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yeokii · 9 months

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# arguments w enha hyung line !! — part two (maknae line ver)

₊﹒ wc! 0.9k

₊﹒warnings! fighting, angst

₊﹒note! ty to my dookie @redm4ri for helping me with the members (im crying) luv ya my dooks

# lee heeseung

"It's not what you think," Heeseung pleaded, irritation visible on his face.

In his head, he thought he was right. But, boy, was he off. Both you and he went to a gathering, but he had ignored you the entire day and spent time with his best friend. You trusted Heeseung with your entire heart, and seeing him do this broke your heart into little pieces.

"She came back from the states two days ago, yn," He tried to reason, "I haven't seen her in four years, for fuck's sake."

"That is no excuse for you to ignore me, Hee," you sternly said.

"God, yn! Why can't you get it in your fucking brain? She and I are fucking friends!" He scoffed, frustrated as he brushed his hair back with his hands.

"Do you think I'm stupid? She looked like she wanted to kiss you! Are you kidding me?" It was your turn to scoff.

The tension thickened as hateful words spewed from each side.

"God, yn, why are you overreacting?" He asked, annoyed. "Stop being a fucking child; she's like a sister to me."

"Do you realize she spent more time with me? Of course, I'd miss her."

"Alright, if you miss her that much, feel free to go to her. I don't give two fucks anymore." And with that, you took your jacket once again and left the apartment.

₊﹒other members under the cut !!

# park jongseong

11:34.

The clock read.

He wasn't home yet.

Your worry grew more with every minute passing. The fact that Jay wouldn't pick up the thousands of your calls. You were a nervous wreck. You couldn't sleep at all. He was never late.

The door opened, finally.

In came a tired jay, his eyes worn out and his hair all ruffled up, his tie loose.

He took one look at you and his eyes automatically rolled.

"What the fuck Jay?" You spoke.

"God, please." He said. "Not now, yn. Im too fucking tired to hear your lectures."

"Jay?" You were astonished by his behaviour. He never spoke like this which took you off guard.

"Why are you speaking like that to me?" You asked, your heart heavy. "I was so worried about you, I called you a hundred times."

"God, I just don't wanna deal with this right now. I had a long day at work. " He massaged his temples as he started to head for the bedroom.

"You could've told me you were coming late."

"Stop being a fucking baby and stop being clingy. I'm a grown ass man. Your not my fucking mother."

You had nothing left to say. You gave him a stern look as your worried expression vanished. You headed to the bedroom and slammed the door not wanting to hear anymore out of your so called boyfriend's mouth.

# sim jaeyun

"Baby, can you please tell me what's wrong?" Your boyfriend pleaded due to the silent treatment you were giving.

You ignored him as usual, continuing to do the dishes.

"I would know whats wrong if you would tell me about it." His eyes holding a desperate plea.

You looked at him with disbelief written all over your face.

"How could you forget Jake?" You asked him, your voice sounding like a slight whisper.

"What?" He uttered with confusion.

"I waited for you all day last night. How could you forget?" You held back tears that threatened to spill out of your eyes.

"Forget what baby?" His eyes searched for some sort of answer from your face.

"Our anniversary Jake."

His eyes widened, as a wave of shock washed over him.

"I'm so sorry baby, It must've slipped out of my mind I-"

"It was raining Jake. I couldn't go outside because it was raining. I had to sit there at our date waiting for you to come. I had to go back home in the rain, Jake." You let out a sob. The familiar emotion of humility emerging over you.

"Yn, I'll make it up to you. It's not a big deal."

"It is, you asshole." You looked at him, tears leaving your eyes nonstop and you left the kitchen.

# park sunghoon

"Hoon please stop." You let out a mutter to your boyfriend, slightly tugging onto his hoodie.

You both were out with your friends and you and Sunghoon were having a good time until him and your friends started joking a little too much about you that made you uncomfortable.

"What? We're just having fun." He shrugged it off, laughing.

"No Hoon. I don't feel comfortable." A rush of insecurity roamed through you.

You tugged onto Sunghoon more which showed a bit of irritation on his face.

"God yn, learn how to take a joke." He said, a frown showing on his face.

"Please, I don't like when you talk about me like that infront of my friends."

"It's just a joke, babe."

"It's not Hoon." You sternly said.

"God! Stop being a fucking baby!" He yelled at you infront of your friends.

"Oh my god! Did yn's boyfriend just yell at her? Yikes.." One of your friends told the girl next to her.

You looked around and then back at Sunghoon. Shame washed all over you. You felt so humiliated, tears started to fall out of your eyes. Everyone's eyes were on you. You felt so isolated and outnumbered.

"I'm leaving." You told Sunghoon and with that you left.

perm taglist!! @flwoie @zuyairus @bubblytaetae @yenqa @haknom

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lvrhughes · 10 months

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I'm Coming Over | J. Drysdale

pairing: Jamie Drysdale x f!reader

word count: 1.4k

summary: After a fling with Jamie, he decides to end things, but he can’t stay away.

warnings: mentions of sex, making out

requested: no

not my gif!

“Goodbye.”

“Jamie-”

“No, this needs to stop. It’s not good for either of us.”

That was how the ongoing fling with Jamie ended, he wanted it over so you left it, but desperation was never was on his side. Jamie's thoughts were clouded by you and yours clouded by him, so he’d always come back.

Kissing, acting like teens in love, and then ending things again. It was a vicious cycle. He knew it was better for the both of you if he could end it but it never seemed like he could.

“We’re over. For good this time.” you nodded, letting him make the moves. You could feel the break of your heart when he walked out the door, sending you a sad smile as he left.

It felt like you cried for days, not moving from your room, thousands of worried messages filled your phone. You sent one message to everyone, claiming you were fine, even to Jamie without notice. His heart sped up at the message, he could see through you, he could tell you weren’t. So he sent one message back, his mind overfilled with the thoughts of you.

I’m coming over.

“Where are you going?” Trevor yelled at him as he grabbed Trevors keys, knowing you liked the bronco better.

“I need to see her.”

“Jimmy-”

He didn’t stay to listen to the lecture that was coming, running out the door, Trevor following behind.

“Go get your girl!” Trevor yelled as Jamie started the bronco, waving his hand at Trevor before pulling out of the driveway. He knew he was doing well over the speed limit but he couldn’t care less, running all the red lights and stop signs. He just needed you. To hell with the closure he was finally getting, he was getting to you.

You read the message over a hundred times, what was he doing? The knock on your door shaking you from your thoughts.

Behind the door stood jamie, his hair and clothes damp from the rain. The bronco parked, badly, behind him.

“What’re you doing here, Jamie?”

“I need you.” his voice was hoarse, barely above a whisper.

“Jamie, we agreed to move on.” he could see the tears that started to pool in your eyes before you could blink them away.

“Please, we can do this.”

“Jamie-”

“Why put out a fire when it's still burning?” His words made you stop, making it sound like he knew you were always more than a fling.

“What are you saying?”

“God, baby girl, don’t make me say it. You mean so much to me. You were always more than a fling.” the way his hair stuck to his face, the freckles that littered all over his face, his puppy dogs eyes, you were a goner.

“Jamie.” he took the cue, pulling you into his chest, arms tight against your waist, keeping you as close to him as possible. Letting your hand travel through his wet hair, tugging on the stands a bit making him shiver. His face buried in your neck, gently littering kisses.

“Let’s go for a ride, please.” his words muffled but still heard, nodding your head. He pulled way enough to try to lift you, making you shake your head. A confused look spread over his face.

“I need clothes, pretty boy.” you giggled, him joining in, following you inside. He followed you all the way to your bedroom, stopping outside.

“Jamie?” you asked, confused when he didn’t come in.

“Don’t want to make you uncomfy.” he said

“Jam, it’s okay. You can come in, it’s not like you haven't seen everything before.” his face flushed at the words but nonetheless entered. Sitting on your bed while you dug through your drawers for something better than the pajamas you’d been wearing. Choosing leggings and one of Jamie's shirts he left here one, letting it fall over you.

Turning around to tell Jamie you were ready, his breath hitched. You standing there wearing his clothes, it was enough to make him want to grab you and never let go. You could see how dilated his pupils were, how intently he started, and how he looked like a fool in love as he started.

“Jam, let’s go.” the words snapped him from his trance, getting up slowly. Picking you up and carrying you to the bronco.

“Jamie!” you giggled, making him smile, “I don’t have shoes!”

“It’s okay baby girl, you can stay in the car the entire time.”

You nodded, leaning into him while he walked to the bronco, the rain wetting the both of you but neither seemed bothered. He buckled you in, just like always before running over to the drivers side. He was quick to start the bronco, pulling out of the driveway just as fast.

“Where are we going?” it finally dawned on you, you had no clue where he was taking you.

“Just a special spot.”

“What does that mean, jimmy?” He groaned at the nickname.

“Don’t you start calling me that, you always call me pretty boy.”

“Okay, okay, pretty boy.” he smiled, reaching over to take your hand.

He drove for an hour, looking over to the passengers seat to see you asleep, knees tucked up to your chest. His heart melted at the sight, continuing the drive, still holding your hand. It was another half hour before he parked, at the top of a hill, covered by trees.

“Baby girl,” he was soft with his voice, gently shaking you a little, “we’re here.”

You groaned, burring in him, where he stood outside, him almost dropping you when you clung to him. He laughed, holding you up with his arms, your legs wrapped around his waist. You pulled your head away to look around, seeing only trees and a clearing ahead.

“Where are we?”

“A little spot me and Trevor found, it’s perfect to watch the sunrise.”

You looked around, the bronco backed in, the tailgate open with a blanket over the back.

“Oh jamie,” your heart adorned with love at the sight, “it’s amazing.”

“Only the best for my girl.”

“Your girl?”

“Yeah, my girl.” he didn’t let the words continue, pressing his lips to yours. Your hands tangling through his hair again, his stay holding you up and against him. Walking the two of you over to the bronco, setting you down gently, letting you move in.

He followed behind, sliding in beside you, wrapping his arm around you. Letting you curl into him. The sun rose quickly, illuminating the two of you in a golden hue. You stared at Jamie, his freckles lit up, his eyes almost glowing in the light.

“Take a picture, it'll last longer.” he joked, not expecting you to take out your phone and take a few. “Do I at least look good in them?”

“Jamie, you always look good.” He almost cut you off with how quickly he kissed you. Pressing against you, laying you down.

You had been in the position many times but it was different now, he was yours. He kept his body against yours, leading your hands to his hair again, letting you tug a bit at the strands, this time electing a groan. When you pulled away he chased, making you push him back a bit.

“Jamie, slow.” he groaned at the words, head falling onto your chest.

“But I just got you.”

“Jam, we are not doing this in Trev’s bronco.”

“He’d never know.” you could feel the smirk as he said it, making you smack the back of his head playfully.

“Jamie!” you scolded.

“What?” His feigned innocence didn’t last long as he kissed you again, his hands rubbing your hips, not breaking the kiss while he sat up, pulling you into his lap.

“Jaim, not in here.” you mumbled against his lips.

“He’d never know.” his words making you fully pull away from him.

“Jamie Drysdale, we are not having sex in Trevor's bronco.”

“But-”

“Jamie! No.” he groaned, tucking into your neck. “If you take me home…” you trailed off, seeing how quickly he pulled away, picking you up and bringing you back to the front.

He moved quickly, throwing the tailgate closed, bucking you in and starting the bronco, and starting the drive.

“You’re in a rush.” you played, grabbing his hand that was set on your thigh.

“Baby, i finally got you back and you're making me wait another hour at least, if i can speed this up i will.” you giggled, drawing circles on his hand.

“What if I fall asleep again?”

“Then, I'll carry you in and go to sleep beside you. I’ll wait forever for you, if i have to” you knew Jamie was a good guy, but he never seemed more amazing than right now.

“I love you.” The words were barely above a whisper, but he heard them.

“I love you too.”

#jamie drysdale #jamie drysdale x reader #jamie drysdale imagine #anaheim ducks imagines #anaheim ducks #nhl imagine #mads writings!

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misspearly1 · 2 years

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Day Sixteen: Restraints - Marcus Pike

Kinktober22 List

WC: 2K Warnings: 18+ Content. Minors DNI. Established relationship. Husband & Wife. Angst. (Marcus seeing some distressing shit at work and seeking readers comfort). Restraints. Smut. Unprotected PIV. Praise kink (use of 'good boy'). Emotional subjects. AN: Oh, I'm sorry, I was in my angsty feels when writing this. I haven't gone into detail of what Marcus (as an FBI agent) sees at work, but I have gone into detail about how he is affected by it. With that out of the way, I hope you enjoy the read my loves.

Tight hands are wrapped around Marcus’ back with a reassuring squeeze, a small but meaningful gesture transporting all your love and comfort, however it was not nearly enough, not to soothe his current needy and distressed state.

The man, unfortunately, has experienced a lot of things in his line of work that no person should have to experience. Working within the FBI agency certainly has its ups and downs, moments that can make a sound minded man question life itself at times. Today is one of those days where Marcus experienced something that no one else should while working for the government to protect the public.

All you know is that there was an old case file dug up from a filing cabinet when a new lead came up and for weeks, you watched your husband become more and more determined to crack the case. This one almost swallowed him up, but he persevered and stuck it through to the very end. You know that a suspect has been arrested and is in a cell right now, but whatever Marcus saw tonight, was enough to bring him home to you in an anguished state of mind.

So no matter how tightly you hug his fragile body, or whisper your love to reassure his vulnerable mind, it simply wasn’t enough. Marcus needed more, needed something to physically take his mind away for a little while, forget about everything that bothers him, then bring him back to the land of the living. And you, as his loving devout wife of four years, know exactly how to do that.

It’s not just one thing that helps, it’s a whole range of things, but the starting point is your leather binds tightly wrapped around his wrists, tying him down to the bed frame so you can physically comfort him via pleasure. “Lay back for me.” You whisper delicately, fingers threading through his messy hair. “I’ll take it all away baby, just lay back for me.” You repeat and Marcus nods silently into your neck before moving up the bed, still with you in his arms.

Your hug may not have been enough, but Marcus still needed and appreciated it nonetheless. He, too, had his hands tightly wrapped around your back and didn’t let go right away when laying his head onto the cushion. You felt his breathing change, it became heavy with need, almost panting into your neck as he plants a kiss on the skin.

There were a thousand things Marcus wanted to say to you, but couldn’t muster up the energy to do so. You know the man like the back of your hand, he is exhausted, mentally exhausted and in times like this especially, he finds solace when buried in your heat. The kiss he lay on your skin was his silent way of telling you that he’s ready to let you take over. And you did, beautifully.

Starting off with little kisses to his neck, you unbutton his shirt, conscientiously listening to every breathy sigh escaping his lips. Marcus may have momentarily lost his voice, but the sounds he makes speaks to your mind, telling you everything you need to know as you continue. Watching and feeling his body react to your touch, you physically see his shoulders sink with the tension escaping his muscles.

“So handsome.” You whisper once his short is fully opened. Changing course, you now kiss a path down his chest and over the expanse of his stomach, stopping at the little trail of hair leading into his pants. You take your time there, placing opened mouth kisses to the skin under his belly button while watching his face change carefully. His brows contort, lips part with a stuttered breath slipping out and his stomach twitches with each rise and fall of his chest. Your actions tickled his skin, working effectively to distract him.

“I’ll take care of you, baby.” You say with sincerity while palming the brute strength held within his thighs. A shudder ripples across his body when your breath blows over his crotch, lips just seconds away from making contact. Moving down the bed slightly and positioning yourself between his thighs, you press your lips against the tent in his slacks, humming deeply and using the vibrations to pleasure him. You can feel his cock reacting to your touch, twitching under the clothes.

“Not long now.” You reassure in a whisper, keeping your voice at a mellow level that matches the peaceful energy filling the room. Carefully, you start unbuckling his belt and pulling the leather out of the hoops. Marcus’ breathing, once again, changes before your very eyes. It deepens with anticipation, wordlessly begging for your touch. You don’t wish to keep him waiting and make quick, but gentle, work of opening his pants and pulling them down fully.

“Almost there.” You murmur, reaching for the top drawer of the cabinet beside your bed. Pulling out a set of leather cuffs, you move up Marcus’ body and strategically sit in his lap, laying your warmth over his crotch with a subtle roll of your hips that draws out a grunt from deep within his stomach. “Lift your arms, baby.” You request and he obliges.

Marcus had kept his eyes closed ever since he sat on the edge of the bed and pulled you in for a tight hug, but right now as you seal one cuff around his wrist then loop it around the metal bar in the middle of your headboard, he finally opens his eyes. Half lidded, drowsy and pained, he gazed at you from below and cracked a small smile when you met his line of sight. You mouth the words ‘I love you’ and watch as he instantly closes his eyes again, his lips trembling as he only manages a nod in return. He’s still sensitive, still too deep in those dark thoughts.

“You’re okay, it’s okay.” You whisper with a warm, soothing tone. After making sure the cuffs were secured around the metal bar in the headboard, you plant your hands to his chest and lean down to kiss the corner of his mouth. Letting him decide if he’s ready or not for a kiss on the lips, which he was. Marcus tilts his head slightly, opening his mouth a little and invites you in.

