#i’ve been chucking at this for a good 10 minutes

[fanta2y]

this screen cap of true form sukuna is killing me 😭😭

༶•┈┈୨♡୧┈┈•༶ ༶•┈┈୨♡୧┈┈•༶༶•┈┈୨♡୧┈┈•༶

#he’s perplexed #he’s confused #he’s thinking #very hard #about something #he looks so funny #just scratching his head like #hmmm #i can hear his gears turning #LOLL #i’ve been chucking at this for a good 10 minutes #LIKE IDK WHY THIS IS SO FUNNY TO ME #😭😭😭 #who fucked up this house like this good GOD #that’s what he’s thinking #scratching his head like he just woke up from a nap confused on what century he’s in #❥fantas blog

[deadsetobsessions]

As the girl who came up with the Triplet! Tim AU PLEASSEEEEE continue it!!!!! I NEED to see Bruce who thought he had one robin finding out he actually has three separate completely different ones

I gotchu lmfao I think I’ll get to Bruce later? I’m really happy you liked it omg like that idea is so good

——

Their plan was perfect! It would have been perfect, had it not been for Dick Grayson and his nosy face!

Batman might not have known his identity, but Dick Grayson did. He promised to keep it from Batman, but Tim hadn’t exactly thought about his secret identity when he showed up to harass the man into being Robin again.

And now, they’re paying for it.

Tim leaned back and crossed his arms as he watched Dick cradle his head in his hands, looking half a short breath away from a mental breakdown.

“Are you telling me… there’s three of you?”

“Yes, Dick.” Tim sighed, having answered this exact question ten times in the past two minutes.

Dick lifted his head, wide eyes looking a little feverish… no, looking a little manic.

“Tim. Your name is Tim, right? I’m not-”

“Yes, my name is Tim. Technically, so are the others. But the one here with us is Lionel.”

“No, wait, Tim, you understand how this is- insane, right? It’s not even remotely in the realm of mentally healthy.” Dick paused. “Wait, are you skipping school right now?!?”

“Has anyone ever told you your priorities are screwed up, Dick?” Lionel-Tim walked back into the room, hands full of snacks and, most importantly, Dick’s emergency marshmallow bag. Dick turned to Lionel, eyes full of guilt, and grabbed the bag of marshmallows like a dehydrated man in the middle of a desert who’s only couple of feet away from an oasis that he’s been looking for for days.

“Oh my god. I’ve had three younger brothers and I thought they were all the same kid!” Dick wailed, grabbing a handful of marshmallows and stress cramming it into his mouth. Tim threw him a disgusted look.

“To be fair, we made sure to train to act like each other from a really early age,” Tim said, snatching the bag of chips that Lionel chucked at his head. His snack laden triplet plonked himself on the plush spinning chair, shoving a hand inside the bag of gummy worms and cramming it down his throat as he spun around.

“I can’t believe I’ve never even checked up on you at your place!! If I did, I would have noticed it way earlier!”

“Probably not,” Lionel mumbled through his mouthful of colorful gummy worms. “You only caught us because Tim got beat half to death by an edgy crime lord teenager.”

Dick hunched into himself, a myriad of complicated emotions- largely, guilt and fury and heartbreak- wormed its way past his face. Tim glared and threw a chip at his triplet.

“It’s fine, Dick. Lionel’s just being an asshole. We’re taking care of it. Revenge prank.” Tim explained.

“He wouldn’t have caught us and you know it.” Lionel grumbled.

“I’ll help.” Dick mumbled dejectedly.

“You’ll have to get in line, Wing,” Tim went back to his laptop. “My thirds got first dibs, and I’m not planning on staying still either. I’m gonna mess with Jason’s slush funds.”

“He’s got a stash of cash locked up in the fourth safe house, but that’s not interesting. Look!” Lionel proudly displayed a duffle bag- from where he got it from, Dick had no clue- and unzipped it to show batteries, lightbulbs, and random bits and bobs.

“What is that?” Dick asked.

“That’s the second lightbulb in his bathroom light! This is the left battery in his TV remote! And this is half of his back up boot laces. I took all of his 10 mm sockets! And the specialized socket he got for his bike! And this,” Lionel grinned, lifting up a piece of fabric. “Is his pillow case!”

“Niceee.” Tim whistled. He tossed a piece of tech at Lionel. “Sneak back into his house and put that in between his pillows. It’ll keep both sides uncomfortably warm.”

“Fuck yeah!”

“Is… this revenge for almost killing you?” Dick asked.

“It’s either this or complete and total financial ruin, social death, and then actual death.” Tim tapped away at his laptop.

“You’re kind of scary, you know that?”

“We know!” Lionel chirped.

“Base, come in.”

“Base,” Tim quickly replied, laser focused on Archy’s call. Lionel and Dick quieted.

“Hood’s lurking outside the school like a creep,” Archy muttered into the comm, papers rustling behind him.

Dick tensed, upset making itself visible once more.

“You still have the container I gave you this morning in your pocket?”

“Yes.”

Tim smirked in a way that made Dick suddenly have a horrible need to shake and lecture him on the moralities of not becoming a villain. “It’s glitter. Purple and pinks.”

“…Ah.”

“Godspeed, Archy!” Lionel chirped again, sounding slightly more demented.

A moment of silence before-

“Oof!” A puff. “Oh, no! I’m so sorry, mister!”

On the other end of the comm, the gruff voice of a beefy teenager spluttered, “What- why do you- egh- my mouth! The glitter went into- pleh, pleh! What the fuck, kid?!”

“I’m so sorry! It was supposed to be for a project! I worked so hard to mix the colors right! Wait, stay still, mister! I’ll help!”

Archy, eyes wide and innocent, patted some more glitter onto the vigilante.

“No, stop! Stop! You’re getting it on my bike!”

“It’s a pretty color- oh hey, this is open-”

“No! That’s the fuel tank!”

“Oh! Whoops! Sorry!”

As chaos spread on the other side of the comms, Tim and Lionel burst into cackles. Dick choked on the marshmallows, helplessly shaking with laughter.

Lionel whacked at Dick’s back, hysterically giggling.

“That’s- that’s Archy?”

“Archy pretending to be Lionel pretending to be me yeah. I hope he got glitter in the fuel tank.” Tim grinned.

“Want me to patrol tonight to see if he got the glitter out of his bike?”

Lionel jabbed his pointy elbows onto Dick’s shoulders. “Absolutely. Distract him, too! I gotta mess with his safe houses. He’ll never feel comfortable in a safe house ever again.”

“Don’t go overboard, Lionel.” Tim looked up. “But also, I changed his WiFi passwords to 123456, so do with that what you will.”

Lionel grinned. Dick mustered up a smile in response, pushing the guilt away. He had a lot to make up to his little brothers, and if terrorizing Jason was how he was going to accomplish that… well, Dick’s not feeling too nice about Jason right now.

——

Batman squinted suspiciously at a humming Nightwing.

“Something happen?” He managed to ask.

“Hm? Oh, no, I got some nice pictures.”

“…I see.”

Batman, regardless of what his history might suggest, knew how to pick his battles. This? This thing that brought Nightwing’s murder smile? This was one battle he was willing to walk away from.

“Hey, B, you ever think about adopting more kids?”

Batman choked and promptly grappled away. Nightwing cackled.

“You can’t escape the question!”

Batman ran faster.

#Batman #nightwing: maybe i can adopt this time #nightwing being nightwing #nightwing #tim drake is a triplet au #Jason Todd #Tim Drake #Jason getting effectively glitterbombed

[jedifarmerr]

Untimely - Joel Miller x F!Reader/OFC (AFAB).

Summary: Joel might have a little crush on his business partner, but it’s no big deal - really.

This can be read as either pre-canon or AU. Reader has a nickname, but physical description is a blank slate

Rating: E (18+ no minors)

Warnings/Tags: Joel’s POV, readers dad used to be Joel’s boss, discussion of absent parents (not reader), very minor discussion of parental death (again not reader), Joel is kinda awkward when it comes to dating, workplace relationship but without power dynamics, squint and you’ll find an age gap (no exact age is stated but she does have a college degree), pining and lots of it, denial of feelings and all that good stuff, and smut in general. I’m not gonna tag everything or this would get way too long but consent is clearly stated and does not have any major triggers (to my knowledge, but let me know if you catch something).

Word Count: 23,000. This was supposed to be a short one-shot, but got out of control. Oops. This is separated into two parts on AO3

Note: I’m back!! I know it’s been a hot minute, but I’m very very excited and very very nervous to share what I’ve been working on in my absence. But here it is!

---

The first full week of September, and Austin was deadlocked in a nasty heatwave. 

Days like this made Joel wish he’d chosen a job that involved a roof over his head – or maybe just a little shade. Anything would be better than being crushed under the weight of the cruel Texas sun as it poured down through the bare-bone house. Still, Joel hammered his way through it. Even as the sun baked his scalp and covered every inch of his skin in sweat. 

Joel flapped his shirt to dry the cotton sticking to his chest like silicone glue. His walk was more so a waddle, which was honestly his fault for wearing jeans. The denim chafed against his thighs while combing the work site for any loose supplies. All he wanted to do was hop into his work truck, blast the air conditioning and leave, but instead he diligently checked between every wooden beam and around every corner. Despite the lack of drywall leaving barely any hiding spots, it was insane how often Tommy forgot a power drill behind a tub of paint or cement. 

Or somewhere else incredibly stupid. 

Nothing major today, though. Just a few nails that jingled around in his tool belt as he stepped out onto the future front porch, immediately spotting Tommy. Kinda hard to miss with his big ass head poking out the driver side window while puffing on his daily post-work Marlboro. 

“The engine was making that funny noise again,” Tommy claimed, his voice echoing across the dirt lawns and unpaved driveways of the brand new subdivision. 

Joel walked past the rusty-white hood, but heard nothing other than the usual ancient roar. There was the radio in the cab playing Foolish Games by Jewel – a favorite of Sarah’s. 

“Funny noise, huh?” He eyed Tommy with blatant skepticism before slumping into the dusty cloth seat with a thunk. “Well, sounds like it’s fixed now.” 

“Oh yeah good as new.” Tommy burned the soul from his cigarette, then chucked the butt out the window. “This thing’s gotta be what - 10? 15 years old?” 

“Something like that.” Joel didn’t know off the top of his head. The truck had been a part of the company even longer than him, meaning it had to be somewhere closer to 15 than 10. From what he could recall it’d been a few years off mint condition even when Danny first hired him. 

“Then, how the hell is it still running?” 

“Danny’s a smart man who didn’t buy a shitty Chevy,” Joel lightheartedly jabbed at his little brother – a self-proclaimed Chevrolet man, but only because of his buddies. “He knew that Ford was better - built tough.” 

“Well, ain’t lookin’ too tough now,” Tommy pointed out and Joel shrugged. 

As long as the truck got him from one place to the next, he didn’t care if it was taped together by spit and gorilla glue. He knew for a fact Tommy wouldn’t complain either if a new one was coming out of his wallet instead. 

Tommy threw the truck into reverse. “I’m telling you now, you’re gonna regret not buying a new one sooner.” 

“What are you gonna do?” Joel snorted. “Put some sugar in the gas tank?” 

“I don’t have to sabotage this piece of shit - it’ll crap out on its own soon enough,” Tommy said. “Hell, it could even happen today.” 

“Better not,” Joel grumbled, but otherwise went quiet. He didn’t know why Tommy had to put that idea in his head. Sarah was waiting for him at the shop. He couldn’t imagine a worse day for the truck to break down. 

For a mile or so, Joel sat on the edge of his seat, carefully listening to the bumps and groans – typical for a truck around Sarah’s age. The engine rattled as Tommy merged onto Highway 183, but it always did when accelerating. He swore it did. 

Whatever – enough. 

There was paperwork to do. Today’s timesheets were in the glovebox, only halfway complete. So, he pulled out the folder and set to work. At least it offered a distraction from the brakes screeching like a horde of bats during rush hour traffic. 

“Did you ever hear from the concrete guys?” Tommy turned down an obnoxiously loud ad for a car dealership in town. 

Grunting, he curtly nodded. His pen found Harry’s Concrete at the bottom of the sheet and promptly scratched it out with scathing red ink. Just seeing their name triggered a sour taste in his mouth. 

He was used to the concrete guys being flaky, but not like this. These last couple months had been like dandruff in the winter. Brutal. Today, the bastards didn’t even have the balls to call until after lunch. No excuse, either. 

“Third day in a row,” Tommy just had to say, as if he needed a nudge. “In my opinion - I think it’s time to hire somebody else.” 

“Well, you know who to share that opinion with, and it ain’t me,” Joel chided – annoyed. It drove him crazy how often Tommy needed to be reminded of simple things, like what Joel’s role in the business entailed. For God sake – it’d been over a year now since he became a partner in the company. 

Joel could initially understand the confusion. After all, Danny had run the business as a one-man show and everyone, including Joel, thought his daughter would fully take over once he retired. Danny had always said that was the plan anyway, and even named the place: Teddy’s Company. 

Originally, Joel had thought Teddy was her real name until three years ago when he finally got the chance to meet her. But how was he supposed to know when Danny never called her by anything else? It wasn’t like Joel had known much about her back then either, and what little he did came from Danny’s vague and blue-moon updates. 

College is going well. 

Her new job’s treating her good. 

She moved into a new place, seems to like it. 

Short – brief. Some people probably thought Danny was being crusty but that wasn’t the case. No, Danny was never rude or mean, just quiet. A man of few words who on his more mute days could even make Joel look chatty. 

Before meeting her, Joel used to wonder what she’d be like. His future boss. There was a mystery around her that made her seem almost mythical, an enigma. She was like Willy Wonka with her name plastered all over the place: on his shirts, the side of the truck, front and center of the shop. But Joel had no idea who she was. 

Even with a gun to his head, he couldn’t have picked her out of a crowd. Or even a line-up. The only picture he’d seen of her was in a popsicle frame on Danny’s otherwise bare desk: The two of them at a petting zoo where she couldn’t be older than six. 

Without much to go by, Joel had simply assumed that she would look and act, at least somewhat similar to her dad. He’d built Teddy up in his mind as a strong, burly woman who was gruff around the edges. Someone with a sailor’s mouth and stubby fingernails embedded with dirt and grit and grout.

Instead, they were fake and baby pink. She looked like she had never changed a tire in her whole life. 

She probably hadn’t, but she was without a doubt smarter than Tommy and him combined. A graduate from some fancy university in California with an equally fancy business degree. Charming with a nice, smooth voice perfect for sales. If she went to a random street corner to sell bags of cow manure she could sucker anyone, even him, into waiting in line to buy one. 

She was down-right impressive. Finances, pitches, and permits, she could do it all. However, the other side of the business – the manual labor, a little more dirty. 

Joel had not a doubt in his mind that she had the ability to learn it, but did she want to? 

Hell no. 

For one, she had this irrational fear over being electrocuted. Back before Danny retired and she first started working at the front desk, Joel had walked in on her changing out a lightbulb, and you would’ve thought a snake had popped out of the ceiling. He’d mistaken it for a fear of heights until a few months back when Sarah refused to let him shower during a rainstorm. Sarah had looked hysterical using her lanky-arms to body-block the stairs, warning him that he’d get fried if he went up there. 

“Don’t you know dad, lightning can travel through plumbing? Teddy was telling me all about it today.” 

Joel didn’t have a clue where that particular fear stemmed from, but her vendetta against attics, now that he could understand. After all, she’d probably still be in California if not for her dad’s accident. 

It was never Danny’s plan to retire so early. Despite the appointments and constant physical therapy, it’d still caught Joel by surprise, though not as much as Teddy’s offer to run the business alongside her. Together. 50/50. Sure, it came with this boring paperwork, but a bigger paycheck as well. Only a fool would’ve turned that down. 

Besides, promotion or not – he would’ve stayed and worked for her, regardless. 

—

Back at the shop, Joel would usually help Tommy unload the truck, but not today. 

Instead, Joel tucked the file under his arm, hung his tool belt on the rack, then made his way through the garage. He entered through the back door, letting it slam behind him. The cool air greeted him, tingling his tacky skin and he shivered. 

The vents rumbled inside the white hallway walls, echoing around the shop. Along with two voices coming from the lobby. When he heard Teddy’s laugh, he ran a quick hand through his hair, fixing the damp strands away from his forehead. 

He rounded the corner and Teddy was at her desk. Everything from her neck down was cut-off by the high-glass counter, making her look like a floating head. A very nice-looking floating head or a nice head to look at or -

Whatever. 

She was smiling at him – that same honey-golden smile that welcomed him every morning. The same smile he wished was here to welcome him every evening, as well. But with how late he worked most days, it was a hit or miss. He could never guarantee she would still be here, except on the days with Sarah. 

“You’re late,” Sarah said before he could even say hi. 

Joel glanced at the clock above the front door. 5:45. 15 minutes. 

“Barely.” Anything less than thirty was a win in his book. It didn’t matter that Teddy chose to stick around and keep Sarah company, he wouldn’t push it. She was his business partner – not a babysitter. 

“Still late.” Sarah stepped away from Teddy’s desk with her arms crossed menacingly over her chest. If not for the twitch of her lips, she would’ve appeared deadly serious. The girl never could keep a straight face though for more than a second. 

“Let me guess, you’ll forgive me if we can get McDonald’s on the way home?” 

Bingo. Sarah tapped on the tip of her nose and Joel huffed a laugh. 

“Well, Uncle Tommy drove, but we can ask-” 

“We?” Sarah looked at him like he was crazy before shaking her head. “I think I’ll handle this one on my own.” 

“What’re you trying to say?” He asked and her lips curved into a half-cocky, half-play smirk that screamed teenage girl. A stage of life he felt rather unprepared for, even more so than diapers and potty training and 6th grade math. The teenage years were bound to be harder than statistics and exponents and long division. 

“Come on, dad. When has Uncle Tommy ever said no to this?” She showed off her best puppy dog eyes and alright – yeah, poor Tommy didn’t stand a chance. 

But Joel didn’t tell her that. He couldn’t. He was too stunned that the little girl who used to hide behind his legs at the grocery store was the same one who was strutting down the hallway now without even glancing back. 

He shook his head in disbelief and looked over at Teddy. “I don’t know where all this confidence of hers has come from recently,” he said, jabbing his thumb in the direction of the now-shut door. “But I’m guessing it has something to do with you.” 

“Me?” She fluttered her lashes like she was clueless – definitely something she wasn’t. 

“That’s right,” he replied as he approached her desk. Her area always smelled clean and homey like fresh laundry in a field of wildflowers. The last thing he wanted to do was invade her perfumed bubble with the stench of his sweat and that specific twang that came from being outside all day. So, when he caught a strong whiff of her perfume, he stopped and propped his hip against the desk before saying, “I think you’re rubbing off on her.” 

“And is that such a bad thing?” She squinted at him and unlike Sarah, she could actually keep a straight face. 

“No.” He firmly shook his head. “In fact, I meant that as a compliment.” 

In an instant, her flat-line lips split into a wide grin. He smiled in return, stupidly pleased with himself for making her light up like that. His gaze momentarily dropped from her lips to the single button left undone on her shirt. The charcoal gray fabric shined in a way that reminded him of moonlight over Travis Lake. It looked soft and smooth as butter. And not to mention expensive. Joel bet if he touched it, even so carefully, the material would immediately snag under his callouses. 

Teddy motioned for the file and when he handed it over, he felt a draft under his armpit from the hole in his shirt. He glanced down at his jeans, covered in dirt and mud and sawdust. Filthy. He felt a twinge of self-consciousness. It was hard not to feel like a mess next to her sometimes when she was always dressed so goddamn professional with her pressed slacks and tucked in shirts. Anyone who saw her would think she worked for some big corpo with a koi pond in the lobby. Not a Morton building with more garage than office space. 

“They didn’t show?” 

Teddy’s voice jolted his attention back to her face. Her lips were pinched, her cherry red fingernail was bleeding into his own pissed-off pen marks. He mentally cursed himself for being too wrapped up in his own stupid head to warn her about the concrete guys. Good going, idiot. 

There was nothing he could do about it now, except frown and shake his head. “They called and said-” 

“Let me guess, they’ll be there first thing tomorrow?” She bitterly scoffed, clipping the folder shut. The manila spine crunched under her grip before she abruptly turned away from him to face the wall of cabinets behind her. She never said it out loud that it bothered her, but clearly it did and rightfully so. 

Working here this long Joel had witnessed these same people treat her dad with respect only to now try and walk all over her. He found it complete and utter bullshit, but was it a surprise? Sadly, not really. Enough years around construction sites and his tinnitus resembled cat-calls more than a compressor. 

Still, he fucking hated it. His left eye flinched watching her file away the folder in silence. The protective lobe in his brain flared as his fingers curled and burned into a fist at his side. God – he wanted to go to Harry’s Concrete and give that bald loser a piece of his mind and maybe a black eye, but he didn’t. 

He wouldn’t. 

No – instead, he continued to bite his tongue until his mouth flooded with the taste of pennies. He’d become used to the tang of copper in his mouth after the roofers, the plumbers, even the electricians that tried her in the past. The only reason he held himself back was because of her. Because she asked him to let her deal with it, and she was perfectly capable of handling things herself. Better than him at it, in fact. 

Teddy slammed the drawer shut, rattling the entire cabinet. “I’m not gonna fire them.” 

“Okay,” he said without having to think twice. He didn’t expect her to fire them, honestly.  She’d explained to him before that she’d never burn bridges prematurely. The grass was not always greener on the other side, especially not in Texas. Especially not in this line of work. 

“Or - I should say I’m not going to fire them yet, anyway.” Her voice was steady – determined. “But one more and it’s over. I’m gonna let Harry know that he’s on his last strike when I call him tomorrow.” 

“Give ‘em hell,” he encouraged her. Whatever she said in those calls had, so far, been enough to whip everyone who crossed her into shape. Just once, he wished he could be a fly on the wall to witness her in action. She didn’t look particularly tough, but he imagined her being like an asp caterpillar, fuzzy and harmless until poked.

She didn’t linger on the topic, and instead asked about his day. He did the same. Neither had much to report outside the usual. 

“So, how was Sarah today? Did she talk your ear off about the homecoming dance coming up?” 

She giggled, gathering up the papers on her desk and stacking them into a neat pile in the corner. “How did you know?” 

“Cause she found out Monday, and hasn’t talked about anything else since.” 

“Oh and it’s only just begun,” she said with a smirk. “Welcome to your life for the next few weeks, Joel.” 

Joel scratched at the spot where his temple was already beginning to throb. Why did they have to announce it so early? It was great seeing Sarah so excited, but she kept asking him about his own first homecoming. He hated lying to her, but he couldn’t very well tell her the only thing he remembered was Rachel Borthwick and how she let him feel her up – the first boobs he ever touched – underneath the gymnasium bleachers. The thought of Sarah being that same age made him want to throw up. 

He swallowed the thought before it came out all over her desk. “Were you the same way at her age?” 

“Oh yeah. I’m sure if you asked my dad, he’d tell you I was worse.” She snorted, almost seeming embarrassed by her younger self. “For some odd reason, I had it built up in my mind that it’d be like that prom scene from Grease. Minus the broadcast and all that-” 

“Wait, your dance wasn’t on the news?” He tried to keep a straight face, but he was just as bad as his daughter. 

“Shut up.” She playfully shoved his arm and he rubbed it like it hurt. She rolled her eyes, but continued anyway. “My dad didn’t have the heart to tell me, so it was a pretty huge letdown when they didn’t even play Born to Hand Jive. I think I even requested it.” 

“How did you survive?” 

“It’s a miracle,” she said, and he huffed out a laugh. Three years later, and she still surprised him with every new story she chose to reveal. 

There was a split-second where the only sound in the room came from the buzzy-white fluorescent lights above him. Teddy stole a quick glance towards the hallway, as if checking if Sarah was back. She had still not reappeared and he wondered if Tommy had baited her into helping him unload the truck or maybe just sticking around to talk. 

Teddy clicked her fingernails on the counter in front of him. “Real quick, I wanted to ask,” she said before clearing her throat. “Have you and Sarah talked at all about dress shopping?” 

Joel shifted back a step, his boots scratching against the cheap, gray carpet. “Dress shopping?” He forced the words from his throat, then shook his head. He looked away, feeling a pit in his stomach that reminded him of Muffins for Mother’s Day in elementary school – Mommy & Me at the daycare. 

Again – dress shopping was another one of those things girls usually did with their mom’s, but Lisa wasn’t meant to be a mom. She’d even said so herself in the note she left next to her engagement ring on the day she vanished with their dog. Joel wished his own mom was still around to help fill in when the gaps felt too big for him, but sadly, she had passed away before Sarah turned 4. Since then, it’d only been just Tommy and him. 

“The only reason I ask is because,” Teddy started, clutching at the dainty gold chain around her neck, “Well, she sorta asked me to take her.” 

“Oh.” Joel didn’t know what else to say. Not that it offended him or anything petty like that. God no – he wasn’t delusional enough to think that he would be Sarah’s first choice when it came to fashion. After all, his idea of dressing up was a flannel and whatever jeans were clean. Teddy made a lot more sense than him. 

“I didn’t give her an answer, just so you know. I wanted to check with you first.” Her voice was rushed, slightly pitchy, and he realized this was the first time he’d ever seen her even remotely nervous. She must be just as cautious as him about crossing whatever line was supposed to exist in this…relationship? Dynamic? 

Joel smiled at her, softly, hoping to ease her anxiety. “Well, thank you,” he said and she appeared to relax at his calm tone. “I have no problems with you taking her, as long as you wanna do it.” 

“Of course, I want to, but are you - are you sure? I mean, you could always come with us if you want. We could all go together?” 

The offer was tempting, but he declined. He knew Sarah would enjoy it being just the two of them. It could be girl time or whatever. 

Teddy pulled out her planner to check on what dates would work best when Sarah came back in. Once she heard the good news, the victorious grin on her face somehow grew even bigger. The last time he saw her that excited was when he surprised her with tickets to Six Flags for her 11th birthday. 

Teddy and her started to discuss which stores to hit and what mall would be best, basically a foreign language to him. He should’ve started on closing duties, but instead he found his gaze drawn to Teddy. How she appeared equally as thrilled as Sarah. He always could tell when she was excited by the way she talked with her hands. That smile was downright infectious and – 

He noticed Sarah watching him. Her quizzical eyes were glued to his face. Shit. He was staring. Quick. Joel forced a smile at Sarah that hopefully said nothing-to-see-here. He didn’t stick around to wait for her reaction and instead, fled into his office. 

For a few minutes, he pretended to check over files and went down the list of closing duties, completely avoiding them until the only thing left was setting the alarm. Finally, he dared to look in their direction again. When he saw Sarah’s focus was entirely on Teddy, the tension drained from his shoulders. 

He thought he was in the clear. 

—-

“Dad, do you think Teddy’s pretty?” 

Joel’s head whipped up and a sharp, pointy fry was lodged into the back of his throat. It burned and stabbed its way down to his esophagus. For a second, he thought he was going to choke and die at his own dining room table from a McDonald’s fry. 

“What?” His voice crackled like sandpaper from holding in a cough. 

“She asked if you thought Teddy was pretty?” Tommy repeated, loud and clear with a smug grin that he didn’t even try to hide behind his Big Mac. 

Joel’s gaze flickered from one set of brown eyes to the next. He was cornered, his back against the bay window. No way out and no one to blame but himself for this mess. He was, after all, the dummy who got caught. 

Joel held up a waiting finger, then slowly sipped on his coke to calm his burning throat. He wiped his mouth with a napkin as he wrapped his head around what to say. Lying was out of the question. It seemed more damning than the truth. 

The thing was – there was nothing wrong with finding her attractive. It didn’t have to mean anything. It wasn’t like she was asking if he liked her. Not that he did like her. Well, maybe just a little. Just a teeny, tiny crush but it was nothing really. Stupid, honestly. For the most part, he could ignore it. 

Joel cleared his throat and gave a casual shrug. “Uh yeah, she’s uh - she’s pretty.” 

Despite his best attempt at cool, Sarah’s lips still flickered. Only the corners, as she continued to bathe her fries in a pool of ketchup. 

“Have you ever thought about - maybe asking her out?” 

A deep laugh barked in his ears and bounced around the tile floor like spiky ping pong balls. “Come on, Teddy’s way out of his league.” Tommy’s hand collided against his shoulder with a hard thwack. It slightly stung. 

But Joel didn’t take it too seriously. Tommy hassling him over Teddy was nothing new. Ever since she started working the front desk, it’d been Tommy’s favorite gag. In a weird way, Joel considered it a good thing that he saw it as one big joke. If Tommy had any idea about his silly crush, he would’ve kept his mouth shut instead of teasing him. Tommy might’ve been a lot of things, but he wasn’t cruel. 

