#im so sad i cant watch today FUCK.

[caged-crows]

"but only you" i am LOSING my MIND.

#philever #qsmp #{ snail speaks. #im so sad i cant watch today FUCK. #like im still gonna catch the vods later but still

[fleshdyke]

ahsgsjaugejwjg

#sh/sui warning for tags #been having a shit day and just not feeling great overall and usually drinking water and eating helps but it hasnt today :/ #which means its an Actual Problem this time. like i knew it was an actual problem when i fucking cut AGAIN but idk #idk man. im just so so so scared of my friends hating me #and i know i have to see my partner again bc she is the one and only person that never ever makes me feel safe and unjudged and everything #but idk. as of right now im just not havin a great time. #like its actually so stupid the things i get upset about. there was some motivational speaker at my school today and when we got called down #to go watch the presentation i had to take like five seconds to grab my bag and phone from my desk #and my two friends got up and left together without waiting for me #and i know it wasn’t their intention and they weren’t trying to be mean or anything but man. doesnt make it hurt less yk. #and i saw some post from a guy in my school of him and his friends in the cafeteria and idk why but it made me so sad. it made me think abt #one time my friends said they wanted to walk around at lunch so i was like ok i’ll eat alone that’s fine bc i’m too disabled to walk around #the school. and then someone sent me a pic of them all eating together in the cafeteria. and i know they probably just stopped there for a #second and weren’t purposely ignoring me or anything but man that did not help yk #i want to leave them alone bc they never seem to want to talk to me but im trying to tell myself its just my mind but its so hard to #and i do love my friends and im making them seem a lot worse here than they are but its just. god im so scared. #idk. i dont actually want to die but i wish i could kms like. temporarily. #i know this is bad and manipulative but i just cant shake the want to know what would happen if i did yk. and this is a terrible train of #thought but like i want my friends to realize how scared this makes me and if i have to kms to do that. idk. #ive brought it up to them before and they pretty much told me to eat with someone else and i said i didnt have any other friends and they #kind of just said not my problem. so i dont want to bring it up again bc im mature enough to deal with my own issues and shit #it’s just hard man. i dont know how im supposed to communicate w them bc everything feels like im traumadumping on them and i dont want to #bother them. im trying to convince myself its not an issue and it doesnt actually bother me but i know it does bc i just fucking relapsed #and i had a city council thing in class today and i was the only person that was denied any funding at all and i was trying not to take it #personally and i was doing pretty good but i told my mom about it and she started defending the ppl that refused me anything and then it was #suddenly personal to me for some reason. its stupid and i know that but god that doesnt make it any better #rambles #vent

[opens-up-4-nobody]

I honestly don't know if I could have earned my undergrad degree if not for YouTube teaching videos and text to speech features for reading pdfs

#i just cannot read. too dyslexic. #god. if i could read i would be unkillable. i could code. i could learn abt lots of things #u dont understand how discouraging it is to spend hours trying to read a paper and just retaining none of it #i love to learn. i just wish everything with audio. except i also have issues with audio lol so i need the written and the verbal #i was just watching a video on jaccard similarly for a micobial network analysis thing #i spent hours today trying to understand the code description and then i do to a video description of jaccard #and im like oh. that fucking makes sense its just scoring the fucking overlap across samples dumbass #god bless the people making those videos. they got me thru math and chem and cell bio and stats and r coding #if i lived in any pre internet time idk what id do. not be an academic i guess #bc if i had to read physical books i would cry everyday and get no where #sometimes. dyslexia. makes. me. sad. #my dyslexia assessment says im smart when not constrained by language and time. which is like cool. fucking. that's really annoying #i crumble under time constraints and i cant intake or articulate info. great. rip #ugh. annoying. shout out to my dad for afflicting me with this curse. the dyslexia genes r so fucking strong from his family #me. my sisters and my cousin r all varying degrees of dyslexic #if u ask me to read and unknown word aloud its extremely embarrassing. im like a 4 year old guessing at words lol #i have 2 advanced stem degrees and very low reading comprehension #i love to read. i just wish i could read #unrelated

[gonfrees]

seems like we are at the crying part of the illness.

#we can postpone cjristmas #gonna talk in da tags for a bit because a post full of perosmal info feels so gross #ive been crying on and off for hours. km so upset being atuck in my fucking room with covid while nobody else is sick at all #and im glad nonody is sick im just so fucking lonely #started symptoms on friday #twsted neg fri and sat. didnt test sundah cause i dont have a lot. tested monday and was psorive #literally slept with my bf all of those nights #shared weed pen on sunday with ofher roommate #nobody else is sick #i just feel so sad and tired. im used to himan or cat affection daily and ive had none. i feel so lonley and trapped #i did everythjng right to avoid being sick and my bf was also with me that whole day and he didnt get sick #i feel stupid weak and pathetic for gettinf sixk. i dont have symptoms anymore but atill positive #im so fucking sad and i can hear people hanging out and they are havjng fun and im glad but im jealous #im so sad and lonely. i want to wrap things for christmas and do more stockjng sruffer shopping. i want to watch movjes with people #i love holidays because i love to hang out with my friends and i fucking cant amd today especially its really tearing me up #my bf is upset that im no communicating and hes trying to cheer me up but everything is making me misribke and i dont know how to stop it #i like to do things for people when theyre sick and i know everyone isnt like me but it hurts to not have that done for me #offering to order food is nice bjt j want skmething made for me but nkbody is as good as i am at making things and i dont want to ask #i dont want to bother people but im literally breakkng down today. cant atop fucjing crying and i feel weak and pathetic. stupid #i tried so hard not to get sick and they are saying o dont want to fucking do that #id rather everyone open stockjngs and do presents without me because im tired of not saying what i got people i want tk show people #i like wrapping gifts and nobody wants me to toich anything because of cocid so others are wrapping things from me for me #i dont know its all very stupid but i feel very alone but also dont want people joking at me to make me feel better. im just mad and sad #ok im done now:) ill post a drawing later #nap time #text

[toastsnaffler]

iwtv is rly getting to me 😭 I feel sooo bad for claudia no one tell me anything bc idk the book lore + I dont want spoilers but istg she's gonna kill herself in that theatre fire...

#saved from the fire to become a vampire only to die in another one innit.... its so beautifully cyclical #and they keep hinting at it.... augh my heart #the lestat stuff is sooo sad too.. but also i like this new side to louis i like that hes kind of becoming lestat in his absence #so juicy.. #armand is so fucking insecure but also i cant hate a bitch with rsd. been there girlie #and YESSSS finally molloy backstory next week... yahoo #its rly nice to have a show to watch weekly. i need to find smth to carry on doing that with when this series ends #anyway... still very sad but it doesnt have such an edge ive been much calmer today #even if i do keep randomly having to put my head in my hands and sniffle a bit. but its not vicious its just kind of echoing #like itll keep spiralling back but itll be a bit lighter every time. so long as nothing else triggers me 👍 touch fucking wood #man it takes it out of me tho im so exhausted #i hope my roommates okay i havent seen her this evening. which is maybe for the best bc i probably wouldve started crying around her #but i did want to small talk a little at least and let her know im really not mad at her and im sorry for the way ive been lately #and we could go from there. even if its not really my fault either. just difficult being a person innit. sigh #but i hope shes ok i miss her #ah i should get ready for bed.. ill probably read a little bc its too early to go to sleep yet #okayyyy bye #.diaries

[lesbiankingphil]

Tbh I don't think I was ever meant to exist at all. I nearly died twice the day I was born. I've struggled with my mental health since I was 12. I have tons of physical health problems that just get worse and leave me in so much pain I can barely move at all. Every single time I try to do something to make my life better it somehow gets fucked up and my life just gets worse. I don't believe in "signs" and shit but idk maybe all the bad things that have happened to me are just signs from the universe that I never was supposed to be alive at all?

