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#i love to hit the reblog button its my favourite thing
hiraethenthusiast · 3 years
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The Hollandairé | t.h.
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pairing: ceo!tom x ceo! reader
word count: 16k+
synopsis: exes cross paths on a big event. will they be able to forget each other's mistakes?
warnings: language, sexual innuendos, mentions of an anxiety attack (if you squint), talks about miscarriage, my favourite angst.
a/n: well, well, well im back from a very shitty writers block! look at me, writing angst with exes? oof. can you tell that i absolutely love angst and makeouts in the end? i was somehow inspired by 'idfc' by blackbear to write this fic lol. it took some time and ofcourse i went overboard with it, so hope you enjoy! don't forget to like and reblog! (i even made a moodboard kinda thing uwuwu)
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"Conan I won't hesitate to knee you in the crotch if you don't stop pulling me off this sofa right this second" You tell your roommate, who is desperately trying to get you to go to a gala with him. Being a CEO brings its pros and cons. Pros being, you have a private jet, you're your own boss and you can shout at people with a reason. Cons being, annoyingly nice roommates. You had just shifted to a penthouse in downtown London with your friend Conan, because you refused to stay alone in this bigass house. (You tried living alone once, you were bored to death)
"Conan leave me alone yoo!" You said whining and hunching back into the sofa.
"Get the fuck up and get ready for the launch dude you promised me you wouldn't leave me hanging" Conan shouts over the voice of the t.v. blaring in the background. You pull you hand away from his grip and reach for the remote to shut off the t.v., focusing back on this tall red-headed figure in front of you.
"You know I don't like fancy shit." You grumble.
"It's YOUR fancy shit, get up Y/N." He says and reaches for your arms now, finally making you stand.
"Call Laura, I really don't want to go." You say pulling your phone out from your back pocket and handing it to him.
"If you haven't realised, your manager is the one who forced me to force you to attend the introduction of your fashion line" He fights back.
"- and Y/N. Hey, look at me. You've dreamt of this for how long? Almost all your life. And if you miss the chance to see your empire expand, it's gonna be devastating. You'll obviously miss the fashion show who's got the actual Rudy Pankow walking on a ramp, you'll also miss the opportunity to see people happy with YOUR work. Now get your ass up and get ready." He says and leaves the room, to get ready himself.
It's not that you don't want to go, you really do. Afterall, all of it is your hardwork. But the reason you're not going is because of that asshole. That asshole with whom you used to go out with once, the one who's current goal is to bring you down. The one and only, Tom Holland. You two used to date at some point, the ones who were in love actually, but the rivalry you two have got going on now has lead to you two knowing too much about each other. More than you know about yourself, the other knows it all. Small arguments turned into big ones, that eventually lead to the two of you leaving each other alone. You don't want to go because whenever you meet him, it all turns up into a big mess and your night is typically ruined, and you weren't in the mood for that, atleast not today. He's just a narcissistic bitch who thinks of nothing but degrading you. And that's the reason you don't want to go. Because you know if you talk to him one more time, these banters will persuade you.
But you do realise that you have to go. You have to go because you haven't gone to the last two launches for your perfume and swim line as well, and if you don't go today, Laura will actually end you.
So you just chug all your tea, leaving the kitchen with a grunt to go get ready.
"Hey Marco, can you send in that pantsuit I got done the other day? Look over for modifications if possible, although it looks great in just the solid colour, and please get it drycleaned." You tell your designer over the phone, to which he agreed and you go into your room to get your hair and makeup done.
"Wear a dress to the launch of your fashion line when it gets famous, yeah?"
"Pantsuits all the way Holland, you know I hate dresses."
"I know you do."
You remember the faint memory from over two years ago, that dream actually coming true, just without the person you dreamt it with.
You put your hair in a low bun with a middle part, giving you a classy formal look, and you do a almost non existent makeup look, only your eyes bold to accent with your outfit. Marco drops off the forest green pantsuit at your house, you giving it a twist with wearing a lace corset beneath the blazer.
"I look hot." You told yourself.
You and Conan leave for the event, you fidgeting in between 15 minute durations, Conan reassuring you that he'll be with you until the night ends.
That didn't last long. You lost Conan as soon as you entered the venue, so you occupied yourself with having conversations with other company owners, hearing how they're doing in the industry, blah blah blah.
"Do I look like I care?" You say to yourself.
You move ahead, only to cross paths with the one and only. He was wearing a cherry coloured perfectly tailored suit, adding a hint of Tom with the glasses. He looked good.
"And what do I owe this pleasure, Ms. Y/N?" He says, twirling his champagne glass in his hands.
"Look Holland I really don't have time for this shit, please take a goodie bag on your way home" You say with a bit of sass and start to move away, only to get your arm held back, making you bump in his chest.
"I see you wore the pantsuit you always wanted to wear at your event, angel " He says, making you pull away from him.
"Don't ever call me that again, and this is a warning." You were about to continue further with your answer, but you were utterly shocked to see the person in front of you.
"Is that the Y/N Y/L/N, in person, the one who's way too busy to answer my phone calls?" He says, making you laugh a bit.
"Jaeden?" You say, laughing heartily.
"In the flesh, tigeress." He says, doing grabby hands at you as an indication to pull you in a hug. You oblige and walk towards him and give him the biggest bear hug you've given anyone in two years. You pull back just to hit him on the chest once, playfully ofcourse.
"Tigeress. Oof haven't heard that in a while" You keep your conversation going on with Jaeden, while Tom is absolutely dumbfounded about whatever just happened in these past few seconds.
There's this hot guy named Jason or whatever, who calls you 'tigeress' and you aren't pestering him for calling you with a nickname but you definitely were ready to give Tom a piece of your mind when he called you 'angel'? Who is this guy?
Tom goes off to find Conan, who was situated at the bar downing a shot of tequila.
"Hey who's that guy Jason?" He asks him, pointing towards you and Jaeden in the middle of the hall.
"You mean Jaeden?" He says, biting onto a slice of lemon.
"Yeah whatever who is he?" Tom asks again, turning towards to bartender asking for a glass of whiskey.
"Why do you want to know?" Conan shoots back.
"Just curious. Can you just fucking tell me now?" Tom tries again, getting frustrated now.
"Chill dude. Jaeden used to work with Y/N a long time ago. He had this crush on her for like forever, but then Y/N went in for entrepreneurship and they were just not in contact with each other." He says.
"Crush huh?" Tom says, gripping onto his glass so tight that his knuckles almost turned white.
"Why do you look like you're about to murder someone?" Conan asks, getting concerned.
"Because I might." Tom says, grinding his teeth while forcing a smile.
The night goes by pretty smoothly, for you. You and Jaeden were clinged to each other almost the whole night, and then Tom watching you both from a distance, trying not to snap hard at people. He just took enough of it, he had to do something. He wasn't really sure why was he jealous, 'maybe because you love her' his heart said, but his mind crossing paths with a 'no you don't' in the middle. He was in a dilemma, but was mostly leaning towards his heart's side. He finally got up from his seat and walked towards you.
"Y/L/N." He says, keeping his composure.
"Yes?" You turn around to come face to face with him, laughing on something Jaeden had said.
"Board of Directors want to meet you on third floor. I was going that way only, wanted to inform you." He says.
"Oh okay. Jaeden I'll be back in a few. And tell me about that Mario Kart incident." You say, your laughter dying as you walk towards the elevator, motioning Tom to move as well. You both enter the elevator and you click the button for third floor.
"So Jaeden's a long lost friend, I assume?" He tries to small talk, failing miserably.
"Yeah, I used to work with him a long time back. Why do you ask?" You say, being the nicest you've been to Tom in two years.
"Just making small talk. So, exactly how long ago, you used to work with him?" He tries again.
"A really long time ago." You tell him.
"When we were dating?" He says, hesitating.
The elevator dings and you reach third floor, both of you moving into a very empty hallway.
"Why do you care Tom?" You say, making him frustrated even more.
"Because you're my fucking ex-girlfriend whom I'm worried about because that asshole has a mega crush on you" He says, making you jerk your head towards him.
"How many whiskeys have you had?" You ask him, because he was sounding oblivious that's for sure.
You turn around to open the meeting room to find it empty, making you glare at Tom once again.
"Why the fuck did you bring me up here Holland, where's the meeting?" You say, narrowing your eyes towards him.
"There is no meeting Y/N, the Board didn't show up this year, remember?" He says moving and fidgeting around the room.
"Then why did you bring me up here, dumbass?" That put him over the edge. He starts walking towards you making you take a few steps back, finally cornering you in the room.
"Because that guy is fucking flirting with you Y/N. That guy has been roaming around the whole night with my girl, touching and hugging my girl in front of me and you expect me to keep my calm? Huh? I don't fucking care okay? You're supposed to be mine and I was a jerk who let you go. I can't stand seeing you with other people. What the fuck is wrong with you Y/N, why did you leave me?!" He shouts at you, making your blood boil even more.
You push him back and stand in front of him, glaring as if you were going to rip his head off.
"No Tom, YOU left me, alright? I cried almost every night after that day when you left, and you didn't even have the empathy to give me a call. You, are too self-absorbed, and not me Tom. It was all you. I haven't been to even one of my launches just because I know you'll be there, you'll be there to put me down again. And why the fuck do you care about whom I talk to huh?" You shout at him.
"Why would I come to every single one of your launches Y/N?! To see you! To see the person who understood me more than I did, just to fucking see your face and calm my nerves!" He shouts back. He moves towards you and holds you chin to put your eyes at his eye level.
"Look at me Y/N. Look at me. Did we mean anything to you? Did I mean anything to you? Look at me in the eyes and tell me you never loved me. Tell me I meant nothing to you and I'll leave this second. Tell me that this was all a lie." He says, making your eyes water.
"You know I can't tell you that."
"Then why do you keep hurting me Y/N?! You hurt me so much! You left me when I needed you the most! I wanted you and you weren't there-" He shouts again.
"SHUT UP TOM, SHUT UP! Stop it! Stop! Please. Stop." You're crying hysterically now, hunching up in a corner trying to calm yourself down. Tom immediately sees it and runs towards you holding your hands and cradling them.
"Hey, hey Y/N. Look at me, look at me baby. It's Tom. Hey baby. I'm here, yeah? I'm here. Stop crying come on babe, please. Love, look at me. I'm here." He says, now running his hand over your cheeks wiping your tears.
"Go away. Go away from me." Is all you say, which makes his ears perk and brings water to his eyes.
He stands up and moves out of the room, closing the door just to hear you crying again. He sits down on the floor with his back on the door now, crying, waiting for you to say something.
"Please, open the door." He says, bursting into tears and hugging himself with his arms, wishing it was you.
Fifteen minutes pass by and you still haven't said anything. Tom misses you so much, and it was so fucked up of you to leave him like this. He was hurt, but he could never stop loving you. Ever.
"Losing you would be a nightmare that I'd beg to be awaken from everyday." You say opening the door, your eyes blood red, hair disheveled making Tom look at you, whose eyes were blood red too.
"What?"
"I was pregnant, Tom." You tell him, making his eyes widen and holding your hand for comfort.
"The day-" You clear your throat "The day we fought is when we lost the baby. I was going to tell you I was pregnant that day, but then that happened." You were crying a bit more now, but still held you composure so you can handle Tom from now.
"The argument gave me too much stress and, and it was affecting the baby so as soon as you left, um, my stomach started aching really badly and, and yeah we lost our baby then. That's why I left." You say, you were crying on his shoulder now, intentionally ignoring his reaction because you knew it would hurt him.
"We, we- lost our baby?" He says, a bit shocked but choking on his tears. You remain silent.
"Hey, hey. Listen. It's okay. It wasn't your fault. It was mine. I shouldn't have fought with you. You were already really worried and I just added onto your pressure. I'm so sorry baby I'm so so sorry." He was full-on crying now, he sniffled in your neck because he was too afraid to show his emotions.
"It wasn't your fault Tommy, it was ours." You say, running your hand in his curls. The way you missed his chestnut curls. It was all good again, well atleast you hoped.
Tommy. That always brought butterflies in his stomach.
You talked everything out in the bathroom, while washing your faces and cleaning up. You both understood that everything was going back to normal, just like the old times. One conversation lead to another, and you spent two hours on the bathroom floor just laughing and having gossip.
"It's been a while." You say laughing, looking at your watch.
"Yeah."
"Why did you say 'my girl' Tom?" You ask him directly.
"Hm?"
"You called me 'my girl' in the conference room. Why?" You tell him, and he instantly remembers that he did do that.
"You're in my head almost everyday Y/N. Even when you're not supposed to be. It shouldn't have been this hard letting go, but it was. I still love you, even if you don't." He says, taking some tissue paper off the counter.
"Who said I don't love you?" You say, making his eyes widen.
"Wha- wh- what are you implying here?" He stumbles upon his words, making you laugh.
"I still love you, you goof."
"Y/N you have to be serious you're making me want things I can't have." He says wholeheartedly.
You say nothing but grab him by his collar and kiss him with full force. After two years, you felt those soft lips on yours again, reminiscing every moment you had missed in these past years. They felt the same, soft and plump, just as if they were made for you. They fit in with yours like a puzzle, that was meant to be solved by these two hearts which were tangled, but now, in a right way. Tom kissed back almost immediately, feeling your lips was like a dream come true. A recurrent dream in his mind. You both pull back to see red and puffy lips and give out a light laugh. He doesn't stop, he keeps leaving peppery kisses all over your face mumbling sweet words again and again.
"I missed you so, so much angel." he says leaving a kiss on your nose.
"I missed you too bubba." you say leaving a small peck on his lips.
"Let's go now, we've been here for almost two hours." You start to move towards the door, but get pulled back by your waist.
"Tell Jaeden to maintain distance, yeah?" He says.
"Or what?" You say in a playful tone.
"Babygirl, I think you've forgotten what I'm capable of." He says, kissing your neck.
"I think I have. And stop kissing me I look shit." You say, laughing.
"I really don't care. You still look hot and I'm trying not to kiss you senseless right now." He says leaving another harsh suck on your skin, which can hopefully be covered by your blazer.
"Are you going to eyefuck me all night or are you going to do something about it?" You say, now kissing Tom's sweet spot.
"Finish this event in the next half an hour. I'll see you at my house babe." He says leaving one last peck on your lips.
You both reach downstairs after fixing your makeup and hair, you reach upto the stage and and hold onto the mic.
"Thankyou all for attending the event. We look forward to having more business with you! Don't forget to post something about our line 'The Hollandairé' on your social media platforms and don't forget to tag us! We are, The Y/L/N's thankyou have a good night!"
He listen to you and smirks to himself, because you do do what you say.
"I'm going to name my first fashion line 'The Hollandairé' " You say making a banner with your hands.
"And I'll be right with you then baby" He says, kissing your cheek.
Looks like he kept his promise too.
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tagging some friends whom i think would like to read!:
@hollandslittlekoala @hollandsmushroom @leafy-holland @tomsoxytocin @scarletspideyy @t-lostinworlds
(pls do tell me if you don't want to be tagged further on!)
don't forget to reblog!
ilysmmmm. tpwk y'all!
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Of something beautiful, but annihilating🚬3
Warnings: nonconsensual sex, violence and abuse, mentions of miscarriage, mentions of death'; violence, attempted rape.
This is dark!fic and explicit. Your media consumption is your own responsibility. Warnings have been given. DO NOT PROCEED if these matters upset you.