Humming softly, you continue to roll your hips over his crotch in a delicate manner, carefully drawing out the weakest moan from him. You break off from the kiss and remove your shirt - his shirt. You choose to wear Marcus clothes because of the comfort it brings you in the night when he’s busy at work, basking in the lingering scent of him embedded into the fabric. Still choosing to not waste any more time, partially because of your own impatience, you pull down the waistband of his boxers and free his length from within, already hard and leaking pebbles of pre-cum from the tip.

“Can you look at me, handsome?” You ask, wanting him to focus on you and not the thoughts behind his closed eyelids. Marcus does open them and you watch as the irises expand with a long needy sigh pouring from his lips. “Just keep looking at me, baby.” You smile, not fully, just tenderly.

Maintaining his eye contact, you lift your hips up and pull your panties to the side, then notch him at your entrance, absorbing the grunt that he provides. He then grits his teeth and pulls against his binds as you sink down, taking every inch of him inside until there’s no more and you’re buried to the hilt. “There you go, that’s it.” You praise upon hearing the guttural groans he gives from the sensation of your heat wrapped around him. “Oh.” You moan too.

Your warm, tight embrace is what he needed, bringing your husband back from the gloomy pits of his mind. He pulls on the binds again, as if desperate to touch hold you, to grip your hips and fuck you from below, but all he could do was writhe with need as you remain still. Laying both your hands to his chest, the position pushing your boobs together, you rotate your hips once then wait a few moments before moving again.

“Fuuck!” Marcus whines with an almost look of regret on his face, as if he were regretful for allowing you to tie him to the bed. Laying your forearms down at either side of his head, you deliberately avoid him seeking out a kiss and reward him with grinding instead. “Need you to come for me first, sexy.” You whisper, your brows pulling together from the pleasure. “Come for me, baby please.” You beg.

“Jesus fucking Christ, Y/N.” He grumbles, choking out a grunt. The heels of his feet dig into the mattress, his toes curling as he fights the urge to close his eyes and his hands wrap around the strap of his binds, yanking on them hard while groaning hopelessly, painfully. Pressing his sweat covered forehead against yours, he blows heavy heaving breaths across your face and caves. “Shit- ok, okay beautiful.”

“Good boy.” You praise again, this time purposely calling him a good boy knowing how much he likes it. Working together to reach the peaks of your orgasms, you slam your hips down to meet his thrusting movements up from the bed. You see the muscles in his arms strain against the force he was pulling on his restraints and feel the frustration in his heavy grunts bellowing across your face.

“Close aren’t you, sweetheart?” You whisper mockingly, hoping to drive him over the edge as your own release races towards you. “Come for me Marcus, please baby. Give me what I want.” Pleading through your moans, you can feel and hear your desire making a mess on his crotch, audibly making a wet slapping sound each time his cock thrusts into your cunt. The angle was most pleasurable, caressing your g-spot nicely.

“Fuck-yes. Don’t slow down, I’m cummin’.” He cries out a moan and continues to moan throughout the peak of his high, gasping loudly and grunting deeply when spilling ropes upon ropes deep inside of you. The sound of your own moans prolonging his climax, drawing out every last drop he could give.

“Marcus!” You whine pathetically, releasing the prettiest, dirtiest, whimpers during your orgasm, the sound so loud it’s bound to wake the neighbours, but he doesn’t care and neither do you. Losing yourself within the pleasure, still slamming your hips down onto Marcus, the faintest sniffle draws your focus back to him and you see the tears welling up in the corner of his eyes.

“No, it’s okay.” He reassures upon feeling your movements slow down. “It’s ok, I’m okay, baby. Just… I just feel…”

“Safe, babe. You feel safe.” You finish his sentence, shushing him softly. Marcus nods then, agreeing with you and letting the tears roll. Kissing him while untying the binds around his wrists, as soon as the man is free, his hands are on you in a flash. He wraps his arms around your back, grabbing the globes of your ass with a bruising grip as he sobs quietly.

Keeping himself buried inside of your warmth, he lifts up and reaches for the blankets to pull them over your back. You continue to kiss Marcus, continue to whisper your reassurances until a peaceful silence falls over the room. As the hours pass just laying over his chest, his arms squeezing you oh so tight, you fight the urge to sleep through it all and stay awake, to be there for him.

You didn’t need to tell the man that he can open up about it whenever he feels comfortable enough, he already knew, and it was in the early hours of the morning when he mustered up enough courage to share. Not a lot, it was still a sensitive subject to even think about, let alone talk about, but just enough to let you into the dark and understand why he seeks your light.

Marcus didn’t share what it was that he saw exactly, but he did share that it horrified him so deeply to the core that he needed to come home to you, to just hold onto what he loves most and never let go.

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angeart · 3 months

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ask game 12 &13!

yayy more questions! okay i'll start with 13 because it's simpler:

13.Any segment of your work that made you cry while writing it? (because it moved you deeply)

so. i cry easily. but i don't tend to cry while writing, i think? i don't have the greatest memory, so i can't be sure. i remember one time i cried while writing hmtb, but it wasn't because i was moved deeply jcnbjk (it was actually a mellow scene and i just. unexpectedly triggered an unpleasant memory, oops.)

in a way, i think it's easier to get emotional while working on RPs, actually. i might've cried at those in the past, mmh.

now, if you asked me when did i get anxious while writing. that's a whole another thing. i do deal with a lot of heavy emotions in writing, and, yeah. anyway, the answer is yesterday. (hmtb grian is doing perfectly well wdym-) (i had to stop writing after 8 sentences and take a break everything's fine-)

12.Funniest comment you've ever gotten in a piece of work?

this is a fun one! i don't think i have a favourite, i'm not the best with putting things on a scale and deciding that's the most this or that. add my bad memory into the mix, and about a year of writing a multichapter fic, and- well. but! i dug through and made a small collection of comments that amuse me! (there were many more, but i'm trying not to swarm you completely.)

i cannot tell you how much i appreciate and value the comments i get. i read every single one, and they matter a lot! they help me immensely and i am insanely grateful for them. <33

anyway, the collection of comments that make me giggle is under the line!

♥ please, consider this a love letter to all the commenters. ♥

Chocolate_Cake_Enthusiast on Chapter 3 of Elegy: ANGE UOU ARE THE SINGULAR SOURCE OF MY ANGST AND DEPRESSION (…) POOR GRIAN HE BETTER BE ALRIGHT OTHERWISE I WILL CHUCK A TENNIS BALL AT MY TOE

ghostpi on Chapter 7 of hmtb: TIS BUT A FLESH WOUND.

Eucalypta on Chapter 18 of hmtb: I forgot this had a ship tag so I was reading all previous chapters like: "what deep soulmates they are! Wait … Thats a bit gay. Well sometimes platonic love goes very dee- No thats definitely gay… What were the tags again?"

Tiand on Chapter 21 of hmtb: So- uh- Where can I send my therapy bill?

wimrow on Chapter 26 of hmtb: WOOOOO I DONT FEWL LIKE SOBBING WITJ THIS CHAPTER!!!!!! (this will absolutely change later on won’t it)

genderfluid_bitch on Chapter 29: *does a little jig* THE BABIES ARE HURTING AGAIN

Amabsis on Chapter 30 of hmtb: “Grian, are you okay?” NOBODY IS OKAY IMPULSESV!!!

Chat on Chapter 31 of hmtb: THATS A BRILLIANT WAY TO END A CHAPTER BUT OH MY FUCKERY ARE YOU CRUEL FOR IT.

peskytimes on Chapter 39 of hmtb: everytime i read this fic my mental state gets worse <33 /pos

Alcea_42 on Chapter 42 of hmtb: so sometimes 42 doesn't solve everything-

Holly_Loves_Reading on Chapter 46 of hmtb: Oh my god they’re so cute! Not even a little bit healthy, but so cute!

Pidgey05 on Chapter 47 of hmtb: Omg 200k words of pain and now finnally some fluff T^T it was so beautiful thank you author, for this gift 🤣

SongbirdQuela on Chapter 48 of hmtb: Everything’s going so well! Oh jee wiz I hope nothing goes incredibly wrong, boy would that be a rollercoaster, oh golly I can’t wait to see absolutely none of the characters doing anything self destructive!

Heartpaw on Chapter 48 of hmtb: “Did you two have a romp?” Says you. Your the one not wearing you own pants. Are you sure YOU didn’t have a romp

also have a kiss collection of you guys going insane <33

The_Pesky_Crow on Chapter 28 of hmtb: 12 Chapters from now, in a land far far away, the Grain kisses the Scar

Linkito on Chapter 41 of hmtb: I absolutely cannot believe that I binged this FORTY ONE chapter fic of A HUNDRED AND SIXTY THOUSAND WORDS and these idiots haven't kissed. Unbelievable. You're taking slow burn to a whole new level bless you and also I hate you LMAO

Bones_exe on Chapter 44 of hmtb: I'm going to be a crinkly old man by the time these two smooch huh?

Chocolate_Cake_Enthusiast on Chapter 44 of hmtb: JUST KISS ALREADY. PLEASE. FOR THE LOVE OF GOD. PLEASE JUST KISS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Xanadu:Wynter on Chapter 45 of hmtb: PLEASE JUST ONE KISS

Bioluminescence on Chapter 45 of hmtb: I THOUGHT THEY WERE GOING TO KISS I WAS HOLDING MY BREATH AND THEN THEY DIDN'T this is honestly so predictable of you though smh

and some bonus screenshot stuff <3 (first two from elegy, the rest is hmtb)

(in the one below you can see a beautiful duality of comments /pos)

i hope that was fun. i had fun putting this together <3

love you guys!!

----- questions from >>this ask game<<

#ange answers #comments appreciation #seriously comments mean so much to me #thank youuuu #ange rambles #i can't help it sorryyyy kjcnbxk #feel free to come ask more stuff <3 #and yes link #your comment got featured #i love it #i love all of them

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taegularities · 5 months

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ive just finished reading a book that shattered my heart into infinite pieces and i am not even joking a bit. i knew that the book was as good once i started crying and tears never stopped. i think 70% of that book was me crying. now i have swollen eyelids lol. i never cried so much over something since i watched Hachiko the movie. like real sob, sounds coming out from my mouth, the real hurting package thing :(

now i need another book as beautiful as this one. and i don’t think i would recovered from this one yet. she even mentionned one direction’s songs to describe the relationship between the two mc. i am fucking torn. oh btw the book is « a thousand boy kisses » by Tillie Cole. have you ever heard about it?

have you any recommendations? also i am debating myself to buy a kindle. although i do like the idea of paper book, idk. i spend most of my nights reading ff to be honest but since last month i can’t find any that is why i switch back to « real » book again. although i think i missed a lot of your series too i have to read them.

that made me think, is there any books that made you to start writing? how did you find telling yourself that you wanted to write? would you considered it as an hobbie or a passion? pardon me if you had already answered those questions in the past too. in that book i’ve read, author was talking a lot about passion and made me realize that besides piano - i am unfortunately not really into it anymore - i don’t have any. like isn’t it beautiful to say that we had something to hold on, to escape? i miss that..

i talked a lot today lol i am so sorry. oh and if any of your followers as any book recommandations (not ff too), i take!!! 🤎

oh gosh, babe.. have you recovered from it yet? i know that feeling so well. some stories just stay with us and are hard, if not impossible to forget. i know it hurts, but i'm also glad you found a book you could enjoy the way you did. i haven't heard of it, by the way! but just googled it, and it sounds beautiful. soulmate au :(

i wish i could rec stories, but i think it's genuinely been years since i read a proper book. i know 'me before you' and its sequel made me cry :') definitely get that kindle if you've been reading a lot these days! i do prefer paperback, too, but i get the appeal of an e-book.

yeah, honestly, that's gonna sound extremely mainstream, but books that made me write were john green's stories, the novel 'every day' by david levithan and (okay, don't laugh pls lol), but ed sheeran's songs. there's beauty in all those – a lot of talk of love and the stars, of soft and sweet things. which is probably why my writing ended up the way it is today? but i've always written tbh… i enjoyed reading and at some point, i started a random ass story back when i was 13 or so (it was horrible) and then wrote my first stuff in english when i started this blog. i wanted to try it out. play with words, see if i'm any good at it? and yeah, now i'm kinda in love with it and trying to be better every day <3 so i'd say it's both a hobby and a passion. truly an activity i enjoy the most.

it's beautiful to have something like this, true. i hope you find your passion, too <3 and tbh, i'm so grateful you asked all that? bc i love talking about these things.. like what, you're actually interested in me and getting to know me?? i'll blush lol :') love you <3

#some rid lore lol #if anyone's got recs let axelle know!!!!#also you missed some of my series? wait which one :O you've been reading cmi as far as i recall!!#notes for rid 🌹#axelle <3

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clatoera · 1 year

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ive been having a busy two days so i haven't been able to review the 8th chapter!!! but oh my god i forgot about the 3rd quarter quell... im in PAAAAINNNNNNN IM IN PAAAAAAAAINNN........ well surely they have to volunteer because of the threat on their families.. surely!!! BUT ALSO LET THEM LIVE..!!!!! im so curious as to what's going to happen! is it going to be clove and cato?? is it going to be eno and brutus!?!?! is it going to be a heartbreaking combination of cato and enobaria?!?!?!? (reminiscent of the "i might lose them both tonight" in mockingjay). not to mention the real star crossed lovers, glim glam bestie and the first silly tribute panem's ever known, marvel. if all four of them go in i personally might have to go into the fic to get all four out BECAUSE I CANNOT HANDLE MAJOR CHARACTER DEATH! i need the plot armor that clove and cato have to be generously extended to literally everyone else. i can't stop thinking about how if the youngest careers go in ONE OF THEM WILL DIE because they are the shiny careers! they need to fight against the rebels! and if they don't then it's over for their families!!! IT'S SO SO PAINFUL. i need the triple everlark/clato/glimmarvel wedding and the fic to wrap up next chapter on the happiest note BECAUSE HOW WILL I SURVIVE!!!! great fic with a great cliffhanger as always!! good luck with your exams take all the time you need we will always be here

me, reading this ask FR

I don't know if you know this bestie BUT.. I control what happens and who gets the plot armor and I'm MENTALLY ILLY and will extend it to WHOEVER I want because I don't care if somethings unrealistic This is OUR place WE make the rules. Thats..what I can say on that.

I know who goes in and I know who survives and i know who survives the war and what happens after :))) And I can promise you may or may not be upset! Or may or may not be happy!

However I can tell you one DEFINITE thing and thats Glimmer is NEVEr and I mean EVER sharing a wedding with Katniss Everdeen have you met her (if you crawl into the fic you will) but seriously Glimmer screams I want SIX dress changes I want FIREWORKS I want at least ten thousand flowers and Katniss is like..so like do I HAVE to kiss a boy. You know? ( i love u Katniss i SWEAR <3)

Thank you for your endless support <3 I really appreciate the understanding with my exams as well, I'm starting to feel the stress of those!

Thank you thank you thank you again for always like..being so interactive and caring about this fic. it means the absolute world to me. Truly, I don't know if i'd be able to write the volume I do if I didn't know people liked it!

#arwbfb tag #answered asks

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themultifandomgal · 2 years

Text

Temptation Pt21

Temptation Masterlist

Emmett is thrown across the clearing by Jasper while the rest of us watch

"Again!" Emmett shouts, I can clearly see his ego has slightly been hurt because he knows he's the strongest out of all of us, but sometimes he's not the smartest. Edward arrives with Bella then soon after after the wolves join us

"They don't trust us enough to be in their human forms" Edward says obviously reading their minds

"They came. That's what matters. Will you translate?" Carlisle asks Edward, who nods agreeing. They walk a little closer to the pack, Emmett's hands rest on my hips

"Welcome. Jasper has experience with newborns. He'll teach us how to defeat them"

"They want to know how the newborns differ from us"

"They're a great deal stronger than us, because their own human blood lingers in their tissues. Our kind is never more physically powerful than in our first several months of this life" Carlisle looks over to Jasper to continue

"Carlisles right. That's why their created. A newborn army doesn't need thousands like a human army" I shift a little and Emmett comforts me by rubbing his hands over my arms "no human army could stand against them. Now the two most important things to remember are, first never let them get their arms around you. They will crush you instantly. And second, never go for the obvious kill. They'll be expecting that, and you will loose. Emmett!" Emmett kisses my head and walks away with Jasper. I go over to Alice and Bella to watch the boys fight

"Don't hold back"

"Not in my nature" Emmett smirks then rushed to Jasper. They throw each other around and then Emmett looks at me, but Jasper then floors him

"Never loose focus"

Next up is Edward and Carlisle. Carlisle wins. Then Jasper and Rose have a go, of course Jasper wins. Alice then has a go and ends up winning by jumping on Jaspers back and kissing him.

"I know this is something we have never spoken about you doing, but would you turn into a wolf Kat? during the fight" Jasper asks and I instantly get nervous

"No. I errr I don't think it's a good idea. My sent will come out and you'll all hate me and any way I haven't turned in so long I don't know if I can"

"Its might help us" Jasper continues but I shake my head

"Kat you don't have to, but none of us here will hate you. Your our family and we love you dearly" Esme says

"I don't know" I shrug

"Well if not then we best train you harder. You aren't as quick, but your nimble. We can use that, use the trees to your advantage. Thomas your up" Thomas and I move to the middle of the clearing where all the flights took place

"Ready?" he asks and I nod. Thomas charges at me but I dodge him I kick his leg causing him to fall but he grabs mine and I fall next to him. Thomas picks me up and throws me across the clearing

"Bro be careful"

"Emmett" I scold shaking my head. I run to Thomas and kick him in the stomach causing him to fly backwards. Thomas ends up winning our fight, throwing me down on the ground many times.

