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angryschnauzer · 3 years

Text

He’s A Keeper

Summary: Working as an artist hired by Durrell Zoo, you spend your days sketching the day to day life of the animals and the keepers. One keeper in particular catches your eye.

Pairing: AU Zookeeper Henry Cavill x Female Reader (no race or size mentioned)

Fandom: Henry Cavill

Warnings: NSFW, 18+, Friends to Lovers, Oral Sex (Female Receiving), Fingering, Safe Sex/Use of Condoms, Realistic Sex/Relationship discussion, Vaginal Sex.

Typo’s are allowed to run wild and free, only the finest organic free range fuck ups for me.

I do not operate a tag list, but if you follow @angryschnauzerwrites and hit ‘notifications’, you’ll get an alert every time i post something new. Back catalogue/masterlist can be found there and also on AO3

He’s A Keeper

Working the pencils over the sketchpad you quietly captured the beauty of the animals the zookeepers had nursed back to full health, the Ruffed Lemur currently hanging off the keepers arm as he spoke through the headset to the group of excited school children watching through the glass.

You’d been hired by the zoo to capture day to day life at the zoo throughout the summer season, drawing the animals and the humans, however there was one particular human you had found yourself drawn to numerous times, and that was the rather tasty zookeeper by the name of Henry. He also had one of the sexiest voices you’d ever had the pleasure to listen to, so as he explained about the Lemur’s your mind wandered, as did your gaze;

“... originally from Madagascar, and have been part of Durrell zoo since 1982 where they have been essential to the breeding program…”

Your mind fell even further into the gutter at the word ‘breeding’, your eyes raking down Henry’s body, taking in how the branded t-shirt clung to his chest before tapering down to a narrow waist where it was neatly tucked into cargo pants that did little to hide how thick his thighs were and a pert arse you could bounce a satsuma off of. Biting the end of the pencil you had all but given up drawing, only realising that the talk was over when the group of school children were being herded onto the next exhibit by their tour guide and teachers.

When the kids had disappeared you finally got back to drawing, watching as Henry finished up feeding the Lemur’s before he met your gaze and smiled at you. Tapping your pencil on the glass he frowned and shook his head, before smiling and pointing to the sign in the corner of the window that said ‘do not tap the glass’, getting closer you tried to mouth your words to him, but was surprised when his eyes went wide in almost shock, before looking down and realising you had pressed your chest to the glass, your low cut cami top helping to accentuate your cleavage. When you looked up again he was gone and you let out a sigh of disappointment, before he appeared through a door to the side of the viewing area;

“Hi” he had a smile that could charm the panties off a nun; “Did you want me?”

“God yes…” Oh fuck, did you say that out loud?; “Sorry, i mean, you’ve dropped the foam bit off your headset...”

He glanced into the enclosure just at the moment one of the larger Lemur’s picked up the small round piece of foam and staring straight at Henry, proceeded to rip it into tiny pieces.

“Furry little fucker…” he cursed under his breath before turning back to you, but before he could say anything a group of other keepers came walking in and soon you were hanging onto the periphery of their conversation where they were discussing going for drinks after work. Moving to pack your stuff up as you presumed they weren’t including you, but a call of your nickname drew your attention;

“Hey Da Vinci, you up for a few beers after work?”

You hesitated to answer, glancing at Henry who had a smile across his face and a hopeful look in his eye;

“We’re all going…”

“Ok, yeah sure, that’d be great” you agreed.

An hour later you were sitting on the wall outside the main entrance waiting for the rest of the keepers to finish their shifts, smiling as you saw them coming out of the doors, and the ensuing 10 minutes that followed as people sorted out who was driving and how many people could fit into just a couple of small cars. As spaces were allocated Henry laughed and shook his head;

“I am NOT riding five up in a Renault Clio, i’m too tall, i’ll have to fold myself in half! Where are we going anyway, i can take my bike and just walk home after”

Waiting as everyone discussed location and finished off seat allocation, they’d finally decided when Henry turned to you;

“Hey, i think the last seats are in the stoner wagon…”

“Oh…” you didn’t have anything against anyone smoking pot, but didn’t fancy being in a car you could barely see out of the windows of.

“But you can ride with me on my bike?”

Looking to where Henry was pointing, you saw a fairly large trails bike, the kind that could go 50mph over rough land and through forests;

“I… I don’t have a helmet…”

“Wait here, let me run into the locker room and grab the spare i keep here”

Everyone else pulled away as Henry ran into the zoo, and you glanced at the bike. You’d never been on a motorbike before, so this would be a first. Stowing everything loose in your backpack, you hooked it over both shoulders just as Henry reemerged from the building, swinging his keys from one finger as he came to stand in front of you;

“Hey, thanks for waiting”

“No worries! So, where are we going again?”

“The pub in Rozel does good food and pulls a great pint” he nodded to his left and you saw a row of motorbikes; “You ever ridden?”

Shaking your head you laughed; “No, never”

He carefully helped you put the helmet on, his nimble fingers helping to secure the strap beneath your chin before putting his own on and climbing onto the bike, pushing it off the kick stand and nodding for you to climb on. You tried to sit back, but he wrapped his arm behind his back and pulled you flush to his body;

“Gotta hold on tight, otherwise you’ll throw the balance off. Lean when i lean and just squeeze a bit harder if you’re scared, the ride won’t take long” he shouted over the thrum of the noisy engine idling.

The ride down to the small village of Rozel had been exhilarating, from the vibration of the motorbike between your legs to the way you were able to wrap your arms around Henry’s waist and cling to him as he hurtled around the country roads at what seemed like warp speed, when in fact it was little more than 30mph. By the time you arrived in the small fishing cove your heart was racing and you actually let out a reluctant moan at the thought of removing your arms from around Henry’s waist.

“C’mon” he grinned as he helped you off the bike; “I’ll buy you a vodka and coke to calm your nerves”

“It wasn’t nerves” you muttered to yourself, smirking as you know he heard you.

The group had managed to find a cluster of small tables chairs and benches in the corner of the pub beer garden, and as the sun had set behind the hills to the rear of the pub, the cold Atlantic sea had glowed in pale blues and pinks. You were squashed into a bench with Henry on one side and another enormous hulk of a keeper on the other, and as the temperature had dropped you’d found yourself thankful that Henry had casually rested his arm behind you so you could leech some of his warmth, but it didn’t stop a violent shiver involuntarily running up your spine.

“Cold?” Henry asked quietly, before gently wrapping his arm around your shoulder and pulling you close; “Any better?”

You nodded and let out a very quiet whine as you smiled at him, completely surrounded by his scent and warmth. It made your stomach do a flip and you clenched your thighs together, something that didn’t get past Henry as your leg twitched against his thigh. Before either of you could say anything an enormous bowl of cheesy fries was set down between you, your stomach growling at the aroma’s that wafted around you as it turned out someone had ordered sharing bowls for the whole table.

With the meal mostly devoured as you’d sat side by side on a small wooden bench in the pub garden, laughing as you fed each other and strings of cheese hung from your fingers. As the giggles of a joke faded away you glanced at Henry’s almost finished pint;

“Hey, you aren’t planning on riding that bike home are you?”

“Nah, i’d never drive after a pint, let alone three… my place is just behind The Navigator restaurant…” he paused; “Oh god, where are you staying, do i need to call you a taxi?”

“No no, i’m renting a studio up the hill, on the hairpin bend”

“Oh…”

It wasn’t a bad ‘oh’ and there was definitely something loaded in the subtext, so when people had started to leave and arrange ride’s back to St Helier and St Johns it felt natural for Henry to stand with his arm around your shoulders as you both waved everyone off.

“Can i walk you home?” he asked, his voice low and full of promise, and you nodded as he slid his hand into yours, leading you along the low coast road that skirted the harbour.

You hadn’t gotten far before the evening turned even better, a brief suggestion of a walk along the beach as the tide was out soon had your feet in soft sand as you were pressed to the weathered stone of the sea wall, Henry’s lips on your neck as your fingers dug into his back, his teeth nipping and biting at whatever exposed flesh he could find. You hadn’t even realised he was going lower until he was on his knees in front of you, those sea blue irises staring up at you as he pressed kisses to your legs where your shorts ended. His fingers softly rested on the button and he finally spoke, his voice low and thick with lust;

“May i?”

Nodding fervently you bit your lip as you watched him slowly unbutton you, pulling the garment down your legs until you were able to step out. Never breaking eye contact he lifted your leg and gently rested it on his shoulder, pressing open mouthed kisses up your inner thigh until his face was pressed against your panties and his wide tongue worked against the soaked cotton and lace. His finger crooked beneath them and tugged the scrap of fabric to the side, seeking out your clit before tracing down to your cunt and tenderly teasing the entrance.

“Henry… please…” you whined, desperate for more

“Don’t you worry, i’m gonna make you see stars…”

Pushing his head forwards his lips caught your clit as he slowly slid two fingers into your soaked channel. You let out a long groan at the feel of his lips and fingers finding the right spot immediately, his other hand cupping the back of your thigh before he ran it around your hip and caught your hand, intertwining his fingers with yours as he quickly drove you closer and closer to the edge with that added touch of intimacy. Suddenly he hummed against your clit and the world exploded, making you cum so hard you truly did see stars as a white heat bloomed in your belly and you rode Henry’s fingers until you were spent.

As you rested against the wall behind you he carefully withdrew his fingers, licking them clean as he tugged your shorts up your legs. You couldn’t help but to notice the obscene bulge in the front of his cargo pants, your hand rubbing over the smooth curve of it;

“You keep doing that and i’ll cum in my boxers… “ he panted out, his lips inches from yours; “What’s your room like?”

“Its a little summer cabin studio right at the end of the garden, away from the other holiday rentals and the main house… what about you…”

“Shared flat with two other guys from the zoo. They’re probably drinking in the lounge right now… so, your place?”

Unlocking the door you stepped inside and turned on a small lamp, standing aside so Henry could come into your small summer living space.

“Mmm nice” he nodded and looked around; “Wanna give me the tour?”

You snorted out a laugh at the formality, and held your arm out;

“Well this is the kitchen area, right next door we have the smallest shower room in Jersey, and here’s the bed” you didn’t need to take a single step for the ‘tour’, the room seeming even smaller as Henry took a single stride and wrapped his arm around your back, pulling you flush with his chest. Never breaking eye contact he gently trailed a single finger over your cheek, his thumb brushing your plump bottom lip;

“Are you going to be good for me?”

Your legs almost buckled at the deep baritone of his voice, igniting something within you that you hadn’t even known existed, eagerly nodding;

“Yes Sir”

Lowering his lips to yours he kissed you, his tongue pushing past your lips as he took control, walking the pair of you back until your legs hit the bed and you fell back onto the soft unmade covers. Covering your body with his, he quickly stripped you of your clothing, his mouth trailing behind his hands so every inch of you was gifted with a kiss.

Standing between your legs he pulled his t-shirt over his head and you couldn’t help but to moan at the sight of his body; toned and just the right amount of hair on his chest and a treasure trail on his abdomen that surely led to untold riches. Quickly sitting up your hands joined his on his button to his cargo pants;

“May i?”

Henry released his hands and nodded, watching as you carefully plucked the button before lowering the zipper painfully slowly, his boxers tented obscenely and you couldn’t help but to cup him in your palm, the searing heat of his engorged cock a welcome feel in your hands, the wide mushroom head clearly visible through the stretched fabric. Unceremoniously tugging the rest of his clothing down, you felt yourself getting wetter as his beautiful cock was finally revealed; big, thick and uncut, you had to taste him and quickly ducked your head forwards, swallowing his head between your lips as his hands flew to your hair to steady himself.

Now it was your turn to drive him crazy with your mouth, taking him as deep as you could even though it was barely half of his length, you wrapped both hands around what was left, the thick root of his shaft filling both palms. A few more pumps and he pulled his hips back with a gasp, a trail of spittle hanging from your lips to his bulbous tip;

“If you keep doing that i’m gonna cum far too soon…” he said, his voice shaking; “Lay back and let me treat you right…”

Scooting up the bed you settled against the pillows as you watched Henry shed himself of the rest of his clothing, his boots and socks hooked off, cargo pants and underwear all left in a messy pile at the side of the bed, before he crawled up the mattress like a Panther stalking its prey.

Capturing your lips for another searing kiss, you felt his hot shaft against your belly, burning against your skin and you so desperately wanted to feel him inside you. Pulling away just slightly you were already breathless;

“Just a second…” reaching for the small drawer at side of the bed you pulled out an unopened box of condoms, Henry sitting back on his knees as you ripped the box’s cellophane open with your teeth and pulled out a small foil packet, tearing it open before smoothing the latex over Henry’s shaft. Looking up to his face he wore a rather sheepish smile;

“Sorry, shoulda’ thought of that”

“S’ok, a girl’s gotta keep sharp these days…”

“Right…” he met your gaze; “But you know, if you had gotten pregnant, i would have stood by you”

“Umm thanks? But its for STD’s. I’m on the pill”

“Oh… good thinking…”

A tense pause hung over the pair of you, before you reached up and rested your hand on his chest;

“Shall we continue?”

At your words the tension in the room suddenly dissipated, Henry kissing you as he slid a hand between your bodies so he could position himself at your entrance, groaning as he pushed in slowly breaching your body. Your tight channel hugged him tight, unfamiliar with such a size splitting your walls so he paused, pressing light kisses to your face as your body grew accustomed with his size and the heavy weight of his dick in your pillowy soft embrace. Finally you moaned out his name;

“Henry… please…”

“What do you need?”

“Move… please move. Fuck me, please”

Pushing up on his forearms he started to fluidly move his hips, slow and steady, each thrust was gentle but firm, your body yielding to him as he started to increase the pace, the sound of hot bodies meeting filling the small wooden cabin as the gentle sounds of the sea not far away filled the rest of the night. Soft moans spilled from your lips at the feel of his body playing yours like a delicate instrument, waiting for the chorus and the inevitable crescendo. But he was going to play the entire symphony first, knowing how to get you to sing the high notes as the thrum of your bodies were in tune with each other completely.

With the stretch of his girth and the way the curve of it meant he was able to find your g-spot with every thrust you were fast approaching your orgasm, your body trembling as your lips found a life of their own;

“Henry… please, so good… keep doing that… oh god, i’m gonna cum…”

“That’s it, my good girl, cum on my cock, let me feel you squeezing me so tight… feel so amazing right now… that’s it, you can do it…”

With a cry you came, your legs wrapped around his waist as you pulled him deep whilst your body shook with a fierce orgasm, triggering his own as he pumped a heavy load into the condom.

Finally spent, Henry settled on top of you, his weight a heavy comfort as your sweaty bodies lay skin to skin, the gentle roughness of his chest hair against your naked breasts a tender reminder of his virility. When he started to soften he finally shifted, holding the condom at the base as he pulled out and staggered the few steps to your small bathroom;

“I’ll be back in a second, gotta sort this out…”

The door closed and you shifted on the bed, pulling the duvet back and sliding between the sheets, listening as you heard the tell tale sound of a man urinating and the high pitched, double barrelled squeak of a fart. The flush of the toilet and water running soon after meant you knew the second he would reappear, a flannel in his hand and he stopped dead, his cheeks suddenly bright crimson;

“You heard that didn’t you?”

“It's a small wooden cabin… yes i did”

“Sorry” he approached the bed and with a warm flannel he carefully cleaned between your thighs, pressing a kiss to your lips as he did. When finished he sat on the side of the bed; “Can i stay the night, or did you want me to go?”

“Have you got work tomorrow?”

“Nope. You?”

“Nope. Please, stay”

He quickly threw the flannel into the sink in the bathroom, before with a giggle climbed under the duvet and pulled you into his arms;

“So, how many more condom’s you got?”

The morning light broke softly through the trees that surrounded your cabin, your body sore but sated, knowing every bruise and ache came from soft lips, sharp teeth, or skilled fingers, apart from that one ache deep inside that you knew exactly what had caused that delicious soreness, and the owner and cause of all of it still softly slept in your bed. Climbing out you quickly used the bathroom, and as you came back into the room the artist in you couldn’t help but to admire how the dappled morning light cascaded over Henry’s body. Slipping his work t-shirt over your head you pulled your sketchbook from your backpack and settled onto the only chair in the room, quietly working carbon to paper.

Henry woke 45 minutes later, the gentle scratching of your art making him squint at the bright daylight, before laying back on the pillows with his arms spread;

“Still life class?”

Setting your sketchbook down you padded across the room and climbed onto the bed;

“Sorry, i couldn’t help myself… the way the sun was hitting the muscles of your back and shoulders, you were like an anatomy masterpiece”

With a laugh and moving much quicker than you thought he was possible of, he grabbed you by the waist and turned you, his body atop of yours;

“Well that’s enough of that, i would like to become better acquainted with your anatomy… and as we’ve both got the day off i suggest we make the most of it”

Laughing you fell into his embrace, sighing with happiness. Henry really was a keeper, as you were for sure not going to let him go.

#henry cavill #henry cavill x reader #henry cavill smut #henry cavill x you #henry cavill fanfiction

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hhjs · 3 years

Text

love or lack thereof.

pairing — felix x reader

genre / trope — angst, fluff / exes with benefits.

word count — 7.7k

warnings — suggestive, heavy implications, swearing, some making out but no actual r rated stuff but i will say this is suitable for 18 and up audiences.

note — this is unedited, subject to change. spare me lol

There are two sides to every person. The side that you want people to see and the side that you keep to yourself.

You think you've come to discover all those aspects of Lee Felix. Given that he's sweet, unassuming and inexplicably kind to the naked eye but you know, the rising anger in you knows he's only ever been cruel to you.

"Move," you seethe, he moves to let you in but you unintentionally knock your shoulder against his. There's people on the subway, and you hate the way Felix's innocent gaze finds yours for a second and it makes you look like the bad guy.

You feel the disapproving glare of a grandma who has a crumpled catalogue about seasonal pie recipes on her lap, as if she can't believe how much of a cunt you were being to an absolute stranger.

A roll of eyes follows, fishing for your ear phones, if only they knew.

Seeing your ex boyfriend outside of your casual deal hits you with the force of a punch to the gut. But you hid it exceptionally well. Arrogantly jutting your chin upwards. Whilst he cowers beside you, having supposedly caught your sour mood.

To think you had spent an hour with him in a bedroom just formerly...is rather strange. You've been sleeping with him for the past few months now and where it had begun is slightly mysterious to you — was it Chan's birthday party or a clubbing gone wrong one night stand just after Felix had come back to town....? You aren't entirely sure.

Albeit the arrangement is ingrained in your head — what you have with him is a secret strictly kept from your friends who otherwise if even caught air of a mere conversation between you two would invite an influx of queries. This is simple, physical, you don't have time for a relationship, let alone one with him and to mend how utterly lonely you are with someone who hasn't already seen you naked, someone who you couldn't blindly trust, is too much work.

Even though Felix is indubitably affected by your unwavering indifference, something he wasn't used to when you were together because of how giving you were to sate his utterly needy tendencies. Now he feels himself clawing at your hardened exterior in search of just those affections to no actual avail —hurt crossing his eyes when you sneak out of bed without saying goodbye, when days pass and you don't call or text and most importantly, when you're in public and you can't be bothered to spare him as much as a glance. To you, it's nothing more and nothing less. You make it a necessity to keep reminding him.

See you liked to pretend you're a resilient person. That in your heart you really do forgive people and move on.

But he is an exception.

"Did you eat?" He perks up, his voice is small. Careful.

You keep your stoic expression, looking ahead. "No."

Then he blinks, like he usually does when he doesn't understand why you act the way you do. Impolite, communicating only in monosyllables.

Do you really hate him that much?

There's a hoodie pulled over his black hair, longer along the neck,headphones dangling from his neck and his backpack in his hand, he hopes when he holds onto the same railing as you are, that your fingers should brush just a little.

Despite the way you adamantly ignore him, Felix opens his mouth to utter a passing inquiry. Your jaw clenches. And you desperately begin to scan the city map plastered inside to navigate passengers to their destinations.

"Can we...do you want to get something to eat..." He swallows, "together?"

As if he's crazy for even making such a proposition, you look at him once but from the corner of your eye and he thinks that's a lot considering how often you look past him, through him, never at him. You shake your head, giving him a warning stare.

Across from you, his reflection is frowning at your negative response. Still staring at you with a marveling gleam in his eyes, how much you've changed over the past two years just as he has....still takes him by surprise. Suddenly and unexpectedly, his eyes flicker to yours and he finds you staring at his image against the glassed doors. And like a deer caught in headlights, your heart drops to the depths of your stomach.

The announcement above falls deaf to your ears as you exit in a blind rush of sheer panic. Ignoring the biting cold and unfamiliar station. Your stop is still quite far. Maybe you'd have to take the taxi... or walk.

But in the face of all those hassles you sense yourself feeling incredibly relieved...because frankly, you think, you could go to hell and back if gets you away from him.

—

"So you came to tell me you're just gonna give up? Is that it?"

Felix carefully glances at you through his lashes, silently pursing his lips as to convey the answer.

You stare at the speckles of light kissing up his freckled cheeks, his big beaming eyes, a slightly low bridge but rounded tip of his nose paired with a small upturned mouth.

You can't believe you won't see him again.

Whenever he'd catch a break, he'd take the 2 hour bus to town and come see you, meet you and those once in six months meetings alone, to you, compensated for his lengthy absence.

So it couldn't be the distance, you thought, if that were the case he'd have dumped you when he moved to the capital for university.

Felix just doesn't want to be with you anymore.

"You don't get it...." He closes his eyes, as if he doesn't want to see himself saying what he is about to say, you almost don't get the resistance in his tone. The subtle drop of his Adam's apple. "I don't want to hurt you." He starts, "Just think about this rationally... we're so young, what if I find someone else there?"

Someone...else?

Is it that easy to dispose of you? Aren't you enough?

How foolish of you to only ever think of him.

It felt like Felix was kicking you where knew would hurt the most.

Your sardonic laugh is cracked, garbled and it's so fucking embarrassing that you're crying in the middle of a fast food joint, your fries have gone cold. Had you known seeing him this time would be vastly different from usual, you wouldn't have ordered at all. Why didn't he tell you before? Why had he insisted on catching you unawares?

But then again...this isn't about you at all. This is about Lee Felix. This is about him reducing your worth to make room for himself.

Ultimately, you understand, what is worse than not being loved back is being loved by someone who doesn't love you as much as you do them.

"Well I won't stand in your way then,"

You clear your throat,

"Fuck..." you rub your temple, the sadist in you coughing up hysterical laughs. The ache inside your heart at this point has turned into physical pain, cracks fissuring out against its surface and gnawing at the flesh like its being torn apart at the seams.

You should've seen this coming.

Everyone told you and told you you could only drag on an opposites attract sort of relationship for so long before you start to realise how incompatible you are.

Felix has the audacity to reach over and place his fingertips on your knuckles,his eyes are sad, overflowing with pity. It makes you feel small, the way he looks at you, small, sad and abandoned.

What tips you over the edge, however, is how calm he seems, as if he had been precisely planning to dump you for days and months and years while you continue to make a fool out of yourself never have forseen his decision.

There are tears running down your cheeks, abusing your vision with a vicious sting. You bring your sleeve to collect the needless moisture in a sudden rise of temper that is oh so typical of you.

You snatch your hand away from his touch.

"Don't touch me." You say, the simple comment transfers pain to Felix's eyes, mouth parting in silent words. You want to scream at him, you want to shake him by the collar and tell say something, just say anything at all and I will forgive you. Goddamnit.

In a perfect world, you think, a world where things happened exactly the way they should, you wouldn't have said, instead,

"And don't you fucking dare come back here...ever again."

And...in that very perfect world, he would've listened.