Sarah didn’t seem to care whether it was a joke or not and scolded her uncle from across the table. She gave him a hard glare before turning back to Joel. She blinked expectantly, not letting him out of this. 

Joel sighed. “Sorry, kiddo, but I don’t think so.” 

“Why not?” 

“Because.” He licked his teeth and sucked a stuck piece of meat from between his molars. There was a laundry list of reasons, but he went with the least complicated. “We work together.”

“So? Two teachers at my school are dating, and it’s no big deal. They didn’t even get in trouble.” 

“Wait,” Tommy piped in with a mouthful of bun and sauce. “Isn’t she dating someone?” 

Joel swallowed down the salty taste in his mouth, bitter like vinegar. He nodded. “Yeah, I think so.” 

“You think so?” Sarah looked at him with clear suspicion. “So, she didn’t tell you that.” 

“Well…no. But-” 

“Then, how do you know?” 

Joel crinkled the empty wrapper into a tight ball, then tossed it into the paper bag. “Somebody sent her flowers at work. Nice ones too.” Too grand to fit in her car, so instead they lived and died in the tiny break room directly across from his office. 

“When?” 

Three months. “I don’t know, not that long ago.” 

“Well, how do you know they weren’t from her dad?” Sarah asked, not backing down. “Or maybe her friends sent them?” 

Joel shook his head, recalling the stupid plastic holder that had poked out at him like a giant weed among the long stem roses. “The card said Happy Anniversary.” 

At that, Sarah sank into the chair like a deflated balloon. She shoved a whole chicken nugget into her mouth – no sauce. Each dry crunch-crunch grated against the silence. 

This recent interest in his love life was new. He wondered if it had something to do with her age or maybe all those rom-coms she watched. She’d never cared about him dating or – she did try to set him up once, a few months ago, with her best friend’s recently divorced mom, but when he shot it down she had quickly moved on. 

But she didn’t even finish her chicken nuggets. He noticed a faraway look in her eyes – his eyes, one of the only things she inherited from him. She was somewhere deep in her head, in that big brain of hers that definitely didn’t come from him. 

She did eventually perk up when Tommy brought up the new season of the Bachelor, but still wasn’t her usual self. So after Tommy left, Joel settled in beside her on the couch to watch Friends. This show was like her pacifier. Sick or just a bad day, one of Joey’s jokes could cheer her up instantly. 

Not today, though. A whole episode later, and she’d barely said a word. Barely laughed, which had him really concerned. He got the sense that whatever was bothering her was something bigger than just Teddy. 

“You’re quiet tonight.” He wrapped his arm around her shoulder and snugged her closer. She collapsed into him like a domino. Full cheeks squished against his shirt. She didn’t respond, and he didn’t press. Only can-laughter existed in the space between them. 

Laying like this reminded him of when she was a baby. So tiny, a full head of hair even then. She would fall asleep on his bare chest while waiting for Lisa to return home from work. Looking back, the signs had always been there that one day she would run. She’d practically lived at her job after her maternity leave was done. Hell, she didn’t even take the full 6 weeks. Post-partum, the doctor called it, it’ll get better in time. But it didn’t. There was no medication cocktail that could make her want this life – that could make her want to stay. 

“Can I ask you something?” Sarah’s eyes didn’t leave Phoebe and Monica. 

“Anything,” he murmured against her hair before placing a light kiss to the top of her head. She no longer smelled of Johnson & Johnson or desitin, but coconuts and lime. 

“Are you lonely?” 

Even with her feathery-soft tone, the words hit him like a sucker punch, square in the jaw. Where the hell did that come from? 

“Do I seem lonely?” The words left him like a reflex, automatic. It was the second time tonight she’d caught him off-guard. 

“I don’t know.” She shrugged, her shoulders sliding along his t-shirt. “Are you?” 

Slowly Sarah lifted her head – her big eyes bore into him and when he could trace every concerned line on her young face, the guilt smothered him like wet mineral wool. It was his job to worry, not hers. 

He urgently shook his head. “No. Of course not.” 

She silently stared at him, squinting as if somehow it would give her Professor X’s ability to read his mind. Clearly, he did not convince her and so he tried again. Harder. 

“Sarah, listen. I am perfectly fine, alright?” He brushed a curly strand of hair from her face, firmly holding her gaze. “If I was lonely, I’d go do something with Uncle Tommy. He’s always asking me to do things after work-” 

“Why don’t you?” 

Joel couldn’t help but chuckle at her confusion. Of course, she wouldn’t understand. Teenagers always wanted to be out somewhere, doing something with their friends.

“Cause I’m old. And I’m tired. And honestly, I’d rather be home.” With you. The last part never slipped through the gap in his bottom teeth. He never wanted to make Sarah feel guilty for leaving him and living her life. 

“You’re such a hermit.” She nudged at his chest, a smile sweeping across her face. Exactly what he’d been missing. 

“I prefer homebody,” he corrected, making her burst into a giggling fit. He waited until she went quiet to say, “Either way - you ain’t gotta worry about me, alright?” 

Once again, her expression turned very serious. Her eyes darted once, twice, across his face. “Swear?” 

“On my life.”

—

Later that night, Joel laid awake in bed fighting to find a comfortable position. Even sprawling out in the middle didn’t work. The sheets were tangled around his legs, his feet – his thoughts equally twisted up from Sarah’s question earlier. 

Are you lonely? Was he? 

Joel had never considered himself to be lonely. Not really. Or not all the time, at least. For the most part, Sarah and work kept him busy enough that he never gave it much thought. 

If he did think about it though, he supposed crawling into bed alone every night could get a little depressing. He was still human, after all. Intimacy was a basic human need. It was just simple biology when he occasionally craved a soft touch or someone to talk with before drifting off to sleep. It’d been a long damn time since he experienced either of those things. 

Maybe Sarah was onto something. Maybe it was time for him to get back out there, but oh God. Just thinking about it made him light-headed. 

Where would he even start?

His last serious relationship was his only serious relationship. After Lisa left, there was hardly any time for that. Being a single dad, dating wasn’t his top priority. 

Sure, he’d managed to squeeze in a few first dates over the years, even less second ones, and he couldn’t for the life of him recall a third. If so, it’d been nothing worth remembering. 

Honestly, the only person he’d considered asking out recently was Teddy. It was just a dumb idea that crossed his mind sometime in late spring when too much tree pollen and dust mites must’ve gotten into his head. He’d luckily come to his senses and fast. A few short weeks later, those damn flowers showed up. 

If he was being honest, no one else really interested him. 

And how could they? 

It wasn’t even just about her looks, she was sweet and smart and surprisingly funny. Joking or not, Tommy was right – she was way out of his league and why was he thinking about this right now? Joel cleared his mind with a hard shake of his head. He needed to stop, get some sleep. He didn’t want to know what time it was already. Without looking at the clock, he flipped onto his side, fluffed his pillow, then shut his eyes. 

Within seconds, Teddy slithered back into his mind with her perfect smile, the delicious scent of her soap, and those jeans she would undoubtedly wear tomorrow. Casual Friday might actually be the death of him. Denim on her hips was seriously a sin.  

Just thinking of her fully-clothed ass made his cock twitch inside his boxers. Somehow that was enough to get him half-hard, the tip snagging over the soft-cotton. 

Joel groaned in unison with the bed springs as he flopped onto his back. His palms itched to reach down and squeeze at his cock for a little relief. But he resisted, and forced his mind to somewhere far less pleasant. Broken wires. Wrong-size headers. Clogged drains. A memory of her gripping a PVC pipe invaded his brain and suddenly, it was her small hands wrapped around him instead. How would she look on her knees for him? Would she be able to fit him all in her two hands? If not, would she use her – 

“Fuck.” Joel gritted his teeth and fisted at the comforter. Get a grip. 

He felt like he was going crazy. Probably from the lack of action outside of his own fist. It was finally catching up with him. Tommy did warn him this would happen and fuck – he hated when Tommy was right. 

Joel thought back to the last time he had sex and cringed. Two years ago, but the memory was tattooed in his brain just like the monarch butterfly on the random woman’s lower back. It happened at a sleazy bar where everyone knew Tommy by name. He’d taken too many shots of Wild Turkey, then found himself fucking the woman in a one staller, quick and sloppy, right next to a clogged toilet. Not his proudest moment. He’d go to the grave blaming the whole thing on Tommy, who treated their rare nights out like the bachelor party he was still pissed off that he didn’t get to throw. 

The truth was though, even before Joel’s current involuntary celibacy, his sex life had been relatively non-existent. 

He hadn’t had sex on a semi-consistent basis since his 20’s. A casual hookup with a lady named Amy, who lived in the same apartment complex as him. No-strings attached. An arrangement born out of pure convenience rather than desire or intense lust. She lived in the apartment below him, and once a week came up after Sarah went to sleep and left before the condom hit the trash can. No surprise it ended once he moved out, and ever since then, it’d been random hookups and one-night stands whenever Tommy and him went out for a night. 

Joel sighed and stared up at the moon-stain ceiling of his bedroom, careful not to make any sudden movements in hopes to fight down his erection. While still and quiet might’ve worked to spook a black bear, his boner was sadly proving more resilient. 

With every passing minute, the warm tingly feeling in his belly spread like weeds through his body. His fingertips down to his toes. Fully hard, now. It became clear ignoring it was useless. He would just have to get this over with, so he could get some sleep tonight. 

Joel forcibly kicked off his blankets, then shoved down his boxers. His cock thwacked against his stomach and the tip was already shiny. He preferred to do this in the shower to avoid a mess, the steady stream of water helping to cover up his dry, cracked hands better than saliva. But something was better than nothing. He spit into his hand until his mouth was dry, then wrapped it around his cock. 

Whether in the shower or in his bed, it didn’t matter, Joel always jerked off like it was a chore. Hard and fast strokes where he could barely catch his breath. No need for soft and sensual, just a tight fist to take the edge off. This way, he found it easier to keep his less than friendly thoughts of Teddy at bay. 

He tried his best not to think about Teddy while doing this because friends don’t imagine their friends while fucking their fist. And that was all she was, all she would ever be – a friend. If he could he wouldn’t have thought of anyone at all, but he needed someone to imagine to get off. 

Instead of Teddy, he pictured a cover model from a 90’s Penthouse Magazine that he’d found in the guest room after Tommy moved out. A pretty brunette with big natural tits, who he didn’t have to work with tomorrow. 

His room steadily filled with the wet slap of his hand, the low thrum of the oscillating fan as he pretended the nameless woman was riding him. He was brutally fucking his fist when the woman shape-shifted into Teddy. So abruptly that he could barely register that it was her taking him down to the hilt. Her rolling her hips. Her fingernails scratching over his ribs, his shoulders, his chest with a little smirk even more sinful than her tight jeans. 

“Shit,” Joel hissed when he realized, but too late – his hips surged forward as he came. So sudden, so fast, it almost gave him whiplash. 

Joel was not usually loud during sex, more of a grunter than anything else, but it had never been so vivid. So real. He could practically feel the wet-heat of her cunt clenching around him. He had to snag his bottom lip between his teeth to keep every needy and desperate sound from bleeding out of his mouth as his cock pulsed and throbbed against his palm. He wouldn’t let himself find out what her name tasted like when he moaned. 

Clearly, this was not the first time she’d popped into his mind and he doubted it would be the last. He wouldn’t feel nearly as bad about it either, but there was a fuck-ton of cum on his stomach. Even a little on his chest. Fuck – he came so hard it made him lightheaded. 

He let the shame simmer down and once he caught his breath, he carefully dug out a travel-pack of Kleenex from his nightstand. He didn’t even wanna count how many tissues it took to wipe the syrupy-hot evidence from his skin. 

He’d be sticking to the shower from now until forever. 

—

The days had come and went and over a week later, Joel had not jacked off again. Not in the shower, and definitely not in his bed. But that had nothing to do with Teddy. Seriously. It was just a coincidence. 

Work had picked up. The heat wave had died out, giving way to more 80 degree days. Fall was fast approaching, by far their busiest season. There was a brand new neighborhood of bland cookie-cutter slab houses that had him working doubles everyday and judging by today, this week would be the exact same way. 

The streets were dark and mainly deserted by the time Joel dropped Tommy off at his apartment complex. Joel glanced at his phone – once again – for any missed calls before heading home. Still nothing. No new voicemails – 0 messages. 

The first and last time he heard from Sarah was after Teddy picked her up from school, right before heading into the mall. He’d told Sarah to call him once Teddy dropped her off, but she must’ve forgot. The same way she always forgot to lock the front door. He would be home in less than 5 minutes or else he would’ve called. But he would rather give her a talking-to in person. 

For a second, he wondered if she and Teddy were still at the mall, but it was late. Nearly 9. 

No one could spend 5 hours there. Hell, he could barely spend more than 2 without going stir-crazy. 

The last thing he expected when pulling onto his street was to see Teddy’s car parked in front of his house. The pearly white shell was perfectly lit up underneath a street light. 

What was she doing here?

He thought she would drop Sarah off and dip after their shopping trip, but obviously not. Dear God, he hoped she wasn’t waiting on him. Joel whipped into his driveway and hopped out without bothering to grab his tool box in the back. 

Inside, the living room was lit up with every lamp turned on, but otherwise empty. It was still tidy from the cleaning he did on Sunday, thankfully. He threw his keys on the console table, shutting the front door with his foot. He heard movement upstairs and headed that way. 

“Sarah,” he called out, mainly to give a heads-up and not scare them. “I’m home.” 

“Finally,” Sarah said as he stepped into her room. It smelled like that Body Works store at Barton Creek that Sarah loved, but always had him leaving with a headache. 

He stayed close to the fresh air and leaned against the door frame. Sarah was perched at her vanity, the counter in front of her completely buried under make-up, nail polish, and a bunch of other crap. 

“Teddy’s helping me decide what to wear with my dress.” Sarah swiveled around in her stool to face him. 

“Yeah, I see that.” Joel looked over at Teddy, who was standing behind Sarah with an earring pinched in each hand. The smile on her face was genuine. If she was in any real hurry to leave she didn’t show it. “When did y’all get back?” 

“I don’t know. 8:15? 8:20? Somewhere around there.” Sarah shared a shrug with Teddy. A little over thirty minutes, not bad. With the mess, he would’ve thought closer to an hour. 

“Dinner took a bit longer than I thought it would,” Teddy explained and his brows furrowed. 

“Busy night at the food court or something?” 

He noticed Sarah and Teddy share a secretive glance, and of course, they didn’t eat at the food court. He should’ve known better than to think Teddy would just take her to Sbarro. But out of every chain restaurant – did she have to pick the damn Cheesecake Factory?

Sarah was raving over the Mac & Cheese balls that definitely cost more than the 10 dollars he sent for baked ziti. Judging by the amount of shopping bags in the corner, Sarah had used her extra spending money on clothes instead of Chicken Costoletta. 

He waited until Sarah turned her back to nail Teddy with a knowing look. She swatted it away like a bothersome fly. She could be so damn stubborn sometimes. 

Later, he would deal with it. Money was not a topic he liked to discuss in front of Sarah. Besides, there were more important things at the moment. 

“So, are you gonna show me this dress of yours?” 

Sarah eagerly nodded and bounced over to her bed, picking up the black garment bag. It didn’t even allow him a peek at the color, not even when she hugged it tightly to her chest. 

“Well, come on - don’t leave me hanging. I’ve been waiting all night.” 

“Dad, you gotta see it on me or else you won’t get the full-effect,” she sassed, a duh implied in her tone. “Go downstairs, you and Teddy can wait-”

“Now, hold on there Sarah. It’s - it’s getting pretty late,” he pointed out, and Sarah’s fraying smile told him that she knew what he was trying to say. He hated disappointing her, but this was the right thing to do. “So Teddy, if you need to go home, don’t feel like you gotta stay.” 

Selfishly, Joel wanted her to stay, but why would she? She had already seen the dress, already given up her entire evening for Sarah. This was a free out, and he expected her to take it. 

Instead, She crossed her arms over her chest like a defiant child. “No way you’re getting rid of me that easily, Joel,” she said. “I’m sticking around to see your reaction.” 

Without giving him a chance to respond, she slid past him, her chest brushing against his arm. She motioned him to follow and he did without question. 

She led the way downstairs as if she’d been here before. But the few times she’d come by before to drop off paperwork she never made it past the front porch. 

His pulse slightly hiked up seeing her in his living room for the first time. Her gaze scanning the camel-colored walls, the pictures of Sarah throughout the years, his guitar that he rarely found time to play. Above the DVD and CD rack was the only real piece of art in the room – if that’s what people would call the painting of waves he’d found at a garage sale, the same one where he got the mismatched pillows on the couch. 

Interior design wasn’t his strong suit, but he was still proud of his home. Proud of himself for buying it on his own, for being able to prove this kind of place for his kid. All of this, from the rug to every decoration and lamp. It was best attempts to make this space feel homey – lived in for Sarah’s sake. She would not be the only kid in class growing up in a bachelor pad. 

“So, this is Joel Miller’s house?” Teddy spun around to face him and he found that she looked really good next to his coffee table. “It’s nice. I like it.” 

“Yeah?” Joel rubbed the back of his neck, toeing the tile-carpet line that separated the kitchen from the living room. 

“Especially the Cowboys decor.” She pointed her thumb at the framed blue star logo that was hung up by the stairs. “Did you know I used to wanna be a cheerleader for them?”

Joel’s mouth went drier than when eating pretzels. He rapidly shook his head, mainly to erase the mental image of her in that skimpy little outfit. It would probably haunt him in his dreams for the rest of his life. 

He cleared his throat and took a seat on the couch. “I’m surprised Sarah didn’t give you a tour.” 

“Oh, she did.” Teddy plopped down on the couch with him, keeping a friendly distance of a cushion. “But don’t worry, the grand tour didn’t include your bedroom. She said that was off limits.” She puckered her bottom lip, pouting as if actually disappointed. 

“Trust me, you’re not missing much.” 

“But isn’t that where the magic happens?” 

Joel accidentally let out a snort. Magic. Nothing close to magic had ever happened in that room, unless what he did last week counted. “I think you’ve been watching too much Cribs.” 

Her lips parted, her eyes lit up with a wild look of amusement. “Does Joel Miller secretly watch MTV?” 

“Only against my will.” He jerked his chin towards the stairs. “She loves all that shit.” 

“Yeah. She did talk a lot about True Life while at din…ner.” Teddy clipped her lips together, catching her slip. 

“Trust me, I didn’t forget.” His tone carried a smug edge, making her huff in annoyance.  “So, how ‘bout you tell me how much I owe you for it?” 

“You don’t owe me anything.” 

“Teddy,” he warned. Still, she insistently shook her head, refusing to make things easy for him. 

“Sorry, but I can’t let you pay me back,” she said. “It wouldn’t be right.” 

“Really? How come?” 

She straightened her posture, the brown leather groaning underneath her. “Well, for one - it was my decision to take her there, wasn’t it?” 

“So?” 

“So, it doesn’t make sense for you to have to pay for something I decided, now does it?” 

Joel licked his teeth at her loop-hole logic. She was eyeing him with a very serious expression, as if this wasn’t over 30? 35 bucks? Hell, there was probably enough in his wallet right now to cover it. 

If this were anyone else, Joel would’ve already said fuck this and drained his wallet of every nickel and dime, just to be safe. He wouldn’t accept no for an answer because he didn’t need anyone’s help or handout. He made enough money to support not only himself, but his daughter perfectly fine. Thank you. 

But this wasn’t just anyone – this was Teddy. Whether it was because she did his payroll or because she was so bullheaded, he didn’t know, but she had a funny way of making him fold. 

“Secondly.” She lifted a second finger before he could raise the white flag. “It wouldn’t be right for you to pay me back for your own gift.” 

Huh? “Gift?” 

She hummed in response. “There might be a little early birthday present waiting for you in the fridge.” 

He couldn’t remember the last time someone, other than Sarah, got him a birthday present. Most of the time, not even Tommy did; his presence was the present or whatever bullshit he said. But she’d thought of him. Him. The idea made his chest begin to swell like metal on a blazing summer day. He ducked his head to hide the heat rising in his cheeks. 

“You didn’t need to get me any-” 

Teddy grasped his arm, instantly turning the rest of his sentence into sawdust. His gaze flickered from her hand on his forearm, to her eyes. She really was beautiful, especially in the warm pool of lamp light in his living room. 

“I wanted to,” she assured him with a voice as soft as her touch. Her thumb gently skimmed over his arm hair and he held back a shiver with the clench of his teeth. “It’s just Classic Vanilla Bean Cheesecake. A little boring, but Sarah said that’s your favorite.”

“It is.” His voice cracked like a pre-teen and embaressed, he averted his eyes. How ridiculous. He needed to get a grip. Pull himself together. He was acting like a fucking virgin. Joel swallowed and stiffly nodded. “Thank you.” 

She gave his arm a small squeeze before pulling away. The spot where she touched him still tingled, still burned. 

“It’s the least I could do, since I’ll be missing it.” 

Joel brushed her off with an easy wave of his hand. Other than work, he didn’t have any plans, so she really wasn’t missing anything. “I think you’ll have more fun in Phoenix, anyway.” 

“Just don’t let Tommy set the place on fire while I’m gone.” 

“Do you have that little faith in me?” he asked – teased. It was only a few days. Leaving Thursday, back in the office by the following. 

She lightly nudged his arm, just as a door opened. 

“Are you ready?” Sarah called out, and his focus shifted to the bottom of the stairs. 

“I was born ready, kiddo. So, come on, let’s see it.” Joel drummed his hands excitedly against his thighs. 

Waiting there reminded him of the fashion shows she used to put on for him. She’d wait at the top of the stairs until he popped in the Whitney Houston CD. For the big finale, they would dance around the living room to I Wanna Dance With Somebody. 

But Sarah didn’t appear in a bright-pink princess costume, but instead a pretty little purple dress. Her heels were real, not made out of cheap plastic or from the Dollar Tree. His little girl looked so grown up. The realization that she was grown up made the back of his eyes burn. 

Joel scrubbed a hand down his slack, scruffy jaw, watching Sarah twist from side-to-side. The shiny material swished around her knees. 

“Baby girl, you look - beautiful,” he said without trying to hide the crackle in his voice. “The prettiest girl I’ve ever seen.” 

Sarah giggled, almost bashfully. “That’s exactly what Teddy said.” 

“Well, that’s because it’s the truth,” Teddy stated earnestly. Sarah’s entire face lit up and God –  she had such a killer smile. He would never get tired of seeing it.

When Sarah pulled back her hair to show Teddy two different pairs of earrings, she immediately went over to get a closer look. 

Discussing jewelry and lip gloss, Sarah’s shiny wide eyes clung to her every word as if it was wrapped in gold, as if it held some infinite wisdom. It suddenly hit him that he’d never seen Sarah look at anyone like that. Not her favorite teacher. Not her best friend’s mom. Not even Mrs. Adler who lived next door and used to babysit her after school. 

Poor Mrs. Adler, she meant well but Sarah and her could not have been more different. Thinking about it, Teddy was the first woman that Sarah shared anything in common with, who she didn’t have to share with the rest of the class or came second to a friend. 

For once, Sarah had some special bond for herself. 

His breath caught in his throat watching Teddy fuss with Sarah’s dress. Her eyes barely leaving Sarah’s bright face as she untwisted a strap and smoothed out a few spots in the back. For a second, he imagined her here with them every night – thought about how seamlessly she would fit into their lives. 

Holy shit - what the fuck is he doing? Stop it. 

Joel forced himself to look away, pruning those thoughts before they grew. The light, liquid warmth in his chest ran cold. It turned into mercury when it settled in his belly. 

Luckily, Sarah and Teddy were too preoccupied with finishing details to notice him obsessively picking at his fingernails. He didn’t know what got a hold of him.

This was insane. She was his friend, his business partner, and whatever she was to Sarah that was more important than a stupid crush. No – he would not complicate a good thing with his feelings. Feelings she didn’t reciprocate. For God sake, she was dating someone else. Get over it. 

Joel thought it might be a good thing that Teddy would be gone for a few days. More than ever, he needed some distance. Some time to help screw his head back on straight. 

—

Too early on Tuesday morning, Joel sleepily fought the coffee machine until dark liquid gurgled and spewed into the pot. 

“Have you heard from Teddy at all?” Tommy asked as Joel filled up a to-go cup. 

“Oh yeah, hear from her every night before going to sleep.” 

“Really?” 

Joel shoved the coffee pot back inside its home, and blinked at Tommy. “Of course not. She’s on vacation. Why would she call me?” 

He figured she’d brought whoever she was dating on the trip with her. They were probably going to her cousin’s wedding, meeting her college roommates new baby while he was here - in Texas. Alone. When he thought about it like that, it put everything into some much needed perspective. 

Joel didn’t give Tommy a chance to respond before barging out and heading to the garage. He still was not used to seeing her empty desk instead of her warm smile, telling him to have a good day. 

“So, do you miss her, yet?” Tommy asked while loading up the truck. 

“She’s only been gone a few days,” Joel snorted, as if it was a ridiculous question to ask. “Why? Do you miss her?” 

“Miss her coffee, that’s for damn sure.” He grimaced at the cup before taking a tentative sip. “Shit sucks. You add too much water.” 

“I’d like to see you do any better.” Joel obnoxiously slurped on his drink, then winced. It did kinda taste like dirt. “She does make it better,” he conceded. “It’ll be nice to have her back.” 

The distance had been a good thing for him, though. It was much easier for him to think without her dizzying perfume. What happened in his living room had been just a moment of weakness, of panic. Blown completely out of proportion. 

The thing was – he’d always had a crush on her. It was nothing new, and he was perfectly happy with just this. With never being anything more than friends – her in his life, that was enough for him. 

It had to be. 

“Well, speaking of Thursday.” Tommy spoke in a tone that almost always meant he wanted something. “I’ve been meaning to tell you, I gotta leave work early that day.” 

“Why? Got an appointment or something?” 

Tommy shook his head, then spewed a sob story that lasted nearly the entire drive to the site. His buddy Aaron had just broken up with his cheating girlfriend, and needed help moving out of their apartment. Too bad it wasn’t a different one of Tommy's military buddies or Joel would’ve immediately said no, but Aaron actually wasn’t a douchebag. 

“Well, what time would you leave? Cause we gotta finish that block by Friday-”

“She works the night shift, so not until like 3 or 4,” he said, swaying him further. “And Aaron said he’ll pick me up from the site, so you ain’t gotta do anything.” 

Joel shrugged, whatever. Fine. They would just have to work late tonight and tomorrow. 

—-

So far, Thursday had not gone at all like Joel had anticipated. His reunion with Teddy this morning was disappointingly quick. It wasn’t like he expected her to run into his arms and hug him or anything dramatic like that, but he did think it would be more than just a few minutes of small talk where Tommy dominated most of the conversation with his plans for later. 

Which turned out to be total bullshit by the way. 3 to 4 ended up being more like 1:30, ruining his chance to see Teddy this evening. The inspectors would be here tomorrow morning, so the frame had to be finished tonight with or without an extra set of hands. 

Now, at 6:30, Joel was just leaving the site. He picked up Wendy’s to make up for his crummy day, only for the burger to be loaded with pickles and onions when he specifically asked for ketchup only. He still scarfed it down, along with a medium dry on the drive back to shop where the only thing that would be waiting for him was an empty office and a fat-ass stack of paperwork. Some supply sheets that could hopefully be knocked out before Sarah needed to be picked up later. 

He pulled in through the back entrance and was taking his sweet time unloading the truck. Lowly humming Wedding Bells by the great Hank Williams when the door opened with a screech. The sound echoed around the steel walls of the garage and he jerked, nearly dropping a nail gun on his foot. Somehow, he managed to catch it just before it slid off the rack. 

He turned around and - “Teddy?” 

“I was wondering what was taking you so long,” she said in a sweet drawl that made his pulse race for an entirely different reason. 

He stared at her dumbly, blinking rapidly to make sure this was not just his imagination. She was still here. He wet his throat with a hard swallow. “You surprised me.” 

“I can tell.” She giggled and embarrassment swarmed his neck like fire ants. He couldn’t believe she just witnessed him flail around like an idiot. He promptly went back to gathering up the last of the wooden boards and stacking them in the corner. “Did you not see my car out front?” 

“I came in off 77th,” he explained, brushing the dust from his hands onto his jeans. 

“I could’ve helped.” She leaned against the door, opening it wider as he walked over. 

“Nah, I got it,” he said with a casual shake of his head. “Wouldn’t want you to ruin that shirt, anyway.” His eyes dipped over the satiny material, this time a deep maroon.

“It is a great shirt.” She playfully bumped into his side with her shoulder when he stepped inside. The delicious scent of her soap sent an electric jolt up his spine. He matched her steps down the hallway. “What’re you still doing here anyway?” 

