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probably-haven · 3 years

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Hello!! After seeing what you wrote about xiaoven fics I went to see what things you usually write and omg, your archon Venti headcanons????? I am absolutely in love. So if it isn't annoying, could you talk about xiaoven or Venti or Xiao or whatever ship or character you like? I don't care what you are going to say, I just want to know more about your thoughts ^^

I- is this... bestie, this is essentially a free ramble pass- kerujsgheskdfug. Trust me when I say that in no way is this, and in no way will it ever be annoying in the slightest- i literally- lets just say rambling off thoughts is kind of my specialty, especially when provided a topic to branch off of because otherwise I'm just- really indecisive about it so- iujskdh yeah- 100% definitely down to talk about Venti, Xiao, and/or Xiaoven XD. Also, yes- it may have been awhile since i last posted one(cuz again, indecisive about which direction to take part 5), but the Archon War Era Venti headcanons are still without a doubt my favorite posts I've made. It's just such an interesting topic with such endless potential that so few people actually think about or consider or even realize is there, so i always just get really psyched whenever i see someone interact with them lol.

.... this ended up being a bit of a mess: warning in advance

Anyway! onto the actual content!

- You see the thing about Xiaoven is that there's a lot of different ways that it could end up working out, and just personally my favorite way of portraying Xiaoven in my mind is as an unlabeled relationship because if anyone in genshin would give off that vibe its these two. And a number of other reasons.

- Firstly, I heavily headcanon Venti as being an aroace polyplatonic or perhaps heavily demiromantic. However, regardless of this I just don't think that Venti is really the kind of person to worry about how he should label his feelings, thinking it's silly to try to put them in one box or the other, especially with feelings and emotions being as fluid as they are in general. Plus it fits his whole God of Freedom vibe. I just- dont think he's the biggest fan of labels or social categorization in general.

- And secondly on the hand of Xiao... his defense mechanisms are very much ingrained in his personality. It's probably hard enough for him to not go into fight or flight(the answer is fight) at the slightest affection at first, at the slightest feeling of vulnerability. Even further down the line, with his fierce dedication to Liyue, I cant help but get the vibe that the moment he recognized that he was falling for Venti he would begin avoiding him, not only to avoid distraction from his duty, but to avoid corrupting him or losing him in general like he has with like basically every other person he gets close with(even believing that the cycle had repeated once more when he first heard of Morax's death)... now imagine Venti tryna slap a label on their relationship and tell me Xiao would have a positive reaction.

- The thing with Xiaoven.... honestly, i feel like theres more ways that it can go wrong than it can go right, but if they do manage to make their relationship work out, it's just simply beautiful in all terms of the word.

- Lets talk about killing. - During the Archon War, both were forced to kill a large number of people and gods alike- Venti out of a need to remain alive to protect Mondstadt, it's freedom, and the nameless bard's legacy by extent- and Xiao out of servitude to the god that was once his master

..... actually- break here- ive talked a lot about Venti on this blog but I havent actually spoken about Xiao all that much- so i should probably do that a bit first... do note though that my characterization of Xiao is pretty flexible actually- this is just- the possible characterization of him that i tend to favor as being the most- uh- "realistically complex"

Theres a line I saw this one time in a certain story: "He is a trained weapon. That's what he is, was, and always will be. You cannot change that so stop trying." And i just- think its a really interesting concept- that applies pretty well to Xiao now that i actually think about it. - the concept behind it is this: After spending more than a vast majority of his life killing or otherwise in battle, it's become a part of who he is, a normalcy that after centuries and centuries would be near impossible to get rid of or reverse, and even if it was possible, with his karmic debt constantly eating away at him its unlikely he has enough time left for that to happen. - it sounds like a cruel thing to say about him- but in context it's actually pretty layered and i think about it a lot. It's not as much a "he's a killer lol, that his whole personality" its more of a "The centuries of trauma he experienced have conditioned him into a constantly alert and battle ready mindset while also shaping his dehumanizing inferior-in-worth-but-superior-in-capability view of himself that would have likely been necessary to get through those time, and at this point he's been under that conditioning for long enough that it's essentially ingrained itself in his personality."

- the main idea is- it's a part of who he is, that needs to be accepted as who he is because its not something that he can just up and change. It's not all he is of course but his constant battle mode, as though always waiting to be ambushed or to be granted a new target to eradicate.

a couple character story quotes:

-"His past of service under the evil god had rid Xiao of his innocence and gentleness. All that remained within him was the means to kill and the weight of his sins. The only way he could be of service to mortals was in combat." -"Xiao does not feel any hatred. Having lived for over two thousand years, no single karmic debt constitutes anything more than a fleeting memory. No grudge can last a thousand years; nor is any debt so great that it cannot be paid off in this time. Xiao has spent many long years alone. But his battles have never been in vain." -"where did Xiao have to return to? He was merely leaving the battlefield." -"since Xiao wages a constant war against dark forces powerful enough to devour Liyue in its entirety, any bystanders who witness him in the heat of battle are likely to end up as collateral damage." -"The war he fights can never be won, and will never come to an end." -"Because ultimately, the one with whom Xiao wrestles is himself."

i feel like at some point this very nearly did consume his whole personality, almost turning him into nothing more than a being of slaughter under Morax's control, devoid of any "humanity" at all, consumed and corrupted by his karmic debt like his fellow yakshas before him. - until he experienced a moment of clarity- a song in the wind, the peaceful melody of a dihua flute. - and pulled back from the border of something he wouldnt have been able to return from, there a was a shift in his mind- a concept grown unfamiliar enough with time that it took him a great time to identify what it was; a curiosity. Something that there was no place for on the battlefield, something that by all means should have been completely useless to Xiao, and yet he held onto that curiosity, slowly regaining over time, a sense of who he was and who he could choose to be with each song that the wind chose to carry towards him every once in a blue moon.

and eventually that curiousity turned to longing. Longing "for a day to come when he will wear the mask and dance — not to conquer demons, but to the tune of that flute amid a sea of flowers"

...... uh- heh- if you couldn’t tell already i have a tendency to make my characterizations/analyses of characters more serious that i probably should.

to summarize: Xiao is constantly toeing the line between his ingrained nature and his humanity- almost as though still trying to decide how much of that humanity he deserves to have, how much he is allowed to have, and how much is safe to have.

^looking back after writing this, i think the best way to explain it is that this is the view that i keep in mind/the lense that i tend to most enjoy looking through and refering back to while examining and/or analyzing his character, actions, story, lines, and overall personality.

idk- i kinda got off track but i just think its a really interesting interpretation to think about because it has some really interesting implications ig- it’s not the full extent of how i view him of course, but i kinda got ahead of myself and its long enough as is so ill just elaborate as i go- Lol i actually have in progress playlists for both him and venti and just- vibes- i could ramble about the playlists alone for hours explaining everything... It’s probably a problem- uh- ill keep going now lol.

anyways! stepping off the angst path for a brief break! Brought to you by their lines in the snow: both waiting for it to get thick enough, Venti for the purpose of a snowball fight and Xiao for the purpose of a tasty and nutritious breakfast.

but its actually something of note that Xiao doesnt actually need to eat so anything he does eat is usually out of obligation or enjoyment- so like.... snow.... like i dont blame him, but of all things- an adeptus who refuses to eat basically anything but almond tofu looks at the freezing-cold-floor-water that yeeted itself from above and decided at some point- damn- that seems more edible than basically ever single actually edible thing ever.... im gonna eat it- like- im glad if eating snow makes him happy but- at the same time...

He probably convinces Venti to eat snow too though and Venti wouldnt even resist I mean he’s wind and has probably consumed worse things in his time so- 2 anemo cryptids with glowing tattoos sitting in Dragonspine monching snow in the dead of night is an amusing thought to me.

- kay, now back to more serious-toned thoughts

One of the things about the ship that i really like is the different contradicting parallels between them:

A lot of how i view Xiao’s character is someone formed largely by the things he cant control and who was forced to accept that accepted that and learned to thrive in it as much as he can. Venti on the other hand is surrounded by things he cant control and is ever adapting to control as much as he can while embracing whatever he cant as being part of the unpredictability of the world, seeing beauty in it.

both of them have lost people and do what they do to honor their memory: Xiao continues to do what the Yakshas once did And Venti chooses to do what his friend couldn’t

Xiao’s power coming from himself and Venti’s from others And both seem to appear to use their power for their own gain while truly helping others behind the scenes

both have killed a lot of people during the archon war Xiao views it as another necessary event out of his control and Venti would likely view it as a tragedy he chose to enact himself

and this is where we meet out balance

Xiao- contrary to how i think a lot of people view him as thinking of himself as a monster- seems canonically to have accepted this as part of his duty, as long as those he killed are not mortals. I dont think he enjoys it no- but someone has to do it and he’s just accepted that its a part of his duty Venti on the other hand-

See the beauty of the ship- as someone with an angst-centric mind- is this- these are two of the most traumatized mfers in the game

Xiao is by far the one who needs the most help and who can serve to benefit most from the ship- but he is nowhere near self aware enough to recognize that there’s anything wrong or unhealthy about his mindset in the slightest-

whereas you have the contrast with Venti who sorted through most of his trauma with the nameless bard alone during the archon war and while the result appears more healthy- is still really not- but he’s not self aware of that either because i mean- who’s going to tell him? nobody even knows.

however- venti is aware enough to notice flaws in Xiao’s mindset and “Venti” enough to want to help them through it-

Xiao- while not aware enough to recognize the flaws in Venti’s mindset, can recognize where it contrasts with his own, and is blunt enough to point it out- and then it’s out there to be mulled over-

they’re so similar and yet so different and a feel just conversing between the two of them, being in each others precense, just being exposed to two mindsets that are so very different could do both of them a whole lot of good.

GEEE THAT BIT OF RAMBLING HAD LITTLE TO NO DIRECTION AT ALL- LET ME-- LET ME MAKE THIS START MAKING SENSE- WITH... DYNAMICS OR SOMETHING

I don’t think Xiao needs to sleep really- and i dont think that sleeping would do anything except make him uneasy at first- he’d probably just get nightmares after all he’s been through- but with Venti he would soon learn that it doesn’t have to be that way, lulled into the first peaceful sleep he’s had in... as long as he can remember.

anywho back to not making sense cuz im fickle and i think most questions about ships are best displayed through character interactions so like- a possible exchange thats cliche but cliches exist for a reason

Xiao: Why do you try so hard to help me, it isn’t easy. I know that much Venti, with the most adoring expression: Because you’re worth it, obviously Xiao: But surely there are others more deserving of- Venti: No Xiao, everyone is just as deserving as the next person, you included Xiao: Then why me above others? Venti: ehe, cuz ur my warrior of course [O//////O oh shit, hes right] Xiao: My contract is with Morax alone [gay panic but in broody yaksha]

it’s kinda difficult cuz neither of them really address their feelings. I mean Venti does but he does it very indirectly and its rare that he ever does it with like- genuine directness- even spilling his backstory was in the form of a song- and told in the third person- so a lot of their interactions would often have some deeper meaning, especially with Venti being the bard he is.

I come up with a lot of- errant thoughts about Xiaoven- but this is making me realize that a true analysis of their ship is rather difficult because it just encompasses so many dynamics so its hard to settle on just one and not go rambling about who knows what bouncing from one end of the ship to the other- Because you truly can and thats the beauty of it

within one moment you can be having a heartfelt conversation about the archon war the impact of lost friends and times past, and the next moment Venti is trying to forcefeed Xiao an apple while Xiao screams about disrespecting the adepti and its just- so lovely

so while they have picnics with nothing but apples, dandelion wine, and almond tofu they can sit down and talk about the dreams Xiao once devoured, and the dandelion wine and apple cider that the first Ragnvindir invented from the plants that never could have grown in Old Mond. The foods that tasted of familiarity, or of the grilled ticker fish Pervases always used to eat, foods that tasted of friends and frankly family that had since passed, glaze lilies and cecilias and qingxin flowers scattered in the surroundings and woven into Xiao’s neat braids and Venti’s now messy ones, rebraided by the steady and inexperienced hands of one unused to gentle action.

and then of course Venti steals Xiao’s tofu once the mood becomes too grim and replaces it with a bottle of wine that Xiao refers to as “vile poison,” a remark that fatally wounds Venti as he collapses on the floor, proclaiming how he can only be healed by a Yaksha’s kiss. Xiao ignores this of course and simply takes back his tofu with a slight smile on his face, but as Venti persists he soundlessly places a kiss on his own palm before intertwining their fingers and pulling him back up from where he was dramatically sprawled on the floor, grumbling about how such action was “unbecoming of an archon.” A sign of affection only Xiao would ever know about. But Venti is literally wind and I hc his senses work differently anyways so he definitely knows- plus Xiao’s face is red as the blood of his enemies and the way he is pointedly not looking at Venti at all really speaks volumes anyways.

-Venti playing epic battle music whenever Xiao goes into fights in what looks like a ridiculously extra performance to anyone else but is actually doing wonders to keep Xiao’s karma at bay

-Venti preaches the practice of “kissing wounds better” and Xiao is unfamiliar with this medical treatment but views it as unnecessary regardless because adepti have accelerated healing, doesn’t mean he’s going to stop him though.

-Messages whispered on the wind

-Venti’s 1000 year sleep- an accident, not a fun time for the yaksha, and not a fun time for Venti once he woke up. Venti is actually more afraid of restful sleep than Xiao is, hence the sleeping in trees thing, but when Xiao is there, he can sleep restfully with faith that Xiao wont let another millennia slip through his fingertips.

- Xiao tends to make excuses when doing things that aren’t necessary to his duty, like in his birthday voice line “Have this, it’s a butterfly i made from leaves... Okay. Take it. It’s an adepti amulet -- it staves off evil” because at the current point in his progress it helps him to feel like he’s allowed to do these things. Not wanting to put him off from progress, Venti never comments on his excuse but never fails to whisper a quick reminder of how proud he is of how far Xiao had come.

- Xiao’s karma saddens Venti greatly- not only because of how it effects Xiao but also because its a reminder that as much as Venti tries to honor the memory of those he’s killed, there will always be those who resent him for it, and when he took the option of living away from them, he truly can’t blame them. - And when he gets too wrapped up in thoughts, whether around this topic or similar ones or otherwise, eventually, he’ll hear the sound of a flute on the wind. It’s not divine by any means, but as his own wind connects him to the source, he gets the sentiment all the same. “What impact does one individual’s remaining wrath have on the present. You have done much to help the living in the present” the unspoken idea that Xiao has included himself in that statement, because now, with Venti’s help he’s beginning to learn just how to experience living for himself.

- Venti’s form and Xiao’s mask are off limit topics though because if either mentions it the other will counter with the opposite and the mood will turn immediately bitter at the idea that both know that what they’re doing is destructive but neither are willing to change

- Venti who has different tells for negative feelings than most people because as much as he likes to pretend it is- this form isnt his, and Xiao who is able to identify those

- many fanfics and headcanons have Venti recognizing when Xiao is uncomfortable and getting him out of those situations. I see that and I love it but i raise you: - Venti taking Xiao to Mondstadt, careful that he doesn’t get to the point that he’s uncomfortable. And nothing goes wrong exactly, but Xiao notices the the way Venti’s cape is blowing in the wind, the way he’s holding his weight, barely on his feet so much as floating on the wind, connected with the ground only for the sake of appearance, all the while he looks just as happy go lucky as ever. And without a word, he grabs his hand and teleports them both out of Mondstadt. - turns out it was just a slight thing that reminded him of the archon war (cuz i will die on the hill of him having more tragic backstory than just Decarabian), and he of course gives a sincere if not flustered thanks to Xiao, because he’s really not used to people noticing.

- Venti trying to vent sneakily through fictional stories and Xiao is just like “Didn’t that basically happen to you” and Venti is just like “<_< shit”

- Venti once said affectionally that he wished he had met Xiao sooner and Xiao immediately and seriously shot it down by saying “If you had, I would have been forced to kill you” and both of them now stay up at night wondering who would have won that fight, not sure which result would have hurt more. (because honestly I have no idea who would win in that fight and that terrifies me- I like to think it would have been one of those legends that end with “and the fight persists to this day” or something along those lines)

- “How long have you been together?” “Adepti have no need for-” “1000+ years T^T how dare you deny our love” “O///O our...? ...useless”

- its disney- let me explain- i have this- i have this headcanon inspired by watching too many animatics- - so venti has a human form that isnt his- which he would have had to get used to moving in- and he’s a bard- - uh- anyway- as a third degree black belt in mixed martial arts, i can speak as an authority on this(not really an authority since i havent gone since quarantine but lets pretend). We have a thing referred to as the big three(most things do), and those things are martial arts, gymnastics, and dance. The idea is that they reflect really well off of each other and the best in any one category are good in all three. Timing, balance, form, discipline, technique, hand-eye coordination, grace, ease of motion, they all play a part- anyway-

- Venti taking Xiao’s prowess in martial arts and acrobatics and teaching him how to dance, and as someone who’s extremely skilled in the first two, the third comes easy to him, almost naturally. And it’s delicate and beautiful and lovely and it isn’t hurting anyone. And Venti points all these things out and more and despite how much Xiao insists that he feels ridiculous he truly does enjoy it and it goes a long way towards helping him form more healthy views of himself and his worth. - Verr Goldett walked in on him once and made a joke about performing at the inn. unfortunately Venti was there and agreed on Xiao’s behalf before he could protest and- and it wasn’t as bad as Xiao thought it would be... he still wouldn’t do it again though without reason, but with good enough reasoning he could probably be convinced.

- anyways point is he likes dancing to Venti’s songs and i just think that’s really cute - just picture the idea that all the animatics you see actually have the potential to be canon- ugh

- venti tries holding something out of Xiao’s reach since he’s taller and Xiao just fucking teleports

- both need their space but when they dont, all they have to do is speak the other’s name and they’ll be there.

- and because i just had to.... love languages

- lets start with Xiao- i don’t think he’d view acts of service or quailty time as a love language tbh, and he blunt but really bad with words so affirmation is out, leaving gift giving and physical touch. However, he seems to view most material things as meaningless so- - Xiao who’s love language is in his fleeting touches, something he’s only recently grown comfortable with because of Venti, and now is giving back, which he knows he doesn’t have to do, but that he want’s to, though he’ll still continue to make excuses for each one. “you were shivering” “The inn is high up, you could have fallen..... I said what I said, you’d question an adeptus?”

- and as easy as it is to say words of affirmation for Venti- he does that for everyone- i want to say his is actually acts of service - its the acts of service that let him see just how much Xiao has progressed afterall, from teaching him to dance, to playing another song on the flute, to supplying him with the almond tofu he seems to enjoy so much. Every little thing he does helps Xiao to grow and he couldn’t be happier about that.

- of course most of my headcanons for the ship do take place latter into the relationship because- y’know the less serious unhealthy vibes allow for greater range of thought, but i do still love to think about the serious implications so i kinda hopped back and forth. So sorry about how messy it is btw, i kinda- got carried away- it kinda got some kind of structure near the end tho so- maybe it’s okay. anyway- back to... lol something, we’ll see where thought forests lead.

#genshin impact #genshin xiao #genshin venti #xiao #venti #xiaoven #genshin analysis #genshin headcanons #xiaoven headcanons #xiaoven analysis #this is a mess i really shouldnt be putting all these tags but oh well #oh wow the grammar and spelling here is truly repulsive #sorry to all my english teachers i have failed you all

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actualbird · 2 years

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Hi Zak! I really love your writing style and interpretation of the ToT characters. You show so much depth and understanding and reading your work is always a treat. My question is, how do you find the motivation to write so often and develop all your ideas? All I have is a backlog of Dramatic scenes in my ideas doc and I can't figure out how to add enough plot to even make them into oneshots.

hello, anon ヾ(＾∇＾)

thank you so much for your kind words!!! im glad my fics are enjoyable :D

as for your question......hm, i think i have a lot of things that motivate me to write a bunch at the speed i do, so heres all of the motivators i can think of

a big emotional one is that....i feel palpable physical anxiety when i havent Created A Thing in a While, HAHA. and my brain's definition of "a while" is anywhere from a week to one day KJBKJS. i feel happiest and most like myself when creating and having created. this emotional motivator is v important to me bc it helps me relieve negative emotions and experience positive ones.

my brain never shuts off!! ever!!! it's throwing new ideas at me 24/7 and leaving the ideas in my brain where nobody will ever get to see it......thats Agony For Me. i write so much because i wanna be like EVERYBODY, LOOK, LOOK AT THIS CONCEPT!! DONT LEAVE ME ALONE TO THINK ABOUT THIS, THINK ABOUT IT WITH ME!!!

people tell me that my writing makes them happy or makes them laugh or gives them some kind of benefit. this is hugely rewarding for me and pushes me to make more because i want to continue to make things that people can benefit from

i write my stuff because......nobody else will. like, the stuff i enjoy is somewhat niche. i wanna see smut but it's a comedy at the same time. or i wanna see the nxx team being stupid but also being a loving found family. i wanna see nxx polycule dealing with a voyeuristic pet bird. the stuff i want....NOBODY ELSE IS GONNA WRITE IT, theyre all way too specific, so i have to be the one to write it!!!

