#i think i know who i wanna be? but i might already be that person and not even know it

[livelaughlovesubs]

Nini I want to fuck a demon boy so bad I can't. I'm so sleep deprived and this is the only thing on my mind. The idea of this powerful demon who's not used to being challenged, just ending up ass up face down on the floor, bed WHEREVER. It's not important. Ending up like that is just peak. Also I like to think they'd have sensitive tails. So. Like. I totally.

Wanna make them fuck themselves with their own tail. I think that'd be great. I think it would be awesome.

I want them to get so flustered at the idea of doing it, but do it anyway just coz I told them to. I can almost imagine them finding their own prostate with their tail, and really they can't decide which sensation to focus on. Feeling themselves clench around their own tail, or the way the slightly pointed end slams into their prostate. And bonus points if they cum and you overstim them by grabbing their tail and fucking them so much harder than they could themselves. Hooray, now they've got

your hand around their already much too sensitive tail

said sensitive tail is being slammed into their ass

it's gotta feel so good, they'd probably be so tight around themselves

your hand is gonna slip a few times, which is gonna end up in stroking their tail, which has got to feel like heaven for them

not to forget that you're thrusting their tails directly onto their prostate without letting them breathe

I just. I don't know. I think they'd look so pretty, flushed and begging to stop, even though it's them that keeps weakly trying to thrust their tail back into themselves. Also, they'd look so pathetic, sobbing from the overstimulation. I'm a sucker for tears trailing down their faces, eyes red and a little puffy. It'd almost make you wanna be nice to them. Almost.

But yknow, a girl's gotta do what a girl's gotta do. And sometimes what a girl's gotta do is fuck a demon stupid with their own tail. (I don't have the same way with words as some people, but like do you see the vision)

~a sleep deprived,🧁anon

You are so smart holy shit. You don’t give yourself enough credit. Fucking a demon with their own tail? Why didn’t I think of something as great as this??! Lemme write down my thoughts for a sec- (btw I thought you are like, very religious?)

Dom!reader x sub!character

You had a long day behind you, and there was nothing sweeter than the thought of finally getting some sleep. All you wanted was to have a good rest, but to your demise you woke up in the middle of the night with something heavy on top of you. “Ops, I didn’t mean to wake you up. Oh well this will do too.” What the hell? It was a fucking person?? First thing you did was push him off of you and turning on the lights, then you thought this was some kind of weird joke. He had two horns growing out of his forehead, as well as a super long tail with a heart shaped tip. Not to mention the pink, glowing tattoo on his pelvis. When he opened his mouth again, you thought you didn’t hear right. “I’m an incubus, pleasant to meet you~ now let me feast on you, pretty please?”

An incubus, so, in other words a demon. What in the- never mind. He said he wanted to feast on you? Heck no, he woke you up in the middle of the night and is expecting you to have the energy to fuck him? As soon as he got up to try make a move on you, you flipped him over and tangled your hand in his hair, then pressed his face into your pillow. “If you are that desperate do it yourself.” Of course that little slut was into that.

He reached for his dick, but you slapped his hand away and instead grabbed his tail. “MhMngh- aaAAHhnn~!” A surprised yet blissful moan escaped him, face all red as lust fills their already sinful body. Anticipation swelling inside them at the thought of what you might do with them. That’s when they felt their own tail poking against their butt… wait wha? In the mean time you stroked it gently while whispering, “I want to watch you fuck yourself, who knows, I might reward you afterwards.” Suddenly all their previous confidence vanished as embarrassment took over. With their own tail..?? How did you even get that idea! Not even something as perverted as them had such outrageous ideas..!

In the end they could only obey without protesting, trusting their already super sensitive tail into their tight, wet hole. Each time they accidentally hit their prostate, they’d yelp and whimpers. Pretty tears are already rolling down their even prettier faces. Eyes half lidded as they whine, “mhm! Ah-ahhHh.. nghHnn~!!” All while their poor, useless dick is twitching around on its own, making a mess everywhere <3

Gojo, Sukuna, Dazai, Fyodor, Nikolai, jouno, Scaramouch, Kaeya, lyney, Ayato, Aventurine, Sampo, Jing Yuan (?), Douma - your favourites

#sub character #sub!character #dom reader #dom!reader #sub bsd #sub bungou stray dogs #sub jjk #sub jujutsu kaisen #sub demon slayer #sub kny #sub genshin impact #sub genshin #sub hsr #sub honkai star rail #sub gojo smut #sub gojo satoru #sub gojo #sub dazai osamu #sub douma #sub dazai #sub aventurine #sub fyodor #sub ayato #sub lyney #sub kaeya #sub Sampo #sub sukuna #sub jing yuan #sub scaramouche #sub wanderer

[thegoldencontracts]

The Oddity Of Kindness

Jade finds you quite amusing, really. He can't help but wish to catch you off-guard. And yet, his plans are thrown off by your dastardly schemes of- genuine kindness?

Notes: NGL Jade would actually make a really good Kaguya from love is war but at the same time I like it better when there is no shirogane... Just him doing that stuff and some random person who's incredibly nice (I low-key wanna make this fic a series guys HELP-)

Jade always found you to be quite the peculiar individual. You never displayed the fear characteristically shown around him. Oblivious, perhaps?

Your peculiarity just made you all the more fascinating. Jade couldn't help but wonder how you'd react upon finding out his true nature.

He'd lamented this to Floyd. Floyd had just said he was being "lame". How foolish. Jade was most certainly not being lame, in fact, he was being incredibly cunning in his schemes to catch you off-guard. He was intelligent, analyzing your weaknesses with am effortless prowess rarely seen, and he had a flawless plan.

Really, it would be so amusing to toy with you a tad. After all, what could you possibly do against him?

"You're blushing, Jade," Azul had commented idly as Jade left to meet you at the botanical gardens, where you went every Saturday morning to pick strawberries. Somehow, Trey let you pick them without charging anything like he had with Jade. You must've been a genius of wit to make that happen.

"Perhaps you require an eye-exam, Azul," Jade said with a laugh. Honestly, what sort of lovesick fool did Azul think he was? Blushing like some schoolgirl meeting their crush! "Your glasses clearly aren't high enough in power. Would you like me to schedule an appointment for you?"

Azul merely rolled his eyes.

"You would do well to get yourself an eye exam," he said, waving Jade off with a shoo. Whatever. Azul simply failed to comprehend Jade's plan. Really, most people would. It was so dastardly Jade couldn't help but feel a bit bad at his own cold-hearted nature.

He was going to fluster you. That was the end goal. He'd already laid out a step-by-step process, along with backup-plans for your every counter.

The first step was to enter the greenhouse. He'd just done that. The second was to walk over to where you were. Closer, closer, taking in the slight scent of petrichor, the fresh, ruby-red strawberries that surrounded you, until...

"Ah, Jade!" You jumped up at the sight of him, rubbing the back of your neck sheepishly upon facing him. "Sorry. Didn't see you there."

He smiled, making sure to keep his mouth closed. It made him seem polite, but slightly unnerving due to the way the smile didn't reach his eyes.

Phase one of his plan - to catch you off-guard and leave you at a disadvantage - was a success. It was time for phase two.

"Don't worry," he said. "I completely understand. Regardless, I'm rather curious as to what you're doing. You show up at the garden rather often at this exact time, you see."

He'd just combined steps three and four into one. He'd both unnerved you a bit more by implying that he'd observed your habits and made for a smooth transition to bringing up why he came to the botanical gardens.

"Oh, I'm just here to pick some strawberries for Trey!" So you picked those as a favor to him. That explained why Trey never attempted to seek payment. "He's pretty swamped in Heartslabyul most days, so I like to deliver the strawberries to him."

So you were kind, yes, but that was nothing but old news. More importantly, why weren't you unnerved by the fact that Jade seemed to know you well?

"What about you?" You asked. "I can't name a time, but I know you come here pretty often too. Mind sharing why?"

So, it'd finally come to this. Jade could already picture the sight of you caught off-guard. It would be so tantalizing- amusing. It would be amusing. Not tantalizing, and certainly not something to savor.

"You truly wish to know? It might frighten you," he said, with that typical, unnerving grin of his. But you didn't even bat an eye. How peculiar.

"Yeah, sure!" You said.

His plan was coming to an amusing fruition. Jade knew his eyes were sparkling as he started his ramble.

"I have a love for mushrooms," he said. "The beautiful, often poisonous things. I come here to grow them. I cultivate them ad best as I can, you know. Some fungi can't be grown here. Those tend to be more poisonous. The fun ones. And then, after a long time, the mushrooms are ready for cultivation. The ones that seem edible get fed to others. And yet, they must complain. I still remember the ghost chef who kept insisting it was rude to feed others mushrooms that freeze the tomgue. How odd, no? It was merely a bit of fun."

Silence ensued, with you keeping your hand clasped firmly over your mouth. Jade grinned. He'd done it. To think, you were so easily frightened. How amusing.

But then, you burst into laughter.

"What seems to be the matter?" He said. This wasn't what he expected to happen. Most people were dying to run away, yet paralyzed in fear.

