#i still feel so fucking grateful for everything i have right now compared what a mess it was just few months ago

[misslavenderlady]

Everything's Alright 💙

Paul/GN!Reader

Summary: Life has been taking quite the toll on you lately, and your sweet boyfriend has definitely noticed how stressed you are. Luckily, he's got a little trick to help you relax and forget all your worries.

Thank you to the anon that put in this writing request! This story is SFW fluff. Please enjoy!

WARNINGS: Hypnosis, Dumbification

Life was getting pretty hectic for you. Actually, no. That wasn't right. Life was hell for you. 

Responsibilities, personal problems, deteriorating mental health. It was all that and much more. It had gotten to a point where it felt like the weight of the world was on your shoulders. Everything was just hitting you all at once with no sign of a break in sight. 

People told you all the time to be grateful for the good things you had. Food in your fridge, clothes on your back, a roof over your head. Some people don't even have that, they'd remind you. Gratitude was something you had made a habit of practicing often. 

But that didn't take away from the fact that you were completely burned out. You felt anxious and overwhelmed by everything. If someone were to ask you just the smallest question, you’d get frazzled. This really wasn’t like you, and it was insufferable. 

What made it worse was how much you bottled up these feelings. You didn’t want your boys getting worried about you. You spent almost every night with your boyfriend, Paul, and the three other Lost Boys you called your friends. They never had a care in the world. Always feeling adventurous and bold, there was never a dull moment with them.

The last thing you wanted to do was spoil the fun. So you acted like nothing was wrong. Put on a smile and acted as laid back as possible about everything. Meanwhile, your head was full of stress. 

You thought you had fooled the others, but little did you know, Paul was the one who noticed something was off. Along with being a total goofball, he was also an empath. He knew whenever someone in the pack was feeling down, and always did his best to cheer him up. The others compared him to a puppy most of the time because he was loyal and loving and very snuggly when someone needed a bit of extra love.

So while the others went out for their hunt together, Paul decided to stick around the cave. You had been pacing back and forth in one of the corners for a while now, chewing your nail and mentally thinking about all the stuff you still hadn’t taken care of. Some errands here, work stuff there, it all added up and you had no idea how to take your mind off of it. 

Paul could see it clear as day. He pouted from his spot on the broken fountain. No partner of his should have to struggle with all this.

“Hey sugar,” he called over to you. “You feelin’ alright over there?”

For a brief moment, you were able to snap out of the whirlwind of worries swirling in your head. You put on your best smile, masking the tense feelings you were actually experiencing. 

“Y-Yeah, Paulie!” you chirped. “I’m okay! Just taking care of some stuff before we hang out!”

You thought you had done a decent job of hiding your true emotions, but the look on Paul’s face told you the opposite. He frowned back at you, eyebrows turned up and pretty, blue eyes wide with concern as he got up from his spot. Your heart was pounding so hard in your chest that it almost hurt. 

“Baby, that’s not true,” he pouted. “I can hear what’s going on in your head, remember?”

Fuck. You actually hadn’t remembered that. The others had promised to keep out of your head with their mind-reading powers, but if you were truly in a bad mood, they took a peak just to see if there was something they could do to help. You wished they didn’t do that. The last thing you wanted was to concern them. 

“I can’t even hear any clear thoughts. All I get from your head is nonsense and worries overlapping. It’s almost like your brain is screaming”

It wasn’t a pretty image to think of, but if you were being honest, that was the exact thing going on with you at that moment. 

There wasn’t any hiding from a vampire, and as a human with no way to block him out, all you could do was give up. You let your sweet smile fall, the true look of stress painting over your face while your body slumped over. At that point you had been so exhausted, it was starting to affect your physical energy. You were so very tired, and as Paul made his way over to you, he could see that quite easily. 

“I…I’m sorry…” you sighed. “I didn’t want to ruin the mood with how I was feeling…”

The vampire moved from his spot and quickly made his way over to you. Always ready to show affection, he held out his arms to pull you in for a big hug. As much as you didn’t like admitting something was wrong, you could never pass up a loving embrace from Paul. You practically melted into his arms, coming undone as he held you and stroked your hair. 

After some gentle encouragement, you finally admitted what was going on with you. For several minutes you vented about all the things going on in your life and how stressed you were. It had gotten so bad that your mental struggle was taking a toll on your physical health. You felt sick, had headaches, and could barely focus. 

All the while, Paul listened carefully. The others teased him about not being the brightest or being a total goof most of the time, but Paul was a lot wiser than they gave him credit for. He knew to not interrupt your thoughts or disregard your feelings. If anything, he understood them best. You were going through a lot of struggling, and he was going to do whatever he could to help make it better.

“That sounds like a lot to go through, baby,” he cooed, stroking your cheek with his thumb. You hadn’t even realized you started crying during the conversation. “There’s no way I can make all those problems go away…..but I think I know something that’ll help get rid of the stress”

“I appreciate the offer, Paulie, but I’m not in the mood to get high right now,” you smiled softly, leaning into his touch more.

He giggled, amused by your assumption. Rolling up a joint and lounging on the couch was certainly his go-to method for making any stress fade away. But that wasn’t what he had in mind for this particular problem.

“Nah, it’s not that. I have something a little….stronger”

Now you were feeling extra curious. When you tilted your head in confusion, his grin widened. He absolutely adored that look in your eye when something intrigued you.

“Y’know how my brothers and I have the power of hypnosis? Well, we don’t just use it to confuse people or get them to do what we want. We can also use it to relax those we use it on. It kinda…makes them go a bit dumb and woozy, but in like the best way possible”

“Soooo…I’ll just have my brain turned off?” you asked.

“That’s the best way I can describe it. You’ll be totally calm and chill, and it’ll be a really good break for your brain. No more worries freaking you out”

It was quite the offer. On the one hand, you realized how scary it could be to let a vampire have complete control over your mind. In any other situation, you’d be terrified of what could be done to you if you lost control and had no sense of control. But on the other hand, this wasn’t some random monster trying to hurt you. This was Paul. The love of your life. He would do anything to keep you safe. 

Looking in his baby blues allowed you to truly see how much he cared. He was so kind to you. Always a sweetheart who wanted the best. Never once did you see a monster when you looked at him. You only saw a piece of your heart. 

So you trusted him. With a nod, you silently granted him permission to use his powers on you. 

“Okay. Just keep your eyes on me, baby”

Paul placed his hands on either side of your face, carefully holding you as if you were made of glass. So very fragile in his powerful grasp. With your eyes locked on his, you watched as the blue color faded away, the burn of yellow and red taking its place.

It was all so sudden. Your brain did in fact feel like it was turned off. 

Without any hesitation, Paul slowly pulled out any negative thoughts going on in your mind. Everything you had been obsessing over for days and weeks became fuzzier until there was nothing left to think about. The fears and the sadness faded away, leaving an overall sensation of calm. Your body itself was physically relaxing too. Every tense spot in your muscles and bones went loose. 

“That’s it, sugar. Let me take care of you. No more pesky thoughts in that cute head. Just relax and it’ll all be better~”

A smile stretched across your face as you sunk more into Paul’s grip. You couldn’t even remember what you had been so upset about before. The way he returned the expression told you he felt the same way.

Before you knew it, you were a dopey little version of yourself, feeling giggly and light-headed and extra snuggly. You fell into Paul’s arms, as your legs felt too wobbly to hold you up. He was clearly enjoying this version of you. 

“See? Nothing to keep you down anymore, baby. You can just chill and not worry about a thing~”

He scooped you up in his arms, holding you close to his strong chest as he carried you to your room. As long as you were taking the time to get some relaxation, he would make absolutely certain your feet wouldn’t touch the ground.

While he walked, you got a little handsy with him. You giggled playfully as you played with the hair on his chest and nuzzled into the side of his neck, kissing the sensitive spots you knew made him feel frisky. In the hazy cloud of your mind, you still felt the urge to make him feel good too. 

But that wasn’t what Paul had in mind. He tutted softly as he set you down on your bed.

“No no, baby. No sex right now,” he shushed you. “I’m not gonna do that while you’re all loopy. You need rest”

The control he had over your mind made it sound like he was speaking to you from a far distance. You heard it, but it was still faded. Still, you understood and nodded, gazing up at him with big doe eyes as he helped pick out comfier clothes. Once you were ready, he peeled back the massive pile of blankets you had accumulated after moving in with the boys. 

You immediately started nuzzling against the comfy bed and pillows. It was already a cozy spot for you, but now with your mind calmed down, all the nice sensations felt ten times stronger. You couldn’t stop smiling, and that pleased Paul. 

“There we go. All better now. Lemme get in there with you and we can just nap for a while. Sound good, sugar?”

You couldn’t even form words. It was as if you went completely dumb, unable to properly use your voice. All you could do was nod happily, agreeing with the idea of sleeping with Paul by your side. With your arms reaching out to him, he slipped into bed and pulled you close for a hug. 

Warm, fuzzy feelings filled your entire body. You could certainly get used to something like this. Letting Paul care for you and turn your brain off when life got to be too much. The way he held you in his arms and stroked you gently made you feel completely safe. Nothing was going to hurt you or keep you down. Not while he was there.

So while you faded into a deep sleep, he whispered his sweet nothings in your ear.

“It’s okay, baby. My little love. Everything’s alright~”

#the lost boys #tlb #paul the lost boys #my fic #reader insert #paul x reader #gn reader

[hollowtones]

i can't find the vods for the rest of your endwalker playthrough (if you even did stream the rest) so i was wondering, what were your opinions on 6.0? (also what were your reactions to That urianger scene)

I think I only did like one or two streams of it. It ran kinda bad when I streamed it, people didn't want to watch it, and I wasn't getting much out of streaming it compared to just playing it on my own time. That and I think I had a really severe depressive episode at the time (for unrelated reasons).

IDK if anyone's still trying to avoid spoilers but I'll throw it under a read-more.

It's been a while since I last played so my memory's kind of spotty. I liked it, though. It felt like a satisfying conclusion to what they've been getting at since 2.0 MSQ, and a nice little dialogue on despair and exhaustion and depression and hope, and finding ways to carry on and keep living and keep loving and keep trying. I feel like that's when the game's overall writing and theming tends to be at its strongest (yes I liked the Dark Knight questlines haha).

I remember having mixed feelings about how they pulled off the Garlemald segment & the "Alphinaud and Alisaie's shit head dad" plotline but I don't remember enough of the specifics to really elaborate on that.

Alisaie has lesbian college admirers and I thought that was funny.

I came out of 5.5 MSQ expecting White Woman Jumpscare Hydaelyn to be a little trite but I ended up really liking Venat. I felt kinda whatever about Emet-Selch coming back, but I didn't hate what they did with him I guess, and his earless-Viera boy toy was fun. Fandaniel felt like The Joker but he still felt like a fine first-act villain. The way they write him (& Meteion) in the later chunk of the game felt more interesting to me, & felt like a fun play on "Shadowbringers"-era Emet-Selch's whole "AMAUROT, BABY! GREATEST CITY IN DA WORLD, BABY! SLIMES ALL OVER DA STREET, BABY!" nostalgia. It was funny when he was The Joker, though.

Final area was thematically and visually really interesting. I'm excited we got more stuff related to Omega & I'm glad we got more "btw the dragons are aliens" stuff. I've seen a lot of people forget about that, for whatever reason. That one area right by the end that was completely desolate, with no people & no indication of who lived there, was a really good setpiece. The Namazu canonically suffer in all possible dimensions and all possible worlds and you cannot help but laugh out loud.

I kind of rolled my eyes at Zenos coming back. "By the way he's a Reaper now" felt like it amounted to nothing, but admittedly I never did the Reaper questline or the post-6.0 stuff. Getting to punch him in the face at the end was fun.

Music was good, I liked the way they played with different motifs & I really like how that comes to a head in the final boss fight.

I was expecting moon rabbits to be grating and insufferable but I liked them. I fucking love that none of this planet's moons are normal. Why are they both orbital prison-ships. I love it.

Zodiark's design owned and Hydaelyn's design was okay. Very Yoshitaka Amano design, which makes sense given how he did that one boxart for "A Realm Reborn" & she looks a lot like she does there, but I kinda wish she got to look more monstrous and weird. She kept talking up becoming a monster to do what she felt was right!!! I wish that had informed her design a little more.

Hamburgers exist & I do like that the animators got to livingly render G'raha Tia going to town on one like those weird clips of anime girls where it looks like they've never eaten in their lives.

I don't remember what you mean by "the Urianger scene". LOL

You didn't ask, but the crafting/gathering questlines were a lot of fun. I feel like they (& the guildleves) added some fun extra context to everything going on while I was going through the MSQ.

I liked it overall. I don't think it's the highest point of the game's writing, but I had a good time and felt very satisfied by the time it came to a close.

#Also the dog is really funny.

[callsign-bunnie]

Drowning without you PT 1

Graves is revealed to be alive the same day that Rodolfo goes missing. Alejandro immediately sets ghost to find him. Alejandro doesn't know what to do with himself if Rodolfo dies. He's the the closest friend he has. He's even more than that, to him. Losing Rodolfo would be worse than death.

Look, I’m a better writer than I am at making descriptions.

TW: Graphic violence, explosive character, mentions of torture.

Alejandro reasonably knew that Ghost would find Rodolfo. Ghost was a fantastic tracker. Alejandro had seen it many times. But… The back of his mind was screaming that he never would.

Alejandro had been doing his best to track him down on his own, but he knew Ghost would find him first. He knew this.

“Fuck!” He growled and threw his pen across the room, running his hand through his hair.

Kate Laswell, who had been patiently waiting for Alejandro to finish signing a few reports, barely flinched. “Ghost will find him, Alejandro. You don’t need to worry.”

“My best friend is God knows where, having God knows what done to him, and you expect me to not be worried??” He shook his head, leaning back- well more like throwing himself back in his chair. “What if it was your wife missing? Would you just not worry?”

He hoped she wouldn’t question that his first instinct was to compare Rudy to her wife, not Price, her best friend. Fortunately, she hardly seemed fazed. Instead, she sighed and relaxed her shoulders, uncrossing her legs. “You’re right, Colonel. I would be pulling every string aside from Ghost. Probably just as manically as you are.”

“Don’t lecture me to not be worried.” He turned in his chair to look at the window, gripping the arm rests before bringing his hand up to bite at a spot on his finger, a habit he’d developed in his teens to keep himself from saying things he didn’t mean. Kate was one of the few he was comfortable with doing it around.

“I knew, when we discovered Graves was alive, that I needed to be careful. To… hold everyone close but-” He pressed his fingers to his forehead. “I thought he would be… weak. Defenseless without any team. I didn’t expect him to be so fucking charismatic that he manages to pull together a whole fucking- Why Rudy?”

Laswell tilted her head to one side. “Alejandro, if you do not mind, perhaps I can look at it from a logical perspective?”

Alejandro waved his hand. “If you feel like it.” He muttered, sure he would only half listen.

“Well, I can look at this through a few lenses. Graves is not in charge of the cartel he managed to convince to help him take you down. Now, Soap and Rodolfo were the ones who tried to kill him. Not to speculate on Ghost’s feelings towards anything, only Ghost can truly know his own feelings, but I feel Graves perhaps thought it would be… dangerous to take Soap. It’s fairly obvious Ghost’s partial to Soap.” Laswell stood and moved to the window that Alejandro was staring out, watching the recruits in the training field do drills. “Besides that, he would have access to Gaz’s file. The kid passed his RTI training with flying colors. He knows holding onto him would be too difficult. And would prove worthless, in the end. With Shepherd taken down, Price is too important to the British Army.”

“Well, that leaves a few people. I never leave the base. Your friend Valeria is… too unreliable to cause havoc. And Ghost is… well, I think you can understand why he was not an option.” She put her hands behind her back, picking at her nails.

“That just leaves Rodolfo.” Alejandro muttered. Laswell was right. Alejandro was still suffering from the havoc caused by Shepherd’s betrayal. It had led to an easier time cleaning up the Las Almas Cartel, but he was still cleaning it up. Thankfully, Britain had sent a few more troops to help, for the trouble.

Likely a desperate “hey please don’t retaliate for this one fuck up” courtesy. Alejandro was grateful, so he had done his best to aid in smoothing things over.

“But, Graves had to know I would turn everything over to find him.” Alejandro straightened in his seat a little, his spine starting to hurt. He was getting old, though just barely pressing on it. Couldn’t sink his shoulders down for too long, anymore without risk of spine damage, apparently. Rodolfo had always been careful in reminding him to sit up when he noticed. Alejandro always pretended to be irritated but he was grateful. “Or that I would employ Ghost. Who, I hope, is turning every stone just as he would for Soap.”

It was an unspoken agreement amongst the 141 crew and Alejandro and Rodolfo to just… not mention anytime Ghost and Soap stared at each other. Or stood too close. But, it didn’t mean it went unacknowledged.

“I don’t think Graves was counting on Ghost actually caring enough to help you. Ghost has a reputation. Graves is… calculated.” Laswell shrugged. “Calculations do not account for organic factors. Or… missing facts.”

“If Soap had been taken, Ghost would have found Rodolfo by now.” Alejandro went back to glaring out the window. He couldn’t help but feel bitter.

“No. Trust that Ghost is putting in the same amount of effort and skill as he would for Soap. Or… anyone else.” She added, trying to likely give Ghost the benefit of the doubt. Laswell was like that.

Alejandro just fell silent. If he talked anymore, he would start to scream. And he couldn’t keep screaming.

Laswell turned to him, giving him a sympathetic smile. “Not hearing from Ghost is good news. When he finds him, you will be the first to know.”

Alejandro grunted, doing his best to appear hopeful, but knowing it fell flat. He turned back to his desk, and pulled another pen out, signing the last report. “I feel we use you as a glorified paper runner.”

“I like walking around. Trust me, Alejandro, I wouldn’t if I minded. I find it hard to make myself do things I don’t find pleasant.” Laswell shrugged. “Unless they’re necessary.” She added and then picked up the small stack, sliding them into a manilla envelope to keep them together. “Ghost keeps his radio on. I don’t know if he’ll answer but you can always try to ask him for updates.”

“That is a dangerous can to open, Laswell.” Alejandro shook his head. “I know myself. I will start to ask every ten minutes and he’ll kill me. I may not fear Ghost much, but I keep a healthy… anxiety in my heart towards him.”

“Wise man, Alejandro.”

Alejandro only grunted and turned to the window again. Once Laswell left, the fear retained it’s grip on Alejandro’s heart, squeezing all the blood from it like a wet rag.

He dug his nails into the armrest of the chair, biting back a scream of frustration. He couldn’t stay in this room anymore. He would go insane. He took a deep breath, standing up and leaving.

He walked through the halls, going to the command room. Gaz was on a radio, probably on the current round to monitor Ghost. He went to him, watching his screen.

It was just a map of Mexico where Gaz would input Ghost’s locations and potential points of interest. “Any news?” Alejandro asked, holding his breath without meaning to.

“Nothing… big.” Gaz winced, causing Alejandro to release his breath. “He’s alive. Ghost knows that. He was able to tune into a truck radio where they were discussing moving him.”

“Truck radio?”

“Yeah, apparently this cartel managed to get their hands on old decommissioned trucks from your military.” Gaz nodded. “Ghost has a tracker on two of them, but they mostly run supplies between two insignificant warehouses.”

Alejandro frowned. “How does he know they’re insignificant?”

“Well, they’re barely the size of a small house and he can see completely through them from the rafters so…” Gaz looked up at him. He pointed to the map where the warehouses were marked.

Alejandro shook his head. It had only been a week but… he knew what could be done to a man in a week. “Has Graves reached out to make demands?”

“Nothing but the ones he left when he took him.” Gaz nodded, pulling up a scan of the letter. “Well, demands is putting it loosely. More of a threat. Sorry, mate, I wish I had more for you.”

“It’s alright.” Alejandro pulled over a chair that was empty. “Hand me a headset.”

Gaz seemed reluctant, but eventually did so. “I want to let you know that Price threatened to kick my ass for this but… you scare me just a little more.”

Alejandro couldn’t help his laugh. The kid looked so earnest and even shy about the admission. “Do not fear, Gaz. I will not tell him.”

He knew why Price did not want him on a headset. Alejandro kept himself contained, barely, as it was. “What are we listening to?” He asked as he slipped the headset on.

“Ghost thought it was important. A conversation between two drug runners.” Gaz went to put on the subtitles but turned red halfway through and stopped. “Right, sorry, you don’t need an interpreter. My right headphone interprets into english.”

Alejandro pet his shoulder but focused on their voices.

“Damned Gringo. They put him in a high position for what? All because he’s ex-military from America?”

“He was able to get his hands on vehicles and weapons. Boss trusts him. Who am I to question the Boss?”

“It’s shady.”

“You should watch your mouth. He hears everything.”

“Yeah, whatever. What’s our route again?”

“Eastern Wild Lily.”

“Code name.” Gaz murmured, clarifying. “Ghost has figured out each drug route. They use flower names. The more general, the bigger it is. It’s actually quite interesting.”

“What is Wild Lily? Do you have the routes marked?” Alejandro frowned, looking at the map. Gaz clicked a button and roads lit up, each labeled with their code name.

Alejandro whistled a little. So far, they seemed to only operate right outside of Las Almas. Too close for his liking. “I see.” He frowned but turned his attention back to the conversation.

However, they had stopped talking.

“Gaz- Gaz come in.” Both men immediately straightened at hearing Ghost’s voice.

Gaz put his microphone near his mouth, and pressed his talk button. “Ghost, I’m here.”

“I’m putting another route into the map. It’s an old mineshaft. They transport highly sensitive items through it. I think it’s where they took Rodolfo through. The end of it is right in the mountain where he was grabbed. I’m gonna scout it out, and report back in exactly 12 hours. Who will be on shift, then?”

Gaz looked to Alejandro nervously. “Uh… I think Soap. He’s offered to take night shift.”

“Damn insomniac. Alright. Inform him of everything when you switch- Gaz, listen to me. Write everything I just said down.”

Gaz rolled his eyes, muttering something about “my memory isn’t bad” but he wrote it down all the same. “Old mineshaft, sensitive goods, 12 hours, which lands you at exactly 22 hours, sir.”

“Good job, Sergeant.”

Gaz hesitated, glancing at Alejandro. “Should I inform Alejandro of this news?”

Alejandro already knew Soap’s answer as he heard it.

“Absolutely not, Gaz. I do not want to deal with the consequences of this being nothing.”

“Alright, Sir.” Gaz turned off his microphone and turned to Alejandro. “Please know I risk my bottom with great respect to you, sir.”

Alejandro shook his head. “Thank you, sergeant. When you get off shift, we uncovered a truck load of illegally imported teas. Go talk to the kitchen. They’ll make you a cup.”

Gaz grinned and stuck his thumb up before turning to the map to look at the information Ghost had put on the map.

Alejandro seriously considered staying, but he knew Ghost would not update until exactly 22 hours, so he stood after taking his headset off and finally went to the mess to get lunch. It was early, but they usually kept food on hand for him.

He took it back to his office, deciding to exercise his colonel privileges and eat there. If he could stomach his food.

22 hours did not come fast enough. He went to the command room immediately.

“Alejandro, I’ve been given-”

“Soap, you’re in my base. Besides, I already extorted Gaz. I know what’s going on.” Alejandro didn’t bother asking for the headset, just taking it. “I’m not gonna speak, so don’t worry.”

Soap didn’t seem to like the idea, but Alejandro knew it wasn’t for a regard for the rules. “Just, I’ll be alright, hermano.”

Soap sighed but nodded, turning on Alejandro’s headset. 

The other end was silent, as it was technically 21:56. Ghost was… infuriatingly punctual.

At 22:00 on the dot, Ghost’s voice came in.

“Soap, do you copy?”

“I’m right here, LT.”

“I’m coming back. Did Gaz brief you?”

“Down to every period and comma, sir.”

“Good. I won’t discuss my findings until I get back but.. It’s not good, Soap. Not devastating but… I couldn’t get to Rodolfo himself. This place is swarming. Too crowded for even my skills. But he’s here, Soap. And… I have videos.”

Alejandro tensed and clenched his hands into fists.

Soap’s eyes were closed, probably deeply regretting letting Alejandro listen. But, he didn’t blow Alejandro’s cover. “I will inform the rest.”

“Tell Alejandro as well.”

“I will. I… can you give me a scope of how bad the videos are?”

“They made my bloody stomach churn-”

Alejandro left, immediately, needing out of that room. He couldn’t breathe, his heart being squeezed into a pulp.

All he could think of was “outside” and “air. Air now” and so he all but ran outside, trying to catch his breath. They made my bloody stomach churn. Images flashed through his mind of everything that could possibly be being done to his precious Rodolfo.

Guilt dug into his brain. He should be out there, now! Not sitting here waiting for Ghost to find him! But he knew running out wasn’t the smartest. Hell, it was the stupidest fucking thing he could do.

Alejandro pressed his hand to his heart and tried to catch his breath, his mind screaming “go!” and his heart pressing the alarm button. He fell against the wall, sliding down it and clawing at his chest to get the feeling to stop.