Summary: Reader’s husband brings home an unexpected houseguest.
Note: So this is for black Friday and then I’ll be working all today and tomorrow and schedule’s are super late so I dunno when Im working after that. Hope you guys enjoy and don’t hesitate to drop by my asks.
Thank you. Love you guys!
As always, if you can, please leave some feedback, like and reblog <3
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Arvin let you pick the record. You found it among the box of your daddy’s music. It was one of your favourites and you were glad he wasn’t bothered by Patsy Cline’s droll tones. He seemed to enjoy it as he sat and read a magazine and you searched for a button from your large tin to match that missing from Roy’s jacket.
“You ever listen to Elvis?” He looked up from behind the pages.
“I… I heard him on the radio but you know we haven’t got new records since Daddy died,” you said as you continued your hunt. “And Roy don’t like all that new music. He says it’s no good.”
“Well, he doesn’t seem to like much, does he?” Arvin sniffed, “I always knew he was a grouch but I just thought it was the job.”
“He’s not… He’s just stressed. He works so much.” You looked down and settled on a button that was close enough. 
“You do too,” Arvin hid behind the magazine again. “You should be the one goin’ out and doin’ what you like on a Saturday. Hell, if he ain’t gonna spend his time with you, you should do something of your own.”
“I like sewing,” you shrugged as you threaded the button, “You know, it’s not so bad. I get time to myself. A lot of people can’t say that.”
“Sounds pretty lonely to me,” he flicked the page.
You were silent. You didn’t know how to respond. He was skirting around what he really wanted to say, what you didn’t want him to talk about. The tension in the air thickened as you feared he would admit that he knew or you might confess that your husband wasn’t much of one. Hell, you’d yet to accept that yourself.
Your fears were assuaged by the sudden clatter on the porch and the hinges of the door as it was swung open. You sat up and set aside Roy’s jacket. You stood as he staggered inside. He always did like to drink when he fished, or did much of anything else. You frowned as he tracked mud in on his tall rubber boots.
“Roy, you’re making a mess,” you said as you went to the doorway and watched him stumble around the entryway.
“Keep ya busy,” he slapped a hand on the wall and wiggled his leg free of a boot. “There’s a whole pail of fish out front too.”
“Mmm,” you hummed as his cheeks glowed. You doubted he’d be awake that long. “Well, I’ll just fry those up while you sit down.”
“Agh,” he tripped over his other boot as he slipped it off and Arvin brushed by you to catch him.
“Hey, Roy,” he took his arm, “How was the fishing? Why don’t you sit down? We’ll have a beer.”
“I almost forgot about you, boy,” he shook free of Arvin and ambled closer to you, “Maybe you can hide away after dinner for a while?”
He dragged his hand up your thigh and slapped your ass as he passed you. Arvin turned as Roy clumsily traipsed into the living room and fell onto the couch. He looked at you but you couldn’t stand to meet his.
“Sure,” Arvin uttered, “I’ll just go get those fish first.”
He disappeared through the front door and you crossed your arms as you turned to watch your husband. His head lolled as he chuckled.
“You think he ever fucked a girl?” He asked, “Boy tiptoes around like a virgin.”
“That’s crass, Roy,” you reproached.
“Don’t act so innocent,” he snapped, “If you didn’t, maybe I’d… well.”
His words trailed off and he closed his eyes. He yawned and sighed loudly. You grimaced and listened to the door as it hit the frame again. Arvin continued onto the kitchen as Roy began to snore. It must have been a record how quickly he’d passed out this time.
You went through to the kitchen as Arvin drained the water from the pail of fish. You went to the drawer and got a knife. You rest it on its end as you gripped it and looked out the window.
“He’s already out for the night,” you said, “You hungry?”
“I said I’d make the fish, I meant it.”
“Nah, I’ll flay them and put ‘em in the fridge,” you swallowed, “I’m sorry.”
“For what?”
“That you’re stuck here with us. Sorry he’s always drunk.” You looked down at the blade. You didn’t say what you really wanted to. Sorry you were stupid enough to choose Roy.
“That isn’t your fault and you know, I don’t mind it so much.” He neared, “We’re friends now, aren’t we? That’s worth it.”
You nodded but couldn’t smile. He always tried to make things seem nicer than they were. He was much better at it than you were.
“You comin’ to church tomorrow?”
“Of course,” he answered like it was obvious.
You turned away and laid out the fish across the cutting board. He stayed behind you, the record silenced and began to skip.
“I think I got somethin’ nice I can find.” He left you and the crackle of the Victrola died.
You slice the fish, careful not to cut your fingers as you deboned it and tossed away the heads and tails. You heard Arvin speak in a low voice and a grumble. Then heavy footsteps interspersed with lighter ones. The stairs groaned and you kept on, wrapping the filets in paper and tucking it away.
You cleaned up and washed the smell off your hands. The living room was empty so you climbed the stairs and found Roy face down on your bed. You turned to the open attic and Arvin descended the ladder.
“You got him to bed?” You tilted your head.
“Wasn’t so hard. Poked him a few times.” He grinned. “So what time do I needa be ready for church?”
“We leave about twenty minutes before service. It’s at eight.” You answered, “Oh, you know what--” You raised your index finger, “One sec.”
You spun and scurried into your father’s room. It was just as it had been before he died except now there were boxes stacked along one wall. You pushed open the closet and fluttered through the clothes hanging within. You pulled out the old grey suit and white shirt that had yet to yellow. You grabbed a tie from the drawer as you passed the dresser.
You smelled them as you went back to the door as Arvin peeked in.
“For church,” you held them out, “My daddy was a bit taller but he got skinny near the end. I can pin up the pants for you and you’ll look just fine.”
“Oh,” he face paled, “You-- I can’t--”
“Roy’ll never fit into these so please,” you pushed them against his chest. “And I don’t think he’ll be up in time for church so I need you to drive.”
He smiled and took the clothes. He hugged them as if they were precious. “Thank you. I’m gonna sound like you for a moment but you really didn’t have to.”
“You think I’m gonna forget that you promised to make the fish? It’ll be a nice Sunday night dinner.” You inhaled deeply, “I think that for tonight, I’m gonna lay down though.”
“Alright,” he let you past, “You have a good night.”
“You too,” you neared your bedroom door as Roy’s snores grew louder, “Might have to stuff my ears with cotton.”
🚬
As you expected, Roy was too hungover to get up for church. You didn’t really go for the sermons but your daddy made it a habit when you were young to make sure you got to see the other kids in town. Sunday school had socialised you in the circles of the small town but they had proven less than welcoming. And since you’d grown out of your education, you went to trade recipes with some of the other wives.
Arvin was awake before you. As you pulled a cardigan over your blue dress you stopped at the bottom of the stairs and he appeared from the front room.
“Oh, Arvin,” you smiled, “That suit looks real nice on you. And the pants…”
“I sewed them myself last night,” he lifted his foot, “Remembered a few stitches.” He straightened the jacket, “You look real good too.”
“Well, aren’t we a pair?” You chimed. “Gonna have to be since Roy hasn’t moved since you dragged him to bed.”
“After you,” he waved to the door, “Think we should get goin’. My daddy woulda whipped me being late for the lord’s prayer.
You led him out the door and climbed into the truck opposite him. He turned the ignition and the engine rumbled to life. You felt calm as you smelled the early morning dew and you looked out the window as he shifted into gear. The lush green grass passed you by and trees swayed as he steered along the old country road.
As always, the church was crowded. You and Arvin squeezed in at the back. He was quiet and sombre as you entered. As you sat, you looked over at him. His jaw squared as the preacher came out and began his weekly scourge. A fire burned behind Arvin’s brown irises and he scowled for a moment before his face went placid.
You looked forward and folded your hands as you listened to Father Milton. You never cared much for his talk of hellfire and brimstone, to be fair, your daddy didn’t either, but in a small town, everyone knew when one was away from service. Roy never cared what anyone thought but you had to deal with Noreen and the other ladies at the grocer or around town about their own tasks.
When mass finished, you stood but Arvin hesitated. He stared up at the altar before he finally rose. He nodded to you and followed you and the other worshippers out into the sun.
You heard your name as you headed for the truck. You stopped and Arvin did too. You turned as Noreen, a woman older than yourself who fashioned herself to be the model for all society ladies, approached you. She wore a wide-brimmed hat over her blonde hair and took short steps in her heels.
“You promised me that carrot cake recipe. The one with the raisins.” She said. “Now I’ve been hounding you for three weeks.”
“Oh, uh,” you unclasped your pocketbook and fished out the card you’d made sure to stow after last Sunday. “Right here. I’m sorry, Noreen, but I gotta get back.”
“Where is Roy? Was he off drinkin’ again? You know, the lord did warn us all against excess.”
“Well, perhaps we can get him to come next week and you can warn him,” Arvin intoned and Noreen looked over in shock.
“Excuse me. And who is this… man you have as your escort?”
“Roy is letting the attic out to him. They work together. This is Arvin.”
“Arvin Russell,” he introduced firmly. 
“That’s an unusual name,” Noreen remarked, “You’re not from here?”
“No, but from a place like this.” He countered, “I’m gonna go get the truck goin’.”
He turned without courtesy and marched away. You looked back to Noreen as she curled her lip.
“Oh, he is a rough one, isn’t he? You have that scoundrel livin’ with you?”
“He’s a good man. Helps around the house. It’s a big place and Missy Grable has a tenant of her own.”
“Missy Grable has a farmhand to tend the fields,” Noreen lifted her chin.
You weren’t certain what to say. Noreen always found issue with whatever you said and you hated to give her further reason to.
“Well, here’s the recipe. I really ought to go.” You said.
“I understand, honey,” She smirked, “Your husband needs his caretaker… oh sorry, wife.”
You flinched but said nothing else. Your shoulders dropped as you turned away and dragged your heels through the dirt. You opened the truck and climbed in without a word. You clutched your pocketbook and stared ahead as Arvin back out of the lot.
“Pardon my saying so and I don’t use this word often, but she was a bitch,” Arvin said. “Remind me why I ain’t go to church.”
You looked down and nervously unclasped and unclasped your purse. “You didn’t have to come.”
“No, it’s your house and I wanna be a good guest,” he said, “It’s nothing to do with you.”
You scoffed and shook your head. “My daddy hated goin’ too but he didn’t want me to be ostracised, you know? He told me, near the end, that he stopped believin’ durin’ the war. He said no god would let the things happen that he saw.” You leaned against the door and watched the buildings pass. “Seein’ how these Christians act, I can’t blame him.”
Arvin was quiet as you left the main street and the house began to thin out until the country sprawled out around you.
“My sister…” he said so low you barely heard him. He cleared his throat and spoke louder. “My cousin, she was tricked by a preacher man. She was young and too willing to love. And he was just a liar. He knocked her up then refused her.” His voice was brittle and you glanced over as his hand tightened on the steering wheel. “She hung herself but it was that snake-tongued charlatan who killed her.” He shook his head. “No god would take her like that. No god would let a man sworn to him trick the innocent.” He rubbed his forehead as his eyes bore into the distance, “I’m sorry. Just been a while since I sat in a pew.”
“No, I’m… sorry. Sorry about your cousin.” You said, “I didn’t-- You can stay home next week.”
He pondered it and a little smile curled his lips. “Don’t think I will. Think I’d like to see that Noreen again. Maybe say a prayer for her soul, wherever it may be.”
🚬
Roy was still in bed when you got home. You tried to rouse him and he swatted you away. You brought him a sandwich and some water and left it beside him. You went back down to clean up as Arvin sat in the front room, As you wiped your hands, the record player buzzed and a tune rose on noontime air.
You went to the living room as Arvin stood straight and you listened to the smooth tones of Sinatra. He turned to you as you entered. 
“I like this one,” you said. 
“Me too,” He had shed the jacket and unbuttoned the top button of his shirt, his tie disposed of. He turned his palm up as he stepped away from the player. “You dance?”
You giggled and shook your head. “No, not much of a dancer. Roy wouldn’t even at the wedding.”
“Come on. It’s a good song.” He got closer and began to sing out of tune, “I get no kick from champagne. Mere alcohol doesn't thrill me at all…”
You shied away and he caught your hand. You let him draw you closer and smiled as your cheeks warmed up.
“Just follow my lead,” he urged as he moved his feet, “Don’t look down, just one, two, one, two…” 
You moved your feet around his as he swayed you and turned you on the spot. His hand settled on your lower back and you grasped his shoulders. You were jittery as you moved with him in time to the music.
“Arvin…” You breathed. 
“Every pretty girl should dance,” he said, “I’d say you’re a hell of a dancer for a beginner.”
“Thanks,” you trilled and settled into his embrace.
“I mean it. You deserve more.” He leaned closer and you felt his hot breath on you. “You deserve the world.”
You smiled as he gazed across at you. Your heart leapt as there was a sudden clamour by the stairs and you pushed away from Arvin as Roy stomped into the doorframe. His hand fell away from your back and you tiptoed over to your husband.
“Roy, you’re awake? How ya feelin’?”
“All this goddamn noise you makin’ down here,” he grumbled, “Shut off that dang thing. There’s a game on.”
You flitted away and turned off the Victrola. You looked at Arvin as he watched Roy. He looked irritated and repulsed by the man.
“I gotta do some chores,” you muttered. “You boys enjoy the game.”
“I think I’m just gonna go upstairs,” Arvin tucked his hands in his pockets. “I’ll be down to cook that fish in a bit.”
You watched the younger man leave and Roy turned the dial on the radio. Your husband flopped onto the couch as the commentator’s voice filled the room.
“How about a beer?” He demanded, not asked.
🚬
The day turned to night. Dinner was quiet and tense. Roy didn’t drink as much as the day before but the alcohol made little difference. Arvin was pensive and seemed to lose himself in thought. You were nervous as you thought of the dance and your temperamental husband.
You hadn’t done anything wrong. It was just a dance. How come Roy could spend his days drunk and dozing and you couldn’t do anything you liked?
You cleaned up after supper. Arvin retreated to his room once more as Roy sat in the living room with another bottle and you tidied up. You cleared the last of the mess and looked out into the front room. Roy belched and sneered as he saw you.
“Wife,” he beckoned you forward with two fingers, “What did you do today?”
“Went to church. Cleaned.” You edged closer. “That’s all. I was real worried about you, Roy.”
“Were you?” He snorted and stood as he dropped his bottle on the table. “You didn’t seem too bothered when I came down.”
“What do you mean?” You stopped a foot away from him.
“You and that kid. You get on real well, don’t ya?” He snickered. “You down here dancing.”
“Just a dance, Roy,” you said meekly, “I didn’t wanna be rude.”
“You just wanna be a whore,” he snarled, “Huh? What you doin’ with that boy? I’m your husband.”
“I know, I know that, Roy. I never-- I didn’t do nothing.” You pleaded as he stepped closer. “I was just waitin’ for you to wake up.”
“Shut your fucking mouth,” he hissed as he grabbed the back of your head and thrust you close to him. “You been doin’ everything but what a wife is meant for.”
He tore open the front of your dress and you cried out. “I’m gonna fuck you and let that boy hear who you belong to.”
“Stop, please.”
“Stop!? This is what you promised me, dear wife.”
You struggled with him as the smell of alcohol on his breath made you cringe. He spun you and shoved you so hard you stumbled back against the couch. You got up as he ambled after you and were knocked back by his fist. You cradled your cheek as you fell onto the cushions.