"I- hah, sorry," you said, wheezing in attempts to catch your breath. "You're just so cute when you talk about your mushrooms. And then you were looking at me at the end like you were expecting something, and I just couldn't help it!"

At his reaction, you seemed to come to a realization.

"Did you actually think that'd scare me?" Here it was. You'd show your less kind side to mock him.

But then, your expression seemed to somber for a bit, before you puffed yourself up in an act of resoluteness.

"All those people who tell you it's weird are wrong!" You said, seeming awfully indignant. "You're cute when you get all excited and your eyes sparkle, a-and I loved learning more about your cultivation process. The information's a bonus, not something to put up with!"

You thought he was- cute? T-That wasn't true at all! Jade wasn't cute, he was a predator, and he was cold and cunning in a way that had brought fear upon others! Even as a child, he'd been feared by the high-profile clients Father had him hunt.

So how could you of all people think he was cute? This was utterly absurd. No one thought he was cute, especially not when he talked about mushrooms!

His mouth went dry. His face felt so hot it felt like it would combust any second. What was he to do? He'd never thought this would happen!

"You okay, Jade? Your face is really red," you said. Somehow, you seemed nothing but concerned. There wasn't an ounce of malice in your eyes, and he didn't understand that. Why? Weren't you going to attempt to take advantage of this rare moment of weakness? To garner a favor?

"I- must leave," he said, swallowing rapidly in hopes of overcoming the knot that seemed to form in his throat. "Until next time. This was a pleasure."

"Yeah, I was really nice getting to know you better!" You said. "And don't feel bad about how red your face is! I think it's super cute! But, since it probably means you're sick, rest up, okay?"

What sort of dastardly trick was this? You couldn't possibly be so well-intentioned. So caring, so concerned, over him? It was incomprehensible.

A retreat. He had to stage a retreat. This was too much.

"Hey, Jade!" Said Floyd, right as Jade had strained the illusion of safety. "You're so red right now? 'Rest up, okay'?"

Floyd had- heard everything?

"You'd beat be quiet, dear brother," he said. His voice cracked. Jade's voice never cracked! That simply wasn't something that happened.

"No, no, Floyd is right," said none other than Azul, approaching Jade from the other direction. He was trapped. "What happened to you? Perhaps your little crush managed to turn the tables on you?"

There was nothing to speculate for either of them. They'd seen it all go down. But Jade had to put an end to this somehow.

"It would be a shame if I were to tell everyone about both of your more embarrassing moments, now wouldn't it?" That wasn't nearly as subtle as Jade would've liked. But it did the trick, and got both Azul and Floyd to quit revelling in his suffering.

"Why must you be this way?"

"Boo. Killjoy."

Jade couldn't help but let out a small laugh at their comments as he pulled himself together.

"Regardless, the Prefect truly is a fascinating character," he said. You really were quite the odd one, weren't you?

Change of plans. He didn't want to fluster you anymore. No.

Now, he was going to woo you.

#jade leech #twst jade #twisted wonderland #twst #jade leech x reader #jade leech x you #jade x you #jade #jade x reader #disney twisted wonderland #twst fanfic #ik flustered jade isn't all that popular (at least not from what I've sen T_T) #But PLEASE YOU HAVE TO SEE THE VISION PLEAS EPLEASE #Istg im gonna give in to the intrusive thoughts and make this a series #just to make more flustered jade #because I've seen basically nothing

[mrwavellswaps]

If you could produce a big Hollywood film about tf, what would it be about and who would it star?

First of all I just wanna say this is an incredible question and I apologize for not answering it sooner! It’s really got me thinking so I’m not gonna waste any time and I’m just gonna straight into it!

Now this is an idea I could get really deep into but for my sake I’m gonna try not to go into ridiculous detail here but we’ll see. That said, if you all like this idea I might either write up a fuller concept for this hypothetical movie with a lot more detail or I might just write a story based around it.

That said, I think our main character would be a man in his late 60’s or early 70’s played by Jeff Bridges. I’m not going to come up with names for the characters here so for now I’ll just refer to them by the names of the actors playing them.

Jeff would be a man who’s spent all of his life being fascinated by the human body. Specifically by just how much it can vary from person to person. That despite all of us being made up of all the same essential parts, we can still look vastly different from one another. From very noticeable differences like height, skin tone and hair colour to much smaller things such as having a cleft chin or being double jointed. All of it piqued his interest.

That said Jeff would have ended up becoming a semi-famous biologist and scientist known for his many discoveries in the former field and his dozens of studies surrounding both the inner and outer workings of humans and our DNA.

Jeff now finds himself in the latter half of his life. His body past its prime even if he still gets told how good he looks by many. Despite this his passion burns as bright as ever, if not brighter. For many many years now his curiosity of human bodies and many differences between them had risen to such a degree that he’d wished he could experience those differences. To have the body of another human and actually feel what it’s like to be someone else. An idea that only grew more enticing as he aged.

Of course this had lead him to looking into plenty of studies about brain transplants and even performing a few on animals himself to see if such a thing could be possible. Yet it never works. The brain is far too complex of an organ to just be transferred from one body to another as if it were a kidney. He deduced it could be possible some day but certainly not in his lifetime.

And that’s what soon leads to the creation of Jeff’s most secretive project. A special machine of sorts that had taken him well over a decade to produce. He thought that if the brain couldn’t be transferred to a different body then the only way to experience a new body would be to alter the body he already has on a DNA level. A feat he wasn’t sure was even possible. But then again most things in the world were considered impossible… until they weren’t.

Jeff of course succeeds in perfecting his invention. A machine that when hooked up to two people can copy and transfer their DNA into one another. But it wasn’t just their DNA. This wonder of technology was capable of transforming these two subjects into perfect copies of one another. Effectively swapping them! He’d tested it on plenty of animals and the final test had been on a wealthy couple he’d proposed the idea to. A husband and wife who wanted their lives to be spiced up a little so they agreed to the swap, not knowing they’d be the first human subjects.

I’m picturing the Husband being played by Gerard Butler and the Wife being played by Lana Parrilla.

Thankfully it works and Jeff watches in wonder and Gerard transforms into Lana and Lana transforms into Gerard. And after some quick check ups to make sure they hadn’t experienced any side effects, Jeff escorted them to a room where they could explore their new bodies with a little more privacy. And explore they did as before long Jeff starts to hear moans coming from the room shortly followed by the wet sound of balls smacking.

After collecting as much data and research on this couple as he could, Jeff would of course allow them to use the machine again and return to normal once they’d decided to do so. But seeing his creation in work like that would only ignite an even deeper desire to experience it himself. So that’s what he sets out to do.

His first personal subject would be the personal trainer Jeff had hired years ago in an attempt to get into but never stuck to it. Said personal trainer would still be in amazing shape of course and Jeff had always wondered what having all that muscle would feel like. And so Jeff would approach the PT with a very generous offer of money. Jeff would have approached many men before this but his old PT would be the first to accept much to his delight.

I’m picturing this Personal Trainer being played by Alan Ritchson.

Jeff would go on to hook both himself and Alan up to the machine before activating it and beginning the process. He knew sort of what to expect after studying Gerard and Lana yet the experience would still be out of this world. An odd mix of pain, pleasure and discomfort flooding his being as his own DNA was striped away and replaced by Alan’s. His body growing younger and larger as Alan’s superior mass was transferred to him in the form of burgeoning muscles and increasing height. Every aspect of his body morphing down the last detail until he’d transformed into a perfect replica of Alan, his buff former PT. Meanwhile looking over to see Alan had now become well… Jeff!

After this there would be an entire scene dedicated to Jeff exploring every inch of Alan’s body. All the while taking mental notes on any and all subtle differences he noticed in how this body felt and moved compared to his original. Though at the same time he can’t help getting lost in the wonder and erotic nature of it all as he flexes and gropes his new muscle with joy.

As this happens Alan would likely be doing the same in exploring Jeff’s older and more average body with plenty of curiosity and a little nervousness.

Jeff decides he wants to know what it would feel like to walk out in the world in another man’s shoes and proposes Alan do the same. And so the two put on some fitting clothes and head put. Exploring how the world views them now that they’ve become a whole new person and seeing how things differ.

Naturally however Jeff eventually checks out his new equipment properly. Perhaps while out and about he just can’t take it anymore and ends up masturbating in one of the stalls in a public restroom. Or maybe he’s the first to arrive back and decides to have a little strip. Either way he can’t help loving the size of Alan’s thicker cock. All the while telling himself it’s for research purposes to know how different men experience pleasure and how different cocks feel. Which is at least half true.

Sooner or later after lots of notes had been taken however, Jeff eventually decides to change them back to normal as much as he really didn’t want to deep down. Having to admit it was strange being back to his ordinary self after experiencing Alan’s body.

Jeff would begin further work on his secret study. Writing down every detail of the experiment. But as he does it only makes him crave testing out again. Quickly justifying it as him needing multiple tests to compare. Which again, is at least half true.