“Well, there’s the Fox Ridge pitch tomorrow and there’s two more next week. And I have been gone for like a week.” She tucked herself back behind her desk. “Remember?” 

Oh yeah, he remembered. 

For a few minutes, they caught up on work and talked about homecoming, which was Saturday, and Sarah, who was currently at her friend’s house making posters or whatever for the big game tomorrow. He asked if she enjoyed her trip, which she obviously did from the glow around her. He almost asked about the wedding until he noticed all the files on her desk, the neat stacks of paper labeled with post-it notes that clearly showed she was busy. 

He decided not to be selfish and take up anymore of her time and instead went into his office. 

“Let me know if you need anything,” she told him before he closed the door. He left it slightly cracked in a way that seemed inviting before taking a seat at his desk. He would’ve just left it wide open if he thought it would be possible to focus. But even the back of her head could be enough to distract him. 

Just like the rest of the shop, his office had been recorated by Teddy when Danny retired. He’d actually offered her the office, multiple times, but she refused. She preferred the natural light in the front, and he couldn’t blame her when the one window in here was puny and overlooked the trash cans. 

Without her, Joel would’ve left the walls as blank and as white as Danny, the bookshelves just as bare and dusty, and there wouldn’t be a single lamp, let alone two. But he definitely appreciated the lamps this late in the day when the overhead light would burn too loud and bright. 

Supposedly, she’d gotten them for free from a friend that was moving. He’d believed the story, at first, until one day she showed up with a giant picture of Yellowstone River, two more of different landscapes. A Golden forest. A mountain range. She’d just stumbled upon them at a Goodwill for the same price as a pizza. And then she’d filled the bookcases that framed his desk with architectural books that would likely never be read and tiny fake plants, which he couldn’t kill. Those she’d claimed were found at a garage sale for the magical price of a gift card to her favorite nearby lunch spot. 

She would’ve decorated the office for her dad if he would’ve let her. Danny didn’t care though if she found the space so depressing when it came down to money. But Joel could not find it in him to tell her no when she looked so damn pleased with herself afterwards. She’d done such a nice job that he wished he could use the office more. One day he probably would when Sarah moved out. He had a love-hate relationship with being home alone. The quiet could be peaceful, then other times forlorn. 

After finishing up two supply lists for upcoming projects, Joel went to start on a third when his door jarred open with a soft knock. Teddy was hovering around the threshold with a file in one hand. 

“Are you busy?” 

Joel shook his head, shoving the folder aside then signaling her to come in. She stepped inside, nudging the door shut with her hip. It didn’t latch. No one else was here, otherwise he would’ve pointed it out. But he didn’t know why she shut it in the first place, honestly. 

“Sorry to bother you-” 

“You’re not bothering me,” he interrupted. “What can I do for you?” 

“It’s the Fox Ridge pitch.” She sauntered over to his desk, hips swaying and squeezed into a pair of black jeans. Her shirt was gaping open in the front from the top two buttons being left undone and wasn’t it just one earlier? It was always one, right? 

He realized it would’ve been easy to catch a peek of her bra when she bent over to hand him the file, but like a good person – like a good friend – he looked away. His gaze remained firmly fused to her face until she sat down in the chair across from him. 

She wanted his thoughts on the pitch, and he agreed to take a look. Based on the first page it looked perfect, and even if it wasn’t, he wouldn’t be much help. After all, she was the brains of the operation where he was just the muscle. 

“So, how was the wedding?” Joel flipped onto the next page without looking up. “Your cousin’s right?” 

“Good memory.” She hummed, sounding pleasantly surprised. Her nails clicked along the steel arm of the chair. “But yeah, the wedding was… it was nice.” 

“Was it?” Joel glanced up at her with a suspiciously quirked brow. “Cause, you ain’t gotta lie to me. I won’t tell.” 

She clicked her tongue as if her reluctant tone wasn’t what led him to such a conclusion.

“I’m not lying, it was really nice. A lot of family that I haven’t seen in a while was there. And my cousin has amazing taste, so the wedding was gorgeous. It was small and intimate, but.” She let out a big breath. “It’s just everyone except my dad and I had dates.” 

“Did you not bring your-” Too late, the words had poured out before he could think twice and he cursed his stupid, overly curious mind. He had no idea what to say to cover up his lapse, so he just didn’t. It just hung in the air and he turned to the next page without reading the last. 

“Bring my what, Joel?” Her voice made it sound more like a challenge than a question. He peered up at her and she looked him directly in the eyes. It was as if she knew what he was going to say. It was as if she wanted him to ask. 

Joel screwed the blue pen into his grip. “I thought - I thought you had a boyfriend.” 

At that, she reclined back in the chair. She crossed her legs and tilted her head as if to study him. “What made you think I have a boyfriend?” she asked with such wild amusement that it confused him. 

Didn’t she? Tommy had seen the card, the flowers as well, so it wasn’t something he just made up in his head. She was or used to be dating someone. Oh – maybe it wasn’t a boyfriend, but a girlfriend. Not that he was about to ask. God no. He’d butted into her personal life enough for one night. 

“Well, you know.” Joel scratched the back of his head, then pointed in the direction of the break room. “There were those flowers, remember?” 

Her eyes widened – her lips parted. “Yeah, I remember. I just, I guess I didn’t think you would.” 

“Well, it ain’t everyday someone gets a garden delivered here.” He meant it as a joke, but it came off rather jealous. He tacked on a chuckle for good measure. She snorted, so it must’ve worked. 

“Okay fair. I was dating someone, but that’s over. Been over. We broke up like 4 months ago? So, not long after that, actually.” 

Joel grimaced. He could barely focus on her being single when he felt like shit. No one wanted to be reminded of their ex. “I’m sorry.” 

“Don’t be.” She brushed off like it was no big deal. 

Still, he remained silent as the grave because what the hell was he supposed to say now? 

“I was the one who ended things, just in case that makes you feel better.” Of course she was. No one in their right mind would break up with someone as amazing as her. “But since we’re on the topic and all - what about you, Joel?” 

“What about me?” Joel finally met her eyes and her lips twisted into a mischievous smirk that made his stomach swoop. 

“Do you have anyone special in your life?”

Joel stiffly shook his head. “Can’t say I do.”  

“Anyone not special?” she nudged him, suggestively wiggling her brows. 

Again – a shake of his head. “I don’t really date.” 

“What a shame.” Her voice was almost husky, breathy. She leaned forward slightly. “I’m sure all the single mom’s at Sarah’s school are devastated.” 

Joel batted his hand in the air with an ugly snort. 

“What? I’m serious,” she said without twitching. Her eyes momentarily flickered towards his lips, and suddenly, his throat felt like the mostly burnt bagel he had for breakfast. “I bet you have all of them wrapped around your finger.” 

“You’re just - you’re just saying that.” 

“Am I?” Her voice was silky, even silkier than her shirt. There was a cool confidence radiating from her as her fingernails galloped in a slow rhythm along the arm rest. 

She was staring at him, pinning him against his seat. The hair on his thighs lifted and tickled the denim. The energy in the room had shifted, the air between them had bent and blurred into something that Joel could not quite describe. But he could feel it, sense it when it surged and rippled between them and sent an electric shiver up his spine. 

She licked her lips and rolled them together until they were shiny with her spit. His heart pounded against his chest like an animal trapped and he wanted to pounce over the desk and taste her spit. He nearly did until he felt a stirring in his jeans. 

What the hell was going on? What was he thinking? He needed to get his head screwed back on straight before he did something incredibly stupid. 

Joel shot from his chair like a firework. Abrupt and loud and white-hot. He turned away and towards the filing cabinets on the back wall. He didn’t have a plan, but there had to be something in there that he could pretend to need. 

She was quicker than his flustered brain and rose to her feet before he could make it past the edge of his desk. 

“Joel.”

It stopped him, his feet stuck to the floor like wet cement. She approached him like a frightened deer. Steady. So quiet. Her steps barely scratched against the cheap carpet. 

Joel realized now, right now was the time to speak. To say something. Anything. Find an excuse. Stop standing here like a dumb-struck baboon. But there was only one word that managed to leave his lips, a breath - 

“Teddy.” 

“It’s okay,” she whispered into the shrinking space between them. “I know.” 

I know? He had no clue what that was supposed to mean, but before he could ask – she cradled the back of his neck and pressed her lips against his. Joel’s eyes widened and all he could see was the soft planes of her face, her fluttering eyelids, the fan of her raven-stroke lashes. 

She was kissing him. Holy shit. She was actually kissing him. When he finally registered that, he closed his eyes and was overcome by the taste of her spit and a hint of Burt’s Bees chapstick, which he found oddly arousing. 

For a moment, he was too damn stunned to do anything but move his mouth along hers. Then, he realized his arms were hanging like spaghetti noodles at his side and reached out and clutched onto her waist. His thumbs delicately swirled the fabric of her shirt. So damn smooth, just as he expected. 

Joel gulped when she drew back, just far enough to meet his eyes. He had no idea what the fuck this was – let along if it was anything at all. Perhaps, this was it. Just a stolen kiss, late one night in his office. 

Joel braced himself for her to yank away, to tell him it was a mistake, that she didn’t know what she was thinking. Let’s forget the whole thing. 

But she didn’t. 

She just continued to toy with the curly ends of his hair, twirling them around her fingers as her other hand fisted the loose collar of his shirt. He was wedged between her warm-heaving body and his desk. The edge was slightly burrowing into his lower back, but currently he couldn’t care less. 

Her gaze dipped to where his jeans were painfully tented. A hot burst of shame ignited behind his earlobes. The flex of his fingers bit into the hollow below her ribs. 

“It’s - it’s been a while,” he found himself explaining because there was no good reason, at his age, to be this turned on from just kissing. 

“Do you want me to stop?” She slid up against him, sealing herself against his chest. It appeared she knew the answer before he could dumbly shake his head. 

This time – his lips met hers somewhere in the middle. Where the first kiss was gentle, testing the waters like the first sip of fresh coffee, this one was deeper. More intense – a whole gulp. Her urgent lips captured his starstruck mouth and right then he knew nothing, no one, would ever compare to this. Not even close. 

The way she kissed was like some special art form that only she could master. It felt so damn good to have her fingers molding through his hair with baby scratches over his scalp and the scent of her soap flooding his chest with heat. It consumed him, his body, his mind. The rapid pulse in his ears muted his every coherent thought.

When she gently nibbled on his bottom lip, he moaned – Teddy. She licked her name from his lips, then eagerly tasted it on his tongue as if she couldn’t get enough. 

And oh God – her tongue was equally as impressive as her other skills. The tip of it dragged over his top palate, making it tingle like a buzz off tequila. She stroked and swirled and twisted around his tongue as if knotting a cherry stem. No one had ever taken the time to explore him so thoroughly. Frankly, he didn’t know there was that much of his mouth to explore. 

Despite her exploration, Joel’s hands were burning into her waist, still holding her at 10 and 2 like a student driver. Like this was a chaperoned middle school dance. Slowly he roamed them down to grip her hips, but no further. He didn’t want to push it. He didn’t want to scare her. He didn’t want to spoil this moment from something stupid like getting too greedy. 

Joel was fully okay with her in the driver seat. Even though he was usually in charge, he was happily letting her lead. Well, actually, he didn’t know if he was really letting her or if she just was. He didn’t care either way when she was touching him. 

She broke the kiss and her lips swerved to his cheek. His jaw, paying extra attention to the patch in his beard where no hair could grow. His head tipped back when she buried her nose into the crook of his neck and deeply inhaled. After a hard-days work he likely smelled of sweat instead of his soap, but she groaned anyway. 

“Have you ever thought about this before?” She breathed against his neck. 

“I mean, I-” He choked on his words as her tongue slicked over the thick vein beneath his jaw. “I - I tried not to.” 

“But you did.” He could feel her lips split into a grin before she sucked on a spot below his ear. He hoped it would leave a mark. The idea of seeing it tomorrow in the mirror made his cock twitch and throb and it ached. 

“Uh-huh,” he whimpered, rather pathetically. It actually sounded like it fucking hurt. 

“You know what?” She playfully nipped at the spot that would soon sadly fade. She then met his gaze with a coy grin. I thought about you too.” 

“You did?” he croaked. 

She hummed in response, her fingers trailing down his chest. His stomach quivered, his breath catching before she stopped just above the band of his jeans and whispered, “But unlike you - I didn’t try to stop.” 

Joel growled, unable to form a coherent thought. His brain was too preoccupied trying to process how any of this was happening. It had to be a dream or an optical illusion or some shit. No way it could be real. But her small hand cupped his cock and that certainly felt real. 

“Fuck - you feel even bigger than I imagined.” She palmed at his bulge with a light pressure. His knees nearly buckled despite the thick, denim barrier. 

Now, he was really wishing he jerked off last night – or anytime in the past week or so. God – he was pent up. It wouldn’t take much for him to break. 

“Can I see it?” 

Joel’s mouth went half-slack and she blinked at him without flinching. 

“Yeah,” he managed to squeak out. Not great, but at least coherent. 

She sank to her knees, her eyes never leaving his. Pretty. Pretty. So damn pretty. Those two undone buttons exposed the tops of her breasts, the peek of a plain white bra that he found sexier than he should’ve. 

His restless hands found solid ground on the desk behind him. Just in time as she balled the hem of his shirt in her tiny fists and bunched it towards his waist. The office air blew cool over his newly bare skin. 

Joel wondered how he compared to the type of guy she usually dated. Did she like meatheads with six packs? Or guys with scrawny arms? Or did she like them somewhere in the middle; someone more like him? His body used to be more solid in his 20’s, but softened with age. He was still strong though, still firm in most spots aside from his stomach. 

He caught himself sucking in as her wild eyes wandered over his husk-tan skin and across the dark scatter of hair around his navel. Then, she devoured it, mapping every inch with her wet, hot mouth. 

It was a miracle that he managed to stay upright under her attention. Any attention was new. He was not used to any teasing or foreplay or whatever delicious torture this was called. 

No. 

Joel was used to his own calloused hands. Quick, rough fucks with women who called him Joe or Jack or something else entirely because why did it matter if it meant nothing. 

But did this mean anything? To him, yes. To her – he had no clue. Dear God – he hoped so, though. 

With a smirk she unzipped his jeans and shoved them down by his knees. The wet spot on his boxers was impossible to miss. Of course, he’d worn light gray today instead of something discreet like black. 

“It’s been awhile,” he sheepishly reminded her. He didn’t want her to think he was always this big of a mess. Because he wasn’t. Seriously, he really wasn’t. 

“It’s alright, just relax.” She leaned forward and mouthed at the stain. 

But it was impossible to relax when her nose nudged the underside of his cock, her mouth was so close to the tip that every muscle in his body tightened. He gritted his teeth, his nostrils flaring with the remnants of his dwindling self-control. 

She must’ve realized she was ruining him because she pulled back with a wicked grin. She hooked her fingers into the elastic waistband and tugged. His freed cock nearly smacked her in the face. The flush red tip was weeping. 

“Shit, you’re thick,” she gasped. Women had told him that before, but he much preferred hearing it from her. The sweet honesty in her voice, the clear surprise. It stroked his ego and filled him with a strange sense of pride as if he’d actually accomplished anything profound, and not just good genetics. 

She licked and spit into her palm before stroking his cock with a loose fist from root to tip. Her thumb swiped over the blunt head, smearing his pre-come and making his hips jerk and involuntary spasm. 

Joel opened his mouth to apologize, but was quickly silenced by her tongue: warm, wet, the slightly rough texture tracing over the thick vein that ran down his length. 

He gripped the desk until his knuckles bleached. She placed her free hand on his hip as if to help steady him before guiding him between her perfect, plush lips. Just the tip, at first. But it still was nearly enough to finish him. He didn’t remember the last time someone put their mouth on him. 

Joel desperately wished to witness this moment. He wanted to memorize the glossy gleam in her eyes, the way she looked in front of him and on her knees and how her mouth stretched perfectly around his cock. But it was too much. The weight between his thighs was becoming oppressive. If he watched, he’d shatter. And he’d be horrified if he finished that fast. 

So, he focused on the ceiling tiles instead. On the black specks that formed different shapes as she took another inch of him into her feverish mouth. 

Already, she had him panting like a dog. Unable to fully catch his breath even when she released his cock with a loud pop. She continued to pleasure him with long strokes of her fist. Her tongue dipped into his leaking slit, lighting up nerve endings that he didn’t know existed. It ripped an ungodly sound from his mouth. 

“Oh, you liked that?” she asked, very smug. Then repeated the movement once, twice, before eagerly swallowing his cock again. 

“Fuck, fuck, fuck.” His hand flew to her shoulder and squeezed as she took him deeper – deeper. Holy shit. Where did she learn to do this? This was like pornstar level good. 

She had taken him halfway down her throat when he felt a shock run across his spine, a familiar tugging in his balls. His release was building and brewing in his lower belly like a thunderstorm. 

But Joel clenched his teeth. No – he could not come. Not yet. He needed to get himself under control before he finished in less than five minutes. 

He shut his eyes, but not even the rumble of his eardrums could drown out the loud, lewd squelch of her mouth. It was fucking filthy. The swirl of her expert tongue around his shaft had him unraveling fast like a loose spool of thread. 

“Teddy,” he moaned her name as he got close – too damn close. 

He tried to tell her to slow down, but the words stuck in his throat. Nothing came out except grunts. Just short groans. Her lips kissed the cusp of her fist, completely engulfing him in her honey-slobber and the softness of her hand. 

His hips instinctively bucked, the head of his cock bumping the back of her throat and she gagged. The walls of her inner mouth shuddered and pulsed around him and – 

“Shit.” His eyes flew open but before he could warn her – she hollowed her cheeks and sucked. 

He groaned her name, low and unrestrained, as the pleasure electrified his spine. It arced down his thighs before he could push her off. For a moment, he lost himself in the high, in the tide of her mouth. His cock twitched and throbbed on her tongue as he came. 

Hard. 

As if he hadn’t come in months – years. 

In a daze, he blinked down at her and saw his cum dripping down her chin, leaking from the corners of her mouth as she continued to twist her fist and suck down the aftershocks. It would’ve been easily the most erotic sight, if it didn’t suddenly hit him how fast he came. 

The light-headed euphoria quickly morphed into vertigo. He was horrified, mortified, staring down at her. 

He didn’t know what to say, and for once, it seemed like neither did she. She released his cock from her mouth, but otherwise didn’t move. Not even to wipe the come off her face. 

She swallowed, and opened her mouth. But a familiar ding tore through the thick, sticky air. The bell above the front door. 

“Joel? Teddy?” 

No way. It was motherfucking Tommy. 

—-

The idiot had forgotten his house keys in Joel’s truck. In the cupholder, nonetheless. 

Joel had somehow managed to button his jeans, and hand her a tissue before Tommy busted into his office. She’d pretend to blow her nose to clean the come off her face, riddling him with another level of shame. So embarrassed that he could barely look at her without feeling like he swallowed a handful of nails. 

He threw Tommy the car keys to get rid of him, but found out that Aaron had  left. Tommy had told him that Joel could just drive him home without even asking. And usually it wouldn’t be a big deal. 

But Tommy was so goddamn clueless. He just swung around the door frame, blabbering about how the girlfriend showed up and there was a big blow up in the parking lot and Joel was just waiting for him to notice the smell of sex and sweat or even the cloying embarrassment. Or Teddy’s swollen and suck-plump lips and surely Joel looked like a flushed-beet wreck. 

So how did Tommy seem to remain completely oblivious? 

When Sarah called a few minutes later, Joel left. Well, first he made sure everything was locked up and she was safely in her car, but otherwise fled like a coward. 

The shop had officially disappeared from his rear view mirror and now Joel couldn’t remember if he even told her goodbye. She just gave him the best blow job of his life, and he couldn’t even wave? 

“Are you gonna get Sarah or drop me off first?” Tommy asked and Joel snapped at him like a venus fly trap. 

“Doesn’t really make sense to go out of my way just to drop you off first, now does it?” 

Tommy threw up his hands. “Well, fuck. How am I supposed to know where Sarah’s friend lives?” He hurled himself against the passenger seat and mumbled under his breath, “Asshole.” 

Joel winced. He was kinda being an asshole, taking out his anger on Tommy. He wasn’t even mad at Tommy. Annoyed, yes, but not mad. The only person Joel was mad at here was himself. 

He was mad at himself for cumming too fast, and even more so for running away afterwards like a scared hound with his soft, spent cock tucked between his legs. Recalling the complete shit show, Joel’s grip coiled around the steering wheel until the leather squealed in protest. He could still feel the ring of her spit drying around him. 

Joel sighed and stared out the windshield at the night sky, the truck bouncing along the uneven back road full of potholes. Why did it feel like he just fucked everything up? 

“Hey, are you alright?” Tommy’s voice was lower, quiet – concerned. 

Joel scratched at his jaw, at the bald patch she’d kissed, before nodding his head. 

“Yeah, sorry - I’m just tired.” He’d rather die and be reincarnated into a gnat than tell Tommy about how he just prematurely ejaculated. He’d had enough embarrassment for one night. 

“Did I-” Tommy paused and for a moment it seemed like he decided to keep his mouth shut. Until he sighed. “I don’t know, but did I interrupt something between you and Teddy?” 

A little too late to start being observant, Tommy. 

Joel approached a red light, the truck crawling to a complete stop. 

“Come on. What would be going on between us that you could interrupt?” Joel looked over at Tommy and his brows were furrowed. In the pool of orange light from the street lamps that speckled the cab, Joel saw the realization flash across Tommy’s face. The moment everything clicked into place. 

Joel abruptly turned away, not in the mood for pity. After what felt like forever, the light finally turned green. 

“Joel, I didn’t realize that you-” 

“Don’t.” His voice was quiet, stern without being rude. “Just don’t.” 

For once, Tommy didn’t demand to have the last word. Instead, he slowly and silently fell back into the seat as if to fade into the shadows. She still had a boyfriend as far as Tommy knew, and Joel would not be informing him otherwise. This way was easier. 

The rest of the drive was filled with Willie Nelson’s album Always on My Mind, the rumble of the engine, and the buzzing of Joel’s thoughts. 

How was he supposed to face her tomorrow? 

—-

On Friday morning, Joel drove to the shop with a terrible pit in his stomach. His eyes felt gritty, and there was a dark shadow of gray underneath from a restless night sleep. He ate a bland piece of toast for breakfast, and even that made him feel sick. When he turned onto the street, he thought it might reappear all over the windshield. 

But Teddy was not there. Just a pink post-it note on the full, freshly brewed coffee pot. 

Fox Ridge pitch - Wish me luck. 

He’d forgotten that it was this early. Joel supposed he’d have to get here on time this evening to see her. 

Joel spent the day trying not to go insane. Despite the pounding of his hammer, memories of last night beat against his skull. Anytime he touched his lips, or the spot behind his ear, he could practically feel the ghost of her kisses. They had been desperate, heated. Hadn’t they? It had seemed she’d wanted him, just as much as he’d always wanted her. She’d even admitted to imagining him in some sexual way. 

But what about now? 

He didn’t have a clue. 

Eight hours later, and halfway from a complete tailspin, the truck decided not to start. The engine clicked and clicked and clicked, but never went. Even though he begged for it to start. The concrete guys had tried to jump it with no success. It’d taken everything in him not to sock Tommy in the jaw when he gave him that told-you-so look while calling a tow truck. 

The concrete guys were still on their best behavior and gave them a ride to the mechanic shop. It was run by one of Tommy’s highschool friends, Zach, who was nice enough to stick around past 5 on a Friday night. 

5:25 and this was a fucking nightmare. He couldn’t imagine a worse day for the truck to die. As if he hadn’t fucked up enough last night when he bolted, the last thing Joel wanted as her thinking that he was avoiding her. The least he could do was extend the same courtesy she had this morning. 

So midway through Tommy and Zach examining what was under the hood, he broke away to call her. 

Joel slapped his cellphone against the flat of his palm as he headed outside the entrance. With a deep breath he dialed the shop’s number. The ring-ring-ring in his ears made his chest feel like it was about to explode. 

“Teddy’s Company, how can I help you?”

“Hey Teddy.” He cleared his throat. “Hey, it’s Joel,” he said, very awkwardly. 

“Hey! Hi. What’s up?” 

Joel kicked at the loose rocks by his feet. “Well, the truck - uh the truck’s acting up. We had to get a tow, and Tommy and I are - the mechanic’s checking it over right now.” 

“Oh shit.” 

“Yeah, so I just wanted you to know - I don’t know when we’ll get back to the shop.” Joel lightly hit the center of his head with the circle of his clenched fist. He sounded like an idiot. 

“No - yeah. That makes sense.” Silence crackled on the other line and it was unbearable. 

Joel scratched his temple, unsure what to say next. He wanted to talk about last night, just to get it over with, but it wasn’t the right time. That was not a conversation to have over the phone. Not like at work was much better, but still. 

“Well,” Teddy broke the silence. There was a rustling of something on the other line – papers? Her bag? “Do you need-” 

There was a massive boom behind him – Tommy pounded on the glass door and motioned him inside. 

“What was that?” she asked and Joel mouthed at Tommy to give him a second. 

“Sorry, it’s Tommy. I think the mechanic’s done with the inspection.”

“Okay - well, I was just gonna ask if you guys-” 

Tommy banged again – harder. It was Friday, so he probably had a date with his favorite dive bar. Joel glared at him and flipped him off. 

“It sounds like you need to go,” she said. 

“Sorry.” Joel rubbed the back of his neck and he was gonna kill Tommy. “But uh - have a nice weekend, alright?” 

“Yeah, yeah, you too, Joel.” 

Once Joel found out the battery just needed to be replaced, Tommy’s pissy mood made a lot more sense. It would be a decently fast and easy fix – at most an hour. 

Joel plopped down in a chair in the lobby and mindlessly flipped through a car magazine. He didn’t even register the pictures that swished by, too busy reeling from that awkward phone call. 

Had he really told her to have a nice weekend? He wanted to melt into the cracks and scuffs in the black-and-white tiles. Real smooth, Joel. He sucked at this shit. 

What was going to happen next? 

He couldn’t tell where her head was at from the phone call that somehow didn’t even last as long as him last night. God – she probably thought he had some type of erectile dysfunction and he couldn’t even blame her. There was no excuse for a man at his age to cum that fast from a blow job, nonetheless. He was not a fucking teenager. 

The longer he sat there in the empty lobby with the melancholy of Johnny Cash’s voice, the more he began to doubt. It spread and swelled in his lower abdomen like a virus. Syphilis. If it festered for too long, he felt like it might turn him insane. 

He didn’t know how he would survive the weekend like this. 

— 

Saturday was usually his day for relaxing. All his responsibilities could wait until Sunday, but he couldn’t sit still. 

Up early, he and Sarah went to the Farmer’s Market and ran errands until lunch time. He deep cleaned the house in the afternoon. The entire main floor was vacuumed and swept, the kitchen counters looked brand new, and even his bed was freshly made with dryer warm sheets. He was determined to keep busy instead of wallowing in his looming conversation with Teddy. 

It might’ve worked if Sarah didn’t innocently keep bringing her up. With homecoming tonight, she was apparently in the mood to reminisce, especially after she’d gotten all dolled up. 

They were halfway to her friend Ashley’s house and the drive had been filled with Teddy. Their mall trip – the dress – the tiny details Teddy helped pick out. 

“I brought my polaroid camera.” Sarah pointed at her overnight bag in the backseat of his truck. “So, you can take a photo of me and show Teddy on Monday.” 

“Oh, yeah. She’ll like that.” Joel forced a smile as the hand of his knee flexed, biting into denim. 

He couldn’t help but feel a stab of guilt every time Sarah mentioned her. Teddy would never cut Sarah out, he knew that, but things were bound to be different now. It couldn’t go back to what it used to be, not after she’d seen his cock and swallowed his come. The relationship would inevitably change between them. 

He just hoped their friendship could be somewhat salvaged. For Sarah’s sake, especially. 

Joel was able to push that out of his mind when they arrived at Ashley’s house. The Murphy’s had been nice enough to invite the entire group, including parents, to come over and take photos. He couldn’t imagine fitting 14 teenagers and their moms in his puny backyard where he could barely fit a playset. Luckily, the Murphy’s lived on a big, well-landscaped lot that backed up against a man-made lake, and not directly into a neighbor’s house. 

The few other dad’s who showed up were all huddled together under the covered patio with their eyes transfixed on the TV screen. The Longhorns were taking on the Wildcats. Still in the first quarter, so it wasn’t even a good game yet. 

Instead of cracking open a beer, Joel joined the mom’s by the rose bushes. 

“Oh my God, Joel. Sarah looks beautiful.”

