#i went insane for 2 weeks and made a lot of progress but i need to throw in the towel for now

[sibyl-of-space]

Ghost Trick ROMhack Update

Alright, I think I'm gonna have to put this down for another several months before I'll have time to look at it again. I was REALLY hoping that the overlay files would be the final key to this puzzle and I'd be able to find the last scene No Problem after that.

Unfortunately that hasn't been the case. I've learned a lot more about the ROM but it's still not enough to figure out where that last scene's rendering instructions are.

Details on what I have figured out under the cut. As always, insert warning here on how this hack is very spoilery so don't read if you haven't finished Ghost Trick.

As far as I can tell, the overlay files control the following:

0000 - this seems really low-level I haven't really been able to make changes to it that don't just prevent the game from loading. It also doesn't have any plaintext in it so it's really difficult to discern what it does. O001 - fairly certain this is just initial loading stuff, it's almost definitely not in this one. 0002 - an empty file. 0003 - this handles the menu for the "chapter select" screen and the "continue from this time?" screen. 0004 - this handles some stuff [for example, the animation that plays after you select "go back to beginning"] but NOT the "should I go back in time?" scene itself. I know this because replacing it with all 0's the scene loads fine. 0005 - this handles the main title screen menus. I did a lot of testing with it, and can replace some of the UI buttons with other textures and move them around, but it only controls stuff on that main menu. 0006 - as established previously, this is just the people/phone book database.

So there really doesn't seem to be an overlay file with the UI/rendering instructions for gameplay scenes specifically (unless it's in 0000, which would be annoying but not impossible). The reason I care about this is that the way that "back in time" scene is handled it REALLY seems to me that it's handled the same way UI elements are, since whether Sissel is a human or a ghost will be reflected by whatever your save file's progression says it should be, regardless of what specific scene it's pulled from. It's not a hard-coded sprite. And it's NOT pulled from the System_0000 file where the text is defined, because those can be deleted and the scene renders fine just with no text.

I started to wonder if maybe the instructions for rendering that scene are in fact hard-coded individually in the st##_game###.xml file for each scene (not the localization file, where the sprites for regular dialogue lines are indicated, but the main .xml file that has the code for the scene) that has a back-in-time function. That would be WEIRD, but a lot of how this game is put together is a bit weird so it honestly isn't out of the question.

I've been testing with st13_game021.xml, which is the final gameplay scene in the game where you are in Temsik Park in the past. I've tried to compare it with st13_game012.xml, which is a different gameplay scene with back-in-time, but it's difficult to do so because it's not like the information is in the same place, and both files are large.

I have found one thing that might be a good sign:

In both files, there is a "FE" toward the beginning in the portion of hex code that messing with has a tendency to just crash the game when it tries to load.

st13_game021: at position F4 st13_game012: at position 78

And if this "FE" is replaced with "FF", it results in the scene loading normally... except the "back in time" button has disappeared:

Note the conspicuous lack of a button in the upper right. Not only does it not spawn the first time, it also does not spawn after returning to gameplay from the database or anything else.

Now, this really doesn't prove... anything. But it does mean that in at least some sense, these st##_game###.xml files DO have some control over the rendering of the UI, which I think means it's quite possible that they hold the key to this final change I want to make.

I haven't been able to narrow down any other part of the hex code that corresponds to the "rewind time" scene. But I did test replacing this particular "FE" value with a lot of other things and in some cases I got interesting results.

The vast, vast, vast majority of replacement values either freeze the game or cause it to stutter a bit and then load fine, but with no "rewind time" button. But a few exceptions:

FE = intended behavior, rewind time button spawns. F8 = top screen renders a grey and black line pattern and game freezes. EF = game automatically goes to a "saving progress" screen and DOES IN FACT OVERWRITE THE CURRENT SAVE. In the case I tested it created a save that thought it was in Chapter 1 and freezes if you try to load it. AF = there is a transparent black bar at the top of the bottom screen that appears before it freezes.

I don't know for certain what my next approach will be when I pick this up again. The unfortunate thing is that I'm almost completely certain that the rendering instructions for that "should I go back in time?" scene are somewhere really annoying, because I'm pretty sure everywhere that uses some amount of clearly labeled plaintext when decompressed has been ruled out at this point. It's almost certainly somewhere low-level-enough that making random hex code edits without precision just make the game freeze before you can test anything useful. I would love to be wrong about this.

If anyone has recommendations for useful tools that might help isolate this remaining change I'm all ears. I think I am reaching the limits of what my approach of "very laborious hex code changes, load the ROM and see what changed, take notes, and try again" can do. I'm trying to cross reference different scenes that also have the rewind time function to look for similarities but it's difficult because I can't just do a side-by-side byte comparison since often the same instructions are at different locations in memory depending on what else each scene has. But I may also just need some time away from this to figure out a better approach. Possibly messing with save files will help, and since I now know that for some reason changing the "spawn back in time button" byte can make it force a save file, I guess I could use that to my advantage.

At any rate, that's probably as much progress as I'll be making in April 2024. I'm just as dedicated to finishing this as I was 3 years ago but after spending 2 weeks working kind of nonstop on this (and successfully updating the database, which was huge) I need to put it down again. Hopefully the next time I pick it back up I will completely finish.

Please feel free to DM or post in the RHDN thread if you have any knowledge that might help. Also, I have a metric f***ton of notes from my testing of the chapter.xml file, the overlay files, and the stage files; eventually I feel like I should publish some of my findings that aren't relevant to my own hack just so people have access to them. It's not a priority atm, but if anyone thinks any of those would be useful let me know and I'll prioritize it.

CURRENT STATE OF THE HACK:

In the English language, Sissel has been updated to use the cat sprite for all known gameplay scenes except for the "should I go back in time?" scene. Yomiel's corpse has also been replaced with an animation of the cat.

In other languages, the database sprite change will populate but no other changes. Sorry.

#leo tries modding ghost trick #romhacking #i went insane for 2 weeks and made a lot of progress but i need to throw in the towel for now #im still really pleased i figured out the database last week that was huge #there is one thing left and while it is the final boss of this romhack i think i will finish when i come back to it #maybe that will be my celebration after i release amadeus episode 1 LMAO

[exopelagic]

i will not panic abt my exams

#it will be fine actually #I’m stressed bc they’re in. a month now like a month from today and I’ll be done #but that just means I have a whole month to be making notes I can do a lot in a month #I’m going home on Friday which is stressing me out but it’s just one week I’ll go Friday and leave Saturday/Sunday #and if I can do a handful of lectures while I’m at home that’ll be a useful step no matter what #i can probably focus on like molecular ones which are easier to structure bc I just need to pull out the mechanisms #tomorrow I just gotta read up on two topics really and then I can write the dumb mock exam which I won’t be able to do at home bc its 4 hour #I hate that we have to do that especially bc it’s got shit evil questions but whatever #and I can’t feel bad abt being slow to get back into this bc im an animal with a body and it takes a while to get back into Anything #and I’m worried abt the exam yes bc of how it went last year when I was unprepared but 1) I won’t be THAT degree of unprepared this year #2) it is unlikely that i get as insanely unlucky as I did last year #fucking hell I just. don’t think I’m made for this kinda system I can’t make myself work in it #every single term of my degree so far I’ve been fighting to keep up with everything and had no time to properly prepare for the exams #and then scraped it by working off a baseline level of being good at putting ideas together quickly and strategically working last minute #on whatever will give me the best shot at getting what I need but that’s not possible in these two exams bc I have over 100 lectures to know #I can’t do 100 lectures in a month. it’s just not possible but what I can probably do is summarise some important bits for like half of them #I think I’m bad at the whole sustained effort on a big task over a long period of time #bc this is so huge that there’s no way for me to see progress or move on to anything new bc it’s just. a stack of 100 lectures to deal with #I HOPE I’m better at dealing with project next year bc i think it’ll be more task based #and like I can watch the lectures the first time round bc there’s a set thing to do and an end point #I have genuinely no idea how to approach this in a way that will be useful achievable AND get enough done within the time I have #anyway I can’t stress abt it now bc I have to go to the shop and then home to cook. so #AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA #luke.txt

[gay-dorito-dust]

Hi! I hope your doing well while you read this request! May I ask for HSR Men (Jing Yuan, Blade, Dan Heng, Welt and maybe Boothill) their reaction when after 2 weeks of disappearance from their s/o because of a mission, they came back to them all exhausted and slightly injured. If I can be more precise, can you describe how they acted when they had no news of their s/o et their reaction when they came back please?

Thank you for the attention you’ll give to this request ! I hope you’ll have a great day/night!

-🩵✨

This is a long one, so brace yourselves! And have a great morning/evening/night! 🦦🐿️

Blade

‘Where have you been?’ Blade hissed, anger laced his voice as he drags you to the nearest surface and eased you on it, keen to avoid worsening your wounds.

‘I was on a mission.’ You sassed, not wanting this to be your first conversation back from a near death experience.

‘I know that,’ he barks as he rummaged through the cabinets for a first aid kit, uncaring do the mess he was making in the process, ‘you’ve been on a mission for two fucking weeks and not once did it come to mind to keep in contact during that time?’ He adds, looking at you with a look that wasn’t angry but instead scared.

Blade had spent the past two weeks going utterly insane form the lack of communication on your end. At first he didn’t think much but by day 12, Blade was more or less ready to included himself in your mission. Unfortunately according to Elio, this wasn’t apart of the script and Blade was made to stay on the sidelines and await your return.

It wouldn’t take long before you came home but you came home in the worst of conditions that Blade had ever seen you in recent memory, and that made him extremely upset. Not at you though, more or less at the person or thing that made those wounds on you.

Communications were down, I had no way of telling you anything.’ You replied, having already grown annoyed at his constant pestering and prodding.

‘Well you should’ve.’ Blade muttered gruffly as he gently took your arm into his hand and examined the wound and had to bite his tongue from saying anything else, but found that task to be a bit too difficult for him. ‘Then I could’ve stopped them from hurting you.’ He added.

You groaned and punched your brow with your free hand, all you wanted to do was go to sleep but couldn’t help but feel warm on the inside at the idea of Blade getting revenge on your behalf. ‘That’s not necessary.’ You told him, trying hard not to wince as he cleaned your wound.

‘And why not?’ He asks, noticing your attempts and wordlessly tries a different approach in cleaning your wound.

‘They’re all dead.’ You replied nonchalantly and Blade couldn’t help but smile. ‘That’s my partner.’ He says but the smile soon falls as he finished patching your wound and looks you dead in the eyes. ‘However the next time you’re sent on a long mission I’m coming with, no excuses.’

You groan again, there was no winning with this man.

Jing yuan was trusting in your abilities to keep yourself safe but the longer he went without update of you nor progression of the mission, Jing Yuan grew worried that something had happened.

He already lost a lot, he didn’t need your loss on top of all that. He lost hope on appreciating that he was living once, he knew that if anything happened to you he would relapse into those old ways but with no chance of recovery.

He would try and fail many attempts of making contact with you, only to be met with static as a responses which didn’t exactly help his hope in seeing you that slowly began to dwindle the longer he tried, until he stopped trying all together.

In his mind you were gone a long time ago and he should start his grieving while he could.

However you did come back, but not exactly in the best shape…you were wounded and exhausted but to Jing Yuan you never looked more alive in that moment as he was quick to get you medical attention. Not once did the general think to leave your leave your side as you laid out on the bed, wounds patched up and fast asleep from everything.

He even slept in the chair next to your bed, making sure your sleep went undisturbed and had a familiar face to wake up to as to not feel misplaced somewhere foreign. Jing Yuan didn’t feel entirely comfortable in leaving you alone during this time, especially when you’re vulnerable and susceptible to a plethora of things.

Not when he barely avoided a possibility of never seeing you again. He didn’t care for the reasons why you couldn’t contact him, those can wait for another time, he only cared that you were back by his side and alive.

So he’d fall asleep with his hand laced with yours and his head resting on your lap, acting like your personal guard dog as he kept his body facing towards the door in the instant he had to protect you.

No one would take you from him again, mission or not, you were staying by his side from now on, generals orders.

Dan heng didn’t think much when you didn’t reach out and tell him about the things you’ve found that he might like whilst away, however that didn’t mean he didn’t have a bad feeling about all of it.

He did but he couldn’t prove why as it was too early into the mission to say why he felt that way. Dan Heng always trusted his instincts when it came moments of uncertainty as they’ve always been proven correct. However this was the one time where he really didn’t want that to be the case.

Yet the longer he went without the regular flow of communication between the two of you during missions, Dan Heng felt himself break out into a cold sweat during the night and out of breath from experiencing another nightmare where you didn’t come back from this mission, leaving him utterly heartbroken and lost for the rest of his days.

He couldn’t close his eyes for a single second without the nightmare flooding back to haunt him of a potential future without you, his other half.

He even had nightmares where you were calling out to him for help but he couldn’t hear them and was forced by an higher power to ignore your soundless cries and walk away unbothered. Those were the nightmares Dan Heng hated the most as there would never be a moment in his life where he would ever leave you to such a cruel fate; He’d be more than gladly suffer with you than ever abandon you.

So the moment you came home wounded and exhausted, Dan Heng didn’t waste time in getting you to medical, taking everything the doctor told him to help you heal seriously as your newly appointed caregiver. Some of the time he came across as strict but he meant well as all he wanted was for you to get better and soon, seeing as how you gave him the biggest fright of his life.

He doesn’t let anyone else near you.

You can blame it on his dragon noodle side as it grew overprotective of the fact that you -his mate- were in seemingly left in a vulnerable state. He didn’t care to listen to the reasonings as to why he should let anyone else come near you, not without knowing their intentions in descriptive depth, he could take care of you himself perfectly fine and without any outside help.

He was your partner, you were his responsibility but this was all just an excuse to hide the fact that Dan Heng was genuinely scared of letting you out of his sight, even if it was for five minutes because a lot could happen in five minutes. So now he stays close to you from then on as a precaution, holding your hand in his and squeezing it as thought he was trying to convince himself that you were actually with him weeks afterwards.

Boothill didn’t like the idea of you being so far from him and much preferred for you to stay in contact if you were going to be so far away from him for so long.

However nothing seemed to want to go the way he wanted as soon as he found that he couldn’t contact you. None of his messages were going through and neither were his calls, as he read and reread the message that said you were out of the area for his messages to get through to you.

Boothill grew more and more restless the longer his texts didn’t go through, still claiming you were out of the area, whatever the hell that means and had to actively find ways to de stress because of how often he found himself on the verge of blasting anything and everything that moved.

You were his anchor, his partner in crime and his voice of reason, without you Boothill was teetering on the brink of becoming everyone’s problem should you spend even another hour more away from him.

So when you did come back with wounds scarred across your body and looking as though you were on the brink of collapse, Boothill was made more worried than before. Your wounds weren’t very deep nor life threatening but Boothill didn’t care, you were hurt and he wasn’t made aware of it for the past two weeks.

He wanted to hunt down the bastards who made those wounds on your body and make them pay, regardless if they had a bounty on their heads or not, he’d gladly hunt them down just to set an example as to why you don’t fuck with Boothill’s loved one.

‘Don’t.’ You croaked, grabbing his hand. ‘Just stay with me and make everything okay cowboy.’

Boothill, not one to argue with you, especially not in your current state, obeyed your wish and stayed by your side as you slowly but surely recovered from your wounds with scars left behind as reminders.

Though that didn’t stop him from going off behind your back to hunt the bastards down, he never could let go of a grudge after all.

Welt basically worried himself sick when he didn’t hear anything from you the first couple of days, but was soon talked down from doing anything rash that could potentially put you in even more danger, regardless of his intention of being by your side.

Welt was restless for the remainder of the two weeks, double checking his phone for anything that could push him over the edge and force him into acting.

What happened to you?

Why weren’t you responding?

Were you hurt?

Were you in danger and he didn’t know?

So many thoughts floated in welt’s mind as he was left feeling powerless as he was forced to await your return, hoping that all his thoughts were just that, meaningless thoughts that had no real affect in reality.

He was wrong.

You did come home but you came back with some new wounds and a face that screamed exhaustion. You barely took one step before collapsing into Welt’s arms as he got you medical help.

‘What happened out there?’ He’d calmly ask one day as he held your hand, thumb rubbing the back of it reassuringly.

‘Communications were down,’ you told him as you squeezed his hand, just happy to be back home and with him, ‘then the mission went south as I found myself out of my depth on several occasions, I’m sorry Welt.’ You finish weakly.

‘There’s nothing to be sorry for.’ Welt reassures as he presses a kiss to your forehead. ‘Not all missions go according to plan and all that matters right now is that you’re safe, so please don’t apologise for things beyond your control.’ He adds as he watched you slowly drift to sleep, still feeling a little exhausted from the mission and everything that happened.

Welt stayed awake for a little while longer to commemorate this moment to memory, to treasure it during the moments when you were to be apart from one another again, but until that time Welt would hold you as close as he possibly could and keep you safe to the best of his abilities. Your safety meant a lot to him and he’d rather jeopardise his own safety if it meant that you’d never get hurt again, he’d do it in a heartbeat because that’s just how much you meant to him and todays events only solidified that.

#hsr jing yuan x reader #hsr boothill x reader #hsr imagines #hsr imagine #hsr x reader #honkai star rail x reader #honkai star rail #Honkai star rail imagine #Honkai star rail imagines #blade imagines #blade imagine #blade x reader #boothill imagines #boothill imagine #boothill x reader #dan heng x reader #Dan heng imagine #Dan heng imagines #welt x reader #welt yang x reader #welt Yang imagine #welt Yang imagines #jing yuan imagine #jing yuan x reader #jing yuan imagines

[megumi-fm]

26th to 30th Apr; doa🚲 complete!!

hi. gah. okay. here's my wrap up for the month

📝 prepped for and completed the last set of internal tests for this degree [2/2] (which I got through after much cribbing and whining and quite literally projecting study topics onto my blorbos 👍 ) 📝 started GRE prep!

🎓 got some gradecard related paperwork done 🎓 spoke to my prof regarding my internship deliverables for uni—report format, certificate requirements, etc etc

📥 I voted! it was the first central elections since I turned to an adult and the whole experience was quite interesting

💻 completed a bunch of tasks for my internship

💻 made like a super extensive flowchart about all the work done at my internship which took me like a total of 20+ hours T-T 💻 finished preparing my Uni Internship presentation! 💻 submitted the presentation to the assistant guide, waiting on her response to make changes atm

🍶 7+ glasses of daily water intake 🎵 svt's new single is out and I've been going insane about it and thus this challenge comes to an end... I had started this off as an 18day daily habit tracker but then it kind of grew out into a challenge for the month. Special thanks to Yumi the loml <3 (@thelastneuron) for starting the Days of April challenge (Yumi idk when you'll see this but i miss you and I hope you've been kicking ass during your hiatus). also massive thanks to Zip (@zipstidbits) for leaving the kindest comments/tags on my post during the past week and to Tanishka (@booksbluegurl) who is literally the sweetest and has been sending in asks and keeping me company during this challenge <3

there's a lot more i wanna yap about in regards to how the month went but I'll leave that under the tags xD goodnight besties <3

month end brainrot

april started off with dips and more dips but by the end of the month it feels like I've caught up. productivity is a wave so as long as I keep riding at it i'll be okay.

also. progress is cumulative. even the seemingly inconsequential completion of daily tasks has lead to an overall improvement through the week. things add up

I spent a lot of time this month (and moreso this past week) feeling dejected that I've been leaving my tracker posts (and my digital planner entries) incomplete... but like. the whole point of trackers and planners (and this studyblr) is to get work done. work is the priority and the tracking is a means to an end. so if im getting work done that is already a win. yeah... i've had to keep reminding myself that

there is no one-tool-fix for tracking and journalling. what works for planning out one task will not work for the other. I need to strop trying to fit all my plans into one formulaic strategy box

on that note. it's time to return to handwritten journaling. digital journalling (notion + YPT + discord + tumblr) was fun while it lasted <3 but my brain needs novelty again so it's time i switch back. I think I finally have an idea for a system that could be sustainable for me... although I say that every time I switch to a new form of tracking. but hey. as long as it helps me get work done for whatever duration of time, it's good enough

using kpop and kdrama references to make notes and study really paid off. ngl I only did it cause I was super desperate but incorporating stuff I couldn't understand with a topic I really like paid off. It also gave me the motivation and momentum to study for much longer than I otherwise would have

last but not least. my water intake has been really good this month! I've also been eating healthy and I've been cooking more my phone usage has also been reduced by a lot. sure none of them have had a perfect streak but i started at zero and it feels like I've levelled up quite a bit. the exercise component has been a bit difficult to maintain given my workload :/ i need to figure out what to do about that...

yep. that's it for now. this month really tired me out, I think im gonna lay off daily challenges for a while. For now I guess I'll stick to my (bi?tri?)weekly tracker posts xD

#20doa🚲 #studyspo #queued #18dayht #studyblr #study motivation #study blog #accountability #studying #student

[souryogurt64]

I’m so tempted to go to the last show but I already went to Saturday’s show and my mom will most likely not let me go because she’ll say that I already went. Might fuck around and ask my dad to get us tickets because I need to see this last show….