And so Jeff sets out to find more people willing to undergo a temporary swap with him. He aims to find men of all different sizes and backgrounds so he can get as much variety as possible. He wanted to switch with men that were fatter than him, men that were a different race to him, men who’d lived doing blue collar work, men who were similar to him to see just how far those similarities extended. And even though he preferred to remain a man, he still wanted to switch with a woman at least once just so he could have some personal notes on what becoming the opposite gender felt like besides what that married couple had told him.

After this there would be a multitude of scenes where Jeff manages to convince others to go through with these experiments with him. And subsequently following scenes of him exploring each new body he inhabits and making notes not only on how they feel but also how he’s treated by the world if he goes out in public wearing whatever new form he has. Discovering what it’s like to deal not only with other people’s bodies but things such as their cravings and addictions. The way their eyes perceive the world. The way their taste buds react to different foods and such.

I’m not sure how much time would be spent on these scenes as there would definitely be some repetition. Perhaps some have more screen time than others until it becomes more of a montage of sorts while also showing Jeff’s thoughts and feelings throughout the process.

A few examples of actors I’d maybe like to see Jeff cycle through would be: Idris Elba, Manuel Garcia-Rulfo, Oliver Richter, Daniel Dae Kim, Jeffery Dean Morgan and more! I know some of these are big name actors that would be hella expensive to have in a movie all together but hey it’s a dream casting.

On top of all this I can see Jeff going back to Alan a few times as well. Perhaps having really enjoyed and connected with Alan’s body the first time around and longing to keep going back to it.

As time went on Jeff managed to compile more and more notes, having made research on the human body and the way we perceive things as individuals to a level never before seen. Now having gained a deeper understanding of the working of different people the likes of which nobody has ever come close to. Truly groundbreaking stuff. And the more he thought about it, the more he realized this technology could be used to help people! For example those with gender dysphoria could perhaps be helped if the machine was modified specifically for changing things like biological sex or simply just having them go through the switching process with someone else. There were so many possibilities on the cusp of his invention.

As for where the film would go from here I’m honestly not sure. There’s a few different directions though.

Perhaps Jeff could simply unveil his new invention to the world via some kind of show that’s broadcast to the world. Shocking everyone around the globe. Then going forward to have his machine studied to be duplicated and naturally becoming one of the richest men alive thanks to his creation. Ushering in an entire new age of humanity where people now have the power to alter and swap their bodies in ways that would’ve been incomprehensible before. In the process Jeff might end up getting himself a new permanent vessel. Going back to Alan for good this time perhaps or maybe someone else he finds suitable.

In this version I can see the film ending with Jeff sitting in whatever lavish new office he has, wearing his new body with pride and satisfaction knowing that he unraveled so many of the questions and mysteries that’d plagued him his whole life. All the while as he leans back in his chair, running his hands down his body perhaps, we see small scenes from around the world of how the device is being put to use by humanity. Some being good as they show it being used to swap people as rewards or perhaps being used as punishments in the criminal justice system among other thing. However it also shows all the evil it’s being used for such as people being kidnapped and forced into the machines so that their bodies can be stolen. The most common victims of this being police officers and wealthy folk. But by the end it cuts back to Jeff sitting in pure bliss as the camera zooms to him. Just happy knowing that his life goals had been fulfilled with a cheerful yet slightly ominous tone due to not knowing what this new future will bring. Roll credits.

But of course there’s other ways it could end such as there being a bigger conflict. Say if for example, before he unveils his device to the world, Jeff wants to secure himself a new body. For simplicity sake we’ll just say he chooses Alan again like in the previous ending. He proposes this idea to Alan saying that he would agree to share the credit and fortune with Alan once he unveils his device but Alan refuses, not willing to permanently give up his body that he’d worked so hard for. But Jeff doesn’t accept this. And so one thing leads to another and Jeff ends up kidnapping Alan before dragging the hunky man back to his place and setting up the machine.

Before Jeff can finish setting up however, Alan wakes up sooner than expected and immediately tries to escape. He’s been strapped down but Jeff isn’t sure the restraints will hold so he rushes to finish setting everything up and prepares to swap. But just before he can Alan breaks free. Alan attacks Jeff in a rage and pins the older man down, threatening to kill him even. But before he has a chance to prove that threat, Alan feels a strong prick on his ass. He looks back in horror to see Jeff had managed to stick him with another anesthetic. He starts to panic, not knowing whether to try and run or attack Jeff. But it doesn’t matter as his body grows weak and soon enough he falls unconscious yet again. Jeff letting out a sigh of relief before a sinister smile appears on his face.

The movie would then cut to a few months later where we see ‘Alan’ sat in a coffee shop writing something down in a book. We the audience can’t see this book at first until perhaps a waiter/waitress comes over and ends up asking what he’s writing out of curiosity. ‘Alan’ reveals that he’s writing a book all about the differences in human bodies at which point revealing that this truly is Jeff wearing Alan’s body. Then perhaps after another scene showing whatever fate befell the original Alan, the movie would end with Jeff on the cusp of revealing his invention to the globe.

So there you have it! That’s my idea for a movie based around TF! I honestly got wayyyyyy more invested in this than I expected to but that certainly isn’t a bad thing. I had a ton of fun coming up with this and imagining how it would look on the big screen. Of course there are a lot of details I probably left out but I didn’t want to make this ridiculously long. That said, if this gets a lot of positive attention I might write a fuller, more in depth version or a story based around this as I said before.

Thank you for the great question! And apologies again for taking so long to answer it! Really some great stuff here!

#male body swap #male body theft #identity theft #male transformation #jock #permanent #technology #male muscle growth #muscle transfer #muscle theft #musclegrowth #old to hunk #female to male #male to female #female to male tf #male to female tf #racial change #racial transformation #race change #weight gain

[iamleesi]

THE HUNTERS & THE SOLDIER

Pairing: Avenger! Bucky Barnes x OC! Avenger Reader

Summary: You finally find some answers

Warning: Mention of stalking, mention of attempted SA, obsessed behavior (none of it is towards reader), mention of weed and substances and I probably forgot something but this is pretty much it -> 18+ !!

Other: English isn’t my first language. Also I’m gonna add more Bucky x You in the next chapter, I promise.

-> Masterlist

-> Part six ; Part eight

-> Lovely, sweet father (07)

“Yes?”

As William Barlow opened the door, a pungent mix of weed and other substances greeted you and Dean but both of you maintained a composed manor. You had successfully - Sam did, to be specific - tracked down Adam’s brother, William, in hope to discover any leads regarding Adam’s disappearance.

“I’m agent Downey and this is agent Olsen, we’re from the FBI. Mind if we ask a few questions?” Dean said, flashing his new fake badge.

“Sure, man, come in.” William replied, stepping aside to allow you both inside his house. “I didn’t expect the FBI to care about my brother’s disappearance. Lately have gone missing a lot of people.” He said, leading the way to the living room where he casually took a sit on the couch. “Unless you’re here for that Cassandra too.”

Sharing a glance with Dean, you replied. “Both. We suspect the cases may be related.”

“What do y’all wanna know?” William asked, lighting a cigarette. Despite his brother’s situation, he seemed remarkably unfazed.

“Let’s start with Cassandra and Adam.” You began. “Why did they break up?”

William shrugged. “My brother mentioned she was becoming distant, probably because of her father. They started arguing daily.”

“Her father? What about him?” You kept asking, glancing over at Dean who was taking his time looking around, probably searching for something since it was Adam’s house too.

William pinched the bridge of his nose. “Her father was an asshole, man.” He scoffed. “God knows how many times Cassandra started to come here at night because that douche bag treated her like garbage. I don’t know much of it, me and her weren’t close, but I remember listening to a conversation she was having with my brother where she was quite hysterical.”

“Must run in the family.” Dean mumbled, but you sent him a deadly glare.

Ignoring Dean’s comment, you pressed on. “What were they saying?”

“She was going off about her father’s behavior, you know… a cheater stays a cheater?” William started to explain, gesturing with his hands. “She found some texts on her father’s phone with guess who? Her biological mother.”

You were surprised to hear that. “Her biological mother? What were the texts about?”

He leaned back, propping his feet on the coffee table. “Nothing too intimate, as far as I know, what really set her off wasn’t that he was talking with her, not really. It was that her biological mother was asking about her other daughter and not her.”

You frowned. “So… Mr Sawyer had another daughter while he was away all those years?”

“No.” William shook his head. “Cassandra’s biological mother did. She had a child with someone else, and apparently Mr Sawyer knew that all along. Cassandra always knew she wasn’t Mrs Miller’s biological daughter and had been wondering about her birth mother for as long as I can remember. I suppose finding out that the person she had been searching for didn’t care about her but was interested in this mysterious other daughter took a toll on her.”

“Is this Adam’s phone?” Dean interrupted, holding up the device.

“Yeah.” William confirmed.

“Can I take this with me? We want to take a look at it.” Dean requested.

“I already went through it and I didn’t find anything… but yes. You can have it.” William replied, offering half a smile.

“What can you tell us about Adam? Can you think of anyone who might have wanted to harm him?” You asked.

