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#i think it is part i am very awkward and socially bad thing. do not like proscribed social scripts and all that

drchucktingle · 1 month

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autistic expression in a neurotypical art gallery

this morning i thought i would talk about AUTHOR VOICE specifically when it comes to AUTISM. as autistic author i have learned to turn the dial up and down when writing characters. rose from CAMP DAMASCUS is basically exactly where i rest on spectrum and this shows in a few ways

in roses internal monolog you will see that she uses phrases like ‘my friend’ to talk about folks where neurotypical buckaroos might just use first name. or with her parents she will think of them in FIRST NAME instead of ‘mom’ or 'dad’. this is way many autistic buds THINK

to explain this trot I will say it is not a way of disrespect or anything like that, it is simply that these terms are TECHNICALLY all correct and interchangeable. socially, autistic buds often learn to mask by pinpointing WHEN to use these words that logically the same to us.

in CAMP DAMASCUS i left these things in to create character, but if you go back in my writing you will see it. in TINGLERS this is because they are honest in PUNK ROCK way. unfiltered expressions. in earlier novels its admittedly just because i did not realize it was unusual yet

point is, ROSES internal dialog in camp damascus is neurodivergent and i CHOSE not to change her thought process in this way, because we are BOTH autistic. this can be a risk because some neurotypical buckaroos will read it and just think ‘what a strange way. this is bad writing’

camp damascus reviews are actually very good it is a very well received book by any measure, but you will see some folks kind of making fun of these traits (i do not think they would do this if they knew it was authentic autistic way BUT we cannot educate EVERYONE on this trot)

POINT IS i am now faced with an artistic choice in later books. do i write with my AUTISTIC voice even though some neurotypical readers find it awkward? in technical sense some readers WILL think each book is better if i eliminate my autistic tendencies in later edits

my advice is this: character voice IS SO IMPORTANT, but a big part of writing is finding the place between YOUR voice and your CHARACTER voice where both are authentically existing in some way. like acting, you are always bringing something of yourself even when you 'disappear'

when writing BURY YOUR GAYS i did not plan to make misha on the spectrum, but misha is part of me and i am on the spectrum. what i have realized over time is that ALL OF MY CHARACTERS will have these traits in some way because i wrote them, and i will never disappear completely

so when edits came for BURY YOUR GAYS and misha, i took that dial and i turned it farther towards neurotypical than i did with rose, BUT I DID NOT TURN IT OFF COMPLETELY. in literal sense, i left some of those ‘my friends’, because i will always bring MY VOICE to my art as well

i am proud of being on the spectrum. while my voice may not hit every convention of ‘good writing’ it is authentically ‘MY writing’ and i think that is more important than any outside checklist for ‘correct literary expression’. and guess what THE RESULTS ARE IN, MY BOOKS DO WELL

so if you are an artist getting feedback or reviews, consider which parts you can LEARN FROM and grow and change, and which parts are just AUTHENTICALLY YOU. because while your honesty may defy conventions and seem unusual to some folks, IT IS OFTEN WHAT MAKES YOUR ART SING

feel free to turn that dial marked 'YOUR TRUE VOICE' up and down when it makes sense. i do this all the time. but i have long since decided i will never turn that dial OFF completely. your voice is your POWER buckaroo, dont be afraid to sing with it

#writing #actually autistic #chuck tingle #love is real #camp damascus #bury your gays #buckaroo lifestyle #tingleverse #queer horror

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gamma-radio · 10 months

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I hate when people play phone audio out loud in public spaces. The screechy quality of phone speakers, the disregard for literally anyone's auditory comfort, my poor autistic ears — I rage mode.

I know I'm not alone, so I am going to share my flawless embarrassment-free technique to get them to stop.

1) Carry a pair of earbuds on you. Not required, but it helps give you the confidence to actually confront them

2) walk up to them and be as nice as possible, no matter how mad you are. However, do not explain yourself or apologize, just make a simple request: "Hi, would you mind using earbuds for that?" (You're not asking them to stop, just change their method)

3a) 90% of the time they will shamefully put their phone away, and because you were so nice, they aren't even mad at you!! Then you can thank them for being so thoughtful, and maybe compliment their shirt or something! Everybody loves compliments.

3b) Alternatively, they might say, "I don't have earbuds." Normally, this would put you in an awkward situation, but You aren't normal. You are Prepared.

OFFER THE EARBUDS: "That's okay," you say, "you can borrow mine!" dazzling smile, you are so nice and thoughtful, what a great guy you are

Don't worry about losing your earbuds (or if you don't actually have earbuds), because they won't accept your offer. THEN they will put their phone away of their own free will. You never even had to ask.

If you want a detailed explanation of why this works (for the autistic besties, I see u):

People don't like it when you tell them what to do, especially if that request is to stop doing their activity in any shape or form. It pisses them off, and rightfully so! No one wants to be controlled.

That's why this method is so good: you never asked them to stop their activity, you asked them to make a small change to how they are doing the activity, which is far less obtrusive.

This works for lots of things, and lots of people. Imagine being a kid, goofing around, and someone says, "Stop doing that." Upsetting! Compared to: "Would you mind being quieter?" Because really, the issue is not that you are goofing around, the issue is that you are being loud and disruptive about it.

Same goes for the stranger on their phone in public. It's totally fine that they're watching a video, the problem is that they're being disruptive, and chances are they know that being disruptive is rude.

The second half of why this works is offering the earbuds.

When you ask them to change how they're doing their activity, you are placing a burden on them. If they have a pair already, it is a very tiny burden. If they don't have a pair, it is suddenly an insurmountable burden, and that's very uncomfortable. In fact, it's so uncomfortable that by making the request, you might become the bad guy in the situation (according to them) even if you're being nice, and even if they're in the wrong.

That's why you offer the earbuds. Now you are actively helping them by alleviating the burden. You are being kind and thoughtful instead of demanding!

Sure, they might think you're a little weird, because it's not part of the social script, but they've got no ground to be mad at you.

Which brings up the last point: offering to lend your earbuds isn't part of the social script. It's surprising, and so their default reaction is to avoid that path: they will decline your offer. So, you don't have to worry about a stranger wearing your earbuds with their gross stranger ears.

So that's the whole idea behind the method. Confrontation that is respectful and thoughtful of their autonomy and your comfort all at the same time. ~social engineering for good~

#sensory overstimulation #autism #sensory overload #autistic #neurodivergent #social engineering #social etiquette #my post

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scoupsoup · 1 month

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"Have I known you 20 seconds, or 20 years"

In which the bridesmaid falls in love with the best man at her best friend's wedding.

Member~ Lee Chan x reader

Warnings~ slight cursing,love at first sight,both reader and chan are hopeless romantics, fast paced relationship. Very cliche lol

Word count~ 9.6k

YOU always enjoyed weddings, especially the part with the vows. Watching two people in love celebrate their love and join their lives and families as one was something that brought you joy.

Your bestfriend, her fiance and you had met up on a few occassions to get to know eachother. Sometimes he would bring his friends too, secretly in hopes to set you up together but it ended up with both you being friends. He had 12 close friends so your bestfriend was secretly hoping for you to fall in love with one of them. But sadly you hadn't met the one till now.

You were done getting ready so you decided to spend the remaining time sitting by your bestfriend as she got ready for her big day, in case she needs help.

"You look so pretty today, if seokmin doesn't shed a tear when he sees you, he ain't the man" You joke slightly making her giggle. "He will surely cry, maybe more than I will" Seeing her happy made you smile.

"Well let me know if you need anything"

You were more than glad to be there with her instead of greeting and socializing with the people outside as you barely knew anyone but as she had forced you out the room saying her mom was there to help her and instead you should socialize and meet new people because in her exact words 'maybe you will find your man in the crowd' whatever that meant.

You straightened out your dress once more before walking out where the tables were set up. Your bestfriend loved the ocean and wanted a beach wedding so you decided to take a drink and go enjoy the view of the jeju beaches. As you reached closer to the shore, you took off your heels and set them aside as you walked a little bit closer to the water until the cool waves hit your feet.

You sipped quietly on your iced apple juice as it was too early to drink for you. The sound of the ocean waves and the chattering of the people had gotten distant as you were lost in your head.

It wasn't soon when you were startled by the presence of someone walking right beside you, you looked to your side and met eyes with one of the most gorgeous men you've seen. "Hi, I'm chan, it's nice to meet you" he smiled.

His attire was perfectly fitting to his body and it seemed as if he shined brighter than the rose in the front pocket of his well tailored suit jacket.

You introduced yourself, returning his smile hoping he wouldn't notice how flustered you were under his presence. "I am close friends with seokmin, and, the best man!" his eyes seemed to glisten while talking about his friend. At first you were against the idea of dating seokmin's friend but right now, that idea wasn't sounding that bad.

"It's nice to meet you" you extended your hands out for a friendly handshake but cursed at yourself mentally as you were making things awkward. As soon his hands touched yours, sparks flew. As cliche as it sounded, it didn't matter to you right now because you were experiencing one of the most cliche tropes in a romance book, Love at first sight.

"What's a pretty girl like you doing here all alone?" He asked.

"Do you ask that to every girl you see?creep" you joked slightly

"Well, no. It's not everyday that I go to my best friend's wedding and meet a pretty girl like you" he smiled slightly.

"Oh well im flattered you think I'm pretty when I'm sure every single female in here would love to have you for themselves"

"I dont care about the others, not when I have you here" he didn't even leave a second between your words as he answered quickly.

You didn't know him for long but his eyes told you his words were sincere. You were ready to risk everything and anything for him and no matter how stupid it was, you didn't care. You didn't cars as long as he was here with you. But you would never say that out loud.

"Why are you standing here all alone? Why don't you come over at our table, I'll introduce you to the others" his smile made him look more handsome. The way his eyes crinkled, you could stare at him all day. But that has to be put aside for now. He helped you wear your heels.

You had already met seungkwan, vernon, seungcheol and jeonghan and were curious to meet the others and not to mention, you wanted to get to know chan better so you decided to take him up on the offer.

He hadn't left your hands after your handshake and carried you to the table, leading you with your hands. He walked you to a huge table where 11 guys were sitting and some of them with girls, you assumed to be their girlfriends.

He pulled out a chair for you and sat at the empty one right beside it. There was a girl sitting beside you who introduced herself as kwon soomin, soonyoung's wife. Everyone except seungkwan, vernon and Jun had wives or girlfriends- soon to be their wives. They all looked like a big happy family.

You introduced yourself to everyone, with a soft smile on your face. You were feeling slightly nervous with so many eyes on you and especially, his. You could feel his stare and how intense it was.

Gosh you were so pretty, he could get lost in your eyes. He wondered if you were as smitten for him as he was for you. He hoped that your heart was also beating as fast as his was.

"Dino, I asked you to get me drink but it seems like you got a little distracted" seungcheol joked. "Ahh shit! I forgot. But it's not my fault, it's not like I meet someone like her everyday" you blushed at his words but you couldn't let others see that so you took a sip of the apple juice from earlier. All the ice had melted already and only a little was left in the glass.

Chan noticed. "Let me refill that for you, love" without waiting for a reply, he left taking your glass from your hands and leaving the table. Gosh that nickname had you weak in the knees.

"You've already gotten him all swooned for you, I can already see how your marriage is going to be like" soonyoung joked, causing some to giggle.

"How could you say that, we don't even know if she likes him or not" she slapped her husband in his arm playfully and turned to you, "do you?" She asked raising her eyebrows. "I..." You smiled slightly not knowing what to say but before she could say anything about it, dino had come back. He handed you your drink and sat down. "What are you guys talking about" he asked. "Oh just how You and her's marriage would look like" and once again the sound of giggles took over.

It had been some time, we chatted and got to know each other more as we played an impromptu never have I ever with our drinks as we waited for the bride to enter. As it was time to, we took our places at the altar. You were standing right by the bride and in front of the bestman of the wedding, dino.

The wedding was absolutely gorgeous and during the vows, you might have shed a little tears. Throughout all of it, the constant eye contact and knowing smiles between you and dino wouldn't fail to cause butterflies in both of your stomachs.

After the wedding, the couple had their first dance as we all stood apart. You walked over to the side as dino soon took the space by your side. "You looked so pretty up there, I didnt know you could get any prettier" you smiled at his words. "You surely know your way with flattery, don't you" you nudged him slightly by the shoulders . "I am just complementing my girl" "your girl?" "Aren't you?" "You haven't asked me yet and how are you so sure I'd say yes" "well, will you say no?" "You'll find out when you ask"

As the newly wedded couples finished their dance, it was now open for others to dance. A lot of couples went on the stage and danced hand in hand to the slow music. "Wanna dance?" "I am not that good at dancing-" "Just trust me, you do right?" He put his hands out, for you to take. You took it gladly with a smile, "I do"

He put his hands around your waist and you put yours on his shoulder. "You surprisingly do know how to dance" you nodded your head as a sign of showing how impressed you were. "I am full of surprises, just wait and see for yourself" he smirked. "Oh are you now?" You smiled.

"What?I can't hear you over the music" and with that said he pulled me closer, so close you could smell his cologne, from his neck. So close you could feel his breath on your face. So close you could feel the connection between each other and you know he did too. Your heart was beating fast, so fast you wondered if he could hear it, feel it.

"Do you wanna go somewhere..quiter" he said. "My feet are a bit tired of dancing, so yes" He took you by your hands to a secluded part of the beach away from the crowd and the music.

"So.. How long are you gonna stay here after the wedding" he asked as his hands were still in mine as we sat down on some big rocks near the shore. "I am staying for another two days. You?" "Oh me too, the group and I have planned to roam around Jeju Island for the next two days" You wondered slightly how this seemingly abnormal coincidence happened in the first place and then it hit you how maybe all of this was planned.

your stay for another two days was done by your best friend who forced you to stay longer and explore jeju Island, saying how you won't get a chance like this again. As you did need a break, you agreed and it was her who booked everything for the two days, saying it was a treat for helping her with the wedding.

" You should join us, I'm sure the others won't mind" He suggested. "What about you" "what about me?" "Would you mind?"

