Things I learned from Russell Howard’s Home Time:
1) No matter unimpressed I am when he appears with professionally done hair gel and bleach on, it is much worse when he does not have access to professionals. I really am trying to not to focus too much on his appearance, but when I look at him in the Home Time videos all I can see are the frosted tips Jake Peralta had in the first few episodes of Brooklyn Nine Nine season 4. And the other characters in that show had an intervention to make him change that. I feel like Russell’s friend Greg should get his Cuckoo co-star Andy Samberg to explain that lockdown might be a good time to give the hair products a rest.
2) The whole thing where Russell’s way of interacting with anyone he particularly likes involves large amounts of palpable sexual tension (I was going to refer to it as “homoerotic” tension, but then I remembered he’s like that with Roisin Conaty too) - apparently that somehow still happens even when he’s not even in the same room as the other person and they’re only on Zoom. How does that even work?
3) I am sorry that I did not live in Britain in that one week in April 2020 when there was apparently a whole media circus sparked by Russell Howard drinking cider on Lorraine Kelly’s show. I wish I could have watched at laughed at that while it was happening.
4) Within the first few weeks of lockdown, COVID brought back Jon Lajoie, as well as Russell Howard and Jon Richardson filming a BBC 6 Music-style conversation. It’s not all bad.
And honestly, the chat with Jon was lovely. I’ve said before on this blog that I’m a sucker for “remember when we used to sit around together and dream about making it, look around at how cool it is now that we have made it” friendships.
5) I realize my situation isn’t close to the same as Russell Howard having to spend lockdown at his parents’ place because he had to stay away from his frontline health worker wife. I did not have the traumatic situation of a close loved one in that kind of danger from the pandemic, and I can’t imagine what that would be like.
But I did sort of feel it when he talked about what it was like to turn 40 in his childhood bedroom. In October 2020, I turned 30 in my childhood home. Not my childhood bedroom - I stayed in my mom’s room while she was out of town looking after her dad. But still. Turned 30 as I sat in my childhood home, having a drink by myself while my dad slept in the next room (yeah, my parents have been platonic roommates with separate bedrooms since I was 12, it’s fine, despite what my mother worries about it definitely did not contribute to me seeing long-term platonic relationships worth more effort than romantic ones). It wasn’t how I’d pictured that night.
6) These episodes are almost making me feel nostalgic for the beginning of the pandemic. Some of that is because I miss the time when there really was a sense of “everyone do your part for the greater good” in the air, when I wasn’t constantly reading stuff about people not giving a shit. But I think I also miss the hope. Russell keeps asking people what they’re excited to do after the pandemic is over, and they all have good answers. He talks about missing doing gigs and other big things. Michelle Wolf talked about missing specific and even annoying things she was used to about touring, like airport security.
I was like that at the beginning of the pandemic. I missed the big dramatic moments of coaching tournaments every weekend, but I also missed the quiet times helping an anxious kid warm up in a hallway. The last half hour of the long road trip home in the middle of the night, the truck’s dashboard shining in the darkness and three teenagers who’ve fallen asleep on top of each other in the back. The heart-to-hearts with the one teenager who stayed awake. To get less sappy, like Michelle Wolf I even missed the annoying things that were just part of life: the truck stops, the shitty hotel breakfasts, arguing with refs. God, I’d love to just get really fucking mad about a ref making a bad call right now. Go off about it in the moment and then complain about it to all the other coaches.
I barely miss those things anymore because they feel like another lifetime. I’ve gotten out of the habit of expecting any of those parts of life. I think that’s the main source of the nostalgia I’m getting from watching Russell Howard’s Home Time. I miss those first few weeks when this all felt like a break from real life, and we were all still excited for real life to come back. When it felt like we were just going to wait this out and then get back to those things we missed, rather than whatever it feels like now.
7) I was honestly not expecting point number 6 to go for more than a couple of sentences; I sort of realized those things as I was writing them. I think I just documented the ripping off of an emotional scab in real time. That was a very useful scab and it was made of obsession with British comedy so I’m sort of feeling the need to put that back on now, as we have a ways to go before real life comes back and the wound starts to actually heal.
So... okay... to get myself back into “only caring about British comedy” mode... I’m genuinely trying to think of something because I didn’t have any more points but I don’t want to end on that depressing note...
Looking at his interactions with Greg Davies, Jon Richardson, Roisin Conaty, Frankie Boyle, Dara O’Briain, Paul Chowdhry, John Oliver, Guz Khan; maybe Russell Howard is just backwards in terms of what his relationships actually are versus how they appear from the outside. Maybe his way of doing friendship naturally comes across as sexual chemistry, but if you see him with his wife they appear completely platonic.
