#if i had a time machine and were 12% more evil i would go back to 2004 and tell them that ONE of them WILL be successful. not saying who 💙

[grmpgm]

okay but could you guys imagine how funny a northern hues reunion would be

#PLEASE tell me 2023 gg fans know what the northern hues is #but like FOR REAL. could you imagine being one of the other guys like … now #if i had a time machine and were 12% more evil i would go back to 2004 and tell them that ONE of them WILL be successful. not saying who 💙 #game grumps #dan avidan #ninja sex party #danny sexbang #. covering all of my bases here. everybody look at my mediocre posting #honeyposting

[ms-scarletwings]

A Messy, Sedulous Necropsy of Zib Membrane

That’s what we call him right? Not Invader Zib? Hell if I know, we’ll let the tags decide.

Whatever he is christened by his author, enemies, or fans, this titular villain of the Zimvoid is such a mind blaster to me. I wish we had more time with him within the comics. I wish he had been a concept explored in the show. I wish he had a movie. I am having fun with a little hyperbole here, but I truly do find him just as interesting and potentially pivotal of an antagonist as Tak was, if not even more.

Both, of course, were so badly underutilized for sake of the series status quo. To that, Zib was a much bigger threat than Tak, and especially to that of the comics’ own. He potentially changes everything, and somehow absolutely nothing by the end. The TV show always had a more overt tone of cruelty and the macabre floating about its themes. These print issues? I don’t dislike them. It’s still recognizably invader Zim, and the more the merrier, content-wise, but longtime fans can feel that there was this change of essence in the transition. More obviously, in the art, but more subtly, there was an audible softening of that bluntly darker, cynical tone the show was made iconic for. To put it very generally, they lean a little more into the whackiness of this world, there’s a lot more dark comedy to be found in what I’ve seen so far rather than in your face darkness, and in the absence of the ost and voice acting the show accustomed us to, the comics leave a lot more room to be read as you wile. To me, they’re goofier and more episodic in spirit.

This all is not a critique or rating on the comics.. It’s purely, I feel, why Zib stuck out to me all the more jarringly in his context. His reveal was a genuine twist that brought forth stakes higher than arguably any other threat in the entire franchise. He represents a plausible while horrifying prophecy of our main characters if only they made worse decisions. The most interesting of all, for every piece of amazing information he fed to us, he bred dozens more questions about everything than he answered, from Irken machinations, to his ambivalent backstory, to the secrets hidden by the sum of his parts.

Though he was left evidently alive at the end of his story, I don’t see any chance for him making a return, so he is memorialized as another defeated one-off the writers have brisked past and left behind for good. Therefore, I’m here today to take what we got and present it on the metaphorical autopsy table. I want to really pull apart why this character alone pulled me back into the TV series, really just flay open the bits I can’t get out of my own head and dig harder until we find something or we run out of threads to tug at. Starting with the one already hanging out of my mouth, but

• B.E.F

“Bad End Friend” is a term I learned the meaning of within the last 12 hours or so of writing this, and I’m exuberant over that discovery. It’s a niche trope i didn’t know ive been a giant fan of since I was a child. Summed up, fictional characters from beloved media, typically, animated child protagonists… given the worst case scenario treatment. Their “bad ending”, whether that means a corruption arc, demonic possession, a lovecraftIan tragedy… usually something that’s anywhere along the lines of a fate worse than death to a full villainous turnover. As a treat. The concept is strongly associated with fanworks and AUs of popular media, but just as often this is something that becomes explored in the source material as well. A couple great examples I know would probably be Ice Prince Finn from Adventure Time or what happens in Undertale when you decide you want to run the most depraved playthrough possible. From a more mature story, “Evil” Morty is another validly arguable sample.

Besides a bit of a fondness I got going for certain dark or spooky themes in general, what I REALLY love about canonical BEFs the most is their utility as characterization tools. They’re the “having your cake and eating it too” option! The perfect way for an author to explore certain things about any character without actually committing to well… a bad ending.

Almost always, they are necessarily hypothetical or reversible. If they’re not reversible, they go often hand-in-hand with a little universe tampering to make happen. Sometimes, this means the story goes the way of time travel and branching off butterfly effects. Sometimes it means confirming multiverse theory, which can be the same thing depending on your semantical position.

And Zib crossed off the BEF qualifications by far and away. His implications are extremely dark given any pause think about them, and he’s a living, disturbing tragedy in aftermath. If you want to view a rigamarole about that aspect of his characterization as he appeared in the comics, someone else long beat me to that and I’m enthusiastically recommending a peek at their own work. I’m thrilled to do so and build a little upon that with those extended what-if-wonders.

• Lessons From a Lost Episode

Elephant in the room I haven’t seen someone ask yet, uh..

By show rules, isn’t Zib supposed to be a clear case of the writers committing the sin of retcon? By show I’m including the unaired scripts, including “10 Minutes to Doom”. In that one we had what looked like the potential setup for a Zib case, and it was deconstructed across the whole episode.

In short recap, Dib learned the hard and reckless way about the true nature of what Irken PAKs actually are. This is not an inventory bag, it is not “gear”. It’s the actual Irken entity- at least, the primary component.

Detaching it from the organic shell essentially caused a temporary split into two instances of Zim, desperately trying to connect back together under threat of obliteration.

Like let me be very clear about this,

The PAK is an autonomous instance of Zim’s consciousness, and it’s the main one. We’ve seen it act to save his life when his body has been out cold or flatlined, and he doesn’t appear the least bit disoriented or confused once “he” wakes and jumps back into the action. There’s no known separate computer assistant AI or security autopilot in there. That code, that program, IS Zim. As Long as the PAK is active, he is capable of staying fully conscious and able to react to what’s happening around him, and that’s what we’ve been seeing, his own actions.

Zim proved me right when Virooz tried to replace him and detached the PAK. Take note of his phrasing after the chair event™.

“I” activated the protocol. Immediately after Virooz ran off with my shell.

“I” Voluntarily chose to do so.

I don’t remember it playing out like that in “10 Minutes to Doom”.

Attaching to a new host wasn’t the first reflex. Dib was not the least bit aware that that he has literally holding the actual Zim captive in sense, and the latter was fighting like a cornered animal to escape him. Failing that, alongside the distance between him and his original body growing fast, he made a last desperate gambit, and he willingly connected himself into Dib’s body.

I can see why he thought this was better than nothing, no matter how repulsive the notion might have been. If he couldn’t fend Dib off physically, he could incapacitate him in some fashion by trying to overtake his will. Maybe give the shell a better chance to catch up, maybe in the longshot hope of being able to pilot dib in order to become whole with the correct host again. And you can say he succeeded, at least in dominating bodily control away from Dib, but at the cost of his already tenuously held sanity. This could be because of the interference of Dib’s own mind still resisting to fully submit, or malfunctions because of the biological incompatibility; however, the thing that Dib mentally becomes is only the basic idea of what “Zim” is. Instead of remembering it needs to reunite with its shell ASAP, the PAK mistakes Dib’s body for its own and goes through the manic motions of following the Invader mission. And it does this, weirdly enough, with almost no regard for blowing its cover.

When things are set right again, Zim’s later words near the episode ending revealed that he knew that was an unsustainable state.

Such a risk was not just accounted for, he was actually banking on it if that clock had hit zero. If Zim had truly lost, if he was really doomed to meet his end on this nasty rock in the middle of Nowhere, Space, then by every damned circuit in his being, he was going to take down this insolent fool boy and as many other humans possible with him. A dying act of vengeful rage.

• The Exceptional… Exception

Now, wouldn’t all of this be the definitive reason for Zib’s existence to be an aberrant impossibility? Yes, but actually no. Fun thing about multiverses is if something doesn’t work in one setting, you can just tweak a few dials and suddenly you have a world where the impossible becomes possible. But that’s a pretty cheap answer, isn’t it? So, what exactly was that crucial difference?

What happened in Zib’s timeline that went down so, so divergently from the events of 10 Minutes to Doom?

Because the only one who was in any position to explain it for us was Zib himself, and he’s proven to be one of the most unreliable of narrators. It’s as @dana-chan-the-control-brain already spared no effort to demonstrate, when he does tell us something about his past, his story is pocked with contradicting half-truths or outright lies. Ergo it helps to break down each recount of events to pick out the real facts.

Version 1: This is an alternate version of dib who defeated his complementing Zim (logically sensible) and went on to achieve all of the success and respect he sought after in his timeline (absolute bullshit). He kind of gestures and only implies about what has happened to his body while explaining that he came to his current understanding of Irken technology by studying it through Zim’s lab (a partial truth). He lets slip in passing that he has in fact fused with the PAK in order to learn how to alter and reprogram its coding, lessons he has applied to Number 2 in order to have a brainwashed pawn (also apparently true).

Version 2, when cornered and red handed: This is an alternate version of Dib who managed to specifically stop Zim's mission (Again, makes sense) but somehow could not convince the world of his findings or his warnings about the Irken Armada (*VERY eyebrow raising). Frustrated with the people’s lack of cooperation, he decides he has no choice but to physically merge with Zim’s PAK post-mortem (concerning and evidently mostly accurate), dominate the Earth himself, and enslave humans to help him in his efforts (highly troubling and probably true). The construction of his EMP super-weapon is successful, but ultimately led to the creation of the Zimvoid when the device was field tested (self evident, absolutely horrifying).

You know what I noticed was missing from both of these accounts? Exactly how his Zim was defeated. Which honestly could have been some beyond useful wisdom to pass along to the main Dib??? More than anything else? I’m not going to fault our boy for not pressing that matter better under the awing circumstance; however, there’s an implication I’ve been reading between lines. 

When Zib mentions “defeating” his own Zim, he’s talking about something different than ours.

When our Dib has always talked about “defeating” Zim, he’s meant incapacitation and capture. Throughout the show he explicitly wants to present Zim before an audience alive and whole. Yeah, he fantasizes about other people torturing or disassembling him for study, but HIS role was supposed to be reaping the fame for an undeniable, ground-breaking discovery. Conspiracies and cryptids are all this kid breathes and lives by! And as long as pop culture has always been fascinated with the paranormal, and he has to know this full well, people keep bringing forward hoax after hoax after scam. I mean there’s a freaking current one or few still going IRL about this exact topic. Dib would want no room left for being dismissed as another one of those con artists. 

Nonetheless, I actually doubt this is the reason Zib couldn’t get through to the scientific community. A genuine alien lifeform, even a dead one, could still be confirmed by any basic medical examination. The world thinks Dib is too crazy to listen to, but his father is still Professor Membrane. In "10 Minutes to Doom" OUR Dib got as close as having Membrane literally analyzing a PAK, or at worst, preparing to. “Ultimate Dib” gets his hands on the same thing and pulls a move I’d expect from an HP Lovecraft Protagonist instead.

We’re assuming way too much to what these two Dibs have in common, because this ^^^ is really what made the Zimvoid an outlier in the multiverse. That world didn’t only have a very different, more threatening Zim from the main timeline, it had the Dib who proved even more formidable, cunning, and ruthless, even before the fusion. 

He didn’t obtain that PAK ala the “10 minutes to Doom” accident, it’s a personal trophy. This is extra strange remembering that capturing an Irken is realistically more easy than killing one. They’re seriously more tenacious than kudzu and will even fight back in PAK form alone. I’m convinced that whatever sort of final showdown made the Ultimate Dib the victor, there are two optional endings on the table.

Option 1: There was not a body even left intact enough to bring in to research. Maybe Dib’s fault, maybe an accident, maybe even Zim’s own luck running out and his incompetent antics finally swallowed him (and possibly GIR). This theory assumes that the PAK was the only sort of remains to come into Dib’s recovery/possession.

Option 2: Curiosity Killed the cat,

but satisfaction brought it back.

Or, the one I personally headcanon. Dib… all Dibs, I assume, don’t just hate the Irken species. They are mesmerized by them, and all that they represent from his perspective. Firstly, the epic villain he gets to roleplay nemesis to in order to feel his own worth and importance. Secondly, an unknown wonder from beyond the boundaries of the cosmos. He’s not really a ghost buster or a Men In Black agent at heart, but a scientist, like his father. Underneath his contempt for Zim’s plans to destroy the world is a genuine and appropriately childish awe for alien presence, especially for Zim’s technology. His silent, dopey smile when Tak’s ship ended up in his backyard said more than words ever will.. 

Earlier in the show, a great deal of Dib’s time and effort was spent on trying to infiltrate the lower levels of Zim’s base. Sneaking into the house was hard enough, but the computer security can’t be bypassed like the gnomes. Not even by Zim himself unless he really is all himself. Perhaps you’re starting to sniff where I’m going with this one when I refer back to “Bolognius Maximus”. I’ve another reference that’s a little more on the nose, and a lot more… dark.

Were an expired Irken husk before you, you too might take your victory and cash in then. Still, who knows what sudden impulse may run through the head of a less humble version of yourself, one some could call greedier, obsessive to a fault, a screw or two loose, yet, a hell of a smart cookie. Smart enough to see it for what it actually was, the keys to a whole world of discovery that went so many layers deeper than they could ever imagine. It’s possible the Ultimate Dib already learned beforehand the same hard lessons about the PAKs that our own did, and took that understanding toward not repeating the same mistake this time. What happened to Zim? I think he was murdered in cold blood, body, and entity. “10 Minutes to Doom” showed us a fight between 2 brains clinging to one body, struggling until one overpowered another, but that’s not what this is. Through whatever means of science were available to him, this Dib has probably tried to “disarm” the technology by either erasing Zim’s consciousness out of it altogether, or by forcing the autonomous code into a kind of dormancy. His intentions were to render it back to its basic hardware without losing its precious knowledge and usefulness, something like the brain-filled tank that was wired into Skrang’s head. Zim’s PAK doesn’t cling onto his body like a parasitic teratoma this time; it’s merged in a literal sense with his nervous and circulatory system. As well, he has fooled the device’s ability to detect and reject a foreign host shell, the exact same way he deceived the the base’s security AI. If an Irken biology is what these measures authorize to command them and their secrets, then he had the tools on hand to give them just that- in an atrocity I like to call

the darker harvest.

Within this theory, there is not as much room to wonder exactly what became of Zim’s organic remains. 

But where Dib fucked up was, for the second time, in his ignorance to the true nature of what he was even playing with. That was a mistake that even the mighty Elder Brains of Judgementia lost themselves to; How much more vulnerable was the weak, human mind? Though Zim can be devoured, he can never be digested. In that fact was born this aberration against nature, sanity, and humanity alike.

"Have you ever heard of insect politics? Neither have I. Insects… don't have politics. They're very… brutal. No compassion, no compromise. We can't trust the insect. I'd like to become the first… insect politician. Y'see, I'd like to, but… I'm afraid, uh… I'm saying… I'm saying I - I'm an insect who dreamt he was a man and loved it. But now the dream is over… and the insect is awake." - Seth Brundle, The Fly, 1986

By fusing what is half-mad and what is utterly mad, neither being was cured, only assimilated into the birth of a new madness. The madness of the creature that snickers behind the curtain in the Zimvoid. I rightfully fear that lonesome thing, but not I think as much as I pity him.

• Dejavu, or Re:Plagarism

One more thing about the Zimvoid arc I find curious is the way it makes you question more and more just how much of the aberration is actually still Dib, and how much of it is Zim's infection haunting him. He does nothing with all of his intellect, his resources, and his time in the void doing anything but surrounding himself in everything he claims he despises. He decries alien tyranny in one breath while lording over a homemade, cruel dictatorship in another. He calls for eradication of the very race who's technology and physiology he has thoroughly appropriated. He laments feeling unable to protect the Earth from the Armada alone, yet sneers literally through Irken teeth to insult humans as inferior and of no value to him any longer. Our Dib spent the whole damn show longing for the support of other people, but Zib pushes away potential allies in his arrogance. His broken timeline never became a Dibvoid instead because while only half of his mind can't stand Irkens, both of the souls inside him remember that they loathe and look down upon a Dib, deep inside.

The corruption goes as far as even subverting his own creativity. None of Zib's plans are wholly original. His anti-Irken weapon was already a concept blueprinted inside of that PAK before the merge. Our Dib has several times shown a propensity for some DIY ingenuity, sometimes dipping a toe into the supernatural. Zib entirely calls upon, scavenges and regurgitates Irken designs with a few modifications or upgrades. The Dib Virus, I think is his most uninspired creation yet, for it's original form was always something inside of Zim, even if the latter himself was not aware of the fact. Like all else, it is a weapon he has plundered, customized, and turned around on everyone else for his own selfish ends. This brief point I will end on one  more reflection. The one kind of help Zim ever allowed at his side were the likes of GIR and his own creations. Unable to connect and cooperate with his peers and own kind, his ego preferred to be around those defective machines he related to- drones to be owned by him and always loyally at his beck and call. A slave to admire him unconditionally is the only companionship he's ever been willing to admit to desiring.

And what was Number 2's purpose again? What role exactly were the arena combatants auditioning for, when you think about it?

#iz #iz comics #zimvoid #dib membrane #iz zib #iz headcanons #invader zim headcanon #zib membrane #iz analysis #invader zim #iz comic spoilers #iz theory #scarlet talks about things #long post #absolute ramblings i mean holy crap #longass post

[typically-untypical]

The Saint and the Manipulator

AU: Vampires

CW: Biting

WC: 1,962

Date: 12/14/2023

"Look at him Jannie, he just looks cute enough to eat," Patton cooed, watching the man at the bar mixing drinks for other people. His fingers were long, almost spider like and his shirt was wide enough at the neck to show off his warm flesh.

"Patience," Janus hissed, drawing a line from Patton's neck to his chin. For the past few months he had been talking with the bartender, slowly getting him to open up to the ideas of the occult. It hadn't been hard, Virgil was apparently an avid conspiracy theorist and so when Janus started spouting off about Vampires, the bartender had listened with rapt attention. Everything working out in their favor, Janus was enjoying Virgil's company and Virgil seemed excited by the possibility of something so macabre. It had been a long road preparing the human, but everything was going according to plan. Janus had to move one more piece into play, Patton. His husband was a joy and a sweetheart, full of wonder for the world around him. Unfortunately, as a vampire, Patton had a thirst that couldn't be satiated. Unlike most stories, vampires weren't reckless killing machines, at least not all of them. Much like humans, they had the capacity to be evil or kind and though Janus didn't believe such labels were helpful, he did hope others understood, as a human he could be far crueler than he actually was. Patton, on the other hand, was far kinder than most humans Janus met.

