#i don't usually post my personal problems on here unless I need to because I find it unecessary and childish

[muggle-born-princess]

Reblog if you're LGBT and are against MAPS/Child Groomers

#i kinda want to prove a point to certain people #i don't usually post my personal problems on here unless I need to because I find it unecessary and childish #but this bullshit has been eating me the fuck up and I need to vent #LGBT does not equal groomer #Child groomers are not LGBT #MAPs are not LGBT #TW: Child Grooming #Tagging it that just in case anyone feels uncomfortable with said topic #fucking hate Texas and religion extremists and conservatives #LGBT #LGBTQ #LGBTQIA #reblog bait

[miss-menhera]

HELLO THERE!!! Trying to cope with OR UNDERSTAND Adam's death? The denial and "what ifs" just get stronger?!?!?!?

Me too tbh I'm fucking miserable

BUT!!!! YOU WILL FIND OUT THAT THIS SHITHEAD COMING BACK IS ACTUALLY MORE PLAUSIBLE THAN YOU THINK! (W.O.W!!!!)

I actually also have some pretty solid theories about season 2 in here so be warned.

(This is a bit different from my usual goofy post I might delete this and separate into parts since I talked about too much)

VIVZIEPOP MADE A COUPLE STATEMENTS THAT COULD BE GAME-CHANGING AND WON'T LEAVE US GRASPING AT STRAWS ANYMORE. I'LL DISCUSS EVERY GROUND THERE IS TO COVER AND EVERY COPIUM THERE IS TO INHALE, AT THE MOMENT!! (Might update this or make a new post if more comes out)

Ok so to start this off, don't be put off by this person's perspective, just listen to me. Vivzie talked to this fan at megacon and got asked if Adam was still alive, all she said was "he lives on in a way", I'm gonna take my delulu aside and the most pessimistic guess would be that someone (pfff lute obviously)avenges him or that his death has an everlasting impact that changes the story, BUT we already got that made clear, like that was pretty obvious already.

(It's made obvious by this scene, Adam's death created a whole other big problem)

(Unless what she means by it is that his death is honored? Like maybe we get to delve deeper into his history, but again i dont think so) SO I DONT THINK THATS IT, I feel like if it was either of the ones I mentioned she would just say "Nope, he's deceased BUT he lives on in a way" But ALL she said was "He lives on in a way" which is very different, although it could be she expressed herself badly or the person writing the tweet didn't quote it word for word. But taking it in the literal sense, this might be pretty much confirmation he lives. There's a way he lives right? So considering that.... could it be that after Lute took his halo,(which was also broken which often renders an angel as "fallen" by default) and left his body there, he just... like woke up as a sinner? Yes yes, I know everyone's been talking only about that, I'm not giving any groundbreaking revelations but I'm just saying that there's alot of options that open up to that possibility. Or who knows! What if he actually doesn't get reincarnated? What if he just wakes up with no halo, so no place to come back to or what if the ever-absent God takes notice of his death and fixes up his first loyal creation?

Besides that if they THINK Adam is dead, (hesnotdeadhesnotdeadhesnotdeadhesnotdeadhesnotdeadhesnotdeadhesnotdeadhesnotdeadhesnotdeadhesnotdeadhesnotdeadhesnotdeadhesnotdeadhesnotdeadhesnotdead)

They make these huge ass changes in tactics, and need to find another way to deal with what Charlie is doing; IF Adam actually becomes a sinner, and his life is super important to heaven... with evidence that sinners can now be redeemed... What if people like LUTE, or LILITH actually become allies of the hotel in an effort to redeem him? He WAS God's first, most loyal and favorite creation, HELL THE REASON HE WAS ALLOWED TO DO WHATEVER HE WANTED AND WAS BASICALLY IMMUNE TO THE LAW IN HEAVEN IS BECAUSE OF HOW MANY PRIVILEGES HE HAS, I don't think God would be too pleased with his soul dissipating or whatever the fuck. That might actually be a plot point, he's way too important to just be killed off like this, am I the only one who got that impression? He's the FIRST MAN, first man, the first man being THE FIRST TO DIE IN THIS SHOW IS ABSOLUTELY MIND-FUCKING AND ALSO A CRUEL JOKE anditskindafunny OF FATE FOR HIM.

Something else I want to add is that my personal take on it is that if I learned anything about this show, Lilith will show up in the next season and pretend to be an ally to the hotel, she will pretend to support Charlie and basing this off the theory that Alastor made a deal with Lilith to keep her daughter safe, he failed to meet the end of his deal. So now she's coming to take matters into her own hands after all these pesky men failed, (ermmm girlboss!!) Stop, and manipulate everyone in the hotel into giving up on the idea. Considering how she deliberately kept Charlie away from her dad her whole life, there's gonna be a whole lot of family drama. And we might see Alastor lose his shit for good. Still tryna figure out wtf does "Lilith thrived and empowered demonkind with her voice" if her voice is that powerful, and her words are just as powerful, we're gonna get 1. FIRE ASS SONGS 2. Mother Gothel ass song with Charlie, I just know it holy shit. Not to mention that they actually don't know that Sir Pentious went to heaven, Lilith definetely will know and won't tell anyone. Lucifer will definetely be the one to step up in the situation yet again. Anyway after I yapped my heart out about what I think will happen in this show, I just wanna say one thing.

There is this DUMBASS thing everyone in the fandom is talking about when someone says Adam is gonna be reborn as a sinner. "He is not gonna come back because he was killed with an angelic blade and Pentious was not" That is the most stupid bullshit I've ever read and if you genuinely believe it for a second, i feel sorry for u cuz how did your brain go and make this correlation?

Most of these people say that the show explicitly stated that Angelic metal SPECIFICALLY and just if it's metal, it can castrate a soul or whatever. Which is literally NOT true, at no point was it established that Angelic steel was the only thing able to exorcise demons. You really need just a bit of common sense to come to this conclusion, what makes the weapons dangerous for demons and angels isn't that they're steel specifically. It's that they're ANGELIC guys.. Have y'all seen Helluva boss at all?

There are blessed ropes, Angelic guns, Angelic bullets. These are just items that replicate the power of Holy magic. A PURE,HUGE, HOLY BEAM of unfiltered angelic power is not stronger than a little dagger infused with a fraction of it? Not only does that not make sense from the show's lore perspective, but using common SENSE that sounds even dumber. This is the only argument I can completely scratch off the lists of why Adam can't come back, and it's the most popular one...

Man you know what guys, after he died, whether he comes back or not, he's never gonna be the same again I just can't picture it. He's gonna be much more insecure, without a mask and not funny and goofy............. Or he is just gonna come back and go full joker. He just cant possibly keep being a light-hearted dark humor andrew tate stan after the most, first immature man in history pulled a gentle smile like that. That just can't be, like take a look at the way he always smiles to the last smile we saw him have.

THAT IS A CHANGED MAN YALL, THATS ANOTHER ENTITY 😭

I HIGHKEY DONT WANT HIM TO GET A REDEMPTION ARC EITHER :(( MAN WHY DID THEY HAVE TO DETHRONE THE LITTLE GUY, THEY RUINED EVERYTHING. One small little theory floating in my mind was that, what if the news of Adam being dead could result in some powerful overlord or even A SIN we've never seen or know the power of, revive him and have him work under them? Even if he actually comes back as a sinner, this little theory I haven't brainstormed much about could be explored.

But y'all know what? Let's say he's dead okay? Let's say he's dead dead, then what did they do with his BODY? I didn't see anyone dig him a grave, yet he died on the hotel, I didn't see anyone even move his body after the angels left. And we know damn well they didn't take him, that's too much of a big detail to leave it out unless they REALLY screwed up with the writing and animation direction in the rush to have the serie come out, but the animation has always been so detailed with almost unnecessary background details. I think they left it out intentionally to have that worked out in season 2, heard some people say it could be they just built the hotel over his body? But I doubt it. If so maybe he could become part of the hotel or just condemned to never leave the hotel in a.... a... ghooooost.... like form...?(Massive amounts of copium). Someone could argue his body just dissolved or something but 1. That makes no sense pookie 2. In the first episode they found the body of the dead exorcist long after it died, and we definetely know atleast it's head was still perfectly intact by episode 3. AND i also went back to check, after Lute takes the Halo they purposefully never show Adam's body, ONCE. Not once, not even as they show all the corpses on the ground as the exorcists depart. So that couldn't be it, one thing we know for sure is that Vivzie is definetely letting on there's something more to his death she doesn't want to reveal yet. It could be she's doing that just to leave it ambiguous to delusional theorists like myself,,,,,since my type of stupid is usually the kind of idiocy infectious enough to rot everyone's brain into pointless speculation based on minor details. Which definetely sells the show better AND keeps discourse and attention alive till more is fed to us, which in that case, very effective marketing strategy at the cost of everyone's mental health Viv! Good job, the prospect you might be giving us false hope cuz its good for business is really making me reconsider signing the christian mom petition to make Amazon prime cancel tis' demonic blasphemous show. (And yes that is a serious threat, I will even fund the petition with 100 euros watch what you write, i don't want any mammon ass marketing tactics pls)...... or... she just doesn't wanna spoil the surprise and im reading too much into it... BUT YOU NEVER KNOW OK?? I NEED TO EXPLORE EVERY SINGLE POSSIBILITY AND NOT LEAVE ONE UNCOVERED. I seriously think I've thought of almost anything-Except that he's just dead, we'll see his funeral in the next season and he actually makes no other appearance......... BUT THAT'S BORING AND I WILL DROP THE SHOW IF THAT HAPPENS! By the way kinda can't wait for Adam merch to drop, cus it means SHE STILL FINDS HIM RELEVANT ENOUGH TO MARKET HIM!!!......and i just really want to have physical objects of him...... But u know what guys Vivzie likes adam alot, he's one of the characters she retweets stuff about the most, along with Lucifer and Alastor. And she also kinda admitted to it.

