#i don’t actually listen to that much bon iver guys

[bananaofswifts]

Taylor Swift appears to be waging war over the serial resale of her old master recordings on two fronts. She recently confirmed that she is already underway in the process of re-recording the six albums she made for the Big Machine label, in order to steer her fans (and sync licensing execs) toward the coming alternate versions she’ll control. But now that she’s followed the surprise release of “Folklore” with the very, very surprise release of “Evermore” less than five months later, the thought may occur: If she keeps up this pace, she may have more new albums out on the Republic label than she ever did on Big Machine in a quarter of the time. Flooding the zone to further crowd out the oldies is unlikely to be Swift’s real motivation for giving the world a full-blown “Folklore” sequel this instantaneously: As motivations for prolific activity go, relieving and sublimating quarantine pressure is probably even better than revenge. Anyway, this is not a gift horse to be looked in the mouth. “Evermore,” like its mid-pandemic predecessor, feels like something that’s been labored over — in the best possible way — for years, not something that was written and recorded beginning in August, with the bow said to be put on it only about a week ago. Albums don’t get graded on a curve for how hastily they came together, or shouldn’t be, but this one doesn’t need the handicap. It’d be a jewel even if it’d been in progress forevermore and a day.The closest analog for the relation the new album bears to its predecessor might be one that’d seem ancient to much of Swift’s audience: U2 following “Achtung Baby” with “Zooropa” while still touring behind the previous album. It’s hard to remember now that a whole year and a half separated those two related projects; In that very different era, it seemed like a ridiculously fast follow-up. But the real comparison lies in how U2, having been rewarded for making a pretty gutsy change of pace with “Achtung,” seemed to say: You’re okay with a little experimentation? Let’s see how you like it when we really boil things down to our least commercial impulses, then — while we’ve still got you in the mood.Swift isn’t going avant-garde with “Evermore.” If anything, she’s just stripping things down to even more of an acoustic core, so that the new album often sounds like the folk record that the title of the previous one promised — albeit with nearly subliminal layers of Mellotrons, flutes, French horns and cellos that are so well embedded beneath the profuse finger-picking, you probably won’t notice them till you scour the credits. But it’s taking the risk of “Folklore” one step further by not even offering such an obvious banger (irony intended) as “Cardigan.” Aaron Dessner of the National produced or co-produced about two-thirds of the last record, but he’s on 14 out of 15 tracks here (Jack Antonoff gets the remaining spot), and so the new album is even more all of a piece with his arpeggiated chamber-pop impulses, Warmth amid iciness is a recurring lyrical motif here, and kind of a musical one, too, as Swift’s still increasingly agile vocal acting breathes heat into arrangements that might otherwise seem pretty controlled. At one point Swift sings, “Hey, December, I’m feeling unmoored,” like a woman who might even know she’s going to put her album out a couple of weeks before Christmas. It’s a wintry record — suitable for double-cardigan wearing! — and if you’re among the 99% who have been feeling unmoored, too, then perhaps you are Ready For It. Swift said in announcing the album that she was moving further into fiction songwriting after finding out it was a good fit on much of “Folklore,” a probably inevitable move for someone who’s turning 31 in a few days and appears to have a fairly settled personal life. Which is not to say that there aren’t scores to settle, and a few intriguing tracks whose real-life associations will be speculated upon. But just as the “Betty”/”August” love triangle of mid-year established that modern pop’s most celebrated confessional writer can just make shit up, too, so, here, do we get the narrator of “Dorothea,” a honey in Tupelo who is telling a childhood friend who moved away and became famous that she’s always welcome back in her hometown. (Swift may be doing a bit of empathic wondering in a couple of tracks here how it feels to be at the other end of the telescope.) One time the album takes a turn away from rumination into a pure spirit of fun — while getting dark anyway — is “No Body, No Crime,” a spirited double-murder ballad that may have more than a little inspiration in “Goodbye, Earl.” Since Swift already used the Dixie Chicks for background vocals two albums ago, for this one she brings in two of the sisters from Haim, Danielle and Este, and even uses the latter’s name for one of the characters. Yes, the rock band Haim’s featured appearance is on the only really country-sounding song on the record… there’s one you didn’t see coming, in the 16 hours you had to wonder about it. Yet there are also a handful of songs that clearly represent a Swiftian state of mind. At least, it’s easy to suppose that the love songs that opens the album, “Willow,” is a cousin to the previous record’s “Invisible String” and “Peace,” even if it doesn’t offer quite as many clearly corroborating details about her current relationship as those did. On the sadder side, Swift is apparently determined to run through her entire family tree for heartrending material. On “Lover,” she sang for her stricken mother; on “Folklore,” for her grandfather in wartime. In that tradition the new album offers “Marjorie,” about the beloved grandmother she lost in 2003, when she was 13. (The lyric videos that are being offered online mostly offer static visual loops, but the one for “Marjorie” is an exception, reviving a wealth of stills and home-movie footage of Grandma, who was quite a looker in a miniskirt in her day.) Rue is not something Swift is afraid of here anymore than anywhere else, as she sings, “I should’ve asked you questions / I should’ve asked you how to be / Asked you to write it down for me / Should’ve kept every grocery store receipt / ‘Cause every scrap of you would be taken from me,” lines that will leave a dry eye only in houses that have never known death. The piece de resistance in its poignance is Swift actually resurrecting faint audio clips of Marjorie, who was an opera singer back in the day. It’s almost like ELO’s “Rockaria,” played for weeping instead of a laugh. Swift has not given up, thank God, on the medium that brought her to the dance — the breakup song — but most of them here have more to do with dimming memories and the search for forgiveness, however slowly and incompletely achieved, than feist. But doesn’t Swift know that we like her when she’s angry? She does, and so she delves deep into something like venom just once, but it’s a good one. The ire in “Closure,” a pulsating song about an unwelcome “we can still be friends, right?” letter from an ex, seems so fresh and close to the surface that it would be reasonable to speculate that it is not about a romantic relationship at all, but a professional one she has no intention of ever recalling in a sweet light. Or maybe she does harbor that a disdain for an actual former love with that machinelike a level of intensity. What “Evermore” is full of is narratives that, like the music that accompanies them, really come into focus on second or third listen, usually because of a detail or two that turns her sometimes impressionistic modes completely vivid. “Champagne Problems” is a superb example of her abilities as a storyteller who doesn’t always tell all: She’s playing the role of a woman who quickly ruins a relationship by balking at a marriage proposal the guy had assumed was an easy enough yes that he’d tipped off his nearby family. “Sometimes you just don’t know the answer ‘ Til someone’s on their knees and asks you / ‘She would’ve made such a lovely bride / What a shame she’s fucked in the head’ / They said / But you’ll find the real thing instead / She’ll patch up your tapestry that I shred.” (Swift has doubled the F-bomb quotient this time around, among other expletives, for anyone who may be wondering whether there’s rough wordplay amid Dessner’s delicacy — that would an effing yes.) “‘Tis the Damn Season,” representing a gentler expletive, gives us a character who is willing to settle, or at least share a Christmas-time bed with an ex back in the hometown, till something better comes along. The pleasures here are shared, though not many more fellow artists have broken into her quarantine bubble this time around. Besides Haim’s cameo, Marcus Mumford offers a lovely harmony vocal on “Cowboy Like Me,” which might count as the other country song on the album, and even throws in something Swift never much favored in her Nashville days, a bit of lap steel. Its tale of male and female grifters meeting and maybe — maybe — falling in love is really more determinedly Western than C&W, per se, though. The National itself, as a group, finally gets featured billing on “Coney Island,” with Matt Berninger taking a duet vocal on a track that recalls the previous album’s celebrated Bon Iver collaboration “Exile,” with ex-lovers taking quiet turns deciding who was to blame. (Swift saves the rare laugh line for herself: “We were like the mall before the internet / It was the one place to be.) Don’t worry, legions of new Bon Iver fans: Dessner has not kicked Justin Vernon out of his inner circle just to make room for Berninger. The Bon Iver frontman whose appearance on “Folklore” came as a bit of a shock to some of his fan base actually makes several appearances on this album, and the one that gets him elevated to featured status again, as a duet, the closing “Evermore,” is different from “Exile” in two key ways. Vernon gets to sing in his high register… and he gets the girl. As it turned out, the year 2020 did not involve any such waiting for Swift fans; it’s an embarrassment of stunning albums-ending-in-“ore” that she’s mined out of a locked-down muse.

