#is 3+ hour normal for a playlist I have too many songs for them | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

nijigay · 9 months

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hiiii :3 I noticed ur one (of a few) ppl who ships boniji on tumblr, and I wanna know if you know any accounts/artists who ships them so I could follow them to satiate my boniji fixation >.< Also, some bocchi x nijika questions I wanna personally ask: what songs do you recommend that reminds you of them? Also, what are some boniji fanfics you recommend/like? I probably already read most of their fics but I wanna know what others like. Lastly, ur personal boniji headcanons if you don't mind sharing... 👉👈

I only ask blogs rarely cuz I'm shy so no need to answer immediately...

I'm just brainrotting over boniji so much! im so normal about them (◔‿◔)

AWAWAWA i love boniji like so much like too much like its become my main personality trait!

but youre right!!! it feels like boniji fans are mostly japan natives and there dont seem to be many english speaking boniji fans! ohhh i wish there was more of a following! imagine a boniji zine in the west! i would pay money to get involved with that

im kind of embarrassed about shoving my ships in ppls faces all the time and this might get long and its just me like rambling about my OTP so like .. gona put it under a read more lol. seriously this post is like almost 2k words long thats longer than my average fanfic chapter

i hate to be a shill but im going to be a shill for my fic recommendations:

ive been working on a lowkey corny boniji hanahaki fic on AO3 and some other oneshots, so maybe you would be willing to check my own stuff out?? (if u want .-. im really amateur with this stuff despite being an art student lol) its been on hiatus for like half a year but im just adhd af and keep restarting. im still working on it frequently tho and im secretly hoping to start updating on a consistent basis soon. but i also liked fics like "Midnight and Daydreams" and "Bubblegum Detergent" and "A Sellout Night" and "Just Enough to be Enough" and "A Kiss is Not A Cure". MANNN i remember that last one fucked me up bad when it was posted. it was only the second ever dedicated boniji fic and like I LOVE angst but with how small the sample size of fics was at the time it was like AUFHAUIJKADGF. all those fics are super super good though! i also love the third one, i love the trans bocchi HC personally

umm as far songs songs tho, i guess the ones i associate with boniji most are:

"veil" by keina suda, i remember drafting some animatic for an angsty AU of Hitori living on post-Kessoku

"STEP&CLAP" by yoshino aoyama (aka yoppi aka bocchis VA <3), i think yoppi making the song speaks for itself but its a rly cute song and i love thinking of Hitori and Nijika like tap dancing to it?? check out the rest of yoppi's debut album too!! her voice is so pretty and i was so happy finding out that there are 11 songs with her voice, instead of the 1 from the anime

idk why but i also think of them a lot when listening to PMMM's ost by yuki kaijuri, like "desiderium" and "not yet" and "mada dame yo"? these r kinda a stretch though but idk!!

i also like compiling music that reminds me of them into spotify playlists, if youd like some inspiration for your own! this one and also this angstier one

i have a lot of boniji headcanons but i feel like its hard for me to like list them all in one spot because they usually come to me with context during relevant conversations?? but ill list whatever i can think of!:

this ones not necessarily boniji but i was thinking about it like an hour ago, but i really like the idea of Seika being a huge boniji supporter. like in the source material she already finds Bocchi really cute, so I get the impression she would really like to be an older sister figure for Bocchi (and probably gets jealous of Kikuri for holding that spot in Bocchi's life lol), and so Nijika being a potential love interest for Bocchi would make Seika double down hard on supporting boniji. she'd probably be the one who brings Bocchi up to Nijika more than Nijika would bring her up to Seika?? i also like to imagine that for Seika she has a similar complex to Yoyoko. but instead of "Bocchi is stealing my spot as Hiroi's younger sister figure," it would be "Kikuri is stealing my spot as Bocchi's older sister figure" LOL . if that makes any sense at all

this ones actually taken from a japanese twitter user, but they moved on from boniji after the anime ended. but they had some headcanons that REALLY stuck with me. my favorite was the idea that Bocchi and Nijika both have inferiority complexes with one another. iirc their (translated) words were along the lines of "Bocchi thinks of Nijika as a pure, comforting light in her life, one that could be muddied if Bocchi got involved with her. On the other hand, Nijika thinks of Bocchi as a reliable hero who outshines an ordinary girl like her." i just REALLY like it. it also reminds me of this conversation that Yoppi and Suzushiro had on the BTR podcast, about Bocchi and Nijika's first meeting! like nijika literally brought light into Bocchi's life awdsfsgdhgfjh

actually that same user above also made a tweet that is the reason why i associate Keina Suda's "veil" with boniji! they made a tweet about an AU idea, where, in the event that Nijika would ever pass away, Seika would give Bocchi her ribbon, which Hitori would wear from that point onwards as she continues to play music to honor Nijika's memory. they also suggested that in the opposite event of Hitori passing away, Nijika would possibly do something very rash out of despair but thats dark hahaha!!!!

i kinda think this goes without saying and i think its actually a fairly common HC for BTR characters in general, but I can definitely see Bocchi being trans

I like to imagine that shortly after Volume 2, Bocchi and Nijika would probably have another conversation

eventually, i'm sure if Bocchi and Nijika pursued a relationship that they'd eventually move in together (or like into the same room? if Kessoku Band had a sharehouse?), and since both Bocchi and Nijika tend to be minimalistic with their room decor, their shared room would again become filled with a ton of Ryo's clothes and items and instruments, like how Nijika's room at Seika's apartment is

i think they'd both end up being really touchy with each other, especially when nervous? Bocchi kind of already does this when she's in new places (eg bringing Kita to Shimokitazawa, or going to FOLT for the first time and being dragged by Nijika), but I think it would grow to them finding comfort with each other?

idk if this is necessarily a HC but i really like how Bocchi and Nijika emotionally support each other, even in source. Nijika is shown to have a really good read on Bocchi (to the point of Bocchi worrying that Nijika is actually a psychic), knowing Bocchi's common thought processes, and picking up from Bocchi's mother during her first visit to Kanazawa that karaage chicken can bring Bocchi out of her anxiety attacks, and seems to be the only character who actually comments on Bocchi's growth as an individual and actively tries to facilitate it; but she also doesn't lovebomb Bocchi with praise, striking what seems to be a good balance for pushing Bocchi but also being a reliable confidant for her too.

one of my favorite details from the anime that i really feel doesnt get talked about as often as it should is when Nijika finally notices that Bocchi is guitarhero! she definitely wasn't the first to notice (Seika noticed first, but it seemed like Seika only knew about guitarhero via Nijika. When she notices that Bocchi's playing sounds familiar, her thought process immediately goes towards wondering why Nijika isn't noticing, and then she just tells them to get back to work) but she was the first one that Bocchi admits it too. but my favorite part is how Bocchi says that she wanted to change and grow as a person before telling them the truth, and she says that she especially wanted to grow before Nijika in particular found out! its just really cute, i love how Bocchi was worried about disappointing Nijika. and i like how, after some growth, Bocchi's dream turns from "becoming popular" to "making Kessoku Band the best band it can be" which is like almost basically the same as Nijika's dream! and so it's really nice when Bocchi doubles down on that goal by not remotely entertaining the idea of leaving Kessoku Band, even when goaded by promises of popularity.

last headcanon! because i ran out of thoughts and just came up with this on the spot. but i also like the idea that as the years go on, Bocchi and Nijika in particular may kind of become more similar in personality. i mean, they'd definitely still be distinctly them, but i like to think that Bocchi would eventually start picking up more optimistic habits and stop grimacing all the time, while Nijika would eventually become a little more lax and not reflexively try to dismiss her own negative feelings via looking at the silver lining. i thought of that when Nijika kinda dismisses her family dynamics with her mother's passing and her father's neglect after Kessoku's first real performance, as well as Nijika seeming to admit after inhaling Bocchi Dust(?) during her and Kita's Kanazawa visit that some of her optimism is performative

ok another one Nijika seems to have her art skills commented on sometimes so i like to imagine she has doodles of Bocchi in her sketchbook (alongside everyone else but mostly Bocchi). like think of like Miles Morales drawing a ton of Gwen Stacy like that kinda deal but with Nijika drawing Bocchi. and like Bocchi finds the sketchbook and Nijika freaks out and Bocchi actually doesnt look bc she doesnt want to do something wrong. but then Ryo or Kita take it and look instead and then show Bocchi and Bocchi melts into a flustered puddle

wowwow this got long! sorry! i really mean it when im like OBSESSED with these two like i think ive thought about them on a daily basis ever since the episode aired where Nijika bought Bocchi a cola. isnt that cute, too!? she picked up on Bocchi's favorite soda so quickly! and her buying a box of energy drinks for Bocchi despite not understanding why at all! girlfriend behavior

i really really want to make more boniji content, i'd like to be more active in posting my fics and drabbles and drawings, someday soon. right now most of my boniji content is just illegible sketches in my sketchbook lol

also thank u so much for like sending this ask im like BEGGING internally all the time to be given the chance to talk about them! i dont think theyre like a rarepair or anything, especially with them seeming to be like the second most popular BTR ship in japan, but i do think that not many people talk to them in the english side of the fandom! theyre super super cute and have really good chemistry.

this entire post is probably like a total carwreck i hope its even readable

ill also use this post as an excuse to post my own HCs for a Kessoku Band's relations chart. it's a bonus for reading this far. i'm sorry for draining 22 HP from you with this brain dump

#can i tag this #IM TAGGING THIS #boniji #bocchi the rock!#headcanons #hitori gotoh #nijika ijichi #hitori gotou #uhh what else would i tag. ...#my fanfic is in this #i really. really really REAAAAALLY like boniji #bocchi wants a cosplayer gf and the next day nijika starts fuckign cosplaying #what a coincidence #crazy right #long post #under the read more

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ubeerosophy · 5 months

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Old Song I Know

I consider the music playing in my car to be a critical part of the experience for my passengers when I’m driving for Uber/Lyft.

I’ve had thousands of people in my back seat, and trying to ensure that whatever song is playing when they get in my car appeals to them is no easy feat. Whether they are with me for 3 minutes or 2 and a half hours, I want that time to be as enjoyable as possible. Often a passenger is heading somewhere undesirable, like work, and other times they may just be having a bad day. If possible, I want to help them escape for a few moments.

The first couple of weeks I did Uber/Lyft, I didn’t have anything playing in my car. I was still navigating the whole process and I wasn’t sure what was normal or comfortable. In hindsight, the silence was probably pretty awkward for those early passengers. At some point, I began putting on a local radio station that played the most current and popular music. That was okay, but then I found that after a couple of years I was still listening to the same songs 9 or 10 times in a single day. More often than not, songs I hated. I decided there had to be a compromise to where I wasn’t spending my entire workday trapped in a car listening to what I considered to be insufferable music. I made a playlist of just the popular songs I didn’t hate and began using that. It worked for a while, but then I grew tired of it as well. Eventually, knowing that on some level 80’s music appeals to most people, I threw together a playlist of instantly recognizable and upbeat songs like “Take On Me” and “Beat It.” It proved to be a pretty successful move, and passengers would regularly hum or sing along to artists like Prince or Don Henley, while in-between rides I would serenade the empty space with The Outfield or Depeche Mode.

About a year ago, I started producing a 90’s themed podcast and YouTube channel. (the90sweekbyweek.com, thanks for asking!) While deep diving into the music of that era, which is far more representative of my formative years than the 80’s, I decided to switch to a 90’s Uber/Lyft playlist. As I watch people my age reminisce over a song or a moment they associate it with, I’m offered a sense of shared nostalgia. For instance, I had a passenger the other day talk about a tour they recently attended that included the band New Edition. While New Edition itself is more closely associated with the 80’s, they spawned several acts that are considered quintessential 90’s. In this case, the song “Poison” by Bel Biv Devoe had come on while they were in my car. “Poison,” by far, elicits some of the most positive reactions from my passengers. Rightfully so. I’ve heard it a thousand times in the past year and still haven’t gotten tired of it.

Selecting songs from the 90’s to put into a playlist for an extremely diverse group of random people is a lot harder than it may seem. Especially when you’re trying to find music that you yourself don’t hate or will get burned out on quickly. Obviously, if you’re trying to bring someone’s mood up or give them a positive experience, you can’t just go with what were considered the most popular songs of the 90’s. Many of them have inappropriate lyrics or intense musical arrangements, and others tend to be too mellow or melancholy. In addition, what I consider to be the best songs of the 90’s may not be the best choices for an Uber/Lyft ride. I long considered Pearl Jam’s song “Black” to be my favorite of any era. After years of playing it over and over, I’m not as high on it as I once was, but still consider it a vital part of any 90’s playlist I’m making for myself. Honestly, every song off the “Ten” album could go on a 90’s playlist and I’d consider it acceptable. Not a single song on that album, however, has made it on my Uber/Lyft 90’s playlist. I just don’t see them helping anyone’s mood for the amount of time I’m taking them wherever they are going. On the other hand, “Jump” by Kriss Kross or “Fantasy” by Mariah Carey have a pretty high success rate.

Sometimes, after I’ve listened to a song for the hundredth time, I start to question my decision to include it in the first place. And I’m not going to lie, “Ice Ice Baby” is still in rotation, but every time it comes on, I get a little embarrassed. God forbid that anyone who doesn’t know that I compiled a list of popular 90’s songs think that I just chose to listen to Vanilla Ice on my own accord. I’m not judging anyone that chooses to express their inner Rob Van Winkle on a regular basis, he’s just not real indicative of anything I choose to associate with. Another example of a song on my current 90’s Uber/Lyft playlist that I second guess is “So What’Cha Want” by the Beastie Boys. It’s one of my favorites on there, but with such a heavy beat and staticky vocals, I wonder if the appeal is broad enough for the myriad of people entering my car. Conversely, while it’s also currently in rotation, I fear that “Plush” by Stone Temple Pilots has a tempo that is too slow to bring or keep people’s spirits up.

It's difficult to separate your affinity for certain songs and the memories you attach to them from the unknown experiences of others. Especially complete strangers. I’m constantly questioning and refining my 90’s playlist. Imagine you are getting in an Uber or Lyft, and the driver is playing 90’s music. If you are looking to be in a festive or positive mood, what songs would you want to hear? What songs would it be hard not to smile at or begin humming along to? Feel free to leave your thoughts and suggestions in the comments and thanks in advance!

And now…a haiku:

though the songs differ

everyone has a soundtrack

if you will listen

“Where words fail, music speaks.” ~ Hans Christian Andersen

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autistic-zukoao3 · 4 months

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Have a masterlist of some of my playlists on Spotify that I think FUCK.

Dissociate: Songs that make us dissociate to better communication and visualize one another. Mostly very chill, mellow sounding songs. There are some not so chill ones however so Content warning for rape, murder, suicide, and self harm. "Under the Moon" by Insane Clown Posse has all of the above. Playlist length is 2 hours and 55 minutes (as of 12/31/2023)

Moon Lullabies: This is a playlist full of songs that I think Moon would sing or play on a music box for the kids. There are also lullabies that are just simply moon (as in the celestial body) related. This is 3 hours and 22 minutes long (as of 12/31/2023)

DID Vibes: this playlist has songs that remind us of DID. Some of them remind us of DID because they sound like alters talking to each other, or it's because it's applicable to our own trauma. This comes with content warnings for CSA (childhood sexual abuse), SA (sexual assault/abuse), and death. The playlist is short at only 32 minutes (as of 12/31/2023)

Littles to Front: Songs from our childhood (80's - 00's) that make the Littles rush to front. Features songs from Mister Rogers, Norman Blake, Emmylou Harris, Alison Krauss, and many more. Ranges from upbeat to sleepy songs. Length is 1 hour 17 minutes (as of 12/31/2023)

Playing with Sunny!: Upbeat songs with a few sleepy ones here and there. Not much else to say about it, ngl lol. Length is 2 hours and 9 minutes (as of 12/31/2023)

I Feel... Spikey Emotions: Loud, angry, screaming, thudding drums, and driving guitars! Blood lust! Revenge! Kill kill kill! Gnashing teeth. Alone in the woods and screaming into the sky. This has black metal, heavy metal, whateverthefuck Insane Clown Posse is, rap, thrash, etc. Lots of heavy music, with angry or depressing lyrics. Or lyrics I can't understand (squints at Lifelover and Psychonaut 4) but fits the vibe. Content warnings for murder, alcoholism, suicide, songs about the Holocaust, abuse, and definitely more I'm not remembering. Length is 8 hours and 6 minutes (as of 12/31/2023)

Papa's Lullaby: This is actually a playlist I made because Spotify wouldn't just play songs from a specific album I wanted, so I put all of the songs from it onto it to increase my chances of those songs playing. This album was released in 2001 and is from various artists around the globe. It is called "Papa's Lullaby: Lullabies Sung by Fathers Around the World" and is absolutely beautiful. I feel so warm and safe and loved when I listen to it. No trigger warnings for this one, as it was intended for children so there aren't any triggering themes (at least in the songs I can understand haha!) Length is 1 hour and 2 minutes (will never change)

Summer Vibes: this playlist has songs that remind me of the summer! Whether it be because the songs are about doing summer activities, or if they were just listened to a lot during a summer in my life. Many of the songs were on the radio 24/7 during the summer from c. ~2008 - 2014 ish. There are more modern songs on there as well, and I'm sure songs that are older than from 2008. Given how Fucked Up I felt growing up undiagnosed and trans and traumatized and a system etc etc there are a LOT of trigger warnings for this one. I have a lot of Sad Songs on there. So trigger warnings for abuse, sexual abuse/assault, childhood sexual abuse/assault, self harm, suicide, death, and likely more I'm not remembering. But it's a huge playlist with lots of Normal songs on there too, it's not just Sad songs. This playlist is a honkin fellow at a whopping 12 hours and 41 minutes (as of 12/31/2023)

I hope you enjoy them! Listen to them! Listen to them! Please! I want you to listen to them!

(Listen to them! Listen to them! Please! I want you to listen to them!

#zuko recommends #character playlist #mood playlist

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thecapitolprincess · 8 months

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Deep city lights, girl could get lost tonight

LYAH YAZBEK. VICTOR. 59TH HUNGER GAMES.

PLAYLIST | PINTEREST | TIMELINE

Name: Lyah Yazbek

Age: 32

Gender: Cis woman, she/her

Home: Capitol, District 5

Role: Victor

Personality: Sweet, naive, gentle, gracious, trusting

Song: Girls Just Wanna Have Fun (Acoustic) - The Mayries

Faceclaim: Pinar Deniz

OVERVIEW

TW - Unhealthy family dynamic, death mention

Lyah Yazbek was born to Mahir Yazbek and Rani Shah in District 5. She is the third of 4 children. She has an older brother and older sister, Silas and Asha, and a younger brother, Ferren.

She had a relatively normal childhood and her family was close. Her father worked as a technician in the power plants and her mother worked for the grocer in town. Because both Mahir and Rani worked long hours to provide for their large family, Silas was often left in charge of the other three children while their parents were out and became something of a third parent. Despite the long days and the financial struggle, the Yazbek family was close, content with what they had and took pleasure in just being together.

As a child, she was often impulsive and clumsy, but she always had the best intentions. Generally an extrovert, she enjoyed making friends and hanging out in groups, but also valued downtime or moments with a close friend or her family. She has always gotten enjoyment from making others smile and laugh, and does what she can to brighten the day of those she loves.

Lyah was 16 when her name was called at the reaping for the 59th Hunger Games, no one believed she was ever going to make it out. She was too sweet. Too gentle. Too small. Her family piled into the small room of the Justice Building to say their tearful farewells, and she was sent off to the Capitol. In her initial interview with Caesar Flickerman, she established her sweetheart image and did well in front of the cameras, but even her bubbly personality wasn’t enough to score her many sponsors.

The 59th Games were set in what remained of a city from the before times. It was a ghost town with decrepit brick buildings, rusty and battered warehouses, and crumbling concrete roads being reclaimed by nature. Lyah developed dust pneumonia from constantly breathing in fine dust particles from the rubble she hid in. She ultimately won her Games when the girl from District 3 fell to her death in a fight.