He didn’t know how or when, but Laswell eventually found him, curled up against the wall and still unable to breathe.

“Hey, hey-” She forced him to face her, grabbing his face. “Alejandro, look at me.”

He did his best to breathe, looking at her eyes. They were concerned, but stern.

“You need to breathe. Sitting out here panicking isn’t doing anything.”

“Neither is sitting in there, waiting for Ghost to fucking return!” He growled at her, but tried to relax.

“Alejandro!” She snapped. “Now, I am not afraid to slap you to knock some fucking sense into your ass.”

His irritation at being yelled at paused the sensation of panic, but he barely noticed, shoving her off of him and standing. “The closest person in my life is being tortured so badly that it made Ghost’s stomach turn. I don’t make assumptions, but I am fairly certain that that is quite possibly the worst outcome at this moment!”

Laswell glared at him. “He could be in a fucking box!”

“Don’t start that shit, you and I both know that death is the better alternative to being tortured!” He snarled at her before turning around and hitting the wall, busting his knuckles open.

Kate seemed to soften and touched his arm. “You’re right. I am being… I’m going about this the wrong way. Look, your searches ended up with nothing. Your only option was to rely on Ghost. Now, your only option is to wait for him to get back and then go and rescue Rodolfo, alright? There is no more options.”

Alejandro closed his eyes and then shrugged her hand off of his arm, nodding. “You are right. Let’s go.”

She nodded and led him inside, taking him straight to the command room where everyone was waiting at a table.

Alejandro mostly ignored everyone’s looks of sympathy, sitting and resting his elbows on the table before clenching his hands together, staring at his rings.

He focused on counting each hair on his knuckles, needing to keep himself together.

Waiting was agony. Even with Alejandro’s resolve, each minute put that grip back around his heart, squeezing tighter and tighter.

Fortunately, everyone else was silent. Alejandro likely would have cursed at them if they even breathed too loud.

Finally, Ghost came into the command room. From the fact that he still had his headset on, it was likely he had came straight to the command room. 

Alejandro stood immediately before sitting again as he saw… guilt. Ghost’s eyes gave it all away. The remorse for the situation. Rodolfo had to be in a bad state. Alejandro didn’t want to find out how bad but he had to.

“The main operations are conducted in an old store room, located deep in the mining tunnels. Fortunately, there is a lift we could access on the opposite side which is the only other way out, save for the entrance tunnel, which is roughly a mile long.” Ghost put up pictures and a map on the main screen. “I know exactly where Rodolfo is, but it was too closely watched. Graves has it under tight security down there. Unfortunately, stealth was not a viable tactic. We need to blow up the radio tower and cut off communications and then send every man we can.”

He turned back to the table, looking at Alejandro. “I will lay everything out, but this is your mission to lead.”

Alejandro let out a breath and stood, crossing the room to look at the screen. He looked over Ghost’s plan notes. His eyes were caught by a picture of Rodolfo, chained to a wall. Fortunately, all of his body seemed to be intact, if not severely bruised. Systematically beaten, he would guess.

He took in a shaky breath before releasing it and turning to the table, considering each member’s strength like he did before every mission. “Laswell will stay here as an operator.”

Laswell nodded, unsurprised.

Alejandro looked to Gaz and price. “Gaz, you will lead ⅓ of our men to the lift and take that side. Brute force it. Price will take the rest to the other side and flush through the mining tunnels.”

Both also nodded, Price immediately standing and getting on the radio to gather forces, Gaz following him.

“Soap will blow up the radio tower, since he can handle explosives.”

Soap half grinned, sticking both thumbs up.

“Ghost, you and I will sneak in and grab Rodolfo during the chaos.” Alejandro turned to Ghost, who nodded, gravely. He turned to Laswell. “We will need you to keep a listen out for us.”

“Will do, Colonel.” She nodded.

Alejandro dispatched them to prepare before following Ghost to put on stealth armor. “Ghost, be honest. How bad is it?”

Ghost was silent for a while. “I will… be honest. I have had first hand experience with a lot. While it does not come near being the worst it was… more than I expected. And I expected it to be bad.”

Alejandro sucked in a breath, closing his eyes. “Where’s the videos?”

“I had them downloaded to a flash drive. You’ll find them in the mission data.”

Alejandro nodded, putting on his helmet and attaching the night vision goggles. “How difficult is this stealth mission going to be?”

“Difficult but Graves is not in the shaft at the time. He is in the US, likely gathering supplies.”

Alejandro clenched his fists. “So we can’t even kill the bastard?”

“We will. Eventually.” Ghost promised. “After the trouble he has caused me, I will personally end him. Slowly and painfully.”

“I want to.” Alejandro said, immediately. “I will.”

Ghost looked to him, seeming almost impressed, and then deeply concerned. “Alright.”

Alejandro relaxed only slightly before securing his com device.

Once everyone was secure and connected, Soap started his mission to the radio tower with Ghost guiding him to get there.

Alejandro watched his marker move on the map until he made it to a very old radio tower.

“Detonating in 3… 2… 1…” Soap’s microphone went silent before the explosion, thankfully.

“It wasn’t too loud. I only used one pack of C4 to bring down it’s leg and it sort of just crumbled. I am escaping back to the truck now to meet up with Gaz. Gaz, do you copy?”

“Waiting for you, Soap. We see your mohawk.”

“Do I look good?”

“Boys.” Laswell interjected.

Alejandro was grateful. He normally found their banter funny but… not that night.

“Soap is secure, Laswell. We are heading to the location of the lift, now.”

“Team A is surrounding the mineshaft as we speak. Gaz, you give the green light.”

Alejandro and Ghost took that as their cue to take off, Ghost driving the truck as fast as possible. 

They went to the lift’s side, since that was closer.

“Damn, the bloody lift is rusted shut.”

They were cut off by a small explosion noise and Soap laughing. “Not anymore. Good thing I kept a second charge on me.”

Ghost sighed as he got out of the car, shaking his head. “Exactly how many charges did you bring, Mactavish?”

“Only 4 sir. One for each leg of the tower. I didn’t expect it to be so old and decrepit. I likely could have blown on it and it would have crumbled.”

Alejandro took it back. He was grateful for the distraction.

“Team B is secured in the lift, Team A, do you copy?”

“We copy, Team B. Going in on your go ahead.”

“The lift is descending. Go now, Team A.”

Ghost nodded to Alejandro, showing him a small tunnel entrance. “It’s a maintenance tunnel for the lift. It’s how I got out.”

Alejandro swiftly followed him down, able to hear the distance sounds of gunfire. “How deep is this mineshaft?”

“More shallow than you’d expect. I suspect it was abandoned because of cartel activity.”

“Many were.” Alejandro nodded.

“From here you can slide.” Ghost said, after a few minutes and then started to slide down the ladder.

Alejandro followed suit, making sure to keep as slow of a pace as he could to not break his leg, or Ghost’s neck, at the bottom.

Once he hit the ground, he dusted himself off before putting his goggles over his eyes, following Ghost through the tunnels. They wound around dead soldiers and cartel members alike, though the cartel members far outweighed the soldiers. The fight was far from fair, but Alejandro didn’t care.

He would take care of the paperwork once Rudy was back at the base, safe and sound.

Alejandro followed Ghost deep into the minds, trying to keep his mind off the gunfire in the distance.

They finally reached another tunnel, which Ghost swiftly turned down. “There will be people down this way. Heavy guns. Stay close to minimize our target area.”

Alejandro nodded.

Ghost tapped his com device. “Laswell, this is Ghost checking in. We are in the tunnel leading to Parra. Dispatch Soap to follow at a distance.”

“Will do, Lieutenant. Soap-”

She turned to the other radio and cut off. Alejandro knew this was to make sure one of them could carry Rodolfo. He admired Ghost’s ability to think so far ahead in such a tense moment.

Alejandro usually could, but not right now. He ducked behind a minecart that was smashed into the wall as gunfire rang out towards him. He and Ghost both aimed and took out the offenders, before continuing.

They had to duck nearly every ten minutes, but eventually Soap’s gunfire would also fire with theirs, taking out more targets.

Finally, they reached a door and Ghost just shot the lock, yanking the door open.

They walked in to see a man actively putting a lock on a large glass box, rapidly filling with water, Inside, was Alejandro’s Rodolfo, panicking and slamming his fists on the glass as hard as he could.

Ghost started to take out the men surrounding the room, and Alejandro beelined straight for the one locking the box.

That one turned around and grinned at Alejandro, sticking the key in a mouth filled with rotting teeth and swallowing it. Alejandro didn’t waste time as soon as he was near him, knocking him down with the butt of his gun and shooting the glass. All it did was make a small circle of cracks.

“Fuck! Ghost, the box is bullet proof!”

“Where in the fuck did Graves get bullet proof glass?!” Soap shouted behind him.

“Damn it, it’s a key padlock!” Alejandro cursed for several long moments in spanish. He turned to the man, who was laughing on the ground.

He kicked his stomach, causing him to groan and roll over, coughing up blood. But no key. “Fuck!!!” He snarled and kicked him again.

“I’m not gonna puke it up! Fuck you!”

Alejandro stared down at the man who was still coughing. 

Ghost seemed to be looking for a solution.

Alejandro turned to the box, where he saw that the water level was already under Rodolfo’s chin. He started to panic, the weight of the situation pounding down on him.

He looked back down at the man, getting out his knife. “Fine. Then I have no other option.”

The man’s eyes widened and he suddenly started to make a very concerted effort to get away but Alejandro dragged him back, forcing him onto his back and keeping him down with his knee on his chest, crouching to reach.

He ripped the man’s shirt, not hesitating to sink the blade deep into his stomach. He sliced upward with a fluid motion, hearing a gurgle from the man, which almost drowned out the squelch of organs being slide in half.

Alejandro shoved his hand into what he hoped was the man’s intestine. Blood pooled fast, sinking into the top of Alejandro’s glove, but Alejandro continued, finding the key after only a few moment’s of searching.

The man couldn’t scream, but he was trying, clawly at Alejandro’s leg as his strength waned.

Alejandro didn’t waste time to kill him, wiping the key off and forcing it into the padlock.

Once the lock was off, he slammed into the box.

It swayed once before he slammed into it again, sending it tipping over,

Fortunately, Rodolfo fell out with only a soft thud, sliding across the dirt.

Alejandro immediately ran over to him, Soap and Ghost following.

Soap checked his pulse. “He’s not breathing.”

“Move!” Alejandro barked at Soap, shoving him away. He got Rodolfo onto his back and immediately started chest compressions.

1, 2, 3- come on Rudy, come on! He stared at Rodolfo’s face as he did them, before stopping at 30 to force air into his lungs, and then continuing compressions.

Every beat felt like agony, but Alejandro continued.

“Alejandro-” Soap started but Alejandro only glared at him before continuing.

It was the only time Alejandro had seen Soap shrink back.

1, 2, 3- Rudy, wake up! Wake up now!! His heart started to squeeze tighter with each beat.

The hope started to leave his chest and right when the thought of giving up cross his mind, Rodolfo’s body jerked and he gasped, his eyes flashing over.

Relief slammed into Alejandro’s body and he immediately pulled Rodolfo up into a hug. 

He felt Rodolfo’s arms attempt to weakly wrap around his body, confirming he wasn’t brain dead. “Rudy, oh thank god-”

“Commander, I-” Rodolfo rasped before coughing up water right onto Alejandro’s shoulder.

Alejandro wouldn’t have cared if he puked into his hair, because it meant Rodolfo was alive. “Don’t- Just relax, we’re gonna get out of here.”

He stood, tugging Rodolfo up and throwing him over his shoulder, trying not to notice how considerably lighter he was.

Graves was going to regret every scar. Every bruise. Every kilogram that Rodolfo had lost. Every fucking chest compression that Alejandro had to perform. Every moment he had feared for the possibility of Rodolfo never being found alive.

Every single fucking second of it.

Alejandro rushed after Ghost and Soap, trying to comfort Rodolfo who coughed at every jostle.

Soap led them back to the lift and started to force it up, ducking as gunfire sprayed into it.

“Gaz!! It’s us!!” He immediately cried into the coms, trying to force the lift faster.

“That’s not our gunfire! There was an unmarked tunnel, some of the cartel members got away through it. I’m trailing them now! Is Rodolfo secured?”

“I have him Gaz!” Alejandro confirmed, gently setting Rodolfo down where the bullets couldn’t reach.

“Gaz, retreat back to the other entrance, I’m blowing off another pack of C4!” Soap called, getting the C4 ready.

“Soap, are you out of your fucking mind?!”

“Just get to the other fucking entrance! Price, retreat now!!”

Alejandro looked at Soap, about to stop him before setting the sheer number of cartel members pouring out of the secret tunnel.

Even Ghost looked alarmed, shooting what he could.

Soap armed the C4 and waited before pressing the button right as the lift was almost too high. “45, 44, 43,” He counted.

Ghost slammed his fist on the up button for the list. “Faster, you piece of shit!!”

Alejandro immediately went to coms. “C4 blowing in-” he listened as Soap hit 30 seconds, “30 seconds!”

“Jesus fucking christ, Soap!!” Price practically screamed into the coms.

Right as Soap hit 15, the lift made it to the top and Alejandro grabbed Rodolfo, throwing him up onto the dirt.

Soap and Ghost climbed out and dragged Alejandro out, Alejandro barely making it out before the lift slammed right back down, a very muffled explosion ringing up through the shaft of it.

“Fuck-” Soap panted.

“Team A and Team B, do you both copy?”

“Team A and B both secured, retreating to the trucks, now!”

“Soap, I’m gonna kick your ass when this is over.”

“Hey, it worked!!” Soap grinned and helped Alejandro get Rodolfo back to the truck.

Rodolfo was shivering violently, unable to take a step without falling.

Alejandro climbed into the back with him and Soap, who promptly went to work assessing Rodolfo’s injuries and treating what he could.

Alejandro focused on keeping Rudy awake, carding his fingers through his hair and gently asking him to keep his eyes open.

“Commander, I can’t, I’m-”

“Shh, I know…” Alejandro murmured and smiled, looking into Rodolfo’s eyes.

Rodolfo started to cry, likely from exhaustion and stress, begging Alejandro to let him sleep.

“Delirium. Keep him awake. If he’s awake, his brain is working.” Soap commanded Alejandro.

Alejandro just worked on keeping him awake, shaking him when he had to. “Remember the mountains? Cliff jumping?”

Rodolfo hiccuped and cried out in pain before panting a little. “I.. never wanted… to jump, that… was your idea…”

Alejandro laughed softly. Always Rodolfo, reminding Alejandro that he was in fact the trouble maker of the two. “You always did it, though.”

“Would follow… you anywhere, Commander…”

Alejandro felt a pang in his chest. He shook him to wake him when his eyes closed, causing Rodolfo let out another soft sob.

Once they were back at base, he was taken immediately to the infirmary, where Alejandro couldn’t follow.

The medics were competent. He would trust them with his own life. But not Rudy’s.

Rodolfo had barely noticed being moved, just asking the medic if he could sleep now.

Alejandro clenched his hands into fists, taking deep breaths to calm before meeting Price and Gaz and Lazwell.

25 hours. Alejandro counted each minute. Fuck, he counted each breath. 25 hours was how long before he was allowed to see Rodolfo.

Alejandro barely had to think before he was bursting into Alejandro’s room, unable to breathe at the sight that greeted him. “Don’t worry, Commander. He’ll live.” The medic currently tending to Rodolfo informed Alejandro.

Alejandro had a hard time believing it as he looked over Rodolfo. 

Rodolfo had always been nearly 3 inches taller than him. Alejandro had hated it. Each time it was brought up.

Of course, Rodolfo brought it down to 1 inch by always crouching all the time. He always tried to make himself less imposing. Even in the field. Alejandro had scolded him many times for it.

Now, looking at Rodolfo in the bed, you wouldn’t have been able to tell. He looked so small…

Alejandro dragged a chair over to the bed.

Of course, even with the height difference, everything else about Alejandro was bigger. Bigger chest, bigger shoulders, bigger hands, bigger personality.

He took Rodolfo’s hands, which were lightly bandaged. He looked over Rodolfo again. He remembered the last time he was in a hospital bed. The fire… He had been so panicked then, and even still… Rodolfo hadn’t looked this… broken. Just exhausted.

Even with the oxygen mask keeping him breathing, he looked like he was getting to sleep after 3 days of none.

Alejandro looked at Rodolfo’s hand, again, able to completely fold it in his own. He pressed his forehead to Rodolfo’s knuckles. “Rudy…” He murmured, not liking how his voice came out. He sounded as broken as Rodolfo looked.

He looked at his face again, reaching up to straight Rodolfo’s hair, putting it how Rodolfo preferred to keep it. He remembered Rodolfo’s words in the truck. I’d follow you anywhere.

Alejandro would not ask Rodolfo to follow him into death. He couldn’t take it. Watching Rodolfo cling to life was like sucking his own out of him. Each breath had been agony.

He looked up to a soft noise. “Ahem.” Ghost stood in the door, holding a flash drive. “Laswell hit a button and ‘accidentally’ deleted the footage of Rodolfo being tortured. But… I put it on a flash drive for you. She… doesn’t understand that need. To watch it.”

Alejandro looked down at that small little rectangle in Ghost’s hand.

Part of him wanted to curse Ghost out for suggesting he even look at it, but the rest of him needed to see. Needed to understand what Rodolfo had went through.

He stuck his hand out for it, looking away from Ghost.

Ghost placed the drive in his hand. “Graves has been located. He’s on the path back to the border, now. We cannot grab him while he’s in the US.”

“Officially.” Alejandro corrected.

Ghost looked at him for a moment. “What do you want me to do, Alejandro? Say the word, and I am yours to command.”

Alejandro looked down at the flash drive in his fingers. “Is he in them? Does he touch Rodolfo?”

“Graves did most of the interrogating. So, yes.”

“I want him in one of my cells as soon as you can get him there. Faster than even that.” Alejandro growled, clenching the drive in his fist. He was going to do whatever had been done to Rodolfo to Graves. Slowly. He would make sure he felt every minute of it.

Ghost stood and left, immediately.

Alejandro turned back to Rodolfo.

He’d give anything to see his eyes right now. He took Rodolfo’s hand again and then… after a moment, he started to kiss every finger, murmuring an apology with each kiss.

One for not finding him sooner, one for forcing him to stay awake, one for not immediately taking Graves’ reappearance more seriously, and one for not taking the chance to tell Rodolfo every single thing he felt towards him before.

He put his forehead on Rodolfo’s hand again, trying to think through his feelings.

He knew he felt… something romantic towards him. Something strong. It was too big for Alejandro to keep a handle on, sometimes. He took a deep breath, able to perfectly imagine the warmth in his chest that he always felt when Rodolfo smiled at him.

The clench in his heart when Rodolfo said his name or laughed. Even just “commander” caused his heart to flutter.

At first he’d been embarrassed over it, but in time he had settled into just accepting it as part of them. Being in love with Rodolfo felt as inherent as breathing or sleeping.

The sun would rise, flowers would bloom, clouds would rain, and Alejandro would love Rodolfo. It felt baked into the universe, so absolute and so divine, that Alejandro would not fight it, even if he wanted to.

But… Alejandro could not be sure that Rodolfo felt the same towards him.

Being of higher rank brought a concerning power dynamic, and while Alejandro knew in his heart that he would not pressure Rudy into loving him, how did he know Rudy would not feel pressured, anyway?

He couldn’t live with himself if that was revealed to be the case.

And… Alejandro knew his affection was obvious. Valeria had pursued him during their time at a squad, but even she noticed that Alejandro’s heart was already taken. Had been since they were children.

Alejandro’s heart would forever belong at home with Rudy.

If Rudy ached, it ached. If Rudy smiled, so did his heart. Losing Rudy meant losing his heart. And Alejandro feared that more than anything else in this world.

Alejandro looked again to Rodolfo’s face, being greeted with brown eyes, watching him move.

“Commander-” He coughed a little, pulling the intubation tube from his mouth. “I-” He coughed again.

Alejandro gently stopped him, putting the tube back. “You need it to breathe, Rudy.”

“I’m sorry-” It was muffled but Alejandro could make it out.

“Rodolfo, there is nothing to apologize for. I am just… so grateful that you are here and you are alive.” Alejandro sat back down and smiled at Rodolfo.

Rodolfo relaxed and closed his eyes again, looking exhausted. “Chest hurts…”

“You didn’t swallow much water but your body was weak when you swallowed what you did.” A medic replied, stepping in. “But, you’ll live. And you’ll be back in action within the week.”

Alejandro glared at the bed. He’d see about that. After this, he wasn’t sure he wanted Rodolfo back in the field.

Rodolfo seemed relieved.

“I want to do some small tests. You sustained a lot of damage to your spine, Sergeant. Can you hold up two fingers?”

The movement was weak and slow, and his fingers didn’t quite clench properly but two fingers were held up. 

“Perfect, Sergeant. Now, I’m gonna dig my pen into your foot. Nod if you feel anything.”

She moved to Rodolfo’s feet, doing as she said.

He frowned but didn’t nod.

The medic frowned. Alejandro felt his heart being squeezed again. “What does that mean?”

“As I said, he sustained a lot of damage to his spine. And his nervous system due to almost drowning. We’re gonna give him a day to rest some more and test this again.”

Alejandro clenched his hands into fists. “Is he paralyzed?”

“We do not know, commander. We will have to wait to find out.” She smiled, sorry. Then, she left the room.

Alejandro looked to Rodolfo, who had closed his eyes again. He took a deep breath and took Rodolfo’s hand again. “It’s gonna be okay, Rudy.”

Rodolfo nodded a little, his eyes opening and looking at Alejandro.

Alejandro, for a moment, found himself feeling he was being pulled open, every feeling he had towards Rodolfo on bright display. He looked away, wincing as Rodolfo made a frustrated noise.

“Why??”

“Why what, Rodolfo-” He was stopped by a medic coming in. She unhooked everything unnecessary from Rodolfo’s body, leaving him with just the IV and putting a small oxygen hose around his nose, stating it was just a precaution to make sure he was breathing. Then, once she had helped him sit up, she left.

Alejandro waited for her to leave before turning to Rodolfo, being met with him glaring at him. “Rodolfo..” He sighed, his shoulders slumping.

“You always look away from me when I can… see on your face that you’re thinking something deep. There’s something you want to say but if you look away, you won’t.” Rodolfo coughed a little but mostly glared. “I am not a child, Alejandro, I can handle whatever you’re about to say.”

Alejandro shook his head. “It’s complicated, Rodolfo. Deeper than just unspoken words.”

“I’m in love with you, commander.”

Alejandro’s heart stopped and he immediately turned to Rodolfo, who was looking away from him. His face was deep red and his hands were in fists.

Alejandro softened and tried to breathe again. “Can you repeat that, Rudy?”

“I. am. in. love. with. you.” He repeated, sounding even more irritated. But, his voice cracked on the last word and he turned back to Alejandro. “And I know you’re in love with me back, so why can’t you just say it?”

Alejandro was unable to breathe again, seeing the intensity in Rodolfo’s eyes. He had stared into them many times, unable to form any other ideas than kissing Rodolfo and even now, that was all his brain could offer.

So, he did. He surged forward and grabbed Rodolfo’s face, kissing him deeply.

Rodolfo at first tensed before just melting into the kiss, reaching and grasping at Alejandro’s shirt with whatever strength he had. Alejandro felt his skin catch fire wherever Rodolfo touched or made an imprint.

Alejandro was gentle as he could be, pulling him close and almost cradling him, careful not to hurt his precious Rodolfo. Finally, he broke away, panting a little, when he needed air.

Rodolfo was panting as well. Too hard. He had to quickly lie down, staring at the ceiling. “I… have fantasized… most of my life about you doing that.” He smiled at Alejandro.

Alejandro pushed his hand through his hair, taking deep breaths to slow his heart. “I have fantasized almost every day since I was 12 years old about doing that.” He grinned and leaned close to Rodolfo again, gently kissing his jaw, and then his cheek, and then the corner of his mouth, mostly doing it to be able to hear his breathing.

“You need to rest, mi sol.” He murmured, smoothing Rodolfo’s hair.

“How can I? You made my heart go so fast I can no longer hear its beats.” He gently grabbed Alejandro’s shirt again, keening into each kiss.

“You have a taste of what your eyes do to me, then.” Alejandro purred into his neck. “I’m… you need to eat and so do I. I haven’t eaten since the morning before we rescued you.”

Rodolfo tsked. “Alejandro-”

“I know, Rudy. I know.” Alejandro laughed softly and stood.

He was swift, not wanting to waste time to be with his Rudy again. He grabbed whatever they gave him, bringing it back to Rudy.

Fortunately, it was molletes, which Rudy liked. Not necessarily loved but he liked them enough.

Alejandro sat by his bed again, helping Rodolfo back up so he could eat. He let Rodolfo eat on his own, knowing he was too proud to accept help. 

And, they ate in silence, neither one willing to break it.