NOT TO MENTION THERE IS MORE THAT PROVES ITS NOT OUT OF THE WINDOW FOR HIM TO MAKE A COMEBACK CUZ ALEX BRIGHTMAN(Adam's va) ANNOUNCED HE WILL BE IN SEASON 2. and I know he voices Sir Pentious too,(insane range btw wtf) but like i said if they're keeping it a surprise (Thats been pretty much confirmed, Vivz refuses to give too many details so she obviously wants to keep us guessing, which would be cruel if it was for nothing, and i think she knows would leave fans very disappointed) the possibility of Adam still being present in the show could work out.

VIVZ UNLESS YOU'RE A SADISTIC EVIL WOMAN YOU WOULD NEVER HOPE PEOPLE LIKED HIM IF YOU DIDNT HAVE BIG THINGS PLANNED FOR HIM, RIGHT? RIGHT? VIVZIIEIEIEIEIEI3IE😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭 GIVE US BACK OUR FRATBOY BEETLEJUICE UNSCATHED PLS NO MORE PAIN!!!

Also guys look adam actually changed out of that smelly ass robe and dolled himself up for the early extermination!!!!

#adam hazbin hotel #hazbin adam #hazbin hotel #hazbin hotel adam #hazbin hotel adam x reader #adam x reader #dickmaster #my little mysoginist </3 #vivienne. #hazbin adam x reader #hazbin hotel headcanon #hazbin theory #hazbin thoughts #hazbin hotel theory #hazbin hotel god #hazbin hotel lilith #hazbin god dont be a bitch #save your loyal holy child this instant

[b3llasdears]

"good night!"

sleeping with leonidas and thor

I based it on another post here, so just in case, credit to that person!

English is not my first language and I'm using the translator on my keyboard, so I apologize for any errors!

Leonidas

● There are two reasons why you end up sleeping on top of him:

● 1. he is comfortable

● 2. this man is a giant, so he probably doesn't leave much room for sleeping

● but seriously, he's like a pillow, so you have nothing to envy for not sleeping in the bed

● there are two ways in which you two can sleep, face up (with you on top of him) or side

● if you sleep on your side, he will hug you burying you more in his chest (for your enjoyment)

● you use him as a pillow and he uses you as a stuffed animal, a fair deal

● He needs to feel you, it's his way of knowing that you are safe, he is your protector after all.

● By the way, it is very likely that before going to sleep you two will have a cuddling session, especially if he is stressed, you are like his anti stress toy

● you can hug him, give him kisses, play with his beard, and He won't let you go, his arms will always be around you.

● Although the king always enjoys showing you his love, the bedroom is one of the only places where he will completely let his guard down.

Thor

● first of all, unless you are some kind of god/goddess of winter and your body is always cold, you don't need a blanket, this man is a fucking stove

● Of course it is not unbearably hot, but it is hot that can make you run out of air if you stick too close for too long.

● like Leonidas he also needs to feel you close, although he doesn't need it to be so direct, feeling your hand is fine

● You normally sleep side by side, you on your side, he on his, but there is a special occasion in which you do sleep cuddling.

● a stormy night, although not many know it, sometimes these are a sign of sadness or stress on his part, so when it is one of those cases you are ready to shower him with love

● This man is not used to receiving so much attention, so don't be surprised when he turns just as red as his hair.

● Yes, he's going to get nervous, but he's not going to stop you, just because he gets nervous doesn't mean he doesn't like it.

● the only problem is that being nervous makes him even hotter, so you'll probably have to take a cold shower before going to sleep.

● Thor is not very good with words, so his thing is actions, Normally they are things like small gifts, but if you are cuddling he will hug you and caress your hair.

● It's not much, because, again, he's not very used to this kind of contact, but he does the best he can!

● Thor doesn't usually show much affection in public, so appreciate these little moments where you can snuggle with him for as long as you want.

Is this a Valentine's Day special? Technically not since I was supposed to finish this yesterday, but I guess I'm going to classify it as a special because I finished it in time for it to come out today

┐(︶▽︶)┌

#record of ragnarok #record of ragnarok x reader #ror x reader #shuumatsu no valkyrie x reader #snv x reader #record of ragnarok leonidas #ror leonidas #ror leonidas x reader #snv leonidas #snv leonidas x reader #snv thor #ror thor #ror thor x reader #snv thor x reader #shuumatsu no valkyrie

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

AITA for insisting on an apology?

☆I'M SO SORRY THIS GOT WAY TOO LONG☆

(Ok tbh I feel like I already know the answer, but I'd like some other opinions just in case. Also, I kinda need to vent, sorry)

(ALSO- I tried to post this on reddit AITA and holy shit are they picky about submissions- this story got deleted because "no interpersonal relationship problems allowed". WHAT possible conflict situation would not be interpersonal? Can you even have a AITA submission that isn't interpersonal?)

My mom is a premium member of a casino and she found out that the casino was having a BBQ for the premium members and their guests. So she wanted us to go.

Except she didn't find out about this BBQ until the day before it would happen and I had work that day and since my shift had long ended, I would not get a chance to talk to anyone at work about switching shifts and I don't have anyone's number to ask. So my mom decided for me that I should just call out.

Now here's where I might be TA (but I feel like what happened after could earn me back some points)

I was pissed off at the fact that she didn't even ask if I wanted to go or if I was ok with calling out or if I even COULD get someone to cover. She just automatically told me to call out, like I have to listen to her. (I'm over 18. I am an adult) I didn't appreciate that she just decided this for me like I was a child and told her so. This lead to a big fight where I cussed at her and called her a bitch and told her to go fuck herself (not my best moment) and told her to go to this stupid BBQ alone. (I genuinely meant that part about going alone- at least somebody should enjoy it. Also, she's my ride, so I was willing to be stranded with no way of getting anywhere if it would enable her to enjoy her party.)

After I calmed down, I told her I'd be willing to call out if she absolutely insisted. She said no, it was fine and I ended up going to work as usual.

Almost.

About an hour before my shift ends, she shows up AT MY JOB and tells me to ask my manager if I could leave.

No! It doesn't work that way! I work retail. As far as I know, no retail job will let you leave early unless it's an emergency. She worked retail, she knows the drill. So I tell her to think of a legitimate reason why I'd have to leave and I'd tell my lead that. (Luckily I had a lead I was pretty chill with that day and she was like why is your mom here? And when I explained the situation, she was like "yeah I don't really care if you leave, but I need you to make up a legitimate excuse for when [our boss] asks why you left.")

She couldn't think of a reason, and after humiliating me at my job, she left without me noticing and I finished my shift. (It was a very busy and stressful day, even without my mom pulling that shit)

She surprisingly picked me up when my shift was over and we went to the dinner and were able to make it in time and had a nice dinner, so all of her stunts were wholly unnecessary.

She had sent me several long and vicious texts while I was at work that I didn't see until much later in the night. I will quote some of the more vicious ones (text message will have 《》 around them my personal thoughts on the text will be after with *) omitting personal info:

《You are a 26 year old loser [my name] stuck at a dead-end job that you've been doing for almost 5 years. A little bit of a rush shouldn't phase you like it does and you should be able to ask to leave a few minutes early- why can't you?》

*Name-calling is unnecessary and rude. She is constantly putting me down and calling me a loser and insulting my job, like she doesn't also work retail. So it's no wonder why I hesitate to jeopardize my job to please her.

[Context- one of the reasons I couldn't leave, other than the fact that retail Doesn't Work That Way is that I had a huge rush of customers and had to straighten up my department that I was working alone. I was closing and it would be extremely obvious who had left the department a mess and I would get in trouble for it.]