"I'd be the happiest to have your company with us" he looked at you and smiled. "This may be too early but I want to say this". He paused as he turned completely towards you. You didn't realise how close you were sitting until this moment.

"Will you go out with me? I want to ask you to be mine already but I'd prefer you get to know me first, I don't want this to be too soon for you" you smiled, "Too soon? I've already fallen for you, and what's the point of waiting when I already know what the answer is going to be? It's a yes"

He seemed surprised by your answer. "A yes to being mine or the date?" He asked. You smiled but this time instead of answering, you pulled him closer by his neck and gave him a soft kiss on the lips. You soon broke it off, not sure how he'd reciprocate it. But you got your answer as soon as you broke the contract of your sweet kiss, he pulled you closer, this time deepening the kiss and making it longer.

When you finally broke apart, you both were a smiling mess. You just stared at each other, eyes crinkled with huge smiles on your faces. "The way you make me the happiest person on earth, makes me never wanna let you go, and I promise I never will" He said. "As much as I wanna stay here with you, we should probably go back to the wedding, they might be wondering where we are" You said, getting up from the stone. "Oh yeah!" It was as if he finally realised where he was.

You both walked hands in hands back to the table where everyone was sitting but now the bride and groom were sitting at the table too.

"Looks like someone had a little too much fun " maybe your messy hair and deep in love smiles must have given it away.

"Congratulations on your wedding!" you hugged both seokmin and your bestfriend. "Thank you", seokmin smiled, his smile was brighter than the sun could ever be. " but I can't help but wonder" seokmin said, "when's your wedding?" We both glanced at each other and giggled.

Looking at your intertwined hands and his face as he laughed and joked around with his brothers and now your good friends too, you couldn't help but wonder, 'have I known him 20 seconds, or 20 years"

How stupid is love at first sight. How stupid is falling in love with someone without even knowing who that someone is truly. If someone told Chan he would find love at his best friend's wedding, he'd laugh. If someone told you, youd find love at your best friend's wedding, you'd laugh at how dumb that sounded. How stupid were you to even think so, because when with him, even love at first sight felt real.

There he was, your lover.

---------------------*<3*-----------------------

Note~ this is my first time posting on Tumblr lol, idk how this will turn out and honestly I just got this idea at a random 3 am. This is just proofread once so I hope there's not a lot of mistakes! Have a great time reading!<3

Niko.

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ughgoaway · 8 days

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need to see how teacher!reader met ross and hann

Omg yeah, I can't believe I haven't discussed this at length yet??

Hann’s story is very boring (sorry, bro), baby Hann goes to Annie’s school, and you once worked as a teaching assistant in his class! It was whilst you were still training, so you were just a helper, but you sometimes did hand off at the end of the day, so you spoke to Carly and Adam regularly. As well as being there on parents' evenings and things, so they just know you through school.

Ross is a little more interesting story though…

✿❀✿✿❀✿✿❀✿✿❀✿✿❀✿✿❀✿✿❀✿✿❀✿

You met Ross a few months into your intense crush on Matty. You knew who he was after some intense stalking of Matty’s social media and some googling. But Ross had no idea what you looked like.

He knew Matty was falling in love with his daughter's teacher, and he told him over and over again that it was a bad idea. So he did no research into you, not wanting to encourage Matty into a relationship that didn't sound so sensible.

You blink heavily a few times, trying to process whether this man in front of you is actually the man you thought he was. But when you saw a flash of his phone background and saw a picture of all the boys and Annie at the zoo, you knew he was indeed the very same Ross you'd seen in many late-night stalking sessions.

So when he saw a pretty girl in a club, he didn't think twice before going up to her and offering to buy a drink. “Hi, bit of a boring pickup line, but I saw you from across the bar and thought you were beautiful. Can I buy you a drink?”

Ross decided to go simple that night after having spent too long chatting up a girl just for her to slink off with another guy at the end of the night (usually Matty…)

Whilst you were processing, however, you were silent. Which isn't exactly encouraging when it comes to picking girls up at bars. Ross starts to nervously move around, pulling at his shirt and fiddling with his hair. You can feel the nervousness radiating off of him, and you don't quite know what to do.

Part of you wants to be honest right away, tell him your Annie's teacher and you recognise him from her many drawings, all of which you now know are quite accurate as you stare up at Ross. But also, you know that as soon as you mention Matty, you'll get that stupid lovesick look on your face, and you can't risk Ross telling Matty that. You could try and hide it, but your face said everything your words didn't.

Ross can sense your hesitation and starts talking again before you can respond, “Let me guess, pretty girl like you has a boyfriend already, huh?” he laughs. You can tell he isn't putting too much pressure on this conversation, so you feel okay lying to him, just this once.

“Ah, thank you for the offer, but I do indeed have a boyfriend, I'm afraid. I would normally take the free drink, but you seem like a nice guy, so I'll let spend your money on a single girl, yeah?” You giggle at Ross and shoot him a wink, and you can't help but brighten even more when you see a blush come across his cheeks.

Luckily, Ross doesn't take it too hard and thanks you for your honesty before moving back across the bar. You don't pay too much attention to him for the rest of the night, dancing with your friends and trying to drink your feelings for Matty away (it doesn't work, and you start stalking his Instagram at 3 am until your friend forcibly removes your phone.)

But just before you leave the club you flick your eyes around the room looking for Ross, and you couldn't be happier than when you see a redheaded girl practically on his lap in the corner of the room.

But the second his eyes meet yours, they widen and you can see all the memories flooding back. You consider pretending to meet all over again to avoid the awkwardness, but you can't lie to Matty like that so you decide to just be upfront with it.

You don't cross paths again until after you and Matty are finally together! After breaking the news to the boys and diffusing the small bit of tension, you re-meet them all.

No part of your brain thinks Ross remembers you, you assume he's tried to pick up many girls at many clubs over the years, and you remember Matty saying he's been in a relationship for a few months now so there's no way he knows your face.

“Nice to see you again Ross, heard you finally found a pretty single girl, huh?” You tease, and you can see his muscles relax when you make a joke of it, every bit of nervousness in him melting away.

“Yup, found her the same night I met you actually, guess you having a boyfriend worked out quite well in the end,” he smiles softly as he speaks about his girlfriend, and you assume the redhead you saw with her tongue down his throat that night is the very same one that you see flash up as his phone background.

Before you can respond, Matty is jumping in with questions, “Do you two know each other already? And what do you mean, boyfriend? I thought you hadn't had one in years before you met me?” Matty's face is doing that scrunchy thing he does when he feels confused and left out at the same time, and whilst it is cute, you put him out of his misery pretty quick.

“I didn't. Ross and I met at a club months ago. He tried to buy me a drink, and I was so hung up on you that I lied and said I had a boyfriend. Worked out well in the end, though, didn't it?” You slide into Matty’s side as you speak, placing your hand on his chest gently.

“Wait, so did you already know who I was that night?” Ross asks before Matty can cut in and ask 100 more questions.

“Mate, no need to get all alpha male on me. Never even bought her a drink, used that fiver to buy one for Hazel instead. She literally said no to me because she was in love with you, don't think I had much of a chance. You always ended up with the girls I went for first anyway.” Ross jokes.

“Oh I absolutely did, I must have seen about 100 photos of you across all of Matty’s socials.” You laughed as you spoke and hoped the mention of your late-night stalking would distract Matty from everything, but it didn't.

You could see he was feeling weird about it. He felt jealous but was not quite sure why? You had turned Ross down that night because you liked him, but he's still annoyed at the idea of anyone hitting on you, especially one of his best friends.

This makes Matty move on quickly, and soon enough you're grilling all the boys about Matty’s supposed “slut era” and getting all the juicy details of all those girls in the back of his van.

You and Ross make jokes about it from time to time, whenever you're at a bar as a group he asks if you have a boyfriend when he buys a round, and you ask if he's single when you buy them too.

Matty rolls his eyes every time, but he always fights a smile when you press a kiss to his cheek to confirm you do, in fact, have a boyfriend. And he smiles even bigger when it turns from a peck on the cheek to a kiss on the mouth and the wiggle of a wedding ring, telling Ross that you don't have a boyfriend, but you do have a husband.

#sorry im a little rusty with blurbs lol #been a whileeee #i need to get back into them tbh!!#anon!#teacher au!

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weeb-polls-with-pip · 4 months

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Autistic Anime Boys Prelims - Propaganda Division - Group 5

Propaganda:

Ame -

"Typical autistic childhood – doesn't want to go to school, doesn't talk a lot, his plans for the future are just to go to live as a wolf in the forest… He's basically a werewolf and I think werewolves are often autistic coded. Actually his whole family is autistic coded."

Floyd -

"Has no emotional regulation skills and will make it everyone's problem. Prone to mood swings and can get angry at the drop of a hat, but can also be so goofy, silly, and lovely. Sways side to side for that good good stim, and loves to squeeze others (with violent intent and affectionate intent). Who doesn't love a good pressure stim? His interest in things can be fleeting, and his motivation to do things can change as quickly as his mood. Spontaneous and feral extraordinaire."

Hibiki -

"he is canonically diagnosed with hyperacusis <3 my fav sensory issues guy (he's so relatable). also canonically pulled a bad bitch (uta) by being autistic."

Akira -

"He has a heartbreaking relationship with road racing and the memory of his dead mother, and while he is a major antagonist, he is given a lot of interesting looks into his internal logics that I personally find relatable as an autistic person. I also like how he expresses himself in unpleasant ways, but isn't always treated with disgust, its kind of refreshing."

Sang Woo -

"literally the first results on google is "sangwoo semantic error autistic." he loves routine + is extremely distressed by change in routine (contrasts w his ADHD-coded bf). very blunt/cannot read social clues which leads to some misunderstandings throughout the manhwa. he's very relatable to me as an autistic person but also as a queer man, and it's refreshing to see autistic characters being open with their sexuality/sexual life bc we're often displayed as asexual robots incapable of love (bad for lots of reasons haha). he's super cute generally and really grew on me throughout the series. definitely the best part of semantic error."

Douglas -

"Many other characters try to read into what he does and says, looking for deeper or different meanings but it's always revealed that he means exactly what he says every single time and the butt of the jokes is always the other characters for being dramatic and presumptuous, not Doug for being autistic. Also he's the mean autistic representation we deserve."

Scott -

"look at him. failboy autism. even more so than any previous version!"

Shinra -

"he's just like me forreal."

Soi -

"I mean come on, it’s Purson. He thinks he’s really good at talking to people but most of his conversations (at least at the start) are completely one sided. He just blurts out whatever he’s thinking and completely dominates the conversation (if you can call it that). I love him so much for it, I have a really hard time figuring out when I should just stop talking and let someone else have a turn and only tend to realize after he fact that I didn’t really let anyone else get a word in and feel really bad. But the way Purson communicates is never shown to be a bad thing it’s a bit awkward at times but that just how he is and the rest of the misfit class live him for it. I think I could go on all day about how wonderfully inclusive Iruma-Kun is it’s such a good series, also in my brain Balam, Kalego, Clara and Opera are on the 4 outer points of an x-y graph that represents the autism spectrum. Everyone else fills the blanks in between. His bloodline magic is ‘detection warding’ and for the first several arcs of the manga the rest of the class didn’t even know he was there."

Makoto -

"In one sentence: Katai considers the titular Komi-san a communication master. Katai looks like a brutal thug, but he's actually extremely shy. Shy enough that after missing a couple weeks of class, it takes him months to build up the confidence to go to school. Katai tries to make friends once he does go to school, but he can't hold a conversation and doesn't realize that his mumbled half-sentences and resting bastard face make it look like he's threatening people. He's also pretty bad at reading the room, which is why he interprets Komi's behavior as a communication master trying to guide him from afar rather than a kindred spirit also struggling to hold a conversation."

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cookinguptales · 8 months

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Y'know, I post a lot on tumblr about what a shit Guillermo is, and I stand by that. He is a marvelous little shit. But honestly I only talk about it so much because people on tumblr and AO3 send me so many messages about how he's never done anything wrong in his life. When I'm presented with the opposite, that Guillermo is uniquely awful and selfish and he victimizes the poor uwu vampires (thinkpieces that you saw a lot more often during s3) I am fully like "I STAND BY EVERY DECISION THAT FOOLISH MAN HAS EVER MADE."

Being real with you, I feel like talking about Guillermo like he's totally blameless and put-upon or like he's totally selfish and wholly evil flattens a really complex and interesting character. He's selfish and self-involved and cruel and sweet and insecure and giving. He's all those things, and I love that about him.

I love Guillermo as a character because he has these carefully constructed categories in his head, these rules and boundaries that he sticks to like glue. He contains multitudes, and it's because he carefully follows the rules he has in his own head, even when they don't make a lot of sense to others.

I think the best way to think about Guillermo's actions is to think about him having two very different sets of rules for in-groups and out-groups. He will bend over backward for people in his in-group, will be the kindest, most patient, sweetest man in the world -- but he can be downright vicious to people in the out-group.

This is a pretty common occurrence IRL, though not always to the degree that Guillermo does it... I mean, you're going to treat your best friend's birthday differently than you're gonna treat a stranger's, right? When you start seeing it happen the way Guillermo does it, though, it's often to create and preserve power. You see it in politics, high school cliques, religion, etc.

For example, let's take new religious movements (or NRMs, i.e. "cults".) They are famous for this behavior. When you create distinct in-groups and out-groups and can behave very differently towards both, you give your followers a strong incentive to stay in the in-group. It makes them feel like they're the "good" ones, the superior ones, the ones with power. The ones that belong. And when they see out-groups being mistreated, well. No one wants to be in the group with no power who's mistreated, y'know? It simultaneously gives people in the in-group a sense of community, belonging, and social superiority and makes them afraid to leave.

But really, you see it all the time. If you have a "good" group that you can never harm and a "bad" group that you can do anything to, that really helps prop up power structures in a lot of ways. Look, I'm not going to get into this too much more because you don't want a freaking academic lecture on your dash, but suffice it to say that I think Guillermo is largely using his in-groups and out-groups in this way, mentally speaking.