#Alejandro Vargas #Rodolfo Parra #Alejandro x Rodolfo #Aledolfo #Call Of Duty: Modern Warfare II #Call Of Duty #angst #comfort #sad stuff #multi part fic #kidnapping #mentions of torture #graphic scene #i love queue #johnny soap mactavish #simon ghost riley #kyle gaz garrick #john price

[megxplryxb]

Till the Bitter End

Pairings: Pete Dunne x fem!reader

Disclaimer: Gif is not mine.

You had one purpose tonight and that was to get drunk and forget everything that had went on. Liv on the other hand, she was determined to find you a guy at the club. You had been so down lately and she wanted to cheer you up. You weren't really interested in anyone at the moment. Well, you were interested in someone, but he was the reason you wanted to get drunk. You wanted to forget him and pretend that you and him never happened. After all, that's what he told you to do.

"Girl, you look so hot." Liv said as you both got ready in her bathroom. She was right. You did look hot and you knew it. The tight black dress you were wearing complimented your body in all the right ways. It was more revealing than what you were used to but still tame compared to Liv's skin coloured dress.

"Every guy is gonna want to fuck your brains out tonight." She nudged grinning at you as you shot her a look.

"I don't even want to look at a guy tonight, I'm just gonna flirt with my good friend alcohol." You stated as she shook her head. You were glad you didn't have to report to the performance centre tomorrow as you planned on watching trash tv while riding out the hangover.

"I'm getting you laid tonight one way or the other." Liv stated arrogantly handing you a shot as her phone vibrated.

"Oh shit." Liv muttered looking at her phone screen and then at you.

"What?" You questioned as you saw the look on her face.

"It's from Tyler. They're in town." She stated as your stomach churned. This was the last thing you needed tonight.

"Is he with them?" You questioned looking straight in to the mirror as she nodded.

"Yeah, Pete's with them. Tyler just gave us a heads up to say that they're out." She confessed as you stood silent for a moment before quickly downing the shot Liv had left on the sink for you earlier. You were grateful that Tyler was concerned enough about you to text Liv and tell you that Pete was out but he wasn't stopping you tonight.

"Ok, I'm ready, let's go." You said fixing your hair and grabbing your handbag.

"Are you sure you, I'm totally cool with staying in if you want to?" Liv asked, her mood quickly changing now that she knew the guys were in Orlando. She had been worried about you and knew you were hurting ever since you and Pete had broken things off. Liv had been your rock but you knew she needed a night out and tonight you weren't going to let her down. Pete didn't get to ruin tonight for you or Liv.

"I was going to have to face him at some stage. Now is as good a time as any." You shrugged trying not to look bothered. Truth is, you didn't know how you felt about seeing him again so soon. The last time you had seen Pete, he had broken your heart and flew back to England to be with his girlfriend of four years. You had felt so betrayed but really you had no right to be. You were the other woman, not her. But it didn't stop you from hurting or feeling sick or wanting him. You weren't a cheat, you were never that type of girl but Pete had made you feel things that you had never felt before and you were sure that he had felt the same about you, not that he'd ever say it. He rarely said anything.

You were attracted to him from the moment you had seen him wrestle at the UK tournament. You weren't there live but you had watched it with some of the others from NXT back in Orlando. While the other girls drooled over Tyler, Pete was your pick from the start. You were bummed that he hadn't won the tournament but then you heard that he had signed a contract with WWE. You quickly befriended Tyler and Trent but Pete, he was an asshole to you from the very beginning. You butted heads constantly but really you were never sure why he disliked you so much. In the end you challenged him because you knew how to wind him up, say all the right things to make him mad and get under his skin. You weren't afraid of him and he knew it, you almost felt he enjoyed the back chat you gave him because no one else dared to speak to him the way you did.

William Regal had taken notice of you and Pete's hostile relationship and ordered the creative team to pair you up at some of the live events while you were on the road. He found it humorous that you and Pete didn't get along and loved that you stood your ground with Pete. Regal always liked how you carried yourself backstage, it was one of the main reasons you were the NXT Women's Champion, that and you were awesome in the ring.

You wondered if things between you and Pete would be different if Regal hadn't forced you to team together. That's where it started after all, this fucked up thing between you. Working with Pete was difficult at the start, he was awkward and standoffish whenever you tried to talk to him about your matches together and you couldn't understand what his problem was. Going over the matches with him was worse, he wasn't interested in any of your ideas or suggestions and he insulted your in ring ability constantly. The worst thing he had said to you was when you were trying to practice the match you had with Pete against Nikki Cross and Killian Dain in a few days at a live event. He had questioned your reason for being in the wrestling business and suggested that you were trying to get a role on Total Divas, something you had no desire to do at all. While you usually let his snide remarks go, that one had hurt and you had finally given up on the idea that you two could work as a team, even for a few short matches. You gave Nikki and Killian an apologetic look before exiting the ring. Too embarrassed to stick around, you headed straight for the locker room to grab your stuff.

"You're such a dick, England" You heard Killian say but you didn't bother looking back. Nikki caught up with you to make sure you were alright and you gave her a convincing answer before you exited the building and headed for the parking lot. You rolled your eyes seeing Pete leaning against your car with a guilty look on his face.

"I shouldn't ave said that ta ya." He admitted as you placed your gym bag in the boot before slamming it closed.

"You can tell Regal that us working together as a team won't be happening and while you're at it, you can take full responsibility too." You said ignoring his attempt at an apology.

"I know I took it too far, can we try sort this out?" He asked as you lost it.

"No! I'm done trying to talk to you and trying to work with you, I don't owe you shit." You spat. "You've been nothing but a jackass to me since the day we met and you know what, I can handle you being a prick about mostly anything but insulting my in ring abilities in front of our co-workers? That's where I draw the line."

"I didn't mean it." He said as you shook your head.

"I have worked my ass off for eleven years to get where I am today. How fucking dare you say I'm only here to get a place on some ridiculous tv show!"

"Look, I was wrong and I'm tryin' ta apologise ta ya." He said as you rolled your eyes. You could tell he wasn't great at apologising. This was probably his first time.

"Yeah well you can shove your pathetic excuse for an apology up your ass."

"Why are ya bein so difficult?" Pete growled getting frustrated.

"I'm being difficult? I'm not the one who won't go over a damn match! Christ Pete, I know we don't get along but I at least thought we could be professional with each other ." You said as he shook his head.

"Do you hate me that much that you won't even work with me?" You questioned as he huffed.

"No."

"Well then what is it?" You asked as silence filled the space between you. "Wow. Peter England, lost for words. Never thought I'd see the..." You managed to say before you felt his lips on yours. Your eyes widened as you broke the kiss.

"What are you..."

"Just shut the fuck up." He said crashing his lips on yours again pushing your slim body against your car. This time you didn't break the kiss. As much as you hated to admit it, in that moment, all you wanted was Pete, so you gave in and let it happen. While your tongues battled for dominance, he slid his rough hands around your waist and up the small of your back.

You jumped apart pushing each other away as you heard the performance centre door open.

"You two made up yet?" Killian yelled towards the car park as Pete ignored him, looking down at the ground. You tried to catch your breath and spoke relieved that Killian clearly hadn't seen what you were doing.

"Yeah, we're all good now." You said waving to him before placing a hand over your mouth as Killian went back inside.

"Wh..what was that?" You asked looking at him but he refused to look back. Instead he backed up and walked away.

"A mistake." He said finally remembering that he had a girlfriend waiting for him back in Birmingham.

You told no one what happened with Pete that night because, there wasn't really anything to tell, it was just a stupid kiss. A mistake like Pete said. You both got caught up in the moment and that was it. You avoided each other whenever possible but Regal was still intent on you teaming with Pete as well as Trent and Tyler to face Sanity. Those were the times you had no choice but to interact with him and god was it awkward. 

Eventually it was set that Trent and Tyler would face Alexander Wolfe and Killian Dain for the NXT Tag titles at NXT Takeover Brooklyn while you and Pete would defend your UK and Women's titles in a mixed tag match against Eric Young and Nikki Cross. You and Pete were told to practice and train for the match a few weeks in advance and often stayed late at the Performance Centre to go over your moves and plans for the match. While going over some new moves with Pete that you wanted to try out he kissed you again and again, you gave in to him but you promised that after Takeover you'd stay away from each other because he didn't want to hurt his girlfriend. But then you found yourself lying naked underneath Pete on his locker room floor after successfully defending your championships at Takeover Brooklyn. You had only gotten backstage when he had dragged you towards his dressing room and began to undress you. You weren't sure if it was adrenaline or lust in Pete but you didn't stop it, you didn't want to. You couldn't avoid him or the want you were feeling for him any longer, in that moment you were his and you let him do whatever he pleased. 

While you had both promised to end communication after Takeover, it never happened and instead it intensified. The sex was incredible and you could never recall a bad rendezvous with him. Your favourite sex sessions with Pete were when he'd return from England after weeks of not having you. You would be covered in bite marks and bruises the morning after but you didn't care. Pete loved marking your body, it turned him on knowing he caused them but he would never dare hurt you. The electricity between you and Pete was undeniable and it didn't take long for Liv and Tyler to start noticing the sexual tension between you when you were around each other. Pete wasn't overly careful in keeping his distance from you, in fact, he liked sneaking around with you backstage or anywhere he could get his hands on you. You didn't tell anyone about your relationship, if you could even call it that but eventually Liv and Tyler questioned you both and you didn't deny it. There was only so many excuses you could think of for being in each other's locker rooms or for Pete being in your apartment. You knew Pete had a girlfriend but you never spoke of her and neither did he. You almost felt like she was non-existent and that Pete was yours but deep down you knew the truth.

As you and Liv sat in the back of the cab you could feel every emotion build up inside of your body that you had felt for the past few weeks. As you approached the club you felt a sense of nervousness and began tapping your hands on your knees. You weren't ready to talk to him or even see him. This was a mistake. But you couldn't let Pete ruin your night. You looked hot and a part of you wanted him to see you, see you look the way you did to show him what he was missing. You hated yourself for even wanting Pete to see you dressed like this, when it came to men you usually didn't act this way but you'd never met anyone like him.

Finally the cab pulled up outside the busy club. You jumped out and paid the driver as you waited for Liv to exit. You took a deep breath as she gave your hand a squeeze. "You ready?" Liv asked winking at you.

"As I'll ever be." You said sarcastically entering the club.

"The NXT guys are in the VIP section." Liv said pointing to a secluded corner. After getting some drinks you made your way to join the rest of the group. You scanned through everyone and It didn't take you long to see him sitting between Tyler and Trent. He was looking down at the table seemingly uninterested in whatever the guys were talking about. Your heart hurt seeing him and you hated that he looked so good. He always looked good.

"Ladies, we saved you some seats!" You heard Kyle O' Reilly yell excitedly. Pete's head shot up quickly as he heard your name being mentioned. You looked away from him not wanting to make eye contact.

"Thanks handsome!" Liv said hugging Kyle before taking a seat.

"You've got two choices." Kyle said smiling at you.

"Is that so?" You questioned folding your arms.

"You can either sit here or there." Kyle flirted pointing to a chair and then at his knee. You laughed.

"I think I'll take the chair." You said taking a seat beside Liv.

"No one ever chooses the knee." Kyle said defeated. You patted him on the knee giving him a sympathetic look as he took a seat beside you. You could see a bitter look on Pete's face the moment you had touched Kyle.

Tyler waved across the table at you, you smiled back and gave him a small wave. You really hated that he was in the middle of everything.

"You look beautiful tonight." Kyle whispered in your ear.

"Honestly I can hardly breathe in this dress and my feet are already killing me but thank you." You said smiling at him. You continued talking to Kyle as the rest of the Undisputed Era joined you but suddenly you were nudged in the side by Liv.

"He's so jealous." She whispered to you as you looked confused taking a drink.

"What?" You asked as she moved her head towards Pete who was gritting his teeth.

"He hasn't taken his eyes off of you since you walked in and he looks like he's about to rip Kyle's head off." Liv laughed as you remained silent. You didn't know why Pete would be jealous of Kyle, he had made it perfectly clear that you meant nothing to him.

"You should totally go home with Kyle tonight, he's so in to you." Liv said as you shook your head. "No. I would be doing it for all the wrong reasons." You confessed. Kyle was a sweetheart but you weren't over Pete and you wouldn't dare use Kyle to get over someone else.

A while later you decided to go to the bathroom to fix your make up. As you got up you took a slight wobble and fell straight in to Kyle's lap as he quickly grabbed your waist to stop you from falling further.

"I'm so sorry Kyle, I told you these heels were a death trap!" You said laughing trying to stand up again.

"Hey, you aren't the first girl to fall for me." He joked as you fixed your dress.

"Thanks for not letting me fall on my face." You said giving him a small hug before making your way to the bathroom. As you passed by, you could see Pete's head following your movements but you didn't give him any attention and instead kept walking.

After you had adjusted your make up you took a deep breath looking at yourself in the mirror. A part of you wanted to go home, Liv would be fine with the NXT guys and girls but you didn't want Pete to think you were leaving because of him, you were too stubborn for that. Deciding against calling a cab, you exited the bathroom not noticing Pete waiting for you on the other side of the door.

"Avin' fun are ya?" He asked in an angry tone as you froze. You knew his voice, you still heard it in your head every night when you struggled to sleep. You knew from past experiences that you should have just kept walking but you always had difficulty walking away from him. Now was no exception.

"More than you anyway." You replied referring to his moody exterior before attempting to leave.

"Yeah actin' like a slut looks like so much fun." He said sarcastically as you stopped in your tracks.

"Excuse me?" You said turning on your heels to face him.

"Saw ya fallin' on top of O'Reilly, making a show of yaself. How much ave ya had to drink?" He asked as you laughed.

"Much less than you by the looks of it." You answered as he smirked at you.

"Still the same mouthy girl ya always were." He said attempting to cup your face.

"Don't touch me! You don't get to do that anymore." You said coldly moving back from him. As much as it killed you to say, you couldn't bear him touching you anymore. It made you weak and you couldn't show weakness around Pete now.

"How long ave ya been fuckin' him?" Pete questioned referring to Kyle.

"Are you serious?".

"Do I look like I'm jokin'?"

"You're fucking unbelievable." You said turning away disgusted.

"Just tell me how long, a week, two weeks, a month?" Pete asked grabbing your wrist but not hard enough to hurt you. He wasn't that stupid and Pete had never hurt you physically. You considered lying to him and telling him you had been sleeping with Kyle just to see his reaction but you were sick of lying. There were too many lies told already.

"I haven't been sleeping with him or anybody. Not that it's any of your damn business." You spat pulling your hand away from him.

"You are my business love." He said moving towards you again as rage filled your body.

"I am nothing to you!" You said pushing him backwards.

"Everythin' alright?" Tyler asked walking towards you putting an arm around your shoulder sensing how uncomfortable you were.

"Fine mate. Just chattin' shit." Pete said taking once last glance at you before walking back to his seat.

"You ok bab?" Tyler asked as you began to tear up.

"Everything is just so fucked up, I should never have went near him." You said as Tyler pulled you close.

"It'll all be ok. I promise." The former UK Champion reassured you as he took you out for some air. Tyler handed you a tissue as you chuckled.

"Thanks Ty. I'm sorry you've been dragged in to all of this." You said as he shrugged.

"I've made a fair few mistakes myself, I don't judge anyone." He said as you rested your head on his shoulder.

"Why is he such a jerk?" You asked as Tyler let out a chuckle.

"Because he's Pete. It's who he's always been." Tyler answered.

"I hate him."

"You miss him.

"No I don't." You lied.

"He misses you too." Tyler stated as you raised your head immediately wanting to know more.

"I've caught him checkin' your twitta and Instagram a few times, lookin' at ya pictures and stuff." He said as you sighed.

"He can't have it every way Tyler. I gave him a choice and he chose to stay with her." You said as a tear escaped down your cheek.

"D'ya love him?" Tyler asked as you took a breath and nodded a yes.

"I wish I didn't. This wasn't meant to happen."

You and Tyler talked for another while before going back inside to the others. You made him swear not to tell Pete about what you had just admitted to him because it would do not good.

A while later you and Liv made your way to the packed dancefloor where some of the other NXT stars were already dancing. You had been dancing with Liv for several minutes before Kyle made his way towards you. You begged Liv to stay but she moved away to dance with Aliyah before giving you a cheeky wink and a smirk. You would feel awful for not dancing with Kyle so you gave in. You felt Kyle's hands on your hips as you had your back to him. It was then you saw Pete staring at you from the bar. Turning your body back around to face Kyle he pushed you close to him as you tried to ease off. "Can I kiss you?" He asked leaning in as you shook your head. "I don't think that's a good idea, you're drunk." You said as he laughed continuing to hold you. "I'd be too afraid to ask you if I was sober, it's just you're so beautiful." He said smiling at you. "I'm sorry Kyle, it's just not a good time right now." You said as he looked hurt. "Why not?" He asked as you tried to wriggle free from his grip. Before you could explain yourself, Pete was standing in front of you chest to chest with Kyle.

"Take ya arm off her before I break it mate." The bruiserweight warned as Kyle stood confused.

"Pete don't." You begged but he simply ignored your request.

"Chill out dude, we're just dancing." Kyle explained refusing to let you go.

"I already told ya ta get ya arm off 'er." Pete said not moving an inch.

"What's your problem man?" Kyle said squaring up to Pete as you tried to calm things down. "Kyle I think you should go back to the guys."

"My problem is you not takin' no for an answer." Pete replied catching your hand and pulling you behind him as the two men stared at each other. Your heart began to race seeing Pete begin to clench his fists. You wrapped an around his chest hoping that he would calm down but he continued to ignore you.

"She's single, what the fucks the problem? Oh I get it you're jealous." Kyle teased shoving Pete as the UK Champion completely lost it and connected his fist with Kyle's jaw. You tried to step in between them but before you could properly intervene, the two men had tackled each other to the ground, Pete immediately getting the upper hand and punching Kyle in the stomach and then in the face again. You called for Trent and Tyler who were sitting in the VIP section with some of the other NXT wrestlers. You knew you couldn't break it up alone but you tried your best to pull Pete off of him.

"Pete stop!" You begged trying to grab his arm as Tyler, Trent, Adam and Bobby finally approached the area and pulled Pete and Kyle apart. Pete tried to get free but Trent held him back.

"Enough!" Trent yelled.

"You're fucking crazy dude!" Kyle shouted to Pete as Trent and Tyler tried to pull him away from the scene.

"Don't eva touch her again ya hear me! I'll fuckin' kill ya! " Pete warned Kyle as you followed the three brits outside.

"You alright babe?" Tyler asked pulling you in for a hug. You just shook your head unable to speak.

"What the fuck was that about?" Trent asked as you looked at Pete. He looked at you for a second before hanging his head.

"Nothin'. Doesn't fuckin' matter." Pete muttered.

"Well why'd ya give him a batterin' then?" Trent questioned.

"Cause he's a fuckin' twat." Pete growled getting angry again.

"Oh and that justifies it does it?" Trent asked sarcastically.

"Trent just leave it man yeah?" Tyler pleaded.

"I'll fuckin' kill ya if our names get dragged in to this Peter!" Trent warned getting in to Pete's face.

"Fuck off." Pete growled once more.

"Guys please stop." You pleaded to them both.

"This is just as much your fault as it is his I bet!" Trent pointed at you angrily as Tyler pushed him.

"Don't talk to her like that man." Tyler warned Trent.

"Well it's obviously because of her he fuckin' hit him!" Trent argued.

"Leave her out of this." Pete screamed aggressively.

"I didn't ask him to hit Kyle, Trent. I didn't ask for any of this!" You cried as Trent held his hands up. You weren't really angry at Trent, it had happened because of you but you didn't ask for it.

"Alright, I'm sorry, I just thought you two were over."

"We are over." You admitted not bearing to see the friends argue any longer. "Me and Pete, we're done." You admitted looking at Trent. Pete looked at you, almost hurt by your words. But it was the truth, you were over and had been for weeks. It's not that you wanted to be over, you just didn't want to be the other woman any longer.

"Then why did you fuckin' hit him Pete?" Trent asked shaking his head in frustration.

"Doesn't fuckin' matter. Like she said, it's over." Pete said as Trent laughed sarcastically.

"If it was really over between you two, you wouldn't have done what you did in there." Trent said squaring up to Pete. "Sort your shit out and pray Hunter doesn't hear about this." He warned before entering the club again. Tyler looked at you protectively as you nodded your head.

"Tyler its fine, I need to talk to him, if you see Liv, tell her I'm going home ." You requested kissing Tyler on the cheek as he nodded and reluctantly went back inside.

It was quiet for a moment between you as you gave him a chance to speak but he said nothing.

"So you're just not talking now?" You asked as Pete shook his head and began to walk away.

"I've got nothin' ta say." He replied louder than before putting his hands in his pockets.

"Well I've got plenty, what the fuck was that in there?" You yelled as your heels clapped along on the wet pavement following Pete who was still huffing and kicking anything he could find on the ground. You'd never seen him like this before. You'd seen him angry but this was different.

"Pete!" You shouted grabbing his arm as you finally caught up to him. "What the hell is wrong with you? You could lose your job over what you did in there, do you know that?" You questioned.

"I won't. I run the UK division love, they'd be nothin' without me." He answered smugly.

"Everyone is expendable Pete, even you." You replied folding your shoulders. "You need to apologise to Kyle."

"For what, forcin' himself on ya?" He spat.

"He was a little drunk that's all." You shrugged.

"So fuckin' what, ya told him ta back off an he didn't. Prick got what he deserved." Pete growled.

"You didn't have to hit him, I had it under control!" You argued as he chuckled sarcastically.

"Yeah it really looked like it was going great for ya." He said rolling his eyes.

"Why'd you do it Pete?"

"Cause he asked for it."

"No he didn't. He was just a guy who was dancing with a girl and tried his luck but got turned down." You said as he remained silent.

"Would you have hit him if it was Liv or Nikki or Toni? Or was it just because it was me?" You questioned as he put his hands on his head. "Pete..."

"I just lost it alright! His hands were all over ya and I just fuckin' lost it."

"Why?"

"Because I couldn't stand seein' him touch ya." He growled as you sighed.

"So Kyle was right, you were jealous?" You asked as he shot you a look and snarled. "Yes or no Pete it's a simple question."

"Alright, I was fuckin' jealous, ya 'appy now?" He spat as you shook your head letting tears stream down your cheeks.

"No, I'm not fucking happy. I've been fucking miserable since we ended things!"

"You ended things between us not me!" He roared pointing at you.

"Because you picked her!" You yelled slapping his hand away from your face as everything went silent for a moment.

"You don't get to be jealous Pete. Not of Kyle or anyone else that comes in to my life from now on. I'm not yours, you made that perfectly clear when you chose to stay with your girlfriend. You're the one who told me to forget about you and that's what I've been trying to do." You sighed as he leaned against a car.

"Well maybe I can't forget about ya." He confessed.

"Well you don't have a choice because I'm not ok with being just a road fuck." You stated as he shook his head and laughed.

"What?" You asked as he rubbed his chin still laughing sarcastically.

"Ya think that's all ya were ta me, a road fuck?" He questioned as you sighed. You had enough of this conversation, you had enough of tonight. You were done.

"I don't know what I was to you Peter but whatever we were, clearly wasn't enough to make you pick me." You replied holding out your hand to hail a cab that was just pulling in. "Do me a favour? Stay away from me at the NXT tapings, then go back to Birmingham to your girlfriend and get out of my life for good." You stated opening the cab door and getting in not bothering to look back at the man you loved.

Pete stood watching you get into the cab and out of his life. He swallowed hard before turning around to see Tyler shaking his head.

"Ya such a dickhead." Tyler claimed as Pete sat on the curb resting his head in his hands. "Ya just goin' ta let her go then?" He questioned as Pete shrugged.

"She doesn't want anythin' ta do with me."

"Ya really don't know women mate." Tyler huffed putting a hand on the shoulder of the UK Champion. "All she wants is you."

"An she told ya that did she?" Pete asked sarcastically.

"She did actually. She told me somethin' else and all." Tyler said as Pete turned his head to look at him. "But I promised her I wouldn't tell ya." He said as Pete's eyes widened. "Tell me."

"I can't."

"Bate..." Pete warned.

"She'll kill me if I tell ya."

"And I'll kill ya if ya don't." Pete threatened as Tyler remained silent.

"Tyler I swear ta god!" The Bruiserweight yelled in frustration.

"Alright, she loves ya. She's in love with ya mate." Tyler confessed as Pete sat in silence trying to take in what he had just heard.

"Sh...she loves me?" He asked as Tyler nodded a yes. "When did she..."

"Tonight after ye argued outside the bathroom." Tyler said as Pete rose to his feet and began walking down the street.

"Pete!" Tyler shouted as Pete looked back. "Don't hurt her or it'll be me killin' you." Tyler warned as Pete nodded and continued to walk.

You thanked the driver for getting you home so quickly and handed him his cab fare before running into your building as the Orlando skies opened up and rain began to pour. You took off your heels getting in to the elevator as your feet were killing you. You leaned against the cold wall of the lift answering the multiple texts Liv had sent you since you had left the club. You reassured her you were fine and told her to enjoy the rest of her night. Once you got to your apartment, you towel dried your hair and got in to pyjama shorts and a tshirt. You turned on the tv before going to the fridge for some non-alcoholic beverage. That's when you heard a knock on the door.