—

Felix thinks he could, dare he say, love everything about you. Even though you most certainly deserve someone who hasn't hurt you the way he has.

Now it's funny actually, how the tables have turned...back then, he wasn't sure about you and now you aren't about him.

Felix doesn't really blame you though...because he knows he asked for it.

Your presence in his life has somehow become an absolute necessity to say the least. And ironically enough, while he had so confidently pushed you to let go of him, he realises he had been holding onto you all along.

Now what was he saying...again?

Right. Felix loves everything about you.

But what he loves most...is the way your hand instinctively finds his heart when you're kissing. It's just a simple movement of your fingers splaying against his chest, the warmth of them seeping through the fabric of his shirt. He doesn't even know why it means so much to him.

His hand drops from your ass to the back of your thighs to situate you closer to his chest. He moans into the kiss when your teeth comes to scrape against his bottom lip, your ministrations are typically rough and speedy but he is seemingly far too absorbed by the exhilarating feeling coursing throughout his entire form — it's not just blatant lust, he knows, but a much deeper understanding that he is inexplicably gladdened by the fact that he's touching you and you're touching him.

A shaky breath leaves Felix's parted lips as he cranes his neck to allow your lingering kisses to shift along his angular jaw.

Then without quite meaning to, his vision focuses on the table clock that reads it's well past midnight...you had run late tonight for reasons you neglected to disclose. Now that he really focuses, a strong musky fragrance akin to unfamiliar men's cologne wafts up his nostrils.

It couldn't be....

As Felix's suspicions run deeper, he restlessly begins to search up every aspect of his surroundings as best as he can in the limited provision of light. There is a large coat discarded on his bed, one he hasn't seen you wear before...then again it might not be yours at all...

You notice how he's stopped responding to you, so you pause, leaning back, still on his lap. "Is something the matter?"

Felix swallows, blinking up innocently at you. This deal is simple, isn't it? He knew what he was getting into the first time you got together and the second and the third and so on, so why had the possibility of you getting involved with someone else even bother him then?

Both of you knew why.

And what's worse is that Felix is sensitive by nature, never truly succeeding to hide his emotions, especially intense ones when faced with them. So he is hyper aware of the fact that what he is feeling in the moment is not jealousy, it's neither anger nor resentment but a deep seated insecurity that he will lose you.

Again.

"Were you...with someone?"

As expected, your hands resign from cupping his face, you avoid looking at him.

"What?"

Felix clears his throat, his accent thicker, voice heavy from disuse. He thinks about something being with you in the same way only he has...and it causes a dull ache inside his chest.

He rests his head back against the sofa and shrugs lazily. As if to prove a point, as if to say did he touch you here? his fingers ride up your t shirt, gently cupping your ribs, he tries not to look too satisfied when you quiver under the touch.

Still you lift yourself up and the sudden lack of contact almost makes him whine.

You stand before him. A hand at your hip.

"Why are you acting like this?" You say and he notes you sound more... curious than annoyed. Though what frustrates him is that you hadn't answered his question. "I thought I made myself clear...there are rules we agreed upon."

Oh he knows — no staying over, no personal questions, no jealousy.

Felix purses his lips. The downside of your forwardness, the same utterly admirable trait he finds really fucking hot, the one that conditions you to tell Minho off when he hogs all of Felix's brownies though the latter himself is too much of a pushover to say anything, the same one which had in times of recurring doubtfulness assured him of your strong feelings towards him, is that you say whatever comes to mind without sparing anyone's feelings.

"I'm just asking, [........]," he lies, trying to control the pain from projecting itself onto his voice. It hurts to see the way you jump to defend yourself around him, as though you're scared he'll hurt you again. The lack of faith you have him, after all this time, causes him hurt. "Why are you getting so upset...."

Felix is gentle. Communicating his feelings through his actions rather than words, cooly, slowly. And you are the exact opposite — there is an immediacy in your conveyance, a roughness. You mean what you say and you say what you mean so you think everyone does too. Which is why, he concludes, his present actions are insufficient to remove the seeds of resentment he'd left in the wake of his bitter utterances when you broke up.

But Felix was only 18 then, a kid completely unaware of his overwhelming need to have you in his life....what matters is, he's trying...he really is, to recover from his mistakes......shouldn't that least matter?

Thinking the slight inhibition in his tone is just a figment of your imagination and that he is simply and indifferently inquiring you, you feel a wave of embarrassment wash over you. Then you drop down on the bed, feeling for his remote.

You sniff through your nose and against your better judgement say, "I went out with an acquaintance,"

On weekends Chan usually wasn't home, you could come over. This is the routine, it has been for some time now...so, you've come to know Felix's room more intimately than your own, the walls are a deep blue, like the kind of blue out of a Holly Warburton painting. There's an old Coldplay poster on the back of his door and X-Men action figures from eons ago lined on the edges of his bookshelf.

You know where everything goes when though it's dark. But that doesn't mean anything.

It shouldn't.

"A acquaintance who gave you their coat midwinter...you must be close,"

You ignore his pointed comment, he ignores the way your eyes light up when you talk about this acquaintance.

"He's nice." You say, "He walked me to the station and everything."

A happy hum comes in response.

Because when was the last time you talked to him as freely as you are?

Felix plops down on his stomach beside you, elevating his form on his elbows. His fingers come to brush loose strands out of your eyes. Your gaze meets his for the second time that week. Slower. As if you hadn't minded looking him this time. He feels his heart being tugged at all possible angles.

Then, because he can't stop himself — he leans down and kisses you, tentative and indolent, like he has all the time in the world, like all he wants to do is kiss. Don't get him wrong...you've done downright unspeakable things with him, to him...but nothing mediates his adoration for you without the employment of speech like these little chaste...purposeless movements. His fingers coming to splay against your neck, thumbing along your throat when you gulp, the tip of your nose brushing against his cheekbone, eyes fluttering shut. They're...they're intimate. Utterly special. He knows you feel it too, from the way you look slightly surprised, searching his face, eyes skimming up any fragment of emotion conveyed in his features. But you don't encourage it, slowly shifting to turn your back as you lay quietly against his chest.

"Let me stay here tonight," you say, "I'm tired."

"Okay,"

Felix thinks you've broken not one, but two rules now. He hadn't expected you to answer. He hadn't expected you to get into bed with no intention of departing either.

Though he doesn't hold it against you, this is what he wants, for you to open up to him again...after all. These changes can't be bad changes, even if they are little, it's still progress...right?

—

You wet your fingers, dipping the moistened muscle against the clay mold. All around you is not as eerily quite as it is in your apartment, footsteps thrumming against hardwood floor, kiddish humming from the kitchen, the smell of sugar in the air, you've never worked outside of your home station and well...in class. You thought of yourself as a self sufficient individualist, you liked to believe that you didn't enjoy other people's company like you did your own, with the exception of your roommate. But that's only since you aren't close enough for her to disturb you.

Yet with Soomi moved out for good, the place felt...odd to stay by yourself.

So you found yourself spending more and more time at Felix's. It's nice to have a place to crash in every now and then, the sex is great and when you get hungry after, you don't have to think twice about scouring the fridge.

You don't know why you put off spending time aside from sleeping together at all, more time spent didn't necessarily add to your deal or subtract from it....because the action itself doesn't really mean anything. Everyone gets tired of being alone at some point. That's a universal fact.

Initially, you told yourself your presence was a consequence of Chan catching you two in the shower one night...so now that the cat's out of the bag, you two figured his place could become the only premise you didn't have to play pretend in. You both knew the elder would be more than willing to keep the younger's secret even if he didn't exactly approve of it.

With the increased frequency of your visits, bits and pieces of you remain dispersed all throughout the apartment, your body wash in his bathroom, your underwear in his laundry, the smell of you in his sheets, on his clothes. You had relaxed yourself through the periphery of his life and he had small glimpses of yours, habits and flaws, unknowingly...or knowingly....whatever. — Felix could only thank God that Chan had found out, in spite of the revelation itself putting you both in a compromising position.

With time, he starts to keep a few secrets from you too, here and there, knowing that if you knew you will stop doing it altogether. He can't have that...

You throw a leg around his hip when you're fast asleep, flinging an arm not a second later to cage him in your warm embrace. Felix likes the way your chest rises and falls against his back, how your breath tickles his skin and your mouth parts against his shoulder blade. Sometimes he stays awake and waits for you to do it, then when you do, he grins so hard his face hurts a little. Felix likes being the little spoon.

"Are you listening?"

His vision narrows down to the sight of you holding out your palms in the air, there's wet clay on them, as well on your cheek and legs, between them your pottery wheel is halted to desuetude, there's old newspapers layering the floorboard to prevent staining.

"Sorry...," he smiles sheepishly, "What did you say?"

It's your turn to shift your gaze to your feet. Felix thinks it's highly uncharacteristic, the way you seem almost...shy?

"Can you..." You eye the mug mounted on his study desk, he catches onto your request easily, "I'm thirsty—"

"Yeah yeah hold on... careful," Felix chirps, carefully guiding the rim to your lips to make sure it doesn't spill. He uses the tip of his thumb to wipe the corner of your mouth, you flinch first but then whilst the mild shock subsides, simply stare up at him as the pad of his thumb brushes against your skin. "There you go..." he trails, eyes bright with care.

You feel like a child being doted on, the mere emotion plunging you back to when you were 5 and had crushes on boys who shared skittles with you.

"Thanks."

Felix's ears perk up at the courtesy, you were never one to express yourself easily and when you did, every time, he felt inexplicably delighted.

The apples of your cheeks feel hot for some reason, by putting yourselves in in these small situations, you keep confusing him, you know, because you keep confusing yourself too.

You come out again that night but this time Bang Chan is shifting around in the kitchen. He hardly sleeps, you observe, but probably refusing to come out because he wanted to avoid bumping into you.

Chan doesn't seem to like you very much. Probably. You don't blame him. Before you came along, Felix and he spent more time together, now you had become a constant in his life without will.

You have to listen twice to realise he's speaking with you. Not an invisible being behind you.

"What?"

"I said..." His tone dropped dangerously low, he looks annoyed at something. "Listen I don't care what you're doing but don't hurt him." He's wearing a black t shirt and a pair of pajama shorts with cartoon wolves littered all across the baby blue fabric. He's trying to appear intimidating. It's not really working.

You stifle a laugh.

Frankly had you not known how deeply he cared for Felix, you'd not have cared about his advice. Or warning....?

"Fine," you respond, watching as the tension visibly left his body with one bating breath. "I hope this isn't about me stealing your yoghurt though."

"It's a little about stealing my yoghurt," he jokes, you think he's one of those people who'd apologise if you punched them in the face and spat in their drink. It's interesting...

Chan laughs a little. His eyes sparking with amusement for the first time of all the times he's looked at you. Did he trust your word that much?

—

"He talks about you a lot you know,"

You nearly spit out your drink. Seungmin isn't exactly the densest guy you know. Far from it exactly and he isn't discreet either. So your first instinct is to think he knows something.

You watch Felix from a distance, a solo cup in hand, he's laughing at something Hyunjin said, there's a crinkle along the bridge of his nose and his upper lip curls upwards to reveal his teeth. In reality, in everyone's eyes, your lives are separate. They walk on eggshells around you still...you assure yourself there's no way anyone could've guessed.

So you play dumb, glugging the whiskey into your cup. It spills around the edges, landing on the semi-lit neon counter.

"Who?"

Seungmin blinks at you. An unreadable expression on his face.

"Jisung." He says, "Who else?"

You feel yourself getting less excited, the breath you were unconsciously holding passing your entire form. Jisung is the newest addition to your life, a performing arts student who offered to portrait model for a project you'd been given in class. He's cute, forward, which you like a lot. And you notice whilst using him for inspiration, that he looks at you just as attentively as you had at him.

Only for different reasons.

Jisung asks for your number. You say yes. Half-heartedly. Though at the forefront of your mind you keep comparing everyone to the guy you go home to ever so often, you pick out their flaws and their perfections and you think to yourself he isn't like this, he is like this.

"Yeah?" You pose, sipping and wincing. "What did he say?"

"Just the usual stuff...." Seungmin tilts his head, he's not drinking tonight because he has an exam tomorrow. You think it's a little funny that he's carrying around water in a solo cup. "But I can tell he has the hots for you,"

You laugh this time. That's no surprise to you. "Well he's not so bad himself."

Seungmin narrows his eyes, shooting you a suspicious look.

"Of course you'd say that...." He taunts, "Heard you guys hung out...how was that by the way?"

"It was alright. Sort of just...happened. We bumped into each other and he offered to buy me dinner."

"And you...said yes?"

You give him a blank look, sarcasm dripping from your monotonous sentences, how else would you have spent time together?

"No, I didn't, Seungmin,"

The owner of the name rolls his eyes at your satirical comment, "No need to be mean, I'm just a little surprised is all."

"Surprised?"

You raise an eyebrow, Felix is still in your line of sight, it looks like he's stalling, waiting for your conversation to end so you could leave. He glances at you a few times and you quickly text him a 5 more minutes. "Why's that?"

"Cause every time you start to have feelings for someone, you take one step forward and ten steps back," he points out, "Think about it...you haven't been in like an....actual relationship after...well, you know," he postulates.

You glare at Seungmin, your pride somewhat injured.

"Hey! I've....dated."

"No....you slept around with people, that's not the same as dating." He retorts.

You snort.

Wouldn't you know.

Minho changes an upbeat pop song to something mellow. It's in a foreign language...maybe Spanish, you understand nothing but you don't have to to know it's a sad tune, the lyrics coming together in a melancholic harmony. Your eyes drift away, you feel your attention falter.

It was not unknown for you to have absolute control over your life, be it living your days by strict routine or building such a sturdy pretentious armour around yourself so that your organic self remained unscathed underneath. You had learnt the hard way that being yourself in front of other people would only bring you hurt...but if no one really knew you, no one could hurt you.

This game of hide and seek had become such a long standing practise in your life that it disconnected who you are from who you pretended to be. And every time the extent of your actual desires, monsters much beyond your control rose to the surface, they brought you shame, disgust.

You found those pretences withering away, the shell of protection around you falling apart whenever the thought of Felix crossed your mind. — his heavy noise of content against your neck, his fingers curling into your sheets, his open mouthed kiss against the arch of your hipbone, everything and anything...you had again, despite all your abrasions, become madly consumed by him.

And you must admit to yourself that you are becoming quite ridiculous because of it.

In this strange moment, you realise you almost need Felix to harp on about you even though you specifically asked him to keep all that you have a secret. You want his friends to come scurrying to you to start telling you that he cares so much he can't keep his mouth shut, to be so enamoured with you that his innermost feelings become painfully apparent, that it's utterly stupid of you to not see how he feels about you.

That's not how it goes though. Stuff like that only happens in movies.

Felix responds, texting, "Take all the time you need." Surprised, you steal a glimpse of him, but only when Seungmin isn't looking. You didn't know what you expected, something more crude, that would give away that he was jumping on the balls of his feet to only get into your pants, that would remind you that Felix is nothing but your fuck buddy. You find that you always look for reasons to resent him....because if you did, it meant that you didn't have to acknowledge how you're still in love with him.

You knew what you were in for. And hoping, wanting something more....is no more than wishful thinking.

Felix smiles at you, a genial smile, a simple curve along the corner of his lips which conveys patience, but also something deeper, like...understanding.

Again no matter how much you pushed him away he seemed to find his way back to you in some fashion, just to convey that your union is not all as black and white as you told yourself it was.

You down the entire drink in one swig. Seungmin makes a face at you, the kind he makes when you stick your fries in ice cream for shits and giggles,

"Well....we broke up a long time ago," You hiss at the awful taste stinging your throat, sounding slightly angry. You can't believe it matters still, but when you've been clutching onto something for too long, be it a painful emotion or a memory...you start to think it's the locus of your life, an integral part of you. It terrifies you to think who you'd become without it — vulnerable, malleable, sensitive.

You can't do that again.

The last few weeks, regardless of how good they were, didn't change a thing.

It couldn't. You wouldn't let it.

Seungmin is right, you think, you are taking ten steps back. Just not in the context he thought.

"There's no reason I shouldn't start now."

—

Turns out there is a reason.

Jisung asks you out the next day. He's so friendly that you feel overwhelmed. At all times of the day, he dresses like a frat boy out on his morning jog. A nike running shirt and loose fitted trousers, a baseball cap worn the other way around...it's a little silly.

You don't mind it, having the kind of apathy you would have towards someone you don't know very well.

Everything with him feels new, awkward. But also slightly exciting. He talks too much when he's nervous and you notice that he's almost always nervous because of your personality, as though he can't really put a finger on you and doesn't know what to do about it. Besides...he’s not a horrible kisser either, you muse, he just doesn’t know what you want.

Yet whenever you heard yourself thinking those compliments, you couldn't help but feel utterly guilty, a strangely deep seated feeling that you were doing something wrong.

Why did you feel this way....

Felix isn't your boyfriend anymore. You don't owe him any form of loyalty. You knew that. You're someone who sticks to their gut feelings and your gut had decided that something about seeing Jisung didn't feel right and not just because of Felix, but because you're not interested in a relationship just yet. And you're sure he could tell you aren't, he shouldn't quite expect a call back anytime soon.

"I had a nice time," you say, because it's true. He took you out for ice cream and bought you candy floss when you stared at it for too long.

When Jisung doesn't respond for a hot minute, you follow his trail of vision, which instead of focusing on you, has shifted to the semi-lit backdrop of your apartment. He's too obvious.

"Do...you want to come in?"

He flounders a little at your suggestion, embarrassed. "Would that be alright?....if I did...."

"That depends, are you gonna kill me?"

You say with a straight face. No matter much Jisung prodded at your exterior, you wouldn't budge, like you usually hadn't. Unravelling isn't really your thing so....he can't tell if you're kidding or not.

"No...?"

You snort, "Why do you sound so unsure?"

Jisung's face has grown impossibly red, he could feel his ears burning in indescribable shame. You just have this air about you that makes you incredibly hard to read and it's really attractive.

"I....I didn't..."

You keep your voice, steady, calm, "Relax," "I'm just screwing with you," you say, stepping aside for him to enter, "Make yourself at home."

—

You suppose you were born to study the arts.

You never could consider yourself a studious being. When you were in school, you remember falling behind in classes where the arduous process of revising was required, say mathematics or the sciences even.

Though that realisation hadn't come to you naturally.

Your parents wouldn't take kindly to you not taking up a "well paying" profession and you fell victim to the constant barrage of criticisms, of mockery which ultimately conditioned you to think some part of you, a large part just wasn't good enough.

And with Felix gone....

You were at your worst.

The two years you spent without him were the hardest, a set of years that obliged you to protect yourself from all the hurt around you, inside you. And while the security that you provided yourself is undoubtedly necessary for well...anyone, the process itself had its wicked way of rendering you unspeakably lonely.

You agreed to apply as an engineering major to gain your parents' approval and then transferred to the arts department by the time you'd successfully moved out. You haven't spoken to them ever since...and it hurt you more than you would deign to admit.

When your mum drops over for a surprise visit and chances upon your ex-boyfriend loitering about in your kitchen, fixing up midnight munchies, she takes a natural guess that you've gotten back together. (Which you think is far more agreeable than the truth. Knowing your mother, a staunch supporter of your relationship with him, she wouldn't take lightly to your arrangement.) And before you know it, you're all having dinner.

Felix makes an effort to dress up well, discarding his usual hoodies and joggers for a more formal look, you suspect it has something to do with the fact that you haven't attended any casual settings with him since you broke up.

Cutlery clinks against ceramic, coming down with a semi-loud thump as you try to swallow the enormous lump in your throat. Your mum makes a passing jab at you, saying how you had settled for a much "easier" major than say architecture or philosophy, she bitterly mentioned that everything worked out in the end. After all, your choice is a "much fitting" field of study for someone of your caliber, backhandedly insinuating that you're far too stupid to pursue anything else.

What inspires hilarity is how those insults still affected you. In front of Felix, you act like these few years have brought the fighter out in you and here you are trying to blink away the onslaught of tears prickling your vision. It feels like someone stripped you off your skin, off your flesh and picked out all your shortcomings for him to see.

You expect him to stay quiet, you expect him to think of you as the utterly shameful, selfish being you tell yourself you are,

But Felix's fingers find your shaky knuckles under the table where they rest on your knee, he implants the weight of them in a reassuring squeeze. "Well I think it's great," he says instead, smiling cheerfully at your mum. To which she, for the lack of support, sheepishly beams at him, "Not many people have the drive to do what they want to do. Or know what they want to do...take it from me, Missus [.....]" He laughs nonchalantly, the hairs on the back of your neck standing to attention upon hearing the lovely sound. You always liked his laugh, the sound rippling against your naked skin, thick baritone when he'd just woken up and a kiddish falsetto when he's extremely happy.

You wonder when you started paying so much attention.

Felix glances at you, lingering for a long minute."I bet it took a lot of guts."

You feel your chest constrict with a sudden surge of emotion from the mere look, you can't remember if the Felix you knew in the past, or anyone for that matter, had ever beamed at you with such pride.

You wonder what he'd think if he knew about Jisung, why you had neglected to tell him at all....you knew, because this little moment is precious to you and you had no reason to tarnish it. Not when you had time.

You tilt your head, using your free hand to hastily find the back of his neck, drawing closer to him with little strength. The more he realised what you're doing, the more excited he got. See he found your newly introduced public display of affection immensely attractive, though obviously embarassed by the sudden motion...

You can do crazy things sometimes. Really crazy things. In public and he has never opposed to such exhilarating things, be it in restrooms or even in a similar setting when you were dating, there was a certain thrill to it which drove him to the brink of insanity. Felix would silently implode your attention when you were alone and when you were out in the open, in whichever way he was to receive it, the way which insinuated you were his was the best of them all. All that was fine though...because it was just the two of you.

But now...in this indecent time, he wishes he could hear what you're thinking.

Had... had you gone completely mad?! Your mum is looking!

Your face is stoic, Felix's mouth parts, then you reach over and kiss him shamelessly.

Over the years, all the things that have caused you pain were things you had endured on your own, in his absence. This realisation alone invites a heavy conviction inside you.

Because you know it just as well as he does, no matter how sincere he is to you — you don't need Felix. Not really.

But you want him.

—

You do a stupid thing. A stupid endearing thing and Felix's heart beats like it would jump out of his mouth if he opened it.

It was meant to be a secret, what you two have, a matter of uncomplicated lust which didn't require the attention of anyone because it initially or so you put it, wasn't important enough.

Then you charge to him, he supposes it has a little to do with the person who was blatantly flirting him in the middle of Changbin's Halloween party, he doesn't care though.

You don't like embarrassing yourself, so he doesn't actually expect you to wear a black cat hairband matching his white ears and feline tail. Felix wants to think it means something, how despite the coos and the caas, the giant wave of surprise washing over your friends, you interlace your fingers within his and kiss his cheek.

He doesn't what that makes the two of you now... but he would give you all the time in the world to figure that out if it meant you could be his again.

—

You trace your fingers against outline of his face. Splatters of moist moonlight kissing the high rise of his cheeks, dusting along the long fringe of lashes which cast shadows along his skin, his freckles are like dots of bronze dispersed on his skin. He's beautiful like this.

"You're thinking too much," he says with his eyes closed, smiling a little. "Don't think so much."

You laugh. "Or what, huh?"

Felix cracks an eye open, his grin big, kiddish. "I was hoping you'd say that," he rubs the tip of his nose against your collarbone, he snuggles closer to your chest. What you hadn't expected was how he shifted his entire weight onto you, lying entirely atop you as though he were a starfish.

You couldn't stop laughing at the motion, it's so cheesy and gross...you love it.

—

Here's something you don't know — Jisung tells his friends everything, about making out with you and taking you out...everything. News travels fast. Faster than you anticipated. Despite wanting to divulge the matter, you were too taken by the recent shifts in your feelings to confess to your little interaction. You had told yourself again and again — a little later, just a little later and I’ll tell him.