#idk just ignore me im just upset bc i still have a million things I need to do with such little time to do them #im in so much fucking pain my joints all hurt my back is totally messed up again my chest and ribs hurt its been hard to breathe for days #i keep feeling like im going to faint im sad and anxious too I feel like i cant move but i can only take very short breaks at a time bc #i have so much shit to get done but all i want to do is lay in bed hug my cat and watch our fave show but i cant #i would think by Friday at the latest we should know if we are gonna be homeless and if we are im just ending it bc im too sick to be able #to be homeless i cant handle it in any way at all #delete later #sorry todays just been really really bad

[quodekash]

FUUUUUUUUUUUCKing hell theyre gonna kiss today????

hes so grumpy already I love this so much

the silent conversations chain and toey are having with their eyes oml I cant

pls this is so funny

theyre both deeply in love with someone else so it's jsut so unnatural to them

BUT ALSO id like to mention that the first thing chain did when he had to pretend to be hitting on toey was put his arm around his shoulders and rest his hand there. which is what he's literally ALWAYS doing with pun, no matter when it is, he's always standing next to pun with his hand resting on one of his shoulders

its like he associates his time with pun as being in a romantic relationship 👀

THESE FUCKIN BASTARDS 😭

JUST KISS IM BEGGING YOU

theyre lost in their own little world 🥺

kiIIIIIS

this is too funny, the cuts from "chain. chain what happened next." to ✨soulful dramatic guitar music✨

im sad they didnt actually kiss but also im not surprised

LOOK AT THEM, DUDE

THEYRE SO NATURAL WITH EACH OTHER

I FUCKIN LOVE FRIENDS TO LOVERS SO SO MUCH

half convinced theyre already dating, they just cant be bothered saying anything so theyre waiting for others to ask them about it

PUN IS SO CUTE DUDE I ADORE HIM HES FUCKING ADORABLE

I LOVE THEM SO FUCKING MUCH THEYRE SOIMPORTANT TO ME

if I ever have a romantic partner, this is what I want

I cant explain it, I just wanna run up to them with pure joy and excitement, and for them to hold me back by just pushing against my skull

it just seems perfect, idk why

GB4JHERGB

THE FRIENDSHIP OF ALL TIME

genuinely think I might be more invested in their friendship than all the romantic relationships in this show

im fucking CRYING

my king matt, this was so unnecessary and I love everything about it

why does it suit him so well tho

they should kiss again I think

I feel everything about this image on a spiritual level

THIS ENTIRE AMUSEMENT PARK SEQUENCE BRINGS ME SO MUCH JOY AND DOPAMINE IM IN LOVE WITH THSI EPUSODE

NEW COMFORT EPISODE UNLOCKED

look its really funny but I do feel bad cos this day is not even a little bit fun for him

like q is having a complete shit time

poor chain doesn't love amusement parks but he has to go on the rides with toey to keep up the facade cos toey loves these rides 😭

and its even worse realising Q also seems to love amusement parks, so he would be having a fucking amazing time if he could just go on all the rides next to Q cos they both love it so much 😭😭

fuckin FINALLY

LMAO WHAT

THIS IS SO FUCKING FUNNY I JUST SCREECHED WITH LAUGHTER SO LOUD AND ITS MIDNIGHT

THE PURE COMICAL SHOCK AS HE REALISDE WHAT HE SAID, THE EXCITEMENT FROM EVERYONE ELSE AS THEYR EALISE WHAT HE SAID

I mean to be fair it was REALLY obvious

im surprised no one noticed earlier but also its a bl so im not at all surprised to find out theyre all fuckin dumbasses

SERIOUSLY THO TANFANG IS WHAT I WANT IN A RELATIONSHIP HOLY SHIT

a lot of the time watching bls ill be like "I want that" but its usually as a joke

but THIS?? the fucking adhd bastard (me) who just wants to be near their partner and compliment and always stimming and just having a swell fucking time while the other one loves them but is mildly tired but also in adoration? FUCKIN GIMME

also how the fuck has Q not realised, theyre all so fucking obvious

also also I cant explain it it just feels deeply as though pun and chain are for real dating they just havent told anyone yet

ill make a post about it all at some point maybe (I definitely wont)

PHYSICAL TOUCH IS HIS LOVE LANGUAGE 😭😭😭

I LOVE THEM SO MUCH HE DOESNT HAVE TO HOLD HIM SECRETLY ANYMORE THEY CAN JUST WALK HAND IN ARM NATURALLY NOW

hear me out tho, this gets even funnier if he's actually already in a committed relationship that no one knows about yet

I dont think it's secret dating, it's just 'not super obvious dating to try and see JUST how oblivious all our friends are. its been three years at this point and still no one's said anything. we're starting to lose all hope.'

I love tan so much, the little wave

what the FUCK

what the FUCK FUCK???

THE SOUNDWIN LINE????

HERE IT IS ITS FUCKIN COMIN GUYS

HE SAID IT

HE FUCKIN SAID IT

[insert that gif of the crowd of people in the bar going insane]

holy fucking shit dude holy fucking shit

my legs are literally shaking idk if I can do this

FUCK TO THE YES, FUCKING EXPLICIT ASK FOR CONSENT HOLY FUCKING SHIT

WHAT THE FUCK

AND THE FUCKING SONG IN THE BACKGROUND !!!!

HOLY FUCKING SHIT DUDE

im gonna be here all day

I dont even need to watch the rest of the episode now

I can just go to bed if I want and watch the rest later or smth

dude I cant wait for q to realise that toey is milk frappe guy

HOLY FUCKING SHIT IT JUST PROCESSED IN MY MIND THAT THEY KISSED

WHAT THE FUCK

omg making out in a haunted house, what a dream

the workers watching on the security cameras probably had a blast that day

how funny would it be if there'd been a scare actor in the shadows in that room with them and they'd been about to scare them but they were too shocked with that tender kiss to remember they have a job

he needs to lie on his bed and just stare at his roof and think about that for a while

tbh same

look at him 🥺 he's so lost in that memory

thEY FUCKIN MADE OUT HOLY FUCK

welp on that note I think im done for now

I might finish the ep with my silly thoughts+screenshots later but for now tis the time for sleep

#quodekash's side couple syndrome boss fight #we are series #cant wait for that song to come out on Spotify and I can listen to it on repeat for several days #qtoey #winnysatang #satang kittiphop #winny thanawin #tanfang #aouboom #marcpoon #chainpun #aou thanaboon #boom tharatorn #marc natarit #poon mitpakdee #we are the series

[luvyeni]

SEX FASHION AND GUITARS — chapter 24. im sorry !