“Pretty much everyone in the State.” He scoffed. “Adam is always been a troublemaker. But I think…” He hesitated for a moment before deciding to speak his mind. “He had this friend, Malcom. They met at a bar and hit it off, until Malcom started to develop an obsession with Cassandra.”

“Malcom who?” Dean inquired.

“Malcom Donovan, I think.” William replied. “This guy turned out to be one of those idiots who can’t take no for an answer. He started stalking Cassandra everywhere, leaving notes on her car, letters on her doorstep, bombarding her with texts and calls. Adam stepped in when Malcom tried to assault Cassandra at a party once, so that same night he payed Malcom a visit and… it didn’t end well. He didn’t kill him, but he was close to.”

“Where’s Malcom now?” You asked.

“I haven’t seen him since. He was new in town, didn’t have any family or friends around - and it doesn’t surprise me. Adam was probably the only friend he had, but it didn’t last long for obvious reasons.” William explained, rising from the couch to point out a picture on the wall. “This is Malcom.” It depicted a group of about seventeen people with Malcom standing awkwardly in the corner.

Dean approached to snap a photo of the picture with his phone. “Thanks.” He said, still studying the image. “Do you know where he lives?”

“Yeah, I’ll write it down for you.” William nodded, reaching for a piece of paper and a pen.

“Also… that patient Cassandra was treating before she disappeared.” You turned around to look at William. “Did anyone had an idea of who he was?”

“The one barely alive? No.” He shook his head. “But Cassandra didn’t seem to give up. He wanted him to live, and she got mad at anyone who tried to snatch the guy from her. Is it true he had… you know… pointy teeth?”

“No.” Both you and Dean said at the same time. Nobody could know it, or it would have caused general panic.

“Alright. For a second I thought the Avengers had to step in, wouldn’t want another alien invasion or something.” William said half joking, giving the piece of paper with an address on it to you.

“Thank you.” You kindly said, as he escorted you both towards the door.

“Anytime.” He said. “Please find my brother.”

“We’ll do our best, William. Take care.” With that, you and Dean walked out. At least it didn’t go badly as you had expected, considering until now all you’ve had were dead ends.

* * * *

“I was thinking we could have burgers tonight.” Dean suggested, yawing as he scrolled through his phone. “And fries. And maybe even a milkshake or something.”

You and Dean had gotten home a half an hour ago, and Sam and Bucky weren’t home yet. The two went to investigate on Cassandra’s father, and it was taking longer that expected so hopefully they had found something.

“Again? We have those everyday, Dean.” You signed, half watching a crappy movie on tv. “We could have pizza.” You suggested.

“You always want pizza.” He pointed out, as if he was better than you.

“Can’t blame me.” You shrugged. “It’s great, especially the Italian one. Those people created the best thing that could ever exist.”

“Fair.” He nodded. “Knowing Sam and Bucky they’re probably going to want some veggies and shit, to stay healthy and bullshit like that. Can’t stand that.” He dramatically sighed, mocking the two of them. “We only live once, don’t we?”

“Normal people do.” You pointed out. “Didn’t you say both you and Sam got resurrected once?”

“Once, twice. Lost count.” He waved it off.

“So you can like… die whenever and then someone drags you back? Is there an afterlife?” You asked.

“Not really and most definitely to the last question.” He confirmed. “Also it helps having an angel that watches my back…. wherever that asshole may be.”

“An angel?!” You exclaimed. “Like… those dudes with white wings and the yellow thing above their head?”

He huffed. “Absolutely not. I swear sometimes they’re worse than demons. ‘I’m the angel of the Lord’, and then it’s the worst being I’ve ever met.” He scoffed. “Hey, talking about angels, have I ever told you about that time I made Castiel watch a por-”

“We have some informations about Michael Sawyer.” Sam interrupted your lazy conversation, storming inside followed by Bucky, clutching some files. He settled on the armchair he now claimed as his, while Bucky took a seat next to you - as per usual.

“And we have some informations about Adam. Wanna play rock, paper, scissors on who starts first?” Dean raised a brow, but Sam glared at him. “Sorry, go on.”

“After his comeback in 2013, he started working as a personal doctor at an elderly home until he got fired two weeks before Cassandra disappeared. We visited the elderly home in question and discovered that he, and I quote, insisted on caring for his patients alone, and more often than not, those patients died mysteriously. Those who didn’t, disappeared.” Sam explained.

“And the police did nothing?” Dean frowned.

“The police was barely involved.” Bucky chimed in. “He specifically looked for people whose family didn’t care about their well being, essentially. So when the patients disappeared, all they did was file a missing report and that’s it. Looks like Hydra’s profile to me.”

“They also gave us the names of the families of those people.” Sam said, pointing to the files he had previously placed on the coffee table. “We can go ask them some questions tomorrow.”

“What about Sawyer?” You asked. “Anything else? Because this is incredibly suspicious and it does align with what Hydra’s doing, but we don’t have anything concrete that says he’s personally linked to it. We need proofs.”

“You’re right.” He sighed. “All we found about him is a picture in his old office, at least. I can try to contact Fury again hoping he picks up his phone since he’s not answering any calls and see if he can find him.” Bucky said, leaning back on the couch.

Sam nodded at what he said, rummaging in his back to find the picture. “Here.” He said, passing it to you. “The guy in the back, with a pink shirt on.”

Your eyes landed to the man, and you froze on the spot. It was him, inevitably him, the one who not only had links to Hydra, but the one who started the experiments. The one who idealized the Wendigo Project.

“There’s no need to call Fury.” You said. “I know him.”

Bucky’s head snapped in your direction, as did Sam’s and Dean’s, expecting you to elaborate further.

You licked your lips before explaining yourself. “I’ve crossed paths with him many times at the facility, though I never knew his full name. People simply referred to him as Mike. He frequented Mrs White’s office often, discussing methods on how they could control the Wendigo - the only pureblood they had ever since before I was born. He convinced Mrs White to stop tensing on animals and start doings experiments on humans because he thought that would have been more effective. Initially she refused, fearing that SHIELD might find their location if they started to kidnap human beings but eventually he persuaded her. His experiments began a few years before my birth and persisted after. It was when Sawyer killed the creature that he proposed using me as their final attempt to create a complying Wendigo. These creatures are restless, they can be killed exclusively with fire, and they’re neearly as strong as a Super Soldier… essentially the perfect weapon.”

“In the end, his plan succeeded. With my blood he continued his experiments, and then we discovered my ability do control them… you know the rest. I became a tool to lead them into committing atrocities, I even did so myself sometimes.”

You managed to say that without your voice faltering a bit, perhaps it was because you’d sooner die rather than expose your vulnerabilities.

“Who’s Mrs White?” Bucky asked.

“The woman at the head of the facility.” You explained.

“Do you have any news from her or from Sawyer since you were rescued?” Sam inquired, still processing everything you just said.

“No.” You shook your head. “But Mrs White’s name wasn’t on the list of the people SHIELD killed or rescued, and I don’t remember a Sawyer either so presumably they’re still alive. I mean, we know Sawyer was alive for sure in the last ten years.” You sighed.

“And that he probably kept making these experiments trying to create another you in these ten years.” Dean said, scratching his forehead. “One being his daughter.”

“So now we believe for sure the thing locked in Mrs Miller’s house is Cassandra?” Sam raised his eyebrows, looking at each person in the room.

“Maybe she discovered what her lovely, sweet father was up to and he took matters into his own hands.” Bucky suggested with a shrug. “Wouldn’t be too crazy considering what we’re dealing with.”

“And perhaps Mrs Miller found out too, leading to her current deteriorated mental state.” Dean added. “But what about Adam? How many are the chances that the guy just disappeared and it has nothing do to with this case?”

“Maybe he knew something. Since he was Cassandra’s only reliable confidant, she might have shared some details and Sawyer silenced him too.” You proposed, putting on the table the possibility.

“Or maybe he became food.” Bucky interjected, causing all heads to turn in his direction. “What? We saw Mrs Miller cutting someone into pieces. It was a male, could be him.”

“I think we have to go back there when she’s isn’t in the house and take a proper look.” Sam asserted, and his brother threw him a pillow.

“Go yourself, I have no intention of seeing that place again. You with me?” Dean looked in your direction.

“Absolutely. Fuck that.”

“This is not very professional of either of you.” Bucky remarked.

“Fuck professionalism, we’re doing things my way.” Dean declared, rising from his seat to retrieve his trusty green bag. “We still know nothing about the guy Cassandra found. You and me, we are going on a little illegal adventure.”

“No, Dean, Fury said not to do illeg-” Sam was cut off by you.

“I’m in, what are we talking about?” Your curiosity sparked, as you noticed Dean holding a shovel.

“How are your digging skills? Because I’m taking you to the cemetery.” He winked.

#bucky barnes #bucky x oc #bucky x reader #bucky x you #dean winchester #james bucky barnes #sam winchester #supernatural #bucky bar ws #james buchanan barnes #marvel #mcu #bucky fanfic #james bucky buchanan barnes #bucky x female reader #bucky x y/n #winter soldier #bucky barnes x yn #bucky barnes x you #bucky barnes x oc #bucky barnes x reader #bucky barnes x female reader #bucky barnes x y/n #bucky barnes x original female character #bucky winter soldier #bucky b

[stardewrotsession]

Note: I finally got this done, holy shit. I tried to make these head canons more different than their 10 heart event since I already did something similar, but on some of the bachelors I just couldn’t help it. Either way, I thought this was a neat little premise.

