#im not making any sense ik i just have so many feelings abt them | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

siriusblackloml · 8 months

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just for me - george weasley x reader (PART 2)

𝙥𝙖𝙞𝙧𝙞𝙣𝙜: george weasley x fem!reader

𝙬𝙤𝙧𝙙 𝙘𝙤𝙪𝙣𝙩: 8k

𝙖𝙣𝙤𝙣 𝙧𝙚𝙦𝙪𝙚𝙨𝙩: “i was wondering if you could maybe write anything abt virgin killer!george weasley?? like im sorry hes the finest mf around ik he gets MAD hoes so when he finally acknowledges this preppy, nice and innocent mc he jus knows he has to ruin her"

𝙨𝙪𝙢𝙢𝙖𝙧𝙮: george knows he has your attention now. he knew his plan was working, and that’s why he decides to strike in the most unexpected place.

𝙬𝙖𝙧𝙣𝙞𝙣𝙜𝙨: virgin!reader, vaginal sex, unprotected sex, swearing, fingering, dirty talk, george weasley lowkey being an ass, PUBLIC SEX

𝙖𝙪𝙩𝙝𝙤𝙧'𝙨 𝙣𝙤𝙩𝙚: hope you all enjoy! part three coming out very very very soon :)

part one ┊ part two ┊part three ┊ part four (COMING SOON)

Sitting alone in the library wasn’t an abnormal occurrence to you. From the multiple exams and essays that Professor Snape has set over the years, you’re used to being surrounded by maybe two or three piles of books. While this was the norm for you, and sitting alone in the library today shouldn’t have felt any different, it had you feeling like your heart was going to jump out of your body.

Trying to not bite the rest of your nails out of anxiety, you start to twirl your hair that had been styled down today. You had a dark blue hair clip in your hair that you couldn’t quite seem to keep in one place for more than two or three minutes. Every now and then you were adjusting it repeatedly to try and look nice. At some point you had to stop because you could sense that your hair was starting to frizz at the roots from constantly pulling and straining it. You couldn’t risk looking bad for George today. Well, at least you were hoping you looked pretty decent today. It was only a tutoring session, that’s all, right?

Even if it is just a study session that will probably last no more than an hour at most, you arrived at the library thirty minutes earlier than you and George had planned the previous day. Having to sit around and wait in your house common room was just a little too much for you to handle at the moment. No one else was really there, so it was just you in your thoughts. You assumed maybe the library would be better suiting, but you nearly forgot how quiet it would be due to lack of students. It was still very early in the year, barely into the third week of the term, so not many people were busying themselves with the books that the Hogwarts library held. Well, there were a few students…however, they were all first-years who seemed to just go to the library to prank the librarian by making loud noises over and over again. You eventually got frustrated enough to leave the table you had been previously sitting in, locating yourself at a desk in the far corner of the library away from everyone else.

Yes, this would mean that only you and George would be in this corner of the library, but maybe that would be best. Less distractions for him to try and focus on. You take a deep breath and try to focus more on the present rather than the future.

You lean over the desk to retrieve all your books and parchment from your bag. You lay them out on the desk in an organized manner. Figuring you had time to kill, you start to dip your quill in some ink and open your book to a random chapter to start taking notes. Unfortunately, your focused frame of mind lasted no more than thirty seconds. You’ve lost focus almost immediately and start thinking about George. He always seemed to find a way to consume your mind.

Uneasiness was coursing through your veins. You were anxious, to say the least. Restless, fidgety, tense, you had it all running through your body right now. Understandably so, too.

However, another emotion began to consume your thoughts; you felt astonished. Taken back by the way that a boy you’d just recently met a few weeks ago had the ability to linger on your mind for hours on end. This feeling left you dumbfounded with how to cope with the anxiety and nervousness. You’re just so surprised about all this because it was over…a boy! You’d never been through this kind of thing before.

George Weasley had some sort of spell on you, and whatever kind of spell it was, it was stronger than any kind of magic you’d come across at Hogwarts.

Did George know he was doing this to you? No, he must only see you as a fellow peer is all. The fact that you were asking yourself this question raised a lot of flags in your head. It was hard to admit, but you were starting to truly believe that you were for sure developing feelings for the boy. Just that realization alone was hard to take in, let alone wondering whether or not George felt the same way. You felt that maybe it was going to be better to just assume he didn’t feel the same. Trying to convince yourself that he didn’t share similar feelings towards you gave you better reassurance that this tutoring lesson won’t be anything more than just that. If anything, you felt like you had a clearer vision of how things were going to go down. You would be sure to just keep your focus on studying and absolutely nothing else.

Taking in another deep breath to relax, you look around the library to see if George had walked in. After only needing to glance around for a few seconds, you finally see him. His appearance is noticed as he starts to walk around the corner of a shelf towards the table. His little waltz falters as he notices you and he immediately breaks into a grin. You try your best to ignore the butterflies exploding in your chest.

As the boy gets closer to the table, you smile back and say, “Hey! How are you?”

George sets his belongings on the desk and starts to pull out the chair to your left. He begins to swivel the chair to the side so that he can sit in it, answering your question with another one. “I’m doing great, how about yourself, Y/N?”

When George is in his chair and starts to scoot forward, you can’t help but notice how close he was to you. He had managed to push his chair so close to your own, there was barely any room between the two of you. Glancing at the way both your legs were merely brushing against each other, your eyes flutter to a quick glance at his crotch. Your cheeks blush red immediately as you try to ignore the dirty thoughts that crossed your mind. This was quite possibly the first time you’d ever purposely looked at a boy in that way.

You open your book to an earlier chapter and start to explain your plan to George in detail. You had a full outline planned for him where you would start teaching him material over the easier subjects and have it lead up towards the harder areas of the textbook. And surprisingly…the session went great!

George was eager to jump right into the first lesson you had to offer. He was memorizing more and more of the content and was grasping everything with ease. You couldn’t help but think less and less of the idea that George saw this as anything more than a tutoring lesson. You guys had little to no conversation outside the subject at hand. That way, it helped your mind stay at ease.

The lesson went on for about an hour. It finally came to a halt when you quizzed George on his last question and he beamed with happiness as he got the correct answer.

“Is it…used to thicken a potion?” George asks with a raised eyebrow.

“Yes! Correct!” You say excitedly, watching as the boy breaks into a huge smile. You raise your hand in the air for a high five, which the boy reciprocates excitedly. The moment your hands touched, it felt like a million fireworks went off in your stomach.

You tell him, “You know George, if I didn’t know any better, I would think you didn’t even need this tutoring lesson in the first place. You come to memorize this stuff very easily, it’s amazing.”

You watch closely as George stares at your face with a sort of longing in his eyes, studying your features. It was as though he briefly went into auto-pilot mode as he carefully thought over his next response to your comment. The gears were turning in his head at full speed now.

The boy finally starts to give you a response after sitting still for a few seconds. His body leans forward to further close the gap between you two, his hand reached forward and felt for the fabric of your skirt that covered your thigh. His hand rests atop your leg so naturally, as though he had been doing this for years.

In an instant, your eyes widen and your stomach lurches forward. If anything, you felt like pure jelly. Every muscle in your body had felt tingly with excitement. You’re speechless as you stare at the hand on your thigh. Anxiously waiting for his next move, you slowly glance up towards George. The boy smirks and says in a sultry tone, “Well, of course I’m a natural at this stuff. I have the best tutor around to teach me.”

At this comment, the red-haired student gave his peer a quick squeeze in the thigh. You let out a breath of air you hadn’t realized you’d been holding, gasping immediately.

When you gasped in a soft breath, George couldn’t help but look at your lips. His linger stays there for what felt like a year. He couldn’t seem to stop staring, which only made you blush like mad.

Feeling as though you had to be the one to break the ice, you ask him in a shaky voice, “G-George? Erm, what…what are you doing, e-exactly?”

The boy just chuckles and gives you another squeeze and you could have sworn you felt a tingle go straight to your core. George says, “I’ll see you around, Y/N.”

He takes his hand away from your thigh and collects all his belongings, shoving them into the bag he had brought with. As he gets up from the chair and starts to walk away, he’s sure to turn around and give you a wink before fully walking out of the library. You’re left alone with the only thing you can hear is the beating of your own heart in your eardrums. It was consuming your entire being. That, and the constant thought of what had just happened. You weren’t imagining this, it was all real!

How the hell did he manage to leave you that baffled? That…discombobulated? You went into this tutoring session with a million questions running through your mind, and now you were leaving it with a million more. George Weasley was going to be the absolute death of you, there was no denying that. At least you were able to leave this tutoring session learning one new notion that you had not known before; George was interested in you.

»——•——«

One week later…

»——•——«

It felt mad seeing him in the hallway as if nothing had happened. Well, it wasn’t as though the both of you were acting the same old, same old again. There was something different in the air when you and George were together. Granted, you’d only had two class sessions together since the whole ordeal of last week. The tutoring session was merely a week ago, but the events that occurred at the end of the lesson were branded in your mind forever.

And now you’re just expected to go to classes like it was any other day. As if it was possible for you to go back to the same goody-two shoe student you were before George Weasley entered your life. How on earth were you just supposed to forget something like that had happened? It was quite literally life changing. Not that George was going to let you forget about the events of last week. Before you guys had taken your exam that following week, he thanked you again for tutoring him. His hand brushed against your leg under the desk and he gave you another wink.

You stuttered terribly with your words as your cheeks would turn red, and he just laughed at this, teasing you for being so cute. The next lesson you two had together, he was sitting extremely close and would sometimes allow his boot to brush up against your ankles under the desk.

Meanwhile, if he ever saw you in the Great Hall, he made a big deal of coming over to say hello. This inevitably led up to the day he called you cute again for the way you had styled your hair. Cute? He thought you were cute? He said it twice in one week, of course he thought you were cute. Oh Godric, you were in so much more trouble with George Weasley than you ever thought you were going to be. You still couldn’t believe you had such strong feelings for a boy you’d just met, especially for one with such a bad reputation.

You sort of felt guilty for it at first. Even your girlfriends were a bit worried for you, warning that George was likely to just use you and get on with his life. But George Weasley was not one to just forget about. He was engraved in your very being. He was constantly consuming your thoughts. So much so, that you were starting to get a bit too distracted with your studying. That’s why you decided that maybe you needed to sneak off school grounds for a little while to have some alone time.

School always came first to you. The tests and exams were going to define your future, and your future was looking absolutely bright. Just the other day, Professor Snape was complimenting your abilities to “tutor even the most helpless”. While you knew you should have taken that compliment with a whole lot of pride, you couldn’t help but gulp hard knowing it was about George. He was quite literally everywhere you went now. This is why you had to get away from it all, even if it was just a couple hours.

One weekend morning, you’d woken up in a bright mood and ate a very filling breakfast. After chatting with your girlfriends in the common room, you’d decided to get ready for the day. You dressed yourself in a skirt and a school shirt, grabbing your robe to cover yourself just in case you got chilly. Not long after all this, you started to make your way outside to study. You’d brought a couple books outside to a nice shady spot under a tree far away from the school. It may or may not have been on school grounds, but that was absolutely fine by you. If anything, you needed a lot of space from the school. Inside was George Weasley, and he was like a drug consuming everything about your days.

You laid out your assignments in the grass, enjoying the cool autumn breeze caressing your face. You were trying your absolute best to stay focused to complete the massive list of homework you had to complete by the end of the week. However, your focus didn’t remain for long. Before you knew it, you could hear a long distance away from the school that a large group of people had exited from a courtyard to make their way down to Hagrid’s hut.

Your heart sank as you realized exactly who it was. It was all three of the Weasley brothers with Harry Potter and Hermoine. You knew this from the three heads of fiery red hair and the smaller boy and girl. Thankfully, Hagrid’s hut was in the total opposite direction of you, so you decided to keep your nose in your books and keep on with the studying. There was no way they could have even seen you all the way out here, right?

Well it might be possible, given you’d decided to wear your robe outside today…the black fabric against the bright green grass might stick out like a sore thumb. For the hell of it, you looked up from your book to see if the group had vanished. Instead, it seemed that everyone halted their movements as they were drawing further away from the school.

It was too far to tell, but you could’ve sworn that the group of people were staring at you.

Oh Godric, of course they would notice you, why wouldn’t they? It’s just your freaking luck. You immediately looked down at the book in hand and tried to get your focus back as best you could. Maybe ten, twenty, thirty seconds had passed, you didn’t know, but you glanced up again at the group to see if they’d disappeared.

Thankfully, they had…however there was a tall red-haired boy who was walking through a field of grass to make his way towards you. Even if it was hard to make out his face, you knew it was George. You tried to ignore the fact he was making a long trek all the way across fields of grass to find you in your study spot. You knew damn well that once George was here, it was no longer going to be spent studying. Not that you really knew what was going to happen…maybe you two were just going to talk…but what on earth about?

You didn’t have time to contemplate the ideas, you looked up and saw that George was less than ten feet away now, smiling like no tomorrow. Deciding to break the ice, you hold up a hand to your eyes to shade the sun from your face. You ask him, “Hi George, whatcha doing all the way out here?”

The boy nods his head to acknowledge your question, quickly telling you, “Well, just wondered if you mind I stuck around with you for a bit. Saw you all the way from the castle and thought it might have been you. Guess I was right!”

You chuckle nervously, picking up books to push them away. Making room for the boy to your right, you pat the soft grass and invite him to sit, “Yeah, I didn’t think anyone would see me to be completely honest with you. I felt so far away.”

George sits down with a look of confusion on his face. You raise an eyebrow as he asks, “Why on earth would you not want to be seen?”

Within an instant, your cheeks are blushing red. This was typical now anytime you and George spoke to one another.

If only it were easy to tell the boy that he was secretly the reason you had to get away from the castle. If only you could tell him that your heart beats so fast every time the two of you make eye contact that you feel like it’s going to explode. No, he didn’t need to know all this. Instead, you chose to shrug casually. “I guess…just to have some peace and quiet. I don’t know, I guess I liked being hidden from the rest of the world for a little bit.”

Which isn’t really far from the truth. Since you’d dedicated so many years to studying your subjects at Hogwarts, it wasn’t hard for people to overlook you. George nodded his head and was busy licking his lips deep in thought. He mimics your shrug with a crooked grin, telling you, “Well, I don’t want you to stay hidden.”

You blush and smile, asking him, “Oh yeah? Why’s that?”

He just smirks and scoots closer to you, opting to lean in close and ask you a personal question instead of answering your own. “Can I kiss you, Y/N?”

There was absolutely nothing that could have prepared you for that question, as though all the breath had been knocked out of you in an instant. That, or maybe your heart stopped beating for a second. Your smile is larger than life itself in that moment, and all that mattered was the sweet victory that George Weasley seemed to want you just as bad as you wanted him. You were a winner through and through.

You nod your head shyly, waiting for him to make the first move. George wastes no time, a soft hand coming up to cup your cheek while he swiftly moves in towards your face.

Your lips connect and as cliche as it sounds, you could have sworn you felt some sort of fireworks go off. The moment you two connected it was as if the world around you went mute completely. You exhale loudly as George pushes his lips against yours so naturally. The way his lips brushed in time with your own would only result in little groans from your shaky breaths, still slightly nervous from the experience of it all. Not that you were scared, you were just in complete disbelief that this was happening.

He takes total control of it all, moving his lips in a way that you could only try your best to mimic. This was truly the first time you’d ever kissed a boy and it made you feel like you were high on drugs. His lips were soft, plush, and as sweet as candy. The taste of his mouth on your own leaves you biting on his lip, begging for anything more than this.

George had been relatively silent up until this point, and after biting his lip you caught a tiny pout and whine that escaped from his mouth in a quick moment. It makes you feel utterly crazy.

Before you expect it, George’s hand goes from cupping your face to the back of your head. His fingers intertwine in your locks and he pulls softly, earning a whine from you, a noise you hadn’t realized you would ever make in front of a boy. His hand keeps a tight grip on your hair, and you felt in an instant that you needed to lock yourself onto George in some way to anchor your bodies together.

