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zbeez-outlet · 2 years

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Expressing His Love for You

Levi x Gender Neutral Reader Headcanons

This is in response to an ask that I got a little while ago that was unfortunately lost, but I loved the headcanon concept. I hope the person who sent the ask finds this post, I'm so sorry it got lost! And I hope it fulfills what you asked for!

Concept: How Levi shows you that he loves you because he's a little emotionally dumb and bad with words.

Levi definitely leans heavier on showing his love rather than saying it out loud. His love language, I think, is a mix of acts of service and quality time.

He's not the greatest at communicating his emotions through words, but you've gotten pretty good at reading his micro expressions in your time together.

If you really want to know how he feels about you, it'll be in all the little things.

In the tiny edge of a smile you recognize pulling at his lips when you walk into a room. In the brush of his fingers against your own in a crowd. In the new habits and tendencies he has to weave you into the routines of his life.

He'll make you coffee in the mornings he gets up before you - which is most mornings - just the way you like it even though he despises the stuff. It'll be warm and sitting next to a steaming cup of tea in a matching porcelain cup you know belongs to him.

When you're overworked, in whatever form that takes (as a member of the military or not), he helps you relax with a massage or a foot rub.

One of his favorite things to do is take some of your favorite scented lotion and rub it thoroughly into the aching joints of your hands and wrists - they also happen to be one of his favorite (of many) parts of your body, so he believes they should be well cared for.

At night, he loves when you read to him. Levi will rest his head in your lap and just listen, fighting sleep because he wants to catch every lilt in your words, not caring that much about the book itself. He's adamant about consistency with this nightly ritual, he can't sleep properly unless it's to the sound of your voice.

Levi is hesitant about physical affection, especially in public, but he knows even small gestures are important to you.

When the two of you are alone, he likes to tuck your hair behind your ear or caress his knuckles along the soft curve of your cheek. Pressing his lips to your forehead is calming; they make him feel tall and strong and protective over how precious you have become to him.

In public, he'll sneak a brush of your fingers together or risk a warm palm on your knee under the table, just to feel you, to know you're there.

If you're in the Survey Corps:

He'll practically drag all of your supplies and papers into his office so you can do paperwork together, usually in silence with the occasional disruption of your humming that makes him smile despite himself. There will be candles lit late into the night as you work.

Levi will be extra particular about you're equipment, checking and re-checking everything several times over to diminish chances of malfunction.

He'll train with you himself, stricter and harsher than he is with anyone else but you understand it's because he's just scared. You more than live up to expectations once you fall into a rhythm and work through a few disagreements about what you're actually capable of - talented yes, but you are not an Ackerman, you have limits.

You caught him once lecturing your horse about taking good care of you beyond the walls, but you never told him you knew about it. Just tucked away the memory to make you smile every now and then.

He likes to steam and press your uniform for you, wanting you to hold yourself proud in the crisp and clean clothes. Not a wrinkle in sight.

Despite both of your busy schedules, he always makes sure that the two of you share mealtimes, even if you can't see each other the rest of the day. He gets a little paranoid about your health, so he needs to make sure you're eating well, but he also just enjoys the guaranteed time you can have together every day even if you're overloaded with training and paperwork and new recruits.

If you're not in the Survey Corps:

He's both relieved that you're safe from the horrors of his job and upset by how much time he has to spend away from you. Sometimes it can be weeks before he can leave headquarters to see you.

He's not amazing with words, but he makes sure to respond to every letter you write him - which is often. They tend to come out a bit curt like the reports he writes for Erwin, but always adds a snarky joke or a doodle of Hange's latest exploits. He'd be embarrassed, as he is by no means an artist, but he knows they make you laugh, so the doodles stay.

Every letter you've ever sent him is neatly folded and stored in a tin latched box he keeps under his bed. Your most recent letter can usually be found under his pillow because it makes him feel close to you when he tries to sleep.

He sends you a portion of his paycheck every other week. Levi knows you have the funds to care for yourself, but he never wants to leave you wanting for anything if he can help it, and it's not like he's spending much of it anyway.

You may not know it, and Levi doesn't realize he does it, but he brags about you so much, in his own quiet way. And only to those he's closest to, of course. He's proud of the things you're passionate about and all of the hard work you've put into your career.

Levi has a drawing of you he secretly commissioned Moblit for that he keeps carefully tucked away in his desk, looking at it when he has a moment alone when it's been far too many nights without you. A solemn but loving smile will curl his trembling lip, but it's the only thing to tide him over until he can see the real thing. Somehow, he's always a little surprised by how much he misses you.

When he does get free time to see you, he pampers the hell out of you. Taking care of all the cooking and cleaning and chores despite your pleas for him to take advantage of the time he has off to rest.

He plans for strolls through the markets so he can treat you to small pieces of jewelry or little knickknacks or exquisite foods you rarely treat yourself to, and he holds your hand because in those moments he's not Captain Levi, he's a man in love. Plus he doesn't want you wandering off as you tend to do.

If he worries his actions aren't enough:

Every once in a while, Levi will get a little paranoid.

He's not good with words, he knows that about himself, and he's especially not good about using words to express how he's feeling.

And then he falls into the trap of thinking that the things he does to show you he loves you aren't enough for you to actually know, not when you're far more vocal about it than he is.

His heart races every time he hears the words "I love you" from your lips, but he rarely says it back - scared and a little emotionally constipated as he is.

When he starts panicking that you don't know he loves you, he makes the hilarious decision of going to Hange for advice. Hange, who will tease and cackle and help him plan something over the top and extravagant.

A candlelit dinner under the stars with a violinist and champagne and stark formal clothing. It's too much, it's not you, but he's panicking so he goes through with it anyway.

You'll humor him of course, despite feeling slightly uncomfortable and more than a little overwhelmed - part of you worries this is a proposal you're not sure either of you are ready for.

Levi will stutter through the dinner, uncharacteristically fidgeting in his seat like a restless toddler. A comparison you know he'd have your head for.

Eventually you'll ask him what the occasion is for all of the indulgences, and he'll manage to stammer out a "love you" after a few deep gulps of the champagne. You'll smile and reach for his hand, squeezing it reassuringly in your own, and say a resolute, "I know, I love you too."

It gets his heart racing again because you do know, you do and he panicked over nothing.

He'll send away the violinist because three's a crowd, and you'll take off your too tight formal shoes despite his protests about the dirt.

You'll spend the rest of the night swaying under the stars to the music of your joined heartbeats, hands laced and foreheads pressed together, sharing the occasional sweet little whisper.

All you need to do to know he loves you is look into his eyes, the shining silver reciting poetry of how much he adores you more beautiful than any words could hope to be.

#levi x reader #levi ackerman x reader #levi x you #levi headcanons #levi ackerman #levi ackerman x you #fanfic #aot x reader #attack on titan #aot fanfiction

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arionawrites · 7 months

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it’s this concept of you can never get it back, you know? time is linear and structured and confusing and irrational and maybe i could believe in time travel and fantastical ideas of forever and always and maybe, yeah, you can relive those moments in your dreams, but even then, even in the most hopeful and whimsical of scenarios, it will never be the first time all over again

your favorite movie will never be the same on the second watch. your favorite show will never be the same as the first time you saw it.

there are positives, right? life is not darkness and negativity and i appreciate that—you may not be able to watch your favorite movie or your favorite show again and experience it the way you did originally, but you can find something new with every rewatch. there are silver linings and i hold onto them until my fingers bleed and still my grip is not strong enough.

there is good. there is bad. there is black and white and the neverending grey area in between.

there is also red and blue and orange and green and every other color and shade. there is everything and it is all so beautiful and yet it can all feel so bland.

sometimes that makes it worse, i think. not the idea that the world itself is bland, but that, somehow, i am the only one to see it so poorly. somehow, the world is bright and colorful and full of whimsy and i am stuck with the feeling of void hopelessness. is it just me?

it both is and it also definitely isn’t.

there are a lot of fine lines and precariously balanced situations—when do intentions matter and when do actions outweigh the intentions behind them? when do you rely on a support system and when do you lean on that support system to the point of it being unhealthy?

i wrote something once. it was a character who struggled to stop a bad habit and found motivation in hating the way it made the people he loves sad. “[he] doesn’t want to make [his loved one] sad, knows that he should avoid the [bad habit] for himself but figures it’s a process to get to that point, figures that he should start with having a reason at all and then work towards making that reason something more about himself.”

i write things that make sense to me and then i read them back and i find myself crying because i don’t understand anymore. because i read that passage and i get it but also i don’t. it’s incredible how a change in sunlight shifts my entire perspective. it’s terrifying how the hour of day contrasts so heavily with night.

i read that very same passage a few days ago while sun shone through my window and i thought, wow.

but now. the moon hidden with the stars behind dark clouds in the middle of the night, i read that and i think, is that how i really view recovery?

for the wrong reasons in the hopes that they turn right? the wrong methods praying that the result is worth it?

it is daunting. i have never felt less intimidated. i have also never felt more scared than i do right now.

the clock keeps ticking and the moon shines through cracks in the clouds and i wonder what it’s like to be 23 and not feel uncomfortable hugging my mom. i wonder what it’s like to be 16 and not feel scared about what eventually moving out will mean for my little sister’s future. i wonder what it’s like to be alive and not have the very life you live be centered on so many others, practically anyone that is not yourself.

sometimes i write things that make sense to me but sometimes i write things that don’t. this is not writing so much as it is a ramble of words plucked helplessly from the air in the hopes of creating something salvagable and comprehensible and real.

thie is real.

yet nothing has ever felt quite so fake.

#1:16 am

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creepykuroneko · 1 year

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It always strikes me as odd when I'm having a conversation with another ADULT about sex and pregnancy comes up. To be specific the odd part in the conversation is when people complain they don't want kids, another kid, or act like conception is a 100% guaranteed outcome.

When I try to playfully remind people that contraceptives, abortion, and adoption are all valid options the conversation falls flat. In the USA newborn parents have the option to drop a baby who's less than a month old off at a fire department, hospital, or police stations, with no questions asked. They can straight up abandon a baby at these locations. To my knowledge fire departments even have a baby drop off box, and yet many Americans don't take advantage of these services.

Example 1: was talking with a co-worker who I'm very close to, she and I are the same age, and I was jokingly venting my sexual frustration because my husband and I ran out of condoms so we couldn't have a quickie before work. She give me a stern look and asked in all seriousness, why are you guys using condoms? Mind you she knows damn well that I do not ever want to have children. We've discussed that topic at great lengths. So I told her, because I like to have sex and I do not want to get pregnant. That ended the conversation right there.

Example 2: Friend was complaining about his teenage sons, how they keep talking back to him, and acting like they know everything. I told him it'll be okay there's less than 10 years till they're 18 and out of the house. His response was, "not unless I have more kids". I playfully reminded him there are different options to make sure that doesn't happen. He continued to complain about how much worse his life would be financially if he had more kids. I guess he was complaining just for the sake of complaining but at the same time I hope he would have enough sense to practice safe sex?

Example 3: Former coworker was telling me about how she was having an affair with a guy in her apartment. Please note I do not condone affairs. She was said that with the way things are going, he's going to end up getting both her and his wife pregnant. I reminded her that condoms and the morning after pill are always an option. She rolled her eyes at me and said, "I guess". I get it I can't tell other people what to do with their life. Yet the thought of people not taking the simplest measures to prevent something bad from happening really rubs me the wrong way.

Example 4: Another one of my friends who I love but does not always make good decisions in life has several children who she struggles to take care off. Don't get me wrong they are fed, well clothed, and go to school, but financially she is struggling, and she has a lot of Mental Health problems. She has this weird habit where when she is single she'll be on the pill or some other form of birth control but as soon as she starts dating a new man she immediately gets rid of all her contraceptives. Her excuse is, " they were making me sick". She was single for 3 years and was on the pill non-stop that entire time, but the moment she got a new boyfriend she immediately went off the pill a week later. 🤔 when I have asked her about making sure she doesn't get pregnant she says she uses the pull-out method which is not a good way to avoid pregnancy. She acts like getting pregnant when you're having sex in general is a inevitable side effect. Despite the fact that I know that she knows damn well how to avoid getting pregnant. Should talk about how she can't afford another baby but then when I try to talk to her about better contraceptives she shrugs it off like her fate is to continue to have babies.

These are just a few examples I have. There is no real point to this post I just felt like venting about something that bothers me. Please note, I am a polyamorous, bisexual, who has multiple sex partners. We always use condoms, we pay attention to menstrual cycles, and we take other measures to ensure safety first. So the thought of so many people not taking the most basic action to avoid and unwanted pregnancy just plain pisses me off. You live in a major city in the usa and you have a job! You have fucken options. Hell even many clinics will hand out free condoms these days Plus community colleges and universities.

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cleaning-has-its-benefits · 6 months

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Now here are 3 Omori-centric fics I ended up discarding. I could have made 3 separated posts, but since they’re all about Omori, then I thought I could just make a single post for them all. Three for the price of one, a good deal!

Tw for mentions of suicide in the second one

The first and most recent one was a pre-canon fic. It took place a little after Omori had been created. It’s summary would have been “Omori’s first lesson.”

So here Omori has been created recently and while he’s mostly functional, he doesn’t know shit of what’s going on and how things work, but he’s eager to learn and listen to Sunny’s instructions. Well, he does know about why he was created and what Sunny expects from him but yknow, he doesn’t really get the implications and all that, he know the theory but not the practice.

At some moment Abbi enters in whitespace, to talk with Sunny and generally offer some comfort because he really needs it, and she wasn’t really expecting to see anyone else in whitespace.

When Omori sees her, he immediately realizes she’s one like him, so a creation of Sunny, and he feels curiosity towards her, but he mostly wonders if she would want to be his friend and if she would want to play together.

Abbi, somewhat concerned at seeing a copy of Sunny, kinda getting a hunch it isn’t good news, asks Sunny who that is, motioning Omori. Sunny then tells her Omori’s name and a bit of what his purpose is, to protect Sunny from being hurt, someone strong, brave, and, above all, a good brother. The memory of blackspace is still fresh in his mind.

Hearing this, Abbi, with as much tact as possible, tries to explain to Sunny how bad this idea is. She kinda reads between the lines of what Sunny really intends for Omori to do, to replace himself, and being the wisest, she can predict how things will turn out. Maybe she gets visions of the future of what Omori will do or idk.

Sunny gets annoyed at her. He kinda gets like “didn’t ask” and Abbi gets more insistent in that Sunny is doubling down on his bad habits and that Omori will end up causing more damage than bringing any solutions, and that there are better ways. At this point in time, Sunny doesn’t believe at all that he can live life after what happened, the incident still too recent, and it either case, he doesn’t believe anything can make things worse than they already are. Maybe Abbi’s confrontation vaguely reminds him of the last time he spoke with Mari, or idk the point is that Sunny gets so annoyed with Abbi that he snaps and he’s the one who banishes her, no matter her pleas. Omori witnesses all of this with curiosity.

Immediately after Sunny second-guesses what he’s just done, but Omori reassures him that it was a good decision. Omori was made to be loyal to Sunny and he thinks the way to accomplish this is to agree with everything Sunny does. At this point he doesn’t have a good grasp of what’s good and bad… though I guess he never gets a good grasp of that, and he thinks Abbi’s punishment is acceptable. Warranted, even. Whoever defies Sunny and his wished deserves to be punished, and for this he should never get too attached to anyone, since it’s his job to do Sunny’s bidding, that’s Omori’s first lesson.

I decided to shelve this idea because I feel like it doesn’t have enough substance to be it’s own thing. It feels more like a flashback that should belong in a longer fic.

The second idea was a post-hikikomori route, taking place around one or two years after the events of the game, when Kel and Aubrey are in their last year of high-school.

This fic would have been a multichapter one and most of the scenes I had imagined where about Omori traveling back to Faraway town and meeting the rw friends. I guess the premise kinda goes against the point of the hikikomori route, but I imagined this fic when I was really into the concept of placing Omori in the real world and seeing how long he lasts before fucking it up royally.

