#i still think they did it oj purpose

[clara-theparasyte]

i wish it didn’t make me this sad :/ honestly it just hurts and sometimes i dont even know why it just does

i think i just wish i could have shared those moments with them but i didn’t even get the chance i didn’t even know until it was too late

#i still think they did it oj purpose #they wanted to get away from me #theyd be happier that way anyways

[thekingscholar]

it's going to bother me til the end of my days if people walk out of Nope and think that Jordan Peele is saying people of color and animals are treated the same or highly similarly in the filmmaking industry. this is my own analysis of the film's messaging so there might be some stuff that i'm missing, but here goes:

i think the most important difference the film is trying to showcase is that wild animals are treated as spectacles to an audience, easily controllable and humanoid in personality, while people of color are either erased from the narrative or assimilated for white audiences.

firstly, let's look at how names and the lack of are used. the movie directly states that the first person to ever be on film is an unnamed black man. the black boy in the tv show Jupe was in was never named in the film either. when the white cast and crew refer to OJ's father, they use "the older one". however, the chimpanzee gets a name. the alien also gets a name. the actress asks what the horse's name is. these names, Gordy, Jean Jacket, and Lucky, are important to the "audience". it puts them in the spotlight and makes them individuals. they are easier to connect and empathize with, it makes people think that they are easier to train and be "domesticated". consider how the actors use Gordy's name to try to connect with him after he grew aggressive and Jupe uses Lucky's name to try to make him exit the box, versus OJ only using sounds when training and directing Lucky.

secondly, let's look at how the animals go against in-film audience expectation in comparison to how OJ, Emerald, and Angel do. the three named animals all go against those viewing them by reverting against their specific training. Gordy attacks the humans when he was trained to cooperate and listen to them, Jean Jacket breaks the cycle that Jupe set in terms of it's eating schedule by showing up early, and Lucky both reacts to seeing himself in the reflection when the crew thought he would stay still and then later doesn't leave the box like Jupe told him to. what OJ, Em, and Angel do to go against audience expectation is demand acknowledgement. the purpose of highlighting the unnamed horseman and child actor is to show that people of color, primarily black people, are overshadowed and erased of importance in the film industry. the trio's desire to capture the alien on camera and get the "Oprah shot", especially with Em's desire to achieve fame, is in stark contrast to the treatment of the black characters up to that point. the end of the film shows this change in Em's character to highlight how she now prioritizes her family and her well-being over any fame, but still allows her and OJ to both get the picture of the alien and survive to show that they did succeed, they aren't going to die or fade into obscurity like their predecessors.

the last thing i want to point out is where Jupe sits in this scenario and where my mention of assimilation comes from. i believe that Jupe is not meant to be a spectacle as an Asian son in a white family in the same way that Gordy is an animal in a human family, but that it's specifically highlighting how him being in a white family erases his personhood as a person of color. he is assimilated, culturally, into the family. it is the only way he gets acknowledgement by the audience, by downplaying his identity as an Asian person and playing into white roles. this is further highlighted with him as an adult. specifically: why is he dressed as (the modern idea of) a Western cowboy? why is he running a Western-themed show? why is his name Jupe? why was he, at the start of the film, attempting to take the entire Haywood ranch from OJ? it speaks to almost total assimilation and accommodation to white society. further, let's talk about his role in his show with Jean Jacket. the focus of it is not him, it's the alien and the horse. even when assimilated, the spotlight of the show is not pointed to him, it's pointed to the animals.

OJ's ability to understand Lucky and Jean Jacket's behaviors is because he understands what they are and how they need to be properly handled, not because he is treated the same way they are.

Nope is a thematically rich film, one full of subtext that doesn't completely hold your hand in telling you how to find it. i think the intricacies of what Jordan Peele is saying about people of color in the film industry in comparison to animals can easily be missed if you're coming at it from the wrong angle. but personally, i believe he's showing that wild animals cannot be trained to behave how people want them to, and people of color cannot be removed from the picture or fit into the "safe" little boxes that white people want them in. while there are similarities between these two things, they are not the same.

#nope 2022 #jordan peele #nope movie #SORRY THIS IS SO LONG!!!!!!!! but i had to say it.

[bellamer]

So I’m thinking about the They Cloned Tyrone and Nope crossover thing I proposed and like I imagine the Haywoods finding out about that clone shit via the news and the cloning facility is probably exposed in California as well (where Tyrone lives) and I kind of want to go the route where Jean Jacket is an extraterrestrial that was being studied and followed by the government to learn its behavior but they didn’t interfere with the Haywood’s or Jupe and they were actually planning on the Haywood’s getting eaten by Jean Jacket and then sweeping it under the rug but didn’t actually think that the Haywood’s were smart of enough to take Jean Jacket down. And that they also had like some super expensive super secret government non electrical equipment and stealth protocols so that Jean Jacket didn’t catch them watching it. Also they purposely let Jupe and the guests get eaten because it was a way to get rid of witnesses and study Jean Jacket.

But since these movies don’t have a specific year but do take place in modern day, I’d like to propose that the Clone facility got exposed not long after The Haywood’s captured Jean Jacket on photo but their story more or less got swept under the rug and silenced because the cloning facility had way more physical evidence and the government, in order to save a little more face, still try to attempt to hide the proof of extraterrestrials so they claim that The Haywood’s photo is fake and doctored and make up some fake proof and say that the disappearance of the Jupe’s Claim guests is due to something else.

So where do the main three from TCT come in ? Completely accidental. They’re on their way to Memphis and Yo-Yo and Fontaine let Slick Charles drive so that they can catch up on some sleep and Slick Charles completely ignores the GPS and takes them all sorts of wrong ways and they end up all the way in Agua Dulce and their car just conveniently breaks down not far from the Haywood ranch.

So they walk until they get to Haywood Ranch and knock on the door for help and Emerald lets them in and recognizes them from the news, or better yet, recognizes Slick Charles and Fontaine from the news because she saw their clones and Yo-Yo does state that they indeed did that shit.

Emerald convinces OJ to ask them for help exposing extraterrestrials and shows them the picture of Jean Jacket and they even get Angel to testify for them because they know that the government is trying to cover what they went through up.

And for some reason the TCT trio helps them out because if there’s dangerous aliens out there eating people and the government is willingly sacrificing people for the sake of studying them, then the world needs to know.

I gotta work out the kinks but I think it could come along nicely

#nope 2022 #nope film #nope movie #emerald haywood #oj haywood #ricky jupe park #jean jacket nope #jean jacket #angel torres #they cloned tyrone #fontaine they cloned tyrone #slick charles #yo-yo they cloned Tyrone #they cloned tyrone netflix #fandom crossover

[catboyclarity]

Antlers Holst’s dedication to getting The Best Possible shot at the expense of his own life and potentially Angel’s and the Haywood’s (I don’t believe he wanted to endanger them on purpose but his lack of consideration toward their safety is very telling), seems to be driven by dedication to the Art of it. He didn’t want to do it for money or fame, he knew he would die, he seems to resent his place in the spotlight, and it’s likely the footage he shot won’t see the light of day either. He just wanted to get the best possible film of the best possible predator because that was his artistic fascination, as we can see from the scene where he is just watching videos of predators making kills.

And like, okay, on the surface that’s more sympathetic than say, the TMZ guy, or the Hollywood folks at the start of the film, or depending on how you slice it, even Jupe, who wanted to remain relevant. Because True Art is meaningful, right? It’s worth more than people.

Talented painters and directors can abuse their partners and subjects and actors, and well, the art is still good though, sometimes the abuse makes the art “better”. Artists can work themselves into an early grave and that’s valorized, the artist should say thank you for having the privilege to destroy their body in that fashion. The suffering made the art better.

(There’s been pushback on these ideas recently, but only recently, and they’re hard to unlearn. As an artist myself, the impulse to destroy my body and health in the name of my own work is one I still fight.)

Antlers just wanted to create the best form of his art, but that was not a good thing. He died horribly. Angel nearly died horribly. OJ might have died horribly. Emerald could have lost everything, and the Haywoods are left with a photo that is ENOUGH to get them through,but have most likely completely lost a much more impressive video, one that fully demonstrated OJ’s skill as an animal handler, too. In the quest for The Best Possible Thing he not only endangered others, he lost something that was perfectly good.

(I think the power dynamic alluded to here, too, with Antlers being a white male director, is very intentional as well. Who do we allow to hurt others in the name of Art? Who is allowed to be hurt? Did he learn the rules for that during film school, during his career?)

His Art ate him and hurt the people around him, just the same as Jupe’s spectacle did, as spectacle does throughout the whole film. When you put your Art before human lives, before others, and before yourself, it can be just as destructive and exploitative a force. No product is worth human blood. It’s pain all the way down.

#nope 2022 #nope spoilers #nope analysis #SWEAR TO GOD I OPENED TEXT TO JUST TO WRITE A SHORT SILLY LITTLE POST AND THIS CAME OUT HELP #I know that some ppl think he was hoping for jj to spit out the camera unharmed so the haywoods could have the shot #that’s A reading but it’s not my reading. I think he was just possessed his fascinations and he felt like he Had to do it #anyway sorry to talk about antlers. i just had thoughts on the films relationship to capital-A Art #and Arts relation to exploitation and spectacle and human suffering #a thing I think about very much as I try to develop a healthier relationship to my work #nope is such a good movie. instead of brain there is nope. #long post #nope movie

[unicornsaures]

urrrhhhhhvggggg i try not to make vent posts a whole ton but alas, ya girl is not doing so hot

tw// sh😁

guys do not do what i did and like. purposely trigger yourself with your own sh from a year ago because oh my god in. its. i feel so absolutely fake my scars were so much worse last year and now theyre just gone and i thought i was fully recovered its bren a year and. and im still crying over it and i thought i was done crying over it. I thought i was done crying over literal scars and i was. i mean i thought i was exaggerating when i said the closrr i get to the date ill br one year clean its getting worse and. nope! no, no that checks out!!

Its all my fault i got triggered in the first placr too. I knew what i had in my eyes only wnd i knew that checking it would only make me spiral and here i am just. crying over it. its sending me back to last year where its i just its only oj my hod i csnt be doing this again i really csnt be doingthis again ive bren doing so well and then. and i dont want to i really dont but im still tjinking about it and im still telling myself i want to but i dont i never did i always wanted to say ive been 1 year clean but i dont think ill rver even be able to make it to that point if i keeo self sabotaging like this. i mean t barely even counts ive basically just replaced cvtting with eevry other unhealthy coping mechanism under the sun but i should be better than this i shouldnt rven be thinking sbout it i shouldnt even be thinking that i can go back i shoulfny be in this situation at all and if it werent for me i wouldnt even be in this situation in the first placr ebcause i dont know how to keep myself away from tjings that i really need to stay away from

i really shouldnt be caught ip on this but its. i was. i was thinking aboht whag would happen if i would look back on photots earlier and and i knew i wouldnt be okay with it i knew i would snap the moment i did and wow its almost like forced recov only made me feel guilty for it and ohmygod kill me now i should be better than this i should be better than thjs ive had crisis called so many times ive been threatened by my parents for this so many times im worrying eveyrone around me and im only getting worse and everyone has to wastch me spiral but they cant do anything because im jsut too fucking oblivious to my own issues but im just too scared to readh out to anyone because how am i gonna say that i triggered myself without sounding like i planend this i didnt i swear i didnt plan to break down over this i promise i didnt mean for it i didnt want to cry over it i dont want to think abiut it anf i dont want to go back ive been doing sowell i swear im just worrying rveryone i dont want everyone to start checking in on mr in the morning just to make sure im still alive i font want people to messagr me in the middle of the night to make sure im not dead im so sorry ik so sorry

im just as tired as i was last year the only difference is thst im not actively trying to kill myself over it even if i really. wiuld like to thats besides the point the point is im just as weak of a girl as i was last year but last year i could at least hanfle pain now i just fucking snap whenever someone raises their voice or whenever i get. acut i break down and whenever i get hurt it only reminds me of the past 4 years that ive spent doing nothing but putting myself through mental hell and im realizing tbat ill never get begger i cant get better ive bren trying and i just csnt

i cant do it ive tried ive been trying why am i not getting anywhere why am i still stuck on the thought of sh i shouldnt be thinking about it i shouldnt miss it i shouldnt be upset that my scars are faded i shouldnt still have the ideas and images swirling aorund in my head because theyre always there and ill always have these scars and ill always br fucked ip and i wont ever be able to fix it ive had so many people worry and theyre worrying and worrying and i just dont care im such a horrible person i

i shiuldvr stopped for my parents they had to skin check me dsily for almodt a year straight and here i am just fucking itching to go grab something, literally anything just to go back and in so stupid im so stupid i did this to myself and im still being a pussy about it i shouldnt be thinming abiut it i shouldnt be crying over it whats wrong withme

#tw// sh #sorry gang #yr fav tumblr is a bit. stupid. #vent post #dolirants

[the-firebird69]

Former Fishermen’s Village owner charged by feds for stock fraud

He says I want to add to your misery Trump and he told me to remember my dad had a Saturn and it was black and I started getting sick again yeah I read that one usually ignore him and for Christ's sake this stuff is really pungent Pew this this is terrible.

Trump

I think I'm going to be sick I have to verify it and I have a little bit and they say they can't find those people I have to tell you something I'm going to be sick

Mac

So he's wanting me to tell people what exactly is happening with this revelation and it is also about the above this guy is John remillard and he was trying to get people invest in this new company where you provide workers for businesses and it's really a couple years old and people have not been really investing in much and it says that we work it implies trumps to and for you to give their money and give them your money and stuff really what they do is they just use the money and the businesses and it's defined and they're getting brought to court in that the owner of the thing is the same guy who used to own but he still owns fisherman's village and he's in default so those two things in this article and they do mishmash it it doesn't make any sense he is in default of a loan on fisherman's village and he is under charges which carry 40 years for stock market fraud because the business is pretty much defunct for wework and it also means that he is no longer doing work and he's no longer building things or manufacturing things and it's not working for the max anymore no it means that he's not doing any work for the public and being a default on a loan on fisherman's village and it was to purchase the place and he bought it with part cash so it doesn't feel he has to pay for it and they're going after him for ownership and it's going to lose it this week and he will be fired and no longer will be going to work as Sam and we're talking about this week so he's going to try and move out himself and the analogy to us is gross is bad and you really shouldn't do it but there's and tons of people say it too they might have the ghost fleet he might be the emperor and it's why Star wars happens and why his grandpa becomes the emperor cuz he doesn't look it and we're in a lot of trouble. And the empire may have done it on purpose and install him as our emperor and starting to get really weird. It says it could be worse I could work for that company that OJ Simpson did in the airport Hertz rent a car. Inside the look around and said I don't think they're doing anything here but vomiting and inside of hearing about the castles and inside the s*** their pants smell their vomiting they're sitting their pants while they're vomiting.....