#taylor swift #evermore #review

[path-of-my-childhood]

Aaron Dessner Talks Taylor Swift’s New Album folklore

By: Sam Sodomsky for Pitchfork Date: July 24th 2020

Like millions of people across the world, Taylor Swift spent the past few months in isolation, stuck at home, changing plans, reflecting on the past, and imagining new connections. One of those new connections was with Aaron Dessner, the multi-instrumentalist and producer from the National.

On release day, he called us from his home in the Hudson Valley to speak about their entirely virtual but highly collaborative process, sounding just as surprised as anyone. “Nobody needs to tell Taylor Swift how to write a song - and I certainly didn’t,” he says with a laugh. “But it did feel like we were going toe-to-toe pushing each other.”

What is your personal relationship with Taylor Swift’s music? I’ve always admired her craftsmanship and talent. But 1989 was the first one I was really listening to as a fan. My brother [Bryce Dessner, guitarist in the National] and I were in Iceland with [performance artist] Ragnar Kjartansson, and he’s a total Swiftie. It was the summer of 1989, and we’d be hanging out listening to it loud. Ragnar is an art historian, so he was just contextualizing every moment. It was a lot of fun. That’s when we became bigger fans.

When did you actually meet her for the first time? We met her at Saturday Night Live in 2014 when Lena Dunham was hosting. And then she came to see us play last summer in Prospect Park during this crazy torrential downpour. She was there with Antoni [Porowski] from Queer Eye. She talked a lot with my brother and me. That’s when we realized how much of a fan she was, and how lovely and down to earth. I don’t know that many people who have that sort of success, so it’s a nice feeling to realize they’re cool. That left a good impression.

She got in touch again at the end of April. I got a text and it said, “Hey it’s Taylor. Would you ever be up for writing songs with me?” I said, “Wow. Of course.” It was a product of this time. Everything we had planned got cancelled. Everything she had planned got cancelled. It was a time when the ideas in the back of your head came to the front. That’s how it started.

You ended up with a credit on 11 of the 16 songs. How did the collaboration get going? At the very beginning of March, Justin Vernon and I had gone to Texas to work on the new Big Red Machine album. I had been living with my family in France as COVID was starting to spiral out of control in Europe. I said to my wife that maybe they should come back to the States with me because I was worried about getting separated. So we got tickets, and my kids and wife flew to [the family’s home in] Upstate New York and I flew to Texas. I was there for a week, and by the time I got back Upstate, the borders were being shut and we got stuck. I have the Long Pond studio here, so in a way it was lucky.

I hunkered down here and started to write a ton of music - more than I ever have. I thought maybe they were National or Big Red Machine ideas or maybe something totally different. Things were happening.

So when [Taylor] reached out, I had this large folder of ideas that were pretty well on their way. She was very clear that she didn’t want me to edit any of my ideas; she wanted to hear everything that was interesting to me at this moment, including really odd, experimental noise. So I made a folder of stuff, including some pretty out-there sketches. A few hours later, she sent “Cardigan,” fully written in a voice memo. That’s when I realized that this was unusual—just the focus and clarity of her ideas. It was pretty astonishing. Over the next couple months, this would just happen; all of a sudden, I’d get a voice memo. And then another. Eventually, it was so inspiring that I wrote more ideas that were specifically in response to what she was writing.

When did it occur to you that an album was forming? There were moments when we started to reflect on what we were doing. The first three songs we wrote were “Cardigan,” “Seven,” and “Peace.” “Cardigan” is probably the closest to a pop song on the record—it’s this epic narrative. And then “Seven” was this nostalgic, wistful, emotional folk song. And then when she wrote “Peace,” I realized she can do anything! She is so versatile. It’s just a harmonized bassline with a pulse and a drone, and she basically wrote a Joni Mitchell love song to it. She only did one vocal take, and that’s what’s on the record.

Were you communicating through the whole process? Yeah. We were pretty much in touch daily for three or four months by text and phone calls. Some of it was about production and restructuring things but a lot of it was just excitement. We both felt that this was some of the best work we have done. That was a strange and surreal thing to have happen, especially at this time.

At one point I was randomly doxxed by right-wing conspiracy theorists who misidentified me as an Antifa organizer in Ohio, long story, but it was in the middle of all this work. I didn’t want to stress her out so I didn’t tell her. But at some point she laughed and said, “So you’re a notorious anarchist?” And I’m like, “Yeah, I was gonna mention that."

How did the collaboration with Bon Iver on “Exile” come about? Taylor wrote that one with the singer-songwriter William Bowery. When Taylor sent it to me as a voice memo, she sang both the male and female parts - as much as she could fit in without losing her breath. We talked about who she was imagining joining her, and she loves Justin [Vernon]’s voice in Bon Iver and Big Red Machine. She was like, “Oh my god, I would die if he would do it. It would be so perfect.” I didn’t want to put pressure on Justin as his friend, so I said, “Well, it depends on if he’s inspired by the song but I know he thinks you’re rad.” Which he does.

So I sent him the song and he was really into it. He tweaked some parts and added parts as well - the bridge where he says, “Step right out.” The end too, and his choral parts. It was fun because Justin and I work on a lot of stuff together, so it was very easy and natural. At some point I felt like a superfan, hearing two of my favorite singers. This was all being done remotely, but it was one of those moments where your head hits the back of the wall and you’re like, “Fuck. Okay.”

There is some fan debate over William Bowery’s identity - I’m not familiar with him. I’m not either. I haven’t actually met him because of social distancing, which is kind of funny. I think he’s a friend.

Did you feel the pressure of working with an artist at Taylor Swift’s level? I tried hard not to think about the scope or scale of making a record that would be heard by millions and millions of people. I did a pretty good job of tuning that out. Music for me is an emotional necessity. It’s therapy. It’s what I live and breathe. All these songs are things I was working on already, and we both felt there was some serendipity in the fact that we ended up in this situation together. I just stayed focused on that, on making this as good as we can.

As the release got closer, I almost thought it wouldn’t happen. Or maybe I just told myself that! The National guys will tell you the same thing - I tend to work until the last possible minute. I didn’t really have a moment to be like, “Holy shit! People are gonna hear this.” We were joking about it last night. I said, “So this actually happened?” And she goes, “Yep!”