I Just Love Writing. ive been writing fiction for more than a decade now (exactly a decade, if ur going by my ao3 fics) and it's something i'll continue doing for the rest of my life. sorry to sound cheesy, but it's deadass my passion. it's what i chose to study and major in college, it's what i do at my current job, and it's what i do in my free time. i love writing, so i do as much of it as i can.

so theres a bunch of motivators that keep me trucking on like crazy!!!!

but theres a second question here, right? i think? or am i misreading? you also ask kinda how to develop ideas/plot, yeah? because huge mood at "backlog of Dramatic scenes" tbh thats how most of my fics start in my brain HAHA.

so heres how i personally develop ideas

the dramatic scene/s (or just whatever "seed" of a fic, be it a badass line or a stupid joke in dialog) in the head? i write that down immediately. no matter what is going on, i grab my phone and scribble that thing down on a notepad. i have woken up at 2am just to blindly wordbarf an idea into my diary discord, lemme get u an example actually, heres the message:

and this single message resulted in the fic "The NXX Investigation Team In Their Natural Habitat, Unhinged: A Documentary by DAVIS"

so like no matter how un-fleshed out the idea is, get it down!!! make the backlog in ur head a backlog somewhere outside of ur head so that it doesnt disappear bc a lot of the time, those ideas need to like.....simmer. i often need to put an idea down and let it rest for a while for me to understand the concept more and then start building around it. case in point: that message was sent on November 16. the first chapter of nxx docu fic was posted November 19......okay that wasnt a great example, it only simmered for 3 days BUT MY POINT STANDS

onto the plot!!!

i personally add plot by going through at LEAST TWO STAGES OF OUTLININING. this is gonna make me sound insane, but bear with me.

OUTLINE ONE: WORDBARF

this is the barebones shit. like tbh, all i put in this outline is as simple as premise, conflict, resolution. THATS IT. example of outline one of "how Puppy Pierce© conquered the world":

barest bones in the world but theyre still bones aka, theyre whats needed for a story. there is a premise, conflict, and resolution. fiction comes in all kinds of forms, but these three are the easiest and most noticeable building blocks. keeping these blocks in mind always helps me get from concept to story.

i move on now to

OUTLINE TWO: embellish the wordbarf

this is where i go insane because based on outline one, i expand as much as frigging possible. the outline one for puppierce is as short as u see above and my outline two based on it is 864 words long. this is where i get detailed and lay down scenes, sometimes i lay down the exact dialog as well. heres an excerpt of outline two from the same fic above:

BONUS: a list of things to Keep In Mind.

this is something i only do with fics that delve deep into emotions and themes but it's very very helpful for me because it allows me to have like...a guide to look towards whenever i feel blocked or stumped, it realigns my trajectory to where i want it to go. i do this in the beginning before outline one and two. heres an example from the fic "it's only ever a seed planted from outside in":

and once all that is done, tadaa!! everything is built!! and then i do the Actual Writing bit JBJKFGS

i hope this is helpful somehow? a lot of my writer friends have told me that both my motivators and my writing process is fucking insane but sdjkbkgjsd insane is what works for me. i hope you find what works for you :')

again, thank you for lovely ask!! if ever u have questions on like, writing process or story development, dont hesitate to hmu!!! my degree in creative writing has to be useful for something HAHA.

hope u have a nice day!!

#asks #anon #so like once i post a fic on ao3 uh. know that it's essentially been written twice. thanks to my outlines. KJBSKJDF #LONG POST

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kurtanaaa · 3 years

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i am back to ask another gaga related glee question ☺️☝️

you get to give each member of the OG new directions (+ blaine & sam) a gaga solo, what are they singing?

everyone sit down shut the fuck up and listen to me i have important things to SAY thank you ANA

my only problem is i cant assign people just one so i will be listing other contenders if i have them

quinn: sinner's prayer. "and she wants nothing more than a man to please/maybe she's in too deep/her love for him ain't cheap/but it breaks/just like a knockoff piece from fulton street" tell me thats not quinn. tell me thats not quinn and ill tell you youre wrong. and the title alone... perfect for her religious trauma. ALSO it fits her alto voice!!!!! can you tell i had this one on standby for if i was ever asked something like this.

mercedes: you and i. now this is a song i mostly chose because i would absolutely love to hear it in her voice. she would fucking kill it and would sing it with so much emotion i can SEE it. also (pushing my samcedes agenda), its vaguely country vibe means it would be a great song to sing to/about sam's lil country ass. the shows version... did they really HAVE to mash it up with that other song. Did They. i was also seriously considering paper gangsta for her bc that would fit her s4 storyline SO WELL but i just wanna hear her Sing this one more. other contenders: paper gangsta and the fame

only now realizing how long this is, its going under a cut

kurt: hair. i cant avoid it man. this is just his fuckin song! this is it! i know the whole "hair" metaphor doesnt really work with short hair, but its about the MESSAGE! ITS ABOUT THE EMOTION! he just wants to be himself and he wants you to love him for who he is! other contenders: boys boys boys and donatella (i have to say i rlly did something here with the other contenders)

santana: marry the night. everything about this song is for her. god i wish we got the "santana exploring the lgbtq scene in new york" storyline we deserved because this would fit it perfectly. shes gonna drive down the streets dressed insane and be gay as fuck! and she's gonna be alive to see it! no other contenders bc this song is just Hers. sorry bout it! and my fucking god her voice would sound INCREDIBLE doing the "NIIIIIIIIIGHT" AT THE END

sam: alejandro. now we all love Our Local Slut Sam. this is his Single and Free vibing song, which he should've gotten maybe! at some point! just a lil moment to Vibe and be sexy. i think this would be SO FUN!!!! he needs to wear a weird outfit and weird makeup. basically i need sam to be more campy

tina: dance in the dark. god this song fucks. i dont wanna ramble on too much to explain exactly how much it connects to tina (because it connects SO MUCH. SO MUCH) but. its about the breaking free of expectations and the self-consciousness. it is! AND about being a woman and having to deal with those things specifically!!!!! also her voice is so sweet and suited to this song's range. other contenders: schieße

rachel: million reasons. i think that this song connects to her and finn and a lot of their relationship. plus, this song isn't really pop, which suits rachel's voice more. thats it really. other contenders: joanne (also about finn, but specifically his death.)

puck: dope. you know that post about changing hey there delilah to be about a man separated from his daughter? yeah do that with this one and make it about beth. do it i promise it doesn't hurt at all :)

artie: just dance. this is a song i think he himself would choose bc it is right in his pop wheelhouse. he would have fun with it i think! and no escaping, he has to sing both colby o'donis AND gaga's parts. he is not exempt from gaga. other contenders: mary jane holland and starstruck

blaine: fashion of his love. this just makes sense okay! it just does. "i'm gonna be his first and last kiss" ok miss thing!!!! you go kiss your man!!!!! other contenders: so happy i could die

mike: artpop. im gonna be real, i mostly chose this because i think he could dance to it in his Own Style. i dont think theres much of an explanation otherwise? HOWEVER. if it werent such a Kurt Song i would def also propose hair for mike. it would fit his storylines quite nicely! so, other contenders: hair and teeth (that makes it sound like its one song title They Are Separate)

finn: brown eyes. this ones about rachel. it tracks it checks out it adds up it makes sense. "everything could be everything if only we were older/guess its just a silly song about you/and how i lost you/and your brown eyes". and in the context of finns death it hurts more ! :) other contenders: 911

brittany: highway unicorn (road to love). now i'm not just saying this because of the unicorn. i AM saying this because it just feels very brittany in terms of vibes as well as it being something she can sing about santana (she don't care if your papers or your love is a law/she's a free soul burning roads with a flag in her bra). also i think she can dance to it somewhat which is important

BONUS

marley: judas or john wayne

jake: bad kids

unique: babylon

kitty: grigio girls

bc i couldnt stop thinking about these while making this post

#THANK YOU SO MUCH AGAIN FOR THIS ASK ANA IM SORRY IT GOT SO LONG AAAHHHHHHHAAGHAGH #anyway i have so many other ideas for gaga songs that would be duets/group numbers/etc.#like bloody mary shouldve been a kurtana duet. i need it like i need air #and grigio girls rlly could be sung by ALL the ND girls #IM SO SORRY THIS IS SO LONG I JUST LOVE IT WHEN MY INTERESTS INTERSECT #i listened to the entire joanne album for the first time for this and uh. bro. im so sorry i neglected her #joanne i love you and your bluesy-rock gospel-ish style can you ever forgive me #ana 🍎#rae talks #glee #lady gaga #glee headcanons #long post #rae's headcanons #new directions

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bookofmariokingofmaiami · 3 years

Text

This is the second time making this post because i am angry as fuck because for some reason when I added the names it didn't save so I'm doing this shit again

Hey! I had a stupendus idea, the past few days I've gathered a bunch of mitten squad quotes and captain sauce quotes

Soooo, I'll put wich book of mario characters would say each quote and we'll see what happens

Yes I know 99% of the mitten squad quotes is gonna be bolivia and carbon

Also, some quotes reference characters and locations, so I'll put an [ ] with what I think the book of mario counterpart would be

MITTEN SQUAD SEGMENT

Lewis:"I have successfully turned an ordinary kitchen utensil into the most valuable fork in the known universe, no one man should have this kind of power, but I am not mortal man, as a sexualy identity as a big rock being thrown into the ocean"

Princess of peaches, talking about 1 TEC-20"The robot wasn't able to pick the lock and I lacked the fire power to blow the bitch open"

Marc:"I left a broom there too so my bucket wouldn't be lonely"

Carbon:"Calm down vegetarians I am talking about animals in video games, animals in real life matter way less"

Barney one:"Killing it isn't the hard part, the hard part is getting away from the explosion of the goddamm Nagasaki bomb strapped up its ass that was rigged to explode once it died"

Bolivia:"Todd Howard [barbie], even in death you find a way to fuck me"

Bolivia:"We came back to the little shit with the ant problem and killed most of the ants, I left one alive for the boy, either he becomes a man or that ant will have a very good day"

Goomb:"Me brain fixed gud no hurt no more"

Marc:"Picked up trash for the make a wish kid"

Bolivia, talking about maria:"Because she hits like a bull with down syndrome and has the personality of a piece of plywood"

Belize:"You might be wondering, who is the boy and who is the girl? I won't give it away but I will say this, the knife is a whore"

Maria:"I had armor, i had supplies, i had pockets full of room temperature tomatos"

Bolivia:"For some reason I thought that stupid the horse v2 could fly, bad decision on my part"

Carbon:"For some reason this shrapnel character had 200 BB's, what a weirdo, who caries around 200 BB's?, anyway, I talked to daddy and brought my 300 BB's and headed off to clear off the Jefferson memorial"

Goverman::"Get a juice box and strap on your helmet, because we're going to hell"

Carbon:"I punched a puppy to death"

Marc:"My iq is similar to that of a 14 year old block of cheese"

Lewis:"Theres an oxygen exhaust pipe, the second best tipe of pipe to suck on to keep yourself alive, for those who need hand holding, that was not a drug reference, this is a family friendly channel, it was a suicide joke"

Bolivia:"I got an amazing slow motion shot of dogmeat getting fucked to death by a nuclear warhead"

Maria:"My only option was to become a vampire, wich sucked"

Bolivia:"But just as when like how every virtual dog goes to hell when it dies, what the fuck does that even mean?"

Carbon:"I took advantage of a unconscious military officer and beat him to death"

Barney one:"Nothing else says more victory than overdosing on drugs after a war"

Prof. Ceasar reality:"And decided to go to the much bigger and much more research facility x-13 research facility facility center, WHAT? I think I had a stroke"

Bolivia:"Used more than 3% of my frag mines to blow up a dog"

Carbon:"The last few coursers ran for their non existence lives and I went after them because I'm not letting anyone get away, one got away"

Maria:"I got a warning saying that nuka world is intended for those level 30 or above, Mathematics show us that me being lv11 is close enough to lv30"

Carbon:"Killed a pain-maker and got a glimpse into the big G in the sky who manifested himself as a fire axe floating in the air, this voodoo shit has no place in zion so I chopped of the pain-maker's legs and arms so If there is an afterlife he will be a cripple in hell for all eternity"

Goverman:"Its head turned into jelly, I threw its egg down into the nightmare bellow, and then I jumped after it"

Carbon:"A herd of big hornets paid the ultimate price for being alive"

Goverman:"Used his gun to turn off a woman"

Maria:"Me being the player can't open the door, theres a know you have to twist it its a whole process"

Goverman explained why maria survived the fall:"One of them belonged to God and refused to die"

Goombell, talking about hoko saba:"The dragon I pretended to not exist a few minutes ago is one of my mom's friend's kids so I had to play with him even tho he's weird"

Belize:"There was no hamster's luck in a garbage disposal chance that I would follow this giant fuck all the way to the cit ruins"

Lewis:"Along the way i saved a shopping cart from drowning and returned it to its family"

Prof. Ceasar reality:"Its about 24 million cheez its away from New vegas"

Bolivia:"Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to bedworld"

Carbon:"With enough notches in my pistol to spell psychopath in braille"

Gooverman:"I spie with my little eye a ville whore who deserves to die, I cleaved her back in half with my stick and what I saw was glorious"

Maria?:"Its kinda like playing the floor is lava, but you can't see the lava and instead of burning to death you turn into a vegetable"

IDK"I hid from Ringo by hiding in ringo"

Bolivia:"The plate worked as well I thought it would, wich means it didn't work"

Bolivia:"There was a 3 for 1 discount on dead raiders if you use the promo code granade at checkout"

Belize:"The only explanation is that has a 5th appendage wich he pulls out on special occasions, wich probably isn't the case, we all know elmo doesn't pull out"

Goomb:"You don't need those things, Jesus got trough his life without any guns"

Goombape:"When i played it as a children"

Barbie:"Its like how you don't know if your life has any meaning until you die and see your score"

Belize:"This was the most stealth oriented part of the game by a metric mile"

Bolivia:"I stripped him naked, talked with Elliot [lewis] whose face bothered me for some reason,Talked with the samurai[maria], talked with red dead redemption [barney one]"

Carbon:"Some idiot spilled red paint on the clouds"

Bolivia:"Before traveling with the wizard, I spent some time pestering earnie with the prospect of friendship, by walking back and forth in front of him, making him think i wanted to talk to him just for me to keep on walking,I was voted the quietest guy I high-school and I know how loud earnie is screaming inside his head right now, it's kinda fun to be in this side of it :) ,also this isn't related to the video in any way, I just wanted to make it known that i have a sealed copy of elmos letter adventure for Nintendo 64 and you don't"

Maria:"I knew I could use that as a lighthouse of sorts in order to cast myself further into the ocean until i drowned in my own disappointment"

Goombell:"Vulpes[carbon] was adopted, his mother is both infertile and imaginary"

Belize:"Being alone is mental, you can be surrounded by friends family laughs and love on Christmas morning and still be alone in your head"

Bolivia:"I acted in self defense by committing various war crimes"

Carbon:"My throwing spears were broken and wouldn't fly,stupid fucking game"

Bolivia:"That wasn't a lie, it just wasn't the truth"

Maria:"If there's anything Shaun b knows to do is die"

Boombell:"The number of bear traps I activated for sexual reasons turned my angles into a fine powder"

Goverman:"Where the grass is green and the air is even greener"

IDK"I consulted a doctor who flucked out of medical school and followed his advice by killing myself"

Belize:"Being a futuristic[X-nauti], nazi dominated world version of polly poc,etc it has its own set of drawbacks"

Marc:"They're mass effect 3 of fallout 3's 5th dlc, I've never played mass effect"

Lewis:"Who loves their father like how their brother loves his mother's sister"

Carbon:"Like most existential crises it went away after I killed somebody"

Carbon:"If you're wraped in chains and dropped into an empty bathtub to drown, a snorklew won't save you"

Goombape:""A wise man once said "hi! Jeanie may's here" and he's right, there has to be a better way""

Browser:"After it took 3 grown man to kidnap a baby with a gun"

goldbob:"The lever action gun riffle can kill a mutant in a single shot if you land a shot that can kill it in one hit"

Maria:"Its 2020, Noone wants to use their hands anymore"

Bolivia:"Before journeying into more death, some jackass hit me with a granade and killed me, not the explosion, the granade bouncing off my soon to be corpse is was what made me dead"

Belize:"Some Neanderthals gave me their bullets to hold in a pretty rude way >:("

Princess of peaches:"Im not worried about offending blind people, it's not like they'll be watching this"

Carbon:"30 seconds is longer than you'd think, ask anyone whose been on fire"

Lewis:"I was as useful as a comatose toddler with a nerf gun at pearl harbor"

Goomb:"I also poused the challenge to satisfy the curiosity of mine regarding the birds in the sky that Don real because birds aren't exist"

Marc:"Any doctor worth their weight in styrofoam cups can fix a leg with their feet"

Bolivia:"I had me a silenced weapon, but I didn't account for today being his birthday, this changes everything, so I shaped for hollow point"

Carbon:"Maybe if Steve earlin had a gun instead of a snorklew he'd still be alive today"

Marc:"It took me 30 minutes and 3 phone calls to get my food because I'm too much of a pussy to go outside at 10 o'clock at night while drunk in a Christmas sweater after news year to steal my own food of one my neighbors doorstep"

Maria:"We've got rogue, tank dampse, and squidword"

Lewis;"And they're no joke, but I am, I am the big joke and my body is the punchline"

Bolivia:"I got mentally Nagasaki'd by this guy at the stables"

IDK"And went outside where Victor is unhappy with me, after killing Victor, Victor came out of the lucky 38 to avenge victor"

Bolivia:" i shot a kid, i sent that little bitch to the moon"

Sushiya, testing her products:"The door was of its axis, a plate was misbehaving on the chair, a cattle was dancing on the table like the whore she is"

Carbon:"And went shopping for dead bodies, they weren't in stock, but i know a guy who knows a guy who could help me out, both of those guys are me"

Bolivia:"Now vault yosh is I your head too, and he won't be going anywhere"

Maria's son:"As much of a monster that I look like, I think it's gonna work"

Sushiya:"But you know what they say, imagination is what happens when annoyance meets drug use"

Carbon:"If they're stupid enough to be in my way they might as well be my enemy"

Goverman:"But the slippery bastard was too clever, he walked around it, I didn't even know that such a maneuver was even possible"

IDK"Homeland security at this point has yet to be impregnated by a sentient barrel of oil"

Bolivia:" if I drunkenly put a giant hole on my sink with a goddam coffee cup imagine what I could do with a gun"

Belize:"Got ambushed in the freezer while searching for chicken nuggets"

Goverman:"But the fucken bullet Williams come flying out of fucking nowhere"

Maria:"The next second you're in a universe where everything that exists is the sick bastard child of a drunken fuckfest between a pin screen and a light brush"

Bolivia:"Ask the cashier if they have a granade, if they say no, say nothing for a few seconds, put a big smile, put your hands on theirs and quietly ask, would you like one?"

Sean hampton:"Can't do anything until I have my arms around a fat man"

Barbie:"The premise of this run is that I have no arms and I must dab"

Maria's son:"I told you before that I was a genetic disaster"

Bolivia:"And in that cabin, theres some west Virginian mountain folk who are so deep in incest that one of them somehow managed to be his own father"

Bolivia:"Can you hear that? It's…. It's an air conditioner! And it's so fucking anoying, aw no I hurt it's feelings :( "

Goverman:"He could probably put the end of his musket inside his mouth, pull the trigger and still miss"

Barney one:"The big beaver ended his life in stile, he even made a summersault into the afterlife"

Goverman:"Im a good Christian boy, I'll save my ammo for my suicide"

Carbon:"I am not Cinderella, I'm a parasite"

IDK"I played with a doggy too, it used the flesh on my arm as a chew toy, and I booked his nose with a nuclear newspaper to show that that kind of thing isn't allowed in the mitten squad household"

Sean hampton:"The crusable is a magical weapon like divorce papers, capable of tearing everything it comes across in half"

Barbie:"The curse of grandma sparkle managed to reach me all the way in hell"

Barney one:"If you are gonna get a cat, you might get a gun aswell"

Belize:"Corn on the Joe sat back not helping his brother's"

Carbon:"I bought 24 regular bullets,28 hollow points, and 60 that need to wear a helmet"

Bolivia:"After the squad died I had to content with the leftovers, the scraps, statically speaking the majority of what remained"

Lewis:"What I need to face is like a toddler with a learning disability, that would be fair"

Carbon:"I took both left eyes of this dead guy "

Carbon:"It took longer to pull out the Esther than it took of kill the general"

Sushiya, while high:"Deeper inside shit got weird, i killed a giant skeleton right? Nothing weird about that, but then his body just kinda danced in place really slowly, I tought speeding up time would fix it, that was a massive fucking mistake, and changing time back to normal was an even bigger mistake, he'll be hunting me until I die, but until then he'll still be dancing"

CAPTAINSAUCE SEGMENT

Carbon:"They're old, how hard can it be to turn them into blueberry jam and ram them into the grass"

Belize:"I guess if you do electrocute a tank enough it would just explode"

Boliviz:"Id have a better chance of finding a snowball down here than winning a coin toss"

Marc:"How does my Christmas lights break to a stiff breeze but these ones are practically terminators"

Barney one:"I never tought id see the day where I would have to hire a sniper to assassinate a troublesome light bulb but here we are "

Lewis:"I get the feeling if you try to milk a minotaur then you're gonna be its wife"

Sushiya:"In the history of mankind do you think we've ever seen a snake fight an octopus?"

Goverman:"Lets see if you can wobble your way trough the grim reaper" [the grim being carbon]

Goldbob:"Its a steaming pile of something ill tell you that much"

Goverman:"He died? How! Did he have an allergic reaction to the sun?"