I walk over to Emmett who starts to check me over

"I'm fine stop worrying"

"I'll always worry about you" he kisses my forehead

"Is it time for more food?" I ask looking up

"Geeze woman. Don't ever stop eating" Emmett laughs putting his arm over my shoulders.

The training ends and we all head home after Bella asks Jasper about the newborns and how he knows so much. Jasper tells her about Maria and the army she created and how he was in the Texas cavalry and ended up being a second in command and trained the newborns. Once we arrive home I head straight for the kitchen and open the fridge getting out a stake. I then put it under the grill to semi cook

"Hey" Jasper walks in

"Hey" I smile at him

"I'm sorry if I made you uncomfortable. I just thought you would want to turn after all these years. You know after getting to really know you, none of us hand an issue if you wanted to go for a run"

"Thanks Jasp. The truth is I really don't know if I can, and if I do it will be like you trying to remember what it was like to be human. I won't be of use that way. We are supposed to be in touch with our wolves and it's been so long I haven't felt mine"

"Well if or when you do decide to turn. We all have your back"

"To right we do" I know see the others stood at the kitchen entrance

"All of you?" I look at Rose then Edward

"Yes all of us. Anyway your a Cullen not a Black" Rosalie smiles

"Thanks" I take out my stake and wait for it to cool

"Eat up then go to sleep. Your going to need as much energy you can get" Carlisle says "and Emmett when I tell her to get rest and sleep I mean it" he points his finger. Emmett puts his hands up in defence making me laugh

"I love you guys"

"We love you too. Even Edward even though he rarely shows it" Alice comments.

I finish off my food and head up to bed, Emmett coming with me. I get changed and lie down resting my head on Emmetts chest while he puts the TV on quietly.

#twilight #alice cullen #carlisle cullen #edward cullen #esme cullen #jasper cullen #twilight x reader #breaking dawn #eclipse #new moon #emmett cullen x reader #bella swan #rosalie hale

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jaedreaminn · 3 years

Text

On The Bridge

Summary

The water under the bridge was luring but no as much as the boy on the bridge.

Or maybe you were just convincing yourself you liked the water because you hadn't met the boy yet...

Pairings: Renjun x fem!reader

Characters: Renjun, Doyoung «mentioned» Chenle, Taeyong.

About: Angst, recovery, comfort, semicolon, light humour, sad, Bitter-Sweet, open ending.

Word Count: 4.6k

WARNINGS

Mentions of suicide! Attempt at suicide! (Nothing graphic) Read with caution it gets heavy.

Toxic family relations.

Mentioned bullying.

Reader suffers from depression.

You sat on the thick railing of the bridge, legs dangling high above the moon lit waters. It was truly a beautiful and calming site, so peaceful and pure, the complete opposite of your thoughts.

Up on this bridge you were lost in a trance, trapped in a void of your own thoughts that were empty but at the same time raging.

You failed to notice a presence besides you so you were quite startled when a voice spoke asking you, "Why are you here?"

You blinked once at the pretty who sat next to you before calmly answering him, "To watch the water."

"You're not here to....umm..."

"Join the water?" You asked a small teasing smile creeping on you face and the boy seemed to curl into himself.

"Y-yea that" he stuttered.

"Yea I'm here to join the water." You said and he frowned, "But not today. I'll do that the moment my birthday ends" you said with a smile and he looked at you in awe.

"Leave this world a day after I arrived, won't that be cool?" You asked and he hesitated before nodding.

"It would be cool..." He said slowly sitting up straight.

"So you're here to jump too?" You asked, your words too bold and unfiltered for him.

"Oh- umm I, Y-yea" he stuttered, panicking and you smiled softly again.

"I don't think you will. You seem too cowardly to actually jump...I mean you couldn't even properly ask me if I was going to jump" you said with a shrug while the boy with blond hair (you just noticed) slowly calmed down.

"I am." He said with a small nod, "But I wasn't always scared it's just...." He trailed, biting his lip not sure whether to tell you or not.

"Just what?" you asked eyes innocently curiously, he held his breath for a minute contemplating whether to tell you or not and then sighed, "I used to sneak out and come here every night but every time my younger brother would know I was gone and would always follow me here" he said eyes glistening and you felt entrapped in his sullen gaze.

"And we'd sit here on this bridge every night talking about anything and everything. He was bubbly and carefree but always held onto my hand tightly as if he knew I would jump if he let go. But I could never tell if he knew or not because the only thing that was bluntly visible on his face was his million dollar smile." the boy said with a small twinkle in his eye.

"Where is he now?" You asked and a sad smile made its way to the boy’s soft features.

"He's shining as the brightest star in the sky" he replied, pointing up at no particular star.

"He was sick. Born a sick child, I always knew he was going to go early." the boy said and you felt sorry for him, the way he smiled sadly to himself holding the weight of losing a loved on his lean shoulders.

"I'm so"

"No don't say sorry, he lived a good life" he cut you off and for a few minutes the two of you just sat on the bridge silently, two broken souls.

"What's your name?" You finally asked and he looked hesitant before he spoke, "Huang Renjun"

"Hi Renjun I'm Kim y/n" you said offering him a smile with an enthusiastic wave.

"Hi y/n" he said with a small laugh at your gesture, which he found cute.

"So why do you still come here Renjun?" You asked and Renjun stilled, breathing slowly he spoke "I want to jump. I can't handle life anymore but every time it feels like someone's holding onto my arm..." He trailed off and you felt your heart sink, he lived only because of the memory of his brother.

"Why are you here y/n?" He asked, changing the topic.

"Me? Well...I recently shifted here with my parents. My brother stayed back but it's not like he lived with us. I hated my old school and my entire experience there. It scared me to the point I have an anxiety attack at the thought of going to any school so I'm being home schooled now. Home school isn't better though considering I'm stuck at home with the constant yelling. I'm invisible now almost as if I was never supposed to exist so that's what I'm here to do. To not exist." you said in one go biting your lip nervously at the thought of over sharing but Renjun smiled at you and you felt your nervous heartbeat calm down. You also noticed that he really was a beautiful boy because one small smile on his face looked so captivating to you.

"That's sad... I wish you didn't feel that way" he said earnestly and you felt something close to genuine happiness at that statement for a brief second.

"And I wish I was never born...it's not fair to me" you said with a sigh eyes fixed on the water again. Jumping into it and being lost in its current seemed like the most peaceful and joyful thing in the world to you. The coldness of the water and the darkness of the night wrapped around you like a blanket as you finally let go. It sounded perfect.

"What if you find a reason to live?" Renjun asked interrupting your thoughts and you frowned. There wasn't a reason, there never was going to be and even if there was one reason to live there were thousand other reasons to leave.

"What was your brother's name?" You asked changing the topic. Renjun smiled and simply answered, "Zhong Chenle" without prying any further.

And so you two bonded talking about anything and everything or nothing at all. And every night, like routine you went to the bridge and he was there. And that's how you made your first and probably your last friend.

It was on one of the more cheerful nights when Renjun was animatedly telling you about his baby brothers dolphin laugh and about how contagious it was that it had delayed his cake cutting by fifteen minutes because he couldn't stop laughing that you told Renjun when your birthday was.

"In two weeks!" Renjun exclaimed shocked, a frown plastered on his face.

"Yes in two weeks" you repeated with a small giggle at how cute his flustered self looked.

"But that's so soon" he subconsciously pouted rather cutely.

"Want to join me?" You asked even though you knew his answer.

"I would if I wasn't a coward" Renjun said with a frown and held your hand. "I'll miss you"

"At least someone will" you said with a dead laugh and Renjun frowned, for some reason he was convinced people knew you existed. And maybe they knew but if you didn't want to live it was your choice not theirs.

"My brother's in town and we used to be so close now it's only awkward small talk as if he hates talking to me" you said with a sarcastic laugh but it only sounded like a strangled cry and Renjun put a comforting hand on your shoulder not saying anything.

"And my parents...well they don't talk they yell" you scoffed, "They probably haven't even noticed I live with them by how occupied they are trying to hurt each other"

"And I never had any friends and I wouldn't call the people at my old school my friends...ever. They broke me and said that's just how they are or that I'm being dramatic. It was always just me. I'm always stuck outside as if I was never meant to be and maybe I'm not..." You said a sob escaping your lips after your outed your demons and Renjuns heart broke as he pulled you towards him and hugged you as you silently sniffed.

"Don’t worry you won't go alone, I'll come and say goodbye to you" he whispered in your ear and a small smile made its way to your face, glad that he understood you.

"I'd try to stop you but I know it's stupid to try to stop you when I myself want to jump so bad" he said as he tightened his hold around you and you lay your head on his chest. Renjun wasn't cold like the waters were but being in his embrace still brought you peace.

"How come you're waiting till after your birthday?" He asked you and a small smile made its way to your face, finally a question you wanted to answer. "Because that's the one day the yelling stops and everyone pretends like everything is fine and the one day they notice me. It's the one day I'm everyone's favourite and I want their last memory of me to be a happy one" you said, recollecting those rare happy memories as you listened to Renjuns heartbeat.

"I'll send you away happy too so you'd have one last happy memory too" he said resting his head on yours.

He was so warm but you didn't hate it as much as you did and suddenly the water looked too cold.

And so two weeks started to go by and your nights with Renjun got weirder and weirder, he would either be really talkative or extremely quiet. And not the comfortable quite you were used to, not when everything about his quite presence screamed THINKING LOUDLY. But it didn't bother you for too long.

The day of your birthday went as you predicted. Everyone was smiling and suddenly you were the center of everyone's attention. With fake smiles and happiness and peace that wouldn't last. At least their last memory of you was you smiling right? Maybe they won't feel guilty for too long because you were never supposed to exist. But at the same time you wanted them to hurt the way you did, to regret not being able to save you.

The day went by cheerful and night came, you kissed your parents good night and hugged your brother properly for the first time after he returned. You were pretty sure you shocked him a bit but it was your last good bye. You needed it. He was the one you cared for the most in your family.

Once night fell and you were sure everyone was too tired to care you creeped out towards the bridge walking there quickly in anticipation of Renjuns good bye so you frowned when you realised he wasn't there.

You looked at your phone, 11:45.

He still had fifteen minutes to arrive maybe he'd say goodbye to you then.

But it was soon 11:59 and no one had come onto the bridge other than a stray cat.

You frowned looking at the screen on your phone as tears made its way to your eyes, you were always meant to be die unnoticed and alone.

The numbers on the clock changed from 11:59 to 12:00 and you placed it down on the railing next to you as you leaned over to look at the water.

Stupid Renjun, his warmth made the cold water which you loved before seem too cold. But at least it was dark.

You placed your arms on both sides of the railings and gave yourself a slight push ready to slip and fall off but just then a hand clasped onto your arm and you turned around to look at a red faced Renjun.

"M-my brother used to...” he panted, out of breath and you looked at his pleading eyes worried. “He used to hold onto me and now I'm going to hold onto you" he said, breathing heavily from his run here.

"B-but you said you understood" you yelled anger bubbling inside of you, a frown making its way to your face, how could he stop you just because he was scared.

"I didn't understand two shits." He said sternly, standing up straight. "At first you inspired me and I thought that I'd finally have to courage to jump if I do it with you but then I didn't want to see you go....I already saw Chenle go without being able to do anything for my baby brother who wanted to live and here I was letting you go and thinking of taking my life, a life which Chenle could have never had. What an insult it would have been to his death if his brother who wasn't forced to die took his own life after his baby brother fought so much to live? And you! How could I just sit by and watch you take your life" he yelled as tears threatened to fall.

"So I decided not to come today but I care too much to not show up. So the only thing I can do right now is hold onto your arm to make sure you won't jump while talking about anything and everything until you forget about wanting to jump. Just like Chenle did for me." Renjun said hurriedly and desperately, face turning red and fresh tears falling out of his shining, determined eyes and you felt your heart sink as realisation of how real this situation was. His goal was to talk to you until you forgot why you were here but you just couldn't.

"B-but" you started to reason and Renjun shook his head. "No I'm holding onto you" he said, red eyes shining with a passion to keep you alive and you almost felt touched. Almost. This was supposed to be your escape but now one small boy with the voice of an angle has got you questioning everything? His eyes pleaded with you and he rambled about something that fell deaf to your ears as you glanced at the waters. It looked too cold and suddenly death seemed a bit scarier than before.

You closed your eyes, taking in a deep breath and you let yourself die away in the darkness. As you pressed each emotion you felt way under an invisible weight of the darkness that comforted you, that excited you, that promised you eternal peace. Maybe the water was too cold but the darkness was pulling you in and all it would take was one little push to let it consume you.

But the darkness was snatched away from you as a sudden bright light blinded your vision, it was someone's torch from their phone but you couldn't see who was holding it and neither could Renjun as he squinted trying to not look directly into the light.

"Y/n?" A voice called out and your eyes widened, in recognition.

"D-Doyoung?"

"WHAT ARE YOU DOING!" he yelled pocketing his phone and running to you, yanking you off the railing and onto the pavement of the bridge.

"Are you mad? Why would you do that! What would I do if I lost you? How could you just think of leaving like that!" He yelled at you, tears shamelessly falling out of his eyes. You noticed he looked defeated but you didn't understand why.

"I-I’m sorry" you mumbled feeling obligated to apologise, looking away biting onto you lip hard, more embarrassed than scared that he caught you.

What you didn't know Doyoung’s mind was a whirlwind of regrets and flashbacks. Of hatred for himself for not noticing sooner for not coming to your aid sooner.

For how noisy his mind was to you it was silent. Too silent. He didn't say anything and now you were scared. Scared of what would happen, scared because no matter how much you tried to predict the outcome your mind remained blank.

"Ohhh what would I do if I lost you" he finally said breaking the silence and holding onto you so tight you were surprised none of your bones broke.

"I'm sorry." He broke into a sob, "I'm sorry I didn't notice sooner. I'm sorry I didn't take you away from there with me, I'm sorry I didn’t protect you at school. I'm so sorry I couldn't do more. But please don't do this y/n" he pleaded with a broken hopeless voice holding onto you tighter, "You're my baby sister and I won't be able to live with myself if I lost you" he sobbed into your hair holding you close to him and for the first time you felt fear, fear of what would happen if you left Doyoung behind.

"I should have protected you and should have just taken you with me not waited until I could prove to our parents I had money oh god" he continued to cry and it hurt your heart, how could you forget your brother's promise to take you away and protect you and how could you forget your promise to love with him. Live with him. You couldn't hold back either, clinging onto him for life as you cried. All the pain inside you finally breaking lose as you sobbed and sobbed in your brother's arms. And suddenly all the emotions that the darkness hid were out in the open and you felt every emotion all at once and it wasn't a burden like you expected but instead freeing.

The pain from the constant bullying, the neglect, having to deal with your parents fighting and then your brother moving out. You were alone and scared and all the emotions you bottled up came pouring out all at once. You felt faint and light headed but you couldn't stop crying your soul out.

You weren't brave but a coward just leaving without really putting up a fight. You felt yourself shift as Doyoung who had stopped crying slowly sat down with you still held tightly in his arms.

You sat on the cold road, head rested on your brother's chest as you listened to his heartbeat and he caressed you head as your sobs slowly died down. You were tired and might have fallen asleep there if it wasn't for your brother's cold voice startling you back into consciousness.

"Who are you?" your brother's asked tone so cold you would have been scared to be on the receiving end of it and that's when you realised- Renjun!

"Oh I'm her.... Friend?" Renjun questioned more than answered and you smiled at the flustered boy as your brother's eyes critically scanned him.

"He's Renjun" you said pulling away from your brother's embrace deciding to end the trembling boys suffering, "He was brave enough to not join me and even braver to stop me" you said smiling at the said brave boy (who was currently trembling under Doyoungs gaze). Doyoung gave Renjun a curt nod and got up to thank him.

You tried your best to hold in your laughter as you watched them awkwardly shake hands. It was definitely a start of a very awkward relationship.

...

You blinked your eyes open, your head was killing you and you felt like you woke up from a drug induced dream. Last night was all messed up for you and you weren't sure if it was real.

You lay there on your bed feeling drained to the core and empty inside. You felt awful. Like you shouldn't have woken up today morning, yet some part of you was secretly glad.

Your thoughts were interrupted by Doyoung who barged into you room and opened your curtains filling the room with bright light, you squinted, your eyes hurting at the sudden surplus of light but for the first time you were glad it was bright rather than dark as you saw your brother standing against the light, smiling at you.

"Get dressed Renjun should be here soon" he said and marched out of your room before you could react. You forced yourself to sit up, brain still not processing a word he had said.

It was a challenge getting ready, especially since all you wanted to do today was lay in bed but you got ready and walked to the kitchen where Doyoung placed a fresh plate of pancakes in front of you.

You smiled at him, sitting yourself down and digging into your breakfast when you stopped and realised how quite it was

"Ummm Doyoung where are..." You started to ask but Doyoung cut you off, "It's like you forgot last night." He scoffed but there was a very obvious smile on his face as if he was happy. You couldn't understand why he was so happy when all you felt was empty and awful after last night.

