#i find their dynamic so interesting especially how uncomfortable he is after all with her attempts to be maternal

[alaynestone]

s a m . . . i'm good. i am. 14.01 STRANGER IN A STRANGE LAND

#spnedit #samedit #maryedit #sammary #sam x mary #stop hitting on me mom i'm in the middle of something!! #i find their dynamic so interesting especially how uncomfortable he is after all with her attempts to be maternal #and to be fair she goes about it really weirdly #this whole scene she's trying to get him to go to bed but her body language says she wants to join him #mary is his mother but only dean gets to be his mommy #supernatural #it's a good deal #s14 #stranger in a strange land #*

[fortuna-et-cataclysmos]

Alya in Passion: you find yourself a new lover the moment Adrien starts to have feelings for you. Coincidence? I think not. I think you may be running away from your feelings.

Marinette in Glaciator 2: When things get very important to me, I can't help but try to control every possible outcome. Stories with wedding dresses and hamsters and what people see is not Marinette opening her heart up.

Besties. Marinette is not over Adrien. She is scared. She is scared that things won't work out with Adrien because Adrien having a crush on her is totally new to her and she has no clue what to expect. Now that he has an interest in her too, she can no longer "control all the outcomes." That's what happens in a healthy relationship: two people act and decide. She can't be the only one calling the shots. So she wants to run away.

Her running away from Adrien and Chat Noir's new-found Kuro Neko charm coincide; she prefers to explore her feelings towards Chat Noir rather than facing the very real possibility of dating Adrien. Chat Noir already loves her, right? That's not only about taking his love for granted, it is also a comfortable familiarity for Marinette, as opposed to the unchartered territory of being in a romantic relationship with Adrien.

So um, it is not that she doesn't love Adrien. It's just that being with him makes her yield control and especially after what happened with the Miracle box, she cannot fathom giving up control.

Ironically, in this episode we also see her voluntarily give all the control of the operation to Mister Bug.

Mister Bug: how many times have you made complex plans from objects like a heater or playing cards, all the time never telling me anything? Today, it is your turn to trust me. Will you?

Lady Noire: of course I trust you. Go ahead, I'll take care of Safari.

In their superhero dynamics too, Ladybug was the leader, calling the shots and controlling the operation. But this time, we see her willing to yield this control to Mister Bug, because she trusts him.

Marinette is still uncomfortable with giving up control. But she can do it with Chat Noir, and that's why she is favouring him over Adrien.

Marinette: I even managed to invite him to see a movie without sputtering! [...] Everything is so much easier with Chat Noir. I manage to say to him everything I can't to Adrien.

Because when she is talking to him, she isn't thinking of an elaborate plan where she controls everything. She is fine with giving some of the control to Chat Noir, and that's why she is can easily talk to him.

And as long as Adrien doesn't get an opportunity to show to Marinette that he is as dependable as Chat Noir (ironic, isn't it?) and that she doesn't need to be the only one in charge when around him, she'll continue denying her feelings for Adrien.

#miraculous ladybug #ml spoilers #ml season 5 #ml passion #ml analysis #from fortuna #love square #ladynoir #adrienette #adrinette

[marvelouslizzie]

unconventional methods - chapter 2

Summary: Bucky Barnes struggles with his feelings towards Bunny, leading him to make a big mistake. Now he must make it right. It means doing something he is uncomfortable with.

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x Female Reader (SHIELD Agent Bucky Barnes x Adult Content Creator Reader)

Word Count: 6.7K

Warnings: 18+ NSFW MINORS DNI, texting, overthinking, self-doubt, misunderstandings, pet names, video call, mutual masturbation, slight dirty talk if you squint, metal arm use, use of a dildo, teasing, small dose of sub/dom dynamic, no mention of y/n.

A/N: Thank you so much to everyone who showed interest in the first chapter. I really didn't expect this story to get the attention it did. Means a lot to me. If you didn't read the first chapter, you definitely should before reading this one.

unconventional methods - chapter 1

marvelous lizzie's masterlist

This story will end with chapter three, which will most likely come out the following Sunday (12th March)

Once again >> indicates incoming messages and <<; indicates outgoing messages.

Once again a big thank you to @notafunkiller and @es1dit for everything. Extra thanks to @notafunkiller for the beta-read and for helping me to improve the story. You two are the best!

All work is mine, please do not repost or translate without my permission.

Every like, comment and reblog is highly appreciated. Don’t hesitate to message me or send me a question or comment regarding the stories I write. I would love to talk about it and no, it would never bother me as long as it’s not a hate comment. They are never welcome.

Read more tag starts after the first paragraph of the story.

Gifs belong to @fysebastianstan I wanted to add them through Tumblr gifs but couldn't find them that way. I hope it's alright to use them and if not, I can remove them if requested.

<<< Previous Chapter

After that magical night, Bucky found himself overthinking again. He was definitely struggling with the feelings he had for her. They were sexual, but that was not all. He had been in only sexual relationships before the war. It was like an agreement: purely sexual and for fun. Some girls wanted a bit more experience before finding the love of their lives, and it was totally fine, but this… this definitely wasn’t the same. He was feeling possessive over her and the feeling was so strange, especially considering they did not even meet face to face.

Of course, he knew he wasn’t the only person she was sharing this side of herself with. Posting adult content was literally her job. There was no doubt other men would like to get closer to her and she would probably talk to them a little, see how she feels and if things fall into place, they would get to see this side of her and she would get aroused just for them. A rare sight. Anybody would be lucky to witness that. 

He still couldn’t believe she was into him. It was probably more of the idea of him, not the real him since she didn’t know who he actually is, right? He knew his dick wasn’t a disappointment, his body was fine, but definitely could be better. There was always space for improvement. She did not see the metal arm or his face. She only heard his voice, saw some parts of his body, and created a different version of Bucky. Not even Bucky, James. Some 33-year-old dude named James who was partially good-looking. In her mind, he must be someone else, completely different from reality.

That was what she should be for him too, right? Some random super attractive girl on the internet who was willing to talk to him? Nothing more. Yet he couldn’t force himself to feel nothing but sexual attraction toward her. He tried to focus on work, but he couldn’t. Mission reports were always boring anyway. How were they supposed to distract him? 

>> Hey handsome, I hope you’re having a good day.

Her texting him doesn’t help, either. It’s just making it harder for him to stay away. He needed to distance himself, get a new perspective and maybe, maybe have a chance to realize he was being ridiculous. But she was so hard to resist her, especially when she was just wishing him a good day like this, with no expectation or pressure.

<< Hey, Bunny. It’s boring, but I’ll survive. I hope you are having a good day.

>> Oh, I’m having a great day. Especially after last night…

Bucky closed his eyes and took a deep breath when he read the message. He just wished she wouldn’t bring it up. It was great, he can’t deny it, but he knew… he fucking knew it was nothing special for her, and remembering that just broke his heart a little more. She shouldn’t have to act like it meant something to her. The idea of her faking something was just unbearable.

<< You know you don’t have to…

>> I don’t have to what?

<< I’m grateful that you made me feel special. It felt great, but I know I’m not special or anything and you don’t have to act like I am. It’s fine. 

Her responses came in so quickly, he had a bit of a hard time following them.

>> What the fuck, James?

>> What the actual fuck?

>> Do you think I am doing this with everyone?

>> Is that how low you think of me?

>> You think I open my messages, talk to the ones that seem okay, and send them special photos in my spare time?

>> Why would I fucking do that? What am I gaining? Loyal followers? More paying customers? People don’t wanna pay shit for things they can get for free. I know that better than anyone. It’s my job!

>> You think I pick the ones that are good-looking, and just have fun? If that were the case you wouldn’t even have a chance! Do you know why? You don’t even have a profile picture! I didn’t even know your name for days! I don’t even know if you are single or married or divorced!

>> If you think I’m treating loyal customers like this or something you are wrong. God, I feel so stupid because I thought you were different. Why would you be any different than the others? Just because you respected my boundaries, just because you didn’t ask for private photos, and just because you reminded me of those gentlemen from 40s movies, it doesn’t mean you are not after the same thing they are.

>> You have no idea what I am risking just by talking with you. God, I’m so stupid. 

>> You got what you want and now you are done with the small talk. I get it. I’m backing off. Sorry for disturbing you.

<< Bunny, bunny, bunny!

<< No, please, stop! That’s not what I meant.

<< Please, give me a chance to explain myself. 

<< Please.

<< That’s not what this was, believe me.

>> Explain what? How this is nothing special for you? It was just a bit of fun time with the girl you were following online? I don’t want to hear it.

>> You don’t have to explain anything to me. You don’t owe me an explanation, I’m just a random girl who shares adult content. Obviously, I have no soul or feelings. 

<< I’m the one who has feelings for you, okay?! I didn’t think you would find me interesting or special because I don’t feel like I am. 

<< I am sorry. I think I was just projecting. That’s what my therapist would say.

<< I just didn’t wanna make you uncomfortable with my feelings. I thought they would be totally unrequited.

>>  You have feelings for me?

>>  You better not be lying to get out of trouble, James! 

<< I’m not, I swear. Just give me a chance, okay?

>> Fine. You get one chance. Tonight. You explain yourself on a video call or I’m not talking to you anymore.

<< Whatever you want, doll. Whatever you want. Just don’t step out of my life. 

***

The day did not seem to pass fast enough. It felt like time was standing still just to torture Bucky more. The work was much more boring than usual: a lot of paperwork, signatures, and chasing the right people. Not that he was chasing anyone. He was sitting and pitying himself while waiting for Natasha to show up. He just wanted to get up and leave, but apparently, it wasn’t possible. When Natasha finally stepped inside, Bucky groaned out of frustration.

“Oh, fucking finally, Romanoff.”

Natasha didn’t even look at him.

“I was busy. What do you need?”

“A couple of signatures.” She leaned in and started to sign the papers as quickly as possible. She was never reading what she was signing because who had time to read a 25-page-long mission report? Apparently, Bucky Barnes because he had to write it from the scratch. Like his day wasn’t horrible enough... “I wish we could just go on missions, and that would be it.”

“Oh, that’s the dream, Barnes. That’s the dream.” She finally put her pen down. “I’ve been writing the mission reports for months. It’s your turn now, stop complaining.”

“I know, I know.” He accepted the defeat much easier than he normally would.

“Are you alright?”

Bucky looked up at her from his seat. Was he alright? Definitely not. He could feel a heavy knot inside his chest, burning his lungs and stomach while he was waiting for tonight. Of course, he wasn’t going to say that to Romanoff.

“I’m fine.”

“Doesn’t look like you are. Whatever it is, stop overthinking.”

“Easier said than done,” he murmured. 

“Look, I know it’s not an on-off switch, but you gotta try a little bit harder. Shift your focus on something else or just face whatever makes you this… uneasy.”

“I’m gonna face it. Shifting my focus is not helping.”

Natasha gave him a suspicious look. She had no idea what this was about, but she had a feeling it might be because of the pretty girl she suggested to him. Or was it just wishful thinking? No, wishful thinking wasn’t something she did often. She was always a big realist and something was definitely up with Barnes.

“Good.” She simply answered. She knew him well enough to guess pressuring him to talk wouldn’t work on him. “We have a meeting tomorrow.”

Bucky groaned in frustration because he was just done with the mission report and now SHIELD was ready to send them in another mission again.

“We need a break.”

“This one is pretty urgent. Apparently, it’s been an undercover operation for a while now and they finally got the info they need. We’ll need to leave right after the meeting.”

“An undercover operation, huh? Interesting.”

“Be here at 9. Fury wants us all present, it’s really important.”

“Fine, fine. I’ll be there.”

***

Bucky had no idea when the video call was gonna happen, but he was already feeling too self-conscious. His face was known to most people all over the world since he was accused of killing the king of Wakanda. Then working for SHIELD became a big deal. He wasn’t sure how Bunny would react when she realized he was the Winter Soldier. He wasn’t ready for that.

>> Are you there? I’m available for that video chat.

<< I am.

>> OK. I’m calling you.

He quickly turned his laptop on, hoping he would keep the camera off for the conversation. Maybe just hearing his voice would be enough for her.

“James?” Her voice was so soft and silky. Hearing her saying his name like that made him shiver a little.

“Yes, doll?”

“Why is your camera off?” Of course, she wasn’t gonna let it go. What was he even thinking?

“I am not…” He actually didn’t know what to say. “I don’t feel comfortable…”

“You don’t feel comfortable with me? Is that what you’re saying?” She definitely sounded offended.

“No, it’s not like that. I don't feel comfortable... and you might not feel comfortable either."

“Why?”

“It’s hard to explain.” He was hoping she would just let it go.

“Try me.” She didn’t.

“Please, doll… Let’s just talk.” He was practically begging at this point.

“Jamie, if you don’t turn the camera on, I’m leaving. We can’t continue like this.” She sounded so determined, it was scary. And her calling him Jamie? A part of him melted. He had noticed how her calling him Jamie influenced him in this way. Maybe because his mom called him Jamie when he was little. Bucky came later when he was a teenager. Before that, he was Jamie at home.

“Don’t. Please, don’t.”

“Don’t what? Call you Jamie?” The defensive tone of her voice was breaking his heart.

“Don’t leave.” He quickly turned the camera on, afraid she might just leave. Then he heard her gasp. Fuck, she’s scared, he thought. “I told you it might be uncomfortable.”

She quickly pulled herself together.

“Yeah, it’s so uncomfortable looking at that pretty face.” She managed to say, trying to hide her surprise. “Or those blue eyes. Do you ever look in the mirror Bu-bunny?”

“Bunny?” He repeated confused. “You are the bunny, not me, doll.” 

“If you say so.” She shrugged, licking her lips nervously. “I can’t believe you have been hiding this face all this time.” she tried to focus on him. “Why did you even think I would be uncomfortable?”