Goomb:"Michelangelo is Swiss cheese and where good to go"

Bolivia:"It really looks like I'm taking a sharpened stick to a bazooka fight"

Maria:"HOW DID I GO FROM FIGHTING AN OCTOPUS IN A SUIT TO WW3???"

Princess of peaches, talking about 1TEC-20:"Im playing pictionary with a blind robot"

maria:"Theres on the nose dialogue and then there's punch you in the nose dialogue"

Bolivia, talking about barney one:"This lady looks like her father was half refrigerator"

IDK"Im supposed to sabotage the mail missile assembly line but it looks like someone got here before me"

Belize?:"And the ghosts of previously murdered pianos???"

Maria:"Im getting outsmarted by puppets"

Bolivia:"After careful deliberation with my associate we've come to the conclusion that the local government must have Removed all quarters from circulation, the laundromat went under and before you know it the entire society fell into nudism and then anarchy "

Carbon?:"This is like the hunger games of sesame street"

IDK"Im a weird shotgun santa"

Garlic?:"Oh damm! CTHULO IS THICC"

Krump:"What kind of interdimensional time traveling toilet is this?"

Carbon:"Wheater it be cultural appropriation or demonic abomination, i don't realy care im just gonna try to hit it with a pee bucket"

Carbon:"THIS IS THE MEDIEVAL RUSSIAN VERSION OF DRIVING INTO BATTLE WITH A TANK BUT SHOOT PEOPLE WITH A BB GUN"

Belize::"I DIDN'T KNOW GRANNY WAS TAKING GRAVEDIGGER TO CHURCH THIS MORNING"

Goombell:"This isn't a bridge its just the worlds weakest motorcycle trebuchet "

Bolivia:"Oh hellow mr berry"

Carbon:"Giant alien space worm 2020, make America worm poop again"

Bolivia:"When did snuffy[barney one] decide to judas me and join the hobbits?[origamis]"

Lewis:"Theres a surprisingly high amount of chickens in this map and a dramatic lack of eggs"

Bolivia:"Im pretty sure we've sent the first claim to the moon"

Maria:"And yet I'm forced to defend myself from stuff like bloodthirsty scp's using nothing but uncooked t-bone stake, I mean technically its doable but it doesn't make It any less ridiculous"

Barbie:"What's the point of a metal detector if literally everyone here has somekind of cybernetic, like I swear to God If I walk trough here aND you guys start pounding the shit out of me just because I got a couple of extra inches of robo-dong IM GONNA BE PISSED"

Bolivia:"Everyone's wearing slick black suits meanwhile I look like somebody skinned a couch from the 70s"

Sushiya:"Is this bacon flavored weed or weed flavored bacon?"

Sean hampton:"Do you think that Darth Vader ever had to deal with a rebel or a henchmen who was into getting chocked? Like starts force checking them and they tell him to go harder?"

Koopley:"I was stabbed to death by a naked man with a spear and my arm is perpetually running"

Koop kotu:"So I'm crazy enough to be locked behind bars but not crazy enough to think I can fly*

Bolivia:"Usually spooders have 8 arms not 8 abs"

Carbon:"I just bludgeoned Jesus to death with a stick of meat, I'm guessing he's gonna be back in a couple of days he's gonna be looking for me so we'll start running now"

Carbon:"Im done with words, shooty goody time"

Maria?:"Id have a better time cutting down bushes then these strange little robo hobits"

Belize:"Dad this is not the time to be dancing with crabs!"

Maria:"Thats my little brother, who has a fully posable deny devito action figure,I've always been jealous of that one"

Bolivia:"The turns are tabbleling"

Maria, talking about barbie:"She's not exactly the brightest tool at the picnic"

Belize:"Are you kidding me mom? Realy?, you were the one that said you're sick of seeing donkey kongs donkey dong"

Maria:"I have no idea what was in that Wonster energy drink that made him go master roshe style"

Bolivia:"I want to file a complaint against Stacy [belize] for T-posing to assert Dominance over me"

Marc:"Believe it or not dangling a padlock the size of a shoebox from a doorknob does as much work as I want to"

Caesar reality:"You can never have too many rotten floor bananas"

Carbon:"Poisoning your boss is probably not the best way to skip work, but ya boy gotta do what he has to do"

Goverman:"I'll take nicknames of my penis for 300$ alex"

Starvinden?:"I guess we'll just leave you in your special sarcophagus mr tutan-deez-nuts"[browser]

Lewis:"I've been skipping work for 2 weeks now and I'm starting to think that my computer isn't even plugged in"

Bolivia, talking to maria:"Your suit smells like a wet fart and your mouth smells like a ashtray"

Bolivia:"If anyone needs me I'll be on the insane asylum, why am I caressing a mannequin on top of a boat?"

Carbon:"Would you like to hang yourself or be crucified? Dealers choice!"

Bolivia talking about carbon:"He's doing something ingenious probably diabolical……..or he's dressed as a panda"

Marc:"We should really pay for security around here not only are people breaking in there is also a giant spine breaking chickens"

Maria to Bolivia:"You are very angry at that stake"

Sushiya, after using its products:"I wonder why was I twerking at the office statue"

IDK"WHY IS THERE A GIANT NAKED MAN IN THE LOCKER CHOCKING ME TO DEATH WITH A CHAIN??!!!"

goombell:"I guess we're gonna leave the cookie monster dildo in the locker"

Sean hampton, to Maria:"My love for you is like diarrhea, sometimes I just can't hold it in"

Bolivia:"You're watching me In a Google video platform playing a game from a Google gaming platform that was translated using Google translate, if this isn't a dystopian future I don't know what is"

Bolivia?:"I couldn't have predicted the run after her like a velociraptor made out of pool noodles"

Lewis:"Jumping Jack neighbor help me!"

Bolivia:"Bread! There's no bread,there's your bread! That's a cookie God dammit"

Belize:"So I can be invited to the worlds saddest birthday party"

Maria:"I guess we're playing ring around the Rosie till I lose his dumb ass"

Carbon:"If you see jehovah's witness you tell them to eat shit"

Bolivia:"HOW CAN YOU AFFORD A GUARD BIRD AND NOT A DOOR STOP?"

Bolivia::"For my shopping list I need to find a floppy disk with a s, but for the distraction I could use a floppy dick with sunglasses and a tie"

Carbon:"I really hoped that your little bird bath had a couple inches of water so I could steal a tiny toaster to throw it in with you"

Belize::"Its pretty safe to say Mr voice bad Benjamin good, but we just saw Benjamin talk with the grim reaper and pull around a cart wich is about the size of a child's body"

Goombell:"She may have a crush on the interdimensional death fox"

Maria:"Its like the herpes of craft supplies"

Barney one:"Everyone wants to split checks for keano Reaves, even if they're a 10ft dragon made out of logos and seizures what is going on right now?"

Sushiya, high, again:"When I dilapidated the banana and poked the mayo's brain then had an indept conversation with the strawberry cocoon did bread get arrested? I didn't see the police come by, that would make sense because the alcoholic cat ran away"

Carbon:"IF THEY HAVE AN ASS TO PULL PUNS OUT OF THEY HAVE TO HAVE A BRAIN TO THINK THEM UP"

Goombell:"I think I graduated for the university of food torture"

Well, this is all, took some time but it's here, hope you enjoyed

Frequent reblogers

<《{[(@boom-fanfic-a-latta )]}》>

<《{[( @gumdorp )]}》>

PLEASE REBLOG!

#funny #mario #paper mario #book of mario #bolivia #mary #barbie the bob omb #1000 infernal air sleeves #quotes #captainsauce #mitten squad #paul #goomb #goverman #goombell #carbon

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wistfulkitten · 4 years

Text

i dream you'd love me again (2) || jk

sadness, guilt, regret. all things jeongguk felt after reading her letter.

genre: angst and fluff? childhood friends, cheating, sisters boyfriend au

pairing: jeongguk x reader

word count: 2.3k

posted: 200518

warnings: longing, infidelity, profanity (kinda), mentions of sex, probably inconsistent punctuation

a/n: theres probably gonna be minor grammar issues because grammarly is shit and im tired. n e way i tried making this longer, it took me like four hours believe it or not. funni how i can make time for writing but not for my hw. silly me. i tried explained why he did what he did and im sorry if it was crappy. thank u to yall who read the first one. if you guys have any requests or ideas feel free to send me something in my inbox or message me. tyty:))

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sadness. sadness is what jeongguk felt at the end of ___’s letter. sad that he hurt her enough to the point that she thought of herself as anything but perfect. sad that she doubted his feelings for her. sad that despite everything he put her through, she still loved him and still wished him the best. he always knew she had a big heart. it's one of the many reasons he was drawn to her in the beginning, but it was also one of her biggest weaknesses. her heart was too big for her own good and it scared him. ___ was always too quick to forgive and forget and most of the time it came back to bite her in the ass.

he saw it time after time when her dad had left. he had had an affair and left his wife and two kids for a younger woman and yet she never got mad or ever blamed her father in contrary to yoona. while yoona never gave her father the time of day after the separation, ___ always made sure to set time aside for him even when he never put in enough effort to interacting with his daughters. he was a pretty crappy father, content with his new life. and though it made her sad that her family was no longer whole and her mother was practically always crying herself to sleep, it made her happy that her dad was happy. she was just about twelve then and still, she never gave into childish grudges. thirteen year old jeongguk found her slightly stupid for this trait but as they grew up, he found it quite endearing.

guilt. after the sadness had settled in, a great wave of guilt washed over his being. while he was here, newly married with a whole life ahead of him, you were somewhere out there living the life you always wanted sad and lonely. too heartbroken to even enjoy it properly. he didn't deserve it, the comfort and security his new marriage gave him, he didn't deserve it.

jeongguk was merely seventeen when he fell in love with a sixteen year old ___ all the while he dated yoona, her older sister. he’d known them practically his whole life and it was such a small town that it was simply impossible for you not to know anyone and everyone. everyone went to the same schools and hardly anyone moved out of the godforsaken town. he and yoona started dating in the sixth grade. much too young to be dating but their families were long time friends and saw it appropriate for the two to start early. so that one day the two families would unite. jeongguk hadn’t minded at first. he was eleven at the time but yoona had always been a good friend. they played together all the time so nothing really changed except for the frequent hugs and occasional kiss on the cheek.

as they grew older they graduated into more mature ways of affection but it never bothered him too much. though he was friends with yoona, he was always closer to ___. sure at first, he had trouble expressing but afterward never once did they ever feel reserved towards one another, only ever honest with every bit of their being. while yoona was more reserved and occasionally bratty, ___ was outspoken and adventurous. always willing to try something new even if it wasn't exactly encouraged. she never shied away from speaking her mind and that was something jeongguk always aspired to be. she was everything he wasn’t. she expressed herself in every possible way. hair color was constantly changing since the start of high school. she pulled off any type of style you could think of. you could pick her out of any crowd in an instant. she painted, wrote poems and songs, sang, played various instruments, even took up photography. she turned any type of art form into a way for people to understand her, every single part of her. she was good at so many things and jeongukk, jeongukk was good at one thing. basketball. yet she never made him feel bad about it, instead she went to every game. cheering him on. she was mesmerizing in every single way.

while they had their good moments, yoona had a knack of patronizing him for every fault and imperfection. when they started high school she had tried so hard to be looked at as the perfect couple. she made it a point to show that they ‘never fought’ and were always ‘happy’. he never spent too much time with his friends because ‘every boyfriend had to put his girlfriend first’. this is the exact reason jimin never liked her and why jin always referred to her as a pain in the ass. it was safe to say his friends weren't exactly fond of her either. she was so different from ___ which was good or bad, depending on who you were asking.

yoona was pretty, though jeongguk would say ___ was prettier. soft features, soft personality, light colors were a constant, skirt never too short, hair never too long. she was a straight line kind of girl like the majority of girls in town. grades never faltering. she always believed in the whole study hard, get a good job, have kids plan everyone stuck to and it was always so suffocating.

he wanted more out of life, he wanted to explore places, explore himself. he wanted to get to know himself in more ways than one because he had yet to know all of it. all of him. but by the time he was sixteen, jeongguk already had a career to work towards and a girl everyone was so sure would be his wife. it was like his life was a book and everyone but him was the author. he had no control and he started to dread the future. he was running and he knew what would be at the finish line, so he slowed down. while yoona was running full speed, he was jogging at most. he started faking a persona in front of his family and yoona because they simply didn’t get it and they never would.

when he couldn’t exactly talk to his own girlfriend about his feelings and problems ___ was always there to listen. she was good at that. listening. she never judged, instead always reassuring him that when the time came he’ll know what to do. she had an easygoing way of living and he longed to live like that too. though her mother didn't agree and favored yoona more, she simply took it as it was and cherished what she had for the time being. her love for her mother and sister never faltered even if their love never measured up. ___ had a way of looking at the world that could get her far, far away from here and jeongguk envied that. she said all his feelings were valid and no one should be mad at him for simply feeling. once he had slowed down enough for the once blurry images to become clear, he’d realized that running with yoona was far too tiring and that walking with ___ was far more fulfilling.

jeongguk was merely seventeen when he fell in love with a sixteen year old ___ and it was the most exhilarating feeling ever. it had started out as just a friend being there for a friend, but one day it turned into something more. they had been out on one for their many infamous nightly drives when they had stopped at a cliff, a pretty view of their small town in sight. pretty lights below and above. the stars were out that night just like them, watching the rest of the world sleep. she’d looked into his eyes, simultaneously looking into his soul. with anyone else, he would’ve felt naked and exposed but with her, he wanted her to see everything and to understand everything. he realized he only ever wanted one person to do that and he wanted to express it in the best way possible. he kissed her. really kissed her and she didn't shy away. he knew it was wrong, they both did, but it felt so good. so good that it felt right. right there, in the back of jeongguk’s first car, clothes disappeared one by one and they wrote love poems into the bareness of their skin. so passionate, so raw that it was impossible to stop afterward. they did it again and again behind closed doors, behind the curtain they drew in the depths of night. it was nothing they ever felt before. when they weren’t tangled within each other they explored as much as the city would let them. talking about anything and everything. no boundaries.

___ planned on leaving once she graduated, didn’t know where to but the farther the better. she hated it here and so did he. it made jeongguk sick to even think about a life without her in it. he was selfish, he knows. he had them both and it was very clear which of them he loved more yet it saddened him that the one he favored more would ever leave him here. alone. that was until she asked him to come with. she asked him to run away with her. he swears if he wasn't deeply in love with her then, he was now. of course he said yes. running away and seeing the world with his favorite girl was a dream. a dream he truly wanted to become reality.

they planned it out. jeongguk and yoona graduated and while ___ finished her final year in high school and yoona stared college, jeongguk took a gap year waiting for ___. waiting for their dream while working jobs here and there, financially preparing. he also took a business internship so that his family would get off his back for working instead of college. it was full proof, even the boys knew. though they thought it was risky, they supported them both. they had grown fond of ___. they’d both work jobs to add onto their savings and the day after ___ graduated they’d leave and never come back. that was the plan, the dream. and yet they never made it.

regret. he regretted it so much. the faithful day came but jeongguk didn’t. she waited and waited but he couldn’t do it. he watched from afar, luggage in hand. watch her wait. watched her cry when she realized. he cried with her. he was just so damn scared. a coward is what he was. he was scared of the unknown, something he craved so much and yet he was scared of it. and that's exactly how he felt for ___ at that moment. he craved her so much, loved her so much, and yet he was scared of her. scared that her spontaneous ways would one day be the end of them. he thought of yoona, at least with yoona he knew what he was getting. knew exactly where they’d end up. he wanted certainty and that's why he watched her leave. but to his surprise, she didn't leave, not yet. she stayed and waited, waited long enough for everyone else to find out. she was then branded as a little slut that wanted a taste of the forbidden fruit, the one he didn't choose. it was far from the truth but its what everyone believed. and so she left far far away and he didn't chase after her. god did he regret it. every day since that day he’s felt nothing but regret. he was back to putting the mask on trying to appease everyone. surprisingly no one reprimanded him and for that he felt anger, anger he’d only felt towards himself.

___ was the love of his life so it hurt. it hurt to see that she didn’t think of herself like he did. he wasn't aware she felt that way. like she was in yoona’s shadow. to him, it had never been like that because she’d been the one he sought to look at first in every room. it hurt to see she thought so low of herself but you could say he wasn't any better. he was newly married and yet he was miserable. it had only been a few months since he and yoona got married and people were already asking when they were having a baby. straight out of college and things were moving so fast. he was nauseated and lived life in such a lethargic manner. he needed her.

she said she still loved him. maybe it wasn’t too late. maybe he could turn things around and fulfill the dream they never reached. so he picks up the phone and dialed the number he used to call every night. it was so familiar that he didn’t need to think twice about it.

it rang once, twice, and finally, on the third ring, she answered.

“gukk?”

he cried at the sound of her voice. he missed her so much. after a while, he could hear soft sniffling from the other line.

“can i come home?” he asked, voice so hoarse it hurt.

“you are home… aren’t you?” voice strained, sounding confused.

“no no, you’re my home ___. i need to come home. “

with that jeongguk couldn’t help but cry harder.

“shhh shhh gukk, it's ok. everything will be ok.” she cooed familiar words he hadn’t heard in a while. “ok, come home. come to me baby.”

he booked the first flight he could as soon as she said where she was and packed up as much as he could. he was gonna stop living this lie and start living for himself. something he should have done four years ago. and in a few hours, that’s exactly what he was gonna do. live the life he dreamed of with her, no holding back. he needed to stop being afraid. he was on his way, without a care in the world. jeongguk loved ___ and ___ loved him. that's all that mattered.

he’d send the divorce papers over tomorrow.

#jungkook angst #bts jungkook #jungkook x reader #jungkook #bts fanfic #bts angst #angst #jungkook au #jungkook fic #jeon jungkook #jungkook senarios #bts au #bts imagine #jungkook fluff #i dream you'd love me again #mine

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thecringefailintherye · 3 years

Text

Oliver! (1968) Live (re) watch!

i have already seen oliver!, but not in ages, so i decided to watch it again, enjoy

very long post warning

fuckin hell these opening credits are LONG

i love the fact instrumentals of songs in the movie are playing

i have chocolate popcorn, apple lucozade and oliver! on, life is good

yes i know mark lester is oliver ive seen this like 20 times can i watch the film now

OH ABOUT FUCKING TIME

god is love

IS IT WORTH THE WAITING FOR IF WE LIVE TILL 84 ALL WE EVER GET IS GRUELL

i forgot how much of a banger food glorious food is

LOOK AT BABY MARK LESTER 🥺🥺🥺

ads in middle of movie be like

its harry secombe!

AMENNNN

oliver gets bullied the movie

look at this poor kid

MOREE????????

oh yes oliver i love this song

O L I V E R

poor kid

without any bannister yikes

the one who named him........O-L-IV-ERRR

oh were outside now

olivers just been kicked out oh shit

but on the plus side he has a cute ass hat on

BOY FOR SAY AL

look at oliver 🥺 he deserves better

SOWERBERRY MORE LIKE SHITTERBERRY

theres a severe lack of thats your funeral and i shall scream

noah claypole more like noah clayprick

“perhaps... if i had a tall hat?” BABEY

HES GOT HIS TALL HAT ON YES OLIVER

oliver said dab on them haters from your old gaff youre a funeral advisor now and theyre still homeless

DONT INSULT HIS MUM FUCK YOU NOAH

YES OLIVER KILL HIM

yes stuff the nine year old in a coffin and sit on it well done

"OLIVAH ??" "Yes im here: ((("

ITS MEAT!

oliver deserves better man

im gonna cry and were like 25 minutes in.

ik its not mark singing but whoever it is CAN SING WTF

i want to give him a hug

OH SHIT HES RUNNING AWAY

hes in the lettuce

LONDON YOU MADE IT !

yes oliver trains exist

DODGER!!!

whach you starin at aint ya ever seen a toff

the beak

look at lil jack wild

me more hintimate friends

cockney accent™️

the artful dodga

CONSIDERR YOURSSELF AT HOEME COSNIDER YOURSWLF OEN OF THE FAMILY !!!!!!!!!!

im sorry i love this song

look this scene is awesome, but it would be COMPLETE with charley oh wait he was demoted to extra and everything interesting abt him was given to dodger

he should have gotten the nobody tries to be ladeeda or uppity bit I WILL DIE ON THIS HILL

this cast is BIG

okay i am a Charger Enthusiast but do we all agree there is something oddly homosexual about oliver and dodger in this song

note how dodger is scared of the police FORESHADOWING

ive taken to this SO STRONGITSCLEARWEREGOINGTOGETALONG

how many extras is this ???? yall better be gettin paid

its dodga comin up

this set is sraight out of the book i love it

CHARLEY MATE IM SORRY THEY MADE YOU AN EXTRA

“oh not again” does dodger just always show up with random workhouse kids

ah yes fagin the character whos still a negative jewish stereotype

more and more big cast

THESE SAUSAGES ARE MOULDY! (am i going to freak out whenever charley does anything because i love him? yes)

stfu drink your gin

is this a laundry?? no fam

THE BEST FUCKING SONG IN THIS MUSICAL

IN THIS LIFE ONE THING COUNTS

sorry if i dont add to this until pick a pocket or two is done bc its a straight banger

this song is EVERYTHING

hard at work lol ok

did he make those himself??? no

couple a wipes

EMBROIDERED THEM??? no

petition for all oliver twist adaptations to refer to charley as master bates like the book and for him to have actual lines and not have his actor switched at least three times

i dont even now who charley is at this point because his actor is switched many a time im just gonna say purple blazer kid is charley

anyway charley bates supremacy

whos bill sikes??? NO

fuck bill all my homies hate bill

rum tum tum is a banger

go bed now

take your hat off in bed dodger

movie fagin has rights

fagin leaving where will he go

BET IS THAT YOU

FUCK OFF BILL NO ONE LIKES YOU

NANCY NANCY HES HERE !!!!!! bet deserves everything and more ily 💖

NANCYYYY!!!!!!

its a fine life more like its a banger

wheres all of bets lines gone

bet 🤝 charley (being demoted to extras)

its not funny anyore bet.. bet girl please sing youre the best fucking thing about this song

such a happy song about domestic abuse

THERE SHE IS THATS MY GIRL BET I FUCKING LOVE YOU

bullsye rights!

i hate how this movie made fagin more symathetic but he’s still a “greedy jew” stereotype

oliver?????

at this moment fagin knew he fucked up

nancy you deserve better than bill

oh hi dodger forgot you existed

and the rest of you except oliver

ah yes charley “sausages” bates i missed you

THESE FUCKING KIDS THEY ALL LOVE BET AND NANCY MY HEART

im a regular gent i am. no dodger you arent

why is “permit me to assist you across the road” so fucking funny

pov dodgers back on his bullshit so you have to pretend to be a horse and cart for him

not “sir artful” 😭😭😭

anyfink for youu

WHAT FISTICUFFS???!!!

i feel sorry for the child extras man theyve prob had to film this scene like ten times

THESE KIDS CAN SING

the boys dancing with eachother is too fucking wholesome i love this

again, movie fagin rights

weed riissk lifee and limmbb

you promised we could go see the angin!!!!!

ats on boys time were off

THIS IS MY FAVOURITE SONG

HOW COULD WE LET HOW COULD WE FORGET OUR DEAR OLD FAGIN WORRY!!

mate that aint single file did you not hear him

am i the only one who can hear london bridge is falling down in the back??

our pockets hold a watch of gold that chimes upon the hour!!! a wallet fat an old mans hat!!! the jewels from the tower!!!