𐙚 pairings. rockstar!jaemin x stylist!reader

synopsis. l/n y/n fashion major and photographer on the side who says what she wants, na jaemin music major and lead guitar player for underground band DREAM. After yn forgets her to change her account and says something that catches the eye of jaemin she tries to ignore him — expect thanks to chenle she now works for them.

word count. 1594

“that’s so sad.” Winter traveled behind you holding a few of the outfits. “so he’s leaving in two weeks.” You nodded, opening the door to the set. “yup.” You sighed.

You could feel the tension filling the room as you walked in; sitting the clothes down. “what the fuck is up with the energy today.” Winter spoke up. “it’s been a bit uncomfortable.” Mark chuckled nervously, scratch the back of his neck.

“yes we can see, why?” you said. “because of you.” Chenle said. “why because of me?” you said. “haechan and renjun stopped talking to jaemin because of what happened and now they’re divided and jaemin just bought another girl and set them off.”

Hearing he brought another girl made your heartbreak just a bit— you didn’t even know what was going inside your mind at the moment; you were upset that hanbin was leaving soon, and that jaemin was here with another girl. “well we cant have that can we, we have shit to do.” You walked over to sulking haechan and renjun, who had his hands folded. “yn.”

“no.” renjun said. “just apologize.” Haecann scoffed. “why he was the one being a dick?” you rolled your eyes. “and I told you I was fine, don’t worry about it, now when he gets back, all three of you need to apologize before chenle loses his shit.” You said. “but— no buts, do it.” You said, starring them down. “fine.” Renjun said, you smiled. “haechan?” he looked at you. “whatever, but im not apologizing to her, I meant what I said.”

“what did you say?” before he could answer the door open— jaemin and the girl you assumed is who mark was talking about walking through. “I text you later.” He whispered. “of course you will, now go apologize and make up.” You said. “renjun you too.” He got up walking over to the boy. “thank you.” Jisung said, you shrugged. “I got to go get set up.”

“im sorry.” Haechan said, standing in front of jaemin. “you should be, what you said was rude.” Eunbin held on to jaemins arm. “well I wasn’t really apologizing to you.” He whispered. “haechan.” You slapped him on the back of the head. “hurry up so you can get dressed.”

Hearing your voice made jaemins heart flutter. “yeah im sorry too.” Jaemin said. “I shouldn’t have let things get out of hand.” You shoved haechan. “give him a handshake.” Haechan held his hand out. “good.” Watching them shake hands.

“go get dressed, winter is waiting for you.” Haechan whined. “she scares me.” You glared at him. “now.” He stomped away. “stop acting like a child.” Jaemin waiting for you to turn back around. “im eunbin, jaemins girlfriend.” Jaemin could see the shock in your eyes. “girlfriend?”

“she’s— yeah, we just started dating.” Her tone seemed like a warning— like she was telling you to back off. “yn.” Jaemin said, you stopped him, not really wanting to be in his present. “im gonna go help mark, winter has your outfit, go to her.” You turned to walk away, jaemin wanted to chase after you, eunbin grabbed his arm. “shes a bit of bitch yeah?” she scoffed. “she didn’t even say anything to me.” Jaemin looked at the girl— slowly realizing it was a mistake bringing eunbin. “I have to go get dressed.” He slid the girls arm off, basically throwing it to her side. “jaemin?” — he was already walking away.

“yo this this is sick.” Mark looked in the mirror, he was the last one. “yo, you’re really talented.” You laughed. “thank you mark.” You gave him the finishing touches, you could hear eunbin nagging behind you, whining to jaemin about something, the rest of the guys rolling their eyes in annoyance, you chuckled watching jeno put two fingers to his head in a gun motion.

“just know that girl isn’t jaemins girlfriend.” He whispered. “they met like two days ago.” You let out a low sigh, it did kind of make you feel better— at least he wasn’t dating her. “jeno told me to tell you, he’s still yours.”

“mark— are you stupid.” You heard winter say, making you turn around. “why do you keep touching him like that?” you could see winter boiling with anger. “im fixing his belt, trust me, he’s all yours” She said. “you don’t need to touch him.” Winter stood up. “listen bitch you can go sit down and let me do my damn job— how else am I supposed to do that with your hot ass breath down my neck, complaining.”

“bitch?” eunbin exclaimed, winter nodded. “yes bitch, go home, you’re making everyone uncomfortable.” Your friend fought back.

“jaemin please get her.” You seen jisung getting stressed, both of your friends getting upset, pissing you off. “mind your business jisung.” You handed mark his belt, walking away, he could finish getting himself dress— and mark seen the scary look in your eyes, and definitely didn’t want to piss you off. “don’t talk to them, like that.” you jumped in. “of course you have something to say.”

“yeah, cause you’re cursing at my friends, what the fuck is your issue?” you said. “just don’t want any girl touching what’s mine.” It was so laughable that you laughed, straight in her face. “it’s funny?” she said. “yeah, it is.” You said. “jaemin let’s go, we don’t need this.” She said. “he needs to be here.” The guys finally spoke up. “just reschedule it, until they’re both not here.”

“if you got a problem with it, you go, this is my job and she’s here with me.” You said. “he’s the only person that needs to be here, not you, so go.” You said. “why so you can whore yourself in front of him , I’ve seen your messages.” She said. “have you seen the dates as well you crazy bitch, I haven’t talked to him in like a month.”

“I know girls like you, whores who tries and get with other girls boyfriends.” Jaemin grabbed the girls wrist. “jaemin!” he was in the red in the face. “don’t fucking talk about her like that.” He said. “and we aren’t dating, I don’t get why you keep saying that.” Her jaw dropped. “jaemin, you said— I was drunk.” He said coldly. “is it because of this slut.”

“you call me out my name again and you’ll be walking out of here with more than a brokenheart.” You said, jisung holding your hand to keep you from stepping forward. “eunbin go home.” Jaemin said. “I can’t believe you’re taking up for her right now.” Renjun scoffed. “I can.”

“go.” He said, she turned to you. “you two are perfect for each other.” She grabbed her stuff, rushing out. “good riddance.” Haechan spoke up. “haechan shut up.” Mark pulled him away. “we’re an hour off schedule, fucking great.” Chenle said. “everyone back to work now!” you huffed returning back to your station — jaemin was about to follow you when winter grabbed him. “shes really pissed off next and she has scissors , I say wait.” He sighed , watching you from afar.

During the shoot jaemin kept an eye on you, watching you as you helped the photographers with lightening, doing anything to keep yourself busy— something he knew you did when you were upset; he wanted to hug you right then and there and apologize, but being the coward he was coming to realize he was, couldn’t.