It's a huge deal here what's going on and this analogy is waking everybody up to Trump being pushed around by the max but he becomes a monster and they can see it

Thor Freya

We going to get the hell out of here I should watch my murderous ways

Terry c

Haha it says yeah revel in it, I mean for Christ's sake this is so bad you jerk Terry, and his starts tried to kill the guy all the time so he really gets killed cuz of that. I got to get the hell out of here this place is a mental nut farm he told me too it's a mental patient facility like the whole place it's like one of those grand experiences you see on TV this whole area is a mental hospital

Trump

Got enough of this crap that's ridiculous I'm getting grossed out but guys are saying it's true they're asking some Max I can't stand this anymore

Mac

Olympus and permission to print his granted

We going to stop these people this Max

Hera

[lesliepsr]

Blog Post 2

Jordan Peele's US is a brilliant horror film that will not only keep you on the edge of your seat but will shed light on our privilege and how we do not appreciate or see how fortunate we are. In the film, there are tunnels occupied by doppelgängers, versions of ourselves that live with limited resources and are trapped in these tunnels while mimicking the actions of those who live above in the real world. Seeing the contrasts between Adelaide and Red clearly indicates how people live the "American Dream" while others cannot because of the obstacles they face. We can see this in our everyday lives while we stare at our phones and enjoy simple things in life, while others are not fortunate enough to have these things. The film foreshadows how there are people that cannot achieve the American dream because they are at a disadvantage. It is ironic how at the end of the film the tethered come together to hold hands. They are following Red’s directions as she watched a commercial for the Hands Across America fundraiser before she was switched in the hall of mirrors. The fundraiser was more of a demonstration showing that people were coming together as a symbolic act. We still see people do this. Instead of actually helping disadvantaged people they present symbolic acts that don’t really help anyone like the video celebrities made during quarantine while they sang “Imagine.” While people were suffering from the pandemic, instead of celebrities donating money to help those who were sick or unemployed they made this video that did absolutely nothing to help. I think this was another theme that Peele hid in the film to show how nobody helps those in need they only pretend to help.

While watching Jordan Peele's Nope, one of the themes that I caught was exploitation. It is prevalent today for the paparazzi to destroy celebrities' lives or for humans to use animals to profit. Even though Jupe is not the main character, he plays a crucial role in the purpose of this film. He survived the horrific episode where Gordy the chimp killed all his co-stars while he watched as he hid under a table. Gordy sees Jupe but is not aggressive with him. Instead, he reaches out his hand and offers him a fist bump. As an adult, Jupe feels a sense of power since he survived; he feels like he can manipulate any spectacle. Jupe creates a show where he wants to show off the alien to the world while using OJ's horses as bait. This backfires on Jupe since the alien does not go for the horse; instead, it absorbs all the people in the audience, himself and his family. We see something similar happen when the paparazzi visit OJ and Emerald to try and get information about the incident at Jupiter's Claim (Jupe's amusement park). As he searches for answers, he is also killed by the alien. We see this in the real world, in which there is so much exploitation that we have become desensitized.

[writingoneshots]

Hi how are you? Just saw your answer. I just wanted to ask if you could write a fic where Killer falls for Kid's lil sister and he is afraid of telling her. But she likes Killer too and he is all cute with her while the crew makes fun of them and one day they end up locked alone, they confess and Kids finds them kissing or something. Thank you for the attention and sorry for the bothering or if anything of the request does not follow the rules or offends you.

Killer's confession

Hey! I am sorry for the late reply. I forced myself to take a break because a lot has happened in my family but I finally feel ready to get back into the social (online) life :)

You are my first request for my 'I am back' moment haha. Hope you're happy with the little story. Have a nice day :) !

- Killer x reader (Kid's sister) - 2,028 words - romance, cute moment, tiny bit of nsfw but nothing too tragic

Since Kid made the decision to let you, his sister, join the crew, you have been nothing but trouble. Not only did you need all those extra girly things but you also got a lot of attention from his male crew. He never bothered about men surrounding or even flirting with you but since you were spending a lot of time together, it disgusted him to see his crew aggressively trying to get you into bed. You never really paid any attention to these men and it was extra funny to annoy your big brother with these things. Especially since you were the only woman on this ship, you had tons of things to add to make him angry. But one thing bothered you the most. Not really one thing, but this one person. This guy. His best mate. Killer. While every crew member tried his best to make you do some unspeakable things with them, Killer didn't even try to show his feelings. Every once in a while, he would offer you your favorite cocktail or bring you some jewelry, which he stole from another ship. Sometimes he would even try to force a conversation late at night, just to be able to talk to you. But then there were times, when he avoided you for almost a week or even dare to ignore you on purpose, even though you were directly speaking to him. You realized that these moments often appeared whenever the crew would mention how awfully disgusting you two behaved while flirting. "Stop trying to be so cute." "It's fucking cringe, man." "I get diabetes watching you two!" - "You don't even know how to spell diabetes." - "But I know that you could die because of too much sugar and sugar is sweet... right?" Usually, it would end up in a fight, where almost everyone who made a stupid comment would get beaten up by Killer. Sometimes even by your brother. You tried to ignore them because you were never able to just beat someone up. You either kill them or don't fight at all. After a glorious win against a new pirate crew, the Kid pirates were all celebrating in a pub. Drinking, eating, singing, and even dancing were mandatory in every pirate's party but with the Kid pirates you have to include a few fights, threats and topless women dancing on the tables or on men's laps. Kid was already drunk and probably didn't even know on which planet he was on. A woman kept squeezing her breasts onto his face and Kid didn't bother at all. He stood up with that woman in his arms and went straight into a room above the pub. You shook your head at that sight and finished your drink to try to delete this last memory of your brother and breasts. You glanced over to Killer, who was surrounded by two women in their underwear. They were dancing seductively and singing a song you've never heard of. Feeling your sight resting on him, Killer turned his head into your direction. Even though you couldn't see his eyes, or even his face, you knew that he was looking at you. Your heartbeat fastened at the thought of him staring at you and you immediately turned your head away, trying to calm yourself down. But it was harder than expected. It's been way too long since you've wanted someone's attention. When you've met Killer, you were fascinated by his existence and wanted nothing more but his near. Especially now.

"Are you alright?", a very familiar voice appeared behind you. It was him. You were just able to nod and wouldn't even dare to try to speak now. "I erm-", Killer paused and stepped closer to you, "I wanted to go back to the ship now.. Kid told me that you'd prefer to stay in a room here. I'd prefer to bring you there.. just to make sure you'll arrive safely." "I can defend myself and you know that.", you frowned at that request and turned back to him. His offer surprised you but you knew that he didn't mean to offend you. But his sudden change of interest confused you. "You're right but I'd prefer to see it with my own eyes. I mean.. that you're safe in your room." Killer cleared his throat and took a step back to make room for you so you could follow him. You raised an eyebrow at him and thought about his offer. After you gave it a few thoughts, you nodded softly and stood up, following him upstairs. None of you spoke up or made a single noise on your way to your room. You hated it. "Killer, do you hate me?" He suddenly froze. You turned to him, surprised by his reaction. "Wait.. did- did I-", Killer shook his head. He didn't expect you to feel as if he'd hate you. "No, I don't hate you. I could never.. It's actually the complete opposite." "So.. you like me?" Killer nodded and was still not moving. "How much?", you teased him a little and tried to hide a smile. You could clearly see how his ears got a slight blush of red and tilted your head a little. "Where is your room, (Y/N)?", he stepped closer and looked around, as if he'd try to actually look for the room. But he took his arm around you and pulled you closer to him, letting you lean onto his torso. "It's at the end of the corridor.", you whispered and smiled at this soft gesture. You missed the smell of his minty-woodish mixture and enjoyed the few seconds of him actually trying to have physical contact after a way too long time. "Alright.", Killer commented and leaned forward to pick you up with both his arms. Not trying to hurry, Killer carried you to the room and took his time to get there. He loved carrying you around and generally preferred to be the one caring for you whenever possible. When he finally made it to the door, you leaned a bit to the side to be able to open it with a single swipe. Killer slowly went in and carried you to the bed. He let you down carefully and again, took his time. "Thank you, Killer.", you whispered for only him to hear and watched him standing up again. With a soft pat on your head, he turned to leave.

"Wait, you're actually leaving?", you looked at him surprised again. You were here, alone, in a bed, and he didn't care. "What else am I supposed to do? You are safe in your room and it's late at night.", he turned to you when he reached the doorway and was thinking of turning the lights on but he preferred to see you in the light of the moon. "I don't know.. we could talk? Or.. you could just sleep here?", you looked up at him, hoping he'd take the offer. Killer had already considered it but he wasn't sure if you'd like it. Without having to think about it twice, he came back to you and closed the door behind him. "Alright. I will stay, if you don't mind.", he took off his boots and shirt and laid down into the bed. You couldn't help but stare at his figure. The moonlight was shining into the right spots of the room, revealing his muscles and all the scars covering them. "Are you done staring?", he joked a little and patted the place right next to him. You took off your heels and bra in one move and sighed relieved after feeling your chest relaxing now. "Are you going to sleep with that mask on?", you looked short at him and crawled backwards into bed until you were on the same height as Killer. A few seconds have passed and Killer wasn't sure why he was hesitating. You've already seen him without the mask, which is why he shouldn't be bothered to take it off. But he feared to ruin the moment with the look of his face. You felt how anxious he suddenly became and smiled a bit, "Don't worry about it." You leaned slowly forward and gave him a kiss on his bare chest before turning around and cuddling onto him. "I won't look. Promise! But you shouldn't sleep with it. Let your face rest from the pressure." Killer couldn't believe it. The amount of respect and comfort you were offering, stunned him. This time, he didn't have to think about it again. Killer took off his mask and placed it right beside him onto the nightstand. He then took an arm around your waist and pulled you closer to him. "Could you do me a favor though?", you sighed and closed your eyes. When he leaned his chin onto your shoulder, you felt how he nodded softly. "Could you please massage my breasts? They feel really sore after that fight.. I really need a new bra." Two soft pushes of his chest onto your back let you know that he had to giggle but as usual, he was hiding his laugh. Killer didn't need to hear this offer a second time and slid under your shirt to reach for the first breast. When he softly began to massage it, he leaned his head onto his free hand and looked down at you. The sight of you relaxing and the thought of him being able to ease your pain, made him happier than he could have ever imagined. Even though this was the first time that he has ever touched you like that, Killer didn't mind that it was for your own pleasure as it made him feel better as well. When Killer switched to your other breast and had to focus on himself to not wake up his partner in his pants, a loud knock on the door appeared. Killer froze immediately and grabbed the mask behind him, to cover his face. But he did not let go of you or your breast yet. "Oj! Killer! Do you have any condoms?!", Kid opened the door after no one answered, turned the lights on and froze at the sight of you two in bed. Killer had already moved his arm away to not let anyone see what he was doing and threw a blanket on top of you as nobody but him should see you like this. Killer took a deep breath to not beat up Kid at how rude he was and nodded. He cleared his throat before he grabbed something in his trousers and handed two condoms to Kid. Kid narrowed his eyes when he grabbed them and looked at you and Killer carefully. He then ripped off one condom and threw it back at Killer. "I don't want to become an uncle yet." You rolled your eyes at that comment and threw a small pillow into his direction, "Get out!" Kid went to the door and looked back at you two, stopping for a few seconds. He clenched his teeth and took a deep breath. "Move!", you threw a knife at him and he

immediately slipped out of the door and crashed the door close. The knife hit the perfect spot, where Kid's head would have been. "Next time, throw it earlier.", Killer giggled and took off his mask again. "How did he even know that I was in here?" "He always expects it.", you assured him and leaned forward, grabbing the condom Kid left. Killer raised an eyebrow and watched you lay back down to not look at him again. He couldn't help but smile a bit as he leaned back to you and kissed your shoulder softly. "There are a lot of positions, where I don't have to face you.", you smiled a bit and pulled his arm around you, to signal Killer to massage you again. "Good thing that I only showed him these two condoms. I have a whole package in my other pocket.", Killer smirked and began massaging your breast with one hand, while the other pulled down your pants.

#request #killer #killer x reader #killer one piece #eustass kid #one piece #one piece x y/n #one piece x reader #massacre soldier #one shot #openrequests #open requests #one piece request #reader x killer #eustass #eustass kid one piece #killer eustass

[chipsfics]

part 6 2/2

2/2 is finally here! sorry for the long wait!

rated: PG-13 for swearing and crying.

Down in the basement. It's dark, musty, and everything is still covered in cobwebs. Once Tissues flicks on the light, the only thing that changes is the "dark". His brain is buzzing with activity- What could go there, what could he put here? So much wasted space in the hotel- and he was 99% sure that nobody else had been down here in a long time. He had to try and avoid being suspicious- But he'd already pretty much failed when Trophy caught him tiptoeing down the stairs to the basement at 7pm on a Wednesday. He went over to the covered-up couches and the chair surrounding the television set and small table- He carefully lifted up the sheets as if they were going to fall apart like wet paper towels. Underneath, the couch was the same dull orange-ish color as the rest of the hotel's furniture- probably a spare put down here. The furniture was suprisingly in pretty good shape, although the covers were kicking up a lot of dust that made his nose itch. He stifled a sneeze. The TV was tiny and old, but still a flatscreen- Looked like from when Meeple HQ was just dipping into television production. The small, outdated meeple logo on the power button confirmed his suspicions.