It could be too late now.

The entire campus knew of your little rendezvous, shooting you curious looks... it's not until Minho comes up to verify the floating rumours do you all but sprint to Felix's place. You think of Chan's trusting eyes, of don't hurt him, of laughing in the intimacy of your bedroom and swiping your fingers down his spine like you were trying to commit the undulating design to memory.

You're not sure where it all began.

but you don't want it to end.

Felix doesn't answer your calls or your messages. When he buzzes you up, just from his gait, just from the resigned look in his eyes, you know he knows.

You watch as he listlessly leaves you to enter, walking before you without saying as much as a word.

You grab Felix’s elbow, making him stop in his tracks. He looks at your fingers wrapping around the muscle, shrugging you off easily. It’s just a small gesture but its impact is so large...that you feel your heart break into a million pieces.

You had never seen Felix being so quiet, even when he was down, he found a manner to radiate a form of optimistic energy which baffled you. You can’t believe how much you could have possibly hurt him.

“I can explain.” you gulp, “We went out on one date. It wasn’t because I liked him, I know it’s stupid and...I should’ve told you. I’m sorry, that's not an excuse, but you have to trust me when I say it didn’t...it doesn’t mean anything to me—”

“Did you sleep with him?”

With his back turned away, he still isn’t looking at you, speaking to you with a surprisingly stable tone.

“No.”

Felix takes a shuddering breath, one which expresses the small relief of knowing that Jisung hadn’t seen, touched you, felt you in the way that he only had, but there’s still so much more he wants to know.

“Did he make you laugh?”

It’s a silly question, he realises belatedly but he can’t help it. Some part of him, a large part, thinks he’d be more hurt if you made someone happy and they made you happy than if you fucked them.

You shake your head even though he can’t see you. “He didn’t.”

Your fingers again reach for his, wrapping your index into his thumb. You slowly move your hands to his middle, clutching him close to your chest, chin hooking into his shoulder, suddenly...you feel him melt into the embrace. Felix’s voice falters for the first time, small trembles against you. You’re willing to answer all his queries if it could put his mind at ease. You put your heart on hold for too long.

"Do you hate me...?" He sniffles.

You blink....did you?

Felix had changed, like you, he had matured, the past version of him you had so stubbornly ingrained in your endless inner monologue is not the one you grew all too familiar with...

Familiarity does breed contempt, does it not? Well you think the line between love and contempt is untraceable, melded together as a mysterious whole. After all those years, you were still angry, still filled to the brim with contempt for him and more importantly, yourself because you still love him much more than you'd like to admit. After all you've been through. After all this time. The need to love him ultimately encompassed every other emotion which posed itself as a hindrance.

So the opposite of love, the absence of love, you think, isn't hate, it's indifference. An emotion you never felt towards him.

Felix has wedged himself into every aspect of your life, tainted every portion of your routine in his presence and in his absence.

You don't think you'd have it another way.

"You broke my heart," you explain, "I was angry....but I could never hate you for the sake of hating you."

"I can't..." Felix whispers, twisting his body so he could look at you now, “I can’t promise you that it won’t be hard but I'm not—I’m not going anywhere...you know that right?”

You lean your forehead against his, his eyes shifting to your mouth, hands rising to wrap around your neck. You smile.

“I know.” you say, "Me neither."

“I love you...” He says in a small voice, putting his hand against your knuckles. “Do you love me?”

Your eyes soften, cupping his face like this — carefully collecting a lone tear with your thumb before it could touch his cheek. This time there is not a shred of hesitancy, no pause, no pondering before you say,

“I never stopped.”

—

You enter in a blind rush of panic, thinking you might miss your ride, feet knocking together, elbows hitting elbows, bustling all around you and the sudden overwhelming stench of people hit you, it’s not an ideal setting, not at all actually.

But you couldn’t bother to be displeased a second you spent with him. A teenager rolls her eyes at how disgustingly in love you are, elderly couples tutting under their breath...albeit, you don’t fail to notice their subtle smiles, small shake of their heads which attested to the fact that the joy you both radiate is.. absolutely infectious. You stumble with him behind, Felix is laughing breathlessly, bumping into your chest as the train suddenly starts moving, you place a finger on his cheek and he raises his chin to look at you.

“Did you eat?” he repeats, mocking himself, a dialogue from a time which seems an element of the distant past replaced by a love which compensated for every hitch in your relationship. You still argue, still disagree and still make up the same. Felix was right, it isn’t easy.

But when two people love each other as much as you do,

it’s worth trying. With every fibre of your being.

“No.” You laugh, playing along, “But I could, with you.”

795 notes · View notes

svnflowervol666 · 4 years

Note

hey! can you write one where harry invites y/n and his band mates out for drinks and they try to hand her a drink but she reveals she previously by saying like “you can’t drink when your pregnant” ...

Word Count: 2.3k

A/N: I combined this one with a request for where Harry constantly refers to Y/N as his “ex-girlfriend,” because they’re engaged now. ((Super cute. Super corny. Makes my heart mush. Anyway.)) Kinda short but still sweet. I hope you enjoy it nonetheless! Take care and TPWK.

“There she is!”

His voice is drowned out by clanking glasses and the heavy bass of whatever rock song was playing through the shitty speakers in the corner of the room, but it was unmistakable nonetheless. Followed by his “greeting” were the shouts and howls of the rest of the bunch, most of them raising their glass in honor of her (late) arrival.

“My ex-girlfriend!”

Harry, despite his inebriated state, smiled widely and welcomed her as protectively as he always had in the past few weeks - relieving her person of any bags or extra weight, this time being her coat and purse which he hung on the brass hooks underneath the bar table, and inspecting her facial expression for any signs of discontent or worry. He couldn’t pinpoint the exact moment when he kicked his “dad-mode,” tendencies into overdrive, but it certainly began on that rainy, Thursday night in their shared bathroom as they sat against the wall of the bathtub with four positive pregnancy tests in both of their hands.

“Really wish you’d stop calling me that, Har,” she sneered as he helped her shake her arms loose from her coat.

“One of these days you’re gonna cause a scene.”

“'S true, though,” the drunken boy giggled.

“You’re not m’ girlfriend anymore. You’re my fiance.”

She shook her head and rolled her eyes at his antics, intending to pull him in for a quick hug and kiss when her attention was drawn away from her curly-headed brunette and towards the man of the hour.

“Y/N!”

“Hello, birthday boy,” her voice was mellow against the drunken slur that had started to take over her friend, Mitch’s.

“‘S not very nice of you to be late to my party,” he slurred as he pulled her in rather harshly for a bone-crushing hug.

“Sorry, got caught up with some work stuff,” Y/N managed to get out through a chuckle in between Mitch’s squeezing.

She saw Harry stiffen out of the corner of her eye, like he was torn between yelling something akin to, “Take it easy on her, mate. She’s pregnant for christ’s sake,” or letting the interaction play out. He knew he wasn’t allowed to do the former, as they’d agreed to wait until they could have all of their friends and family over at the same time to tell them the good great news, so Harry opted to let Mitch hug her extra tight despite his unrealistic, dramatic worries that he’d crush her fragile frame or hurt the baby in some way. She made sure to send a reassuring smile Harry’s way when Mitch let her go from his grasp.

Short and sweet was her greeting to Sarah, both of them opting to kiss one another on the cheek.

“Let me see it one more time,” her voice was quiet amongst the chatter of the bar, almost sounding like a whisper.

Y/N felt the heat climbing to her cheeks as she let Sarah take her hand in hers to examine the ring on her fourth finger. The band was gold and slim, adorned with a dainty yet sizeable single diamond in the very center.

“So pretty,” she gushed, admiring the way the gem flittered, even in the dim, tungsten-glow of the bar.

Y/N muttered a quiet “thank you,” before making her away back to the other side of the table where Harry was waiting for her with an outstretched arm, yearning to get back to what they had been doing before Y/N had to make her rounds.

As he wrapped his arms around her shoulders, Y/N caught wind of the tequila on his breath. She tasted it too, when she pecked his lips quickly and - oh god, did she taste stout as well? Maybe she’d end up taking care of him later tonight when his head was stuck in the toilet, but that seemed plenty fair considering how often Harry had been doing the same exact thing for her here lately.

“Yeh alright? Had me all worried when ya said you’d be late,” Harry’s question was asked lowly so that only she could hear.

Harry had been with Mitch and Sarah all day celebrating, hence this was the first time he’d seen Y/N since this morning when he kissed her and sent her off to work.

Y/N nodded and smiled, though her face led Harry to believe differently.

“Got sick when I got home from the office. Just took me a little bit longer to get out the door,” she shrugged, insinuating that it wasn’t a big deal, but that she wasn’t feeling one hundred percent ready-to-party either.

“Baby,” Harry half-scolded her, feeling a good portion of his buzz leave his body when Y/N mentioned that she hadn’t felt well.

“Why didn’t yeh just tell me you were sick? Coulda came home and sat with you.”

“I wasn’t going to ask you to ditch your best friend’s birthday dinner just because I was throwing up for the fifteenth time this week,” she was stern in her words and made it clear that she was fine.

“I’m alright. I promise.”

Harry’s jaw softened at her proclamation, the muscles in his torso easing up from their tense position.

“Oi! Will you two stop whispering and get drunk with me?!” Mitch shouted across the table, bursting the bubble that had temporarily surrounded the couple whilst they talked about their sweet little secret that they were dying to tell everyone about.

“You,” Mitch pointed his finger towards Y/N’s head.

“Shots. Now,” he gestured to the bartender making drinks on the opposite end of where their table was.

Both Y/N and Harry chuckled nervously, unsure of how to work around the fact that Y/N couldn’t drink without spilling the beans.

“Think I need to get some food in my stomach before I do that. Why don’t you take Harry,” Y/N urged Harry forward by his shoulder and prayed it would be enough to entertain the drunk boy.

“Fine,” Mitch glared.

“It’ll just make it hard for you to catch up later then!”

He grabbed Harry by the bicep and cleared through the crowd of people in order to get his liquor he was so keen about.

The conversation with Sarah was light, mostly about what all they’d done today and bets on if Mitch would end up needing to be babied for the rest of the night. Y/N successfully dodged Sarah’s questions about the wedding and how planning was going along, chalking it up to busy work schedules and failing to come to an agreement on a venue and date.

“Harry’s dead set on a summer wedding, but I’m fighting for a winter date,” she dismissed through a nervous chuckle when the reality was that they were unsure how to navigate planning a wedding around the arrival of their baby to make any more decisions.

It seemed like ages passed before the two men returned. Y/N was picking at the fries and sipping on the ginger ale Harry had ordered her before she’d gotten there but was interrupted when Harry and Mitch came barrelling back to the table.

He was drunk. Quite drunk. And Y/N knew that because his body felt even warmer and his eyes looked even hazier than before he’d left. She imagined they definitely had more than once shot at the bar, but she didn’t have much time to ponder that before she felt his hands snake around her waist and rest on her hips. She reciprocated his touch, looping her arms around his shoulders and laying her head against his chest.

“Love you,” Harry muttered into the soft spot between her jaw and ear, then his hands wormed their way under her shirt to rest on the underside of her tummy.

“Love you too,” he said again.

She could feel him smile against her skin as he cradled her almost non-existent baby bump from underneath her oversized sweater. Harry was the only one who saw her regularly enough to notice the minute changes her body had been going through. To everyone else, she still looked like plain, old Y/N.

“We love you more, but if you don’t stop canoodling me in the middle of this bar,” Y/N began, speaking light-heartedly and quietly in his ear, “Everyone’s going to find out and you won’t get to have that announcement party you’ve been planning for weeks now.”

Harry sighed, knowing she was right, and loosened his hold on her tummy and opting to sling an arm over her shoulder to at least keep her close instead.

“I know what you’re up to,” Mitch glared at the two of them from across the table.

This gained the attention of not only Y/N and Harry but Sarah as well. Everyone turned to look at Mitch, anticipating what he was going to say next.

“And what would that be, Mitchy?” Y/N toyed.

A pout formed on his face, arms quickly crossed his chest as he huffed.

“You’re trying to get out of here and leave me all alone on my birthday.”

“Guess I’m not even here then. I’m a hallucination,” Sarah baited with a roll of her eyes.

“We’re not trying t’ leave ya, mate. Promise,” Harry stuck his pinky out across the table as a gesture of sincerity.

“Are too.”

Mitch’s drunken rambles were beginning to sound quite childish now and became more amusing by the second.

“Are not, honey bun,” Y/N requited.

“Liars. Both of you.”

Mitch launched a bunched up straw wrapper in Harry’s direction that bounced off of his most prominent curl and landed somewhere near his feet.

“Where would we even go, hmm?” Harry taunted, resting his chin on the knuckles of his free hand that was leaned against the table.

“What could we possibly planned tha’ would be better than spending time with you lot on your birthday?”

They watched as Mitch’s remaining sobriety fought hard for an answer, but ultimately giving into his drunkness and murmuring, “Don’t know! Probably going off to screw each other or something!”

The table burst into laughter, and Y/N hid her face in Harry’s chest out of embarrassment.

“Wouldn’t surprise me actually,” Sarah quipped before taking a huge sip of her cocktail.

“Look. Here’s the deal,” Mitch tried his best in his drunken stupor to be serious.

“Prove to me that you’re not gonna leave me and take another shot.”

“Fine,” Harry shrugged.

“Let’s go back t’ the bar then.”

He started to pull Mitch along but was stopped suddenly.

“No,” Mitch was quick to intervene.

“Y/N too. If you both drink, you can’t drive home and leave me,” he said proudly as if his idea was the smartest thing he’d ever come up with.

She knew it was only Mitch being sloppy drunk and acting like the idiot he always was, but Y/N couldn’t help but feel her palms begin to sweat. They couldn’t tell Mitch the real reason why she couldn’t drink with the group tonight, so she was quickly wracking her brain for another excuse now that she’d filled her belly with french fries since giving her last one.

But there was no need to think any further, as Harry stepped in for her.

“She can’t do tha’, mate. Now, c’mon. Let’s get some more tequila. Looks like Sarah needs another drink as well, hmm?”

Harry pinched his nose in annoyance. He was trying his hardest to keep this all under wraps, but Mitch was making it extremely difficult.

“Who are you? Her keeper? Telling her what she can and can’t do?” Mitch yelled.

“No, you nunce. She can’t drink because yeh can’t drink when you’re pregn-”

Fuck.

Harry clapped his hand over his mouth before he finished his sentence, but it was too late. He wasn’t sure what he was thinking when he said it. Wasn’t even sure if he was thinking at all, to be completely honest. He silently prayed that neither Mitch nor Sarah heard him, but he quickly realized that was untrue when they both stared between him and Y/N with wide eyes.

“Y/N L/N. Are you pregnant?” Sarah was the first to speak up.

Y/N felt like she was stuck in place, only able to look at Harry with a racing chest and her mouth agape.

“I, um, I - yes?” It came out as more of a question due to her state of shock.

“I’m so fuckin’ sorry. Holy shit,” Harry exclaimed as he went back to Y/N’s side to console her.

He was spiraling in fear that Y/N was angry with him, but it was mostly the alcohol making him think so.

“You’re having a baby?” Mitch’s voice was unusually quiet for how loudly he had been yelling just moments ago.

“Yeah. We are,” she was laughing nervously as she spoke.

“Sorry that Harry ruined the surprise. We wanted to have a big party and tell everyone at the same time, but I guess the cat’s out of the bag for you guys.”

She rubbed Harry’s back with her palm, a silent reassurance for Harry that she wasn’t upset with him. Mitch and Sarah, however, they couldn’t read.

Mitch said nothing, only leaving his position beside Sarah to go stand in between Y/N and Harry. He looked at them both with an expression that resembled both anger and confusion, which only added to their discomfort.

In a split second, he had his arms around both of them, hugging them tightly.

“Holy shit! This is the best birthday present ever. Uncle Mitch and Aunt Sarah. What the fuck?!” he was rambling now, beaming from ear to ear as he ran over to pull Sarah, who was also losing her shit, just in her own seat and not on top of Harry and Y/N, into the group hug.

Their eyes caught each other in the midst of the friend-sandwich they were being forced to be a part of. A smile and knowing look were exchanged between them and they knew, despite it not coming out in the most fashionable way, their precious little bub would be surrounded by people that loved them dearly.

#harry styles x reader #harry styles imagines #harry styles fluff #harry styles one shot #harry styles blurb #dad!harry #dad!harry x reader #harry styles x pregnant!reader #asks

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carry-the-sky · 3 years

Note

Kastle + 2 for the touch writing prompts 💕

based on the prompt: a touch with relief

also on ao3

shout out to @onebatch2batch and @ninzied 💕

She’s late.

Frank’s eyes dart to his phone. Screen’s dark, same as it was when he glanced at it a minute ago. No missed calls, no texts. He swigs his coffee, more to swallow down the muted panic in his throat than anything else.

“Fresh cup for your friend, honey?”

Frank looks up. The waitress—Jo, her name tag reads—is nodding at the mug of coffee he ordered for Karen when he got here.

His eyes linger on it a moment before he shakes his head. “I’m good, ma’am. She’s, uh—she’s on her way.”

Frank must look as keyed-up as he feels, because Jo offers him a gentle smile. “You got it,” she says. “Just holler when she gets here, okay?”

Then she’s walking off. Probably assumes he got stood up by a date, and hell—he almost wishes that’s what this was. At least he could shrug that off, carry on with his day instead of sitting across from an empty booth, chest slowly going tight with dread.

Frank pushes back from the table, forces himself to breathe. Maybe something came up at work—a deadline got pushed up or a source backed out last-minute and Ellison’s got her holed up at the office doing damage control—

His hand twitches for his phone. They’ve been meeting for lunch pretty regularly for the past month or so, but Karen always shoots him a text the day before to confirm. He scans her last message in their thread—Tomorrow still good? Same place as last week?—and something in his chest twinges. Maybe it’s an occupational hazard, or maybe it’s just her way of making sure he won’t bail—either way, Frank can’t blame her. He’s far from atoning for the way he left things that day at the hospital. It’s a small miracle she let him back into her life at all.

Frank’s eyes flick to the time at the top of the screen. It’s going on twenty past the hour. Hell with it—maybe he’s being paranoid, but his gut says something’s off. He hits the call button next to her name.

It goes straight to voicemail.

His pulse stutters. It doesn’t mean anything, it doesn’t mean—

He tries her again.

Hi, you’ve reached Karen Page. Please leave your name and number and I’ll get back—

Shit. Frank swipes over to his contacts, scrolls until he finds the number for the Bulletin’s front desk.

“New York Bulletin,” a cheerful voice answers on the second ring. “How may I direct your call?”

“Is Karen Page in?” he asks, straining to keep his voice steady.

He knows what the answer will be, but it still lands like a gut-punch when the receptionist tells him that Ms. Page is currently out of the office. His hand is shaking when he hangs up.

Jo is making the rounds again, and Frank doesn’t miss the sympathetic glance she shoots in his direction. He takes a deep breath through his nose, slow and steady to counter the hammer of his heart. He needs to focus, think.

Hanging around her office is a non-starter—he’s let his beard grow out, but his face has been plastered across the front page enough times that the damn receptionist would probably recognize him now. He could try Karen’s place on the off chance she ran home—

Frank’s fingers twitch against his phone. He should get up, move, do something other than sit here with this familiar tension cranking up his sternum. One thought spins on a turntable in his head—something’s wrong. Something’s wrong. He let his guard down, let himself breathe for one goddamn second, and now—if something happened to her—

The world narrows, tilts like a kaleidoscope. He needs air.

He’s dimly aware of standing, tossing a few bills on the table before he’s out the door. The street is thick with noise—people laying on their horns, distant sirens, someone shouting. He focuses on each individual sound, anchors his breath to the steady thrum of the city around him.

He’s not sure how long he stands there—a few minutes, maybe. Long enough for his vision to stop swimming, for the pounding in his ears to subside. Long enough to register his phone, buzzing in his hand.

Her number’s flashing across the screen.

Frank fumbles to answer, almost dropping his phone in the process. “Karen, hey—”

“Frank,” she replies, and relief floods his veins at the sound of her voice. “I’m so sorry—my phone decided to automatically update right as I was leaving for lunch, and then when you didn’t show—I was getting worried.”

He frowns, trying to process her words. “Where—where are you?”

“Sal’s. Why, didn’t you—” she pauses. “Wait, did you go to Cinco’s?”

Frank turns her text from last night over in his head. Same place as last week. They definitely grabbed lunch at Cinco’s—he’d ordered extra steak fries with his burger, just to let her swipe a few from his plate—but, shit, that’s right—they’d swung by a new place afterwards for dessert, some local café that had just opened.

We should try this place for lunch sometime, Karen had said in between bites of her raspberry scone. Frank remembers the dusting of sugar across her upper lip, remembers the small heart attack it gave him when she’d licked it clean.

“Think there might’ve been a misunderstanding,” he tells her now, cheeks warm. Karen just laughs in response as it all clicks together, and Frank lets the sound wash over him, the warmth of it dissolving the tension in his chest. She’s laughing. She’s okay.

“Lesson learned,” she says. “Be more specific. And make sure the phone isn’t going to update.”

“Wouldn’t be a problem if you had one like mine.”

“Not a chance. There’s old-fashioned, and then there’s prehistoric.” There’s a beat of silence, and he knows she’s smiling on the other end of the line. “Listen, I have to head back early today, but are you free for lunch tomorrow? I owe you some fries from Cinco’s, at the very least.”

“Works for me,” Frank says. “Sure you don’t wanna write that down, just to be safe? That’s C-I-N—”

“Shut up, Frank.”

It’s his turn to grin. “Tomorrow, then.”

“Tomorrow,” she echoes.

He stays on the line until she hangs up, weightless with relief even as his blood still hums with adrenaline. It was just a miscommunication—but when his eyes squeeze shut, he’s right back in that hotel watching Lewis drag her into the elevator, praying to whoever the fuck was listening that she’d still be breathing when he got to her.

He knew, even then, what it would mean to lose her. Lose her without her ever knowing—

Make it mean something.

About damn time he did.

Karen’s waiting for him when he gets there the next day, sitting in the same booth he was. Her eyes snap to him as he pushes through the front door, and then she’s standing, and somehow before he’s fully aware it’s happening, he’s pulling her close, burying his face in the slope of her neck, breathing her in.

She’s warm. Her arms cinch around his shoulders, drawing him in even closer, and he smells something floral, soft and clean when her hair brushes his cheek. They stay like that a moment, holding onto each other—then she gently pulls back, and the loss of contact aches like a bruise. As he slides into the booth across from her, it’s all he can do to keep from reaching for her again.

Jo comes by with coffee, gives Frank a wink that could be seen from outer space as she slides Karen a mug. When he ducks a glance at Karen, she’s pressing her lips together like she’s trying not to smile.

“How long were you sitting here yesterday?” she asks.

Frank grips his own mug tightly to keep his fingers from shaking. “Not long. Felt like—longer than it was.”

He tries to keep his voice light, but he never did have a very good poker face. And they don’t do that. They don’t lie to each other.

When he looks again, Karen’s face has softened. She reaches across the table, rests a hand against his forearm. “Frank—”

He recognizes her tone of voice, knows she’s about to apologize for something that’s not her fault. After all his bullshit, everything he’s put her through—she’s still the one telling him she’s sorry. She’s still all heart. The ache in his chest digs its roots in, blooms until he can hardly breathe.

“Hey.” He tilts his head to catch her gaze, holds it. “I’m good. Yeah? Might chuck your phone in the Hudson first chance I get, but—”

He’s hoping the jab will pull a smile from her, and it almost does. Her mouth crinkles at the corners. “Still,” she says. “I didn’t mean to worry you.”