I am really sorry to trauma dump on your ask specifically, and this doesn't really seem like it's your situation. But. I've been wanting to tell you guys this happened last month. I didn't really know how because it was so extreme, even for me usually. But I get a lot of kids venting to me about their parents in my inbox. Just in general, but especially a bunch lately regarding Fall Out Boy concert ticket drama. So I guess this is a cautionary tale and advice for any kid following me with emotionally abusive parents who is having a hard time getting to whatever show on this tour, because I think there's got to be at least ten of you following me

Backstory, I'm 24 and got my first "real" job in February. It's like. An actual job that pays well and has health insurance and time off and benefits and stuff. I never thought this was achievable for me. This came very out of nowhere and was a huge shock to everyone.

My parents definitely did not think I was ever capable of doing this. I think they're kind of in a "denial" phase. They had me 100% convinced I was never going to be able to hold a job and I was always going to be dependent on them or homeless or something, IDK. Anyway, I’ve been there for almost 6 months, so I was taking my first vacation-- like my first-ever actual one with PTO-- to visit my friend and see Fall Out Boy.

My parents had offered to let me borrow the car to do this. They had been telling me everything was fine for months leading up to it. Stuff had been going fine between us for awhile. I delivered my mom’s favorite flowers for mother's day because I was on a business trip. Like a week before this I went out for a "really important" dinner with my dad and his boss and his boss' daughter as a "huge favor."

I also needed to be home that week anyway because I had to see my psychiatrist, and also it was my best friend from high school's 21st birthday. And my parents have 2 cars, my dad works from home and my mom works at a school a 5 minute walk from our house and it was July. So it made no logistical sense for me to get a rental. But if they hadn't offered or been okay with me taking the car, I would have said "Ok, no problem."

Anyway, as soon as I got off the Metra, I knew something was weird. They made me drive and my mom was screaming and gasping and saying I was driving "crazy" and "too fast" when I was going 20 below the speed limit. Also that my sunglasses "weren't safe" for driving. But instead of taking them off, I had to wear hers. She did this when I was a kid and I got anything nice like a sleepover or a Girl Scouts trip or something. She was trying to pick a fight that she could progressively escalate, and then tell me I couldn't go because of something I did or said. And sure enough, when I tried saying no to one of her weird power plays, she started saying I had to do it or I wouldn't see Fall Out Boy.

Except I'm not a kid anymore so this was meaningless. Once we got home I tried to disappear but my dad wanted us to "talk it out." It kept escalating because my mom was fake crying and saying she didn't know anything about the concert until the night before and wasn't okay with me taking the car. Which was all a lie. I started to get pretty agitated, because it was gaslighting in a non-post-ironic sense, and she started filming me. This was something she did a lot when I was younger.

I had been trying my best to ignore her. At this point though, I felt this was going to go on for however many hours it took for there to be some kind of insane drama, and my dad was going to enable it.

Again if they hadn't wanted me to take the car, that would've been fine. But by offering to let me take the car and then pulling this, they tricked me into a situation where getting to Fall Out Boy was either going to be a very prolonged and horrible emotional nightmare, or a a very expensive logistical nightmare. It was also about trying to punish me for going and make my special first vacation-slash-Fall-Out-Boy-Extravaganza as miserable and stressful as possible, I think, which definitely worked.

So anyway, she starts filming me saying I'm being hysterical and out of control. I was pretty upset but I was just sitting at the table and kind of crying.

I was holding a glass of water, so I stood up and threw the water at her. At this point I think everything went off the deep end. I don't want to get into all of it, but there was a lot of screaming. Other highlights included my dad grabbing a knife laying on the counter (lol) and me shattering the actual glass. Then things started getting very physical so I kicked my dad in the balls as hard as I could. After that my mom started trying to call the cops so she could try to get them to take me to the psych ward in a cop car again but I said some stuff that scared her into stopping.

So for anyone following me who's younger and has parents with like mental issues or is in an abusive household. There is nothing you can do to prove to your parents they should "let" you go. There is no magic age where you will be "old enough" to leave the house or do things. There is no GPA you can achieve or degree or even job you can get that will make your parents okay with you going places and doing things. There is nothing you can do to earn it. It is never going to happen.

You just need to get out as soon as you can and minimize contact. Better yet, find a way to go to concerts anyway. I had money and access to a car but I was afraid of drama and thought if I just tried hard enough someday they'd let me go. They were never going to. Just go to the concert anyway and ignore whatever drama happens and know it will be over eventually. The fact that you went will matter way more in three years.

My honest advice to any teenage girl whose parents won't let them go to a concert is this: Literally any slightly older boy will take you to a concert if you buy him a ticket. Do not mention anything about your parents not knowing because they will get paranoid. Be safe, only do this with people you know and trust, do not have sex with anyone, and use your best judgement about the kind of people you hang out with. But this is your best bet. Sneak out if you have to.

But as an example, my friend worked at Jimmy John's in high school and college. All her coworkers were guys and some of them were college aged. We'd go to their Dungeons and Dragons sessions. Literally any one of them would've gladly taken a free ticket to see Fall Out Boy, and none of them would've done anything weird. I could've just told my parents I was sleeping over at her house and not said anything. She could've gone too and then I could've actually spent the night at her house. It would've all been fine. I was just too scared of my parents to do anything like that. If it's on a weeknight just sneak out and deal with it or say you're working and don't come home. Make sure you go to school the next day though.

Also I had money and worked a lot but my parents were really obsessive about my bank account. If you're in a situation like that, just ask your job to start giving you checks, open an account at another bank, and start cashing only some of them there. It's hard and scary and a lot of responsibility, but it's easier than you think, and it's worth it. The people at the bank will help you, just don't mention your parents because they'll get paranoid. (The earlier you start doing this the better--I'm 24 and dealing with the bank drama now and it's way worse than if I had thought about this 8 years ago). You deserve to do things like this and you should not feel guilty about it

Just your gut. Do not sleep over or get drunk/high with a guy unless it's someone you really know and trust. If you're going anywhere with someone just actually be friends with them first. Also do not do this with guys that are too much older either, because they're definitely going to be weird. But if you're 17 and give a 19 year old friend-of-a-friend a free ticket to Fall Out Boy, they'll gladly drive you. If you're in college, just be smart, and be safer than you think you need to be. But this advice applies to a lot of like 18-20 year olds too. Good luck haha

[deafeninggardenerpanda]

a while back on twitter i livetweeted my process with making my meta knight charm

im kinda going insane so i thought i would do the same thing here on tumblr for the new magolor charm im working on. its a lot of images so theres more + a Lot of general merch making commentary from me under the cut

despite being the easiest to make a concept of, with my very first concept sketch being the one i went with, this drawing has fought me every step of the way. the lor is self explanatory (damn you lor) but i had a lot of trouble with magolors proportions and shapes too. in the end i ended up going for something closer to the second sketch to be closer to magolors canon appearance

the lors oars ended up not being able to be as long as my initial concept sketch. i had them extend so high up for framing and to round out the shape of the charm a bit better. without them the charm ends up being really oddly shaped and unbalanced looking, so i added a vortex in the back to help round out the shape in the middle and on the right side. thats not the only reason i added the vortex though! in order to celebrate rtdldx coming out soon i wanted to make the back alt the new manager magolor outfit. because his hat extends into what would be a clear area on the front side (the gap between the lors window and the sail) i had to put something solid in that area if i wanted the alt side to work seamlessly

related to the physical specs, im planning on printing these on rainbow acrylic for the sole reason of i thought it would look really cool if i made the rainbow tech lines on the lor transparent on my artwork, so that the rainbow acrylics effect would shine through, instead of just painting the rainbow effect on the artwork itself. i went to a convention a few weeks ago and apparently rainbow acrylic and gradient colored acrylic charms are really popular right now, so i got a lot of inspiration from there

gonna be honest just drawing the lor alone has kinda burned me out LMAO. i was planning on making another new charm for this batch too initially, mostly considering marx since ofc those two go really well together as a pair but that design requires me drawing nova which No. second i was considering susie but that requires me not only drawing her mech, but doing it at a difficult perspective. and then theres taranza whos very difficult for me to draw in general and i still have not made any concepts ive liked for him so oops

it probably sounds kinda money grubbing of me to make Two magolor designs right as the rtdl remake is coming out, but hear me out first of all ya boys got deadlines to keep on (my manu has a discount that will expire at the end of this month) and i really wanted at least 2 new designs for this batch (plus i still need to draw up a new sticker design to make for freebies) so i wanted to make something a bit more simple, and if you know me, i fucking love elegant shit with frames and halos and that, so here we are. this will be a wooden pin based off this kirbtober drawing i did, which ive always loved. i had a very specific idea for this pin in mind but wood is apparently a finicky thing to work with by nature, so ill have to see if the specs allow. maybe itll be a colored acrylic pin instead?

might reblog this post in the future if id like to update with more progress. (i love that tumblr allows you to be wordy but Man i miss being able to have unobtrusive threads like twitter)

#IF THESE IMAGES APPEAR ONE AT A TIME INSTEAD OF SIDE BY SIDE LIKE I FORMATTED THEM #IM GONNA BITE SOMEONE #*gardening noises* #dgp merch adventures #my art

[futuresconnected]

January 1st, 2024: Kiryu Quest Continues

Happy new year everybody! Hope you all enjoyed your Holiday Week!

I had the week off from work, and set a goal for myself to beat Yakuza Kiwami 2. It took me most of the week, even though my final playtime only came in around 32 hours, it somehow felt much longer. Big thoughts up top is that that game is an absolute blast, easily my fave of the series that I've played so far, and I think it does a lot of interesting things with its position as "remake sequel to a remake sequel to a prequel". I want to dig into that a little bit more, so bear with me here.

Now that I've played all three, its interesting to look at how Yakuza 0, Kiwami, and Kiwami 2 essentially form a trilogy that let RGG Studios look back at the story and characters that they built over the years and give the whole thing a new foundation. For me, I think that the clearest way that they accomplish this is with Majima. Goro Majima is a side character and recurring boss from the first couple of games in the series that grew a solid fanbase over time because who doesn't love a fucked up Joker man (I know I do), becoming popular enough to warrant RGG making him one of the protagonists and playable characters in 0. Here the players get a chance to meet Majima before he goes completely Joker-mode and get a better understanding of what kind of person he is beyond his later obsession with Kiryu and general mob boss-ness. His relationship with Makoto, a woman that the whole plot of 0 essentially hinges on, was something that I felt was really compelling, and his internal conflict between getting back into the Yakuza (killing Makoto) and helping this woman escape her situation and find a good life was something that had me holding my breath the whole time.

I bring this aspect up specifically, because the fact that RGG took the prequel story they made and built a ton of new connections to that into their remade first and second game stories is something pretty unique in the world of video games. Kiwami 2 is full of payoffs for this, from the very fun reprise of the cabaret club management game in Sotenbori and appearances from old Majima substory characters, to my personal favorite scene in the game where Majima reconnects with Makoto and both of them are able to get some closure on the mess they went through 20 years prior. These games usually don't get me too bad, but I was crying that whole time!

All that being said, this game was also intensely silly in ways that I loved, so here's a collection of good screenshots from times where Kiryu voice acted in a Yaoi game, runs into an impostor, and struggles to put together coherent sentences when various hot girls are on screen:

That's the Yakuza Update, I have also installed Yakuza 3 and played a couple hours of that, seeing Kiryu in full tropical dad mode is lovely, though I know that sadly will not last. Another exciting thing that happened this week is that I got the opportunity to help a friend of mine learn how to play Path of Exile!

For those who don't know, Path of Exile is a Diablo-style isometric loot-based RPG that was made for absolute freaks when it comes to character progression, player economy simulation, and pure visual clutter and chaos. It's by all accounts an insane game that you need to be a little insane to enjoy. I also have nearly 1000 hours of game time over the ten years its been out. When my friend Wes told me that he was going to play through at least the first five acts due to some end-of-year fantasy draft obligations, I offered my services as a guide and with a couple hours of instructive gameplay and conversation we managed to get his character build up and running, much to his delight. PoE is a game that is incredible easy to bounce off of if you don't know how the game is "supposed" to be played, or how to make a character that works, but I think at this point I've got him on the hook for at least a full Act 1-10 playthrough, and maybe a touch beyond that. I've never had the chance to play this game with a friend before, its been a lot of fun so far! And seeing someone experience the pure dopamine joys of filling the screen with bullshit that kills hordes of monster while zipping around at high speed has been a true joy.

That's all for me, I'll probably take a brief break from Yakuza Quest so as not to burn myself out, hopefully I'll get to play a good chunk more of Path of Exile, and the end of this month begins the 8 week Gamepocalypse of Yakuza 8, Persona 3 Reload, FF7 Reunion, and a bunch of other stuff I'm certainly forgetting. See you later!

#jan 2024 #futuresconnected

[khaycaprithewriter]

Everything you think you know. Update 2022

So.....wow. Its been a long, long, longgggg time. A year and 5 months to be exact since I stopped writing my blog. It no longer brought me joy and I really thought nobody cared enough for me to keep it going. But here we are a year and so months later and a lot has changed to say the least. I really don't know where to start but what I can tell you is that my life has truly changed for the better and I mean that whole heartedly! Although it has been better is has challenged me more than anything. I feel as though I really had my epiphany/breakthrough moment last year. 2021 was nothing short of fucking insane in ALL aspects. I made a life changing decision, I gave up something I never thought I could, and started choosing ME. That is one of the biggest changes of them all is that I actually started to choose things and make decisions that I felt suited me best and suited Naomi even better. After February 2021 I made the decision to change my health and take care of my weight. Being the big girl all my life has always taken a toll on me but now I viewed it in a different perspective. How can I truly live a long healthy life with my child if I keep ruining myself health wise? How can I tell my daughter to eat healthy and exercise if I don't? I realized that the heavier I got the more years were getting cut off for being there for my child and it was killing me. If you know me, you know Naomi means more to me than anything and anyone in this world and whatever I have to do give her everything she needs and more is what I will do. When you have a child your whole world stops. You realize every single decision or action you make effects their life in one way or another, positive or negative. I want to have a positive impact on my daughter. It was a very trying few months after deciding to better my health. I had a few people who knew and supported my journey but I had several others assuming I could not stick with it and would crash and burn and that took a toll on me. But, I realized at the end of the day I am doing this for ME not them and those that love and care about me will stand by me. I was seeing progress, seeing actual results. However, I was still sad and depressed and felt like I just wasn't completely satisfied with my life. I was having issues with my mom and brother and extremely unhappy in my relationship. I wanted to be alone every chance I got from any and everyone. There was this feeling of doubt. What if I am never truly happy? What if I will always settle for less than I deserve? These feelings were eating me alive. I had moved out of my moms house. It was too toxic and unhealthy. I knew I needed to find my own place and had been saving up for months to get one and working on my credit for 2 years to have a better shot at getting one. I was doing great things to process but wasn't feeling happy. I went from seeing my therapist every 3 weeks, to once a week. Every week I was begging her to give me answers and help me understand why I feel this way. She then told me something that changed my life. “The world isn't going to fall apart if you start choosing you. The world is going to keep going and get better once you start choosing you and STOP worrying about how everyone is going to react. You need to set boundaries and do whats right for not only you, but Naomi and I promise you, your life will change. I did just that. I found an apartment, got approved and moved in immediately. After getting my apartment, my car broke down and my insurance would not cover anything and the warranty wouldnt either. But, thanks to my credit and my savings I was able to a BETTER car, one of the best I have ever had after YEARS of hand me down cars. New apartment, New car. What else? A NEW JOB. After 2 years in a horrible toxic work environment I finally quit and no had a better paying union job and a job that can benefit my degree once graduating. Everything I manifested and prayed for was happening right before my eyes and it all seemed too good to be true, like a dream. I then made the decision to leave my 7 year relationship, and this was the decision that really shaped my life and changed it for the better. I won't say too much because if you know, you KNOW. But all I can say is that settling wasn't working for me anymore. I always had this feeling of not being enough, not being pretty enough, not being loved enough, just like i had enough of telling myself Id have my dream come true when time and time again its proven that it was never going to be that way. Those who know me know how hard I tried and fought to save my relationship but I realized that in order for me to be a good mom and person overall I have to choose whats best for me even if it hurts. Once I left and was newly single, that was my epiphany. The world didn't fall apart because I left him, I didn't explode or spiral into a deep pit of depression. I was actually okay!! From moving into my apartment, leaving my toxic relationship, got a new car, a new job and was sooo much closer to graduating college, I realized the world was truly mine for the taking. If I do not work my ass off and do things for me, I will forever be in the same spot and never more forward nor be successful. Being able to have safe space to call my own, fill my own fridge, pay my own rent and do everything on my own was hard to adjust to, but WORTH IT. Being able to take care of my daughter on my own without needing anyone or having to ask has been my biggest reward and blessing. I love being able to confidently say...I  am Miss Make it Happen!!! I love the bond that my daughter and I share. Its just us a majority of the time and we always have so much fun and laugh together. She really is my saving grave and God knew what he was doing when he gave me you. But, like always, God surprises me with more blessings. In addition to ending 2021 as one of the best and most life changing years of my life....he made 2022 even better. God has blessed me and chose me to carry life again. He gave me a son, a baby. To say I am overjoyed would be an understatement. I truly feel like God knows my heart was ready. I prayed for a baby for so long and knew at the right time, with the right person, he would bless me. To my unborn son, thank you for choosing me. Thank you for trusting me to carry you and keep you healthy and strong. Please keep growing strong for us. Daddy, Mommy and Naomi cannot wait to meet you. You do not know or understand how loved you are already, we love you baby boy.

If you have read this long I appreciate you SO much. Those who know me and love me have been waiting a long time for this blog and I hope you're proud of what Ive been able to express and put into words. I know loving me and being there for me isn't easy and I can be difficult but to have your continuous support always carries me through and is half the reason why I even do these blogs in the first place. To anyone who has never read my blog but took the time to today, thank you, thank you, thank you! I write these blogs not only because its my passion, but because I like to be heard. I have been silenced more times than I can count and this is my safe space to express me and be me, wholeheartedly. I want to be able to not only share, but connect with those who can relate and make them feel not so alone. On that note, let me know if there is ANYTHING you'd like me to write about or any topics that interest you! Stay tuned for my next blog, its going to be.....raw to say the least. 

[msookyspooky]

Terrible Trilogy

Part 13

wordcount: 7,336

"YN tell me, why do you still feel guilty?" 

You looked at Henry with an uneasy frown. You remember this, it was your last therapy session with him not quite 2 years ago. 

"What do you mean? I stopped Sidney from being stabbed." 

"Yes, but we've been over this. You did what you felt was right at the time. If Ms. Weathers wasn't there; it would have been inevitable. We made progress and then within the last few weeks, this guilt has returned. Why is that?" 

You released a shaky sigh in your chair. "Then maybe it's not exactly what I feel guilty over...I don't know." 

He sighed himself, sitting his pen and clipboard in his lap. "YN, you clearly feel upset over something. It's safe to tell me what it is." 