《Who left you with that mess? I overheard them [my leads] talking and they didn't sound like they thought you were being left with anything. They thought you should've handled it and can't do your job if that was a problem.》

*This one really got me and I was VERY glad I didn't see this text while at work, because I probably would've had some kind of meltdown. I honestly do not know how long she's been doing this (probably my whole life) but recently I've been noticing that she keeps trying to plant seeds of doubt and paranoia in me. Mostly by telling me that people are talking about me behind my back and/or judging me. Or telling me that my friends don't actually like me. Another example that I caught recently was her telling me that when I go to retail stores as a customer, she notices other customers and the employees staring at me, judging my hair/outfit/whatever. I immediately thought this was total bullshit, but just in case I was wrong, I paid extra, EXTRA attention to everyone around me when I was out in public to see if anyone was pointing, whispering, looking at me, doing anything to suggest judgement and I honestly did not see a single person even glance at me. I have unnaturally colored hair, so I expected at least one glance, but I got nothing. Side note rant over.*

I'm not going to quote the last text, as it doesn't have any specific quotes that provide any context. She just demanded that if I am not out of work by 5:01 (exactly 1 minute after my shift ends) then she is leaving me stranded and that I need to get my friend to pick me up.

*which....I live in her car. If I hadn't been out on time, I would've been completely stranded at night, with nowhere to go and no way to get there, which as a female, is unbelievably dangerous. It is also incredibly rude to demand that my friend, who doesn't work with me and has his own life, should drop everything and come pick me up and....what? Take me where? I'd probably end up having to stay at his house, which is very rude to basically guilt him into letting me stay at his house for the night*

SO after the dinner, I read all these texts and I was furious and insisted that she apologize to me for 1. Causing a scene at my work 2. All of that nasty shit she said to me in the texts and 3. For blaming me for ruining her plans when even after I went to my shift, we were still able to go to the dinner, so all of the stunts she pulled were entirely unnecessary.

She literally laughed in my face and called me delusional (for...wanting a verbal apology....) and when I doubled down on demanding an apology, she called me a delusional cunt and I still have never received an apology to this day.

What are these acronyms?

#aita #am i the asshole

[wishful-seeker]

Hi! Really like you "Tips on how to avoid being unintentionally ableist" post but is it possible to make plain text version?

Am not sure what the color text says

(Plain text just means regular size + no color text + not cap lock)

Of course! Here ya go:

Tips on how to avoid being unintentionally ableist:

1. When a disabled person says they cannot do something, and you wish to offer solutions, do not make a solution that involves them powering through pain, or something thats not accessible to the disabled.

Example:

Disabled person: "washing dishes hurts too much and i cannot do it."

Abled person: "what if you did one dish at a time throughout the day?"

This statement is not respecting that this disabled person just said they "can't". Always respect that. No matter how simple the task would be for you.

Example:

Disabled person:" i think ill use plastic silverware so i don't make dishes."

Abled person: "plastic is bad for the environment!"

This statement shuts down the most accessible and disabled friendly option that this disabled person can actually do because of the abled persons personal beliefs. This is not helpful, and ableist.

Better yet, instead of offering solutions, ask them directly "is there anything you need that you do not have that would help you do this?" This allows the disabled person to think about what would work, and they will always have a better idea of what would work than you do.

To add on to this, when we say we have no more energy to solve a problem or do a task, or change our lifestyle, we mean it.

2. If you feel discomfort when a disabled person is talking about their health, good and bad, that is ableist. Your discomfort is coming from a place that deams disabled peoples very existence as a bad thing and you need to fix that.

Example:

Disabled person:" this week has been rough pain wise, ive been through a lot, felt like my body was on fire. Lucky i got new meds though and i think they're helping!"

Abled person: "can we talk about something else, this is a bummer."

Disabled people should be able to exist freely without worrying about your personal comfort. Do you really think its appropriate to tell someone in constant pain that their life is making you uncomfortable?

3. Do not treat disabled people as tragedies, do not romanticize their old life or put their current one down.

Example:

Disabled person: "yeah my life is pretty difficult sometimes, ive lost a lot but i still have happy moments."

Abled person: "it makes me so sad to see what disabled people go through :(. You used to love rock climbing and running, i would love to see you move around more again."

This statement is putting more value on the disabled persons abled past, and ignoring their life as a whole.

4. Do not avoid speaking to disabled people because it hurts to see your loved one disabled.

For example: my grandmother avoids conversations with me because it hurts her to see me in pain. While she has good intentions it leaves me being unable to be close to her. This is very isolating to the disabled.

5. Do not stop inviting your disabled friend/loved one out even if they are never well enough to attend. Unless we specifically ask you to stop asking if we can go out, good chances are we want to know you still care because again, disability is very isolating.

6. When a disabled person says certain things in their health have gotten better or worse, do not challenge this because you don't see a difference.

Example:

Disabled person: "yeah things are getting a little better"

Abled person sees disabled person using their wheelchair like usual: "i thought you said you were getting better?"

Better and worse are usually small changes only the disabled experience, its not like abled people healing from a broken arm. Better to a disabled person could mean they can stand for 10 more minutes.

7. Do not expect disabled people to ever be abled again, and again, do not put more value on an abled life.

Example:

Disabled person:"I have been using a wheelchair for 2 years."

Abled person: "oh you're young, im sure you'll be walking around in no time!"

This statement invalidates and ignores the disabled persons current life by hoping they get a more abled bodied life. Its fine to hope disabled people get better, but you don't get to decide what better looks like.

Hope this helps, stay punk.

Is this okay?

#cripple punk #disability #disabled #answered

[letteredlettered]

Hi!! Have you ever struggled with burnout, depression, or overwork? Currently in my first job post college and it’s been very intense as we are currently like 3 people doing the work of a team designed for 7 people (two roles they are working to fill and two people are out on leave -> one is out on vacation and the other on parental leave). Have spent many ours on overtime (around two days a week I usually sleep five or six hours and spend a few more hours working —> other days I work a bit less but still some overtime) for the last few months. It’s really hard to decompress and stop thinking about work as I work remotely. I need to get better at setting limits and advocating for myself but I think one issue I’ve been dealing with is getting caught in a cycle of having a lot so having not a lot of time to do an analysis of like what needs to change and this is my bandwidth. Also it’s hard to predict bandwidth sometimes because I’m still very new to this industry and department, so I’m still learning how much coordination is necessary to get something done. Another problem is that everyone is stretched to their limit and extremely busy, so I feel kind of bad rejecting projects. I think an issue is that I also have relatively low self-esteem and confidence but a deep desire to be “good” from like an academic perspective and a work perspective, and the main leader of my team is someone who I like a lot and appreciates what I do, so I keep trying to do more or at least meet expectations. I also receive assignments from different people (five people total, usually), so people generally don’t have visibility as to my bandwidth unless I speak up. One person in particular gave me a lot of assignments with a good deal of time pressure and was the person that I was working the closest with —> still trying to catch up to some of the more evergreen projects I had with him because the other projects I’ve had in the last two months have even way too intense to do anything else. I’m really grateful for this job and I like a lot of the people I work with, but I’m kind of struggling.

I mention all of this because I really respect the way you are able to commit to creative projects and create incredible works and really focus on making something. I’ve never really had an ability to stick to a creative project or hobby for an extended period of time —> frequently I disappoint myself in my lack of consistency or follow-through for a lot of my personal goals. I also really appreciate the way that you engage with certain themes in your work and value your perspective. So just kind of curious if you’ve been through this before or have any thoughts about this sort of thing

I've thought a lot about what to tell you here.

What anyone would recommend is that you set boundaries and take care of yourself. They'd say that your well-being is more important than your work. If they read your ask carefully they'd realize that maybe your performance in this job is connected to your well-being in your mind. If they're looking at the strings that control the system they're going to tell you capitalism has brainwashed us into thinking that we should sacrifice our health for the sake of production, and then they'll tell you you should do what you can to break out of the capitalist mentality. If they're not excited about seizing the means of production then their in-universe advice (in-the-capitalist-universe advice) is going to point out that you cannot produce more for the capitalist machine if you're burnt out (I'd call these people the neoliberals of tumblr but I'm not sure that exists; I haven't seen it).

But none of that is really addressing the problem here, because you already know all of that, or if you don't know it, knowing that isn't going to help you. You don't need to be told to set boundaries. You know you accept too many projects; you know that you haven't been clear with your colleagues about your bandwidth. You know you're trying too hard to please others and that part of the reason is you have a low self-esteem.

Something that people don't talk about enough is how bad it feels to set boundaries. When people advise others to "set boundaries" it's always as if it's never occurred to anyone else to stand up for themselves. The problem is that it usually has occurred to us, but it's hard to do and feels bad. Hearing "stand up for yourself!" repeatedly can sometimes help us feel like we did the right thing when we do manage to stand up for ourselves, but it can just as often make you feel even worse when you can't stand up for yourself. You're being overworked and you're not doing the thing that everyone tells you you should do.