“Don’t you know… who I am?” he sounded nervous again, thinking he might have to explain his past. It’s always tedious. How can you say you were a brainwashed assassin in a less threatening way? You can’t. That was the problem. 

“I know you were the Winter Soldier if that’s what you are asking.” 

Oh.

“That explains the reaction.”

“No, it was because of your pretty face. Not because of your past. I’m in no position to judge you for your past. Whatever you did, you had no control over it. That’s pretty obvious.”

“How can you be so sure?” His question came instantly.

“Maybe I can tell you how and why one day, but not today.” She sounded a bit uncomfortable, so Bucky didn’t want to push her.

“Whenever you want, Bunny. I will always be here to listen.”

“Can I see your arm?” The change of topic came too suddenly. Her question caught Bucky off guard.

“Huh?” 

“Your metal arm. It’s vibranium, right?” She was talking about the arm he has been trying to hide so hard. Does she really want to see that arm? 

“Yes, it is.” He tried to sound as normal as possible.

“Can I see it?” She repeated eagerly.

Without saying anything, Bucky curled up his sleeve to reveal a part of his arm, still feeling a bit uncomfortable.

“Wow.” She looked stunned. “It looks… so pretty. The gold details. Wow.”

Her expression was something that can’t be faked. She was so genuinely surprised and interested. It gave Bucky the confidence he needed.

“Wanna see the rest?”

Bunny nodded excitedly, making Bucky smile. He took his henley off pretty quickly, and his metal arm, broad chest, and dog tags were on full display.

“Now I know why you only had one arm in every picture you sent me. Smart move, Sergeant Barnes.” Her eyes were still on his body, focusing on his arm. Bucky couldn’t remember the last time he felt this desired. Oh, god she definitely knows who I am, he thought. Getting called by his rank did things to him. He could feel the blood rushing to the other places. It’s not the time, it’s not the time, he tried to remind himself, yet a low groan escaped his lips before he could control it.

“So am I gonna see the rest, Sergeant?”

He gave her a confused look. When he asked that question he meant the rest of his arm, but apparently Bunny had different ideas. 

“You mean…”

“The rest of your body, yes.”

“I thought we were gonna talk.” He tried to hide how much he was actually enjoying this change.

“We were, but I changed my mind.” Bucky smiled once again. Maybe I still got it, he thought.

“Because of the arm?”

“Because of you and yes, the arm too since it’s a part of you.” 

“I never thought…” He couldn’t get to finish that thought.

“Your arm would be a turn-on? Well, it is. You should get used to that.”

“That’s gonna take a while,” Bucky admitted, then he looked back at the screen. “You gotta share more to see more, Bunny.”

“You are a fast learner, Sergeant. I like that.”

“I told you, you can always count on that.”

Bunny took her shirt off, instead of answering him. Bucky’s expression changed pretty quickly when he noticed she had no bra on. God, he needed to touch her, feel her and make her feel good, but he has no idea if that was even possible. His eyes focused on her nipples. How could they look this delicious over a video call? He wanted to latch on them, suck until she was a crying mess under him. 

“You okay, Sarge?”

“God, Bunny, if you call me Sarge or Sergeant one more time, I will come inside my pants.”

“Noted,” she said with a teasing voice. “We wouldn’t want that, would we? I wanna see you first. Then we can make that happen.”

“I wanna see you, too. Coming hard while I tell you dirty things that turn you on.”

“Wow, the old man has a dirty mouth. Who would’ve thought?”

“Are you teasing me?” He asked with a small smile on his lips.

“I am challenging you.” Bucky gave her a suspicious look.

“To do what?”

“To talk dirty for real, James. You are ‘all talk and no action’ sometimes.”

“Oh, is that what we are doing now?” He already sounded challenged by her words. “I should’ve known you wouldn’t like a gentleman.”

“I do like a gentleman, outside the bed. In the bed, they are boring.”

“Okay, okay.” He nodded, trying to decide what to do next. “Good to know. Now, take your clothes off. I wanna see that body.” 

“Is that an order, Sarge?”

“Yes, it is, Bunny.”

“And what if I don’t follow it?” Her voice was so fucking cute, Bucky did not know how she managed to be like this. 

“Then you will be punished accordingly.” He didn’t even think before answering.

“Over the phone?”

“No. I will punish you in person. I will find wherever you live and I will punish you for not following a clear order.” The words spilled out of his mouth without much thought. The second he was done, he realized what he said. God, if she had got scared, she would have had every right to do so.

“That sounds more like a promise.” Her answer was unexpected and didn’t seem wary. Was she not scared of him? At all?

“It can be, but you wouldn’t wanna get punished.” 

“Hmm…” She thought for a second. “Tell me, what do you want? A good girl or a bad one?”

“I want you, Bunny. Whichever you are.” His answer must be unexpected because Bunny’s expression changed for a second. She looked emotional and vulnerable, but she quickly pulled herself together.

“I am a little bit of both.” 

“Then both it is.”

Bunny quickly took her remaining clothes off instead of responding, giving him a look. “Your turn.”

Bucky did the same.

“Now what do you want me to do?” She asked eagerly.

“Touch yourself for me.” She could feel how aroused he was just by hearing his voice. The full view of his erection was helping, too. 

“Touch yourself first.” She sounded so demanding and Bucky couldn’t find the strength to refuse. His flesh hand wrapped around his already painful erection. “With the metal one, Sarge.”

Bucky quickly looked back at her, with confusion written all over his face.

“I promise, I am not a groupie or anything. I just think it would look so hot.”

“A groupie?”

“Google it if you don’t know what it means. I am not gonna embarrass myself by explaining.” Bucky laughed a little.

“I know what it means, Bunny. I just wasn’t sure why I would think you're a groupie.”

“Oh…” She looked at the camera for a second. “You really don’t know, do you?”

“Know what?” He was completely lost.

“That you have fans.”

The look he had was unforgettable: completely lost.

“I have fans?” He repeated mindlessly.

“Nobody told you that, huh?”

“Nope. I have fans?”

“You do.” Bunny giggled. He was really an adorable old man. “People who defend you online. I will explain more later, okay?”

“Okay.” He still sounded confused, but he let it go. The sight in front of him was more interesting than a group of people defending him. 

“Metal hand, around your cock.” She reminded him.

“Right.” She watched him wrap his vibranium fingers around his erection. It was truly a sight.

“Now, your turn.” 

“What do you want me to do?” She quickly asked.

“Do you have a dildo around?”

Bunny was silent for a second. “Yes?” Her tone was hesitant.

“Do you have a favorite?”

She tried not to smile. “Of course.”

“Take that one.” He sounded so confident. It was a huge turn-on. 

“Wait a second.” She left the frame for a while, and Bucky could hear her walking around, looking through her stuff. Finally, she came back with it. 

“You like it big,” Bucky stated after seeing the dildo. It was probably as big as his own dick. No wonder she was so into the pictures he sent.

“Is that a problem?” Her question was genuine. “I can get a smaller one.”

“Why would I want that?” He had no idea. “I want you to enjoy this. That’s why I asked for your favorite.”

Bunny’s concern vanished quickly.

“Now what, Sarge?”

“Now we both start to play with ourselves.”

“Sounds good.” Bucky watched her brushing her fingers against her clit while letting out delicious, low moans. It was nothing too pornographic, and he could feel more blood rushing to his lower side. He started to work on himself pretty slowly with his vibranium hand since it was new to him. He never used his metal fingers before so he was trying to be careful. 

“Use lube.”

“Huh?” Bucky looked like a fish out of water.

“Use lube, it will make it better.” Her fingers were still working on her clit and lips as she spoke. “Or whatever you have. A cream works too, I guess.” 

“I have lube, doll. How do you think my dick survived you for this long?”

She giggled again, and all Bucky wanted to do was kiss her hard. Her lips, her nipples, her wet pussy. Anything… he just needed to taste her. 

“You don’t even need lube, do you?” he asked, trying to distract himself.

“Nope.” She moved her finger away from her pussy, just to show him how wet she is, and the response she got was a loud moan.

“Fuck.” He took a deep breath. “Fuck, fuck, fuck.” It was such a raw reaction, and Bunny loved every second of it. “All for me?” 

“All for you, Sarge.”

His fingers started to work faster, and thanks to the lube, it was much better than he expected. He was surprised at how the metal felt against his cock. Definitely didn’t feel like flesh, but it was good. Really good since he could actually move his metal hand faster.

“Can I put this in me?” She asked Bucky for permission to finally use the dildo, and god, he had to stop for a second, not to come instantly. 

“Yes. Yes, you can.” He breathed out, struggling to form sentences at this point, but he managed it.

She pushed the dildo inside her effortlessly and let out a loud moan as she moved it in further. Bucky took a deep breath, trying to calm himself down. There is no way you are not gonna come before her. He was talking to himself. Just calm down. 

"Ride that dildo, Bunny. Imagine it's me."

“You want this to be over soon, huh?” Her teasing tone helped him relax. He liked that he wasn’t alone in this.

“You gotta meet me in the middle, Bunny. Otherwise, it’s gonna be embarrassing.”

She didn’t tease or challenge him this time. She just listened to his order and started to ride the dildo as she would ride him. Her movements, the noises she made… She was making things even harder. He felt like he lost control of his fingers. He wanted to slow down, try to come with her, but his metal hand wasn’t listening to him.

“F-fuck.” He breathed out. “I’m- I’m gonna come.” He sounded so pained like he was disappointing her.

“I’m gonna come, too.” Her response was quick. “Sstop holding yourself back.” She was panting, involuntarily showing him how close she actually was.

“Shit. Pinch your nipple for me if you like that.” His metal hand was moving fast on his cock, it was oozing with precum already. 

“I do.” She was out of breath already. “I do.” Pinching her nipple was enough to push her over the edge. “Oh, fuck…” When the first wave of her orgasm hit her, he could see how strong it was. “Fuck, Bucky…” The moment she said his name, he knew he was gone. There was no way he could hold back. “This feels so good. So fucking good.”

“God, Bunny.” He let out a loud moan as his come hit the laptop screen. He gasped as he continued to move his hand until he felt painfully overstimulated.

He had no idea how long the silence between them lasted.

“James?” He heard her silky voice before opening his eyes back up.

“I’m here, Bunny.” She smiled in response. She could see he was still there, but she wasn’t gonna say that.

“That was amazing.” Bunny looked so blissed out.

“Tell me about it.” He shook his head like he couldn’t believe how strong that orgasm was.

He heard Bunny taking another deep breath while looking back at him.

“Look, I know this is not the time…” Bunny sounded more serious than before. The tone got his attention back to her. 

“Tell me.” He suddenly sounded so demanding.

“The timing is horrible.” 

“I don’t care.” He smiled, trying to assure her.

“I won’t be around for a while.” His face dropped when he heard her words. “That’s why I wanted to talk to you tonight. I won’t be online or posting new content.”

"Is something wrong?" He sounded so worried, so panicked. As crazy as it might have been, he didn't want to lose her, especially after this.

“No, no, no.” She quickly assured him. “It's something I have to do. I was working on something for a long time and now it might come to an end. Which is a good thing since that's what I was trying to achieve. I just need to deal with it, then I will be back and I'll explain everything, okay?” Bucky nodded. “Just know that I'll be busy, but I'll come back, okay? No need to worry about me.”

“I will always worry about you.” That was the truth. Even if he knew she was fine, not hearing from her would worry him. “Thank you for telling me.”

***

The next morning, Bucky woke up feeling much better than he ever felt since he was a free man. Last night, things exceeded his expectations. He noticed how much he was overthinking everything, how he never thought she'd be so okay with who he was. He never thought she would be still attracted to him after seeing him. He wasn’t delusional enough to think he had an ugly face. The problem was the things that face was associated with and, yes, he was still convinced she was way out of his league. But she didn’t seem to care, and that was all that mattered to him. 

He quickly got ready. His morning routine was simple, so he could just leave in half an hour: a quick shower, a simple breakfast, and putting on appropriate clothes were enough. After he was done with the essentials, he found a bit of time to send Bunny a good morning message. She might not be able to respond, since she told him she was gonna be busy these days, but he still felt like doing it. And after last night, he had no intention to refrain from following his wishes. Not anymore.

But when he opened the app, he was simply shocked, horrified even… Because Bunny was gone. Completely gone. Her account was deactivated, and only their old messages were still there.

The panic scattered throughout his body like rapid fire, spreading from his chest and burning everything on its path. He had no idea what to do. He didn't have her number or any social media accounts if she had any. He didn’t even know where she lived. Yes, sure, Bunny told him she was going to be away for a while and wouldn't be able to share anything, but deleting her whole account? That was completely unexpected and alarming. He rubbed his face with both of his hands, trying to figure out a way to make sure she was fine.

Slowly, the overthinking returned and took complete control of him. What if she just played it cool yesterday but wanted to vanish after learning who he actually was? The Winter Soldier was a terrifying figure, he would have not blamed her if that had been the case, yet he would have felt betrayed and disappointed. He tried to think of a moment or a small detail that showed she was just trying to act her way out of a dangerous situation, but nothing came to his mind. She was surprised, of course, but after that initial shock, she was back to her normal self. She even wanted to see him more intimately. Was it because she didn’t feel safe anymore? Could she possibly act so flawlessly and show no fear while trying to get away? A part of him didn't believe that couldn’t be true. She was one of the most authentic people he met, even though they did not actually meet in person. That was why he was pulled towards her this much. Another part of him thought this is basically her job. She had to look convincing enough, but looking and acting were completely two different things, and Bucky wasn’t sure of anything anymore. He was so focused on trying to find a logical explanation for everything that he almost didn't hear his phone ring. 

When Bucky grabbed back his phone, he saw the name Sam Wilson on the screen. He didn’t feel like answering, but Sam was stubborn as usual. He called him back again in a second, and Bucky had no choice but to answer at the end.