What was it like working under total secrecy? There was no outside influence at all. In fact, nobody knew, including her label, until hours before it was launched. For someone who’s been in this glaring spotlight for 15 years, it’s really liberating to have some privacy and work on her own terms. She deserves that. At times, if I wanted friends to play on the record, it was a little difficult because you can’t send a file with her vocals. But everyone was cool. At the end, I reached out to some wizards just to add bits, and that was nice. It was kind of fun: “What? Why can’t you tell me, Aaron?” Then they start guessing. Everyone made a game out of it.

Is there any music that was left on the cutting room floor? There are things I feel could still be songs. It does feel like an ongoing collaboration. Now Taylor is starting to help with other things. We’re bouncing other ideas off each other, whether it’s Big Red Machine or other things. There’s a community aspect. I think that’s how music should be.

#the anarchist comment...please lmao =) #also this could mean she is writing for Bon Iver? or their side projects? now THAT I wouldn't mind at all #Aaron Dessner #interview #about taylor #taylor swift #pitchfork #folklore era #folklore album #release week

[jazziehart]

Taylor Swift Albums Reviews

Hello my lovely blog readers,

I want to thank those of you who stick around through all my crazy rants and long Glee posts. You guys are the real MVPs and I will always appreciate you.

Anyway onto why we're here, in the wake of Taylor rereleasing her albums I found it fitting to take a look back at her discorgaphy so far! Thanks to my good friend Aly, I decided to relisten to all of her albums which the order was randomly decided. I will be talking about the deluxe editions so enjoy!

Let's start off with the first album that was drawn first which was Red.

One of my favorite albums right off the bat with probably her best album cover. I remember how excited I was for 22, mostly because my girl Dianna Agron's name was in the liner notes. Let's dive into what I thought now about 9 years later!

Favorite Track: Begin Again Least Favorite Track: The Last Time (featuring Gary Lightbody) Bonus Track I Wish was on the main album: All of them!!! Favorite Bonus Track: The Moment I Knew Album Ranking: 6th/9

Overall I adore this album so so much. The only track I didn't care for in the least was The Last Time. I think you'll find a trend with me that my least favorite Tayor tracks tend to be her duets (the exception being Everything Has Changed which is also on this album and is the purest of all). The album has held up and even moreso I love it than the first time I listened. Crazy. Anyway onto the rankings of each song. DISCLAIMER: These are just my opinions and you can disagree with them but please be respectful.

1) Begin Again 2) The Moment I Knew 3) State of Grace (Acoustic Version) 4) I Almost Do 5) Stay Stay Stay 6) All Too Well 7) Everything Has Changed (featuring Ed Sheeran) 8) 22 9) Come Back...Be Here 10) Red 11) I Knew You Were Trouble 12) The Lucky One 13) We Are Never Ever Getting Back Together 14) Starlight 15) Girl at Home 16) Sad Beautiful Tragic 17) State of Grace 18) Holy Ground 19) Treacherous 20) The Last Time (featuring Gary Lightbody)

Honestly I adore this album so much as a whole and ranking every song was so hard. Holy Ground honestly had a lot of potiental I hated the arrangement but if I heard an acoustic version I would be sold, much like State of Grace which I wasn't huge on the original but the acoustic I'm obsessed with. Moving onto our second album which is one of Taylor's newest.

folklore! Funny enough on first listen I wasn't as into it as everyone else was but trust me, the relisten definitely helped me change my mind. I also heard the lakes for the first time which I loved. Since it's the only bonus track I'm going to say I definitely wished it had made the main album over some of the other songs on it. Let's dive into my thoughts and rankings.

Favorite Track: mad woman Least Favorite Track: invisible string Album Ranking: 9th/9

1) mad woman 2) the 1 3) the last great american dynasty 4) mirrorball 5) hoax 6) peace 7) seven 8) august 9) my tears richocet 10) the lakes 11) cardigan 12) betty 13) illicit affairs 14) epiphany 15) this is me trying 16) exile (featuring Bon Iver) 17) invisible string

Okay I know cardigan and betty being so low is going make people unhappy but honestly I just loved the other songs better listed above it. So many gorgeous songs and a great era for Taylor. It's not my favorite era and still falls in my lower half of her albums but I can appreciate the tracks on it more than I did before with the relisten.

Now onto Taylor's most recent album which came up next in our randomization in evermore

Unlike folklore on original listen I absolutely adored this album and had it in my top tier Taylor albums but will that opinion hold up? Let's find out.

Favorite Track: no body, no crime (featuring HAIM) Least Favorite Track: gold rush Favorite Bonus Track: it's time to go Album Ranking: 7th/9

1) no body, no crime (featuring HAIM) 2) happiness 3) champagne problems 4) willow 5) cowboy like me 6) dorothea 7) majorie 8) evermore (featuring Bon Iver) 9) closure 10) long story short 11) ‘tis the damn season 12) ivy 13) it’s time to go 14) coney island (featuring The National) 15) right where you left me 16) tolerate it 17) gold rush Okay let's talk about the relisten, it still held up but to me the one thing I didn't love about the album was the bonus tracks didn't add much to the original album so I kind of see why they were bonus tracks. I enjoyed the album none the less and I do think that most of my opinions are somewhat popular. I only see people being mad about 'tis the damn season being so low but honestly 1-11, I loved all the tracks so.

Up next is the rerelease that started it all, Fearless!

Now let's see after 13 years (hey Taylor's lucky number) if my opinion of this iconic album changed. Back in the day I was so obsessed with this album so let's see how I feel now!

Favorite Track: You're Not Sorry Least Favorite Track: The Way I Loved You Bonus Tracks I Wish was on the main album: Forever and Always (Piano Verison) and Come in with the Rain Favorite Bonus Track: Forever and Always (Piano Version) Album Ranking: 4th/9

1) You’re Not Sorry 2) White Horse 3) Love Story 4) You Belong with Me 5) Change 6) Forever and Always (Piano Version) 7) Fifteen 8) Hey Stephen 9) Come in with the Rain 10) Jump Then Fall 11) Fearless 12) Forever and Always 13) The Best Day 14) The Other Side of the Door 15) Breathe (featuring Colbie Cailaitt) 16) Untouchable 17) SuperStar 18) Tell Me Why 19) The Way I Loved You

I still remember when this album was first coming out how jazzed and excited I was for it. It was highly anticipated for me being that I had fallen in love with Taylor from her debut album and listening back it still holds up as one of my favorite albums. The only two tracks I wasn't into back then and still am not into are Tell Me Why and The Way I Loved You. Other than those two tracks the entire album is incredible to listen to. I'm so excited to hear Taylor's versions of all these songs and who knows maybe my mind will change on some of them.

Moving onto the next album to be randomly selected which is almost every Swiftie's favorite 1989.

Funny enough, originally this album isn't in my top favorites so who knows if my opinion will change on a relisten. Let's find out!

Favorite Track: Clean Least Favorite Track: I Wish You Would Bonus Tracks I Wish was on the main album: All of them?! Come on Taylor what's up with 1989 and Red having like some of their best tracks as bonus tracks. I'm mad haha. Favorite Bonus Track: Wonderland (gee I wonder why) Album Ranking: 5th/9

1) Clean 2) Wonderland 3) Wildest Dreams 4) This Love 5) You are in Love 6) Welcome to New York 7) Shake It Off 8) Blank Space 9) Bad Blood 10) Style 11) How You Get the Girl 12) Out of the Woods 13) New Romantics 14) I Know Places 15) All You Had to Do was Stay 16) I Wish You Would

Okay listening back. I now get the hype behind it. Listening to it with bonus tracks honestly makes all the difference. No joke. It's a much better album with the bonus tracks added. Honestly if Wonderland and You are in Love were on the main album it would've been top tier to me. Thank God for the deluxe version but team Taylor what is up with you hiding some of her best tracks and only releasing them on the bonus tracks? I'm mad. Also speaking on Wonderland, I adore the song even without the rumours of it being about my favorite celebrity Dianna Agron. Had the bonus tracks been on the main album it would higher but as a whole I love the album.

