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1a-imagines · 4 years

Text

No excuses

》 Bakugo x reader

》 Word count: 5k

》 Overview: You were childhood enemies who always ended up stuck together, you were neighbours, got put in all the same classes, ended up living together in the UA dorms. Overtime you grew to accept each others company, maybe even enjoy it. So what happens when your new work lives separate you for the first time?

Every day was lacklustre.

You weren't sure what; but something was missing. Ever since you went pro and moved into your own apartment you felt as though your life lacked something. There was an empty hole but you just weren't sure what used to be there.

Perhaps you just missed those simple UA days? Being surrounded with your friends day and night and not having to worry about all the things pro heroes had to worry about? There was no doubt it was a much less stressful time.

Or maybe it was the fact you no longer had your family breathing down your neck every second of the day? You were an adult now and that came with a whole new sense of freedom. Maybe what you were missing was being surrounded by your loved ones all the time? You lived alone in your new apartment and it was a big difference in contrast to the UA dorms you lived in for three years.

You thought you'd enjoy the quiet but it turns out you found the silence painful. It was more peircing to your ears than any yelling or screaming you had in the dorms.

No matter how much you wondered what was missing you just couldn't seem to place your finger on it. It's not like you weren't keeping in touch with your friends and family. They called everyday, you certainly weren't lonely. So why was your heart still yearned for something... maybe even for someone?

With a sigh, you dried the last plate of the bunch and put it away. Finally done with your chores for the day. You dried your hands and went over to check your phone that had been thrown onto the couch. You saw a text notification pop up.

Blastard: (1 new message)

Oi! Idiot! Are you dead yet? I haven't heard from you in weeks!

You couldn't help but chuckle at his unique way of showing worry, though it would be a lie to say you weren't used to it by now. It was such a typical Bakugo move. You shook your head before typing out a reply.

Bad news for you, I live!

You hit send before throwing your phone back down. You felt awfully giddy about him texting you, which was a strange feeling, usually you annoyed the hell out of each other. As weird as it was; it had been awhile since you'd last spoken to him.

Maybe you were just happy he hadn't completely forgotten you exsisted, you figured once you went your seperate ways that you'd probably never talk again; unless it was work related.

You had grown up together, always forced to be around each other no matter how much you despised it. You were neighbours, you didn't go to the same schools, but you'd always hear him yelling through the walls whenever he was home, you'd always pass each other when leaving your houses on the morning, and to your 10 year old self? There was no worse way to start off your day than his stupid face being the first thing you see when leaving your home.

It was like you couldn't get through a day without running into him at least once.

Then you both ended up in the same highschool, UA, which meant you walked the same route everyday as well as being in all the same classes. Then you lived in dorms together for three years, which meant you were around your childhood enemy almost every minute of everyday.

It was like the universe was trying to torture you both.

You hated each other as kids, always getting into scrapes and arguments, but as you got older the hate died down into more of a friendly rivalry. You bickered non stop but you also grew to enjoy all those comebacks and quick retorts, it was like a never ending game of 'who can make the best comeback/insult'. It even made you laugh at times.

Eventually, somewhere during your UA days, you both got to a point where you could actually admit you were friends.

But after being stuck together for so long? You'd think you would be happy to have some peace and quiet around here. You no longer had to deal with explosions going off or yelling every 5 seconds. No yelling from downstairs or next door, no insults or smartmouthed comments.

Though, even you had to admit he had matured a lot since you were kids, he still kept true to his grouchy self, but he was no where near as violent or bad tempered. He'd calmed down a lot as you grew into adults and you were proud of him for coming so far.

You were about to go take a bath to relax after cleaning all day, but when you saw your phone light up again you couldn't stop yourself from diving for it.

Blastard: (1 new message)

The fuck do you mean? That's not bad news for me dumbass.

It was a little weird for him not to give a snarky reply but it's possible hero work was tiring him out as much as it had been tiring you out. You were about to tell him it was just a joke but then another message came through,

Blastard: (1 new message)

Have you been eating alright? I know you can't cook for shit and you're living alone now.

Your eyes softened at the message, a goofy smile spreading across your lips. Not only had he made an effort to message you first, something he rarely did, but he also was showing care for you? Your cheeks heated up and you took a second to press your face into a pillow, a way to collect yourself before you replied.

Aw, you care about me?~

I've been eating fine! Instant ramen exists for a reason! It's for people like me who "can't cook for shit" :P

His next reply was almost instant, it scared you how quick your phone was to sound with another notification.

Blastard: (1 new message)

Don't fucking tell me you've been living off of instant ramen this whole time-

You felt too shy to admit to the truth. It was true you hadn't been eating great since you had been living alone. Your job was so demanding you didn't have time to cook. Choosing fast options over home cooked meals had been your way of living for the past few weeks and admitting to it felt like a punch to your pride.

Blastard: (1 new message)

That's it, I'm coming over to make you an actual meal tonight. See you at 6.

You did a double take at the response. There was clearly no room to argue.

"He's coming over!?" You jumped up in a panic at your sudden self invited guest. Lucky for him you had a rare night off work, and lucky for you, you had spent the day cleaning up. Maybe it'll look like you have this whole "adulting" thing down.

After glancing at the time and seeing it was only 4pm you threw your phone down. You needed to freshen up before he came over.

For some reason you felt this pressure to look good in front of him? But you had known him since you were little kids! He wouldn't care, he's seen you look much worse, so why did you care about looking good this time around? You shook your head, sick of all this over thinking and went to take a quick bath. Once you were done you dried your hair and threw on a fresh pair of clothes.

You felt excited to see him again and almost-... Nervous? It was a strange sensation, you shouldn't be feeling nervous to see him, you used to see him everyday. Maybe it was because this would be the first time you'd be spending time alone in your new home? Yeah, that must be it!

Glancing up at the time you still had half an hour until he arrived. You decided to take your mind off of all your swirling thoughts by mindlessly scrolling through your phone until your door bell finally rang.

You pushed yourself up with a small groan. You walked to your front door, your heart raced in your chest knowing who was on the otherside of the door. You took a deep breath through your nose before opening the door to see your familiar, scowling, friend. He stood there, a bag in his right hand and foot tapping on the floor as if he had been waiting ages for you to open the door for him.

"Kat! Long time no see!" You beamed up at him only for him to roll his eyes and brush past you. "Shut up and show me where your kitchen is, you need a proper meal."

You couldn't help but smile as you noticed the bag he carried was filled with fresh groceries. He was alway so bad with words but it was actions like this that made you see how much he really cared about you.

"Through there." You nodded your head toward an opening and followed him through after shutting the door. He put all the ingredients down and you leaned back against the counter watching him prepare the food. "What? No 'Hi Y/n, how have you been?' You cut right to the chase as always." You chuckled softly to yourself earning a glare from the blond as you attempted to imitate his voice.

"First of all! I don't sound like that! Second of all, I'm only here because you can't take care of yourself." He scoffed before adding. "Still annoying as always."

'Why was I missing him again?' You huffed, blowing some hair from your face in the process. "So! Chef! What are we having?"

"Curry." Was his quick reply as he began to lay out and cut up the ingredients. You hummed in delight at the thought of homemade curry. It had been a while since you had a good home cooked meal. Your family sometimes brought you leftover foods knowing how busy you were with work, but they couldn't come feed you everyday. You were an adult now and you needed to learn to cope on your own! Even with a busy career life.

"You remember what I like?" You asked, your eyes glimmering with an emotion he couldn't quite tell, in order to avoid looking at your face he kept himself busy with making dinner.

"I've known you for over 10 years, just because I haven't seen you for a few months doesn't mean I'm going to forget everything about you, idiot." He tutted, as if it was the most obvious thing in the world. You leaned back against the counter beside him, your lips twisted into a soft frown.

"A few months huh? It feels like longer..."

You did not intend for him to hear that but he did, and honestly? He agreed.

Without you around to annoy him every hour of the day, things just seemed to go by painstakingly slow. Without you his days were boring, and as much as he hated to admit it, your stubbornness, your quick remarks and sarcastic comebacks, as much as they annoyed him, they added a certain spice to his life.

They kept him on his toes, he liked the challenges you gave him, whether it was getting the last word, winning against you in training or just coming up with the best insulting nickname. He couldn't believe he actually missed it all, but he did, and honestly? This whole dinner thing had just been an excuse to see you again.

He missed you.

"Tch, feels like not long enough." He grumbled as he moved over to the stove to turn it on. You sent him a cocky grin, shifting your weight onto your other foot. "Oh yeah? Then why were you so quick to come over here?" You hummed, tilting your head. He knew you were teasing him, he could tell by the way the words melted from your lips like butter, you were practically purring as you grinned at him. It reminded him of a cat.

He decided not to dignify you with a repsonce and you took that as a sign of victory. You giggled before turning to grab a drink from the fridge. You cracked open a can of soda and upon hearing the unmistakable fizzing noise Bakugo's head shot around to you, his eyebrows creased together in distaste. "You shouldn't be drinking that shit!" He barked at you.

"Oh come on! I've cut right back on the junk food. Look!" You threw the fridge door open to display the variety of fruits and vegetables in front of him. "I've been really healthy! I've even been doing a lot more weight training! Soon I'll be as strong as you! Maybe even more so!" You smirked, he wanted nothing more than to wipe the smug look from your face. You shut the fridge door with your foot before taking another swig of your soda.

Bakugo scoffed, "You wish! You'll have to work a lot harder before you can even dream of matching up to my strength!" He sent you a toothy grin as he watched your shoulders deflate, eyes narrowing up at him.

Bakugo continued to put the chopped up ingredients into the pan, "Why have you been eating instant ramen this whole time if you have all that shit anyway?"

You turned your head away, cheeks flushing red with embarrassment. It took a lot to swallow down your pride enough to mutter the next words. "You know I can't cook very well." It was painful to admit you were an adult with the cooking capabilities of a child. Between school and work placements you just never found the time to practise new recipes. Not to mention the fact your family usually cooked a lot of meals for you.

You had contemplated practising some recipes in the past but something always manages to come up! You knew working as a pro was going to be hard, that you'd be busy every day, but you didn't know it would consume your life to this extent.

Without another word you walked towards the living room. "Let me know when dinner is ready!" You sent him a cheeky grin as you left. Bakugo turned back to the food, grumbling something about how he wasn't a damn slave, despite being the one who offered his services in the first place.

Looking around, he finally had time to take in the room, he hadn't seen it since you first moved in and bugged him and kirishima to help move boxes. The room was well decorated, not a thing out of place. Despite the apartment being pretty small you had done well to make it homely.

As he made the curry, he added in some spices and when he picked up the shaker labelled "Extremely hot", He smirked. He recalled the good ol' days in the UA dorms. He sometimes went out of his way to spike your food with hot spices. Your face was always priceless! The thought crossed his mind to do it again. After all, it wouldn't affect him, he loved spices and, unlike you, they didn't turn his face red.

He sighed before shaking his head. You were both grown up now, and you needed to eat a proper meal. He hated to even think about it but he did care for you. More than he would like to admit. He always thought once he went pro and finally got away from you, this "curse" you two shared of always being stuck together wherever you went would disappear, and he would be happy.

But he wasn't, somewhere down the damn line he has gotten used to your annoying presence, he had grown to like your quick remarks, how you never backed down from him, you weren't afraid to speak you mind or put him in his place, and as much as all those qualities used to bug the shit out of him as a kid, he had grown to respect them, even-... love them?

He clenched his teeth when he felt his cheeks heating up. God, he hated this. He wasn't cut out for this lifestyle! Why was he even here!? He could be out training! Not pining over his childhood enemy! The curry sauce started to bubble over in the pan and he cursed to himself, once again he was so distracted with thoughts of you that he couldn't concentrate on the task at hand!

He finished making the food, doing everything he could not to let his mind wander back to thoughts of you. He grabbed a few plates before putting the rice and curry onto them. He yelled through to you that the food was done, "I'm only in the next room! You don't have to yell so loud!" He huffed in amusement, your words were ironic considering your volume matched his. He smiled at your never ending bite, you always had something to say.

Such a smartass. He shouldn't enjoy it as much as he did.

You came through, throwing the empty soda can into the trash as you passed and sat down in the seat beside him. You hummed in delight, "Smells so good!!"

"Of course it does! I made it!" He grinned, taking a bite. While the lack of extreme spice was underwhelming for him, he knew you would like it. Your face twisted into distaste at his smugness, "I forgot to never stroke your fat ego."

He growled, ready to yell at you for the remark but when he saw you take the first bite of food his anger was forgotten.

Your eyes lit up like fireworks on a cold winter night. "I also forgot how crazy good of a cook you are!" You beamed, happily digging into the curry. His features softened, something about seeing you enjoy his food so much felt really good. He almost forgot to eat himself as he watched you stuff your face. You had gotten some rice stuck to your cheek as you shoveled the dish into your mouth. It was so stupidly cute, a soft smile graced his lips.

You caught him staring, it was rare to see him smile, no cocky grin or smirk, it was a real smile. Soft, relaxed, happy. You thought your heart was going to jump out of mouth. You did not expect that sight when you looked up from your food.

You gulped, not because there was food in your mouth, but because the atmosphere had suddenly changed. There was an invisible weight ontop of you both, crushing you.

"What…?" You asked quietly, hiding your face behind your hair. He snapped out of it, realising he'd been caught he froze, his heart skipped a beat. However, there was no time for him to get embarrassed because next thing he knew he was throwing a towel at you "You got rice all over your face, idiot! Wipe it off! You look stupid!"

You grumbled as the fabric hit your face, yet complied and wiped your lips clean. You went back to eating, this time more carefully so you didn't make a mess. You noted the mild spices but didn't comment on them. It was unusual for Bakugo to not fire up his dishes with spice. The decision to make the curry mild definately wasnt for his own benifit. He'd done it for you.

It made you smile, and as much as you wanted to thank him for it you figured he wouldn't want you bringing up his strangely nice gesture since he had been so silent about it.

During the dinner you talked about your new work lives, how you'd been coping living alone, anything that came to mind. Of course, that came with a variety of witty comments and snarky comebacks, but it was just how you liked it. It was how it had always been, how you always wanted it to be.

Once the plates were clean you stood up, reaching over to grab his plate so you could clean up but his hand shot out and grabbed your wrist. You paused, looking up to meet his eyes. "I'll help clean." He said, picking up his plate and taking it to the sink. You smiled, following him with your own plate.

"Wow, cooking and cleaning? Has anyone ever told you that you'd be a perfect house wife?" You smirked at him as he filled up the sink with soap and water.

"At least I can cook." He shot back without missing a beat. You laughed st the remark, nudging his side as you pushed your wasy in front of the sink. You continued to chat as you cleaned up, you washed as he dried.

As you finished up scrubbing the last dish Bakugo made a comment about you eating like a pig at dinner which, in return, made you splashed his face using soapy dish water.

He growled when he felt the droplets soaking his face and hair, but hearing your laughter made it hard to stay his usual, grumpy self. Instead he settled for dipping his fingers into the water and flicking you back.

Your face scrunched up, eyes closing to avoid any soap suds getting in your eyes.

You took his reciprocation as a declaration of war and it soon turned into a mini, kitchen water fight. Laughter filled the once quiet apartment as you fought each other.

For a moment it didn't feel like you lived alone, for the first time in months you felt like that empty space in your life had been filled again.

You had to stop the water fight before you soaked the kitchen as well as each other. As fun as it was you didn't want to have to clean up for the third time today.

Once all the dishes were put away and you dried yoursleved using a spare towel; Bakugo narrowed his eyes at the front door.

He wasn't sure if he should go, a part of him didn't want to. He only came over to make you dinner, now that was over he had no reason to stay. Should he make up some bullshit excuse to stay? He didn't want you teasing him again.

Despite taking a few minutes to think up an excuse to stay, he came up with nothing. Grumbling to himself he kicked his foot against the ground and turned around to you, ready to say goodbye.

His eyes widened upon landing on you, you held up two gaming controllers, a grin on your lips as you pushed one towards him. "Wanna try finally beating me at mario kart?"

"What are you talking about! I win all the time!" He rolled his eyes and snatched a controller from your hands, taking on your challenge. He felt the weight lift from his shoulders, you were giving him a reason to stay longer and he wasn't about to turn that down.

"You beat me at super smash bros! But never mario kart!" You backfired, plopping down onto the couch as the console fired up.

"Then let's play super smash bros!"

"We do not play that in this household!" You stomped your foot at the thought of the game you could never beat him at. Bakugo scoffed and sat next to you. "You're such a fucking sore loser!"

You forced a laugh before sending him a glare, leaning closer to him. You reaction must have amused him as he smirked at you. "I do not want to hear that from you!"

"Shut up and let's play!" The first round started up, the familiar countdown sound ringing in your ears. You'd like to say things started pretty civil, but It didn't take long for you to start shoving each other as you battled for first place. There was a lot of yelling, combined with a lot of laughter and cheering. It was the most lively your apartment had ever felt, in just one night Bakugo was able to change all of that.

A few rounds turned into hours. You didn't even notice how high up the moon was in the sky. You were too busy enjoying each other's company, having more fun than either of you had experienced in months.

You shot out of your seat pumping your fist into the air as you passed the finish line in first place once again.

"HAH! You still can't beat me!” You boasted.

The blond threw the controller down, his teeth clenched tight as he grumbled. “Next time I’m bringing super smash bros!” You sat back down, giggling as you poked his side. “Who's the sore loser now huh? Big baby.” You teased, poking a finger into his side, much like poking a bear with a stick, it was a recipe for disaster.

He growled and jumped to you grabbing your hands to keep them away from prodding him. You started laughing again, squirming and battling with him, determined to keep attacking but your giggle fit made it hard to fight back.

As you were laughing you missed yet another rare smile on his face. He didn't know what was going on with him, maybe he was just in a good mood today? He had taken down a group of robbers earlier when he was on patrol, and taking down villains always felt good.

All he knew was that he never wanted the moment to end, it was nice to hear your stupid laughter again, to see you smiling as you tried to match his strength and fight back. He hadn't even realised that some point during your play fight he had knocked you down onto your back and was hovering over you.

He had always been the stronger of the pair so you lost fairly quickly. His hands pinned yours beside your head. "That was a good fight you put up, but it's still not good enough to match up to me." He smirked down at you

You stuck out her tongue at him, panting as you tried to kick your legs at him. Turns out he had thought ahead and pinned those down too. You huffed through your nose, tasting defeat was bitter.

You stared at each other, as the laughter died down so did the playfulness. The atmosphere became serious. He wasn't sure what it was, but there was some sort of unspoken feeling between you both. He gulped, noting the way your hair was sprawled out on the couch beneath you, creating a halo of hair around your head. Your eyes shone as they stared into his, he had never noticed what a nice colour they were, and your lips- they looked so soft..

There was a pull, an invisible red string tugging you closer to each other and connecting your hearts.

But, you both ignored it. He got off of you and sat back. He ran a hand through his hair, you both avoided eye contact.

Looking out the window Bakugo finally noticed that the moon had long ascended into the night sky. Had he been here that long? God, it must be passed midnight but he felt like he had only been here for an hour. He shook his head and stood up, You watched him with parted lips, your heart racing at the tension.

What was that feeling between you two? It was so strong. Did he feel it too? It was sending your head into a spin.

"I should go." He muttered, he didn't want to go, he really didn't but the words were leaving his mouth before he had time to process them.

He had felt it too, and he didn't know how to react. He hadn't felt anything like it before, it made his heart race, he felt weak and he didn't like it. He knew he felt- something for you? But was it enough to call it love?

You looked up at him, giving him a nod, not like he could see since his back was already turned. You stood up, arms wrapping around yourself as you walked him to the door.

There were so many unspoken words between you. So many feelings left unexpressed. You bit your lip, voice caught in your throat as you watched him silently slip on his shoes. He opened the front door, pausing for a second, hesitating... "See ya."

"Bye." You replied as he closed the door behind him.

The appartment suddenly ran cold, silent, a chill running across your skin. The silence cut through your ears like a sharp blade.

You pulled your arms tighter around yourself. How could you deny it? Having him around again had been amazing, even if just for one afternoon. You despised him as a child, but over time, throughout highschool, through building a silent trust, a friendship had formed, and then-… and then somewhere down the line it turned into more.

No matter how much you tried to convince yourself otherwise, you loved being around him, you had a strong bond, you had watched him grow and become a better person, you had seen each other at your best and at your worst. You had fought each other but also fought with each other. You cared for each other, you annoyed the hell out of each other, you had been through so much together.

He had always been there, even if you didn't want him to be. You had hated him and you had loved him...

You… loved him…

Your eyes widened, "I.. love him." You muttered, saying it out loud made it all the more real. A feeling of wanting to slap yourself silly for being so blind overcame you.

You loved him! Of course you loved him!!You had always been so focused on school and work that you hadn't even noticed you were growing feelings for your childhood rival?

You couldn't let him go again! How many more months until you got to see each other again? You had always somehow ended up stuck together, it felt like he would always be there but now you had witnessed what life was like without him around… you hated it! For the first time in your life, you wanted him around.

You couldn't sit around in your lonely apartment each day now you knew you were in love with that jerk!

"God damnit! Why did it have to be him." You ran to the door and flung it open, not even thinking of shoes as you ran out into the cold night air. "Maybe he didn't get far-"

You rounded the corner before colliding with what you could only assume was a brick wall. You winced, pulling back and rubbing your nose. You looked up, coming face to face with none other than the man himself.

You stared at each other in shock, he came back for you too? This whole scene, these feelings, neither of you could have ever imagined this is where you would've end up.

"I need to tell you something!" You spoke in unison, making you both cringe.

"You first." He crossed his arms stubbornly, wanting to know you were on the same wave as he was and hadn't just ran after him because he left something.

You sighed, rubbing your arm, glancing away for a second to collect yourself. You hadn't thought this far ahead so you had no idea what to say. You sighed, looking up to meet his eyes, the best way would be to face your feelings head on. No going back! Even if he rejects you, at least he would respect you being blunt with it, he hated when people beat around the bush.

"I love you." You said, your head lifted high. His eyes widened at your bold declaration, his tense demeanour dropping. "I wanted to tell you before you disappear for months again. So there you have it, I'm in love with you. Believe me or not I don't care. I just- mmph!" Hands yanked you forward by your hips, smooth lips molded against your own when he head dipped down.

It took a few seconds to reciprocate, but when you did he pulled you closer. Your hands went to his shoulders to steady yourself, your legs felt weak, but that didn't stop you from kissing back.

You smiled into the kiss, you couldn't help it. Not only did the kiss feel great but the way he had pulled you in for it without wasting time with words was just such a Bakugo thing to do.

"I love you too, dumbass." He muttered when he pulled away, You let out a breathy laugh and shook your head. "You have such a way with words~"

"Shut up." You giggled at him before you went back in for another kiss, longer, holding more passion as your years of pent up feelings finally reached the surface. Your heads tilted and turned, hands roaming each other's bodies, his arms wrapped around you, his body heat protecting your bare skin from the chill of the night.

He backed you up agaisnt the wall. His tongue ran across your bottom lip, you weren't sure how long you had been standing there but it felt like you were the only two people in the world.

It was so late not another soul was to be see. It was just you, him and the city lights.

His hand ran down towards your thigh, only for you both to jump back when the distance sound of a car honking ripped through your serentity.

Panting as you stared at each other, almost not believing you had just msde out with each other. You pressed your fingers to your tingling lips. A smile on your face, "So- uh, wanna come inside for a bit?” the mischief in your eyes did not match the innocent smile on your face. He knew exactly what you were planning, "Fuck yes."

And there was no way he was going to turn it down.

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omg-im-such-a-masochist · 3 years

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⛽️ 🔥 FIRE AND GASOLINE 🔥⛽️ (PART 1?)

Prompt: Y/N’s life has changed drastically, precisely 10 years ago and all because of an adorable lunatic and two little maniacs. But what will happen when a divergency of thoughts leads Y/N and her lunatic to say some pretty harsh words, that they know they will regret it later?

Word count: Maybe too long?

Pairing: Jon Moxley (or even Dean Ambrose if that’s your liking) x Reader

Warnings: For now, just some cursing and angst

Notes: His time has finally arrived and I couldn’t be more nervous about it! This goes out to my sincerely unhealthy love for Jon Moxley and my mixed feelings about having kids (sounds like a good match right?). Y’all know the drill loves,sorry for misspellings,english isn’t my first language (bla bla bla),check out my other stories if you’d like to(it would make your girl here very happy 😊) and if you’re comfortable with it,please let me know what you think? Some feedback is always welcomed and appreciated ❤️You can check out my other stories typing ‘masochist writes’ on the search bar on my page and my newest story as a fixed post.Okay,now let’s get to the fun part,shall we? Hope you’ll enjoy 😉

A light smile formed on my lips as I watched through the kitchen sink window Atticus and Rosie play in the backyard as I did the dishes. I never thought that my life could change for the better with a 6 and 4 years old..and to think that I never thought of myself as the maternal type.

