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incorrectshantaequotes · 6 months

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Shantae Headcanons - Couples/Romance

So! This is a bit different! Currently, I'm trying to get my writer brain back in gear (or more accurately get it focused on Shantae) so I can finish up that Halloween fic that is very late right now, and I tend to find that my writer brain is far more stimulated when I write down these headcanon posts. So, naturally, I got to thinking about what to write a headcanon post about, and I figured, "hey! romance is a fairly good topic!"

The only issue with that is, well...as any long-time followers of this blog will know, aside from Shantops and Skylo (and also Twitchegar but they're fairly minor characters so yknow), which are fairly locked in as my headcanons at this point, I don't really have any solid headcanons for couples. Even with some couples that make frequent appearances on this blog, I'm willing to go for different options if it's submitted or if it'd make a particular quote that much funnier. And, honestly? I do not see that changing as I write these down.

...buuuuuuuuut that isn't going to stop me from writing down headcanons regarding what these characters are seeking out in a relationship! And also writing down how the dynamics for a character's various options would work out. So, with that in mind, let's hop to it!

NOTE: EXTREMELY LONG POST UP AHEAD. Like I say that a lot but good god this is a long one. I thought I ran into a text limit like twice and for good reason. You've been warned

Shantae/Rottytops

Starting strong with the fan favorite half-genie and zombie couple...when it comes to who started crushing on who first, obviously, Rottytops was first, like, right from the get-go - with her initial internal thought of "oh hey this girl's cute" rapidly spiraling into "I would propose to her on the spot without hesitation." Shantae, meanwhile, only started reciprocating around Pirate's Curse, but while she might not show it as blatantly or as frequently as Rotty, she is equally down bad for the zombie.

I imagine Rottytops as something of a casual flirt - before she met Shantae, during the games themselves, and even after they've gotten together to some extent! She enjoys getting a rise out of people, and flirting with them is both fairly simple and something she doesn't mind doing. She's definitely had a few relationships before Shantae, but nothing particularly serious. All of which is to say that, when she started having actual, deep, serious feelings for Shantae, Rotty had absolutely zero frame of reference, which was both frightening and incredibly exciting at the same time.

Rotty's exact reasons as to why she's so attracted to Shantae are...basically what's stated in-game, but to dig deeper into it, it's that right from the start, Shantae has looked at Rotty - a zombie girl who introduced herself by trying to eat Shantae's brains, a known trickster who wasn't that well-liked even among her fellow zombies, and who Shantae has no reason to trust or have any faith in, especially right after Risky's Revenge - and saw someone who could do better. Someone with potential to do good. Granted, that sentiment was initially expressed as frustrated disappointment, but even then Rotty was dumbfounded once she absorbed the implications of that. Even her brothers haven't expressed that kind of faith in her...more because they think she's fine as is than anything, but still! And while her initial reaction was to try and cling to that bit of faith before what she felt to be an inevitable loss of it, eventually, Rotty decided to take up the hard task of actually improving herself, and doing good, showing Shantae that that tiny bit of faith wasn't misplaced. And that one change in philosophy really made all the difference.

As for what draws Shantae to Rotty...well, after she realized that Rotty was never really malicious, and just trying to connect with her the only way she knew how, she naturally started viewing her a lot more charitably. And it was with that fresh perspective that she started noticing a few things. Like, for instance, how adventurous Rotty is. Daring. Bold. Everyone else Shantae knows tends to think at least a little bit before they say something, but Rotty is never afraid to speak her mind. She is loud, outspoken, and everything Shantae can't - refuses, really - let herself be, and as someone who's always at least a little worried about presenting herself as an ideal hero, a shining beacon to look to and inspire, there's something very appealing about a girl who just. Doesn't give a shit about any of that. And what really did it for Shantae is just how outspoken Rotty is regarding her. Rottytops has seen some of the aspects Shantae views least charitably about herself, mainly her temper, and in spite of it all, Rotty sees the world in her - and as the queen of self-esteem issues (even if most of them were ironed out post-Pirate's Curse), there's something very awe-inspiring about that to Shantae. Especially as Rottytops became more of an ally, her mind just...she had to wonder. Consider the possibilities. Something about the prospect of getting closer to Rotty got her heart racing, and yet- Rotty would have said something if she felt the same, right? Did she really want to risk losing it all?

Then Seven Sirens happened, and as Shantae and her friends were heading home, her mind happened to wander back to the moment where she encountered "Fillin" in her cage, and without the stress of dealing with the Sirens getting in the way, she then properly processed...literally everything in that scene, and that was when it clicked for Shantae that, "oh. OH. I don't think either of us are normal about this, actually." That was what finally compelled Shantae to confess, because, well...even if she was wrong, after all the shenanigans Rotty went through to get in just because she thought she might not be invited, she was fairly certain a love confession wouldn't get her to leave. And she was right on that front! Very, very right.

Their exact relationship hasn't overtly changed that much on Rotty's end, it's just that Rotty's turned her more subtle flirting into something significantly more blatant. She loves showering Shantae with affection, both physical and emotional, both because she feels Shantae deserves more of it and because she enjoys how easy it is to fluster Shantae with her flirting. She's also made more of a habit to let Shantae in on her schemes, which Shantae appreciates since it helps avoid another Fillin incident - not to mention, it lets her help Rotty be more reasonable with her schemes, pull her back when she might be going too far or redirecting her efforts if she thinks they might be a bit much...and, on the occasion that one of Rotty's schemes is perfectly fine and harmless, give Shantae a chance to lend a helping hand. Never let it be said that she doesn't have a mischievous side to her.

As for Shantae, she doesn't have nearly as much dating experience as Rotty does, so while she'll gladly return the favor when it comes to giving her affection, she doesn't do it to quite the same frequency as Rotty does, at least in public - partially because some irrational part of Shantae's brain is worried about doing too much, partially because Shantae personally likes to be a bit more deliberate with her affection. When in private, however, she's willing to get very intimate in a way that Rotty's previous relationships have not prepared her for in the slightest. She'll hold her close, whisper sweet nothings in her ear, slowly run her hands through Rotty's hair and down her back...and, honestly, Shantae would be lying if she said that there wasn't any appeal in flustering Rotty just as much as she can fluster her.

Rottytops personally gets a bit thrilled about the idea of Shantae having a darker side to her - I mean, just look at her initial reaction to Nega Shantae in Friends to the End - and it's a subject that comes up rather frequently in her more wild fantasies. Though, if push were to come to shove...she fell in love with Shantae for her kind and caring nature, and ultimately, Rotty prefers Shantae as she is. Although she'd never publicly admit it. She has a reputation to maintain as a bad influence, after all! That being said, Shantae is a lot more willing to play ball than you might think, at least in private, and has a few ideas of her own that she'd be far too embarrassed to try with anyone else, much to Rottytops' delight.

The most anyone else knows about that last part is when, one time, Rotty was walking home with about two dozen obvious bite marks and a dopey smile on her face, and Sky felt the need to stop her because she was worried that Rotty had run into a pack of feral zombies. She did not understand why Rottytops burst out laughing until she brought it up with Shantae and the half-genie went about as red as her outfit, muttering that she didn't think it was THAT obvious...at which point, Sky resolutely decided to never ask about Shantae and Rotty's private life. Ever.

Sky/Bolo

Moving on to our OTHER main protagonists...Sky and Bolo, despite being the only two characters who actively pursue romantic relationships in the games, have somehow never caught on that a potential romantic relationship with the potential to fill both of their needs is right there, and I imagine it takes them a little while longer for either of them to catch onto that little fact yet...as in, several months after Shantae and Rottytops have officially begun dating longer. I internally like calling this ship "Three Feet in Front of You" after the famous Mulan bit of "You missed! How could you miss, it was three feet in front of you!", because if that isn't a perfect summary of their relationship up until they actually start dating, I don't know what is.

I'm not going to get into how they start dating because I have an entire fic about that - a fic which I really need to get to writing the other three chapters for at some point - but the tl;dr is that Rottytops, tired of waiting for them to get their heads out of their asses, decided to play matchmaker, and while said plan...didn't quite work the way she intended, it DID ultimately help get them together, albeit in a very roundabout way.

Both Sky and Bolo are bisexual. For Bolo, it was more of a quiet "huh" realization, with a very casual acceptance and slight change in lifestyle, but nothing particularly groundbreaking for him. Probably realized it before the events of the games, even. Sky, on the other hand...as I've said before, I imagine she was repressed for a WHILE on account of her parent's pressure, so she just assumed she was straight because she did experience attraction to men, and it wasn't like her parents would accept any other option. right? Or so she assumed. So, what exactly got Sky to realize she was bisexual? ...Rottytops. It was Rottytops. And that is a secret she fully intends on taking to her grave - no pun intended - because she knows Rotty would never let her live it down if she knew.

That being said, Rottytops was not Sky's first sapphic crush, at least beyond anything superficial. This is going to slightly spoil that fic I mentioned earlier whenever I DO get to finishing that second chapter, but that honor actually goes to Harmony - Rotty's plan to get Sky and Bolo together involved using Harmony to inspire jealousy in Sky, but what happened instead was that Sky quickly found herself to be incredibly attracted to the half-genie, and ended up asking her out. The relationship was short-lived, but they're on good terms, and Sky has entertained the idea of opening up her and Bolo's relationship and bringing Harmony in...but it'd take a while for her to bring up that possibility to Bolo, both because she'd want to get a good feel for what a stable, long-term relationship feels like before potentially shaking it up, and because Sky feels incredibly guilty about how she acted back then, even with Harmony being understanding, and it'd take a long time for that guilt to fade. Everyone agrees that Harmony was a significantly better choice than Barracuda Joe and Armor Baron, though.

Sky has a very specific type that pretty much all of her romantic endeavors fall under. She looks for someone who's...responsible. Someone grounded. Strong, both in a physical and metaphorical sense, someone she feels she can entrust her life to and be safe with. Barracuda Joe counted as a high-ranking lieutenant in the Ammonian Army who plays the straight man to Ammo Baron's over-the-top antics, Armor Baron...was at least able to act the part as a trusted authority figure in Armor Town up until he pulled out the rug from under her with his enchanted armor, Harmony goes without saying, and even if he can be a bit dense sometimes, Bolo was the one who taught Shantae how to fight, and he was shown to act as a babysitter for a bunch of zombie kids, so he can clearly be responsible if the situation calls for it. Bolo, meanwhile, is a lot less picky, more just looking for someone who appreciates him for who he is and doesn't automatically write him off as some meathead, and Sky is more than happy to oblige on that front.

Another criteria for Sky's romantic partners that Harmony accidentally introduced is "do Sky's birds like them?" Both Harmony and Bolo pass this criteria with flying colors, with Sky's birds absolutely adoring Harmony, and Bolo being the only human besides Sky who they trust and can really handle them. This has been a major relief for Sky, as she can often worry about how her birds are handling things without her whenever she leaves for an extended period of time, so having someone she can trust to keep an eye on them is...nice! Especially considering how both Shantae and Rottytops swear that Sky's birds are demons in disguise after one extended babysitting session. She had no idea they could get that agitated just from her not being there.

Sky and Bolo aren't the most physically affectionate couple, especially compared to Shantae and Rottytops, but that's more because they just show their affection in significantly different ways. For Sky, that comes in the form of meticulous planning, though she's thankfully toned it down to a much more reasonable level from the control freak/"planning their marriage after only a few hours" level of planning shown in Pirate's Curse. In Sky's eyes, the best way to show her love to Bolo is to give him the perfect date, or the perfect gift, and the level of planning and scheming she will do to achieve that is enough to impress even Rottytops. Bolo, meanwhile, is the more physically affectionate of the two, but for the most part his love tends to come in the form of gifts, whether it be traditional things like flowers and chocolates to the significantly less conventional when he puts his metalworking skills to good use. Sky actually finds herself more interested in the latter than the former, because Bolo's fairly good at doing metal sculptures - even if the finer details can escape him - and she's found herself far more entranced by the level of love and heart he puts into them than any of the traditional gifts she used to daydream about. It's a surprise for both of them, but it works.

Sky's always supported Bolo and helped with his insecurities, but now that she's DATING him, that support has become a lot more vocal. She's formed an unofficial alliance with Rottytops with the mutual sentiment of "if anyone talks shit about either of our partners we will beat them to death," and the intensity of this alliance is honestly a bit frightening for both Bolo and Shantae, but at the same time extremely flattering for both of them.

Risky Boots

This section is going to be a lot shorter than the other ones, because, well...I don't really ship Risky with anyone? And the amount of people she CAN be shipped with is very slim, especially considering that she is absolutely a lesbian in my mind and there is no budging on that front. It also doesn't help that romantic relationships require a lot of emotional vulnerability and getting Risky to be emotionally vulnerable in any capacity is like pulling teeth through a maze made entirely of knifes and trying not to get a single scratch. Buuuuuut, she IS the main antagonist of the franchise, and I have thought over a few options before, so getting into those now...

Risky/Empress Siren: AKA the "hand in unlovable hand" route. Noooooooot even remotely healthy for either party but it's definitely an option! In this case, I imagine the relationship springs up relatively naturally after Seven Sirens - Empress Siren survives, pulls herself together like I've described in my previous Siren headcanon posts...and at some point, her mind wanders to Risky. The treacherous pirate who hoodwinked her, keeping her just out of reach of pure ultimate power, and ultimately equally responsible for her downfall as that accursed half-genie...but. She's cunning, incredibly vicious, has a lofty ambition, and isn't exactly bad on the eyes, either - all of which are traits Empress Siren can admire and approve of. So, compared to Shantae, who she just actively wants dead, Empress views Risky both as a respectable and worthy rival AND as a potential romantic prospect. She either wants to kill Risky in a climactic battle or to have her as a consort when she launches her reign over the world; they're interchangeable to Empress, really, and either way she WILL openly flirt with Risky...though, exactly what Empress Siren considers flirting is not quite what most people would consider flirting.

Naturally, Risky is not at all enthusiastic about this, for a multitude of reasons - Empress Siren is vile even by her standards, she doesn't appreciate being viewed as some sort of prize, and she's still a bit pissed about the whole "stealing her body" stunt. Yes, she expected Empress Siren to betray her in advance and made sure to prepare properly, but she wasn't expecting it to happen it like THAT! ...But. As much as she hates to admit it, Empress Siren is a formidable opponent, and her twisted affections are one of the few weaknesses she can readily and easily exploit, so sometimes it's more practical to just suck it up and play into it, if only so she can get the upper hand. And if she has the occasional fantasy of a better world - one where Empress Siren isn't an egomaniacal ex-tyrant to make the Pirate Master proud, one where she's interested in Risky for who she is rather than what she has to offer her, one where Risky could, just maybe, have a partner who wouldn't be scared of her reputation or her many, many enemies, one who could keep up with Risky in a fight and on the sea, one who she could share her self-proclaimed throne as the Queen of the Seven Seas with? Well, that's none of Empress Siren's business. Even if sometimes those fantasies are the only way Risky can manage to lock lips with the siren without giving the game away. ESPECIALLY considering that, actually.

Risky/Giga Mermaid: If you want an actually HEALTHY relationship for Risky that's also at least somewhat feasible...Giga Mermaid. This sounds like a crack ship and I can't really blame you if you think that but let me explain my reasoning here. As I sorta went into near the end of the Risky/Empress Siren section there, on top of literally ALL the aforementioned issues I mentioned before, I imagine Risky would have a few...concerns about how her lifestyle would affect the life of any potential romantic partner. Empress Siren side steps all of those concerns and would be PERFECT if not for her entire personality being a red flag in and of itself, but Giga Mermaid also manages to avoid most of the concerns Risky would have. Intimidated by Risky's reputation? Well, she's giant, so I imagine that not a lot actually intimidates her to begin with, and besides that Risky saved Giga Mermaid in Pirate Queen's Quest, marking her as one of the few people Risky has actually been nice to and meaning she actually has reason to see Risky in a positive light. Risky's enemies? After Techno Baron kidnaps her twice, Giga Mermaid would definitely invest in better security, and with her size and at least some magic she can hold her own in a fight when she's actually thinking straight. Risky being at sea most of the time isn't an issue for someone who's naturally aquatic, either. The only real potential issue is how Giga Mermaid would react to Risky's ambition, as well as one on Giga Mermaid's side: her reputation as a ruler. Oh, and also how they would even meet up again, but I have that covered.