WE KNOW THE NOSEY POLICEMEENNNN

dodger and charley (i am SURE charley is purple blazer kid even if havent seen this film in ages) are GETTING INTO THIS

oliver 🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺

movie fagin rights pt 27238227

DODGER OLIVER COME ON!!!!!!!!! alright dude chill

ARE YALL SEEING THIS SHIT, I WAS RIGHT, I TOLD YOU THAT THE LAD IN THE PURPLE BLAZER WHO SINGS “a wallet fat an old mans hat” WAS CHARLEY BATES AND GUESS WHAT HE FUCKING IS. I WAS RIGHT, PURPLE BLAZER KID IS CHARLEY YOU CAN LEAVE NOW

no dont were only an hour in

three kids on the back of the omnibus what will they do

dodger and charley said be gay do crimes

ah shit now look what youve gotten us into dodger

IT WASNT EVEN OLIVER IT WAS CHARLEY AND DODGER GO AFTER THEM

are dodger and charley straight up framing oliver for a crime they commited while also helping him escape

yes they are why are we surprised

i hate to break it to you dodger but hiding oliver in a meat sack doesnt work

OLIVERS ON THE ROOF????

charley and dodger got oliver into this mess and they are not going to get him out

WHY DIDNT YOU LOOK AFTER HIM????? right calm down fagin

how could i help it :((((

no bill!

stan nancy

“two other boys stole it” no shit

BROWNLOW !

run bitch run

right intermission time now

AND WE’RE BACK!

entr acte

who will buyyy

strawberry girl is carrying this

oliver owns my heart pt 278983728938728

this is a banger wtf

okay its done now right

right?????

UHH BILL???? DODGER???? BITCH WHY TF ARE YOU HERE

have bill fagin nancy and the boys been stalking oliver???

NO SHE WONT FAGIN!

shit.

fuck bill

this scene is far more sadder when you think of how the boys have just seen the only woman they see as a mother figure been hit to the flo or, im not crying, you are

as long as he needs me :(

FUCK YOU BILL

rose maylie is that you?!

look at lil oliver!!

BILL FUCK OFF

i hate bill

“look at his togs! he’s got books too!” charley and dodger are my emotional support kids

anyway have i mentioned i hate bill, bc i hate bill.

I REALLY REALLY HATE BILL

even fagin aka the guy whos keeping these kids as pickpockets has more morals than bill

WE STAY CALM!!

no bill i havent heard a dying chicken

act one was just childish antics now we have THIS

fuck bill

YOURE TELLING ME THE BOYS WATCHED THAT????

jack wild is a banging actor. he genuinely looks terrified 🥺

this film..

a mans got a heart hasnt he?? yes you do!!!

a full song dedicated to movie fagin rights?? did i ghostwrite this?? probably

banger

ithinkidbetterthinkitoutagain!

villains theives and nine year olds

MR BUMBLE?????!!!!!!!!!!

fuck bill pt72898376728909878199

bill youre traumatising him

cmon nance do something!!

also completely forgot abt this but uh does monks exist in this i forgot bc we have had no mentions of him yet

nancy tell him who bill is!!!

bullseye deserves better

uhm what is going on

bill sikes more like bill yikes

oliver what are you doing

BILL TERRIFIES ME

FUCK

omg oom pah pah????

leave oliver alone bill hes like nine

oh banger

OOM PAH PAH THATS HOW IT GOES!!!!!!!!!

just asking are nancy and bet lesbians bc they look it

COULD IT BE OOM PAH PAHHHHHH

god i love this song

IT SHOOOOOWSSSSSS

its the same oom pah pah

“She was from the country but now shes up a gumtree she let a fella feed her then lead her a long” foreshadowiinnggg

OOM PAH PAH! OOM PAH PAH! OOM PAH PAH!

nancy is so fucking smart

getting the whole pub singing and dancing to smuggle out oliver? clever

fuck

bill.. no.. bill.. bill????

FUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKC

BILL GET OFF HER

NANCY NO

HE STRAIGHT UP COMMIT MURDER AGAINST THE NICEST CHARACTER

BROWNLOW DO YOU NOT HEAR NOTHING

nancy deserved a better death than to be killed by bill fuck bill

EVEN BULLSEYE HATES YOU BILL

ARE THEY ACCUSING BULLSEYE OF MURDER

FUCK YOU BILL

movie fagin rights + fuck bill combo?

youre telling me fagin had an ESCAPE ROUTE??? AT THE BOTTOM OF THE HOUSE THING??? THE WHOLE TIME???

BILL DONT KILL THE CHILD

BILL

fuck, well. #

“WHAT DO I DO!?” “LIVE UP TO YOUR NAME, DODGE ABOUT”

ten quid says dodgers been caught

oh no all fagins shit is gone

BILL DONT KILL THE CHILD PT 2

FUCK YOU BILL

GOD I HATE HIM

OLIVER MATE ARE YOU OK

never have i been so happy to see a character die

rest in shit bill

hi dodger thought you got caught n went to australia

god, this film is so fucking good.

reviewing the situation 2.0 goes hard

MOVIE. FAGIN. RIGHTS!

FAGIN YOU CAN BE A GOOD MAN YOU KNOW YOU CAN

DODGER??????????

IM TOTALLY NOT CRYING RN

FAGIN NO DONT TAKE IT

FUCKING PLOTTWIST

IT MADE IT LOOK LIKE FAGIN WAS GONNA GIVE THE WALLET BACK TO DODGER BUT NO

once the villain you’re the villain to the end

i completely forgot abt this scene since i’ve been reading the oliver twist book and in that dodger gets arrested and fagin gets hanged but here they get away?

god this is bittersweet

I THINK WE’D OUGHT TO THINK IT OUT AGAIN!!!!!

thats where the film should have ended, i get olivers the main character but it ending on dodger and fagin walking out into the sunset is such a pleasing ending man

oliver gets his happy ending abt time

YES CONSIDER YOURSELF AND BE BACK SOON (THE BIGGEST BANGERS IN THE FILM) CREDITS SONGS!!

well.. that was a journey and half

#oliver!#oliver twist #oliver #oliver! 1968 #oliver 1968 #charlie’s comfort movies #oliver twist 1968 #oliver! the musical #oliver the musical #musicals #1960s #1960s movies #60s #mark lester #jack wild #oliver reed #ron moody #shani wallis #and everyone else in the huge ass cast

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autisticangus · 4 years

Text

anyway im so out of the loop on the mcelboys

i pretty much only keep semi-up to date with Sawbones at this point, not cuz i dont still LIKE everything else, just a lot has been goin on in my life

if anyone wants a long and rambly update on All Of The Bullshit im gonna stick a read more down here, asks are open and its cool to message me abt any of it if u want cuz i have some really nice and cool followers/mutuals here that make me comfy talkin abt that shit

as far as the future of this blog goes i wanna start using it more again! the mcelroys have gotten me out of some really dark places before so i hope having more connection to this community and the people here and their content again will help me like it has in the past! ill probs post more general mcelroy content here than previously rather than just taz btw i just gotta fuckin uhhhhh,,,, catch up on a bunch of shit again before this blog is even semi active lmaoo but im like alive and on tumblr regularly again!!

Wow u clicked on this and wanna hear me talk? Ur awesome and sweet, thanks for caring!

These past two years have been extraordinarily tough. This is gonna be a pretty long and detailed post that deals with the sensitive topics of emotional abuse, abusive relationships, and alcoholism. Please read on with caution.

Back in March of 2019, so this was about 3-4 months after i left tumblr, I got a new boyfriend and things started out really good, he was kind of a "bad boy" and it was fun at first. Im kind of a goody-goody so it was very interesting for me at first to be with someone so different who had such different life experiences than me. I liked hearing his stories of living in a traphouse, and running with gangs, and selling drugs, and knowing people who had killed people. I assumed a LOT of it was lies, obviously, who just brags about that shit u know? I just rolled with it, didnt take it seriously, and found the imagined scenarios interesting to listen to. So much of it was obviously played up to make him seem cooler, and I shouldve seen that as the red flag it was, and all my friends did but I didnt.

He had a serious alcohol problem, I mean I had coffee in the morning and he had 2 four lokos before noon. it was bad. about 6 months into the relationship he decided i was cheating on him with my ex who i had recently reconnected with, we missed being friends and things were really going well talking and being friends again, he was really important to me! but my boyfriend saw this as yet another thing i was doing wrong. when he decided i was cheating, that become his focus of alcoholic rage. nearly every time he got drunk, which was several times a week, he would accuse me of things, he would yell and scream, he would call me horrible names and make me cry for literal hours, he never hit me but that shouldnt even matter, i was emotionally battered and mentally bruised and everything hurt. he gaslit me into believing i said and did things i never said or did, i admitted to things that were not real, and then i was yelled at for admitting them. i didnt know what to do.

he was threatening my ex too, he would get drunk and say he knew where he lived (he didnt) or he knew what car he drove (he didnt) and explained to me many times that although he had never killed someone, people had been killed before at his command. he said a bullet in the back of my ex’s brain was just a phone call and $500 away. somedays he would tell me he was just going to do it himself, with a hammer, or a kitchen knife, or whatever weapon he could get his hands on during his explanation of how he would do it. my only option was to agree, to say it didnt matter to me what happened to him, i had to pretend my on

/ly concern was him going to jail for the crime, if i showed any sign that i didn’t want my ex murdered, it clearly meant i was cheating on him.

i pretended to block my ex on social media to get him off my back and it worked a little bit but he still brought it up. and even if he didnt directly mention him, he would always tell me when he was drunk that i was the cause of all his problems, i was why he was so self conscious, i was why he drank so much, i was why he had to work so hard, i was why every single issue he had was happening. logically i knew it was wrong, but i was so conditioned to it by then that i just went with it. i knew that agreeing and apologizing made the fighting end quicker.

things spiraled this past summer. his job needed us to relocate so we moved like 4 states away, away from all my family and friends, and lived in a tiny hotel room for a month. during this time, his drinking was somehow worse. he was drunk literally every night but he was passing out so we didnt fight and i was relieved. i was depressed being stuck in the hotel room all day alone, but thankful i wasnt being abused at least. then he started getting into drunken fistfights with his coworkers in the hotel parking lot. one day he came home just in time to find one of his drunk coworkers trying to break into the room with me there desperately trying to keep him out. i was terrified and wanted to go home but he convinced me to stay. a couple weeks after that we travelled for his work again several more states away. his drinking got a little bit better here, but i was so depressed and lonely, i was so isolated, he was all i saw day in and day out besides his coworkers and i was nervous around them. one day the guy who tried to break in on me, purposefully, while drunk, hit another coworkers car and totaled it and tried to run the guy over and i saw the whole thing. a week later my boyfriend was also fired because he got so drunk he passed out in the hotel parking lot and the company needed to save face with the hotel after the whole car incident.

so we travelled back home, but not my home, to his where we lived isolated on a mountain with no phone signal or wifi. the house was old and not well kept from being empty for several years, half the appliances didnt work. i was more isolated than i have ever been in my life. for 4 months i stayed there and just dreaded him coming home because i knew he would be drunk again and he'd yell or accuse me of things or otherwise belittle me. it was horrible. my friends all said to leave and my parents said to leave but i was so brainwashed into thinking that if i was just a good little housewife and if i just stayed home and did the dishes and the laundry that he would be nicer but he still found things to point at and say i was cheating. he was also becoming really controlling about my food intake and weight and i already struggle with an eating disorder so that just made me feel even more like i had to stay, my brain felt like if i wasnt under his watchful eye id gain weight again, like somehow it was thanks to him i had lost weight and not my own choices.

one day last week i expressed to him wanting to leave, saying how unhappy i was, i told him how sad i felt and how i didnt think we were such a good match. he didnt take me seriously, so the next day when he got sloppy drunk before 5 pm i packed a small bag and went to my moms. i was just gonna stay for a night or two but he called and screamed at me for leaving without telling him, i told him he just didnt remember me telling him because he was so drunk, and he accused me of not caring about his feelings and made me sound like the bad guy for leaving without his permission. i told him it was just for a few days but the angrier he got the more i knew i was in the right and told him i was done. i told him we were breaking up and id come get my stuff soon.

i got my stuff while he was at work this past weekend and moved in with my best friend. im safe and happy now. things are looking so much better for me and im so thankful to my friends and family who supported me all the way to the end.

i just wanted to make this post because, i know its not mcelroy related, and a lot of ppl probably dont care for stuff like this on this kind of blog, but i think its important.

its important to friends and family of people in abusive relationships to be steady. dont give up your ground. even if the person keeps pushing back and wont leave the person, keep being there for them, it can take a long time, it took me almost 2 years to leave, it takes some people even longer, but just stay there for them and be there for them when they finally make that step. dont give up on them.

and to those who have been in these kinds of relationships, and especially those who are there right now: it is not your fault. it is so, so hard to leave, i know, but please try to find help and support and resources to do it. if all your friends dont like someone, theres a good reason for it. please dont fall into the trap of thinking your friends dont have the best intentions for you. there are so many things you may overlook in the moment that others can see from a mile away are horrible. especially if you have been abused in the past. its incredibly hard to tell what is a red flag when your gut instinct is that anything and everything is a red flag. surround yourself with people who you can trust and listen to them

and trust me, i know how hard it is when youre stuck in that spot of KNOWING you should go but fearing that first step away. its scary. its difficult. but it is worth it. find someone safe you can be with. and if you arent sure, find a reason to leave for just a few days, an excuse, anything. give yourself space from the abuser, tell yourself youre going back in a couple days, just get out from under the thumb long enough to clear your head and things will make more sense with the fog lifted.

when i first got in my car and put my kitten on my lap and told her we were going to my moms for a couple nights, i didnt know if that was the truth. i planned to come back and i knew i didnt want to. i only took enough stuff for a couple days. i couldnt imagine my life changing so drastically. where would i live? how would i make money? who take care of me? i had no clue about any of those things. but after a couple days away I realized i would take care of me. i remembered that i had worked jobs before i was with him, i could do it again. i remembered that i had options of where to live. all of those things were so clouded when i was with him, they felt like impossibilities. once i was away, even just for a short time, things were so much easier to parse.

and i know i had many privileges in this journey not everyone is afforded, and my heart goes out to those who read this and are in this situation and the options i had just arent accessible to you, i am so sorry, i wish i had something more to offer you but all i have is my story, and a wish that it gives you some hope at the very least, and a promise that if you need someone to talk to, im here, i will listen, and you will be heard and loved.

i just want everyone who reads to take something small but important away from it. love your friends, love yourself. please stay safe. please dont give up. remember love should not hurt.

#angus.txt #getting deep in here but it felt good to write #i love u all so much ok pls be good urselves

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daisy--sorbet · 4 years

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heyyy, hope you’re having a good night!! if you have the energy and feel okay answering, what’s up w taz graduation? i haven’t checked it out yet but i was thinking ab it. just asking bc you’re the first person i saw talk ab the show having serious issues, but also feel free to not answer this!! hope you have a good week!

i took a nice hot bath, had a strawberry kiwi capri-sun, and did a nice face mask and i’m feeling pretty good - so, y’know what anon? let’s talk about it.

for anyone who likes taz grad who sees this post: it’ll be tagged with “taz grad hate” (although i feel hate is definitely a very strong word - it’s for the simplicity of tagging it) - so please block the tag if you don’t want to see this post (especially because i put a readmore on a post before and it didn’t show up on mobile and instead gave the full post). mobile tumblr has a tag blocking system, so please feel free to use it! i don’t mind haha

anyway, so this is... probably going to be a lost post, and i wanna go ahead and preface it: this absolutely isn’t any hate on the mcelroys themselves. i love the brothers and their dad a lot, and while i doubt any of them would ever see this (or have it sent to them, or shown to them, because im pretty sure they try to distance themselves from this sort of thing), i just want to make it clear that criticizing a product is different than bashing a person. which brings me to the point of if i do end up sounding as if im bashing someone - please call me out on it! it’s not my intention to target anyone.

with that said, let’s talk about this campaign.

so my problems are as thus: the railroading, the shipping (a fandom problem, but it’s present in the podcast), the NPCs, and some misc problems others have addressed better than i have.

which. i know. that’s basically the entire podcast. (i promise i’ll bring up some positive points to balance it all out). keep in mind i’ve only personally listened to... what, six episodes? and it was enough for me to drop it. some people dropped it first ep, some dropped it ep four, and others are still forcing themselves to listen.

the railroading

there was a time i could handle travis and his railroading [making sure the story goes exactly the way he has planned], because it was the very beginning of the podcast and that’s what you can kind of expect from a plot-heavy podcast. hell, i wouldn’t mind it if the interactions and goofs weren’t a huge part of why i listen to TAZ in particular (which, by the way, is why amnesty still stuck out to me - even if there was a direction griffin wanted to push them towards, the interactions between the players (or players and npcs) made up for any railroading). it’s kind of hard to not railroad a little when it’s story-heavy and you’re trying to built up a world that you’ve put a lot of thought into. however, a huge part of d&d is the spontaneity.

it’s kind of why i think balance was so popular. while there was railroading towards the end, there was the presence of improv that made it all good. most mcelroy content is enjoyed because of the goofs. the magic brian moment is memorable. the jenkin’s fight still stands out because it was funny (albeit a result of some bad rolls). the boys teasing angus sticks out because the four would play well off of each other. even without that - griffin had talked about how he had to roll with things (the fact he had planned for a fight atop the train, but ditched the idea for what his family members came up with instead). even in amnesty, a couple moments that stick out to me still are ned with the jetpack taking out a pizza hut sign, and the scene with the water where jake was trapped inside. they aren’t as fun, but they still stand out as “things i didnt expect to really end the way they did.”

with grad, it’s just. one after another. the thundermen want to subpoena a xorn? cool, let’s run with that until actually the xorn gets fed rocks and goes home and who cares about the subpoena now. fitzroy wants to keep his cloak? lets talk about it for a while and you also get no rolls to even try to keep it. fitzroy goes to meet higglemas in his office? oh, why are you here fitzroy? im going to keep asking you until you answer fitzroy? you arent getting out of this scene until you answer me, fitzroy, so just tell me why you’re here already, alright, fitzroy?

and even later in a episode i read a transcript of: hey argo, remember how you have this whole secret motivation? fuck you, im gonna talk about it here in your dream and reveal it to listeners and remove any tension you had building up, and you dont get a choice to talk about it because this all-knowing villain knows all about it :)

and even NOW in the latest episode, there’s a comment that “we should cap argo’s skills here” instead of just... making the checks higher. rogues are good at certain things and usually arent the best in battles. better hope argo never makes it to level 11, because who knows how people are gonna handle the fact that he gets a skill that’ll make it so certain skills can’t have a roll below 10 (reliable talent).