He just looks at her—eyes bright and blue and open, and shit, he’s gonna kick himself for the rest of his life for taking his sweet time telling her exactly what she means to him. He slowly turns his arm until his hand grazes her wrist, her palm, and then he’s threading his fingers through hers.

“I’m always gonna worry, Karen. I know you can handle yourself, that’s not what—” he cuts off as she gives his hand a gentle squeeze, swallows thickly before saying— “You’re the most important person in my life. You’re everything. I’m never gonna not worry.”

Now she’s smiling, mouth curved like a moon as she looks down at his hand in hers. “You mean that, Frank?”

“I’m sorry it took me so long to get off my ass about it, but—this thing, Karen, you and me—if you’re in, I’m in. I’m all in.”

He’s not sure it’s happening until it’s happening—one second Karen’s leaning across the booth, the next her lips are on his.

He barely has time to process the softness of her mouth, the warmth of her hand cupping his jaw, before she’s sitting back, looking as stunned as he feels.

“I take it back,” he says, a little hoarse. “What I said about your phone. Damn thing should update every day.”

Karen just laughs, and they both lean in again.

#kastle #kastle ff #kastlenetwork #kastle fic #my fic

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vantaenims · 3 years

Text

the lonely hearts club | jungkook

pairing: jungkook x reader

genre: college au, friends to lovers | fluff, humor, angst

word count: 17.5k

warning/s: break ups, alcohol consumption, profanity, cheating, making out, mentions of divorce.

summary: A story of how two lost humans in the cruel world of love managed to find each other in a sea full of failed relationships, heartbreaks, and drunken karaoke nights but could they truly find the love they’re looking for through each other?

✧ fic teaser ✧

masterlist

Sunday Mornings are the best time of the week for eight year old Jungkook since it’s the only time he gets to wake up to both of his parents on his side, cuddling him up like they just not told him last night and many other nights that he should sleep in his own room, considering that he’s already becoming a big boy but Sundays has become an exception for that.

That is until one morning when Jungkook woke up and found himself all alone in his parent’s king sized bed. He’s trying to outgrow being a crybaby but he can’t help how tears started to prick his eyes, feeling betrayed at their absence. Without a second thought, he threw away the comforter hastily as he jumped out of the bed and went straight out of the door with loud thudding steps as the immature boy he was.

Descending the stairs, Jungkook was ready to throw a fit as soon as he saw his mother mopping the floor of their living room but he was quite dumbfounded when his father grabbed the mop off of his mother’s hand, taking her hand instead to pull her in for a dance of cha cha along to the love song playing in the background which is The Spiral Starecase’s More Today Than Yesterday.

Jungkook wiped his tear stained cheeks as he sat down on the stairs, clutching the banisters so he could insert his face in between them and thought how his mom and dad looked like they were having a lot of fun despite how awful and silly their dancing was. Nonetheless, it made Jungkook smile, that is until his mom suddenly slipped on the still wet floor. Thankfully, his dad caught her in time, making the both of them erupt in laughter at how foolish they were being.

It was a sight to see how light hearted that moment was and that was the exact time Jungkook felt the immense warmth of his parent’s love with each other, leaving him to wish that someday he’ll find a love like his parents.

And that was how Jungkook began to develop a deep sense of faith in love.

It’s the image of his mom and dad dancing to love songs every Sunday Morning that has gotten him so smitten about the idea of love and that is how he thinks he became a hopeless romantic who believes that love makes the world go round.

But it seems like the world is treating him rather unfairly and indifferent with the way he keeps on getting involved in countless failed relationships. Love turned out far from what he expected and it can’t be helped that his faith in love is starting to dwindle down but that doesn’t necessarily mean that he gives up on the idea of it yet although he sometimes asks himself.

Is love even worth a shot at this point?

Specially, when today just happened to be the day he got dumped by Cho Hee, his girlfriend or rather his ex-girlfriend for about six months which is not too long of a time but in Jungkook’s case, it’s the longest one he got into out of his previous short-lived relationships.

Break ups shouldn’t be that big of a deal for him by now as it has become some sort of a norm to him but that doesn’t mean that he’s spared from the pain. Atleast, it’s comforting to know that there’s someone who could totally empathize with his misfortunes about love and someone who suffers through the same fate as him – you.

Jungkook met you back in sophomore year when you joined the school newspaper as the new feature writer. The both of you got the chance to be closer when you were assigned to cover the university’s 75th anniversary event along with him as the photographer and that’s how he ended up always being tied with you.

Well, event coverages aren’t the only thing that made you closer because you see, failed relationships just happened to be one of your commonalities and there’s only one place that ties down two miserable beings together.

Usually, you take a break in life and embark on a soul searching trip to compensate for your heart’s misery but that seems pretty unattainable for two college students who live off of their parent’s allowance.

It’s nothing grandiose but the place is enough for the both of you to distract your minds away from all of those heartbreaks just by singing your hearts out because apparently, karaoke nights are better when you’re broken hearted.

The familiar LED signage with a word ‘Soundcheck’ on it is what flashed brightly in front of Jungkook once the doors of the elevator opened at the third floor of the building just near the campus.

“Oh Jungkook” Hyunseok, the receptionist, whom he had gotten close to by now greeted him as soon as he stepped inside the establishment. Jungkook went on to grip his hand, pulling him to give him a pat on his shoulder, “Y/N’s already here, by the way.”

“Oh is she?” Well, that’s a first, considering that you’re always late by five or ten minutes after he arrived.

“Yeah, she ordered a bucket of beer, some food, and she also told me that you’ll be paying for it” Hyunseok chuckled.

“Okay” Jungkook smiled as he clicked his tongue against the roof of his mouth but he nonetheless took out his wallet since he’s the one who invited you here tonight, “What room?”

“Same room as always”

Jungkook nodded, waving a salute to Hyunseok as he walked along the hallway that’s surrounded by muffled sounds coming from each room but he could easily distinguish your loud off-key singing when he rounded the corner.

Twisting the knob, Jungkook took in the sight of the dimly lit room that’s only illuminated with the electric disco ball attached to the ceiling. On the other hand, you’re totally too immersed into the song that you didn’t even notice his presence as you continue to hit the notes with your eyes closed while simultaneously jumping up and down.

Jungkook went to sit down on the black leather couch, grabbing himself a plate of french fries from the table as he continue to amusedly watch you belt out the lyrics of Don’t Stop Me Now by Queen and when the bridge of the song came, you turned around and suddenly got startled to see Jungkook already there.

“Jeon Jungkook!” you shouted into the mic, drawing the last part of his name longer like you’re some type of an announcer in a boxing match and as if it isn’t comical enough, you picked up the tambourine as you shake it vigorously, “How are you feeling tonight, Jungkook-ssi?”

“Good” he said in a monotonous voice.

“Doesn’t sound like it” you said as dramatic as ever, shoving the mic again into his face “How are you feeling?”

Jungkook would ride on your silly antics on a normal day but he can’t keep up with your energy right now so he just sent you a small smile as he placed the plate back onto the table. Your question definitely threw off a bit of his composure and he bit his lip as he tried to keep his emotions at bay.

“Is it that bad?” you asked in all seriousness this time as you set aside the mic and tambourine to take a closer look at him.

Sighing, Jungkook threw back his head against the couch as he pinched the bridge of his nose, chuckling even to get a grip of himself.

“Oh no are you going to cry?” you didn’t even purposefully say it to mock him but he hates how it makes him cry everytime and maybe, he really never outgrew being a crybaby.

Awkwardly, you sat down beside him to pat his head but you stopped, thinking how you stupidly looked like you were petting a dog instead so you just moved your hands down to his shoulders.

Honestly speaking, you’re not the best person when it comes to comforting others but it’s questionable why Jungkook chose you to be his go-to person when you’re clearly bad at it.

“What happened?”

“Cho Hee broke up with me”, Jungkook wiped his tears with the sleeve of his sweatshirt as bitterness started to rise inside him, “Ah i can’t believe that i was right along when i said that this relationship felt so one sided.”

“What do you mean?”

“Do you want to know her reason?”

“What?” you asked as you scooted closer, curious to know why.

“She said that we’re not compatible because she’s a Gemini and i’m a Virgo.”

You gauge Jungkook’s expression to see if he was joking but he said it so earnestly that you had to purse your lips as you try your best to contain your laughter but you soon gave in as Jungkook met your gaze.

“I’m sorry, I’m not laughing at you, I swear”, you said in between laughs as you clutch your stomach, “but are you serious?”

“She told me that it is the reason why our relationship isn’t working”, Jungkook unlocked his phone as he read something over his screen. You can’t help but take a peek as you see that Jungkook’s reading a series of text messages from Cho Hee.

[Thursday, May 28, 8:01 AM]

Cho Hee ❤️ : Jungkook

Cho Hee❤️ : I’m breaking up with you because it looks like this relationship isn’t working and i think it’s because we’re not compatible to begin with.

Cho Hee ❤️ : A Virgo and Gemini don’t go together.

Cho Hee ❤️ : Sorry...

“Oh no, she broke up with you through text” you said, laughing even more despite Jungkook's unamused look yet he later found himself smiling along with you after he realized how it sounded more ridiculous when he said Cho Hee’s reason out loud but that still doesn’t make up for his sour mood.

“Aren’t you supposed to comfort me here?” Jungkook said, squinting his eyes at you.

“Of course but you know, you can never blame Cho Hee for being a firm astrological believer”, you bumped your shoulder against Jungkook as you calmed yourself down from your laughing frenzy.

“Well, she could’ve just told me that she didn’t love me instead of that crap”, Jungkook reached out onto the table to get himself a bottle of beer to swig on.

“I guess, it’s time to sing our go-to break up song then”, you grabbed the remote as you pressed the song numbers in while mimicking the karaoke machine’s voice.

You stood up on your feet once you heard the guitar intro of Since U Been Gone by Kelly Clarkson played whilst Jungkook didn’t move an inch besides to drink that is.

“Join me”, you passed him the other mic to which he took but he still didn’t make any move to sing or stand up.

Eventually, you went on to sing by yourself as energetic as ever, specially when the chorus part came, prompting you to jump wildly with your arms flailing, causing Jungkook to smile at how ridiculous you were being.

“The bridge part’s coming” you grabbed his hand, tugging him up to stand but Jungkook is purposefully making it hard for you to do so by making himself heavier just to tease you and test your patience and not long after, you swatted his hand away as you playfully rolled your eyes, leaving him satisfied with your reaction.

Jungkook waited for the last part of the bridge before he stood up to interrupt your moment by belting out the high note perfectly which got you startled for a second as you turned to look at him and you’re glad to see that he’s finally okay, well, at least for now.

You hit his arm for ruining your moment as you try to feign annoyance, “You’re supposed to sing it badly that’s – SINCE YOU BEEN GONE!”

Jungkook doubled in laughter as he slung his arm around your shoulder. The two of you continued to sing to your heart’s content while also jumping in unison, leaving you exhausted as you tried to catch your breath by the time the song ended.

“You good?” you said in the middle of your coughing fit from straining your throat too much as you collapsed back on the couch, turning your head sideways to look at Jungkook.

“Better”, Jungkook said as he went back on his feet, tugging you to stand along with him.

—

There are no assignments due, no presentations to prepare, and no thesis revisions needed to be done so what better way to spend the weekend than playing games for hours.

Jungkook was roughly forty five minutes into the game of League of Legends when his phone went off. Glancing at it, your name popped up onto his screen, leaving him to wonder as to why you’d call him when you’re in the middle of a dinner date with some boy you met through a dating app.

“Hello?” Jungkook said as he removed his headphones, replacing his phone to press it against his ear with the support of his shoulder.

“Oh my god, what happened to you?”

“What?” he furrowed his brows, wondering why you sound so frantic.

“You got into a car crash!? Where are you!?” you said in a higher pitch this time.

“What are you talking about?”

“Where are you?”

“Uh Grounds?” he told you the name of the PC Bang where he is currently at but still confused with whatever you’re up to.

“Okay, I'll go there” you said as you hung up just like that, leaving him hanging for the sudden odd phone call.

Nonetheless, he put back his headphones in as he went back to focus on his game, leaving the whole thing for him to think about for later since he’s still in the middle of the game. In fact, he was so focused into the game that he had failed to notice that you had already managed to arrive and sit down right next to the cubicle beside him fifteen minutes later.

Once the game ended, he reclined back to his seat as he twisted his upper body side to side which enabled him to catch a glimpse of a girl in a black puff sleeve dress next to him. The outfit clearly made her stand out from the rest but he had to do a double take once he realized that the overdressed girl right next to him is you.

“What are you doing here?”

“Watching a movie”, you pointed to your screen as he leaned towards your cubicle, catching a glimpse of a scene from the movie called Romeo + Juliet.

Jungkook rolled his eyes at your sarcasm, spinning his chair to face you, “What was that earlier? And why are you eating so much for someone who just had dinner?”

A server just laid down a tray filled with instant noodles, hotdog bun, onion fries, and a soda onto your table. Jungkook was about to get some onion fries until you slapped his hand away, glaring at him as you popped a fries into your mouth whilst you adjusted yourself in a more comfortable sitting position by removing your shoes to cross your legs.

“I’m hungry and the date was awful”, you shrugged as you continue to watch the movie.

“Didn’t you have dinner yet?”

“I did but the prick ordered for me a fucking stale salad when i originally wanted a rib eye steak and i just knew i had to get out of there when he randomly pulled up his shirt to show me the scars he got for playing football or needless to say, he just wanted to show off his oh so perfect abs”, you shaked your head, cringing once you remembered how you felt embarrassed for him when everyone in the restaurant turned their attention towards your table.

Jungkook snorted, “Maybe he just wants to impress you?”

“Yeah, well, I'm very impressed with how he managed to just talk about himself for the whole date” you rolled your eyes but you immediately got distracted when Jungkook just got served with a steaming hot cup of noodles.

“That looks delicious”, you brought in your chopsticks towards the cup noodles, eyeing it despite feeling full but your stomach says otherwise. Disappointingly, the cup of noodles was taken away out of your reach as Jungkook proceeded to slurp a mouthful of noodles, not even caring that it’s still piping hot.

“It’s hot” Jungkook repeatedly said as he made a face once he felt his tongue being burned, causing him to tear up a little as he tried not to spit it out.

You took this chance to get a hold of the cup noodles but Jungkook stopped you, widening his eyes as he shaked his head no at you, “There’s crab sticks in there”, he warned you, considering you’re allergic to shellfish.

“You’re cruel”, you laughed as you noticed that some broth managed to splatter on his chin, making you get a tissue from your bag as you wiped it for him but Jungkook was quick to grab the piece of tissue from you, muttering a thanks as he wiped his whole mouth.

Leaving the game, Jungkook went on to Netflix to search for the same movie you’re watching as he peered over your monitor to see what part of the movie you were in so he could synchronize with you.

“Ah Y/N, how long are we going to be unlucky?” Jungkook said, pertaining to your previous discussion, “Actually, I'm the unlucky one since you’re the one who always ends things.”

“How am i not unlucky? I always end up dating guys with red flags and I end things right away as soon as I notice that red flag,” you defended.

“But don’t you give them some time to confront them about it and give them a chance to improve?” Jungkook asked as his hand sneakily made way towards your onion fries, smiling to himself as he popped in the fries into his mouth.

“Trust me, I've learnt my lesson and as the old saying goes – ‘prevention is better than cure’” ,you playfully winked at him.

“How?” Jungkook looked at you as he awaited your answer but you didn’t answer, probably too annoyed at how his curiosity is comparable to a child with all of his unending questions so he just continued to watch the film that is until you spoke, quite seriously he might add.

“I wasn’t snooping or anything but I got bored one time and managed to borrow my dad’s phone to play games and a text popped out from my aunt saying, ‘what cake should i get?’ and ‘red velvet’s nice, right’, thinking it was for me since my 12th birthday was coming but my aunt got me a chocolate cake instead.”

Jungkook pushed his chair near you, eager for you to continue your story even though he doesn’t know where you’re trying to get at or if this is even related to what he just asked.

“I thought maybe the red velvet flavor ran out so I just shrugged it off and I think about a week after my birthday, I was playing on my dad’s phone again and a text from my aunt popped up again saying, ‘Thanks for the red velvet cake. Happy 2 Years Anniversary to us <3’ and that’s when i thought i wished i never knew what that red velvet cake is for.”

“Shit, what?” Jungkook widened his eyes as he bit his thumb.

“I thought the reason my dad would always bring me to my aunt’s place after school every Friday is that I could get to play with my cousins and that’s the red flag I didn’t care to notice.”

Jungkook tried to read your face to see if the memory still affects you ‘til to this day but it seems not like it. You were being nonchalant while speaking about it as if it isn’t some big of a deal although he could definitely make out your serious tone.

“How is your mom?” Jungkook asked with more caution.

You shrugged as you still remained your eyes on the screen, “Well, my mom found out about it a few months later and they eventually got a divorce.”

“I’m so sorry, Y/N”

“It’s okay. Anyway, It’s ages ago”, you smiled before your eyes light up as you pointed to the screen, “Oh, look at Romeo and Juliet’s costume. We should wear that for Sunwoo’s Halloween Party, what do you think?”

Sunwoo happens to be the Editor in Chief of the school newspaper and he announced earlier on during the board meeting that he’ll throw a Halloween party this year but that’s not what’s important right now.

It was clearly noticeable you weren’t comfortable anymore to talk further about your parents as soon as you changed the topic. Jungkook felt sorry and worried about you but he decided to just drop it off as he agreed to your halloween costume suggestion.

You might not realize this when you said that you’re okay since it was ages ago but Jungkook could easily tell that it made a big impact on you, specifically on how you handle your relationships which gave him a better grip of understanding now that you weren’t just ending things for the sake of finishing it.

You’re just scared when you shouldn’t be but how could he blame you? Dads should set the bar high for their children but your dad just had to set it so low that he had caused you irreparable damage or worse, caused you your first heartbreak.

Jungkook’s misfortunes in love does not do justice to what you went through and he has come to realize that love isn’t just Sunday mornings and love songs but it could be a whole lot worse with it’s ugly side of after school Fridays and red velvet cakes.

Once again, Jungkook found himself at Soundcheck, not to sing but to do a whole lot of listening to you gush over Minho, your new boyfriend for about two months now. According to you, you met Minho during high school and had a big crush on him before but it didn’t go past that until you reconnected with him recently when you discovered that he’s in your Investigative Journalism subject.

Your relationship with Minho started out pretty soon, right after a week since your awful date with that football player from the dating app to be exact.

“Okay, one last song” you exclaimed as you got off the couch after resting a little while.

“I thought that was the last one?” Jungkook closed his eyes in exhaustion as he slid himself sideways to the couch, “Aren’t you tired?”

“I’ll pick a mellow song then” you searched through the song list and shouted an ‘aha!’ in joy as you picked up the remote to enter the song numbers right away.

Jungkook stared at the television, waiting for the screen to show the song title and he just had to sit back up once Emergency Room by Izi flashed on the screen, “Don’t you know that this song is superstitious to sing in a karaoke?”

“Is that the one where it’s believed that you might literally end up in an emergency room if you happen to sing it in a karaoke?”, Jungkook nodded his head while you could only roll your eyes, “Oh come on, Emergency Room is a must in karaoke and that’s why it’s called a superstition, Jungkook. It’s not real”

“Well, It doesn’t hurt to believe one, does it?”

You shrugged as you turn a deaf ear by singing the whole song by yourself, insistently proving that it’s just a stupid superstition like the others.

“So far, so good, hm?” you beamed a contemptuous smile as you finished the song.

“Let’s just go to Eomma’s, I'm hungry”, Jungkook shook his head as he grabbed your hand, dragging you outside of the room and into the elevator, pressing the ground floor button.

Eomma’s Tteokbokki is a hole in the wall restaurant located right beside the building where Soundcheck is and it is owned by a 72 year old woman named Han Ji Hye but everyone who frequents the place just calls her ‘Eomma’.

“Jungkook and Y/N, you’re here again” Eomma greeted the both of you as soon as you entered the restaurant. Despite her age, Eomma has a very sharp memory and remembers each and every one of her loyal customers, even treating them just like her children – Eomma sure does live up to her nickname.

“Of course, Eomma. How could i not come back to the most delicious tteokbokki i’ve ever tasted ”, you winked at her as you raised both of your hands to give her a thumbs up.

“Ah you kids always flatter me”, Eomma placed both of her hands above her heart, “You’ll be getting the classic tteokbokki as always, right?”

“As expected, Eomma knows us so well”, Jungkook smiled.

“You’re really such a handsome young boy, isn’t he Y/N?” Eomma pinched his cheeks as she turned to look at you but you could only laugh as soon as you saw Jungkook adorably scrunched his nose.

“Ah Eomma, i might be convinced if you keep on saying that” Jungkook said through his gritted teeth.

“Is he?” you raised your eyebrows as you teasingly looked at Jungkook.

“Oh dear, you’re missing out. I’d marry my granddaughter to him if only i have one around his age but in case you change your mind, you better invite me to your wedding – you’d make a great pair!”

Jungkook shyly caressed his hair behind his ears as he pursed his lips and he just had to cover his face once he felt his face getting warmer by the second and you aren’t also an exception for Eomma’s teasing as you felt yourself getting shy, making you chug a glassful of water just to hide it.

“Alright, let me just get your orders”, Eomma chuckled as she patted both of your shoulders.

Peering through his fingers, Jungkook waited for Eomma to disappear into the kitchen but you wrapped your hands around his wrist as you tried to pry it away from his face as you went on to tease him.

“Come on, why are you hiding your handsome face?” you laughed but got startled all of a sudden once you heard your phone vibrating against the metal table.

Jungkook willingly took his hands off his face as he watched you pressed your phone against your ear, already guessing that Minho is probably on the other end of the line.

Eomma came by to serve the tteokbokki, telling you to eat to your heart’s content before disappearing once again behind the kitchen. Jungkook proceeded to eat first as he tried not to eavesdrop into your conversation that is until you called his attention.

“Is it okay if Minho’s joining us?” you asked as you pry your phone away from your ear.

Jungkook paused for a bit before he could answer, “Yeah, it’s fine.”

“Great” you smiled as you then told Minho over the phone to come over at Eomma’s.

Well, this is new. The both of you have never met each other’s significant other – except for Cho Hee since you went to highschool with her but besides that, the both of you have never bothered to begin with, considering how they just come and go so why go through all that trouble now?

“So, is that the reason why you wanted to have a late dinner with me?” he slowly drew out the words as he tilted his head to the side.

“Well, i think it’s just a matter of time for you to meet him”, you shrugged as you placed down your phone and grabbed the chopsticks off the utensils holder.

“I thought we don’t do that?” Jungkook chuckled as he looked across you.

“I know and this may sound cliche but…” you tried to chew first the tteokbokki but you can’t contain your smile as you thought of the next sentence you’ll say and now you looked like a cheeky chipmunk, “Minho’s different.”

“Yeah? You think so?”

“He’s actually very very nice like he’s such an angel and he’s just that kind of person you’d want to introduce to your family” you explained with glimmer in your eyes like you just discovered one of the most lustrous diamond on earth and by that, he could tell just how smitten you are with Minho and that’s when he weirdly felt the twinge of envy inside him.

“Oh here he is” you sat up straight as you raised your hand to call Minho.

Jungkook turned around and suspected the boy clad in a blue flannel shirt and black jeans to be Minho when he saw him walking over towards your table.

“Hey”, Minho leaned down, pulling you in a one sided hug as he kissed your cheek, making you flustered until you realized that Jungkook’s probably cringing at your display of affection.

“Oh um Minho this is Jungkook, Jungkook Minho” you pointed them towards each other, smiling brightly as you clasped your hands together right after.