“She’s gorgeous.” 

“Stunning.” 

They all complimented Joel as if his genes actually put up a fight. Sarah was Lisa’s exact twin. Even more so when her gorgeous thick curls were pulled back into a loose bun with a few loose strands framing her face. The mom’s were right though – Sarah did look beautiful. But then again, she always did; with or without all the glitter and make-up. 

Sarah’s date was a scrawny, soccer player with red hair who was her best friend’s boyfriend’s best friend. Eric. Joel could hardly believe his daughter was at an age to even have a date, even if it was just a set up. It made him feel incredibly old when the kid called him sir. 

Based on first impressions, Eric seemed nice enough. The kid took a few photos of Joel and Sarah together in front of the Mexican bush sage. The purple flowers were almost an exact match to Sarah’s dress. Joel had hoped that somebody would offer when he’d changed out of his dusty clothes earlier and into a different, slightly nicer white t-shirt and a pair of his best dark wash jeans. 

Still, while Joel wouldn’t threaten the kid with a fist or scare the shit out of him with a war story like Tommy would, Joel did give Eric the look – Don’t try anything, bud. When Joel shook his hand, it felt like wet paint. 

Good. 

Joel thanked the minivan moms for driving, Ashley’s mom for hosting the sleepover afterwards, while snapping enough pictures to fill up two of Sarah’s bulletin boards. 

“You look beautiful, baby girl,” he told Sarah one more time before hugging her goodbye. 

She promised to be good and handed him the developed Polaroid, specifically for Teddy. He stashed it safely away in the middle console of his truck then drove away. 

At home, an empty living room quietly greeted him. Not yet 6 P.M. – the sun continued to shine and slice through the curtains onto the beige carpet. Joel had no idea what to do with the rest of his evening. Football, he supposed. Maybe rent a movie – Ocean’s Eleven or Training Day, something Sarah had no interest in ever seeing. 

He whipped up a ham and cheese sandwich and cracked open a beer. Rather than eating alone at the dining room table, he set up on the couch and ate in the company of Longhorn football. 

It didn’t take long, not even halfway finished with his sandwich, before a Folgers commercial came on and he thought about Teddy. She never even used Folgers, but just coffee in general made him think of her. At this point, it was actually pathetic how everything reminded him of her.

For a few minutes, Joel debated on calling her and figuring this shit out already. This limbo was killing him. He even pulled out his phone from his back pocket, found her name in his contact list and let it taunt him, his thumb hovering over the call button for longer than he’d like to admit. 

But what would he say if she answered? 

It had been two days and he still had no clue. He was still trying to figure out how to navigate this whole situation. He wanted to handle it with care but it felt like holding a dandelion puff in his rough calloused hands. Inevitably, it would break and fall apart with something as simple as a gust of wind. Joel carelessly tossed his phone on the coffee table and groaned. 

At halftime, he went and cleaned off his empty plate in the sink. Using his hands always helped distract him. Maybe he needed a hobby. He could always play his guitar, finally learn Never Going Back Again. He’d always wanted to try out woodworking since it used to be his dad’s favorite pastime. 

Joel was drying off the dish when the doorbell rang. 

“Hold on,” he yelled, wiping off his hands with the rag. He didn’t know who that could be, but he’d bet everything in his wallet right now it was Tommy. He knew Sarah would be gone all night, and probably wanted to drag Joel to some bar across town for a wild night out. 

Joel was coming around to the idea of spending his night in a smoky, loud bar instead of cooped up in his house when he opened the door. It was definitely not his brother, not even close. 

“Teddy.” 

She was on his front porch in a pale blue sundress that instantly made his mouth water. The buttery light from the budding sunset sky behind her framed her silhouette. 

“Sorry to just stop by.” She smoothed down her dress and tugged at the hem. “But can I come in?” 

—-

She didn’t say why she was here when he let her inside, but he supposed she didn’t have to. 

It was actually Joel who broke the silence. “Do you want anything to drink?” he asked. His mom would lurch from her grave if he didn’t act like a good host. 

“Water,” she said with a small smile. “Tap’s fine.” 

It was a good thing she didn’t follow him into the kitchen. His hands were shaking so bad that he nearly dropped the glass on the tile floor. 

When he came back into the living room, she was sitting on the couch. He handed her the glass, his fingertips brushing over hers. She politely thanked him before taking a tentative sip. The cushion whined under his weight when he sat. These were the exact same spots from the night she was here with Sarah. This time, however, the empty cushion felt less like a safety net and more like a boulder about to crush him. 

He turned off the TV, the newfound silence giving further evidence of what happened the other night. 

She clinked the glass onto the coffee table, then clasped her hands stiffly in her lap. On the very edge of her seat, she looked ready to bolt at any moment. “I knew Sarah would be at the dance or, at least dinner.” 

“Yeah, dinner. I think the dance starts around 8,” he said and she nodded. He wished he would’ve remembered to bring the Polaroid inside. Maybe it would’ve helped ease the tension. 

But no – he needed to quit procrastinating and apologize for how he reacted the other night. 

Buck up – do it. 

For a moment, Joel searched for what to say, scratching the skin around his neck where it felt thickest. 

“Joel,” Teddy said before he could speak. She shifted in her seat and when she opened her mouth, he braced himself for her to call it nothing but a mistake. “I wanted to come by and apologize about the other night.” 

His brows furrowed. 

“Apologize?” 

“Yes, Joel,” she answered, very sternly. He noticed a pained look in her eyes before she stared down at her stark white tennis shoes. 

“What? I - what?” He sounded like a bumbling drunk and for once, he wished the right words would just come naturally to him. 

She sighed. 

“After our phone call yesterday,” she started, only stopping for a split-second to clasp her gold necklace between her fingers. “I feel like I might’ve pushed things too far the other night. I never wanted to make you feel uncomfortable-” 

“Uncomfortable? No. Shit.” Joel insistently shook his head. He would personally damn himself to hell if he sat here any longer and let her take any blame for this. Exhaling, he scruffed a hand over his jaw. “Look, I’ll admit - I panicked, but that ain’t on you.” 

“How is it not?” 

“Cause you did nothing wrong. Fuck. I’m the one who should be apologizing, alright? I acted like a goddamn idiot, Teddy. It’s just-” Joel let out a self-deprecating laugh, bashfully tucking his chin towards his chest. “I don’t usually, ya know - that fast. Just got embarrassed, that's all.” 

He absently rubbed at a patch of distressed leather on the arm of the couch. 

“Well, I never wanted to make you feel embarrassed.” She scooted closer – closer. Slowly. For what felt like the first time since the night in his office, Joel properly met her eyes. “All I wanted was to make you feel good, Joel.” Her voice was husky, almost seductive. She smirked and his heart banged inside his chest like a caged feral cat. 

“You did make me feel good,” he admitted, rather shyly. “Just wish I could’ve made you feel good, too.”  

“Who says you can’t?” Her eyes darted across his face, to his lips, to the rise and fall of his chest. She gripped his shoulders for balance before swinging her legs over him. Her knee lightly bumped into the arm of the couch and his hands instantly went to her hips, helping to steady her on his lap. 

Joel stared up at her dumbly for a moment before shaking his head in disbelief. His thumbs toyed with the hem of her dress, bunching it up further until he could brush over the bare flesh of her thighs. Goddamn, she was so soft. So pretty. 

“What do you want, Joel?” 

Everything. “Whatever you’ll give me.” 

“No, Joel. What do you want?” 

The last two days – hell, the last two years bulldozed into him. Every feeling and thought he’d suppressed and ignored crashing into him like a wrecking ball. He’d spent so long convincing himself this would never happen, but now – everything he ever wanted and never thought he would have was right here. Right in his lap. 

And something inside him suddenly snapped. 

“You gotta know by now, Teddy. You gotta know.” The words spilled out of his mouth and he hated how it sounded. It didn’t make any sense. Joel shook his head and ran his hands down her thighs to lightly squeeze at the spot above her knees for stability. “Fuck, I ain’t any good at this shit,” he said, in a rare moment of vulnerability. 

She cupped his face so delicately like he was made of porcelain. With a small nudge, he met her gaze. 

“This is gonna sound very middle school, but do you like me, Joel?” she asked and he snorted. 

It did sound juvenile, but he instinctively tugged her closer and nodded his head. 

“Good. Cause I like you and I want you, Joel. Only you,” she said. “So what do you say? Wanna give this a shot?” 

“You fucking know I do.” His hand slid behind her neck, his thumb traced over the perfect curve of her hair line. “Now, come here.” 

When his lips met hers – it was desperate and sweet like cream soda. His mouth crashed against hers with every bottled up dream and fantasy of her mouth, her lips, her tongue. It surged hot and bright through him. 

His hand was a firm weight on the small of her back as he pulled her in as close as humanly possible, until only denim and a dainty sundress could separate him from her. 

She clutched onto his shirt collar before gently rocking her hips against his growing bulge. He tensed his thigh, catching on her panties. She whimpered, already so sensitive, and he couldn’t wait to learn all the sounds she made. 

He couldn’t fuck her on the couch, though. Not properly, at least. Definitely not like he wanted to or how she deserved. Still, he let himself enjoy this for a few minutes. Dry humping like teenagers in her parent’s basement before breaking the kiss with a soft peck to her top lip. 

“Would you wanna go upstairs?” He dragged the back of his hand over her thigh, his knuckles hiking up her dress to reveal a little more skin. 

“Oooh. Am I finally gonna see Joel Miller’s room?” She gave the tip of his nose a quick kiss before crawling off of him. 

She held his hands the entire way upstairs until he led her into his room. “Told you, you weren’t missing much.” 

“I don’t know about that.” She glanced at the navy blue walls, at the painting of a grazing deer in what appeared to be somewhere in Montana. It hung above his golden oak headboard. She pointed at the basic beige comforter, three pillows lined up against the frame. “I’m gonna be honest, though, I didn’t take you for the type to make your bed.” 

“I did a little cleaning today.” Joel shrugged as she kicked off her shoes by his laundry basket. 

“Well, isn’t that convenient?” 

Joel managed to only kiss her twice before getting on the bed. He scooted into the middle, using two pillows to prop and cushion his aging lower back. Again, she eagerly climbed over him. She yanked her dress over her head, leaving her in only a lacy black bra with a pair of matching panties that cut high on her hips. The tiny, pink flower on the waistband was just the cherry on top. 

She must’ve noticed the look on his face because she giggled as if she was completely innocent. “Do you like it? I wore it for you.” 

“Fuck me,” he murmured. “Look at you, you’re gonna fucking kill me.” His hands roamed from her ribs up to paw at her bra and he squeezed just hard enough to watch them pour out over the top. He growled from deep in his chest before shoving his face in between her breasts. He traced the lacy material with his tongue before kissing along his slick trail. “Can I take it off?” 

Smirking, she reached behind her and unclipped it for him. The bra joined her dress on the carpet in seconds. He licked his lips and admired her bare skin – the curves of her body in the coppery-golden glow from the sunset spilling in from the window. When he cupped her breasts, he swore they were made for his hands. His thumbs slid across her sensitive peaks, feather-light, but her breath still hitched – her head tip back and even the column of her neck was gorgeous. 

He replaced one of his thumbs with his tongue, flicking the tip of it over her nub again and again. Kitten licks that made her clutch the back of his head. The way her fingers rooted into his hair was almost possessive and she held him flush against her chest as he sucked her nipple into his needy mouth. 

Her breathing grew ragged and she tried to find friction. She rutted against him, but his hands captured her hips, holding her still before she could graze his cock. Too much dry humping and he’d be actually come in his pants like a teenager. 

“Be patient, sweetheart,” he murmured and she whined. He didn’t allow her another chance to complain before his mouth switched to her other breast and adored it with equal attention. It’d been ages since he took his time like this and he lost himself in the feeling of her soft, scented skin on his face. 

“Joel,” she moaned. It was desperate and raw and hands down the most erotic sound he’d ever heard in his life. It snapped him from his reverie and he grazed his teeth once more over her spit-swollen bud. 

“I know.” He petted her hips before cupping her sex. The lace was soaked and sticky around her cunt. 

Her hips bucked into the flat edge of his palm and for a moment, he watched her shamelessly ride his hand. Her brows furrowed – her fingers clutching his shirt for support. He was suddenly aware that he was completely dressed, and he found it strangely erotic. A part of him enjoyed it, maybe a little too much. 

“Let me take care of you.” He patted her on the hip before ordering her to lay back. She didn’t need to be told twice. 

Joel moved, so she could take his spot in the center of the bed. He tore off his t-shirt and threw it with her clothes. She watched him with glossy, moon eyes as he crawled between her spread open thighs. He captured her lips in a tender kiss before swerving to the swell of her cheek and down the slope of her neck. Gently, he nipped at her collarbone and she wiggled impatiently. 

But he still went slow when dragging the tip of his nose from her breasts and along her stomach where he placed a soft kiss above her belly button. 

When he settled back on his knees, he saw her chest rising and falling. Her bottom lip was stuck between her teeth and she was fisting the comforter. It was hard to believe she was really here, even as his fingers stroked her thigh. She was actually in his bed in nothing but soaked black panties. 

Joel laid down on his stomach, spreading her thighs even wider to make room for his broad shoulders. Face-to-face with her lace covered cunt, he could smell the sweet, primal musk. 

He sucked in a breath, suddenly feeling nervous. He enjoyed going down on women, but it had been awhile since he did anything more than just enough to get someone wet enough to take him. And he really wanted this to be good. 

It felt like it had to be good, after his last fuck up. 

“Joel? Are you okay?” She brushed back a tuft of hair that had fallen flat on his face. 

He shut his eyes but there was no hiding when his face was mere inches from her pussy. “It’s just been awhile.” 

“Well, we don’t-”

“No. God - I want to.” Joel groaned and dejectedly dropped his head against her thigh. He kissed at a mark above her knee. Her skin felt so warm against the stubble of his cheek. “Do you know how long I’ve wanted this?” 

A moan dripped from her lips as he mouthed his way to the dip where her thighs met her hips. His nose nudging along the elastic seam. 

“I’m not usually like this, but fuck - I wanna make you feel good.” He sucked at the spot directly above that damn tiny pink rose and her hips lifted off the bed, almost chasing his mouth. “Want you to know I can take care of you.” 

“You can - you can,” she practically chanted. “Just God. Please, Joel.” 

“Okay, I got you. It’s okay,” he whispered before peeling off her panties. He lifted the flimsy to his nose and inhaled without thinking. She smelled so delicious, musky, like sea salt and jasmine. He lost himself in her womanly scent and stuffed the fabric into his mouth and oh God – the taste. Dully sweet, a citrusy-tang that tingled his tongue. He devoured it. 

It wasn’t until her panties were licked clean that he came up for air. His eyes opened to find her staring at him. Her mouth gaping – pupils carbon-black. 

With a shy smile, he tossed the panties, now soaked with his spit, behind him. “Sorry.” 

“Don’t be,” she panted. “Fuck, that was hot.” 

He snorted. 

“Well, you taste damn good, sweetheart,” he said, situating himself comfortably between her thighs. Now, there was nothing, not even skimpy lace separating them. She was completely hairless, which was actually a first for him. Joel didn’t have a personal preference, though he did like how easily he could see how turned on she was. Her entire sex was swollen and glossy and perfect. Licking his lips, he peered up at her. “I wanna make you feel good, so let me know if you don’t like something, alright?” 

She quickly nodded, her chest hitching with anticipation. She wanted this. She did.

He kissed the top of her mound then experimentally licked her slit, keeping his tongue soft and flat. He deliberately stopped just before her clit, avoiding it. For now. He planned to build her up slowly, steady. Words had never come easy to him, so instead he’d show her what he could not articulate. 

Despite his own painful desire, his focus remained solely on her as he lapped at her cunt: He teased and nibbled and sucked on her folds. Letting her little sounds and sighs guide him to find her most sensitive spots. He didn’t know what he’d been so worried about before. Eating pussy was just like riding a bike. 

“More,” she pleaded, and how could he deny her after she’d been so patient? 

Her back arched when the tip of his nose grazed her clit. He smirked against her cunt, the pit in his belly stoked by how worked up she was. It fueled his confidence and his tongue swiped over her clit. She wound her fingers through his hair and tugged. 

Hard. 

And Oh – that did something to him. His cock twitched, or at least, tried to. Pack so tightly against the seam of his jeans. Again – he swallowed the urge to hump the sheets for some relief, snubbing his own arousal for hers. 

As he toyed with her clit, his fingertips skimmed over her slick, hot-heated sex. The thick bulb of his pointer finger caught on her entrance and she immediately clenched, as if trying to capture him. Greedy little thing. 

Still, he peered up at her for permission that she happily granted. He started out with one finger and inched inside her until he could not physically go any further. He cursed under his breath. She was warm and soaked and so tight. 

When finally he squeezed in a second finger, her knees slightly bowed. Even though she was wet enough for him to slip in without any resistance, he rocked into her slowly, mindful to let her adjust. He curled his fingers, trying a few different angles before finding that spongy spot. 

Immediately, she jerked with a deep, filthy moan. 

Got it. 

His fingers worked just as relentlessly as his tongue that was circling and swirling and flicking her clit. So responsive. Her walls spasmed around him as he thrusted into her a little harder. A little faster.

“Oh my God.” Her voice was as shaky as her thighs. He could feel her starting to swell under his tongue. 

Joel didn’t want to stop, but he needed to see her come apart. When he leaned back on his knees, her hand shot out. She latched onto his forearm with a death grip. 

“Wait! Wait! Joel!” Her voice was high-pitched. Frantic. Her cunt clenched furiously around his fingers as if she could not bear to let them go. “I’m almost there. I swear, I’m close.” 

She bore down, attempting to fuck his hand as if she needed to prove she was telling the truth. Like he could do nothing but sit here, and she could get herself off. Joel felt something ugly and bitter twinge in his chest. It made him wonder how often she was left high and dry and unsatisfied by the people she fucked. 

Well, not anymore. Not with him. 

Once his hand lightly pressed on her abdomen, she stopped. Her gaze found his. Her eyes glossy and wild and fucked out. It looked like the only thought in her head was how badly she needed to come. 

“Don’t worry, I ain’t done with you, sweetheart,” he assured her as his hand on her stomach moved lower and lower. “Just wanna see you when I make you come for the first time.”

A filthy moan split her lips when he circled her clit with his thumb. The panic on her face was instantly replaced with relief. Pleasure. She looked gorgeous on the verge of an orgasm. 

“Does this pretty little pussy feel good?” 

“Yes - yes - don’t stop,” she cried out. “I’m so close.” 

“I know, sweetheart. I can feel it.” And he could. “I got you.” 

She moaned his name as she came undone underneath him. Her arousal was dripping down his knuckles and onto his sheets. He caught himself grinding into the air, desperately wishing it was his cock instead of his fingers making her come. 

Her clit pulsed under the pad of his thumb like a beating heart. Insatiable, he sucked the taste of her off his fingers then wiped his mouth. 

She drew him down into a sloppy, wet kiss. The painful bulge in his jeans catching on her bare flesh. By some miracle, though he didn’t burst right then and there. 

She pawed at his bare shoulders. “I need you,” she murmured against his lips that were still buzzing with her wetness. “Please Joel, I want you.” 

“Greedy,” he mumbled, grinning against her cheek. He gave her hip a playful pinch before jumping onto his feet. 

Quickly, he shed his jeans along with his pre-come stained boxer briefs. His cock was heavy. The head swollen into a furious shade of red, closer to purple than pink. 

The light outside was starting to fade into gauzy, gray dusk. So, Joel flipped on the bedside lamp before pulling out a fresh box of condoms from the nightstand. He tore through the plastic wrapping with his teeth, but slowed down when opening the tin-foil packet. 

“How do you want me?” She asked as he securely rolled on the condom. 

Up? Down? He didn’t care. “Surprise me.” 

She shot him a mischievous smirk before flipping onto her stomach. Rising onto all fours. This woman. He had no idea what she would pick, but his first guess never would’ve been doggy. 

He admired the dream-like curve of her spine and she invitingly wiggled her ass. Seemed she was trying to give him a heart attack. Did she know how sexy she was to him? She had to. She had to know what she did to him. 

“Is this okay?” she asked, and Joel growled his approval. He climbed in behind her and palmed at the plump flesh of her ass. 

She opened herself wider until he could see everything. “Shit, sweetheart,” he hissed, marveling at where her sex glistened with his spit and her orgasm.

Joel had to squeeze at the base of his cock before dragging the tip through her slick folds, all the way up to her puckered hole. Even that felt good. Almost too good. And he wasn’t even inside her, yet. 

Once Joel was lined up with her entrance, he noticed how small her cunt looked next to him and didn’t even try to push in. He questioned whether or not he could fit. It was just a fact that he was thick. Even though she was soaked, this would be a tight squeeze. 

Fuck. Now, he was really regretting only using two fingers instead of three. 

“Joel” she whined, but he still didn’t move. 

“I don’t wanna hurt you.” 

“No, I can take it - I promise,” she whimpered. “Joel, please.” She tilted back against him, making it impossible to say no. 

“Okay. Alright,” he said soothingly, calmly rubbing the arc of her hip. “I’ll go slow.” 

And he did. For both his and her sake, he inched into the heat of her cunt. His gaze was welded to the painted deer above the headboard. Watching himself disappear inside her would’ve been too much. The feeling of her pulsing around him was already almost too much for him to handle. Without the condom, this would’ve been over before it could even begin.  

“Fuck, fuck, fuck. You’re big,” she choked out, her walls fluttering around him. “I need - I need a second.” 

“It’s okay, it’s okay.” Yeah – he needed one too. 

There was a long minute where the only sounds in the room were of his harsh breaths, her suppressed whimpers. Then, a slight creak of the bed. 

He leaned forward, his chest lightly pressed against her back. His arms caged in around hers, palms flat on the bed to help support his own weight as he draped over her body. 

“You feel so good.” His lips brushed over the top of her spine and she shivered. “I know it’s a lot. I want you to know it’s a lot for me too.” 

“Oh, Joel,” she mewled as he buried his face into her neck. She smelled and tasted just like salted caramel. 

“You’re perfect, sweetheart. So good.” He kissed behind her ear, along the back of her neck. “I’m gonna move now, alright?” 

“Please.” The word dripped from her lips – the only answer he needed. 

He stayed close to her, his breath puffing against her neck as he fucked into her. Nice and slow and tender, at first. She met his thrusts in perfect sync. Each one allowing him deeper and deeper inside her and he didn’t even know how that was possible. It was as if her pussy was molding to fit him, to take even more of him. It felt very intimate and overwhelming.

He thought if he was staring into her eyes that he might’ve cried. Sex had never felt like this before. Not with Lisa, not even when they accidentally made Sarah. If he was being honest, sex had always felt somewhat impersonal; stilted, distant, like a glory hole in a gas station, just minus the sketchy bathroom wall.

But here, right now with her – this felt sacred. He had no clue how he ever managed to live without this. 

“Do you know how long I’ve wanted you?” Joel laid his damp forehead between her shoulder blades and picked up the pace. 

“Joel.” She gasped. His name seemed to be the only word she could say. It was as if he had completely consumed her. Her mind. Her body. Her every neuron. He kissed each vertebrae within reach, claiming more of her. 

More. 

“So damn long,” he answered. “And so fucking bad. Prettiest thing I’ve ever seen and look at you now, sweetheart. Just taking it. So good, just like I knew you would.” 

“Oh God, Joel.” 

He felt her shake, her arms appeared ready to give out and collapse. He wouldn’t let that happen. So, he widened his stance, the comforter bunching up around his knees. Carefully, but without warning, he fully pulled out and she wailed like it physically hurt. 

“I got you.” He shushed her, wrapping his arm around her waist and sealing her to his chest. “Come on, come here.” He guided her upright along with him and she groaned once the weight was off her arms. 

She sank back down on his cock instantly, her ass flush against his thighs. He felt even closer to her, somehow, in this position. Her skin was on fire, the sweat making her back stick to him like gum. Her pussy was drenched and dripping down his balls. 

He could feel her all over him. Everywhere. It amazed him how he managed to last this long.

Joel gripped her hip, his other hand went to cup her breast. When he gently rocked forward at the perfect angle, she clenched. 

“Goddamn.” He squeezed her breast, continuing to hit that same spot. “How are you so tight?” 

“It’s you, Joel.” She gasped. “No one - no one has ever been this deep.” 

The dormant, possessive part of his brain lit up and he growled. Joel buried himself to the hilt, until he could not claim another inch. No one but him had ever touched her here. 

Just him. 

Just him. 

Only him. 

His. 

She was soaking wet, white-hot, and he could feel himself throbbing inside her. Joel wanted to come so badly. The spicy-musk of her skin was swirling in his lower belly with a powerful, burning heat. On the brink of bursting. 

“Fuck, I’m not gonna last much longer.” He pinched her nipple as his other hand went down to play with her clit. “I wanna make you come.” 

Her only response came in a whine, a frantic nod.

Joel thrusted into her with long, deep strokes that made the bed shake. The headboard hit the wall in a dull, rhythmic thud that filled the room. Just like her trembling, needy moans, his own low groans, and the heady-salt scent of sex. 

She threaded her fingers into his hair and haled his mouth toward hers. She kissed him, or more so, tried to. It was more of just lips devouring whatever was within reach: cheeks and chin and the curve of mouths. It wasn’t the best angle, but it didn’t matter. 

In this moment, nothing else mattered to him but her. 

Despite the tightness in his balls, Joel somehow held back his release. He gritted his teeth, burrowed his face into her neck, and quickly rubbed her clit. The high-pitched sound of his name lingered on her swollen lips as her walls squeezed around him like a fist. 

It wasn’t until her cunt was spasming around him that he finally drove forward. He was buried so deep inside her that he practically snarled when he came. 

He spilled into the condom, but pretended to be filling her up instead. He would watch his cum drool out of her, only to stuff it all back in with his fingers. 

Joel clutched her against him as his hips gave a few final jerks. He would have liked to stay inside her until he went completely soft, but the condom was overflowing. Cum or her slick or more likely a mix of both was soaking into the hair between his thighs. He decided not to test the durability of this specific condom brand. The last time he did that, well – it was obvious how that turned out. 

Holding the condom at the base, he slipped out of her and dropped onto his ass with a few pops and cracks. Damn, he really should stretch more.

His eyes fell to where her legs were spread and her sex was still gaping from him – for him. His mouth went dry. He wanted to lean over and quench his thirst, fill her with his tongu- 

“What’re you lookin’ at there?” The sound of her lilted voice made his gaze abruptly snap to her face. 

He must’ve been blushing because her lips split into a smug grin. Clearly, she knew what caught his attention. But even after two orgasms, she was still a little sassy. Still too damn perceptive for her own good, meanwhile he could barely form a coherent sentence. 

She straddled his thighs, careful to avoid his semi-soft cock. 

“It’s okay, you can look. I mean, it’s yours now, isn’t it?” Her soft, small voice cut through the post-sex fog in his brain. She was looking so vulnerable, so exposed, completely naked in his lap. Even he was more covered up than her, and all he had covering him was a flimsy, full condom that he had not yet found the energy to get up and throw away. 

Isn’t it? Joel got the sense it was not a genuine question, but more of a reiteration – a confirmation. Are we on the same page? 

Whatever she meant, he nodded his head. 

“It is.” He cradled her cheek. “But only if it comes with the rest of you. I’m a greedy man, sweetheart. I want it all.” 

She beamed at him. 

“Well, that makes two of us,” she declared while brushing a sweaty tuft of his hair out of his face. “I want everything you come with, Joel. And when I say everything - I mean everything. The whole package.” 

She might’ve not said Sarah’s name, but he knew that’s what she meant. 

His lips parted, amazed by how easily the words came out of her mouth. That was the first time a woman had ever acknowledged that he came as a two-for-one deal without even a hint of cynicism in their tone. Obviously, Joel realized a kid was a lot to take on. Especially since Lisa wasn’t in the picture at all, but there were some women who made it sound like Sarah was baggage, which was insane. Sarah was the best part of him. 

Speechless, Joel kissed her firmly on the mouth. It was warm and sweet and surging through his chest like an electric current. This is what it was supposed to be like. He could feel her lips break into a smile before he pulled away. 

“Stay here. Let me get you cleaned up.” 

She laid back on the bed without argument, and he disappeared into the bathroom. Joel stuffed the condom into the tin-foil wrapper, then buried it under wads of tissues and empty toilet paper rolls at the bottom of the trash can, just in case Sarah used his bathroom. He didn’t want her to see that. 

After cleaning himself up, he returned with a warm, damp washcloth. She looked pleasantly surprised, a little shocked. Wordlessly, she parted her legs with enough space for him to fit. 

“Such a gentleman,” she finally said after he gently wiped down her thighs. 