“Hey, Buck. You ready buddy? I’m on my way and I can give you a lift.”

Bucky made an unintelligible sound, not knowing how to answer. He already forgot about the meeting and the time.

“Please, tell me you are ready. The meeting is in half an hour.”

“I am.” He finally managed to say something back. His own voice sounded robotic and the words were forced, but he had to go through this day to find a way to reach Bunny. Maybe he could ask for Fury’s help to locate her. It would take a lot of convincing, but he would do it for her. To make sure she was safe and sound. To do that, he had to go to this briefing. 

“Okay, I’ll be there in 5.”

***

As Bucky and Sam finally arrived at the SHIELD headquarters, Bucky muttered a simple thank you. They didn't talk much during the ride, which wasn’t unusual, yet Sam suspected something was wrong. Bucky was usually calm and collected. He wouldn't engage in small talk or chat about random topics, but this time he seemed nervous. Sam wanted to ask what was wrong, but after all the time they spent together, he knew it was better to just wait for a sign. That was always more effective. Bucky would recoil into his shell like a freaking turtle if you made a move too soon, and that was the last thing they needed.

As for Bucky, he couldn't stop wondering about all the possibilities in the world and what he should do next. He would have to talk to Fury privately, ask for help, and get out of this mission. After that, he would go on whatever mission they decided to throw his way. No problem. None at all. Just let me be sure she is fine.

While still thinking about the plan in his mind, Bucky found an empty spot in the meeting room and sank down. He was checking his phone regularly to see if there was anything from Bunny or if maybe her profile would be back up, but no. There was nothing at all, and his worry was growing every second. He had no idea how he was supposed to go through this meeting at all.

“Ladies and gentlemen, we are about to end one of the biggest undercover operations in the history of SHIELD.” Fury’s voice got the attention of everyone in the room. “We are going to hit HYDRA where it hurts the most. Innocents will be saved by cutting HYDRA’s biggest financial income. It doesn't get any better than this.” Fury talking about HYDRA got Bucky out of his own head for a second. “This operation has been going on for quite some time and there’s no one better than Agent Elvisa to explain the details before we get to action.” Fury turned his eyes to the side, moving his hand up to introduce the mysterious agent. What Bucky didn't expect was to see Bunny, in flesh and blood, right in front of him. She was wearing a generic SHIELD uniform, her hair neatly tied up in a ponytail, looking composed.

“Thank you, Director Fury.” Hearing her silky voice made Bucky realize he wasn’t dreaming. His eyes widened when he realized he was really standing there, looking perfect in that ugly outfit. He could feel a hole forming in his stomach while Agent Elvisa started to explain the details. She was actively trying to avoid meeting his eyes while talking, showing some statistics and the essential, but Bucky couldn’t hear anything. His ears were ringing.

Since Bunny kept avoiding the eye contact with him, Bucky’s glance turned over to Natasha. She was the one who suggested her, after all. Did she know about this? The woman who he thought was a complete stranger was actually a SHIELD agent. There was no way Natasha did not know this. Was this all an elaborate prank? Maybe orchestrated by Natasha. That would make perfect sense.

Bucky understood that HYDRA was making a lot of money from their human trafficking network, and SHIELD was about to destroy it. He would have loved to focus more on the details since this would have been a personal case for him in another context. He was one of their victims after all. Yet his palms were sweating as he thought about confronting her. Even when he tried hard to understand, his brain didn’t compute any of the information she was giving. It was too loud, too uncomfortable. He felt thirsty and nauseous at the same time.

After the meeting was over, Bucky jolted out of his seat to catch her. He needed a second to talk to her, privately, to understand what the fuck was going on. He thought he deserved that much explanation before going on another mission after everything that happened between them. 

She was talking to someone, but Bucky didn’t pay attention to their conversation. He stopped right next to her, invading all of her personal space without considering how it might look from the outside.

“We need to talk.” His voice was so harsh, it made her flinch. She looked up and met his eyes for the first time, and he could clearly see she was uncomfortable. 

“She was…” The man she was talking to tried to interject, but Bucky was having none of it.

“I’m talking to Agent Elvisa.” God, the way he said her name was stone-cold. It sounded like he wanted to spit her name out. He subtly grabbed her arm. “We need to talk. Right now.”

***

Bucky’s hand didn’t leave her arm until they were tucked inside the closest empty office. He was trying to control himself, but it was so hard when a million questions were running through his head. Yet, he managed to choose one to ask.

“Why?” His eyes were like two daggers.

“Why what?” She managed to say back, a little terrified.

“Why did you do this to me?” The way Bucky asked the question broke her heart. She could hear the disappointment, the pain and betrayal in his voice. “I just need to know why you did this to me.”

“What are you talking about? What did I do to you?” She looked completely clueless, and it hurt Bucky even more. “Look I know…” She tried to explain, but he didn’t let her.

“Was this a joke? Did Natasha put you up to this?” He talked so fast and harshly. “Or was this a bet between co-workers?” She was silent. Completely silent. Trying to understand what he was talking about.

“You think I played with you?” She asked the question like she couldn’t believe him. 

“Didn’t you, Agent Elvisa?” Again, her code name sounded so harsh on his lips. She wasn’t Bunny anymore.

“Playing with you was never my intention.”

“But you did it anyway.” God, he sounded so broken, on the verge of a breakdown.

“I didn’t even know I was talking to you until last night, Bucky.” She was getting emotional, but Bucky wasn’t in the state to notice it. “I could never…”

“You could never what? Make a fool of me? Break my heart? What did you think would happen when you decided to show up and give a presentation in that freaking room?” He raised his hand to point toward the general direction of the meeting room.

“I didn’t know you would be here!” She finally snapped and started to yell back. “I didn’t know I was talking to you until last night! Did you even listen to me back there?”

Bucky looked all lost, trying to understand why that would matter right now.

“I was on an undercover mission all this time. It had nothing to do with you! You think I made a fake account and started creating content just to mess with you? Why would I do that?”

“I… I don’t know.” He didn’t know anything. All he came up with was a list of possibilities.

“I have been doing this for months! I’m trying to catch those bastards, trying to look convincing enough and make them pay for what they did!” She stopped for a second, trying to collect herself. She didn’t want to cry. Not right then. “You think you are so important that I would create a whole ass account instead of just coming and asking you out?”

Her question silenced him for a second, making him wonder what the last sentence meant.

“What did you just say?” 

Right at that moment, someone knocked on the door and stuck their head inside.

“Sergeant Barnes, we have to leave in 10 minutes.”

He didn’t even look their way. “I’m in the middle of something!” It was so harsh yet attractive.

“I know, but Director Fury…”

“Just tell him I need 5 more minutes.” The determination in his tone shook the agent and he left without saying anything in return. As soon as Bucky heard the door close, he repeated his question.

“What did you just say?”

“I don’t know what kind of sick game is going on, but I’m assuming you know I have a crush on you. Maybe Nat told you. I.. don’t know, but I would never do something like this. Not to you, not to anyone. I’d just ask you out and get rejected with pride.”

“You had a crush on me?” He couldn’t believe what she was saying.

“You… didn’t know?”

“No.” They both looked so confused.

“I assumed that you did.” She awkwardly looked around.

“Nope.”

The door was opened without a knock this time and both of them turned their heads simultaneously.

“Buck-” Sam couldn’t even finish his sentence. The double death glare startled him.

“For god's sake! I just need 5 minutes of privacy before I go there and fight. Is that too much to ask?” 

“Okay, man, calm down. I’ll tell Fury.” He quickly looked at Bunny and then at Bucky before closing the door behind him. Both Bucky and Bunny turned their eyes to each other.

“Okay, look… I didn’t play with you.” She started to explain. “No one put me up on a mission to mess with you. I don’t know if this is a twisted game of fate or something else, but I didn’t know you would be involved in this operation, okay?”

“It’s Romanoff’s doing.” He finally put two plus two together, and she nodded slowly. It made sense to her, too. Then they heard Fury talking outside, and they knew that the time was running out.

“We don’t have time for this.” She stated while running her hand through her hair. “Just know that I was going to explain everything after the operation. That’s why I said what I said yesterday.”

Before he could answer her, the door opened once again. No knocking, no hesitation. Bucky was about to yell at them not to interrupt once again, but Fury was standing on the door sill, looking uneasy.

“Barnes, we have no time for…” His eyes darted between both of them. “...whatever this is. We have to leave before it’s too late.”

“Fine.” He finally responded after a short while. “I’m coming, but this conversation is not over, Agent Elvisa.”

“I’ll be waiting, Sergeant Barnes.”

Next Chapter >>>

***

taglist (I tried to tag everyone who showed interest in chapter two. If you would rather not be included please let me know.)

@geminiflanagansblog @sadg1rlsei @lia-winther @nanikio @barnesboo1967 @chinaza444 @kaitlin013106 @ryanmxrie @steverogers-wife @weaselbeedisneygeek @tilltheendofthelinepal9950 @happyxdayxbitch @marvelogic @wintasssoldier @buckybarnessimpp @marvelsbitchh @alright-i-guesss @almosttoopizza @rabbitrabbit12321 @cookielovesbook-akie  @whalien52bbgrl @cjand10 @scifinerd1818 @dellalyra @capswife @netherqueen23 @beware-my-thorns @freegardenbanananeck @iamstevessmile @raven1234321 @divadinag @noisesinthedark @amanda-says @ozwriterchick @sleyeveryday @arsonfrogger @lfaewrites @alana4610 @amberpanda99 @splendidreads @acatwriteshere

#bucky barnes #bucky barnes x reader #bucky barnes x female reader #bucky barnes smut #bucky barnes au #bucky barnes fanfiction #bucky barnes x you #bucky barnes x y/n #bucky barnes imagine #marvel x reader #sebastian stan #marvel fanfiction #bucky barnes angst #bucky barnes x yn #bucky x female yn #winter soldier #bucky barnes fluff #bucky x you #my stories #unconventional methods

[loopy777]

Is Zuko a Gary Stu? A lot more people are becoming anti-Zuko especially after the comics. Thoughts?

Well, it depends how we're defining "Gary Stu." I tend to prefer a strict definition for it and "Mary Sue," that of a self-insert wish-fulfillment character. I also don't personally consider it to necessarily be a negative; one of my favorite fictional characters is George Lucas' Flash Gordon Gary Stu, Luke Skywalker.

But the common internet usages for the term typically translates to "character favored by the narrative and/or storyteller(s) to a degree that harms the story." So I'll address both definitions.

I don't think Zuko is any kind of wish-fulfillment character in the AtLA cartoon, nor do I think the narrative shows him any favoritism. In fact, I'd say the story goes out of its way to make things harder for Zuko than the basic character arc demands. It could've had him switch sides at the end of Book Earth, and I don't think there would have been much complaining. Likewise, the story could have had gAang come around to him a lot sooner in Book Fire, rather than spending entire episodes (and in Sokka's case a two-parter) reconciling him with the gAang one-by-one. I think his character arc is improved and given more impact by the desire to cover this extra rocky ground, although I also think 'The Boiling Rock' didn't need to be a two-parter and all of early Book Fire's filler episodes with the gAang should have been relocated to after Zuko's defection so that they'd have the added interest of showcasing the expanded gAang's new dynamic.

Ah, but then we get to the comics. I'm going to assume we're talking about Gene Yang's comics specifically, since Zuko has not appeared substantially in anything written by anyone else. It's easy to harp on these comics' use and treatment of Zuko, but I want to be clear that they're poorly written on pretty much every level. The dialogue is bad. Major plot threads are abandoned without comment. Everyone is mischaracterized. The humor is more juvenile than anything in the cartoon. What stories are told spin their wheels until they get wrapped up in a rush. There's bad, racist, pro-colonialism messages baked into them all. Etc and so on.

And yes, I do think these comics favor Zuko to their detriment and his. Gene Yang has admitted that Zuko is his favorite character in the cast. But even if he hadn't, we can see in 'The Promise' that the presentation has a lopsided preference for Zuko over Aang, the other main character of the story. Zuko is not portrayed as wrong for pressuring Aang to promise to kill him, despite Aang being uncomfortable with it and the whole idea being against Aang's major beliefs; compare that to the cartoon, where Zuko was portrayed as wrong and bullying in his attitude to try to get Aang to kill Ozai. In the matter of the former Fire Nation colonies, Aang and Zuko have opposing approaches, but rather than the story taking the stance that they need to compromise and mix'n'match their ideas, Zuko gets to utter the line, "I was right all along," while Aang has to be lectured by Katara, admit to being wrong, compromise with the Air Acolytes, and break off his relationship with his ghost mentor.

In 'The Search,' Zuko goes on to find his mother and learn her backstory, something that ends up not troubling or challenging him at all. She gives up her new identity to become his doting mother again and Zuko doesn't have a single doubt about it. He gets an adoring little sister in the form of Kiyi, despite her having a real problem with her mother choosing to become Ursa instead of keeping her familiar form. And his questionable treatment of Azula is not addressed; like Aang in 'The Promise,' she's the one who has to compromise (or in this case refuses to compromise).

You can see the pattern here of Zuko's presentation. This is where we can start to question if Zuko is Gene Yang's self-insert, but to do so, we would have to assume a lot of stuff about Gene Yang. For example, he breaks up Zuko's romance with Mai and then starts hinting at something with him and Suki; does that mean Gene Yang wants to date Suki? Then why bring Mai back so prominently in 'Smoke & Shadow' and then both go easy on her mistakes and break her up from Kei Lo at the end? Maybe Gene Yang wants a harem with both Suki and Mai, but if that's the case, then it's pretty odd that he ends his run on the comics with Zuko dating neither.