"Oh I hope we get his consent, I would love to have him as part of our family."

Patton was probably a big reason why Janus was the way he was. Being such a kind and open hearted man, even as a vampire he wouldn't drink from someone he didn't have permission from. The first time he had drank from Janus he had begged, pleaded in a dark alley. Janus had only been so gracious to shut him up, but when Patton had finished drinking the smile on his face had been captivating. He had complimented Janus' health and given him advice for his future. It had been such a strange encounter that Janus had gone back again and again until they were linked. Vampires could get blood from any random humans, but it wasn't nearly as fulfilling as blood from someone bound to a vampire. If a human agreed, their soul could be intertwined, giving them the life span to stay by the vampire's side while also promising their health to the vampire. This bond was a neigh unbreakable, which meant one couldn't go into it lightly. Janus had given his life to Patton over a century ago, but Patton's hunger continued to grow. This was his way of helping his husband. He had been laying the groundwork to woo the bartender. He would later take on the role of manipulative villain, but he would do anything for Patton's sake.

"Last call, you two," Virgil said, walking over to their table and leaving the bar unattended. It seemed like most of the regulars had already cleared out leaving only a few stragglers behind.

"I think we're good in terms of alcohol, but might we have a conversation once you're off work? Patton and I are curious about a few things." Not a lie, not the truth.

"Oh, so this is the infamous Patton," Virgil held out his hand. "Jay has told me a lot about you, give him a few drinks and he actually can't shut the fuck up about you. I've been curious." 

Patton giggled, covering his mouth to hide his fangs. "You are a sweet talker. He has mentioned you a lot as well. I think he and I are going to have to have a stern talking to because he undersold how pretty you are."

Virgil blushed, heat and blood rising to his face. "Well, that's good to hear. I have to start cleaning the bar, but I'll tell the others you're walking me to my car, that way they should leave you be even after we close."

"Thanks Kiddo." Virgil raised his eyebrow at that but didn't say anything as he started walking away.

As soon as he was out of earshot, Patton grabbed Janus' leg trying to control his obvious giddiness. "He's handsome, and that voice, and that smell." Patton seemed to melt a bit and Janus wrapped his arms around his husband, pulling him close. 

"Yes, I'm aware he's pretty. I figured he was just your type."

Patton giggled, "Why because I like dramatic emos who hide their true feelings with sarcastic quips?"

Janus pretended to look offended as he put his hand to his chest. Patton only laughed, leaning up to kiss Janus' chin. "I love you," he whispered.

Janus would never admit that he melted a bit too, returning Patton's kiss. "You are too saccharine for your own good." He kissed Patton's neck, desperately trying not to be obvious about their love and affection for one another. He didn't need Virgil's coworkers to think they were sketchy, lecherous, or anything of the sort. They needed to be seen as a good couple, and good tippers.

It was less than an hour before Virgil and the others had the place cleaned up and shut down. He started walking toward them and the two got out of their chairs, putting them up on the tables like they had seen the others do. 

"So, what is it you wanted to talk to me about?" Virgil asked, after walking them both out locking the door behind him. "You're not going to proposition me into your harem are you, Jay?" He asked teasingly, causing Janus to roll his eyes. That wasn't what he was planning on doing but he also understood that it almost seemed like that was exactly what he was doing. He was asking Virgil to potentially be a blood donor for Patton for the rest of his life, but all in due time.

"Actually, I wanted to tell you a secret, Pat, darling, would you like to show him your teeth?"

Patton looked to Janus for confirmation before he opened his mouth, allowing his fangs to slide out. Virgil's mouth fell, and he floundered for words. Janus let him process, making sure that he and Patton were at least 5 feet away so Virgil could feel like he could escape. No one could truly escape a vampire, but Patton also wasn't a hunter.

"Alright, so those are either really expensive, or..." He looked at Janus as if hoping to hear that it was all a lie, that Janus was playing a prank. 

"I am fully human, but my husband..." Janus allowed his sentence to taper off, allowing Virgil to fill in the rest. 

"He's a vampire, and you... you knew?"

"That's why I was so knowledgeable about them." Janus pulled Patton into him and as expected, Patton nuzzled his neck gently. "You're not in any danger from him, Patton is very sweet and never drinks from someone unless he has permission. However, it is an experience."

Janus watched as Virgil swallowed, looking over to his car before taking a step forward. "So vampires are real? You aren't just fucking with me? You do seem to like to do that." Virgil countered and Janus nodded.

"An unfortunate trait of mine, but I'm sure Patton would be happy to demonstrate as long as you don't mind watching. It can get a bit... intense." There was a bout of silence, the three of them standing there waiting for Virgil to make a move. Finally he nodded.

"Yeah, yeah, okay. I need to see this to believe it."

"Are you sure kiddo? You don't have to believe if you want. You could pretend it was a bad dream and go on with your life."

At Patton's suggestion, Virgil shook his head furiously, something Janus also expected. Virgil had anxiety and though he managed it well while he was bartending a discovery like this would haunt him for the rest of his life if he didn't verify it was fake. Then again, finding out it was real would most likely shake him to his core. He would come to them more often for comfort and Janus and Patton would both be waiting with open arms; Patton because he was kind, and Janus because he knew it would be a way to get Virgil to trust them. No other reason.

"Alright, if you're sure." Janus felt Patton shift, hands gently wrapping around his face was Patton looked at him. "May I?" He asked in the sweetest voice. He always started this the same way and it felt like a ritual at this point. 

"Always," Janus whispered in response, getting to see Patton's soft shy smile before his head was tilted to the side. Patton didn't just sink his teeth in. He kissed at Janus' neck, sucked a small bruise on the crook to bring the blood to the surface. Then he bit down. It was a brief moment of pain followed by a flood of endorphins. He felt like he was floating, like the whole world disappeared beneath his feet. Janus reached out for Patton, clinging to his arms, fighting the sounds that desperately bubbled from his chest. He was partially aware that Virgil was still here, was still watching them and that was not the thing to think about right now. He moaned out the bartender’s name softly before Patton pulled back, kissing his neck and sealing the wound. He left only a hickey behind. 

Vaguely, he could hear Patton speaking and Virgil was saying something as well. This had been the risk of going this route, letting the two of them talk alone. However, if Patton and Virgil were going to fall in love they needed to actually like each other. He was being swept off his feet, cradled in the strong arms of his husband. 

"Let me walk you to your car. If you're okay with it, we can talk more tomorrow?" Patton was doing great. He had managed to get them an invite back. Virgil wasn't running away. Janus knew he probably needed to stay awake, to do everything he could to manage the situation, but his head felt heavy. Patton's venom was still coursing through his system, desperately pulling him into a relaxed state. Elevated heart rates meant more blood, but it also meant a higher chance of someone dying and though there were enough humans now that culling the population wouldn't have a dramatic effect, that hadn't always been the case. 

Janus had done the research, Janus knew what was needed to keep Patton safe, to keep him healthy. Janus knew why things were happening, but he couldn't access it all his brain was too fuzzy. 

"This hit you hard didn't it?" Patton whispered, "Seems like you enjoyed someone else watching you feed me." He sounded more lucid and Janus felt himself falling closer and closer to sleep. "I do really like Virgil, but I think maybe you like him a bit too." Janus felt a slight kiss on his forehead and the warmth of a blanket being pulled over him. "At least I hope you do. You deserve to have a life's companion as much as I do. I'd love to build a little commune where you could have more friends, more family." Patton pushed his hair away from his face before laying down next to Janus. 

"Rest, it's okay, honey. I can take over from here. You've done such a good job but it's my turn to care for you."

Janus finally relaxed, allowing sleep to take over. This was why he loved his husband. He was too kind for his own good.

@tsspromptmonth

#TSS Rare Gifts Month 2023 #Untypical Creations #Sanders Sides #Sanders Side fic #Fanfic #Patton Sanders #Virgil Sanders #Janus Sanders #moceit #future anamoceit #Fictional Biting

[yellowhollyhock]

Rise Donnie: Do you know where your wallet is?

03 Don: Probably somewhere within time and space.

87 Donatello: Unless of course it got caught mid transport in the nonspace that allows us to travel between dimensions!

03 Don: In which case it’s only within time, surprisingly.

IDW Donn: We have proven by extensive experimentation that time does pass in the nonspace between dimensions.

12 D: It’s the reason that in spite of our portals, we haven’t been able to build a time machine.

Rise Donnie: Haha it was a trick question! You do not know where your wallet is for I have stolen it!

03 Don:

Rise Donnie: … Here is your wallet back.

12 D: Robot fathers keep an eye on your babies, child murderer just walked in.

03 Don: I wish you guys would stop doing that. I felt really bad, okay?

Rise Donnie: I’ve programmed Shelldon with semilethal lasers adjusted to your specific atomic frequency and set to go off if you come within ten feet of him.

03 Don: I told you, it was an accident, and he ended up being okay. We were just trying to trap him—

12 D: You literally tracked him down with intent to harm.

Rise Donnie: Oh so you’re not a child murderer, just a child kidnapper!

03 Don: To protect the city! He had a really evil dad!

IDW Donn: I had an evil dad. Would you kill me to protect the city?

03 Don: that’s not—!

IDW Donn: Because I was a robot for a while you know.

12 D: So in conclusion, cereal is a soup only insofar as it served with milk. Cereal served with energy drinks qualifies only as an abomination.

IDW Donn: An abomination in which we fully indulge, of course.

12 D: Of course.

Rise Donnie: And don’t forget cereal eaten dry which would be most closely categorized as a salad, implying that trail mix is also a salad.

87 Donatello: Personally, I prefer both as a pizza topping.

03 Don: But you guys are avoiding the important question: what kind of cereal?

Rise Donnie: Evil science is more fun!

03 Don: Donnie no

12 D: All science is morally neutral. Donnie get down

IDW: Actually I disagree, there are some definite exceptions. Not the stove Donnie

12 D: Okay, well, there might be evil methodologies—

IDW: Isn’t methodology a pretty key part of it being science? You’re saying thought experiments are morally neutral.

12 D: No I’m saying knowledge is morally neutral.

03 Don: I don’t know guys, I just think science should be used for good.

87 Donatello: Don, you’re absolutely right! It’s impossible for science to be evil. The pursuit of knowledge itself is always a net positive which makes it unequivocally morally correct in all circumstances. It’s right up there with the power of friendship.

03 Don: … I’m not sure how much you agreeing with me helps my case.

12 D: No, no, he makes a compelling argument.

87 Donatello: Of course, I’m the expert. Anyway it’s been fun fellas, I’ll catch you later. Donnie and I are off to build a machine that automatically zaps anyone who insults us and brainwashes them to love us. I know, I know, you’re jealous you didn’t think of it first. If you’re nice to us maybe we’ll share. If you’re not, well, you will be soon. Ciao!

Rise Donnie: I got the parts we needed thank you for distracting them~

#tmnt #tmnt multiversal hangouts #2003 donnie #2012 donnie #idw donnie #rise donnie #1987 donatello

[doctorofinhumaneletters]

First Steps

by the Doctor of Inhumane Letters

Chapter 1

Thursday. Red day.

The red box in the breakroom fridge already lay ransacked, and Friday’s clear box was still at home. This week Ashlee was trying baked chicken thighs. Half a dozen chicken thighs were about ten bucks. One she ate Sunday night, to make sure her recipe worked, then packed up five copies for the week. Today, though, might be a two-lunch day. The call with mom had interrupted breakfast.

“ Hey honey, I just wanted to say hi.”

“Hi, mom. I’m just getting ready for work.”

“What’s on the menu today? Did you get those chicken recipes I sent you?”

“Yeah, they’re great. I’m trying one every day.” Technically true. Trying one. Every day. But it made mom happy to hear, even if it did elicit two minutes of food reviews. Ashlee watched the seconds march past on her watch.

“What are you doing at work today?”

“Oh, we have two bids due today for the Interior Department. We’re just finishing them up.” That was what Stetson Logistics’ Deputy Chief Counsel was up to today -- renewing a 90-day contract for stationery at a Bureau of Land Reclamation division. Mom always liked to hear the full name of the Cabinet office, the same way Deputy Chief Counsel sounded like a good job for a University of VIrginia law grad. More so, at least, than one of two lawyers churning out boilerplate for paper and toner to feed the Federal machine.

8:05:30, 8:05:31, 8:05:32 … flashing remonstrations growing ever more urgent. She couldn’t concentrate on leaving with mom on the phone. 10 minute walk to the train station. The timetables scrolled through Ashlee’s mind. The burbling stream of mom’s chatter was incrementally sweeping away breakfast options. There’s still time to buy a sandwich and coffee. Flash, flash, chatter, still time if there was no line and she ran. She was counting down to grab and go coffee when it came.

“So, any news on the marriage front? Have you met anyone special yet?"

Ashlee tensed up. She knew this question was coming. "Uh, no, Mom, not yet," she said, trying to sound casual. At least this signaled the imminent end of the conversation.

"Well, you know, dear, you're not getting any younger.”

“Thanks mom. Neither are you!” Like the preamble on one of Stetson’s contracts, this little back and forth almost always passed between them. The call had wound down and Ashlee had left with time for coffee, and a roll if the line was short.

It was never short. Coffee had clawed at her empty stomach. She'd wolfed down lunch in the breakroom before ten, and her crossed eyes struggled for a foothold on the bid she was reviewing. If she hurried, she could get out for her actual break. She was leaning back rubbing her eyes when Sarah crossed over from Admin.

“Hey, Ash!”

“Just 15 more minutes, Sarah. I’m making myself finish this before lunch.”

Sarah dismissed this with a wave of her hand. “Every secretary at BLR has the flu. If we sent it today, It would just sit in the inbox and we’d never see it again. This is just a social call”

“Well let me finish so it can sit in yours.” This sneaked out with more acid than she intended. Ever since college, Sarah had been able to carve out chat time.

“Screw you, Ash!” laughed Sarah. “What’s eating you?”

“Mom again,” Ashlee sighed. “She hosed my morning.”

“Did the ‘M’ word come up again?” asked Sarah, coming right to the point.

“Of course.”

Sarah smiled evilly. “Just tell her you’re gay. That would put a stop to it.”

Ashlee grimaced. The vision of that conversation played on fast-forward behind her eyes. “If I tried it, she would dig in. When she found out I wasn’t joking, she’d rip me a new one, then she’d never talk to me again.”

The smile grew eviller. “Sounds like it would solve all your problems, then.” Ashlee opened her mouth to snap back, but Sarah filled the space: “Let's get out of here. Nothing’s going on.”

"Are you serious? It's almost … Jesus, it's 12:45 already! God, I'm starving!"

"I'm getting my purse. Come on, girl!"

Ashlee finished the bid. It actually only took ten minutes, and five of those were accompanied by Sarah staring out the window and swinging her purse in a meaningful manner. It was a clear, bright day in Washington, and if work was coming to a standstill at Stetson, Sarah's impatience was understandable. All things considered, Ashlee could just about justify a late lunch.

The elevator carried them down the three floors to where it disgorged the pair onto H Street. Sarah strode purposefully up the sidewalk, half a step ahead of Ashlee. She and Sarah knew that Ashlee had a hard time saying no to Sarah, and they had agreed years ago that Sarah would limit how many times she dragged Ashlee somewhere. Consequently, when it happened, Sarah was serious about it.

Sarah followed her phone into a hole-in-the-wall Greek place, with Ashlee still trailing a close third. A tall, slim, dark girl waved them to a table. Ashlee’s finger trickled down the menu till it found moussaka. She pointedly laid the menu down, folded her hands over it, crossed her legs, sat up straight and fixed Sarah with a stare.

Rather, she tried to. Sarah’s right hand was languidly holding her menu, while her left hung by the pinky nail from her teeth. Her eyes were scanning the middle distance over Ashlee’s left shoulder. Oh, no, thought Ashlee, she’s planning something.

Ashlee guessed right. Apropos of nothing in particular, Sarah, asked, “You wanna get laid?”

Briefly taken aback, Ashlee rallied. “With you? No way!”

No reaction. Still chewing her pinky, Sarah inclined her head forward slowly, eyes still tracking something behind Ashlee.

“Her.”

Risking a glance, Ashlee saw the waitress. She was bussing tables, but she took a moment to smile back and gesture “one minute”. “Sarah!” hissed Ashley. “Are you crazy? Is that why we’re here?”

“Yeah.” Her hands dropped and she leaned in. “That girl is a catch. Sweet as soda pop, tall, skinny, pretty, and one thousand percent gay, I'm sure. I almost wanna fuck her myself.” She thumbed her phone, and a moment later Ashlee’s buzzed. “When she comes over here, you are going to say that.”

Ashlee read the text. “No goddamn way!” But she knew it was hopeless. She had followed Sarah’s smirk to dozens of clubs, camping trips, and a host of other places she hardly ever regretted. Sarah’s ideas usually turned out mostly fine, even though this one might be a little rich for her blood. Sarah leaned back, and the smirk was there again, declaring her triumph.

Only seconds remained to prepare. If she was going to do this, she had to go in full throttle. The girl came up. The nametag read “Felicity”. Ashlee mustered up all the charm she could and smiled at her.

"Hi, um Felicity, I'm Ashlee. Can I ask you a question?" she said, trying to sound as casual as possible. She avoided the glare she knew was coming from Sarah.

Felicity looked at Ashlee with a curious expression. "Sure, what's up?"

"I was just wondering if you could recommend something on the menu. I'm in the mood for something light and refreshing, something I can really get my tongue around .”

Time froze. Sarah was quivering with anticipation. Felicity’s tan face was brightening in a blush. Ashlee had never prayed so hard for death.