I just kinda had a couple of loose scenes and ideas, no concrete plot.

The first scene I had imagined was of Omori meeting Aubrey. Now, one of the main things of this fic is that Omori doesn’t understand he’s in the real world. He believes he’s still in Sunny’s mind, and thus he still operates on hs rules. The point of this is that when he sees Aubrey for the first time, he isn’t surprised at all at her appearance or behavior. He kinda sees her similarly to all the Aubreys he stumbles upon in blackspace, more like curiosities than anything. The same goes for Kel and Hero, he has no attachment to them.

So, after wandering around Faraway for a bit, he finds Aubrey at the same spot the friendgroup originally met her, when she cried about her lost shoe, and she looks beyond depressed.

Basil’s suicide hit her hard, and since then she has lost all her rebellious spirit. She’s convinced she’s the reason Basil is dead, and she lives everyday in regret. A good part of the town believes the same, and if she had a bad fame before, you can imagine how things are for her now. And maybe the worst part of all that, in her eyes, is that the hooligans got dragged into that fame as well, all because she was blinded by anger and self-righteousness. Now they’re known as “those who drove a poor kid to suicide.” Although they’re still her friends, many of the families have forbidden them from associating with Aubrey any longer, and Kim is the one that has mostly stayed by her side. Another friendgroup lost, another friendgroup intermingled in the horror of suicide, but this time around it’s all her fault. Now she spends most of her time alone, on purpose avoiding Kim and the others, since she doesn’t want them to have more problems because of her. Graduation is coming up soon, and Aubrey is planning to leave Faraway once school is done. After her experiences with friendship, in certain way she believes misfortune must’ve chasing her, and she’s hesitant, or afraid even, at trying to make new friends somewhere far from there, so she’s planning to just… keep everyone she meets at a distance. Right now, all she wants is to get away from this town where she has felt so much pain.

In those thoughts she is when “Sunny” unceremoniously stops in front of her. Of course she’s surprised and somewhat disbelieving. She hasn’t seen Sunny ever since he first shut himself in, and most importantly, he hasn’t seen her in ages. He hasn’t seen how she became in her teenage years and much less how she tormented Basil until he killed himself because of it. Does he even know Basil is dead? She doesn’t think she has the face to tell him, and much less tell him the why, and how much she has fucked it up.

So when she speaks with Omori, she request him to forget he has seen her that day, and to just remember how she used to be, before everything went to hell. If he wants to reconnect with someone, he should go speak with Kel, who was at school. An important detail, when she asks Sunny to forget about her, she takes the pink pinwheel next to her and pucks it out.

She doesn’t seem to want to talk anymore, so Omori listens to her and heads towards the school, quickly forgetting about the encounter, that’s what he does best after all. Since he just sees her as a creature of blackspace, he doesn’t offer any comfort.

After that, I had an scene where Omori arrives at the school just before recess or P.E. or whatever, the point is that he first finds the school empty and sits down to wait, and later he talks with Kel over the fence. I didn’t elaborate this scene beyond this because I couldn’t decide what would have been Kel’s opinion on Aubrey. I can see it going both ways, it depends if they got to reconciliate during the three days or not.

Oh yeah, I forgot to mention, I had considered that when Omori first arrived at Faraway, by methods I hadn’t decided, his first idea was to go to Sunny’s house, finding the door closed. So, he wanders around trying to find a key, so after Aubrey tells him to go fetch Kel, he takes this as a mission, and wonders if maybe Kel has the key he needs.

A scene related to this is Omori simply breaking into the house, there finding a mother with her two daughters. Of course the mom is scared shitless at this rando entering the house like he owns the place, but Omori doesn’t pay any attention to her. He goes to Sunny’s room and there he finds a different arrangement, so he solves to sleep on the floor, in the place where Sunny’s bed used to be. Later he’s woken up by a policeman or smth, I didn’t really plan this and probably I wouldnt have used it since this sounds more out of a crackfic

Anyways, now there’s a couple of lose ideas I had for this. The first is that, of course, once Omori learns of Basil’s death he isn’t surprised at all. He’s only a little confused that Basil died “off screen” before he even arrived, but he reasons that this means in this place he has to find a Basil too. Maybe after spending some time with the other friends, while he doesn’t necessarily get attached to them, he thinks that Sunny wouldn’t want to see any iteration of his friends as sad as they are, so Omori makes a mental note of keeping an eye for any Basil he finds and bring him to the others.

And the other idea is the part where Omori fucks it up royally. So, for this Aubrey, Kel and Hero are kinda trying to maintain what’s left of their broken group (so the brothers don’t think ill of Aubrey). While spending time with Sunny, and probably noticing he’s acting weirdly, but all of them have changed due to what they’ve lived through, so they don’t question it much, they decide to look at the photo album, a very solemn activity. Probably Aubrey cries whenever a photo of Basil comes up and she’s comforted by the brothers. Although its really painful for her, she treasures each of Basil’s photos greatly… sadly, Omori doesn’t understand that.

In a moment where the album its left unattended, Omori takes the opportunity to “take care” of it. He remembers how a long time ago Sunny scribbled all over the photos, and he takes that as the example of what he should do with this album. Dunno if this other thing would be in character for how I’ve established him, as uncaring for the others, but seeing Aubrey’s pain it’s for him another justification that the album is bad. That’s his whole deal: anything that causes hurt is bad and he must get rid of anything bad. Then Aubrey (and Kel and Hero too, surely it’s painful for them too but for different reasons, and they kinda don’t express their pain as openly as Aubrey) wouldn’t feel so much pain.

So, since scribbling them out wasn’t a permanent solution, Omori solves to use scissors.

When Aubrey goes to check on Sunny, she finds whatever tiny pieces of the album are left. Omori hesitates a bit when he has to cut the last photo left of Sunny, since he misses him, but he doesn’t get to do so before Aubrey confronts him. I think it’s probably believable for Aubrey to react violently in this scenario, and it’s a bit of a reality-check for Omori. Normally he has free-reign to do his duties of eliminating whatever may threaten headspace’s functionality, and anyone trying to interfere must be eliminated as well. However, not only Aubrey easily overpowers him, but she also disarms him without much problem. Omori had never been disarmed before, and the brothers are the ones who must separate them. Not only is this humiliating for Omori, but also… extremely concerning. Just then he starts to question that there is something horribly wrong.

The friends question his actions, which they aren’t supposed to do, but also he’s powerless to put them into their place. Of course Omori doesn’t try to explain anything, he’s never had to justify his methods to anyone and he isn’t about to start, so he kinda destroys Sunny’s relationship with his friends for this. Aubrey pretty much tells hims to go fuck himself and never show his face again, and Omori complies, for the first time feeling something besides apathy towards these friends. He feels hatred, for how they defied him and lived to tell it. But above all, hes concerned, for what this entails.

After all that mess sunnys mom goes to fetch him or smth. Probably Omori ran away from home unintentionally because it’s not like he has to ask anyone before going on adventures.

Anyways, the reason I didn’t write this fic was because I didn’t have a plot in mind, just a few interactions.

The third and last fic goes in the exact opposite direction, being a post-good ending scenario. This is actually an scene I had thought of for that post-good ending fic I talked about some time ago, “don’t you think you’ve caused enough trouble?”

So, the scene starts with Omori exiting the room of pictures (right now I don’t remember how it usually called, the lamp room? Well its the room that replaces sweetheart’s castle), making sure to close the door behind him, more out of habit than anything else, since anyone it’s allowed to visit that room and he doesn’t have anything there to guard… or in general he doesn’t have to guard anything. Since Omori doesn’t have any purpose for the time being, he decides to spend his time exploring the new headspace, while he waits for Sunny to give him a new purpose.

Headspace now it’s a big forest with a natural coloration, with a illumination similar to the crossroads. Right now it looks like it’s evening. While there’s always a sense of melancholy, there’s also a sense that things will finally start to get better. There’s no much of headspace yet. In the distance there can be seen a city, but it’s a part of the scenery still, one cannot reach it. I didn’t get to decide concretely how headspace would have been.

Omori’s exploration would would have centered more about the feel than anything. He walks with a slow pace, rather aimless, though it’s not like he has any rush in reaching anywhere. Without a goal in mind, he decides to find the friends, more out of habit than anything, or so he tells himself, but it’s actually because he feels lonely.

After a while of wandering and describing the scenery, Omori spots the friends talking in the distance and he starts walking towards them. Hero, Kel, Aubrey and Basil are chatting eagerly with each other, about their hopes for the future and stuff like that. Since Omori stands out like a sore thumb, he doesn’t need to get too close for them to notice him. They look in his direction for a moment in silence, and then they resume their talk, ignoring him. Omori, at this, reasons that they’re Sunny’s friends, not his, and that since now Sunny goes around on his own, they don’t have a reason to associate with him anymore. Being the king of repression, he simply goes away, unwilling to admit how hurt he feels, and continues to wander around.

He then decides to go find Sunny, to check on him, he tells himself, but it’s actually because he’s still lonely and Sunny is the only one who would be willing to offer company to him.

So he wander a bit more until he finds a shed or something, I didn’t decide, but the point is that this is a special room, because this is the place Sunny has dedicated to mourn for Mari. Here’s the place where all his feelings of sadness related to the lost of his sister go, so it’s a place with a heavy air around it. Inside, Omori can hear Sunny crying.

It’s still his instinct to shield Sunny from those kind of feelings, so Omori peeks inside this place. Inside there’s Mari’s coffin, and all over the room there are white flowers. Sunny is kneeded in front of it, crying about how much he misses her and stuff like that. Omori doesn’t sense at all that Sunny wants his help, and he reminds himself this isn’t his job anymore. Sunny wants to let himself feel these things, so Omori gently closes the door to not interrupt.

Omori resigns himself to his loneliness and decides to get lost and take a nap somewhere in the forest, until Sunny calls him or anything.

And that’s the scene. A random idea I had, related to this fic, is how Omori acts… I guess this counts more as a post-end headcanon. So, the thing is that Omori’s behavior will change depending on Sunny’s attitude towards himself. Omori is docile when Sunny is alright with himself, Omori mostly acts aloof and doesn’t pay much attention to him. Though, on those days when Sunny is hateful towards himself, Omori will stare at him whenever he goes, and if it’s bad enough, like Sunny thinking about all the reasons why he’s a terrible person, then Omori will become hostile, and even attack on sight, and he won’t stop until Sunny gives himself some slack. It’s a bit of a round-about way of keeping Sunny’s self-hatred in check.

Another thing related, now each of the hs friends has a specific purpose, this is to help Sunny work through his relationship with each of his friends, to process his insecurities and hopes about those and all that. So, for example, hs Kel helps him with his relationship with Kel, hs Basil helps him with his relationship with Basil and so on. They help Sunny untangle all the complicated feelings he has about his friendships and hopefully pave the way towards the day Sunny can call them his friends without guilt.

Well that’s it.

#ideas that i'll never finish or even start

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beccalulu-blog · 1 year

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The 1% Solution

The 1% Solution offers insightful tips on how to become a better version of you. I was able to relate to a lot of the information in the book because it has similar techniques to my everyday meditation that I have been working on, yet it just has different approaches.

Could a person have several turning points throughout their life?… As for me, I feel I’ve had many turning points that made me realize that I need a change and growth. There have been times when I have struggled in feeling as if I wasn’t at my full potential or maybe I wasn’t exactly where I was supposed to be in my life. It wasn’t until recently when I realized my beliefs were influencing my lifestyle. Therefore, I’ve been working on changing the way I do things in my life, as this book says, “1% at a time”. I also learned not to compare myself to anyone but my yesterday self.

I instantly understood the concept of Action = Motivation and how it’s a “self-feeding concept”. I know when I get things done even the smallest thing like fixing my bed in the morning or doing my meditation, I get more accomplished throughout the day. I think what was super helpful was reading “there is no point in doing, which you should not be doing at all”. I do notice I get distracted at times and end up doing things that aren’t conducive to my life. So, what I have done was take a second look at my calendar and changed up my schedule to be more productive and take out what wasn’t important to guiding my success. I realized I need to focus more on effective and efficiency. I set a more reasonable plan, made it less stressful, and focused more on a little at a time.

I really enjoyed and excelled in Physic’s classes in college, so having re-read about Newton’s law was refreshing and helped remind me why I need to keep myself in motion and try my best to not allow any friction or “outside forces” to stop me. Looking at the 80-20 principle in reverse explained leverage in a helpful way. I feel by rearranging my schedule helped with focusing more on the 20% in small actions to create 80% in large results. I also plan to work on getting over my fear of being in front of the camera. I love the idea of being able to “move the world 1% at a time”. I feel I could focus that to helping people create a better lifestyle and helping as many athletes as possible throughout my life.

Chapter 4 titled “Why practice doesn’t make perfect”, is something I’ve always emphasized in my practices. I’ve always taught my players that “perfect practice makes perfect”, and I know “perfect” is a word that is a separate conversation all together, but my goal was always to have them understand that practicing any skill the right way every time helps to not enable bad habits. Thousand’s of hours of practice or anything, for that matter, is pointless, if you aren’t doing it right or, in my case, you aren’t doing what you love. I’ve put in well over 10,000 hours as an engineer in the Navy and was one of the go-to engineers in my department, so in a sense I did master that craft and was great at it, but when I got out and realized I didn’t love it as much anymore. I decided to take a different direction in my life and it’s been a journey. I’ve put in a lot of hours coaching and still know I have a ton of learning to go on becoming a great coach, so I embrace learning as much as possible from other’s. When I first started coaching I realized I had to start from the beginning and work my way up in order to understand all levels of coaching.

Why I love learning?! Understanding how amazing the brain is and that it almost functions like a computer (speaking from the IT side of me), if you only know and understand how to run it and how it’s wired, that changes everything. A while back I started doing meditations and through the process I learned about Dr. Joe Dispenza on YouTube. He talks a lot about the brain, how it works, and how to use it to create your future. It was part of the reason I re-started this class and overcame the fear of it. Part of that is remembering I’m here to learn and I don’t necessarily have to have the answers and that’s okay because I have the ability to learn anything I put my mind to. Chapter 5 in The 1% Solution talks about how when you learn, your brain grows new connections, and it was a highlight for me because I had just watched Dr. Joe Dispenza and he goes into more detail on how that happens and he definitely emphasizes that “the mind can change the body”. It is really insightful information that I feel everyone should access. I guess I’m super nerdy when it comes to the power of the brain, but knowing you have the ability to create your future is something that is changing my life immensely.

Along with the power of re-shaping your brain, it is important to know not only how to recharge your body but also when. Recovery is important for the brain and body, because it’s all made up of muscle in some shape or form. This book helped me understand how not to reach the breaking point which I’ve done a few times in my past, because even though I have the education and training on how to prevent strains and injuries for athletes, I never fully applied it to my brain until over the last year. I have added meditation as a form of recovery over that last month or so and it has helped tremendously. A little background about me, I had a not so good past which Doctor’s diagnosed me with epilepsy, borderline personality disorder, depression, and PTSD. They tried to make me take medications, but I never did. I was always too stubborn to believe that pills would fix any of it. I always felt that I had to figure out a way to get through it all by myself. If I could just find a way to apply my work ethic to getting past the rough times, because that is what I always done in the past. I always worked myself to the point where I would be alright, but in fact what I should have done from the start is the complete opposite - “not doing anything” or “recovery”. The answer has always been right in front of me, because I was always involved in sports and being athletic. If I had only applied the sports recovery aspect to my brain early on, the possibilities - endless, but it’s never too late. I finally started learning about the brain, but also found a self-help tactic that actually works, for me, it’s meditation and learning how to re-shape the brain. Applying the recovery aspect to my life, which I was doing, but not realizing that’s what I was actually doing. Chapter 6 put that into context for me.

Connellan, T. K. (2011). The 1% solution for work and life : how to make your next 30 days the best ever. Peak Performance Press.