"They have gone for couples counselling but honestly I think it'll end in a divorce" Doyoung said it so casually that you sat there with your fork hovering in front of your mouth shocked. "Don’t be so surprised. I know it sucks but I'm old enough to take care of you and I'm taking you away with me this time. Let them sort out their own problems and don’t you dare blame yourself for their failed marriage okay." He said sternly walking towards you and feeding you the pancake himself since you just sat there frozen. "And I know they're kind of messed up but they do love us and they have taken care of us, maybe not emotionally but in...other ways" he said placing a hand on your head and you nodded, dumbfounded. You wanted to say something but didn't know what to say or ask so you just sat there watching him, confused. He smiled at that. Everything was happening so quickly it was still taking you time to process it especially after last nights... whirlwind of emotions.

"You can be mad at them y/n. You can be mad at me. You can be mad at whoever okay. Feel things again." He said placing a soft kiss on your forehead as he walked to answer the door.

When did the doorbell ring?

"Oh Renjun you're here!" You heard him happily exclaim and walk back into the kitchen, followed by a shy Renjun. You looked at Renjun confused but he only gave you a shy smile.

"What's going on?" You asked after you swallowed the food that was in your mouth.

"I'm taking you two for therapy" he said so casually as if he didn't forget to mention that to you and by the looks of it he forgot to tell Renjun too.

"But my parents..."

"Renjun I spoke to them and they agreed to it" Doyoung said interrupting Renjun who seemed to have trouble believing Doyoung as he looked at him accusingly.

"Okay I fought with them and they agreed. Plus they can't stop me all the way from China if you consent to this can they?" Doyoung asked with a smug grin and Renjun looked at him in disbelief.

"What why?" You asked still confused "when did all this happen?"

"I got it all arranged last night." Doyoung casually said again as if he didn't forget to tell the two of you all of this and turned to Renjun, "Would you like some pancakes too?"

Renjun flushed in embarrassment at Doyoungs gaze and you frowned.

"But why are you suddenly so invested in all this" you asked, your tone sounding colder than you intended it to be. You regretted your words when you saw hurt flash through Doyoung’s eyes for a second.

Doyoung’s gave you a wary smile before he spoke, "When I left three years ago I wasn't in a good place. But I met good people and I got help. The three years I avoided coming home was because I took that time to heal. And I feel selfish for leaving you but I hope you'll one day understand that I needed to be stronger to take care of you. So that's what I'm doing now."

"Why are you taking me too then?" Renjun asked, eyes downcast, looking disappointed. What you didn't know was that he was disappointed. Someone else was going to take the burden of taking care of him and he didn't like that. He didn't like being a burden. He burdened his parents so much that they left him and now the same thing was going to happen with the only nice people he knew. He was beyond disappointed.

"Because you need help. I have a friend in uni, his name is Lee Taeyong." A small smile made its way to Doyoung’s face, "He helped me out in ways no one else would. He took care of me and he made sure I was okay, he genuinely cared for me even though I wasn't very nice to him. At first I found him annoying but now he's one of the most important people in my life and I don't think I would ever be able to live without him, don't tell him that though. But the thing is he came to me and helped me I didn't go to him, so now I'm going to help you no matter how much you feel like you don't deserve it Renjun. No matter how annoying you think I am." Doyoung said, stubbornness shining in his eyes and Renjun stood there shocked and taken back.

"I also knew your brother" Doyoung said shocking Renjun for the second time in the past five minutes, "He was a child prodigy at SM University, musical talents unlike any other, he was so young and so week but so jovial. His parents loomed over him taking praises given to the kid as their own but that young boy couldn't care less about them. The only thing he would talk about was his brother waiting at home for him, his brother that took care of him, who played with him, who protected him from the monsters in the closet. He spoke about his brother that held his hand when his heart hurt. He spoke about how when he was sick the medicines could never put him to sleep the way his brothers voice would." Tears made their way to Renjuns eyes as memories of everything Doyoung had mentioned came flooding into his mind but he held them back, too stubborn to let them fall.

"Every time he came he would tell us about how handsome his brother was and how talented his brother was. He would brag about how he wanted to spend his whole life being this faceless boys little brother." Renjun sniffed, roughly wiping away his tears before they could leave his eyes as he looked at Doyoung who continued to speak. "I owe it to him, a small kid that really gave me a different view and perspective on life to take care of this amazing brother" Doyoung finished speaking and Renjun broke into a sob, turning away and hiding his face. You got up from where you were seated and walked to him, wrapping your arms around his shoulder from behind, hugging him. Your heart broke every time he shook because of a sob. And that's when you knew, you knew you didn't want to continue like this. This beautiful boy deserved a happy life and so did you. You may feel like shit right now but you were going to change that and you were going to help the blond headed boy who stopped you from taking your life genuinely smile too.

"It's going to be a long journey and I know the two of you feel like it would never get better but it will. And I'll be there for the both of you during that time" Doyoung said sincerely and you looked at Renjun who looked at you through teary but hopeful eyes. You brought your hand up to Renjuns face, wiping a tear away as you felt his fingers interlock with your free hand and smiled. He smiled back at you, eyes still shining with fresh tears and you looked at Doyoung who stood at the side with an unreadable expression (but you could make out the hint of pride on his face) and you gave him a single, sharp nod. "We're going to get better." You looked at Renjun, "We're going to move forward"

"We'll take baby steps"

This is the first time I've written something so heavy so feedback would really be appreciated.

Let me know about your thoughts on this story.

It took a long while to come to a final story line/plot and even longer for me to want to post this.

60 notes · View notes

hotchscvm · 3 years

Text

side to side

Warnings: swearing

Word count: 4.6k

Summary: In which you're performing your hit single in front of your fellow Avengers cast-mates and Chris can't seem to take his eyes off of you, catching the attention of a few cameras.

"I'm here with the biggest pop-star of this generation, and she plays the very talented daughter of Tony Stark," the interviewer announced your name, smiling brightly at you as the camera panned your way. The hundreds of thousands of fans at home screaming when your face appeared. "How do you feel with all your nominations tonight?"

You smiled at the camera, giving a small wave at the people watching at home. "Honestly, I'm just glad I was even considered for these nominations. I mean, my girls Taylor, and Billie...they're amazing and I'm so happy to be put in the same category as them."

The lady grinned at you, her eyes twinkling. Or maybe it was her sparkly dress, the fabric nearly blinding you with how it shined under the lights. "If you ask me, you've got a pretty good chance at winning. I mean, your hit single—Side to Side—surpassed, like, a billion views in just a month? That's impressive."

"Well, I couldn't have done it without my fans." you replied, winking at the camera.

It was that time of the year again, where every artist, actor, and YouTuber hit the stage for the People's Choice Awards. With your crazy schedule, and the lack of sleep, you had planned to skip the award show until your friend, and co-star, Chris Evans—Captain America himself—convinced you otherwise. Even with the categories you've been nominated for had been more than a handful, but it was the begging and constant complaining from Chris that made you get off your tired ass and put it into a tight dress.

Your hit single, Side to Side, had everyone anticipated for your performance, unsure if you would be performing until the producers had put your name into the advertisement, making fans blow up Twitter. You were sure they had advertised your own song, along with your movie nominations, more than you ever had.

With nominations of Movie of the Year (Avengers: Infinity War), Action Movie of the Year (Avengers: Infinity War), Female Movie Star of the Year (Amara Stark), Female Artist of the Year, Song of the Year (Side to Side), Music Video of the Year (Into You), Beauty Influencer of the Year, and Social Celebrity of the Year, you had your hands full, which had only made your manager glow with happiness.

"Of course!" the interviewer agreed, glancing at the teleprompter filled with tiny words. "It was rumored that you wouldn't be coming, and a lot of us were upset, including me. Was that just a rumor or..."

"Actually, it's not that far off. I'm fucking—oh, shit—oh no!" you gasped, covering your mouth before anymore foul words could come out on live television. Instead of correcting you, the lady laughed, patting your arm softly. "Can't say that on tv. My bad. I, uh, with everything going on, I've been really tired, and I haven't slept in a week. I just wanted to chill, and accept my nominations at home but someone convinced me to come. So, if I say or do anything ridiculous tonight, I'm blaming him and my lack of sleep."

She nodded, clapping slowly. "I think that's fair. Is that someone, your onscreen father, RDJ?"

"He was one of the many people who unsuccessfully changed my mind, but no, it was Chris Evans. He promised me a day with his adorable dog, Dodger, and I couldn't refuse." you said, grinning at how his face had changed from hopeless to cocky as soon as he brought up Dodger.

"If I'm remembering this correctly, Chris Evans is that very handsome man you had kissed in your music video earlier this year. Into You, right? How do you feel kissing one of your co-stars outside of the movies your working on?"

"Technically, it was still acting, and I have kissed him before, so it wasn't awkward at all." you answered, glad Chris had accepted the role. Not only had it sky-rocketed the views and streams, but it made you feel better that it was his lips you were kissing and not a random model's. Yet, it didn't feel as professional as it had before when you pulled away after a take.

In scenes where you had to kiss the Boston actor, it was as professional as kicking Anthony Mackie's ass in Civil War but the kisses you shared on the set of the music video was definitely more personal. At the time, you had brushed it off as Chris being recently single, but now that you had broken up with Henry, you started questioning it again.

The interviewer nodded, squinting once more to read the words off the teleprompter before asking you another question that would certainly make the headlines. "I've been reading up on all those juicy tabloids and I've got one question that would satisfy my curiosity. Was Into You written about Henry Cavill or Tom Ellis?"

Usually, that type of question made you change the subject or altogether avoid the matter but this time, you wanted to joke about your failed engagement. "Henry, but Side to Side was written about Tom since I wanted more Grammy's considering the last album I put out won me a few. But this time, I'm gonna do it without an engagement."

The woman faked a laugh, surprised by the blunt honesty of your answer. "Um, you certainly do have a thing for British men, eh? I don't want to keep you up, but one more thing, for the fans. They've been dying to know if there's anything going on between you and Chris Evans. Any tea you wanna spill?"

"There's none to spill. We're just friends but it's always amusing scrolling through Twitter to find these edits of us." you replied, fidgeting slightly with the hem of your dress. Like usual, you had wondered if you should've worn something less extra but you had let your stylist play dress up with you for the past few months.

"Of course. Well, good luck to you, and I can't wait to see your performance." she said, giving you a little pat on the shoulders before announcing your name once again.

You got off the little platform, immediately taking Chris' awaiting hand, holding onto it as you climbed down the steps in your dangerous stilettos. Sighing, you leaned on him, trying to avoid the blinding camera flashes. "That was more exhausting than I thought it would be. You need to get me some caffeine after this is over because there's no way I'm making it to the after show without at least a few cans of Red Bull."

"So dramatic." Chris grinned, childishly sticking his tongue out as he guided you down the red carpet, stopping when told to take a picture. He let go of your hand, only to wrap it around your waist as you posed for the pictures. "Are you going to the after party?"

Posing seriously for a few seconds, you let your smile back on your face, facing the man beside you. "I was thinking about it, take a few photos, and head back home. Aren't you?"

"Actually, I was thinking we could ditch it and just hang out. You know, I did promise you some time with Dodger and you could waste a couple hours sleeping." he replied, his hand tightening ever so slightly on your waist. Flashing you a shit-eating smirk, he nudged you a little, pulling you away from the blinding flashes. "What do you say?"

You opened your mouth to answer only to be cut off by your manager, Alexandre coming out of nowhere to rip you away from Chris' arms. The latin man sighed in annoyance, glancing at his watch while giving you the look you've seen too many times before. "You're supposed to be in wardrobe right now. Get your ass backstage, and change before you miss your own performance. As for you, Mr. Evans, Megan wants your ass in a chair."

"I'll see you after." you say, getting dragged by your manager, winking at the actor before walking towards the changing area, the cameras following you until they couldn't enter the area.

Getting ready before a huge performance always calmed you down, maybe it was the smell of makeup or the feel of designer clothing made especially for you, but something about it made you feel comfortable and cozy. It was like a routine, especially with all the music videos and movies you had to film, the makeup, the hair.

They made you sit back, giving you your phone like a child while they made you even more sparkly than before, making sure you'd stand out against the flashing lights during the performance. A performance you made sure no one would ever forget. Smiling, you let your thoughts drift back to a certain super soldier as you were pampered.

—

"Welcome to the People's Choice Awards!"

The room darkened, the blue and pinks lights focusing on the stage as cameras all turned towards your shadow. Making sure your mic was set properly, tried to see past the darkness, to see a familiar face or two but with the headache coming on from the tight half-ponytail didn't help your case. The music started, the beat vibrating, you flipped your hair, and started.

"I've been there all night

I've been there all day (Nicki Minaj)

And boy, got me walkin' side to side (Let then hoes know)"

You rode the bike, belting out in your microphone, the attached headset limiting your movements a little. Gripping the handles, you made eye contact at the camera to your left, winking at it as you pedaled.

"I'm talkin' to ya

See you standing over there with your body

Feeling like I wanna rock with your body

And we don't gotta think 'bout nothin'

I'm comin' at ya

'Cause I know you got a bad reputation

Doesn't matter, 'cause you give me temptation

And we don't gotta think 'bout nothin'"

As you had sung, your eyes had adjusted to the bright spotlight focused on you, seeing a shadow of the one person you wanted to make you walk side to side. While you had answered the reporter's question, you hadn't been completely honest. Some of the lyrics had been written for the Bostonian; or to be more exact, your sex fantasies. With the chorus coming up, you let go of the handles, trying not to fall on your ass as you clapped your hands above your head, the claps matching the beat.

"These friends keep talkin' way too much

Say I should give you up

Can't hear them, no, 'cause I..."

Trying to be bold, you stared at him, his face in particular. The spotlight had blinded you so much that you couldn't see what his reaction was—or anyone's for that matter—but maybe it was a good thing. After all, his gaze always made you blush no matter how hard you tried not to. Pedaling faster, you threw your head back, hoping the motion would draw everyone's—Chris'—eyes on your chest.

"I've been here all night

I've been here all day

And boy, got me walkin' side to side

I've been here all night

I've been here all day

And boy, got me walkin' side to side"

With the help of a shirtless dancer, you got off your bike, taking the sheer jacket from him, and putting it on as you walked towards the front of the stage, moving your hips in to the beat of the song. Resting a hand on a shirtless dancer, you positioned yourself so you were grinding your ass against his crotch, throwing back an arm around his neck.

"Been tryna hide it

Baby, what's it gonna hurt if they don't know?

Makin' everybody think that we solo

Just as long as you know you got me

And boy, I got ya

'Cause tonight I'm making deal with the devil

And I know it's gonna get me in trouble

Just as long as you know you got me"

Sashaying to the little balance beam at the front of the stage, you made sure your hips swayed more than usual.

"These friends keep talkin' way too much

Say I should give you up

Can't hear them, no, 'cause I...

"I've been here all night

I've been here all day

And boy, got me walkin' side to side

I've been here all night

I've been here all day

And boy, got me walkin' side to side"

A few seconds after your note ended, you strike a pose on the balance beam, posing for a few more seconds while the cameras turned their attention away from you and onto the queen of rap herself: Nicki Minaj. The leather, pink bodysuit was identical to yours except for the color, her attitude fitting the badass outfit. She began to walk towards the stage, never breaking eye contact with the camera in front of her while the men pretending to work out to the choreo.

"Uh, yeah

This the new style with the fresh type of flow

Wrist icicle, ride dick bicycle

Come through yo, get you this type of blow

If you want a ménage, I got a tricycle

All these bitches' flows is my mini-me

Body smoking, so they call me Young Nicki Chimney

Rappers in they feelings 'cause they feelin' me

Uh, I-I give zero fucks and I got zero chill in me

Kissing me, copped the blue box that say Tiffany

Curry with the shot, just tell 'em to call me Stephanie

Gun pop, then I make my gum pop

I'm the queen of rap"

By the time she had finished her verse, you had caught up with the multitasking of both working out and singing, able to use your full singing capabilities for your high note. Nicki joined you on stage, hyping up the crowd while you built up for the high note, almost every camera pointed at you except for the one focused on capturing the headline-worthy expression slapped on Chris' face.

"These friends keep talkin' way too much

Say I should give em up

Can't hear them, no, 'cause I...

"I've been here all night (Been here all night, baby)

I've been here all day (Been here all night, baby)

And boy, got me walkin' side to side (Side to side)

I've been here all night (Been here all night, baby)

I've been here all day (Been here all day, baby) (Ooh, baby)

And boy, got me walkin' side to side (Side to side)"

Both you and Nicki motioned for the dancers to come towards you, curling your index finger at the sexy men. Singing the refrain, you both made them drop to their knees in front of you, as if they were kneeling at your command.

Just as the last note was sung, everyone clapped, the majority standing up, and more cheered. You noticed Chris hadn't done either, still sitting in his motionless while two camera men pointed their cameras at him. Your eyebrows furrowed, thankfully after the spotlight had shifted over to the miniature stage where the two hosts were babbling about nominations.

You were ushered off the stage along with the queen of rap herself, taking a few backstage photos before quickly returning back to your dressing room to change into your tailored dress. Your mind had wandered to why Chris hadn't applauded—not that he was obliged too, but a little something would've nice, especially with all the days put into the performance.

Taking a deep breath, you entered the big room, filled with your co-stars and other A-list celebrities. Little did you know you'd find out the reason to your question in the morning.

—

The loud ringtone woke you up, the sound obnoxious and borderline abuse to your ears. Beside you, Chris groaned, rolling onto his stomach, trying to muffle the sound of the call with his arm draped over his head. Putting him out his misery, you lazily reached for your phone, pressing the green button with dread, seeing the name across the screen.

