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#i have opinions and feelings about the light
tedious-waffle · 19 hours
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Like i dont wanna be rude, and im trying to not directly respond to anti bucktommy posts but like.
Yall can have your opinion while also not just like, willfully misreading a scene in the worst way possible??
Like i just saw a post of someone full ass saying that tommy was being a terrible person because in response to buck talking about his trauma with his father and father figures he… reciprocated?? Like you know, the normal thing people do in a conversation?? Like he acknowledges what buck says, they have flirty jokey banter, which buck responds to with a smile and laughter (this is key btw guys. YOU personally might not feel comfortable with a person saying or doing these things in your real life…. but the scenes not about you. Its about the fictional character buck who responds positively to it) And then tommy responds in kind about his traumas and buck is i guess a terrible person cause he makes a light hearted joke and im plies a daddy kink (which btw fr people acting like buck DIDNT start the daddy kink convo. He literally flirtatiously saying guess we both have daddy issues. And then doubles down and leadingly asks but you think I have daddy issues riiiiiiight. Like he wants tommy to say yes i think you have daddy issues, im glad you do, we are obviously talking about this in a kinky way)
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fishnapple · 14 hours
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CRYSTAL READING : Shine the light on your hidden fears and give them a hug.
This is a general reading meant for multiple people. Take only what resonates and leave out the rest.
Book a personal reading for you.
Reading for each group below :
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1. Strawberry quartz
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I keep seeing the troupe in movies and books about the pairing of an innocent child with a jaded, big grown-up who ended up travelling together through some fateful encounter, like the series Sweet tooth in Netflix (recommended)
Your outer appearance and the image that everyone sees may not fully reflects who you really are inside. This is a subconscious fear that you yourself not really aware of.
A fear of letting your vulnerable side, your childlike, innermost pure part of yourself out into the open. Some part deep within you yearns to let go, to be able to just exist without fear, worries and restrictions, to feel as one with people, to be soft and be taken care of. Somehow you find it’s hard to accept it, to act in that way would be considered as ‘weak’ by you. So you try to drown out that inner voice by speaking in a louder voice to the world.
In the eyes of the world, you show no trace of fear and insecurity. A confident, secured, friendly image. Your words hold weight, people listen to you but sometimes your communicating style would be perceived as rough and forceful. The repressed part in you would somehow find some ways to sneak out, to be expressed. If you ever have had some sudden emotional outbursts, some hurtful words blurted out unconsciously, take a deep breath and think carefully about what is the cause of it. Anything that is perceived as restriction coming from others would trigger a lash out, like a challenge to your unshakable confidence. Your inner-self has been already under so much restrictions by yourself, any outside force would just put more oil into the fire.
Just your acknowledgement of this part about yourself would help tremendously. Instead of always trying to be strong and powerful, being more open to the tender part of yourself would bring a wave of awareness to other people also. You have the potential to be a great teacher that can bring changes. You can show to others that sometimes it’s okay to be weak, it’s okay to just float, to feel lost sometimes. Let the child walks with you side by side, not fearfully hiding behind.
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2. Flourite
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The stone that represents you landed right on the center of the chart. Somehow whatever fear you are having, there is this part of you that is just immovable. The lesson is to always find the way back to that center place.
You have a very open aura that is warm like sunshine. Others could see your optimism clearly. You express what you believe in without reservation and judgment, the same is applied for other’s belief and opinions also. But then later on, you would sometimes have doubts about how would your way of living your life and your beliefs are perceived by other people.
You stay true to yourself. Your authenticity is shining, because it’s so visible, there are bound to be some clashes with others. Not everyone can agree with your way readily.
Your fear would be about saying something that is considered outlandish and then be judged harshly for it. Would your closed ones and people around you accept your authenticity with open arms? Would their affection decrease when they are not agreeing with you? Would you be considered weird if you speak the truth? Those would be some doubts that you have.
But there is something that you need to consider. Would a clash in opinions or the way you live really would bring estrangement? Of course, you will always be judged by someone. You can’t control other’s judgment, but not everyone is like that. Some will embrace your quirks lovingly. Maybe you can’t charm the mass, but there will be some crowds that will appreciate what you have to offer, your insights, your compassion, your generosity, your authenticity.
If you seek a sense of belonging in people, just find the right people for you. Know that differences don’t have to mean solitude.
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3. Amethyst
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So scattered and distant. I sense a fear of hopelessness, that life would one day becomes bleak and empty without meaning.
Loneliness and solitude.
Fear of having the loved ones going away, of having the love in your hands to offer but don't know whom to offer that love.
Fear of losing control of one's life, being pushed around by outside forces. That would be some twists of fate, sudden change and lost that make you feel helpless and can't act against them.
I get so many fears in this group, it feels so heavy, I wish you peace and love. I don't know your age but the energy feels young, a young heart having to pass a mission from the early days, have to endure so much and carry a burden on the mind so that the a resilient spirit can be forged. Imagine a story about a young one going on a quest to gather lost treasures and making friends along the journey, there would be both loss and joy. I think that the treasures that the main character, you, seeks and need to bring back home is your inner child, the guiding light within you. By having that light back, even when you travel alone in the dark, you won't feel lost and powerless.
In the face of confusion and loss, keeping a light and tender heart, talking with friends, making something, cook your favourite dish would help you feel more connected with life. Keep your faith in the joy of life, there is always something worth living for.
If you feel that life is moving too slowly for you and crave some changes, think very hard about what you really need from that change, maybe you have been holding that treasure all along.
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4. Citrine
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I'm seeing a Torii gate of Japan (image below) with the sun rising behind.
Venus stone is standing in front of it, small and distant. I feel a certain fear concerning learning, self-worth and life enjoyment.
There is a gate being open in front of you but you are afraid to cross over, the light of the sun is calling you but you are hesitant.
Is there anything you long to say or to learn but couldn't find the right time or opportunity for it ? Something you enjoy learning but fear that it would take so much time and works, that it would take you away from your safe and familiar environment.
This is the hurdle that you need to pass. Always keep the inspiration steady, follow it and don't look around, you will find you self passed the gate already.
You may have a fear of facing changes, big one, both with relationship with people and in your career, people's perception of you would change if you make some big changes.
This is a call to focus on finding more about what you want to learn, what you are taking in to form your own life's philosophy, finding the "meaning of life". It needn't be something grand, the meaning lies in each step you take.
You may find yourself becoming more interested in spirituality, being fascinated by other cultures. There would be some hidden force at play here, nudging you toward the gate.
Take one step at a time, you may find help and abundance along the way, with so much opportunities to connect and trading thoughts with new people.
*The Torii gate*
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5. Obsidian
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A kite is flying. There is some kind of fear concerning relationships. Once a relationship has taken off, you fear that it will be scrutinized and judged by everyone around you, maybe you even fear that it goes against the moral code of your society.
There is a desire to be free of restrictive rule and the fear of being overshadowed by some authority figure deep within you.
I sense a lot of overbearing and harsh energy around you. Maybe they come from your teacher, some kind of mentor, someone you look up to, a feminine figure close to you or someone in the role of a nurturer but their nurturing style is quite dominant and smothering. They may mean well but their words are sharp and cold that could deal a heavy blow to your sense of self worth and shaking your confidence. Making you stay behind them under the name of protection.
The message for you would be about finding your voice, be the authoritative voice for yourself, step out of the shadow. Especially in relationships. Whether it is romantic or platonic, relationships with families and authority, be aware of any imbalance in the power dynamic at play. Be mindful of the role as "helper", who is serving whom, who is getting served.
Maybe you would develop some kind of obsessive routines or perfectionism in how to carry out your job to counter-balance the feeling of passivity and the lack of freedom.
Having control of your daily life to strengthen your sense of autonomy, from the small decisions such as what to eat, when to sleep to big decisions like how to do your job, what habit and routine to practice and adopt.
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Love.
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corrodedbisexual · 1 day
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The original plushie
Steddie | G | ~4.1k | AO3 link
This fanart of Eddie sleeping with a bunch of stuffed toys by @baleful-blurbs infected my brain and refused to leave until this ridiculous fluffy thing got written 😭 Please make sure to reblog those wonderful sketches to support the artist who inspired the plushie silliness♥️
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Featuring: Tooth-Rotting Fluff, seriously beware of cavities, Light Angst, Plushies, Childhood Memories, POV Eddie Munson, Steve Harrington is a Sweetheart, Steve Harrington Has Bad Parents, Good Parent Wayne Munson, Requited Love, Cuddling, Getting Together, Boys In Love
The mortifying ordeal of Eddie's crush discovering his secret plushie cuddle nest turns out to be not so mortifying after all. Steve even starts borrowing said plushies to take back home with him; some time later, Eddie finds out why.
Snippet under the cut
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“Who’s this?” Steve asks, grinning as he pokes at the teddy’s ridiculous smiley face. 
“Oh. That’s… that’s Mr. Boogers.” Eddie huffs and rolls his eyes. “Please don’t ask.”
Still grinning, Steve turns to him. “Well, now you know I gotta.” 
Eddie groans, rubbing a hand across his flustered face, and figures he might as well tell the story now that he’s dug his own grave. “He was, uh… kinda defective from the start, there were some stitches loose around his nose and there was stuffing coming out of it, like… well…”
Steve giggles. “Boogers. Gotcha.” 
“Yeah. Wayne grumbled about it and wanted to ask for a different one, but I was already in love with this one and clung to him and refused to trade. Cos like, you know how plushies of the same type are supposed to be identical but they’re really not ? And one of them has that perfect face and the others just seem off?” 
Eddie blushes, thinking now would be the moment he finally gets ridiculed for being twenty years old and having strong opinions on plushie faces of all things, but Steve just smiles and nods.
“Yeah, I know exactly what you mean. I once spilled some gouache on a Mickey Mouse I owned and instead of washing him, mom just bought me a new one of the same series.” Steve sighs. “It was obvious 'cos his eyes were a little closer together and his smile wasn’t crooked to the left. I knew he wasn’t the same Mickey.” 
Again, Eddie’s heart aches for little Steve, like pretty much any time the boy reveals stories from his childhood in a tone too lighthearted for the words spoken, in Eddie’s opinion. Rich people really don’t value anything, huh. (With Steve being the obvious exception.)
“Yeah, see? You get it!” Eddie exclaims, pointing at Steve and putting more excitement into the words than he feels. Mostly, he just feels relieved and pleasantly surprised at how unexpectedly he and Steve managed to bond over their shared fondness for their childhood toys. “So anyway, Wayne relented and we took this funny guy home, my uncle patched him up, but the nickname stuck. Mr. Boogers. Boogie for short.”
Steve laughs again, but there’s nothing malicious about it as he looks back to the teddy in his lap and flicks his ear.
“Nice to meet you, Boogie,” he says with an affectionate smile that makes Eddie want to burrow his face into the mattress and giggle like an idiot. 
And maybe scream a little, because what the fuck. It should be illegal for your crush to talk cute to your goddamn childhood plushies.  
Whole fic on AO3
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zehiiro · 2 days
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What Daryl and Carol mean to each other
And why France may have been the best thing for Caryl
This idea has been sitting in my drafts for about six months, but now that we're only 9 days away from the Tribeca premiere, I finally decided to flesh it out and post it.
This post can be taken as part two of my previous one on what Carol means to Daryl [here], but it can also be read independently. And just as a disclaimer, this is just my understanding and opinions on Caryl and all the scenes I mention below. So grab a nice cup of your choice beverage and get comfy 'cause I had a lot to say, and this turned out to be a long one.
I want to start by pointing out some moments where Daryl and Carol got to enjoy each other's company and talk in peace.
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Yup, that's all of them... a long list of 4...
I didn't realise how rare these moments were until I started looking through season after season. Don't get me wrong; I know there are countless sweet and meaningful moments that they've shared both on screen and off screen (implied), but very few that we've seen without heartbreak, grief, or danger looming over them. And even the moments in the gifs above were still sandwiched between disasters.
I've read and received many questions, such as, "Why have we had to wait all these years and are having to continue to wait for Caryl to be canon?" and "If it was going to happen, it would have happened by now." and I feel like the above gifs answer all of that.