The way I'm envisioning this would start is fairly simple: Risky's out on the sea, figuring out her next plan after Seven Sirens, and she finds that resources on her ship are running low, so she elects to head to a nearby island for a quick and quiet supply run...only for Giga Mermaid to suddenly emerge from the water and stop the ship in its tracks. After a bit of outraged raving from Risky, Giga Mermaid very calmly explains that the island Risky's trying to head to is currently home to a secret but very IMPORTANT meeting between a bunch of major political powers, meaning that the island is currently armed to the teeth. That gets Risky to shut up real fast. Right now, that island is a death trap for any criminal there, let alone one so infamous as Risky. Even with a disguise she'd get figured out pretty quickly with so many on the look out for potential miscreants who might want to crash the party, and she can't exactly go on the offensive with her supplies being low...so Giga Mermaid gives her a simple offer: she'll give Risky that favor Risky insisted she owed her for saving her life back then, stowing Risky and her crew away somewhere secret and away from prying eyes until the meeting is done in a few days. It burns at Risky's pride a bit, but she really doesn't have any other option that ends in her favor, so she takes Giga Mermaid up on that offer.

Once Giga Mermaid settles her and the Tinkerbats in, Risky initially assumes that it's going to be a quiet couple of days without much to do, except...as the sun begins to set on the first day, Giga Mermaid shows up, done with the meeting for the day, and just. Talks to her. Initially she tries to ask about Risky in an attempt to understand her more, which naturally results in Risky dodging those questions like the plague, but the pirate ends up opening up more the second day when Giga Mermaid comes in steaming and vents about some of the politicians she had to deal with, inadvertently revealing more about herself in the process. This continues on as the days go by, with Risky gradually becoming more comfortable with Giga Mermaid, up until the sixth and final day of Risky's stay, where she can tentatively call Giga Mermaid a friend...and, possibly, a bit more in her dreams. But she's also sure it won't last. And when all the other political parties leave, and Risky is finally able to get her supplies, she bids Giga Mermaid what she assumes to be a final farewell, because she isn't giving up being the Queen of the Seven Seas for anyone, not even for royalty, and having a friendly relationship with a pirate has to be a breaking point for her, if just because of her reputation...only to abruptly have those assumptions thrown out the window when Giga Mermaid bluntly informs her that she doesn't care what wild assumptions people might make about her for hanging out with a pirate, and for that matter she isn't going to fight Risky on her ambition either.

Naturally, Giga Mermaid's blunt confession confuses Risky to the point where she gets right in her face and asks if she's lost her mind. Giga Mermaid admits that, while she does have a few issues with Risky's choice of career, she can acknowledge that Risky is her own woman and she can't exactly STOP her. She does, however, have one suggestion: speaking from her experience dealing with other politicians and her own royal court, there are quite a few corrupt nobles out there. Ones that people probably wouldn't miss if they were gone…and also happen to have quite the mass of wealth to their name. If Risky shifts targets from large towns to those few nobles, she'll get just as much, if not MORE than she did before, and still maintain her fearsome reputation as Queen of the Seven Seas without anyone questioning her too much. It'd just be that who fears her the most would be a bit, ah, shifted, is all. And…Risky has to admit that she raises a valid point. Incredibly valid, actually. Some could accuse her of becoming soft, sure, but those voices wouldn't be quite so bold with a sword at their throat. The only real potential protestor to all this would really be herself. And while that's not enough to sway her completely…Risky does say she'll think on it.

And so, the unlikely friendship carries on, albeit meeting in secret - more at Risky's insistence than Giga Mermaid's - with Risky gradually leaning more into morally gray territory rather than being an outright villain as she speaks more and more with Giga Mermaid, even if she'd never admit it. And then - it happens. Risky doesn't know what prompts it. Maybe it's being at sea with no one to interact but the Tinkerbats for a while, maybe it's the way Giga Mermaid laughs when she regales the queen with the tale of how she utterly humiliated a major noble - one who, coincidentally, happened to give Giga Mermaid a lot of trouble during that fateful political meeting - or maybe it's just because she's wanted to do it for a while, but during one of their meetings, Risky ends up kissing Giga Mermaid. Just a simple peck on the tip of the queen's nose, nothing more, but it's still enough to get Risky to freeze up, internally reprimand herself because what is she DOING, and immediately start barking out half-baked threats to keep Giga Mermaid from mentioning the incident to anyone…which all promptly fall short in the face of the surprised, but sly smile on Giga Mermaid's face. She wasn't EXPECTING for Risky to feel that way towards her, but she isn't complaining, and casually mentions that there's a spell she uses whenever she has to go to a political meeting not in her own kingdom, and therefore not built for her size, that she'd like to show Risky next time they meet. Confused, but mostly just relieved that Giga Mermaid isn't going to say anything, Risky agrees to see the spell. Cut to a few days later, when something suddenly stops Risky's ship. She instinctively looks around to see if she can spot Giga Mermaid…only to hear her clear her throat at a considerably quieter volume than usual. Risky turns around to see the Giga Mermaid at a more human size with the slightest of smirks and a raised eyebrow. Turns out, that's the spell - something that shrinks Giga Mermaid down to a more manageable size, if only for a few hours. And that's when she gives Risky another offer: a true, proper kiss this time. Risky takes the deal without any hesitation.

OKAY. Risky/Giga Mermaid scenario over. So, what relationship could possibly top that? …honestly, nothing; that scenario ended up being more intensive than I expected, but! Anyway, for the last Risky ship, I have one quick offering: Risky/Squidsmith. This one is definitely a crackship since the two haven't even interacted, but it IS pretty funny to me because, if you don't already know, I headcanon Squidsmith to be Bolo's mom, as detailed here. So the way I imagine this working is that Risky ends up walking into a bar where the Squidsmith is at after a long day of work. And in a brilliant moment that shows exactly where her son got his denseness from, she proceeds to not recognize Risky at all and casually flirt with her. Risky attempts to dissuade her, but Squidsmith is insistent, and eventually…Risky sighs, deciding to humor the woman and stay at her temporary home for her work for the night. And then that night goes very well for her, so when Risky happens to run into Squidsmith again…she a bit more easily persuaded this time. And the next time. And the next time. And the next time…and all the while, Squidsmith STILL doesn't connect the dots, and does not until word eventually spreads to Shantae via Bolo and she promptly realizes just who Bolo's mom has been dating. Naturally, hilarity ensues.

The Half Genies

So! Onto the half-genies! These four tend to be subject to the whole "whoever I ship is subject to whatever would be funniest" phenomenon the most frequently, since I don't really have any particular ships in mind for them. There's still more to talk about than Risky, though...which, uh, might not QUITE be the right thing to say considering how long that Risky/Giga Mermaid section ended up being. Hopefully I don't have to break up the list this time.

Starting with a half-genie I've already mentioned - and have notably more solid headcanons for - Harmony! I've only very briefly mentioned it before in a different post, but I firmly think she's asexual, though still open to romantic relationships of the sapphic variety. There's a certain level of irony to this because Harmony is also built like an Amazon, and there are a lot of people who find her attractive...and Harmony, through a combination of the aforementioned asexuality and just not having a lot of social interaction to go off of, has been completely oblivious to this up until recently. Up until she was used for the set up for Rottytops' plan to get Sky and Bolo together that ended up resulting in her briefly dating Sky, to be precise. It was her first experience being in a romantic relationship, and even if it wasn't exactly perfect by any stretch, Harmony still thinks of it fondly. If Sky were to approach her with the prospect of including her in Sky and Bolo's relationship, she'd be more than happy to say yes.

Harmony is actually fairly similar to Shantae when it comes to romantic relationships - she may be incredibly confident in herself, with a lot of experience in defending her town, being a leader, and keeping a calm and level-headed demeanor, but a romantic relationship is still a relatively new and exciting prospect for her, so she can be a bit nervous, especially in public settings. To be quite honest, though, she doesn't mind. It's actually part of the appeal of a romantic relationship to her, that she's so incredibly new to the whole thing and vulnerable in a way she normally isn't. Harmony takes her duties as a Guardian Genie very seriously, making herself a pillar of strength and self-confidence that others can look up to and depend on...but that doesn't mean that Harmony doesn't want some support herself, sometimes. And sure, with the Half-Genie festival she's gotten some friends who are more than willing to help in that regard, and she's very thankful for it, but- part of what appeals so much about a romantic relationship to Harmony is the prospect of someone who she can always trust to have her back when it all gets to be a bit too much. Someone she can trust to protect her at her weakest, and someone she can protect in turn. It's part of what made Sky so appealing to her - she'd heard how Sky helped Shantae through some of her lowest moments, and then seeing Sky with her birds, being so gentle and caring and kind...she may not have been the one to ask for a relationship, but she accepted it incredibly quick.

With all that being said, I, uh. Don't really have anyone I ship with Harmony besides the whole "did previously date Sky"/"would be open to a Sky/Bolo/Harmony polycule" thing. Like, I see a lot of people attracted to Harmony, sure, but not so much in a romantic relationship with her. In all honesty besides the polycule scenario I think Harmony's best romantic option would probably be a civilian? Which we don't really have any particularly stand-out examples of, so...yeah. I did have a fic idea for where Harmony strikes it up with that one zombie tourist girl NPC we see in Seven Sirens, though. Unfortunately I do not remember any of the details in the slightest so you'll have to get back to me on that one.

Getting to the other three...the two most prominent ships involving them are here are Zapple/Vera and Plink/Vera, and while I still don't plan on locking down a solid headcanon for which one I'd go with...I will say that, at least in the early days of the blog, I tended to lean more towards Zapple/Vera, but I have been seeing the appeal of Plink/Vera these days. So, getting into those ships now-

With Zapple/Vera, I imagine the dynamic doesn't really change much from the one I've given them as friends. Zapple is similar to Rottytops in that she can be a bit of a troublemaker, but whereas Rottytops just loves causing problems on purpose, in Zapple's case it's moreso because she has at least five different conspiracies in her head at all times and doesn't fear god. Vera's used to this just from knowing Zapple for so long, but dating her ratchets up the intensity somehow just because her dating ideas really aren't too different from the multitude of times she's gone "hey Vera you know what would be a cool idea" or went "Vera there's no time to explain we need to commit arson." You can never say a date Zapple plans is a dull one, that's for sure. But she's also a lot more...attentive to Vera than before. She's always known Zapple cares, willing to help her with any problem that arises and helping lift her spirits with her dry sense of humor and sheer enthusiasm, but now she pays attention to Vera's physical and mental health with the same paranoid intensity she gives her various conspiracies, declaring herself Vera's medic and fussing over the smallest things in a way that Vera finds both hilarious and heartwarming. As for Vera's side of things...again, it's similar to before, where she acts as a grounding presence for Zapple both in terms of her more adventurous ideas and her wild conspiracies, it's just that it's gotten notably easier - partially because Zapple is more willing to listen to her, and partially because Vera's found that any sort of physical intimacy makes Zapple's brain short circuit, and she's more than willing to take advantage of that if it keeps Zapple from staying up all night with a conspiracy board.

As for Plink/Vera...while the two might PHYSICALLY be far apart, when you have friends with teleportation magic, any given "long distance" relationship becomes a lot easier to manage, and this one would be no exception. Vera's taken a liking to showing Plink some of the natural wonders of Siren Island she never got around to seeing during her brief stay with the Half-Genie Fesitval, and seeing her eyes light up with delight at whatever Vera shows her is always worth a smile in her eyes. Plink, meanwhile, doesn't come up with the date ideas that often, but when she does, they're always spectacular. One particularly memorable moment in their relationship for both Plink and Vera is when Plink took Vera up a grassy hill late one night, refusing to elaborate what for to avoid spoiling the surprise, sitting her down, and then using her magic to let Vera see what was effectively the supernatural equivalent of an aurora borealis, with equally fantastical sights and colors to be seen. Both of them are also fairly physically intimate, with Vera being especially so when Plink is distressed, holding her close to calm her down. Meanwhile, Plink will give Vera hugs and hold hands with her often, but can be a bit nervous to take it beyond that. Doesn't mean she hasn't, though. Overall, just a particularly nice relationship...nothing crazy, but neither Vera nor Plink mind that at all.

Slightly breaking the mold and going back to Zapple here - ever since I've written my updated Siren headcanons post, which I linked earlier in Risky's section, one ship idea involving Zapple that showed up out of nowhere but has grown on me is Zapple/Octo Siren. Again, this makes more sense if you read that headcanon post, so I recommend you read that, but anyway…after all the Sirens are redeemed, I imagine Octo Siren just. Lives in Zapple's house now. They threw her in there when they kidnapped her for her own good, and she sees zero reason to leave after the fact. I stand by this regardless of whether they'd be in a romantic relationship or not, but it also happens to make for a great starting point for one! Because, as mentioned earlier, Zapple's brain short circuits with physical intimacy, and pretty much all of the Seven Sirens have zero sense of personal space. Which, well. Zapple DID catch onto that a bit with Lobster Siren, but she just figured that she didn't get out much and shrugged it off. It was only when the dust settled and everyone could let out a sigh of relief that she realized that, oh, no, they're all just like this. And now she's living with a girl that is not only fairly attractive, around her age, if a bit older - or at least the equivalent of that by Siren standards - and she shares a mutual understanding with, but also just...has a habit of casually draping herself over Zapple like she's a living lounge chair? Forget short circuiting, something in Zapple's brain has caught fire at this point and the fans are working overtime in a feeble effort to solve the issue while smoke blows out her ears.

Meanwhile, completely oblivious to Zapple's plight, Octo Siren...well. She has to admit, there's actually something of a romantic spark in her heart regarding Zapple, what with the softer side Zapple showed her that fateful night, the way she can relate to her mental struggles, the more wild side of her life that seems both a bit frightening and exciting at the same time...but, she also doesn't want to make the same mistake did with Shantae, even if the half-genie wasn't dating Rottytops at the time, and she's about...75% sure that Zapple and Vera are dating. So, Octo Siren doesn't say anything, intending to latch that romantic spark down, only to find it growing stronger and stronger until one day, she finally cracks a little and asks Zapple if she and Vera are dating. Whatever response she was expecting, it was not Zapple snapping her head over to Octo Siren and very bluntly informing her that Vera and Plink are dating, and also you have been driving me insane for the past three weeks for the love of god please date me.

Needless to say, after a lot of confusion and some explanations, the two ended up dating. Now with something of a proper sense of boundaries, Octo Siren has actually toned down how physical she is with Zapple, which is both a slight disappointment and a MAJOR relief because, as nice as all that contact and touching was, she also kinda needs her brain intact to do her job properly. Octo Siren will still drape herself over Zapple like she's a lounge chair, though, especially if she can tell Zapple's had a long day or that she's making a bad decision for herself - like, say, staying up all night to figure out conspiracies. Octo Siren doesn't have that many date ideas, but everything I said about Zapple's dates regarding the Zapple/Vera ship applies here as well, and while at first Octo Siren finds herself terrified...she also loves it a little? It does not take long into her and Zapple's relationship to become an adrenaline junkie, though thankfully one with more common sense, much to Vera's relief. Zapple is also equally attentive to Octo Siren, which is maybe a bit weird for her since she really hasn't anyone hovering over her like that in her life, but still rather flattering. Octo Siren has found that a good way to keep Zapple from committing to a bad idea - or just to receive a LOT of comfort after a particularly bad day - is to fake having a minor cold, and then watching as Zapple drops everything to help Octo Siren out.

Holly Lingerbean

Now, ending on a bit of a high note...Holly Lingerbean! Some of you are probably wondering WHY Holly in particular instead of, say, the Barons, but I went with Holly for three reasons: firstly, I am incredibly biased. Holly is one of my personal favorite Shantae characters just because she hits a lot of the right buttons for me. Secondly, there's only like two things to talk about for Holly, whereas with the Barons I'd probably have to break up their list twice just going off of Risky and the section with the half-genies. Thirdly, she's like half the reason I had the idea to write this PARTICULAR headcanon post in the first place, but I'll get to that in a bit.