And another thing that people do not talk about enough is that most workplaces do not like employees who set boundaries for themselves. They like people who say yes. You often won't get in trouble for setting reasonable limits for yourself, but you won't advance. The ones who work late and work on weekends and take on every project and say nothing about bandwidth are usually the ones who get promoted. I'm not saying this because it's right or okay. It's another flaw in the capitalist system. But it is very often true, and I've been a little frustrated that in all these glorious discussions about boundary-setting, this is not something that gets talked about more.

So what to do, when you know the answers, but it doesn't feel great, and might not get you where you want to go?

Spend time with your feelings. A lot of time with your feelings. Imagine ways to communicate your bandwidth. Imagine how you would feel in each scenario. Pick scenarios that feel more comfortable and less intimidating for you. Imagine saying no to a new project. Imagine how you would feel doing that. Pick a way of doing it that feels the most manageable.

Think about your colleagues, what you like about them and why. Imagine how they would feel if they knew that you were struggling. Imagine having an honest conversation with them about how hard this is for you. Would they listen open and compassionately? Would they try to make changes that could help you? Or would they say, "We're all going through it," and "there's nothing to be done?" Imagine saying to them, "I know we're all going through this, because of the staffing challenges we're facing," and "I know there's not much to be done about this, but this is how I'm feeling." Would they accept your vulnerability? Would it make you feel bad to be vulnerable in that way? Would it make you feel worse to be vulnerable in that way or to say nothing?

That's not a leading question. Saying nothing is okay. There have been many times where I am facing a problem and I realized that doing nothing was the thing that made me feel best. There were other times when I really didn't want to do something and I knew it would be incredibly hard, but I knew I would feel much better having done it.

Think about your self-esteem and confidence. Why don't you feel confident? When you imagine saying no, and it feels bad, what makes it feel so bad? Is it because other people don't say no? Are you measuring yourself against those other people? How can you stop doing that? Or is it because you feel like a good worker always says yes? Where did you get that idea? Was it an idea communicated to you by people who love you? By society? Are there people who haven't made you feel that your worth as a person was predicated on how much you were able to accomplish? When is the last time you spent time with them? What makes you feel good about yourself? When is the last time you did it? Are there things you can do outside of work to boost your confidence? What are they? Can you do them? Why not? If work is holding you back from doing them, is it worth it?

It's okay if work feels worth it. I'm not endorsing the capitalist machine when I say that it is okay to do something that is really difficult or unpleasant for a certain amount of time to get where you are going. But if that's what you're going to do, then develop a plan of escape. Ask yourself how long you're willing to put up with this. Ask yourself what the next step in your career or life journey is. Ask yourself what you will put up with to get there and what is unacceptable. Write it down if you have to, then try to abide by that, and if you are unable to bear your plan six months down the line, make a new one.

I am fortunate in that these kinds of questions come really naturally to me, and I think they must not come so naturally for a lot of other people. Definitely, there are blocks in my mind; I'm not always able to understand myself or my own feelings; I don't know what's best for myself or how to make myself do things I want. But this kind of thinking is not going to give you immediate answers. Instead, it's going to build the skill of getting to know yourself.

The ultimate question you should be asking is "What will make me happy?" It sounds like a simple question, but it is in fact the most difficult of all. It is the question we struggle with every day, and every book that was ever written, every song that was ever sung, every painting that was ever painted is about that, in the end. The answer to that question is the meaning of life. Most people never find it, but the search is worth it.

It's definitely worth it.

#work #jobs #capitalism #life

[deadeyeedangel]

trial run - moira o'deorain x intern!reader

˚✩ ⋆｡˚ ✩ hi ! it's my wife's birthday today, so naturally i thought i'd finally get around to those hcs i was planning on writing! these posts will probably never be formatted with those pretty little headers i see around and i'm pretty unapologetic about it, i can't lie i kiiiinda care a lot less about the presentation and more about the actual writing and i'm a pretty busy person, soooo... sorry i guess? anyway sorry for yapping and i hope you all enjoy, HAPPY BIRTHDAY DOCTOR O'DEORAIN!!!

˚✩ ⋆｡˚ ✩ TAGS: sfw, reader was meant to be fem but tbh no gendered terms are really used so reader can be seen as gender-neutral, age difference (reader is implied to be a doctoral student in early 20s), canon-divergent/au because i'm projecting my own internship problems here i cannot help it, moira being moira but it's way tamer than usual, actually kinda really fluffy i needed some comfort oops, mayyy make a part 2 with the date if you guys reeeeally want it :p

✧˚ · . suffice to say she wasn't a fan on your first day- to be honest she wasn't a fan even before then. the doctor preferred to work in solitude and silence, and hearing that she would have to practically babysit a doctoral student for a whole summer? forget it.

✧˚ · . she very begrudgingly opened up to the idea of having a shadow, however, after she found out her lab would be receiving more funding as a result of the research you were being hired to do. unfortunately that still didn't mean she liked you, though.

✧˚ · . you were young, fresh-faced and naïve, and when you shuffled in through the doors to her lab you were met with a cold presence that you didn't necessarily care for at all. it was what you were expecting when you were told who you would be working with, though, so it didn't come as a surprise. after all, no matter how much better you thought you would fare working alongside your sweet professor dr. ziegler, there was only one in the facility that could find even some use in a bioinformatics student.

✧˚ · . you barely had a moment to introduce yourself before the lanky irishwoman waved off your extended hand.

"wasting time will get you nowhere. unless you wish to bring me my coffee and just sit there every day, make yourself actually useful."

you were silent after that, doing exactly as she said and leaving her alone. no words were exchanged for the rest of the day.

✧˚ · . your first week was pretty unremarkable, but you were easing into the schedule you had made, making a small dent in the large workload you had to do for your thesis. moira was always just moira, working silently in her own corner of the lab and occasionally taking a break to examine your own work but saying nothing at all. by week two, however, the silence was beginning to drive you insane.

✧˚ · . your first real conversation was initiated, surprisingly, by moira. the older woman was hovering over your shoulder as usual, examining your catalogs of the dna structures and compositions of the various modified rabbits she kept in the lab, and she decided to snarkily point out you had missed a section. expecting that to be the only thing she had to say, you sighed and corrected it before moving on but she kept speaking, pointing out areas that you missed in a tone that you could only describe as pointed and patronizing.

✧˚ · . in certain... other situations, you'd find being talked to in this manner by a quite attractive older woman to be much more pleasant, but this was your hard work she was critiquing.

✧˚ · . don't worry, though, it's her love language. she might not say it but she wants you to succeed.

✧˚ · . expect more conversations about your work and hers. you begin to speak more in the mornings when you first walked in, and at nights when you left.

✧˚ · . as the days went by and your final deadline for your thesis was approaching quicker and quicker, you ended up spending nearly all 24 hours of each day in the lab, and of course, moira had noticed.

✧˚ · . she leaves small things out for you that she'd usually leave for just herself: two mugs of coffee now, two plates with some small meals, two shot glasses in case things got rather dire... but don't ask her about them, she'll shut down that it was her doing quite quickly.

✧˚ · . one very early morning she returns from the bathroom to find you slumped over your desk, fast asleep. your face was smushed against your keyboard, keying in a constant and ever-growing string of the letter h into your catalog. if you ever found out and asked, she would have simply said she didn't want the data to be messed up. however, that was most certainly not the case as she gingerly lifted your head up carefully to delete the keyboard smash, saving your work and turning off your computer before leaving you back to your rest.

✧˚ · . she was back at her work for a good five minutes before she decides to take her lab coat off, draping it over your still-sleeping form like a makeshift blanket. you woke up that morning confused but grateful, with a slightly flushed doctor o'deorain saying she simply didn't want you to get sick, as it was cold in the lab anyway.

✧˚ · . your thesis was due the day before your last day of work, and moira was quieter than usual. you've been stressed and working dilligently all day, but when you finally submit it right before the clock struck midnight, moira got up from her side of the lab, and retrieved two glasses and a bottle of champagne.

✧˚ · . you never thought she'd be the type to celebrate this sort of thing, especially when it took her away from her work, but when she motioned you to come over, you couldn't help but listen.

✧˚ · . clinking your glasses together, moira congratulated you on your work, and over the alcohol, conversation brewed quickly. you spoke of your plans for the future, your research, her research, discussion flowing for hours, as if it were meant to be. a well-received moment of relaxation for the doctor, you assumed, surprised she'd spend it with you rather than alone.

✧˚ · . she never got the chance to ask if perhaps the two of you could see each other... outside of the lab, maybe for dinner or a coffee. a trial run if anything, she said.

✧˚ · . or- well, she didn't really say it. angela came up to you after a class and told you on her behalf. nerd with a crush doing nerd with a crush things, i guess.