He picked up the cord attached to the back of the TV and plugged it into the small, dusty, offwhite outlet. Surprisingly, the TV almost immediately turned on with a loud startup jingle that just about made Tissues jump out of his skin. He walked over and looked at the screen, which had the old Meeple logo spinning on it's screen as it tried to boot up. Once it finally finished the startup sequence, the screen was on an empty DVD selection menu. "Hm." Tissues scratched his head as he continued to explore the area. What else could he fit in there? And more importantly, how would he get it down the stairs? 

Tissues sat down on the couch and a puff of dust fluffed out of the cushion. He sniffed... sniff... achoo-! Tissues sneezed. Tissues pulled out his phone and started to browse online for something to buy to fill the room- He had a little extra cash, because despite being eliminated first, he was still compensated for participating in II. That, and the lawsuit against Mephone that OJ pulled a while ago got him enough money to last for a long time. A minifridge, a new game console, a recliner... too many options! He wanted to make this basement space absolutely perfect. 

The more he thought about how hard it'd be to order all of this stuff and not have OJ- or god forbid, Trophy- notice what he was up to was leaving him puzzled as well. Maybe he needed to call in some backup... Or just do all these activities at night (although that'd be even sketchier if he got caught.) In a moment of frenzied impulse, Tissues loaded everything he was pining after into his online shopping cart and purchased them all at once. He turned off his phone and rocked back into the couch, processing what he'd just done. It was a bad idea, he knew that, but something about it was so thrilling. His heart was pounding- It was like he was making the hotel into his home, cozy underneath the earth, exciting and secret and all his. He was giddy.

After that brief moment of happiness, Tissues paused as he realized something. Oops. How was he going to pull this off? He scratched his chin, and another lightbulb went off above his head. To find someone to help him... He went back up the stairs, clinging to the handrail as he tried not to look backwards- He /has/ to find a way to get up the stairs without having to scale them. Yinyang was, of course, busy that day (with some kind of... event? He didn't say), so his only option was... sigh.

Cheesy was in his usual spot- loudly unwrapping and eating fun sized candy bars on the couch, throwing the candy wrappers on the floor after he's done with them. Tissues waved to get his attention. 

"Hey Tissues, what's up?" Cheesy said, and looked around. "Where's your boyfriend?"

"He's not my-" Tissues sighed. "And he's doing something today. Listen, Cheesy, would you be willing to help me with something?"

Cheesy narrowed his eyes. "Like what?" 

"Something... against the house rules," Tissues said. "It involves snacks! And TV," 

"I'm interested," Cheesy said. "I'm always down to cause some trouble. What exactly are we talking about here?"

"So." Tissues looked around. "There's a place in the basement that's completely unused, and already has chairs and a couch and stuff, and i'm planning to fix it up into a kind of secret hangout spot?"

"Hmmm, interesting..." Cheesy nodded. "Sounds fun! But how're you gonna pull that off?"

"That's what I need you for," Tissues said. "I ordered a minifridge, some video games, and a couple other things that i absolutely can't carry down the stairs myself- That's where you come in." 

Cheesy looked deep in thought for a couple seconds. "I'm in. But you have to let me hang out down there too," 

"Of course! Just don't tell anyone, ok? Especially OJ." Tissues said.

"No problemo, Tissues." Cheesy said, winking. "Until then, do you wanna play Space Bubble with me? I need a player 2 to complete this level." 

"Seriously?" Tissues said. "You wanna play video games with me?"

"Sure, whynot. It's not a huge deal," Cheesy said. "You seem like a cool guy."

"Ah, really? sorry, ehehe, It's just that, people don't usually want to be around me... on purpose," Tissues said bashfully, smiling, and grabbed the second controller. In his head, he was wondering when Yinyang was getting back. This game would be really fun with 3 players...

----

The next morning, Yinyang was still nowhere to be found. It'd been like this a couple times before, and Tissues wasn't too worried- They were probably just sleeping in or taking an extra long shower or something. He figured he'd be able to catch up with him later. Although, the thought lingered in the back of his mind- something was wrong. Was it him? Did something bad happen to his friend? He pulled himself out of bed all at once, stumbling a bit and catching himself before he fell, sniffing and sighing. Down the elevator, no Yinyang. Into the kitchen, no Yinyang. Past the living room, Trophy was sitting in Yinyang's usual spot. Trophy sneered at him, but Tissues was too busy with too much on his mind to really care. 

Tissues took a deep breath. Into the basement. It'll clear his head. Stairs, step, step, stumble- whoops, back on his feet and step, step step again. Flick on the lightswitch. Vision blurs a little bit. Stress or vertigo? Doesn't matter.

Someone was sitting on the old couch, twiddling his thumbs, looking upset. 

"Yinyang?" Tissues said, and he jolted up and looked.

"Tissues," He said, his voice was shaky. 

"What- uhh, What're you doing down here?" Tissues said, sounding concerned, walking over and sitting next to his friend. "Are you... alright?"

"Umm.." Yinyang shifted in his seat, getting more choked up. "I... well."

"It's okay, you don't have to talk about it if you don't want to." Tissues put his hand on Yinyang's, and he immediately melted into the gesture. "D-do you need a hug?" Tissues smiled sheepishly.

Yinyang wordlessly nodded and pulled Tissues closer into a soft embrace. He was shaking really bad. Clenching and unclenching his fists, gritting his teeth. Tissues pat him on the back. "Is there anything I can do to help..?"

Yinyang didn't respond. He was crying. They stayed in that hug for a long time before Yinyang stopped shaking.

Tissues pulled away, his eyes sparkling with sympathy. He pulled a tissue out from his head and handed it to Yinyang. "Here you- sniff.. go, buddy. Please feel better... It hurts my heart to see you cry." 

Yinyang laughed. "You..." He sniffed, smiled, and wiped his face off. "Have to stop being so kind to me. I'll just end up disappointing you, or hurting you," 

"Wh.... no way..!" Tissues' eyes widened.. "I think- I... you're the only real friend I've ever had..! I love you and- and I really do care about you!" Tissues was getting choked up..

Yinyang laughed again, tears rolling down his face. "Dammit... this is what I'm talking about." Yinyang sniffed. "You're the only one who's ever cared about me, and it hurts- it hurts because I know that I won't ever be able to let you go." Something about Yinyang's voice was so sad. 

"Stopp it- sniff, you're gonna make me cry too..!" Tissues wiped his nose, and paused for a moment... "and... sniff... You're gonna have to try really hard to get rid of me. I'm already imprinted on you like a baby duck you know like in the cartoons where-"

"Tissues, what the hell are you even talking about-?" Yinyang laughed. "You nerd...!" He punched Tissues on the shoulder. 

"Aahhh, ahaha, oww.." Tissues smiled. There was a moment of silence. "Are you feeling any better... do you need to talk about anything else, i mean..?" 

"ah.... Tissues." Yinyang sighed. "I'm so scared of scaring you away. But... there's something I need to tell you... I. How do I say this..." Yinyang took a deep breath, and seemed to have regained some of his composure. 

"It's okay...! You can tell me anything..!" Tissues put a hand on Yinyang's shoulder, and he shivered. 

"Tissues. I've never said this to anyone so ... i apologize if we mess up. But... I think I'm in love with you." Yinyang looked away in shame and embarrassment. 

Tissues stared at him, wide-eyed, his face red. "W-wait. that's a funny coincidence, because.. Nobody has ever said that to me. Yinyang, I..."

"It's okay if you don't-" Yinyang sniffed, "Feel the same or, whatever. It's been forever since we were able to agree on anything, and it's kind of... terrifying. But i love you. We love you. And..."

"I love you too!!" Tissues stood up on the couch suddenly. "I was so worried you thought that I was hitting on you because I was and I was scared that you didn't like me like that and I just realized that i like liked you a couple days ago and-" Tissues rambled on and on...

"Shut up." Yang said. "Hey!" Yin scolded. "Now is not the time," 

Tissues laughed. "Sorryyy... I just got- really excited, and emotional, and I've never been in a situation like this and-..... just, wow. What does this mean? How does this work, are we like, boyfriends now?"

Yinyang blushed. "I dunno, probably. I'm too busy fighting with myself to learn how relationships work..." Yin laughed. "It's not... can we just... hang out down here for a little while...? I'm... still kind of processing. A lot of stuff."

"Of course..!" Tissues scooted up next to him and cuddled up to him. "I'm so scared, and happy, and worried, and sad, and just... emotional. Everything is changing."

"We're in it together," Yin grabbed Tissues' hand. "Thank you... for a lot. for everything," Yang added. 

"I love you," Tissues smiled. "I love you too." Yinyang said.

Hotel OJ was a vague silhouette on the horizon when the sun finally set- millions and millions of uncertain years stretching before them, as inperceivable as the distance between stars.

#tissues #yinyang #inanimate insanity #ii #ii2 #tissyang #tissuyang #yissues #fanfic #fanfiction

[storiesforallfandoms]

stuck together ~ scotty sire

word count: 1777

request?: no

description: when a worldwide lockdown leaves you stuck in a house with your brother’s friends, you are forced to admit your feelings to his best friend

pairing: scotty sire x female!reader

warnings: swearing

masterlist

i know scotty isn’t in isolation with todd and the boys but for the sake of this imagine he is

It was only meant to be a short visit. With everything going on, you decided to visit your big brother for a week before things got so bad that you wouldn’t be able to. However, just before you were supposed to go home, everything shut down and everyone was sent into isolation. Thus, you were stuck at your brother’s place with him, his roommates, Zane and Matt, and his best friend, Scotty.

Staying with Todd, Matt, and Zane alone would have been fine. You got along very well with your brother’s roommates and, although you two constantly teased each other, you didn't mind getting to spend so much time with him. The only problem was Scotty.

For as long as you had known Scotty, the two of you had a love-hate relationship. You constantly annoyed one another and some days neither of you could even stand to be in the same room. So being stuck in a house with him with nowhere to go definitely was not going great, for either of you or for the others in the house.

You were in the shower, rinsing off the last of the shaving cream from your legs, when you heard yet another loud knocking come to the bathroom door.

“I’m almost finished!” you called as you reached to turn off the water.

“You said that like 10 minutes ago!” came Scotty’s voice.

You rolled your eyes and stepped out of the shower. You dried yourself off and wrapped one towel around your hair and another around your body. When you opened the bathroom door, you found Scotty standing there in just a pair of sweatpants with a towel thrown over his shoulder.

“If you kept hassling me I would’ve stayed longer,” you told him,

“You can’t stay in the shower forever. I’d get in eventually,” Scotty retorted.

You raised an eyebrow. “Is that a challenge, Sire?”

Scotty merely looked at you for some time before pushing past you into the bathroom. You rolled your eyes and went to get dressed. You were towel drying your hair when you heard a yelp that was obviously Scotty’s coming from the bathroom. You smirked to yourself as you got dressed and made your way to the kitchen.

“Did you use all the hot water again?” Todd asked as you poured yourself a glass of OJ.

“Not on purpose!” you responded. “I didn’t know I was in there that long!”

The sound of footsteps came down the hall and Scotty stood there with a towel wrapped around his waist and still dripping water.

“You used up all the hot water!” he exclaimed.

“I didn’t mean to!” you snapped back. “The water was still hot when I got out, I’m sorry.”

“Man, no wonder you’re not in a relationship. Any guy you date would never be able to shower because you’d use all the hot water on them.”

Your face fell at his words. Your relationship status was a touchy subject, everyone knew that, even Scotty. To bring it up was really a low blow for him.

