#i wanted to kill myself for almost a decade and now you want me to romanticize life because a cashier at the grocery store smiled at me???

[asteralien]

look it took me a while to come round to astarion but there is something about the scene where he's just standing in the sun that kind of got me after i've spent the entirety of this spring, rain or shine, staring and reveling in the trees and the plants around me, like i haven't seen the color green in years because in a lot of ways i haven't, i had gone blind to my favorite color because it Didn't Matter, i hadn't realized how deep depression had been holding me under for years until march when the woods i've lived in since i was 8 have suddenly become brand new to me. and it's not like i'm dancing around joyously or anything, it's not made me some kind of positive upbeat optimism fairy, it's made me angry if i think about it too long, so i've just been trying not to think about it and just be, not try to be happy or optimistic or hopeful but just appreciative. and. idk. i think i kind of Get It. he's never going to be my very favorite but man. i would like to stand in the sun with him sometimes

#blah blah blah blah blah word vomit. #it's fine i just feel Incredibly Too Old to be making this kind of progress but also incredibly like a stupid baby too #the years i've lost to being so inanely unalive !!! staring out at a gray world wishing i would just Be Dead already #and now suddenly the trees are so green again and it makes me so fucking angry #that this was here the whole time but i couldn't reach it. it wasn't reaching me #i was scared of rain and scared of sun and scared of in between and it sucks so so so much #and everyone wants me to be HAPPY and NICE and SOFT about feeling better and i'm fucking. not. #i feel ~better~ but that just means i'm angry at what i lost and never had #i wanted to kill myself for almost a decade and now you want me to romanticize life because a cashier at the grocery store smiled at me??? #and i get so frustrated trying to play with him on the team sometimes but also good fucking god. mood. #mkay i have to go crochet something before i kick a wall because my depression is better and that infuriates me #and i just want to kill things with a vampire worstie. #is that so wrong. #aster chat

[devilbrakers]

OC DUALITY

was tagged by @morvaris​ to take this uquiz for my ocs >:) thank you nico this was super fun!!

tagging: @numbaoneflaya @time-is-a-lake @aartyom @nuclearstorms @girlbosselrond @druidgroves @malefiicarum @swordcoasts  @aldcaldos @sufferthorn @steelport @calenhads @lavinet​ and anyone else who’d like to join in !!

you and the hat man

oh boy you're fighting demons aren't you? it's like you're in a constant staring competition with something that's always in the peripheral. what the fuck. (at least, that's how people who don't know you would react). at this point you've probably gotten pretty familiar with the hat man. he's a reliable kind of guy. keeps to himself, sure, but you can trust him to be there. maybe a haunting isn't too bad if it's never left your side. you can only imagine what it will be like when he's not there any more.

god-hungry scientist and their abominable child

you stitched something together inside of yourself and gave it life with light from the sky and now it won't die and you can't kill it because part of you loves it and you're not quite right in the head or the person you used to be but at the end of the day it's simply a beast of sadness. you crave the mercy you didn't get from your creators and so i'm telling you please forgive yourself. please hold the monster by the hand.

moon curse of the werewolf

you have found yourself hungered or sickened or ambitious to the point of emotional carnage. you are fine, until you're not, and then you could rip someone in your way apart with your bared teeth by complete accident, and later claw at yourself in fits of pain trying to apologize. do you look at the moon that blessed you in her name, at her marred beauty and baneful eyes, and wish she could just crush that loving-hateful heart of yours before it crushes itself? every bite you take out of flesh is a response to the threads of silver bullets in you that haven't healed. the duality is that the human inside is howling too, gnashing, and without the wolf pelt, everyone can ignore it and turn away. at some point, you got tired of the moon being your only witness. now the wolf is there to make sure others know that you are hurt, and deserving of humanity, of attention to wounds. because that wolf loves you; all of you; and knows when you are hurt better than yourself.

#feel free to ignore this if you want !! idk how many people have already been tagged fjsdkl #anyway. going to be annoying abt this in the tags now <3 #the main thing that gets me abt gray's is the 'maybe a haunting isn't too bad if it's never left your side' #like????? ik the hat man thing is probs supposed to be funny and it kinda is but it fits them so well #almost everyone close to them has died or left them atp but maybe it isn't so bad. just to have one constant #dmitri :| yeah. yeah #everything he felt he had to become to save his sister who was dead the whole time anyway but ended up being a better survival tactic anyway #so he just stuck with it until he died but then he comes back as a demon and now he has to live with what he did forever #i don't think he really could ever forgive himself. mainly for failing nina but it's started to eat him alive less and less over the years #mainly bc he does everything he can not to think about it too much but he also doesn't really want to totally get rid of that part of #himself. the part that was capable of torturing and killing all those people bc it really was powered by love and desperation to some extent #and that proves that maybe he has some shred of humanity left even if she's been gone for decades now #not that he does shit like that anymore. but he's capable and willing to for those he loves even if they'd probably hate him for it #and miko's :( #yeah #lashing out at people when it gets to be too much which is often given the life that she lives and then beating herself up for it nonstop #but it's also a way to protect herself and even tho she died young it got her pretty far #and it helped her protect other people (mainly gray and blake) when it came down to it because she couldn't stand seeing them hurt either #idk if i articulated myself v well but yeah jfdsklfdjs my dmc gang are all my blorbos #my ocs #tag #gray #dmitri #miko

[baldursgate3tempobsessed]

Hiii!

I love your writing, especially Mirror, Mirror! Are you still taking request? I‘ve been thinking about Ascended Astarion and female Tav/Reader attending a ball for the politicians and nobles of Baldur’s Gate, getting all dressed up and socializing, dancing and Astarion flirting with her all night long. Astarion obviously wouldn’t waste a chance to be alone with Tav/Reader, takes her on a romantic stroll in the gardens and has his wicked way with her somewhere in a dark corner 👀

I can not make Ascnedant Astarion not dark I am SORRY but I can't help myself. The intro to this is sad bad, but honestly it gets pretty fun later down the line. Gotta set up that Stockholm syndrome. You gots it here.

Tw: Murder, Violence, not much but it is there, graphic smut, 18+ sweet dark fluff. I do consider this Stockholm on your end. Very inspired by the in-game quote of locking you away for a decade. Also, never write shit only in tumblr post editor, I lost half of this right before I was going to post last and it almost killed me

~

Astarion was.... aware that you'd been having a hard time as of late. If anyone could empathize with the complications of being a vampire spawn, it was certainly him. Even though his circumstance were obviously much, much worse than yours ever could be.

He was no Cazador. Astarion was different, he loved you. He knew what was best for you. All that needed to happen now was for you to accept it.

And in your defense, you were trying. It had taken a long time for you to finally come to terms with the full extent of power he had over you as his spawn. He would always know where you were through sensation alone. Always ready and willing to drag you back home if need be. He could compel you to his side at any moment, though he did have a bad habit of going out to find you during your little tantrums. It seemed to work better to put you in your place, especially since he had very little self-control when it came to who you associated with. Many a possible friend had died at his hand, in front of your eyes. A waste, really, one that wouldn't be necessary if you would just listen.

But the demonstrations had been useful. Slowly but surely you were learning that the option of secrets between the two of you had died the second he sunk his fangs into your wrist. He had personally put an official stop to all of your extracurricular activities. The things you used to do in your spare time were silly and dangerous, always going out of your way to help the undeserving. But now he had the control to stop you, to sequester you at the estate where you were safe.

You had nowhere to be besides his side and you were finally starting to understand that. Things were so much easier when you gave in and listened, happier and more fun.

Lately, it had almost felt like another honeymoon phase, with your sudden predilection for extreme loyalty. It helped that he could still see into your mind through the new connection, fully aware that your love remained real and pure, if not a bit melancholic. It was silly really, the guilt you felt towards him for letting him ascend. Never mind the thousands he sacrificed, you were too concerned with how power had chanced him.

It was cute. Stupid, but cute. Because obviously it had changed him for the better. How else would he be where he was now? With his hands already in nearly every major part of Baldur's Gate's governance? He had made wide, sweeping moves to gain control in the past year, banking on your dual hero status to deflect from his more... unsavory attributes. But it was working, and in a few years time this city would belong to him. Then the two of you would be on to the next major conquest. A future that you were just now coming to terms with.

And Astarion wanted to reward you for that acceptance. He had been a bit paranoid of late, paranoid enough to not let you out of the house for a solid fortnight. But for good reason. The last of the Gur had come out of the woodwork recently, looking for revenge for their children and fallen comrades. With a specific interest in you. It had made sense, in a way. You were his greatest weakness after all. So of course he had to take it upon himself to personally hunt the last of them down to tear them limb from limb.

But now they were officially gone, and he was finally feeling comfortable with letting you out into the world again. Just not out of his sight. And tonight was the perfect opportunity. He had a mandatory soirée to attend, populated by neighboring nobles and a few powerful foreigners. One that would be so much more entertaining with you willingly by his side. Or forced, if need be. Depending on if you decided to be in one of your moods, though they were a rarity nowadays.

But no, you turned out to be too excited at the prospect of leaving the house to even attempt being a brat. Astarion watched you with a smile as you appeared at the top of the staircase, dressed to the nines. He whistled as he watched you descend, beyond pleased with how you looked. He met you at the bottom of the landing, easily wrapping an arm around your waist before setting a quick kiss to your temple, "You look beautiful pet. Absolutely stunning."

You truly did. A navy satin gown that matched your skin tone perfectly, fitted with delicate straps and a low bodice. Perhaps the slit in the leg was a little high, revealing too much of your perfect thigh for the rest of the world. But you looked too good for him to complain.

You really were so gorgeous, could he be blamed for wanting to dress you up?

You rolled your eyes, but Astarion didn't miss the tiny smile dancing on your lips, "You're the one who picked it out."

"And you wear it perfectly," Astarion praised, already leading you out the door. He kept you close to his side during the short journey, his eyes darting around your surroundings every few moments. His paranoia had been quelled, but it hadn't completely died out. But he had already made the decision that he was going to be on his best behavior tonight, and that included not indulging in his protective nature. You deserved nothing less.

But that didn't stop Astarion from taking some mental notes on those who stared at you too brazenly when you arrived. Part of him couldn't blame them, not when he could understand your thrall better than any one else. But the other, more fun part of himself was too busy imagining ripping them apart for the audacious, lustful stares.

But he didn't drag the two of you out for strictly fun, a fact that he was quickly reminded of when you were approached by the main host, "Lord Ancunín! I'm so pleased that you could make it."

Astarion vaguely remembered who he was, though he was much more interested in his friends than the man himself. The man turned his attention toward you, brow raised, "And who is this beautiful creature?"

Astarion could feel his brow twitch at the insolence. How dare he not know who you were? The Hero of Baldur's Gate, his consort, the love of his life, how could someone of his breeding be so ignorant? You had to many titles to choose from for introductions, so Astarion decided on the most important, "This is the future Lady Ancunín, my fiancé."

He could feel you tense at his side, staring up at him with wide eyes like what he said was surprising. Which was odd. He had been extremely clear about his intentions since the day he ascended, marriage was the obvious next step for the two of you.

"Well it's lovely to meet you," The noble said with a smile, his attention going straight back to Astarion, "Now if you'll excuse us, I have a few matters to discuss with your future husband."

Astarion was startlingly close to hurting this man. What on earth made him feel as though he had the right to dismiss you? He tightened the arm he had around your waist, sneering at him, "There is nothing that you can say that she won't eventually know. Don't waste our time."

Then he proceeded to do just that, wasting Astarion's time with useless information and worthless attempts at allyships. It seemed to be an unfortunate trend as the night progressed, just reinforcing how utterly useless the gentry could really be. Not to mention their constant passive dismissal of you. He really was going to need to start letting you out more often, though he had to wonder if they were even worthy of your presence. He would have been a bit more forceful regarding his own displeasure at their arrogance if you weren’t so distracting.

It was hard to hold onto his own indignation when you seemed so content. You were leaning into him the whole night, smiling softly through all of his inane conversations. Never failing to be adorably pleased at your introduction. It made Astarion want to fawn over you, alternating between whispering sweet nothings in your ear and sweeping you onto the dance floor. All of your pleased laughs and giggles music to his ears.

He kept you close all evening, never allowing you to wander past his sight. His arm stayed firmly around your waist, never quite shaken off after your first waltz together. But you didn't seem to mind. If anything you were glowing under the attention, happy in a way he hadn't seen for a long time. Too long. Beautiful enough for him to have the overly romantic thought that he never wanted the night to end.

Even after he had done his rounds, engaged with all whom he had planned on, he wasn't quite ready to leave. They had all been dreadfully dull, but at least a few conversations would prove useful in the future at the very least.

He started to steer you towards the back garden doors, whispering in your ear, "Take a walk with me?"

You followed him easily, happy to leave the bustle of the ballroom and step into the coolness of the night. You both started walking, hand and hand in a comfortable silence. It was a pretty enough garden, hedges and ivy lining the walkways, a white slightly weathered gazebo placed in the center.

"You know," You said eventually, as the two of you went up the gazebo steps. You leaned against the railing, looking at him with a coy smile, "I don't recall you ever proposing."

Astarion barely stopped himself from rolling his eyes as he crowded around you. It was an unnecessary question, considering how you would have no choice in the matter. But he was playing nice tonight. Astarion grinned at you, bracing his hands on the railing to cage you in his arms, "If you want a proposal, I'm more than happy to oblige."

"I do," You were playing with the lapel of his jacket, looking up at him through your lashes, "Sooner than later if you don't mind."

"Your wish is my command," Astarion murmured, shameless as he started to kiss along the line of your throat, "I'm proud of you pet. You've been an angel all night."

"You haven't given me much to complain about," You said with a small laugh, your breath hitching when his fangs scraped against your delicate skin, hard enough to make pinpricks of blood bubble to the surface.

"You know..." Astarion started, pulling back to look you in the eye. His voice gentle but serious, "It could always be like this. If you let it."

"I... I know," You admitted, biting on your lower lip as you struggled for the words, "I-I want that. I want you. Even if... it's like this."

Astarion would take offense at the subtle dig if it was anyone else. But with you? He was just happy that you were finally coming around, at long last willing to accept the fate he'd set for you.

"You have it," Astarion promised, tilting your chin up to press a light kiss to your lips, "For as long as I breathe my love, you're mine. And I'm yours-"

You kissed him before he could finish, wrapping your arms around his neck, forceful in a way that he had desperately missed. But you were pulling back too soon, your mouth swollen and your lipstick slightly smeared, smiling at him like the precious thing you were.

How could he resist?

"I think you deserve a reward for tonight my pet," Astarion said, leaning in to softly kiss along your jaw, "For being such a sweetheart."

His hands were wandering, already moving to pluck at the delicate straps of your dress, slowly teasing them to drop down your shoulders.

You made no moves to stop him as your eyes darted around the empty space, "H-Here? But what if someone sees?"

"Then I'll tear their eyes out and feed them back to anyone who stumbles on us," Astarion said simply, smiling at the way it made you laugh softly.

"Violence isn't always the answer you know," You said, your breath hitching as he lightly bit your neck. Your dress still slinking down all the while, "I thought we talked about that?"

"Perhaps," Astarion murmured, "But it seems to usually work in my favor."

He had already managed to slip the straps down enough to ease the way, brazenly tugging the fabric until your breasts spilled from the top. He leaned back in, taking the opportunity to slip his tongue into your mouth as you gasped; mewling when he began touching you, shamelessly pinching your nipples just to hear you whine.

He adored all your little noises, so easy to coax out of your mouth. He could feel his own cock pulsing in the confines of his trousers, the feeling getting worse and worse as you started to whimper.

Astarion let one of his hands travel further down, right through the slit in your gown. He traced the seam of your pussy through delicate lace, smiling into the kiss from how the simple touch had your hips pitching forward. He could feel you getting wet, already seeping through the fabric of your panties, your needy cunt already begging for his touch. And Astarion was more than happy to oblige.

He tore them from your hips, letting the tattered pieces fall unceremoniously to the ground before he started to rub his palm against your clit, more slick gushing out as you moaned.

You were clutching at his shoulders, panting into his mouth as he played with you. Your thighs tightened around his hand, your cunt wet enough to fill the air with messy, indecent sounds.

Whatever trepidation you had before was quickly dissolving, a small chant escaping your lips as you two kissed, Fuck me, fuck me, fuck me.

Astarion was more than happy to oblige.

"Hold onto me darling," Astarion ordered, giving you a split second to tighten your grip around his neck before he was lifting you in the air, settling you on top of the thick railing with your legs spread wide. He made quick work of taking his weeping cock out, rubbing it along the seam of your cunt as you moaned. And then he was pushing inside, the slide soaked and easy.

You felt so tight around him, tight and sopping wet as he started to fuck into you. He bent his head down, popping one of your hard nipples into your mouth as you cried out, your nails clawing into his shoulders. You wrapped your legs around his hips, trying to pull him in even closer, despite the fact that he was pressed deeply inside of you. Hitting all of your sensitive places.

He could tell that you were close, your whining getting more and more high-pitched by the second, your sweet cunt pulsing around his cock. Astarion started to rub at your clit again, at the perfect angle to make you tense up and cry out. And just like that you were squirting against his hand, breathing heavy as your orgasm ravaged through you.

Astarion grinned, popping off your breast to kiss your slack mouth. Naughty thing that you were, making a mess all over your fancy dress. He pulled back to look at you, debauched and panting, your pupils dilated at you stared up at him. You looked gorgeous, fucked out and perfect.

He started to fuck you harder, the erotic image was too much for his mind to handle. You where whining with each thrust, no doubt oversensitive as he roughly slammed into you. But you were a good girl, taking it without a single complaint as you held on for dear life, tears springing to the corners of your eyes. But lucky enough for you, you didn't have to wait long.

Astarion spilled inside of you with a drawn out moan, grinding circles into your cunt as you quivered. You pulled him in for another kiss, messily sliding your lips together as he filled you up. The two of you stayed like that for awhile, lazily kissing as he softened inside of you. It felt good, it felt right, the perfect end to a great night.

Astarion pulled out slowly, cooing at you as you gasped at the feeling. Your legs were still trembling as he set you back on the ground, bad enough for Astarion to wonder if he should just pick you up before you crumpled on the floor.

But first...

Astarion dropped to his knees, ignoring your surprised gasp as he spread your legs back apart.

"Hush darling," Astarion ordered as he pushed your dress back up, "Let me have a look at you."

Astarion was aware that he had gotten a little rough near the end there. It wouldn't be the first time he made you bleed during sex, nor the last. But he would hate to do so accidently. But no, your pussy looked perfectly healthy, if not a little swollen. Flushed and pink, your hole still twitching the slightest bit. The sight of your pussy all slick and red was nearly enough to make his mouth water.

"Spread your legs a little further pet," Astarion murmured, looking just to look. He gently added pressure to your shaking thighs until you complied, "That's it. Good girl."

His cum was already starting to leak out of you, the smallest bit of white making it's first appearance amongst your wet folds. No doubt it would be sliding down your legs soon enough. He could do something about that. But then again... the alternative sounded like too much fun.

Astarion stood back up with a smile, patting your pussy once before letting your dress fall back down, "Try to hold it in darling. We wouldn't want to make another mess, would we?"

You nodded slowly, still looking half out of it. A sweet, hazy look still plastered onto your face. You were already leaning in for another kiss, naturally desperate for more contact. Contact that Astarion was more than happy to give. He pulled you closer, kissing you deeply; your fingers tangling in his hair to pull him even closer. He wrapped his arms around your back, dipping his tongue between your lips as you dreamily sighed.

You pulled away first, to his displeasure, but you didn't go far. You rested your forehead against his, smiling softly with loving eyes, "Hi."

Astarion couldn't help but smile back, taking the time to tuck a wild piece of hair behind your ear, "Hello my treasure. Did you have fun tonight?"

"I think you know the answer to that," You giggled softly, "I'm not even sure I can walk."

That he did. And there would be many more nights like it. Though for now, he'd prefer to get you home. He felt a bit reluctant to parade you back out there for the masses eyes, so obviously debauched by his hands. No, the sight of you happy and flushed was for his eyes only. Your night would be ending here.

You squeaked as he swept you up in his arms, already muttering the magic for a portal under his breath. And just like that the two of you were gone, completely uncaring to give any good byes.

The two of you popped right into the entry hall of the estate, sudden enough to nearly scare a maid half to death. Astarion paid them no mind, too busy with carrying you upstairs to the sanctuary of your quarters.

You cuddled into his chest, looking up at him with a nervous look, "Did... Did I do good tonight?"

"Of course you did," Astarion cooed as he kicked the door to the bedroom open, trying to softly drop you on the bed, "Perfect creature that you are, what else could have possibly happened?"

But you didn't let go when he tried to pull back, clinging hard enough for Astarion to simply follow you. But he didn't mind, no he preferred you like this. Needy, wanting, and his. He twisted the two of your around, settling only when he had you laying on top of him. He would set a bath for the two of you later, but for now he was more than happy to lay here, watching as your tired to stay conscious. You always got so tired after sex, just one more silly thing that he was endeared by.

"I love you," You mumbled, your eyes falling closed, "Thank you for taking me tonight. For trusting me. I... thank you."

"I love you too darling," Astarion murmured back, kissing your forehead, "You get better by the day. I really am proud of you."

It was true. You were learning, adjusting. Give him a decade and you'd be completely immersed in your new life, all thoughts of useless things like "freedom" forgotten.

You were his. Until the end of time, you'd be together.

He'd make sure of that.