The plate I was rinsing off almost broke on the sink as my body jumped from fright, when a pair of hands embraced my hips

“Oh God, you almost gave me a heart attack! Are you crazy?”

“Not really, just a little lunatic..” He laughed “I’m sorry it wasn’t my intention to frighten you, but once I saw that ass kitten I lost my fucking mind! Just like I did 10 years ago...” His hands roamed on my hips until they reached my ass that he lightly slapped. “Did you miss me, cherry?” His lips glued on the nape of my neck

‘Cherry’ that lame ass nickname he gave me 10 years ago...and all because my cheeks go incredibly red when I blush or whenever the weather gets cold making a huge contrast against my pale skin.

“Of course I missed you! This house gets too boring without you in it” I lightly chuckled

“Is that the only reason why you missed me?” He grinds his bulge on my ass, as an insinuation to what he actually meant by that question

“Jon, the kids are outside...”

“I’m not doing anything, I’m just asking an innocent question kitten” He nibs my neck

I turn around to face him, placing my arms around his neck leaning in for a kiss. It started innocently, but Jon Moxley wouldn’t be Jon Moxley if things were kept innocent.

His hands reached the hem of my tank top, sliding in to meet my bare skin, he roams up til he finally founds what he was looking for.

“Fuck baby, I missed these” He whispers as he softly but firmly squeezes my breasts. As much as I would like to have some fun time with my husband it’s not ‘adult time’ yet, which meant the kids were still up. So no ‘dirty deeds’ for us just yet.

I took the little bit of sanity I still had and broke the kiss

“Jon, that’ll have to wait babe”

He sighs “C’mon Y/N is just a quickie kitten, the kids won’t even notice you’re not here..just a few pumps in, I swear!”

“The last time you wanted to give it just ‘a few pumps in’ I was birthing Rosie 9 months later” I reminded him

“So? We love each other, we’re an adult couple with a beautiful family and a lot of love to give” He nibs my bottom lip “What’s wrong with having another little maniac? I wouldn’t mind! We make some pretty fucking good looking kids, we should start practicing another one now” He vaguely said

Oh God not this again... This has been a pretty heated topic between Jon and I, he was always crazy about kids but I wasn’t very fondly of them. When I found out I was pregnant with Atticus I lost my mind! I wasn’t sure about the whole ‘mommy’ commitment for life thing, I didn’t even knew if I had one single bone of motherhood in me. That soon changed though when I first held Atticus on my arms, at that moment I knew my heart was sold to some stinky bum that would call me ‘mom’ for the rest of my life. Rosie was a surprise too, we haven’t even talked about the possibility of having another kid and I was already pregnant with her.

Right after that the baby factory was officially closed to me but not for Jon, he wanted at least two more kids and I didn’t, he had a bit of a trouble understanding that back then I didn’t even wanted my first one! I love my kids, I would die for them in a blink but that doesn’t mean that I eagerly look forward being pregnant every goddamn year.

Jon’s job doesn’t help either, with him constantly being on the road I do most of the raising when it comes to the kids. Of course he still is an amazing father in the short amount of time he is home but still, I’m the one who has to do the working, cooking, cleaning, give baths, put to bed, take to swimming classes, brazilian jiu-jitsu classes, dentist appointments, running to the emergency at 3am because one of them is suddenly sick while the other one sleeps at the emergency’s waiting room chair, wiping off their tears whenever daddy has to leave again..

“Jon, not this topic again, please” I beg

“What is wrong with me wanting to discuss having another baby with the woman that I love?”

“It’s not that simple Jon, I wish it was but is not” I said slightly angry

“Yes it is that simple Y/N! You’re the one who’s always trying to complicate things” He let go of my hips

Great! Now he’s angry too. That’s just what I needed!

“Jon look, I don’t want us to fight ok? You just got home and we all miss each other so why don’t we drop it for now huh?”

I tried to wave the white flag, but I should’ve known it wouldn’t work with Jon ‘The Stubborn’ Moxley

“Of course you want to drop it, it’s not of your interest is it? No it isn’t! You always do this! Whenever a subject doesn’t matter to you, you don’t wanna talk about it, you’re always so selfish! Always thinking about yourself, never once caring about me or what I want! Selfish as fuck!” He raised his voice

When people say that words can hurt more than actions they were right. If he had punched me in the face it wouldn’t hurt as much as the harshness of his words. To say that I am selfish? After everything I left behind just to be with him? That hurt! And instead of doing the adult thing and keep my mouth shut before I said something I knew I would regret it, I did the Y/N thing where I run my mouth with harsher words than he’s previous ones just so I could hurt him as much as he hurt me

“I’m selfish? Me? Oh you better place the mirror in front of your own face to find the definition for that word Jonathan! You are the one who gets to make your ‘wrestler life’ on the road, living like a single man with not even one worry on your mind while I get behind with two kids and all the shit that comes with the package! It’s easy for you to say it with your 15 minutes FaceTime parenting that you do! In the mean time I have to be the bad guy who has to always say no because glorious dad is on the road chasing his dream for when he gets home he will do all of his kids luxuries so he can try to compensate his absence with Barbie dolls and hot wheels cars! So yeah I’m the selfish one Jonathan, good thing you notice that” I regretted those words as soon as they fell from my lips.

Jon’s eyes briefly showed the hurt caused by them but he soon replaced that with rage and pride before lifting his head up to say

“And is thanks to glorious dad that you have this comfortable house, a nice car and a shit ton of food on your table sweetheart. Let’s be honest here Y/N, how are you supposed to support yourself and the kids with your shitty excuse for a salary? I wipe my ass with the pitiful money that you make” He huffed

I’ve never felt so humiliated in my life. Yes my paycheck was mere cents compared to his, but I worked hard for my money, I was proud to have my own money, to share the bills with him and was proud for not taking the easy path of relying on a rich man to support myself (like my dear old mother proudly did). So the fact that he took something that was so prideful to me and used to humiliate me, made me for once rethink all of our 10 years together and if it was worth it at all.

Tears threaten to fall from my eyes and Jon seemed to have realized what he just said as for he reached his hand to cup my cheek

“Kitten, I-“

“Don’t! Don’t touch me, I don’t want you anywhere near me” I said in between sobs

“Y/N please I-“

“Mommy, why are you crying?” I saw Rosie’s smile die on her lips once she saw me crying.

I heard Atticus’ fast footsteps coming by the french doors to stop by Rosie

“Yay, daddy’s home- Mommy are you ok? Why are you crying? Did you get hurt?” His small but smart baby blue eyes roamed my face and my body for any signs of physical hurt

“Yes stinker, mommy got hurt” I said trying to hold back my sobs

“Where? I can’t see anything” Those clever blue orbs that were a faithful copy of Jon’s roamed through me once more trying to find the injury

“Why don’t you guys come here and tell daddy how much you’ve missed him while mommy goes upstairs to clean up the scratch?”

They just nodded and ran towards Jon, who took them both in his arms

“Y/N” He started but I gave him a look that made him go silent.

I reached the safety of my bedroom, feeling the urgent need to run away. Run away from him, from this house, from this country. Taking with me only the clothes on my body and my two little beasties...the immature part of me yelled ‘do it, do it’ but the grownup in me knows I can’t do this. It’s not fair to the kids, they barely get to see their father whom they love and miss so much. It’s not fair to Jon either, he loves those kids more than he’s own life.

But right now I needed my safe place (or better, person), I needed to breath so I called her and when I received the ok on spending 3 days at her house I packed a small little bag with enough close for just those days, as I was zipping up the bag a faint knock came from the bedroom door soon after being followed by it opening.

“Kitten, can we talk- What are you doing?” He asked in urgency as he bursts into the bedroom approaching me.

“I’m gonna go to Nancy’s” I vaguely said looking at anywhere but him

“Nance? Your sister?”

“She’s the only Nancy I know, so yeah..”

“But why? I just got home, I wanna be together Y/N”

“It’s just for 3 days Jon..you’ll be with the kids, they need you and they miss you” My voice is a faint whisper

“But I need and miss you too! I want you here! How am I supposed to enjoy my family if it’s not complete? I’m sure we can figure it out whatever it is that happened earlier” He grabbed my shoulders turning me to face him and cupped my cheeks, tilting my head up to look me in the eyes.

“Y/N, kitten, I know that I’ve said some pretty harsh things to you earlier. I’ve been stressed out. It’s all my fault, I’m so sorry cherry. Please forgive me baby” He pressed his forehead with mine

That was typical Jon, always pulling the guilt towards himself, he has a hard time understanding that he was not always the only cause of a disagreement.

“Jon, we both said some stupid things ok? This is not all on you, love” I released myself from him, if he continued this close I wouldn’t resist, and right now I need to think.

“Yes it is Y/N. Me and my stupid fucking mouth, not you. You’re perfect kitten”

I scoffed “Trust me, I am not”

“Yes you are! Look at who I am now because of you, I stopped doing drugs, I’m not a drinking mess anymore, I eagerly look forward coming come because I know that the three pieces of my heart are waiting for me, look at what I’ve achieved, what you gave me, how you gave up everything and everybody to be with me”

Oh yeah,that.. my ‘high society family’ was not happy at all when they met Jon, they said that we were a very dangerous combination of fire and gasoline, that we would never be happy. I had two options they said, either them or him. I hated my family and loved Jon so it was a simple math. I left my house and all of the luxury behind to live with him in his ridiculously small one bedroom old apartment. The only person that I still talked to was Nancy my older and just as rebel sister, who gave everybody the middle finger and left the not so humble abode of my family never speaking with them again. So it made sense that the two rebellious black sheeps would become their own family, mine was Nancy and I was hers.

“Jon I need some time to think, we need it ok? Please, we both need to digest what we’ve said to each other. It wasn’t just a simple ‘fuck off’ we’ve said some pretty bad stuff so let’s just process this ok?” I beg

“Are you gonna leave me forever? Please don’t tell me you’ll want divorce because of this...I won’t handle it kitten” His voice was strangled by tears

“Jon-” I was thankfully interrupted by Rosie’s and Atticus’ screams of joy on the hallway as they ran towards our bedroom

“Mommy, daddy the movie is about to start c’mon” Atticus says as he jumps from excitement. They have been wanting to watch Moana for a while now, but only when daddy got home so he could watch it too.

“We’re going buddy” Jon fastly said

“Actually” I begin “Only daddy will watch the movie with you” It crushed my heart to see the disappointment on their faces

“Why?” Rosie asks

“Because auntie Nancy called and mommy’s gonna need to go and help her”

“Is auntie Nana in trouble?” Now it was Atticus turn to ask

“No stinker, she just need momma’s help with something, it’s nothing bad I promise”

“Can you go to Nancy’s after the movie?” Jon hopefully asks, he knows that the longer I stay the less likely it will be for me to leave.

The kids gasped at their daddy’s amazingly smart idea.

“Please mommy, please!” The kids started to beg as they kneeled down to make their begging really serious.

Jon kneeled down too, by my side. I looked at him confused and he just said

“Yeah mommy, please stay” He placed his hands on my hips “Please kitten, don’t leave me” He whispered

And now I have 3 pairs of incredibly beautiful and pleading baby blue eyes staring at me waiting for my answer.

What am I supposed to do?...

To be continued (?)

What do you think? Should this story continue? Would you like to see what will Y/N do? What would you do? Please let me know your thoughts, they are so very important to me and help me with my writing 💕🥰

#jon moxley #jon moxley one shot #jon moxley fanfiction #jon moxley x reader #aew one shot #aew fanfiction #dean ambrose #dean ambrose one shot #dean ambrose fanfiction #dean ambrose x reader #dean ambrose x oc #wwe imagine #wwe one shot #wwe fanfiction #jon moxley imagine #dean ambrose imagine #masochist writes

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sockparade · 4 years

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tips for surviving the pandemic: things i learned from my immigrant parents

It’s hard to believe that it’s only been a little over a week since the WHO announced that the coronavirus (COVID-19) was officially a pandemic. This has been a long, challenging week for a lot of people and it is nothing short of terrifying to read reports of what is happening in Asia and Europe as many predict that we’ll likely endure a similar fate here in the United States. In the midst of all of this chaos and uncertainty, I’ve been reminded of so many lessons that my Taiwanese immigrant parents taught me. I’m sharing them here so that others might also benefit. Thanks Ma. Thanks Daddy.

你昨天已經出去了.

“You already went out yesterday.“

1. Learn how to stay home. Our family is eight days into self-isolating at home and Tony asked me this morning if I had cabin fever. And strangely, the answer is no. I’m not. Not to downplay the difficulty of this moment but my experience with this “shelter-in-place” ordinance reminds of pretty much all my summers between kindergarten and 8th grade. Both of my parents worked full-time so summer was just three blissful months of nothing. No structure, no plans, no camps, no playdates, and no responsibilities. My parents never made me feel like I was missing a thing by staying home and I don’t remember ever feeling bored. There were always library books to read, stories to write, and thoughts to journal. Hours were spent playing school with my big sister (now a first grade teacher!), making up random games like who can avoid touching the carpet longest, learning Kim Zmeskal’s latest gymnastics floor routine, writing lyrics to Kenny G saxophone solos, and rehearsing for our variety show that we would perform to our tired parents at the end of the day. And that’s not even including the hours we spent watching The Price is Right, CHIPS, Knight Rider, and Airwolf (yep, no cable).

As a teenager I carefully plotted all my hangouts with friends so that I didn’t have too many consecutive days when I was out of the house. Whenever I asked my parents if I could hang out with friends, they would always say, “But you already went out yesterday. What’s wrong with staying home? Why do you always have to go out?” It was as if having too much fun two days in a row was off limits. If there was a big party on Friday, I would purposely make sure I stayed home Wednesday and Thursday just to increase the chances of being able to go out on Friday. I know a lot of people talk about how awful their high school years were but I was one of those lucky kids who had a really great group of friends that made me feel seen, loved, and cared for. The downside was that I couldn’t get enough of it. I was always thinking about the next hangout, the next event, the next thing. It took me all the way until my late twenties to fully appreciate the fine art of staying home and to finish my unexpected transformation into the expert homebody that I am today.

I’m reminded of that old quote by Blaise Pascal, “All of humanity's problems stem from man's inability to sit quietly in a room alone."

It’s great to be out and about, but it’s also really important to learn how to stay home.

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晚上要吃什麼？清冰箱.

“What are we eating for dinner?” “Cleaning the fridge.”

2. Be creative with what you have. I love food. Not in a foodie sense, but I get a lot of pleasure out of eating. I’m not a food snob by any stretch of the imagination. I thoroughly enjoy a Stouffer’s frozen lasagna or a peanut butter and jelly sandwich as much as I enjoy a fancy, inventive, Michelin-starred meal at Commis. What’s hard for me is when food is eaten as sustenance rather than with delight. But my parents taught me that you can always take pride in preparing a meal. No matter your ingredients.

My mom is an excellent cook. I know a lot of people think their mom is a good cook but my mom is legitimately skilled in the kitchen. There were some nights when I’d ask what was for dinner and my mom would just reply, “Cleaning the fridge.”

Now for some, this might sound terrifying. But my mom could honestly make something out of nothing. I still crave my dad’s simple egg and garlic fried rice. My parents raised me to be able to make an tasty meal just from rummaging in the pantry and fridge for random leftover things. There were plenty of summers where lunches and snacks were an individual culinary adventure for each of us kids. I still remember the day I witnessed my baby sister add a Kraft single on top of her onion ramen noodles. She saw my confusion, shrugged and said, “You should try it, it’s good.”

With all the hoarding folks have been doing during this pandemic, I’ve found myself feeling quite anxious. Trying to calculate if we have enough food. Estimating how many more meals we can eat at home before we need to make another grocery run. As someone who struggles with a scarcity mentality it has been hard not to panic. But then I keep reminding myself that I know how to make good food using just whatever’s available.

You know, I was pretty disappointed with Mary H.K. Choi’s second novel, Permanent Record, given how much I enjoyed her debut novel, Emergency Contact. But I was absolutely thrilled with the shine she gave to what her protagonist calls “Hot Snacks”.

Here’s an excerpt from Permanent Record that is a beautiful ode to creative food mashups and immigrant kids everywhere:

“I edit and post a Shin Ramyun Black video set to music. My favorite instant noodles with three flavor packets and so much garlic. It’s a classic Korean HotSnack, especially when you throw in cut-up hot dogs, frozen dumplings, extra kimchi - and this is where the artistry comes in- eggs, cheese, corn from a can, and a drizzle of sesame oil on top. And furikake if you’re feeling wealthy. The next night I put up a bacon, egg, and cheese not in a bagel but in a glazed honey bun. Laced with sriracha and pan fried on the outside. Then it’s chilaquiles with Spicy Sweet Chili Doritos and chorizo. Jamaican beef patty casserole disrespected with a smothering of Japanese curry and broiled. With Crystal Hot Sauce over the top and pickled banana peppers. I’m trolling with that one but the controversy is berserk. When I run out of old videos, I make saag paneer naanchos with Trader Joe’s frozen Indian food, and it’s a hit. Especially when I add yogurt and a thick layer of crushed-up Takis on top.”

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看連續劇.

“Watch soap operas.”

3. Find a way to escape. I’m generally pro technology but I’ll admit I’m a little bummed at the way iPhones and iPads have made TV viewing such an individual activity. I like how Disney+ has gotten some families back to watching TV together again. Although I will say, we really coddle our kids these days. I grew up in a time when movie ratings only applied in the theaters and we watched movies with our families like Alien, The Fly, and Gremlins. We were scared out of our minds and sometimes could only watch through the cracks between our fingers covering our eyes because it was so scary. Okay, this also might be why I can’t watch horror movies as an adult.

From a young age, my parents taught me that watching other people’s drama unfold on screen is one of the best way to escape your own drama. Some people say binge watching became a thing when the TV networks started releasing shows on DVD. Others give credit to Netflix releasing their original content a whole season at a time. But truth be told, I first learned how to binge watch from my parents.

We would rent 30-40 VHS cassette tapes from that random spot in Bellaire Chinatown. Can you picture it? You needed multiple plastic bags to transport that many VHS tapes.

Do you remember the one about the dying mother who needed to find homes for each of her 7 children? I don’t think it’s normal for a 10 year old to cry so much but you better believe it’s made me learn the true value of a soap opera escape hatch.

Are you in a pandemic? Now’s the perfect time to pick up that YA novel, binge that reality show, start that kdrama, or rewatch all six seasons of The Sopranos again.

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下個禮拜會下雨.

“It’s going to rain next week.”

4. Be informed about what’s ahead. If you ask either of my parents about the weather at any given time they can reliably tell you the daily percent chance of precipitation and humidity for at least seven days out. They’ve always been this way. They would inform me of the weather at various points throughout the week. They planned their yard work and car washes around the weather forecast. There’s something about the way the weather forecast is available to everyone. And it feels like it’s just a matter of making the small extra effort to access it and gain a slight advantage. I feel like so much of the immigrant mentality is to be diligent in making the right choices to not screw yourself over and seizing opportunities whenever you can. And it wasn’t just weather but this is such an obvious example of it.

I remember my dad saying to me once, "Can you imagine if someone decided to read every book in their local library? If they just went shelf by shelf and systematically read all the books? You could do it, you know. It’s free, it doesn’t cost any money to check out a book from the library. But no one really does it.”

I think immigrant parents get a bad reputation for forwarding chain letters and health/science hoaxes they get on email, WeChat and Line. And in a pandemic, yes, they are definitely susceptible to misinformation, rumors and flat out untruths. But the thought behind it seems right.

The mistrust of government leadership is actually quite relevant right now in this pandemic. Many immigrants left countries with governments that were overtly corrupt, oppressive, and used propaganda to influence its citizens. And while many Americans still take pride in living in a country that verbally champions freedom and democracy, the truth is that our government has already failed us and lied to us in many ways. During this pandemic, we cannot wait on leaders to tell us what to do. We must be diligent in reading for ourselves, seeking experts, using our critical thinking skills, and making preparations accordingly.

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會不會冷?

“Are you cold?”

5. Check in with yourself. Check in with others. I have so many memories of my parents walking through the living room and asking me and my sisters if we were cold. It felt like they couldn’t walk past the thermostat without asking us if they needed to raise it or lower it. As if they couldn’t hear us sneeze and wonder if they needed to turn off the ceiling fan. They couldn’t see us sitting in a dim room without turning on a light for us. There are so many times I fell asleep reading on the couch and woke up with a blanket over me. Or sometimes I was fully awake doing something random, like playing Egyptian Rat Screw with my sisters (a cardgame for the uninitiated), and my mom would walk by and wordlessly drop a warm, heavy blanket over my shoulders. That’s care, y’all. Consistent, immediate action, and often without words.

The tip here is to pay attention to your discomfort during a pandemic. There’s this immigrant stereotype of stoicism and that’s true to some degree but maybe the resilience is made possible not because of unnatural toughness but largely because immigrant parents can also be so incredibly perceptive and tender in some very tangible ways.

When everything is chaotic around you and you’re busy multitasking these next few months, don’t ignore your needs. Notice how you’re feeling. Physically and emotionally. Where are you carrying your stress and tension in your body? You don’t have to tough it out. Oh and remember to check in with your people on how they’re feeling. Is there a light switch you can turn on for someone?

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笑死人.

“Laugh to death.”

6. Laugh to survive. Look, we didn’t have the perfect family or anything like that. We’ve definitely had our share of difficult times, financial stress, health issues, arguments, and pain. But my parents also really knew how to laugh and taught us to laugh with abandon. Like, bent over, tears running out of your eyes, can’t breathe kind of laughing. Our dinner table was kind of like a writer’s room. It was difficult to tell a mediocre story. You had better come prepared with a punchline or a point. It was a tough crowd, every night. On many occasions I stopped myself halfway through a story upon the self-realization that there was no real way to land the plane. Polite laughs were nowhere to be found, except perhaps a charitable smile from my baby sister. But it didn’t stop us from trying. I think my sisters and I are all probably better storytellers for it and we definitely have learned to try to bring humor into difficult times.

I know that this pandemic is so incredibly dark and depressing that it can sometimes feel disrespectful, inappropriate, or childish to laugh at anything. But my parents taught me that you laugh to survive. Nothing is ever so dark that you can’t find a reason to laugh. And sometimes you really need to find something to laugh about.

I’ve been taking long breaks each day from major media news outlets but I have been finding such joy and laughter from the meme creators on IG and the comedic geniuses on Twitter. In Taiwanese when something’s really funny, people will say a phrase that is imperfectly translated as laugh to death. Like you killed a person it was so funny. Now’s the time to find that content or those people who will get you to laugh to death.

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我要去挪車.

“I’m going to go re-park the cars.”

7. Go to bed with a plan for the next morning. I grew up in a suburb of Houston, Texas where one property developer built the entire neighborhood and used the same eight or nine floor plans for all the houses but changed up the brick and trim color to keep things interesting. Most homes have a long driveway that connects a garage set near the backdoor of a home to the street. By the time I was driving, we had four cars in total -- two in the garage and two on the driveway. At the end of the day when everyone was home for the night and my dad was getting ready to go to bed, he’d announce, “I’m going to go re-park the cars.” Then we’d all kind of stop what we were doing and rearrange the order of the cars to match our morning departure schedules. This meant figuring out who was leaving when in the morning and sometimes also prompted brief check-in conversations about any changes in our usual routine.

In a pandemic it can sometimes feel like there are a million different things to attend to and large conceptual concerns that demand your attention. But there’s something calming and centering about spending a few minutes each night thinking through specifically what needs to happen just tomorrow. Not the day after or next week. Get super tactical and specific about what tomorrow morning looks like. Check-in with your partner about any aberrations to your schedule (e.g. I have a super important conference call at 7am tomorrow) to minimize any unnecessary surprises. There’s something magical about setting up your morning that helps you rest just a little easier at night.

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星期三我們有禱告會.

“On Wednesdays we have prayer meeting.”