“Maybe.” He moved over her tender, swollen folders with even more caution. “Or maybe I just wanted to get a closer look.” 

He winked and she giggled. 

“You had your face buried down there like twenty minutes ago - don’t think you can get much closer than that.” 

True. Joel snorted and tossed the washcloth into his laundry hamper. He went over to his dresser and dug out an old, oversized t-shirt from the bottom of his drawer.

“Caught this at a Longhorns game from one of those t-shirt cannons,” he said when handing her the folded shirt with her panties on top. 

“Ooooooh impressive.” She playfully wiggled her brows, just slightly taunting him. He didn’t expect anything less. 

His boxers from earlier were still damp, so he put on a fresh pair. 

“So, what time are you picking Sarah up?” she asked, seemingly waiting to bring up his kid until he wasn't butt-ass naked. 

“Actually, she’s staying at her friend’s house tonight.” 

“Well, that’s interesting.” 

Joel hummed his response. He was grabbing a pair of sweatpants from the closet when suddenly the home phone on the nightstand lit up, ringing. Only solicitors called that phone, anymore – shit, his cellphone was downstairs. 

He would’ve ignored it, but what if it was Sarah? 

Joel raced to the phone with his pants still clutched in his hand. Once he saw the caller ID, he groaned.

“It’s Tommy.” 

She nodded for him to answer, and so he did. Very reluctantly. “Hello?” Joel swore if Tommy was in jail again, he was going to let him rot there until next week. 

“Hey there, Joel.” Definitely not jail – too happy. “What’s going on?” 

“Uh,” Joel paused and looked at his bed where Teddy was laying in only his t-shirt and a pair of panties. What a beautiful sight. He couldn’t help but laugh to himself; Tommy wouldn’t believe him even if he told the truth. Joel tucked the phone between his ear and shoulder, so he could put on his pants. “Nothing.” 

Teddy grinned at him like they were teenagers lying to their parents. 

“Nothing? Huh?” Tommy snorted. “Then what’s Teddy’s car doing in your driveway?” 

Oh no. 

Joel nearly tripped over his pant leg on his way to the window. The street lights were on, but the sky was still a light enough blue where he could clearly see Tommy standing in the driveway, waving with a classic little brother grin on his face. “What the hell are you doing here?” 

“I was coming by to drag your ass out and wait - are you fucking shirtless?” 

Joel cursed, backing away from the window like it burned him. The cover was blown and he hoped Teddy didn’t mind, but it wasn’t his fault that his brother came over uninvited. He looked at her and she was just smiling, appearing wildly amused. 

She shrugged, then yelled. “Hi Tommy.” 

Tommy howled in his ear, loud enough that he could hear it through the glass. She immediately burst out laughing, no longer having to hide. Joel shook his head, but he couldn’t even be annoyed or mad. Not right now. 

“You dirty dog.” 

Fucking Tommy. 

#pedro pascal fanfiction #joel miller x f!reader #joel miler x reader #joel miller fanfiction #last of us fanfiction #joel the last of us #joel x reader #joel miller

[lonelycowgirls]

Girl on Film

New Harry and Stella content! 🌟🎉 *the crowd goes mild*

I know it's been an AGE, but I've been working on this on and off for a while and I just wanted to get it out there, but it just wasn't happening...

But here it is – I hope you all enjoy as much as I did writing it, certainly made me feel some type of way 😏

Please like, reblog and follow if you enjoy it!

My asks are also open for feedback and ideas to how this universe can continue.

Nel xo

~

“So, I had a patient come in today, who I haven’t seen since her six-week scan, and she said I look good because I’ve put on weight?” Stella said in a questioning tone, pulling her hair back with her fluffy hairband.

“Oh, right,” Harry nodded, turning the corners of his lips down in consideration, then returning to carefully shaving his chin. Stella frowned at him in the mirror and crossed her arms, after popping the cap back onto her micellar water.

“Well, have I?” This was dangerous territory, the way Harry responded now would determine how the rest of their evening would go – and he’d never mastered the right way to answer these types of questions, no matter how many ‘man-to-man’ chats he’d had with his dad and his friends.

“Have you what?” He said, words coming out strangely due to his stretched cheeks as he ran the razor blades carefully across his skin. He heard Stella scoff. Wrong answer.

“Put on weight, you dickhead. Are you even listening?” She resisted the urge to shove his side so as to not cause him to cut himself.

“Oh, right, I can’t say I’ve noticed, bub.” He mumbled nonchalantly as Stella’s chin pulled in with frustration.

“Well, that’s great, a woman who barely sees me notices more about me than my boyfriend who I live with.” Harry rolled his eyes as Stella marched out of their bathroom. He leaned against the double sink unit they shared and hung his head with a sigh, some remnants of white, frothy shaving cream still covering his chin.

This was typical Stella, she knew it as well. Knew that she could fly off the handle at the slightest thing – like she was made of gasoline and just a flicker of a match could cause an explosion. He’d put up with it for a long time, when a few of his friends and family members had told him to leave and find an easier life, he’d considered it for a week at most and then looked at her face again and couldn’t imagine being without her – temper and all.

Harry was a chilled out guy, he liked to think that they balanced each other out. He’d act as fresh water poured over Stella’s flame whenever she got too hot, and Lord did she know how to get him wound up when he needed it.

Yeah, they were a delicate balance, but didn't she ever piss him off as well sometimes.

Once he’d finished up and brushed his teeth, he shut the light off in their ensuite and slumped back into the bedroom with his tail between his legs. Eyeing Stella, she didn’t look up from her book from behind her glasses. She eyed his back when he turned.

Harry pulled the duvet back, sliding in beside her and shutting his lamp off. One arm resting on the pillow above his head, he shuffled to get comfortable and sighed, staring up at the ceiling.

“Was I too skinny before?” Stella asked after a few beats, taking a break from staring at the words on the page — having been on the same sentence for nearly 10 minutes.

“What?” Harry made a distressed face, running his palms across its planes – he was hoping he could just go to sleep and she’d forget about it by morning. “Babe, come on.” He said, rolling to his side to look at her.

“What? I’m being so serious,” she replied, shutting her book and chucking it on her bedside table. “I need to know if I’m living unhealthily.” She flopped her arms down by her sides, looking up to the ceiling.

“You know you’re not though, Stell.” Sure, Stella was on her feet for 15-hour shifts at least twice a week, skipped breakfast and only managed an average of five hours of sleep each night, but she tried to eat well and work out when she did get time. “What’s this really about? Why are you so upset by what this random woman said?”

“Do you really not see it? You never noticed?” Stella felt vulnerable, even after all this time with him, she felt uncomfortable looking him in the eye.

“I don’t want this to come across the wrong way…” Harry came up to lean on his arm, looking down at her and running a hand across her body over the top of the duvet. She chanced a look up at him, skepticism clear on her face. “I haven’t noticed, because I don’t think about it.” Stella opened her mouth to retaliate, almost sitting up but being pushed back down. “Listen,” He warned with a look. “I don’t think about it… because I’m thinking about how I can make you laugh next. I’m thinking about how much I’m looking forward to next sitting down in the evening and having a cuddle whilst watching Love Island or old Four In A Bed episodes, or some new drama you want to watch. I’m thinking about how gentle and loving you are with the cats. I’m thinking about how lucky I am to be able to come home to you, to your hugs and kisses. I’m thinking about how comfortable and cosy you make our home. I’m thinking about how you’re the best friend I’ve ever had… and the only partner I’ll ever want.”

Stella pursed her lips to keep a smile from bursting across her face, Harry moved to remove her glasses from her face, leaning in to kiss her, but she moved her lips away just before they connected. Harry smirked at her with a mock frown in his brow – now she wanted to play.

“You are such a sweet talker…” She said quietly, running her fingers back through his thick hair. “You should write songs.” Harry nodded with a dumb look on his face, like she’d just said she’d discovered that water is wet.

“That’s actually such a shout from you.” Harry nodded, dimple protruding from his smirk. He leaned in to rub his nose against hers, but she continued to dodge his puckering lips.

“You know what,” she said, pushing him back by his shoulder, his eyes growing darker and lulling now, routinely running from her eyes to her lips and back again. “I think it’s because you’re not on tour anymore.” She perched on one elbow to mirror him, creating a level playing field.

“What are you on about?” Harry laughed slightly, trying to pull her into him by her hip even when she pawed at his chest in protest.

“Think I’ve gotten too comfortable, when you’re not here I’m actually conscious of how I look.” She was being honest, he could tell by the lack of smirk next to his own. He shuffled forward, taking her further in his arms — with minimal protest this time.

“I don’t know how to respond to that.” Harry’s voice came out muffled as he buried his face in her neck. She chuckled, rolling her eyes and scratching his scalp through his hair.

“Suppose I should make a bit more effort around you, shouldn’t I, really?” She commented, “You are Harry Styles™ after all.” He brought his head out to look up at her with a deep frown, bordering on disgust.

“Nah, fuck that shit. Sloth about if you want to. Do you, sister.” She smiled softly at him. “Doesn’t make me wanna shag you any less.” She threw her head back in a lazy cackle, and he took that opportunity to press a few kisses to her throat.

“Is that all I am to you… a hole?” She shook her head at him and tried to move, only for him to pull her closer again – damn Brad for those inescapable arms.

“Now, now... you’ve got two other holes which I’m also very fond of.” He smoothed his hands down her sides. “Even if I only got to be in one for about two and a half seconds… and the other one only opens on my birthday.” He pinched at her waist and she gasped, slapping at his arm.

“Got that right.” She said smugly, leaning forward to kiss him firmly on the lips.

“Mmm, now that you mention it,” He bit his lip, nose still grazing Stella’s. “Your arse has been looking a lot rounder... fuller.” He cupped it in his hands, so familiar with the way it felt.

“Stooooop.” She pushed at him, yet again, to no avail.

“Can barely fit it in my hands now.” He was exaggerating, easily grabbing a fistful.

“Harry.” She chastised, trying to roll away. He flipped the duvet off of the two of them, exposing her naked figure.

“Let’s take a closer look, eh?” He instead rolled her to her front, she cackled, accepting her fate and running a hand over her face. “Ah, yes, I believe the mandem would call this, a bunda.” He smoothed his hands up and down over the bare skin, she laughed louder at him pretending to inspect her.

“Stop it, you idiot.” Stella, covered her face in embarrassment as Harry manhandled her arse with his fingers, kneading the flesh like dough.

“No? A batty then.” He questioned, licking a stripe up a cheek and then digging his teeth in for a bite. Stella gasped, feeling a heat pool in her abdomen. She looked down at him then, arching her back to push her bum out to his face. “Oh, so now you like it?”

One thing about Harry; he could make Stella feel like a supermodel. She felt incredibly average in her everyday life, whether it was doing the weekly shop or working the wards. But she always felt undeniably sexy with him — even laid bare before his eyes. When he manhandled her like this, she felt the urge to set up a camera to push record, just so she could watch it back to see herself with him. See him work her up from an outside perspective.

She flipped her hair over to one side, biting down on her lip as he pressed open-mouth kisses all over her arse, feeling herself grow wetter and wetter. She turned her head to watch him again, loving the sight of her gorgeous man worshiping her. His eyes were closed, almost in a dreamlike state, as he pushed each kiss with a small groan and a wet smack.

Ghosting his lips up the crack of her bum, Harry spread her cheeks and spat in the gap, causing Stella to groan. 

“Mm, yes… get it wet, baby.” She sighed out, her voice taking on that velvet tone that had him driving his hips into the duvet. Unable to wait and knowing exactly what she wanted, Harry continued to massage her cheeks up and outwards while he went to town on her hole. He glanced up to watch her burying her face into the pillow, clutching it and groaning from her chest. Unlike when he went down on her up front, Stella could never look directly at him when he ate her arse. She loved it, but he knew she’d never straight up ask for it, so he’d have to take the lead to bring them into the position they were now in, so that she could enjoy herself without embarrassment.

Forcing her hips back into his face, Harry growled and brought his hand down with a smack, followed by a harsh grip, making her arch and throw her head back. Keeping his lips attached to her hole, he cupped under her hip bones and lifted until she was up on her knees, her sacred parts fully displayed out for him. Before he had a chance to get his own fingers on her, she was rubbing slow, deep circles into her clit, moaning from her throat, hair coating her face as she pressed into the pillow.

He smirked when their fingers brushed and moved back slightly to spit at her again, licking and smacking his lips against her puckering hole that was clenching in rhythm with her heavy breathing. Her fingers came to move in tandem over his on her clit, allowing her to guide her own pleasure.

“Fuuuuuck me, I’m gonna come, love your fucking mouth.” Curses tumbled from her lips but before she could reach the apex, she was flipped to her back. Harry grabbed her wrist as she bounced back on the mattress, hair a disarray and chest and face carrying a delicious flush, and placed it back on her pussy. She immediately began her furious ministrations again.

“Come, baby,” He ordered, lying on his stomach, face inches from where her fingers were flying, he spat on her once more to keep her going. “Let me see that pussy clench.” He held her legs open and she winced over the stretch pulling at her inner thighs. At last, silently screaming, Stella’s mouth went agape. Her chin dropping to her chest, eyebrows drawing in almost impossibly close and finally breaking eye contact as they rolled to the back of her head. “Yes, yes, yes.” He chanted, mesmerised.

Seconds of silence were finally met with a deep growl from her throat as her head fell back on her shoulders and she convulsed in ecstasy. Harry pulled her wrist away and attached his lips to her clit, sucking it like a sticky sweet. Every breath that escaped her lungs was paired with a small high-pitched moan, her nails digging into her boyfriend’s head while her hips rutted into his face.

Harry could tell she was coming down, after years of pleasuring her he knew her body almost as well as she did. He moved to press soft kisses across her labia, continuing up to her soft tummy, each full breast and up to her neck. Her ankles locked around his lower back as she draped her arms across his shoulders — feeling consumed and divinely pleasured. 

Harry rutted up into the backs of her thighs, “You’re such a little sex pot, aren’t you,” another rut, a moan from her, “could watch you play with yourself forever.” Another rut, “We should film ourselves.”

“Oh, yeah,” She sighed over a laugh, shaking her head. “Can’t imagine what could go wrong there.”

“No one will ever see, baby.” Harry whispered, darkly, running the tip of his nose up her cheek, pushing a kiss into her temple. “Wanna take you away with me, I’ve been in love too long… I’m too grown to be missing you… touching myself like a teenager over just the thought of you… your body… the way it feels… the way it responds to me… wanna have something to really remind me.”

It’s like he was drunk, all this mumbling, he was drunk on her. On them. It was all Stella could do but to lie back and take it, they didn’t even need to place him inside her, he just rutted until he slipped in, a soft gasp leaving her lips as he slid along her walls. 

She caressed the side of his face with the tips of her fingers, both of their bodies pressed together and rocking back and forth together. It was intense — Stella had never cried during sex before, but the feeling of burning behind her eyes suggested a first time for everything.

Harry’s pubic bone continued grazing her clit, so right that it was almost maddening. Stella couldn’t control her moaning, it was nearly too much. His strong hips sped up consistently until their breathing was mingling together in a tangle of hot air and she was clinging to him for dear life.

“Baby, baby, baby, fuck!” Stella squealed rhythmically as they rocked, “God, Harry.” She cried in disbelief and tried her hardest to keep her eyes on his, she couldn’t bare to miss a moment of the look on his face — just so enamoured, present and fucked out. They needed this so badly. She ran her thumb over his bottom lip. “I love you…” Stella was feeling every emotion, Harry had done what only he could, he’d stripped her walls and made her submit. “I’m beyond in love with you, Harry.” She breathed out with a moan that had Harry tearing up, but also speeding up. “I’m part of you.”

“Fuck…” Harry cursed, holding his mouth over hers and panting over the excursion of his hips, his masculine instinct kicking in. He was fucking her like an animal fucks his mate – like it was the last thing he’d ever do. 

When he finally came, it was with a juvenile whine as she held his chin between her thumb and fingers and clenched down hard, and she was reminded of her gentle and sensitive lover. She brought him down to kiss her and his repetitive, high-pitched moans vibrated on her tongue. Rolling off of her, they both laid with their arms splayed out, Stella’s head still resting on Harry’s forearm. She stuck her tongue out at the icky feeling of his come dribbling out of her, but could barely feel her legs to move to the toilet.

“You get sooo emotional when we fuck.” Harry panted, energy spent, droplets of sweat running back into his hairline.

“Shut up, I can’t help it.” Stella weakly hit his rising chest with the back of her hand, making him laugh. “Your dick triggers me.”

“Nah, I love it. Never change.” She smiled at that, rolling slightly to throw a sticky leg over his hips.

“Oh, don’t worry, this temper and batty isn’t going anywhere, baby.”

~

Read more from the Been There All Along universe here!

#harry styles #harry styles writing #harry styles fanfic #harry styles fanfiction #harry styles fic rec #harry styles angst #harry styles imagine #harry styles blurb #harry styles one shot #harry styles smut #harry styles fic

[circe69]

You're Welcome

Simon "Ghost" Riley x Fem! Reader

summary: reader helps ghost with injury!

genre: fluff!

warnings: mentions of blood, injuries, fights, maybe a tiny bit suggestive but very sfw!

ps: hey! very first fic I've ever written, enjoyyy

_______________________________________________

You walked into the cafeteria. Your troop was allowed only 1 hour to eat, and you were starving. 

It’s freezing, you think. You had just woken up a few minutes ago, and it was always colder in the morning. Plus, the outfits they offer weren’t always the warmest. Not for the women, at least. You were given a thin long sleeved shirt that hugged your body, along with a pair of jean shorts that didn’t cover nearly enough of your legs. 

Unfortunately, you were one of maybe 10 women in the whole troop, which was terrifying enough. Being surrounded by men isn’t really your ideal situation, but you knew that this was where you were supposed to be. 

As you sat down to eat by yourself, you notice a large group of guys yelling at each other from across the dining hall. 

So embarrassing. They’re grown men. 

You go back to eating the disgusting slop on your tray, not wanting to even acknowledge them. Punches were being thrown left and right, guns were being chucked out at random, and a man who goes by the name of Ghost was right in the middle of everything

You liked Ghost. A lot actually. He was a big man who never showed his face, and although you’ve never really had a conversation with him, you started to smile down at your lap as you heard his booming british voice scream over every other man standing around him. 

Suddenly, you hear a gun cock, and a loud thud, followed by gasps. 

Ghost had been hit right in the jaw with someone’s rifle. You jumped up, trying to see what was happening. He was on his knees, one hand holding his cheek, the other trying to steady himself on the cold concrete. You hear him screaming curses from across the room, and blood is dripping down his skull-face balaclava. He stood up, shakily, and walked slowly to the nearby janitor's closet. 

You quickly grabbed some bandages and rubbing alcohol from your denim bag, the closet would probably already have some but you needed to be sure. You didn’t know why, but you felt inclined to help him. 

I don’t think I’ve ever seen him walk away from a fight before. I’ve definitely never seen him injured. 

You walked briskly to the closet down the hall, your boots clanking on the floor. You paused before entering, not sure whether you should knock or yell or what. You raised your fist up to the door and knocked twice, quietly. You could hear his groaning and heavy breathing from outside the door. No answer. 

“Ghost?” You said.

“What?” He growled. “What do you want?”

“Can I come in? Please?”

He winced in pain, you heard him shift around. 

“Fine.” 

You opened the door, it creaked open. Ghost was sitting on the floor, his shirt removed. The only light source was coming from a burned out lightbulb hanging a few inches above your head. You shut the door behind you, and just looked at him for a few seconds too long. You scanned his whole body, neck, down to his chest, then torso. If he would’ve asked, you would’ve said you were only looking to make sure he wasn’t hurt anywhere else, but that would’ve been a lie. 

“What are you staring at? What are you even doing here, y/n?”, he spoke in a voice as smooth as liquor. 

How does he know my name?

“I wanted to make sure you were okay.” You whispered. “Can I check your jaw?”

You took a few steps closer to him before kneeling before him, in between his legs. 

He breathed out, “Fine.”

You weren’t even sure if the light was good enough to see the wound. You didn’t care though, you just wanted to feel him.

You scooched a little bit more towards him, feeling awkward in the position you two were in. You were about to move completely until he grabbed you by the waist and swiftly put you on his lap. 

You gasped at his abrupt movement. You were completely straddling his bare torso, and he seemed fine with it. 

“Thought this would be more comfortable. Is it okay?” He asks quietly, almost like he was nervous to even open his mouth. 

You hummed, nodded your head. If you had opened your mouth then, you might’ve said something you would regret. 

His forearms were still resting on your hips, hands just floating off the edge of your backside. 

Trying to ignore it, you slowly raised your hands to his neck. Your fingertips just grazing his skin seemed to be painful, but you tried to be careful. As you tried to get closer to inspect, your nose was a few centimeters away from his jaw. He smelled amazing, unfortunately. You almost hated how addicting he smelled. Almost like a bonfire, something dark but still happy. 

You whispered, “You smell good.”, into his neck. You didn’t even mean to let that slip out, but it was kinda worth it, watching his breathing falter a little bit. All he did was hum in response. 

You dragged your fingers up his neck, and started lifting up his mask to look closer at his jaw. He grabbed your wrist and said, “What are you doing?” 

You faintly smiled, “I need to look at your jaw. I won’t take it off all the way.”

His hand dropped, back down to where it was resting before, only this time, his thumb went through one of your belt loops. 

Your muscles tensed in shock, but then quickly relaxed. You felt like you were just melting over him. 

Your fingers pushed up his mask, inch by inch, until the whole lower half of his face was exposed. 

His lips are gorgeous. You thought. He had a scar on his left cheek that you accidentally ran your fingers over, but then quickly got back to what you were supposed to be doing. 

You grabbed some gauze and alcohol, and started dabbing the wound with it. He inhaled through his teeth in pain, and grabbed your hips roughly. 

“Y/n, could you hurry up? This hurts more than I’d like to admit.”

You scoffed, and finished cleaning the wound before putting a large bandaid on it, stroking his face as you laid it on the cut. 

“Done.” You whispered. 

“Thank yo-”

You cut him off mid sentence by putting your mouth on his. Your hands moved to his neck, then to his hair as your lips intertwined with his. You broke from the kiss, sighing, his hands resting back on your waist, drawing circles carefully underneath your shirt.

“You're welcome.”

#simon riley x reader #simon riley #ghost mw2 #ghost cod #ghost fluff #ghost imagine #simon riley fluff #circe69scribbles

[destielfanfic]

from the inbox, #10

I love to see new asks about post season 15 destiel fics but my answers are mostly the same, unfortunately. The usual disclaimer applies - our blog transitioned to archive in January 2018, during season 13, and our new fic recs drastically decreased.

Hello, could you recommend any plot-driven fics set post-15x20 that are a bit longer and also explore the relationship between Dean and Castiel? I'm mostly looking for something that is canon compliant (Dean dies and goes to heaven in 15x20)

I’ve answered similar asks on our previous from the inbox posts, so definitely check out those. But for the sake of convenience, here are some links - post 15x20 rec lists Happiness isn’t in the Having and Good things Do Happen . These are mostly short fics, but you can always check out the authors and see if they have longer fics. 

This is random, but do you know any fics where Dean starts dating cas because he feels bad? Something like dean dates castiel as a pity date? I've really been wanting to read something like that :p 

This is very random indeed! Especially if that is meant in a post 15x20 setting. I must admit I’m drawing a blank here. 

hi! not sure if this is the right place to ask this (if it’s not im rly sorry!) but can u rec me some destiel fics where like . dean thought they were dating all along and cas didn’t? sorry if it didn’t make a lot of sense! thanks  

And this is an opposite of the previous ask!

OK, guys, since there is huge interest in post finale destiel fics, I’m opening floor for follower recs/ self recs on this post. Please add in reblogs or notes destiel fics that fit these criteria: 

A - longer, plot driven post 15x20 fics that explore Dean and Cas relationship

B - fics where Dean takes Cas on a pity date after Cas confessed his love in 15x18; canon verse fics are preferred but if you have some AUs, feel free to add

C - fics where Dan thought they were dating while Cas had no idea

＊＊＊＊

We have some fic suggestions from our followers！

A - canon verse fics dealing with 15x20

The Blood Curse by Labgeek2002 [M, 32,700 word count]

Castiel has been rescued from the Empty, but the spell used to retrieve him tears a hole in the dimensional wall that acts as barrier protecting Earth from the pull of everlasting darkness. As the Empty feeds off of Castiel's grace to sustain itself, driving him closer to death with every passing minute, Dean becomes desperate to save him. The only way to repair the damage is for Dean, Sam, and Cas to travel back in time to obtain a witch's stone that's in the possession of John Winchester, circa 2002. A twenty-three year old Dean Winchester will serve as their guide as they navigate the tumultuous father-son relationship that transcends time itself before the Empty draws its final curtain.

Beyond This Illusion by tiaevans87 [NC-17, 161,400 word count]

“Are you serious, Dean? Your djinn-dream started with you dying?” Sam asks incredulously from the passenger seat on the way back to the bunker. “Well, technically it started with us going on a hunt,” Dean points out. He licks his lips, jaw clenching. “I mean, there was Heaven, too, and that was pretty cool.” Sam stares at him. “Unbelievable,” he breathes, scrunching his face up in distaste. When Dean glares at him, he holds his hands up defensively and chuckles weakly. “Sorry, man, but that just sounds pretty lame.” He leans back and folds his arms. “It just…I dunno. Kinda sounds like something Chuck would cook up. Just you and me. No one else. I mean, really?” He scoffs, slumping. *~*~* In which some people come back, Cas learns to be human (the right way, this time), Dean Winchester finally realizes that good things do happen, and they all get their version of the post-credits, apple-pie life they deserved. AKA: Screw Chuck's narrative.

B - Dean takes Cas on a pity date

On Labor by a_good_soldier [NC-17, 24,600 word count]

Cas is back from the Empty, and Dean knows how to be grateful.

because he wears cowboy boots by mmtion [NC-17, 65,300 word count]

When Cas comes back from the Empty, Dean has to rethink everything about their relationship, and Dean’s new, post-Chuck duty. He wants Cas to be happy and get what he wants. So, if he wants Dean, then he has him. Dean’s new responsibility is to be the best boyfriend Cas will ever want or need. If that means moving out of the bunker, and not driving the Impala, and letting Cas fuck him, then that’s what he has to do. It’s an easy deal. It should be an easy life. So how come Dean still can’t quite make sense of it?

#destiel #from the inbox #su #this is kinda experiment #let's see how that goes #all recs fitting the criteria are welcome #feel free to add some thoughts #your very own mini reviews

[avissapiens]

Jockbull Summer Week 1 (12/11/23-18/11/23) - Set A

Model used is Tsonghan Wu

1 & 2.

I don’t typically train with push ups all that often, but I picked this as my personal goal because there’s such a potent jock energy about being able to show off and crank out effortless reps of push ups. Massive high school sports star energy. But we started small. Only managed 22 on my first day. Granted it was immediately after a Push session.

The second attempt however I integrated the competitive element. I went to one of my best friends from back home, K. Total stud who i’ve always envied and idolized. I expect he’ll come up a few more times before this is over so might as well give him some designation. I asked him to make it a contest to beat his score. He hit 30 in one go. I pushed myself so fucking hard because I would not lose to him. I was gonna kick his ass. And I did. I hit 31 and then spent a good minute on the floor unable to get up. It felt so fucking good tho. Increasing by so much. Pushing and winning against my bro. It made my night. 3rd attempt i hit 32. If i keep increasing. Keep pushing. Maybe i’ll get to 100 by the end.

3.

The first step is an important milestone. Obviously as a Self-employed writer/full time student in a different country I don't have a MASSIVE collection of clothes to chuck out (you all can change that). But there are definitely a few that I already know are going to get the boot when the time comes. The reason this one was so important for me and Jockrs is because we both felt that as long as those old clothes were an option, I’d keep defaulting to them out of habit. Over-sized, drab, boring. Hiding the gainz and the new person i want to become. So the first piece I threw out was a fairly cheap ugly grey long sleeved shirt that I bought when I first moved to NZ. 6XL. Bought 3 sizes too big for me at a time when I was 3 sizes too big for me. And as I've leaned down and put on muscle, all this shirt does is wash me out and make me swim in fabric. It had to go. But I still feel indebted to it. It was a go-to piece of clothing on my worst Dysmorphia days when I felt like a fat, disgusting piece of shit. It helped me deal with the anxiety of being in a new place where I clearly didn’t look like I belonged. It helped me hide when I needed to hide. But i don’t need to hide anymore.

4.