You fought back tears as you brushed past Scotty, speed walking straight to your room to get away from the situation as quickly as you could. Behind you, you heard Todd mutter, “Dude, not cool.”

~~~~~~

Later that night, after everyone else had gone to bed, you snuck from your room to the kitchen to grab a snack. You ended up spending the whole day in your room. Todd tried to coax you into coming out a few times, but you refused to face Scotty. You just wanted to be alone.

You grabbed the tub of chocolate ice cream that was stored away in the back of the freezer and a spoon. The ice cream was almost gone anyways, so you didn’t feel too bad about eating it straight from the tub.

You sat up on the island, shovelling spoonfuls of ice cream into your mouth, when you heard someone coming from their room. You didn’t think much of it until someone spoke.

“Oh, hey.”

You turned to see Scotty stood there in a pair of pajama pants and a tank top. You rolled your eyes and looked back down to your ice cream, taking another spoonful in your mouth to prohibit you from saying anything.

“Listen,” he continued, “what I said earlier, that was so wrong of me. I’m so sorry, I hope you know I didn’t mean it.”

You didn’t respond. You focused your full attention on the ice cream, trying to keep the tears at bay as the memory of Scotty’s earlier words came back to your mind.

He walked over to the cutlery drawer and pulled out a spoon. He tried to scoop some ice cream out for himself, but you quickly jerked away and held the tub to yourself, protectively.

“No ice cream for assholes,” you muttered as you turned away from him completely.

“Come on, (Y/N), I said I was sorry,” he sighed.

“Sorry means jack shit!” you hissed. “Scott, you know how much talking about my relationship status hurts me, but to make a joke saying why I’m not good enough to be in a relationship? I know you don’t like me, but Jesus, dude, that was too much!”

“But why is whether or not you’re in a relationship such a big deal to you?” he asked as he sat himself next to you on the island. “And I don’t...not like you. I think you’re a pretty awesome person. I just figured you hated me, so I always relayed those jokes and jabs. I definitely took it too far today, that’s on me.”

You sighed as you watched some melted ice cream fall from your spoon back into the tub. “I don’t hate you.”

“Then why do you act like you do?”

“The answer to that and to your earlier question are very similar answers.”

“And those would be?”

When you looked up at him, he was looking back at you expectantly. You could choose to play off the whole thing and give him some bullshit answer, refuse to answer all together, or you could finally tell Scotty the truth. It would feel like a weight off of your shoulders if you did, but it could also make things much more awkward than they already were. It wasn’t like you could tell him and then leave to go home. You were still going to be stuck with him in isolation for at least another few months.

But you had let this much slip, what was the point of going back? Might as well come clean.

“It’s because...I’ve always had a crush on you.”

You looked back to the ice cream tub as you said it, trying to play off the words as if they were nothing. Scotty’s stillness, however, told you that he definitely was not going to let this go.

“What?” he questioned. “Really?” You nodded. “Why did you never tell me?”

“Because you were with Kristen, and you were so happy with her. Honestly, all of us thought you two were going to end up getting married and living happily ever after. I figured...well I thought it would just be easier to act like I hated you and push you away than to allow myself to continue being heartbroken.”

Scotty sat back with his arms behind him, taking in the information. You looked off in front of you, absentmindedly continuing to eat as Scotty let what you had said to set in. You figured whatever he was about to say next would be the determining factor on how these next few months were going to go.

“Why didn’t you tell me after Kristen and I broke up?” he asked, the question sort of taking you by shock.

You shrugged. “I don’t know. I guess I had figured the charade was so far gone that there was no use in admitting the truth. That it’d probably be easier just to pretend I hated you for the rest of my life instead of admitting the truth and being rejected.”

“Why do you think I’d reject you?”

You turned to face Scotty, glaring at him. “That’s not funny.”

“What?”

“Don’t say shit like that, not after I’m admitting a secret I’ve been keeping for so long to you. You’re already making me regret it.”

“I’m not trying to make you regret it, I’m just asking a very valid question. Why do you think I’d reject you if I was single?”

“Because...I don’t know. I’m just your best friend’s baby sister, I didn’t think I was exactly a dating candidate.”

“Well, you are my best friend’s little sister, that’s a fact. But just because you are doesn’t mean you’re officially crossed off the list for potential dating candidates. Not to me anyways.”

I looked at him long and hard, trying to see if he was joking or not. “What are you getting at, Sire?”

Scotty threw his head back and let out a long groan. “What I’m trying to get at, Smith, is that I like you, too. And I have ever since I broke up with Kristen, maybe even before. Part of the reason we broke up was because I didn’t really love her like I once did, and upon being apart from her and thinking it all over, I realized that maybe the reason why I didn’t love her like I once had anymore was because I liked someone else. Someone being...you.”

You looked at Scotty for a long time, trying to let the information sink in, but for some reason it just wasn’t sticking. Part of you just didn’t believe that Scotty could possibly like you. Although, part of you still just couldn’t believe that he was finally single at the same time that you were, so it was actually possible to try and be together.

“I know it's not exactly the greatest time to start dating,” Scotty said. “But when everything opens again I’d like to take you on an actual date, if you’d let me.”

You couldn’t help but smile as your heart began to beat a million miles a second. Unable to really say anything, you just nodded quickly, causing Scotty to smile as well. Suddenly, he sat up and dug his spoon into the ice cream, managing to get even a little bit before you yanked the tub away from him again.

“No! Just because I said I’d date you doesn't mean you get my ice cream!” you laughed as he tried to reach around you to get more.

“Oh, I will get that ice cream, just you wait!”

#scotty sire #scotty sire imagine #scotty sire x reader #the vlog squad #vlog #vlog squad #vlog squad imagine #imagine #one shot

[funky-boat-zone]

anyone want more stuff on the swap au?

star fleet

literally everyone in the star fleet is at least a little scared of hercules. the only one who isn’t is captain star.

ten cents does not get along with the larger tugs in his fleet. he thinks that they’re idiots who will only learn what it means to be a star if they learn it the hard way, and they think he’s an obnoxious little rat who captain star favors for some neptune-forsaken reason.

captain star (and the star fleet as a whole) are a near-textbook example of “villain with good publicity”. they’ve done/tried doing a lot of shady shit before and during the events of the au, but the vast majority of their clients never caught on and those that did never ratted them out.

oj was saved from being scrapped by captain star, but he now owes the star fleet his services in exchange for that favor. he wears the same hat that he does in canon to keep up the impression that he’s just an unsuspecting old tug with no ties to their shadier activities. he would gladly leave if he could, but the star fleet has made it clear that they’d have no qualms about putting him back on the chopping block.

grampus has a very similar story to oj; initially, the z-stacks at least considered saving him when they found out the navy was going to blow him up, but zorran just had to be himself and insist that they couldn’t, they’d be stealing navy property. by the time he changed his mind, he set out with the rest of the z-stacks to try and play the heroes.. only to hear explosions and not see the submarine. zorran assumed that they were too late until he saw grampus at the star fleet’s dock a few days later (much to the z-stacks’ shared horror).

in exchange for them saving his life, grampus now owes the star fleet his services. he refused to get involved in any illegal activity, but he still works as a spy for the stars, watching the z-stacks’ activities and seeking out potential jobs for the star fleet before their competition gets a chance. captain star opted not to have him repainted to avoid raising suspicion if he gets caught.

top hat hates the z-stacks because zebedee accidentally spilled garbage on him while on garbage duty.

z-stacks

zip’s pretty insecure about the fact that his previous owner sold him off for being “too stupid” to do his work properly.

zebedee has his doubts about whether or not the z-stacks will succeed as a fleet, and he’s admittedly considered joining the stars, who he considers “the winning side”.. his conscience ensures that he’s never gone through with it, and he’s never told anyone that he considered it in the first place.

zorran sometimes whistles through his tooth gap. usually it happens when he’s really upset/excited and forgets to control his speech so that it doesn’t happen, and he’s always super irritated when someone points it out. naturally, that’s the first thing the stars bring up when they want to upset him.

zorran’s also deeply scared of disease in general (or rather, the boat equivalent of such). he once got bamboozled into thinking there were shipworms in the harbor and was so freaked out that he was basically out of commission for the rest of the day.

zak did something to get sold off from his old fleet. he’s never told anyone what it was, only that it seemed like a completely foolproof idea at the time.

other

lillie and hercules kinda-dated at some point, but she realized something was up and broke things off with him. because she’s essential as a lightship, the star fleet can’t do anything about the fact that she knows the truth about them, but she also hasn’t reported them to the coast guard yet because her suspicions were just that; suspicions, not any actual proof. her relationship with them (hercules especially) has been tense ever since, although they at least try to be polite to each other for professional purposes.

billy’s still a chaotic neutral here. despite what some of the stars think, he’s not stupid and suspects something’s up with them. he’s willing to help them out, but it’s generally because he wants to help sunshine (since they were close friends before he was sold to captain star).

i haven’t really decided what role johnny cuba plays here. on one hand, his dynamic with zebedee in canon was great and really brought out another side to zeb’s character, but it’d make no sense for him to want anything to do with zebedee here since he doesn’t know him and there’s nothing this zeb could offer him. i guess johnny could come up as a threat to the stars, since captain star has no qualms about dealing with some really sketchy individuals to stay in business. of course, that’d also blow the stars’ cover wide open, since it’s a little difficult to hide a massive steam tramper who’s a notorious criminal claiming he has connections with captain star.

boomer ultimately still ends up as a houseboat. and that’s good for him, since he deserves to be happy and shouldn’t have to be dragged into all this nonsense.

#this is tugs #swap au #ask to tag

[laufire]

Supernatural s2

I’m halfway through s3 already (technically a rewatch, but there were episodes I didn’t watch the first time around), so this post is a little overdue lol. At this rhythim the posts will overlap. Plus I’m hoping I can finish s4-5 during the holidays to see the ~intended ending~ before I have to slow down on the binge-watch. After that, a season a month sounds achievable AND won’t take longer than 2021 xD

ANYWAY.

-Overall, I’ve enjoyed it more than the first one, but at the same time I’ve found myself missing how... claustrophobic? Insular? Compact? That one was. s2 was about the world opening up just a little bit more, introducing new characters to the brothers’ life, etc. I do love the detail that this is something that can only have, narratively speaking, once John is dead. Again: this show gets abusive families, consciously or not.

-The foreshadowing is beautifully done. 15 seasons make for a lot of unintentional and ironic foreshadowing later on, I’m sure, but the purposeful foreshadowing is superb this season. About the crossroads deals, of course, but especially about John’s last words. I already knew he’d told Dean he might have to kill Sam (father of the year, seriously. Though I side-eye the fandom even more for always having acted as if this is only awful for Dean lol), so I was hyperaware of every single detail. My favourite moment was the absolute horror of hearing Gordon proudly, cheerfully relate how he murdered his sister when she became a vampire (which, btw, as someone that’s still bitter about what went down with the Gunn siblings on Angel, I found it healing to see something like that treated as a horror story).

-Speaking of Gordon: I unashamedly love his character lmfao. Sterling K. Brown is mesmerizing, always. At the same time, I have serious mixed feelings (especially after seeing his arc in full in s3) because man, if it isn’t a racist mess. I’ve mentioned this before, but it’s not exactly revolutionary that the first time we see the story from the monster’s POV (something I want the show to do! Often!), it’s when white monsters are stalked and brutalized by our first black hunter. Especifically a white woman, btw (although I’m happy to see Tara Maclay as a brunette vampire. I didn’t know I needed that in my life, but I did). And you can tell that the show thinks it’s just so SMART and FUNNY to have a ~racist black hunter!! I mean, the comment about how psychic kids would be “betraying their race” if they allied with demons?? FFS.

And ofc there’s the fact that he’s condemned for the exact same type of stuff that makes Dean be hailed as a hero lmfao. Though I won’t like, I love the moment where, faced with the comparison, Dean’s response is “I might be like you, I might not. But you’re the one tied up.” I love those kinds of character moments. As of s2 I officially have a love-hate relationship with Dean Winchester, I hate it here xDD

But still, on his own, Gordon is an amazing character (it’s one of the most frustrating things about the show, the greatness tainted by the bigotry :))). Charismatic, terrifying, and ofc superbly acted. Also, I love that the fact that he praised John (as opposed to every other hunter having a rockier relationship with him) is clearly supposed to be a red flag LMFAO.

-I enjoy how the seasons delves more deeply into Sam’s ~~dark origins, since it was my fave thing about him way back when. I’m already mourning the (as I suspect) lost of his powers, ngl. There’s a little more attention in how he tends to over-identify with supernatural creatures struggling with their ~dark sides too (bitch me too, the fuck xD), which I LOVE to see (among other reasons because at least in that way we get a little of their POV in the forefront lol). One of my favourites in that sense was the episode centered around the ghost-who-didn’t-know-she-was-ghost, played by Tricia Helfer. I clocked early one what was going on, but it was still very enjoyable, especially with Sam’s empathy with her (contrasted by Dean being a total bitch about it, btw. I can’t believe I still see post about how Dean is all heart/kindness/compassion/whatever the fuck. Dean is all about selective empathy and only when it conveniences him, pls).

I was more divided on the episode with Madison the werewolf, tbh. OTOH it put Sam in a better position, for a change xD. As the one willing to make The Hard Choices by fulfilling his promise to kill her because she was dangerous, even when Dean offered to ~take the burden from him. OTOH I hate that kind of thing lol. YOU GUYS KNOW A HUNTER PRO LIKE BOBBY, I BET HE COULD’VE FIGURED OUT SOMETHING TO CONTAIN HER A FEW NIGHTS A MONTH. Also, my immediate reaction was to compare this to when my man Angel had a crush on a werelady and helped her every month lmfao. But then, very few characters can withstand a comparison with Angel, in any sense :P

I also liked Sam’s subplot with his fellow demon-psychic kids, though I wish it’d lasted longer :/ (also: RME at the queer girl dying almost immediately AND her power being killing people, her girlfriend first of all, with her touch. The black guy was the last one to die at least...?). My fave was Ava, by far. I loved her since her reaction to helping Sam stealing a psychiatrist’s records was yelling “I’M AWESOME!!”. It made it easy to buy that someone that appeared so mundane, with her easy life and her fiance and whatnot, would become so power hungry and go off the rails, IMO.