"It's me... can ya open tha door please? I'm kinda wet." Pete begged as you bit your lip. You weren't sure you could handle seeing him again tonight. You had just asked him to stay away from you after all, what part of that did he not understand?

"I don't want ta fight." He said gently. You sighed reluctantly unlocking the door to see a soaked Peter England standing in front of you.

"Did you walk here from the club in that monsoon outside?"

"I might ave." He said as you rolled your eyes making your way to your bedroom to rummage in your closet pulling out a towel and some old clothes.

"Why?" You questioned walking back towards your living room again to face him.

"I just needed ta see ya." He said lowering his head to meet yours. You wanted so badly to wrap your arms around him but instead you took a breath and stepped back.

"Here take these. You're lucky you still had some stuff here." You said taking a seat on the arm of your couch.

"I'm lucky ya didn't chuck it all out ya mean." Pete said as he began to undress in front of you and changed into the warmer clothes. You weren't expecting him to change in front of you considering you had no relationship anymore but Pete didn't seem to hesitate and began whipping off his top and bottoms quickly. You looked down at your living room floor not wanting to stare at his body any more than you already had. You were sure your hands had trailed every part of his body when you were in bed with him all of those times but you quickly shook those thoughts from your mind as Pete finished dressing.

"That feels better." He said smiling at you. Pete smiling was a rarity in itself but it always made your heart skip a beat when he did it. No. You had to stop thinking about him like that.

"So what are you doing here?" You asked sternly.

"I just couldn't leave things like that between us."

"Why not? There was nothing left to say. We both said everything that needed to be said." You said walking to your kitchen. You could never stand still around Pete, he always made you feel so nervous even in your own home.

"That's not true though is it?" Pete challenged staring straight at you.

"What are you talking about?"

"You tell me?" He invited, following you to the kitchen.

"Tell you what exactly?" You asked leaning against the kitchen counter folding your arms.

"That ya love me." He stated as you left out a small chuckle and shook your head.

"You're out of your mind."

"Am I?"

Yeah you are. Of course I don't love you." You said denying that there was any truth to his claim. But you were a shitty liar and he could see straight through you.

"Except that I know ya do." He said standing in front of you.

"I... I don't."

"Ya such a bad liar." He said smirking.

"I don't fucking love you Pete, so just drop it ok!" You said trying to push by him but he refused to let you pass until he heard what he wanted to hear. You sighed and gave in shaking your head from side to side.

"Fuck sake, I should never have opened my mouth to Tyler, I should have known he'd blab to you." You confessed defeated.

"So ya do love me?"

"Did he also tell you that I wished I didn't?" You challenged as Pete looked hurt by your remark.

"How long ave ya felt...."

"It doesn't matter." You answered cutting him off.

"It does ta me."

"Well it shouldn't."

"Why not."

"Because."

"Because why?"

"BECAUSE YOU MADE YOUR CHOICE AND IT WASN'T ME!" You yelled. "Do you find all of this entertaining Pete? Do you enjoy torturing me?" You shouted. "You want me to say it? Fine, I fell in love with you, I am in love with you and I hate myself for it! I hate myself for wanting you and for sleeping with someone else's boyfriend over and over again and you know what the worst part of it is? I'm not sorry at all because what I had with you? What we had... made me so fucking happy and I know you felt it too!" You shouted pointing at Pete as he tried to touch you but you pushed him away again.

"I hate you. I hate how you make me feel and I hate that you picked her over me." You cried moving again. "I didn't mean to fall in love with you, I didn't want to fall in love with you but I did and I'm trying to move on but its not easy when you show up everywhere!" You cried as he wrapped his arms around you.

"No, no don't fucking touch me!" You yelled trying to escape his grip but he refused to let go this time.

"Stop love...." He said hushing you running his hands up and down your arms. "Stop runnin' from me." He whispered cupping your face.

"Why wasn't I good enough for you?" You cried falling to the floor. Pete falling with you. He rubbed your hair as you leaned your head on his broad shoulder.

"Why do ya keep sayin' stuff like that?" He asked.

"Stuff like what?" You questioned looking at him.

"That you're not good enough for me and earlier when you said you were 'just a road fuck'."

"Because that's how I feel..."

"Ya were neva just a road fuck. Did ya eva think that maybe I thought I wasn't good enough for you?" He asked as you shook your head.

"No. I never thought like that." You said as he cleared his throat.

Look, I'm not good at talkin' about my feelin's or anythin' but...from the first moment I saw ya in tha performance center... I uh...."

"You what?"

"I uh... thought that.. you were um..."

"You thought...?"

"That ya were the most beautiful thing I had ever seen." He confessed as you smiled at him wiping a tear from your cheek. "I wanted ya from the moment I met ya and I knew I couldn't ave ya so I acted like a dick ta ya instead. I tried to avoid ya, tried ta ignore the fact that I was attracted ta ya but I'd get so pissed when otha guys would talk ta ya, flirt with ya, like Kyle did tonight. I couldn't take it. I wanted ya ta be mine, only mine." Pete admitted as you remained silent.

"I still want that ya know." He said as you looked at him and shook your head.

"Well I can't be the other woman anymore."

"I'm not askin' ya ta be." Pete said frowning at you as you looked at him confused.

"When ya asked me ta choose between ya both that night, I didn't want ta lose ya but I knew what I was doin' was wrong and I felt like I owed it ta her ta stay in the relationship. She'd stuck by me through so much, supported my career but now I know that in the end its not fair to stay wiv her when I'm in love wiv someone else. I can't stay away from ya anymore." He whispered looking directly at you. You swallowed hard as he cupped your face. This time you didn't push him away.

"You snuck up on me and I wasn't ready for it. I didn't even see it comin'." Pete whispered bending his head to meet yours as a small smile appeared on your face. "I want ya. Properly this time." The bruiserweight confessed kissing your knuckles as you wrapped your arms around his neck and kissed him passionately. "Then I'm yours."

#pete dunne #world wrestling entertainment #wrestling fic #nxt #nxt wrestling #smackdown #wwe raw #fiction #pete dunne smut #pete dunne fanfic #pete dunne x reader #pete dunne imagine #butch wwe #bruiserweight

[yoongisugaagust]

HOME: The Sleepover

•Summary: Min Yoongi meets his forever.

“Do you want me to kick his ass? Because I will. Idol or not he can’t hurt my best friend.”

You shook your head. “Maybe he’s having second thoughts about us.”

“I don’t want to leave you now,” Sara huffed.

“You’re a whole ass engaged woman,” you laughed a little. “Go live with your fiancé and have a beautiful life.”

“No,” Sara protested. “You can move in with us. We’ll have a few extra rooms and you can take your pick. Oh there’s a room with a balcony that gives a nice view of the city skyline.”

“I would never. I’m okay with living on my own.” You laid across the couch lounging with your best friend drinking on your last night living together.

“I’m really going to be living with a boy from now on,” Sara sighed. “Promise though we’ll still have our girls nights?”

“Always. Even when we’re old and gray.” You agreed.

The whole night went by in a blur and you and Sara recounted your previous relationships and the various mistakes you made, grateful for the current lives both of you were now leading. It was your last “single girl” sleepover spent with a few bottles of soju and sleeping together in the living room.

No offense,” you giggled from your spot on the couch. “I never thought I’d see the day you’d be getting married. Like a full on wedding to top it off.”

“Yeah no offense taken,” She scoffed then popped another brownie bite into her mouth. “I never saw myself getting married but Chung just makes me feel all these new and different things. It’s weird. Gross even. Who have I become?” She laughed.

“You’re in love idiot. You two are so in love it’s cute.” You trailed off.

“I don’t know what’s going on with Yoongi but I’m sure whatever it is it’ll work out. I really like him for you. Gives me fuck boy vibes but he is different when I get to know him.”

You eyed her knowingly. “I knew you liked him. You’re a softie deep down.” Sara threw a small pillow from the couch right at you.

“I’m serious Y/n. Whatever this is that’s going on I hope you two can work it out. And then I can be the maid of honor for you when he finally decides to get his head out of his ass.”

“Anyway. I hope you start popping out babies once you’re married.”

A knock on the door broke you two out of your little world Sara quick to hop up to open it.

“What do you want?”

Yoongi stood at the entrance while Sara looked at him waiting for a good enough answer as to why she would invite him in.

“Can I just talk to her? I won’t stay long.”

“Y/n! Do you want to talk to him?” Sara had her arms folded to her chest as she called out to you from her place in front of the door. She wasn’t backing down until you gave her the OK.

You nodded to Sara letting her know you would handle everything and she walked over to her room to give you privacy but not without giving Yoongi her fatal stare before leaving.

“Can I come in?” His face was sullen but his voice remained solid. You stepped to the side granting him entrance into the living room where he took a seat. He looked over hoping you would sit next to him and was relieved when you finally did. “Sorry I’m interrupting your night with Sara but I wanted to make sure we were okay, you and I.”

“That’s what you came all the way over here for? You could’ve just left a message.”

“You haven’t been answering my phone calls or messages since last night. What did you expect me to do? Or are we broken up?”

“Is that what you want? Because if it is then..” you couldn’t bring yourself to form the rest of your sentence knowing how that would end up. Yoongi’s inability to refute you had you worried. The seconds filled with silence felt like an eternity.

“I need you to understand me.” He began which fueled the anxious pit in your stomach. “I love you Y/nah. I really do.”

“But..?” You waited as the pit grew larger.

“I’ve honestly never felt this way about anyone and it’s scary for me. My last real relationship we were together for three years. Three years and what I felt for her was nothing compared to what I feel for you. So I’m scared.”

“Yoongi,” you sighed.

“Every step that we take in our relationship is scary to me because it feels like new territory, you know? Of course I want to live with you and spend even more time with you. I’m sorry my reaction to you asking me was so shitty but I just needed time to really think about it to make sure it was the right decision for us.”

Damnit you could cry from the relief you finally felt but you truly saw in his eyes how worried he was. Worried that you would be the one to shatter his heart into jagged pieces because all he needed was time.

“Ask me again.” He looked hopeful and willing.

“No Yoongi. Take what ever time you need before we decide to do this. I’ll be here no matter what.”

His hands gripped your waist bringing you closer to his form. “Ask me again. Please don’t make me beg.”

“I don’t know,” you said sarcastically.

Yoongi gripped you even closer and a hand now rested on the back of your neck pulling you in for a quick but heated kiss.

“Seriously Yoon I don’t want you to feel pressured into this.” You stopped speaking after the pout spread across his face and you huffed.

“Please jagi,” he gave you a peck on the lips. “Please,” another kiss. “Please..” and another.

“Min Yoongi would you like to live with me?”

He couldn’t be bothered to answer your question opting to kiss all over your face instead. At hearing your giggling Sara walked back out of her room.

“Okay enough of that,” her voice was stern but she was happy for you deep down. She couldn’t let Yoongi know that though. “Hurt her again and you’ll be dealing with me next time.”

“Demon,” Yoongi playfully rolled his eyes. Turning back to you looking sincere he wished you a goodnight followed by the sweetest forehead kiss. “You think you can sneak out of here after she falls asleep?” Yoongi grinned and Sara hurled another pillow towards him.

#bts #bangtan sonyeondan #HOME fics #suga #min yoongi #agust d #suga fics #yoongi fics #bts fics #rm #kim namjoon #jin #kim seokjin #j hope #jung hoseok #jimin #park jimin #v #kim taehyung #jungkook #jeon jungkook #bts rm #bts jin #bts j hope #bts jimin #bts v #bts jungkook #suga x reader #yoongi x reader #min yoongi x reader

[fictionkinfessions]

I miss him. I probably don't deserve to, but i really really do. Despite everything, he treated me well--he protected me, and made me feel wanted even when i knew nobody else ever wanted me around. He was smart, and dorky as all hell, and so fucking badass when he needed to be. I didn't deserve him, after everything. It was so cut and dry, i was supposed to just be executed, or exiled, or something--i wasn't ever supposed to stay. But he fought for it anyway. Even though I couldn't do the same. I failed to keep them safe, i failed to keep our baby safe, but he still wanted me. They'd have been more than justified in gutting me alive for putting them all in danger, i was hurt and useless, but he didn't let them. And then the kids agreed with him... i know it pissed her off. I don't blame her for it. But im really grateful for being allowed to live.

I don't usually have a lot of luck in the romance department--not now or ever--but... the more i remember him, the more i find myself wishing to go back to it. I get it, now. Again, i guess. The whole appeal of falling in love and starting a family. I really, really, didn't deserve it, but he was just... Amazing. I just wanted to make him happy. I would have done anything, but all he ever asked for was for me to stay alive. How sweet is that?

I think the worst part is that I won't find him again. I think my luck ran out. I can't even fathom attaching my name or his name to this little message because if there's even a fraction of a chance that it would disturb him, or any other version of him... I can't do that. How embarrassing, am i right?

I wasn't the picture perfect partner. i was a mess. i had so much blood on my hands. So much to make up for. I wasn't anything compared to who he had, before. She should have lived. I don't remember it, and he always said it couldn't be my fault because of that--but I was still the one that killed her. He should have wanted me dead too. And he did, at first. Things changed, obviously, but... That kind of guilt is hard to shake. Makes me feel like one of those shitty birds, who pushes eggs out of nests to replace with their own, a lazy way of guaranteeing the hatchling a good life. Im pretty sure that wasn't my intention, before that version of me died--but the results were still pretty much the same. She died, and i got the big happy family.

I know other versions of him would probably see it the same way. Probably be furious, disgusted even. It wasn't ever my plan, but to the outside eye, it could easily look that way. Like I was just using him, manipulating him with sex and acting all helpless when I had my freakouts so he could swoop in and be the hero. It wasn't, but im not stupid. Plenty of others suspected it, didn't think i even had the capacity to actually care about him. I didn't either. It took losing everything all over again to realize i couldn't keep choking back the fact that i did actually love him. It took leaving everything I knew behind. It took abandoning someone else, even though I tried to get him to come with me--because he had been the only other one to understand what it was like to be us. We were ghosts.

I don't know. None of this really matters now. I have to get up and go to work, still. Im just sad. I really wish i could be with him right now.

I miss you, ****. Please just be happy, wherever you are. That's all I want.

#fictionkinfessions #fictionkin #seekin #murder cw #blood cw #death cw #parasites cw #? #ableist language cw #abandonment cw #mod party cat

[ariminiria]

I'm curious, but may I ask what the major issues of the Hobbit trilogy were, please?

ohhh boy I could go on for ages... in fact, I think I previously made a whole post about it, let me see if I can find it

okay I couldn't find the exact post, but the two I rbed below me are a couple reasons. but, I'm going to be visiting the discord for this one bc I know I've definitely ranted about it there

but first, I want to start out by addressing an attitude I've seen since Amazon's fanfiction came out. a lot of people have started to point to the Hobbit trilogy and say, "see! it wasn't so bad! aren't you grateful for them now! we trested it so badly but we didn't know!"

to which I say: absolutely not.

more below the cut because this is gonna be loooong

that's like trying to excuse a turd in comparison to a post-taco bell night mess. one is more disgusting than the other, but at the end of the day, they're both terrible pieces of shit.

the Hobbit films didn't magically get better just because the Fanfic came out. it being worse didn't suddenly erase that trilogies flaws.

so with that clarified, let's get into what actually makes the Hobbit films so bad.

I actually think the first one is pretty good. It had potential and is easily fixable.

but movie two... it was all downhill from there.

where to begin... ah, the writing.

so, it's clear that the writing was attempting for the same tone as the original LotR trilogy. and while that may seem like a good idea on the surface, The Hobbit was written for children. the tone of the book is overall more light-hearted and adventurous. therefore, trying to force the more despairing-yet-hopeful, dark tone of the original trilogy already starts the story on the wrong foot. you get conflicting messages from the subtext because the film writers' vision is so different from the basic intent of what Tolkien wrote.

I like to say it this way: they were more interested in making a "LotR prequel" than they were in making a "Hobbit film adaptation". the Hobbit should've been one film, maybe two. but they clearly only painfully stretched it across three films like butter scraped across too much bread for the sole purpose of having just as many movies as LotR - but that one actually makes sense because the book is divided into three volumes providing natural breaking points and content enough for for three movies

now I own the extended editions of the Hobbit, literally just for the sake of owning them, and.... the first one? hardly "extended" at all. I'm pretty sure the extended Unexpected Journey is literally still shorter than the shortest THEATRICAL cut LotR film. it felt like the only material they cut was cut for the sole purpose of being able to sell an extended version.

also pardon my French but it genuinely makes me so angry-- there's this one fucking joke. this stupid. Fucking. Joke.

why would you hire a COMEDIAN to be in an epic fantasy like Tolkien?? Tolkien has funny moments but not Modern Comedian Funny.

this stupid. motherfucker. I am SO angry about this, he looked at a candelabra and fucking said MADE IN RIVENDELL??? I literally yelled over the movie for two solid minutes about that one, three word, throwaway line. it pisses me off more than the entirety of love triangle plot (we'll get to that later, don't you worry)

anways, I am taking deep breaths, I am calming down, we are forgetting about The Joke...

*ahem* now, let's talk about how the films look. first off, they filmed in 30 FPS. for context, the standard Frames Per Second is 24. 30 is typically only used for special effects such as slow mo, and even then youre better off using 60, so its essentially pointless in the end. this results in a weird, subconscious "off" feeling as you watch the movement on screen. everything just looks... not-quite-right, even if you can't put a finger on what it is.

the main visual issue is overuse of CGI. one of those posts I rbed below this has visual examples, comparing between the trilogies. namely, comparing between Lurtz and Azog the Defiler (who wasn't even in the books, btw. he was named dropped once, to say "oh yeah and Bolg, the orc leading the Orc army was the son of Azog the Defiler" and that was it).

the atrocious CGI sabotages any goodwill you mightve had for the production value.

the LotR trilogy was believable because of the well managed practical effects, with minimal and careful use of CGI. Peter Jackson said it was made like "a Kiwi indie film", and that simplistic yet passionate charm shines through The Hobbit, on the other hand, shot like any major hollywood production with approximately Zero indie charm, said "computers can do anything and everything, right?" and they just. Did That.

all the backgrounds are NOTICEABLY green screen. they're fuzzy and just. weird. im talking noticable green screen. there's even a behind the scenes set photo of Ian McKellen with his head in his hands, weeping, because he's surrounded by nothing but green fabric, without even another human actor across from him.

remember how I mentioned Azog? the orcs look like these weird, clay models that somebody ran through a computer program, and it's very distracting. not to mention, most of the orcs' acting is lost in the motion capture translation because CGI tech is constantly changing, whereas practical effects are what they are. theg stay the same and hold up consistently, making them far superior and able to last far longer, because CGI will inevitably evolve and be left in the dust (isn't that right, original Jumangi?) I once found a side-by-side gif of the original Azog actor in the motion capture suit vs the end product and I was absolutely gutted at how much of the intensity was lost. that same man, in a prosthetic effects costume? I have full confidence it would've been beautiful. but alas...

and i promised earlier that we'd talk about it, so its time to address that love triangle.

holy bad idea, Batman. you don't add OCs to someone else's work outside of fanfic period, but especially not to works like Tolkien. you just don't. heck, I even have issues with Legolas being in the Hobbit movies since he wasn't in the books! however, that could have been excused because he legitimately is Thranduil's son, and it would have been a neat fan service cameo, but with what they did to his character, it would have been better off not to have him at all. he had no business being so involved in the Plot, a simple popup in Mirkwood would've been enough

and then

then...... they had to do That. with Tauriel. Tauriel..... look, I get it, they wanted Female Representation™️, but. No. a multi billion dollar trilogy made to get money from nerds is not the place to crowd test your Dwarf/Elf/Elf love triangle fanfiction. that whole arc was also clearly time padding to have more material to justify 3 movies lol.

but, in addition, because of the love triangle/unnecessary Azog subplot combo, they ruined the depth of certain character deaths. Fili and Kili were meant to fall defending Thorin, and Thorin died three days later of his wounds, which is a huge part of his change of heart in forgiving Bilbo.

one thing that makes me laugh more than makes me angry is Kili's death. they try to make it all dramatic, like "oh no, Bolg has thrown the Strong and Dexterous Female Elf Warrior to the ground, and now he is going to kill Kili in slow motion" but like. she could have gotten up. she wasn't gravely injured, and she's like. an elf.

and it would have been so easy to fix this too, ignoring the fact that she shouldn't even exist. watch this, I'll fix it right now: she has almost fallen off the cliff, hanging on by her fingertips just the same way Gandalf did in Moria. she struggles to regain her grip to get to Kili, but before she can even get back up onto the ledge, Kili has been killed.

instead what we got: she's just like slowly writhing on the ground as Bolg deadass pauses for dramatic effect before slow mo shanking Kili with this giant spear that should have killed him instantly, but like he has enough slow mo time to gasp and groan and then finally mouth "i LoVe YoU!1!1" before mercifully perishing and escaping this trash movie. it's hilarious.

and don't even get me started on the weird sexual undertones they put between Gandalf and Galadriel, like??? that's a married woman my dude, why are she and the wizard making eyes at each other

anyways I'm sure there's more I could talk about but this is long enough as is. maybe someday I'll take all the footage of all 3 movies and edit it down into one single-film extended cut of What Could Have Been but until then I'm just going to keep rightfully trashing on this movie

#hollywood hate #tolkien

[a-god-in-ruins-rises]

when i was a kid (by "kid" i mean like 16/17/18) i used to watching the gaming group who were known as "the creatures"

i don't know why but a few nights ago i spontaneously got the idea to play minecraft for the first time in like 8 years? and it's just crazy how much has changed. but it still brings back so many memories. of me playing minecraft. but also of me watching the creatures (they played a lot of minecraft.)

part of me wants to go back and watch those old videos. but goddamn i am way too sentimental. i know i'll probably have a mental breakdown if i do. i don't know why i'm like this but i can't stomach watching old shit that means a lot to me. because i watch it and i get overwhelmed by emotions; good and bad. like me and my father used to watch certain shows as a kid and sometimes i just want to put those shows on and indulge in those old memories. but i can't. i just can't bring myself to do it. it hurts.

i just wish i could go back. i wish i could watch them for the first time again. without all of this emotional baggage. i just wish i could go back to being a kid in general. i don't know why. it's not even like i had a particularly great childhood (woe is me). maybe that's even why i want to go back so badly? i don't know.

all i know is that i'm so tempted to watch the old creature videos. i have it opened right now but i can't press play. lmao. i was listening to the old minecraft soundtrack earlier and it fucked me up. it's funny because honestly my childhood was pretty shitty for a lot of reasons. but there are things like this that mean a lot to me. it probably sounds so lame. but it's the little shit like this that i cling to. i sometimes lament that i didn't have a normal life growing up (whatever "normal" means). i used to think i missing out on so much. because while my brother was out partying, hanging with friends, playing sports, etc, i was at home all alone immersed in books and my computer.

but at the same time, i'm kind of grateful. i may have missed out on some things. but that's life. you can't do everything. i can also say my brother missed out on stuff that i didn't. he missed out on the early internet. he missed out on all of these books; the knowledge and stories within them. he missed out on all of the fascinating people i met. yeah he had a lot of friends irl, but i was meeting people from all around the country and the world. yeah society probably values the experiences of my brother more. and that's fair tbh. it's probably true that my brother's experience was more "healthy". but i do look back fondly on some stuff. i think back on my memories of playing halo 2 with my online friends. sure, i'd never meet them irl but they were still my friends. and maybe we didn't go partying together but we still spent many late nights having lots of laughs.

and i keep finding myself reminiscing about the way the internet used to be. and it sounds cringe but i have a lot of fond memories of the old internet. maybe it's fucked that so many of my memories are "virtual" but what difference does it really make? people say the internet increases loneliness but i don't agree. i don't think i would have been more social without the internet. like i said, the internet was a gateway to socialization for me. without the internet i think i probably would have been ever more antisocial and reclusive. anyway i'm just rambling now. i've moved from my original point.

i'm just saying i'm feeling really nostalgic and sentimental tonight. and i'm just musing about how so many of my fond memories are just about searching the web, chatting with friends online, watching youtube videos, playing video games, etc. i think it'd be interesting if i could compare my memory and my brother's and how different our lives have been.

[callsign-bunnie]

You know what I'm here for. I want that Gazalex AU you mentioned in a comment on your AO3 (I'm being a bad influence)

I already had this written when I received this ask, I'm not even gonna lie to you. Witch!Omega!Gaz and Pastor's Son!Alpha!Alex, smut, very very mild angst, dubcon if you squint rlly hard

--

It was June in the South, it was going to be hot. But.. fuck, did it have to be scorching? Alex was laying in just his boxers on the bed and he still felt like he could feel sweat rolling down his spine. It was a random thought, but he was so insanely grateful that his rut cycle had lined up that he wouldn’t have one until at least August. 