When the bachelors plan to propose, but you beat them to it

Sam

- So I think to think of Sam as one of those “I’m gonna fake it till I make it” and pretend to be nonchalant about it on the outside.

- But on the inside he’s freaking out lol.

- You’re the first person to really get him, without the whole “you’re just a kid, grow up” attitude towards him.

- He doesn’t necessarily wanna make it too romantic. But he wants to make it romantic enough to show you he really does love you.

- Maybe he’ll write a song for you. No, maybe he’ll do something cheesy like bring a boombox to your farmhouse in the middle of a storm. No, maybe he’ll make a poster!

- He’s just a tad bit indecisive lol.

- He was thinking of writing a song about you. Was actually halfway through the song when you randomly went up to him in the middle of fall.

- “Hey, I was gonna stop by the forest to gather some mushrooms… did you wanna come with me?”

- He was planning on taking a walk at some point, so why not?

- As you two walked there, he would mess around with you and tease you while you playfully bickered with him.

- And he loves your little bickers and jabs back at him. You always laugh or smile at him in the end, and it gives him a warm feeling.

- “So, I may not have been honest when I told you I wanted to pick mushrooms with you,” You said nervously.

- “I thought you just wanted to get away from the house,” Sam replied. “Be my knight in shining armor and take me away from my room!”

- Drama queen lol

- “Well, that,” you said, laughing when he grins at you. “But there was also something else. And I wanted to do it when you were taking your fall walks up the river and to the forest.”

- “Okay… now you’re scaring me a little,” Sam says jokingly, although you could hear his tone beginning to shift.

- You took a deep breath and grabbed something in your pocket, revealing it to be a small mermaid’s pendant to him.

- “I know it might not be the most romantic,” you began to say. “If I was as talented as you, I would’ve written a song or something. But… I really didn’t wanna have to wait that long after I got stuck on a few rhymes.”

- This man was flabbergasted lol.

- You knew how to take his breath away.

- “Um… say something,” you said nervously. “Please…”

- It took you by surprised when he immediately hugged you afterwards, spinning you around and cupping your cheeks in his hands.

- “You kidding me?” He asked. “Of course I’ll marry you!”

- You let out a sigh of relief and laughed, smiling against his lips as he leaned in for a kiss.

- After he pulled away, he said, “You know, I was halfway through your proposal song. But I might as well finish it so I can sing it to you at the next concert.”

- “You wrote a song for me?” You asked.

- “Of course I did,” he said while hugging you happily. “Who do you think I am?”

Sebastian

- Sebastian never planned on getting married.

- It wasn’t really on his mind that much. He was so determined to get out of the small town first, away from the countryside.

- But after meeting you, he starts thinking about it. A lot.

- To the point where sometimes he’ll half jokingly bring up liking the countryside more because of a “certain person”, and imagining his life with you and him still in the town.

- He starts to think about his life with you a lot.

- How things would be if he moved in with you, how his life would look if he married you, or even had a family with you.

- Over time he realized he really wanted to do that.

- To the point where he couldn’t stop thinking about it. You were on his mind 24/7, and imagining you getting married to him felt like it could be a reality now.

- Now the problem was where he’d propose to you.

- He could do it maybe on the cliffside where he goes to look out at the city. But that could be weird, considering he used to go there to get away from the town. Now, he wants to stay in it.

- Maybe by the beach, but he only really goes there when it’s raining.

- The Mountain Lake isn’t anything necessarily special for the two of you.

- The whole time he was rack his brain trying to figure out where he’d propose to you. It started getting on his nerves, tbh.

- But the funny thing is…

- …that you end up proposing when you two are relaxing at the farmhouse, watching a movie together.

- “Hey, so I was walking around the beach the other day,” you began.

- “When it was raining?” He asked. “I would’ve gone with you.”

- You smile and shake your head.

- “Yeah, you could’ve. I ended up seeing a frog by the river on my way back.”

- “Lucky,” he said while grabbing some popcorn.

- “But I wanted to go to the beach, for this…”

- You slowly pull out a mermaid’s pendant, carefully holding it out towards him.

- He glanced at it, then looked back at the movie. Then did a double take.

- He immediately paused the movie and turned his body towards you, carefully admiring the pendant.

- “I know this isn’t the most romantic place,” you began. “But I really think you’re something special, Seb. And I really wanted to ask… will you marry me?”

- He couldn’t help but crack a smile, holding out his hands and admiring the pendant in its full beauty.

- “Of course I will, how can I say no to that?”

- He leans in and kisses you gently, as if his words didn’t already tell you enough.

- Sure, it could’ve been done in a more romantic way. But I don’t think Sebastian really needs that.

- He’s honestly just glad you’re here for the ride. With him.

Harvey

- So remember when I said Sam would be nervous about it?

- Harvey’s like, 10 times worse.

- He HAS to get this right, in his head.

- It’s not like he’ll think you’ll dump him if he doesn’t. Even though the thought has crossed his mind once or twice.

- He just thinks you deserve the world. Poor guy barely thinks he’s good enough to be with you, but you’ve comforted him enough to let him know he’s more than enough <3

- With that being said, he’d want to propose doing something out of his comfort zone.

- Kinda like when he took you on a date to the hot air balloon. But even bigger.

- Maybe he’ll take you to a Ferris wheel, or take you somewhere to watch fireworks.

- Or both??

- Harvey never really liked Ferris wheels. But, he was determined to go on it. To give you an amazing view, and amazing memory, and an amazing time.

- Besides, he’s gone on a hot air balloon, right? He’ll be fine.

- So he brought up the mermaid pendant that night with you in hand, planning on proposing once you two hit the highest point.

- …But he didn’t really consider how scared he’d be in the moment.

- Right when the Ferris wheel began moving, his knees locked in place and he kept closing his eyes to stop himself from looking down.

- As you two got further up, you soothed his mind by holding him, giving him soft kisses, and comforting him with words.

- “I’m sorry,” Harvey sighed. “I wanted to make this romantic for you.”

- “We still can,” you say as you start rummaging through your pocket.

- Harvey could feel his face heat up when he sees you pull out a mermaid’s pendant.

- “I wanted to do this when you were more comfortable,” you began. “But I can’t wait any longer.”

- He’s smiling a lot, and nods his head.

- “Yes, of course I’ll marry you,” he manages to say, before pulling you in for a kiss.

- Now can you imagine kissing Harvey while the Ferris wheel hits the highest point, fireworks going off in the background as the rest of the world around you two disappears?

- Stop it, you guys are literally so cute.

Alex

- I’m ngl, I think Alex would definitely want to make his proposal very public.

- He loves you, and he wants everyone to know just how much he does.

- So maybe he’d propose in the Saloon on a Friday night, when he knows everyone will be around.

- Or he’d propose at a gridball game during half time, the cameras glued to the two of you as he told the whole world just how much in love he was with you.

- Either way, he had everything set up. He settled on the saloon so you would be more comfortable.

- He might want to show you off but he also wants to make sure you feel okay first.

- He wanted to ease into his plan. Maybe take you to the beach when the sun’s setting before walking over to the saloon.

- It was so cute, he had this whole thing planned where he wanted Gus to play the violin, like your very first date.

- However when you two got to the beach, you ended up being one step ahead of him.

- Walking over to the beach, he noticed a something drawn in the sand.

- At first he thought it was one of Jas’ or Vincent’s drawings. But walking closer to it, he noticed there was a huge heart with words in the middle.

- “Will you marry me?”

- He was stunned, to say the least.

- I honestly don’t know whether or not he’d slowly turn around to face you, or whip his head as fast as he could towards you lol.

- Either way, he sees you pull out the mermaid pendant from your pocket or backpack while smiling sheepishly.

- “I tried to make it as romantic as possible…” you said.

- He laughs while nodding his head.

- He’d be a fool to not accept.

Shane

- I’m gonna be honest, I didn’t really know how Shane would approach marriage.

- I know if he were to consider it, it’d definitely be because you’ve changed him for the better.

- I just really don’t think he’d know how to go about it.

- He’s never really been the romantic type, has never really thought about dates or serious commitments like that.

- Hell, before he met you, he barely thought he was gonna make it to tomorrow, let alone plan out how he was gonna propose to you.

- But he knew he had to change. Not only for you, though, dating you made him feel like he actually wanted to plan out his future.

- He knew he had to change for him, to make him happy.

- So he got to work.

- Sometimes he’d say he was going to the saloon for Joja Cola or to play Prairie King, when really he was going to ask advice on how to ask you to marry him.

- Obviously Gus was all for it.

- I think Pam was too wasted to care.

- I think Shane would settle on trying to propose to you at the saloon. Gus wanted to support Shane in any way possible, and Shane, surprisingly a romantic, wanted everyone to know how devoted he was to you.

- Unfortunately for him, he didn’t exactly know how to get a pendant.