Getting into the first ship, which long-time followers of the blog are probably expecting a bit...Holly Lingerbean/Nega Shantae! These two actually fairly consistently show up in my quotes as a couple, whether that be in a romantic sense or a platonic one, and, well...to be completely honest, I don't really ship the two romantically, it's just that: A.), Holly's like, one of the only few characters Nega Shantae could plausibly be interacting with besides the main four and Uncle Mimic, so it makes sense to put them together, and B.), like I mentioned before, Holly's one of my favorite Shantae characters, and she and Nega Shantae have a very interesting dynamic where, with Nega Shantae's over the top villainous personality, it's maybe one of the few times Holly can actually reasonably play the straight man, and obviously Nega Shantae can play the straight man to Holly just as well. So, in other words, this was mostly a pairing formed out of convenience that serves the actual gimmick of this blog pretty nicely...but, uh, again, I honestly don't ship them that seriously. I DO think they could work as a couple, but I'm personally not that invested in figuring out the specifics. I imagine they'd give off old married couple vibes, i.e. Bugs Bunny and Daffy Duck in the Looney Tunes Show.

Now, to the main event...some of you are probably aware of the Holly redemption AU I have going on with Living Memoir, though I haven't really added to it beyond that initial fic. But that's hardly for lack of trying! I've had plenty of ideas for it, some of which have shown up in other places - hell, the thing about Giga Mermaid having a spell to shrink herself down to a more normal size is actually from one of those fic ideas - and when it got around to pride month last year...well. I ended up having an idea. An idea completely out of left field, mind you, but one that seemed only captivating, so I mused on it. And mused on it. And then I mused on it a bit too hard, and it has been driving me insane ever since, DOUBLY so after I did my updated siren headcanon post and my brain was filled with ideas anew. But I have had approximately no place to really talk about it...until now, when I wrote this headcanon post specifically talking about couples. So, without further ado - Holly Lingerbean/Lobster Siren! ...I swear I can make this make sense

I'm not going to go too much into how they meet because I DO plan on writing that fic at some point, but to make a long story short - Shantae teleports to Siren Island with Holly, still early on in her path to redemption, in order to talk with Zapple and Vera and figure out where Harmony is, since she figures Harmony would be the best mentor for helping Holly expand her magical repertoire beyond...existing, and also messing with memories. Holly, meanwhile, doesn't really care too much about all that jazz, and just wants to get a tan...or at least act like she's getting one. But, as she manages to set herself up in a resort and get out the tanning board, she happens to spot someone out of the corner of her eye - Lobster Siren, currently hiding the best she can and spying on her. Vaguely knowing who she is from Shantae's brief rundown and not really having any thoughts about Lobster besides "huh, she's kinda cute now that I see her in person," Holly asks if she can get the waiting staff so she can order a drink. When Lobster doesn't respond, Holly remembers that she doesn't speak English, and considering her silent nature, opts for sign language instead. She is beyond pleased with herself when she gets a response, Lobster Siren asking in sign how she knows that - ha, success! - only for that pleasure to promptly shatter into a million pieces as she's informed that the particular sign language she's speaking is several centuries out of date.

Legitimately distressed from this news, as taking the time to learn that language to speak to the deaf and mute was one of the few achievements about herself she could still hold high, Holly does what she deems to be the most healthy and normal method of dealing with this issue and very quickly speedwalks away from the problem, ignoring Lobster Siren's cry of concern. This seems like a perfect plan up until Lobster Siren, very quickly fed up with being ignored, teleports directly in front of Holly and physically holds her in place so she can get her to stand still and tell her what's wrong. Because, with Lobster Siren...well. She'd been intending to avoid Holly - first impression spotting her arrival with Shantae a biiiiiiiiit too similar to Empress Siren for her tastes - but now that she's actually interacted with her...there's clearly something different going on here. Empress Siren only bothered learning the language of the surface to better convey her superiority to them, while Holly, as rude as she might have been at first, clearly learned sign language to actually TALK to people considering her reaction. So, beyond feeling a bit guilty for inadvertently causing Holly distress, Lobster Siren wants to take the time to understand Holly better - both how she knows a language lost to time, and how she is as a person. Holly, meanwhile, had pretty much all of her thoughts leave the room as soon as Lobster Siren grabbed her by the wrists and looked at her with that intense gaze, as her status of "mildly interested" very quickly spiraled into "down atrocious," and it goes from there.

Holly is a similar case to Zapple where physical intimacy makes her brain go blank, only with the main difference that she has not had any kind of physical intimacy for a good few centuries, so it is notably worse. Less touch starved and more touch drought. Also, since Holly's not the best at reading people and Lobster is not the best at communicating, for a good while Holly completely misinterpreted Lobster's complete lack of personal space as her being physically possessive, which, ah...really, only made Lobster Siren that much more attractive to Holly. As big as her ego is, it's all mostly hot air, so the idea of someone finding her valuable, someone treating her as important and worthy, even if she's not busy being a hero or a showman or whatever and just being HOLLY? To the point of them physically pulling her close, as if to say "back off, she's mine?" Oh, that gets Holly's heart racing and her brain to melt out her ears. Even when the misconception is cleared up, her immediate first thought is "okay I know you aren't actually like that and that's fine but maybe you could act like you are? for me? please? pretty please?" And Lobster Siren...is actually completely fine with that, since, as previously established, all Lobster Siren did for Holly to think that was act as her usual, lack of personal space self, so she just...deliberately does that afterwards. And Holly loves it.

As for Lobster Siren's end…she's not down as bad as Holly is, but once Holly does tell her exactly how she feels? She can't help but love her back. For one thing, Holly's one of the few people she knows who isn't either frightened of her - i.e., most of Siren Island's tourists - or babies her, and instead just…treats her with respect like an actual adult. Sure, the two aforementioned groups are getting better at that, but Holly did it right from the start and has no intention of stopping. It also helps that, even if Holly's not the best person in the world by a long shot, she is willing to try and get better, which is very admirable in Lobster's eyes. And, what ultimately ends up sealing the deal for Lobster Siren, at least when it comes to turning their friendship into an actual romance, is just how deep Holly's devotion is for her. How much Holly wants to be with her, how much she sees in her that, honestly, Lobster Siren doesn't see in herself most days, how she is 100% willing to spend the rest of her life with her, without hesitation, and without regret. It's frankly surprising how devoted Holly is to Lobster, but she finds it very sweet...if not mildly concerning at times. Again, down atrocious. Once, Holly described an elaborate fantasy she had of Lobster Siren within minutes of them first meeting to her, of her dragging Holly down to the depths and then showing her all the incredible underwater sights, holding her close to make sure she doesn't fall into the abyss of the sea, scaring off any undersea predator that dared draw near, and Lobster politely waited for her to finish before interjecting with a concerned [So did you forget the part where you need to breathe?] in sign, to which Holly went, "Huh? Oh, no, I'm a memory; I don't actually have to breathe if I want to. Why? Are you interested?"

Holly may not be much of a physical fighter, but if you cause Lobster Siren distress in any way, well...she can certainly verbally eviscerate you, and she is damn good at it, what being a former villain and all. Shantae, Bolo, and Lobster Siren are all quietly relieved that Sky and Rottytops don't like Holly enough to include her in their unofficial "if anyone talks shit about our partners we beat them to death" alliance. They fear what the world would look like if they did.

#shantae #not a quote #headcanons

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phobia-sweets · 1 year

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Hope you don't mind but can ya write Arkham-verse Scarecrow & Riddler with S/O who was a former Arkham Security Guard before they fell for them and later joined them?

after this is posted i'm rewarding (actually punishing) myself by playing iron banner

Arkhamverse! Riddler & Scarecrow x reader

Warnings / Notes: uhhhhhhhhh captivity is briefly mentioned lol and riddler is a lil bitch

SCARECROW

- Before the croc incident, Many guards avoided dealing with Jonathan more than was necessary. He knows how to get under people’s skin, he doesn’t need his toxin to scare people. People that had dealt with him in the past knew this. The Toxin just made his job easier, more effective.

- So guards took turns dealing with him so that no one had to be with him too much. Especially after he managed to poison his doctor with fear toxin he disguised as cologne.

- But you found him intirguing. Fear is a strong motivator. You knew this, working as a guard – A lot of them would try to scare patients into obedience, which worked. It obviously didn’t work on Jonathan, which frustrated some of the guards. Your approach with him was more polite, if anything.

- But it was just that all hell broke loose on arkham island when you were sick at home. You wouldn’t have even known about it if it wasn’t for the news being all about it. Of course word came from your coworkers that Crane was nowhere to be found, but a bag of his toxin and mask was laying in the sewers, where croc was. You assumed the worst.

- As far as everyone was concerned, The scarecrow – Jonathan Crane was dead. Until he showed up, his face replaced by burlap and thread.

Hiding behind barrels of what you presumed were fear toxin, you held your breath. Your colleagues always said your curiosity would be the death of you. It surely started to seem that way as you listened to Jonathan Crane’s gravelly voice as he talked to someone – a soldier? He didn’t seem the type to work with soldiers. But then again, it’s been quite a long time since he ‘died’.

“May I help you?”

In your panic, you hadn’t heard the soldier leave and footsteps approach you. Looking up, you were met with blank, milky eyes and the sight of four needles attached to a gauntlet. You’d admire the craftsmanship if it weren’t for the fact that they were dangerously close to your face.

- Were you drugged? Probably. You don’t really remember.

- what started out as captivity turned into you helping around in Gotham before his announcement of, well, feargassing Gotham.

- When did feelings join the equation? A bit before halloween. Did you make them known? Not exactly. Jonathan didn’t seem like the person to bother with feelings that weren’t fear or terror. But you swore you could catch him quietly chuckle at some of your quips or comments.

RIDDLER

- You were probably one of the only people that actually bothered with his riddles – whether you got it wrong or right, you would try to answer them. ‘Maybe it’ll keep him off my skin’ you thought. It did not.

- If anything, it made him bother you even more. If you got them wrong, he’d obviously insult you, but if you got them right…? He would compliment you as if you were a stupid child. Very demeaning.

“Mr. Nygma, I’ve brought you your food.” You said nonchalantly, setting the tray on a table. Nygma quite often refused to eat in the cafeteria – said something about being surrounded by complete morons and how he could feel his braincells dying the more he had to spend time in there. So, As you seemed to be the only guard that didn't care about his insults on your intelligence, you volunteered to be the one to bring him his food. Arkham wasn’t exactly known for bending to the patient’s wills, but as much as Edward wouldn’t attack you, no one wanted to listen to his insults.

“I have billions of eyes, Yet I live in darkness. I have millions of ears, yet only four lobes. I have no muscle, yet I rule two hemispheres. What am I?” Edward’s voice echoed.

“Ah, the… the human brain? Right?” You guessed, facing to look at edward. He simply gave a quiet “hmph.” And resumed reading his book. Turning around, you left.

-time skip to when either he escapes or you helped him escape. Why did you help him? Not even you knew how or why, but you fell for him. Hard.

- Trying to see if he felt anything towards you was hard. Especially since he would avoid answering some of your questions and being… well, himself, with his riddles and big words.

- When you began actively helping him with placing his trophies around Arkham city, bringing him whatever tools he needed, he seemed to start… relaxing in your prescense? Atleast he wasn’t as irritated in your prescense as he was before. A good sign, hopefully.

#arkhamverse scarecrow x reader #arkhamverse riddler x reader #jonathan crane x reader #the riddler x reader #scarecrow x reader #edward nygma x reader

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yooniesim · 6 months

Text

sorry I couldn't get my simblreen stuff done in time, guys 🥺

it's frustrating because I've been pushing myself to work on things since literally the beginning of the month and even before then, but I cannot finish anything- as soon as it's mostly done, I get dissatisfied with it and try something else, just to repeat the same thing. my mental health has not been the best, unfortunately the new med did not do anything to help me, and so it's been extremely difficult to enjoy things I usually do which makes it even harder. it's a shame because simblreen is usually one of my favorite times of the year and I just could not participate even though really I wanted to. I'm not going to permanently shelve anything I had wip, I'm still going to work on posting it since it's not exclusively Halloween themed anyway, and maybe there will be less pressure that way without any time limit. I've got a few that are literally done just need screenshots & thumbnails, so those will be first of course.

I hope yall had a good simblreen and will have a good Halloween too 💜 love yall

#ceci speaks #nonsims #text #delete later

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quotessharry · 2 years

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Vettel jr, (3/3)

Finally last chapter!

this is chapter 1 and this is chapter 2:))

word count: 8.3k (I got carried away)

warnings: smut, choking, unsafe sex, praise kink, age gap

Daniel arrived at the Mexican Grand Prix , his head turning around looking for specific someone. He was very well aware it’s unlikely but a little hope wouldn’t hurt. It was still practice session so he decided to keep the hope up. He tried to walk around with his signature smile on his face cause he didn’t want to cause any unnecessary gossip.

He sat down in his driver’s room, with his custom made Beats by Dr.Dre headphone listening to “I’m on fire” by Bruce Springsteen. In these past two weeks he has reviewed the same memory to the point that even God was tired of it.

He didn’t see nor heard anyone entering the room until his headphones were ripped off his head “Dude we’ve been knocking for 5 minutes, you’re gonna be late come on” Michael stood there staring down at his friend who looked like as if his ships had gone down.

Michael extended his hand and he stood up “Cmon you have a race” he shook his head but didn’t move.

“Still thinking of her?”

Daniel rubbed his eyes “I don’t know man it’s just-“ he didn’t know how to finish it

“It’s ok I understand, if you needed someone I’m here”

Both exchanged a hug and Daniel went ahead.

After the first practice he ran into Max.

Max didn’t miss the way his usual smile didn’t reach his eyes and how he seemed out of his head.

“Hello Maximus, how are you in this warm Mexico weather?” Another smile

Max rolled his eyes at the nickname habit both Daniel and her had developed for him, both being unaware that the other one was doing it “that’s what she calls me, I think she has my name saved like that”

As soon as she was mentioned, Daniel’s face basically lit up, the smile finally reached his eyes.

“Yeah? She does?”

Max got closer and whispered “you ok there?”

His face fell “is it that obvious?”

He slapped his friend’s back “don’t worry it’ll be ok”

“You know something I don’t?”

Max didn’t want to give away anything from the call “no why would I?”

He was right, why would he?

Max caught Charles in the paddock and the pair started walking. For sure the medias were very curious about why these two were such a close friend all of a sudden.

“I talked to Daniel” Max talked in a low voice, careful not to get caught by anyone

“How was he?”

“Not as good as he seems, I’ve never seen him this way”

“Neither have I, you sure she is coming? I don’t see her around”

“Yes, but she didn’t say when”

Daniel decided it was enough, he put aside all his thoughts got in the car and went for qualifying with his mind being nowhere but on the road and focused on having a good session.

It worked, at the end of the day he qualified P7, qualifying 3 positions above his teammate was a cherry on top. He got out of the car, weighted himself and took of his helmet. Team members came to him with congratulations, hugs and smiles and lastly Michael appeared, hugged him and whispered “that’s the Daniel I know, keep it up man”

Finally it was the race day, Daniel woke up in his hotel. He didn’t stand up immediately, instead his hand grabbed his phone and unlocked it only to be met with a new post by her. It wasn’t anything big, just a picture of her reading a book in library but his eyes lingered. He still didn’t move, he scanned the picture for any potential details that a normal person would miss because they don’t care enough. His finger threatened to double-tap the picture but he decided against it, locked the phone and buried his head between the soft pillows, swearing and kicking his legs like a little kid who wasn’t allowed to have chocolate on Halloween night. He was frustrated in every way that a man could be. He felt like there was no escaping the rut he was stuck in. With another swear he sat on the bed, ruffled his hair and decided to get on with the day. He knew damn well his mind wasn’t in the right place that day but he could only hope for the best.

He didn’t like the way he looked around in a hope of catching the sight of her with that flawless smile and those eyes who would look at him like- like he couldn’t even describe it but whatever it was he loved it more than he let on.

He was thankful on a busy race day no one would pay attention to him enough to interrogate what was going on. He did the routine, warmed up put on his fireproof cloth and race suit. Lastly played a song on his headphone and headed for the car with a deep breath.

She don’t know how she did it but she did it, found someone to replace her at the hospital, packed ,got a one way ticket to Mexico, called his dad and Max to tell them she has decided to come and made sure to tell them she’ll be late. Due to the schedule being tied she couldn’t have her car in Mexico but that was her least issue for now. She changed into her Mexican style off shoulder top and white pants, on her way out she caught Nina in the elevator

“I don’t know what happens but I’m more than happy you are going, was getting awkward seeing you eye fucking Daniel’s posters”

She jokingly punched her shoulder “hey I wasn’t that bad”

Nina pretended she was thinking “no, oh wait you were worse. You literally made Max Verstappen to fly here”

“That’s fair”

“But really, you made the right choice, things will go perfectly, don’t forget to tell me the news and have a safe flight”

“I will, thank you”

“Go get that boy, bet he’ll love the top” they both laughed and separated ways.