When Lyah returned home, she was ready to find comfort in the arms of her family, but something had changed. They had grown cold. Distant. And instead of being greeted with open arms and tears of joy, thankful that she had made it out alive, she was met with harsh criticism. “You’ve changed.” “I don’t even recognize you.” “You’re a monster.” They had been disgusted by watching her in the games, from eating rats to fighting back against Vi, they couldn’t look at her the same way. She had survived the Games but had still lost everything.

Lyah never returned home from her victory tour. Her house in Victor’s Village was empty and cold, a perfect reflection of what her life in 5 had become after being shunned by the Yazbeks, and she preferred to keep her distance from it all. The Capitol had welcomed her, and shown her the warmth and acceptance that her family had refused. She embraced this warmth and became devoted to the Capitol. She was happy to make appearances, became well acquainted with officials, and even fell into favor with Snow. Her bright personality and loyalty made her something of a princess for them, loved by many. Because of her loyalty, she was never subjected to many of the things forced upon her fellow victors. In fact, she remains blissfully unaware that the Capitol has treated them any differently than they have her. She does not believe that the rebellion could possibly be good when the Capitol has given her everything that she had lost back in District 5.

Currently, Lyah resides in the Capitol, just as she has for the past 16 years, and is against the rebellion

The 59th Hunger Games.

Lyah knew going into the Games that she wasn’t going to be able to fight her way out of the arena, but with plenty of places to hide, she managed to make it much further than anyone had expected. She spent her days hiding in the dilapidated buildings, managing to conceal herself and the backpack she stumbled upon early on in the Games amongst the rubble and debris. At night, she would hide in the shadows as she searched for food — killing rats and other rodents, picking the edible plants she managed to identify — and a new hiding spot.

She watched their faces flash across the sky each night with sick relief as their numbers dwindled: 24, 20, 15, 10…It wasn’t until she made it into the top 5 that she allowed herself to feel the slightest bit of hope. But it was short-lived.

Around day 10, Lyah started feeling a deep ache in her chest. By day 12, it hurt to breathe. By day 14, she knew that it had developed into something more severe, but there was nothing to do but wait. Everything changed on day 15.

When Lyah awoke on day 15, it was mid-afternoon, and her whole body hurt. Her lungs protested with each breath, and she knew she was feverish. She still had to move. She would have to try. She had tucked herself away behind a pile of rubble on the top floor of what must have been an old office building. A significant portion of the exterior wall had fallen away, leaving something of a cliff with at least a 10-story drop. Despite her best efforts, she couldn’t find it in herself to get herself up and moving again. She was too sick, too tired. So she stayed in her corner, dozing off as she was unable to keep her eyes open.

She was violently awoken by the sound of a canon, shortly followed by a second. There was a sinking feeling as she realized it was down to the final two, and the hope she once felt was suddenly replaced with dread and fear. Lyah was going to die, and it was going to be soon. It was just a matter of whether it would be at the hands of her fellow tribute or from whatever illness had come over her. She hoped for the latter and took comfort in the fact that the tribute, whoever it may be — the boy from 2, the girl from 3, or the boy from 8 — would have to scour a whole city to find her. Surely it would be impossible. The illness would take her out first.

Except it didn’t. Two days later, Lyah was sicker and weaker than she had ever felt. She had barely managed to move, but the unmistakable sound of footsteps shot enough adrenaline into her veins to help her up. By the time she was back on her feet, Vi, the girl from, 3 had already appeared in front of her. What happens next is a blur, but Lyah manages to fight back against her opponent when she grabs her. The two claw at one another, and scramble to maintain their footing on the dusty, uneven floor. After nearly 15 minutes of struggling, Lyah is ready to give up. Her lungs are screaming and she’s exhausted, but she somehow can’t let it go. She keeps fighting, until suddenly, they’re falling. The floor had given way and they both hit the ground on the level below. Lyah sustains a broken wrist and some bruised ribs. Vi broke her neck. The cannon sounds, and Lyah is the victor of the 59th Games.

#the princess #read me

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banannabethchase · 10 months

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Set the World Alight: Chapter 12 - also on AO3

It was going to happen eventually. Somebody was going to be cruel. But Matt's almost astonished at how many more people are kind. And violent. She didn't expect to be so giddy about the violence.

Warning: there is overt, explicit transphobia in this chapter by a side character. The transphobia is dealt with the way it should be: with fists and zero mercy. Please be cautious with yourself <3

Tuesday, March 11th

Matt

Matt slogs out of bed to make it to school, miserable and tied and so exhausted she doesn’t even know how to process it. Hours of trying to fix the broken sink, only for her dad to decide to call the plumber in the morning, have stolen her sanity.

“Why,” Nick mumbles, chugging his large iced coffee when Matt comes downstairs, “are we forced to exist as high school students?”

“Because the world hates us,” Matt mumbles. Her eyes are half shut as she sips her coffee. “Now stop talking before I remember we have a game this afternoon. I don’t think I’ll survive until then.”

They drive to school in near silence, a quiet Spotify playlist singing Ingrid Michaelson songs, and they shoot each other drowsy waves as they go to class. Matt was barely able to pick a normal outfit this morning, so focused on staying awake, that she pulled on dress she and Willow had picked up at Target over the weekend. At the very least, she’s comfortable.

Matt yawns her way through all of her classes, glad she’s pretty much at the point of coasting.

“You look dead,” Britt says. “What’s wrong with you?”

“The water pipe in our garage burst last night,” Matt mumbles. “Nick and Dad and I were up until, like, one in the morning fixing it.”

“Can’t you hire somebody to do that?”

Matt laughs. “Not when your dad is Matthew Jackson. He had all the materials and tools and whatever and insisted we help him. My mom was in charge of towels. And then he still couldn’t fix it.” She yawns again. “Oh, god, I’m gonna suck today.”

“You won’t,” Britt says. “Because, if you do, Athena will kill you.”

“Thanks for the support,” Matt mumbles, and she drains her energy drink.

Nick

Nick yawns as he starts the warm up, dropping his bags next to the bench as he gets dizzy.

“What are you doing?” Mox calls to hm. “We’ve got, like, an hour before the game starts.”

“If I sit down, I’ll fall asleep,” Nick says. “Last night we were all up really late at home.”

Mox frowns. “Yeah, Matt cut the goodnight call off because of – I think she said something with the sink?” Nick nods and yawns again.

“Water pipe busted.”

Mox winces. “That blows.”

Nick and Mox practice passing and shooting hoops as the other players walk in, and, finally, the other team. They’re from the town over, so Nick sort of knows them. Which is unfortunate, because some of them are real dicks.

“Heads up,” Nick mutters to Mox.

Mox glances over and rolls his eyes. “Oh, great. Them.”

The cheer team comes in next, dressed up for the game. Mox gets immediately distracted.

“I’ll – talk to you during the game,” Mox says, sending Nick a quick, concerned look. “I don’t trust these guys.”

Nick watches at Mox jogs his way over to Matt, pulling her in close and whispering something in her ear. And then he sees the people he was worried about on the other team.

The previous year, one of the guys on the team from Granville whispered some pretty horrible things about some of the players. Racist things, homophobic things. Small town white America horrible kind of things.

Nick has a sudden wash of realization of what might happen when they lock their eyes on Matt.

“Hey,” Nick says, yanking Cole’s arm, “keep an eye out for that kid with the weird bleach blonde hair.”

Cole follows his gaze. “Oh, shit. I remember that guy.” His gaze goes hard. “Want me to kill him if he does anything?”

“You?”

Cole shrugs. “I mean, me and Kyle could take him out, yeah?”

“We’ll just see who gets there first,” Nick says, tone dark. “I’m too tired for this. If he pulls anything…” Nick trails off, letting the threat hang in the air. He can’t shake this feeling of wrong.

“Don’t worry,” Cole says, clapping him on the shoulder. “If they pull anything, we’ve all got each other’s backs.”

Nick tries to smile. But it won’t come.

Matt

“Mox,” Matt says, beaming up at him. “Hi. What’s up?” There’s some sort of tension behind his eyes, something tight that worries her. “Everything okay?”

Mox frowns. He doesn’t nod. He doesn’t shake his head. “Hopefully,” he mutters. “Just. If anybody says anything to you, tell me. Okay?”

“Oh, right,” Matt says, sighing. “This team.” She looks over Mox’s shoulder. “They’re the ones who were being awful about Willow last time, right?”

“Among other things,” Mox says. She can see something behind his eyes. “Just…don’t go anywhere alone, baby. Alright?”

Matt nods. She’s never seen Mox like this before. Never seen him any type of anxious. It’s almost scary.

Adam, giant backpack over his shoulder, makes his way to the bleachers. She watches his expression shift as he checks his phone, and he slides down to the bottom of the bleachers. He doesn’t pull out any books. He doesn’t even have his phone out. He’s sitting, arms folded across his chest.

She’s not used to feeling a room fool of worry, is the thing. She’s been wary at the grocery store, at the mall, at the movies. But she’s never felt an imminent threat before.

“It’s going to be okay.” She exhales, practicing some of the grounding techniques her therapist has taught her over the years. “It’s going to be okay.” Matt’s on her way to the other cheerleaders, though, when it happens.

“Oh, shit!” The tone is mocking, attention-grabbing.

Matt glances over at the person shouting, confused. She twists the ends of one of her French braids in her fingers. It’s not exactly that she knew this was going to happen. It’s not even that she knows that tone of voice is directed at her.

But you can’t fight a gut feeling.

“I told you, Alex,” says the guy who spoke. Matt can’t help but notice the poorly executed trendy haircut on bleached blonde hair. “This is the team with the tranny on it.”

Her entire body goes cold.

Matt moves to step up to him, but four things happen at once:

Adam half flies across the court toward the guy who spoke.

Jamie’s a whirl of French braids and rage zooming past Matt from the cheer bench

Nick’s jumped off of the bench behind Matt

And four, Mox, moving faster than Matt’s seen anybody move, pulls his fist back and slams it into the kid’s face.

Matt is not into this. She is not into the way Mox shakes out his hand, like it’s nothing, like he’s done this before.

“Talk louder,” Mox snarls, looming over the kid, laid out on the ground. “I fuckin’ dare you.”

Adam skids to a stop next to him, shoulder to shoulder. Then Nick, then Jamie.

It’s pretty much mayhem, the next couple of moments. Matt steps in to trip a guy, sending him to the floor. Somebody throws a punch at Mox and hits him in the nose, but Mox laughs and headbutts him so hard he falls to the floor.

The adults, stupefied for the first moment, rush in soon after. Matt’s a little smug at the way the guy she tripped is half crying on the ground, holding his face. Adam’s flattened a guy with one move with his forearm, and Mox has taken on two of them at once and gotten a bloody nose for the effort. Matt has to force herself not to climb him like a tree. Jamie has the bleach blonde kid in a headlock while Nick stares him down, hand twisted in his hair, and Matt’s never felt so safe in her life.

“Break it up,” Coach Gunn says.

Coach Rayne comes up to Matt and checks her face, her arms. “Are you alright, sweetheart?”

“I’m fine,” Matt says, even though she’s shaking a little bit. “I’m fine.”

Coach Gunn is peeling Jamie and Nick off of the bleach blonde guy, and Matt stares him down. He blinks first.

“That’s what I thought,” she says in her prissiest voice as she tosses her braid over her shoulder.

The other coach comes over. “Jesus Christ, Marcus, this is strike three.” He nods at Gunn and grabs his player by the shoulder, spinning him around. “Get your ass on the bench. You’re removed from the team.” He looks over at the other three. “And y’all are on this ice.”

Matt follows his gaze to the three on the ground, looking miserable. The other players come over. Matt doesn’t want to be that person, but he thinks he spots a few of them smiling at him, including a boy with what may just be a rainbow necklace.

“Thank you,” says one of the other team. “We’ve been wanting to do that to those four for, like, years.”

Mox lets out a great laugh, one Matt wants to hold in her pocket for the rest of her life. “You insult my girlfriend, you go through me.” He stares everybody in the room down . “Warning to everybody, I guess.” Mox turns and walks toward Matt, pulling her in and kissing her so hard she forgets her own name. When he pulls back his smile is soft and gentle. The one he saves just for her. “You hear me? Nobody messes with my girl.” He presses a kiss to her forehead. “I love you, Matty.”

Matt’s heart is beating so fast she can’t catch her breath, is so into this guy she gets to call hers she can’t think. “Okay,” she manages to say. For some reason, she feels like she’s going to cry. It could be because of the slur she had to hear, it could be because of the violence she witnessed. But she thinks it’s because of the confession of dedication she just heard from Mox, and she’s pretty sure she knows it now.

“Yeah?” Mox asks, smile reaching his eyes.

Matt nods and leans in again. Mox starts kissing every ounce of sanity out of Matt, and she’s happy to let it happen, despite the blood, despite the violence. Nick clears his throat, and Matt pulls away.

“Um,” says Coach Gunn, frowning. “Now, I think I’m legally required to, like, yell at you about that. Or take you out of the game, since you technically threw the first punch. Though it was definitely deserved.” His eyes follow the kid being taken out by his coach. “And to get you checked out by a doctor or something.”

“Oh, no,” says the referee, “no, this game isn’t happening. You just had an all-out fight on the court. I’m calling this one a forfeit on both sides.”

“Forfeit?!” says the kid who yelled about Matt, twisting around in his coach’s grip. “They started it!”

“They did not,” says the ref firmly. “You used a transphobic slur. What did you think was going to happen?”

The kid opens and closes his moth a few times, clearly baffled at the consequences of his actions, and Matt allows himself to feel a little smug about it.

“I’m fine, Coach,” Mox says, dabbing at his nose. “Shit, I’m really leaking like a faucet, aren’t I?”

“Kind of,” Matt agrees as they make their way backstage to the trainer’s. She looks down at her uniform, the white stained nearly pink. “I have blood, like. Everywhere.”

Mox grins. “Makes you look badass, though. Kind of warrior princess, you know?”

Matt leans in and kisses Mox again. She touches Mox’s face, wiping some of the blood where it’s slowed to a trickle out of his nose. She doesn’t care that it’s staining her cheer uniform, that it’s ruined her makeup, that there’s blood in her hair. “I like that idea.”

They make it to the trainer’s room.

“Mox, you’ve always bled like a stuck pig,” Doc Sampson says, a little laugh behind it. He dabs at Mox’s nose. “Matty, you okay?”

“Yeah, it’s not my blood.”

Doc Sampson raises an eyebrow. “You fought?”

“No, it’s mine,” Mox says. “But after, I had to kiss my girl. They were being jackasses. Had to show them who was the lucky one here.”

Matt watches Doc’s face carefully, prepared for shock or horror or disgust, with the way the day is going. But, instead, Doc just smiles.

“My little girl is trans, too,” he says. “She’s in third grade. Maybe…Maybe the two of you could get ice cream? Talk?”

Matt nods. “Yeah. I. I think that would be cool.”

Doc nods and tends to Mox.

“Do you know where the other guy is?” Matt asks. Mox keeps a hand on hers, fingers intertwined. She squeezes it. “Are they bringing him in here?”

“Absolutely not,” Doc says, shaking his head. “They have their own trainer. They can work in the backup room.”

Matt smiles. “Thanks, Doc.”

Doc nods. “We protect ours, right? Nobody messes with the kids, mine or my athletes.”

Doc and Matt are quiet while Mox chatters on about stories when he’d broken bones in the past, Matt’s fingers still entwined with Mox’s. It feels casual now, safe, like Matt doesn’t have to watch her back or turn around every five seconds to make sure no one is on their way to hurt her.

“Alright,” Doc says, “I’ll grab you some more gauze from the back before you leave, just in case your nose starts bleeding again. Don’t bump it!”

“I’m not gonna bump it,” Mox says, rolling his eyes. “Matt, please don’t bump my nose.”

“I’ll do my best,” Matt promises.

They’re left alone, finally, after everything. Matt hops off the bench and starts pacing the small distance she can manage while still holding Mox’s hand. She doesn’t realize how hard she’s gripping his hand until she sees him wince for the first time.

“I’m sorry,” she says, her voice shaky.

“Don’t worry about it, baby,” Mox says, voice soft and gentle. “Are you okay?”

Matt nods. She’s not going to cry, she doesn’t think. She doesn’t feel the urge. “I’m okay,” she says.

“I’m so sorry you had to hear it.” Mox reaches out with grabby hands, and Matt steps into his space, burying her face into his chest. “That guy’s an ass and the worst person in this building, by far. I’m sorry.”

“You didn’t do anything wrong,” Matt mumbles into Mox’s chest.

Mox sighs, tightening his hands around her, burying his now clean face into her neck. “I should – I should have hit him before he started talking. You shouldn’t have had to hear him say that – that word.” Mox exhales again, then leans back. He smiles down at Matt, adjusting her hair where it poofed out of her braids.

Matt doesn’t even think before she says what’s next. She just knows she has to say it. “I love you.”

Mox’s eyes widen. “Really?”

Matt nods, unsure that she meant to say it now, but sure. No matter what, she’s sure. “I do.”

“I love you, too,” Mox says, smiling. “But you already knew that.” And what can Matt do but lean in and kiss him again?

Nick

Nick is a little unsteady, trying to get his breathing under control. He’s never been in a fight before. He’s always known it was a possibility, that kind of hatred, toward his friends and Matt for being who they are, but he didn’t expect it so blatant. He didn’t expect it to come to his sister first.

“Are you okay?” Adam asks. He rests a hesitant hand on Nick’s shoulder. “You’re kind of shaking.”

Nick’s quiet for a moment. He watches the other coach go off on the boys that had backed the transphobe, half dragging them away from the court and out the door toward what he hopes is the extra trainer’s room. It’s a comfort that the coach is showing them no sympathy, but it doesn’t feel like enough. “Matt shouldn’t have had to hear that.” He looks up into Adam’s clear, bright eyes. “We shouldn’t have had to do that.” Suddenly, he feels tears well up in his eyes. “Why did that have to happen?”

Like it’s automatic, like it’s happened a million times and it’s what’s expected of him, Adam pulls Nick in. He gathers Nick in his arms, holds him to his strong chest, and they stand there, just breathing. Nick cries. He cries and shakes and mourns the day he should have had, and Adam holds him silently. He doesn’t even think about how there were probably people there waiting, people there watching. People who can now see how effected he is by all this. And he doesn’t care.

Adam is making calm shushing noises, stroking his hair.

Nick pulls back a little, looking up at him. “Are you using your scared animal voice with me?” he asks.

Adam flushes pink. “Um. Okay, yes, but I thought it would help, and it did! You’re not crying anymore.” He reaches out and, with a callused thumb, gently brushes the tear away from Nick’s cheek. “Hey. You good?”

“I’m good,” Nick says, only half aware of the way he still has his arms wrapped around Adam’s waist. Like this is how they always stand. “Thanks for joining ranks with us to kick that guy’s butt.”

Adam smiles. “Of course. Thanks for texting me heads up beforehand. I was ready.” He reaches up and tucks Nick’s ponytail back over his shoulder. “Nobody messes with my best friends, right?”

The two of them help the other girls on the cheer team clean up their bags and everything. It’s slow work, though, everyone recuperating from the stressful events.

“I would have killed him,” Jamie says as she takes off her basketball sneakers and throws them in her bag so hard they bounce. “You hear me? I would have killed them if they’d let me.”

“We know, babe,” Britt murmurs, rubbing Jamie’s back. “It’s okay.”

They talk, a little. But it’s clear they’re all killing time, waiting for Mox and Matt to come back.

“You guys can go,” Nick says, doing his best to mimic a smile. “I mean, you don’t have to. But I’ll take care of her. And Mox, too.”

“And me,” Adam says. “I’ve got them, too. Don’t forget about me.”

“No one would forget about you, Cowboy,” Cole says, clapping Adam on the back. “Good work.”

The crowd dissipates quickly, an unseasonably warm March afternoon now open to all of them, and Adam bumps the back of Nick’s hand when they’re alone.

“You good?” he asks quietly.

“Yeah,” Nick says, “I mean – I guess, yeah.” He fidgets again, bumping Adam’s hand. “I just want to make sure Matt’s okay, is all.”

“I’m not asking if Matt’s okay, Nicky,” Adam says. He steps in front of Nick, tilting Nick’s chin up to meet his eyes. Nick’s heart races. “I’m asking if you’re okay.”