We could do the same for other aspects of Zuko's presentation (Does Yang want a tiny powerful Firebender as a little sister? Does he think all colonizers are awesome? Does he advocate denying first-amendment rights in times of danger? Is his favorite food to eat at winter time extra-spicy fire noodles?) But we'd probably run into similar questions we can't answer, leaving us to either assume way too much that would likely be wrong or admit that it doesn't matter.

Which brings us back to the much simpler idea of the character being favored beyond what is warranted. That helps with examining 'Smoke & Shadow,' where Zuko is actually portrayed as making some wrong choices for once in all of Yang's run of comics, like ordering his people's homes invaded and trashed on a vague hope that he'll find some information about Azula- but before that, he's somehow enlightened enough to make rainbow fire, and afterward, he solves everything with a quick apology to his people.

Usually, the narratives ignore Zuko's flaws and twist themselves into weird shapes to justify things. It's like Gene Yang started with the intentions of having Zuko make mistakes and grow over the course of the various stories, but then chickens out, so we're left with themes that feel incomplete or outright harmful. Zuko doesn't need to grow beyond his desire to have a Fire Nation elite (and their pet Earth Kingdom spouses and servants) rule over the former colonies forever, he gets to say, "I was right all along." He starts by locking Azula away in a straight-jacket, but then doesn't find a way to reconcile with her and treat her more humanely, because she goes fully homicidal and then runs away so he doesn't need to deal with her. But in 'Smoke & Shadow,' we get one example where, probably because Yang doesn't see it as that bad in the first, Zuko is allowed to temporarily be wrong before returning to a state of grace.

I think Gene Yang is trying to tell good Avatar stories. But, among his (many, many, many) mistakes, I think he's letting his favor for Zuko influence the stories he's trying to tell. He's trying to give his favorite character juicy dramatic material that lets him grow into an even more awesome character- but then he shies away from depicting his favorite in too harsh a light, ruining the whole thing.

The stories don't feel like they're going anywhere with him, despite him being a main character.

So if that fits with your definition of "Gary Stu," then yes, Zuko has become one in the comics. But he didn't start as one in the cartoon, and I don't think Gene Yang writes stories out of a desire for his favorite to marry Suki because Sword Girlfriend > Knife Wife.

Perhaps that's he never got Maiko back together; he likes Mai too much to make her the one in the wrong, but then that would mean Zuko needs to learn and grow, and that can't be right. ;)

#anonymous #avatar comics critical #atla comics critical #comics critical

[theflyindutchwoman]

I can't go back to the apartment -- his empty room… You don't have to. You can stay with me. I don't want to impose. No, Lucy, you shouldn't be alone right now.

| ANATOMY OF A SCENE - CHENFORD EDITION 4.01 - Life and Death

There is something in this scene that in many ways feels like a redo of The Dark Side/Day of Death… Tim's suggestion that Lucy shouldn't be alone or go home after the haunting day they've just had, has a similar vibe to his advice back then… The difference is that, this time, he makes sure he is the one there for her… that she stays with him. It's also how calm he is here, in complete contrast to the feral man he was when she was missing. All his focus is turned towards her. The way he's looking at her when they both leave roll-call together, already watching out for her, trying to gauge how she's faring with everything… Her well-being is his priority, period.

Her reluctance to go back to her apartment, scared of seeing Jackson's empty room, is so devastating. And it makes Tim's steadiness even more important : he doesn't even hesitate before inviting her to stay with him. It actually looks like he was already thinking about it, when she mentioned going home, as if he was trying to find a way to broach the subject. He is so gentle with her, so casual about his invitation, trying not to make her uncomfortable or feel pushed. The fact that he is the only one who apparently considered this detail is very interesting in terms of storytelling… It underlines the shift in the different dynamics and relationships. For three seasons, the focus was on how close the rookies were : it would have been perfectly natural for Nolan to step in and ask Lucy if she wanted to stay at his place… To mourn their best friend together. Having Tim take that role is a subtle way of showing how she is starting to gravitate towards him more and more instead, bringing them much closer.

Lucy looks so touched by his offer, giving him an out, afraid of being an imposition, of him being just polite. He doesn't take it though, instead emphasising how she shouldn't be alone in a time like this. And truthfully, this is as much for her as it is for him. She definitely shouldn't go home in their empty apartment that will only remind her of Jackson's death - I'm assuming that Tamara is staying at a friend's. But I don't think Tim wanted to be alone either. Taking care of her means that he can focus on something else than the events of the day. But most of all : he's already lost a coworker, his best friend is missing… There is no way he is going to let her out of his sight if he can. Not after what happened the last time. Not when Angela's kidnapping has to bring back memories of Lucy's. Not when he spent so many times beating himself up and feeling responsible for what happened to her. Having her with him at his place would actually lessen his worry… especially since she could still potentially be a target, as she was the one who arrested La Fiera in the first place… He isn't going to take any chance this time around. Just like Grey doesn't take the risk of sending her to Guatemala with the rest of the team for the rescue.

This invitation really shows the progression of their relationship. His gentleness, her little thanks, showing how much she is moved by his attention… Setting the stage for that beautiful moment at his place.

#the rookie #chenford #chenfordedit #lucy chen #tim bradford #4.01 #Anatomy of a scene - Chenford Edition

[solradguy]

Mr. Badguy I have a question as a guilty gear lore baby. I have been told sol/ky is problematic and I do not know why I fear. Could you please explain

Oh boy. I'm probably not the best person to ask about what ships are and aren't problematic because I honestly... just don't have the energy to care about it that much, it's like infinitely easier to block/blacklist and then move on. I don't know how people have the free time to get as worked up about it as they do.

Anyway. So, Ky's age before Missing Link (the earliest in the timeline of the games' stories) is generally the biggest problem. He was 20 in ML and a teenager through the Crusades. I think he was probably at least 18 near the end of the Crusades right before Sol left but that's pushing it. Anything with Ky and Order Sol's bad weird. I won't argue that at all, Ky was a kid and Sol was very much an adult, on top of the physical and mental power imbalance between them. Not good. Luckily, I really only see HOS/Ky stuff from the really early fandom (<2006) and IIRC their ages were still pretty vague back then so I'm just gonna chalk it up to no one knowing, especially in the EN fandom where it was a lot harder to find/get official information.

Between Missing Link to like late GGX/early GGXX I don't see what the problem with shipping them then is; they were both adults at that point and there wasn't even the power dynamic between them that there was during their Holy Order days. This, I think, really just comes down to personal reasons for not liking it. Which is fair.

After GGXX it gets... complicated.... Ky marries Sol's daughter but it's vague on when exactly Sol pieced it together that he even had a kid and that it was Dizzy, of all people. Ky definitely did not know she was Sol's kid until at least like partway through Xrd, when they both kind of put the pieces together and had a crisis over it. So shipping them after this point, between the timelines of Overture through Strive, you've got the issue of Sol now being Ky's father-in-law.

But the canon never straight up says Dizzy is Sol's kid (it is VERY HEAVILY implied though) and Sol and Ky both end up being dads together for Sin...?? It's like ASW is playing gay chicken with whether or not Sol and Ky are still shippable from an ethical standpoint lol Whatever that saying is about having a cake and eating it too, etc.

I saw the email for this ask this morning and I presented the Sol/Ky situation to my mom as if they were real people (she doesn't know anything about GG) and she was like, "That's a hell of a love triangle but I guess if the guy (Ky) and the daughter (Dizzy) got divorced and the daughter is alright with it, and it's consensual between the men, then it's weird but it's not as bad as some other relationships I've seen."

That's kind of how I feel about it too...? It's messy as fuck lmfao But I guess if there's a way to like write it so that Dizzy doesn't end up needing lifetime therapy then like... go for it....? I guess....???

I don't ship Sol/Ky because I think their dynamic is WAAAYYYY more interesting keeping them as rivals-turned-friends, and I like Dizzy too much; there's too big a chance of her ending up getting completely devastated by it. But as far as "problematic" Guilty Gear ships go, Sol/Ky's in the like... "People are wasting time arguing about this?" tier, imo. It being Thee biggest GG ship throughout the series' entire history is something to be considered, too. It's unavoidable, even the official art contributes sometimes. I often wonder why they decided to make it weird by throwing Dizzy into the mix because I know that, from digging through old forum archives, that change made a lot of people furious hahah

Disclaimer because the reading comprehension on this website is abysmal: I DON'T SHIP SOL/KY. IT'S FUNNY AS A JOKE BECAUSE IT'S AWKWARD BUT I DON'T SHIP IT IN SERIOUS CONTEXTS BECAUSE IT'S JUST NOT THAT GREAT A SHIP AND THE FATHER-IN-LAW THING MAKES ME A LITTLE UNCOMFORTABLE.

#asks #Sighing as I yet again walk into the lion's den posting something like this

[idealisticrealism]

TCL 3x05 thoughts

The main things:

This ep starts literally immediately after last ep ended, and then takes place over 2 full days

Looks like Thony and Jorge swapped numbers at some point lol; I guess Dante got tired of being the go-between haha. But for a guy that was so concerned yesterday about Thony missing her interview, he sure seems chill about pulling her away today… only to have nothing for her but an unintentionally murdered guy and an uncomfortable fight with his sister lol. That’s a bit embarrassing for you there, Jorge! I like that he later ended the business call about Nadia’s payout to be able to answer her, and then followed through on her request to talk to Ramona on her behalf. And then she shows up at his office– did she google him or did he actually tell her where to find him??-- and tries to convince him to nullify the Amber Alert, and ngl I enjoy the fact that much of their dynamic so far is basically Thony either ordering or begging him to do something, and him being like “No” and making some mocking remark to her about it… and then later doing exactly what she asked/suggested lol. Thony (and especially the potent combination of Thony and Luca) really does have some kind of magic power over the men of this family… though Arman seemed to accept it far more quickly and eagerly than Jorge, who’s still half-heartedly trying to resist haha. But then again, the man still showed up at her court hearing and not only provided the exact thing she asked for, but he also stayed to see the outcome and her reaction?? Like I’m absolutely hearing Nadia’s words to Arman rn: “You love the way she looks at you when you do these things for her. When you are her hero”... Jorge got his first real taste of that during the last ep, and looks like he already wants more haha

Thony and Ramona are clashing more and more which is potentially going to be very problematic for Thony when they lose Arman and she is no longer shielded by her connection to him… but I guess that’s when Jorge’s growing regard for her is going to come into play, and create an interesting divide with the siblings…

Poor Thony reliving the trauma of losing Luca, only even more terrifying this time because instead of Marco (who sucked but was at least relatively safe), he could be with someone who intends to hurt him. “We’ve been down this road before” yeah in more ways than one

“You and Armando will work together, so when I’m gone…(etc)” okay this is a very odd statement for a 50-something to make??? And she later says something about bringing Arman home ‘while there’s still time’-- time for him, or her?? Like is Ramona secretly dying and that’s why she’s so determined to get Arman back, so Jorge will still have family watching over him? Surely the writers wouldn’t use a plotline like that though, not given how we lost Adan…….? 

Okay let’s all pretend that we believe that a 6 year old kid, who had barely experienced the world outside his own bedroom before a few months ago, managed to navigate the streets of a major city on foot to a location that’s a 10 minute drive away, and then also somehow snuck into a large public facility undetected and didn't raise red flags as an unaccompanied kid hanging there for hours lol

Ugh so much love for the courtroom scene and the fam all giving their testimony. I love that they were all clearly ready to commit perjury if needed (eg by covering up Thony’s shady activities if asked about it) and that they also said such beautiful, heartfelt things, because god did Thony need to hear those things. After everything she has gone through, and everything that her actions to protect Luca put the rest of the family through, she’d clearly started to question (like we saw in the kitchen earlier with Fi)  whether she is actually truly good– a good mother, a good family member, and a good person in general– or if she only brings pain to those around her.  The forgiveness and support of her family doesn’t erase what she’s done, but it is going to be a huge part of how she moves forward and grows as a person, and I’m really looking forward to seeing more of that journey.

I also loved that the people trying to take Luca away were two crusty old guys, while Thony’s lawyer (who looked like she was trying not to cry when Thony did her big speech), and the judge, and of course Susan (who, while on the CPS side, is actually fairly impartial and in some ways shows a lot of regard for Thony, and didn’t raise an objection even though she could have) are all women. It feels like a subtle nod to the themes of both motherhood and women supporting other women in this show, and that’s really cool. 

Other stuff:

Congrats to Fi for finally getting to have her own Traumatised Showering Scene haha, I think Thony has had at least 2 or 3 by this point. But I did feel for Fi and Chris that they barely even got to begin to unpack what happened to them because things were just immediately about Luca. Also ngl that music/voiceover combo right at the start with the abrupt fadeout was a bit weird lol

“Sometimes I wish I was a turtle, so I could hide in my shell” #relatable

Love the sweet JD/Fi stuff, though this dude needs to recognise his place in the family hierarchy and not make calls that aren’t his to make lol. Leave the dealing with big important stuff to the women, buddy, you’re out of your depth!  

Speaking of dudes messing things up… seriously Dante? Accidentally killing the best lead your bosses have to getting their relative back? That’s embarrassingly amateurish. Unless there’s actually more going on here than we realise, and he did it deliberately to keep the guy from talking??

Ok seriously how many doors lead outside from Luca’s room?? I know it’s a converted sun-room and not a proper bedroom, but still, they should at least be locked if not also securely barricaded. Geez.

Ah the many facets of Jorge, comfortable in a homeless camp and while torturing a guy in a warehouse, but also in a courtroom and a fancy corner office, and also while kneeling in a kitchen doorway to earnestly accept a gift of a cupcake from a 5 year old lol

Thony always tells Luca she’s never going to let anything bad happen to him… but uhhh, a little too late there, don’t you think Thony? Poor kid has been through more ‘bad things’ than most adults, and most of them have happened within the last 6 months lol

Lol at Thony trying to tell the officer to drop the charges against Dante and he’s just like ‘nope’ haha. I bet she really misses her surgeon days when she could just give orders and people would follow them without question

No Nadia this week! Honestly it felt weird not to see her; it really feels like she is part of the family now, and I’m looking forward to more of her and Thony working together

Goddamn I really gotta learn Spanish.