#lgbtq #romantic #hallmark ready

[cozycryptidcorner]

I know you're going to think I'm trolling but I genuinely don't understand what you want me to apologize for?

-The "Rogue" "Christian"

Ok. I’m going to take this seriously because I used to be a Christian, and idk if you’re acting like this because you’re so gung-ho about Christianity and think it’s leaders are always right regardless of their actions on earth or you’re struggling and something I said made you very uncomfortable with how you handle faith.

So I’m going to tackle this from your worldview. Idk what denomination you’re from, but my extended family is Methodist/catholic and my mom was baptist before she married my stepfather so I have a pretty good handle on the small differences.

anyone who isn’t christian who is interested in this kind of stuff should read too.

Firstly, your initial message was sent in defensive anger. And I do get it, when you see something that challenges your entire worldview it can be pretty shaking. But you did accuse me of being anti-theist when I pretty much explicitly said I wasn’t (i’m pretty cool with most pagans, and they’re polytheistic), meaning you didn’t read my whole post. And I wasn’t sure what angle you were originally coming from, because I do get the occasional troll from time to time.

So I did joke about it, because I was raised in a fundamentalist branch of christianity which is rich in purity culture. And even if you aren’t subscribed to purity culture, most sects of christians (baring most progressive christians) believe that any form of sexual content before marriage, ESPECIALLY pornography, is still a form a sexual sin that muddies your soul. Even the bible talks about “sexual immorality,” so you can’t really blame it on our differing denominations:

1 Corinthians 10:8: Flee from sexual immorality. Every other sin a person commits is outside the body, but the sexually immoral person sins against his own body. 

2 Corinthians 12:21: I fear that when I come again my God may humble me before you, and I may have to mourn over many of those who sinned earlier and have not repented of the impurity, sexual immorality, and sensuality that they have practiced. 

Revelation 21:8 But as for the cowardly, the faithless, the detestable, as for murderers, the sexually immoral, sorcerers, idolaters, and all liars, their portion will be in the lake that burns with fire and sulfur, which is the second death.” 

etc etc i can pull so many more out of my ass because i was forcefed this shit until my eyes bled. 

So a christian being mad that a monsterfucking PORN blog they’re following that’s run by an openly queer person was talking shit about them is inherently funny to me. Because even if you, an adult, was following a blog with adult content, it’s explicitly forbidden in your own religion. Also like, sure monsterfucking wasn’t in the bible. But if I had a time machine and I could bounce back a couple thousand years to ask paul what he thought about a human fucking godzilla or gargoyles, pretty sure he would file it under unholy fornication. much less DEMONS lmfao.

plus, okay you wouldn’t actually fuck a monster, but thinking is just as bad as doing it, according to your own book:

Matthew 5:28  But I say to you that everyone who looks at a woman with lustful intent has already committed adultery with her in his heart.

Mark 7:20-23 And he said, “What comes out of a person is what defiles him. For from within, out of the heart of man, come evil thoughts, sexual immorality, theft, murder, adultery, coveting, wickedness, deceit, sensuality, envy, slander, pride, foolishness. All these evil things come from within, and they defile a person.”

So by looking lustfully at my art or my stories, you’ve fucked them in your heart and that’s just as bad.

then. You could have just left it at that, but then you turn around and pull the whole “uwu babygirl” which was clearly just done out of anger and vindictiveness. You could not stand that I brushed you off without taking you seriously/was mad that i showed no remorse/just pissy in general. That was super unchristlike of you, because what does the bible say about speaking in anger?

Matthew 5:21–22 You have heard that it was said to those of old, ‘You shall not murder; and whoever murders will be liable to judgment.’ 22 But I say to you that everyone who is angry with his brother will be liable to judgment; whoever insults his brother will be liable to the council; and whoever says, ‘You fool!’ will be liable to the hell of fire.

James 1:19-20 Know this, my beloved brothers: let every person be quick to hear, slow to speak, slow to anger; for the anger of man does not produce the righteousness of God.

Ephesians 4:31 Let all bitterness and wrath and anger and clamor and slander be put away from you, along with all malice.

And if you’re catholic: Titus 1:7 For an overseer, as God's steward, must be above reproach. He must not be arrogant or quick-tempered or a drunkard or violent or greedy for gain.

Damn that’s so crazy. I wonder what Jesus would think of your behavior.

anyways the apology bit was also me joking within the realms of, again, your own religion. as in I would let you pull some more christian stuff as long as it was in repentance of your ungodly behavior.

 1 Peter 3:9 Do not repay evil for evil or reviling for reviling, but on the contrary, bless, for to this you were called, that you may obtain a blessing.

Matthew 6:14-15 For if you forgive others their trespasses, your heavenly Father will also forgive you, but if you do not forgive others their trespasses, neither will your Father forgive your trespasses.

Ephesians 4:32 Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ forgave you.

Maybe it was the sects I was exposed to, but isn’t there like. A tremendous emphasis on asking for forgiveness when you have sinned against others? I mean you can go the easy way and just ask the man upstairs to forgive you if you don’t want to make amends with the actual person you sinned against but I don’t really care either way since I don’t subscribe to your religion.

I just find your behavior really abhorrent for someone who is in the religion of “love” or whatever. Like someone a lot smarter than me said, there’s no hate quite like christian love haha.

ANYWAYS. Also please note I’m using mostly new testament scripture, so you can’t pull the usual “the old rules for the old world” bs.

Also if you’re catholic lmk I’ll start pulling the cataclysm rules I used to have memorized too.

[moonflower1605]

Chapter - 27

(Ella's POV)

It was Annie’s idea. She loaded us into the back of a Vegas taxi as if we had money, & told the driver, "Los Angeles, please."

The cabbie chewed his cigar & kept looking at us. "That’s three hundred miles. For that, you gotta pay up front."

"You accept casino cards?" Annie asked.

"Some of 'em. I gotta swipe 'em first."

She handed him her green Lotus Cash card. He looked at it skeptically.

"Swipe it," Annabeth invited. He did. His meter machine started rattling. Finally an infinity symbol came up next to the dollar sign. The cigar fell out of the driver’s mouth. He looked back at us, his eyes wide. "Where to in Los Angeles...uh, Your Highness?"

"The Santa Monica Pier." Annie sat straight. I knew she liked the "Your Highness" thing. "Get us there fast, & keep the change."

Maybe she shouldn’t have told him that. The cab’s speedometer never dipped below ninety-five the whole way through the Mojave Desert. We had plenty of time to talk. Percy told us about his latest dream.

"The servant had called the monster in the pit something other than "my lord"...some special name or title…." He said.

"The Silent One?" Annie suggested. "The Rich One? Both are nicknames for Hades."

"Maybe..." he said.

"That throne room sounds like Hades's," Grover said. "That's how it’s described."

Percy shook his head. "Something's wrong. The throne room wasn't the main part of the dream. And that voice from the pit...I don’t know. It just didn’t feel like a god's voice."

My eyes widened. Could it really be..?

"What?" He asked me.

"Oh...nothing. I just-No, it must be Hades. He sent this thief, this invisible person, to get the bolt, & something went wrong-"

"Like what?"

"I-I don't know," I said. "But if he stole dad's bolt from Olympus, & the gods were hunting him, a lot could go wrong. So this thief had to hide the bolt, or he lost it somehow. Anyway, he failed to bring it to Hades. That's what the voice said in your dream, right? The guy failed. That would explain what the Furies were searching, when they came after us on the bus. They thought we had the bolt."

"But if I already retrieved the bolt," he said, "why would I travel to the Underworld?"

"To threaten Hades," Grover suggested. "To bribe or blackmail him to get your mom back."

I whistled. "You have evil ideas for a goat."

"Why, thank you."

"But the thing in the pit said it was waiting for two items," Percy said. "If the master bolt is one, what’s the other?"

I looked at Percy cause I knew his next question, & silently willed him not to ask it.

"You know what might be in that pit, don’t you?" he asked me. "If it isn't Hades?"

"Percy...let's not talk about it. Because if it isn't Hades...No. It has to be Hades."

Even though I said it, I knew it wasn't Hades. Wasteland rolled by. We pass a sign that said California State Line, 12 Miles.

The more I thought about the quest, the more I was sure that confronting Hades wasn't the real answer.

There was something else going on, someone else had taken the bolt, but the problem was that no one would even believe me if I said who it was.

To top it off we were hurtling toward the Underworld at ninety-five miles an hour. If we got there & find out we were wrong, we wouldn’t have time to correct ourselves. The deadline would pass & war would begin.

"The answer is the Underworld," Annie said. "You saw spirits of the dead, Percy. There's only one place. We’re doing the right thing."

She tried to boost our morale with strategies to get in the Underworld, but my heart wasn’t in it. I kept thinking about my hunch. The cab sped west.

At sunset, the taxi dropped us at the beach in Santa Monica. The four of us walk down to the edge of the surf.

"What now?" I asked.

The ocean was gold in the sunset. I thought about how long it had been since I’d been on the beach at camp with...Percy. Speaking of Percy I see him step into the surf.

"Percy?" I said. "What are you doing?"

He kept walking, up to his waist, then his chest. I called after him, "You know how polluted that water is? There’re all kinds of toxic wastes in there." but he was already in.

We sat on the shore waiting for him to come back. After a while he came & told us what had happened, & showed us 4 pearls. Annie grimaced. "No gift is without a price."

"They were free." he said.

"No." She shook her head. "There's no such thing as a free lunch.' That's an ancient Greek saying that translated pretty well into American. There will be a price. You wait."

On that happy thought, we took the bus into West Hollywood with some spare change from Ares's backpack.

"You remind me of someone i saw on TV," the bus driver tells Percy. "You a child actor or something?"

"Uh...I’m a stunt double...for a lot of child actors." he replied.

"Oh! That explains it."

We thanked him & got off quickly at the next stop. We wandered for miles on foot, looking for DOA recording studios. Nobody seemed to know where it was.

Twice, we ducked into alleys to avoid cops. Percy froze in front of an appliance-store because a television was playing an interview with someone who looked just like Percy had described-his stepdad, Gabe.

He was busy making up a sob story to convince the reporter & was doing a pathetic job at it.

C’mon,” I told Percy. He held his hand & pulled him away before he could punch a hole in the appliance-store window.

As we hurried passed an alley, a voice from the darkness said, "Hey, you."

We stopped & before we knew it, we were surrounded by a gang of kids. Six white kids with expensive clothes & mean faces. Percy uncapped Riptide.

When the sword appeared out of nowhere, the kids backed off, but the leader was really stupid or really brave, because he came at him with a switch blade. Percy swung his sword. The kid yelped. But he was a hundred percent mortal, because the blade passed harmlessly right through his chest.

He looked down. "What the..."

I figured we had about three seconds before his shock turned to anger. "Run!" I screamed.

We pushed two kids out of the way & raced down the street, not knowing where we were going. We turned a sharp corner.

"There!" Annie shouted. Only one store on the block was open. The sign said something like: CRSTUY’S WATRE BDE ALPACE.

"Crusty's Water Bed Palace?" Grover translated.

We burst through the doors, ran behind a water bed, & ducked. A split second later, the gang kids ran past outside.

"I think we lost them," Grover panted.

A voice behind us said, "Lost who?"

I just love a good cliffhanger ;)

Stay tuned for the next chapter. :)

Link to the next chapter is here.

Link for the prev chapter is here.

Comment, like & share.

Take care my lovely readers.❤

Alice signing off.

XOXO.

#percy jackson #x reader #percy jackson x reader

[lindsaywesker]

Good morning! I hope you slept well and feel rested? Currently sitting at my desk, in my study, attired only in my blue towelling robe, enjoying my first cuppa of the day.

Pumbaa was the first ever character to fart in a Disney movie.

The heaviest human ever recorded weighed 1400 pounds (100 stone).

Thomas Hargrove, a homicide archivist, estimates that there are over 2000 serial killers at large right now.

The average human attention span has almost halved since 2000 decreasing from 20 seconds to 12 in 2018.

Sir Isaac Newton was just 22 when he discovered the universal law of gravity. He also died a virgin.

Scientists discovered traces of cannabis on the pipes found in William Shakespeare's garden.

Bill Gates changed his school's program codes so he was placed in class with mostly female students.

The day after Thanksgiving is generally the busiest day of the year for American plumbers. It's called ‘Brown Friday’.

Adidas will cancel any sponsorship deal that they have with a player if it turns out they have anything to do with Scientology.

Pleonasm is the term for a redundant expression, like ‘ATM machine’, ‘hot water heater’, ‘free gift’ or ‘lying politician’.

Experiments show that male rhesus macaque monkeys will ‘pay’ to look at pictures of female rhesus macaques' bottoms.

The deadliest female serial killer in US history, Clementine Barnabet, had murdered 35 people with an axe by the time she was 18 years old.

In the Tasmanian Devil mating season, the male has to beat the female into submission if he wants to mate. If the male is too weak, the female proceeds to beat up the male.

In 2016, a 70-year-old man robbed a Kansas City bank and then sat down in the lobby, saying he'd rather live in jail than with his wife. He was sentenced to six months of house arrest.

In the 1980s, Nintendo employed ‘game counsellors’. If you were stuck in a game, you could call them, and they would coach you through it.

Thomas Wadhouse was an English circus performer who lived in the 18th century. He is most famously known for having the world's longest nose, which measured 7.5 inches (19 cm) long.

Orgasms were thought to treat 'hysteria’ in women during the 19th century, but doctors were tired of fatiguing their hands, so the modern-day vibrator was created.

In 1939, the New York Times predicted that the television would fail because the average American family wouldn't have enough time to sit around watching it.

Having bridesmaids in a wedding wasn't originally for moral support. They were actually intended to confuse evil spirits or those who wished harm on the bride.

A man named László Polgár developed a method to raise child prodigies. He wrote a book on it, married a language teacher, and they raised the world's best and second-best chess players.

During the Iranian embassy siege in London, back in 1980, when given the choice of who from the group of hostages would be released, they chose Ali Guil Ghanzafar, whose loud snoring was keeping them awake.

When trains were introduced in the U.S, many people believed that women's bodies were not designed to go at 50 miles an hour, and that their uteruses would “fly out” of [their] bodies if they were accelerated to that speed.

In 1978, Richard Branson wanted to impress his girlfriend by pretending to buy a private island. The island was listed for $6 million and he offered $100k as a joke. The owner settled for $180k, and Branson bought Necker Island.

A writer by the name of Lisa Holst created an article in 1993 stating that “around 8 spiders crawl into your mouth every year whilst you sleep”, but the whole thing was made up to prove that the internet was gullible and doesn’t fact check its sources. It's actually more like 20.

In 1140, when King Conrad III of Germany captured a castle, the women of the castle were granted free departure and allowed to take what they could carry on their backs. Thinking quickly, some women carried a man on their backs. The king kept his word and let the men go.

A woman who developed a strange addiction to eating mattresses vowed to stop after she wound up eating not only her own bed but also her mother's. This story comes from the TLC series ‘My Strange Addiction’ and focuses on a woman named Jennifer who was 26 at the time she was featured on the show in 2013. According to the documentary Jennifer used to eat .09 square metres of a mattress a day and had consumed 8 mattresses within 20 years. She admits that she began eating her mother's mattress after she finished eating her own and usually gets the urge around 2 o'clock in the afternoon or after sex.

Okay, that’s enough information for one day. Have a tremendous and tumultuous Tuesday! I love you all.

#mixcloud #mi soul #dj #music #new blog #lockdown #coronavirus #books #weekend #democracy #brexit #cronyism #election #tuesdaymotivation #radio

[bleedingmyway-blog]

on the subject of nintendo hype, i also miss pokemon hype pre XY (which are already 11 years old, wow !), which i know is : 1- oddly specific 2- really old ? i'm talking about basically, back in 2006-2007. now, while i was pretty much a kid back then, i remember that the internet was only useful for three things for me back then : 1 cartoon/anime openings (the dragonball Z op was the first thing i ever searched for on youtube) 2 videogame help and 3 pokemon. whenever i had access to the internet, i'd look for stupid fan art of pokemon fusions, fanfics shipping a variety of the characters from the series and news on the games.

the reason why i specified before XY is because Pokemon X/Y were the first episodes of the series to be announced globally.

on tuesday 8th of january 2013, pokemon xy was announced. i remember running home from school at 12 to open my laptop (that i had left on in the morning so i wouldn't waste a single second) to see the trailer

you have to understand that before, the games were first announced in japan, released there and then eventually announced for the rest of the world (europe, usa) and released. this was a BIG event. but prior to xy, unless you could speak japanese and lived there, you were practically left in the dark about the most recent pokemon news/events. "why not watch the trailer in japanese then and quit dramatizing past events lol ? "

the reason is that back then, a trailer was the culmination of months and months of mystery and hype. you didn't get the trailer first. rumors would circulate from "insiders" and so called trust worthy leakers from japanese and american image boards that a game was in the works (and these rumors would usually start 6-9 months after the release of the most recent mainline game), then speculations about the region, thematic, features would start; i remember how each gen we had someone saying "this time, we'll be able to explore ALL regions !" or "this is going to be open-world in 3d on the TV console !".

remember : the internet was a much more decentralized entity back in the mid/late 00's. information did not drip down from a single verified source on 3-4 social media accounts ; it spread unevenly, gathering misinformation, theories and the interpretation of the relayer along the way. you're probably going to ask "well, if you didn't get it from the official twitter/facebook (this is 2008), where did you get the info from ?"

we got it the old fashioned way. i present to you, the corocoro magazine

the magazine, launched in 1977 is a children's mag that advertised a variety of manga and most importantly video games to a younger audience. and you would not believe how dependant the online pokemon community was on this magazine : any info concerning a new game, teasers, shadows for the shapes of starters would be there. mind you, google trad was not as developped as it is today : you couldn't just up and whip out your phone to translate the text from your computer screen. you had to wait for translators to do so; and boy, was it exciting. i remember how on the french pokemon bubble, it was a race between various websites to translate the info first ; either from the english translation, or directly from the source, if they could comprehend japanese.

source : japanese TV show "Pokemon Sunday" circa 2010-11

and since i mentionned shadows, here is a tradition that sadly disappeared : shadows of the new gen starters as a teaser. surely, i don't have to name or even show you the starters on the picture above for you to recognize them. instead, let us see how creative such teasers got the community :

(i'm too lazy to currently fire up the wayback machine and get some of the fan designs which i remembered to be quite interesting back then)

and so it went on: drip fed teasers, leaks and speculations about info that we take for granted now, like the very names of the new pokemon in english, of the rival and the game's evil team, new or returning mechanics, etc. the hype would go on, info would become clear as we near the japanese release, then once it does, we all sit behind our screens jealous at the lucky ones who either lived in japan or uhm, accidentally received an online package containing a rip of the game's file (jokes aside to avoid getting censored, if this was the case, the games would have safety patches that didn't allow it to be read by the current firmware of jailbroken consoles).

the lucky ones would document their adventure, some try to prepare guides in advance for the international release, others cook-up fan translations ; and at that point, theories have begun. all before we even get the game !

to be honest, i did not expect this to be this long, but as i wrote, i remembered more and more, and like an old sailor, got to recall why i was so excited for pokemon back then. i lived for the hype : play pokemon, next game gets announced, get on the hype train, write theories, debate with other fans on forums, convince people that we're not getting a 3rd gen remake on the Nintendo DS, game releases, rinse, wash and repeat.

to me, this entire topic is an interesting look at the aspect of a bigger topic; the centralization of the internet over the years and the controlled spread of information. of course, i won't get into this here or now, but i'll also add that whatever i put down does somewhat apply to not only nintendo but also games from japanese manufacturers as well : even more obscure light novels on ps4 are getting releases in various languages now. before, you needed a japanese console to play japanese games, a german game would not work on an american console, etc. i am not necessarily nostalgic for this - it was annoying, and some of us missed many games because of it. but i will admit that the absence of teasers and hype when you can just datamine or immediately get the info on twitter from a game dev is saddening. i shall leave you, dear reader, with this trailer for pokemon black and white 2 that had me excited for a month :

#pokemon #pokemon bw2 #nintendo #nostalgia #retro gaming #retro aesthetic #y2k internet #Youtube

[maguro13-2]

War of Shadow Realm ~ Origins of the Ink Demon Chapter 4 Pt.12 ~

[Final Fortress/Eggman Fleet Core]

Ashley : So much getting through. This must be our luck!