These two have endured unimaginable pain before and after the outbreak, and throughout it all, they have been each other's light, held each other together, helped each other heal from their past, and become the strongest versions of themselves.
However, they have never been allowed to be selfish, to take a moment to think about what they deserve, or to imagine the possibility of accepting the love they want and need; why? Because they have been so busy protecting and making sacrifices for everyone else.
For the past 13 years, they have been content as long as they have each other in their lives, accepting their current circumstances as long as the other seems happy. But during all that time, they also connected in more ways than they had realised.
The major connection I wanted to point out is that their lives depend on one another now (mutually inclusive). Whether knowingly or unknowingly, they are alive at this moment because of each other. I don't mean this just in a 'save their life when they're in danger' way but also as a 'I can't imagine my life existing beyond yours' and 'I can't distinguish between my life and yours' kind of way.
I briefly touched on this in one of my previous posts about Carol [here], and the show, in general, has been a lot more open with us regarding what Carol wants, but here are a couple of more nuanced instances from the later seasons where we see those feelings show from Daryl and Carol's perspectives:
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S10 EP3 Ghosts (Daryl)
The first scene I wanted to mentions is when Alpha confronts them about crossing her border. The moment she says, "You have to be punished," and the whisperers reach for their weapons, we see Daryl shifting on his feet as he prepares to move at a moment's notice.
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And as soon as Carol talks back to Alpha, calling her words "Bullshit", Daryl is already moving.
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He immediately places himself between them to shield Carol in case Alpha decides to attack her.
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Then, when Carol snaps and tries to shoot Alpha, Daryl grabs and takes complete hold of her.
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He's not just trying to stop her; he's using himself to shield every inch of her from any possible incoming assault from the whisperers.
Once Alpha allows them to leave, he grabs Carol and her bow and arrows without a second of hesitation (leaving behind his own crossbow) and immediately moves Carol away from the situation.
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Once again, when everyone is in danger all Daryl can think about is Carol, making sure she's safe and unharmed, with no concern for himself.
I also think it's so beautiful and important to point out here that while all Daryl could think about was shielding Carol, Michonne was also there trying to protect both of them ♡
~~~~~~~~
S10 EP3 Ghosts (Daryl) - Part 2
The second one I want to mention is later in the same episode when Daryl and Michonne rush Carol back to Alexandria/Siddiq for help after she cuts her arm open badly.
We first find Daryl holding onto a column outside to steady himself while he waits to find out if she's okay.
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When Siddiq comes out full of hesitation and can't find the words to answer Michone when she asks if Carol is okay, we see a look of pure fear on Daryl's face.
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He freezes; he's holding his breath and won't dare move or say anything because he feels like his whole reality is hanging by a thread, and in the moment, the smallest thing or whatever Siddiq is about to say next might make it all fall apart.
~~~~~~~~
S10 EP9 Squeeze (Daryl)
The third moment I wanted to mention is when Carol is hanging off the edge of a rock in the cave, risking her life just so she can try to destroy part of Alpha's horde, but Daryl finds her and is so confused and terrified by what she's doing.
He tries to tell her, to warn her that she's gonna get herself killed if she tries to go through with what she's planning.
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Look at how he flinches and instantly loses his breath when her hand slips a little... breaks my heart every time.
When she responds to him by saying, "She killed my boy", Daryl's fear is now also combined with desperation because he realised that he didn't need to warn her about the possibility of getting herself killed; he realised she knew the risk all along and was in such a low place that she was almost welcoming the consequences.
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What previously was a tone of alarm in Daryl's voice turns into a whisper, and he's now pleading with her. Without saying the actual words, he's begging her to choose to live again, even if it's just for him.
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S10 EP14 Look at the Flowers (Carol)
What Caryl wants is also kind of answered in 10x14, where Carol is having an internal confrontation with herself. Subconsciously, she has chosen and manifested Alpha (who is now dead) as the face and voice of the one confronting her.
Timestamp 19:10 - 20:15
When "Alpha" says to her:
"Being out on your own... you've tried it before. They always pull you back. Always wanting more. Love. Motherhood. Death. But they don't know what you truly want. Admit it. What do you want? Say it..."
Carol responded by saying :
"I want to be alone."
To which "Alpha" says:
"Yeah. That's not it."
So the question here is, if it's not love in general, motherhood, death, or being left alone, then what does Carol actually want?
It's important here to note that Carol already knows the answer to that question. She's only asking herself this question because she hasn't accepted it; she isn't being honest with herself yet.
Timestamp 33:15 - 35:20
While Carol is stuck under the rubble and can't get out as the walker is getting closer to her, "Alpha" taunts her by saying:
"Stop fighting. No matter what you do, you lose people. Sophia, Lizzie, Mika, Henry, Ezekiel... And if you go back, Daryl could be next."
To which Carol responds:
"I could never let that happen."
This internal confrontation with herself and the realization that even when everything else in her world is dark, just having Daryl and making sure he's okay is worth living for and fighting for and that it's not too late for her to start over. The acceptance that that's who/what she truly wants gives her the strength at that moment to fight again, dislocating her shoulder to get free and killing the walker that was about to reach her.
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S10 EP16 A Certain Doom (Daryl)
Looking back at 10x01 for a second, Carol asks Daryl to run away with her, but he says no and explains that life in tiny boat cabins is not for him. Then Carol presents the idea of running away on his bike instead, and he's much more enticed by his idea; however, by the end of the episode, they both agree that they can't because they still feel responsible for the people around them and making sure that they're safe against the threat from Alpha. 
Back to 10x16, after Carol went to lead the horde off the cliff, Daryl would have almost been expecting and terrified that she wouldn't come back, that she'd take this "out" and end her own pain in a permanent and self-sacrificial way like she's tried before, but this time, he wouldn't be there to beg her to come back to him and to save her. 
Once again, we find him leaning and steadying himself against a tree, preparing for the worst possible news or, as the episode's title suggests, a certain doom.
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And when he sees her again, he can't take his eyes off her.
He doesn't believe his eyes at first; he looks all over her to make sure she's not hurt, but when she speaks, asking him if he's good, he finally breathes again, letting out the breath he's been holding.
The community is safe (for now) since the horde has been dealt with, and his next immediate thought is, "You still got me" and "New Mexico is still out there." He immediately brings back the idea of running away together; why? Because he now knows that this time he got way too close to losing her forever and will not be risking that ever again. He's now ready to leave everything and everyone else he cares about behind, so he'll never risk losing her again. 
He loves her so much that, once again, all else comes second.
When he hugs her, he pulls her in tighter than ever before, making sure he's holding onto as much of her as possible because he needs to know that this is real, that he's actually holding her, that she's right there, unharmed and breathing, and not just a part of a dream of what he wants to see. 
I believe he forgives everything in that instant, including her actions that led to losing Connie, because his pain is not worth causing her any more of it. He will now carry that guilt for himself, taking as much of her burden as possible just to make living a little easier for her. Because he'd rather shoulder all the pain and guilt than lose her, and because he can live with the pain and guilt, but he can't live without her. 
~~~~~~~~
S11 EP24 Rest in Peace (Daryl & Carol)
I believe the events of the season 11 finale forced them to come to a new level of internal acceptance. Seeing the people around them lose the ones they love the most started a spark, and it started to force them to have those internal conversations.
The reality began to sink in for both of them that there had been too many close calls to keep denying themselves what they truly wanted, and It's now more true to them than ever that their tomorrow isn't guaranteed.
We all expected this to be the moment they went for what they'd wanted for so long, but we were wrong; their wounds were just too deep, and their instinct to self-sacrifice was once again too strong.
A year later, we see them once again dedicating their lives to helping others, Carol taking over Hornsby's job and helping put the commonwealth back together, and Daryl setting out to see what's left out there, hoping to find Rick and Michonne and bring them back to their family.
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TOWL S01 EP04 What We (Daryl & Carol) - A Parallel
There's a pretty important parallel that I'd like to point out as well. In episode 4 of TOWL, when Micheonne asks Rick what the CRM took from him, Rick responds to her by saying:
"When I got taken, I fought, and I fought, and not just by trying to get away, but by how I would dream. I'd meet up with Carl in my dreams. And that's how I survived in here. Kept me alive... But then I started dreaming of you [Michonne]... and it kept me going... I can't live without you. Without you, I die."
It's important here to note that Rick is speaking to his wife. When he was taken away and at his lowest, he survived because when he went to sleep, he dreamed about Carl (his son) and Michonne (his soulmate) and his happy memories with them.
So what does Daryl dream about when he's taken away and at his lowest? (TWD:DD S01 EP01)
He dreams about Judith (his surrogate daughter) and Carol (his soulmate).
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He dreams about Judith telling him that he deserves a happy ending too, and his very next thought is of Carol, seeing her again and being with her again because that's the happy ending he truly wants.
And what does Carol dream about when she's at her lowest in season 10?
She dreams about Henry (her adoptive son) and Daryl (her soulmate)
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She dreams about the life she's always wanted, a home, a family and a life with Daryl because that's the happy ending she truly wants.
Also, just a quick mention that even Michonne refers to Rick (her husband) as her friend when speaking to Virgil in TWD 10x08 (TS: 40:00 - 41:20)
~~~~~~~~
So why is TBOC going to be any different? And why was Daryl ending up in France the best thing that could have happened for Caryl?
Because they have finally reached a point where they almost believe they've lost the other, they have been forced to feel the dependence of their existence on the others.
They have never been truly separated before, not to this extent. And what to them was previously only a fear has now become a reality.
When they're reunited, it's going to be with a completely new perspective and total understanding of the extent of their need for one another, and the idea of just having one another in each other's lives will no longer even remotely come close to being sufficient.
I'll elaborate a little...
After all these years, we've seen them constantly save one another and be terrified of losing each other. But no matter what, nothing got them to the point where they felt they needed (more than anything) to confess to the other. So far, everything they have faced during the main show has been different shades of the same thing, and the urgency was never high enough to outweigh their self-doubt and insecurities.
What France has given us is a whole new level of steaks. Where we'll find them in season 2 is on the verge of believing that they'll never be able to see each other again; this, coupled with the fact that they don't even know if the other is even alive, and the fact that the distance and time apart has given them a true taste of how much they need the other, we now have the perfect and unique recipe for something that outweighs their self-doubts and insecurities.
It's the age-old idea of you don't know what you have until it's gone. The difference between:
Watching everyone around them lose the people they love most: they empathise with them, their heart breaks for them, they may even be devastated by that loss, and ultimately, it probably makes them cherish the ones they still have even more.
They, themselves, losing the person they love most: this is something that needs to be experienced to be understood. It's reality shifting, and the pain/loss outweighs anything else.
And now, after experiencing that loss for themselves, by some miracle, they're given another chance with that person... what a way to completely shift someone's priorities and ability to act past insecurities.
~~~~~~~~
To wrap up I wanna go back to Norman's words from the NYCC TBOC press conference:
"[Carol] feels something's wrong. They have that kind of bond, where there's a lot of unspoken things that are said... the bonds that we made in the flagship show are still very strong... [Carol] can take care of herself, of course... but the bond just keeps getting stronger and stronger..."
And David Zabel's words from his interview with Entertainment Weekly (interview link):
"The main focus of season 2 for me was always Daryl and Carol coming back together and what does that mean? And it becomes ultimately a story about how we as people can save each other. She's trying to find him, but in the process of telling that story: How are they ultimately getting to a place where they're kind of saving each other?...showing what's happening inside these characters as people in the most intimate personal way"
Daryl and Carol have loved and cared for each other so profoundly, especially when they couldn't love themselves, even to the point of sacrificing their own happiness to prioritise the others. If that is not the true meaning of soulmates, then I don't know what is. And we all know that some of the greatest loves are routed in the truest friendships.