She had a night shift day before, and for some reason she was too busy that she barely got any rest let alone sleeping. Due to her luck at that time of the day the streets were empty and she didn’t have to endure horrible airport traffic. The ritual before the flight went well and she was never this excited about a first class seat because all she wanted was some decent sleep, and it didn’t take her long.

By the time she woke up, the plane was about to land.

The first person she called was her dad

“My dearest father, I have arrived”

Sebastian was still in disbelief “i still can’t believe you’re convinced let alone you’re here”

“Dad, that’s not point. I need you to come get me at the entrance I don’t have a pass”

He didn’t miss the layer of happiness in her voice, she sounded like a totally different person than two weeks ago.

“Alright alright”

“And one more thing”

“Yes?”

“Can you sneak me in?”

Seb made a face that she couldn’t see “sneak? What are you a thief?”

She rolled her eyes, unwillingly sharing the answer “I wanna surprise Dan when his race is over”

He couldn’t hide the teasing smile on his lips “oh it’s Dan now? Not Daniel?”

“Dad please, I’m gonna get the car I rented and I’ll call you ok?”

She settled for a 2015 Nissan Altima, set the location on the GPS. She could already feel her heartbeat being higher than normal and her legs were bouncing with anticipation of seeing Daniel again. The closer she got, the more questions attacked her mind, would he appreciate her? Would he like her to be there? What if he doesn’t care anymore? Or worse what if he hated her for leaving that night?

While the questions were spiraling in her mind, she called Seb. She used the time to put on some makeup and picked the red lipstick, someone knocked on window and she rolled it down, focusing mainly on doing a perfect lipstick.

“Change your sit” her dad called out

“What? Why?”

He pointed at her “you’re not me and I don’t see a pass around your neck”

They exchanged the seat and he drove the car to the parking. Her heart was thumbing loud in her chest that she thought her dad on driver’s seat can hear it.

“Hey calm down it’ll be ok”

She sat straight and shook her head, denying his statement “I’m calm”

He glanced at her and did one of his famous laughs “no you’re not, it’s just Daniel nothing to worry about”

“What if-“

“No don’t, no ifs” he interrupted her and parked the car, throwing her pass at her.

“Now get out, we got a race to attend”

When they arrived to the security, max was waiting, impatiently pacing around

“Can’t believe it took you 3 days to show up, poor boy is dying without you”

“Max what are you doing here?”

“I messaged him dad, Maxton sweetie some of us have other professions and college”

Max laughed at his new nickname and looked her up, she looked different with off shoulder Mexican style shirt, white pants, her hair tied behind her back, her face hidden behind big sunglasses and mask.

“What’s with the disguise?”

Seb sighed “she doesn’t want Daniel to see her yet”

“You know what, I’m not even gonna ask more questions”

She settled inside the motorhome in front of a tv, there was no way she would meet Danny before the race, she didn’t know what to do or what to say and she certainly didn’t intend to ruin his race.

Her eyes were glued to the screen to catch Daniel until she saw a head full of curls with headphone, her heart dropped and she gripped the chair’s handle tight. She didn’t realize he had that type of effect on her. Her throat felt tight and a tear left her eye. She knew she was overreacting but she couldn’t stop, in that moment she realized how much she had fallen in love with him.

The race started, she watched Valtteri and Max taking off until Max had the lead and she fist bumped the air, but when Daniel’s car touched Bottas’ and they both fell back in positions she couldn’t help but to scream a loud fuck, thankful no one was around to hear, after all Daniel not doing good still hurt her.

By the last lap when she realized nothing gonna change and positions are all the same way, she left the motorhome to catch Daniel (plus her dad, Max and Charles).

Max won the race, both Charles and her dad finished top 10 and she was more than happy for them but she needed to see someone else. She stood in front of the McLaren garage, sneaking glances at what was happening and waiting for drivers to show up. She fixed her big sunglasses and breathed in the air. The weather was pretty nice.

As she was waiting, Michael came out of Daniel’s side, and looked at her, then walked to her and started speaking “it’s you, I know you”

She raised her eyebrows in curiosity “oh?”

“Daniel can’t shut up about you, by the way I’m Michael”

Her chest swelled with butterflies at the thought of Daniel talking about her. She extended her hand for a handshake “yes yes I know, nice to finally meet you”

Michael looked at her thoughtfully “actually you know what, I have an idea that he might like it”

That’s how she ended up next to Daniel’s team radio, with big orange headphone over her head waiting for signal to talk. Tom, his engineer gave the last orders and signaled her to start speaking. The corner of her lips curled up at the thought of what she was about to say.

“Daniel Ricciardo what the fuck is this result? Should I rip all your posters off my wall?”

Daniel swallowed hard, the race was over and the result was not good, in fact it was very bad. As usual he said “understood” to last words and started doing the cool down lap until he heard it, her voice in his ear, for a slight second he thought he had gone delusional but no, it was her voice, in his team radio. Despite the bad result he giggled, a genuine laugh roused from his chest, his heart leaped and he felt euphoric, smiling wide under his helmet he said “enchanté, mon amour”

She laughed when she heard his famous “enchanté” followed by him calling her “my love”

With that comment a bomb exploded, in commentators room they heard a girl’s voice in a driver’s team radio and they knew they had to play it “now we are hearing some exciting words in Daniel Ricciardo’s team radio, let’s see what’s going on”

At her comment the whole garage tried to stifle a laugh, even Andreas had to use his hand not to laugh loud. The whole thing was too exciting that some team engineers told their respective drivers about it.

Daniel was shaking with excitement in his car, feeling like a giddy little boy when he parked it.

She walked out the garage, eyes searching for him.

Daniel jumped out of the car and went for weighting. Then he started walking towards the McLaren garage with big steps, undoing his helmet. She watched him coming, her heart was beating so loud that she could swore it would score a best lap. A small crowd had gathered around, all waiting to see how the moment would unravel, even some drivers hung around to see what was going to happen.

Words failed to describe the moment they both stood face to face, Daniel clumsily handed his helmet to someone and stared at her, a laugh skipped his mouth, the P12 long forgotten “it really is you” he was afraid to touch her, what if she would disappear, what if she was a picture his mind draw to distract him from a depressing result?

She laughed in return, her heart beating in her ear and her body shaking in excitement “it is really me”

Without further thinking he put his hand on her face and leaned down for a long waited kiss, without a care in the world she slipped her hand in his sweaty curls and kissed back. Oh how she has missed his soft lips, the way he would subconsciously suck her lips and his tongue dancing in her mouth, the feeling of his beard sent goosebumps all over her in the hot afternoon.

Cameras didn’t miss this moment, photographers frantically took pictures, multiple cameras captured it, fans cheered and drivers smiled at the scene. No one thought it was possible to see Daniel Ricciardo happier than how he always was but they were wrong. In that moment he was flying, her lips on his, her hands tangled between his curls as he sucked her red lipstick clean. Before pulling away completely, he leaned down and left a kiss on her bare shoulder, gaining “awww” from the audience and pulled her into a hug. Everything felt so magical, his arms wrapped around her as neither could stop smiling, she adored the way he hugged her, keeping her too close as if he was scared she would runaway.

“Oh my god what did we do?” She asked when reality hit.

“I just know I don’t regret it even though I’m gonna get buried in questions. It was totally worth it”

For last time, she stood on her tiptoe and kissed his cheek, his smile was so wide that she felt it under her lips.

“You should clean up the lipstick probably” she whispered

He touched his lips and chin, staring at the red color on his fingertips and laughed again. Anytime she heard his laugh, butterflies would go insane in her belly and her eyes rolled backwards due to the amount of joy.

“Let’s give them something to talk about huh?” Daniel said mischievously, reaching his hand and took hers, both their fingers playing with each other.

“We talk after I’m done with media duties, right?” The wink he sent had her brain going feral “yes yes we will”

Seb stood aside and watched all of this from aside, smiling at how happy his daughter looked in a long time, and beyond that happy he didn’t just sit aside and watch. She walked to him with shy smile, to prove her it’s all right he pulled her into a hug, she gladly accepted and hugged him back tightly murmuring “are you mad?”

“No why would I be?”

They separated but stayed close to each other “you look happier than ever, that’s what I care about alright?” he continued with a soft smile, not wanting to make her feel bad or ashamed that she kissed Daniel in front of him.

“Yes alright, thanks dad”

Max watched it all from the cooldown room with two others drivers, he wouldn’t mention it but he was too proud of the work he did to make the make out session happens, cherry on top was Daniel walking around with red lipstick around his mouth and chin.

Charles watched it from the garage, he was dying to see the result of his plan but didn’t want to make it obvious, when he saw the kiss he couldn’t hold in his happiness and let out a loud “yes!”

Daniel in fact got buried under questions from every interviewers, there was no sign of sadness cause of his result, he could swore he hadn’t felt happiness like this since his win in Monza. As much as he wanted to keep the whole things lowkey his happiness made him chatty and he gladly answered every question he was asked. On the other side Sebastian kept being asked what he thinks of the whole things and he said he is happy as long as her daughter is.

During one interview Daniel and George were side to side, the interviewers were so excited about what happened and they couldn’t help but to ask for driver’s reaction. George glanced over at Daniel and said “Daniel must have a big balls to go for Vettel’s daughter” followed by a laugh he continues “Danny Ric is off the market and I never got the chance, what a shame”

Daniel turner to him and patted his back, laughing histrically.

After the media duty and before going for debrief, she got to Daniel and told him about Max and Charles, that how Daniel made his way towards the RedBull garage to see Max. As he approached he spotted Charles there, without replying to their greeting he crushed both men in a tight hug, smiling so wide that his cheeks hurt.

“Mate you’re kinda suffocating us” Max barely made out a sentence due to how hard Daniel was hugging him.

“Daniel we have a contract to drive” Charles growled, trying to talk louder.

Daniel finally let them go, still not talking but only smiling widely.

“What’s the reason for the sudden affection?” Max asked, raising eyebrows at him.

“She told me what you two did, man I’m speechless, didn’t see it coming, I don’t know how to thank you both”

Charles giggled at what he was about to say “ I mean next time we’re racing you can let me pass without a battle “

Max made a face and looked at him “that’s genius, I can say for sure that you are not stupid” he couldn’t help himself, he had to mention his famous team radio, the sentence costed him a fist to his shoulder by Charles.

“Now let’s not get carried away guys”

“Oh my you three should have a threesome, I’d just watch” she announced at the sight of her favorite trio of drivers, staring at them fondly.

“I’m too jealous to share you with two more men I refuse” Daniel flirted, happy he didn’t need to do it secretly.

Charles and Max made a disgusting face at them “already being so possessive? You haven’t even taken her on a date” Max joked, acting like he wasn’t happy for them.

“That doesn’t change anything, she is still my girlfriend”

Her heart teared up at his answer, he just called her his girlfriend, it sounded so smooth that it felt like he has been saying it for years. She blinked hard to contain herself while her brain kept screaming “oh my god”.

Daniel was so satisfied with his answer when he saw her expression, her eyes grew big and she stared at him like the first time she saw him. He loved when she looked at him like that, it made his chest fluttered. His brain went completely empty when he took her sight again, he felt like he just wanted to stay there and look at her till eternity.

She made her way to the small group, pulling Max into a hug “I’m so proud of you Maximus you did well” this time Max couldn’t hide his happiness and gladly hugged her back, they hugged for few more seconds and she let go. Charles felt like a little boy when she hugged him as well saying “you did good too”

He returned the hug tighter “Ferrari should hire you as hype woman, you’re so good at it”

Daniel jokingly separated her and Charles, causing everyone to erupt into laughter.

“Ok you two piss off, I’m gonna spent time with my precious girl”

Her brain locked up like the wheels of a F1 car, his words switched on something in her, her stomach flipped and in that moment she knew she would be on her knees for this man right then and there, it took everything in her to play it off cool and follow Daniel to his driver’s room.

Both threw themselves on the sofa, Daniel closed his eyes and took a few deep breathes to try and get some rest before going for debriefing. She laid her head on her arm, shamelessly staring at the man in front of her, a small smile tucked at the corner on his lips, his Adam’s apple bobbed when he swallowed and she wanted nothing more than to kiss his perfect neck.

“It’s rude to stare sweet, you know that right?” Daniel teased, eyes still closed. He knew what he was doing with all these praises thrown at her.

“Who cares you’re too handsome not to, can’t help it”

Daniel’s hand snuck around her neck and pulled her close without raising his head. He opened his eyes and stared at hers.

She was losing it at this close distance. She brought her free hand up and touched his face, his beard tickling her fingertips but she didn’t stop, giggling softly when she ran her fingers over the bridge of his nose.

Daniel’s gaze intensified, her heart raced when she saw his serious face expression, she got closer to kiss him but his grip tightened at the back of her neck, keeping her in place. He frowned “uh uh” he whispered in low voice, still not getting enough of looking at her face. He saw the way her face changed and her breath hitched in her throat, gulping as if to regain her calmness.

She felt like she was out of breath, something in the way his hand was gripping her neck, made her feel things. He moved his hand and tangled the pile of her at her neck, pushing her closer, whispering “come here” before catching her lips in a kiss.

A breath left her chest when he kissed her, her hand desperately grasped at his biceps when his hand pulled her closer as if it was possible, to deepen the kiss. He tried so hard to contain himself but he lost it and bite down on her lower lip causing her to whine into his mouth. She felt a wave of pleasure going straight to her core. She broke the kiss and dragged wet kisses along his jaw, wanting to make her man feeling good. Daniel threw his head backwards to give her more space, his hand left her neck and landed on her back, softly rubbing up and down. She left small kisses on his neck that had him breathing heavily and gulping hard. She stopped by his ear, her finger tracing the vein popping out, she whispered “who left the blue vein of your throat unkissed, mio caro?”

Daniel’s flattered open at her last word, heart beating rapidly that he could hear it in his ears, slight blush made it’s way to his cheeks.

“Daniel you have 5 minutes to come to debriefing” Michael shouted, not opening the door to find them in that position.

He purses his lips, licking them wet “you’re so mean, how am I supposed to go out with a boner?”

She shook her head “I’m no better than you ok, just wear a long shirt”

“See you after I’m done?”

She put her hand on his hand “Of course, I’ll just go out to walk around a little”

She walked at least 5 laps before catching her dad, both hugging as she congratulated him on his decent result.

“I didn’t see you around, were you with Daniel?”

She had to get used to talks like this “yes, we were talking with Max and Charles” she tried not to make it obvious what they were doing before and the effort was successful.

Seb decided not to question her any further “ok honey I’m going to my hotel, you’re not going back tonight are you?”

She laughed, flash back from two weeks ago rushed to her “no no I’m not”

“Hey Seb”

Daniel’s voice filled her ear, he rushed to them greeting Seb firstly.

“How was debriefing?” Seb asked

Daniel made a face and replied “a bit difficult considering my result today”

The older man touched his shoulder “don’t worry about it you’ll bounce back”

She was more than happy to see things are not awkward between them.

“I’ll see you both later alright?”

“Yes dad of course”

“See you later man”

Daniel turned to her “now it’s only two of us”

He stood in front of her, smiling like an idiot, the sun was about to set and the weather wasn’t as hot as before. Sun was behind Daniel and he looked like an angel sent from above, she looked at him smiling just as idiotic. In that moment they looked like two idiots in love and that’s exactly what they were.

George was passing by when he saw these two, as ready as he was he took out his phone, with wide smile he snapped a shot saying “I would have told you to get a room but you two are adorable”

She turned her head with a cheeky grin “you’re welcome to join”

“No you’re not” Daniel fastly disagreed with poker face.

George laughed at them and walked away, Daniel screamed “SEND ME THE PICS RUSSEL”

Both of the men laughed, at the sound of his laughter, she could swore she fell in love even more.

“So what do you say I take you on a date tonight?”

Her eyes widened “it’s not necessary you have a race next week, you need to rest”

“So? I have a race after that, it’s triple header” he took her hand, lacing their fingers “it’s fine by me, come on we need our first date”

How could she resist saying no to the man like him? She couldn’t.

“Ok we will go, but we should stop by the hotel first, because I haven’t checked in yet”

She took her time in her room and changed into a mini skirt. Daniel got rid of his black skinny jean and changed into one of his shortest shorts with a baggy shirt. He finally knocked and the she opened the door, eyes immediately roaming each other.