8. Make time for your spirituality. Growing up my parents both had physically demanding jobs. My mom was a seamstress for many years, providing alterations at my aunt and uncle’s dry cleaners. She later worked in an elementary school cafeteria and then eventually became a classroom aide for special needs students. My dad worked at that same dry cleaners for years until he got a job at the post office. He then became a letter carrier, delivering mail on foot. The summer months were especially grueling, carrying a heavy sack of mail in 100 degree, humid weather, and walking until sweat soaked his shirts and blisters formed on his feet. They had every excuse to skip weeknight events. But unless they were sick in bed, I can’t remember a time when they missed their weekly prayer meeting with their friends from church.

Pandemics have an unsettling way of forcing us to confront our mortality and can trigger a bunch of unresolved shit that has been bubbling underneath the surface. We’ve lost some of our usual coping mechanisms and it can be super hard to quiet the anxieties, fears, and other demons that we usually try to keep under control. This isn’t a lecture about a particular faith or belief system. It’s just a reminder to prioritize your existential questions, your interior life, and your connection to things much bigger than yourself -- whether that’s a community, a yoga practice, a faith group, a tradition, or something else.

I have a fledgling meditation practice that I’ve been trying to strengthen since last year. When I say fledgling I mean that sometimes I bail before the ten minutes is up and check my phone. Even though I’m not very good at it yet, I can really tell the difference on the days that I make time for it. Our church started hosting its weekly Sunday service online and that’s challenging for me because a church service feels like it’s designed to be so much about the physical rhythm of going to a place, seeing faces of people I love, hearing their voices co-mingling with mine in song and in prayer, and tasting the bread and wine in my mouth. The online service was short, and just for viewing through a zoom conference call, but there was still something meaningful about setting aside that time Sunday morning, asking our wiggly kids to be present, and saying the liturgy out loud knowing that in homes all across the country, other people are doing the same.

If things are really going to get as bad as some are predicting, we’ll need the spiritual strength to make it to the other side. Those habits are hard to form overnight. My parents taught me that you really have to make the time for your spirituality non-negotiable, so that you won’t abandon it when it’s inconvenient or when you are too tired.

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沒辦法.

“What choice do we have?”

9. Rise to the occasion. Whenever my parents are telling old war stories about things they had to do to get to where they are today, inevitably one of us will say, “Man that’s crazy, how did you manage to do it?” And instead of pointing to some super personality trait of theirs or some complex self-help principle, they always say, “We had no choice.” It’s not said in a defeated way, but in a posture of accepting that life can be cruel, unfair, and capricious. And that it’s not helpful to dwell too long on the why’s and how’s. My parents taught me that you can’t stay in despair mode. You eventually have to push yourself into problem solving mode and you do whatever it takes to move forward.

This coronavirus is so unlike anything we’ve ever experienced in our lifetime. It is so unprecedented for me that my brain is having a hard time processing the reality of what’s happening right now and the rest of my lived experience. I spent the first few days of this week just being overwhelmed, anxious, angry, and irritable. At this point though, I’m in go mode. I’m doing what needs to be done for our family and taking care of business. What choice do we have? I can hear my parents saying it. One day, if we’re lucky, we’ll say it to our kids too.

#coronavirus #immigrants #immigrant parents #survival tips #advice #covid-19 #pandemic #childhood #lifelessons

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pietersetm · 4 years

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BILL SKARSGARD, 24, CIS-MALE, HE/HIM ⌡ welcome back to gallagher academy, SILAS PIETERSE! according to their records, they’re a THIRD year, specializing in “MACGYVER” SURVIVAL SKILLS & NAVIGATION; and they DID NOT go to a spy prep high school. when i see them walking around in the halls, i usually see a flash of (the sound of motorcycles passing, grease stained hands, veins made prominent, a scar under his right eyebrow, lipstick on his collar). when it’s the (libra)’s birthday on 10/22/1995, they always request their REUBEN SANDWICH from the school’s chefs. looks like they’re well on their way to graduation. ⌿ kara, 26, she/her, est

+ south jersey had its charms. or rather, it didn’t. but it had silas. and silas had charm. learned charm. so as far as south jersey was concerned, it had that going for it. + his upbringing felt more like that of a tv characters’ than a real life person’s. on the tv it’s interesting and fascinating and fun and cool and different. in real life it’s just outlandish and provocative and unsafe and questionable. + si’s dad picked up ladies around him since the time he was an infant. he’d been around many scenes he probably shouldn’t have been involving the use of, trade of, and sales of sex and drugs. + growing up poor means not having tools like therapy to identify your trauma. + even if he or his family could afford therapy, it wasn’t something that would be prioritized. things like that were frowned upon in silas’ world. men were told to toughen up and tough it out. so he did. + on the bright side, though also unconventional, silas grew up around motorcycles. he’s pretty sure that common thread between he and his dad saved both their lives. they didn’t talk much unless it was about business or roughriders. + the complete opposite of his everyday world is his mother’s everyday world. she married up, moved to a nicer part of jersey, lived in a nice home, one with stairs. yeah, one level homes are nice, but stairs meant another level, it meant the house was bigger and the bigger the house the better your finances look to the outside world and therefore your status went up with it. + she tried to get silas to go stay with her, go to school in her district, but he politely declined, knowing that the roughhouse riders would have something to say about it if he did. + pride came with biker gangs. they were proud to wear their leather jackets with the fancy jackets on the back. it was the one thing they would splurge on. everyone pitched in. + when you’re family, you’re family, which meant that silas was allowed to join the biker gang young. obviously he couldn’t spend all of his time with them being a kid and having school and whatnot, but he would go with his dad every sunday. he looked forward to it every single week. + initiation took a toll on silas’ mental health and stability, made him question his morals and also left him with a black eye to match his jacket. if you look closely, there’s a scar below his right eyebrow from the ring of the fist that hit him. + stella, head of the roughhouse™, took an interest in silas. he was fulfilling all the duties that came with being the newest initiated member of the roughhouse™, sure, but he didn’t remember hearing about anyone else going to stella’s. especially not inside of stella’s. the two talked like he hadn’t with the others, hadn’t with... anyone. he considered her as more than just a leader, but maybe even his best friend, his family. + inside of stella’s is where silas met addison nudge ritter. at first, silas thought she was just “stella’s grand daughter,” but he was wrong. nudge became his best friend. his soft spot. they quickly begin sharing every single one of their days together. he takes her to his mother’s and they make fun of the fancy people in the area while going home to heating in the winter and home cooked meals at a fancy set dining room table. it took a long time for him to open up to nudge about that part of his life and he trusts her to keep it a secret from the rest of the gang. except for with momma stella because whether nudge knew or not, stella was bound to. she was omnipotent that way. + refusing help from his mother, silas fell into the same routine as his father, doing all of the same things that he did, but this time not in front of a little kid. he manipulated others, he satiated his needs by sleeping around but never spending the night, he took every opportunity to make money, illegal or not, and get this: it was always illegal. + the kinds of jobs people need to turn to the roughhouse for are not the kinds you can hire just anyone for. so the roughhouse slummed it with certain jobs and upped the keeps in others. they had a reputation in south jersey and it was as tough as the brooding look silas was taught to wear at a young age. + these jobs ranged from distributing drugs, transporting them, beating people up, leaving them unconscious in certain areas to frame people, and eventually when there were living, breathing people left half dead at silas’ hands, he ended up in blackthorne, which he found to be more of a new age government prison sentence than a university experience. + silas does as he’s told when he’s told to do it and next thing he knows he’s being rewarded kinda by going to gallagher. + the real reward is running into nudge again. they pick up right where they left off. only this time, there’s a boyfriend on her end and a secret on his. did he need the boyfriend’s approval to get in with nudge or did the boyfriend need silas’ approval to stay with her ? he hoped neither were true because while he wasn’t a good judge of character, a good judge of character probably wouldn’t keep silas around, especially not a spy that could look into silas’ past and find out all of the things he’s done, including what landed him in blackthorne. + what happened pre-blackthorne remains in a metaphorical vault, locked up to keep himself safe, others safe and because if he admits it happened, it’ll fuck him up for good. + silas is hanging on by a thread as is. he’s having sex and punching things just to feel things. now he has to pick a major and redefine his biggest life regret as a win, but as good of a liar as he might be to others, he’s not sure he can keep up the charade with himself but what would happen if it all fell apart and he came unraveling at the seams ? + at the very least, silas knows his alibi is rock solid. + he’d always enjoyed movies growing up, but seeing movies was a luxury that his father’s lifestyle didn’t offer them, so movies in theaters were few and far between until his mother married again and into a richer situation. + whenever he couldn’t hang out with nudge, he’d always say he was seeing a movie. to make up for it, he would take her to the movies with him at least once a month or every couple months, proof of his being a movie buff. + even when he was in a job rather than a movie theater, he would pick a movie, buy a ticket and read a synopsis to give nudge later. it felt worthwhile, having something solid to bring to court should he ever need it. plus, his jobs always paid enough to cover that ticket and then some. + in this fashion, silas began becoming a collector of sorts. a collector of movie knowledge and a collector of tickets. he kept every stub. every single one. because you never know how far down the line things will get brought back up. he needed proof of where he was and when. his tickets provided him that security. + so he took it a step further and kept every ticket. the ones that were not cover ups, too. the ones for concerts. the ones for carnivals. ok, to be fair it was pretty small for a “collection” and some of them were not bought by him, but maybe by females attempting to buy his attention with experience. + silas always found it a bit ironic that the word “admit” was on some types of tickets as if trying to heed a confession out of him. “admit one.” he’d consider the deed done, having admitted just one thing, if he were to ever come clean to nudge about what happened, or rather, to anyone.

#intro #gallagher:intro

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og-danny-dorito · 5 years

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SpiderMan Noir Headcanons

S F W:

- he gets very flustered very easily, but he's good at hiding it. for instance, of you say something to compliment him he'll just blush up and cross his arms, quietly thanking you for the compliment and seeming like he doesn't care much. but under that mask his face is bright red and his mind is racing

- since he has such bad eyesight (he's near sighted) he can really barely see without his glasses, so he ends up getting very nervous when he can't find them in the morning. like his eyesight is so bad that if he tries to look at something without the mask it's just a blur of mixed colors and light and he can't make out anything

- this causes him to actually have lenses specifically for his eye type in his mask, rather than having a pear of bulky glasses underneath. it's more tactical that way (can't punch nazis if you can't see em)

- he doesn't actually take a lot of time to do his hair in the morning, surprisingly. while his hair isn't extremely neat and he takes pride in how cleanly cut it is, he ends up not having the time to actually do it. he's either rushing out or the door to work or rushing to stop some crime that's been happening that requires urgent assistance. this also means that he barely ever eats breakfast, and when he does he ends up just stuffing it in his face before running out of the door

- with an s/o I'd imagine he'd try to regulate this so he can eat breakfast with them in the morning, but that almost never happens and he ends up coming home nearly exhausted and ends up just eating dinner with them instead

- on the rare occasion he does get to spend some quality time with them though, he makes the most of it by giving them ALOT of affection. quite honestly he appreciates them, even though he thinks he doesn't do a good job of showing it sometimes. he's young but he's always busy

- normally peter’s a pretty clean guy, and so if he's on a patrol he doesn't exactly get hurt a lot, but he's not invincible. most of the time he ends up coming home at 3:00 am with his side bleeding or some of his clothes ripped, resulting in you having to haul out of bed to stitch him up. honestly you should have a medical degree by now from how many times he's come home needing stitches

- since his timeline takes place during WWII, it's safe to assume that he's nearly an expert on being conservative. no, I don't mean conservative as in run-of-the-mill dude in the southern hills, I mean conservative as in repairing nearly everything. seriously, he doesn't want to have to spend money on new clothes and so he just resorts to repairing everything

- this means that socks, shirts, even things that have just grown old with time are usually mended up and fixed in no time, earning him nearly expert stitching skills. he's even sewed a few things! (even though he ended up forgetting about them entirely and denying he ever made them once you'd find them)

- idk where I found the pic, but I saw this art of noir smoking and I was like 👀 interesting do you mind if I take that concept dear sir/ma’am/unspecified-gender-person (actually wait i found it https://mobile.twitter.com/kookirani/status/1082319828247994369)

- yeah, he smokes, I know that's craaaaazy

- it's mostly a coping mechanism, in all honesty. on the contrary he wouldn't know that its kinda dangerous though, since smoking was deemed as dangerous in the late 1950s and WWII took place during the late 1930s-1940s. so yeah, to him it's totally normal (a lil bit of facts there for y'all)

- a lot of the time you'll be able to find him standing on the balcony with a cigarette between his lips, his shirt off for the bandages and other things to get some air as he tries to ease into his own comfortability and think over what he could've done better over the past patrol. it's almost like an assessment of sorts

- speaking of not having shirts on, he's about 5″10 and has a sorta muscular build. obviously his shoulders a broad, and so he really look so like a grown ass man with his deep voice to accompany his aesthetic. he's got a lot of scars as well from previous accidents, such as one on his lower torso from being stabbed while breaking up a street fight and one on his knee where he accidentally flew into a wall. but while he may seem rough and hardened on the exterior, he's got a few weaknesses that prove that he's really just a kid wearing a suit (he's 19 btw)

- on an angst level, he's too compassionate for his own good. for instance, he doesn't kill, but finds it right in his mind to offer redemption to his opponents while still defending the weak and helpless, just as he once was. while he's not a complete pushover obviously he does help people a lot out of the mask. people are struggling during these times, and the women and families that need his help are still out there and around him (it's WWII, shits not great)

- this means that he frequently fixes things for neighbors when they can't afford a repairman, comforts kids who lost their mothers in the crowded streets of Queens, defends minorities both with and without the mask, and so on and so forth. overall he's just a nice guy with a strong sense of justice, and doesn't mind to occasional scrape or so on his knees if it means protecting the people he cares about without even meeting

- peter ends up getting a little...reckless because of this though

- when that's said, that's means that he will literally jump in front of a bullet for anyone. even if it gets him hurt. he's selfless, and a lot of the time he's hurt because of it. but telling him that he can't possibly save everyone is pointless

- “"So what? I should stop trying just because I can't help everyone? That means helping no one gets the same results. I'm not gonna watch people drop like flies cause I can't save the world.”

- yeah angsty as fuck, but he means it. his words come out harsh, but he tries to apologize for being so rough

- “"I'm sorry, I just...” He'd pause. “"I can't watch it anymore. I'm not a bystander. I won't be a bystander.”

- and with that he'll pull you into a hug and just hold onto you tightly, almost as if you'll fade away and leave him if he doesn't

- you're part of him, and you might be on earth of the only things keeping him safe. you're the representation of the good he protects, and god help him I feel he ever fails at something to simple

- anyway that's enough angst let's talk about LIVING with him :3

- it's the little moments that mean the most to him, in all honesty. he doesn't even need you to be the domestic one really, since he views you both as a team rather than husband and housewife

- he usually does most of the cleaning and cooking though I'd imagine since Aunt May taught him to clean up after himself and respect his and everyone else’s space. you going out and getting groceries or just cleaning the clothes for him is enough, so if you're one to typically work around the house more often and take the time to make sure everything's is perfect, he'll partially thank heaven they sent you to him and feel a lot like he's slacking on his part

- he likes to pamper you, give you gifts. expect a bouquet of flowers almost every Friday when he comes home, his smile wide on his face as he professes his love to you through a bunch of cheesy one-liners

- but he also likes to be taken care of and pampered himself, although he never admits it. once again anything small makes him happy, so if you go all out he literally can't stop thanking you. washing his hair, cooking for him, making him things, he loves everything, and appreciates the thought behind it

- to be honest I'm sure he's not really attracted to a certain body type in particular, it's your kindness that infatuated him. generally polite, kindof shy people just make him that much more enamoured, but he likes someone with a good head on their shoulders and a strong sense of justice and morality just as much (if not more)

- if you were a crime fighter, peter would be absolutely enamoured with you. he knows you can hold up your own better this way, and that you don't really need that much protection. he prefers to work alone, but if he has to work as a partner with anyone it'd be you and ONLY you. no third wheels

- but this comes with a downside; peter gets extremely worried when you get injured. he knows better than anyone that it's really just part of the job, but his heart can't help but stammer a little when he sees a bloody lip and bruises all over. you bet your ass he’ll take care of whoever hurt you asap if you haven't yourself

- you hurt his s/o your ass is grass m8

- he also doesn't get really jealous, but if someone is hitting on you he feels not worthy enough or just angry in general

- he usually needs a lot of reassurance, maybe a hug or a kiss after he gets particularly emotionally exhausted. he likes to sit in silence a lot, either thinking or just watching you as you do chores around the house or watch tv. he loves you a lot, and he could watch you just absentmindedly talk about your day or your friends for hours

- really random btw, but this dude can sing. he doesn't think it really necessary so he doesn't outwardly flaunt it, but when he's listening to a song he likes it's easy to catch him humming along to the tune or singing the chorus. it's deep, breathy, right on the verge of raspy almost, and his eyes seem calm when he does

- usually he really only listens to jazz and swing, so you can listen to him using his voice perfectly when the singer over the radio hits a particularly complicated note. if you catch him in the act though he'll immediately blush up, his whole face turning red as he stutters out something to say

- you'd take his hand, grinning, asking him he'd want to dance with you as you smile up at him widely. he agrees, letting his body press to yours as you slow dance around the kitchen, living room, etc. his head will drop to your shoulder, inhaling your scent as he sings softly to you and sways gently from side to side, sharing a moment of wordless emotion that you both understand, share, and relish in. he’ll kiss you, letting his hands fall to your waist loosely to grip you as yours to his shoulders in a sort of grounding gesture. and so you dance, sharing a quiet waltz as lovers in the comfort of your modest home

- all in all, he loves you, too much to where you'd ever imagine. he's not exactly the most sensual, yeah, but that doesn't mean he won't try. you mean the world to him, and he'll go through hell and back just to keep that smile on your face and those eyes bright

( for https://zovatm.tumblr.com/, love you bro <3

- Ya Boi 🖤💜💛)

#spiderman noir #spiderman #into the spider verse #headcanons #peter parker #peter parker headcanons #noir #spiderman noir headcanons #noir headcanons #spiderman noir imagine #headcanon #imagine #peter parker imagine #peter #marvel #mcu #earth 90214

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silverncrimson · 4 years

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The Atonement of a Daughter

( s e l f p a r a }

May 10, 2020 / Mother’s Day 10:30pm Cemetery

It was eerily quiet that night. And it would have been creepy under any other circumstances, given the location, but at this very moment Diamond wasn’t afraid. She couldn’t muster that particular emotion at this time as her entire being was already overwhelmingly flooded with another.

That of sorrow...or remorse. Either worked, really.

She had stopped by the cemetery once already that day to visit her mother’s grave, but she’d been with her brother and sister the first time around and while she’d readily agreed to go with them...it had honestly been something she’d wanted to do on her own. It was the first time she’d actually come to visit since her mother was brutally killed all those months ago - and before today, she hadn’t been able to bring herself to go. To see the place where her mother was buried, put to rest for eternity, forever. Going with Marcel and Logan earlier in the day had been tough, to say the least, but she hadn’t been able to fully express herself like she’d wanted to - she hadn’t wanted to break down in front of her older siblings. They’d likely seen her cry enough as it was, and it was clear that they had needed this visit just as much as she did, and she hadn’t wanted to ruin it for them by breaking down completely.

But now here she was, kneeling in front of her mother’s tombstone, the flowers she and other two had brought earlier laid out around her. Diamond’s head was bent, chin all but touching her protruding collarbone, and her eyes were closed as she sobbed her heart out, the only sound present in the cemetery currently. Her chest heaving violently as she gasped through her tears...finally, after all these months, allowing herself to properly grieve.

“Mama,” she choked out watery, sounding remarkably like the young, wounded child that she was, despite her age of twenty-one. She reached out to lovingly caress the grass beneath her - it was the closest she’d get to touching her mother ever again, and acknowledging that broke her heart into a million pieces all over again. “Oh, mama...I m-miss you so - so much. Just...So much. We all do - all of us - Uncle Zane, Uncle Billie, S-Sloan, Zoe, Marcel, Alex and Logan...and m-me...Just, all of us,” she cried, unabashedly letting the tears run down her face in a heavy, steady stream and onto the soil below. “It’s been so hard without you...We’ve all been so lost...”

Opening her eyes, which glistened in the darkness of the night with her tears, her hazel eyes took in the words on the tombstone, from her mother’s name and date of birth...to her date of death...

FUCK.

She quickly snapped her eyes shut again with a wet-sounding grasp, and her mind was quick to flash back to the night that her mother was murdered brutally before her eyes. Before her family’s eyes. The shock that had gone through her body as it registered in her brain what had happened; the scream that had tore itself from her throat. The pandemonium that ensued around her...

And then her mind starting flashing through all the memories she had of her mother, inconveniently skipping through all the good stuff, and going right into the bad ones - the far less happier times. When it was just her and her mother in the house. Her other siblings had all moved out by then, and as the youngest, she’d been left with Zaeliana...and the two constantly butted heads. They’d had several heated arguments to be sure, mostly over Diamond’s future and her academics. Diamond had been a highly intellectual child, and had even skipped several grades in her elementary years, and so her school work always came first. She took pride in being smart, despite the severe bullying she’d underwent in her classes. Her mother had been very proud of her youngest daughter’s excellence, as well; so proud, in fact, that she pushed and pushed Dime to be even better, to be the best, unknowing that it was doing nothing but embittering the teenager. It was study, study and study some more, and even for a genius child, it was too much. And yet Diamond had done everything her mother had asked of her, out of love and respect...up until the prospect of modeling came about and that was where the two really butted heads.

At the very reminder of all the words said between mother and daughter, Diamond flinched in guilt and gave another choked sob, bowing so that her forehead touched the grass. She repeated ‘I’m sorry,’ over and over into the dampening soil beneath her, guilt eating away at her heart as she remembered being so mad at her mother for refusing to hear her out, that she’d screamed ‘I wish you were dead!’ at the top of her lungs, and the look of shock and hurt on her mother’s face that followed. Still to this day, those words haunted Diamond. Especially now that her mother really was dead. After all, it had been so unlike Diamond, saying something so spiteful and terrible. She had never before raised her voice so loudly or so hatefully at anyone like that ever before, and never since. Of course, the resentment for her mother still lingered back then, up until Diamond actually left the family estate at 18 and headed to college, where she rebelled against her mother full force, by running off and becoming a model anyways. Even keeping it secret for over a year, before she’d come clean to the family.

To say that her mother hadn’t been happy about the news would have been an understatement, but looking back now, Diamond knew that her mother had only been concerned for her; after all, the fashion industry was a harsh one, and the thought of Diamond wasting all of her amazing potential on a dream that might not happen, or happen briefly but come crashing down, worried her. And while Zaeliana had come around in the end, even showing up at her runway shows in New York on occasion, the tension had always remained between them...mostly on Diamond’s end.

Biting at her wet, tear-soaked lips, Diamond’s entire being shook as she wept her remorse over her mother’s cold grave. “I’ve been s-so unbelievably ungrateful to you all th-these years, even resented you, for trying to control my life, or what I perceived as you trying to be controlling...I t-took you and your guidance for g-granted and and I’m so sorry, Mama. I’m sorry I was such a spoiled brat, and - and so quick and eager to leave you the second I got the chance, and I’m sorry I ignored you for so long after I moved out. Deceiving you...and I’m sorry that I lied to you, that I’m still lying to everyone else about everything...and I’m sorry I’ve avoided coming around to visit you for so long...I’m so sorry!”

It was an atonement of her guilt that she had desperately needed to make since January, but she’d been unable to. Every time she’d thought to come and visit her mother’s grave, she’d instead go out and party, drowning herself in drugs, alcohol and sex, to help numb the pain that was always there these days. Too painful for her to face.

She was - is - a terrible daughter. Sister. Niece.

Person. A terrible, terrible person.

“Y-You...you were right to worry about me,” her breath came quick and erratic, her wet face glinting in the moonlight from where it’s still firmly pressed to the grass. She shakily situated herself so that she was laying, fetal position, curled atop the now healed mound of dirt and grass that had been moved in order to place her mother six feet under it, before being put back. The smell of earth filled her lungs as she tearfully confessed, “I love my job and I wouldn’t trade it for anything, but...I’m not okay, mama. I’m not and I haven’t been for a very long time...I’m a mess. I’ve made such a mess of everything.” Perhaps that was a little exaggerated, in retrospect, as not everything in her life was affected by her drug addiction or her alcoholic tendencies, or the fact that she was practically starving herself, despite her family always mentioning food at every damn turn, like they knew she wasn’t eating or something. It’s nearly impossible to avoid food when with them, and honestly, that was one of the only reasons she hated being around them so much. It always made her anxiety skyrocket, and now that she has agreed to move in with Logan...It was going to be a nightmare. As much as she absolutely loved her sister, the fact remained that Diamond had no desire whatsoever to eat anything, and Logan loved to cook...It was going to be hell. Because seriously, how the fuck was she going to be able to hide anything from Logan now?