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i need a soul transformation ASAP
i just realized na i was so toxic to my last ex. (for a reason) fuck you for everything, christian flores. he is the definition of evil putangina ka!
but now, right fucking now, i have the best person i could ever imagine at the top of my hand. i have Ken. he’s that guy you introduce to your parents because you just know he’ll be waiting for you at the altar. he’s what i’ve never known i could ask for. he’s a blessing. and a lesson
i am still dealing with my toxicity because of my last ex. and i really want to get rid of it. i want to be the fresh daisies that Ken should breathe in. i want to be the soft pillows and warm blankets after his long day. i want to be his sanctuary, for goddamn’s sake. but lately i’ve been giving him a lot of headaches.
i still carry the toxicity i had and Ken. DOES. NOT. DESERVE. ANY. OF. IT. i don’t wanna point fingers pero i really think my toxic trait is because of my ex. natatakot ako na baka sakin lang pala, pero, yEaH riGhT. whEN piGs fLY.
My toxic traits are:
1. getting mad for the tiniest reason
2. getting mad for no reason
3. notices the slight change of his chat tone and gets anxious
4. turning the tiniest reason into a big thing
5. getting insecure
6. getting mad for being hungry
7. blaming my pre-period
8. getting annoyed at his playful side
9. not being supportive 100% when things are going doWNHILL AF
10. not helping Ken when he’s down because of me, my past, and anything else
i think that’s about all of my panget behavior. and i need to get rid of it ASAP. i dont wanna be another headache, another heartbreak, another reason to get sleepless nights, another reason to wake up mad and devastated. I DON’T WANT TO GIVE KEN WHAT MY EX GAVE TO ME: depression and anxiety. i want Ken to experience and feel the love he fucking deserves kasi putangina!!!!!!! - he does nothing but only to offer love, loyalty, and kindness, and laughter, and silliness. he is literally a ball of sunshine that’s been gifted to me from the heavens and putangina talaga, i’ll make the most of it, and take care of him, and love him the way he should be loved, and make his days worth living kasi we are all tired of this worLD AND COUNTRY AND ECONOMY AND EVERYTHING
....... might as well love a person and be happy together in this chaos.
my toxic traits must be changed to:
1. laughing at the tiniest reason that i think was an issue (ex. us talking about the people who hates me)
2. looks at our photos and remind myself that I love Ken
3. will use the “dont be anxious” card
4. laugh at the tiniest reason para di maging big thing
5. dem bitchez be acting crazy
6-7. i should watch or binge eat when pre-period and tell him it’s about the time of the month, just a head’s up ganun
8. i met him and loved him the way he is. being goofy and playful. i shouldn’t be annoyed when he extra teases me. i should go along with him and be playful too
9. when things are extra rough, at usually ako pa may gawa ng katarataduhan, i always leave him hanging, expecting him to save the day. na ako wala man lang gagawin to make things up for him. i should be the hero na. the one who’ll be supportive sa lahat ng bagay na involve siya.
10. i must speak uplifting words kapag down na siya. i’ve been practicing na dito. and it helps. kaya nga lang, hindi verbal. laging written. i’ll practice maging verbal sa ganito. i must help him sa mga oras na kailangang-kailangan niya ako. kasi it’s always me & him VS. the problem.
we should be always working as a team. magkasangga sa lahat ng bagay. uuwi sa isa’t-isa. it’s fucking me and him against the world sheeeeeeeettttt
i don’t ever want to lose him. mawala na ang lahat ng bagay, wag lang ikaw. Wag na wag lang ikaw, Ken
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A New Year of Memories
A cute little scenario I thought of to start this year off right 💖
Pairing: Aizawa x reader
Warnings: Alcohol use
“I can’t believe you’re wearing those.” You looked up at your boyfriend, who currently donned a monochrome paper fedora stating “HAPPY NEW YEAR” around the base of the hat. “How did you even convince me to wear this in the first place?”
Your eyes squinted from behind your 2020 edition New Year’s Eve glasses as you smiled at Shota. “Oh don’t pretend like you don’t love it,” you said, snuggling your head onto his shoulder.
Nemuri came by you two with glasses of champagne in her hands. “Drink up you two,” she said. “You don’t want to be the only sober ones here do you?” The pro hero loved the end of the year for the same reason she loved Halloween and the American Superbowl. It gave her a reason to get shit faced and have little to no consequences regarding her status as a pro hero.
“Thank you, Nemuri.” Shota took both of the glasses and handed one to you. The two of you clinked and drank away. The UA staff New Year’s party was going well, and you hoped to keep it that way, as Hizashi and Nemuri tended to get a little too over the top when they drank. Your ears still felt like they were bleeding from the Christmas karaoke party they dragged you to. This was nice, however. Your coworkers all got along well, and everyone seemed to be engaging in civil conversation.