#overwatch #overwatch x reader #moira o'deorain #moira overwatch #moira x reader #i heart my bitch wife that wants to kill me #moira o'deorain x reader

[booksandabeer]

Hi,

First of all thank you for all the recs you do, it couldn’t be easy doing all that. I just wanted to ask you about your favourite fics where Steve and Bucky were already together during first avenger and get back together in the future? Once again, thank you so much. Even if you don’t answer this I would still be grateful because I got so many of my favorite fics from your blog. You’re amazing and take care.

Hi!

Thank you very much for your kind words. It's lovely to hear that I could help you find some of your favorite fics. 🥰

I've sat on this ask for a few days now because it's actually a really difficult one for me to answer/find recs for without getting into things that can be quite, uh, awkward to discuss "on main." But I will try. As always, I'm going to ramble, so I'll put this under a cut.

(There will be fic recs in here, I promise. Just scroll down if you want to skip the waffling.)

So. When it comes to fics set in canonverse, I mostly stick to either stories that end before the war or stories where Steve and Bucky only get together once they meet again in the future. I hardly read fics with the premise you've described in your ask because—and this is where it gets dicey—they are rarely ever done in a way that I personally find satisfying.

Here’s the thing: If you read a story set in canonverse, inevitably, at some point the war will arrive and with it: Peggy. Now there’s a much larger, much more complex discussion to be had here about Steve’s perceived sexuality, societal expectations of what constitutes "successful masculinity" in the 1930s/40s, and self-repeating and -reinforcing cycles of fanonization that I don’t want to get into right now, so I’ll just say this: Unless the author goes the polyamory route (which I personally don’t care for and therefore don’t read; at least not in that particular combination), usually none of the characters involved come out of such a scenario looking their best or like they haven’t received a personality transplant from one chapter to the next. I know that some people love that kind of conflict and are really into the angsty drama that comes with it—and they may find my stance on this boring and square—but to be honest with you, there’s already plenty of angsty drama in any story involving Steve and Bucky to begin with; I don’t need this on top of it.

And also—look, to be very blunt about it: If I click on a Steve/Bucky story I want to read a Steve/Bucky story, and decidedly not a story about Steve falling in love with Peggy halfway through—especially not when he’s already been practically married to Bucky for years. I'm okay with scenarios where Steve falls in love with her (or the idea of her, really) because he cannot or thinks he cannot be with Bucky for reasons ranging from very reasonable to entirely idiotic, but in a world where they are already together? Honestly, no thanks. I don't want it.

(Also, let's not even pretend that I don't have a huge Bucky-bias.)

But! you asked for recs and not 500 words of waffling, so I went through my lists and bookmarks to find stories that either try to grapple with this *problem* in a sensitive and thoughtful manner, find elegant ways around it, or simply skip over it entirely.

Here we go:

(Note: The exact meaning of 'Being Together' can vary greatly from story to story)

A Tree Grows In Brooklyn by newsbypostcard | 6 parts, 146K, T-E

Author's summary: "You keep asking me what I want," Bucky manages, eventually. "But on any given day, my number one priority is to get through the day alive and myself, and to do it without killing anyone. Everything else is extra." Each work is a standalone.

-> A Post-CW AU that also tells Steve and Bucky's history with each other through flashbacks. Apart from this series, you can really read any story by this author because they do this neat thing where they use roughly the same pre-war/wartime backstory and then depending on when they wrote it and where MCU canon was at the time, the fics branch off from there. Plus, all of their stories are simply wonderful and I will alway recommend them any chance I get.

The Good Morrow by Hark_bananas | 75K, E

Author's summary: Every night, Steve falls asleep and finds himself dreaming about a diner, and every night he finds Bucky waiting for him there. But in the waking world, Bucky has disappeared, gone on the run after the fall of the Triskelion and Project Insight, and the strange dream that they share may be the only way that Steve has to bring him home.

après nous le déluge by tomorrowsrain | 9K, T

Author's summary: After us, the deluge. Steve and Bucky break, mend, and try to find their place in the world without the mantles of Captain America or the Winter Soldier. AU, post Civil War.

-> Part 1 of gale song series, the second part of which which I recced in my Road Trip Rec List. In fact, there are quite a few fics on that list that fit the premise of 'together before/during the war and getting back together in the 21st Century,' so if you haven't already, you might want to take a look at it!

Roll On by jaxington | 3 parts, 306K, T-M

Author's summary: In 1938, there's a bar in Brooklyn called Sully’s where people are safe to be themselves. Behind the bar, a girl pours drinks. She's always got a big smile for Steve and she says queer like it's a good thing. On a regular basis, she takes his shoulders in her hands and tries to shake sense into him, saying, "When will you do something about that best friend of yours?" In 2012, Bucky’s gone, but Steve’s not, and the girl’s hands are too old to shake him. She does her best to make him see sense anyway. Steve had people who loved him before the war, and it turns out a few of them are still around when he finally comes home.

Practice Makes Perfect by nekare | 10K, M

Author's summary: And it’s just. It’s too much. Weeks of pain and months of missing Steve and his mouth and the stupid shit that comes out of it; years of molding himself to his back at night and pretending there’s nothing else to it apart from sharing warmth; a decade of his stomach twisting with the foolish desire to make Steve laugh.   It's August and sweltering when Steve asks, out of nowhere, if Bucky wants to try kissing. Just to see what it's like. Bucky then spends far, far too many years pretending it didn't mean anything at all.

a hat, a horse (a Hyundai), and the will to ride by synonym4life | 67K, E

Author's summary: After Steve and Bucky rescue their pals from the Raft prison, they decide to dig deeper into Zemo’s involvement in the UN headquarters’ bombing which sends them on a backpacking trip across select European countries. Steve and Bucky believe this is a story about their mission. Scott Lang and Sam Wilson, who join them halfway through, believe it’s a story about their Eurotrip (and they’re probably right). This writer, however, has been waiting to tell you that the fic’s true mission is Steve and Bucky missioning towards missionary. Follow them on their journey across Europe in tiny cars, packed subway trains and even on skis as they tumble down the Swiss Alps (in a fun way this time!), all the while reigniting untold feelings of the past through inappropriate sexual encounters and terrible communication skills.

Five times Steve kissed Bucky by paragon | 16K, T

Author's Summary: (+ once, finally, it was the other way around)

-> I'm very amused by how short this summary is, but the fic really is exactly what it says on the tin: Steve and Bucky kissing, pre-war to post-CA:TWS.

I Wanna Live in the Hidden Parts of Your Skin by Voylitscope_speed | 10K, E

Author's Summary: Sometimes, Steve looks at Bucky across the floor of their apartment or in the middle of the sidewalk, and it's not goddamn fair how good Bucky looks. It's not fair how Steve, who's spent his whole life fighting with his lungs for air and his heart for a steady beat, sometimes looks at Bucky and his breath and pulse are wrong for reasons that aren't his lousy health at all. And ever since the day with the purple ink, Steve can't stop thinking about people being canvases, like the models at that exhibit. Steve keeps thinking that Bucky'd be the most stunning canvas a guy could ever ask for. (Or: Steve and Bucky discover a kink in 1940. They find a reason to come back to it 80 years later. )

All The Angels and The Saints by Speranza | 48K, E

Author's summary: In which Steve Rogers loses God and finds God and loses God, and also: Bucky.

-> Look, this fic does some of the exact things I said above I usually try to avoid, but (1) it doesn't really do it (kind of, it's hard to explain), and (2) it would be *absolutely ridiculous* to not include it when putting together a list of fics with a pre-war to post-WS arc. This fic is legendary for a reason. It rewired my brain. It was one of the first Stucky fics I read that made me realize and appreciate the full potential and beauty of this ship, and to this day, it remains one of my absolute favorites.

▶ I'm really sorry that I didn't write something for every individual fic like I usually do, but I'm moving back to my home country in less than three weeks, so time is very limited right now. I hope this is still ok, and that you'll find something on this list that you like!

▶ There is a series that would've been perfect for this list but unfortunately it was deleted without warning a few months ago. If anybody has a saved copy of apricotcake's long is the road that leads me home that they'd be willing to share with me, I would be forever grateful! I'm still so sad that it's gone and angry with myself that I didn't download it when I had the chance. :(

#stucky fic rec #stucky rec list #stucky #stucky fic #steve x bucky #steve x bucky fic rec #stevebucky fic rec #stevebucky #asks #my recs

[sirfrogsworth]

Hey I saw your post on wheelchair accessibility - was wondering as someone who does not use a wheelchair if there is anything we can do? Like checking the buttons at doctors offices and reporting that to (??? Somewhere??) If they don't work?

It's one of those "If you see something, say something" situations.

For instance, if you see someone parking in a wheelchair spot and they don't have a placard, just say, "I think you forgot to put up your disabled placard. You don't want to get a fine."