You were quiet...You couldn't tell him the guilt was from allowing Stu Macher to stay at your house out of fear and his emotional manipulation he was so good at; Making you feel sorry for him. It was always presented as him being some poor old friend with a change of heart...But he would drop tiny hints laced as jokes about what he could do if you called the police. You were stuck and felt guilt towards your living and decreased friends over the choice you were forced to make. 

You sidestepped. "Henry...Do you think there's any way that Tim and James could have actually been Billy or Stu?"

"YN, we've been over this as well... No I don't. I think you were under a lot of stress and the brain has a way of making us think a traumatic experience is similar to another. It's a sense of familiarity that's comforting to us." 

You sat up to look at him. "Randy thought it was them too. Gale. They said-" 

"What they wanted everyone to hear. These types of people get a rush from inacting other murderers that are represented in their minds as aspiring idols." 

You shook your head with a bitter smile. "So...You'll never believe me if I tell you?" 

"Tell me what, YN?" 

You lightly hit the chair under you. "Nothing, just forget I said anything." 

"YN, what is it? Is it the fact you think it's possible for them to still be after you?" 

"I...Maybe. I don't know. But what if they are? What if Tim and James were-" 

He eyed you and wrote something down on his pad before you even finished your sentence. You shot up with a glare. He only writes when you talk about Billy and Stu and you could just tell he thought you were hallucinating...Again.

"What are you writing, Henry? That I'm delusional when everyone else saw them too including Detective Andrews and Richards?" 

"They saw Tim and James, YN." 

"Who's to say they were?! What if...What if they're still out there? Billy and Stu…. I mean, we know Tim and James or whoever is still out there." You tried saving yourself.

"YN, is there something you need to get off your chest?" 

You shook your head. "Why? So you can label me insane all because it wasn't proven who they were?" 

"Then why did you tell the police they were Tim and James if you're so certain it could have been the actual Billy Loomis and Stu Macher?" 

You went to stand up. "Because they wouldn't believe me just like you don't and I'd rather not be labeled a bigger laughing stock than I already am. Did they do anything to REALLY find Tim or James? No. After a few short months of nothing, they considered it a cold case and stopped looking… They abandoned the case, and therefore, abandoned me." You stood up and put on your jacket. "Now, I have to watch my own back for two murderers whether they were Billy or Stu or not." 

You knew they were. Stu just visited your house a few weeks ago for the first time. You couldn't tell him that. Not now after seeing he would protest against even entertaining the possibility. You felt like your last ditch effort to out Stu was shot down. You didn't turn him in at Windsor as Stu because you thought he would just leave and you'd never see him again...If you knew he was going to be staying at your place; you may have thought otherwise. But then Gale would have found a way to twist it or the media or the police...You were stuck and desperate for someone to help you in some way but there was no one.

"YN, please sit down. This is a safe place where you can talk about anything or nothing. If you don't want to talk about it then we don't have to. " 

You stared at him long and hard before shaking your head. "...I think this is going to be our last session. All we do is go back and forth over the same topics and it leads to nowhere or we beat around the bush because I can't tell you." 

"YN, I don't think it's wise to end therapy. You've been through a lot and-" 

"Am I a danger to myself or others, Henry?" 

He stared at you. "No." 

"Then you can't force me to be your patient any longer. We're done. I'm sorry but I'm not going on medication for thinking Billy and Stu were Tim and James or thinking they could still be alive or for being flighty over loud noises and crowds, Henry." 

"That is not what I recommended the medication for...YN, I feel you will benefit from medication." 

"For what you think are hallucinations?" You pressed.

He sighed heavily. "Not for what happened at Windsor but for your behavior in between instances. Considering multiple times between our first session and now you have called me describing seeing things. Masks in a crowd, outside your windows, seeing who you think are Billy Loomis or Stu Macher or even seeing glimpses your deceased friend Sidney…Perhaps I do think it's best." 

You scoffed. "That was before Windsor! I panicked, okay?! I haven't told you I saw them since! You're telling me no one can think they see something when they're scared?" 

"And medication will help you not be scared of everything." 

"So it's gonna numb me? Just make me forget all my very valid worries?" 

"No, but it will help with night terrors and paranoia...And hallucinations. YN, you have anxiety, depression and PTSD and right now you're lashing out out of fear...Why are you fighting trying out medication so badly when it could help you? It's been 3 years, YN. You can't live in fear forever so why not take something to help your nerves and overactive mind?" 

"Because I don't need medication for something that's re-" You cut yourself off. "I don't want to be on medication when I haven't seen anything 'not real' in over a year. And what was real or not real, Henry? Tim and James were actively making me crazy for how long? How long, Henry? You weren't there! With due respect, you're just going off what I tell you." 

"And you could tell me more and help me understand, YN. You had awful people do awful things to you and you need help." 

Your shoulders untensed as you frowned at him. "...You're right and I'm sorry...But I'm taking a break from therapy sessions with you...You don't understand and I can't fully explain it to you...I'm sorry." You turned away, trying to swallow the lump in your throat. 

He wasn't really at fault but after Windsor, after finding out that they did survive and were now a giant secret you were forced to keep out of pure survival; Therapy wasn't the same. It didn't feel relieving like it once did but just one more person to hide this from who was thinking you were hallucinating from tiny tidbits of information you would drop just to see if you could tell him. You were dying to tell someone, anyone...But you couldn't. 

Henry spoke up as you walked away. "...What are you so afraid of?" 

You went to open the door but it was locked. You don't remember it being locked… "Henry, can you get the door for me?" 

He didn't move...This wasn't what you remembered. You turned back to him. "Henry?" 

He shook his head. "I don't think you're fit to leave here yet, YN." 

You felt panic set in as you jerked the door handle. "Henry?....Henry?! You cannot keep me here, Henry! This is unethical and illegal as long as I'm not a threat!"

You jerked the door before someone spoke up...Someone you haven't heard from in 5 years. "Baby...YN, I think you need to sit down and listen to the Doc here." 

You bristled, terrified to turn around. You felt your hand tremble against the door handle...Something was wrong. He shouldn't be here.

"YN, turn around." 

You sucked in a deep breath to slowly look over your shoulder. You closed your eyes with a pained gasp at what you saw.

"What's the matter, baby? You don't think I'm attractive anymore?" 

You opened your eyes again to see James...It was what you imagined from the police reports. It was his face but covered in blood with the top layer of skin gone. His intestines were wrapped around his neck from the giant gash on his abdomen as he sat in the chair you were in. 

"James...You're not real, you're dead." 

"Yeah, no thanks to those pieces of shit you insisted on hanging out with." He leaned forward with a glare directed at you. "I was on my way to a sports scholarship. I was planning on working on having a better relationship with my Dad when he got out of prison...I'll never get that now." 

You forced yourself to fully turn around, back pressed against the door. "James, you brought this on yourself. You were an abusive, mean-" 

He chuckled bitterly, his smile moving his skinned face in an unnatural way. "Is that what Stu Macher convinced you? They were protecting you? I choked you. I did...But at least I stopped. Did Stu? No, I don't think so. I think he was going to crush your wind pipe had you not lied to him and said you loved him as a distraction...What a fucking tool...You know it too." 

You could see the similarities between him and Stu now that you never saw before. In Highschool, you thought James was a monster and Billy and Stu were just misunderstood….Now? You weren't so sure about any of it. 

You spoke up. "We're not talking about Stu. We're talking about you, James." 

He continued. " Oh, I know. We were good, YN. We may not have been perfect but we were good. Then they started pushing. Pushing and pushing and running their mouths to me and threats and telling me you were fucking them...I snapped under pressure. Remember my dog? Remember when we found her mutilated in the field behind my house?" His face twisted. "I don't think it was coyotes. I think those fuckers did it." 

"They wouldn't kill a dog-" 

"Oh, so they can rip my fucking face off while I was still kicking and screaming but they draw the line at a damn dog?" He shook his head. "No...Those fuckers probably did it. They cornered me and threatened me, YN. They had me stressed out!-" 

You couldn't take your eyes off of him. The face you once fell for, gone. You interrupted him. "You were already a bad person underneath it all, James. Snapped under pressure; are you fucking kidding me? That's an excuse." 

"Oh! But Stu and that freak Loomis aren't bad people? Give ME a break....And what about me? What the hell did I ever do?" Another voice rang out. 

You turned to see none other than Casey Becker in the other chair. She looked so pale, blood at the corner of her mouth and her guts hanging out in her lap of her blood soaked sweater. 

The room felt colder, darker...Henry's desk light was flickering and illuminating their disturbing faces in an eerie way. 

She continued, tears straining her face and voice. "Huh? What the hell did I ever do to deserve THIS?!" She cried pointing at her own entrails.

You shook your head, you knew you looked like you saw a ghost even without a mirror. "This...This isn't real-" 

"ANSWER ME!" Casey yelled as James sat back in his seat and watched. 

"I don't know! You about everyone, especially anyone you felt threatened by! You didn't think that it wouldn't bite you in the end?!" You snapped, not knowing what else to say. You didn't know what you were saying, you were just saying it. 

Casey huffed through her tears as James scoffed with an outraged laugh. His face splitting and a bit of blood seeping down his neck from the motion. 

James spoke up for her. "Really? God, who the hell are you now?" 

Casey spoke up for herself. "So I talked about you behind your back like a lot of teen girls do and I deserved to be tortured and terrified and strung up for my Mom and Dad to find?!" 

You faltered. "N-No but-" 

"Face it, honey. This really had nothing to do with you. They just made you think it did. The reason I was killed was because I broke up with Stu Macher and he never got over it...He just used you as an excuse to get you on his side. And you fell for it." She half laughed and half cried with a sniff. 

"And I was collateral damage for taking Macher's place. " Steve spoke up behind Casey with his hands on her shoulders. You could hear the squishing sound of his guts sliding down to the floor where he stood. 

You nervously fidgeted with the handle on the door behind you.

Henry tilted his head to look at you. "...What are you afraid of, YN? What are you guilty of?" 

You felt your nerves getting the better of you. "God damn it Henry, open this fucking door!!" 

You eyed all the victims staring at you, glaring at you as if you did all this. 

Someone stumbled behind Henry's chair as he seemed unfazed. Principal Himbry's hair was a mess, his guts hanging out and blood out of the corner of his purple lips.

"And me? I was trying to keep you kids safe. I canceled school for a reason just for you punks to have a party and then I was made a mockery of on the football field by your delinquent generation." 

"I wasn't a part of that! I-I never would have done that to you Mr. Himbry!-" 

He pointed. "Ah, ah, ah. You are palling around with the boys that did this. That's as good as guilty in my book. YN, didn't your parents ever tell you about hanging around with the wrong crowd?" 

James laughed at that along with Casey and Steve as you had your back smashed against the door. Half tempted to attempt kicking it in but too scared to turn your back to them.

A new voice came in from the corner of the room. His throat slit and blood down his shirt. 

"YN, I was just there for a job. My daughter is 4 now and has never even met me...What did I do to deserve this? You have all these excuses for these young, asshole kids...But what about me? I tried to save you." 

"K-Kenny, I know you did and I can't thank you enough but...I-" You faltered. 

A much more familiar voice hit the room that felt like a punch to the gut. You froze with your mouth open and tears in your eyes as she used her usual sassy tone. 

"If you're so thankful; why are you dishonoring his memory by singing in the car with my boyfriend that did this shit?" 

There she was. Sitting on the edge of Henry's desk...But it was wrong. She was wrong. Her neck was at an odd angle that made you feel sick to your stomach. She moved it to the angle it should be with a sickening crack that made you flinch with a gasp. 

"Tatum…" You whispered shakily, tears rolling down your cheeks as she raised a brow at you.

"Huh? Don't got anything to say?....You know… I really wanted to give you the benefit of the doubt that Stu liking you was one sided. But here you are not able to shoot him in the head for me. Inviting him into your house and car, paying for his food, sleeping side by side, on some cute lil mission to…" She hopped off the desk and walked towards you as you shrank against the door. She reached a foot from you to glare into your eyes. "To what? Make sure you aren't as guilty as they are?" 

"Yes...Tat, yes!" You desperately cried.

She laughed with a bitter chuckle. "Oh sweetie, that ship sailed a long time ago…" Her face fell into a glare. "You are guilty." 

"I'm not!" 

"You are, bitch. You're fucking guilty by association!" She screamed with a stomp of her foot.

"Tatum, I tried to get them caught!" 

A voice was practically in your ear. "Then why aren't you still trying?" 

You froze, your heart dropping out as you slowly turned to see Sidney Prescott right beside you. Her eyes were dead and cold, her hair a mess with blood on her shoulder of her jean jacket. Just like that night. And a bloody slit in her shirt right in her sternum. 

"Sid...Sid, I'm trying but I don't know how without getting blamed myself." You whimpered.

She stepped forward. "And that's a bad thing?" 

You paled at that as she continued. "You hid their involvement from us that night. You could have told us, I already had my suspicions about Billy after he was arrested at my house that I chalked up as being paranoid. But if you would have told me, I wouldn't have went. You could have warned us." 

"They wouldn't let me and you wouldn't have believed me!" 

Tatum scoffed. "Just how cops won't believe you now? Face it, you aren't afraid of cops or of us not believing you...You're afraid you want them." 

"No." You shook your head slowly, swallowing down the whimper. 

"Yes. That's why you won't call the cops or kill them yourself because you freaking want to screw them. Deep down inside, you have a soft spot for those freaks...As if they wouldn't kill you in a blink of an eye you weak ass-" 

"NO!" You tried interrupting her with a yell.

"She's right, YN! If you won't get them caught because of fear of being accused yourself or because you like them; either way it's selfish!" Sidney snapped. "...You are a bad friend." 

Tatum continued. "God, we took your ass in. You wouldn't even know Billy or Stu or Randy if it wasn't for us and this is the thanks we get? You defending our murderers and helping them not get justice for what they did?!" Her face fell. "Or my brother...Wonder what Dewey would think of you knowing you're helping the guys that slaughtered his little sister?" 

You covered your face as a sob escaped you. "This isn't real, this isn't real, this isn't real-" 

"Or Randy. " Sidney gave. "He loved me, YN. You're just a replacement for me and you know it. He's only your friend because you remind him of me...I should have been with him and let you have Billy, had I known what I know now...Then again, the pansy ass Mama's boy would have still blamed me and my Mom. But at least I wouldn't have given Billy the satisfaction...Knowing he was making out with you before making love to me...How could you?" She shook her head with disgusted tears in her eyes.

You trembled, mouth open as you tried saying something but no excuse would come out. You felt nothing but shame. 

She tilted her head and continued.  "Oh, Randy would hate knowing you made out with Billy in the closet at that party and then shared a kiss with Stu...Especially after the theater incident at Windsor that we know you secretly enjoyed. You wanted it to happen until you realized they still wanted you dead. Wonder how your only friend would react to seeing the photo of Stu and Billy laughing with you? Or you all in the same car? Or in the same room of a motel? Or finding out you invited Stu into your house in secret?" 

"I didn't! I didn't have a choice!! I don't know what else to do!!" 

You started seeing Tatum get closer as well as everyone else. Their mangled bodies coming towards you as you could only press against the door. 

"You're as guilty as they are. " James gave.

"You're going to die just like we did if you keep defending them." Someone else said you couldn't make out. They were closing in.

Sidney leaned down to whisper to you. "...You're joining us soon...The anniversary of my poor Mom and our own deaths are in a few days...Casey and Steve's anniversary was a few days ago." 

"And mine is today, baby." James growled out, inches from your face. 

Tatum smacked the wall beside you and leered at you. "And the party was a few days after that. Not long at all." 

"You'll get what's coming to you soon. " Sidney numbly monotoned. 

You looked at her, clinging to her jacket with sobs escaping you as you forced the words out. "Sid, if you're alive...Just talk to me. Please! Stop this! Stop doing this!" 

She didn't answer you as you looked at her to see a burnt, hairless corpse where she stood...You weren't gripping onto her jacket. Your hands were on her charred skin.

Someone put their hands on you. A yell ripped from your throat as you lashed out. Hitting something as you screamed to the top of your lungs and swung at anything near you.

Next thing you know, you're on a dark floor. Your hand hit something as you reeled away with terror on your face. Scrabbling backwards as ragged, panicked sobs escaped you.

You trembled on the floor as someone turned on the light on the nightstand. 

Stu got in front of you, kneeling down to grab you and lashed out at him again. "D-Don't touch me!"

He sat back. You shakily gripped your head while trying to calm your breathing. It was coming out in harsh, shallow gasps as your mind was processing it was only a dream.

"Sweetcheeks, you're fine! It was just a nightmare babe. Chill out." Stu mumbled. He went to hug you again and you held your leg up to shove him away. 

"I said don't touch me, Stu!...F-fuck…" The sob came out whether you liked it or not. 

Stu stared at you like a deer in headlights.

"...Uh...Do you want to talk about it or something then?" 

"No." 

He just stared before he stood up with his own frustration in his voice. "Well, what am I supposed to do then?" 

"Nothing! J-Just leave me alone...God, please just leave me the fuck alone." You tiredly mumbled with a sniffle. 

It had a deeper meaning than just right now even if it went over Stu's head.

Stu ran a hand through his hair and outstretched his arms. "I…" He gave a defeated pout. "Fine. But if I can't help you then I'm leaving. I can't stand girls crying, least of all you-" 

You got up. "Don't bother, I'm fine. I just need fresh air...I won't go far." You urgently shoved on a jacket and rushed out of the room. You didn't listen to any protest or wait to hear him say something. You didn't want to hear anything from anyone...Least of all him.

That nightmare put things in a very jarring perspective you wouldn't be able to shake for the rest of the day. If not longer. 

You opened the door and shut it behind you just to come face to face with the other one you didn't want to talk to. You saw the concern on his face for only a second, he was close to the door as if he was going to burst in at any moment. He cleared his throat and backed away as you hastily wiped your eyes. He avoided eye contact after that and turned away as you held yourself. 

"...Hey." 

"Hey." You mumbled back with a sniff. Not sure where to go. In the room with a clingy Stu wasn't ideal, not after the nightmare you just had. But you felt a lump of disgust in your throat at the idea of talking to Billy right now as well….Risking walking the street at night or locking yourself in your cold car didn't seem as crazy of an idea as they should.

"...What happened?" 

"...Night terror." 

You noticed all of the cigarette butts on the ground near his shoes. The one in his mouth dwindled so much you had to guess it was his last.

You held yourself. The awkward silence etching into the air around you both.

"I'm guessing it was about me and Stu, huh?" He mumbled.

"Not… Directly but basically." You changed the subject. "I don't want to talk about it. How long have you been out here?" 

"All night." 

"This guy isn't going to just pop out, you know." You muttered, looking around at the dark, vacant parking lot. 

"No shit. But I'm staying out here anyways." 

You nodded, seeing the curtain move in the motel window. You lightly rolled your eyes to yourself.

"...I'm going back in...Can I sleep in your bed if you're not using it?" 

"Yeah, knock yourself out. No way I'm sleeping tonight." He mumbled, distracted and looking out at the parking lot in deep thought. 

 You walked back in. Stu was on the bed but you could see the pillow falling off where he jumped in it to look less suspicious a second ago.

You sighed and went over to Billy's bed. Practically collapsing on top of it. Eyes burning from crying, nose running and mentally exhausted

Stu instantly sat up. "Hey, what are you doing over there, babe?" He gave a forced chuckle. "Billy will literally kill you over his fortress of solitude." 

"He said I could have it, Stu." You mumbled into the pillow.

You glanced over to see the glare on his face that he quickly tried to hide with a smirk. "Sweetcheeks, whatever you dreamed about wasn't real. There's no reason to take Billy's bed, man." 

"There is, Stu. I've wanted and should have had my own bed in the motels I'm practically paying for this whole time. The nightmare I had just put things into perspective." 

You saw the desperateness in his eyes along with the demanding tone he used. "You can't....I mean, he'll sleep in here eventually. So, you'll have to be bedmates with me again soon enough...Besides, I'll be lonely over here." He tried covering his tone with a joke and a playful puppydog pout.

You didn't answer him. You didn't feel like arguing. 

Stu huffed. "Fine, I'll give you space tonight. If you have another nightmare, you know where to come back to." He patted his empty side of the bed. 

You closed your eyes and didn't answer. He just didn't get it. Worst of all, you knew he probably did get it; he just put his wants before your needs. 