#astarion x reader #astarion #astarion x tav #baldur's gate 3 #ascended astarion #asks #you'll pry my long posts out of my cold dead hands #long fic #this took awhile #I'm slowly working through these asks but i can not make #anything simple #apparently #but i lost half of this near the end of the process and it broke me #she dirty #im telling yeah #she is

[ihavemanyhusbands]

A Feast of Blood

Also on AO3

Pairing: Vampire!Hannibal Lecter x Will Graham x Vampire!Reader (fem)

WC: 3.5k words

Summary: An AU in which Hannibal is a vampire. // Shortly after turning you into a vampire, your sire, Hannibal Lecter, teaches you how to feed, using Will Graham as subject. Things just get really horny from then on lmao

Warnings: Dead dove DO NOT EAT, SMUT (18 + ONLY), Fem!Reader, lots of body fluids being swapped (saliva, blood, cum // don't read if it makes you queasy), vampirism, blood drinking (consensual), blood mentions, biting, raw p in v (DO NOT DO IT), slightly subby Will?, very slight enemies to lovers if you squint, let me know if anything else!

Tags: @the-devils-littlegirl

--------

"Well fed devils behave better than famished saints." -D.L. Smith.

-------

The night drew closer to the hour between the dog and the wolf, shadows deepening. It had been quiet for the most part, as if the house was also holding its breath in anticipation.

Then the doorbell rang, loud as a death knell, announcing his arrival.

“Dinner time,” Hannibal said with a grin, his tone almost playful. 

He got up to open the front door, but you stayed put, smoothing out the hem of your dress. It was nothing fancy since you knew you would very likely ruin it, but you still wanted to look presentable.

You were more curious than nervous about tonight’s lesson, especially since it wasn’t with a complete stranger. 

For a week after Hannibal had turned you, he fed you only the blood that he’d procured. He’d wanted you to regain your strength first, but he had stressed the importance of learning to feed by yourself as soon as you were able.

As it were, Will, his most consistent donor, had been called in as the subject. You had met him well before you were turned, though even then Hannibal was well established as your sire. 

Will was always reserved, if a bit prickly, towards you. You wondered if he’d thought of you as just another one of Hannibal’s human playthings, gullible enough to believe he’d actually turn you.

It was true enough that Hannibal had fed on you a few times, but it was unlike his other feedings. You had watched him a couple of other times, oscillating between unbridled carnage and self-possession. 

The latter was more like bonding for him — The brutal intimacy of the bite, the unspoken trust that no deadly harm would be inflicted, the decadence of your life’s essence flowing through him. Sustaining him. 

But of course, he had kept his word, guiding you into the eternal night. And these were pleasures you would get to experience anew, just from the other side of things. You wondered what Will thought of the sudden turn of fate. 

He followed Hannibal into the living room, absentmindedly undoing the top buttons of his flannel shirt. You raised your eyebrows at Hannibal, who seemed equally amused at Will’s apparent eagerness. 

“A simple hello would be enough of a greeting,” you said lightly, tone just teasing enough for him to know you weren’t sneering. 

Will let his hands drop as he became conscious of his actions. “Force of habit.”

“Sit, please, Will,” Hannibal said, gesturing towards an armchair. “Make yourself comfortable.”

Will snorted at the irony of trying to relax around not one, but two bloodsuckers, but he sat regardless. His posture was tense, arms rigidly placed on the armrests, shoulders squared. 

“Don’t tell me you’ve started getting nervous now,” you said, feeling bold enough to continue testing him. “This isn’t your first rodeo.”

“Well, I trust Hannibal possesses enough self-control not to kill me. You, on the other hand…” He grimaced as if remembering himself, looking down. 

You sniffed, offended. “I didn’t pounce on you the minute you walked in, did I?” 

Hannibal put a placating hand on your arm. “Don’t take it to heart, my love. I have had years to harness myself, and it has not been an easy journey. And you, Will, must also understand that patience goes both ways.”

Will inclined his head in acknowledgment. “True, I apologize for that.”

Still, Hannibal could understand his spike in anxiety, but he’d decided to be polite and not mention it outright, as you did. 

“Something to drink for you, maybe? I’ve got that scotch you like,” he offered, and Will accepted.

As Hannibal went to get it for him, you and Will stared at each other for a tense moment. Perhaps his animosity stemmed from envy at you being a newly minted vampire. You weren’t sure if Hannibal had ever promised him anything, but you were sure your sire would have mentioned it if that was the case.

“Think you’ll be able to stand having me close to you?” You asked, tone mild once again. 

Hannibal returned, handing Will a glass of the amber liquid. He raised it in your direction, as if toasting to you. 

“After one of these, I’ll be loose and relaxed for you, don’t worry,” he said wryly, taking a swig. 

Your eyes were drawn to his throat as his Adam’s apple bobbed. You briefly wondered if you’d be able to taste the scotch in his blood, and if it would warm you the same way it did him.

“Better?” Hannibal asked, one eyebrow raised. 

Will nodded, flexing his fingers. Then, with a more determined look on his face, he turned to you. 

“Can I sit next to you?” He asked. “Seems like a good place to start.”

You slowly nodded, shuffling to the side to give him as much space as you could. You unconsciously glanced over at Hannibal for reassurance, and he gave you a serene smile.

“That’s better,” he said. “See? Nothing to worry about.”

This time, Will was sensible enough not to react. His head turned towards you, but his eyes didn’t meet yours quite yet. 

“That’s a nice perfume. What is it?” He asked, actively trying to soften his tone. 

“Oleander,” you said. 

“Deceptively sweet, but ultimately deadly,” he said, referring to the flower’s poisonous effects. 

He looked up then, eyebrows raised, and you let out an amused huff. “I suppose you’re gonna say it’s fitting.”

“That’s a given, but take that as a compliment, please.”

Hannibal chuckled. “There it is, Will. Flattery will get you much further.”

“Why don’t you sit on his other side?” You asked Hannibal. “Maybe he’ll be more comfortable that way.”

He complied, making Will scoot closer to the middle, his leg lightly brushing yours. That first contact made you tense, hunger stirring curiously within you.

Warmth emanated from him and your sensitive ears registered his heartbeat, loud as a drum. You could see the pulsing blue veins underneath his pale skin, branching out like the roots of an ancient tree. He was deliciously alive, and it filled you with longing. 

There were many things in your new, preternatural state that you were still getting used to. Nostalgia was a sheen on your mind you knew you had to shed, but it would take some time. You found yourself leaning closer to him, wanting to be near that spark, but both men misinterpreted this move.

“Easy now, we’re still warming up here,” Will said, but he didn’t move away. “Unless you’re just absolutely famished, then I don’t want you to torture yourself anymore.”

“I’m fine,” you said through gritted teeth.

“Do you need another drink, Will?” Hannibal asked, sensing the tension returning.

He shook his head. “I’m good for now. Do you think it might be a good idea to try with my wrist first?”

“Yes, great idea,” Hannibal said. “Though not too much. We’ll save it for the next part.”

Will unbuttoned his sleeve and rolled it up to his elbow. He offered you his arm, the inside of his wrist facing up. You took it gingerly, your fingers lightly following the patterns of his veins. The touch was so gentle it tickled him a little, making the hairs on his arm rise. 

You brought his wrist up closer to your face, looking over at Hannibal as your lips were mere inches from making contact. He nodded encouragingly.

“There is more room for error here, but not by much. Don’t fully sink your teeth in, it’s enough to just break the skin,” he said, making sure you were listening by holding your gaze.

This time, your eyes flicked over to Will’s face, and he also nodded. Your sharp, slightly elongated canines pierced the soft flesh and blood bubbled right into your mouth in a burst of flavor.

You let out a sound akin to a whimper, latching onto the wound. Will sucked in a sharp breath at the sting but stayed put. 

“That’s enough now,” Hannibal said firmly, bringing you back to the present.

You painstakingly reined yourself in and lapped it up with your tongue, closing the small wounds. Your lips were smeared crimson as you straightened, panting, chin dipped in slight embarrassment.

“Sorry…” you murmured, licking your lips. 

“Don’t apologize, you did good, Mieloji,” he said reassuringly, the Lithuanian endearment making you smile. “Now, how about we get to the good part?”

Hunger lashed your insides like a whip at the prospect of more. They could both see the feverish glint in your eye, and Hannibal knew you were trying your hardest to prove Will wrong. He wasn’t sure, however, of how long you would last before giving in to instinct.

He pressed a little closer to Will, knowing he would have to be more careful this time around. You, on the other hand, hesitated.

“Do you… need a break or something?” You asked Will slowly.

“No. Do you?” He said evenly, undoing a few other buttons on his shirt and pushing it off one shoulder.

You shook your head embarrassingly fast. He chuckled, and it was the first time you had seen him break out into a smile that night. It set you more at ease, encouraging you to draw closer as well.

His breathing hitched as you leaned against his arm. Your face neared the crook of his neck, and you gently nudged his jaw upwards with your nose.

“That’s it, my love, tilt his head just so,” Hannibal instructed patiently, his voice like a purr. “See the line of his artery, how his pulse surges at your nearness.”

Your mouth watered, your pupils blown wide with a beastly desire. Before you could help yourself, you traced the tip of your tongue over his skin. You could taste the adrenaline in his sweat, but a hum of pleasure escaped Will’s lips.

Hannibal chuckled, letting you indulge a moment longer.

“Now remember, the bite must be precise. A single fluid motion, otherwise it can get messy,” he continued, tangling his fingers through Will’s curls, keeping his head in place. “He will whimper, but the pain only lasts a moment.”

“What if he moves?” You murmured, voice low and slightly hoarse, conscience fighting through the fog of your bloodlust.

“He won’t, he’s very well-behaved. Isn’t that right, Will?”

Will nodded his assent, eyes heavy-lidded. “I promise I’ll be good.”

Angling your head to one side for better access, you didn’t let yourself hesitate. Once your teeth tore into the side of his neck, his body went rigid at first, but then it slowly started to relax. 

You clasped him against you, lost in the rush of blood his heart was suddenly pumping down your throat. Without you noticing, you hooked a leg over one of his, your body trying to envelop him like a serpent. 

It didn’t matter that you’d been bickering mere moments ago, bristling at the mere thought of being in the same room together. All of that melted away as soon as your lips touched his skin. Will’s breathing had turned shallow, the barest of sounds occasionally escaping his lips. 

His taste was indescribable, like pure starlight, crackling like electricity within you. It was unlike anything you had ever experienced, and all you wanted was more, more, more. You could perfectly understand why Hannibal would occasionally give in to savagery.

“Slow down,” Hannibal instructed, taking hold of one of your arms. “Slower. That’s it, good girl.”

You peered up at him through your lashes, your eyes bloodshot and utterly inhuman. He caressed the back of your head gently, proud of you for fighting so hard to keep control of yourself. He was on the same boat as you, the metallic scent like a siren’s lure.

“Now stop, before you take too much,” he said, looking over at Will. “Are you doing okay, Will?”

“Dizzy, but I’ll live,” he said weakly, groaning softly as you closed the puncture wounds with your tongue once more. “Do you need me, too?”

“Just rest for now,” Hannibal said absently, eyes fixed on you. “I’ll get myself a taste.”

You disentangled yourself from Will, slowly coming back to reality. The lower half of your face, your neck, and your chest were stained crimson, adorning you like macabre jewelry. 

Hannibal immediately drew you to him, kissing you like he was trying to devour you whole. The blood smeared messily between you, tongues swirling in each other’s mouths. When you separated, an obscene, pink string of saliva hung between your lips.

He cleared his throat, trying to compose himself some despite the desire glazing his eyes.

“I… I will get you some water, and something to eat,” He said to Will in a daze, standing up from the couch slowly. “Just— one second.”

You watched him leave the room, your mind still whirling from the whole thing. Then suddenly, you scented fresh blood once again and looked over at Will in surprise. He had bitten his lip hard enough to bleed, and it was starting to swell. He was breathing hard, and there was a plea in his striking blue eyes.

You let out a desirous, pathetic sound, your body moving on its own accord. Your lips slid over his in an almost kiss, your faces inches apart, breaths mingling.

“You really want me to kiss you?” You panted, eyes heavy lidded. “I thought you hated me.”

He shook his head. “It was envy, and it was want. It was always want.”

You kissed him then, trembling eagerly. It was slow and tentative at first, but intensity built quickly. You were still riding the high of feeding from him, but a languorous heat was also spreading through you; Burning everything else away.

You didn’t hear Hannibal returning, but you felt him take his place back on Will’s other side. One look at him, and you could immediately tell he was just as restless. You broke the kiss for a moment to meet Hannibal’s lips, enticing him further.

And when you returned to Will’s lips, Hannibal’s face drew close, too. Then all three of you were kissing, a mess of lips and tongues and an ever-growing voracity. 

You left them to it for a moment and practically tore the rest of Will’s shirt off, exposing more of his warm skin. You trailed open-mouthed kisses all over it and Will moaned into Hannibal’s mouth.

“Please,” he pleaded, as if it was the only word he could say. “Please.”

“What do you need?” You rasped, kissing his neck and making him shudder. 

“Have me, use me,” he said as Hannibal pulled back. “Leave nothing behind.”

Hannibal raised his eyebrows in delighted surprise, watching you slide onto Will’s lap, straddling him. 

“Careful what you wish for,” he said, smirking. “She just might make it come true.”

He stood and helped you pull your dress over your head. Will’s brows furrowed and he let out a small, agonized sound as he took you in. His hands roamed over you reverently, like a worshiper praising his goddess. 

You did quick work of his belt, pulling off his pants as much as you could. You reached down and felt the velvety underside of his erection with the tips of your fingers. His hips bucked into your hand and you shushed soothingly, gently, promising to ease his torment.

And then, holding it by the base, you slowly sank down on his cock. His grip tightened on your hips, helping you move as Hannibal dipped down to kiss you. His fingers stroked up and down your throat, keeping your head tilted back and your chest exposed.

Will’s lips latched onto one of the hardened peaks of your nipples, and you felt his stubble graze the soft skin as he rubbed his face against your breast. He repeated his motions with the other one, grunting when he felt you clench down on him slightly. His teeth added an edge that made you buck and writhe, but neither let you move too far.

You palmed Hannibal’s growing bulge over his slacks as you dragged your tongue over his. He covered your hand with one of his, pressing your palm tighter against it. Your hips rolled against Will’s faster, your free hand buried in his hair, tugging slightly.

“Fuck me,” you could hear Will breathe out in tempo with your movements, like a hypnotic chant. “Oh, yeah, fuck me… just like that.”

“Katinėli, let me get a better taste of you,” Hannibal murmured deliriously, tilting your head to the side and biting into your shoulder.

You cried out, eyelids twitching as your eyes rolled back into your skull. It was that overwhelming rush that made the first orgasm violently slam against you. Momentarily, you became nothing but pure sensation, held aloft by the two of them. 

When you came back into your body, Hannibal was mending the skin of your shoulder, undoing his slacks. You collapsed against Will, trying to catch your breath. He clung to you, in the last throes of his own release. As it turned out, the intensity of your climax had milked out his own. He smiled beatifically, his eyes heavy-lidded, long lashes fanning close to his cheekbones.

You couldn’t help a weak chuckle, lightly kissing his jaw. “Now you might need a break.”

“When I get my strength back, you’ll see… but for now, yes,” he said, also chuckling.

“All the better for me,” Hannibal said from behind you. Your back bowed as he planted a ticklish kiss on the base of your spine. “It’s my turn to reward you.”

Your gluttonous desire flared back to life, and you were pliant as he helped you off of Will, bending you over the back of the couch. Hannibal extended his hand towards him and said, “A little help?”

Will spat in his hand, and Hannibal slicked his saliva over his cock. You heard him suck in a breath as he pushed into you, stretching you slowly. Will offered you his hand and you threaded your fingers through his, keeping eye contact with him as Hannibal’s hips began snapping into yours. 

Your mouth was slackened by wanton moans, your body pressed flat against the back of the couch as Hannibal bent over you. One of his hands was on the back of your neck, pinning you in place, while the other gripped your hip.

“Such a good girl for me,” he panted. “You did so, so good tonight.”

“Please, let me taste you too,” you begged, already losing yourself once more to the hazy oblivion.

He could deny you nothing, so he presented his wrist to your wanting mouth. The pain of your teeth was exquisite, and you drank with the greediness of the famished.

Drinking from each other was like falling in love all over again. Like the deepest embrace, beyond carnality; Beyond even the physical. More of his weight leaned on you as he slid in and out of you, faster and faster, the collective euphoria between you growing. His grunts and moans were like a savage melody to your ears, indicating that he was getting close.

Will was whispering praise and sweet nothings near your ear as you gripped his hand tighter. These soft coaxings, along with the soothing feeling that Hannibal’s blood brought, and you felt yourself dissolve once more like seafoam under the sunlight. The ecstasy was almost religious, a glimpse of the heaven you might never see beyond moments like this. 

But if it meant your nights would be filled with such encounters, then you were more than okay with that. 

With one last, triumphant growl, Hannibal came inside of you. His cock was fully sheathed in your cunt, his last few strokes short and tight, riding out every last wave of pleasure alongside you.

He slipped out of you, withdrawing his wrist from your mouth. You sat back down next to Will, leaning against him. With the last of your strength, grabbed the glass of water and helped him drink from it. The three of you shared sated, conspiratorial smiles, like you instinctively knew all along things would lead to this moment.

“How about a bath?” Hannibal offered, kissing your shoulders as he hovered near you. “We could all use some cleaning up.”

“That’s a good idea,” you said. “And then we can take better care of Will here. I want to make sure he recovers his strength, after all.”

Will couldn’t help but chuckle. “Oh, you’re so kind to think about me.”

You smiled a Cheshire cat’s grin. “See? I can give as much as I take.”

“I’m never doubting you again,” he said, glancing up at Hannibal. “Either of you. Hannibal was right about you all along.”

You nuzzled his neck. “Hmmm, if only you’d realized sooner, we’d have been much more amicable before this.”

“But I’m yours now too, aren’t I?”

Yes, he was, and neither you nor Hannibal had any plans to let him go any time soon.

-------

#will graham x hannibal lecter x reader #will graham x reader #hannibal lecter x reader #vampire!au #vampire!hannibal lecter #vampire!reader #minors dni

[loving-barnes]

Bucky Barnes - My past, my mission

A/N: I was watching Marvel movies and this just popped into my head. It's not good, there are mistakes but I tried. Please, beware that there are heavy topics discussed in this one shot. Now, I can take another break for a decade.

Pairing: Avenger!Bucky Barnes x Avenger!enhanced!female reader

Warning: angst, dark themes (mention of abuse and sexual abuse, torture, children), death, fluff

Please, do not read if you are under 18. This story contains darker themes/topics.

Words: 10 000+

FULL MASTERLIST

The team was worried. They had been watching Y/N distance from them and they didn’t know why. Everything seemed fine. That changed almost two weeks ago. She started to hide in her room, attend the gym when no one was there and kept silent when they had a meeting. No one knew what happened. The only person she talked to was Nick Fury. More than once they saw her in a small conference room with him, where they were talking. 

“You need to tell them what is happening,” said Nick when they were once again sitting together, talking. “The team is here for you.” 

“No,” she said stubbornly. “I’m going to deal with it myself.” 

He sighed. “You need backup. It’s dangerous. You won’t be able to handle it on your own.” 

She rolled her eyes. “I don’t want them to know this part of my life,” she whispered. A tear was trying to escape her eye but she managed to control her emotions. 

“Listen, they already noticed that you are not being yourself,” he said. “Since you’ve found out the location of the Youth Center, you are acting differently. It took a toll on you. I know how hard your childhood and teenage years were. But I am telling you, if you want to end this, you need a backup for this mission.” 

“I can handle it on my own,” she raised her voice. “They made me who I am today. I know how they operate. I’m going to do it alone. I don’t want anyone to get hurt. And if I die, so be it.” 

“Come on,” he was getting irritated. “Take at least Barnes. You two have a similar history and work well together.”

“I said no,” she smashed her hand against the table. “You won’t change my mind. I’m doing it alone and I am leaving tonight.” She stood up with a loud noise. The chair creaked. “If I don’t make it back, tell them I just left. Tell them I was relocated. My only wish is you won’t tell them the truth.” 

Nick shook his head. “You are making a mistake.” 

“I told you the same when you took me in and made me part of the team.” She reached her hand to his. He hesitated but took it and they shook hands. “I am thankful.” 

“I am not saying goodbye to you, Y/L/N,” he said. “At least think about it.”

She left the conference room and headed back to her bedroom. It was time to pack and leave. This was her moment, the perfect opportunity to destroy the place that used children to experiment on them. It was a dark place. They were kidnapping them, abusing them and testing on them as if they were lab rats. Successful tests resulted in children with different abilities. Those that obliged were spared and kept as weapons. Others were killed. 

When she escaped, they moved places and she couldn’t find them since - until now. Oh, how she’s been waiting for this opportunity. 

The Centre got bigger, hidden in the woods in Northern Canada. There was nothing but wild nature. The weather would be cold and unpleasant. Fury was right when he told her to bring backup, but she didn’t want to risk the lives of people whom she considered family. What if it didn’t seem as bad as it was presented? The truth was, they didn’t have a lot of information. 

“Hey, Y/N,” she heard Natasha say her name. 

“Hi,” she replied, not looking at her, not stopping to chat. 

“Come on, talk to me. We are friends,” she ran to her, trying to walk her pace. “Everyone is worried about you.” 

Y/n rolled her eyes. “Everything’s fine,” she said. “I have a lot on my plate these days.”

“You are a bad liar, Y/N. We all can see that it’s not fine and something is bothering you. You’ve been keeping your distance, you barely talk to us. What happened?” 

“Nothing,” she was annoyed. “I’ll deal with it myself.” 

That answer made Natasha stop and let her leave alone. She was immediately thinking about what she said. What did she mean by “deal with it myself”? She could already put two and two together. 