"Hello—"

"You're trending on Twitter." Alexandre announced, happy with the results of the previous awards show. While it wasn't something as big as a Grammy or Oscar, judging by the amount of awards you had taken home, you became the people's favorite. "Hold on, lemme rephrase that. You and Chris are trending. Number one, world wide."

Glancing at the man sleeping beside you, you sat up, confused by the information given to you. You blamed Chris for making you stay up so late for your confusion. "Um, why? Did I accidentally have another nip slip?"

"What the hell?" Chris mumbled, rolling onto his back, his arm grazing your bare stomach. He immediately took it back, sitting up to look over your puzzled face. "What's going on?"

You shrugged, putting your phone on speaker so Alexandre could explain. Your manager chuckled, knowing you had stayed the night with Chris. He was just waiting for the day you'd finally have the guts to speak about the growing sexual tension. "Okay, Alex, explain."

"As much as I would love to go into full detail, I have other stuff to do so, I'm going to give you the basics. Chris' reaction to your performance went viral, people are shipping the both of you, and there's been thousands of memes made." Alexandre replied, a smile evident in his voice. "Anyways, I have to go. Got some interviews to schedule. Have fun getting your way out of this, Chris."

Your phone screen went back to the home screen, a picture of your family dog, Buster, smiling widely. Looking at Chris, you saw his eyes widened, his hands coming to rest of his face in embarrassment as he fell back onto the bed with a bounce, his head nearly hitting the headboard. "Oh, fuck."

"Are you going to show me what your face looked like or do I have to scroll through Twitter until I find it? Oh! Maybe they edited it in my performance." you thought out load, tapping on the YouTube app. You hadn't trusted yourself enough to log into your official account, knowing you'd probably make a mistake so you opted for having a secondary account where you could watch cat videos without the anxiety of posting something stupid.

Chris' hand snatched your phone away, tucking it in his pocket, the sweats he had slept in was somehow wrinkled, and his shirt damp from the warmth. "You wanna get some food? I'll cook some bacon but you'll have to make the pancakes 'cause the last time—"

"I wanna see your reaction." you whined, reaching across his stomach for your phone. Chris turned his body away from you, shielding the phone from your reach. "Chris!"

He waved your attempt away, rolling off the bed, his feet hitting the floor before you could fall back on the mattress.You poured, getting on all fours, crawling towards the edge. Chris took a step back, brows furrowing. "It's not important. Let's get you some food."

"Fine." you mumbled, an idea making you light up. Rolling off the bed, you glanced at his phone on the nightstand, exposed and easy to take. With quick reflexes, you grabbed his phone, rolling back on the bed until you reached the other side, making it impossible for him to reach for his phone back.

"Hey!" the Bostonian shouted, launching himself on the bed in attempt to get his phone back. He made a noise as you rushed out of your room, locking yourself in the nearby bathroom, laughing evilly when he threw himself at the door. He yelled out your name, his fist banging on the door. "I'm serious! Don't!"

Ignoring his begging, you opened his phone with your thumbprint. How ironic how much he didn't want you to look at his phone when he was the one who insisted you have the password to it. His arguments became louder as you opened up his Twitter, immediately heading to the trending section, seeing both your names at the number one spot.

"Damn, I look hot." you joked out loud, making Chris silent for a second before pleading for you not to continue. You smirked, scrolling through the tweets, trying to find his reaction. "Jesus Christ, what the hell happened to you? Did you fall on your face or something?"

Chris groaned, banging his head on the door in defeat as he heard your almost inaudible gasp, that quickly turned into little giggles. If he wasn't so embarrassed, he would've broken the door down to hold you in his arms. "Oh, no."

Bursting out into hard laughter, you fell into the large bathtub, hitting your head on the wall but you couldn't care less. The expression on his face during your performance had been borderline comical, the wide eyes, the jaw hanging open, the open hand resting on his chin while his eyes stayed strained on you the whole time, never wavering from your body, the sexy choreography making his jeans tight.

Cackling like the Wicked Witch of the West, tears ran down your cheeks, your stomach cramping from the maniacal laughter. Lifting yourself up from the tub, you stumbled to the door, your loud laugh ringing out towards the whole house. You let Chris in the bathroom, his phone quickly taken from your hand but it was too late. The blush on his cheeks wasn't going away anytime soon. You leaned against him, your head resting on his chest, while you panted out a question. "Why did you look like you were trying to attract flies in your mouth?"

Chris groaned again, covering his eyes with a hand while the other rested on your back. "You're not going to let me live this down, are you?"

"Oh, God, no." you giggled, wiping the tears away, beginning to calm down. Glancing up at him, you noticed everything above the shoulders was gleaming red, the embarrassment too unbearable for him. "Chris, you looked exactly like the first time we were forced to share a bed together."

"Yeah, you have that affect on me."

"You gonna tell me why you looked so ... shocked? Or do I have to search through Twitter and go with whatever fan theory makes the most sense?" you asked, unable to keep the smug grin off your face. Chris closed his eyes, wishing he hadn't made you come to the awards show in the first place. You raised an eyebrow, fingers itching towards his phone. "You know I'll do it, Evans."

The man raised his hands, taking them off of you as he paced around the bathroom, deciding if this embarrassing moment was the right time to finally confess. "It's just, you know, the dance was so ... sexual and hot that I probably wasn't the only one looking at you like that. You can't exactly blame me for being shocked, watching the girl I'm in love with—"

Chris stopped as you be watched the colors drain out of your face, immediately freezing when he realized what he had said. Both of you stared at each other, eyes wide, not moving a muscle, barely blinking; the atmosphere so tense neither of you were breathing, waiting for the other to talk. But neither of you wanted to go first, terrified.

It wasn't until you started to feel dizzy that you realized you hadn't been breathing, letting out a huge breath, trying to relax while Chris did the same, his hands shaking, a nervous tick he got whenever he was anxious. You got the courage to speak first.

"What?"

It was better than nothing.

Chris was so nervous he nearly ran out of the room. There wasn't some kind of handbook or script he could read, helping him tell one of his best friends how head over heels he was for her. So, he said what his brain was stewing. "What?"

"What—what?" you replied, unsure if he even said the L word, so lightheaded by the sudden confession.

The actor stilled, eyes widening even further, while his eyebrows shot up his forehead. "What?"

"What?"

"Say what one more time, Evans, and I will make nothing but mac and cheese for the rest of your stay." you threatened softly, getting tired of not having an answer to your one-worded question.

Chris took a deep breath, hands trembling as he clasped them together, hoping to find the right words, hoping his inner thoughts would come out clear, giving you the answer you asked for. "I'm sorry. What do you want me to say?"

"What you were saying before. You know, before you looked like you saw a ghost and almost stopped breathing. I think that would be a good start." you replied, backing up to take a seat on the plush chair. Chris mirrored your actions, putting down the lid to the toilet before sitting down.

"This isn't the way I wanted you to find out." Chris whispered, his blue eyes trained on the emotions that flashed on your face. Your uncertainty of the situation didn't help his anxiety.

"Okay, um, were you going to tell me in the first place?" you asked, playing with the hem of your shirt—it had been a borrowed Patriots shirt from him. Looking back, you realized all the little things he'd done hadn't been because his platonic love for you. "Or were you just going to keep letting it be this way?"

Fidgeting with his hands, Chris peered through his eyelashes, seeing the hurt flash across your face before you quickly composed it. "Scott was hyping me up, trying to convince me to tell you before you got into another relationship. Do you know the real reason I broke up with Jenny? It hurt like hell when you announced you were engaged. Fuck, I couldn't even pretend to be happy because you were going to have the life I wanted with you, with someone who wasn't me. It was selfish and I got really mad at myself for being a dick."

"But—"

"And then the horrible, horrible relief I felt when you called off the engagement." Chris continued, his heart clenching. "Truth to be told, that was the day I found out I was in love with you, breaking things off with Jenny. Of course, I wanted to wait until you moved on, hoping to be the friend you went to but with my schedule, that was impossible. So, you seemed out comfort in Henry fucking Cavill."

"You're in love with me?" you whispered, hoping this wasn't some kind of cruel dream. If it was, you wouldn't mind staying.

The actor nodded, waiting for you to call him names and rush out. "Yes. You can leave or slap me or whatever you want to do but I love you."

You got up, running a hand through your hair. "Okay."

Chris' heart sank, wishing for any other kind of reaction, wishing you'd do something. Taking a deep breath, he got up. "Is this a goodbye?"

Frowning, you walked up to him, taking his face between with your hands, pressing your lips softly to his. You could feel his heart beat, the little organ beating so hard. You pulled away before he could recover from his shock, before he could kiss you back.

"Hello."

#chris evans #chris evans characters #chris evans x reader #chris evans smut #chris evans fanfiction #steve rogers #captain america #reader insert #marvel #chris evans x singer!reader #nicki minaj #ariana grande #fluff #side to side #song fic

580 notes · View notes

cryptiql · 3 years

Text

untitled god song

pairing: bakugou/m!reader (trans reader in mind you can see it if you squint but can also be read as cis)

words: 2k

warnings: themes of religious trauma, homophobia, mentions of blood, the author projecting their mommy issues

a/n: this is purely self indulgent, don't mind me 😩✋ (written in first person)

i wish i had known him before the pain started. perhaps it is a fools dream to think that his presence would have solved anything, and it is likely that he might blown me sky high at the time, if given the chance, but i often ponder his place in my narrative. he is nothing less than a king—nay, a god—and what else am i to be except his humble servant, adoring him in the only way i've been taught?

i would bruise my knees as i kneel for him, and should he turn me away, i shall be lost and without purpose. but he does not, and instead, he snorts out a laugh and pulls me to my feet, roughly squeezing my cheeks together with a shit-eating grin. he'll tell me a joke i've heard a thousand times, and yet i laugh with him anyways, the pads of my fingers idly tapping the pulse on his wrists.

"dumbass, at least take me out to dinner first."

i never thought i'd ache to hear such a demeaning nickname, but it's like birdsong to my ears, and i long for the myriad of butterflies it provokes.

i would heed his every word like a faithful disciple, and—if i knew he would not use this power for the wrong reasons—carry it out without question. he'll roll his eyes at the notion, far too prideful at the idea of being praised, and card hands through my hair, gripping softly. "right. and if i told you to go to bed before five in the morning, would you listen?"

my smiles are genuine, as they all are with him.

"no." i wish my mother had been more open-minded; more loving to those she claimed were goners. maybe then, i could still call her my mother, and not a snarled version of her first name steeped in vinegar. maybe she could have met him, and maybe she would have keeled over in the process, but that is how we put it "killing two birds with one stone".

he was a fallen angel if ever i saw one—emblazoned in smog and ravenous inferno, the pieces of child-like innocence turning to ash. something happened to him when he was a kid, just as all gifted children, and oh, what a fool i was to let my gaze dawdle on his gorgeous form. but i will never regret it—no, not ever—for there is no such feeling that can compare to his eyes on mine, burning with a mind-fogging intensity.

it was instantaneous, the moment my thoughts turned on me with malicious intent, her voice ringing out like a gunshot.

you'll never be him.

his hand slots with mine perfectly; deliciously warm and comforting in a way i haven't felt in years; and hauls me up, the flecks of dirt and rubble from the road clinging to my jeans.

"watch it, pretty boy. i won't always be here to save you, y'know."

my heart batters against my ribs like a caged bird, screeching and wailing to be set free, and i wonder in a haze if i've died. judgement day must have come early, i think, not realizing that it was spoken aloud until the blonde quirks a brow inquisitively. he does not speak on the matter, but continues on his merry way, leaving my helpless; hopelessly enamored; and praying that we will meet again.

no, i could never be him. but i am like him. he has a sureness in his walk and fervor in the way he talks that is only recognizable when i look in the mirror. and we do meet again. it is a shame, however, that i must burden him with the weight of my past. i remember too often the troubles of my youth, even when all has passed into fleeting memories that haunt me as ghosts do to an abandoned house. yet, i still live in this house, and the ghosts are here to keep me company.

i remember the church, first and foremost; nestled between the barren country road and the outback; a beacon of hope to all those who stood in its doors. the luster of freshly polished wood still sits in my mind, accompanied by the echoing remnants of dulcet tones and multicolored bands of light, glaring from the stained glass windows and dancing across the musty carpet floor. the doddering pews were just as uncomfortable as the poorly padded chairs squatting in the front row, but every sunday, they were filled to the brim with hungry worshippers. they sang praise as though they were starved, but i was too young to understand for what. i am older now, and i still don't understand. all i know is that despite its reputation, the church was a cursed place, and i should never set foot in it again lest i go mad. i remember the creaking stairs which lead downstairs, and the winding halls that reeked of torment where shadows loomed. the paint was corroding and foul, and my conscious always loitered too long on the merlot stain on the ceiling; its origin unknown, but nevertheless urging my stomach to twist with nausea.

i remember the feeling of tall grass grazing my ankles; itching horribly from the old moth-eaten socks i was forced to wear. it had become second nature—running and hiding from my problems, from the church, from her. i shall never know a greater animosity than the likes that my mother encouraged, although unintentionally, with her pressuring views and sickeningly sweet smile. it's fake, and i would know, because ours are the same.

we are too similar, and i am sickened by the fact. will i become the wretched woman she is? will i fail to be the father i've dreamt of being? it is an easy thing to fall prey to haunting questions, and it serves as brain rot for every moment of silence that leaves me clawing at my skin, trying to reap the memory of her touch. then i began to think—about nothing and everything—and it does not stop. i will be kind; unforgivingly so, and without biased judgement; like my mother never was, and i'll make her hate me for it. i will grow in leaps and bounds, not for her sake or for god's, but for mine, as it always should have been. i will drink and curse with reckless abandon and kiss who i damn well please, because in no life does she have have the power to make me something i'm not. why should i feel sorry when the tears she wept were forged by my own blood; by the childhood memories locked away to rot in my subconscious? yes, she has suffered too, but it is through clenched teeth and raw-bitten lips that i must confess this, for her suffering was born in me and grew from a seedling into a thorned flower, nourished by her hatred and mine. she'll tell me the lie of all mothers before her: that she knows best, and i'll never know joy that is not from my savior's gracious hands.

one day, when she lies not with words but in silence, under worm-filled earth and withering pastures, i'll tell her that she was right. i'll tell her, with his hand in mine, that my savior arrived with hellfire in his eyes and fury unrelenting. his tongue holds venom that would make the devil blush, but he tastes of a sinful sweetness that i've drowned in more times than i care to count.

mother you should know, my god is like no other. he has a broad chest and muscles, i attest, that are sculpted like fine marble and smooth to the test.

my god is a man who loves other men, unashamedly; in all that is true; and kisses me like real people do. and i know it sounds silly, and a bit cliché, and he'd surely make a mockery of me if ever he heard, but i love him. i love him as passionately as you she does lord above, and it is a crime in itself how much i crave him, so yes, i will burn for this—not because my mother said so or by the ancient script that foretells it, but because i promise it. i promise to let neither hell or high water deter me from that which gives me life, and i'll do so with a ring.

"you hear that mom?" i'll whisper in the dead of night, his body flushed against mine in the most delightful way; his fingers curled into my nightshirt, pulling me closer as listless mumbles fall from his parted lips. he is dead to the world amid his dream ridden stupor, but still leans into my touch when i smooth back the wild tufts of hair to kiss his forehead.

"i'm gonna marry him." part of me wishes she didn't live on the other side of the planet, just so i could rub it in her face, but i won't give her the satisfaction of seeing me again. i won't let her think she's won, because i know, and katsuki knows, that he and i are one in the same.

i do not know who i should thank for my stubbornness, be it my mother or my father, so i will thank the pain they both caused me, for it made me stronger than they ever could. no, i did not become a better person, because the scars have yet to heal from how deep they cut, and the smell of blood still lingers, and i am angrier than i once was, but i cherish my wounds. the stench of my agony has long since been subdued, and i have learned to swallow the sickness it evokes. and yes, this anger is unhealthy and i've chosen not to purge it from my mind like the weed it is, but how lucky am i to have found one whose malice rivals my own?

the tales of his glory have littered my notebooks in smudged ink. you would hate him, is scrawled messily on the last page, but i only feel giddy with excitement. you would hate him for his spite and his unapologetic behavior, and that is why he's perfect. he's everything you hate about this world, but everything i love.

so when she gets to heaven and asks the angels "why?", they'll tell her it was him who made the devil cry. him, who held me like she should have—could have, if she hadn't terrified me—and who chased the nightmarish visions of her from my weary mind with his callous palms and soft-spoken reassurances. i wish i had known him when we were young; when things were not so simple and i needed a hand to hold; but i suppose we'll have to settle for faded photographs and stories told through the bitter aroma of alcohol. that's more than enough, i muse to myself, legs hooked over his as i rest my head on his shoulder, keening softly at the gentle scrape of his nails on my scalp. his arms wind around my waist as he mutters something along the lines of "i love you", his lips curling into a smile, illuminated by the televisions glow.

so when they ask of my religion, i will think of only him. i will recall the way he looks at me, the sound of my name on his tongue, the feeling of his lips trailing between the valley of my breast; featherlight, cautious and unfitting for a man of his nature. i've written songs of praise, all dedicated to him, and if only he knew, oh how smug he would be. but i love him, i love him, i love him. and when he spins me around like a marionette, it is with overwhelming pride and joy that i tell him this, and with rose hued cheeks and bashful grumbles, he tells me the same. so mother, wherever you are, i hope you know i've found my god.