BTW: RME at Dean being all “oh Sam is going too dark/becoming to cold” when Sam kills Jake. Jake ripped off his spine and killed him first!! It both amuses me and infuriates me all the times Dean tries to push Sam to be more like himself and then freaks out whenever Sam is not all sunshine and rainbows (while still remaining, IMO, far less cold than Dean himself. Besides, it’s not easy to be colder than Dean, lol).

Lastly, a little character detail I loved was when Sam was jealous about Dean being in the federal database but not himself lmfao. 

-I loved the new foreshadowing crumb with Sam finding out Mary knew the demon, too (information he’ll withhold from Dean, which I approve of LOL). I mean, I know exactly what’s up, I’ve watched most of s4 xD (also, what is UP with this family and making deals with demons. Everyone but Sam so far!! And then HE gets dragged for ~getting too close to one smh. Maybe lead by example!! Also also: yes, it was meant to be ambiguous, but I can’t help but notice the only kiss-pact -or further, depending to how close YED was to Lilith’s levels, since to make a deal with her you have to fuck xD- we didn’t see was the one that must’ve happened between John and YED. Cowards!! xD). Still. I’m so curious about her. Her resurrection is one of the main reasons I’m determined to make it to the later seasons, ngl.

-Another thing I LOVED about this season is how they used sibling relationships to parallel/foreshadow stuff about the brothers, the way s1 did often with fathers. I’ve already mentioned Gordon and his sister, but the others are not less brutal imo: Andy having to kill his evil twin, who wanted him all for himself (... Dean is that you xD); the little girl’s ghost who wanted her grand-niece to commit suicide to stay with her, and didn’t give in until her old sister agreed to die in her place. It was chilling. Also, at one point the parallel was between the brothers and a married couple (the ghost-who-didn’t-know-she-was-a-ghost) and asñdlfkajsf. I’m guessing they had fun with the shippers lol.

Speaking of the brothers’ relationship, this season also goes a little further in escalating the violence between them, when Dean punches Sam in the face and he refuses to respond (“you can hit me all you want, it won’t change anything”. Fuck), or when Dean again punches Sam after Sam was possessed by Meg ¬¬

-Going back to my love-hate relationship with Dean, lmfao. My biggest beef remains how much validation his POV gets from the narrative, granted or not; he’s one of the most irritating cases of protagonist-centered morality and I know it’s only going to get worse smh. At least this season it feels a little more balanced than in s1, with episodes like the one where the civilian Sam had tried to keep away dies halfway through the ep because Dean allowed him to get involved, for example. Still, it grates on me xD. The continuing prison rape jokes/demonic possession rape jokes (with Meg and Sam), his general grossness with women and his lack of sympathy for non-humans even when they’re not trying to hurt anyone don’t exactly help. Also, I often see him praised for some of his political views, a lot of which I agree with (his mistrust of cops, saying convicts don’t deserve to die no matter what they do), but when contrasted with his general attitude across the show it’s really grating ngl.

But then he has such AMAZING character details thrown in, that make me appreciate him as a POV character nonetheless, as much as I often want to curb stomp the guy xD. I loved his speech about how there’s no such thing as a dignified death. I love how he refused to come near his mother’s grave, both at the beginning and at the end of the episode (this show is like, the cure to DCCW’s shows false fuzzy sentimentality istg). I love his pop-culture references, like when Sam mentions Dean always thought OJ was the murderer or Dean jokes about freeing Katie Holmes from Scientology’s cult xD (sometimes it really hits you how old this show is lol). I enjoyed his Wishverse episode, and his lines after Sam dies/he sells his soul to save him (“I had one job”, “my life can mean something”) hit HARD.

But most of all? I LOVE how and why he starts losing respect for John. It’s so fucking cold and abrupt and makes so much sense!! Like, yes, part of it is John’s message about killing Sam (... again, father of the year!), but most of all it’s about John making a pact with a demon and dying TO SAVE DEAN (and probably, simply that he died at all. That shit de-mystifies anyone). IT’S SO FUCKING GREAT TO WATCH. “He spent his life chasing that demon. He was supposed to die fighting, not making a deal with the damn thing. That was supposed to be his legacy, not this." Damn, Dean xDD. The *contempt* with which he said that killed me.

I also love his inherently atheist vision of the world (even if yes, it’s extremely funny knowing this show has canon God and angels and shit -no Jesus Christ though, which I find endlessly funny-, or that they actually meet the archangel Gabriel in disguise xD. Either way, the episode with the fake angel and its foreshadowing was hilarious), his anti-destiny stance, and that it’s him and not John who gets to kill YED.

-I liked Ellen and Jo. Not LOVED, but I liked them. I keep fearing that secondary (especially female) characters will feel empty/shallow but the show keeps proving me wrong, even with one-episode wonders, and at first I wasn’t sure about them, but I was sold quickly. Partially because of the actresses, they both had this... humanizing, endearing quality? It worked really well.  I also loved the explicit contrast between John and Ellen’s parenting styles, with Ellen wanting Jo to return to school and be safe from the hunt, and Jo wanting something different. Also, I wouldn’t ship it if you paid me, but LOL at anyone who actually buys Dean sees Jo as a ~little sister just because MEG said that rme.

This show is just REALLY good when it comes to giving depth to a character with only a couple of brush strokes, which makes it all the more frustrating when they abruptly die or disappear to never be seen again/only once more (to abruptly die!) :)))

I was less sold on Ash; he was amusing, but having a Genius Hacker TM helping them out seemed like the beginning of increasingly giving the brothers ways of deux ex machina-ing them out of problems, when one of my favourite things about the show is seeing them creatively find ways out themselves. I like when they’re competent! Like with the multitude of codes they have to improvise plans, like in the episode where with two words through a lawyer they implemented a quick scheme so that Sam would escape from a police precinct. I like that stuff.

-I’m still so bitterly jealous about the dead man’s blood hurting vampires detail. SO BITTERLY JEALOUS. I love a lot of what this show does with its lore but that little bit is the worst offender. I want it so bad xD

#talking to the void #my thoughts #spn thoughts #supernatural #sam winchester #dean winchester #gordon walker #ellen harvelle #jo harvelle #spn s2 #the winchesters get to have a tag I GUESS

[hesesols]

The Devil's Advocate

Day 19 and 21 of Ichiruki month 2020

Summary: Demons are a pain in the neck. Exhibit A: The pint-sized she-demon Ichigo’s stuck with until further notice.

Rating: T

FF/ao3

.

.

His mouth is bone dry.

Summer heat renders the humidity inside the tiny studio apartment stifling. Heat and sweat cling onto him like a second skin and the stupid electric fan does nothing to ease it.

It's barely three in the morning when he trudges over to his fridge and parks himself in front of the open doors. The blast of cold air hits his heated body nicely. He almost moans.

Instinctively, he grabs the bottle of orange juice from the side and takes a swig from it- only… it's empty?

He growls, "Rukia, what did we say about leaving the empty OJ in the fridge?"

The culprit spares him a lazy smirk from her end of the couch, violet cat-eyes gleaming from the faint glow of the TV. She tilts her head just so as she sticks her tongue out at him.

"Oops!"

Ichigo wearily sighs and slams the door shut, mumbling something about free-loading she-demons. His life is hardly picture perfect to begin with anyway with his job at the Metropolitan Police as a homicide detective. Work hours are long, and his mornings usually start off with unsolicited gruesome crime scene photos and a diluted concoction of coffee-water that is nowhere nearly as strong as he needs it to be.

Since Rukia moved in though, things seem to have gone from bad to worse.

His neighbours think she's his live-in girlfriend- sweet, albeit a little strange at times. Ichigo snorts. They don't know half of it.

The midget isn't even human.

Underneath a heavy layer of glamour, are two spiral-shaped horns- the colour of it blending near seamless with her nest of glossy black hair and of course, a very noticeable fork-tipped tail, flicking from side to side as she giggles at his obvious annoyance at the OJ-less situation.

Filling his cup with lukewarm tap water instead, he trudges over and nudges at her to move. Wordlessly settling next to her, he then proceeds to ignore her indignant yelp as he splays his long legs on the couch, taking up much of her space.

She huffs and glares at him, which earns her a careless roll of his eyes.

"What are you watching?"

Squinting slightly from the brightness, he scoffs as he realizes that she's watching a Spanish telenovela. Though watching may be an understatement in this case, Rukia is obsessed with them to the point where she becomes a little too invested in the torrid love affairs of the fictional characters on screen. By virtue of her otherworldly origins, she understands every language known to man and speaks in tongues; Ichigo doesn't and thinks it's a feat that he catches the names of the characters in passing.

He grabs the remote control, surprised when she viciously slaps his hand away and hisses, "Change the channel and I guarantee you won't live long enough to see the next dawn."

"I'd like to see you try."

Ichigo snorts and does it anyway. It's hard to take her seriously even with the whole glowing eyes business when she is so tiny that she barely comes to his shoulder.

As a demon, Rukia is surprisingly low maintenance- the most outrageous of her demands since she has gotten herself suspended in limbo in their plane of existence was for him to take her to a bunny café. That being said, she does however take her soaps and TV shows very seriously which explains her aggressiveness as she launches herself at him, her touch burning hot on naked skin as she grapples for the device.

"Give it back!"

Ichigo stretches, holding it in one hand just shy of her reach, taunting her.

"Why don't you make me, midget?"

Growling, she takes him up on his challenge. Violet eyes ablaze as she clambers over him on all four, chewing at her lower lip from the effort. It shouldn't even be possible Ichigo thinks, for demons to be this cute- ahem-fixated with earthly distractions but the press of her lithe body feels warm against him, deluding him into thinking for a second, that Rukia isn't some supernatural being from the nether realms powerful enough to send him flying with a snap of her fingers.

Sometimes, he feels she almost forgets about her inhuman advantages- on purpose. The puff of warm exhale from her makes his hair stand, the sight of her face so close to his jerks his thoughts away from his nonsensical musings. Her shirt hikes up and the collar that is way too loose on her easily falls off her shoulder, showing skin.

He bites the inside of his cheek. She needs to stop prancing around in his shirts.

She has her own clothes to wear. He bought her a full array of sundresses, pants, shirts and skirts. Ichigo thinks it's compulsion that makes her raid his closet and steal his clothes. It wouldn't have been quite so ridiculous if she wasn't so petite, making his worn-in T-shirts look more like dresses with the hem cut conspicuously shorter than normal on her thighs.

Ichigo looks away and takes a quick gulp of water. The heat is doing things to him.

He's not checking her out.

He swears. Honest to God.

He's not suicidal. He wouldn't put it above Rukia to claw his eyes out or alternatively damn him to the deepest pits of purgatories if she found out about him sneaking glances at her.

"Here!"

Ichigo throws the remote back at her, standing up abruptly without sparing her another glance. His skin feels warm- much warmer than it has any business of being under a demon's touch and his mouth dry. No touch of water will ever begin to quench this thirst and tame his racing heart but he is human enough to still try to run from the implications.

It's too hot to think. He grabs his keys and wallet.

"I'm heading out."

Rukia's voice rings up from the couch- cool, unaffected as always. Ichigo hates her a little for it, almost.

"This time of the day? Where are you going?"

"To get some OJ from the corner shop since someone finished it and couldn't even be bothered enough to replace it."

Her grin is impish, not a shred of remorse from her as she sighs and kicks back, reclaiming her sovereignty over the couch.

"Oh, could you grab some ice-cream while you're at it? I think we're all out too."

He grimaces, halts his process of shrugging on a shirt to yell back, "They're full of sugary crap. Too much of it and you're going to rot your teeth!"

Just before he sets foot outside though, he grumbles.

"What flavour do you want?"

The grin she flashes at him is annoying and indolent with her spread out on the couch, like a cat in the sun, pleased with her unchallenged access to her favourite soap and him running errands on her behalf.

The satisfaction practically purrs from her as she smirks and says, "Strawberries and cream."

His cheeks burn and he tells himself that he's too nice for his own good, staunchly refusing to even consider the possibility that she's got him wrapped around her pretty little fingers.

.

.

.

The streets of his neighbourhood are mostly deserted in the wee hours before dawn and the scarcity of people makes the air somewhat bearable despite the heat. He walks home in the dark, his groceries in a plastic bag hanging limply by his side.

Ichigo sighs. It's a horrible thing to be distracted by thoughts and downright disgraceful that it has taken him this long to realize that he's being followed.

He turns the next corner sharply and as expected, the heavy footsteps, the crunch against the gravel of the pavement follows. He hides behind the decrepit wall, bidding his time until the sound creeps close enough for him to make out the shadow of a hunkering man.

Now!

He leaps out from the shadow, swinging the heavily-laden bag like a weapon at his attacker.

The stranger decked from head to toe in black falters from the surprise attack. He is forced to take another step back as the weight hits him dead centre- quickly followed by a punch from Ichigo, letting out a pained groan as his world spins.

"Who sent y- the fuck!—"

The hood of his attacker slips off and Ichigo is more than a little shocked by the ghastly appearance of the creature underneath it. Whatever this thing is- it's not human. Yellow teeth- drool dripping from the corners of the gaping mouth and sunken cheeks make up the most sinister-looking skull-face he has ever seen. The thing's unfocused milky white eyes sharpened at him.

The creature throws itself at him, snarling with claws drawn out and aimed at his jugular.

Forced on the defensive, Ichigo doesn't hesitate. Instincts and years of experience have him throwing the bag of grocery at the ghoul as a distraction to buy him time. He takes off down the street in the opposite direction without looking back.

The bag rips, predictably; the contents of it spilling into the empty streets but it barely slows the creature down.

Outrunning him by a good minute, the creature lunges at him from his blind spot which he clumsily dodges. His back meets the wall of the alleyway, chipping off old paint and the uneven edges bite into his skin through his flimsy cotton shirt, drawing blood. He hisses in pain but there's barely even time to register it as the ghoul lunges again.

The strong jaw of the creature crushes the pieces of garbage Ichigo throws at it, rendering them into splinters. Its movements and attacks unrelenting and aimed to kill.

Weaponless as opposed to the creature's deadly bite and claws, Ichigo has neither the speed nor the agility to fully dodge the frenzied attacks. The odds are stacked against him and with every swipe and snarl; Ichigo feels his chances of survival dwindling.

He is crawling backwards on all four, back against the wall when his hand closes on a steel bar. He thanks the stars and whatever higher power there may be but knows that he is not out of the woods yet.

Grim determination sets in as his eyes harden.

He only gets one chance- one chance to get this right or he's dead and done for.

.

The ghoul rears up for its attack and Ichigo readies himself.