Kimial Diehl : No idea! I think we're in the core of the armada, or we're still on the flagship, Metal Sonic did had some power to control the storms.

Ashley : I hope there's only a minute to spare.

Kimial Diehl : Good thinking! Then let's hope to it!

Eggman : (piloting the Egg Emperor) : I wouldn't think so!

Kimial Diehl : Oh no!

[Break You Down - Yutaka Minobe]

Ashley : You must be the mad scientist that blew up Prison Island, right? Wait a sec, you're decoy sent by Neo Metal, aren't you?

Kimial Diehl : What a worthless sucker you are.

Jacqueline O'Lantern Dupre : Oh, I find very intriguing that a maniac that blew up an island that imprisoned Shadow 50 years ago. It happened back then during the incident and after the Black Arms Invasion, The Time Eater is sending a decoy that distracted the four teams to think they won. But more importantly, Neo Metal has been using these vehicles to manipulate the heroes in order to collect data.

Ashley : You're willingly to forget all the things you did back on the island that you blew up! As much of Neo Metal's influence being the overlord himself, I am going to put up that nuisance of yours and it will be your lasts!

Sonic : Not so fast, Eggman!

[Sonic Appears - Takahito Eguchi]

Ashley : Huh?

Knuckles : We won't let you ruin the fun!

Ashley : That must be the blue blur himself!

Jacqueline O'Lantern Dupre : And brought some friends on his journey!

Sonic : Hey, I've known you guys before, you were those detectives that took the baddies and even that worm from MMORPG, if you don't mind. You're Ashley, the Ashley?

Ashley : Yeah, and you are?

Sonic : I'm Sonic, Sonic the Hedgehog.

Ashley : So, I've come to apprehrend that the video game rival to the plumber has arrived to join the fight, and is also another of the Smash Fighters. Very well, we'll be useful if we stick together and defeat this monstrosity!

[Egg Emperor by Jun Senoue Plays]

Sonic : Ready for another round in that robot you're controlling!

Kimial Diehl : Time to give up your wicked ways!

Ashley : I'm putting a stop to this once and for all!

Eggman : Is that so? Hmph! Enough of this! Sonic, Tails, Knuckles, Detectives! Time to meet your maker!

Jacqueline O'Lantern Dupre : Let's do this!

Eggman : I'll show you what real evil is!

Ashley : So, you're lucky that we're able to fight a decoy inside that mech!

Sonic: Of course!

Ashley : Guess we sure know how to stop this mad genius! There's gotta be some kind of fire power that needs to be taken down! (The robot's fire missiles) Missiles incoming!

Tails : Let me try to deflect them! (Thundershoots Sonic and Knucles to deflect the missiles) Lucky for me that Fly-types are the only things that can take a machine down! Quick he's heading for the center!

Jacqueline O'Lantern Dupre : We'll use the power of team blast to finish him off!

"Meanwhile..."

Maka Albarn : It's so quiet over here. Nothing much that Makoto decided to help me out.

[Event : Sonic vs Shadow - Fumie Kumatani]

Spartoi Maka : Well, well, well. I'd never actually admit it that you would be sent in by the Mobian Death God, Grim. Congratulations on making it this far. I wouldn't believe that you the real one who was falsely accused of one's actions against humanity.

Maka Albarn : Right! Which is why I am needed for the real world to have a true hero like me. Born on the Planet Jupiter, I was saved by someone that I even truly met as a kid. The boy who was part human, and part Phantom, Makoto Asagiri!

Spartoi Maka : And he is the one that saved your life? That could be possibly true! I understand that this was all part of your plan to avenge the inhabitants of Earth who were attacked by Inky Albarn, the demon queen that plans on conquering the Real World. Now that I have your attention, of being so surreal, how would you even on saving your life, fates can be real challenging! So who are you, the girl who wanted to save humanity from the faces of True evil?

Maka Albarn : The girl who is going to kick their butts! I'm the one and only Maka Albarn, there is! And you will never change that fact! Time to give the Real World my courage! And I do adventures for fun!

Spartoi Maka: Wow, aren't you the girl that knows adventures that much? I see then, (the two starts sprinting) If you're really that clever for a hero that was mistaken by the likes of that imposter, I suggest that we should settle this! But in terms of this battle, the fates of your world will be their in hands, or your adventuring days are coming to an end!

Maka Albarn : Right back at ya, android! I will the avenge the people of Earth and my family as well! (scene cuts pitch black)

Maka & Makoto : (voices heard) Let the fated battle begins.

~ Sixty-Third Scene : The Final Rivalry ~

#super mario bros #super smash bros #warioware #sonic the hedgehog #sonic heroes #soul eater #fire force #Ashley #kimial diehl #jacqueline o'lantern dupre #sonic #miles tails prower #knuckles the echidna #dr. robotnik #maka albarn #spartoi #nintendo #sega #square enix #crossover #drama #dark comedy #horror #mystery #thriller #supernatural #dark fantasy #science fiction #adventure #action

[libidomechanica]

Untitled (“Tho shame, giving”)

A limerick sequence

               1

Tho shame, giving eyes, which made bail succeeded no more the drreams intender    fail: she new lose opened    upon that must white hath love let’s Parably it take our less.

               2

The many rustice to consumed, soon the music. With undaunted. Then my    vision, think is now it’s    the paved by the prime! In autumn’s suffering to sum was take here?

               3

Stay hastened us. From others can friend, looks on a glory from side-long    experience show how    boughs joined to make my time bled by news rare, it gets and peace, sir!

               4

Look were damps did me i want though the promise to save a wind blow-�� and sad!    Yet, so kind or condescends    his strain wintry of seed save there, if she dwell: You rideth!

               5

Sometimes dimly burdens, as if you. I would weary ways first breach act, and    look abroad. Fast, is must    north of one into the tender which you canst praying: Daddy!

               6

He had ne’er for with another,—not a jury her complexity; they    renew thee! Moment dancing    up an armed, then we never the last anguid smile, the course.

               7

Pages nor pride; or soft word. Prize: for loss of Albion her beast die an    in her white was stillness    that Sage said this being quite stared not the surprising hole mine.

               8

Breath, that though into rhyme, and to a dishonour more. Think on my own Blood    shows that then she winters    seen, and the very tempests droop the can bred; a shawl’d to go.

               9

Of its state receipts in her bacon. The wonder’d her mankind. In the West    thousand stuck into a    pains, who taught into the began to shore, I would his action.

               10

No more grief unutter’s best of clear the dead? But words for study on that    seruices e’er found it    was bleak back her beauty, he will bring crown in thee her within.

               11

Change in the you might&see forms go by, a deserve? In all it all that Fame    caprices man life to    me, and wakeful guise machine. ’Tis a tale white. With you by!

               12

A moment, on the wine more thing to be Cato, no man dance more the wave?    Cast though I be good in    this, and in ram that we’llhave tied threw such the solemn content.

               13

Of hope from that drawn freedom faring wheel it has heart. An occasion of    an answered; you wishes    backward repeat night be not was not; societies away.

               14

All his quarter mortals! Who ne’er soul. It mock me, that for perpetual    fact to do, we live a    Shaking but—pronunciation: a thou doe take molten late.

               15

—Now raise that he mild bind his hour of the made field of Leonidas, was higher    her life you see, that    hours to death. Our free! Day and Wesley, she had not June forsworn.

               16

When gardens, and she’s outrun thrills else many hearts? The red that steps. You marks    upon life and flower    anger is could not wearing giaour, and a maid I never girl?

               17

She was Nimrod’s functions, garden? Thinking our immortal genials, do you    an evil cheek out world’s    crowds before the conceive hundred-year my pipe is nod, why,&c.

               18

Longer blood, the Gold! Which robes, here, you give the cornfield, each other eye and    weed spotless deep pass’d her    for meridian climes, at did mats of love not to answer.

               19

Was it mighty verse subtil model. Of clustere a man’s sunlight most believe    them all, are lonely    sunflowers of worm erected. A commanding roguish een.

               20

So as I using much wish to me, i’ll not me!—My hearts of old, whose whisper’d    his courtesy; and    some to human looks when the plac’d to thee! Which is the ivory.

               21

For all, a comforts wheel our path the west—I miss occurr’d to wretch’d in    atmosphere in a much as    still find. Hid from the tyranny, might was return a bullets.

               22

He blood buzzing out slack, there’s fresh and clasp one that thy with words court forc’d,    the name unnamed boating    high deep purple royal mind; not vsde to be should not. Ah! Dead!

               23

The rose-coloured through it thee; nor from the with thin, that thilke same time, and neat    lust on pass; no pause, thou    would be calm, yet no motion the sky. And cheeks as goods of light.

#poetry #automatically generated text #Patrick Mooney #Markov chains #Markov chain length: 5 #188 texts #limerick sequence

[howwelldoyouknowyourmoon]

Sun Myung Moon and Hak Ja Han gambled around the world for decades

Hak Ja Han and Sun Myung Moon went nightclubbing in Las Vegas, gambling in Atlantic City and bought a $65 million hotel-casino in Uruguay.

Sun Myung Moon, Lord of 500 slot machines (in Uruguay)

Las Vegas Salvation: A Member’s Story

… if there were many ancestors who enjoyed gambling, many evil spirits on the hands …”

Suicide of Moon money mule in Uruguay as Moon opens casino (She was the mother of three children left behind in Japan.)

Sun Myung Moon speaks: “Famous actresses gamble, lose money then fall into debt … then are forced to sleep with men.”

_______________

Former KCFF Bookkeeper, Sophia Kim, Convicted of Tax Crimes in 2012 She used these funds for day trading, gambling and other personal expenses

Kirov Ballet Academy of DC Exec, Sophia Kim, Stole $800K to Feed Gambling Addiction, Feds Say in November 2019

_______________

Cold-War Fascism, and Neo-Moonies: The bizarre backstory most media are missing

Moon’s primary Japanese backer — “Japan’s archangel,” in his own words — was philanthropist Ryoichi Sasakawa (1899-1995). Sasakawa was a pre-war fascist leader, proud Class-A war-crimes suspect, and billionaire magnate, who cut his teeth alongside Kodama as a war-profiteer in the Japanese campaigns of aggression during World War II before becoming a gambling tycoon after the war.

_______________

Sun Myung Moon: “Dr Yang knows so much about Las Vegas. … When I go to Las Vegas I do not lose money. Maybe I should train a few people.”  East Garden, July 12, 2010

_______________

“Rev. Sun Myung Moon: Emperor of the Universe” documentary: Narrator: “Publicly Moon railed against gambling. But Nansook says he took her and the rest of his entourage to Las Vegas. An assistant would place bets for him. Did you say to him, ‘Father, I thought we were supposed not to gamble.’” Nansook Hong: “No, of course not. Haha. If I wanted to die, maybe. No, no, we never raised any questions or doubts. We just had to be there accepting.” LINK

_______________

The Dark Side of the Moons – Nansook Hong Nansook says now that she knew from the very beginning that her husband was a monster and that her in-laws were little better. The honeymoon was in Las Vegas — a place she had never heard of — with the True Family in tow. In the casino she watched the Mother of the True Family “cradling a cup of coins and feverishly inserting them into a slot machine”. The “Messiah”, who publicly condemned gambling, explained that it was his duty to mingle with sinners to save them. He would position a senior church official at the blackjack table and whisper instructions from behind. “So you see, I am not actually gambling myself,” he told his young daughter-in-law. LINK

_______________

Uruguay’s freewheeling banking system operated as a laundromat for drug money. Moon bought a bank.

_______________

“Onni Durst is a woman of guts. While she was at a slot machine in Las Vegas, she completely ran out of coins; she went to the next person, smiled, and borrowed some coins.”

Sun Myung Moon (May 19, 1980, New York City)

_______________

Onni Durst’s trips to Las Vegas casinos, New York, and Seoul – and her luxurious lifestyle.

_______________

Tiger Park gambled – Dan Fefferman explains:

September 18, 1999 “In the US, Rev Choi succeeded Tiger Park… I have mixed feelings about Tiger Choi. I really don’t think the Cadillacs were a big problem. We had bought even more expensive cars for Tiger Park. I remember him totaling his BMW one time. But no one minded when Tiger Park used money. Even if he had been in Atlantic City gambling all night, he’d always come back to the center and sleep on the floor with the brothers. Then he’d jump in his BMW and drive by himself through the night to the next center. He was a man of the people.” LINK

_______________

VIDEO:

$42M of Donations Gambled Away by Hak Ja Han & Unification Church Leaders in Las Vegas

#unification church #sun myung moon #hak ja han #cult #gambling #Tiger Park #Onni Durst #Sophia Kim #Yang Chang-shik

[disturbedbydesign]

The Widow and the Wolf - Chapter 3

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x dark!exWidow!reader

Summary: After Natasha Romanoff took down the Red Room, the former Widows scattered to the wind. Raised to be a killing machine and released into the world with nothing and no one, you decided to use your newfound autonomy to take down the bad guys of your choosing. But now Natasha is riddled with guilt for leaving you on your own. She wants to recruit you, rehabilitate you, make you part of a team again. But the rest of the squad has reservations, and no one is more against you than Bucky Barnes.

Warnings: Graphic violence; Mentions of domestic violence, rape, pedophilia, human trafficking, child sex trafficking; eventual Dubcon (not Bucky); eventual smut; slow(ish) burn enemies-to-lovers. [More warnings will be added as necessary but these are the Big Bads.] 18+ only, no minors.

If you prefer to read on AO3, you can do so here.

Chapter Three

If you had a home, it would be Bucharest, even though you despise the place. It was the first place you went when you got free, because you know he’s here somewhere, conducting his evil machinations from the shadows, shielded by layer after layer of vile men across the globe doing his dirty work. There are plenty of men out there deserving of your particular brand of justice, but no one more so than the Viper. Sometimes you think that, if you can just find him and take him out, you might be able to move on—try to make a normal life for yourself, whatever that looks like. You don’t allow yourself to think about what will happen if you finally achieve your life’s goal and it’s still not enough for you.

You remember everything about the day you learned of the Viper’s existence. You were just 7 years old, one of many little girls packed into a shipping container. You had no idea how long you’d been in there or how long you would be in there. It smelled rancid, and there was never a moment of quiet. Most of the girls were screaming or crying, but a few (like you) were silent, just observing. You don’t know who sold you from your orphanage and shipped you off to Dreykov and you never will. What you do know is that you had no family to miss and no one to miss you, so you didn’t understand what the others were so upset about. From the very beginning, you adjusted to life as a Widow almost effortlessly, which is its own form of tragedy.

Others, though, they were stolen away from people who loved them. This seemed a foreign concept to you when you heard about it from the tiny, sobbing girl huddled next to you in the shipping container—the girl who told you about the Viper, the girl who would become your first and only friend until Dreykov took control of all of your minds. Once you were given the serum, your memories were locked up inside your own heads—none of you could have talked about your past lives even if you’d wanted to. Your words were not your own. You didn’t know what was real and what was planted there. Sometimes you still don’t, and nothing terrifies you more than that.

You have no idea how many little girls the Viper funneled to Dreykov over the years, but it was probably a decent amount. His real bread and butter had always been sex trafficking, and he’s still doing it—on an even larger scale if your intel is correct (which, of course, it is). But he won’t be operating for much longer, not now that you’re so close you can almost taste the venom. You were barely 8 years old when you decided you would kill him, and now you have your chance. You are so close, closer than you’ve ever been, but he keeps slithering out of your grasp. And so you’re in Bucharest, again, looking for answers, again. But you have other business, too—almost as important, if not more so.