This is better than straight up accusing someone of not being disabled because sometimes it is not apparent they are disabled and people do forget to hang the placard on the mirror on occasion.

Now, if they say they are not disabled and give you an excuse like, "I'm just going to be a few minutes." this is where you have to decide what kind of confrontation you are comfortable with.

If you don't feel safe, wait until they leave, take some pics and feel free to alert the non-emergency line. That usually doesn't amount to much, but in some areas, they might send someone out to fine them or tow them.

If you feel safe enough, you could ask them to please move their car if they are not disabled. You might even start taking video at this point to reduce the chance of escalation.

You could give them a sympathetic anecdote. Doesn't have to be true. "My uncle is in a wheelchair and he has such a hard time when the parking spaces are all used up. Would you please reconsider moving your car?" I do not recommend a hostile approach, though some feel comfortable with it.

You could also start taking pictures of their car and license plates and if they ask what you are doing you can tell them you are going to send them to the authorities. "Your car will be towed if they get here before you leave. So maybe it is best to just move it now."

I do like the idea of testing door buttons and then just letting someone know when they are not functioning. Usually there is a receptionist or security person nearby. Just keep an eye out for accessibility features in public and if you see something in disrepair, alerting someone could save a future disabled person a great deal of trouble.

And general awareness is great too. If you see someone blocking something or parking in the wrong spot, take a picture and post it. Tell your followers "Saw this. Very not cool." Visuals can help make this real for people and get them to actually think about the problem.

One other thing you can do is watch out for shopping carts blocking accessible spaces. I often see people leaving carts in disabled parking spots or blocking entrances. If you see that, just take the cart back to where it is supposed to be.

And like I mentioned before, please don't ever assume someone is not disabled. Disabled people sometimes get confronted for being fakers out in public. Just because someone uses a wheelchair does not mean they cannot stand or walk. It usually means that standing/walking is very painful and they can only manage it for short distances. I've seen countless pictures on social media of someone in a wheelchair standing up in a grocery aisle to grab something from the top shelf. People laugh and call them frauds. But people have no idea why they need that wheelchair so don't make assumptions.

And some disabled people have invisible disabilities. I personally cannot walk long distances without terrible lower back pain. People like me can benefit greatly from parking closer and cutting down the total distance walked. I don't feel I need disabled parking yet, I can usually manage the pain. But that could change someday and it would be nice if people didn't accuse me and others of fraud without proper evidence.

OH! One more thing. Do not give disabled people help unless they explicitly ask for it or are in danger of hurting themselves. Like if you see someone losing their balance or something. I know people think they are being kind, but this can be maddening. Sometimes people need to feel independent and capable when they have physical limitations. Disabled people will go to great lengths to find ways to help themselves in all sorts of situations. They may have grabby thingies to reach things on high shelves. Visually impaired folks may have apps on their phone that help them know which groceries are near them. Yes, it might be easier for them if you gave them a hand, but that is up to them to ask for that help if they want it.

So just be mindful of those things and do your best to help out when appropriate.

Thank you so much for wanting to help.

[compassionatereminders]

Random ramble and maybe discussion:

I think what really bugs me about posts like "If I don't talk to you it doesn't mean I've stopped liking you, it probably just means I have a lot going on" is that like... yeah, sure, we've all been there, we all get it. And sometimes that's even more of a perpetual state of being. But the problem is, it's completely indistinguishable from withdrawing from someone you don't really like that much and hoping they'll take the hint.

And I don't mean that in a manipulative way where people will do that instead of communicating. I mean more that verbalized communication is usually reserved for more serious problems and expectation mismatches than just "this person is trying to be friends with me more than I really want to reciprocate". I have a few casual friends who I like a lot but I'm not really interested in becoming besties with them, though sometimes I get the sense they do want us to be closer. But if they started messaging me more often, a lot more than I'm interested in talking, I could never imagine saying, to their face, "Thanks but could you cool it a bit? I don't really want to be this close" - unless it got really bad. That would feel so cold and needlessly confrontational? It would probably just kill the friendship outright, and for what?

Like it or not, "soft" communication like only giving someone a certain amount of your time or energy and letting them adjust their expectations and their own behavior accordingly tend to be what relationships like that rely on. So people who say that you're still friends but then act indistinguishable from someone hoping you'll lose their number already throw me for a goddamn loop.

You would think that communication would help here, but in my experience, people will quite often go "It's not you it's me" but not really be telling the truth to you or themselves when all is said and done.

Unless I'm completely wrong and missing something obvious here. Maybe we need new and unambiguous (but still somehow inoffensive?) ways to signal disinterest, god.

This is why I think it's so important to communicate it when you ARE genuinely interested but are struggling to reciprocate for whatever reason. Like if it's genuinely not because you don't care to talk and hope they'll take the hint if you just ignore them, tell them that. Communicate it. Explain what's happening. Because that'll clearly distinguish it from the "I hope they'll take the hint" kind of intentional dismissal you're talking about here.

#chat with kat

[mbti-notes]

Anon wrote: (Follow up to post 698753602168242176) Hello there! 23m INFJ here. I'd first like to say that I'm extremely grateful for your patience with my previous asks. The insight you provided into my stack–particularly around the theme of having a lack of integrity–has given me much to think about over these (almost two!) years. I want to ask for your insight on a roadblock I've encountered multiple times in the therapy I've been receiving over the past year.

In almost every single session, I come fully prepared: I rehearse a list of 'problem topics' to discuss with my therapist in-session, and try to mine as much insight as I can from them before I discuss. My therapist prefers an unstructured kind of approach, allowing me to form what the sessions look like, and I have preferred having a 'route' of scenarios that link together with common themes, just to ensure that I am effectively using my therapy time.

One issue I've ran into is that we often finish discussion of these topics with plenty of time to spare, leaving me a little lost for words. I believe I am a person who is good at improvising conversation, but in these moments in therapy I run into a complete standstill: my mind draws blank, I have zero perception of what has bothered me, and I am unable to produce anything 'meaningful' for our sessions.

A couple of times, I have asked my therapist: "Do you have any questions for me?" With which he always asks me the same questions: "Why are you here today? What do you need help with? What bothers you right now, in your day-to-day life?" These questions always, always catch me off-guard and I'm unable to answer. I have an extremely poor perception of myself, and usually feel nothing on a day-to-day basis. I try to explain this as best as I can to my therapist, to which he says he understands, but cannot help me if I am not providing a source of conflict/pain/discomfort to work with. This often leaves me extremely upset and frustrated, like I'm a lost cause or incapable of receiving help.

In recent sessions I've tried to be more freeform and less structured, and it does feel like it's helping. However, I do still have this fear that I'm approaching things completely wrong, like it's impossible for anyone to help me if I'm not even sure what I need help for. This lack of self-awareness is nauseating and I don't know how to fix it.

------------------------

Therapy isn't a performance or competition. It's not a place to get judged or judge yourself. It's not a test or exam that you have to prepare the right answers to pass. It's also not an exact science of rules to follow to the letter. Ideally, therapy is a safe space for you to explore freely and gradually raise self-awareness as you discover more about yourself.

Some aspects of the therapeutic process upset you and you stewed about them alone, perhaps because you are in the habit of keeping a tight leash on yourself and can't proceed unless you feel more in control of things. Many Js have a tendency to manage anxiety by imposing structure or control. In the real world, this tendency easily becomes a deeply ingrained habit because you regularly get rewarded for "having it together" or "being on top of things". However, in the therapy world, one of the main goals is to let feelings/emotions rise up and come out freely so that you can explore what they really mean. Therefore, the habit of being too controlled/controlling can work against you in therapy if it basically creates a dam that prevents the deeper parts of your psyche from flowing out.

This might be why approaching sessions in a less structured way is helpful, as you release yourself from the compulsion to control. It allows you to discover important things that you didn't realize needed to be explored. Instead of going off alone to stew about whatever upset you, why not express your feelings as they happen in real-time? Why ask me about it rather than the therapist? Whatever it is you need to happen or want to do, either allow it or communicate about it honestly. E.g. If you don't know what else to say and it starts to make you anxious, communicate your anxiety to the therapist. If the therapist asks questions that catch you off-guard or make you feel bad, then explore the negative feelings right then and there.

In my last response, I said: "If you are indeed INFJ, to get back on the right type development path requires you to confront and resolve the deeper emotional problems that have been festering." This means emotional intelligence is a key factor in your personal growth. It's important that you learn to welcome and embrace feelings/emotions as they come and process them as they exist in the present, rather than ruminating on them after the fact. This also ties in with the issue of integrity; it's hard to maintain integrity when you're not in touch with yourself and listening carefully to your emotional needs.