~~~~~~~~
Thank you to everyone who read through this! I know it was an extra long one, and it could have been even longer, but I've decided to post their moments from 10C separately, as there's a lot more to break down there. I really enjoyed writing this, and I'm so happy/grateful that I have this platform to share these thoughts with you all. I'd love to know your thoughts on the things I've mentioned or missed ♡♡♡
As some of you already know, I'll be attending the Tribeca Premiere for TBOC in 9 days. After that, I'd like to write and share a spoiler-free-ish afterthought for this post, including what I've taken away from episode 1, what was said during the cast panel afterwards, and my thoughts on what's to come for Caryl. If anyone would like to be tagged when that's posted, please let me know.
I'll be posting a more detailed and spoilery analysis of Episode 1 once it's actually released.
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onceuponapuffin · 2 days
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Fanatic Intervention Part 15!!!
Okay, this is gonna be a long one, but I promise it's important. There was just a lot that I had to get in here. Also we had our first ever tie! So I chose between the two. Alright, let's do this. Enjoy!
Beginning || Previous || Next
*******************
The bar in question is rowdy and rustic. The crowd that has already gathered is loud, probably drunk, and honestly makes you wish you had some anxiety meds with you or something because the button in your pocket is a single thread holding you together when you could really do with a rope. You look over to Aziraphale, who’s grimacing at the scene. Oh good, so you’re not the only one who isn’t a fan of this place. You notice Crowley studying the bar – no doubt trying to get a sense for their selection.
“Over there,” Anathema shouts over the noise. You follow her pointing arm to see Sardis, already at a table and waving you over. Well, at least you definitely have a space to sit. That’s something.
The four of you approach Sardis who waves you into the seats around him with an enormous smile.
“Welcome!” He says grandly, “To my favourite place this side of town.”
“Your favourite place,” You repeat with skepticism, “Is a dive bar?”
“Oh not just any dive bar Little Moth,” Sardis winks as he speaks, “The best karaoke bar this side of the bayou. Personal opinion, of course. But I am an angel after all so feel free to take that as gospel.” He laughs loudly at his own joke. You chuckle uncertainly. Aziraphale shakes his head. Anathema rolls her eyes. Crowley looks like he could vomit. Basically, Sardis is the only one amused. Once he finally stops laughing, he looks around at you. “Such sour faces, my friends. But of course you have, I’ve forgotten my manners! Let me get you some drinks before the festivities start.”
“The festivities?” asks Aziraphale, “I’m sure you don’t mean...”
“The karaoke, of course!” Sardis smiles before leaving the table with a wink. “Be back in a sec!”
“I am not singing,” Crowley states firmly.
“Nor am I,” Aziraphale frowns.
“We may need to consider it,” Anathema says after a pause, “He has information that we need, and we may have to play his game to get it.”
“I mean, I don’t exactly…dislike him...but he's weird,” You, the dimensional traveler, observe.
“Oh absolutely weird,” agrees the witch.
“A very weird one indeed, yes,” affirms the angel of the Eastern Gate.
“Weird as all fuck,” confirms the demon.
Sardis returns carrying a tray with five drinks and lays it proudly on the table in front of them.
“Now, correct me if I’m wrong, but I took my best guess,” Sardis announces as he hands around the drinks, “Sherry for the angel, whiskey for the demon, margarita for the witch, and I played it safe and got you a sangria.” He lays the alcohol in front of each of you. You take a sip and holy crow is it ever delicious. “’S that good, Little Moth?” Sardis asks you as he takes his own seat. You nod, and his smile grows. “Good, glad to hear it.”
“Thank you kindly, Sardis,” Aziraphale ventures, taking a sip of his sherry, “Now, perhaps would you mind telling us what you know?”
Sardis laughs again. He laughs a lot, you notice. Probably having the time of his life with all of this.
“What I know is that I’m not saying anything about Jesus until you sign up and sing me a song.”
Honestly, you need to take a deep breath at that. The irritation is building. First he wouldn’t say anything until you came here, and now he won’t say anything until you sing for him. He keeps changing the goal posts on you. Anathema had said you might need to play his game to get information from him, but you honestly didn’t think it would feel so...condescending.
Anathema’s phone suddenly starts ringing. She pulls it out of her pocket, and you briefly notice the What’s App logo and Newt’s face lighting up the screen. After a brief apology, she excuses herself from the table and leaves the bar. Well. Lucky her. You sigh and stand.
“Yeah okay fine, I’ll be right back.”
“Where’re you going?” Crowley asks. His question has bite, but you’re sure it isn’t anger – he just doesn’t want everyone to end up leaving him with Sardis.
“I’m going to sign up,” You say, “Sing a song. Karaoke, right?” You look at Sardis, who nods appreciatively.
“There now! Little Moth gets it!”
Crowley and Aziraphale both gawk at you, but you’re already turning and beelining for the sign-up table.
Now here, dear Reader, let’s take a moment to talk about the Anxiety Loophole. In ordinary circumstances, you’d be lucky to talk to a crowd and sound normal about it (not to mention the possibility of nausea and such), but the Anxiety Loophole is a magical and gracious thing. In a situation where there is something that must be done, and everyone around you is too scared or embarrassed or anxious themselves to do it, suddenly it becomes possible for you. You may never dream of asking for your food to be sent back at a restaurant, but if your friend needs more ketchup and is too nervous to ask for it, you will put the chef in a headlock if you have to in order to get it for them. Or, say, if an angel and a demon have expressly stated their discomfort with singing in public, and another angel with vital information demands a performance before telling you said information, signing up for karaoke suddenly seems like a piece of cake. Besides, you figure, most of the people in the room are drunk. So you pick something easy, something loud, something most people here probably know already. That way, they’ll do most of the work for you, and then you’re singing with them, instead of for them. Are you a genius? Yes, yes you are. Take the praise, Reader, you’re going to want that confidence in a few minutes.
You return to the table, having put your name and song on the list, and take a seat (and a very large sip of your sangria).
“There,” You declare, “Now how about we talk about Jesus while we wait for my name to be called.”
“You’re not actually serious about this,” Crowley asks. You look to Sardis.
“I am if he is.”
Sardis’ eyes widen in surprise before he smiles again. “Oh, I most definitely like you, Little Moth.” He leans his chin on his hands. “Tell me, what has Metatron had to say about you?”
Oh good. You’re actually getting somewhere.
“Nothing good,” You admit with a frown, “He tried to turn me into salt once, and then trapped me in a bathroom and tried to manipulate me.”
Sardis hums and nods in affirmation. Then he turns to Crowley and Aziraphale.
“And tell me, what have the two of you done about that?” he asks them. The both of them practically jump in surprise.
“W-well,” Aziraphale starts and stops.
“Ngggk,” says Crowley.
“Well you see, it’s a bit more complicated than…”
“So nothing then,” Sardis concludes.
“Wait,” You say, “That’s not fair.”
“Have you given Little Moth any way to defend or protect themselves?”
“They don’t need to!” You all but shout, “They’re with me basically all the time!”
But Sardis doesn’t seem to hear you. He stares at the celestials with an offended glare. Neither Aziraphale or Crowley seem to know what to make of it, but he doesn’t give them much of a chance to before he reaches into his jacket pocket, pulls out a card, and hands it to you. You take it from him, worried that if you don’t he might get upset with Aziraphale and Crowley and really it’s the Metatron’s fault, not theirs. Put the blame in the right place. Your hands are starting to shake a little as you look at the card.
“Oh!” You exclaim, relaxing a little. Actually it’s not all that bad. It’s a punch card of sorts. It reminds you a little bit of Furfur’s card from the 1941 minisode, but instead of being a Miracle Blocker, it’s a Miracle Enabler numbered 1 to 12. You notice that each number is perforated – meant to be torn off so that you don’t need to carry around a hole punch. Clever, actually. You show it to Aziraphale and Crowley.
“Oh my,” says Aziraphale, “That really is clever. I’m rather embarrassed to admit that the idea never came to me.”
“Huh,” Crowley adds, helpfully.
“Yeah,” says Sardis, “You probably never had to think about things like, what if they ever turn off your miracles Up There. Probably helps that your only mention in the Bible isn’t about how shit you are.”
You look at the card thoughtfully for a minute. You think about all the genie questions you’ve seen online.
“Go on, Little Moth,” Sardis coos gently, “Try it out.”
You glance at him and then back at the card. Well he’s not giving you any hints about how this thing works, so probably best to just follow your instincts. After taking a second to think, you rip off the number 1 and make a wish.
The number has disappeared from your fingers and reappeared attached to the card.
“Oop,” Sardis says, “Looks like that didn’t go through. What were you trying to do?”
“I was trying to make it so that I could do miracles without the card.”
Sardis starts to laugh. “Oh you have a clever mind! I like the way you think!” His laughter continues for a moment before he calms himself, though you notice it takes him some time. Then he shakes his head.
“Listen,” he says to you, “Humans just can’t do miracles. For you to be able to do them without the card, you would have to change your entire species. And this little thing just isn’t built for that sort of miracle. Try again, something smaller this time.”
Your brow furrows in concentration as you stare back at the card. Something reasonable that wouldn’t need a big change in order to work. Oh, wait a minute. You rip off the number 1, and make a wish. Suddenly, you notice that you are holding a second Miracle Enabler, full up.
“There you go, Little Moth,” Sardis sighs approvingly, “Now that’s how you do it!” The first card goes in a place you can easily reach – your jeans pocket, perhaps. The second one you fold up and place in your sock. For emergencies.
“What did you mean about your mention in the Bible?” Aziraphale ventures, apparently sensing that he isn’t in trouble anymore. Sardis raises an eyebrow.
“Didn’t you read Revelation?” he asks.
“Well yes, of course,” Aziraphale replies, “But I don’t recall it saying you were...well...bad.”
“Shit, Angel,” corrects Crowley, “He said it calls him shit.”
“I know your deeds; you have a reputation of being alive, but you are dead,” Sardis quotes, “Wake up! Strengthen what remains and is about to die, for I have not found your deeds complete in the sight of my God. Remember, therefore, what you received and heard; obey it, and repent.” He shakes his head. “Does that sound like a glowing report to you? No, see, I invited that asshat John over for brunch one time, okay? ONE. He gets the runs, blames it on the bacon. Next thing I know, I’m getting hate mail, supposedly from Jesus, with passive aggressive notes about people who haven’t soiled their clothes. Yeah, no, I know exactly whose message that was.” He huffs angrily and sips his drink.
“So….” You interject cautiously, “You stayed down here because...oh, because Heaven endorsed it?”
“Enthusiastically,” he confirms, “I’m just a minor angel – ha, barely that. More of a guardian. They don’t care about me as much as the message.”
You nod, Gabriel’s trial coming to mind. It’s all about the message.
“We know all about that,” You say gently, “They threatened to erase Aziraphale’s name from the Book of Life. Well, anyone really, who uh, helped Gabriel escape judgment.” Sardis raises an eyebrow at that.
“Oh yeah? What did that bureaucratic ass do?”
“He fell in love with Beelzebub and said ‘Nah’ to Armageddon Part 2.”
“Psh, oh yeah, that’ll do it,” Sardis says, taking another sip, “Not that any of them could erase anyone. Not really. You need to know someone’s true name for that.”
“Hold up,” says Crowley, “The Book of Life isn’t actually real?”
“Oh, it is,” says Sardis, “I know it for a fact. You see, one of the things of being an Original Angel of the Church,” he says the title mockingly, you notice, “is that you end up with a gift. Something to give the worthy when they ascend. Mine happens to be knowing everyone’s true name.”
“Wait a minute, wait,” You say, “That’s...that’s...”
“I know,” Sardis says, “Look, it’s like this. Most books that you read, the words are 2-dimensional, right? The Book of Life sort of has more than 2 dimensions to it. And it records everything. Now look,” he takes a packet of coarse sugar, “This is a soul,” he opens it and pours the chunks onto the table, “Each soul can be different people throughout its existence, and the Book, for accuracy purposes, records your name in whatever life you're living,” he picks up one crystal, “on the first dimension,” he places it on top of the paper pouch, “and your true name on the dimensions that lie underneath.” He sits up triumphantly. “So before you can actually erase anyone you need to know their true name, and before you know that, you need to know how to read the Book, and before that you need the gift to be able to perceive the different dimensions.”
“Which you have,” Crowley concludes. Sardis nods.