The shoot was finally over; you were ready to go home, you had been texting hanbin all day and he was so excited about packing and new york, you couldn’t even bring yourself to tell him about the situation, keeping all your frustrations to yourself. “im heading home.” You said. “we were going to go get drinks, you don’t want to come?” renjun said.

“no not tonight.” You said. “had a long day.” Jaemin watched you pack all your things up. “I already called an uber.” You said. “have fun.” Jaemin felt someone push him, he turned around. “nows the time to apologize.” Jisung whispered, watching you carry all your luggage out. “go.”

He followed behind you, before you could reached the door, he caught up to you, letting out a awkward cough. “I , um I can help you.” He said. “you don’t have to.” You tried to kick at the door to get it to open; he almost laughed at how cute you look, trying to stubbornly kick the door open. “don’t stand there and look smug, open the door.”

He bit back a smile; opening the door. “don’t expect a thank you.” You said, he helped pick up a bag. “i see that as a thank you.” He said. “and should I see that as a sorry then?” you said, he went silent, before speaking. “I really am.” He said. “sorry, I’m an idiot and you didn’t deserve that.”

“you really hurt my feelings jaemin.” You said. “I know I did, im a dick.” You nodded. “you are.” You said. “but I really am sorry.” He said, you sighed. “give it a few days and apologize again, im still pissed off at you.” Your uber finally pulled up. “and when you do apologize again, make sure it's not when your friend isn’t there to call me a slut.”

He watched you get into the car — waving as you drove off. You really were gonna make him work for it; he still couldn’t help but smile.

At least you talked to him— that’s getting somewhere.

previous - masterlist - next

TAGLIST (CLOSED). @nominsgirl @haechansbbg @axo-l0tl @darlingz99 @hollxe1 @lostinneocity @lovebuglissas @stars4yulia @syzavxy @kgyam4 @trashx678 @jarrofkookie @fae-renjun @cloudmrk @iheartjayke @foxy-kitsune @kriizztin @bugcattie @thisisnotjacinta

©️LUVYENI

#kpop x reader #nct fanfic #nct x reader #nct x female reader #nct fake texts #nct fic #nct smau #nct dream fake texts #nct dream smau #nct dream fanfic #nct dream ff #nct dream fic #nct dream social media au #na jaemin fic #na jaemin x reader #jaemin fanfic #jaemin fic #jaemin fake texts #jaemin x reader #jaemin smau

[st4rc4t]

hasan piker x weed smoking reader hcs

disclaimer! i do not condone underage marijuana usage!! this is just something silly for ppl who do/have smoked weed before. if ur under 21 in the united states don’t do it !!!

cw: marijuana usage, friends to lovers sorta idk the situation is weird, autistic coded reader ? it kinda just happens, semi pining, gn!reader

wc: 1.1k+

a/n: just me and my 3 weed smoking gfs

most of his friends in the youtube/twitch scene also smoke weed so he doesn’t really care

he smokes occasionally but only at night to help wind down a little bit

he doesnt mind the smell but he really hates when his clothes and hair smell like it

so when he’s around you make sure you’re either outside or blowing it out of a window

you never smoke inside his house

he didn’t ask you not to, you just assumed he wouldn’t like it

he doesnt and it makes him blush a little at ur consideration

whenever you get high and he doesn’t, he never says “omg ur so high” while ur trying to talk

cus like . yeah obviously that was the point ! and its not like ur completely different while high, just a little floatier and it takes you a minute to get thru ur sentences

but you talk about pretty much the same stuff and he loves talking to you

and u laugh a lot he likes that too

dont tell anyone tho

you looove getting high with him its such a special treat

ull be gathering ur paraphernalia to take out on the patio and he wanders out of his stream room looking like the sad hamster

he sees you getting ready, getting a bottle of juice and such and asks if he can join u

gasp of course he can !!!!!

asking how fucked up he wants to get so you know the best method of smoke delivery

he wants to sleep Good tonight so indica in the bong it is !

he’s nervous ab the bong so u bring out a bowl too incase he gets cold feet

he watches you get comfy in your seat outside, a comfortable warmth from the california setting sun

arranging everything ready on the table

“you look like a tweaker”

“im gonna make you a tweaker if ur not careful”

he laughs but he keeps watching you carefully pick out a healthy portion from the large bud you have, pushing it into the prongs of your grinder and twisting the two pieces against each other

he watches you pour the contents of a reusable water bottle into the large glass piece, eyeing the level of water

he watches you stop and put it to your lips, taking a pretend hit and making sure the water level is good

he watches you carefully pack the ground up flower into both bowl pieces, using your fingers to pat it level and dusting the excess back into the grinder with each one

you notice him staring but dont say anything until you’re already done

you make him an offering, bong and bowl in each respective hand. eyebrows raised as if to say, “which are we feeling?” but when he continues staring at the contents of your hands, you actually speak.

“dude are you already high, whats going on?” you laugh cautiously, genuinely a little worried but keeping it light hearted. he seems to snap out of it at your voice.

his eyes dart around for a second as he reenters his surroundings, chuckling when your word’s finally register, “no, yeah- sorry… really long day today,” his words fizzle out as he goes along. you cant help but feel bad, you dont know how he deals with streaming sometimes. you also feel weird about giving him a mind altering substance while he already seems spaced out.

setting the pieces down safely on the table, you look at him seriously before speaking, “are you sure you wanna do this? you’re kinda out of it,” you’re hard trying not to sound condescending, but you doubt he can read your tone that well right now anyway.

he smiles the most minuscule amount and looks away, but you see it. “yeah, im sure,” he sighs out gently before continuing, “i need to empty my brain,” he finishes by looking back to you with already tired eyes. you nod in understanding, relishing in knowing exactly how to fix his problem.

picking up the little glass bowl and a lighter, you hand both to him. they instantly look tiny in his hand and you’re not sure how he’s gonna actually do this. after realising you gave him green hit, you remind him to take a small hit. he just rolls his eyes sarcastically and scoffs, like of course he would, but you both know he would’ve blown a lung.

you watch him fumble with the glass, trying to get a good grip that covers the carb and wont burn his hand when he lights it

he eventually gets it and takes a little corner hit

a bit bigger than he was expecting tho so he does that thing where u cough the smoke out

just awful btw

u give him some water hes fine but boy does he love to complain

u just laugh at him and take ur own hit

breathing in deep, holding it for a second, and letting it go watching it escape into the open air

when he sees other people smoke it usually feels more rushed and energetic, like they were trying to ingest as much thc in as little time as possible

but you take your time. gathering everything and getting comfortable, settling into the ritual of the action. you take your time and let yourself feel it, you take your time and make sure he’s fully prepared before offering him anything

oh no he likes you !

he does end up hitting the bong but like the smallest baby hit so it doesn’t even count

he is sooo silly when hes high loves to laugh

he will def devolve into political rants if you let him, but you’re pretty good at making him laugh and redirecting him when hes like this

bc he smoked an indica this time his eyes are even more droopy than they were before and you can tell he’s getting tired

you clean up and follow him back inside amd he goes completely baby mode at the sight of kaya sleeping on the couch

petting her and pressing his face into her fur, going on and on about how soft she is

you laugh and sit on the other end of the big sectional covered in pillows and blankets

when hes done melting into kaya he sits down next to u with his arm around the back of the couch

real smooth .

it works 1000%

watching smth stupid like family guy (genuinely my fave show while high i will not elaborate)

chilling until he decides to go to bed at like 8:30

he convinces u to sleep on the couch bc ur both too high to drive and he would freak out at the thought of u in an uber rn

okay i have to be done i basically wrote a oneshot in the middle bye bye

#hasabi posting #hasanabi #hasanabi x reader #hasan piker x reader #hasan piker #my writing

[core4writes]

Hiii... can you maybe write a story were y/n is very reckless and always get herself in danger and colby have enough of that and like fuck her roughly cause he is frustrated with her then later break down and admit his fear of losing her ..... idk if you are writing though and if you are comfortable with the whole thing.... feel free to ignore it if you don't!