Her eyes caught the sight of his thigh tattoo and she couldn’t stop staring.

Daniel was mesmerized by the way her tight skirt was hugging her hips and her legs was on full display. He took one step forward, his hands softly grabbed her waist and he leaned in. She put her hand on his tattooed thigh, loving the smooth skin. She bit her lips and slid her hand up until she was met with the hem of his underwear. Daniel closed his eyes and grabbed her hand, stopping the motion “bad girl, not here”

That word went straight to her corecand she felt something, in that close distance Daniel could see every little reaction her face made to his comment. She shook her head in silence, afraid her voice would betray her.

Both intertwined their hands and left the elevator to the exit. It was getting late but neither of them cared as they started laughing loud and talking about anything and everything. Daniel led them into cobblestone and narrow streets that no one would ever walk. She was loving the empty alleys, moon shine and Daniel’s hand gripping hers tightly. If she could, she would stop the time then and there, everything felt perfect and it felt so right to be with him.

Daniel was bursting with happiness, two weeks ago he was in his Monaco apartment, staring at the sea and thinking of the girl he would never meet but here he was, gripping her hand so tightly that he felt if he let go she will disappear. Going astray deep into the city and getting lost in the bliss of love. After they passed few more alleys they heard the music and walked towards the sound only to be met with a small restaurant with tables outside.

“I wouldn’t mind to eat something”

“Sure, I won’t tell Michael what you ate don’t worry”

They took their sit behind the empty table for two outside, A black lady made her way to their tables.

They both had zero idea how to order a food in Spanish, the lady looked at the way Daniel was trying his hardest to articulate a sentence.

“Ma boy, you ain’t gonna get it right hit me up in English”

They giggled in relief and Daniel started speaking “thank god, we want a bottle of Carignan and two tacos”

“Coming right away kiddos”

She put her hand under her chin to support her head and lovingly stared at Daniel “this place is so nice, I’m glad we are doing this tonight”

“What can I say anything for my girl”

There he goes with his sweet words and soft voice, and all she could think of was the way he will be in bed and now her inside was a mess as well as her underwear.

She blinked lazily and picked her glass, gulping down whatever was inside and put the glass on the table. Daniel smiled in victory and reached his hand, touching the side of her face affectionately without a fuck that they were in public “you love it when I talk to you like that don’t you?”

She leaned into his warm touch “yes I do”

They were fast to stop it all when they saw their order coming on their way. The smell made their mouth water and without further comment they dug their food. Everything was better than they expected, the pair silently stole glances from each other, drunk on wine and each other’s company. When they were done, the music changed to Lambada and two people stepped in with full costume, hips swaying and bodies spinning expertly with the music rhythm. The music mixed with people’s voice and laughter and some dancing felt like something out of books in late 80s.

“We should dance Danny” she screamed through the loud music

“I don’t know how to dance”

She didn’t care, she stood up and took his hand, bringing him to the middle. The couple made room for them and they started dancing ridiculously, gaining a laugh from audience. She put her hand on his back, his hand landed on her side. They tried to copy the dance mildly successfully and at the end they managed to do a nice spin. Next song brought more people in, they filled their wine glasses and danced until drop of sweat made its way to their bodies and they were out of breath.

Once they were back to the dark narrow alleyways, they were giggling like high schoolers.

In one move Daniel pushed her, her back softly touched the wall, their face so close together, he whispered “pretty” and kissed her, soft and passionate. He felt like he had enough, he held it inside in past two weeks and he couldn’t keep it anymore he stopped the kiss, his thumb tracing her lips when he said “I fucking love you so so much”

Suddenly emotions rushed to her and she felt a lump in her throat. She successfully swallowed and found her voice to speak “oh god, I fucking love you so so much”

The next thought wasn’t too hard to read, they both sped up to get to their hotel as soon as possible, impatient to have each other out of clothes. When they were in elevator she felt like she can’t no longer take the tension.

As soon as they stepped into the room, first thing they did was getting rid of each other’s clothes. Daniel took his shirt, his hands immediately grabbed the hem of her shirt and soon that was gone. He raised his eyebrows when he saw her braless but couldn’t deny‌ how much that turned him on.

He felt like he can’t stay away from her skin for a second, his hand softly grabbed her throat and he started leaving marks, whispering against her neck “Please tell me you’re on pill”

“ I have IUD” she managed to get the words out but it felt too hard with Daniel’s finger tracing her neck while kissing it.

His head fell on her shoulder and his hands wandered anywhere he could reach, her fingers dug into his back when his lips touched her neck again, his fingers caressed her side boob and she felt frustrated second by second. He started sucking on her soft skin, deep breathing her scene that had him going crazy.

Her hand made its way to his curls, tugging softly and swearing under her breath. Daniel couldn’t hold himself back and breathed her in, murmuring “you smell like a rose”

She threw her head back involuntarily, giving him more space. As he continued his soft kisses, his hand unzipped the skirt, the piece pooling around her feet, he pulled down her fully wet underwear, touched the wet spot there and licked his finger, she just watched and felt her come running down her thighs. He gave up on her neck, his hand gripped the back of her head and kissed her, rough and wet, she gladly welcomed his tongue and sucked on his lips “you are so gorgeous damn” every word that left his mouth, had her going insane. She dared to pull down his shorts and underwear, both finally fully naked. Her white skin was in perfect contrast with his tanned body. She started kissing his neck,needing desperately to leave her mark on his perfect neck. Her hand itchedto touch the skin ,her fingertips tracing his astronaut tattoo. The sight of him all naked with his tattoos on display took her breath away. She dragged her lips down until she was on her knees in front of him, eyes looking up at the way he was looking at her with honey eyes full of lust. Her hand pumped him few times, she kissed the pre-cum that was dripping, he thrusted his hip forward and she took it all so beautifully and perfect that his eyes rolled backward “that’s it, you’re doing great girl” his praise had her sucking his cock faster. Nothing compared with the feeling of her soft lips wrapped around his hard cock, sucking like her life depended on it. With another force he had her on her feet and pushing her backwards until her back touched the wall, he sucked her collar bone and went lower, she writhed beneath him, desperate to get something but his strong hands pushed her back.

“Daniel I- oh fucking hell” her sentence long forgotten when she felt his teeth on her sensitive aroused nipple, his free hand massaging the other, she felt desperate when he found her sensitive spot, she tried hard to keep her voice low but when he did a hard suck, a loud moan left her throat, he smirked in victory and let go, burying his head in the valley between her breast “I love every inch of you so damn much” his voice laced with lust when he whispered more praises for her. He was up kissing her again, teeth digging into her lips when he pushed her towards the bed. She looked like an angel, sitting on the edge of the bed, thighs painfully rubbing together in hope of creating a friction and a relief. He just stood there and watched the way she was needy for him, she looked up, locking eyes, a new found arrogance in her eyes, smirking at him. He kneeled in front of her, softly grabbing her leg, his hand rubbing her calf, he turned his head and kissed her skin, coaxing a whine out of her mouth and made him dizzy with lust “god, the voices you make is driving me nuts”

She arched her back when he licked the sweet spot under her knees “glad to know- fucking hell” she was caught off guard when he wrapped his arms around her waist and pulled her towards himself, only an inch apart from her thigh “complete your sentence, you can do that for me right?”

She didn’t think she could, her mind clouded with his presence and what he was doing that she didn’t think she had it in her to speak “glad to know it worked”

Daniel smiled at her proudly “my good girl” he licked off her cum off her thighs, nudging her to open her legs further

“This is a dream come true” she didn’t know what made her to confess this. Daniel took a moment to thrive on the fact that she had a wet dream about him.

“Oh yeah? do tell, what was I doing?” he didn’t do anything, just watched her, waiting for her to continue. She threw her head back, hiding her face “you were rubbing me-fuck just like that” she cried out when his finger made contact with her wet pussy, fingers rubbing her with pressure but he stopped, she whined desperately “why did you stop?”

“If you stop talking, I’ll stop” he stated as a matter of fact, he knew he was being a big tease and her reactions encouraged him to go on.

“Then you slipped a finger inside, oh yes! Don’t stop” his finger slipped in easily, thrusting few times before adding a second finger “is this what you wanted all night? My fingers in you? This is why you’ve been a needy little thing all night?” His words had her wet more, she felt herself gaping around his fingers. Soon his mouth joined in, his tongue ruthlessly flicking her clit, sending jolts of electricity all over her body. She arched her hip involuntarily and in one move, he had her pinned against the sheet unable to move. Her hands grasping the bedsheets when he curled his finger and she screamed “harder! Fuck” but he didn’t feel like listening, he let his fingers rest and he continue sucking on her lazily. She said fuck it in her mind “I beg you Daniel, please”

“My baby wanna come?”

She shook her head but it wasn’t enough, he curled his fingers once more to urge her answer “yes! God yes please, so bad”

He finally increased his speed, soon enough felt her walls closing in around his fingers and she came with a moaning his name rapidly. He didn’t let go, he kept his mouth on her and licked her clean till the last drop. He climbed on the bed and flipped her on her stomach, without protesting she let him handle her, he touched her pussy, causing her ass to jump, next his hands lifted her hips and pressed her face into the pillow. He stood back and watched, she looked like a goddess in that position.

His big hands spread across her ass cheeks, when he saw how wet she was again, he leaned in and left a kiss on her wetness, she hissed at how sensitive she was but she needed this, she needed him to fill her up.

He positioned himself and thrusted, feeling how tight she was around his cock “you’re so tight, no one’s ever fucked you this good huh?” She didn’t bother to answer, too lost in the feeling of him finally filling her up.

His hand curled around her throat, tightening until her eyes went black with pleasure, her own hand landing on top of him to encourage the act, he thrusted deep and suddenly stopped, loosening his grip on her throat, she swore she could cry, she wanted nothing more for him to go on. His touched his her side and back, watching the way she crumpled the sheet in her hand. The tip of his cock robbed against her almost torturously “answer me darling, no one’s ever fucked you this good huh?” She felt tears in her eyes and bite down in her lips, barely forming a sentence “no”

He finally thrusted in hard enough that her whole body moved “no what?”

“No one’s ever fucked me this good Danny”

He flipped her over, needing to see her face anytime he would fuck her. She opened her legs, waiting for him to thrust again, sighing in pure relief when he rode into her, she hissed in pain and pleasure with each thrust, her eyes peered at him, sweat dripping of his body, curls stuck to his forehead making him look absolutely sexy.

His hand landed on her belly, gripping hard to keep her down “that’s it baby, taking me so well, you love it?”

Her eyes fluttered close as she replied “yes! Fuck yes I love it, please” she didn’t know what she was begging for but she couldn’t stop. He loved the way he was inside her, perfect and wet, the thought made his cock twitched and he knew he was close, he thrusted deeper and rougher until he spilled inside her. Her loud moan turned into small desperate voices and he knew she was close. In an attempt his thumb started rubbing the bundle on nerve on her pussy, tears running down her face when she came hard around him “shhh it’s ok you did well, that’s my girl” She let out a sob when she heard his last words “god Daniel I love you”

One more thrust had her breath hitched in her throat, and he pulled down. Laying next to her on the bed, both breathing and panting heavily.

“You ok? Was I too rough?” Daniel asked, leaving a kiss on her cheek.

“Oh my god, that was the best sex I ever had” she answered, dragging herself on top of him, hiding her head in crook of his neck shyly.

He giggled, his hand tangling at her hair “I’m glad you enjoyed, we should do this often”

Her laugh was stiffed in his neck “yes we should”

She brought her head up, staring at him “please tell me my dad isn’t in next room”

“No he is in another floor, Max made sure of that”

They laid like that in bed, complete silence, pressed against each other skin to skin. Both sweaty and smelly.

“How about I run a bath for us? You know I’m not quite ready to sleep yet” Daniel still didn’t know when he will see her again and he preferred not to dwell on that fact yet and just enjoy their first night fully.

“You know what I would love that”

She rolled off him and he got up, making his way to the bathroom running the water while pouring shampoo to make a bubble bath. She laid on her back, enjoying the feeling of sheets against her naked form. Daniel walked out when he saw her like that, spread out against sheet, looking all pretty and gorgeous, bruises starting to form due to how hard his fingers gripped her had his stomach twitching. He stood there and watched and got embarrassingly hard again “you know what I can totally get used to seeing this, actually I take it back because I’m having a situation”

When she saw him walking out, looking like a fucking Adonis, she wasn’t doing any better.

She followed her into the bathroom, her eyes widened at the sight of bubbly bath

“You like it? I’m so proud of it”

“Yeah definitely more proud of this than your P12, sorry too soon?”

Daniel clenched his chest faking a pain “damn, right in the heart”

He got in first, followed by her. She sat with her back pressed against his chest, he positioned himself so she’d be comfortable, with his hand around her waist, caressing her belly.

She couldn’t hide the smile forming on her lips at the touch of his hands, she looked up, still in complete awe at how handsome he was. She nuzzled her head against his chest “you’re so handsome Daniel Ricciardo”

“And you are so beautiful, Vettel jr”

“That’s my official name now huh”

“You bet your pretty ass it is”

They fell into a comfortable silence, but her mind was racing with questions, the same issue she talked with Max was still there nonetheless.

“Daniel?”

He hugged her tighter, leaving a kiss on her head “yes?”

“We can make it work right?”

He wasn’t ready for this conversation but it was inevitable, might as well get it out of the way.

“Of course we will, i don’t care what it takes but I believe we can and we will make it work, I can always come over to you cause I obviously have more free time, you can come to Australia or Monaco or even my house in LA anytime you have the time” he cupped her cheeks, making sure she fully believes everything he said.

She woke up as hungry as a bear, last night’s activity had her craving food like crazy. She tried her best to sneak in her room, put on new clothes and making her way to elevator, hand in hand with Daniel. Max and Charles with her dad were the only people left, when they arrived Max was already sitting down.

“Hello you two” he turned to her, teasing smile on his lips “you weren’t too loud last night, I didn’t hear you”

There was no secret that she got embarrassed, she exchanged a look with Daniel and they decided to play along.

“Mate you have no idea, she was so fucking loud”

She shook her head, speaking seriously “can confirm, I was there”

“We should tell Paris that her hotel’s walls works perfect”

“Why we should say that to Paris Hilton?” Charles asked, arriving mid conversation. This was the second time he was arriving in the middle of conversation that she didn’t want to repeat, was almost becoming a thing.

“I was telling them I didn’t hear them last night” Max took the duty to keep him up to date.

“Oh” was all he could manage to say, caught off guard by the topic. They were all saved when Seb showed up and they could finally order breakfast.

She was in such a hurry to consume food as fast as she could, Charles noticed and leaned across the table “I take it last night was intense?”

She choked on her coffee and lightly shoved Charles. On the other side Sebastian looked like he had a traumatizing experience “why, just why did I hear that”

Daniel was choking on his pancake from laughing too hard, she just wanted the earth to swallow her alive, Max and Charles were having the time of their life watching it all. Yet deeply they were happy their matchmaking worked out.

Few years after

Daniel paced around in his Monaco apartment, Max was looking at him with that intensity in his eyes.

“Mate sit down nothing bad will happen, you’re giving me headache with walking constantly”

Daniel turned to him, stress and frustration written all over his face “what if they don’t accept it? We waited so long for this, to finally share this house”

“I know that better than anyone, but it will be fine ok just sit down, she is a Harvard graduate doctor nothing to worry about”

They made it through Daniel’s awful luck, his championship, her entire med school and graduation. Even though she couldn’t spent a lot of time in Monaco, she still had stuffs in his house, he wanted to be reminded of her anytime he was alone.

The door finally opened and she walked right in, standing in the middle of the room, her face beaming with happiness.

“They accepted! I’m a part time surgeon and officially a physician for F1, you guys gonna get tired of seeing me”

While Daniel was in pure awe, Max used to time to give her a hug and congratulate her.

Daniel hugged her as hard as he could, not quite believing after all she was finally with him throughout the whole year.

--------------------

anddd this is it! I hope you enjoyed reading it as much as I enjoyed writing it:)))

Tag list: @dreamer-grl @ccloaned @rosee-sensuelle @itsjustmyopinionf1 @flyingmushroomss

#daniel ricciardo #danny ric #daniel ricciardo one shot #daniel ricciardo x reader #f1 #mclaren #formula 1 #redbull #renault #charles leclerc #max verstappen #sebastian vettel #george russell

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emilou-keen-gear · 6 months

Text

Another Halloween Story

Writing Prompt: A child actress turned cult leader feels her power slipping and she needs to gain control over her following again.