#💥.katsuki #bakugou x trans reader #bakugou x trans male reader #bakugou x male reader #katsuki bakugou x male reader #male reader insert #mha x male reader #boku no hero x reader #bakugou x you #trans reader

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imagines-by-a-typical-fangirl · 3 years

Text

The Perfect Bad Boy (Pt. 14 of 18)

Pairing: Billy Hargrove X Reader

Word count: 3 K

Summary: Working as a lifeguard in the Hawkins Community Pool, you try to fit in after moving from New York. Things were going pretty well when you notice you've been under someone's stare. Billy Hargrove, Hawkins' bad boy, has been staring at you since day one. You never intended to have anything to do with him, judging by the reputation he has. But Billy won't leave you alone, determined to show you his feelings are different this time...

As if your heart flooding you with confusing feelings wasn't enough, there are weird, strange animals lurking in the woods... But those have to be just part of the wild live of the woods surrounding Hawkins... Right?

<- Previous part (13)

Next part (15) ->

{Stranger Things Masterlist}

Hunt and Destroy

“Alright... A lot of new words and names...” You mutter, looking at the floor between your feet. It's late now, and Eleven has been talking for over an hour. The story is long and you had to stop her to ask a few questions. More than a few, actually. Everything sounds like a very strange story, the weirdest, something nobody could come up with. To prove it, Eleven turned the TV on with her mind, skipping through the channels before turning it off again. But you didn't need any proof. You know what you saw and it was very, very real. “Upside down, Demodog, Demodorden...”

“Demogorgon. With a G.” Dustin corrects you, smiling. How can he be smiling?

“Demogorgon, ok.” Nodding, you take a deep breath and stand up. “So... What's the plan?” You ask, pacing around the living room.

“Well, we need to gather the whole party for this,” Max says and the others nod.

“I'll talk to my mom and Hopper,” Jonathan speaks out. “We have to do this as soon as possible so... tomorrow.”

“Yeah. Can it be here?” You're not sure if you can make this demand, but right now, being anywhere else after dark is too much. The sunlight is your protection since it's deadly to the... Demo-something. It burns them. They like it cold, said Eleven.

“Sure.” Jonathan answers and you offer him a small smile in return. “Could it be by five? Before the sunset.”

“Yeah. We can sneak out of the pool again.” It shouldn't be a problem, and if Anthony is there, you could pretend to be sick.

“Tomorrow is our day off.” Billy reminds and you take a deep breath, running a hand through your hair. You completely forgot that.

“By the morning them. Maybe we'll get something figured out we can start working on through the rest of the day.” Mike suggests and the whole party agrees. “We should get going though. It's late.” Mike gets up from his spot on the floor.

“Wait.” Mike can't possibly be for real now. “You're not gonna head home now. With those things out there.” They're getting closer to the town, and it means they'll hang around all night. “It's dangerous. You should stay.”

Most of them agree easily, chattering among them. Max seems excited, but Mike exchanges a look with Nancy. “I don't think our mother would let us crash at Billy's place.” She says with an apologetic look.

“Oh.” You know why. Billy told you where he was going to when the Mind Flayer almost got him... Or better saying, who he was going to meet. Mrs. Wheeler. You did felt weird back then, and it sure makes you feel weird now, but whatever he did before, you left it where it belongs. In the past. “Just call and tell her you'll be crashing at my place.”

“Yeah, man. C'mon. Slumber party.” Dustin cheers, smiling, and once again you can't understand why they aren't terrified. Guess they're just used to it. But how can someone get used to monsters lurking around?

“Alright, then.” Mike agrees, making his way to the phone.

“They didn't get it yet,” Billy whispers in your ear.

“They didn't get it.” Repeating, you wrap your arms around his neck. “I'm really trying not to freak out right now.” The words come out of your mouth, rolling out your tongue.

“Let's go to the bedroom so you can rest and we can talk.”

“Ok...”

“Alright. It's done.” Mike comes back with his sister, gesturing at the front door. “Should we get going?”

You and Billy exchange a look. They really didn't get it. “Uhm... So that's it, guys.” You start, taking Billy's hand and pulling him with you. “You can crash either here or Max's room. First to wake up makes breakfast.”

“Wait. You made me lie to my mom?” Mike asks as you move further into the hall.

“(Y/N) is living here.” Max ends the mystery, and you can feel her massive eye roll.

“Holy shit.” You hear Dustin and Steve mumbling as you get inside the room.

Billy lets you shower first, and as you wait for him, you look through his college books. Everything seems very complicated. Your fingers run through one of the pages, taking in the many numbers, but not really reading anything. Your mind is too far away right now. The scene keeps playing back, over and over. The... Demodog, as the kids call it, its face opening up, the guttural noises it made. You wish it was just a nightmare, but everything seems very, very real.

Billy's sudden touch makes you suck in a sharp breath, shaking a little. “Sorry. Didn't mean to scare you.” The feeling is quickly replaced by the usual warmth he makes you feel. Safety and comfort.

“It's ok, I'm just... How is it possible that the kids seem to be so fine with it?” Turning around, you lay your head on his chest as he pulls you close.

“They've been through a lot. They know how to deal with it and you don't have to participate if you don't want to.” Billy touches your face, fingers caressing the soft skin of your jaw. “I'll do anything to keep you safe, you know that right?”

You do. But staying out would not only make you a coward, but it would mean one less person to help them do whatever they're planning to. And, whatever this thing is, it had a part in messing with Billy's life. With Max's life, and all her friends. It's kind of personal. And, if Billy is in danger, you want to be there to make sure you'll do anything to save him. “I want to do it. I just need time to... Process everything.”

“You won't be alone. And I'm not talking only for myself, but for everyone else too.”

“Ok.”

“Now come. You need to get some sleep.” Billy pulls you to the bed, and, instead of laying beside him as usual, you decide to crawl on top of him.

“Am I crushing you?” You ask as you lay your head on his chest, smiling to feel his strong arms around you.

“Haven't you noticed the weight I can lift? You're nothing compared to it.”

Closing your eyes, you feel as he places a kiss on the top of your head. You've never been like that with Billy, literally on top of him, and it's good. Today, more than ever, you need to feel safe. Protected. And he's the only one who makes you feel this way. “I'm so happy we don't have to go to work tomorrow.”

“Me too.”

Pulling yourself up, you move upwards until your face is close to his. “Do you think the kids are talking about us?” Despite your mind being apparently stuck reminiscing the same moment, the terror in your chest, you try to change the subject. Hopefully, it'll keep you from having nightmares tonight.

“I'm sure of it.” As he speaks, a noise of glass shattering reaches us. “Max!” Billy yells at the top of his lungs, startling you. “What the hell!”

“Stop yelling.” You giggle, playfully slapping his shoulder.

“Just a glass, Billy,” Maxine answers from somewhere in the house.

“Better clean this shit up!” He shouts again.

“Shut up!” You whine, lowering yourself on him a little. “Or else I'll have to make you and it won't be nice.”

Billy raises an eyebrow, that usual smirk making its way to his lips. “Oh, and how exactly wouldn't it be nice?”

Yeah, you didn't really give much thought before making the threat. “Okay then.” Smirking, you close the distance between you until your lips are brushing on his before you sit up abruptly, a hand covering his mouth. “See? I told you it wouldn't be nice.” He opens his mouth under your hand, and you feel his teeth biting your skin. “Billy!” You complain, taking your hand away from his mouth. “I can't believe you bit me, you jerk.”

“You got what you deserved.” He suddenly pulls you down, making you lay next to him. “Now, quit playing around and sleep, princess. Tomorrow will be a long day.”

“Kiss me goodnight then. To keep the bad dreams away.” You ask him softly, melting into the slow, warm kiss he gives you.

It doesn't help with the nightmares though. Twice that night you wake up, a breath caught in your throat. You struggle not to let Billy notice, snuggling closer to him.

You're more than happy when morning finally comes. The house is so damn loud, and breakfast in a mess. You like it though, the craziness distracting you from yesterday's events. The rest of the party is here by nine, thanks to the urgency of the matter. And then, after everyone is fed up and the dishes are clean, which took half an hour since nobody wanted to do it, everyone sits in the living room to talk.

And you just can't seem to keep up with it. The boys speak fast, Hopper yells, Joyce tries to calm him down, he argues with Eleven, which is like his daughter, you got that, and then he argues with Mike. Nancy and Jonathan always check with each other before saying something, Steve always finds the flaws on the kids' plans, pointing out the many ways it could go wrong, and Dustin often gets into some kind of argument with him. There are a hundred different ways things could go wrong. A thousand ways you could die. Running a hand through your hair, you hold onto Billy's biceps, laying your head on his shoulder. You're the only one who didn't say anything since the conversation started. There's just nothing you can help them with, you'll just stick up to whatever plan they have.

What they know for sure that these Demodogs are here because some of them must have been left behind in some kind of incubation period until it started growing again.

“So that's it. Hunt and destroy.” Lucas says, nodding to himself.

“Yes. We don't know exactly how much time we have until they start going full Demogorgon, so we should start acting now.” Mike states. “Immediately.”

As if something was lit up, everyone starts moving. “My place in one hour, everyone,” Hopper says and suddenly the crowd disperses, the house once again silent.

You're still in the same place you were, on the couch, legs crossed, eyes on the floor. “Hey. You ok?”

“Yeah.” Taking a deep breath, you stand up. “So. Hopper's place. One hour.” Saying this more to yourself than to him, you get up and pace around the living room. “Should we take the baseball bat?”

“Steve has one far more fun than that. You'll like it.” You can tell Billy is keeping his voice nice and soft, trying not to push you over the edge with everything that's going on. “(Y/N), you don't have to go. You know that, right?”

“I do. But I'm going anyway.” Walking over him, you tiptoe to place a kiss on his lips. “Those kids are so brave. I don't want them to think I'm the weak link.”

“Alright, but we stick together. No exceptions.”

“I agree.” It does make you feel a lot better.

In the next hour, you and Billy shower and get ready. You make sure to wear short jeans and a light shirt so you won't feel too hot. The plan is trying to find the Demodog's nest. This part has to be made during the daylight, to make sure no attacks will happen, so you have no choice but to walk around the woods under the sun. Billy makes sure to shove a lot of water on his backpack, using literally every bottle he found in the house. And Max gathers some snacks for the day.

You reach Hopper's place at the same time Nancy, Jonathan, and Mike does, realizing it's also Joyce's place. The party is gathered in front of the house, a big map of Hawking on the ground. Beside it, a pile of some random stuff that you guess will be the... Weapons you'll use. Just in case.

Hopper is the one to assign everyone a place to start, the area they'll have to cover, and where they'll have to stop. There are lines drawn over the map, and you hope Billy has everything memorized because you don't even know where is where. Then, the groups are separated. Billy of course says he'll take you and Max. And Lucas, much to his dismay, will come along too. When people start taking stuff from the pile, you immediately get what Billy mentioned earlier. There's a baseball bat with nails on the top. Smiling, you take it.

“That's so badass.” You mutter, looking at Billy. “This will be my weapon of choice.”

“Hey. That's mine.” Steve exclaims, reaching out his hand.

“Not anymore, buddy.” You sass at him, swinging the bar and hitting the air.

“But–”

“She's good with the bat, trust me,” Maxine says and you nod. Some people have an interrogation on their faces, and Steve keeps staring at the three of you, as if waiting for further explanation.

“We have an inside joke.” Lowering the bat, you turn to look at Billy.

“Restricted to the Hargrove family,” Billy states, taking one the radios from the pile and starting the make his way to the car. “And Max.”

“But what about me?” You feel a little set aside by his affirmation, wondering what he meant. It's impossible that he's ignoring the fact that you were there that day. “I'm in the joke too.” Whining a little on purpose, you follow him.

“You still only notice half of things.” Billy winks at you as he gets inside the car, and after Max and Lucas get in the back seat, you get in as well. “I know you know what I meant.”

“Maybe I didn't.” Billy has this way with you. You were expecting the first sensations to fade, but they didn't. He still makes you nervous, the butterflies on your stomach doesn't seem to grow immune to him. And part of you is still scared of the things you think he means. You did got what he said, but it's safer to just pretend you didn't, right?

The short drive is filled with chattering. The kind of chattering you didn't want to hear since it's all about the Demothings. You stop by the woods, and Max and Lucas will be the ones responsible for the map since they have a compass.

And so the ‘hunting’ starts. You're glad it's not a real hunt though. You remember when you invited Billy for a trail with your friends, but walking through the woods feels different now. Before, you had only the normal wild animals to worry about, not some monsters that came out of the gates of hell. But you try to keep in mind that the sunlight means protection, so you'll safe. For now.

“Billy, can you make sure we'll have enough daylight to make the way back to the car?” You ask him, putting your hair up on a ponytail.

“I will, don't worry.” He moves closer, taking your hand in his. “We'll be ok. Just focus on trying to find anything unusual in the woods.”

“Sure.”

Billy doesn't let go of your hand until you stop to eat something. Lucas and Max start arguing a lot when you resume your walking, complaining about the directions. Billy is clearly pissed, not very fond of the idea of his little sister dating. It's cute the way he keeps staring at the young couple, paying attention to whatever they're saying. You wonder if Billy ever thought about having kids.

Wait. What the hell? Step back, you tell yourself. Too soon for that.

At some point, a fresh breeze starts blowing, and you couldn't be more thankful for it. Letting your hair down, you run a hand through it out of nervousness.

“I'm telling you, we have to go West now,” Lucas says.

“Yes. First West then North.” Maxine takes the map from his hands, taking a look at it. “It's obvious if you think about it. Just look. Try using your head for a moment.”

“Are you calling me dumb?”

“Yes!”

“Alright, both of you.” Billy intervenes, his voice with a tiny hint of anger. “Will you two make a goddman decision or will I have to?”

This will be interesting. Billy and you have been walking a couple of feet behind them, so as he moves ahead, you stand there, crossing your arms. The breeze brings a soft sound, that looks like the sound the pools make when it's windy. Following it, you spot water, only about ten feet away. Leaving the guys behind to their fights, you make your way there, making sure there are no big trees hiding you from their sight. When you get there, you bend down, putting one hand on the freshwater.

“(Y/N)!” It's Billy's usual yell, the one he always uses to scare the shit out of you. “Do you want to give me a heart attack?” When you turn around to look at him, he's already close by, Maxine and Lucas coming right after.

“Sorry, but I found this lake.”

“Lover's lake,” Max says, sitting down on a rock, eyes on the map.

“Lover's lake?” You repeat, crossing your arms and looking at Billy. “Why haven't you ever brought me here?” By the name, you think it would be a nice romantic date. And you remember by what you saw on the map, the lake is shaped like a heart, the reason for the name.

“Oh, you're new here. Sometimes it slips my mind.” He puts he bag down, safely away from where the small ripples reach. “People usually come here to... You know. So I thought that if I brought you and then you found out what really happens here you'd come to the wrong conclusion about my feelings for you.”

That's a very good explanation. And it makes you feel... Special. Different. “Thank you, then. For... Having this in mind.” As you speak, you take off your white shoes, all dusted by now.

“What are you doing?” He asks, an eyebrow raised when you look up at him, using his arm for balance to take off the other shoe.

“I'm using the Lover's Lake to something else than making out.” You start walking backwards, into the water.

“Whoa, look at what (Y/N)'s doing,” Lucas says, and you give them a glance. Max giggles, putting the map down.

“Try to drown Billy, would you?”

“I'll do my best.” When you stare back at Billy, he's already in the water.

You move back until your feet stop touching the bottom, so you start swimming further away. The freshwater is a blessing, washing the hot day from your skin. For a moment, you decide to leave the worries behind, just for a couple of minutes. Billy is quick to reach you, and you're suddenly aware of the kids staring. “We have an audience, keep that in mind.” You tell him when he pulls you close, strong arms encircling your waist.

“Were you ever kissed underwater?”

“No.” Your smirk matches his as you take a deep breath and push yourself down.

The kiss is a mess. You have to focus on holding your breath through the process, what makes you laugh, throwing bubbles on Billy's face. You manage to reach the bottom, your back hitting the rocks as Billy floats on top of you. But eventually, the oxygen you were saving is over, so you push him away and swim back up, laughing when you reach the surface.

“What a chaos.” You burst out when he comes back up as well. “We suck at underwater kisses.”

“I think I swallowed some water,” Billy says, coughing a little.

It only makes you laugh harder, removing the hair glued to your face. Swimming closer to him, you wrap your arms around his neck.

“Hey! Mr. and Mrs. Hargrove! Let's get moving!” Lucas shouts, making you roll your eyes.

You burst into laugh again when Billy flings you over his back, carrying you back to land.

And the walking restarts, with Max and Lucas constantly arguing and Billy trying to make them stop. The good thing is that it distracts you. And the bad part is that it distracts you from searching around for any signs of a Demothing nest. Your eyes scan through the woods, among the trees, looking for–.

“Holy shit!” Lucas exclaims and then he jolts away, running, followed by Max. You and Billy exchange a look before rushing after them.

Before you can ask what was that, you see it. A huge hole on the solid ground. It would fit a car in it. The thing goes down, in a slope, and then it keeps going until it makes a turn left. It's clear it doesn't belong to any kind of wild animal. It's not natural. A low, guttural low snarl reaches your ears, and you involuntary gives step back.