He pushed you up against the back of the couch and tried to wrench your legs apart. You squeezed your knees together and slapped at him blindly as fear bubbled in your veins. He forced your legs open and knelt on the couch between them. He grabbed your throat as you tried to wriggle away and he struck you again. He never hit your face; he didn’t like people to see what he did to you.
“I’ll show you,” he muttered, “I’ll show you, you little whore.”
He reached for his fly but his face mirrored your shock as he suddenly stilled and for a moment, he froze in time before he fell back onto the floor. Arvin stepped aside to avoid the crash and turned to hit him across the face. Roy’s brow split and began to stream with blood.
Arvin struck him a third time and pointed the gun at his head as he laid prone on the floor. Roy touched the back of his skull as he stared up barrel. The whack from the butt of the gun would likely leave a worse lump than his punches.
“Get up and go.” Arvin growled. “Or I’m gonna smear this carpet with your brains.”
“Are you crazy? This is my house!” Roy barked and pushed himself up. The pistol clicked and Arvin pressed it to his head. 
“It’s her daddy’s house.”
“She’s my wife, boy.”
“You don’t act like no husband,” Arvin said gruffly, “You think I’m scared? Think I haven’t shot a man before?”
“Sure you have, boy.”
“It’s different. You go out and you hunt your bucks and they don’t know what’s comin’, they don’t even know when they shot. But a man, oh he knows to the end. He begs, even if he can’t speak, he does. It’s in his eyes, in the way he gurgles as the life drains from his lips.” Arvin kicked Roy, “And once I pull this trigger, you’ll be begging too but it’ll be too late and there ain’t no words you can say to stop the blood. So you shut up and you go before you can’t.”
You were paralysed on the couch. Your head throbbed as you couldn’t believe what you were seeing. You trembled as Roy stood slowly and winced as Arvin followed his movement with the muzzle of the gun. Arvin followed your husband to the door and you heard the sharp whine of the other before it clattered shut. 
Crickets chirped as dirt stirred beneath feet and you heard the old truck shudder to life. The door snapped shut and locked loudly. Arvin appeared and lowered the gun. You stared at it as he came close. He set it on the table and sat beside you as he touched your face and you winced.
“Are you okay?” He asked as he pulled you against him, “I’m sorry he hurt you. I shoulda-- shoulda been faster.”
“Arv…” Your voice turned to a wisp and you let him hold you.
“Shhh, it’s okay. I got you now.”
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ficforthought · 3 years
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The state of fandom, J2 things & me being done with shitty people!
So, I’m late to the party however 2021 is finally here. To date not an improvement on 2020 but the year is still young and there are always positives to be found for those who care to see them. Even though Supernatural is over now *muffled sobs* some out there still can't get over their issues with the show or the finalé enough to stop constantly bitching about it. Everyone has their opinion, I'm not 100% happy with it myself but we got so much good stuff that the ending was fitting and mostly positive. I firmly believe that Dean did deserve better, though I was as prepared for his death as much as I could be because it was what I anticipated would happen, though hoped it wouldn’t actually happen. It doesn't make it any less heartbreaking or mean that I don't wish he'd got more time with Sam and Miracle, it just means that I've accepted what we got which ultimately was Sam and Dean together forever, and that's what I wanted above anything else. Almost two months after the show has ended I'm seeing the same things time and time again, some from seasons ago...like six or seven seasons ago! SMH.  I've never actually had my say on it publicly because I chose to step away to process it all. Now I'm bored of the same things being said ad nauseam so I'm laying out my thoughts on the situation as a whole and then getting on with my fandom life.
I have always been - and will always be - a Jensen/Dean girl, however I also adore Jared/Sam and have no interest in seeing any BS about either of them. Why people feel the need to put one down to make 'their' J look 'better', I will never know. Why people question J2's friendship and say it's not going to be solid after the show is also beyond me. It'll certainly be different because they won't be physically spending the time together like they did, but the core relationship is still there, that doesn't just go away because they're not on set together. They're both moving on to other things which is hard to see, but also great as well because they will have new audiences and new showcases for their talents. New doors will be opened and they can explore their passion projects with what lessons they learned on SPN. They gave us so much for fifteen years, the least the fandom can do is let them move on to those new things in peace, right? Let the drama and infighting stay in the past. None of us will ever forget SPN, least of all J2, so anyone who actually cares about the actors and not just characters, IMO, should to continue to support them...but if people don't want to do that? That's fine, nobody is forcing us to watch everything they do from now on. Liking Sam and Dean is enough, not everyone is interested in what J2 or other cast members do from here on out but for the love of everything you hold dear, STFU and move on with your bitching. I'm not saying I'll watch everything they're involved in but I'll support J2 with everything I have regardless of whether I watch whatever it is, because I do care. That also goes for my other favourites from the cast. Support comes in many forms - a simple reblog, retweet or liking an IG post is all support and the minimum those of us who spend a lot of time on social media can do, it's a few taps on the screen or clicks of a mouse. We should also never forget that J2's biggest supporters are J2 themselves, no matter what. They are under no obligation to like each other's posts or publicly support everything the other does - yes, it's nice to see that, however, there is more to life than social media. None of us know how much J2 and the other cast communicate with each other privately. They let us into their lives for a decade and a half, they openly talked about their friendship, their families, and their own children. I know more about J2's kids than I do about any of my colleagues’ kids and grandkids, not because I want to (it's none of my business) but because they've put it out there so it's impossible to avoid. They’re actors, they didn’t have to do that but they chose to because they’re wonderful humans and know that the majority of the SPN Family are good people.
Everywhere I turn ATM there are more and more Jared articles and pictures because of Walker and Mantra Labs, and you know what? Even though I'm a Jensen girl I'm genuinely happy for Jared, and am looking forward to Walker and everything that will bring him. Am I bitter that there's been so little Jensen content? No. Disappointed? Yeah, a little, but that's because I always want Jensen content, why wouldn't I? He's amazing, and his time in the spotlight will come but for now its Jared's turn and I'm proud of how well he's doing, all the attention for Walker and other things going on in his life, like the Men's Health article. He looks so happy and excited to work on new things.
From a Jensen PoV I'm thrilled we've had the - too short but still lovely - snow covered snippets, and we've got all of the filming and BTS stuff to come from The Boys S3, then all the build up to it airing as well as when we finally get to see it. It's going to be a very long wait (and JFC does it already feel like a long wait!), but it will be worth it.
I said last year that 2021 would see changes here in terms of who I follow, what content I post etc and you'll start to see that. I will unfollow anyone who repeatedly posts negative and/or derogatory comments about either J, or any cast member I care about. I don't like seeing shit about those I have no interest in, either, but I make use of filters so I don't see very much anyway. Twitter continues to be a cesspool of hate and toxicity, it's never going to change but the mute/block functions are there to be used. It's never possible to only see positive things in life, but I certainly intend to do my part to make my online fandom experience as positive as possible. I know lots of you here do the same thing, so that's already a bonus! Other fandoms will be on my blog as well as SPN and I always tag so feel free to filter those out, or if you're only interested in my SPN posts and/or fics, hit that unfollow button here if that's what you feel you want to do, and subscribe on AO3 instead if you only want fic. It's all good, do whatever you need to do to tailor your experience to your specifications. Fandom spaces should be somewhere we enjoy being otherwise there's just no point.
OK, I think I'm done! 😆 Happy new year and I hope everyone is keeping themselves and other people safe and healthy.
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im-a-goddamn-cat · 4 years
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Tagged by @whats-a-mulder (edit: and @mypanicface); ty!
Answer 17 questions and tag 17 people. And please make a new post instead of reblogging, thank you!
Name: Shannon
Age: 20
Zodiac: Aries
Height: 5′3
Hogwarts House: I've never read nor seen any Harry Potter books/movies and I've never taken any sort of quiz so... I have no idea lol
The last thing I googled: An American Werewolf in London
Song stuck in my head: DJ Hit That Button by Dead or Alive
Number of Followers: 1,712
Amount of Sleep: Anywhere between 6 and 9 hours
Lucky number: I don't have one!
Wearing: An X-Files t-shirt and pajama shorts
Favourite Song: This is changing all the time, but right now it's the same one I mentioned above: DJ Hit That Button by Dead or Alive
Favourite instrument: Idk! Maybe piano
Favourite Author: Bold of you to assume I read books (Seriously though, l haven't read a book in years... 🤡)
Aesthetic: Hmm idk... I love a lot of things, it's hard to pick out specific ones
Favourite animal sounds: Any happy cat noises (meows, purrs, trills, etc.)
Random: Damn, my mind is blanking rn (I'm tired lol) and I can't think of anything so I will just say again for the millionth time: I love cats; they're my favorite animal. I collect various cat knick knacks!
Holy shit, 17 people 😳 Uhh... @suitablyaggrieved @baronessblixen @tinglingworld @impulsive-astrophile @ariverofsongs @biferris @universalclara @mulder-its-me-223 @freckleslikestars @fighthefuture1998 @dnscully @queenvevo @scorpioskys @iusedtoknowwhatawishwasfor @algerianisms @adamyeehaw @crazycaprine and anyone else who wants to do it! (y'all don't have to do it if you don't want to or if you've already done it recently!)
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Play Time |2|
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Sub Jungkook x CEO Reader
Summary: Your day has been terrible and boring, luckily for you you have a boyfriend who knows just what you need.
A/N: So this will Part 2 of a 2 part concept. This Part Sub-BTS, The 1st is be a Sub-Reader with J-Hope. Check out the masterlist for part 1!
Words:2318
Warnings: SMUT (domme reader, wax play, toys), swearing,
Not as happy with this part as part 1 but hey ho.
Reblog, comment and Like :) and definitely enjoy!
“Ready for boredom overload?” his voice an instant calmer to your agitated mood.
“Nope, kill me please. I’d rather be having dinner with my boyfriend if I’m honest”
“I’m sure he’ll save you dessert”
“Oh my god you got dessert, tell me” you demanded voice pitching higher.
“It’s a surprise”
“I hate you” you toyed “anyway babe I have to go, if you feel like saving me email me”
“Will do, see you later”
You hated these meetings, you only had to be there as a witness, a board member had to be present just to sign off that everything was discussed all above board and today was your unfortunate turn. On one hand it was a good thing it was boring it meant your quality team was at the top of its game and you never had to intervene, but for your brain you’re sure it definitely killed off some brain cells. You sighed a breath which you kind of hoped would be your last for a few hours. It didn’t help it was the end of the day not to mention the end of the week, your heels were left behind at your desk, your grey pinstripe waist coat unbuttoned and you craved to take off your bra.
You were greeted with polite smiles and a seriously quiet room, being CEO always commands that kind of respect and behaviour but jeez you were the most relaxed CEO going. You sat at the head of the table in the boardroom. The sky outside lacked the same activity as inside, no stars, no flickering plane lights, just darkness with a small glimmer of the night haze seeping up into view at the bottom of the windows
“You may begin gentlemen” you announced. Your eyes snapped quickly back to the laptop in front of you and carried on making your way through your emails.
 A small box in the corner of the screen popped up bringing you a moment’s smile. Jungkook the diamond had emailed your personal inbox.
-I was thinking of this for dessert? -
The email carried with it a jpeg attachment.
Please be chocolate cake you thought enthusiastically.
Fuck. You was not expecting that. Your skin flushed hot quicker than you could control the smirk growing on your face.  In front of you was picture of a picture of a collar round Jungkook’s neck.
-So you want to play?-
-Yeah, please don’t be late noona-
You became fidgety in your seat, it was hard to keep your face neutral as all the possibilities were buzzing round your mind.
-who says we have to wait until I’m home. You’ve been good so go and pick four toys and send me a picture.-
You lent an ear to the actual meeting, you sensed the main topics had been discussed and the smaller ones were being thrown the table, the meeting was losing steam, slowly.
finally!.
You clicked open the latest picture. There was no way the smirk was holding back now as your eyes roamed the picture.
Every time you heard a sentence come to an end your hopes lifted with your head to actually observe the meeting, sinking back down into the chair when they carried on.
It wasn’t too long before the team were summarising and that’s when you drafted your response to Jungkook.
-put the beads in, headphones and blindfold on and wait for me like a good bunny. Leaving in 5-
 Your brain switched to autopilot on the drive home, you didn’t even remember the drive, a blank void of nothingness. You crept through the apartment walking on eggshells, you wanted no unnecessary noise to alert Kook you were home. You were confident he’d do as you asked but you also knew it drove him crazy when you made him wait, patience has by far been the most challenging thing to instil in that guy; he’d be a tense mess, senses heightened awaiting any of the different sensations of the items he’d picked. Before you allowed yourself to slip fully into the situation your heart melted and you looked in awe at the figure sat legs under him on the floor. He’d done as you asked perfectly, with the addition of lighting your favourite candles, flames dancing emitting a calming vanilla essence into the air; your favourite purple silk sheets blanketed the bed.
Jungkook was a marble statue of perfection waiting for the kiss that would bring him back to you. His choices were on top of chest of drawers. A set of paints for you turn him into a writhing begging mess, his bare skin a blank canvas to create as you see fit.
You knelt down in front of him, pressed a delicate kiss to his lips, hooking a finger through the O-ring on his leather collar. He inhaled sharply, the kiss brought him to life in front of you. You pulled his ear buds from his ears returning his hearing momentarily.
“You spoil me” you said at his ear gently nipping his ear lobe.
“Do you like the room noona?” he spoke quietly
“I love it baby, what did I do to deserve such a sweet Kookie” He practically glowed at your praise. His arms stayed silent against the tops of his thighs. “As a reward I won’t restrain you tonight and you can use your hands” his bright smile beamed, such a contrast from the black blindfold that separated his dark needy eyes from you.
“Can I please see you” he asked optimistically. You interlocked your fingers with his and helped him to standing, slowly swept the blindfold up to rest on his forehead, the dark hair falling in straight beams around your fingers. His eyes shone brightly, eclipsing you and blocking everything around you to a blur.
You launched yourself into the light, hand snaking through the back of his hair securing him close to you and his lips met yours fully, your other hand made a climb up his chest to rest at the base of his neck. He always tasted do sweet.
“I said you can use your hands” you reiterated as you became aware his hands remained at his side, at your words they soon moved to trace your waist until he held you at your hips.
“On the bed, blindfold back on and take the ear buds with you” no softness lingered in your voice. When he was settled you shed your waistcoat, blouse and trousers leaving only your underwear on your skin. You grabbed the cock-ring, vibrating nipple clamps, remote for the beads and feather tickler whose other end also doubled as a small riding crop. You placed them on the bed next to him. Before you joined him on the bed you also picked up one of the candles and reached to put it on the shelf just above the head board.
“I suppose I should put this on first.” grabbing the ring and getting yourself in between in his legs. He’d picked the one which had a bullet attached to the top of it. Even with the power off you felt the ghost of the buzz at the apex of your thighs.
“Ugh…” he whined. When you sat straddling his hips and sat back his cock sat at your own arousal, you needed to exercise your own restraint to not grind.
“You’re to be quiet, every time you make a noise you’ll be punished understand?”
“Yes” he replied through a controlled breath.
“Yes what?” you gripped his lower jaw.
“Yes miss” he quickly corrected.