Title: Don’t Walk Behind a Strange Cult

Characters: Mark Beaks and others that aren’t as important

Word Count: Approx. 3200

It was on a Monday when the leaders of the Children of the Underneath League Training group approached Mark Beaks. Normally Mark Beaks would never remember what day of the week it was since it wasn’t like he actually worked—ew—and it was only because he went to pick up a package from the post office—an important package that had some imported shirts for him—that he found out it was closed due to Columbus Day—What the duck? Is that really a holiday?—so it was closed that Monday.

So it was a Monday, and Mark Beaks decided to go in to the office at Waddle Inc just because he was super miserable and if he was paying his employees money, then they were going to be as miserable as he was.

“Sir, there is a…group of people here to see you,” his secretary—he thought her name was Janice?—said over the phone system. “They will not tell me why and they don’t have an appointment, but they insist upon seeing you.”

“I don’t want to see them,” Beaks whined, spinning in his chair. “I want to see Richard from HR. Richard’s a good guy. Is Richard there?”

“There is no Richard in HR,” Janice said.

“What’s his name? He’s a big guy. A polar bear or something. Has pictures of all his…uh…family around his desk. Has an accent,” Beaks described.

“You mean Julio?” Janice asked.

“Yeah, that’s the guy. I call him Richard,” Beaks said. “He loves it. Is he at his desk? Send him over to me.”

“Julio went home sick,” Janice said. “In fact, a lot of people are feeling sick. I think there’s some sort of flu going on.”

“Urg,” Beaks growled in frustration. “So, everyone’s going home?”

“Most of everyone, sir,” Janice said.

“Fine. Send in the strangers,” Beaks relented.

“Okay, sir,” Janice said.

“Thanks Janice,” Beaks said.

“It’s Susan,” Susan said.

Beaks sighed. Names were hard, okay. How was he expected to remember so many people’s names? It’s not like they’re important information or else he would be posting everyone’s names on Twitter. And their phone numbers. And addresses. A lot of people got very angry. That’ll show him for being helpful.

The door to his office opened up and three men—or women, he couldn’t tell at that moment—walked inside. They wore long, dark grey robes that covered them from head to toe. Other than their noses and mouths, he couldn’t see any distinguishing features—thus why he couldn’t tell their genders. He wasn’t being insensitive. For once.

“How can I help you gentle….people?” Beaks asked, slumping over his desk. If he had hope that these strangers could cheer him up, those hopes fell faster than Waddle stocks after the one incident with Gizmoduck. Party people usually didn’t wear long, woolen robes as if they were monks. Perhaps they were monks.

Oh, feathers. Were they a non-profit organization asking for money? That was even worse than party-poopers.

“We are the leaders to an organization called Children of the Underneath League Training, and are seeking your help for—“

“I’m gonna cut you off there, pal,” Beaks said, opening up one of his gaming apps and started playing. “Don’t tell anyone, but Waddle is going bankrupt. We can’t afford to pay our employees let alone donate to your little ‘cause’.”

“What!?”

That’s when Mark Beaks realized that the phone speaker system was still on.

“It’s okay, Janice. That was a lie to quickly get rid of these jokers,” Beaks said into the speaker. “No offense, okay guys.”

The three people in the robes looked confused.

Over the speaker came a four-letter word, then a three-letter one, a couple more four-letter, a seven letter and then a few that Beaks wasn’t sure how to spell.

“I think you have the ‘flu’, Janice,” Beaks said. “Take the day off.”

“Again, it’s still Susan.”

“I sign your paycheck,” Beaks finished before making sure the speaker was off this time. He looked up at the robed figures. “You’re still here. Go away. I’m not giving you any money.”

“Uh…we’re not here to ask for a donation,” the one in front said, his voice deep and chilling. “We’d actually like to hire you.”

“Hire? I’m totally a billionaire—or at least I was but that’s not the point—so I doubt your pitiful organization could afford me,” Mark Beaks said, turning his chair around. Then something very heavy landed on his desk. Curiosity got the better of him. He glanced around his chair. There was a brick of gold now sitting on his desk.

“This is just your sign-on bonus,” the man in the robe said, looking smug. “We can talk salary later.”

“Uh…oh…what…is it that you want me to do?” Beaks said, trying not to stare—or for that matter, drool—at the brick of gold.

“We want you to promote our ‘organization’,” the main robe-wearer said. He used the air quotes very strangely. Something about it felt sinister.

“Promote?” Beaks tried to pick up the gold. His wimpy, little phone-pressing muscles weren’t capable.

“On the social media.”

Beaks perked up. “Well, you came to the right bird. What you aiming for? Facebook? Twitter? Instagram? Snapchat? Tumblr? Pinterest? Twitch?—“

“Uh, are all of these social media?” It was said with the tone of someone over forty who had no idea what the Internet was capable of.

“I’m not done yet,” Beaks said. “WhatsApp? Linkedln? Youtube? TikTok? Reddit? Quora? Or are you looking for something less domestic because I’m also familiar with a few apps from other countries.”

The three robed strangers looked startled then the leader laughed. “It seems we came to the right person. We’d like to be on as many of these social medias as we can.”

“Good choice,” Beaks said, brushing any of his instincts that told him he was bad news. Especially that guy’s laugh. Chilling. But, hey, he wasn’t one to judge. “Looking for donations? Helping out…children, I guess?”

“Actually, we’re more looking for recruits,” the robed man said. “Our numbers have…dwindled over the centuries, and we need to bring in some new blood. We have a special guest coming for the convergence and we don’t want to disappoint him.”

“Alright, a convention,” Beaks said.

“No, the conver—“ one of the other robed figures started to correct but their companion stopped them in mid-sentence.

“Let’s get you set up. First I’ll need your email—you dudes have email, right?—and we’re going to get you a new phone, because we’re going to need all the memory for all those apps,” Beaks said. “This is going to turn out great.”

At first, it did not. It turned out that despite the word “children” being in their name, the Children of the Underneath League Training was only a bunch of old people in robes who went on nature hikes, collected dried plants, and read ancient books. At least they had some cool tattoos and some interesting gothic art. But that wasn’t going to be enough to draw the in-crowd.

It took Beaks a few weeks to get the Children to understand what exactly cool was. And although the members all wore those weird robes, Beaks managed to work around that. It just took a few pictures with some local celebrities, persuading the Children to perform a few Internet challenges and a lot of work on his part, and soon, the Children of the Underneath was trending.

Things went it a blur after that. Not only was Beaks in charge of organizing parties several times a week all over the country, but he had to post several times a day just to keep up with the demand from all the followers. On top of that, but the Children of the Underneath’s member numbers multiplied over a hundred times.

“We’ve never had so many members,” the leader of the Children said with tears in his hooded eyes. “Our special Eldritch guest will be so happy when he comes to the convergence.”

“Ah, not more old people,” Beaks muttered under his breath. There was nothing harder than trying to sell wrinkles, liver spots, and the smell of Bengay as cool. But he was Mark Beaks, and he did just that.

“I’ve been told that all the hotels in the city are filled to the brim by our new recruits. This convergence will be the best ever,” the leader said. “We’ll have so much of an offering that no doubt our Master will be able to stay…forever.”

“Look, I’ve told you, that creepy, mysterious voice may work when it’s Halloween and we’re doing spooky postings, but try to keep it low-key, okay?” Beaks said. “And now that you mentioned that convention thingy, you still haven’t told me anything about it. We have a date and time, and I know it’s here in Duckburg, but you haven’t shown me the venue. Are there going to be vendors? Entertainment? Food trucks? How much are you charging for tickets? Is this for members only or are you opening it up to the public?”

The leader looked nervous. “The convergence is for the Children only. We will not allow outsiders to witness our sacred rituals.”

Beaks had often wondered if the Children were a religious group and he never quite figured that out. On one hand, they had sacred rituals and secret texts and old fashion quotes with words that ended with “eth” and such. But on the other, they didn’t seem all that concerned about making money.

“Can I at least take a look at the venue?” Beaks said. “I’ve gotten a lot of messages from your new members asking where you’re going to meet for the convention. There are not many places in Duckburg that can handle that many people.”

“I suppose we must divulge the location of the convergence and ritual,” the leader said. “It is in the woods at this latitude and longitude.” The leader gave him a neon pink sticky note.

“The woods?” Beaks said, skeptical. “Oh, so this is like a camping thing. You’re going to bond with all your members in nature. That’s cool. That kind of thing was trending a few years back, but I think it can make a great return.” His fingers raced across the phone, typing out the series of new messages. “Your members are going to have a great time. Make sure you take a lot of pictures and send them to me so I can post them.”

“You’re not coming?” For once, the leader sounded frantic.

“Yeah, me and nature, we don’t mix well,” Beaks said. “So it ain’t gonna happen.”

“But we need you.”

“You’ll do great without me,” Beaks said with a pat on the man’s shoulder.

“But we need you for the ritual,” the leader said. “You must come. You’re the key to the Summoning. If we must use another, the Master will not be as pleased.”

“Oh, come on. There must be someone else who can take my place,” Beaks said, feeling irritated. Never had the Children acted so needy.

“It must be you, for you reek of selfishness and arrogance, the seasoning that is needed to sate our master’s hunger…I mean, our guest has been looking forward to meeting you.” The man’s tone changed so quickly, he could get a job as a voice actor.

“Then let’s schedule a dinner date,” Beaks said, feeling as if this conversation was getting stale.

“We’ll pay you. Three times your sign-on price,” the leader said urgently.

Beaks didn’t have to think about it. For that much gold, he could handle a bit of roughing it.

After shaking hands, Beaks headed out of the Children of the Underneath League Training’s office while typing on his phone. He had been making so many social media posts that he was starting to get carpal tunnel syndrome in both hands and he had visited his chiropractor several times because he was always bowed over the phone. It was for this reason that he wasn’t looking where he was going and tripped over something and fell to the floor. The phone went flying and landed in a fish tank that was in the front foyer.

“Oh, man. It’s going to be a pain to get another phone prepped with all those apps,” Beaks said, looking morosely at the phone sinking to the bottom.

A tentacle reached out and snatched the phone, pulling it into a dark niche within the tank.

“Huh, I didn’t know they had an octopus in this thing,” Beaks said, taking a look at the tank. Now that he mentioned it, he hadn’t taken a really good look at the office at all. He was always so busy with his phone that he never looked up.

And then he took in the décor with unfiltered eyes, no distractions, no phones, no talking. And he gasped.

“Oh Hell,” he whispered because that’s where he might as well be.

Darkness and torture instruments were everywhere. Depictions of long, thick tentacles reaching out of a dark abyss were everywhere. Paintings of tentacles grabbing people and pulling them to a waiting maw full of razor-sharp teeth covered most of the walls. And the largest and center-piece was a painting of him, standing with his arms spread apart with a serene look on his face and a glowing phone in one hand. Behind him was a throat filled with teeth spiraling down to the stomach. A tentacle was beginning to wrap around his waist.

“Oh, Hell,” he said again and fled.

***

When Beaks finished his story, he collapsed on the bottom bunk, feeling a cold sweat make him shiver.

“Why are we even talking to this guy?” Louie demanded. “He’s a bad guy. He tried to destroy Gizmoduck several times, and steal Scrooge’s money. Let’s kick him to the curb. He can figure out how to get out of his own problems.” “I might concur except for the fact that if we don’t do something, thousands of innocent people might be killed,” Huey said. “This is bad. This is really bad.”

“Really? We’re actually going to believe that there’s a monster living underneath Duckburg?” Louie asked.

“I always knew there was something under Duckburg,” Dewey added.

“After all we’ve seen, I’m not going to doubt anything,” Huey said. “But what kind of monster did you say it was?”

“Uh…I donno. It was an elderly one,” Beaks said. “I know that totally doesn’t sound scary, but you should have seen the pictures.”

“Do you mean an Eldritch?” Huey guessed.

“Oh, yeah. I guess that’s it,” Beaks said. “Is that a really, really, really old monster?”

“He’s not wrong,” Dewey said.

“Try older-than-humankind old,” Huey said. “This is really, really bad.”

“This sounds so cool,” Dewey said. “We should see if Webby wants to help us.” “We may need more help than that,” Huey said. “This doesn’t sound like a job for three kids. It sounds like a job for Gizmoduck.”

“Oh, I already tried him,” Beaks said with a sigh. “His mom yelled at me. In English and Spanish. I—I’ve never been more scared in my entire life.”

Huey was rubbing his head. “How did you get yourself in this this situation?”

“They offered me a lot of money. Who could say no?” Beaks said with a shrug.

Louie nodded in understanding.

“I wouldn’t have worked for them if I had known they were a cult,” Beaks said.

“They’re the Children of the Underneath League Training,” Huey said, his voice turning agitated. “Their names acronym is literally CULT.”

“Look, we can point fingers later. You have got to save me. They’re going to sacrifice me to bring this monster here, and I really don’t want to die,” Beaks said. “I’m sure they’ll find me. You have got to do something.”

Huey had been typing on his computer. “Okay, I found a wiki on this group. Apparently the Eldritch demon they worship is called Gnom-Gnom, and he is powered by the sheer numbers of his worshippers. The more people that appear to his summoning, the larger and more powerful he becomes. The summoning ritual includes a sacrifice that is filled with greed and selfishness. Well, that’s you Beaks.”

“So you’re going to hide me until this convention thing is over, right?” Beaks said, huddling on the bed.

“Yeah, sure, but that won’t fix the problem. They’ll be able to find another sacrifice that’s just as greedy and selfish as Beaks,” Huey said.

“I can name several just inside Duckburg,” Louie said with a smirk.

“Probably the easiest way to solve the problem is to make sure nobody goes to the convergence,” Huey said. “We need to warn everyone. Tell them what’s going on.”

“And that won’t do anything,” Louie said with a roll of his eyes. “Here, allow me. I know exactly how to fix this.” He dabbled with his phone for a minute before telling his brother. “Dewey, I’m sending you a link. Share it everywhere.”

“Okay,” Dewey said. Then he smirked. “You posted a YELP review for a cult?”

“Oh, yeah,” Louie said. “I have several accounts for YELP, most to bring up my reviews for Louie Inc, so I used one to tell the world that the Children of the Underneath League Training invited my family over for a sacred ritual where they stole every cent I had as well as my dog and cat, and they touched my child inappropriately.”

“Wouldn’t it be better to tell the truth?” Huey asked.

“No. The truth often gets overlooked, but a sensational lie catches people’s attention,” Louie said. “Now that Dewey shared my YELP review, I’ll share Dewey’s post on my account, and I’ll bring up all my troll accounts and share it as well.”

“Troll accounts?” Dewey asked. “Hey, are you the one commenting on my Youtube videos and telling me I stink?”

Louie shrugged. “Huey, I know you have Facebook. Share Dewey’s posting there. Beaks, why aren’t you doing anything. As the king of frivolous posts, you should be helping.”

“Oh, right,” Beaks said, remembering he had his personal phone on him. When was the last time he had used it? He had been so busy promoting a cult that he hadn’t been able to post about himself in a long time. He was tempted to make a post about how he was feeling with a selfie right there, but his life was more important.

He found Louie’s social media pages and shared the new post.

“And now we sit back and watch,” Louie said, holding out his phone. His eyes widened. “Whoa, that was fast. I haven’t seen someone lose so many follows so quickly. I wonder how many blocks the cult is getting.”

“This is amazing,” Huey said. “You did it, Louie. You adverted disaster. At this rate, the Children will only have enough members to summon a demon the size of a goldfish.”

“All in a day’s work,” Louie said. Then he turned to Beaks. “Now, I hope you learned a valuable lesson.”

“Oh, I did,” Beaks said. “From now on, I’m only going to use social media for good.” Then he took a quick selfie. “Hey, peeps. I’m back. I know ya missed me. Hashtag Mark Beaks is the best.”

“He’ll never change,” the triplets said together.