- Don’t get him wrong, he’s heard stories and tales about it “magically appearing when the time is right.”

- But he wanted it right now, man was impatient af.

- For now, he was just going to accept your offer to go to the movies, and figure out how to get the pendant for you later.

- Jojamart had been long gone since you came, and truthfully? He was happy it was gone.

- Before it was a mixed feeling of not occupying any of his time anymore. But that time was spent with you instead.

- Anyways, two you walked to the movie theater together hand in hand. The fresh smell of popcorn hit the two of you when you entered.

- “Let’s watch It Howls in the Rain,” you suggested.

- You got him his favorite snack and practically ran to the movie room, confusing Shane but ultimately giving him something to chuckle about.

- The whole time watching it, he was reminded of how much he loved you.

- Everytime you tensed up when you got scared, when you held onto him close when a scary scene came up.

- Everything just felt right.

- “Hey Shane?”

- The movie had just ended, and people were starting to leave.

- “Yeah?”

- “I’ve been meaning to ask you this for a while now,” you say, beginning to slip your hand into your pocket. “Close your eyes.”

- “But it’s dark here anyways-”

- “Just do it.”

- He listens carefully as you pull out something, holding his hand out when you’re ready. You close his hand around something small. Something skinny, with a little point at the end. And a string. It almost felt like a…

- He opened his eyes to see the mermaid’s pendant in his hands, and looked over at you.

- “Where did you-”

- “Don’t worry about it,” you said with a grin. “Will you marry me?”

- He looks down at the pendant again, a grin beginning to form on his face.

- “I’d be stupid if I didn’t say yes.”

Elliot

- I’m sure Elliot’s a die hard romantic, he’s gonna want to make sure everything goes right

- I mean, he always imagined a romantic relationship would be as amazing as it is in the books.

- But as cheesy as this sounds, his romantic relationship with you blew those expectations out the park.

- He truly felt loved by you, and every moment he spent with you was nothing less than a dream come true.

- So he planned it all out. Even got the mermaid pendant somehow, from some weird guy on the beach in the rain.

- You two went to the library together later that evening, and he was constantly recommending this romantic fantasy novel to you.

- He was going to plant the pendant at the end of chapter one, and once you got to it, he would get on one knee and ask the question.

- It sounded like an awfully romantic plan, to him anyways.

- However, he was so absorbed in his plan that he didn’t even notice you slipping your mermaid pendent into his pocket in the morning.

- By the time you two got to the library, he began to take out his wallet when he felt something small poke his finger.

- “What is this?” He asked before pulling it out.

- Ngl, at first he was petrified. Poor guy thought he forgot to put the pendant in the book.

- But after you explained to him how much you wanted to marry him, he realize you two were planning on proposing on the same day.

- He couldn’t help but let out a small chuckle, which did make you a little insecure at first.

- “No,” he said, immediately sending your uncomfortableness. “I mean…”

- He grabbed the book he wanted you to read and pulled out his mermaid’s pendant. He smiled at you as you pieced together the puzzle.

- “Really?” You asked in disbelief, a smile creeping onto your face.

- “I say we both wear one,” he says while taking yours in his hand.

- He puts the necklace over his neck and puts the necklace he gave you over yours.

- He smiled looking at you, now wearing the pendant with pride.

- “We really do think alike, my love.”

#stardew valley #stardew valley bachelors #stardew headcanon #sdv sam #stardew #sdv alex #sdv harvey #sdv shane #sdv sebastian #stardew valley headcanons #sdv elliot #first draft done #i’m tired

[braidedhades]

just found out that non-aromantics actually have feelings towards the people they decide to have a crush on. Apparently it’s not like, “hmmm should I consider this person for dating? what are the pros and cons here?” Or like, “I want to be really close friends with that person” But it’s like an actual emotional response or something? An emotion that is different from the “I wanna be really close friends” emotion??

also I just figured out that I’m aromantic

#I’m also ace but I already knew that #Shout out to Jaiden Animations #Never would have figured this stuff out this quickly otherwise #asexual #aromantic #aroace #My first “crush” was Carmen San Diego #I was 18yrs old and that “crush” lasted 2 days #Turns out she wasn’t as pretty when she wasn’t wearing her signature outfit #I didn’t actually have a crush on her I just really liked her outfit #I think I just decided that “ya know I should’ve had a crush on someone by now kinda weird that it hasn’t happened yet” #And then I just picked the first pretty girl I saw #She’s animated so I guess that made it less weird than having a crush on a random stranger #But like there were no actual romantic emotions there #Didn’t know that there were supposed to be any but oh well #The whole “I wanna be really close friends with that person” thing really threw me off for a while #Cuz I thought that was what romantic attraction was #But apparently it’s not??? #Too confusing we should just get rid of romance #Honestly my idea of the “ideal romantic/queerplatonic relationship” should have tipped me off sooner that I was aro #It was “a close friend who lives in the same house as me but we have separate bedrooms and sometimes we cuddle on the couch but not… #… always and we don’t hold hands or kiss or anything but we just act like really good but close friends because that’s what I think a… #… romantic relationship is two people who are really close friends” #might delete later I dunno just kinda rambling and I’m really tired

[thecaduceusclay]

Hey if I made a little informative post about like the gay culture the stranger things kids would be exposed to and stuff in the 80s (like focused on helping out fanfic writers and stuff) would anyone be interested?

#stranger things #byler #steveddie #ronance #figured id tag the most common gay ships i know for that fandom im not super involved so idk #just like if anyone would want some info compiled on like terms used and major events #i took a college course that focused on the AIDS crisis for like a third of the semester so i have some pretty good info already #specifically i think it might be relevant like when ACT UP was doing really newsworthy stuff cause that might impact what ppl know #like theres zero chance of a person not knowing gay ppl exist after the die in at the CDC was major news #also like basics like what flags existed what terms existed (ie the term transgender wasnt used really) #not that ppl have to be historically accurate just for ppl who wanna

[mejomonster]

I would like. To be in mutual love

#rant #yeah... #........................................................................................................................................... #look its like this. im chronically ill. i know its not totally up to me i cant go out 1-3 times a week trying ro meet ppl. i know i #cant even eat some days my tummy too upset. cant work some days cant even sit up. can barely keep up witj friends i already have #and i know the being drained wont get better. i might be this sick forever. and i know im prioritizing my own art over #meetjng strangers. thats a choice. i know its my own fault im lonely. i also just. i wanna build a relationship #that long term where u meet and become friends then best friends then fall in love and hey if ur lucky marry ur best friend #and i know that wont come from forcing myself on dates w ppl i dont like. i know no ones ever liked me before #i know i havent felt attraction in years anyway. i miss having a crush. but i suppose itd be sad anyway. to crush and not be liked back #to feel ill need to wait another 5 years for another rare crush. i dont believe in fate i dont think. so i might not ever #kiss someoje i like. i might not get lucky and hold a crushs hand. spend months or years with someone like that #i just. i hate so much romance isnt like skills. i cant just date 1x a week until i run into love #i cant even find 1 person a month to crush on let alone ask out. cause the feelings are luck too #luck of who u run into even if u go tl events. even wuen i had 10k tinder matches the only date #the only person who respjded. was someone with a gf who didnt have much in common with me and me not mucj w them and it #was just not enough click to even make a friend #god it makes me sad. id like to kiss someone special. hold their hand. hear em talk hours #i have friends and love em but i dont wanna kiss a friend. i just dont feel romancy very much.

[daz4i]

anyway speaking of religion should i try to sign up for the next con to give a lecture again, this time about persona 5 and the jewish + christian + gnostic mythology in it?

#i have a few months to decide i think. but I've been thinking abt it! #it's also a topic I'm already knowledgeable on and have a lot of material about at home bc I've researched it before #so like. I'm more confident in it. probably. hopefully. #then again...... the whole process was very stressful...... do i wanna go through it again..... hm #but hey like i said there's still a few months until the sign ups even open lol i might be a whole new person by then. who knows

[lyxchen]

I am going feral while listening to Imogen, Obviously right now!!! Like girl, Imogen I Love you but you're so deep in denial!! "If i was queer I'd be into her" babygirl you ARE into her!!! You have a massive fucking crush!!!! You are not appropriating queer culture by Having A Crush On A Girl!!!!!! Because you Are Queer♡♡♡♡♡

#also this is not at all supposed to be something against imogen's friends i oove them all so much #but #they have got to Stop being like 'haha you're our token straight friend' 'this is actually really inapropriate to say as a straight girl' #like #i know that they can't know her inner struggles #but if they had maybe stopped for a second when she said she'd kiss a girl and been like 'that's a little gay of you i support you' #then she might have figured herself out more quickly #you can't just assume that she already knows everything about herself and stuff like that obviously made her very insecure about her #sexuality #like she doesn't even try to think that maybe Just Maybe she's not that straight #because she's been told by Everyone that she is definetly straight #idk as somebody who also gets insecure very quickly if my friends tell me something i did wrong i can very much relate to her #i just wanna give her a hug #and again i know this is not her friend's fault they're just trying to educate her on things you probably shouldn't say as a straight girl #but imogen really doesn't seem to be the type of person to act gay just for attention like some girls do #so i do find it a bit strange that her friends do think of her like that sometimes #anyways i Looove imogen and also tessa is like really hot and i'd have a crush on her too so go get your girl imogen♡ #lea's random thoughts #i'm about halfway through the audiobook please don't spoiler me thank youu