She turned around and briskly walked to the other side of the building where the rest of the team was hanging out. It was a Saturday evening. That meant beer time and chat. When she arrived in the lounge room, all eyes were on her. “Did you find out anything?” Steve was the first to ask. 

She sat down on an armchair, frowning. “No and yes,” she said. “She didn’t want to talk at all. She barely looked at me.” 

“And what is the “yes” for?” Sam asked, confused. 

“She said, she will deal with it herself,” Natasha said. “Which indicates she was not talking about mental or emotional things. This means she was talking about something bigger.” 

Bucky was silently sitting next to Sam, watching his friend think out loud. He was holding a beer in his metal hand. No one knew how hard this time had been on him. No one knew how much his heart ached when Y/N stopped talking to him - to everyone. 

“Do you think she could be going on a solo mission?” Tony asked. 

“Maybe that’s it,” she nodded. 

“What the fuck? I thought Fury would discuss it with us,” said Stark angrily. “I’m not saying she can’t handle it alone, but we should know about the mission and discuss it.” 

“I have to agree,” Steve nodded. “She works well with us, but I’m not sure she was ready for a solo mission.” 

“This whole thing stinks,” Sam said. “Think about it - she’s been talking to Fury for the last few days. Her whole demeanour changed with a snap of fingers.” 

“FRIDAY, do we know anything on Y/N?” Tony asked his AI. “What’s her status?” 

“She’s currently in her room, not accepting visitors,” said FRIDAY. 

“What if she asked for transition?” Clint asked. 

“What?” Bucky’s eyes widened. That thought made his heart sink. Why would she want to do that? Was she not happy here? He thought they were friends. He thought that maybe… 

Tony made a face. “I don’t think so. We would already know if she was that unhappy.” 

“I think we saw a lot of that for the last few days,” said Sam. 

“Let’s give her a day and we will try to talk to her tomorrow,” Steve suggested. “We don’t know what is going on and we don’t want to jump to conclusions.” 

The team relaxed - except for Bucky and Natasha. They both were thinking about her. They were trying to figure out what was going on. 

“We should ask Fury,” said Bucky out of nowhere. 

“No,” Natasha shook her head. “If they made a deal, he would keep his lips sealed.” 

Y/N didn’t waste her time. She put on her custom tactical suit that would keep her warm even in the cold weather. She packed the most important stuff, but mostly geared up. She would be using her special abilities that she got unwillingly. 

She checked her watch. It was time. The sooner she’d leave the better. She wouldn’t be able to say goodbyes to anyone. It was better this way. She put on a long black leather jacket, and a backpack and left her room. She was about to pilot a jet for about six hours. It would be a long night. 

Tony was awoken by a beeping sound. He slowly opened his eyes and groaned. He finally got some sleep after a week and he was rudely awakened by his AI.

“Boss,” FRIDAY sounded urgent. “The Jet 05 was taken five hours ago,” she informed him. 

He quickly sat up, rubbing his eyes. “What? Who authorised it? Why didn’t you wake me sooner?” 

“Nick Fury,” FRIDAY answered. “The jet was taken by Agent Y/L/N. I tried to wake you, but you were deep asleep.” 

“What the fuck?” he said to himself. “Call the team immediately and I want Nick Fury here as soon as possible.” 

The team gathered in the biggest conference room they had. Tony was waiting for them, with a hologram of Y/N’s information presented in the middle of the table. He seemed nervous, even pissed and the team saw it. 

“Where did she go?” Natasha was the first one to ask. That’s when a map of the jet's route was shown to them. 

“North Canada. She’s still in the air,” said Tony. “The autopilot was turned off and she’s not using FRIDAY. But there is one tracking device she didn’t turn off. That’s why we know her location.” 

Bucky was silently sitting in a chair, looking directly at her photo. He should have gone to her, talked to her and convinced her to take him with her.  

“You okay?” Steve asked him silently when he noticed his friend struggling. 

“No,” he admitted. 

Steve sighed and leaned closer to him. “I know how much she means to you, but we need more information before we proceed.” 

When Nick stepped into the room, he was met with stern glares and upset people. He expected that. He knew what the reaction would be and he was prepared for everything. “You only figured it out because I arranged it,” he said. “And, also, because Natasha listens.” 

“Why don’t we know more about this?” Natasha asked him. “She’s part of the team, part of this family and you two have decided to leave us out of it.” 

Fury took a chair next to Stark. He was calm. “There’s a lot of things you still don’t know about her. When we decided to bring her here, we had long discussions about her, the abilities she has and her past. We made a deal: she would tell you her story once she’s ready.” 

“Why?” Clint asked. 

“It’s not my story to tell,” said Fury. “You cannot expect someone to tell you about other people’s lives. Same here - she wanted trust, she wanted to feel safe before she’d let you in.”

“So, she doesn’t trust us?” Natasha asked. 

“She does. It was only a matter of time before she’d tell you everything. This, however, is something bigger than you can imagine. I know all of you had a rough past. Y/N’s the newest member of the Avengers initiative and I gave her my promise not to tell you a word.” 

“You are not going to tell us what her mission is?” Steve glared at the director. “We should just wait and see if she comes back?” 

Fury nodded. “That’s what she wants.” 

Bucky thought back to the moments when they talked together. He recalled one night when they were both sitting on the rooftop of the building when neither of them could sleep. They talked about their nightmares, but she wasn’t specific. There was one thing he could remember her saying. 

“I wasn’t born with these powers. They were given to me,” she said sadly, looking at the little purple lights swirling between her fingers. 

They were given to her, which meant she was on her way to a place that gave her the powers. His eyes widened. “Holy shit,” he gasped and that brought everyone’s attention. 

“What?” 

“Two months back, we were sitting on the roof talking and she said to me that she wasn’t born with the power. It was given to her,” Bucky explained. 

Natasha caught up. “She’s going to the place where she was given her power.” 

Fury nodded. “She didn’t want any backup. She wants to do it alone. I believe she’s ready but I suggested she took someone from the team.” 

Barnes abruptly stood up from the chair, letting it fall on the floor and ran out of the conference room. He was ready to find her and be her backup. All he needed was to change, armour up and take a jet. 

“Bucky, wait,” Natasha shouted his name. 

“I have to find her,” he shouted back, not stopping. 

“I’m coming with you. We’ll meet at the hangar.” 

Y/N had no idea that the team had figured it all up - sort of. She arrived in the province of Nunavut, Canada. She landed with the jet in the middle of nowhere, surrounded by deep forest. Once the jet was secured, she left her coat in the jet and grabbed some weapons for the mission. All the details she memorised while on her way to this place. 

The building was three times bigger than the last complex she was raised in. Many children of various ages were held captive in this Youth Centre. The number was still unknown. That’s what it was called. To the public, it was known as a young offender’s institution - a place where they taught children to be better and do better. Y/N knew the truth. She saw the truth. it was a place where they tortured, killed and experimented on kids. All of the memories came rushing back. 

They were as painful as the torture she experienced. For a moment she felt as if she travelled back in time and saw her arms covered in IVs. They were bruised from the needles and burst veins. No wonder she had a problem withdrawing blood or vaccinations.

Her breath became shaky. Maybe it was the cold, maybe it was the painful feeling crawling through her body. 

Using her power, she lifted from the ground and flew through the forest to her final destination. This was her opportunity for revenge - destroy this evil facility and the people who worked there. 

What about the children? What about those who were not corrupted and wanted to live freely? She didn’t know. All she wanted was to destroy this place, even if it meant losing her own life. Was it wrong of her to kill everyone? Maybe.

There it was, a castle-like building in the middle of nowhere. When she was young, the Youth Centre was located in the States. Once she freed herself, they relocated here. 

She landed in a tree where she had a great vangate point. First, she needed a plan. By looking at the perimeter, she could see at least a dozen soldiers walking around the place, keeping an eye on intruders. From the files Fury gave her, there were potentially at least over a hundred men walking around the building. That was the last thing she feared. 

If there were any enhanced children, that would be a problem. It was hard to predict whether they were compelled to obey their orders or if they were still able to think for themselves. The first thing she should do was to infiltrate the building and try to find any children who were still human and try to get them out. Afterwards, it was time to destroy this place.

“If only Wanda and Vision were with us,” Natasha said while piloting the jet. 

Bucky was checking his guns and ammo in the back, wanting to be as prepared as possible. They had four hours to go. Y/N’s jet was located in the middle of a forest, in Canada. From the satellite that belonged to Stark, they found a building there too. It made sense that’s where she was going. 

“They wanted some time off,” Steve commented. “We will have to do it without them.” 

The Captain wanted to join Natasha and Bucky. So did Sam and Tony. Bruce and Clint stayed at the HQ where they monitored the situation from there. 

“I will have a serious talk with Y/N once we are on our way home,” said Tony. 

“Everyone calm down,” said Natasha. “She’s doing what she thought was the best.” 

“I don’t get it,” Sam thought out loud. “How bad could it be?” 

Bucky kept his eyes lowered on the gun he had in his hand. He kept replaying all the conversations he had with her. He thought of one moment when they were at Stark’s party.

She was sitting at the bar, drinking wine when he approached her. She looked stunning that night. They joked, commented on the snobby people around them and laughed at the event. “In the end, I’m enjoying this,” she said with a smile. 

“Really?” Bucky was surprised. “I thought parties weren’t your thing.” 

“That’s true. But I like to enjoy life as it is now. You never know how bad a person had it in the past,” she shrugged and drank the rest of the wine in one go. He could relate to that. If only he knew what her past was. 

“How are you doing?” a hand appeared on his shoulder. It was Steve checking up on him. 

Bucky shook his head. “I don’t know. I keep thinking back at our conversations, trying to find a clue, but I have nothing,” he admitted. “I want her to be safe, Steve. I care about her. I should have told her that a long time ago.” 

“We’ll find her and bring her back home,” said Steve reassuringly. “Then you can tell her.” 

“I fucking love her, Steve,” he finally admitted to his friend. “I never thought I would after everything that happened. I fear that we’ll be late.”

Y/N’s heart skipped a beat out of nowhere. She frowned. That was odd. She thought it was the adrenaline, but she wasn’t sure. 

She was running out of time. The sun would set in less than four hours and she wanted to finish this mission before dark. The plan was simple - attack, use her abilities to kill every man that was there, get inside, look around and find those assholes that started this twisted institute. If they were able to destroy Hydra and the Red Room, she would be able to end this. 

She could manipulate objects and create force fields. She had both offensive and defensive abilities. She and Wanda were almost alike. However, Wanda was a witch and was able to do more than Y/N. Wanda said to her, that she’s powerful too. 

With a deep breath, she jumped off the tree. Y/N was ready to end it all once and forever. 

With her powers, she captured each man who was outside, throwing their bodies to the wall and breaking their bones. Some of them died, some of them were unconscious from the pain. She cleared her path into the building. Once she approached the courtyard, she was met with more men, heavily armed. It seemed as if they were expecting her. 

All those emotions, rage, anger, and sadness caused her power to intensify. She was able to cover herself with a forcefield while she disarmed them and destroyed their weapons. That’s when an alarm was turned on.

Focus on the power running through your veins, she heard Wanda say. That’s what she told her all the time when they trained together. 

She was powerful, she could do it. She could end it all. 

Once all the men were down, she walked to the entrance door. Her adrenaline was high. Somewhere deep, she was thrilled. A smile appeared on her face as she walked further inside. For a brief second, she lost focus and a bullet scratched her shoulder, making her bleed. She groaned from the pain. 

Her eyes turned purple as she gathered her strength, surrounded the soldier in her powerful magical grip and threw him out of the nearest window. Fucker. 

First, she wandered the hallways of one sector, checking each room. They were empty. She turned to another hallway and checked there - nothing. There were classrooms and offices. It was all empty. 

When she met more soldiers, she swiftly defeated them. She took out her gun, ready to use it. She spent a lot of time at the shooting range. When an opportunity came, she shot a man straight into his head. Headshot, she heard a low male voice inside her head. 

Weird, there were no children to be found. Was it a trap? It was all too easy. That was until she stepped into a hall where she was met with those who made her the way she was. 

Adam Lewinski, the head of the Youth Centre, was staring at her like a hawk. By his side was his wife Greta. He had a right hand, Vladimir Vanko. They were standing at the very end of the hall. 

“What a pleasant surprise,” said Adam with a broad smile on his lips. “Did you miss your home?” 

They hadn’t aged a lot since she escaped. The woman had grey hair and Vladimir gained weight. Their presence made Y/N nauseous. She wanted to scream from all the pain but nothing came out. Her brain was fogged. She heard a loud ringing sound in her ears. 

She registered laughter. “Not so powerful, are you? And you call yourself an Avenger?” 

Y/N tried to open her eyes and looked at the cause of her pain. There was a boy, maybe eight years old, using his power on her. How come they were able to modify them to possess such ability? 

You know what to do, she heard herself say. There was no other way. She had to do it. Kill him before he kills you. He’s lost. 

Gathering her strength, she twisted her hand and sent a purple mist at the child, wrapping it around its neck. With a pull, she heard a loud crack and simultaneously the pain was gone. Taking a deep breath, she fell to her knees. Finally, she could breathe. However, it took its toll on her. 

Y/N just killed a child. 

Tears flooded her eyes as she tried to breathe through her nose. “Fuck you,” she said with a shaky voice. “How can you use children like this?” She stood up on her feet, glaring at the trio in front of her. 

“Haven’t we made you special?” asked Greta and took a step toward Y/N. “Our program gave you the abilities. We made you who you are now. You are an Avenger thanks to us. And yet you are an ungrateful brat,” she laughed. 

“You destroyed families. You took children from their parents and killed them. You used us against each other, making us kill one another. Do you think that is normal?” Y/N asked. “Do you think this is a good thing?”

“You don’t understand it, do you?” Vladimir approached her without any fear. His voice was deep and cold. “Without us, you would be nothing. All of those children were meant to be doomed - raised by abusive parents, in the streets. We gave you a new home, we gave you a purpose.” 

“No, you didn’t,” Y/N opposed. 

Adam whistled. It was a high-pitched sound that echoed around the hall. That’s when more than twenty children entered the hall. Y/N’s eyes widened. Some of them were teenagers, and some of them were literal children. The youngest must have been five years old. 

“There are our greatest creations,” Greta said. “They are more powerful than you think - some have superstrength, one is fast, other can cause you pain with a simple touch. You killed our beloved Lucas. He was such an extraordinary boy. Can you imagine harming someone with a simple look?” 

“You are nothing compared to them,” Vladimir said. “Just because you can manipulate some objects… as if that was something special,” he laughed. 

“We control them,” Vladimir continued. “They would do anything we say - protect us, die for us. They are programmed differently. We didn’t want to allow them to think as a free person.” 

“Weapons of mass destruction,” Adam added. “That’s what they are. That’s what they were meant to be.”

Y/N took a good look at those children. They seemed normal, human. Inside, they were modified, and powerful. How powerful? She was about to find out. 

“Children, it’s playtime,” Adam clapped his hands. 

That was their cue. Slowly, one after another they started to walk towards her. This was the moment she realised how stupid she was to not bring a backup. If she had to die, she’d die trying to stop the potential threat. 

“By the way,” she heard Adam say, “some of the children are waiting for their death, others were moved to our buyers. There is a group that will be given the serum once we are done with you.” 

You have to kill them, she said to herself. End it all. These are not children anymore, she reminded herself. 

That’s when a first child threw a fireball directly at her. She protected herself with a force field. Another hit came right afterwards. Shit. There was a girl that had superstrength. She was able to get close to Y/N and hit her on the right shoulder. Y/N immediately fought back, throwing her against the farther wall. Once she fell to the ground, the wall was covered in her blood. 

Luckily, these children were not immortal. 

The team landed the jet right next to the one that Y/N took. Bucky was the first one to run out of the jet, running to the other one to check it. He didn’t find her. “Fuck,” he mumbled, holding her leather jacket tightly in his fists. 

“We’ve got to move,” Steve ordered the team. “We don’t know how much time we got.” 

The newest nano-tech suit covered Tony’s body. He was ready for some action. “FRIDAY, talk to me. What do we have?” 

“I have analysed the building. There are many dead people. I have captured activity inside the building. It looks like Miss Y/L/N is there,” she informed them. “Boss, if the scanning is correct, she’s fighting children.”

Natasha’s eyes widened, not believing what she heard. “What?” she gasped. “What do you mean children?” 

“The place is holding captive more than 80 children. A group of them are now in an active battle with Miss Y/L/N,” said the AI. 

“Children?” Sam said to himself. 

“I can capture levels of power coming from the place.” 

“Enhanced,” said Steve. Slowly, they were putting the pieces together. “This must be the place where she gained her abilities.” 

“This must be the place where she grew up,” Natasha whispered.

Bucky’s heart ached. She went to fight her demons alone. He was the first one to move, leaving the team standing there. “Wait,” Natasha called after him. “We need a plan.” 

“No, we need to move, now, before it’s too late.” 

“He’s right,” Steve nodded. “Tony, Sam, get in the sky and secure the perimeter. Keep us updated.” 

The time was ticking. 

Y/N was bleeding from her nose. Her body ached as the children took turns, trying to kill her. So far, she was able to eliminate five of them. It was becoming more difficult. They were stronger than her. They didn’t have any emotions. All they wanted to do was finish her off. Y/N’s energy was low. It was hard to keep up with them. 

Before she knew it, they captured her and brought her down on her knees. The girl with superstrength punched her in the face, making her bleed from her mouth. She tore her skin under the right eye. Another hit was on her stomach. Y/N groaned from all the pain and spit out some blood. 

Her vision was blurred. Her ears were ringing and it was hard to breathe. This was it. She was too weak to defeat a bunch of enhanced children. Their experiments were different than back in the day. They had no mercy. 

You need to kill them all, she heard a voice in her head. They are not children anymore. 

Out of nowhere, she could see the faces of people she loved the most. Natasha was smiling at her. Steve had a proud look on his face, and Sam laughed as if she said the funniest joke ever. And then there was Bucky who kept lovingly staring at her, holding his hand stretched out to her. You are stronger than you think. 

Oh, how she loved him. She would never be able to tell him. She was too scared to do so and now, she wouldn’t have the chance. The love she had for her family and for that man brought a warm feeling to her chest. It was beautiful and pleasant. It made her want to fight more. 

“Any last words?” she heard Adam’s voice echo around her. 

“Burn in hell,” she mumbled. 

Y/N gathered all the energy she had left. She never did this before. As if her body was telling her what to do, guiding her through the unknown and making her release it all for the whole world to see - her full potential. 

With a painful scream erupting from her throat, she released the power from her entire body. Each child was thrown away into the cracking walls of the building that started to shake from its core. The ceiling started to fall and the stability of the building weakened. 

“You are going to kill us all,” she heard Greta scream. 

Y/N’s purple mist changed into purple-blue electricity, surrounding her body. The ground under her started to shake. It reminded her of an earthquake. She closed her eyes and let it all consume her. Everyone dead meant no more potential threat to the world. And then, she threw her hands up in the air. 

“What the hell is happening?” Sam asked once he flew over the building. “Something’s not right.” 

“The building is about to collapse,” FRIDAY informed them. “There is a high amount of energy surrounding the place. It belongs to Miss Y/L/N.” 

“No!” Bucky screamed.

When the Captain, the Widow and the Soldier arrived at the border of the estate, they watched as the whole building started to fall before their eyes. Blue and purple cracks appeared on the walls. They were watching it without breath until the rays of Y/N’s power got out of the building. There was a sound that reminded them of an explosion. And then the building collapsed. 

Everyone got covered in dust and the place got silent. The team kept staring at the ruins of the building. It was unrecognizable. No one could have survived it. 

“Holy shit,” someone said.

Bucky fell on his knees, not believing that he had lost her. He couldn’t breathe. All he could feel was pain. His heart shattered. There was no way she could have survived it.

“FRIDAY,” Tony mumbled the AI’s name. “Any signs of life?” 

“Scanning.” 

“Holy shit,” Sam said once he landed next to Steve. “What the fuck happened?” 

“I don’t know,” Steve replied. Once he could see better, he moved forward. 

“No signs of life, boss,” said FRIDAY after a minute. 

“Shit,” he sighed. 

They all started to walk on the remains, trying to find Y/N’s body. Natasha could see tiny hands sticking out of the bricks and wood. It was a horrifying look. So far, she counted six dead children. When she noticed an adult hand, she quickly ran to it, trying to lift any boulder covering the body. Unfortunately, it wasn’t her. It belonged to an unknown woman. “More people were present,” she said into her comm so the rest of the team could hear her. “I have a woman, mid-fifties, without signs of life.” 

They kept walking around, counting the people who died. No one could find Y/N’s body. 

“I’ve called Fury,” Tony informed them. “He’ll be sending a team of people here to get out the bodies and identify the children. Agent Hill and her team that is in Canada will be here in two hours.” 

Steve had his eyes locked on the ground. He kept searching the ruins until he found another hand. This one was familiar. The nails were covered in dust and dark red nail polish. His heart skipped a beat. He prepared himself and uncovered the body. 

It was her. Y/N’s body was covered in dirt. Her forehead was torn and bleeding. Her face had bruises. The suit was torn in many places. “I found her,” he informed the team, swallowing the grief. 

He squatted down, his fingers gently brushed her cheek. A tear escaped his eye. Why didn’t she call them? They would have helped. This should have ended differently.

Natasha was the first to arrive, gasping when she saw her friend lying there, dead. A sob escaped her lips. Then Sam arrived, not believing his eyes. It was difficult for them to see her like this - lifeless, beaten and dead. 

Steve was about to lift her body into his arms when he heard a heavy intake of breath. Quickly, he put two fingers on her neck, trying to find a pulse. “Shit,” he gasped when he felt it under his two fingers. “She’s still alive!” 