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ajcmamaril · 2 years

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Some Technical Writing Principles (which I believe are usually taken for granted)

It’s funny how I tagged this post as best practices since I am not really the best writer in the office, but after teaching Technical Writing (TW for brevity) for nine years and making money from the practice of TW for seven years, I just thought I would want to share some practices from some people who taught me good writing and observations from my and others’ bad writing habits.

And yeah, this is also a note to self of some sorts.

As mentioned in the title, I feel like these practices are taken for granted by some (and by some, I mean a lot!) bosses, employees, and even academicians. Looking back at TW syllabi that I created and/or reviewed have lacked a lot of these things and I feel like those are the things that make every lesson in TW classes coherent. And so, I present you these principles that I should’ve learned earlier on in my life and probably you should’ve too:

1. TAILOR FIT YOUR MESSAGE

Writing is one of the four macro skills in communication and its main goal is to no other than to communicate. That said, it cannot be further underscored that when your reader fails to understand your write up, it is best to check if you have considered your reader’s language, knowledge on the topic, and everything else that may affect the way s/he understands your write up. Note: what you’re writing is NOT ABOUT YOU but ABOUT THE READER. Hence, make sure that the message is easily readable based on the readers’ quirks. Make it easy on your reader, although I will make a very important caution: See item no. 4.

2. DILIGENCE IS THE ACT OF A GOOD EMPLOYEE OF THE COMPANY.

I got this originally from law school where they say “diligence is the act of a good father of a family”. A father ensures that his family’s needs are met everyday. No excuses. Regardless if the father made so much effort or none at all, if he fails to put food on the table, he fails to conduct diligence.

Similarly, in writing, all information that your reader needs for the concern you are discussing in your write up must be available. You should also anticipate the next logical question that your reader may have upon presentation of a particular data. Doing all these constitutes due diligence, and with your write up diligently made, your reader (may it be your boss, or someone else) is allowed to take action on the matter which you have discussed with a lot of confidence because all the factors leading to his decision making is present in your write up. Remember yet again, IT’S ABOUT YOUR READER.

3. MAKE IT EASY ON YOUR READER

TW is meant for academic, corporate, and official communications so most likely, your reader is a decision maker in your organization/group/business/institution/et cetera. Your reader doesn’t have a lot of time in the world because apart from you, s/he still has a lot of write ups to read and decide on. That being the case, make it easy on your reader, and to do that, first, ensure that your language is simple and straightforward. A lot of people are guilty of wanting to make highfaluting essays that make people read the dictionary before reading it up. In this day and age, it is cumbersome. So unless the difficult term you are contemplating on using is the only term that best presents your matter, I would suggest using something else. Of course, consider seeing item no. 4 too, to balance things.

Second, lengthy reports are a thing of the past. The concept of TLDR (Too long; did not read) now exists. Hence, make your write up concise and precise. Beating around the bush annoys people so get it straight. It is best to make a report in simple sentences and fit in one sheet of paper, but of course, we can go longer but only when it is really needed.

4. DO NOT ASSUME THAT YOUR READER IS DUMB, NOR MAKE HIM/HER ONE.

Your reader did not graduate from college or from grad school to be spoon fed. S/he is a leader for a reason and with that reason, your diligence should include determining your reader’s kind of language, his/her quirks, and what s/he already knows about the discussion. Overly doing your work may actually be an insult to your reader’s abilities and it’s best to temper your eagerness to discuss things too much. There’s a line between keeping things simple and making someone feel like s/he is stupid.

5. PROPERLY CITE YOUR SOURCES

Do your reader a favor by allowing him to see where s/he could find your sources. If it came from a website, give the proper Uniform Resource Locator. If it is printed, tell the reader exactly which syndicate published the book where you lifted your notes from. This allows your reader to countercheck your cited items in the write up and at the same time, ensure that the IP rights of the authors who you lifted your notes from are not violated. Remember, releasing your document with plagiarized notes to the public will put you and your reader in an inconvenient call out, or worse, law suits.

6. READ BEFORE YOU WRITE AND BEFORE YOU SUBMIT

This is my problem, to be very honest. My whole work life is governed by deadlines and it I always succumb to the temptation of forgetting self-review prior to submission, in order to make it on time. However, I end up getting my drafts back with a lot of corrections because I failed to see stuff which I inadvertently typed, or that I did not notice some information that should’ve been on the document did not make it to the draft. So my sector head’s constant reminder is: Read Before You Submit. It isn’t so bad proofreading your own work, because after all, if you know your writing standards (grammar, spelling, consistency, tone, etc.), you should present your document in its best form. Submitting documents with errors that are that trivial will just make the writing and editing process a lot slower.

I also cannot emphasize enough the need for us to read a lot. Reading does not just improve our brain juices, substantially speaking. I think it also allows us to get used to the language of the text which we are reading and I think that such is the case because language is something that you don’t just learn through classroom discussions. Most of the time, language is learned by using it. The more we immerse ourselves in the language immersed in its context, the more we learn the language and its all too complicated nuances. So, yes, I suggest we read if we have time to get our mind muscles working.

So, there you have it. These are some things that I/we have to remember as far as TW is concerned. However, if you have some inputs too, please let me know so we can have it included here. I appreciate constructive criticism too but please be kind as I am still not out of my anxiety disorders just yet. Thank you and hope you enjoy your day.

#technical writing #best practices

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atelliernana · 2 years

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Your Heart Eyes and His Ocean Eyes

Bokuto Koutarou x Reader

Reblogs are highly appreciated 🥹

Everything actually sucks. Like a freaking blackhole in space type of sucking. How you manage to subject yourself in morally questionable situations is beyond you. Not only do you have the worst reflexes but it seems that you also have the bad habit of speaking in tongues and the language you’re best at is lying. Well, its not that you intentionally do it but you’re as a tense as a newborn chick and any sign of danger (e.g. people perceiving you and asking how you are) will make you squeak out the whitest of lies.

You hate lying about how you are or what you did last weekend but you just want every interaction to be over. Its not like people would genuinely care that the series your into is now over and never to be renewed or that it actually hurt when they accidentally bumped you back against the wall (not the kabedon “y/n” you were hoping for).

Except they do.

And by “they” you only mean Bokuto Kotaro. Infamous star player of the MSBY Black Jackals. Curator of the now culturally iconic “Hey hey hey” and Bokuto Beam (which he now has copyrights of). Idol of the masses, from young children to the elderly, no one has never heard of him.

And because of how bright his star shines, you’d think he’d be one of those everyday people who’d just passed by but how wrong you were. Because after his tangerine teammate ran into you ,causing your great fall, the first to react is the silver haired man.

As he asked you if you were okay, you were about to nod and just literally shake everything off but his big, large hands (so magnanimous that you needed 3 adjectives to describe it) held you into place.

And as he questioned if you were hurt, you looked into his eyes and found possibly all the sincerity of this world locked inside it - as if the concept of genuiness never existed before him.

And as he took your arm to pull you straight up, you also felt the pull on your heartstrings. As if he’s King Arthur who’d finally pulled the sword from the stone.

And as he asked you once more if you’re okay, the cursed language of your tongue summoned itself and answered for you.

“No” it said.

And how mortified he was you could not forget.

And how in his panic he carried you in his arms and hurried for a car.

And how in his frenzy he skipped practice to accompany you in the hospital.

And how in the guilt on behalf of his lovely orange disciple he gave you his number to call whenever you need help.

3 months later and a couple of coffee receipts in your wallet, you are now in a comfortable relationship with the athlete. A true prince in this shabby world, he has never missed movie meet-ups. Movie genres are not the only thing you share now, coz it between discussing preferred popcorn flavors you both discovered a mutual love for the same music, anime, food and possibly everything in between.

Maybe the only thing you haven’t shared is the romantic feelings that began to bloom as soon as you stared right into his ocean eyes. The very eyes that compelled you to lie the first time you met him just to see him longer. The very lie that has propelled you closer to a star so bright you feel like burning every time you come close.

Well you may not share feelings now but you’re sure he’s starting to feel the same. Why else would he agree to go to every comic event with you? Watch all anime you have recommended and even try restaurants out with you?

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“Koutaro, should i be worried about your little friend?”

“Hmm? Which friend?”

“Y/n”

“Ahh. Of course not! They’re a great friend of mine but nothing more! Is my friendship with them making you uncomfortable?”

“I mean, i don’t mind you having friends but i feel like they see you differently”

“Differently?”

“i don’t know Kou, do they know you’re taken? Coz they might think they have a chance with you.”

“ i really don’t think that’s the case Lovely, we just happen to share the same hobbies. Hmm, if they think i’m still single then that means i’m not showing how much i love you enough. Why don’t i introduce you this weekend, then?”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The vibration from your phone forced your eyes to open. Has he finally messaged you? Its been 5 days since he last message but thats okay, he must have been really busy. You promised not to even view his message, should he message, but what if its an emergency?

From: Ocean Eyes 🥹💜

Hey! Hey! Hey! Y/n, are you free this weekend?

Oh gosh, what will you do? He’s asked you the same question several times now but you’re heart still skips a beat as if its the first time he’s messages you.

What did your fortune cookie said this morning?? Ah! ‘Seize the day and never let a moment pass’

Seize the day. Right. You’ll confess. That’s right, you won’t let another moment pass. This time you’ll make sure not to speak in tongues and be your most genuine self. This time you’ll make sure those ocean eyes will only ever look at you.

So with a speed that beats the speed of light, you hastily typed your reply. TeenVogue texting rules be damned.

Satisfied with the exchange of plans, you closed your eyes once more. Heart at peace and your consciousness gets ready to meet your lovely ocean eyes.

Your naive self in dreamland enjoying a happily-ever-after not knowing that the same ocean eyes you only ever adored are the same ocean eyes to show you what true heartbreak is.

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thegodwithin · 3 years

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hi! im kind of new to law of assumption and old to law of attraction. law of assumption is not a hard concept but im a bit confused. i find myself reacting to the 3D too much and like i find it hard to persist? what do i do to make persisting easier? i think it’s because i don’t know much about what im getting into?? all i know is affirm and persist and etc. i hear things like time is an illusion, the 3D is an illusion, circumstances don’t matter, we are all gods of our reality. but WHERES the proof?? i can’t blindly follow people’s success stories because im not them and if we are truly the gods of our realities, doesn’t that mean someone else can manifest failure in mine? like i want to use law of assumption and i want to believe to get what I want fast and easily BUT i want to know how it works and that im not following a delusion to make myself feel better and in the end, I am just left with disappointment and failed attempts at manifesting that left me with the consequences of my actions. ive been in the community for almost 2 years and i don’t think ive ever gotten results. i am not usually agitated but it’s exhausting. i affirm and persist and nothing shows up and im worried im doing it all wrong so i ask and now I’m even affirming wrong?? I know manifestation is supposed to be easy and not feel like a chore but how can it not when everything I desire is of so much importance to me. I can even dm you, just please help me so I can actually manifest what I want. I’ve done self concept but I keep breaking. I don’t even know what affirmations to use to combat my limiting beliefs. Tbh I’m tired. I feel like if someone explained to me how this works and how to do it with no mistakes and how to keep faith in the unseen, I could actually get what I want. I keep failing and failing because I affirm and persist but I affirm wrong or I have a limiting belief that hasn’t been uncovered yet. I’m so exhausted and I just want to get what I want. I just feel like if someone told me how it works and exactly what to do, I wouldn’t be so confused and find it hard to persist.

Hey, so I just want to say that I really understand you. It’s funny how as I read your ask for the first time it really stood out to me how it was reflecting my current state at that moment so thank you for sending it. I will try my best to answer your questions but I'm still figuring this stuff out myself so I'm also just going to recommend some material that should help. I’ll put all the links at the end of the reply.

I have broken up your ask into several different topics and I’ll be addressing each one separately so please bear with me here.

This is the longest reply I've ever written so the rest is under the cut

law of assumption is not a hard concept but im a bit confused.

i think it’s because i don’t know much about what im getting into?? all i know is affirm and persist and etc.

I just feel like if someone told me how it works and exactly what to do, I wouldn’t be so confused and find it hard to persist.

The first and most important thing I want to say to you is that you should really learn from the source material, which as far as I’m concerned here is Neville Goddard. I know there are other teachers like him but he’s the main source most blogs and youtubers make their content from. And frankly a lot of posts on tumblr seem to really simplify and reduce things to the point where you get to this idea that it’s all just affirming and persisting which I really can’t agree with. That’s a conclusion one can reach after learning this stuff, processing it, experimenting with it and realizing what works best for them. But there are certainly other factors involved in the process, whether the person was aware of them or not. This also goes for youtubers and coaches in general. All these people are speaking based on their own experiences with the law. Through the lenses of their own beliefs, limitations, etc. So it’s only natural that they will sound different from each other and their message and style might not resonate with every person in the same way. Which is why you’re not supposed to just accept everything you hear or read at face value. Apply it, experiment with it and make your own conclusions.

like i want to use law of assumption and i want to believe to get what I want fast and easily BUT i want to know how it works and that im not following a delusion to make myself feel better and in the end, I am just left with disappointment and failed attempts at manifesting that left me with the consequences of my actions. ive been in the community for almost 2 years and i don’t think ive ever gotten results.

Most of us come into contact with the law from a negative situation and looking for a quick fix, and what we end up finding is a whole lot more than we ever bargained for. These teachings challenge everything we have ever known and accepted as absolute unchangeable truths in the world. And we are also dared to accept the responsibility that we were the cause of our entire lives?! It’s a lot to take in. You can’t be one foot in and one foot out. You’re trying to manifest something but you’re not seeing results. If you’re looking for results then you weren’t truly committed to living in the end and you haven’t really changed. You must notice the change within first, before the outside world can reflect that. You just give yourself what you want in your mind, and you keep doing it, day in and day out, with complete disregard for what your outer senses are telling you, until it hardens into a fact.

i find myself reacting to the 3D too much and like i find it hard to persist? what do i do to make persisting easier?

Battling with the 3d can certainly be painful and it just turns into a vicious cycle, because the more attention you pay to something, the more it gets perpetuated in your reality and in your experiences. I’ll be honest with you, sometimes I struggle with this as well. If anything, at least remember to prioritize your feelings at every given moment. If you notice that you’re feeling bad / reacting negatively to the 3d, stop and ask yourself: what do I want? or what do I want to feel?

Usually when I do that my mind automatically shows me the answer and then if I can enter the reality (within me, in my mind with my thoughts and feelings) where those things are true, suddenly that circumstance I was just reacting to doesn’t matter anymore. Because I feel fulfilled within now.

Just start allowing yourself to have what you want, no matter what. Practice putting yourself first, before anything else, before the circumstances around you, before what others might say or do. Even if the 3d looks bad right now, you deserve to feel what you want, you don’t have to keep putting yourself down because you haven’t seen an outside change yet. And the truth is that you won’t see a change if you keep watching the 3d and taking score from it. Because it can only change after you do. Because it’s a reflection of you. Allow yourself to feel that relief and satisfaction, in your imagination, everyday. Make it a habit and little by little you will have changed your mindset, entering a new reality.

Everything in your 3d world is an illusion in the sense that it’s not the truth. And this is because everything that you experience with your senses, in your 3d world is a direct reflection of you. You are everything, and you are everywhere you go and every person you meet. You can only ever experience yourself, nothing else. Nothing exists outside of you. Everything begins and ends with you.

and if we are truly the gods of our realities, doesn’t that mean someone else can manifest failure in mine?

You are God of your own reality. There’s only you in your reality. Nothing else and no one else. So everything and everyone that shows up is under your influence. IN YOUR REALITY. You can’t really access other people’s realities or inner worlds, and likewise they can’t reach yours. Even what you perceive as things outside of you pertaining to other people’s lives and experiences are still coming in through your own lenses, of the concept you have of that person, of the expectations and beliefs you have about them. This is why you shouldn’t bother with anything but yourself. Because it’s a waste of energy. Because everything you will ever perceive will come through you first. You can’t experience anything but yourself, your beliefs and your expectations. If you believe others can influence your reality then you are living from fear and you are giving your power away.

i hear things like time is an illusion, the 3D is an illusion, circumstances don’t matter, we are all gods of our reality. but WHERES the proof??