#The Cleaning Lady #TCL recaps #TCL spoilers #The cleaning lady spoilers #ngl I liked the ep fine #but I felt weird and empty after watching it #or maybe it was more after watching next week's promo #I think I'm just not ready for the distractions of the Fi & Chris plot and the Luca plot to be over #and to have to face what happens next with Arman #sigh there's gonna be a lot of tears next week I just know it

[lemon-box]

My ideal scooby doo gang dynamic and their respective guiding personality traits:

Fred: AUTISTIC HIMBO WITH PARENTAL ISSUES & A SPECIAL INTEREST IN TRAPS! Pretty obvious, I basically think the mystery inc version of Fred is the most perfect one, minus the obsessive behavior he had towards Daphne in early season 2… I don’t think enough people talk about that side of MI Fred? It was honestly pretty uncomfortable, I think we could write it differently while still keeping the “I have abandonment/attachment issues w my girlfriend and it’s impacting us both” message. Either way, Fred is the himbo leader who owns the mystery machine, loves his friends, is reliable, and serves as comedic relief as well. He’s interested in mysteries because they’re the best way to make use of his traps & test out new ones.

Daphne: Daphne needs to be the one with social skills. That’s the one thing she has that the others don’t: she can network, has connections, and can use her parents’ infinite pool of money to just make any accommodations happen? Despite that she’s still very sweet, considerate, and one of the main 3 clue finders (them being Daphne, Shaggy, and Scooby). I don’t really mind her being in love with Fred or Velma (sorry Shaphne shippers), but I don’t think love interests should be necessary for any of the characters. In one of Daphne’s character profiles released in 1999, it stated that her life ambition is to become a mystery novel author. AND I ABSOLUTELY ADORE THAT I CANNOT STRESS THIS ENOUGH!!! That is such an easy yet clever way to not only give her more depth as a character but curiosity & motivation for these dangerous situations as well, I think it’s such a shame that no scooby doo media that I’ve seen has utilized that for her :(. Daphne is a people person, is resourceful, athletic, and the resident fashion expert. She’s interested in mysteries because they help & inspire her with her writing.

Velma: Velma is the dork nerd with a tumblr blog on mysteries/unsolved cases and is an absolute academic weapon. You KNOW she took AP chemistry in freshman year and got at least a 4 on the exam. She’s super smart, confident, her only hobbies are studying and solving mysteries, and I think she has the least social skills out of everyone which makes it a really fun dynamic with Daphne! She’s very observant, serious, and despite how hard it is for her to show affection, she really loves her friends, they’re her found family after all. I don’t really like iterations of Velma where she thinks everyone around her is an idiot and it feels like she actually hates the gang. If we can portray her as a teen with trouble showing affection instead of a teen who actually doesn’t feel it, I think the anger issues she had in MI could work really well. Velma is a nerd with sass, biggest believer in ghosts/monsters, walking encyclopedia, and dependent on her friends to get through when she can’t find a solution. She’s interested in mysteries because she is a naturally curious person who’s hungry for knowledge and for a chance to study the supernatural.

Shaggy (and scooby): Shaggy is the anxiety ridden, emotion driven anchor of the group. Yet despite his overwhelming feelings he’s the one who keeps everyone grounded. Everyone else gets so carried away with investigations, clues, and their ambition that they forget where the line is sometimes. But Shaggy is unaffected by that, at the end of the day he seeks security and safety, and he can remind everyone to stop and consider new perspectives. That makes him great at finding clues, him and scooby are always looking where the others aren’t, especially using scoob’s sense of smell and shaggy’s sense of taste. In the 2020 scoob movie they described them as the heart of the group, and in one scene daphne said “with shaggy and scooby gone there was no one to remind us to eat lunch…” AND THAT’S EXACTLY IT. THEY’RE COMEDIC RELIEF, THEY BRING EVERYONE TOGETHER, AND THEYRE GOOD AT FINDING CLUES. I also love iterations of Shaggy where he’s a chef. It’s not his lifelong passion, but he loves food so he loves making it, both for himself and everyone else. He believes food tastes better when shared with others. Shaggy is interested in mysteries because despite the dangerous situations, he feels emotionally safe around his friends, and he also likes traveling if it means he gets to add more food profiles to his palette! Solving mysteries allows him to grow not only as a person, but grow out of his very sheltered life which left him rather naive about the world, but he doesn’t know that yet :) thats where the character development comes in.

Short Scooby part: Along with Shaggy Scooby is a big part of the heart. He’s basically everyone’s emotional support dog, especially shaggy’s, and as a dog he can’t help but go where his weird nose takes him. He brings everyone together, is loyal to his empathy, and he’s interested in mysteries because he’s just happy to be around his friends. I think MI gave him a much bigger and more important role than scooby has ever had before, and frankly I think that’s an excellent use of his character, he makes for a great plot device, I need writers to utilize that.

#i think scooby doo is a special interest of mine- #i know the scooby doo revival has passed since velma hbo is no longer relevant #but i am literally always thinking about scooby doo #scooby doo mystery incorporated #scooby doo #mystery incorporated #fred jones #daphne blake #velma #shaggy #scooby

[vintageseawitch]

if there are any twilight book sequels written then published, i promise to look up spoilers because if i find out the Volturi decide to create hybrids of their own (🤢🤮) then i will refuse to read let alone own them. as curious as Aro may be about it, it's horrendous that he would try it out himself. the creation of hybrids is legitimately terrifying body horror to me & even Aro's "indifference" towards humans doesn't automatically make him a psychopath about this sort of thing.

Aro, despite his penchant for ruthlessness, is a softie, too. i like to imagine the thought of putting a uterus-owner through such a specific & horrific form of torture fills him with revulsion & guilt. yes, humans are red-eyed vampires' food, but even humans get disturbed at the thought of animals they consume going through needless pain especially for selfish reasons.

at this point the canon of this silly franchise means approximately shit to me so if smeyers decides to make her refined, considerably more interesting clan of vampires into true monsters, she can fuck right off because they deserve better than that. they're not villains simply because they're doing what is natural to them & the Cullens are a creepier cult than the Volturi will ever be. at least everyone knows that the three kings are dangerous. the Cullens are too busy being gentrified hypocrites (completely beige & lacking a good, old-fashioned dungeon & set of coffins... the dark drama is what draws us to vampires in the first place & someone like Forever Emo Teenager McWalking Red Flag scoffs at such things like a good little boring creeper on top of them actually not giving a damn about humans considering how in midnight sun it's clear they wouldn't have batted an eye at killing bella because said little boring creeper - or the prodigal son 🙄 - can barely control himself around her like it's her problem to deal with. glob i hate that & his losing control around her would make their "lives" a Little Bit Uncomfortable lmao) with Whatever The Fuck Weird Dynamic they have going on.

if anyone would be cruel anyways, it would be Caius out of the three kings, but i refuse to believe even he would go that far. a part of it is the thought of needing to be close to a human like that would disgust him but another is at least when they feed it's quick. if anyone is to endure a terribly long torture it would be Nahuel's biological father because he's a real monster. like, yes, somehow the Volturi never found out about hybrids, but they never went & tried to find out what would happen themselves.

i like to think the more the three kings researched it the more horrified they would be, but that could just be my biases & preferences showing. bella & edward's daughter displays disturbingly similar compulsory "abilities" or however one would describe them like Immortal Children because everyone's sudden pull to her after she touched them is WAY too similar to the enchantment vampires experience around the latter type of child so i think the Volturi (especially Jane) would be weirded out by that connection considering how long they've studied them.

i'm not saying every hybrid is like bella & edward's kid, but i'm pretty sure Aro noticed that neither she nor the rest of the family really like or trust the Volturi that much PLUS the Romanians are some of her favorite vamps. pretty sure that has put the Volturi on their guard (so to speak) (also Carlisle what the FUCK why are you being so weird about the Volturi. why tf does edward have his stupid attitude about them whyyyy make them your enemy especially considering the drama in new moon & eddie blatantly disrespecting the ancient group by expecting them to be Suicide Assistance as though that's what they're there for & have nothing better to do & Aro doing you a MASSIVE favor). ya know, as pretty as he's portrayed in the movies, i'm liking him as a character less & less (he's the biggest hypocrite of them all & playing a dangerous game of delusions - like hun, sorry, but no matter how much you pretend, you are not a human any longer & maybe you don't realize it (or WANT to) but you totally think you're better than humans seeing as you bend their rules especially if it's for your extremely problematic red-headed "son" - but THEN AGAIN you're certainly good at wiping out local wildlife like big predators so maybe you're more like humans than you think & i mean that as a slur).

i totally get derailed in my little rants on here & i'm only a little bit embarrased since this is pretty much how my brain works & how i talk lmao so tl;dr if the Volturi become the worst kind of monsters in future books when it comes to hybrids (aka "making their own" 🤢🤢🤢🤮🤮🤮), smeyers can fuck right off some more & the Cullens & their creepy cult & creepier hybrid kid are the worst. i still like Emmett though even if he chooses to stick around the problematic bunch (pretty sure Carlisle has a gift as well; it's amazing that so many vampires are not only able to live with each other peacefully but rigidly stick to a diet that is unnatural to their kind - a kind of creature that follows their instincts above almost most things. oh Carlisle, you certainly transferred your wild need to repress almost too exceedingly well).

#twilight #twilight saga #twilight renaissance #new moon #eclipse #breaking dawn #opinion #anti half human half vampire #i actually really fucking hate the concept of twilight hybrids #besides how how their creation makes no damn sense #they're also only an extremely creepy plot device #volturi #the volturi #pro volturi #aro volturi #marcus volturi #caius volturi #jane volturi #carlisle cullen #edward cullen #bella swan #bella cullen #emmett cullen #rosalie hale #jasper hale #alice cullen #the cullens are creepy and that's not a compliment lmao

[reddragon-cowboy]

SHIPPING INFO // ANSWER THE FOLLOWING FOR YOUR MUSES SO PEOPLE KNOW HOW SHIPPING WORKS ON YOUR BLOG.

Tagged by: Stolen ;3

WHAT IS YOUR OTP FOR YOUR CHARACTER(S)?

At the moment I don't since my blog is fairly new, right out the womb, so I've yet to have developed an OTP for my muses at the moment. But I do find delight in the romance between my muses that's involved in my cowboy bebop fic, and based on that I can say they are my OTP of this blog. It's also encouraging to hear when friends/mutuals say they also ship them together since oc x canon are usually treated in a negative way.

But I really really love opposite attract and pred x prey dynamics; I'm drawn those tropes like a moth to a flame.

HOW LARGE DOES THE AGE GAP HAVE TO BE TO MAKE IT UNCOMFORTABLE?

I won't ship with a muse who's younger than twenty-five, bare minimum. I also prefer not to go over a twelve-year gap. Both of my muses are in their late 20's ( 27-29).

HOW FAR DO STEAMY MOMENTS HAVE TO GO BEFORE THEY ARE CONSIDERED NSFW?

When things start to get extremely heavy with petting and there's grinding involved. It veers into NSFW territory for me so I'd just fade into black. But I'd probably go to dm's for details >\\>

ARE YOU SELECTIVE WHEN SHIPPING?

Honestly. I've very selective and chemistry based. Particularly for Spike because he's like a cat, I can't force him to ship with anybody if he's not feeling it. Niah also requires chemistry but she's easier to ship with.

Usually, I don't think too much about shipping nowadays, and when I meet new people, it doesn't really cross my mind, except if I see a muse that my own might potentially like. . . which is a bit rare.

WHO ARE OTHER CHARACTERS YOU SHIP YOUR CHARACTER WITH?

At the moment, I got something going with @straye with their Kogami and my Niah (ShinNiah) which has been fun. It's such a good slow burn between them as I watch how their relationship progresses into something more. I feel like Ko really tries to relate to her on different levels and understand her at a lower depth where he sees more than what's on the surface. She wears a mask, but he seems to have no problem with wanting to lift it up to see all of what she tries to hide. They're lonely people who found each other to be alone with together.

I've yet to find someone for Spike ;3; he's soo difficult, but it would help if someone was patient with him. However, me and @junksatellites are in talks to do something! I But Spike also does have a dream sequence thing with their Faye as well if that counts, and other interactions they may find themselves in ;3

DOES ONE HAVE TO ASK TO SHIP WITH YOU?

Yeah, it's okay. But I can't guarantee if my muses may feel the same way for a particular muse.

ARE YOU SHIP OBSESSED OR SHIP MORE-OR-LESS?

I'm moreso ship more-or-less, mainly because I don't expect for people to be interested in my muses, especially Niah due to how most female oc's are treated. Shipping is also never the first reason for me to interact with a muse since I greatly value platonic/familial/antagonist relationships first. I don't auto-ship either with canon x canon since I like for things to develop naturally (usually through ic interactions or plotting ideas).

ARE YOU MULTISHIP?

Of course!

WHAT IS YOUR FAVOURITE SHIP IN YOUR CURRENT FANDOM?

I'm a huge sucker for Spike x Electra. It's my all-time favorite in the series ;3;

FINALLY, HOW DOES ONE SHIP WITH YOU?

It's important to me for muses to have chemistry with one another, but it's also equally important for there to be chemistry between muns. After that first step, see how our muses interact with one another, whether through ic or dms. If both muses are feeling something then that's a good sign, but if not :( although I am fine with unreceptive feelings to occur in a relationship.

tagging: @gumpistol @erthlyheavn @straye @perceptualephemera @junksatellites @alaikhadal @xissp @liesandalibis @dynamoprotocol @pzfr @thrillrs @kaizokugaris @dandelicn @batinstincts & whoever want to do it :3

#dash game #( ooc ) the mun.