Tony flew to them, letting FRIDAY take a complete scan. “Vital signs critical.”

Natasha and Sam helped him take her out of the ruins. Steve held her tightly in his arms as he quickly, yet carefully, walked over the bricks, food and stones. One of her arms was lifelessly hanging down.  

“Let me take her,” Sam suggested. “I can fly her to the jet and get her to the nearest hospital. I know some people from the military.” 

“I’m coming with you,” said Tony. 

Steve nodded and handed her body to Sam. Before Bucky could approach them and see with both eyes she was indeed alive,  both Tony and Sam flew away from them to the jets. 

“No, wait,” Bucky shouted at them. “I wanted to…”

“She’s on the verge of life and death,” Steve stopped Bucky by putting a hand on his shoulder, squeezing it. “She needs immediate medical attention. We will get to her, all right?”

“But Steve-”

“I know, Buck. I know you are worried. We all are. We can only hope that they will make it on time.”  Steve could see the fear in Bucky’s eyes. Unfortunately, there wasn’t much they could do for her. 

She was in and out of consciousness. Her ears registered the rumbling sound of a jet engine. Was she in the jet? She wasn’t sure. Was that the sound of the falling building? All she felt was pain and her brain brought her back to the moments she’d like to erase from her memory forever. 

All of a sudden, she was sitting on a rustic chair with her hands tied behind her back. She was so small, still a child, maybe ten years old. The cold brought goosebumps to her skin. The window in the room was open. It was early winter. They left her sitting there in her underwear as a punishment. Suddenly, someone was holding her cheeks, screaming into her face. It was one of the guards. He pulled her hair, smacked her face and kept yelling. She felt as if she was suffocating. 

Y/N, she heard her name somewhere in the distance. Hold on. We are almost there. 

“Hi,” she heard Bucky greet her. When she turned around, he was sitting on the couch in the lounge room. It was that time when she couldn’t sleep because her past was still haunting her. “Are you okay?” 

“Can’t sleep,” she walked to the couch and sat down next to him. “Bad dreams.” 

“I get that. Sometimes it is hard to rest after a difficult mission. Nightmares invade your mind and won’t let you sleep,” he said. 

She looked at him, memorizing every detail on his handsome face. “Do you… Do you ever wish that you were killed?” 

He looked into her eyes and took a deep breath. “I used to,” he replied. “Now, I don’t.” 

They kept staring into each other’s eyes. “Yeah, same,” she smiled at him. 

That’s when she was pulled into the darkness. She felt more vibrations. What was it? Where was the jet taking her? Was it the jet? Please, stay with us, she heard someone’s voice. 

I’m right here. 

There was a big white room where she was lying on a cold metal table. Her body was tied to it. All she could see were the IVs coming out of her body. So far she counted six. Four on her arms, one on her neck and another one on her right leg. Her mouth was closed shut with a mask. She wanted to cry but deep down she knew it was to no avail. They would punish her and make her suffer more. Just be a good girl and do as we say. 

They made everyone suffer. It didn’t matter that some of the children were maybe three years old. Nothing mattered, only the next mission, the next experiment. 

Will life get better? 

Again, darkness. This time, she was swimming in it for a long time. It seemed that there was nothing more to show. Or maybe this was the end - darkness, nothingness. There was no heaven or hell, only darkness. 

Y/N, I’m right here with you. Please wake up. That voice was familiar. It brought a warm feeling to her chest. She tried to swim to it, as fast as it let her. Wake up for me. Was it Bucky? 

Y/N opened her eyes and the first thing she saw was a white light. It hurt her eyes and she blinked a few times. Her ears registered the sound of beeping machines. It was a steady beep, the one that monitored someone's heart. Slowly, turning her head from side to side, she noticed an unknown woman standing by her bed, checking up on her. 

“What happened?” Y/N whispered. Her throat was dry and her voice was raspy. 

The nurse gasped and quickly found a device that called any doctor. “You are awake,” she seemed surprised. “Oh my god,” she seemed surprised. 

“What?” 

The door to the hospital room opened and a doctor with another nurse came in. He was immediately standing next to Y/N, checking her eyes with a tiny light. “Everything seems fine so far,” said the doctor. His voice was echo-y. He showed his index fingers to her. “Squeeze them as tightly as possible.” 

Very slowly, Y/N wrapped her hands around his fingers, trying to squeeze them with all her strength. It wasn’t much but it was enough. The doctor seemed satisfied.

“That’s great,” he said. “We were waiting for you to wake up, Miss Y/L/N.”

“How long was I out?” she asked, her voice barely a whisper. 

“Over three weeks,” he replied. “You had a ruptured spleen that we had to take out. There’s been some internal bleeding that we stopped. You also had a concussion which led you into a coma for a few weeks,” he explained. “We stitched some of your wounds, you also have bruised ribs. Surprisingly, nothing was broken.” 

She remained silent, thinking about what happened. “Where am I?” 

The doctor frowned. “Do you remember anything?” 

“Yes,” she sighed, tired from all those questions. “I was supposed to die. Am I back in the US or am I still in Canada?” 

“You are back in the States,” he said, relieved that she knew what was going on around her. “Currently, you are still in New York, Langone Hospital.” 

“Has,” she dryly gulped. She wanted water. “Has anyone been here?” 

“You had several visitors. The last one we sent home because the visiting hours had ended. But, now, we need to inform Director Fury about your current state. I’ll let the nurses bring you water and we will give you another IV with antibiotics.” 

“IV?” she panicked. Her eyes widened when he said that. Immediately, she looked at her arm, scanning the needle. Her heart started to beat fast. She needed to overcome her fear. Quickly, she shut her eyes, trying to rest before any potential visitors. 

The doctor saw it. “Do not worry. We are giving you antibiotics, nothing else,” he reassured her. “We won’t hurt you, Miss Y/L/N. I need you to stay calm and we will call Director Fury as soon as possible.” 

With a simple nod, she released a loud exhale. No one knew about her fear of needles. They never witnessed her getting one and she avoided any at all costs. The less they knew, the better, right? 

She fell asleep for another hour when she heard the door open. She stirred and gently opened her eyes, looking directly at Nick Fury. “I’m glad you are alive,” he said. 

Y/N huffed. “I should have listened, I guess,” she whispered. 

“Yes, you should,” he nodded and pulled a chair closer to her bed. “Do you remember it?” 

“I remember it all,” she said. “I had to do it, sir. It needed to stop them. Some of the children were already sold,” he cleared her throat. Fury brought a cup of water with a straw to her lips and helped her drink from it. He didn’t let her take much. “Thank you.” 

“Not bringing any backup was stupid, Y/N.” 

“I know. I know. Will I,” she stopped, not daring to finish the sentence. 

He sighed. “There won’t be any repercussions,” he answered. “We were dealing with a global threat,” he explained. “The Youth Centre was as bad as Hydra. Unfortunately, they used children, experimented on them and killed them. We gathered a lot of information during these past few weeks and have enough evidence that even though the children died, it was for the better.”

“I am so sorry,” Y/N started to cry softly. “I looked. I couldn’t find anyone once I killed a lot of guards. They were hidden somewhere.” 

“Here is the good thing,” he stopped her. “Once we cleared the debris, we managed to uncover an underground place where there were around fifty children hidden in a cellar.” When he said that her eyes widened. “You didn’t kill all those children. You saved them. These children were not enhanced yet. They were abused a lot. Fortunately, no serum was given to them.”

“They are fine?” 

“With a lot of therapy, they will be fine,” he nodded. 

Y/N wanted to say something. When she noticed how he was staring at her, she forgot what she had on her mind. “What?” 

“How did you do it?” he had to ask. “How did you destroy the building?” 

She opened her mouth. How did she do it? It never happened before. She knew what her abilities were. This thing came out of nowhere. She thought back to the moment it happened. There was this feeling inside her that intensified and she released it out. “I have no idea,” she said honestly. “I wish I knew.” 

Fury simply patted her shoulder and stood up. “We will discuss it once you are out of here. The doctor said that if your condition remains the same until tomorrow, they will transport you into the HQ to the hospital wing.” 

That’s when she remembered the rest of the team. “Are- Are they angry at me?” she lowered her gaze. 

“Confused,” he said. “They don’t understand why you did it. Thanks to Romanoff and Barnes, they slowly figured things out.”

Bucky. Her heart dropped. She knew he would hate her the most. “How did I get here?” 

“Because they figured out where you went, and I left one of the tracking devices online, they came to help. However, before they were able to do anything, the building was destroyed and they thought you died,” Fury explained. “Relax. Nothing is as bad as it seems.” 

“So you broke the promise,” she said. 

“No,” he shrugged, keeping his voice on a funnier tone. “I didn’t say a word. I simply left some clues.” 

He was about to leave the room when she stopped him. “What am I supposed to do now?” she asked. 

“Rest,” he turned to her one more time. “And talk to the team. I believe they would like to see you. The last person that was here was Barnes. He looked terrible. No wonder. That man spent most of his days here. ”

She couldn’t believe it. Did Bucky keep visiting her while she was in a coma? Why would he do that? 

Y/N was left alone. Another round of sleep came to her. She didn’t have much energy and another cat nap would only do her good. This time, her mind was not invaded by any bad dreams. Maybe it was the drugs? 

She was awakened by something soft and warm pressed against the back of her hand. When she opened her eyes, she found Bucky pressing his lips to her hand, whispering something. He was sad and tired. Y/N squeezed his hand and he quickly looked up at her. 

“Y/N,” he whispered her name. “You are awake.”

“Hi,” she greeted him. “I woke up today,” she whispered. “It was time.” 

“We thought we lost you,” his voice broke. “I thought I lost you,” and he pressed another kiss to her hand. “How are you feeling?” 

“Tired. Weak. A bit confused,” she admitted. “If all goes well, I’ll be relocated to the HQ tomorrow.  Uh, can you bring me water, please?” Bucky was quick to take the glass with a straw and brought it closer to her lips. When she started to drink it, their eyes locked.  “Thank you,” she said when she finished. 

He opened his mouth, ready to tell her something. However, Natasha, Steve and Sam entered the room before he could make a sound. The redhead was first by her side, carefully hugging her. Steve and Sam stood behind Bucky, smiling. 

“You scared the shit out of us,” said Natasha when she pulled out of the hug. 

“I’m sorry,” said Y/N. 

“Why didn’t you ask us to come with you?” Nat asked. “You know we would have helped you.” 

Y/N’s eyes slowly moved to Bucky who kept looking at her. She wished they could be alone. It was hard to come up with a relevant answer and, in all honestly, she’d rather sit in silence with him. She thought he’d hate her. So far, it has nothing to do with hate. 

Sam started to talk about… something. Y/N wasn’t listening. It was something about a game of darts. Steve told her how the rest of the team thought highly of her and that Wanda and Vision would be back in two days. 

Her eyes were slowly closing while she kept listening to their stories. No one wanted to mention the mission. They kept her mind occupied with something else.

A nurse came to the room with a new IV and a bag. “It’s time to let her rest,” she informed them. “I suggest you come tomorrow.”

Natasha gently hugged her and the rest of them said their goodbyes. Bucky was the last one to leave. He noticed how Y/N was panicking when the nurse was about to take out her IV. Y/N turned her head, trying to breathe deeply. That’s when she found out he was still there. Tears welled up in her eyes. 

He took a few big steps and was immediately by her side. “Hey, it’s okay,” he tried to calm her. “I’m right here, Y/N. Keep looking at me.” 

She only nodded and pursed her lips only to keep her sobs hidden. Bucky found her free hand and took it into his, holding it tightly. He didn’t question it.

“I’m sorry, but you should-”

“I’m staying,” said Bucky to the nurse harshly, not giving her a single look. The woman kept her mouth shut and took out the needle of Y/N’s arm. 

“It’s going to be a minute, alright? Focus on me,” he kept talking to Y/N. “You are doing so well.” 

Bucky knew not to ask, not now. He stayed there until the nurse was done and Y/N had a new IV ready. “All done,” said the nurse. 

“It’s all done,” Bucky repeated for her. She snuggled her head into his chest and silently cried. She hated every moment of it. Nothing scared her more than IVs. She hated them with her whole being. 

He kept stroking her slightly greasy hair, trying to calm her down. Five minutes later, he realised that she had fallen asleep while being snuggled to him. Bucky kissed the top of her head and gently pushed her away. He fixed her body on the bed and stroked her cheek. Once again, he remained sitting next to the bed. This time, his body was relaxed because he knew she was conscious and well. 

Y/N was confused when she woke up the next day and she was alone in the room. She knew Bucky was the last one with her, helping her get through her fear of IVs. Now, no one was present. She sighed sadly. 

For the next few hours, she kept taking naps and watching TV that was installed in the room. That was until it was time to transfer her to the HQ as promised. She couldn’t be more thrilled. 

Everything went smoothly. They helped her take a shower after weeks and prepared her for transfer. Before she knew it, they wheeled her into the medical wing of the compound. The first thing she noticed was the bouquet of red roses standing next to her bed. There was her phone and a book she didn’t finish. The bed was way more comfortable than the one in the regular hospital. And, as if it wasn’t enough, there were snacks in the drawer next to the bed. 

“Do you like it?” said a voice from the door to her room. 

When she turned her head and saw Bucky standing at the door, smiling. Instantly, there was a smile on her face. “You did this?” 

He walked to her. “Yes. I wanted you to feel good, homely.” 

“That is so sweet,” she said and yawned. It was time to lie down and gain more energy. She stretched her arm to him and signed him to take it. “I love roses.”

Bucky couldn’t do it faster. They held hands for a good minute, staring at each other silently. 

This was his moment. He couldn’t wait any longer. He leaned to her and pressed his lips to her. The first good sign was, she didn’t pull away. The kiss was sweet, just as he imagined it would be, if not better. He could stay like this forever.

Bucky smelled like a menthol shower gel. She could breathe his scent until her very last day. How glad she was they made her take a shower before transfer. 

When he pulled away, he kept his forehead pressed against her. “I love you,” he whispered, finally admitting his feelings. “I’ve loved you for some time now.” 

Y/N smiled. “I love you too, Buck.” She couldn’t be any happier. “I was worried you’d hate me.”

He looked into her eyes. “I could never do that. I was upset that you didn’t want me there. I thought my life ended when they found you without any sign of life.” His gorgeous blue eyes filled with tears. “I really thought I lost you.”

She put both hands on his cheeks. “I’m so sorry.”

He brushed a strand of hair behind her ear. “Don’t be. You are alive, here with us, with me. That’s all that matters.” 

She kissed him again, this time deepening the kiss. Bucky’s metal hand travelled to her neck and pulled her to him as much as it was possible. The cold made her gasp and that was the moment he used and explored her mouth with his tongue. 

Someone cleared their throat. Slowly, they both turned their head to the sound and disconnected their lips. Steve and Sam were standing at the door, smiling like school girls. 

“Sorry to interrupt, love birds,” said Sam, giggling. 

“You are ruining the moment,” Bucky snarled at him. “Can you come later?” 

“You know what?” Y/N interrupted, patting Bucky’s hand. “Stay. Please. I need to talk to you. Could you also call the rest of the team? I- I need to tell you everything. Please.” 

“Okay,” Bucky nodded and before he left, he kissed the top of her hair. 

Steve and Sam were still grinning at her. They sat down on a small sofa that was next to the bed. “So, you two, huh?” said Sam, winking at her. 

“Sam,” Steve nudged his shoulder. “How are you feeling?” he turned his head to Y/N, genuinely concerned. 

“I’m getting better by the minute,” she admitted with a smile. “Still tired though. The doctor said I need to rest here for another few days. Afterwards, I can leave this place and rest back home - or in my room.” 

“Or in Bucky’s arms,” Sam teased. Steve smacked his shoulder.

“And no active missions until we are sure you are healthy and strong. We can use you from here,” said Steve. 

“Yes, Captain,” she winked at him. “And I am really sorry for what happened.”

Natasha was the first to run into the room. Before Y/N knew it, the woman was hugging her again and taking a seat next to her. “I’m glad you are here with us,” she said with a smile. “The rest of the team will be here any minute. You okay?” 

“Yeah,” Y/N nodded with a smile. She fidgeted a little. “Just nervous.” 

“Why are you nervous?” she asked. “You don’t have to be. We’ve been through a lot together. It’s going to be fine.” 

Clint, Tony and Bruce entered the room. They greeted Y/N with gentle hugs. While they were chatting, Wanda and Vision unexpectedly walked into the room. Y/N’s eyes almost popped out. “Holy shit,” she gasped. 

Wanda was quick enough to come to her and pulled her into a tight loving embrace. “Don’t ever scare me like that,” was the first thing the woman whispered into her ear. 

“I’m sorry.” Wanda and Y/N had a special bond. There was something a little more special than she had with Natasha. But all three women were very close. 

With a kiss on her forehead, she sat by her other side which was not occupied by anyone. Both friends were by her side. And yet she wished Bucky was the one sitting with her. He was the last one to return. His eyes noticed that he wouldn’t be able to sit next to the woman he loved. 

Without stalling, Y/N started to talk about her past - how her childhood was taken away from her. 

“I remember playing outside. My mother was there with me. It was a beautiful warm day. I don’t remember the city I was born in or her name. What I do remember is the sound of her painful cry. It happened so quickly. The next thing I knew, I was in a place that became my new home.” 

Everyone listened and didn’t ask questions or intervene. 

“There’s been always at least 20 to 40 children - all ages. We were raised there. They taught us everything that they considered important as well as basic skills such as reading, writing and math. I guess it was similar to Red Room,” she looked at Natasha. “They started to experiment on us very early, as well as they started to kill us. There was this older girl, about seventeen and she was on her way to becoming enhanced. Unfortunately, the last experiment changed her personality and she turned into a psychopath. Because of that, they killed her and everyone who was undergoing the same treatments as her. Of course, they did it in front of us.

“The first time it happened, I vomited as well as other kids. They punished us and we stayed without food for a week. The only thing we had was water. They kept us between four cold walls. One time,” she put a grimace on her face, “one of the soldiers tried to drown me because I refused to pleasure him. I was eleven.” 

Y/N noticed how Wanda’s eyes closed. She tried to remain stoic. When her eyes scanned each person, no one could look at her, even Bucky’s eyes were on the floor. 

“It happened at least once a week,” she continued. “Unfortunately, when they break you, they’ll get what they want. And they’ll find a way to do it again and again.” Her voice started to shake. “Then comes a turn and once the time is right, you make them suffer.”

She thought about that particular moment and told them about it. She was sixteen when the experiment was successful and she gained abilities. The guards, who loved to play with her, were met with her rage. She killed them all. 

“Thus, my plan to escape started a few days after that. I managed to leave the place that tortured me for years. A place where even though I gained something powerful, broke me in many ways. They took me away from my mother and destroyed my childhood and teenage years.”

This time, a tear escaped her eye and gently caressed her cheek. “I never thought things would get better. I was hiding around the States and in Europe. I became a mercenary only to have some money. Now, here we are… After all that death and torture, I am still alive. That’s why I wanted to, no, needed to do this alone. I needed to finish this and kill them because they were a threat to everyone. I didn’t want to risk your lives for my pain, my past.” 

The team was silent. No one knew what to say. What could a person say after everything they’ve heard?

“Don’t look at me like that,” Y/N shook her head. “You’ve all had traumatic pasts.” 

Natasha was the one who said it out loud. “No one was raped when they were a child.” 

“Well, there are other things that did not happen to me, but did happen to you,” said Y/N. “We live in a fucked up world. Now we have the ability to make it better.” 

. . .

Bucky had his normal hand on the steering wheel while his metal hand held Y/N’s. He proposed a trip - a few days off, without the team somewhere outside of New York. Just the two of them, enjoying their time together. It was nice of him to take her out. 

He brought her hand to his lips and kissed it. “Where are you taking me?” she asked, giggling. “Come on, Buck, just give me a hint.” 

“We’ll be there in a minute. Please, wait and you’ll see,” he said with a smile. 

At first, they flew to Colorado and spent a nice day walking around Denver and enjoying the food and entertainment. Today, he took her for a ride. They were slowly driving through a peaceful neighbourhood. There was nothing special about it - houses, families walking around and enjoying the day.

Y/N took a deep breath through her nose. She became nervous. “Did you buy us a house?” she had to ask. 

That’s when he parked the car and looked at her. “No,” he shook his head. “I know I should have asked you about this, but after everything, I figured this would be something you’d want to do,” he started. “I’ve been searching for several days until I found what I wanted and that’s why I brought you here.” 

She frowned at him, not liking how cryptic he was. Bucky quickly kissed her lips and then got out of the car. Because he was a gentleman, he went to Y/N’s door and opened it for her. “I’m nervous,” she said when she stepped out. 

He grabbed her hand, squeezing it reassuringly. He slowly took her to one of the houses. It was of smaller size, but it was a nice place to live. Once they were at the front door, he loudly knocked on them. “I figured that maybe you’d want to…”

The door opened. A woman in her mid-fifties was standing there, dressed in casual comfortable clothes. From her face, she seemed shocked. “Oh my god,” she whispered. 

Bucky didn’t need to say a word. Y/N figured it all out.  She could feel it inside her soul that she knew this person. “Mum?”

“It’s you,” the woman started to sob. “You are alive.” She pulled Y/N into a tight embrace, crying into her shoulder. “Oh my god, my sweet angel, you are alive.” When she pulled away, she grabbed Y/N’s face into her hands, scanning every detail to memorize it. “Your wonderful friend came to me a week ago, saying that he knows you. He told me, that my beautiful baby is alive.” 

Y/N looked at Bucky, her eyes filled with tears. “Yeah, he’s the best thing that ever happened to me.” 