Unfortunately I couldn't really work on this as much as I wanted. Jokers was still in exam mode so some of the shared tasks that required him were a bust. That said, I did slip a few more "dudes", "mans" and "bros" into my chatter with gym bros. And I went as far as coaching some dudes through my leg day workout. This is one I'm eager to make progress on because it's so antithetical to what I've always been. My speech has always been a weird indistinguishable hybrid. I’ve been mistaken for American, British and Canadian. I’ve had my voice described as “trans-Atlantic”, Despite coming from the Caribbean. I was always discouraged from indulging too much in dialect and slang when I was young. “Speak properly”. Combined with being fairly bookish and advanced, maybe that led to some good things in the long run. My skill with words, language and voice are unique. They’re why you all love me. But it did mean that by the time I was in secondary school I was a little alienated from my peers. I didn’t talk like them. I didn’t want to either but it was rough always being mistaken for a foreigner on soil you have never left in your life. In a sense, me picking up an even more exaggerated americanized accent is taking that full circle. Developing a bit more control over my speech to inhabit an ideal I have always longed for. Sounds cool, rite brah?

5.

Again, one restricted by Jockrs being in exam mode. I didn’t want to get too far. But we finally watched the first episode of the 2018 series. One of the rare occasions where the dub is notably better than the sub. But god. What a wild ride. 10/10. No notes. It's just pure gas. And that first episode really struck a chord with me. Something visceral about being palpably perceived as a threat. Emanating danger from you that lessers can sense in their bones. Actually being a weapon in human form. I get such a thrill from that concept. I understand why the toxic tik tok gym bro crowd latches on to this show so much. I think I will too.

#muscle #jock #hypnosis #bull #bodybuilding

[dutchvanwinkle]

Mr Van der Linde Pt. 5 - Dutch x Reader

Hello again darlings! I hope those of you celebrating Easter / Ramadam / Passover are having a wonderful weekend, did you know this overlap only happens three times every century? How cool is that!! Whether you're observing a holiday or not, it's now time for us to all come together and fantasize about daddy Dutch :)

I would apologise for the wait between this chapter and the last, but I did say this fic would be relatively slow in updates. I wrote a good chuck of this chapter then decided I hated it, took some time away from it, came back, then realised it wasn't as bad as I'd made out in my head lol. It's a pretty fluffy one tbh, and even if it's not as long as the previous one I hope you still enjoy!

It's on ao3, too!

Summary: Your relationship with Dutch deepens when you spend more time with him after a stressful week.

Word count: 6,471

Content warnings: smut, mildly creepy dutch

PART 1 | PART 2 | PART 3 | PART 4 | PART 5 | PART 6 | PART 7 | PART 8 | PART 9 | PART 10

‗‗‗‗‗‗‗‗‗‗‗‗‗‗‗‗‗‗‗

Despite everyone’s knowledge of the end of the academic year, not one of your group of friends took the responsibility of arranging the flat for you to all live in together for second year. So, once again, you and Karen were in the same one - with John, Abigail, Sean, and Javier across the hall in theirs. You didn’t mind much; you were all too deep in the habit of leaving your flats unlocked anyway so the others could wander in should they please. It was dumb, but you hadn’t been robbed yet and imagined that’s what it would take for you to change your ways. 

Abigail had made extra dinner and you were the first to claim the portion, skipping across the hall and ambling in with a grin on your face. The two of you ate and chatted with the TV filling the background noise. Karen had joined not long after, and the three of you found yourselves sprawled on the sofa, tired from a full day.  

Second year was noticeably harder, no more easing you into university life – the theory and assignments were tough. However, thanks to your hard work in the previous semester it wasn’t an impossible leap. It had been for some, Javier regularly coming around in an attempt to inconspicuously copy your coursework.  

Just as you were mentally preparing yourself for the next day, the last before the weekend, your phone buzzed. 

Naughty girl. 

Dutch. You cleared your throat, pausing a moment before opening his message. He hadn’t taken any liberties with his possession of your phone number, and your inbox had been decidedly empty since the last time you saw him. 

?? 

Was this the old-person way of flirting? Was it sexting? Hopefully, your response would allow room for clarification. 

I was just in my photo gallery. 

Oh. You smiled to yourself. Another message. 

I almost dropped my phone. 

Sorry, won’t happen again. 

It better happen again, miss. I’ve already made good use of it, and now I’m in need of more. 

Good god, the thought of him pleasuring himself to a photo of you brought heat all over your neck. “I’m just gonna use your bathroom,” you stood up to excuse yourself, getting no response from your friends. 

Once inside, you looked around, knowing full well it was empty and quickly flicked the lock on the door, before pulling your top over your head. Glancing over your reflection in the mirror, you tried to figure out the best angle that’d reveal enough but not too much. 

Eventually, you got an angle you were happy with, only your jaw in view and your tits on full display. You cropped the photo (including your bottom half was a bit too much, right now at least) when his name appeared in your notification bar again. 

Too far? 

Bless him, he could see you’d read his message but left him without a response for ten minutes. Without giving yourself time to chicken out, you sent the picture to him. 

Sorry, I was distracted. 

He read it instantly, and it took a full minute before you could see he was typing. Then the dots disappeared. Then reappeared. Then disappeared again. You smiled to yourself, pulling your top over your head and flushing the toilet for good measure, before venturing back out and returning to the sofa. Dutch finally decided on what to say once you’d made yourself comfy. 

Come see me this weekend. 

If only. A weekend being fucked repeatedly was just what you needed, exhaustion already settling into your mind thanks to your busy schedule being back in action. Unfortunately, said schedule was exactly why you couldn’t. 

Can’t, sorry. I’m working tomorrow and Saturday. 

Fuck work. I’ll pay you. 

“What are you smiling at?” 

You glanced up, Karen looking at you inquisitively, Abigail taking her attention off the TV in turn to see what the fuss was. 

“Nothing?” you said casually. 

“You’ve been grinning at that phone of yours for five minutes.” 

“I have not been grinning.”  

She raised a brow, the look on her face turning to intrigue. 

“Please tell me it’s a guy. Or a girl. Or anything with a pulse,” Abigail pleaded, and you tutted while Karen cackled. 

“I’ve told you I don’t have time for that crap! Besides, I’m perfectly fine as I am,” you said defensively, folding your arms and ignoring the buzz of a message on your phone. 

“We all need a good screw now and again,” Karen said plainly, Abigail nodding in agreement. 

Don’t we just. “Oh, and Maquire is providing that service well enough for you, is he?” 

She shot you a glare, and as she was about to retort the main door opened, the man himself trailed by Javier and John. 

“Yeah, alright,” John said, his phone held up against his ear while he set the bag of shopping on the counter. 

“Hello ladies,” Javier greeted you all, beginning to put away their communal shop which was pathetically void of nutrients and taken up mostly by cans of beer. 

Sean pulled off his boots, hopping a little before it gave and sighing proudly when it did. “Any of you want a drink?” 

You shook your head, as did Abigail, but Karen held her hand out. 

“Ah, that’s why I love ya,” he grinned, handing a can out to Karen who scoffed in disgust before snatching it from him. 

“Okay, fine, yeah. I can do that. See you later,” John said, hanging up his call and letting his phone drop into his pocket. 

“Everything okay?” Abigail asked while John played tetris stacking the beers in the fridge. 

“Yeah, just my dad. He’s coming down this weekend.” 

That got your attention. Surely not - 

“Says Tilly’s been angling to see the city. He was just checking I was free to spend time with them.” 

“Aw,” Abigail sat up, “will we get to see them?” 

John shrugged, and your phone buzzed again. 

I’m serious. read Dutch’s previous message to you, followed by his most recent one: Looking forward to seeing you. 

You neglected to respond just yet, not wanting to draw any more attention to yourself. That man worked fast.  

“Where are you gonna take them?” 

“God knows. Knowing Dad,” John sat down beside Abigail, “he’ll have already drafted up a full itinerary.” 

You smirked at the thought, a warmth growing in your chest. 

- 

Dutch was fond of John’s friends. They were a decent bunch, and he’d been glad to see their familiar faces when he and Tilly arrived in the city the next morning, dropping their bags at the hotel before coming to visit John’s flat. He reminded himself repeatedly not to comment on the lack of cleanliness students seemed to thrive in. 

It was nice to see John, along with Javier who he’d watched grow up with his son. Abigail was extra friendly, and thanks to a little birdie he understood why. She was a nice girl. They were all nice. But the one he wanted to see the most was unfortunately yet to descend on the flat despite John’s assurance that everyone swings round all the time.  

“I’m going out for a cigarette,” Dutch announced, departing the flat and being met with the doorway to yours opposite him. He tried his luck, finding it unlocked, and mentally chastised you for being careless. He wasn’t sure which room was yours, though he thought it a good enough excuse to have wandered into the wrong flat should anyone ask. Two of the doors were ajar, and after a peek, he found them empty. The flat was quiet, and he decided there was no harm in trying the closed ones. He knocked on the next door, getting no response and so pushing it open. 

Dutch smiled to himself as the air entered his nose; it smelled just like you.  

Thanks to the strange layout, he could see the end of your bed and a slight bump under the duvet where your feet lay. “Tut tut,” he hummed as he took a couple of steps in, “you really should keep it locked – oh.” 

His brows pulled together as his voice died in his mouth at the sight of you fast asleep and bundled up in your bed, completely flat out. He debated waking you but was distracted by seeing the inside of your room for the first time. A little nosy never hurt anybody.  

Hands in his pockets, he observed the pictures up on your wall and smiled fondly at the ones including his drunken son. Then, he glanced over the perfume bottles lined up near your small desk mirror, then to the books and paper laid out beside your laptop accompanied by an empty mug from the previous day. It was then that he turned his attention back to you, hair ruffled with one arm out of the covers. 

Dutch sat on the edge of your bed and brushed a strand of hair from your peaceful face. It was enough to make you stir, and you cranked your eyes open. He smirked as he observed your expression, going from alarmed to relaxed when you realised it was him, then back to alarmed when you realised it was him.  

“You really should lock your flat, and your door,” he greeted. 

You rubbed your eyes, wondering if the man had come to visit you in a dream though it felt undeniably real as you remembered your conversation with John the previous day.  “Or perhaps,” you said around a yawn, “strange men shouldn’t let themselves in and sit on my bed.” 

“Strange men?” Dutch looked mildly offended. “I’d hate to know what you do with familiar men.” 

“Very funny,” you grumbled, pulling the covers up to your neck. “What time is it?” 

“Ten thirty. I didn’t think you were one to sleep in late.” His hand rested on your lower leg, and the added pressure was soothing and lessened your motivation further for starting your day. 

“I’m not. But I’ve got a long day today, so I’m treating myself,” you shut your eyes and felt Dutch shift his weight on the bed. You felt his warmth over you before you felt the kiss he pressed to your cheek, and you couldn’t help but smile at the sweetness of it. It awoke other unsavoury sensations that you usually repressed in the morning. 

It was as though he sensed it, brushing his hand up your leg and moving to kiss your jaw, an added tenderness compared to its predecessor. You sighed contently, the comfort of Dutch’s soft chuckle reaching your ears. There was no option but to give in, your eyes fluttering open as you shifted onto your back, allowing Dutch to manoeuvre himself on top of you. His face filled with pride, but when he moved in to kiss you, you put your hand up as a barricade.  

“I haven’t brushed my teeth,” you explained, and he huffed a laugh. 

“I could care less. But, if you insist,” his hand travelled further up the path of your body, cupping your breast as his lips tended to your neck instead, which you bared for him gladly. 

“Was it really worth coming all this way?” you asked, lazily watching him trail his lips around your skin. 

“Of course,” he said, hardly breaking his path, “need I remind you of my lack of interest in desiring a thing. I prefer -” 

“- to have it, right.” Dutch smiled up at you, and the tardy realisation hit you that you were now finishing his sentences. “How was the drive up?” you asked quickly, hoping to alleviate any teasing forming in his mind. 

“Just swell,” he answered, trailing his hand underneath your pyjama top to knead your breasts. His fingers moved gently in circles, testing your tenderness as they neared your nipple and lightly tweaking the now erect buds. Then his mouth came down over the fabric, and he sucked one into his mouth, leaving a wet patch behind that he eyed fondly once he was done. 

“You know,” you set up on your elbows, craning your neck to look at the door, “I really should lock my door. Just in case.” 

Dutch placed his palm on your chest, applying pressure until you lay back down. “No no, you want to leave it unlocked, then you leave it unlocked.” 

“I’m serious,” you attempted to sit up again but damn he was strong, “John lets himself in all the time.” 

“Does he,” Dutch hummed, moving his head down to suck your nipple in again and released, “I ought to teach the boy some manners.” 

“Dutch, it’s not funny. Let me lock the -” 

As you tried to sit up Dutch applied his full weight onto you and mouthed at your neck while all the air was knocked from your lungs. Strong and heavy. It would be a comfort if you could only breathe, and grumbled incoherently at your body’s response to being trapped by him despite the danger of the situation.  

“Now,” Dutch cooed, lifting his head and running his thumb along your chin, “don’t you worry. I’ve been fit to burst since you sent me those pictures.” 

“I thought you -” 

“I did, but it’s not the same.” With that, he eased off slightly as you gradually accepted this was a risk you’d just have to take, and wrapped his hand around your inner thigh to shift your legs apart. “Huh, looks like I’m not the only one.” 

You frowned down to observe what he was looking at and were met with the moist material of your pyjama shorts. “Goddamnit.” 

Dutch chuckled while he trailed his fingers up and down your mound, and it wasn’t long before you were grinding up in time with his movements. He always seemed to know the exact pressure and pace you wanted, and often reigned it back some so as to keep you frustrated. You were about to ask him to get on with it, considering the risk and limited time you had before your day started, when he removed his hand to undo his jeans and pull out his frustrated-looking cock. The man didn’t even look at you, nor give you any warning, before moving your shorts to the side and sliding right in. And curse your body once again, allowing him the smoothest of passages. 

A sigh of relief left him, the sort one would make when sinking into a hot bath. He stayed there a moment, nosing at your neck and brushing his palm down your flank to your shorts, the fabric of which he bunched up in his hand. At least you weren’t wearing any underwear he would inevitably steal. 

“How could this not be worth the journey,” he mused, and you realised he was in fact talking to himself. Still, you sighed out a laugh. 

Dutch moved his torso off yours, straightening up to grab your outer thighs in each hand. His grip was tight, bruising almost, and he held you right where he wanted you as he pulled out and began thrusting in a slow, deep rhythm. His head tipped back, and you stayed watching him, the euphoric pleasure seeping over his face enough to keep you lubricated down below. It truly was nice to know you were the cause of such a response. Well, your body, at least. 

“Now,” his heavy gaze met yours, and he leaned forward to plant one hand on your headboard and left the other gripping your hip, “let’s get to it, shall we?” 

There was no room to answer before he deepened his thrusts, his thick cock thoroughly filling you. He was perfectly anchored to the bed and you, and being leant forward slightly enabled him to brush over the plush, pulsating spot inside you repeatedly. Swiftly building up your impending orgasm, you thanked your accommodation for not giving you squeaky beds despite their questionable quality.   

Dutch’s grunts sounded at the same time as his thrusts, his lips pressed together to limit any other noise and you did the same, quiet gasps leaving you on occasion. “You gonna come for me, pretty girl?” he asked through a laboured breath. 

“Mhm,” you answered and wrapped your legs around him, pulling him further in and it was the last bit of motivation he needed to fuck you into your mattress until silently you came, back arching and hands gripping the duvet beneath. Dutch continued to fuck into you while your orgasm ebbed away, and you bore through the over-stimulation until he pressed his hips as far forward as he could, filling you up as you felt his cock twitch inside you.  

Your breath evened out while he dropped his head forward to run a hand through his hair. “My memory did not do you justice.” 

“That right?” you tilted your head in amusement and he hummed his agreement while slowly pulling out and doing a poor job of catching his spend. Guess you’d be changing your sheets today.  

“Mind if I use your bathroom?” he asked and you gestured to the door to your ensuite in agreement. While he was there, you pulled some wipes out from your side table and cleaned yourself up. 

“What have you got planned for today?” you asked as he ventured back in, doing up the fasten of his belt. 

“Probably get some food, walk around and see what we can find,” he pulled out a cigarette and lit it, gesturing to your fire alarm that was tactically covered by a sock. “You really are a naughty girl.” 

You snorted a laugh and sat up, while he leaned on your desk and cracked your window open to blow the smoke out. “Are they not going to wonder where you are now?” 

“I told them I was going for a cigarette.” 

“Huh, smart.” 

He raised his brows in agreement as he took another drag. “What time are you working until today?” 

“Late,” you shrugged. “I’m on until close.” 

Dutch tutted. “Well, my hotel isn’t far from your work, so you may as well stay with me. I’ll wait up.” 

“I don’t recall telling you where I worked.” 

He smirked, tapping the ash out the window. “You didn’t.” 

“Then how -” 

“I have my ways. I can be rather resourceful when I want to be.” 

“No shit,” you scoffed, ignoring the slight creepiness of him having that knowledge. “But no, thank you, I’ll be too tired.” 

“The hotel bed is very comfortable.” 

“I said no. Besides, you have Tilly with you,” you said, Dutch shifting his position to be half-seated on your desk. 

“She has her own room.” After a final drag, he stubbed out his cigarette and flicked it out your window. He walked over and sat on your bed again, taking your hand in his. “Just consider it?” 

“Fine,” you acquiesced, “I will see how I feel after my shift.” 

“That’s my girl,” he said, a pleased smile forming on his face and moved in to kiss your cheek before standing. “Be sure to say bye before you head off.” 

“Whatever you say,” you rolled your eyes, and with that, he departed, and the urge to shower became urgent. 

You had ten minutes to spare after getting washed and dressed, and couldn’t find anything to busy yourself with so you ended up visiting John’s flat after all. Your friends were all there when you entered, Tilly offered you a hug, and Mr Van der Linde greeted you casually when you entered the flat, like he hadn’t been pounding into you less than an hour ago. 

“Here she is,” John smiled, “you feeling better?” 

Dutch’s expression hardened so fast you could feel it, and you grumbled internally at John once again unintentionally putting his foot in it. “Yeah, fine,” you said quickly, “just needed some sleep.” 

“Perhaps you should skip some lectures and catch up some more,” John teased. 

“You’re actually going?” Javier scoffed from the sofa, taking his attention away from Tilly’s phone where she appeared to be showing him a video. 

“You know I have to,” you deflected, walking over to sit on the arm of the sofa beside him. 

“Eighty percent, you can stand to miss a few.” 

With a playful tilt of your head, you raised your brows accusingly. “Not worth getting into the habit.” 

“Get me a copy of the notes?” he asked sweetly, smiling up at you and taking your hand in his to place a kiss on the back of it. As always, you could never resist, nodding your understanding with a smirk. “Ah, Mr Van der Linde -” Javier’s expression dropped as he look at the man in question, “don’t tell my pa, okay?” 

Before he could respond, Sean decided to get a word in. “My da doesn’t mind me not going, says it’s better I don’t get my head filled by those pompous academic types. N-no offence, Mr Van der Linde,” he held his arms up placatingly. 

“Now, why would I be offended by that?” he asked, genuinely, though Sean visibly began to sweat. 

“No reason! No reason at all -” 

“And on that note,” you cleared your throat, deciding to save Sean before he inevitably fell further into his self-made hole. “I should get going. Nice to see you both again,” you said, mainly to Tilly, and hoped Dutch’s devious expression in response wasn’t as noticeable to anyone else. 

- 

If another person asked you to make a cocktail, you’d scream. It’s a Friday, do these people not know how filled to the brim with students this place was? You weren’t even sure why you offered cocktails at this stupid hour; everyone was too inebriated to even appreciate it, and who needs to spend extra on a drink when they’re out to get as plastered as they can, anyway? Just order a shot and be done with it - 

“Whiskey old-fashioned, please.” 

You turned, half-ready to lose your job for punching a patron and were met with a smiling Dutch on the other side of the bar. 

“Seriously?” you gestured around yourself, both as to why he’d ordered that and why he was there in the first place. 

“Why not?” 

“It’s busy,” you grumbled, making an exasperated show of preparing the glass. 

“Fine,” he chuckled, “just a double on ice will do.” 

You offered him a grateful smile, scooping a few ice cubes out of the tray.  

“Do you always speak to customers that way?” 

“Only the annoying ones,” you shrugged. 

“I’m in half a mind to tell your manager,” he raised his brows, leaning on the bar in a way that enhanced his arms as his burgundy shirt stretched around them. 

“Do that and I’ll ask you for ID. You forget I also have the power to withhold... other things,” you slid the drink over to him, and as you were about to announce the total, he handed you a twenty. “It doesn’t cost that much.” 

“It’s a tip.” 

“No,” you lamented, refusing to be his charity case, “it all goes in a pot anyway.” 

“Consider it an apology for my being a difficult customer,” he answered immediately. “And as a sweetener, so you don’t withhold your oh so generous offerings.” 

You tutted and placed the change to sit stubbornly in front of him on the bar. “I -” your attention was pulled to someone new coming up to the bar, “hold on a second.” 

After pouring out two vodka cokes for them, you returned to Dutch. “Where’s John and Tilly?” 

“John’s back at his flat, I think, and Tilly’s sleeping at the hotel,” he sipped at his drink, and you smirked as he tried to hide that this whiskey was not as fancy as his palate was used to.  

“Will Tilly be alright on her own?” you asked. 

“Of course. I plan to return soon anyway; I just need to pick something up first.” 

“What do you need to – oh,” you realised what – or rather who – he was referring to. “I haven’t agreed to come back with you. Besides, I’m still working.” 

“When do you usually finish?” 

“When everyone leaves,” you narrowed your gaze at him accusingly. 

“Ah,” he hummed in amusement. “It appears to be quietening down.” 

He was right. The crowd was certainly beginning to thin out, and you hoped that in true student fashion, they would all leave to go somewhere busier once they noticed. “I still haven’t agreed.” 

Dutch’s response was the inching of his fingers closing to yours, brushing them over your own secretively. “I would really like you to.” 

“I’m really, really tired, Dutch.” 

“That’s fine, you can go straight to sleep,” at the raise of your brows, he continued with a smile that inched on his face, “I mean it.” 

“I could be a while,” you excused yourself further. 

He finished the last of his drink, pausing a beat before finishing it. “Just text me when you’re done. Otherwise, I’ll stay here until everyone else has left.” 

“Okay, alright,” you rubbed your brow, supposing it couldn’t be too bad if you did just go there to sleep. By now, your trust in him had grown to the point where you believed he would’ve put all the measures in place to ensure the two of you weren’t caught. “I’ll text you.” 

“Good,” he said, pleased, and stood. “I’ll be going now, then.” 

“You mean you don’t want another one of those?” you pointed to his empty glass. 

He gave you an almost weary look, and a laugh slipped from you. 

“I’m only kidding.” 

He shook his head, and for the briefest of moments your heart skipped as you saw his rare, genuine smile. 

“See you later,” you concluded the conversation. 

Dutch folded his jacket over the arm and offered you a secretive wink. “I look forward to it.” 

- 

It was another hour before the bar closed, and you swiftly grabbed your bag from the back room, pulling your phone out to message Dutch at the earliest opportunity. 

You opted for waiting outside, a small way down the street in case any of your colleagues caught you swanning off with an older man who’d visited the bar. He didn’t leave you waiting for long. 

“That was sooner than I expected,” he greeted you, and on the short walk to the hotel, you answered his questions about how your shift went. 

“This is an expensive hotel,” you slowed on the approach, and Dutch rested his hand comfortably on your lower back. Somehow, you always seemed to forget just how rich he was. 

“You think they won’t let you in?” he teased, and you nodded genuinely. “Relax, darling.” 

That worked. Your body softened involuntarily, and walking in with him felt natural, easy. What you’d expected otherwise you weren’t sure, still hyper-aware of how you must look to a passer-by at this moment. Or perhaps they didn’t care. Dutch certainly didn’t. 

The two of you took the lift, walking down the well-decorated hallway until Dutch stopped and swiped his card on a door. You let out a breath once inside, kicking off your shoes and sitting on the edge of the bed without a second thought.  

“You and Javier seem to have an interesting relationship,” he commented, untying his shiny black shoes and placing them neatly by the door. 

“What do you mean by that?” you asked defensively. 

Dutch shrugged casually, clearly a façade. “You seem close. I wondered if there was anything there.” 

You scowled at him, too tired for this line of questioning. “Obviously not -” you paused, remembering yourself despite your newfound anger. “Well, we might’ve had a drunken kiss on our first week, but it didn’t progress beyond that.” 

“Hm. I thought as much.” 

“What is wrong with you?” you said sharply, “why would you ask that?” 

“I was only curious,” he held his hands up before unbuttoning his shirt. “I didn’t realise it was a crime to ask.” 

“It’s not. You’ve no right to be jealous.” 

“Who said I was?” he asked, leaning into a chuckle and it only aggravated you even more. 

You huffed out some of your anger. “It’s pretty obvious. I’m not stupid. And you’re not as good at hiding things as you think.” 

His face altered from unbothered to mildly entertained. “I don’t see why you’re getting so defensive. It was only a question.” 

Your mouth opened to let a retort pass through, but none came. The fucker wasn’t wrong, he had only asked. In your exhausted state, you questioned whether you’d read too much into it, and frowned at the ground while rubbing the stress from your brow. Keeping so much contained was a problem in times like this, when emotions escaped out into the world. “I don’t - I just -” you began, feeling yourself getting worked up. 

“Okay, alright, darling. Come here,” Dutch sat beside you, opening his arms and you tucked yourself into the warm embrace. 

“Sorry,” you sighed quietly, “this is why I didn’t want to come. I get grouchy when I’m tired.” 

“I can tell,” he teased, but the kiss placed on the crown of your head balanced it out. “You’ve been sick, John said?” 

“Not sick. Just tired this week, that’s all.” 

Dutch paused, tightening his arms around you. “It doesn’t look like you’re going to have any time to rest in the near future.” 

“I’ll take a weekend off work at something,” you mumbled, almost on autopilot as it wasn’t the first time you’d been berated for being too much of a try-hard. 

“Why do I get the impression you’re lying?” he asked gently, and your responding laugh was mirthless. “I like most things about you, except this.” 

“Except what?” you asked, resting your head on his shoulder to catch his eyes. 

“This incessant need you have to work yourself to fatigue. It’s unhealthy.” 

“It’s temporary,” you insisted. 

“If you would only let me -” 

“Don’t you dare offer me money again.” That was a place you’d never go to, a sense of pride far too strong to accept his help. You could do it. You just... need to complain occasionally. And maybe have someone that could help alleviate the stress using tried and true methods. “Wait, you said most. What else don’t you like about me?” 

He paused, as though he hadn’t expected that question. “I suppose how little time I get to spend with you.” 

“That’s a cop-out.” 

Dutch laughed, releasing you from his embrace and standing to continue getting undressed. A feeling resembling awe settled in your body at how proudly he stood, in only his underwear, while finding a pair of joggers to wear for bed. He hooked his thumbs into the band of his pants but paused, slyly looking over his shoulder at you. You swiftly averted your gaze. 

“You’re allowed to look, I don’t mind,” he said with amusement, and you only looked back once you’d heard his underwear come off and joggers come on. You were far too tired to go another round, but you feared your body would decide otherwise if you caught a glance of him fully nude. “Here,” he passed a plain t-shirt to you, “I suspect you don’t have anything to wear.” After you took it, his face fell slightly. “Not that I mind you sleeping with nothing on.” 

You rolled your eyes at his teasing, for whatever reason wanting to get dressed where he couldn’t see. “Does the hotel have spare toothbrushes?” 

“Sure, in the bathroom,” he pulled back the cover of the bed and got in, clasping his hands over his stomach. “Help yourself to whatever.” 

You did, brushing your teeth, washing your face, and changing into Dutch’s t-shirt. It was clean, but it still held his underlying scent. He was in the same position when you re-entered the bedroom and lifted the covers for you to get in. “Thanks,” you said, laying down and marvelling at how soft the bed was, a yawn escaping thanks to your newfound comfort. 

Dutch reached over and flicked the switches above the side table, turning off all the lights except the lamp next to him. Then, he brushed the back of his knuckle tenderly over your temple, and it took all you had to fight an immediate descent into sleep. You took the opportunity to shuffle closer to him, and he extended his arm so you could lay on his chest while he was propped up a little against the headboard. “Get some sleep, now,” he said, his voice a quiet rumble in the low light of the room. 

As you melted into him some more, the bare skin of his chest warm and soothing, he put on his glasses from the bedside table and picked up his book. “Aren’t you sleeping?” 

“I’ll sleep better if I read a little first. Don’t mind me, though.” 

“Okay.” You pecked his lips, and once you were re-settled on his chest sleep came easier than ever. 