Mid-launch, the steel bar spears through the creature's twisted body. It gives a strangled cry, black blood oozing and dripping onto the pavement, over Ichigo's battered and bruised body. But Ichigo refuses to let go. He pushes it in deeper until he can hear the snap of muscles and soft tissues, and sees the metal protruding from the other side of the dead monster.

The ghoul flops over dead. Its weight settles on top of Ichigo and he eagerly hoists it off, eager to put some distance between them. The damn thing smells worse than the open sewage and rotten corpses.

Above him, there is an ominous roll of thunder and flashes of lightning that streak through the dark skies. Ichigo picks himself up wearily. He has no intention of being caught in the downpour.

Sharp pain shoots from his side as he hobbles. His hand comes up red and in disbelief, his eyes flit to the wound on his side, cut deep and the shred of cotton or what remains of his tattered shirt is soaked in the bloom of scarlet. The drip—drop of blood follows the pull of gravity, pattering onto the hot pavement.

He's been stabbed, he realizes belatedly and curses, that was his favourite shirt too.

.

Adrenaline fades and his legs give way from the blood loss.

A drop of something cool slides down his cheek before the torrent of rain follows, drenching him as he lays helpless on the deserted street, too weak to even yell for help.

He heaves a shaky breath, trying to make himself comfortable. The ache of the pain somehow dulling as the rain blurs his vision.

Cliché but he swears he sees his life flashing before him. And at the forefront of his strange musings and equally bizarre life cut short before his time, he remembers his first meeting with Rukia.

.

.

There's nothing quite like satanic cults and human sacrifices to brighten up the prospects of the day.

Ichigo grimaced, looking at the crime scene photos with a deep frown as he sipped at his coffee. He should have never taken up Ishida on his offer.

This case had all the makings of a ritual killing. Missing child, dead parent cut open with palms splayed, gruesome markings etched- he scowled; it reminded him too much of his own loss.

A tip-off from Anonymous led him to an abandoned warehouse not too far away from the Docks, the scene of the first murder.

"Don't do anything stupid," Ishida had cautioned him against it, "It's just another prank call. I sent a team out to canvas that area hours ago. There's nothing in that warehouse."

But Ichigo wasn't convinced. Gut instincts screamed at him to take a closer look at it but he also wasn't about to pick a fight when they should be focusing the bulk of their resources and time into finding the missing girl. The first 48 hours are crucial.

He's tough and packing. That made the second part of his decision a no-brainer as he slinked in past the locked gates and rusted metal fences— alone.

What he found inside the warehouse though was enough to make him balk.

"Nothing to report, my ass," he mumbled, carefully avoiding the pile of animal bones strewn along the doorway. He thought he heard the scurrying of rats and other critters as he made his way in deeper, unable to shake off the feeling of being watched.

There's something else in here. He could feel it in his bones.

He drew his weapon as he wandered into a room with what seemed to be a laid altar with offerings of dead flowers and questionable animal remains.

Heavy clouds of sulphur and incense filled the air, making his eyes water. In the centre of the room, was a circle, curious glyphs and runes drawn in red that he strongly suspected to be blood, candles with half-burnt ends flickering.

There's a pull at him towards the circle. He didn't resist it. The minute he crossed the threshold though, the candles were snuffed out and a blinding white light enveloped him. A strange ringing echoed through the room.

When his vision cleared, there was a girl with two horns and a tail standing in front of him, violet eyes searing into his as she bowed somewhat mockingly.

"Took you long enough. I was beginning to think that I'll waste away here for another week before someone shows up."

He stared, slack-jawed at her nudity or rather her lack of shame at her own state of undress.

She was unimpressed. Tapping her foot impatiently, she looked at him and said, "Well don't just stand there and gape. State the terms of your contract and we'll see if something can be arranged."

.

.

"Ichigo!"

The memory fades. The same pair of violet eyes are now boring deep into his.

"Rukia," he breathes. Talking is hard but he tries anyway. If it's to be his dying words, let them at least have meaning. Rukia- her existence and the events leading to her presence in his life are the only things that have ever made sense in a world said to have been created by an all-loving God and yet so full of injustice and hate.

"Stop talking! Damn it!"

He thinks she's smarter than that. He's lost too much blood now to ever come back whole. He is beyond saving at this point.

There's a light somewhere guiding him on. Maybe he'll see his mom after this; will she be proud of him- of what he's done with his life?

"I won't let you die."

There's a strange shimmering in the air. The shaft of light shining down on him is suddenly blotted out and he is falling-

Falling-

Falling-

.

He slams back into his body and chokes.

The pain is a hundred times sharper and a million times more jarring than he remembers. Brown eyes snap open just in time to see Rukia's kneeling body enshrouded in a silver ashy glow of light; her hand plunged deep into his chest.

The rain plasters her hair to her face; her eyes an unholy combination of black sclera and violet irises. She growls from the effort as her fingers tirelessly trace rune after rune across his broken body. The burnished ring of gold on his chest glows and hums with each and every character added.

Ichigo can only watch on in stunned silence as a cascade of something iridescent is siphoned from her and pulled into him. He thinks he hears singing, sweeter than the song of a nightingale and so beautiful that he thinks he just might cry from it.

She grits her teeth.

"Do you trust me?"

He nods.

She presses her lips to his. He surges forward to meet her and tastes the saltiness of her tears, mingled with that of the rain. There's a cut on her lip from where she had been biting too hard and the taste of it- like honey, decadent and syrupy, lingers on his palate.

The pain- or rather the absence of it grows and he feels something being anchored into place.

His heart.

Her heart.

There's something between them that is beyond words and whatever she's done, Ichigo knows it's life-changing for the both of them. He knows somehow, staring at the identical marks of a glowing glyph on the back of their palm.

They're bonded.

But even the very word seems inadequate to express this shimmer between them. There's a sliver of her- something inhuman— nay, a dark voice whispers, better than human— within him and it makes the world incomprehensibly sharper in his eyes, the taste of the summer air sweet on his tongue and the warmth of her skin so achingly perfect against his own as he holds her.

Pink flesh peeks through his tattered shirt. He is once again healed, whole, rendered into something new in her presence.

"So," he licks his dry lips, "did Hector ever managed to tell Maria that he loves her?"

"You idiot!"

She is shaking her head, calling him names for his recklessness. At length, she stops, and heaving a sigh of deep relief, grins at him, canines showing.

"Welcome back to the world of living, Master."

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FF/ao3

The 'I-accidentally-summoned-a-cute-demon-and-now-I-think-I'm-in-too-deep-to-let-her-go' AU

Also detective! Ichigo who solves crime with some help from the occult world- courtesy of his soulmate/familiar/contract partner demon! Rukia.

As always, review, like, reblog, comment or send me an ask to share random thoughts.

#ichiruki #ichirukimonth #irmonth2020 #Day 19: all my demons have your smile #day 21: supernatural #supernatural AU #fanfic #mine #the devil's advocate

[bnhablessings]

Spying with Love!

NN is still going on forever in my heart. This is a one-shot I thought of to contribute to the love of Sof and NN. I imagine this would take place after Denki comes over and ruins Shouto’s OJ

Sof is an amazing writer and I love her so go check her out! @myherowritings​

(Sof you changed Todoroki for me so I had to include alien-related things in here. :’) I hope you enjoy this thing, bby! <3)

If you somehow have not read Number Neighbor please go read it. Here is the (Masterlist). You will not regret it. : )

Summary: (Name) needs to make sure her best friend is being treated well by his new boyfriend so she becomes a spy with her other roommates. Plot twist: He knows

Words: 1,798

Todoroki Shouto x Midoriya Izuku (Of course I’d grab the chance to have them be dating so yes. They are an item in this.)

Shinsou Hitoshi x Kaminari Denki

----

“Stop pushing!” You whisper-shout while glancing around the corner of the street cautiously.

The two males a few feet behind you share a glance with each other. Both are wondering who the hell you’re talking to. You turn back to look at them as you place a finger on your lips.

“(Name), this is no time to be joking around,” Todoroki murmurs as he glances at his partner with a slight serious pout.

Midoriya nods his head and tries to bring you back to their reality, “C’mon (Name). You know how Shouto gets when we’re running low on orange juice.”

“SHHHHH-“

They finally come near you and peak their own heads around the corner. To their surprise, you had spotted Shinsou and his new boyfriend they briefly met. With a smug look on your face you wiggle your eyebrows at them.

“No. We need the orange juice,” Todoroki states his eyes narrowing down slightly as he just a teeny-bit conflicted.

You’re about to get on your knees to beg the weirdo to spy with you when Midoriya pipes in with a brilliant idea.

“Why don’t we spy on them on their next date tomorrow?”

…Why didn’t you think of that?

“Wait what date?” You ask realizing you had no idea they had a date tomorrow.

Todoroki raises an eyebrow as he intertwines his hand with Midoriya’s. He’s ready to leave you for not remembering the conversation held earlier when you met Kaminari. They turn towards the direction of the grocery store and ignore your now crying form.

~*~

“What? How rude. He said we all probably look stupid,” You inform your other spies of what your bestie, Bakugou, had texted.

Todoroki wants to scoff at that response while Midoriya flushes from the slight truth of it. You give your bestie a crying emoji before deciding to text him the updates later. In the meantime, you have more important business to deal with.

You push your beanie further down on your head until it touches the top of the dark sunglasses you’re wearing. All of you are wearing dark-colored schemed clothing, beanies, and sunglasses for this important mission. Bakugou may be slightly, only a smidge, correct. You all look like you are in a cult infiltrating this mall.

The strange looks you are all getting won’t deter what needs to be done!

You make sure you keep a good distance while taking cute (kind of creepy) photos with your phone of an oblivious Shinsou and Kaminari holding hands. This goes on for a while as the three of you watch with careful and curious eyes as they do many things.

They share a smoothie together and heart is soaring from how happy Shinsou looks. Kaminari is good in your book. That is until Midoriya points out a store they are headed to. This will be the judgement of fashion.

They walk into the flashy store.

The three of you watch from the shop across. You are judging the yellow boy as he picks up a pair of clothing. “I get his theme is yellow but… Honey, no. Those don’t match.” You want to desperately call out to him.

Midoriya tilts his head, “Look. Shinsou is helping him out. Black or white goes with yellow perfectly. Maybe brown.”

“He’s giving off weird vibes… Are you sure he didn’t knock over my juice on purpose?” Todoroki glances at the two of you for confirmation.

You roll your eyes while Midoriya, in vain, does his best to comfort the dual-haired boy who is now over-analyzing everything… Which could turn to your favor in needing to know if this weird but bright kid will be good to your sarcastic best friend. It doesn’t hurt to be on the safe side.

“You know what? Maybe he did knock your orange juice over on purpose. He’s obviously not an alien as he a bit dummy in the head but- Quick, what other things have you noticed off about him?” You ask.

His eyes narrow down in focus as he starts to list things off at the top of his head, “His hair is weird with that black stripe but he seems to be born with that so never mind. I have noticed that he stutters, his skin seems to flush, his eyes go a bit sparkly, and his smile turns wider when he’s all near Shinsou. If he got abducted by an alien maybe they are using him as a test subject to watch over Shinsou. We need to find out why they would be into Shinsou though. Wait. All those symptoms… sound familiar."

Midoriya lets out a squeak as Todoroki looks at him. You are trying to hold yourself back from laughter and the pain of wanting to hit him with love.

“Midoriya, do you remember that one night a month ago when I felt a sudden chest pain in my heart?” Todoroki asks.

You remember it clearly and it’s taking all you have not to cry now. All of you were binge-watching horror movies and all you said was they looked rather cozy since they were leaning against each other. You didn’t expect Midoriya to malfunction and Todoroki to ask for clarification on the meaning “cozy”.

You don’t regret changing the context at all because it gave Midoriya the courage to confess and here we are.

Midoriya nods with a slight blush as he says, “That… That was before we started dating, Shouto.”

“Is this all a ploy from the alie-“

“Let me stop you right there, dimwit. Those chest pains were your love wavelengths are whatever. Anyway, those symptoms you listed is the proof that the Pikachu weirdo does love our boy,” You state with a smile.

It forces all of you to glance back and see the two males walk out of the store with a bag in hand.

You casually take another photo only to have someone completely photobomb it. It appears to be a girl younger than your crew and immediately your eyes widen in a slight panic. She’s being touchy with your boy.

“He was just recognized right now wasn’t he?” Midoriya questions.

You nod your head frantically ready to go fight the girl who looks to be thirteen, way too young to be thirsting after your best friend.

“No. This may be a tactic the government is using to-“ Todoroki stops talking as all three of you watch in slight horror and fascination on what is going on.

Kaminari is literally prying the girl off Shinsou. She’s screaming, making a huge scene, and refusing to let go of the purple-haired boy… She just elbowed Kaminari in the face.

“I LOVE YOUR MAPLESTORY VIDEOS! PLEASE HUG ME BACK!” Her voice is so loud it made your heart jump out of fright.

Midoriya is conflicted as he asks, “Do we um… go help defuse this?”

“We aren’t here and we don’t know them,” Todoroki replies with ease while reaching for Midoriya’s hand and the back of your shirt with the other.

Yeah, he knows everything. You were ready to go “scold” a child.

“This can be Kaminari’s test since he is a fellow fan of Shinsou,” Midoriya notes.

…He does have a point. This would be a wonderful test to see how far Kaminari will go for Shinsou. Plus, it’ll be interesting to watch… Todoroki lets go of both of you and already has his phone out recording this monstrosity.  

Honestly, the whole thing got really weird and petty fast. Kaminari and the girl start a screaming match at each other. They are shouting which videos are the best and when they saw it. Finally, Kaminari grows a pair and stands up to the terrifying child.

“Listen- You are a baby. You stand no chance with him. He is on a God tier level,” Kaminari says.

He has the audacity to snap his fingers at her.

Instead of the tears, you were expecting, she goes crazy. She finally lets go of Shinsou and lunges herself at the poor now traumatized blond.  

Before she can cause any damage a new and incredibly buff stranger appears. His voice is deep and honestly, you can see Kaminari having a heart attack as the stranger addresses him.

“You. Why are you upsetting my baby sister?”

OH GOD. Is this really about to get worse??

Todoroki thankfully stopped filming and is on board with defusing this now dangerous situation. He grew a heart seeing as Kaminari won’t have a pretty face if this continues on. Midoriya is the first to reveal that you are all here, by casually saying hello with a constipated look on his face.

You don’t blame him.

“Stay out of this squirts. I’m talking to Pikachu over here and I am not repeating myself.”

To your complete and utter surprise, Kaminari starts to laugh. Shinsou finally moves like he hasn’t been on pause this whole time and gives the guy and girl ten bucks each. He thanks them and they leave content.