So yes, while her plethora of problems didn’t affect everything in her life (just yet), the fact remains that her family had no idea about any of it, or at least, the scope of it. Sure, she often hung out with Marcel and Logan at the nightclubs, or ran into them, but..they hadn’t exactly seen Diamond at her worst. They’d seen her drunk, and even high, but who wasn’t one or either of those things at Genesis or Eden? They didn’t know how bad it really was for her.

And honestly? That elated and made her feel like absolute shit, in equal measure. Glad that they didn’t know the severity of her addictions or eating and Bipolar disorder - that the Diamond they saw was the one she wanted them to see; the put-together baby Washington who liked to have fun and who was always super happy; the one who swore up and down to their faces that she was still taking her meds every day; the one who had a promising and rapidly rising career ahead of her. When in fact, reality was far harsher. Her life wasn’t all about haute couture and glitter, and fancy heels like she pretended it was. It was a bit darker than all that, and she said nothing to make her family believe otherwise. She didn’t want them to be ashamed of her, or outright disgusted of her for her piss poor decisions.

At the very thought of her family hating her, she gave a loud whimper that sounded a great deal like that of a wounded animal, and she reached up to grasp at her chest, where the pain was nearly cripplingly. The thought of losing any more of her family was a painful one - whether it was from death or by her own folly, it didn’t matter. Them hating her was a constant thought and fear that did nothing for her often overwhelming depression, which just so happened to feed off those types of thoughts.

“What if they hate me?” she shuttered into the ground, thin body wracked with anxious sobs, “What if - Mama, what if they’re so ashamed of me that they just...th-throw me in rehab and forget about me?” She couldn’t be abandoned by her family...that would break her. She already lost her mother, and it hurt too fucking much, knowing that her family suffered the loss of such a great woman. But to lose the others as well...it was unthinkable.

Of course, deep down passed all of her overwhelming anxieties and self-doubt and her immense shame, Diamond knew her family would never desert her. That they loved her with every fiber of their being. But of course, her mind was a dark, dark place most days and that knowledge was rarely, if ever, acknowledged upon.

Finally, after was seemed like hours but in reality had only been a half-hour at best, the young model began to feel the sorrow that had been burdening her heart for so long begin to lift, and her sobs soon turned to hiccups, and quieter gasps of air. Her tears kept coming, but she knew it would be a long, long time yet before those went away. Pushing herself up into a kneeling position once more, with her long legs coming to fold underneath her, she was able to breathe a little easier, her guilt feeling lesser than it had when she’d first collapsed onto the grave. That said, Diamond was now beginning to become a little more aware of her surroundings and realizing just how late it was, and how...cold she felt. And how utterly stupid she was for being out this late by herself. She’d left the dinner party at the estate early, claiming she needed to go back to her now old apartment to pick up a few things she’d forgotten to pack up. It was a terrible excuse, but being inside the Washington estate again after so long, and without her mother there with them all, had been great but also way too emotionally overwhelming. She couldn’t stay there any longer. Instead of going to the apartment, though, she’d detoured a bit back to the cemetery, to visit her mother. Just one-on-one.

It was stupid, being out so late at night - especially by herself - but she hadn’t cared at the time. Now, as the chilly Chicago breeze picked up and rustled the leaves of the trees nearby, the creepiness of the night began to set in. She now remembered, some weeks ago, promising Marcel and Logan to never come to the cemetery by herself again...whoops. That was definitely a promise broken, not that she was going to be telling them about it. This visit would be strictly kept between her and her mother only.

After wiping at her sopping face with the sleeve of her over-sized sweater, she brought her hand to her lips before reaching down and pressing it solemnly to the ground, right where she imagined her mother’s head would be, “I love you so much, Mama, and I miss you every damn day you’re not here with me - us...I promise you, I’ll come by and visit more often, okay? We’ll have more talks, and I’ll tell you everything that you’re missing - the not-so-great stuff, but especially the good stuff.” Again wiping at her leaking eyes, Diamond slowly got to her feet, brushing off the dirt that had gotten on her bare knees as they dug into the ground. With a brief, wan smile, she blew the grave site a kiss and gave it a wave, “Goodnight - I love you,” she said in finality, before reluctantly turning away and walking back the way she’d come, now more than ever eager to get home.

To crawl into bed, and maybe - just maybe - cry some more to herself until she was actually able to fall asleep.

#diamond:self para #self para #this got super long #but it's honestly so much better than i expected it to turn out #so cheers to that #i'm surprised if there isn't a million mistakes #wrote this super late into the evening

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thecrandays · 5 years

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A four letter word (Chapter 1)

Summary: After his brother passes away, TJ comes realise that he's afraid of a lot of things. He's afraid of losing his parents, he's afraid of anyone figuring out his secret and most of all he fears that he'll never be good enough for the people he cares about.

So when he's paired with Cyrus Goodman to do a project that's all about facing your fears, TJ has to learn that fear is just a four letter word and that he has people who are willing to stand by him until he figures that out.

ao3 link

TJ has an older brother, well, he’d had one until 6 months ago.

Toby, in TJ’s biased opinion, was the best brother ever. Even though they had their petty sibling arguments and would wrestle (resulting in far too many of their mother’s vases being broke) TJ loved Toby and he knew Toby loved him too. They always had each other’s backs through everything even though they didn’t have the same blood running through their veins, they were brothers; they would be always brothers.

After the accident, their family hadn’t been the same.

TJ’s parents have always prided themselves on having good communication skills and raising their children to talk things out, because as TJ has heard many times before ‘There is nothing wrong with talking about your feelings, they make you human’ his parents needed to take their own advice, because lately they had been avoiding each other and pretending that nothing was wrong — like they hadn’t lost their oldest son.

So TJ did too.

He pretends that he hasn’t lost his older brother, that he hasn’t lost the one person he’d trusted enough to tell his secret too and still loved him despite it.

Every time a song came on the radio that Toby had told him to listen too, TJ would pretend it was the first time he’d ever heard it because he couldn’t handle listening to songs and thinking about all the times he and Toby had sat in the car and screamed their lungs out to it.

Toby was the one who taught TJ what it was to be a good person.

He used to take TJ to concerts and went out of his way to make it to every one of his basketball games, even if he had something going on.

TJ remembers teasing him about how organised his room was ‘Some of us like to see the floors of our rooms’ Toby would always say and TJ would reply with something snarky, resulting in a who could shit talk the other better competition.

Toby had been the one to teach TJ how to play the piano and every year at Christmas they’d play it together for their extended family members, but they wouldn’t be doing it this Christmas because Toby was gone.

TJ would rather have Toby back and yapping in his ear 24/7 about how awesome his girlfriend is and how much he loved her (even though it was irritating) than have to wake up every day and let it sink in he would never see his brother again.

Toby’s car had swerved off the road during a terrible thunderstorm.

He’d died on impact.

And it was all TJ’s fault, he knew it, his parents knew it, hell his friends thought so too.

His fault his parents had lost their oldest son, his fault that their family was falling apart, his fucking fault his brother would never come home again.

Mom: Coming home late again, sorry, baby. I love you!

TJ sighed and turned off his phone off. It was the fifth time this week he had come home to an empty house. He got that his mom and dad were trying to avoid staying in the house for too long, but had they suddenly forgot that they had a son?

Yeah, his mom always texts him to let him know she wouldn’t be home but for once it’d be nice to have dinner as a family, like the used to do before everything went to shit.

TJ sighs again and starts the day to day routine he’d had for the last few weeks.

He starts in the kitchen and works his way from there. He stares into the fridge for 5 minutes even though he knows there isn’t any food in it, everyone had been so busy lately that nobody had bothered cooking, so he settled on pouring himself a cup of water.

On the kitchen counter was money, that was probably left there by whichever one of his parents that had left the house last, so he ordered himself a pizza, then took a shower while he waited.

When he finally exits the shower, because the water was too hot to handle anymore, there’s steam everywhere and the steam had fogged up the mirror. He catches glimpses of himself in it and turns away quickly, he already knows what he’ll see when he looks in the mirror so he’d rather avoid seeing that staring back at him.

After he’s dried himself off, he makes his way to his room and as soon as he steps foot into it, he’s hit with a sudden burst of cold air. TJ doesn’t remember his room being this cold or empty, it doesn’t even look like he lives in it.

He guesses it has something to do with the fact that the only time he ever enters his room is to get clothes and either than that, his place of rest is the couch. Even though his mom keeps complaining about him sleeping there and telling him, he’ll get a sore back, it’s the only place he’s been able to get a good night’s rest in a long time.

Standing in the room with only a towel to keep him warm isn’t the best option, so he throws on a black hoodie that smells clean enough, a pair of sweatpants and some socks with little pink bananas on them, that he probably got from a distant relative or something.

When the delivery man finally rings the doorbell, TJ’s already gotten most of his homework done and his stomachs been rumbling for the last ten minutes.

He makes a start for the door, quickly stopping in the kitchen to get the money before he opens the door.

The guy looks to be around TJs age, possibly older, his hair stick his to his forehead by sweat and it looks greasy. He doesn’t even look like he wants to be here, which TJ can’t blame him for, it’s a Friday evening and it’s pretty freaking cold outside. He probably has better things to be doing on a Friday night, then delivering food to people who could just make some themselves.

TJ mumbles out a ‘thank you’ and tips the guy generously, then shuts the door. He heads back into the living room and places the pizza box on the coffee table.

“Maybe getting pizza wasn’t a good idea,” TJ mumbles to himself, taking a slice of pizza out of the box and biting into it.

Even though he wasn’t exactly in the mood for pizza anymore, TJ still scoffed down half the pizza, deciding that he’d save the other half for tomorrow so he wouldn’t have to waste money on fast food again.

As soon as his head hits the sofa, and he’s all wrapped up in his blanket, TJ dozes off. -

The first time he wakes up it’s too a whispered argument and keys jingling in the door. He’s one of those people who hates being woken up when they’re exhausted, so there’s a lot of half asleep grumbling on his part before he falls asleep again to the sound of rain pelting against the window.

The next time he wakes up, it’s because he hears crying and whimpering. At first, he’s sure it’s the neighbour’s cat come to beg for food, but when he checks the windows there's no cat in sight and he’s sure that Mrs Sandoval would never let Cindy out after dark.

TJ slips off the couch quietly, trying to not make any noise and tiptoes up the stairs.

He makes a silent prayer, that some psycho hasn’t broken into his house and it’s just his mom watching a movie a little too loud.

When TJ finally builds the courage to turn the corner where he’s sure the noise is coming from, all the colour drains from his face and his stomach drops.

Toby’s door with all his movie tickets and the drawings that TJ made him when he was like 7, was open and kneeling in the doorway way is his mom.

Her whole body was shaking as she let out loud sobs and when TJ listened hard enough, he could hear her whispering for Toby brokenly, while she clutched onto her chest.

TJ feels tears sting at his eyes and blinks them away, this wasn’t about him.

He knew that eventually one of them would snap, they’d been avoiding talking about Toby ever since he died and TJ was sure that wasn’t healthy but he’d been doing it too so he couldn’t say much.

TJ wasn’t as shocked that it was his mother that broke first, he was actually quite surprised she hadn’t snapped sooner. His mom had always been the person who embraced feelings and encouraged her children to cry if something was wrong.

For a second, TJ just stood there watching as his mom cried, he wasn’t sure what someone was supposed to do in a situation like this. He figures he must look creepy and instead of standing there being useless he should be there for her; she needed him right now. So slowly kneels down next to her, trying not to startle her and gathers her into his arms.

She’s a lot smaller than he expected and the hug must be uncomfortable since he grew a lot taller over the summer and his limbs are all over the place but she buries her face into his chest and cries harder.

A few times while he held her, TJ feels himself close to tears too, because even though his family has always been open with feelings, he’s never seen his mom cry like this and it felt weird watching your parent cry and having to comfort them when usually it was the other way around.

When the sobs finally subside into little sniffles, his mom pushes him away gently and looks up at him.

TJ looks at her, like really looks at her and feels his heart sink. Her caramel brown eyes are all red from the crying, making the bags under her eyes look more prominent. Her brunette hair that is usually, held together by at least 10 hair clips, in a neat bun is all over the place with curls sticking out and everything all frizzy, but it’s not like he can judge he probably doesn’t look so hot himself.

“You’re a good boy, TJ” She whispers, patting his cheek gently and attempting a smile that just appears as a grimace.

She pushes herself off her knees and pulls him up with her.

“I came in here to open the windows, nobody’s come in here in months so I figured it must be musty,” She says, wiping at her eyes and smoothing down an oversized shirt he was sure belonged to his dad.

TJ watches as she closes the door and ties her hair into a ponytail, then tightens it. Something she does when she’s nervous.

He knows what she’s doing.

She’s planning what to say and do next, how she should deal with this situation. He can’t blame her, it’s something they’d all been doing since Toby died.

They’ve all planned their next moves and what to say because if they didn’t everything would fall apart and they’d have to face things head on.

TJ rocks back on the balls of his feet and waits for his mom to do something so he knows how to proceed next and she does exactly what he expects her to do.

She makes her way out of the hall and down the steps, rambling on about how her day was and how she couldn’t get anything to work properly. TJ is sure he’s already heard this all before, but he still listens and trails after her like a lost puppy.

They both find themselves huddled up on the couch, the box of pizza between them and a cup of soda in both their hands as they watched the game.

Toby’s favourite team is playing that night.

The rest of the weekend goes by in a blur, his mom has no more breakdowns and Toby’s door remains firmly shut.

TJ notices that his dad is home a lot less and that his things are slowly disappearing from in the house, but he pretends like nothing has changed whenever he sees his dad.

He’s known for a while now that his parent’s marriage had been falling apart, they weren’t exactly fine before Toby died but at least they were happy and better at acting like they couldn’t bear the sight of each other.

TJ remembers going into their room a month or two ago and seeing the divorce papers that they’d been trying to hide from him, he knew that their arguments had been getting worse and worse ever since Toby died but he just didn’t expect to be losing his family so soon after losing Toby.

He didn’t expect his family to fall apart.

When TJ walks into the school that morning there’s news about a new student going around.

Apparently, Cyrus had transferred from Jefferson to Grant and since their school didn’t get much transfer students, everyone was trying to get the details of what had made him move schools.

TJ has the new guy, Cyrus, in his class and after seeing the way he interacts with others, he understands why people like him so much and it helps that he’s attractive too.

No, no, no. He shouldn’t be thinking those things about Cyrus, he shouldn’t be thinking those things about any boy. It’s disgusting, he was disgusting.

It doesn’t matter what TJ thinks about Cyrus anyway, he’d probably join an after-school club and date someone as sweet as him, he probably didn’t even know that TJ existed, but that was his own fault since he’d avoided any social interaction after the fallout with his friends.

At lunch, TJ finds out that Cyrus is hanging out with Amber, Buffy, Andi, Jonah and Marty, and he can’t help but feel as if they’d just replaced him, it’s a good thing. It means they can finally forget about him.

Three months after Toby had died, TJ had had a huge argument with his friends.

He had been slowly withdrawing himself away from the group without even realising it and they were all worried but TJ was tired of everyone walking on eggshells around him and acting like he’d break down at any second.

Then TJ had found out they’d all been talking about him about his back, they weren’t saying anything bad; they were just concerned, but he snapped.

“Stop, just stop! I don’t need you guys and I’m so fucking tired of the looks of pity I get from people, I don’t need it from my own friends too-”

“TJ," Amber cuts him off, “We were just trying to help, we’re worried about you”

“I don’t need you guys to feel sorry for me” He shouts, not noticing the way they all flinch away from, “I don’t deserve it, I know it’s my fault Toby died, okay?! I shouldn’t have forced him to pick me up after practice — no, don’t touch me!”

TJ remembers crying like a baby that day, he had told all of them he hated them, he’d told them to never speak to him again — and they must have taken what he said to heart, because he hasn’t spoken to them since that day — not even Amber and she’s always been like a sister to him, they grew up together.

He quit the basketball team soon after the argument to avoid seeing Marty and Buffy.

He remembers how hurt Buffy had looked that day, even though they had originally started on the wrong foot, they had grown to see each other as friends. She was like the annoying sister, that he never wanted but had.

Losing Jonah and Marty was hard too, they were his bro’s, the people he could always depend on to help him when he got himself into stupid shit and he’d do the same for them.

But TJ thinks the hardest loss was probably Amber and Andi.

Amber had always been his family, they’d grown up together, their parents were close, they were practically family and TJ had lost all that.

And Andi, everyone had found it surprising when they saw how close Andi and TJ were, but what people didn’t know is that they had a lot more in common than most people thought.

Andi was always there with him and TJ was always there for her too, they rode their hikes together and on days where it was too hot or too cold they’d practise origami in Andi Shack; it was the second place where TJ felt the safest — the first being Toby’s room.

TJ isn’t the same person he used to be, he wasn’t as extroverted as he used to be and his confidence had dwindled in the last few months until it was barely there.

He spent his lunchtimes eating under the bleachers, like a stereotypical kid staring in a high school romantic comedy or in the music room because Ms Lowe loved him.

He barely ever sleeps most days because every time he closes his eyes, all he sees is Toby.

Toby smiling, Toby playing basketball with him, Toby in the car singing along to Ariana Grande, all he sees is Toby.

The only good thing that’s probably come out of this is that his grades have gotten better, he doesn’t have friends to hang out with anymore so why not do his work?

Sometimes TJ passes his old friends in the halls, but he always ducks his head and pretends to have not seen them.

He’s too ashamed to look at them or to see the hatred in their eyes, so he runs away like he always does because TJ Kippen is a coward.

He saw Amber in the halls with the new boy today; it felt like a punch in the gut. -

“Good Morning!” Ms Taylor says, clapping her hands and smiling at them brightly.

She was way too happy this early in the morning and T.J. wasn’t here for it.

“I know you guys hate school and you’re probably tired, but I’ve got great news,” She pauses, for dramatic effect, “I’ve decided that instead of getting right into things, I want to give you guys time to settle in and get to know each other. So, I’ve decided that I want you guys to write 4 things you’re scared to do but think you should do and one thing you really want to do as a reward for facing your fears. You will have a partner, that I pick — It’s a nice way to get to know new people! Now be quiet and listen out for who will be your partner because I’m only saying this once”

TJ buries his face in the crook of his elbow and zones out as she calls out people's names and who they’re partnered with.

He must have missed her saying his name because when he comes back to everyone is sitting next to their new partners.

He’s about to raise his hand to ask her who his partner is when someone plops down in the desk next to him.

“Hey, I guess we’re partners now?” Cyrus says smiling at him, as he stretches out his hand for a handshake.

TJ stares at the outstretched hand until Cyrus drops it and it lingers between the two.

“I’m not sure about what to write on my list, I’m literally scared of nearly everything and we’re only allowed to write 4 things, plus there aren’t many things I’m scared of that I’d want to do. I’m rambling, aren’t I?” Cyrus asks, looking at him nervously.

“Yeah, just a little” TJ says, his mouth twitching upward.

TJ doesn’t mean to come off rude, he isn’t sure how to interact with Cyrus. He hasn’t really talked to anyone his own age in a few months, so forgive him if he’s communication skills are shit.

“Do you have any idea what you’re four things are?”

“Yes” TJ answers, he watches as Cyrus’ facial morphs into one of surprise.

“Seriously? I can’t even think of one!” Cyrus groans.

TJ surprises himself by chuckling softly, “Maybe that just means you’re not scared of many things”

Cyrus scoffs, “Did you not just hear me say I’m literally scared of everything?”

“There isn’t anything you’re scared doing you know you should at least take a chance at doing?” TJ presses.

“Well, there are a few things,” Cyrus says hesitantly, “But I’m not sure”

“Well, you’ve got a whole week to think it over”

“I don’t see why people would want to do the thing’s they fear, you fear them for a reason”

“Maybe you’re scared because you know you should try it, you can’t always live your life in fear about the outcome of something is or what someone will say. Facing your fears helps you let go of things and somewhat grow as a person,” TJ says, he thinks that’s the most his said to anyone in a really long time.

“Wow, you sound just like my mom,” Cyrus whispers, in amazement.

“Is that, uh, a good thing?” TJ asks.

Cyrus just smiles at him and nods his head, “It’s a great thing”

TJ smiles back hesitantly.

The rest of the class goes by smoother, with TJ letting Cyrus ramble on, he talked enough for the both of them.

They exchange numbers for the project and Cyrus fills TJ in on what he missed when he zoned out. The project is just a bunch of high school kids facing four of their fears and doing one thing they want to do as a treat and writing about the whole experience and how it changed you at the same time.

TJ kind of hates the project and loves it at the same time. He hates that he’s so cowardly that he has to use a school project as an excuse to face his fears and he loves it because he thinks it’s given him the chance to have someone to talk to.

“Amber was right about you, you know? You really are a nice guy,” Cyrus mumbles softly.

Then as if on cue, the bell rings and Cyrus walks out, leaving behind a dumbfounded TJ

He thought Amber hated him after everything he had said to her, he’d deserve it if she did. He hadn’t been expecting to find out from Cyrus that she still thought of him as a nice person, TJ felt hope bloom in his chest.

TJ felt himself smile, genuinely smile, teeth and all, for the first time in a really long time.

The rest of his day went on better than he expected and when he walked passed Marty in the halls, he didn’t duck his head or turn the other way around. He didn’t run away this time, and he didn’t talk to him either, TJ didn’t think he’d be ready to talk to his friends anytime soon, but it’s still great to know that they didn’t despise him. Maybe one day he would gather the courage to apologise to them.

Next Chapter

#andi mack #am #fic #my writing #tyrus #tj kippen #cyrus goodman

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givemebtscenarios · 5 years

Text

Only Once?-Meanie(M)

Can you pls write #2 & #14 for the smut game, for a threesome with Wonwoo, Mingyu and female reader? (The reader is wonwoo's GF) Thanks a lot~

2.)You have got a great ass. 14.)Where do you think you’re going?”

Words: 4,063

Your lip curled back on its own as you watched Mingyu waltz across the hallway. You and your boyfriend, Wonwoo, had agreed to let Mingyu be your roommate until he saved up enough money from his job to get his own apartment. At first, it wasn't too bad; Mingyu would offer to help you cook dinner that night, or suggest that since you cooked, he would wash the dishes afterwards. However; after a while, things started changing and Mingyu mainly stayed in his room, only coming out to go to the bathroom, eat, and answer the door for one of the many girls he had over during the week. You rolled your eyes every time he pulled the door open, revealing the girl of the night wearing almost nothing and the wide grin that spread across Mingyu's face when he saw her.

You and Wonwoo would exchange weary looks, your eyes rolling into the back of your head as he pulled her towards his bedroom. At least they had the decency to keep the volume down so you and Wonwoo could get some sleep. She was always gone when you woke up the next morning, putting Mingyu even deeper into your 'avoid at all costs' list. You didn't know what had gotten into him to make him suddenly start acting that way, but you wish he would change back to how he was before. Even after him starting to bring different girls home, he had started abandoning house duties, letting his dishes pile up in the sink, or having his bedroom in a mess.

The person you had thought was your friend and helped you when he could, turned into someone that didn't care and messed everything up.

"We have to do something about him. He's not doing anything, and everything is always a mess that I have to clean up." you complained to your boyfriend one day while Mingyu was at work.

Wonwoo sighed and leaned his head back against the couch.

"I know. I don't know what's happened to him. He doesn't come out of his bedroom, and he completely avoids you altogether. When it's just me and him, he's fine. He gets home and it's like a different person takes a hold of him. I'll talk to him when we go out later on. Hopefully, we can get this worked out." Wonwoo said, grabbing your hand and bringing it up to his lips to place a soft kiss on the back of it.

You smiled and nodded, knowing if anyone could get through to him, it would be Wonwoo. They were like brothers and Mingyu knew Wonwoo better than you did sometimes. You stood up from your spot on the couch to walk into the kitchen and begin cooking dinner. Wonwoo had requested you made Kimbap, so you took out all the ingredients you'd need, popping your head around the corner when you heard the front door open to see Mingyu walk in, taking his shoes off by the door. He jerked his head towards Wonwoo as he walked towards the kitchen. When he walked in, he paused, looking between you and fridge. He slowly made his way towards the fridge door, opening it and getting out a bottle of water before leaving the room.

You looked towards Wonwoo, a bewildered look on your face, to which Wonwoo just shrugged and shook his head. You pushed it to the back of your mind and continued cooking, adding things in when they needed to be.