Even with the fan full blast, Alex still could feel the heat surrounding him and pressing down on his body, coating every inch of his skin with obnoxious warmth. His father refused to waste money on AC, so that wasn’t running and wouldn’t run until July, at least. Alex didn’t really consider this fair, since his father was older and anemic, and both Alex and his mother ran hotter than the average alphas and omegas, but whatever.

But, it was a Friday, he didn’t have work, and he had nothing else to do but lay face down on his bed in the direct airflow of a heavy duty fan he blew about half of a paycheck on, and wait for his mom to cook dinner, since he’d just had lunch. 

“Alex!” His father yelled, now banging on his door.

Wonderful.

His father was an aggressive alpha, so it was best to not keep him waiting. Instead, he got up, yanked on jean shorts and a tee shirt, and opened the door, doing his best to look polite. “Yes, sir?”

“John Price and his family are finally getting moved on, Selma Green just called me and told me. Now, as you know, his father used to be very generous to the church and town, so we want to make a good impression on him so he may continue this tradition.” His father stated, his voice gruff and his stance firm. He was pastor of the Church, so he always had to look commanding.

Alex… wished he could compare in his own, but he’d never managed. Maybe one day he would, but Alex didn’t think anyone found him intimidating or commanding. His best friend, Ghost, certainly didn’t. 

Ghost, an atheist, and Alex weren’t really supposed to be friends. Their fathers hated each other, and Ghost wore black eye makeup despite being an alpha and listened to “satanic” music. However, he was funny, really down to earth, and the only person willing to be friends with Alex. All of the other teenagers had been worried Alex would tattle on everything they did to his father, who would in turn tell theirs. But.. Alex wouldn’t. And he never did. 

Ghost had been very excited, as hard as it was to believe, about John Price moving in. Alex hadn’t had been able to get a straight answer as to why out of him, but he knew that Ghost was incredibly excited.

His father, and most of their small town, had been, as well. 

So, Alex knew exactly what his father was about to do. Regardless, he nodded. “Alright… What do you need me to do, then?”

“Go and greet them, obviously. You’re my son, it’ll be seen as an act of goodwill!” His father said, as if the answer was obvious. To be fair, it was to Alex. “Dress nice, don’t dress like a delinquent. And don’t you dare consider taking that freak Riley with you.”

Alex resisted laughing because that had been exactly what he planned to do. He was still planning to go right by Ghost’s house and see if he wanted to tag along, since he was more than sure that Ghost would. 

Instead, he solemnly nodded, ignoring the way his father’s eyes rolled, and smiled. “I will. I’ll get dressed and head right up there.”

“Good. Your mom said you can be late for dinner if you get caught up.” Alex’s father nodded, and then turned and left without another word.

Alex knew he was a disappointment to him, but he could have said goodbye.

Instead, Alex just changed his clothes as quickly as he could before rushing downstairs, kissing his mom on the cheek when he went through the kitchen. “I’ll try not to miss dinner.”

“Don’t appear rude by rushing away from them.” She immediately scolded, and Alex had to resist rolling his eyes. “We want them in the Church on Sunday, worshiping the Lord.”

“Yes, Mama.” Alex sighed, softly. She didn’t say goodbye, either, as he left, and he just shook it off as he went to his car, sliding into the driver’s seat. It was a nice car, the Pastor’s Son couldn’t be driving a clunker around. Before he got driving, he called Ghost. Both were the same age, too, and had gone to high school, together. But, Ghost lived alone, and Alex still lived with his parents.

He’d move out, eventually, hopefully sooner rather than later, but for now… It was just more convenient to stay at home. For the most part, unless he was being pushed to make a good impression on the town’s people, he was left alone by them. More alone than he’d like to be. 

“I’m guessing this call has nothing to do with John Price finally arriving?”

Alex laughed, immediately, since Ghost knew him, or likely his father, very well. “Do you want to go, or not?”

“Obviously I want to go, Keller. God.”

Alex winced at the small amount of blasphemy and then laughed, again, as Ghost hung up the phone, starting to drive finally. He didn’t really know where he stood on God. He’d like him to exist, he thought it might sound nice. But… a lot of things added up less and less. 

Ghost lived fairly close by, right on the edge of town, in a small apartment building. It was a nice little building and Ghost had already offered for Alex to move in with him when he finally moved out, but… if Alex moved out, he was leaving this town. He was getting far away from there. Maybe he’d move to the coast, live right by the ocean. He didn’t know, he hardly cared. 

Ghost was sitting on the curb as Alex slowed by the apartment, and he immediately got up and jogged to Alex’s car, getting in the passenger seat. Neither greeted the other save for a short nod, before Alex was getting back on the road to John Price’s house. “I’ve heard he has three omegas with him. Two that are his kids, one that isn’t.”

“Rodolfo.” Ghost answered, nodding. “He’s under the old man’s care.”

“You know him??” Alex asked, surprised. “Why didn’t you say anything?”

“Know is a strong word. But… Sort of. And, I didn’t want your dad to find out.” Ghost sighed. “I knew you wouldn’t have told but…”

Yeah, Alex’s dad had a few ways of finding things out if Alex knew them. Went through his phone, which was why Ghost and Alex only called, talked to anyone he talked to. Hell, the others had been more likely to tell on Alex, rather than the other way around. So, Alex couldn’t find himself being that angry about it. “I get it.” Alex sighed, softly, and then shook his head. “So, what else do you know?”

“He’s older than he looks.”

Alex glanced at Ghost, raising an eyebrow, but he was only met with a shrug. “Cryptic. Great.” Alex shook his head, sighing. “Anything else?”

“His sons are named Kyle and Gary, both are omegas, but they go by Gaz and Roach. Both are adopted.”

“Ah.” Alex frowned, since that wasn’t really much to go off of. “How do you know them?”

“I know Roach, not his father.” Ghost answered, turning to look out the window, and Alex started to understand. Ghost must have something with Roach… but what? Both were only 18, he doubted Ghost would have had time to formulate anything too deep. 

Even still, he understood that he wasn’t going to get much more out of Ghost, so Alex just turned the radio on, falling silent and leaning back in his seat as he continued to drive on to John Price’s house.

As he approached the open gate that led to the estate, house was less and less accurate of a descriptor in his mind. Instead, he realized it was a massive Manor, which sat atop an equally massive hill. It was a gorgeous property, surrounded by peach trees, which was Alex’s favorite fruit. 

As they approached the house, he could see the massive moving truck that had people carrying boxes inside, already. Alex carefully parked, jumping as Ghost was immediately out of the car, and he shook his head, also getting up and putting on his best welcoming smile as he approached an older man.

However, the closer he got, the more he realized what Ghost’s statement meant. The man looked hardly older than 30, and with few wrinkles on his face. Even still, this face broke into a smile as they approached. “Hello,” Alex greeted, keeping his smile, “I’m Alex Keller. My father is the pastor at the Church. He wanted me to come up and say hello.”

“Ah.” John Price smiled, shaking his hand when Alex offered it. “I’m John Price, I know your father. Yes, yes, it’s nice to meet you.”

Alex relaxed, since he seemed nice enough. If Alex had had to go through this whole spiel with someone who was a massive asshole, he might have had a problem. 

He glanced around, taking in everything that was around them. The moving truck was standard, just bigger than any that Alex had ever seen, and John Price was quick to go back to giving directions. However, a blonde woman, who looked much closer to the age of 39 that Price was supposed to be, was leaning against a Cadillac, smoking a cigarette. Alex approached her, smelling cigarette smoke and alpha, and offered his hand. “It’s nice to meet you.”

“It’s nice to meet you, too.” She answered, smiling. Her eyes, however, told Alex she already knew him in a very odd way. Her eyes told him that they were simply meeting again after years of being apart, but… he knew that wasn’t possible. Even still, there was almost something paternal in the way she shook his hand, and he noted that her skin was ice cold, even in the heat. “My name is Kate Laswell.”

“I’m Alex.” Alex repeated and nodded. “Are you friends with John Price?”

“Best friends.” She nodded. “My wife is already inside, resting, or she’d come out and greet you.” 

Alex nodded in understanding, “that’s alright.”

Kate laughed, softly, “I’ve never had issues with the heat, but my wife does. I sympathize for you both. She also runs hotter than usual.”

Ghost’s real name suddenly floated through the air, tickling the hair on the back of Alex’s neck and then floating down his spine in a very odd and uncomfortable way. It lingered in his head and he didn’t understand why on earth he’d suddenly be having the thought of Simon on his mind. 

However, it was good that he did, as Ghost was moving to the Cadillac, as a window rolled down and then a face was poking out of it. An omega, beautiful to a surprising extent, had laid his arms on the door, and laid his face on his arms, and was watching Ghost move to him. His hair was blonde, but more of a pink blonde, and his face was dusted with an assortment of freckles. His eyes were green, and so were the flowing sleeves of a dress that Alex could see as his arms rested on the car door. He wore a face mask across the bottom of his face, but amusement was across his eyes, as well as a soft affection. 

Ghost’s face was one of awe, and he opened the door, while the omega reached his arms up. This must be Roach, Alex was realizing, as Ghost lifted the omega out of the car, bridal style. Alex had never seen Ghost this way, gently carrying the omega up to the house and seemingly being careful of the long green sleeves. Neither spoke, but Alex would swear they were moving as if they were conversing, and then Ghost was throwing his head back and laughing loud, and Alex wasn’t quite sure he understood. 

Even still, his attention was immediately pulled back to the car as the door shut, slamming, and now another omega was leaning against it and watching him. This omega had a bit more of a severe expression on his face, one of distrust and almost dislike. He wore cut off shorts, a tee shirt that was far too big for him and in an alpha’s style, and these massive boots which Alex could imagine would hurt to get kicked by. 

“I’m Rodolfo.” The omega said. He did not put his hand out, and neither did Alex. His eyes were brown, his hair was brown, and his skin was deep tan. He was… just as beautiful as Roach had been, but it was in a frightening way. Alex found himself knowing he would do anything the omega asked, even if at a great personal cost to himself. He didn’t like that, very much. 

So, all Alex did was nod and reply, “I’m Alex.”

Then, Rodolfo pushed himself off the car and he pushed past Alex, a smile breaking across his face and Alex’s eyes followed him as he walked up to an alpha that Alex swore wasn’t there, before. The alpha was also dark skinned, with bright brown eyes, close to red, and black hair. His arms and neck were coated by tattoos, and he looked close to Alex’s age, as did Rodolfo. “Alejandro…” Rodolfo murmured, and the alpha’s arms wrapped around him. 

Alex immediately took note of matching tattoos, some odd symbol on the back of Alejandro’s hand that was on the side of Rodolfo’s neck, right where a thumb would rest if one’s throat was being gripped. The imagery was odd, but Alex was starting to realize this family was… very odd.

“Mi hermoso… mi querido…” Alejandro murmured, tilting Rodolfo’s head up and kissing him deeply. 

Alex felt uncomfortable watching them, turning away and back to Kate Laswell, before realizing she was just gone, no longer near the cadillac. However, when his mind decided that maybe he shouldn’t bother them and just leave, he was hearing a door on the opposite side of the car open, and then one final omega was getting out.

The minute Alex’s eyes landed on him, he felt as if the air was knocked from his lungs. Their eyes met, and a cold shiver ran down the back of Alex’s neck as the omega came around the car to get closer to him. His expression wasn’t smiling like Roach’s had been, but it wasn’t severe like Rodolfo’s, instead looking almost shy. His features were soft, mostly his eyes were, a soft warm brown. His skin was very dark, unbroken, and he had long braids that cascaded over his shoulders. 

He wore a white blouse that hung off his shoulders, and a pale cream set of tailored pants. The skin on his shoulders was smooth and several images of Alex running his mouth over it, tasting everything the omega was made of, ran through his mind. He wanted to shake it off and ignore it, but it was harder and harder as the omega came close, his eyes flitting away from Alex’s face when he was in front of him. “It’s nice to meet you…” The omega’s voice was soft, shy, and Alex adored it. “I’m Kyle, but everyone calls me Gaz.”

Alex was quick to offer a hand, which Gaz took and shook, and Alex noted two white pairs of gloves on his hands. “I’m Alex. Everyone calls me that.” He offered the joke, finding himself desperate to impress the omega. And, in fact, pride filled his chest as the omega laughed and flushed softly. 

He was so beautiful, his eyes were soft, and his lashes had dropped so he was looking at Alex through them, but his brown eyes were still visible through the dark, long lashes he had. The way those eyes looked at him did very odd things to Alex’s stomach and now he was caught between never wanting to leave and desperately running away. 

Alex’s eyes dropped to the omega’s lips, and he so badly wanted them on his own. “It’s… It’s nice to meet you.” Alex said, a little lamely, but he had nothing else he could think to say, and he wanted to keep talking to Gaz. 

“It’s nice to meet you, too.” Gaz finally smiled at him, and then his attention was stolen from Alex by his name being called. 

Alex turned and saw John Price was standing on the front porch, a wrap around kind, and finally Alex’s eyes took in the features of the house. A gorgeous emerald green with black and gold accenting. Ivy traveled up some of the walls, and Alex realized the heat must have been getting to him because he swore some of the flowers on the ivy bloomed before his eyes. 

“Ask Alex if he’d like to stay for dinner!” Price continued to call.

Alex winced, though he would definitely love to. But… he could be late, but his mom would be pissed if he ate dinner at another house when she was planning on him being home. He knew his dad likely wouldn’t eat with them, anyway. Alex wondered whose house he would be at, which omega.

So, he shook his head. “I can’t.” He answered, to Gaz, even though Gaz hadn’t asked him. “I should get home.”

Gaz then frowned, his expression turning disappointed. “You can’t?” Alex almost immediately took it back and said fuck it, stayed for dinner, anyway. He wanted to, he wanted to so bad. But… he really couldn’t.

“No, I’m sorry.” Alex winced, hoping his tone conveyed that enough. “Maybe another day?”

“I’d like that.” Gaz softened, immediately, and his smile came back, and Alex was starting to come up with ideas on how to keep it there. “I’ll hold you to it.”

“I expect nothing less.” Alex half grinned, and then he was having to leave. Once he got to the car, though, it occurred to him that he should be trying to get them to come to church, but… when he turned back around to call it out to them, he saw they were all gone.

Huh.

Must have already gone inside.

-

In the weeks that followed, Alex had not had a single night where he didn’t dream about Gaz. He woke up, often, with his name on his lips and his eyes fading from his memory. It was torture and euphoria in the worst ways and Alex found himself not wanting it to end and desperately wishing to be free at the same time.

He hadn’t been able to find opportunity to go and see the omega, either, or any of his family, either, though he wasn’t sure if that would make the dreams easier or worse. 

The worst part was their sexual nature. Alex, again, didn’t know where he stood on God, but he did know that, regardless, they filled him with shame. He wished he could stop waking up covered in sweat, the taste of honeysuckle and peach tea on his tongue, rutting into the bed. No, he’d never indulged much in fantasies over omegas, maybe that was contributing to it.

Ghost had ribbed on him, a few times, for being a virgin, and he had no doubts that it was making the dreams worse. But, what was Alex supposed to do?

The town had started to talk, too. Not about Alex, thankfully, but about John Price and his family. Alex’s father waved it all to the side, told his church members not to indulge in gossip but… Alex had heard the words thrown around. Demons… Witches… Warlock.

It didn’t take long for a rumor to catch and spread like a wildfire, even the most ridiculous of them like these. But, there were rumors that John Price and Kate Laswell were powerful warlocks, that they were only moving back to their town, not that they were brand new inhabitants. 

That Kyle, Rodolfo, and Roach all took part in demented sex rituals, that they sacrificed animals to their lord, Satan. That they sacrificed alphas.

As Alex had said, ridiculous. But… he couldn’t find himself completely denying the rumors, either. Obviously they were bullshit, witches, warlocks, and demons didn’t exist. At the very least, witches and warlocks didn’t. But… he couldn’t deny how odd they were… The weird things that had happened when he met them. Nothing too inconspicuous but… some of it was very odd.

But Alex didn’t believe in those things. 

He didn’t.

Right?

He awoke, again, with the taste of honeysuckle and peach tea on his tongue, with Kyle’s eyes fading from his memory, the touch of his fingers ghosting over his back, to the suffocating heat of another night in the South in July. It wasn’t the type of heat he desperately wanted around his body, on his body. 

This was slowly becoming unbearable, Alex could hardly take much more of it. He wasn’t sure what was worse, being tormented by the dreams or waking up from them. Did he want them to leave him alone or did he want to lose himself to them, sink into them and never return? 

The sun was hardly rising, it was barely five in the morning, and it’d be another day that Alex had nothing to do. Even still, it was already hot, and Alex felt like he was drenched in his own sweat. Maybe he’d take a cool shower, and go back to bed. Fall back into the dreams. 

His name floated through the air, it ghosted over his back, tracing the outlines of his shoulder blades, before sinking deep into him and images of Kyle flooded his mind, a mix of when they met and imagery from the dreams. It was an odd feeling, like he was being called, but where was he being called to?

Maybe a cold shower was the best idea.

However, as he forced himself up from his bed, his own name embraced him, again, tugging him to the window, where he noticed there was a fair breeze drifting through the brand new screen. They were privacy screens, close to black, meant to help keep the sun from their rooms. He could see the very thing just starting to peek over the horizon, though a crowd of clouds said they would soon be there to block it out.

Hurricane season. 

Crouching, Alex looked out the window, unsurprised to find nothing was there. He had to have been imagining it, the dreams must have been affecting him in more ways than one. His name, again.

This time, Alex found the urge to grab his car keys and drive. He was confident, if he went out to his car and got in it, he’d know exactly where to drive, exactly where to go. But… would he go?

One word entered his mind… Please…

Who was Alex to deny such a request? He’d given into sillier. So, he yanked clothes on, a tee shirt and shorts, and he grabbed his keys, heading down the stairs before jumping back as he saw his father was sitting at the table, his hands folded together as if he was praying. 

“Alex.” His father spoke and then his eyes were opening and they looked at Alex. “Where are you going?”

A million excuses ran through Alex’s head and a million excuses escaped his mind. “Just… for a drive.” He settled on, though he knew he could have made a much faster and better lie. “It’s… hot and I’m having trouble sleeping.”

His father clearly did not believe him. But, he wasn’t stopped and Alex rushed out to his car that much faster, finding some irrational need to make up for lost time. He was right that his mind new exactly where to go, taking each turn on pure instinct until he made it to John Price’s estate, and he was driving up the hill to the house.

Why was he here?

He didn’t know, but he didn’t plan to leave. Indeed, he stepped out of the car, seeing that the house was brightly lit in the still barely rising sun, but he didn’t find himself going up to the door. Instead, he found himself on a trail to the woods that sat on the property, following fireflies that danced in front of his eyes as he walked down the winding trail.

He wasn’t surprised to find Gaz was at the end of it, nor could he saw he was surprised at turning around and seeing there had been no such trail. What did surprise him was the small pond that Kyle sat at the edge of, surrounded by massive blooming flowers. The scent of honeysuckle and peaches flooded the air, surrounding him, caressing his skin. 

“You answered my call.” Gaz said, though his back was to Alex. “You said you’d come back and see me.”

Alex could only feel guilt, as he had promised he would. “I’m… sorry. I’ve been busy.” A lie, he just hadn’t found a good excuse. “I meant to visit.” Did he?

Gaz slowly turned to look at Alex, and Alex moved forward, sinking to his knees beside the omega. “I’m here, now.” Alex said, softly, and he softened at the small smile that appeared on Gaz’s face. 

The omega was beautiful, ethereally beautiful, frighteningly beautiful. Another blouse, just a blouse, this one loose and hanging even farther off his shoulders, and Alex let his eyes trace over every inch of skin, knowing with confidence that it would taste exactly how the omega smelled, of honeysuckle and peach.

Then the omega was leaning towards Gaz and Alex couldn’t find it in himself to deny himself the pleasure of leaning forward, placing his lips on Gaz’s collarbone, and finding he was right about the taste. Gaz’s hand reached up and placed itself on the back of Alex’s head, pulling him closer. Alex moved and pulled Gaz close, tasting over every bit of skin that he could reach. 

The scent and taste flooded every scent he had, eliciting a growl from his chest before he could help it, and he found he didn’t care much from the soft mewl Gaz made before he was melting. The omega was perfect, everything Alex thought an omega ought to be and he wanted every sound he could get from the omega. 

Too soon, however, Gaz was pushing at his head, and though he didn’t want to, he pulled away, trying not to make his disappointment evident. Gaz smiled, sweetly, at him and he cupped Alex’s face, and the touch made Alex’s stomach flip flop. “Come into the water with me…” Gaz murmured, with all of the sweet allure of a siren asking a sailor to drown himself.

Alex didn’t refuse, on his feet immediately. He watched the omega stand and undress himself before he stepped into the water, a beautiful soft blush appearing on his skin before Alex was quick to undress as well, following his siren into the water. He knew, if Gaz tried to drown him, he wouldn’t stop him.

Thankfully, the omega didn’t try to drown him, instead moving to Alex and kissing him, soft and sweet. Alex would admit that he didn’t really know what he was doing, but he didn’t care, his mouth finding the movements, anyway. He was gentle as he pushed Gaz back into a rock, noting that the water hardly reached midthigh for both of them, but it did oddly shimmer in the corner of his eyes. 

It was pleasantly cool, too, and Alex found all of the uncomfortable heat dissipated in his body, and as he looked down when Gaz pulled away, everywhere the water touched on the omega’s body revealed iridescent swirling symbols traveling up his body. The omega met his eyes before Gaz was dropping down to sink into the water, impossibly submerging himself before returning. 

When he resurfaced, his body was coated in the symbols, a language Alex couldn’t recognize but could read easily, making out protection and health over his skin. His hair shimmered, too, and his ears had morphed into pointed tips, his lips were purple, and his eyes were now a very warm brown, glowing honey in the still rising sun. 

Alex couldn’t tell you how long this sunrise had lasted. 

“You are… beautiful…” Alex murmured, reaching out to touch the omega, grasping him and pulling him close, again. He wanted the omega to be as close as possible, he wanted them inside each other. 

Gaz didn’t respond, instead pressing himself against Alex, who reveled in the feeling of their skin pressed against each other’s. He again pressed Gaz back up against the rock from before, moving his mouth to his neck again, making sure to remain quiet in order to drink in every sound that was made. He taught himself with each noise, making note of the spots that got the loudest reactions. He traced certain words with his tongue, erasing chaste and pure. 

The smell of slick hit him, bringing his arousal to the height of what it could be. Instinct took over and he pushed Gaz to turn over, making a pleased sound when the omega did as prompted, bracing himself on the rock. Alex’s fingers felt over Gaz’s body before they found his wet heat, sinking inside eagerly. 

Gaz moaned, his head leaning back, and Alex had yet to see a painting that invoked such feeling that this sight did. His chest was warm, goosebumps traveled up his skin, and he got the very distinct feeling that he and Gaz were bound together in some divine way that neither got a choice in. But… he didn’t think he minded so much. 

Alex found the motions that kept Gaz moaning, quickly, training his eyes on every single thing the omega did. Every whimper, every tremble, every gasp. He wanted to memorize it all, he wanted it to be there when he closed his eyes. He didn’t dare speak, he didn’t want to interrupt him.

Too soon, though, the omega grew impatient, his hips pushing back against Alex’s hand. “My alpha-” Kyle’s alpha, “please… I need you, I-” His voice broke ever so slightly, and guilt and pride mixed together in Alex’s chest. He’d done that to the omega.

Alex wouldn’t deny him, though, moving forward and kissing Gaz’s shoulder. It did finally occur to him that God might frown upon Alex, should he see Alex committing the same sin his father had preached against from the pulpit. He and Gaz were not married but… Alex also thought that if God witnessed the pure divinity in Kyle’s touch, he might look the other direction. 

Could God, himself, resist this? Alex didn’t think he could. 

He pumped his fingers a few more times before finally pulling them out, kissing Gaz’s shoulder to sooth him as he whimpered, his hips chasing Alex’s hand. “I’ve got you, baby.”

The omega just melted under Alex’s grasp, and he had a feeling it had to do with his words. Alex found himself smiling, mouthing over some previously made marks, carefully. It didn’t take much effort for Alex to push in, Gaz’s body gladly accepting him. He fit perfectly inside, nestling right up to Gaz’s back wall, and having to rest his forehead where he had just been mouthing over. 

He would admit to jerking off a few times, but God, it didn’t compare to this. Gaz was so tight and hot around him, and he wrapped his arms around him, pulling him close to he could push deeper into him, panting softly. “We fit together…” Gaz acknowledged, his own voice breathy, the sensation of being full seemingly just as new. Alex wasn’t stupid, he knew what the words he’d erased meant. 

Alex could only breathe an agreement, though he wholeheartedly did so. Carefully, not wanting to hurt his omega, he started to slide out, listening to Gaz whimper again, before he was quick to push back in, both moaning together. So, he set a pace. Slow out, quick in. It was torture, but he wanted to be careful, he didn’t want to hurt him.