“It’s nice to meet you, Jungkook” Minho extended his hand for Jungkook to shake but Jungkook remained in his seat, sizing him up until you kicked his foot.

“Glad to finally meet you too, Minho” Jungkook stood up as he firmly shaked his hand.

“Okay, why don’t we all sit down?” you interjected when you noticed the visible awkwardness between the two.

You guided Minho to sit down on your left side as you called over one of the servers to ask for the menu. On the other hand, Jungkook watched in amusement at your sudden change of character, smiling to himself as he went back to eat.

[Thursday, Sept 18, 9:33 PM]

You: BE NICE

Jungkook glanced towards his phone then to you after reading out your message and he tried his best not to snort when he saw you widening your eyes at him as if that’ll threaten him. Nonetheless, he’ll be willing to follow through whatever you want since it looks like you’re very keen to make him and Minho get along.

“So uh you went to the same high school with Y/N, right?” Jungkook asked, initiating to start and engage into some small talk even though he despises it.

“Yeah and it’s funny to think how small the world is huh?”, Jungkook furrowed his brows at his statement, “Y/N told me you’re dating Cho Hee.”

“Did she?” Jungkook raised his eyebrows at you while you just silently sat there as you poke on your food to avoid his glare.

“You know what? Why don’t we invite Cho Hee here, we could do a double date”, Minho suggested as he nudged you with his elbow.

You scratched the nape of your neck as you let out a chuckle that sounds way out too forced, “I’m going to go in the restroom real quick.”

Jungkook remained his gaze at you until you’re out of his sight, turning back his attention to Minho, “Um, we broke up.”

“Oh really? I'm so sorry i didn’t know”

“It’s fine”, Jungkook quickly dismissed Minho, making the whole atmosphere awkward all of a sudden. Thankfully, Minho found a way to fill in the uncomfortable silence as he changed the topic.

“You’re majoring in Information Systems, right?” Minho asked and Jungkook wondered what’s the point of doing this small talk when you have already shared loads of unnecessary information about Minho, heck he even knows he has a phobia of chickens because he was attacked by one when he was child in his grandfather’s poultry farm and he could only guess that Minho probably knows everything about him too.

“Yeah”

“Then you probably know Professor Seo?” Minho asked as he planted his elbows on top of the table after ordering.

“Yeah he was my advisor during my feasibility study last year, made my junior year eventually a hell with the constant revisions that shouldn’t be even revised just because he’s being so stupidly meticulous”, Jungkook blabbered, trying at least to exert some effort into this conversation, “How do you know him?”

“He’s my uncle”, and with that being said, Jungkook choked up on his food, prompting Minho to get him a glass of water, passing it to him.

Well, fuck. Why have you not mentioned that to him before?

“But yeah, I get it, me and my cousins hate how he’s sometimes strict with us too”, Minho smiled, leaving Jungkook to decipher if it’s a fake one or genuine. Nonetheless, Jungkook let out a nervous chuckle as he eyed the restroom, wondering when are you going to come out to save him from his embarrassment.

As if the gods had heard his prayers, the server went by the table to put down Minho’s order of tteokbokki whilst his phone went off just in time to save his dignity.

“Excuse me”, Jungkook stood up as he went outside the restaurant to answer the call from his thesis mate.

As soon as he answered the call, his thesis mate endlessly rambled on about how his brain had managed to dried up from creating different survey questions only for them to end up getting rejected by their advisor hence why he’s calling Jungkook to ask for help.

Jungkook was put on the spot as he tried to brainstorm for plausible questions although it took him some time but he ended up contributing five questions so at least there’s that to save his thesis mate.

Once the call ended, Jungkook went back inside to see a bit of commotion going on around your table. Minho was rubbing his hands at your back as he looked at you with an equally confused face whilst the server from a while ago was trying to assess the situation by asking you a question but your coughing fit prevents you from speaking up.

“What’s happening?” Jungkook asked the same question the server was just asking.

“I think she’s choking” the server handed a glass of water to Minho who took it to put it against your mouth, assisting you whilst continuously patting your back but it took no effect to cease your coughing fit.

“I can’t breathe” you heaved as you scratch your neck and that’s when Jungkook noticed your watery eyes and your face that’s starting to swell. Pulling up the sleeves of your jacket, his guess was right when he saw hives littering your arm – you’re having an allergic reaction.

“Do you have an antihistamine with you?” Jungkook asked you as you shook your head no, remembering how you had just brought only your wallet with you and that’s how he began to get frantic.

“I’ll hail a cab, we need to get her to the hospital” Jungkook rushed towards the door but Minho stopped him before he could get outside.

“I’ve taken my car with me”, Minho told Jungkook as he hoisted you up by putting his arm around you, guiding you towards the outside and into his car. On the other hand, Jungkook went straight to the cashier to pay for the bill before he dashed out of the restaurant to follow suit.

Minho started the car once Jungkook got in the backseat, speeding right away to the nearest hospital. Jungkook leaned forward towards the center console as he worriedly looked at you

“What’s happening with her?” Minho looked totally lost as he looked over at you then towards Jungkook for some answer.

“She’s having an allergic reaction”, Jungkook stated the obvious fact, “What did she eat?”

“I ordered the new flavored tteokbokki then she just grabbed a bite or two, that’s it” Minho said in his defense.

“The cheesy shrimp one!?” Jungkook widened his eyes.

“Yeah, is she allergic to shrimp? But I thought she’s allergic to seashells though?”

Jungkook looked at Minho dead in the eyes, wondering if your boyfriend is seriously trying to make a joke right now or is he just plain stupid? With the way he looks so serious asking him about it, he could confirm that it’s the latter.

“You meant to say shellfish, right?” Jungkook grumbled as he tried to remain calm, knowing that your boyfriend isn’t actually clueless about your allergy but he sure is careless to forget that one important thing about you.

Jungkook was pulled out of his anger as soon as a sob escaped from you, making him turn his attention at you, just in time to see you clutching the collar of your shirt as if you’d want to loosen them with the way you looked like you were gasping for air while your shoulders heaved.

“I can’t breathe”, you said in between shaky breaths, “I’m going to die.”

“Hey, try not to cry, okay? It’ll be harder for you to breathe” Jungkook instructed Minho to roll down your windows as he warmly smiled at you once you looked at him but you quickly diverted your eyes to Minho when he gently grabbed your hand, squeezing it to reassure you.

“We’re near and I promise, I’m not going to let you die” Minho told you as he steered his eyes away from the road for a moment to look at you oh so lovingly like he isn’t the reason why you were like this in the first place, causing Jungkook to internally cringe.

Not too long, Minho drove the car to the driveway slope of the emergency bay and Jungkook quickly hopped off the car, opening your door as he removed your seatbelt for you, wrapping his arm around your back and under your knees when you slightly pushed his shoulder, stopping his movements.

“I can walk”, you weakly voice out.

Jungkook let out an exasperated sigh as he went on instead to grab your arm, slinging it around his shoulder while he held you securely close to him by wrapping his arm around your waist, hoisting you up out of your seat and towards the entrance.

“Is your pride really that important?” Jungkook reprimanded you.

Once the automatic doors opened, a nurse stationing the desk nearby the entrance rushed in to your aid. Jungkook explained the whole thing to the nurse and she was quick to get a wheelchair for you as she wheeled you towards one of the vacant beds.

Jungkook stood at the end of the bed, crossing his arms as he anxiously bit down on his thumb whilst he watched the two nurses move you towards the bed. They try to ask you your name or simply assure you to try to stay you calm as they put on an oxygen mask for you to breathe properly.

Thankfully, your breathing started to come back to normal when they injected a shot of epinephrine into your thigh. The nurse removed your jacket for you as they rolled up the sleeves of your shirt to wrap the cuff of the blood pressure monitor around your arm.

“How is she?” Minho asked as he suddenly appeared beside Jungkook, startling him a bit.

“They just gave her an epinephrine” Jungkook told him without taking his eyes off of you as he gave you a reassuring smile when he saw your still worrisome face.

The nurse came up to Jungkook after she had taken down your vital signs, “Are you her boyfriend?”

“Uh no, he is”, Jungkook pointed to Minho as he rubbed his hand against the nape of his neck.

“Oh I’m very sorry” the nurse apologized as she turned her attention to Minho to ask him a few questions and to also fill out some paperwork.

“How are you feeling?” Jungkook asked as he went to sit down on one of the chairs beside the bed.

“Good”, you heaved out a sigh, “I should’ve listened to you.”

“About what?” Jungkook furrowed his brows, clueless to what you’re referring to.

“I should’ve not sung Emergency Room.”

Jungkook closed his eyes as he smiled, tiling his head to the side, “I thought you were being serious there.”

The sound of the curtains closing swiftly caused the both of you to turn your attention towards the nurse and Minho who just ended their conversation. Minho walked towards the side of the bed where Jungkook is currently seated, prompting him to stand up and give his seat to him as he chose to idly stand at the end of the bed instead, watching the two of you converse.

“I’ll just go to the convenience store outside”, Jungkook announced, quite finding it awkward to be a third wheel inside that cramped cubicle room.

The trip to the convenience store didn’t take him too long as he’s now entering the automatic doors of the emergency room with a white plastic bag on his hand, containing refreshments for the three of you. He was about to open the curtains of your cubicle but he stopped himself when he overheard Minho’s words, not wanting to get in the way of your conversation just yet.

“Shit, i forgot to pick up my sister”, Minho said, panic evident in his voice.

“Oh, right, you should go'' you muttered albeit disappointedly.

“Are you sure?”

Your boyfriend is completely incredulous to say that, knowing you were in a critical situation minutes ago and Jungkook knew that he just had to interject into your conversation, “I’ll take her home.”

Minho was dumbfounded for a bit when Jungkook shoved the bottle of cold brew right away into his hand and he was left to think how nice Jungkook is but his not so subtle aggressive action says otherwise.

“Okay then”, Minho shrugged as he leaned down to you, planting a kiss right on your forehead, “Keep me updated, okay?” you nodded as you watched Minho go over to Jungkook, pulling him in for a half hug as he thanked him for the drink.

Minho looked over at you one last time, waving his hand before he disappeared right as he went out through the curtains. Sighing, you laid your head back against the pillow, staring right through the creamy white ceiling when a box of apple juice appeared right before you.

“And for you”, you grabbed the juice from Jungkook as you sat yourself upright, opening the box as you punched the straw through the hole.

“Thanks”, you said as you took a sip.

“So, he left to pick up his sister huh?” Jungkook asked as he sat on the side of the mattress.

It really wasn’t hard for you to miss his snide remark and it can’t be helped that Minho might’ve not sat well with Jungkook considering all of the events for tonight, giving Minho a bad first impression for Jungkook.

“Minho’s really going to fetch his sister tonight. He just dropped by at Eomma’s because it’s on his way”, you defended as you try to justify Minho’s action.

“Still, aren’t you here because you’re allergic to seashells?” Jungkook smiled in a condescending way.

You chuckled as you kicked his side with your leg, “Don’t be so hard on him besides, it was an accident.”

“Ow, that kick sure is harder” Jungkook hissed as he rubbed his sides, acting as if your kick was really that strong and forceful when it’s not.

Jungkook immediately hopped off the bed as soon as the doctor came in but she was quick to dismiss him, telling him it’s fine. Nonetheless, Jungkook chose to stand, watching Doctor Kim – as it says on her coat – switch on her penlight, instructing you to open your mouth.

“What did you eat?” the doctor asked you as she examined the chart.

“I had a tteokbokki but i didn’t know that it had some shrimp on it.”

“Okay and have you ever had this type of reaction before?” Doctor Kim asked as she clicked her click pen against the clipboard to write down what you’re saying.

“No, I usually just take an antihistamine for my allergy.”

Doctor Kim nodded as she reviewed the chart one last time before she spoke up, “Alright, so what you went through is called an anaphylactic shock which is a severe allergic reaction that can be very life threatening if not treated immediately but thankfully, you were taken care of. Since it's the first time you got this reaction, I'd recommend that you carry an EpiPen with you from now on just to be cautious for future attacks like these.”

“Will I be discharged now?” you asked when you suddenly remember that you still have an unfinished essay to work on.

Doctor Kim chuckled at how you sounded like an impatient kid, “Well, not yet because you’re still under observation and we need to make sure that you won’t have a second reaction. Also, i have to put you through an antihistamine IV drip to lessen the swelling on your throat.”

“Oh okay” you said, sounding unsure as your mind is too busy thinking if you’d be able to finish your essay and pass it on time.

“Alright, i’ll be checking on you from time to time, okay?” Doctor Kim smiled as you thanked her.

As Doctor Kim left, you pressed your fingers against your temples, sighing as you unlocked your phone to stare at your essay that still needs 1,000 words for you to finish it but nothing seems to come up to your mind when you try to brainstorm for ideas.

“What’s the matter?” Jungkook asked out of curiosity.

“I have an essay due before midnight and I’m still not yet done.”

“What is it about?”

Before you could even reply, a nurse came in to set up the IV fluid solution bag by suspending it on an infusion stand, “Hi, i’ll be inserting the IV now, okay?”

You watched the nurse wrap a tourniquet around your wrist as she palpates the skin atop of your hand, looking for a prominent vein. The catheter hasn’t even pricked your skin yet but you had already turned your head to the side, squeezing your eyes shut as soon as the nurse swabbed the sterowipe atop of your hand.

Stifling a laugh, Jungkook enclosed his hand around yours for you to hold on to but he was not expecting for you to grip his hand so tightly as if your life depended on it, making him grimace in pain.

“Okay, you’re done” the nurse told you as she opened the roller clamp to let the fluid flow through your veins.

“Thank you”, you smiled.

“That was one hell of a grip”, Jungkook shook his hand, “Were you going to crush my bones?”

“Sorry”, you apologized as you immediately went back to look on your phone, skimming through your essay.

“What is it about?” Jungkook repeated.

“It’s fine, It’s not like you could really help me with it” you waved your hand, dismissing him.

“Are you underestimating me?” Jungkook squinted his eyes as he leaned closer towards you.

You withdrew your eyes away from the screen just to roll your eyes at Jungkook, “It’s about Marxism and its relevance to today’s society.”

“That’s something about capitalism, isn’t it?”

“It’s a theory about the effects of capitalism on workers and the economic development but yeah.”

“See, have a little faith in me, yeah?” Jungkook winked as he grabbed your phone to search the topic right away.

“If you say so”, you said, still quite unconvinced.

“I’ll treat you at Eomma’s if you get a perfect score.”

Well, that’s more convincing although the real reason you don’t want to accept Jungkook’s help is because you’ve been a big burden just for tonight. It’s not like you could deny him if he’ll keep on insisting besides, you could feel your eyes getting heavier with how tired you are just from crying.

You pointed out clearly to Jungkook that he just needs to open the student portal and submit the essay before midnight. Jungkook was quick to dismiss you after you have relayed all the important information, instructing you to just lay down and rest.

Jungkook tried to absorb as much information about the concept behind Marxism and he has one and a half hours left to do some research and write about it that’s why he’s concentrating hard to put out all his best to this work but you got him all distracted upon hearing you chuckle.

“What?” he raised his head to look at you.

“You look so serious”

“Just close your eyes”, Jungkook covered your eyes with his hand, making you grab his wrist to pry it away from your now closed eyes.

Shaking his head, Jungkook went back to focus on his writing and next thing he knew, he had finished and submitted it just in time – five minutes before midnight to be exact.

Jungkook let out a yawn as he stretched his whole body by extending his arms upward and twisting his body from side to side. He inched the chair closer against the side of the bed so he could lay down his head atop of his arms to take a quick nap.

Looking at you, fast asleep and so peaceful, Jungkook chuckled to himself at how he could clearly make out your wide open mouth behind the oxygen mask thus prompting him to prod your chin up to close your mouth only for you to open them again.

His gaze remained on you and weirdly enough, a familiar sense of warmth overcame Jungkook, just like that day when he saw his mom and dad dancing in the living room therefore making him realize that maybe, suppressing these emotions won’t be of much help anymore.

Jungkook rushed towards the campus plaza after his classes to meet you there since you are both assigned to cover the Chuseok festivities in the campus for the school newspaper. He took out the laminated staff ID from his pocket, wearing it around his neck as he ran even faster once he heard the introduction speech of the hosts for today’s program booming through the speakers.

It took him another five minutes before he was able to get past through the barricades and stand right beside you at the side stage, considering the plaza was already packed when he got there. Jungkook had to squeeze his way through the crowd as he muttered a bunch of ‘excuse me’ and ‘sorry’ to those who he had bumped onto accidentally in the process.

“I saved you some” you said, giving him a pack of Pumpkin Songpyeon that was distributed for free by the brand that’s sponsoring the event.

Jungkook first got his camera from his bag before he took the pack of rice cake from you, “Thanks.”

A group of girls dressed in blue and red traditional hanboks filled the stage once the host introduced them. They went on to form a circle as they joined their hands together to perform a dance of Ganggangsullae. Raising his camera, he looked into the viewfinder as he set on to capture the performance that is until you nudged his shoulder

A blurred shot of the performance then displayed on his camera’s screen, causing him to tighten his lips as he looked over at you to question why you had to ruin his shot but you were busy shaking your pointer finger towards the performers on stage.

“Oh Jungkook, isn’t that Cho Hee?”, you said, “She’s gotten prettier.”

The girls in the circle are now crouched down as they languidly swing their arms side to side, surrounding the two girls dancing in the middle of the circle and sure enough, Jungkook now recognized one of the two girls wearing the red hanbok to be his ex-girlfriend.

Honestly, it has been a while since he last saw Cho Hee around and he could thank the massive campus for it. He’s actually glad to see her perform up there, knowing that his bitter feelings for her have naturally subdued which could only mean that he had actually moved on from her.

Junkook chose to ignore your remarks as he then proceeded to take a few shots until he got satisfied with it. The performance soon ended with all of the girls going down to the side of the stage where the both of you are standing and he pretended to review his shots, knowing how awkward it always gets when he gets to see his exes by chance.

“Cho Hee! you were great up there” you said as you approach Cho Hee to grab her arm.

Did you really have to talk to her?

“Ah thank you” Cho Hee smiled, bowing his head shyly at you and then she looked at him, “Hi.”

“Hi”, Jungkook raised his hand to do a little wave.

You could definitely feel the awkwardness radiating between the two when you looked over them as they tried to look anywhere else except at each other’s gaze.

“It’s so nice to see you again” you spoke up, making it easier for the two.

“Yeah, you too” Cho Hee said, “Anyway, i need to change backstage so i guess, i’ll see you around and by the way, Happy Chuseok!”

“Happy Chuseok”, Jungkook said in unison with you.

“Well, that was awkward” you chuckled as you imitated Jungkook’s awkward ‘Hi’ greeting to Cho Hee.

Jungkook shook his head at you as he opened the pack of Songpyeon to snack on, “How are you and Seashell?” he asked, changing the topic.

“Stop calling him that” you pinched his arm but laugh nonetheless at how Jungkook stuck to calling Minho that obnoxious nickname ever since that incident, “We’re good. Actually, he’s going home with me tomorrow to meet my parents.”

Well, that’s surprising. You’ve never taken home any of your past boyfriends for the holidays or maybe it’s just the fact that they didn’t last long enough to celebrate a special holiday like this whereas it looks like Minho is in it for the long run but isn’t it too early to introduce him to your family?

“Oh you’re leaving early?” Jungkook asked, completely ignoring the fact about Minho.

“Yeah, how about you?”

“I’m leaving the day after tomorrow.”

Jungkook can’t fully understand what you see in Minho and he doesn’t get it either why your relationship with him seems too fast but who is he to complain like that anyway?

You’re now happy and Jungkook doesn’t want to ruin that just because he had doubts about Minho although you clearly know already how much he dislikes your boyfriend. Jungkook just wants what’s best for you because that’s how a friend should think, is it? This is definitely not rooting from something else.

After the event, you went your separate ways with you saying that you still have to ready and pack up your belongings for tomorrow whilst Jungkook spent the rest of his day inside his dorm to just lay around and watch his roommate pack up like what everyone else is probably doing.

The highway traffic is always the worst before the eve of Chuseok as everyone is scampering to spend the start of the holiday in their respective hometowns while Jungkook took the smart idea of travelling to Busan on the eve itself since everyone’s home by then and the traffic is much lighter.

It was already past noon when Jungkook woke up the next day to see that his roommate already left. He snuggled closer to his pillow, closing his eyes to go back to sleep again since there’s really nothing important for him to do for the whole day so he might as well get that well deserved sleep for all of those all-nighters he went through this semester.

Jungkook groaned as he heard the blaring sound of the alarm on his phone go off when he’s certain that he had not set up an alarm. Nonetheless, he patted the space beside him to blindly search for the device, pressing the home button so he could peacefully go back to dreamland.

He was slowly drifting off to sleep again when his phone went off again and this time, he opened his eyes as he looked over the screen to notice that it was not an alarm but it’s a phone call from you.

“Jungkook”

“Hmm?” he drawled out a low hum as he rubbed the sleep from his eyes.

“Are you doing anything now?”

“I was sleeping but why?” he said with his eyes still closed, wondering why you're calling him.

“Can you meet me up at Soundcheck?”

Jungkook sat himself up as he looked over at his window to see that the sun was beginning to set, “Aren’t you back at home with Minho?”

“Hmm there’s a change of plan so hurry, i’m already here” you ended the call before he could even ask you more about it.

Well, it looks like sleeping in isn’t an option anymore. Jungkook yawned as he stood up lazily, ruffling his hair whilst he walked towards the bathroom to take a quick shower.

He could not be bothered to take out his comfy casual clothes that he had already packed in his duffle bag so he had just set on to wear whatever is left in his closet – a simple white t-shirt and a nice pair of ripped denim jeans plus a black windbreaker to protect him from the cold.

It’s quite strange to see how the street outside his complex looks almost empty or rather the whole area surrounding the university looks like a ghost town with the majority of the establishments closed prior to the holiday.

Soundcheck is approximately just a seven minute walk from his dorm that’s why it didn’t take too long for him to arrive there. As usual, Hyunseok greeted him, telling him that you and him might be the only customers he’ll be having tonight.

Jungkook headed straight to the room where you are to see you already belting out the lyrics to Since U Been Gone as soon as he opened the door. Not wasting any time further, Jungkook grabbed the other mic off the couch, joining you as he went on full crazy with you by bobbing your heads along to the beat.

It all went like that until Jungkook slumped back on the couch by the fourth song, all out of breath as he tried to take a rest for a while. On the other hand, you’re still energetic as ever and maybe, the two empty bottles of beer on the table is a very clear indication.

Wait.

That’s very unusual of you, considering you could only tolerate one bottle or less of alcohol and any amount more than that will make you a drunken mess in a matter of time – you’re a lightweight drinker after all.

Suddenly, Jungkook remembered the reason why he is here in the first place yet he still ought to know why you’re here, drinking way too much for your liking when you should be back at your hometown to introduce Minho to your family.

“I’ll have that” he snatched your supposedly third beer from your hand as he took a swig that had you complaining at him.

“There’s two more in the bucket!” you whined with your brows furrowed in annoyance.

Jungkook smiled knowing that he got you annoyed but it’s more of the fact that you look rather adorable than menacing. Of course, you wouldn’t take his delight too well as you rolled your eyes at him and proceeded to get another bottle in the bucket instead.

“Don’t be too greedy. Why don’t you save me some?” Jungkook took a hold of your arm that’s already extending towards the bucket of beer as he pulled you down to sit beside him into which you thankfully obliged.

You used Jungkook’s arm on the headrest to cushion your head against as you blankly stared at the ceiling and you felt your eyelids getting heavier once you felt the drowsiness setting in. Scooting closer, you moved your head on Jungkook’s shoulder as you closed your eyes.