It had been a horrible night. All of you pacing, yelling, arguing and beside yourselves after that photo appeared. It was a wonder you slept the first time around. After that nightmare; you knew the second time wouldn't be so lucky. 

You tried to sleep but sleep wasn't easy after that. Tossing and turning, thinking over and over about the implications of that note and photo with the nightmare intensifying your worries. Who was this? Who was responsible for this? It had to be someone personal. Someone who either took Gale's lies personally like the megafan that attacked you a few years back or Gale herself. An even worse thought; what if it was someone more personal than that? You would never admit it to Stu or Billy but...What if Randy or Dewey did find out? You swore on your life they would never try to harm you even if they found out...But what if you were wrong? You were wrong about Billy and Stu. You were misled by Hallie and Mickey. Who's to say you have no one to trust? That someone you care about found out about this and they're getting revenge against the betrayal. What if it really was Sidney? The police claimed they found her body in the house but they didn't specify Sidney, just a young female corpse burnt to bone and ash...Who else could it have been?? 

Then again, Billy and Stu faked their deaths. Who's to say Sidney somehow managed to as well? Especially help from the police or someone on the police force that could have lied… That somehow gave a different body to the coroner's OR there never was one to begin with and you were misled. Someone like Dewey. Who had your address, who had your phone number, who dated Gale Weathers even after Windsor, who was the one that told you they never found Billy and Stu's body in the first place, who would have every right to want revenge against you or them for his sister.

The idea felt like a knife twisting inside of you; it hurt so badly. It would devastate you beyond belief to think Randy or Dewey could ever be a part of this. 

But if not them then who? Who could know where you all were? Who would take this to the levels this new killer was going and why? 

You didn't think you slept but you must have because the next thing you knew it was still dark outside with dawn approaching and you were being woken up by furniture crashing. 

You shot up to see Stu holding Billy down as Billy fumed up at him.

"Get your goddamn hands off me, Stu!" 

Billy struggled, trying to kick Stu and Stu just moved so he had a better hold of him.

"Are you freaking kidding me right now?! You think you can just dip on us? Just leave like a total wimp?!" 

Billy finally got his knee up and you heard a groan from Stu as he kneed him in the groin and shoved his way out of Stu's hold. Bag slung over his shoulder, trench coat on, ready to bolt.

You got up from bed. "Billy, wait! You can't just leave!" 

"Newsflash; I fucking can and I will and I dare either of you to try and stop me. I don't have any ties here, YOU do. Stu is the one connected to the movie and you're connected to Deputy Doofy and Meek Geek here." He gave a 'duh' expression and pointed to himself. "I have no ties...I'm nobody, and for once, that's a good thing. So I am getting the flying fuck out of here while I can before shit gets ugly." 

Stu went to grab him again. "You're not going anywhere! Why?! So if you ARE involved in this shit, we lose you? Or so you can leave scott free?! Fuck that! You're involved too, pal-" 

Billy hit him and missed as they both shoved against a wall before jerking each other down to the ground. You raced to your bag as Stu started laying into Billy and Billy shoved Stu against a table to get some defense.

"Hey! Both of you stop it! ...I said stop!!" 

They didn't listen as you saw fist flying and they were knocking things over. A lamp broke and that was the final straw for you. You didn't want to shoot them in a motel with your name on it or the sign in connected to Dennis Rafkin who was traveling with you...So, you got the one thing out you knew would stop them with no long term effects.

Stu had him in a headlock as Billy was trying to swing his body on top while getting hits in on Stu when you jammed it into his back. He released a surprised, pain filled yelp before you zapped him again. This time he fell away from Stu and onto the ground. 

Stu went to go after him and you jammed it into his upper side as it crackled. It probably should have been lower but considering what happened at Woodsboro; you figured you better stop this before the knives got drawn. 

"OW! SHIT!!" Stu yelled as he doubled over.

Billy glared at you from the floor as he caught his breath and Stu gripped his side and keeled over.

"What the hell was that!?" 

You held it up and showed it to them. "30,000 volt taser. And I have a 50,000 police grade stun gun in my bag too." 

"From where?!" 

"Dewey." You quipped with a smile. "Anyone can get them. He just directed me to the best ones to buy….Kind of wish he would have used one on you when you were arrested at Sidney's house." You mumbled.

Billy gave you a challenging look. "You think that's gonna stop me? Are you serious? I can stab you before you can even turn it on." 

You hesitated before sighing. "Billy, you can't leave. Not when we're just getting to the breaking point here!" 

 He rolled his tongue inside his cheek, glaring at you before getting up and charging you. He took you off guard for only a moment before you shocked him in his lower side as he grabbed your wrist. He tried getting it out of your hand, cursing in pain as he did so and you laid it onto his arm every time he tried. He was stronger than you despite his build. So you did the only thing you could do; Using his own momentum against him just like you learned in class. He almost got it until you pulled back and he stumbled before you jammed it onto his stomach through his shirt. 

That one he released a yelp with, eyes wide and body jolting back from it.

"Argh, you fucking bitch-" He muttered with a wince under his breath. 

You gave him a disbelieving glare. "Now, you deserve that!...In fact, let me get to my bag and get the police grade-" 

"NO!" He barked out, hunched over while trying to block you. "God, stabbing hurts worse but...Shit. It's like I'm still feeling it!" He hissed out as he gripped his abdomen.

"Yep. The longer I hold it on, the more your muscles are gonna contract. You have to be on drugs or have one hell of an adrenaline rush to get through it. It's enough for me to get away in a situation...And if that doesn't work, I took self defense classes after Windsor and if THAT doesn't work then I will shoot you. I think a taser is preferred over a bullet, Loomis." 

"Why did you use it on me though??"  Stu whined, standing up now but rubbing his side.

"Because you wouldn't stop and listen either! You both deserved it!"  

"Yeah? And you deserve my knife in your face. One day you aren't gonna have your toys do defend you." Billy growled out.

You held up a hand. "Im ALWAYS strapped with my gun so fat chance...Now would you both just chill out and listen?" 

Billy glared at you through his hair that fell forward, hunched over with his teeth clenched. "Well, you have our attention so what the hell is it?!" 

You held up a finger. "To stop fighting and wrecking our motel room. Do you WANT cops here?? The more noise you make and stuff you break; you might as well be begging them to come!" 

Billy pointed at Stu. "He fucking started the shit!" 

"Because you're trying to leave, dickhead!" 

"I am leaving and-" 

You all froze when the room's phone rang on the nightstand. It halted any further arguments for the time being. 

'Oh no...' You thought. Nothing good from that phone ringing.

You all blinked...It was around 5:30 in the morning. You worried it was the manager from a disturbance call from the fight. You quickly went to answer it.

"Hello? If this is about the noise, I'm so sorry-" 

"YN, it's been awhile hasn't it?" 

You felt your stomach sink and your features sag at the unexpected voice...It was the first time you heard it in years. No one could even prank call you with it anymore with your very private number you never gave out. Your home phone wasn't even in the yellow pages when you opted out just for that reason. To hear it right now sends a shiver down your spine.

Just hearing that voice made you feel like a scared teenager all over again.

"...YN, it's rude not to respond. Don't tell me hanging around those two has rubbed some of your manners away." 

Billy and Stu watched as the phone shook in your hand and you gritted your teeth. 

"What do you want?...What the hell do you want from us?...From me?! " 

"YN, I just wanted to tell you that I'm watching you. I'm always keeping an eye on you. I mean..We wouldn't want you to suffer the same fate as your old friend Sidney, right? Especially with two killers in your room...It would be a shame for you to trust someone again just for them to be the killers." The voice faked concern. 

"...Leave us alone...Please, just stop." You whimpered.

Stu instantly grabbed the phone out of your hand. "Alright buddy, where the hell are you? Why don't you come out and play with the big kids?! Too fucking scared?!" 

You could hear the laugh on the other line with how quiet the room had become. 

"Stu Macher. Always the blow hole. Always the attention seeker. Trying so hard to get the attention you lacked at home, huh? Leslie was always the favorite while poor little Stuart was pushed aside. Now, you're selfishly risking people's lives just so you get that attention you crave so badly on the big screen." 

Stu's face fell before contorting into a sneer. "You don't know shit." He growled. "You don't know a fucking thing about me, man!" 

"Actually, even with attention you are still a complete nutjob. You don't relate to people, you don't feel for people...Let me guess, getting responses is the only time you feel like a person , isn't it?"

Stu was getting red, his vein popping in his neck and his teeth nashing together in anger. "YOU DON'T KNOW A DAMN THING, MAN!"

Billy finally jerked the phone away from Stu as you eyed a light on the receiver. 

"Enough!" Billy barked out at Stu as he put the phone up to his ear. "You listen here; I'm gonna kill you when I find out who you are. It won't be long either. You're gonna slip up and when you do I'm gonna cut your throat!" 

"Not if I do it first, Billy Loomis." 

"You'll never find me in time-" 

You pressed a button that put it on speaker phone as you waited to read the digital caller ID slowly loading across the screen. The voice harshly cut him off.

"You're not going anywhere, Billy boy! Not unless you want this photo sent to the cops!" 

Billy nervously licked his lips but kept the tough glare on his face and edge to his voice. "They'll never find me either!" 

The voice chuckled. "So willing to squish the only two people you have left in the world to save your own hide...What a self absorbed little prick you are. Then again, I should have seen it in Woodsboro. You had the best girlfriend a boy could ask for and-" 

"I don't give a shit about the past!" 

You halted him. "Wait...Woodsboro? They're from Woodsboro!" You exclaimed with wide eyes.

Billy had an iron grip on the phone as you listened. "Who are you?! I'm sick of this shit already!" 

Stu chimed. "Yeah man, just come out and get it over with!" 

"But boys, I thought you liked these games? You certainly had no issues playing cat and mouse with your victims. Trying to guess the next move, whether your friends are really your friends, getting people scared before you strike them down...What's wrong? You don't like being on the other end of the phone line? You don't like feeling helpless? Well, that's not very good sportsmanship. Not good at all." 

You all were silent for a moment as the voice changed its tone to a dangerous warning. "...If any of you leave; I will turn the photo as well as any other evidence I have to the LAPD who then will turn it over to the FBI if you try to run. And if they don't get you; I will. I found you all once, I can easily do it again...How's your family YN?" 

"You leave them alone!! They didn't do anything!" You yelled loud enough for the caller to hear even with the phone on Billy's grasp. Complete panic in your voice at the idea of something happening to your loved ones.

"Neither did the victims of your lil...Friends." 

"They are NOT my friends. I don't have a choice right now because of YOU!" 

"You keep playing the victim, YN. You do it so well...You're all going to be on the news soon enough. Dead or alive." 

Billy had nothing to say, frowning deeply with a scowl. Stu's eyes were wide and his mouth parted as his brows shot up in worry. You just stood there, unsure what your expression was other than complete dread. 

You couldn't help but take the phone from Billy. That dream lingering in your brain as you asked the one thing that diary entry and now the admission of Woodsboro brought to your mind.

"Sidney?...Sid, if this is you...If you somehow survived...Please, please just talk to me. Please!" 

The other end hung up as you quickly went back to the caller ID, momentarily forgetting in the midst of it all...It just said the motel desk right before vanishing off the screen.

"How the hell is that possible?!" You cried out, gripping your hair. 

Stu glared at the phone as if it were the killer. "...They have to be in the lobby using the main phone." 

Billy was already on it, out the door. You faltered as Stu ran out too. You fumbled before releasing a frustrated groan and following them. Grabbing the motel key card and rushing after them.

You had a hard time keeping up with Billy who was already far ahead and Stu whose legs were a lot longer than yours. 

"Guys, wait up!" You exclaimed, rushing down stairs and cautiously getting to the door to the lobby.

They were both already standing there at the vacant desk, a piece of paper in their hand. 

"What?...Guys, what is it?!" You urged as you caught your breath and peered over to see.

It was a printed candid picture of all of you at Woodsboro as teens. You never saw it before but it looked like a cut out. You were laughing with Stu and Billy was smirking at you. It looked like whoever printed this purposely cut out anyone else. You could barely make out Tatum's shoe beside Stu. 

You soon realized they were trying to pair this photo with the current one...Just to prove Billy and Stu lived...And you knew about it.

You felt like you were gonna throw up. Your life is over if this got out. Stu leaned over the lobby desk, looking quesy himself as Billy stared at the photo like a deer in headlights. 

He quickly turned it to the back. 

"You're trapped." 

You all saw the desk clerk coming from the back room. Billy hastily shoved the paper into his coat pocket as you tried to make heads or tails of any of this. 

#I HATE writing the middle parts of my stories so much you don't understand #I have the beginning in my head and the end but the middle is like pulling teeth trying to plot out omfg #scream #stu macher #billy loomis #my writing #scream fanfiction #yn fanfic #she her yn #my stories #fanfic #ghostface #scream 3 #terrible trilogy

[cyndavilachase]

I’m Looking Forward Now 💖Thank you and good bye

So, it’s been a little over a week since Steven Universe Future ended… 

I’ve been hesitant to write this, honestly, but I’m tired of holding myself back from properly expressing myself in fear of appearing overly invested in the media I consume, even in private. Writing helps me organize my thoughts and feelings, and I feel like these thoughts in particular may resonate with many, so I want to share them. I want to talk about what Steven Universe has done for me personally, both as an artist, and as a person.

I’ve been around since the day the first episode of the original series aired. I actually remember when Steven Universe was just a logo on Wikipedia’s “List of Upcoming Cartoon Network Shows” list, back when I was a freshman in high school. It piqued my interest, but when commercials finally dropped for it, I thought it was going to be bad because of the way marketing handled introducing Steven as a likeable character. There was still something about it that made me want to give it a chance though, so I went online and watched the pilot before the first episode's release. I was hooked immediately. I knew I was going to love it, and I did. I fell so absolutely in love with Steven as a character, and the world that he and the gems lived in. I became obsessed. I was always so excited for new episodes to come out. Little did I know what else it would do for me as I went through my adolescence alongside it.

As the show progressed, it was evident that what I wanted out of a western animated childrens’ cartoon was finally coming into fruition: this show was becoming serialized. There was continuity, there was plot, there was character development-- it was getting deep. It was pushing the groundwork that Adventure Time laid out even further (thank you, Adventure Time).  

I will give credit where credit is due: earlier western childrens’ cartoons I grew up with like Hey Arnold, and Rugrats, among others, also touched on heavy topics, but Steven Universe was able to take similar ideas (and even more complex ones, concerning mental health and relationships) and expand on them outside of contained episodes and/or short arcs. These themes, which were a part of the show’s overarching story, spanned across its entirety. Continuity was rampant. 

What did this mean? It meant kids cartoons didn’t have to be silly and fun all the time and characters weren’t just actors playing a part in 11-minute skits. Steven and the gems would remember things that happened to them, and it affected them and how they would function and play a part in their story. This was a huge deal to me as a teenager. I always wanted the cartoons I grew up with featuring kid characters to feel more. In my own work, I often felt discouraged when combining a fun, cutesy western art style with themes as dark or layered as anime would cover. I always thought it had to be one or the other because an audience wouldn’t take a combination of the two seriously enough, based on discussions I had with classmates, friends, and online analysis I read at the time. Steven Universe proved to me otherwise. This show was opening the door for future cartoons exploring in-depth, adult concepts. I felt so seen as a kid, and was inspired to stick with what I love doing.

I was actually very worried about the show’s survival. It was in fact immensely underrated and the fandom was miniscule. Then in 2014, JailBreak dropped, and it’s popularity exploded. Part of it was because of the complex plot and the themes it was covering like I mentioned, but also because of its representation. 

I remember when fandom theorized that Garnet was a fusion due to grand, tragic reasons. Turns out, she’s simply a metaphor for a very loving w|w relationship. This was huge. I cannot stress how important it is that we continue to normalize healthy canon queer relationships in childens’ media, and Steven Universe finally was the first to do that proper. Introducing these themes offers the chance for a kid to sit there and ask themselves, “Why is this demonized by so many people?” I asked myself exactly that. Ruby and Sapphire were my cartoon LGBT rep. They were the first LGBT couple I ever ecstatically drew fanart of. I was dealing with a lot of internalized homophobia at the time, and they showed me that I was allowed to love women and feel normal about it. The process of overcoming this was a long one, but they played a part in my very first steps into becoming comfortable with my sexuality. I could go on and on about it’s representation in general-- how it breaks the mold when it comes to showcasing a diverse set of characters in design, in casting, and in breaking gender roles. It’s focus on love and empathy. Steven himself is a big boy, but he's the protagonist, and the show never once makes fun of his weight, or any other bigger characters for that matter. It wasn’t hard to see why the fandom had grown so large.

Fandom was always a joy for me. It was a hobby I picked up when I was in middle school, like many of us here did. I would always cater my experience to fun, and fun only. I only started getting more deeply involved in SU’s fandom when I had just turned into an adult. During the summer of 2016, between my first and second year of college, I drew for the show almost every day non-stop when the Summer of Steven event was going on and posted them online. This was a form of practice for me in order to become not just more comfortable with experimenting with my art, but also to meet new artists, make new friends, and learn to interact with strangers without fear. I dealt with a ton of anxiety when I was in high school. When I was a senior applying to art school for animation, I decided I was going to overcome that anxiety. I made plans to take baby steps to improve myself over the course of my 4 years of college. Joining the fandom, while unforeseen, was definitely a part of that process. I started feeling more confident in sharing my ideas, even if they were fan-made. I fell in love with storyboarding after that summer, when I took my first storyboarding class, and genuinely felt like I was actually getting somewhere with all of this. I remember finally coming to a point in my classes where I could pitch and not feel hopelessly insecure about it. I was opening up more to my friends and peers. 

But this process, unfortunately, came to a screeching halt. 

My life completely, utterly crumbled under me in the Fall of 2017 due to a series of blows in my personal life that happened in the span of just a couple weeks. My mental health and sense of identity were completely destroyed. All of that confidence I had worked for-- completely ruined. I was alone. I nearly died. My stay at college was extended to 4 and half years, instead of the 4 I had intended. I lost my love for animation-- making it, and watching it. I could no longer watch Steven Universe with the same love I had for it beforehand. It’s a terrible thing, trying to give your attention to something you don’t love anymore, and wanting so desperately to love again. I dropped so many things I loved in my life, including the fandom.

Healing was a long and complicated road. I continued to watch the show all the way up until Change Your Mind aired in the beginning of 2019, and while I still felt empty, that was definitely a turning point for me with it’s encapsulation of self-love. I was hoping James Baxter would get to work on Steven Universe since he guest-animated on Adventure Time, and it was incredible seeing that wish actually come true. The movie came out and while I enjoyed it and thought highly of it, I was still having issues letting myself genuinely love things again, old and new. It was especially difficult because cartoons were my solace as a kid, when things got rough at home. I remember feeling sad because the show ended, and not getting the chance to love it again like I used to while it was still going.

By the time Steven Universe Future was announced, I was finally coming around. I was genuinely starting to feel excitement for art and animation again. I wasn’t expecting there to be a whole new epilogue series, but happily ever after, there we were! Prickly Pear aired, and the implications it left in terms of where the story was going did it. I was finally ready to let myself take the dive back into fandom in January of this year. My art blew up, something I wasn’t expecting considering my 2-year hiatus. Following this, I was invited into a discord server containing some of the biggest writers, artists, editors, and analysts in the fandom. I had no idea there were so many talented people in the fandom, some already with degrees, some getting their degrees-- creating stuff for it on the side just for fun. The amount of passion and productivity level here is insane, and so is the amount of discussion that has come out of it.

I didn’t realize it at first, but it was actually helping me gain back the courage to share ideas. I lost my confidence in pitching while I was taking the time to heal, and graduating meant there would no longer be a classroom setting I could practice in. This group helped immensely. 

I have made so many friends through this wonderful series, and I have so many fond memories talking to like-minded creatives, getting feedback and a myriad of sources for inspiration, as well as all of the memes and jokes and weekly theorizations that came about as we all waited on the edges of our seats for episodes to air. I needed this so badly, I needed to get back in touch with my roots, when I would go absolutely hog-wild over a cartoon I loved with people who loved it as much I did. Future has been a blessing for me in this way. I graduated feeling like I was back at square-one, but now I feel like I’m on my way again.