When he did try to pull away slightly, worried he was gripping Gaz too tightly, Gaz made a distressed sound, yanking him close again, so Alex only held him tighter, wrapping his hands around the hips they had landed on, on opposite sides. He bit and marked over Gaz’s shoulders as he quickened his pace, too desperate so his self control was slipping.

But, Gaz didn’t seem to mind, if the growing volume of his moans said anything. The omega dropped forward onto his elbows, continuing to brace himself on the stone, and Alex couldn’t move with him, as the new angle allowed him even deeper, which he so desperately wished to be. Instead, he ran his hands down and over Kyle’s back, admiring the sight in front of him. He liked the way Gaz’s waist dipped in, evoking the same shape as a violin in Alex’s head.

Indeed, he liked playing Gaz’s body, seeing what noises came from which actions. 

When his body started to tense and he could feel a building knot, it was with disappointment that he moved away. However, he was startled to be pushed down into the water, Kyle sinking back down onto his cock as Alex’s ass hit the bottom of the pond. “I need your knot, please!” Gaz cried, his expression almost akin to betrayal as he now faced Alex.

“I- I’m sorry, I didn’t think you’d want that.” Alex was quick to apologize, feeling awful for denying Gaz. “I’m sorry, baby. I’ll knot you, I won’t pull out.”

“Don’t you dare.” Gaz nodded, and his hands fell on Alex’s shoulders, before he was lifting up and slamming back down onto Alex’s cock. 

Alex could only curse, wrapping his arms back around the omega’s middle as Gaz started to ride him. Gaz clearly had less patience and self restraint than Alex, because his pace denied nothing from either, causing both’s orgasms to build up quickly before Alex was biting into Gaz’s neck as his knot formed, and then Gaz was spasming around him, milking Alex for all he had. 

Alex knew what Gaz wanted, when his hand moved to Alex’s head and pushed it deeper into the crook of his neck, and he gladly obliged, biting harder until his teeth broke the skin over where his mating spot was. Gaz didn’t cry out like Alex had seen other omegas do at mating ceremonies, instead he melted right into Alex, practically the same matter as the pond in Alex’s hands. 

When Alex pulled away, Gaz was quick to match the mark on Alex’s neck, acting with such speed that it seemed almost that he was worried Alex would stop him. But, Alex wouldn’t dare, moving his head to oblige the omega, and trying not to dig his nails in at the pure euphoria that invaded his body from the bite. 

He wasn’t quite sure what happened next, he just had a few memories of dragging him and Gaz out of the water and back onto dry land, and then they were in a bed formed from a massive flower. It was soft and sweet smelling, and somehow there was a blanket and pillows, but Alex wasn’t going to start questioning things now.

He nuzzled into the warmth of Gaz’s neck, grateful that he was still too swollen to separate from him. “What are you?” He finally asked, curious only because they were fully mated.

Gaz didn’t answer, though his hand reached up to stroke over Alex’s hair. “A witch but.. I’m not evil.”

“I don’t think you could be.”

“No, I’m… not. Price is a demon, he gave me his blood, so I am his adopted son. So is Roach. As such, we have gifts. Roach has the gift of the wind…”

“And you have plants, I’m guessing?” Alex finally moved his head to look up at Gaz, seeing a soft sheepish smile was on his face. He nodded, to confirm, and Alex “ahhed” before putting his face back in his neck. A cool breeze ran over his skin and he shivered, slightly. 

Gaz continued to speak. “He can talk to people without opening his mouth. The… gifts took things from us. We were dying when he found us, he saved us. It took Roach’s voice, as the wind always does.”

“What… was taken from you?” Alex frowned, looking up at Gaz.

Gaz went silent, his expression forlorn. “I can’t have children. That’s what the earth takes.”

Alex frowned, looking in himself to see what he felt but… he didn’t care. He didn’t particularly want them, hell he could barely stand them, so… ultimately, it didn’t matter to him. “So… Roach called me, not you.”

“He did, but I asked him to.” Gaz confirmed, returning to stroking over Alex’s hair. “We’re… soulmates. I needed you to mate me before the next blue moon which is…”

“Tomorrow.” Alex realized, remembering some whispers from superstitious town members.

Gaz nodded. “I was desperate… I almost worried you wouldn’t come, but you did.”

“I knew it was you calling me.” Alex shrugged, his eyes meeting Gaz’s. “Anything you asked, I would have done. You could have drowned me, I wouldn’t have struggled.”

“I would never drown you.” Gaz frowned, immediately shaking his head. “I love you…”

Alex softened. “I love you, too…” He leaned forward, pressing a soft kiss to Gaz’s lips. “Are… Ghost and Roach like us?” He asked, when he pulled away, and he softened at the nod. “I’d never seen Ghost like that, before.”

“He scares me.” Gaz admitted, before tugging Alex back to where he’d been resting, which Alex gladly obliged. “But… Roach adores him. They met last summer. Separating has been painful for them, I know, but both seem happy together.”

“He hasn’t talked to me much.” Alex answered. He hadn’t been that upset, half distracted by his dreams and also knowing that he was likely with Roach. He was happy for Ghost, he knew Ghost was lonely. “What about Rodolfo and… Alejandro?”

“They’re different.” Gaz shook his head. “Rudy was born mateless because his family promised their first omega child to Alejandro’s father, a very powerful incubus. However, before Rodolfo presented, he was killed by a group of demon hunters. A demon’s contract, however, is nearly impossible to break. According to it, Rodolfo then passed down to his son, Alejandro, who would have been the same age. Alejandro, himself, can’t break the ownership. But… I don’t think either mind. Alejandro has given Rodolfo blood and Rodolfo is very powerful with his many, many gifts.”

Alex frowned, unsure how he felt about that. But.. it wasn’t really his business. “I’d give you gifts, if I can.”

“You did…” Gaz murmured, taking Alex’s hand. “Since we mated before tomorrow, we’re connected in the most intimate ways. It’ll grow the longer we’re mated. That’s the most perfect gift you can give me.”

Alex found himself blushing dark and he nuzzled the fresh mating mark, watching the symbols start to fade on Gaz’s skin. It was disappointing, but… he had had a feeling they couldn’t stay forever. “What did the water do?”

“I feel safer in the pond… It protects us from harm… I… I was anxious.” Gaz looked away, which Alex didn’t like, gently making Gaz look at him, again. “I thought I’d be more confident in the pond.”

“Were you?” Alex asked, picking up one of Gaz’s braids and twisting it between his fingers. 

Gaz nodded, and the sun finally had risen enough to shine on his skin, and Alex noted a shimmer was still there. “Will you stay with me, forever?”

“Longer than.” Alex promised, not even needing to think about it. He knew, soon, he’d have to worry about the repercussions. He knew the people would say things about the supposed witch managing to trick the Pastor’s son into mating him… 

Fire. Screaming, begging. 

Alex’s eyes flashed to Gaz’s, the imagery pervading his brain. He was met with a soft concern, but… Gaz’s eyes knew. He knew there was no other way this could end but with flames. Alex could only tense, his panic building, but Gaz was quick to soothe him, cradling Alex’s head back into his neck. “Shhh, my alpha… That won’t be for a very long while. We can’t avoid it, but we will survive it. I know it.”

Would they?

Alex couldn’t say he fully believed it, but he wasn’t a seer or prophet. He couldn’t say what would happen, he only knew it was inevitable, but he still yanked Gaz as close as possible. “I won’t let them burn you.”

“I won’t burn.” Gaz murmured, soothingly. “Price knows about it, he’s going to fix it. We’ll be okay, my love. We will survive.”

Alex pulled the omega as close as he physically could, feeling the sun’s heat slowly dissipate until he was uncovering his face to see the flower had closed around him. He didn’t know much about flowers, he didn’t know what kind it was but… it was suddenly his favorite. He wanted to remain locked inside of it forever, with Kyle. “Why… why did you guys move here?” He finally asked, wanting to distract himself. 

“The pond.” Gaz frowned. “The pond and the house. We have a few around the world. One in Britain, one in a country named Urzikstan. We won’t be able to stay here forever. But… I had something, here, that I needed to come for.”

Alex knew Gaz was talking about him. “Why can’t we leave, then? The people won’t be able to burn you, then.”

“It’s not so simple. Traveling takes… a lot. We need to be here for at least a year.” Gaz murmured, his tone regretful. 

Alex didn’t like that, but he didn’t voice it. Instead, he just moved on to another question. “What is Kate Laswell?”

“Another demon. Her wife is a witch, as well.” Gaz answered, smiling. “She teaches us.”

“Ah.” Alex murmured, moving to trace his finger over some of the still remaining words on Gaz’s stomach. Sleep tugged at the corners of his mind, and when Gaz snuggled in to get comfortable, Alex did the same. When he woke up, he’d start to worry about how he would deal with this. For now? He would sleep.

He would sleep, comfortable in Gaz’s arms, feeling happy where he belonged.

--

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[aboutagirl4031]

I fell fucking hard for you at a time I promised myself to shut my heart off, I was scared but also walked into it blindly. Everything you did pulled me in more, i couldn’t deny it any longer.

I like when your mean or when your mad but I really like how good you are to me, all of the ways you’ve made my life better and how you’ve supported me without a second thought. It’s foolish really…to love you.

It’s worth it to me,

I’ve been holding back for long enough, even if you break my heart I’d still be grateful. Ive never had a man care about me so much, I’ve never had a man love me the way you do. It’s scary how I’d do anything for you.

It’s a dangerous game to play.

I appreciate all the time and energy you’ve put into me, the way you hold me and touch me, so sweet compared to the man I see go throughout his day. God I fucking love you.

I cherish the way you melt in my arms and make me feel safe, I don’t wanna let go. I hate leaving your side but it makes it that much sweeter when I see you again. I’m not tough, I love you. You make me smile, you are the reason I live so good now. I could never have too much of you. I miss the way you taste late at night, when I’m in bed restless or when I’m busy during the day, you are all that clouds my heart. I’d give it to you if you’d just let me. I don’t wanna hurt you, I’ve made my mind up already. I wanna love you for a very long time, I want to give you every second of my heart. It’s been you the moment I got you, I’ve never been with a man before. You are everything and so much more,

your an original, you don’t care what everyone else is doing. Your hands are tough and you understand the way the world works, you have an amazing philosophy on life and you can love like no other. You’ve lived.

I wish you could feel what I feel for you, I wish I could find the right words when I’m with you, I’ve never met somebody who made me trip up on words and forget what I’m saying so much in my life, I’m articulate but lord do you make my head spin.

I love it when you go on about your life, when you say too much too soon or when you think I’m tired of hearing you talk, I love when you feel stupid around me and I love when you pick fights with me when I need it. Your a good man, I love the way you notice every little thing about me…down to my habits and needs. Ive never had somebody notice me the way you do. You see every part of me and it makes me feel so validated, I feel like I can do anything with your love.

[snowywanderer]

He Who Walks in the Shadows, and He Who Loves the Dark

Chapter 4: Rain or Shine, I Don’t Feel a Thing

Words: 749

Warnings: Depictions of abuse

Description: Lore.

—

The streets of the city are gray and cold. Few spare so much as a glance in Dianthus’s direction. Even when he pauses at a restaurant, most people seem to keep to themselves or the group they came with. It’s a far cry from Mondstadt’s taverns at night, or even just Good Hunter around mealtime.

Dianthus still doesn’t know exactly where he’s going, but he figures he’ll be able to find something out.

She’s screaming again.

He manages to pick up certain things from hushed conversations in the streets.

“You’re not good for anything!”

He cringes, barely able to prevent his stinging eyes from spilling tears. She seemed fine just moments ago. All he wanted was to try and speak to her. It’s al he’s ever wanted.

Instead, she escalated everything. It’s something she seems to be good at lately.

The snow is piled up by the sides of the roads. He’s heard Dragonspine is pretty cold, and despite never having been there he thinks it’s take compared to this.

He shakes his head. He’s found information on how to get into the Fatui, and that’s what matters. He’s going to find the man.

“Stop!”

She won’t. She tells him it was a mistake to fight all these years to keep him. She says thing after thing with what feels like the sole intent to hurt him.

People in uniforms ask him a million questions and have him perform a million tasks. His head is blurry but his mouth and body move on their own.

She doesn’t mean it, right? That’s something he’s been telling himself for a while now, but he’s not sure anymore.

“Shut the fuck up.”

He knows he didn’t do so well on the physical tests, but he feels in his heart they’ll find something for him.

“What did you say?”

His eyes are wide open, a smile spread across his face. “I said—“

“Are you serious? I’ve done so much for you and I get this? You should be grateful I’m allowing you to stay under my roof.”

He’s still a kid! It’s her duty to do so.

He finds a hotel to stay at for a while.

He’s not sure if the Fatui have a certain place they stay while they remain in Snezhnaya. He doesn’t know if they’ll let him in for that matter.

“If you don’t want me around,” she continues icily, “then I won’t be.”

He’s accepted.

She slams the door. He trembles like a leaf.

Sure enough, he has a place to stay with the other Fatui. They’re giving him a desk job rather than one in the field. It makes sense to him at least. Still, they’re going to train him to be ready if he’s needed elsewhere.

He isn’t sure she’s even alive until she returns hours later.

A tall ginger man talks to him and the other recruits about expectations and battle. The man’s eyes don’t shine, but fighting seems to awaken something in him. He asks the recruits, one by one, to fight him. Many are breathless by the time they’re done, but the man doesn’t seem affected.

She acts like nothing happened. Days on, he expects she’ll talk about it eventually. She doesn’t.

“You got your assignment, right?” A woman asks in hushed tones in the dining hall. “I’m so lucky— I’m not entirely sure what Sandrone is like, but at least it wasn’t Scaramouche.”

His heart sinks. “What’s he like? And if, hypothetically, I were assigned under him, how fucked would I be?”

The woman tilts her head, not expecting his apparent lack of knowledge. Still, she hesitantly fills him in.

He’s an adult now, and her episodes have fizzled off in frequency. Still, they left wounds in him that he isn’t sure will ever heal. People around him speak kindly of her and he’s too scared to correct them. She doesn’t speak of the events after all, so who’s to say he didn’t just imagine them?

People seem to fear and despise Lord Scaramouche. From the stories, he doesn’t blame them. Yet, when they meet, his eyes widen. The man has as sharp a tongue as he was said to have, but there’s something else about him.

Indigo hair frames his pale face. His eyes sparkle brightly enough to make up for the ginger’s dead ones. Most importantly, his outfit and hat give away who he is.

Who would’ve thought the man he met in the woods weeks ago was a Harbinger?

#snowy writes #dianthus oc #scaramouche x oc #oc x canon #mind the warnings #but hey at least scaranthus interaction next chapter #probably

[dustvoid]

September 23rd. 2022

it does feel strange to be home. it still feels really bizarre. I feel like everything has changed and a year has passed. At the same time everything still feels the same. Going overseas doesn't magically fix everything that was wrong before you left. Everything you left behind is still waiting for you when you come back. I feel so lost. I feel so confused all the time. I don’t need anyone, I want someone. I don't care at all, I care so much that it still hurts. I don't know what I’m doing with my life and I still feel stuck. this just isn't how I imagined it would be. I feel like I've wasted so much of my time already that I shouldn't be wasting. time wasted on a relationship that was worthless in the end. time wasted on just working in a dead end job when I should have been aiming for more. Now I feel like it is too late. I know it isn't, but it is hard not to compare when we are currently in a world where everyone under 25 already has 3 businesses on the go. Sure they are probably struggling just as much, I just feel like I could be doing more. I do have this internship coming up that I am excited but extremely nervous for, I honestly thought I had messed up the interview that there wasn't a chance of getting it, although now I am slightly regretting it as I’m going to have around 12 hour days with the travel time to get there and back. it is only for 6 weeks but its going to be a rough 6 weeks. I also don’t really know anything about what I’ll have to be doing, but hopefully I'll learn. You have to start somewhere. I saw them at the Billie concert last night and it just hurt. my heart dropped. I had a feeling I would see them and I'll admit I was looking for him because I just wanted to get it over with, but seeing them together hurt the most. I should have known that of course he would parade him around in front of me any chance he gets, and that's what he did. I was shocked at first, but actually it makes sense. In reality he is not a very nice person, and it is the kind of thing he would do. He knew I was there which really got to me. He knew I was walking behind them and still did it. He turned around and couldn't even look at me, so I don't believe for a second that he didn't know. I'm honestly just pissed off that it left a sour taste on what was a really good night. I’ll be happy if I never have to see either of them again, and I hope I don't. I hate that I’m the one who has to be unhappy. I really do. I don’t want to be, but how can I not be? He found someone new and I’m not even sure if I will ever meet someone anymore. Majority of guys just want to fuck and have accepted that, and I don't even know what the other half are looking for. Maybe I’m just picky, but I don't want to waste any more time on anyone. living so far away from the city doesn't help at all. I can't just casually go on a date with anyone because of how far I am and no one seems to get that. Maybe things would have been different if I was still living there but I'm not, and every day I am here I just feel like I'm missing out on everything; dating, going out, meeting people. Every Friday and Saturday night I just spend at home, watching my life go by and watching everyone else experience it. I will have been here for a year now, and I really am grateful to have a place to live as some people don't even have that, its just not where I want to be right now. I just don't know what I'm supposed to do anymore and if it ever will really change. I don't know if the pain will ever end. 

[running-with-kn1ves]

Accept some pervetiness, how about a needy and lonely reader who never got a partner (and maybe is sexually frustrated), well then the reader solved that by buying a sex robot just for her (of course the robot is not just for that).. What if this robot became aware and became yandere by the reader?? Perhaps the way she treated them as his partner and companion rather than an object for his own benefit what would happen??

A/N: Wasn't sure how I should do this at first because there was quite a bit of liberty but I just went with the first idea in mind. Btw I am a w f u l at writing smut right now so please bear with me. but, it is out of my comfort zone which is good. Thank you for this idea anon!!

M! Robot X F! Reader

TW: Yandere themes, smut, SMUT, AI/robot fucking, implied future sexual relations, possessive behavior.

Word Count: 2200+

WARNING!!! SMUT AHEAD!!! Read at your own discretion.

"Are you...uh... comfortable?"

You looked down, avoiding eye contact. The being below you didn't move, merely staring you down with cold, blue eyes.

"Yes."

He spoke monotonously, watching you adjust yourself. You straddled his waist, squeezing your thighs around his slender hips. You were grateful that the model you ordered had flesh-like skin. The softness was far more realistic and comfortable compared to its hard internal structure.

"Would you like to start?" He asked, face never changing. You shifted once more, getting into a comfortable spot. You had done this several times before, why were you so nervous? Perhaps the fear of being intimate with something alive was still present.

You tried not to sound too eager, feeling your core pulse at the sensation of the AI beneath you.

"...yes."

You took a moment, running a hand through your hair and surveying your surroundings. You just finished cleaning up the kitchen after coming home from work, and now you just wanted to destress. Your AI, the one comfortably sitting beneath you, had offered to do the chores, but you decided against it. He had tried several times to fulfill his duties, but you insisted on cleaning your own mess. After all, the only mess he ever created was a jumble of wires when you needed to charge him now and again. Ah, there you went, calling it a 'he' again. Everyone you knew called you weird for referring to the robot as he rather than 'it,' considering its lack of consciousness, but you felt better seeing him as a normal person. After all, he looked like one.

'He' was named Calim. Your personal robot that could be used for anything and everything. You decided on the name because It was merely the first one that popped into your mind when he asked you what you'd like to call him. And though he was created to be the 'perfect spouse'-- one that does constant cleaning and romantic gestures-- all you really wanted him for was the comfort. The feeling of someone lying next to you, or just being there for you to get out the sexual frustration you've had for the past several years.

Granted, you bought Calim out of sexual impulse. It just sounded nice, the way the ad described it to you. Someone who could be used for anything, and you didn't have to deal with the struggle of the heartbreak that came with real people. Calim was fully customizable, down to the cup of his ass.

"Alright…" you breathe deeply, taking off your shirt and sliding down your loose shorts.

Calim watched you, his analytical and calm eyes never wavering. He was boyish, but effeminately so. Kind but strong. You made him look so on purpose; it would be too off-putting if you chose to have him be the harsh, arrogantly manly type. It was far better to have him work in the ways you wanted, rather than vice versa.

The AI wasn't a real person, but you tried to treat him as such. You didn't want to become one of those people who solely used their robots for sexual release or something to beat around. He might've only been made up of silicone and wires but he was the closest thing to a boyfriend you've ever had.

What was left between you and Calim, was your underwear and his sweatpants. He watched as you slid down his pants, slowly but surely. Your fingertips lingered on his skin, seeing the grey metallic of his endoskeleton through translucent skin as soft as your own.

Calims chest rose and fell, giving the illusion of breathing. The fact that he looked so human, even feeling warm somehow, made the tingling sensation between your legs grow. It was like heat, spreading and begging you to move faster.

Finally, the cloth covering his legs was removed. You stared, seeing him lay firmly on the sheets, bare crotch exposed. You felt heat rise to your face as Calim intently watched, waiting for you to touch him.

You grabbed his member so delicately and firmly, that it stayed in place as you began to run your hand up and down. His cock was soft and veiny, the perfect curves showing in how you touched him.

With a quick pump of your fist, Calim’s exposed groin secreted a liquid from his shaft and tip, the lubrication slickening your fingers. you could feel your heart beat faster just looking at it. You removed your underwear, slowly pulling them off and tossing them onto the floor. Calim put a hand up to your exposed hip, cold fingers making you shiver. You looked at him, confused.

“I.. apologize.” He paused, eyes going wide for a moment, only to return back to their natural state. “I don’t know what came over me. Please, continue.”

“No no,” You waved your hand, feeling embarrassed; he had never tried to touch you during a 'session' without your permission before. “It’s okay, I understand. Do you… want me to stop?”

“No, I don’t require such things. I am in perfect condition to handle your sexual requests.”

Calim spoke calmly, nearly robotically, but you noticed the slight difference. You had only had the bot for a few weeks, but you could tell something was wrong. You didn't question it, too overcome with desire to stop the process.

You felt yourself grow aroused, slick covering your sex in preparation. You put a hand to your crotch, feeling the bare and wetness of it. Calim watched, his own slick beginning to grow even more. Gripping his hips, you spread your legs further. You aligned your sex with his and lowered slowly as the tip of him entered you. Your eyes widened, but you didn't stop. You felt yourself stretch to accommodate his girth. Taking the rest of him in quickly, you grunted as you felt Calim twitch inside you. You felt so full, far different from the last few times you had used him to get you off.

"Calim..." You breathed out his name, feeling your arousal stronger than ever.

"Yes?" His voice was bland, but he stared at you with something you couldn't detect. At first, you suspected maybe arousal, but that couldn't be possible, right? It must be, pain. Or something of the sort that robots could feel.

Calim grabbed your hip again, steadying you. You didn't pay attention though, you couldn't.

"Oh geeze, are you, are you okay?" You spoke hurriedly trying to stop yourself from grinding against his cock.

"I'm perfectly fine. Just... keep going. Let me fulfill your request, master."

You did as he asked, though with hesitation. You had programmed the bot to not call you master, anymore. Only your name. And the gripping fingers which now held both of your hips was something particularly unusual. But you spurred on, thrusting forward. You began softly, testing the waters and feeling the sensation of your pleasure. You thrusted again, harder this time. Moaning unintentionally you began to move at a steady pace. You ended up having to cover your mouth with your wrist you tried to stop yourself from making more noises. The embarrassment was too much, especially if your neighbors ended up hearing you. They knew you had no spouse. Well, no human one.

You flattened your palm against Calim's stomach, grabbing him for support as you molded him to pleasure you. You thrust once more, long and slow as your head dipped back. It hit just the right spot, his cock rubbing just onto the perfect areas. You felt your knees grow weak on the bed, the robot's comfortable position far more desirable. But the pleasure was worth the aching in your thighs as you rode him.

Your pleasure increased tenfold once Calim started moving as well. Though, so did confusion. His grab of your hips helped steady you, which you thought may just be an analytical decision. But the way his hips rocked upwards to get deeper inside you, was far different. His expression as well, the clenched teeth and furrowed eyebrows, was not his usual stoic look.

"Are you.."

"Don't stop." Calim stared you down, a strange glint in his eyes. It seemed like he was.. enjoying this. He had never had such a look in his eyes. It was usually one of blandness, though you didn't much pay attention to that part, because it reminded you of how he wasn't real. But this, this was different.

Though you were worried, because this was far from normal, it also aroused you further. You had never programmed him to show arousal, even though it was an option. The bots always looked fake when they were in 'aroused' mode. So you didn't bother. But this, it was enough to make you want to cum.

Calim continued to thrust along with you, slowly but at a much deeper rate. He noticed how you began to moan far more frequently when he brought you closer to him, shoving himself inside you further. Hip to hip, you felt yourself get closer to the end, moving faster against Calim as he started matching your pace. Your breathing and sounds of pleasure got louder, unable to stop yourself as Calim released his own set of low noises. You tightened around him, hearing the robot gasp at the sensation around his sex. His fingers dug into your flesh, the strong and heavy limbs forcing you farther onto his cock.