And now for our next album, which is reputation!

This is probably Taylor's most controversial albums, some love it and some hate it. I actually am somewhere in the middle. I love some of the tracks while others I could've done without. Let's see where it goes for me listening back.

Favorite Song: New Year's Day Least Favorite: Dancing with Our Hands Tied Album Ranking: 8th/9

1) New Year's Day 2) Gorgeous 3) Don’t Blame Me 4) This is Why We Can’t Have Nice Things 5) I Did Something Bad 6) Dress 7) Delicate 8) Call It What You Want To 9) ...Ready for It? 10) Look What You Made Me Do 11) King of my Heart 12) Getaway Car 13) So It Goes... 14) End Game (featuring Ed Sheeran and Future) 15) Dancing with Our Hands Tied

Okay I feel like my choices here are controversal especially Getaway Car being pretty low on the album. Honestly I liked the song just wasn't into the hype that everyone else said about it, sorry you guys. Also Dancing with Our Hands Tied on the ALBUM is my least favorie song. I absolutely adored Taylor's acoustic version that was in the rep Tour. Had she released that on the album it would be after Look What You Made Me Do. The arrangement on the album I just didn't care for and I prefer acoustic Taylor which I think a lot of you gather from my top picks.

Anyway moving onto to our next album that was randomized which is...Taylor Swift!

Ah yes the album that started it all. 15 years ago I discovered Taylor Swift via this album thanks to CMT. I was a huge country music stan back in the day who knew how this one album would lead to a career I've been following for 15 years. Now how does this album hold up? Let's find out!

Favorite Song: Should've Said No Least Favorite Song: A Perfectly Good Heart Bonus Tracks I Wish was on the main album: Invisible and I'm Only Me When I'm with You Favorite Bonus Track: Invisible Album Ranking: 3rd/9

1) Should’ve Said No 2) Invisible 3) Cold as You 4) Picture to Burn 5) Our Song 6) The Outside 7) A Place in This World 8) Teardrops on My Guitar 9) Stay Beautiful 10) Tim McGraw 11) I’m Only Me When I’m with You 12) Mary’s Song (Oh My My My) 13) Tied Together with a Smile 14) A Perfectly Good Heart

This album still holds up 15 years later and made me so nostalgic. This had to be the hardest album for songs to rank thus far. Taylor hit it out of the park on her very first album crazy. She set the bar very high, funny enough it's the first album that a bonus track is my least favorite track but the entire album is a great listen, especially if you love country. It's very different from anything else Taylor did but that's what's so charming about it.

And now onto our second to last album which is another one of my favorites and the only album Taylor wrote fully on her own, Speak Now.

The album cover is up there with Red as my favorite and I'm excited to listen back to this album. I remember how much I enjoyed it when it was first released. Excited to see what I think 11 years later. Let's find out.

Favorite Track: Haunted (Acoustic Version) Least Favorite Track: Last Kiss Bonus Tracks I Wish was on the main album: All of them. Dang it Taylor they deserved to be on the main album. Favorite Bonus Track: Haunted (Acoustic Version) Album Ranking: 2nd/9

1) Haunted (Acoustic Version) 2) Long Live 3) Haunted 4) Better Than Revenge 5) Back to December (Acoustic Version) 6) Mine 7) Back to December 8) Mean 9) If This Was a Movie 10) Innocent 11) Dear John 12) Speak Now 13) Ours 14) Never Grow Up 15) The Story of Us 16) Superman 17) Enchanted 18) Sparks Fly 19) Last Kiss

One of Taylor's absolute best albms and it was incredibly hard to rank these songs. I know people are going to be mad about Enchanted being low but I just didn't love it as much as the other tracks on the album, this after all is one of the best albums she ever released so it's incredibly hard to make the call.

Moving onto our final album which I've called my absolute favorite, Lover.

It's only been an year since its release but will it hold up as my favorite album? Let's find out!

Favorite Track: Miss Americana and the Heartbreak Prince Least Favorite Track: It’s Nice to Have a Friend Album Ranking: 1st/9

1) Miss Americana and the Heartbreak Prince 2) Paper Rings 3) Lover 4) Soon You’ll Get Better (featuring The Chicks) 5) You Need to Calm Down 6) The Archer 7) The Man 8) Daylight 9) Afterglow 10) I Think He Knows 11) False God 12) Death by a Thousand Cuts 13) Cruel Summer 14) Cornelia Street 15) I Forgot That You Existed 16) ME! (featuring Brendan Urie from Panic! at the Disco) 17) London Boy 18) It’s Nice to Have a Friend

Yep it held up. This album is my favorite thing Taylor ever released. It was a tough call because I loved all of her top albums so much. Miss Americana still is my favorite performance which is no surprise, I was obsessed when this song came out 2 years ago. It's Nice to Have a Friend is the weakest track on the album but by no means is it a bad track. The entire album is a great listen all the way through, the only song that's hard to listen to especially if you have a sick parent "Soon You'll Get Better" I literally bawled after I finished it. So if you don't want an emotional song that might make you sad, it's best to skip it even though it's one of favorite tracks.

And that does it for us here. Hope you enjoyed my album reviews! Just to recap here's the rankings of all of Taylor's Albums:

1) Lover 2) Speak Now 3) Taylor Swift 4) Fearless 5) 1989 6) Red 7) evermore 8) reputation 9) folklore

Excited to see what's to come with the rerelease of Fearless and to hear the songs released from the vault. I've heard a few of her unreleased songs and honestly there are quite a few that I'm hoping are released. Thanks for enjoying us on this journey as always be kind and always spread love <3

#taylor swift #fearless #taylor swift albums #taylor swift album #speak now #folklore #evermore #lover #taylor swift 1989 #1989 #taylor swift fearless #taylor swift speak now #taylor swift red #red #taylor swift lover #taylor swift folklore #taylor swift evermore #taylor nation #dianna agron #swiftgron #taylor swift bonus tracks #1989 bonus tracks #red bonus tracks #taylor swift 1989 bonus tracks #taylor swift red bonus tracks #rep tour #Taylor Swift rep tour #taylor swift debut #taylor swift debut album #debut album

[1989xtaylorsversion]

folklore is taylor swift's best album, and i stand by that. (my album review)

hello swifties, i'm back.

folklore is taylor swift's eighth studio album, and in my humble opinion, it's her best. this album holds such a special place in my heart because it's what propelled me into being a full-time swiftie. i apologize in advance for how repetitive i'm going to get because i will be proclaiming my love for every track.

now that the pleasantries are done, let's talk about folklore aka the winner for AOTY (thank you scammy's, at least they did one thing right)

1. the 1

this song is so easy to love. it's fun, light, catchy, and so soothing. the opening line just grabs your attention, so good job ms. swift. i don't have a lot to say about it, but i think it was a great choice to make this the first track. it's one of her best album openers.

2. cardigan

i looove cardigan. the beginning may turn you off, but it PICKS UP by the third verse. i love the lyrics, and i loooove the music video. it's one of her most beautiful music videos, there's no argument. the fact that she made it during a pandemic - her power. also, selling the cardigans as merchandise was one of the best decisions she's made, they're beautiful.