It’s 2020 and while I’m doing great right now, I am honestly still recovering from the total exhaustion that followed after graduating a few months ago, and finally leaving the campus where my life fell apart behind. Needless to say, watching Future was like looking into a mirror. Watching one of my favorite characters of all time-- one that grew up with me-- go through so many of the same things I went through not too long ago was absolutely insane to watch unfold. It’s such an important thing too, to show a character go through the process of breaking down over trauma and all the nasty things that come with it, and to have them go on the road to healing. Steven got that therapy. He wasn’t blamed. The gems were called out. The finale was everything I could have ever hoped for. The catharsis I experienced watching it was out of this world.

As I continue my own healing journey, I will always look up to the storyboard artists, revisionists, and designers that I have been following over these past 7 years, as well as the new ones introduced in Future. It's been such a joy watching these artists release their promo art for episodes, talk about their experiences working on the show, and post the work they've done for it alongside episodes airing.

Thank you Rebecca Sugar, the Crewniverse, and the fans, for making this such a truly wonderful and unique experience. Thank you for reminding me that I am, and always will be, an artist, a cartoonist, and a fan. Thank you, my followers, for the overwhelmingly positive response to my artwork. I have had so much fun interacting and discussing the show with you all again over these past few months. Steven Universe and it’s fandom will always have a special place in my heart, and it will always be a classic that I will return to for comfort and inspiration for decades to come. I am sad that the cartoon renaissance is over, but so many doors have been opened thanks to this show. I am so, so excited to see what this show will inspire in the future, and I hope one day I get the opportunity to be a part of that. 

Goodbye Steven, thank you for everything. I wish you healing, and I wish Rebecca and the team a well-deserved rest. ♥️

-Cynthia D.

#steven universe #steven universe future #steven universe future finale #steven quartz universe #the future #i am my monster #good bye steven universe #thank you steven universe #crystal gems #garnet #amethyst #pearl #bismuth #lapis #peridot #greg universe #connie maheswaran #lion #su #suf #su future #art #artists on tumblr #illustration #tears #lineless

[f1notebook]

Max Verstappen's career

Here you have the little post about Max's career like I promise. For this one we are kind of doing a test, it's a preposition my lovely @babssionate did and I am thinking about it for a while so let's see how it works.

So you have the 5 pages of Max's career on the top, without comments like I always did. Now I am taking some info I want to talk about and so I can do it. Let me know what you think !

So let's start with the first one :

The real interesting thing here is that Max only made a year in single-seater juniors, he never drove in the F2 championship for example. And he went from karting to F3 immediately, not droving in Formula Renault or similar categories.

Max was karting until 2013, it was the year he won the World KZ Championship. That winter he tested various cars, one of them being the F3 car and decided to drive in that category. He didn't win it but he came 3rd, which isn't bad at all. The big surprise comes here, when Red Bull decides to put him in an F1 car at 17 years old, the youngest F1 driver ever.

It could have been a disaster, with only one year in single-seater it was a risky move that most of the drivers couldn't take as normally they need time to learn and to progress. However, Max didn't let anyone indifferent with his drive style (I won't talk about it as I believe @race-week would do it wayyyy better so nicely ask her if she can if she hasn't done it yet)

You can see his precocity on the team he needed to make his way from Torro Roso to Red Bull, help a little bit by Daniil but it's still insane, especially looking at his results and the fact he won his first race with Red Bull but you all know that story.

Another very interesting thing in Max's career is his loyalty to Red Bull and how he always stays with them, 100% of his F1 career has been made with a Red Bull team.

Going now to the stats one ! Let be honest, If you don't follow F1, and you hear something about this Max Verstappen guy and go check his stats, you will think he isn't that good. Of course these stats don't include the 2021 season as it still going and I don't know when I will post this when I do it.

But the truth is, 119 starts over 6 seasons and only 10 wins. However what I highlighted here is something I found very interesting, the difference between the wins and the podiums. Looking at it you can just think he doesn't have what it takes to win, however knowing the sport it's completely normal.

Until now, Max was always in a car that wasn't competitive to win championships, a car that was good in some circuit like Brazil or Austria, but didn't make the difference during all championship.

Another interesting way of looking at it is the podiums, because if we say Max's car wasn't perfect and good enough to win, that means a car was, in this case, Mercedes, they were then, theoretically 1-2, one spot left in the podium, however, Max has a teammate that has the same car as him. So the 42 podiums show how dominant he has been on the team. Of course, this isn't math, is a sport, and Mercedes aren't always on the podium 1-2, but it's stats over 100 races with 42 podiums, so at some podium, the tendency is confirmed when he has 35% of podiums.

There is two more very interesting points on this page, first, something I didn't highlight but I should have, is the point Max has in F1, 1162 from 2015 to 2020, 38% of what he could have (fastest point included since 2019), but one even more important point that isn't here, it that Max very rarely finished outside the points. When he doesn't get points is mostly because he didn't show the checkered flag, interesting no ?

The last one is the number of pole positions, even if Max never had the fastest car on the grid, qualifying was not his biggest strength, he is way better during the race, overtaking than doing a perfect lap. (But again, it's about his driving style).

Moving now to the Championship tracker, the progression from Torro Roso to Red Bull is absolutely insane, but I already spoke about it here. However, I highlighted the positions he finished during his F1 career and how consistent he has been through the years, here again, at least for 2019 and 2020, the theory of the Mercedes is true again.

The last one, and what I believe, one of the most intresting ones. I obviously put a spotlight on the pole position by year, Max had to wait until 2018 for his first pole position, for the record, from 2016 to 2018, Red Bull only had 1 pole position in Monaco 2016.

Now, my favorite part, the number of podiums, for the info, the 2018 and 2019 calendar had 21 races and the 2020 calendar had 17 races.

Knowing that, it means Max was able to score 52,38% of the available podiums in 2018, 47,62% in 2019 and more importantly 64% in 2020. Those numbers are absolutely insane for a driver that wasn't battle for the championship win or wasn't in a car that won the championship constructors'.

Coming to the end of this post, I think we can all agree Max has a great talent, especially look at his career and how he arrived in F1 and stay, doing well and been consistent.

I wanted to add a little note to something that isn't in the graphs but I believe is important to know and remember. When Max arrived in F1, he was involved in a couple of accidents, and that image stayed in the minds of a lot of people, I think is fair to remember Max has progressed and improved a lot since his F1 debut, and he is nearly never involved in an accident, especially been the guilty one. Most of his DNF have been due to engine and mechanics problems. Remember here that Max has only 2 penalty points on his superlicence. (I wrote this a week before Monza, I just edited the 2 that was a 0 before, I decided to let this part as I believe Max improved a lot since he joined F1 and I like to highlight that)

I really hope you enjoy this post, I wanted to thank @babssionate for the idea and remembering her how amazing she is !

I mentioned a sort of post @race-week does about the driving style, I don't know she already did it with Max, if she hasn't you can always ask but please, I beg you, be nice to this sweetheart, ask nicely and remember she has other things to do !

The next one on the list is Sergio ! Hope he will come soon, probably after the next race !

If you have some time please check the links below

If you want to talk about Max' career and this post, send me an ask (anon or not)

My linktree | My Redbubble store | Tell me your opinion on my work (google forms)

#f1 #f1info #drivers career #max verstappen #drivers career f1notebook

[lifeofkaze]

Fields of Gold

Neville Longbottom x Reader

A/N: Emoji ask game round 2 and you picked 🌾 @nevilles-top. Enjoy, my lovely wifey! Fluffier than I thought it would be, but you know… balance and stuff. 🤷‍♀️

Warning: NSFW, 18+ only, oral f receiving, fingering, unprotected sex (be responsible, lovelies!)

EVERYONE IN THIS STORY IS OF LEGAL AGE AND CONSENTING

Word Count: ~ 3.000 (oops)

Your head was spinning from exhaustion. You couldn’t remember how long you had been staring at the documents sprawled out on your desk, trying to force your tired mind to make sense of the words. The project you had been working on for the better part of the week had to be done by Monday and no matter how tempting the sunlight streaming into your workspace from the open windows was, it was no use; you needed to get this done.

Blocking out the sweet chirping of the birds outside in your garden, you were doing your best to concentrate on your work, but found your thoughts straying time and time again to the beautiful summer day outside. There was nothing more you wanted than lounging in the sun, a cool glass of wine in hand.

You were so caught up in your fantasies about white wine so cold it made the glass condensate, that you didn’t notice the door to your office opening. As a result, your heart almost stopped and you jumped in shock as the strong arms of your boyfriend snaked around you from behind.

“Still at work, dear?” Neville muttered into your ear, his nose nuzzling the crook of your neck.

Breathing deeply to calm your shaking hands, you turned around in your chair to give him a mock reprimanding look. “Are you mad scaring me like that?” you asked sternly, the smile on your face betraying your serious tone, however.

Neville just grinned wickedly and looked over your shoulder at the paperwork in front of you. “Doesn’t seem like you made a lot of progress since the last time I checked,” he mused.

“I’m in a bit of a rut,” you admitted.

Neville hummed in response and pulled you off your chair. “You need a break, love, and I know just the thing for you.” He leaned in to kiss you, but you stopped him by putting a hand on his firm chest underneath his white shirt.

“Tempting, but I really need to get this done,” you sighed wistfully.

The pout Neville put on display was enough to weaken any resolve you had and he knew it. “Trust me, you’re going to like what I have in store for you,” he beamed and suddenly you weren’t so sure you had guessed his intentions correctly.

He pulled you away from your desk and tossed you a light sundress he had held hidden behind his back. “Time to change into something comfortable, daisy. We’re going out.”

*

“Nev, where are we going?” you asked for what felt the hundredth time.

After you had changed, Neville had apparated you to the edge of the forest a few miles from where you lived and you had been wandering under the canopy of the trees for some time now. The path in front of you was speckled with the sun breaking through the leaves and the air smelled deliciously of warm earth and wood.

But the curiosity was eating you up from the inside, giving a slight bounce to your step that you couldn’t quite hide. The satisfied smirk of Neville, who was walking beside you calm as ever, drove you insane.

“Not much further, love, you’ll see,” he reassured you as he adjusted the giant wicker basket he was carrying in the crook of his arm.

Putting his words into action, he suddenly diverted from the trail you had been following, stepping into the thicket and vanishing from sight. With a sceptically raised eyebrow, you went after him, careful not to rip your dress on the protruding twigs and branches.

You already had a complaint on your lips when the scrub suddenly cleared and you found yourself at the edge of the forest. The sight before you took your breath away.

The ground before you fell in a gentle slope to form a shallow natural valley. At the bottom of it was a gigantic wheat field, the ripe, yellow ears swaying gently in the breeze. It seemed to go on endlessly, forming a sea of gold under the deep blue sky.

“Do you like the spot?” Neville asked apprehensively at your silence, but you were to busy taking in the beauty of the place. Flashing him a radiant smile, you grabbed his hand and pulled him along beside you to the edge of the field, your excited laughter ringing in the hazy air.

Poppies and cornflowers were blooming between the wheat plants; Neville bent down, picked a poppy flower and tucked the vibrant red petal behind your ear, planting a quick kiss on your lips in the process.

“Time for a snack,” he grinned at you, making your body tingle with excitement at the prospect.

But once, again, you had apparently misjudged him. Neville turned from you and set down his basket; with a flick of his wand, it opened and a red-and-white chequered picnic blanket, an assortment of fresh fruit and a silver bucket containing a huge, deep green bottle of champagne assembled themselves in front of you.

With another wave, the bucket filled itself with sparkling ice cubes and two crystal flutes appeared in Neville’s hands. He bowed teasingly to you, beckoning to sit down on the blanket; you complied all too willingly.

“I told you, you need a break,” he smiled as he pulled you in for another sweet kiss. “I found this place while I was herb gathering; I’ve been dying to show it to you for the whole of last week.”

He just knew you like no one else did; perhaps even better than yourself. As you enjoyed your picnic with your favourite guy, you felt all of the tension the stressful week had brought with it fall from your shoulders.

The fruit Neville had brought was deliciously sweet and although it wasn’t the wine you had fantasised about earlier, the cold champagne tasted even better, cooling your throat with the gentle tingling of its bubbles.

With the sun burning down on you and your head wonderfully light from the alcohol, you lay on your back and sighed contentedly. You felt a drowsiness wash over you and closed your eyes.

Before you could drift off, however, Neville gently nudged you. You opened one eye again and saw him waving your almost empty glass at you.

“Be a good girl and drink up first, will you?” he laughed.

You propped yourself up onto your elbows and quickly emptied the contents of the delicate flute inside your mouth. You had underestimated the amount of champagne still left however, and quite a few drops of it flowed from the corners of your mouth. They slowly trickled down your chin and finally fell onto the exposed skin of your chest.

You giggled at your clumsiness, but the laughter died in your throat as you became aware of Neville’s changed expression. His gaze had followed the way of the droplets, his usually bright green eyes suddenly dark with desire.

All your weariness instantly forgotten at his salacious gaze, you turned on your side, angling your legs in just the right way to accentuate your curves. Your eyes never leaving his, you brought a hand to your chest, slowly dragging the still lingering drops of champagne across your skin in a deliberate motion.

“Oh dear,” you cooed while innocently fluttering your dark eyelashes at him, “look at the mess I made. If only I had something to clean it up.”

Your teasing whine was enough for Neville. Within the blink of an eye he was on top of you, pushing you down on your back and sealing your lips with a searing kiss. His tongue brushed over your lips but to his surprise, you denied him the entrance he wanted.

He broke away from you for a second and it was all you could do not to moan at the lost contact of your lips. But you had something else in mind.

“Wrong place, lover boy,” you purred over the pounding of your heart. “Try again.”

Neville’s swollen lips curled into a wicked smile. You could feel the heat spread from your chest into the rest of your body as he assessed your face with a wild expression in his usually calm and loving eyes; it made you yearn for his touch even more.

“Very well,” he whispered with a gravelly voice that sent a set of shivers down your spine, “you asked for this.”

You fully expected him to kiss you again, maybe trail down over your neck to find the hot skin between your breasts, but Neville did nothing of the sort. Instead, he ran his thump of the wet trail glistening on your chest with a slight pressure, prompting you to arch your back in his direction.

Ignoring your begging, he licked the champagne of his finger, all the while looking directly on your eyes. He looked so forbiddingly sinful, it made you want to scream.

He grabbed your wrists and pulled you up to get you out of the flimsy dress that was clinging to your skin by now. After he had rid himself of his shirt as well, he pushed you back to the ground, not too gently, but still making sure you didn’t hurt yourself.

He bent over to whisper in your ear, his hot breath ghosting over the sensitive spot behind your earlobe. “You think you can tease me, doll? I’ll show you who does the teasing around here.”

Your mouth went dry at his promise and you bit your lip in anticipation of what was to come.

“Close your eyes,” Neville instructed you. You did as you were told, every nerve in your body alert to the maximum. You gave a little jump as you suddenly felt his lips on your bare stomach, just above your bellybutton.

The touch was gone as quickly as it had appeared; you moaned in frustration but still kept your eyes closed, only to be rewarded with another surprising kiss at the base of your breasts. Another moan escaped your lips as Neville’s tongue traced the outlines of your chest, giving each of your erect nipples a teasing flick before disappearing from your body yet again.

You were burning with the need for his touch by now, but Neville took his time. When you didn’t feel his lips anywhere for longer that what you had expected, you started to fidget around, only to be met with a deep chuckle right beside your face.

“Is my girl growing impatient, huh?”

“Please, Nev, touch me,” you mewled, pressing your thighs together to create the friction you so desperately craved.

He gently pulled your legs apart again, however. “Just wait, darling.”

You groaned in frustration as his hands left your body altogether now. Your eyes were still closed, so you couldn’t hear what Neville was doing, but you heard a metallic clank and a rustle of some sort.

Before your mind could place the sounds, Neville came back to you. You could literally see the dirty grin on his face in front of your inner eye, as he kissed your jawline. His breath trailed down over your neck to your collarbone, where he placed another kiss; he continued that way downwards, his breath ghosting over your skin, only the occasional kiss on the places he knew you were especially sensitive at.

You sighed in relief as you felt his teeth pulling on the fabric of your positively soaked panties, eagerly lifting your hips up to let him pull them off you.

He placed lingering kiss on the inside of your thigh and you wiggled in anticipation of his skilled tongue where you needed it most. But instead, an audible gasp escaped you, as something smooth and almost painfully cold glided over the same spot Neville had just kissed.

Now you knew what the sounds from earlier had been; Neville had equipped himself with some of the ice cubes from the champagne bucket.

“You like that, doll?” he muttered against your thigh, the stubble on his cheeks deliciously scratching the sensitive skin.

The only thing you could manage was a feeble nod and another whimper that quickly turned into a breathy moan as you finally felt the tip of Neville’s tongue on your aching clit.

Good God, this man knew what he was doing; you buried one hand in his hair while the other went to your own head in the desperate need to hold onto something as Neville kitten licked your dripping folds up and down.

The coiled tension in your stomach quickly built up as he continued to lap at you, while he ran another ice cube down the insides of your thighs with the other. The mixture of the heat under your skin and the icy droplets running down your sensitive flesh were enough to drive you insane.

When the ice had melted away, your head started spinning as Neville shifted his head slightly and plunged two of his fingers into you, pumping in and out of you at a steady rhythm that made your hips buck against him. You put one of your feet onto his shoulders to give him better access and had to stifle a cry as he hooked his fingers upward to massage your sweet spot.

It didn’t take long for the knot inside you to burst into a wave of pleasure that took your breath away. Your legs were shaking against Neville’s touch as you relished the high he gave you. You covered your eyes with your hand as stars erupted behind your closed eyelids, painted red from the sun burning down on you.

As you slowly opened them again, you were met with a self-satisfied grin on Neville’s face. His chin was glistening and he casually wiped the traces of you off it with the back of hand; his gaze on you was positively scorching.

“You don’t think we’re done here, do you, flower?” he growled, as he quickly rid himself of the little clothing he had left on his body. “You look way too delicious, being totally wrecked like that by me.”

The combination of his authoritative voice and the hard cock in his hand was enough to replace any drowsiness you felt from your orgasm with the urgent desire to have him filling you up right here and now.

Still sensitive from your last high, you shuddered at the sweet pain as Neville leaned over you, teasingly circling your entrance with the tip of his cock.

“Are you ready for me, doll? Want to make me feel good?”

You wrapped your legs around him and pulled him closer for an answer; you were too breathless for any coherent words anyway.

A groan escaped Neville’s lips and his eyes fluttered close for a moment as he entered you and waited for you to adjust to him.

He started slowly rocking into you, his broad back blocking out the blinding rays of the sun. You quickly found a rhythm that suited you both; it wasn’t as fast and relentless as usual, rather slow and deliberate, but every thrust of Neville’s hips was strong and deep, shaking you to the core.

Your senses were reduced to your laboured breaths, only mixed with moans of pleasure and the feeling of his heated skin under your fingers as you dug your nails into his bare shoulders for support. The world around you started spinning as you felt your next high approach, a whirl of colours of golden wheat and blue sky.

It wouldn’t take you much longer to cum a second time and you clung your legs tighter around Neville, burying your face in the crook of his neck. Without another warning, the coil inside you snapped, flooding you with sweet agony as you trembled in his arms. You weren’t able to form any thoughts anymore, the only thing falling from your lips was Neville’s name over and over again.

The desperate sounds you made and the sensation of your muscles tightening around his cock proved to be too much for Neville as well. With a deep growl, he gripped your arm so hard it almost hurt as his own orgasm shook him; you felt his hips buck against yours as he rode out his high to the maximum.

When your eyes met again, the fire that darkened them before had died down and was replaced by a look of pure adoration and love.

Neither of you spoke for a moment; the way Neville’s lips lingered on yours as he bent down to kiss you lovingly spoke for itself.

He got off you after yet another gentle kiss, falling on his back with an exhausted but content sigh. You snuggled up to him, relishing in the feeling of ultimate closeness you shared.