Either way thank you!❤️

i will be glad to do it! i have never written smut before so i think ill just skip that part till i get better at it.

Reckless

warning: sad ig, mentions of drug substance, mentions of alcohol

stuff in bold are flashbacks

pairing: Colby Brock x reader fem pronouns



y/n pov:

this past week all i have been doing is going to party to party with kat and stas, and everyday i am greeted with a hangover. i wake up in bed today with a deadly headache, the sun shining in my face. i pull the blankets hoping to decrease the aggravating pain in my head, the blankets were ripped off of me. "No more." i heard colby voice and open my eye slightly.

"what do you mean no more?" with confusion i sit up, colby is still staring at me with anger. i can just tell when he is angry, he breathes  more heavy. "No more partying, i have had enough." i look at him with a sly smile "what did i do this time? oh wait did i throw up on you again? sorry if i did." i laugh it off.

"im serious y/n. do you remember nothing that happened last night?" he points at me "you could have died."

flashback 

me, stas, kat, sam and colby were at the las Vegas bar called 'XS Nightclub' the hot spot for partying. i down my 9th shot of vodka with kat and stas and we went out into the dance floor, sam and colby stay at the bar watching us.

third person pov:

colby leaned over to sam "do you see a change in y/n?" sam wanted to say no i mean y/n is one of his close friends she will never change, but he didnt want to lie to his best friend. "yeah dude, but if she is happy-" sam was cut off by colby "y/n didnt even like alcohol but now look at her, downing it like its nothing." colby sighs

sam and colby looks at y/n on the dance floor, y/n swings her hips to the music. someone tapped her on her shoulder, "excuse me, where are the bathrooms?"

y/n can not hear over the loud music "what? oh, its over there let me show you." y/n pointed to the entrance "okay." the tall girl says and then they just disappear.

colby thinks nothing of it because he trust his girlfriend, "man, i need another shot."

hours go by and stas and kat come back to sam and colby, "guys, we cant find y/n." colby looked at kat and stas with eyes wide open and his face went pale. "wait, what do you mean you cant find her she was just with you." stas looked at colby, "yeah but she went to show some girl the bathroom and never came back."

sam, colby, kat and stas looked everywhere for y/n. they didnt find her till they saw her outside the club walking down the street. "y/n, where are you going." colby runs up to y/n, "im going to the gas station im hungry." she said whiny.

"we are going home." colby says

end flashback

y/n pov:

"oh... im sorry." my voice quieted down

"sorry? your sorry? you could have gotten hurt, like kidnapped or hit by a bus." colby voice yelled.

"well im here now so." i said

"im scared of you leaving me okay? you change into this party animal and im scared of just losing you, the old you. And you don't talk to me about your problems anymore you're just so reckless. I need you,I need you to be here with me physically and mentally." colbys voice cracked.

The silence was heavy for minutes.

"I didn't know you felt like that. "Should've told me about that sooner I would understand." I say.

Colby crawls on the bed next to me, sobbing."I just don't wanna lose you." colby cries into my chest. "i know baby i know."

"i love you."

it was a little bit rushed at the end, my first writing piece ever hope I didn't do bad.💕

#colby brock x reader #fanfic #imagines #writing #colby brock #sam and colby #core 4 #wattpad #fiction #oneshots #scenarios #smut

[peachyloveswriting]

u do murderiplier with a reader that has ADHD please im begging you????? like the reader just has a hard time sitting still and just like remembering things and is always jumping from one thing to another and is just like cant focus plllss

FOCUS --- (Murderiplier x reader)

SUMMARY: Being ADHD does not help when you a killers apprentice. Yet here you are, sobbing your eyes out to a man who might not even care.

CONTENT: angst, self doubt, fluff.

NOTES: not so fun fact, I am severely ADHD so I just based this off of how mine can get sometimes. It's a little sad ik but there's a cute ending.

⸝⸝⸝⸝⸝

Pinching the bridge of his nose Murdoc sighed. Even through his darkened sunglasses you could still tell he was disappointed. The best killer in the world and his apprentice can't even match his level. You knew you shouldn't have started working with him but you'd already tried everything under the sun. He finds it difficult to deal with you enough as is and you know he's going to kick you out soon enough. Now, everytime he speaks you jump. Your lips fall into a thin line and you advert your gaze else where. All you ever did was cause the man issues and you knew he just has to hate you. Sometimes you'd find him staring at you in what looked like disgust. Nausea crawls up your spine, the thought of yourself like a bad after taste.

"Fuck." He groans. Wiping the blood from your brow, you bite your lip and turn to leave. Splices of pain alive through your feet with every step reminding you just how annoying you are. Knowing the cops will arrive soon, you make your way out the door sluggishly taking the knife with you while Murdoc watches you with a pitiful gaze. He knows you can't help it when you get excited, and he can't be mad at you for that but you cost him a lot now. Not that you cared enough to pay any attention to that once you got into those self deprecating state of minds. Dreading what's to come he trails after you to the car and gets in with you.

Once you got moving on the road everything was a blur, the thought whirling around your head like a tsunami if hatred and embarrassment. Jumping out of the car was a better choice than this, but no matter how hard you fight to reach for that handle the fear clings to you more. It's all you can do not to scream your fucking lungs out. Murdoc senses your lingering disappointment, the silence is gagging him like a noose. You're just a kid, you don't belong in his line of work and you don't belong with him. At the same time he knows he should let you go but he just can't do it, not when you're so much like him.

"Kid I-" The silence is sharply broken by a dull and broken voice. "Do you hate me doc?" You ask. Your heart throbs in your chest as choked sobs slip past your wet lips. It's hard to keep contained when all you can feel is a compression of such depreciating and sad thoughts. A need to be swooned like a baby, to be held on someone's arm take you whole and you curl into yourself. Looking at you sparing he rests a hand on your shoulder and squeezes firmly. It's never been this bad before. By now you should have been on a completely different subject, telling him all about the thing you know and ideas you hold in that big ol' brain of yours.

"No." He finally says. Looking back at the road he takes a moment to recollect his thoughts. His singular work however didn't help your case anymore. Looking out the window you watch the buildings rush by, they remind you just how fleeting each moment it. It's quite similar to your thoughts, in fact you can't help but look on in disarray as you mind jumps from place to place.