3. the last great american dynasty

ok guys, here's the truth - this song was a grower. i didn't connect with it for a little bit, and i didn't really gravitate towards it. i never hated it, but it's one of the songs (yes you read that right, we'll get there) that took a minute for me to really appreciate. i eventually saw the light though because on one magical day, something shifted and i realized that it's a great song that deserves its hype.

4. exile ft. bon iver

I LOVE THIS SONG SO MUCH! if "exile" isn't in your top 3, you need to reevaluate some things. in my opinion, it's the best collaboration taylor has done. it is raw, emotional, soul-crushing, and above all magical. it transcends you into another world. the bridge and everything after is pure serotonin. i loved it from the second i heard it, and it's never let me down.

5. my tears ricochet

again, I LOVE THIS SONG!! it's also in my top 3, and it never left its place. it is so beautifully haunting. the lyrics and imagery really stay with you. there are so many meanings, so apply it to your life anyway you want. i have never felt true betrayal but this song makes me feel like i have. this is one of her strongest fifth tracks. thank you taylor, your good deeds won't be forgotten.

6. mirrorball

i can't believe i'm admitting this, but "mirrorball" was another grower. when i first heard it, my immediate reaction was, "wow this would be a great song to include in a movie when the main characters are slow dancing at a school dance." i still think that. but, one day i heard it again, and it opened my eyes to the fact that this song is amazing. the bridge is definitely my favorite part, and i hope it's your's.

the meaning is so sad, because taylor has expressed her fear that people aren't going to want to listen to her past a certain point, and she's always had to reinvent herself. it's interesting how females in the music industry have to constantly reinvent themselves, but males don't... hmm...

that's another topic, but it should be said.

anyway, i just want taylor to know she can literally release absolutely anything, and we will still listen. i just want her to be authentic, be happy, and make music that fulfills her.

7. seven

this song was another grower, and i'll be honest, it's not the song i gravitate towards a lot. but, i still love it. it's sweet, innocent, and soothing. the second verse is my favorite.

8. august

AUGUST STANS ARE WE HERE??

where do i even begin?? the second i hear the opening lines, i'm at peace. it is perfect. "august" is just pure serotonin packaged into a song. the bridge is immaculate. i've yet to meet anyone who doesn't like this song, and if you do, don't talk to me :)

also, i love the love triangle storyline lol. it makes the songs so much more interesting. there's not much to say except, thank you, taylor.

9. this is me trying

this song is so nice to listen to, and it's so easy to love. the lyrics are thoughtful, and the instrumentals enhance it so well. i really overplayed it when the album first came out lol. it's short and sweet.

10. illicit tears

wow, it was so rude of taylor to drop this soul-crushing song without any warnings and expect me to be fine. i'm still waiting for the apology video btw.

in all seriousness, this song is a masterpiece. the lyrics are so vivid, she's unbelievable. the bridge is unreal, it just makes you wanna scream (pun intended). i love the second verse, it just picks up from there. even though the storyline is sad, it is a gorgeous song. also, she taught me like 2 new words from this song, so thank you for expanding my vocabulary, taylor.

11. invisible string

swifties, this song is adorable. the idea of an invisible string connecting you and your soulmate is beautiful, and i hope we can all experience this feeling one day. it is such a cute song, i really enjoy it.

12. mad woman

this song was also a grower, but rest assured, i love it. i love the meaning, and when she dropped the f-bomb, it sure grabbed my attention.

13. epiphany

"epiphany" is beautiful. i know some people feel it's too sad, but i love sad songs, so i'm not complaining. it's calming, and her voice and the instrumentals are beautiful. i really enjoy it.

14. betty

wow, betty is a masterpiece. the harmonicas, oh my gosh. she curses in this one too, and it's great. the last chorus is unbelievable, i can't believe she actually made this song. taylor really treated us well, i'm so grateful.

would you forgive james? i wonder what people think of the love triangle.

15. peace

"peace" is so cute, it just makes me happy. it took a minute for it to grow on me, but i'm glad it did.

16. hoax

"hoax" is another hauntingly beautiful song. i think it was a good song to close with, and her vocals sound great.

17. the lakes

i wish this song made the final tracklist, but i'm glad she released it regardless. it's SO beautiful, i love everything about it. i wouldn't change a single thing. i love the meaning behind it, her lyricism is incredible. she turns into a superhero when she picks up that pen.

overall thoughts:

i don't know what else to add, i think i said it all in the beginning. this album came at the perfect time, taylor always knows when i need her. i'm so grateful for her because she just released music this year and said "here you go, enjoy." i have such happy memories with this album, it's one of my all-time favorites. it's one of my comfort albums, and i'll never grow tired of it.

my rating: 10/10

the weakest song: lol, you thought.

the strongest songs: my tears ricochet, illicit affairs, exile, mirrorball, august, and cardigan. those are the ones i gravitate towards the most, but let's be real, they're all strong and amazing. this was a hard choice to make.

THANK YOU TAYLOR SWIFT.

also, i hope you all enjoy fearless (taylor's version). see you soon swifties, xoxo.

#taylor swift #folklore #swifties #fearless taylor’s version #album of the year #my album review

[yikesharringrove]

drummer!billy fucks steve after robin drags him to billy’s band’s concert at the gay bar and he swears he hates the band until he sees billy... please :)

I’m so hot for drummers I became one. That’s TRUE.

This is some modern lovin’.

Also I have a friend in a vegan eco-punk folk band and they fucking suck.

Pansy Division is a real queercore band they are AMAZING super recommend they have a song called Fem in a Black Leather Jacket that I can SO see Billy singing to femme!Steve to be teasing one day.

Queer Bar is the name of a REAL BAR my friends and I (used to, thanks Miss Corona) go to to watch drag performers and queer punk bands.

Ayoo3

Porn Porn.

Steve didn’t go to a lot of concerts.

He didn’t do great in sweaty crowds, and the loud music would leave his ears ringing for days. But Robin would still drag him out to see her friends’ shitty bands play at shitty dive bars.

“You have to come. It’ll be fun. They’re actually, like good.” Steve rolled his eyes.

“That’s what you said about the last two bands, Rob. And they fucking sucked.”She had dragged him to some house show for her friend in a vegan eco-punk folk band which is apparently a thing that exists in this world, and they sucked. It was like someone screaming about global warming over a Bon Iver song. It made Steve want to actively go out and litter.

“What’s the genre?”

“Queercore. You can listen to them! They have an album on Spotify that’s done pretty okay. They’re called Pansy Division.” Steve gave her a cold look as he pulled them up. He listen to their three most popular songs, That’s So Gay was a pissed off track about people using the word gay as a derogatory. Fem in a Black Leather Jacket was self explanatory, and Luv Luv Luv was a more chilled out song, but the lyrics were all about how love isn’t real and “we’re all just animals at the core”. Steve was sold.

“Where are they playing.” Robin grinned at him.

“Queer Bar.” Steve groaned. Queer Bar was small. A divey place that got hot and sticky. Steve didn’t like going as he always left covered in spilled drinks, and other people’s sweat, and had hooked up with three of the bartenders and just didn’t really wanna deal with all that.

“I don’t know, Robin. You know I don’t like Queer Bar.”

“You like it just fine. You’re just a slut. You do realize that if we could only go to bars where you haven’t fucked one of the employees, we would have like, five bars to choose from.”