The two of you lay there for a long time, watching the clouds float in the sky above you until it started turning red, the light of the setting sun igniting the sky into an explosion of orange, pink and red above the golden fields surrounding you.

You were on the verge of falling asleep in Neville’s arm when a sudden thought hit you; you jerked upright. “I got it!” you exclaimed in excitement while Neville raised a wondering eyebrow at you, “I finally know how to finish my project!”

The low chuckle he gave you as he pulled you down to him again filled you with the same explosion of butterflies that had never quite left you ever since you had met him.

“That’s good to hear,” he murmured against your hair. “I knew you just needed a proper break.”

#neville longbottom smut

[icedflames]

Can you possibly lay out the reasons why Lucien isn’t a viable option for Elain based on the text? I feel like there are some people that just don’t understand. I’m not trying to be mean, I’m asking because I know you’ll answer respectfully.

Hmm, I don’t think Lucien and Elain would be a bad couple... But I agree, I just don’t think it’s a viable option at this point. 

I think there’s really two reasons: (1) the way Elain and Lucien have been written up until this point and (2) the timing and structure of the last two books.

Elain and Lucien’s Relationship

Lucien is part of Elain’s trauma.

From the shadows near a side door, two figures emerged. I began shaking my head as if I could unsee it as Lucien and Tamlin stepped into the light. (ACOMAF, Chp. 63)

While Lucien does not anticipate that the sisters would be kidnapped, he still participated in Elain’s trauma and Elain is highly aware of that. 

But Elain blinked slowly. “You were in Hybern.” 

“Yes.” It was all he could say. 

“You betrayed us.” (ACOWAR, Chp. 24)

Back to the cauldron scene...

Elain’s foot hit the water, and she screamed—screamed in terror that hit me so deep I began sobbing. “Please,” I said to none of them. (ACOMAF, Chp. 65)

&

And Elain, as if she’d been thrown by a wave, washed onto the stones facedown. Her legs were so pale—so delicate. I couldn’t remember the last time I’d seen them bare. (ACOMAF, Chp. 65)

&

Elain was still shivering on the wet stones, her nightgown shoved up to her thighs, her small breasts fully visible beneath the soaked fabric. Guards snickered. (ACOMAF, Chp. 65)

Elain is the first to go into the Cauldron. Nobody knew if she would live. She’s kicking the cauldron, screaming, and it’s awful all around. She’s laid bare, completely stripping her of her own modesty. Her own sister can’t remember the last time she had seen her sister’s bare legs. The guards are laughing at her nudity. It’s so humiliating and traumatizing. 

Not only that, but Elain is unwillingly stripped of humanity.

Then Lucien comes into the picture. 

As Lucien took off his jacket, kneeling before Elain. She cringed away from the coat, from him. (ACOMAF, Chp. 65)

&

Lucien’s hands slackened at his sides. His voice broke as he whispered to Elain, “You’re my mate.” (ACOMAF, Chp. 65)

Lucien does not have ill intent, but he laid a claim on her. Not only is Elain not human now, but now she has a mate. A stranger she has never met is now bonded to her forever. 

She has been stripped of her choice to stay human, her choice to choose who she wants to be with.

Lucien’s involvement in that trauma makes it very difficult for the two of them to overcome that. Possible, but difficult. I believe that if SJM wanted to go that route, it would have been sweet and believable.. But then we get the rest of ACOWAR, ACOFAS, and ACOSF...

In ACOWAR, Elain and Lucien have very little progression in their relationship. 

Lucien could not figure out what was wrong with Elain. 

He weighed my tone, and crossed his arms. “Let me do something. About Elain. I heard—from my room. Everything that happened just now. It wouldn’t hurt to have a healer look her over. Externally and internally.”

I was tired enough that I could barely summon the breath to ask, “Do you think the Cauldron made her insane?”

“I think she went through something terrible,” Lucien countered carefully. “And it wouldn’t hurt to have your best healer do a thorough examination.” (ACOWAR, Chp. 27)

Elain was... not herself after the Cauldron. She was withdrawn and depressed. Saying nonsensical things. 

The ancient healer jerked her chin toward Lucien. “See what he can do. If anyone can sense if something is amiss, it’s a mate.” (ACOWAR Chp. 28)

&

“Lucien murmured to me, eye still fixed on Elain, “Should we—does she need …?”

“She doesn’t need anything,” Azriel answered without so much as looking at Lucien.

Elain was staring at the spymaster now—unblinkingly.

“We’re the ones who need …” Azriel trailed off. “A seer,” he said, more to himself than us. “The Cauldron made you a seer.” (ACOWAR Chp. 32)

This scene is telling. Majda says, if anybody can sense something is amiss, it’s a mate. Yet Lucien is not the one who makes the seer revelation - it’s Azriel. 

Lucien and Elain have never really... fit. It feels forced and there is a clear lack of progression:

Lucien just stared and stared at my sister, as if he’d never seen her before. (ACOWAR, Chp. 33)

She had chosen him. Elain had been … thrown at him. (ACOWAR, Chp. 24)

Lucien shrugged. “First—here. To help. Then …” Another glance at Elain. “Who knows?” I nudged Elain, who blinked at me, then blurted, “You could come to Velaris.” (ACOWAR Chp. 79)

Elain, at least, would be too polite to send Lucien away when he wanted to help. She was too polite to send him away on a normal day. She just ignored him or barely spoke to him until he got the hint and left. As far as I knew, he hadn’t come within touching distance since the aftermath of that final battle. (ACOFAS Chp. 5)

How Lucien withstood it, I didn’t know. Not that he’d shown any interest in bridging that gap between them. (ACOFAS, Chp. 5)

“But remember that they were engaged. Give her time to accept it.” “To accept a life shackled to me?” My nostrils flared. “That’s not what I meant.” “She wants nothing to do with me.” (ACOFAS, Chp. 18)

“I don’t think she’ll tolerate two minutes alone with me, so forget about two weeks.” His jaw worked as he studied the fire. (ACOFAS, Chp. 18)

“He brought you a present.” Those doe-brown eyes turned toward me. Sharper than I’d ever seen them. “And that entitles him to my time, my affections?”

“No.” I blinked. “But he is a good male.” Despite our harsh words. Despite this Band of Exiles bullshit. “He cares for you.” “He doesn’t know me.” “You don’t give him the chance to even try to do so.” Her mouth tightened, the only sign of anger in her graceful countenance. “I don’t want a mate. I don’t want a male.” (ACOFAS, Chp. 18)

I handed Elain the small box with her name on it. Her smile faded as she opened it. “Enchanted gloves,” she read from the card. “That won’t tear or become too sweaty while gardening.” She set aside the box without looking at it for longer than a moment.” (ACOFAS, Chp. 21)

And then we get into ACOSF where:

“I am not always in this city to see my mate.” The last two words dripped with discomfort. (ACOSF, Chp. 41)

Her brown eyes were wary. Usually, that look was reserved for Lucien. (ACOSF, Chp. 58)

Elain, the wretch, had taken the seat between Feyre and Varian, about as far from Lucien as she could get. Azriel remained in the doorway. (ACOSF, Chp. 58)

Cassian’s heart strained at the pain etching deep into Lucien’s face as he tried to hide his disappointment and longing. Elain only shrank further into herself, no trace of that newfound boldness to be seen. (ACOSF, Chp. 58)

I really believe... That if Elain and Lucien were going to happen, we would have had some positive progression by this point in the series. Which leads me to my next point...

Elain’s Book is Next

Please see my post on that here! @psychee92 also wrote a great post on that here.

Because Elain’s book is next, this really leaves us with two options for Elain:

Elain accepts the bond

Elain rejects the bond

Elain’s bond is a central issue for her. It makes her uncomfortable and it’s a part of her trauma. Her book will involve a plotline surrounding it. Whether she accepts the bond or not. Whether she chooses Lucien or Azriel. The mating bond is important for Elain’s storyline.

Currently, Elain and Lucien cannot stand to be in the same room as each other. Elain shrinks away from him. I really think that if SJM wanted to go with Elain and Lucien as endgame, we would have some hint that there may be something there. 

If anything, Elain and Lucien are further apart than ever before, despite the bond tying them together. With Elain’s book being next, it’s difficult to picture a satisfying romantic arc between the two of them. It’s going to take a lot to bridge the gap between them and 800 pages is, quite frankly, not enough (especially because SJM has moved into adult book territory and wants to get on with the smut). 

And that’s why I think Elain and Lucien are not a viable option at this point in the series. 

#This wound up being so LONG #asks #elain #lucien #lucien vanserra #elriel #pro elriel #mine

[imonthinice]

The Criminal Psychology Majors, Jason Todd x Fem!Reader Part 19/?

Word Count: 4.1k

Author’s Note:

Warnings: Mentions of the court system, fighting, swearing, no beta bitch we die like Jason Todd

 Part 1) (Part 2) (Part 3) (Part 4) (Part 5) (Part 6) (Part 7) (Part 8) (Part 9) (Part 10) (Part 11) (Part 12) (Part 13) (Part 14) (Part 15) (Part 16) (Part 17) (Part 18) (Part 19) (Part 20)

Time Skip lol, February, next year. Finals.

She and Jason had been together for 6 months around February. When finals started coming up. The distance and tension between the two was fucking palpable. They hadn't fought or anything, but the stress between them had caused a slight riff. They just had space to focus on their studies.

They would see each other at work. She was his secretary. Everyone, all their friends, even their families, swore they just needed to bone. Which, considering they both heard about this from Bruce first, didn't mean they wanted to do it.

If you had asked Y/N, she would have said she wasn't dressing for Jason. But that was a lie. She was tempted to go with the advice everyone was giving them, especially before they went into their first finals exam. She walked into his office.

"What are you doing?" he asked.

"Well, I'm your secretary. Seeing if you need anything."

"I don't."

She turned to walk out.

"That doesn't mean you can walk out."

She smiled to herself, "Alright." She sat on the chair in front of his desk, "I won't walk out."

"Mhm."

She frowned, he didn't even look up from his computer. "What do you want me here for, Jay?"

"Close the blinds on all my windows, baby."

"It'll become dark."

"Good."

"Your eyes will fry from the light of your computer."

"Trust me, they won't."

"Uh-huh," she doubted as she closed the blinds.

Jason walked up behind her and wrapped his arms around her waist, resting his head in the crook of her shoulder. She smiled and leaned her head on his.

"Exams fucking suck," Jason said.

"Couldn't have guessed from the riff in our relationship, really? You don't say?" she sarcastically retorted.

"It's not like we had it easy this entire time, either."

"Fuck you don't say? At least my attacker was admitted to Arkham and my friends got out."

"Can't catch a break," he paused because his buzzer went, "Can't catch a fucking break!" he exclaimed, exasperated. He went and answered it, "Jason Todd, who's using Y/N (Last Name)'s buzzer," he said, sounding annoyed.

"Hey, it's Dick. You two aren't fucking right, B will be pissed."

"Shut up. We aren't. What do you want."

"Someone's pissed. I need paperwork."

"Come and get it."

She crossed her arms and laughed when Dick entered the room. She slightly waved. He slightly waved back.

"You know, you two should bone. But not here," Dick joked. He walked over to one of the many, many filing cabinets to search for the paperwork he needed.

"You're really just riding the wave into Jason running you down, aren't you?" Y/N said.

"Well, we're always up for sparring."

"It probably won't be sparring, Dick. You know your brother. He's staring daggers into the back of your head."

"For Valentine's, I'll be giving Barbara the stress of taking care of me after Jason beats me to a pulp."

"At least you'll get one last Gala?" she joked.

"Will you be coming?"

"She will," Jason said.

"Amazing. Don't fuck on the dance floor," Dick joked.

"Fuck you."

"Love you too, Jase," he turned to walk out, "Love you too, Y/N."

"I'll be sure to tell you I love you at your funeral, Dick," she joked as he walked out. She paused before turning to Jason, "Gala?"

"Come, please," he said before going to hug her. "I miss you."

"You see me every day, Love."

"But we haven't been," he paused, "Well, a couple. In weeks. I miss you. The fun one who got me to run down the streets of Gotham on a skateboard."

"Dress code?"

"White tie."

"Dammnit. Guess I'm shopping."

"I'll give you my debit card?"

"I don't need it, baby. However," she joked, "I sure will take it."

He laughed and forked it over to her, "Don't spend my Ph.D. funds."

"I will gladly spend your Ph.D. funds."

"No," he laughed, "Please, I need those."

"I mean if you insist I spend it all," she said, laughing.

"The Gala's later tonight, you can take the rest of the day off."

"Kind of you to do."

"I know, I'm a gentleman."

"Truly," she kissed him. "I'll see you tonight."

"Can I come to get you?"

"Feel free too."

"Alright. I love you."

"I love you," she said before she left the office.

Getting into her car, she fumbled with the mirror a bit. She looked like a mom. The bags under her eyes and the formal get-up for an office job did her in.

They had said "I love you" for the first time around Christmas. She wished she caught the moment where they were fucking around and she just said it.

The Christmas lights surrounded them, hung in the trees. They had gone to see the New York City tree in Times Square. He was setting up a photo to take of the two of them and she just said it.

She could have sworn his fucking eyes lit up with green. Like they glowed.

Reminiscing on those small moments with Jason was something that would make her smile without fail. That man somehow unlocked a new set of feelings, stronger feelings. She was in touch with herself.

She went to her house first, to see how A/N was doing. To see her on the steps. She pulled into the driveway.

"Hey, you good?"

"Huh? Oh! Yeah, of course. Why?"

"I have to go get a dress for a Wayne Gala trademark, do you want to come to help me?"

"Of course I do!"

---------------------

"I guess you could say we didn't narrow shit down about a dress," Y/N joked as she came out in the 16th dress she had tried on.

"Okay, well, that one is the best so far," A/N said, seeming like they finally made progress.

"Wow, this is news, we've narrowed it down."

"Honestly consider it a miracle. Thank God Jason let you go from work early. Are you getting a full day's pay?" A/N asked.

"Probably. I told Bruce I didn't want a full day's pay if I wasn't there, but Bruce said it was in my contract. I think he's just being generous," Y/N said with a sigh.

"Did you not read your contract?"

"I did! That's why I think he's being generous. I don't think I'd forget something like that."

"Watch you did forget those words. You should ask him to see your contract, if he's disobeying it then the board members are probably at his ass about it," A/N explained.

"God, please no. I would hate being a contention point for the board members."

"They probably want you fired. And they're probably mad that you won't be fired because you're with Jason."

"Well, I'm also just a great secretary"

"See, each time you say that I assume it's because you give him a little something-something under his desk every day."

"I'll have you know we've never had sex in that office."

"Did you have sex in another office?" A/N questioned.

"I'm pleading the 5th to any further questioning."

"Wait, oh my god."

"Nope! Going to go try on another dress and ignore you now!" Y/N exclaimed with a joking tone.

"This one's the best," A/N said.

"We're making progress! I'm thinking if I go with this one, I add gloves."

"God, are you trying to give Jason a hard-on?"A/N joked.

"I would like to plead the 5th to any further questioning on the matter," Y/N retorted.

"You're evil. If you're going to be evil, you might as well wear a suit."

"I wish. After all the shit I've been through, I want to stick it to the fucks who keep judging me. I'm already so jeopardized, though. Jason goes through a lot of shit dating me. I'll wear the dress."

"Old white people are old white people."

"Well, Bruce is nice at least. If he's judgemental, at least I don't hear about it on the news," Y/N said and twirled. "Yeah, this one. I like this one."

"I also like that one. There's something about silk. Always gets someone to look like 50 million dollars. Probably worth that too."

Y/N fumbled with the tag, "It's not pure silk, so it's less. Only 1000$."

"Only 1000$? God, that's like our rent."

"Rent is more."

"Well if we weren't in a house it would be the same. That's insane. That's like 3-4 months of groceries."

"I know it's a lot to us commonfolk, but Jason is rich. He wouldn't mind. We might, but he wouldn't."

"Yeah, but do you feel okay with spending that much of his money?"

"I have no idea. We'll see. I'll go try another dress on."

"This is cute," Y/N said.

"Well of course it is, it's probably worth your college scholarship, though."

"God, don't remind me of prices."

"It's hard to forget prices when we're given a lot of money to spend."

"We can't spend all of it!"

"What's he using it for?" A/N asked in a half-joke.

"He's getting a Ph.D. in Criminal Psychology when we graduate."

"Okay, okay. So he needs it."

"Yeah, he doesn't let Bruce pay his bills, remember. He's making his own money, minus the working-for-his-dad part."

"Yeah, the working for Bruce part seems a bit counterintuitive."

"If he's getting paid, it doesn't matter to him."

"What's it even like working with his family? Especially with the tension between you and Jason?"

"It sucks. Jason and I haven't fought, yet. We have to act like we aren't fighting. Which makes everyone think we are fighting. Which makes both of us mad. Because apparently," she paused, "The way to fix fighting is having sex, apparently."

"So have sex?"

"Shut up."

"Family on your nerves?" A/N asked.

"They're so involved, but I love them all. I just wish we had a moment alone, I know it's hard to do in a fucking office, but still."

"Go try on another dress. Show up looking like a million bucks."

"You are simply so right."

"I feel like this is the mature version of the black sparkly spaghetti straps one," A/N said.

"It's like you mashed a bunch of words together and suddenly I have to sell you my first-born son."

"Well, it's true!" She laughed, "It's a grown-up version, what someone, old white people, would expect of you."

"Old white people expect a lot."

"Jason's going to be one, one day," A/N joked.

"He's got not-white features," Y/N said, trying to picture his face. There was something about him. Something not-white. She had always picked up on it, but she could never tell what it was.

"Well, it's not like you can ask his mom her ethnicity."

"Jeez, that would be so rude of me to do. Let's just say it's... it's not my place."

"He's got secrets?" A/N questioned.

"Tall, handsome, mysterious. That's my Jason."

"A little bit of everything, all of the time," A/N said in a sing-song tune, specifically the "Welcome to the Internet" tune.

"Don't quote Bo Burnham to me, that album broke me," Y/N joked

"Who didn't it break? Oh, wait, probably Jason."

"He probably sobbed like a baby at it, I don't know where you got the "Emotionless" trope from, A/N."

"Can you blame me? He's a Wayne."

"Those are some of the most emotionally connected people I know? Like, genuinely, they're probably more in touch with themselves than you and I."

"Well, they don't exactly have the reputation for being able to discern their emotions, you know."

"You need to stop interacting with tabloids and their articles," Y/N said, seeming exasperated with the tabloids and the line of conversation. But that was nothing new. She hated the press, the articles, the paparazzi. She hated them all.

"Yeah, probably. You hate them for a reason."

"Do you not know about that time they made it so we couldn't get into our car?" Y/N asked.

"You did, you did."

"Fuckin' tabloids."

"Go try on another dress before you explode from rage."

"Valid," Y/N said, laughing.

"God, if only this wasn't a white tie event," Y/N said and sighed.

"I mean, you could just wear it."

"I will get my ass handed to me, however," she said, taking a picture, "Maybe Jason will just let me get it if I pay him back?"

"You don't have the money right now?" A/N asked.

"I need to get paid and I'll have enough," Y/N explained.

"Don't tell me this is worth more than our rent."

"I will just simply not tell you."

"Girl, you can't."

"Money is dumb and I hate it."

A/N laughed, "Which one do you want to go with?"

"Uh, probably the silk one."

"Temptress."

"I will literally buy and wear a corset to make Jason's life hard to get you off my back," Y/N laughed.

"I implore you to do so for the joke."

"Shut up," Y/N joked.

She still sent the picture of the last dress to Jason off-handedly. Asked him how he felt about it since she knew she loved it.

Why don't you just get it? He had sent back.

Can't afford it.

I can.

Please let me pay you back for this.

Just take me on a date.

I can do that.

You should.

I'll see you soon.

She laughed and grabbed both dresses.

"Jason's buying both?" A/N asked.

"Mhm! I have to take him on a fun date in return."

"You were probably going to do it both ways, honestly."

"You just know me so well."

-----------------------

They had gone and gotten the gloves before heading back to their house. Laughing and blasting rock songs the entire time. There was something about the bass running through the car and having the windows rolled down while screaming the songs. It was insane.