Your hands find their way up his forearms, slowly making their way around his shoulders to wrap around his neck. At this action, George starts to push you forward without missing a beat in the kiss. He carefully pushes you towards the ground and is sure that you lay softly on the grass before he resumes kissing you with vigor. You notice that he is starting to pick up the pace.

Inexperienced, you try your best to match him, but it feels nearly impossible. It felt as though he was trying to consume everything about you in a matter of seconds. Due to this, it was becoming hard to ignore the noticeable knot in your stomach tightening more and more as George makes out with you. Even worse, you could feel your underwear starting to soak easily in a matter of minutes. While you felt like maybe you should be embarrassed about this, you don’t really have much time to even think about it. George was starting to show an even more powerful side, dominance that left you exhilarated.

The kiss intensifies as he starts to swirl his tongue at your bottom lip, silently begging you for permission to open up. You obeyed his order, whimpering into his mouth, “Oh, fuck me George…”

The boy murmurs something into your mouth, but it’s completely overwhelmed and ignored at the action of his tongue swirling around your own. It feels gross, distasteful, but beautiful all at once. It almost felt hard to breathe again.

You had waited for this to happen for so long now. No boy had ever made you feel this crazy before. You were absolutely head over heels for George Weasley. What gets your heart racing even faster is the fact that he was the one to initiate it all.

There was a sort of electricity between the two of you that neither could ignore. It was an undeniable sort of energy, but what was even more undeniable was the eagerness you had for more. Honestly, you were desperate for anything. You start to allow your legs to slowly open underneath George’s body, completely in disarray that you are even doing this for a boy in the first place, let alone someone you couldn’t even consider your boyfriend.

George takes this invitation with a smirk on his face, pulling away from the kiss to whisper against your jawline, “You’re so damn cheeky, you know that?”

He allows the lower half of his body to connect with your own by pushing down on top of you. Your eyes widen immediately as you feel…something.

Through the fabric of his school pants, you can feel George's manhood rubbing against your thigh. You quickly cast your eyes below to observe the area where your bodies meet. Your lips emit a little gasp as your gaze digests the scene. Just by appearances, George seemed to be enormous. When you first caught a glimpse of his crotch in the library, you never in a million years imagined he'd be so huge! George, noticing that you are no longer staring at him, looks down to meet your sight on his hardening member. He chews his lip and turns to face you, beaming, “You did this to me, love. I wonder if there’s something we could do to fix my…little problem.”

You gulp loudly, looking back at him with eyes as wide as the moon. In a shaky voice, you ask him, “Do you mean…do you mean, like, having…sex?”

George immediately laughs, brushing strands of hair away from your face. He didn’t answer right away, but he didn’t need to say anything verbal to give you the cue that this is exactly what he had been hoping for.

Displeased by your own question, you cast your gaze away from George. Ever since he kissed you, you secretly had a gut feeling this was going to lead up towards something sexual eventually. If you hadn't known any better, you would say that George must have had this planned for some time. What else could one do but...let it happen? Were you prepared for such a significant leap? For you, this was absolutely uncharted ground. You wanted it so bad even though it was rumored to be unpleasant the first time. Just the thought alone made your ears ring.

But in the end, you trusted him. Maybe it was just your crazy infatuation for the boy, but you needed this desperately.

George smiles and whispers, “Only if you’re comfortable with it, Y/N. I don’t want to do anything you don’t want-”

“I want it.” You blurt out, cheeks reddening immediately.

George’s eyes widen now, surprised and thrown off guard by the sheer impulse of your words. He questions you, “W-Wait, seriously? Are-Are you sure?”

You nod your head willingly, telling him, “Yes, I’m positive. I really need it, George.”

His eyes darkened immediately realizing he has you all to himself. He chuckles deeply, clicking his tongue as his eyes scan your face, more importantly your lips. You hoped he wasn’t going to read the shame spread across your face because never in a million years had you expected you would be under a boy in the middle of a field practically begging to be fucked.

Which only brought you back to reality. You glance at your surroundings and remember exactly where you were. Out in the open, outside. You understood this wasn't the best place to have your first time, but you were willing to make an exception. You were a little concerned that someone would see you, though. George did, after all, see you from what seemed like a million miles away. "George, won't someone see us?" you ask as you raise your worry to him.

George rises to his knees in seconds. His perfectly defined bulge was only highlighted by this perspective, which made you weak in the knees. You remain still, as if you were anchored to the earth, while he glances around to find a solution. George casts an overview in your direction before turning to face you and focusing on your physique. More specifically, the robes you were wearing.

“Give me your robes,” he says, “I’ll hang it from the tree.”

He removed your robe and tied it clumsily to the tree's branches to serve as a temporary barricade. It was not perfect by any means, but you had nothing to complain about. It hid you away from the rest of wandering eyes at Hogwarts. Within seconds, George was unbuttoning his shirt.

Trying your best to mimic his actions, you pull your tucked shirt out from the restraints of your skirt and start to unbutton at the same pace he was going. You exploded in excitement as you saw George's naked chest. Just seeing him on his knees in front of you and removing his shirt made your stomach erupt with butterflies. From the waist up, he was now completely nude. You couldn't help but cast a second glance in the direction of his crotch, marveling at the bulge that was furiously waiting for release from the confines of his pants. You carefully toss your own garment on the grass after casually shaking it off. As soon as you noticed the boy staring at your bralette, your heart began to beat quickly. It was a lovely shade of lavender, which complemented your skin tone admirably.

“You look beautiful, Y/N.” He whispers, inching closer and closer to you. You take this as an invitation to lie down again and watch as he crawls on top of you again, leaning down to devour you in another kiss. He mumbles against your lips, “So beautiful.”

You eagerly kiss him back, head spinning from a rush of adrenaline. As George starts to leave small kisses against your jawline, you notice his hands start to touch random places on your body. At first it was your hips, your stomach, then your breasts. He gave them a tender squeeze through the fabric, making you softly moan. “Oh my gosh- please touch me more, please!”

George doesn’t need to ask you to beg for more. He was as desperate as you were and complied with your request immediately.

George’s hands slowly moved up and down your body; his fingers traced curves as his lips moved in time along your neck. You sigh softly at the sensation, thinking you were crazy for not having done this before. His hands found their way to the waistline of your skirt, where his fingers started to slip beneath the clothing. He could feel your warm skin against his fingertips and sighs contently. He mumbles against your neck, “Can I take these off for you, love?”

The hot breath against your neck made you slightly gasp. All you could do was nod furiously, silently begging for him to get a move on. Your hands find their way to his shoulders, occasionally digging your nails into his skin from pure excitement. George kisses down your collarbone while his hands start to properly grip the skirt in a way that allows him to pull it down your body. You feel your heart start to race as he slowly peels off the article of clothing, exposing your legs to the cool air of the outside breeze.

His lips start to move further down your collarbone, kissing the dip in between your breasts as his fingers move behind your body to unclip the bra. With your help, your bralette comes off easily and he leaves it sitting atop your shirt. He stares at your chest, admiring your nipples and the roundness of your chest. You jokingly ask, “Do you like what you see?”

He licks his bottom lip and nods his head, “Fuck, of course I do.”

His mouth resumes kissing down your body, however he does not forget to leave soft kisses along your breasts in a way that makes your core tingle even more. There was no doubt in your mind you were soaking now, underwear wet against your privates. George was nearly there, too, which made the situation all more exciting. The boy’s tongue starts to explore every inch of you, getting closer and closer to the trim of your underwear, which matches the color of your bralette, of course. You let out a gasp as his fingers moved to your inner thighs, pushing them apart to expose you even more than before. You whisper to yourself, “Oh, fuck…”

George is fully laid on his stomach now, his face merely inches away from your bottom. He inhales greatly, taking in your intoxicating scent. He tells you, “I don’t think you understand how long I’ve been wanting to look at this pretty pussy.”

Your heart beats rapidly at his words. You tell him in a shy voice, “I really need you, George. Please, I need you inside me.”

He chuckles deeply, nipping at the skin of your inner thighs. He starts to move his hands towards the underwear that hugged your skin so tightly, the pads of his fingers making your skin jump with excitement. You were nervous beyond belief, but also anxious for him to start fucking you already.

“I’ll need to prep you first, baby. I don’t want to hurt you.” He explains, coaxing you to lift your bottom so that he can pull off your underwear. You comply and raise your bottom off the ground, allowing him to swiftly pull off your clothing.

You heard a gasp, thinking at first it had been you, but realized it was George moments later. It sounded as though he was in awe from the sight of your soft folds which were glistening with wetness. Your body shifts under his stare. If he hadn’t known you were a virgin before, he had to now. You positively dripping wet just from his kisses.

Knees spread before George, you clear your throat to catch his attention. “Can you please be fast? I want to be careful, too…but I also really, really wanting your cock inside me.”

You couldn’t believe you were this desperate, but you wouldn’t have it any other way. George smiles before getting up from the ground and leaning forward, leaving a small kiss on your forehead. He asks you in a gentle coo, “Of course, baby. How do you want me to prep you? My mouth or fingers?”

You smile at the kiss, secretly wishing he did it more often. Not wasting any time, you think over the situation once in your head and decide on an answer. “I think your fingers will be fine.”

“Me, too. I’m going to start with one, alright?” He says, sitting on his knees in between your thighs. Your body relaxes at the idea. This was the perfect way to start out.

He shuffles closer to you, his hands rubbing up and down your thighs. Finally, after what felt like forever, his right hand starts to inch closer to your pussy, thumb touching your folds and smearing your leaking juices over your clit. Your entire body suddenly leaps at the sensation. You find yourself gently muttering, "Fuck, George!"

He silently mumbles something to himself at the same time while gazing at your clit, which almost begs to be touched. His fingers repeatedly swoop down between your folds before being pulled up around your tender nub. You start to groan more and more as a result of the feeling, and before you know it, he has inserted his middle finger into your warmth. He feels like he's thrusting in and out of your hole, and you bite your lip. George grins and says, "You're so fucking wet, Y/N.," in a seductive tone, “what a cute little slut you are.”

His words make your head spin in an instant. You feel his pace pick up after a few moments, and he glances up towards you for permission to add another digit. You nod your head, telling him, “Please, give it to me. I’ll take it like a good girl.”

“Fuck.” George says to himself, immediately adding a second finger.

Your clit twitches from the feeling and you moan again into the open air of the field. His fingers perfectly found ways to curl inside you and bring your entire body jolting with pleasure. Surprisingly, the feeling didn’t hurt as much as you anticipated. You definitely felt a stretch, but the pain felt…really, really good. You start to beg George, “Please, fuck me. I need it so bad. My pussy needs your cock!”

“FUCK- okay, holy shit…hold on baby, I’ll fuck your tight pussy real good. Just give me one second.” George can’t get over how grave you were to have your hole filled. He pulls his fingers out of your pussy, watching the way you start to clench around nothing. He swears to himself, “Holy shit, Y/N. You are so fucking hot.”

The compliment makes your stomach explode with butterflies. It wasn’t the prettiest compliment in the world, but it made you want him even more. George was careful to take a position behind the robe and stood up straight. You hardly have time to process his movements before he hurriedly begins to unzip his pants. The effortless removal of his underwear and pants makes the startling exposure of his cock all the more surprising. His member was very thick, or at least thicker than most, you would assume. His length had beads of precum dancing at the tip, and the head of his cock was writhing with desire to already be inside your little hole.

You gulp loudly, telling him in an anxious voice, “Um, are you sure it’s going to fit?”

George laughs and nods his head, telling you, “We’ll make it work, trust me. You think you’re ready?”

“I think so, yeah.” You tell him, trying to relax your body as he eases back in between your thighs. The comforting breeze and blades of grass were enough to keep your mind at ease, but your thoughts were quickly shaken from the sensation of George’s member rubbing against your wet clit. It makes you moan at the feeling, trying to rock your hips in time with his movements. He bites his lip as your wet folds smear all over his length, covering the tip just enough to try and push things forward.

George, with one more reassuring look towards your eyes, takes this moment upon himself to start pushing inside you. Gradually, he started to thrust into your tight entrance, the feeling of your walls squeezing him making him want to release in an instant. George listens closely to your breathy groans of pain and joy as he struggles to go gradually. All you wanted to do was prop yourself on your elbows to observe as he disappeared inch by inch inside of you. However, all you could do instead was writhe in pain and whimper from the feeling of it all, opting to gaze at the clears out of the tree over you instead.

Soon enough, you're clenching around him. The discomfort doesn't seem to go away immediately, or at least not as quickly as you had hoped. When he was fingering you, the pain was barely even there. Now you felt like you were being stretched in the most horrible way. Why did he have to be so big?

While combing your hair out of your face, he takes in your small whimpers with an adoring smile on his face. He shushes you quietly, telling you in a soft and concerned voice, "You're doing great, love. Just tell me when you're ready."

You nod your head while attempting to contain your emotions. You slouch against the grass and make an effort to hold your breath as you already feel exhausted from the pain alone. As you struggle to take George's cock, your drained thighs lean on his body frame. Then, out of nowhere, you feel a hand on your cheek. His thumb is moving in a calming back and forth motion. He handles your jaw and leans forward, leaving a swift kiss on your lips. You feel like jelly from the feeling, instantly smiling from such a sweet action. He mimics your smile and tells you, “There’s my girl, pretty as ever…fuck, Y/N, you feel like fucking heaven. You’re so fucking tight.”

You give out a sultry giggle, batting your lashes as you say, “I love your cock inside me. Feels…so good. Wait, George, can you move a little bit? I think I can handle it…”

George nods his head, leaning back so that he can watch his member glide in and out of your small hole. While it did take a few thrusts to truly feel okay, you started to feel pleasure take over the pain. The tip of his cock was nuzzled against your walls in such a way that made you feel every single move. It was blissful, and only left you craving more.

“Oh-oh, fuck, oh my gosh. George, please fuck me harder.” The words stumble out of your mouth in a hurry. That green light was all George needed to unleash his true power. For a split second, all the rumors you’d heard about him in the past flashed across your mind. Now you know why the girls talked about him….

George starts to slam his cock inside you with a force that leaves you teary-eyed. Your cunt was taking in every inch of the boy with glee, squelching with obscene noises that you had no idea you could ever produce in the first place. George’s hands were resting on your thighs and eventually found their way to the backs of your knees. He uses this opportunity to push your legs towards your chest. This only makes his cock disappear deeper and deeper inside your pussy, leaving both of you moaning in unison together. You both mutter words under your breath or to one another, such as, “Yes, yes, yes, right there, oh my gosh!”

George looks down at you while thrusting inside at a brutal pace, licking his bottom lip. He soaks in your pathetic whines and the way your breasts keep jumping around from the force of his hips. He leans forward, his hot breath hitting your face as he asks, “You like this fat cock, baby? You like the way I stretch out your pretty pussy?”

“Yes! Yes, oh my gosh, yes! I love it so much!” You yell, positively lost in pleasure at this point. Your body was melting from the impact of his thrusts. You could feel the way his cock would start to hit this certain part inside you that left you thrashing around.

George’s lips attach themselves to your neck, breathing in your scent and sucking harshly at the sweaty skin. Your head throws back and you let out a guttural moan instantly, clenching even harder around the boy’s member.

While still thrusting inside you, he mumbles against your collarbone, “Fuck, baby, I’m already close. You feel so good.”

“Oh, fuck, need you so bad.” You softly groan, your hands tangling in the fiery red hair on his head. You tug at the strands the harder he hits your soaked hole, stretching you beyond belief. While at one point you were crying from the pain, now you had tears streaking your face from how intense the satisfaction of having his cock deep inside your cunt.

George was determined to give you a show if that was what you insisted. Watching the way you squirm around his cock, he starts to increase his pace to become even faster than before. You didn't know how it was even humanly possible, but it didn't matter to you. Your head was so high in the clouds, all you could do was give George a dopey smile and beg for more. "Give it to me, George. Need it so fucking bad, please!"

“Aw, well since you asked so nicely.” George says, digging his hands into your hips to drill into your pussy with such force that left you gasping for air. Your entire body jerked back and forth, the grass rubbing against you in a slightly uncomfortable way. You couldn’t bring yourself to even focus on that at this moment though. All that mattered was the way you could feel your core start to tighten.