Instead of trying to manifest things in order to “see proof”, just let things happen and watch yourself during the process. Start really paying attention to what you’re thinking and feeling on a daily basis. Notice that your thoughts and reactions come from a certain state of being. Notice how people act in ways that you expect them to, because “that’s just how they are”.No, it’s because that’s the concept you hold of them in your reality, and they treat you according to the concept you hold of yourself. By doing this you will start to realize the connection between what has shown up in your life so far, and the person you were identifying with within. And when I say identifying with, I don’t mean something like an affirmation such as “I’m confident”. Your identification and basically your self concept comes from your perspective, the way you see things, the way you react to things and the way you act, the thoughts you have and what you accept as true. Those will show you who you really are.

i can’t blindly follow people’s success stories because im not them

The thing with success stories is that as much as they can be motivational, the process and the factors are always the same. They succeeded because they managed to change their mindset, they entered a new reality (within), they changed their dwelling place (the state of being they return to the most) and their outer reality simply reflected that change. Their circumstances are irrelevant and the only thing setting them apart is the techniques they used and how long it took for them to actually shift their mindset and accept the new reality they wanted. Techniques are not really that relevant because they only serve to aid you into moving states. So at this point it’s really just about what works best for you.

i affirm and persist and nothing shows up and im worried im doing it all wrong so i ask and now I’m even affirming wrong??

There’s no such thing as affirming wrong. And please take affirming off the pedestal. It’s just a technique and you don’t need to use it if it’s troubling you. Affirmations are just thoughts you would be having if you were living in the end. So their purpose is only to help make you feel like you are living in the wish fulfilled. There’s no point in affirming all day long if you keep feeling like you’re in the same old shitty reality. Again it’s the same thing I’ve been saying before. You can’t affirm for two opposite things at the same time and get the result you want. Use affirmations as much as you like but watch yourself for the rest of the time.

The reason this isn’t a trying process is because you’re not attempting to do anything to get something. You are simply being in a different way. You are changing your mind, changing your thoughts, choosing better feelings. This is a lifestyle change. If you accept the law, your entire perception changes. Nothing is ever the same as it used to be. This can be a hard pill to swallow but at some point you gotta be honest with yourself. There is no trying. There is only doing and there is only being.

i am not usually agitated but it’s exhausting.

I’m so exhausted and I just want to get what I want

You’re exhausted because you keep going back and forth between what you want and what has shown up. You need to pick one side and stick to it. You need to dive so deep into the feeling of what you want to the point where thinking the opposite feels unnatural. I know you don’t wanna hear this but thinking you’re doing something wrong really is also getting in your way. Think about it this way: you’re in the end goal, you’re there, it’s done, you got it. Would you be thinking about ANY of this stuff if that was the case? Would you be doubting and having all these fears and looking around everyday to make sure it’s still there? We both know you wouldn’t.

You just can’t have it and wonder where it is at the same time. You have to stick to the end goal and reject anything that contradicts that.

I know manifestation is supposed to be easy and not feel like a chore but how can it not when everything I desire is of so much importance to me

People say manifesting is easy and fun because you’re just supposed to satisfy yourself within by giving yourself what you want. If it feels like a chore then you're not giving yourself what you really want. You are focusing on what you think you should be doing and you are also keeping yourself hostage to your unwanted circumstances. If your desires are so important to you then stop putting conditions on them, stop looking for excuses to deny yourself of them. Get drunk in the feeling and the knowing of their fulfilment. Let go of all the doubts and fears, turn your back on your senses telling you it’s not here yet. Be stubborn and stop taking no for an answer.

You’re coming from a place of: I have all these unwanted circumstances and I want to have xyz instead, but no matter what I do, things aren't changing.

If you had xyz by now, would you still be repeating the unwanted circumstances in your head? Would you be thinking about them? Would you be reacting to them? Would you be identifying with this version of yourself that can’t get what you want?

No! You would be living your life, doing the things you enjoy, your duties and responsibilities, resting in the knowledge that you got that desire. It’s a reality now. It’s part of your life. You’d be living from that perspective.

You're keeping the unwanted stuff in place by reaffirming them, by looking at it everyday and going “yep, still here!”, you’re still accepting it as true for you. You can’t keep your attention on something without getting more of it. You need to die to the unwanted reality. Never to be seen again.

I’ve done self concept but I keep breaking.

Self concept is not a technique that you do once a day. Self concept is who you are. It’s how you behave and what you think all the time, every day, all day. It's what you believe and accept as true for you in all aspects. I think this community has been breaking up the law into bits and pieces, as if there are all these separate factors and steps you need to take, and it’s done more damage than good because it’s actually literally all the same thing, it’s all connected. Once you change through the means of one aspect, the other aspects change automatically. Self concept, mental diet, states, it’s all connected, they all lead to the same destination, you. Neville uses these terms interchangeably, to get his point across in the best way he sees fit at that moment, but he’s always talking about the same thing. So bottomline is that if you “keep breaking”, then you’re still in the process of change, you’re going from one state to the other, from unwanted to wanted. Back and forth. You’re still falling for the illusion of the 3d world and you’re still feeling the pull of your old story. You need to take a stand and decide that enough is enough. No longer accept what you don’t want. You’re the only one making the choice here. No one is forcing you to stay in the unwanted mindset but your own habits and comfort zone.

I don’t even know what affirmations to use to combat my limiting beliefs. Tbh I’m tired. I keep failing and failing because I affirm and persist but I affirm wrong or I have a limiting belief that hasn’t been uncovered yet.

Look, there’s nothing to combat here. There’s no war going on. It’s all just you. You don’t have any blocks or limiting beliefs you need to overpower. This isn’t a good perspective to hold. You ARE the power. I fought these types of statements for a long time but I can understand it now. You need to stop focusing on limiting beliefs or blocks. Stop thinking AND believing that you have problems that are getting in your way and that you need to overcome them. By holding this perspective, you’re only going to create more problems to overcome. Remember what I’ve been saying that you’re in the end now? Are there any blocks in the end? When the wish is fulfilled? I don’t think so and neither do you! I want you to take the challenge to declare to yourself that you no longer have any limitations. It’s all gone! You’re free now! I want you to wake up everyday and before you get out of bed, you remind yourself that hey, all that stuff is gone now! Nothing to worry about anymore! How good is that?!

I feel like if someone explained to me how this works and how to do it with no mistakes and how to keep faith in the unseen, I could actually get what I want.

You keep the faith in the unseen by believing and trusting in yourself. If you accept that you can do anything, that you deserve what you want, that you are the operant power and that everything is coming FROM you, then you know all you need is yourself. Idk it truly is a leap of faith, you need to make a choice. Do you want to live by what is outside of you, or by what’s within you? If you accept the law as true, then you have no choice but to start living by what’s within you. If you’re still sitting there thinking that your world is ruled by the circumstances outside of you then you don’t believe a tiny bit in any of this stuff. You’re truly wasting your time if you hold that perspective in place.

Okay I hope this whole essay I spent hours on helps! Now let’s get you those recs!

You can read most if not all of Neville's work for free here: https://realneville.com/

These are my current favorite Neville Based Teachers:

I am Love / Feeling Twisty (he's also on apple podcasts and spotify I believe)

Here's my own personal playlist of Neville based videos on youtube

There's a LOT of good stuff on reddit tbh, here's pretty much everything I have saved from there:

(ps.: it's good to check the comments on reddit posts because there's usually discussions happening and you can find some good pointers)

EdwardArtSupplyHands Series / Quote

ALLISMIND:

Feelings are your power

How thoughts and beliefs become reality

Overthinking

Superman's way of life

Thinking positive

Living from the Law

There's no reality

You don't believe in the Law

Nothing will change your mind

(ps.: he has A LOT of content, these are just the few I looked into)

Other posts:

Change your mind

It's Real. Success Story

Decide what you want

Self concept and personality

Self concept and self love

Letting go of control

Don't rationalize it

The state of the wish fulfilled

Checkmate 3D

Planting the seeds

Don't react

Faith and Knowledge

Slacker Manifesting

Persistence assumption

Don't complicate it

All you need is reassurance

Brazen Impudence

Manifesting is easy

Practical guide

Why circumstances don't matter

Commit to your desire

Ignore the Outside

Clarifying the Law for beginners

(ps.: These aren't 100% accurate tittles, just based on the actual tittles)

#law of assumption #neville goddard #answered asks #o #tag

150 notes · View notes

wh6res · 3 years

Text

dreams come true | yuta

"soulmate or not. i don't shoot blanks." — ny

[ part of the my bloody valentine collection ]

tw. gore, blood, murder, death, killings, mentions of illegal organ trafficking, violence, mentions of stalking, minor character deaths, weapons (a knife and a gun), almost (??) suggestive content but nothing happened

disc. this is rlly fucked up and yuta is unredeemable. i dont condone such acts. this is all a work of fiction and meant to entertain.

wc. 5k

every time you sleep, the void is sickening. it was all you could see, lightyears and lightyears away of pitch black that made your head dizzy and your stomach dry heave. you've always wondered when you'll start dreaming about your soulmate's memories. they were like little secrets, another way for two people to be intimate without even being together. their days were flashing before their soulmate's eyes in the form of a dream. it's as if you spent the day with them!

you loved it, the whole concept of it. it sounded so wholesome and sweet and jesus fucking christ, you've always been such a hopeless romantic.

it was sweet until it turned sour. you loved it until you hated it. it was romantic until it turned downright terrifying.

you wake up covered in cold sweat, panting and gasping as if you've run a whole marathon.

moonlight seeps through your glass window, slightly left ajar for the midnight breeze to pass through – you walk up to it, pull it shut, and draw your thick curtains together. you exhaled, breath shaking as you tried to anchor yourself back to the ground.

with the only source of your light disappearing, darkness envelops you whole. for once, you craved the void. you want that void back if it meant never seeing something like that again – something straight out of your worst nightmare.

"119, what's your emergency?"

"uhm, i think… i think i just witnessed a massacre."

you reiterate everything you saw in the dream – the mahogany door, paint chipping off the drywalls. the doorknob was rusty, so were the hinges, and it made an ominous creak when pushed open. the light switches on, the first you see was a bunch of dirty ice coolers in what should've been the living room, it wasn't even the slightest bit organized. they were everywhere, and the floor looked grimy and disgusting, like there's a stain they can't seem to scrub off. only when your soulmate has stalked closer did you see the labels haphazardly taped on top of the ice coolers.

kidneys. livers. lungs. pancreas. intestines – you nearly vomited on the floor, trying to relay everything you saw to the operator on the other end of the call.

then came the gruesome parts.

their deaths.

they were five people in total. men clad in cheap t-shirts and pants, wearing all these similar leather jackets. some were well-built, ripped in the arms and thighs, but some were skinny, the jackets hanging on their small frames.

they never stood a chance against him.

your soulmate is agile, quick on his feet with outstanding eye-hand coordination. only equipped with a butcher's knife, but it was all he needed to take them down and send them knocking on inferno's gates. he was skilled, knowing when to pounce and where to slash his knife to maim but never to kill. by the time your soulmate was through with them, everything is bloody red. all the victims' eyes widened as they sputtered and choked on their blood – not dead, but dying...

because your soulmate wasn't done yet.

a killer should have a modus operandi, should they not? so he took out a desert eagle, stood before the bleeding bodies, and shot two bullets straight into their eyes. the finishing touch? carving a frown on their faces with his butcher's knife.

the operator only told you one thing after she's made you describe the place for them to track the crime scene down.

"double-check all your windows and doors."

because you couldn't be too sure, not when you have been granted a front seat to the sad face slayer's most recent endeavors.

the detective eyes you with a certain pity. maybe that's why you don't bother meeting his eyes. you sit still on a chair, camera blinking red behind him, the interrogation room is freezing even with the thick jacket you're wearing.

seven billion people in the world and you're soulmate's a ruthless serial killer who took it upon himself to purge the world of evildoers – he was playing god, no wonder the detective is looking at you like that.

"uhh…" he's awkward, fidgeting in his seat. "and you saw this all in a dream?"

"yes."

you've known him only minutes ago. mark lee was his name and he seems to be a subordinate of a higher, more experienced detective named kim doyoung. you don't know whether to feel offended or not for having a doe-eyed newbie taking care of the case, but you pushed it at the back of your mind, knowing his superior is watching on the other side of the two-way mirror.

"did you have, like, other past instances where you dreamt of him? of what he…" mark looked like he was going to throw up. "what he does to his other victims?"

you shook your head. no. "i've mostly just heard of him on the news. i don't think i have the stomach to find out in-depth what the killer does."

mark takes out a folder, features walking the fine white line between looking apologetic or wanting to say me too. "i'm, uhh, really sorry to hear that."

there's a sudden pregnant silence encapsulating the interrogation room. it felt like you were mourning for something, the chains of dread dragging your heart to the ground as it pounded against your ribcage. mark looked like he wanted to say something, but you swore his eyes darted towards the camera in the corner and decided otherwise.

"anyway…" he trails. flipping the folder open in one swift motion. "past sightings have given us the sad face slayer's name."

he slaps down a picture of a man, his hair raven and a permanent scowl etched on his face. the quality was shitty. it looked like it was a screenshot taken from zoomed-in cctv footage.

"nakamoto yuta, twenty-five, japanese, and has slipped one too many times past authorities that at this point, it's practically a talent."

and just like that, it made sense why you're here.

your lips pursed in contemplation, palms quaking as your fingers reach forward to inspect your soulmate's picture. "and… you want to use my soulmate connection –" you glowered. never had a sentence sounded so fucking cursed and utterly wrong. "– to catch him?"

mark can't look you in the eye. "yes. he's very elusive. his killings have been happening cross-country and, as you can see, have garnered national media attention. the police are hanging by a thread here. a month in his case and all we got is his MO, name, and that he has this weird god complex on him. if we can't catch him by the end of next month…" he shrugs. "the feds are going to interfere, sooner or later."

"so…" you trail, urging him to continue.

"so, we need as much information about him as we can get and your dreams about him will be able to provide that."

fucking great.

the much newer revelations of precisely who it was on the other end of the soulmate connection put a significant damper on your mood. you'd like to think your new little cop buddy who follows you around gives you the least bit sense of security, but alas, it doesn't. not when you've seen first hand how yuta took down five men all at once without breaking a fucking sweat – you absolutely refuse to call him your soulmate, you'd never accept a person with his nature as a soulmate.

you try to hide the bracelet mark handed you last two weeks ago, during your time spent in the precinct's interrogation room.

"please have this on you at all times until we catch him, okay? this is for extra measures, just in case something happens to the cop assigned to guard you. just press the little button here and we'll be there before you can even finish shouting 'help!' – hey, i was just kidding! what's with the face?"

considering you're now probably being hunted alive for snitching on a serial killer? mark lee, that was not funny at all.