The habit of keeping feelings/emotions at bay or tightly under control is usually indicative of an underlying fear of them. As long as you fear looking within (or keep trying to obscure what's really happening because you don't like what you see/feel), therapy is going to seem slowgoing. Perhaps you think therapy should be revealing certain truths to you, but, actually, you should be the one revealing the truths. The therapist is only there to reflect your truths back to you with greater clarity. While the therapist has a genuine desire to help, it is an important part of their training to never work harder than the client. They only work with what you give them, so, if it seems as though there's not much happening, it's because you haven't revealed enough of yourself.

This brings us to the most important point of what's really stopping you from revealing yourself. You seem to have an issue with being self-critical. Self-critical people can't stand to look at themselves and they assume others will judge them similarly, which leads to feeling anxious or unsafe in social situations. Many people cope by getting into the habit of hiding all the aspects of themselves that are deemed "ugly" or "undesirable", which often includes all the negative feelings and emotions they don't want to experience. In the end, all that is visible is the mask they've chosen.

Until you can approach yourself with more kindness and compassion, the safety of hiding or obscuring the truth of yourself will always be too tempting. Perhaps self-compassion and self-expression are issues you can work on in therapy. Allow yourself to be human and "imperfect" and drop the facade of control, and then you might find that you have a lot more material to work with.

#infj #auxiliary fe #ti loop #emotional intelligence #social anxiety #self compassion #self esteem #self worth #control #perfectionism #therapy #psychology #ask

[not-so-avid-fanfic-writer]

Alien Blues

Pairing: Keigo Takami/Hawks X autistic reader

This one shot contains fluff, nesting, maybe some angst, and something that I always call 'autism dominance' (idk the real term for it, but it's basically and autistic individual who's traits are more noticeable than usual, probably due to stress)

DO NOT REPOST/PLAGARISE

Reblogs are greatly appreciated.

Based on this post

Quirk is from my Fan Fic series, Endless Forms Most Beautiful (but not the same universe) and you can read the info sheet here

Right now you just wanted to cry, but you almost visibly recoiled at the thought of your face feeling wet and sticky with salt.

The whole day, all you wanted was to be buried in your lover's arms, wings wrapped around each other, tucked into the corner of your apartment that was turned into a nest.

But instead you were stuck shoulder to shoulder with every type of stranger possible on the subway home from your dream-turned-nightmare 9-5 job.

You swear you've almost been fired a couple of times today. From your 'informal' work attitude because of you're stimming, to not wanting to give you're sweaty palmed and just generally unclean superior physical contact.

You can almost feel how moist your bones are inside your body, and count every air molecule that that you felt pounding against your skin as your finally freed from the metal cage of nightmarish speed. Speaking of nightmarish speeds, that's the one you chose to run at to guarantee no more sensory problems on your way home.

You wish you could fly, you really do. But the contract your company had with you which meant you couldn't use your quirk, unless it was for what was classed as a genuine reason.

As you closed the door to the apartment, you peeled your feet out of the ridiculous dress shoes the company had you wear so you could morph you feet into a more comfortable and natural state.

Stretching your wings and arms above your head, you wander your home searching for pillows, blankets, and most importantly, your beloved, Keigo Takami.

You heard the door open and close mid forage, and you whip your head around, eyes locking on the intruder.

"Keigo!" You sobbed, not realising your love was going to be home so early. Soon you found yourself breaking down in his arms.

"Hey, hey. Baby calm down. Let's get you into the nest, and I'll get you some snacks." He offered, and all you could muster was a quiet 'mhm' , and as soon as your body hit the circular mattress in your living room, you went limp, and Keigo left to get something to eat from the kitchen, as well as the blankets you had dropped.

"Today was shit." You spat out. "They kept on touching me."

"I know, baby bird. How about we finish the nest, order some takeout, and watch that ghost show you like?"

You look up at him from your spot in the nest, baffled.

"You're willing to watch Lockwood & Co. with me? You never do this."

"Sometimes sacrifices need to be made to make people happy."

~*-*~Timeskip~*-*~

A few pizzas and a finished nest later, you and Keigo were cuddling, your back to his chest.

He suddenly spoke up,

"I don't think she did look in the mirror."

You turn to look at him with a raised eye, questioning him.

"The one with the curly hair? I personally think she had enough time to look while George got the net."

. . .

There was silence for a bit before Keigo spoke.

"Nah, I don't think so, c'm'ere."

And before you knew it, you were pinned, deft hands working at your sides, causing you to writhe and giggle, almost to the point of pain.

"NO KEI- STOP, PLEASE." You squealed.

"Only if you stop being such a smart ass."

"AAAAHHH, FINE FINE JUST STOOPP, PLEASE."

. . .

Keigo flopped down onto you, and you welcomed it, the pressure grounding you.

"Y'know," you said, "I lied about what I said earlier." You admitted.

"Oh, shaddup."

That was fun to write

This prompt was made by @mirukosbitchywife

I hope I can use more of them in the future

Anyways, bye for now :]

-Ez

#Spotify #x reader #autistic reader #x autistic reader #fanfic #x y/n #actually autistic #hawks #bnha hawks #keigo takami #hawks x gender neutral reader

[rohirric-hunter]

I've posted a lot of complaints about things I see in returns and never really outlined what a good return looks like, so here's some information about that, both to make the life of the person processing the return easier and to get you your refund as quickly and easily as possible:

You really shouldn't buy things off of Amazon if the storefront you're buying from has a website elsewhere, but we all do anyway. What I think a lot of people don't know though is how exactly it works. See, you go to Amazon, pick out something you like, and pay Amazon money to send it to you. However, Amazon doesn't actually have the item you just bought. Instead, they take most of the money you paid them and go to our website and buy the item you ordered, but tell us to ship it to you. So there's actually two transactions; one where you buy the item from Amazon and one where Amazon buys the item from us. Simple as. It's all automated and happens basically instantaneously, of course.

The problem arises when you need to return something. In theory, it should work in reverse; you return the item to us, we refund the money to Amazon, Amazon refunds the money to you. No problem. And with most third party vendors that aren't Amazon it isn't a problem. However, the thing about Amazon is that they will just not do that. Like, we'll refund them and they'll just keep the money unless we call them and harass them about it. Like we actually have people at my work whose job it is to preemptively call Amazon and harass them about giving people their refunds.

The thing to draw from this is to understand that your refund is going to take longer if you went through Amazon. We can't refund you directly because we don't have any record of your credit card. You can also hurry the process along by returning any paperwork you got with your item along with it, including the original invoice (if there was one) and shipping label, or copies of them. Writing down the order number is also helpful, but it has to be the one on the invoice, not Amazon's order number. Amazon refuses to tell us which of their order numbers and return authorization numbers correspond to which of our order numbers and RAs -- that's another thing we have to call and harass them about.

Notes of any sort are fine and even usually welcome if they contain things like the order number or RA. We do read them. You don't need to tape them to the item, though. As long as they're inside the packaging it'll be fine almost all the time. And you should avoid putting sticky things on the item, especially if it's not broken.

Speaking of packaging, please put your item into a shipping container of some sort. Shipping boxes are free at any post office in the US. They don't care if you take the box out and then use it to ship with FedEx or whatever. Whatever fancy store packaging the item came in is not made to handle the duress of being shipped and it will be damaged if you try to ship it that way.

If you're returning something because it's broken, please return the actual item, or at least part of it. We don't care that it's broken and we're not judging you, but if you just return the packaging, or worse yet, no packaging and a note that it was broken, we will (a) not believe you and (b) not process the return. And don't return things that you've opened carefully taped up to look like you didn't open them. At most places it doesn't matter and you'll get a full refund anyway. And at the places where it does matter... we can tell. We know exactly what these things are supposed to look like because we work in the warehouse where they live. We see seven thousand of them a day. We know what they look like.

If you return something in the original package that it came in, leave the original shipping label on the box and don't destroy it. In circumstances like the Amazon situation (Walmart and Target also refuse to tell us what order we're actually working with) it can be really helpful to find your order quickly and get you your refund. Instead, cover it up with something that can be removed, ideally your shipping label if it's not sticky on the back.

And, as always, don't ship with FedEx. They'll send your mail to Some Random Place and it'll never get processed.

#notes from the returns office #blessed are they who include the original invoice in their returns

[hazbin-writings-and-musings]

One FAQ to Rule Them All...

Because I'm lazy, I'm putting all of my info in one place! General rules, resources, and answers to common questions can all be found here with appropriate links!

My Blogs

I currently have three other blogs, which are listed below!

My main Transformers blog is here! It's the one I started with and the biggest, if you would like the most comprehensive look at my writing I'd suggest starting here!

My NSFW Transformers blog is here! I started this one with the intent of doing all kinds of raunchy asks but it evolved into a transformers focused blog just because!

My Lego Monkie Kid blog is here! This one doesn't see much activity anymore, but feel free to check it out!