He has in-groups (his friends, his family, his boyfriend, the vampires he lives with) and out-groups (literally everyone else, including other vampires) and he badly mistreats the out-groups because he does not want to be one of them. I've noticed he's particularly awful to human prey that reminds him of himself (nerdy, socially awkward, powerless, virginal) and I think that's because he wants to distance himself from them. He wants to make sure no one mistakes him as being part of that group, so he very strongly pushes them into his out-group by not only killing them, but making fun of them and often making sure they suffer before they die.

And then he's even more slavishly devoted to his in-groups, partially because he does truly love them, but partially because he desperately wants to stay in those groups. Or because he's trying to protect his own hide.

I don't mean to say that every kind thing he does is calculated -- I do think he very genuinely wants to make the people he loves happy -- but there's a sort of desperation to it sometimes. When he does these kind things, sometimes it's this desperate bid to be valued and accepted by others in his in-group, which makes him feel like he's earned his place there.

I've noticed that Guillermo has a tendency to do things for people to stay in their good graces (buying his mom a fridge, doing chores for Nandor, giving Derek money) when what they actually want is his time and attention. There often is a vibe that he's trying to earn his way into a group he doesn't quite feel entitled to when actually he's already very much a part of the group and he just needs to maintain those relationships. It's insecurity, frankly, and a nervous sort of self-preservation.

In fact... I'd say that Guillermo's greatest emotional struggles often come when trying to reconcile (and protect) different members of his in-group because he's trying to reconcile (and protect!!!) the different parts of himself.

Like... when he protected Jeremy, he was protecting a friend, but also the idea that some weak, virginal nerds are not prey. He had to protect this member of his in-group, partially because he loved him, but partially because he had to protect himself by extension. If Jeremy could be an exception to the predator-prey dynamics, so could he. Some humans could be valuable.

When he protected his fellow familiars during the familiar fights, he was protecting fellow humans whom he thought had "earned" a better life (and death) than prey humans, but he was also protecting the idea that a familiar could be loved and valued. He was protecting himself and the hope that Nandor would love him.

When he protected his family, he was protecting his beloved family members, but also the idea that vampires and slayers could coexist. Of course he doesn't want his family to die, but he's also doesn't want his hopes that he can have it all to die with them.

Let's all be real with each other here. Guillermo kills humans, and he does so without compunction. He is able to utterly dehumanize prey humans because he has a vested interest in emotionally distancing himself from them. But he gets kind of freaked out when the humans that he has mentally removed from that prey group (his friends, his family, people "like him") are not placed into that same exempt group by others. And this is definitely because he wants to protect those he loves!

But it's also because it means that he isn't special, either.

Let's talk about Freddie, who I think is probably the most complicated example of all this in the entire show. (Save perhaps Derek, who could probably get an entire post to himself because he went from out-group to in-group without Guillermo's consent.) When Freddie first arrived at the house, Nandor mistook him for prey. This understandably freaked Guillermo out, partially because he wanted to protect his boyfriend and partially because it was violating Guillermo's group dynamics.

(Insert meta here about Freddie representing Guillermo's ability to have a happy life outside of the weird, insular one he'd created for himself prior to s4.)

Freddie ended up being kind of special, though, because Guillermo considered him to be part of his in-group and Nandor considered him an out-group until he realized that Guillermo valued him. And then Nandor wanted him to not just be part of his in-group, but a portion of it separate from (but simultaneously representing) Guillermo. It's complicated!!

So we had Freddie 1 who was Guillermo's and Freddie 2 who was Nandor's, but... in the end, Freddie really belonged to no one but himself, right? In the end, he very literally chose himself. He left the -group dynamic altogether.

So Freddie is moving in and out of these groups like a fuckin' oiled-up eel that Guillermo cannot keep a hold of, and that really challenges his control issues as well as his ability to feel like he belongs in the in-groups he's created. It challenges his ability to feel worthy and loved and like he belongs anywhere. It challenges his ability to have faith that he'll ever become a vampire. Suddenly he does not control these groups anymore. If anything, they're controlling him.

While a lot of Guillermo's angst at the end of s4 was about, y'know, normal heartbreak... I think a lot of that was happening, too. He was really seeing the abrupt overturning of the carefully established rules and groups and boundaries and power differentials in his head, and that made him just want to be free of the whole thing.

So he took a step out of all of his preconceptions about what he did and did not have to do to belong in these groups, and took hold of his own destiny.

...unfortunately.

Guillermo's decisions in s4, both regarding his family and his turning, really did permanently shake up a lot of the group dynamics in the show. For better? For worse? (FOR GOOD...? lmao) It's hard to say, honestly. But I'm eager to see how he irons it all out in his head!

Our able-to-self-justify-literally-anything bitch. 💜

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uyuartik · 2 months

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bad idea, right? (obi wan kenobi x f!reader) part iii

tags: angst, fluff, arguments, period typical misogyny (of course not from obi wan), just overall wealthy pricks being little shits, the trope of THERE WAS ONLY ONE BED, but not really, do you believe in second chances (i don't) (💀), little smut compared to the rest because originally there was no smut in this (but i HAD TO use that idea), REPOST because i fucked up in the first place

a/n: welcome back for the finale!

well, i can't think of anything to say except this has been a blast for me, and i'm so happy that there are those who enjoys this madness as much as i do. hope you like the ending too. thank you all!

likes and reblogs are very much appreciated, and i can’t wait to hear your opinions! i am also crossposting on ao3, feel free to interact there as well.

part one | part two | part three

enjoy!!!

word count: 8.3K

chapter three: fuck it it's fine!

You don’t board that ship. A slight sickness you excuse, then spend your days sulking at home, still covered by the expanse of your lies. It is not totally untrue, though. You did really wake up with a swollen throat, and that put the integrity of your health during the journey at risk, thus with great grief, canceled the plans. Nobody knew that you’d not even mention the symptom on any other day, just requesting some honey tea and hardly noticing it disappear in the morrow. And it exactly worked out as predicted, more so, without leaving its discomfort for remorse. But after that, the hours stretched out each day, like you were living in a different plane where you were not welcomed. Perhaps you actually weren’t, for if you followed your fate, you’d be eating different foods, and walking foreign corridors. In an attempt to run away from that feeling, you try to socialize just a little, attending even the most dull tea parties. Also, your preference of company has to be specialized now, and that proves difficult sometimes.

So, that’s exactly why you indeed sulk at home, even though all your efforts.

But not tonight.

Then again, perhaps you should've.

His presence has nothing to do with it, to be perfectly clear. On the contrary, he makes it a little endurable. The forced small talk and empty eyes you once feared dearly are not the case, even after your last encounter. Of course, there's a little awkwardness, an uncertainty about where the line of intimacy now stands, shadows of anger and disappointment still darkening the atmosphere, but the overall sensation comes down to longing. You both lost a great friendship, cast it aside in a blink, but your souls don't accept this new arrangement that quickly, trying to fall into the familiar rhythm once more each time you feel your walls break. You don't allow it, neither does he. Yet, it is about the only thing that turns this night into a not complete waste of time. Even a pleasant one, you'd dare say.

If it weren't for literally everything else except this.

The hushed little uninformed jokes start during the dinner. It is the lord of the house that says them, to his close circle, barely hanging onto etiquette he had glimpses of. As minutes tick and glasses of wine roll, that glimpse is gone, and even in your seat at the end of the table, you hear him clearly. The pressed lips and masked mimics pretending not to be aware of it soon become apparent on every face, excluding you and Lord Kenobi. You glower the first time another of the guests feels confident enough to make his dirty contribution to the subject. Typical, you try to stay calm, tapping your fingers on the table. The world is filled with the likes of him, and the last thing they deserve is your attention. The reflex doesn’t go unnoticed by him, and he sends a sympathetic smile, showing that you’re not alone and accepting this invitation was a most regretful choice. He uses a few retorts to close the deal, let the dinner continue in different matters- or in silence, that would be fantastic indeed, but his smart wit and slight intimidation work only for a couple of minutes. Now it’s your turn to reflect that sad smile, and you do.

The sadness doesn’t come from the circumstances around you all, though. Your heart feels heavy, for not trying better ways to handle that morning. That guilt will haunt you, drag you into the gloomy pit you’ve been in, and maybe, you should stay there for some time, a penance for your mistakes.

After dinner, when the ladies and gentlemen huddle around different interests, you get a chance to cool off. The soft peals of laughter and giggles fill the room, a much more pleasant sound than the roar of men. You get to entertain others with your stories of other cities you’ve been to, and they tell their interesting incidents, and make fun of their husbands, people who deserve, as their commotion spills out of the walls. The topic of their conversation, marriage, diffuses out into your circle in such a way, that once again, you’re restraining yourself, trying to listen to the problems one of the ladies is complaining of, and not to hear the crude comments going on on the other side. You’re stopped from rushing out of your armchair simply out of respect you have for the woman speaking when you pick up your name passing in their remarks. Plus, Kenobi’s words, you don’t flatter me by offending the lady, reach every ear in the room, sharper than a knife. Your cheeks burn with anger, then with gratitude, and at last, out of embarrassment, because how are you going to explain he’s just doing an honorable thing, that it’s his character to defy ill minds when he sees one, and this has little to do with his “pursuit” of you? Your breaths are shallow and quick as you focus on the discourse, and dodge every attempt to pull the subject towards your relations.

Though, the snake doesn’t give up on eating, even his own tail, it seems.

In less than half an hour, a joke about abduction is whispered, and you surge from your armchair, the screeching sound echoing. You murmur what resembles to be an excuse (you’re still deciding whether they are worthy of one), and send one glaring gaze at the group, enough to make one flinch, and walk out.

Out of the entire house.

Lucky for you, this is a night in which you carpooled with another guest, meaning you only have your own feet to carry you away in this pouring rain.

But of course, that’s not enough to deter you.

You take big steps, enforced by your fury. Thus, the house leaves your sight in no time, but not their audacity, still ringing in your ears. Implications about your freedom. Complaints of wive-hood. Humor about how perfectly reasonable is to get rich, by kidnapping a young woman… (Honestly, after all that, you don’t have mercy for them of the panic they might experience when they realize their guest is not refreshing in another room, and have left the estate altogether. Alas, that guest is you.) You string curses at them, the only form of thinking you have in regard, and feel the bulk of emotions resonate with every stomp, even spilling out of your tear ducts. Your dampening body, and the length of the road don’t make it any easier, feeding your frustration. Your only anchor is your self worth, the reason you began this path in the first place, and you desperately hope it will turn the tide in a while.

Though now, the picture you paint with those foul words and wet clothes isn’t exactly the brightest.

It is still among these moods, that Obi Wan catches up to you. You’re not exactly surprised to see him, his carriage closing the twenty minute distance you put between yourself and that damned house with a speed that you think can’t be that good for the horses in the long run. They stop abruptly at your side, and you have all those insults readied if it turns out to be that fucked up man or polite declines if it is indeed Obi Wan.

But, you can’t speak them. The world feels like it freezes, the raindrops slowing down, and carrying away your burdens as they fall to the soil. The small door opens, and Obi Wan rushes out of it, with an expression that is so honest and raw. His fright vanishes at the sight of you, that scared gaze dissolving, eyebrows relaxing… You can actually see his lips move, Thank God. He is totally undisturbed by the downpour, already making his strands stick to his forehead. His hands find yours, and pull you close, almost like an embrace. You look into his eyes, how focused they are on you, as if they could burn you from the inside with their intensity. You have an undeniable urge to kiss him right now, and that has nothing to do with lust, but your wish to undo the last couple of weeks, uphold that strong connection once the two you had. Of course, you don’t, you can’t, thus, you let him lead you inside, and continue towards whatever destination.

Funny, how you feel much calmer doing the thing you thought you wouldn’t. Moreso, you have no woes about it either.

The silence is deafening, but nobody dares to open their mouth, the greatness of the storm of emotions you both are having too heavy on your tongues. He puts his less soggy jacket around your shoulders, you welcome it with a nod. That’s the moment you realize the redness on his knuckles. It’s not hard to guess the scene, and that has your head turned to the floor, processing the entire night. It is also at this moment that you become aware of your fresh tears, still sliding over your cheeks. Even if he notices them, he doesn’t do a thing about it, an indifference you’re grateful for. He just looks out of the window, and contemplates, same as you.

===

The tub filled with hot water doesn’t make you any wetter, but it helps with the temperature. You’re sorry that you exhausted the owners of the inn you had to stay in, (for it was getting impossible to travel in that rain) with this request, but a voice tells you that Obi Wan wouldn’t have it any other way. You’re unbelievably silent as he sorts it all out, staying in your bubble, unintentionally playing the part of the damsel in distress. You listen to his list of requests, for the horses, for three rooms (the best reserved for the lady, he insists), a tub to be prepared for you, and some tea-

“No need.” Your voice is weak, but it is clear. He would’ve protested this answer, but it is the first time you’ve talked after leaving the house, how ironic, and the realization sets deep in both of you. After that, you feel the words pile up on your tongue, but in a blink, you find yourself in a room. Alone.

“So sorry, I thought they gave me this room.” He stands at the door, holding it half open, face turned in the opposite direction.

“Obi Wan.” His gaze hesitantly finds your way again. God, he’s about to kill you with that blues… “Can we talk for a second?”

You name yourself a hypocrite for asking that, in this state, but you can’t breathe with all that untold things if you spend another second without explaining yourself to him, and apologize for all the trouble you’ve caused. And, isn’t this already proof of the trust you have for him, how vulnerable you can be in his presence?

And, there’s nothing he’s not seen before, after all.

He gingerly closes the door, locking it in a swift motion, and makes his way to you. You pull yourself together, and reach for his hand for him to help you out.

“No, stay. Your fingers are still cold.”

You can’t hide the small smile forming on your face as you settle back, careful to keep most of your body underwater. He, ever noble, keeps his eyes straight on your face, which somehow doesn’t help. There’s something about his rolled-up sleeves, the matching three-piece suit down to two for the damp jacket sits behind the chair in your back against the fireplace. His hair is drying up in all defiant shapes, and you have to stop imagining that morning he woke up next to you.