“Which I have, yes. Unfortunately, I also have the misfortune of never being able to be anywhere near the Book of Life. So I’m basically the angelic equivalent of a dolphin who knows all the secrets of Super Mario. I know it, but fat lot of good it does me. Or will ever, for that matter.”
You’re about to say something else, but your name gets called to the stage.
Oh. Oh right.
Oh shit.
You walk up to the stage and take the microphone uncertainly as the intro music for Taylor Swift’s Shake it Off starts to play. You chose it because you know some of the actions to it and I mean, the lyrics are so simple that you’re hoping the drunk crowd will start singing along with you.
“I stay out too late,
Got nothing in my brain,
At least that’s what people say,
That’s what people say,”
A random drunk person in the back cheers.
“But I keep cruisin’
Can’t stop won’t stop movin’
It’s like I got this music in my mind sayin’
It’s gonna be alright”
The entire bar claps three times. Oh wow.
Basically, your plan works. They all can’t help but join in for the chorus, and you end up having a lot of fun with it. Their enthusiasm is so validating, and after a minute or two you don’t care if it’s because of the alcohol or if they actually think you’re good. You just sing the song and you have a fabulous time of it. Honestly, it's hard to have a bad time singing and dancing to that song. You forget about saving the world, you forget that Crowley and Aziraphale are watching you, everything just fades away for a few minutes except for the lyrics on the screen in front of you and the energy of the people in the bar. For a few minutes, you’re just having fun, and that’s the most important thing about this, dear Reader.
When the song is over you return to the table. Anathema is finally back, and you notice she’s finished her drink pretty quickly. Good thing you ate before coming. Sardis is clapping for you.
“That was excellent! Great job, Little Moth! Here, have another one on me.” He waves his hand and a second sangria appears IN A FISHBOWL. Oh...Aziraphale and Crowley better cover you later, a hangover while one world-saving duty would suck.
Anathema clears her throat.
“So,” she says, you notice her voice shakes a little. Probably because she downed that drink so fast. “About Jesus.”
“Ah yes,” sighs Sardis, “The prodigal son himself. Well, I will tell you that he is here, though not in this city. Came down in a plane and everything.”
“Ha!” You say, pointing triumphantly, “I told you!”
Sardis chuckles. “Yes, what a day that was. Landed in Los Angeles thirteen years ago.”
You nearly choke on your drink.
“Los Angeles,” says Aziraphale, “Well that’s awfully on the nose, isn’t it?”
“Wait a minute,” You say, “So he’s an adult then, right? Not a baby?” You’re hoping. Your fingers are crossed that maybe he arrived in the states when he was a toddler, or a small kid.
“Oh no, not a baby, but not an adult either,” confirms Sardis.
“Don’t say it,” You beg.
“What’s wrong?” Aziraphale asks. Crowley looks like he’s on alert. Even Anathema looks a little unsure what to make of you.
“Okay actually just say it,” You decide, “How old is he?”
“He’s thirteen.”
“Oh shit,” says Anathema.
“Is he at least one of the nice thirteen year-olds?” You ask hopefully.
“Well,” says Sardis, “He’s definitely white this time, and his family is rich so, what do you think.”
You drop your head into your hands.
“Um, I’m sorry,” Aziraphale interrupts, “But, ah, what exactly is the problem here?”
When, dear Reader, was the last time you were around a 13-year-old boy? The age when they are all about proving how masculine they are, the age when they like to play rough in places where they really shouldn’t be playing rough, be mean for no reason other than because it makes them feel like a badass, jump and hoot and holler and laugh at anyone with sense because they get a kick out of adults getting angry with them. There is no force more annoying or enraging than a 13 year old, of any gender. But now add privileged and spoiled to that and you have a force to be reckoned with. You briefly relay this to Aziraphale.
“So,” You conclude, “The person who we need to convince to save the world, the person who needs to take this seriously or everyone dies terribly, the person who we need to care, has all the makings of the one person who is the least likely to care on the entire planet.”
“Ugh,” Anathema groans, “Why did they have to do it like that? I thought Jesus was supposed to be all about the outsiders and being kind to each other and things.”
“Well,” suggests Aziraphale, “I suppose that was probably the first time around. This time, they’re probably a bit less concerned about the, ah, morality of the whole thing, and more concerned about the messiah bit.”
“Right,” Anathema says with a disillusioned sigh, “And the fastest and easiest way for anyone to become a messiah in this world is to be rich, white, and male.”
“Cutting corners, I believe humans would say,” concludes Aziraphale.
Sardis nods, a frown upon his face. The previously cheerful angel isn’t laughing anymore as he raises his glass and says “To the world.”
❤️ ❤️ ❤️ ❤️ 🖤
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spade-riddles · 1 day
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So Karlie has an interview for Elle magazine that I have conflicted feelings about. On the one hand, she ends it talking about the importance of heirloom pieces. Saying her husband bought her a Cartier watch for their wedding and one day she hopes to pass it on to their daughter, if she's lucky enough to have one. It would be stupid to pretend a potential surface reading of this isn't that she plans to stick it out in the lavender marriage with Jerk through a third child. I really don't want this to be the case, but I feel like they've teased us with the hope of it finally being over before, by going dark for weeks, only to suddenly show up again packing on the PR PDA. So . . . who knows. I've been burned too many times before not to be suspicious.
BUT.
If I'm being optimistic. An alternate reading is that the "husband" Karlie is referring to here is actually her wife. We've talked before about the symbolism of Cartier jewelry for these two, and the idea of Taylor gifting Karlie a Cartier watch on the day of her lavender "wedding" fits. Remember the "love locked down" locket during the Tayvin era? We speculated that was to represent Kaylor holding steadfast to each other during the lockdown of the Tayvin contract. Something they could draw strength from. Locket imagery then showed up in Taylor's lyrics, when talking about a secret love.
It makes sense to me that Taylor would repeat this and give Karlie a gift to hold onto during another tough time of romantic lockdown. And watches, clocks, etc have been a recurring theme in Taylor's lyrics since the lavender marriage, just like the locket was before. ("Our old spot by the gold clock" is an example that stands out especially. About a secret meeting place, with someone Taylor fears she keeps letting down. We never could quite figure that one out.) Taylor has also quite literally been wearing watches as jewelry for the TTPD era.
The way Karlie talks about this watch, I'm picturing a gold pocket watch, like in the Bejeweled music video. Fits for an heirloom, and would explain why we've never seen it. It would also explain why the gold compact mirrors keep recurring as imagery - maybe they're stand-ins for a look alike gold watch!
Also of note is that Karlie says she wants to pass this down to her daughter. It reads almost like it was a slip of the tongue? Like she then corrects herself by saying "I have two sons" and "maybe one day". I don't know. I just thought that moment was a little strange. You're pretty much the only blogger I know still on the train of "they had a daughter" and while I respect everyone's opinions on this and have no particular investment in it myself either way (they have kids and they're happy, that's all I need to know), it did seem like . . . in a certain light, you could read it as confirmation of this blog's theory. If we DO get news of a split soon, and this hypothetical third child with Jerk becomes impossible, then that's definitely the light I'll be reading those comments in. A little nod to the truth.
I guess only time will tell.
Thank you for this thorough review. I like your clock analysis. I read the article last night and had this exact same feeling about the daughter comment:
“It reads almost like it was a slip of the tongue? Like she then corrects herself by saying "I have two sons" and "maybe one day". I don't know. I just thought that moment was a little strange.”
Also, while it does imply she is still stunting, we do not know when the interview took place. I have no idea how long it takes from interview to articles published in those magazines. So trying to stay optimistic like you are.
Link to article
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aromanticbuck · 11 hours
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AITA for having a daddy kink?
I (32M) have been with my bf, T (45M) for a few months now, and besides the first date (if you remember my post about that, I'm so sorry for the secondhand embarrassment I caused everyone) everything is going really well! Or at least I thought so.
Last week, my boss (who's kind of like the dad I never had) (he's also my bf's old boss but that's not really relevant) was in the hospital after a cartel burned down his house. He's fine now. Made a full recovery. But T and I met up at my place after I left the hospital so we could have dinner. I finally made this new lasagna recipe just right after trying to figure it out for WEEKS and it was delicious.
We were talking about things while we ate, like we've done on all of our dates, and we started talking about my boss in the hospital. T even asked if I was okay, which is a little weird because I'm not the one who was in a fire or the emergency room, but it was sweet. He's really sweet. He's always checking in to make sure I'm okay and he's not doing anything that makes me uncomfortable, and that's really new, but good! Anyway, talking about my boss (and how he's kinda my dad) made T bring up his rough relationship with his own father, and one of his other old bosses, and I could tell it was a little uncomfortable.
Who likes to talk about their strained relationships with family? I know I don't. I always try to change the subject when anyone tries to talk about my parents with me. So I did that.
All I did was joke that we both have daddy issues - because we do, no matter what he says about it - and it's so easy to just talk to him, you know? So maybe I was a little flirty. Okay, I was a lot flirty, but I just wanted to make him smile because I don't like seeing the people I love upset. And maybe that fed into some innuendos. And maybe we kind of came to the conclusion that I really like calling him "daddy" in bed. I had a really good night after dinner. It was great.
And it was all great. This is the happiest I've been in a really long time. I don't think I've ever been this happy in a relationship, actually. It feels so light and easy and like he actually likes me, not some idea of me or the potential I have to be something else? That's something I'll unpack with my therapist later. Don't worry about it.
Anyway, things were great until I talked about it with my best friend, E (32M) - and I'm trying to take what he's said with a grain of salt, because he's going through a lot of major changes in his life right now, and he probably just wanted me to stop talking about my sex life, but still...
He said that because T made the comment while we were talking about our boss being in the hospital, he was just taking advantage of my childhood trauma to try out a kink. Because we were talking about something pretty serious, he never should have turned things in that direction - flirty and sexual - while I was worried and stressed, and he was totally brushing off how I was feeling in the moment. I thought it was fine in the moment, even fun, but E has known me for the last 6 years and has watched me get into and out of relationships that weren't always good for me, and now I'm worried that he's right and it's happening again. I really trust his opinion and I know he just wants to look out for me.
I guess I just don't know how to feel. I really like T, and he hasn't done anything to hurt me, and I'm happy. But E does see things from a different angle, maybe less biased than I do because I'm in the middle of it. I don't know who to trust more right now. I thought I was the one who made the conversation flirty and brought up the daddy issues to lighten the mood and make us smile more, but is my best friend right? Is T brushing off my feelings and sexualizing our relationship? Or is E just overly protective because I've been hurt in the past?
I guess this isn't really an AITA - Is He (T) The Asshole (IHTA) for joking about my daddy issues hopefully giving me a daddy kink, too, in the middle of a dinner date?
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prettylucifherr · 3 days
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I struggle a lot with feeling attractive/desirable because of my size and genuinely don't feel like anyone could fall in love with me or want to be intimate with me. And this is probably going to sound dumb, but thank you for, not only noticing us bigger boys, but also finding us worthy of your time and affection. It's sadly something you don't see very often, both in-person or online. It gets pretty discouraging and disheartening to never see fat bodies or people who look like you in a positive light. It really affects you mentally and emotionally, as much as you get told it shouldn't. But if anything, it makes things like your replies today, mean that much more.
Thank you for being someone who thinks we're worth getting to know, but mostly, thank you for being you. 💙
I am so sorry I didn’t reply sooner! I wanted to do my reply justice.
You are worthy, probably more than most. I am so sorry that you’ve been made to feel any less than you deserve. Because of your body? That’s messed up. The person you are inside, and the way you treat others, will always be the most attractive attribute to me. I can only imagine how these experiences have made you kinder, and more empathetic to others. Don’t let assholes ruin that beautiful heart of yours. Being soft, inside or out, is not a bad thing.
You are attractive, you’re desirable. Baby your body deserves to be worshipped, kissed, touched, caressed, loved. I hope that someone special sees all the wonderful things you have to offer, because I can bet they’ll think themselves lucky.