You start to moan louder, “Fuck! I’m so close!”

George watches the way your thighs ripple from the force of his hips. Your hole was dripping with wetness onto your legs and his own body, leaving a mark that he wouldn’t forget for the rest of the day. He starts to tell you, “Come for me, baby. Come on my cock.”

That’s all you needed to hear to come undone on the spot. His words were enough to send you over the edge, the coil in your stomach snapping. You arch your back and let out a wonton moan into the air, “Yes! Yes! FUCK!”

Your entire body feels weak, mind fucked out and completely blank. The way his dick continued to ram into your pussy was leaving you breathless, mumbling incoherent words. George admires this, telling you, “Fuck, you’re so hot when you come. What a pretty little slut. Gonna, fuck, you’re gonna make me come!”

Nothing from before can compare to the feeling of George’s cock throbbing inside you. It leaves you whining, begging for him to hurry so that you don’t feel overstimulated. Somehow, the boy knows exactly what you were wordlessly begging for and complies within seconds. George suddenly pulls his cock out of your weeping cunt, jerking himself until he finally releases his seed all over your stomach and breasts.

The liquid is hot and strange to feel on your naked body, but you loved it anyway. The boy slows down after his load is dumped all over you. He smiles at the mess he has created. A pretty girl laying in the grass outside the school, her body left in ruins from the sheer force of his cock. You gasp for air after George finishes, trying to collect your thoughts in an orderly manner but can’t seem to do so right away.

Did that really just happen? Are you an idiot for letting it happen, too? You just lost your virginity to the school’s biggest player. How on earth were you supposed to move past today as if nothing happened?

George smiles, “You liked that, baby?”

You sit up, grimacing at the uncomfortable feeling in your lower back. Laying on the grass may not have been such a good idea, after all. You nod your head, “Y-Yeah, actually…I really liked it.”

“Good,” he tells you, brushing hair out of your face, “we’ll have to do it again sometime soon.”

Your heart drops at these words. Is that all you were to him? A quick fuck? Damn it, now the regret really was getting to you. Had he been getting this close to you all this time just to have sex and leave?

The boy starts to get up from his spot in the grass between your legs, throwing his clothes on together in a messy manner. You were beyond thankful you had some tissues in your bag for emergency purposes, quickly grabbing them in order to wipe off…George from your stomach.

You hate how the two of you got cleaned up together in silence. You were hoping for something, anything to be said. But the boy seemed unusually…quiet. Was this how he was after every single girl he had been with? It was strange. You didn’t really know what to say and opted for silence until he finally said something. Once the both of you were in the proper clothing again, your robe discarded from the tree branch, he hands it to you with a smile. He says, “I’ll definitely be seeing you around, Y/N.”

Your stomach drops at his words. You just nod and sheepishly smile, “Um, yeah, alright. I’ll see you around.”

George gives you a quick kiss on the cheek, then turns and walks towards the castle as if nothing happened.

Maybe that’s how you had to view it, too. As if it were nothing. Because that’s all it was to him.

Nothing more, nothing less. George Weasley used you.

You didn’t realize tears were streaming down your face until it was too late.

#george weasley smut #siriusblacklomlfics #george weasley x reader #george weasley x you #george weasley x y/n #george weasley one shot #george weasley fanfic #george weasley #fred weasley #weasley twins #weasley #harry potter #harry potter one shot #harry potter fanfic #hp fanfic #hp fandom #harry potter smut #part two

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textsacc · 2 years

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mm 🥺 nvm bestie i cant sleeb i have a lot to say n think abt

like how when i put my head down on a pillow n close my eyes i can rly see mc and its bad idw to 🥺 n also now im feeling regret for playing mc im so upset bc i cant seem to feel good abt being able to play games

mmm n also i felt bad trying to sleeb bc i missed u n miss sleebbing w u but was playing mc and i prefer u to minecraft and its just !!!! bad that i had to focus on minecrafr

like i didnt even get to ask u abt ur day or anth i ddint get to tell u that u did a great job w the party i didnr get to ask how u celebrated. u know what i also realize while laying down. i didnt even get to ask u out this summer n im so frustrated bc sch is starting for u n idw interrupt your schedule but i wanna do stuff now that im finally not busy and its just!!! its just a whole mess!!! i dont like it,,, i just wanna spend time tgt n cuddle,,,

i was only reading some manga today, regular fantasy isekai, called reincarnation of a sword, but i hated how the story progressed so i just. got rly mad at the state of my life rn idk???? tired n upset abt it n also i miss u n like cant believe i want to prioritize u above all else no joke its kind of }:v mood??? idk

n also i wanted to ask for clash but like thats secondary

jn me in mc i was playing w kon n sab n we were killing the ender dragon n also raiding some cities aft that. which is rly high pressure bc theres a lot of enemies after me n its rly easy to die AND i was the only one raiding it bc kon n sab cldnt help as much so they took forever while trying to get to a place i alr cleared out. i was trynna go fast n get the impt stuff for them n get out bc we all hated the place. n they yelled at me for stealing the show n flexing ig

tmr ill b going to sabs house bc they wanna hang out b4 going to nex to eat dinner w yee. and that sounds rly nice but at the same time i feel rly burnt out for sm reason. yes its 4am ig thats probably why i feel awful but. idk i also want cuddles n kisses ig. i wan cute girl (you) n im sorry i didnt get to see u off to sleeb 🥺 i rly wanted to n i was trynna raid asap so i cld but ik ur good girl n sleeb early bc school n i respect that so its nbd but i also rly like u n i wanna tuck u into bed n its like so routine that i miss u dearly at night n also it feels wrong when i cant. like if every day was a chapter you wld b my ending paragraph and if u werent there it wld feel like the chapter ended with tension. idk does that make any sense

also i wanted to lyk that like. im still talking to katelyn right bc of the site n we're friends but like. bestie. i need u to know i forgot to spell her name when we were talking. the aftnoon like 3 to 4 days ago when u were like gonna go ask katelyn or smth. she was going to sleeb bc our aftnoon is usa sleeby time i think and she said goodnight to me with my name but i cldnt mirror it back. i dont know why i thought it was kaitlyn (league of legends???) but ik i dont rmb how to spell it and the fact that u did makes me rly upset platonically and impressed every other manner. because i fucking didnt. 😭 just ic u wanna know how much shes on my mind (shes not. i miss u a whole lot. i want to sleeb w u agn)

bestie i hope ur day at sch goes okay 🥺🥺 n ill sleeb early w u i promise im not even gonna touch mc past 11 any more idk why it makes me feel sick but ik it does n im just. i want to stop feeling awful n up at 3 to 6 am during the hols. i miss you a lot n if i cld i wld like to follow u everywhere n help u out 🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺 pls keep me close like ur pet or ur little meow meow,,,

ilysm cutie 🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺 i wish i was cuddling u instead of blahaj atm even if he is comfy. i wan giv u so many kiss n brush ur hair n tell u ur cute n go head empty i always go head empty when ur arnd and i like that... ure an angel 🥺🥺🥺🙏❤️

thank u bestie gnight 🥺🥺🙏

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makiema · 3 years

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finally finished writing about how much stormbringer enhances the skk dynamic which was at a nascent stage in Fifteen and anticipates the developments which happen later and culminate in Dead Apple where the faith they have in each other is absolutely remarkable! the fact that i said i’d do this in a few hours yesterday but it took me like 24 hrs to finish i have an attention span of a whole 2 minutes 💀

my favorite thing about stormbringer is that it actually builds up on the concepts/themes introduced in Fifteen so it's a glimpse into what has changed in dazai and dazai & dhuuya after one year of being together. As much as it's about chuuya confronting his past and his identity this is also about dazai’s development from who he was in fifteen. chuuya and rimbaud both left their marks on dazai and in Stormbringer we see him, actually trying to emulate or follow in a sense a way of life, that chuuya and rimbaud represented. Stormbringer is not just about chuuya, abt his test of humanity, or he coming in terms with who or what he is. it's about dazai too. it's about dazai developing or at least attempting to develop what he calls “boyish”/ “ordinary” in Fifteen. its not about chuya having an identity crisis. in fact what we understand from Code 04's last section is that chuuya never considered it as his crisis and neither did dazai. so to dazai “saving chuuya is important, human or not doesn't matter” and when dazai gives chuuya time to think abt what the operation will cost him chuuya doesnt so much as flinch form his purpose. This goes on to show unlike verlaine he doesnt care about memory and certainly doesnt consider it as the only determinant of someone being human. He cares more abt yokohama and his friends and in that, in caring abt his “family”, he is just as human as the next person. whether he’s factually human or not comes secondary to his desire to save people. This is a message that the quality of being human has more to do with embodying human qualities or humanity than having memories and lineage. so yeah stormbringer is essentially about embracing humanity but this happens on 2 levels: both chuuya and dazai embrace humanity. Going back to the boyish or ordinary bit, im talking abt this segment:

here dazai is shocked because he assumed everyone “gangsta” and everyone crazy powerful delighted in homicide, in deliberately indulging in the macabre. but he is proved wrong. He logically concluded that anyone with power more than average and belonging to the underground would kill people and delight in that because it’s a given they lack any kind of moral understanding. To that end, they’d be exalted at the prospect of relentlessly shooting a dead body, mutilating it and dishonoring it. The mafia code (any general mafia code) works in a way where honor and death goes hand in hand. So only the lowest of the low would do that to a dying person, who even when faced with certain death is loyal to his own organisation. This really shows that even within the mafia dazai is the only person whos like the devil incarnate. So yeah dazai at this sate far lower than even a mafia member. But chuuya who actually embodiess the mafia code and is incredibly loyal to his organisation and “family” [ putting family in quotes bc he himself calls his friends family 🥺] ofc kicks the gun away. From dazai’s pov chuuya being as insanely powerful as he is should also do the same. But chuuya comes along and suggests that even enemies should be shown respect where it’s due. And that is what an ordinary person, oblivious to mafia life (mafia life as in waht dazai makes of it) thinks. So in undermining the binary between “ordinary” and “mafia” chuuya proves that being mafia doesnt necessarily mean selling your soul to the devil and giving up the last smidge of humanity. In fact by embodying qualities like compassion and kindness and mutual respect, you can make the mafia a better place for yourself and for the other members. Now in Stormbringer, we see how this affected dazai. here dazai is introduced as someone mercilessly killing to set up the channel.

Now to expand the channel one would need to keep doing it right? To mercilessly kill ppl and stuff but instead what he does is hand the channel over to chuuya bc he knows chuuya wouldnt handle it like him. im not suggesting that dazai miraculously becomes v good or anything with dazai the key words is “try” or “to some extent” like in Fifteen when Chuuya asks “do u wanna live” he’s like “ not to that extent”. similarly its not to say he doesnt kill people anymore. it is that he tries to lessen the number of casualties by handing over one of the most troublesome channels to chuuya who would manage it in a much more humane way. That dazai draws from his friends/at least tries to is smth we’ll see again later on when he deals with akutagawa. He talks about odasaku and ofc its baffling to him that a mafia member as powerful as him would be taking acre of orphans. and dazai says but he cant afford to be that kind and proceeds to shoot akutagswa but again does so in a calculated way such that he doesnt end up killing him ( im NOT justifying dazai’s abuse not at all im just saying that its hard to believe he coincidentally knew the exact no of bullets that aku could block. and had odasaku’s words and his way of life not been in the back of his mind he could’ve ended up killing aku) coming back to chuuya and dazai we also see him avoiding further conversation on the jewelry channel thing as he says “leave that for now”. He does a similar thing again when mori brings up the concept of double suiciding with chuuya.

Its a HUGE thing for him to digest that him suiciding would inevitably spell the doom for chuuya. this puts an unimaginable responsibility on him. And he avoids further discussion on this. Now we know dazai is the rambly type. Even in the most dire moments he goe son with his LOONG monologues so really he is the last person who’d avoid a conversation but he deliberately does it in these 2 instances because its hard for him to grasp these things. That he can go against his nature and do a conscientious thing by handing over one of the most grisly channels to chuuya (i dont think dazai’s nature is evil. Or even if it is, its a a social construct keeping in mind the war ravaged times or its mori’s construct because he does exploit dazai to the hilt. but dazai ofc thinks of himself as non-human, devious. perfectly devilish...etc.) And also the fact that someone as suicidal as him is actually responsible for the life of someone else is really too much to take in. a whole 10 seconds pause indicates just how much he was thrown off when mori opened his eyes to the reality of things: if he dies, chuuya inexorably dies as a consequence. also i dont think the “wow” here or the next bit :

is something jokey. if it was like haha double suicide with chuuya is the worst haha wanna do it w pretty lady kind of a deal. that pause would have been unnecessary. dazai’s immediate reaction would’ve been whining and shit. the use of “froze” too implies the gravity of the situation. so ofc what is “wow” is how much meaning his life has for someone else. and for some so much....better than him. and what is unacceptable is this sad, sad truth that his life (to which he ascribes no value) would be so inextricably linked with someone else’s and hold so much meaning to them. it is like when a suicidal person at the brink of suicide understanding his life is not his own. his life and death holds consequences for ppl surrounding him. so both of these are huge things to grasp and at both these times dazai is visibly shaken up so much so that he doesnt want to do his favorite thing- ramble in a condescending tone. smth he does in so many instances. this really is a testimony to the fact that things are changing in him. the redemption process has begun. he’s no longer the kind of maniac he was before he encountered chuuya. when zuko underwent his transition in atla he was so shaken up after one (1) right decision he had a fever. i think this is true for anyone who’s trying to change. change is after all a huge thing for everyone. ofc he’ll be unsettled. so anyways this is proof that he has indeed come a long way from being someone who revelled at the prospect of meaningless bloodshed.