“Sing me a song.”

You must’ve thought that Jungkook didn’t hear you when he made no move to grab the remote and pick a song, considering you murmured the words to him but he caught you by surprise when he started to sing an acapella of Alaina Castillo’s Sad Girl much exactly to what you’re feeling right now.

Jungkook’s honey like voice reverberated around the room and you always love how soft and warm his voice is, adding up to the already comforting touches he’s giving you.

Jungkook held you tighter as he enveloped his arms around your shoulder, reeling you in whilst you nuzzled further into his neck as you absentmindedly took a whiff of his cologne – you can’t help it, he just smells so good all the time.

You're supposed to be back at home to introduce Minho to your entire family yet here you are, cuddling up on Jungkook's side. It’s oddly unfamiliar to have Jungkook be this close to you but it’s strangely good and you can’t tell if you want yourself to be familiarized with this kind of setting.

Opening your eyes, you observed Jungkook’s other hand on his lap, laying ever so close to yours and you may or may not have the urge to hold his hand out of nowhere but you were brought out of your thoughts before you could even give in when Jungkook finished the song.

Jungkook went on to hum a soulful tune that you can’t point out if it originated from a song or if he had just made it up but it’s not like you actually mind. You’re at least thankful for having Jungkook to be just here for you even though it was a spontaneous invite. Still, he made the effort to go here and you think that’s enough for your spirits to be lifted up, at least for a little while.

“I broke up with Minho.”

Jungkook glanced down at you, surprised that those words came out of your mouth though he had a hunch that something bad happened between you and Minho as soon as you called him but he didn’t fully expect for you to end things with him, not when you were so ecstatic to bring him home just yesterday.

“What happened?” he tried to lower down his head to take a look at you but he’s unable to, given that your hair has now made its way to your face, making him tuck your hair behind your ear.

“I just realized that he’s not the right person i’d want to introduce to my family.”

Well, that’s a pretty vague answer but before he could question you for more, Hyunseok appeared by the door.

“Hey guys…” Hyunseok’s voice faltered once he took in the view of you both cuddled up close but of course, that didn’t quite last long as you separate yourself from Jungkook, “Um i’m closing early tonight which i mean is in fifteen minutes – just a heads up though!”

“Okay” you both said at the same time and once Hyunseok is out of the room, you stand up all of a sudden to grab the mic and remote off the table.

“We better sing then” you said with a bright smile on your face like you just didn’t gloomily tell him how you had just gotten out of a relationship.

Jungkook assumed that maybe your break up is still too sensitive for you to talk about and maybe you weren’t meant to break out the news just yet. Of course, he’ll respect that until you’re ready to tell him although he’s dying to know what went wrong.

In a span of fifteen minutes, Jungkook was quite spent from trying to squeeze in a whole lot of songs to sing and he was also getting tipsy from gulping down the remaining bottles just so you could not drink any further though you’ve managed to sneakily sip just a bit from his.

“To Eomma’s!” you said once the doors of the elevator opened, darting immediately towards the direction of the restaurant that was disappointingly close already.

“Oh man” Jungkook scratched his head as he stood right next to you while you both stared at the closed signage by the door, “guess we just have to find another place.”

Jungkook slung his arm around your shoulder when he saw how you looked like you were walking on two left feet. You both wandered off the streets to look for any open restaurants you could walk into but it looks like you wouldn’t even find one no matter how hard you look everywhere.

“There’s nowhere for us to go” you pouted, planting your hand on Jungkook’s shoulder.

“Do you wanna head back?”

“Mmm no”, you shook your head, “I don’t want to be alone just yet.”

Glancing down, Jungkook examined your face to see if you’re doing okay but you're completely devoid of any emotions because you looked like you're spacing out instead.

Jungkook pinched your cheeks to tease you only for you to swat his hand away. In return, you turned your head sideways as you playfully bit on Jungkook’s arm, causing him to remove his arm off of you.

“Ow!”, Jungkook chuckled, “Where do you want to go then?”

You looked up as you try to rack your brain of where you could possibly go at this hour but Jungkook’s adamant on being a little shit right now as he continues to bother you further by bumping his hip against yours to which of course, you retaliated back with an even stronger force and you both went on with it until you eventually lose your balance that had you landing on your bum.

“Ah look what happened”, you take a closer look at your palm, inspecting the new formed graze you got when you tried to lessen the impact of your fall by planting your hand down on the concrete.

“Sorry” Jungkook crouched down on your level, taking your hand to dust the dirt off your palm and to also pull you up with him, keeping you back on his side again by intertwining your arms since you’re prone to hurting yourself lately – emotionally and physically wise speaking.

“So, where now?” Jungkook asked as he rested his head sideways against yours.

“Ew, can’t you talk properly? Your saliva is sputtering on my face” you wiped your cheek as you disgustingly looked at Jungkook.

“That’s not me”, Jungkook widened his eyes at your accusation when he could also feel something wet on his face, more so when he looked up towards the night sky, “Oh? is it going to rain?”

As if on cue, the heavy rain poured, leaving you with only a little time to save yourselves as you both giggly made your way over the sidewalk where you took shelter under the canopy roof of a coffee shop.

Jungkook took in the familiar surroundings and he easily distinguished where the both of you are, “My dorm’s nearby, do you want to stay there for a while?”

“Sure” you said, letting Jungkook take your hand as he guided you, even pointing out the puddles you should avoid but you ended up stepping on some of them, making the both of you laugh.

Upon entering the lobby of Jungkook’s dorm, the security guard blatantly give you weird looks just because you’re both a giggling mess for no apparent reason at all although you stopped midway to apologetically bow your head to him before Jungkook dragged you towards the elevator in a hurry.

You observed your appearance once you had taken a good look of yourself against the mirrored elevator doors. Luckily, you’ve only gotten wet patches throughout your green sweatshirt and leggings but water began to pool around your white tennis shoes because of how drenched it is.

“Doesn’t this sound too dirty?” you laughed as you lightly stomp your feet to produce the wet sloppy sound that totally mimics a sound of two people making out or just having sex in general.

Jungkook smiled as he scratched his brows, finding it ridiculous that you’re starting to voice out your weird thoughts so indiscreetly, “You’re weird.”

Obviously, the weirder thing is that Jungkook has been staring at your joined hands through the whole ride up and it’s inexplicable how nice it is to feel your soft and warm ones against his own that he can’t bring himself to break away the contact, well as long as you allow him to.

Disappointingly, you managed to let go of his hand when you got inside his room so you could discard your wet shoes and socks before going inside the bathroom. Jungkook sat down on the chair, removing his windbreaker and untying his shoes as well.

“Your roommate has gone home already?” you asked as you went over to Jungkook’s bed to lay down.

Jungkook nodded his head as he opened the drawer to get a strip of band aid, alcohol, and a tissue to tend for your graze.

“Have you washed your hands?” Jungkook looked over you as you nodded your head at him. You hissed as soon as Jungkook pressed the tissue he soaked in alcohol onto your graze, finishing it with a band-aid.

“How cute that you have this”, you smiled as you ran your fingers along the green band-aid with teddy bear patterns on it.

“It was Cho Hee’s”

“Oh”, you didn’t mean to sound so disheartened but your tone just came out like that, “Do you still have her things?”

“No, i just didn’t bother to throw out little things like this”

You slowly nodded as you felt your chest tighten for reasons you still ought to know but you quickly dismissed the feeling, laying yourself down on Jungkook’s bed while Jungkook just sat on the side.

Sometimes, you’re curious to know how Jungkook still manages to have faith in love despite being taken for granted by his past lovers – which you hate to see happen to him – or just being unfortunate in general but the question eventually slips your mind before you could even ask him about it.

“Do you still believe in love, Jungkook?” your gaze fell on him and he locked his phone, looking up to meet your eyes with a warm smile.

“Yeah”, Jungkook said with no hesitation as the natural lover he is.

“Why?” you asked, wanting to know his point of view and maybe you could try to learn a thing or two from him.

Jungkook thought about it for a minute before redirecting the question to you instead, curious to know what you have to say, “Why don’t you tell me first? Do you believe in love, Y/N?”

“I guess so” you answered unsurely.

“You guess so?” Jungkook knitted his brows, tilting his head sideways.

“Well, don’t we love because we want to be loved?”

Jungkook shook his head, disagreeing from your statement, “Love should always start from yourself.”

After he had said that, you looked back up the ceiling again as if you’re deep in thought whilst Jungkook just focused on picking up the loose thread along his ripped jeans. Not too long, Jungkook laid back a bit in an opposite position from yours, resting his weight against his elbow on the mattress as he pinched the bridge of his nose to fight off the sleep that’s slowly starting to get him.

“Am i beautiful?” you asked out of nowhere.

Your eyes are still fixated towards the ceiling when he looks over you, unsure at where this question is coming from and why you had said it so suddenly.

“Why are you asking this?” Jungkook nervously chuckled while you just remained silent, prompting him to actually answer your question to not throw you off, “You’re beautiful, Y/N.”

Jungkook tried to gauge your reaction but you’re not even showing any emotion at all when you’re completely lost looking at the ceiling ever since, thinking that maybe you’re just spewing out nonsense.

Laying down completely, Jungkook felt his eyelids getting heavier by the second no matter how hard he tried to fight the sleepiness away although at the end, he eventually gave in as he fluttered his eyes shut.

“Do you love me?”

Jungkook was caught off guard, prompting him to open his eyes as he asked himself if he just happened to hear your voice in his dream but he’s not that deep into his sleep yet for that to occur.

“Did you say something?” Jungkook asked, trying to make sure he heard it right.

“Do you love me, Jungkook?” you repeated but this time you sat up as you set your eyes on him instead of the ceiling.

Mimicking you, Jungkook sat himself up, facing you completely as he rubbed his hand against the nape of his neck, “Of course.”

“I mean, not as friends but... Is it possible that you could love me more than that?” you clarified as you await Jungkook's answer with such an intense stare that had him shying away, making him avert his eyes elsewhere as he thought of what he should even reply to that.

You broke out an awkward laugh when you noticed that you’ve made him uncomfortable by putting him on the spot, “Sorry, i wasn’t thinking straight.”

Jungkook doesn’t know why he just had to grab your arm when you’re about to lay down again but it’s like his body acted for him and ignored the warning signals his mind had sent him. Courage striked through as he bore his eyes into you while he said the words he thought would’ve never come out of him.

“I do love you”, Jungkook muttered before he could even regret saying it.

Not even a second later, he felt his sudden act of courage dwindling down right when he saw you widening your eyes but he had never expected for you to follow through by cupping his face with one of your hands as you went on to move intimately closer, so close that he could make out the raw skin of your lips that possibly resulted off of your bad habit of picking its dry skin.

“Y/N…” he whispered as a fair warning yet it sounds more like a lure.

All this time, he was standing on the edge, asking himself if he should move forward to jump and take the risk although it’s the unknown final outcome he fears the most – will it be a safe landing? or will it be a tormented crash?

There’s no time for him to hold back anymore as he had already let himself fall completely and Jungkook couldn’t care any less about his fickle thoughts when he averted his gaze away from your lips to your now closed eyes, making him do the same once he felt your lips collide with his.

Jungkook was just taking in how warm your lips felt but you pulled away as soon as you kissed him and he didn’t have to open his eyes to tell that you’ve not completely backed away from him when he could still feel your hot breath inches from his lips, leaving him wanting for more.

Wasting no time, Jungkook grabbed your shoulders as he tilted his head more to the side, opting to close the minimal space between you and that’s where things began to get pretty heated.

You deepened the kiss more as you placed your hand on Jungkook’s nape whilst the other rested on his chest. On the other hand, Jungkook eventually got his hands down to your waist and you responded by readjusting your position, straddling him with your legs placed on both sides of his lap.

It was then a constant pull between you two as you let yourselves be sucked in a state of euphoria and this is when Jungkook knew that he’s mindlessly falling dangerously fast and hard, making it thrilling yet scary at the same time that he has no assurance to hold on to but it’s not like he’s putting his mind to think of it right now.

Jungkook moved his hand towards your hair as he loosened the piece of elastic around it, letting your hair flow down as he threaded his fingers through it until his hands eventually came across your nape, reeling you in closer as if he’s trying to get rid of any non-existent space, if that’s even possible.

You broke away for a second as you hastily discarded your sweatshirt off and Jungkook’s mind immediately short circuited, eyes travelling down from your face and down to your upper half body that’s barely covering you with the help of your neon pink sports bra that had him smiling in amusement.

“What?” you raised your brows in a teasing manner.

“Cute”

Jungkook’s smile waned off as he felt your lips leave wet trails of kisses along his jaw and down to his neck, causing him to close his eyes in pleasure whilst he bit on his lip to try to keep his moans at a minimum.

Having you like this is totally driving him insane and on edge but as much as he wants to go on further, this feels very unsettling considering you’re both intoxicated and Jungkook had to put a stop before this goes too far.

He gently pushed your shoulders, creating a space between you two, “I don’t think we should be doing this.”

Jungkook pretty much looks like he’s still trapped in a daze but you could tell that he’s just holding it off, confusing you out as to why until you had finally come to your senses – you asked him a stupid question and one thing led to another and you’ve come to not realize until now that you’re sitting on his lap, half naked you might add.

Embarrassed, you froze in place, avoiding Jungkook’s eyes as you crossed your arms across your chest and stomach, feeling conscious all of a sudden like you didn’t initiate the whole thing.

It didn’t go unnoticed for Jungkook to know how you suddenly felt uncomfortable so he searched for your sweatshirt around his room to give it to you but it ended up at the top of his closet and it’s not like he could stand to reach for it when you’re still sitting on his lap.

Jungkook was quick to tug the end of his white shirt, raising it over his head which gave you the chance to ogle at his surprisingly toned chest and abs, making you fluster as you weren’t even aware that his body is this fit and he’s just been hiding it under those oversized clothing of his.

“Raise your arms”, Jungkook demanded.

You blinked as you averted your eyes back on his face, just in time to catch him smirking at you. Nonetheless, you obey as you did what is told even though you’re completely clueless as to why he’s asking you to do so.

“Better?” he asked after he slipped his shirt over your head, smoothing some of your hair that he eventually messed up in the process of kissing you.

You nodded as you held his face with your right hand, smiling fondly when he leaned into your touch and you hate how this moment itself is making you emotional for reasons you don’t even want to remember right now.

“Do you really mean it?” you asked, pertaining to his unexpected confession, “that...you love me?”

Jungkook went on to caress your hair, only pausing as he leaned forward to plant a kiss on your forehead before he lowered his head to match yours, deeply staring into your eyes as he took a deep breath to shake off his nerves. He was already falling, so what difference would it make it if he held back just to slow down a little bit?

“It has always been you”, Jungkook whispered in a low hum.

Closing your eyes, you heaved a content sigh, circling your legs around his body to pull him in closer as you lowered your head to rest them against his shoulder, arms snaking around his lower back ever so tightly.

Whereas, Jungkook had his arm around your shoulder whilst his other hand remained at the back of your head, fingers threading through your hair and you’ve come to learn that he must love to do that, finding it so endearing of him.

This seems perfect and meaningful, it really is, but you can’t help but feel awfully unfair.

“What’s wrong?” Jungkook asked once he felt you trembling but your crying had only gotten worse with that question, catching him off guard at the sudden change of events.

Jungkook tried to pry you away to take a better look at you but you won’t let him when you just hugged him tighter in return. Stunned, he questioned himself if he had said or done something wrong to upset you or was he just being too much that he got you overwhelmed?

You had finally broken away, breathing raggedly as you quickly wiped your tear stained cheeks, making Jungkook’s concern grow more.

“Hey” Jungkook whispered, sliding his thumb across your cheeks to wipe your tears but you subtly pushed his hand away as you removed yourself off his lap to sit instead near the headboard of his bed, creating a distance between you two.

Crossing your legs, you let your head hang low so your hair could completely block your face away from Jungkook, making it hard for him to read you but your body language speaks for itself and he thought that maybe, he had misread the whole situation.

“I’m so-”

“I caught Minho cheating on me” you broke out the news after you’ve taken a deep breath.

“What?” Jungkook gaped his mouth in surprise, eyes widening as he replayed the words over and over again into his head.

“I went to his dorm unannounced yesterday and when I opened the door i-” you buried your face into your hands as you broke out into a sob again.

“You don’t have to continue that”, Jungkook inched closer as he was about to give you a hug but he was reminded of how you had pushed him away seconds ago thus making him retract his hand away that’s been hovering above your shoulder for quite a while. Instead, he gave you some space as he could only helplessly watch you.

Anger bubbled up inside him and he was furious, knowing how much love and effort you have poured for your shit of an ex-boyfriend. Jungkook had finally claimed his doubts that he’s up to no good yet you always dismiss him because of how you truly love and believe in him.

Jungkook propped his fist against his temple, watching you worriedly but he’s just glad that you’ve managed to calm down a bit, “I think you need to take a rest now.”

“Okay” you nodded, standing up and walking over to get your still soaked shoes.

“You could stay... If you want” Jungkook stammered as he scratched his head.

You stare at your tennis shoes, deciding whether to wear it or put it back but you guess that the latter option is more reasonable just because it’s much more comfortable to wear these shoes dry anyway but that’s just an excuse your mind made up for you to believe.

“Sure”, you said, joining Jungkook to sit at the side of his bed.

“Okay”

“I’m just going to wash my face” you excused yourself before it gets too awkward.

While you were inside the bathroom, Jungkook got up towards his closet, getting himself another shirt and also taking off his pants, leaving him only in his boxer shorts. He headed back to his bed, getting under the covers as he laid on his back to look at the ceiling and think of this night that had him running his hand along his face.

He has come to know now that you’ve asked him those questions because you just need to be reassured and so you could also stray away from those insecurities that Minho has now planted on you.

Jungkook hates how he could be so naive at times but could you blame him for being unaware? For taking the chance you don’t even fully intend to give to begin with? But shouldn’t he be grateful at least that he was able to grasp that chance for a little while even though he knows it’s only a matter of make-believe? And by that, he can’t help but feel a pang on his chest.

Were you just using him to get over Minho?

There wasn’t enough time for him to ponder much over it when he heard the knob of the bathroom door twisting and he went to scoot to the other side, giving you enough space to lay on.

As you laid down, Jungkook tried his best to set aside his own feelings for your sake, reminding himself that you’re the one he should be worrying about more but that doesn’t erase the fact that you’re not just the only one hurting here.

“You good?” Jungkook asked as he felt the bed dipped.

“Yeah”, you whispered.

“I knew there’s something wrong with him ever since that emergency room incident”, Jungkook said, filling in the void.

“Actually, he lied about picking up his sister. He went over to see his ex that night” you said with such contempt in your voice.

“Oh wow”, he said, turning his head sideways to look at you, “Do you want me to beat the shit out of him so that he could actually end up staying in the emergency room this time?”

Jungkook tried to make the mood lighter and somehow, his statement earned a chuckle from you although the awkward silence made its way back once again.

“Jungkook, about-”

“We should sleep” Jungkook cut you off, choosing not to hear what you have to say, knowing that you’re probably going to bring up about the events before. Call him a coward but some things are better left unsaid and he would appreciate it if you spare him his pride, at least for tonight.

Even though it’s completely dark in his room, he could definitely feel your eyes on him and thought that maybe, his words came out way too harshly than he thought, “I mean, we should talk in the morning when our minds are clear”, Jungkook offered you a smile as he went on to return your stare.

“Yeah, i agree”, you momentarily looked at him, “Good night, Jungkook”

You turned on your side with your back facing him and he didn’t try to let the still visible tension between you two bother him so much, deciding to himself that it’s better to just deal with it tomorrow in the morning as what you’ve agreed on.

“Good night, Y/N”, Jungkook turned to face the wall, closing his eyes as he slowly drifted off to sleep.

As the morning came, Jungkook ended up lying on his stomach with the side of his face pressed on top of his hand. The sunlight shining directly on his eyes made him knit his brows in his sleep as he tossed and turned over to try to avoid it but the light won’t certainly leave him alone as stubborn as it is.

Groaning, he begrudgingly fluttered his eyes open, squinting them until his eyes could fully adjust to the bright light. Honestly, Jungkook thought that you’ll be the first thing he’ll see this morning but he was puzzled to see instead the white shirt he was wearing last night, rather you were wearing last night to be neatly folded next to him.

Jungkook propped himself up on his elbows as he scanned the room to see that your green sweatshirt is not atop of his closet anymore or how your soaked white tennis shoes are also missing and he started to doubt himself if he had just too much to drink to imagine all of it but that clearly wasn’t the case when he saw your hair tie is still around his wrist.

Sighing, Jungkook let himself fall back down on the mattress as he squeezed his eyes shut only for him to open them again to stare at the ceiling that’s seemingly getting farther and farther away from him as he feels himself sinking down along with his heavy heart.

And just like that, you were gone.

Who would’ve known that winning first in Uno is this boring? More so when he’s stuck to watch the remaining eight players draw more and more cards, making the game seem endless. Bored as hell, Jungkook chose to just lay back on the couch, snacking on a bowl of peanuts as he eventually slowly lost focus, mind drifting particularly to that night.

What if he didn’t invite you over to his dorm? What if he didn’t confess? What if you never kissed him? What if the reason you left him in the morning is because your bus is scheduled to depart early? Or could you possibly intend to just leave him there with not a single word?

A month of no communication perfectly backs up his thoughts that you had indeed intended to leave him there and all these questions that still managed to plagued Jungkook’s mind are just a product of his wishful thinking.

Since then, he hasn’t heard from you and he didn’t try to bother reaching out too, unsure if you still consider him as a friend but you have obviously drawn the line ever since you left him that morning, making him guess that he’s now a stranger to you.

Although he can’t help but still cling to this little hope inside his mind and give you the benefit of the doubt that maybe, you haven’t totally cut your ties with him but that’s just proper bullshit.

It is what it is.

Sighing, Jungkook got his phone out of his pocket as he scrolled on it, not really in the mood to socialize anymore in Sunwoo’s Halloween Party. He would’ve gone home and left the party if he could but he carpooled on his way here with his friend, leaving him no choice but to stay and wait.

“I’ll just go outside”, Jungkook told his friend as he got up to make his way outside the backyard. Along the way, someone suddenly slung their arm around his shoulder just as he was about to open the sliding door.

“Jungkook!” said the man dressed in a Darth Vader costume.

“Oh Sunwoo”, Jungkook greeted him as soon as he removed his mask, greeting him in a hug.

“I’m glad you could make it”, Sunwoo smiled as he looked him up from head to toe, trying to make out his costume, “What are we wearing tonight?”

Jungkook let out a chuckle as he observed his costume, wondering if his silver chain mail shirt paired with an arm armor doesn’t give away that he’s clearly dressing up as a medieval knight or specifically, that he’s dressing up as Leonardo Dicaprio in the movie Romeo + Juliet, just like as you planned.

“Oh i’m dressing up as Leonardo Dicaprio’s Romeo character” he explained the costume you had forced him to buy and the only reason he’s wearing it is because it’ll be a waste of money if he’ll just let it gather dust in his closet.

“And where’s your Juliet?”

Maybe, it is a bad idea wearing this costume if he’s just going to be asked that question for the nth time tonight as he’s just making a complete fool out of himself or perhaps, pitiful more so.

“Well, i’m still looking for my Juliet” he smiled and hoped he’s not going to say that cringy reply anymore for tonight.

Sunwoo chuckled as he leaned closer to Jungkook, whispering, “In that case, you don’t have to look too hard.”

Jungkook knitted his brows at Sunwoo who just winked at him as he patted his shoulder before disappearing in the crowd to communicate more with the guests as the host he is. Nonetheless, he just shrugged it off as he got himself out in the backyard and took a breather away from the party he’s not really fond of at all.