"do you have to get inside the lecture with me?" you whine, shielding your face with your hair when you notice people shooting glances at the rather handsome cop they assigned to you. "it's not like he'll attack in broad daylight! and in a fucking classroom, for that matter."

jaehyun looks just about ready to hurl you out the window. "lower down your voice," he scolds. "serial killers don't pick a time and place, sweetheart. he kills when necessary and if it's fucking necessary to murder everyone in that classroom to get to you? he'll do it in a fucking heartbeat."

you sigh when the chair next to you screeches against the floor, the aforementioned male taking his seat right next to you. jaehyun felt more like a babysitter than a cop, who seems to have a habit of constantly inputting his not-even-needed opinions on the most superficial things.

are witness protection protocols like this?

it was a good thing that overgrown bat doesn't come hanging around in your apartment, but he does have the police car parked right across the building's entrance. judging by how meticulous and thorough he seems to be, he won't miss any face that comes in and out of the building.

you didn't forget exactly why you're under witness protection. for the cops to waste one good officer to follow you around, you needed to be valuable and being valuable meant sleeping through nightmare-induced dreams of what your soulmate does for a living. the scenes are so gruesome, so graphic and utterly gory, that you dart towards the bathroom first thing after waking up in cold sweat, draining all of dinner down the toilet bowl.

after dreaming of him in action a few times, you've now completely understood what detective lee had said regarding yuta's god complex. it was unsightly, yet there was a twisted sense of heroism to it. if there's one thing, he only gutted the bad guys – but that didn't make nakamoto yuta any less of a bad guy, himself.

i need to ask you a favor [sent 2:05am]

JJH: what? [received 2:10am]

often the nightmares were too much. too much that you thought of escaping its horrors by never getting a wink of sleep ever again – until you realized you're a witness and is probably the only chance for the seoul police department to catch that bastard.

buy me sleeping pills? [read 2:08am]

when you peep out of the window, you find an empty spot across the road where jaehyun usually parks the police car. twenty minutes later, you answer the knocking on your door. he used that little "code" he did for you to know it was him. jaehyun was glowering and muttering about how he wasn't some errand boy when he shoved the plastic bottle in your hand yet, you still thanked him nonetheless.

the pills worked like a charm. you managed to stay asleep throughout the whole night, ceasing those episodes of yours where you jolt awake in the middle of dreaming about the sad face slayer's memories.

life continued for you. it became a little bearable, but that didn't mean the horrific murders you see in your dreams are something you can get used to – you don't think you'll ever get used to the sight of him slashing his victims, the blood trickling like a goddamned waterfall.

today the dreams were different. anticlimactic, per se, if you compare it to the violence so utterly present in his memories.

the first you see were black gates, then it shifted to him ordering coffee in a café (amazing what a simple black mask can hide). it switched to him walking on a sidewalk, then he arrives at his destination, an apartment building – it wasn't too rundown, nor was it extravagant.

the serial killer takes the elevator and walks up to a mahogany door –

your room number is a blaring sight.

you couldn't be wrong, not when the 506 with the missing zero in the middle was a sight you saw every day, going and coming home from university.

that was your front door.

he was at your front door.

you jolt awake, ignoring the icky feel of sweat making your clothes cling onto your skin. ice creeps up your spine and freezes you over when you notice with a sinking realization.

those black gates are from the university you attended. that café is your favorite study nook. and that sidewalk is a route you take every day.

you clamp your hands on your mouth as tears roll down your cheeks in rivulets. you pull the comforters up above your head, fear gripping onto you with a vice-like grip as you sob.

it was in the dead of night, moonlight grazing the confines of your room and hours away from dusk. you finally utter those three words in a frightened whisper.

"he's stalking me."

as if having the overgrown bat jaehyun following and annoying you around wasn't enough, you now have another person keeping watch over you. mark lee, unlike jaehyun, may not be as ripped with muscle, but you heard from your cop buddy that the young detective has a few black belts under him. people at the precinct said that if they have to choose one person who can ever come close to the sad face slayer's agility, mark lee's your guy.

"you gotta be shitting me," you mutter, leaning close to jaehyun to whisper like high school girls talking about gossip. "he doesn't look the type!"

jaehyun, in turn, plays along and copies you. "yeah, true. he gets that a lot, i think,"

"guys, i'm literally in the back seat. i can hear everything."

the change hadn't been too drastic. at least mark was there when jaehyun proved to be difficult, pulling him towards the other way when the older male tried waltzing into your class again. "you don't need to sit next to her in her class! are you serious? there's one exit and entrance and we're on the fifth floor. breaking into that classroom will be the end of nakamoto's serial killer career!"

you shoot mark an appreciative smile, one he quickly returned before hauling jaehyun around the hallway. "we'll just be at the canteen, okay? press the 'lil button on your bracelet and we'll be right there!"

shaking your head with a slight smile on your face, you entered the classroom, sat in your usual spot, and did some of your readings from our other class to kill time. you hardly hear the screech of the chair next to you as it was pulled back. not like you cared much for whoever sat down next to you, but you can't deny there's that feeling of missing jaehyun when he used to force his way into the lecture.

"settle down! settle down, people!"

the professor enters and the class begins.

you were meticulous with your note-taking system. it's thorough, leaving no room for information to slip you. having already printed hard copies of the powerpoint presentation and simply jotting down some extra key points mentioned by your professor.

you were just about to raise your hand for a question when you feel something warm graze past your arm. you absentmindedly look down.

the breath is sucked right out of your lungs.

hi, soulmate

there, scribbled with an ominous red crayon on a small piece of paper. it was almost laughable how innocent it looked but when you follow the ring-clad hand, up the black hoodie he's wearing, and finally to his face—

"hi! i'm yuta."

his cheshire smile spikes up your heartbeat. it makes you want to throw up, makes you want to slam your head against the desk. the fight or flight hormone you have is making you restless, eyes pinned on the serial killer sitting next to you, scared that if you avert your gaze, he's going to take out that desert eagle and shoot you until your skull caves in and the bullets in his magazine empties.

"but judging by your reaction, i don't think introductions are needed, hm?" his tone is easy, conversational even and it shoots a freezing jolt of fear right up your spine. it makes you sweat profusely because you don't fucking know what to do, your thoughts in complete and utter disarray.

"just press the little button here and we'll be there before you can even finish shouting 'help!' – hey, i was just kidding! what's with the face?" you swallow, sneakily pressing the button without breaking eye contact with the serial killer sitting in front of you.

"look upfront. now." yuta orders and you nearly snap your neck as you turn your head with lightning speed.

"i thought i was above the soulmate rules, but here we are. my soul is either too tainted or too great to be tied to such trivial things, but oh well, we learn to work with what we have. surprisingly, i learned to like dreaming about how your day went."

you feel something sharp poking at your thigh and when you look down, he has a silver butterfly knife pointed against you. the precision of the angle he held it with doesn't slip your notice. one slice of that knife, no matter how small, and he'll be spilling your guts in this classroom.

a fat tear rolls down your face.

"can you imagine how much my heart broke when i learned you were spying on me? leaking information to that snobby detective? to those incompetent cops? bad baby, that was very bad of you."

"yuta—"

"you think the cops can save you from me?"

his other hand comes in contact with the nape of your neck, holding your head in place as he leaned down to invade your space. he scoffs, and you can picture that terrifying cheshire grin you've seen one too many times in your dreams.

the knife digs through your coat, the tip hardly poking your skin only because he doesn't want to drive it into you yet. how did he even manage to get inside the university? not to mention the weapons he possessed? shouldn't anyone be suspicious when they see a man dressed in all black, clad in jeans and a hoodie, into a university—

he even dressed the part. with that hood drawn up and carrying that one notebook, he looked fairly normal. someone who can easily blend in with the crowd.

you eye your professor, willing him to look at you but your soulmate is having none of that. you squirm when he drives the knife further, at the base of your stomach. with his other hand, he twirls a lock of hair around his finger. "now, now, soulmate. you don't want half the people here to get hurt, do you? unless... that can easily be arranged—"

"no!" you whisper, head jerking to the side to look at him humming in satisfaction. damn. out of all the faces he's seen contorted with fear, yours is his absolute favorite. with those pleading, glassy eyes and parted lips, yuta is tenting in his sweats.

"thought so," he chuckles. "let's get up. we're leaving. that old crook doesn't care if students just up and went in the middle of his lecture."

you don't want to think about how he even knew that because it implied attending the lectures a good amount of times. it's with sinking realization that jaehyun was right. if it weren't for him insisting to sit next to you, nakamoto yuta would've long gotten you in his claws.

you tried gathering your things until he purred into your ear.

"ah, ah, ah. you wouldn't be needing those with where we're going."

the hallways were empty, not that you had much time to scream for help when he had a knife pointed up your back, shoving you into the fire escape stairs. within the tranquil confines of the staircases, the sad face slayer couldn't fucking care less for your personal space.

he disgusts you greatly, he needn't do anything but stand there in front of you but you can already smell the long blood trail from his path. it reeks of rotting flesh and that infuriating god complex he had left a sour aftertaste.

"you know, i genuinely wanted to get to know you," yuta pouts, shaking the hoodie off his head. his hair raven, it's ends kissing the nape of his neck. he looked like he came right out of a shounen manga but the bloodlust in his eyes is something that can never be masked. "i detested the soulmate connection at first, i thought i should just kill you off because you could be my loose end."

his humorless smile is enough to give you nightmares.

"but seeing how sweetly normal and untainted you are made me hold back," the butterfly knife appears before your line of sight, yuta teasingly dragging the tip right down your cheek to trace your tears. "so, why did you snitch, baby?"

you shiver when he noses the side of your neck, inhaling your scent as his other hand hooks underneath your top, freezing fingers making you jolt. when you don't reply, his patience starts to dwindle. then again, he was never a patient man.

"answer me, you bitch. why did you rat me out?" gone is the playful lilt in his voice. the vibrations surge through you as his deep, demanding voice scares you shitless.

you feel, hear, and smell him everywhere. this wasn't like any nightmare. this is real, and you won't magically wake up on your bed, sighing in relief, knowing he isn't there, that it was all just in your head. no, this was very much real and there's absolutely no escape.

"i didn't," your voice cracks. "i didn't mean to—"

"bullshit!" he yells. you wail in pain when he slams you against the wall, head aching as it came in contact with concrete. "because of you betraying me, i nearly fucking got caught, and i never get caught!"

you were full out sobbing at this point, noisy and unsightly as the snot mixes with your tears. your only hope now is he gives you a quick, painless death and that he doesn't carve and mutilate your face like what he always does to his other poor victims. "i'm sorry! please... i'm so sorry. i was scared—"

he coos mockingly, tilting his head to the side as he inched his face closer. "aw, scared? my sweet little soulmate was scared?" he places the blade flat against your neck. as humiliating and degrading as it was, you almost peed on your clothes. "how about now? i'm sure as hell that you're fucking terrified for your useless life right now."

you cringe when his hand abandons the expanse of your stomach, no longer inching higher, finding its purchase on the hair sitting at the crown of your head. he holds you in place like that, forcing your head parallel against the wall, with his whole body pressing up to you that it's nearly suffocating.

"just one quick little slice," he taunts. you hiccuped when you feel the feathery light scrape of the blade moving against your skin. "you won't even have time to scream… but i'm sure we don't want that, do we?"

you forgot how to speak. forgot how to breathe. whenever your mind wanders, you've always thought about how you'll give this killer a piece of your mind, with the amount of fear and sorrow he inflicts upon other people. but you guess realities were a lot more different than expectations. the yuta you dreamed of meeting is in handcuffs, but fate is a fickle little thing.

"do we?" he repeats, slicing ever so slightly at your skin. enough to draw blood in droplets, never a waterfall.

"n – no."

he smiles. "you can make it up to me. do you want to make it up to me?"

the butterfly knife digs even further. a warning. and if you value your useless life, you should be smart enough to know what to answer. drawing a shaky breath, you tried forcing the ends of your lips up to a smile. "of course, yuta."

your voice breaks as your sobbing grips your body whole. the fear consuming your entire being like a parasite consuming the host. you would've shut down altogether if it weren't for the calloused hands gently gripping your face. "i know, i know. i see how regretful you are, baby. don't worry, i won't hurt you. you'll make it up to me."

anyone would be fucking stupid if you believe those words coming from a serial killer.

in your wrecked state, you barely register that he's pushing you down to your knees. skin coming in contact with the freezing linoleum floor as you refuse to look at what his hands are doing. yuta has pocketed his knife. the sound of a belt unbuckling in itself added insult to injury.

you stare blankly at his shoes as he shoves his bottoms down enough for his cock to show. if you squint hard enough, you'll see tiny splatters of blood in the shoelaces. whether or not he feels you're unresponsive, he doesn't show. maybe he doesn't care entirely. he takes one of your hands and used it to wrap around himself. he gasps, sharp, followed by a hiss.

you feel it throbbing and it strengthens the disgust you feel. no way you're going to give him the satisfaction of eye contact when you're already forced to blow this psycho.

"eyes up."

you sniffled, vulnerability present in the tone you speak. "i don't want to. please, don't make me."

if words alone aren't enough for you to follow orders, maybe you'll feel more motivated if held at gunpoint. it's unmistakable, the infamous desert eagle you've only seen in your nightmares. the last thing you ever expected is to be on the side where the bullet comes out.

the barrel is freezing as he digs it into the crown of your head. "soulmate or not. i don't shoot blanks."

your eyes looked up then. glaring as the tears rolled down your face. "you're a monster," you mutter under your breath. where you got the confidence to fight back is unknown.

"i've heard that before, be more creative next time," he holds your hair tight in one grip, shoving you forward, eye-level to his throbbing dick. "now… suck, baby."

"freeze!"

you knew that voice, you've been hearing it for the last two weeks. "jaehyun–!"

yuta cuts you off, shoving the gun into your mouth. the safety clicking off resonating in the tranquil room. it's deafening, and it makes you immobile.

"hands up. step away from the civilian." whether or not mark is nervous as he points the gun at the serial killer, he's doing a damn good job of hiding it.

yuta sighs, exasperated as he throws his head back. his raised arms came down to tuck himself back in his jeans, and the action made jaehyun's calm exterior crack. "i said, hands up, asshole!"

"chill out, motherfucker. i'm just trying to wear my pants." the serial killer hisses, glaring at jaehyun over his shoulder.

"mark, call back up already. what are you doing?" jaehyun mutters, side-eyeing the young detective whose gun shakes as he holds it up. the taller cop takes a step forward, eyes never leaving the notorious killer as he addresses you curtly. "(name), come here."

just as you plant your palms to the ground to push yourself up, one of yuta's hands shoves you down quick as lightning. "no. she stays here, with me."

jaehyun scowls, takes another step forward. "and what makes you think i'm going to let that happen?"

"i don't think. i know."

there's a constant ring in your ear as the gunshot temporarily renders you deaf. you've shut your eyes in utter fright, hands shooting up to cover your ears but it was too late. you refuse to open your eyes, you didn't want to see a dead body lying before you, even if it belonged to a heartless serial killer.

but when your eyes fluttered open, it's not yuta bleeding out on the ground.

"no, this can't be – jaehyun!"

it was a bullet straight to the head, no one could've survived a shot like that. his eyes are empty as he stares at you, unblinking, stoic. the color is yet to drown away from his milky complexion. but you can't even manipulate yourself into thinking that jaehyun's still alive. not when his eyes are empty, not when he just looks so lifeless.

it couldn't have been yuta who pulled the trigger.

his weapons were on the ground and the shot rang too fast. the sad face slayer couldn't have crouched down for his gun to shoot the cop, it would've taken too much time. and among the three men, there's only another person holding a weapon, and that was –

"great shot, mark."

the detective smiles, but with the blood splattered on his face, it looked cold. "told ya i've been practicing."

yuta hauls you up by the arms, addicted to how frail your body feels as it collapses against him. he's finally got his little soulmate in his arms. and he will never, ever let you go.

the cops lost – you've lost.

yuta, with a sense of victory coursing through his veins, took the liberty of trailing little pecks down your neck as he mutters, "mine, mine, mine!" but you couldn't care less about his display of mocked affection. not when the other person meant to protect you, turned out to be everything you think he wasn't.

mark must've felt the gravity of your stare as he crouches before jaehyun's bleeding body. grabbing the fallen cop's gun, he took it upon himself to empty the magazine. the lopsided grin he sends you broke your resolve more than yuta ever could.

"i'm sorry. it's nothing personal."

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burning-omen · 3 years

Text

Mutations and pleasure headcanons

Characters: Kurt Wagner, Scott Summers, Warren Worthington III, Peter Maximoff

Warning ⚠️: N*fw

Kurt Wagner:

It’s not part of his mutation but it’s worth mentioning, he’s flexible. To the point that it might be unreasonable.

He can fold himself into so many goddamn position and he’s strong enough to hold them for however long he needs to

Anyways, he has 100% just disappeared durning sex.