now coming to the concept of love he assumes he’d get sick of love and die:

and that death is the singular goal worth chasing after because it makes you feel more alive/get a fuller picture of what living entails. but here he is erring by supposing love is something that’ll bore him/have no meaning. and it cant provide him that “something” he’s looking for. at this point he hasn’t loved so he doesnt know whether he’ll be sick of it or if it'll have no impact. And yet he’s morose and regretful. this is a kind of self-imposed constraint hes putting on himself. he cancels out the v idea of love because hes convinced it isnt worth it. he hasnt even been in love okay scratch being in love that sounds romantic and i really dont mean love in a romantic sense here...its just love. in general. any form is cool. anyway so dazai is not familiar with any kind of love. He is entirely alien to the concept. he doesnt even know what a friend/partner is so he doesnt know what love is. this is cleared out here when rimbaud confesses he did everything for paul and dazai is unconvinced:

chuuya ofc admonishes him and shuts him up for good, he says dazai has no right lookind down upon smth he doesnt understand. he doesnt understand friendship, love. or loyalty. or how important those feelings are at this point. now this situation is turned on its head in stormbringer. but before we go into that let’s look at the message rimbaud had for both of them. ik he specifically asks for chuuya to “live” but there’s purpose behind including both of them in the frame. it’s a message they should both take to heart. and at the end of it its implied both are changed after hearing it:

and in this message the first bit is for chuuya. what he says is basically memory doesn’t make u human... ”you are you” just a frame or not doesnt matter. and even if hes just a frame, he is still beautiful. beauty actually is a v important concept in literature starting right from Plato to Shakespeare. i’d not bring this here but because bsd is so deeply rooted in literature i feel like the reference to beauty, and later on to soul and even warmth and also the universal tone of this message carries some meaning. so the thing is both Plato and Shakespeare were endorsed the idea of love as a force awakened in the world by beauty which then leads the soul to perfection. so humans and by extension, all life are beautiful frames that can inspire love. this concept is also there in Romantic poetry like Keats and Wordsworth all of them talked about loving beauty in nature and how that can elevate the body mind and soul. so essentially in telling this to chuuya what ehe basically means is that chuuya just by being him, by being a beautiful framework can inspire love and warmth in others and thats a great purpose! how much chuuya understands of this purpose with his one (1) braincell and his low self esteem is questionable but he gets some sense of belonging. now this is a two way relationship so ofc dazai has to be factored in. he comes in the next part:

these are from 2 different translation so the disparity im sorry ;-; but anyway, this last part abt the world being a cold place. then paul. then “warmth” is a message to dazai who’s been introduced to us as cold-hearted and having like no bearings of a human being. this is the reason why its important for both o f them to be there. now going back to chuuya being a beautiful framework, the framework can be beautiful in so far as its beauty is appreciate by someone and inspires warmth and love in someone. this again is the whole beauty/beholder nature/the romantic concept that is there in shakespeare and in Romantic poetry where both are a part of a codependent relationship. so what rimbaud implies here is that dazai can have that kind of a relationship with another person (chuuya) just like rimbaud had with paul which makes him warm and the world doesnt feel cold anymore. rimbaud has no regrets about what he did because. so the idea is that dazai and chuuya can share the same dynamic. also after this, the narrative says that their hearts are now changed and wont return to what they were before....and even their souls are refined in a way. but in Fifteen we dont have a concrete proof of how this happened bc the novel ends at this point. Instead, Stormbringer shows exactly how deep the impact of those words is:

this is the third instance of dazai showing hesitation and once again this has to do with chuuya. the seed of the dynamic that rimbaud was talking about is already germinating in him. his reactions, his fidgeting, his hesitancy, in response to chuuya’s situation is such a big contrast to his cocksure self when he’s conversing with adam and verlaine. after this of course we have:

not only does he clearly express his concern but he gives chuuya 2 whole mins to make a decision and based on that he’s prepared to overturn the operation. the success rate of an alternative plan will ofc be lesser than the og one but that doesnt faze dazai. he’s ready to turn the tide for chuuya’s sake and if this is not development idk what is. just a year ago, he was someone to whom the concept of rimbaud going thru all that trouble for his friend was a lost concept. ironically enough, now he finds himself doing something that is along the same lines. he puts chuuya above his mission. to him, chuuya is more important than getting a satisfactory result. another bit that i wanna talk abt is that one controversial section where dazai says he’ll save chuuya, human or not, and then the justification is:

i think a lot of people got mad bc of this and honestly at first glance i was peeved too. as a chuuya stan some of the shit dazai has done so far did rub me the wrong way. i love skk obv but still those were moments that kind of left a bad taste in the mouth. i’ll discuss them later on bc stormbringer helps allay that feeling. coming back to the “i wanna see chuuya suffer” part firstly context is important. ofc someone like dazai cant be expected to be upfront about his feelings with ppl (or AI) he barely knows. so what be relays to adam, is only partly true and its actually a kind of a twist in concept. the things is, and this is smth dazai knows all too well is that ppl suffer simply on account of being human. human suffering is brought on because humans, by virtue of being humans, feel. so when he says he’s willing to acknowledge chuuya as human despite what N and Verlaine said he’s already admitting that chuuya suffers. so there is really nothing “new” to see for him. he knows chuuya suffers already and he does too because they’re both humans trying to make it thru their messed up lives. also chuuya “ceasing to be human” is a p huge concern for him bc he himself is like that. just like with the suicide thing, it bothers dazai when someone else shares his situation/his fate like as long as his life is his own, he has no problem ending it whenever but the situation is complicated when someone else’s life span is determined by that decision. and similarly, as long as he is “no longer human” its not that much of an issue because he’s like resigned to a doomed fate but someone like chuuya ceasing to be human or worse yet never getting to know if hes human or not are pressing matters. so anyways what he actually means here is that in saving chuuya, he saves someone who suffers just like he does and in their case, even the cause of suffering boils down to a shared psychological conflict: what essentially constitutes being human and if im human or not. now this sharing of pain and suffering is the foundation of forming a connection with someone, which makes life a little better. here again, what rimaud imparted to dazai and chuuya is driven home. also dazai’s key anxiety is not finding meaning/anything. this “anything” can be assumed to be something that justifies life. so all his anxiety and frustration stems from the fact that there really is no discernible meaning to be found in the mechanism of life. so it is an empty pursuit because it is true that nothing can explain why feelings of pain and suffering are exponentially heavier than feelings of happiness or why after getting to experience one (1) free day we’re back to square one where life is grueling. these are questions that really dont have an answer so every time dazai like gazes into the abyss and says he didnt find anything, he is not so much asking if he’ll ever find anything as swallowing the hard truth that there is nothing to be found, no singular entity exists that can magically justify everything. again drawing upon literature or philosophy more specifically, there’s a concept called Absurdism which says the only philosophical truth so to say is this that life is absurd and looking for meaning is futile. instead what we can do is accept that it is absurd and deal with it in the best way possible, by finding little sources and moments of happiness, and strewing them together so we feel somewhat content. even if it is just for a fleeting second. and this happiness/contentment amidst a wretched life (altho temporal) can be found in friendship, in sharing, and even in having fun with people you’re comfortable with! this is actually why dazai wants to save chuuya and now it may seem like im interpreting his words through the shipping lens but thats not so and it can be corroborated by looking into dazai’s words to odasaku. after chuuya, dazai’s next attempt at friendship was odasaku who he found “interesting”. now when odasaku sort of like threw hands and chose death over having to live a life without the orphans, dazai tried to stop him not by saying stuff like life is good. and things will def change for the better. but instead he admits that living is hard and the sense of void is ubiquitous and yet he doesnt want him to up and die because then he would be sad. because the little comfort that he got from odasaku and something he probably assumed odasaku also got from him would be gone. [how much odasaku considered dazai a source of comfort remains unclear. in fact the reason odasaku gave up and died was because he did not have this. this feeling of sharing in someone else’s suffering and seeking comfort in friends in the real world. instead he was too vested in his ideal world. his over reliance on an entirely idealistic concept is actually what pushed him over the edge. and this would have been the case for dazai too had he not encountered and sought comfort and companionship in chuuya and eventually in odasaku ] so this again goes on to show how rimbaud’s words changed dazai’s heart. and in a way dazai really has been doing this unconsciously form the v beginning like by teasing chuuya continually in Fifteen. you dont expect someone as cold as him to indulge in friendly bickering and taunting so often but he does. that there is significance and even happiness in that is something he learns over time, after rimbaud’s words to him. although these things seem futile on the surface they give a moment’s respite. so although chuuya spinning dazai on a rope in stormbringer might seem weird to everyone, they still serve a purpose:

what shirase puts forward is particularly relevant here because neither dazai nor chuuya is fully aware of the extent of their feelings (or even what those feelings are like they dont know what label to put. so typical oblivious lovers) for each other or what they stand to gain just by driving each other nuts but there is something intangible but satisfying to be felt. a kind of contentment that helps him continue. one day at a time. there is no one great “thing” that can make him like wake up one day feeling like he doesnt want to die ever again. but again like i said before, the key word for dazai is “extent” so, these little things to some extent contribute to a sense of fulfilment which helps him keep death at bay. thats why he’s bent on saving chuuya bc he knows they can share in their suffering and make life better for each other. its not like he wants chuuya to suffer. chuuya will suffer nonetheless like every other human. but in suffering together there is something to be found so he doesnt want him to cease being human.

this covers more or less the intertextuality between Stormbringer and Fifteen. i just wanna talk a bit more about a couple other moments in Stormbringer that i feel are p important because they put some things in the series in perspective and also made the dead apple moment 10x more emotional 🥺 one thing that really strikes me is the absolute fanon level of comfort that dazai and chuuya share in Strombringer. its like scenes form k-drama lol.

so yeah this stuff. compare this with dazai’s reaction @atsushi when he drops im not saying that its not just a joke and that what im saying should be the right way to look at this contrast. its not like that at all. but what this does is give an estimate to the readers just how close and comfortable dazai feels when its chuuya. and this plus everything i rambling on abt for so long also gives us an estimate about the sincerity of dazais feelings. now 2 things always bothered me : the fact that dazai actually left chuuya and the fact that after the fight against lovecraft he actualy deserted him (this again can ofc be construed as just a humorous bit but still it did leave a bad taste in my mouth) dazai leaving the mafia is ofc something he had to do to fulfil oda’s dying wish but it still dint sit right with me that he would abandon chuuya. just like oda levaing is harder on dazai, dazai leaving is harder on chuuya. its always harder on the one left behind. so anyway, these sorts of things sometimes made me doubt dazai’s feelings but now that stormbringer clears it all up i do think there is a larger motif at work here. when mori offers dazai to come back to the mafia in s2 we see him saying that it was mori who kicked him out and that he did so because he was afraid dazai would usurp his position. so he set it up in a way that dazai would be forced to leave but on his own accord. now more than usurpation i believe what mori really did fear is that dazai had no allegiance to the mafia (which is actually true) bc he doesnt have that sense of loyalty and that to him his friends were more important than swearing allegiance to mori. (which again is true). so by getting oda killed, the message that mori seemed to be giving out was if dazai didnt leave he would do it again. and if we consider ango’s betrayal which had already transpired at that point, the one mori would next target to sort of get at dazai would inevitably be chuuya. this is only conjecture but still, i do believe this might as well be true because then it would explain why dazai didnt carry chuuya back to the base after their fight [something he was v comfortable doing in Stormbringer. in fact in the first case he carries chuuya back to the billiards bar and not to the mafia’s base so he could hear albatross’ last words 🥺] its because mori needs to know unlike dazai, chuuya is absolutely loyal to him which regrettably he is. it kinda becomes imperative therefore on part of dazai to make it seem that way to mori. that they really are at each others throats and that dazai is insignificant to chuuya. and that the mafia comes before dazai. (which is not true bc we see chuuya protecting his friend [shirase] while also staying loyal to the mafia in Stormbringer)

mori also in his own way tries to provoke hostility b/w them like in Dead Dpple when he was all like yeah so dazai is the star and chuuya is merely bait. so it kinda makes sense if dazai left the mafia not only to like do good work but also to protect chuuya from mori. also the fact that chuuya did the same thing— left the Sheep and joined PM to protect Shirase from the mafia makes be believe that my speculation is plausible given all the parallels we find between dazai and chuuya.

and the last bit is about the brilliant Dead Apple scene and how much added context it gets in light of Stormbringer.

in this scene dazai first says: “you used Corruption believing in me?” and then the translation is “how beautiful” which is an okay translation but the exact thing dazai said was “nakasetekurerune” which literally is : youre gonna make me cry you know? now my knowledge of japanese is like duolingo level but i do know “nakasete” has to do with crying and “kureru” is used by the receiver to indicate he’s receiving a feeling/object from someone close. so basically chuuya trusting him is something so beautiful that it could almost move him to tears. now lets look at dazai’s intro in Stormbringer:

dazai, being dazai, ofc would be able to tell genuine trust from fealty out of fear so ofc the fact that chuuya has this kind of blind faith in him is overwhelming for him. also stormbringer really expands on the sight effects of Corruption in full detail. its so PAINFUL and to think that chuuya would jump into it right away for dazai’s sake.....no wonder he is so soft when deactivating him. and then he proceeds to flirt for a little bit with the Snow White and the kiss of life reference. but this flirting doesnt seem even a little out of place now. it doesn't feel like smth meaningless or smth that dazai is just saying as a joke. that there is absoluetly no subtext to making a statement like that. instead that kind of flirting feels like smth inspired from a deep, deep familiarity with someone who really shares his heart and soul. when he talks to chuuya abt the problem of not knowing whether he is human or not, it is a problem that is as central to him as it’s to chuuya. not feeling fully reconciled to a human identity is a problem thats fundamental to both of them. I don’t think familiarity gets any deeper than this where you share the exact same psychological problem. so its really wonderful how we can trace the skk development now: what starts out as a crush on part of dazai or not a crush exactly rather, a feeling of perplexed admiration because chuuya is breathtakingly beautiful inside out, eventually gain all these layers and develops into something meaningful where they have so much faith in each other and where they literally help each other live. knowing someone out there shares your exact issue so you’re really not alone in this is perhaps the greatest comfort in the world. also now its clear how both of them would have turned out had they not met each other and had they not taken in rimbaud’s advice. chuuya in his desire to learn about himself and frustration at not being able to do the same would have perhaps spiralled downward and ended up becoming like verlaine. he is his double here after all. and had dazai not seen chuuya up close being the wonderful person he is, he too would have probably ended up developing a god complex and becoming like fyodor. dazai is there to save chuuya literally from dying a monster and chuuya is there to remind him he too can try and mend his ways and embrace his human side. after all chuuya has so much trust him in! (despite him having questionable methods) for both of them, it starts out as an attempt to be more human, then establishing a fruitful partnership, and finally coming in terms with their feelings to some extent. for dazai, he’s comfortable enough to engage in occasional flirting at this point and for chuuya it’s playing along with dazai’s antics (well with the ones he get 💀 pretty boy has half a functional braincell) and openly showing his concern for him. so really by confirming their feelings what strombringer does is enhance the skk development in a way that Dead Apple doesnt seem like fan service anymore. the fact that dazai would casually flirt or be comfortable with chuuya landing on his crotch 💀 all that isnt as ridiculous as it first seemed because stormbringer lays the groundwork and anticipates all the intimate/flirty skk moments that have happened till now and ig will happen again soon.

#bsd #stormbringer #soukoku #dazai osamu #chuuya nakahara #bungou stray dogs #stormbringer spoilers #bsd meta #bsd analysis

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trueka · 2 years

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Hi! Idk if you’ve answered this already but how did you come up with the concepts for Venus and Juno and your other oc worlds ? Like what were your main inspirations behind it and the worlds around them ? They’re so nostalgic and seem well thought out and planned with so many different components if that makes sense! ❤️

hi sorry for answering so late!!! tysm for thinking that abt my ocs even tho i feel like i barely share anything about them🥲 the different worlds are all kind of like different aspects of myself and my interests combined in various ways. i tried to break it down under the cut but it ended up rambly sorry !! hopefully i answered ur question

tldr: i came up w them based on my interests and background

VENUS & JUNO

everything about this concept is super self-indulgent. as i've said before i really enjoyed things like w.i.t.c.h., winx, totally spies, barbies, bratz, dress-up games, ppgz, polly pocket, etc. growing up

when i was in 4th grade i even came up with a whole multiplayer online game where you could customize and play with this cute alien pet thing. and literally the first time i ever used a credit card was to buy a membership for cartoondollemporium so i could get access to the cuter clothes. like i loved pretty things and still do, and indulging in that with venus & juno w/o any restrictions makes me happy, so yea. a lot of this concept is inspired by things i still enjoy from back then combined w everything that i enjoy now as an adult

the fashion aspect is especially self-indulgent. i just wanna draw cute ppl and making everyone in the universe dress like that on the norm gets rid of the need to explain why i put characters in the clothes they wear lmao. like yes the outfit doesn't make sense for the character but it's just how they all dress dont worry abt it

i really love how space (specifically the planets) looks too, and i was always super fascinated by supernatural/mythological stuff so i combined them. they're supernatural/mythological creatures who look like aliens. alien-esque demons. the planet they're on is still earth (or is earth-like) but the colors arent normal and 70s interior design is everywhere cause im obsessed w that era. so it's sorta like hell on earth except pretty. might have nine circles but not sure about that yet

OR aliens are demons and hell is a parallel universe planet. i'll think on that

here's a pinterest board of the setting

i also like michiko & hatchin and the animation sequence in kill bill, and ik i haven't really taken it there yet in my art but from the beginning i always wanted to make the story with vibes like that. something serious. and i literally posted a wip of venus on top of juno with their tits out so. definitely higher-rated, just w fun colors

im sorta approaching this concept thinking it'll be a video game. like the bratz diamondz or barbie fashion show ds games but it's a story-based action-adventure fighting game ...might sound ridiculous but i really want a hyperfeminine video game where i can kill so here's that

so this is my thought process for all of that. idk if i touched on everything but yea!