Well, it’s rather peaceful and quiet out here except for the muffled music coming inside the house and he wished he would have come here sooner if he had only known that he’ll be having the backyard all to himself.

Jungkook sat himself down on the wooden garden swing and it enabled him to get a nice view of the perfect clear sky, surprising him even at the sight of the rare blue moon, prompting him to get his phone so he could capture the moon in all its glory.

Clicking his tongue against the roof of his mouth, Jungkook looked at the picture and he wished he could’ve brought his camera here to give the moon’s beauty justice but since that won’t do, he laid his head to the side to rest as he kept his gaze on the moon, not even noticing that he’s slowly being lulled to sleep by the swing.

“There you are”

Jungkook opened his eyes, surprised to see you staring down at him with a wide grin, chuckling even at how his eyes got bigger.

“I heard you’ve been looking for me”, you said as you rounded up the swing, taking the space next to Jungkook.

Rubbing his eyes, Jungkook sniggered in embarrassment as he pinched the bridge of his nose, “Did Sunwoo tell you that?”

“Well, he just said that there’s a medieval knight looking for his angel and I just knew it had to be you”, you chuckled.

“And how could you be so sure about that?” Jungkook raised his brow in a teasing manner.

“You’re Romeo and I’m Juliet. We planned this, remember?”, you said as your smile faltered after having said that, speaking more in a whisper, “I just didn’t know you’d still go through with it.”

Glancing at you, he gets to take in your costume for the very first time with your white dress that extends up to your knees, your little angel wings, and your hair tied up in a half ponytail with braids and wisps of hair falling at each side of your face.

He averted his eyes away the second you catched him looking, causing him to look back at the sky, pretending as if the blue moon were much more worthy of his attention although he’s confused or possibly intrigued to say the least as to why you’re talking so casually to him when he could still clearly remember that you don’t want to do anything about him anymore.

“How have you been?” he asked, choosing to talk casually as well if that’s what you want.

“Nothing much, really”, you shook your head but later snapped your fingers as if remembering something, “Oh! I actually got a perfect score on that Marxism essay.”

“Really? Congrats!”

“So i guess you have to treat me at Eomma’s huh?”

Jungkook stroked his chin, looking up as if he’s trying to remember, “Did I say that?”

“Don’t act like you didn’t say that” you laughed as you shoved him but quickly regretted it when he almost fell off the swing, causing you to grab his arm as you put your other hand to cover your mouth, stifling your laugh.

“Do you have a grudge on me or something?” Jungkook put his finger in the middle of your forehead, chuckling at how you closed your eyes and scrunched your face as you waited for the impact of his flickering finger.

Somehow, laughter ensued between the two of you and this weird sense of familiarity crept over him, putting a smile on his face that is until you spoke up.

“I’ve missed you”

Jungkook turned to look at his fiddling fingers on his lap as he bit on his lip to hold back himself from returning those words he has been wanting to say to you ever since he saw your face but he’s afraid he’ll end up hurting again.

“I love you, Jungkook”

Jungkook felt his heart twinge, not in excitement but in pain as he let out a chuckle that sounded albeit scornful.

“You can’t just say that and expect everything to be okay”, Jungkook said in a venomous tone, making the big elephant in the room much more obvious now.

“I know and I’m sorry i should’ve stayed for us to talk but...” you stopped, hesitating to continue your sentence.

“But what?”

You rapidly blinked your eyes as you try not to get too emotional, unsure if you should even lay out this information but Jungkook deserves to know why you had left him that morning even though it’ll hurt him more.

Letting out a deep breath, you closed your eyes before you could talk, “Minho called me that morning to meet up with me and i don’t know… i just ended up taking him back.”

Jungkook looked at you incredulously, finding it hard to believe at why you would take your cheating ex-boyfriend back and he felt himself getting furious that had him rolling his eyes at you.

“Minho cheated on you!” Jungkook raised his voice in anger as he twisted his body to face you.

“I know that I’m stupid, okay!? But he was willing to change and fix things up so i gave him a chance to redeem himself”

“Still, why would you take him back?”

You’re starting to get irritated with Jungkook’s questions that is outright making you look much more pathetic when you know that he doesn’t have to shove it in your face for you to acknowledge it but he’s pushing you to level with his anger and you’re afraid you can’t bite back your tongue anymore.

“It’s because I loved him and I knew that from the moment I found myself feeling guilty when I kissed you, wishing it was him instead of you”, you said only for you to widen your eyes as you cover your mouth in shock.

In that instant, Jungkook’s felt his anger subside into dejection, leaving him speechless and you knew that you had to act fast to explain to him that you’ve just said those words out of anger when you saw that he was about to hop off the swing.

“I didn’t mean to say that”, you held him back by grabbing his arm.

“Then you probably didn’t mean to say that you love me”, Jungkook hopped off as he walked in long strides to get back inside and be just out of here just like what he originally wanted.

“Jungkook, please just hear me out one last time” you pleaded desperately as you stood in front of him, blocking him from opening that sliding door.

“What more do you have to say?” Jungkook scorned.

“Me and Minho just lasted for a week before i called it quits-” you tried to deliver your point as fast as possible before he tries to get away one more time but Jungkook is just persistent to not listen at all although it’s not like you could blame him for being that way – you broke his heart after all.

“Aren’t you done breaking my heart? Is it too much to ask if i’d beg for you to spare me another one?”, Jungkook creased his brows in pain, “Look, I’ve had my heart broken too many times to get used to it but you – you’re like all of my past heartbreaks combined perhaps even worse.”

It was evident that you’re completely floored at his statement and Jungkook took the chance to sidestep you but you were quick to snap out of it as you stubbornly took a hold of his hand to drag him towards the middle of Sunwoo’s backyard.

“Jungkook, please just-”, you sighed as you let the tears you’ve been trying to hold back stream down your face, “Please just hear me out.”

Jungkook softened at the sight of you crying, wanting to wipe the tears off of your face but he reminded himself that he needed to stand his ground thus he crossed his arms as he waited for you to collect yourself and speak up.

“I broke up with Minho because I realized that he’s not going to change no matter how much i’ll ask him to but that’s not the only thing I fail to realize”, you wiped your tears as you shake off your nerves but the sound of your voice cracking gave you away, “I love you, Jungkook and i might’ve realized that a bit late but that doesn’t mean i love you any less.”

You cried even more as you try to push out all of the words you’ve kept inside onto the table, partially scared at how much you’re letting Jungkook know all of your raw emotions but you’re done letting your worries about love control you, not when it had caused a lot of damage not only to you but to Jungkook.

“I love you not because i owe to return it back but because you care so much for me and i can see it in the little things you do like when you rushed towards my building just because i was crying over a bad presentation i did or how you always check up on me whenever i tweet something cryptic even though most of the time I’m just frustrated over a game of Candy Crush”, you chuckled midway, remembering how you tweeted an ‘i give up’ and seconds later, Jungkook is up on your messages, asking how you are when in fact, you’re just ‘giving up’ because you can’t move on to the next level.

You sniffled as you smiled, standing closer to Jungkook to cup one side of his face onto your hand, looking at him intently with fondness written all over your eyes, “In all seriousness, I do love you because you taught and showed me what love is supposed to look like.”

Jungkook grabbed your hand off of his face as he also grabbed your other, enclosing them around with his hands, looking down at it as if he’s trying to contemplate first the whole thing which makes it more unnerving for you, wondering if you’ve come forward to lay your true feelings down perhaps a little bit too late.

“Y/N, I appreciate those words, I truly do but I hope you’re not just saying that because you see me as a rebound”, Jungkook laid out his concern as he let go of your hands.

“You’re not a rebound, Jungkook” you widen your eyes, taking his hands back in yours as you try to convince him to believe your words.

With a somber smile, Jungkook squeezed your hands, “Don’t expect me to be the only one picking up the pieces, you should also be able to do it for yourself and not just me. I need you to be able to say that again when you’re completely whole.”

“What are you trying to say? Have I already lost you?” you said as your lips quivered.

Jungkook shook his head, thumb swiping over your cheeks to wipe your tears, “Even though you’ve broken my heart, you won’t lose me and that won’t ever happen because i’d still love you with all of my pieces.”

Overwhelmed, you headed straight towards Jungkook’s arms, causing him to step back with the sudden force as you hugged him tightly, relieved to hear that you weren’t too late after all.

“I’m so sorry Jungkook for everything, really and I swear that I'll build myself up first” you whispered as happy tears still managed to flow.

Jungkook kissed the top of your head, glad to hear you’re willing to do the best thing for yourself. He figured that diving into this relationship right away will just cause harm for the both of you, considering you still have a lot of things to figure out for yourself. You just have to take things slowly until the both of you eventually get there.

“I guess we'd have to invite eomma to our wedding, hm?” Jungkook suggested as he looked down on you.

“Is that a proposal?” you chuckled as you wiped your tear stained cheeks, creating a space between you although you’ve still kept your arms around his shoulders.

“How about a promise?” Jungkook raised his pinky finger.

“A promise then,” you giggled as you wrapped your pinky against his while you pulled him in by the shoulders, sealing the deal officially with a chaste kiss and a smile on both of your faces as you enveloped each other once again in an embrace.

You stayed like that for a little while, swaying each other side to side as you try to bask in each other’s warmth full of contentment, knowing full too well that all of those heartbreaks and pains you went through is meant to lead you to this exact moment and that concludes the story of how two lonely hearts who have lost their way in love have finally found each other.

A/N: Hi! It’s been a while since I last posted but here you go hehe although i have to say that i’ll be writing in a much slower pace from now on since i’ve become really busy irl and there’s just a lot going on, mentally speaking. I’ll still post stories from time to time though not as regularly as I used to so please look forward to my other ones in the future :)

P.S.: This is for you, Onigiri.

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bibbawrites · 3 years

Text

Traditions - Charlie Gillespie & Owen Joyner x Reader

Request: none, just my submission for @cherrymaybank’s valentine’s day fic party :)

Word Count: 1054 words

Summary: your valentines day traditions get invaded by your two best friends but you’re not gonna complain about it

Warnings: underage drinking?

A/N: so this is my submission for the valentines day fic party, hopefully you guys like it, its just a little something i wrote last night while listening to today was a fairytale on repeat the relationship in this is technically platonic but can 100% be seen as more if you want it to be (and its implied that it is hehe ) ;) but yeah figured i’d just post this before i reread it too many times and decided i hate it enjoy!

Tag List: @happinessinthedarkesttimes @littlemissaddict @vicesvsvirtuesfanfic @headheartbellarke @lovesanimals @bartok-the-magnificent @juliefromaustralia @multi-universe21 @rangerelik @kaitieskidmore1

“Do you have plans tonight?” Charlie’s voice came from behind you, causing you to jump.

You spun around to find him and Owen, staring at you expectantly.

“No, why?” You questioned.

“It’s Valentine’s Day.” Owen said, giving you a look like it was obvious as to why they were asking.

“And?” You had never really been one to care for Valentine’s Day, hating the commercialism and how expensive candy got around that date.

“And we were wondering if you had plans. You know, some handsome mystery man to take you to dinner and buy you roses and kiss you when he drops you home.” Charlie pretended to swoon and Owen smacked him.

“Dude.” Owen groaned. You smiled slightly.

“Yeah, no. No handsome mystery man, no roses and definitely no kisses. Just me, a bottle of red wine and the movie Valentine’s Day.” You said. As much as you hated the day, you had a tradition to uphold.

Every year since it had been released you had watched Valentine’s Day, a tradition fueled purely by your love for Taylor Swift and your celebrity crush on Taylor Lautner. You knew the movie was cheesy but you couldn’t help but watch it every year. It was a tradition after all.

“Want company?” Owen asked, snapping you out of your thoughts.

“What, you two don’t have hot dates with pretty girls?” You teased.

“That depends, are you gonna say yes to letting us join you?” Charlie flirted. You smacked his arm lightly and he grinned cheekily at you.

“Fine. But one of you is ordering me takeout. And bring more wine, I don’t want to share mine. Be there at 7.”

And with that you spun around and walked away, leaving the two boys to high five behind you.

Exactly 7pm on the dot there was a knock on the door of your apartment.

You opened the door to find Owen and Charlie, flowers and wine in their hands and large grins on their faces.

“Wow, did hell freeze over? You two are actually on time.” You teased.

“Couldn’t keep our date waiting.” Owen grinned, handing you the bouquet of roses in his hands and you smiled softly at the sweet gesture, pressing a gentle kiss to his cheek.

“Thank you.” You said. Owen blushed slightly, stepping past you so that you could greet Charlie, who was waiting, two bottles of red wine in his hands. When you looked at him he lifted the bottles.

“I brought alcohol.” Charlie grinned. You laughed.

“Perfect way to my heart.” You joked, placing a kiss on his cheek too.

“Come on, let’s get settled and order some food, I’m starving.”

You lead them into your living room, the movie already loaded up on the TV, three wine glasses waiting on the coffee table.

“Figure out what we’re having for dinner, I’m gonna put these in a vase.” You told them, taking one of the wine bottles from Charlie to place in the fridge. They nodded, settling down on either end of your small couch.

You left them to discuss, entering your kitchen and finding a vase, filling it with water for the roses.

“Y/N, do you eat Chinese food?” Owen called. You nodded, before realising they couldn’t see you.

“Yeah.” You replied.

“Great, what do you want?” Owen’s voice came again.

“Sweet and Sour Chicken, and Fried Rice.” You said, re-entering the room. Owen nodded, pressing a few things on his phone.

“Okay it’s ordered. 25 minutes it says.” He informed you.

“Awesome, should we start the movie?” You suggested. The boys nodded. You sat down between them, on the edge of the couch to pour the three glasses of wine, offering one to each of them.

Once you all had a glass of wine you pressed play on the movie, before settling back into the couch, smiling to yourself when both boys leaned into you. You loved how affectionate the boys were, and you just knew this was going to be a great night.

Twenty five minutes later there was a knock at your door. You paused the movie, Charlie going to pay for and collect the food while you grabbed some paper plates from the kitchen to save washing up later on.

“Fancy.” Owen laughed when you brought the plates back into the room. You grinned.

“Only the best for our fancy date.” You teased. Charlie re-entered the room, your food in hand, and in no time at all you were all tucking into the food, the movie continuing to play as you ate.

“We should probably go, we have to be on set early tomorrow.” Owen said as the credits played, Today Was A Fairytale filling the room. You nodded, understanding.

The three of you stood up and you walked them to the door, waiting as they pulled their shoes back on.

“Thank you for this.” You spoke. “This was way better than watching it alone.”

“And way less pathetic.” Charlie joked.

“True.” You agreed. Charlie leaned in, pressing a soft kiss to your cheek before pulling away.

“Um, pretty sure that wasn’t in your plan.” You said. Charlie frowned.

“Remember earlier? A handsome mystery man taking me to dinner and buying me roses and kissing me when he drops me home?” You reminded him. “Owen brought me flowers, and you brought me dinner, so where’s my kiss?”

Both boys hesitated, not quite knowing what you expected from them. You rolled your eyes playfully.

“I’ll do it myself then.” You said, stepping towards Charlie and placing a quick kiss on his lips, before repeating your actions with Owen, blaming the wine in your system for your boldness.

“Doesn’t count, the handsome mystery man was supposed to kiss you.” Charlie spoke up after a moment, clearly regaining his confidence. Owen was still staring at you, wide eyed. Charlie took a step closer, leaning in to kiss you again but you pushed him away with a laugh.

“Nice try Gillespie.” You said and he grinned.

“Was worth a shot. Come on Owen.” He grabbed onto the blond boy’s shoulder, Owen startling slightly at the contact. You giggled slightly, watching as Charlie dragged Owen down the hallway.

And as they rounded the corner you shut the door with a grin.

Maybe Valentine’s Day wasn’t so bad after all.

#CherryValentinesFic #charlie gillespie #owen patrick joyner #owen joyner #owen joyner x reader #charlie gillespie x reader #reader insert #platonic kissing #chowen #chowen x reader

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madamewriterofwrongs · 3 years

Note

Sending you all my hugs 🥰🥰🥰😍 How about...Buddie having the time of their lives being absolute shit at arcade games.

I remember I asked for fluffy prompts the night my boss passed away. That was months ago but I did not forget. Thank you everyone who sent me prompts while I was processing some tough emotions.

911/Buddie

1v1 Co-op Matchmaking

Read on Ao3

“Are you sure this is the place?” Eddie tried to peer through one of the windows with the scratched off signage but the tinted glass made it impossible to see anything beyond vague shapes in evenly marked spaces.

“Absolutely.” Buck joined him in looking through the glass but seemed to be satisfied with what he saw there. “I found this place my first year in L.A.” He went on to explain as Eddie followed him to the blacked out double doors. “I promise you’re going to love it.”

As with most things in Eddie’s life, he had no choice but to follow his partner. He entered first, a blast of cool air hitting his face, bringing with it the scent of French fries and old pennies. Beyond the sound of whirs and buzzes was quiet chatter and the occasional exclamation of excitement or disappointment (usually accompanied by a string of barely recognizable curses – no doubt, due to the ‘No Swearing’ sign hanging on the cash register in the corner). All around him were a collection of game machines in nearly straight aisles reaching several rows down and across. Interspersed between the machines were tables and chairs with folded signs informing guests that food and drinks were not to be taken to the game machines.

“It’s an arcade.” Eddie dumbly informed his friend.

Buck stood beside him, chest puffed with pride as he examined the terrain. “One of the last in the city that hasn’t been overrun by hipsters.”

“So you’re saying you found this place before it was cool?” Eddie strolled towards the register knowing Buck would be glaring at him all the way. As predicted, Buck paid for both of them and converted twenty dollars into quarters for the two of them two split.

“Oh, this place is old school.” Eddie, once again, exclaimed the obvious while pocketing his share of the coins. “How did you find this place?” he asked as they wandered the aisles looking for their first game. “I didn’t think you would be old enough to remember ‘Ms. Pacman’.”

Buck bumped his shoulder with a playful gasp. “You are being so mean to me today.” He chided before falling more somber. “When I first moved here and started training, I needed a place to study. I had, like, six roommates so there was no way I could concentrate there. So, I wandered around looking for something a little less chaotic and I found this place.”

“And this place was quieter than your house?” Eddie hadn’t lived with roommates in a few years – not since his army days – but he couldn’t imagine one house being that overwhelming.

“No.” Buck rolled his eyes at Eddie’s internal monologue. “I ended up at the library a few blocks away. But I came here once or twice when I needed to get out of the house. Obviously, work keeps me pretty busy, but I like coming here from time to time.”

All of it made sense, but Eddie heard the softness in his friend’s tone, the way he spoke about this place as though it were something precious. He was being handed a gift and he would not turn it down.

“Thank you for sharing it with me.” When Buck looked up at his partner through long eyelashes (when did he start noticing Buck’s eyelashes?), Eddie felt goosebumps rise and wash down his body. Like awakening from a long nap, his limbs tingled and he felt every step as they continued their journey to find the perfect game.

It wasn’t the first time he felt that flash of lightning through his veins at the sight of his friend – he was a single man and his partner was very attractive – but it had been happening more often than he cared to admit. Noticing the little details of Buck’s appearance (his eyelashes, for example) was new. Feeling his heart beat faster and his skin burn with a desire he hadn’t felt in a long time…was less new. In fact, Eddie was nearly ready to put a label on the feelings stirring in his chest.

Last winter, when his sisters were visiting and the three siblings got to have a big family dinner with all the cousins and aunts and uncles, he’d spent a little too long talking about Buck. Or, maybe, Christopher had. Either way, Sophia managed to corner him in the kitchen after dessert had knocked out the majority of the children, and asked Eddie how long he’d been with Buck. Romantically. It was sometime after midnight (and a bottle of wine between the three of them) that Eddie finally admitted to both of his sisters that he had feelings for his best friend. Adriana had cooed and asked if Buck felt the same and, on some tipsy instinct, he’d answered “Yes.”

Of course, he didn’t know for certain – he’d never come out and said “Hey, Buck, I want to bend you over the railing and then grow old with you. What do you say?” – but he knew Buck. He knew Buck better than anyone (Maddie might give him a run for his money, but he’s fairly certain there’s a few stories Buck hasn’t told his sister about his time travelling the country). When that man loved, he loved with all his heart, and Eddie figured out a long time ago that Buck had given at least part of himself to the Diaz boys. Why not his heart?

So, yes, Eddie had a pretty good idea of how he felt, and was nearly certain that Buck felt the same way. And now, they were standing in an arcade – the location of which Buck hadn’t shared with anyone else in his life – occasionally making extended eye contact through the aisles. It wasn’t a matter of ‘if’. It was a matter of ‘when’.

So now, when not staring longingly into his friend’s eyes, Eddie scanned the names listed above each game. Some of the names were ones he recognized (‘Frogger’, ‘Pacman’, the aforementioned ‘Ms. Pacman’, ‘Centipede’). Others, were less familiar (‘Inferno’, ‘Dig Dug’, ‘1942’) and looked…confusing. His eye caught on a ‘Space Invaders’-looking game and he called his partner to his side.

“Want to be a member of the ‘Moon Patrol’?” He bumped Buck’s shoulder with the smile he reserved just for his friend, and dug for a quarter.

“Nope!” Buck declared as he retrieved his own quarter and inserted it into the appropriate slot, bumping Eddie out of the way so he could stand centered at the controls. “I call first game!”

Though he rolled his eyes in annoyance, Eddie took the loss as an opportunity to watch his partner work. He loved watching Buck work (nearly as much as he enjoyed working beside him). There were times when the man’s focus was hypnotizing. The firm set of his jaw, the piercing eyes that seemed unblinking, the way every part of his body tensed in concentration. He’d seen Buck excited, anxious, worried, panicked, even numb – when it came to the uncontrollable dangers of their job, they had been through a lot together. Every emotion showed Eddie how much his friend cared about his work.

This expression, however, was one he doubted many other members of the Los Angeles Fire Department had seen on the young firefighter. It was one Eddie had been privy to on more than one occasion when Christopher had brought over a particularly difficult puzzle or science question. He wasn’t sure he was ever meant to see it but he happened to be standing in the doorway after putting away leftovers from dinner and he’d seen it: the desire to win, the earnest focus, the eagerness and seriousness of his intent. The first time he saw, it was an accident. Every other time he rushed to finish his chores whenever he thought that face might emerge… that was less of an accident.

He was pulled from his fond musings by a minor key jingle and light-hearted groan of disappointment.

“Only got to Point Q on the Champion Course.” Buck exclaimed, throwing his hands in defeat.

Eddie couldn’t help himself – or at least, that’s what he told himself. His partner was too genuine. But that was one of his favourite things about the man. Where Eddie could usually keep his outward appearance neutral in the face of adversity (a skill he’d used nearly every day since joining the LAFD), Buck never shied away from letting his face show just exactly what was on his mind – even if he never said anything.

And so, Eddie laughed. Only a small chuckle, but his heart never felt so light as when he was with Buck. It was easy to see, however, that his laugh could be misconstrued as mocking. Perhaps it was both.

“Think you can do better?” The newly-defeated champion bowed and offered the center position to his friend and Eddie stepped into place with another fond eyeroll (he made a mental note to ask his optometrist if too many eyerolls could cause nerve damage).

All right, Eddie thought as he tried to get a handle on the controls, so it wasn’t as easy as he thought. The joystick was rigid and the control pad was sticky and the graphics were definitely from an era long-passed. If he hadn’t been raised with an infinite amount of patience (according to his aunt), he might have given up. As it was, he died before reaching the first checkpoint.

Buck’s laughter could not be interpreted as anything other than mocking, and he didn’t bother to hide it. “You are truly terrible.” He informed Eddie with a slap on the shoulder.