“Better” you shifted your weight to reach the clamps. Jungkook bit hard on his lip, rolling his head to side to side, his hips jolting slightly into you, a sigh forcing its way out past your lips. You negated to turn them on for the moment and sat back and watched the calmness settle back onto his expression.
“Headphones back in” You clicked the button on the beads remote. You had to admit he did well the sudden change, only shifting himself underneath you when you increased the power.
“Fu…” his hands twisted in the sheets funnelling out the pleasure as he cut his words off mid-way. The smirk on your face was triumphant if not cocky.
You clicked the remote off as your hand tipped the candle.
He inhaled through pursed lips as the sting of the solidifying wax pinched at his skin. His hands flew to the side of your thighs, fingers denting your skin. You hit pause on his music.
“Ready for more?” you checked with the guy at your mercy underneath you.
“Yes noona”. Your body finally lost some of its composure to rock your hips to feel something to take the edge off the pressure.
“Can you feel just what you do to me?” He replied with a small nod, bottom lip still caught between his teeth. You danced the feather at his neck which fell to side with the delicate touch, tracing the entirety of his chest slowly gliding down lower. You flicked your wrist sending the back end of the feather whipping against his thigh with the leather end. His mouth opened with no sound escaping.
“You’re getting good at this. Let’s make it harder” his cheeks creased, the creases disappearing under the blindfold. He knew what was coming. The switch now on both of the clamps and beads. His head digging into the mattress, his desperation culminating as small beads of sweat at his forehead. His cock twitching temptingly close to your entrance.
A trail of exasperated whines and moans left him as his walls of control fell. They only grew louder as the hot wax trickled onto his skin.
“Yellow, yellow” he cried. This was only his warning safe word, you stopped all electronics. The void of buzzing left only the breathless moans falling from each of you emanating into the room. The blindfold made its exit onto the floor, you stroked his cheek.
“Whats’s the matter baby?” his puplil were dilated, swelling pools of pleasure
“Just the ring, it’s getting too painful”
“Want me to take it off?”
“No” you adjusted yourself so your weight was no longer pressed onto him. “Just loosen it please”.
You did as he asked
“Better?” He nodded with an exhausted smile.
“I just want you fuck me now, just say please” you wished in his ear, you allowed him to remove the beads, he pushed himself up onto his hands until he was more less sat up, legs wrapped at his waist.
“Um actually” Jungkooks face washed with an ‘are you kidding look” as you stopped yourself lowering onto him
“Fuck Y/N please!” His eyes peeking through his wet fringe looking pleadingly up at you.
“I think for someone who has use of their hands you’ve not used them enough”
The grin erased any desperation from his expression
“Was you thinking more along the lines of this?”
You couldn’t even respond with words when he pushed you forward tilting you back, fingertips anchoring into the back of his shoulders for support, his fingers now pressed into you stroking at the front of your walls
“This…is much better” you eventually managed. Back arched, chest pressed to his, his heart reaching out for yours. With his palm applying sweet pressure at your clit you was on the edge way quicker than you would be.
 “Wait… wait” you panted, Jungkook quickly halted his movements in time leaving your climax waning away from the edge.
“Enough hands” no authority was left in your voice, it was now just need and thankfully Jungkook was perfectly tuned into you. His hands were replaced, you both spilled out moans of relief. His head was in line to have full access at your neck which was quickly lathered with heavy kisses and nips, your hand travelled down finally activating the bullet attached to the cock ring. You threw your head down nuzzling into his neck your hips circling in small movements.
“You can cum with me today baby, you’ve been so good.”
Knowing he wasn’t going to be denied knocked his hips into motion.
“Fuck noona, I wouldn’t have been able to hold anything today” he whimpered. You breathed a chuckle
“Shut up” you teased before absorbing each other in a heated kiss worthy of burning through the sheets. His hips bucked into you but the thrusts were gentle enough that the bullet never deprived you of stimulation. With both your breathing patterns becoming more ragged, moans becoming more desperate and increasing in volume; the coil threads wound so tight in you core you almost forgot to breathe.
You were the one to fall off the edge first.
“Jungko…” Your heart stopped, your orgasm wiped you out, draining your muscles and overpowering your pleasure centre.
The noise that he made could have easily sent you spiralling again as your clenching dragged him into his own version of bliss. A line of curses flowed past his lips.
 “Please be bored every time you have a meeting” Jungkook panted into your chest.
“Please send me pictures every time I have a meeting” you countered stroking the back of his hair.
Neither of you wanted to move, you both sulked when you separated apart.
“Honestly that ring makes me cum so hard, it’s the best present you’ve ever bought me” Jungkook looked as fucked as he does after being in the dance studio for a day.
“Oh that reminds me baby there’s some banana milk in the fridge for you” you curled in behind him wrapping your arms round his waist and pressed a soft kiss to his back, all Jungkook ever wants after is to be close in which he ultimately always ends up being the little spoon.
“You are literally the best! Love you” he announced kissing the back of your hand as he felt the crease of your smile at his back.
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She Makes Me Sin - Chapter 13 (Role Reversal AU - Ben SoloxOC)
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Warnings: MORE FILTH, A LOT OF FILTH, Voyeurism, Oral sex, Face sitting, Masurbation, Dom/Sub Relationships, Language, Punishments, Spanking, Hair pulling, Ben Solo has a pain kink, Crying, Riding crops  
Let me know if you would like to be added to the taglist. If you liked what you read please leave some kudos or maybe a reblog or comment. Consider hitting the follow button too for more content.
Chapter 13
Ben’s P.O.V
Cora was back but still hadn’t visited me. The day was almost out, and she hadn’t even poked her head in for a simple ‘hello’. I was upset. I understood she was busy, but I still expected some sort of attention from her. How else would I make myself her favourite otherwise? I bet that’s who she was with now, I bet the General was loving this attention from her. I had to see her again, I couldn’t wait any longer. I’d be venturing out of my room alone for the first time. If I wasn’t so blinded by jealousy I’d be hesitant. I exited my room and made my way to the Generals. Cora had pointed it out to me when she’d given me a tour, I’d memorized every significant location.
Navigating to his room was easier than expected. There was hardly anybody walking the halls at this time. I paused outside the door as I heard a soft moan from inside. There was no doubt that was Cora. She moaned again, a little louder this time. She should be making those sounds for me. I opened the door a crack, peering inside. Hux was led on the bed whilst Cora was sat on his face, receiving oral. She was facing the door, her eyes closed in pleasure. She looked beautiful, like a goddess. Her pale skin was softer than any fine silk and velvet in the galaxy. The sight of her rolling her hips for more pleasure had me growing hard. It should be me between those muscular thighs.
I should be the one making her moan and gasp in pleasure. I continued to watch, Cora’s moans growing louder meaning she was close. My cock was fully hard, throbbing at the sight of her. I resisted the urge to start touching myself here. I could do that back at the safety of my room and she would never find out, meaning I wouldn’t get punished. Cora threw her head back, crying out her release. Her black hair cascaded down her back as her moans grew softer. She really was a sight to behold when she was cumming. I closed the door as quietly as I could before retreating to my room. I closed the door behind me and got myself comfortable on my bed.
My hand moved down to the rather noticeable bulge between my legs. I bit my lip holding in a soft groan as I palmed myself through my robes. If Cora knew, I was going to be in big trouble, so I couldn't waste anytime. The sooner I got myself off the better. I loosened my robes and slipped them down my hips a little. My cock sprung free, coming into contact with the cool air. I wrapped my hand around myself and started pumping. Slow at first, imagining it were Cora’s hand instead of mine. I groaned, missing her touch.
I knew I was in far too deep with her for my own good but there was no way back from it now. I would be seen as a traitor to my own cause. I would have my Jedi title taken from me, probably cast out by the resistance and my own family. But Cora would be there, she would always be there for me. I adored her and any praise she gave me. I loved to hear how well I was doing and how much of a good boy I was for her. Only her, I would never want anyone else.
I continued stroking myself imagining her mouth wrapped around my length. This forced a loud moan from me. Having her use her mouth on me was a rare thing, only when she was feeling particularity generous would she give me head. I relished those rare occasions. I hoped I was the only toy she would do that for, but something told me General Hux would receive oral from her occasionally too and the thought made me jealous.
My pace quickened. I should be good enough for her, her only toy. I had thoughts of turning the tables one day and proving my worth, I would show her that she was mine and that from now on she would just submit to me. But there were a few outcomes to that and only one of them were good. The others were more likely, she’d kill me and my cause would have been all for nothing.
I rubbed my thumb over the head of my cock catching a bead of pre-come. I tightened my grip a little more, making a twisting motion when my hand reached the head. It drew more moans from me. This was how she would touch me but of course my hand was not hers. I was getting close now and I sped up once more for the final few strokes. My head fell back against the head board as I moaned her name. As if on cue the door to my room opened and she entered my room.
“Oh fuck,” I cursed, half for being caught and half for reaching my climax. I spilled myself on to my hand and a little on my chest. Cora smiled and stepped further in to the room. I swallowed hard, not daring to move. “Now darling what were one of my rules?” She asked in the sweetest voice she could manage. “I’m sorry mistress, I couldn’t help myself, I couldn't stop thinking about you.” “Is that so?” “Yes mistress. Please don’t punish me.”
Her smile grew in to a wicked grin and she pulled the riding crop from her belt. She studied it a little before returning her attention to me. She brought the crop down on my inner thigh, earning a yelp from me. I wasn’t used to the pain yet, nor the feel of a riding crop. She swatted my chest this time, leaving a red mark across my skin. “So, you just couldn’t help yourself? Couldn’t wait five more minutes?” She asked. “I needed to see you again, I couldn’t wait any longer.” “Tonight’s lesson shall be in patience then. A shame really, I was looking forward to getting my hands on you again.” I felt angry at myself for that. if I’d just waited a little longer she would have given me what I’d wanted. I’d ruined that and made her angry and disappointed with me.
“Clean yourself up and then I want you on your knees at the foot of the bed,” Cora ordered. “Yes, mistress.” I went to the bathroom, quickly cleaning myself off before returning to her. I kneeled where she’d asked and averted my gaze to the floor. Cora stepped closer so that her boots were in my line of sight. The crop ran across my cheek and down to my chin. She used it to tilt my head and make me look at her. “What was it that made you touch yourself? The thought that tipped you over the edge?” She asked. “I just wanted you, mistress. That’s all,” I lied.
Cora saw through my lie and swatted me hard across the chest with the crop. It stung before turning into a throb. “Don’t break any other rules tonight Ben or this can get a lot worse for you,” she warned. I was afraid of how much trouble I would get into for telling her the truth, yet I would still get in trouble for lying. There was no way out of punishment. “I went to Hux’s room to find you. I did just you were sat on his face,” I mumbled. Cora smirked wickedly, “you must have liked what you saw, why else would you have touched yourself.” “I liked watching you, that’s all.” “I had no idea my little Ben Solo was a voyeur, but that opens a whole new door for fun. You want me to let you in on a little secret?”
I was afraid to know but I had no choice, I forced myself to nod. She crouched down so she was eye level with me. “I knew you were watching. I felt your force presence outside the door the whole time,” she grinned. I swallowed hard, afraid to tear my gaze away from her, yet afraid to keep looking. “You don’t need to be embarrassed. Perhaps I’ll let you watch more often, if you’re a good boy,” she reassured. She stood back upright, removing her dress. I stole a small glance at her. matching black lacy bra and panties. It amazed me how something as simple as that would become the most enticing thing on her body.
“On your hands and knees please, bad boys get spankings,” she spoke. I did as I was told, swallowing hard. This felt ridiculous. I was a grown man, letting a woman spank me. “You’ll count each one and when we’re done you’ll thank me, understood?” She asked. “Yes mistress.” Cora got on her knees by my side, drawing her hand back before delivering the first blow. I forced myself to stay quiet, I wouldn’t make a sound other than counting. How hard could this be? “One,” I counted. Her hand came back down again only it wasn’t in the same spot as before, she wanted to spread the pain.
I grit my teeth, “two.” I was breathing heavily, trying not to focus on the sting. Yet it was all I could focus on, the heat that was growing, the pain, the hardness of my cock. I had no idea why I was finding this arousing when it was painful. Did I like the pain? The third spank took me by surprise, forcing a soft sound from me. “Three.” The fourth and fifth came in quick succession. I made another small sound before remembering to count them. She took her time before delivering the sixth one. The seventh was dangerously close to the backs of my thighs. The eighth and ninth came one after the other.
The tenth forced a pained grunt from me. as well as a tear, why the fuck was I crying? It hadn’t even hurt that much. Maybe it was how humiliating the situation was. Yet I was still rock hard. I didn’t understand. Something like this should be a turn off. “Thank you,” I managed, my voice sounded a little strained. Cora grabbed a fistful of my hair and pulled back hard enough that I was kneeling again. The moan that escaped me surprised me. Cora wiped my tear away, smiling like she knew something I didn’t. “You liked that, didn’t you?” She asked. “I…I don’t know…I feel like I shouldn’t have.” “It’s a punishment, you shouldn’t really enjoy all of it. But it seems you have a thing for pain and humiliation.”
I still didn’t understand why. It made no sense to me at all. How could I take pleasure in pain? Cora could sense my discomfort and offered me comfort. “Its okay Ben. A lot of people enjoy pain, it’s not weird or something for you to freak out over. Your over thinking things as usual,” she spoke. “It’s just new and I don’t get it.” “And that’s okay, your discovering things about yourself, as am I.” She stroked my hair, which slowly began to calm me. I nestled into her touch, wanting more of it. I wanted her, all of her at once. I needed her to make the ache go away. Cora could sense my need and pushed me away with a giggle. “You still broke a rule Ben and it seems I need to find a better punishment,” she explained.
She got to her feet and redressed herself. I grabbed her wrist, pleading with my eyes. She cocked head, urging me to speak. “Please, don’t go,” I pleaded. “This is punishment. You touch yourself, I wont touch you. Goodnight Ben.” With that she tore her wrist away and exited my room, leaving me with a problem that didn’t look to be going down anytime soon.
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dumbchickwrites · 5 years
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the end of the rainbow 🌈 — part 6
Pairings: Sam Wilson x OC! Iris Fury
Warnings: mentions of smut, plot within the plot ~ a subplot, if you will.
Words: 2257.
Summary: Former S.H.I.E.L.D. agent Iris Fury, daughter of Nick Fury, is called by her father to assist the Avengers while agent Romanoff recovers from a few wounds. A certain Falcon catches her eye. Follow Iris and Sam as they take a walk on the rainbow and eventually find out what hides at the end of that beautiful path.
A/N: sorry, no keep reading tag since I’m on mobile. no, I haven’t forgotten about your requests! they’re coming, I promise! also, I got carried away lol, this part and the next will pretty much be an Avengers movie🤷🏾‍♀️
Please comment and reblog if you enjoy! <3
***
One last time, she thought, staring at her reflection in the mirror. One last time then she'd tell him the truth, and it will be over.
Sam wanted to have that romantic dinner tonight, since it was Iris' actual birthday. She couldn't say no to him when he asked her on their first official date. Not when he looked at her, smile bright and eyes soft with adoration. So she said yes.
He was already waiting for her at his flat in the city. He'd left the compound in the early afternoon to get everything ready up there. Now it was almost time for Iris to join him.
A car was waiting for her outside. It would drive her there on autopilot then come back to the compound. She made her way down the stairs discreetly, careful not to step into a member of the team. She couldn't handle their disapproving gazes anymore.