“I just wanted to say thank you. For everything. I- I never intended to cause this big of a mess, and make someone clean up after me. Certainly, not you, of all people. You shouldn’t have tired yourself this much, and I’m sorry for it.”

“You can’t expect me to do nothing.” The sentence begs for a dear to be added in the end, and he has to fight his throat to silence himself. Instead, there’s a kind tug at the corners of his lips.

“You’re right.” You nod. “But the truth is, I wasn’t thinking clearly. I needed to get out, I just couldn’t sit there pretend I didn’t hear all those nasty comments.”

His fist clenches at the reminder, and you once again spot the bruises settling in on his knuckles, filling with the desire to mention them, but you inevitably decide not to. “That asshole-“

”He was obnoxious since the first hour, and loud, but that doesn't scare me, for thus he has proven himself to be just a foul mouthed man. But, that title started not to cover the extent of it- it was too much and I couldn’t take it anymore. You may say it was obvious from the start, but I tried my best to not evolve this into a thing I would regret afterward. And I succeeded.”

“So you don't even regret ever setting foot in that house?”

A tinge of disgust seizes your face, but only for a moment. Even with all those words echoing in your ear, you don't have hatred in your heart, or any remorse. You're not so quite sure about its reason, nor do you wish to be, avoiding all analysis. Like you don't know the basics already. But the sudden change in your expression tells everything. “I don’t think I can ever regret it. At least, not in its entirety.” You say, hugging your knees and lowering your head. Hot steam no longer hits your skin, you realize in your attempts of distraction.

There's a second of silence in the room, despite the thunderstorm raging outside. You are as cold as in the beginning because of it, and you almost contemplate how good of an idea this conversation was, especially under these circumstances.

“I’d say the same.” Obi Wan speaks, and that's when goosebumps rise on your skin. Your eyes meet his, then flutter away quickly, overwhelmed. Does he mean-

Why is him meaning that any different than yours, huh? Why is it any worse when he says it?

“You should get out of there.” He reaches for a towel, and you shyly stand up, turning your back and pressing your arms around yourself. Nothing he hasn't seen before, right? As the coarse fabric is draped around your shoulders, you can’t help but feel afire, the imprint of his hand around your shoulders for a second lingering way more than it should, creating a tingling sensation.

“Thank you.”

“Well, I must return to my room now.” He folds his hands together, like trying to preserve where they’ve touched, and his eyes still stay respectfully up, causing your heart to lose its rhythm. There has never been a scenario that involved nakedness without… sexual intentions, and clearly, it’s not even crossing your minds right now. Your awareness of it takes up all the space in your mind, tosses every other idea out, and leaves you at the mercy of your soul.

“Obi Wan.” Fuck, the way you call his name, it is bound to weaken him every time. “Can you-” Oh, haven't you demanded enough from him? “I- I would like it if you stayed.”

His mouth hangs open for a second, with a subtle sharp inhale. His fingers tighten around each other, then relax all together, hanging free by his side. “Of course.” For all the words that come to his lips, it’s a most simple answer.

Not that you have any complaints.

You’re filled with another kind of thrill, being this open with your wishes, but having no clue whether they’ll take the night, having no clue where you want the night to go, or how to act in this very moment, half covered. You just know that you prefer him, being in the same chamber as you. You’d prefer to listen to his idle talk or slow breaths, than the silence of the room. You’d prefer him to snore in your bed than to picture him in his own, lying awake. (Because let’s face it, it’d take a while for him to surrender to sleep, if left to his own devices.)

He takes a step towards the armchair, unbuttoning his vest and you come back to your senses, stepping out of the tub in the opposite direction, towards the nightgown the innkeeper gracefully lent to you. It’s slightly large for your body, definitely not tailored for someone close to your size, but if Obi Wan ever heard you commenting on the fact, he’d wholeheartedly claim you still looked like an angel. Since you don’t, he doesn’t too, but it’s obvious in the way he takes in your form, a battle of excess fabric against your movements. He has to bury a groan when your sleeve falls down your shoulder, a simple accident. He knows that shouldn’t have been seen by him, or you didn’t do it on purpose, that tonight is not meant for those activities, and it shouldn’t get him so bothered up, but it fucking does. Does it also make him want to slap himself? Yes.

Walking near the fireplace, you wring the excess water from your hair and run your fingers through the strands before rubbing that towel aggressively, for the fact that it is already soggy enough, and is not gonna do much. You despise sleeping with wet hair, it is an invitation for you to get sick, not to mention that you’ll be sharing the bed, leaving frustrating streaks of wetness on the sheets for them.

“Hey, hey, let me help you.” Is he a little bit scared? The answer is another yes. But he’s not gonna stand there and watch you fight with your hair. He takes the fabric, locating the most usable spots, and slowly massages your strands with them. Objectively, it’s not a lot different in terms of overall results, but it does more than that anyway. Despite the forbidden intimacy, despite the question of “How is he so good at it?”, you’re lulled by the constant movements, the tension in your muscles easing off. He keeps you by the fire longer than you would’ve stayed, and that achievement belongs solely to him. Frankly, he too is not sure how long the two of you could stand like that, or put an end to it. All that matters is that your hair is pleasantly damp, less bothersome, and he did that.

To be honest, with each minute he is in your presence; the task of holding onto his manners, respecting his broken heart, and following your lead is getting harder to manage.

“Thank you.” You murmur, eyelids barely held open, and he feels like a juggler, suddenly losing his sense of balance, and dropping one of his props.

“You’re welcome.” Perhaps he was the one to thank, for the pleasure. That’s the second prop, falling down.

Still, it’s obvious how that sentence misses a darling thrown out after it.

You climb the bed, and he follows suit. You both favor the edges of the mattress, and there’s a ridiculous distance between both of your bodies, but you’re both too timid to use it, even at the risk of tumbling down.

Only after the urge to find a better position kicks in that you move, and end up just a little closer, face turned to his side.

He’s already turned to you, eyes closed but definitely not trying to sleep, or relax if nothing. He opens them of course, after you rustled the sheets that hard.

“What if I get sick tomorrow?” Admittedly, that’s a silly question, but the scenario occupies your mind. All the elemental factors are present, and you only have a formal dress on your back. Also, the fact that it would be all your fault, yet you are the one to complain? You hate yourself for saying it out loud.

“Then we would stay ‘til you got better.” His point-of-fact words, softened with his bedtime voice, must be annoying. Must be. It is not. It is the raw truth, straight from his core. You won’t disrespect it, (again). “I would take care of you.”

(Doesn’t he, always?)

A shiver runs down your spine.

(He’d name this place heaven, if it allowed you two to stay together a little longer.)

“Obi Wan.” Whispering, trying your best to break that ugly silence, not to crush under the weight of his words, but more importantly to let him know your truths, the alignment of your soul. “I- I never told you how much I appreciated you. Now just today, but especially today.”

He’s trying so hard not to sound rude, or leave you unanswered, but none of them are good enough. Thankfully, you are not expecting one. Your fingers ghost over his knuckles, afraid to hurt him. he’s not even sure you’re doing that, ‘til you hunch over, and press a small kiss over them.

That’s all the acknowledgment he needs, ever. It wasn’t becoming of a gentleman, obviously, but the situation didn’t require gentleman-cy, too. He has no recollection of how his fist ended up in that man’s eye, except for the exact second it happened, feeling his shirt slide from his other hand as the impact sizzled through his bones, and sent the man to the floor. He found himself in the middle of saying God knows what- he still doesn’t have a single clue, and thinks about the possibility of how they’ll resonate, ‘til it reaches his ears once again.

Though, he has no fear regarding that, or the altercation before it. Nor regret.

“I am honored that our names are spoken together, a testament of our likeness.”

The third prop.

It falls, most obviously, but he doesn’t show it. Not under these circumstances. No matter how you try to avoid the subject of love, or a future, he’s burning for it, burning for you. In that moment, it is settled that it’ll always be that way, forever. You’re absolutely crushing his heart, and maybe even crush yours in the process (for which reasons, he’s never sure), regardless of your intentions pointing otherwise, because he knows you’re pushing through your struggles to speak up, select the appropriate expressions, to honor your past. He’s touched by your effort, as well as your words, oh, your words… This is the only compliment he’ll ever accept, and it’s not even meant to be a compliment. Your voice is already etched into his brain, and there will not go a single day he’s not reminiscing about it.

Thus, with such strong emotions, his every muscle twitched with the desire to pull you closer, wrap his arm around your waist, card his fingers through your cool hair as your lips meet. He wants to kiss you slowly, savor your taste and caress your tongue with his, for the sole purpose of being close to you. You, throwing one leg over him… You, falling asleep in his arms as he gets to bathe in your enchanting scent… The feeling of your warm breath against his neck as you take refuge in there… He’s surprised he doesn’t have to chain himself not to act on any of these images.

(Oh, it very much feels like he has done that anyway)

Yet, it is probably the worst night to do so. It has all been too much, and all this on top of that is a recipe for disaster. A disaster he’s been struck with nonetheless, though, perhaps he can spare you from.

When it comes to you, he has always put his heart before his mind, (but never disregarding the latter part. It is the essential element to keep both of you safe, to never compromise your social statuses, to create the optimum atmosphere for your relationship to flourish (by your own unusual standards)). For the first time, he’s not following that code. Even he can’t imagine the consequences if he doesn’t.

You’re glad that nothing has changed. No response from him, no action. His relaxed expression tells you enough; the calmness of his eyes, his slow breaths and the slight curve of his lips… To be honest, you’re relieved to see your words reach their destination but also set with the urge to prove them. To press down your mouth on his, from which you hope for an answer; to hold his hand without causing any discomfort, or simply hug him for a second, eliminating all space between your bodies like your souls.

Alas, the role of the hypocrite is a part you no longer wish to play, and you’re perfectly willing to hurt yourself by not succumbing to your wishes, and refrain him from further confusion.

“Good night, Obi Wan.” You say, fingers grazing over his for the last time, and curl yourself into a ball.

“Good night, my dearest.”

===

The morning is unlike the previous example.

You wake up to him getting up, so there’s no way for you to know if your bodies drifted closer during the night, but considering the position of your arm, extended way beyond the middle, it is quite possible to assume some physical contact was present.

Considering you two are not facing each other, thus acknowledgment of the situation is not a matter, your embarrassment is half of what it should be.

Though, your cheeks burn brighter each second you can’t peel your eyes off of him, filling up the rest of that cup. Watching him walk around, the movement of each chiseled muscle on his back as he puts his shirt and trousers on quickly highlights another impropriety. He is perfection, even in that drowsy state of the human condition, there’s harmony to his every motion, the slow steps he takes, the way the fabric glides against his skin, the subtle fine arrangements of his fingers to make sure it looks decent, even how he breathes causes him to blend into the room, but also bedazzle it in his grace, make him stand out like a crown jewel, a masterpiece of arts that name the place.

You can only stop your ogling once he leans in and stirs the flames, which were already going strong since they were last fed before you went to sleep- wait, that doesn’t seem possible, did he actually sever his sleep to tend to it?

Is there any other explanation you need?

Your heart may flutter out of your chest after this realization, so you skirt out of the blankets. Of course, the sound draws his attention, and you’re caught, forced to react.

Yet, the unstoppable smile forming on his lips inspires a similar response on yours so easily, so naturally that you don’t feel obligated at all. On the quite contrary, that simple mimic banishes any pretense, showering you with reassurance and bravery, the motivation to act on your own true terms, not society’s or the ones you pressured onto yourself.

“Good morning.” The simultaneous greeting pulls a giggle from both of you, and it is all so small, yet so much. You sway away from his direction, casually reaching for your clothes, hoping he doesn’t notice the tremor of your legs when you shed the nightwear and put the chemise on. Because you know, he’s watching you. Divine justice, perhaps.

“Be careful, Obi Wan, I might start to think you enjoy watching me get dressed too much.” The snarky comment, fighting its way out of your mouth further softens the atmosphere, and it is like the first days of spring after a harsh winter, soothing your souls with relief.

“Guilty as charged.”

You shake your head, consumed by his usual forward banter. A scene taken straight out of your past. You shimmy into your dress instead of coming up with a cleverer response.

“You don’t sound sick.” He says, indicating that he’s been paying attention.

Biting your lip, you turn away. “Actually…”

“Is there something wrong?” He ends up right beside you in a blink, as if the world changed by your unfinished sentence.

Your heart picks up a different rhythm, hands raised in position to tie your ribbon but frozen. “It’s nothing, my throat just feels-”

“Do you want me to call a doctor?”

That was the exact reason why you started with it’s nothing. Alas… “No, it’s probably just my overthinking and coming up with strange sensations.” And if not, it depends on how well you spend tonight, so there’s not much room for intervention. Definitely not in medical terms.

“Pity.” His comment makes you scoff. After that, you can’t reward him with your concerns, can you? It is funny, ugh.

“Let me help.”

Your heart can’t get any rest as the tension simply changes garbs, his fingers trailing over yours and leading a 180° turn, leaving a blazing line along your skin, to tie the ends of your ribbon together. Your arms tentatively fall to your sides, not sure what to do with their freedom. His breaths lick your neck while he attentively, slowly smooths his creation, and you’d probably freak out if you weren’t so focused on the sheer range of his skills.

(Also the mystery of how he comes to acquire it, but it’s only the deep, dark parts of your mind speaking. Moreover, you do not pride yourself in a position to be jealous. You absolutely are, on that tiny level, and no, you’ll never admit it.)

Though, you’re not gonna comment on that, not when your heart threatens to fly out of its cage. The sacredness of the action brings back the echoes of your concerns, not a single one strong enough to overtake you, but the cacophony of them loud enough to occupy the entirety of your capacity.

All that talk of past times… Coupled with a little hesitancy, and how the tables turn…

“T- thank you.”