Never forget that you’re worthy. If you ever need reminding, let me know ♥️ I gotchu
Ps. I don’t think my opinion should mean shit to you, because you don’t need my validation to be worthy, but I hope me talking about my experiences has reassured you that there’s a horny lil slut out there who will not only love on you and date you, but also happily be intimate with you (and leave soaked messes all over your tummy🫶🏼)
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loserlvrss · 12 hours
Text
꒰ 𝐖𝐀𝐑𝐌 𝐎𝐍 𝐀 𝐂𝐎𝐋𝐃 𝐍𝐈𝐆𝐇𝐓 ꒱ 최종호
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summary : you had been having what seemed like the longest and worst shift, but once it was finally over everything got better
genre : fluff, jongho x afab!reader, slice of life tws : language, complaining, kissing, pet names, mentions of not eating (doesn’t have to do with a eating disorder) author notes : okay guys i gotta stop this fluff shit before i start actually going crazy dude word count : 0.8k
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your feet ached, and helping the customers were more taxing today than normal. you found yourself glancing at the clock anytime you got a chance to. you were counting down the minutes — since you punched in, truthfully — you couldn't wait for the shop to close.
it must've have been the month where the most people celebrate their birthdays because you swear it was busier than the holiday season.
you couldn't wait for the moment when you could close out the cash register and lock the glass door. you wanted so desperately to wash away the stress and put on your pajamas, curl up on your couch and distract yourself. you'd been so anxious the whole day that you skipped lunch, opting to hide for your break because you couldn't muster up enough strength within you to not go non-verbal. you could feel pain in your lower back, it getting more noticeable the more time in between customers. you, at least, wanted to sit down while you were slow, however there always seemed to be a task you needed to complete.
when you finally turned the lock, turning off the lights, and making your way to the back to gather your things, you found yourself checking your phone for notifications from your boyfriend.
jongho was supposed to be getting back from tour today, but you didn't have enough leisure time to check when he was landing. maybe that's why you felt like time had being moving in slow motion. but honestly, you wouldn't blame him for instantly going to bed, or dance practice. he was hardworking by nature, and that always inspired you to do your best despite being willed to do the opposite.
you knew him well enough to shoot you a quick message before his head hit the pillow though.
you pulled a grey hoodie — he had let you keep before leaving, per your request, wearing it over and over again so it smelled like him — over your head and slinging on your cross-body bag.
the outside air was crisp at almost nine at night, causing you to bunch the sleeves around your fingers as you locked the backdoor. you mentally prepared for the walk home, taking a deep breath.
usually, jongho would walk with you and stay over; of course, when he was available to. so, safe to say, you've been walking home alone for the past couple months — save for the few times your friends would show up with beer clutched within their hands.
of course, you were happy to see them, but it wasn't the same feeling you got when you saw him. he was comfort within a person; a living being you didn't physically posses, but emotionally. and, that was more than money could ever buy you.
"y/n," you swear you missed him so much that now you were hallucinating his voice, "y/n."
you blinked a couple times in disbelief of being face-to-face with your boyfriend, who has been away way too long, in your opinion. you almost had to do a double take, pinch yourself, maybe even slap yourself out of this dream state.
your head cocked to the side, and a chuckle rang through the air, "baby, don't make me wait any longer, please."
and you really didn't need to be told twice before you embodied usain bolt and jumped into his embrace. "w-when'd you get back?" you took him within your palms, kissing his face all over, "oh my gosh, i missed you so much. how was tour? i can't believe you're back, shit, this is the best ending to a bad day."
you rambled on about it being the best surprise ever, planting feather-light kisses to every inch of what you could reach. it might've overwhelmed him when you two first started dating, but it was something he now craved like air.
you made physical affection his love language. it’s like he was an addict, love being his fever and drug.
he unwrapped his arms from your waist, no longer holding you up to be face level, grabbing your cheeks and finally shutting you up by pressing his lips over yours almost desperately.
he knew you missed him, plainly spelled out through various texts and calls while he hid from his members. and he missed you just as much. he missed the lingering smell of your perfume, the melodic tune to your laugh, your soft skin and honest perfection. he missed your touch, your hand in his, body-to-body and heart-to-heart. he just missed your whole aura, simply put. you were the sun on a cloudy day, the voice of reason to his hardship, his warmth on a cold night.
you were everything. and, he only realized this the more time you spent apart because of his career. its safe to say that the heart does grow fonder with the distance.
“i missed you more, believe me.”
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reblogs, likes and comments are greatly appreciated! thank u!
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euryvices · 2 days
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after exclusively listening to rap music for almost three days, here are my thoughts (a beginners guide to the culture from a beginner herself) + a playlist of recs <3
if you start reading this, please please read till the end (and maybe reblog with suggestions as i'm still new here.) this is (maybe?) a guide for other people who are outside of the hiphop culture, but who still get affected by it and it's fluctuations. (tags at the end, playlist at the end, most of my thoughts at the end.) disclaimer - i have not slept or showered in the three days it took for the preparation of this, whatever it may become. this is all my adrenaline rush and black coffee talking. may my opinions piss you off. godspeed.
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hiphop, the term often interchangeably used with the term rap, is actually more than just rap and the inculcation of it. there are four elements to hiphop, which exists as a broadly classifying term for the culture inherited by the people of color who lived in a specific area of america, the bronx. they are :- rapping (or MCing), deejaying (or turntabling), grafitti paintings (or tagging) and b-boying (or break-dancing). But I believe there's a fifth element - the interpersonal connections formed with the knowledge transpired, as the legend DJ Afrika Bambaataa once stated.
before we get to the explanation of the last one though, let's talk about the first sub-culture - rap. rapping is the figure-head of hiphop culture, with more than 12.8% of people worldwide listening to rap. it's a subculture that's based in the bronx, but has travelled so far that today, there are indian rappers, slovakian rappers, etc.
nothing beats a good beat and soul-poetry, which is rap. (shoutout to the producers and the music arrangers who make the music pop. these are the people that are the backbone of the industry.)
coming to the part where i become opinionated : before we understand the culture, let's understand the types of people involved in hiphop culture, starting with the rappers.
the archetypes of rappers : 1. the zeus : this refers to the proud type of rapper, whose talent trumps their behavior, but in several instances fails to see the errors of their ways. rap is very competitive, but these rappers refuse to be humbled (jay-z did slowly find vulnerability after the birth of his daughter, but his legacy remains to be cool ego). they canonically have a lot of ego and have been put on a pedestal by their followers, who form a sacred sort of club around them. it's not even a bad thing, but from an outsiders perspective it can make them feel unreachable, or terrifying - like the lord of the skies, zeus. examples for this can be :
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2. the white flag : these rappers are honestly my favorite type. they have too much love and serenity to engage in rap beef*, and they continue spitting bars while finding the serenity of life in every thing. it could be because they value their own peace, or because other rappers know it would be curtains if they beefed with them. either way, they mostly stay unbothered and just...do what they love. some examples are :
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(*when i say beef here, its strictly restricted to diss tracks against other rappers)
3. the shakespeares : rappers that write like their hands are dipped in god's blood. these fine lyricists make rap what it is, make the genre what it is. they may also fall under another category, "the zealots" as their words stem from a place of anger, love, hatred, mutiny - strong feelings that invoke strong feelings. while some other rappers don't care about the lyrics (see, "the blue balls") these rappers are all about a message they need to bring to the table. some examples are :
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they are called lyrical rappers.
4. the rabid dogs : while the title of this archetype sounds rude, it's definitely not. these rappers are the ones that, while similar to "the shakespeares", write their own tracks but are also out for blood. they have looked into the light unblinking, and then gone for a coffee run. frankly, they terrify me and they should terrify you too - but the respect for them is unparalleled. they are the underdogs/rabid dogs/obstinate toothed rappers that fuel the competitive streak rap needs. some examples are :
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they are also called hardcore rappers. *
5. the zealots : these rappers were actually my first introduction to the genre. very similar to "the rabid dogs" and "the shakespeares", these rappers can sometimes be full of blood-lust, or sometimes write very soul moving pieces. it all depends on the day. they have a strong message they want the world to hear. and hear we do. "the zealots" often talk about growing pains and the impact their upbringing has had in their art. their hearts and souls contain what the rap movement embodies - freedom, and the quest for it. some examples are :
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they are also called conscious rappers.* some gangsta rap* also falls under this category.
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6. the blue balls : some people are good at conflicts, but others are definitely not. these are rappers that are good, but would not know how to release a diss track if the manual came and read itself aloud to them. they are the exact opposite of "the rabid dogs", whose tracks are native to their fighting spirit. these rappers on the other hand, release good tracks but cannot handle confrontation, especially when faced with an opponent who has better aim than them.* some examples are :
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(*this refers ONLY to specific instances of the rappers career and is not an overall view of their art. but if a rapper is unable to respond properly to any sort of confrontation, they don't get any of my respect and fall under this category)
7. the slammers : admittedly, when i'd heard the truth about specific rappers my father used to listen to, or my friends listen to, i'd recoil in shock. "the slammers" are the type of rappers that should be/are in jail for horrific crimes against the human condition. i don't mean of the small kind, such as possessing drugs, etc. etc, i mean truly terrible crimes. you can argue that "oh, separate the art from the artist" but with rap, a genre based on the culture and the self, can you really do that? personally, i don't believe it can be done, and no, this isn't an invitation to argue over the semantics. that being said, some of their music truly does hit, even though i wish they didn't.
don't even want to call them examples, but they are :
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8. the beat bottoms : i love these rappers within an inch of my soul. while a lot of conscious rap is based on knowledge of the self, these rappers are their antithesis. their music is all about the flow, how the vibes make you feel. lyrics aren't the main concern here, but that's all good - it's about providing your soul a reprieve from the more hard-hitting stuff. some of them even add autotune and make the music soothing. all in all, super catchy stuff. some examples are :
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they are also called melodic rappers. *
9. the artemis : stereotypically, rap (as far as i've consumed) has been dominated by men in the industry. this category of rapper refers to the women in the industry who either play by the rules, or break free of them. it's hard to beat a person at their years-of-patriarchal institution. it's also true that while some of these rappers do not essentially fit the bill of what good rap (to me) must be, there is no doubt that there's more need for women in the rap game. one of the first female rappers signed was only able to hit a minor success, despite the songs being gold. nowadays, we see an upward trend with women in rap, and female representation in the rap genre, but as far as i can see, there doesn't seem to be many women in the conscious stream of rap. some lovely examples are :
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10. the clowns : saving the most hated for last, this type of rapper is the kind that tends to lie. a lot. it could be about their ghostwriters, or their surgeries, or things in general. while some of their music is indisputably good, it is not as thought-provoking as "the shakespeares", nor as inspired as "the zealots". they have all the ego of the zeus" archetype and all the guts of "the bad bitches" archetype, but none of the talent behind it. however, the issue isn't the lack of deep lyrics, its the lying to the public eye, or actively harming the culture. these fodder rappers are necessary to create adversity in the movement. their main difference from "the blue balls" is in the fact that they are disingenuous & harmful. disappointments are :
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to summarize :
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now, what exactly are the different types of rap?
oldies : these are institutional hits, the types of songs that pop off even today. some of these raps deserve jail time for the way they absolutely slap.
grannies : rap that doesn't have substance, beat or...anything, really. these raps are (in my opinion) an absolute snooze fest. granny panties vibes. 10/10, would not recommend. if these raps were a hoop, i'd set the court on fire. there's nothing i hate more than uninspired, stupid music.
melodic : this kinda rap provides rest when you listen to a lot of conscious stuff, or if you're super into the sound and not the message this is right up your alley. melodic rappers are godsend, as they combine the two opposing worlds of fast-paced lyricism, and good, soul-soothing music.
hardcore : the people that rap hardcore are crazy. there, i said it. these raps are fast-paced, they are vicious, they are reminiscent of that feeling you get when you're in a coma and your heart speeds up cause someone put poison in your drip bag. it's my favorite type of rap, after conscious rap.
conscious : i love this kind of rap. it has meaning, it has soul. it looks into your house and tells you what's wrong and how to fix it. conscious rap has been the driving force of so much change, personally in my life, and overall in the dynamics of the movement.
mumble : personally, this is the type of rap i loathe the most. i get it, you love playboi carti, but i am a lyrical girlie. if i don't get the lyrics, i am prone to not particularly fucking with a song. no disrepect to carti, i love some of his work (as soon as genius comes out with the lyrics). as mother gothel said, "bitch stop mumbling"
chopper : think hardcore rap but doing bench presses on speed x2. sometimes i wonder if these chopper rappers have lungs or they can just perform osmosis through their skin.
drill : this is a relatively new type of rap that surfaced only in/around the 2000's. it's like if gangsta rap had a different type of flow, something i can't put a name to. some of this kinda rap makes me sick, some of this kinda rap makes me want to lock & pop.
whatever the fuck those uk dudes be doing : imma be very honest, i have no idea wtf any uk rappers are except central cee. after maybe sleeping for a day, and showering, im going to actively start listening to more uk rappers (probably). so far, i understand uk rap to be based off the jamaican immigrants style of rap, a few bands and also dance?
gangsta rap : this is the type of rap i cannot begin to comprehend as someone very, very alien to the gang culture of america. i can say though, that some of the records under this type of rap are goddamn terrifying and give me an adrenaline rush.
if you've read this far, you're probably wondering what exactly "the movement" is, that i've been referring to for more than half of this written blog. so let's go back in time.