“I’m gonna go to the bathroom,” your boyfriend stated.
You nodded and watched him walk away, his hand fumbling in the pocket of his pants. A little lost without your boyfriend at your side, you decided to mingle with the rest of your coworkers. You chatted a little with Nezu and Snipe, cracked a few jokes with All Might, and you even gossiped with Recovery Girl about student injuries before you were practically tackled to the ground by a very drunk Hizashi.
“(Y/n),” he said. “(Yyyyyy/nnn).”
You laughed and tried to hold yourself up as he draped his entire body weight over your shoulders. “You good, Hizashi?” you asked. “Have you had any water tonight?” And there goes your motherly instinct. Shota says it’s one of his favorite things about you, but you sometimes worry it gets in the way of your friends’ fun. Sure they can be really REALLY reckless a lot of the time, but they’re adults. They can take care of themselves.
“Yuh huh,” he said. “Have you seen that fiancé of yours anywhere?”
You blushed. Sure, you and Shota had talked about the possibility of marriage before, but only once very briefly. “Um, I don’t know what you’re talking about.” You looked down at the floor.
“Oh,” Hizashi said. It’s as if he took sudden notice to you dropping your usually fun and calm demeanour, and an anxious one, one that wasn’t yourself taking over. “Oh! Right! Your boyfriend. Have ya seen him?”
You chuckled a little as he began slurring his words. “He’s in the bathroom.”
Hizashi snorted up into your ear, making you squirm. “Thank ya,” he said before bouncing off in the direction of the bathroom.
Your stomach felt like it was in knots. Shota couldn’t have been planning on proposing to you. It’s so unlike him to do it in a setting like this. Every time you imagined him proposing, it was always in a quiet place like your room in the teacher dorms or in a park on one of your late-night walks. Maybe Hizashi was just thinking about the future. Maybe your boyfriend told him about the plans he had to propose in the coming months and Hizashi, in his drunken state, forgot that he hadn’t already done it. Or maybe he just didn’t know what he was talking about and you were overthinking it.
You saw Nemuri talking with Maijima by the table holding plates of various appetizers. “Hey,” you said, walking up to her. “Do you still have that flask of whiskey on you?”
By the time Shota was out of the bathroom you were very clearly buzzed. Your face was tinted red, but it was harder to tell with the shadows coming from your festive glasses. “Took you long enough,” you said, clinging to the sleeve of his shirt.
“Are you drunk?” He wasn’t mad, which was clear by the smirk gracing his face. If anything he was amused as you were usually the designated driver and the responsible one among your friends whenever the four of you would go out.
“C’mere.” You waved your hand, gesturing for him to lean in so you could whisper in his ear.
He rolled his eyes but smiled as he leaned in. “I’m here I’m here,” he said, as you were still doing the hand motion.
You bit your lip and giggled a little more as you leaned closer to his ear. “I’m a little drunk.” You leaned out and laughed, your face becoming even more flushed.
Shota just smiled at you and patted the top of your head.
“Guys come on it’s time!!!” Nemuri ushered everyone over as the countdown to the new year began on the TV.
You looked over at Shota, ready to lean in for your New Year’s kiss, but you were shocked when he wasn’t by your side.
Your eyes wandered down to see that your boyfriend was on the ground, on one knee, looking up at you. His hands were closed around a small black velvet box. Maybe it was the alcohol or maybe it was you having a weakness for this sort of thing, but either way you were practically sobbing just looking at Shota.
“(Y/n),” he said. “This past year has been one of the best years of my life.”
Shota parted his hands revealing the small diamond ring inside the box. “I want to make memories like the ones I’ve made with you every year for the rest of my life.”
“Will you do that? Will you marry me so we can make more memories?”
You choked out a sob, nodding your head vigorously, smiling like a drunken idiot.
Shota stood up and took the ring out of the box. You held out your hand so he could put the ring around your finger.
“I love you,” you said. Caressing his cheek bone with one of your knuckles.
He leaned his forehead down to rest against yours.
“1! Happy new year!”
You leaned into each other, capturing your lips with his own. The kiss that the two of you shared held the same magic that your first kiss had when you started dating oh so long ago. You took it as a sign that this was an exciting new chapter of your life, an exciting new year that the two of you would share.
As the two of you parted, you held each other for the longest time; Shota with his arms around your waste and you with your arms heavily draped around his neck. You smiled even wider up at him before dipping back in for another kiss. You were excited for this new chapter of your life. And you couldn’t wait to make more memories with your fiancé.
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