“Don’t slut shame me. I am a young flower, who must dance on the wind and take a dip in every pond.” Robin stared at him.

“Steve that makes no fucking sense. Just admit you’re a sloppy whore and let’s move on.”

“Fine. I’m a sloppy whore. So when is this terrible night scheduled?”

“Tomorrow.”

“Robin!”

“Dingus!”

“You couldn’t’ve given me some notice?”

“You’re getting like, thirty hours of notice right now.” She rolled her eyes. Steve always told her one of these days they were gonna fall right outta her head.

“You are a nightmare and the bane of my existence and I’ve never hated anyone as much as I hate you.” Steve deadpanned. She leaned over on the couch to smack a wet kiss to his cheek.

“And you should probably bring condoms. These guys are just your type.”

-

“So, that’s what you’re wearing?” Steve just glared at her.

“If you’re dragging me to this thing, I at least want to be comfortable.” He was wearing short denim cutoffs, ones she had cutoff for him. They were high-waisted, and he tucked a baggy Jane’s Addiction t-shirt he had stolen from his ex-boyfriend into them. He had just done a little eye shadow and smoked liner.

Robin was in a black body-con dress, her old brown leather jacket over her shoulder, but her arms were not in the sleeves. It was very fashiony of her. Steve tugged on a red bomber jacket.

They would be meeting Robin;s girlfriend, Heather, at the bar. Apparently she was friends with someone in the band.

“Let’s go, Dingus.” Robin was holding The front door to Steve’s apartment, swinging it between both hands. He pinched her side as he walked past.

They had to take a Lyft to Queer Bar, another reason it was the worst. It wasn’t in walking distance. Their driver was this quiet guy who wouldn’t stop staring at Robin, even when she loudly started talking about her girlfriend. Steve only gave him four stars, a serious deal for Steve, who would probably give five stars even if the driver fucking murdered him.

Steve had met Heather quite a few times, and he liked her. She was cute, and easy to talk to, and made Robin so happy, but she also kept talking about Billy and how he was going to come out with them later, and kept winking at Robin.

They traipsed into the bar, Steve ducking to avoid one of the bartenders he had slept with. The guy had been real clingy after and asked Steve to get breakfast while Steve was trying to get dressed and get outta there.

So, they’re in the club, and it’s about time for the band, well, it’s twenty minutes after time for the band, and Steve is tired and is nursing a vodka cranberry and has been hit on more than he wanted tonight.

But then the band is taking the stage, and Steve is ready to lose his mind at this perfect specimen taking his place behind the drums.

He had tattoos on nearly every inch of skin Steve could see, his arms, his legs, his neck. He was putting his long hair into a ponytail, a few curls escaping and settling around his face. He was laughing at something the bassist was saying to him, twirling his stick in one hand.

“Heather’s friends with the drummer. His name is Billy.” Robin was giving him a knowing look.

The band was pretty good. Played a lot of loud songs. People were slam dancing around the front, far from where Steve was standing, watching the drummer. He really fucking whacked the drums, broke about three sticks during the hour set. He was all sweaty. Would play with a big grin on his face, blue eyes crinkled, tongue between his face.

By the time they finished their set, Steve was sporting a half-chub in his shorts, was rearing to get fucked by this gorgeous drummer.

“What did you think!” Heather was beaming at him.

“Yeah, they’re okay.” Robin rolled her eyes.

“So, we’re just waiting for Billy, then we can get outta here.” Steve’s heart stopped. He had fucking forgotten they would be hanging out with this perfect Billy.

He came up behind Heather, picking her up from behind, laughing loud and beautiful.

“Stop, Billy! You smell like shit!” He rubbed his head onto her neck, making her slap at him. He released her, turning those eyes on Steve. He put out a hand.

“Billy Hargrove.” He took both of Steve’s hands in his, made him blush.

“Steve Harrington. I’m a friend of Robin’s.” Billy ran his tongue along his teeth, looking Steve up and down.

They ended up going to a club and getting hammered. Steve danced pressed against Billy, ended up laying on the bar while Billy led a few random guys in taking body shots off of Steve.  He ended up making out with Billy in a dark corner, hands roaming until

“My place is close by. You wanna get outta here?” Steve shivered as Billy rasped in his ear.

“Yeah, let’s go.” They found Robin, who slapped Steve on the ass as he left, tucked under Billy’s arm. They walked a few blocks to Billy’s place, a little apartment over a Thai restaurant. It was cozy, had posters all over the walls, and lots of plants. He had a fat little cat he introduced as my chonker, Diablo.

They made out on the couch for a while, but then Diablo started yowling at Billy, so Billy hefted Steve up, and tossed him on the bed, refilling the cat’s water. Steve wrestled out of his clothes as he could hear Billy cooing to his cat in the kitchen.

“Holy shit you’re hot.” Billy shut the door behind him, staring at Steve, spread out and naked on his bed. “Heather said you were just my type.” Billy came to the bed, crawled over Steve, settling his wight over him. Steve reached up, tugging his hair out of the ponytail.

Billy ducked to kiss him, nudging his thighs open. He leaned to dig through the night table, brought out a bottle of lube and a condom.

Tattooed fingers nudged at his hole, rubbed lube around the rim. Steve started tugging at his shirt, making Billy laugh while he had to tangle it off of himself.

“Relax, Pretty Boy.” Steve whined as Billy went back to circling his hole, so he pressed in. He pressed up to the knuckle, curling his finger. He fucked it in and out of him slowly for a while, pumping his finger in and out.

He pressed another in, curling and spreading his fingers, stretching Steve out.

Steve took hold of his wrist, angling his hand.

“Curl you fingers.” Billy smirked at him, curling his fingers. Steve jolted as they shoved into his sensitive little nerves.

“You know just what you want, don’t you?” Billy was mouthing at his chest, sucked a dark mark on his left pec. “Not afraid to ask for it, either.”

He was drilling into Steve with his fingers, fucking him roughly with his hand, bending his fingers, opening them up. Steve was gasped, his legs opening even wider. He added another finger, pouring more lube over his hand, over Steve’s hole.

“I’m ready, just fuck me.” Steve’s eyes were wide, being sure to pout just the way he knew guys liked, voice all perfect and whiny.

“You’re bossy is what you are.” Billy added another finger, making Steve cry out at the stretch. “Think you can cum on just my fingers? I think I’d like that.” He bite gently at Steve’s nipple, making him arch into his chest, pushing his hips down onto Billy’s fingers.

“I want you cock. Please, just fuck me. Please, please.” Billy grinned, resting his chin on Steve’s chest, speeding his hand up, jack hammering it into Steve. “Holy fu-uck.” Steve came all over himself, choking around a few breathy moans.

“That was hot. You’re gorgeous.” Billy pulled his fingers out gently, letting Steve catch his breath while he took off his jeans, tossing them on the floor. Steve took extra notice of the lack of any underwear.

Billy was hard, his cock flushed red against his stomach. He rolled on a condom, settling himself between Steve’s legs, spread wide.

“You ready for me?” Billy was stroking Steve’s cock, smirking as Steve whined, oversensitive. Steve modded, wiggling his hips, whimpering for Billy to fuck him.

Billy pressed himself against Steve, holding his hips down as he gentled himself in, going slowly, inch by inch.

“You’re so tight Baby.” He was pressed flush to Steve, grinding his cock deeper, making Steve choke. He pulled out, immediately setting a brutal pace, sitting on his knees, one hand holding onto Steve’s upper thing, the other gripping his hip.