"Can we pick up something to eat?" You quietly ask. He frowns at how quiet your voice is. The small rasp at the end tugs his heart strings even more. You've dealt with enough of his bad support today as is, he can't handle seeing you so down when you're normally not. "Sure kid. Of course." Your heart thrums happily in your chest and you wipe your teary eyes. "Really?" You ask. It's almost like you expected him to say no, you've never asked before though. When he glances at you his stomach does flips, you have a small smile tugging at your lips as you look at him with adoration in you eyes. "Thank you."

⸝⸝⸝⸝⸝

Smells of fast food fills the car as home grows closer. You're smiling and dipping you hands into the warm bag of food in your lap. Looking over at you Murdoc feels content with himself, a feeling he's long forgotten since child hood. To see you bring this back to him warms him with joy. In a way, you're like his kid more than his apprentice and he could never trade you for anything. Even if you're hyper sometimes. "I love you kid." The sound of his gruff voice pulls your attention to him. Eyes wide like a deer caught in headlights you stare at him in awe. When he looks over to see your face he cracks a smile. "Don't look at me like that squirt."

You chortle as his choice on nickname. "Squirt?" He nods and stares out at the road ahead. "You mean like mad dad did to my mom when he-"

Muffled cackling ensues as he slaps a hand over your mouth. "Too far!" He claims. You just stick your tongue out to lick the palm of his hand. Giggling like a loon you watch as he vigorously wipes your saliva on his pants. "Really?" He exclaims. Snorting, you cup your own hand over your mouth to take a deep breath before letting out another wheeze. "It's not that funny." He deadpans. Letting out one last giggle, you smile. "I love you too, doc."

#Murderiplier #markiplier x reader #markiplier egos x reader #ahwm x reader #iswm x reader #markiplier cinematic universe

[deedala]

✨weekly tag wednesday✨

weekly tagly wednesdly?? lolol thanks for todays game and thanks for tagging me @darlingian!! and @energievie!! <<3333

About you name: deanna age: noel-aged (which isnt old actually, stop being weirdos) starsign: scorpio your first language: english second language: right now the only other language i might be able to have a little convo with you in is norwegian favourite lip product: blistex medicated mint lip balm the best food dish you can make without a recipe: pico de gallo yum yum If you drink tea, what kind?: peppermint If you drink coffee, what roast do you usually get?: light roast (i didnt know about that being more caffeine!! But yay!) favourite thing to watch on youtube right now: mike’s mic’s appropriately unhinged tv show summaries favourite thing to watch on youtube in 2012: i dont have a fuckin clue lol. All i did in 2012 was work at and manage a barber shop well over 40 hours a week, experience a fucked up pregnancy, got traumatized, and played mass effect 3. favourite item of clothing right now: my black joggers favourite item of clothing in 2012: uhmm…green cardigan was something i wore a lot to work cuz it looked extra cute with my red hair. (i had red hair in 2012!)

fandom three movies you recommend: The Fall (2006), Love and Monsters, Palm Springs your favourite concert: went to a ton of dmb shows a youth which were always insane levels of fun have you ever unfollowed someone over a fandom opinion?: oh for sure, im here to enjoy myself lol have you ever left a fandom because of the fans?: i dunno what i consider leaving a fandom? I guess maybe i dont JOIN them very often (ie make friends and participate in events and such) so no i’ve never really left one as the only two i consider myself really being a part of is dragon age and shameless? the best tv show you watched last year: hmmmm….the fall of the house of usher (i have such a short fucking memory i dont know what came out earlier in the year sorry lol) do you have a fancasting you just can't let go of?: not that i can think of off the top of my head… a ship you've abandoned: uuhhmm…also cant really think of one? on a scale of 1-10 how willing are you to share your ao3 history?: oh zerooooo. Its all rather tame, i just am not willing to lay my fucking soul bare thanks lolol do you have a fandom tattoo? i dont have any tattoos which i will probably go to my grave being sad about because i have so far failed at every meager attempt to get one. what fandom do you wish was bigger?: on one hand it might be fun to have more folks around in shameless but also i know our tiny friendly tumblr bubble is what keeps things playful, so i dunno… maybe uuhhmm the expanse?  has a finale ever ruined a show for you?: how i met your mother was pretty bad. I think even worse for me was Chuck. have you... swam in an ocean?: yes been vegan/vegetarian?: i’ve been a vegetarian for 28 years gone skinny dipping?: yes gone skiing?: no been to a convention?: so so so many

now my precious nuggets, please accept this tag and either play along or just know that i am gently squishing your face in my hands @too-schoolforcool @michellemisfit @heymrspatel @heymacy @metalheadmickey @crossmydna @tanktopgallavich @sam-loves-seb @jrooc @gardenerian @mickeysgaymom @softmick @howlinchickhowl @the-rat-wins @lingy910y @sickness-health-all-that-shit @gallawitchxx @mybrainismelted @juliakayyy @creepkinginc @whatwouldmickeydo @suzy-queued @squirrel-fund @tsuga-of-mars @transmickey @sleepyfacetoughguy @palepinkgoat @themarchg1rl @purplemagpie @thepupperino @callivich @rereadanon @grumble-fish @ardent-fox @thisdivorce @lee-ow @iansw0rld @ritualpyre @vintagelacerosette @rosemacclare @maizzycakes @7x10mickey @rrapp @gofionaonthem @suchagallabitch

#weekly tag wednesday #tag game

[pixiecaps]

what did you think of q!quackity's lore today? ngl I cried at the end the end broke sm

SO GOOD!!!!!!!! the entire pacing felt just right with qqs character and i love the implied future conflict with oscurucho because despite qq not agreeing to his deal qq now has something new he loves that oscurucho can use against him and for whatever reason get qq on his side to do his bidding.

im also such a lover of the initial rejection of the new eggs from assigned parents. because when you look at the entire situation the islanders are in it is Fucked up. it is wildly fucked up. none of these people chose to be parents and frankly some of them probably wouldnt have been if the job wasnt forced upon them. you have that layer of fucked up. and then these parents get attached and they love and care for their child but they quickly realize they can die!! and be gone. forever!!! and suddenly theres anguish and grief and tragedy because you feel as though you failed and lost the one thing that mattered most. again fucked up because why do they need to die? why do they have lives when them as parents are technically immortal? NOW OUT OF NOWHERE IN YOUR WORST STATE OF MIND AND YOUR DARKEST MOMENTS… youre given another kid. another. kid. as if it was a common exchange. once again no choice. its yours now and you have to care for it despite all your hurt and all your trauma. it feels as though these people are laughing in your face just deriving pleasure out of watching you do this dance of getting attached and losing it all. it makes perfect sense for qq to not want to believe pepito is his son and the way he reacted makes perfect sense. and it hurts because pepito is just a kid!!! pepito cant possibly comprehend or fully conceptualize all thats been lost and all the harm that has been caused towards pepitos parents. all pepito wants is pepitos family. and tragically that’s something that isnt going to be easy because grief is a lifelong process and allowing yourself to love again is a choice that needs to be made by an individual which you cannot force. like theres no way in hell a parent who already lost their child would have such an accepting and easy reaction to that. its bizarre and jarring. and difficult. and i love how the ccs portray it

itsso so sad but thats why quackity choosing to stay is so much more powerful. because he knows fully well he will be hurt by this. he is tired and he wants to die more than anything and he cant possibly fathom having to endure yet another death. but he stays. despite knowing hes playing into this cycle. for now he stays. and thats all that matters

anyways ywah good stream ^_^_^

#pix asks aaaa #anon

[a-court-of-moonlight-and-ire]