"Are we still going out tonight?" you heard Mingyu ask Wonwoo in the living room a few minutes later.

"Yeah, we're gonna go when we get done eating. Y/n is making Kimbap; it should almost be done. We'll eat and then head out."

Mingyu nodded his head before sitting down in the chair beside the couch, his eyes glued to the TV as Wonwoo flipped the channel to 'Hello Counselor'. You finished up the food, fixing the plates full of food up and taking them to the table.

"Dinner's done, you guys." you announced, going back into the kitchen to get the drinks you knew they'd want.

When you got back, both of the boys were already at the table, mouths already full with their first bite. You smiled and gave them their drinks before sitting down as well. You took your first bite and flavor exploded in your mouth. You had always prided yourself on being a good cook, but since you had been dating Wonwoo, you had extended your recipes, and could cook anything Wonwoo said he wanted that night. Wonwoo never had any complaints with anything you cooked, and it made you feel good about yourself. About half an hour later, with words only spoken between you and Wonwoo, all three plates were empty and the boys were getting up to get ready to leave.

"Want me to clean up before we go?" your boyfriend asked, shooting a glance at Mingyu.

You smiled and shook your head, leaning over to give him a quick kiss.

"No, it's okay. Go out, I'll clean it up."

He gave you one last kiss before him and Mingyu walked out of the apartment, closing the door behind him. You were left with silence surrounding you. You sighed a deep sigh and began washing the dirty dishes, setting them up so they could dry and you could put them away. You knew they would be gone for a while, so you decided to take a hot bath. You had recently bought some bath bombs you were dying to try, and figured this was as good a time as any. You walked into the bathroom, filling the tub up with hot water and some bubbles before dropping in the bath bomb. Pigment filled the water, turning it a bright teal color. You stripped off your clothes before stepping in, groaning at the feeling.

You sat down fully, the water covering you up to below your breasts. The hotness immediately started working at your sore muscles, loosening them up and relaxing you. You didn't even need music and candles to relax. The hot water and being alone was enough for you. You closed your eyes and slid down lower into the tub, letting the water run over your chest. You sighed; it had been too long since you had been able to do this. You leaned your head to the side, watching your fingers gently playing with the water, bringing your hand up so drops of water would land on the surface and cause ripples you'd follow with your eyes. Even though you didn't want to do anything, you had things to do while you were in the bath, like shave your legs and other parts that hadn't seen a razor in about a week.

You relaxed for about an hour, breathing in the smell of the bath bomb you had dropped in, filling the room with a lavender and mint fragrance. You hummed songs to yourself and made up your own dance moves in your head. Once the water had started turning cold, you grabbed your shaving cream and your razor, standing up to shave between your legs. You had made a promise to yourself to never wait this long to shave again. Once you were satisfied enough, you lathered up your legs and glided the razor across them, running your finger over your skin to make sure you had gotten it all. Your body was now baby soft and smelling amazing. Your muscles weren't tense anymore and you felt as if you could fall asleep and stay like that for about twelve hours if Wonwoo would let you.

You started draining the bathtub, getting out and wrapping a towel around you. You made your way down the hall and to your bedroom, going to your dresser to get out a tank top and a pair of the shortest shorts you owned. They were Wonwoo's favorite and you always slept in them. You dried off, throwing the towel in with the rest of the dirty clothes in the basket and walked over to your bed, pulling the blankets back on your side and slipping in, groaning when the fresh sheets made contact with your legs. There was nothing better than having clean sheets rubbing against freshly shaved legs. You'd fight anyone over that opinion. It wasn't too long before your eyes were drooping and your mind was slipping into unconsciousness.

The front door closing woke you up, your hands coming up to rub at your eyes. You glanced over at the clock to see it was 10 pm. You pulled the blankets back, and started walking towards the bedroom door before remembering the shorts you had on and slowly retreating back into the room to change into some pants. Before you could open the dresser, Wonwoo came into the bedroom, his eyes immediately darting to you bent over, your ass in the air covered by his favorite pair of shorts you had. He licked his lips and started walking towards you, his hands gripping your hips from behind you and causing you to jump.

"Goddammit, Wonwoo. You scared the hell out of me." you hissed, standing up to turn around and look at him.

He grinned and gave a small apology.

"You have got a great ass. Sit down. I gotta talk to you about something."

Your blood started running cold. When someone said they had to talk to you, it was almost never a good thing. Your mind started thinking the worst. Wonwoo had cheated on you while he was out with Mingyu, he didn't feel the same way about you anymore, he secretly thought your Kimbap tasted like shit tonight. Everything was flowing through your mind and you got scared. You sat down on the bed beside him, crossing your legs and putting your hands in your lap. You sat up straight and looked at him, your eyes searching his face for any hint of unhappiness. He seemed fine at dinner; did something change while he was out with Mingyu?

"I told you I was going to talk to Mingyu about the way he's been acting lately." he said, causing you to nod.

"Me and him talked pretty much the entire time we were gone and we came to a conclusion about why he's been avoiding you, and staying in his room all day unless he has to go to work."

You looked at him expectantly. Okay, so it didn't have anything to do with your relationship.

"He's attracted to you. He likes you. He said he thought of you as a friend at first, but when he'd help you in the kitchen, or around the house, the two of you would talk to whole time and he started feeling himself getting attracted to you, so he stopped. He thought that would make it go away and he could start hanging out with you again, but it didn't.

You felt the air rush out of your lungs with every word Wonwoo said. Mingyu was attracted to you? That's why he's been acting like an asshole?

"That still doesn't explain the massive amount of girls he's been having over every week. Not that there's anything wrong with it, it just gets annoying after a while." you said.

"He explained that, too. He thought if he slept with different girls, it would keep his mind off of you, but it didn't. He just thought about you while he was fucking them."

Your face turned red. You felt it all the way down to your chest. You had never once thought Mingyu would feel like that towards you. Thinking about you while he was fucking another girl? You wanted to feel....disgusted. But, there was a part in you that felt flattered. How was Wonwoo so calm after hearing his best friend talk about how he's attracted to her and thought about fucking her while he was with another girl?

"Where is he?" you asked, realizing you hadn't heard him close his door when they came home.

"He's in the living room. There's one last thing I have to talk to you about."

You gave him a confused look, but nodded.

"Don't freak out, and if you say no, it won't happen. We thought the best way to get him over this, would be for us to have a threesome. Let him do it once, know what it was like, and hope that will make him move on." your boyfriend let out in one quick breath.

You looked at him with your eyebrows raised. Did your boyfriend just suggest a threesome with his best friend? You had to admit, girls would have to be blind to not see how attractive Mingyu was. The way he carried himself and the clothes he wore just screamed 'confident and sexy'. Your eyes scanned the room, mentally going over what could go wrong and if it was worth doing all of this. You really wanted the old Mingyu back, but you didn't know it would involve you having sex with him to get him. Your eyes locked with Wonwoo's who was patiently waiting for your answer. He knew it was a lot to take in, and he didn't want to pressure you.

You finally nodded, looking at Wonwoo to make sure your answer hadn't upset him. You were getting a free shot to sleep with someone who came second to your boyfriend when it came to looks. And deep voices. If he sounded anything like Wonwoo during sex, you were screwed. Literally and metaphorically. Wonwoo smiled and nodded, getting off the bed and walking out of the room. You heard him say something to Mingyu, although you couldn't make out what he said. You heard footsteps come back towards the bedroom and when you looked up, Mingyu was with your boyfriend. Wait. This was happening now? Thank God you had shaved while you were in the bath.

You looked between the two men, still trying to figure out if Wonwoo was serious. Your mind quickly decided on an answer when Mingyu pulled his shirt over his head, letting it fall to the floor. You could feel your jaw drop as you looked over his chest, down to his stomach to the thin trail of hair that led down into the pants. You licked your lips and you heard Wonwoo chuckle.

"I told you she'd go for it. You don't see what I do." Wonwoo said.

You managed to tear your eyes away from Mingyu's body to look at your boyfriend. Were you that obvious when you were checking out Mingyu all those times? You got up on your knees, crawling to the edge of the bed. You grabbed the hem of Wonwoo's shirt and pulled him towards you, his hand coming to run through your hair. His thumb was placed on your cheek as you lifted his shirt up slightly, kissing the skin that was revealed. Wonwoo took his lip between his teeth, looking down and watching your tongue come out in random places to lick across the warm flesh. Your hands went to the waistband of his shorts, pulling them down along with his boxers.

You looked up to see him grab the back of his shirt and pull it over his head, letting it join Mingyu's on the floor. You bit your lip and you felt a second hand join in your hair and pull it into a pony tail. Mingyu's hand guided your head to Wonwoo's cock, your tongue coming out to lick a strip from the base to the tip, a hiss coming from the man above you. Your mouth entrapped the head, sucking it into your mouth as Mingyu worked you up and down. The hold on your hair got tighter as Wonwoo started thrusting into your mouth. Mingyu let go and walked to the side of the bed and you felt it dip down with his weight. He crawled behind you as you worked Wonwoo and you felt him pull your shorts down.

Mingyu's hands gripped your ass, letting one come back before slapping it onto your skin, a loud slap coursing through the room. You gasped and rocked forward, taking more of Wonwoo's cock down your throat. Wonwoo gasped and gripped your hair tighter.

"Fuck y/n, do that again." he moaned.

Mingyu slapped your other cheek, causing your body to move forward once again and the tip of his cock went down your throat once more. The vibrations of your moans raced through his body and his head tipped back at the feeling. Mingyu slid your shorts off from your feet and threw them onto the floor. You looked up to catch Wonwoo's eyes before you felt Mingyu lick a stripe up your pussy. You pulled back off of Wonwoo to let out a gasp and a low moan, feeling how Mingyu went immediately to wrap his lips around your clit and suck it into his mouth. Your legs started shaking, his tongue licking from your entrance back up to your clit. He traced circles around it, the tip of his tongue going between pressing hard and teasing you.

Wonwoo pulled you off of him, your mouth sliding off with a pop.

"Mingyu, I can't take it, I have to be inside her. You know the one rule, though."

You furrowed your eyebrows and looked back at Mingyu.

"What's the one rule?"

"I can't kiss you. And if I fuck your pussy, I have to use a condom." he said, his voice low and his chin covered in your juices.

The sight made you wetter, and caused you to rub your thighs together to get some friction.

"What do you mean IF you fuck my pussy?"

"Well, you do have another hole besides your mouth. And as much as I want to feel your mouth wrapped around me, something tells me the other one is so much more tighter." he said, a smirk on his face.

You blushed at the thought of someone fucking your ass, but turned you on at the same time. You slowly nodded, looking at Wonwoo. He laid down on the bed and tapped his thigh, signaling for you to get on top of him. You straddled his waist, reaching to your shirt and taking it off, throwing it off the side of the bed. He wrapped an arm around your waist and pulled your chest down to him, his tongue running over on of your nipples before his mouth closed around it. You groaned, biting your lip and running your fingers through Wonwoo's hair. You felt Mingyu get on the bed behind you and heard him pop open a bottle of lube you and Wonwoo kept, just in case you decided to do anal.

You heard him pump himself behind you, squelching noises filling the room. He put a bit more on his fingers and spread your ass, running his fingers across your hole. You jumped at the coldness, pushing your chest even more into Wonwoo's face.

"I tried to warm it up before I put it on you." Mingyu said, but you could hear the grin in his voice.

Wonwoo paid attention to your other nipple, sucking on it until a bruise formed beside your nipple, taking the peak between his teeth and pulling on it.

"I'll go first." Wonwoo said after hearing that Mingyu was done with the lube.

He grabbed your hips and teased your folds with his cock, getting it wet before slowly sliding inside, groaning when your tightness wrapped around him. He thrusted a few more times before stopping and holding you still as Mingyu crept closer. You felt the head of his cock press against your hole and you tensed, knowing it was going to be painful.

"Relax. It'll hurt less if you relax." Wonwoo whispered, reaching between you to start rubbing figure eights onto your clit.

You moaned, your body relaxing at the feeling of his fingers working wonders against your clit. Mingyu pressed forward, the tip of his cock sliding in deeper, causing you to hiss.

"It's okay baby, it's okay. Just a little bit more." Wonwoo whispered as he ran his hands over your hair.

"I'm trying to go slow, babe. I promise." Mingyu gasped from behind you.

You were already squeezing him tight, and he didn't know how long he would last once he was fully sheathed inside you. He gripped your hips, moving forward just a little bit every couple of seconds. You grit your teeth, your eyes squeezing shut as he eased himself in. When he was finally fully inside you, he groaned, his hands squeezing your ass harshly. Wonwoo started moving inside you and your mouth fell open in a quiet moan at the feeling of being stuffed. Mingyu pulled back slowly before thrusting forward again, a whimper falling from your lips.

"Do you want me to keep moving?" he asked you, his fingers still having a death grip on your ass.

You nodded, your head falling forward onto Wonwoo's chest as he pulled back once more and thrusted into you. The pain was now going away and being replaced by pure pleasure, once Wonwoo slid out, Mingyu would slide in and vice versa. They soon built up a rhythm, sliding in and out of you with ease.

"Fuck, your ass is so fucking tight. I'm not gonna last long." Mingyu moaned, leaning forward to grip your hair and pull, tugging your head back.

You tried to move away from the feeling, the nerves inside you tingling with every thrust he made and you were trying not to cum too soon.

"Where do you think you're going?" Mingyu asked, bringing you back to him.

He looked down and watched himself slide in and out of you, your ass bouncing with every land against his thighs. He pulled his hand back to let it slap against your ass, your pussy clenching around Wonwoo's cock and causing him to groan.

"Do that again, and I'm not gonna last. I didn't think it would feel this good." he moaned, thrusting up inside you as Mingyu pulled out.

You couldn't make any sounds even if you wanted to, the feeling of being so full was nearly taking your breath away. Every moan came out as a sigh or nothing at all. You felt them gather speed, Wonwoo's hips thrusting up into yours. Your hands went up to grip the headboard, your breasts bouncing in your boyfriends face as he stuck his tongue out to lick over one every time it bounced. You felt the white hot sensation in your lower stomach and you knew it was only a matter of seconds before you came. Your pussy clenched around Wonwoo again and he threw his head back as his hips stuttered.

"Fuck, I'm gonna cum." he moaned, thrusting up into you faster, making Mingyu speed his own thrusts up.

The sound of skin on skin echoed through the room, along with Mingyu's grunts and Wonwoo's groans. Your voice finally broke through as your orgasm washed through you, a loud shout of their names filling the room as your juices ran over Wonwoo's cock, causing him to cum inside you, his body jerking as he came. Mingyu was next, cumming right after Wonwoo, filling up your ass with cum as he slowed down, pulling out of you after the last spurt filled you up. He fell onto the bed, his chest rising and falling with every breath as you collapsed down onto Wonwoo's chest.

"Holy fuck, that was fantastic." Wonwoo groaned, wiping the sweat off of his forehead with the back of his arm.

You caught your breath, looking up at him as he tried to control his breathing. You rolled off of him, wincing when his cock slipped out of you and laid down between the two guys you lived with. Mingyu stood up, grabbing his underwear before sliding them on and fetching his jeans. He turned around to cast one last glance at your naked body and smirked. Wonwoo wrapped his arm around you, pulling you to him as he kissed you softly. Mingyu turned around to walk towards the door, and stopped once he got out into the hallway.

"Next time, I get her pussy."

#seventeen #smut #scenario #meanie #wonwoo #mingyu

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sillyxkittyy · 6 years

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Writing Prompt Day 10

Day 10: Secret Agent (Ladynoir)

“Get him, my Lady!”

Ladybug ran as fast as she could as the masked man ran away with the suitcase. She herself had a red polka dotted mask on her face, to hide her identity, and so did her trusted partner Chat Noir, although his was only black. They were secret agents, working for one of the biggest agencies. An agency so secret, not only did no one knew its existence, but the people working within it couldn’t know the others’ identities, a detail that pained most of the workers, even Ladybug herself. She didn’t let it get to her though; she enjoyed her job very much anyways.

She was an excellent agent, one of the best. Her boss couldn’t stop reminding her. She got dragged in this by accident really, but it was a good accident. A time came where missions got more and more dangerous, too dangerous for her to do alone. They had then given her a partner. At first, Ladybug was skeptic; she had worked with many people in the past and it had often ended up in a disaster. Luckily for her, Chat Noir was different; their working techniques and their personalities were compatible, which made working with him not only easy, but fun as well. He always had a joke to crack, and often had this smile plastered on his face. He was like a human sunbeam. She shook her head; she couldn’t be distracted by thinking of all the good things about her partner, she had a thief to catch. In that suitcase were very classified informations, that could be dangerous in the wrong hands. Ladybug spotted a horizontal pole a few meters away and jumped as high as she could to grab it. She then started swinging and landed in front of the man. Taken by surprise, he stopped in his tracks, hugging the suitcase close to his chest. He then turned around to go the other way but Chat Noir was standing there, his arms crossed, with a smirk on his face.

“Hand in the suitcase” Chat said in a surprisingly soft tone. The man shook his head.

“Never!” The thief replied. Chat simply nodded and before the thief knew what was going on, someone was pulling him away and wrapping their arms around him. The man simply saw Chat Noir take the suitcase out of his hands. He tried to leave the grip that had tightened around him, in vain. Ladybug was holding too tightly. She gave him a smirk.

“Guess you’ll spend your next years in jail” she whispered to him as a police car approached them. The man was immediately taken away, screaming as he tried to run off. The two secret agents smiled slightly before discreetly disappearing. They both stopped on the roof of a nearby building. Ladybug had her hands on her knees, a bit out of breath. Chat Noir approached her.

“Another crime stopped by the amazing Ladybug and Chat Noir!” He exclaimed with a hint of pride in his voice. Ladybug let out a small chuckle as she stood up to fist bump him, like they had the habit to do after every mission. She brought her hand to her ear and pressed on her earring. A ‘beep’ sound was heard and an hologram of the boss appeared. Chat Noir and Ladybug stood straighter.

“We have the suitcase, sir” Chat Noir said as he put it in the air to show it to the hologram. The boss, who had gray hair and a soft look on his face, nodded.

“Perfect. Bring it to headquarters as soon as possible ” he replied sternly.

“Is there another assignment for us to do?” Ladybug asked. The boss chuckled and shook his head.

“Not for you, no. You guys have been working really hard, lately, and deserve a break. Take the rest of the day off.“ he told them with a slight smile. The two of them looked at each other; a day off? They barely had one of those. It was so weird, yet none of them were complaining; a day off would be nice. The hologram suddenly disappeared, leaving them alone in complete silence. Ladybug passed her tongue on her lips.

“A break huh? That might be good” she silently said as she gazed around. They were so rare that she didn’t know what she was going to do. She was about to leave when she felt someone take her hand.

“My Lady, wait” Chat Noir said as he looked at her softly. “I uh-“ he paused, gulping slightly. He was usually able to speak normally to her, but for some reason, at that moment, he was frozen. As if he was mesmerized by her, which he was, in some way. He took a deep breath. “Well... since we’re both in break at the same time... I was wondering if you wanted to... hang out?” He tried himself. Ladybug raised an eyebrow.

“Like the two of us?” She asked. Chat nodded awkwardly.

“Yeah! Yeah, that’s what I meant” he replied. Ladybug seemed to think for a second. Chat watched her; even when she was thinking, like a normal human, she looked like the sun. He could feel his heartbeat accelerating. Finally, he noticed a smile growing on his partner’s face.

“Hmm, that would be great. We clearly don’t hang out enough outside of missions” she thought out loud. “Okay, I accept” she accepted. Chat didn’t expect that. He let go of her hand and smiled.

“Great!” He exclaimed, not hiding his happiness. Ladybug pursed her lips.

“One problem though. How are we going to find a place to hang out without being interrupted or seen?” She asked. Chat grinned.

“Don’t worry. I have a perfect place.” He told her. “Follow me” he added before walking off. Ladybug chuckled before following him. They advanced for quite a while, jumping from building to building and walking in the forest until they came upon a big house in the middle of nowhere. Ladybug frowned slightly.

“Where are we?” She questioned as she looked around. Chat smiled.

“My house- well, one of my houses” he replied. Ladybug turned to him.

“One of your houses? Are you rich or something?” Chat started playing with his hair; he forgot that his partner didn’t know about this piece of information about him. He didn’t necessarily like to brag about the fact that he was rich. He nodded.

“I am, actually.”

“And how many houses do you have?” She looked so dumbfounded, it was cute. He let out a chuckle.

“My Lady, calm down. I, personally, have only one house, the one I live in. My father bought three vacations houses, and decided to lend me one of them, that’s all” he put a hand on her shoulder. Ladybug smiled.

“Ahh, I see now. Well then, would you show me around your vacation house, chaton?” She asked with an amused chuckle. Chat returned her smile before opening the door. Ladybug’s eyes widened as she marvelled at the beauty of the house. Everything was so clean, so well placed. The chandelier was so chic and everything was practically shining in the light. He must have a lot of money. Ladybug gasped.

“This is... amazing!” She exclaimed. Chat smiled.

“Thank you. I’m gonna be honest, I haven’t been here in forever. Probably a couple of years” ever since my mother disappeared. “Ever since my dad gave me that house, I haven’t really been” he admitted. Ladybug started walking around, gazing at the beauty of the interior of this supposed vacation house. This was ten times more chic than her own house. It was obvious that Chat didn’t want to brag about his money, which she appreciated, but she had to admit that he was way richer than she thought. It was a new side of him. She turned in his direction and noticed that he was searching in the fridge.

“What are you looking for?” She inquired, walking closer.

“Something to eat” was his reply before turning to her. “You can eat anything you want” he added. Ladybug shook her head.

“No... I don’t want to be a bother” she crosses her arms awkwardly. Chat smiled softly.

“My Lady... you’re never a bother. It’ll be a pleasure to me to prepare the food.” He replied. Ladybug chewed on her lip awkwardly.

“You sure no one is going to come here?” She asked, still looking around. Her partner nodded.

“Yes, I am sure. No one knows the existence of this place, except my parents and I.“ he assured her with a smile. Ladybug took a deep breath; she should stop stressing. If Chat could be chill about it, so could she. She smiled.

“I don’t want anything complicated, pasta will be fine, thank you” she simply said. Chat grinned.

“You’re lucky, because I also enjoy pasta, so we have plenty! Hey, would you like to cook with me?” He asked with a smile. To be frank, it was mostly because his father didn’t let him cook alone, or even cook at all. Hopefully, Ladybug knew more than him. He also really wanted to cook with her. Ladybug giggled slightly.

“Why, of course! Let’s go!” She exclaimed before taking his hand and dragging him to the stove. It didn’t take them time to finish the food. As soon as it was ready, Chat led her to his rooftop place. Ladybug glanced at the surroundings; it was absolutely breathtaking. She gasped softly as she looked around.

“Oh, Chat...” she whispered. Her partner smiled and brought her to the small table nearby and they set everything down. They both sat on chairs on opposite sides of the table. They both started eating silently at first, digging in the delicious food.

“This is amazing!” Ladybug complimented as she took another bite. Chat gave her a goofy grin.

“Thank you. I knew it would taste better if you made it with me” he said. Ladybug simply giggled as she continued to eat. Chat stared at her, being too distracted to continue eating. She really was pretty; with her dark eyes and her dazzling blue eyes. She was so distracting; working with her was both a pleasure and a pain. She was so nice, so patient, and yet sometimes, he was so distracted by her that he almost failed the missions. It didn’t matter if he didn’t know her identity, he loved her. So much. Why did he have to be so desperately in love with her? He let out a silent sigh. He suddenly heard a strange noise and immediately, his fake cat ears went up. They weren’t alone. Someone else was here. And he knew exactly where they were. Chat stood up.

“You okay, Chaton?” Ladybug asked, suddenly concerned. Chat didn’t reply. He listened for any other sound. Footsteps. He heard footsteps. There was definitely someone.

“Yeah. I’m fine. I just- I think we’re not alone”

“Not alone? I thought you said no one knew about this place?” Ladybug frowned in confusion.

“Well...” Chat paused awkwardly. “Not many people do. It’s not uncommon for our vacation houses to be robbed, or attempted to be robbed. My father has a place in this house where he keeps most of his riches. I believe whoever is here is trying to get to that” he explained. “Probably the first one told other thieves” Chat sighed in discouragement. Couldn’t they have a moment with Ladybug for once? Ladybug chuckled.

“Even during our break, we’re in mission” she joked. Chat Noir managed to smile in amusement.