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back in the '70's and 80's, block parties became a thing in america. in 1964, a historic act called the "Passage of Civil Rights" allowed african-american people to actually fight back in case of discrimination based on color. but, the seeds and stems of racism still existed at the time. black people, who had arrived onto america as slaves as you've probably read, were forced into the margins of society by the continuous hindrance they faced because of white people. they weren't even allowed into the same schools and given a level playing field in the first place! it was terrible, and wrong. and a lot of the children of that era found the inequality to be preposterous and as a result, they met up and started creating music, or dancing, or simply talking about it.
if you wonder why hiphop hadn't started before that, think about it. in a land like usa where white people and police used to be considered the upper echelons of right and justice, who used to target black americans and use them as scapegoats - do you really believe a bunch of black people before 1964 would feel safe enough to hangout publicly and just jam? it's another thing ofc that these pioneers didn't really care about that at the time and were more focused on getting their anger out - creating art from hate.
we've talked enough about the rappers and rap. now, let's go back to the tenets.
DJ Afrikaa Bambaataa, who was one of the most well-known DJ's of his time, said knowledge was one of the main pillars of hiphop, and I believe he's right. Almost every song I've heard thus far that absolutely embodies the culture is steeped in wisdom. the genre is essentially passed down from generation to generation. this creates interpersonal relationships in the rap industry that are like no other. ofc, gangs also create interpersonal relationships in the rap industry as the two are also intermixed, but i would like to idealistically believe that many rappers bond over the message they want to send out to the younger generations, the legacy they will leave. not to say that hiphop and rap were always about gangs. the origins of hiphop were to stop drug use and gang violence i believe, but as the movement changed so did the message. the power of rap went from the masses to the the people who controlled them, as does every other sphere in life.
but that doesn't mean rap has lost it's edge. it's very much a competitive field, with each rap artist trying to out-rap the other. the competition is what creates a forum to diversify ideas, maintain the standard of rap, ensure the best came out of every artist's work, and shine light upon the on-ground issues in america. but over the past few years we've seen a dynamic change. something even a newbie like me can pick up on.
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the mainstream has almost always been populated by white artists and white art. this is the case in every field of life, not just rap. while sugarhill rap gang did put rap in the mainstream in america, it wasn't until eminem came around that hiphop became a staple, an actual mainstream. he opened the doors for a whole new set of rap listeners - the white american majority.
it's not surprise that there are more white people in america than black people. 61.6% of people in america according to the 2020 census identified as white alone. rap, being a musical genre that is ethnically tied with the african-american community of america, did not obviously appeal to the white masses at first. but then, as the culture shifted and the doors to rap opened, there came about so many casual listeners that were white people. nothing wrong with that, until rappers started to cater to the white audience instead of doing their own thing.
i firmly believe you should never, EVER forsake your art for the sake of your audience. rap is about the ghettos. it is about people from marginalized sides of america and the struggles of it. it is not fodder for edgy teenage white boys who want to say the n-word while you rap it. if you're a white person, or a poc like me, or any slightly privileged person listening to rap, it's important to remember that this is not your culture. no matter what you do, even if you drown yourself in black paint and play into stereotypes, you will never be a part of the culture. you can aid the movement. you can donate to blm charities. you can relate to the songs. but you can never say that you are a black person. i can't believe i have to actively say this. but there are so many desi men who feel comfortable using the n-word in a derogatory way just because they are hidden behind a phone screen.
moreover, unless you share the life experiences of the people for whom rap is actually ABOUT, then you don't have the right to call yourself an actual rap artist. i'll say it again - rap and the african-american community in the u.s is intrinsically linked.
just like how indians have bollywood music/our own classical music, brazillians have samba, russians have kalinka, etc. etc, rap music is native TO black people. this is exactly why artists like drake, who not only used his blackness as a persona and refused to accept his white side, was taken down for his disingenuity.
an issue i find within rap though, is the hypersexualization of female bodies and how that affects female rappers. you don't see many mainstream conscious female rappers, because most female rappers have to sell their image via their sexuality. and overall, the treatment of women associated with rappers is questionable sometimes. as we progress as a society though, im hoping that all this will settle.
enough of my silly yapping though. here's a playlist. it's been arranged in the order of each artist showcased in this list, then the recommendations i got from this post, and then a few songs i just vibe with.
thank you for reading this post. for all the people that genuinely want to understand rap properly. im proud of you. understanding a genre not native to you is a different experience, but to see african-american culture - the strongholds of a community that has survived after some of the most horrific times, only through the power of their steadfastness and sense of community - you can't help but feel a swell of respect. maybe that's all we really need to understand.
thank you @staaapler, @need-a-name-101, @marblebees, @honeyppie, @thelazaruscomplex, @skullinahat, @salthat, @unihumanitia, @nicknova6, @stopitbahis and @samtalksmusic for the recs. im going to pass out
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whumper-at-heart · 23 hours
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my theories about Season 8 - rambling ahead!
so next season gonna start with a cold war between Bobby and gerass . two possibilities - either Bobby has to stay as a normal firefighter in the 118, or he won't be in 118 at all. I think the second one is the probable one. then we are gonna see Bobby talking with the chief, trying to convince him to come back, but I suppose the arguments against him would be something like ' You were in a coma two weeks ago, before that you were in a mental health breakdown, you're not fit to lead a team'. the chief is gonna be like 'im sorry, bobby I really wish you could be back , but you can't, but I'll tyr my best'. he will try because Bobby is 'the star captain of his star house' , yada yada. meanwhile, we get a episode of Gerrard being a gerrass and being an ass to the 118 while the 118 tries their best to be a pain in Gerrards ass in turn. For the first episode, the main focus will be about the firehouse dynamics and i think personal stories, like eddies and hens, will be out on the back burner for a while.
they also responded to calls, like 3 times this season so I'm pretty sure we are getting more Firehouse and call scenes next season.
I also think Buck and Tommy will break up before the finale. unpopular opinion, I know, and i have nothing against Tevan, but the way this is going, I think this is highly probable.
no comments on buddie .
anyway back to bobby and Gerrard, we might get 1 or 2 episodes of him . after a cold war with a lot of interventions arguments, and appeals, at the end of an episode we will see bobby reinstated as the captain.
personally, this feels similar to Lone stars long arc about the firehouse shutting down, TK and Bobby both being in a coma, and the house divided, just feels like Tim minear may pull out a Lone Star ripoff. I hope he doesn't because I hated that arc.
after this arc , they will get back to mara , chris , and bathena living situation .
we will see hen fighting against the councilwoman and Mara will be back to the Wilsons by episode 5 or 6, I think.
chris storyline will take longer to resolve, with Eddie going to therapy and Chris slowly coping and I think and hope we will see him back by the end. we may also see some Texas scenes, who knows.
bathena will get a new house and we may get to see them restart a new life, and I really do hope the new house will be as nice as the old one. '
I have a feel we may see more of the arson-cartel drama, like the arc of Jeffrey Hudson that happened in two seasons because I have a feeling that they didn't give an ending to that story.
we may see amir again .
all of the loose plots from this season should be tied up by 5 to 6 episodes and then we will see new dramas and plots come up. after the drama of this season, I think we will get some light-hearted episodes too.
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luffyvace · 1 day
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There’s gonna be a new op series called character remix!!
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this is so exciting and cool!
here’s my thoughts and take on it 💌💗
so if you haven’t heard it’s basically where we’ll get to view all the strawhats pov before they met Luffy, instead of picking up on they’re life where Luffy met them since the anime is in his pov. They’ll be going in chronological order and the first 2 volumes will come out July 4th. Starting with Luffy I believe, in stead of flashbacks like marineford we’ll get the full thing! :) yippie! Also! There’s gonna be 580 pages per volume! That’ll totally be packed with info right?! 🎉
starting with who I’m most curious about:
Robin: 📖📚
she’s first because most backstories are straight to the point in flashbacks but for me it just feels like it happened really quickly. Personal opinion. Also! We got to see that she likes books but we mostly saw her pain. The only thing to have ever made her happy as a child was books, Saul and the researchers. Therefore we didn’t get a chance to learn much about little robin! Would she like dolls if she had to opportunity to get one? Or building blocks? If she wasn’t neglected would she have been a louder person naturally? You never know because how you grow up can mold you, so if you’re in a survival mode from such a young age you don’t get much time to focus on your personality! Which is why I like Robin’s “saying creepy things” gag, it lets me know she’d be a bit of a weirdo! But it can also stem from hardly having any light in her life- also fact that she’s straightforward about it shows some of her personality as well!
Zoro: ⚔️🗡️
this guy’s past is definitely gonna be good! We seriously didn’t get to see anything about him at all! We don’t know what he like’s personally, and yes training and such, but what about silly little adventures?! He lost Kuina which is a part of big part of darkness in his life, but we still don’t know Zoro on a deep level. Really it’s just gonna be interesting to see what the volume has to offer! :)
Franky: 🤖🦾
this!!! This guy! Nobody talks about how little we know of him! It’s like Zoro, we only know what he’s good at! We only know he likes to build! But we don’t know any habits or hobbies he could’ve tried to pick up that didn’t stick, we didn’t see him evolve and grow! Franky and Robin are in their 30s! We don’t even know what they were like in their 20s! Especially not franky!! I’m really pumped to see what he’ll be like from the flashback up til when he meets Luffy, a weirdo that’s for sure. It’d be fun to see the franky family funny moments too!
Brook: ☠️🏴‍☠️
Dude. No one talks about the fact that his flashback started when he was already an adult!! The only reason we know what he looks like as a child is because Oda drew it! Obviously he was playing music back then as well, but all the strawhats ambitions started when they were a kid! That’s not enough info! We don’t know his parents, hometown, anything! We don’t even know why he loves music! I mean we do, but not really we’re it stems from directly, was his parents out of the picture? Were they there but didn’t care so music was all he had? Were they struggling financially? Did he raise himself? What?!
Nami: 🍊🧡
again! All we know is her dream, not her personally! The most we know is why she loves money! And that was shown in the flashback! We also know she wasn’t financially stable, but what about the day to day life? Did the tangerine sales pick up in the summer? Why weren’t they selling good? Couldn’t they have gone to all the neighboring towns to sell them? How did Bellmere break the news that they weren’t a biological family when Nami was of age? Did she always figure and it was an unspoken thing? Or did Nami cry when she found out? We don’t know!
Sanji: 🧑‍🍳🥘
ngl he would be higher on the list if I watch whole cake but I’m only on Zou 😁 anyway, the article I read to find out the series was coming out mentioned the fact that we don’t know exactly when and how Zeff met, which is a good point!! I’m interested in how that went down too! It pretty much just slipped over that during the flashback, did Sanji escape? Did Zeff take him in welcoming or did Sanji have to fight to get in? Did Zeff help break in out? Now keep in mind I haven’t watch Whole cake so if these questions have been answered I don’t know yet. Anyway that’s my take on it, but one more thing. I feel we’ll get a deeper sense of why Sanji loves to cook. And if there’s anything else he likes besides that!