FEVER DREAM

i grew up in home that was both catholic and buddhist (but mainly the former). as i got older, i was more analytical. my interest in religion grew from a more philosophical standpoint. like i got super obsessed with it. even took a philosophy of religion class. paid for that shit

there's a lot of reasons as to why, but ultimately i really liked exploring the relationship between deity and man. the whole concept of "fear of god," the ultimate reality, what makes a human, all of the moral philosophical debates. i also love the paradox of, because you can think of something, it exists, but it exists because you thought of it. idk if my explanation made sense but it's all really cool to me.

from here i thought exploring religion from a horror lens would be super fun, and then came the main plot of the story (which has been reworked like 5 times now; more times to come lol). ofc i didn't wanna deal with like. actual religions tho so i came up w fake gods and then decided to just throw in supernatural stuff cause it's fun, so that's how that aspect of the world came about

i was also taking a psychology class at the time this concept was first being thought up, so there's some psychological concepts about deja vu and dreams in there too just bc i experience deja vu a lot (like i'd dream of something and then it'd happen years later irl. i'd get deja vu and then remember i dreamt of it). thought it'd be cool to have that as a major component of the concept so yea

and im super into the aesthetics of baz luhrmann's romeo + juliet and thought it'd be cool to combine it with the small town horror/suburban gothic feel so that's where i plan on taking it aesthetically. kinda like a beachy horror town. like on a super hot day u feel like the sun's trying to kill you but what if it really was... that was a stupid example but u get what i mean

also was into those horror puzzle youtube videos coming up with this. forgot what they're called but yea those were inspirations too

i say all this but im rly not smart enough to make it good so 💀it will j be staying in my mind

SAIJA (NAME TBD)

again... fascination with gods. this time i approached it from a more eastern angle with the whole balance and nature thing. set in a southeast asian-like area because i'm vietnamese, time era uncertain. inspired by samurai champloo, atla, mushishi. if it were animated it'd be animated like flcl and episodes would be set up like nge. this one's the least developed, so there's not much to say about it yet

#im not that articulate im sorry 😭 i’ll figure out how to explain these better one day #i wrote a shit ton so if u dont wanna read all this. totally understandable #didnt include everything i wanted to say and it was still this long bye

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wickedpact · 3 years

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life's hecticness has finally kinda caught up to me and im just feeling super worn down and im seeking comfort in the old guard and because your blog always sparks joy ive come to you. on the subject of comfort do you have any thoughts on coping mechanisms/ways to comfort themselves the members of the old guard have? and similarly, ways they help comfort the others too? i would love to hear any and all thoughts you might have on the matter <3 - 2ta

in terms of comforting others:

nicky: words. i think its kind of interesting, but every time in the movie we see as character in emotional distress nicky speaks up (its okay nile, tell us, sono qui, everything happens for a reason boss) the only time he breaks this habit is when booker talks about grief in the lab.

booker: we dont rlly see booker explicitly comfort people much but he does seem to tend towards expressions of solidarity or subtle check-ins/expressions of concern (for the former he tells nile about his family, he tells nile big wounds take longer to heal, he reminds andy that ‘this is what you wanted’ and for the latter he asks andy post-stab if shes alright, he tells andy he wont see her again, etc)

hes also quick to (rightfully lmao) accept blame (after the kill floor, when he wont get up when the squad escapes, and the scene where he and andy get captured)

joe: he doesnt do a whole lot of comforting to the non-nicky’s out there interestingly enough. he encourages andy like the others do just after the baklava scene (i know you needed a break but its been over a year boss) he also tends to make little light hearted jokes/comments to lighten the mood sometimes (this plus 'faster than the elevator', etc)

and i suppose one could say him answering nile’s questions during the dinner scene are a type of comfort in itself, tho .. .... his answers arent exactly reassuring lmao

nile: So are you good guys or bad guys?

joe: Depends on the century

(j o s e p h you could have given her a more reassuring answer than that!! altho depending on the person, straight honesty can be very comforting in of itself, and joe prolly knew that andy would dance around nile’s questions and be generally unhelpful)

but additionally joe is a pretty strong protector and worrier about his friends’ well-being. he advocates for finding nile in the train scene and tells the others to ‘cover andy’ when they find out shes mortal

(plus the little touch he does to andy’s back!)

andy: andy’s mileage varies when it comes to comforting (primarily nile of course bc shes the Distressed One in the movie) but a lot of the time she tends towards offering stability and loyalty (me and those three men in there will keep you safe, you’re one of us now we would do the same for you, [to nicky] this changes nothing) which of course makes sense for her. stability and loyalty obviously probably mean so much to andy and as Team Leader shes probably very used to offering those things

nile: nile is more the comfortee than the comforter in the movie for all the obvious reasons, tho i think its interesting that at the end she tells andy ‘youre gonna [spend the time you have left] with us, andy’ not only bc shes delivering that stability/loyalty right back at andy but also bc shes also a leader (in the marines) so she might have a similar situation as andy with offering stability & loyalty as a Leader

being comforted:

nicky: the most notable instance of nicky being upset and getting comforted is obviously the van speech, tho like ive said i doubt joe’s go-to method of comforting nicky is a Speech. tho also (obviously & as ive talked abt a lot) i think he takes a lot of comfort from the idea of destiny/fate and the idea that he and The Lads were all destined to be together. he lomves his friends and hes happy when theyre happy

booker: alcohol.

honestly im not even sure how booker would really like to be comforted/comfort himself besides his given Unhealthy Coping Mechanisms. i think he does take a lot of comfort in his Solidarity with andy tho. considering his ‘that way madness lies’ comment about the immortality and his comment in the comic about ‘whats the purpose of an uncertain immortality?’ and his tendency towards tech, i think he’s the kind of person who likes when things are explainable and logical (and u could say thats a way he foils with nicky i suppose)

joe: him touchy

ive been meaning to make a gifset thats just Joe + Reassurance Through Touch but i keep forgetting about it. hes a very tactile boyo. in the comic while theyre having the nile nightmare joe reaches out and physically grabs nicky’s arm/shoulder in his sleep, like hes subconsciously checking hes still there. he worries So Much about the others (nicky in the armored van, nile in the train scene, andy post-mortality) and their well-being that i think he takes a lot of comfort in knowing all the lads are okay and safe (esp nicky)

andy: like i mentioned i think she likes loyalty and stability, which is obvs something shes had a serious lacking of throughout her life. ik u arent super into the comics but the recent tales through time story about andy went over how she takes comfort in the idea that her axe belonged to her mother once, even if her modern-day axe has had all its parts and pieces replaced so many times its not the axe her mother gave her 7000 yrs ago anymore. however andy still clings to this idea of her axe being her mother’s axe (‘this is the labyrs she held in her hands’). the memory of her family/mother and the stability of having the same axe with her through her history obvs comforts her a lot.

nile: again similarly to andy i feel like loyalty/family comforts nile a lot. she followed her father’s footsteps into the marines and worries about her loyalties to them through the first half of the movie, and tries to go home & thinks about her mom and brother through the whole thing.

(plus, music obvs means a lot to her)

#2thoughts anon #!!!! feel better tho 🥺#Anonymous

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thisdreamplace · 3 years

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I had a nasty fight with my former bff. This was long ago. She did the whole 'boycotting me' thing at school and afterwards had a mutual friend pass her msg to me, saying "tell her [me] to get it into her skull that she's not the center of the world, who does she think she is? Stop acting like a #" Im simplifying the words, her actual words were nastier

I got thinking today abt this fight, and her comment abt me that is still way too fresh in my mind even tho I hadn't recalled it in 2-3 yrs!, and I actually decided to use the law to revise my friendship to feel better as what happened after the fight was shameful on my part. But before I knew it, I started rmmbring my relationship with her. How I became a total victim. Got so stuck on her validation, begged her to be friends with me (after I got the degrading msg. 🤕 silly me w/o a backbone lol) and stayed her 'bestie' for way too long. Only after it's all over im noticing smth messed up abt out 'feiendship'. It wasnf that normal I think. She would get so pissed if I did anything that went against her thoughts/beliefs/way (which is why she called me a selfish # that major fight). It was so subtle the way she showed her disapproval. To her, if I did anything not aligned with her, or even makih decisions on my own which didn't involve her, it was wrong. And had consequences like her beinf distant for days etc, or getting angry if I didn't mind read her bla bla, I just had to keep her at the top 24/7 and she expected everyone else to do the same... which I thought was normal... It wasnt. And what would be even more crazy is she never realized how that meant she always wanted the attention. That she always wanted it her way! It just makes me feel... Sad.... When I look back. How couldn't I have notived it before? I used to be strong headed, opinionated before I became 'besties' with her.. That all has changed. I wonder why -_-

It may be dumb on my part but with the weak mind and insecurity I had then, I took that fight/her reaction to the heart and internalisef this stupidiy (DENY MYSELF if the other alternative was denying HER. I didn't think it was wrong. For the oldme, it really wasn't wrong smh). Aaah I'm so sorry old me :(

This fight started bcoz she asked me for smth and I refused, instead of relenting like I always would, and I see now that her reaction (to me not being an obedient # to her ig?🤢) was basically her setting rules. It was wrong of me to refuse, yes, but why did she react that way? Why did this pattern continue? That everyone was selfish if they didn't think of her ;_; like how do u deal with this? And the icing is when I too started to defend her and make excuses for her all the time. And ik I'm making her out to be so strong, don't worry... I accept the strong only rule when the weak submit. And I was weak as hell, so its understandable this whole thing. I think 😅

Idk. I seen your posts abt eyipo with other anons so i hope u can tell me figure out what this was. Its clear to me she was projecting smth about me, and mb throughout our whole friendship she was projecting me. And I would think it was her hurting me, that she was right and I was wrong or maybe I did smth wrong. Mb I thought I deserved being punished that way?!

Today I suddenly had an aha moment and I realised... this is how a victim thinks. I didn't know I was a victim when I was living that stoey aka thought I was powerless. When in fact I really wasn't?! Haha still accepting I 555% created ALL that. The law can knock you out haha

Enough old story I just want to ask, what du u think the msg she sent to me was? Did I really deserve such a reaction (did I mention she included other girls in the boycot? 🤢) just for standing up for myself? What about the whole 'fight' aka showcase of power? And the entire yrs of being friends why did I never realize I was only hurting myself so much by putting her before me? And also, with the everyone pushed out thing, how did it fit in? Like why the hell did I give her too much power in validating me by giving in after the fight in the first place?, and while I did have some fun times (saying this so anyone else who reads this doesn't think it was pure torture lol. We had some common interests tyat no one else in the class shared when we first became 'friends'), deep down I was so unhappy so why didn't this reflect on her? I mean why didn't she ever sense just how much she'd hurt me, why didn't she see how much I put on the back burner coz of her?! Was it as she saw it as her right? I'm just so confused

This is still a bitter pill to swallow tbh but I have to face this in order to move on. This person and my life with her has left me wit many scars and I got to understand how I did this so I never attract such a person in my life again. Its not even abt bejnf a victim. As I said, these victimy things were subtle and I only noted them when it was too late and I was a shell, like she getting super pissed and disapproving if I had a differing opinion and me blowijg it out of proportion and tailoring my views or not expressing them so as to not feel the disapproval...thanks boycott conditioning ig? 😭 Aaaah even talking agaunst her rn is making me uncomfortable. Which makes me think I still am scared of her subconsciously even tho she's no longer in my life. Like, what in me made me choose her? I haven't healed, obviously by this ask as u can tell, but idk what is it in my self concept that had this whole thing in my past even happen

My friend, I also want to say I think you're a beautiful soul 🥺. And im sorry for the long ask lol. And I pray you'll always have all your desires. And plz, was it hard for u at first when u learned about u creating everything? The good, the bad, and the repulsive (like this story)? How did u get over old stories? Ty ty ty 😭

To begin with you're being really harsh on yourself. Like, I know it's hard, but it's never that serious. And trust me, this is something I have to remind myself of regularly. Because there have definitely been moments in life where I look back on myself in that moment, and I feel like I was pathetic and would slap myself if I could. But the truth is, there's just no need for any of that. We always did the best we could. We always did, period. We couldn't have done anything differently and this will continue to be true our entire lives. Looking back on the past with such overwhelming feelings, is really not needed. I get looking back to learn from it, but practice coming from a place of love and acceptance instead. It will help you grow, rather than get stuck back in this cycle of self-hate and confusion. Plus, you actually never need to analyze the past to grow but that's beyond the point right now.

To me, by reading your ask, the message she sent to you was clear. You feel you deserve less in life, you feel you're not good enough, you feel like a victim to life and others, you feel like you're not empowered or the operant power of your reality. It's not about her being wrong and you being right, and I get this is one of the hardest pills to swallow. Everyone is you pushed out. Therefore, there's simply no such thing as who is right and who is wrong anymore. It was only ever you.

When it comes to everyone is you pushed out, you have to understand this person isn't this way because that's who they are. They were that way because that's who you were. Inside of you, you brought their character to life. Therefore, the same way you are not stuck to such an undesirable self concept, neither is that person. It's not that you chose her and attracted her in. You were just dealing with yourself. That's what I hope you walk away from this response understanding. Because by thinking she was outside of you, you're missing the mark. And this is such an important concept to understand when it comes to the law of assumption, because it's really at the forefront of everything. People play such a huge role in our lives, whether it's relationships, jobs, opportunities, etc etc. So understanding how everyone is you pushed out actually works is extremely important.

So instead of putting all this blame on her or even putting the blame on yourself, all these memories really do is give you a glimpse into who you were at the time. It shows you the beliefs you held about yourself. It shows you what your self concept was. That's all it's doing. So in that way, there's actually no one to blame at all. I know it feels good to put blame, even when it's on yourself, but the truth is there's no room for blame when you learn about the law. You simply take responsibility and become empowered by the power you have held this entire time. And you practice making it work in your favor.

If you want to see how something was apart of your self concept, all you have to do is pay attention to what you are thinking/feeling. Shame, not being good enough, etc etc is all just stories you once held onto. Now you don't have to hold onto those stories anymore. Now that you know the power you hold, you get to make a new decision for yourself. Rather than ruminating of the painful past, allow it to be and know how that's not your story anymore.

Was it difficult for me to accept how I created everything? Yes and no. It's been a journey. While I could accept it logically, emotionally it was still very painful. Many times I wanted to cry and lash out when I felt alone and felt upset that no one was there for me. Although, I knew deep down it appeared that way because of my own concept of self. So yeah, it's been a journey. And it's honestly not always delightful. But this is the journey we have to take for the rest of our lives, so we might as well get used to practicing and applying these concepts. Instead of continuing to hold ourselves in such painful lights. I got through old stories, and I continue to get through old stories, by feeling all the pain that came up. By allowing myself to cry and feel however I felt like during those times. And in the back of my mind I knew I was getting stronger in my power. I knew how I would keep persisting once the pain subsided. And little by little, old stories fade more and more. That persistence to continue choosing better for yourself, is truly more powerful than it may seem in a difficult moment. Have trust in how it's all working out for you regardless.

Hopefully this is helpful! Thank you for your kind words. 💖

#eiypo

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foryouthegays · 3 years

Text

spreading propaganda [Dream SMP] liveblog yall lets go. this is so long i am sorry but the end is an actual summary of what happens asldkfa

sellout timer pog: 00:30:20, 01:00:40, 01:31:35, 02:02:03 (for like a second), 02:03:00, 02:34:35

time spent reading donations: 10 minutes, 20ish seconds.

fanart credit he puts up (all from twitter i think): snumkt, reinneart, lihnsu, sestqr, jester_u, Brigade_Lost, natonyy

also taggin @antarctic-empire-technoblade :) theres an actual summary at the end that isnt just me ramblin so,,,,,,ye. i am so sorry its so long a;dkfja i dont know how to condense things

00:00:35 “i stole a lot of sand recently,” ah yes, a casual conversation starter, the admission of theft

00:03:55 hE HAS A VILLAGER TRADING HALL CHAPEL IN THE VILLAGE SIR THAT IS ILLEGAL

00:04:13

tubbo: -..--...---

ranboo: that means beans right

no, ranboo, not it does not (i put it into a translator and it just. it doesnt mean anything. i didnt see any spaces so im just. what was mr tubbo trying to say

00:04:35: relationship advice with technoblade! [reading donation] “‘techno, my boyfriend said he’ll never sub to you, how do i handle this travesty?’ uh, clearly you need to break up with him, and send me more money, is the most- that’s the most unbiased opinion I can give you, it’s just a good life decision, alright? It’s just a good life decision.”