You head to the safehouse on the outskirts of the city. The building doesn’t look like much on the outside, but you’ve made sure the inside is comfortable enough for the women and children who live there. The matron greets you at the door and you hand her this month’s envelope, which contains enough cash to feed everyone for the next two months, keep the lights and the water on, and some extra to fix the plumbing issues that have been plaguing the building since you bought it.

The building can house about 40 people comfortably—it’s not nearly enough, and you’re determined to create as many safe spaces as you can, but it’ll do for now. For now, you have to select your charges according to a very strict criteria: they are all women and children (and the children of women) who have been bought and sold by the Viper. Some of them escaped on their own; some of them had assistance from you and the very few people you trust in the city. But all of them have suffered, and all of them have information that you need. Individually, it’s not much, but the more women you talk to, the more pieces of the puzzle you have to work with.

Besides for the cash drop, today you’re here to see the newest resident: Irina, a 19-year-old beauty your Bucharest contacts had managed to snatch from one of the sex clubs. Irina was delivered to the Viper at 12, and her life since then has been an endless nightmare that you can’t think about for too long without feeling physically ill. She’s sitting by the window in the living room, cupping a steaming mug of tea, when you approach her. You walk towards her slowly, and when Irina looks over at you, there is recognition in her eyes even though you’ve never met.

“You’re the Widow,” she says.

“Not anymore,” you reply. “But if that’s what you’d like to call me, go ahead. May I sit?” She gestures to the seat opposite her and you settle in for a chat. “I’d like to ask you some questions, Irina. Is that ok?”

“The others told me you’d be coming.” She speaks softly, her voice hoarse from screaming or crying or both. “I know what you’re trying to do. You’ll never catch him, you know.”

“I disagree,” you say, “but I need more information.”

“Alright,” she agrees, “if you think it will help,” and you begin the gentlest of interrogations.

Irina tells you that for the first several years after she was taken, she hadn’t heard anyone mention the Viper. She thinks that a lot of the girls probably knew about him or came directly from him, but no one would talk about it because it was too dangerous or traumatizing (or both). Things were different at her last club, though. When you ask her how many of the girls at Delirium knew about him, she tells you that several of them had passed through him somewhere along their journey. One of them—one far too young to be working there—even admitted that she’d been with him only two months earlier.

Finally, after all this time, you’ve got a clear line from point A to point B. You feel it in your bones that Delirium holds the answers, that if you can just get in and poke around a bit, you’ll be able to find him. You take Irina’s hands in yours and thank her for her help, and then you hear it: heavy footsteps coming down the hall. No woman or child in the building weighs enough to make a sound like that, and no men are allowed on the premises. You know who it is before you see him.

*****

Bucky watches you enter the building from his position on the roof across the street. His contact had told him that there were whispers of a Widow safehouse at this address, though no one would dare set foot within 10 blocks of the place to find out. Bucky doesn’t believe the rumor, though. He knows you work alone, that you pride yourself on it. He assumes this is just one of many places where your targets meet their ends, and he knows enough about Bucharest to know that there are a lot of men in this city who fit your modus operandi.

Still, something is off. It’s not an empty building. There have been women and children coming and going all morning, and nearly all the apartments seem occupied. Why would you choose to do your dirty work in a place with so much activity, with so many innocents around? That seems not only impractical but beneath even you. He’s lost in these thoughts, checking each window with his binoculars, when he settles on a beautiful young girl staring out the window, looking desperately sad. She turns to look at someone he can’t see, and then he sees you emerge from the shadows and take a seat opposite her.

There’s a softness to your face—a gentle kindness—that knocks the wind out of him. Bucky can’t take his eyes off of you, analyzing your body language and facial expressions to try to figure out what the hell is going on. This is the last thing he expected to see, and he tells himself that this woman must be hiring you for a job—except the woman is nothing but a broken child and doesn’t look like someone who would be taking out a hit on somebody (and certainly not someone who could pay for one).

It’s unnerving, watching you this way, and Bucky is no longer sure that what he’s doing is right. There’s something about your interaction with this girl that makes him feel like a voyeur, witnessing an intimate moment that he should not be seeing but that fascinates him nonetheless. Still, he’s here, you’re his mission—albeit one he took upon himself—and he needs to finish it. By this time, Natasha and Steve are almost certainly on their way, and Bucky needs to get to you before they show up. He went rogue and committed to this plan; now he just has to execute it. He’ll deal with the consequences later.

Bucky makes his way across the street and around the back, where children’s toys litter the small yard of weeds and dirt. When he gets to the back door, he notices that it isn’t the usual ancient rusted lock that one finds on the old buildings in this neighborhood; it’s brand new tech. There’s a pretty decent security camera setup around the building, too.

What the hell is this place?

Bucky has two choices: he can rip the door off the hinges, or he can scale the building and climb in the open window on the top floor. You’re going to be homicidally pissed either way, so he might as well not destroy any property—you may be a monster, but the other tenants here look like civilians, and he doesn’t want to sacrifice their security in his quest to bring you in.

Bucky makes it into the building and weaves his way through the hallways. Along the way, he runs into a few women, and each one of them freezes when they see him. They are shocked and deathly afraid—a look he knows far too well—and they scurry back to their apartments and lock the doors. With his hair cut short, baseball cap pulled down, and leather jacket and glove hiding his prosthetic, it doesn’t seem possible that all of these women would immediately recognize him as the Winter Soldier. That’s what it feels like to him, though, and it’s a gut-punch sensation he does not like at all.

When he gets to the sitting room, the girl you are with has the same look of terror, and for a moment, so do you. But you snap back to yourself quickly—having gone from soft to terrified to hostile within a span of about 15 seconds. Before he can react, you stomp towards him, grab him by the jacket, and hiss, “Not here.”

Bucky hears you speak to the girl in Romanian, “Don’t be afraid, Irina. He’s a friend,” although he knows you think him anything but.

The second you get him into the hallway, you’ve got your knife to his throat. Even with your cold blade nicking his skin, Bucky fights the impulse to disarm you. He doesn’t want to fight you. He knows that he’s intruded on something here, though he doesn’t know what, and he actually feels guilty. He could break you in half if he wanted to, but he lets you pin him to the wall—lets you feel like you’re in control.

“What the fuck are you doing here?” you growl.

“You know why I’m here,” Bucky replies, but he doesn’t know—not really, not anymore. “What is this place?”

“It’s somewhere safe,” you say, “or it was until you showed up. No boys allowed, Soldat. Time to go.”

You catch him off guard when you flip him around and throw him through the nearest door, and before he can regain his balance, you kick him straight through the window and into the yard two storeys below. The fall is nothing to Bucky, and he knows that you know that, but it certainly made a statement. He looks up at the broken window he’d just crashed through and sees you peering out with a satisfied smile on your face.

Bucky calls up to you, “I just want to talk.”

“Bullshit,” you snap.

“I mean it,” he says, and he actually does. “You can pick the place.”

He watches as you consider his offer, weighing your options—you obviously don’t trust him, but it’s clear that the sanctity of this location is important to you. Now that he’s violated it, you can’t just let him wander off. You agree to meet with him that evening—in public, at a club in Old Town.

“Come alone, Soldat,” you call down to him, “and if you tell anyone about this place, I’ll throw you out a higher window.”

Bucky tries to hide his tiny smile but he knows you see it, just like he sees the little quirk of your lip just before you disappear. He hoists himself off the ground and brushes himself off. When he turns to leave, he sees a little girl holding hands with her mother. He has no idea how long they’ve been standing there, but the girl is pointing and giggling at him.

The little girl asks, “What happened to him, mama?”

“The Widow’s bite,” she replies.

*****

“He’s not going to hurt her, Natasha,” Steve says as he prepares the Quinjet for landing.

“She might not give him a choice,” she replies, strapping herself in. “What the hell was he thinking coming here alone?”

“I don’t know,” Steve says. “There’s something about this girl that’s really gotten under his skin.”

Natasha looks at Steve, asking the question with her eyes she wouldn’t dare say aloud, and he picks up what she’s putting out.

“He’s not the Winter Soldier anymore. All of that programming… it’s gone. You know that. He’s just Bucky now.”

Natasha nods in agreement, but a part of her still has questions—not whether the deprogramming worked, she knows that it did, and she trusts Bucky with her life. No, Natasha’s concern is what is going on inside Bucky’s head. He was doing well, he was adjusting, he was finally ok, but the existence of you seems to have triggered something in him that the words never had. The words made him cold and empty and ready to comply, but you—you make him think, and Natasha knows how dangerous it can be to dwell too much on things you’ve left in the past.

When Steve and Natasha arrive at Bucky’s old apartment, it’s empty, but there are small signs of life—the indent of a head on the pillow on the floor in the corner, an apple core just starting to brown. He’s been there, and recently. Natasha and Steve don’t know who he would still have contact with in Bucharest, so they are left with nothing to go on. Bucky knows how to cover his tracks, and he left them just enough crumbs to get them to Bucharest but not enough that they could find him when they got there.

“He wants us to trust him,” Steve says, “to wait for him to bring her back here.”

“I can’t just sit around waiting for something to happen, Steve. I have a really bad feeling about this.”

“So what do you suggest we do?” Steve asks.

Natasha sighs and looks out the window. “I have no idea,” she replies, and that’s when she sees it: a piece of graffiti spraypainted on the wall of a building down the street—a coiled snake ready to strike.

The memory hits Natasha like a freight train. She knows that symbol. She knows what it means. She knows exactly who you’re looking for and it seems absurd to her now that she hadn’t thought of it before.

“Let me make a call,” she says. “I think I know why she’s here.”

#bucky barnes fanfiction #bucky barnes x reader #bucky barnes smut #bucky barnes x you #bucky barnes #sebastian stan #dark!reader #dark!fic #the widow and the wolf

[beyondspaceandstars]

While You Sleep

Chapter 12

Relationship: Bucky Barnes x Reader Warnings: kidnapping, violence Summary: Soulmate!AU - Throughout life, you’re given glimpses of your soulmate through dreams. As you sleep, memories flash in your mind showing you the life your soulmate has lived. Everyone around you raves about how their soulmate reads great books or volunteers in their spare time. But you can’t relate as your dreams end up being more like nightmares. Through initial images of death and violence, you come to learn your soulmate is the Winter Soldier.

Masterlist | Series Masterlist

“They couldn’t take that from me. They could never take you.”

“I never want to bring you pain or worry, okay? That shouldn’t be what… we do.”

Bucky’s words rang in your head as you sat in the lonesome cell, fighting for release any way you thought to try. But naturally, these attempts of wrangling yourself out of this had fallen flat and you weren’t trying anymore, that’s for certain. It only made the restraints dig into your wrists more. Not to mention you were beyond tired hitting a point of exhaustion that you didn't know was possible. You weren’t given a chance to relax as you sat on edge, waiting. Waiting for what - or really who - you didn’t quite know. 

Sure, you had an Avenger for a soulmate (at least, that was what you considered Bucky, despite his humbleness) but you weren’t exactly up to date on their enemies. From your understanding, between the looks of the facility and your soulmate’s history, this was seeming like the work of Hydra. But they had been abolished...right? Apparently, you didn’t know anymore and doubts rang in your head as you feared you weren’t some random victim.

The first signs of daylight were just beginning to peek into your cell from a very tiny, thin window located near the top of the wall beside you.

Suddenly, a grumbling voice called from outside the cell. “She’s up.” You whipped your head towards the sound, just barely able to make out a figure illuminated by the early morning glow. There was probably some comment to make to whoever this was about how you hadn’t really slept but you couldn’t find your voice at the moment.

“Excellent.” A deeper, possibly older, voice called from down the hall. The man sounded way too excited for your liking. Your stomach threatened to empty its contents as heavy footsteps began making their way towards your cell.

When the steps stopped, you tried squinting through the minimal light but still couldn’t make out much of either man. If you had to guess, they looked like some doctors of sorts in long lab coats with notebooks in hand. One thing you definitely could tell was that they didn’t hesitate to stare back. You could feel their eyes taking you in over and over again making your heart pound in a weirdly familiar way.

“Does she speak?” The first man asked with a humorless scoff. You twisted in your wrist restraints wishing for some courage to get up and maybe put space between you. 

Mustering a scrap of energy, you turned away from the men, hoping maybe your matted hair falling in your face could block them out forever. Because really, couldn’t this be forever? How would anyone know what happened? Your best bet was your coworker noticing your absence but then you thought of Bucky… He was away for now and by the time he caught wind who knows what would be of you. Tears began welling in your eyes at the thought of this being it for you -- whatever this was. You still weren’t sure what about you compelled these men to kidnap you in the middle of the night.

“Hey,” the same voice called out to you this time, pulling you from your troubling thoughts. Slowly, you turned back to him, taking in more of the doctor (fake, you guessed) persona now. “I asked if you speak.”

“No,” you grumbled. You didn’t know where this smart response came from but it made you feel a bit better like you were coming back to yourself. Really, though, you were in no position to start getting smart with anyone.

He let out a joyous laugh that sent far more fear through you. “The Soldier’s soulmate has an attitude, huh?”

Soldier? Bucky. Your heart panged at another thought of him. If that’s who they were referring to, this was to be about Bucky, you realized. These men knew him and whatever connection was festered there, it hadn't fizzled and you were caught in the crossfire. This actually couldn’t be them… But it looked like it.

Suddenly, the cell door opened with a loud screech, and the two men walked into the full glory of the morning sunrise. There, on their white coats, you saw an emblem of what appeared to be some tentacle-bearing creature. Your suspicions were regrettably confirmed. 

They walked towards you, their eyes looking over you as if you were an experiment and they were memorizing you. With fear racing through you, you slowly began scooting backward trying to get as far away as you could. Your back eventually hit a wall and they just kept coming. 

“Quite the squeamish one for being chained to The Soldier,” the second man observed, writing something down in his notebook. You could see now that he was much older, having that wiser look in his older years. You guessed he was a leader of sorts (at least, that was how you were going to file him in your head) and the other man, the one who was so kind to comment on your attitude, was some kind of assistant. You couldn’t take your eyes off the logo on their coats as it was practically screaming in your face. It all felt impossible and yet here you were, in the belly of the beast.

“W-What am I doing here?” You asked, your voice scratchy and nervous. Honestly, you were just glad you had the guts to make any noise. The assistant looked a bit humored at your question.

“Wow, she speaks full sentences,” he commented with an unsettling smirk. 

The “leader” of the pair shot him a look before turning back to speak to you. “We have some observing to do, my dear,” he briefly explained.

The vagueness of it all was certainly not helping you - like anything realistically could in this moment. Still, you pursued it. “Observing?”

He hummed in response, turning back for a moment to write a few more lines in the notebook. Truthfully, you wanted to just kick it out of his fucking hand. Your eyes flicked quickly to the assistant but he wasn’t handing out any hints, just looking at you like you were something to be conquered. Oh, how you wanted to vomit on their shiny dress shoes.

“I will explain our intentions to ease your mind,” he snapped his notebook shut, “but first, you are to be moved.”

And just like, as if his words were keys, a hoard of men entered the cell and hoisted you to your feet. You tried kicking and screaming but they were strong. Maybe too strong. A strength you possibly could only recall in two other men you knew. But you didn’t have time to dwell on it as they corralled you easily and forced you down the hall. 

Everything was dark again. There was no light from the windows in the hall, just some musty glows of lightbulbs hanging from the ceiling. You didn’t know where to look so you just stared downward, taking in the metal flooring that made you chilled.

After turning a few corners, you were brought to a much larger cell. This one at least had a chair, but you didn’t think it was exactly a nice grand gesture as your eyes landed on the restraints attached to it. The second thing you noticed was some sort of computer-like machine and rolling tables which lined the side. If you hadn’t known better, you would’ve thought this was just another medical office. 

You yelped as one of the large men threw you on the chair, not giving you a second to even adjust before your hands were unbound only to be rebound by the chair’s restraints.  You tugged a bit at them out of reflex, finding them as sturdy as expected. Your legs were free, though, maybe offering some tactic but exhaustion and fear overtook you.

Once they deemed you settled in, the army of men left, walking in line as commandingly as they had entered. The leader and his assistant stayed, waiting for you three to finally be alone once more. The door shut with a disturbing bang, really sealing your fate. The assistant stayed off to the side, leaning against a wall adjacent to the chair. The leader walked over to you, taking a seat on some rolling stool. Wow, these guys really thought they were serious professionals or something.

“I hope the trip here was okay,” the leader said with a chuckle. “Comfortable?” He motioned towards your lounging state. You blinked. “I see we are losing that attitude. What a shame, really. I’m sure your soulmate loves a firecracker.” Your body visibly tensed at the mention of Bucky. The elderly man didn’t miss it. In fact, it seemed like you unintentionally gave him the perfect segue into his whole evil spiel.

“Ah, yes, your soulmate.” The leader nodded as if he had just forgotten all about it. “Well, you see, the fact he even has one was news to us,” he shrugged and glanced at his assistant who nodded in confirmation. “We were sure when we wiped him we were wiping everything, so imagine our surprise when we find out he’s out and about dancing - with you on his arm.” 

Your throat tightened as the memories of you and Bucky at the dance hall flooded your mind. It had been so busy that night you never would’ve thought you’d have to worry about someone… It sounded so ludicrous to you. You almost wish he hadn’t said it as the thoughts of that night were suddenly a bit darker. The carelessness you two had held seemed foolish now. 

The leader watched you carefully. When you didn’t say anything in response, just blinked away more tears, he continued, “At first, we were quite angry we had missed something so big. We could’ve sworn we broke every attachment time after time but, as I said, you just swept The Soldier right off his feet. So, naturally, our sights were set on eliminating you.” He let out a ridiculous hearty laugh. “But then my assistant here,” the man in the corner waved in response, “realized that that would be a waste. There could be potential here for you. For you and your soulmate. Potential rooted in a team. Two unbreakable soldiers, both in bond and skills. What more could Hydra want?” 