#ducktales 2017 #ducktales #fanfiction #Huey #Dewey #Louie #Mark Beaks #demons #halloween #writing prompts #short stories

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regenderate · 1 year

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thinking about how like... there's actually so much really good foreshadowing in chibnall era that's just. never picked up. like... between the solitract and byron's "she was the universe" you could do some really interesting stuff with the doctor's identity and biology. all the thasmin fans were drawing conspiracies about lines that in the end seemed to be throwaways. we got so much tension in yaz's relationship with the doctor in flux (and again in lotsd), and then we never really see that picked up. and there are so many theories that fans came up with because they were picking up on little details of the plot that feel like they have to have been there on purpose, but like... they were never followed up on.

and i think the thing is too like... those lines/details/etc were there on purpose, but chibnall did not consider their greater implications. like, najia asking "are you two seeing each other" and then yaz being like "you're like the greatest person i've ever met" in arachnids in the uk feels like it should be setting up thasmin. but i don't think those lines were intended to set up thasmin; i think they were intended to establish something about yaz's mother (in the former case) and provide an excuse to get yaz onto the tardis (in the latter case). and no one thought long enough about it to be like "hey so yaz is the exact type of character who would be in love with the doctor and these lines kind of really come off that way."

or like... i've made a lot of posts about rose-era parallels/references, and i keep thinking about stuff like opening the heart of the tardis in the halloween apocalypse. that's an act that originally had both context and purpose. if you repeat it, you are calling back to that context and purpose. you are calling back to rose being stuck alone on earth, and to the immense effort she took to get the heart of the tardis open. and in the episode it's just... like... such a nothing moment. it's forgettable. it doesn't feel powerful-- even if it didn't work, it should have felt more like it should have worked. there's no sense of the weight that action originally carried. and they don't build anything off that callback, either. that's just one example, but there are tons of moments like this (both rose-coded and otherwise).

i don't know. i find it frustrating. i feel like this era really could have rewarded fans for analyzing and theorizing, and it really really didn't in the end.

#lifeblogs #doctor who #dw spoilers #meta

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ecoamerica · 23 days

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youtube

Watch the American Climate Leadership Awards 2024 now: https://youtu.be/bWiW4Rp8vF0?feature=shared

The American Climate Leadership Awards 2024 broadcast recording is now available on ecoAmerica's YouTube channel for viewers to be inspired by active climate leaders. Watch to find out which finalist received the $50,000 grand prize! Hosted by Vanessa Hauc and featuring Bill McKibben and Katharine Hayhoe!

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nerdyautumnlover · 7 months

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Because this is a personal blog and one I share my vulnerabilities with alongside my naughty nature, I have decided to share something. So I have a naughty side but outside my own fantasies and thoughts, I have had a bad track record when it comes to sexual stuff.

Trigger warning for anyone this may upset.

I had been harassed for nudes and felt frustrated by it so I decided to take it into my own hands and in 2016 started an NSFW anonymous blog where I started posting nudes and underwear photos of myself. That was before the crackdown on tumblr where you could freely post nudes. I had a coworker who was married who wanted me. I don’t mess with married men. I was also a longtime virgin. He got off to my posts though and one time he gave me a ride to work he started messing with me. He started going under my shirt and touching me. He started fingering me and it hurt because I was scared and not turned on in the slightest. He put my hand on him and said I wasn’t good at what I was doing. Like yeah this was supposed to be a ride to a work and I’ve never done anything. I wouldn’t let him kiss me because that’s not how I wanted my first kiss to be. He already took these other parts.

That year was the #MeToo. I posted on Twitter simply #MeToo and he blocked me. I never did report it because I didn’t want my tumblr to be a factor in that I deserved it.

3 years later I met a guy online who I agreed to meet. He kissed me that first night while fingering me. He after two, can’t even be called dates, got pissed when he rented a motel room and then I wouldn’t have sex with him. He called me crazy the next day over text and I blocked him.

A year later on October 13th I met the guy online who would be my first boyfriend. He wanted to meet right away, seeing as he lived just an hour from me. We talked online for months saying we loved each other and finally he said let’s please meet so in July of 2021 I met him in person. I was so shy but we shared our first kiss on the bleachers at Frank and Son’s. The next month we decided to be boyfriend and girlfriend. Finally when he was with me it didn’t feel like those other two guys. I was afraid he would hurt me physically as the other two did but I loved what we shared.

I ended up deleting the anonymous tumblr because I only wanted to share that side of me with him.

On October 13th 2021 a year after we met online we were fooling around in his bed on what we considered our anniversary. He asked me if I wanted to go all the way and I said yes because I knew it needed to be in the moment or I might chicken out and it may never happen. I’m still traumatized from the last two.

He kissed me a thousand times and a million love yous were said. It hurt but it was perfect. I finally had sex and it was what I had always wanted.

Flash forward to two years later and that fucking bastard broke my heart two months ago. I don’t know that I can ever truly trust anymore after all that (along with the daddy issues of being neglected).

So yeah that’s my story. Guess maybe that’s why I have the naughty mixed with the Halloween.

#me #my story #raw #trigger warning

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seospicybin · 2 years

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FIC RECS.

Thank you to the sexc Ren @cb97percent for tagging me!

recommend 5 or more of your own works that you would rec to someone asking what they should read first & explain a little bit about the work. these can be the most popular, the ones you think are underrated, or your own favorites! then tag five other writers!

Twin Flame. (s,f,a) Back home for a summer holiday, you meet the new next-door boy, Felix, who will turn your summer into a burning bright one.

The firstborn of all of my angst works. Unapologetic, fucking emo, leather and roses, fast car and flames, in other words, it's sad and lethal. I always know I'm a deeply sad person, but this unlocked the raging angst in me.

Three of A Kind. (s) Late night drinking and a card game, plus two pretty boys? what’s the worst that could happen?

This was such a bitch to write. I spent months trying to perfect it and got so frustrated that I neglected it completely. Still I didn't give up and wrote a dozen versions of it until I found the one that is close to what I had envisioned in my head. The unused versions were sitting in my drafts and I'll probably never let them out, just cause.

Venus. (s,a) When Hyunjin first sets his eyes on you, he knew that you would make a perfect muse for his paintings, but as time goes, you begin to question whether it’s love or a short-lived infatuation that he has for you?

We all know that Hyunjin is so fucking pretty and if I ever get asked a person I would like to compare his beauty with, I wouldn't stutter to say Adonis. He's so beautiful it hurts, it's almost mythical. So I drew the inspiration from the star-crossed lovers of Adonis and Aphrodite, put all of his Pisces traits in it, his love for art, spicy angst on top and finished it off with a glass of ambrosia then voila!

Innings. (s,f) 🔥 You knew Seungmin as the baseball star slash campus heartrob and now, your partner on a project. But was there a hidden intention on why he wanted to work together with you?

Ngl. I fell in love with this couple that I created. I love how their relationship grew as I wrote them. Just fluffy and feel-good, something that everyone can easily relate to. I'm not ashamed to admit that I'm emotionally attached to them. Ah, to think that I'll post the last chapter soon makes me sad. I'll forever cherish both this fic and this Innings couple. (But mostly I don't want to let go of hot baseball player Seungmin)

Glass. (s) Han is a photographer who just moved into a new apartment and he couldn’t tell if it was accidental or fate that he saw you through the window of your apartment. And the next thing he knows, he spends most of his days watching you through his camera lens

My new favorite child. The first time I worked a fic from the ending first and worked out the rest after. I'm very aware that the ending is so BONKERS. I love seeing all of you losing your shit reading it and I'm here like "you didn't see that coming yeah?" OH THE FEELING!

Dark Red series. (s, horror, thriller)

Here's the thing, I love Halloween so. And here's the another thing, I love horror movies. I combined my two favorites into this and yes, I selfishly wrote this for myself. If you're familiar with Anne Rice books or watched Interview with the Vampire, you would know that I based vampire Hyunjin on Lestat and vampire Chan on Louis. I put little homages to my favorite horror movies in these fics as well. Fyi, Halloween is only two months away, you can't stop me from writing another chapter of this series. (Oh, my personal favorite is Chapter 2!)

Milk. (s,f) Jeongin didn’t expect to reunite with you during his vacation, the one that he remembers as his childhood sweetheart.

Very underrated, I would say. I loved writing it, I love the theme, I love how the story drowned you in their innocence and make you forget that you were reading a smut. It's pure and sweet and easy, pretty much like the title itself.

Double Take. (s) You reunited with Jeongin after being away from each other for months when all of sudden Bangchan caught you both during a steamy session.

My most favorite from my earlier, premature works. Look, I'm a perfectionist but I love this mess I made. I didn't even think if it's pleasing enough to read, I just went with it and I think that's the magic of it. Anyway, Jeongchan FTW!!!

Tagging: @youn9racha @tangylemonade @seo--changbin @seungmoomin @petrichor-han (sorry if you're already tagged and pls don't feel pressured to do it!)

#tagging game #stray kids smut #skz smut #fic recs #seospicy smut

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pizzaqueen · 1 year

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Would you be willing to report the ficlet? I’m very interested in reading it.

Hi anon! Well, seeing as you want to read it, I will post it again just for you (and thank you btw!) 😄

Oh, and I t’s not a whole ficlet, just the first idk how many words (where Steve and Eddie have been kidnapped by a cult who sacrifices a couple every Halloween but Steve and Eddie aren’t actually together yet—they’re currently tied up against their will so CW for that and don’t keep reading if that kind of situation is upsetting for you) but here you go (and I hope you enjoy it!):

ETA: the whole fic is on AO3 now!!

Steve struggles against the ropes binding his wrists, but it’s no use. They’re too tight. He can’t work them over the joint of his thumb no matter how hard he tries. He sighs, slumping back, swallowing down the panic rising in his throat like bile.

“They’re too tight,” Eddie says from behind Steve, “you’re just going to hurt yourself.” And, even if Steve hadn’t been able to feel Eddie struggle behind him for about ten minutes before he gave up, he’d be able to hear it in his voice.

“I know,” Steve grits out, then softer, “I just…” He swallows again. His arms are trembling and it’s not just from the strain of them being tied behind him for so long. “If I could reach my Swiss army knife—”

“Where is it?”

The hope in Eddie’s voice tangles in Steve’s chest. Especially when he has to say, “My front pocket.”

“Shit.” Eddie shifts his weight and his shoulder pushes into Steve’s.

Any other time, the feeling of Eddie so close would be comforting, or even thrilling if Steve let himself think things like that, but when they’re tied back to back to a supporting beam in some weirdo’s basement? Not so much.

“What about you?”

“What about me?”

“You got a knife or something?” The ache in Steve’s wrists throbs in time with the pounding in his head. He takes deep breaths, hoping it will stop him from puking. “Preferably somewhere you can reach?”

“No, I’m not in the habit of carrying knives.”

“Okay, sorry, I—”

“And if I had one I could reach, don’t you think I’d have used it by now?”

“Okay.” Steve’s throat clicks as he swallows. “I just—”

“I know.” Eddie sighs. “Sorry.”

“It’s fine.” Steve lets his head fall back against the beam behind him. “I mean, none of this is fine but…”

“Yeah.”

Fuck. This was just meant to be a fun weekend away, hanging out with the only guy friend he has who isn’t five years younger than him—even if Steve sometimes wishes they were more than friends—and to get away from Hawkins and all the memories there. It had been Dustin’s idea. He’d said Eddie and Steve both looked like they could use the break and now they’re tied up in a basement. Some R&R, huh?

“I’m going to strangle Henderson the next time I see him.” Not that it’s Dustin’s fault but it keeps Steve’s mind off things, like whatever happens next.

“We probably won’t see him again.”

Steve’s stomach twists. That’s exactly what he’d been trying not to think about. “Can you please not say that?”

“Sorry,” Eddie repeats. The brush of his fingers against Steve’s makes his skin tingle. Or that could be the lack of blood flow to his hands. Either way, it’s a small comfort in what might be the most fucked up situation Steve has ever found himself in and that’s saying something. And then Eddie says, “Wait! The glass!” and Steve startles.

“What glass?”

“That weird piece of glass I picked up earlier. The one you told me not to.”

“Yeah?”

“It’s in my back pocket.”

“Do you think you can reach it?”

There’s movement behind Steve and Eddie grunts in frustration. “No, but… Maybe you can?”

“Uh, yeah, okay.” Steve shuffles around as much as he can while being trussed up, feeling around behind him until his fingers brush what must be Eddie’s belt. “Wait, which pocket?”

“The back one.”

“Yeah, but which side?”

“The left so your…”

“Right.”

Steve huffs and slides his fingers lower, barely feeling the denim with his almost-numb fingers, before they slip into the back pocket. His arm is burning from twisting around; he can feel the glass but he can’t grip it. “I can’t—”

“Here.” The beam creaks as Eddie moves around. “How about now?”

Ignoring that he’s basically touching Eddie’s ass—because, you know, they’re probably going to die and this is a last ditch effort—Steve manages to close his fingers around the smooth piece of glass moments before there’s noise from upstairs.

A voice comes through the closed door: “Why do I always have to check the sacrifices?”

“Did they just say sacrifices?” Eddie whispers.

“Yeah.”

“Fuck. Fuck fuck fuck.”

#steddie #Steve x eddie #pizzaqueenfic #pizzaqueenanswers #i hate deleting asks so this should stay up this time anxiety be damned!

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justsome-di · 1 year

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Nobody Ends Up Dead in a Bathtub, Everyone Keeps Their Organs: Chapter 12

Summary: Alex is an ordinary, highly-introverted office worker. He clocks in and out and goes home to his little apartment he shares with his younger sister. He hasn’t dated in years. Until his co-workers set him up on a blind date.

The only issue is he and his date are not on the same page. At all.

While Alex thinks it’s a normal date, Damián is under the impression Alex is a client who paid to be there. No-so-quickly, they realize something is up. It’s all a prank. Damián is a sex worker Alex’s co-workers hired as a sick joke.

After reassuring that they’re both okay, Alex decides he wants revenge for both him and Damián. The plan is to use the stigma of sex work and start a 6-week, scandalous fake dating scheme with a big finale at the office Halloween party. Alex’s co-workers will be too horrified to try to prank him again. At least, that’s the plan.

You can also read this on AO3, or Patreon (patrons also get chapters a week early along with bonus content). If you’re enjoying the story and want to support me in other ways, I do have a ko-fi! Or consider dropping me a message in my inbox or reblogging this post!

Alex and Damián were set to meet Martin and his wife uptown at 6, and Alex was stuck in the worst dilemma anyone could have been caught in before going out to a new place with new people.

He had no idea what to wear.

His wardrobe and dressers were open and terrorized in his feat to find something that didn’t look like he was about to head to the office. But the thing about not leaving the apartment except to go to work was that a lot of his clothes were for work. He didn’t want a business casual ensemble, and he didn’t want to repeat his outfit from his last fake date.

He couldn’t believe his wardrobe was so barren. It was just a series of button-up tops of different colors and patterns.

There was one top—short sleeves, collar, dark blue with little white arrows up and down it—that he briefly thought looked nice. But after examining himself in the mirror a little too long, he thought it looked a little too casual. Short sleeves probably weren’t appropriate attire if the date was at some semi-swanky restaurant.

A pile of clothes on Alex’s bed grew with his frustration. Was he one of those helpless men who couldn’t get dressed? No. He took clothes seriously. He was just in a pickle at the moment. A new social situation called for a new outfit, and it wasn’t his fault he was so unprepared for it. He wasn’t going to let himself spiral so early in the evening.

Damián was just going to make the situation worse. No matter what, Damián was going to show up as handsome as ever, and sitting next to him, Alex was guaranteed to look mediocre.

But if anyone was going to have any advice on how to dress, it would be Damián who surely had an outfit for every potential social situation.

I don’t know what to wear, Alex texted Damián.

Wear whatever you’re comfortable in.

Alex wasn’t sure yet if Damián’s periods meant something passive-aggressive or if he was just a stickler for punctuation. He quickly scrolled through their previous texts. Damián always seemed to put periods and commas in the right spot when he wasn’t over-using exclamation marks. Okay. He wasn’t mad at Alex. Alex could continue.

What are you wearing?

A selfie was sent through in record time. Damián stood in front of a full-length mirror. He cut his own head off, leaving the focus on his long legs and lean torso. He wore a black sweater and black jeans with a dark, fur-lined jacket. It might have been denim, but Alex couldn’t make it out in the picture. It was so gloriously low-effort, but Damián looked really good in it. Really good.

Alex had to stop staring. He would see Damián in person soon. He didn’t need to commit the selfie to memory.

There wasn’t anything in Alex’s closet that was on the same level of casual-classy. He did, however, have a sweater his mother got him for Christmas a couple of years ago. It still had the tags on it. There was a faint smell of fake wood clinging to it.