00:16:00 ranboo hi!!!! him garden :D

HOUND ARMY HOUND ARMY 00:18:10

00:20:15 ‘i have not made a tier list [for dinosaurs] yet’ Y E T? ? ? ?? ?

00:20:55

“‘Hey, are you uncomfortable with being part of the SBI family dynamic?’ Uh, I don’t really- it’s not a matter of being uncomfortable, it’s just a matter of people making massive revisions to my character and the lore three months into the story without telling me, and it’s like, ‘no, that doesn’t- the story doesn’t- so many things don’t make sense now! What?? What???’ but if you want to make like, fanart of it, it’s fine”

00:21:25 imagine believing in airplanes, couldnt be me

00:21:35 SKLDJFAK a dono is like, hey can u call my new cousin a nerd, and technos like [claps] yOUVE COME TO THE RIGHT MAN im all about bullying infant children

lakjshdfl 00:26:15 ‘philza this does not sound lore at all please’ poor techno

00:27:30 HKJSFDL :crab: TUBBO IS GONE :crab: also i cant tell if techno says ‘KILL HIM DEAD’ or ‘KILL HIM, DAD’

00:30:20 ‘we should have a grinch episode, where i go around stealing presents from l’manburg’ DO IT

also i was in chat at 00:31:25ish and i said ‘subscribe to technoblade’ and RIGHT AFTER techno said ‘did i hear subscribe to technoblade?’ and i felt so heard

00:33:25 why is his only response to being seen in enemy lines to just stay realllyyyyy still a;lkdfjasf

00:39:45 ‘this is crucial information coming to you live from anarchy news’ A;LSDKFJA;LSDF

00:46:25 :CRAB: RANBOO IS GONE :CRAB: DEAD MEN TELL NO TALES

alkdfja; 00:47:55 techno talks (sarcastically) abt how great it is when chat tells him where his stuff is

00:48:50 awww techno showin his not-dad his hound army!!! so cute

00:55:30 techno specifies that theyre all characters/roleplayin!!!

techno talkin to phil is literally like a kid talkin to his dad after not seein him for a while. like yeah yeah family isnt canon in this but KSJDFLA hes like ‘phillll tommys being annoying also look at this new poster!!!!’ its so cute

01:09:20 A;SDJFADSL THE VILLAGER JUST. FALLS THROUGH THE FLOOR

techno nd phil reference smp earth at 01:19:50!!!!

(ik some people dont like enbyctechno so heres ur warnin, its just for this line tho) techno says ‘no one man should have this power’ but he HAS that power. therefore. mr c!blade is not a guy 01:35:00ish idk im not goin back to check

01:38:35 alright gang lets split up and look for clues

01:45:20 ‘my chat’s sayin theres a 0% chance this is gonna work,,,,thATS A CHANCE I’M WILLING TO TAKE, CHAT’ skjdflasl;dfjaf (also, bit after, after readin the wiki say its 0% chance: ‘i like those odds’)

01:48:15 [abt the zombie villager baby]

Techno: on the bright side, we may have inflicted the optimal amount of trauma onto this child for it to become funny?

Ranboo: ooooh yeah! it can become a minecraft youtuber!

techno: yeeeeeeah!!

pls get some therapy

a;ldkfassa the mental image of techno ownin an orphanage,,,,paldkfajslfasf 01:51:35

a;ldsifjasdklf ranboo is canonically a villager now, pog 01:56:50

01:57:50 ranboo: ‘they say that im built different, i am built different, in the fact that i have no moral backbone.’

01:58:30 BLOOD FOR THE BLOOD GOD also why is techno so good at the bow like WHAT he looks in third person and turns nd shoots in like a second and hits most of the time its scary literally look at ranboo a;ldsjkfadsf hes like a porcupine

ASKLJDFASLDF RANBOOS ‘OH NO HE KNOWS HOW TO OPEN DOORS’ AT 02:02:25 JUST HAS SUCH TECHNO SKYBLOCK VID VIBES ADLKJFALSDFJA OH MY GOSH

02:06:35 “i feel there has been an attempt on my life,” "no thats just how we greet each other in our country” nether lore pog?

02:08:45 why does techno casually type at 120 wpm????? god i hate him so much why is he like thisssss ugh (also it took ~3 seconds to type 7 words (34 characters) which is 140 wpm and 680 cpm if i know how to do math i hate it here) /lh

nd then he types ‘punz we’re all outside your house get over here’ which is 47 characters nd 9 words nd it took him 5 seconds to type which is 564 cpm and 108 wpm so his average (from these two samples which. isnt a lot. should i do a post abt this in the future?) is 124 wpm and 622 cpm. hes so fast.

SDA;FKJASDF PHIL WHY R U SO VIOLENT

02:17:00 PUNZ POG ALSO MANIFOLD KILLED IN THE HOLY LAND

technos complainin bout the fights bein boring,,,,,,,fight them all, techno. do it. 1v8. do it, coward.

02:24:02 ‘maybe the real combat was the friends we made along the way’

02:25:16 i love that technos first instinct when someone dies is to check what sword/axe killed them nd what enchants r on it aldskfjads

i love how techno calls the manhunt music ‘dream music’ its so funny to me

right before he ends the stream he says ‘p e r h a p s’ to techno plushies and i just,,,, wa n t

if ya just want an actual summary and not that MESS:

Technoblade starts the stream in his house. the first thing he does is put another piece of fanart in his house, this one by snumkt on twitter. he goes to l’manburg, where he sneaks around very sneakily (/s) and replaces anti-techno propaganda with pro-techno fanart, stating that “If they take it down, it’s ‘cause they hate fanartists.” (00:09:18).

While placing posters, Techno checks in on his hound army, and reveals that he thinks someone had been in the area, because a wolf teleported to him while he was home. He thinks someone placed water, the dog stood up, and then teleported. (00:18:25)

After breeding the dogs, Techno reads donations and one of the questions is about the SBI family dynamics. Here’s what he says at 00:20:55

He then meets up with Philza, who is being escorted by Tubbo. Techno goes to Philzas house, and hides in his new basement. He joins their VC and finds Phil, Wilbur, Tommy, and Tubbo. talking about birthdays. Tubbo goes to the basement and sees Technos invis particles, hits him, and he is revealed. Techno kills tubbo, and declares it canon as a joke.

He goes back outside, deafened on Discord, and puts down more propaganda. Philza joins his call, and they meet up to try and find Technos stolen items. They don’t find the barrel, but they do find a hidden room under the podium. Techno puts a piece of propaganda in the room. (00:43:30)

While Phil is killing an enderman, Ranboo finds them, and is killed by Techno. (00:46:25)

Techno takes Phil to see his Hound Army, but they’re stopped by Tubbo. Techno tries to pretend to be Ranboo, but Ranboo goes up to them, so his cover is blown. Techno’s chased to the portal. Phil and Techno meet again in the Nether, and they go back to the house.

At the house, Phil and Techno talk about the SBI characters, the sellout timer goes off, and then they go downstairs to cure a zombie villager. While it’s curing, Techno gathers books to make a new bow, with Power V, Punch II, Unbreaking III, Flame, and Mending.

Philza reveals that Ranboo is coming over to give Phil a present. Techno seems excited at this, mostly at the fact that Ranboo can be his new bows test subject.

Before Ranboo arrives, the villager is cured, and they find out it is a nitwit, meaning it can’t trade or get a job. Techno and Phil start working on a tunnel to bring the villager to a lava pool, so the other villagers won’t gossip and raise their prices.

Ranboo joins the call at 01:15:35, right before they’re going to bring the villager to the lava pool. He gifts Techno and Phil four Netherite ingots.

After struggling to get the villager to the right height, Techno forces Ranboo to boat the villager into the lava. Ranboo escapes by throwing a pearl, and the villager dies.

Ranboo, Techno, and Phil talk about duping Netherite, and the current plot, and then Techno finds a zombie baby villager. It’s caught in a boat, and Techno nametags it ‘Orphan.’ They talk about the cobblestone tower, Philzas’ death to a baby zombie, and how if you don’t see a child's parents, you should assume that they are an orphan and attack them.

Techno talks to Jack Manifold through chat about his axe. Techno, Philza, and Ranboo go around and look for zombie villagers. Techno finds an igloo, with two villagers. Techno was going to try and turn them into zombie villagers, but decides to not when he finds out that theres a 0% chance of that happening on Easy mode.

They all go back to Orphan, and bully it when they find out it still hasn’t grown up. Techno and Ranboo make a joke about how it’s traumatized, so it’ll be funny and can be come a minecraft youtuber. please get some help. (01:48:15)

After Orphan grows up, Techno trades and gets the Bottle of Enchanting trade for one emerald. They all joke about Techno owning an orphanage at 01:51:35.

Phil, Techno, and Ranboo decide go to the Hound Army, but Techno remembers that Ranboo is part of L’manburg, and tries to kill him (with his new bow) when they enter the nether. He doesn’t succeed, and he continues fighting until he drinks and invis pot on the Prime Path. Techno and Phil meet up in the Bee Dome, where Ranboo finds them. Techno tries to kill him, but runs out of arrows.

After reading donations, Techno, Ranboo, and Phil are back together at the Bee Dome, and they decide to team up in case someone finds them. They go outside of the Dome, and chase Jack Manifold out of his own country.

Manifold joins the VC, and they try to blame Punz on his attempted murder. After Manifold says “i feel there has been an attempt on my life,” Techno says that that’s how he greets people in his country.

Manifold asks if they want to help him get revenge on Punz, and Techno agrees. They gather more people, and by the time they get to Punz’s tower, their party is Manifold, Techno, Phil, Ranboo, Fundy, and Antfrost. Punz is in the Nether, so they wait until he gets back.

Ranboo and Techno have a whisper conversation:

Ranboo: are you just going to jump fundy

Techno: no im gonna make jack 1v1 LMAO

Ranboo: good plan

While Fundy is taking a screenshot of Techno for his thumbnail, Philza attacks Fundy with a crossbow and his sword. He claims it was because he was getting bored.

In the same spirit, Techno asks if they could kill Manifold to pass the time. The mob, which now includes Fundy, chases Manifold. He runs to the Holy Land, and the mob boos him. Techno tells Antfrost to kill Manifold, and that the mob won’t tell that he was killed in the Holy Land. Manifold hands Antfrost his sword.

While Antfrost debates killing Manifold or not, the mob chants ‘peer pressure!’ at him. Techno quickly realizes that Antfrost isn’t in the VC, and is extremely confused. The sword gets handed to Fundy, who gets into a battle with Manifold. Philza tells Fundy that he’s forgiven, if he can kill Manifold. The battle calms, and neither of the contestants die.

Techno convinces the mob to go to the pit trap, and tries to lure someone onto the trapped blocks using rotten flesh. Fundy takes the bait, but moves out of the way before the button is pressed. Antfrost sneaks up behind him and punches him into the pit. Fundy survives the fall, but is shot by Manifold to death.

During the commotion, Punz makes his way back to his house, and the mob moves towards him to end his life. Manifold says that he’s going to kill Punz, and Techno says that the mob’ll have his back. He tells the mob to not have Manifold’s back.

at 02:17:00, Punz joins the call, and is confused as to why Manifold wants to kill him. Manifold explains that Punz tried to kill him, siting his source as Technoblade.

also, 2:17:15 technoswear!

Techno encourages Punz, saying “Punz, he actually dropped his sword by accident and now I have it, so it’d be really easy to beat him up,” and “he also just killed in the holy land, so you have a sort of...religious motivation to take him out.”

Punz tries to fight Manifold without armor (Manifold is wearing a full enchanted set of armor, with a Netherite chestplate and everything else Diamond), which fails miserably, and Manifold is killed.

Techno decides to fight Manifold with his goons (the mob) for the audience retention, and Manifold’s quickly killed. The final hit was from CaptainPuffy. Ponk rushes in and grabs some of Manifold’s items. Puffy takes the rest.

Manifold complains about getting bullied, so Techno gives him his sword back and tells him to avenge himself. While looking for Ponk (or Punz? this is kinda unclear), Punz swoops in and kills Manifold in two hits.

Manifold finds Ponk and chases after him, trying to kill him. The mob follows, and Ranboo kills Ponk with thorns. Manifold takes Ponks stuff.

Right after respawning, Ponk was blown up by a creeper, and Techno claimed both as canon.

The mini fights continue, and Manifold is killed by Punz.

Ranboo changes the ‘Days since last war crime’ sign to 0.

Phil tells Techno that he’s going back to the base, and the L’manburgians question him as to what base he’s talking about. Phil tells Fundy that he ripped off his ankle shackles and left. While they talk, Techno starts running back to the base, and Ranboo whispers “lets run back” to him. Ranboo follows Techno, but quickly looses him.

Phil and Techno join a separate VC together and they go back to the base.

At 02:29:15, Phil says “I trust you” to Techno and I am going to cry.

Right before getting to the base, Phil drinks some honey, and Techno says “that’s the only thing we have honey for, now that we’ve uh...uh I guess you don’t know about that.” He’s referring to the Vault, I think, because the redstone required honey to work properly.

Philza responds, “the honey- wait, what did you use the honey for?”

“uhhh....food.” Techno, for some reason, doesn’t want to show Phil the vault.

Ranboo whispers to Techno: “My alliance isnt with lmanburg, its with the people who help me. phil helped me.”

out loud, Techno laughs about it with phil, saying, “well, I’ve stabbed him like twelve times this week, so, I [laughs] I don’t know if that entirely qualifies here.”

Techno messages Ranboo back with “new phone who this”

Ranboo replies, “no one,” and then, “:)”

Going back to the honey talk, Philza asked if Techno had been hiding anything diabolical from him, and Techno asks if he would do such a thing. Philza guesses several things he could use honey for, such as a flying machine, TNT dupers, and a door.

Techno takes him to the vault. 02:32:00. i LOVE peoples reactions to the vault, it’s always so good. Philza responds with a surprised ‘HOLY SHIT’ and some laughing. Techno also confirms my math of 55 withers.

02:34:10 “i’ve seen this government, on the server, and everything to do with government is just bad. I’ve watched it completely destroy and tear down people’s wills and change people, I’ve seen it change the nicest people into complete and utter tyrants, so...I think it’s about time--”

“We need revenge. [sellout timer goes off] and more importantly, we neED SUBSCRIBERS ON YOUTUBE DOT COM” phil joinin anarchy pog?

anyway that was it ;alskdfjas;f

#this ended up bein abt 3000 words whoops #a;ldskfjasldf #technoblade #stream post

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rickriordanfandam · 3 years

Text

opinions on riordanverse ; my edition

a lot of people have been doing this so i decided why not right. probably gna lose some followers or smth but anyways. pls respect my opinions! if u disagree, thats fine, but please be polite. unless any of my opinions strikes u as morally wrong then pls point it out to me respectfully. thanks!

- i actually liked drew. im so sorry to everyone who hates her but full offence, why. think about it this way ok, first of all drew became hc because silena died. silena was the traitor, the one who betrayed chb, yet after she died campers celebrated her as a hero? and then drew suddenly has to replace her and live up to idk that legacy she left behind,, when all of a sudden this girl named piper swoops in and takes her place. idk abt u but i wld be salty abt that too. not only that, but as an asian, the chances of drew having faced racism/bullying as a child is pretty high (she studies at brooklyn academy). which means that when she finds out shes a demigod, and arrives at chb where most of the campers are white (this is an assumption btw), she’d obviously be scared of being bullied for her skin color right?? so the first thing she wld do before the campers get to bully her is to bully them before they can do so. (sentence structure here is wack i apologize) ofc this might not even have happened, drew could have had a perfect childhood && was a b1tch for no reason, BUT EVEN THEN HER ROLE AS A BULLY WAS PRETTY VITAL BECAUSE THAT FURTHER SHOWED THE CONTRAST BETWEEN HER AND PIPER,, HIGHLIGHTING PIPER AS A HERO//GOOD CHARACTER,, AND THEREFORE MAKING READERS LIKE PIPER MORE. anyway stop hating on drew please. ALSO WHY IS THIS SO LONGA SDFJHG

- jason isnt bland, the fandom just kinda erased his backstory (thanks to @pjohoo-memes for the phrasing lol)

- reynabeth wouldnt have lasted/would have broken up several times. idk i just see them as two extremely powerful characters who have firm opinions and will definitely clash at some point. in a platonic relationship,, i can see them as really good friends but as lovers? idk i just think theyll break up

- PIPABETH

- i dont really like jercy,, i see them as better friends than lovers. also idt jason and percy were that close..?