(griffin, thankfully, calls travis out for that, but still - travis, why would you even imply that, considering you should be aware of how rogues work considering magnus multiclassed into rogue and you played one on tiny heist?)

and in the newest episode, their Big Bad chaos (which, god, i personally hate that name) straight-out says “dont do this” to the thundermen. travis tries to say, on twitter, “a character saying “dont do this” is different than me saying it” but i need to point out that it’s one thing if you’ve said “no” in character but worked with the PCs doing otherwise, but the railroading says differently.

the shipping

ill try to make this quick, because it’s nothing to do with the fandom (ship however you want, man) - but i really feel the need to draw attention to this.

fitzroy, as confirmed by griffin in a ttazz episode, is asexual. not aroace, but ace nonetheless. and i find it... troublesome that the idea of rainer and fitzroy having a relationship is still pushed nonetheless, despite the fact that fitzroy (to my knowledge) was never once shown to reciprocate any feelings. not to be that person, but i really hope that grad doesnt have any sort of romantic relationships in it (at least - not between NPCs and PCs unless they’re actually like... warranted?).

i dont know, man. one of my closest friends is ace, and i know she wants a relationship, but i think it would reassure her a lot to see an ace character who isn’t pushed into one in case she ever changes her mind. someone once mentioned that they hope fi/tz/ra/in doesnt happen because theres relationships that have that “oh, you can just date” and it goes upwards there to “oh, you can have sex just to please them <3″ (which, to be honest, is kind of a gross mindset - if someone isnt interested, they arent interested).

also, uh, the TTAZZ where griffin states this, there’s kind of the mention tht the whole sexuality question was posed in relation to the episode “creative thinking” (the dream one i mentioned earlier) - which. uh. i don’t know if anyone caught this, but... rainer straight-up wrote fitzroy a letter in the dream like “are you going to accept my proposal? a girl doesn’t like to be left waiting” which. leaves me with some gross feelings because uh.

if... if the whole thing about fitzroys sexual orientation was addressed here, then why would you push your ship anyway? feels kinda iffy, man.

to which i want to say: fitzroy can date. he’s allowed to date. griffins allowed to do whatever he wants with his character. but when a lot of the flirting is met with nothing, i’m not gonna see the chemistry there. just because travis ships it doesn’t mean it’s canon.

the npcs

ah yes. lets talk about the npcs.

there’s... a lot. a lot a lot. i think travis trimmed down how many were present in a scene, but uh. there’s still a lot. and... uh... i kinda wish there wasn’t?

look, i know im going back to balance/amnesty, but just. hang in there for a moment. chill with me. vibe.

balance didnt have too many NPCs present at all times in each mini-arc. gerblins had some big names like barry, klarg, gundren, killian, yeemick, and magic brian. rockport limited had angus, jess, graham the juicy wizard jenkins, and all of the tom bodetts mentioned.

amnestys first arc had mama, barclay, jake, dani, pigeon, kirby, minerva, and that was about it for like. big names? and not all of them were present in each scene.

in the first episode of grad alone: gary, hernandez, jimson, rolandus, zana, rhodes, buckminster eden, rainer, leon, tomas, hieronymous, higglemas, stuart, jackle, bartholomeus, mulligan, groundsy, germaine/victoria/rattles (the skeleton crew). and those are the ones i wrote down (minus groundsy, who i just. ignores. idk him).

like holy shit, my english prof got onto me for having too many characters in my first chapter and i didnt even have half the amount listed there!

it’s just a huge cast. does this take place in a school? yes! theres bound to be a lot of students present - but you don’t have to name every single one of them, at least not in the first episode!

the miscellaneous

i don’t know if travis ever actually addressed it, but wheelchair users have actually like... said that rainer’s introduction bothered them, because she was like “please ask me abt my wheelchair :)” when travis saying she was in an ornate chair would have sufficed.

uh. the colonization vibes people have discussed within the centaur arc. mentioned here, the replies here, and this post (and its replies) here as well.

the overall lack of d&d when the campaign was kind of advertised as a return to d&d if i remember correctly

also no one seems to be taking literally any criticism at all which like. ignoring the petty shit, sure, but people have stopped donating to taz and their listener-ship must have dropped some during this entire time - you’d think that maybe someone could say “we need to find out why people dont like the thing and fix the thing” consider this is. yknow. their livelihood.

anyway uhhh

tl;dr: travis railroads way too much (even now), the shipping in-game has become pushy and gross (especially bc its shoving a relationship onto an asexual character), theres too many npcs that dont stand out well enough, and no ones taking any criticism about the major issues with grad.

#taz grad hate #taz graduation hate #Anonymous #ok im gonna go to sleep now goodnight #maybe ill wake up to hate tbh that'll be wild

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nightmaretyrantvantas · 4 years

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The Journey for Mew part 1: The horrifying beginning

Well here we go! The start of a fic series for my recently posted sander sides pokemon au, which was inspired by @sugarglider9603‘s pokemon au

This is gonna start angsty, turn to a slightly thrilling adventurous hurt and comfort, and will have a happy ending I promise!

A trigger warning for the begining: Theres cursing, fighting(pokemon battling counts in this category right?) and slight mentions of blood, and injuries.

This is also going to be my first full series with a planned ending so I hope its good!

Also to establish this now each of the boys specialize in different pokemon types

Thomas: Normal/water(plus his team is all eeveelutions) Roman: Fire Patton: Fairy/some psychic Logan: Psychic/steel Virgil: ghost/dark Deceit: Bug/ ground Remus: Dark/poison

Now lets get started shall we? ( this one is long to buckle in)

It all started that one fated, horrible winter night. Of course the night itself hadnt started horrible.

It had been a quiet night on the Sander Sanctuary grounds when Virgil slipped out of the shared farm house and started walking towards the east side of the property, and towards the darkened office building a little ways from the house. He took in a deep breath of the crisp night air, smiling as he watched his breath’s smoke dissipate while he walked. Virgil didnt have any job duties or training sessions the next day so he decided he’d stay up that night to spend time with the sanctuary’s dark and ghost pokemon. As he walked through the grass, eyes adjusting to the dim moonlight and scattered lanterns that dotted the property and its pathways, he couldnt help but smile more. Sitting on his shoulders chittering happily was his trusted partner Banette, the doll pokemon’s zipper grin wide and cheerful. Sally had always been a brave cheerful pokemon, a contrast to her trainer’s shyer, anxious nature.

“ You excited to play with all your friends Sally?”Sally, affectionately named after a character in one of his favorite movies, nodded her head and waved her arms in her excitement. Virgil chuckled and tried to dodge getting smacked.

“ Ghas?” “ Gastly!!” He paused as three young Gastly floated around him happily, cheering at his presence. As they did Sally hopped to the ground and was immediately swarmed by a group of shuppets, giggling as she was nuzzled and blepped. Virgil’s smile widened and he patted one of the Gastly as he was also nudged and avoided their playful licks.

“ hehe h-hey guys im happy to see you all to-aaaaaaah!” He flailed his arms as he fell back when A large Gengar popped up in front of his with its arms up, being caught mid fall by strong rough hands. He leaned his head back and let out an exasperated sigh at the sight of a familiar grinning Trevenant, it’s laugh echoing out of its mouth soon joined by the Gengar’s giggling. He stood back up and regained his balance, hands on his hips at the two pranksters.

“ Ha ha ha. Very funny you two, you got me.” Then he ruffled Gengar’s fur and patted Trevenant’s head.

Gengar was one of the older ghost pokemon, one of the eldest to live at the Sanctuary if Virgil remembered correctly. He’d been a Haunter when Thomas had been bequeathed the property from his grandfather and he and thomas had moved onto it and started cleaning it up and he’d been there with them through everything, playing harmless pranks and helping out. Virgil had befriended and grown close to the pokemon, even as it stayed happily wild in the east woods of the property with its best friend Trevenant, who he had helped nurse back to health from a Phantump. The two followed at his side as he kept walking, more ghost and dark pokemon gathering and happily playing around him perfectly at ease with the ghost trainer’s presence. Some even welcomed it as younger pokemon poked and tugged at his pants and jacket to get him to chase them and play tag. He indulged the kids, making them squeal and him laugh. A few feet away from the back of the office building he could see a light shining in a back room, signifying Logan was still awake and working despite it nearing midnight. He could also see pokemon peering into the window curiously, watching the older trainer work. He sighed and started crossing the distance to the building, deciding he’d try to urge Logan to go to bed. Unlike himself Logan had other work in the morning, and he didnt need to be an insomniac too. As he walked his Espeon caught up and trotted beside him contently with a yawn. He reached down and ruffled his fur. “You could’ve stayed in bed you weirdo.” His Espeon gave him an incredulous look and Virgil shrugged. Things were peaceful, and happy.

If only that could’ve last...

He felt the shift in the air, everything suddenly feeling tenser or charged. At first he thought it was simply his paranoia rearing its head, and he looked up towards the looming shadow of Geolite mountain up towards the top of the valley, and the way the moon seemed to touch the summit, almost cradled by it. There was a branch snap and his head whipped towards the fence, and the darkness beyond it. With narrowed eyes Virgil started approaching, hearing something like whispering.

“ Houndoom use shadow ball!” His eyes widened and he scrambled back as a shadow ball hit the fence and destroyed a good chunk of it with a loud boom. He had to cover his ears and he heard the pokemon start scattering or hiding behind him. When his ears stopped ringing he looked towards the smoked mangled fence in horror, stomach twisting into knots. THen he looked beyond it and he felt cold.

Shadowed sillouettes with almost glowing red R’s blazened on their chests were approaching with pokemon, streetlights flickering.

Team Rocket.

Virgil had always feared this might happen, that word of their pokemon haven would reach people like Giovanni and they’d be attacked for rare pokemon. With kids unknowingly spreading rumors and legends of legendaries visiting and living at the sanctuary, it was a terrifying possibility. But Virgil didnt have time to think about it, or to think of anything really.

“ Houndoom flamethrower!”

Because the next thing he knew there was a large unrelenting spray of flames rushing straight for him and the pokemon behind him uncaring. Virgil didnt think, instead his body move and he squeezed his eyes shut as he tried to block as many pokemon as he could, as if his body and his body alone would completely shield them from any harm. In a single moment in the distance he thought he heard a wailing cry fainting pierce the night.

There were legends in the Floria region that they lived in that if you heard Giratina’s cry while you were out at night, it was a signal that you or someone else was about to die. It was a legend Logan loved debating and it was one Virgil had always taken with a grain of salt before.

It was Giratina’s enraged cry that pierced the air that night.

As the cry faded Virgil realized he wasnt burning to a crisp but it was still bright he opened his eyes and looked up.

And he was horrified.

Before him, blocking the name fading flames was a small pink pokemon floating in the air as a protective bubble of pink finished shattering around it. Mew’s body was covered in burns and tears started burning in his eyes as it then wobbled and fluttered towards the ground, virgil just barely managing the catch the injuried pokemon. He cradled the legendary in his arms in a panic, watching the poor thing’s shallow breathing as it keened softly, eyes barely open.

“ No no no no nonononononononoo.....” At once Mew’s tail touched his forehead and imaged flashed through his mind.

The mountain

The heart of the mountain

A natural spring of gentle glowing water in a cavern of light bouncing crystals

Placing Mew in the spring

Healing. A place to heal Mew.

“ Aha the rumors are true! There are legendaries here! Mr. Giovanni is going to be thrilled! Grab the Mew and any other pokemon you can and get rid of the stupid trainer if he gets in the way!” He glared at the grunts as they started approaching closer, holding Mew closer as it shut its eyes tiredly. In front of him his Espeon and Sally stood defensively, both growling. But they were out numbered by a long shot. Lights were turning on in the house but it would be too late if he didnt do something. But if he got too close they’d take Mew and he’d never get it back to the mountain. But if he ran the pokemon would be raided and captured and hurt.

“ Sally Shadow ball! Anxie used Psybeam!! Keep them away!” Both pokemon attacked and suddenly there was a barage of shadow balls and other attacks that knocked a bunch of the intruders back. Ghost and dark pokemon, including his own, charged forward in a rage, engaging the intruder’s pokemon in battle and trying to push them back and away from Virgil. He saw his two trusted buddies and the gengar that trusted him surrounded, and felt his vision go red when he saw grunts eyeing them and appraoching with nets and collars. They were going to take his friends. They were NOT taking his friends and they were not hurting the pokemon. He stood shakily and heard yelling. He could see Deceit rushing towards him from the house and Logan rushing out of the office confused and horrified. But Team Rocket was coming back onto the property, eyes locked on the pokemon in his arms. He had to do something quick before they all got hurt. Both of the others saw his mouth move with words unheard before he wrapped mew in his thick jacket and he rushed forward, tossing the jacket bundle to Deceit and charged forward recklessly. He let out his own angry cry as he sprinted, and the grunt the was about to lunge for his precious Sally looked up.

Just in time to see the black gloved fist that slammed into his face seconds later. He fell back and wasnt able to see the boot covered foot swing up and kick him away from the chest. He caught the humans around him by surprise and his body was illuminated by the nearby streetlight as he lunged and yanked one of their houndooms back as it readied another flamethrower towards his friends and winced as it grazed his arm. But adrenaline was flowing and he barely noticed as he shoved it back and fought back against the other grunts that started ganging up on him.

Virgil fought back with everything he had, and he was winning too. The light flickered again. There was another yell.

Then he felt the taser rod before he saw it.

In that moment the world seemed to slow, his scream of pain as his vision flashed white seemed to cut the air in half. His vision started going dark and he felt weightless even as he crumpled to the ground, and the last things he heard was Giratina’s louder, enraged cry, and the wail of multiple pokemon, almost as if they were crying

Or it was a war cry.

“ VIRGIL!!!!!!!” Logan almost screamed when he saw his friend drop to the floor like a ragdoll into a heap under the spotlight. He started running forward as more booms and ground tremors almost knocked him over. The once dark night was now morbidly lighting up with fire coming from the west side past the house, and he could hear more yelling of his housemates over the sound of angry and panicking pokemon. He didnt want to believe he heard the impossible sound of Giratina’s cry but there was no time to think about that.

His eyes were on virgil as he screamed his name and tried to run through battles. But before he could even get close his body was grabbed by psychic forces and yanked back. He yelped and struggled against his Alazakam’s power.

“ Alakazam! What are you doing?! Let me go! I have to help Virgil!” The pokemon shook its head and held him close. It was then he felt the ground begin shaking under his feet. In the sparking, flickering streetlight the grunt that had taken Virgil down stumbled back in fear. Beneath Virgil’s unmoving form a shadow was growing and swirling around him, growing more and more and anger radiating from it. For a brief moment Logan thought he saw bright teal eyes flash in that inky darkness as a low growl sounded.

In that moment Logan had the realization that perhaps the silly urban legends and rumors the kids in town whispered, myths that anyone who messes with or hurts the sanctuary and those who work in it invoke the wrath of the legendary pokemon, had more stock in them then he ever gave them credit for.

And then hell broke loose with one last, almost ear ringingly close enraged wail filled the air and the ground shook with some kind of impact.

A shadow ball whizzed past his ear and he was yanked back as his metagross got in front of his protectively and casted a protect around them.

Within that moment four major things happened at once.

The woods bursted with furious and battle ready ghost and dark pokemon as they charged towards the grunts that attacked Virgil, Sally leading the charge with an war cry and tears in her pinkish red eyes.

On the west side of the house there was screaming and yelling as Roman and Patton both fought and tried to protect the pokemon and put out the fires as well as fighting off another wave of intruders, Roman’s ranger styler lit up and active as he tried to keep grunts away from the more vulnerable grass pokemon being attacked.

Near the woods he caught a brief glimpse of Deceit cradling the jacket bundle in his arms, barely catching his face before he suddenly disappeared into thin air and a furious Dusknior was in his place before charging into battle itself.

And there was screaming and angry yelling from near the front and he caught glances of thomas and his team of eeveelutions defending the nursery part of the house and keeping grunts back, and glimpses of a bloodied Remus full out charging and attacking grunts, knocking them down with his fists and feet with a wild look on his face. Everything was chaotic and Logan struggled more, pleading with his protective pokemon to let him go, let him out and go help his loved ones. But then he took a chance to calm down, take a shaky breath, and stood up straight.

“ Lets go.”

Things blurred for Logan after that. He could remember being freed. Could remember running along side the battling pokemon with Lucario at his side.

He remembered the yelling and wailing and pokemon cries and running through battles.

He remembered stumbling through the thick darkness towards Virgil’s form and cradling the lanky boy in his arms.

He vaguely remembered Team Rocket being forced back more and more and soon after retreating and being run off by Remus and a barage of pissed off pokemon.

He remembered crying and yells of his name as he tried to wake him up.

He also remembered long wails of despair and the gagging reek of smoke and the darkness around him and Virgil slipping away and rising, a dark clawed hand reaching towards his face placatingly.

‘ He will live, but now, you both must sleep....’

And then there was darkness as Logan slumped forward into Darkrai’s embrace, everything fading away as his eyes fell shut......

The same kind of darkness Deceit was surrounded by as he crashed into the ground and found himself far from his endangered home with mew tucked in his arms looking up the looming mountain he stood at the base of....

And thats the end of part 1! I warned you guys it would be angsty! dont worry itll get better....eventually...

Regardless I hope you guys like part 1 and look forward to part 2!!!

taglist

@phantommoonpeople

@sweetsweetemo

@leesacrakon

@amazable01

@starbucks-remy

@jemthebookworm

@max-is-tired

@seriously-a-dragon

@sugarglider9603

#my writing #sander sides #sander sides au #sander sides writing #sander sides fanfiction #pokemon au #sander sides pokemon au #sander sides angst #thomas sanders #character thomas #roman sanders #virgil sanders #virgil angst #patton sanders #logan sanders #deceit sanders #remus sanders

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mousehole5000 · 4 years

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tgcf lb part 5 chapters 34 - 42 wow i keep cranking these out

okay i do care about feng xin. cranky but quietly forgiving debts. he was the one who stayed with xie lian in banishment for a while thats interesting

lmao yeah thats for sure. secrets are funny. “dont tell xie lian i want his debt forgiven.” “no problem buddy he wont hear it from me ;)” i imagine this happens a lot. gossip in the heavenly court must be something else.

i think its cool that the officials can transform their appearances including gender presentation i think it would be boring to live for hundreds of years and never mess around with that if you could. not so sure that anything cool is going to happen with it wrt commentary on gender but that sure would be neat. considering how few major female characters are around im not really expecting much but idk its something

if they ever do a live action tgcf i hope they preserve its comedic nature and do it kind of like lingjian mountain with some sort of modern day fourth-wall breaking meta humor. some of the items and mechanisms essentially function as smartphones and i think it would be great if they leaned into how funny that is instead of making it super serious

spoiled rich boy seems to be quite a theme among mxtx characters i know but here with wind master qingxuan its being commented on interesting. i like him tho

the thing about the wind master and ling wen being more powerful when they appear as the gender that mortals worship them as is pretty interesting!! something kind of interesting is happening wrt commentary on gender!! will it continue? we shall see

death becomes her 1992 again this is funny ghost humor is funny more please

corpse bride 2005 GHOST CITY BABY. oh please more weird undead stuff please please i get it i get hua cheng now please

god i hate when im at the market with but my friend gets taken away for a ghost facial and im left all alone to deal with an extremely aggressive ghost prostitute but at least i was raised in abstinence so im chill about it

ADKJLKFJLflkasjf . KLFJASLKFJSLF. LKFJLDKSAFJSLJK. no further comment at this time

actually no i kind of love that as an excuse to get out a situation. love in general that xie lian does not hold others opinions of him that highly love a protagonist who is not too proud. to be fair for 800 years i dont think hes been around anyone whos opinion he would need to care about long term. also i was afraid that hua cheng was going to show up and have to rescue xie lian from the eww nasty dead girl prostitute and im glad that didnt happen

:Oc :Oc ^ thats xie lian and wind master. lang qianqiu was not wrong tho. dont be risking other peoples lives for your business smh

xie lian trying to bet on a low number and rolling high.... sorry beloved but you should have see that coming a mile away

this little dice shaking “teaching” scene is giving me hardcore dafan mountain flashbacks with hualian having a little moment while behind them theres an entire gambling den full of ghosts just watching them like. um. hello? guys? where is the violence?

lang qianqiu jock i think. wind master long suffering friend

that tumblr post thats like “no actually i dont want to fuck busty russian singles in my area” “i do. outta the way gayboy!” but xie lian and me respectively about the ghost city dancers

also love that hua cheng’s idea of pretending not to know xie lian involved personally calling him up to touch his hands for an extended period of time. i mean to be fair it worked but xie lian agrees with me on this so im right

makes sense love it. to be fair if i was a heavenly official i would also come to ghost city to party it up. goth central as rey called it

bandaged boy..... :(

i sincerely hope any adaption would include stuff like this and make it as funny as it is in my head

essentially the equivalent of those little doorknob covers you use to babyproof a house fjadlkfjfasd

hua cheng goth game hard af for having a sentient scimitar that can stare back at you

xie lian closet goth for this one

hua cheng is able to lend out his luck.. interesting. this feels like something that has the potential to end up sad lets see if that happens or not

okay just gonna cut it here. i do like the relationship between hua cheng and xie lian they clearly like each other and find each other funny and interesting and thats nice to see. still not sure what was going on in that first meeting but im guess we’ll find out more and im sure ill have more thoughts as time goes on im not even done with book one

#okay i should take a break #this is like all ive done today other than go to the post office and stare out the window #tgcf liveblog #mouse mumbles

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normal-thoughts-official · 5 years