Steve was fisting the sheets under his head, clawing at them to try and hold on.

Billy was gorgeous above him, hair messy and wild, skin glistening, his muscles moving so beautifully under his tattooed skin.

Steve was hard again, trailed on hand down his body to wrap his fingers around his cock, jerking to the speed of Billy’s thrusts. He was getting close again, Billy was expertly hitting that sensitive little spot inside him, was panting and muttering about how hot Steve is, was making him whine and flush and fly closer to orgasm.

It hit him like a fucking train, making him cry out, adding to the mess on his stomach, tightening around Billy.

Billy gave one final grunt, slamming into Steve, emptying inside the condom. He caught his breath, staring down at Steve, running a finger through the spunk on his stomach, pressing it into Steve’s mouth, his eyes going dark as Steve moaned around his finger, eating his cum off it.

“You’re ridiculously fucking hot.” He huffed a laugh, pulling out of Steve to ditch the condom. “Now I actually owe Heather. That sucks.”

Steve laughed, slapping Billy’s chest.

#steve in super short jorts is my RELIGION #yikes writes #lemons #steve harrington #steve harrington x billy hargrove #billy hargrove x steve harrington #billy hargrove #harringrove #harringrove fic #harringrove ficlet #harringrove drabble

[desertislandcloud]

Ulrik Munther is the first to admit that self-doubt can get the better of him. But you might be daunted too if you were about to release the most honest and thought-provoking work of your career.

At just 27, Munther is already a seasoned artist with years of industry experience. Signed as a teenager to Universal Music in Sweden after winning the prestigious Melody Grand Prix Nordic competition with an original song, he also achieved viral fame with his endearing cover of Lady Gaga’s “Born This Way”. Three albums followed, all charting in the top five in Munther’s home country. “I grew up in the public eye… I was sort of a teen idol,” he says, wincing a little at the term. “I've been seeking an audience that digs a bit deeper into lyrics and has more of the same shared world view.” He adds, laughing: “I want to make new friends!”

Fans of Munther’s old music would have trouble recognising him now. His new album, Put Your Self Out There, is an astounding work that shows a young man grown wise from experience, but one who is still deeply curious about the world. Munther has a philosophical mind. He thrives on ideas, and on a willingness to challenge and be challenged on important subjects. This music shows him standing on the edge, ready to set sail on a new adventure.

“What I want to say most with this music is probably, be yourself and be honest,” he says from his home in Gothenburg. “To think about things a little more.” While he always knew he wanted to create music, his introduction to the industry at such a young age meant that he was, perhaps, steered in a direction that didn’t quite fit. “At that age you’re very impressionable,” he says, nodding. “It’s easier to trust someone older than to trust yourself.” Feeling somewhat jaded, he took a break from his flourishing pop career and began writing with renowned Swedish author and comedian Jonas Gardell. This marked the first step towards the most personal project of his career to date. “I want this album to lay a foundation I can build on,” he says.

Listeners will recognise the clear influence of Bon Iver in the quirky opener, “Apartment Girl”, on which Munther’s voice appears distorted, both youthful and brittle with experience. Album single “C’est La Vie” is an uplifting track that has the narrator pushing aside his fear of the unknown and embracing a newfound optimism: “I’m cleaning out my closet/ Some I’ll keep but some I’ll toss and/ That’s alright you know, gonna have to let things go/ Say goodbye, say hello.” It’s a feeling that Munther knows all too well. “I’m quite introverted, and I have a tendency to get stuck in my own head,” he says. “But if you overthink things too much, you’ll never do anything with your life.”

Put Your Self Out There has, ironically, a distinctly insular feel, providing the sense that Munther has created his own world in which to express himself. Despite this, the music itself is expansive, bringing to mind a landscape painting where, the closer you look, the more detail you discover. This was achieved with the help of a tightknit team that includes producer Johan Eckeborn (known especially for his work on Swedish artist Jonathan Johansson’s critically acclaimed record, En Hand I Himlen). They found themselves discussing philosophy and religion alongside music, and Munther took on new ideas that were fed into these songs. “We’re in a strange climate right now, where we tend to want to find people with the exact same values as us,” he says. “But if you judge others, you judge yourself. That’s something that’s really sunk in, in the last couple of years. I'm trying to be a lot more open-minded, and I think that's what I'm trying to inspire people to be as well.”

Munther’s ability to express himself transpires in his bruised but stoic music; the piercing, emotional tones of his voice are heightened by deftly constructed compositions. “Don’t Worry” opens on a soft flurry of piano notes falling like autumn leaves. You hear the sharp, steady clack of the percussion, a clock hand announcing the inevitable passing of time. An infinitesimal change in tempo marks a resolution to be swept up, as Munther delivers the title in a soaring falsetto then a comforting murmur until it becomes a mantra. “Gloom” is his letter to himself – a disarmingly candid one – in which he questions what’s left once the trappings of fame and fortune are removed. As the song reaches the close, his voice becomes muffled, yet the synths push through, like rays of sunlight breaking through the clouds. “I’ll meet you at the summit,” he promises. “When I’m out of this gloom.”

Throughout the album, Munther reminds us that we can be our own worst critics. Yet he takes his own advice and never obsesses over making this music “perfect” – as a consequence, he achieves something very close to it. The songs are beautiful precisely because of their flaws, recalling the experimental nature of Ben Howard’s most recent, and best, work. Sufjan Stevens fans will revel in the succinctness of Munther’s lyrics, the frankness of his declarations. “It’s not as complicated as I tend to make it,” he sings on the gospel-influenced “Man in Need”, “But I overthink everyf***ing thing.”

“I’m trying to be very honest,” he says. “Not in a dramatic way, but reflective. And I definitely didn’t want the music to sound too polished.” To avoid the risk of overwhelming his audience with such candour, Munther injects a wry tone into some of the songs, such as the self-aware closer, “Come Find Me”. Others are misnomers designed to surprise the listener, or even provoke them into a new way of thinking. The memorably titled “Big Dick” was the last song to be written during sessions at a studio based just outside of Stockholm. Munther found himself on a train observing a man and his girlfriend: “He was a really cocky guy, the crotch-first type, you know?” Rather than mock him, Munther chose instead to pen a tender acoustic number that seeks to understand what some might dismiss as toxic masculinity. “There are too many walls/ And I don’t have the tools or a number you can call,” he sings.

“This song came from the knowledge that there are so many people you can’t reach, you can’t get through to them,” Munther explains. “These people who feel they have to be smart, the ones who place value in material things. They’re often actually very insecure.” At the time, he recalled the saying, “Hurt people hurt people.” He still thinks about it. “People who need to show off, they must be so lonely,” he says. “Not able to be vulnerable, or be wrong.” Watching this man provoked feelings of frustration in Munther, not at the man himself, but at a society that, despite all its modern methods of communication, often fails to do precisely that. As a multilingual musician, Munther knows all too well the frustrations of feeling unable to translate his innermost feelings. Yet he refuses to preach: “I’m so aware that everything I know, I’ve learned from someone else.” The album title is a cliché for a reason, he says, smiling. “I just want to be courageous enough to have hope.” https://twitter.com/MuntherUIrik https://www.youtube.com/user/UlrikMuntherTV https://www.instagram.com/ulrikmunther

#SoundCloud #music #Ulrik Munther #Pop

[theotherackerman]

My Mind Turns Your Life Into Folklore

COPYRIGHT DISCLAIMER: Any recognizable elements belong to Attack on Titan.