“Call them. Them then we found it.” Lucas says, taking a pencil and making a mark on the map.

The moment Max takes the small radio, you hear static. “Everyone listen up.” Steve says, more voices talking behind him. “We found it. A freaking hole in the ground. It has to be–”

“That's it.” Eleven's voice cuts him off. “We found it too.”

It was supposed to be just one.

“What?” Steve asks.

“Head back now. Everyone.” Hopper says and Max turns the radio off.

This is far worse than you thought.

@chloe-skywalker @dpaccione @dreamin-of-dacre @funeral-7 @uncookspaget @youhavemyfantasticbeasts @halloweenbitch2764 @redlovett @multific @shinydixon @nikkixostan @clockworkballerina @nope-thanks

#imagine billy hargrove #billy hargove x reader #billy hargrove fanfiction #billy hargrove x y/n #billy hargrove imagine #billy stranger things #stranger things imagine #imagine stranger things #stranger things fanfiction #dacre montgomery x reader #dacre montgomery imagine

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honeylemon8 · 3 years

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ranking popular booktok books

Everybody's probably heard of Tiktok. And for that, I will always be incredibly sorry. The sad truth is, and I know that is hard to hear, is that I'm an avid Tiktok user. There goes my individuality complex.

In this strange mysterious land of Tiktok, there is a variety of odd content- from snakes to people who forget we're not in 2017 with 'epic fails' compilations. But in the midst of all the chaos, there is the most gruesome, cruel community of all, filled with overhypes and low standards. The dreaded booktok.

lol I'm kidding. My 4u page is exclusively cats and books, so if I sound mean or something know that I'm being sarcastic and that I love book content on Tiktok with all my heart. Except when they talk shit about my favorite books. Can you tell I don't have friends already?

Anyway, after 3 paragraphs, I'm finally getting to the point. which books am I rating you ask? You and me both. Because I'm very professional and obviously planned ahead, I'm going to go on Tiktok and rate the first 3 books that I see (and obviously read, though judging books by their covers is very fun indeed) in the hashtag. Hope you don't want to commit suicide by the end of this post:)

1. Ugly Love- Colleen Hoover

honestly, I would love to start off with a negative review, because ranting on the internet is the only thing that gives me the will to live (shoutout to Goodreads). Unfortunately, @bookrecoms on Tiktok has taste. What a shame. But I must admit I cruelly deceived y'all. They actually recommended It Ends With Us, but because I haven't read it and I knew this book was going to come up(like Miles did inside of Tate)(i need a therapist) eventually, so I'm just getting it over with.

I actually really like this book! I know, surprising considering I hate everything, but this book inspired me to turn off the black hole of hate that is my heart for approximately 4-ish hours. My favorite part in the book is that Miles calls Tate Rachel at one point, which I found both traumatic and hilarious. But hey, at least it wasn't at a wedding!

over all: 4/5

2. We Were Liars- E. Lockhart

I cannot describe the amount of hatred I have for this book. I swear to god it's almost worst than a Thousand Boy Kisses. The ending is the stupidest thing I've ever read in my entire life, and I've read twilight multiple times. Nothing can compare to the amount of anger that I had while reading this. so much wasted potential, and for what? For what? Never read this book. Ever.

I'm so dramatic holy shit, I'm kidding the book itself is fine I guess, the ending was just so annoying. 3/5

3. The Deal- Elle Kennedy

putting the pg cover for y'all xx

I love this book. you know, sometimes I think about life before I read the deal, and I can't remember anything but pain. Darkness. Suffering. Until I read this book, in a world without Garret Graham, in a world where I haven't embarked on the epic adventure that is this book, my mind only consisted of Percabeth and sushi. Then I read this literary masterpiece. How did Elle Kennedy did not win a noble prize yet? This book can stop wars, global warming, and the conflict in the middle east. I encourage y'all to send a prayer to Elle Kennedy before you go to bed and charge all your rose quartz in the moonlight. Amen.

5/5

#book recs #books #ugly love #off campus #we were liars #elle kennedy #colleen hoover #e lockhart #garret graham #booksarelife #a cry for help #rant blog #rant post #rose quartz #percabeth

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knockknockchicagopd · 3 years

Text

A SERIE WITH HANK VOIGHT. CHAPTER II.

❚❙ WORDS: about 1.1k

❚❙ A/N: this writing hasn’t been edited, you may find some grammar mistakes, I’m sorry about that. If you find a description about body or a word out of place or something that makes you feel uncomfortable / unrepresented, let me know by a private message and I will change it delighted.

❚❙ GIF credits: to my amazing @sonsofeorl .

❚❙ Tag list: @melblacc @rebelwrites @skyofficialxx @sesamepancakes @scarletsoldierrr @mondefantastique @that-chick212 @enbyamaro @inlovewith3 @ocetevasgirl @sophie-writes @destynelseclipsa @jadakiss13 @mcgreads @graniairish @bethii1. If you want to be added to my tag list, send me a message.

Finishing your day at Molly's is starting to become a habit, sharing some beers with your friends from the police and fire departments, talking about random moments that happened through your shifts working. Much to your regret, you haven't attended to the cop you helped yesterday, being Will the one who has taken care of the revision. And you're not going to lie saying that you haven't been a thousand times about to ask him if that man has commented anything about you, but maybe it would be a blunder. You don't know his name, nor which is his District, and even if you are Antonio's friend, you're not sure if it's a good idea.

The curiosity is killing you, drinking the second shot of tequila of your night, while pretending you are paying attention to the talk between Casey, Severide, Brett, and Cruz, just nodding and smiling once in a while. When the first yawn opens your mouth, you know you have found the perfect excuse to leave. Maybe you could come back to the hospital and try to figure out something about the mysterious man, who sent you flowers. No one does that only because they're thankful for doing your job, and the idea that he knew where you live has been dancing in your head since then.

“Gotta go, guys. I'm shattered”. You hum then, taking the last sip from your beer after leaning close to Matt and place a kiss on his cheek.

“You sure?” He asks frowning, showing you he's not very convinced.

“Yep, no worries. I will walk back home, it's just five minutes”.

“Alright… Hit me up when you arrive”.

“I will”. You reply with a soft grin on your lips, while high-fiving your friends.

Wearing your jacket and grabbing your bag, you wave a hand before leaving the bar a couple of seconds after. The cold of Chicago's nights wraps you as soon as you step outside, putting on the long scarf around your neck and covering slightly your mouth, taking the next corner at the right towards the main avenue. As always, your gaze gets lost traveling all-around your view field, studying every window from every building you walk by; being a good distraction to not think about how far is it to your house.

A notification dinging your phone pushes you back to reality, stopping your legs and grabbing it from a pocket of your jacket. A message from an unknown number. Inevitably, a huge smile curves up your mouth as you unlock it. Biting the center of your bottom lip, while reading the ‘it's too cold to walk’, you can't help but turn around over your feet to focus your eyes over a black Escalade parking on your side of the street. The window downs, revealing your almost secret admirer smirking charmingly at you.

“Need an uber, sweetheart?”

Keeping your phone back in the pocket and taking some steps closer to the car, you shake your head giggling. You weren't expecting it, but it's a nice surprise.

“I don't do bad boys”.

“Huh… And what about…?” You can watch him grabbing something from the belt of his jeans. A Chicago police badge.

“Am I under arrest?”

“If you don't let me drive you home, I will handcuff you delighted”.

“Bet you'd enjoy pretty much…” Squinting at him, you obey at the signal of his head to direct your steps straight to the copilot seat.

Once the belt is secured around your chest and waist, the man joins the empty road in silence. You know you don't need to tell him your address, and you don't even feel curious anymore. You were right he's a cop, he has unlimited resources. You wouldn't mind knowing what he has investigated about you, having too much interest to take you to your house. But soon you discover he may not be a man of words since the road has been in holy silence, looking sideways towards you a couple of times, maybe to be sure you were good.

Arriving in your neighborhood, you unlock the seat belt as he parks his car in front of the building you live in, turning off the noisy engine.

“I… appreciate it”. You whisper puckering your lips. “Thank you, ahm…”

“Voight. Hank Voight”. You notice his tone of voice failing for a brief, brief moment the first time he utters his last name.

“Thank you, Hank Voight”. You nod satisfied by finally knowing his name.

“Got to tell you something, before you leave. I don't do this usually”.

“Do what? Pick up a nurse in the middle of the night?”

Licking his teeth as he places the arm, which should have on a sling, over the wheel, he turns a little to your position.

“Talk about my past”. He just replies, making a short pause after his words. “I had a brush with Casey because of my son when I was running the Gang Unit of Chicago. I went to jail for a year for threatening him and his fiancé. I don't feel proud. We ain't friends now, but we ain't enemies either. Just wanted you to know it”.

The confession takes you by surprise. Matt hasn't talked to you about it before, so maybe he's right and it doesn't have much importance now. But even so, you aren't comfortable about it right now and he feels it. The click of his tongue pushes you out of your thoughts, while the gesture on your face switches suddenly. Hank likes you a little, you aren't going to deny it, but that fact changes everything you were thinking about before he picked you up.

Not sure of what to say, not being able to look at the man next to you, the only thing you do is open the door and step out of it in silence. It's not like you have imagined a life with him, but maybe some dates or something. That guy caught you since the first moment you walked into Will's office, but he wasn't wrong when he told you he isn't a good boy. Looking for your keys inside your bag, you're tempted to turn around and try to understand why he did what he did, but Matt is everything you have in this city; he's more than your housemate. He's your best friend, your ‘brother from another mother’.

Coming inside the building, you hear Hank's car starting to leave after making sure that you're safe. Once in the lift, you text Matt to let him know you are back at home.

#lemme know what you think in a comment! ⚡#chicago pd #chicago pd imagine #chicago pd x reader #one chicago #hank voight #hank voight imagine #hank voight x reader

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khaleesiofalicante · 3 years

Note

Hellooo!!

How have you been? I hope you enjoy your break! Did you have enough sleep and water? What kind of tea did you drink? Sending all my love from here💙💙

Now, besides all the love, I feel like I will be crying, so let's do this 😂

What has Max been doing with magic? I don't like this...

"He had been using his magic to keep his heart beating. If he stopped using his magic, it felt like his heart would stop too." Not to be dramatic, but this is killing me....

THE LONDON BOYS! I didn't remember... This is somehow worse 😭 Jackson. I can't.

"Because that’s what dad did. He always stepped up and did his job – no matter the pain." THIS. This is so true

Ok, I'm crying for that speech. Literally crying...

Black fire. I have no words

"I couldn't even give him the one thing he asked of me.” Oh god this is pure pain!!

"Max had always felt that way – like he was a bomb about to go off." THIS is so complicated and sad 🥺🥺

"His father put his arms around him and counted to ten softly." Will Alec Lightwood-Bane stop being so perfect? Jk, I hope he doesn't 💙💙

“Bapak and Rafe will help you.” “What about you?” Max frowned. His father smiled. “Me too. Yes.” (I don't like where this is going... Is he sick? Is there something wrong?? Beside the obvious?? Jjsusbdk im confusion...)

🥺🥺 Alec taking care of Max with the alliance rune made me emo🥺🥺

Really, Alec Lightwood-Bane needs a rest!!

Shit. Helen is sick!!! Brain tumor!!! This is too much

No, no, no. I don’t like this...Alec can’t go!!

“Except put together that Star Wars Lego set,” Oh god😂😂

They are so precious and perfect for each other it physically hurts!!

CLARY!!! It's too much pain!! “He never got to call me mom.”🥺🥺

Well, at least they are communicating…

“Only a fool would willingly walk into Edom.” I don’t want to ruin it for you...But you kind of did…

Clary and Magnus are an underrated duo and I hope they have some peace after that. I can still hope, ok??

“The criminal and the dreamer. They had to feel the same pain.” This sounds like a fairy tale, ngl

“In sickness and in health, right?” These two need to stay together… Rosewood would be a badass couple and I’m 100% sure about that

“My parents still sing to me when I can’t fall asleep. I kinda like it.”🥺🥺 This too much!

Juahsziuew Rosewood!!!

“But no. He wasn’t going to assume what she wanted. Bapak had told him never to assume.” I will say this a thousand times. Parenting done right!💙

“Divine offering.” Sounds accurate

For someone who likes order, Rafael is such a mess😂

Uhuyshuda literally screamed at all that. and the “Kiss me. Destroy me. Do whatever you want with me” quote fucking destroyed me!!

“It’s a family thing,” Yes it is💙💙

Fuck. Fuck. I would literally like to quote everything here!! He is so cheesy I can’t!!! But this would be longer, and I have to sumon all my self-control to just stay in WOW!!!I LIVE FOR THIS!!💙💙💙

“But then the girl walked into the room as if Lexi’s gayness had summoned her.” Her Gay Panic is giving me life!!😂😂

“First, the fake dating and now the bed-sharing. Lexi was living inside a fucking fanfiction.” Bro, you are breaking the fourth wall!!

Julian calls her Olly!!! The pain is back :)

What?? Not the dreams again. Oh God, I didn't know that she used to dream about David!!And now!!! I’M SO CONFUSED RIGHT NOW!!

I have so many questions and 0 answers!!! Anyway, love the chapter and I’M LIVING FOR THE ANGST!! Sending all my love once again!!💜

I loved this so much. As always, I love reading about the parts and traits that resonate with the readers. It's so rewarding and motivating. Thank youuuuuuu

I'm good. It's raining (night here) so I am loving it. I have to submit an assignment tomorrow and I haven't started yet lol. So gonna make some tea and work on that dxkhjfkjsdhf.

I drink mint green tea in the morning/day/evening and butterfly pea flower tea at night 💙

I hope you are doing well too. Sending you some nice chill, rainy vibes.

#lbaf

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george-fabian-weasley · 3 years

Text

Four Musketeers pt. 1; One Day

—The One who Never Notices—

Summary: The One who Never Notices. Your first love. Your first pain. Fred Weasley.

Words: 4,405 words

Warnings ⚠ : Just pure, raw angst, heartbreak, one sided relationship (sort of), 3 years of insufferable crush

Disclaimer: It's hard to capture 3 years worth of feelings in words. And I was surprised at it being only 4K, I could've sworn it felt like 7K or something. This is my story, based on my real life pathetic almost-love story, so please enjoy crying :) Listen to One Day too while reading, it's the best song I could find that really described my feelings towards the guy 2 years ago.

TAGLIST FOR FOUR MUSKETEERS: HERE

enjoy!

Loud giggles erupted from upstairs, you softly smiled at the sound of your daughter. Her boyfriend had come over to hang out, and she was smiling the whole day. You then heard the sound of feet stepping down the stairs, peeking your head through the kitchen to see the boy who managed to capture her heart leaving.

"Goodbye!" You bid, the young man turned and smiled politely to you; bidding goodbye as well, and left.

A while later, your teenage daughter, Dian came down; kissing your cheek as she passed you by and went to the fridge.

"That's early of him," You chirped, yet your eyes were still on the halfway sweater you're knitting at your lap. Dian smiled, "Yeah, he had some errands to do. When is Dad coming home again?"

You paused the knitting, looking at your 16-year-old child, "Around Tuesday, I think. Why? You want to sleepover at his house?"

Dian made a disgusted face and laughed, "No, I'm just asking. It's been quite a while since we've had dinner with Dad."

You nodded in understanding, your husband has been busy lately, always Apparating here and there for his job.

"Say, mum," Dian suddenly said. You hummed, the knitting continued. Although you have magic, sometimes you want to do it with your own hands, the calming after effect is just surreal.

"Can you tell me one more time about the Four Musketeers?"

She was now sitting down on one of the stools of the kitchen counter, her palms became the resting place for her chin as her elbows plopped to the surface of the counter. You chuckled in disbelief, "Darling dear, you've heard the story a thousand times now haven't you?"

She whined, "But every time you tell it, there's something new! Oh, come on mum, please!"

You scoffed in disbelief, "And what's with the 'Four Musketeers' name? As far as I remember, those boys are not musketeers." You chuckled.

Dian gave you a toothy grin, "A little nickname won't hurt. They were your high school sweethearts after all."

"Ah, Ah," You wagged a finger before her, "They were not my sweethearts, you know that. They were just... my almost love stories."

Dian rolled her eyes playfully, "Same difference, mum! Come on, tell the story please!"

You sighed, stopping the knit. With a quiet whish of your wand, the knitting equipment cleaned themselves up to the upper cabinet. With another flick of your wand, two cups of tea appeared in front of you, Dian quickly grabbed hers.

"Well, which one do you want to hear first?" You said, lazily smiling at your beautiful daughter. Dian smiled in victory, and quickly said, "From the beginning to the end, please."

You rolled your eyes playfully, a soft smile on your lips, "Oh, alright."

"The One who Never Notices it is."

— Hogwarts, 1991

You were fourteen, he was fifteen.

And at fifteen, Fred Weasley was already famous for being a cheeky prankster along with his twin brother, George. Somehow before that, you've never heard of his name before.

Being so young and naive, his wild personality had attracted your attention. It all started during the joint Potions class between the Fourth Years and the Fifth Years, due to some reasons Professor Snape made that you had no recall of.

You were assigned a temporary seat next to him on the first day of the class, to see the compatibility of the two years together. You were shy and naive, and he was cheeky and friendly.