Note

At what exact moment do you think malec fall in love?that moment in 1×06 when Magnus uses Alec's strength and then falls down exhausted? It's such an underrated moment but one can write a whole essay on it

as a matter of fact, yes, i do believe it was the moment in 1.06 (there is a reason it is my header, after all) and im really glad u asked because its one of my favorite moments and Ive been thinking of making a post about it in forever but never got to it so [cracks knuckles]

well, actually, i think 1.06 was the moment magnus fell in love. i dont know when alec fell in love, to be honest - i think with him, it was just something that kind of settled and clicked into place, you know? there was that attraction and there was the fact that magnus was an amazing person who had amazing chemistry with alec and who fought for him and extended his hand and tried to comfort him without judgement when no one would really allow him to be himself - and who gave him a space to be more of him than any other. but i dont think there was a precise moment when it hit Alec, and suddenly he had fallen; i think he realised he loved magnus when he said he loved him, but at that point it was already cemented. alec is a steady, careful guy; when he falls, he falls hard and becomes an absolute imbecile but until then it kind of settles in slowly, lodges itself inside of him until its carefully in place, and he doesnt really know when it happened. honestly, i relate to that because that's how it works for me, too.

but with Magnus, it was a little different - he had closed himself off from love for centuries, and while obviously he only fell in love with alec because he was already on the pathway to recover and had been for a while now, sure and steady (alec is definitely the right person for him, but he also came at the right time, cuz if he hadnt Magnus wouldnt really be able to allow himself to give in to the obvious pull they had), breaking that kind of wall is hard and is, for many people, something that happens suddenly, all at once, like the crash of a tsunami wave; it kind of isnt there until it suddenly is, flooding out and filling you. and with magnus that's definitely what happened; he had a click moment, when suddenly his walls were down and he found himself feeling, despite himself

you can see a clear difference in how magnus treats alec in 1.04-05 and how he does in 1.06. in 1.04-05 hes flirty, yes, obviously interested, but hes doing it teasingly, playfully, confident in a way that is only possible when theres not much on the line. don't get me wrong, i dont think he was using alec or lying to him - that's not the kind of person Magnus is at all - i just think that it was harmless flirting and interest with not much at stake. he was keeping his kind of playboy, devil-may-care persona (with the exception of the moment when he told alec there was nothing to be ashamed of, because of course magnus "compulsive emotional support" bane would immediately drop the act when he sees someone struggle. ugh. and alec notices this, too, all right, he can see right through to the person magnus really is in that moment, even if he closes himself off). and that wasnt even just in front of Alec; the whole "playing hard to get, i love a challenge" thing was after alec had hung up, there was no one there, he was just talking to himself the dumb dork and it is clear there is not much at stake for him here; he isnt in love, so theres no chance of heartbreak

compare that to the way he acted during drinks with Alec in 1.06. its a completely different person. even in his posture, the way he looks at Alec and moves around him, his facial expressions, theres a softness and vulnerability that just wasnt there at any point before (did yall thank Harry Shum Jr for ur rights today? seriously the man is such a great actor his talent is unbelievable). and for magnus to allow himself to be vulnerable- well, that's big. that's what he was scared of, after all. that's what has brought him hurt and made him swear off romantic relationships for so long

and he says this; he opens up to alec, a person he barely knows, tells him a little about his past, tells Alec hes unlocked something in him. it's not harmless flirting anymore, its not just a mere pursuit of someone hes casually interested in; theres something way, way deeper going on, and this is abundantly clear throughout the whole scene and every single one of magnus' actions. magnus has fallen. this is serious now; hes feeling things he didnt even remember how to, and his entire demeanor changes.

and look, that's really important to me, okay, because i hate the whole love at first sight thing. so when i started watching sh, i was kind of turned off from malec because i was like "oh theyre gonna suddenly fall in love for no reason" but no. that's not what happened. they had attraction, and chemistry, yes, for sure, definitely, but the feelings that sparked inside of them were very much real and solid and built organically, even if quickly. malec is so powerful because their attraction and devotion to each other makes sense, and because their relationship is so trusting, happy, fun, and healthy.

so lets go to 1.06 - the defining moment, the big game changer for the both of them. i know the exact milisecond magnus falls in love - its this one

(gif isnt mine, i had it saved on my phone and dont remember who made it; if you do, please let me know so i can credit them)

bitch, you are seeing it happen!!! you're watching it, right now!! the way he looks up and his whole face changes; he goes from heavy breaths to these little puffs of air, looks up at alec in awe, and it's all over his face, the softness in his features, the open vulnerability hes showing for the very first time in the entire show - even when he was almost running out of magic, he still looked way more put together than he does in this moment; in here he is open, he has no masks, and hes absolutely soft and open and vulnerable. and you can see it dawn on him too, the realisation that he let alec in, just late enough for it to be too late. it's done. god, i cant fucking believe harry shum jr invented acting. like holy shit, dude

and alec sees it too; in this moment he looks down and he sees the vulnerability in magnus' face and he knows this is the real magnus; that's what he looks like without all the walls and masks, and it's just- beautiful. incredible. you can see the love and the softness inside of him and it's just so easy to find a home in those eyes of his, and ugh, i might be changing my mind, this was the moment alec fell in love too

but anygays, why now, right? what was the big gamechanger in this scene?

well, first of all, id like to stress again, just for good measure, that magnus was already well on his path to recovery from abuse and beginning to open up again; his journey through finding self love and strength to stand on his own feet and be able to open himself for others is his and his alone. alec could be his perfect match (and he is) (fuck it i dont care they are perfect for each other, i never really thought there was such a thing even in fictional couples but shit dude they really are as perfect as it gets, malec truly invented love its unbelievable) and it still wouldnt matter if magnus wasnt ready not only to open up, but to get in a relationship as his own person, and not putting himself down like with camille. of course, he still has a long way to go, and recovery is not a straight line, so he still does things like not tell him when hes hurt and downplay his own pain so as not to "annoy" him or whatever, but he is on equal ground. the very first thing that happens when they finally get together (after the whole wedding ordeal) is, they fight. because alec was being an asshole and treated magnus badly and was really rude and magnus was hurt and he was tired of always being the one to chase after Alec, and he told him that. that's extremely important, because it establishes that Magnus isnt just running after Alec or doing anything for him - he wants a mutually fulfilling relationship and hes willing to fight for it, demand it, not accept less than it. and that's fucking recovery right here, folks. it's so hard for previously abused people to do that. so hard. it still is hard for him, but hes doing it. so, again: Magnus' journey to opening up and finding space for a healthy relationship in his life is his and his alone. and they were lucky as shit to have met when they did.

so, with that being said: 1.06 (god, this answer is such a mess, im ndjdjdidicn). you can see magnus fall in love, right then and there. the moment it happens: when he falls, and realises Alec is still holding him, making sure hes steady. not just that, but holding his hand (despite that being totally unnecessary now), and asking him if he's okay.

it's really unsubtle symbolism (and i mean that in the best possible way): Alec holding him when he fell symbolizes support; holding his hand symbolizes caring, because he could just hold him as to not let him fall, but the fact that hes holding his hand shows that hes trying to support him not just physically, but emotionally; and asking if hes okay shows genuine worry and desire to listen to his needs. again, really unsubtle; but fuck it, that's also part of what makes it powerful, because when was the last time magnus had that, that open caring and supporting and reaching out for him? i mean, obviously Magnus has his friends who are amazing and great to him, but this feeling, of being cared for, so easily, so openly, so obviously, from someone who barely knows him, hell, from a shadowhunter - this is new. both because he hasnt really allowed it - after all, you need to fall for someone to catch you - and because he just. hasnt had that. every time before, when he showed vulnerability, he had his wounds open wide and used against him - with asmodeus after his mom, with Camille after whatever happened that made him consider suicide. and then suddenly this guy shows up, and Magnus didnt even mean to be vulnerable in front of him, not really, he was supposed to hold it, but he does and what he finds is just- caring. worrying. sweetness. a grounding presence and touch. alec is completely focused on him, and isnt rushing him to get back on his feet or anything - hes just holding him and being there for him. he wasnt even looking for it, and suddenly there it is - that trust and reciprocity hed been craving for so long.

and yeah, its unsubtle, but that's also there in more subtle ways; magnus asks for his help, and alec comes without questioning, even if he's mad with pretty much everyone involved. he asks Alec to give him his strength, and he does, openly, without walls - dude, that is so intimate, and you can see how easily the magic flows between them; that's something that can only happen so smoothly if the required trust is given without a second thought. alec is giving his life force to this guy, whom he barely knows, and he doesnt hold back at all - Magnus needs it, he gives it. easy, simple. trusting. an open, clear connection. hes worried about Magnus from the start; he gets in and his first reaction is yelling for magnus and kneeling beside him to make sure hes okay. hes already kind of holding magnus even before magnus falls; he puts himself in a position where hes kind of supporting magnus' weight, and just focuses on giving magnus what he needs. up to this point no one even bothered to ask magnus what he needs. and look, Alec isnt perfect, and he definitely still has his prejudices and ignorance at this point, but this is something special. having someone just give it their all to make sure ur okay, from the get-go, trusting you like that- that's not everyday. specially not for magnus. I think maybe Magnus wouldnt even have lowered his guard enough to have that stumble if Alec hadnt been so easily showing him hes in there together with him, as equals, without so much as a second thought- magnus' persona is polished. hes been through worse without stumbling both before and after. his guard was already down, because Alec had been showing himself to be trustworthy from the start.

and after that, it just keeps going. alec helps him clean up his apartment, without being asked, long after everyone else has already gone - he listens to Magnus talk about his past, attentively, without judgement. he even shows some vulnerability of his own - that fucked-stupid smile when magnus raised his hand to his lips, the glances he throws magnus' way, the way he even manages to talk a bit about his insecurities and confusion; hes opening himself up to Magnus, too. hes smitten. hes interested. the connection is established. he stays the night, and they end up talking all night long, despite the fact that Alec was called to work, and we dont even know about what. we know they are similarly competitive and have a good chemistry, so clearly this was a good, fun talk; but theres something running way deeper in there, too. magnus is showing alec a lot of himself, and alec is not only welcoming it, but reciprocating it as best as he can. that moment of spark isnt gone; it keeps growing, the bond that was formed gets stronger. at this point, Magnus has fallen (i firmly believe that he fell in that exact moment he looked up at Alec) but it gains shape and strength during that night and talk; its a little frustrating because Alec cant face what he wants, but the pull is real and strong enough for it to get stronger, the shapes clearer.

so- yeah. Magnus fell for Alec in 1.06, the moment he realised that he was willing to have his back, to see him as he was and welcome it and treat it with care; and to give him back in return. Magnus fell for Alec when he realised that, somehow, he had already formed the beginnings of a bond with him - the kind that's solid, that means trust and care and effort while also being easy, fun, nice. alec fell for magnus when he looked at him and saw someone that was also struggling with showing who he was, but who wasnt scared; someone who was kind, and good, and willing to listen to him and try to help him and who valued him. and that is so. fucking. important.

#ask #pastaownsmylife #sorry i got a little carried away but lets be real we all knew it would happen #im emo im dying squirtle #sh #shadowhunters #malec #magnus bane #alec lightwood #meta #malec meta #magnus bane meta #sh meta #overflowing trashcan

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ellana-ravenwood · 5 years

Text

Salt, Tequila, Lemon - Jason Todd x Reader

Please read this intro, thank you very much :

So. I posted this yesterday, but after a bug on the Tumblr app on my phone it got deleted. I’m super bummed out because it had over 200 notes and quite a few feedbacks that I never got to read because it was accidentally deleted...If the people that took the time to comment things on the story could take a bit more time to write a little comment again and give me their feedbacks, and also if the people that liked and reblog could do it once more...i’d appreciate the hell out of you <3. So reposting it (thanks god I always have back ups of all my stories now). Written in twenty minutes during my break at work. Bam. Hope you’ll like it :

Also, since Tumblr’s new guidelines and enforcement of it, I DON’T really appear in searches anymore, so the only way for this story to be seen by others than those who follow me is to reblog it. So if you wanna, you can show your support for my writing by doing just that. Thanks very much. You can find my masterlist here : @ella-ravenwood-archives

_________________________________________________

Ok. So. Grandma’s remedy against heartbreak ? Oh, right.

Salt. Tequila. Lemon.

Got it. Licking the back of your hand to make the salt stick to it, you pour yourself a massive shot of “To-Kill-Ya” in your coffee mug, not even caring about the fact that there is still some remnant of your cappuccino from last night in it.

You focus on the sound the liquid makes as it fills your cup. Makes you think about something else. Good. Yup. This was totally gonna help right now.

“Cheers”, you exclaim to yourself, your empty apartment echoing your voice.

Salt.

Wincing. Stingy. Salt on its own is gross.

Tequila.

More wincing. Oh my god, it burns. The coffee that was still at the bottom of the cup is an oddly nice touch.

Lemon.

The last of the Wincing.

You spit the piece of lemon you just bit into in the trash and…miss. The yellow fruit falls with a little flat sound on the floor, and you honestly can’t bother to pick it up. Your apartment is a mess anyway, so you just stare at it angrily and pour yourself another drink.

Salt. Tequila. Lemon.

You gulp the last of the citrus and shiver. Miss the trash again.

Damn. This was good.

Well, actually, it was disgusting.

You didn’t like strong alcohol and what the Hell ?! Why did you leave a bit of coffee in your cup ? Now that the aftertaste was kicking in, it was actually really gross. If the tequila itself didn’t make you wanna throw up, the stale coffee taste nearly did. Oh, and the salt and lemon combination was as awful as ever.

You really didn’t like salt, tequila, or lemon.

But it was still good.

Because thanks to all this immediate awfulness, you could slowly feel yourself drift into “haze land”, and forget about your worries.

Forget that your boyfriend of two years just cheated on you with some random woman you worked with. Woman that, by the way, he met at the Christmas “end of the year” party from you work you invited him to…You gave him free champagne and mise-en-bouche and all your love, and he broke your heart.

It wasn’t your thing, to drink your sorrow away. And it wasn’t your thing either to wallow because of a man…But you genuinely thought he was “the one” (oh what a mistake you would soon realize that was).

He was always so nice, treating you like a princess. He complimented you daily, and never forgot an important date. He was affectionate, not to an annoying point. He was the perfectamount of affectionate. He was a gentleman and seemed to love you and yet, he betrayed you.

If a man like him, that was nothing short but sweet and passionate with you, cheated on you, then did that mean you couldn’t trust anyone ?

Because in your eyes right now, he was perfect. Albeit said eyes were slightly clouded by a a few tequila shots.

You were downing a fourth drink starting to slowly sob when…

There’s very few things that can get you out of a drunk state in seconds.

An extremely cold shower could do the trick, for instance. Brings you back to your senses a bit you know ? You wouldn’t magically be sober, but you’d get a clearer mind. Or someone giving you shocking news ! Or like, an event so incredible that your body just forgets how drunk it is for a minute.

And this event, for you, came at the perfect time.

Right when you were entering your “sad drunk” phase, which was between the “lol alcohol does NOTHING to me” phase where you downed most of your drinks, and the “dancing on the bar’s counter” phase (a few more drinks and you would have a one woman dance party in your living room, acting as if you were on a bar’s counter and that your name was suddenly “Britney”).

Right when you were about to wallow times a thousand, and cry, and yell “whyyyyyyy ?!” to the sky, arms in the air (drama queen).

Years later, looking back on that particular event, you’ll start to realize that Destiny HAS to exist. Because come on, it was just too perfect a timing to be a simple coincidence.

You were about to swallow up your fifth drink, launching yourself head first into the “sad phase” when an ear shattering noise rang all around your apartment.

Broken glass.

It was the sound of broken glass. Heightened to the max by your drunkness. You turned on your stool, and…there he was.

It was a guy. That you were sure of because he had no boobs and too much pecs. And that guy…well that guy just flew right through your window, destroying it. How rude.

There was glass everywhere.

How much did a window cost ? Probably a fortune.

You wondered briefly if you could just use aluminium foil and tape the shit up. There was nothing of value to steal in your apartment anyway, and if aluminium foil could keep meals warm, it definitely worked with a house too right ?

You sobered up quite a bit, but you were also very drunk when this event happened, so your mind was still in that cloudy weird phase where your priorities were…interesting.

You worried more about the broken window at first, than about that guy who just launched through it.

A guy.

Not just any guy.

You saw that guy before.

He was one of those night vigilante your crazy hometown was filled with…RED HOOD !!

“Thick thighs”, is the first thing you thought right after you recognized him (priorities).

The second thing you thought was that you needed another drink, and so you downed what was your fifth one, but with that crazy thing happening ended up being on the same level as if it was a second one. You were tipsy, but not “drunk” anymore.

The third thing that came to your mind was…Is he still alive ?

No cause, he was like, just laying there, on your living room’s floor, not moving.

“…Outch.”

Oh. He spoke.

So he ain’t dead. Good, means you can have another drink then, you don’t need a clear mind to call an ambulance or something.

Oddly enough, in your half-drunk half-sober state, this sounded completely reasonable. Nevermind if Red Hood had some internal bleeding or something. He talked. He was probably fine.

A minute passed, and you just sat there, sipping up your tequila in between taking a pinch of salt and biting into a piece of lemon.

Salt, tequila, lemon. Great remedy against heartbreaks.

Wait, were you heartbroken ? Really ? You couldn’t really recall that fact now. But, yeah…it was the reason why you were drinking right ? Because right now, all you could think about was the fact that this Red hood guy had abs for days…

This unforeseen event sobered you up quite a bit, but the two shots you just took kinda brought you back to the same state than you were before.

Well. Not quite. You were drunk as hell again, but seemed to have avoided the “sad phase”. Instead, Red Hood bursting quite literally through your window took you to another road.

The : “Cool, I got a drinking buddy phase”. Well, taking for granted he didn’t have any internal bleeding and wouldn’t die while biting into a lemon wedge.

“Tough day ?”

You ask him, as he slowly sits up and shakes his head, trying to regain his senses. He looks towards you and seem surprised (or at least you think he is, because he wears a mask so…kinda hard to tell).

************

Jason definitely thought he was alone in this place, because no sane person would just sit there, not saying anything, as someone simply jumped through their window. Nope, most people would just freak out. Scream.

He knows, because it’s not the first time he falls through a window during a night on duty. And every single time it happened, people freaked out. Screamed. Threw stuffs at him, or hid away begging for their life to be spared.

And yet here you were, half a bottle of tequila in front of you, surrounded by lemon wedges you bit into, and table salt all over your hand, just staring at him curiously. And did you just say : “tough day” ?

Well, Jason guessed the empty half of the bottle was why you were so chilled about it all. He sat up, and slowly got back to his feet.

Usually, going through a window meant the end of the night for him. He’d go back to one of his secret stash, patch himself up and get some rest. Most of the time, he fell through windows because someone pushed him or threw him there…Though today, he just embarrassingly missed a step and fell by himself.

Of course, no one would ever now he tripped while jumping from one building to another (you lived on the last floor) and went careening into your home (and life). Nope, the official story would be that he fought a fierce enemy and was thrown into that window. Finding fake villains name was easy, given how truly ridiculous some could be.

Tim and Damian were still after the “Illusive Blue Man” that he totally made up that one time he walked into a poll and had a huge black eye that he couldn’t quite explain…Oh man, he had to stop telling such elaborate lies and just say “I fought with a few guys last night” without more explanation.

But he couldn’t help it. And those kids believed everything he said, it was too tempting…But for now, this wasn’t the issue. Nope.

He did a quick check of his body and knew he wasn’t really hurt (thanks “dad” for the amazing body armor ugh ?), so he was planning on leaving that poor girl’s house and send a mystery check in the mail to pay for the damage (money stolen from a certain Bruce Wayne of course, as if he would pay himself).

Yup. He was just gonna stand up, and go on his way and…somehow, he found himself sitting on the stool opposite side of this mysterious girl, and now she was peppering salt on his hand ?

“Salt”, she says, and she has a cute drunk voice. Jason almost forgets he just went through a window a few minutes ago.

“Tequila”, she continues, downing her drink and pointing at the one she poured him. He doesn’t even care the she poured it in a cereal bowl that she didn’t even seem to have clean…He drunk worst things in worst recipient. He turns away to take off his mask and so that she can’t see his face, and “bottom’s up”.

“Lemon !” she finishes, biting into the sour fruit and spitting it in the direction of the trashcan but missing completely. The lemon wedge goes to lost itself amongst his fallen brothers…

Jason bites into his own lemons, and spits it. Right into the garbage.

There’s a slight pause, where she just stares at the trashcan, and then at Jason, back to the trashcan, and then turns to him again and simply says :

“Wow.”

************

So. This was surreal.

Here you were. In your home. Taking tequila shots. With…Red Hood.

One of Gotham’s night vigilante. The most violent one. But the dude seemed chilled. He was holding his liquor really well.

And now you were talking about your broken heart, telling him the story as if he’d been your friend for years. And he was listening. Intently. And reacting to what you were saying. It had been a LONG time, since you had this kind of talk with anyone, and despite the fact you were drunk, you still noticed how nice it felt to have someone to talk to. Someone that genuinely listened.

“And then he slept with her !” you say angrily.

“Nooooooo !?!”

“Yes, he did ! He slept with…with…what was her name…”

“Nicole. From accounting.”

“Right, Nicole from accounting ! That bitch ! She always just…counts and shit ! And he slept with her ! Nicole from accounting ! Whom he met thanks to me, by the way ! At a partyyyy !! At my wooooork !!”

“What an ass.”

“Right ?! Oh but he had such a good ass though…Quite firm. But whenever he wore jeans, it was super flat.”

“So, not such a good ass in the end then ?”

“I guess not. You have a good ass. Popping right out in this outfit of yours.”

Red Hood chuckles, and the sound of his laughter makes you forget that you just said something incredibly embarrassing. His voice is…nice. Deep. Manly. You like it. You wanna make him chuckle some more, so you say, hoping :

“And it looks very firm. Not just quite firm.”