- the dam and not my type jokes are srsly cringey and were never funny. ik that seems hypocritical since my username literally makes use of the dam joke but honestly i dont actually like the joke. its not funny to me and has never been funny

- the seven were not best friends. they definitely argued,, and honestly probably werent as close as the fandom makes them seem. like ure dumped with 6 other people, out of which u only know a few. my introverted ass would have jumped off the argo 2 quicker than leo valdez could bomb camp jupiter up. also leo was a dick to frank. so what if frank is bigger sized?? thats not a valid reason to tease him

- the fandom needs to stop hating on octavian while worshipping luke. if u hate luke and u say u hate octavian too, then okay. but if u tell me ure a luke stan but u despise octavian?? imma disagree w u. luke was worse than octavian im sorry. first of all, octavian being a dick was kinda justified. hes been after the praetor position for so long, and everyone keeps saying to “wait for jason” when suddenly this dude, whos a son of NEPTUNE (neptune wasnt liked much by romans), and the camp decides to make him praetor?? dude i would be pissed off big time. and then afterwards, he finds out that greek demigods are real and the dude they made praetor is greek. AND THEN GREEK DEMIGODS COME TO CJ AND ONE OF THEM BOMB IT UP?? octavian has been told all his life that greeks are scum and this dude called leo valdez attacks cj. sure it was an accident, but did octavian know that? no. so it was honestly justified that he was such a salty prick im just saying. also some of yall be hating on octavian for cutting a teddy bear open and thats the funniest shit ive ever heard i swear

- luke didnt go to elysium

- travis and connor stoll r way too underrated. the two have been head counselors of the hermes cabin since luke was revealed as a traitor, can u imagine the stress? luke, the person they probably looked up to as a brother, betrayed them. and they didnt even have time to process this when they were thrown the roles of being hcs. that would have been so stressful and i would probably have broken down if i were them. the stoll brothers taking turns to wake up at ungodly hours because a new camper is crying and homesick and terrified, the stoll brothers having to comfort and take care of new campers, having to deal with the amount of people in that cramped space because not enough campers are being claimed fast enough. having to resolve issues between campers in the hermes cabin all the time. the stolls arent just comedic relief, and we need to stop treating them as such

- tratie shldve been canon idc idc

- demigods of the demeter cabin arent talked about enough and i love the fact that meg was demeters kid. like she isnt the child of one of the big three yet shes so powerful.

- we need to hype clarisse up more her character arc was phucking amazing

- rachel is overhated. sis found out greek gods exist and regularly come down to earth to fuck around and went “ok cool”. queen shit behavior methinks

- the floor 19 crew of mcga is srsly underrated. like do u even remember halfborn gunderson, mallory keen, tj, etc??? bc i feel like we only remember samirah, magnus, alex, and sometimes blitz and hearthstone

- sadie (tkc) was kinda annoying at first. i like her more now tho but i rmb not liking her for a phat while

- tkc and mcga need more love

- carter kane and jason grace arent boring. theyre just really sweet boys who are too good for this world and yes yes yes

- hazel and frank (especially frank) need to be hyped up more. i hardly ever see anything about them. also yall seem to forget that frank was literally made praetor and that even hecate admired hazel and was willing to fight beside her because of how powerful she was

- frazels age gap is kinda sketch but i still think theyre really cute

- nico definitely had trauma from going to tartarus on his own

- GROVER IS PERCYS BEST FRIEND

- annabeth isnt smarter than leo but neither is leo smarter than annabeth. ive seen a lot of discussions about who is smarter and heres my hot take on it: neither. theyre equally smart, just in different ways. leos a genius mathematically speaking. he has no issues solving math problems meant for people much, much older than him. annabeth on the otherhand, is great at strategies etc. she can make an army of 1000 more powerful than the enemy, even if theyre outnumbered. so in my opinion, both are equally as smart//u cant compare their intelligence, because their talents lie in two different areas.

- while i do agree rick riordan isnt a god and that hes bound to make mistakes,, AND that hes given us a lot of representation,, if the representation offends the people its sposed to represent, then theres a problem. im talking about piper as a poc and wearing feathers in her hair. im not a poc, so i cant speak for them on whether or not its wrong, because i dont know either. HOWEVER, i have seen multiple posts BY pocs talking about how they didnt really like rick’s representation of piper, and thats an issue. pocs have been and are still oppressed and discriminated against by many. as a white cis man, we cant really blame him for not knowing (tho he could have done a research,, asked some pocs,, idk), but by representing pocs in that manner, hes influencing impressionable kids/teens into thinking “oh pocs wear feathers in their hair all the time” etc, which isnt true. the pjo/hoo series is extremely successful, and kids who read the books will probably start forming inaccurate opinions on pocs. the amount of fan art that depicts piper with feathers in her hair dont help either. “but rick said so in the books, so its canon” yeah well rick isnt a god and he can get some things wrong at times. im not saying we should cancel him, im saying we should start educating ourselves and not spread false info like pocs wearing feathers in their hair all the time. also that snake song shit where she sang Summertime was just- yeah. bc heres the thing you can be racist, and still include minorities, but portray them in a racist way. And even then, ignorance isn't a thing to admire. Getting those facts wrong still has a major impact. It continues to perpetuate racist stereotypes.

“ With the feather thing, I looked it up myself; it takes less than five minutes to figure out that Cherokees don't braid feathers into their hair. I didn't grow up in the country where my parents are from. I have many other first/second generation American friends who have also been through that, with a bit of a disconnect from their culture. But something that most of us have in common is that when we didn't know something, and when our parents weren't that big of a help, we looked it up. We sought out resources online and through other people from our culture to be able to connect more with where we came from. Some of that took a Google search. So I find it hard to believe that Piper, a girl who Rick's trying to portray as someone who is attempting to connect with her culture and is totally against racist stereotypes, wouldn't know that eagle feathers aren't supposed to be braided into your hair casually. She may be disconnected from her culture, but she's also shown to want to connect back to it. Piper wouldn't be casually braiding feathers into her hair while also telling off people for being racist. It makes no sense.” - reddit thread (down below)

for those of yall who wanna know more please please read this, it has a lot of things i wanna add in here : https://www.reddit.com/r/camphalfblood/comments/gy3gl2/piper_mcleans_portrayal_is_innacurate/

as well as https://finding-my-culture.tumblr.com/post/189422373260/maxie-ratties-and-cattie-finding-my-culture

i will be posting screenshots of these in future posts so if ure viewing this on ig and u dont have tumblr,, dont worry

- the fact that most of the strong female characters in the series refuse to be “girly”, and ngl i dont really like that. just because ure girly doesnt mean u cant be strong.

- piper would have been a great way for him to start making the strong characters act girlier, but instead he went with the “I’m not like other girls” trope which is quite obnoxious to hear constantly, and I don’t think it’s necessarily great for younger girls to read that idea growing up. the closest we've ever had to a strong female character who was also into "girly" things was Silena. when I was younger I admired Piper's "I'm not like other girls" thing, but then I got older and realized that the whole mentality of "not like other girls" is super obnoxious, and a little bit toxic

i have a heck load more that i cant rmb rn but yeah feel free to add more

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dukeofonions · 3 years

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hi so i.found ur blog and its honestly like a breath of fresh air to look at so if its ok i might just fuckin,,vent here.

so. ik a lot of other people have been talking abt how pof was really straining to watch and i am.very late to the party but i need to talk abt it bcz holy fuck. when i first watched it i was in a way better place mwntally, also the general excitement of wow,content kinda overrode the headache and the eye hurty and the just. bad. but i was rewatching it recently because i was basing a fic off it and i just. i couldnt finish it because all of it was just so much and there was no fuckin warning?? so that was pog ig

next thing because i have. a lot of thoughts. ive been in the fandom for not-very-long, i joined in the middle of 2019 or something.and it just kinda sucks because im only still here for the fandom. i love the series but i can only watch dwit and compilations of logan/roman being sad so much before i can basically recite them off the top of my head. but i reallyreally love writing for the fandom!! it makes me so happy to do the writing, its just the fact that im not as invested with the series that makes me feel,,idk man guilty ig?? anyway thats too deep for a rant so im.a move on

god so tw me not liking post aa virgil and me talking abt toxic friends but hoooly fuck man. i just. pre aa virgil was fun because he was snarky and sarcastic and i could actually stand the nagst because his character made sense?? he was the 'bad guy' and he wasnt as woobified back then and he was honestly a solid vibe. but post aa virgil gives off the vibe of that one friend who fuckin, gets angry at you when you bring up any of your mental health issues and then blames their outburst on their mental health issuea and its like?? no i hate that character dynamic. people say bad things when the feel bad, sure, ik i have, but its the vibe of 'im gonna threaten you and then blame it on my mental health but if you so much as look at me wrong while ur having sensory overload or something i will smite you with the force of one thousand suns' and i am just.so tired. also ithink someone else said this but we should just call the series 'virgil sanders and the rest' because thats what it is now ksbdjqkbsq

also (all ofthese are my opinions btw and im not trying to say im rigbt im just tired honestly) the way. in pof the way patton's whole thing is 'you need empathy' is not funky fresh for both people with low empathy and high empathy 😎 bcz ppl with too much/too little empathy are always told theyre 'cold' or that theyre 'oversensitive', the whole 'there is an average amount of empathy and if u dont have that fuck you actually' is icky and bad and gross. i do think patton's character is really well done in the series but that episode jjust personally. ick.

and finally the moment uve not been waiting for bcz this is probably really tiring to read but the moment youve been waiting for-fwsa.just. why. its cute and stuff and i love nico. nico is a vibe. also bathroom man john is great. but shouldnt roman still be on shit terms with thomas?? like lk we're just gonna sweep away the whole 'i thought i wad ur hero' shizz? cool cool, glad to know romans arc still aint happening. also i get it, we needed to cement that virgil is a light side now. but like..did we?? actually bcz this is so long im gonna send in a second ask (im sososorry if this clogs up ur ask box if u tell me to stop i will i just. many thoughts) abt how even though i hate virgil, his arc should have been done. so differently. just gonna put like,, a mushroom emoji here so u can put the 2 asks together if u want 🍄

You’re always free to vent here! Sorry it took so long to respond but life has a cruel habit of getting in the way of things I need to do.

So for starters, the POF problem should be talked about more so I can assure you that you’re not late to the party. It never really got the amount of attention it deserved so I am more than willing to bring that back up and trust me, you’re not alone.

And again, you’re not alone in this either! Plenty of people still enjoy creating content for these characters. You don’t have to feel guilty for not finding the actual series interesting because honestly, I’m kinda losing interest too. But I still love these characters and I love that the fandom is still creating stories with them through different mediums.

Honestly I agree with just about everything you said about Virgil and I do eventually plan on tackling a lot of this in a future post. You know, if I ever force myself to just sit down and write the dang thing...

Oh my gosh I’ve been waiting for someone to talk about this because that whole thing about empathy in POF really ticked me off because you’re absolutely right, not everyone is 100% empathetic, and some people can be empathetic to a point where it hurts themselves. Like I get what they were trying to say but it came across as, well, like you said. “If you’re don’t have this exact level of empathy then eff you I guess you’re a bad person.” Maybe that actually wasn’t their intention but it sure came across that way and maybe I’ll go into it a little more in another post because now that I’ve been reminded of it again I kinda wanna talk about it more.

Okay yes, FWSA on its own is a good episode. Heck, it’s one of my favorites. It feels closer to a season one episode than ATHD that’s for sure. The problem with this episode isn’t the quality but the fact that it comes right after POF. And I’ve basically gone over this in my “Problem With Asides” post and how it affects both Roman and Virgil’s current arcs so I won’t go into much more detail here but just know that I pretty much agree with all of this.

Also don’t worry about cluttering up my inbox. It’s here for people to share their thoughts and that’s exactly what you’re doing! Hope to see your part two soon mushroom anon!

#dukeofasks #ts criticism #virgil criticism #pofaffair

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smol-grey-tea · 3 years

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I was gonna write the romo attraction thing today but honestly i dont feel like doing it bc im just rlly upset about smth that im sure a lot of ppl can relate to

So my irl friend groups are very... well they dont know much about these kinds of things, i had to be a walking encyclopaedia for them about my identities like nb stuff bc they didn't bother to just... look it up.

When i told them i was trans they would say "omg are you actually trans?? I have a trans best friend!!" Yikes

Instead they would ask me to explain it. Which is fine, i kinda hate having to explain for the 5th time that no, using the correct terms and pronouns is not a fucking burden, and that yes, dysphoria is awful and wont just magically go away.

and when i tell them to yk, not use pronouns for me and just use my name instead, not 1 person did that. They just... misgendered me and used she/her when i explicitly told them that it makes me dysphoric. I then told them to use coo/coos/cooself instead bc i quite like it, but they still didnt use it.

Then i gave up and told them to use they/them since it doesnt make me dysphoric even tho i lowkey hate it. They still misgender me but said "they'll try to get used to it". Its not that hard guys what the actual fuck???

Anyway, i was actually going to talk about aspec stuff. So i only told one of them that i was demiromantic demisexual, and they said "wtf is that" which yk is not a nice way to react to someone coming out, but i have thick skin so i just explained it bc again they couldnt bother to search it, and they said "ok ig" and changed the subject when i wanted to explain my attraction???? I've never had anyone that i could talk to about my complicated feelings with being aspec and just when i thought i could i was shut down.

I thought it was over and done with, until they started to... ignore my fucking identity??? Which i would say is way more important and personal to me than my bisexuality??? They never did any of that bs with my bisexuality probably bc they were pansexual themself, but jfc is it that hard to not make jokes about me being horny or having a crush or joking about setting me up on blind dates??? It legit made me so uncomfortable and i have no idea what to say.

Bc remember, they didnt exactly respect my pronouns and kept using gendered terms to refer to me even more after i came out??? I swear it feels like its on purpose every time they called me a girl but whatever

Istg they forgot that im demi bc they keep making these jokes and ignoring that i dont feel sexual or romantic attraction like that and keep acting as if i want to date ppl or fuck them when i say they look pretty??? I spent way too fucking long mistaking my aesthetic attraction for sexual for ppl to once again reinforce this idea and im done with it. Please for the love of god stop it.

I said i liked wilbur and thought he was rlly cute and they then proceeded to, you guessed it, act like im in love with him or that i want to fuck him. First of all, hes a real person on the internet that i do not know, 2nd of all, fucking eww, and 3rd of all, hes a whole ass adult and we r both in high school. Yikes again.

Ofc i didnt tell them these things and just said that i dont like him that way and just thought he was pretty and nothing else. They completely ignored this and thought i was just embarrassed or smth or that i was in denial. Yikes again again.

So yeah. The only lesson i learned is to never come out as aspec to anyone irl ever again. Tbh i kinda want to tell them that im not bi and that i dont feel any kind of attraction. It would be a lie but christ i wish they would stop. They can validate my bisexuality but not my nb or aspec identities? I knew that queer sexualities were more normalized now which is awesome but why cant they do that for trans ppl or aspecs? Why does it have to stop there?

Sorry for venting like this but i thought this might be relatable for yall. Ive never had the experience of feeling "broken" bc of any of my identities, im very confident in them. I just wish other ppl other than my online friends would feel the same.