One of the songs they blasted was "I Think I'm OKAY" by Machine Gun Kelly and YUNGBLUD, switching out the vocals. It was fun to take breaks like that and, just enjoy each other's presence. Especially during finals season, where both of them were stressed because of their respective finals.

Everyone was stressed. Finals did that to everyone. Whether someone was in school or not, they felt the teenagers and college students lose their minds about it.

They got out of the car at their home and took the dresses inside. A/N went to go study in her room while Y/N went to go hang up her dresses. She entered her room and instantly remembered why she hated her laptop.

The laptop fan was deafening, it's why she barely had Jason over at her house anymore. She cleaned it constantly but, it kept going and going.

She brought it to the Wayne Manor over the Winter Break because she had work to do but wanted to see Jason, and everyone, everyone, commented on the thing.

They compared it to a screaming goat, an electronic mess, a horse-powered fan, anything they could put together with electronic, goat and fan, they called the laptop that.

Bruce even offered to buy her a new one, but she declined. She didn't think it was broken, so it didn't need to be replaced or fixed. If it was still in working condition, she was going to use it until it bluescreened on her.

Much to everyone's dismay.

She hated the fucking thing. So if she could drown it out with music, you bet your ass she did. She was grateful that her parents had sent it to her, but she assumed it was because they hated it too. She was right. No one liked that laptop.

She went to go shower. She figured if she fucked with her appearance and hair a bit, then the press would get off her back. She hadn't exactly tried to impress them thus far. But she wanted to just live her life.

She figured doing her hair, makeup, wearing the right clothes, she'd get harassed less. There was a lot of pressure dating a Wayne, she had realized.

She was constantly in the media, somehow she became an idol for little girls in the span of months. It was a lot for someone to take on. She embraced it normally. With open arms normally.

But A/N had told her that she started sleep-talking. Screaming about the eyes, the people watching her. She knew it was probably connected to the stress she was under dating Jason, but she really didn't want to deal with it.

If she ignored it, no one could tell her to deal with it. If she hid it, no one had to see it. She was looking into soundproofing her room so that A/N didn't have to see it.

Was it healthy to do that? Probably not. Probably far from the concept of healthy coping mechanisms.

She got out of the shower and started playing with her appearance. If she ended up with loud makeup and hair after this, she was going to just accept it.

She did end up with pretty loud eyeshadow. But her hair was fine, as acceptable as it could get for everyone judging her. Only nude lipstick that was just two, maybe three shades darker than her skin was what she needed. She kind of overdid the eyeshadow, so it had to be balanced.

Nerves by Icon for Hire was playing in her room. And in a way, that was how she felt. There was a lot of feeling in her, that she wasn't made for the life she was starting to lead. That being an idol was how she was going, but she couldn't do it.

She sighed and put on heels. White heels. It would be easier to put them on before the dress and gloves. The corset came on next. IT wasn't anything special, and she was capable of putting it on without help.

But then the dress.

"She loved that dress, but it wasn't the other one. The other one sparked a little bit of joy in her, while this one just conformed to everyone's opinions of her.

She wanted to wear the other one, so, so, fucking badly.

And finally the gloves. It was an outfit she thought was cute but would be torn to shreds in the media. She knew that.

The media liked to eat her alive.

Part of her wanted a break from it all. The other part wanted to do an interview with the press, to shit-talk all of them and make them weep. She wanted to be the one to destroy them.

Revenge was best served cold though, and the rage was far too hot in her head to even begin a proper essay on why they sucked.

She turned off the music in her room and was greeted with the lovely sounds of her computer fan. Comforting, but hatred.

Jason was going to be there any minute. Was she even ready for a Gala?

They had been through so much.

---------------------------------

She walked to his car. He brought one of the fancy ones.

"You couldn't just like, own a not expensive car?" she joked.

"Why would I do that?"

She laughed and handed him his debit card, "I don't know, to keep the press off your ass?"

"I think they'd find us no matter what," he said as he backed out of her driveway, "You look beautiful by the way."

"Thank you, Love. You're as handsome as always."

"Simp."

"Alas, I admit it," she joked as she turned on the radio. "I swear the media is going to have a field day today."

"When do they not?"

"That's fair."

"I'm sorry this school year's been fucking our relationship," he sighed, "We deserve better and a better chance than what we've been dealt."

"Unfortunately that's how school works."

"Fuck school sometimes. Not everyone gets as hit as badly as us."

"It's the psychology teachers. If any teachers are strict, they are."

"We still deserve a break."

"Well, there's always when finals are over."

"I swear we're doing something nice when finals end."

"That's not that hard to do."

The tension in that car was palpable. Truly, you could cut that with a knife. A diamond's edge.

They got to the Gala before anyone, except the Waynes.

"Hey lot," Y/N said.

"Y/N! Glad you could make it!" Stephanie said and pulled her into a hug, "The guys suck, so I like you the most today."

She laughed, "What did they do?"

"They won't play rooftop tag with me."

"Why do you even play that game?" Y/N asked.

"Agility! I'm a track star, duh. I drag them with me."

"Ah, how could I be so foolish," she laughed as Stephanie pulled her towards the other girls. Y/N waved at the boys while laughing. "You do know I have a boyfriend who wants to see me, right?"

"It's Jason."

"Good observation."

"Shut up. I claim you."

"You can't claim me!" she jokingly exclaimed, loud enough for the boys to hear.

"Steph, that's my girlfriend!" Jason yelled back.

"Not anymore!" She yelled as she pulled Y/N into the building.

"Explanation?" Y/N asked, "Do you have an issue or something?"

"I don't. Babs does."

"Go on?"

"Ask her."

Y/N sighed and walked up to Barbara and Cassandra, "I heard you have an issue or something?"

"Yes! You! Okay so," Barbara said, "We're all worried about you and Jason."

"Oh, Jeez," Y/N sighed.

"No no, listen. We can feel the tension. Have you been fighting?"

"I told you before, we aren't."

"Then what is it? 'Cause I'm known for being a detective, hello, I'm Jim Gordon's daughter. And even I can't figure it out."

"Probably exams. Exams suck."

"Oh! It's because you're not used to the fame," Cassandra said.

"Okay, Cassie. Listen, it's-"

"It is isn't it!" Stephanie exclaimed.

"Ugh. Yes. Are you happy now?"

"C'mon, it isn't that bad is it?" Barbara asked.

"It is. They've been at my throat with daggers ever since I met Jason."

"Who's been at your throat with daggers?" Jason asked.

"Don't worry about it," Y/N said before anyone could open their mouths and say to the contrary.

"Well, then. Everyone should be here soon," Bruce said. "Wish we had entertainment this time."

"Can't Y/N sing?" Tim asked.

"Uh, yeah?" Y/N said.

"So sing," Tim said.

"Tim. C'mon. Don't do me like this, man."

"Think about it," Bruce said and put a hand on her shoulder, "It could be fun."

She laughed and everyone scattered except her and Jason.

"So, the daggers comment?" he asked.

"Media reference."

He sighed, "You can always step out of the spotlight, my love. Step down, walk away from their eyes but still be in mine."

"I'll think about it."

He took her hands, "You should think quicker," he joked.

She laughed and he pulled her into the ballroom she knew all-too-well at this point. The first time she was there ran through her mind like no one was watching, the beauty in her memory for capturing it like that.

She knew once the pictures were released she'd probably attempt to paint it.

Galas were stuffy and full of people. She didn't like the people aspect. When strangers would come up to her and start talking, she'd get freaked out. They knew her, but she didn't know them.

She wasn't involved in getting to know people high-up in the world. She was a simple secretary who was dating one of the CEOs.

She'd get twirled around by people's sons. Stuck in dances and conversations. She almost always found herself with one of the Waynes after she ran from someone she didn't know.

She did figure if she sang she'd get away from everyone. So, in a fit of trying to get away, she found her way to Selina.

"Hey!" she said.

"Y/N! Are you running again?"

"Yes ma'am."

"Do you want to sing or something, Bruce said he asked you to."

"He did, and I figured, "Fuck it" so here I am."

Jason came up just as she said that, "Duet?" he asked.

"Now that's an idea and a half."

"You kids, always doing crazy stuff," Selina joked, "Le me see what I can do for 'ya."

"We're really doing this?" Jason asked as Selina slinked off.

"I guess so!" she exclaimed and he pulled her in for a kiss.

"Really saying "Fuck you" to the press today, huh?"

"Well, they're always saying "Fuck you" to me."

#jason todd #jason todd x reader #jason todd x fem!reader #jason todd x y/n #jason todd x you #jason todd fluff #red hood #red hood x reader #red hood x fem!reader #red hood x y/n #red hood x you #red hood fluff #dcu #dceu #dc #nightwing #batfam #batfamily #batbros #batman #batgirl #oracle #barbara gordon #alfred pennyworth #stephanie brown #cassandra wayne #cassandra cain #damien wayne #tim drake #red robin

[btsmosphere]

Crossfire | KTH

Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 | Part 4 | Part 5 | Part 6 | Part 7 | Part 8

Moodboard Masterlist

~summary: The night your life blew up sent you on a collision course with the campus bad boy, Kim Taehyung. Though you were well aware of his reputation, it was his doorstep you ran to when you were bleeding with nowhere to go.

~word count: 5k

~gang!au, mafia!au, college!au, angst, fluff, action, strangers to lovers, friends to lovers

Warnings: swearing, mentions of cheating (warnings apply to each part individually, please read them)

~a/n: this week our gal gets some shit done and comes to a realisation due to Yoongi... also I am once again thanking everyone for supporting this story💜💜love you all,, n for those of you who haven’t heard I’m going to be posting a spooktober story soon so stay tuned...

“I want to help.”

Tae paused in the doorway, a steaming plate in each hand, staring at you with a dumbfounded expression.

“Huh?”

“I want to do something to help, you know, with the plan,” you eagerly pressed on.

“Oh,” Taehyung nodded, but a pout remained on his face as he kicked the door shut gently behind him, “the plan with Shinhyuk?”

“Yep.”

Nervously eyeing him as he shifted onto the bed, you waited for him to speak. Instead, he just passed you one of the plates and began to tuck in.

“Taehyung?”

“Mmm,” he hummed indistinctly, looking up at you, cheeks full of food.

“So… can I help?”

For just a moment, his bewildered stare  was all that greeted you and his chewing slowed.

“Mmhmm,” he nodded, as if it was obvious.

“Oh. Okay.”

Admittedly, you hadn’t expected it to be that easy. As you began to eat yourself, Taehyung quickly went back to devouring his own meal without a second thought.

For once, the two of you were inside together during the day as it was the weekend and he wasn’t required for anything except a meeting, which was happening at his place anyway. With him here, you didn’t really need anything else to pass the time, but he had still vowed to bring you some more books soon, given that you had worked your way through the first pile completely now.

After last night, and if you were honest with yourself, even before that, any worry about being around Taehyung had faded away. Not only could you easily pass the time chatting, you very much enjoyed your time with him.

However, once you had both finished your food, it wasn’t long before there was a knock on the door announcing the arrival of the boys and the start of the meeting.

Only four had come as Jimin and Yoongi were out, doing ‘something’. You didn’t ask for details.

Taking the seat furthest from the window, hopefully hidden by Taehyung who sat beside you, you simply stayed quiet for most of the conversation. They didn’t need your input anyway; the plan sounded like it was progressing as well as it could be.

First of all, Jungkook and Namjoon confirmed the first members of Shinhyuk’s group they had managed to pick off, including the leader of a base inside his territory, though the rest were low-level: drivers, informants, dealers, fighters. Not enough to make his gang disappear by any stretch.

Not yet anyway, as Namjoon kept saying in encouragement.

As they resolved to keep digging through rival members, the real challenge was finding an in within Shinhyuk’s immediate circle – the ones who apparently were mainly stationed at what used to be your house.

“All I have is names,” Jungkook sighed, “even though I’m one of them, no one reveals anything about themselves.”

“Even the names might be fake,” Jin reminded him.

“I know,” Jungkook jammed his hands through his hair, “and there’s one – Jintao – he really doesn’t trust me. Makes it difficult for me to do anything. Always has his eyes on me.”

“Y/N can help,” Taehyung cut in then, causing four heads to turn sharply in your direction. You refused to squirm under their glares.

“Tae…” Jin was the first to speak, “it’s dangerous. I’ve been staking out Shin’s clubs and I’ve almost been caught so many times trying to talk to people-“

“She doesn’t have to go out on missions,” Tae reasoned, “a lot of snooping can be done from inside, and since she doesn’t have much else to do…”

“We have access to hackers, Tae,” Namjoon dismissed.

Biting your lip, you looked down. Since Tae had accepted your request to help so easily, you weren’t exactly prepared for this analysis. Perhaps it was stupid to think you would be able to assist these boys.

“She’s just as much a part of this as we are,” Taehyung surprised you with the ferocity in his voice, “she’ll be able to help. And I’ll let her even if you guys don’t.”

Namjoon in particular looked shocked by the younger boy’s unwavering words, but you watched in relief as he gave his assent with a nod, the others raising no further argument.

“What raids are coming up, Jungkook?” Hoseok brought the meeting back on track, prompting Jungkook to relay all the dates Shinhyuk had deals or attacks planned.

You listened as the boys decided which to focus on, though again they were frustrated by their lack of progress. Until Jungkook felt safe again, they weren’t going to counter any attacks, but they could make sure no one would be in the target properties to keep their allies out of danger.

Overall, the meeting left each of you feeling unsatisfied. This war with Shinhyuk was like having an unbearable itch while your hands were tied behind your back. You could only hope their careful preparation would eventually lend them the upper hand when they felt confident enough to retaliate.

With restless minds but nothing to do, Taehyung asked his friends to stay and a movie was agreed upon. As you had observed before, the boys relaxed remarkably quickly, and you were soon laughing with Hobi and Tae as you poured out snacks in the kitchen.

As you collected the packets, Hoseok returned to sit down. You and Tae had barely set foot around the corner when Hoseok let out a yell.

Startled, your head whipped around to find Yoongi standing silently in the doorway, leaning against one side, arms folded and a murderous expression.

“I didn’t see you there,” Hoseok breathed, laughing with a hand over his heart.

Before you could stop it, a snort escaped you, barely choked back, remembering exactly what you had said about Yoongi the night before. Luckily, you weren’t the only one, as you heard Taehyung beside you laughing through his nose, more successful at suppressing the sound.

“I hope there’s good news from the meeting,” Yoongi glared at you two, “I’m going bloody insane dancing around Shinhyuk like this.”

Everyone switched straight back to business mode around you, but you made the mistake of glancing over at Taehyung.

As soon as you made eye contact, neither of you could control yourselves and you had to fight to keep in your mirth. The dark warning glances from the other boys did nothing but fan the flames. Taehyung bit down on his lips as they threatened to break out into laughter; your cheeks ached.

Sinking onto the sofa, Taehyung looked pointedly away from you, shoving his fist into his mouth, shoulders still shaking.

With the tears brimming in your eyes, you didn’t care to listen to Yoongi as he talked about whatever he and Jimin had just come back from. When Jimin came in, a strangled laugh leapt from your mouth before you clamped it shut again, but you had set Tae off again.

The orange-haired boy across the room stared at you both like you were crazy.

“What’s your problem?” Yoongi’s sour face only made it harder to remove him from the ridiculous cartoon stereotype and Taehyung finally broke, guffawing loudly with his head thrown back, before falling against you and clinging to your shoulder, tears running down his face.

Shocked to find Taehyung’s head suddenly pressed into the crook of your neck, your breathless laugh was finally cut off. All you could do was stare down at him with a smile as he pulled himself together, wheezing dramatically the whole time.

At last, he seemed to realise himself and abruptly let go of your shirt. Pulling back, you were face to face for a second, expressions reflecting each other’s surprise, before he closed his mouth and turned back to Yoongi with a flawless poker face.

“Nothing.”

And then you were laughing again.

The prospect of Yoongi almost definitely hating you now didn’t bother you anymore. In the days following the meeting, you had begun to work through the list of names Jungkook had scribbled down of the members of Shinhyuk’s current inner members:

-Gi Beomho- has a Gwangju accent?

-Chaewon/known as Seb

-(Lee?) Minho

-Soonjae

-Jintao

Taehyung had told you his laptop password and you began trawling through the internet for any traces.

Though you were by no means a hacker, one of your friends at college, Jake, had once showed you a few things he knew how to do from his course in computing. Not to mention you were able to stalk someone very efficiently on social media from investigating the hot guy Lisa had seen on the street, or finding Soo’s mysterious girlfriend she refused to introduce to your group.

Now, though, there were no friends laughing around you as you tried to take apart the gang that was living in your house.

After your first afternoon of searching, nothing fruitful came up. When Taehyung had come back in the evening, you were more than happy to abandon the task and join him in your usual dinner routine, falling asleep soon after when you settled down together to watch a film.

But as the days progressed, you became more determined and frustrated in equal measure as you came across few things. You had worked your way through 3 people, giving up only after you had exhausted every avenue you could think to investigate.

Lee Minho took you even longer than the others to rule out, though you suspected from the beginning it was an alias since he shared the name with the famous actor, meaning there was an immense amount of unrelated material cluttering any path to finding the gang member, no matter what you searched.

Slumping back against the headboard, you set the laptop aside and flipped it shut.

Your attempt at working your way through the newest stack of books Taehyung had brought you was much slower than the first time around. Until he came back home, you barely took in the words.

At your side, a notebook containing the few possible leads consistently stole your attention instead.

You had managed to gain access to a couple of police reports on a Gi Beomho in Gwangju, but you would have to verify with Jungkook whether the photo was of the right person, or if you were barking up the wrong tree entirely.

When Tae finally arrived, you anxiously greeted him. Today Shinhyuk had planned his largest attack yet, on a shop that was a front for gang activity, and you knew all the boys had been on standby.

Taking in the scattered books, paper and laptop on the bed, his shoulders slumped.

“Nothing yet?”

“No, sorry,” you confirmed with a sigh.

“Don’t apologise,” he reached out and rubbed a hand along your upper arm to your shoulder. There it lingered, fingers slowly massaging for a moment.

“Were you hurt today?”

In only the short time since he came in, he had only squeezed out a smile once as he tried to reassure you.

At the shake of his head, you felt a knot in your chest release. But he still wasn’t happy.

“So what happened?”

“We didn’t go in at all. It was a lost cause,” he sat on the bed and kicked his shoes off without energy, “he shut the whole place down. It’s done for.”

With another huff, he fell back to lie on the bed. You did the same.

Weighty silence hovered over you both.

You had no idea how long you merely stared up at the ceiling, paralysed, before Taehyung moved. Slowly, he reached his hand out, fingers finding yours. As he intertwined your hands where they lay between you, you simply let your eyes slide shut, squeezing back.

“I know you’ll find something.”

Though you appreciated his support, he said it to assure himself as much as you.

Whether he could see or not, you nodded.

Just then, Tae’s familiar ringtone chimed in the silence. Pulling his phone from a pocket, he held it above him, checking the caller. Deciding it was worth it, he reluctantly pulled his had from yours to push himself up as he swiped across the screen and held the device to his ear.

Sitting up too, you could hear Jungkook’s voice crackling out from the phone.

“Hyung, I think I-I messed up-“

“Woah, Jungkook, what happened?”

“I was in Shinhyuk’s car, and I saw a file in there, he was looking through it, and it had you guys in it! It was labelled ‘bangtan’ and it’s full of information on everyone- I didn’t know he had that, but I just- I panicked, and I stole it, and now I have it but Shinhyuk’s leaving before me and he’ll notice it’s gone and- fuck-“

You caught Tae’s eye as you both listened in horror to the scared maknae.

“Where are you Kook?” Tae demanded, eyes breaking from yours.

“Um, at Y/N’s,” he replied, “the others are just packing away-“

But before he could finish, you had reached over and pulled the phone right out of Taehyung’s grasp.

“Jungkook,” you hissed into the receiver, “there’s two loose floorboards under my wardrobe at the back, they’re pretty quiet to move, can you hide it in there?”

“Uh, yeah,” the boy responded, “thanks.”

You lowered the phone to return to Tae, but suddenly brought it back to your ear.