It works. He snorts and it’s very cute. Oh wow. He can be sexy and cute. Full package. You smile a bit dreamily.

For a second, he’s lost in that smile of yours, and there’s a silence installing itself in the room. A comfortable one. That you break :

“Ok. So now, he’s not that perfect anymore ! He got no ass ! Penalty points ! I never notice how un-assed he was before…”

Jason smiles and damn. He’s hot.

Somewhere along the way, he stopped turning his face away from you whenever he took a shot, and just ended up taking his helmet off. He was probably hoping that you’d black out or something, so you wouldn’t remember his face (or he just didn’t care).

In any case, you were pretty sure you never saw him before. His face kinda reminded you of an old memory. Of someone you saw somewhere long ago, when you were a kid…Which wasn’t really a big help right ?

Right. You had no idea who he was. And in your drunken state, probably couldn’t piece anything together anyway. So even if you did know who he could be, you wouldn’t know in the end anyway…Makes perfect sense right ?

What you knew was : he’s hot.

This white streak in his hair did something to you that you couldn’t explain. And that jawline ? You would love to get cut on that bitch. It could actually cut a bitch, you were sure of it. Those blue eyes ? You’ve never seen someone with such blue eyes. And did you mention to yourself how muscular he was ? Because man you only saw guys like this in magazines !

But beyond his handsome features, he seemed like a nice guy. Like he was listening to you, a total stranger. And this realization suddenly raised your guard up.

You also thought that your ex-cheating-boyfriend was a nice guy. And come to think of it, who the hell just barge in someone’s home like that, and actually stay to drink tequila shots ?! Wait but…in your guts…it’s not like with your ex.

You don’t think he’s a nice guy. You know he is.

************

There’s a visible shift in your mood, after this realization. So far, you talked to him about your broken heart freely, and he listened.

Oddly enough, no words that came out of your (perfect) mouth bored him. Jason wasn’t sure wether it was the alcohol or not, but you captivated him.

But in a split second, and without him knowing why, your features changed. You were now frowning. Like an unhappy little kid. It was kinda cute, but he didn’t like it because…why were you frowning ?

He tries to lighten up the mood and says :

“Well here you go. See, you didn’t loose the perfect guy, his ass was flat in jeans. Can’t work with that, can you ? I bet we can find other flaws. Make you realize he actually was a looser.”

Your guard is up, but you can’t help but smile a bit, plus you were frowning just now because you realized you just knew you could trust that total stranger, and it was so weird….

Besides, no harm in indulging this, because you’re pretty sure it’ll make you feel better to try and see the bad side of your ex-boyfriend, not just his good ones. No one was perfect. And so, still a bit careful, you say :

“Well…He never got any of my Tv shows or movie references.”

“Well, here’s a point to take off of his “perfectness”. Doesn’t get pop culture references. Deal breaker.”

“Yeah…Yeah you’re right. It is. He also used to hate when I made jokes. I like puns ya know ? Terrible ones. Well, he was always embarrassed whenever I made them in public.”

“Ashamed of his girlfriend, doesn’t sound very gentlemanly, right ?”

“Yeah. It doesn’t. Maybe he wasn’t such a perfect gentleman…He also used to not want to go out with me if I didn’t wear any make-up and was dressed just casually.”

“What you mean, he never just went out with you ?”

“We only went out on dates. I had to dress up. I could be casual home though…”

“Well goodie, the man let you be yourself when you were home. Big deal. To be honest, sounds like a douchey move.”

“That was kinda douchey…I never cared what he looked like.”

And it’s true. For you, physical appearance wasn’t everything. And sure you thought your ex was hot and all, but only because you liked his personality too. You liked his jokes, you were never ashamed of anything he said.

And right now, sure that stranger that bursted through your window was hot, but the reason you felt like you could tell him things was because he just made you comfortable by his mere aura. Because he gave you such a good vibe.

You never were fully about appearances. It was always just a bonus for you…So it never occurred to you why your ex would only hang out in public with you if you were pampered. Like he used to hate when you just wore hoodies and no make-up, even if you didn’t need make-up to be beautiful.

Comes to think of it, he was very much about appearances…Uh. Interesting. You never realized that before.

You turn to Red Hood, and the look on your face says it all. You’re slowly realizing maybe you didn’t just lost “the one”. The vigilante says :

“Ok, so : no ass, no humor apparently, doesn’t get pop culture references, and was kind of a jerk when it came to going out with you…”

“He did tell me often that I was beautiful though. Including when I just woke up from a night out, and was awful looking.”

“Yeah, but he never went out with you looking like that. He shouldn’t feel ashamed of hanging out with you looking like that. Just like he shouldn’t feel embarrassed when you joke. He can be exasperated, like if you really make bad puns, sure. And he can think it’s unfunny…But embarrassed ? No.”

“I guess…I never thought about it.”

“Well let me tell you, as someone who does not know neither you nor him personally, he sounds like a bit of a jerk. Let’s not forget he cheated as well. Like, that’s not something good people do. Especially not with…Nicole from accounting.”

“Nicole from accounting…Yeah. They’re together now though.”

“So ? He should’ve broken up with you if he realized he liked her. That’s the right thing to do. Trust me on that, I put villains behind bars for a living, I know what’s right or wrong.”

“I heard you kill criminals.”

“Used to. I used to kill criminals, I had issues. I’ll tell you one day if you wanna. It’s a real tear jerker story. With clowns and crowbars. And I’m telling you that because I’m drunk, right now. Also, if we want to be specific, I don’t actually make a living out of putting villains behind bars. Like, I don’t get paid or anything…”

Jason finds himself ranting about anything that comes to his mind, and though he hears himself claim it’s because of the alcohol he’s saying all this, he realizes maybe there’s something else making him want to talk.

You. A total stranger he walked upon. Or rather, went-through-the-window upon. Who didn’t freak out when he went through said window. And instead, invited him over to have tequila shots.

Because, according to your grandmother, the best remedy to…basically any problems in life, was “salt, tequila, lemon”.

“She was a wise woman.”

He says, and you turn to him, clearly not understanding what he was talking about.

“Who ?”

“Your grandma. For saying that salt, tequila and lemon was a great remedy against heartbreaks and all.”

“Oh. Yeah. I wouldn’t know, I never met her. She died before I was born.”

“Well what she passed on to your parents is great.”

“What ?”

“Well, that “salt, tequila and lemon” thing, I assume she said that to your mom or dad, and then they said that to you, and then it became your grandma’s advice. Right ?”

“…Nah. It’s an excuse I made up. Whenever I need to justify something, I just say “like my grandma said, ain’t no shame in eating an entire tub of ice cream if you want to”, and then people are just like “oh yeah, cool”, because when you say the word “grandma”, then it gives a perspective to your words ya know ?”

Jason had no idea what you were on about, but he loved it. You seemed to be very smart. And witty. And funny. The hell did that guy cheated on you for ? And why was he ashamed of going out in public with you when you weren’t dressed up ?!

You currently wore “Hello Kitty” pyjamas, had absolutely no make up on, and your hair was a mess, and he thought you looked gorgeous.

“Why are you so nice ?”

Your question takes him by surprise, and for a few seconds he doesn’t register it and just says : “ugh ?”

“To me. Why are you so nice to me ? Is it the alcohol ? Does it make you nice ? Or are you just nice to every stranger ? Every girl you destroy the windows of ? Or are you like my ex ? You seem nice, but then you go off and cheat on your girl simply because you like another girl and you’re too cowardly to break up with your current girl ?”

Jason hiccups slightly, and says :

“No, I’m not nice to any girl I met. I’m actually usually kind of a jerk, too “brutally honest”. But you…I don’t know. You give me good feelings. Oh and here’s to add on his flaws list. “Coward”. Can’t even break up with a girl, has to wait to get caught red-handed and break her heart. Cooooward. Bad flaw. Kind of guy who runs in the face of danger, instead of standing by you.”

It’s probably the fact that he said “you give me good feelings” that spurs this in you. That gives you a new clearer perspective on things.

“My heart wasn’t broken.”

It’s a shock, to you. This realization. This sudden feeling jumping in your face. You…are not heartbroken. You’re mad. You’re frustrated. You feel betrayed. You feel a crazy burning anger towards your ex for toying around with you like that. For not having the balls to just break up, after spending two years together.

He was suppose to know you. To be your friend. Things could have turned out better. He could have just come up to you, say the truth, and…You were pretty sure you’d still be friend. Because he really was a great guy.

He really was all the good thing you though about him. He made a mistake, an unforgivable one in your book. But he was a great guy.

He was just…not your great guy. Not anymore at least.

And you realized, there, quite drunk, that…It was ok.

Your heart wasn’t broken.

Your pride was. Your trust was. But your heart ? …Maybe you weren’t completely in love with him. You were best friends, yes, but love ? Maybe it wasn’t love…

Your heart wasn’t broken.

“My heart isn’t broken.”

You tell Red hood, looking at him right in his wonderful ocean blue eyes. And he looks right back at you, and just nods. Just like that. And then he pours you one last tequila shot.

Because like your grandma would say : “When you make great discovery about yourself…Salt, tequila, lemon”.

************

It took you only a few hours with him to realize that you weren’t in love with your ex, and that was kinda scary. Because this realization didn’t come from nowhere.

Nope.

But when he said that your ex broke your heart, you felt obligated to tell him that no. No your heart wasn’t broken. You were sad and angry, yes, but not heartbroken. For you, in that moment, it was important for this total stranger to know you weren’t actually in love.

Hell, you didn’t even know yourself you weren’t that in love before you talked to him. It just came as a sudden, yet utterly true revelation.

Because, and this wasn’t the alcohol speaking…You felt incredibly attracted to that guy. To Red Hood. Not just because of the white streak in his hair, and the eyes, and smile, and voice, and abs, and thick thighs. That too, sure, but not only…Nope.

Nope. Not because of this.

But because he had a tough day (he said so himself, explaining to you how he went through the window…he was fighting a super-villain when he got flung through your window, tough tough time ahem), and yet he sat with a crazy lady that peppered salt on his hand and practically forced him to take a tequila shot…

Because you could see in his eyes, and felt in your guts that he didn’t have an easy life…and yet he took a break from whatever he was doing to just sit with you and listen to you. He didn’t even make sense, that you trusted those feelings so fiercely. And yet, you did. Because he listened to you.

He saw you were struggling and he stayed. And though you felt you couldn’t trust anyone at that time…You oddly felt like he was ok.

Like he wouldn’t be the kind of guy to cheat, or run in the face of danger, leaving you all alone to fight off demons.

In a few short hours, you fell for this guy more than you ever fell for your ex.

What did that say about you uh ? …That was pretty pathetic…

************

Jason didn’t think that you were pathetic at all.

On the contrary. If he went to seat with you, and drink with you, is because he was instantly mesmerized by you.

And though he didn’t know at first why, now he was sure of it.

It’s because you didn’t freak out. And something told him it wasn’t only because you were a bit drunk (he fell in drunk people’s home before…none reacted like you).

Nope. It was because you were special. He just knew it. Special in every way. Funny. Beautiful. Genuinely listening to him when he was speaking.

He peppered his own problems within your story, as you told him. And you listened. Hell, even referenced a few things he said early on, way later, while you were crazy drunk. You listened.

You gave a total stranger that seemed to have a tough day some salt. And tequila. And lemons.

And then you cared. You asked him a thousand times if he was ok, and he basically had to take off his armor to prove it so (to your eyes’ greatest pleasure…mm mm mm those muscles).

Captivated. He was captivated by you. It was strange, and though he knew it was because you were special, he still was unclear as to why his feelings were that strong.

For someone he just met. And barely knew. And only knew while drunk.

You were just…Special.

************

It was surreal. The all thing.

What started as a night where you planned on wallowing your pain and drinking…ended up changing your life.

And no one could convince you that it wasn’t Fate. Because what were the odds that Red Hood would fall through YOUR window after tripping (yeah you didn’t buy that “fighting super-villains thing” at all) ?

What were the odds of his timing being so perfect, arriving just before you started to cry ? Because there was no doubt in your mind that if he had come a few seconds later, he wouldn’t have stayed.

He would have found a crying mess, and maybe he would have tried to confort you but…You wouldn’t have answered. In your “sad phase”, you only cry and whine. He would have eventually left. And the wonderful talk you’d just have, would never have happened.

But instead. He came right before your lips touch that fatal shot of tequila that would have brought you into the “sad phase”. And took your drunkness down a notch. Rerouted your evening.

You weren’t wallowing anymore, you were ranting.

Sharing your anger and frustration.

And he helped you realize that your ex wasn’t that perfect…That maybe it was just not meant to be…After all, he cheated on you.

Uh. What a shame. You didn’t even know his name…”Red Hood”…

You wished you knew his name.

************

The morning lights were rising, and the bottle of tequila was long gone.

There were still salt and lemons though. For some reason, you decided to buy the entire grocery store’s stock of lemons.

Red Hood stood up, and said he had to go.

He was nice about it. Said it was a pleasure to have spend the night with you. You both laughed about the innuendos that ensued.

You were exactly on the same page. And he understood all your joke referencing to pop culture…

But it was time for him to go. And he apparently had no intention of telling you his real name. He didn’t hint either at ever coming back to see you again.

And there was that. Just a nice night, spend talking to a genuine friend that you’ll never see again.

A genuine friend that you didn’t even know a few hours before.

Maybe it was the alcohol speaking. Maybe not.

And even if you ended up never seeing him again, this evening truly changed your life…At least, it saved you from a heartbreak. Made you realize it wasn’t that.

Though, now, as he climbs out of the window again (he couldn’t possibly use the front door), you feel like the actual heartbreak is starting.

Grandma’s remedy against heartbreak ? Right.

Salt, tequila, lemon…

But the tequila is all gone.

“I’ll send someone to fix that window…Sorry again about that. …Bye.” are his last words, and then he’s out.

And the tequila is all gone.

************

…

Days pass by in a blur.

Salt. Tequila. Lemon.

Ugh. But you don’t want to this time. You don’t want to get drunk to forget.

You don’t want to forget him. And you know it’s ridiculous to get that worked up over a guy you met one night and that will never come back. That you didn’t even know the name of.

This entire night was weird anyway.

Getting drunk with a dangerous night vigilante. Pouring your heart out to him, and him doing the same. The hell were you even thinking ?

Salt. Tequila. Lemon.

That would be a good idea to do this right now, because man…your heart hurt. More than when you discovered your ex sleeping with Nicole. From accounting. But you can’t resolve yourself to drink. To forget. Nope. Instead you…

*Knock knock knock*.

Uh ? You take a quick look at your clock in the kitchen.10 pm. Who the hell is coming at 10 pm ?! It can only be bad news. Especially in Gotham…You peep into the eyehole and…

WHAT ?!

You open your door quickly, and…

“Told you I’d send someone to fix your window.”

It’s him. It’s Red hood. But in…civilian clothes.

His ass doesn’t look flat in jeans.

He’s holding a window wrapped in cardboard, and there’s a toolbox at his feet.

“Yeah, you did…come in.”

************

Jason Todd.

That’s his name. And connections are fast to be made in your brain. Jason Todd. Bruce Wayne’s adopted son. That supposedly died…ten years ago.

And is Red Hood now. Oh. It makes sense. Even his little “killing criminals” thing while Batman never killed. You easily put two and two together.

Red Hood. Jason Todd. Bruce Wayne.

Wow. Can’t believe you never guessed that before. Of course Bruce Wayne is Batman. He’s got the motive, the means, the excuses…It’s so obvious. And yet, you never realized. And no one else in Gotham ever realized.

Jason Todd.

Now you know his name.

And he’s fixing your window. Nobody ever fixed windows for you before (even those who broke it).

Um. To add to the “perfect man” list : “Handy”.

Jason Todd.

He quickly works the window up, and then he turns to you. While he was working you talked, as if you knew each other for years. Joking around. Like old friends. Like old extremely good and close friends.

It fits. It clicks. It’s natural. You and him, him and you.

Barely knowing each others, and yet knowing each others the best.

Jason. Todd.

He turns to you now, and with a smirk, he says :

“Ya know, my grandma always say that when something good happens to you, you need to celebrate. And I feel like this, right now, you and I, though I have no idea what we’re doing and where it’s going…Well it’s still something to celebrate. And she always says, my grandma, that to celebrate perfectly you need…”

You smile.

Yeah. You don’t know where this thing between you two is going, but you do know that you never met someone who so fully understood you.

And in such a short span of time. And you know you’re not mistaking. It’s a feeling too strong to be a mistake.

He came back to fix your window for god’s sake. And trusted you enough to tell you his actual name. Without a second thought. Which meant everything. Especially since from all the hint he let slip through last time you saw each others, about his father, well…let’s just say telling people his real name wasn’t really something he was used to.

But it just works. It fits. It clicks. It’s not like with your ex, because you don’t think you know it does. It just does. The fact that you say those next few words in perfect sync finishes to convince you :

(“…And she always says, my grandma, that to celebrate perfectly you need…”)

“Salt, tequila, and lemons.”

______________________________________________

I’m so mad the Tumblr app crashed and I deleted the original post...Y’all were great and reblogged the hell out of it ! Which is why it got so many notes in such a short span of times. And feedbacks. I haven’t had that many feedbacks on a story in a long time. So just one last time and I won’t bother you with that again : Please, if you enjoyed this story, don’t hesitate to reblog it and share it with others. People who don’t follow me can’t really find my stories anymore so...you’re a big help by spreading them. It’s always very encouraging.

And if you got the time, feedbacks are always hella appreciated and always make my day a little brighter <3.

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theexecutionerssong · 4 years

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Hi Gaëlle, can i ask you something cause im a bit lost rn. So i think my sister is depressed, i thought she was just sad (i mean who doesnt) she often post some sad whatsapp stories at midnight like bad days, survive 2019, everything will be alright, etc and last night she posted john mayer' you're gonna live forever in me screenshot and a quote that goes like 'she was a good girl. I know that she's broke but still beautiful but the world refuse to accept her because she was different. (1/2)

- i wish i thought her illness was true, it wont be like this" a tale of denial people abt mental illness. That was her stories tonight. Idk if she is sad or depressed or it’s clinical depression, bear in mind i live in 3rd world country where we need more awareness and education in mental health stuff. So yeah, i woke up in 4 the morning and im just so lost. Shoud i just text her long ass paragraph abt how much i love her and it’s okay to be different and stuff or should i tell her (2/2 🛫3) That maybe she needs to look for professional and theres nothing embarrassing abt that, cause i bet shes self-diagnosing herself rn. Idk whether her daily behaviour changed or not cause i live in another city atm for study. Now im overthinking everything, like im sure she never made su*cidal stories but did i miss something? Im genuinely scared. Sorry for this long ask, but i already deleted my blog long time ago and i remember that you know stuff abt mental health issues. Thank you gaelle 🌸

Hey darling, this is quite a heavy topic, I don’t know how much I can help or if I’m the right person. My story isn’t everyone’s. Before sending her a long long text kind of out of the blue, or telling her she needs to see a professional, have you tried just asking her how she’s doing? Tell her you’ve noticed her stories lately and that it looks like she’s dealing with some things, and that you’re available to talk if she needs to. Pressuring people into talking is not the right way to go, but reminding them, repeatedly if necessary, that you’re here, that does help even if you don’t see it. I know from experience that being too much at once, too overbearing, can have the complete opposite effect. When I was dealing with depression, my best friend who lived in another city would send me a little ♥ every single day, just to remind me that I wasn’t alone. It was a nice thought, it wasn’t too much, I clung to it, but it didn’t feel like she was cornering me into spilling every bad thoughts in my head either or telling me I was loved because at that time I wouldn’t have believed it anyway and it would have had no effect on me at all. That’s me though, I don’t know about your sister.

The fact that she’s posting those stories means she’s already kind of reaching out, she knows people will see them. She might be waiting for someone to just ask her if she’s okay. I know I used to say I was fine when people asked, but people asked so rarely while actually meaning it that when it happened, even if I lied and said I was okay, it did help me. It reminded me that some people still cared. At my lowest, I would have never in a million years alluded to not being fine. So I think her posting these little calls for help is a good thing. Reach out to her, regularly, not just one massive declaration of love, because what matters is being reminded over a long long period of time that you’re not alone. One text won’t fix everything at once. Be patient and understanding, accept that she might not want to talk, accept that she might lie to you, accept that she might lash out, accept that she might completely break down, be there is she asks for help, document yourself as much as you can about professional options. Just be steady in your support, but don’t be overbearing. Again, each situation is different, but that’s what worked the most for me anyway. And good luck to you and her ♥

#tw: suicide #tw: depression #Anonymous

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afewmarvelousthoughts · 5 years

Text

Stay Ch. 16

Master List

Pairing: Natasha X Reader (Female)

Summary: You have a gift, the ability to see other people’s innermost secrets. For years you used it to gather intel for the highest bidder when you take on The Widow. After she becomes more than a mark the two of you spend years stealing moments. Post snap you wait in your designated meeting place, look back on the sordid past you share with the woman you love and hope against everything that she’s still alive.

Warnings: Angst, and fluff, and feels oh my!

A/N: So yeah I swear I wroth an authors note for this... but idfk what happened.

ANYWAY! Thank you all for being so patient while I got my life together. This one is also short and sweet (guess that’s the mood I’m in). However, y’all should know me by now. This is just the calm before the storm.

Hope you enjoy this one my pumpkins!