New York City, as always, was buzzing with lights and excitement as the car made its way through the packed streets. Iris found herself growing more and more nervous as the car approached the red dot on the map. How should she tell him? When? How would he react? Or maybe she should just... leave?
A sigh fell off her lips as she laid her head back on the headrest.
She never should have agreed to come back to the US in the first place. Now she had a lover on one side of the Atlantic ocean, and a family on the other. Selfish and cruel. That was what she was. Not sparing a thought to the people she hurt.
"You have arrived to your destination."
The voice snapped Iris out of her thoughts. Her eyes scanned her surroundings before she allowed herself to step out of the grey car. She stepped into the building, her heels clinking on the floor. The receptionist greeted her, a polite smile on his face. After introducing herself and telling him why she was here, he kindly directed her to Sam's apartment.
Sam was certain he'd never been this nervous in his entire life. Not even during the first flight test with the EXO-7 wings. His apartment was filled with mouth-watering smells from the food he'd prepared - a three course meal for his girl. He had an arrangement of blue irises and red roses on the the table, soft music was playing in the background, setting a romantic atmosphere along with a few candles.
The sound of the doorbell resonated in the home, and his heart fell to the bottom of his stomach. On his way to the door, he stopped in front of the mirror to check his reflection one last time.
Breath got caught in his throat as he opened the door. A simple navy blue flared dress and heeled sandals was all she wore. Her hair was pinned in her regular sleek bun while small silver hoops adorned her ears.
"Hey," she flashed her a smile, and Sam realized he'd been staring at her for way too long.
"Hey, come in," he stepped aside, not taking his eyes off her as she walked in the apartment.
"Why are you looking at me like that? Is this too much? I didn't know what to wear because you said casual but at the same time it's our first date and—"
"Baby," Sam cut her rambling with an amused smirk. "You look amazing. You always do. Now come give me a kiss."
Her body moved on its own, attracted to Sam's as if it was a magnet, pulling her towards his warm, loving embrace.
Iris' eyes started to sting as she walked further into the flat, seeing how much effort Sam had put into the evening. She really didn't deserve him.
"You like it?" Sam's hand came to rest on her hip.
"Sam... I love it. Thank you."
"You're very welcome, baby girl," he whispered before giving her another sweet kiss.
Bottle of red wine was uncorked and poured into glasses. Iris, quite the connoisseur, marvelled at Sam's choice. Sheepishly, he admitted that he went around asking the team about some of Iris' favourite things to make the night as good as possible — including her favourite wine which according to Tony was any vintage French red with sweet undertones.
First glasses of wine down, hunger made stronger by drinking alcohol on an empty stomach, they soon settled around the table. As the city went about its usual frenzy outside the large glass windows, Sam brought the first course to the dining table, an entrée worthy of a Michelin star restaurant.
"Are you sure you never went to a culinary school somewhere?" Iris mused, tastebuds raving in her mouth.
"Just like to watch a lot of cooking shows," he smiled.
"This tastes fantastic. And with the wine, ugh! You blew my mind, Wilson."
Main course, then dessert. All while talking and talking, as if they never grew tired of each other's voice and mimics and stories. Gulps of wine, second bottle uncorked, melted chocolate and notes of berries from the wine mixed together to form an elixir, an aphrodisiac, like being around each other wasn't already enough for their bodies to turn into lava. More talking, until it was time to clean up.
Bare feet on the wooden floor, heels discarded in a corner of the room for her, soft padding of socks for him, they waltzed around the room, plates and cutlery clinking as they loaded the dishwasher.
Then the familiar, world famous guitar air filled the room, the notes soft and resonating throughout their entire bodies.
"Dance with me," Sam said.
So Iris put her hand in his, abandoning her half full, half empty glass of wine on the table, right next to the irises and roses, and danced with him.
"Wise men say only fools rushhhh iiin..."
"You are a terrible singer," Iris giggled in the crook of his neck.
"My cooking makes up for it."
"It sure does, Sammy. It sure does."
They let the music surround them, guide their movements as they swung around, hands caressing each other's body, fingers drawing intricate shapes and paterns over their clothes, lips leaving feathery kisses over necks and jaws, trying to find a way to transfer the intimacy of the moment.
For I can't help
Falling in love with you
"I love you, Iris."
Like a river flows
Surely to the sea
Darling so it goes
She sucked in a sharp breath as if she'd been hit — burned. But it had to be the most pleasant burn ever.
Some things
Are meant to be
"You don't have to say it back," Sam murmured. "I wanted to tell you."
"I— I love you too, Sam," she said, tears already streaming down her face.
Not stopping their swaying, Sam pulled back just enough to allow him to take Iris' face in his hands. That's when she noticed that the song still hadn't stopped — or rather, had started over.
"You planned this," she scoffed through her tears, rolling her eyes.
"Damn right I did."
With his thumbs, he wiped away her tears  then took his time admiring her. Every detail of her face and entire being.
Elvis kept singing, and they kept swaying.
*
Emergency mission. Get your asses back to the compound.
The lovely message which pulled both Iris and Sam out of their post coital slumber and forced them to go back to the Avengers headquarters as quick as possible.
Once they arrived, they only had time to make their respective protein shakes as breakfast before Director Fury called them in the conference space. Everyone else was already sat, waiting for Nick to speak up.
"I need you guys sharp on this one. We got the info a few days ago but there was a piece of intel missing from the brief, which I needed to give you guys the green light."
Nick pressed a button and an image appeared on the large touchscreen. Shock took place on some faces, pain on others.
"Oh my God."
"She's alive?!"
"Where is she?"
"For those of you who don't know, this is my second child, and Iris' twin sister."
Eyes still slightly wide, they all stared at Iris' identical twin. They had the same features. While Iris' face was free of scars, Dahlia had a large scar across the face, from the tail of her right eyebrow through the right corner of her mouth, ending at the chin.
"Steve," Iris called.
The super soldier snapped out of his thoughts, tearing his gaze off his ex-lover's face.
"Are you okay?"
"Yeah. Fine."
"Dahlia —"
"What is it with you and flowers?" Wanda asked, genuinely curious.
Nick pinched the bridge of his nose, already annoyed by the wave of questions that was about to submerge him.
"That would be a question for their mother, a question that I, too, would like an answer to."
"Oh, dad, please! You called us Nicky and Nicolette, so I think you can save your rant on names for later," Iris rolled her eyes.
"Wait," Sam interrupted Nick just as he opened his mouth to speak. "I gotta ask, which one's Nicolette?"
Iris narrowed her eyes at him.
"That would be our dear Iris," Tony said.
A stiffled laugh came from the back of the room where Bucky sat, pinching his nose to contain his giggles. Iris raised a brow.
"What you laughing at Buchanan?"
Bucky snapped his mouth shut in a thin line.
"This is a matter of worldwide security, so I'm gonna need you to stop behaving like goddamn children," Nick scolded, giving a pointed look to his daughter. "Dahlia is a compromised former S.H.I.E.L.D. agent. She'd joined the ranks of HYDRA long before S.H.I.E.L.D. fell. She's a traitor, that is why you've never heard of her."
"I've seen her before," Wanda's voice was almost a whisper. "With Strucker, during our... experiments."
"But... we saw her in her cell in the Raft. Then she died of a seizure," Natasha said matter-of-factly.
"She escaped a few months ago."
"Told you I should've brought her to Asgard," Thor mumbled.
"A few months ago?!" Iris repeated in disbelief. "Dad, why didn't you say anything?"
"She was invisible to our radars until now. With what remained of the Insight protocols and Stark's tech, we were able to find her only a few days ago."
"Tony, you knew about this?" Steve, who still hadn't said anything until that moment, turned to Tony, lines creasing in his forehead.
"Sorry, Cap. Fury made me swear not to say anything."
"Dad... What's the mission?"
"Dahlia was seen at a facility located on the border between Ukraine and Russia," as Nick spoke, images appeared on the touchscreen next to him. "Packages were sent from this facility to Iraq and Syria. We have reasons to believe that weapons are curated in this facility, using the remains of the Ultron disaster and sent to the Middle East."
"But it's been years since Ultron happened," Clint chipped in. "How could she possibly still have access to Stark tech?"
"Veronica," Bruce blurted. "Veronica and the other satellites. What if she's using Veronica and the drones from the satellites we don't use anymore to create weapons?"
"But how?" Rhodey asked.
"Dahlia's access to all those things was revoked after she got in the Raft, but what if she's using Iris? The older satellites don't require a retinal scan to work, but they do have the same voice."
"Jesus Christ," Iris burried her face in her hands. "Dad. What's the mission?"
"Destroy Dahlia's facility, locate the weapons in the Middle East, get rid of them... Neutralise Dahlia Fury."
"Dad—"
"Two teams. Colonel Rhodes, Barton, Maximoff, Barnes and Romanoff as air support in the Middle East. The rest, in the Ukraine. We don't know how many men exactly but based on our sightings, more than Strucker had in Sokovia. You leave tonight."
Steve immediately walked out of the room, hands balled up in fists, jaw and shoulders tense. The rest of the team did the same, one by one.
"What's his deal?" Sam asked Iris in a hushed tone.
"Him and my sister... They were together. Their relationship was as serious as could be. We never knew what happened to Dahlia, you know? Maybe she was brainwashed, kind of like Bucky, but she still knows who we are... When she was sent to the Raft, Steve was inconsolable, first he hurt her, then he lost her..."
"What? The—" Sam gestured across his face. "He did that to her?"
Iris nodded. "He didn't mean to. The shield bounced off someone and she was in the way. He was furious with himself."
"How about you, baby?" he squeezed her hand. "You okay?"
"To be honest, my dad and I never believed she'd died. Something was off in her death certificate, but we still grieved and moved on, you know," she sighed. "I've got to check on my dad, okay? I'll talk to you later."
She gave him a peck on the lips before strolling down the hall to find Nick.
Iris felt like a building had fallen on top of her. Her heart was already troubled, tugging on two different sides, and now her twin sister, who was supposed to be nothing but ashes in the Atlantic ocean, was a terrorist and very much alive.
In her hand, her phone started to ring, the screen lighting up to display a photo of her fiancé holding their daughter, both smiling at the camera.
***
Tags: @wakanda-inspired
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miximax-hell · 5 years
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I always tell my friends that they’re capable of anything they put their mind into. But, personally, I should know my limits and act accordingly. And considering how INCREDIBLY long it took me to finish this piece for such a poor result (despite the fact that I was just trying to replicate official art, so I had all the help in the world), well, I would say this was my limit. But, hey, you’ll never know until you try, and all practice is good practice.
That aside, hello! For today’s post, I decided to revisit the concept I started this blog with and work on a bigger illustration. It’s probably my least popular kind of post, but trying to mimic KH’s artstyle is kind of a blast regardless of the result or the struggle.
With Max’s and Kageno’s out of the way, it was about time I worked on Handa’s, since, you know, he’s my favourite character and all. I can be biased here, right?
So, it might be a good time to talk about HanRoku’s reasons to be.
Well, well, well. This is coming at the beginning of April when my last post was on January, and even that was just to celebrate the fact that, somehow, over a hundred people have decided to follow this blog. I’m not even going to pretend I’m way too busy to work on stuff--it’s just been a fantastic combination of things that made me want to... stop. I hit a big wall where the ideas I had were being a tad too difficult to pull off in a satisfying way (I swear to God, Kidou, your hair is impossible to work with), and I was either not in the mood to do anything or more focused on other and, at the time, more fun endeavours. I was super passionate about my graduation thesis, for example--and that went rather well, thankfully.
But, boy, I loved Kingdom Hearts 3. No bad mood or task was going to keep me from sinking hours into that game somewhat regularly. Playing it filled me with immense joy, and seeing Roxas again after so long brought me to tears. It made me think a lot about finally finishing (or trying to finish) this big piece... and it caught me very rusty, which led to hours, hours, hours, HOURS of work for what I have already described as a disappointing result. I mean, it’s not the worst I have ever drawn, but... well. It could definitely be much better, and I’m rather tempted to rework it in the future. I hadn’t touched my tablet in ages and it shows. Nor my pencils. Just my brushes, but that was just to paint doggos and Life Is Strange-inspired landscapes.
And the best part is that the illustration ISN’T EVEN COMPLETE because the rest would actually be a spoiler for a fic of mine called Zero. If you check the official art I linked above, you’ll see that what my illustration shows as a black area is actually filled by a completely separate illustration. I know what I want there, but, as I said, it’d spoil the story, so, yeah. Talk about a work in progress. I hope I can finish it all one day...
Anyway, enough pointless ranting! Thanks for putting up with me. To reward someone who has made it this far without getting tired of me, I’m giving away a Steam copy of Batman: Arkham Origins, along with all of its DLC. If you want it, please shoot me a non-anonymous message~ There is absolutely no need to follow me nor reblog/like this post, although it’d obviously be greatly appreciated. The first to ask for it will get it. And, please, don’t follow me for future giveaways--I doubt there will be any. Now, let’s talk about HanRoku. That’s what you clicked on that "read more" button for.
The beginnings of HanRoku are ancient at this point. We’re talking 2012 or 2013, and that’s INSANE. For how long have I been struggling with this project?! Goodness gracious. Anyway, at the time, Chrono Stone was hitting all of the right notes for me. Time travel? Check. People that transform to become more powerful? Check. Fusions, because I've watched too much DBZ for me to not love that? Check. And one day, for reasons that have been lost to time, but probably have a lot to do with the aforementioned fic, I realised something. Zero was supposed to be a story about how Roxas mingles with Someoka, Handa, Aki and mostly Endou, but then it hit me: Roxas and Handa are actually... extremely similar.
To those who have never played Kingdom Hearts, PLEASE GO PLAY KINGDOM HEARTS. And to those who couldn’t care less about what I recommend them to do, KH is a story that, under a deceiving cover full of Disney characters and confusing plot points, makes a deep and rather interesting point about what the true nature of the soul is--even if they insist on calling it “heart” instead. What is a soul? What is it for? Who, or what, has a soul--and why? Is the soul linked to the mind or to the body? Is it even possible to have a body and not have a soul? Is the soul something you’re born with or something you can/must acquire over time? What makes it grow, and what is true strength of soul? You know, for a game where you hit cute Hot Topic monsters with an oversized key, that’s pretty darn cool.
I talked more about this way back when, but I’ll give you a brief summary of the main reason why Handa and Roxas are such a perfect match: they are both people looking for their place in a world that actively acts against their very existence. They have no purpose and are simply tools for other people to shine and/or achieve their goals. That is obviously not a good, fulfilling life.
But, well, after all these years of ruminating and thinking (and crying) about HanRoku, there has to be a bit more to it than just that, right?
Obviously (and even more obviously after Kingdom Hearts 3), Roxas is very strong. Very strong. What he lacks in existence, he makes up for in raw power. For someone like Handa, who is so overlooked due to being okay at everything but not great at anything, this is massive. Even if Roxas doesn’t make him stellar at everything, he doesn’t need to. He still gives Handa enough power to become an extremely invaluable asset in the field and a force to be reckoned with--especially early on, since Handa is the first original Raimon player to get a miximax and all. I’ll talk more about HanRoku’s powers in the future.