#Bucky Barnes x reader #Bucky Barnes x female reader #Bucky Barnes x you #Bucky Barnes Y/N #Avenger Bucky Barnes x reader #Bucky Barnes fanfiction #Marvel fanfiction #James Barnes x reader #Bucky Barnes

[writingsbychlo]

What would you do if you were Azs mate and found out he gave you Elains necklace?

“That’s such a pretty necklace, where did you get it?” Feyre mused, her brows raising as she peered over the rim of her wine glass at you. It went a little quite in the room, your cheeks heating as the High Lady’s fingers brushed your skin where the small pendant sat.

Despite it having been almost two years since you’d met her know, far more since you’d found your mate in her family, it still surprised you sometimes to find yourself holding her attention.

“It is pretty!” Mor fawned, coming a little closer to admire it. “I must know the jeweller, I could spend a fortune on pieces like this!”

“You’ll have to ask Azriel, he gave it to me years ago.” You smiled at the memory, you’d barely been on three dates with him, before the bond had even clicked, and he’d gifted it to you to match your dress before taking you to dinner. You’d almost forgotten about it, hidden at the bottom of your jewellery box. Glancing around the room, pride shone within you toward your mate as everyone admired it. Everyone but one. Elain. A frown sat in her lips, brows pulled taut, and she seemed so deeply conflicted that a war was playing out on those delicate features. “Elain? Are you okay?”

“Yes.” She whispered, head snapping up, but her lips pressed together more tightly than usual, a frown tugging at the corners.

“Are you sure?”

“Yes.” She had less conviction this time, her voice weaker, and a ripple crossed over her features like she was cursing herself for it. The weight of everyone’s stare on her, now, seemed to make her snap. “It’s just— Azriel gave me that necklace, nearly half a decade ago.”

“He gave you one too?” You’d known about their dalliance, it had been a joke long ago that both you and Lucien had rolled your eyes good-naturedly at, but now it was confusing.

“No… he gave me that one.” She sighed, finally meeting your gaze, looking somewhere between scared and sorrowful. “He gave it to me on Solstice evening, and I gave it back to him the next day.”

You fingered the charm around your neck, lump swelling in your throat. “Do you… want it back?”

“Back? Gods, no, it’s yours! I didn’t—” Her eyes wondered further, that fear leaking into her voice now as she moved across the room to clasp your hands. “I don’t want that! It’s just, it reminded me of why I gave it up. I saw you. When he gave me that necklace it felt stolen. When I wore it I felt wrong, and when I looked at myself in the mirror, I saw your face. I saw you in my visions before I ever met you, and I knew I wasn’t the one for Azriel! It’s just… I’m so happy with Lucien now, I couldn’t be any happier, but thinking back on old heartbreaks hurts. It killed me to give him up before I knew Lucien was who would make me happy, when I thought that would be Az. Looking at the necklace just makes me sad, and I never imagined he’d give it to you. Never. I thought he’d get rid of it.”

You clutched her hands tightly, willing her to see your empathy and not your anger, an emotion that wasn’t aimed at her. “I’m sorry, Elain. I didn’t realise it would hurt you, I had no idea.”

Unclasping it from your neck, you held it out to Mor without another glance.

“It’s all yours, Mor. Use it to find the jeweller, and then trade it’s value for something pretty. Get new necklaces, matching ones for Elain and I. And a set of earrings for yourself, it should fetch a fine price, even years later.”

Nesta chuckled into her drink, and Feyre only laughed at the glee on Mor’s face as she securely tucked it inside her bra for safekeeping.

“You’re not mad?” Elain pressed, and you shook your head, smiling.

“Not at you.”

She only have a relived sigh, parting after a second to return to her seat, and allow the rest of girls night to run smoothly. Your fingers brushed your bare neck once, your eyes rolling, before letting it go for now, to enjoy your friends’ company.

And you did.

The night went on for hours more, until Cassian arrived to collect Nesta, slinging her over his shoulder and jumping violently when she smacked his ass with a cheer.

Rhys came next, helping a wobbling Feyre to her feet and bidding you all goodnight with a charming grin.

It was Mor who had winnowed you home, to outside the townhouse you shared with your mate, her forehead pressed to your own with a wicked smirk as she made you promise to give him hell.

Stumbling into the house, still a little tipsy, you made your way towards your bedroom, a shadow meeting you part way and wrapping eagerly around your wrist, tugging you excitedly to the bedroom.

When you arrived, Az was sitting in bed, surrounded by pillows, and marking his page as he put his book down. “Hello, my love. Did you have fun?”

“Hello, my mate.” His brows rose a little, and you kicked your heels off half-heartedly, leaving them by the door as you stepped in further. “I had a wonderful time.”

“I’m glad to hear it.” He grinned, patting the space beside him in bed. “I missed you, though.”

“I missed you too.” Across to your messy dresser you walked on shaky steps, opening the lid of your large jewellery box and beginning to take off the earrings you still wore. Another gift from Azriel. In fact, the box was teeming with them, and you hummed. “Az, come look at this.”

He was in bed one moment, and by your side the next, peering through shadows over your shoulder. “Your jewellery box?”

“Yes.”

“What about it?” He mumbled, and you shrugged, feeling him press a kiss to your shoulder, his hands ghosting your waist, before you were wandering away.

“Keep looking.”

He chuckled, but obliged, and you took the time to step into your pyjamas as he did. “What is it that I’m looking for?”

“Any other regifted piece of jewellery from past lovers that you want to remove before I get caught short again.”

Your hands fell to your hips as his head snapped up. Tan skin drained of colour, all playfulness melting away from him. His gaze moved, to your bare neck, to the box in search, before back to your gaze. “Your necklace—”

“Elain’s necklace.” You muttered, and his throat bobbed, shadows swirling low to the ground like a puppy with its tail between its legs. “You’re such an asshole!”

“I’m sorry! You— I didn’t— I’m sorry!” His hands flexed by his sides, and you scoffed, rolling your eyes. He sent a desperate tug down the bond, floods of love and sorrow and shame, and you turned back to look at him.

“Oh, relax, I’m not that mad.” His shoulders sagged only a little, but he didn’t stop the onslaught of love he sent to you across that tether. There was a question nagging, though, through the slight hurt and embarrassment, and your voice was weak as you asked; “Is there any more in there, though?”

“No, baby. Gods, no.” That pain was reflected on his own eyes now, and you shrugged helplessly, hugging your arms to your chest.

“I liked that necklace. You’re such a jerk.”

“I know.” He whispered, scratching the back of his neck. “I’ll buy you a new one.”

“I don’t want a new one! I just wish you’d… I don’t know, not let me leave the house in it! Or just gotten me a new necklace that day! I loved that memory, nobody had ever bought me jewellery before.” Azriel bought you plenty of gifts now, from every court and continent he travelled to, it was how that one had become so lost to time in the first place, but that didn’t make it hurt any less.

“Can you forgive me?”

“Of course I forgive you, Az! You might be a dumbass but you’re mine and I love you. Of course, I forgive you.” He relaxed fully then, stalking across the room toward you with his arms out, ready to embrace.

Before he could reach you, you slammed a pillow into his chest, blocking his body from your own.

“You’re still sleeping on the couch tonight, though.”

[convolutedblasphemy]

Since it's Aromantic Spectrum Awareness Week I want to thank the aro community for everything they taught me and everything they did for me even before I started to identify as frayromantic. I had so much amatonormativity to unlearn before I could arrive at this point, so this is my first aro week, but identifying as ace for years, I inevitably met a lot of aros online and saw a lot of aro positivity posts.

Truth be told, from age 14 - 19 I suffered a period of debilitating, very traumatizing emotional abuse that killed my entire social life and my abuser would make sure i couldn't form these bonds when i wanted to. As soon as I got out of that -> covid lockdown. When the pandemic restrictions were lifted I've spent 7 years at that point pretty much socially isolated aside from online contacts. And in the past 3 years I've been busy healing, studying, adulting and picking up the pieces.

It's been almost a decade now in which I didn't have a stable social life (aside from my relatives) and everyone else has always looked at me with this... weird pity for it. I had a lot of anxiety due to being ace as well; because i didn't feel like i could find that close committed relationship i wanted without engaging in sexual activity. People imagined the past decade in my life as me sitting on the couch all day wallowing in self-pity and loneliness, which honestly does such a disservice to all the places I visited, the ways in which i've grown, the art i made and the changes i made. People treated me like I had wasted 10 years of my life and constantly put pressure on me to be more social, to put myself into situations i wasn't comfortable with or to at least get a partner so I won't have to die alone. Dying alone was this terrible horror concept that was pushed onto me as my inevitable fate if i didn't get my shit together. And for the longest time I believed that. I hardly struggled with loneliness, I struggled with this internalized idea that I had failed at life - that i am a failure - if i don't have this many irl friends or a partner.

The aro community was THE FIRST SPACE that helped me dismantle this perspective of seeing the relationships in my life as an extension of myself. The first space that taught me that relationships of any kind aren't these things i have to collect to prove I've led a successful life. The first community that turned around and said "You are whole as you are. You are enough. And you don't need anyone else to complete you." And hearing that, to me, was such a wake-up call; it was such a novelty-realization in contrast to all the bullshit i had internalized, that I cried because damn, this was what I needed to hear.

Suddenly the value of my life wasn't defined by the kind of relationships and how many relationships I filled it with. Suddenly I realized that the committed relationship I wanted didn't have to be romantic (or sexual for that matter); hell, I didn't even want it to be. Suddenly I realized the biggest obstacle to enjoying life for me was all the people who told me i wasn't enjoying my life properly. The aro community taught me so much about love, self-worth and independence. And I haven't been active here for long but everyone has been so kind.

The aro community gave me all the hope and positivity that i needed to focus on myself and my life. I still want to form meaningful irl friendships and get a QPR in the future but the pressure is gone to get all of that asap or else my time on this earth is wasted. I have faith that these things will come when I'm ready and when it's the right time and even if they don't, it's not going to be the end of the world. My value as a person and the success of my life is not defined by the people in it and it never will be. Nor will yours. Nor will anyone's.

Some of y'all might be out here asking yourselves "I'm not aro, what does the aromantic community concern me?" So much. Amatonormativity and relationship hierarchy go so much deeper than just the assumption that everyone desires romantic love. The aromantic community can teach us so much and help us unlearn so many things that are ingrained into our system and into our way of thinking. We should be unlearning those things because doing so will take pressure away from all of us, no matter how we identify. The aromantic community should concern you because they're people with their own hopes and dreams who deserve to find happiness in whatever way feels right for them without the world constantly telling them they're doing it wrong.

The aromantic community has made me a more understanding, hopeful, positive and independent person and I can't thank them enough for that. Happy Aromantic Spectrum Awareness Week.

🧡💛🤍🩵💙

#aromantic #aroace #aromantic spectrum #aro week #frayromantic #aromantism #aro #aromantic community

[lykaonimagines]

My One Constant - Supreme!Strange x Reader

I just needed to write some fluff for the man, I killed him last time I wrote him, he deserves this 😶

Paring: Supreme!Strange x F!Reader (childhood best friend)

Word Count: 6,569 (me telling myself I’ll just write a short fluff fic for him 🙃)

Description: Stephen’s known Y/N almost his entire life. The one person from his past he still has. He’s fought off his feelings for her for decades in fear of losing the friendship, but with her now working alongside him for the Illuminati, his feelings are getting harder and harder to hide.

A few slightly altered lyrics from “Beautiful Boy (Darling Boy)” by John Lennon.

Other Things: Best friends to lovers. Childhood friends. Fluff. Two exceedingly smart idiots in love. They’re just silly and fun. 

Warnings: Some swearing. Small bit of typical canon violence.

Masterlist

(Gif taken from Google, but credit on it. I didn’t want to use the one scene from MoM, so any clean shaven Stephen is going to be fair game for Supreme for me :P)

“Is it really wise to bring in an unknown scientist to help with something so delicate?” Reed Richards asks the rest of the Illuminati panel. “I’d feel far better if you gave us some information so I can run a proper check on this woman, Strange. At least her name and her qualifications.”

“I agree,” Peggy Carter comments, shifting her shield to sit against her seat. “A complete unknown seems like an unnecessary risk.”  

“Just the fate of the Multiverse,” Maria Rambeau adds in.

“I’ve asked that you all just trust me on this,” Doctor Strange responds, checking the phone in his lap for nearly the hundredth time in the last five minutes. His foot taps impatiently on the tile.

“What has you so worked up?” Mordo asks from beside his seat.

“Nothing,” his foot taps faster and his eyes dart to his phone as the screen lights up.

A quick smile crosses his lips as he reads the message, pulling himself from his seat and heading toward the door.

“Where are you going? Isn’t that woman supposed to be here soon?” Richards calls out to him.

Pausing momentarily to look back over his shoulder, “She’s arrived, I’m going to collect her.”

“This woman needs to be greeted at the door by the Sorcerer Supreme?” Mordo asks incredulously.

“Yes, she does,” he shouts over his shoulder, letting the door slam behind him as he speed walks toward the entrance. A portal would have been far quicker and more practical, but he wanted to do this right. Plus the extra time to walk the distance to the entrance was needed to calm his racing heart.

Turning the last corner, his eyes immediately zero in on her. Standing between two bots just inside the doorway. He feels his pace quickening, and her eyes meet his, a smile spreading across her face.

Practically breaking into a sprint, he crosses the last of the distance, putting his arms out as she jumps into them eagerly, “Stephen!”

Hugging her tightly to his chest, he spins her around a couple times, her laugh reminding him why it is, and has always been, his favorite sound.

Setting her back to her feet, he suddenly becomes hyperaware of the eyes on them. Glancing over he sees several scientists from the nearby lab staring at them, “If you have time to stand around gawking, then I expect result reports tonight!” He snaps in annoyance and embarrassment, the tips of his ears reddening.

They quickly scatter to their various work stations as Y/N chuckles at his embarrassment. Quickly opening a portal to his office, he slips his hand in hers and tugs her through it, closing it behind them.

“That’s still always impressive,” she muses, looking at the place the portal once was.

“Suppose it is,” he says softly, reaching his free hand up to brush his fingers across her cheek. “I’ve missed you.”

“I’ve missed you too,” she smiles back at him, laying her hand over his on her cheek. “Hopefully I’ll be able to be of use.”

“You’re brilliant, you will be. And if I’m being honest, just you being here is already useful to me,” he grins and leans back against his desk. “Been far too long.”

“You just stress yourself out too much Stephen. You’re going to be regretting those words when I’m making you actually go to bed and eat like a functioning human being.”

“And you’ll have to forgive me probably fighting that on a regular basis.”

“You’ve always been a stubborn brat Stephen, I’m used to it.”

“You would know,” he chuckles, reaching back to open a drawer on his desk and pulling out a photo frame that he promptly hands over to her.

She smiles down at the photo, running her fingers wistfully over the three children pictured in it. The two of them not older than ten years, and a younger girl with the same blue eyes as her brother. “I still miss her.”

“Me too,” he admits, clearing his throat abruptly. “You’re all I have left Y/N. From back then.”

“And you keep me shoved in a drawer,” she teases, setting the frame down to wrap her arms around him.

“I don’t like people asking questions…” he admits slowly, wrapping his own arms around her frame. “People try to dig. I don’t like it.”

“You can tell people your past you know, you don’t have to hide everything,” her chin rests against the ornate embellishments on his robe.

“I don’t want pity,” he mutters softly.

“Do you think I pity you?”

“Of course not,” his brows furrow as he looks at her. “You… you’ve always been there. You knew me back then. You knew all of them. You loved them too. You’ve known everything all along. There’s no need to open up and tell you, you just know.”

“I think you do a pretty good job of opening up and telling me things, I’ve not been here this entire time to see everything in person, but I still know about it,” one of her hands drops to grab his and she runs her thumb over one of the scars there.

“You’re just… different,” he insists, the familiar stubborn expression settling on his face.

“I just worry,” she says with a shrug. “About you not letting people in enough. I want you to be happy.”

“I do have other friends,” he assures her, squeezing her hand. “And I’ve got you for the rest, I only need you.”

“You only need me hm?” She asks playfully, a smirk on her lips.

His heart rate immediately spikes, praying she can’t tell as he sticks his jaw out obstinately, “Well like I said you’re the one that’s been there. You’ve known me since we were children, always around at my house and following me around. Then you even followed me to New York for university, lived in the same apartment as me, and have continued to put up with all of my shit I tell you about for the last however many years. It would just be… inconvenient at this point to find someone else.”

“Oh so now I’m the convenient friend?” She teases, letting go of his hand and dropping her arm from his waist. “If that’s the cause…”

Quickly tightening his hold on her, he pulls Y/N back to his chest and growls in annoyance, “You know you’re important to me dammit.”

“I know, I know,” she grins and reaches up stroke his cheek. “And you’re important to me. I wouldn’t be here if you weren’t.”

“Prospect of a high paying job for an important powerful organization isn’t enough incentive?”

“As nice as all that is, I uprooted my life to move here for you, not because I want to be involved with the rich and powerful.”

“Hm, you could have just asked to see me more, not come all the way here?” He asks with his own grin.

“Hey you’re the one that said you need me Stephen Strange, too late to take that back.”

“Mhm,” he buries his face against her hair. “Truthfully, I’m so happy you’re here. Having you nearby cuts my stress by an indescribable amount. I also think you’re exactly who we need for this position. I’m glad you took me up on the offer.”

“Me too,” she says softly, clutching at his robes. “Im looking forward to the work, and seeing you everyday.”

Sighing heavily, he pulls back from her, “I suppose we should get to the assembly room. They’re all waiting for us.”

“So how bad is this job interview going to be?”

“They know nothing about you, I’ve told them to trust me. So they’re probably going to be annoying. But you have this job. I will override them on it if need be, but they won’t,” he responds before opening a portal outside of the assembly room door.

Pulling the door open for her, he ushers her inside before floating to his own seat on the panel.

“Welcome…?” Richards asks as he looks from Y/N to Strange.

“Doctor Y/L/N,” he responds, flicking his wrist and making her resume appear in all their hands. “Throughly qualified as you’ll see.”

“Good to meet you Doctor Y/L/N,” Carter says with a trace of a smile. “You’ve been a hot topic here, one Doctor Strange refused to share any information about. So forgive any prying that’s about to happen.”

“He does that,” she scoffs and nods her head. “Nice to meet you as well Captain Carter.”

“It says here you went to Columbia University… at the same time as Strange. Is that where you two met?” Richards asks as he scans over the paper in his hand. “Doctorate in Physics? Tell me how it’s relevant to this.”

“Richards,” Strange says harshly, fixing his friend with a stern look.

Y/N chuckles lightly and gives the panel a smile, “Longer than that. Yes bachelors, masters, and doctorate in physics. Specific interest in atomic-molecular, high energy nuclear, and overall astrophysics. All things I know you’re well versed in and know the practical application of multiversal and portal travel in general.”

“What’s your experience with any of that?”

“Aiding Stephen, researching debris from said portals and openings and remains of beasts. I worked with Asgardians for a few years researching their magic and the science behind their technology and their bi-frost form of travel. My focus was never engineering but I have taken several courses in my schooling years and worked with Stark Industries for a period of time. The cross-section of physics, engineering, and magic are my primary interest.”

Richards grunts and runs his eyes over the paper again, “So how do you know Strange then? And why has he been hiding someone with apparent perfect qualifications from us?”

Y/N’s eyes drift to Stephen’s raising a brow at him. He makes a face back at her, she smirks and quirks her eyebrow.

“What are you two doing?” Rambeau asks, watching the exchange between them. “Are you telepathic?”

“No,” Charles Xavier answers before she can, a smile on his face. “They’re both just making faces at one another and thinking very loudly.”

Y/N laughs and grins sheepishly, “I was trying to determine if he wants me sharing that kind of information, seeing as he didn’t offer it freely himself.”

“Well what would you say you are to our Sorcerer Supreme then?” Mordo asks.

“His best friend,” she says simply with a shrug as if it’s obvious.

“You stand before a panel of his friends, who he’s never bothered to introduce you to prior to today, and claim to be his best friend?” Mordo questions, glancing down at Stephen. “Do you have something to say about this, my brother?”

Stephen’s mouth presses together tightly before sighing and slumping into his chair, “We’re here now, might as well. She’s telling the truth. We’ve known each other since we were young children. We did also go to college together yes. And I have stayed in contact with her since then. As for why I never introduced her, she had her own things going on. She always would have been a big asset to the Illuminati, but I wasn’t going to take over her life.”

“Doctor Strange, considerate?” Rambeau asks with a smirk.

“It happens on the odd occasion,” Y/N responds with a wink. “He’s also just embarrassed to bring me into this aspect of his life.”

“He’s worried we’re going to tease him for caring about someone,” Xavier adds, earning a glare from Strange sitting beside him.

“So are there any other specific questions you all have?” Y/N asks.

“Do you have any embarrassing childhood stories I can hold over his head?” Richards asks as he sets down the paper in his hands. “You seem good to go, I just want leverage now.”

Laughing and nodding along she smile, “More than you could ever imagine, but I’m loyal to Stephen. I won’t embarrass him like that.”

“So we’re all done now then yes?” Stephen asks as he hurriedly stands, the faintest blush on his cheeks. “Enough interrogation for one day?”

“I’m satisfied, anyone in disagreement on Doctor Y/L/N taking over as lead researcher of lab A?” Richards asks, nodding when no one says anything. “Welcome to the Illuminati Miss.”

-

“You sure it’s alright that I stay here?” Y/N asks as Stephen helps her pass the rest of her belongs through a portal into a room at the Sanctum.

“I’m Sorcerer Supreme and Master of the Sanctum. I say it’s ok, so it’s ok,” he assures her, closing the portal behind them and watching as she flops onto the bed.