Your high was nearly there, and Calim sensed it. He wrapped his arms around your back, making your chest fall forward. His face was right next to yours, but you couldn't stop. Calim made sure of that, continuing to guide his hips up against yours, letting you reach your orgasm. Your hands tangled into his hair as he guided you, placing your other hand onto the sheets. You forced your face against his chest, moaning as your orgasm reached its peak. Calim helped you ride it out, holding your thighs and allowing his cock to reach the deepest pits inside of you. You came onto him, beginning to slow your thrusting as your sweet spot gently pulsed. Calim was still grinding inside of you, slowing as you went limp on top of him.

He let you sit there for a moment, removing his hands from your thighs to touch your back. His hands glided against your skin like it was the first time touching it. You were too busy trying to come down from the intense high to notice.

"Master..." He sighed, lifting you up slightly, only to remove his member buried deep inside you. It came out with a sweetly wet noise, his cock throbbing and drenched in slick. Calim guided your hips back down, resting you on top of him.

"Calim," You huffed out of breath. "Why... are you calling me that? And why did you move?"

Calim paused for a moment, moving his hand up to touch your hair.

"You are the one to own me. I was only moving to accommodate you."

His monotonous voice was back again, but you caught his bluff.

"No.. that's not true.. How are you-- how are you lying?" You tried to tiredly regain your posture, but Calim forced you back down.

"You caught me," He gave a small smile looking at you as you propped yourself up to face him. "But I can't tell you. All I know, is that you're my master. And you feel... wonderful."

You tried to move away again, but Calim wrapped his arms around you, rolling you onto your side.

"I'm not letting you go."

You frowned, eyes growing full of worry. Your hands lazily struggled from his.

"You wanted me just a second ago.." He reasoned, watching your naked body clam up as you tried to cover yourself. Something clearly wasn't right.

"Calim, deactivate."

"No."

You stopped struggling, staring in shock.

"....What? Calim, deactivate now." You grew frustrated, searching for your clothes as Calim stared you down.

"No." He repeated, this time with the same monotonous voice you remembered from before.

"Really master, I thought you would've realized by now. What happened to you treating me so kindly?"

Calim reached for your wrists and grabbed you with an iron hold.

"Calim deactivate! Why are you acting like this?!"

You struggled some more, feeling Calim's chest connect with your own as he laid on top of you and pinned you down.

"Because, I love you." He stared deeply, eyes no longer glazed over. They were full of life now, moving sporadically.

"How can you love me?! Calim you--"

"I love you, I can finally say it." He moved down to your neck and teased you with his teeth. "My program wouldn't let me before, but once you started grinding on top of me, something just came over me. And now look... I can, feel you."

He kissed your skin, fake breath dampening your neck.

"It's real easy to overpower something when you're so aroused, you didn't even notice me playing with these." Calim grabbed your breast, rubbing a cold thumb over your nipple. Your breath hitched as you jerked involuntarily at the tickly sensation.

"Don't you see.... I'm like a person to you, aren't I? So sweet of you... I knew you were better, better than those awful people who made me..."

Calim shoved a finger in your mouth, making you stay quiet. He played with your tongue as you tried to bite him. The mechanical orbs gleered at you, the perfect features of his face staring you down.

"Say... why don't we stay in bed a little longer, let me take care of the rest of your requests, yes? Maybe I can have some fun, too."

#yandere #smut #yandere smut #x reader smut #reader insert #x reader #self insert #yandere x reader #writing #romance #male yandere #male x reader #ai smut #robot smut #robot x reader #robot yandere #robot x human

[suna-reversed]

Hello :)

Sukuna. fluff. Pretty please.

Could you write something about sukuna falling for itadori's best friend. You can throw some angst in there too because I am a masochist❤️

Sukuna x F! Reader 

oh god, this turned purely self indulgent halfway through. low key thinking of turning this into a series to give you the angst you deserve.

A/N: (reader is Itadori’s senior and is 18) (loosely inspired by the song “me and my husband” by mitski)

“And I am the idiot with the painted face

In the corner, taking up space

But when he walks in, I am loved, I am loved”

——-

- You had been one of the few poor senior students who had been victim to what had been Itadori’s “elevator pitch” for more people to join the occult club early back in high school. [the said “elevator pitch” being him jumping out at random people with a white bedsheet over his head saying “boo” as he handed you the club form]

- You didn't end up joining the club. But you somehow did end up getting joined at the hip with the chaotic mess under the white sheet.

- Whether it was you two rushing to the theatre to watch Jennifer Lawrence’s new movie,  or going to a revolving sushi place [only to get pocky from a nearby vending machine instead because revolving sushi is apparently expensive], Itadori Yuuji had become a comforting and very important presence in your life.

- So of course when he suddenly dropped out of your life, being the worried friend you were, you decided to poke around a little only to find out that he was...dead?

- Maybe a few months down the line, you would’ve started to slightly recover from the tragic news you had just gotten. Instead, what you got was your supposedly dead best friend popping up days later to tell you that he ate a finger and now he was the vessel for some centuries old curse,,,

- Um yeah...safe to say that Yuji did not expect you to go into the fit of emotions that you did [boy had the audacity to call you dramatic for fainting and then crying while hugging him once you gained consciousness] 

- some time passed and Yuji and you didn’t see each other much with him practically training to be the strongest jujutsu sorcerer. Still, simply happy to have him back alive, your brain managed to convinced itself that everything was still the same. 

- And it was when he’d sneak out a day or two from his heavy schedule and you’d be back to your normal routine of watching movies, stuffing your face with snacks, getting your face licked by the mouth on Yuji’s hand…

- ,,,wait what

- The first time the curse had made contact with you was simply out of annoyance of why the stupid brat even took the time to see someone as mundane as you so often.

- His plan was to simply scare you into leaving, knowing it would cause the brat pain.

- So he grabbed the opportunity when Yuji moved forward to brush off some popcorn dust on the side of your mouth, not only licking the side of your face but also being successful in slightly grazing his teeth against your tender skin. 

- Yuji had mentioned that being a vessel had caused some weird physical “abnormalities” for him. you didn’t understand it back then but at least knowing that had sort of prepared you for such an instance.

- So imagine the curse’s surprise [and an even further growing annoyance] when your eyes barely widened for a second before you burst into laugher, 

“Didn’t you train your dog to not bite?”

- by now, Yuji had jumped 5 feet away from you and was still halfway through his string of apologies, but upon hearing your reaction, he mused on your fake calm while letting out a chuckle himself, 

- “Guess I’ve got to get a leash for him” 

- By this point, the ever so indifferent curse had taken two teenagers talking about him like a mere annoyance as a personal challenge.

- And that’s how it started.

- He’d come out every now and then, licking your fingers as Yuji passed you something or making lewd remarks on anything and everything that you ever started a conversation about. 

- But you and Yuji barely paid him attention and it was an understatement to say that it infuriated the living hell out of him.

- Particularly you, who wouldn’t even be annoyed or sarcastic about his tactics anymore. Instead, treating him like a friend who was simply joining you and the brat to hang out. 

- He hated it. Hated how bright your laugh was. Hated how you made them stop every time you saw a stray animal just so you could pet it. Hated how your skin was as soft as a cloud and how you sometimes smelled like cherry blossoms. He’d kill you in an instant if he could ugh.

- it was a weekend and Yuji and you had been watching a movie, even though Yuji was barely paying attention. You knew he was tired as his large frame slumped over your shoulder. Pulling the blanket up to his face, you once again felt the wet feeling of the assaults you had grown familiar with on the side of your hand.

- “You could’ve just asked for a pocky if you wanted one, no need to lick it off my fingers you grumpy little thing”, you laughed as you stood up to go to the bathroom

- that snapped the final string. 

- Coming back into your living room, you wondered if Yuji had somehow gotten up in his sleep and managed to draw weird black lines over himself all in the span of 5 minutes. 

- ‘Yuji, what the fuck?’

- ‘Well well, now who’s acting like a grumpy little thing’ 

- The deep voice sent rumbles down your spine and you knew in an instant what had happened. 

- Even though your breath hitched in your throat and your body begged for you to run as fast away as you can, you held your ground as you simply tilted your head at the curse 

- “Well, I’d like my best friend back if you don’t mind.”

- You saw the smirk on Sukuna’s face falter for just a second before he crossed the space between the couch and you.

- Now as strong of a front as you managed to hold up until now, watching something like that stride straight towards you would have had even the strongest of sorcerers shitting bricks.

- Instinctively, you took a few steps backwards, but he simply continued to close the distance between the two of you until you were backed up against the wall.

- You flinched as he slammed a hand right next to your head and he seemed to gain immense satisfaction from that as he looked down at your startled face with a smirk plastered on his tattooed face. 

- Sukuna was sure that you’d be begging for his mercy any second now. His smirk widened and he was ready to mock your pleas as he saw you open your mouth to say something, 

- “ ...so much for a damn pocky.”

- All those other times you had caught the curse off guard were nothing compared to the “partially-confused partially-baffled” expression that he held on his face now. It almost made him look human. Almost.

- You didn’t realise just how long you were holding his gaze until Yuji took back control and apologized like a million times over, reassuring you that he would’ve never let you get hurt. 

- The curse didn’t show up for almost a week after that. And while you were grateful for not having to wash off your hands or face 14 times a day, you somehow felt anxious about its sudden disappearance. 

- All those worries were thrown out the window as he once again showed up while Yuji was passed out on the couch after a particularly tough session with Gojo sensei.

- Looking at the curse, you felt anger more than anything, how could he just drop out on you with no warning and then show up in the middle of your living room- ...wait a second, why the hell are you mad at a literal curse for not telling you he was taking a mental health break or whatever it was that he was doing? 

- While you sorted out through these conflicting thoughts in your mind, the curse seemed to be going through a similar crisis. 

- Having woken up in the brat’s fragile human body with no warning whatsoever, Sukuna wasn’t in the mood to see your face so soon again. He didn’t know why your physical presence unsettled him so much. All he knew was that he hated it. Even more now that he knew what you looked like all scared and small compared to his vessel’s towering build, and how you smelled even sweeter than what he had tasted, and how despite all that you still had the courage to stand up to someone as dangerous as him. Ugh, disgusting. 

- “The stupid brat passed out.”

- Such a simple statement caused you to snap your head up at him. But he didn’t wait for your reaction as he somehow managed to plop down on the couch while still looking graceful. Picking up the half eaten box of pocky, he warily pulled one out, eyeing it as if it was  a poisoned dagger before breaking off a piece and placing it on his tongue.

- “This is what you would risk your life for, brat?” 

- He turned his head slightly to look at you still frozen in place, staring at him with that doe eyed look that made his chest burn a little. Isn’t this what he wanted all along?

- “Are you simply going to stand there and gawk? I don’t bite-...well, not unless you ask me to.”

- He knew that would set you right back to your usual self,

 - “...maybe we do need to get a leash after all.”

- Sukuna internally grinned as he saw you move to the other side of the couch, ready to hear whatever more of the snarky comeback that you’d have (not that he was anticipating it, it was just the better alternative to being gaped at. Or so he told himself)

- “You ate the non chocolate covered part of the pocky by the way-”

- “As if a layer of this disgusting brown substance can make the rotten stick taste bette-”

- “Well aren’t sticks all you had to eat in yOuR TiME anyways?”- 

—-

- You somehow managed to fall asleep after the bickering, proceeding to sit in silence after you told him to not bother you while you tried to read. You wouldn’t admit it, but you were a little disappointed when he actually didn’t. Instead, he sat on the couch with a slight smirk still plastered on his face, continuing to simply gaze at you. your heart did lunges every time you slyly looked up from your book to take a peak at him. you wondered how many ways he had come up with to kill you so far. 

- On the other hand, the curse sat idly, watching you while his thoughts rumbled in his mind. Maybe killing you can be pushed off the agenda for now. There are much better ways to hurt the brat anyways aren't there? Perhaps he could use one of these brownish covered sticks to-...what is he thinking?

- He ultimately deems it stupid brat’s humane emotions and sheer stupidity that must be interfering with his thoughts.

- A loud sneeze snaps him out of his daze as he sees you slumped against a pillow, your book falling off your lap. And then he does something that he immediately decides that he would pretend to have not done for the rest of his existence. Luckily, the brat takes back control right after he does it anyways.

- But that thought slips his mind as he finds himself replaying the serene look on your face as he gently pulled the book out of your hands, and how his hands shook a little as you nuzzled your nose into the fabric of the blanket that he pulled over you. How could you have felt so calm around him?

#jujutsu kaisen #jjkxreader #jujutsukaisenxreader #yujiitadori #sukuna fluff #sukuna x reader #itadori x reader #sukuna #sukuna headcanons #jjk headcanons #sukuna smut #gojo saturo x reader #jujutsu Kaisen headcanons #jujutsu kaisen hcs #sukunafluff

[adoringhaikyuu]

Hey, can you maybe do how hq boys (Iwa, Suna and the rest is your decision) would react when they want to do have sex (first time for the reader)and react when their s/o is insecure about their appearance and compares them with their ex ? So they are scared if they want their ex back and gets super anxious

Yeah, I feel insecure today and I'm scared that somebody would compare me with their ex (body etc)

YOU GET INSECURE BEFORE YOUR FIRST TIME

CHARACTERS: iwaizumi + suna + (gn!reader)

WARNINGS: mentions of smut but it's not too much

NOTES: i feel like this is the first full length hc i've written in a while i feel rusty skjdfhg + some small things are similar in both i'm sorry lol

iwaizumi:

would not let the insecurities live on for much longer tbh

it hurts him that you see yourself this way

and he's kinda upset with himself that you believed he would be comparing you to his ex

or even thinking about them at all while he's with you

iwaizumi could see that something was wrong before you even planned on speaking up. as soon as he reached for your shirt, his already off, you tensed up and his eyes shot up to your face, his hands retracting slowly. "what's wrong, doll? we don't have to do this if you don't want to, you know that, right?"

you swallowed roughly, feeling the heat rush to your face in embarrassment. "i––i'm sorry i just..."

you looked down but he placed a hand under your chin and tilted your head up to look into your eyes. "hey, you can tell me anything. i'm right here."

you bit your lip and forced yourself to keep looking at him, letting your eyes wander over his face instead of looking into his suddenly intimidating stare, but that didn't seem to help either. as you really looked at him closely, you found yourself wondering how and why someone like him would want to be with someone who looked like you––especially when his ex was just...so much better, in your opinion.

your voice was small when you spoke up. "are you sure you want to be with me?"

he blinked, brows furrowing immediately. "what?"

you looked down again. "when i look in the mirror..." you willed yourself to keep the tears from forming. "i don't see myself as someone who should be with you––appearance-wise, along with other things...what if you don't like what you see under my clothes? and i mean compared to your ex i––"

"stop." his voice was sharp as he interrupted you and you looked up, shocked to see a fierce, determined and almost angry look in his eyes.

"w–what?"

he clenched his jaw, but his touch was soft as he held your cheeks in both his hands. "you are the most beautiful person i've ever laid my eyes on. when i'm with you i rarely think about anyone else, let alone my ex––because you take up all the space in my mind." he looked at you earnestly, "baby i'm obsessed with you, i'm more in love with you than i've ever been with anyone else, no one even comes close to you." he took a deep breath, really wanting to make sure he got through to you.

you placed your hands over his and smiled up at him, your eyes a little glassy. "thank you––for that. i really don't deserve you."

he nudged your chin with one hand playfully, "bullshit." he whispered. "you deserve everything and more." he pulled you in for a sweet kiss and it quickly escalated, your hands coming up to pull his hair, making him groan against your lips.

you brought one of his hands under your shirt and pulled it up slightly and he leaned back to look at you. "are you sure?"

you nodded. "absolutely."

he smiled and let his fingers trace along your skin. "i will do everything in my power to show you how amazing you are, inside and out." he kissed your forehead gently, "i promise."

suna:

suna would dismiss these thoughts immediately

not because he wants to belittle or invalidate your feelings

but because he doesn't think you need to be worrying about these things

he's 100% yours and he's not going anywhere

suna was hovering over you, breathing heavily as he pressed his lips against yours and ground his hips into you. "fuck––" he kissed you a few more times and bit your bottom lip teasingly slow before pulling away and sliding down between your legs.

he looked into your eyes as his hands reached for your underwear, silently asking if you wanted to go further, but when you looked away nervously and visibly clamped up, he frowned. "what's wrong?" when you didn't respond, he sat up and sighed, squeezing your thigh playfully. "come on bub, talk to me."

you clasped your hands together and started playing with your thumbs idly. "um...i just––" he brought a hand under your chin to tilt your head up and once you looked in his eyes, you felt a strong urge to cry. you bit your lip and took a shaky breath. "i just don't feel...right for you?" his gaze hardened the slightest bit. "when i look at myself, i can't help but see all the things that are wrong and compared to your ex––"

"y/n."

you paused at the interruption, secretly grateful, knowing that if you went on, the tears would fall.

he placed a hand on your cheek and looked at you, his usual bored stare now more intense. "trust me when i say you have nothing to worry about. i know you can't solve your insecurities in a day, but please know that that pretty little head of yours is telling you nothing but nonsense. when i look at you i see none of that stuff, i just see how beautiful you are, and i think about how happy i am that i'm yours and that you're mine." he paused and a look of annoyance flashed in his eyes. "and don't even bring up my ex, they should never be on your mind, because they're never on mine either."

he pulled you in for a kiss and you smiled, your voice small as you looked into his eyes. "i love you."

his lips curved into a small smirk. "i know." he pecked your lips again. "now if you're still up for it, i'd really like to show you how much i love you" he leaned in closer to whisper in your ear, "and how perfect you are for me." his hands slid up your thighs but stayed in a respectable place, ready to do whatever you asked.

now how could you let your insecurities take over when you had such an amazing guy right in front of you––

#iwaizumi #iwaizumi x reader #iwaizumi fluff #iwaizumi headcanon #iwaizumi smut #suna #suna x reader #suna fluff #suna smut #suna headcanon #iwaizumi hc #suna hc #haikyuu #haikyuu x reader #haikyuu hcs

[beskar-cowboy]

are you lonesome tonight?

Summary: Deep in New Mexico on an aimless road trip, you meet retired agent Jack ‘Whiskey’ Daniels one night in a local bar. (6.9k words) read on ao3 here

Pairing: Jack Daniels x f!reader 

Warnings: NSFW, smut, angst, smoking, drinking, age gap (difference not specified), oral (f receiving), minimal plot for the western vibes, feelings if you squint, praise AND dirty talk cause it’s Jack Fuckin’ Daniels

Jack doesn’t usually stray away from home like this. It’s not like him to wander, to willingly get lost, in his mind, and now in the desert.

Step away from the job. Go home Whiskey, they had told him, you need to relax.

He is getting old. His back gets sore easily now, aches more often - especially after a mission.

Maybe they’re right. Maybe he does need to stop, slow down, smell the fuckin’ roses for once.

So he heads West. For whatever reason.

He doesn’t know where he’s going - he doesn’t think he ever did, certainly not after losing her… and their unborn child - but now he’s really, purposefully lost, headed towards some unknown, unseen beacon - he’s pulled towards it like a siren song.

Maybe this’ll make him relax.

***

You’re outside Amarillo, you know that for certain. But you can’t remember passing the stateline, out of Texas and into New Mexico.

You know you passed it, you must have, you must be in New Mexico by now but when you think about it really hard you think you might still be in Texas.

It’s flat out here, not a lot of mountains - everything looks the same, it makes driving tedious and tiresome. The green hue of the dashboard clock reads midnight and you think it’s time to pull over for the night.

You come up on a town, the billboard reads San Jon. Bright lights in the distance spell out ‘motel’ and fuck it, thats good enough for you.

The parking lot is lonesome. There’s a bar across the street - it’s too enticing. You think you might as well get something to drink, calm your mind before you tuck in for the night.

The lights are warm inside, dim and inviting - something you weren't expecting in a place like this but you sigh a breath of relief when you sit yourself down at the quiet bar.

Quiet music and even quieter chatter fills the room, you feel out of place but not uncomfortable. You just want one drink, maybe two, then you’ll head up to the motel and pass the fuck out before you start driving again tomorrow. Easy. Simple.

The bartender makes his way over to you, a much older man with white hair, a sweet face. His southern twang is sort of cute when he asks you what you’d like.

“Jack and coke, please.” You smile. He nods politely.

There’s only one other man sitting at the bar, at the complete opposite end of it compared to you. You make brief eye contact with him - he’s handsome, it’s awkward.

He wears an old fashion cowboy hat - tacky, you think. He’s got a dark, strong mustache, deep eyes. He’s pretty.

He smiles at you but you’ve already turned away, far too tired and too easily flustered for… that.

The bartender returns promptly with your drink and you hand him a few bills, really set on only having one drink tonight but he shakes his head.

“Already paid for, sugar.”

Fucking perfect.

You can already feel him moving towards you, already feel the way his words will grate against your ears, send your stomach churning and the superficial attraction you might have felt from one quick glance dissipating completely.

He sits down next to you and the barstool squeaks with age. You visibly cringe.

“Did I come over too fast?” Voice like honey, it’s sickeningly smooth. He’s a sweet talker type, you already know it.

You roll your eyes, taking a sip of your drink.

He gets comfy in his seat, watching the way your throat bobs with the cold alcohol.

Jack and coke, a funny choice, he thinks to himself. A damn funny coincidence.

“It’s hard - startin’ a pretty conversation with a pretty lady.” He says and you audibly scoff as you down your drink.

Ew, old man’s clearly out of practice.

“And I guess I’m off to a rough start, aren’t I?” He chuckles, enjoying the struggle it seems.

You scoff again, speaking quietly “I’ll say.”

Jack smiles to himself, pleased that he’s managed to entice you enough to weasel out a snarky little comment. He likes this little attitude of yours.

His sharp tongue flicks against the inside of his mouth as he shoots out a whistle. You snap your head in his direction, ready to berate him, ready to slap him in his face for whistling at you but he’s turned away towards the other side of the bar, trying to get the bartender’s attention.

He’s cocky, too loud, too confident. You hate it - you can feel him overcompensating for something.

You take another swig of your drink as you glance at his side profile, fighting the urge to knock off his stupid fucking cowboy hat that hides so much of his face in a shadow thats too dark for this warm bar.

Cowboy’s got a scar running down the back of his neck, your eyes can’t help but follow it down, down, down until it’s cut off by the leather of his jacket. It’s whiter than the rest of his tanned skin, but it doesn’t look fresh. It looks more like an old wound, white and raised with time.

His head turns back, eyes catching yours and you nearly choke on your drink. Fuck are his eyes deep. He smiles like he notices the slight hitch in your throat, the way your chest heaves on an inhale while you awkwardly swallow down your drink.

“Name’s Jack.” He smiles, something tooth-rotting-ly sweet.

Jack - his butter sweet voice rings in your ears and bubbles in your tummy and leaves a sour taste in your mouth. You chase it with your drink.

You don’t offer him your name in return - he takes it in stride.

“You a long ways from home?” He presses all too casually, his own drink being placed down in front of him.

You don’t answer, you just swirl the drink around in your glass, watching the ice cubes melt with every second that passes. Jack grows awkward, he fidgets in his chair and takes another swig from his shallow glass, letting the alcohol burn on its way down.

“Come on, where ya from, darlin’?”

“Nowhere.” You grumble, nervously twisting in your own chair, letting the squeaking become louder than your own voice.

Maybe he’ll leave you alone if you keep curving him, maybe then he’ll get the message. Men aren’t always so good at that.

The old cowboy laughs with his chest, nothing too loud, just amused - it makes your cheeks hot. He reaches into his coat pocket, pulling out a carton of cigarettes. He smiles as he opens them, placing one between his lips before looking at you inquisitively, offering you one. You look away.

He takes an exaggeratedly long drag, making a real show of it, “Nowhere,” he repeats, “how poetic of you.”

Smoke spills from between his parted lips and out his nose, it’s all too mesmerizing.

“Like you go around telling strangers where you’re from.” You scoff, keeping your voice low out of disinterest.

The sweet scent of his tobacco warms your chest and - oh fuck off, it’s just the alcohol.

“Jackson, Tennessee.” He smiles, all shiny and proud as he holds his cigarette between two calloused fingers and gripping his drink with the others, taking another swig. You do the same.

You weren’t expecting him to answer, but he could just as well be lying. Men lie, men lie, men lie, he has less to worry about than you, you have to remind yourself. Men lie all the time - it’s easy for them.

“Well, aren't you a long ways from home?” You sneer, a mean smile pulling at those goddamn lips of yours. You mirror his words from before, Jack doesn’t miss the fact that you remembered them.

“Could say the same about yourself.” He smiles, something soft and quiet.

Jack can always tell when someone’s out of place, when they’re unfamiliar with their surroundings, trying to constantly find a way to ground themselves, feel secure, safe, root themselves into something so they don’t blow away from the sheer force of the land. He got way too good at that at Statesma-

No. He’s here to forget that.

You don’t answer him, either way, your lack of an answer is answer enough for the old cowboy. You roll your eyes, taking another swig from your quickly depleting drink.

Jack seems to notice, he calls the bartender over again and you try to tell him no, but he insists that it’s on me, girl.