“I –” Nick exhales again and can’t stop himself from falling into Adam’s chest again, hugging him close. A few moments pass while Adam rubs his back, and then Nick pulls back. He’s close to Adam’s face, and if he leaned in. If he admitted what he really wanted –

Somebody clears their throat, and Nick and Adam jump away from each other.

“Adam.”

Nick turns to see Mox and Matt. Mox looks focused, determined. Matt just looks confused.

“Yeah?” he asks hesitantly. Nick hates the way Adam tenses, like he’s getting ready to be fought. “What’s up?”

Mox looks to Matt, who, still confused, just shrugs. Mox walks up to Adam and Nick doesn’t even have a chance to step in.

Mox throws his arms around Adam’s shoulders, hugging him close. “Thank you, man.”

Adam throws a bewildered look over Mox’s shoulder to Nick. Nick can’t do anything but shrug, befuddled beyond belief. “For what?”

“Coming to back me up,” Mox says, stepping backward. “Um, earlier. You didn’t leave us high and dry.”

Adam nods, slowly, like he’s not quite sure what’s going on. “Of – of course I’d step in. Nobody messes with Matty, right?”

Nick looks over to see Matt beaming. She seems to be seeing something in the moment Nick just can’t yet.

“I’m sorry I punched you back in middle school,” Mox says. “I mean, I know it was a while ago, but I never apologized, which is shitty. I, uh, I think you’re a pretty good dude. I get it if you don’t want anything to do with me, but I just wanted you to know, like.” He shrugs. “You’re a good person, and I appreciate that.”

Adam looks bewildered. “I – okay. I mean, yeah. We don’t really have an issue now, right?”

Mox shakes his head. “Not unless you think we do, that is.”

Adam smiles. “Cool, I. I’m glad we’re good.”

“Can we get lunch or something?” Matt says, sneaking up beside Mox and slipping her hand into his. “If we don’t have a game, we can get food or something.” She blinks. “We could always go to – ”

“No Sonic,” the three boys say all at once.

Matt stares at them, blinking. “How did you all know I was gonna say Sonic?”

“Because they have cherry limeades and popcorn chicken, and those are your favorite things together,” Mox says, pressing a kiss to the top of her head. “And then you complain, every time, that they didn’t give you enough extra cherries.”

“I don’t –”

“You definitely do,” Adam says. “Every time we have an option to get food, you always say Sonic and then you always complain about the cherries.”

Matt turns to Nick.

“Don’t look at me for help,” he says. “They’re right.”

“You three suck,” Matt says, pouting.

“Let’s Taco Bell or something,” Mox says. “I want a crunch wrap.”

Matt and Mox are in front as they get to parking lot, their hands swinging between them. Nick looks over at Adam quickly, fast enough he doesn’t think Adam can see it. And begins to wonder how long he can fight this off.

Adam’s quiet, too, and Nick wants to ask, wants to say something, wants to bring it up. But he’s too scared.

#MoxMatt #MoxMatt high school AU #wtf i like wrestling now???#in which sara writes #This chapter gave me hell because I didn't want it to happen but it kind of needed to? Which sucks. But.#If there's anything I need to fix or tag for please let me know!

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ralofofriverwoods · 7 months

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hii i admittedly don’t remember much about your ocs so i dont have specific ones in mind, but here r some ask prompts for whichever ocs u wanna answer it for: 5, 6, 9, & 21

(i can’t be assed to try and copy paste them all on mobile <3)

That's alright lol I have not posted much sensible stuff about them. Once I get the master post up it’ll be good I think

This was wayyyy longer than I thought it would be 😭 so answers are under read more

I color coded the names bc it’s easier to read for me

5 - how far is your oc willing to go to get what they want?

Virthik will go pretty far, but once it gets too inconvenient or dodgy he tends to split off of whatever the original idea was, and try and do it himself. Or he just gives up on it all together, if it’s not super consequential. Path of least resistance and all that

Farlian refuses to hurt friends and aquaintances she likes, and prefers to not mess with regular people, especially when they’re just kinda normal n well mannered. She’s pretty good at persuasion tho, so it’s much easier to avoid killing/hurting people

Zuft’zahr can and will drain you of your life savings if it’s important enough, and has enough contacts to get what he wants when he wants it. He just prefers less extreme stuff so he doesn’t have to write as many letters.

6 - how easy could your oc be convinced to do something that goes against their morals?

Virthik has. Questionable morals to begin with, but he won’t cross the boundaries that he does have for almost anything. He’s gotta draw a line in the sand somewhere, even if it’s a little bit weird and scraggly and too deep in some places

Farlian can be convinced, it just takes a lot of time and energy. If it’s presented well enough she could be tricked, but whatever is done would have to be fast so she couldn’t ponder too long.

Zuft’zahr has also got arguably questionable morals, he’s just a little more flexible with it. If there’s a good reason to go against what he feels is right he’ll do whatever is needed, but he doesn’t like crossing his boundaries too much. He’d much rather look over all the options for hours before making a decision over taking someone’s word for what it is. Which he has done before lol his fav shout is slow time for a reason

9 - do you have a specific lyric or quote you associate with your oc?

Hsgdhshsjs oh boy do I. I have so many. So so so many. I will only list a few but I have almost every song on my liked playlist(600+ songs) assigned to at least 1 character

Ok so farlian I associate with a lot of dirt poor robins songs, mostly the songs All There Is(deluxe edition), Enchanté, To The Heights, and Babylon. Ofc there are quite a few but I am also a little biased bc they’re amazing. The lyricist is what I imagine she would sound like, so it’s a very hard task to choose just one lyric. I’m sure I have a quote assigned to her somewhere but I have like 13 different oc info storage places and I would not be able to find it in a reasonable time lol

I associate Virthik with a lot of moodier ajr songs, like The Good Part and The Dumb Song, but that may be a little bit of projection when I feel frustrated haha. I also associate him with some rock songs like paper machete, little sister, what the peephole say, friends in low places, etc. generally more angry+loud stuff or sad mad stuff, if that makes sense.

I don’t have near as much for Zuft’zahr, unfortunately, but I know for a fact he would listen to lemon demon songs a LOT. And maybe some of The Correspondents

21 - does your oc have any illnesses or disorders? How do they handle it?

Virthik has got some chronic shit going on just kinda. All over. Turns out turning into a fucked up gutted dragon semi frequently really takes a toll on the body. It’s not too bad all the time, but it’s normally semi evident. When it flares up he mostly just tries to avoid the northern parts of Skyrim, so the cold doesn’t exacerbate it. He’s also trying to make some potions to help out some,

He’s also got anxiety, ‘specially in often populated spaces like dragonsreach and the bigger cities. He definitely prefers hanging with the dragur and dwarven automata. he’d rather die than admit it, but it’s definitely there. Most of the time it’s manageable but sometimes just skipping a crowded area for a few hours is best. Hes also been trying to do breathing excercises, since he found out about the whole Dragonborn thing. It’s mostly for the shouts, but it helps with the anxiety too.

Farlian has whatever flavor of adhd that I have and doesn’t really focus on any one thing fully, but like. I’m not diagnosed by anyone other than my friend who has it, so take that with a cup of salt. She just gets all of my not sad brain juice, so whatever I have she has.

Zuft’zahr has a glaring lack of issues compared to virthik especially, but his role in the big metaphorical picture is ‘the reference material’ or the grounding force. So he’s meant to be like taking a step back, grabbing a bite to eat and a nap, and looking at your problem again in a few hours with a clear mind. He gets to be a little bit more ‘normal’ because of that

I’m always trying to learn more abt different mental stuff, but If I don’t know about it in great depth I won’t add it to a character explicitly. Makes it hard to simulate their character if I don’t know exactly how their brain works, yk?

Buhh sorry this took so long I was not able to focus on it for more than like 10-15 minutes at a time, so It was hard to make it make sense. But I hope u liked my answers!!

#I can elaborate if desired as well #random #farlian’s ask box #ask farlian #farlian’s ocs #damn I have so many personal tags now.#and I don’t think any of these bitches actually work #oh well #oc ask meme

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sk3tch404 · 2 years

Note

You're definitely right about me being absolutely unsupervised as kid on the internet 💀 bro I was THERE when wretched Scary maze and 2girls1cup thing was making it's rounds oof, 'twas a wild childhood. I vividly remember getting a JTK jumpscare thrown at me in the YT comment section at some point :,) but honestly... the Proxies man,,, core memory unlocked, I read so many creepypasta mansion x reader's on quotev it ain't even funny. THE QUIZZES TOO OMFG.

On another note, it's interesting how nowadays the JTK origin story creepypasta is universally agreed upon to be rlly bad and they talk about how it had bad grammar. The thing is, when I was at the very beginning of my CP phase, I didn't know shit about English, the only thing I had at hand were the translations of the most famous Pasta's and the translators rlly didn't fuck around when it came to grammar and localisation. I honestly think that if the translations hadn't been THAT good, I wouldn't have liked Jeff or the Pastas as much as I did, like these damned translations dragged me into the creepypasta fandom with no mercy. What also didn't help was the Yassification of every pasta in the form of fanart 😔 although some of them were still scary (I once saw a fanart of JTK, with the OG scary image face, smacked on top of an unreasonably well drawn feminine body in a skimpy bikini 💀💀). Honestly though, think I had crush on most Human-leaning creepypastas at some point. Not LJ though, lil me had a Clownphobia and this guy used to scare me shitless 🥲 good times, good times. The funniest thing about crushing on Hoodie and Masky for me though, was that I did not watch Marble Hornets until recently. My view on their personality was solely shaped by the fanfics I read on them agh :,)

Holy shit the edgy AMVs though- I was OBSESSED with them. They really shaped my music taste (linkin park & Melanie Marrinez my beloved <3) I still have some of them (the videos) in a playlist actually. Want a taste of what I was hyperfixating on when I was younger? lol

Also kinda funny how I'm stumped when I have to write essays at school but I can casually drop 200+ words whenever I send an ask too you, like I'm writing a long letter to a friend in ye olden times (Victor would be proud 😔✊)

-Ren'py anon

RENPY ANON ITS BECAUSE UR HAVING FUN!!!

I'm soooo glad I've found someone else who also played quotev quizzes and read those fics 😭 the quizzes were always fun, but it was always one of four. The seven minutes in heaven ;) , Which creepypasta is ur bf?, 24 hours with this character, and what does this character think about you?

WHOOO RENPY NONNIE the seven minutes in heaven quizzes I was taking when I was 10 were NO DAMN JOKE 😭

For most of these quizzes, they were also made my pre teens/teenagers, so the answers were always hella obvious and the characters were hella fanon 💀

I think I was on the internet when the scary maze thing was still a thing, but not as popular? Idk I didn't really care about it. But omg I didn't know what 2 girls and one cup was, and EVERYBODY was freaking out about it.

I looked all over YouTube until I could get a video more than 10 seconds long, and omfg I couldn't believe what my 11 year old eyes saw 💀💀💀 I didn't think it was real because NO WAY THEY WERE DOING THAT NASTY SHIT FR RIGHT???

Unfortunately it probably is real 😰

AND YES THOSE HOT AMVS AND FANART SOLD MEEEEEE

I really hated when people drew the original JTK's face onto normal or attractive stuff. It just killed the vibe for me fam :/

You know, there was always this one song and this one 'JTK tribute' video that I loved watching. It was just those picture slideshow videos, but it had the Super Crazy Psycho Love by Simon Curtis or something.

There was this one specific photo of Jeff with no shirt on. He had abs and was in a pool of blood.

... I was obessed with it. I loved it. I NEEDED IT.

I wasn't even into Jeff though? Like, my mans were LJ and Toby! Maybe Eyeless Jack or the painter guy every now and then, but those two were my favorites.

I vividly remmeber not wanting to be like those crazy Jeff stans and stuck to my own space. Idk why younger me wanted to be different so bad, but yk what good for me for not wanting to be into ultra toxic men.

Not me now though 😎

Idk why its it's such an iconic staple to my childhood and it's honestly a little embarrassing to talk about irl 😭

And yeah, the Jeff story is super flawed. I always thought it was stupid. I watched John Wolf buy and read a bad fanfiction book about Jeff and an OC. My personal taste and John's hatred for him was probably was why I didn't like Jeff in that way 😭

If you dont know who John Wolf is, he's a gaming youtuber :)

I too need to watch marble Hornets. In my pasta phase, I didnt really know them, but I just went along with it. Fanon hoodie was shy and nice, while fanon Masky was mature and calm.

Out of the two, I liked Hoodie more than Masky.

Toby is still my #1

I think it's because I used to tick most of the time when I was younger because my anxiety was so severe, and he was really friendly and loud about everything (I still tick, but not nearly as much thank god. That shit hurt fr)

I also heard they're still uploading? Just little snippets and short videos. It still sounds cool though.

AND OMG YES DROP THAT MF LINK. I didnt listen to Linkin Park, but I did listen to Melanie a whole lot!

#renpy anon #ur so amazing #I LOVE PEOPLE WHO ALSO HAD A PASTA PHASE #The internet kicked our asses #and this was our prize #doing more inernet nonsense #but in a good way this time #Say that u want me #everyday want u want me #every way that u want #me #got me trippping #SUPER PSYCHO LOVE

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baeshijima · 3 years

Text

𝐬𝐭𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐦𝐞𝐫!𝐚𝐥𝐛𝐞𝐝𝐨 𝐛𝐞𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐰𝐡𝐢𝐩𝐩𝐞𝐝 𝐟𝐨𝐫 𝐜𝐡𝐚𝐫𝐚𝐜𝐭𝐞𝐫!𝐲/𝐧

A/N : i have nothing to say other than the fact there will be an excessive amount of twitch slang bc why tf not + just,,, heavy streamer!albedo brainrot ;-;

masterlist

AIGHT

streamer albedo

…

pog—

so before we get into him being whipped for u, let’s go over the type of strimmer mr Kreideprinz is

fun fact that’s his twitch name—

albedo would be the type to do lots of variety streams of different games, but also the occasional art one if he wants to have a chill stream with his chat !!

speaking of chat… they’re an odd mix of wholesome supporters, KAPPA + POGGERS + catJAM (bc he always has some bangers on in the bg like yes u bless our ears my guy) + KEKW + EZ Clap + his own emotes spammers, mr albedo’s very own shrimps (me, ahEm—), and ppl who just appreciate his voice + gameplay

if there’s a troll he just bans them OMEGALUL

omg he has lots of emotes (which he made in some of his art streams so his viewers could choose some) for every scenario but we’ll get into the popular ones in a bit 👁👁

he’s most definitely one of the bigger, well-known streamers but with a smaller group of friends

his discord server has,,, a lot of ppl,,, 70k+ ppl big,,, rip notifs if ur in it ;-;

he has it muted tho 🐥 like, sir, that’s ur server pay the goddamn price smh

wait i forgot to mention this but he has his webcam on when streaming

so u can bet ur chickens that when ppl come to visit his stream bc of whatever category he has on, they stay for his visuals and voice <33

his twt 🤡 mans gets 1k+ likes, rts, comments within the first 5-10 mins

omg he gets soft when he receives sm support from his community 🥺🥺

gifts so many subs when hitting milestones, chat is wholesome or just whenever really HJKSDHKL

also doesn’t swear much unless he gets played by his own game and/or someone is being incredibly annoying <//3

he also just,,, eats on stream

albedo straight up takes his webcam with him to show him cooking if his viewers ask for it

or he just orders food then and there and eats while chatting to everyone or watching youtube with his chat 🥺

nOW ONTO HIM BEING WHIPPED FOR U AS A GENSHIN STREAMER

this AR55 man 👩‍🦯

he can literally produce content from anything

from artifact farming, to spiral abyss, to running around mindlessly, to building characters he would normally never build, to him seeing how high up is considered too high to dive

and everyone eats it up bc it’s albedo <3

also !! he’s the type who includes the story quests in his streams so his reaction and thoughts on everything is just,,, there

now when u were first introduced in the prologue (yes ur one of the ogs + involved in the dvalin fight <33) he blanked and all his viewers could see was u on screen with him staring blankly in the bottom right of the screen

this man straight up saw u in a cutscene for one second and fell in love

his chat went wild omfg

he immediately made an emote for u and that’s his most popular one 😌

but i kid u not, the moment u appeared in that cutscene (one in which he will forever treasure in the crevices of his heart) was the moment he asked this exact question ;

“ so (y/n) banner when? ”

and mihoyo heard his pleas and answered with ur event banner

except it was like,, 4 months later

at least ur finally here tho :’)

now he can have his lil science-y moments with ur voicelines ;-;

yes, ur the chief alchemist but ✨ 𝒅𝒊𝒇𝒇𝒆𝒓𝒆𝒏𝒕 ✨

. . .

shut up

n e who

when he saw the notification from mihoyo’s official forums that u will be a playable character in the new update — along with new characters, region, events & a domain — i shit u not he did a rt, his own tweet, an announcement on the community feature on youtube, and made constant reminders to his viewers on twitch abt how he will be a (y/n) haver no matter what

he even added future (y/n) haver in his twt display name

what a shrimp—

the 1.2 update stream 🐥 he was there waiting for it to go live with like,,, 19k viewers spamming his chat abt predictions and obv ur official release + showcase

and when i say this man fell even more in love while watching ur trailer and character showcase 🥺 he wouldn’t stop smiling or being in awe bc ur just??? so stunning???

mihoyo clearly has a favourite child and it’s u

chat was spamming ur exclusive emote like crazy oml

u can bet it was also flooded with lots of POGs and POGGERS

overall it was a very fun, chaotic stream filled with lots of (y/n) appreciation and love <33

also a very memorable stream for all his viewers bc of the side of albedo they rarely see unless ur involved

the day ur banner was to go live tho 🐥

the streams leading up to the fateful day consisted of him farming ur mats

that’s it

boss runs, local specialties, hero wits, talent books, the mats needed for ur weapon he was inevitably going to pull for (only the best for the best, afterall) and many domain runs

many painful domain runs

all of it was worth it tho bc ur worth everything :’)

an actual quote said by him—

at least he can get u and ur weapon to lvl 90 right off the bat with all the artifacts tailored for u ;-;

and get u to that point he did HJSDKJF

once ur banner dropped? immediately started wishing

2 multis in and he gets u 😣

albedo nearly cried and was the literal embodiment of head in hands

wHEN I SAY HIS CHAT BLEW TF UP AND HIS MODS JOINED IN

modCheck has left the chat

everyone’s rooting for him :’)

pulled for ur weapon and got it in 1 multi

sir give me ur luck pls and ty

but yes he nearly choked on the gASP he let out while chat screamed even more

he blanked for a bit, i won’t lie ;-;

but when he realised this was real, he immediately went to his party set up and put u in

can we all get an f in the chat for his lvl 10 tartaglia 😔💔👊

his chat usually rages at him to build him but if he’s being honest, he cba

ur vl when he put u in the party tho <333

now he’s just spent half an hour running around with u, letting u do ur idle animations (will always be grateful for mihoyo creating u like this), reading ur very limited (for now—) character story and going through ur voicelines

ur morning & about us (when he unlocks it) voiceline >>>>> his heart be running laps rn i swear

eventually he does begin to build u after much admiration on his end and at lvl 1 with lvl 20 artifacts, u already have 1.6k atk 🐥

now after he levels u and ur weapon to lvl 90, u have 2.8k atk 🐥

rip mobs <//3

he now plays u as his main dps 😌

the kit initially designed for u is meant to be more for support?? kinda like the whole ganyu or zhongli debate abt them being a dps or a support/sub dps ;-;

except ur more utility like venti or bennett

and even though the majority said at the beginning (aka, mihoyo, pretty much any other streamer and the larger part of the fanbase) that ur meant for support, he said fuck that and built u as his main dps

and i won’t lie, u do more damage than any of his characters, and ppl who co op with him

ur his pride and joy :’)

he went to take a look at ur consts to see if they were worth the rng suffering and, lo-and-behold,

they were

so now he’s using all his saved primos for u to try and get ur c6 const, along with making ur weapon r5 :’)

his chat gets a free view of him internally suffering when the gold light doesn’t come, and his external suffering when he loses the 50/50

in the end, he decided to whale for u <33

after nearly an hour, he has u to c6 and ur weapon to r5 ;-;

now all he’s been doing the whole stream is running around with u in open world, doing his daily farming, doing more domain and boss runs, exploring the new region (dragonspine) + ur story quest

he’s saving the event quest for another stream bc ✨content✨

in ur quest, he had multiple heart attacks and now has many, many screenshots <3

he now has a zoomed in pic of ur face as his twt pfp <33

okay so i also feel like he’s not all that bothered abt getting characters to friendship level 10 immediately and would rather let it happen through time

but obv ur not any other character *proceeds to debby ryan at u*

even if ur not fit for a particular domain or boss, he still puts u in the party so when collecting the blossom/rewards, u can get the friendship exp ;-;

he just wants ur name card so he can show off okay 🥺

when he lets his viewers pick out the playlist, 98% of the songs are from ur character demo theme

they just know him so well 😩

they also just wanna see the way he smiles when he hears it play but shhhhhh

now he just has his in-game avatar as u, and ur namecard too <33

also his signature is just ;

“ (y/n)’s favourite streamer ”

#genshin impact #genshin impact x reader #genshin impact headcanons #genshin impact imagines #genshin impact scenarios #genshin impact fluff #genshin impact albedo #genshin albedo #albedo #albedo x reader #genshin albedo x reader #genshin impact albedo x reader #albedo headcanons #albedo scenarios #albedo fluff #i will now cry bc i cant talk at him for a week #this is my parting post #streaming dreams

2K notes · View notes

jonnnysuh · 3 years

Text

Dating Yugyeom would include

Dating GOT7 would include | SERIES

Just based off my observations/my perception of him. Obviously I have no idea what dating him would be like but thought it would be fun to do. This is more playful than romantic bc what is romance???