- 

The gentle motion of fingertips slowly grazing the middle of your back was the first sensation to greet you upon awakening, and you blinked your eyes open to the hazy filter of morning sun through the window. You were nestled comfortably into Dutch, still using his chest as a pillow and glanced up, finding the man himself in somewhat of a daydream as he looked out the window. He noticed the small movement, though, and offered you a warm smile. “Morning.” 

“Morning,” you half-yawned, stubbornly closing your eyes to nestle further into his chest. How he was more comfortable than the bed itself you weren’t sure. 

“Sleep well?” he asked. 

“Like a log. You?” 

“Just fine. You’re nice to wake up to.” He placed his palm flat on your back, holding you to him. 

“You aren’t so bad yourself. What time are you seeing John today?” 

“I think we’re going for a late breakfast; I suppose whenever he’s ready. We have a bit of time, if you want anything brought up to the room?” 

“No, no, I’m okay. Thanks though. Actually,” you shifted up onto your elbow, rubbing the sleep from your eyes and internally deciding you preferred Dutch’s hair in the morning, a little messy from the night. “I wouldn’t mind using that shower.” 

“Be my guest,” he said politely. It was nice to lay like this with him, you’d expected him to have his hands all over you as soon as you’d awoken, though perhaps he was tired. If anything, he was more reserved than usual, and you hoped he wasn’t beginning to have second thoughts. You knew better than to question him first thing in the morning and moved to a seated position before swinging your legs off the bed.  

“Appreciate it.” You picked your clothes up from their crumpled heap on the floor and carried them into the bathroom with you before having the most glorious shower you’d had in some time.  

Checking your phone once you were finished, you realised you’d been in the bathroom for a full thirty minutes. Whoops. 

“Sorry,” you said as soon as you opened the door, Dutch seated on the bed, now dressed and rolling up his sleeves. “That shower was a little too nice.” 

The smile Dutch offered you was warmer, more awake, and more like himself than he had been previously. “Good,” he offered out his hand which you promptly took and pulled you towards him to stand between his legs, and he wrapped his arms around your lower back. “I’d say you’ve earned it.” 

You chuckled easily, glad to find out nothing was wrong, and he simply hadn’t woken up yet.  

“What time are you working?” he asked, while you ran a hand through his hair and settled it on his shoulder. 

“Early afternoon. I’m off tomorrow, but I’ve got work to do – what time are you leaving?” 

“About midday. Don’t worry about it,” he placed a kiss on your sternum, “I’d prefer it if you rested instead.” 

“I’ll try,” you nodded with a snort. 

“I would like,” he stood up, holding your hands in his, “to see you more frequently, if possible.” 

“I’d like that,” you looked up at him, and the deal was sealed with a kiss. “I’m not sure exactly when, but -” 

“We’ll work something out. I have your number,” he said conspiratorially, an alluring half-smile making him even more irresistible than he already was. “But I fear Tilly will be up soon, I don’t want her catching you on the way out.” 

“Good call,” you agreed, breaking out of the embrace to pick up your bag and double-check you hadn’t forgotten anything. “Have a good weekend.” 

“We will,” he pulled you in for a kiss, one that was tender and slow and left you a little breathless once you’d parted your lips from his. “Thanks for coming to stay with me.” 

“I’ve got to do my part for the community,” you shrugged, and his face dropped into playful annoyance. 

“Oh, that’s how it is?” 

You laughed, edging towards the door though he managed to pat your ass in reprimand before you were out of reach. “I might add this to my volunteering work on my CV, come to think of it.” 

Dutch laughed heartily, pressing his tongue into his cheek and shaking his head. “You truly can be a wicked woman.” 

With a proud, final smile, you stepped forward for a kiss goodbye then opened the door, checking the coast was clear before stepping out. At the risk of Tilly hearing you, you offered Dutch a simple nod before departing, which he returned. 

It wasn’t a short walk back to your accommodation, but it wasn’t long, either. The weather was good, and you were thankful it’d been nice for Dutch and Tilly’s visit up. It wasn’t lost on you that there was a slight spring in your step, every meeting with Dutch making your heart feel that extra bit lighter, and life feel an extra bit more accommodating. After last time, you’d attributed it to the sex, to the rush and release that was a rarity in your everyday. But perhaps it was him, and while this newfound feeling was a nice one to experience, the low hum of guilt and the prospect of where this avenue of exploration would lead you left a slightly bitter taste in your mouth.  

There was a possibility that Dutch’s philosophical suggestions were imprinting on you, but you actively decided not to dwell on the many possibilities and instead focus on that, for now, you had something that made your chest grow warm and your breath seep from your lungs. Perhaps this was what you were missing, a way to dispel your worries and fears even for a short while. And perhaps, on some level, this was something you deserved. 

#dutch van der linde x reader #dutch van der linde x f!reader #dutch van der linde #dutch x reader #rdr2 fanfic #rdr2 #fanfiction #my stuff

[thewriterthatghostedyou]

Hi! Hope you're having a good day! If you have time, maybe some headcannons of Yandere Lloyd Hansen or Six/ Court Gentry for the Gray Man.

Your writing is incredible!!!

Thank you so much! That means the world to me! 🥹 Thank you for the request and I hope you like it! I picked Yandere! Six. I feel like this man isn’t written as a dark character enough, but if he snapped. I feel like he would snap completely. So-

Trigger warnings: stalking, unhealthy obsession, non con, basement wife, drugging, and kidnapping (this is a dark fic).

You blinked in shock at the tv and put down the pot of coffee you had just finishing brewing.

“And this is the horrible devastation left in the wake of the recent Prague tragedy.” The female news anchor shuffled her papers before the screen flickered to different shots of the city. Some showing a square full of bullet holes and the other showing a detailed train. “Officials say that the shootout started in this very square after a detained suspect-“

“Turn that shit off Y/n.” The cook said gruffly, with a bit of sadness in his tone. “The customers won’t want to see this.” His brow furrowed as he kept his eyes on the screen. Adam Matthews had owned the Over Easy diner for 20 years, and he now sighed as you turned the channel onto a random movie marathon.

“It’ll get better.” He said roughly. “They’ll give the people there the money they need to rebuild and they’ll be fine.” You weren’t sure if he was trying to convince you or himself of that fact. “I’mma head back to the kitchen.”

You nodded as he walked away and got back to work filling up the line of white mugs in front of you.

You had carefully filled the mugs, and started to walk them down the customers who had ordered them when the front door’s bell rang.

“I’ll be right with you!” You shouted over your shoulder as you leaned down to place the mugs in front of a cute elderly couple. “Would you like any cream or sugar with that?” You asked them in a lower tone.

“Oh no thank you dearie, my Phillip and I won’t stay awake if it has anything extra.” You huffed out a lighthearted chuckle at that. “We’ll if either of you change your mind I’ll be at the counter. ” You said, shooting them a small smile.

They gave you a quick ‘thanks’ before returning to their meal. And you finally turned towards the front door. Waiting at the counter was a tall man wearing a dark blue hoodie that covered his face.

“Welcome to Over Easy Diner, what can I get for you today?” You chirped, walking behind the counter.

“I’ll take a black coffee.” He raised his head slightly and took off his sunglasses.

You gasped as you took in the man’s familiar face.

“Court?!” You gasped excitedly as you attempted to hug the burly man over the counter. “My god what- where have you been?”

He gave you a sad smile as he chucked his glasses lightly on the counter. “Well getting sent to prison kinda causes you to lose touch with people.” He said softly.

“So it’s true? You did kill him? Your father?” You whispered softly.

He nodded slowly, looking around the diner as he spoke. “And I’ll tell you everything that’s happened since then when I can, but we need to leave. Now.”

You snorted at that. “We’ll I’m free after my shift, I get off at 5 if that-“

“No. We need to go. Now.” He hissed desperately. “Y/n I know this isn’t fair, but I’ve done some shit.” He swallowed nervously. “Bad shit that’s made me many enemies that would want to hurt someone- anyone I care about.”

“Court, we dated once 10 years ago in high school, and I thought you were still in prison just five minutes ago. We were 16, 16 year olds date people all of the time. It’s not like you kept my picture this whole time or something.” You laughed as you poured him his coffee. He stayed silent for a second.

“Y/n. I- I know what happened and I may have been prevented from seeing you until now, but I might’ve kept some tabs on you.” He shrugged and looked at the counter.

“You’ve been watching me?” You hissed loudly. “Jesus Court, what the hell!”

“Y/n you need to be quiet I swear I-“

“Alright that’s enough Ken doll. It’s time to go, listen sweetheart. You’re coming with us, either conscious or unconscious so-“ You were interrupted by a man dressed in a tight polo shirt and frat boy mustache.

“You said I had five minutes.” Court hissed at the man next to him.

“Yeah well that was before the CIA was on their way. So am I drugging her or not?” He waved a white cloth in his hand exasperatedly.

Your eyes widened when you realized that he was serious and you slowly looked towards the kitchen door.

“You wanna try it?” The man gave you a leering look. “I always did like a chase.”

“Shut up Lloyd.” Court said, throwing up the divider and walking quickly behind the counter. “We aren’t drugging you Y/n.” He looked pointedly at Lloyd at that. “But we do need to go now.”

“The fuck did you do to piss off the CIA?” You sputtered as he dragged you towards the door.

“Long story that we don’t have time for, so let's just get a move on.”

“Hey!” A booming voice shouted from behind the three of you. “You let her go or I swear to god I’ll chop your fucking hands off, you hear me?” Adam shouted, waving his meat clever as he strode over menacingly.

“Oh for fucks sake.” Lloyd sighed, before pulling out a gun and shooting him in the forehead.

You screamed at the loud sound, and the diner erupted into chaos as patrons hid under tables and screamed in fear. The elderly couple you had served earlier were under their table and the wife had her phone in her hand.

“My way it is then.” He shrugged before grabbing your face and shoving the cloth over your mouth and nose.

You smelled a strong chemical scent and clawed at his arm as he pressed it tighter against your mouth. “Your girl’s got some claws Gentry. Do me a favor and pop open the door.”

Your vision grew blurry and as you fought to not inhale the chemicals as you were dragged towards the door. Your head pounded as the familiar bell chimed again. Your lungs burned as you finally took in a deep breath and your eyes grew heavy.

“She’s- out- van.” You heard Lloyd say, his sentence being chopped up unnaturally from the drugs starting to take effect.

The last thing you saw before you blacked out was Court leaning down to brush away a stray hair. A large grin on his face.

—————-

When you opened your eyes the area around you was blurry, and your limbs seemed to weigh you down.

You let out a low grumble as you tried to move your hands, to no avail.

“It’s not a good idea for you to move around just yet baby. The drug’ll take some time to wear off.”

You let out a loud murmur as you noticed Court sitting at the end of the bed. He crawled closer before laying gently beside you. He sighed happily as he wrapped his arms around you and rubbed your arm soothingly.

“Hate that it had to come to this.” He said softly. “Would’ve preferred not to have Lloyd tag along, and pick you up myself, but the boss doesn’t trust me yet.” His brow furrowed at that.

You once again tried to move, begging your legs to kick or even twitch but they stayed put.

“That was the deal.” Court seemed far away as he talked now. “I get you, they get what I can do.”

You managed to scrunch your nose. So the drug must have started to wear off.

“Shit, forgot you didn’t know.” Court sighed. “Well, I did go to prison. It sucked, big shocker I know, but a few years in, this agent came in and offered me a job. They’d train me to be a CIA agent and I’d get out of that hole. Well not really an agent I guess.” He rambled. You vaguely remembered enjoying his rambles back in high school, but now he talked about going to prison as if it were a normal occurrence.

“I technically completed missions for them, but like I also technically…” he stopped to air quote the word technically. “…didn’t exist.” He shrugged at that. “After a while, leadership changed and the program I was in, the Sierra program, got the axe. But the new guy in charge, Carmichael, tried to kill me. You and long story short I’m still alive so he offered me a job instead. There.” He said with a satisfied smile. “All caught up.”

You let out another sluggish, unintelligible sentence as he started to fiddle with the buttons of your uniform.

“I thought about you.” He murmured softly as he undid your top button. “Everyday since I got arrested.”

You blinked as your vision began to sharpen and focus. And noticed the dull gray room surrounding you.

“I know it’s not much.” Court said, still keeping his eyes on you. He must have seen your eyes darting across the room. “But I’m sure you’ll find a way to spruce it up. Make it more homey.”

You eyes widened at that as he lifted your back off the bed to slide your dress off. His movements are easy and smooth as he lifts you effortlessly before laying you back down.

“I know, I know.” He cooed gently. “It’s a lot to take in.” He rubbed your thighs gently before cupping your heat. “I’d love to be here every minute of the day with you, but tomorrow I’ve gotta get to Budapest.” He sighed dejectedly. “I’ll be back soon though, especially since Lloyd-“ he spat his name out with a scowl. “-is in charge of watching you while I’m gone.”

You started to breathe heavier as what he said sank in. You don’t want to be left alone with that creep. You didn’t like the way he eyed you and down, similar to the way Court was looking at you now.

He slowly inched down your underwear as he continued. “But that’s tomorrow, we still have tonight.”

You felt tears rise as he slid them off quickly before straddling you and starting to undo his belt.

“I‘ll go slow.” He said breathlessly as he took at his large length. “Or I’ll try to at least.” He smirked at that before rubbing his tip at your entrance. “Gotta get you nice and wet for me baby.” He tilted his head as he focused on stimulating your clit.

You gasped as he unexpectedly shoved his fingers in and scissored them around you skillfully. You briefly wondered how many times he had done this to get this skilled, but your thoughts were cut off as you felt the pleasure start to build inside of you.

You groaned as he took out his fingers and wiped them off on his pants. “Sorry sweetheart, but the only way you’re cumming tonight is on my cock.” He shot you a sick smile as he lined himself up with you again, and then slowly pushed himself in.

You made a strangled noise as he went deeper, his eyelashes fluttering as you gripped him like a vice. “Fuck.” Court’s hand moved to grip your hips tightly and pulled you closer onto him. “Just as tight as I imagined.” He huffed out a laugh as he fully slid in.

“C-Court-“ you managed to squeak out, silently begging him to stop.

He only smiled wider as he pulled himself out. “Say it again.”

You gasped heavily as you stared at him. His hair was all messy and his pupils were dilated. “Court- please-“ you begged.

“God I love hearing you say my name.” He said softly, and paused slightly before slamming back into you.

You screamed as he started to set a rough pace, shaking the bed that you were on with his hard thrusts. “So good.”

You felt your back arch as he hit the deepest spot inside of you that made you moan loudly.

“My good girl.” He said, sweating as he pounded into you.

“Oh god you feel so good.” He gasped. You vaguely heard the sound of skin slapping and a lewd wet noise in the background, but it was drowned out by the pleasure filling you with warmth.

“You gonna cum?” He rasped out, his hips slowing slightly. “I am. And I wanna feel you milk me ok sweetheart?” He didn’t wait for an answer before rubbing your clit enough to have you let out a silent moan.

You tried to fight the feeling, but as he continued his movements, you felt your resolve break and you clenched him tightly as you came with a loud moan.

Above you, Court let out a loud moan as he felt you grip him tighter than before, and you felt another warmth rush into you as he came. “So good.” He breathed out heavily, before leaning down to kiss your forehead.

“I already have the nursery put together, you’ll be the best mother.”

#fanfic #reader insert #the gray man #sierra six x y/n #sierra six x reader #sierra six x you #sierra six #dark!court gentry x reader #court gentry x y/n #court gentry x reader #court gentry #dark fic

[cactusfunksstuff]

English Coffee.

Triggers: 18+ only!, some DA, name calling, etc.

Summary: Fionnuala has had a shit time, so when she gets screamed at by a customer it’s the last straw. She gets a job working with Greta Van Fleet on their tour as a costume design assistant. She has a rule for no relationships but what happens when she catches the eye of Josh? Will she go ahead and follow her heart, or will she refuse and lose everything she loves ?

Chapter 3

I woke up to my alarm going off, I got out of bed and started doing my normal morning routine to get myself ready. I put on my dungarees, and collected my things and went to meet Jess in the hallway.

I was the first one out here as I was early, like always.

I took a selfie in the hotel mirror and decided to post it to my story, I will also keep an eye out for if Ezra has a second account. I didn’t tag the location because if he did I didn’t want him to know where I was.

I sent a few texts to to my mum with some pictures attached of dunkin’, mcdonald’s and the hotel. I also sent her one promising to call her today when I’ve landed in Fort Worth. I texted Orla back from last night after she finally replied and she wanted screenshots so I sent them. I had another missed call from a blocked number, and sent that along too and told her I will call to discuss later.

Jess came out her room, and she smiled when she saw me. ‘You haven’t been waiting long have you?’ She asked while walking past me to the lifts, ‘No, I just came out a few minutes ago. I like to be early or I feel late.’ I said walking to catch up with her.

‘So the guys are meeting us in the lobby and then we can all hop in my car to the airport, it will get sent over after so not too long without it hopefully. We will then go to our hotel, drop our stuff etc and meet back up for lunch?’ She asked while bringing her phone out to text someone. ‘Sounds good to me! Wait, the guys were staying in this hotel the whole time?’ I asked while walking out the lift to the lobby, ‘Yep, did you not know? They were like 3 rooms down. I’m surprised you didn’t hear them coming back last night they were loud. Oh also, they want us to watch their show tonight. So after lunch we can work a bit then go straight there?’ She said, she walked us over to one of the seating areas to wait for the guys, I can already tell they are gonna be late to a lot.

The next 10 minutes went by slowly while we waited for the guys to show. At 07.10 me and Jess stood up to grab our suitcases and bags and start walking out the door, ‘Oh well, it’s their own issue now. Let’s get to the airport and grab a coffee and bagel.’ I agreed with her, we had just walked out into the blazing sun when we heard shouting behind us. ‘Jess, Flo wait up!’ I turn around to see Josh chasing after us with Sam on his heels. I laughed at the sight of them, it looked like they had rolled out of bed.

‘Well Jess we have our winners, they look a state but they’re here. Did you guys just get out of bed?’ I asked while laughing and getting into the car. ‘We got in late after the concert and we woke up late. We wanted to get the car so we don’t have to wait for an uber.’ Sam says getting the back, ‘Anyway why did you get shotgun?’ He asks as we pull off. ‘I got it because I’m Jess’ assistant and her friend.’ I said plugging my phone in and playing some music. ‘That’s right, and she wasn’t late.’ Jess says looking in the rear view mirror.

I turned round to smirk, and took in the state of the two of them. Sam was dressed in some basketball shorts and an old jumper, his hair chucked into a messy bun and he looked like he was going to nod back off any second. Josh was in some black jogging bottoms and a big black jumper, the necklaces still present round his neck and his curly mop of hair messy on his head. The slight facial hair looked good on him, he looked good. He looked up at me and smiled, I got butterflies from the sight of him.

‘How was the gig?’ I asked looking at him, he stared at me for a minute before answering. ‘It was great! The fans were amazing, they sung along to every song. Your luck helped us I believe.’ I smiled and turned around. Do not get involved Flo!

‘Glad to hear it!’ I said and skipped a couple of songs before one I like came on. ‘You have a wide variety of music, love.’ Josh said from behind me, my heart skipped a beat at the nickname and I could feel my face heating up. Jess peeked over at me and smirked, I quickly shot her a look.

‘Yeah I like a few different varieties, depends on my mood.’ I said as I looked forward. ‘I like it.’ Josh said, he had leaned forward in the seat and I could feel his breath on my neck. Goosebumps arrived on my skin and I shivered. What is going on? I can’t be developing a crush on this guy! He’s a fucking rockstar, and I’m just some girl from England. It would never work.

We arrived at the airport and we unloaded our suitcases before walking into the terminal. Josh stayed close to me through customs and security, I kept glancing over at him and try to look away before he caught my gaze. We got into the duty free and I told the guys I was going to go look in a few shops and I will see them at the gate. They nodded and I went off into a bookshop, to see if they had any Stephen King I like that I could take for the journey. I picked up a couple before putting them down, ‘What you got there?’ I heard Josh say from behind me, shit.

‘Just looking at some Stephen King.’ I said while walking further up the rack. ‘Didn’t take you for a horror fan?’ Josh said leaning up against the books beside me. I glanced over and he was smiling slightly, I could smell the cologne coming off him. ‘No? I thought I did. Well anyway, I love Stephen King. He’s an amazing writer.’ I picked up a copy of Misery, it was a cover I didn’t have. ‘I’ve never given him a try, not sure if I like horror.’ Josh said, picking up one to have a skim through. ‘Maybe you should borrow my copy of Pet Sematary, see if you like it before committing to buying.’ I offered, he looked at me and smiled more. ‘I’d love that!’ I handed him the copy from my carry on.

I stared walking to the till, and he quickly followed. I glanced over my shoulder at him, ‘Can I help you Joshua?’ I said handing the lady cash before walking out, thanking her. ‘Are you coming to the show tonight?’ He asked, we were strolling past shops slowly making our way for the gate. ‘I believe so, Jess mentioned us going after working.’

‘Good, me and the guys are going out after for a few drinks, I would love for you to come.’ He said, looking over at me. ‘Oh, you would love me to come would you?’ I teased, I saw a little coffee stand and walked up. ‘Yeah, it would be good for us all to get away from work.’ Josh said, ‘I liked the picture you posted this morning, darling.’ I blushed and thanked him. I asked him if he would like anything and he asked for a flat white. I got a latte and we paid. Looking over at him while we walked I took in his appearance some more.

He had gorgeous green eyes, and a couple of piercings in his ear. His hair was a mop on his head, but the shaved sides gave him a more edgy appearance. He really was gorgeous. I hated that I found him gorgeous.

‘Or is it so you can get me drunk and force my middle name out of me?’ I sat down as I said this, Jess and Sam opposite discussing her designs for an upcoming show. I took a sip of my coffee and sighed, ‘See this coffee is better.’ Sam chuckled and continued talking to Jess. ‘Could be that, or I could just want to spend some time outside of work with you.’ Josh said from beside me, I quickly smiled and looked at him. ‘I’d love to Joshua.’ He rolled his eyes at my nickname and smiled.

We boarded the plane and I got sat next to Jess and some stranger. I looked over at her from the middle seat, ‘I’ve had a couple of blocked numbers call me.’ I said. ‘What? Do you think it’s him?’ She asked turning to look at me, ‘I’m not sure. It’s been a few times now so I think so. Do I answer if it calls again?’ She shook her head, ‘Absolutely not. Just leave it to ring out.’ I nodded, ‘I’m not a very good flyer just to let you know, so I will probably just stick my airpods in and done out if that’s okay.’ She nodded and patted my shoulder, ‘It’s only connecting so it’s not a very long flight anyway.’

I stuck some Green Lung on and tried to keep myself calm while we took the flight.

Images of Josh filled my mind, then I thought about Ezra. I know I am staring to develop a crush on Josh, and I need to stop it. It’s never going to work, we would just end breaking up. I have to go back to England, long distance wouldn’t work. But the way he looks at me, the way he smiles. His laugh. It’s all pulling me in too much.

After we landed and had to stand behind about 50 people who didn’t understand how to walk off a plane, we quickly got into a uber. I again got stuck in the middle with Josh and Sam either side of me. ‘So Flo, you coming out for some drinks with us later?’ Sam said while chucking his arm round me. I patted his hand and nodded, ‘Sure am Sammy. If that’s alright with you guys. Josh invited me.’ I said looking over at him, he smiled. ‘She said she will Sam!’ ‘I can’t wait! Let’s get this Brit on an American night out.’ I laughed and stuck my arm round his neck.

After we got to the hotel and checked in, me and Jess went to grab some food and headed to the venue to start sending our designs off to the tailor who will make them.

‘So we just need to grab some last minute measurements from the guys and then we can send the designs off. Do you mind doing that while I start to scan the designs ?’ I nodded and started eating my sandwich. ‘Yeah I’ll text them to come over.’

Greta

Flo: I need you guys for some measurements please 🤷🏻‍♀️

Jake: Be there in 15

Danny: Coming now

Josh: I’ll be there love

Sammy: Walking in now

I got set up with the tape measure and stand and sat on the sofa, I knew they would be late so I had time to kill.

Orla: Ring me ! Miss you 💘

I facetimed Orla and set her up on the dressing table.

‘Hiya! How is my flat?’ I said while sitting down.

‘It’s fine you worry too much! How work?’ She was sitting in the lounge and had set her phone on the coffee table. ‘Good, just waiting for the guys to do some last minute measurements before we send the designs off to be made.’ I said eating some crisps. ‘So, Josh yeah?’ She said smirking. ‘No, it’s not like that remember. I am not getting involved. I’m here to work. But he did say he liked my music taste, that he wants to see me out of work and he liked the picture I posted.’ I laughed. ‘Come on! This is a once in a lifetime experience ! There is no harm in exploring.’ She got up and took me with her. ‘Yes, there is. Remember ?’ I was still leaning on the chair. ‘Josh isn’t him Flo. You know that.’ She was in the kitchen now, making some coffee. ‘I know, but some part of me still worries.’ We chatted some more about how shit the coffee is here before Sam suddenly burst into the room.

‘I have arrived !’ He said, I jumped and screamed. ‘Sammy, warning next time!’ Orla was just staring at him in shock, ‘Oh Sam! This is Orla. She is my best friend she’s watching my flat while in away.’ I introduced them and Sam waved. ‘Hiya! I’m Sam. Flo is doing an amazing job with us!’ Orla seemed to come out of her trance, ‘Yeah, yeah I bet she is. She’s amazing. Sorry, it’s so good to meet you! I love your band.’ She says quickly, she goes bright red in the face and seems to want to shrink further away. ‘Thank you! Means a lot, actually we never asked you. Flo, have you heard of us?’ I looked over at Sam, still laughing slightly at the state of Orla. ‘Yeah, I have. I only knew a few songs but I loved your guys sound and look. I didn’t know who you were when I applied for the job tho.’ I said standing and staring to get things ready to measure him.

‘Orla, sorry babe I have to go. I’ll call you tomorrow?’ I say, while walking back to the phone. ‘Yes please! Love you have fun. So good to meet you Sam, I’m coming to some shows in Europe soon! See you there’ She says while waving. ‘Bye Orla!’ Sam nearly shouts while waving back. My phone beeps that’s the call has ended, and I walk over to collect it.

‘Right, ready?’ I say while holding Sam’s hand to walk him over to the podium. ‘Yes sir!’ He announces, I get all his measurements, with minimal interruptions from him and send him on his way. ‘Please collect anyone else on your way! We need this doing today.’ I say while texting my mum back about how work is going. ‘Looks like someone is already here waiting for you.’ He says smirking and walking down the hall.

‘Hello love! Told you I wouldn’t be long.’ Josh walks in smiling, I smile back, the nickname making my heart skip. I showed him to the podium. ‘I’m surprised, I heard from Jess that you are notoriously late.’ I say while measuring his leg length. ‘Oh I can be, that is if I don’t have a pretty lady waiting for me.’ He says, I look up at him and he looks like he has gone all shy. He was smiling but had also gone bright red. ‘Oh, really? That’s highly inappropriate Mr. Kiszka.’ I said while trying to his my smile as I stood up to measure his arms. ‘Sorry! I didn’t want to make it awkward. I’ll stop.’ He says quickly. I laughed and glanced up at him from the tape measure, he looked incredibly awkward and I immediately felt bad.

‘No Josh! I’m kidding, I don’t mind.’ I said patting his shoulder. He seemed to calm down, but I could still see the slight blush on his cheek. I tried to change the subject to take the heat off him, ‘So where are we going for drinks later?’ I asked, looking up at him slightly while pulling the tape measure round his waist. I felt him tense up, my heart jumped and I took a deep breath to calm myself.

‘I believe a little bar that Sam knows.’ He said not looking at me, ‘Of course it’s somewhere Sam knows. The man is basically an alcoholic.’ Josh giggled at my comment. ‘What time are we meeting? Or are we just going after the concert?’ I asked while stepping away and walking over to make notes of his sizes. I heard him shuffling around the room while I wrote. ‘I believe after the concert, we are going to shower and change then we will get going.’ He said coming to lean against the table next to me. He stared down at me, I looked up at him and smiled a bit. ‘Sounds good to me.’ I said.

He continued to look at me, something swimming about his eyes. I looked away first, I need to stop this while we are here, I will just end up hurt. ‘Um, do you mind grabbing Danny or Jake for me please?’ I asked looking down at my notes. ‘Oh, yeah sure.’ Josh said, his mood seemed to dampen. He walked out after that, I couldn’t stop thinking if I did that. Did I upset him? Surely he knows this wouldn’t work, we have just met. He couldn’t have got feelings that quick.

I finished up with Jake and Danny, both of them chatting about how excited they are for the show. I promised I would be there and cheering them on.