But the usefulness in the field is only the first part, and even that is debatable due to the post I linked to earlier and the fact that, well, he sure will be special and super strong when no one else can mixitrans, but he won’t be once the whole team can do so. I mean, let’s count: Endou, Gouenji, Someoka, Max, Kageno, Megane, Tamano... That’s 7 people, when there are only 11 players on the field at a time. Handa would only be at an advantage over 3 people. (And if you’re going to tell me that he’s still the only midfielder with a miximax, thus making him special on his own, that’s a perfectly valid point and you should congratulate yourself for having such a keen eye.)
What really shines about HanRoku, though, is how mutually symbiotic their relationship is. Even if their struggles are so similar at heart, the reasons why those struggles exist are not.
Handa’s problems come from not being good enough at anything to be really... indispensable. Sure, he can do pretty much any job at any given point and be adequate enough at it, but he’s never the first option. He has no place of his own in the team; not one thing only he is capable of doing. And that leads to all kinds of problems of self-worth and trying to find a purpose. He will leave Raimon and no one will remember he was even there.
Roxas is completely essential to Organization XIII, but he’s been reduced to a killing machine that they are trying to replace with a better and more obedient one, thus taking away from him the only reason to be he ever knew and making him question his very existence. Once Org XIII disposes of him, no one will miss him--and that’s made even worse by a certain plot point: Nobodies disappear from the memory of everyone who ever met them once they are defeated/killed.
Of course, Roxas would help Handa immensely, as stated earlier. That’s kind of the point of this whole ordeal. But here’s the catch: Handa would help Roxas too. By leaving a part of himself inside Handa (that sounds extremely wrong, but please bear with me), he knows he will never be truly forgotten no matter what happens to him, and his life will ultimately have a purpose: to help a friend in need find his own worth. But let’s not forget that Roxas has only been alive for less than a year, while Handa has been struggling with his demons for over a decade without ever giving up. Despite having the world against him (or, at the very least, definitely not on his side), Handa is still going at it, trying his best, fighting for what he believes in, dealing courageously with the fact that he’s just an ordinary boy in a world of amazing people in order to help them achieve their ultimate goals. At a time when Roxas felt like his existence was worthless, meeting Handa, a boy who challenges his own self to find an identity that may not even exist, is truly inspiring. His selflessness, his love towards his friends and his neverending efforts to be better give Roxas a reason to stand up to the norm and fight for what he believes is right: in this case, to save his few and treasured friends.
Handa and Roxas find in each other a mirror that, for the first time in their lives, shows them in a new light that gives them hope for the future. They learn from each other, complement each other, improve each other, inspire each other, share a deep bond of friendship and trust, feel stronger and braver when they are together, and make a fantastic team. A team of throwaways, a team of tools, a team made of convenient replacements that will one day become obsolete. But a team that, however, is much greater than the sum of its overlooked parts, and will achieve incredible things when they eventually figure out just how unique and special they both are.
Talking about HanRoku makes me very emotional and it’s difficult to convey my feelings about them when I’m choking on my own tears, but I hope you can all understand why I love these two so very much. And if you can’t... well, feel free to ask me any questions you may have! I’d love to find new ways to describe why these two are so precious to me.
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mindibindi · 5 years
Note
Do you have any tips for writing fanfiction?
Hey, Anon, thanks for the ask and sorry about the delayin replying. I’ve been writing fanfiction for so long that I’ve gotten into abit of a routine with it so I had to have a think about what I actually do. These tipsare based on my own writing practice, experience and approach to fanfic.But I would encourage you to keep asking this question, keep chatting withother authors (some might be kind enough to comment here) as you search for your ownunique writing style and practice. Everyone’s will be different and, as long asit works, I say stick with it. I’m assuming that you’re a new or aspiringauthor so I hope one, some or all of these tips prove useful.
1. Get In The Zone: Find the time of day when yourbest writing happens. For me (rather inconveniently when there’s work to bedone), this is first thing in the morning. For others, I’ve heard it’s themiddle of the day or late at night. But you will know this time when you find itbecause words and ideas will flow freely and easily, faster sometimes than yourfingers can keep up. Revel in this time, use it well then stop writing when theenergy runs out. Nothing good was ever produced by pushing past inspirationinto frustration or exhaustion. That said, inspiration can strike at any time – while watchingan ep or taking a walk or going about your work or trying to fall asleep. When itdoes – whether it’s an opening line, a plot point or snippet of dialogue – jotthose ideas down.
2. Watch (and Rewatch) Your Source Material: Thismay sound obvious (and not much of a chore for a fan) but watching whatevermovie/show/whatever you’re working from helps you to pick up the jargon of thatworld, to absorb the particular milieu, to know the people, places and canon(before you presumably diverge from it). The best fanfic gets both the bigpicture and the little details right. Without these firmly in place, you riskwriting a story that doesn’t ring true to the basic characters, tone orsituation you’re attempting to emulate. You want to extend a reality you love,not break it. So always be on the lookout for any little thing that mightfracture this reality and cause readers to fall out of a world they (you mustassume) know equally well. As a reader, there’s always a jolt when this happens, a dishearteningplummet. So know your stuff before you put pen to paper.
3. Get the Voices Right: Unlike character which canbe ambiguous, changeable and open to interpretation, every fan becomes attuned tothe particular voices of their favourite characters. When reading, you don’t need to work toknow when an author gets this right. You can just hear it. You can also (unfortunately)hear the tiniest slip in consistency and truth. I have written for somecharacters with very distinctive voices, voices I really didn’t think I couldemulate: both Ten and Donna in “Doctor Who”, Jack and Liz in “30 Rock” and,more recently, Gene Hunt in “Ashes to Ashes”. My particular trick for writingthese characters, for practicing their voices, was to write out the dialoguefirst then fill in everything else. Obviously this is only going to work forfics like this, this and this that rely heavily on banter. I love this kind offic. I love reading ‘em and I love writing ‘em. But even in fics which meldprose and dialogue, writing the dialogue out in isolation can help since theseaspects use slightly different writerly muscles.                          
4. Spellcheck is Your Friend: There will probablyalways be errors in your writing but do your best to avoid preventable andobvious mistakes. These can destroy your credibility as a narrator and takeyour reader out of your story. Personally, I am a compulsive editor. I wouldn’trecommend it. But I would recommend reading through your work at least once andrunning spellcheck before posting. Reading aloud can also help to identify anygrammatical errors or issues with flow. You can, if you find a friend willingto act as beta, outsource some of this work.
5.Don’t Be Afraid to Start Small: I’m a fan of theshort, self-contained fic. I’ve written lots of them and significant work must still go into making them work. So don’t aim to produce 25,000brilliant words right off the bat. Just 1-2,000 solid ones of which you can be proud.
6.Write What You Want: If you’re lucky, readerswill request fics of you (I have never been good at fulfilling these requests).If you’re unlucky, they’ll complain about directions you take or detail whythey refuse to read what you’ve written (this is pretty rare). But you can’t, Ibelieve, force inspiration. It’s either there or it’s not. For me, I beganwriting fanfic because there just wasn’t any for a pairing I shipped. So Iwrote it myself, for myself. I wrote what I liked and wanted to read (I stilldo). This is a medium in which fans have complete autonomy. They choose to go frompassive consumer to active creator. So just do what you do. Do whatever youwant. Turn back time. Bring people back from the dead. Unite lovers. Mergeworlds. Create characters. Make it sad, happy, dramatic or funny or both. You have the power. Claim it. Play with it. Revel init.
7. Start Strong and End Strong: You gotta have agood first line, in my theory of ff. That’s where it (literally) all begins. I always like to openwith something concise and intriguing that immediately communicates a little (butnot necessarily all) of what I’m planning to work with. Don’t be fooled intothinking you gotta start at the beginning. You don’t. You can enter the storyat any point. You can enter late – and leave early, as the saying goes. Thisis a screenwriting principle that ensures that only the most relevantinformation is included in a scene. It keeps the pace of a piece up, controlsthe dissemination of information and keeps audiences engaged. I think thisprinciple transfers rather easily to the page, especially since most of us areemulating material from the big or small screen. In order to imitate thesevisual mediums in written form, you might like to think of paragraphs, breaksand sentence structure as editing techniques that can guide the reader’s pace, growingperception and emotional experience.
8.Avoid Clichés: Clichés can occur at the level ofexpression, character or narrative. At the level of expression, these arewasted words that hold no meaning so find a fresh way to express what you mean.At the level of character, keep words, thoughts and actions rooted in thecharacter. “Show, Don’t Tell” is another well-known writing principle that can help maintain authenticity. As much as we may identify with certain characters, make judiciousdecisions about how much of yourself belongs in them. When writing intimaterelationships, less is often more. I know many shippers (myself included) spendyears sometimes LONGING for couples to express what they mean to each other,physically and/or verbally. By all means, let your beloved characters express –but not everything and not all at once, would be my advice. Allow them to maintainsome sense of mystery and sovereignty. At the level of narrative, clichés canactually work, especially if used with awareness. I had such fun writing a OneBed! fic for Jack and Liz, in which I paidtribute to some of the many reams of MSR fanfiction I had previously consumed.There were so many of these stories in that fandom that they became a categoryof their own, boasting a set of (increasingly ironic) conventions. Some fanfictraditions, it must be said, deserve to be embraced, extended and celebrated.   
9. Read: Reading is the easiest way to absorbgrammar, to expose yourself to different writing styles and to become moreadept with language. So read books of all kinds. And read fanfic from your favefandoms. But read it actively, critically. Figure out what works and whatdoesn’t and why. Figure out what you enjoy, don’t and why. Apply theseinsights to your own writing and keep applying them. Keep improving. The more you read and write, the better you’ll get.
10. Avoid Comparisons: My best experiences of readingand writing fanfiction have been in strong, supportive communities. Generally,the more supportive the community has been, the more prolific I have been. These communitiesare wonderful spaces to inhabit, filled with peeps that love their shows,defend their ships and support their authors. Authors are always hungry forfeedback, and is it any wonder? Writing, creating and sharing takes work, love,thought and guts. You have to claim a little corner of a fandom and boldlystate that you have something to say that’s worth listening to. Sadly, you will probably never receive the same amount of energy back as you putin. This can lead to authors comparing their output and input, judging theirwork on its stats rather than on its merits. It can lead to them competing forthose few meagre reviews that roll in. This is partly why it is so important toreview fanfic, particularly fanfic you love and authors you read consistently.It’s part of encouraging and creating a sense of community in which people feeltheir voices are heard and their contributions valued. So be generous with others. Encourage and share. Read, review, reblog.Treat your fellow writers as your community, not your competition. Viewfanfic as a labor of love, an act of generosity that sometimes gives back. And if you don’t get the response you wishfor then make sure you hit that internal heart button and give yourself somekudos for trying, for creating, for loving something and letting it show.
Good luck. :)
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nihilismdan · 5 years
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hey 🖤 finished your fic last night. cried my heart and eyes out as it hit pretty hard and close to home. i wasn’t sure to tell you but i saw your last reblog tags so here we are. i lost my childhood friend 4 years ago. it was his first year at the army-living his dream- and it was my 2nd year at uni when it happened. we thought we were all good that year except he came to home unexpectedly for a week bc apparently he was dealing with crippling depression so they send him home for a quick rest +
+ + all of us was so shocked that he was going through this bc he was the strongest at our perky little group. that week that he supposed to get his mind together, never ended in our heads. we spent those few days swimming in the middle of the night and drinking and eating the foods he missed when he was at the mountains. like the old days. then that night happened that i repressed for months to remember the details of it. i made him a coffee, his last one in this fucking meaningless timeline +
+ it was really late and he said goodbye to me and my cousin( one of his best friends too) and he said he was going to straight to home, said that he was so sleepy already, i regret that i let him go that moment. he didn’t go home, we learned in the morning. he wanted to see his friend who is in town, and grab a drink, he didn’t take his car he took his motorcycle. i still hate that he chose the motorcycle. he couldn’t meet his friend, he crashed into a car on his way, no one knows how it happened +
+  i still feel guilty. i’m so angry at myself. at him. we will never know how it happened, maybe he drove into the car because he wanted to die maybe it was all a fucking meaningless accident i will never know and i feel so stupid. i was so blind i couldn’t saw his aching mind. he was in pain and we didn’t notice. we didn’t help him, save him. i never tell these to anyone, never write this down. not even in my language. sorry for this btw i just wanted to pour my heart like your dan in the story
+ (this is the last one) i never get help for my trauma. i think i never healed because of that. i don’t know you, i don’t know if you lost someone, but damn. you have emphaty. you see things and you feel them and you sew them in your stories. that amazes me. i think i’m going to get help. i’m sick of trying to heal my wounds by covering them by myself. that doesn’t help at all. i have to share my pain, my guilt, my anger. i don’t know how i keep up with life. i’m living but is this living?
i’m going to answer under readmore bc it’s long 
(tw // suicide mention)
i’m going to tell you a story about one of my friends i had when i was thirteen, she was beautiful, she wrote amazing poetry, her prose was like pretty fucking amazing given how old we were. we weren’t friends right away, but that was okay, i was pretty determined to be her friend (lol), and eventually it happened naturally, we started to tell things to each other, things were good between us. i think the reason why we were such good friends was because we knew that we could talk to each other about things that was going on in our life, she didn’t have a great family life, and her childhood friend committed suicide, everyone was kind of worried for my friend because they were afraid that she was going to commit suicide too. i tried to be there for her more–but i was only thirteen. (she was a couple years older than me), i didn’t understand what she was truly going through because there are just some things that we don’t know when it comes to the people around us–even the people that we love. it’s not our obligation to feel this way, but we can’t help it. we want to help the people that are in our lives, but depression is an ugly, ugly thing that can be hidden in plain sight. we don’t always see it, and it fucking sucks. my friend committed suicide despite having so much help and loving friends. because she had sooo many friends that loved her. but sometimes that’s just not enough. and i’m so, so sorry that you had to go through that. i think you’re incredibly strong and that guilt feeling??? its awful. because it stays with you and it leaves its mark. i felt incredibly guilty when my friend died, i had to hear that she died online when her mom posted about it. the thing was? i was camping. i didn’t have service (because i was 13 and the cell phone i did have wasn’t even really mine i just used it if i was going somewhere and my parents needed to contact me), i remember my last conversation with her was me telling her that i was going camping and that i’d see her when i got back.
i think the best thing that i can tell you is that, he knew that you loved him, and that you cared for him and always wanted the best for him. regardless of how he died and if it was intentional–i hope you find peace in knowing that he knew that. and it’s okay to feel angry about it. i was angry about it. sometimes i still get angry about it, and i get angry about what happened at my school, i get angry about the other things that have happened in my life, it’s okay to feel angry about it because it fucking sucks. it fucking sucks and it never should have happened. you’re not stupid or blind, you just didn’t know. you can’t put that on yourself. when i would talk to my therapist about my guilt she would always have to remind me, ‘its not your fault. you were not in control of that situation. and even if you were it still wouldn’t be your fault.’ and its hard to tell yourself that it wasn’t your fault. but it wasn’t. 
one of the things that helped me cope was remembering the good stuff. because so often i find myself focusing on the negative and just kind of reopening that old wound because it’s so much easier to live in the guilt and live in the hurt because in a weird way its comfort–its what you know best, but i’ve been (still) trying to remember the good things about a shitty situation. like: she was so good at poetry. she for some reason loved white polo button down shirts, she loved putting on just eyeliner and pink lipstick, she really loved pizza, her favourite kind of skirts were checkered.
and yeah–its superficial stuff about a person, but those things are what make up a person, it was part of who they were, and that’s how i try to remember her. sorry this is so long i guess i just wanted you to know that i get it, and i’m sorry that it happened, and i’m sorry that you’re living with this guilt, and i hope that you find peace with the situation–and above all find peace with yourself soon. you deserve that. thank you for telling me and if you ever want to talk more you can definitely private message me and i’ll answer. i hope you’re doing good.