Literally never shutting the fuck up

Having meaningless fights about little things and then going back to normal

Having your own language that makes no sense to everyone else

Laughing til your stomachs hurt and trying to recreate what just happened but laughing again

Roasting each other as a sign of affection

Too many nicknames that have weird origin stories that y’all can’t remember

Both needing to get your ways so you’ll pout until one of you budges

He is such a simp tho

Mocking each other after someone says absolutely anything

Dance battles

saying “YOOOOOOOU” like soulja boi

Resting his chin on your head

BOYBOYBOYBOY ((((you kno like when they yell like a siren)))

“WHY ARE YOU YELLING” “IM JUST HAPPY”

Having to make the hard decisions for him

Not being able to complete a task bc you’re both so annoyingly distracting

Something that should take 30 minutes to finish takes 3 hours instead

Both being confused all the time so you discuss how things should be done and then fight over it

he’ll purposely hide things to make it hard for you

Holding things over your head bc he wants to watch you jump

“You’re a bully” “you’re a bully too” “ya but it’s only okay if I do it”

Saying the same shit at the same time and hitting each other in excitement

He’s funnier than you but you won’t admit it

SENDING VOICE NOTES INSTEAD OF TEXTING AND YALL HAVE SHORT ATTENTION SPANS SO SOMETIMES IF YOU DONT REPLY IN A FEW MINS YOU FORGET WHAT YOURE SUPPOSED TO SAY SO YOU START A NEW CONVERSATION

He has a meme folder and has a meme for every occasion

Bro he’ll MAKE memes using pictures of you

If he doesn’t reply within a few seconds it’s bc he’s trying to find the perfect meme or making one

A never ending game of iMessage connect 4

How he’d annoy you:

Rock Paper Scissors to get out of doing something but even if he loses he’ll refuse for a bit and then do it

Acting shocked even though he knew something you didn’t

acting like he’s listening but really he’s doing something else

making you call him oppa or he’s not listening

Laying on his shoulder during long car rides

He makes a big deal about your birthday and will plan everything to a t

He sucks at surprises though bc you he tells you everything

it’s always either by accident like he slips it in

OR you’re like “tell me” “no” “fine” “OKAY I CAN’T TAKE IT ANYMORE WE’RE GOING ON A TRIP TO PARIS”

Gossiping with him and he hates all the people you hate and then will also bring up something he heard about them

he would tour new places with you on facetime and bother everyone in the process

the facetime photos you guys take are so frightening and confusing to look back on bc there’s so much movement and emotion on your faces

buying you dessert/pastries when you’re sad

LITERALLY LAUGHING FESTS BEFORE BED

IT’S ALWAYS STUPID BRO

BUT Y'ALL WILL CRY LAUGHING TOGETHER EVERY SINGLE TIME

Y'ALL JUST SAY THE STUPIDEST SHIT

“YOU NEED TO WATCH THIS” SHOVING THE PHONE IN THEIR FACE AND IT’S THE DUMBEST FUCKING VIDEO IN THE UNIVERSE BUT WHY ARE YOU BOTH DYING

Every single one of the boys know he’s whipped and he’s embarrassed but also you’re his person so who wins now

he’s literally so thoughtful

he knows all your favourite songs and makes a playlist

flowers and flowers and flowers

he’ll drop anything he can to be with you

will remember your childhood stories better than you

can finish your sentences

messages you every time you post a new picture

“hey this thing made me think of you” text

gets you guys matching chain bracelets/rings

finishes the food you can’t

doing tiktok dances but not posting them bc you’re both embarrassing

but he will start the video literally ANYWHERE.

on the plane? in the parking lot? at a restaurant?

His hand is always on you especially when you’re walking through a crowd

having to ask him to slow down bc you have short legs

Tippytoing to kiss him

innocent flirting that turns dirty really quick

he definitely likes being small spoon

he talks in his sleep

he has the most irrational fears in the world

“THAT TEXTURE IS SOOOO UGLY I CAN’T LOOK AT IT PLEASEEE”

doing something cute and HE’S JUST SO EASILY LIKE “I LOVE YOU”

always wants to slow dance with you to any song just so he can hold you and lead

he’ll whisper in your ear just to get you hot like fuck offffffffff

his skincare routine takes soo long to do he’ll be in the washroom for 30 minutes

“You’re such a kid”

“Are you a baby?” “YA YOUR BABY”

One of you will start singing and the other joins in but the boys are like shut the fuck uppppp

I feel like he’d like to play wrestle bc this man chooses violence every single time

he can do a perfect impression of you

both of you will up the cheesiness when u notice that it’s making everyone else cringe just to make them cringe more

be prepared to kill the spiders

also be prepared to watch scary movies with the lights on bc he is spooked!

Always saying “woooow” sarcastically when someone does something unimpressive

he is an attention whore so when you’re ignoring him he will do cartwheels🤸🏻‍♀️ and try to be funny

making him blush is so easy it’s like a superpower he just gets flustered

Making a bad decision and saying “yolo ✌️😗”

190 notes · View notes

hacked-by-jake · 3 years

Text

New Life

Summary: Finally you will move to Duskwood and start a new life. A moving with the help of the chaotic Duskwood Squad and a shamed hacker with the wrong moving box, can it be more beautiful?

Pairing: Group & Fem!MC x Jake

Words: 4,4 k

A/n: Welcome to this OneShot. After a long time something of my own. I dreamed about it and so the idea came. So I hope you’ll like it and have fun. Excuse the mistakes etc etc etc.

Take care and stay healthy! Much love.❤️

4 a.m.

"Shit" you hiss annoyed and look at the stain of coffee on the floor, which was sweped in your haste over the edge of the cup, "My poor coffee".

Because of sorrow you forgot again why you even walked to the door.

You want to make your way to get a cloth when it rings again, "Oh right" you shake your head over your forgetfulness. It’s just too early for you.

Quickly you open the door to your apartment and look in two radiant faces belonging to Dan and Richy, your heroes of the day.

"Good morning" both say at the same time and you would just like to crawl back into bed.

"Good morning guys, come in. Careful not to step on the coffee, he did not deserve it"

Hectically you put your cup next to the door on the small dresser to go to the kitchen and get something to wipe away.

"Why are you in such a hurry?" Dan asks you as you come back with quick steps.

"You look tired, haven’t you slept?" Richy asks, grinning, you shake your head.

"Only about half an hour and that was an accident. I didn’t want to sleep," you explain.

"Why?" Richy looks around the almost empty apartment. All that’s left are only the biggest furniture you’ll be taking with you and a lot of moving boxes.

"I had to pack so much stuff and besides I was really excited. Do any of you want coffee? I made more, and I left two more cups outside." You’re offering.

The eyes of both men grow big,"I certainly don’t say no to coffee," Richy jokes and follows you into the kitchen.

"Just take what you need. I still have to pack the rest of my clothes and the stuff from the bathroom" You already ran off only to then make a 180 degree turn, "My cup" you mumble and grab it.

"MC, let’s take it easy, we have all the time in the world," Dan rebukes you and you sighing.

"I’m sorry, I’m probably more excited than I thought," you apologize and drop into the chair at your kitchen table.

"This is normal. You don’t move to a completely strange and creepy city every day," Richy throws in and immediately gets a nasty look from Dan.

"Are you serious?" he asks, "You’re not making it better!"

Richy looks embarrassed in your a little desperate face, "But for that, this will be the coolest time of your life!" he tries to save the situation, "Hey, think about it, the Duskwood Squad is finally completely united in a few hours!"

The prospect of the time you are about to be with your friends, and that always without having to go home, also makes you smile like the two men

"But it’s about time, Shorty, we miss you at our place.

A visit every few months is simply not enough, or just for one night over the weekend. You should have seen the girls the last days, there was no rest"

Dan finds just the right words to calm you down. You’ve waited so long to move to Duskwood, and now it’s finally time. A new phase in your life with a group of good friends that you met during a worst-case similar situation.

Since then, there hasn’t been a day when you haven’t written or spoken on the phone. You’ve played so much Doodle Splash to pass the time for your next visit that you feel like you’ve painted more than Picasso ever did

"You are right! " you agree resolutely, "time for the best time of my life! "

-------------------------------------

"I actually thought you had a few less things," Richy stands breathless in your apartment door. Of course, the big things, like your couch, your bed and your desk, were brought into the truck first which Richy borrowed from a friend company for removals.

And now for about 20 minutes you’ve been carrying one box after the other downwards to store it. In between, even one of your neighbors came to help, who actually wanted to go to work but still had a few minutes.

"That’s because the boxes are too small," you joke, and Richy looks at you with a look that clearly says 'You don’t believe that yourself'.

Defending you raise your hands and push with your foot another box over to him, which he can bring down.

About 10 minutes later, in which you had to take out all the boxes again, and put them back in, you put down the last box in your hallway. Behind you, Dan and Richy come up the stairs as you pull the little key to your former apartment out of your pocket and sigh.

"Finish!" Richy cheers and puts an arm around your shoulders, "Are you ready?" Dan asks you and you nod. A little sad, you put the key in the keyhole one last time and lock up.

Dan takes the last box from you and you go down the stairs together. You throw the key into the mailbox as agreed with your landlord and turn around one last time.

Determined not to be sad or rather melancholic, you climb forward into the truck behind Richy while Dan closes the big cargo hatch.

He himself gets into the driver’s seat.

"Let’s go into your new life" he announces solemnly as he starts the engine.

"Into a new life"

-----------------------------------------

"I wanna be the very best!

Like no one ever was!

To catch them is my real test

To train them is my cause" you all shout the theme music of Pokémon.

Richy has turned on his playlist where all the songs you can only imagine are. You’ve been driving for about an hour and a half.

"POKÉMON!" Richy screams and throws his hand into the air.

"Don’t shout!" Dan grumbles and gives him a annoyed look, "You just screamed too!" the mechanic defends himself and twists his eyes. "I need another coffee, I’m driving to the next rest stop, otherwise I won’t make it for the next two hours," says Dan and you agree.

At the gas station you get yourself a new coffee and a snack. Actually 3 hours are not so much driving, but with the grumpy Dan and the lively Richy, who are two clowns at the same time, it can be exhausting.

After you get back to the truck, and this time Richy drives on, you actually managed to fall asleep after half an hour.

-----------------------------------------

"Wake up, Shorty" you hear the voice of the bearded man far away, "We are almost there," he explains and you open your eyes. You need a short moment to realize where you are and what’s going on, but then you straighten up. Your head was lying on Dan’s shoulder.

"Sorry" you mumble and stretch as much as possible with so little space." It’s fine. I almost slept myself" he waves off and you just nod. No wonder, the two boys also left at 1 a.m., to be with you in time.

In fact, you can already see that you will reach the entrance of Duskwood in about 5 minutes. You’ve been driving this way so many times, you know the way around, like in your own hometown.

"I’m so glad I don’t have to drive any further," Richy whines and drums with his fingers on the steering wheel to the beat of the song that sounds quietly from the radio.

"When the truck is empty, you have to bring it back" Dan reminds him. Without going into the mocking comment, the mechanic turns the radio a little louder.

When the sign 'Welcome to Duskwood' appears in your sight, you start to grin broadly. Nervously you slide back and forth on the seat and bite your lower lip.

Richy crosses the border into the small town with secrets you still have learned to love.

"Welcome to Duskwood" Richy congratulates you and you happily clap your hands.

Welcome new life.

-------------------------------------

When you turn into the street where your apartment is, very close to Jessy’s, you almost jump up from your seat. Just the seatbelt holds you back when you see the rest of the group standing outside the door: Jessy, Cleo, Thomas, Lilly and Hannah.

All 5 wave wildly and Richy pushes twice on the horn to greet. As far as the side of the road goes, Richy stops the truck and you quickly unbuckle yourself. You rip the door, and without using the stairs, you jump out of the car, "Leave the door where it belongs!" you hear Richy shout, but you’ve been on your way down for a long time.

"Hello" calls all of you in a choir as a tight and not quite gentle hug with the 4 girls takes place. All at the same time you fall into each other’s arms. Compliments are exchanged and joy about the move announced.

"You pretend you haven’t seen each other for four years!" you hear Richy laugh and roll his eyes. "That’s how it feels," Hannah chuckles next to you.

"Hello MC" Thomas shouts amused and you stretch an arm in the air and waves in an indefinite direction, "Hello Thomas, I don’t know where you stand but HI!"

After you finally broke up from each other, Hannah holds out your new front door key that she kept for you. She was the one who looked for apartments for you on the spot when you couldn’t be here. She took over the visits and took pictures. If it was possible, she took you with her through a video call.

"Congratulations MC, welcome to the family" she smiles.

"Thank you folks, it’s so nice to finally be here!"

-------------------------------------

After you have arrived correctly and you have looked at your apartment once again in empty state, you have started to bring everything into the apartment. Now, of course, things are moving much faster with more people.

You’ve built up in the stairwell to the second floor: Dan, Richy, Thomas, Cleo, Lilly, Jessy, Hannah and you.

In a row your carton reaches from person to person and quickly most of it is done. From your apartment comes music that you run via a Bluetooth speaker. Fortunately, you have labeled everything so that after all the boxes are in your apartment, you only have to push them into the right rooms. And then the big things come.

The three of them, Thomas Richy and Dan carry the sofa upstairs.

You just stand by with a slightly nervous face and hope no one gets hurt.

"You have to be careful! The sofa is tipping!" Dan shouts loudly as Richy tries another handle.

"I know! But I don’t want this thing to fall on my foot," Richy hisses. Thomas, who supports the side, only twists his eyes.

-------------------------------------

All the important parts are now in your apartment. Now, the truck is empty and ready to be brought back.

"Okay, I’ll bring the truck away, and you start here. I’ll come back when you’re done and I can get the beer I earned," Richy jokes as he takes the key off the kitchen table.

"You get nothing" you call laughing after him, "Oh wait until the man Without Face learns of your sin. To deny a working man his beer is bad!"

Laughing, you shake your head, "I’m waiting for the next new moon."

"How can you always joke about it?" Jessy asks without understanding.

"Well, that’s just relief," you explain and smile at her calmly.

-------------------------------------

4 hours, a lot of laughter, bad jokes, quarrels and almost broken furniture later, the most important is on the right place. The bed is built up and ready for the first night in the new apartment, in your new life.

"How’s your thumb, Richy?" Ask the sulking mechanic carefully.

"All right, I can take a lot, I’ll survive," he calms you down and presses the cooling pad more firmly on his finger.

A lot went wrong trying to build your wardrobe. Someone had forgotten a screw when the ceiling was mounted.

The moment Richy tried to hit a nail with a hammer in the lower area, the ceiling came loose and fell down.

Both side walls of the cabinet fell into each other, and Richy accidentally punched hit his thumb. For a few seconds you were all just staring at each other and then laughing. Fortunately, Richy’s injury wasn’t that bad, but you gave him something to cool down with.

And now almost everything is ready. There are only a few boxes missing, but you will take over yourself." Thanks for your great help, guys! Many thanks to Richy and Dan who picked me up and drove so long. And of course, thank you all so much for helping me here!"

You’re all sitting around the table in your living room. You’re sitting next to Jessy on the floor while everyone else is comfortable on the sofa and armchair.

"And again, for the thousandth time today; Welcome to Duskwood MC" Hannah cheers and keeps her beer up. All together you toast.

"I’m so tired," Dan mutters, sipping his drink." Oh yes, so am I," joins Richy and you nod.

"But it was worth it" Lilly smiles and looks around, "And as soon as it’s done, it can only be great!"

"Perfect!" Hannah improves her sister.

"Indescribable" agrees Jessy.

-------------------------------------

"See you guys tomorrow!" you call after the group and close the door.

Just a short and quiet moment you close your eyes exhausted. Preferably you just want to go to bed, but first you still want to unpack a little more.

The sound that tells you that you have received a message pulls you out of your mind.

You pull out your phone and smile when you see that it is Jake who wrote to you.

Jake: Hello, MC.

Jake: How did the move go?

MC: Hi, Jake. Pretty good, I’d say, exhausting and stressful, but good.

Jake: Have you finished?

MC: No, not quite, I do the rest myself, the others have done enough.

Jake: Do you like the apartment?

You grin, he has improved his skills for small talk since you met and Hannah return.

MC: Yes, it’s really nice, do you want to come? You can look around.

Hopeful you stare at the screen. It would be really nice to see Jake today.

What this is between you, you don’t know for sure, sometimes it goes ahead and sometimes back. You’ve seen each other a few times since Hannah was rescued. Mostly here in Duskwood.

After a difficult time between the three siblings and still the problem with Jake’s pursuers, everything has improved.

However he did it, he managed to turn all the tracks that linked him to the suspicion so that they no longer point to him. He is still very careful and occasionally travels from town to town for a few weeks but most of the time he is in Duskwood. This is where you first met.

After the first conversation between Hannah, Lilly and Jake and a lot of explanations, the hacker decided to take an apartment here to catch up the time with his sisters. Since then, he has also become a little more open and better in interpersonal relationships.

At some point he was in the vicinity of your old place of residence and then it happened that you have a day to drink coffee. And the next day in your apartment. The beginnings were sometimes a little difficult because of him because he really didn’t talk much, but after some time it became really nice. There was even a kiss. Your first kiss together.

It was on your balcony and it was at night, under the stars. But since then, not much exciting has happened, unfortunately.

Jake: I think I’d just bother you unpacking.

MC: Bullshit, of course not, I could use a little quieter company after the whole group was there :)

Jake: Don’t you want to go to sleep soon? You must be tired.

MC: Jake, don’t make excuses, if you don’t want to, you can just say no, that’s not bad for me. But I promise I’d be happy if you were here.

You watch him start writing and then delete the message.

Jake: I’m on my way :)

Without answering his message, you close your phone and stare at the bare wall facing you for seconds.

Then you can’t stop yourself from doing a little joy dance, "Yess!" you hisses and grins all over your face.

Jake won’t be long before he gets here, so you decide to clean up the empty bottles and candy that are still on the table.

Although it’s only about 10 minutes to wait, it feels like a half an eternity until it finally rings.

Before you open the door, shake all your limbs to loosen up and clear your throat.

Then you open the door.

The hacker, dressed in black as always, stands with a slight smile in your hallway, "Hello MC" he greets you with his melodic voice.

Immediately you get very warm and you try to keep your own smile small, "Hi Jake. Come in" you walk to the side to let him in.

Jake actually knows your apartment already.

Officially, you don’t know anything about this. But off the record, Hannah told you.