"Hey, how are you doing? The name's Weasley, Fred Weasley." He said cheerfully with a large smile, his short red hair was heavily distracting, yet you managed to introduce yourself politely; the fear of sitting next to a senior was... big.

That was all you had as a conversation, as Snape rearranged the class back, one side was the Fourth Years, and the Fifth Years at the other.

It was the first time a senior had been so friendly to you. Especially a well-known one.

You find yourself being attracted to him, despite the lack of conversation you had. You barely knew Fred, you didn't know anything about him. But you were head over heels for the boy.

It was Christmas when you found the courage to ask him something. You were nervous the whole day long, jittery of your newfound feelings for the boy.

Fred Weasley was... in your eyes, perfect.

You found him in the Great Hall playing with his brother George, smiling widely. The smile caused a leap in your heart, and you find your hands getting sweaty.

He noticed you, and his wide smile reduced to a smaller one, "Hello there,"

You shyly smiled and cleared your throat, "Hello Fred," His grin became toothy as he heard you roll out his name, "What do you need?"

You looked down, nervous.

"Um, my mum sent me a muggle camera here as a birthday gift. So I was wondering if we could... Um..." You trailed off, the redness of your face was terribly evident.

"Oh, you want to take a picture with me?"

You looked up to him; he was a tad taller than you, and gave him a hopeful look, "If that's completely fine with you, of course."

He nodded almost instantly, his wide smile back on his lips, "Wicked! I've always wanted to see how muggle cameras work!"

You took the camera leash that was hanging around your neck and giddily explained to George what to do.

"Quite offended you didn't want to take a picture with me, eh?" George teased you, and you blushed, "You can join, of course! Really, I don't mind."

"Wicked." Was all George said before calling out his older brother, Percy Weasley; the Gryffindor prefect and briefly explained what to do.

You were placed between Fred and George, Fred at your right, and George at your left. Other students were glancing at you weirdly, unaccustomed to the camera culture.

Flashes came and you smiled, wanting to look pretty so that you can see them back home later. When Percy lowered down the camera to look at the results, you turned to the twins, "Thank you."

They smiled, "Not a problem. Say, why do you want a picture with us?"

"Um... It's for... My scrapbook! It's a journal about my school years, and knowing you two as the pranksters of Hogwarts, I need to at least have evidence I knew you two."

There was no scrapbook; although a good idea when you thought back about it.

"Brilliant! Do you mind if we have some for ourselves? Dad will be so excited to see us using muggle cameras." George said, his eyes twinkling in excitement.

You nodded profusely, wanting to please the twins to get on their good side, and possibly... get noticed by Fred. "Absolutely, go ahead. I'll owl you the prints later."

Christmas holidays went by fast, and it's school time again. You've kept your promise, and sent the prints to the Weasley house with your owl. You printed extra copies of them, blushing profusely at you and Fred, completely ignoring poor George at your other side.

Innocent love, it was.

Throughout your fifth year, whenever you bumped into Fred, you shyly waved at him, or smiled in his direction. He would surely do the same, but then that was it. You weren't sure what you were to him, are you friends? Acquaintances?

Even so, your feelings for him were strong.

The way you blush whenever you think of him, the way all of your friends knew of your big crush on him, the way whenever he walks by, you gave him your prettiest smile.

The way you were helplessly in love with a boy you barely knew. So you did something, something that you had never thought you would do.

You were fifteen, he was sixteen, when you confessed.

That day changed your life. You couldn't really say what it was that day, but it was absolutely dreadful. You couldn't even remember that day that your young heart was broken so early.

All you remember was, his face forming a frown, him taking a few steps back, him avoiding your eyes, him saying with a cold voice, "I'm not ready for a relationship."

"I'm sorry."

And him treating you differently from then on.

"I'm fine, guys, really!" You said to your friends with a wide smile when you got back to your dorm that night, but when they saw through you, your lips began to quiver and the bridge of tears began cascading down your cheeks.

From then on, you began to avoid him. Whenever you saw Fred, you would turn the other way or just pass by him like he was another student walking around the hallway.

But you knew he's not.

During the sixth month of your fifth year, you heard it. The word from student to student. The word that broke you so deeply.

"Fred Weasley and Angelina are dating!"

"I'm not ready for a relationship." His words echoed through your mind. It echoed in your mind the whole day long, you couldn't focus on the classes that day, zoning out every now and then.

You excused yourself from Professor Flitwick's class to go to the bathroom, suddenly the air in there felt stuffy and you couldn't breathe. Walking to the nearest bathroom, you kept your head down low. A headache was coming at you, looks like even your brain is tired of the echoing words of Fred Weasley.

And then you looked up. And there they are, in shining glory.

He was looking at her in pure adoration, the same look he gave you in your dreams only. A soft blush rested on his cheeks, his lips were constantly a soft smile. She was leaning against the wall, and he was in front of her. She was smiling, he was grinning.

He looked so... happy. So different from the frown on his face and the cold voice he gave you a few months ago.

So. So different.

He's not unready for a relationship, he's just not ready for a relationship with you.

Your heart plummeted to the ground, suddenly the stuffy air from Flitwick's classroom attacked you in the middle of the hallway. You bit your tongue hard, not wanting to show them your vulnerable side, if they noticed you anyway.

Your feet that were glued onto the ground just a few seconds ago moved backwards. Similar to when Fred walked a few steps back that day.

You couldn't cry, you couldn't find the strength to do so.

It hurt.

It hurt but you couldn't cry.

You... You felt numb.

Leaving the hallway behind, you began walking. And walking. The pain in your heart turned into anger. Slowly, shifting the sadness in your heart into pure anger towards the tall ginger.

'He hurt me. He lied to me. He played me.'

The pace of your walk quickened. You were walking, then jogging, then in full speed running across the hallway. You didn't care where your legs took you, you just ran.

You ran, and ran, and ran until your legs gave out. An abandoned classroom right in front of you. You entered without a second wasted, quickly casting on a silencing charm to make the room soundproof.

And you scream.

You screamed and screamed and screamed until your throat hurt. You kicked every single abandoned desk there was, throwing your anger and stress towards the static objects.

And when your throat croaked in pain, that's when the urge to cry resurfaced.

At fifteen, you cried for a boy who you barely knew, but you dearly loved.

You didn't realize you've spent a few hours there, so when you got out of the classroom, it was already dark. So you walked back to your common room with aching legs, bloated eyes, and a heavy, but lighter than before heart.

Took you a few weeks, really, to get used to seeing Fred and Angelina everywhere attached by the hip to each other. Whenever they're around, your friends would shoot you a glance, making sure you're okay. You would usually glance at the couple, shrugged, and continued laughing with your friends.

It still hurt, you're just better at hiding it.

Halloween came along and Hogwarts did a Halloween party where everyone dressed up as something. You were the photographer of the night, bringing the muggle camera.

That same camera from Christmas.

You shrugged off the thought and began your work. Quite a lot of people actually threw their best efforts into their outfits. Oliver Wood dressed as a zombie Quidditch player, his makeup was done quite nicely.

Harry, Ron, and Hermione dressed as the Three Musketeers with their cute fake swords and fake mustaches. You took plenty of pictures of them fooling around, it was fun on your part as well.

While taking pictures of Neville being a scarecrow, someone called you through the loud music. You looked around and saw George waving at you.

You walked to him, smiling at his Frankenstein's monster outfit, "Do you want me to take a picture of you?" You offered, and he nodded before he furrowed his eyebrows at you, "Oh hey, you're the one from Christmas last year!"

You smiled, although a bit bitterly this time, "Yes, that's me."

"Dad was fascinated by the pictures, by the way, thanks a lot!" George said, smiling the whole time. Your smile became more genuine and shook your head, "It's nothing, really. Do you want me to take pictures of you, Mr. Frankenstein?" You chuckled at your little joke and he laughed a bit as well.

"Absolutely, let me call Fred for a bit. He's dressing as Dr. Frankenstein!" He said excitedly and turned around, your smile drained so fast. You quickly put on your Grim Reaper mask to hide your face.

There is no bloody way you're going to let him see you.

Wait.

Why are you hiding?

You blinked. You've done nothing wrong to him, it's just a confession and he rejected you, so what? Everyone gets rejected once in a while, it's nothing to be ashamed of. It's not like you'll be tossed to Azkaban if you show yourself.

'Huh, make sense.' You thought as you pulled back the mask to the top of your head. You're right, you've done nothing wrong. It's not like you'll fall for him again once you saw his face-

Oh Bloody Merlin.

Fred Weasley came into your vision, smiling widely to his brother. He was dressed up as Dr. Frankenstein, with his hair dyed black and spiked and he had goggles on the top of his head, wearing the white scientist suit with black rubber gloves and boots.

Your breath stopped. It's been a while since you've properly seen him, courtesy to avoiding to look at him ever since the incident.

You snapped away your thoughts fast, putting on your professional stance as the school's photographer.

"Here he is!" George said and smiled at you, frowning slightly at the sight of you looking a little pale. Fred trailed his eyes to you, the smile on his lips drained as well. Yet he quickly put on a small smile, "Hello,"

You looked at Fred in confusion, did he just say hello to you? Whatever, let's get this over with. "Alright, strike a pose, you two."

Several pictures were taken of them being completely silly and you laughed at their demeanor. "Oh, wait! Angelina!" George said loudly, and your laughter paused rather quickly.

Angelina came in the shot and similar to her name, she was dressed as a beautiful angel, with a bowstring at her back, so you assumed she's dressing up as Cupid.

Suddenly, you were self-conscious of your Grim Reaper outfit. In all honesty, it was just a long black robe that trails to the ground a few inches with a large hood. Your fake synth was right beside you, holding it still under your armpit.

"Come take a picture with us!" George said, and Fred somehow noticed you were becoming uncomfortable, "Maybe not now-"

You shook your head, snapping away from the self-consciousness, "It's alright, the more the merrier." Fred watched you silently and nodded, his lips quickly painting a soft smile as Angelina kissed him on the cheek.

This is what you hate about Fred. He's too kind, sometimes way too kind until you misinterpret what he does to you. Like just now, who the fuck does that to the person they know liked them?

They posed a few times, most of the time, it's just George third-wheeling Fred and Angelina, making you feel quite sorry for the boy. Hell, you felt like you were fourth-wheeling and hurting at the same time.

After the flashes ended, Angelina spoke, "Do you wanna have a picture with these boys? I can take it for you."

You were about to politely decline when suddenly George said, "What a brilliant idea! It'll be just like Christmas last year!"

Well.

So there you were, at the center of the picture again, between the twins again. You hesitantly looked up to Fred, and he looked down at you with a small smile.

Sigh, always too nice.

You looked away and smiled for the camera. George was having his fun time posing while you and Fred were awkward the whole time. After it ended, you thanked Angelina and walked away when suddenly a voice called for your name.

It was him.

You turned around, and he was quite far from you, like a meter or two when he said, "I'll see you around, yeah?"

You shrugged and gave him a small smile, "Maybe."

At fifteen, you had mixed feelings towards Fred.

It's an on-and-off relationship really, but on your side only. There would be a period of time where you absolutely despised him, talking shit about him to your friends at every chance you get. You would convince yourself you were over him so many times.

And then there would be times where you were helplessly in love with him, even when you're well aware of his strong relationship with Angelina. You were genuinely believing that what you felt was love.

It was bloody confusing.

And how it went on until your sixth year, was beyond you.

By the time you reached sixteen, you had understood the circumstances of your feelings. You didn't care if he didn't notice you, as long as he's happy, you're happy for him. The aching in your heart had become so frequent, that you had become numb to it . At this point, you were just hoping for some other boy to come and swoop you up, saving you from this one-sided relationship with Fred Weasley.

3 years, wasted on a boy who barely knows you. At this point, your friends were tired of you and him. They would just nod and say the same thing, "Like someone else, and he'll be gone."

And so you tried. But Bloody Fred Weasley made it hard for anyone else to top him. Every Time you saw another suitable boy, all they reminded you of was Fred.

How his freckles decorated his face like countless numbers of stars to the sky, how his eyelashes were obnoxiously beautiful and long for a male, how his confidence on his long hair made you wonder of many things, how his lips etch the wide smile whenever he did pranks or laugh with his friends.

Whenever his brown eyes sometimes resembled a pool of warm honey when glazed with the sunshine rays.

Fred Weasley was excruciatingly a pain in the ass. And he doesn't even know it.

You were sixteen, he was seventeen, when he left.

You heard news of Fred and George quitting school suddenly, something about the desire of opening their own joke shop. You had mixed feelings of course, you didn't want him to go, yet at the same time, you do.

Maybe with him gone, you would get over him easier. 3 years being stuck on feelings for a guy who rejected you two years ago wasn’t the best feeling.

You quietly looked away when you saw Fred passionately kissing Angelina goodbye from afar. The poor girl had tears in her eyes, yet she was smiling to support him. He hopped on the broom, lingered on the air for a bit to stare at Angelina for a while, before leaving Hogwarts forever.

He's gone. And you weren't sure what to feel about it. The sting inside your chest wasn't helping either.

"Fred." You called out his name, the way it rolled out your tongue so easily familiarly tingles your heart. The tall ginger turned around and smiled, "Hello there."

"I need to tell you something," You said, you weren't nervous at all. You were confident, the main goal was just to let out everything, so you can be free out of his grasp.

He had you around his finger, and he barely noticed it.

"Well, let it out then," He said, smiling down at you. "You remember two years ago? Where I confessed and you rejected me?" You began. He nodded, the smile was still intact on his lips as if you're asking about the bloody weather. "Yeah?"

"I'm still not over you. I'm in love with you, Fred Weasley. I am so, deeply, and helplessly in love with you." You smiled as you breathed out the words. The cage you had contained on your chest for years was finally open, and you felt all the old butterflies flying free out of you.

Fred pursed his lips, his eyebrows furrowing, "... You know I love Angelina." He said quietly, seemingly not wanting to hurt your feelings any further. You find your eyes watering, yet you felt no remorse or pain. Were those happy tears? You don't know, but you don't mind it.

"I know. And you two are perfect for each other. I've already accepted that you'll never love me the way I love you, Freddie. I accept that you'll never see me as beautiful as the way I see you. I accept that you'll never describe me in such poetic words the way I describe you. I accept that you'll never smile whenever I was mentioned in the conversation the way I smile when you're in the talk," You paused to wipe your tears off your cheeks, Fred just watching you letting it all out on him, watching as your shoulders got lighter, and your smile got wider.

"And I accept that I'm not your first love as you are mine."

Fred quietly watched you, his soft smile gave a pleasant feeling to you. He slowly reached out to you, wrapping his arms around you.

You waste no time to hug him back, how for so many years you yearned what it would feel like to have his arms around your waist, or his hand on the back of your head, or his chin on your shoulder.

"Thank you," Was all he whispered in your ear, as he let you go, yet his hands still on your arms, "I suppose this would be the time I let you go now?"

You chuckled, wiping your tears off, "Please do, I can't keep loving you, Fred. It bloody hurts." You teasingly said, with a tinge of truth. He chuckled along.

Slowly, Fred reached out his hand, and with a soft voice and doe eyes, he spoke for the last time, "The name's Weasley. Fred Weasley."

You smiled, and shook his hand, "Pleasure."

You woke up. And then tears came along. And the sobs.

You were shaking, crying so hard your roommates woke up in a groggy state. When they found you crying, they hugged you so tight, feeling helpless on how to help you.

You were crying, but the wide smile on your lips was evident.

You were sixteen, he was seventeen, when you said goodbye.

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"Wow," Was all Dian could say. She had heard this story so many times before, but it took her breath every time.

"Why didn't you stop loving him, mum? He hurt you so much before he left. " She asked.

You shrugged and sighed, "I was sixteen, Dian. And he was my first love. It's the first time I had ever felt heavily for a boy like that."

Dian sighed, "You can't say it's first love when he doesn't love you back, mum. Blimey, he doesn't even know you."

You snorted, "It doesn't have to be reciprocal for first love to happen, darling. You just... Know it's first love. No matter how much you mean to the other person."

Dian tched, pouring down another cup of warm tea, "It's still not fair on your side. 3 years aren't a short time. And the fact that he didn't even notice!" Dian rolled her eyes in frustration, feeling sorry for you.

"No, I think he noticed. Like you said, 3 years are not a short time." You smile gently, looking down to your empty cup. The residue tea leaves in the cup reminded you of Trelawney's class many years ago.

Dian widened her eyes, "So he knew this whole time? That you were in love with him? And he never said a thing?!"

You chuckled, "What was he supposed to say, sweetheart? He's already in love with someone else, you know that."

Dian was growing angry at the man, "That's the point, mum! He knew what it's like to be in love, so he knew how you felt and he never came forward to say anything!" Her voice was becoming louder than before, the urge to protect her mother was stronger than ever.

You laughed at her anger, in your eyes she looked adorable, "Calm down, Dian. We were teenagers. We can't possibly think of everything, we were still growing. I don't blame him for anything, he taught me so many things and he didn't even know he was doing it."

Dian groaned, "Mum, you need to stop looking at everything in a bright direction."

You chuckled, having no response to that. Pouring yourself another cup of tea, you said with a soft voice, "I guess you could say The One who Never Noticed is wrong." Dian raised an eyebrow, "How so?"

You sighed in content at the warm liquid entering your system, and you smiled at your daughter, "He should be The One who Never Cared."

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Four Musketeers pt. 2; Heather : COMING SOON!

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