Chopper: 🦌
I wanna see his day to day life! And also funny moments bc IK they’re there. Also to see him study more! Honestly just more background for this little cutie is all I want. Maybe he should be lower on this list….idk? I really wanna see his tho..
Usopp: 🤥
he’s also lower bc i feel they did a good job showing us enough of Usopp’s background. They got the point across real well, but I would like to see more Usopp pirate crew adventures tho!
Luffy: 🧑‍🌾
Lol the emoji is supposed to be a strawhat. Anyway I LOVE Luffy which makes it odd that he’s so low on this list, but he gets lots of screen time, I feel he also got the longest and most detailed backstory. They did a real good job covering most things, I’d honestly just want to see more adventures and they years between 14-17 bc they timeskiped it lol. Itd be fun to see teen Luffy and Ace interact more, since they’re not little kids anymore. Like arguments about who’s gonna be taller, hobbies they might’ve picked up, talking about what they’re gonna name they pirate crews, sneaking into Goa kingdom together and going through another man’s trash to find they’re own treasure. So I guess I might wanna see his more than I thought! Anywho!
🌷🏴‍☠️
-Brook
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oh-shtars · 2 days
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Personal opinion but:
I’m confused.
The movie describes the wishes to be the most purest and wonderful part of a person’s heart. As said by Magnifico himself and everyone else’s obsession with them.
But in “Welcome to Rosas,” is it just me? Or are the supposed ‘grandest desires and greatest creations’ feel so underwhelming?
One guy’s greatest wish from the core of his heart is….to have long hair? I guess he could’ve grown it himself but with the way Asha sang it, it’s kinda implied he wished for it? Wait. So each citizen can only have one wish granted with a very slim chance of granting it and….he chose….to have long hair??
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“Dance on beat,” and “Go to outer space” aren’t very impressive scenes either. And once we go inside the City of Rosas, there’s no special lighting to emphasise the wonder and magic in a kingdom with a SORCERER KING who has supposedly granted MANY of those wonderful wishes.
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If the movie wants us to see how precious wishes really are, then why show the most mundane ones? I’m sorry, but I can’t really take those wish bubbles seriously if this was the best I’ve been shown of those that are granted.
Wdym Asha? All the marvellous wonders made possible by your very special king and the ones you’ve shown us can be easily achieved with just a bit of effort? (Drumming, Those high walking sticks, Gardening, Baking etc.)
It doesn’t make the kingdom feel special, it just gives off the expression that the people there are just lazy to do stuff by themselves.
What about the ones who came here because the world has cruelly crushed their hopes and they felt like they have no other option? Maybe expand on that? What about show more reasons why people from all over the world are bothered to sail all the way here? No one just travels miles away just to have that ONE ONLY WISH of being the best at juggling to come true.
Shouldn’t it be a little more busy inside with people making the most of the wishes they’ve been waiting for presumably years to get? Everyone just casually walking in the background in a song singing about how awesome Rosas is to live in just doesn’t feel like a fitting vibe.
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Yes, they don’t have to be very excited and happy everyday of their lives there but, it’s the day of the monthly Wishing ceremony? I would’ve thought people would be more excited and chattering on that day on who the lucky person would be. Maybe even do some small decorating around to celebrate?
If this was an intentional choice with only the mundane wishes being granted and all the flat colours for symbolism reasons, this I would let slide. That would’ve been interesting.
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But even in the end, it doesn’t change as much? Everyone’s still their happy casual selves and the same cool colours. Plus, no one was shown to be discontent or disappointed at all that they’ve been fooled. (Or whatever the film wants us to believe-) The whole “Magnifico being a liar all along” would’ve hit harder for those poor souls who came all the way to Rosas just to find out it’s all just for false hope.
But hey, what do I know better anyway?
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thursdayinspace · 3 days
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Tell me all your Requiem thoughts please
All of them would amount to quite an essay because I have a lot of (mostly positive) feelings about it, but I assume this is about my tags saying I have conflicting feelings about the scene in that motel room bed where Mulder tells Scully that there has to be an end and that she should go home. So I will happily talk about that!
I want to preface this by saying that I absolutely love their dynamic throughout the episode. And I love that moment when she comes to him feeling sick and he lays down on the bed with her and holds her and tells her there's more for her, that he wants her to have more. He wants her to be happy. There is so much love between them there, and it's so strong and so gentle at the same time, it's one of the most moving and beautiful moments between them without a doubt and I love it and it never fails to make me cry.
But. I still have very ambivalent feelings about the whole arc with Scully wanting to be a mother. NOT with the motel room scene (I love that one), but specifically with the arc. These feelings have nothing to do with the show or the characters specifically, and it's not an issue I had with it when it aired, but rather something that's only begun bothering me recently. I just sometimes wish that they hadn't introduced it at all, or done it better. For the simple reason that not all women want to be mothers, or they decide against it for other reasons -- like feeling passionate about their work and making that their priority, which is a perfectly valid reason to decide against something you might want very badly otherwise. And sometimes it doesn't sit quite right with me, especially in light of CC's general take on women, that eventually Scully simply has to want to have a child. I may be wrong about this and this might be the most unpopular opinion ever, and that's fine, but it reads to me a bit like "she must want this because she is a woman and women want kids."
The way it's written, it makes absolute sense for Mulder to tell her that there has to be an end, that he wants her to have everything she wishes for. I just sometimes wish for a version of events where we had seen her more conflicted about it. Where she could have made it clear in the moment that if it came to a choice between that dream and their mission, she'd choose to continue their work, with him. I also wish for a version of events where Mulder could have admitted that having a family is his dream as much as it is hers, because why does it have to be the woman who wants a family while the man wants to keep saving the world? (Just as a personal aside, I have friends who are right now getting divorced because he wants kids and she doesn't. It just rubs me the wrong way sometimes when the wish for a family is the woman's job.)
BUT! I know that Mulder and Scully are not in the same place emotionally about their work. Mulder has been committed to it pretty much his entire life. It's never been just a job for him. It always has to come first, and whatever dreams he may also have, he cannot give up the quest for the truth. Scully believes in the work too, it's important to her, she has suffered so much because of it and never stopped going. That says everything we need to know about how important it is to her. She doesn't want to give it up. It's been more than a job for her too for a long time. Her wish for a child is never about not being committed to what they do. And I think it becomes clear enough over time that Mulder does indeed want the same things she does, it's just more between the lines, less obvious. I do believe that under different circumstances, they would have decided to have a family together -- we see more to that effect later on in season 8 and at the end of season 9, not to mention in the revival. Which is why my issues with all of it are more about the way the story is handled, and less about it existing in the first place.
One more But: I do like the fact that a woman who loves her work and is fully committed to it can still want to be a mother. Both things can be true. And that can lead to great personal conflict. And that is a very interesting thing to explore. I just also feel like that is exactly what they didn't do. They sort of just stop at "she wants this one thing and also this other thing." She wants to keep fighting and searching for truths and she wants a kid, but what that would mean for her future is something that is never really properly addressed. It's never properly addressed what it does to her feelings, being torn between two things that mean so much to her. But that would have been really interesting to see. What does she actually want? What is going on in her heart and her soul?
Still, that scene, Requiem as a whole, is still very well done, in my opinion. Within the context of the story they're telling, that scene with them curled up in bed together is beautiful. It's as close to a declaration of love as we get at that point. And he's talking about her health as much as about her wish for a child. He's telling her that her happiness and safety is more important to him than anything else in the world. Her reaction is to hold onto his hand and touch her lips to it -- she doesn't want to go. He means as much to her as she means to him. His happiness and safety come first for her too. And I think they both know in that moment that she would never do what he's suggesting. I don't think she'd ever leave and let him continue on his own. He says "There's so much more you need to do with your life. There's so much more than this." But what is "more?"
Long story short: I love the scene in the motel room. I love the love between them and the tenderness of that moment. But I wish CC had been better at writing women, and had taken more time throughout all the episodes that address this to flesh out that part of the story, both for Scully and for Mulder.
Please, feel absolutely free to disagree with me, I never mind discussing these things or even being convinced otherwise. This is just my take on it.
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This week’s writer spotlight feature is:  Penny00Dreadful! @penny00dreadful has 29 fics in the Stranger Things fandom with 25 of them being in the Steddie Tag!
@hbyrde36 recommends the following works by @penny00dreadful:
Crossroads
Cat and Mouse
I'll Tell You My Sins and You Can Sharpen Your Knife
And They Were Roommates!
The Parting Glass
Sam, on top of being an absolutely amazing writer (AND artist!), is one of the brightest lights in this fandom (in my humble opinion). She is incredibly kind and encouraging, always ready to uplift other authors in the Steddie and ST fanfic worlds. I have had the incredible pleasure of being her beta reader for quite some time now, and am consistently blown away by her talent. There isn't a single one of her works that I wouldn't recommend, they are all fantastic reads. -- @hbyrde36
Below the cut, @penny00dreadful answered some questions about their writing process and some of their recommended work!
Why do you write Steddie?
Opposites attract has always been a major draw for me, especially in my fandoms. Every pairing I’ve ever gotten into in every fandom I’ve been in have all been opposites attract and I’m not going to lie to you, I did not make that realization until this question. 😅 I had a very “Huh… that tracks” moment about it. 🤣 So the opposites attract factor is definitely big for me and while I suppose you could say that’s true for many, many pairings in fandom, there’s something about the complete opposite of both Steve and Eddie that is just enrapturing. From their aesthetic, to their personalities, to their upbringing, it creates such incredibly interesting parallels and options for building stories around them. On top of that, the two of them are so compelling as characters. Their various hang ups and traumas, their loves and hates, the time period and the genre of work they originated in all coalesce into something so captivating. I adore the two of them so much, they’re so fascinating. I think everyone can find a little bit of themselves in either one of them, but especially with the addition of Eddie into the series we got a character who was ‘other’, in the same way so many of us feel and are seen, he speaks to us on such a personal level. So, yeah. I love them.
What’s your favorite trope to READ?
Oh boy. There are so many. Enemies to lovers, hurt/comfort, fluff. But if I had to pick one that has been my longest standing love, it would have to be a slow burn. Like, when it hits, it hits. And it hits hard.
What’s your favorite trope to WRITE?
I looooove writing some tasty hurt/comfort. There’s just something so addictive about someone needing to be taken care of after something bad or traumatic happens or they’ve just had a really shitty day. It’s so cathartic. And also, I cannot like, I love getting comments screaming at me that I’ve made people hurt or cry or feel things because I know I’m going to make it better, I’m gonna give them that comfort. And it’s such an incredible compliment from people when they tell me that my writing has made them feel feelings. Like it is the highest praise possible that I could induce that in someone. It feels amazing.
What’s your favorite Steddie fic?
Oh my god, that is such a difficult question to answer. I have read so many that have left a permanent mark on my heart or completely rewired my brain. I had to go look through my bookmarks to narrow it down because my god, there are so many talented people in this fandom and even then I was attempted to just give a list of all my top ones because, god they make me feel so many things, people are so fucking talented, I love them. But I would say if I had to choose one, there’s one that lives rent free in my brain. I think of it all the time, it is so god damn special to me and if I’m being honest with myself, it’s the first one that came to mind, It would have to be wouldn’t it be nice (if we could wake up) by kissesforcas  kissesforcas I have talked about this fic on my blog before but it just hits me in the right way every time I read it, it’s absolutely magical. I can’t recommend it enough, please go read it. It changed me completely.  There’s so many beautiful moments in it, the two boys are so protective of each other in it, but they also adore their found family and will defend them at any cost, the two of them feel real, their communication feels genuine and honest and realistic while also being true to their characters, I just adore it.
Is there a trope you’re excited to explore in a future work but haven’t yet?