[everythingsinred]

Let's Talk About NatsuMikan: Mikan (pt. 8)

This will be the final part of the three-part culture fest! Mikan has had a lot of fun with her friends so far. In particular, she's learned a lot about Natsume in theory but he's not really interested in painting himself in a better light. Today we will discuss how the culture fest wraps up, and especially how the very end shakes things up for Mikan when it comes to her feelings for Natsume.

<- Prev Next ->

Chapter Twenty-Three

It’s the performance day of the festival, and it’s the somatic class’ time to shine. Class B comes by despite Ruka’s insistence that they don’t, and they find out he’s opposed to their presence because he’s playing Snow White. Ruka is not happy to be under this kind of attention, likened to a “real girl,” when he never wanted the role in the first place. (And I can’t help but feel like Ruka must have ditched his culture fest duties so often to hang out with Natsume instead, not just because he wanted to make his friend feel better, but because he also hated working with Narumi on this musical.)

Mikan asks Koko about the sticky balls he bought at central town and when he offers one, she makes a comment about how she’d have nobody to throw one at, even if she took it, but she’s looking at Natsume the whole time and she does end up taking it (presumably to chuck at Natsume the next time he annoys her). 

I'm so messed up and insane about this stupid, pointless exchange. There's not anything to analyze. Why am I even writing this essay?

And then disaster strikes: the musical equipment ends up crashing and falling, the sticky balls fly everywhere, and a child only narrowly misses being crushed by a spotlight. Narumi quickly adapts and utilizes what he can of the performance, enlisting “understudies” to replace the vital actors who have been slimed by the sticky balls. 

Somehow when Mikan sees Natsume again after being pressured into playing a role for the sake of the child he’s now attached to, he’s dressed up as a wild cat!

Natsume is not Ruka. Ruka gets moody when people call him cute and girly, but all that does is encourage the attention. Natsume is scary. It doesn’t matter that he’s dressed as a cat, most people wouldn’t dare to say anything out loud because they’re afraid of how he’ll respond. Though Sumire is also unafraid, squealing over how cute he is, Mikan is boldly laughing at him. 

Nobody has been antagonized by Natsume more, but she’s still the person least afraid of him. She finally has something to tease him for, after all, and she’s not gonna miss out on the opportunity when he never misses the chance to tease her. That’s what their relationship is based on, it seems: making fun of each other. It’s interesting that Misaki’s warning to keep clear of black cats seems like it was ages ago. Mikan is long past viewing Natsume as nothing more than a terrifying menace; he’s just a rude guy she knows now. With a little time and effort, they could even be friends. She made fun of her friend Ruka, so why not tease Natsume too?

She starts petting his little cat ears, making fun of him, calling him cute, until he snaps, flicking her forehead. They end up bickering and fighting a little until he totally sells her out and volunteers her to play the role of the prince. 

I love their silly little dynamic during the culture fest. She is supposed to be ever at his mercy because of the genie thing but that doesn't stop her from annoying him anyway.

He is apparently so angry about wearing this costume that he will punish anyone for teasing him a little, even if it means using up one of his wishes. So Mikan is forced into playing the prince (a huge role) with very little prep time, and she seems to be the only one backstage opposed. She eventually gives in and dresses up in costume. 

Poor Mikan, who wasn’t really at fault for any of the chaos that took place backstage, is now in an uncomfortable position, where the success of the musical rests partially on her. But, trooper that she is, she refuses to complain about it and instead sucks it up. It’s nice that Ruka comes over, because he was also forced into his role. He promises to help her out and they agree to do their best together. This is the first example of something that will be recurring throughout the manga: Ruka being a pillar of support for Mikan. He is always willing to help her out and be there for her, even if it’s something that neither of them wants to do. 

He's so much more helpful than Narumi. At least Mikan has an ally in the somatic class or this would have been a lot worse.

Chapter Twenty-Four

Mikan has her hair down for her role, something that makes her insecure. She feels weird having her hair down and worries that it looks strange since she’s usually wearing pigtails. She asks Ruka if it looks okay, and he evades the question, pointing out the obvious--that he’s never seen her like that before. Very unhelpful. 

Self-conscious, she says she wants to put her hair up but Natsume yells at her for no reason. Luckily for her, her friend Hotaru is there, who will be blunt and tell her how it looks. When Hotaru tells her that it looks good and that she should be more confident, she finally feels better about it. What she’d wanted all along was some sort of reassurance and for some reason, boys are incapable of giving it.

Poor Mikan... This is so scary.

We can see another example here of Hotaru showing those little glimpses of kindness when it really matters. Though she begins the exchange with teasing, she becomes earnest when she realizes how much it matters to Mikan in the moment. Mikan is usually self-assured, but even a girl like her has lapses in self-confidence. Every part of this role is uncomfortable, being forced onstage with no real preparation, not being Yuri, having her hair down--it’s all far outside her comfort zone. Mikan likes being validated and reassured, especially in moments like these, so Hotaru’s compliment means a lot.

The play commences and when Mikan’s part is finally up, the audience is upset that beloved Yuri has been replaced. Mikan is insecure again. She wants to help the somatic class, but the murmuring from the audience is enough to make anybody uncomfortable. She’s lucky that the prince’s role has been narrowed for her sake, so most of the time she’s backstage, watching others perform and reacting to the inevitable chaos of Narumi being in charge of a musical. When it’s her turn again, it’s the final scene. She’s determined and doing a good job of reading the cue cards set up for her. She prepares to give Ruka a fake kiss on the forehead, but apparently Narumi wants her to smooch him on the lips for real.

That’s not anything Mikan has prepared for! It’s unfair too, because she’s doing the class a favor, and this is asking too much. Mikan is innocent, just a child. She’s never had a crush, let alone kissed somebody, and now she’s being put on the spot for something she didn’t want to do in the first place. Ruka sees the cue card and assures her that she doesn’t have to do it (and he’s able to look out for her and put her needs first because Narumi’s demands are unreasonable but also because he never cared much about the success of the play to begin with; it’s not worth it for Mikan to be forced into this), but Mikan doesn’t want to be the reason the play is ruined. She already feels guilty for not being Yuri, for not being the prince the audience wanted. She’s no actress, either, and all she wants is to make up for the sticky ball incident. So if Narumi says that’s what she’s meant to do, then even if she doesn’t want to, it would be unfair of her not to. 

Screw you, Narumi.

So she decides to do it. She won’t do it the way Narumi wants. Even if she’s complying, she’s aiming for the side of the mouth and to be quick and abortive about it. But she doesn’t even get that far, because something collides with her head, interrupting her, and the lights go dark. 

The play is over. She didn’t have to kiss Ruka. 

But even though it didn’t end up happening, it almost did, and it’s uncomfortable. 

In the anime, Ruka is a little morose, but he and Mikan make up quickly after the play. The episode ends with them having fun and even including Natsume. The chapter does not end that way. Instead, they can’t even look at each other and it’s awkward, and Natsume isn’t involved. Ruka isn’t too sad, I don’t think, because he seemed to be genuinely against Narumi’s cue card and would have understood that whoever threw the thing that interrupted Mikan did it with her best interest in mind (and Ruka’s too, because it would’ve been his first kiss too, and he also didn’t deserve to experience it in such a way). Instead, I think they’re both just uncomfortable about what almost happened at Narumi’s command. Though, Ruka might have a slightly different discomfort because of his crush on Mikan.

Ruka is so cute in these panels with his little blush.

I do think it was shitty of Narumi to do that to Mikan, bargaining off her first kiss for the sake of “sizzle.” Additionally, Ruka also didn’t want the role of the princess either, and if Ruka hadn’t peeked his eyes open to glance at the cue card and see what was keeping Mikan from continuing, he might’ve ended up ambushed with a kiss, which is also incredibly unfair to him. But I suppose in a school where exploiting kids is the norm, this would be tame compared to some of the other things kids are forced to do. It’s just unfortunate. 

Especially because all Mikan wanted to do was help. She’s not in the somatic class. She didn’t bring the sticky balls. She didn’t cause the accident backstage. But in the end, she ended up carrying a huge burden that the other Class B kids didn’t have to carry, even the ones who did bring the sticky balls. It’s just sad, if we think about that from Mikan’s point of view, how something that should have at least been romantic almost ended up being staged and pressured onto her.

Chapter Twenty-Five

We finally get confirmation on Narumi’s end that Mikan is Yuka’s daughter. He had suspected it before, and the similarities were all too much to be a coincidence, but now he’s sure. And for what. Everything is falling into place. He’s the one who brought Mikan here for his own selfish ends, but now he cares about her. He knew from the beginning that Mikan would be treated differently (and he also treated her differently, giving her a dangerous entrance exam), but now that he cares about her, he is suddenly concerned. 

But Mikan is not present for that conflict. She just watched the festival parade and is now watching the closing ceremonies, where she can finally see the headmasters for the first time, and her attention is naturally drawn to the ESP, who is a kid. Tsubasa explains not to draw their attention, because they’re sketchy, but to especially beware the ESP, the sketchiest of them all. 

Alice Academy is a crazy school. Mikan already knew that. But every new thing she learns just serves to make the school seem crazier. From her perspective, being a newcomer to a fascinating world, principals who don’t age and kids who become headmasters are just more examples of what a wacky place the school is, instead of anything genuinely concerning. 

Mikan watches the prizes get awarded. To nobody’s surprise, the technical class takes home a trophy, and even Hotaru gets awarded for her hard work. Mikan is very proud of her friend, but nobody in the SA class expects it when they too are recognized for their efforts. All of them are shocked.

Mikan and her struggle to fathom that her class's attraction (and by extension her own alice) has been appreciated to this extent.

Mikan wanted to participate in the culture fest from the beginning. She wanted to show off to the school that her class could do something amazing too (and, in doing so, also showcase that her alice wasn’t useless or selfish as she always fears it is). Their goal from the start was to have fun and help their guests have fun too. They certainly weren’t trying to get a trophy and thus never thought they’d get one.

But they did. Their efforts have been noticed and now they’re being given a shout out.

Mikan is naturally overjoyed and proud of herself. Without her, the SA class wouldn’t have put up an event at all, but because she refused to give up, they couldn’t either, and now they had a trophy to show for it.

Narumi comments on how much she’s grown. Mikan is quickly making friends and deep connections. She’s thriving, making the most of her circumstances. Yes, Mikan will be in deep waters in the future. Her life at the academy will certainly not be easy, but Narumi believes that she can make it through.

And I do believe that Mikan is thriving more here at the academy, with these friends, than she would have on her own back home. Though she’s still a newcomer to this place, she’s found ways to fit in, making more friends than she had back at her village. She misses her grandpa, of course, but she’s being allowed to grow and flourish here in a way she never would have if she’d stayed.

When Mikan and Narumi see each other, he congratulates her and gives her a surprise: a letter from Jii-chan.

Natsume told her not to trust any teachers, but Narumi has been doing his best to prove he can be trustworthy.

A long time ago, Narumi told Mikan to trust him, to believe that he will do what he can to fix things. And now he has the letter in his hand. This is his proof, his reward to her for her faith in him. She can trust that after that fateful night, her letters have been delivered. Natsume warned her not to trust any teachers at the school, but so far her trust is paying off. 

Chapter Twenty-Six

Time for one of my favorite chapters in the whole manga. This is the chapter I’ve been waiting for. 

This is the last day of the festival, the day of the after-party. Mikan finds out that there’s a legend surrounding the after-party, specifically that dancing with somebody at the Last Dance means you’ll be together forever. There’s three big romantic hook-up events at the academy (the Last Dance, the Christmas Ball masquerade, and Valentine’s Day, I’m assuming, particularly regarding the alice stone exchange), and all the girls in school are excited about it.

Except for Hotaru and Mikan.

Hotaru is uninterested in romance, more fascinated by some other, creepier school mysteries, and Mikan has never had a crush, so romance isn’t on her radar. 

But the other girls are in a frenzy, and the most popular boys in class are getting harassed about it. Girls want to dance with Ruka and Natsume, and that shocks Mikan. Why would anyone want to be Natsume’s girlfriend? It’s impossible for her to even imagine. 

Exhibit 1000 of Mikan feeling insecure because she's not experiencing what other people are. "Not that I care." Well, obviously you do!

Still, she feels left out. She wants to care about romance and girly stuff, just because other girls care, not out of an actual romantic drive. Mikan is--like I’ve said before--a pretty shallow person, as expected of an immature child. She wants to be liked and she wants to fit in. When her circumstances differ from others, she can’t help but feel like there’s something wrong with her. That’s why she’s always comparing her classes and circumstances to others’. So when she can’t click with all the romance frenzy in the classroom, she feels sad and left out. It’s kind of silly.

Higuchi Tachibana is really good at this kind of story arc. With the Reo Arc, for example, the story began with Mikan voicing the desire to listen to Narumi's advice and befriend the two people she disliked the most. It ended with her bonding with both of them. This chapter is a contained story, but it's similar in its framing. Mikan spends the entire chapter self-conscious about romance, panicking about not having a crush. The story must resolve, so this issue must be addressed somehow.

In any case, she feels weird and uncomfortable, insecure and wondering if there's something she's missing.

Until Mikan is suddenly the subject of rumor.

People posit that she’ll want to dance the Last Dance with Ruka, since they kissed and all during the musical. Mikan tries to defend herself, denying any and all romance allegations, but the attention only grows. Now girls from outside their class are gossiping about her, the girl who kissed Ruka and somehow managed to score the role of Natsume’s partner--a role a thousand times worse than playing a prince in a musical. Ruka and Natsume have shot the other girls down after all. It’s probably because they chose her instead: an ugly little girl who doesn’t deserve to affiliate herself with Ruka and Natsume, school heartthrobs. 