Ive made through chapters 4-7 today and good god, I feel like i had basically nothing to say about acotar as I was reading it but with this book theres so much to talk about for some reason, its wild. Truly, I did not realize how much I liked Feyre in the first book until I was under threat of losing her

Now, I will say that Feyre seems in-character so far, shes still the same woman but traumatized, but I am worried for her. Tamlin is a whole different story though, SJM might as well shoot him dead right in front of me for how thoroughly hes being character assassinated. Like, if Tamlin actually cares about Feyre as a person and not just in a douchy, possessive alphahole way, which he should because Tamlin was not that kind of guy previously, then he would force Feyre to train so she can defend herself if necessary, not forbid her from it. Even if he didnt want her to use her magical powers, surely he would make her practice with her knife or with a sword or even with her bow just to be safe, because hes not always gonna be there

I think his actions do continue to make sense if you look at them from his perspective, but I also maintain that he's doing a really bad job at responding to Feyre. But also, its so laughably obvious what sjm is doing by having Tamlin say shit like "you were stolen from me", shes trying to paint him as some objectifying asshole. Even Lucien calling her "Tamlin's bride" feels like its part of all this, and I know Ianthe is gonna turn out to be a traitor and a rapist at some point, so it really comes across as an attempt to villify the entire spring court for its association with Tamlin

Speaking of Lucien, I genuinely think part of the reason Feylin is doing so badly in this book is that his dynamic with Tamlin is completely different now. For some reason hes all like "oh, my High Lord" instead of "my good friend Tamlin", he suddenly cant say a word against him when he was talking to shit to him just a few months ago in-uinverse. Like, if their dynamic was the same as it was in acotar, Lucien wouldve probably been like "hey man, I know youre stressed and I get it, I know what its like to watch the love of my life get brutally murdered I dont know what its like to have her magically ressurected again but thats neither here nor there, but Feyre is clearly not happy being inside all day and you need a break, go take her out on a date in the woods, I'll stay here and take care of everything, dont even worry about it" or gotten him to comprise with Feyre or chill tf out or SOMETHING but because theres suddenly this rigid hierarchy in the spring court in order to make the night court look better

Speaking of the night court, Ive heard some stuff about it feeling very orientalist but it still managed to completely blindsight me with its badness. Feyre got fucking harem pants to wear, really? And a short-sleeved croptop, and no fucking shoes, probably because Rhys didnt want Feyre throwing shoes at him again. That was the one moment in this book that brought me genuine joy btw, I would read a thousand fanfics about her just throwing shit at him

Anyway, speaking of my guy (derogatory) Rhysand Nolastname, hes so incredibly annoying I dont even have any coherent thoughts about him right now, like, if I were to write down what I think of him I would just write "he fuckinh pisses me off" over and over again. Im actually a really big fan of edgy shadow bois, but only if theyre like, sad and angry and closed off, if theyre like Rhysand and theyre all flirty and teasing and cocky and shit, theyre just annoying and nothing else. And the romance has barely even started yet, I cant imagine how much worse the flirting is gonna get later. Not to mention all these desperate and obvious attempts by sjm to make him sympathetic and morally good now, its honestly pretty pathetic

Now Im gonna be real with you, I didnt get a lot of sleep yesterday and I can feel myself and the things Im writing getting less and less coherent, so Im just gonna hit you with the very last of my thoughts bullet point style

The fact that Amarantha apparently didnt actually go rogue and it was all part of Hybern's plan feels misogynistic ngl

Ianthe's entire character already feels so misogynistic and slutshame-y and she hasnt even assaulted anyone yet

Something about Mor bothers me, I cant quite put my finger on it but its there. I think I do like her for annoying Rhys though

God, Im gonna have so much to say about the Illyrians but for now, its awfully bold of Rhysand to be like "they wasted no time throwing themselves before her feet" when THATS WHAT HE DID

Thats it for now

#anti sjm #anti acomaf #anti rhysand #flames and darkness liveblog

[theghoulboysblog]

I'm sad.

Not angry or disapointed or betrayed. Just sad. Like to the point of not eating or sleeping. Just bc of watcher. And no I'm not sad at the paywall. Im sad that their getting all this backlash. I cant imagin Ryan rn. I hope he's ok. But I'm just sad that people are saying their evil and that Shanes iconic "eat the rich" is being used against him, as well as Stevens rich-boy-tesla standpoint. It makes me angry. All I do is look at comments. All day. I took off my apprenticeship today bc I'm so upset. I know it sounds like I'm obsessed, but I'm just sad. For watcher, and their fans, and what they think their doing. I just feel sad bc I can see Ryan and Steven and Shane freaking out about what they had done and looking at our mean comments and videos with misty eyes. I've watched the video essays. And it's just sad. I want to hug them and tell them its alright. But I cant and I'm sad. I don't know if I'll even be ok. It's just rough. I know Im acting like I know them but i don't and I don't know if what their doing is for greed and money. And its just a sad thought with a sad situation and I feel sick just reading these fucking comments. Im sad and i cant do anything about it.

Oh, I’m so sorry Jupiter!!! :( I totally get it! Try to eat something if you can (even if it’s just a tiny small snack) and definitely try to take a break!

I’m sure you know this, but looking through all those negative comments all day really isn’t good for your mental health! I had to stop scrolling on this app after three minutes because there was way too much negativity and fighting and it was making me sad!

I’m not saying to quit scrolling cold turkey, because I’m not gonna give you advice that I myself can’t even follow, but try to close the app if you notice yourself seeing too much sadness! That’s what I do! :)

Also, if you see someone on your feed posting takes that make you particularly upset or a tag that seems to hold too much negative conversation, don’t hesitate to utilize that block or unfollow button if you feel that would make you happier!

Don’t forget that old Watcher content is and will forever remain on YouTube, so if ya want something to comfort you, who better to do it than the three Watcher guys!?! :) 💛

So in summary, try to avoid or limit time looking at comments as much as possible and take care of yourself (both mentally and physically!) 🫶🫶🫶 Much love from the ol’ ghoul!!!

#prioritize your health and happiness jupiter! 🫶 #you’re doin’ great! :) #aly answers

[tomholland1996simp]

Your alive?! || Peter parker

Warning: Shouting, swearing, Fighting, Arguing, mentions of attempt of suicide.