“My pleasure.” Like he just didn’t flip the dynamic, he carries on with his outfit, tying his cravat. His beautiful hands work expertly, effortlessly, and the result is perfect, even without a mirror, eyes on you the entire time.

“Is it looking fine?”

“Yes.” You meekly answer. It is decent, like he always is. Somehow witnessing that feels as sensual as the previous scene, pulling you further down the whirlpool.

Embarrassed enough already, you busy yourself with your hair, accepting the mess that it is, and decide on a simple bun, as much as possible. The practiced moves bring you some sense of calmness and control, even if the result isn’t perfect. The silence helps too, along with his occupancy of tidying up the room.

“Do you want to have some breakfast?” He asks. God, how does he still sound that cheery?

“No, thank you.” You don’t want to keep your father worrying any longer, and it’s not like you’re going to faint. The memory of your last food in the most unpleasant company is still strong enough to expel any thought of hunger.

That answer may be the clearest thought you’ve ever had this morning, yet it is the one that whispers doubt into his heart. You are silent, turned away from him, and far too engrossed in whatever unnecessary thing you’re doing. Because now, he fears that if the two of you leave this room, this building, all your lives in it will be a part of the history, never to be repeated or worse, mentioned again, lost in the torn pages. The joke about residing here for however long- seems awfully bitter, perfectly demonstrating he’d rather hold on to the possibility than put an end to this.

How could that be love?

Perhaps you were right, accusing him of madness.

That’s the only reason he walks out of the room to prepare the carriages, instead of cocooning the both of you in.

===

“Father!” You wrap your arms around him, who’s standing by the main entrance to your estate, waiting anxiously. He does the same, unaffected by the eyes that watch, the staff, and a mere acquaintance, Lord Kenobi.

Now Obi Wan knows who you got your bravery from.

He stands quietly, hands folded in front of him, not sure what to do but damn sure not to leave. He had plenty of time to think about his madness on the road, and decided it was not anything pathological- it was pure love and desperation for you. Isn’t that the nature of most of your meet-ups? Consoling each other in the positively dreadful situations, and utilizing everything to spend a second more together?

He hears you reassuring him of your well-being, and summarize the thing in pretty understated phrases. Even that makes him stutter over his words in a fit of rage. Obi Wan agrees. You distract him by speaking of the help you’ve gotten from a valiant friend, and that’s how he enters the conversation.

“Good morning, Sir.”

How he keeps it all cool, sharing and shaping his anger, silencing any doubt that may arise in him is a surprise, though he’s called a great negotiator for a reason, right? His work in various cases in court has earned him the title. He’s not overtly a fan of flaunting it. Though, it helps him a great deal in this instance.

At least, enough to have a pleasant exchange in these unpleasant circumstances, and secure permission to talk to you again.

Alone.

It is weird enough as it is already, you and him spending the night at some inn, him casually chatting with your father like his clothes haven’t benefitted from the merits of ironing, not to mention his hair being on the wild side after a slight treatment of rain, and now he is requesting your attention? Not only yours, but your father’s too in extent?

His plans have never been so crystal clear.

“No.” You declare your objection so clearly, in one word as the door closes behind him, giving you the privacy of the room. “No, no, no, no.”

“I haven’t even opened my mouth!” He objects, though it is more of a principal thing, than an actual defense. He knows you’ve worked it all out already. God, could he expect anything less from you? Your watery eyes and trembling hands break his heart into a million pieces, reactions so strong even before he has a chance to utter their cause. He caresses his beard, reevaluating if he should continue-

He can’t live with the consequences if he dares not. He can’t live with what-ifs, or not knowing the reason why you are so repulsed by the idea or would you still feel the same, if he told you about his love for you. Of course, that would require some magic, considering the magnitude and intricacy of it. How is he supposed to put the purest feelings he’s ever had to mere words, the origin of the butterflies caged up in his chest, the wires of his brain getting tangled up whenever you’re not around, and the constant intoxication from the strongest liquor he’s ever consumed? He’d rather die than sober up, and a part of him already recognizes that it’s not a possibility. It is his poison and antidote. There’s not a moment that passes without either of them.

And surely, he has no complaints about it. Never will. It is a brave choice, but what’s braver is this moment.

“No.” You repeat, hands clasped together to stop them from shaking. Your voice is low albeit steady, as much as it can be.

Because you do not lift your eyes to meet him. “You can’t propose to me, because I can’t refuse it. But I will. Then the whole country will wonder what is so wrong with you, and me, and they will talk about it all the time, for years to come. The whispers will be the first thing that you hear in every room you enter, and you’ll see the mischievous glint in the eyes of every person you meet, them scrutinizing whether those rumors are true. Our reputations will be tarnished forever, and we will hate each other for it.” And you can’t stand that.

You don’t sound like this is the first time you’re putting these words together. In all your distressed state, you sound awfully logical in your own way, so focused on one improbable, insane possibility (damn those reputations, he can never hate you), but devising every little detail.

“Why?” He basically hollers, running a hand through his hair. Why does that potential is the one you envision? “Why can’t you marry me?”

One can only dream that someone outside isn’t listening.

“Because- I don’t know!” You take a desperate step closer, showing him your honesty. You truly can’t quite name your aversions, and isn’t that already enough of a reason to stay away, spare the person you’re facing? “I don’t know how to be a wife! And I am scared. All my life I alienated myself from the idea of a marriage, I methodically dismissed every chance claiming it wasn’t the time, all the way ‘til I would say it was too late. I was content with that idea. Because I love- loved my life the way it is; I get more than I need from my father, and that is to remain unchanged when my brother takes over, and I am free as a bird, unbound by society’s expectations, traveling wherever, wherever and trying new things. I was, I am so happy about it that anything that may alter it I shun from immediately. And now I find myself in a place I never imagined, and I am scared. I don’t know what happens now. I don’t know what to expect. I don’t know what that future looks like for us.”

He moves towards you, his head tilted sideways in understanding, arms reaching for yours. Finally, finally hearing your justifications, the basis of your attitude, fills him with pride and compassion, and most importantly, gives him an opportunity to help you solve those problems, together. But, you hush him, squeezing his wrists in gentle guidance, with tears streaking across your cheeks. “I just know that I love you. I love you so much that my heart will always feel like a weight in my chest when I’m not with you, like a ship sinking, but never reaching the bottom. And I will continue to love you even if you stop loving me back, but I would rather lose you on my terms than by the burdens a marriage brings.”

“Why do you so believe that a mere contract would change my feelings? Do you think my affections for you are that fragile?”

You frantically shake your head, causing the drops to fall faster. “No, I’m not saying that-“

“Then what?” He snaps, though not because he’s angry. He wants to learn every single reason that’s keeping you away.

“You don’t know what that will do to us.”

“No, I don’t! And I don’t care! It will never change my feelings.” This, he can shout freely. This is the simplest truth for all his remaining days on this earth.

You don’t know that, you want to object. “Obi Wan…” Is the response that comes out of your mouth. “I am not a good bride.”

“No.”There’s acceptance in his tone, a punch to your guts. “You’re the love of life, my companion, my everything.” When he pulls you even closer, and cups your cheeks, you let him. “Haven’t we been through all the struggles a couple could share already? Haven’t I seen all of you, and let you see all of me? Haven’t you claimed my entire soul, and occupied my every single thought? You made me break my rules, and painted a picture I never thought was suited for me- and I came to like that picture very much. In fact, it’s all I ever want my future to look like, with you in it. You, exactly in the way you already are, with all your unsusceptibility to the norms and striking habits. I know that can be scary. I am afraid too. But, anything worth doing starts like this, I know it. And we’ll be the biggest idiots in the world if we let our fear rule us.”

You can’t help but laugh a little, the joyful sound making his breath hitch. It is reflected on his face too, and it is something you’ll hold on to, alongside the tears that begin to form on his eyes. Fortunately, they sit there, despite him kneeling in front of you, his fingers never leaving the bend of your arm, only to follow the route they create, and hold onto both of your hands. “Please, marry me.”

You’re convinced, but your tongue is still tied, so you nod. Your entire upper body shakes with the gesture in seconds, making you look like an overexcited child, on the verge of losing their balance with the restlessness of their legs. You barely feel him kissing your knuckles before he stands up and embraces you, stabilizing both of you in both physical and emotional terms. Let’s be real, if he kissed you instead as he desperately wished to, you’d fall on the floor (and continue there- ‘til somebody discovered the two of you in very indecent terms). His chuckles quickly become your favorite song, you feel blessed as they delight your ears, and make your chest vibrate like his. He revels in the newfound proximity, despite the fact that you’ve been much, much closer in the past. This is new. This is raw love, uncombined with other emotions, strengthened by the absolute truth that you two are meant for each other, and with the promise of you’ll do something about it. He holds you ‘til your sense of balance is restored, for he now has urgent matters he has to attend to. He’ll get to hold you forever soon, and that revelation doesn’t change the herculean feat of letting you go now. He can’t help but wipe the streaks of wetness on your face, though it forms again. He solely doesn’t repeat himself because of the widest grin on your lips. You press yourself to his palm, eyelids closing for a moment, then place a small peck on it.

“I- I’m now gonna go and talk to your father, get the papers right- and find a-” oh, that’s not “a”, he is going to require many others even if he keeps everything minimal, “I’ll be back in three, fuck, four hours, okay?”

“What? No!” You exclaim, almost giving him a heart attack.

“What’s wrong?” His fingers tighten, a slight tremble taking over them. You have to smile to get him to relax once again, and raise your eyebrows wittily, as if he is a fool for not imagining it already, reminding him of your nature.

“I’m only doing this once. I want everything to be right.”

He squints his eyes, grasping your chin. There’s a few seconds of silence, the time it takes for his nerves to settle. When it does, you’re struck by the intensity of his blue irises, the condensed calm before the storm. “So you want to stay as my fiance ‘til the next season starts, in eight months, succumbing to waiting as we get no freedom to ourselves, always in the center stage, enjoying the last of our bachelor states, the lonely nights and beds bigger than you can ever occupy.”

His other hand, wandering across your waist tells you exactly what he implies. While you actually weren’t planning on such a thing, it causes a surge of rush to overtake you, burning you from the inside. Pursing your lips as you free your face from his grip, with a contradicting shaky breath, you say. “I was always fond of winter weddings…”

To this, he laughs, echoing in the room, and you join him.

One can only hope whoever outside listens to this too, this moment of pure joy preserved in one more mind.

===

“I couldn’t be happier to be married to you.” Obi Wan whispers, but the sentence is loud and clear to you, etched into where he takes nest in the crook of your neck, hot breaths burning your skin.

“We’re still not- ngh“ Yes, this is supposed to be the rehearsal, the night before the main event. You two should be at the reception downstairs, among your many relatives and friends and other members of the society, all gathered for tomorrow morning, when these words of yours will be invalid.

Of course, you are further making a hypocrite of yourself by the way you hold onto him, legs wrapped around his waist, arms locked around his shoulders as he burrows his cock into you. It was impossible to wait any further, as you were separated by the whole ordeal of preparations and the watchful eyes. The moment you found a clearing, you two slipped away, cue to now, where your back on the wall as he supports you against it. You didn’t even get one meter away from the door, you could basically reach the knob with a simple extension of your elbow, but in the end, who cares? Who cares when he fills you so deliciously, scratching the itch that has been building for some time, peppering you with all the love in his heart?

Still, your sentence is cut abruptly as he drives his hips faster, rougher- very much an act of pedantry, advising not to get lost in the details. It works, the correction dies on your tongue, though a quite loud moan takes its place. His hand flies to cover your mouth, and your eyes pop open, meeting his. The pressure of his palm against your face almost forces another sound out of you. Fuck, you adore those blue storms, even when they are focused elsewhere, turned to the door as if it can see past behind it, scanning for intruders. You do actually whimper when the danger dissolves, the vibrations running among his bones, and he keeps up his pace, hitting that sweet spot over and over again.

However, it is getting harder in terms of balance as he now has one hand to stabilize you, and despite your best efforts, it is quite hard not to slide off of the smooth fabric of his clothes. Remorsefully, you push on his shoulders, and he understands, pulling his cock out of you and burying his mouth on your skin. He stifles a sob in there, the frustration getting the best of him.

“Oh, you definitely had too much wine.” Look at who’s talking, you with those wobbly legs and bitten lips…

“No, I just had too little of you.”

Your heart flaps its wings out of your chest, as it does after his every cheesy compliment. You still cannot figure out how he makes you blush harder with those words, even as he ravages you in the meantime.

You reach for a kiss, it is always a good idea. He hums contently at the touch, grateful at the most basic form of contact. Obi Wan rocks against you unintentionally, and that’s how the unsatiated desire wages war, with desperate groans and roaming hands.

Then, his fingers tighten around your waist, and you find yourself supported against the vanity with your open palms, depositing most of your weight there (thank God, because you couldn’t trust your feet much longer). He pulls your hips back to his. Your back arches in a way that is most complementary to his chest, and fuck, it is a vision.

It literally is.

Fluttering your eyes open for only a second (that was your intention at least), you’re struck down with the image of the two of you in the mirror, faces contorted in the prettiest way that is possible in this dirty position, heavy lids and open mouths, fingertips whitened by the strong grasp you have on each other, the matching colors of your outfits…

Yes, even with that detail, you’re still on his side, agreeing you’d be idiots if you weren’t doing this.

Deciding to take the sight from its direct source, you turn your head to the side a little, looking at the adonis of a man you’ll soon call your husband, with his neatly trimmed beard and prominent cheekbones and long eyelashes you are slightly jealous of and so much more…

He meets your gaze, breathless with similar thoughts, that little tug on the corner of his mouth telling you all you need to know, but then he nudges your face to its previous state by a small clasp of your chin, and you’re watching him through the reflection, leaning forward when he starts to fumble with your skirt once again.

The moan that leaves you is totally incapable of being unobscured as he enters you anew. The change in the angle along with the visual stimulation has you teetering on the edge quite easily, like him, but he denies it, maintaining slow movements and choking out any noise that dares to leave him.

Of course, all is impeded when the door is knocked-

“Occupied!”