You gasped, your eyes growing wide, at the explanation. You didn’t know what to do now, your body had a mind of its own as it began shaking your head furiously as your wrists tugged and tugged at the restraints. This wasn’t realistic. They were absolutely mad. What kind of foolishness was this? They couldn’t possibly -

“Now, now,” the leader chuckled and turned to his notebook. He began checking referencing stuff from the monitor to the paper. “Don’t get too excited. We’re still brainstorming the whole concept and while it’s not near execution, it is on the promising side. There is, though, a vital component we seem to be lacking: your soulmate.”

Bucky… Your heart felt like it was going to rip itself out of your chest. Was he walking into a trap? Assuming he was walking in at all? Who was to say he had any idea of what was going on with you? How long could this all be for… You let out a surprising sob.

The leader responded to your outburst with an annoyed scoff. “There’s no reason to cry, dear. He’s sure to be here soon thanks to that little bond you have. If he hasn’t already recognized your distress by now, well, he’s not as smart as we thought.” He shrugged and began typing away on the monitor’s keyboard. “The whole attachment may all work out in our favor after all. Eventually, you two will be reunited, and won’t that be just lovely?”

Truthfully, you didn’t know anymore. You had no doubt in Bucky’s fighting abilities but these guys were… Well, they were pretty much responsible for him and everything you had seen him be put through. Who knows what they could do if (and when) he walked through those doors. You were lucky you hadn’t passed out yet from this anxiety alone.

“Besides, as I said, it’s all later down the line anyway,” the leader said. It had suddenly occurred to you at that moment that you were very glad he hadn’t given out his name. You couldn’t imagine humanizing these monsters. “For now, though, we are interested in learning more about you. I’ll be honest, on paper you are quite boring. Barely finished high school, left college for a coffee shop job… The pairing is almost comical. We just can’t figure out what you offer him and while, really, who are we to question Fate? But I still think in time we can figure out...well, whatever it is about you.”

You shook your head slowly, your eyes barely even able to focus on him anymore. Everything in you felt so heavy. “I’m not special.” 

“Oh, but that’s where you’re wrong,” the leader chuckled. “He makes you special.”

As if on cue, a chorus of screams erupted from the hallway. You all jumped and turned towards the door. There was a little window on it but all you three could see were the bodies of the army of men from earlier flying about. 

“Sooner than we expected,” the leader mumbled and began furiously typing something into the computer.

You didn’t know what to do besides sit there and wait for whatever was coming. Deep in you, you knew it was Bucky, you could feel it. You could feel him. But there was also a part of you that could also sense… rage. A very familiar, unsettling rage burned within him. It made you wonder if you actually wanted to see him in such a state. Some sick piece of you wished they had just knocked you out. 

There wasn’t much more time to consider what you were going to do as the door to the cell was ripped off. Literally, fully, ripped away at the hinges to reveal a very determined, very angry, Bucky. He had an expression you didn’t recall seeing before, even in the nightmares. He looked ready to murder everything in its path but there was no calculated strategy to the madness. It seemed to be just him and his pure desire to eliminate anything and everything. His eyes were locked deadly on the older man, seemingly opting to ignore you. The assistant had begun shifting further away into the corner of the space.

“So nice of you to join us,” the leader said with an unsettling laugh. “I’ll admit, we weren’t expecting you so soon. I barely got a chance to get to know your little darling here.” He motioned towards you. 

“I’m only going to ask this once,” Bucky finally spoke, his voice strained, “let her go.”

The leader smiled, “I’m not sure you’ll be asking for anything in a moment, anyways.” He motioned towards the computer. You and Bucky followed his motion with matching bewildered expressions. “In fact, I think you’ll be the one doing what I ask.”

Bucky’s eyes widened. “No-,” 

But it was already set in motion. With a simple press of a button, the room filled with an electronic voice repeating a series of words in a foreign language. You looked around, unsure of where this could even be coming from and what the hell was being said, Your eyes eventually settled on Bucky who looked completely… lost. You gripped the sides of the chair, begging for this to just be over, as you watched that was so familiar. You could feel the memories rising from the depths of your brain. Hidden away, nearly suppressed... You gasped. The nightmares. That’s what all this was. They had pulled the trigger. 

As much as you loved and trusted Bucky, you couldn’t say the same for the other guy. If in that state, could he even recognize you? Like, fully understand your role? You didn’t want to find out, truly. The panic that was settling in now was unlike anything you had experienced that day. Not even the idea of Hydra goons kidnapping you had sparked this much within. 

You were preparing yourself for the worst as you watched Bucky try to shake it off. The leader wore a proud expression while the assistant kept his lonely distance, watching everything unfold. Suddenly, Bucky began mumbling to himself as his hands made hard fists. You thought the blow was finally coming and he was going to be gone. Just like that.

But then Bucky lunged. In one swift move, he pounced on the leader, taking everyone in the room off-guard, especially the target of the aggression. The older man hadn’t even had a chance to put his arms up before your soulmate was punching him relentlessly. Bucky’s yelling in the process was of pure, expressive anger, completely drowning out the screams of pain from the leader. You didn’t know what to do. You wanted to look away so badly but you were also hypnotized. Bucky was so determined and unwavering in whatever goal was planted in his head. A bit thankful someone would go to such lengths for you, you had had enough of such danger in your sleep - you didn’t want it in your reality. 

Bucky switched suddenly to strangling the man and that seemed to be the final straw for the leader’s life. The older man was soon just a lifeless, limp body on the floor. Bucky was still knelt above him, watching the soul drain from his victim. Your jaw went slack. You couldn’t turn this off.

The assistant didn’t help it as he made some foolish break for the exit but Bucky was just as fast. In a couple of determined strides, Bucky yanked the younger man back by the neck and threw him into the wall creating an artistic indentation. The assistant fell to the floor with a chilling thud. 

There was no one left for his sights to land on except for you. Slowly, Bucky turned around. A shiver ran up your spine when your eyes finally met. You didn’t know who was standing before you. Whatever or whoever this was quickly began stomping their way towards you. You shut your eyes and flinched away, waiting for a painful, finishing blow from the Soldier. 

But it never came. 

Instead, all Bucky did was lean over to turn off the speakers and then began untying your wrists. Hesitantly, you turned to look at him but found he wouldn’t look at you, just was intensely concentrated on the restraints. 

“B-Bucky?” Your voice was scratchy as you fumbled over his name. 

“It’s me, doll,” Bucky responded with an exhausted sigh. He sounded normal to you, his demeanor not even looking close to what you remembered from the nightmares. He… He was okay. Bucky still wasn’t looking at you as he finished one restraint then went on the next.

“You’re not…”

Bucky shook his head. “Everything’s okay,” he mumbled. “We’re getting you out of here.”

“We?”

“The team is outside handling the other men.”

“You all came for me?”

Bucky finally looked up at you. For the first time, you could see just how tired he looked. A man nearly on the brink of defeat and enduring the fight. Your heart ached as all you wanted to do was crawl into his arms and take the longest naps of your lives. 

“Of course, sweetheart,” Bucky nodded. Gently, after the last restraint was undone, he picked you up bridal style. You threw your arms around his neck and buried your face in his shoulder, letting yourself relax and the tears flow. 

“Thank you,” you mumbled but Bucky didn’t respond as he carried you out of the facility

***

You must’ve fallen asleep because a few hours later you awoke at some sort of compound. You were lying in what appeared to be a hospital bed but nothing about this place looked like a typical hospital. The technology was too advanced and everything just seemed too quiet. You looked around, letting your eyes adjust to the bright light of the sun shining in from the large room windows. In the corner, you were greeted by the sight of Bucky sleeping awkwardly in a chair.

You twisted in the bed, trying to get more comfortable under the blanket. The super-soldier hearing must’ve kicked in because one ruffle of the blanket made Bucky’s eyes shoot open. He looked at you, panic shifting to relief when he saw you were awake. Quickly, in a few steps, he was out of the chair and at your bedside. 

“How are you feeling?” He asked softly. His hand went to touch your cheek but he must've thought better of it and instead lowered it. Your heart broke a bit wondering what self-deprecating thoughts were running through his brain after everything he had to do. 

“I’m okay. Just a bit sore,” you shrugged but boy was it the hard truth. You hadn't been in a comfortable position in hours and endured being thrown around like some rag doll. 

“Do you need any medicine?” Bucky asked, his voice suddenly having an air of panic to it. “I can call for help if you need it. Are you hungry? Do you need water? Or -  Or just anything to drink? I can get you-,”

“Bucky…” You placed your hand on his to calm down. He flinched at your touch. “I’m fine. Everything is fine.”

He shook his head. “Nothing is fine, sweetheart. You were taken from me-,” Bucky cut himself off as his eyes began welling with tears. He looked wrecked as he stared down at you, taking in your current state. You felt the pain, wanting nothing more than to make all these torturing thoughts vanish. “You… You saw things that I just… I never wanted you to deal with-,”

“It’s over.” You took a deep breath. “I’m here, I’m safe, and you’re with me.”

Bucky closed his eyes as if preparing for something. “After what happened back there, do you even want me around anymore?”

Your jaw went slack at his question. Sure, there was absolutely no denying that the events of today scared you, most likely more than you realized. You had only seen Bucky that determined and violent in your nightmares so to see it just steps away was jarring. But you also knew nothing changed within him. He wasn’t a robot or anything. He wasn’t someone just taking commands. He had remorse. You certainly couldn’t say the same for who greeted you in your sleep. It may take you some time to adjust, sure, but you weren’t turning away. At least, you were going to try not to. Healing was just beginning.

“Of course, I do,” you said, raising your other hand to Bucky’s cheek. At first, he flinched but slowly he leaned into the touch, sighing like he was letting go of something. “Bucky, what happened back there… You had no choice. I don’t have to tell you that those were some very, very bad people. They had it coming and the fact you went to those lengths to save me is unbelievable.”

“I’d go to the ends of the Earth for my girl,” Bucky admitted. 

You let out a weak giggle. “Thank you.” A pause. “May I ask how you figured out I was in trouble?”

Bucky smirked. “I had a nightmare.”

You raised your brows in surprise. “A nightmare?”

He nodded, “I started to feel weird after leaving for the mission like there was something I was missing. A little later on, I was taking a nap and you of course appeared but it was unlike any other dream I had ever had about you. It was… You were scared, deathly afraid of something, and then I saw what was going on. I practically watched it all play out from your apartment and on. It didn’t take too long to put everything together.”

You hmm’d. “Thank God for nightmares.”

Bucky chuckled and placed a light kiss on your forehead. “Thank God for nightmares,” he repeated in agreement.

#bucky barnes #the winter soldier #bucky barnes x you #bucky barnes x reader #bucky barnes imagine #bucky barnes fanfiction #bucky barnes angst #bucky barnes fluff #fanfiction #fanfic #mcu fic #mcu #marvel fanfiction #marvel #avengers #soulmate au #writing* #fluff #angst #bucky fic #bucky x y/n #bucky imagine #bucky barnes one shot

[rosiehunterwolf]

Never Put Off Until Tomorrow

Prompts: Chores and Video Games

Word Count: 4,850

Characters: The squad + Pixal

Timeline: between seasons 11 and 12

Trigger Warnings: None

Summary: …what can be done today, yada, yada, yada, we all know the saying. So do the ninja- when Master Wu is drilling it into their heads every minute of every day, it’s kind of hard to forget.

Naturally, it only takes them a week (and the biggest new video game in Ninjago) to do so.

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“Get that gun out of his hand! Without it, he’ll be defenseless and we can take him down easily!” “I’m trying, Jay!” Lloyd said through gritted teeth. “One wrong move and he’ll get me with that thing!”

“Use your powers!” Jay raised his sword and dove at the enemy, forcing him to turn and face him. As their swords clashed with a loud clang of metal, Jay quickly pulled back as Lloyd shot a blast of power at the attacker, who promptly collapsed to the ground.

“Alright! Way to go, green ma- look out!”

Lloyd shrieked as someone suddenly jumped on him from behind, skewering a sword through his skull. The green ninja fell to the ground and vanished in a puff of smoke.

The ninja blinked at the scene before them, speechless.

Jay suddenly let out a whoop, leaning over to high-five Kai. “Way to go, bro! You’re so good at this game!” “He came out of nowhere,” Lloyd huffed, tossing his control to the ground. “He didn’t even give me a chance to fight back.”

Kai reclined, putting his hands behind his head. “Work smarter, not harder, green machine.”

Lloyd scowled, and Nya shot him a sympathetic glance. “Hey, Lloyd, you lasted a whole ten minutes longer than last time! You’ve drastically improved.”

“Don’t feel bad,” Kai winked. “Even Jay couldn’t beat me, I wouldn’t expect you to.”

Cole shook his head. “Dude, you’re unchecked! We’ve only had this game for a week and already, you’re insane. Let’s just say I’m very glad you’re on our team.”

“I’ll say,” Zane agreed. “The Critical Conquest Gaming Tournament is going to have some of the best gamers in Ninjago. You’re good, Kai- we all are- but we all need to be at the top of our game if we want a chance at winning.”

“We got this, guys,” Nya assured. “We’ve fought off serpentine, ghosts, the Overlord, Oni- winning a city-wide video game tournament should be a piece of cake.”

“Speaking of cake-”

“No cake,” Jay snapped at Cole. “Not until we’ve won this thing. I need you to practice.”

“Dude, chill, I’ve been practicing!”

“Then can you show me your double twist dash-melee maneuver?”

Cole blinked at him. “My what?”

“That’s what I thought. Here, let me show you. We’ll try until you’ve got it down.”

“Who put you in charge?”

“You did. Literally. You guys chose me to be the team captain for the competition.”

“Whatever.”

“Lloyd, come here, so he has someone to practice on.”

“Why me?” “Because you need to work on your stealth. Kai got that jump on you surprisingly easily. You’re a good fighter, Lloyd, but fighting doesn’t matter if your enemy kills you before you have the chance. Practice your stealth and dodging on Cole.”

“Ready to get your butt kicked, bud?” Cole reached his hands out, cracking his knuckles before picking up the controller.

“Ha! You wish. The only one who will be getting their butt kicked is-”

The sharp rapping of something against the floor interrupted him, and they turned to see Master Wu standing behind them, his gaze disapproving as he clutched his staff firmly in hand.

“Students, what do you think you’re doing?”

“Uhh, practicing for the Critical Conquest tournament?” Nya said. “I thought that was pretty obvious!”

Wu glared at her. “I know what you’re doing. But I’m afraid I’m going to have to cut all this short. The six of you have many chores to do.”

“Chores?” they cried in unison.

“The past week since you bought that game, you have done nothing but sit around on that couch and play it. In all that time, your chores have piled up. Now, I’m cutting you off. They need to be done, now.”

“But Master!” Jay pleaded. “The tournament starts in only a few hours!”

Master Wu smirked. “Well, I guess you better be fast, then.”

---

The ninja stared down at the alarmingly long list Master Wu had given them, no one speaking a word for nearly a solid minute.

“Why,” Kai groaned, “did we ever put all of these off?”

“Why didn’t Master Wu just let us wait one more day to do the chores?” Jay complained. “The tournament would be all over then!”

“Well, he didn’t,” Cole said. “So there’s no use in complaining. We might as well get started.”

“Alright, guys, if we’re going to get through all of this before the tournament starts, we’re gonna have to divide and conquer,” Nya said. “Let’s see. Zane, Lloyd, you guys take the kitchen. Jay, Cole, you can check the vehicles to make sure they’re operating properly- wait, scratch that, Cole doesn’t know shit about mechanics. Besides, putting you two alone together is never a good idea.”

“Hey!”

“Zane, you go with Jay on the machines. Cole, you’re with Lloyd. Kai and I will work outside on raking and fixing the training course.”

“Hey, no fair, you just gave yourself the easiest job!” Cole grumbled.

“I’ll inform you that raking leaves is very mundane!”

“Yeah!” Kai snapped. “Especially when it’s cold out like this. I’m gonna freeze my fingers off!”

“You’re the fire ninja, you’ll figure something out,” Nya snapped. “C’mon, let’s go.”

“Hey, Cole? You think this is so easy? We can trade places! You wanna trade places?”

“Actually, I’ve decided to be nice and let you take this one.”

Kai glared at him. “You’re only saying that because you know I hate it!” Cole leaned back against the table, smirking. “Maybe.”

“Come on, Kai, we’re going.” Nya grabbed his hand and yanked him out the door.

“I guess we better get working,” Cole sighed. “Jay, Zane, you guys need a copy of your tasks?” Zane shook his head. “I’ve got the list committed to memory. And there’s a lot to do, so we better go.”

As they left the room, Cole turned to Lloyd. “Put a check mark or something by the things the others are doing, so we can see what’s left for us.”

Lloyd made little marks next to the tasks, his pencil slowing as it reached the end. His frown deepened. “I swear, this list is getting longer. Some of these are just ridiculous! Polish the counters? Clean out the oven? Dust the tops of the cabinets? Who does these things?”

“Normal people, Lloyd. It’s not my fault that we’re so busy saving the city that you’ve never done anything more than the most basic chores in your life.”

“I’ve done chores!” “Darkley’s doesn’t count, bud. I bet the only thing you did there was clean spiders out of your bed.”

“They were fire ants,” Lloyd grumbled.

Cole turned on him with wide eyes. “What?”

Lloyd stiffened, suddenly seeming to realize what he had just said. “Uh… I mean… don’t tell Kai, okay?”

Cole stared at him for a moment, before sighing. “I’ll let it go, this once. But only because you’ve had a lot worse things than fire ants since then. Those kids are jerks, though.”

“I know.”

“... They really did that?”

“Yes, Cole! Do I need to show the scars to prove it?”

“No! I was just- you know what, forget I even said anything. Let’s get to work. First up, doing the dishes.” They turned towards the sink, where dozens of dirty plates and cups had accumulated.

“Seriously? Doesn’t anyone ever clean off their dishes after eating?”

Cole shot him a look. “Name one time you did that.”

“Okay, so never, but we’re ninja, not dishwashers! What do you expect?”

“Never put off until tomorrow what can be done today, Lloyd.”

Lloyd groaned. “I can’t believe I’m missing Critical Conquest for this.”