“Follow me” he ordered before rushing down the stairs. Ladybug followed him frantically, a bit worried. Chat Noir seemed pretty calm about it, though. He opened a big door and took out a big bag. He then went to the bathroom.

“I’ll be right back okay? It won’t take long” he promised before closing the door. It took barely five minutes before he came out again.

“Come on.” He waved to her to come with him. She went after him silently. They both went outside and sneaked around the backwards. Finally, they arrived near a big grey door. Chat looked around. Suddenly, two burglars came out from behind a tree. Quickly, the two agents hid behind the wall. Chat Noir observed them; one was big with red hair and the other one was thin with dark skin. They both seemed cautious.

“We did it! We managed to get here without a problem! It’s in the bag” the bigger one exclaimed happily. The thinner one shook his head.

“Don’t be so sure about that” he replied. The big one laughed.

“Nonsense. No one came to this house in years! It’s not like someone would stop us.” At that moment, Chat pulled Ladybug by the arm and they ran in front of the grey door. The two burglars seemed surprised.

“You were saying?!” The thin one exclaimed in frustrating. The bigger one rolled his eyes and took out his gun.

“Don’t worry. I’ll take care of them” he smirked. Ladybug suddenly felt stressed. He had a gun. She was dead. Literally. Her heart started beating faster. She glanced over at Chat Noir. Her partner seemed completely calm. He looked over at her and gave her a reassuring smile.

“Who are you going to shoot first?” The thin one asked, snickering.

“I don’t know.” The other one replied. “All I know is they’re going down!” He yelled before pointing his gun towards Ladybug. As soon as he pulled the trigger, Chat Noir was quick to put himself in front of her and put a weird red button in front of him. As soon as the ball pushed the button, a big cage came from the air and trapped the two burglars inside.

“What’s happening?” One asked. The two started moving, hoping to get out, in vain. Ladybug looked at Chat Noir in shock.

“Chat... you saved my life!” She whispered, still feeling like her heart was going to pop out of her chest. Chat smiled.

“That’s what partners do” he said softly. Ladybug‘s mouth was slightly open in surprise. She could have died right here, on the spot. Chat Noir... had saved her life. It was something he’d do but... it felt so real. She saw him in a different light now, as her saviour, her hero. She could feel her heart flutter... but she couldn’t let her feelings get the best of her now. She took the phone and called the police. Meanwhile, Chat pushed the cage a few meters away, a bit closer to another big house. He knew that this would probably pass in the news, and they’d probably say that the house they were in was the Agreste house, exposing his identity to Ladybug and anyone else who was aware of this. He didn’t want to reveal his identity. At least now, he could say that it was the other house. Soon, the police arrived to take them away. As soon as they left, Chat kneeled down to put everything back in place. Ladybug walked closer to him, feeling a bit flustered.

“Chat...” she started, playing with her hair slightly. “How did you do all of that?”

“Well, it’s quite simple. Like I mentioned earlier, this isn’t the first time that someone tried to rob us. The last time I came, I put out a system. That red button I put in front of me was the button to activate the cage.” He explained. “Also, I put a protection under my suit so if I got shot, I wouldn’t die” he added. Wow, he really did think this out. He was amazing. Way more than she used to see in him. She could feel her heart flutter again. He suddenly stood up and Ladybug gave him a longing look and a slight smile came across her face. Chat Noir walked towards her and noticed her smiling.

“Hey... Chat... thank you. Again. For saving me” she repeated. They were both pretty close to each other and were looking into each other’s eyes. Chat cleared his throat awkwardly, feeling a flutter in his stomach. Her eyes were looking deep into his, and it made him so flustered.

“Uh- you’re... you’re welcome. Like I said, it’s what partners do, right?” He smiled. “What friends do” he said with an soft tone. He was completely mesmerized; and she seemed to be just as much as he was. Ladybug looked at him with sparkles in her eyes. These last few weeks, she has felt differently about her partner. Frankly, she couldn’t understand why, at first. Now she could; Chat Noir was simply amazing. He was handsome, he was caring, he was sweet, he was funny... no wonder she was growing attached to him. What was that warm feeling in her chest? Was she falling for him? No, she couldn’t feel that way. They were partners, they had to keep it professional. She gulped but still managed to smile. “You really are the best, chaton” she whispered before putting herself on her tippy toes and kissed his cheek. She didn’t know why she did it, she just knew she felt like doing it. A blush came across both their cheeks. Flustered, Chat Noir looked at her and smiled shyly. Ladybug cleared her throat awkwardly. She could feel her partner let out a happy sigh.

“So... shall we continue our dinner?” He asked, giving her his arm. Ladybug gazed at him with a soft look and grinned.

“We shall” she replied as she took his arm and they both walked inside.

#miraculous ladybug #chat noir #ladybug #ml au yeah august #ladynoir #writing prompts #my writing #whoever got the ‘human sunbeam’ reference from andi mack i love you #ALSO THIS WAS CUTE OMFG IM SCREAMING #I love ladynoir so much

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wolfjawswriter · 6 years

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Single Daddy Issues - Lockwood x Lucy 1

“1st Day at Kindergarten”- Lockwood x Lucy

Lockwood and Co. Series

Summary: Gotta like the teacher!

AU: SingleDaddyAU!

—————Lockwood—————

“You’ve got your lunchbox, dear?”

“Yes daddy”

“And your crayons?”

“Yes daddy”

“And you brought your blanky?”

“Yes daddy”

I drove down the highway stealing glances on my rearview mirror at the little girl that sat on my car’s backseat: my beautiful daughter, Juniper Lockwood.

Ever since I was in high school, I knew what I’d dedicate my life to; my father’s law firm. I had carefully planned my whole life so that I would get the best grades in high school, go to the best college in London, or if possible somewhere abroad, graduate with honors and start my professional career as the family’s business new boss.

My plans hadn’t fail me; I met all my expectations with ease and was soon appointed the CEO of Lockwood and Co., but, you know how people say that there’s our plans and life’s plans for us? And life always gets away with what it wants?

Well, that is exactly what happened to me: one moment my ex-girlfriend from college was at the door of my apartment, and the next moment I had my arms full with a one-year-old girl this woman claimed was mine. And according to the medical tests I took, she was mine.

This was a terrible turn of events for me. I suddenly had to provide for myself and a brat I did not wanted! That’s where my sister, Jessica, came up.

I told her what happened and she came to see me a week after the incident. She had been absolutely delighted to see how much resemblance there was between me and the girl, spent almost an hour cooing at the baby.

Jessica offered me an easy way out of the situation; she’d take the girl away and raise her as her own with her husband and her other kids. Little Juniper would never know she was mine: to her I’d only be uncle Anthony. I had been so tempted to say yes, but by then I had already spent a week tending to the little headache, and honestly, I had started to understand what parents felt like. The joy and pride they got from their children. I suddenly understood why my sister put up with her baby sons.

So, of course I rejected the offer, and promised myself and my baby girl I’d make it work, somehow, someway, even if I was a single dad. After all, money was not an issue.

Today, four years later, was her first day at kindergarten, and I was honestly more nervous than she was. The company had been growing lately and I’d been very busy overseeing all new changes, and even though Jessica was always happy to look after Juniper, I knew she’d have to go to school soon. Just, why so soon?

My deputy, Quill Kipps, suggested this little day care, Little Angel Childcare Center, where his son, Bobby, is currently attending. For what I understood, it was a small but very reputable kindergarten, with excellent reviews, numerous certifications and diplomas, and was actually close to my workplace, but that was as far as my knowledge went. Jessica had made me the favor of attending the school tour for parents and kids and taking the enrollment package, since, due to my overpacked schedule, I hadn’t been able to go. She assured me it was a fine school, but I needed to see this place for myself.

I pulled on the parking lot and took an eyeful of the place. It was a small building, walls painted with bright rainbows and clouds and smiling suns. The playground outside was spacious, with hard plastic houses, sand pits, slides and swing sets. Other cars were parked here as well, with mothers and fathers helping their children off the car and taking them to the building, some kids crying and some others happy.

I took a deep breath and walked out of the car, opening the backseat’s door to help my daughter off her baby seater.

“Are you sure you’ll be alright?” I asked her one last time. Juniper looked at the building’s door where people entered and disappeared, then back at me with her big, brown eyes.

“Yes daddy”

“All right then, take my hand” The sight of unruly children was everywhere: running around the playground, the parking lot, the halls, crying or laughing, being pulled or chased by their annoyed parents. I made a mental reminder to praise Juniper later for being so well-behaved; cook her favorite dinner, and maybe watch a Disney movie with her before bedtime.

“Hey, Junie!” A woman greeted us as we walked down the hall. She was short, very short indeed, with brown hair, also cut short. She wore a sweater and a skirt over leggings, and a light yellow apron on top. Couldn’t be older than twenty “Welcome to your first day of class”

“Hi miss” Juniper shyly waved her tiny hand at her.

“You don’t have to greet the janitor, dear” I told my daughter. The woman raised an eyebrow and frowned, before grinning slyly at me.

“I am Juniper’s teacher” She said and pointed to the apron “This is just the uniform” Oh dear. My face heated up in embarrassment, but I decided to put it aside for appearance’s sake, so I raised my eyebrow at her.

“Who are you?”

“Name’s Lucy Carlyle. Very polite girl you’ve got here” She said as she ruffled Juniper’s freshly combed hair “You must be Anthony Lockwood, her dad. Though, you look kinda young to be a father”

And she looked much too young to be a fully licensed teacher, let me tell you!

“Yes, she is my daughter” I said putting my best business smile “Can I speak with the principal?”

“Headmistress Munro is not here right now” She said as she turned and guided us to the classroom, which’s floor was covered in colorful foam, with tiny table and chairs here and there. There were toys bins on one side of the room and bookshelves on the other, plus a TV on one of the walls “But I’m assuming there’ll be a few things you want to know before leaving Juniper in our care”

“Yes, are you a fully licensed teacher? Have you been trained in child psychology?”

“I’m majored in it” She said proudly “Mrs Jessica told us about your daughter, man, she’ll be okay here”

“What kind of snacks do you provide the kids with?”

“Biscuits, tea, milk, fruit, sometimes cake, and for those who stay in the afternoon hours, we give them a healthy meal at midday, its all supervised by the nutritionist” She listed off by memory and smiled “And, because I know you’ll ask, we do provide gluten-free options. But I see she brought her own lunch box”

“Daddy, can I play with the toys?” I heard Juniper ask quietly beside me.

“In a moment, darling” I pointed to the toy bins and eyed it suspiciously “How often are those cleaned?”

“We clean all the toys before morning starts, after class hours, during nap time and whenever any of them gets too dirty” Lucy took a doll from the bin my daughter her been eyeing and gave it to me so I could inspect it. I guess it was decent “She is your first child, isn’t she? That’s why you’re so, neurotic?” The teacher asked me with a smile.

I tried my best to look offended off my cavalries, but ended up sighing and racking a hand through my hair. My worries passed from leaving my daughter in this place to leaving my daughter with this careless woman. Why had Kipps suggested this place?

“I just want my daughter to be safe” I muttered. She rolled her eyes and shook her head, then patted my shoulder in empathetic manner.

“It alright, that’s what every parent wants, but you’re making this place look like some kind of horror movie orphanage, and I think you’re scaring her” I looked down to my little Juniper. She was wearing her Sleeping Beauty dress, her favorite Disney princess, with little dress shoes and pink socks. Her hand was still in mine, gripping it tightly in her own seek for comfort.

“Well, I’ll leave you to say your goodbyes, class will start in a few minutes” Lucy turned around and walked out of the room, calling for the kids to get inside.

I kneeled down on the foamed ground and cupped my daughter’s cheeks, her tiny hands coming to my hands.

“Daddy loves you, ok?” I said as reassuring as I could manage. June nodded her head firmly “If anything happens, if you’re not comfortable or if someone’s not being nice with you, just tell someone to call me and I’ll be here to pick you right away, alright?” Again she nodded her little head “Be nice”

“I will, daddy” I hugged her tightly and covered her forehead in kisses, making her giggle adorably. To pull away from the hug was the hardest thing I’ve ever done, but it eventually had to end. I stood my full height and turned to the teacher once again.

“I’ll leave you my number so you can call me if my daughter needs anything” I said, still in a business manner, but she still looked as cool as if she was at the beach. Goddamit, what do I have to do to make this woman to understand that my daughter was no joke?! “Give me your number as well”

“All right” Lucy took a piece of paper and wrote her number there, accepting the work card I gave her in which I wrote my number “Try calling at 10:00 or 12:00, that’s when we have playtime and lunch, and if you want to call during afternoon, I’d say you do between 3:00 and 4:00, we do arts and crafts then and play outside. I can’t assure you I’ll always be able to pick up, but if I don’t, just call the school”

“Well, if Juniper needs anything and I can’t pick up, just call Lockwood and Co.; my secretary will get me”

“Oh, you’re a lawyer?” Now, this information usually worked when you wanted to make someone respect you or fear you, and that was what I wanted; for her to understand that I was not all smiles and jokes when it came to my daughter. However, she didn’t seem the slightly bit affected by that knowledge, and only smiled again “That’s great! Well, I’d love to keep chatting, but class is in session, so I have to ask you to leave”

With one last glance at my baby girl playing sitting with her blanky on her lap, I walked out of the classroom. Once I was back in my car, I sighed worriedly and allowed myself to cry a little. Only a little.

#lockwood and co #Anthony lockwood #lucy carlyle #george cubbins #holly munro #quill kipps #flo bones #kate godwin #bobby vernon #Lucy x lockwood #lockwood x lucy #locklyle #lucewood

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richiefuckfacetozier · 6 years

Text

Chapter 11: Piece of My Heart

Story: It’s Not My Fault

Commission by @kseniadraws

Title - Piece of My Heart by Janis Joplin

Also on Archive of Our Own

For other chapters - | 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 | 11 | 12 | 13 | 14 | 15 | 16 | 17 | 18 | 19 | 20 | 21 | 22 | 23 | 24 |

This chapter is told from Richie's perspective and anything in italics is Richie's thoughts.

Richie woke up spread out on his bed in just his boxers. His head felt groggy and his body exhausted in a great way. He had easily had the best sleep in weeks. Did I dream that Eddie and I got busy last night? We definitely didn’t have sex but he still blew my fucking mind.

He slowly rose out of bed, grabbed his Rolling Stones band shirt from the floor then walked out the door to his bathroom.

He stopped in the middle of the hall because his house smelled delicious. Someone was cooking an incredible breakfast.

He bounded into the kitchen and stopped abruptly in the door frame. Eddie had his back to him, cooking bacon furiously. There were eggs, hash browns, French toast, fruit, and bagels. He was wearing Richie’s favorite blue sweater and it went to his thighs. The sleeves were rolled up 3 or 4 times. He also wore a pair of old pajama pants that did not fit Richie but looked great on Eddie. Everything looks perfect on Eddie.

Richie’s mother was drinking coffee and reading a book, her breakfast plate halfway finished. Richie’s jaw opened in shock.

“Am I in an alternate universe?” Richie blurted out.

His mother looked up and rolled her eyes. “Hello, Richie.” Then went back to eating.

“Hello mother,” Richie responded slowly, “If that is your real name. You seem to be looking...sober.” His mother shot him a nasty glare but did not retort.

“Good morning, Rich!” Eddie said cutting through the tension with extra cheeriness. He did not turn to look at Richie which made him anxious. How do I play this? Be cool. Don’t show you are in love with him or he will kill you.

“Morning, DUDE. Making breakfast for my mother? She’s a married woman, Eddie. Even if the ass is never around.” His mother scoffed and Richie saw Eddie’s shoulders tense. He went to stand next to Eddie and picked a piece of bacon straight out of the pan. “OUCH FUCK!” He dropped the bacon and cradled his fingers to his chest.

“Richie! You idiot!” Eddie turned off the stove, grabbed Richie’s hand and pulled him over to the sink. He shoved Richie’s hand under the faucet and ran warm water over it.

“Should I grab anything?” His mother asked awkwardly.

“I just stocked your first aid supplies in the cabinet over there.” Eddie pointed behind him. “There is burn cream and bandages inside.”

Eddie inspected his hand as they kept the water running over it. “What’s the damage Dr. K?”

Eddie clicked his tongue in annoyance, “Imbecile disease and a burn. The burn we can treat. The disease not so much.”

Richie laughed and reached across the counter with his not burned hand to grab a piece of French toast. “That’s alright. I’ve lived with the disease my whole life.” He shoved it in his mouth and immediately groaned in delight. “This tastes fucking amazing.”

“Here.” His mother handed Eddie the supplies, picked up her plate of food and left the kitchen.

“Helpful bitch.” Richie mumbled.

Eddie did not respond but his expression softened. He turned off the water and dried off Richie’s hand. He glanced at the kitchen entrance then brought Richie’s hand to his mouth to kiss.

“You alright?” Eddie whispered his cheeks tinted pink. Richie smiled then kissed his cheek quickly, which only made them turn redder.

Richie sighed, “Hey Eds?”

“Don’t call me Eds. I don’t call you ‘Chee’.” Eddie said wittily.

Richie did not answer right away, his mouth had gone dry and his eyes were scanning Eddie obviously. Eddie looked at him with a raised eyebrow waiting for him to say something.

“I was just so turned on at the thought of you calling me ‘Chee’ that I completely forgot what I was going to ask you.” He responded.

Eddie glared at him and let go of his hand. “I’m not fucking calling you ‘Chee’. Get out of my house.”

Richie laughed, “This is my house!”

“What’s your point?” Eddie huffed out. Richie knew he was not actually mad because he made a plate of food for him.

“Thanks! Everything smells fucking amazing. I don’t think I have ever seen this much food in my kitchen in...ever.” Richie began shoving food into his mouth barely taking time to chew or breathe.

“Slow down, Richie! You are going to make yourself vomit.” Eddie grabbed a plate for himself and sat across from him. “And eat fruit, it’s good for you.”

“Yeah yeah.” Richie snagged a banana and peeled it slowly. He made the hardest contact with Eddie as he did it. Eddie’s eyes widened. Then he licked the side of the banana slowly bringing his tongue to the top and took a vicious bite out of it.

Eddie’s voice shook as he said, “I have officially decided you are never coming near my dick with your mouth. Honestly, I don’t know if I want you to kiss me ever again.”

“We’ll see,” Richie smirked. “Oh! You know what we should do today?! Practice driving! Since we have MY car now.” Richie said ‘my car’ with so much pride, it made Eddie smile.

That smile faltered a bit as he answered, “Oh...um...about that…” Eddie began hesitantly. “The others tried to teach me and it went horribly. I had a panic attack just about every time. Even made Ben cry.”

“Shit Eddie. That’s hilarious.” Richie put eggs, bacon, and potatoes in between a bagel. He took a comical bite with almost all the food falling out.

“I cannot handle you.” Eddie shook his head.

“Wont no unless ve try.” Richie said with food spitting everywhere.

“Attractive,” Eddie said dryly.

Richie swallowed quickly, “I think it will be different with me teaching. I’m calmer than the rest of them.”

“I don’t think I would use calm to describe you. Undiagnosed ADHD probably. Calm, not so much. But we can try it though.” Eddie shivered and clung to the sweater a little tighter. “Fuck, I am so cold.”

“Me too. Mind if I use your thighs as earmuffs?” Richie grinned at Eddie’s horror.

He managed to choke out an indignant, “Richie!”

“We haven’t seen each other in two weeks. I have about 50 plus pickup lines to catch up with.” Richie ducked as Eddie threw a bagel at his head, which made them laugh until their sides hurt.

They kept eating and enjoying each other’s company. Richie began picturing this as what living together would be like. After they went to Vermont, he wondered where he and Eddie would end up when they graduated next year. Even when they were just friends, he always loved the thought of them being together forever. Would we get a house? Or an apartment in a city? Do we go to the same college? I may not even go to college. Could we be together in that way? Like a regular couple. We are two guys in love but what’s next…

“Did you hear me Richie?” Eddie’s voice slashed through the daydream. Richie shook his head apologetically.

Eddie gave him an exasperated expression but continued anyway, “I restocked your kitchen this morning with food and most of your house with cleaning supplies. I was thinking we should clean it up. It is looking pretty shitty.”

“Can we do it later?” Richie whined like a 5-year-old. “I want to hang out, we haven’t hung out in forever.”

Eddie tapped the top of the table with his hand contemplating then sighed, “Alright, we can hang out. Do you want me to call the rest of the Losers?”

“No, I see them fucking plenty and school starts up again tomorrow so I will see them then. I want to hang out just us.” Richie brought his hand forward to hold Eddie’s small one. Eddie glanced at the kitchen entrance again but relaxed into the touch. The ring he gave Eddie for his birthday was still there on his pinky. I wonder what it would be like for it to be on his ring finger. Probably would not fit because it’s so small and...did I just legitimately think about marriage to Eddie?

Richie’s eyes flicked to Eddie’s brown eyes. He always loved looking into them because they were so unique with silverish grey flecks sparkling in them. He loved when they turned dark like storm clouds any time he was angry. Or horny. Hee hee.

Richie was about to bring his face forward to kiss him but Eddie shook his head and removed his hand. “Sorry, Rich.”

“Me too.” Richie said in frustration. It drove him crazy that they could not be affectionate except behind closed doors. What he would give to just hold Eddie’s hand in public or kiss him whenever.

“Alright, well, I need to go home and change. Also, to check in with ma, so she knows I am alive.” Eddie picked up their plates and started washing the dishes.

“I’ll quickly shower and drive you over.” Richie stood behind Eddie placing his hands on his hips.

“Richie…” Eddie warned.

Richie smirked and moved to flush his body against Eddie’s back.

“I’m serious...” Eddie tried to wiggle out of the grasp but Richie was too strong.

He lowered his lips to Eddie’s ear whispering, “Call...me…’Chee’ and I’ll stop.”

“Not on your life.” Eddie put the plates down and went to spin his body around. Richie put his hands over Eddie’s arms trapping him up against the counter.

“Your mother could fucking walk in!” Eddie angry whispered struggling to free himself.

“So what if she does?” Richie argued. “She already knows about me.”

“But not about me and I don’t want it to get back to Mom!” Richie let go of Eddie at that. Eddie spun around glaring up at him.

“So how long until you tell your mom?” Richie asked boldly. Eddie’s eyes widened in confusion. “Next month? Next year? When we graduate? When we move in together? When we get married and have kids? Never?” He said every question mockingly in about as nasty a tone as Richie could make. It was working because Eddie looked like a beat up pup.

Richie turned and left the kitchen. He all of a sudden felt mad and upset at himself. That was cruel. I shouldn’t have said those things.

“Rich, wait.” Eddie’s nervous voice called from down the hall.

“I’ll be out in a couple of minutes.” He said harshly as he rushed into the bathroom and closed the door.

The drive to Eddie’s house was not silent but there was obvious tension between them. Richie tried cracking jokes but none of them quite landed correctly. Eddie would laugh at them except it was like he could not really hear him and was just going through the motions.

He parked in front of Eddie’s house and Richie went to unbuckle his seat belt to go with him but Eddie stopped him.

“Babe, can you um…stay in the car. I just...you know how Mom can be…” Eddie was stroking Richie’s arm in a soothing way.

The earlier rage was bubbling to the surface again. “Sure, whatever. I already gave her some good loving last night. Oh wait, that was her son. Easy to get them mixed up.” He tried to smile to show it was a joke but he knew it came out a sneer.

Eddie punched Richie’s shoulder hard, “Beep beep, asshole.” He opened the door and slammed it shut.

Richie rubbed the now bruising spot on his arm watching Eddie march into his house. I need to cool it or else this day is going to be shit. We literally go two weeks without seeing each other and it’s like I don’t know how to talk to him.

Those two weeks were just as painful for Richie as he knew they were for Eddie. Stuck in his house, desperately forcing his mother to eat food or drink water. He would talk to her constantly even when she told him to shut up and go away. On a particularly drunk night, she said Richie would be better off without her. This confession scared him shitless, he tried to get ahold of his dad but his work had no idea where he was fucking around. Richie just wanted to be held by Eddie and told everything was going to be alright but instead, he was trapped in a personal hell. He wanted to tell Eddie all this except the burden belonged to him and him alone.

Eddie came back bundled up in a big coat. He opened the door and went to hand over Richie’s sweater but Richie pushed it back toward him.

“Rich, I’m not taking your favorite sweater.” Eddie demanded.

“I want you to have it my twizzler.” Richie said softly gazing at Eddie apologetically.

“Ok.” Eddie paused for a moment, then removed his winter coat and sweater to put the blue one instead. They grinned at each other, Eddie still standing outside the car.