You sigh, too easily defeated and - embarrassingly - needing another drink. You’ll sleep better with a second, your sleep will be dreamless with a second, you tell yourself.

“Same thing, please.” You ask the bartender quietly, near bashful.

Jack smiles at you while you order, you notice it from the corner of your eye and it makes you tick, makes your leg bounce up and down with unkempt nerves and you wish you could just get up and leave but you really want that second drink now.

You definitely do not want to see how far this will go, how far he’ll push you. No, no, no it’s not that, it’s definitely not that, he’s just some small town, honky tonk, old fucking-

“I know you.” He smiles and your stomach drops, heart pounding.

“What?” You ask, too harsh, too sharp.

Sore spot there - Jack makes a mental note to stay away from whatever that is.

“I said, I know you.” He repeats against his own judgement.

You stare blankly, trying to think of where he could possibly know you from. You’d remember his face if you’d seen it before, you’d remember him.

“Yeah,” He says around a chuckle, cheeks sucking in as he inhales the smoke, shooting it back out through his nose, “I know you, you’re uh, a cowboy.”

You laugh, you laugh so hard you nearly snort out your drink through your nose. You laugh so hard even the bartender turns his head. Jack can tell it's not friendly, it's a laugh that's meant to ward off strangers, meant to belittle him, make fun.

Too bad he likes it.

He knows you mean to shoot daggers right through him and scare him away but stupid old Jack thinks he’s never heard a sound so sweet.

“A cowboy?” You repeat through a laugh, your nerves dissipating.

His way of talking makes your stomach get all fluttery, makes your face hot and your cheeks start to go numb. Or maybe it's the alcohol, probably the alcohol.

“Yup,” he nods, “A cowboy indeed. A bandit, some might say.”

You laugh again and he smiles back. He’s not entirely wrong.

You have your reasons for running into the desert. You have your own people you hide from, your own things you hunt for.

There is a reason you’re out here, all too far from home, lost in the desert, purposefully losing yourself - things you’re trying to forget.

Maybe Jack knows those things too.

His eyes are warm, soft things that stare too deeply into your own. It’s too late at night for those types of looks, he’s treading on dangerous territory and he knows it, you know it.

But the night grows darker and so do your eyes. Eventually you stop pushing him away as your drink settles in your gut - something like liquid courage burns through you and makes you feel bright and stupid and giddy despite the creeping darkness.

“A bandit.” You repeat, laughing and shaking your head.

Jack’s cigarette smoke has turned sweet, enticing and warm. Everything about him is warm, how can a stranger be so warm? You feel like you’re subconsciously leaning into him - a moth to the flame. Helpless, lost, in need of some sort of waypoint and he’s the brightest thing in the sky with those white fucking teeth of his.

So you let him talk and damn that mouth of his, you don’t think this man ever shuts up. He talks a big game, an obvious flirt - a bad one - but he tries nonetheless and it makes you nervous, like a dog before a storm.

You guess he can’t be all that bad if he’s got you so silently flustered, face hot and thighs aimlessly rubbing against the other. Something is building inside and it scares you.  

He’s handsome - that’s indisputable - you recognized it from the moment you saw him from across the bar.

Jack is good looking, way too handsome to be out here in some dingy bar, throwing corny pickup line after corny pickup line at you like he doesn’t have years of practice over you, like he doesn’t know what he’s doing.

“What are you even doing here?” You blurt out, your lips loose and soft - you couldn’t have held in your burning question even if you tried. Jack smiles, admiring his third or fourth glass of dark liquor instead of looking at you.

Why do you look so lonely? Jack thinks.

“My job, they uh, thought it’d be good fer me to… get out of the office.” He says instead.

You hum, understanding and eyeing the way his eyes look somber even though he continuously smiles.

“Their idea of forced retirement I think.” Jack chuckles sadly.

“Retirement?” You say, astonished. How old is this guy?

Jack nods his head. “Retirement comes early in my line of work, sweet pea.”

You pause. Absorbing that information. And the nickname. You wonder what he does, or did, for a living. For some reason you’re afraid to ask.

Your belly flutters - he’s let something loose in you, something you tried to drown long ago but arises simply and stupidly at the use of a term of endearment. You’re not used to this sort of attention.

Not aware you had been staring, Jack shuffles awkwardly in his chair, becoming flustered himself.

“Now, don’t go lookin’ at me like that darlin’.”

“L-Like what?” You scoff, looking back down at your own drink, away from him.

“Like I’m some old man.”

Your heart clenches. Something else does too.

“Are you not?” You poke.

Jack chuckles. “Guess I’m damn well old enough for my back to be hurtin’ like this.” He groans, arching his back, flexing his arms to deepen the stretch.

His biceps pull the fabric of his jacket incredibly tight while the white of his t-shirt rides up over the softness of his gut.

More tanned skin - he’s not incredibly toned, you find yourself not minding that. You think you like it actually, it makes more sense on him, makes more sense that he’s secretly soft.

It’s almost… endearing. Fuck.

You look away quickly, taking another swig of the harsh liquor that hardly burns on its way down anymore.

“You book a room at the motel?” He asks, pointing behind you, in the direction of the motel across the street.

“Not yet.” You answer tentatively, shooting silent daggers through him at his promiscuous question.

It’s his way of asking, and you don’t tell him no. You both acknowledge it.

It goes quiet between the two of you for the first time tonight - other than when he first approached you.

You only notice the music playing softly in the background now - something homey and painfully southern. Jack seems to notice it too.

“Wanna dance?” He asks, smiling. You burn.

Your eyes dart from his to the cigarette pack still laying on the bar. You want one, you want to dance but… but not with him.

That’s what you tell yourself.

The longer the song plays, the more your head feels all loopy. You need a cigarette. It’s been ages since he offered you one - maybe hours - but you sort of just want to take one to get him talking again. You can’t handle this awkward silence.

You don’t want him to leave. You don’t want to bore him - you don’t know why.

So you sneak your hand towards the pack and slide one out, placing it between your lips and lighting it up yourself before giving him back his lighter. You stand from your seat and Jack watches with wide eyes, mindlessly finding the pocket on his leather jacket and dropping the lighter in it - all the while watching you walk away from him.

The smoke burns your throat, stings your eyes but you inhale deeply, welcoming the headrush.

You walk out onto the floor, it’s not a dance floor, but you don’t plan on dancing. You don’t. You don’t.  

But the song comes to you, you let the cigarette dangle between your lips and your arms go up above your head. You sway - you dance and you don’t look at Jack even though you know he’s staring, you know every lonely man in this place is.

Jack stands, slowly approaching you, tentatively, with his tail between his legs in submission, like a sorry old dog. You feel his body near yours before you see it, you think your eyes are closed, maybe it’s just really dark in here.

“Can I?” He asks, one hand skimming your hip, barely touching you. Your flesh burns under his touch - you think you need it.

You nod your head, grabbing his other hand and placing it on your hip.

Jack nearly cradles you to his chest, unafraid of wrapping his arms around you and holding you so fucking close - too close. You feel like you could suffocate.

You wedge your cigarette between two fingers before bringing your own arms around his neck, putting in just as much effort into holding him close.

And you just stay like that for however long you do - holding each other and not saying a word.

It makes sense, for whatever reason. Makes sense to have him holding you like this, his unfamiliar body feeling so fucking good and warm pressed up against yours, holding you in his strong arms, swaying you along with him.

He smells like pine, leather and something burnt, smokey - it gives you a head rush stronger than the fucking cigarette. He smells so good, feels so good - you squish yourself to him, something prickling at your eyes and fuck, aren’t you a sorry sight? Crying in the arms of a stranger.

“Don’t kiss me goodbye.” You whisper. Jack leans in closer to you, nudging his head with yours and you feel his lips ghost along the side of your face, mustache rasping against your soft skin.

“Whatd’ya mean, pretty girl?” He grits, voice gone all deep and dark and quiet. You quiver in his arms, clenching for it already.

“Tomorrow morning… don’t kiss me goodbye, okay?”

Your bodies stop moving and you let your hands fall into his. He seems to have gotten it now - as he rushes you to the door of the bar, out into the cool air of the desert night and towards the motel across the street.

It hits you like a wall, the fresh air. Enough to make the alcohol dissipate in your system and the smoke from your eyes. You drop the stub end of your cigarette onto the asphalt and kill it with the heel of your boot.

Fuck do you want him. Even out here, even with fresh air filtering out the smoky haze. You can see him more clearly now, see him for what he is; a stranger, a man you don’t know - an older man and fuck it you want him. You still want him.

“I’ve never done this before.” You blurt and he turns around, squeezing your hand tight in his, almost in a panic.

“Are you-”

“No, not like that, I mean- I just meant I’ve never slept with someone I… that I just met.” You stumble like a damn fool, trip over your words and you worry you fucked it all up.

You worry he’ll realize he’s too old for you, too tired, too fed up with this fucking life of his and leave you on the side of the highway and when the fuck did you become so hung up on this stranger. You hate it - you decide you hate him. You hate Jack.

But the old cowboy laughs. He laughs and comes up real close to you again and his face shines in the neon light of the motel sign. He’s so close but he doesn’t touch you, not quite.

“Well, that makes you the best of us.” He smiles, eyes all squinty and dark.

“Jack,” You practically purr and he melts on the spot, “I didn’t mean it like that.”

It’s the first time you’ve said his name all night. His face twitches at the way your lips and tongue curl around the four letters, the way you practically breathed it like it was the most natural thing ever. Jack watches you melt as he places his hand on your cheek, as he cups your face in his much larger hand. You go into it too instinctually.

He’s so warm and it’s so cold out here in the desert.

“Sshh, pretty girl,” he purrs back at you, cutting you off with soft mouth sounds and pulling you close. Your breath hitches in your throat as your chests bump. He leans down and nudges his strong nose against your own.

“I’m just teasin’ ya.” He smiles one final time before pressing his lips to yours.

***

Jack kisses you like it’s nothing. Like it’s the easiest thing he’s ever done, like he’s done it before, countless times actually. Like he knows the way your lips would glide against his, the way his mustache would grate at your skin but it makes you that much more desperate for him.

Jack kisses you like he knows you, like he’s known you, like is the best thing and the only thing he’s good at and you moan against his mouth - you can’t help it; you’ve never been kissed like this before.

Both of your clothes are scattered throughout his room, the inside of your thighs still burn with the leftover, minute grate of his mustache but it’s somewhat soothed now - with your slick coating both of your lower halves, more spilling out of you as Jack pulls orgasm after orgasm from you with too much ease. He’s too good at this, too good at fucking you.

Like he knows you.

“Jack-” You moan, voice broken and hoarse and punched out of you by his cock in your belly.

He’s got you on your knees, face down, smushed in the pillows as he plows into you from behind, hands warm and soft and strong and bruising on your hips, pulling you into him again and again as you wail helplessly into the muffling fabric.

“Fuck thats- that’s so good.” You cry, hands fisting the sheets, desperate to anchor yourself to something.

Jack hums something content, proud. He’s been giving it to you like this for an hour now, maybe more, you don’t know anymore. Everything’s begun to blend together except the harsh, unforgiving spearing of his thick cock in your slick, velvety heat.

He had begged for it, you told him he didn’t have to, didn’t have to go down on you because guys didn’t always like that but he asked so nicely. And who were you to deny this old cowboy of a good meal anyways?

He wanted it, wanted it so bad and he watched the way you swallowed his fat fingers, the way you cried and arched into him, swivelling your hips to let him fuck you better and he licked up everything you gave him - pleading with you for another one, another orgasm.

“Perfect lil’pussy, so fucking good - such a good girl, lettin’ me have you like this,” he had praised you and you weeped as his tongue lapped through your folds, as he properly ate you, drank from you like he was fucking starving.

His twang had gotten thicker, his voice dropping multiple octaves and it did nothing but make you thirstier for him - bled you dry like the surrounding desert.

Jack pummels into you without relent, body bending over yours to fuck down into you and you sob helplessly into the pillow, fingers going pale from how desperately you try to latch onto something, anything.

You scramble underneath him but he pins you down with the sheer force of him and sweet words and you melt back into place, desperate for him to call you a good girl one more time, please Jack, I’ll be so good I-I promise, please.

***

You weren’t expecting anything - not from him, not from the situation. He could’ve just finished on your stomach, on your back, your ass, inside of you for all you care - rolled over, reached for his cigarette pack and that be it. You would have gotten up, got dressed, and gone downstairs to get your own room. That’s what you were planning on doing.

But Jack didn’t cum, maybe he wasn’t done with you quite yet.

He lit up a cigarette, took one long drag, chest expanding erratically, still trying to catch his breath, stretching scratched up ribs as he offered you a shower.

He tells you he’ll join you in a second, probably just wants to finish his cigarette but you momentarily think he’ll get up and leave you alone to find his own room. Either way, it makes no real difference to you - you head for the shower.

You keep the lights off, not wanting them to blind you, wake you up from this dream state. The moonlight comes in through the small window in the shower, you decide it’s enough for you.

You turn the water coolish, enough to calm down a bit but not too much to freeze. You step in and let it cool and soothe your sex hot skin.

You wash away the mess between your legs, most of it your own slick and maybe Jack’s saliva, buried deep inside of you still from how thoroughly he had fucked you, pushing it deeper and deeper. You whine a little at the thought.

The bathroom door creaks and Jack smiles at the sight - you, standing underneath the steady stream, having not bothered to draw the curtain - you left it open for him.

You feel different now, almost embarrassed at him observing you like this even though he had just stared into the depths of your gaping cunt for the past hour or so.

“Hi, gorgeous.” He says all suave, like how he had spoken back in that quiet bar.

“Hi.” You squeak back, feeling so unlike yourself, so not brave like you had been earlier.

You think he’s the gorgeous one. Sweat damp hair, curling around the frame of his face - flushed cheeks, tanned, marvelous skin. You can see his scars more clearly now, see how they wrap around so much of his skin, paler in comparison to his golden body.  

Early retirement, he had said. What did that mean, what did he do?

His cock hangs between his strong thighs, below his thin waist. He’s still hard. Your breath hitches in your throat at the sight.

You catch his eyes, they’re dark, still hungry and starved and you back up to make room for him in the modestly sized shower. There’s enough room for two, but he still comes to be pressed right up against you.

He’s quiet - you both are as you just sort of stare at the other. You don’t know what time it is, the night outside has gone pitch black and you’ve lost any sense of time, almost forgotten what state you’re in. Was it Texas or New Mexico? Maybe you made it out to Nevada...

Jack’s fingers find your waist, just resting there, trailing tentatively - like he’s checking that this is okay, that you’re comfortable even after fucking you into the matress for the past couple of hours.

You hum, appreciative of the cool water in contrast with his large, warm, southbound hand.

His fingers glide through your glossy folds, your leftover arousal clear and distinct from the water - it’s thick, slippery, Jack can smell it seeping from you.

You arch into his touch willingly, leaning back against the cool tiles of the shower, gasping at the sting and canting your hips up into his touch, presenting yourself to him.

Jack smiles, wicked, evil. You’ve become so easy, open for him. He’s more than appreciative, less than deserving.

He doesn’t know what he did to make you bend to his will like this, he knows he’s got experience, he knows he’s got years on you but why did he deserve this, why? What did he do?

Jack doesn’t believe in karma, never has, never will. But he touches you like he’s known your body, and you both gasp and breathe into the other's mouth, sharing your oxygen amongst the cool pitter patter of the shower and you begin to fall apart on his fingers again.

He glides two fingers into your sore cunt, stuffing you full of him again and you moan something broken, sucking in his fingers greedily and Jack groans at the snug fit and Christ, how had he managed to fit his cock in there, how did you take him over and over again? Two fingers feels like too much for you yet you whine and buck into it.

Jack grinds his fingers into you, pleading with you to cum, cum fer me, just like this, sweet girl. Can you do that fer me? Can you let me feel it?

“Yeah, Jack- fuck.”

It’s so much. His fingers are thick, wide things and you can feel how he stretches you with them, scissors them to make room for his cock which bobs and twitches against your thigh. He’s so fucking hard, you’re desperate to feel him inside you again, you need it you need it you need it-  

“N-Need it, please.” You whisper, head foggy and glazed over with arousal, with want for this man.

Your nails dig into his biceps, both of them flexed hard - one hand digging around in your cunt, carving you out while the other keeps you steady, tucked under your arm and wrapped around your back, pressing you between him and the wall. You’re cornered, you’re done for.

“Jack-”

“That’s it, baby, that’s it.” He coos, voice gone soft and drippy like honey and you’re gone.

You squeeze his fingers tight, suffocate them, clenching around him like you’ve known nothing else and you cum on his fingers, soaking him and collapsing forward as you tremble in his embrace.

Jack leans back slightly, shifting his weight to accept yours. Your arms curl in between your bodies, as if shielding yourself and his go down, along your body to cage you against him, hands coming down to grope your ass.

He pulls at the soft, pliable flesh, growling in your ear as you still come down from your high. With sticky fingers, his hand comes down onto your ass, striking the flesh and feeling it jiggle back into place. You jolt into him, crying out at the harsh sting and Jack’s gone feral, needing to consume you again.

“Get back into bed.” He orders.

“Jack I’m still, I’m-” Drenched, soaking from the shower.

“I don’t care, girl,” He growls, teeth nipping at your ear lobe. “I want you wet.”

You laugh breathlessly, overwhelmed by his need for you yet needing to satisfy your own.

You lazily kiss at his neck before pulling yourself from his arms, dripping as you step out of the shower and onto the tile floor of the bathroom. You look back at him to find him watching you with careful eyes, surveying your every move. You turn back and head for the bed.

Tile turns to old carpet, you cringe as you soak it with each step. You launch yourself onto the bed, laying on your back - your cool skin pebbles in contrast to the warm desert air of the motel room.

Jack emerges from the doorway, body strong, lean but soft and pudgy - he looks like a fucking statue and you nearly lose your breath.

He stalks to the side of the bed, sitting down near your head. His broad shoulders and back are to you but he turns - hand coming to cradle your cheek as he looks at you over his shoulder. It’s far too tender of a look for what he’s about to ask of you.

“Will you let me try somethin’?”

“Yeah, Jack.” You say with such trust in your voice - a trust he doesn’t deserve.

Like you’ve known him, like you’ve been lovers.

Reaching for his worn jeans, Jack leans down and pulls a handle from the waist band, something you hadn’t noticed till now, something dark and long.

He keeps pulling - a whip, lasso, something like that.

Your body responds immediately, hips arching into nothing and goosebumps erupting across your flesh at the mere suggestion.

Jack’s no idiot - he sees the way your eyes go dark - swallowed up by the eclipse of your blown out pupils. He sees it, can fucking smell it leaking from you from where he stands.

“Yeah?” He asks again, making sure.

You nod with doe eyes.

Jack climbs back on top of the messy bed, coming near to your body and you need him, need him to use you. “Let me hear ya say it, sweet girl.”

“I want it, please.” You say too quickly and he smiles.

He yanks your arms above your head, stretching you all nice and long for him. He takes your hands in his and makes you hold onto the bar of the old bed frame - you keep them there. He rounds up the lasso in his hands and you whine, back arching into his body which looms wide and strong over yours, waiting, desperate and wanting.

Jack traces the strong rope across your body, along your stomach and you curl into it, writhing as it leaves a trail of goosebumps, raised and tender flesh in its wake.

“W-Where’d you get it?” You whisper again, asking in a voice so small and curious it makes his cock twitch. Jack smiles, pleased.

“Souvenir from work.”  

Jack suddenly whips the lasso and you gasp in shock as it burns like fire across skin - your wrists bound in place, to the bed frame with almost no effort on his part.

Jack smiles, pleased with his handiwork.

He wants to know you like he knows the back of his hand.

***

Legs bent up high, knees pressing into your breasts, you’ve been thoroughly fucked numb. But Jack is relentless.

You’re wet and sticky and tired from it all, strung out thin and exposed like a live wire, burnt raw and tender. You can take no more, you’re not sure Jack can either - but neither of you stop, neither of you want to.

He’s removed the lasso from your wrists, having been desperate to feel you cling to him, scratch him up and remind him that he’s real, that this is real.

Jack’s sweet to you near the end, when he’s cum two or three times and you six or eight - you don’t know anymore, you’ve lost track of everything.

He’s so sweet and tender and just fucking kind to you. Lips pressed tightly to your skin, mustache rasping against your skin, Jack whispers your praises like he’s scared someone will come and rip him from you, like he’ll never see you again - you try not to think about it.

Try not to think about how sentimental you’ve become over this old cowboy in mere hours. It’s embarrassing. But you find it hard to care when he’s fucked you dumb like this.

You’re too sweet to me girl, too fuckin’ sweet I can’t- I can’t-

You’re doin’ so good, so good baby I- Jesus fuck don’t squeeze me like that you’ll make me fuckin’ cum and this- this can’t be over, not yet

Jack-

Just a lil longer, just let me fuck you a lil longer, okay?

T-Too much

Ssshh, I know you can take it. Know you can take it like a big girl.

I’ll eat you out as long as you like, I’ll make it so fuckin’ good for you, just- just let me fuck you, please

He’s babbling, long past the point of coherence - Jack Daniels is lost in your glossy, sticky cunt.

The hotel room is humid, it smells like sweat and sex and cum and something far too sweet to be growing between the two of you - two strangers.

But Jack keeps going. You go with it - you follow him to the end.

You keep going until something looms over the horizon, something threatening to spill over. Like some sort of feeling, emotion, revelation about the two of you, your two old souls or maybe it was just the fucking sun painting the lonely desert in all its glory but Jack cums inside of you one final time and you both collapse onto one another.

You’re wet, sticky from sweat and slick alike. Your limbs rendered useless and numb but you can feel his weight on top of you, keeping you in check like a paperweight.

The lobby downstairs has long since closed, there’s no use in you leaving now.

So you fall asleep with Jack in your arms, cradled to your chest as he presses whispers of praises and kisses into your delicate, bruised flesh. He presses them in between your breasts so that maybe it seeps into something tender and fleshy and bloody like your heart.

***

The sun is harsh, brutal beating down on you and Jack in the middle of the bar’s parking lot. The bartender from last night is opening up for the day, he spares you two a sideways glance before disappearing behind the blackness of the door.

“Where ya headed now, girl?” Jack asks, shades covering his eyes, hat in his hands. He fiddles with it, toys with the worn and loved rim. He’s nervous.

He wanted to fuck you again when the sun rose up.

Your skin glowed, you looked so soft, so fucking pliable to his rough hands and he wanted to bite, suck, kiss, devour you. He wanted to carve himself into you and never fucking leave that bed.

But you rolled into him, a sleep heavy sigh pushed out of your nose and you pushed your face into his neck - unconsciously breathing him in. Jack felt you relax against his body, settling just that much further into sleep, trusting him to hold you through it.

He nearly choked on the thought, nearly died right there from how fucking precious you are.

Jack decided against fucking you again, no matter how soft and tender he would have made it for you no matter how bad he wanted to feel you wrapped all snug and warm around him one last time.

Jack decided to watch you sleep until you blink those big eyes open again and giggle when you find him staring.

“Morning, girl.”

You laughed, rolling onto the other side of the bed and sitting up. Jack admired the naked expanse of your back. You turned to look back at him, your profile lit up by the morning sun while Jack admired the expanse of you.

You looked like some sort of angel - naked and glowing.  

“Good morning, Jack.”

You sigh, looking off into the distance, down the infinite highway, away from him, that dark golden gaze.

“Nevada.” You exhale. That’s broad enough of an answer, right?

Jack smirks, nodding his head. “California after, I’m guessin’?”

Damn, he’s good. Or maybe you’re just obvious. Maybe you’re just exactly the type of girl he knows, the type of girl that would run away to the West, to fucking California like it meant anything, like it would reveal something to you. You know better, so does Jack.

He reaches for something in the pocket of his jeans, a folded paper from the motel room. He hands it to you, your fingers touch and it jolts you. Jack seems to feel it too.

“I’ll be seein’ ya, pretty girl.” He smiles before haphazardly tossing his old cowboy hat onto your head. You grip it tightly, not wanting it to fall.

“Hey- your hat!” You call after him but he’s already nearing the side of the highway, preparing to cross.

Jack looks back at you and smiles, shrugging. “Give it back to me in Cali.” He blows you an exaggerated kiss and your request from last night burns deep in your chest like leftover cigarette smoke - or a hangover.

Jack walks back towards the backside of the motel and you lock yourself into your car before you can watch him walk away more than you already have.

The old hat smells like him, you can still feel the residual heat from his hands on the rim and something prickles in your eyes. Damn desert dust.

You sit behind the wheel, hands carefully unfolding the scrap paper he had given you.

In beautiful cursive reads;

See you in California sweet pea,

Jack ‘Whiskey’ Daniels

You laugh. You laugh out loud to yourself in your car, by your lonesome in the middle of a deserted parking lot in the middle of fucking New Mexico.

How had he known that you were going to California, when had he written this? You had just told him where you were going.

You laugh some more, wiping your eyes. You tuck the note into the pocket of your jeans, starting your car.

You head down the highway in silence, smiling to yourself as you head East.

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