One moment your railing him into the mattress the next the entire room is covered in blue smoke and Kurt is nowhere to be seen.

About 10 seconds later he’s back with an extremely flustered look in his face.

Before you could question him about where he went he told you he was going to bed. He climbed in next to you and faced the wall for the rest of the night

The next morning he practically begged you to forget that it happened but to also say away from Logan for a few days.

And that’s how you figured out where he landed.

Your avoidance didn’t last long because at some point the next day you ran into Logan, who just let out a long sigh before patting you on the shoulder and walking away.

A few days later Kurt’s over it, just a freak accident, right?

Nope, happened again the next time you had sex with him.

After this kept happening he, begrudgingly, went and asked for help from no other than Logan!

The conversation was basically “hey Logan you fuck a lot right? Can you help me with my sex-teleporting problem?”

And he did, pretty much told him he just needed to be more in the moment mentally so his body wouldn’t take him out of it physically. (whatever that fuck that mean)

After he re-figured out how to stop teleporting spontaneously he decided to use this to his advantage.

I would like to introduce you all to a concept that I like to call “teleportation as a form a teasing”

Intentional teasing wasn’t one of Kurt’s strong suits so he figured that it might help

The first time it happened you were not prepared at all.

You were watching tv, as one does, your mind wandering off as some show played.

Then BOOM

There’s Kurt, looking determined but you could see he was nervous.

Carefully he climbed into your lap, staring down at you for a moment then leaning down, pressing a quick kiss on your lips, he kept going, kissing you over and over again.

He grinds himself against your thigh, groaning softly as sped up. The fabric of his underwear somehow hits every nerve just right.

You watched him as you gently kissing his neck and the bit of exposed chest just above the collar of his shirt.

“You’re bold today, sweetheart.”

“I-i know.”

And just like that, he was gone. A cloud of blue smoke left behind.

You knew this was different from the other times he’d disappeared, then he’d been so absorbed in pleasure that he just POOFED away. This was different, you barely even started, you hardly even touched him and he was gone. And even if it was an accident, he told you he had that under control now.

You just hoped that he hadn’t lied to you.

A few minutes later you wandered into Kurt's room, watching him from the doorway as he frantically arranged and rearranged the things on his desk. A nervous habit of his.

He tries his hardest not to look over at you, focusing incredibly hard on all the stuff on his desk.

He refused to look up even when he heard you close and lock the door, or when you walked up behind him, pressing your body against his as you wrapped your arms around him.

“Kurt..”

“...”

“I know you can hear me sweetheart, you wanna tell me what happened earlier?”

“Nothing..”

“Really? Nothing? Didn’t feel like nothing..”

Feel a little bad for him, he doesn’t know how to tease correctly.

You’re going to have to make him admit to attempting to tease you through the ultimate means of fucking him into the mattress until he’s seeing stars.

Scott Summers:

And now, a list of things you couldn’t do with Scott before he got some semi-permanent glasses:

Roughly fuck his face, because if you did and you knocked his glasses off you’d, at the very, very least, have your entire dick cut off.

Fucking him too hard. Period. It sounds fun but who’s going to pay for the holes in the ceiling or continuously replace your mattress when giant holes are inevitably burned into him?

So if he doesn’t have some semi-permanent glasses by the time you two start having sex everything’s going to be extremely soft and gentle

But the moment he shows you the new glasses it’s over for him.

He’s getting railed on/in/against everything you could think of, because you can do that now without bodily harm or thousands of dollars worth of property damage.

Have y’all been caught having sex in a place y’all shouldn’t be? Yes.

Do you give a flying fuck? No!

No Scott can’t do anything on his own the next day because moving hurts but hey, he had fun.

Warren Worthington III:

Hey Siri, define wing kink

For y’all’s that don’t know “Wing Kink is a related trope which often appears in wingfic (or in fanworks where a canonical character has wings), in which the character's wings are an erogenous zone and caressing them produces pleasurable feelings.” - the fanlore wiki

His wings, when you first started having sex with him, were completely off limits.

He made that undeniably clear to you.

Not because he didn’t like having them touched, but more because he didn’t think you’d like touching them.

All of that went straight out the window a few months later.

He was drunk, which had recently stopped being a normal occurrence for him. He tries to break out of his alcoholism, but it’s a slow and painful process. Instead of just outright stopping all at once he decided it would be better for him to just slow down. It works, he’s not drunk every minute of every day anymore so that’s better. He’ll drink on the weekends, and maybe take a shot before bed but other than that he won’t drink too much. But tonight he was drinking with Logan and in his attempts to keep up with him he’d ended up drunk out of his mind.

He cut himself off, he knew that if he drank more he’d blackout and he didn’t know what he’d do if he did.

So he stumbled all the way back to your room and tripped on literal air.

The sound of him hitting the floor woke you up.

Sitting up you saw Warren laying face down on the floor, giggling like a fool as he made multiple attempts to get up only to end up right back on the floor.

“Warren, it’s 3 in the morning, come lay down.”

You wanted to go over and pick him up. But you knew how he was about his wings and being touched in general.

After a few minutes of coaxing and encouraging him to get into bed he finally did.

Basically plopping down on top of you with a tired grin spread across his face

Burying his face in your chest, he closed his eyes.

After a few minutes you thought he was asleep, but you were proven wrong when he let out a long sigh and looked up at you.

“Fucking hold me..”

No, he doesn’t know how to ask for things nicely he’s a little bastard

You try and avoid his wings at first, gently draping your arms around his shoulders.

But that very quickly frustrated Warren, causing him to grab your arms and forces them around him and his wings.

Before you could try and say anything about it you could hear him snoring.

You sighed, deciding to deal with the breakage of limits could be talked about in the morning.

When you woke up Warren was already awake, still laying on your chest, just staring at you. His cheeks turned a light pinkish color when you looked down at him.

He wouldn’t say anything. He just stared at you for a solid 10 minutes before rolling over onto the other side of the bed.

He’s afraid that in his drunken state he’d made you uncomfortable, which led him to the never ending spiral of anxiety that made him say his wings were off limits in the first place.

Asking him what was wrong just led to him apologizing without actually saying what for.

Throughout the rest of the day he avoided the subject which made him ultimately avoid you.

You see? This is why you should talk to your partners, guys.

It took him awhile but he eventually said what he needed to say.

NOW ONTO THE SEXY BITS

Lightly running your finger through his lower feathers can be a way to get him in The Mood or to calm him down after a particularly rough sex (it helps with his sub drop)

This ones a bit more romantic but kiss his wings, especially the little part where they connect to his back.

He’ll melt, just straight up die on the spot because it’s just so nice and soft and feels so good.

Try not to be to rough with them, it hurts a fuck ton.

His wings are still off limits in certain aspects.

No using them to overstimulate him, he doesn’t like it. No pulling on his feathers, it hurts in the Not Good way.

But do kiss, massage, pet, and run your fingers through them.

He was very nervous when he first let you touch them, unintentionally flinching away when you reached for them.

Run your hands through his feathers while he rides you, he won’t last very long if you do.

praise him and call them beautiful, it took him a long time for him to learn to love himself and his mutation and he needs to be reassured sometimes

STILL BE CAREFUL

HIS WINGS ARE PRECIOUS AND MORE PRONE TO BAD PAIN THAN ANY OTHER PART OF HIS BODY

Just be careful with him stg I love him so much

Peter Maximoff:

Zoom zoom bitch

He fast

He has the nicest ass because of how much he runs

He can and will grab you and take you back to his room if he’s feeling especially needy.

And then he’ll act extremely bratty despite the fact that he brought you there.

He vibrates.

Most of the time unintentionally.

It’s his version of shaking, so he definitely does it when he cums

“Peter, what the fuck are you doing?”

“Just...give me a moment..”

He’s gotten too eager before and fallen off the bed while trying to change position.

When I say this man gives the best blowjobs in the history of blowjobs I mean it

His tongue vibrates too. That added with the fact that he has no gag reflex AND no shame? Rip

Quickies, anywhere anytime.

Cameras can be covered in less than a second and he can have both of you looking relatively decent before anyone comes in.

You have to guide him while he rides/fucks himself onto you because he might hurt you or himself by going too fast.

He’s not aloud to use his speed when given sexual orders

Usually after being punished he’s much more shy and nervous.

Making him do things slowly only adds to that.

Make him get on his knees in front of you? Gone, he’s so blushy and embarrassed at just being in that position.

Make him strip and prep himself while you watch? Ceases to exist

Will beg and cry for you to let him speed up, but he’s just putting on a show.

Grinding against pillows or folded blankets with some kind of plug up his ass is his preferred method of masturbation because he can go as fast as he wants without worry.

He’s ripped holes in a few blankets and pillows and has very unsuccessfully hidden.

“So are we not going to talk about the hole in my brand new blank?”

“No we are not.”

#kurt wagner #scott summers #warren worthington iii #peter maximoff #Kurt Wagner x male!reader #Scott summers x male!reader #Warren Worthington III x male!reader #Peter Maximoff x male!reader #x men x male!reader #x male reader #male reader #male!reader #cinnamon #X-men headcanons

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ptergwen · 3 years

Note

hi val! i'm the one who sent in that peter annoying reader request. god that was such a good one i felt it 😂 can i ask for a part 2 for that?? maybe the reader somehow tells brad that she has a crush on peter so that was why she was so hurt he made fun of her, and brad helps her plotting against peter, it ends up peter being absolutely mad?? How it ends is up to you val! Thank you!!

gotcha

w/c: 1.4k

warnings: swearing and jealous peter hehe

a/n: here’s part one :,) i really like this concept so i ended up doin a oneshot

“ok, y/n. be honest,” brad prompts you, the two of you walking home from decathlon practice. “were you really crying because you didn’t remember the first president?” his lips pull into a knowing smirk. you bite a smile back and hold on to your backpack straps. “i mean, that’s part of it.” “say more,” he bumps your shoulder with his.

“i was crying because peter probably thinks i’m stupid now,” you admit, your grip tightening on your backpack. brad doesn’t try to cover up his scoff. “who cares what peter thinks?” squinting at him, you hit his arm lightly. “i do. he’s my friend.” “so am i. it shouldn’t be any different,” brad points out, clearly offended.

the sidewalk is empty except for you two, so you stop walking. brad does the same and makes a face at you. “right?” “no. i...” you take in a breath. you’re not looking forward to his reaction. “i like him. i like peter.” brad’s face goes from confused to terrified.

him and peter have hated each other for as long as you’ve known them. it’s why you keep him separate from the rest of your friends.

“he made you feel like crap, y/n! he’s a-“ “don’t call him a dick again,” you cut brad off and start to walk without him. he quickly catches up, his eyes still fixed on you. “i don’t get it. the dude pretty much says he’s better than you, and you like him,” brad tries to change your mind. too bad for him, you’re not easily persuaded.

“he was just playing around. he didn’t know i was actually upset, or he would’ve stopped,” you defend peter and your taste in guys. “we do that.” “y/n, please. you have so many other options,” brad all but begs, moving so he’s in front of you. he’s walking backwards now. you step past him and leave him behind you.

“no, brad. i’ve liked him for a while already,” the hurt is evident in your voice. you didn’t expect him to be happy about this, but jeez. could he show some support? brad picks up on your mood change and feels bad about it. unlike peter, he has self awareness. “i’m... sorry. are you gonna, like, tell him?” he asks with a nervous smile.

you smile back, yours wicked. “sort of. that’s where you come in.”

the next day at school, peter looks for you first thing. everyone is at your locker. everyone including brad. whatever, that’s not important right now. his main focus is on telling you how awful he feels about yesterday.

mj notices him walk up first, so she takes a step back to open the circle. she presses her lips together and clears her throat. that gets ned’s attention. ned realizes peter is here and offers an awkward smile. peter nods at him and turns to you. his eyes are already pleading.

the smile that was just on your face fades out. “oh,” is all you murmur out, then add, “hi.” “hi,” peter drags the word out. he glances over at brad. he’s standing too close to you for peter’s liking. squeezing his eyes shut, they land on you when he opens them.

“listen, y/n. i’m so sorry about everything i said. i didn’t realize i was the only one laughing,” peter tells you, every word sounding genuine. ned looks between the two of you sadly. “there’s.... there’s no excuse,” he keeps going. your features soften from the look of guilt on his face.

mj nods at you as a way of saying to let him finish. she would never let shit like this slide, so you know peter has to mean it.

“and i don’t think any less of you. it was a mistake,” peter’s eyes drop down to the floor. “i’ve said the wrong answer before, too.” those words heal what the ones from yesterday broke. you’re fully ready to forgive him now. “thank you. that made me feel a lot better,” you give peter a small smile.

“we’re good,” you assure him, peter now sporting a grin of his own. that is, until brad throws an arm around your shoulders. he’d almost forgotten he was there. you lean back against his chest as he presses a kiss to the top of your head.

huh?

the rest of the group gets into a conversation about what you should do over the weekend. guess that means brad will be there. peter doesn’t hear a single word because he’s too busy staring at you. you’re cuddling in the middle of the hallway with the only person on earth he completely hates.

brad is right on time whenever he messes up. the one time it’s with you and now he’s, what, your boyfriend? it’s not fair.

you’d drafted a plan with brad last night to get this exact response. you convinced him to fake date you. peter would hopefully get jealous, which he did, and that would prove if he likes you or not. it’s also good payback for making you cry over abraham lincoln.

brad didn’t want to do it at first because anything that ends with you dating peter, he refused to be part of. you brought up the fact that he would get to piss him off all day. then, he fell in love with the idea.

you stay attached to brad’s side all day. holding hands when you walk from class to class, sitting close to him at lunch. he’s never joined your group for lunch before. plus, you normally sit next to peter. he has to sit next to betty today. she talks a lot.

part of peter thought you liked him. he has other friends who are girls, and he doesn’t act the same with them. is your banter not flirting? did he interpret everything wrong? apparently he did because now you’re kissing brad’s cheek while he sips his orange juice.

that’s it for him. he gets up from the bench without any explanation and takes off, not bothering to bring his stuff. you pull away from brad and frown.

“i think it worked,” he comments, casually wiping his cheek with the back of his hand. ned and mj share a look. “you’re aren’t... dating?” she points at you and brad, which you shut down. “no, we’re fake dating. i like peter.” “oh, shit. you do? he likes you too!” ned blurts out. betty’s eyes grow the size of her whole face.

“how did i miss this? you guys don’t tell me anything!” she scolds you all and grabs your hand. “you have to go after him.” you look over at brad, who gives you a nod of approval. he’ll learn to hate peter a little less for you. “i am,” you decide and quickly slip out from the table. everyone shouts good luck wishes after you.

you find peter in a stairway on the second floor. he takes it to get to his next class, so you thought to come here. he’s sitting on the staircase with his arm on the railing. his head is leaning on his arm. he looks completely defeated. you might have broken his heart instead of made him jealous.

peter lifts his head when he sees you coming up the stairs. you wordlessly sit down next to him. clearing your throat, you get ready to say something. he talks first.

“i thought you and brad were just friends,” peter states with no emotion behind it. your heart starts thumping in your chest. “we are.” he licks his lips out of habit. “doesn’t look like it.” “i asked him to fake date me, peter,” you admit and search for his eyes, turning to face him on the stair. his eyebrows furrow. “what?”

“i wanted to make you jealous. i didn’t know you’d end up like... this,” you gesture to the mopey state he’s in. peter shakes his head in disbelief. “can we go back to the first part? you wanted to make me jealous?” a smile spreads across your face. “yeah.”

your lips suddenly land on his cheek, leaving both of them pink. he touches where you kissed him and grins. “if that didn’t make it clear, i like you,” you laugh out and scoot back from him. “i like you, too,” peter takes your hand before you go too far. he laces your fingers together.

“ned already told me.” you squeeze his hand and he lets out a breath. “i can’t even be mad at him.”

peter has a pretty great best friend. you do, too. you actually got brad to help you pull this whole thing off. he might not be so bad after all.