[britneyshakespeare]

i have been working with kids for four years and i had to write my first ever note just now about a seventh grade boy being inappropriate towards me. i don't know what the hell this could possibly lead to or what. he was trying to feel my legs repeatedly to the point where i had to stop sitting next to him (and i was subbing for his one-to-one para!!!). he's got high support needs. in that kind of job, you're supposed to sit next to them all day and look over their work.

the teacher whose classroom this was happening in could also tell something was wrong. the whole class was acting kinda crazy because it was the day before school vacation week and there was another class coming in to share projects. so like, he was swamped with keeping order already. but we were sitting two feet away from his podium at the front of the room. the kid was giving him and me a hard time when he wouldn't take out his chromebook as he was instructed. and then when he did take out his chromebook, he immediately, for some reason, places it on my lap. he had been ogling my legs the whole time. he puts his computer ON MY LAP. and i'm just like, stunned, because what the hell? can you not keep it on your own lap, for some reason? i don't even know what to say, i just hold it a little above my lap while i'm thinking why on earth would this be happening? he would NOT do this to his regular para if she were here, would he? this can't be normal.

and the teacher sees this and within a minute places a stool in front of the kid for him to put his laptop on. and i'm like. oh ok. yeah. he notices exactly what's happening and that that's not appropriate. and then when the other class comes in to share projects he tells me "miss b——, you don't actually have to sit next to c—— this whole period if you don't want to." and he grabs me a chair for me to go sit with the other paras in the back opposite corner of the room. like he KNEW. and thank you mr. d—— for recognizing that because i was just kind of shocked and didn't know if i was overreacting in my head to all of this.

when there's a point in the class where the kids are discussing stuff, i privately mention what's happened to the para who's sitting closest to me. and she says that the thing about him calling me pretty is something he's been known to do, but the fact that he kept trying to touch my legs is new behavior. and that's a completely different class of behavior. i was telling him NO, don't do that, and he kept doing it. and the fact that he was calling me pretty repeatedly, even when i was giving him instructions that he wasn't taking. and this is the second to last class before the end of the day, so she says she'll take a walk with him before learning center and talk to him about it, and i'm grateful for that. she does. the kid apologizes to me as soon as i come into learning center. but like. WHAT the hell.

i'm STILL like what the hell. this is unfathomable to me. the other adults who i told about this or who witnessed it were supportive of me. but. what to do??? i wrote a long note to his regular para about this, because i knew she was going to hear about it at least from the first para i told. the second para i told about it after school had a kind of... i'm not gonna say enabling reaction, but i suppose since it had already been "taken care of" (or at least, he had been spoken to and apologized) she didn't really have much to add in the way of discipline. i told her what happened after school and she was just like... a little bit, laughing? like oh, yup, that dog. she at the very least confirmed he KNEW what he was doing, that that was not an accident. she said to me "i had a feeling he was going to develop a crush on you" (me and these other paras were together for most of the beginning of the day too). but it's like. it's not about that.

i have worked with children for FOUR years. children have had crushes on me before; i'm quite unfazed by it. boys from the ages of 5-to-15 have told me i'm so pretty before and asked me to marry them. i've never had them feeling up my legs before. i've never had them making me physically uncomfortable. it's NOT about this seventh grader having a crush on the pretty substitute. he is NOT unusual for that, at all. but i've never had a boy of any age or education level repeatedly touching my knees and thighs. THAT is problem behavior!!!

because what if i wasn't assertive enough with him to tell him to stop? what if i was a girl his age? worse, what if i was an adult who encouraged this behavior? i don't come to the middle school to be a seductress. i had no intention in putting on a pair of tights and a skirt this morning of being viewed as an attractive object, especially not by a pubescent boy. what if i did though? what if his interpretation of me wasn't so incorrect and offensive? what if i let him keep touching me inappropriately and saying flirtatious things to me? me, an adult in my mid-twenties, towards a middle school boy?

in no world would that be ok. if i had been feeling up and overly-complimenting a CHILD at my place of work, holy shit would there be reports about me. so a child acting that way could never be ok either. if it'd be firable for me to be reciprocating that action, then that action should not be happening to me. ever. and that child should never repeat that action again to any other adult again.

like i am simply not there to be treated as an attractive young woman. i put on a skirt that shows too much knee and get paired with a boy, though, and that's apparently just a natural consequence. hooo-ly shit. like i don't know what to do. first of all, the more time passes since this has happened, the more i am just unable to stop thinking about it. i wasn't "hurt" or too emotional in the moment but i'm just still processing it and it gets worse. i'm just more and more disgusted.

i don't know what i expect to come out of this, or the email i sent to his regular para. like, am i gonna have to attend a fucking meeting? what is the precedent that this sets for him? WHY do i feel BAD for him about this? well, because he's a child, of course. a child who has done wrong he may not be able to understand. but he knows WHAT he did. he just doesn't know WHY it was wrong.

and i couldn't even say something to him that was like, "well, how would you like it if i was touching you like this?" because young boys do not understand how inappropriate it'd be. i'm sure this kid thought he was gonna get away with what he was doing at the very least. but probably not unlikely he (being a child with no concept of how wrong it'd be) thought he could get some sort of "positive" attention for treating me like this. either way he was simply doing what he wanted to do, with no perspective of how it would make me feel or that it could be classified as harassment. teenage boys think it'd be awesome if the older attractive woman would reciprocate their affections. they're wrong. i, as the older attractive woman of his affection, cannot be the one to convince him of that, though.

i don't know. i don't know. like it's just so not ok. but if i didn't tell another adult about this, he would've gotten away with it. he would probably do it again. and him being in trouble for it is not the same as him understanding that it was wrong. unless someone has a REAL talk with him about inappropriate attention and consent, it's not unlikely that he'll just repeat the behavior in a setting where he thinks he won't be caught or told on. THAT'S the problem. me, i could just never have to be this boy's para again. in my email, i didn't say that i would never be ok working with or around him ever again. he already knows i didn't like it and i'm not afraid to tell on him; as far as that lesson applies to me, individually, i think he's become too ashamed to repeat that.

i don't know. i don't know. i very much expressed that i, i guess, "forgave" him in the email that i wrote. i clarified that i was writing it for the sake of having it on the record. i think that could potentially be very important for the purposes of preventing further similar or escalating behavior from him in the future. i don't want him to be in trouble. i don't think i will be blamed for this, especially not with how promptly i acted, although i don't know to what extent this will be framed as me thinking i'm a "victim." i'm not... i don't feel victimized. i feel disgusted. i feel afraid for the sake of what could happen to or with him in the future, if he thinks behavior like his towards me today is ok.

i feel like if i end up having to further respond to this, this will be made about me. in a way it kind of was. is? in the moment it was happening, it was certainly about me. because i was the one this boy was giving all this unwanted attention to. but to make the consequences of this about me and to involve me any further, i also don't want. because i said what i said already, i don't care if a student has a crush on me. this isn't about me being the pretty substitute. i'm the pretty substitute all the time, to tons of people. that's not really something i've been concerned about up until now.

but do i have to reexplain my personal embarrassment? that i was wearing a skirt? that he was ogling my legs? really? what more do i have to gain from sharing that, other than having the adults at my place of work confirm or deny me in their heads as the pretty substitute? i don't know. perhaps that's REALLY overthinking it. but i don't want to be the substitute that caused a problem for this special ed kid. i don't wanna be the reason that he can't be around me anymore, the person people think of when they're monitoring how he's acting around girls and young women. i DON'T want to be the one people think of when they think of his past misbehavior. i'm NOT here for that.

that's just fucking humiliating. and in this being a thing that could follow him, i have to be ogled and touched over and over again in people's minds for this to be taken seriously. but for this to be swept under the rug would be even worse, no? i don't know. i hate this. the principal is a nice guy; i wouldn't be surprised if he and/or people from the special ed department reached out to me sympathetically about this. but i don't wanna be reached out to. i don't wanna have ppl i work with tell me "sorry that kid was just so attracted to you he couldn't help himself" like come on. if the kid himself doesn't change then i don't really care to remember this incident. and no one reaching out to me and saying they've talked to this kid will actually prove to me he understands. this is the kind of inappropriate behavior it takes years for people to understand why it was wrong, especially a child who has no idea. i mean come on.