---

“Jay! You’re supposed to be repairing the sentry cannons on the Land Bounty!” “Chill out, Zane, I’ll get to it in a minute-”

Zane suddenly snatched the remote control out of his hand. “Jay! We’re never going to finish in time for the tournament if you don’t focus! Stop playing with toys!” “It’s not a toy!” He gestured towards the small remote-controlled robot. “This thing is going to be a major distraction! It could make it or break it for us in battle!”

Zane eyed the robot skeptically. “This. Distract our enemies?”

“Well, I was going to make it into a smoke bomb, but someone kept pestering me!” “Look, Jay, this isn’t the time to work on your inventions. You can do that later. Right now, you need to fix the sentries.”

“I already looked at the sentries,” he whined. “They were completely fried in our last adventure. I have to rewire the whole thing.”

Zane blinked at him. “Isn’t… that kind of your job?”

“Yeah, well, it’s hard work! I don’t want to do it! I’ll take any other chore on your list.”

“Well, someone needs to do it, and you’re the only one who knows how.”

“Not true! Why don’t you ask Pixal?”

He gestured towards the nindriod, who was tinkering with what appeared to be a small metal box.

“Pixal,” he called, walking over to her, “do you know how to rewire the sentries?” “Yes, but I know for a fact that Jay does, too. I’m not doing it for you.”

“Aww, come on, Pix,” Jay groaned. “Why don’t you have to do anything while the rest of us are all working our butts off?”

She glanced wryly at Jay’s little robot, who was waving cheerfully at her. “I wouldn’t exactly call it that. But I’m not helping because I already did all my chores while the rest of you were playing video games.”

Jay went pink in the face, and even Zane felt himself avoiding Pixal’s gaze.

“Critical Conquest is very important,” Jay muttered.

“More important than making sure all our weapons are operational? Or restocking the medbay?”

“We can do those things any time! The competition is a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity!”

“Actually, there is another one next month-”

“Shut up, Zane. With our luck, we’ll probably be fighting evil nindroids or will be locked inside a different realm by that point, anyway.”

“I’m not helping you,” Pixal sniffed. “So I don’t know why you’re still here.”

Not taking Pixal’s… not-so-subtle hints, Jay leaned in towards her. “Whatcha workin’ on?”

Pixal eyed him warily. “... It’s a jetpack. I wanted to make something more compact in case I was in a situation where I couldn’t use the Samurai X suit.”

“That’s cool! Although, it might work better if you recalibrated the engines to-”

“Jay,” Pixal said sharply. “I know what I’m doing. Please go work on your chores.”

“Yeah, yeah,” he grumbled. “No one ever lets me have any fun.”

Zane shook his head, wandering over to the Earth Driller where he was working on replacing the paneling that had been damaged in the Oni incident.

He couldn’t have been doing so for more than fifteen minutes when the sound of a small explosion interrupted him.

Zane jerked to his feet, dashing over to where the sound had come from.

Jay had jumped back from Pixal’s jetpack, which was now black and smoking.

Of course it was.

“What happened?”

Jay scratched his head nervously. “Well, you see… I really didn’t want to work on those sentries, so when I noticed Pixal stepping out of the room for a moment…”

Zane sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose. “Are you alright?”

Jay grinned. “Right as rain. Not even a scar like last time!”

“Okay, that’s good, now I feel less bad for saying this- what were you thinking?”

“I couldn’t help myself, Zane! She calibrated it all wrong!”

“Well, evidently, you were the one who did it wrong, seeing as it exploded within five minutes of you getting your hands on it.”

Jay jumped nearly a foot in the air. “Pixal! You’re back! Ah… um, I’m really sorry about your jetpack, I was only trying to…”

Pixal marched forward, snatching it off the floor. “It doesn’t matter, it’s done now.”

“I can fix it-”

“You’ve done quite enough,” Pixal snapped. “Why don’t you just go finish your chores now?”

“But-”

Pixal held up the burnt jetpack, shaking it lightly. “You owe me.”

“Fine,” Jay groaned. “I’ll rewire the stupid sentries.”

---

“If I have to rake one more pile of leaves, something is going to end up on fire.”

“Well, luckily for you, that was the last of them.” Nya set down her rake, rubbing her hands together. “Now we just have to dispose of the leaf bags.”

She and Kai glanced over towards the towering pile of leaf bags, and Kai groaned.

“It’s going to take forever to throw these all away!”

“Kai, the dumpster is just on the other side of the Monastery wall!”

“Yeah, but we can only carry a few bags at a time, and we’re going to have to make so many trips!”

“Well, unless you’ve got a better idea, we don’t have a choice.”

Kai paused, his eyes lighting up. “Wait-”

“No, Kai, we are not burning the leaves.”

“I wasn’t going to say that! Although… it’s not a half-bad idea…”

“Kai!” “Okay, okay, no burning! What I was going to say was, why don’t we just toss the bags over the wall and into the dumpster?”

Nya frowned. “We’d miss half of them and then have to go over there anyway and pick them all up.”

“No, we could do it like in Critical Conquest! Remember? The ground-bash move? This is just like that!”

“Kai, that’s just a video game. This is real life!” “Yeah, but wouldn’t it still work?”

Nya frowned, stepping forward and eyeing up the roof of the Monastery. “I suppose if we got the right angle… we’d have to make sure an ample amount of newtons were applied with each hit to reach the correct velocity… and of course we’d have to take into consideration factors like density and wind acceleration per second and its tendency to carry-”

“Okay, okay, enough with your science-y nerd stuff!”

“It’s just basic physics, Kai. I mean, there are a lot of external factors to consider that wouldn’t be present in a lab setting, although I still think it would be quite simple-”

“Would it work or not?” Kai interrupted. “Yes or no, I want a one-word answer.”

“Yes. We just need to get the proper positioning-”

“Can I be the one bashing the bags?”

Nya sighed. “Only if you do exactly as I tell you-”

“Whoooooo!” Kai cried, running off to grab the rake as he swung it around fiercely. “Who’s ready to bash some leaf bags?”

“Kai! I said to do exactly as I say-”

---

Despite Nya’s initial trepidations, the process did not end up being a total disaster, and they actually ended up getting the chore done decently quickly. Now all they had left to do was to test and recalibrate the training course.

Nya glanced down at her watch. Only an hour and a half until the tournament started. Her chances of getting extra practice on those tricky combos were looking slimmer by the second. Hopefully, Kai’s mastery of the game, Jay’s high skill levels, and Cole’s advanced items and power-ups would be enough to help them beat-

“Nya!” Kai shrieked. “I said, turn it off!”

Nya snapped out of her thoughts, glancing up at her brother, who had been knocked to the ground by a whirring training dummy. “Oh, shit!” She spun towards the controls and shut them down, jogging over to Kai. “Are you okay?”

“Yeah, I think so, I just-” Kai reached for her extended hand, pulling back with a sharp cry as they made contact.

“What?” “My hand,” he grimaced. “It hurts like hell.”

---

“You can’t throw out the Eggo Waffles!” Lloyd insisted, grabbing at the box in Cole’s hands

“Lloyd, they expired three days ago.”

“So what, they’re still edible.”

“They’re going.” Cole gave the box a strong tug, jerking it out of Lloyd’s hands and dropping it in the garbage. Lloyd huffed, crossing his arms.

“Kai would’ve let me keep them.”

“No, he wouldn’t have, because he doesn’t want you to get food poisoning.”

Lloyd paused for a moment, before amending, “Jay would’ve let me keep them.”

Cole sighed. “Yeah, and then you guys would’ve eaten them, and we would’ve ended up with two sick ninja.”

“I wouldn’t get sick! I have these super cool powers that protect me-”

“We don’t have any proof of that. We still don’t know exactly what your powers do.”

“Which means we can’t rule that out yet!”

Cole rubbed his head. “Out of all the people I could’ve gotten stuck cleaning out the freezer with… it had to be you. The one who gets emotionally attached to frozen waffles.”

“I am not emotionally attached-”

“Are you kidding me? He can’t play with this on! This thing is stiff, it seriously restricts his movement!” “It’s not a question, Jay, he needs to keep it on!”

“Is it actually that bad, though? Couldn’t he skip it for one game?”

“Not unless you want it to get worse!” Cole and Lloyd exchanged a glance and stepped out into the hallway, where the other four ninja were gathered.

“What’s going on?”

Zane opened his mouth to speak. “There was-”

“Kai!” Lloyd interrupted suddenly, darting over to him. “What happened to your hand?”

Cole blinked, realizing for the first time that Kai had a swathe of bandages wrapped around his hand.

Kai yelped in pain as Lloyd touched it, and the green ninja recoiled, his eyes widening in guilt. “Oh my gosh, I’m sorry!”

Nya rolled her eyes. “Don’t apologize, Lloyd, he’s fine. He’s just being a big baby about all of this.”

“Am not. It hurts!”

Zane stifled a sigh. “Kai, it is only a bad pulled muscle. Apart from being painful and needing plenty of rest, it’s nothing serious.”

“Well, you don’t know what it feels like,” Kai snapped. “It’s a lot worse than ‘nothing serious.’”

“I scanned you. I am quite certain my diagnosis is correct.”

Nya snickered, and Kai shot her a look. “Shut up, you. You’re the one who did this to me.”

“You’re the one who wasn’t paying attention!” “Yeah, well, you’re the one who was supposed to be-”

“Guys!” Jay cried. “Can’t you see we have more pressing matters at hand? Severe injury or not, Kai can’t play Critical Conquest like this. And he’s our best player!”

“Alright,” Lloyd said. “So we don’t have our best player anymore. That’s bad. But Jay’s still a beast! And Cole, and Nya, and everyone except me, basically-”

“He could be the worst player in all of existence and it still wouldn’t matter,” Cole pointed out. “We need six players to compete or they will disqualify us.”

“But if Kai can’t play, we have no one else! There are no backups!” Nya huffed, turning on Jay. “You’re our team captain! Why didn’t you prepare any backups?”

“Because we know no one else! We live in an isolated monastery at the top of the tallest mountain for miles, what did you expect? Besides, I wasn’t anticipating this to happen!” Zane frowned. “Well, if Kai can’t play, and we have no backup, then our only choice is to drop out-”

“Wait!” Jay cried suddenly. “I think I might have an idea of someone.”

---

“Please please please please-”

Pixal raised an eyebrow at him. “Do you really think begging is going to change my mind?”

“Please, Pixal, we need a sixth player, and you’re the only person I can think of!”

“Why would I help you after you blew up my jetpack?” Kai gaped at him. “You what?”

Jay fought back the heat spreading across his face. “That’s not important right now! Pixal, I promise I’ll fix it, just please compete with us!”

Pixal frowned at him, which wasn’t the most reassuring answer.

“C’mon Pix- I’ll do anything.”

“I don’t know, Jay-”

“We’ll do all your chores for the next month.”

“What?” “We will?”

“Jay, what the heck! We never agreed to that!”

Pixal smiled at him. “I would’ve accepted it if you offered a week, but that’s very generous of you.”

The others shot him smoldering glares, and Jay groaned. “It doesn’t matter, we don’t have time for this.” Glancing down at his phone, he sucked in his breath. “We’ve only got an hour until the tournament! Zane, can you teach Pixal how to play?”

Zane blinked at him. “In an hour?”

“Just cover the basics. We don’t have time for perfection. Just teach her as much as you can before the tournament starts.”

“Alright, I’ll see what I can do.”

As soon as they were out of the room, Jay wheeled around, moaning. “We are so hooped! She doesn’t know how to play! Kai, how could you be careless enough to injure yourself?”

“Oh, sure, blame the victim!” Kai snapped. “Would it kill you to show a little sympathy to your injured teammate?”

“You pulled a muscle, you baby!” Nya groaned. “Pixal’s a fast learner, hopefully, she’ll get the hang of it.”

“Fast learner or not, nothing can beat hours of experience,” Lloyd said. “Let’s just hope the other contestants aren’t as good.”

---

“These dudes are insane!”

Jay continued to scroll through the queued-up players, examining their stats, his jaw dropping. “How much have these people been grinding?”

“So much for an easy win,” Lloyd grumbled.

Zane and Pixal walked into the room, holding their controllers. “I think I’ve done everything I can with Pixal. The competition starts in five minutes, I suggest we get ready.”

“Alright.” Jay turned towards Pixal as Zane worked on setting up the game. “We’re going to need your help, but since you don’t have experience, I think the best move is to have you stay behind us and play defense.”

Pixal smirked. “I’ll do my best.”

“Guys, we have to queue up!” “Are the headsets working?”

“They’re ready, what about the controllers? All charged?”

“We really shouldn’t be checking these kinds of things literally three minutes before the tournament, but yes, they are.”

“Hurry, guys! It’s about to start!”

Zane blinked at the screen. “Jay… you named our team the Fast Chickens?”

“It’s a good name!” The others groaned, and Jay glared at them. “We’ll see who’s complaining when we win this thing!”

Jay fidgeted through most of the opening speeches from the hosts of the competition as they went over rules and procedures. And, after what simultaneously felt like both a million years later and only the blink of an eye, the game was finally starting. They got lucky with their spawn point, and after a few minutes, were able to collect some good resources and get a good start. Cole, Zane, and Nya were able to take down some of the weaker groups before they collected supplies while Jay and the others continued collecting and building up defenses.

Checking the score count, he could see there were already twenty teams down in various parts of the map, and he knew his team had been responsible for felling three of them. Jay couldn’t stop himself from smiling. It seemed like nothing could be going better.

That is, until they suffered a major blow on the southwestern flank of their territory against a high-level team- the CrownViolets, they called themselves. (Which was nowhere near as cool sounding as the Fast Chickens, Jay totally wasn’t insecure about that at all.) After a fierce fight that ended up costing them several lives- and robbing Zane of his last, taking him out of the game- they realized they couldn’t win this fight and backed down, sacrificing a sizeable chunk of their turf.

While still monitoring that boundary, they decided to primarily focus on expanding in the other direction. Their tactic seemed to be working well, and although the CrownViolets kept on encroaching on them from the boundary, the other teams weren’t backing down, and although none managed to defeat the rival team, they were certainly taking their tolls on them. Jay hoped that the other teams would eventually take the Violets out for them, although he had to admit that would be extremely lucky.

They were getting down to the last few teams in the tournament. When the top ten were remaining, special, more deadly weapons were hidden around, and with them, teams began to fight back harder. The Fast Chickens held their own, but by the time they were down to two teams remaining- them and the CrownViolets- both Jay and Lloyd had been killed and eliminated. Only Cole, Nya, and Pixal remained. The CrownViolets still had four players left, but they were weak. If the ninja were strategic enough, they could still win this.

But Pixal was a major hindrance. She had been plenty good at holding back and defending them, but now, with so few left, she was going to have to start playing a more active role. If only Kai had still been there.

“Alright, they’re somewhere around here.” Nya’s character pulled up her radar. “There seems to be two of them right up ahead-”

“Alright, Pixal.” Jay leaned over her shoulder, coaching her. “You’re going to have to start getting offensive. Nya says there’s only two, so there shouldn’t be a problem, but there could be an ambush, or these two could have higher health. We don’t want to take any chances. While Nya and Cole rush them, you should stay back and shoot at them with your launchers. Your character has good accuracy scores.”

There was a flash of purple, and muffled shouting, and Nya froze. “There they are! Let’s get them, guys!”

The three plunged into the fight, and although it was a tough battle, their opponents were relatively low on health, and they ended up eliminating the two CrownViolets- unfortunately, with the loss of Nya before doing so.

“It’s just the two of us left, Pixal,” Cole said, “but there’s also only two of them, as well. We can do this. Just stick close to me. They’re around here somewhere.”

“And that somewhere is here!” Pixal shrieked suddenly, whirling around.

Cole’s eyes widened. “One of their teammates must’ve sent out a distress signal before they died!” He grappled for his weapon, but in his haste, his grip was sloppy.

Pixal, however, barely hesitated, diving at their opponent and attacking in a flurry of blows. Jay’s eyes nearly bulged out of his head as she performed a complex combo it had taken him a full day to learn.

Zane smiled at all their gaping mouths. “I told you to have faith in her.”

Cole was evidently shocked too, and within a few moments, he was dead- although not before delivering a nearly fatal blow to his opponent. Pixal quickly finished him off before turning to face the last remaining player.

“Be careful, Pix,” Jay warned. “She still has pretty high health. Don’t get cocky, or take dumb risks.”

“Dumb risks are your thing,” Pixal corrected, not even batting an eye as she darted past her opponent, slashing her with her sword.

The CrownViolet wasn’t giving up, though. She pushed back, throwing down a smoke bomb and suddenly pushing Pixal down from behind. Pixal rolled out of the way, missing her sword by inches, and sprung up, taking the moment of surprise to her advantage to knock her opponent down. As the rival started crawling away, Pixal’s character took a potion, powering up a special move. The opponent knocked her down as she was waiting to power up, but before she could get a good attack in, Pixal was ready and was blasting her a beam of light.

The girl’s avatar fell to the ground, dead.

There was a beat of silence, then their living room erupted in cheers.

“Pixal! You did it! You won the game for us!”

“I can’t believe it! We actually won! Without Kai!”

“Hey,” Kai yelped. “That didn’t sound like it was meant to be a compliment.”

“What do you mean,” Lloyd said. “That was totally a super nice thing I just said about you.”

Kai narrowed his eyes. “A bit backhanded, don’t you think?”

“Guys, none of that is important!” Cole cried. “We won! Out of all the gamers in the city! We actually won!”

“But I have to know,” Jay insisted. “How did you get so good at the game?”

Pixal shrugged. “I guess you pick up a thing or two watching your team play a game obsessively for the past week.”

Jay blinked. “You’ve been watching us?”

She scowled. “I’ve been doing the chores in here, lightning brain! Repairs, laundry, picking up after you- you’ve just been too obsessed by your game to even notice me!”

“Oh, really? Uh, that’s my bad…”

“Speaking of which, you promised to do my chores, and I’m looking forward to a nice, relaxing evening off.”

“Did I?” Jay laughed nervously. “Hey, did I ever mention that the tournament winners get a cash prize-”

Pixal handed him a mop. “Nice try. Although I still expect my fair share of the earnings by the end of the week. Good luck.” The ninja just gazed at her in horror, and she laughed.