Your voices are synchronized, high and tight. The clock stops for a moment for your bodies, as if the stationary status makes it any less scandalous, and both of you fixated on the doorknob.

It never turns. Never.

Still, the dilated pupils remain a little longer, joined over the mirror, with big puffs of breath and shaking hands.

“Do you think they-“ There’s not an exact word that you can find to explain what has just occurred, but the sentiment is clear.

“Probably.” And the answer too is just as clear.

Well, the only thing lost is the trivial achievement of never being discovered before the wedding.

A wedding which is hours away.

So, you push back, wiggling your hips. His unrestricted sound is all you need to regain your spirits back, and you do it once more. Just like that, the wheels are turning.

“You realize there’s a bed behind us, right?” He asks as he slowly thrusts into you.

“Yes, but I like the view better here.”

#star wars imagine #star wars fanfiction #obi wan kenobi imagine #obi wan imagine #obi wan kenobi x reader #obi wan x reader #obi-wan kenobi x reader #obi-wan x reader #obi wan kenobi smut #obi wan kenobi fluff #obi wan kenobi angst

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tabithatwo · 10 months

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Lowkey imagine the breaking my silence meme bc it feels real for this sentiment but I don’t want to add it here okay? Are you ready? Are you prepared for me to maybe piss you off a little idk how this will be received so just keep an open mind (or don’t I can’t control the gates of your brain I guess but at least I’ve warned you!!)

I think the fact that the two main ways of categorizing jackie taylor are, when boiled down to their simplest terms,

(1) popular mean girl who is a selfish bitch who I hate

(2) loser girl failure who isn’t actually popular or talented who I love

is ummmm sort of telling.

Like. Stay with me. I’m not hating on anyone. Actually, if you’re in group one I am hating on you a little tbh and you can clock out early and start sending me that hate anon now lmao cause this post isn’t really about you. But group two! stay with me for a minute because I get you! I really do! But I want to challenge that thinking and sort of examine it.

Why do we need to twist jackie into something else to like her? Like, if you see jackie as kind and loving and generally just a teenage girl trying to do her best, right? Why then do parts of her have to be “explained away” to a degree? She’s the striker and captain of a nationals bound team. Why does she have to not be a successful athlete to align with the sweetness that you see in her? Yes, coach martinez tells her she isn’t the best on the team, but we see how they treat allie who isn’t actually up to par. There’s nothing to indicate that jackie isn’t very good. Why does she actually have to be friendless besides shauna? Yes, it’s clear those two are codependent and mostly attached at the hip, but in the pilot we aren’t given reason to think that jackie is some friendless unliked girl. She’s socializing with different people and they seem to like her plenty. When she lines the team up yeah, there’s eye rolling, but they listen to her and they seem to mostly take her compliments fondly. She’s homecoming queen, that’s decided on by people voting you in and, generally speaking, you have to be liked and known by a lot of people for that to happen (again if you’re someone who thinks she’s an evil manipulative bitch somehow, this isn’t directed at you lmao).

Why can’t a girl be pretty and decently popular and talented at her sport and be kind and lovable? Why do we see a girl like jackie and need her to be secretly bad at that shit and not widely liked to find her palatable?

Like (1) girl is either truly pretty and popular and talented, so she’s a bitch OR (2) girl is sweet, so she can’t actually be pretty and popular and talented.

That’s the formula we’re fed constantly and I’m really tired of it cause it’s rebranded misogyny that we internalize and accidentally project onto the world tbh and I’m guilty of that in ways, like I’ve been there!!!

But idk. Yeah, Jackie is awkward at times and not good at popping deer tendons and embarrassingly earnest and a lot of other things along those lines!! But you can be all those things and still be everything else she is y’know? That’s sort of my whole point.

Anyway, let girls be good at things without that making them a bitch is what I’m getting at, I guess. Because I see a lot of people defend jackie from the “she’s a mean bitch” hate by saying “no she’s not, she’s literally got one friend and she’s not even good at soccer.”

And it’s like WELL idk about that!! And even if that was true, why is THAT the automatic defense against someone calling her a bitch?? Why are those two things so heavily equated and not even viewed as a logical leap? Why is the defense not to bring up all the kind loving things we see her do, but to chip away at the traits that she possesses that we are trained to find obnoxious or hateable in women, but aren’t fucking innately bad?

Anyway just a thought! I don’t hate anyone for making a joke about girlfailure jackie okay! Some of those are so funny and legit but it’s an overall trend I’m discussing! And like the idea that to be a girlfailure in the ways that she is, she must also be not well liked and bad at the shit she loves! Just an observation! <3 <3 <3

#I love having a long absence from tumblr and immediately saying THIS lmao but like! idk! on my mind!#I might have another absence tbh my month is batshit but I DO plan on getting to my mountain of asks I SWEAR #anyway!!! jackie taylor is very special to me!!!#jackie taylor #shauna shipman #jackie x shauna #yellowjackets

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welcometomyoasis · 4 months

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end of year appreciation post

this year has been an emotional rollercoaster, but i wouldn't change a thing because i found svt and all of you 💕

sending a huge thank you from the bottom of my heart to those who interact with my posts. whether you follow my blog, like, reblog, send asks, or leave comments, just know i appreciate every single one of you.

as for my moots. thank you all for the laughs and interactions. i love you all so so much. so to express my appreciation, here's a list of which svt member i think you all would be because what fun is being carat if we can't do things like this.

@brownsugarbaybee Kari as seungcheol. Need I say more? In the way that seungcheol is the naturally protective alpha who babies his members, you do the same for me. You’re like the older sister I never had. You make me feel so safe, protected, and loved when I talk to you. I’m really socially awkward irl and am actually always afraid that I’ll say the wrong things, but with you, you never make me feel bad for sending too many asks, or spamming you through dms. You really create a safe environment for your followers and friends and I cannot thank you or express my gratitude enough for that. You were the first person i talked to ever (on anon) on tumblr and our friendship just grew from there. I love how we check in on each other frequently and randomly pop into each other’s asks just to say we missed each other. I’m always so happy when i see that you’ve sent me an ask/ dm. We’re like two magnets that can’t stay away from each other. I love that so much. Just like I love you. Here’s to a lot more love and interactions next year! (and yes, i’m dming you more mushy stuff later shhhh) 🤭

@wonijinjin Gigi as joshua. You're my actual other half? My soul sister? Like you notice there's no jeonghan on this list because you're my evil, lovable twin (okay you knew there was no jeonghan I texted you about this a month ago). FR THE SIMILARITIES BETWEEN US? From our bias lists, our need for perfectionism, our food cravings, us getting distracted all the time when we’re supposed to be doing work, to even the fact that we have the same frame for our glasses and hair colours. I could go on. Joshua suddenly appeared in my life and took over when i saw him in the anyone special video, kind of like the way you popped into my dms. We’ve literally talked everyday since then. All your messages, your words of encouragement, your comforting words, the random things we talk about (like the tote bag dilemma? Or all the possible collabs we could work on? OR ALL OUR TALKS ON SHUA AND HIS HANDS). I want you to know that I truly treasure each and every single one of our conversations. You’re one of my comfort people. Thank you for popping into my life because I cannot imagine my life without you rn. Yes, I’m not done but this is already very long so expect a lot of love coming your way in your dms. ILYSM SERIOUSLY. PLEASE LET’S MAKE THE SHU X GIGI MEETUP HAPPEN ONE DAY BUT NOT IN THE MIDDLE IT’S TOO DANGEROUS.

@haecien Cien as junhui. My timezone buddy. Like Junhui, you’re crazy and incredibly fun to be around. I’m not going to lie, I thoroughly enjoyed watching you spiral into loving new things and new groups. Sure, it’s entertaining, and I found it really endearing. I absolutely adore how you fall for other groups so quickly and how you’re so open about falling for them. You’re not afraid to go all out and show your affections towards them. You love with all your heart and that’s such a great quality to have. Your fics are super adorable and you were literally a trend setter because so many people followed your prompt generator idea. Junhui has the ability to be adored by everyone and you have that same effect on people.

@weird-bookworm Sky as soonyoung. Extremely easily excitable babies who always bully mingyu (see Zanna’s part). You get so happy and excited over all the little things. Your tags when you reblog posts gives me life because they’re always so funny and sweet. Not to mention, you have this bright energy around you that draws people to you. You’re so easy to love and interact with. Seriously, you’ve made such a big impact on everyone’s lives here on tumblr whether you know it or not. You might be the glue that is holding the mess that is tumblr together rn. Yea, you also give off major squishy vibes like Soonyoung, it makes me want to protect you more. With consent, i would love to mush your cheeks together and give you so many hugs. Love you Sky.

@woozvc-main Nora as soonyoung as well. In the short span of time that we've interacted, you really remind me of soonyoung and sky haha. You're easily excitable, you're funny, you're honest, you're great at writing your fics (like how soonyoung is great at dancing). You're so real when writing your little thoughts out on tumblr. You're so smart too? Like you're doing physics? And you randomly do math when you're bored? It's like when soonyoung randomly does little dances when he's bored or excited. Plus, you love pandas like soonyoung loves tigers! Okay, maybe not as extreme as that, but you get the point. We're both panda lovers. Why did we take so long to talk, I have no idea. But I love that we are talking now and here's to talking more in the coming year!!

@babyleostuff Natalia as Jihoon. You both write masterpieces. I think I’ve read through your masterlist a couple of times at this point. The way you manage to convey everyone’s personalities and emotions perfectly is amazing. More seriously though, you were one of the first people I approached on tumblr. Thank you for giving me advice before on how to start writing because it really helped a lot. Your advice was one of the reasons why I even started in the first place. You were also my first official moot on tumblr. I sincerely hope that life will treat you kindly, that you’re doing better, and that the next year will go smoothly for you.

@addicsvt Ari as dokyeom. Literal balls of sunshine?? Idk when I talk to you I can just imagine you smiling in the same adorable way that dokyeom does, with his eyes curled up into crescent moons. I hope you never stop writing because your fics are lovely. I really like the way you write! It’s so fluffy, and it makes me feel all warm and cozy. Your mood boards are also amazing!!! You’re seriously such a sweet angel. I can’t thank you enough for loving my writing, you have no idea how much that means to me. Love you and let’s talk more!

@fairyhaos Yena as dokyeom. Yena = a huge reason as to why I started writing in the first place. Yena = one of the first people I ever messaged on tumblr. Yena = ray of sunshine. Yena = one of the best fic authors on tumblr. You just remind me of Dokyeom so much maybe because you're both so in love with Joshua because you're both the happy angels of the group who find so much joy in simple things like Joshua, being around your friends, doing what you love, watching the pretty scenery around you, and you're so musically inclined? You also have this maturity about you that Dokyeom has? Like you know when to be serious and when to have fun which is such a great quality to have. Keep being you!! You'll do great in your upcoming exams!! Thank you for being such a kind person because the world needs more people like that. The only thing, you call Joshua a Shuamoroll. And now I call cinnamoroll that too...

@idubiluv Arya as minghao. Artist duo. I know we haven’t actually talked much but I do know that you love photography and art. I also don’t exactly know why, but I associate you with having this very calming, chill energy that is similar to minghao’s. Perhaps it’s the comfort that your fics give me when I read them? Maybe it’s because you’re so sweet, attentive, and supportive of everyone? Whatever it is, thank you for being my moot and I hope we can talk more in the future!

@slytherinshua Zanna as mingyu. HMMM WHERE DO I BEGIN FOR YOU ZANNA. You’re both always bullied affectionately. You’re both social butterflies. You’re literally everywhere on tumblr in this fandom and that fandom. Idk how you do it because you stan so many groups, write for so many groups, manage both caratsland and the kdrama label, etc. It’s definitely a talent. You’re also one of the sweetest people ever. Like you’re so happy to talk to anyone about anything and everything under the sun. It’s really cute, so please never stop. ONE THING THOUGH. Like mingyu, i feel like you’re always up late… i know timezones are a thing but PLEASE GO SLEEP EVERY ONCE IN A WHILE???? Seriously, i cannot count how many times i've seen "please sleep" on your posts and in the group chats... 🤣

@wheeboo Rania as seungkwan. My fellow criminal minds enthusiast, angst, and purple colour lover. I’ve never actually known anyone else who loves criminal minds so this is a really big deal for me. ANYWAY. I’m not just associating you with seungkwan because he’s your bias, though that is one reason. Seungkwan has this warm, inviting, witty, very accepting personality that is similar to yours. Idk if this makes sense but you write the way Seungkwan hosts. You’re fics are very cozy (even the angsty ones). You develop the stories so well. You put in splashes of humour or fluff, all while still keeping the readers in suspense until the moment is just right for everything to unravel. You’re also always so open when replying asks and responding to feedback on your posts. Plus you want to be a therapist one day? You’re seriously the best and the sweetest. You’ll do great. I’m extremely sure of it. Let's write more angst too!!

@askdacast Askdacast as vernon. LISTEN. YES I'M TAGGING YOU IN A SEVENTEEN POST, NO WE AREN’T MOOTS ON TUMBLR BUT WE ARE IRL SO HEAR ME OUT. Vernon is that one quirky member who does the weirdest things and embraces his quirkiness to the fullest extent. He just does what he wants, when he wants. At the same time, he's such a lovable guy who is adored by everyone around him. That's you. I've always admired your ability to just embrace being yourself even if you do face your own demons. You deserve everything that you've achieved and I'm so proud of you. I'll send you all the other sappy stuff privately... and let's go out to you know where. i mean we just discussed it yesterday? ALSO I HAVE TO PASS YOU YOUR PRESENT HHEEHEHE. BUT JUST KNOW THIS IS MY PUBLIC DECLARATION OF LOVE FOR YOU. I LOVE YOU THANK YOU FOR BEING MY IRL FRIEND FOR WHAT 6 YEARS NOW? ❤️

@mangocustard16 Mango as Dino. Honestly, I just got to know you last month but you’ve been such a joy to be around. You’re constantly putting out 11/10 content and reblogging stuff. Your incorrect quotes are hilarious. Your fics are so fluffy I want to melt in them. Your reblogs, especially the reblog chains you have with other people are so funny. You have a great sense of humour and you give this vibe that you’re just so happy to be here. I’m happy to have gotten to know you!