#tales from diana #long post #sorry i should probably put this under a read more but it was just a long stream of consciousness #and idk. im tired. im so tired #do you wanna be known as the substitute teacher a kid kept touching inappropriately? probably not #thank god for the first para i told bc she took it really seriously seemingly. i mean idk what she told him in their conversation #not EXACTLY what she told him. she obviously said this was wrong and she reiterated in learning center again #that if that were her daughter she'd be through the roof and that she'd be telling his regular para #i mean of course i had to tell the regular para directly. i would rather it come from my mouth #i'm the one who has the most information of how and why it happened. i think other ppl telling it would just reduce it to #'he thought she was so pretty and he kept staring at and touching her legs cuz she wore a skirt' like come on #the indignity of that! #i already feel undignified enough. #and also thank god for the social studies teacher. the more im processing this the more im like thank god #i dont know him well. he had already been a nice dude to me before in my interactions w him #like as a sub you notice the people who are really affirming of the strange and irregular work you do #earlier this week i was subbing for the math teacher across the hall for instance and he came in before class started and said #that if anyone's giving me a hard time to just send them to him. bc that group can be a little rowdy/wild #my classroom discipline skills are not that bad where i felt the need to have someone more experienced defend me so to speak #like i know i look young and am assumed to be new. but with most classes. i can handle most misbehavior #i can put my foot down in a way kids normally respect. i know how to keep em on task #and for MOST of the day with this kid that's what i was doing. but if that social studies teacher hadn't done what he did #i might not feel so bold in just straight up walking away from that kid. after saying stop stop stop repeatedly #like he had his own job to do independent of me but i remember the gestures and like. i could cry. he KNEWWWW #that's just a very trustworthy person i feel. he didn't want me to suffer through that any longer #a lot of teachers (unfortunately) largely ignore the kids with paras and/or expect the paras to communicate to the kid exclusively #that teacher is not like that. he was willing to mind that boy while i escaped that situation. so so grateful to him

[raksh-writes]

Welp, today's the day I finally stepped on a scale after, like, I dunno, years probably? Aaaanndd well... that was a number I haven’t seen there before xd Which is both good and bad.

Bad because I gained a few kgs since the last time and apparently went over the healthy bmi and body fat amount (not by a lot, but like around 1,5 each), if the online calculators are to be believed, but it's also good in the sense this might finally give me enough motivation to kick myself in the ass and start moving goddammit.

I've already been trying to do some light exercises a couple times a week but maybe this will help me up the ante + I have, for the first time in my life, decided to try and count my calories intake. Which is... weird, lmao, but also interesting? I haven’t been eating a lot, tbh, and pretty much no sweets or snacking, I kinda grew out of it? So I guess most of my added weight comes from lack of exercise and maaaybe hormone changes. Ive been on and off the pill several times during the last year-two, currently off for a couple of months, so I think that could’ve thrown my body into alarm mode of gathering fat "just in case".

With the calories intake counting, Im mainly curious to see how much I get in the day when I eat as I normally do and if there's a reason for the weight gain somewhere in there. Like today Im already after dinner and I'll probably only make myself a light supper and won’t even meet the amount the app Im using calculated for me to lose the weight I want (5 kg for now to get back to the healthy bmi scale), so that's very interesting and Im wondering if maybe Im eating less on some days but more on others and that's also making my body "put away" the extra? I don’t actually know how all of this works, so Im just making guesses right now.

And the exercise part, ooof. It didn’t use to be so hard, goodness grace, Im Really out of shape. Tho, I guess the added kgs are impacting me too. Im starting slow, mostly stretching + some squats, some shorter video exercises, the kind. I know it'd probably help to make a regime, but that's only gonna make me miserable, so for now Im setting myself a goal of just Doing Something everyday and whenever I feel stronger, I'll just do more on the day. Otherwise the pressure I put on myself might kill any fun or motivation Id have.

This is pretty much just my personal rambling, which I might turn into a bit of a diary to help myself keep track and all (its weirdly easier to just type up a tumblr post than open up a notebook and write it down? Huh...), so like if anyone got through this whole post, damn, thank you, I guess, hah. If you have any tips, I'd be glad to read them! ^^

Let's see how long this bout of motivation lasts me 😂🙈

#personal #Raksh posts #starting a weight loss journey I guess?? #tho those are some big words oof #but yeah I do wanna try and lose some weight #see how my eating habits look rn and try to improve them going further #try and exercise more too #Ive already did around an hour today #mostly stretching plus some weight exercises like squats and big for the arms #I might try some more stretchinf in the eveninf #I know these are very light effort but Im telling myself I gotta start somewhere #little baby steps! #I do need a tag for this hmmm #Rakshs weighty ramblings #alright that'll do for now #feel free to block the tag! #I might make these posts more regular who knows! #gotta try and make myself consistent or something 😅 #and now I think Im gonna reward myself with some gaming ^^

[mars-ipan]

the hinata kinning is strong tonight

#marzi speaks #once again. shoutout to izuru for calling me out on that enough times for me to realize it’s the truth #crazy thing is i keep finding out how correct it is in different ways #like i realized recently. i have no idea who i am or who i’m supposed to be #i think i know who i wanna be? but i might already be that person and not even know it #and the other night i was sitting there. and i thought ‘who the hell am i.’ and then i realized that’s such a fucking hajime ass thought #identity issues moment. teehee !! #i didn’t… think i had identity issues??? but shit i might !!! #it might be genderfluidity having a moment. it might be stress. it could be anything #anything could be responsible for the way i am. if i would be likely to do anything given the right circumstances #how can i know that any choice i make is truly my own #…i need to go to bed. it might be bedtime #do you see what i MEAN though??? goddamn. i should work on getting a therapy appt set up or smth #on a more lighthearted note the whole hajime kinnie thing is SO funny in hindsight #when i asked izuru why he thought i was a hajime kinnie he just went ‘oblivious and gay. among other things.’ #and i said ‘what other things?????’ and he went ‘i’m not gonna bore myself with the details. if anyone would know it’d be me trust me’ #and well. shit! a bitch was right and that still irritates me a little. how the fuck did that fucker know that much about me #it is a super funny interaction though. izuru kamukura came to my blog called me a faggot and left. slay

[vulpinesaint]

what if i cried over having to take this stupid fucking rhetoric class again

#i am. oh my god. i don't know if i can do it. #i already had to take critical writing at previous college #and it was the same fucking class as ap lang but honestly stupider #and now i have to take ANOTHER. #the class i took before fulfills the requirement but i have to take the same fucking class AGAIN for SOME fucking reason???? #i hate the advisors i hate this school i'm going to kill someone and it might be myself if i have to analyze the rhetoric of another meme #I KNOW THE BASICS OF RHETORIC. IS THAT GOOD ENOUGH FOR YOU??? #genuinely fucking devastated by this i'm partway to full tears #i just can't fucking do it. i can't. i can't take it. #that class last spring made me Miserable and i can't sit through it again it'll Break me #can't take it this semester anyway cause it's full And conflicts with my only open work days BUT. #that's a full month for me to annoy the registrar or whoever the fuck until they give me my FUCKING CREDITS #literature and writing 115... don't put me back there... #I HAVE JUNIOR STANDING DON'T FORCE ME BACK INTO THE 100 LEVEL GEN EDS... #I'M AN ENGLISH MAJOR WITH MORE THAN 60 CREDITS I FUCKING PROMISE I KNOW HOW TO WRITE OH MY GOD!!!!! #feeling the weight of despair right now #do you think if i sob in the transfer office they'll feel bad for me or will i have to threaten violence #i don't wanna be a shitty person to people who are just trying to do their jobs but i might snap if they keep telling me i have to take it #</3 #valentine notes

[glitchdollmemoria]

actually. that post about how its important to have weird kinky queer friends. i think the same is true of really every type of ostracized person but in particular i wanna point it out wrt mentally ill people.

if you watch a movie villainizing DID or schizophrenia or something, and you think, "hey, this seems sort of like its based on what my friend has and theyre just a chill person, why are they making my friends condition seem threatening?" thats good.

if you see someone use narcissist as a synonym for abuser and you think, "what, no, im friends with someone who has NPD and i know theyre a kind person, this isnt true at all," thats good.

if you hear politicians try to frame addicts as violent criminals who should be locked up and you think "no, my buddy sam is just sick, their withdrawals are really painful and they dont have a good support system, they shouldnt be locked up for that," thats good.

being able to counter ableist rhetoric with "i know from experience thats not how these people are" is a good thing. like yeah obviously dont make friends with mentally ill people just for brownie points but also try to make the conscious effort to be open to friendship with people who have stigmatized mental health issues. and maybe even more importantly, be someone who makes it clear to others that youre safe to be open about these things with, because chances are youre ALREADY friends with mentally ill people even if you dont realize it, because a lot of us with more demonized conditions try to hide those conditions out of fear, and it helps a lot to know our friends are allies - and then we might feel safe discussing our experiences, IF we want to, and in turn that can help you better understand the realities and diversities of our situations and be less susceptible to ableist rhetoric.

#ok to rb #i dont feel like tagging though bc im not 100% confident in how i worded this #but idk how better to and i want it out there. idk

[shitrubbish]

I wish deviantart brought back the tag editor, I keep getting 403 errors when I try wading through just to add like a single tag

#personal #I know you might be thinking 'who tf still uses da?' #I only use da for my traced base account #and I only wanna add like some tags to internally sort bases for my page so I don't have to make like 50 folders #but like. I have to wade through like 700 bases and get the error after changing the tags for like only three bases already