Tags are open!

@mywinterwolf @disagreetoagree @breezy1415 @peachthatdrinkslemonade @5aftermidnight@jeromethepsycho @marvel-randomness @daniellajocelyn @katecolleen @yanginginthere@wonderlandmind4 @piensa-bonito @for-the-love-of-the-fandom @lesbian-girls-wayhaught @siriuslycloudy2

March 2007

At some point in the last five months, you’d stopped recognizing yourself. The woman in the mirror wasn’t Y/N. Her hair was different, down to even the eyebrows. Her accent distinctly that of a life long Londoner. She worked for an independent UK couture fashion magazine, chose wine over whiskey, and was distinctly heterosexual.

When the chance to work this job requiring deep cover came up in December you jumped on it. You didn’t want to be you anymore. The you that couldn’t be with the woman you loved. The you that was heartbroken. The you who was beginning to doubt that you’d ever be happy. Fuck her.

Being Charlie Daniels was far better. She was, of course, a real person. Just one who was now living comfortably in the Bahamas courtesy of MI6. Even legit agencies had use of freelance talent every now and then.

Settling into her life had been easy. Not setting her boss on fire or blowing his brains out daily was a different task altogether. Turned out that a magazine was a great front for a crime empire. Lots of international travel, young and beautiful and desperate men and women, money exchanged in countless untraceable ways, on and on. And this fucker was happy to take advantage of every single disgusting avenue it opened up.

You almost had everything you needed to hand to MI6, get your obscenely large payout, and get on to another gig while they threw all of these bastards into cells to rot for the rest of their miserable lives. Just one more trip. After whatever horrible things they lay out in Tokyo you’ll be set.

Tokyo is one of those cities you can lose yourself in. Like New York but better for its interesting balance of vibrancy and grounded reserve. You absolutely love it.

The whole point of the trip, at least on the surface, was to focus on Fashion Week Tokyo. Honestly, there was a part of you that wished this was your world. Nothing but runway shows and after parties. Writing about the latest trends rather than delving into the inner workings of the worlds miscreants

Oh well. It was nice enough to pretend. You had to admit that you’d miss Charlie Daniels once you shed this skin in a couple of weeks.

You’re sitting two people down from your boss at an underground show. The level of security here screams that there are other things going on behind the scenes but it’s still a room filled with a who’s who of the Japanese and international fashion communities.

This was your third show of the day, and you knew there would be a party after where you’d have to schmooze all while plucking information from your unsuspecting fellow guests. You’re exhausted. So rather than pay much attention to the show you let your mind wander.

When she walks out you feel her rather than see her. Slowly you turn your head to stare dumbstruck at the model walking onto the catwalk. Your heart begins beating against your ribs, your mouth goes dry, your hands shake.

It takes every ounce of control you have to keep your emotions in. To not scream “Natasha!” at the top of your lungs. To not grab her and run for the hills. Charlie Daniels and her easy life be damned. It’s hard but you manage.

As she turns and comes back down, passing now closer to you, her eyes don’t graze the crowd at all. Head up, shoulders back, she walks the runway like she’d been doing it for years.

The rest of the show is maybe ten minutes but it feels like years. You know the models are all attending the party. Eye candy for the high end guests.

It’s fairly easy to ditch your coworkers in the crowd as you try to find the best vantage point in the room without being too obvious. After a solid twenty minutes, you find yourself planning an escape route. Most of the models are milling about but she’s no where to be seen. You will find her.

But you know you can’t skip out just yet. At the bar, you order a red wine and make yourself seen. Charlie would never miss the whole party after all. You spend a bit chatting with designers and a few models, feigning interest in the whole thing until you hear your boss call out to you.

“Oy, Charlie!” Carl’s voice alone makes you want to put him down. When you turn he’s waving you over to the bar. Sighing heavily you head over.

You’re about ten feet away when you see her, head back laughing at something Carl or his friend had said. Both men are far to close to her for your liking and the hungry look on Carl’s face sets your blood boiling.

He slings an arm around your shoulders and you carefully coach your face to not show disgust. “Charlie here is my best writer. Doin’ some pieces for us on this whole thing,” he waves his other hand around wildly.

“Good to meet ya, Charlie, I’m Dan,” the other man, clearly American says.

“Likewise,” Natasha doesn’t react to the accent at all.

“This here is-”

“Natalie,” Natasha cuts him off, extending a hand to you. Holding her eyes with yours you take it. It’s like touching a live wire.

“Natalie is an American model working here in Japan. May be a good topic for a piece.” He ribs you leaning closer, “And a good piece for the office eh?” Suddenly that MI6 money seems far less appealing.

“I’d love that,” Natasha beams. “Why don’t you guys go mingle and Charlie and I can chat!” The men exchange a glance, but there’s plenty of fresh meat around to sink their teeth into.

Carl flashes you a greasy smile and a wink as he walks away. Thinking clearly that you’re going to snare this woman for him. You, unfortunately, had a few others. Not something you were proud of. Demands of the job you told yourself.

“She’ll take a vodka neat,” you tell the bartender.

“Yes,” Natasha smiles at him, “Whiskey for her. Makers if you have it.” He thinks nothing of it and makes your drinks.

“So, how’s modeling in Japan?”

“Probably about as good as writing for a sleazy jackal.”

You laugh, “That bad? What’s the goal.”

“Getting a cover,” you commend the clever word play.

“That’s a good goal. Long term?”

“Something like that.” She takes a sip of her vodka, “How long are you here?”

“End of the week.” Your skin itches to touch her. The men are rounding back. You hold her gaze and shift your eyes back to them. She catches on.

“Perfect! It’s so hard to have a good interview here, don’t you think?”

“Absolutely. Why don’t you come by my hotel?” You whip out your spare key card. “I’d love to get your story for the mag, maybe do a full feature.”

“A feature would be excellent exposure!”

“Wouldn’t it?” Carl slides up next to her. “We can get you all the exposure you could want Ms. Natalie.”

“Charlie was telling me all about it.” She flashes him a coy smile. “Thank you so much Charlie! I forgot I have a late fitting tonight for another show so I’ve got to run. But we’ll chat soon yeah?”

“Absolutely! It was so good to meet you Natalie.”

“Same! Bye!” She hurries through the crowded room and disappears.

“Busy girl.” Carl quips. “Whiskey?” You look down at the glass by your hand.

“Some guy sent them over,” you gesture to Natasha’s lipstick stained glass. “Seemed rude to refuse. Can’t stand the stuff though.”

“That’s a mans drink,” Carl laughs at his own perceived joke and you force a smile.

Somehow you make it through the rest of the evening. You’d refused to allow yourself to hope that she’d be here, too obvious to come the same night, better to wait. Kicking off your shoes you head straight to the mini bar and crack open a whiskey, downing it in one gulp.

“You really need to be more careful,” Natasha’s voice comes from the bathroom. “I mean not even checking around. Sloppy.”

“Charlie Daniels doesn’t have to check for Russian assassins in her bathroom,” a smile pulls your face so tight it hurts.

“Well, Natalie Rushman isn’t a Russian spy. So…”

You let your real accent resurface as you pull her into your arms, “Natalie Rushman, I don’t know if that’s clever or lazy.” She kisses you hard, tongue sliding over your lips hands gripping your ass.

“Mmm,” she hums. “Kinda like the accent.”

“Oh?” You revert to the clipped posh Londoner sound. “Would you rather be with Charlie? I hate to break it to you, she’s strictly into dick so you may need to get a bit creative.”

Natasha’s head falls back with laughter, “I’m always into a challenge but,” she cups your face in her hands, “I’d much rather Y/N, she’s got a cute accent too.” Your kiss is soft this time, “I missed you.”

“I missed you too, honey.” Gently you push a strand of hair out of her face. “Is this smart? Are you gonna get-”

“I’m good. I wouldn’t be here if I thought there was risk.” She pulls away and tugs you toward the bed. “There’s no surveillance on me here, I check in every week, that’s it. This is strictly to build a cover.”

“Cover for what?” She gives you a sideways glance. “Right. National security.”

“Do you really want to talk about work?”

Smirking at her you push her back on the bed. “Maybe later.”

You lean down to her but she stops you by planting a strappy heel in the center of your chest. Trailing your fingers down her leg you snag a knife from her thigh holster. Carefully you slide the blade under the straps, the incredibly sharp edge cuts through the thin suede like it’s nothing.

“Those were very expensive you know,” eyes sparkling with desire.

You slip the shoe off and toss it aside. “I’ll buy you a new pair.” Your lips press against her ankle.

Everything in your life until her was so fleeting. Even your own name, the sound of your own voice, who you were… But with her, you were grounded. You weren’t anything but her’s, you were Y/N.

Suddenly you’re overwhelmed. Caressing her muscular calf you just stare at her eyes. Emerald green, dark liner, lids heavy with lust and exhaustion.

“Natasha…” Your voice cracks and you fight for composure.

“Y/N? What is it?” She shoots up, cradling your face in her hands.

You shake your head, unable to really find the words and unwilling to send this storm of emotions to her. “I just…” You cover her hands with your own. It’s not that you don’t want her, you do. But…

“Can we just… I just wanna hold you…” Her expression immediately softens, eyes sparkling a touch with tears. “Sorry… I… I just…”

“I’d love that, baby.” Tenderly her lips brush yours, then your cheeks, your forehead, your eyelids as they flutter closed.

You shed your clothes and crawl into the plush bed. Holding tight to one another you spend hours drifting in and out of sleep, covering the other with soft kisses. Before the sun rises your hands wander southward.

This time you don’t fuck one another senseless. It feels like you’re trying to memorize every curve, every sound, every subtle thing that marks being together. You both know you many not get to do this for some time. The knowledge aches but it doesn’t make having her any less sweet.

Post Snap

You lean your head back on the wall behind the booth. The crying man from last night is gone, you find yourself hoping that he’s resting peacefully somewhere… even though you know it’s pointless to hope for such things.

There are more people filling the bar than there was before. The TVs are off, radios turned up, reporters frantically trying to determine what happened. It was global, that was clear. All planes grounded, trains stopped, communications spotty due to damaged cell towers.

A man speaks frantically to someone who seems to be a friend that he was heading to Nuremberg from Budapest, how the roads are almost not navigable. He doesn’t know if his family is even still there but he has to find out.

Despite his distress, your lips curl a bit at the mention of Budapest.

#natasha romanoff x reader #natasha romanoff #natasha x reader #black widow #queer fic #wlw

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insomnihan · 5 years

Text

han’s Entire Thoughts and Feelings on CLC’s “Devil”

THEYRE BACK SO IM ALSO BACK ON MY BULLS HIT STAYING UP UNTIL 2AM TO WATCH IT AS SOON AS ITS UP aka its TIME AGAIN to be a loud CHESHIRE™ ON TEXT POST

there are no read mores here so ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ its my brand

ALRIGHT SO-

THE SONG IS A FUNKY JAZZY BOP™ AND A HALF its the kind of song you just literally BOUNCE in your seat and make you sway from side to side THAT CHORUS IS INSTANTLY CATCHY AND ADDICTING TO LISTEN TO i love the guitar and horns and that weird laser whistle sound????? so much throughout the song!!!!!!! theres a part that goes ‘i tried to be so polite’ that elkie and seungyeon sinGS UUUUUUUUUUGGGHH THATS SO SATISFYING TO MY EARS THERES SO MUCH SEUNGHEE I NEARLY CRIED SHE SINGS THE CHORUS TWO (2) TIMES HER TONE IS INCREDIBLE AND WHEN SORN SINGS IT AFTER AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA- (THE SECOND CHORUS WITH YUJIN IS FANTASTIC TOO) YEEUNS RAP OKAY LISTEN I LOVE HER RAP BREAKS IN THE MIDDLE OF THEIR SONGS AND THIS ONE DID NOT DISAPPOINT THAT INSTRUMENTAL BREAK PUNCHED ME AND THERES MORE YUJIN AND EUNBIN!!!!!!! THEY KILLED THEIR PARTS THEY WERE SO GOOD!!!!!!!!!!! no im not gonna talk about seunghees breath from the first second we know how i feel

THAT BRIDGE with eunbin and elkie was pretty interesting it stays upbeat and it passes really quickly i dunno why but it felt a little off??? i dunno why??? it just does to me??? i feel like it ends too soon??? just a smidge tho- and it barely makes it to three (3) minutes???? (no is about the same length) but im still BOPPING

sidenote: apparently seunghee mentioned (i dunno where tho) that this song is similar to pepe and that sure is true lmao

THE DANCE remember when i just mentioned how it makes you wanna bounce and sway WELL THATS BC theres a move in the chorus that does just THAT!!!!!! the moment i saw it i copied the move like I GOTTA IN FACT the choreography for the entire chorus is SO fitting like its just lots of hip and shoulder movement BUT it just feels so RIGHT- during yeeuns rap part theres a little bit of a move they did thats similar in their song ME and lowkey i thought that was cool!!

THERES SOMETHING ABOUT that hip move that murders like the way they swivel around first and their hand movement with it and then leading into the side to side just SO SATISFYING TO WATCH especially during the last part in that darker setting!!!!!!!

seunghee starts the dance............................... thanks........ the dancing during eunbin and elkies parts during the bridge was lowkey kinda funny but i found myself following and copying it like sticking my hands out like they did in the video BUT overall it goes with the vibe of the song VERY well!!!!

THE VISUALS the overall video premise reminds me red velvets russian roulette like they are REALLY trying to KILL EACH OTHER IN THIS MV (or at least injure each other) with the soap slipping pushing sorn off that chair dropping that thing on yeeuns head that vacuum literally THROWING DARTS and LIGHTING FIRES and THE MOST DANGEROUS OF ALL....................... stepping on legos.........

SUPER COLORFUL............................ BUT FINISH IT WITH BLACK AND DARKNESS i thought that was interesting LIKE i knew it was coming from the teaser images but i DONT HATE IT the song is called ‘devil’ after all going all dark and lowkey menacing at the end is welcomed here!!!!!! i feel like its supposed to lowkey represent their concepts from debut to now yknow???

I LOVE ALL THE BRIGHT COLORS THO especially the yellows and pinks BUT THEN paired with colors like that blue and green and salmon color or whatever like THAT is just P L E A S I N G™ to my eyes there was ALWAYS a bit of all these colors in nearly ever scene and theres just so mucH BALANCE its pretty refreshing™ if you ask me

BUT THAT ENDING WITH ALL THAT LOWKEY CREEPY (but like not really) PROPS LIKE ALL THOSE BARBIE HEADS AND EYES LIKE THATS AESTHETIC™

SOME SCENES THAT I LIKED AND WANNA MENTION:

FIRST SCENE WITH THE ALL OF THEM AT THE TABLE SURROUNDED BY DESSERTS I WAS HOOKED I KNEW I WASNT GOING TO LOOK AWAY FOR A SECOND

FIRST DANCE SCENE WITH THE BLUE AND PEACH COLOR OR WHATEVER COLOR THAT IS 👌

THE BATHROOM WITH THE HOT PINK WHERE SEUNGYEON AND YUJIN WERE IN and then made her fall over with the soap and seungyeon acted like she was eating it in the middle of a bathroom

THE ROOM SEUNGHEE AND SORN WERE IN WITH THE YELLOW CHAIR (love putting her in yellow chairs i guess) nearly lighting her on fire seunghees face after makes me laugh lmao

THE DARK GREEN AND ORANGE.............................. Y E S

THAT ALL YELLOW ROOM ELKIE AND EUNBIN WERE IN and it contrasted with elkies bright pink dress and eunbins darker outfit my eyes feel so blessed™

THE DARK SCENE LIKE THEYRE IN A HAUNTED MANSION WITH THE FLASHING LIGHTS I LOVE-

I CANT EVEN DESCRIBE IT I JUST LOVE LOOKING AT THEM

(okay but that chair sorn was on only had one leg i just wanted to mention)

AKA I LOVE EVERY SCENE I LOVE THIS C H A O S™

T H E M

OKAY DENIM ON DENIM YOU DIDNT HAVE TO ATTACK ME LIKE THAT™ AND the construction boots????? really?????? in front of my carton of barbie heads?????? YOU ABOUT TO MAKE ME WORK FROM HOME????? why would you do this if you KNOW HOW I FEEL????? but................... thank you i owe yoU MY LIFE- maybe its just me but at the moment ive been really feeling more brighter things so this.................... is some good food and like i know theyre supposed to be menacing but those black outfits make them look like an all-female biker gang more than anything-

also LEGS™

you usually save the best for last HOWEVER SEUNGHEE a whole WOMAN™ SHE REALLY KILLED ME THIS TIME AROUND i mean is there a time she doesnt kill me lets be real FIRST OF ALL BLACK HAIR BUT ITS STILL THE SAME LENGTH THANK YOU that dark green dress just suits her SO well!!!!!!!!!! also i just love green SO CLASSY™ with the headband and black heels pls- THAT light blue denim on denim with black crop top with the little pony tail...................... at ease i LOVE that look on her so much i dont think yall understand!!!!!!! then the BLACK DRESS!!!!!!!!!! the shoulders out!!!!!!!!!!! the thigh high boots!!!!!!!!!! when she does that dance move with her hips her figure accentuated by her belt.................. at ease x2 (also that one second of a scene where shes smiling over her shoulder in the black outfit i just wanted to mention-)

yujin pls that pink plaid outfit with the pink heels with your purple beret youre sO CUTE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! LISTEN that denim with the crop top jacket???? with the orange and pink twin braids I CANT SHE LOOKED SO GOOD WITH THAT OUTFIT ON AND THEN THE BLACK LEATHER (is it leather) and the little two BUNS ON THE TOP OF HER HEAD!!!!!!!! A LOOK™!!!!!!!!!! i just always always think shes just so cute but also so fierce????? it breaks my neck i dunno how to describe it i just really like her face????

SEUNGYEON BETTER LEAVE ME THE HELL ALONE WITH THAT PINK AND GOLD TOP WITH THE BLACK SKIRT STUNTING WITH HER BEAUTIFUL TAN SKIN she looks so so SO GOOD with the short hair BUT LIKE i love that hairstyle in general so thats to the SURPRISE OF NO ONE shes wearing a darker blue denim but i cant understand the shirt??? is it a jacket wrapped around like a shirt??? so the black outfit with the leather shorts and then she threw the jacket at the camera like the Baddie™ she is................ thanks-

must you be so beautiful sorn??? the braids with the clips in the dark denim with the black crop top i cANT- THIS HAIR COLOR IS STUNNING ON HER I DUNNO HOW TO DESCRIBE THAT COLOR BUT IT LOOKS SO GOOD SHE IS SO FINE™ DONT EVEN GET ME STARTED ON THAT YELLOW FIT WITH THE PLAID YELLOW BERET HOW COULD SHE LOOK SO GOOD WITH SO MUCH YELLOW ON????? that black outfit with the single bun on the top of her head and her hair is like super straight and the boots to her knees im SO-

yeeun you always kept your bob pls keep iT FOREVER- the one piece dark blue denim with that big green clip in your hair YOU MAY BE FIERCE BUT JUST LIKE YUJIN YOURE CUTE™ that red dress with the black heels and then they gave???? you extensions???? for your high pony tail with the black bow??? its cute but i mean i feel like that wasnt needed??? it wouldve looked great with just her short hair i dunno fashion FINALLY the last black outfit with the black hat and one glove and black boots that outfit HITS like pls punch me

DOES ELKIE JUST............... HAVE TO look like a princess?????? like she just always looks like a princess i cant explain it!!!!!!!!! SHE JUST FEELS SO PRINCESS-LIKE honestly i feel like its bc whenever they kinda make her hair wavy or something like that it just makes her more classy looking??? the denim two piece and her skirt is actually half light and half dark blue honestly thats a Look™ its cute!!! that hot pink dress with the one sleeve im HERE FOR IT!!!!!! PLS SHE LOOKS SO CLASSY!!!!! the black outfit is just a black dress BUT the black combat boots and her silver accessories like literally kill me with that hammer youre so stunning™-

so we agree that eunbin took that pink wig from jisoo right?? from ddu-du ddu-du?? jk but IM SO GLAD TO SEE HER MORE IN THIS MUSIC VIDEO!!!!!!!!!! WITH MORE LINES!!!!!!!!!! ANYWAY the light blue was fitted rather loosely but it still looked SO BOMB ON HER and her hair was so straight and that really made that whole Look™ that black dress with her kinda messy hair with combat boots while she was vacuuming elkies hair is an ABSOLUTE LEWK™ I LIKE IT A LOT!!!!! but seriously something about that pink bob is like............... im not sure if i like it??? i think i do??? the grey hat and fringe really pulls that whole look together honestly

tldr: *chefs kiss*

LIKE this was their style and sound of music i believe in the beginning and its nice to hear it again in a new way!!!! its fun and the instrumental even after listening to it so many times im still dancing along with it!!!!!!! i slept late as hell (bc yknow i had to watch this mv) and had to wake up hella early but I AM PUMPED FOR THE REST OF MY DAY!!!!! i mean like no which also barely hits three (3) minutes but im sure just like with no im not gonna mind that duration

IN CONCLUSION: MY MOOD WAS LIFTED TENFOLD LISTENING TO THIS I FEEL SO ALIVE NOW

#posting early im busy today lmao #theres are becoming longer as we move along im noticing lmao #i never complain here lmao #literally i NEVER do #clc #not dc #han.txt #han's mv afterthoughts #nvm id rather have a long essay the original looked ugly on mobile

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