Edit since i didn’t see your last message: im really glad that you’re getting help. its really hard asking for help and talking about the things that are really difficult but im proud of you. and i hope that everything works out for you. my message above still stands--if you want to talk about it more, im always available. (: have a good night/day wherever you are!
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lwtis · 5 years
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End Of Year Fic-Writer Meme
This has been a long, weird year, and if you’re like me, you wrote a whole whack of fic over the course of it. So here’s a bunch of questions to ask about that:
What’s your personal favourite thing you wrote this year? 
Catch Me If You Can, most probably. I’m really pleased with the world-building and the pacing, and it’s just an awesome feeling having finished a multi-chapter fic. Concept-wise, Crown To Match My Queen is a close second.
What’s your least favourite thing you wrote this year?
Probably The Importance Of A Well Maintained Spreadsheet (And A Good Label Gun). I just couldn’t get it to work - I really love the concept and it feels like I couldn’t do it justice. Every time I re-read it, I keep finding new bits I want to re-write - not enough plot to justify the lack of shippy stuff, and not enough shippy stuff to justify the lack of plot LOL  
Which of your fics was most different from what you usually write?
Probably Dream Inside The Static (thriller/horror) ! Or Sous Le Ciel De Paris (somewhat anecdotal piece light on the plot and heavy on the introspection about inspiration and feeeelings).  
Which of your fics this year was most successful?
To All The Demons Under My Bed! I am actually kind of shocked how well-received this fic was. But I’m really happy, mostly because the lovely birthday girl really liked it <3
Which of your fics do you wish was more successful?
Dream Inside The Static is something I really love but has some of the least hits and kudos. Understandable - it’s a horror fic set in space with a bad ending xDDD I did get a lot of really lovely comments on it though, and enough ideas and speculation for a sequel in the near-future-sometime <3
What’s your favourite piece of dialogue you wrote this year?
Oh man, that’s hard. But probably this:
“...you’re so beautiful.” he murmurs, fingers brushing against Kyle’s cheek. He licks his lips nervously. “...you’re just...just like - “
“If you compare my eyes to some sort of fucking gemstone, I’m going to break your nose.” Kyle cuts in. His traitorous hands waste no time in grabbing onto the front of Kenny’s blazer. “And then I’m going to write a horrendously pretentious poem about it, title it your name and get it published in every magazine that I can get my hands on. Don’t try me.”
From Sous Le Ciel De Paris
Or this:
“I’ll send right over.” Kenny nods, reaching for the empty mugs. He waits until the other’s shoulders relax a fraction before speaking again. “But if you really are so worried about my sperm count, you are more then welcome to check. Make sure everything is alright.”
From Health Hazards
What’s your favourite piece of description or narration?
Another tough one...probably either this:
The scent soon winds its way to his nose, warm and heavy with spices he cannot name. The chatter is low and lively, most of the tables already occupied. A carefully painted night sky is splashed on the walls and across the ceiling, astronomically-accurate stars twinkling in luminescent paint. In the corner stands a vintage piano with well-loved ivory keys, a dozen small framed photographs balanced on top.  
From Catch Me If You Can, Chapter 3
Or this:
Sweet, round cheeks, with a button nose to match - a little crooked, as if broken years before, and smattered with freckles. His bangs curl around his face messily, thick enough to hide both his ears. When his lips tug into a self-conscious, close-lipped smile, it looks even sweeter than it ever did in his mind’s eye. And in that moment - watching the sunlight paint a dappled pattern over the freckled skin of Kenny’s nose - all of Stan’s sappy ramblings suddenly make sense.
From Seven Days To The Wolves
Which fic this year was most fun to write?
Probably taste for the cherry (I just need to take a bite). Writing sweet, raunchy romance set in a gay burlesque club was really fun. I need to write more Kyley-B, he is a riot. Also anything set in the Stick of Truth universe (Tell Me The Story Of Our Legacy, A Little Wicked) was just super fun. I really love writing political machinations and regency courting. Plus the aesthetics!!
If you could go back and change something about one of the fics you wrote this year, what would it be?
Mostly everything about Importance Of. Also, I would have loved to add a few more clues into the build-up of who the main villain of Catch Me If You Can turned out to be, because I feel like it comes a little out of left field. 
What, if anything, are you going to try to do differently in your writing in the new year?
I am going to try this mysterious method of writing a few chapters ahead with my next multi-chapter fic instead of posting it right away. Try being the key word there! Otherwise I am going to attempt to stop posting things at 3am, as it leads to very harried corrections the next morning. 
(Fellow fic-writers, feel free to nick this, if you feel like doing it!)
It’s been an interesting year, getting back into writing after such a long time. I’m really grateful for all the wonderful people I got to meet, talk with, all the awesome projects I got the chance to take a part in, and for everyone who left me kudos, comments or reblogs on my stories. Thank you so, so much - I treasure them all. Here’s to next year! <3
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katseternity · 6 years
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Tagged by @muzai-twissy
Rules: answer 30 questions then take 20 blogs you would like to know better
I love it when people tag me in things, thank you it helps me procrastinate and feel loved.
Nickname: Kitkat (and Wheelie Bin on the slightly more questionable days)
Gender: Female
Star sign: Virgo :p
Height: Gahh? What’s 170cm in ft?
Time: Dinnertime. Always.
Birthday: 19th September (aka the Series 9 opener aka the best day of my life)
Favourite Band(s): hehe if only I had consistency, either Muse or Queen
Favourite Solo artist(s): David Bowie
Song stuck in my head: Life on Mars. Partly because John Simm, partly because I badgered my piano teacher for months and months so I could play it along with the opening.
Last movie watched: Cleopatra (for the love of god don’t watch it)
Last show watched: Collateral with John Simm in which The Master and Rose have a child and Sally Sparrow is a police investigator
When did I create my blog: 2015? My first tumblr must have been 2014 but nobody need to know about my obsessive stalking.
What do I post: What is post pls? I only know reblog button?
Last thing I googled: ‘ironic photoshoots’
Do you have any other blogs: a desolate art blog called eateroflight,
Do you get asks: No but I love y’all so hit me up anytime
Why did you choose your URL: kazwin like oswin from asylum of the daleks but sUPER
Followers: 109
Following: 396
Favourite Colour(s): Forest green
Average hours of sleep: Sleep? Uhhh that’s a funny concept
Lucky number: 23 (atomic number for sodium) and 49 (7 squared)
Instruments: Voice, piano, kazoo
What am I wearing: A denim shirt and my cousin’s weird biking trousers, also lightning earrings, also a hair bobble also shoes
How many blankets I sleep with: I sleep like a manly man, all the blankets!
Dream job: Pirate adventurer (seriously)
Dream trip: Everywhere. Simultaneously.
Favourite food: Sour cream and chive dip on its own
Nationality: I wish I could say something exotic like Japanese but my family is so British it hurts (if it means I have a higher chancing of randomly meeting either PCap or Michelle Gomez then I’m cool with it)
Favourite song now: Unashamedly ‘Grace Kelly’ by MIKA because of a sixie fan video by Lady Disaster on YouTube
I tag...
@danae-b @sorry-must-dash @keia-sky @agenderfirebender @crowleysheiress @followthedrums13 @twissyy @gemvictorfromtheponyverse @daleks-go-exterminate @magicalpiratedragon @audale @getagripkoschei @shadowtheemopancake @blatterpussbunnyfromhell @stephkfay @i-should-clean-my-room @arwendeluhtiene
everybody looking at this post right now is beautiful, THAT INCLUDES YOU!
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thiefoffivefates · 7 years
Text
Back again with another thing! I was tagged by @montparnasse-the-arse​ in a tag game!
Rules: answer the questions and then tag the followers you want to get to know better!
name: Bonnie
nickname: Bon Bon is my only one i think? (look I’ve probably got another that I’ve forgotten)
zodiac sign: Scorpio
hogwarts house: Slytherin (still don’t know how or why but hey)
height: 5’2”
sexual orientation: Yes.
ethnicity: British/Irish for the most part
favourite fruit: Kiwi fruit, pomegranate and grapes!
favorite season: Summer
favorite book series: His Dark Materials
favorite fictional character: d u d e. too many faves.
favorite flower: Lilac
favorite scent: Fresh linen or cut grass
favorite color: Yellow
favorite animal: Geckos and otters
favorite band: Tally Hall or The Civil Wars
coffee, tea, or hot chocolate: Tea!
number of blankets: As many as i can steal in winter (i am a gremlin) and like one in summer
dream trip: Wales! I want to go and like, shout poetry at a castle.
last thing i googled is: What is the best build for a warlock in D&D 5e
how many blogs i follow: 693
number of followers: 108!
what i usually post about: les mis, star wars, star trek, memes idk what i post about, i see something and i hit the reblog button
do i get asks regularly: not really, but i love when i do! (if i don’t answer them though its cause i forgot or have added them to my stash of things for sad days)
I tag: @paladinofmoonlight​ @lukalunar​ @sl33tpaw​ @eyeofthetimelord​ @ashethehedgehog​ @moonlighteponine​ @draaaaaagoooooons​ and anyone else who wants to give it a go!
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Text
Restraint Ch.6
Tumblr media
Yoongi x Reader, Vampire AU, Smut
Warnings: Swearing, SMUT(YAY!) penetration, BDSM themes(bondage, oil, oversensitivity stuff), Blood play stuff.
Word Count:3004
Summary: As Jungkooks best friend recently moved to Seoul, there is one of the boys you have yet to meet. This one has a dark secret and has to use all the restraint he can to control himself around you.
HAPPY NEW YEAR and HAPPY READING :)
Please reblog if you enjoy. Tumblrs tagging is still super dodge!
Links to other chapters in my bio! :) 
Your head was saturated with drowsiness, all the exhaustion from the day battering your body all at once. Not to mention the fact you’d overloaded yourself on takeaway that Jungkook insisted he’d order for you as you’d skipped out on dinner.
“Hey Y/N, come on” Jungkook’s silvery voice whispered shrugging his shoulder where your head was resting happily. You was scrunched up cosily in an upright foetal position, your weight being mostly caught by Kook. The credits were rolling as you scanned the sofas for any other signs of life. All the others were shuffling about wearily heading towards their rooms. You returned multiple weary goodnights to the boys and headed for Yoongi’s studio. You merged and became one with the sofa beds comfy-ness around you.
 You stirred as a gentle click caught your attention, you twisted to face into the room and stared into the complete blackness.
“It’s rude to stare” a disembodied voice spoke out of nowhere, your heart put itself on hold for a beat.
“Jesus Yoongi, we don’t all have super senses you know” the shock had you pumped awake with un-needed adrenaline.
“Sorry I didn’t mean to wake you, I can walk around like a ghost but the world around me lets me down” He clicked on a small lamp on his desk illuminating the sea of knobs, dials and buttons on his equipment. The voice now had a body attached to it, his skin almost moonlight in itself. He was wearing just black trackies
“Now you’re actually staring” he mused bending down and opening a small mini fridge full of large sealed plastic cups filled with what could only be blood. You smiled guiltily and half buried your face.
“I just needed to get one of these” he said taking one of the cartons.
“You can’t honestly still be hungry after today?”
“Technically not hungry no, but I’ve craved it since you decided to take a joy ride” the slight dance of his pupils and his half smirked showed no regret.
“Oh” you paused slightly surprised “Well I’m here you know, you only have to ask” offering yourself up again.
“It’s something I’d never ask and you need rest” he lent up against his desk, both hands over the side. The veins on his pale hands popped like a map, they were irrationally sexy for just hands. “Besides if I were to take from you it would only end one way, pigs blood doesn’t quite have the same side effect” he continued
“And that’s a bad thing?” you shuffled fully onto your side facing him, squeezing your thighs together.
“Why Y/N you have such inhuman hunger” he chuckled “How on earth do mortal men handle you?”
“They don’t” you responded sitting up and crossing your legs in your baby pink night shirt with some almost pointless loose black short shorts.
“Not anymore they won’t anyway” his tone diffused into a deeper possessive tone.
“And why’s that?” you still sounded bright and playful.
“Because you’re with me” his face remained calm with a sense of neutrality.
“Well if that’s your way of asking me out I’m going to politely decline, at least take a girl on a date first” your face beamed, full of cheeky ambition. The sweet melody of your heart exciting was his new favourite sound. He made his way over to the bedside each step your pulse grew louder and louder. Yoongi crawled onto the bed like the beautifully designed predator he was, you leant back enticing him to lean further and he caught your lips hungrily.
“You won’t dare deny me this though will you princess” his hand smoothly made its way up your thigh until his palm pressed firmly over your clothed bud. You responded with a sharp intake of breath tangling your hands in his hair
“No” you admitted.
“So you want to play?” he whispered in your ear.
“Mmm” you replied. His face contorted into a wicked excitable grin, his fangs teasing at the top of his gums.
“Do you trust me to fully restrain you?” he asked with all seriousness, your arms were now pinned in his grip above your head.
“Do you trust you?” you asked with equal sincerity.
“For the moment”
“For the moment?” you quizzed amusedly wanting clarification.
“We’ll have to be very careful with stuff like that whenever I’ve been away for a while, human blood can get addictive and especially being away from how yours tastes could be dangerous” You took a moment and allowed this to digest before replying more playfully
“Again who say’s I’m yours to come back to, that’s not now” Yoongi smiled shyly, he couldn’t believe he’d met someone as calm and laid back about the whole vampire thing as much as it worried him he was in complete awe of you.
“Just remember the safe word”
“Rain” you reminded yourself out loud.
“Good girl” he sat back and glided his hands up your loose shirt stroking your sides until he reached your chest and massaged your breasts with a force awaking up all the right desires.
“Eyes closed, wait there” the commanding tone knocking your body into a fully aroused state.
“You’re going to look perfect all helpless for me” You obeyed and scrunched your eyes with blossoming anticipation. The sliding of a couple of draws only rose your anticipation levels. The cool metal clinked and cooled the skin on your wrists as your arms dropped above your head in defeat. Your eyes being closed became an obsolete notion as YG slid a blindfold over your head, you bent your knees and planted your feet onto the bed.
“I’m going to give you some of my blood but you need to take it from my wrist”
“You what? Why?” your shock elevated the pitch of your voice, you scrunched up your face at the thought of the grossness.
“You need the energy and just trust me you’ll thank me” you would love to gauge his expression, his voice certainly gave nothing away.
“Fine but do it quickly” Yoongi was straddling your waist, moments later his wrist was pressed to your lips requesting entrance. You braced yourself for the disgusting taste, the warm semi-viscous liquid hit your tongue and began drowning your taste buds with a coppery sweetness you didn’t expect. A guttural moan trickled from his lips as you swallowed. The moments passing were oddly sensual, you knew he was probably completely lost in the sight of you; his crimson staining your lips. His thumb politely caught a rouge drop escaping down your cheek and rubbed it back your lips.