A few hours later, after meeting Jess and sending off the final designs and measurements to the tailor. Me and Jess were standing by the side of the stage waiting for the boys to go on.

‘Any more phone calls?’ Jess asks quietly, not letting the other staff hear. ‘Nothing yet.’ I said looking around. I hadn’t actually met any of the other staff yet, I might have to introduce myself soon. ‘Maybe it was nothing. Just some scam.’ I looked over at her, she nodded sipping her drink. ‘I hope so. You don’t need that weighing on you while we are here.’ She said, sitting down on a chair behind her. ‘So.’ She says smirking at me. ‘What?’ I asked staring at her, she stared at me like she knew something. ‘Josh?’ She asked, wiggling her eyebrows. I huffed and chucked my hands up. ‘Orla and now you. There is nothing going on! We have just met and are friends. It would never work anyway. Our lives are so different.’ I said, sitting on the chair next to her watching the staff run around making final adjustments.

The crowd was amazing here, all these people here to see them. I couldn’t imagine the feeling, the adrenaline that would course your veins as hundreds of people sung your on words back at you.

‘I don’t know, I think there is something there. I’m not going to tell you to not go for it, I think you should. See what happens, it couldn’t hurt.’ Jess said sipping her drink. At that moment, the guys came running round the corner all shouting and jumping. ‘Ready pretty ladies?’ Sam asked. Me and Jess laughed and nodded, ‘Hope you love the show !’ Jake said smiling, holding his guitar. Danny smiled and cheered, I smiled back. ‘Good luck!’ I shouted holding Jess’ hand up.

They all ran on, fans screaming when they saw them. Josh was waiting back, ‘What are you doing? You have got to be on stage.’ I said, pointing after his brothers. ‘I wanted to make sure you will stay for the whole thing.’ He said staring at me. I took in his outfit, a beautiful celestial style cape hung behind him with a white jumpsuit covered in silver beads and trimming. His hair was curled on top of his head, and he had silver eyeshadow pulled from his lids to his eyes and rhinestones decorating his under eye. He looked heavenly.

I felt my mouth go dry looking at him, ‘Yeah, me and Jess are gonna stay.’ I said quietly, losing my voice at the sight of him. ‘Good, see you soon darling.’ He smirked running on stage waving a tambourine about while the other guys played the intro to a song.

‘Just friends, yeah?’ Jess said smirking from her chair.

#greta van fic #greta van fleet fanfiction #josh kiszka angst #josh kiszka fanfiction #josh kiszka fluff #jake kiszka fanfiction #josh kiszka smut #greta van smut #greta van fleet #josh kiszka #josh x reader

[asmutwriter]

Just A Woman (Part 1 Section 3)

DESCRIPTION: After your weekend with the Bridgerton family you go back to your usual living. Bumping into a familiar face whilst at work

A/N - I have condensed partr 1 (which you can find here) into 4 smaller chunks so that you can have a better reader experience

Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 | Part 4

WORD COUNT: 2819

From beginning / Previous / Next / Master List

WARNINGS: swearing, mentions of prostitution, time period sexism, mentions of sex work

DISCLAIMERS

- I wrote this in my knowledge of sex workers and I am truly sorry if I got it wrong and/or is offensive, that is not what I wanted to do and I’m sorry if that is the case

-  This is fiction. Please always talk to your partner before doing anything and make sure they are ok with what you are doing beforehand

The next morning you awaken late again. You get dressed and go downstairs. After you have had breakfast you go to find Violet. You bow to her slightly as you see her “Lady Bridgerton. I’m sorry to bother you but I was wondering if I could have your help. I’m not fully acquainted with balls and I am unsure of which dress to wear” she smiles and looks at you

“My dear, I’d be happy to help you” you both go to your room, showing her your dresses she picks out the prettiest one for you. Holding it up against your body “Yes this one. The colour will suit you just fine” she smiles and lies it on the bed “get dressed about 10 minutes before it starts. It will ensure your dress stays as nice as it can be for when the guests arrive” you nod and smile at her, bowing as she leaves the room. You go over and gently trace the fabric of the dress.

The day seems to take longer than normal as you pace around the house. Anxious about tonight. You get dressed into the gown, one of the maids helping you do up your corset and put the dress on. You walk out to see all the Bridgerton’s and John waiting for you. You smile and go over to John. You see him put a finger up “I have something I want you to wear tonight. A gift from me to you” he turns and takes out a box. Opening it he reveals a beautiful necklace. The colours matching perfectly to your dress.

“Holy shit!” you cover your mouth. He tries hard not to laugh as do some of the Bridgerton siblings. He picks it up from the velvet box, 

“May I?” you nod as he places the piece around your neck. You lightly trace the jewellery. He smiles as he watches your face beam with joy as you hug him. Pulling away and straightening your dress again

“How do I look?” you twirl

“Beautiful” he takes your hand and kisses it

“Good. That was the correct answer” he laughs as he excuses himself momentarily. You see him go over to the older Bridgerton boys but you are too busy talking to Daphne to take into account what he says. That’s when the first guests start to arrive. You hide in the corner of the room, watching as the men and woman dance away. All beautifully choreographed. You have found yourself at a buffet table, indulging in the grapes there. Colin walks over to you

“Are you not going to dance?” you shake your head

“If I dance I fear I may fall over and make a complete fall of myself” he nods as you hear his name being called. You turn to see a young ginger haired girl approach you. You smile at her and bow slightly.

“Colin have you seen your sister? I’ve been trying to find her but I haven’t had such luck”

“No I haven’t Pen. I saw her earlier but not recently” she nods as she looks at you and smiles

“I don’t think I’ve had the pleasure. I’m Penelope”

“I’m Isabella” she bows her head slightly to you as she looks at Colin. You see complete admiration in her eyes as she looks at him. You see a similar look when he meets her gaze. 

“I believe the next dance is starting” you say “It’d be a shame for you to not show off such a beautiful dress miss” you smile at the young girl. Nudging Colin “I would take her to the dance floor but it is not proper. Would you do me the honour of taking this beautiful girl for a dance?” he chuckles and offers his hand, you smile as she takes it and they head off. A few moments later you are met with Benedict. You look at him and offer him a grape to which he turns down. You pop it into your mouth as you watch the couples twirling and dancing. “What did John say to you earlier?”

“What do you mean?”

“He said something to you and your brothers earlier this evening. And I haven’t seen him tonight so I wondered what he asked you” you can see him about to go and change the subject but you interrupt him beforehand “if you don’t answer me I will ask your brothers. If they don’t answer me I’ll ask every single person at this party until I find out where he is” you smile at him innocently

“He said that he has an urgent meeting with someone so he will attend when he is free. He asked me and my brothers to keep you company and make sure you feel welcomed here” you nod and eat another grape

“Are you not going to dance?” he shakes his head “Why not?”

“No one here I’d like to dance with” you nod and look around “do you not want to dance?”

“I would but don’t you have to wait for someone to ask you?” you look at him as he nods. He puts his hand out for you to take

“Will you do me the honour?” you smile and take his hand. Letting him take you to the dance floor as he smiles at you, telling you the basic steps as he takes the lead. After the dance you bow to each other and go back to where you were standing. An older woman comes over to you and smiles

“Hello my dear. That dress and necklace is amazing”

“Thank you ma’am” you nod slightly at her in appreciation. She smiles

“Your dancing is amazing as well. It looked like you were having lots of fun” you nod and smile

“Oh it was great. I did nearly piss myself from excitement though” she looks shocked at your words but then laughs slightly. You look at Benedict who is also trying not to laugh at your words. “Where do I get a drink?”

“I’ll go get you a lemonade” you nod and smile as he walks away, leaving you with the woman. John’s mother walks over to you

“My dear. Why don’t you show Lady Danbury here your singing skills?”

“Oh no I couldn’t possibly-”

“I insist. It is my son’s ball so he will be happy for you to show your skills” Benedict walks over and gives you your drink. You take it 

“Thank you” you smile but lean closer “save me”

“Come on my dear” she goes over and calls out “everyone. My lovely friend Isabella will be singing a song for you all” she looks at you. You tighten your grip on your drink

“Fuck it” you murmur and take your drink as a shot. You walk over to one of the instruments the band is playing “May I?” he nods and allows you on it. You start to play a few notes, thinking of words to sing. You start to sing, your voice filling the now quiet hall. Afterwards they clap for you

“How would people like another song?” you shake your head

“Oh no I-”

“Go on, sing for us some more” Johns mother says. You catch eyes with Benedict who mouths ‘go on’ at you. You glare at him before nodding slightly and playing the instrument again you start to sing words. Everyone claps again and you bow slightly. Going back over to Benedict

“Amazing performance there” you playfully hit his arm

“Hush. How much longer before I can take this dress off and wear something less damaging to my organs” he laughs slightly “I’m serious. I think my torsos gone numb. Plus I’m overheating. I feel a little like a lobster in a pot” he laughs again, making you glare at him but smile.

“I think it’s about an hour or so longer to go”

“Fucks sake” you say just as Lady Danbury walks over to you again, raising her eyebrow at your as she overhears your swear. You smile at her and bow slightly “m’lady. Pleasure to see you again”

“You have quite the excellent singing voice. Where do you hear the songs you sing?”

“Oh I make them up as I go. My friend always told me I have a good ear for musical notes”

“Yes. The words though my dear. They really speak to the soul do they not?” you nod and smile at her

“I have to admit, my other friend reads romantic novels constantly and I always mock her for it. Tending to make up soppy words on the spot to make her embarrassed” she laughs at your words

“Makes sense my dear. She is lucky to have a friend like you” she smiles as she leaves. You look at the Bridgerton brother

“Was I ok?” he nods

“You were great” he takes a sip of his drink “I think she may be quite fond of you” that is when Eloise and Penelope walk over to you. Penelope watching Colin fondly from the other side of the room. Eloise looks at you 

“Danced with any men yet?”

“Only your brother. No one else has asked me to dance” she nods “have you two been in a dance yet?” they shake their heads. You look around, seeing if you can find a young man to dance with any of you. You make eye contact with someone who looks at you intensely. You break eye contact but before long he walks over to you four. 

“Don’t I know you from somewhere?” he looks you up and down

“I think you have me mistaken for someone else” you smile at him. He looks at your eyes and grins

“No I know you. You work in that little place down the road. What’s it called? You know. The place with the who-”

“Yes Mr Bridgerton I would love to have another dance” you say as you take his hand and go to the dance floor. You see the two younger girls try to ask the gentlemen questions but he dismisses them both and walks away.

“Where do you work?” you shake your head at the question.

“That is not relevant. And now is not the time or place to ask me” you smile at him slightly, meeting your eyes. 

The rest of the night goes slowly. But the following day goes by quickly when it is soon the evening and you must go. You are surprisingly sad to say goodbye to all the Bridgerton’s and John. But you make your leave, them driving a carriage back to your place of work. John allowed you to keep some of the dresses he leant you, noting he left you the money in one of the gowns. You get out of the carriage, walking home from the brothel. You open the door to your small and quiet house. 6 young girls running and hugging you. “We’ve missed you so much” they all start telling you about their days. You nodding and smiling at them all, knowing you must retire to bed soon as you are tired. The eldest notices

“I’ll put them to bed. Go and have a bath and go to sleep” you nod and do what she says. Falling asleep, memories of the past few days filling your dreams. The next morning you are awoken to find all the younger children crawled into your bed. You hug them all before leaving and getting dressed, going about your morning duties before they wake up. Once they have all awoken you all have lunch together and they go and play in the garden apart from Daisy who is sitting down reading a book. 

“Not more romances I hope”

“This ones more a psychological book”

“Does the girl and the guy end up married at the end?” she nods “Then it’s a romance” she rolls her eyes at you as she places the book down on the table.

“Tell me about the ball. Was it as good as we always thought it’d be?”

“Honestly, it was better. I felt like a queen the whole evening”

“What was the food like?”

“Delicious. I managed to swipe a box of chocolates from them” you go over to your still unpacked bags and grab out a tray of unopened chocolates, showing it to her before putting it in a high shelf so the younger ones couldn’t reach it. You pull out one of the dresses and show her “I was allowed to keep 3 dresses as well. I picked the 3 prettiest ones” she goes over and touches the fabric. Letting her look at it you look at the clock. “I need to go to work. I won’t be long. I need to let them know I’m ok and home safely” she nods as she admires the other 2 dresses. You hug her before leaving. 

Getting to your work place and entering it was a weird experience. You were so used to seeing people being prim and proper that it now seemed shocking to you for people to be grinding against each other half naked. You go and meet your friend who hugs you, cigarette in her hand “Isa! You’re back! You weren’t murdered” you shake your head as you get dressed into your working clothes. Some high stockings, a short skirt and a low cut corset. 

“Honestly I’m glad to be back”

“Oh was no one hot enough for you to get your freak on?”

“Not that. More they were all too pristine so they wouldn’t dare even look at you in the eyes incise it caused pregnancy” you laugh as you bid her farewell and go out into the crowd of people. You go over and sit at the bar, ordering yourself a drink. A few minutes pass and you feel someone sit next to you. You take a sip of your drink before turning. “Hey ther-” you see Benedict sitting next to you, ordering a drink before he turns to you. A slight shocked expression. You look away “I’m sorry I must go” he takes your hand quickly

“Isabella?”

“I’m sorry you must have me confused for someone else” you continue to look at the ground. He tilts your head up slightly by your chin. Meeting your eyes with his

“Why are you in a brothel?”

“I could ask you the same thing”

“I think mine is a more obvious reason”

“And mine isn’t?” you motion at your clothes as he looks at your body. You see him shift slightly in his seat before looking at you again

“Why are you working in a brothel?” he whispers. You look around, grabbing his hand and taking him to a private room and shutting the door

“I told you I worked. You seem surprised”

“I am surprised”

“Why? Is a girl not allowed to make money of her own? Is she not allowed to express her sexuality like how men do?”

“You are. I’m just surprised to see someone who seemed so shy to even look at a man working in a place where her job is to have sex with them” you turn red at his words. “How long have you worked here?”

“About 3 years” you look away from him as he nods and sits on the bed. “So John...?”

“He payed me. But don’t tell him I told you. Shit. Why are you here?”

“Although John is going back tomorrow and his mother is also leaving today they said that we could stay in their house for a week. Have a family week away”

“So you’re here because?”

“Because it is difficult to find a woman out here, if you must know” you chuckle slightly 

“You’re right. I can go get you one of our lovely ladies if you’d like?”

“I umm, I’d quite like to just stay in here and talk to you. If you’d be ok with that?” you nod slightly and go and sit next to him on the bed.

“I can’t be long here. I promised my friend I’d be back home soon. I said I’m only coming here so that they know I’m ok” he nods and looks at you

“Why don’t we go back now?”

“What?”

“I want to chat. You want to go home. I might as well come with you, right?”

“I’m flattered but I don’t know if my house is up to your kind of requirement” he shrugs and stands up, holding his hands out to you

“I don’t care. I want to see where you live” you nod and let him help you up. You excuse yourself and quickly get dressed into your normal clothes and then join him again. You both walk about a mile to your house. Once there you look at him, trying to judge his expression on his face as he sees your small house.

Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 | Part 4

#benedict brigderton #benedict bridgerton smut #smut #benedict x reader #benedict bridgerton x reader #benedict bridgerton x reader smut #angst #fluff #benedict bridgerton angst #benedict bridgerton fluff #bridgerton angst #bridgerton smut #bridgerton fluff #benedict smut #benedict fluff #benedict angst

[apartmentstead]

Homemade Beef-Jerky

Good morning my little pierogis

This is my favorite home-made jerky recipe

Use as much or as little beef as you want to make - I personally bought a beef brisket that was on sale for about $40 that yielded roughly 10 pounds of jerky.

Now - I am not perfect. My very first batch I made a couple mistakes, and I’ve made this recipe before. I should have trimmed more of the fat off, and I should have sliced it thinner.

Don’t get me wrong, I still ate the fuck out of them, but I just couldn’t preserve them or hang onto it longer term. Learned my lesson though 😊 keep in mind even people with experience can get it wrong too.

Recipe

1 cup of soy sauce

2 tablespoons minced ginger

2 garlic cloves

Salt - hella (I measure with love)

Juice from half a lime

Cracked black pepper - measure with love (1 tbsp is fine)

1 pound of sliced brisket

So here’s the beauty of beef jerky; It’s completely customizable. You can add things into your marinade, take them out, change the amounts, the world is your oyster.

After you trim down your preferred slice of meat (I’ve found that tougher cuts like brisket or chuck do well as jerky because they’re full of collagen and keep their shape well), pop it back into the freezer for about 30 minutes or so. The reason for this is that when you’re slicing it, you’ll be able to achieve a thinner more consistent cut because it will be on the solid side - something I forgot to do when I made this first batch. Oops.

Hang onto those fat trimmings by the way, mamas gonna show you all how to make some lovely tallow with that

You’ll put your sliced beef into a bag or bowl (ziploc or otherwise, as long as it’s water tight) and add your misc. seasonings (see above). Leave the salt out - the soy sauce has got that taken care of initially. Leave that to marinade for at-least 2 hours. Personally, I leave it over night so the acidity of the lime/soy sauce and the saltiness in the soy sauce can break down some of that elasticity that tougher cuts of meat generally have. Like I said though - the worlds your oyster. Yolo.

Once the meat is done marinading go ahead and pull it out, and dry any excess marinade off the slices of beef using a towel or wipe.

Once the beef slices are dry, sprinkle salt on either side of the slice. This isn’t necessarily required, but I’ve found it pulls more of the water/moisture out and can speed up the dehydrating process.

If you’re using a dehydrator go ahead and set your racks up, try to space them out as much as you can do ample air flow can circulate - if you’re using an oven, preferably you should have a rack sitting on a sheet pan so drippings if any can flow away from the meat.

As is with any meat product, it needs to be cooked to an adequate internal temperature to kill any bacteria or disease. You’ll want to start with your oven or dehydrator set to 165 degrees. Once the meat has reached 165° Fahrenheit, promptly turn the oven/dehydrator down to 140°.

After the heat has been turned out now you get to wait, and suffer while you smell delicious food you can’t eat yet. Sorry. The drying time can take anywhere from 8-12 hours, depending on the meats thickness, oven/dehydrator type, etc. honestly you’ll have to play it by ear a bit. Once it’s done though, you can keep it on your shelf for up to 3 months with silica packets or something similar to keep out moisture in an airtight container. I personally put it in jars and pressure cook them to sterilize and seal the jars, but that’s another convo for a different day.

If you keep it in the fridge - 1 to 2 weeks

If you keep it in your pantry - maybe 1 week

Freezing - 3 months + however long the storage method after thawing is.

Keep in mind it’s still meat - she can go bad

Happy hunting, and remember to do a sniff test if you forget it for awhile lol.

#beef jerky #homestead #homesteadtips #homesteading #healthy food #food preservation #food prep #doomsday preppers #farmers #farming #cooking #cooking tips #brisket #recipe

[tvtalk247]

SPOILERS - The Flash Series Finale Thoughts

- The actor that plays Eddie looks lame AF as the villain. It’s not working for me.

- They should’ve used the writers from Superman and Lois to write these fight scenes because no. I swear they didn’t even try to make it look interesting. They all defeated the other big bads within 2 minutes. Although, we were forced to watch them fight them before for a whole season. Lol but somehow they all are powerful on their own without Barry now.

- I’m only 16 minutes in so I’m sure something about to change.

- Oh look, another superhero show acting like killing or letting a bad guy die is the worst thing in the world. They will want the superhero to sacrifice their family and friends and countless innocent bystanders just so they can look to be the better person.

- Eddie smashed the gem. So that’s over quickly too. Still half the episode left. So for, this is one lame ass series finale.

- oh they are explaining why Thawne didn’t kill Chuck when he clearly should’ve died. He randomly got powers too now 🙄

- This story they gave Caitlin’s DID is ridiculous too. I’m just going to ignore tbh.

- Oh now she’s back. 🙄 she should’ve been here all season instead of this stupid storyline. That tumblr page that said the actress basically bribed the writers to get more screen time…. I wouldn’t even be surprised if true. Because this storyline is bonkers. It’s like they took every note and idea she might’ve had and made it happen.

- 10 points for playing old school Mary J Blige in one scene though.

- Not Joe making Nora’s birth party about him and Cecile. That’s like the biggest no no. Don’t propose at someone else’s party without asking first. Truly just don’t. Lol

- lol so are we going to pretend like it didn’t end horrible seasons ago when random people got new powers? Oh ok. Good idea, Barry 🙄🙄

- I know I’ve barely like this last season but I was really hoping this series finale would’ve made me a little sad that it was ending. Just be a decent send off. Like Supergirl. I hated the last 2 season but that series finale was perfect. I’m not getting that from The Flash.

- keep these writers away from the rest of my shows 🫢🫢😂😂🥴🥴

#the flash spoilers #cw the flash #the flash

[infinitepunlist]

I never thought that I was going to make it to 30 years old. And to suddenly find myself less than 10 minutes away…I realize that it’s because I thought I was going to stop existing around 23. And every birthday after that I’ve had no plan, I’ve been weird about it and kind of chucked it off to the side because it never felt real to me. I have changed so much, and yet this thought keeps persisting, dragging, holding me back from moving forward with my life. I didn’t think I was supposed to make it to 30. But I’m here now. I’ve avoided my family’s questions of what I’m doing, I started and tore down plans with my friends to celebrate it, I’m working on my birthday for the umpteenth year in a row. I will gladly go and take time off to celebrate someone else, but for myself I try to do nothing and then feel bad about it later. Feel guilty about how I’m treating myself. It this cycle is going to end. Im breaking it right now. I had a number. I thought I was going to end at 23. Well I’m far past that, so fuck that way of thinking and every curse and chain it’s held on me every year since. Im turning 30 in less than 5 minutes. I made it here. I DESERVE to be here. Im going to be here for a good long while too. Time to figure out what to do and enjoy my life in a new way. Im 30 now. It’s good to be here.

#birthday #me

[prettybillycore]

tag 10 people you want to get to know better!

(I’m so sorry if I tag you and You’ve already done this, not on purpose I swear!)

tagged by: @whoringrove 💗

relationship status: taken by @rubybinxx in a polycule (aka we are polyamorous!)

favorite color: blue or green

song stuck in your head: currently “Be Gay, Do Drugs, Hail Satan” by Super Cassette. It came up in my recommended and my brain went 👁👁

time: 2:51 am

dream trip: I really want to go to California again. I have been once before and it felt like the home I was supposed to have. I also wanna go there so I can finally hug my bestie @dontbelasagnax. I’m not good at traveling though so it would have to be a road or train trip. I can’t really fly at this point in my life 💀 the one other place I really want to see is the palace of versailles in france

last book you read: Margret and the Mystery of the Missing Body by Megan Milks. I actually just gave a talk on this book for my MFA program. It is deeply painful yet weird as all hell. Highly recommend if you like fantasy and are in the mental place to hear about mental health issues from the perspectives of fictional characters

last book you enjoyed reading: I feel like I need to break out of the “books I read bc school” category but basically all the reading I do at this point is reading for school. During my undergraduate studies, I read “Homie” by Danez Smith. I think about it almost everyday. It is an incredible poetry collection about race, gender, sexuality, family, and overarching queer experiences. A must read in my opinion.

last book you hated reading: also for school (who’s surprised). It was “dreams of being” by Michael J Seidlinger. I got the chance to meet the author and he was fantastic! His book was just wayyyy out of what I normally read and didn’t keep my attention.

favorite thing to cook/bake: top of the stove cookies!!!

favorite craft you like to do in your free time: genuinely crafting sims is so fun to me I do it a lot. I also like to write and paint.

my most niche dislike: based on peoples reactions when I’ve said this in the past, I’m going to take this as my most niche dislike— I hate Metatron the most out of every supernatural villain. I would rather sell my soul to both Crowley and Lucifer (and have to watch them fight it out) than be in a room alone with Metatron unsupervised for 5 minutes. I would feel more safe with Chuck in a room. I fucking hate this angels guts and I could write a full length academic paper on why.

opinion on the circus: clowns and such are alright but the way circus animals are treated sits so wrong with me

do you have a sense of direction: absolutely I do not. Ask literally anyone I’ve ever driven. I can’t find my way anywhere without help 🥲

Tagging:

@dontbelasagnax @rubybinxx @bilqis-of-sheba @ratboydefenselawyer @biillyhargroves @billyhargroveficrec @billys-bitchh @eddiethehero85 @harringrovepeach @sunsetpixels

#billy hargrove #strangers things #supernatural #steve harrington #dean winchester #spence reid #harringrove #harringrove x reader #someone love me #nice to meet ya #i love yall #about me #this is so cute oml #books and reading

[sp00kysk3lly]

The start of my new life! I’m changing my last name, the reasoning? That’s a long story, but I’m happy to tell everyone. I have nothing to actually hide, because for once I am not in the wrong. (Story below).

My parents separated when I was 15/16. At first it was ok, I dealt with it. I think if I was a lot younger than I was, it might have messed me up even more than I am now.

But I digress. At first everything was good. I saw my dad on weekends, he paid child support as he was suppose to.

It started getting pathetic when my dad met someone new. My mum didn’t care, it was his life. They weren’t together (even though he did cheat throughout their relationship). His girlfriend had the issue.

She would hate him coming to pick me up. So instead of being picked up outside the house, my dad told me to go wait at the bus stop near the house???

His girlfriend was jealous of my mum, my mum is much better looking but whatever wasn’t my business.

Before this girlfriend was in the scene, we were all actually getting on great. We were even planning on going to see London New Years Eve fireworks together. That’s how it was before she got involved.

But all of a sudden that changed. She had an issue of my dad being near my mum, thinking they were going to get back together or something. I have no idea.

Whether my dad told her that my mum was “making advances” which yeah ok sure she was.

Anyway, he started being a dick to me, when I was about 16.5. I was getting badly bullied at college at this time (I’ve been bullied all my life, so nothing new), the first time I noticed a shift in our relationship was when I had self-harmed. In the car to the hospital to get stitches (doctors request) he called me a “stupid idiot”, which you don’t call your depressed child when they’ve just seriously hurt themselves.

That was the first problem. The next is where I cut off all connection with him.

I dropped out of college, due to the bullying getting worse. I had a chair chucked at my head, luckily I moved out of the way.

I didn’t tell my dad that I dropped out because he kept threatening my mum with the child support money. Which legally he couldn’t stop until I was 18 and I was out of school. I was only 16.5 at this point.

He found out by ringing my college. Which he shouldn’t have got any information as he was not my emergency contact, my mum was. So the college are in trouble in this part too.

But he found out and he sent me a message on Facebook. Calling me names and even going as far as telling me to starve because his little pittance of money was now going. He knew that we used that for food shopping. He told his child to starve. Before this he even liked my statuses where I said I was hungry because we couldn’t afford food.

That is what happened and why he is no longer in my life. I’ve wanted to change my name for years, but I guess I was hoping he would apologise.

Since him leaving, he purposely watches me when he sees me. Once after my fall in 2019, I sat outside Costa coffee while my mum went and got me stuff to take home like drinks and food.

He purposely sat in his stupid taxi (he’s a taxi driver, perfect job for the fat fuck!) he didn’t get out to speak to me even though I was on my own, my mum had gone and was gone for at least 10 minutes. Even though I was in my 20s so my mum wouldn’t even care if I spoke to him, it’s my choice. He didn’t bother. And as soon as I got up to left, he started his taxi and left??? Like what the actual fuck? Creepy.

He purposely got my brother to mention that he gave him £300, so I’d feel jealous or something? Yeah… no I don’t even care. But that’s how disgusting he is.

He also got my brother and his girlfriend involved by telling them he wanted to see me, I have my brothers girlfriend my number for him to contact me and he didn’t bother. I waited and waited for a text and he didn’t even bother! Not once did he bother. So why kick up a fuss about wanting to contact me? Yeah, more like he wanted to bring up all these emotions and make me feel like shit.

The reason I am taking my grandads name is because, that man was more of a father to me than that prick. He was there for me, he looked after me, made me laugh. I saw more of my grandad than I ever did my dad. From where I’m standing, my grandad IS MY dad, and when I lost him in 2017, I felt lost and broken and angry. There’s so much more I can say about this, but I will leave it there.

FUCK YOU ASSHOLE, YOU WILL NEVER BE IN MY LIFE EVER AGAIN AND GOOD RIDDANCE TO YOU. YOU HAD YOUR CHANCE AND YOU WERE TOO WEAK TO EVEN TAKE IT!!!

#mental health awareness #mental health #2023 #depression #dead beat dads #changing my name #deed poll #legalising my name #good riddance to bad rubbish #i hate you #you were never a dad to me #2017 #growing up #bad childhood #bullying #anti bullying #new identity #self hate