YES. FANTASY. It is wild to me that I have not done a fully fledged fantasy AU at all yet. Like I adore fantasy, what gives? Why have I not done it yet? Omg ALSO, historical. Like a lot of my special interests are historical based, WHY have I not done that yet?? AND, AND horror maybe? Like a psychological or zombie or paranormal/supernatural or slasher. So many things I haven’t explored that I want to do, and I can’t wait!
What is your writing process like?
Okay, so first things first, I get an idea.  Kind of obvious, I know, but yeah, the idea stage. Usually it’ll be something that hit out of nowhere, I’ll write down one line in the ideas doc and then pretend I won’t be thinking of it for the rest of the day. Then when I admit to myself I want to expand on it, I’ll take all of the brain worms attached to that idea and put them in their own doc. It’ll all be VERY disjointed at this stage, just a stream of consciousness of different situations/conversations/plot bunnies that popped into my head. Once I feel like I have enough of a concept through that, I begin to put them in order, maybe add a few more. Then I outline. I’m an outline kinda gal.  Over a page or two I’ll give a bare bones outline of what the fic will be, almost like it’s a short story? But still very rough.  Then I’ll start writing, usually in chronological order, I find that makes it easier to plant seeds and foreshadow and create consistency with the voice of the fic. Sometimes I will jump ahead if I’m really excited about a particular part of the fic, I’ll get it out before I lose steam on it. HOWEVER, I find that I almost ALWAYS diverge from the outline. If, as I’m writing, things start going in a different direction, I go with the flow, I don’t fight it. Fighting it, I feel is detrimental to my writing, trying to force myself into a box and hey, going with the flow has been working out pretty well for me so far. 🤣
Do you have any writing quirks?
Quirks? I dunno about that. I think I’m a pretty standard writer, but I do end up writing across three devices a lot of the time depending on where’s more comfortable. PC, tablet and phone. I’ll always stick to writing whatever my brain is focusing on at that time, but if I know I need to get a fic out and I’m not really feeling the inspo anymore, I’ll give myself an extra boost by watching movies with similar themes, listening to music related to it, or even just searching the trope on Pinterest can help me generate excitement about it again.Also do yourself a favor and get yourself a Bluetooth keyboard. It’s a game changer for writing on your phone.
Do you prefer posting when you’ve finished writing or on a schedule?
I’ve done both and I much prefer posting on a set schedule. I always try to get the fic at least 50% finished before I start posting to give myself a nice cushion. Yeah, the immediate endorphin hit of posting once I’m done is great, but I much prefer the option to have a fic mostly or completely done before I post, so I can go back in and tweak things to make a theme hit harder or stick in a tad more foreshadowing or even just to edit.
Which fic are you most proud of?
I love all of my works, honestly. I write for me. I write the things I want to read. I think it would be difficult to narrow down a fic that I am the most proud of. Like I’m actually having a really difficult time picking one and saying “This one. This is the one I am most proud of.” Because I am proud of all of them and it’s for each of their own reasons. Like, some are very, very personal to me, some are stories that made me feel completely unhinged and obsessed(affectionately) and some are stories that touched people in very real ways, or made them feel safe and seen and that is so incredibly special to me. It’s a bit of a cop out to say that I can’t pick one, I can’t choose between my children, but I really can’t, they’re all so special, at least to me, in their own ways.
How did you get the idea for Crossroads?
So I have never seen the movie The Old Guard, but I have heard of it and while I know that reincarnation is not an aspect of that movie, I was struck with the idea of someone going through life over, and over, and over again, just to be close to the one they love the most. Like that kind of time bending devotion. And I had a brain worm of various historical ways of dying and I couldn’t figure out a way to write all of them into one fic before the idea of reincarnation hit. The very first image I had in my head of Eddie dying was being burned at the stake, so I had to work my way up to that time period and beyond. I knew I didn’t want it to be something that had only happened a few times over a couple of hundred years.  I knew I wanted it to be an ancient, centuries spanning kind of devoted love which is what led me to Ancient Greece, and in leading me there, I had to figure out why this was happening. Why Steve was traversing time just to be next to his boy again. Hecate appeared out of the mist and invaded my brain and it all kind of spilled out onto the page after that. 
When writing Cat and Mouse, what was something you didn’t expect?
I gotta be honest, the whole fic was unexpected. 😅 It was one of those stories when I originally thought of it, it was only gonna be a short little thing, maybe one or two chapters. By the end of it we were at 16 chapters and over 70K. Apparently I have no idea how to write anything short. But I think what also took me by surprise was how feral the two of them were for each other even though they didn't actually get together until later. I knew I wanted to have them being snappy and flirtatious for the whole thing and it evolved into the two of them being so dedicated to each other after only meeting a few times. I also didn’t expect the wild reaction I got to the fic, people loved it and were chomping for more and I was floored by it, it made me so incandescently happy!
What inspired Cat and Mouse?
So, the short answer is I saw this post from steddielations and it burrowed so deep into my brain, I had to get it out! Long answer is it was a mix of that post, and then a bit of Mr & Mrs. Smith mixed in along with John Wick. I just loved the idea of two deadly people being so soft for each other they’d be willing to burn the world for each other, do anything at any cost to keep the other safe.
What was your favorite part to write from And They Were Roommates!?
Oh my god, the banter. The banter was loaded with bitching and queerspeak and jabs, it was so much fun. I hadn’t really seen a story where the steddie boys had been bitchy queers before, like leaning into it and I just had to, I had to. It was too good of an opportunity to pass up and I could have gone on for ages just the two of them biting back and forth.
How do/did you feel writing I'll Tell You My Sins and You Can Sharpen Your Knife?
Conflicted, honestly. I was worried the POV I was writing from would be a little too out there, you know? There were a few times throughout writing where I thought I’d have to go back and change it out to be more of a standard fic but at the end of the day it felt so right to have the story told the way it was and it also felt very in line with Take Me To Church as well. It’s also the most poetic piece of writing I have done to date and while it’s not something I can see myself revisiting too often, it was a fantastic exercise in moving out of my comfort zone. It got me, right in the heart.
What was the most difficult part of writing The Parting Glass?
Oh boy. The whole fic was an exercise in catharsis. It was a way of processing my own grief after losing a family member and getting it all out into words was very, very helpful. I think the hardest part was just putting down into words how Eddie was feeling right in the aftermath, you know? Like grief is such a personal thing, everyone experiences it differently, so I wanted to try to figure out how Eddie would respond to it, especially considering it was the death of someone so important to him. So to have him looking around the trailer and it being empty but still with bits of Wayne dotted around like he was about to walk back through the door was probably the realest and most difficult part for me.
Do you have a favorite scene and/or line from any of your fics?
Oh god there’s so many! I could pick so many! But the first thing that came to mind is the small interaction between Eddie and Robin in Return of The King, when Steve is demonstrating his newly acquired vampire strength for the kids and Eddie has to hold onto Robin to keep himself from melting into a puddle: “Down boy.” She muttered. “Me next.” He practically whimpered right back. “Oh god, Robbie, I wanna be that stump. Tell him to do me next.” “You’re pathetic.” “What about it?” [...] Robin leaned in close to his ear but continued to stare at Steve. “If you two don’t calm the fuck down I’m going to get the hose.” Wet Steve. “Please get the hose.” I love Robin and Eddie together whenever I can get them snarking at each other, it’s just so entertaining. 
Do you have any upcoming projects or fics you’d like to share/promote?
Oh yeah! A good few things. I’m coming back from my writing break and I’m going to be working on the final two fics for my anniversary event, Through The Valley and Devotion.  I also have a Summer Exchange Fic in the works along with starting on my Steddie Big Bang piece that I am also signed up for as an artist, I’m so excited to start them!
Outside of these questions, Is there anything YOU would like to add?
I think I would just like to add that this blog, this concept is such a wonderful idea, you’re doing great work here to bring people and fics to new eyes and it has been an honor and a privilege to be put forward the way I have, I’m so so so thankful. 🖤
Thank you to our author, @penny00dreadful, and our nominator, @hbyrde36! See more of Penny00Dreadful's works featured on our page throughout the day!
Writer’s Spotlight is every Wednesday! Want to nominate an author? You can nominate them here!
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gabriel/zadkiel || angst w/ no comfort (823 words)
he looked exhausted.
that was one of the first things zadkiel noticed during their reunion. gabriel didn't exude the energy he used to. he flew less, he fought with less brilliance, and for the life of them zadkiel couldn't begin to think why. they feared it was a sensitive subject, and so they never brought it up.
but they could no longer sit idly, having it seen it persist for months now. in the quiet of their shared bedroom, both angels sat on the bed, looking at each other quietly. thunder loomed outside in gentle booms.
"so... can i ask about that?"
"about... what?" gabriel asked, confused.
zadkiel sighed. "you look so tired. drained. what happened?"
"you mean you don't know?"
zadkiel fell silent as gabriel looked away. "they... the council, they punished me for my failure in defeating v1 the first time we fought." his fist clenched tightly. "they stripped me of my light. i no longer have the strength or power i did before."
"your light?"
gabriel looked back at zadkiel. they both looked equally confused at each other's statements.
"what do you mean?" gabriel asked. "our light? the thing that connects us to Him? that grants us our power?"
something seemed to click in zadkiel's mind. mortification twisted on their features. "gabriel, what are you talking about? that was never a thing."
gabriel fell quiet, but the golden shift in his eyes spoke plenty.
"gabriel..." zadkiel's voice is gentle as they take his hand in theirs. "gabriel, who talked about the light?"
nothing in response. the yellow glowed stronger. zadkiel's were beginning to reflect the same emotion.
"it was the council, wasn't it?"
they felt his body shake and the hand holding theirs grow tighter.
"... oh god, what did they do to you?"
gabriel teared himself away, standing up from the bed abruptly. tears fell from molten gold eyes, curling past gritted teeth. his fists were clenched, and his chest rose and fell heavily as fury roared in his heart.
yet another lie from the council. and this one finally broke him.
"i can't do this, i—"
without another word, he began to storm out the door. zadkiel was fast to react, scrambling off the bed and grabbing his hand once more.
"gabriel, what are you doing?" zadkiel asked, eyes welling with tears of his own.
"you were right yet again, zadkiel!" gabriel snapped, tugging his arm out of zadkiel's hold as he does. "you proved once again how gullible my faith made me!"
zadkiel frowned, hands lowering. "what the fuck are you talking about, i was just concerned—"
"you've once again shown me how weak i am!" he let out a hateful laugh, "how easily i was made a puppet because i at least cared about the father!"
"woah, woah, what the fuck are you getting at?" zadkiel took a step forward, wings spreading behind him in a matching golden glow. "all i did was make you realise another shitty thing the council did, why are you—"
"oh thank you, zadkiel! let me grovel at your feet for freeing such a pitful angel as i from more invisible shackles! you're so high and mighty all the time, oh so wise for deciding to abandon heaven while we all suffered, i bet you feel so great in being sooo right!"
zadkiel couldn't believe his ears. more tears fell from his eyes. his staff was in his hands and pointed at gabriel before he even realised it.
"do you even fucking hear yourself right now?" they cried. "all i fucking did was ask if you're okay and now you're insulting me? christ, gabriel, its a wonder why people like you, you're so fucking insufferable when the things you know are challenged!"
"and you think you're any different?" he scoffed. "oh wait, of course you do! you have such an inferiority complex you have to bring everyone here down to your level to feel better about yours—"
it takes a second to register the sudden pain in his side. dizzy, he fell to a knee whilst clutching his hip. it was warm. there was blood. both on his hands and now on zadkiel's staff, that shook violently in the small angel's hands.
neither of them knew what they were doing now.
"god, i— gabriel, i'm so sorry, i—"
gabriel stood up with a grunt, still clutching his side, and began to stagger off.
"i need— i need time to think... i'm sorry, zadkiel."
zadkiel had no chance to speak further as a golden light illuminated the hallway, taking gabriel with it as it disappeared. the staff slipped from zadkiel's hand, clattering onto the floor with a loud clang. their voice was gone, tired and spent and choked up on tears, they couldn't even muster a cry.
they simply turned back around and walked back into the bedroom, leaving their staff behind. all they wanted to do now was rest the day away.
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