“What just happened?” You ask voicing Midoriya’s thoughts.

Todoroki seems a bit annoyed as he mumbles, “I knew this was a ploy. I just thought it’d be by the government.”

“You should have seen your faces! How was my acting?” Kaminari questions in-between his laughing.

Shinsou just smirks as he states, “You really need to learn how to be better spies. Also, don’t voice your entire plan over breakfast.”

“…You are telling me you weren’t gone this morning? And that whole scene just now was all an act? Those were actors?” Midoriya is the one voicing your question now.

You feel quite stupid yet impressed when Shinsou nods.

“You gave me a fright. Anyway, I’m just happy that you two seem to be good for each other! Though, Kaminari, if you do anything to him that he doesn’t like, you will be answering to us personally!” You try to glare at him.

You just look like an angry teddy bear. Midoriya copied you and looks like an angry cinnamon roll. Thankfully, Todoroki actually looks menacing as he glares at the blond (mostly because he still believes he’s been abducted).

Shinsou finally wears that lazy smile on his face and says in a rather sincere voice, “Thank you guys for worrying about me.”

“Anytime, my sweet baby!” You pull him into a hug.

Shinsou continues as he makes eye contact with his boyfriend, “You heard them. You’ll after face them if you ever hurt me. Though, I should warn you that I carry sharp objects around for fun.”

Kaminari gulps out of nervousness for a second before he laughs. Yeah, he thinks Shinsou is joking but you know better. All that matters is that they seem to genuinely like each other now and that makes you happy for them.

#number neighbor #fanfiction #fanfiction of a fanfiction #oneshot #reader insert #todoroki shouto x midoriya izuku #shinsou hitoshi x kaminari denki #bnha #mha #boko no hero academia #cute #todoroki shōto #midoriya izuku #shinsou hitoshi #kaminari denki #bakugou is mentioned once lol #fluff

[the-firebird69]

Was selling cars today 500, 000 septillion built today thus far we're opening more plants and selling more cars now when you open dealerships today and we sold so many cars that we can't put any on the lot so I think we're renovating you have some people out there renovating I'm going to bring accessories in you have a ton of those apparel that's a cool emblem to sign of it's a sign of opulence cuz you can get it first so you have some nice jackets and he suggests like a nice leather like a dress leather with an emblem so people are buying it she's got one like it she showed him already it's a huge thing I've seen it in the night in a whild. She tackles and he used to do that too and here she comes man I can't move so he said this is a fun though and it's going on right now the investigation into Trump and that day January 6th and it was him it was the problem boy cuz he was using his phone his voice there are people who said he was in the White House but no witnesses we haven't placed in the White House and outside it's what's going on.

The sun says at this point it's still the OJ Simpson trial and we agree

And it says your dog s*** for involving me you're far too stupid to be near me too and your act was horrendous absolutely horrendous and you investigate each other and reveal it to us and you get in a lot of trouble it's ridiculous and this guy is part of Babylon as well and inside Babylon those who look back on Friday the wall turned to stone and crushed it used to happen in the past

There's a whole bunch of assholes there he says dan provoked me just like you dumb f**** and he got killed and you keep doing it and you keep dying because you're not what you said you were you're not deceptive that much

So there's a lot going on these people are sitting there frying their own nuts and they don't understand until you said it's OJ Simpson trial and foreigners know it so they're invading to come kill you right now so I guess I told him and I told him everything I got them here I had them take your ships I was making your mouth moving a certain way certain words came out of it and told them stuff starting to say we're annoying him didn't think everything's fine no matter what there's a huge invasion for us coming their way very bad what up sunsets took and they got it from Lily she said where are they saying it can take over and grab anyone they want. They do have a system for pouring concrete in space and it makes the stone like concrete mix but as half as hard as ours but it doesn't have much air in it it's still as airing it they don't crack if in deep space but it would work if they get the concrete up there they can't make a huge chips out of it but still it would be a dangerous weapon even in their hands and for the shatteredome and that's what they plan to use

Doesn't qualify as something that could break thorium

This is going to go out and saying as soon as it's calling them poor boys I don't know if that makes sense to these idiots it's a good time right now you should know but you know maybe you're going to get killed off by Mr porker here or Mr beautiful the homo from New Jersey particular Frankenstein the Abby is spraying in you just to get close to me.

My son says made a monopoly made Tommy f the monopolizer and there's got to be a way for figuring out who did that

We say is the brain surgeries that happened in 1975 and yeah that's what it is it had an effect and it was cascading and they were more of it and more of it and more of it then you're idiots got a hold of me and my clan ducked up that's who it is what can you do you can't resist human nature Matt told him what they were going to do but that told him on purpose to get to the AI and to make other weapons and have George do stuff it's his fault he didn't control it lost control of the clan now he's pissing me off

That was her son and that's what they're doing it's a huge debacle and they keep doing it to him over and over like they did to the clan.

Now these shattered I'm going to be investigated by everyone of ours and foreigners are too that's why they're here they want to know is did you f****** and these robots are going to panic and drill huge bombs and threaten the human race when they're not us the answer is yeah we f***** up we don't have control over these things and we're trying to get it they're moving on it it's not working yet

Thor Freya

[mattygraygubler]

new girl 1 (spencer reid fic)

hi babies. so excited for this new fic. thanks for reading <3 

find my masterlist here, send me an ask to be added to this tag list or to request something, and find my read rec account here

word count: 5.1k 

warnings: smutty smut smut

AN: you can tell pretty easily that im totally projecting what i want my life to be like onto the reader, which i have a tendency to do. anyway here's some smut, and a little introduction to the story, which im super excited for. if ONE PERSON sends me an ask saying they want another chapter ill post it. 

I was the youngest partner at my firm to pass the bar exam at the ripe age of 20 years old. My friends all made fun of me, as back then I wasn’t old enough to go out to celebrate passing the bar.

Working for Henley & Associates was a blessing I loved. Being a criminal defense lawyer was amazing. Defending criminals sounds awful, but Henley & Associates did a massive amount of pro bono work, which is what drew me to the firm. Yes, I had to represent some awful people that were clearly guilty, but I also got to represent people who needed me, who were innocent and needed an amazing defense lawyer in their corner (one they couldn’t afford). But after years with the firm, I was beginning to get tired.

It started when I was 22 and first joined the firm. As a bright newcomer, I was given easy cases others didn’t want. I didn’t care, I was just ecstatic to be working in a world-renounced firm, and getting to do pro bono cases. Getting to help people made up for the times I had to defend people I didn’t think deserved to be defended. The rich ones. The Jeffrey Epsteins and OJs of the world.

And then, after a few years, right when I made partner, things changed. I got the cases that no one wanted. The worst, and richest, criminals. I was told it was because I was the best, that they requested me, but quickly I got tired. I was no longer doing pro bono cases; I was stuck defending awful people who I felt deserved to be in jail.

So at the age of 25, I secretly completed two doctorates, one in psychology, one in criminology, and by the time I was 27, I was ready to leave Henley and Associates.

Erin Strauss was a bitch if I ever met one, but I had tremendous respect for the woman. After just one interview she told me she would be more than happy to explore placing me on any team I wanted.

And I knew exactly which one I wanted: the BAU.

***

“But what if she doesn’t like us??” Penelope whined as she sat on Derek’s desk.

“Baby girl stop freaking out. Hotch says if she’s a bad fit, she doesn’t have to stay.”

“I don’t know about that.” JJ said joining the conversation in the bullpen.

“What do you mean?” Spencer asked.

“They refuse to tell anyone her name, but apparently she’s kind of a big deal. Strauss offered her a position in any department she wanted, and she wants us.” JJ replied.

“So you mean even if she’s horrible and awful and terrible she’s gonna stay on the team?”

“Penelope, she isn’t going to be any of those things.” Derek replied.

“Who is this lady if Strauss is literally giving her free reign over the FBI?” Emily asked.

“I have no idea, like I said, they’ve kept things extremely confidential. Rossi let it slip that all the interviews took place at night in undisclosed locations so her current employers wouldn’t find out she was leaving.” JJ said.

“What, is she some sort of celebrity?” Pen asked.

“What kind of celebrity becomes an FBI profiler?” Spencer asked.

“God, I wish I had something, a description, a name.” Penelope said. “I hate not knowing things, especially about my team.”

“I believe you mean my team, Garcia.” Hotch said as he walked into the bullpen. “Conference room, we’ve got to wrap up the Baltimore strangler case before we leave for the weekend.”

***

“Ok, it’s my big night I am NOT letting myself be privy to this kind of behavior!” I said with a laugh. It was my big night, and me and my closest friends were out at our favorite bar celebrating. It was a Friday night, so it was busy and the smell of alcohol and sweat filled the air.

“You are completely going to let yourself be privy to this behavior.” Jenna said with a push on my shoulder. Our favorite waitress came over with some shots “on the house” she said, thanks to my new job.

Yes, we were in our mid-20s, but that didn’t mean we didn’t still act like kids sometimes.

“Oh my LORD, do you see him?” Isabelle asked. I turned my attention to the door, where a group of people were walking in. The one at the front of the group was tall and bald, with chocolate skin and a dazzling smile.

“Dibs.” Katie said immediately.

“Hey!” I exclaimed. “If anyone should get dibs on the hottest guy in this bar, it’s me.” “I’ll made you a deal.” Katie said with a mischievous smirk. I knew what that look meant, and I hated it.

“Alright, what’s the deal.” I asked.

“You manage to get the moody nerd he’s with to smile, and I’ll give you my dibs.”

“What moody nerd?” I asked. I was too focused on the gorgeous man we originally saw to notice the rest of his group, which I now scanned. He was accompanied by three attractive women and another man. Actually, man may not be the right word.

“Oh my god, Katie, he doesn’t even look old enough to be in this bar!” I said.

“To be fair, neither do you.” Jenna said with a smirk. She was right, I did look much younger than I am. “C’mon, Y/N/N, he’s such a cutie. You could totally boss him around.” My friends all laughed at Jenna’s quip.

“Okay, deal. I gotta wait for my opportunity, though.” I said. We resumed our drinking and laughing at our high table, but I kept my eyes on the other group across the room. None of them seemed to be aware of the world around them, they were having just as much fun as everyone else in the bar.

Except the moody nerd. He looked like I felt when I was the only woman at the gym: scared, uncomfortable, defensive, and out of my element. How the HELL am I supposed to make this weirdo smile? Finally, after who knows how long (drinking really changes time, doesn’t it?) I saw my opportunity. The tall nerd stood up from the table and starting collecting empty glasses, clearly about to go to the bar for a refill.

“Brb-“ I said suddenly and walked briskly to the bar, hoping to beat him there. We arrived at the same time, and I purposefully stood at the opposite side of the bar so if he looked across he would see me.  

“Y/N, gorgeous, what can I get you?” Hank asked with a charming grin.

“You already know, Hank.” I said and returned the smile. “And whatever the tall guy over there is having.” I replied.

“The one with the curly hair?” I nodded, and Hank replied with a chuckle. “He’s not normally the type of guy you pick up…”

“I’m aware. In order to steal dibs from Katie on the gorgeous man he came with, first I have to make that weirdo smile.” Hank just laughed and shook his head as he walked away to get the drinks.

He brought me mine and I began to move the straw around in a circle. I was aware of everything happening around me, but I pretended to be engrossed in my drink. I felt a man come up behind me and I silently thanked God. This was exactly what I needed.

“Hey sexy, how are you doing tonight?” The man slurred. I turned to him and smiled, leaning in and portraying positive body language that indicated that I was interested in this new suitor. I could feel the other man’s eyes on me, no doubt Hank had just given him the drink I paid for and pointed me out.

Only for this frat man to come up and speak to me. Once I knew the cute nerd was watching me, I changed my body language. This new guy was clearly a retired frat boy who was way too drunk to make any sense. He started to move closer and I didn’t have to pretend I was uncomfortable.

Hank came over and accidentally spilled on the guy, causing him to get angry and huff away. I thanked him, going back to my drink when I felt a new presence beside me.

“Uhm…” The person said and cleared their voice. “Th-thank you for the drink, I really appreciate it.” I looked up at him and smiled.

From afar, he does seem to be a bit of a moody, skinny nerd. But up close, I couldn’t deny how attractive he was. He was at least 6’ tall, and at 5’4” I was immediately turned on by his slightly dominating presence. He was well dressed, had a jawline that could cut me, and hair messy but in a purposeful way. It was curly and framed his face and I felt myself imagine running my fingers through it.

Maybe I had too much to drink.

“I’m Y/N,” I said and smiled.

“Spencer.” He replied with a nod.

“Do you like to dance, Spencer?” I asked. I think I already knew the answer.

“Uhm, actually, I’m not all that--“ I laughed, cutting him off.

“I guess I should’ve phrased that differently.” I said. “Dance with me, Spencer.” I pulled him onto the dance floor and could tell he was mortified. I took his hands in mine and placed them on my hips and I started to move back and forth in time to the music. I saw him look at his feet, but pretty soon he was loosening up and moving more easily.

“So, uhm, what do you do?” He asked, trying to keep the conversation going despite the loud music. I moved my body closer to him, pressing myself against him and leaning up to whisper in his ear, a trick I know turned on nearly every guy on the planet.

“You don’t care what I do, and I don’t care what you do. In fact, I don’t even want to know your last name.” He froze and stopped moving, but I moved my hand to the back of his neck, getting more leverage.

“You wanna know what I do know, Spencer?” I saw him gulp and nod and I moved closer so he could still feel my hot breath on his neck.

“I know that you’ve been trying to hide the fact that I turn you on. I know that the second I pulled you onto this dance floor you noticed I wasn’t wearing panties. And I know the second I walk out of this bar, you’re gonna follow me, and we’re gonna have an unforgettable night.” I pulled away and looked at the stunned look on his face.

I grinned and turned around, walking back to my table, leaving him standing alone on the dance floor, surrounded by sweaty, writhing bodies.

“You can keep your dibs, Katie.” I said when I got back to my table. My friends laughed and whooped as I grabbed my phone and wallet and walked to the door. “See you guys tomorrow!”

***

Spencer quickly dodged and weaved his way through the crowd.

“Uhm, Morgan, can I talk to you?” He asked quickly. Morgan realized something was wrong and stood up as Spencer pulled him to the side. “A beautiful woman asked me to go home with her.” He said. Derek just laughed, realizing that nothing was actually wrong with Spencer.

“Alright, good for you kid!” He said and punched Spencer on the shoulder.

“I think I’m gonna go with her.” Reid responded.

“Good!” Morgan said. Spencer saw Y/N pass their table and was relieved that Garcia, Emily, and JJ didn’t notice her.