“And don’t look at any of the stuff that’s already in there!”

“Oh- okay,” the boy sounded startled, but Tae seemed to find your miniature panic hilarious as he took the phone back and hung up.

Saying nothing, he wiggled his eyebrows and smirked at you.

“Oh, shut it,” you ignored the heat rising in your cheeks and shoved him lightly back onto the bed, where he only laughed louder.

“It’s not even- oh you are ridiculous,” you cried as he pulled you down on top of him, only making you turn redder.

In your embarrassment, you tried to wriggle away from him, pushing on his chest, but he grabbed your wrists, bringing you back down, grin ever-present on his face.

“Hey!” you protested, and then, “Ya! Stop! Tae-“

His hands reached down to tickle your sides, and you squirmed away from him again, only to have him follow, ending up on top of you as he mercilessly continued his attack, enjoying himself far too much.

“Ohmygod, ahh, Tae, please, aaaahahaha…”

Struggling, you writhed around, legs kicking out as you shrieked in protest before you finally reached his sides and exacted your revenge. He curled in on himself, giggling and apologising to get you to stop. You did, eventually, only to throw a pillow right at his face, though he easily caught it in the hands he had held up in surrender.

Both collapsing back onto the bed, you turned your head to one side, but you found he was already looking back at you. His laughter had dissipated into a smile which you returned.

“Thanks for helping out Kook,” he said earnestly, eyes boring into yours, “I told you that you would be helpful.”

This time, your heart soared with his praise.

You weren’t hopeful about finding ‘Soonjae’, or anything that could bring him away from Shinhyuk. Having gone through half the list already, the remaining two were the people Jungkook had the least information on.

Trudging through the morning, you were reluctant to take to the computer and be met with more inevitable defeat. Today you felt particularly tired, which didn’t help.

It was strange since you had slept for a long time, waking only after Taehyung had gone, leaving you missing his presence, even if you barely touched him while you shared a bed.

Nonetheless, you found yourself sifting through links and articles online, far from the first page of Google filled with celebrities and international news. With the little information you had on the man, you ended up reading through anything and everything containing the name Soonjae. Facebook profiles, comments on newspaper articles, a GoFundMe page…

Taking a sip of water, you scrolled idly to the bottom of the GoFundMe, which was for a child after all, no gang member, and read the ‘recent’ donations (the most recent being over a year old) and comments. Nothing.

Clicking on ‘show more’, you pulled up the full comment list and scanned through. For what, you weren’t sure. Most donations were small bits and pieces, but among the ones from three years ago, one was a little more sizeable. Along with it came an interesting comment: a woman called Sara was apologising for her ‘previous words’ and wishing the boy well.

You frowned as you read it. Though it was almost certainly unrelated, you were undeniably curious as to what she might have said to target an ill child.

Clicking next on the woman’s account, you decided to try and log in. After employing the password tricks Jake had showed you, you made it. The account had been created the same day as the donation was made on little Soonjae’s page, and appeared untouched since. You supposed this tangent had come to nothing, though you were certainly pleased with your skills after getting into the account.

Closing down the tab, you searched next for ‘Soonjae GoFundMe’. There was the campaign you had already seen, followed by a few that proved to be unrelated as well. You selected ‘next page’ with little hope.

Then something caught your eye.

About halfway down, the name Sara.

Quickly selecting the page, you found yourself on Facebook instead of GoFundMe, but what you found was certainly interesting. It was the same woman from the earlier page. This time she had posted a status:

If anyone on here donates to Soonjae’s fucking gofundme get ready to be cut out of my life XD cheaters don’t deserve your pity

That was certainly interesting. No wonder she had apologised to the boy – it also explained her big donation – probably given out of guilt.

But re-reading the status, you realised she couldn’t possibly be talking about the boy. Unless by ‘cheater’ she meant that he had cheated on a test in school, but you suspected that was not the case.

You clicked on her profile.

Her profile picture showed her holding a little boy that must be around ten, standing on a beach. Flipping through her older profile images, they stopped three years ago. Perhaps she had deleted all previous ones?

Only friends can see Sara’s photos

Only friends can see Sara’s timeline

“Not just friends…” you muttered, getting to work.

Unluckily for Sara, she had used the same password as on her GoFundMe, so you logged in easily.

The first thing you saw was that she reportedly lived in your city: a promising start. Scrolling through to three years ago, you saw only one other post close in time to her attack on Soonjae and his fundraising page:

Sara is feeling: heartbroken X(

That lead you nowhere, so you made your way back up her feed, seeing photos of her son and meals with friends. Few stuck out as anything but happy, all possibly related to the mysterious events of three years ago.

That’s right, delete your fucking facebook. I don’t need to worry about blocking you now XD

Sara is feeling: defeated☹: Just got out of court. Nrs

What was the point in all this? Just to prove something? Well you did, you proved I was right all along

Now you really were intrigued. You needed to find out what was going on, she was definitely linked to a Soonjae in your city, so you had reason to investigate further. Still, as you clicked on the messages icon, you felt very much like a trespasser.

Searching for ‘Soonjae’ at the top, two conversations were pulled up, both from three years ago. One with ‘Park Soonjae’ and one with ‘Help Soonjae’.

First choosing ‘Help Soonjae’, recognising the profile picture as the same image used on the GoFundMe, you read the exchange of messages.

Sara: What the fuck is this?

Sara: I can’t believe you’re pulling the pity card after what you’ve done

Help Soonjae: Excuse me?

Sara: You know what I mean

Help Soonjae: Ma’am, I don’t know you but please calm down. I will block you, this page is only trying to raise hospital funds for my son. I’d thank you to explain how this is ‘pulling the pity card’

Sara: Wait… Oh my gosh, I am so sorry!

Sara: I can’t apologise enough, I thought this was my husband’s page, he has the same name as your son! I didn’t check the page before messaging, I didn’t mean to offend you or your son

Sara: I’ll make a donation to your page to make up for this. I wish your son the best

Read 15:47

And that was the end of that. Wincing with second hand embarrassment, you quickly moved on to ‘Park Soonjae’.

Soon, you realised that the message history was long, but it all ended three years ago. You gave up on scrolling your way to the top, seeing that most messages consisted of ‘I love you’s and reminders to buy milk. The final conversation, however, gave you a lot more information.

Sara: What the fuck is this?

Then followed a screenshot of a GoFundMe page: Help Soonjae win Custody

Sara: You cheated. Maybe you should write that in your description.

Soonjae: Sara, I’ve told you I’m sorry

Sara: And I’ve told you that’s not enough. We are over

Soonjae: I can understand that. I just can’t understand why you want to keep my son from me!

Sara: HOW CAN YOU NOT TELL?!?!

Sara: I never want to see you again, and I don’t want kai to either

Soonjae: How can I make it up to you without going to court? I can’t afford the fees and you know it

Sara: You can’t ‘make it up’ to me. And it’s not my problem anymore if you can afford it or not. I’m blocking you

And that was it.

You wasted no time in opening Soonjae’s profile in a new tab, before taking a screenshot of the messages and logging out of Sara’s account.

Soonjae’s account was indeed deleted, confirming him as the target of Sara’s earlier status update. One search for new profiles under the same name showed no one promising. Your ‘breakthrough’ seemed more trivial now you had taken a step back from it. Without a picture of the Soonjae you had found, you couldn’t confirm if you were on the right target.

You had one last option, and searched for the GoFundMe Sara had sent a screenshot of. At last you found it, though it took a while as it had been declared finished and was from so long ago.

But, once you opened it, it turned out Sara’s screenshot hadn’t included the full photo at the top of the campaign. It had only showed a baby cradled in someone’s arms, but on the site, the full photo extended to show the man’s face.

This time, you did not scroll down.

You just stared.

There would be no need for Jungkook to verify if this was the right man. Those eyes had stared at you before from underneath a hoodie in your own bedroom not so long ago. And the hands that held his son had given you the wound in your side.

“Holy shit…” you breathed, taking a screenshot when you recovered from your shock.

Then you proceeded to scroll down. And it seemed like you had hit the jackpot.

The description had been updated, and the last lines read:

Thanks for the generosity. This page will be deactivated as I have now sourced funding from a private benefactor. Will update those who donated on the court result.

“Tae! Oh my god-“

You froze on the stairs.

On hearing the door opening downstairs, you had presumed Taehyung had returned, but instead, Yoongi stood in the hallway.

“Hi,” he said coolly.

“Sorry,” you murmured, but didn’t retreat back upstairs. Staring back at him, laptop and notebook clutched in your arms, you felt the need to share your breakthrough.

After a few seconds glaring at you, Yoongi moved away down the hallway. Taking a breath, you followed.

“Um, sorry, I thought you were Tae,” you spoke from the door.

“Ok,” came his short reply as he rooted in the fridge.

“Actually, er,” you pushed, making the boy at least turn around and acknowledge your presence, “I wanted to show him something. But… I can show you instead. You know how I was searching up Shinhyuk’s closest members, well, I think I found something.”

His unimpressed face vanished at least a little, and he nodded, taking a swig from the drink he had picked.

“Okay,” you placed the laptop on the island and opened the screenshots you had saved, “so I found this woman’s messages with a Soonjae in the city, they were getting divorced but he couldn’t afford the legal costs to fight for custody of their son.”

Yoongi leaned forwards to read the screen and you stepped aside, worrying your lip. Watching him read, you leaned against the counter to support your tired legs.

“Bastard,” he muttered.

“Pardon?”

“He cheated on her,” he said simply, gesturing towards the screen, drink in hand.

You hummed in agreement and flipped onto the second image.

“He set up this GoFundMe, but see how it says he then received funding from elsewhere.”

“Could be Shinhyuk, definitely,” Yoongi agreed, “I can send Jungkook this guy’s picture-“

“Actually, you don’t have to,” you cut in, “I, er, I recognise him. He was one of Shinhyuk’s that broke into my place.”

“Shit,” Yoongi breathed, turning to take a look back at the man on the screen, “good catch.”

“Thanks,” you couldn’t help but smile, “so… what now?”

Setting his drink aside, Yoongi bent over the counter and opened a new tab, sending the images to his own email, along with a final one of Sara’s details on Facebook.

“I think we have enough to work with. We can use the details for leverage and approach him.”

“Nice,” you couldn’t keep yourself from smiling. Even if only Yoongi was around to see it, you were just proud to have hopefully helped bangtan get another rival under their belt, and get closer to defeating Shinhyuk.

It seemed Yoongi had finished with the laptop, even though he hadn’t yet left the kitchen or even picked his drink up again. Awkwardly, you stepped closer to shut the laptop and slide it off the counter.

Taking a stride back towards the door, you hesitated.

“Well, erm, thanks, I’ll just- yeah.”

“Wait.”

You turned back around, surprised at just how small Yoongi’s voice sounded. Not knowing what to say, you waited as he stood shuffling his feet.

At last he cleared his throat and spoke.

“Listen, I’m sorry for, you know… trying to kill you that time,” he said. His voice was quiet, as if a lower volume would allow him to pretend he never said it.

“Well there’s a sentence I never thought I’d hear,” you chuckled.

“No, I really am,” he spoke stronger this time, actually looking at you, “I know I haven’t been the nicest and-“

“No, it’s okay,” you flashed him another smile, “I know you were just trying to protect Tae.”

He fell silent again for a moment, and you thought that might be it. But something was still on the tip of his tongue and he looked down, one hand coming to scratch his ear.

“I want to tell you I’m happy for you guys. You seem… well, really nice, and I know Tae thinks so too, and I trust him, so… yeah.”

Gulping, he looked up at you, trying to hide his mortification at the barrage of emotion he had just released. You just stared back at him, lost for words.

Maybe he had said something wrong?

“A-and, thank you for doing this work on Shinhyuk’s gang, it’ll really help us. What you did was really impressive-“

“I-I’m sorry,” you finally spluttered out, “what did you mean when you said you- you’re… you’re happy for us?”

Looking back at you, his eyes widened.

“Shit, are you guys not-“

You tried to swallow down any signs of how flustered you were, clutching the laptop tighter in front of your chest. Perhaps he didn’t mean what you thought he might-

“I thought you guys were dating. Shit.”

You couldn’t agree more with that last sentiment.

Just as you opened your mouth, without knowing what you planned on saying, you were saved by the bell. Or rather, the door.

Tae had finally come home. It would be an understatement to say he was surprised to find you and Yoongi together, in conversation too apparently. Hopefully Yoongi had finally quit his tough act and exposed his softness that Tae had insisted you would find eventually.

Yoongi was quick to inform Tae of what you had dug up on Soonjae. Taehyung put his hand on your shoulder, sending you a proud grin that made your heart race as he told you he knew you could do it.

The whole time you were aware of Yoongi watching the interaction, and you excused yourself as soon as you could, leaving the boys to themselves.

Practically running up the stairs, you were left panting as you closed the door to the bedroom. Just one short burst of speed had knocked you out, but that concern barely crossed your mind as you surrendered to the mattress, thinking only of what Yoongi had told you.

He thought you were dating? Ridiculous…

But then why had the suggestion got to you so much? Sure, you shared a bed with the guy, and you enjoyed being with him, and liked it when he held your hand or hugged you…

Fuck.

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[mbti-ramblings-and-whatnot]

Trying to type characters from books y’all probably don’t recognise

Or you do know them, in which case outside opinions are helpful :) Even if you don’t know the series, I’ll try to give some examples and explain my reasonings so you can correct me if I’m wrong on definitions or if I’m interpreting things in a not so correct way

Today’s edition: The Mysterious Benedict Society I’ll just be typing the main 4 characters

**beware, spoilers may/will be present**

-

Reynard Muldoon: INTJ

Throw away the stereotypes because Reynie is seriously such a sweet kid, he’s never cold and unfeeling. And yet, he’s still insanely logical, so don’t go telling me he’s a feeler.

Whilst trying to type Reynie, there were several problems I encountered. The biggest of which being whether he had Ni or Ti in his top two functions. The reason Ti came to mind is because Reynie’s often asking lots of questions and trying to figure out “why?”. I know that everyone can ask questions, but one of the defining characteristics of Ti is that it wants to understand things, which often leads it to asking a lot of questions about “why?”. He’s definitely highly logical (which led me to call him a thinker), and Ti seemed (at first) like it made sense. However, if he had Ti in one of his top two functions, he would be a Perciever. And my boy Reynie is anything but. He’s the one everyone looks to when they need a plan. He’s the one who comes up with all the plans. He feels extremely uncomfortable when he doesn’t have a plan. I may not be comfortable with anything else I’ve called him, but I know he’s a judger. So, if he’s a thinker and a judger, he has to have Te. That’s just how that works. Although I see lots of Ti in him, he just isn’t a perceived, and Te does make a fair amount of sense. Then, with that problem out of the way, I didn’t even have to worry about dealing with Ni. I know he’s very perceptive to patterns, which can be seen in a scene very early in the first book. He’s taking a test that had been advertised in the paper for gifted children. If I’m not mistaken, he’s the only one who figured out that all of the answers to all of the questions were inside the questions themselves. Qs 1-20’s answers were in Qs 21-40, and vice versa. Of course they were phrased in a way that you had to be paying attention to catch it, but they were still there. And he’s the only one who caught it. So either everyone sucks at picking up on patterns or he’s just got some really high Ni.

And so, the only part left to figure out is whether he’s a introvert or extravert. This kid spent most of his childhood before the setting of the book completely alienated by the other children in the orphanage, and he didn’t seem to mind it much. He was always happy just being able to be by himself in the library, reading a nice book by himself. Although he does greatly cherish his friendships as the novels progress, he still very much feels like an introvert to me, at least.

So, putting it all together, we get INTJ! Feel free to start friendly debates in the comments/reblogs/tags, I’m happy to hear anyone else’s thoughts if they think anything else! Just please keep it respectful!

-

Constance Contraire: ENTJ

Very similar to Reynie, I just realised… oh well.

I’m not so positive about much else, but Constance is pure Ni. Her level of Ni makes Reynie look like he wouldn’t be able to notice the pattern in a sequence of circle, square, circle, square, etc. I mean, oh my gosh… just… pure Ni right here. For those of you who are unaware, this book series is focused on the adventures of four children, all who are gifted in different ways. Constance, despite the fact that she advanced very quickly for her age (she was 2 in the first book (I think) and was still able to participate in extremely important ways to things that were going on), is essentially hypersensitive to patterns. Like, she could be in a room and someone could be walking quietly down the hallway and she’d know exactly who it was and where they were, just by picking up on sound or whatever it is. Her brain so effortlessly picks up on all sorts of patters without her even knowing it, which feels a ton like Ni to me. My only issue with this is she doesn’t feel like a judger, she doesn’t appear to me as someone who’d care much at all about organisation or plans, but Ni is dominant or auxiliary only for judgers, and I’m not going to argue with that.

The rest of what I have is only assumptions, and I’m open to hearing other opinions.

I think I heard somewhere (a Frank James video?) that, for example, people whose dominant function is a perceiving function (Ni, Ne, Si, Se) would more often come home from work or school or whatever and, when asked how their day went, they would talk more about the things that happened versus the people and interactions/whatever was going on with them, and the opposite for people whose dominant function is judging (Fi, Fe, Ti, Te). Constance, to me, feels like the kind of person who would come home (or wherever home was at the moment) and complain about how stupid everyone seemed all day and how dumb everything they did was. This would mean her dominant function would be her judging function, which would have to be extraverted if her other highest function is introverted. So she’d then be an extravert. You could also make the argument that if she were talking with Mr Benedict (someone she cares an insane amount about), for example, she’d talk about all the cool things she did. But, I still feel that in most scenarios this wouldn’t be the case, so I stand by what I decided on above. There’s even the argument where (completely ignoring everything I’ve said above, just focus on Exxx vs Ixxx right now) she lived alone in the storage room of a library for who knows how long (several weeks? months?). That definitely feels introverted to me, but it could also be irrationality and fear keeping her down there. I don’t know, other thoughts are helpful.

The last thing we need to figure out is whether she’s a feeler or thinker, or in other words whether she’s an Fe or Te dom. To me, Constance doesn’t seem to care much about what other people want. She’ll steal your ice cream when you aren’t looking, when you’re playing the steal/share game (I don’t feel like explaining it, so for your reference it is described in the first chapter of “The Mysterious Benedict Society and the Prisoner’s Dilemma” (aka the third book)) she’ll choose steal because she wants the other people (her friends) playing to have to suffer the consequences, she just doesn’t seem to care much about caring for others. So this would leave her being a thinker, which although I don’t think I’d necessarily call her logical, she is just a little kid and she really doesn’t feel like a feeler.

So, putting all that together, she’d be an ENTJ. Other opinions are welcome, I’d love to talk about it!

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Kate Wetherall: ESFP

I wanted to call her an ESTP (and she might very well be one), but I’ll stick with ESFP for the purposes of my explanations

Total Se dom, I’m not even going to argue about that. She has insanely good spacial awareness and is very much a hands-on person. One of her special gifts is that, just by looking at something, even for just a moment, she can tell you exactly how long it is. No doubt about it, she’ll know. Once she was down in a storm drain (? I think it was a storm drain) to help a girl get the pencil she’d dropped down there. Despite the fact that it was probably super dark down there, she knew exactly how deep the crack the pencil feel down was. She’s high energy, always looking for adventure, very extraverted. I’m not sure what else to say, but man does she have high Se. At this point a lot of it’s just a feeling I get, but I trust it.

So, if she’s an Se-dom, she has to be an ESxP. The only two options from here on forth are ESTP and ESFP, and for some reason I’ve settled on ESFP. I don’t think she’s super logical, she sort of feels like a feeler… not sure…

I actually have no idea if she’s an F or T, so if any of you know the books, I’d appreciate some assistance!

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George “Sticky” Washington: IxTx

No idea with this kid, I also haven’t thought too much about his… nothing seems to jump out to me as STICKY except for introvert… but that’s not much to go off of…

He doesn’t seem to be very social, he seems like he’d be perfectly happy to spend less time around people (aside from the three people above, they as a group are inseparable, it tears them apart inside to be apart from one another for too long).

I call him a thinker, but I wouldn’t argue if you called him a feeler.

I really have no clue with this kid, assistance would be appreciated!

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So! 

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