@eightlightstar Vittoria as Dino. We've only really talked once since we just became moots. I guess in that interaction I get Dino vibes from you? You're my fellow grad student who seems wise beyond her years just like Dino. You want to be a professor and get your PhD too! Dino is ambitious and that's how I would see you. You're going to do great! Let's talk more soon!

@glosskirt Gloss. If I were to liken you to a svt member, I would say you're a little like jun because you remind me of cien and you're kind of unhinged as well from what I've seen. But you're more of a bts stan. So, I'm doing this specially for you. My bts stan days were years ago, but I'm going to say that you remind me of Jhope. Happy, hopeful, sunshines of the group who are really funny. You care so much for others and you're so happy to interact with other people. Idk I saw your post about moving out of your lonely kpop phase and that made me feel something? Because I felt that way too after starting tumblr. I'm so glad we found each other through tumblr, and I hope we can interact more next year!

As for the rest of my moots, I'm sorry that we haven't interacted much. Sorry if you didn't want to be tagged. Here's just my little ramble for all of you because I'm still so thankful that we're moots and I would love to interact with you all more next year!

@amxlia-stars Amelia as Mingyu. You give me puppy like vibes and you just genuinely seem to be enjoying yourself here. Thank you for always liking my posts, it means a lot to me!

@mirxzii Roxie as Soonyoung. Idk the post of you horanghaeing in a museum really stuck with me haha. You're really nice and the aesthetic of your account is so sweet! Sorry that I haven't reached out much. Thank you for reblogging my work, I really appreciate it!

@icyminghao Noelle as Jihoon. Your posts are so so good? The way you write is so amazing. Actually I think your posts were some of the first I ever saw when I first started reading fics on tblr. It made me all giggly and happy. Major serotonin boost when I read them.

@aaniag Aania as Vernon. We haven't interacted much, but you remind me of Vernon because you can get very excitable and you're also really random? Like sometimes I see a huge wall of pictures on Sky's account from you. You're really nice and sociable too!

@staranghae Cherry as Seungkwan. I see you popping up everywhere to send those cute chain messages to everyone. You seem really sociable and fun! We just became moots so i'm sorry idk what else to say, but thanks for being here!

@seokminded Artai, @hrts4hanniehae Sadako, and @ryuwonieebae Ryuwon. I'm sorry to group you all together since I really don't know much about all of you at all. Hmm, I guess you all remind me of Vernon and Dino in some ways. I love the aesthetics of all your accounts. I mean that's the point of tumblr because we can express ourselves here. But your accounts and the things you all write just seem like you? Thanks for being my moots! Let's interact more in the future!

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dragonwritersblog · 26 days

Text

I’m looking for an artist to collab with for an AU

Hello! If you don’t know me already, my name is Dragon, the author of the TADC fics 5+1 and Royally Screwed (and also a funnybunny shipper). However, I am coming up with a totally new AU, something similar to the carnival and freakshow au as well as inspiration from Bendy and the Ink Machine, Poppy Playtime and Amanda the Adventurer.

I call it ‘The Amazing Digital REDACTED’ au.

In this au, you ‘the player’ play as Jax, an ex-employee of C&A returning to the abandoned building in order to find the rest of your work employees after a mysterious incident years ago. With hidden knowledge that he must enter the game in order to find them, Jax does just that while managing to retain his memories. Along with his accomplice Bubble (a helpful AI who wants to free the rest of the trapped souls) and some help from his friend Winter (yes Winter from 5+1 will be in this but that fic isn’t canon to this au) on the outside, Jax tries to fix his past mistakes and save everyone – especially a particular jester he loved and lost long ago.

Yup that’s right, Jax will be the main character of this au and you will be playing as him. Let me explain, there is a feature on AO3 that allows you to make multiple choices on how you want the story to play out, like a telltale video game if you understand what I’m saying. You will get to pick and choose how Jax goes about his adventure and receive more than one ending (with a canon ending as well). And yes, this au’s main ship is funnybunny as I believe that it deserves more recognition and I find that these two in this au are very interesting to explore (especially with their past).

However, this fic is going to take quite a long time to make and is going to be bigger than anything else that I have written in the past. That is why I want to team up with a fellow TADC/funnybunny artist (since I am not an artist and do better with writing and characters) and create a separate blog for this au to come up with comics and art together. If you’ve seen the blogs for the Carnival and Freakshow au’s, you know that with their comics and art they explore more of the world, drop some lore, do character sheets and explain the pasts of the characters. This is what I’m hoping for if I team up with an artist. This au will mostly be on tumblr however if it does well I might add it to twitter as well since I’m putting this post on twitter as well.

Here are what I have pictured for the characters so far.

Jax: Past name; Jack. Ex employee of C&A, main character and who you the player will be playing as. Before the ‘incident’, Jax used to work at C&A as part of a coding team, to make sure that there were no bugs before any games were released. While C&A wasn’t on his list of jobs to pick, it was the only one that seemed best due to the pay and the fact that they could pay for schooling for those with children. Since Jax has a little sister named Jane, and has no parental figures in his life, he takes the job in order to help pay for the both of them and to make sure that Jane gets a good education. Unlike his canon TADC counterpart, Jax is more quiet, tired and while sarcastic, isn’t all out cruel to everyone unless they are bad people (think Mike from the FNAF movie especially with his relationship with his younger sister). He becomes quite close with his boss’s daughter however, Penny (Pomni) with him starting to develop feelings for the shy girl. However, after the day of the ‘incident’ Jax is left with nothing but guilt since he knew things that contributed to that day. Now he has a chance to make things right and save everyone, and Pomni.

Pomni: Past name; Penny. Ex employee of C&A and daughter of the CEO Abel, Pomni is an extremely introverted and socially awkward person, due to being traumatised by her mother’s death. She and her father don’t have a good relationship, with reasons that will become clearer later. She was quite close to the past version of Ragatha, but other than her father, she doesn’t really have a relationship with anyone. She likes to work alone to focus on the numbers and accounting part of her job (she understands numbers more than people) until she meets Jack. Though Jack is usually a bit standoffish, he is sweet to Penny due to her shy nature and helps keep an eye on her throughout their jobs so that she doesn’t feel too overwhelmed. Overcome by his sudden kindness and protectiveness, Penny starts to develop feelings for Jax. However, after the day of the ‘incident’ she is now trapped in the game, forever a jester trapped in a box…until Jax shows up.

If you’d like to be an artist for this au and collab with me, you can send me a DM or @ me. Do either of these and a sketch of the characters and I will reach out to you and confirm that you can be my partner for this project.

Here are some visuals on how I envision the characters.

Jax:

Sans the goggles, think of Jax wearing this over his grey and dirty overalls, he could also be holding a makeshift weapon like a bat or a stick so that he can fight off enemies. This version of Jax is much more serious and he is ready to fight in order to get the job done.

Pomni:

(on the last pic, focus on the makeup rather than the outfit)

Overly baggy and childish, with blue and black instead of blue and red. This design is a reminder of her past trauma and as so, is implemented into her circus features. Due to it being too big for her, it makes it hard for her to run and escape, and the ridiculousness of it all is a huge slap in the face that this is her new life now and is fully erased of her past. Even the makeup covers up any kind of normalcy on her face.

Well that’s it for now, I hope you guys take this into consideration and I hope you all have a lovely day/afternoon/night.

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ryuichirou · 8 months

Note

What do you like about Idia?

I got so excited when I got your ask, Anon. And now it’s your problem because I’m probably going to talk a lot lol Thank you very much for asking and giving me an excuse to shower Idia with compliments.

And sorry for replying so late.

To be honest, Idia feels scarily close to being a perfect character for my liking, he kinda has all the qualities that I usually fall for + somehow manages to (unintentionally) incorporate vibes of so many other characters that I like. A friend that got us into twst knew that I’d instantly get invested, it’s almost embarrassing, to be honest lol

So the easy answer would be that I kinda like everything about Idia, but I am annoying, so here are some categories:

Visual

Idia’s design is so damn cute. I really like the combination of him being a lanky scrawny creature with bad posture and being almost “moe” level of adorable. His creepy smile and silly giggles and dark aura works very well with his pretty face with dark lips and this almost… pathetic regular expression. I think his face is what I like about him the most, both the expressiveness and the way it’s drawn in general.

His hair, obviously, are also a big part of it. It’s so unique. One of the first things I said when I started drawing Idia regularly was “oh I’m going to miss drawing his hair so much when we move on from twst” lol Because there is really no other character like that (well, there’s also Ortho, but you get what I mean). The shape, the physics behind it, the fact that it expresses Idia’s emotional state so nicely not only in colour (which is very pretty btw, both the blue and the pink hues, and the orange ones as well), but also in how it “acts”.

Also, Idia’s overall silhouette is great. It’s just… his clothing choices are so fun. His long moe sleeves in his PE uniform, his striped shirt that he wears under his uniform, and of course the huge bell-shaped hooded jacket that hides his body. For some reason it’s, I don’t know, especially cartoony? In a good way, of course.

And lastly, his body language. I love how awkward he is and how much he tries to take as little space as possible when he is stressed out or scared.

So yeah, as someone who draws, I really enjoy Idia. I always have fun with him, and it’s a huge part of why I’m so into him.

Personality/quirks

He is so annoying 😔 … and I love every second of it lol

I love the fact that Idia isn’t just a lovable hikki otaku guy, and he has a lot of unpleasant qualities: he is an elitist, he is stubborn, he is rude sometimes, he makes assumptions about other people (well, he’s surprisingly perceptive so he’s usually right BUT). He likes to tease and to get on the other person’s nerves, and whenever he feels threatened, it’s not unusual for him to attack with negativity first or just to take a dig at his opponent. He is both self-deprecating and self-loving at the same time. But honestly this is what makes him so great. I usually draw him being freaked out by others, but in fact I really really love it when Idia is insufferable.

Because it a) makes sense considering his background; b) is written in a way that is very fun to read; c) is balanced out very well.

Idia isn’t malicious; he’s just socially inept and genuinely scared of others. He is an asshole, but in reality it is due to the fact that he doesn’t know how to connect with others and doesn’t want to seem desperate, plus gets overwhelmed by others very easily. In fact, I think he is much more empathetic than Azul, for example, but I won’t talk about it this time.

I always think about that line that Idia said when he was roasting Riddle for not knowing how to play videogames. I don’t remember the exact line, but it was something similar to “I’ve never seen anyone who is as much of a noob as you lmao but I’m a fucking loser with no friends so yeah makes sense”. I think it describes Idia’s view on others and himself quite nicely: torn between “everyone is shit” and “I am shit”. “I am a genius and everyone is wrong” and… you know.

I also love that Idia drowns himself in his coping mechanisms, but he is still surprisingly realistic about what’s going on in his life. He did create a robot to resemble and act as his diseased younger brother, but he never allowed himself to forget that it is indeed a robot. He doesn’t want to forgive himself, but he also is tired of feeling pain and doesn’t know how to cope with it. So his solution is extreme escapism, but also hyper-awareness about his own faults and never-ending state of excruciating guilt.

So yeah, he’s such a fun character to dive deeper into psychology-wise.

Love his serious moments, love his silly moments, love his complaints, love his emotional rants, love that he’s passionate about stuff that he likes, love that he critiques society in the pettiest ways possible, love his giggles, everything.

(He also reminds me of Katsu in a lot of ways so I am biased lol)

Story

Oh I’ve talked about how much I loved Ch6 a lot, so I won’t write another essay (physically stopping myself).

I’ll be brief and just say that I honestly would have loved Idia even without learning his backstory, because he is just that entertaining, but knowing it made me appreciate him on a whole other level. I love how much depth his character has, how nuanced it is and how beautifully his chapter ended. Seeing him getting closure was very satisfying, and I love that it didn’t change his character drastically overnight.

His love towards Ortho is a beautiful thing, ship-wise or not.

So yeah I kinda just blacked out at some point, I think lol I can talk about Idia forever. He is just an extremely enjoyable character to both read and write.

#replies #idia shroud #about characters

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stealingyourbones · 2 years

Note

Hello, first I would like to greatly apologize for any spam of likes I have sent your way because my brain decided to obsess randomly with Dp x Dc crossovers for the past few days. I'm not even into Dc comics, and I only watch Danny Phantom when I randomly it exists and the fandom pulls me back into its clutches until I'm able to finally escape only to be pulled back in a few months later. I write this to you at 1:30 am with a bag of shittily made popcorn with my cat accompanying me because my mind has decided to fall in love with Danny being taken care of by the Bat family and it's mostly you're fault. I hope you're happy. I want to kiss you so bad you have no idea. I've come up with so many scenarios and have the balls to share them with you cause I really like the way you write and since I'm not a writer I have no idea what I'm doing but here I go:

Danny and Dani are basically travelling the world, Danny would call it running from the cops but that doesn't have as nice a ring to it. (Situation can be up to you, bad reaction from parents, was framed, anything for Danny and Dani on the run with Danny having protective older brother vibes)

They end up in Gotham for a few nights to rest easily and its snowing cause I said so and theyre starving at this point. Danny's like "We need to hide and need shelter" and Dani's like "Dude look over there at that creepy mansion :D" And they have no idea that its not only very much inhabited, but a bunch of rich people live there (And the Bat family but who cares about that part)

Danny is obviously on the fence cause 1. He doesn't have a good history with rich people so why their houses and 2. They dont know whats in there what if a bunch of weirdos are staying there but they decide they're cold and need a place to rest so they fly in and luckily land in the kitchen.

The lights are off and they're to focused on finding food to notice two figures standing in the middle of the kitchen just watching them.

Dani pulls out a box of the shittiest cereal you can think that shouldn't be counted as cereal all happy "Danny, they have my favorite cereal!" And poor Danny's horrified, "Have you even ever had cereal before?"