You couldn’t handle the handover of the apartment yourself, so Hannah did it for you, and Jake was with her. He had only told her that he was bored and wanted to come along, but when he looked around and said some things like, "MC has enough space here" and "This will be a good place for her" she realized that he just came to make sure the place was nice enough for you.

Nevertheless, he now curiously lets his gaze wander through the now filled apartment.

"When it is done, it will look really nice" he confirms after you have shown him everything, as well as explained the room layout.

"Yes, I think so," you agree and smile.

"What are you going to do next?" he asks, pointing to the boxes in which your clothes are still to be cleared into the closet.

"That’s exactly what" you answer and kick one of the boxes, "You can sit on the bed if you want, while I unpack," you are proposing and tear the tape off the cardboard.

"I can help you if you don’t mind," he offers and you nod, "Sure, if you want"

Cleaning up with the group was really fun, but now with Jake, it’s beautiful. The atmosphere is calm, not stressful or a mess. You talk about everything that comes to mind while Jake keeps holding clothes in front of your face so you can tell him where it belongs.

Two boxes are already empty. In your second one there is still a little bit inside and Jake is also on his way to get a new one. You watch him as he opens the box, only to close it again immediately afterwards. His cheeks turn pure red and his eyes squint nervously at you, "Uhm, I think I’ll take the box first" he mumbles and you can hear the trembling in his voice only too well.

"Why? What’s going on?" you wonder about his reaction.

"Nothing at all, everything okay, here’s another one" he scratches nervously in the neck and does not look at you when talking.

Skeptically you walk over to the box to take a look inside. When you open it, you quickly realize the reason for his shamed behavior.

Your underwear. You decide not to say anything to make it even more unpleasant for him, but you cannot hide the smile on your lips.

For the next few minutes, it’s quiet until it rings at your door. You look at your watch in wonder. It’s just before 9, and you’re not expecting anyone today.

"Be right back," you inform Jake, "And keep your hands off my underwear," as you disappear out the door, you can see him raising his head in a flash, staring at you with big eyes. Laughing you open the door, "Phil?" you ask surprised when you see Jessy’s brother standing there. Phil has also become a good friend of yours, you visited Aurora as a group several times when you were here.

"Hi MC" he greets you, "I hope I’m not interrupting? I actually have to leave right away again, the Aurora is crowded today.I just wanted to stop by and greet you in Duskwood and congratulate you on your move" he smiles his typical charming smile as you hug briefly, "Thanks Phil" you nod grateful. He separates from you and then does not joyfully pull up an eyebrow, he looks behind you and you turn around as well. Jake is standing in the living room and has the same annoyed look as Phil on his face.

"Have fun, you two," Phil grins a little cocky and puts his arms around you again, just quick.

As he disappears down the stairs, he still calls, "We have to do something together in the next few days."

You slowly close the door and turn around with a wide grin to Jake, who still looks dark at the door. Yeah, that Phil and Jake don’t like each other hasn’t changed. On the contrary.

Jake finds Phil is the most unsympathetic person in the world, and Phil thinks he’s better for you than Jake is.

When Jake frees himself from his rigidity, his attention falls on you. You bite your lower lips and put a hand in front your mouth to stop your next words. Even the hacker seems to know what is going on and looks warn, "Don’t say it"

Innocently you raise your eyebrows, "What? I don’t know what you mean, do you mean? -"

"Stop" Jake stops you and heads back to the bedroom.

"What? Shouldn’t I say that you-"

"MC" he threatens.

"Are you jealous?" it bursts out of you and groaning Jake drops his head in the neck, "You really need to say this, don’t you?"

-------------------------------------

After you keep teasing Jake with it, you decided to stop for today. You two ordered a pizza and a drink, because you don’t have much here, except for the beer Hannah bought.

You had the TV running quietly but didn’t pay attention to it. Jake asked you what your wishes and hopes are in for your new life, and you talked about the time with the Man Without a Face. Until now, you’ve only talked to him about it. Just a little bit with Hannah but somehow you’re still not ready to deal with all this. The occasional jokes about it will help you soothe your thoughts a little.

During your conversation, you accidentally fell asleep. The hacker didn’t know what to do, he doesn’t want to wake you, but he also doesn’t want to leave without saying anything. After watching you for 20 minutes and thinking about your relationship, he felt weird just looking at you while you're sleeping. So he decided to leave.

However, you seem to have noticed this immediately because the moment he opens the door, your eyes open.

"Wait" you stop him and he looks at you frightened, "If you leave now while I sleep, then I feel like I was a one night stand," you joke and and he grins.

"You’re much more than that," he replies quietly. You raising your upper body, and a little shy, stroking the fluffy pillow on your couch.

"Can you.. can you stay, Jake?" Your voice is quiet, tired and a little nervous, "I feel uncomfortable being here alone the first night," you admit. You had this feeling the first time while you built up the bed. Even though the Man without a face is in prison and you’re safe, you still have this unpleasant ulterior motive.

He seems to think about, but without you telling him, he understands what you’re worried about.

"All right" he sighs and closes the door again.

"You can sleep in the bed, I’ll take the couch," you say and get up to get a blanket and a pillow.

"No, the other way around. You should sleep in your bed, your day was exhausting and you need to rest"

Before this discussion can be extended, you decide to make a short process, "Okay, you have two options now. Either you sleep with me in bed, or we both sleep on the couch. 'Cause I’m not gonna ask you to stay here for me, and then let you sleep there!"

The hacker stops briefly, turns slightly red but then grins, "I don’t have a chance anyway, do I?" he asks.

You shake your head, "Not without a war"

-------------------------------------

Luckily, you are in possession of a much too large sweatpants which fits him only narrowly, but fits.

The room is dark and it is completely quiet in the whole apartment. You try to be inconspicuous, and slide a bit towards him. You know he’s not asleep yet, and when he doesn’t try to stop you, you get a whole lot closer.

You hear Jake lifting the blanket, the invitation to come to him entirely.You don’t take your time but slide so close that you can put your head on his chest and he puts an arm around you. Immediately its beautiful smell envelops you and your pulse accelerates many times. Even his heart you hear racing what makes you smile.

"Do you know how many times I dreamed about it?" he whispers into the darkness and your heart makes a leap, "No, but if it was only half as often as I did, then I can imagine it," you answer and a quiet laugh vibrates in his chest.

"Good night, MC, see you tomorrow"

"Good night, Jake," you whisper, and then you feel his lips flapping softly over your forehead, just a touch, like a breeze. But for you, it means the world.

Welcome new life, you mean well with me.

❤️🎭🌹

Masterlist

#duskwood #duskwood jake #duskwood mc #duskwood jake x mc #duskwood fanfiction #duskwood group #everbyte #everbyte studios

156 notes · View notes

seraphdarlimg · 3 years

Text

wish I were (pt4)

harry calls reader drunk to pick him up, later on finding him sat at her piano and playing a little song

masterlist

‘heather’ by conan gray WARNINGS - ANGST, swearing, fluff WORD COUNT - 4,418

_________________________________________________________

Just fine is how I was feeling. I was lucky enough to be able to get started straight away with a new song to work on from a different artist. Practicing new instruments and talking to new clients have been what I've thrown myself into for the past 3 weeks.

Though drowning myself into work has kept me busy and given me excuses to ignore the hundreds of calls and texts from Harry, it felt like months had pass instead of only one. I seem to forget more about them and only remember the look on his face when I turn my back on him and left. Instead of memorizing chords and words, my brain can only comprehend the words we said and the last time I felt his touch or embrace. When I want to remind myself of what he did, the moment on the balcony is the first thing that comes to my mind and I curse myself for it.

I missed him, of course I did. As I sit in front of my laptop with an opened tab on a recording program, I am instead met with another creator's block and thinking about Harry again. Two points of thought that I hate being stuck in at the moment. The empty bags and containers of snacks and my dinner surround me and I'm wrapped in a blanket while a sad playlist is playing on spotify. It was a depressing sight.

But I can only image the state that Harry's in. After everything, I still miss and care about him, wondering if he's excited about the album release tomorrow or if he's hydrated and taking the fact that I've chose to walk out of his life better than I am. It's pathetic really, but it's part of it and I can only hope to learn to live without him through time. If that is something I can even think of doing in the first place.

He hasn't called or text throughout the whole day though. I didn't want it to bother me but it did, even if it was time away that I'm asking for. I glanced at the black screen of my phone, pressing the button to turn it on. 12:23 AM and no notifications.

'i do love you, i'm sorry' one day ago. This is a good sign. This should be a good sign.

I sighed, forcing myself to turn away from my phone and focus on finishing this piece. The instrumentals are there and the rhythm is set, but coming up with lyrics prove to be difficult when I feel physically and emotionally drained.

It was late anyways. I would of been asleep by now to get ready for tomorrow, but it was most likely made clear I wouldn't be celebrating with the gang. I told Jeff the excuse that I had a meeting up north for the valid reason, even though everyone already knows what happened between the two best friends. A lunch with Sara and Mitch a week ago started off normal and pleasant as always, but had ended with Mitch bringing up Harry and me leaving abruptly.

"He's a mess. Hasn't left his house and has been ignoring everyone all week. We don't know what really happened between you two, but it's obvious that you haven't been the same as well."

The mention was enough to irk me. "Can we not right now?"

"Look even though we care about you, it's still non of our business to get involved. But it's still our jobs to see that when someone we care about is bothered by something, we make sure they are aware of it. Both of you aren't happy and should simply talk about it."

"It's not that simple Sara, he's too stubborn."

"It doesn't have to be now, but eventually. You yourself know that what you two have is way too special to just walk away from."

"Yeah well what if it's not? What if it's just not what everyone expects it to be? That even if we somehow make it work throughout everything, he's just going to run off to someone else again who'll just be better in so many ways."

"He's not the type of person to do that and you know it."

"I thought I did."

With my head rested on my hand, I feel my eyes droop. The instrumental of the song played on repeat on the program as I try to come up with words. Heartbreak and insecurities are the only topics that come to mind with the upbeat sound. I close my eyes for bit, letting the first stage of sleep take it's toll while my brain works overtime producing lines of rhymes.

But my ringtone drives me out of it. I only force my eyes open when I pick up my phone and answer the call, not thinking of who could be the only possible human being to call me at this hour. I sighed, pausing the recording and saving it. "Hello?"

"Hiiiii love! Karl told me I should call someone because I've had too much apparently. Can you please tell him that I'm a grown man that can handle my alcohol?" Shit.

"Harry- wait hold on, you're drunk now? Don't you have... who are you with?" My voice was tired and already raspy. It took longer than needed to process what was actually happening.

"Oh just all by my lonesome self at first... imagined you here a few times but I know that wasn't true, but Karl the bartender is here now!" His voice was muffled and almost drowned out by the sound of a pub. His words were slurred and I can only rub my temples at the situation he's already put me in.

"Why did you call me for this."

"Well my phone's dead and you're the number I memorized." He said softly after hearing my tone. I shouldn't, but he's drunk and alone.

"I'll call Mitch-"

"Only want you. Please?" I can imagine him pouting and I was too tired to argue with him.

"I can't do this right now..."

"Bubs, my head is starting to hurt and everyone is not being nice. Except Karl, Karl is a nice dude."

Maybe if I wasn't overworked and sleep deprived at the moment, I would of been in the righter state of mind. But the other half of me that worried about his state took the opportunity to see him once again.

"Where are you, Harry?"

***

It was easy to find a drunk Harry Styles at a pub. A small local one that we've been too once or twice in the past, enjoying each other's company over a glass after studio hours. And there he was again, sat at the stools we'd sit on and wallowing to Karl the bartender.

"Hey." I placed a hand on his shoulder after making my way through the small crowd that gathered around him that's been listening into his conversation. His eyes light up when he turns around and sees me, while I take in how disheveled he looks. His curls are messy and his bloodshot baggy eyes tells me he's been crying for a while.

"You're here." He mutters softly after he takes a moment to register that it's actually me. I only give him a small nod in confirmation, feeling that heart ache as he pulls me into a hug. "I'm sorry." I hear when he nuzzles into my neck, most likely apologizing when he sees how tired and unwell i am as he does.

"It's okay, come on let's get you home." I managed to let out, pulling away, guiding him out of his seat and away from the bar. "Oh okay, bye Karl! Keep the change." I send the bartender a grateful smile to which he returns with a pity look on his face.

"Just hold my hand Harry okay?" I tell him when I remember how clingy he gets when intoxicated. He doesn't hesitate to do so as we make our way through the crowd and out of the building.

I managed to get him in the passenger's seat without much interaction, now in the driver's seat and cursing at myself when I realized I didn't have enough gas to take him to his house. I didn't have the energy to go to the gas station this late.

"Are you crying..." He asks, pouting when I placed my face in my hands, taking deep breaths. "Please don't be sad, love." I shook my head, counting in my head as I felt Harry lean over and watch me.

"How many did you have?" I asked when I built up the will not to cry and turned on the ignition.

"Didn't bother counting, didn't matter." I kept my eyes in front of me as I drove while I felt his still on me.

"I would beg to differ. Shouldn't be my responsibility anyways." I quickly countered, noting the sharp tone in my voice and the frown I could imagine on his face.

"I'm sorry...I really wanted to see you."

"Hmm, and getting wasted and being an inconvenience is the way to get my attention." There was a second of silence and I glanced at him to check if he was still conscious, only to see that frown and his head hung in shame. My eyes trailed to the pearl necklace tucked into his sweater, as well as a yellow ribbon tied where it clasps together.

The grip I had on the wheel loosened but I sighed as I hated how guilty I felt after, aware how difficult it was to be mad when he was hurt. "That was harsh..."

"Nooo, I deserve it. I really do because I was mean to you and I don't ever want to be mean to you. Because it hurts me too ya know? More than it did when you walked away...I'm sorry that I hurt you."

I didn't say anything after that, spending the rest of the car ride back to my place in silence.

***

"You don't have to be rich, to be my giiirl. You don't have to be cool to rule my wooorld..."

My annoyance conflicted with the flutters my heart was feeling as Harry was softly singing all the way from my car to my sofa, hand held and clinging to my side the whole time. He plopped down, immediately taking a pillow. "Ain't no particular sign, I'm more compatible wiiith- hey you have that record right? Can you put it on pretty please?"

"It's 2AM, I'm not putting on a record right now." I took off my shoes and coat, graciously doing the same for him when he pouts and rests his head back on the couch. "Aw, you used to not care about that before. Is it because of your neighbors terrible taste of music to blast so late at night?"

"What?" I rubbed my eyes, standing up and going to the kitchen. I couldn't hear his mumbled response, but I returned with a glass of water to see him humming with his eyes closed. He cuddled the pillow close to him and I rolled my eyes, almost laughing at how he was tapping his foot along with the song he was playing in his head.

"Here..." He holds his hand out expectantly and I gave it to him. He takes a drink while I place his coat over the coffee table and go to get him an extra pillow and blanket.

"Oh everything hurts." He whines as I place the pillow down on the end of the couch. "My heart mostly, but that's so cheesy of me isn't it? Yours probably hurts more m' sorry...wish I could take it away."

It wasn't just his naïve words that had my eyes start welling up with tears, but it was also the realization of how he can easily break me down. I couldn't last a whole month without being there when he needs someone, when I was the one who wanted to leave. It was also probably the realization that I had grabbed the same blanket we used to set that little picnic in the studio.

"Wish I didn't cause it in the first place." He added, which led to me sitting down on the chair next to the couch, holding onto the blanket a little longer as delirium was starting to set in.

"I don't think we should have this conversation now, Harry... this is so unfair." I mumbled, rubbing my eyes.

"It is, but I'm scared I won't get another chance." My silence gave him the answer he was already aware of.

"What exactly do you want another chance of Harry, enlighten me." I closed my eyes for a minute, only to open them to see Harry looking at me in a different way. It's different, but I've noticed it before.

"Loving you." He's hesitant with his next words, most likely having sobered up a little. "I hadn't seen Heather for a few days after you left, told her later on about what happened. Took your advice though, talked to her and everything. It just wouldn't work out in the end...couldn't see myself with her in the future."

"But now you do with me?" I softly muttered, holding myself back from reaching out to him. He only nods, having that guilty look on his face because he's fully aware he doesn't deserve it. My droopy eyes are glued to his and that damn pearl necklace, too many thoughts in my head to come up with one whole response.

"Should of just called Mitch. You're an idiot for giving yourself a hangover on your release day." I finally said after a moment of silence.

"Hmm? Oh that, no that's not happening." He says casually, playing with the embroidery on the pillow he was hugging.

"What do you mean?"

"I've postponed the album thingy indefinitely or something."

"Aren't you finished with it?"

"I mean it's got 12 songs and everything but I don't know if it's really finished, I don't know." He shrugs and I'm almost annoyed by how calm nonchalant he is about it.

"You never know things Harry."

"And I hate it, I knooow! I don't know why I can't just figure it out and I hate that I'm hurting you because of it." He frowns, rubbing his eyes. "But I do know now that I love you. Really love you. Maybe if I figured that out sooner, you wouldn't hate me bubs."

I fiddle with my fingers, given up on trying to collect all my thoughts together a long time ago as I can only allow myself to take in his words and listen. He was right, in any other situation where I wasn't tired and delirious, I probably wouldn't even be in the same room as him. So here I was again, allowing myself to hurt in order to make sure he's taken care of.

Maybe it's what I deserve though. He left Heather because of me. I caved into myself at the though that I ruined the relationship of two people who loved each other simply because I didn't get the memo. She is everything in his eyes, he's proven that, so why didn't I just leave them be?

"Ugh, you probably hate me calling you that now but you know I won't stop cause you are my bubs! Like how I'm you're H. Oh... well, you stopped calling me that so...maybe not anymore but I want to be. Can I be your H again please, I miss that too." My thoughts were cut off when he continued, finding him now lying down with his eyes closed.

"Maybe one day." I reassured him hesitantly. We would of stayed friends, we wouldn't of had to fall apart, if I had just left him alone.

"Was a weird nickname anyways, just a letter." He mumbles as I stood up, laying the blanket over him while he still holds onto the pillow.

"You sort of gave it to yourself though, get some sleep Harry." I managed to get out, facing away from him to hide the tear that fell. He should be trying to fix his relationship with her and not me.

"Yeah, but you just started calling me it and I fell in love with it." I take one more look at him before I shut my door, seeing his face nuzzled into the pillow and the glint of a small smile on his face as he drifts off to sleep.

***

8:23. I slept around 2 and woke up 7 hours later to faint piano keys. I took in the soft melody, not recognizing it but enjoying it for a second before I forced myself to sit up and rub my eyes, realizing how dry my skin was from crying. It was definitely a sad song made up of only four chords and a fitting way to start the day as I remember the person who is most likely playing it.

I didn't want to face him, my head feeling too mushed to deal with anything else other than work. It was a weird situation to realize, the man I fell in love with and broke my heart is playing piano after I took him in when he was drunk. He tells me he officially breaks up with Heather after realizing he loves me.

He loves me?

No he doesn't. He should still love her, should be trying to get back to her now that I'm out of the picture. But he hasn't been trying too for the past month, focused on me this whole time. But why?

I snapped myself out of those thoughts quickly, knowing how terrible the following ones would be. I didn't want to think about it anymore, wanting to forget and move on. And as I quietly open my door and peaked out onto my apartment, I see his mess of curls sat on my keyboard with the blanket wrapped around him. He was considerate enough to lower the volume at least.

I took a deep breath and walked out quietly, leaning against the door frame as I continue to listen. "Part of the album, has some of your lyrics in it." He says when he notices my presence.

"Hmm. You told me that you've postponed it." I crossed my arms as he finishes the song with a long note. I see him nod, now looking down at his hands on his lap before adjusting the blanket to fully encase him.

"Yeah I did. It didn't feel right, putting something out there that I should be proud of, but you not being there to be happy with. You not wanting too in there first place, when you put your heart and soul into it, all because of me."

I frown, looking away from him when his intense eyes met mine. "It's too early Harry..."

"You told me it wasn't a good time last night too, so when is?" He huffs and I roll my eyes.

"I don't know after I have my fucking coffee?" I scoffed, uncrossing my arms and heading towards the kitchen. I hear him sigh, not saying anything else as I prepare a cup for myself, already annoyed and stressed out. I felt him staring at me while I avoided making eye contact, rubbing my temples.