Though he knew he didn’t need an excuse, it was too easy to play when Buck was around. “I’m used to the console at home. Unlike some people, I don’t spend my time playing with technology from the Reagan-era.”

“Well then let me show you.” Before Eddie could properly interpret Buck’s offer, the man had come to stand behind him, chin hovering over his shoulder, arms palming his elbows and guiding him back towards the console. “One more round.” Buck declared, enthusiastically. At his prompting, Eddie gripped the joystick and placed his hands just above the cluster of buttons on his left side. The now-familiar starting music began and Eddie focused all of his energy into game before him. Every few moments, he heard Buck mutter a command or offer advice and he took it without question. The joystick was still rigid and the buttons were still sticky but together, they made it to the second checkpoint. And then the third. By the fourth, Eddie had all but forgotten the world around them. The only things that existed were Eddie, the game, and Buck’s voice in his ear. It was soothing, almost, to fall into that rhythm. So long as he navigated the bumpy terrain and dodged the alien invasion, nothing else mattered.

Until he missed jumping over a landmine and was blown to smithereens.

“Damn!” Buck’s voice was suddenly too close. The air around him electrified on an exhale and the heat of his chest warmed Eddie to his core. As quickly as the world had fallen away in Buck’s arms, it came rushing back, more vibrant and alive than before. Every sound of electronics whirring, Buck’s steady breathing, and people shouting – even the rumble of the cars outside the arcade – was amplified. Every smell of old metal, sweat, and smoke hidden under Buck’s aftershave was overwhelming. Every touch of his scratchy jeans, the clammy plastic in his hand, and the warm presence at his back, made Eddie close his eyes to shut out one of his senses. The only one left was taste.

Buck and Eddie had held each other plenty of times over the years. They were partners and friends who worked in close contact with one another. At the end of a hard day, in the middle of a daring rescue, at the beginning of a heated glance as they stood in front of a game machine. They had shaken hands, hugged tightly, gripped for dear life at the edge of a cliff, even bumped shoulders often enough that he had a Buck-shaped indent near his heart. But standing in this loose hold – the other man’s arms barely brushing his, his back pressed against the other’s front – Eddie had never felt the overwhelming urge to taste more fervently than he did in that moment.

He knew that Buck was an attractive man – he was repressed, he wasn’t dead – and though he’d been contemplating thinking about maybe working up to taking some next step, he hadn’t counted on standing in Buck’s arms and feeling his heart flutter like a school girl with a crush.

Upon slowly dragging his eyes to meet his friend’s Eddie found himself breathlessly overtaken by the sensation of hope. Buck’s eyes were bright and round (earnest, just as he’d known them to be) His eyelashes closed and opened slowly, seemingly disbelieving of his circumstance. If Eddie knew Buck as well as he hoped he did, then there was a question in his friend’s eyes that was begging to be asked. A question Eddie was more than happy to answer.

“We make a pretty good team.” He felt his own breath reverberate off of Buck’s cheek and it stuttered in time with his heart.

“I’ve always thought so.” Buck’s lips twitched with suppressing a smile.

Then, came the moment of truth. Eddie felt a brief flicker of panic as he took one last breath before diving in.

“What should we do about it?”

In reality, Buck only contemplated his response for a few seconds but for Eddie, the silence stretched for years – three years, in fact. He felt the world move in slow motion and within it, he watched as Buck’s face flicked with a thousand emotions: fear, anxiety, excitement, contentment, desire, hope, doubt; finally, he settled on quiet happiness.

“I think we need to find a game we can play together. As partners. What do you say?”

As if there were any other response, Eddie smiled at Buck. “Partners.”

The rest of their time at the arcade was locked away, inaccessible to even Eddie, who recalled nothing more than laughter and flirtatious eye contact as they made their way through the aisles of games. At the end of the night, Eddie would get down the block before turning back to Buck’s door. He would run a nervous hand through his hair while he knocked with the other, and waited for the answer. And then, he would blush as he asked if Buck wanted to go on a date with him tomorrow. Buck would blush harder and assure Eddie that he would happily attend, but warn that he no longer kissed on the first date.

But maybe on their second date tomorrow, he’d get lucky.

#911 on fox #911 fox #buddie #eddie diaz #evan buckley #buddie fic #911 fic #getting together #dorks in love #mutual pining #flirting over games #cj writes things #cj answers things #zeethebooknerd #love zee

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bbrandy2002 · 3 years

Text

Fool’s Rush In

Part 15

Book: The Royal Romance

Pairing: Liam x MC

Warnings: mild violence

Series Premise: With two weeks until Liam is to marry Madeleine – his pick during the social season – the guys throw him a bachelor party in Vegas. After a drunken night, he finds himself with more than he bargained for.

Thanks @burnsoslow for the beta read.

---------------

Supposedly, the more a person suffered in the name of love, the more it showed they really cared.

At least, that's what Riley thought.

After nightfall of this particular evening -- when she least expected it -- she never realized how much truth that belief held.

Or how much it would hurt to sacrifice the one person who made her believe she was worthy of love and saw who she really was on the inside.

Her dainty arm -- a delicate bronze in color, sleek, with a glittering red strap across one shoulder -- linked through the arm of the man she had grown to love more than life itself as they entered the palace ballroom. Working tirelessly over the last week to ensure everything went off without a hitch had taken its toll on her. All she could think about, as she shook hands and charmed dignitaries with a sparkle in those twinkling brown eyes, was how much sleep she planned to make up for after the ball ended.

This ball was to introduce the King and his new bride to the Cordonian court for the first time. A show of solidarity and, hopefully, strength. A way to establish that what happened in a tiny chapel 10,000 miles away weeks ago between two strangers wasn't a careless mistake, and that she could handle the duties bestowed on her as a common American woman.

Or at least pretend she could for now.

However, for the King and the "Jewel of His Heart" whom he escorted through the curious crowd of pretentious naysayers in extravagant gowns and tuxes, with their fake smiles and tedious posturing ...

It was nothing less than fate.

Riley was the key that unlocked that safe space deep inside Liam's heart that had been sheltered for so long, waiting for the perfect person to come along and open it. This was the place where he kept his most sacred feelings: a genuine love, never-ending laughter, joy, romance, ecstasy, and every dream he ever held for the future -- one he presumed would never exist in any form he longed for.

But she didn't just unlock it. Riley shattered it wide open, where everything came flooding out at once and consumed him like a raging wildfire.

And it was the most remarkable, intoxicating experience of his life.

Liam showed her off all evening as they mingled during their rounds, danced, and conversed with the variance of nobility. She was the sexiest woman in that room, and he'd dare say the looks of envy shot in his direction from high-class men as he proudly cavorted her around didn't bother him in the least. Not that that was her only quality -- far from it. There were so many things about Riley that were special. But he couldn't help feeling a sense of pride that she was all his.

And without question, he was all hers.

Seated at the head table, Riley swallowed a morsel of the veal medallion she wanted to be served for this occasion. When given a choice between fish and lamb, the fish never stood a chance. The memory of that smelly, god-awful lunch with Regina three weeks ago was not something her palate had forgiven her for yet. As wonderful and savory as this extravagant meal, covered in a light brown mushroom sauce and served with a side of broccoli rabe, was, it couldn't hold a candle to what she craved the most: a slice of white pizza from Carmine's back in Brooklyn.

Or a slab or two of the New Yorker.

With maybe some cheesecake.

Covered in chocolate.

And a sausage rice ball. A Frito pie smothered with sour cream. Definitely a rainbow bagel from The Bagel Store. Barbecue ribs and beans from the mom-and-pop diner hidden just off the strip in Vegas.

Of course, her grandma’s country fried steak with white gravy sounded delicious too.

For sure, a fried Twinkie like the one she ate at the New York State Fair in 2013.

"You've outdone yourself, sweetheart," Liam marveled while wiping at the corner of his mouth with a napkin. "The meal was delicious, and our guests appear to be enjoying themselves." The others seated at the table looked up, adding their compliments.

Still dreaming about a fat slice of New York-style pizza, Riley smiled graciously back at him, until she noticed the server refilling Liam’s glass with merlot, causing her to do a double-take.

Hot tears pooled in her eyes, and a heavy feeling of sadness swelled in her chest as she panicked. "I asked for the Pinot Noir. Not the merlot,” she rasped meekly. “You don't like merlot, Liam. And the Pinot Noir was from the 'C' place where Duke Hakim lives. He'll be so disappointed and think I'm slighting his duchy. They’ll all hate me forever and ... wait a minute." She trailed off as a realization hit her, and Riley quickly glanced down at her plate before scanning each of the dishes from those seated around her.

The anxiety intensified; she could no longer suppress the heartbroken sob that wailed out of her. "Where are all the potatoes? We were supposed to have the potatoes, Liam. They didn’t serve the potatoes. Now the whole night is completely ruined, and it’s all my fault. I'm such a failure as a queen, and you should just send me to the dungeon now and throw away the key. I apologize to all of you for my incompetence and the lack of potatoes with your meal." Riley’s red-hot face, full of tears, plunged into the palms of her hands, then quickly sprung back up as Liam hesitantly tried to place a hand on her shoulder. A strong urge to use the restroom ended her crying spell as if it never happened. “Oh, oh. I gotta pee so bad. I’ll be right back.” She gave a warm smile and excused herself as she pushed her chair back and scurried merrily toward the nearest restroom.

Liam, Regina, Leo, Maxwell, and Olivia watched with confusion as she happily took off, not knowing what to say or what to make of the sudden shift in her moods.

“What the hell was that?” Olivia scowled, her eyes fixed on Liam.

“Is she all right, dear?” a concerned Regina asked.

Liam scratched the back of his head, nearly at a loss for words. “I ... I don’t know. I’ve never seen her that upset … especially over potatoes.” He paused in thought. “She was a little on edge this morning. Still, she’s been working a lot on the preparations and everything else going on. It must have gotten to her.”

Maxwell shrugged. “Maybe she just finally snapped.”

Leo shook his head, swallowing a forkful of beef. “Or maybe she has the premenstrual syndrome.”

“Leo!” The group admonished.

“What?” Leo bit back, taking in each of their disappointed glares. “Don’t act like it’s not true. Trust me, when I have cramps and bloating, I can go from a happy little Leo to a Bertrand, just like that.” He snapped his fingers, following it up with a frown. “It ain’t pretty, you all.”

Maxwell looked across the table at Liam and agreed, “He has a point.”

Wanting to shed his skin and slither away, Liam pinched the bridge of his nose. “Can we not discuss something so personal and private, especially while several hundred people are dining around us?”

“I’m just saying, little brother, that you need to be understanding and gentle during this special time of your wife’s 'lady business.' You should speak softly and slowly to her because Shark Week messes with a girl's mind, man. Their brains short-circuit, and there’s nothing left up there but a couple of crickets and man-eating rattlesnakes. One second, you think she’s fine, but if you’re not careful, in the next second, you’ll find yourself with two venomous fangs rattling from your nut sack, dude. She will tear you apart and spit you out like a rabid dog. You can make it through these next few days, but only if you take my advice.”

“That is the single dumbest thing I’ve ever heard you say,” Olivia spat, boring her eyes into him. “And you’ve said a lot.” She turned to Liam, whose face was slightly pale and void of expression. “Don’t listen to his sexist drivel. Why you haven’t declared him insane yet is beyond me. You should have sent him away with that filthy hairball to Valtoria you had caged earlier.”

“IT WAS MONGO!” Leo erupted, causing the dishes on the table to clatter as he jumped to his feet and hovered over the redhead. Every head in the ballroom whipped around to see what was happening, and a deafening silence filled throughout. Even the orchestra stopped playing their classical tune.

A wide-eyed Regina smiled sheepishly as she glanced out at the quiet audience who were waiting to see what all the fuss was about. She thought fast before calling out, “We were just playing a little game of … 'It was Mongo.'” The former queen snatched Maxwell’s Sunset Rum punch from his hand, thrusting the drink up at her stepson, towering beside her, and instructed in a grandmotherly tone, “Be a good lad, Leo. You lost this round. It's time to chug-a-lug, my boy.” With his face burning, Liam slid down in his seat.

“Ooooo, I wanna go next.” Maxwell bounced excitedly while the guests resumed the festivities. "How do we play?"

“I think I want to go, too,” Liam replied, straightening back up before hurling his napkin on the table. “I’m going to go find Riley.”

-----------------

Riley exited the ladies' room, clutch in hand and a fresh dab of clear gloss gleaming on her pink lips. She stopped walking just as the door closed behind her and smiled with a look of surprise at seeing Liam leaning against the opposite wall. "What are you doing out here?"

He pushed himself off the wall, closing the distance between them and meeting her in the middle of the empty corridor. They wrapped their arms around each other, indulging in the warmth of their lovers' embrace. "Would you believe me if I told you I just missed you?" he answered, placing a tender kiss on her lips that skimmed lower to her jawline.

"I missed you, too," she moaned with each gentle pressure of his seductive lips, suckling and nibbling along the spot that trailed behind her ear that he knew drove her crazy. "But something tells me that's not the only reason you left the ballroom."

Their gazes met simultaneously. "Leo."

Riley chuckled softly. "Do I even want to know?"

Liam sighed, smoothing back a loose hair behind her ear. "You know my brother and his wonderful words of wisdom." There was no way in hell he would tell her what they really discussed after she left; he could only imagine her embarrassment. "Everyone was just a little worried about you, that's all."

"I didn't mean to scare everyone. I just wanted tonight to be perfect. Instead, so many things went wrong. I can only assume what the court thinks about me now." She lowered her gaze to the red carpeting where they stood. "I let you down."

"I don't want to ever hear you say that again. Riley, sweetheart, you can never let me down. Do you understand that?" Liam lifted her chin; her tentative eyes stared back at him for a moment before nodding. "Good. And just so you know, our guest are used to bombings, stabbings, kidnappings, shootings, and terror plots at most of my palace events --"

"Wait. What?"

" -- I assure you, just the fact alone, that none of that took place tonight, and they're all going to leave here soon -- alive -- will be huge for them. Not having potatoes with the meal or the right wine was the least of their worries. They will consider this night a success. And a testament to their new queen. You should, too. I'm so very proud of you."

"I have so many questions about everything you just said."

Liam smiled, caressing Riley's petal-soft cheeks and lowering his head to kiss her again. "All in due time, my love.”

Riley let out a deep, drawn-out yawn she lightly covered with her palm before stretching and rolling her neck. A couple of weeks' worth of planning and endless decisions had left heavy tension in her shoulders and overwhelming exhaustion like nothing she'd felt before. None of it went unnoticed by Liam, who placed his hands on her shoulders and gingerly kneaded the taut muscles.

"What do you say about heading back to our quarters, taking off all of your clothes, and I'll be up soon to massage this gorgeous body from head to toe? And hopefully, when I'm through, you'll massage parts of me, too … with any part of your body that you'd like." His lips curved into an inviting smile.

"Mmm, that's tempting," she purred, rubbing her hands over his ample chest. "But I can't just leave. It's the Queen's Ball. Without me, it's just ... The Ball." She chuckled, despite herself.

“Don’t you worry your pretty little panties over the ball. Just go upstairs and take them off. I’ll handle everything down here. Then … “ He squatted down to her eye level. “ … I’ll handle you.”

Her heart fluttered every time Liam spoke to her that way. The way he desired only her. She bit the corner of her lip teasingly. “I love you so much.”

Liam smiled. “You better. You’ve got one hell of a husband. I’d even venture to say you’re the luckiest woman on the whole damn planet right now.” Before Riley could respond to his jest, he put both of his hands on her cheeks to hold her head still and began placing playful, wet smooches all over her face, causing her to laugh riotously. After a few seconds of her squirming around and cackling at his antics, he paused to look at her. “You know I love you, too. Now go on up. I’ll be right behind you soon.”

With a pat to her backside, they went their separate ways.

---------

Liam returned to the ballroom, having offered to finish what little time was left without her. He would offer his apologies for her absence, but in reality, the King couldn’t have cared less what anyone there thought. Since his bachelor party weeks ago, he had grown from a man who had no choices to one who made his own. His marriage and relationship with Riley came first. Her wellbeing was the main priority -- to hell with anyone who had a problem with that.

As Riley placed a hand on the elegant wooden handrail of the grand staircase and took the first step up, her thoughts meandered to where she had been in her life one month ago and how vastly it had changed in such a short time. For the first time in years, she was happy, and it felt so good to be in that place where she could finally let go of the past and move on. Liam was a game-changer, and she was thoroughly convinced he was the only person on the planet who could have gotten her out of her own head and to this level of blissful existence.

Rounding the corner at the top of the stairs, she reached into her clutch to pull out the key card to her quarters, exhaustion slowing her strides. Shuffling past a row of closed office doors and framed artwork, she made her way to the residential wing.

The squeak of a door behind her and the click of heels drew her attention, causing her to stop and turn to see who was there.

The color drained from her face as Madeleine casually stepped out, her hands behind her back and a devious, unsettling grin cemented on her face.

It wasn't the fear that made Riley's heart pound with a sickening thud, but more shock than anything. No one had seen or spoken to the Countess since the confrontation in Las Vegas when she showed up unexpectedly after finding out Liam had married Riley the night prior.

Now, suddenly, there she was, as if out of nowhere, a gleam in her eye, looking all too pleased to have this run-in with Riley.

"A little dramatic, don't you think?" Riley scoffed, taking one step back the closer Madeleine approached. "What are you even doing here?"

"I'm not going to hurt you, if that's what you're worried about," she answered contemptuously. Her green eyes drifted to one of the cameras mantled at each end of the hallway. Riley placed a shaky hand over her stomach, letting out a low, relieved breath, hoping that was the truth. "Not physically, anyway."

"Well, that sounds promising," Riley replied sardonically. "Now, if you don't mind ..." She turned away, wanting nothing more than to escape this conversation and make it back to her quarters.

Madeleine reached out and grabbed the Queen by her elbow, pulling her back and harshly twisting her around so they were now face-to-face. "You're not going anywhere until I'm through with you," she hissed with an icy glare. "I told you I would make you regret what you've done."

Riley jerked her arm, trying to free herself. "Let go of my arm, Madeleine!"

"Not until you hear what I have to say."

"I'm not interested in anything you have to say! Now LET ME GO!" Riley hoped someone heard her yell or at least witnessed what was happening on the camera. Where the hell is security?

While continuing to struggle to free herself, she reached up with her free hand in an attempt to pry off Madeleine's bony fingers that were squeezing tight grooves around her elbow, her manicured nails digging deeper into Riley's skin. "You're hurting me. I said to let me go."

"Very well, then." The woman, who had twice lost her chance at the crown, released her firm grasp, knowing that the momentum would cause Riley to stumble back as soon as she let go.

Just as predicted, Riley planted a foot behind her for leverage before drawing her arm back as hard as she could, one last time. Her eyes grew wide, and she let out a sharp gasp that sounded well down the corridor. Riley sailed backward, tripping over herself and toppling to the ground. She finally landed with a hard blow on her backside, the rear of her head just inches from slamming to the floor.

A shockwave of pain coursed up Riley's spine from hitting so abruptly. Before she had a chance to respond or process what happened, Madeleine crouched down beside her, holding a DVD up and gaining Riley's attention.

The pain had morphed into a throbbing ache that was soon forgotten as the Queen stared quizzically at the object displayed in front of her like a grand prize.

"What is that?" her voice trembled.

"It's my ace in the hole," Madeleine stated, then wagged a finger. "Someone used to be a very naughty girl."

Furrowing her brows, Riley responded. "I don't know what you mean."

"You know precisely what I mean, but just in case, please allow me to refresh your memory," Madeleine smirked before rising to her feet and prancing around as if she were having the time of her life. "I did a little digging after my brief visit to Las Vegas and came across a man who knew you very, very well at one time. I made some calls. We exchanged e-mails, a transfer of money or two. And he was all too eager to accept my offer of payment for any dirt he could give me on you."

There was no point in asking "who" -- she already knew; the thought made her nauseous. Riley closed her eyes and muttered. "Tyler?"

"Yes," Madeleine beamed, " Your ex-husband. He had a lot to say about you."

"I'm sure he did. Does it even matter to you that he's a liar and a cheat -- not to mention greedy? He would make up anything if he thought he could profit off of it."

"Oh, it matters. Personally, I don't believe a damn thing he had to say. Honestly, Riley ... even someone like you could have done better than that slime."

Riley cringed in pain as she pushed herself off the floor and turned to her oppressor. "Just get to the point, Madeleine. Clearly, he gave you something you thought was valuable enough to use against me, so just spit it already."

Madeleine smiled, "How very astute of you. You're correct. He did." She held up the disc as Riley regarded it suspiciously. "On this disk are several hours of the two of you ... together. Very graphic, if I do say so myself." Riley's jaw dropped upon hearing those words as Madeleine continued, "Now don't worry. I only watched it long enough to make sure the video was legit --"

"Give me that!" Riley reached out to snatch the DVD, but Madeleine pulled it away just out of her grasp. A burning sensation filled inside her chest and spread across her face. "You're lying. I never made videos like that."

"Oh, I think you did," the blonde countered with a mirthful tone. "You just didn't know about it. Your ex admitted as much to me ... an asshole move, for sure. But nonetheless, I purchased the copy from him for a hefty sum. And ... well ... here we are now. You're more than welcome to take this disc and see for yourself; I have it downloaded as a backup, knowing you'd want proof."

At that moment, all Riley wanted was for Liam to walk down that corridor where she now stood, pick her up in his arms, whisk her away to safety, and tell her it was all a bad dream. Not that she did anything wrong -- she was married at one time to the man, presumably on the video, and would have been a consenting adult.

No, it was the fact that Tyler Brooks had taken intimate videos with her during their marriage, without her knowledge. Now Madeleine had possession of them.

God only knew what she planned to do with them, but Riley had a pretty good idea. "What do you want?" she whispered in defeat, afraid to hear the answer.

Madeleine grinned from ear-to-ear. "For you to leave Cordonia tonight and never return, or I release everything to the press."

Riley shook her head. "No. As much as I don't want anyone to see that video, I did nothing wrong, and I won't be blackmailed or intimidated by you so that you can get your grubby little paws on the crown."

"Is that so?" It wasn't a question so much as a remark meant to convey who was in control.

Maintaining her position, Riley raised a brow, refusing to give in.

Madeleine was far from giving up, though; she had manipulation in her blood. "Very well, then. I'll release the video in the morning. It should be interesting to see how the world reacts to yet another scandal by this monarchy. Their Queen plastered all over the internet again, except this time, uploaded on every porn site on the web.

"The news will run the story with your blurred-out silhouette in the background. Your father will see it, and his business will become a target.: Your friends. Family. Students. They'll all be inundated with your sexual proclivities. But the worst part will be the tribunal. The council will have no choice but to question Liam's decision-making abilities after not only squandering his pick of queen on some American nobody, but now one whose ass will be featured on the desktops of teenage boys across the world. It's a shame that he'll lose his reign, all because of you. Would you really do that to Liam? Do you genuinely believe you're worth all the trouble it will cause him?"

Riley froze. She knew Madeleine was taunting her with the people she cared about the most. The last thing she wanted was to embarrass each of them. But to possibly cause Liam to lose his legacy, his birthright, and the rulership of a country he loved so much? It was something she couldn't shake.

Staring blankly, twisting the bands of gold that belonged to Liam's mother, she couldn't get the question Madeleine just asked out of her mind: Did Riley believe she was worth the trouble it would cost him?

Nothing was damning on that video, aside from the fact that she never knew it existed. But she already had so much to prove; another video in the press' hand would tarnish Liam. Maybe the Countess of Fydelia was right: He would lose it all.

"Time is ticking," Madeleine reminded Riley as she tapped her watch. "What's it going to be?"

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#liam x mc #liam x riley #prince liam #king liam #the royal romance #trr #choices liam x mc #Fools Rush In #bbrandy2002

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