“That sweater looks great on you...as a matter of fact, so would I.” Richie wiggled his eyebrows which made Eddie’s nose wrinkle in disgust. “God, you are so cute.” Richie said in wonder.

“Shut up...” Eddie mumbled but a blush was sprinkling his cheeks. “I like that the sweater smells like you.”

Richie beamed at him letting his irrational anger ebb away. “So! Let’s start your driving lesson!” Richie got out of the car and headed over to the passenger side.

Eddie stared at Richie then at the car in alarm. “Now?! No, no, I’m not ready.”

Richie stood in front of him smiling. “There is no ‘ready’ or ‘not ready’ with driving. You just do it. Let’s go! To the driver's side with you.”

“Fuck me…” Eddie sighed.

“Maybe later.” Richie replied laughing at the glare Eddie shoots him.

“If this doesn’t work...I mean, who gets this anxious driving? what is everyone going to say?” Eddie took a step closer to Richie as if he wanted to be physically comforted but he stopped himself from touching Richie.

Richie quickly pushed Eddie’s bangs to the side to give some lite contact then removed his hand. “I think it's time I tell you what people are saying behind your back...‘Nice ass!’”

Eddie tried to look angry but broke into a huge smile. “You are an idiot.” Then trekked over to the other side of the car. Eddie sat in the driver’s seat trying to adjust the seat, steering wheel, and mirrors to his exact liking.

“You are so fucking tall, it is not fair.” Eddie complained as he brought the seat much closer to the pedals.

Richie grinned at his struggle, “I like being taller than you. Makes me feel like I can protect you from anything. Even though you are usually the one protecting me.”

Eddie raised an eyebrow, “Protecting you from what?”

“Myself.” Richie shrugged.

“I don’t know Richie. Remember when I spilled popcorn from the balcony of the movie theater onto Bowers' head? You were the one that poured soda after so it looked like it was your fault.” Eddie recalled. “You have always protected me.”

Richie barked out a laugh, “That was a fucking fantastic day! The look on his face was priceless. But you protect me from my own mouth and accept me for all my glaring flaws.”

“When you love someone, you barely notice they have flaws.” Eddie admitted biting his lower lip subconsciously.

Richie felt his heart clench and could not take it anymore. He put his hand on the side of Eddie’s face and brought their lips together. Eddie let him returning the kiss but broke away quickly glancing out the windows to make sure passersby had not seen them.

“And when I am going through shit...like now...you try to help.” Richie breathed out slowly still holding onto Eddie’s face to ground himself. “The only reason I felt safe leaving the house today was because Mom actually ate food. She was drinking coffee, Eds?! Without added whiskey to make it Irish. I honestly thought I walked into someone else’s house.”

“She was a lot nicer to me than last night.” Eddie smiled anxiously. “That may have been because I handed her Tylenol and water the minute she walked in. Then fixed her a plate of food fast so she would not argue.”

“She probably doesn't remember last night and oh my god...you asshole.” Richie smiled. Eddie grinned mischievously which confirmed his suspicions. “You used to do that with me!”

“You were starving yourself!” Eddie complained.

“Listen, I just went a couple days without lunch in 9th grade. It wasn’t a big deal.” Richie shook his head.

Eddie pointed his finger threateningly, “No, you went without lunch practically every day for 2 years because your family couldn’t be bothered to stock your fridge.”

“Well, my job at the record store helps pay for my lunches now.” Richie shook his head. “I can’t believe you tricked my mom the same way you used to trick me. Put food in front of a hungry person before they can refuse.”

“You Tozier’s are easily manipulated.” Eddie joked. Richie’s face fell a little. “I’m sorry. That wasn’t meant to be mean. Rich...I…”

“Eddie, it’s fine. It is true. My mom is manipulated every day staying with my dad.” He looked out the window and added darkly, “Drinking herself into an early grave.”

Eddie took his hand. “Hey,” he waited until Richie slowly met his eyes, “We will figure this out. Together. No more doing it alone shit. Promise me?”

Richie nodded slowly.

“Great! Now, show me how to drive this screaming metal death trap.”

They started out slowly driving through the neighborhood. Things were going alright even though Eddie was extremely tense. He was doing a really good job but kept arguing with Richie the whole time. Richie ignored him and just continued giving instructions which Eddie obeyed automatically.

“Turn left here. Don’t forget to indicate.”

“Oh god oh shit oh Jesus…” Eddie repeated under his breath.

“You are doing so well, Eds.” Richie reassured.

“No, I’m not. I am so bad at this. I hate it.” Eddie turned the wheel slowly as he crossed the intersection and made a perfect left turn.

Richie smirked, “If you're feeling down, I can feel you up.”

“Why can’t you be serious?!” Eddie whined as he kept driving through the streets with no problem.

“Oh! I got another one! Are you a parking ticket?” Richie looked at him seeing if he knew what was coming. Eddie kept his eyes forward as Richie said, “Cause you’ve got fine written all over you.”

“You are a monster.” Eddie groaned.

“Hey, I’m pretty and you’re cute. Together we’d be Pretty Cute.” Richie grinned delightedly.

“Alright, that one was actually nice.” Eddie said begrudgingly.

“I would tell you a joke about my penis, but it’s too long!” Richie had already started to laugh as he said the last terrible pickup line.

“Fuck you, Richie! GOD!” Eddie yelled.

“Ok parallel park into that spot there.” Richie pointed to the curb.

Eddie shook his head, “This is not going to work Richie, you are just too distracting and...”

“Great parking job, Eds!” Richie cheered.

“You aren’t listening to me, Rich!” Eddie claimed.

“Alright, put it in reserve and backup.” Richie coaxed. Eddie immediately did what Richie asked still rambling on. “And put the car in park! You did it!”

Eddie ceased talking and looked at his parking job. It suddenly occurred to him that he had driven, done an unprotected left turn, parallel parked, and backed up perfectly.

“Richie! You are a fucking genius!” Eddie squealed with delight.

Richie shrugged, “It was all you. I merely gave directions.”

Eddie leaned over grabbing Richie’s face to capture his lips in a kiss. Successfully driving seemed to make Eddie euphoric. He broke contact to climb over the console and straddle Richie’s lap.

“Holy shit Eds!” Richie said excitedly. “I'll need to teach you things more often.”

“Shut up and kiss me.” Eddie breathed.

“Fuck yeah,” Richie kissed Eddie hard and when Eddie moved his lips to Richie’s neck he moaned. He reached up under Eddie’s shirt, his cool hands on Eddie’s bare sides. Eddie unbottuned Richie's shirt preventing him from thinking straight, he could only breathe. They found themselves getting lost in making-out. Forgetting where they were. Just being normal teenagers for once.

Eddie eventually slipped back into the driver’s seat. Richie slowly buttoned his shirt back up. They were quiet for a little bit, then Richie laced his fingers with Eddie’s. “Hey,” Eddie looked over at him with a smile. “I missed you so much during this break.”

“I missed you too, Richie.”

Richie shook his head, “No, like. I miss you all the time. When you are gone, when you talk to someone other than me, when you fall asleep first...it is hard to explain. So even if it did not seem like it, I really did miss you these past two weeks. I love you, Eds.”

Eddie’s eyes welled up as he leaned over and kissed him softly on the lips. Then he patted Richie on the chest, “Dude,” he said, “I just have to tell you that you buttoned your shirt wrong.”

Which in Eddie Kaspbrak language clearly meant, ‘I love you, too. Maybe forever.’

Mature Ending

@sammy8675309 @slashpalooza @ohheydatsme @dandeliontozier @reddie-brasil @takemetothetide

#richie tozier #eddie kaspbrak #reddie #thetheatregal reddie fanfiction #the losers club #it 2017 #it fanfiction #it fandom #gay #bill denbrough #beverly marsh #ben hanscom #stanley uris #mike hanlon #Shannon writes #It's Not My Fault

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alyjojo · 3 years

Text

20 memories & isms I love about you.

1. He sent me flowers at work. Twice 🥰

2. He left work to help me fix my tire, outside my ex’s house. Never drove on a highway before that day. (no I shouldn’t have dated the guy, but that particular Gemini is the asc degree of our composite chart, he’s the reason we ever met at all, and hubby is the reason we broke up so...lesson learned)

3. He made me eat his mom’s food. Not only that but excitedly. He’d be like “mom is making hot spaghetti and you’re gonna come over and have some”...I’d say no thx 20 times but he wasn’t hearing it. Hot spaghetti day. I felt weird having someone’s mom cook for me. She probably felt weird too tbh, but he was so over the top happy about mom, food, and me, that it didn’t seem to matter and worked out fine 😆

4. He’s so forward, and bold as hell. I’m irritatingly shy and very guarded. Literally the only way he got me was because he’d act before I could really even think about it or think myself out of it. Winners mind.

5. He moved me into his moms house. I was not ok. Not not not. My pride is...well it exists, and burns like fire whenever help is given. I will never ask in all my life and idc, feels better that way. Will gladly die first. My rotors were broken though (I could write a book just about car problems fr), I needed two and it was gonna take awhile. I’d be in the city and he’d be way out there. He’s like nah. You stay. He insisted...and I stayed. Staying was not a me thing, he changed that.

6. He gave me a baby. After all of the years I didn’t have periods, needed pills to have a normal body, all of the times I talked myself out of that sort of life altogether because I clearly didn’t have the guy (ex was not a kid guy) or the working body parts to even do that, must not be for me. First time in our new apartment, boom baby.

7. First time in our slightly bigger and nicer apartment, boom baby 2. We started actually using protection after she was born. Clearly we can.

8. He worked stupidly long hours and put up with so many people that just had no fn clue, it put a strain on everything, most of all him. When he got the offer for Indy, I pushed it. And pushed it. And pushed. May as well have pushed him right out the door, we were going, because those people suck and you’ll never get the chance to be seen while you’re doing that glorified delivery guy’s job for him. We’re going. So, we did, and he got me out of this damn state. At least once.

9. He loved getting lost with me, and it was my favorite thing. Indiana is a beautiful state and I encourage anyone to get lost there, on purpose.

10. I forgot work. He caused some serious change. Everyone else lost their job, including hubby’s favorite person ever, Jonathan. Today he’s the sole survivor of a mom and pop shop, and I’m so unbelievably proud of him. The best part though, is two of the guys from work used to come see me at my new work all the time, with all their bar bitches 😆 They were my favorite people, I was always so excited to see them. Hubby tried to get them back on, and did for one of them. And when the bigger boss needed a new smaller boss bc hubby was leaving the state, hubby fought like hell for Jonathan. Like Highlander, there can only be one *sksksksksksk* They looked at a couple and hubs was like no only Jon knows the ways of the force. They hired him back, Jon has sent him some of the sweetest thank you messages...it changed his life, and hubs still loves him very much. It’s adorable.

11. Screamy baby Shmoo, she was a screamy baby, and so very beautiful. Baby Bam was like a dream, she was the perfect baby in every way. My screamy baby Shmoo was also a perfect baby, with a pitch that could break glass and sometimes she just wanted to practice for hours. Usually I got her to bed with mama snuggles & milk, singing Alison Krauss and rocking. Sometimes though, on the roughest nights, it’d be over an hour before I’d open the door with screamy baby still in a fit, and he’d take her. He’s so warm and calm, he’d win every single time, and I’d be like...zzzzz tysm ily tyty zzzz....

12. His jokes. He’s not funny (yes he is don’t tell him). He thinks he’s funny. He jokes all day every day about everything always. The girls know when dad says something to be skeptical bc he said they gotta go outside and till the land with tiny shovels, and when I roll my eyes they know he’s full of it. What’s funnier, his mom was the kind of person that took things literally always. Every time him and his goofy dad were being sarcastic, I’d have to tell her that because they’d have her believing crazy stuff. My kids share a lot of her isms, that’s one. My son absolutely does not joke, he is quite literal (so far), and I always have to scold hubby or tell lil guy nooooo he’s kidding. I don’t talk about his silliness nearly enough and I should, that’s him ❤️

13. His relationship with his mom. His mom was always on the...I wouldn’t say weaker side, but older, regular pain, on disability. He was her BABY. Her eyes lit up like Christmas when he entered the room. She loves him so so much. His sister... You know the kind, or...just imagine, probably close. He hated it. He got his job pretty young and just kept it. Always had money, always offered to help his mom, always was like IM FINE MOM. She just wanted to do for him, and he’s always been the kind of guy that wants to do for himself. And she was so funny, she’d slip $20 into the diaper bag and tell me “don’t tell him”, putting it on me. So we’d get in the car. And I’d be like there’s $20 in the diaper bag, knowing he’s gonna be pissed if he finds it (she needs it). And he’d get it, run into the house, set it on her table, and run out the door while she ran after him hollering protests 😆 Lots of other stories too. I miss her so much, I can’t even imagine how much he must.

14. His relationship with his sister, and other whirlwind people. He’s like a rock. I’ve spent lots of time with his sister, but not at once. The one day I did, I came home and my brain was so full of her bazillion ideas and impulsive let’s do this and just one thing, opposite thing, different subject, back to the subject, hey let’s do this, omg I have an idea. I love her to death but I had to sit and just...dump my brain. Ask myself for my own input bc I’d lost wtf...what were we doing again?!? Him though? Doesn’t miss a beat. No...no...no...I’ll think about it...no...no..change subject. No issue saying no. Back then I was like thank god, girl would have me on a cruise to Aruba tomorrow with costume jewelry and black face before I could even think to protest. Not him.

15. Making up. The difference between Taurus moon and Sag moon is that Taurus moon stays mad for the rest of their lives (hello...) and Sag moon wakes up in the morning like nothing happened in the history of ever. This was something that irritated me THE MOST. Don’t make me laugh, I’m pissed at you. Over the years, it became the only way we’d talk at all sometimes. Is certainly the only reason we made up, countless times. He never stopped trying to make me smile, even if I wanted nothing to do with it.

16. Acts of Service. Is not mine, which is either words time or touch and I really can’t decide which. All. He speaks a whole other language. He will let me nap, or take the kids somewhere, he will spontaneously clean or go grocery shopping, walk the dog, mow the lawn, hang out at the birthday party. It didn’t start right away, more and more as he learned my isms. He’ll make me coffee as I’m coming down the stairs. I rarely have to ever ask for any practical thing. He knows my orders for anything, recently there’s been twice that he literally read my mind before I spoke. I try to do the same for him as much as I can, because I know that’s his language and I really appreciate him.

17. Bedroom games. The man knows my body like a map, no, an Excel spreadsheet 😭, and how to get every reaction he’s looking for. He is the only man to ever satisfy my insatiable ass. He made me a whole new person in that regard. He says the same about me. Never an issue there. It’s this far down the list cuz it’s not the most important, but it’s pretty important too so there that is.

18. We share the same goals. We judge the same way, like why did they wrap this like that it looks sketchy. We parent the same. We decide the same. We critically think and weigh ideas the same. We walk the same line in the same direction. If anything he’s too negative sometimes, but that’s his own personal thing. Can’t be full of Capricorn and not lean more toward pessimism (not “realism”) sometimes I think. If it’s worth it, I’ll try to coax him to middle ground. Sometimes it’s a battle, but only if I’m really sure. Usually, he’s right, so I just let him lead.

19. When I was pregnant with my son. Initially. It was hell. His car was trashed, mine was broken and thousands of dollars to fix (this particular car in this particular year has this and what a coincidence it was particularly my problem...cars, I’m telling ya). I was two feet out the door with his shit, but his sister’s issues led to my heart. Because her kids. I love them very much, of course they can stay here and not with some strange person hell no. I cannot describe how angry I was at him. HE strapped backpacks onto his back and walked to the nearest store. Hauled so much crap in a huge backpack and just his arms. Over the course of two months. He quit drinking. He went above and beyond to do get offer or provide anything I could even imagine. More romantic then I think I’d ever seen him before. At least...it had been some time anyway. Of course...he was lying to me. The whole time. To what extent idk. Regarding the work shit, idk. Thus the question and the dream and the crazy and the...crazy 😞 Wanted to piss me off boy he got that tenfold. His actions during this time period are 💯 why I stayed. He was clearly trying like hell to prove to me he could try, and it’s more than anyone I’ve ever known has even bothered to “bother” with. I was impressed, and proud. Respect counts for a lot more than love sometimes, and at the time I respected him.

20. He’s an amazing father. There are so many stories I couldn’t possibly write them all. Our son though, he chose daddy, right from the start. Nothing like our daughters, nor any kid I’d known. He’d scream, FOR his dad. He’d only sleep on his shoulder. Hubby held this baby for hours on end. If he didn’t baby would demand it, but it was very natural to them both. Baby wanted a bottle, and hubby to give it to him. It blew my mind. Hubby got his little teammate and together they’ve changed my life and perspective in ways I couldn’t have ever imagined.

I’ve spent so long sporadically venting on here that I don’t think I’ve ever posted the sweet things. So many great memories and daily...everything...are missing, so many years and little moments. That would take forever. Its always been my frustrations, which was the purpose. This is my heart. No matter what happens, all of these things will always be true.

#I love him with all my heart

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munofsilver · 6 years

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Hidden Secret Chapter 3

There is something on Nathaniel's mind, not just Malissa this time. Chloe, on the other hand, doesn't want to deal with her father's negativity. Ao3 link.

Sadly Chloe didn't make the trail mix like she wanted to. She couldn't stop thinking about him. “Why was he everywhere today?” She growls. “At work, lunch, the store. What do I have to do to get him away from me?” She just about screams. A knock on her door stops her from pacing around her room. “Come in,” she calls out facing the door. Her father comes in. “Hello, princess.” He takes a seat on her couch. “Hello, daddy.” She sits down next to her father.

“It's been a month, Chloe. When will you stop this? You don't need this, I can buy you whatever you need,” he sighs. Her father always goes straight to the point. “I know, daddy. You did that for me since I was six,” Chloe leans back. She knows where this is going. Right now she doesn't want to deal with this.“I just don't see why you don't want me to buy you what you need or want,” he looks sadly at his only child. “Daddy, I want to be able to do things on my own and not rely on you or your money,” now Chloe is the one that sighs. “I just don't understand,” he whispers. Just what he said last time.

[Yup flashback time] “Are you serious, Chloe?” A shocked major is sitting behind his desk. “Like I said, Daddy. I want you to stop paying my rent.” “Princess, you have no rent.” “Then make me pay rent.” “You can't be serious.” “Yes, I am Daddy.” Chloe crosses her arms. “I also want a job, and I'm going to get one,” Chloe spoke with pride. “A what?! Why?” “So I can earn my own money.” “I just don't understand.” [Flashback over now]

“When will you stop this, Princess?” Chloe gets up and walks towards the window. While looking out the window she answered. I want to do this on my own, Daddy.” She checks the time. “Sorry, Daddy I have to go. I don't want to be late for class.” Chloe puts her wig back on and changes into Malissa's street clothes. She hugs her father and rushes out the door. Sabrina is waiting in her car for “Malissa.” They both are in the same cooking class.

Nathaniel is heading out when he drove pass Malissa place. At least the place he thinks she lives at. Stopping at a red light close to the building, he looks at the building again. “I wonder what apartment number she lives in.” He quickly turns to face the street light. “I got to stop thinking about her.” “Who are you talking about?” Asked Lila, Nathaniel had forgotten she was in the car. “Just a student from my Art class,” Nathaniel answered hoping she doesn't notice the look on his face.

“Anyways, thanks for driving me to the airport,” Lila hummed. She didn't notice the look of embarrassment on his face. Nathaniel glanced at the building in the rearview mirror. “You're welcome. Glad to do it,” he chirped. “How long will you be gone?” Nathaniel speeds up a bit, but not too fast. “Just for a few months. After my cousin’s wedding I'm going to visit my old hometown for a while, and visit some old places I use to travel too with my parents,” Lila beams with excitement. “Sounds like fun,” Nathaniel glances at Lila. “I wish you could come with,” Lila wined. Nathaniel smiles, “I know, I have a class to teach and a tattoo parlor to run.”

“The class could have started later. I told you about this trip five months ago when I got the invitation,” Lila joking glares at Nathaniel. “That is true, I can't leave my tattoo parlor for a few months,” Nathaniel Ingres the fake glare. “I guess that's true. I will miss you when I'm gone.” “Really now?” Nathaniel asks. “Why wouldn't I? You were joking weren't you?” Lila joking slapped Nathaniel. It didn't hurt but he acted like it did. Now at the airport, Nathaniel pulls over so Lila can get out. He helps get her suitcase out. “I'll call you when I'm settled in,” Lila smiles and Nathaniel nods. Then Lila grabs Nathaniel by the shirt and kisses him on the lips.

During class, Chloe paid extra attention to the teacher. She reads all the intrusions of the cooking project for today’s class. They are learning how to make spaghetti with tomato sauce, clam chowder, and macaroons. Chloe is having fun when its time to do the cooking, Chloe enjoys cooking. Sabrina and her talk while cooking. “How do you like the book so far?” Sabrina asked draining the noddles. “I'm enjoying it very much. I'm halfway through it.” Chloe tastes the clam chowder.

“I was thinking after work before class tomorrow, would you like to go to the bookstore with me?” Chloe starts to work on the macaroons. “I would like that. When is your shift over?” Sabrina beams with joy. “5 but my Art class starts at 7.” “I'll be there at 4:30.” They both laugh. Once the food was done, there were 10 minutes left of class, the teacher walks around to taste her students finished meals.

She would comment on each and move on to the next. When she got to Malissa and Sabrina table Sabrina is a bit nervous and Chloe is excited. The teacher tasted their work. “Malissa and Sabrina very good just like last time. I must say the sauce is a bit thick though, but I do like the flavor. Did you add anything?” Sabrina looks a Chloe, and Malissa raises her hand. “Yes, Mrs. Schwanke. I know you said that it's good to experiment with spices once in a while. So I added some basil leaves and garlic to the sauce,” she whispers.

“Good job experimenting. Be careful sometimes it can backfire,” Mrs. Schwanke warns them both and moves on. “Good idea with the garlic and basil. I was wondering why you were looking at the spice rack earlier,” Sabrina laughs. With class done and over with plus a new at home project to do, they packed up the leftovers split them up evenly and head out. “Can I stay at your house tonight?” Chloe asked getting in the car.

“Sure, why?” Sabrina starts the car. “I just don't want to put up with my dad right now,” Chloe sighs. Sabrina looks at her. “Is he trying to get you to stop this?” Chloe nods. “I understand. Sure you can.” She drives off home.

Nathaniel can't stop thinking about what happened. 'Why did Lila kiss me like that? Is Lila interest in me?' He keeps asking those same questions over and over as he drives home. He passes that place again. While watching at a red light he sees Sabrina getting out of a car with Malissa. “Does that mean they live together? I should call Sabrina and see.” Nathaniel and Sabrina exchange numbers when she took his pottery class a year ago.

For some reason, a look of sadness appears on his face, as his mind goes back to Lila and the kiss. Then for some reason, Lila turns into Malissa. A car horn honking snaps Nathaniel back and he drives. “Maybe I just need to clear my head,” he said as he changes his direction and heads to his studio instead of home.

“Would you like something to drink?” Sabrina asked heading towards the kitchen. “Yes, water please,” Chloe take a seat on the couch. “Do you want to talk about it?” Sabrina hands her a bottled water. “Thank you. Sabrina, do you think what I'm doing is a mistake?” Sabrina sits down next to Chloe. “Of course not. I'm proud of you for doing this. I just wish you didn't do this as Malissa.” Chloe closes her eyes and pulls off her wig. “So do I, Sabrina so do I.”

“Why do you use the disguise then?” Sabrina takes a sip of her water. “My father wanted me too.” Chloe went quite and Sabrina understands. “I'll set up and couch for you, and give you a ride to work in the morning.” “That sound nice. Thank you.” Chloe smiles. She helps Sabrina get the couch ready, even though Sabrina said she didn't need too. Sabrina does like that Chloe is being nicer.

It's 3 am and Nathaniel is still in his studio, he was drawing, then he was painting, now he's working with clay. Not making anything just messing around with the clay. Nothing seems to help he keeps thinking about the kiss with Lila, Malissa, and the vision of kissing Malissa.

He stops when he notices the time. “I'm not sure I'll be able to get to enough sleep to open the parlor on time.” He looks at the lump of clay in front of him. “I'll be lucky if I can get any sleep tonight.” He sends a text to someone. Right now Alix is asleep but Nathaniel knows that she will get the message in the morning.