"I'm sorry if I was trouble." He says, still sat down on the keyboard with the blanket wrapped around him.

"You're sorry for a lot of things." I sighed, pouring coffee into my cup.

"I am. But I don't know how to really apologize to you when you won't even let me talk to you."

I placed my cup down, suddenly forgetting about my coffee and finally looked at him. "Well what do you expect Harry? After everything you think I'm just going to trust you again? I told you I was done, I wanted to walk out of your life."

"But you picked me up. You still care, that still has to means something." He's frustrated now, desperate even and it only frustrates me more.

"Ah yes, decent morality to not leave an A list celebrity drunk in room full of strangers. That really dumb of you to do by the way, without any bodygaurds- what were you thinking?" I said, noticing how he was fiddling with the pearls that hung around his neck.

"The past month has been hell for me and all I wanted to do was see you. I feel so fucking guilty and sad and it's eating me up because I know I don't deserve any sort of reassurance from you. But at the same time, I so badly just want you back and I'm sorry for how selfish and arrogant I am." He was crying and I soften a little because of it. He tries holding it in, looking down as he quickly wipes away the tears that fall. I don't bother hiding mine anymore, having gotten used to it by now and I was tired of it.

"I've been in pain since December. Four months that you put me through so can blame me when I just want it to stop? I am so exhausted because no matter how much I throw myself into work, all I can think about is you and loving you."

"But I love you too, shouldn't that be enough to try again?" It should of been and he knows. Maybe if he realized it sooner, during his birthday, things would be different.

"You've proven that it's not." I say disappointingly, willing myself to walk over and sat down next to him, looking ahead at my piano in front of me. "I don't know what to do anymore Harry. Why can't you let me have this? Let me move on."

"Cause you and I both know we can't leave each other, too emotionally attached. I need you in my life bubs, everything sucks when you're not in it." I laugh a little at that, because it was true in a fucked up way.

"That's so unfair, why did you have to hurt me?" I hesitantly lay my head on his shoulder before he droops the other end of the blanket around me.

"I know most of my relationships don't last. Deep down I've always loved you but I couldn't let myself fall for you because I didn't want to ruin us. The thought of us breaking up and never seeing each other again just terrified me because I never wanted to lose you, ever. But I fucked up and managed to do so anyways, and I hate myself every day as much as you do." He starts playing the song again as he speaks, but it plays it down a key and slower.

"I don't hate you, can't bring myself too, but you shouldn't of been afraid to talk to me. You know who I am, we would of worked through it no matter what." He nods, followed by only the sounds of the piano melody.

"I'm in love with you." I hear him say softly after a little while out of the blue. It catches me off guard, finding it so foreign to hear those words come from him.

I let out a soft self deprecating chuckle. "No you don't. You care about me, but you don't love me. Probably saying this out of guilt or spur of the moment type thing and I can understand that, but you love Heather. She's good for you, perfect even."

"But I fell in love with you. She's not you." His brows are furrowed together as he frowns.

"Yeah, I'm not her." The small glint of my smile quickly fades and he notices it.

"What I did during my speech was very shitty. Gemma pointed it out to me right away and it's one of the biggest things I ever regret doing." He stops playing when he sees me deep in thought, slowly taking my hand to test the waters. "But I need you to understand what I said was true, that you are such an important person to me. You are beautiful, and kind, patience, and just so fucking good to me, love. I want to cherish you because it's what you deserve and I will deal with as much rejection for you to forgive me and give me another chance. It's worth every heartbreak if it means I get to love you again."

I find myself in an intimate situation, looking into his eyes at such a close proximity, our faces only inches away from each other. I was pleading to him with my eyes, begging him not to hurt me again while the look on his face was one I used to be familiar with. He was frozen while the fear that it would only just happen again held me back from moving. His eyes fluttered down to my lips, as if asking for permission and my head was refusing it. But every other part of me wanted to feel those lips again. I looked down at his, my hand taking hold of his and placing it on my chest to where my heart is before he made the move to finally press our lips together in a small kiss.

I wanted to sob because it felt right. I felt the butterflies again and the complete state of satisfaction. This time was gentle as well, but Harry put so much love into the kiss, cupping my cheek with his other hand when he feels how fast my heart was beating.

It only took a second more before I slowly pulled away, still tightly holding his hand against my heart as he could sense my doubt. "It's going to take some time okay? Probably a long time but you caused me a lot of heartbreak. But I never stopped loving you H, as much as I didn't want too anymore." I said seriously, and his eyes lits up with hope. Holding back his smile as much as he could while he nods because he heard that little nickname again.

"I'll give you as much time and space as you need, thank you. I love you so much bubs." He pulls me into a hug, nuzzling his face into my neck and I feel instantly calmer because of it. I rest my head on his shoulder while he mumbles sweet words into my skin.

"Promise I'll be good to you."

______________________________________________

A/N: :o it’s complete. I finished it yay! I’m so proud with how this series came out and I genuinely hope you guys do as well. I’ve started my semester and it’s going to be hectic so writing will take longer to come out, but there will be future stories that I’m really looking forward to writing and sharing :)

taglist: @big-galaxy-chaos

#Harry Styles #harry styles angst #harry styles imagine #harry styles x reader #harry styles fanfiction #harry styles one shot #harry styles fluff #one direction #harry styles blurb #heather #wish i were

170 notes · View notes

satoruvt · 3 years

Text

for now; forever

pairing → kwon soonyoung x reader

word count → 9015

genre → mostly fluff, angst ↳ tags: ooh boy. firewatch au, banter, like a little bit (a lot) of pining, strangers to friends to… something, FLIRTING, reader’s kinda fucked up but its ok, hoshi’s weird and endearing (as always), a tiny bit of hurt/comfort, minghao best boy, soonyoung is very sweet it makes me want to cry

synopsis → after an unfortunate burnout that lands you in every critic’s negative and all-seeing eye, you decide to take a break from the one thing you know. you’re not sure if you’ll find what you’re looking for out in the middle of the woods - if you’re looking for anything at all - but at the very least, soonyoung will make the hunt a little less lonely.

warnings → there’s eventually a forest fire (starts on day 64 and is mentioned throughout the rest of the fic) that leads to an evacuation but it’s not super detailed, mentions and descriptions of creative burnout/breakdown

a/n → IT’S FINALLY HERE!!! i made a fancy banner nd everything <3 i know 9k isn’t a lot to some people but this is probably the longest one shot i’ve ever written LMAOO so i hope it’s paced ok and everything <33 PLEASE let me know what yall thought about this i am insanely proud of it. ok thats it hehe. hope you enjoy!!! see u on the other side!!!!

btw here’s a fun playlist of songs i listened to while writing mixed with some songs i think reflect the fic super well <33

DAY ONE.

So. You’re… out here, now.

Save for the bugs you have to swat at every fifteen seconds, the outdoors doesn’t seem that bad. The weather isn’t too hot (yet, your mind reminds you) and there’s something about the color of the sky that makes your heart constrict in your chest. You can’t tell if it’s good or bad, but given your luck recently, you’re hoping it’s not a warning for the coming months - God knows you need a break. The weight of the journal in your bag feels heavier than any of the camping gear you brought with you.

You debate texting Minghao that you’ve made it to the park safely, but when you check your phone after deciding yes, you see the words no service instead of the familiar lines of a signal. It’s not that big of a deal - you’d told him when you left that you probably wouldn’t have service at all - but a little part of you feels the tender shake of anxiety at the thought of not being able to contact your best friend.

He was the most worried out of everyone when you told him you were leaving for the summer. You can’t really blame him - it was abrupt, you saw the flyer at the grocery store and took it - but after what happened… doing something felt, feels, better than sitting around and waiting for nothing to happen. Waiting for a healing you aren’t sure will ever come, at least not completely.

“Is this really…” Minghao had started upon first entering your apartment after getting your text. Clothes were thrown all over your bedroom floor in an attempt to pack. “Do you need to do this?”

The tone of his voice told you he wasn’t going to try to stop you, that he just wanted to make sure this was what you needed. You had only nodded, sitting down on the edge of your bed to fold clothes and pack them into your suitcase.

“I just don’t want you to run away from it all,” Minghao said softly, sitting next to you. “You’ll need to face it eventually.”

“Is escaping really such a bad thing?” You asked, looking at Minghao. He gave you the look he did when you said something stupid, and if you weren’t still so wired from everything, you might have laughed. Instead, you sighed, placing a pair of pants into your suitcase. “I just need some time.”

Before you can face it, before you can come back, before you can write again… you still don’t know. Minghao had placed a kind hand on your shoulder to tell you there was no rush.

It’d taken no more than two days for you to get everything ready - including buying some apparently necessary survival equipment from Target. In a matter of a few hours you had gathered everything up, texted some other friends and your family that you might not be available the next few months and then… you left.

(Your manager was pretty pissed off that you left so suddenly, but she was also pissed off at you when you told her you needed a break for at least a few weeks, so you’re not really offended.)

You take one last longing look at your car before locking it, pocketing the keys, and starting on your hike.

The hike takes almost the whole day.

You think you almost cry when you finally see the watch tower you’re supposed to be staying in, your legs barely able to hold the rest of your body up. The hike wasn’t hard, really - long, though, and for someone who usually spends a work day sitting at a desk, you’re surprised you’re still alive. You find the little lock that holds the keys to the tower at the bottom of the stairs, fastened onto the railing. It takes a few seconds for you to enter the code you’d been given earlier, relishing in the soft breeze the cools the sweat on your face and neck. The sun is just barely starting to set beyond the mountains, a beautiful sight that you can’t properly focus on because all you want to do is pass out. You’re pretty sure you almost do on your way up the stairs.

The cabin at the top of the tower is pretty scarcely furnished, save for a few basic necessities (a gas stove rests on one wall, a small desk opposite to it by the door, a mini-fridge, and a bed in the corner plus what looks like a map table in the center of the room). It’s a little weird, a feeling caught between the nostalgia of moving into a new place and something you can’t quite name, but you figure you have a few months to make it all a little more comfortable.

For now, though, you feel like you’re on the last leg of your energy. Your mind is saying eat, sleep, eat, sleep on repeat and you have to agree with it, so you change the sheets on the bed, take down the boards over the windows while you wait for the macaroni from the Kraft box to cook. You end up eating a few forkfuls of poorly-made mac and cheese before crashing.

When you wake up, it’s to gentle static and a semi-clear, unfamiliar voice. It takes you a minute to remember where you are and what you’re doing, too disoriented to even think about the voice, but then - oh. Forest. Watch tower. Escape. Okay.

“Yo, Cottonwood! Am I coming through okay? Pick up your radio!”

Right. The voice. Radio?

“Come on, I saw you get in yesterday, I know you’re there. Unless,” a gasp, “you died! Oh my God, this is like a horror movie… and I’m next!”

You manage to wake up enough to locate your radio (a walkie-talkie resting on a charger on the desk) and, after a few seconds of gentle struggle, work it. “Not dead,” you say, then clear your throat because your voice does not sound good right after waking up. “I mean… almost. But not dead.”

There’s barely a moment of hesitation before the person on the other end hoots, apparently excited. “Arisen from the dead! Brought back to life by none other than the legendary Hoshi!”

A brief thought crosses your mind about having to listen to this guy all summer, but you quickly shoo it away. You won’t have to deal with it for the whole three months, right? “Who… who is Hoshi?”

“Me!” The voice answers, sounding a little too smug. “But it’s really just an alias. You can call me Soonyoung. I’m at Twin Peaks tower, west of yours!”

You spin around your cabin, looking through the windows cluelessly - how long have you been asleep, it’s practically afternoon - until you see a very small silhouette of another tower in the distance. You nod, then realize Soonyoung can’t see you. “Oh. Cool.”

“Aren’t you gonna tell me your name?” Soonyoung asks, but his tone is light, breezy. You blink, reciting your name to him in a daze. “Pretty! So, what brings you out here?”

You weren’t expecting that question. “What?”

Soonyoung giggles into the radio. “Everyone comes out here for some reason. Like… Jihoon says it’s ‘cause it helps him write music. And Joshua loves the outdoors, so… what’s your reason?”

“You…” you start, not exactly wanting to tell a stranger the reason you ran away from everything you know. “Do you normally ask this many questions?”

“Yeah!”

You feel yourself sigh, already tired again.

“I… just wanted to get away for a while,” you end up saying. A half-truth. “I live in the city.”

“No way,” Soonyoung gasps excitedly. “Me too! I wonder if both of us have ever been walking and, like, passed each other without knowing…”

This isn’t exactly what you had in mind when you thought of escaping.

DAY TWO.

The next morning, you dedicate time to getting a little more settled into your home for the next few months. You didn’t bring a lot of decor - you didn’t think you needed any - but even seeing your blanket on the bed and a few books you need to catch up on reading stacked on the desk makes the place feel a little bit more like you. You eventually reach the journal you packed (that Minghao made you pack) and stare at it like it might do something. Like it might tell you to write again, or like it might tell you to leave everything behind. You don’t really know what you want from it.

A sing-songed version of your name comes from your radio and you blink away from the journal, set it down on the desk. “Good morning!” Soonyoung says from the other end, and you feel yourself take a deep breath as you pick up your radio and press down the button so he can hear you.

“Morning, Soonyoung,” you respond, calm compared to his excitement.

“So… what are your plans for today?”

“Um,” you pause, brows furrowed, looking towards the direction of his tower even though you know he can’t see you. “Looking out for fires?”

“That’s boring,” is Soonyoung’s immediate response, and you laugh a little.

“Kinda my job for a while.”

And listen, you’ve known Soonyoung for less than a full 24 hours, but even before your brain really comprehends what he’s saying you know you’re not going to like it. “Wait, that reminds me,” he says, tone of his voice a little less overexcited puppy. “What did you do before this? Or, like, what’s your career? I mean, you don’t have to answer, I just thought it could be a way for us to get to know each other…”

His voice fades away for the split second you remember a little too much all at once, but somehow your voice still sounds put together when you speak. “Nothing special,” you say. There’s a pause when you don’t elaborate any further, but instead of asking about it, Soonyoung changes the subject.

“Okay!” he says, back to a more playful tone. “Anyways, I asked about your plans ‘cause I kind of need you to do something for me.”

“Already asking favors?” you tease. “We just met, Soonyoung.”

You hear him laugh, loud and hearty, and it’s contagious even through a radio line so you feel your own smile pull at your lips. “One of the other lookouts found some teenagers with fireworks,” he informs you. “I need you to meet him and get the fireworks from him.”

Your feet are already in your shoes, one halfway tied. “You can’t do this?”

Soonyoung’s voice is strangely thoughtful, but you catch a hint of mischief at the end of his sentence. “I would, but Jihoonie said he’d eat me if I tried to see him again and I think he’s serious this time.”

He tells you where the other lookout - Jihoon - should be and gives you a quick lesson on how to properly use your map to get there. You’re not really excited for another hike this early on (you’re still sore from even getting up here) but by the time you meet the halfway mark you’re convinced it’s not that bad. It’s neither long nor challenging, and… well, Soonyoung’s insistent on keeping you company the whole time.

When you see what looks like a guy at the edge of a now-abandoned camp, you tell Soonyoung you’ll radio him when you’re on your way back to your tower. “Hey,” you call out as you get closer. The man looks up at you, his eyes sharp but not unkind. “Jihoon?”

“Yeah,” he replies. Under his cap you notice that his hair is a gentle silver, almost purple. He’s dressed casually, like you, and you suppose it’s a given since there’s no exact dress code for this job. “You’re the newbie?”

You didn’t know people knew about you. “I.. I guess,” you say, then tell him your name.

“Cool,” Jihoon says, voice flat like he’s distracted. He picks up the bag next to his feet and hands it to you. “Take these. Thanks.”

He starts to walk away, down a trail opposite the direction you came, but you think of earlier, when Soonyoung asked about your job (or when he didn’t). You call after Jihoon, hesitate, but then opt to make this quick since he looks like he’d rather be anywhere but here. “Have you and Soonyoung… known each other for long?”

Jihoon turns around. He shrugs, then nods. “We met in college, a few years ago.”

“What kind of person is he?”

You watch in vague amusement as Jihoon’s nose scrunches up, but the small smile on his face refuses to hide and it makes you giggle. “Really annyoing,” he tells you, then pauses for a second like he’s looking for the right words, “kind of overwhelming sometimes. But he’s good. He’s someone you want around.”

Someone you want around, your brain repeats to you. You nod with a friendly smile as you haphazardly stuff the fireworks in your hiking bag. “Okay. Thank you.”

Jihoon offers an acknowledging nod of his own before continuing on his way back to his tower. You’re about five minutes into your hike back to yours when your radio sounds from your pocket with a now-familiar voice.

“Are you on your way back?” Soonyoung asks. “You forgot to tell me!”

“Sorry, yeah, I am now. I was talkin’ to Jihoon for a second.”

“Really? That’s weird. He rarely talks to anyone, especially strangers. What’d you talk about?”

You can’t help the small smile that lands on your face as you speak. “Stuff to blackmail you with.”

You think you hear Soonyoung’s groan all the way from his tower, and your smile only grows when it turns into a laugh.

DAY FIVE.

The clouds look dark today.

They haven’t covered the sun completely yet, but they’re closing in fast. You hope that it rains, already sick and tired of the disgusting heat, but also. Something else.

Rainy days always used to be the best to write, your brain supplies to you. You brave a glance at the still-unopened journal on the desk, thinking that maybe…

Your radio turning on drags you away from the crack in metaphorical door, coming at the perfect time as if to tell you that you’re not ready yet. You listen to it, grab the radio, murmur a greeting to Soonyoung.

“It’s getting pretty dark out, huh?” He says. He must be looking at the sky, too.

“Yeah,” you hum. “Hopefully the storm isn’t too bad.”

The line goes quiet, but you know that Soonyoung’s still there even if he isn’t saying anything. The knowledge comforts you, just a little.

“Well... got any rainy day stories?”

DAY SEVENTEEN.

“So, Soonyoung,” you call into your radio as you step outside. You’ve taken advantage of the small balcony around the entire cabin, setting up a few chairs you found in the storage unit at the bottom of the tower (just in case someone stops by, you tell yourself) and a small table you weren’t using inside. The nights are hot but still relaxing, and you find yourself sitting outside often, catching up on reading or taking in the stars.

“I can’t believe you radioed me first,” Soonyoung responds, and you hear the smugness in his voice. “I’m so happy!”

Soonyoung somehow almost always manages to be with you in the nights, too, even if not physically. Being away from the urban civilization you’re used to has been a little difficult to adjust to, but you feel significantly less alone whenever you hear him calling you. You tell him to be quiet even though both of you are laughing. The distant crickets make your chest warm.

“What do you do? You didn’t tell me before,” You ask him after a second. There’s a small wave of anxiety that rushes over you at the idea that he might call you out about when he asked you the same thing. That was two weeks ago, though, you think, and Soonyoung wouldn’t. You’re sure he’s been able to tell that it’s a touchy subject. You’re not as discreet as you think you are, even if (and you’ve learned this the past few weeks) Soonyoung’s a bit more on the oblivious side sometimes.

“I dance!”

Somehow, despite having not even seen what he looks like, it’s fitting. “Like… teach, or choreograph, or…”

“A little of everything,” Soonyoung tells you, and then starts elaborating. His voice echoes through your radio and you look up at the stars as you listen to him, trying to map out constellations from memory. He sounds so excited to simply talk about it, you can’t imagine what he must look like when he’s actually on stage. You hope you get to see it one day.

“You’ll have to teach me something sometime,” you say once he’s finished, voicing your thoughts. With a giggle that sounds like the stars above you, he tells you he’d love to.

A moment of quiet passes, spent focusing on the tiny specks of fireflies you see in the field around your tower and feeling the summer breeze as it passes. The words slip out of your mouth with much less resistance than you thought they would.

“I used to write,” you murmur into your radio. It takes you a moment to register the heavy beat of your heart, like you just got back from a run.

“Used to?” Soonyoung asks, curious but soft.

“For now,” you answer. The ache you’ve become familiar with throbs in your chest. “Hopefully not forever.”