They start rambling and then someone turns on the light its Alfred he was in the middle of boiling midnight tea for him and Tim.

And there's just 2 GLOWING awkward teens FLOATING, one's holding Bruce's 'cereal' clearly not assesing the situation and the other has a horrified expression on their face, and looks like on the verge of passing out.

Tim is way to sleep deprived thinking they're hallucinations and sits down, also on the verge of passing out, while Alfred just keeps boiling his tea.

Danny is sweating trying to figure out how hes gonna get them out if this situation and Danis just, munching on dry crappy cereal.

Albert like the God he is just fucking opens the fridge, looks Dani in the eye and asks "Would you like some milk with that, my lady?" And thats all I got out of me FOR THAT SCENARIO.

The other is I fucking forgot I took 30 mins to write all this I forgot what else I had Im so sleep deprived OH FUCK I REMEMBER IT WAS ABOUT DRUGS

Ok so tw for drugs (weed):

Ok so Danny's a teen he's stupid right, knowing him in the show he'd be the kid to decline drugs but then take a hit when his crush says "i KnEw YoU wEreNt coOl" yknow? Delicious social pressure.

Well he's like pretty much adopted by the Wayne's at this point so he's just chilling on the couch about to light a joint and Jason being the noble man he is snatches it out of Danny's hand like "Nono, bad small child dont do drugs" half joking and smokes it instead.

Danny's now panicking, silently following Jason to make sure he's alright and not dead or reacting badly to it.

"Yeah why wouldn't I be fine?" And the high kicks in.

The thing is is that it was ghost weed. And Jason for once feels completely calm, he doesn't feel a single bit of the pit its silent.

He's crying and Danny's like "Omg are you ok???" Thinking he poisoned his family/lover/whatever the fuck they are.

And Jason's just "This is some real good shit" silently sobbing, not even thinking about where Danny got it or why its doing this he's just happy.

And you can turn this into extreme angst by making him codependent or a comedy by him making high jokes

Ok thats it again I'm so sorry I just really had to tell someone this

Homie you, me, behind the Bat Burger; We shall marry at dawn. Man, it makes me so happy that you enjoy the stuff I write that much I’m really proud that I could bring you that much joy! Be sure to give your kitty some pets for me :).

Oh also, “not a writer”?! You spin a web of lies. This is incredible!! Sure it’s rambly, but that’s because you’re writing in a way that’s unsure of yourself. (It’s also very much so how I write so I feel you homie.) I still feel like my writing is equivalent to a middle schooler's but I do my best to shake that off. I don’t write fics because I’m bad at dialogue, I’m workin on it though! You simply just have to try and believe in yourself. You’ll reread it later and go, “Damn, did I just write that?!” And feel proud of what you accomplished. You absolutely have unique and brilliant ideas so take a shot at writing some stuff! I’m sure you’ll do great! :D

Also bro your: "what was I talking about? oH YEAH DRUGS!" was so unexpected. it made me laugh so hard so thank you for that :)

———

Danny and Dani are fucking floored that this stoic-ass old British man just rolled with seeing the two. Dani's eyes light up as she accepts the milk from the British guy. Snatching the fancy glass milk container, she haphazardly pours the milk into her bowl causing bits of cereal to ricochet the milk out of the bowl and flying absolutely everywhere.

Tim just stands still and stares at the two very much so Not Human entities that are currently in his house. The tired vigilante rummages around in his pocket for his phone and takes a quick photo of the scene in front of him.

Tim double takes glancing between the kitchen and his phone. At first he assumed they were hallucinations because no figures were present in the photograph… the floating bowl of cereal and spoon says otherwise.

#danny phantom #dp x dc #dpxdc #dc comics #writing prompts #bones replies #anon #genuinely dude your writing is fascinating! sorry it took me so long to get to your ask because this is INCREDIBLE

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reclusivebookslug · 9 months

Text

Bella Swan is Autistic: An Analysis

(Disclaimers: I enjoy Twilight in spite of its problematic elements, not because of them or in ignorance of them. There are as many different ways to be autistic as there are autistic people. Many allistic people will relate on some level to some aspects of the autistic experience; this does not make them autistic. This is all just my opinion, based on my experience as a late-diagnosed, low-support-needs autistic woman. I am aware this is not a brand-new original idea.)

I reread Twilight (I think for the first time since getting diagnosed 4 years ago) and I found a bunch of things I relate to Bella about. Below the cut is a list of some of her autism-related character traits with quotes for textual evidence. The links lead to articles explaining how these traits relate to autism. The list is ordered chronologically based on page number of the accompanied quotes. Page numbers are based on the paperback edition with ISBN-13: 9780316015844. A backslash in a quote signifies a paragraph break. I’ll update if I read any of the other books or rewatch the movies and anything new comes up.

Bella has trouble regulating her emotional expressions: she has to put conscious effort into how she presents herself

"I'd always been a bad liar" (p. 4). "For some reason, my temper was hardwired to my tear ducts. I usually cried when I was angry, a humiliating tendency" (p. 25). "I had never been enormously tactful" (p. 31). "'My face is so easy to read -- my mother always calls me her open book'" (p. 50).

Bella is shy and a bit socially awkward: she avoids attention for fear of embarrassment

"Charlie wasn't comfortable with expressing his emotions out loud. I inherited that from him" (p. 7). "Mr. Varner... was the only one who made me stand in front of the class and introduce myself. I stammered, blushed, and tripped over my own boots on the way to my seat" (p. 17). "To my dismay, I found myself the center of attention for the rest of the week" (pp. 68-69).

Bella feels different from other people: she doesn’t know how to connect with others and feels pressure to fit in

"I didn't relate well to people my age. Maybe the truth was that I didn't relate well to people, period. Even my mother, who I was closer to than anyone else on the planet, was never in harmony with me, never on exactly the same page. Sometimes I wondered if I was seeing the same things through my eyes that the rest of the world was seeing through theirs. Maybe there was a glitch in my brain" (pp. 10-11). "I answered honestly, instead of pretending to be normal like everyone else" (p. 47). “'My mind doesn't work right? I'm a freak?' The words bothered me more than they should -- probably because his speculation hit home. I'd always suspected as much, and it embarrassed me to have it confirmed" (p. 181).

Bella has a unique sense of humor: other people don’t get her jokes and she doesn’t get other peoples’ jokes

"'You don't look very tan.' / 'My mother is part albino.' / He studied my face apprehensively, and I sighed. It looked like clouds and a sense of humor didn't mix. A few months of this and I'd forget how to use sarcasm" (p. 16). “Bella was being unintentionally funny” (p. 367).

Bella finds comfort in routine: the change in routine from moving was difficult for her, and she felt better once the new routine became familiar

"I fell into the pattern of the familiar task gladly" (p. 33).

Bella is academically gifted: she finds assignments easier than her peers do, she has already read the books assigned in her English course

"'Were you in an advanced placement program in Phoenix?' / 'Yes'" (p. 47).

Bella enjoys being alone: she is introverted and enjoys solitary activities

"In a lot of ways, living with Charlie was like having my own place, and I found myself reveling in the aloneness instead of being lonely" (p. 54). "I've never minded being alone" (p. 241).

Bella has motor difficulties: she is clumsy, uncoordinated, accident-prone, and bad at sports

"Possibly my crippling clumsiness was seen as endearing rather than pathetic, casting me as a damsel in distress" (p. 55). "My sense of direction was hopeless; I could get lost in much less helpful surroundings" (p. 136).

Bella has special interests: Edward and books

"... no one else was as aware of Edward as I always was. No one else watched him the way I did" (p. 69). "I was sitting in my room, researching vampires. What was wrong with me" (p. 135)? "... they didn't know how preoccupied I could get when surrounded by books; it was something that I preferred to do alone" (p. 156).

Bella is perceived as different by others: a history of social exclusion is hinted at, Edward’s mind-reading doesn’t work on her

"'It's better if we're not friends,' he explained. 'Trust me.' / My eyes narrowed. I'd heard that before” (pp. 74-75). "He enunciated every syllable, as if he were talking to someone mentally handicapped" (p. 83). "'My mom always says I was born thirty-five years old and that I get more middle-aged every year'" (p. 106). ".'.. maybe your mind doesn't work the same way the rest of theirs do. Like your thoughts are on the AM frequency and I'm only getting FM'” (p. 181). "'You're not like anyone I've ever known. ... / ... 'I have a better than average grasp of human nature. People are predictable. But you ... you never do what I expect. You always take me by surprise'" (p. 245).

Bella has sensory differences: she notices and is bothered by things others don’t and aren’t, she engages in sensory-seeking and sensory-avoiding behavior when stressed

"'People can't smell blood,' he contradicted. / 'Well, I can -- that's what makes me sick. It smells like rust ... and salt" (p. 100). "I put in my headphones, hit Play, and turned up the volume until it hurt my ears. I closed my eyes, but the light still intruded, so I added a pillow over the top of my face" (pp. 129-130). "'You're always crabbier when your eyes are black ... I expect it then' ... 'I have a theory about that'" (p. 171). “For three and a half hours I stared at the wall, curled in a ball, rocking” (p. 425).

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mixes-archive · 1 year

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You know what i need?

I NEED könig with an s/o who also got bullied in childhood, maybe not as much as the big guy but still preaty severe bullying

I don't care if it's headcanons or a scenario i just need this concept in my life

I. Am. Begging. Please

"In der Vergangenheit"

It is my responsibility and job to meet my visitors needs, so please, enjoy! I'm also really sorry if I moved away from the prompt a little, so feel free to request this again if you aren't happy or just want more :)

Also huge warning for self doubt and all the things that come with bullying

VERY ANGSTY, BUT ALSO COMFORT

You and König were alike in a lot of ways. Socially awkward, working for the military and severely bullied as children.

But, there was also something...

He talked about his trauma.

You didn't.

Years of dismissal had led you to just bottle it up until you were seconds away from exploding, letting it all out on whoever was unfortunate enough to be nearest to you.

You two were different in that sense.

He's only mentioned his bullying once, but from what you've heard, it was bad. How hadn't his parents noticed the bruises and scars? Or were they just not bothered to care? No, from what he's described, they do care about him. Then again, he tended to romanticize things...

But who would you be to call him a liar?

One time, when he asked about your childhood, you'd claimed it was good, great even. Many friends, loving family, supportive teachers, you name it.

But there was always just one part you left out. König didn't need to know, it didn't concern him, he had enough going on already. Your pain was nothing compared to his.

And so, the bottling continued.

Heavy footsteps crunched against the snow coating the pavement. Luckily, some neighbor had salted the sidewalks a few days ago, just before the snow fell down hard.

Your heavy and erratic breaths painted the air with white clouds. König had told you that as a child, he pretended to smoke a cigarette whenever the temperatures dropped so low, it was a nice moment you shared. God, you couldn't wait to be back in his arms.

Today had just been too much. Too loud, too busy, to fast and too slow at the same time. You just wanted to go home.

Wrapping your coat tighter around your body, you sped up, finally seeing the only house on the street with the lights still on at this ungodly hour. Hopefully, he wasn't still awake and just left the light on as a courtesy.

You searched your bag for the key, quickly growing frustrated at your inability to find it, letting out a loud groan just in time for the door to open to reveal your lover.

His bright smiled dropped at the sight of you, tear stained cheeks, puffy eyes and a less than pleased look. König wrapped you in his arms and pulled you inside.

Your eyes were fixed on the ground, but you could feel him gently removing your coat and untying your shoes. His voice seemed almost distant as he asked if you could just slightly stand up on one foot so he could take them off, patting your quads as a thanks for doing so.

He could tell you weren't quite there.

That terrified you. The thought of someone seeing you at your weakest again...

The tears fell before you could think about it.

You found yourself carried to the couch, thick blanket wrapped around you, a cup of tea in your hand, the steam warming your cheeks still frozen from being outside so long. He sat next to you, gently running his hands up and down your arms. A pleasant silence overtook you both as you slowly started to calm down, but still on edge.

"Are you okay?"

God, how you hated that question. You couldn't keep count of how many times you'd been asked that. They didn't care, just asking to seem like they did. A polite question really, but useless and hurtful in the long run.

Earnest answers were never appreciated in this situation, you'd gotten used to coming up with excuses for watery eyes or a sour face.

But today was the last straw.

"What do you fucking think, Einstein? Do I look okay, do you honestly think that I'm just the slightest bit okay?? Honestly, what the fuck is wrong with you?"

His face dropped even further, frown very visible. Yet, he didn't look angry. He never did.

"Look I- I don't know what's going on, but do not take this out on me. I love you, you know that, but screaming will get you nowhere. I'd know."

The words didn't quite register in your mind, you tried your best to wiggle out of his grasp, but the more you struggled, the tighter he held on. His volume rose the more he spoke.

"Running away won't fix this, Schatz. We need to talk this out this time."

"Let go of me."

"No, this happened before and I gave up then, but not now."

"Please."

Uncontrollable sobs left you as he sank you further into a hug, ignoring your punches and clawing.

It reminded you, no- it sent you back to the moment that started it all. Started your suffering. The katalyst, and you were trapped in that memories grasp.

"Please! I- I promise I didn't tell them anything! I c- couldn't do that please leave me alone please!"

"Oh." Königs voice audibly trembled, his grip loosening as you stopped struggling and let your body sink into him. He slowly raised his arms to rub soothing circles intk your back.

"You should've told me, Dirndl." you clung to his shirt as your sobbing slowly stopped.

"I know, it's just that- God I don't know actually... I'm sorry"

"Nein, shhh... Du musst dich für nichts entschuldigen, du hattest bestimmt deine Gründe."¹

He stood up with you, carrying the sad heap you were to the bedroom, gently laying you down on the bed. "Do you want to talk about it? Oh, you're still really cold, maybe over a bath?"

"That sounds... Nice, thank you, König..."

"Kein Problem, Maus.² Now, what are their names?"

Translation

¹"No, shhhh... You don't have to apologize, you must've had your reasons."

²"No problem, mouse"

#könig x reader #call of duty x reader #konig x reader #cod x reader #call of duty #könig call of duty

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