Mikan gets ticked off, and starts screaming that she would never dance with Natsume, let alone go out with him! She doesn’t mention Ruka because that’s awkward, seeing as she did almost kiss him for the play and she doesn’t want to focus on that. But insulting Natsume feels safer. They don’t even really like each other that much and all they ever do is fight, so if she can get gossipers off her back by fighting a little more, then it all works out. 

He literally didn't do anything! She's mostly being accused of being involved with Ruka, but it's Natsume that she singles out. Thrilling!

Mikan doesn’t really consider that she could be hurting his feelings. It’s hard to imagine he has feelings to begin with.

Eventually, the after-party is finally starting, everyone is dressed up, and she’s ready to start having fun. But romance starts seeping in again: Tsubasa and Misaki are practically married according to Megane, Otonashi has a boyfriend, Anna and Nonoko have their own crush, and even Hotaru is surrounded by admirers. (Again! There is so much focus on romance and Mikan being the odd one out regarding it, that the end of the chapter simply must resolve this issue in some way.)

Mikan is alone in her immature world. She starts panicking, because she’s left out again, the one girl in the class who is this immature, it seems. She’s never had a crush--how is she meant to fit in? But at least Hotaru is indifferent to her suitors, so Mikan has somebody to cling to and relate to.

Until Natsume and Ruka show up again--unwelcome sights. 

Natsume literally didn't do anything but she's so angry at him anyway. She's only angry at him because girls wanna date him!

She doesn’t want to be around Ruka because it’s awkward after all that happened--and didn’t happen--at the musical, and all the resulting gossip. But she also doesn’t want to see Natsume because she’s angry at him for other people gossiping about her. How could ANYONE want to date Natsume? Even just the idea of people wanting to date him annoys her (curious!). He hasn't really done anything to personally earn her ire this time. Her mood sours again, very easily.

It's possible she's so mad at Natsume because he's the center of so much romantic intention--with so many girls having crushes on him. She doesn't understand romance at all and is now quite insecure about that fact. Additionally, it could simply be unwitting jealousy, that the constant reminder that he's popular with girls annoys her for a reason she doesn't even understand quite yet. I'm not sure!

She walks away, eager to avoid them, so that she can begin dancing. Mikan isn’t good with negative feelings. Higuchi Tachibana specifically designed her to forget her problems easily, and this is a long time for Mikan to get all worked up about something, especially since she doesn't fully understand what she's upset about to begin with. She just wants to have fun and get her mind off things. But for some reason, suddenly Ruka is bumping into her. 

It’s uncomfortable, because all that kiss stuff has left things awkward between them, but since they’re on the dance floor anyway…

They smile at each other, and in no time at all, they’re dancing and it’s fun. It might start off a bit tense, but the awkwardness is quickly forgotten. Mikan is suddenly not thinking about romance at all. She’s just having fun with a friend. She thinks to herself that she was silly for worrying about fitting in. She should be prioritizing having fun with her friends, not forcing herself to think of romance, especially when she doesn’t understand it. 

Why can't I like them platonically? You can't make me do anything!!!

She moves on to dance with somebody else, and then her feelings only get more cemented. 

Narumi, Iinchou, classmates from SA, even Yuri--they’re all proof that dancing is fun and that worrying is stupid, especially when it’s about romance.

Until she’s alone on the floor for a moment and making eye contact with Natsume, who’s also alone for once. Her mood sours and she notices that his does too. He turns his head away in a huff and Mikan is momentarily offended that she’s the one person he refuses to dance with. But the thing is, she’s the one who said that first. She had singled him out and blamed him for people gossiping about her, but she’s still hurt that he’s giving her the cold shoulder. They stand there for a moment until somebody comes along that he could stomach dancing with. 

Why is Natsume different, huh? Why does he stand out? Why is he the one she refused to dance with, the one she singled out? Natsume is different because of who he is, and because she chooses to make him different. Blah blah blah!

In the anime, Natsume doesn’t dance at all. He avoids the whole party for the most part so Mikan can’t take it personally when he doesn’t dance with her. But he has been dancing the whole time here, just like her, if we can trust Mikan’s comments about her being the sole exception. So her mood is soured again. Not a surprise, because Natsume always annoys her and ruins her mood. 

She goes to the bathroom to calm down during a break and when she comes back, through a secluded path, she happens upon Natsume again, who’s feeding some animals. This time they’re all alone, with no question of dancing. She immediately reacts with anger and dismay, but Natsume doesn’t say anything for a while, and it dawns on Mikan that she took her anger out on him. He may be a jerk most of the time, but that doesn’t mean he’s always the bad guy. He hadn’t actually done anything wrong this time.

I don't have anything to say here, but how cute. She stands here. She could just keep walking but she stands still for a moment, almost like she's willing to wait until he says something or until she has the courage to say something.

In the anime, Mikan is bright and eager to dance with him. She doesn’t care about the issues from before. But Manga!Mikan is not just more stubborn, she’s more self-conscious. Now, even though she’s not really mad at him anymore, she’s still uncomfortable, unsure of how to talk to him. She’d be too embarrassed to ask him to dance right then because she’d be too embarrassed to say anything to him.

Mikan gets this way with Natsume sometimes, and I'll talk more about it during the Z Arc, but her insecurity around him manifests in withholding her feelings. She doesn't usually act this verbally evasive around anybody else. When she's genuinely indignant, she can confront anybody, including Natsume. But her feelings for him feel so particularly vulnerable that she consistently struggles with saying them out loud. Like apologizing, for instance. Even just saying, "Sorry I took my anger out on you," is hard for her.

This moment directly parallels the moment when the culture fest was announced. She had run into her worst enemy when he was playing with some animals, reacted with knee-jerk hostility, only for him to confide in her in his roundabout way.

This goes a similar way.

He’s first to break the silence, ignoring the tension and instead complaining about how stupid the culture fest is again. But Mikan knows better. She knows he’s just hurt about being left out. So she asks him if he had fun. For him, that’s irrelevant. For her, that’s the only thing that matters. He confesses that this stuff never had anything to do with him. She had been right that day in the haunted mansion: Natsume is indeed locked away mentally in a place where he can’t have fun no matter how much people around him are smiling. His life is different from the rest of theirs. Mikan has been given hints about this for all the time that she’s known him, but the extent is still lost on her. How could somebody be so far removed from the rest of them that he can’t even have fun once in a while? 

We know already from Natsume's POV (and we all know even without the essay to be honest) that this warning is very well-intentioned, even kind. I think Mikan can tell too, that he's being serious in an odd way, that he's telling her something important. She wants to understand because she always wants to understand him and always will.

Then he tells her cryptically that she should stay in the light and away from the dark. He’s talking in riddles and it makes no sense to her at all. What on earth does that mean? Mikan notices that he’s not acting the way he usually does. He seems serious, and he isn’t even insulting her like he usually does. He’s not usually so evasive and strange. He’d usually just annoy her or do something rude. He’s not acting normally, so she’s concerned. He doesn’t want to clarify and in no time he dismisses her and insults her, right back to normal. 

Mikan loses her patience. Every single time she gives him a chance, he ruins it! Every time she looks for something deeper, something Ruka swears is there, she ends up disappointed! There is nothing deeper. He’s not different at all! He’s just a jerk like he’s always been, probably going out of his way to torment her for his own amusement. Relationships don’t work if there’s no effort; she’s the only one trying here, so why even bother? So she scolds him for calling her mean names all the time when she has a perfectly good name that he seems not to know even though everyone else does!

It’s ramping up to be another fight. She’s sure he’ll just pull out another insult and then they’ll go back and forth forever, with him just proving for the ten thousandth time that there is very little to like about him--

But then he does say her name. Softly and seriously and gently. “Mikan.”

Twice.

Sparkles don't always have to mean something. But they mean something here.

Then he tells her to leave and that his last wish is for her to quit complaining about what he calls her. And that’s it.

Mikan leaves without another word.

This scene directly parallels the scene from chapter eleven. During that moment, Mikan was finally able to see a different side to Natsume. He was more than she’d initially assumed. He could get his feelings hurt. He could feel left out too. That scene helped soften her feelings towards him a bit. From then on, she hated him less and less until she felt like they could even be friends if he put in some effort.

This scene does a similar thing. It also helps turn Mikan’s feelings around. But instead of turning her feelings from hate, this time, her feelings start solidifying in a particular direction. 

Natsume has never called her by her name before. But he said it now, in a weird way too. He was serious and the whole mood of that moment had been strange and tense. For that moment, she saw a glimpse of something, maybe something like what Ruka was talking about, something deeper and better than just a jerk with a sharp tongue. He seemed sad and cryptic for a moment, like he wanted to tell her something important, only to give up. And then to say her name like that…

When Mikan rejoins her friends, her face is red and her heart is thumping. 

Jeez!

When Mikan danced with Ruka, she was able to forget all the awkwardness between them and just have fun. She realized, by dancing with him, that stressing about romance was stupid, that she should just have fun instead. 

Now, after seeing Natsume, there’s the opposite reaction. 

For most of their relationship, the only part of Natsume that was at all appealing was his air of mystery, the promise of a puzzle with no promise of being solved--a tired metaphor by now, I’m sure. But this moment is different. She saw a little glimpse of something she really liked. 

This chapter is important because it’s the chapter where Mikan’s feelings become solidly romantic. He said two syllables and it turned her whole head around. It changed everything. 

Exactly ten chapters ago, his feelings did a full 180. Now it’s her turn.

I'm not saying her feelings did a 180 like Natsume's. He went from hating her to loving her in a matter of seconds or minutes, depending on your own personal interpretation. But Mikan has been giving him the benefit of the doubt for a while. She's been looking closer at him. She's the slow burn one, and I think it's here that her feelings turn from fascination and intrigue to a bona fide crush.

Of course, Mikan’s feelings develop much slower than Natsume’s. She’s also not as closed off and secretive and she doesn’t have his same martyr complex or circumstances. But she is oblivious, naive, and immature. She’s not used to crushes, so it takes her a while to figure out her own feelings. Not to mention, Natsume is extremely confusing, going from hot to cold to hot again endlessly and without reason. It’s hard not to be confused by feelings in normal circumstances, let alone with somebody who’s so incomprehensible he drives you crazy. But from now on, that’s what she has: feelings for Natsume. Very embarrassing.

But the chapter ends with Mikan dancing the last dance with Hotaru, and dancing makes her forget her worries again, once more forgetting about romantic drama. The festival can end safely, with something sweet and carefree, instead of all the stress that Natsume brings.

Conclusion

The culture fest has finally come to an end! The musical somehow ended safely with 0 kisses and the afterparty was a blast!

We did it, boys! We finally made it to crush territory. Mikan is so hard to analyze because she doesn't understand her feelings so it's really hard to plot the actual timeline of them. But I'm doing my darnedest.

Tomorrow we will talk about the aftermath of the afterparty. Mikan isn't aware yet but she has a crush on Natsume now and he will not make those feelings easy for her at all.

Weekends are so nice! There's a storm here where I live and my mom hates it because she doesn't like the cold but I like the excuse to drink hot chocolate. I hope you are happy with your weekend wherever you are. And if you read this in the future when it's no longer a weekend then I hope your weekday is pleasant. Eat good food. Listen to absolute bangers. Think about NatsuMikan. Do this and your life will be sparkly and great.

<- Prev Next ->

#gakuen alice #alice academy #ga #sakura mikan #mikan sakura #natsume hyuuga #hyuuga natsume #my meta #ga meta #ga meta: nm #ga meta: manga #ga meta: manga nm #let's talk about natsumikan #let's talk about natsumikan: mikan #nm: m song of the day is gold rush by taylor swift #idk that song just reminds me of chapter 26 a lot so!!!! #this is all so very exciting <3 stay tuned for tmo. when i will decide whether its ethical to only post two chapters #or if i should do a double post so we can get to the z arc already #ill probably just post the two chapters hehe sorry #were finally at the outright romantic part so im really happy

[stupidflux]

Hey so I did this last night !! I love to analyze characters , and especially when it comes to my special interests . So why not analyze AIB characters? Here's an analysis on the Food Dye twins.

Yellow Food Dye and Orange Food Dye are twins! And they were close even in the pilot [as far as I remember]. They were supper enthused about getting put on the same team and continued to remain close. Like how P-Stick is codependent with Jelly, the twins seem to do the same. But they seem to drift although it isn't directly stated by anyone. When P-Stick tries to enjoy the pizza party with her actual team after they won the “Fartists” challenge, Yellow Dye rejects her pretty harshly. Orange Food Dye is shocked to see the cruel words of her sister and I feel like that's where their sibling bond starts to part. In “Sunblocked” newly found “French Nacho” kisses Orange Food Dye's hand to show her gratitude of “setting her straight”. Only OFD gets the polite hand kiss and not her sister. She seems to slightly express jealousy while OFD seems to be taking it all in and blushing. In the March update for AIB, Groink puts a picture of the cast that is currently in the competition in a screenshot for the new AIB intro for the upcoming “mini-season” if you would. YFD and OFD seem to be very distant from each other here. They're on two seperate ends of the picture. It could potentially be seen as them both drifting and becoming like the rest of their team. A dysfunctional dynamic.

Will definitely do this with more characters in AIB! Not all but some that I find very intriguing

However I don't know if I'll do the same for Glowstick, he makes me highly uncomfortable

#aib #animated inanimate battle #aib orange food dye #aib yellow food dye #aib analysis #stupidflux being a stupid fuck

[thisselflovecamebacktome]

How’s the 911 of it all going

It's going well. I've been binging (because I do not know how to watch a show normally rip) for most of yesterday and today and just finished 2x10. First impressions are as follows:

Abby was my favourite and the most relatable (as someone who is also a carer to their mother) character of season 1 and I miss her dearly. Idk if this is unpopular but I am surprised (derogatory) that the Abby/Buck story gone on as long as it has. I think it started well as a 'they were both looking for something that the other encompassed in theory but not necessarily looking for each other in reality' story but I really thought that after a bit it was going to end up with them realising they worked better as friends and then having Abby leave for her adventure.