My Requests

So, why am I here? I got started writing requests for free, and I still do them now when my schedule permits! You can pop into my ask box whenever it's open, give me a short synopsis, and I'll write headcanons or short stories. Whether you prefer to be wordy in your request or just drop in with the bare details, I'll absolutely make it happen if inspiration hits. I do try to answer everything in my inbox eventually, but I can't guarantee it, so please don't take it personally. There are many ideas I LOVE but just don't have the spoons to answer properly!

Requests can include as many characters as you'd like, but I always reserve the right to select whichever ones work best for me.

My Commissions

If you've seen my writing and like it enough to want something more tailored to your needs, be on the lookout for when I open up commissions! My current status can be found at the top of my page!

My Rules

I like to keep things casual so I don't have many rules, but here are the essentials, please message me for any clarification.

1. I expect a basic level of decency from anyone on my page and posts, and reserve the right to block without question. Thankfully this one isn't too hard, just don't be a jerk and we'll get along, but still needs to be posted because some people can never remember to behave!

2. If you ever have any issues with anything I've posted, like wanting a tag to be introduced, please notify me through my direct messages! As a forewarning, I will not answer if your issue is related to a ship, headcanon or canon divergence in my writing. You're free to block me and move on with your day, as we both have better things to do!

3. Requests will be answered if and when I have the time and inspiration. There's no problem asking me what I am working on, but repeated inquiring will be ignored. Yes, this means it may never be answered, but unfortunately I work a full time job and just can't dedicate the hours I'd need to answer every ask. Maybe someday that will change!

4. This particular blog will have SFW and NSFW posts, so PLEASE don't follow unless you're 18+!

Common Questions

1. Do I have to pay for requests? Nope! You can leave as many as you want in my inbox, but the caveat is I get to choose which to write and when. If you want to guarantee something is written you have to commission me when I have them open.

2. What are prompts? I tend to enjoy applying the same scenario to different characters, as I find it a fantastic writing excercise, so I will develop prompts around specific situations as a kind of shorthand! The name of a prompt will usually be in the tags, but if I haven't written it in a while a link is always helpful!

3. Will you roleplay with me? I'm afraid I'm just not much into RP, sorry!

That's all for now! Thank you and have a lovely day!

#faq #my writing #my asks #requests #commissions #hazbin hotel #hazbin hotel x reader #hazbin hotel x you #hazbin hotel x y/n

[cloudinterlude]

Would you like to describe the personality of Howard Stark? And understand what kind of person he really is. I think he is hiding behind a mask... (sorry, english is not my native language)

Hi! First of all, no need for apologies, I get what you're asking! <3 <3 Long post ahead!

So, as it is known, I really like Howard for similar reasons why I like Tony. They're scarily similar and I can never stop thinking how much Tony would not like to hear that. I have a few Howard posts where I describe what I think of him here, here, and here mainly. Anyways, onwards!

See, there are different Howards to consider here. The one we see in CATFA and Agent Carter and the one we hear about from Tony, Fury, ect. I like talking about Agent Carter Howard the most because he's just so interesting.

Is he wearing a mask to hide his true emotions? The fastest answer is yes, but I think it's more complicated than that. It's that questions (something I sometime apply to Tony as well) "How long does it take for the mask become who you truly are?" Because there reaches a point where the person you constantly project isn't just a coverup. I think Howard's bravado, occasionally asshole-ish ways, womanizing, deceit, ect - all those less savory aspects are a piece of who he is, but it's not all he is of course. He has a ton of great qualities, usually shown in his friendships.

I've said before that I think Howard is an incredibly fractured character. I think he knows exactly what he's feeling most of the time, but never knows how to deal with the emotions he feels. He's obsessive to the point of self-destruction, and when he does self-destruct (or ends up hurting other people), he feels incredible amounts of guilt that never fully goes away. Instead, he uses that guilt to fuel his next project that will surely fix all his problems (until it actually ends up causing more messes).

I don't want to woobify Howard because I don't think that's what's going on with him. I do think he shield his emotions from others - not really from himself, but he does dampen them. I don't think Howard knows how to process heavy amounts of feelings in a proper way. Unless he's cornered, run down and essentially forced to. And he does have a few vulnerable moments we see in Agent Carter. When Peggy confronts him about lying about Steve's blood (he breaks down, basically declares his love for Steve, and talks about how deceit is how he was able to get anywhere due to his origins), when the villain captures him and threatens to blow New York to shreds (he tells them that they can do whatever they want to him and begs them to leave innocent people out of it), when we hear about what happened when the military got their hands on his failed experiment (he punches the guy in charge and locks up all his more dangerous inventions), the plane scene (Howard feels immense guilt over Steve crashing and dying, and desperately wants to find him and bring him home). These are all moments of genuineness we get from him...albeit moments where there is no other option but to be vulnerable. Regardless, this is 1000% mask off, last ditch effort Howard and I love that.

Of course there's like, an incredibly huge gap between Agent Carter Howard and the Howard we hear and see from Tony, Fury, ect. I suspect that Howard did undergo a pretty dark change in how he conducted himself sue to various things...starting with being the head of SHIELD during the end of WW2-Cold War. Could you imagine? Lol. And we already established that Howard doesn't deal with guilt well. In fact, I'd say that when it came to him taking "necessary sacrifices" he probably shut down his more...inconvenient emotions off as long as he could before he drunk himself into a stupor...then onto the next day.

When it comes to Howard and his family, specifically Tony, well, I don't think there's much I can say that I haven't already said. Howard loved Tony. Howard missed Tony when he wasn't there (Maria's words). Howard was also a bad father because he neglected Tony. Howard saw a kid that was too similar to himself and that seemed to be one of his biggest fears going by what he said in Endgame. I don't think he knew what to do with that whatsoever. Maybe he thought the less he had to do with him, the less Tony would turn out like him. Maybe he thought he could cut down the influence. Maybe all the dark things he's seen, done, ordered, ignored convinced him that he had nothing to offer in being a father, or that he'd make Tony worse. Maybe he thought Obie, Maria and Jarvis had Tony set straight well enough. Who knows really. Every loving thing Howard has said about Tony was told to Tony by a third party (Fury, Maria).

Howard is kind of an enigma, except not really. We don't know specifics, but it's so easy to put together his character with canon, context clues and US history. I like Howard, a whole lot. I don't get many opportunities to talk about him unprovoked so thanks for this ask!

#sometimes I wished I knew how to insert gifs on this site to illustrate my points better #anyways #howard stark #trash gremlin stark #agent carter #post office #thank you anon

[munch-o-rama]

Welcome to my blog!

my name's Matt/Critter, i go by it/its and this is my munchies blog! i mainly post fandom munchies, so if you're not so fond of that then i would recommend you don't follow me.

my askbox and dms are always open!! i really enjoy getting asks and messages, so don't feel afraid to talk to me!

to anons trying to warn me about "being a child in a fetish space", i'm 16 turning 17 in July, i make it very clear that i don't want people who see vore/munchies as a fetish interacting with me and go out of my way to block people like that if necessary, and i usually keep to myself. i'm not being "fetish mined" or whatever you wanna call it, i make a very large majority of my munchies art for myself and i only post here because i like some of the attention and people just like my art. a large portion of my friends in this community are 15-18, not grown ass adults. plus, a blog is MEANT to be your little space. unless something actually happens, i'm not taking advice from people too scared to get off anon telling me to private MY space, it's not my fucking fault people might get a boner scrolling thru my blog.

MY TAGS: # critter barks # whats in my mailbox today? # unnamed c.u vore tag # dogmaw # critters thoughts # i need a t.rolls vore tag goddamn # munchies stuff

DO NOT INTERACT IF:

anti-vore (duhh)

18+/NSFW blog

weightgain/stuffing blog (sfw stuffing is allowed, however!! but i will be suspicious if you are a weightgain blog due to personal experiences)

dsmp or just any smp vore idk (i have. personal reasons as to why i dont want people like this interacting)

child/feral vore, even if it's SFW and for comfort reasons.

basic DNI

if you're planning on sexualizing anything i've made.

if you *only* post about digestion in vore. i'm very much more comfy with endo, and i'll only post about digestion stuff if i intend on it being gooey/painless digestion with reformation.

BEFORE YOU FOLLOW:

i'm kinda busy during the week because of school, so apologies if i don't respond to anything as quickly as possible.

if you hadn't caught onto this yet, i don't like vore/munchies as a sexual thing, and that is it. i do enjoy SOME romantic scenarios or certain risky tropes like teasing, but nothing more than that. it may be a fetish/kink to some, but it isn't to me, so i'd recommend keeping that sort of talk away from this blog.

a lot of my fandom-related works revolve around media that was specifically meant for younger audiences, so i also wouldn't recommend following me if you do not like that.

im objectum and alterhuman. if you have a problem with that, leave.

#intro post #cw vore #tw vore #vore talk #dogmaw #critter barks #whats in my mailbox today? #unnamed c.u vore tag #critters thoughts