Within a few minutes it hit you, you took a huge breath as if it was first; your body erupted overwhelming you with senses. All your nerve endings igniting blissfully. You’d never done drugs but fucking hell this felt like pure ecstasy.  Even though blindfolded you became aware of everything, your ears pricked at even the smallest sounds; his sweet scent mixed with the coppery smell of the pigs blood bombarded your nose. His weight on you now felt miniscule, he traced his fingertips delicately down your arms; his skin on yours felt like a constant buzz of static electricity flowing straight to your brain which must be sending dopamine in response.
“OMG!” you breathed “Is this what it’s like for you all the time?” you managed. How anyone could stay this heightened for an extended period of time was beyond you.
“Pretty much, our body can withstand it though, for humans it a high in the purest form and temporarily heightens your senses and dampens any pain responses” you were sure he was sat smirking at you amusement rich on his face. His lips nipped at your neck, fangs slightly grazing the surface before he kissed gently. You gasped, with your nerves on overdrive it felt so much more.
“See I told you you’d thank me, now just imagine how it will feel when you cum for me”. His own eyes flickered with his anticipation of his own, he’s never wanted to see anyone so consumed by pleasure as he did you.
“Now we don’t need this anymore” he tugged at your shirt feebly, gripping near the collar with both hands and tore the fabric like it was paper exposing your chest to the assault of YG’s hands and mouth. You squeezed your restricted thighs together tighter in an attempt to ease the ache he’d created.
“Don’t think so baby” he climbed off you and tapped your thigh to stop as he left the bed again. He quickly removed your shorts. He grabbed your ankles one by one and coated them with fur-lined cuffs
“This should stop that” he clicked something into place in the cuffs, your legs now spread shoulder width apart and that’s where they were staying.
“How you feeling baby?” Yoongi asked genuinely, you doubted he needed your verbal affirmation with the extent of your arousal soaking between your legs and your excited heartbeat.
“Could do with a hand to be honest” you quipped playfully, even though the ache within you was a taught bend ready to snap. He exhaled a chuckle which you heard with perfect clarity.
“Like this?” he palmed your heat, you wailed, it felt almost as strong as a climax in itself. You pressed your hips harder into hand
“Fuck Y/N” he exclaimed in a heavy breath.
“The way you look and smell for me right now is incredible”
“Stop staring and smelling and do something” you pleaded quite politely considering your inner desperation.
“You’re not in a situation where you’re in control princess” he slithered down and inhaled your sensitive nipple into his mouth and lavished it with his tongue, he mouth moved up slightly onto your breast and locked his lips, you felt your skin buckle and pierce under his canines. This small prick of pain was nothing compared to his fingers now inside you beckoning to the ceiling. You were grateful you was in a room with soundproofing as the uncontrollably loud moan escaping your lips filled the room. You pushed your head hard into the pillow as you strained against your soft restraints. The pressure in your muscles already preparing for the release, you felt his mouth loosen and fangs retract consciously.
“Keep going” you beckoned. He purred from deep within his chest and sank his teeth back in fully and with more pressure. The reapplication of pressure and pain knocking your muscles around his fingers into a frenzy of spasms. He bit harder in his enjoyment of your climax causing you to wince, you was about cry ‘rain’ when he stopped and his mouth jumped straight to yours inhaling your moans. Your blood transferred from his lips leaving a coppery taste as your tongues twisted together. “1” he breathed “Where’s your favourite place to be touched?” Yoongi asked after you’d both managed to maintain steady breaths.
“Down the centre of my back I guess” you responded, eager to see where this was going. You didn’t have to wait long.
Your legs were pulled and with his strength flipped you over onto your front easily.
“Up” he demanded, you bumbled your way onto all fours. He re-joined you back on the bed and pressed his hips to your behind, disappointing and frustratingly his hard cock was still clothed. The tips of his fingers drew a line down your spine, his naturally cold skin exaggerating the tingles felt. You gently pressed back into him, he retraced over the line but this time scraping his nails dragging a hiss through your teeth. Pain and pleasure seamlessly merging into one.
“Does this princess like it rough” Yoongi asked through his own teeth. Your response lacked words and was more of a dep guttural sound.
//SMACK//
His palm crashed into your behind lurching you forward with a wail.
“Use your words” he ordered with a sound not dissimilar to a snarl.
“Yes” You responded desperation spilling into your voice. You felt a slight shift of his weight before you was hissing through closed lips again, hot oil now burning, seeping into your skin along your spine. The heat flooding your system like lava. He gripped at your shoulders before spreading the oil covering your back.
“How does everything feel baby?” now running the palm of his hand over the swell of your ass.
“Incredible” your body was overrun with endorphins your head was clouding over. You sighed relieved as you felt him shuffle out of his bottoms. Finally! You thought.
He leaned against you from behind and gripped your hair and sat back on his calves yanking you back onto his member with ease. You both moaned deeply in sync at the blissful sensation. Instinctively you started moving yourself on him
//SMACK//
His hand left a pleasant sting on the side of your ass.
“Don’t move, I’m in control of your pleasure!” you stilled obediently, your quads were starting to ache as were your restrained wrists. Yoongi pushed his hips up and into you agonizingly slowly, it wasn’t long before you was craving more.
“Please” you begged feeling your body reaching its breaking point of what it could cope with.
“Please what?” he spoke in between deep grunts.
“Faster please, I need to, I can’t” he slammed into you. His thrust would have knocked you flying if one of his hands was not gripped at your hip.
“Fuck” you cried, feeling there are really no other appropriate words. “I need to cum” you whined desperately finishing one of your previous sentences. Your muscles were straining holding onto too much tension, as heavenly this was your body was coming undone.
“Nothing stopping you”
Your orgasm ripped through like you’d never experienced, you couldn’t divert any of it through moving. You’re moaning and expletives stopped when your contracting muscles exhausted themselves.
“2” Yoongi counted a loud. He unclicked the bar from your ankle cuffs, you thankfully shuffled onto your back and stretched your legs dissipating the ache.
“Ready?” Yoongi asked slipping of the blindfold. Bracing yourself to adjust to the lights but of course there wasn’t much, just the yellow haze from the table lamp.
“For what?” you decided to ask cautiously, your body drowned from the flood of chemicals. At this point you could feel the high draining from your system leaving your muscles spent. Even in the dim light the grin reaching devilishly across his face was obvious, his fangs broke up the visual of is plump blood stained lips. Yoongi spread your legs and knelt in-between them, hands locked into yours; like two long lost days fitting together as day and night. Yoongi yanked you with his left arm catapulting you up, his other hand rested in the curve of your back supporting you as gently lowered yourself onto him. Hands were clasping at his shoulders tightly.
“Does my cock make you feel good?” Yoongi asked breathily into your mouth between sloppy kisses.
“Oh oppa yes” your mouth spilled without speaking. He stilled you on him eyes a blaze in the darkness.
“Mmm you can call me that again princess” he purred nipping precisely at your bottom lip coaxing a trickle of blood from the puncture. Yoongi relishing in your essence even more when your hips gyrated “Lean back a bit baby” Yoongi asked panting outstretching his legs and widening them slightly allowing your behind to dip slightly to rest on the sofa bed with your legs still wrapped around his waist. You supported yourself having your hand tangled in his hair, your other arm stabilising your from behind. His hips bucked up into you, each thrust hitting you deeply, your body was riddled with a sweet throbbing oversensitivity which only escalated when his thumb began to make small ministrations on your clit.
“Yoongi I can’t” you stuttered concerned your body wouldn’t be able to deal with the orgasm rapidly building.
“C’mon baby just one more for me” he beckoned, his own hip movements becoming more erratic. Your whole body convulsed as the shattering climax took sole control of you, every neuron and muscle fired, sparking a wave of pleasure ripping through you. Crying out in a cocktail of bliss, sensitivity and exhaustion your grip around his neck tightened and with your remaining strength you pulled up. Your heaving, sweat coated bodies closer together as he groaned out your name into your neck his cock twitching inside you.
“Rain Rain!” exclaiming breathlessly alerting Yoongi you was done. Yoongi smiled a sweetly satisfied smile brushing your damp hair out of your face. “Okay princess threes enough” You collapsed next to one another, the heat radiating of you Yoongi felt competing with his own cool skin. He turned on his side giving you more space.
“Thank you” your head turned to his direction confused.
“I thought I was supposed to be thanking you?” your throat was dry making your voice slightly coarse.
“Well yes but I’ve never done that with anyone before so thank you for making it incredible” You still had no idea what he was on about this notion obviously reached your eyes and manipulated your facial expression.
“Given anyone my blood in that quantity before sex” he explained. You heart fluttered with flattery.
“How come?”
“Never really wanted to, it’s one of the most intimate and personal things a vampire can do with someone” his explanation continuing.
“Well I guess that makes me special then” your cheeks tinted a light pink, Yoongi was able to see with perfect clarity.
“Yes it does” He fished his bottoms from the floor and redressed his lower half.
“It also means that in the vampire community we’re married now” His face was blind to you, he sounded serious well he always did so that wasn’t much to go on. Anger and panic swirled in the pit of your stomach, eyes wide with shock. Yoongi’s teasing laugh hit you
“Just kidding, your face” he admitted still chuckling to himself.
“Min Yoongi! Get out!” You retaliated playfully.
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She Makes Me Sin - Chapter 5 (Role Reversal AU - Ben SoloxOC)
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Warnings: Language, Sexual references, Sexual situations, Riding crops, Dom/Sub relationships
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Chapter 5
Ben’s P.O.V
Cora had not been to visit since I told her no. I guess she was listening. Although I knew she would likely have something up her sleeve and I dreaded it. The silence was slowly becoming annoying. She’d even made sure that my meal portions were halved. And I no longer had access to books. The room was slowly becoming a cell once more. Perhaps I should play by her rules, that way she could grow to trust me. Maybe then she would open up more about why she became what she is now. Maybe then I could convince her to come back with me. Or at least let me go. If she let me go but chose to stay, then that was something I had to accept.
But what if someone back home found out what I did? I could cause embarrassment to my family. The Jedi that got too emotionally involved with a Sith. That would make my mother look great. And she already struggled with being known as Darth Vader’s daughter. Whilst she acted like she didn’t care about her reputation and the opinions of others I still didn’t want to do any further damage. I didn’t want to be a failure. But I already was for that stupid moment of weakness. It wouldn’t happen again, I couldn’t let it. I had to remain strong. My guide had to be the force.
Unless, Cora really was telling the truth when she’d said she’d protect me. It was hard to trust her. Although she had yet to give me a real reason not to. She had given me this room, made sure I was fed and watered. She’d kept me alive when there were people on this ship who would love nothing more to kill the last Jedi. I guess I did owe her. But sex and relationships were forbidden. There had to be another way.
There was a hard knock at my door. I knew the sound of Cora’s knock and that wasn’t it. I had no idea who else would want to visit me. I swallowed my nerves and headed over to the door. I hesitantly opened it up a crack, setting eyes on my visitor. Outside stood General Hux, looking rather annoyed. I had only seen him a few times in passing. But he had quite the reputation. Why would he need to come to my room? Unless my luck had finally run out and here was here to kill me. Hux forced the door open further and strolled into my room. I hesitantly closed the door, turning to face him.
I made sure to stay close to the door just in case. He didn’t seem angry however, more…bored. “I have no interest in killing you right now. You can relax,” Hux spoke. Right now? Gee, I really felt at ease. “I’m here to give you advice. And I won’t be doing this often. So, I would listen carefully if I were you. Upsetting Cora is not a smart thing to do, whether its intentional or not. She picked you for reasons I can’t quite understand myself. But it’s something that should feel like a privilege,” Hux explained. I frowned. She’d clearly sent him to say all this. I folded my arms across my chest, waiting for him to continue. If she wanted to threaten me she should do it herself.
“There have been others who have been defiant like yourself. They didn’t last long. And she really does seem to have a fixation with you. Keeping her happy is in your best interest,” he continued. “If she wants to threaten me or convince me she can do it herself. She doesn’t need to send her lapdog to do it.” Hux seemed to radiate pure rage in that moment. I noticed the way his fists clenched hard enough that I could hear the leather of his gloves straining. “Don’t say I didn’t warn you,” he snapped before storming out of my room. That was her favourite toy? With his anger issues? The thought baffled me. I locked my door and sat down by the foot of the bed.
I closed my eyes and focused, feeling the force around me. I reached out to her, hoping we still had the same force connection from when we were children. I found her with a little difficulty, she was much more trained than I was. “I just had a visit from the General,” I spoke, through our connection. “And how did that go? Oh, never mind. He’s back now. You’ve really pissed him off,” there was amusement in her tone. “You don’t need to send people to threaten me Cora. I thought you would at least do it yourself.” “Fine. I’ll be with you shortly.”
She practically threw me out of her head, the jolt hitting me hard and painfully. I felt my stomach drop in fear. I hadn’t expected it to be so easy to coax her. I’d never experienced her anger before, I didn’t know what to expect. But I was afraid. I shouldn’t be, yet there was still that awful feeling in my stomach. I sat there, waiting for her arrival. The seconds seemed to drag, each second the fear becoming worse. I heard the door unlock, she’d probably used the force. She opened the door and entered my room. She was in all black again, black leather pants, knee high boots, a black off the shoulder shirt that showed plenty of cleavage. Her hair was pulled back in a tight, high ponytail. If it weren’t for the stern look on her face I would have found her alluring.
She approached me, lifting her leg and pinning me to the foot of the bed with her heel. It was jabbing hard into my shoulder that it would likely bruise. She leaned down, pulling something from her belt. I felt leather stroke across my cheek. I flinched, moving out of its reach. “I sent General Hux because he would be nicer about it. But if your going to be rude to my other toys then I’ll have to teach you some manners,” she warned. The close proximity had me feeling all sorts of ways. The control she had over me. I swallowed, my cock twitching in anticipation. I cursed inwardly, why the fuck was this arousing?
Cora glanced down, smirking at my noticeable bulge. “Such an easy little slut,” she taunted. Her foot moved down, freeing my shoulder. She gently rubbed the flat of the boot over my hardness. I bit my lip, my breathing noticeably heavier. I wanted nothing more than to pull her on my lap and kiss her. But that would give her what she wanted. I had to show restraint. She continued the teasing torture, waiting for me to cave. We both knew I would eventually. And I was aching by this point. “Please,” I breathed. She cocked her head, “I didn’t quite catch that.” “Please,” I repeated, louder this time.
She stopped rubbing, putting her foot back on the ground with a wicked smirk. “No,” Cora said softly. “What?” “No. You don’t want this arrangement, remember?” I groaned in frustration. The need for her was too strong. I had to have her. I moved forward, leaning down to kiss the toe of her boot. I kissed my way up her leg and thigh, before lifting the hem of her shirt and kissing her bare flesh. Her smirk had turned to a grin. I was ready to completely submit myself to her. I would do anything for her. “Please,” I said once more.
She ran her fingers through my hair in an almost caring manner. I looked up at her, hoping I had convinced her to change her mind. “We won’t be going around in circles like this again, understood? If you change your mind again I’ll have no choice but to dispose of you before you’ve even proven your worth. And that would be such a shame,” she warned. “Yes, mistress,” I replied. “We’ll start your training tonight. Unfortunately, I have a meeting to go to soon.” I pleaded with my eyes, hoping she wouldn’t leave me in such a state. She caressed my cheek, offering me a look of sympathy. “I’m sorry, you know I wish I could stay. But I promise to make it up to you tonight, ok?” “Okay.”
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