“Been a long time since we lived together, been kind of looking forward to it,” she says as she turns on her side to look at him.

“A bit fancier than our last place,” he laughs and sits on the edge of the bed, his cloak flying off and out the door.

“That it is, though broke uni students apartment versus mansion of mystical masters is quite the change,” she says as she grabs his arm. “Show me around? Mainly so I don’t wander into an ancient relic that sends me back in time when I get up to get a drink in the middle of the night.”

“Needy needy,” he teases, standing up from the bed and walking to the door. “Let’s get a move on then.”

“Look at me, turning the Sorcerer Supreme into a tour guide,” she jokes, slipping out the door behind him. “I can’t imagine how much your time costs if you were to monetize it. The amount of crap you have to do. To think I wasted your important time with tire swings and picnics.”

“Expensive to others, free to you,” he remarks, offering her his arm. “Come on. With you I’m just Stephen you know that. No Doctor, no Sorcerer Supreme. Let me feel normal for a few minutes.”

Slipping her arm through his she looks at the nearest relic on the wall, “It’s just crazy to think about sometimes ya know? You’re always still going to be the boy I grew up climbing trees with and counting change in college trying to afford a shit pizza. Now I mean… holy shit.”

“I’m still him.”

“I know you are, and I’m insanely proud of you, hell I was crazy proud of you being the best neurosurgeon. You worked really hard to get there. And then you didn’t let your accident stop you. You pushed on and made a new life,” she gestures at the relic by them. “Now you live in a magic house with things like that. Speaking of which… what is that and why does it look like it came from a medieval torture chamber?”

“Crimson Bands of Cyttorak,” he answers, trying to ignore the heat in his cheeks as he pulls her closer. “I would suggest not touching it, it’ll wrap around you and imprison you.”

“So it is basically medieval torture equipment,” she hums and pulls on his arm to go further down the hall when Mordo comes out of a door in front of them. “Oh, hello Mordo!”

“I don’t believe I properly introduced myself,” he jokes, offering her his hand.

“Stephen’s talked about you plenty, oh and thanks still for getting him into Kamar-Taj in the first place,” she shakes his hand happily. “I’m glad he’s had you in his life.”

Mordo’s eyes glance at Strange for a moment with a smirk before looking back at Y/N, “I wish I could say he’s told me as much about you, however he’s been suspiciously quiet. Though it explains why he’s so possessive over his phone and taking calls for hours.”

“I have come to notice he’s kept me as some dirty little secret,” she laughs glancing over at Stephen. “Making me feel like I’ve been doing something indecent.”

“Of course not, I just… don’t prefer to share all aspects of my personal life,” he states firmly.

“So now that she’s here, you’re comfortable to share her with the rest of us?” Mordo teases, a smirk spreading on his face as Strange frowns. “You seem a lovely lady Ms Y/N, I and the others look forward to getting to know you.”

“Likewise,” she grins and places a hand on his arm. “I’m happy to finally get to meet all these people he talks about.”

“Are we continuing this tour or are you just going to stand around exchanging pleasantries with Mordo all evening?” Stephen all but pouts at their interaction.

“Always so impatient,” she tsks and nods a goodbye to the sorcerer beside her. “Maybe we could sit down and talk later?”

“Absolutely, I’m sure we can figure out a good time.”

“Great, great,” Stephen mutters, tugging on Y/N’s arm to lead her down the hallway.

After circling through the many halls of the Sanctum and going over which relics should absolutely not be touched, the pair comes to a stop in a family room of sorts.

Y/N glances around the room for a moment before pulling Stephen toward the large couch in the room.

Raising an eyebrow he glances down at her, “What exactly are you doing?”

“When did you last sleep?”

“Is that a trick question?”

“Stephen, when did you last sleep?”

“Time is relative.”

Releasing his arm, she turns him around and shoves him down onto the couch with a grunt, pressing on his chest so he finally lays back on it.

“Well that means it’s been awhile since you won’t give me a straight answer. And I’m tired.”

“And?” he questions as she climbs on top of him and grips onto his robes.  

“We’re napping,” she states firmly, burying her face against his neck. “I’ve missed doing this.”

“Ok,” he manages to choke out, trying to settle himself as he wraps his own arms around her to pull her close. One hand makes a quick gesture to change them both into more comfortable clothes.

“Good call,” she mumbles against him.

As he starts to nod off, he feels her fingertips brushing lightly over his face as she sings softly against his ear, “Close your eyes, have no fear. The monster’s gone. He’s on the run, and I’m here. Beautiful, beautiful, beautiful boy.”

His arms tighten slightly around her at her voice, and a smile tugs at his lips before he finally lets sleep overtake him.

-

“Sleep well?” Mordo asks as Stephen enters the kitchen clicking his neck with a groan the following morning.

“No,” he mutters walking to the coffee maker.

“Unfortunate. You two looked awfully cozy when I walked through earlier,” Mordo comments, sipping his own coffee.

Stephen gives him a harsh glare, “Not a word. That couch isn’t comfortable for sleep. Especially for an entire night. Hadn’t intended to sleep that long.”

“Or you’re just getting old.”

“Fuck off.”

“Well good morning to you too Stephen,” Y/N says as she enters with a yawn.

“Not you, him,” he grunts, immediately handing her the mug he just poured. “Your neck ok? That couch is probably hundreds of years old.”

“Mhm,” she responds taking a sip and bumping her hip against his. “I crawled on top of you to avoid the couch. So I’m good.”

“You mean put more weight on me so I sunk further into the damn thing,” he teases and makes his own cup.

“Exactly, you know you love me,” she stretches up to press a kiss to his cheek. “I’m going up to shower and get changed, when are you taking off?”

“I’ll wait for you and portal us over,” he sighs and rolls his eyes. “One day you’re going to have to take a taxi or something though. This won’t be an everyday thing.”

“Or you could teach me magical Sorcerer abilities.”

“Not a chance, now get,” he shoos her off before looking back down at his coffee, trying to ignore the eyes on him.

“Friendship,” Mordo scoffs and takes care of his dishes. “I definitely believe you just love her in a platonic friendship fashion.”

“Once again, kindly fuck off.”

“You could just tell her how you feel, you two are clearly very close.”

“And ruin what we already have? One of the most important things in my life, the only stable thing I’ve ever had across my entire life?” he shakes his head vigorously. “I can be content with the way things are.”

“And then what happens once she decides to take a job elsewhere, or finds a partner here? You’ll be fine rarely seeing her once again, or seeing her with someone else?”

“We… have lived apart before plenty. And she’s dated. We both have had partners.”

“Strange, would you actually be happy with either of those things?”

Staring down at his cup silently, he finally sighs, “No.”

“Then say something. Or ask her on a date. If she really doesn’t want more with you, I doubt she will throw away everything you two already have. It’s obvious to anyone that spends more than a moment with the two of you that she cares about you. I doubt she’s put up with you for decades just to throw it all away in a moment because you asked her on a date.”

“Maybe… I’ll think about it, she just got here,” he responds and makes a quick gesture with his hands to change into his robes. “But for now, there’s work to be done.”

-

“Odd,” Y/N comments, eyes drifting to the clock beside her paperwork.

“What is?” Dr. Robinson, another scientist in the lab asks, leaning over her shoulder to look at the paperwork.

“Oh, no not this,” she says apologetically. “Just, the time. Stephen usually checks in by now if he’s not going to be back.”

She laughs and steps back over to her own work, “You’ve been here nearly half a year, and I’m still not used to hearing him referred to as ‘Stephen.’ Doctor Strange, Strange, Sorcerer Supreme, Leader of the Illuminati, and several unfavorable terms definitely. But Stephen, not so much.”

“It’s still odd to me hearing people address him so formally and seriously, or trip over their feet to bow for him,” she chuckles as she sorts through the papers.

“Well he is a fairly serious man.”

Y/N snorts at the statement and rolls her eyes, “He’s good at focusing in and getting work done. And he wants to be respected, which he thoroughly deserves. But he’s far from serious. He’s rather silly and fun when he’s not in work mode.”

“Yeah, for you. I’ve seen more of him in the last six months than I’ve seen of him the entire three years I’ve been here.”

“He didn’t used to come down to the labs?”

“Rarely while we were here, only if he had questions about the reports or wanted more information. He spent more time here at night after we all left.”

“Hm,” she twists the pen in her fingers. “He’s not been doing that now as far as I know. We have dinner together and hang out, he reads whatever reports he has or spell books, then we both head off to bed.”

“Now he visits here during the day to do whatever he needs to do because he wants to see you,” Robinson responds, giving her a knowing look. “You had to have noticed.”

“Well yeah he comes by to say hi, but he’s working.”

“He does his work, but he keeps circling around wherever you are in the lab. Finding excuses to walk past you, looking up at you while he’s working on something…”

“And…? We are best friends, he’s probably still getting used to me being here.”

“The man went from avoiding having to interact in the labs at all, to being down here whenever he can and looking at you like a lovesick puppy, Y/N,” she thumps a finger against Y/N’s forehead. “You’re a brilliant scientist but take a look of what’s right in front of your face boss.”

“I really doubt that he-” she begins to say before stumbling back as the air sparkles and a portal opens beside her, a blur of blue fabric stumbling through the opening before it quickly closes.

“What the- Stephen?” she asks, stooping down to pull the cloak away from his face. His eyes stare back at her unblinking, blood dripping from several gashes across his face. “Holy shit, Stephen! Robinson get the medical team, now!”

Pulling the cloak from his shoulders, she works to flip him onto his back, finding more gashes on his chest, the fabric shredded in several places. Cursing under her breath she reaches for the scissors in her desk drawer and cuts the remaining fabric away. Pulling her lab coat off she wads it up and presses it firmly against the gashes on his chest.

“Stephen are you here with me?” she asks, bringing one hand down to press to the pulse on his neck, exhaling when she picks it up.

“Barely,” he coughs out after a moment as he stares up at her.

“Just stay with me alright? The medical team will be here in just a minute,” she responds with one hand applying pressure and the other twining in his hair to keep his attention. “What did this? Any poison or magic?”

“Magic,” his eyes flicker open and closed a few times.

“Keep ‘em open Stephen,” she scolds softly. “Keep looking at me, just focus on me.”

“Always… focused on you,” he mumbles, his head lulling back and his eyes drooping.

Gnawing at the inside of her cheek, she cheeks his pulse once again.

Shit. Too slow.

Removing her hand from the jacket to grasp his head, she presses her lips to his. His eyes widen immediately at the contact, and his pulse quickens under her fingers, “Just like that, stay with me Stephen,” she whispers against his lips, his eyes dart to her face.

Finally the lab doors fly open to the medical team who quickly usher her out of the way and get him loaded on their gurney and out the door as she follows behind them.

-

The ringing in his head pulls Stephen from his sleep, his eyes slowly opening to the too bright room in the Illuminati Headquarters’ medical ward.

He looks around the room, his eyes settling on Y/N currently fast asleep in a chair next to his bed, her hand reached out holding his own.

Running his thumb over her knuckles makes her stir, eyes blinking open and a smile on her face as she sees him looking at her, “Finally you wake up!”

“Did I keep you waiting long?” he chuckles, wincing as he shifts in the bed. “What happened?”

“About nine hours,” she answers and reaches over to brush his hair from his face. “You don’t remember? You opened a portal right in front of me, stumbled through, closed it, and collapsed. You were covered in gashes from… something.”

Frowning as the battle with the beast comes back to him he sucks in a breath, “Apologies for that, I wasn’t thinking, portaling there in that state. I didn’t mean to scare you.”

“Scare me? It was a fucking surprise for sure, and I was scared you were going to die. But hell yeah portal to me again if you need help,” she says firmly.

“So what’s the diagnosis?”

“You got a lot of stitches for one. Punctured organs. Variety of other things. They brought in two healers from Kamar-Taj that fixed most of the internal stuff. Medical team stitched you up, but they helped your healing along. I don’t even know exactly what was wrong, they were all running around frantically. You were a bit of a mess Doctor Strange.”

Nodding along, he leans back and shuts his eyes briefly before another memory hits him. His eyes fly open and he slightly turns toward Y/N, staring at her intently, “You kissed me. After I came through the portal.”

“You remember that part huh?” She asks, obviously flustered, her eyes avoiding his own.

“I do. Why?”

She clears her throat and shifts in her seat, “Well. You were fading on me, and I wanted you to stay awake and alert.”

“And a kiss was the medically sound way to do that?” he teases with a smirk. “I know you didn’t go to med school, but I think you know better than that.”

“Well I was just going off what had been mentioned to me… and thought maybe it would work to get your attention back on me.”

“What had been mentioned to you? Someone told you that’s a good way? At this lab?” he frowns in thought. “Either I need to go back through our staff and test some people or someone was teasing you.”

“No not like they told me to do that, just something about you and I thought it might work and I mean it did so…” she rambles and her hand twitches in his.

“What are people saying about me?” His brow furrows.

Taking a deep breath she finally meets his eyes, “There just might have been a few people that have mentioned since I’ve been here… that maybe, perhaps. That you may have feelings other than friendship for me.”

Stephen’s eyes immediately widen, the words hitting him like a splash of cold water. His mouth opens and closes several times as he tries to form a reply.

“I mean… I don’t know if it’s true. But I thought if it was maybe you’d… react to the kiss enough to get your attention back on me?”

“M-makes sense,” he stutters, his voice coming out hoarse as his mind races and body tenses.

“Maybe now isn’t the right time… but we’re here and it’s been brought up. If it’s a no we can forget we talked about this and leave it in this room. Is there any truth to that?”

“And if it’s a yes?” he asks quietly, his eyes darting away from hers and tongue quickly wetting his lips.

Y/N stands from her seat at his words, immediately making him regret it. He knew this would happen. This is why he’d always held it back. Now he’s gone and…

She closes the distance between her and the hospital bed, hands reaching down to gently cradle his head in her hands, “If it’s a yes, Stephen Strange, then I’ll let you know the feelings are mutual.”

His breath catches in his throat, turning his cheek into her palm as he stares up at her longingly, “T-they are?”

Leaning in close to him she stops just centimeters from his lips, “They are.” Her lips press to his gently, and he quickly moves his against them. Her tongue swipes across his lips making them immediately part, a strangled groan coming from his throat.

Slowly breaking the kiss, Y/N leans back as Stephen follows her up, sighing at the loss of contact. His eyes stare back at hers hazily, his hand gripping hers tighter.

Chuckling at his reaction, she leans back in and presses her forehead to his, “Let’s not overdo it right now, your face is barely holding together as is.”

“It’ll last,” he whispers breathlessly. “You’ve no clue how long I’ve wanted to do that.”

“I think I might have some clue,” her thumbs brush carefully over his cheeks. “Though I would be interested to know when exactly it changed for you.”

“It never ‘changed’ for me,” he admits, turning his head to press a kiss to her palm. “It’s always been there. It’s always been you. I never wanted to lose you, so I buried it.”

Pressing several small kisses on the uninjured skin on his face she gives him a gentle smile, “That’s been a lot of years and relationships we’ve been through Stephen. No wonder you hated all my boyfriends.”

“Why do you think they never worked out for me?” he grumbles. “And they weren’t good enough for you, any of them.”

“Only you’re good enough hm?” she teases.

“Well I have a few things going for me that none of them could ever touch,” he retorts with a smirk. “Sorcerer Supreme and leader of the Illuminati bring some perks.”

“I would say your biggest advantage is the way you’ve always been so attuned to me. Supportive, and caring from the beginning. The way you make me feel like I’m the most important person in the universe when you look at me.”

“You are the most important person in my universe, always have been.”

Finally releasing his head, she lets her hands slip to his shoulders and she presses another soft kiss to his lip, smiling as he relaxes into her touch, “I love you Stephen.”

“I love you too,” he responds, his eyes practically sparkling back at her. The most carefree and happy expression she’s seen on his face in decades. “Can we just make this official now?”

“Impatient?” she laughs as she sits back in her seat but still holds onto his hand.

“Exceedingly. I’ve waited decades Y/N, I don’t want to wait for some other asshole to come swooping in now. I don’t want to waste more time.”

“You have nothing to worry about, I’m reasonably confident about this one.”

“Only reasonably?” His lower lip jets out.

“You’re going to be trouble aren’t you? But I suppose you’re my trouble now,” she smiles and shakes her head at the man.

“If we’re being truly honest, I’ve always been your trouble,” he chuckles and intertwines their fingers.

“That you have,” she nods and lifts their hands to press a kiss to the back of his.

“How long am I supposed to be stuck here for?”

“Sounded like they wanted to watch over you for a few days, then you’ll have to take it easy for another few days once you’re out.”

Groaning loudly he flops dramatically back against his pillow and winces at the movement, “I have far too much to do to take it easy.”

“And here I was thinking you’d like a few uninterrupted days in your bed with me taking care of you,” she says innocently, trying to hold back a laugh as his head turns dramatically back toward her. “I requested the week off to take care of you, Richards and Mordo already agreed and are taking care of your duties and setting up Doctor Robinson to take my place while I’m out.”

“You should have led with that,” he says roughly, a new fire in his eyes. “I have you all to myself, all week?”

“That you do Doctor Strange,” she grins. “And in light of new revelations, I can make sure you are thoroughly cared for. If you agree of course.”

A growl of frustration leaves his lips and he tugs on her hand, trying to pull her closer, “And I thoroughly agree. Yet you tease me knowing I’m stuck in this fucking room for another few days.”

Standing up and going back to his side, she cups his cheek with her free hand and leans down to his ear, “Now, you just have something to look forward to love.”

Her teeth barely graze his ear as he groans and his eyes shut, “You’re going to be the death of me.”

“Mm, probably,” she laughs and presses a kiss to his cheek. “I’ve been here this long, I don’t plan on taking off anytime soon.”

“You’re my one constant,” he admits, his eyes opening to look at her lovingly. “You always have been, and I don’t know what I’d do without you in my life. I’d have fallen apart one hundred times over by now.”

“Remember the promise I made you?” she asks him softly, gently running her fingers through his messy hair.

“Which one?”

“When we were 19. It was after your father passed, and you said you were all alone now. I told you I could never fill the hole they left, but that you’d never be alone. That I’ll always be there for you.”

“And you always have, through everything,” he smiles up and her and leans into her touch. “I love you, with all that I am. I’m yours without reservation, forever.”

“Well that was deeply romantic and Hallmark movie sounding, have you been planning that line for awhile?” she teases, pressing a kiss to his forehead. “But I love you too, there’s no place I’d rather be than here with you, and that’ll never change.”

“May have had some time to come up with that one,” he responds as he lifts his hand to her cheek. “I’m just… happy. Didn’t think we’d ever be together. And I was content with what we’ve had.”

“Content but not happy?”

He nods, “You make me happy, I’m happy being around you. I’m happy for you to be here. But I suppose… there’s that part of me that held on to what could have been. “

“Well there’s no more what ifs. We can start figuring out where we go from here now.”

“Bedrooms.”

“What?”

“You can keep things in the other room if you want, but I want you in my bed, with me.”

“And if I refuse?” She grins as he pouts. “I’m just kidding. I’ll happily cling to you like a monkey every night once your body is adequately holding itself together.”

“Or, more sound medical advice, you just do that now and hold it together for me,” he teases. “From the same medical school as kiss someone losing consciousness.”

“Hey you make fun of me for it, but it worked,” she argues.

“Mm that it did, but do me a favor and save that trick for only me?” His hand drifts down her arm.

“Let’s just hope I’m not in that position for a multitude of people. There’s so many people with a medical background in this building, if somehow another person starts bleeding out in front of me I’m just going to quit, because that’s just shit luck and I’m not that kind of doctor.”

“Do I need to make up a rule that no employee bleed to death in front of Doctor Y/L/N?” he grins as she sticks her tongue out at him.

“You’re awful.”

“Yet you still love me,” he says smugly, carefully lifting his arms to put them behind his head.

“Clearly either a chemical malfunction in my brain or some off-shoot version of Stockholm Syndrome.”  

“Keep telling yourself that,” he winks.

“For someone who nearly died today then was stuttering trying to tell me your feelings, you’re awfully confident now.”

“Like I said, I’m happy.”

“While I’m happy you’re happy, let’s stop moving so much before you pop a stitch,” she says as she feels for them carefully under his gown. “You’ll probably be stuck here longer if you do.”

Sighing at her words he nods and brings his arms down, reaching out to grasp her wrists and bring her closer to him, “Another kiss to ease the pain?”

“Are you always going to be this needy?” She teases, leaning partially over the bed to bring her face just inches from his.

His lips brush softly over hers as a smile slowly breaks through, “For you? Of course.”

----

Stephen Taglist: @stephenstrangeaddictions​ @ironstrange1991​ @gaitwae​ @geeky-politics-46​ @elicheel​ @frostandflamesfanfic​ @tokoyamisstuff​ @singhfae​ @jotaros-bara-tiddies​ @kon-pan-16​ @stanny-uwu​ @ohchoices​ @sparky22122 @typical-bistander​ @hunterofshadows04​ @evelynrosestuff​ @asgardianprincess1050​ @pop-rocks-and-skittles​ @namethathasnotbeentaken​ @peachywoong​  @valeriegreyy​ @cumberbitch​ @lightmeuplivly​ @lucimorningst4r​ @bluebear142077​ @strangeobsessed​  @bymoonlightfics​ @strangeions​ @sherlux​

There’s a link to a Google form to fill out if you’d like to be tagged, on my pinned Channel Navigation post and on my Masterlist! Makes sure I don’t miss your comment, and lets you opt out of certain things if you’d like :)

If I’ve tagged you in something you didn’t want to be tagged in (certain variant, a warning you aren’t comfortable with, etc) just message me and I’ll make a note on my sheet to make sure you aren’t tagged in anything like that again.