Also sorry for delaying the romo attraction thingy i just rlly dont feel like it rn. Idk when i will write it but hopefully if i feel better i will finish it today

There's no pressure to write it up dude it's cool :) whenever you're ready ❤

And those ppl do not sound like good friends- idk exactly how old you are but ik I'm older, and I can tell you for certain that you will find better friends one day. It's guaranteed :) they don't deserve your friendship and I am glad to validate and help you in any way you need ❤❤

Yee I've never felt broken either! I think an element of that is that I thought I was allo for a very long time? But on the other hand I was bullied in my childhood for not having attraction so idk why that hasn't manifested into a phobia of romance but eh I'm better off this way whether it makes sense or not.

It makes me happy as well cuz a lot of ppl in the community seem very pessimistic abt how we're treated but it's nice to know that not all of us feel broken cuz the 2 of us are living examples of that :)

But unfortunately yeah, your experiences above are things many ppl can relate to. I'm sure almost everyone can remember a time where they came out to someone and weren't met with good responses,,

Let this be a reminder that this is not right and we deserve more support for something so personal. Even if you don't understand someone's identity that doesn't give you the right to dismiss or ignore them. Our identities are very important and personal to us and supporting them is basic respect.

#my post #ask #long post #lgbtq #aspec #aroace #aroacespec #non binary #transgender #neutralitea #transphobia tw #aphobia tw #acephobia tw #arophobia tw #swearing cw

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talesoftextposts · 3 years

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Exactly! Crestoria is not the only game they don't really keep tabs with. A while ago i played a saint seiya game by them and it had many many issues. If you cannot have multiple games with quality than please don't. Is bad for us and the employees, those poor people must be going crazy :c

At first I liked kasque, quite different than what I would expect from a goddess, but I ended disliking her...

I feel kinda bad for aegis just being a punching bag for jokes and Yuna just being there to look pretty, they have a lot of potential for the story. Like you said Yuna had a great point and a good reflection moment but whatever eh? Aegis too, I felt his story like a punch on the gut because I tend to be like him and the queen, but again, whatever...

I do the arena for the free stuff too! I am not competitive at all XD

hello again anon!! im going to do another readmore gksghkeg

yeah i honestly...ugh. i have just a lot of issues w bamco in general but i also Do Not want them to pay attention to me jic they tell me to stop making memes or something stupid like that— like genuinely instead of making the game more functional or adding like...idk. any story or shit that makes Sense they just added things like the transcendence board which is just. for ppl who already maxed out their ascension boards?? after like 6 months??? Y'ALL... ik for a while too the phantom tower was Waaayyy too difficult but i think they nerfed it back to normal considering i can now clear thru level 40 at least :/ but overall the game is just. geared towards ppl who drop fucktons of cash on it. if you look at the ppl in the top 3 in arena rn? you KNOW they've spent hundreds if not thousands of dollars on this game. what the fuck.

also minor gripes are just...they don't add very many new units anyway, compared to like even asteria, and i get that there's effort for the whole models or w/e but...i mean if rays can do it... and i don't mean that in the rate that banners are released, bc those are...kind of annoyingly often as of late (looking @ all the crestoria cast alts) but the fact they're only for 1 or 2 charas who are Only ssrs, and it genuinely makes r and sr stones and sr charas just...obsolete and useless imo? like i genuinely have EVERY sr AND r full awakened/ascended which. is probs partly due to the drop rates being Absolute Garbage, but thank god they implemented a pity system, right? ...right? [tired sigh] i've saved enough for julius who has been in crestoria for 228 days, bamco, fucking release h—

i also want to add that i've contacted support MULTIPLE times abt issues w the game and they have legit just told me "hm sucks have u tried playing the game w all other apps closed" like yes, bamco, but that's not the problem??

SORRY for several paragraph rant abt the gameplay i just have some very strong opinions LMAO

i understand not liking kasque! tales antags...and characters in general, actually, are rather hit or miss. i personally just love evil women so im rlly in love w her GSKEHGESKHG

but as for the aegis and yuna things... YEAH. i rlly love them both and it's been extremely disappointing to see how they've been treated by the story :( like even if yuna's acting silly to cover her own feelings, it would be nice to get those scenes we get in other tales games (like...idk even the scenes in xillia like where alvin and elize sit and talk in the park, and leia talks w i think jude or milla depending on the route?) considering it's like...is penelope going to be okay? can she ever go back to her?? is she okay just crossing the sea and leaving her, even if there's really no choice??? sorry for the character introspect i just have a lot of thoughts—

aegis too, it's like. i don't mind teasing to an extent, but i really feel sometimes they go too far w it :( esp in like. events and the character episodes moreso than the main story (tho i could be remembering incorrectly) which makes me wonder if they just have different writers for each but even THEN like the main story still fails to act like yuna and aegis Exist half the time?? and JEEZ yeah i am constantly thinking abt aegis and queen rebecca, esp imo it's just a very... well first of all, that has to be Traumatizing As Hell but second of all i strongly headcanon he was unable to say it bc he didn't mean it and also i have a headcanon that the whole event has kept him from ever saying the words "i love you" ever again so that's that on THAT. (these are my headcanons pls don't send me hate over them they're not canon i promise—)

and honestly same!! i used to be sss rank and then i stopped caring abt arena for a bit and dropped a couple ranks...oops. i'm currently s-5 and had to FIGHT to keep myself there this season. it's not that i rlly care abt winning or being high ranking. or first, even, i just want the prizes from being at a certain rank/placing tbh. which is why.....................................oh im so tired of the ppl with lvl 120 fully awakened new ass units like i GET IT you have MONEY but i am not spending that much on a mobile game!!

ANYWAY thank u for coming to my ted talk omfg im so sorry this is so long (again)

#mod.txt #SSSSSSSSORRYYYYYYY #if u disagree w me pls don't yell at me im sensitive—#these are just my onions i pr #anyway i again apologize for a v long post where i just. bitch abt crestoria ig that's my life now

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woozi · 3 years

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i agree how you described twt, sometimes everyone's just ready to fight it seems, i've genuinely had fun on both platforms at different times but now it's just too much on stan twt (no space for difference of opinion djsjdjj) it's good to know you're having fun as well :3 & omg i've seen few of my moots starting to give svt their attention after fallin flower dropped, everything abt it is <3333 the song, mv, choreo i love it.

hdjdjddkdjdj " virgos 😐 " also me in next breath "happy birthday mark :D i love you so much 🥺💕💗" any virgos reading this i really hope you enjoy your month to the fullest djjdjd <3. righttt?? you're correct abt mark's temper being very virgo djdjdkd.

your line screams hard-working people <3 jihoon, jaebeom, jeonghan the 3Js <3. isn't jaebeom also an infj? (i don't take mbtis seriously but at the same time it also makes me happy if it ends up matching someone i like djdjjd) chan & yugs 🥺 these two imo have the sweetest personality, like the one which makes you feel welcomed & they also have the cutest laugh 🥺.

i love jus2 <3 focus on me is one of my favorite kpop mvs of all time & also drunk on you??? i love this song so much, very sexy of them. the vibes, style and everything w/ their album, i want more songs like that. and for when i am feeling melancholy i need more songs like jjp's verse 2 😭💔 but i am also okay if they don't want to go back to these units bcoz everything so far they've been giving is just as great <33 ( maybe in future we'll get blessed w/ features 🥺)

honestly g7 as grp and individually have won me over with their music style, even if i don't like full album ik there will be 3-4 songs which will be exactly what i like to listen to, all of the music they've released individually i've liked it so much. there is this song of youngjae's, titled "i'm all ears" i had no idea of its existence until it popped up in my spotify i'm so glad it did, it's been in my playlist ever since. there was also a time when i was obsessed with jackson's 'on the rocks' djdjdk.

aww <3 the live performance video of 1° has mark as thumbnail so for long time i used to associate this song with him jdjddk. i think the only j*pe thing i'd miss is got7 studio live sessions 🥺. RIGHTJDKSKS aju nice's mv is very cute djjddk I love it, in reality its reverse tho, i see them and boom! 💖💛💗🤍💕💙

it was the year they won first bb*as award so that gave them the exposure, and no i don't follow them anymore. mixed feelings abt them, very negative feelings abt f*ndom fjdjdjd. i do miss what it used to feel like liking them sometimes. at that time i never thought i'll willingly drop them from my interest (i've stanned zayn since 2012 first him as grp member then solo. sometimes thinking abt it gives me a whiplash hddjks it's been 9 years, really thought it would be same with them too but it didn't happen)

i've had falling in love by yugs and in to you by jaebs on loop for days djdkdk i really love these two songs and also air by bammie <3 (i'm slow jams kinda person djdjdk :3)

(bam released the most fun album & title this year idc abt others, ribbon is one of the soty) also special mention of look so fine & running through the rain. yes! you do make sense they feel organic & very them.

exactly 😭 it's more believable when they drop stuff out of nowhere like encore 😭😭. the way youngjae posted his letter on twt too ddjjdkssk the announcement & release of encore is such a 'you just had to be there' situation the excitement, nervousness, confusion and everything 😭 sometimes i can't with them. also is the bibi with mark on ost, the same one you mentioned in last ask? the ost is really good <3, it must've been fun to see it happen (if its same bibi).

making a whole ass playlist just for me???? 😭😭😭🥺💗 yza you're so sweet nooooo 💖

and don't worry abt replying late jdjdkdjd i mean it, sometimes my friends text me after weeks and i'm am the same. it's really okay <3. i hope this week is treating you kindly, take care yza - 🪂

p.s ( just saw last post djjej) - it was me who manifested more bunny dino <3 manifesting even more <33

i was on stan twt during my younger years too and it was v fun and memorable to me ngl <3 idk what happened though.. it's evolved to be.. Something Else.. i still see a lot of good people there though 😭 and now that i'm in my Hag Era... idk it's just too fast for me now 😭 it's still my go-to place for updates though nothing can top twitter on that dept

and ms fallin flower.... i feel like everyone was blown away by it (based off of what i see carats when talk about it) and rightly so!! she SERVED. the looks too oh my god. it's another factor i look forward to and enjoy so much when i watch their performances!!

u know what? virgos 😐 indeed KJJKDFJKFDJKFDKJ i want to slander virgos today because it's their season and no one slanders them that often so <3 ABOUT MARK'S VIRGO TEMPER THOUGH... i know i've said i enjoy seeing it sm but whenever i think abt it i cant help but say that.. I Love His Temper <3 he doesn't get pissed off in a scary and douchebag-y way it seems so... contained?? IDK HOW TO DESCRIBE IT he punched an a/c though so that might not be the perfect word to describe him lmaoo <3

THE J TRINITY HFDJFJDJHDF BESTIE UR MIND IS SO!!!!!!!!!!! honestly... maybe it's the acts of service for me <3 JKDFKJFDKJFJKD i think this is just my eldest sister and savior syndrome speaking though kfjkdkjf ALSO OH MY GOD THE WAY U NOTICE THESE THINGS <3 THAT'S SO SEXIE OF U!!! and yes he used to be an infj!! there was an interview that's more recent wherein he mentioned that he's now an enfj though but i cant rmb which interview it's from :/ ALSO MOOD FKJJKGJGKF i dont believe in mbtis too but im just... a little obsessed w it for the fun of it all <3 and the way u described them </3 what if i tear up a little </3 I LOVE CHAN'S LAUGH SO MUCH BUT IM SO SOS O GLAD U BROUGHT UP YUGYEOM'S LAUGH??????????? IT'S NOT TALKED ABT ENOUGH LIKE...... HELLO!!!!!!!!!!! one of my bird moots said he sounded like a schoolboy in choir 😭😭😭😭😭😭

GOD UR TASTE!!!!!!! what if i start falling in l*ve a little :/ what then :/ focus on me was ahead of it's time and people fucking slept on THEM i cannot fucking believe this. this has to be some kind of sick joke 😭 ALSO HAVE U SEEN THE CHOREO FOR SENSES!!!!!!1 INCREDIBLE!!!!!!!!!! holy fuck!!!!!! sorry for the expletives but like.... holy SHIT they did THAT!!!!!!!! ALSO UR SO RIGHT </3 jjp verse 3 when... ALSO did u know i let go of the jjprojects url... thats the worst mistake of my life KDKJDSKJDSJK also agree wholeheartedly <3 i think they're all trying to find their footing this time around as soloists and im so proud of them for that!! i'll stand by my jus2 agenda though bc they're almost in the same company so maybe.. i might have hope left 😭

SO TRUE BESTIE!!! the same principle goes w svt for me as well <3 got7's such a flavorful group musically like... all of them have the capacity to go solo and they're still considered flops.. waht the fuck <3 ALSO OMG FJDKJFKFJD YOU'VE HEARD The Song!!!!!!!! maybe he'll be releasing something along those lines <3 esp now that he's supposedly coming w an album KJSJKDJSK on a similar note.. do u also listen to jamie (the other artist on the song) <3 NOO SHUT UP THIS CANNOT BE FOR REAL!!!!!!!!!!!!!1 i was obsessed w on the rocks too 😭😭😭😭😭😭 IT WAS MY FAVORITE ON THE MIRRORS ALBUM HELLO??????????????????????????? im proposing to u rn

ok now i have to watch all the live vids again JKDSJKSJDKDSKJ ik keep saying 'ur so right', 'i agree', and 'so true bestie' but im gonna have to say this again bc i LOVE LOVE LOVE live sessions sm no matter the artist. i also just am a little partial to live bands in performances like that in general so JDJKKDSJDS

the way you're saying these cute things abt the svteenies.. </3 giving me heartache!!! i'd bully them though i can't coddle them anymore <3

not the fandom JKFDKJFDKJFDKJFKJF ok but i think it's mostly their younger fans tbh. it wasn't this bad before.. i also really liked bts during their debut days. their songs were really good!! i kind of lost interest though and couldn't really get into them although their songs slapped lol. my irls are still into them though so i still hear about them. 9 YEARS............................... wait oh my god it HAS BEEN a little over a decade since 1d was The Thing huh 😭 now i feel kinda old lmao. and i totally get that feeling </3 it really do be like that sometimes JKFDJKJKFD

you really ARE keeping up w the sevens oh my god how are you doing it!!!!!!!!!!! it's like getting svt content now at this point but more complicated bc u need to get the updates from different sources JDKJSDKJJSKD love ur song choices too <3

ALSO FULLY RELATE!!!!!!!!!!!!!! when i saw bam's teasers... the aes was my cup of tea and THE HIGHLIGHT MEDLEY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! i can't fucking get it out of my mind it's objectively one of the best things i've seen from kpop in 2021. i'm super impressed <3 love how abyss really supported bambam on this. they really went all in for him!!

I KNOW GKJDFJDK I GOT SUPER ???????/// DURING THE TIME EVERYONE THOUGHT THEY WERE DISBANDING LMAOOOO they pulled a move that's so unheard of though no one really expected That. i respect jaebeom so much for handling all the paperwork and shit behind the scenes it must've been HELL!! ALSO IT MEANT I CRIED FOR NOTHING THEN 😭😭😭 AND YES OH MY GOD IT'S THE SAME BIBI!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! THE SHOCK I HAD WHEN I SAW THE LIST????????????????????????? thought i was gonna black out like,,, mark,,, AND BIBI??????????????? she's fucking phenomenal how is she just a YEAR older than me.. INSANE!!! ... and i also thought jackson was gonna have an ost for this movie.. idk why it wasn't released though i didnt look into it :/

i had a rough few days so i'm not yet finished with the playlist (my laptop's Dead i am still trying to revive her and uni's starting soon 😭) but for the mean time, here's another one that some people from caratblr previously asked for JDSJKSDJ these are mostly english songs though its not my k-playlist KJDSKJSDJK

i do hope this week gets better!!! and i hope that you'll have a fun one too <3 thank u for being so patient w me 🥺 i just get so many messages and find the need to recharge FDKJDFJK

ALSO I FELT LIKE IT WAS U!!!!!! OH MY GOD, i even searched my blog for the word manifest but for some reason your ask didn't come up in the search so i didnt mention u in the tags so i wont misattribute if it ends up not being u 😭 thank u for manifesting this chan for me he's my little... hop hop now ig... 😭

#lov u u genuinely make my days better!! <#*<3 #also the way u called me by name... passing out rn </3 #🪂 anon #anon #y.ask #long post

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