It’s not the whole story - not even close - but you figure you might be able to tell him with time. The thought stresses you out even when you have nothing to stress about, and you think Soonyoung is psychic because he says, next, “the stars are really pretty tonight.”

You’re not looking at the sky when you answer. Your head is tilted in the direction of his tower.

“They really are,” you say.

DAY THIRTY-THREE.

You’ve fallen into a bit of a routine with Soonyoung.

Not a day goes by where you don’t talk to him - the one day you radioed and he didn’t pick up you genuinely thought something happened to him, seconds away from calling a park ranger. Right before you actually did it, though, he picked up his radio and said he had been taking a nap.

(His voice was a little groggy from sleep, sounded like he was pouting whether he meant to or not and you’d be lying if you said the thought didn’t make your heart skip a few beats - but if anyone asked, you’d definitely lie about it.)

One of you calls the other around the same time every morning and you don’t put down your radio until the sun is well behind the mountains. You’ve grown used to his presence, in a way, even if you can’t really feel him with you (though sometimes you swear you can). It’s comforting to have him out there with you, and it’s been so long since you’ve talked to someone the way you do with Soonyoung… you find yourself looking forward to every morning, waiting for when you hear him over your radio.

Today is no different.

Well, in an unrelated way, it is - you have to hike to a supply box to get your surplus of food for the next month and a half you have left. But even as you’re doing inventory of what you have left in your cabin on a piece of paper, you’re waiting for Soonyoung’s usual good morning. It comes as always, makes you smile when you hear it.

“Good morning!”

You leave your scratch paper on your desk and reach for your radio. “Morning,” you say after you’ve pressed the button down.

“So…” Soonyoung trails off. “Supply drop day.”

“Yeah,” you reply, sitting on your bed.

“Both of us are getting crates of food today…”

What is he getting at? “Uh-huh…?”

“Both of us… getting supplies… from the same place.”

A confused laugh leaves your lips. “Soonyoung, what is your point?”

Even for as often as you talk to him, you’re still always surprised when he starts yelling. “Let’s meet up!” he exclaims, obviously excited, and it clicks in your head.

“Oh my God, can we do that?”

“Yeah!” Soonyoung sounds like he’s grinning, smile palpable in his voice. “If we pull some strings with the other lookouts and get hiking at the right time, it’s totally possible.”

Holy shit. Your heart is beating wildly, butterflies swarming around it at the thought of meeting Soonyoung in person. “Okay,” you tell him, noting that you sound a little breathless. “Okay, yeah, let’s do it.”

It takes a few minutes to work everything out - the supply boxes should be dropped off by midday, so you can leave your tower around then and get to the drop location in a little over an hour. Soonyoung has to leave earlier than you since he’s farther away, but if everything goes well the two of you should get to the drop location close to the same time, margin of error small. You radio Jihoon to cover for you while you’re out, and he agrees, although he sounds a bit miffed.

When you finally leave for your hike, you’re not expecting how quiet it is. Soonyoung’s usually there to cover it up with his voice - you don’t hike often (you’ve not had to, given your job for the summer is to watch for fires) but whenever you have he’s been there to keep you company. You plug in your earphones about halfway through your trip just to drown out the quiet, something more to listen to than just trees and the sound of your own footsteps.

Eventually you make it to the supply box, and, well. There’s a guy. Standing in front of a long, green box - you think you see lookout tower names engraved ever few inches: Thorofare, Cottonwood, Twin Peaks. Packing some ready-to-eat meals into his backpack.

Holy shit, Soonyoung? your brain automatically asks, and it sends your heart spiraling up and down. You’re not sure what you thought he looked like, but it wasn’t this. Tall, lean - wait, you don’t even know if this is actually him yet.

Before you can think too much about it, you call out, voice tentative. “Are you… Soonyoung?”

The man turns around, shakes his head with a kind smile. “No,” he says. “I’m Joshua.”

You think about throwing yourself into the river by your tower when you get back for absolutely no reason. Somehow you manage a polite smile and a gentle sorry.

“No, don’t apologize, you’re fine!” Joshua chirps, adjusting the cap on his head. “You’re looking for him?”

You pause. Those aren’t the exact words you would use, but they’re not technically wrong, so you nod. After all, you don’t know what he looks like (you probably should have asked him before both of you left, but you weren’t expecting another person to be here).

“Please don’t tell me he got lost again,” Joshua says, suddenly looking tired, and you look back at him wide-eyed because... again? Has this happened before?

“No,” you tell him. “No, I mean, I don’t think so. I don’t know. Since we both have to pick up supplies he thought it’d be cool if we met up in person.”

Joshua sighs, seemingly relieved, then continues packing what’s left of his supplies into his backpack as he hums. “That’s weird.”

“What is?”

He shrugs. “Soonyoung likes the outdoors, yeah, but the supply box is a pretty far hike from his tower. I think the last few summers he’s had them delivered.”

Oh, you think, and maybe say out loud, because then Joshua’s looking back at you, a mischievous smile on his face.

“He must really like you to come all the way out here,” he tells you, and you laugh like it might get rid of all the thoughts popping up in your mind that you keep telling yourself to stop thinking about.

“And yet,” you say wistfully, looking towards the horizon. “I still come second to Jihoon.”

This time Joshua laughs, a friendly sound, and the two of you fall into a playful conversation. He’s somewhat a superior of yours, though not by a far gap - as the lookout who’s been on the job the longest, he oversees the rest of you (which is you, Soonyoung, Jihoon, and a few others you have yet to come across). You get along with him easily and it’s weird to think that if you hadn’t gone through what you did a few months ago you wouldn’t be here talking to him, establishing what could be a new friendship. You wonder if that’s a new step towards healing, finding a way to be grateful even if it was horrible.

You talk to Joshua for a while until he says he should get back to his tower. You nod, tell him goodbye (and thanks for his company) and he starts to walk away -

“Shua!”

A burst of platinum blonde hair rushes past you from the opposite direction you came from, heading for Joshua. The new guy drops a bag at his feet and almost softly crashes into Joshua, who has this look on his face you can’t really decipher.

“Hey, Soonyoung,” he says, and you blink.

Soonyoung, like… your Soonyoung? The Soonyoung you’ve been talking to for weeks?

You watch as the two hug, Soonyoung excited to see Joshua and completely ignoring you (though you’re not sure he’s doing it intentionally). All you can do is stand there. This is him, your brain keeps telling you. This is the guy.

“I haven’t seen you in forever!” Soonyoung exclaims, bouncing on the balls of his feet excitedly. “How are you? How have things been?”

Joshua shrugs, a small smile on his face as he puts a gentle hand on Soonyoung’s head and starts… petting. “I’ve been good, same old deal. I know that you’ve been doing good too, though, as far as I’ve seen from your reports.”

Soonyoung beams at the praise and you take note of it in the back of your mind (you also note the way Joshua’s treating him like a toddler and how it’s working). He opens his mouth to say something else but looks around and meets your eyes - for a second there’s nothing at all, but then you think you see an exclamation mark actually pop above his head.

The yell of your name is so loud it makes you jump. “Oh my God,” Soonyoung whines, falling to his knees dramatically. “I can’t believe I didn’t recognize you!”

“This is the first time you’ve seen me,” you say. You can’t seem to hold back your smile.

Joshua excuses himself (again) and finally moves on his way, says he’s in Thorofare lookout if anything happens. The sun is mellow on your skin as you look at Soonyoung, take him in - light hair, warm eyes, tan skin. His smile matches your own. A breeze shifts by, slow and sweet.

“Hi,” you say.

Soonyoung grins.

“Hey.”

So the bag you saw Soonyoung drop on the ground before was, in fact, for a picnic.

He didn’t bring a lot of food (the whole point of the hike was to get supply boxes anyways) aside from a few candy bars he’d saved for today. He did bring a blanket, however, and the two of you set everything up on the edge of a rock not too far away from the drop location, under some trees. It looks over a small ravine, a stream cutting through at the bottom.

The time goes by like it was never there in the first place, spent talking and laughing. Soonyoung is just as animated in person as you thought he’d be, telling stories wildly as the two of you snack away a portion of your supplies. You know the two of you don’t have much time together, given how late it already was when Soonyoung arrived and both of your hikes back to your respective towers, but it’s still… refreshing, almost, to be with him like this, to finally get a piece of him you didn’t before. To hear him without the crackle of the radio and to see him.

To see him.

Something stirs in your chest when you look at him lying back on the blanket, arms supporting his head with his eyes closed. The sun lights up his skin in a golden glow, like honey, and the dark roots growing into his blonde hair are somehow endearing. The breath leaves your lungs when you finally label him as pretty. You hope you can blame the heat in your cheeks on the sun.

“I wish we could stay like this forever,” Soonyoung sighs, still not opening his eyes. You almost reach out to brush the hair away from his face, but a breeze comes by and does it for you. You hope it’s not a sign.

“It would be nice, huh,” you murmur in response. You finally break your gaze from Soonyoung and lean back on your hands, soaking up the feeling of the blue sky.

It’s now that you remember what Joshua had said earlier about Soonyoung usually getting his supplies delivered, and you turn back to him. “Hey, before you got to the supply box, Joshua and I were talking.” Soonyoung hums in acknowledgement. “Is the hike from your tower to here really that bad?”

His voice strains as he stretches, opening his eyes to look at you. “I mean, yeah, it’s a bitch of a hike to take sometimes. But it’s not really hard except for a few spots, just long.”

You furrow your brows. When you agreed to meet him, you didn’t think it’d be this much trouble for him. “And you came all this way so we could… what, sit here and eat? Like we do most of the time anyways? Just separately?”

Soonyoung pouts at you and you feel personally attacked. “Food tastes good when you’re with other people.”

You give him a soft, semi-playful glare, and Soonyoung offers a small giggle. You turn back towards the view in front of you.

“Did you not want me to come down?” He asks, and he doesn’t sound… sad, really, more observant. Like he wants to know where you’re at.

“No,” you answer almost immediately (Jesus, your brain says). “I just… it’s a long trip. It doesn’t really seem like it’s worth the effort.”

Like I’m worth the effort, you think to yourself.

You hear Soonyoung shuffle behind you and turn around to look at him again, finding him sitting up straight. “It is to me,” he tells you, and there’s something in his eyes that holds you in your spot. The tips of his fingers brush against yours on the blanket. You’d look down if you didn’t think you’d miss something. “I wanted to.”

In a second, it clicks.

It’s not much longer until Soonyoung needs to start heading back. The two of you get your things together, and you help him pack up the picnic supplies he brought. When everything’s said and done and the two of you are back by the supply box, there’s a second of uncharacteristic quiet that falls over you.

“Let me know when you get back,” you say after a moment. Soonyoung grins.

“You’re worried about me!” he swoons, and you hit him on the shoulder playfully, but don’t deny it. It can be dangerous out there, and even if Soonyoung has been out here longer than you, anything can happen.

“Just radio me, okay?”

Soonyoung smiles, something a little softer from before. He nods. “I will. You be safe too.”

You nod in return, taking a few steps back towards the trail that leads back to your tower. “Talk to you later, Hoshi.”

The last you see of him before you turn around is the grin on his face.

DAY THIRTY-FOUR.

It feels like forever since you’ve been here.

A window is open and welcomes a distant ambiance of the forest around you, trees and birds and animals. The journal you brought with you is open to the first page, but remains untouched - nothing on the pages. At least, not yet.

(The not yet you always tell yourself seems closer, this time, not so far away. Within reach, or at least within reason.)

Soonyoung had called in that the hike from yesterday had worn him out and he needed a nap. You had laughed fondly at how tired he sounded, told him to sleep well and that you’d be waiting for him. And you feel the words, right at your fingertips, the way the rest and wait to be written. Their presence is both terrifying and reassuring.

You don’t think they’ll be able to bleed out correctly, not the way they used to since it’s been so long. But they’re there, in your mind, in your heart.

You pick up the pen you got out, feel the weight of it as you click it a few times. You tap it on the desk once, twice, and then.

You take a deep breath and start to write.

DAY SIXTY-FOUR.

“Are you lookin’ at the fire?”

Your eyes leave the page of your book at Soonyoung’s voice crackling from the radio, looking around your cabin windows to see that, oh, there is a fire. You’d kind of forgotten that it’s… literally your job. At least there are multiple lookouts.

You fold the corner of the page you’re on as a makeshift bookmark before closing the book and setting it down on your bed as you stand to get your radio. You grab a can of soda from the mini-fridge you’ve started to utilize (as best you can, given it does a mediocre job at keeping things cool) before walking out onto the deck, sitting in one of the chairs you set up. “Now I am,” you tell Soonyoung as you adjust the chair so it faces the direction of the fire. You think you’re the closest lookout to it - which makes the fact that you didn’t notice it even worse - but not in any danger. The smoke paints the evening sky red-orange, washing over the purples and blues the sun used earlier as it set. “You’ve called it in?”

“Yeah, told Josh, who told the higher-ups,” Soonyoung responds, voice strangely… solemn? He sighs his next words. “They’ll probably send a crew in for suppression by morning.”

“Is there a reason you sound sad about putting a potentially dangerous forest fire out?” You tease, cracking open your soda and taking a sip. The carbonation feels good in your mouth, pops on your tongue.

“I’m not!” Soonyoung denies after some sputtering, and you laugh. “Just… ugh, looking at it - I’ve worked here every summer for the past, like, five years, and I’ve only ever seen two fires. Three, counting this one.” His voice gains a certain softness, like he’s lost in thought. “I don’t want the place to burn down or anything, but… don’t you think it’s kind of beautiful?”

It’s a little morally ambiguous, but as you look at the distant, licking flames you have to agree. In the dark, it’s vibrant, more than just ashy smoke and the smell of burning - it glows red, flushes out silhouettes of the trees in between it and you.

“I guess it is,” you hum into your radio as you stare at it.

“So. What should we name it?”

“The fire?”

“Yes,” Soonyoung says, dramatic as always. “She needs a name! I’ve always given them names, but I’ll let you do the honor this time.”

There’s something sweet in the way he offers you the chance to name it, and you try not to dwell on it too much. “Ah,” you start, thinking for a moment. “Barbara. The Barbara Fire.”

Soonyoung howls out a laugh and it’s infectious; you feel the tugging of your lips into a grin. “That is the worst thing that has ever come out of your mouth,” he says, and you roll your eyes. “We are not naming it the Barbara Fire.”

You huff out a fake whine. “Come on, it’s just Barb! She’s beautiful.”

“But deadly,” Soonyoung adds in a voice that sounds like it came straight out of a crime documentary. It makes you giggle, the two of you throwing around silly, stupid names.

“Okay, okay,” you say after a few minutes. “Then… hmm, the Hoshi Fire.”

There’s a long, long pause, and you hold down the button to your radio again. “Uh oh, is he broken?”

Soonyoung’s voice comes through, joking, but you sense a pinch of sincerity. “You want to name a raging forest fire after me… I feel like I shouldn’t be happy but I kind of am.”

You remember to push the button as you laugh, looking directly at the fire and shouting, “I hereby dub thee… the Hoshi Fire!” as loud as you can.

After the laughter dies down, for a second, there’s quiet - not awkward or for the sake of a bit, just quiet. Soonyoung’s not telling a story, you’re not giving witty comebacks. It’s just the two of you and the fire, alone in the forest.

It breaks eventually. Soft, gentle. “I’m glad you’re out here, you know,” Soonyoung says.

His words make you stiffen and relax all at once, and almost on instinct you look in the direction of his tower. You can’t really see the silhouette - the sun too far gone, taking the last of its light with it - but you know it’s there, can pinpoint exactly where it should be. You hope Soonyoung’s looking over at you, too.

And even if the reason you’re here in the first place is still a tender bruise to be pressed, you find yourself recovering a little more every day. “I am, too,” you respond. “I… I wish you were over here.”

It’s a roundabout way to say I miss you, but a part of you thinks neither of you are ready for something that explicit. You reach a hand out in the direction of Soonyoung’s tower, grasping at it like it might bring him to you. It’s not as if you can’t meet up with him again, but… between the distance and the fact that there’s an actual fire to keep your eye on, it certainly wouldn’t be easy. This is the closest you can get for now.

“I wish I was too,” Soonyoung says. You close your eyes to picture him, pretty smile and fond eyes. “We could hang out, like last time.”

“Without the radios,” you add.

“We could, um… you know.”

His words make you giggle, and you feel a little lucky that you’re not holding down the button. Your heart is pounding in your chest, nervous but stable, secure, as you reply. A welcomed beat, even if startling.

“No, I don’t,” you tell him. Your soda sits forgotten, half-empty, on the floor of the deck by your feet. You don’t bother paying attention to the fire. “What could we do?”

Soonyoung groans and this time you laugh pushing the button so he can hear you, warm and affectionate. “Don’t tease me! You know what I’m talking about.”

You do. “What could we do, Soonyoung?”

There’s a pause, but you know he’s still there.

“Well,” he says eventually. “Let me tell you.”

DAY SEVENTY-SIX.

The fire’s gotten big.

You feel like you shouldn’t be surprised by it - it’s a wildfire, they’re not exactly easy to contain, but seeing it up close like this is vastly different from being in a city and barely even noticing the smoke. It is larger than life out here, consuming more and more of the forest each day. The last few days you’ve spent inside due to the low visibility (though it’s not as if you take a hike every day anyways). It makes you wonder if it’s safe to stay out here.

“...Hey,” Soonyoung radios in. “I have a question for you.”

Rationally, you know whatever it is, it can’t be that serious. But your heart picks up pace anyways, beats a little harder as you pick up your radio to respond. “Look, it was Jihoon’s idea to use the fireworks, I promise neither of us knew it would start the fire.”

Soonyoung sputters out a laugh and you match him, feeling yourself calm down. “I’ll… I’ll ask Jihoon about that later, but - I really do have something to ask you.”

You lay down in your bed, unmade and messy. “Is it… bad?”

“I don’t think so,” Soonyoung responds. “Maybe?”

“Okay…” you say, timid. “Shoot.”

“When you first got here, I asked why you took the job,” he says, and you nod to yourself, remembering the first call you got from him. “You just… never really responded. I get it if it’s, like, a touchy subject, I don’t want to pressure you at all…”

“No,” you interrupt before you realize what you’re saying. You take a deep breath, Soonyoung waits. “No, it’s probably… it might be good to talk about it. I’ll tell you.”

He murmurs an okay, tells you to take your time and you do. It’s not like you’re scared to tell him - you’ve come to trust him, you know he won’t judge you for anything that happened or think any differently of you. You’re not even sure that’s why it’s hard for you to talk about - rather than any sort of outside force that might affect you, it’s more… more of a part of you that you felt you lost. It’s more coming to terms - even after these months - and going through the motions. It’s scary to talk about disconnection, especially from the one thing you loved (love?) more than anything.

“I… write,” is how you start, looking at the ceiling of your cabin as you speak. “Or wrote, maybe? I’m an author. I have a few books published. Writing is something I’ve loved since I was so young, it’s… a part of me, really. It’s special to me.

“When I finally got a manager and a publishing company and all that official stuff, I was so excited. It was like I was finally living my dream. I wrote my first book and got it published and it did really well, so my management asked me to do another, and I did. Then they asked for one after that, and I didn’t… it felt too soon, in a way. Rushed. But I guess I did it because I had to, because I figured this just came with being a writer and not everything is what you want it to be - and I didn’t want to risk losing what I had wanted almost my entire life.”

You take a moment to steady yourself, note the tremble of your fingers and take a few deep breaths. Soonyoung waits for you, patient and kind. “It went like that for a while, and I lost touch with writing. I stopped loving the only thing I knew how to love. I was so detached from it. A few months before I took this job my manager set up a press conference for me, and I… kind of… had a breakdown. At the conference. So I’m out here to run away for a second. Be away from it all.”

The quiet that follows doesn’t make you nervous, really, but you’re still waiting for a reply of any sort. Even if it’s the common oh or it’ll be okay that you got from distant friends and relatives who didn’t know what was really going on. But Soonyoung was patient with you, so you can be patient with him.

“Have you written since?” He asks after a minute, and your eyes flash over to the journal on your desk. One page has the familiar strokes and loops of your handwriting, written after you met Soonyoung in person.

“Only once,” you respond, truthful.