#doctor strange #Doctor Stephen Strange #Stephen Strange #supreme strange #supreme!strange #supreme strange x reader #doctor strange imagine #doctor strange x you #doctor strange x reader #stephen strange x reader #stephen strange x you #stephen strange imagine #marvel #fanfiction

[mars-wuz-herez]

Sonic Prime AU

What if Sonic died?

Part one 

Eggman's point of view 

I'm in my office but I can't seem to focus on working on my badniks. For the first time ever doing this seems….like a waste. Wow. Thinking about that is weird. I gaze down at the badnik I'm working on. I know what I have to do to finish it but my hands lack the movement to do it. Why?

I get up from my desk and take a walk around my base. I stop at a window. The sun is setting. From this view I see the mountain where I was earlier today. Then the whole thing replays in my head. I was so close to pulling out the Prism but that weird feeling came. The feeling of weakness and weird flashes that played in my head. Like memories that weren't mine. These flashes had 5 versions of me, doing evil things and well looking young and handsome. Heh. It was almost like looking in the mirror-

Cubot: “Sir? Are you okay?” 

I look down and see Cubot looking at me. 

Eggman: “What? Of course I’m ok! Now go make me something to eat.”

Cubot: “Yup right away”

I look back out the window and back at the mountain hands behind my back. The mountain. Where all my plans were ruined by that blue idiot. Wait, not him. Shadow. It was really weird seeing him there. I never thought he was the one to play hero. However the weirder thing was seeing the blue rat vanish into thin air. Did he run fast enough that his speed finally reached its limit? I told that blue rodent that one day his speed would get him killed-

Cubot: “Um sir?”

Eggman: “What?”

Cubot: “We are out of food”

Eggman: “Yeah?”

Cubot: “Well we don't have any food so I can't make you-”

Eggman: “Do you want to know the reason you came into existence?”

Cubot: “Yeah I've always wondered!”

Eggman: “So I don't have to go out and get the groceries myself! Now go do what you were made for before you are nothing but spare parts to me!”

Cubot looks down in sadness as he goes towards the door. Serves him right. I stare out the window again. Weird, I swear there were 5 badniks outside 5 minutes ago. Whatever. I look back at the mountain playing out the scene in my head again. The blue moron, my arch nemesis, just vanishes. For as long as I've been in Green Hill I have been trying to get rid of that pest. Now that he may finally be gone I don't exactly know how to feel about that. Is it really over? Is this decade of a long rivalry gone just like that?

Cubot: “Sir-”

Eggman: “I swear- WHAT IS IT NOW?”

Cubot: ”Are you… crying?”

Eggman: “Of course not you idiotic robot! What in the world would make you ask that?”

Cubot: “Well…”

Cubot points to his face. I turn and look at my reflection from the window. I spot a single tear rolling down my cheek. Is that really…. no. I wipe it away immediately and turn to Cubot. 

Eggman: “Is there a reason you aren't at the grocery store right now you know, GETTING MY FOOD?”

Cubot: “Yes actually. Um you have visitors”

Eggman: “Visitors? Who?”

Cubot: “Uhh…” *clears throat* (in a low voice) “Knuckles and Amy”

Eggman: “Aaaaaargh! CAN YOU SPEAK ANY LOWER?!?!”

Cubot: “Knuckles and Amy”

Eggman: “WHAT?!?!”

I head towards the front door and hide behind the wall. I peek over and see the red thing and pink pest. How did they get past my security? What the heck were they doing here? How did they know where I live?

Eggman (half whispering): “Why would you let them in? Don't you know I have a policy about letting friends of my arch nemesis into my home?”

Amy: “We can hear you! You're not very quiet”

I grumble. I straighten my shirt and walk towards them. 

Eggman: “To what do I owe this…displeasure?”

Amy: “Nice to see you too. Listen, we aren't here to fight or cause trouble okay? All we have are questions that we think you may have-”

Eggman: “WHAT HAPPENED TO MY DOOR?!?!”

Behind them lies a broken door. MY DOOR.

Amy: “You didn't answer the door the first 5 times we knocked so my friend here smashed it open”

I glance at Knuckles. He's adjusting his gloves but seems….nervous? 

Eggman: “I expect a payment for that”

Amy: “Well you're not getting one”

Eggman: “How am I supposed to replace it then?”

Amy: “I don't know, figure it out. Anyways-”

Eggman: “If i'm not going to receive a payment then get me a new door”

Amy: “You're not getting anything”

Knuckles: “Can we focus on the reason we are here?”

Eggman: “Yeah why are you here? Last time I checked the blue pain in my butt vanished. Aren't you two supposed to be…I don't know…finding a way to bring him back?”

I don't know why I asked that. It's not like I care for the moron. I'm just… curious to see if they had a solution to bring him back…so my future plans aren't foiled. Yeah that's it. 

Amy: “We’re trying. We have a plan but in order to complete it we need, unfortunately, you. We need some information about the Paradox Prism. We think the Prism may have a part in the reason Sonic vanished”

Eggman: “It would make sense. When he started to vanish I noticed that the tips of the shards were a little burnt. Also the weird visions that I had witch included Sonic in them was really weird-”

I stop talking when I see Amy looking at me confused and half surprised. Personally I'm surprised by my actions as well. What the heck has gotten into me? 

Eggman: “And what makes you think I would just give you the information huh? In case you’ve been living under a rock all these years, I have done nothing but to try and get rid of this rodent and now that he is gone-”

Amy: “You can't help but feel sad that after a decade of rivalry with Sonic it's finally over?”

Eggman: “What? Absolutely not! How dare you even- you know what? Get out of my house”

Amy and Knuckles: “What?”

Eggman: “Get out of my house! I don't want to see your stupid faces here and I certainly don't want to hear you saying how much I care about his blue rodent when I don't! Get out of my house now! Also don't forget to send me money for the new door”

I’m pushing them out when Amy shouts 

Amy: “no”

Eggman: “Excuse me?”

Amy: “I said NO”

Then out of nowhere she slams her hammer into my foot.

Eggman: “OUCH!!! WHAT THE HECK IS WRONG WITH YOU-”

Amy: “FOR ONCE IN YOUR LIFE YOU’RE GOING TO LISTEN TO ME! As much as you won't admit it, you still care about him! You care about him so much you didn't even think to invade the villages today while we were distracted huh? This rivalry has kept you going for so long that now, with him gone, it all feels like a waste right?”

I open my mouth but no words come out. Could she be right? I haven’t even thought of invading the villages. Heck I haven't even finished building my robots. Maybe this pink pain is onto something. 

Amy: “I know you won't admit it out loud but I can see it written all over your face that you do care about him.”

She is falls silent for a minute then speaks again.

Amy: “Will you help us?”

I think about her question. This time though I have an answer.

Eggman: “Follow me”

END OF PART ONE 

To be continued…

Mentions

@mrfrobbert @hawk-has-alot-of-gay-ships @callme-aprilroseisha04 @rainestorm05 @upodubo-reblog @seaslugdisco @bun-bie @annoyingcat413 @bee-birb @idiotayo @theavo-guac

Sorry for the long wait. Ready for Part two?

(Sorry if this feels rushed)

#sonic the hedgehog #sonic prime season 3 #sonic prime spoilers #sonadow prime #sonic prime #amy rose #knuckles the echidna #eggman #let me know your opinion on this #kinda rushed it I know #what if sonic died in sonic prime? #my sonic prime au #writes-from-mars

[desceros]

Okay I have something of a long post/ask/critical analysis of Symphony AU that I want to address. you're free to ignore it if I'm just spouting off insane copium. Or whatever you want to do with it lol. This is more about the turtles that about the Violist.

First I'm gonna talk about Donnie because he's arguably the easiest one to talk about. And take less time. He spent at the very least 15 years of his life knowing exactly five people, three brothers, his dad, and a bestie/pseudo big sister. They're all people who completely understand/grew up with him. And he's used to people adapting to his needs without having to say anything because he's, well, they're brother/son. Speaking from a purely canon standpoint in Rise you can see it, Raph refuses to tell Donnie they hate his gifts because it'll crush him. Stuff like that. Leo calling him a "weirdo" doesn't really mean much of anything considering he's Donnie's brother, and this is about pineapple on pizza.

This is all to say I see how Donnie just didn't bother communicating this was all for his touch experiment. As far as he's basically aware, she already knew. He wasn't going to read between the lines because he'd grown accustomed to the way his brothers, April, and dads act. Which, in hindsight, bit him in the ass because the violist literally doesn't know him aside from "purple turtle science man".

So. I get him. I get where he's coming from even if it ended up kinda fucking up the violist. That's all part of the learning curve of knowing people who don't already know who you are and whatever.

Now for Leo, maybe this is REALLY just me on my copium life support but I see where he's coming from too. Again, when you look at it from a canon lens I see where Leo is coming from. He's always been protective of his family, even more so than Raph at points. He didn't trust Big Mama immediately, even though the rest of his brothers did. He was perfectly willing and happy to DIE IN THE PRISON DIMENSION to keep his family safe. Like, let's not forget he, as well as the others, has a ton of unchecked trauma that he's definitely not willing to address to anyone. A decade of unaddressed trauma will do things to someone's psyche, intentionally or not. The guilt of almost killing his brothers has been festering inside him for over a decade now, this doesn't really seem entirely like a "my brother touches you and not me >:(" thing.

The way I see it Leo's acting out because he's actually just terrified of someone hurting his family again. It's definitely not okay, and it's condemnable. But as someone who's done some pretty fucked shit when I was dealing with my depression before meds, I've been Leo before. That man needs help, and fast.

We've also seen, from Symphony AU that he's mostly accepted the violist as part of the family now. The comments he makes about her being "Donnie's toy" are, again, things he seems to be saying to get a rise out of Donnie. We know he's been doing that for a while. And I wouldn't really put it past him for continuing to try and do it now that Donnie's not allowed to do his experiments anymore.

I had a way better way of wording this last night but I ended up watching TMNT 1987 instead but to summarize my thoughts, I sympathize with both Leo and Donnie and don't believe either of them are irredeemable monsters. If I'm somehow wrong about Leo and this is all just conduit to getting Donnie and the violist together then I'm gonna be so :(. Mafuyu Main Story chapter 14 even.

Or, again, maybe I'm just coping lol.

oh i'm all about symphony copium. breathe deep, anon-chan, hahahaha

aaaaand in true desceros fashion this got way too long so i'm tucking it under a cut. rolls eyes at myself soooooo hard

you're largely correct, though i will specify that for donnie it's not that he "didn't bother" to communicate what he thought was going on, so much as he thought he did.

i invite you-slash-everyone to read this passage from when the agreement was struck to see what i mean. i've removed all of viola-chan's thoughts and interpretations for you, and left you with just the core of the conversation, color-coded for clarity on who's speaking:

“We have… exhausted the limits of touching that I would perform with most people.”  [...] “…What do you mean?”  “I mean that all of the myriad mechanical touches I have experienced so far in my life, we’ve covered together. [...] I’ve become completely enured to them all, so long as you’re the one doing them. There is, of course, an obvious next step, but I wanted to discuss it before we begin.”  “To… touches you haven’t done?” [...] “Correct." [...] “I… don’t understand." [...] “I’m referring to more… intimate touches. We’ve… already been pushing at the boundary a bit, so I wanted to be very specific and clear." [...]

“I… take it you don’t scent your brothers.” “No, I don’t." [...] “Donnie, I—[...] I like you. You know that, right?”  “You aren’t very good at hiding it, no. [...] I, of course, like you as well, though I’d like to think that has been well demonstrated over our time together.”

[...]"…Intimate touches. [...] Like… what, petting? Kissing? Sex? What are we talking about, exactly?”  “All of it, ideally. [...] I’m quite curious to study how I’ll react, especially considering the whole touch aversion situation.” [...] “…Do… Do you wanna try it? [...] …Us, together, I mean?”  [...] “Really? With… With me?” [...] “Of course, I—[...]Donnie, I… of course. I’d be stupid to say no, right?” “Oh, that’s such a relief. [...] I’ve been making spreadsheets of things I’ve wanted to try for several days and wondering how best to bring it up, especially considering—well. It’s quite helpful that you did so yourself. Excellent work, consultant.” [...] “Well, I’d like to amend our agreement on how turtle time is going to go, from now on in light of all this, [...] We’re partners, now, so we have to take care of each other. [...]” “[...]Very well. If those are your terms for partnership, I accept.”

see how differently it reads without viola-chan's thoughts staining it? stripped of her thoughts, you can easily see where the miscommunication happened. other than a few incidental pieces of dialogue that don't affect the meaning of the convo, this is it.

in donnie's mind, he and viola-chan were very much on the same page. "partnership". "agreement". these are words that viola-chan uses. when he refers to spreadsheets, she just rolls with it. as far as he's concerned, they're talking about a scientific study here. he did communicate, and well. it's just... viola-chan put things there that he didn't. and that's not her fault, because at this point she hasn't picked up on how to communicate with donnie yet. and it's completely rational to assume, when discussing sex and romance and hearing someone say "i like you"--and then going on to kiss and have sex with that person--that it's a romantic relationship. as stated in the fic, my personal opinion (which to be clear, as someone who stands on death of the author, this *is* just my opinion) neither of them did the other ill. they literally just didn't know how to communicate yet. so i 100% agree with you on being able to see donnie's side of this. i have another long-ass ask somewhere in the meta tag discussing the lack of socializing specifically, if you're curious for more of my thoughts on that.

i also agree with you largely with the leo portion of your analysis. i... can't go into as much detail on his side of things, but rest assured that before everything is over, viola-chan and leo are going to have more than one conversation. and the two of them, despite everything, really do mesh well and talk about things, so it'll be a satisfying resolution, i think.

anyway WOW that got way too long but teal deer, i agree and love deep meta-analysis of my stuff so don't apologize in the slighest, yeehaw

#we're all coping for symphony it's ok anon-chan #“even you? but you're the asshole writing it?” #yeah but that means this shit is in my head ALL THE TIME. nOBODY copes harder than i do. #ask tag #symphony tag #symphony meta

[aquilapolariz]

never made, never broken (portgas d. ace x reader)

Summary: In the kindest way possible, Ace fails to make a promise- and you don’t even realize it until it’s too late.

Notes/ Warnings: spoilers for events that lead up to Marineford, there's some light angst, follows canon; i originally wrote this to be a part of a series that featured law x diplomat! reader x ace, but i quickly realized i can't commit to multi-chapter works ;((

Word Count: 1.4k | Read below the cut or on Ao3

You looked in horror at the scene in front of you. Thatch’s blood spilled in the dead of night and Blackbeard nowhere to be found.

You turned to your left, Ace standing next to you, his teeth clenching in anger. He’s the one who guided you to Thatch’s quarters at your request, after you heard the awakening chaos of the aftermath.

“Ace, what are you thinking of doing?” You asked, afraid.

“(Y/N), you already know the answer to that question. And you know why I’m about to do it. You can’t talk me out of it.”

“We both know that I actually can talk you out of it-“

“That’s why I’m tryyyying to drown you out as much as I can, but that’s really difficult because it’s YOU!”

“Ace, Thatch wouldn’t want this. Teech has a very dangerous fruit-“

“We can’t know for sure what Thatch would have wanted. And that’s why we have to strike back now- Teech can’t be an expert in this fruit yet, he’s still gotta be learning.”

You were very clearly shocked by his logic.

“Yeah, that’s right,” he flaunted, “I learned a thing or two from you, (Y/N).”

You didn’t know whether to be angry, proud, upset, but the absurdity of the situation almost made you laugh.

“We don’t know what we’re up against. Who knows how long Teech has been planning this plot of his. There’s too many unknowns.” He didn’t even give you a second glance. “Andddd you’re not even listening to me.”

“IT’S PART OF MY TACTIC!” Ace reasoned walking to his own quarters, ready to pack a bag. You didn’t notice him slip your wanted poster into the outer pocket. After zipping it up and seeing your genuine concern, he paused, collecting his thoughts. “I can’t let myself be stopped by you, I’m sorry.”

He marched up to the deck, filled with many of the crew, all of them reeling from the events of a couple hours ago. The fire burning in Ace’s eyes was blinding. Every crew member was trying to extinguish it, telling him to calm down. Ace was yelling back, “If I don’t do anything about it, Thatch’s spirit can’t rest!”

Whitebeard, hooked up to his IVs said his name. “It’s okay. This is an exception…I have a bad feeling about this.” You, too, had a bad feeling about this. If you weren’t the only one, something was definitely not right.

“He killed his crewmate and ran away. He had been loyal to you for decades and then he threw dirt in your face!” He turned away, moving his hat from behind his neck to the crown of his head. “And above all, he disgraced my father’s name. I can’t allow that.”

The Moby Dick fell eerily silent. You wanted so desperately to stop him, or at least go with him, but you knew that would only hold him back. Your words were your weapons, but they were rendered useless in a fight like this. Not when Blackbeard so brutally killed Thatch, all for a devil fruit. Part of diplomacy is knowing when to stop the talking, and knowing when to take action. You knew this was one of those times. But it had to be carefully thought out action, not whatever impulsive thoughts Ace was thinking. But his determination was as overwhelming as the heat of Alabasta. As much as you believed in Ace and his strength, this seemed too risky.

If Ace wouldn’t listen when you spoke from your head, or if he wouldn’t listen to his crewmates, he would listen if you spoke from your heart, right? “Don’t leave me!” you pleaded, a final act of desperation. “Ace, Thatch just got killed. If something happens to you too, I don’t know what-“

“Hey, come on,” his face softened whenever he looked at you. He was scared this would happen, that his resolve would waver and crumble to ashes if he spared you even a single glance. He pulled you in for a hug, his arms around your waist, causing your arms to be sandwiched between your chest and his. “Trust me, I’ll be back before you know it. Like I said, I wanna live without any regrets. If I don’t go now…I’ll regret that for the rest of my life.”

You pulled away from Ace to look at him. Ace’s conviction for this ran deep, the stories he’s told of his birth and past that he trusted you with were coming to mind. Memories of his newfound devotion to Whitebeard as father came flooding in.

“I know. But what if…what if I’m the one who ends up regretting letting you go.”

“How can I ease your worry?” Ace’s voice was gentle, but steadfast and determined.

You leaned in and whispered into his ear as his arm snaked its way around your waist, not wanting anyone else to hear the sacred words of a promise. “Promise me that you’ll come back to me, immediately after you deal with Blackbeard. Right away. And that you won’t pull another stunt like this in the future. That you’ll obey Pops once you step back on this ship.”

“Okay.” Ace could see how serious you were. How your brows creased, and right below those arched eyebrows, your eyes were watering up. Even in distress you were beautiful to him. But he hated seeing you so sad and even more, being the cause of your worry. For you, he would agree. He’d be satisfied after killing Blackbeard. After this he wouldn’t need to do something so drastic ever again.

You held out your pinky, ready for his own to wrap around, sealing a promise. He removed his right arm from your waist and instead of grasping your finger, he grabbed your entire hand and kissed it.

“Ace-?!” Flustered, you pulled your hand back.

He chuckled. It would be a while until he saw you again, so he wanted you to be wearing a smile.

To everyone right now, he was a ball of fiery energy, unstoppable and hot to the touch, but to you, he was just Ace. Always just Ace. So you couldn’t help when you broke into a smile.

“Look at you, going from sad to happy in seconds.” He loves seeing your smile, or rather, he hates seeing you so close to crying.

You rolled your eyes. “Just because I smiled for two seconds doesn’t mean I’m not worried.”

“Yeah, yeah. Hopefully I’ll be able to find Teech quickly. I’ll head toward the Red Line.”

“Yeah he couldn’t have gone too far…Alabasta might be a good bet.” The crew was shocked you were letting him go. But it was clear to you, just as it became clear to Whitebeard minutes ago, that nothing in this world could stop Ace.

“What would I do without you?” Ace asked.

“You’d get lost,” you deadpanned.

You just barely heard the mumbles of the crew: “we gotta stop him,” “he’s too far gone..”

“Just be safe, Fire Fist, at least for my sake if not yours.”

“Anything for you, Fire Fly.” Ace sat at the edge of the ship, ready to jump into Striker. “I’ll see you soon. I can’t stay away from you too long even if I tried.” He turned to take a solemn look at the sea ahead. “This is just another mission, don’t worry about me,”

“Kick his ass, Ace. I’ll see you soon.” With a thin smile, you saw him off.

“Will do, (Y/N),” He picked up his bag, filled only with the necessities, “I’ll take care of this!” He yelled to the entire crew as he jumped down to Striker.

The chorus of “wait” and “come back” from the crew didn’t reach your ears. You waved as he let flames consume his back, his devil fruit powers activating Striker, propelling him forward, never looking back. As Ace said, it was just another mission, another everyday task of a pirate. But was it that simple?

Thinking back to the promise you made with Ace just minutes earlier, you realized it was never sealed- Ace never wrapped his pinky around yours.

You watched as Striker approached the horizon, and so did Ace, his Whitebeard tattoo getting smaller and smaller in the distance until it completely disappeared.

You sighed wistfully; a promise never made is a promise that can never be broken.

#portgas d ace #portgas d ace x reader #portgas d ace x y/n #portgas d ace x you #gn reader #one piece #one piece fanfiction #ace one piece #gender neutral reader #iz writes

[ot3]

omg thank you for being the first normal person I've seen so far about AI who's also an artist T-T like obviously all the stealing is horrible and it's good it's talked about but almost everyone really is acting like the idea of computers being capable of creating images killed their firstborn child

(also I don't mean it as one of the weird AI art bros but as an artist myself I'm just glad that there are other artist with open mind to the concept)

no right like its insane to me to see how many other people who seem reasonable and level headed are falling for the kneejerk response to say ai Isn't Art Can't Be Art ! It's throwing out the baby with the bathwater to an almost incomprehensible degree.