Pairing: Peter parker x Stark reader

Summary: Your Tony Starks daughter. Peter and You have a big argument, which leads to you finding out you have powers. These powers you couldn't control in that moment, so Peter has to fight you to calm you down. But then Peter ends up getting hurt.

Hi, I'm Y/N Stark and I'm sixteen years old. Before you ask, yeah I'm Tony Starks daughter. No one knows that he has a daughter, well only the avengers know about me.

There's nothing really interesting about my life. I've mostly been kept away from the world because of my father. He thinks it's too dangerous and that I'm not capable to protect myself. However I think he's wrong, I can protect myself very well.

All the avengers are nice to me though, that's the only good thing. Maybe that's a little lie though as one of the avengers, Spiderman, isn't so nice. Peter Parker his name is. He's sweet, cute and kind to others but to me he's rude.

I don't know why he hates me so much or why he's such a dick but he's been like that from the start. I'm only rude to him because he does the same to me.

"y/n Stark you are staying here" my Dad argues back. All I asked was If I could join on the small mission today, or even just watch it.

"Please Dad! You never let me do anything. I'm sixteen! And you let Peter go on missions" I argue back.

"Peter is Spiderman. Y/N yours just-"

"I'm just what?....Yeah I'm just me. Just because he got bitten by a fucking spider doesn't mean he's any special to anyone else" I snap.

"Language" Steve shouted.

"Fine then. Peter will stay here with you" My father said.

"What!" me and Peter said at the same time.

"I'm not staying here with this fucking nerd" I shout.

"Y/N DONT BE SO RUDE! I have to go now, we will talk about this later. And your grounded so stay here" And then he ran out of the room.

Me and my father always argued about things like this. He just never let me try things on my own. I can look after myself and he clearly doesn't realise that.

I then heard the front door shut.

"Well your going to be here alone because Im going out" I go to walk out of the room.

But before I could even leave the room Peter spoke. "Your not allowed out. Mr Stark said your grounded" Peter grabbed my wrist.

"I don't fucking care what 'Mr Stark' thinks" I mimic the way he calls him 'Mr stark' and not Tony, yanking my wrist away from his grip.

"Your being childish y/n" Peter chuckles.

"I'm being Childish?! He's the one who never lets me do shit! IM STUCK IN THIS TOWER 24/7! AND IM FUCKING SICK AND TIRED OF EVERYONES SHIT." he really pissed me off and so has everyone at this point.

"You need to calm down and stop being a bitch y/n. Your not going out end off because I'll just get Mr stark to come back"

"I actually hate you so much Peter. Fuck you! I'm going out" I tried to walk out the door still mad, however I felt Peters hand on my wrist yet again.

"Let go of me Peter, I'm warning you" I say.

"You can't do shit y/n. Remember I'm Spider man and your just you. Y/N Stark who is a nobody and the biggest bitch ever" He spits in my face, my blood now boiling. This just made me so angry so I punched him in the face.

How could he say that?!

He then groaned in pain, but I didn't care. I felt so angry and sad after what he said.

"Y/N? Are you okay?" Peter looks at me. He was looking at how flames were now flaming out of my body.

I had no time to react, I had no control over myself. Next thing I know, I was throwing fire at Peter and I couldn't stop. He luckily had his suit on but I was still hurting him.

"Y/N Calm down. I didn't mean it-"

"WHY PETER! WHY ARE YOU ALWAYS SO RUDE TO ME" I shout at him, my anger taking control over my body.

"Y/N CALM DOWN" He webs my wrist but that makes my powers go off more. Fire came out of my hand and went across the floor.

When I realised what I was doing, I started to get worried. "I CANT STOP IT PETER" A tear rolled down my cheek.

"AH SHIT! Y/N THE TOWER IS ON FIRE" Peter kicked me onto the floor and I groan in pain.

"PETER GET OFF ME" I punch at him whilst he holds me on the floor and webs me up.

"Not until you can control-" he didn't finish his sentence as I somehow blasted him into the wall. He smacked his head against it and fell on the floor.

Reality then hit me, "Peter?" I look at him passed out on the floor, not moving. Finally my powers that no one knew I had calmed down. I wasn't on fire anymore and I just felt dizzy. "PETER! Wake up stop joking around" I shake him but it was no use.

"PARKER! WAKE UP. I'm sorry please. PETER IM SORRY! I'm begging you, I didn't mean to. GET UP. I'm sorry-" and that's when the door slammed open.

"Y/N STARK WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED!" My dad came over to me, whilst the other avengers helped put out the fire.

"It was an accident, I couldn't control it. I DIDN'T KNOW I HAD POWERS" I cry, going to stand up.

"Peter?!" He pushes me out the way.

"We need to take him to the lab!" Bruce shouts.

"He's gonna be okay though right?" I panic looking at his lifeless body.

"I don't know y/n! HE COULD BE DEAD RIGHT NOW!" My father shouted. My heart felt as If it had been stabbed lots of times.

This can’t be happening!

Did I kill Peter?

What have I done!

"What happened here kid" Nat asked.

"I-I think I should leave. I've done enough damage to the tower and now I might've k-killed P-peter" I run out of the tower.

Shouts were all I heard the others call after me, I just ignore it. To be honest, I didn't know where I was going, couldn't really care less. I just had to run away and be far away from everyone as possible.

Skip 6 days:

It's been six days now since everything had happened. I just can't deal with all the pain I've been experiencing right now. Im standing on top of a roof, preparing myself for what Im gonna do. I know I shouldn't but it's the best way to stop all this pain.

"I'm sorry Dad that Im the worst daughter ever. I just wanted to be more like you and Peter and everyone else. I'm s-sorry Peter. I loved you so much and you didn't even know. I lost control over myself. I didn't know I had powers and that's why I have to do this. I deserve it after all. I'm gonna jump now and I'll be with Peter" I say to myself and walked back.

As soon as I was about to Jump I heard a voice.

"I wouldn't do that If I was you" That made me turn around and I saw him. Standing in his suit with his mask in his hands and red puffy eyes.

"P-Peter?" I rubbed my eyes to make sure I wasn't hallucinating.

"hey" he smiled.

"Your alive!" I run to him and hug him for dear life.

"This is nice" he hums whilst he hugs back.

"I-I'm so sorry Peter. I didn't mean to do that, I had no control. I t-thought I-I k-killed you" I sobbed into his chest.

"Hey, hey. Don't cry. It's not your fault, I'm alive see. I deserved it"

"NO! You didn't deserve what I did" I look up at him.

"I'm fine now though. Everyone's worried about you, you've been hiding really good. Did you mean what you said?" he stroked my cheek.

"Mean what?"

"That you love me" I just nodded.

"Well I love you too. And the only reason why I was so mean to you was because I've had a crush on you for so long now. Im really sorry about that. How about I make it up to you? A date?" he smiled.

"A date it is" I leaned up to kiss him on the lips, which he returned back.

#tom holland #fluff #peterparker #peter parker fluff #peter parker oneshot #peter parker x reader #peter parker x you #peter parker imagine #spiderman nwh #tony stark #spiderman #spiderman x reader #spiderman x you #tom peter parker #spiderman imagine #like #angst to fluff