Nathaniel puts everything away and cleans up. He's unsure if he should still have his class. He just not sure what to think. The poor redhead has a feeling that he should have a nice chat with his younger sister. A very tired artist decides to try to get some sleep when he finally gets home. Poor tomato boy was so drained he didn't even make it to his room. He slumped down on the couch looking at the ceiling fan.

“Hello, Mr. Kurtzberg you wanted to see me?” Malissa is standing in the doorway of Nathaniel's Art classroom in his studio. Nathaniel was painting and covered in paint, he turns around to see her. “Yes, I did. Please take a seat.” Malissa does what he asked. “I hope you don't mind the paint,” Nathaniel steps towards her. “At least you're wearing a smock,” Malissa giggles. Nathaniel takes it off and hangs it on the hook on the wall. “It seems you got some on your shirt also,” Malissa points at him.

Nathaniel looks down at his shirt. “That's why I always wear old shirts while painting.” They both laugh. Then Nathaniel takes off his shirt and Malissa is now standing in front of him taking off her coat. They start kissing and holding each other. Nathaniel leans her against his desk as the kiss deepen. From her lips to her neck Nathaniel keeps kissing and starts nipping.

BEEP BEEP BEEP

Nathaniel wakes up. He forgot the alarm on his phone was still on. With a grunt, he turns off his alarm and goes back to sleep. Now instead of Malissa, it's Lila he's making out with shirtless. Nathaniel wakes up again. “This is bad. I think I have a crush on both.” Nathaniel takes a shower to calm down. Then he calls his younger sister. Before that, he did notice that Alix did see his text and will look after his parlor today.

Chloe was glad she didn't see Nathaniel this morning. She had a feeling he would start coming in every day now. That doesn't matter she'll be seeing him at class tonight. After her break when she came in the first person there was Nathaniel with someone Chloe never seen before, but she does have the same color eyes as Nathaniel. Wait a minute she remembers hearing him talk about his younger sister a few times back in college.

[Childhood flashback] “Hey, Nathaniel would you like to come with us to the music festival?” asked Alix standing between Max and Kim. “Sorry I can't. Unless you don't mind if I bring my younger sister with.” Nathaniel closes his sketchbook. “Bring her with. We like hanging out with, Natalie,” Kim smiles. “She does want to go to the music festival, this would work out great,” Nathaniel stands up. The four talk about their plans with Natalie, Nathaniel's younger sister. “Are you going to the music festival, Chloe?” Sabrina asked as she files Chloe's nails. “Sabrina who is this Natalie I keep hearing? Is there a new student?” Chloe is looking around for the fresh meat. “Natalie is Nathaniel's younger sister. She's five I believe. Nathaniel brought her to your party, remember?” Chloe raises an eyebrow at Sabrina. “She the one the screamed and fainted when the Despair Bear started running around.” Sabrina let's go of Chloe's hand and Chloe checks her nails. [End flashback]

'That must be his sister. She does look a bit like him.' They step up to the counter. Right away Chloe notices a change in Nathaniel. He wasn't smiling and facing away from Malissa. He was looking at the menu broad, Malissa knows he doesn't need too. He orders the same thing as yesterday minus the chocolate croissant. His sister, on the other hand, needed some time. “I'll have a vanilla latte,” she finally orders after a minute.

Malissa makes the order and hands it to them after taking the payment. Nathaniel was quite and looking at the wall and around the cafe. It's like he was trying to avoid looking at Malissa. Good thing she didn't notice while making the order. Natalie, on the other hand, did notice.

Nathaniel and his sister sit at a table in the back by a window. “Why did you want to see me?” Natalie asked taking a sip of her latte. “I think I have a problem,” Nathaniel yawned. “Does it involved the girl you tried to ignore that made our coffee?” Nathaniel nods sadly. “Talk to me, bro.” “That girl over there is in my Art class. Her name is Malissa. I bumped into her a lot lately. She's cute and shy. Reminds me of me when I was younger. I would like to try to break her out of her shell.” Nathaniel smiles as he talks about Malissa.

“You have a crush on her,” Natalie laughs. Making her older brother turn red. “That's not all. You remember Lila?” “I do.” “When I drop her off at the airport last night she kissed me,” Nathaniel glance a quick look at Malissa, who right now is cleaning up a table. “Let me guess, you have a crush on both now?” Nathaniel looks down at his drink. “I had a dream last night. I was making out shirtless with Malissa. The alarm woke me up and when I went back to sleep it was Lila I was making out shirtless,” he sighs.

“I was right. Then again you and Lila went out once,” Natalie grins at her brother. “It was a blind date and it was only the one date. That was also two years ago,” Nathaniel spoke in an acerbic tone. “You two still talk and it seems she may want to be more than friends,” Natalie's grin widens. Nathaniel glares at her before he rolls his eyes. “She had two years to bring that up, why would she now?” Nathaniel asked himself more than his sister. “Call her and ask. I'm going to get some cookies.” Natalie gets up and heads to the counter.

Nathaniel checks his phone. No new messages. Maybe he should call Lila even though she did say she'll call him. The big question is does he like her or Malissa? Maybe both. Nathaniel didn't notice his sister returned. “I talked with Malissa,” she hands him a cookie. Only to have Nathaniel jump up, “You what?” After his outburst he sits back down face is totally red. Natalie just laughs.

“We didn't say much. I just introduce myself and we exchange numbers,” Natalie takes a huge bite of her cookie. Nathaniel nods his head and takes a sip, only to spit it back out. “You what?” He repeated. “I found out she's taking a cooking class and I asked if she could give me some tips. She said she'll think about it and I offered to exchange numbers.”

“She does seem nice, then again she is also working,” Natalie glances at Malissa and sees Sabrina walk up to the counter. “If Lila is interested would you date her?” Natalie just had to ask that. “I don't know,” he sighs. “What about Malissa?” “I do want to want to get to know her, but she's my student. Am I able to date a student?” That is a good question. For Natalie, it's not that big of a question. “You both are adults, so I don't see why not. If you feel that way just wait until the class is done,” she shrugs.

Sabrina walks up to the counter, why wouldn't she go to “Malissa.” “Hello, how can I help you?” Malissa smiles a real one for Sabrina. “Black coffee please.” “Decaf or not?” “Not please.” Malissa takes the payment and gets the easiest order she had all day.

At five Malissa's shift is over and she clocks out. Then meets Sabrina at the table she's sitting on, that happened to be close but not that close to Nathaniel and sister's table. “We'll go once I finished my coffee. While you wait why don't you get some,” Sabrina tease. She could tell “Malissa” wasn't amused by the look on her face. That look only made Sabrina laugh. After Sabrina finished her coffee they head out to the bookstore.

#ChloNath #HoneyTomato #lilia rossi #Chloe Bougeois #nathaniel kurtzberg #ML #Nathaniel's sister #Fanfic #ML Fanfic #Hidden Secret #sabrina raincomprix

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dirtdiggersanddinosaurs · 4 years

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This year has been tough (I think we can ALL agree on that!) and getting away to the Lake District for October Half Term was just the tonic we needed. You may think that anything past September in the UK is a no go for staying in a campervan but trust me, we had the perfect home from home in the shape of Rooby Doo from Cosy Campers. It had everything we needed including a full heating system to keep us cosy and warm. Isn’t she a beaut?

The campervan of dreams!

Rooby Doo is quite rightly the pride and joy of Rich, Dani and Reuben the family behind Cosy Campers who are dedicated to making your campervan holiday one to remember. You can choose to keep it simple, or you can add in optional extras for a little luxury, tailoring your bespoke campervan experience to your needs.

We fell somewhere in the middle, it was our first time staying in a campervan with the boys (aged 2,3 and 6 years) so I desperately wanted it to go smoothly, and be a holiday to remember. I was also aware that because we were booking an October break that we’d need an outdoor but dry area. So I hired the drive away awning too, hoping that it would give the boys a bit of extra space and free up some room in the van. We were mindful of the fact that Rooby Doo is absolutely beautiful inside, so the awning actually proved to be invaluable for keeping our muddy boots outside and the van lovely and clean.

At the time of booking I had planned to pack light for this trip (which we did) but outdoor wet weather gear for the 5 of us was bulky and took up a lot of room so after a last minute phonecall to Dani I arranged to include the additional lockable storage box too.

Cosy Campers is based in our home town of Leek in the Staffordshire Moorlands, on the edge of the Peak District. After a run through of all things campervan, Ben drove Rooby Doo home and we loaded her up with small boys and luggage.

Adventure Awaits

I can’t tell you how much I was looking forward to our staycation adventure. Autumn is my favourite time of year, I love all the colours as the leaves turn and the lake district is absolutely beautiful at this time of year.

Perfect for those Autumn getaways

Ben took to driving the van with ease, helped by the automatic transmission – we cruised up the motorway until the cars became fewer and the scenery expanded before us. Two out of the three boys snoozed most of the way. Stanley was in the back with Eli, he did a great job passing him his bottle and generally entertaining him until he fell asleep. As Rooby Doo has 3 seats upfront, we had James between us, which worked well as I could keep a check on his bloods (he’s type 1 diabetic) and care for him on route, he wasn’t much company though!

You know how I mentioned loving Autumn, the crisp sunny days with misty starts…yeah, well scrap that because I came back down to earth with a bump! We arrived at our pitch to high winds and torrential rain, you’ve got to laugh! Luckily we’re not put off by bad weather.

Our first job was to put the awning up so that we had a little extra room for storage. Cosy Campers had previously sent us two YouTube video tutorials on how to erect and attach the awning to the van which we’d watched a couple of times in the run up to our holiday. Unfortunately we had little phone signal on site so we’re unable to access the videos again.

Rooby Doo with driveaway awning

I’m not going to lie, we struggled to suss the awning out at first but the cold horizontal rain hitting us square in the face didn’t help, neither did world war 3 breaking out in the van because apparently we weren’t going quick enough. We did get to grips with it eventually and not needing poles etc was a lifesaver, the inflatable structure of the awning went up quickly and with little effort. We took extra care to peg everything down securely because of the gusting wind. It didn’t end in divorce, and the boys didn’t kill each other so I’m calling it a win.

We unpacked and put the non essential items into the awning to give us a bit more space inside. We then threw the boys into the awning to play with transformers while we popped the kettle on. We had made the decision not to take any screens with us apart from our phones so there was a lot of chucking the boys into the awning throughout our stay, they even made a den in there at one point, so I definitely recommend adding it to your holiday if you have children.

One of life’s finest views, kettle on!

We saw some other campervanning pros on our site that had put up fairy lights and bunting inside their awnings, one even had a disco ball and lights! They looked so lovely in the evening it would definitely be something to think about, especially for a Summer trip.

Home From Home

The interior of Rooby Doo is just stunning. Everything from the pale blue units to the tan leather seats. The cupboards look small but were tardis like and contained everything we would ever need….from tea and coffee, to a torch and first aid kit.

The attention to detail was breath taking. From branded mugs that looked the part, to the fact that Cosy Campers just wanted us to have the very best experience possible. We were left a hamper packed with goodies, including two bottles of prosecco, luxury cookies, chocolates and jellybabies.

Our hamper and treat bags were a lovely surprise!

There were also 3 Halloween themed treat bags for the boys. One of which was completely diabetic friendly. Homemade monster crispie cakes, stickers, sweetie cones and a game of spooky snap were amongst the ghoulish goodies! There was also a lovely handwritten card wishing us the best holiday. I expect the jellybabies in our hamper were intentional too, as they are our preferred hypo treatment for James and I think I had mentioned it to Dani during one of our ‘mum’ conversations prior to the holiday. It made us feel very cared for and pampered, the planning around James’s diabetes was just so thoughtful and special. It was a very personalised experience which in turn made it feel luxurious.

The pop top roof was easily the bit the boys enjoyed most, and where two of them slept. Most of our time spent in Rooby Doo involved a view of a little head or legs dangling down from the roof. The fact they had to climb up there was everything small boys dream of. When the boys weren’t chilling ‘upstairs’ as they liked to call it, the base of the roof can be pushed up to give added head height in the living space of the van. We had one morning of lovely sunshine so we fully made the most of it and put the roof up and opened up the scenic windows. I can just imagine what it would be like in the Summer, the front of the pop top canopy can be completely removed too, it would be the best seat in the house.

We would love to experience this in the Summer too

By far the best feature in Rooby Doo for our trip anyway, was the heating system. We had horrendous weather and came back from every day trip out soaking wet, mud splattered and ruddy cheeked. Dark nights in Rooby Doo were warm and cosy however thanks to the diesel heater. We took our normal bedding, deciding against sleeping bags and we were lovely and warm at night.

Summary

When I booked our holiday with Cosy Campers I was slightly concerned that a campervan holiday with such young children would be a bit of a nightmare if I’m honest. I was proved wrong thankfully, apart from a bit of impatient bickering while we sorted out the awning the boys seemed to take to the campervan life with ease. They were happy to stay ‘upstairs’ or in the awning while we put the beds away or cooked etc. You do have to be quite organised though, and do things in a certain order when there’s so many of you in a relatively small space.

Would we do it again? Absolutely, in a heartbeat. If we had such an amazing time with the worst weather imaginable, then a Summer trip in Rooby Doo would be out of this world. We loved everything about our Half Term holiday, even the trips to the toilet block in the middle of the night gave us some great views of Mars, although you can add a porta loo to your booking if trekking across a field in a fetching wellies and pj’s combo isn’t your thing.

Autumn is so beautiful

It was an exciting adventure, and a perfect way of seeing the beautiful Lake District. I’ve decided that lying in a campervan bed, all snuggled up with my babies and listening to the wind and rain on the roof has become one of my favourite things to do, and something we WILL do again.

What sets Cosy Campers apart from other hire companies is the fact that when you book with them you feel like you are part of the family right up until you return Rooby Doo. Nothing is too much trouble and they go out of their way to create the perfect experience for you. Little touches, make a big difference fo example they included a wild guide to the area where we were staying which helped to make it a stress free experience. We could look up outdoor scenic places to visit which was especially helpful during these ‘covid-19 times’ and being a clinically vulnerable family.

Just driving around in Rooby Doo taking in the beautiful countryside was a treat in itself, and there’s nothing better than finding a quite spot to pull over and enjoy a cuppa with a view.

We are absolutely hooked on the campervan life!

Booking a Cosy Campers holiday definitely gets the thumbs up from us!

*As we are now in a second national lockdown unfortunately non essential travel is prohibited*

But, what better time to plan YOUR campervan adventure in the beautiful Rooby Doo for next year? You can get 10% off your off peak Cosy Campers booking by quoting DIRTDIGDINO when you make an enquiry. What are you waiting for?

Disclosure: we were gifted part of this holiday in return for an honest review and promotion across my social media channels. All opinions and words are my own.

Images are my own unless otherwise credited and must not be used without permission.

Our Autumn Campervan Adventure in Rooby Doo. This year has been tough (I think we can ALL agree on that!) and getting away to the…

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westywrites · 6 years

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The Orphan Experiments

Chapter 1

Time for a new multi-part story! Updates on this one will be every Wednesday and Friday similar to the last one. Once again, this is not the newest story in terms of how recently it was written, but it has, like the others, been under continual editing. I think this is one of my favourites because I really the characters.

I’m going to try out something new and put little excerpts from the chapter at the top above the Read-More and see how that works.

Excerpt: “Now I need to make sure you understand why exactly these kids live here instead of with other foster parents." Mr. Kleary nodded. "They are problem children, very troubled. They all have been kicked out of multiple homes and schools. They don't get along well with anyone and certainly not each other. What these children need is a heavy hand, do you understand?"

The house was large and foreboding; three stories high and very plain. The dull lawn and perfect off-white paint seemingly screamed that nothing good happens there. A young man with messy hair stood on the front porch, biting his lip. Shortly after he knocked the door was opened by a girl with curly black hair. She stared at him, deep brown eyes making quick judgments of the tie on his neck. The man smiled.

"Hello!" He bent a little to get more on eye level with the small girl. "My name is James Kleary, may I come in?" The girl said nothing in response. "I'm to be your new skills teacher here, it's very nice to meet you." The man put out his hand as if to shake the girl's. At this motion she flinched and ran up the stairs against the right wall of the entryway. Mr. Kleary stood awkwardly for a moment before calling out the name he had made note of before he came and bracing himself to meet the kind of woman he expected to run a place like this. A clattering of footsteps was heard from a room down the hall. A stout woman, easily in her fifties, hurried to the door; her face was kind as she invited him in. The lady led him down the hall and into a bright kitchen. The cheerful atmosphere contrasted to the rest of the house and did a great deal to ease Mr. Kleary's nerves.

"Okay, so here are m-" Mr. Kleary began to pull out his resume but was quickly interrupted by the lady.

"When can you start?" She was buzzing about, pulling things out of cupboards and putting things away, seemingly randomly.

"But you haven't even seen-”

"Doesn't matter! These children just need someone to put up with them for some time during the day. Lord knows I can't do it on my own all the time. The old skills teacher, he was tough but this batch is bad." She made a judgmental sound. "Those savages got the man in the hospital this time."

"Oh my," Mr. Kleary responded less to what the lady had said but more how she had said it. She talked about the children as if they weren't human beings. "I'll start immediately if you'll have me."

"Oh good, good! My name is Ms. Singer." She smiled tautly and extended a hand for him to shake. "I am the homeowner and head caretaker of the children here. I do all the cooking, cleaning and disciplining." She tossed a wooden spoon into the drawer and began to walk off. Mr. Kleary followed silently as Ms. Singer gave him a quick tour of the house. It had a simple layout with dull furniture and duller walls, just a standard four-bedroom home with three washrooms and a study. The children shared rooms; two girls in one and two boys in another. Ms. Singer lived in the master bedroom and the adjoining washroom was all hers. The final bedroom was small and unkempt with a tiny ensuite.

"This will be your room. You'll spend nights here but the rest of your time will be spent with the children." She pulled the door closed as they left. "You will teach in the study; history, English, math, all the usual subjects, taught following a strict curriculum. You will show up to meals on time, you will report any infractions to me immediately, no matter how minor. Are you even listening to me?"

"Huh? Oh, yes, definitely." He had zoned out entirely before they had even entered the bedroom. "Can I meet the kids now?"

“I suppose." The judgmental tone had crept back into Ms. Singer's voice. She led him to a living room where four kids were watching cartoons and looking bored. She stopped before she entered the room. "These are the kids. Now I need to make sure you understand why exactly these kids live here instead of with other foster parents." Mr. Kleary nodded. "They are problem children, very troubled. They all have been kicked out of multiple homes and schools. They don't get along well with anyone and certainly not each other. What these children need is a heavy hand, do you understand?"

"Loud and clear, Ms. Singer, or may I call you Andrea?" Mr. Kleary smiled.

"No, you may not." Her curt response made Mr. Kleary flinch a little. "These children need to learn respect so under no circumstances should they think of you or me as anything other than Ms. Singer and Mr. Kleary." She looked at him as though talking to one of the children of whom she thought so lowly. He nodded quickly. He was starting to doubt his choice in going to that house, but these children obviously needed someone who actually cared.

"The one in the corner, the little Mexican who answered the door when you knocked, her name is Rosa Falto, 10 years old, though she will not shut up about her birthday next week. She is a major flight risk, ran away from all the homes she's been in within the first few weeks. She’s scared of the world and incredibly shy but easily the most tolerable of the children. The girl laying on the floor is Willow Harrington, 12 years old. She is attention craving and overly emotional. She broke the nose and arm of the owner of her last home because he tried to comb out that Afro of hers. The ginger boy is Jacob O'Neil, 12 years old. He is a thief and a liar who lives to cause mischief. He was responsible for the prank that put their old skills teacher in the hospital. The little black boy is Tanner Cole, 11 years old. He claims to hate everyone and acts like it too. He is an angry child who will stay silent until it all comes out screaming." Ms. Singer gestured inside. "Now it's time for you to meet the devils."

The children all turned and watched silently as Mr. Kleary entered the room. He could tell by their faces that they had heard everything Ms. Singer had to say and that they had heard worse before. After an awkward moment of silence, the children went back to watching their cartoons and seemed to pretend that Mr. Kleary wasn't even there. Mr. Kleary shot a look back at the doorway, smiling and shooing Ms. Singer away. She sighed and left, her footsteps receding to the kitchen. As soon as she was out of sight Mr. Kleary sighed and plopped into an empty spot on the couch. The boys, on either side of him, looked shocked and kind of afraid.

"Man, she's got a stick up her ass, doesn't she?" Mr. Kleary said to Tanner. "A stick so far up it hits her brain!" The children laughed slightly in surprise, disbelief on their faces. Except for Rosa, she just stared with wide eyes.

It took a while but each of the children eventually came to enjoy Mr. Kleary's antics. He was the strangest and happiest adult any of them had ever met. He pulled pranks on them as often as they tried to pull any on him and his lessons were taught in badly sung songs or horribly drawn cartoons; he drove Ms. Singer up the walls. The children loved it and Mr. Kleary loved the children. He came to understand them as so much more than Ms. Singer had made them out to be. Rosa was brilliant, Tanner wanted to be an artist, Willow wanted to play hockey, Jacob was an aspiring stand-up comedian. Each of the children was able to shine and every time they did Mr. Kleary was filled with pride. His strange ways even seemed to brighten Ms. Singer at times and she began to give him some leeway with how he taught. Though this was partly because she knew he would ignore the rules anyway.

One day, rain and a boring history lesson had the children complaining and fidgeting in their seats; it gave Mr. Kleary an idea.

"Ms. Singer!" Mr. Kleary half shouted as he ran down the hall, the children staring after him in confusion. "Ms. Singer, I had an idea!"

"Good lord, Mr. Kleary how many times must I tell you not to run?" Ms. Singer stepped out of the kitchen, her polka dot broom in hand. "You are going to fall and break something."

"It's a dreadful day." Mr. Kleary was smiling and bouncing slightly as he talked; standing far too close to her.

"I guess..." A bit of worry crossed her face. "What is it that you want?"

"I want to go to the museum!" Mr. Kleary put a hand on her shoulder. "I have a friend who is in charge of the guided tours there. If I call her she can arrange something by the time we get there!"

"What does a dumb museum have to do with it being a dreadful day?" Tanner asked, alerting the adults that the children had snuck down the hall.

"Dreadful days are museum days, of course!" Mr. Kleary said it as if it were obvious. "Do you want to come, Ms. Singer? It'll be fun!" He continued to bounce slightly.

"No, thank you." She looked at her watch. "There's too much to be done around here." She turned back towards the kitchen. "Be safe and don't do anything stupid."

"She said yes!" Mr. Kleary was halfway up the stairs before he paused to look back at the children. "What are you waiting for? We're going to the museum!" The children ran after him.

"Hello and welcome to the Richardson Street Museum. We first opened our doors to the public in 1962 with only..." the tour guide droned on in an unenthused voice.

"Don't bother with the script, we won't be listening." Mr. Kleary smiled as he slid a small bottle back into his shoulder bag. "If you just lead us around and tell us some cool facts every once in awhile we'll be happy." And so it went on like that, the children ran ahead and pointed to cool things and the guide seemed much happier to say the things he found fascinating. Mr. Kleary ran about with the children at times, but mostly he followed along, walking and chatting with the tour guide. After close to three hours, the tour guide stopped Mr. Kleary for a second.

"Melissa, the guide coordinator, told me I should take you guys up to where we're storing the exhibit that's gonna be set up soon." The guide seemed excited. "Well, she said I could as a favour to you if your group was well behaved. It's really important that they don't touch anything up there."

"Of course. I promise you they'll be the best of any children you've ever seen." A smile grew on Mr. Kleary's face. When he called them, the kids quickly came over and stood attentively as Mr. Kleary explained where they were going. “Nothing there will be behind glass yet, so you have to be very careful not to touch it, okay?"

"What's the new exhibit about?" Jacob asked as the others nodded.

"It's about Native art and technology from before the Europeans came." The tour guide replied quietly. "You'll be the first to see it who doesn't work here." This was met with quiet excitement. The guide led them over to the back corner of the museum where there was a second, older styled elevator marked staff only. The guide put his arm out, blocking the door until everyone was in. He stepped in after them and pressed a button with no marking on it. Suddenly, something put Mr. Kleary's nerves on edge, something wasn't right. He looked to the children, they were all there. He looked back to the guide; when he wasn't looking the guide had pulled a mask of some sort over his mouth and nose. Mr. Kleary shouted for the children as he whipped around to face them, but before he could he fell to the floor and everything faded to black.

#west's words #original story #ya fiction #writers on tumblr #The Orphan Experiments #hopefully you guys end up liking this as much as I do #Ms Singer is a bitch tbh #she's only really in this chapter though so don't worry

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