Unfortunately the fact of the matter is that we live in an era where essentially all new technology's first and prime purpose will be for ghoulish, capitalistic, anti-human ends. But to reject any other uses for the technology doesn't do anything other than make you look like an anti-tech weirdo. This is genuinely insanely impressive and revolutionary tech! There are a TON of legitimate artistic uses for AI image generation.

It also seems weird that everyone is delving into this false binary of 'dont use AI, learn to draw' as if there is any conceivable reason for these things to be mutually exclusive? Like, before all of the AI discourse really popped off i was doing some experimenting with using AI in my process.

the texturing used in this drawing was made by VQGAN + Clip (different type of image generation than the stable diffusion model that is producing most of the AI art that's up for debate right now) running through google colab. I made a bunch of these weird, ethereal images that would have been almost impossible for me to produce under my own power - it would have taken a titanic amount of time, effort, and design to produce any of these through illustrative or photo editing techniques.

here's a sampling of some of the textures i made. Now I think it would be a real struggle to try and claim that these images made are plagiarisms. However, I stopped messing with the google colab generation for one key reason: i didnt know enough about the image databases being used to train these models. That's the real stumbling block

the internet is CHOCK FULL of images that are free to use commercially and repurposes, there's stuff like wikimedia commons, the smithsonian open access, unsplash and pexels which have free stock photos, etc. I honestly think a nonzero amount of artists would consent to having some of their work used in image generation databases if they were promised noncommercial use of the resulting images, also. But the problem is the people training these AI don't give a shit about any of that. It's just the complete entitlement to other people's work and neglect for creative boundaries that makes AI generation bad.

The fact that people are attempting to replicate the art of living, working artists, or people like kentaro miura who by all accounts were so dedicated to the craft that they worked themselves to death sickens me. And the fact that the companies responsible for this are using that as an active selling point for their product is even worse. It's a pretty miserable time to be an artist, and this is just the icing on the cake.

But I don't want silicon valley greed and bizarre, impotent jealousy from redditors who want custom waifu jpgs to mean that nobody who could really benefit from AI image generation gets to use it.

like, my dad for example. he's been a creative person his whole life but it never really went anywhere. He drew a lot as a kid and then went and got a degree in filmmaking. My parents were living in LA when I was born, with my dad managing a filming/sound studio and the two of them trying to break into writing screenplays. This did not happen because they had three kids, and for the past decade and then some my dad had been doing database programming on contract for the CDC. Now, in his mid 50s, he's finally got a permanent and secure position and, rather than spending all his free time raising children or getting PMP certified to try and angle for a string of promotions, he can start having hobbies again. there's a comic he's been wanting to draw for as long as I can remember.

only, one big problem - in 2021 he had surgery on his cataracts and never healed properly. He's got severely impaired vision and looking at stuff too hard for to long causes him a ton of eye strain and pain. He has to look at a lot of screens for his job so by the time he's off work for the day he's pretty much too fatigued to do all the intense visual stuff it'd take to make a comic.

I wanted to tell him AI image generation could help him make the kind of stuff he always dreamed about making as a kid but instead I had to tell him that as it stands, the predatory nature of AI modeling means it's insanely hard to use it without ripping off vulnerable creatives. Instead we chatted a bit about combining 3d assets, digitally edited photos, or photobashing/digital kitbashing methods to try and make a pipeline he could do without drawing, but the time commitment to learn these methods is probably just not feasible unless his eyes make a pretty unprecedented recovery in future years.

Like, that's the worst thing about all of this. The idea that AI makes the production of certain kinds of art more accessible to people with disabilities isn't just a 'gotcha' being used by the pro-AI people, it's also true. I would love for my dad to be able to make his comic. I myself also have a huge string of health issues and sometimes the main thing stopping me from drawing is that it hurts to do so. Anything in my process that could reduce the strain drawing puts on my body is an accessibility concern in some ways. Eventually degrading so much that I can't draw at all is one of my biggest fears.

But that doesn't counter all of the negatives! It just doesnt! Which fucking sucks man it just sucks so fucking bad that we have this cool incredible thing and we can't use it without being complicit in some stuff i am fully ideologically against! As things stand I really cant imagine that 'ethical' AI image generation will ever exist, so unfortunately it will have to be in the hands of the people using it to decide for themselves if they are using it in a way that is predatory or harmful, or as a legitimate tool to make meaningful works of art.

#sorry to go on this whole rant ive just been percolating on these thoughts for awhile. #long post #ai #i know this comes off as preachy im just passionate about this subject

[kinglivv]

Seventy Years

Missy x Reader

Summary: Missy and the reader used to run together, wreaking havoc across the universe. But since Missy’s entrapment in the vault, they haven’t had an ounce of contact…

Warnings: Swearing, generally threatening behaviour from both parties

A/N: I haven’t posted a fic in a year and half, but today I sat down and forced myself to write after Missy popped up in a dream of mine very briefly. I’m not sure if there’s still even an audience for it, and my writing skills are a bit rusty as well as my Doctor Who knowledge. Enjoy!

Fuck. Fuck fuck fuck fuckity fuck.

This was bad.

You grab the TARDIS leaver for what must be the hundredth time and slam it down to no avail. The ship creaks slightly, but as you desperately press buttons and turn knobs, it doesn’t budge. Why, why, why had you never got the Doctor to teach you how to fly it properly?

Catching your breath, you slump against the console, it’s edge digging into your lower back as you stare at the wall blankly, racking your brain for a solution. Psychic link? No - you hadn’t done that in years and you weren’t in the mood for a migraine. Search for a manual? No - you’d spend days just searching for it. Ask the ship nicely? Definitely no - she was a bitch.

There was simply no one but the Doctor who knew how to fly the TARDIS, and when the Doctor was stranded on another planet in another time zone, there wasn’t a whole lot you could do to get back to him.

And then another idea spawns. It makes your guts twist and your stomach crawl and you grit your teeth. You were smart, even for a human, and you knew there was really no other solution.

—-

“Missy?”

There’s silence from the other side of the door and you almost turn back. This is a bad idea.

“Missy?”

“This is an unusual place to find you, dear,”

The Glasgow accent cuts through tension like an ice pick, so clear, crisp and steady, just as it’s always been. You swallow.

“I need your help.”

More silence. And then the voice is right there on the other side, so close.

“Ah. Should have known you’d only come down here if you wanted something.”

“The Doctor’s on Mars,” you power on, squeezing your eyes shut and pretending you’re speaking to anyone but her, “sometime in the 1800s. There’s Ice Warriors and Victorians, and I was in the TARDIS and it just - it just dematerialised and it won’t go back to him. I don’t know what to do.”

There’s a pause as she contemplates your predicament. You haven’t uttered the question, but she knows exactly what you’re asking.

“Have taken any readings?” She finally asks.

“Yes,” a hurried hand pulls out the piece of paper you’d scrawled over, “Eye of harmony’s at 260 degrees Celsius. Oils at 350. Pressure’s at 7.”

“Good girl,” you can hear a smile in her voice and your cheeks flare up.

“So do you know what’s wrong with it?” You almost snap.

“You’re not gonna be able to fix it, I’ll tell you that much,”

“So what do I do?”

“You let me out.”

—

The vault doors open with a hiss and there she stands, silhouetted in the dim blue light and cutting the most dashing figure. There’s a tap tap tap of her heels as she approaches you, a smug smile on her face. She’s changed since you last saw her, maybe seventy years ago now. Her make-up’s softer, her hair less tamed, and her smile is somewhat half hearted. The mania’s still there though, in the whites of her eyes and down the line of her cheek bone.

She reaches you and takes a brief glance around the hallway. It’s the most she’s seen of Bristol since her entrapment in the vault. And then there’s a click and she looks down in time to see a handcuff slotting around her wrist. The other side is on yours. She looks to your other hand and sees a… pencil and she grins. She’d taught you decades ago just how easy it was to kill a Timelord with even the smallest of sharp objects - just one nip at the back of the neck and they’re forced into their next regeneration. The sight of it in your hand makes her heart flutter and her stomach sink.

“I see how it is,” she fakes the bravado and you see right through it.

Without a word, you give the chain a yank and she follows you silently.

—-

“No funny business,” you instruct her as you approach the TARDIS console, although you know it’s a useless sentiment. She could pull the leaver and shove you into a black hole within seconds if she so pleased. But she’d allowed you the luxury of obediently walking up to the Doctor’s office without so much as a word, save for the moment when she’d grabbed your hand as someone passed by you in an effort to hide the handcuffs. Your heart had caught in your throat and you’d hoped she couldn’t feel it hammering away.

Now, stood in the TARDIS, she looks at you with an eyebrow raised.

“As if I’d ever!” She mocks offense. “Mars 1810, you said?”

“Yes,” you reply, and your arm is forced to move with her as she reaches for different buttons. You’re uncomfortably close. “Coordinates 29487 by 74,” you say unprompted when her hands hover over the keyboard expectantly, and it makes your stomach twist with how easily you fall back into this routine after seventy years of virtually no contact. Memories surface of you decades ago, pressed up against her as you whisper all the places you wanted her to take you.

She types in the coordinates and twists a vast variation of knobs and presses buttons you’d never had thought needed pressing. Just before she pulls the leaver, you say “Wait.” and pull the monitor over, double checking she’s taking you exactly where she’s promised. You neglect to notice how she’s looking at you.

“You really don’t believe I’ve changed,” her shoulders have slumped slightly and you glance at her.

“Is that supposed to make me feel something?” you say passively, attention shifting back to the monitor.

Missy’s jaw clenches.

“Seventy years,” she states.

“Seventy years is nothing compared to the hundreds you’ve spent wreacking havoc.”

“I seem to remember you were present for quite a bit of that,” she retorts, “you could have visited me at any point. I know you’ve been living in Bristol,l.”

You ignore the thinly veiled accusation and scroll through the monitor. She was right though. You’d been here this whole time, posing as a student (you’d acquired almost thirty degrees in your decades spent here with the Doctor) and living a normal human life, avoiding the Mistress and waiting for her to change.

And then she yanks the cuffs and you’re dragged into her with an “oof!”

“You know what I think it is,” she hisses, “I think you like to pretend we’re different, like those years we spent together didn’t happen.”

“Missy, stop!” You struggle against her but she holds you fast.

“Does it never occur to you that I might be trying? And that your ignoring me for seventy years might be having a detrimental impact on that?“

“I wanted to know if you’re serious about this,” you snap back, the threat leaking into your voice and there you are, she almost wants to smile with glee. You were never really scared, least of all of her and you still had that bite in you. “Me and you are no good for each other if you’re really going cold turkey from being bad. Civilisations have burned because we’ve egged each other on, and the fact is that you can’t get better when I’m in the picture. Not when you could persuade me to break you out, or teach me how to force the Doctor into his next regeneration. We’re not good for each other and that’s a well known fact - I’ve not been avoiding you, I’ve been waiting.”

Missy’s face softens in surprise and you wonder if maybe you’ve gone to far. Maybe she’ll really sling you into a black hole now. Her mouth opens but before she can say anything, you’ve snapped off the cuffs and yanked the lever down. The TARDIS wheezes and you storm off to stand at the doors and wait whilst she’s left to pilot to a safe position on Mars.

—

You’re in trouble with the Doctor, you’re well aware. You’d apologised profusely when he’d stepped on board and his ever expressive eyebrows had knotted so deeply in her direction. There was a silence as he’d quickly dropped a shaking Bill home, and now he’d stepped out to drop Nardole off in his office - they had been out there a while and where presumably having an argument about the current predicament.

Missy however, sits unbothered by it all, tucked into a little alcove off one of the upper walkways circling the console room. She’s reading a book on TARDIS maintenance.

She glances up when you sit down opposite in the alcove.

“You’re right,” you announce, “and I’m sorry.”

Usually she’d retort with an “I’m always right!”, but today she just watches you, waiting, her cheekbones hollow in the soft light of the TARDIS, her eyes so blue. It occurs to you that you haven’t really seen her in a long time. Sure, the Doctor had occasionally showed you a photo of her, updated you on her progress, but this is the first time you’d really looked at her since you’d gone cold turkey from your friendship.

“I’m sorry I haven’t visited you,” you say, “and I should have. I guess I’ve just been… scared. And after I went so long without seeing you it was just easier to pretend none of it never happened.”

She nods, gaze shifting to the pillar in the centre of the TARDIS. “I am trying,” she confesses, “some days are better than others, but in whole… I think I really am trying,”

“I know you are.”

You lean over and press a kiss to her lips. A proper one, and it strikes you how familiar it is, how easily you fall back into your old pattern. You’re made for each other really, in body, mind and soul and you hold her jaw as she kisses back eagerly, not daring to move her hands from her book, frozen in the moment.

And then the door swings open - the Doctor’s definitely seen it, and the Doctor’s definitely not happy, but you turn away from Missy and push past him. A new chapter seems to be beginning.

(Will add my old taglist when i can find it)

#doctor who #the master #missy x reader #missy #gomez!master #michelle gomez #madam satan #the twelfth doctor #nardole #bill potts #peter capaldi #gender neutral reader #reader insert #doctor who fic #the vault #empress of mars #ice warriors

[charkyzombicorn]

Garp once got cussed out by Sun's personality au Luffy when he had seastone on and Garp didn't know how to react.

OHOHOHOHOHOHOHOHOHOHOH--

Garp saw Luffy, drenched an tangled in the seastone net, and he wasn't making a sound. Garp didn't care to notice, he marched over to where Luffy was sat on the ship deck and covered his fist in a bit of haki, before punching the kid in the head.

Instead of rubber Garp's knuckles hit a solid skull, Luffy's head snapped down with the force, his teeth clacking together and his head didn't bounce back like it was supposed to. Luffy didn't whine, or yell or even cry. He just sat there. So Garp broke the silence. "You brat! This is what I get for raising you?! You're still a damned pirate!" He went to, because it was easy, he'd said it a hundred times before, he'd likely say it a hundred times again. He didn't bring up anything, he didn't mention that now, Luffy would never be a marine - now that his parentage was out.

Luffy finally raised his head, and Garp almost relieved at the return to normalcy; he was about to yell about how he was gonna be a pirate whether Garp liked it or not, and whine like a kid about not wanting to be a marine, just like back in the good old days when Garp could fit all three of his grandsons in one arm.

"You didn't raise me. You killed the man that raised me." Luffy grit, and the eyes that met Garp's were not grumpy, or even teary like when he last saw his grandson on Ace's final stage. Luffy was looking at him in a way Garp hadn't seen in a decade, the way Ace used to look when he thought too long. Hatred, grief, mistrust, the kind of look you had to earn.

Garp's teeth grit in turn. "Ace made his choice--"

"You made the choice to get in my way. Don't you dare accuse Ace of deserving what happened and don't act like I'm a child who doesn't understand exactly what you chose." Luffy hissed, his whole form shaking, his face pale and his pupils pinpricks. On his knees he was the same height he was when Garp would ruffle his hair and carry him when he fell asleep, but now Garp faced a man.

"I swore myself to the marines--"

"You were the closest thing Ace had to a father!" Luffy yelled, trying to get to his feet but his eyes glazed over and he fell to his knees again. He was breathing harshly. "Maybe it's a pirate thing, maybe it's because I'm a outlaw but I would have given up every oath I have if it mean't Ace kept his promise to not die! I would have sold myself to the marines in an instant if it meant Ace got the chance to live the life he wanted!" He barked. "But that's not justice, is it? Justice is hunting children, shooting down free men and bowing to the masters who would take your life because all they've ever known is to take! I hate you!" He thrashed in the seastone net, but it did nothing.

Garp stared at the man that used to be his brash, weepy grandson. The man who used to beg Garp to train him more if only to stay on the island a little longer. The man who used to come back to Dadan's with large bruises, broken bones and a smile because he got just a little closer to Ace that day. The man who loves so completely and unconditionally he doesn't mind bleeding for it. The man who couldn't lie. The man who said he hated Garp, after his love ran out of excuses.

Garp looked at the man, truly looked at him past the resemblance he had to Garp's youngest grandson.

Because his grandson, the only one he had left, was gone.

#one piece #sun's personality au #Garp's got no family left for him <3 #Sucks to suck #Go off Luffy yeah you're having an awful time rn but ur words r gospel ✨

[bakedspoonie]

I watched the episode where house goes to a clinic for meds and it’s been bothering me for dayssss. So house is trying to lead the guy to prescribe Vicodin he’s talking about pain and the guy offers CODEINE and house says no like a fucking idiot (codeine is an excellent pain med and very controlled in America if a doctor offers it TAKE IT). Then the doctor offers gabapentin, which I happen to take it’s primarily for nerve pain and won’t help any other pain. And now we are to the part that bothered me, House says he want something that’ll help him sleep. So the guy finally says Vicodin which is what house was fishing for. Why does this bother me you may ask? Everyone I’ve known on Vicodin became energetic myself included! Gabapentin on the other hand? The drug I’ve taken for over a decade? It is a med that is so sedating it often gets prescribed as an off label sleep med. you aren’t meant to take even a small dose during the day it’s a bed time med. I used to take the max dose during the day and my god staying awake was a chore. I still take rescues during the day and almost always end up napping and I can’t nap easily thanks to sleep disorders. Which again is one reason it was chosen by my doctors it helps two symptoms. I know it says it causes drowsiness but I’ve never met a drowsy person on it, last time I took it i was insane. It made my racing thoughts and tachycardia going full blast. My step dad was addicted to it and a few other pain meds and he was super wired most of the time. Not taking the codeine is the dumbest thing I’ve seen tho, it’s literally an opioid in the morphine family which we know works cause he uses morphine on really bad pain days. Refusing the gabapentin makes sense as it’s only for nerve pain and house claims that isn’t what he’s feeling. I say claims because the injury he has killed and damaged the nerves in his leg so he is probably feeling some nerve pain on top of the other types of pain. He’d do better on a mix of meds to relieve the various types of pain he’s likely feeling. But what do I know I’ve just suffered from chronic illness and pain my entire life.

#Baked rewatcb #House md #Disabled person watched medical drama

[punkeropercyjackson]

Nico and Percy have been my favorite dynamic in the entire Riordanverse for a decade now and i'll shamefully admit that for a long time it was in a romantic way because of young and inexperienced naivety but i digress,nobody and i mean NOBODY ELSE'S relathionship has ever topped their's for me and it's incredibly impressive that Rick tried so hard to convince us what they had was never real or meant to last yet their platonic and familial love for eachother is still so there on every page that involves both of them.And now that i've gained proper analysis and writing skills,i know the version that they most deserve is where Percy is explicitly a femme trans woman and Nico is a trans boy instead of just accidental coding

Nico stands at her balcony to give her his plan,not knowing she's a her just yet,and in those moments of eating blue cake together and a few other things happening you realize the boy you hated yourself over was never a boy at all because you put your idolization aside to let yourself relax and see her for who she is.You tell her that and she freaks out for a second until you tell her you're the same in more than just being a demigod and you're both happy and promise to be friends again.Months pass of it not being broken this time and you've taught eachother about what you love to do and her favorite food is his favorite now too and she has his favorite song memorized and her mom is now their mom but he's not free from his monster of a father just yet.Her name is now short for his asshole stepmom's name because she wanted to thank her for helping her transition(ancient greek magic shit)and he won't say it to the asshole in question's face but he thinks it's got a nice ring to it because it's his best friend's name and he's her biggest weakness and the one who made her stronger than ever

You're at the skatepark she used to go to as a kid but stopped when the trauma set in but now she'd back because she can finally truly live as a girl and you bought matching skateboard's in your own styles(Her's is sea themed and very clearly a girl's,yours is gothic with a cheeky colorful twist)and she's teaching you how to do it and you're ecstatic and you both know this meant to be a calm before the storm of the war that you're both too young to be a part of but the adults are no good so you have no choice.And when it comes,the plan that started it all almost fails because your father wanted power over others safety and she verbally desimates him for acting like it's your fault he's unlovable instead of his own actions' and the last straw is when he tries to do the thing he's doing to you to her and you loose any fear and what you say to him leaves him frozen like stygian ice in shock and you break her out while you still can and next thing you know you're side by side and back to back on the battlefield and eventually,you've won.She's the heroine of the Great Prophecy like you always thought and you're both so exhausted from all the fighting and mental strain that she just collapses on the floor of the currently empty Olympus throne room to catch her breath so you do the same on top of her and rest your head on your chest like you'd gotten into the habit to

He says sorry and that he could've been of more help and she says he did everything perfectly so he nods and they decide to sleep,not caring who they'll wake up to because they're both safe and together and that's what matters.I tried to hate you and i thought you hated me.Actually i loved you so much it was killing me and i still love you but now it's different because i know you've always been different,just like me.You're my opposite and we're two halves of a whole.You taught me how to be a kid again and you taught me how to forgive myself and see how amazing i am.You're a piece of my soul.I'd kill anyone who hurts you and i'm willing to prove it.I barely remember my mother but i know you treat me like she would've and you're everything i could've hoped to be when i was younger.I think i'll love you forever

#transmasc4transfem og dead sea siblings you are literally everything to me.the duo ever nobody can handle your power the realest ETCETERA!!! #nico and percy #nico di angelo #percy jackson #persephone jackson #trans nico di angelo #transfem percy jackson #black nico di angelo #black percy #latino percy #autistic nico di angelo #autistic percy jackson #goth punk nico di angelo #pastel punk percy jackson #disabled nico di angelo #team mom percy jackson #pjo #hoo #the anomalies #💌 #summerposting #sally jackson #black sally jackson #latina sally jackson #hades slander #persephone pjo #black persephone