When he had unwrapped it, his mother had immediately taken it from his hands and held it up to him. She said that the dark green was the perfect color for him. He was a winter—whatever that meant.

It was a little thin and more form-fitting than anything else he usually wore, so it had sat in the back of his closet with no hope of ever coming out. He didn’t like tight things. It was part of him knowing his limits as a truly mediocre man.

He looked at Damián’s picture again. He looked so nice.

Going by the bed in the background, Alex assumed he took the picture in his bedroom. It felt a little intimate. Alex looked closer. The room was impeccably clean and organized. There was a shelf on the wall behind him, though Alex couldn’t make out any of the books that were sitting on them. There was a plant with long vines dangling down, twisting and remaining full all the way.

So, Damián was incredibly put-together. He could keep a plant alive. And he read. Alex needed to read more. Maybe that would fix some of his problems. When was the last time he had even finished a book? Actually finish. Cover-to-cover. There were loads of books he had tried to read.

The Handmaid’s Tale because Alex wanted to be a good feminist. It was interesting, but he accidentally left it on the subway and never remembered to find another copy.

Great Expectations because he was supposed to read it in high school, and he wanted to try to redeem himself and his low English test scores from that semester. He gave up when he remembered why he had neglected the book in the first place.

One of those Warrior Cats books because Eve devoured them when she was young, and he wanted to know what she was talking about. He didn’t get them.

Brave New World because he once saw it in an article titled “100 Books to Read Before You Die” and Alex was more intimidated by the expectation of reading 100 books in a lifetime rather than the dense, hardback copy of the book he picked up at Barnes & Noble. It was horribly pretentious, he thought later, when he incidentally saw some dick pseudo-academics discussing it online.

Maybe he could make it a conversation starter with Damián. Ask for recommendations. Pretend like he wasn’t totally creepy and wasn’t investigating the background of his selfie.

Alex had to look back at himself in the mirror. Maybe the sweater wasn’t too bad now that he had it on. The color was nice. His mother was right. But he wasn’t sure about how it hugged him. Alex had been cursed with a pear shape, and he was never sure what he was supposed to wear.

“How do I look?” Alex asked, walking out and standing in front of Eve.

She was reading a book. Dammit. Everyone read but him. He had to find a book.

“You look fine,” she said, giving him the briefest glance over.

“Are you sure?”

“Yeah.” She turned a page. Giovanni’s Room. Alex wondered what it was about and if it would be a good starting point for him. “I’m not doing this every time you have a date.”

“I’d do it for you if you had dates.”

Eve wrinkled her nose up and stuck her tongue out. Alex didn’t mean for it to be a dig at her romantic life, but he counted it as a petty victory.

Alex’s phone buzzed in his pocket.

I’ll meet you outside the restaurant?

Yeah. See you there!

A surge was going to happen soon. Alex could tell. Every 30-year-old in the city was about to go out before the young people started their parties and had their late-night dinners. He didn’t have the money to spare for both a date with Damián and surge prices to the restaurant and back.

“I have to go,” Alex said.

Their messages didn’t push Damián’s selfie out of view. Alex smiled at it. Even without his head, Damián was handsome.

“Don’t get mushy with your boyfriend in front of me,” Eve said.

Alex wanted to correct her. She deserved to know that there was no real boyfriend and that Alex was just as lonely as her. It felt like a nasty secret to keep from her.

“I’ll see you tonight,” he said.

“Whatever. Don’t get murdered.”

“Maybe I want to get murdered.”

“Then get murdered. I don’t care.”

Alex pulled his good coat back out of the closet. He could remember exactly how Damián’s hands felt on his shoulders when he helped him into it. It made his stomach flutter and his heart sink. He would prefer to never see the coat ever again. But it was worth it for another date with “Marcus.” Maybe he could get as many bittersweet memories tied up into it as possible to minimize the items that would be tainted by the scheme. And then he could burn the coat at the end of the month.

It was probably time to get a new one anyway.

Alex hopped out of his Uber 20 minutes later with regret in his bank account. If he had left earlier, he could have taken the subway and saved money. But that meant taking the subway.

He finished the commute on foot. He saved a whole dollar by having the drop-off point a few minutes away from the restaurant. It had been a financial tip he saw on Twitter followed by how to invest in the newest, most promising cryptocurrencies. The original poster didn’t appear to speak to a consistent audience. Alex had never followed him, but the Uber tip had stayed in the back of his mind ever since.

People were starting to flood the streets. Millennial couples were out in their best H&M and Target ensembles. Those who were particularly thriving weren’t out among those posing as people who needed to budget for nights in these parts of the city. They went to the even swankier places. Maybe they left the city altogether.

Alex walked down the block and turned the corner. He kept his head up to read every business sign he passed until, right in front of him, he saw a hanging sign jutting out over the sidewalk. It was minimalistic and rustic. Sweet Pine. Below it, thankfully, he saw Damián tucked away against the brick wall.

Damián didn’t look much better. His hands were tucked into his jacket. It looked like the wall was supporting his entire weight. Before he spotted Alex, he was frowning at the street, eyes not focused on anything. His head lazily followed some pedestrians who walked past him.

When Alex walked into his line of sight, he straightened and smiled.

“Are you feeling any better?” Alex asked, hoping it wasn’t too intrusive or personal. Or weird that he remembered that Damián wasn’t doing so well days ago. “Than you were a few days ago?”

“Loads.”

Damián took Alex’s arm which sent a little shock through all of Alex. He hooked his hand in Alex’s elbow. Together, they walked in.

The lobby was warm and packed with people. Alex immediately started sweating and prayed that he wasn’t staining his sweater. Hopefully, the color was dark enough to hide any damp spots. Maybe his mother had thought of that when she bought the sweater. She was practical like that. Alex wouldn’t put it past her to pick a sweater based on if it hid sweat well.

Damián seemed immune to the grosser side of body functions. Alex had never seen him break a sweat. Actually, right then, he shivered. His hands trembled on Alex. He had a hard time keeping the rest of himself still, making him tense and vibrating in his spot.

Alex gave the host their names, and she whisked them off to a table. Damián followed, his hand still tucked into Alex’s elbow but not watching where they were headed. He looked around the dining room. He watched the waiters walk by and looked at the other diners quietly sitting at their meals. Alex didn’t know what he was trying to see, but he looked only half-aware of it all.

“I’m Marcus tonight?” Damián asked when they were seated.

“Yeah. Are you sure you’re okay?”

Damián slowly turned his head to Alex. “What was that?”

“I asked if you’re sure you’re okay.”

“I’m fine.”

“We don’t have to do this. I can tell Martin you weren’t feeling well, and we can leave.”

Damián shrugged out of his coat and laid it delicately over the back of his chair as if to say they were staying. Alex tried taking off his coat with the same poise, but his left arm got tangled in its sleeve. He didn’t have as much wiggle room as the slim Damián did, and he awkwardly pressed himself against the table while his arms stretched behind him. Finally, out of his wool prison, he laid it over the back of his chair.

He was still hot. Damián was squeezing his hands together, trying to get them warm.

Alex pushed his sleeves up. Hopefully, he’d cool down before Martin and his wife showed up.

Damián was staring at him. Fuck. He wore the wrong thing. Alex plucked his sweater away from his middle, self-conscious about how tight it fit. He should have just worn the dark blue top. He wouldn’t have been sweltering in the short sleeves.

But Damián was smiling at him.

“You look nice,” Damián said.

Oh. “Really?”

“Yeah.”

He looked Alex up and down. Alex’s face was burning. A waiter placed a glass of water in front of him, and he wanted to dump the whole thing over himself. Condensation was just starting to prickle up all over it. The ice shifted with clinks Alex couldn’t hear but still knew were there.

“Are you sure?” Alex asked.

Damián nodded. His eyes looked clearer. He was back with Alex. “I’m being totally honest. You are very handsome. I am very lucky to have people think we’re dating.”

God, how embarrassing. Damián was maybe the most attractive man Alex had ever seen in person, and he thought Alex was handsome? Or he was at least flattering him.

“Am I being too much?” Damián asked.

Fuck. Alex must have had his skepticism showing on his face. “No! Not at all!”

“Leo says I’m too much sometimes. He calls me ‘extra.’ Worse, he calls me extra and then asks if I know what being extra means. He thinks I’m getting old.”

“I think I was born old.”

Damián tittered. “I was worried about turning 30, but now that I’m 31 and, you know, wise and mature, I’ve come to peace knowing I’m not going into a nursing home anytime soon.”

“You’re only 31? I’m 33. I’m ancient!”

“No. No. You’re youthful and fresh. You’re only two years older than me.”

“I’m decrepit. I got one foot in the grave.”

They were falling easily into self-deprecating jokes that neither of them meant. Alex’s anxieties were melting away watching Damián curl forward and chuckle at the dry humor that most people didn’t get. He had only joked so well with Eve.

“No! We can’t be old.” Damián pressed his hand to cheek. “What happens when we’re 40?”

“I don’t know!”

Alex felt a little tug at the bottom of his stomach. He wanted to say how lucky they were to be aging. Queer people were only just starting to get old again. But he was sure that Damián understood that, too, and might have been biting his own tongue. It would kill the mood if either of them were to bring it up, and Damián was starting to look better. His eyes were brightening.

“Do I start Botox now?” Damián asked. He held one hand out, palm up and fingers limp.

“No.” Alex shook his head. He pushed forward into the dry humor. “Botox is a gateway drug.”

“A gateway drug?”

“It starts with Botox. Then you start getting all of this other stuff done. In ten years, you look like Versace.”

“Versace? Versace’s dead. That’s a whole thing.”

“No. The other Versace. The one that’s alive.”

“Donatella Versace? Be nice to her. She’s done nothing to you.”

“She has a weird face.”

Damián’s jaw dropped. “Rude! She’s been through a lot.”

“A lot of plastic surgery.”

Damián covered his mouth to hide his laughter. “Your queer card has been revoked. For hating on Donatella—she’s an ally, by the way—and for disrespecting a woman’s autonomy. I didn’t take you for a misogynist.”

“I still respect her! All I’m saying is, if you start Botox, there’s no guarantee you won’t get addicted to plastic surgery like her.”

“Maybe if you inherited a fashion empire, you’d be a little more sympathetic. It wasn’t even hers to begin with, and if you think about it, she’s probably always surrounded by models who are always 20 when she’s aging.”

“Okay. Fine. She gets a pass because she’s entrenched so deeply in beauty standards.”

“Also her trauma with her brother.”

“Okay, but you shouldn’t get—“

“Oh my God, wait, hold on,” Damián waved his hands, “I need to tell you this. There was a podcast about Gianni Versace’s murder, and they were saying that his killer had met him before he was murdered, and how they could have traveled in these same circles for a bit—“

“Versace got murdered?”

“Yes! Famously! Let me finish. It’s a whole thing.”

“Wait. Wait.” Alex held up his hands and wiggled happily in his chair. Damián looked fantastic. “We need to stay on topic.”

“What was the topic? I forgot already.”

“Botox.”

“Oh my god, don’t get Botox, Alex,” Damián said, with feigned earnestness. “You’ll start down a dangerous path of plastic surgery.”

It was so ridiculous. It shouldn’t have made Alex laugh, but he did. And Damián started laughing—actually laughing—with him.

“I don’t have plans for Botox,” Alex said. “I was warning you.”

“I’m getting so old, though. I might be getting wrinkles soon. We could try Botox together!”

They were straining themselves trying to keep their laughter quiet. They leaned in towards one another, their shoulders pressed together. The restaurant was so nice and there they were, giggling like children over a string of bad jokes.

But it was such a relief to see Damián perk up so quickly.

“Alex?”

Alex looked up. Martin was holding out a chair for his wife. She smiled at them as took her seat, arranging her long, blonde hair behind her shoulders. She was very beautiful in a plain sort of way. There wasn’t anything exceptionally attractive about her. No distinctive features. Her hair was straight and void of highlights or lowlights. She just looked welcoming and friendly.

Alex cleared his throat. “Martin. Hello.”

“This is my wife, Sam,” Martin said. Sam nodded her head politely to them. “Sam, this is Alex. And Marcus, correct?”

Damián nodded with a wide smile. He had settled into his character. “Correct. It’s nice to finally meet you.”

Martin’s cheeks colored. “Yeah. Uh.” He took his seat. “I guess I should start off tonight with an apology.”

Damián straightened. Alex held his breath. It was happening. Martin was turning over a new leaf. Damián was going to get a little respect, and they could still pull off the rest of the scheme.

Martin clasped his hands together and set them on the table. “I apologize.”

“What he means is,” Sam said to Damián, “he understands now that you have a very respectable and challenging career. And that it’s not funny to put someone in your position in the situation he did.”

“Yeah,” Martin said. “All of that. And I really do feel bad. The guys kinda forced me into it. Not to deflect responsibility or anything. I just—I wasn’t a fan of it from the start. I do really know that it was totally wrong.”

“Okay,” Damián said. “It sounds like you get it. I can find it in me to forgive you.”

“Thank you.”

“As long as Alex forgives you, too.”

“Oh.” Alex clenched his fists under the table. “Uh. I do.”

He didn’t. Not totally. That was why they were doing the whole scheme. He did appreciate the effort Martin was being forced to make, though.

“I, for one, think this whole thing is cute,” Sam said. “You guys made the best out of the whole thing. And it’s totally like Pretty Woman.”

“I’ve been thinking the same thing for the past two weeks,” Damián said. He turned to Alex. “You’re like a young Richard Gere.”

Alex shook his head. He was vaguely familiar with Richard Gere from the 90s, but the man faded from any recognition after that. “I’ve never seen Pretty Woman.”

Damián’s eyes widened. “I’m sorry. You what? This isn’t—hold on.”

He was being serious. He turned fully to Alex and held out a finger to him. Alex widened his eyes.

“You’ve never seen Pretty Woman? With Julia Roberts?” Damián asked.

Alex wanted to give him a sarcastic response, but he didn’t. “No.”

“I’m making you watch it. You and I can’t be together if you haven’t seen it.” Damián shook his head at Sam, who was clearly enjoying the false display of a flamboyant gay man. He knew how to play a straight, white woman. “He’s never seen Pretty Woman. Can you believe that?”

“I gathered,” she said.

Damián scoffed. “Anyway, yes, it does feel like Pretty Woman. And I love pretending like I’m Julia Roberts. Especially in her black dress. She looked so good in that.”

“She did!” Sam sighed. “You know, I really forced Martin to do this. I wanted to see you.”

“Yeah?”

“Yeah. I wanted to meet,” Sam lowered her voice, “a sex worker. I think it’s just the coolest thing.”

Alex could feel the sheet of ice slap Damián’s face. There hadn’t been all that much progress. This was a mistake. Alex should have saved Damián the misery.

Sam leaned over the table. Martin smiled nervously at Alex.

“Can I ask you a couple of questions, Marcus?” Sam asked.

“Sure.”

“What kind of sex work do you do? Like, do you have an Only Fans?”

Damián’s smiled tightened like a man who had been asked that question a hundred times.

“I do what I guess you’d call traditional work? I don’t,” Damián lowered his voice and glanced around, meeting Sam’s eyes when he turned back to her, “I don’t do porn. It’s not really my type of thing. I do know people who do it, and it’s a pretty intense gig. Too time-consuming for me.”

“Right. Right.” Sam nodded. “So, do you—I don’t know how this works—how do you find clients? Or how do they find you?”

Damián delivered the answer so perfectly that Alex wanted to jump from his chair and punch the air and high-five Damián.

A slow smile spread on Damián’s face, and he said, with great smugness, “Your husband knows. Ask him.”

Alex held everything in. He’d shake Damián’s hand later.

Sam, face red, leaned back. Martin turned his face to his lap.

“So,” Damián said, lacing his fingers together and laying his chin on them. There was a twinkle in his eyes. “I know where Martin and Alex work. But what do you, Sam?”

“I, uh, work in a, uh, marketing firm.”

Martin had his face turned down to the table. Sam couldn’t complete a sentence. The revenge was going to be great. And seeing Damián get a good jab in and have fun, all of Alex’s reservations were gone. He was going to enjoy his fake dates for as long as he got them, and he wouldn’t let himself think about how guilty he felt or how much he’d mourn them once he and Damián parted ways for good.

#Nobody Ends Up Dead in a Bathtub Everyone Keeps Their Organs #nobody ends up dead #writblr #writeblr #original writing #original fiction #my writing #writing community #lgbt fiction #queer fiction

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