Athena is the character that has grown most on me. While obviously it was rough for her and I sympathise with that, it took a bit to get over feeling like she was making Michael's coming out about herself while trying to say that it was for the family, even long after the children had accepted it. But that is coming from a spot where myself and a lot of queer people I know had our coming out either delayed or otherwise altered by others making it about themselves so I understand that that is in part a me problem. Her trying to solve all of the cold cases because of that little girl that went missing when she was a child is so interesting and I imagine that will come back later in the series which I'm excited for.

On the note of Athena and Michael, I understand that Bobby is a main character but I do wish they'd put as much, or at least more, focus on Michael's relationship. Like even with the homecoming photos, they got Michael's partner to take the photo so Bobby could be in it rather than someone else so they both could be.

I was surprised Eddie didn't show up until season 2. It's also lowkey hilarious that he acted like he had an 'affair' with his wife. Like I get that they were estranged but yeah it was just funny. Overall I think he's my favourite male character and I love the family dynamic between him, his aunt, his grandmother and Christopher.

It was also hilarious that I thought we were getting a rivals/enemies to lovers story for all of about 2 seconds with Buck/Eddie before Buck was p much like "actually no I am in love with this man" (Maddie saying "does this mancrush mean that you're over Abby?" took me out because older sisters always know lmao).

I want to wrap Maddie up in a bubble and never let anyone touch her again. Like I don't want to make anyone uncomfortable but as someone who came from a background of domestic violence and has had to escape another (friendship) situation of abuse, god she is so relatable and I just love her. Like I would go to war for any of these characters but especially her.

As a whole, I was wary about starting this show knowing that it was a Ryan Murphy and Brad Falchuk project because the last thing I watched of theirs was Glee and well... let's just leave it with we all know how off the rails that went. But so far this feels fairly stable. I was surprised to find as a whole it wasn't one fire/crime/emergency of the week but typically 3. I think this has its pros and cons and admittedly I do think it works best when they all intertwine like the earthquake episode did, but it's something different and I applaud them for that. I also feel like everything has good setup, even the 'little' things. Like sure at face value May saying "Everyone at school will know" when Michael comes out can be seen as her making it about herself and being worried about the unrealised potential of bullying but when you find out that it's just another thing she can be bullied over and that the bullying already was that bad, it makes total sense that that's where mind went.

Anyway this has become super long but the TLDR is that I'm enjoying it and interested in where it could go.

#911 #911 spoilers #(to be safe. i know s1 and 2 have been out for a while but i'm sure there's people on my dash who haven't seen it lmao)

[icharchivist]

I kinda can't stop thinking about Noa finding out his older sister, meeting her children and being like happy and all

But then, by extension he meets Lucifer, which is fine and nice experience, BUT he also meets Belial, Lucilius and Beelzebub and all their drama because of that.

Unfortunately I don't remember more about Noa, I just know he is really pretty and has history with Rackam and yet I still wonder about that

Honestly, it can be both canon and youtuber au or something else

Noa is one of my fav chara and especially my fav from the Main Story plotline, i genuinely cry everytime he has content, so this was done For Me and For Me Specifically.

Honestly him being established to have been created by the same astral as Cosmos does fuck me up because from what we know of Noa, he was pretty much active during the Astral occupation. At the time he followed his duty very closely and he was made to push people to make ships, and so it translated to how he used to basically guard slaves and push them to work. Until Noa gained enough free will to realize just how fucked up the situation was, and gave the slaves a way to escape.

(we learn all of that in his Grand FE when we discovers that a group of ex-slave that had escaped got stranded in an island in the Grim Basin, and had since then created a whole religion around Noa, whom they call a firm God, who yet decided to save them all. Noa is greatly uncomfortable with all of that and tries to tell them to give up on the cult but Rackam joins in the convo to talk about all the good things Noa has brought and all. It's legit just 10mins of Rackam going "heres why Noa is amazing and you shouldn't *worship him* but if you're going to appreciate him appreciate him for who he is now rather than how his masters forced him to be at the time").

This is a huge part of why Noa keeps a low profile and doesn't meddle with humans much. He feels extremely guilty for his involvement in the Astral occupation, and now he only wants to inspire people without actually acting much on them.

Meeting Rackam changed a lot of things because Rackam immediately was taken with affection for Noa and promised him that they'll meet again and travel together and nothing could tear them apart, except he made this promise on "You're Forced To Keep All The Promises You Make Here By Magic" Island, so Noa got really affectionate with Rackam and especially want to stay by his side and support him in his dream to be a great Skyfarer, if only by making sure the Grandcypher will always be up to Rackam's standards.

If anything it tells us that Cosmos's creator, who created her at the time Lucilius's made the archangels, was also involved as a colonizer during the Astral occupation.

It's also interesting to think about that due to the fact that, by all account, Noa was up until now considered one of the first "War time Primals" who broke free from his purpose in order to carry on his own free will. now it raises the question, was he created thousands of years before and therefore it's why by the war he could break free? or would eventually his creator have affected the way he could eventually evolve from it? Would the fact Cosmos probably would have a specific relationship with him due to their shared creator means eventually she could have affected his desire to break free during the war, leading her to then meet up with Lucifer? Or is it the opposite, and Noa breaking free from his purpose because it was making him miserable, influenced Cosmos to join Lucifer after the war because she knew it was possible for the Primals to move on?

It also does bring a dynamic concerning their masters, that is different. Cosmos carried the will of the Astral who created her so much so she couldn't break free from her purpose until we "killed" her. but Noa did break free and did keep a low profile before his master even left the Skyrealm. They have a different implied relationship to the Astral who created them.

And while i don't have the details of the FE, Noa being the one who manages to influence everything in order to bring Cosmos back, this time to give her an opportunity to grow as herself away from the impulse of their Astral? feels poetic in a sense.

SO YEAH i actually feel strongly about that addition as a major Noa girly.

As to how it would influence canon or AUs, i need to think a little more about it, for now i'm gathering like, the canon infos we have and how to connect them before going into AU dynamic.

In the Youtuber AU i feel like it could eventually set Noa up as a little more distant to the core family because he's the one who rebelled hundred of years ago, and while he doesn't begrudge Cosmos for not breaking free, he can't exactly be here unless she is ready to move on as well. He's the runaway kid that probably had influence over Cosmos but mostly just had to break free and do his own thing.

Also in a modern AU i feel like Noa could work as a mechanic of some kind, especially specialized in boats, but anything can do.

But the whole thing about Noa is that he likes to keep a low profile, he doesn't want to be on the fullfront because he genuinely resents the time he was pushed to be the one giving orders. So i actually feel like Noa would not actually want to have a Youtube chanel of any kind.

I feel like he could appear in Rackam's videos once in a while though like, Rackam is doing some mechanic videos and Noa hangs out in the background, and he just smiles cryptically and doesn't specifically talk a lot, he keeps a low profile and all of that.

So for the audience it could be jarring when one day, after Cosmos and her family properly separated themselves from their creator, Noa appears quickly in one of the video. Maybe he comes to check in on Yuni, or make sure Cosmos is alright and stable. He doesn't want to stay too long, especially not in front of the camera.

But now people are just "who the FUCK is he". he's the local Youtube Cryptid.

As for how he would meet the rest of the wmtsb gang i don't know how to connect it all just yet. we'll get there. Eventually.

That's my take so far.

Anyway stan Noa.

#it was made just for me you don't understand i love Noa so much #ichareply #ichafantalks gbf #ichablogging wmtsb #lucyferros #wmtsbythc

[big-waifu]

BOOK: #2

DATE: Winter 2002/2003

There are two entirely new characters here. I cannot remember if the guy on the left just had tools for hands or if he had similar powers to Metal- being able to shift his hands into metal implements. I want to say it’s the former because he was largely designed as a joke based off of a friend. Don’t ask me to explain the joke because I don’t know it! Either way, this unnamed character never shows up again. R.I.P. Mr. Shovelhands.

The girl on the right shows up a fair few times within the next two books, and though her name was unofficially “Jess,” I never really had a role for her other than an eccentric catgirl. Moving forward, she is only the first of many such catgirls I will be drawing.

Growing up, I had made it a point to use Felicia in any Capcom fighter than I could play. I liked cats and I think she was just really fun to play as, so I picked her as someone I could relate to, even if her flamboyant design made me a little uncomfortable. Read into this as you will.

Regardless, I don’t want to make the focus of this post too deep into catgirls and skimpy designs, because there’s going to be a gaggle of posts about that from this point to basically the last post I ever make on this blog.

I want to focus on the interpersonal aspect of this image:

Like I said these two and many other characters in the “Pyre story” canon are based on real people I knew. It is a typical thing for a creative kid to try to make cool characters for all their friends- though looking back, many of these characters are classmates I ultimately barely knew. Oddly enough, because I still remember the impetus of their creation being from a real person, they inevitably carry that person’s identity attached to them regardless of how long it’s been since I’ve seen them or really how close I ever was to that person. Because they had relationships to real people, that means that partially I took into account other aspects of their interpersonal life when I made their characters do things.

Jess is interacting with Mr. Shovelhands here in the flirtatious way she is because I was representing the fact that the real person Jess is based on admitted to me once that she was crushing on the real person Mr. Shovelhands is based on. I was always drawn to relationships and while most of the time I was using my work to depict my own self insert in relationship situations, I did apply that shipping mindset to other characters, and I used the real dynamics between people as a sort of naïve inspiration to create art.

The piece is titled “Ignorance” because that crush was ultimately unreciprocated and unknown to the real person Mr. Shovelhands is based on. I have no idea how any of it shook out, and I assume it just got totally swept out with the tide like most middle school crushes, but I find it fascinating that I have held onto this unbelievably forgettable minutia of a young girl’s life and channeled it into art and gave it a narrative to play in.

No matter the genre, my interest always seemed to move towards discussing this topic. Even the high flying action stories I was coming up with ultimately I would focus narrowly on stories about relationships, especially those of girls in love. Like I’ve said, I make no aspersions to use my current gender identity to explain the actions and creative interests of my past self, but it is interesting to wonder if this was an unconscious way for my younger repressed self to vicariously explore maidenhood and attraction to guys in a way that didn’t get me potentially persecuted for being homosexual. After all, it’s not as if homosexuality as a theme ever comes up in my art later on. Right?

Right???

#sketchbook 1 #oc #original character #catgirls #Big’s shipping art

[kinqsteve]

ok ok so i really feel like everyone's characters got fucked up by season four. like it was so out of character for everyone in general and for the most part.

yes, parts of it were good. but most of the good parts were just like relatively good compared to everything bad going on and/or compared to all of the theories we were anticipating be true.

i've seen people say most fan theories were better than what happened and .. yeah. so here are my thoughts. this will have spoilers.

i think steve should've died instead of eddie. it would've sucked and hurt, but isn't that the point? like, if they're trying to really prove this time that things are serious and they can't make it out alive all the time and all that jazz, then touch. the main. cast. why steve? uhh free joe keery ( /hj ) but also, it would've been good to solidify him as a hero and not make his whole character about loving nancy, but about loving his friends. plus, then eddie would serve as a "replacement" of sorts .. help "parent" the kiddos, ya know?

i think it's an interesting and probably unintentional parallel to have nancy end up with jonathan at the end of the season. let's go back, let's look at this. okay so season 1 .... nancy is with steve, fights monsters with jonathan, gets back with steve. season 2.. breaks up with steve, gets with jonathan. season 3, still with him. season 4 ... with jonathan, fights with steve ( !!! ) , gets back with jonathan ( !!!!! ). see, now, i'm not a stancy by any means, really. but, if im season 5 she gets with him, i could see this parallel playing out, and in that regard, i'd be all for it. but the way they went about it and wrote it, ruining all 3 of their characters, really, i'm like kinda against it?

max's ending in the season was kinda strange. i don't know how to feel about it. they could've saved her more or they could've killed her off, but this halfway thing seems almost lazy, i'm just holding out hope they remedy it in a great way.

let will say he's gay. i'm glad they brought back good big brother jonathan, though. but barely.

i have a lot of thoughts on mike, too. but i feel like they've all mostly been said and have been said better than i could say them. but the point of his life starting the day will went missing... bad writing. i'm just hoping the duffers didn't think that one through. romantic and cheesy monologue, badly written by mistake and neglect for his dynamic with will. it's like fine but tacky writing like objectively. so i think they're just bad, lazy writers and forgot to factor in actual character development. or i could get into the subconscious of mike and call it genius, but i guess i'm too lazy, too.

oh, and jason? that was like, lazy. kind of laughable. i'm glad he's gone but after that really long and unnecessary fight? could've had a better ending, in my opinion. and again, that fight and having the sinclair be victims of fights like that was just soo uncomfortable and just doesn't sit right with me.

i have a lot more to say, i'm sure, but for now, i'm tired.

i just feel like a lot of the writing this season, especially the ending was just kind of lazy. i feel very like disappointed. not even mad or sad, just like empty. underwhelmed, maybe.

i feel the same way about this season as i do avengers endgame and infinity war. i hate those movies. i hate this season. but, i liked them. those movies and this season had a lot of really, really good bits. but the horrible, sad bits just make me feel such a strange, unique, odd and empty feeling that it's hard for me to want to watch them. lots of funny, little moments of dialogue and characters being seemingly happy or even just finding joy in the sadness. those little parts are done really well. but the send offs both pieces gave certain characters are just .... i don't know, man. i just feel bored and weird. idk.

#st4 spoilers #stranger things s4 #ok to rb #in fact pls do and come talk to me abt the season !! #i jsut feel so ... like .. bleh .. h know? #u*