#tom holland #peter parker #tom holland fluff #peter parker fluff #spiderman #mcu #peter parker imagine #peter parker fic #peter parker x reader #peter parker fanfiction #peter parker smut #tom holland smut #tom holland imagine #tom holland x reader #tom holland fic #tom holland fanfiction

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tyrannosaurus-trainwreck · 2 years

Text

The one thing I don’t really understand about the whole Joss Whedon thing is takes like this:

The community’s sense of shock and betrayal could be seen in part as an indictment of the culture of fandom itself. “As fans, we have a bad habit of deifying those whose work we respect,” Kurtz, the comic-book artist, told me. “When you build these people up so big they have nowhere to go but down, I don’t know why we’re surprised when they turn out to be fallible humans who fall.” (from the Vulture article making the rounds)

Literally all Whedon had to do was produce the work he produced and be an okay dude. That was it. This is not some unscalable peak, some unfordable river, some impossible dream.

Like, yes, please, by all means stop acting like an artist’s output is any indicator of their personal worth, their personal morality, whether or not they’re a decent person, etc. There’s not actually any kind of correlation between the two, it’s a bad idea in general, there’s no real upside to it, blah blah blah.

But can we, for the love of all things holy and un-, not then turn around and act like “Don’t be an active shitheel” is an unreachable standard of behavior? Can we save the “fallible human” speeches for shit like needing to go to rehab, or having an affair with a costar and getting divorced, or handling your money so badly that you do a lot of shitty projects because you need the dough, or being Perfectionist McGee to the point where it makes you kind of difficult to work with, or putting your career ahead of your family? Notably: things that tend to blow over quickly in terms of needing the “fallible human” speech, since the reasonable fans settle down post-revelation and the unreasonable ones burn their swag and move on to their next idol.

Whedon could be described as going down--in a very gentle, controlled descent toward a very soft landing on a very high plateau--prior to it becoming extremely common knowledge that he’s a raging asshole, but it was largely because he hadn’t updated his writing in two decades and people were getting tired of seeing the same things out of every new Whedon project even as the cultural milieu drifted farther away from anything that gave those things relevance.

People got less and less forgiving of certain tropes Whedon leaned on as they aged poorly, sure, but he still enjoyed broad acceptance as a ‘90s dude-feminist who’d done groundbreaking work and then gotten lazy. It wasn’t even that inexplicable, given the slacker ethos popularized just as he was starting to take off--one of the primary benefits of Making It was supposed to be that you could do what you were interested in doing with people who were more friends than coworkers and still get paid. (Further illustrating the concept: 90% of Adam Sandler’s filmography, practically everything directed by Kevin Smith since 1997.) And probably most people would have said that his feminism seemed sincere, if shallow and dated.

All that would have been required to maintain that whole perception was, again, to not be an active shitheel.

Especially at the level he hit after Buffy was a huge and obvious success, where if you have relatively decent intentions, you don’t even have to be like “Wow, my interpersonal skills in this regard are subpar, I should work on that!” You can just hire people to handle stuff you’re not great at. “People get upset when I forget their birthdays, I’m shit at remembering birthdays, somebody place an ad for a PA to remember birthdays for me.” is a perfectly acceptable move for a rockstar showrunner to make--but it does require you to care that people are getting upset and want them to be happy instead.

Practically none of the stories that gained any traction were of the “he could be a thoughtless dick” or “he was an exacting director” stripe, though. The stuff that stood out to people--the stuff they’ve been putting on social media and telling reporters about--has all been about incidents where he was really clearly out to hurt someone. Because they disappointed him, because he could, as a warning to everyone else in the room, whatever, everyone’s on the same page that it was done deliberately.

See also, sleeping around. Would literally anyone have ever cared about who he had consensual sex with if he’d a) not been married to someone to whom he’d promised monogamy and b) excluded employees and teenagers? Probably not! And that’s still an absolutely enormous pool of potential sex partners! But you do have to want a lot of sex with hot women instead of wanting to emotionally abuse hot women willing to have sex with you.

The bar is just so goddamn low. Trotting out the fallible-human thing when people tunnel under it really doesn’t help.

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attemptinghaikyuu · 3 years

Text

Fake Dating: Tsukishima

A/n: This bastard could literally push me into the ocean, in which he’d still be the saltiest thing around, and I’d be like “wow... I love him..”

G/n reader

Tsukishima Kei

You’re childhood friends with him right alongside Yams

And I don’t know what these little kids were bullying you over but after going in for a punch and getting shoved back, Tsuki stepped in

He taunted that the kid couldn’t handle the hit you gave him and after the group ran away, you just sorta followed Tsukishima

You’re friendship took off from there

Sticking to a group of three: you, Yams, and Tsuki did everything together

Such as! Shit talking people like no one’s business :3

OKAY, jokes aside! It’s an awesome friend group

You three have weekend movie nights where you’ll either watch Jurassic Park or bake

Tsuki’s really good at making sweets

Yams and you try to do it like him, but it’s never as good

He’ll tease both of you about it

Don’t worry though, he still eats what you two make because he cares and appreciates all the work you both put in to try to get it tasting good

He’ll also always help if you’re struggling in school

Tsukishima will laugh and say it’s sad you couldn’t figure out that concept in class, then he’ll have a two hour study session to help you understand it😐

He’s the worst no he’s not

You swing by their practice to get little pointers on homework sometimes and Tsuki will immediately help you out

The first time you did this, Hinata screamed and had to be held back from throwing a volleyball at Tsukishima’s head

Hinata was having flashbacks to painful tutoring sessions with him

Specifically sessions where Tsuki would only explain things once before telling him he was on his own

The favoritism is great

Tsuki really saw you and Yams and was like “Ya, I’d kill for them.”

During one of your impromptu visits to your friend’s practice, Noya and Tanaka start complaining about how they don’t have girlfriends and you can just tell Tsuki’s heard this a thousand times

Yams is ignoring it like the champ he is✊

But when after a few minutes have passed, and they’re still talking about it... and are getting louder and closer, you can just tell something bad is gonna happen

And it does, when Noya gets so into his rant about cute girls, that he jumps right into Tsuki

Noya... you can’t rolling thunder your way outa this one

You spare a short glance to your other friend who similarly to you, is sporting a grim look

Turning back to Tsuki, wondering if you need to save Noya’s life, you jump when an arm wraps around your shoulders

“Speaking of dating, you should understand that some people are already in relationships and would rather not hear your sad droning on about not being in one.”

Your brain literally does not connect with what Tsuki has just said for a solid minute, and so the look on your face is the most unconvincing thing ever

The team is shocked and unsure what to believe

I mean, Tsuki looks very serious and even a little smug, but you’re looking like you’ve been slapped in the face

Tsuki picks up on your uncertainty over what he just said

Grabbing your hand, he explains that neither of you had planned to tell anyone for awhile

So finally getting a grip on the situation, you turn to the team and give an easy smile, leaning into Tsukishima’s side to sell his lie

Noya and Tanaka are in an uproar over the apparent dating status of their junior

Suga congratulates the two of you and soon after practice picks up again

Not without pissed off tears from the two second years who had caused this though

Tsuki looks very satisfied from that smh

Yams pulls you to the side and you try to figure out what the heck you should do with him

However, Tsuki already has a plan and he explains it to you on the walk home from volleyball

Whenever the team are around, specifically Noya and Tanaka, you’ll act like a couple

It’s kinda crazy and you’re not sure about it

But you do want to do something for your friend, so you’re decide to go with the unconventional idea

Yams is laughing his ass off watching his two friends fall into the weirdest routine possible

You find yourself wrapping yourself around Tsuki in hugs whenever you spot his teammates

You’ve also started the habit of dramatically calling out to him anytime you see him with someone on the team

Tsuki knows you’re messing with him and so now he’s doing the same, except slightly quieter

Neither of you are super into lovey dovey nicknames, maybe it’s having known each other for so long or you and Tsuki just not being those kinds of people

You both have a ton of embarrassing and high key rude names you call each other instead~

But you start to look forward to hearing him call them out

It had always been you, Tsuki, and Yams before

And while Yamaguchi was still your best friend, things were feeling different lately

Tsuki was starting to spend a lot more time with just you, and there were times when he’d get this soft look in his eyes

You kinda liked it

But it’s not like you were gonna tell him that

In fact, it felt like things were getting a bit out of hand

Was it not wrong how your heart had started skipping a beat when your friend gave you silly head bonks?

Weren’t you using him? You were just supposed to pretend to date him. These feelings blossoming inside your heart we’re ruining your friendship with the person who had always been there for you...

It had been four months since the whole thing had started and you just couldn’t do it anymore

Avoiding Tsuki made you feel like a genuine monster

His look of hurt when you ignored him and left him behind you, choosing to instead look down and keep walking to class

He tried to talk to you during lunch, but when he saw you weren’t going to budge, he backed off with a scowl and concern written all over his face

This lasted for a couple weeks; in which your days consisted of ignoring Tsuki, talking to Yams, and trying to ignore his questions as to why you were ghosting Tsuki

It was frustrating telling Yams that you wanted space, and the dam that had been building up in the time you had been stewing in your feelings, was finally bursting

“I just need to get things back to normal!” You shout, turning your back from your friend, not noticing the second person who had walked up

“I let it get out of hand, it wasn’t supposed to- I wasn’t supposed to feel that way.” You sigh, putting your face into your hands

An awkward pause later and Yam asks hesitantly “What way..?”

“Argghhh! I wasn’t supposed to feel like I was actually dating him! I wasn’t supposed to like him like that!!” You sigh again, pulling yourself up, intending to leave as quickly as possible now that everything was out in the open

“You seriously avoided me for that?” You feel a gentle bop on your head, “Y/n, did you actually think I didn’t feel the same?” The hand on your head was ruffling your hair now

Turning your face upwards, Tsuki’s eyes and slightly blushing face meet yours

Yams laughs lightly, patting his back, and you hear his quiet “finally~” as he retreats to the school building

Turning your attention back to Tsuki, uncertainty leaves you questioning what you’re supposed to do

He notices tho

Taking your hand with a tsk, he gives you a smirk “I can’t believe you’re making me do all the work in this relationship..” and then with unsureness you barely ever saw- added “if you want it to be a relationship.”

A giddiness warming you, one that had been missing in the time you spent away from Tsuki, you replied with an easy smile and leaned into his side enjoying the matching smile that spread across his face

#haikyuu!!#haikyuu x gender neutral reader #haikyuu tsukishima #tsukishima x y/n #tsukishima x reader #tsukishima x you #tsukishima kei #fake dating #haikyuu fluff #I think I’m gonna start adding the read under to most of my writing

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jackrrabbit · 4 years

Text

it will come back [pt. 1] /// Yandere Shigaraki x f!Reader

Summary: You have a bad habit of picking up strays, and the half-dead villain you find bleeding out in a dumpster is no exception. [Part 2] [Part 3]

A/N: Low budget yandere for my greasy king. This concept has definitely been done before, but I couldn’t resist. This is my first non-smut on this acct and I’ll be so sad if it bombs 😭

Title from the Hozier song: “don’t let it in with no intention to keep it / jesus christ, don’t be kind to it / oh honey don’t feed it / it will come back.”

Tags/warnings: light yandere, minor injury, angst, Shiggy likes you, reader needs a friend and a good night’s sleep. [In later parts but not in this one: violence, sex, more yandere, 18+]

You’ve always had a soft spot for strays. Maybe that’s why you became an ER nurse—from the first abandoned puppy you brought home as a kid to the patients you refuse to give up on even when it looks hopeless, you’ve never been able to turn a blind eye when something needs your help. Sometimes (times like this) you wish you knew better. It’s hard enough to take care of yourself these days.

Today’s shift was…what, 16 hours? 17? The 20-minute walk from the bus stop to your apartment building feels like it takes twice that long in the rain. God, you need a shower. And a decent night’s sleep, preferably for at least 12 hours. Tomorrow’s your day off, and you’re ready to take advantage of it the best way you know how: Netflix, soju, and your favorite vibrator. But tonight? As soon as you’re clean, you’re going to pig out on leftovers and collapse into the bed that’s the only halfway nice piece of furniture in your shithole apartment. You really do deserve a break; you’ve earned it.

Unfortunately, as usual, the universe has other plans.

You hear him before you see him: wheezing, choked breaths, like someone’s trying to breathe with an anvil on their chest. You’re not quite out of nurse mode so your mind starts trying to diagnose the issue before you even register what you’re hearing. Fluid in the lungs, possibly blood. That hacking isn’t good. Broken ribs? Definitely bruised. But probably not a puncture…

The breathing is coming from down an alley next to your building. It’s dark enough that you can’t see from the street what’s making the noise. And you’re not a fool, you know it’s a bad idea to walk down pitch-black alleys late at night, especially in this area—a neighborhood you’re living in by necessity, because it’s the only place cheap enough for you to get by. But the coughing…it just sounds so awful. It sounds like it hurts.

Your phone’s already in your hand with 119 dialed and ready to call (standard practice when you’re walking home by yourself), but you turn the flashlight on and shine it down the alleyway. “Hello? Anyone there?”

Nothing responds, but you can still hear the breathing. You step in a little deeper, swinging your light from side to side and looking over the heaps of trash bags overflowing from the dumpster. The raindrops make clicking sounds as they hit the plastic, and you can hear gurgling from a rain spout down the side of the building, but the wheezing doesn’t stop.

One more step. And then one more. You wish there was something you could do to make the splash of your rain boots in the puddles a little less loud. Something about this situation—the rain, the dark, the flat grey light from your cellphone, and that horrible hacking breath—it makes you feel like you’re walking into a horror movie. But you don’t stop walking.

The hacking is coming from a man propped up on the wall between a few XL bags of trash. The black outfit he’s wearing almost blends into the bags, but a mop of grey-blue hair gives him away. His head is slumped onto his chest, and if he’s conscious he doesn’t show it. “Hello?” you ask again, even less confident that you’re going to get a response.

No answer.

The smell of garbage is…ugh…hard to ignore, but on top of it is an oppressive stench of copper coming from the man passed out in the trash. You kneel down to get a better look and yep, he’s covered in blood. It’s hard to make out in the low light, but there’s a trio of long gashes in the man’s abdomen, cutting apart the skin and flesh so deep you can see traces of a slim layer of yellow fat between all the inky clotted blood. It looks like he was attacked by an animal. Or someone with an animal quirk. There are a lot of villains in this neighborhood.

And the coughing...definitely internal injuries. Whoever this guy is, he needs treatment. You hold up your phone to hit the call button on your pre-dialed 119—

“Don’t.” The voice is a growl, low and surprisingly firm despite the scratchiness. You jerk back and clutch your phone to your chest, caught off guard not just by the interruption but by the intensity of the face glaring up at yours.

His eyes are red. “You need an ambulance,” you tell him in your calmest nurse voice.

“If you try to call the police, I’ll—kill you,” the man says, but the threat is a little less threatening when he has to stop in the middle to retch blood onto his own chin.

You glare back at him but don’t call the emergency number. There are a lot of of reasons why he wouldn’t want to go to the hospital, but the most obvious one is probably true. “You’re a criminal. A villain?”

He doesn’t respond, choosing instead to keep glaring at you like you’ve committed some mortal sin against his ancestors by having the nerve to check on him and try to help him. Somehow it pisses you off. When you were getting your ADN, you once took a temp job doing health screenings at a local middle school and you would always get so annoyed at the kids. Didn’t they see you were just doing your job? Why is it so hard to understand that what you’re doing is for their own good?

Stupid kids. Stupid villain. “You’d rather bleed out and die?”

The man bares his teeth at you, and it’s a pretty disturbing scene considering how they’re covered in scarlet. “You think they’re going to save me? Think I’ll go to the hospital and get all my HP restored?”

He’s mocking you now. You only have a second to move out of the way before he spits off to the side. “I mean…that’s how a hospital works.”

“If you think I would—make it out of that ambulance alive, you’re—dumber than you look.” His voice is interspersed with coughs.