“There she goes now.” Spencer said and watched as Y/N approached the door. Derek turned, but was only able to see her hips sway as she walked.

“Damn.” He said. “If her front is at hot as her back, I’ll fight you for her.” He said with a laugh. Spencer just looked terrified. “Reid, I’m kidding. Go get her!”  

***

I began to walk down the DC street when I heard footsteps jog to catch up to me. I knew I must’ve been drunker than I realized, as it was hard to walk in a straight line and I wasn’t cold in the October breeze.

Spencer fell into step and walked next to me.

“I live right up here,” I said, pointing to the apartment building on the corner. It truly was a blessing living a block away from such a great bar. He nodded, and I could tell he was nervous as he kept fidgeting.

We approached my building and it wasn’t long before I was unlocking the door and tossing my keys on the counter.

“Alexa, weekend night lights on please.” Immediately the LED lights that were strung around my apartment turned on, on a low, soft orange color. “Make yourself at home.” I said and walked into the kitchen to grab a bottle of wine and two glasses.

I came back to the living room to find Spencer squatting/kneeling next to my record player, picking an old Al Green album and putting it on.

“Good choice,” I replied as I poured the wine. He came over and I handed him a glass. Without my heels, our height difference was even more noticeable.

“Drink up,” I said with a wink. “You are much more sober than I am, and clearly that needs to change.”

“Is that so?” Spencer replied as he took a sip. “And why are you trying to get me drunk?”

“Alcohol raises the levels of GABA, which is a chemical neurotransmitter in our brain. It’s obvious I make you nervous, the more you drink, the more your blood pressure and heart rate come down and dopamine levels go up, physically making you less nervous.” I said.

My eyes widened the second I realized I had just had what my friends referred to as an “Y/N moment”.

“Sorry, I just… Can we forget I didn’t just ruin the mood with some stupid science facts.” I said, my hands shaking a bit. I was used to guys being intimidated by my intelligence, and this guy was cute. I didn’t wanna lose what could be a great night.

Immediately the dynamic between us changed. I was used to being the dominant one, but now that I was embarrassed, I no longer had the upper hand. My rambling seemed to cause a change in Spencer. He seemed to stand up straighter, his hands weren’t shaking, and his jawline was hard and sexy.

“So tell me this then.” Spencer said and took a step closer, lowering the distance between us. “Since you’re drinking too, should I assume that I make you nervous as well?”

This man was completely different than the one I had met in the bar. His voice was lowered and raspy, his eyes staring into mine, not bothering to break eye contact. I was shocked at the difference. Already turned on by him before, this change just made things even hotter.

“Uhm…” I said, putting down my wine glass to avoid looking at or answering him.

He took my chin in his hands, forcing my head up to look at him. “I do make you nervous, don’t I, Y/N?” He asked in that low, sexy voice.

“Uhm-“ “Uhm isn’t an answer.” He said forcefully. “What do you want?” He asked.

“I…”

“Y/N, look at me.” He said, moving his body as close as he could without pressing it against me and putting his large hands on the side of my waist.

He leaned down to whisper in my ear, “What do you want?” I looked up at him, eyes wide.

“You.” I breathed out, barely a whisper. That was all it took. Spencer quickly moved his hands from my waist to behind my thighs, picking me up and slamming my back against the wall. He connected our lips, moving in a quick dance. I felt like I was inhaling him, his scent, the way his mouth tasted, the way his hands moved on my body.

He moved to kiss my neck, sucking and biting and making his way toward my chest as I gasped. “Bedroom,” I said. “Please.” Pleading was apparently a turn on for Spencer, as he continued to pick me up, holding my body against him as he found his way into the bedroom.

He tossed me onto the bed, and I grabbed the remote for the LED lights, turning them onto a dark red. Spencer climbed on top of me, connecting our lips once more. He started to push my dress up and I could tell immediately what he wanted. I tried to pull his shirt off, but couldn’t focus enough to get it off. I whimpered and my head fell back as he ran a hand from my knee up my thigh, stopping right before he got where I wanted him.

“Please,” I breathed, tugged on his shirt. He got up from on top of me to kneel and pulled his shirt off in one quick, sexy motion. He pulled my dress up further over my head and I was acutely aware of the fact that I was completely naked and Spencer was staring at my body.

“Holy fuck,” he said under his breath, staring at me like a starving man stares at a delicious meal. I wanted him to ravish me, and I could tell that’s exactly what he wanted.

“Spencer,” I whined as his hands started to move slowly up and down my thighs. “Please,” I begged. His eyes were dark, and we didn’t break eye contact as he shifted positions so his face was right in front of my dripping pussy. I could feel his hot breath and I squirmed, grabbing at any part of him I could reach, trying to get him to touch me in any way.

“Someone’s eager,” he said. He finally broke eye contact, now staring at my pussy. He moved closer and slowly put his tongue on me, moving slowly up and down my slit, barely touching me. It was enough for me to whine again, and close my eyes instinctively.

I grabbed his hair, trying to pull his face closer to me. I squirmed, but he continued to tease me, barely letting his tongue touch me.

“Please Spencer please,” I begged and pulled his hair harder. He kept his tongue barely touching me, but grabbed my wrists with his strong hands. He placed them on the bed beside me, allowing me to grab onto the sheets beneath us.

He spread my legs and knees so I was fully exposed to him. He was no longer teasing me with his tongue, but staring at my pussy again.

“If you move your hands or your legs, I’m gonna stop and start over. Understood?” He said. I nodded.

“I can’t hear you.” He said.

“Yes, I understand.” I breathed out. He gave me a smirk and didn’t break eye contact as he connected his tongue with my throbbing pussy. Immediately I moaned and couldn’t help but move one of my hands, grabbing out for him.

He pulled away. I whimpered once again.

“What did I tell you?” Spencer growled and put my hand back. “Don’t. Move.” He went back to eating me out, starting slow and focusing on swirling and sucking on my clit. I started breathing heavily, in total bliss. Never did I expect this man to have such an amazing tongue. He started to go faster and my legs started to snap shut.

Spencer stopped again, fixed my legs, and started from the beginning, slowly licking my pussy. I squirmed and bucked my hips, doing anything I could to get more connection from him on me.

He continued this pattern, edging me with just his tongue, starting over every time I moved too much.

“Please, Spencer, please.” I said. “More.” I felt him grin against my pussy.

“What was that?” he asked, pulling away slightly.

“More, Spencer, I need more, please.” He continued to eat me out, faster and faster, my head falling back onto the pillow. I got closer and closer to the edge when I felt him slowly insert one long finger into me, sliding it slowly in and out as he continued to eat me out. I gasped and couldn’t help but reach out for him.

“Uh uh uh,” he said and shook his head. “Do you like being a bad girl? Do you like being teased?” He asked. He was no longer eating me out, but I felt his finger slowly curl inside me, eliciting a moan from my mouth.

“Please Spencer,” I said quietly. “I’m so close to the edge, please, can I please cum?” He gave me another devilish grin. He slid another finger into me, which I guess was his answer.

His tongue was still swirling on my clit as his two fingers began to curl inside me. I tried to keep my legs and arms where he wanted them, but I could feel my entire body shaking from the orgasm I was about to have.

Right as I was about to tumble over the edge, I gasped as Spencer pulled out his fingers and backed his face away. I whimpered once again.

“Baby,” I said and pulled him up to me so I could kiss him. “That’s not fair.” I whined with a smirk.

He was still wearing his pants, and I could see his erection pushing again the fabric. “You like teasing me?” I asked and kissed his neck. He groaned in response, turning me on even more.

“I could’ve made you cum ten times by now,” he growled in my ear.

“Then why didn’t you?” I asked between kisses down his jawline.

“I think you already know the answer.” He said with a smirk, his brown curls falling into his face.

“Spencer,” I whispered in his ear. “Flip us over.”

Spencer obviously didn’t need to be told twice. Immediately his arms were around me and flipped us over so he was on his back and I was lying on top of him.

I knelt on the bed and drunkenly fumbled with the belt buckle on his pants. I could feel his chest shake with quiet laughter as I struggled with his belt.

“You’re not as dominant as you pretend you are,” Spencer commented and grabbed my hands and pulled me up to kiss him. I ran my hands down his chest back to the pants that were now gone. I pulled off his boxers, revealed an erection I was not expecting.

Spencer was hung.

He saw my eyes widen and I felt him chuckle again.

“See something you like?” He asked me. I slowly squinted at him, a playful smirk on my lips.

“Maybe…” I said. I grabbed his dick in one hand, wiping the precum down his shaft and putting just the tip in my mouth. I began to swirl my tongue, not moving my hands.

“Fuck, Y/N,” Spencer said and started to pull my hair. I whimpered and started to suck harder, my hand and mouth moving on their own.

I’ve given head plenty of times before, but watching Spencer’s naked frame get so much pleasure from something I was doing… He looked like a Greek statue, so chiseled and pristine, but powerful. Powerful was not what I thought when I first met him.

I continued to stare at him every chance I got, sucking and moving my tongue trying to find what brought him the most pleasure. A string of cusses left his mouth and his grip on my hair tightened.

“Fuck, Y/N, I’m gonna cum,” he said. I slowed down my movements, eventually ending the way I started, sucking and swirling on the tip, teasing him the way he teased me.

“Did you… Did you just edge me?” Spencer asked, his eyes staring into mine. I smirked, my eyes glinting as I winked at him.

“You pushed me to the edge nearly seven times. I felt like I needed to return the favor.” “Get over here,” he said and sat up, pulling me on him so I was straddling him. “Ride me, baby girl.” I began to kiss his neck as his teased me by rubbing his cock up and down my folds. I bit his neck right as he put his dick all the way in, bucking up his hips to meet me. I gasped, moaning in pleasure.

“Oh fuck Spence,” I said, not even realizing I had called him by a nickname. He played with my nipples in his fingers as he kissed me, my hands looped around his neck to give me leverage as I moved up and down.

Because of the edging, it didn’t take long for us to reach the edge, thankfully together.

“FUCK, Spencer, right there, please, please,” I said as his dick repeatedly hit my g-spot, making me cum. My juices dripped down his cock as he continued to slam into me. My entire body was shaking with pleasure as Spencer fucked me through my orgasm, his occurring almost immediately after as my pussy tightened around him from my orgasm.

He continued to thrust slowly as we came down, eventually collapsing beside one another, out of breath and tingling from the massive orgasms.

It was just a few minutes when I got up from my bed. I wasn’t ashamed of being naked. I found Spencer’s clothes on the floor and tossed them to him. He was sitting on my bed naked, leaning against the headboard with his hands interlaced behind his head, his muscles flexing ever so slightly and accidentally.

I wanted to ride him again, but I knew it was late and I had to be up early on Saturdays.

“I’m going in the shower.” I said curtly, not bothering to look at him as I walked to the bathroom. When I got to the doorway, I turned back to look at him.

“When I get out, you better be gone. Don’t leave any personal contact info, I’ll burn it. Oh, and there are cameras hidden all over the apartment so don’t even try to rob me.” I shut the bathroom door, loud enough to make a point, but not a slam.

***

What kind of person has cameras all over her apartment? Spencer asked himself.

As he pulled on his clothes, he looked around at the bedroom, taking into stock the different possessions, still ever the profiler, even intoxicated. He was finding it hard to focus, he normally barely drank, but somehow this bubbling, impulsive, beautiful girl had not only managed to get him drunk, she managed to get him into bed, which was a massively impressive feat.

Spencer heard the shower turning off, muttered ‘shit’ under his breath and began to walk to the door, making sure he had his wallet, keys, and phone.

The second he got outside, he called an uber (as the metro was no longer operating it was so late). Once he got in the car, he dialed up Derek, knowing that he was probably just finished with a similar night, aka his regular Friday routine.

“Morgan,” Reid said, still out of breath.

“Woah kid, what’d you do, run a marathon?” “Morgan, this girl… She’s amazing.” “Amazing? Damn you really haven’t gotten laid in a while.”

“No, Derek, I’m serious.” Spencer said. “She had a worn out copy of ‘Brave New World’ on her bedside table—”

“Reid, talk slower.” Derek said. “You’re still drunk and I can’t understand you.”

“Sorry,” Spencer said.

“So when are you seeing her again?” Derek asked.

“I’m not.” “You’re NOT?” Derek said, raising his voice.

“She didn’t want to. She didn’t tell me her last name, her age, what she did for a living. All I got was a first name.” “Which is?” Derek asked.

“I kinda wanna keep it a secret. Tonight was amazing and… I don’t want to tamper with the memory by sharing all the details. Does that even make sense?” Spencer asked. Derek laughed, confirming he understood.

“Reid, you’re a profiler. You were in this girls apartment, and in this girl, for hours.” Spencer coughed when he heard the ‘inside this girl’ quip, but Derek just continued. “You must’ve seen something that could help you find her.” “I kinda don’t want to.”

“Why not?”

“Tonight, she just seemed like… The perfect woman. I know that sounds stupid but that’s how it felt. Maybe it’s just me not getting laid in a while, like you said.” “Well, good job on your first one night stand, pretty boy!” “Hey!” Spencer said. “How’d you know it was my first one night stand?” “I’m a profiler, too, kid. I’m going to bed, see you Monday.”

“See you.” Spencer said and hung up the phone right as the uber pulled in front of his apartment building.

He took off his clothes once more, collapsing on his bed in just his boxers. It was rare that the team got a full weekend off, and Spencer wanted to take advantage of it.

He spent all of Saturday in bed, reading, using his eidetic memory of Friday night’s events as he pleasured himself. His thoughts came back to the girl over and over, the way her body felt, her soft skin, the way her hair tickled him as she kissed his neck.

And when he had finished, his memory brought up other tiny details he didn’t think he remembered. Spencer’s unconscious mind had managed to soak up more information than he thought, and he spent Saturday night dreaming not only of the girl’s body, but of everything else he learned about her as well.

Every time he closed his eyes he saw her smiling face from the bar, the first time she smiled at him.

Sunday morning Spencer was sober enough to put together more details. He remembered the bottle of wine they drank, and remembered the movies in her cabinet. One French filmed piqued his interest as he was hurriedly leaving, it was a movie he hadn’t seen before.

He rented it, spending a lazy Sunday alone on his couch, snacking and watching every movie from her shelf that he hadn’t seen.

***

Monday morning came too fast for the team. They had a whole weekend off, of course they took full advantage of it, walking into the conference room like zombies holding coffee.

“She’s coming today,” Garcia said, reminding everyone. Of course they already remembered.

“Baby girl, relax, I’m sure she’s great.” Derek responded, holding her hand comfortingly.

“Look alive, people,” Hotch said as he walked in the room. “We’ve got our new member joining us today, JJ, what’ve we got?” JJ began to explain the new case, and immediately thoughts of the new girl left the minds of the team. Until there was a curt knock on the door.

“Come in,” Hotch said. Strauss opened the door, stepping inside.

“BAU,” Strauss said. “Meet your new member, Y/N Y/L/N.”

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