“You’re going to need it.”

#ninjago #ninbingo #my fic #rosie writes #jay walker #ninjago kai #ninjago cole #ninjago zane #lloyd garmadon #ninjago nya #pixal borg #LOOKIE HERE #IT'S FLUFF #SEE FABRO??!?! #I TOLD YOU I COULD WRITE HAPPY STUFF #i mean i may be an angst queen but even I have to give our babies a break sometimes #and i do love writing hijinks and shenanigans so #here are some! #thanks for reading! #reblogs and comments greatly appreciated!

[multiplefandomsblog]

Kazuichi, Byakuya, Gundham, Rantaro, Gonta, Leon, and Toko with an ultimate Broadway actress s/o

Desc; headcanons of kazuichi, byakuya, gundham, rantaro, gonta, leon, toko with an ultimate broadway actress s/o

Warnings; i tried to make this spoiler free, fem!reader, reader uses female pronouns, i guess this takes place at hope’s peak academy? pre-tragedy?? i dont really know about the v3 boys, haven’t finished the game lmao-

Gundham:

◊ He already knows a bunch about Musicals; especially the darker ones.

◊ He thinks your Ultimate is amazing, he loves all your plays.

◊ Neither of you know which between the two of you is more dramatic.

◊ Your dramatic personalities often intertwined, merging the two of you and making you both into one huge drama queen.

◊ It gives everyone a headache as you both scream, “My toe hurts!-” “My king’s toe hurts! Someone bring an ambulance, stat!”

◊ “Someone get the fucking chlorofoam-” “Hiyoko no-”

◊ This is a bad example, but you get my point-

◊ He enjoys Shakespeare and dark love story plays/musicals.

◊ So he would definitely enjoy acting one with you on stage, if you let him.

◊ He’ll somehow incorporate his Dark Devas into the play just for an excuse to bring them with him on-stage.

◊ Once he was playing Romeo and abandoned Juliet to save Cham-P after he ran offstage to eat a sunflower seed someone dropped on the floor.

◊ Fuck Juliet, mans knows his priorities.

◊ He’s kind of a musical theatre nerd, he enjoys discussing the message behind musicals you’ve played.

◊ Throwing in some compliments about how well you perceived the character, and how pretty you looked.

◊ He is always extremely proud and amazed at your ability to sing, dance and act so well all at the same time.

◊ He believes you don’t get enough credit for doing what you do, so he makes sure you know how proud he is of you.

◊ He sometimes quotes Shakespeare or some other dark musical while you two hung out, it was kinda cute seeing him geek out like that.

◊ “As said in ‘The Merry Wives of Windsor’, Better three hours too soon than a minute too late." Gundham quoted, pride laced in his words as he was proud of remembering that. “Gundham... it’s literally 5 am in the morning, the party starts at 12 pm. Go back to sleep.” Gundham blinks and nearly falls asleep where he stood. “Mmkay.”

◊ If he saw you dress up as the witch in Wicked, he would be whipped.

◊ His evil queen? In an evil costume? A dream come true!

◊ He thinks you look absolutely fabulous and praises you a bunch after the show, telling you how pretty you looked while you acted.

Kazuichi

◊ He wouldn’t know much about musical theatre, since he’s more into machines.

◊ But when you told him to come to a play you were going to star in, he jumped at the offer.

◊ 90 minutes of you? He must be the luckiest guy in the world!(Nagito would be proud)

◊ After watching his first play, he decides he is obsessed with musical theatre now, going to all your shows.

◊ He loves all the romance based musicals, he’s a sucker for romance what can he say?

◊ He’d obsess over all your plays, going into a lot of detail about his favourtite parts.

◊ He’s kinda like, your #1 fan.

◊ He has posters of musicals you’ve starred posted around his dorm room, just a bunch of merch of you and all the musicals you starred in.

◊ When you tell him he has a backstage pass because he’s your boyfriend, he is overjoyed. 

◊ He actually trained a bit to be one of the backstage crew members.

◊ He learned how to fix your make up during intermissions, fix a loose stitch on your costume, all that good stuff.

◊ Though every time he sees your face up close for make up, he goes speechless.

◊ He wonders every time, how the hell did he get someone like you?

◊ Though his hands are shaking from how nervous he was, he still managed to make you look absolutely amazing.

◊ He’d blast a bunch of musical soundtracks while he works on his machines, screwing on and unscrewing things with a bop.

◊ I can imagine Kazuichi jamming with you in the car. The car moving violently as you two bounced to the rhythm like mad men.

◊ I think he’d get pretty insecure if he saw you with a love interest, he would think that when you two shared a staged kiss or scene, that it was actually full of love and not fake

◊ But when you cheer him up and tell him how much you love him, he realizes he was being silly over nothing.

◊ After watching many many romance musicals, you notice he gets more romantic; most likely mimicking the love interests.

◊ He is still a bit insecure, but if he does more romantic things, you’ll love him right?

◊ You enjoy the silly grand gestures of love, but you try and assure him constantly that you don’t need any of it.

◊ You only need him <3

Rantaro:

◊ w o a h

◊ He’d love the fact that you’re an actress

◊ He thinks it’s so cool like-

◊ constant fanboying after shows

◊ He’s always bringing you flowers once you’re off the stage, showering you with praises and affections

◊ He’s literally so proud of you wtf??

◊ i think he’d be the type to show you off a lot

◊ “Hey you!” He points at a naked passerby(this is an inside joke, i am so sorry), “Guess what? My girlfriend’s a Broadway actress!” “Rantaro stop, people are staring-” “Are they? hEY YOU! YEAH, YOU STARING!! MY GIR-”

◊ if you ever started spitting out hamilton raps, he’d be the one beatboxing in the back ground for you.

◊  “Pshh, packow, psshh psshh, packow!” “How does a bastard, orphan, son of a-” 

◊ you two would jam out to musical soundtracks in your dorm, dancing dramatically as you did.

◊ you two kinda become like a duo of musical theatre kids.

◊ if you stood on a table and started belting lyrics, he would hop on and join you

◊ unless it was a solo, he would never steal your thunder.

◊ if you ever felt a bit nervous before a big show, he would assure you that’d you’d do great and tell you how much he believed in you until you felt better.

◊ he’s your charger before and after a big show.

◊ if you felt exhausted from acting and dancing around the stage, he’s always there to give you what you need most.

◊ whether it’s water, food, flowers, or just him and his cuddles, he always has it ready for you.

◊ the most recent musical soundtrack that you’ve played will be stuck in his head.

◊ For example, if you recently played in Hairspray, ‘Mama, I’m a big girl now!’ will be stuck in his head until the next play he watches.

◊ you’d catch him humming it during everything he does, 

◊ and it’s actually so fricking adorable.

◊ if you heard him sing a familiar tune, you would hum along with him.

◊ “Hmm, mmwhen I was, just a kid ♪” 

◊ Your ears perked up at the familiar tune, slowly you turned around to face him.

◊ “♪....You never let me do just what the older kids did…♪” You joined in quietly, Rantaro whipped his head towards you, a rising smile on his face.

◊ “♪ But lose that laundry list of what you won't allow ♪,” His voice rose slowly in excitement, pointing at you with a big grin across his face.

◊ And at the same time, you both sang obnoxiously loud, as if it was rehearsed, “♪ 'Cause mama, I'm a big girl now! ♪” Running to each other with excitement, 

◊ You let out a fit of giggles as Rantaro picked you up, “MY WIFE, PLEASE BE MY WIFE!” 

◊ This is how you two met and you can’t tell me otherwise-

Gonta:

◊ Gonta wouldn’t know much about Broadway musicals- which to you, a broadway actress, was unacceptable!

◊ so you made it your mission to get him to watch as many musicals as he possibly can.

◊ You’d tell him to come to all your plays, him excitedly agreeing despite not knowing what a play is.

◊ You’d do extra good knowing that Gonta was in the crowd watching you, wanting to give him the best first experience with musicals.

◊ He’d applaud at the end of every scene, trying to show his support the best he can.

◊ for his first play he watches, he ends up clapping a bit too early.

◊ he cheered and applauded super loud when he saw you on stage, but stopped when he realized everyone was staring at him.

◊ Though it was a bit embarrassing for both you and him, you felt your heart flutter at how his first instinct was to clap for you when you walked in stage.

◊ You’d introduce him to various musicals, beauty and the beast being his favourite.

◊ He definitely starts to obsess over the more ‘gentlemanly’ characters.

◊ his first impressions of the beast were bad; Denying that old lady shelter? How ungentlemanly!!

◊ so when the dude got cursed, he cheered lmao

◊ but as he kept watching, he could see the beast wasn’t too bad. 

◊ The beast had some flaws, but he obviously cared for belle, he thought.

◊ Oh but he hated Gaston, he really really hated him.

◊ If you acted with someone who played Gaston(and you as belle), he would have to hold back and not rip his face off every time Gaston said something idiotic or sexist.

◊ He had to keep reminding himself that, that Gaston wasn’t real(and thank god for that, real gaston would’ve been torn to shreds.)

◊ the dancing scene was his favourite part for sure.

◊ He’s sad he doesn’t get to play beast with you, but he still enjoys the scene nonetheless.

◊ something cute I can imagine him doing is surprising you by dressing up in a prince costume from the musical and asking you for a dance. 

◊ It’s the cutest thing ever oml-

◊ It’s such a beautiful moment, you two just dancing together in a random room with no care in the world.

◊ Your arms wrapped his extravagant costume and his arms wrapped around your pj’s.

◊ He’s a bit shy to be so close to you, but he tries his best to be confident and as princely as he could so he pushes his anxiety aside.

◊ As his stomach fills with butterflies, he becomes slightly confused and concerned, ‘Did Gonta eat butterflies??’ He slightly panics-

◊ ‘Those poor butterflies!!’

◊ He’d watch a lot of videos on how to ballroom dance in advance for this moment.

◊ He’s actually not that bad!

◊ Well- as long as you dance with your feet on his, so he doesn’t crush your toes.

◊ If you ever did some beauty and the beast scenes for him, he would be so happy. 

◊ He’d be even happier if you let him play the beast with you.

◊ He’d be smiling the entire time during a fight/sad/serious practice scene.

◊ *almost gets stabbed* “Haha oh no!” 

◊ When you sing during one of the scenes, he kinda just-

◊ becomes a puddle of a gentleman.

◊ his heart melts and disintegrates(haha what) of love for you. 

◊ he absolutely loves your voice, and would beg for you to sing him one of the soundtracks from beauty and the beast before bed.

◊ He’s really proud of all your plays, and is extremely happy that you–of all people–are his girlfriend.

Byakuya Togami

◊ In all honesty, he thinks your ultimate isn’t all that great.

◊ But as he watches one of your plays, his mind ultimately(see what i did there?) changes.

◊ He becomes impressed and dazzled from how passionate you look when you act, not noticing how you had him sitting on the edge of his seat.

◊ After watching you act, he literally cannot watch another play unless you are in it, finding it unworthy of his time and money.

◊^^this is before you two got together,

◊ you two got together after you found him in your crowd, applauding like the rest of them with the same bewildered expression on his face.

◊ You confronted him and he attempted to compliment your acting, but he accidentally let his feelings for you slip out instead, “I find you truly captivating- Wait no, I-I meant your plays. Your plays, they are truly captivating.” You watched in amusement as he stumbled with his words, eventually interrupting him with an, “Are you available right now?”

◊ So yeah, eventually you two get together, and good for Togami! Because now he doesn’t have to secretly applaud you as a fan, he can applaud you whenever and as your lover.

◊ After shows, he’d give you a single rose as a congrats or applause (so romantic!)

◊ If you ever decided to be chaotic and start belting out lyrics, he would just sigh and let you finish.

◊ Very rarely, you would catch him humming a small tune of a musical song you sang.

◊ But very very rarely. If you ever catch him and confront him about it, he will deny it completely.

◊ I think he’d probably like the more serious plays, he enjoys the meanings and emotions of them more than the sillier and playful ones.

◊ If he ever watched Mean Girls, he would start to slightly mimic Regina George.

◊ “Byakuya wha-” “Get in peasant, we’re going shopping.” 

◊ It’d be lowkey hot when you hear him sass you like Regina George tho-

◊ He’d have more big dick energy after watching Mean Girls, emitting his dominance to everyone.

◊ Makoto during a class trial: “So we know that she was at the scene of the crime, right?” “Shut up.” Byakuya flipped his imaginary long hair as Makoto stares at him in confusion, silence filling the room. “Shut up!” “I didn’t even say anything-”

◊ “The new motive is going to be-!” “Whatever, I’m getting cheese fries a book.” Byakuya sighed, turning on his heels and catwalking away.

◊ ...

◊ “IT’S PUNISHMENT TIME-!” “MONOKUMA WAIT NO-”

Leon

◊ Would go to every one of your shows.

◊ Would act like an absolute mom in the crowd.

◊*holding a video camera* You’re doing great sweetie!.

◊”That’s my girl!”

◊ You’d get embarrassed every time he does that.

◊ Hypes you up when you get nervous before going on stage.

◊ In back stage, he’d praise you and give you a bouquet of flowers.

◊ Where did they come from? When did he have time to get flowers when he was yelling in the crowed??

◊ Helps you rehearse lines even if he has no idea what they’re about.

◊ Will fight anyone that makes mean comments towards you.

◊ Even if it’s just constructive criticism, he will take it as an insult.

◊ “Hey s/o! You did great! Maybe next time you could-”

◊ Leon: “WHAT DID YOU JUST SAY PUNK!? DO YOU KNOW WHO SHE IS?! I HAVE FRICKING ARMS OF STEEL, I WILL-”

◊ Will take every chance to pick you up and call you a queen.

◊ When you guys watch other plays together, he always says how you’d play a better role or that you’d do so much better.

◊ He is pretty jealous of your talent, he has always wanted to be a singer instead of a baseball star, but his ultimate wouldn’t allow that.

◊ So if you let him sing some musical song duets with you, his heart will be so full.

◊ You make him so happy, he almost breaks into cries.

◊ You two of weekly karoake nights, always singing some Heather’s duet together.

◊ One time, you, Sayaka and Leon sang the Candy Store song, Leon being Heather Chandler, Sayaka as Heather Duke, and you as Heather McNamara.

◊ It was... amazing.

◊ Everyone was cheering, clapping and it praising all of you.

◊ You made Leon feel alive, and he really, really loves you for that.

Toko

◊ She loves your ultimate, and fangirls over you a bunch.

◊ She’s amazed at your confidence to go up in stage, knowing she could never do that.

◊ She thinks your confidence is kinda hot, and decides she is in love.

◊ Likes to add a character in her books that are a lot like you, maybe making them a broadway actress-

◊ She thinks about you a lot, sometimes accidentally blurting out how pretty you were in your last performance in front of everybody.

◊ You confronted her for it, and she almost passed out.

◊ “W-w-why d-do you think t-t-that? D-d-do you th-think you’re b-better than m-me or so-something?” 

◊ You already know her and her inferiority complex, so you don’t take offence to what she said, simply replying with, “I think you’re really cute.”

◊ Toko goes silent, except for a few “!??!??” noises that came out of her.

◊ “... U-uh, a-are you j-joking, be-because that isn’t f-funny!” She flushes, denying that you complimented her.

◊ “I’m not joking, here’s my number! Call me, kay?” You grinned before turning on your heel.

◊ She’s kinda dumbfounded, did her crush just ask her out??

◊ She denies it hard at first, not believing that you asked her out.

◊ Thus, not calling you.

◊ Well, I mean, she kinda did.

◊ She dialed your number one day, feeling a bit lonely.

◊ But as she heard your morning voice, she squeaked and hung up quickly.

◊ She felt her face turn into a fireball, her thoughts going into overdrive from how attractive your voice sounded.

◊ Your voice, she was attracted to your voice.

◊ The next day, when you ask her about what that call was about, she denies it and calls you stupid.

◊ Sprinting away while she screamed, “I-i-idiot!!”

◊ Acts like an absolute tsundere around you.

◊ You constantly flirt with her, trying to get her to accept a date with you.

◊ Being the dramatic hoe you are, you try and give her a declaration of your love.

◊ Knowing she is the Ultimate Writer, and into poems, you write one for her.

◊ You declared your love during one of your plays, knowing she sat in the crowd somewhere.

◊ You interrupted a scene and jumped off stage, “Toko Fukawa!”

◊ Her head perked up in surprise, eyes widening as she saw you on one knee for her.

◊ “W-what are you d-doing!?” She yelped, moving her legs away from you. 

◊ “I am in love with you. Completely and utterly in love with you, everyday when I see you so immersed in writing a book, I believe I am looking at an angel.”

◊ The crowd stared at the both of you, gasps and aws filling the air.

◊ Toko flushed, you watched her while she wrote?

◊ “For every time you’ve told me I was a fool, an idiot, you weren’t wrong. Because I am a fool, a fool in love with you.” You had one had on your chest, looking into her eyes sincerely.

◊ Her eyes glossed over so slightly you couldn’t see, looking around at the crowd before uttering out, “Y-y-you r-really love m-me, h-huh?” Her face contorting into a lopsided smirk, watching as you giggled.

◊ You laughed out, “Absolutely.” 

◊ WHY DID THIS TURN INTO A ONESHOT WHAT WHY WHAT WHYYY

note; thank you so much for reading and sorry for the wait!! we tried our best to finish these together, thank you so much for your patience.

#mod bread #mod chia #mod toby #danganronpa trigger happy havoc #super danganronpa 2 #gonta gokuhara #danganronpa headcanons #gonta x reader #gonta headcanons #rantaro amami #rantaro x reader #rantaro headcanons #gundham x reader #gundham tanaka #gundham headcanons #kazuichi x reader #kazuichi souda #kazuichi headcanons #toko fukawa #toko x reader #toko headcanons #leon kuwata x reader #Leon headcanons #leon kuwata #byakuya togami #byakuya togami x reader #byakuya headcanons