“When you start to write again… will you show me?”

And for some reason the question is so tender, filled to the brim with something you want to name. It makes tears spring to your eyes as you look out over the rising fire, trying not to let your voice shake too much as you reply.

(Maybe it’s because he said when and not if, maybe it’s because he didn’t tell you it’ll be okay, maybe it’s because it’s him and not someone else telling you the same thing.)

“Yeah,” you say, letting go of the button to sniff. “Yeah, I will. If you let me see one of your dances.”

You hear Soonyoung’s smile through the radio as he tells you it’s a deal.

DAY SEVENTY-EIGHT.

For the first time since you started working, someone who isn’t Soonyoung calls you through the radio (not counting the time you radioed Jihoon to make sure he was still alive, because you only saw him once and hadn’t heard from him since then). You hear the familiar click that tells you someone’s on the station, and you’re fully expecting Soonyoung’s voice to light up your cabin the way it always does. Instead, Joshua’s voice rings through.

“You there?” He asks after a comfortable call of your name, and you pick up your radio.

“Yeah, I’m here. It’s been a while,” you respond, and Joshua hums. “How’ve you been?”

“I’ve… been,” he tells you, which earns a small laugh. “Anyways, I called in to let you know that they’re having trouble controlling the fire -”

You take a look at the giant flume of smoke north of your tower, nodding to yourself. “I can see that.”

Joshua tells you to be quiet. You hear the friendly smile in his voice.

“There’ll be an evacuation team here within the next two days,” he says. “Maybe less, shouldn’t be more. They’re gonna get all the lookouts evacuated.”

Oh. Evacuation? That means… the city. Your apartment, back to your family and friends. You’d forgotten an entire world exists outside of the bubble you created for yourself.

“Okay,” you say slowly, still looking at the fire. “I assume you’ve told the other lookouts?”

“I’ve got a few more to call, but other than that, yeah, everyone’s covered. I told Soonyoung and Jihoon first,” Joshua tells you, and you blink at the fact that you didn’t even have to ask. “I’ll see you on the other side.”

“Yeah. Stay safe, Josh.”

You sit for a while after that, trying to cope with the feeling in your chest. You… you feel better about everything, about writing, for sure, but. But. It’s cut short, even if only by a little over a week. You haven’t even started packing anything up - so much of you is strewn around the cabin, in the field around your tower, in the trees of the forest you hiked through. You don’t think you’re ready to say goodbye to the place you’ve made your home and the people (person, your heart whispers) with it.

The sun starts to set and the fire grows. You sit on your bed and look at the things you’ve made your own, a sunken, unfinished emotion spreading through you. Eventually it is Soonyoung’s voice that comes from your radio, low and humorous.

“The Hoshi Fire can’t be stopped…” he murmurs, and you laugh despite the loss you feel.

“Please,” you groan into your radio after you’ve grabbed it. “We’re getting evacuated!”

Soonyoung giggles, something mischievous that makes your heart warm with slow appreciation. “I can’t believe it’s ending so soon,” you say, standing up to walk around aimlessly.

“Yeah, the summer went by super fast, huh?” Soonyoung replies. “I’m kind of excited, though. I’ve missed a proper dance studio.”

That’s… oh.

A current of mild surprise rolls through you and you think you physically feel your jaw drop, just a little. That - that hurt. More than you want it to, more than you think it should - but it’s... fine. You’ve only known Soonyoung for a few months, it’s not like…

You realize you haven’t responded and open your mouth on purpose this time. “I wish we could share the sentiment, Hoshi,” you joke, hoping it doesn’t sound too stiff.

If Soonyoung notices anything, he doesn’t say it. Only laughs, sweet and genuine. “I’m sure you’ll find something to yearn for just as I yearn for dance,” he says dramatically. You laugh, forced, because yeah, you will. Maybe you already have.

DAY EIGHTY.

Evacuation day.

Last day in your tower. Last day in the forest. Last day of the job you took to escape, to heal. It’s spent packing up the things you brought with you, throwing away everything else. Joshua said helicopters would be touching down at two points - Twin Peaks lookout and Mule Point lookout. Twin Peaks is Soonyoung’s tower, and if you planned it out right, you could probably get there and leave with him.

You tell yourself that the reason you can’t is because Mule Point is closer. Safer. They’re evacuating you for a reason.

“Hey.”

Speak of the devil, you think, grabbing your radio from its charging port. “Hi.”

“So,” Soonyoung says. For the first time since you’ve known him, he seems awkward. “Evacuation day.”

“Yessir…”

“What evacuation point are you hiking to?”

You pause, hesitate like you’re about to say something you shouldn’t. “Mule Point,” you manage to get out. “It’s closer,” you say after, your brain telling you to justify it, explain.

“What did the Hoshi Fire ever do to you?” Soonyoung huffs out through a laugh, and it sounds so unaffected that you feel that ache from before again. After a second, he adds, “so… this’ll be the last we talk. At least for a while.”

That realization hits you like a brick and the sting behind your eyes seems normal - regardless of whatever was built between you and Soonyoung or what lead you out here in the first place, it’s so sad that it’s ending. “Yeah,” you say quietly. Everything is packed, you just need to get hiking. “I, um. Is it cheesy to say thank you?”

“Maybe,” Soonyoung chuckles. “But it’ll also make me feel really good, so…”

You feel yourself calm down and let out your own small giggle. Maybe it was always meant to end this way, a little too soon, a little too sad. “Really… thanks, Soonyoung. I think it would’ve been worse for me if I got the silence I came out here for. I’m glad I had you to talk to.”

“Thank you, too,” Soonyoung says back. “I hope… you write again. I’ll talk to you later.”

The mention of it doesn’t hurt as much as it used to, and you feel the smallest of smiles on your lips. “Yeah. Later.”

The radio clicks off and that’s the last you hear from Soonyoung.

EPILOGUE.

It’s hard to come back.

From nature, from Soonyoung - everything, really. To go from trees and fires and talking every night back to car horns, busy sidewalks and your own apartment. It’s weird to wake up and not see the immediate shine of the sun through your windows. But you come back, slowly get used to the life you had before.

And you start writing.

Given - you get back in August only start writing again in October, but you write. Little by little, page after page. Maybe not every day, like you used to, but the words are back and they are eager to get out, leave their mark as your work. You stand up to your management (with Minghao’s support) and take control of your own writing schedule. The pressure from before leaves. Writing becomes special more than ever, returns as the one thing you never get truly tired of.

Minghao asks about the job, your summer. You tell him it was easy and peaceful, and that you’re thankful for the time. You mention the other lookouts. You mention Soonyoung. Only in passing, though.

(Minghao definitely suspects something, but even if he asked, you wouldn’t tell him much.)

Sometimes you allow yourself to think of him - when you got back, you looked for a Soonyoung in the multiple dance studios in the city, but since you didn’t have a last name or any proper title, nothing came up. After that, you gave up, but he still shows up in your thoughts from time to time, bright blonde hair (the roots growing in) and glowing smile. It’s cold out, now, so you hope he isn’t getting sick and that he’s staying warm.

You’re reminded of just how cold it is when you have to brace the outside world to get your mail. There’s not even any wind, just an undeniable cold, and it makes your nose burn and eyes water as you walk the short trek to your mailbox. You find your slot and push your key in, unlocking it and gathering your mail. Most of it is junk, but you could have sworn something you ordered was supposed to come today -

“Excuse me?”

You turn your head to the voice and find a man walking towards you, his head turned down towards a small piece of paper. His voice sounds familiar, but you figure it must just be a neighbor you haven’t spoken to in a while. You turn your body to him, waiting for him to look up from the note so you can place a name on him. “Do you know where I can find an author…”

He looks up.

It’s Soonyoung.

He looks a little different - his hair is shorter, dyed black instead of the platinum you remember from last July. But it’s definitely him. The longer you stare at each other the wider his smile gets, and you stand, speechless. He’s looking at you like you’re the only thing in the world. Your heart starts to race, warms you up beneath your jacket.

“Found you,” Soonyoung grins. You can’t take your eyes off of him.

“Yeah,” you breathe. “You did.”

#caratwritersclub #kdiner #CRIES I'M SO EXCITED #THIS FIC IS MY BABY I HOPE YOU ALL ENJOY IT!!!!#seventeen x reader #seventeen imagine #svt x reader #svt imagine #kwon soonyoung x reader #kwon soonyoung imagine #svt hoshi x reader #svt hoshi imagine #seventeen hoshi x reader #seventeen hoshi imagine #hoshi x reader #hoshi imagine

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nct-lian · 3 years

Text

relationships outside of sm

JENNIE + LIAN: JENLI

so iconic omg like how they do it, i have no idea

they hang out all the time and lian is literally ALWAYS on jennie’s instagram

the two of them once had an instagram story conversation over pigtails

like,, jennie posted a picture of lian’s pigtails for that one bicycle performance on her story and captioned it “pigtail baby” and then lian reposted it on her own story with a picture of jennie’s pigtails, captioning it “pigtail eomma”

speaking of eomma, jennie is genuinely her mother

jennie takes her shopping all the time

and in return, lian buys her food

the interactions these two used to have at award shows were SO CUTE

everyone remembers when jennie pretty much yelled out lian’s name and she just came running over to the members of blackpink after taeyong let her leave :(

i’m crying just thinking about it help

jennie also posted a full on instagram post for lian on her birthday and had such a sweet caption with it

it was something like “my daughter is finally 21 today! i hope she has an amazing day and i can’t wait to see her later tonight to give her a gift :) haneullie, lots of love from jennie eomma”

SPEAKING OF THE GIFT,, jennie bought her a whole ass $9000 necklace from chanel because she knew that lian was looking for more

IM IN TEARS AND SO ARE YOU ADMIT IT RN

jenli kpop bestest duo

dispatch once thought jennie was on a date with a girl but it turned out to just be her walking lian home after going shopping with her so they never posted anything about it

they were embarrassed they got something wrong so i get it

omfg when news came out that lian and jinwoo broke up mama jennie was threatening to punch the shit out of him

KEVIN + LIAN: LIMOON

what i’ve been waiting to write for so long okay here we go

so mf chaotic like there are compilations made of these two that scream “go crazy go stupid”

their time as guest mc’s for inkigayo was probably some of the best kpop content we’d gotten in a long ass time

KEVIN IS CAUTIOUS WHEN LETTING HER MEET HIS MEMBERS

cause she’s such a good friend to him and wtf why would he wanna share

“mine mine mine mine” constant dory vibes 24/7

lian thrives off of calling him by his korean name because she knows it annoys him

he’s constantly teasing her for having bagged milk in toronto so he deserves it

the one time lian and jacob talked to each other they seemed to be getting along too much for kevin’s liking so he really went:

“okay lian isn’t it time for you to go” because he WAS GETTING JEALOUSJCLSJX

their styles are pretty much complete opposites and everytime they take pictures together kevin never forgets to mention how off it all looks

“tf is that why are your clothes so boring”

“okay sNaKe pAnTs” because of that one eric moment on kpop daebak show where he said kevin had pants with snakes on them

ALSO BTW LIANS CLOTHES ARENT FUCKING BORING SHES JUST FANCY LIKE THAT

i’m getting heated let me calm down.

they normally speak in english to each other but since lian seems to be stuttering over her words when she isn’t speaking korean, he mixes in a few korean phrases every now and then to help her out

kevin is arguably the most hype every single time lian performs, like he really thinks there isn’t anything better

LIAN MAKES SURE TO UPDATE HER INSTAGRAM STORY WHENEVER TBZ HAVE A COMEBACK SO NCTZENS GO SUPPORT THEM

LIA + LIAN: LILIA

more lian x the canadian line WOOHOO

lia spent her trainee days really looking up to lian and she’s even mentioned before that she’d love for itzy to get the chance to collab with her for a song

she really has her fingers crossed for that btw

they actually met during an award show when ryujin, chaeryeong and yuna all had to leave because it was past curfew

lian decided to sit next to them and during all the intermissions between performances she, lia and yeji conversed to pass time

they ended up growing a friendship together but lian has a stronger bond with lia

she loves all the girls either way but yk

lia and lian love going to cafes together and taking adorable pictures :(

like whenever lia posts on itzy’s instagram midzeys don’t exactly know whether or not lian would be on it too :0

like lian normally posts all the scenery pictures she gets to keep her instagram pleasing whereas lia posts the pictures the two of them take together

my heart </3

lian treats lia like a whole daughter because it isn’t often she finds girls that are younger than her

*screams in the fact that majority of sm’s female artists are all from 2015 and under*

like when i say lian SPOILS her i’m not joking

she will randomly call lia up like:

“hey i’m gonna get you out of that dungeon, come get some chicken with me”

and then they’ll just hang out together

but only if lian is out of the dungeon herself because wbk she ain’t treated very well </3

EUNWOO + LIAN: WOOLI

their chemistry is fucking insane holy shit

like their acting for past to present was seriously so praised, netizens found it hard to believe it was all just for the show

dating rumours follow these two everywhere,, like everywhere

it’s one of the most popular ships inside ncity when it comes to lian and other idols

i kid you not one tweet said “chanhyeok treated jihye so well in past to present, i’m only wondering how well eunwoo would treat lian 👀”

LIKE STOP PUTTING IDEAS INTO PEOPLES HEADS YOURE KILING ME HERE ISTG

but yeah they do look really good together

and they’re an amazing pair for acting

when eunwoo started working with inyeop for true beauty, he said:

“hyung’s dating my girlfriend” because of the fact that both of them have acted with lian and BOTH of them dated her in the dramas

what a coincidence though

we all cried when we saw chanhyeok and jihye kiss for the first time DONT LIE

EUNWOO FOLLOWS HER ON INSTAGRAM

and they wished each other happy birthday on their instagram stories

there’s actually people who like to think that they dated while filming for past to present andddd they radiate big delulu vibes

like you know liskook shippers? wooli shipped are kinda the same, but not as intense (thank god)

BUT CAN WE BLAME THEM LIKE THEIR CHEMISTRY? THE WAY THEY TALKED TO EACH OTHER? PLEASE

they took a lot of cute pictures together behind the scenes (ノ﹏ヽ)

MOMO + LIAN: LIMO

DANCER DUO DANCER DUO

this ship isn’t actually as popular as we would like it to be, but nonetheless people love limo

a lot of interactions during award shows !!

like for example momo’s fancams always captured her dancing perfectly to lian’s choreo

and lian smiling in momo’s direction

i love them

when lian found out about heechul and momo’s relationship, she asked momo if she was her mom now because of how much of a father figure she considers heechul to be JDFJK

“i mean sure”

they’ve actually done a vlive together before (ᗒᗨᗕ)

it was when lian visited her at the twice dorms and they ended up getting bored so they decided to do a vlive in the living room

THEY PLAYED DARE OR DARE AND LIAN HAD TO DO THE TEARS CHALLENGE (so chan whee) ON MOMOS KARAOKE MACHINE

her throat was dry for the rest of the night

after seeing momo’s hair for the i can’t stop me era, lian actually wanted to cut it like that

but she decided against it because she loves her long hair too much

the two of them met on hit the stage where they competed against each other in a freestyle dance battle

after that they just started casually talking over the phone and became great friends

with the way momo talks about lian, you’d think they’re dating-

“oh, lian- she’s so pretty! i love her a lot!”

and the same goes for lian, she loves talking about momo’s dancing skills

JACKSON + LIAN: JACKLIAN

her dad :/

adopted her with amber liu like a year ago so now she’s just his daughter

supports each other like crazy not even joking

jackson promotes her on instagram and twitter 24/7

THEY HAVE SO MANY INTERACTIONS THANK GOD

lian was once given a ridiculously short dress while attending an award show and jackson gave her his jacket to wear over her legs because she wasn’t provided a blanket :(

(keep in mind, she went there without the members!)

lian added all his music to her playlist :)

once got drunk together and spent like three hours doing karaoke but it’s okay cause it was fun

speaking of getting drunk, jackson’s the cool dad that lets her do whatever she wants

he has his protective moments where he’s like “ma’am where are you going on that short of a dress” but he’s also like “hey wanna go get chicken and soju”

they both appeared on a radio show together as guests and they ruined the whole broadcast because they were too loud

like they kept getting out of their seats to go wave at all the fans outside the window and they were just fighting back and forth about whether or not lian’s extensions look real

according to jackson, they’re “NOT AUTHENTIC ENOUGH- LOVE YOUR HAIR FOR WHAT IT IS, LIANNA HANEUL BAE.” lian’s hair lives matter :/

PLSSS WHEN HYOSEOP AND LIAN STARTED DATING- no

jackson was so proud that his good friend was smooching his other good friend but the protective dad instincts really kicked in

“break her heart and you die no cap”

was surprisingly chill when they broke up though, he was just glad lian didn’t cry

SUNMI + LIAN: SUNLI

SUNMI IS HER MOM OHMYGOD

so many interactions

honestly took lian under wing once she debuted as a soloist

female kpop soloists gotta have each other’s backs in this industry man :(

sunmi calls lian her princess SOBS

lian always hugs sunmi at award shows, like if they’re sitting close together

or if they’re standing next to each other on stage

you bet your ass lian is gripping onto sunmi for dear life

did a photoshoot together for marie claire korea

they’re so hot bro

BUT THEY FIRST MET ON WEEKLY IDOL NOT LONG AFTER LIAN DEBUTED AS A SOLOIST

they were kinda awkward ngl uh

but by the end of it they were besties :DD

and they’ve been besties ever since

lian is the ceo of doing dance covers for sunmi’s songs

cmon lian we’re waiting for tail 👀

sunmi has actually met lian’s grandma </3

like her and lian were hanging out at the dorms while the boys were out on a schedule and her grandma just randomly showed up with homemade food so that was definitely a win

BANG CHAN + LIAN: LICHAN

they’ve been friends for a LOOONGGG time

and chain’s known her since dating back to like, smrookies era when lian was still a red velvet member

like at that time she had no idea he existed, but he was keeping up with her daily :(

chan plays her music on vlives all the time and he always knows the dance moves

like he just dances along in his chair and mumbles the lyrics

we love to see it

a lot of fans ship them together

SURPRISE SURPRSIE AH

only because chan gives off big pining energy

lian only looks at him like “:D” whereas he looks at her like “♡•♡”

kinda sad but

lian promotes him on live so often HVKSVU

“my friend chan is coming back with his group soon, you should check it out! :)”

and the way she just says “my friend chan” LIKE ITS SO OBVIOUSLY A FRIENDZONE BUT HE THINKS ITS ADORABLE

he once got a comment on a vlive to react to lian moments, obviously complying because who wouldn’t

there was this one clip of her saying “my friend chan from stay kids!” and whoever edited the compilation added in squishy noises right after while zooming in on her face

AND CHAN BLUSHED SO HARD NOO

“oh- hahaha, uhh, she’s so cute aw hahahah”

ASHLEY + LIAN: ASHLI

oh god not another lian x mom ship

ASHLEY LOVES LIAN WOAH

like she’s submitted lian’s resume to bm so many times so they could be part of the big tiddie committee together

ashley is constantly, and i mean constantly, reposting all of lian’s posts on her story with captions like “LOOK AT HER GO”

and lian has even discovered all the cool instagram filters because of ashley, and now we get the quality content from her that WE DESERVEEEEE

back when lian’s album came out, all ashley’s story really was was just screenshots of her streaming all the songs and calling them bops

when they first met in person after texting back in forth, ashley spammed her instagram story with pictures of lian that she took without her looking

these two radiate a lot of “YES GIRL WORKKK ITTT TURN THIS WAY OKAYYY POSE POSE POSE” energy

lian’s been featured in one of ashley’s youtube videos and it was when they met for the first time :)

they exchange a lot of gifts through the mail

like lian once found a mug when shopping with doyoung and she thought that it would fit ashley’s taste so she sent it to her apartment

and ever since then they just send random little gifts to each other’s houses

it’s so cute

MATCHING BUCKET HATS THEY HAVE MATCHING BUCKET HATS !!!!!!

ashley talks about lian all the time

she always says that for someone so young, she’s accomplished a lot and she’s really proud of her

they wanna do tiktoks with each other but they never have the time </3

lian spam comments on ashley’s instagram like “WOAH” “OKAYYYY” “YESYESYES”

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