“Well, you’re not going to live if I leave you here.” You hold up your phone, ready to call the ambulance, but in a shocking display of agility the man lunges forward and grabs it out of your hand. “Hey, wait! Give that…back…”

Your voice trails off as your phone crumbles—literally crumbles to dust in the man’s fingers. Once he’s satisfied that there’s no way for you to call the cops, he slumps back onto the trash bags and closes his eyes, apparently exhausted from the effort.

Goddamnit…! For a second, you can only stare blankly at the pile of dust that used to be your $300 smartphone. And then you’re seized by something, maybe not hatred but an annoyance so strong you can feel it in your throat, and you decide right then and there that this villain is not going to die. You’re going to save him. Out of spite.

You’re not sure how you manage to half-carry him from the alley to your apartment, but you do. You’re lucky it’s ass-o-clock at night and no one’s in the lobby or the elevator, or you’d definitely be getting some looks trying to lug a maimed body around. What would you say if someone did call the cops? Don’t worry, don’t worry about it officer, it’s just my friend drank a little too much, oh those wounds? We were at a costume party, haha…

But no one sees you, and no one calls the cops. The man is unconscious the whole time you’re carrying him, and by the time you have him laid out on a shower curtain on your living room floor his breathing is a little bit shallower than it was before. You’ve got your tools—nothing fancy, just some gauze and closures and antiseptic from your personal first aid kit. It’s not much, but it’ll have to be enough.

“Let’s get to work, asshole,” you tell the unconscious body in front of you, and you crack your knuckles.

///

The day after you pick the villain out of the garbage, your body decides that it’s not going to let you sleep in no matter how much you need it. You can tell because the huge windows in your bedroom—the only saving grace of this apartment, honestly—are depositing golden-pink sunrise light over everything you see when you open your eyes, including the villain’s face. Which is about six inches away from yours.

“You smell like death,” you tell him sleepily. He doesn’t move.

He’s…probably in his early twenties, you think, but it’s hard to tell because of all the wrinkles. His hair is on the longer side, and it’s striped with rusty brown smears from his blood. Again, you notice how red his irises are. Have you ever seen someone with eyes that color before? You’re pretty sure you haven’t.

“You slept for a long time,” the villain says, finally moving back so he’s not breathing into your mouth.

“Yeah, I was tired. From saving your life.” You sit up and rub your temples. “I’m thirsty…”

Before you can finish your complaint, the villain is holding a glass of water out to you in an awkward 4-fingered grip.

“Um, thanks, I guess.” You suck down the water and immediately feel better, enough that you realize how wrong it is that he’s up and moving around and probably undoing all your hard work. “You should be lying down.”

“The floor hurt, and I was bored.”

“Lie on the couch then. You can watch TV. But first—“ He’s sitting on the edge of your bed next to you, and you make him lie down flat so you can look at the injuries. They’re not nearly as bad as they looked last night—no walk in the park, but at least you won’t have a corpse in your apartment in a few hours.

When you’re done inspecting him, he sits up and asks you for a shirt. You had to cut his off, not that it was any great loss. The thing was shredded. Him pointing it out is the only thing that makes you really realize he’s shirtless, so you give him an oversized pajama shirt of yours. It has the name and motto of your old high school on it, and the villain reads it out in a half-mocking tone when you hand it to him.

“Beggars shouldn’t be choosers,” you snap. “You should be grateful.”

“I am grateful,” he says, putting the shirt on. “But I don’t understand.”

“I mean, you need a shirt, right? It’s cold—“

“No. Not that.” He’s staring at you again, and you find it difficult to maintain eye contact. “Why you didn’t leave me where you found me last night.”

There’s a lot you could tell him, all of it a little bit true. You were curious. You believed him when he said he wouldn’t make it out of the hospital alive. You couldn’t leave him alone the same way you can’t leave abandoned puppies alone. You wanted to prove to him that you were right, and that being stubborn wouldn’t get him what he wanted. But you don’t say that. “You killed my phone, so you owe me a new one. And I can’t get that back if you bleed out.”

He’s looking at you like he doesn’t believe you, and you fidget under his gaze until he sighs and says, “Whatever.”

You have to let him lean on your shoulder when he walks back to the living room to lie down on your couch. How the hell did he even get to your bedroom by himself? You really didn’t think this through—what are you supposed to do with an infirm possible villain who can barely walk unsupported without opening his injuries back up?

But that’s a problem for tomorrow you to deal with. Today, you’re content to set your laptop up on the coffee table so the two of you can watch TV in…oddly companionable (if you’re not imagining it) silence. It’s almost the lazy day off you were daydreaming about before you got yourself into this mess, and the atmosphere is so relaxed that before you can really decide whether to force the man to go to the hospital or turn him out on the street (or…?) you’re dozing off on your couch like there isn’t a potentially dangerous stranger lying beside you with his head just a few inches from your lap.

When you wake up, your problem is solved for you. He’s gone, and it’s like he was never there—except you’re down a cellphone and a pajama shirt, and your shower curtain is drenched with blood. You wrap it up with the rest of the soiled medical supplies and toss all of it in a dumpster a mile away from your building without knowing exactly why.

///

It’s not the last you see of him, but somehow you had a feeling that was going to be the case.

He scares the shit out of you the first time he visits (over time, that’s how you’ll start to think of his little unannounced drop-ins: visits. Like you’re being visited by a ghost or something). You’re coming back from another grueling shift in the ER, so tired you think you might be sleepwalking, and what do you find when you come in your apartment but a strange white-haired man sitting on your couch eating dry cereal out of the box and flipping through one of your books?

You nearly piss yourself.

He doesn’t seem surprised, which makes sense, considering he’s a villain and he’s probably used to pulling this dramatic entrance thing on people. He certainly doesn’t seem the least bit threatened when you brandish the mini canister of pepper spray on your keychain and demand that he tell you how he got in if he wants to retain the power of eyesight.

“It was unlocked,” he says.

“It was not unlocked,” you reply, rolling your eyes. You may be sleep deprived, but you’re not careless. Never careless.

“Whatever. Calm down. You’re not going to use that on me.”

He’s right, but you don’t want to admit it. If he wanted to do something to hurt you, he could’ve done it that first night. And you’re too tired to really put up a fight, so you just put the cap back on the pepper spray and flop down next to him on the couch. “What the hell are you doing here?”

He looks at you curiously from between his shaggy bangs, like you’re the one intruding in his home and not the other way around, then reaches out to hand something to you. “Here, payback.”

It’s a cell phone—not a smartphone like the one he destroyed, but a flip phone circa the 2000s, the kind that forces you to press “9” four times to get the letter “F”. You stare at it for a second, then look back at the villain. “Are you kidding? Did you get this from a museum?”

“Take it or leave it.” His feet are propped up on your coffee table, but you can’t make yourself care. Actually, it looks nice…him stretched out with an odd look of comfort on his lanky form.

You lean back on the couch and kick up your feet next to his. “Fine. Thanks, I guess.”

He shrugs.

“How are your wounds healing?” Why are you trying to make conversation with this guy? He’s…a villain, right? Not that you’ve ever received affirmative confirmation of that fact, but the hesitance to call the police and the breaking and entering are pretty good tells. But…it might be weird, but since you picked him up that day, you’ve felt a kind of kinship with him.

Alone. Abandoned. No place to go. No one to save him. It’s not a pretty comparison, but you can’t deny it rings true.

Maybe that’s why you pick up strays.

“They’re fine,” he tells you after so long a pause that you’ve almost forgotten your question. “Doesn’t even hurt anymore.”

You take a long look at him, at his posture—he’s relaxed, but his abdomen is crunched a little bit, curled in on himself so subtly that even you wouldn’t have noticed it if you weren’t looking. It’s not your problem. He’s an adult, and you’re sure he could be seeking real medical attention if he really needed it. You’re in no way obligated to perform some kind of checkup on this arrogant dick who literally broke into your apartment to give you a shitty phone and eat your cereal. The sensible thing to do is to tell him to forget that you live here and hopefully never see him again.

His head tips back to rest on the top of the couch, and he holds your book up to read. At this angle his long hair is out of the way of his face, and you notice among the deep-set creases in his skin a pair of wide scars across his right eye and on the corner of his lips. They’re pale and faded—old, then—but they look off to you, and after a while of snatching glances at his face you realize it’s because they’re healed badly, extraordinarily badly, the kind of healing that you don’t see very often because it only occurs when a stubborn patient tries to let a particularly nasty injury heal on its own. The part of you that isn’t sensible wonders how old he was when he got those scars.

Has he learned his lesson?

You doubt it.

“Lie down,” you sigh. “Let me see the cuts.”

Which is how you find yourself examining this annoying villain again, checking on his injuries and giving him recommendations for care like you’re his personal nurse or something. It’s not a role you enjoy playing, but at least he takes it without complaint, and you start to wonder if maybe this is why he broke into your apartment in the first place. If anything, he looks calmer when you’ve flipped up his shirt and prodded at his wounds, his eyes closing slowly and freeing you of that scarlet-red gaze.

He’s like a cat, you think, and then you shake your head and remind yourself that it’s a terrible idea to think of this man—this grown man who is probably a great danger to you and others—as a wild animal you’re trying to domesticate.

When he finally leaves (only after you drop a couple dozen unsubtle hints about how long you’ve been at work and how exhausted you are), you take a moment before you sink into bed to look at the flip phone. It’s no nicer than your original impression, but as you scroll through the screens you notice that it’s factory-new, except for one thing: there’s a contact programmed in, a phone number with an area code you don’t recognize listed under “T”. And you don’t want to be curious…

…but you are. Shocking.

Down the rabbit hole it is, you decide. So you text him.

///

[You: 12:03 AM] > Hey it’s (Y/N) > (the girl whose apartment you broke into) > What does T stand for? [T: 12:07 AM] > What do u think [You: 12:09 AM] > ?? [T: 12:09 AM] > My name > Dont you know who i am [You: 12:10 AM] > Are you famous? [T: 12:10 AM] > You dont watch the news do u [You: 12:11 AM] > Not really > What’s your name then [T: 12:12 AM] > … > Didnt u say u had to sleep [You: 12:15 AM] > Oh yeah > Whatever I guess > Good night

[T: 2:34 AM] > Its Tomura > Dont look it up

[You: 8:02 AM] > Ok > I won’t > Tomura

➠ [Part 2]

#Shigaraki tomura x reader #shigaraki tomura #yandere bnha #yandere shigaraki tomura x reader #bnha imagines #feeling real shy posting this 👉👈#bnha #yandere shigaraki tomura #boku no hero academia #boku no hero academia imagines #mha #my hero academia #mha imagines #my hero academia imagines #shigaraki tomura/reader #yandere shigaraki tomura/reader #yandere

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zosonils-art · 3 years

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👀 may we know more about rhythm man?

we sure may!!!!! rhythm dump under the cut as always

rhythm man was made to do a variety of tasks relating to sound! mostly he either does sound checks for important devices like hydrophones, sonar, seti listening devices, stuff like that, or he analyses the audio that they pick up in greater detail than any human or almost any computer can. someone [probably dr light, who created him] showed him a rhythm game pretty early in his life, and he instantly fell in love with the game genre and, more significantly, the concept of music itself. he's still doing the job he was designed for, but his real passion and arguably what he's better known for in-universe is creating music, which he uses his intricate understanding of audio to excel at

he makes a point of being a cool guy to be around! he's nice, fun-loving, and always has a joke ready. he's very encouraging of others, and thinks everyone should get to chase their dreams and do what makes them happy. when there's no bright side for him to look on, though, he doesn't really know how to act, and as such he feels uncomfortable confronting serious emotional situations and has a bad habit of repressing any negative feelings he doesn't know how to deal with and just letting them get worse. he might be developing some resentment towards his work for how much of his time it takes up that he'd rather be spending pursuing his interests, but oops that's not a fun feeling! better bottle it up and not think about it

all robots are neurodivergent but rhythm in particular has SO much undiagnosed adhd. he [probably] doesn't mind his job, but he can't pretend to be nearly as enthusiastic about it as he is his music, and tends to come off as distracted and spacey when he's at work. he's also capable of entering a hyperfocus-like state that temporarily re-allocates computing power usually dedicated to spatial awareness and sensory processing to focus on something else, which was designed to let him analyse audio with even more precision. rhythm occasionally uses this feature as intended, but more often finds himself turning it on while he's making music or playing a game to get into the groove more

he'll gladly enjoy any genre of music, but anything under the electronic umbrella is his favourite to listen to and create, especially bass music and all its subgenres! outside of genre preferences he likes songs with a lot of tiny bits and pieces and intricate details to notice - i think he'd really enjoy bill wurtz's music, for instance, due to just how much is going on in almost every song. he posts the music he makes online, and has a pretty sizeable following for both the novelty of a robot that makes music and the fact that everything he makes genuinely slaps super hard. being a robot, his criteria for 'good' music is all very simple and objective stuff like whether it's in key or has a time signature that makes sense or follows a pattern rather than just being random sounds, so he's able to appreciate almost any music for what it is and can name the number of songs he actively dislikes on one hand, although despite his best efforts to be forgiving he's a bit of an audio quality snob

the only sound he genuinely doesn't like is white noise, because the total lack of a discernable pattern or anything notable freaks him out. it's hard-coded into him to try and find meaningful noise in very fuzzy sound, and even if he analyses it back and forth on every level and concludes that it's just random aural static he's still left with a feeling of unease about it. his headphones have a sort of noise-cancelling mode that completely blocks out most background noise so he can maintain a conversation without constantly pausing to overanalyse everything he hears - without the noise cancelling he's got the world's worst case of auditory processing disorder. he's weak to psychic cry because it's just a really violent blast of white noise, and is one of the only bosses susceptible to its stunning effect because the sound freaks him out so badly he has to stop for a moment to force himself to ignore it

almost everything about rhythm came from the idea i had for his stage! i imagine it functioning as a sort of rhythm platformer where almost every moving part is timed to the beat of the stage music. it's the obligatory yoku block-spamming stage of the game, but in theory if you follow the music and jump across in time with the beat you'll make it through without much trouble [and maybe even have fun! in a stage with *yoku blocks!!*]. other stuff like constantly-spawning enemies and the attack patterns of rhythm himself would also be on that same beat cycle! as for theming, his stage is a mostly-vertical climb up a radio tower - wily's reprogramming takes his repressed frustration over not always getting to focus on his passion and upgrades it to outright spite, and he decides that actually you WILL listen to his mixtape whether you want to or not and proceeds to hijack the biggest radio tower in mosteropolis and override every single station with lofi beats to take over the world to

rhythm is the first robot master idea i ever had that wasn't a reference to something else, although for a pretty long time he was only a stage idea and a name. maybe that's why his design changed more throughout his development than any of the other guys [even between the sketch and the final lineart for this art i refined his look like 3 times]. initially he had a more 'tough'/punk-ish look, with spikes on his helmet and around his wrists and ankles, but i ended up phasing most of those elements out in favour of the led lights and generally less intimidating look. i briefly considered having his design reference rhythm heaven somehow, since it's my favourite rhythm game and the only one i'm any good at lmao, but nothing came of that - perhaps his stage enemies could have some rh references in their ranks instead, chuck some screwbots up there or something. he also had massive anime sunglasses at some point but it's better for that design to never see the light of day

he also likes dancing! hence his funky moves in the art. his body shape isn't compatible with every dance style what with the clunky robot limbs and having a stereo for a chest, and he definitely wasn't built for physical agility, but with a little practice he can pick up most dance moves no problem. he's definitely a dance battler, and i think he would love rhythm games that trick you into exercising like dance dance revolution or just dance. rhythm man does a frame perfect ddr tas in real-time on an actual cabinet

that about wraps it up for the rhythm infodump, thank you for asking about him!! as always here's the unfiltered and transparent versions of his artwork

#i'm really proud of myself for coming up with the quaver headphones. i think those look neat #zos draws #mega man #mega man oc #robot master oc #rhythm man #zos answers #zos talks #anon #zoriginal characters

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