NOTES: New Year’s Day January 1st, Friday

Trigger warning: mentions of self harm and suicide.

song credit:

exile- taylor swift featuring bon iver, Ymir is singing the first verse that bon iver sings

CHAPTER FOUR:  second, third, and hundredth chances

As she drove out the cemetery, she began to realize how strange this truly was. Eren used to be the one who drove everywhere. Mikasa wasn’t a big fan of driving due to the car accident she had been through as a child. It was a necessary evil in her mind. Yet here she was driving Eren home. Their roles had reversed in a sense.

“Do you not drive anymore?” She broke the awkward silence between them.

“Not really.”

“Can I ask why?”

“You can but I won’t tell you.”

Mikasa was glad the roads were empty as she slammed on the breaks. Eren jolted forward and then back again.

“Mikasa!”

“Stop it! Just stop! Stop acting like this. What could I have possibly done to make you act like this? What did I love you too much? Did I give you too much? Just tell me what I did!” Mikasa had broken. The sadness inside her had been replaced with nothing but pure rage. “You owe me that much, Eren.”

Eren sighed, “fine, just get out of the middle of the street.”

Mikasa began driving again.

Eren sighed again. “I don’t drive because I don’t have a license anymore.”

“Why don’t you have a license anymore?” She had a feeling, in the pit of her stomach, that she already knew.

“Because I crashed my car when I was drunk. Hit a building. No one was hurt besides me. Car was totaled. Building was set for demolition anyway so the people really didn’t care. Spent the night handcuffed to a hospital bed while Zeke worked everything else out with lawyers. Just ended up losing my license.”

“Is that why you couldn’t walk?”

“No, that was because of my liver.”

“Why didn't you tell me?”

“I didn’t think you’d care.”

Mikasa stopped at the red light and looked over at Eren. He was staring out the window, no emotion on his face.

The rest of the ride was spent in silence until they reached the old house. Mikasa knew this house as well as she knew her own home with Levi. She was shocked to see a for sale sign on the front lawn.

“You’re selling it?” She asked as she pulled into the driveway and parked.

“Yeah, I’m never here. I’m at Zeke’s place most of the time. I only moved back here temporarily to get the house in order to sell.”

Mikasa hadn’t expected that to hurt but it did for some reason. She had spent a lot of time here as a child. She could still see Carla in the kitchen watching over her, Armin, and Eren.

She understood it though. She had moved to the city with her friends, after all.

“Did you want to come in?” He asked after a few moments of awkward silence.

“Yeah, I’ll come in.”

“Okay,” Eren got out of the car first and she followed him, locking her car behind her.

Eren unlocked the door and held it open for Mikasa to come in.

“Thanks,” she told him as she walked in.

Stacks of boxes were all over the living room, that was the only thing that had changed. The walls were still covered in pictures, the bookshelves were still full. Mikasa began to wander the room but she didn’t dare look at the pictures. The couch was still in the middle of the room, tv mounted on the wall. Grisha’s leather chair and Carla’s rocking chair were still side by side.

She missed Carla. She could see her sitting there in her mind. Her welcoming smile. She missed the woman as much as Eren did. She rested her hand on the chair for a moment as if she was willing Carla to come back to life. She couldn’t help but wonder if Carla was here, would this still have happened?

“What did I do wrong?” She asked again as she turned around to face him.

Eren sighed, “nothing.”

“Well, there has to be something for you to say those horrible things! Eren…”

Eren sat down on the couch. “It’s better this way.”

“Why?”

He stood up and began to walk away.

“Why?” She knew she was pressing her luck but she didn’t care. She could feel the rage running through her veins like she had in the car.

“Because I’ll be a burden to you!” He yelled.

“You don’t get to make that choice!”

Eren stopped and silently turned towards her.

“Maybe I wanted to share your burdens!” She took a step closer to him. “That’s what friends do. I thought I was more than that. I thought I was family.”

“That’s all? Family?” he scoffed.

“Eren...I thought I was your future.”

Eren moved from across the room so quickly Mikasa wasn’t able to process what was going on until his lips were on hers. His hands were in her short hair, he wasn’t pulling away this time. She responded, moving her lips against his. Oh, how she had missed this. Her hands gripped onto his shirt pulling him closer to her. He walked her backwards so that her back was pressed against the wall. Just as she wrapped her legs around his waist, the front door opened.

“OH! I’ll come back later…”

With that, the door closed again.

Both of them began to blush as they untangled themselves from one another.

“Zeke?” Mikasa asked and Eren nodded.

“Zeke. Guess he got done with….whatever he was doing earlier.”

“He says you’re an asshole and a fucking idiot. His words, not mine,” Mikasa laughed a little.

“He’s not wrong,” Eren laughed before looking away from her.

“Talk to Armin. He needs you. Talk to me. Don’t...push us away...again.” She reached out and touched his face, making him look at her again.

“Mikasa, I’m fucked up, more than you know and once you know….” He placed his hand over hers on his face.

“What am I going to do? Run? I’m not a coward!” She removed her hand from his face and took a step back.

Eren sighed again, “you two are better off without me.”

“I told you, you don’t get to make that choice. Armin and I will. I leave on the 8th. I’ll talk to Armin, we’ll meet before then.”

“You’re not giving me a choice here, are you?” He asked as he walked back over to the couch and sat down.

“No, I’m not. You owe Armin and I the truth. All of it. You have the same number?” She pulled out her phone.

Eren nodded, “yeah. I didn’t change it. Do you still have it?”

“I couldn’t delete you. I tried but...I couldn’t.” She put her phone back into her pocket.

There was a knock on the door before it opened.

“Sorry to interrupt but I seemed to have locked the keys in the van,” Zeke announced as he walked in.

“I should be going anyway, Levi is probably wondering where I am.”

Eren just nodded.

“I’ll see you later, Eren,” she promised.

And with that, Mikasa walked to the door.

“OW! What was that for?!” She heard Eren yell as she began to close the door.

“You are a fucking idiot, that’s what.” Zeke replied.

Mikasa couldn’t help but smile to herself as she walked to her car.

----------------------------------------

“So I see you listened and talked to her. I can leave once we get the car unlocked and you can continue...wear protection..” Zeke said as went to the closet to grab a wire hanger. 

“I’m not going to have sex with Mikasa after you leave. It was just...the heat of the moment…” Eren said as his face went red and he rubbed the back of his neck.

 “And if I would not have walked it?” Zeke smirked.

“Please stop,” Eren pleaded as he walked out of the door.

“I just want to make sure my little brother is prepared,” Zeke called after him as he followed Eren out the door. 

“Stop. I hate you, you know that?” Eren said as he walked towards the van.

 “That is a lie and we both know it. I told you to talk to her and I was right.”

 “Please stop talking. When does Pieck get done today? Isn’t it time for you to annoy her yet?”

“No, unfortunately she is booked with engagement shoots today.”

“Just give me the damn hanger,” Eren sighed as he held his hand out. 

------------------------------------------------------

When Mikasa arrived at the Ackerman house, this time she was not greeted by two barking  puppies. As she took her shoes off at the front door, she noticed the dogs were nowhere to be seen.

“Levi and Hange left with the dogs,” she heard Ymir’s voice say.

“What are you doing here? I thought you went with Historia.”

“I did. Then Rod kicked me out. Historia had the limo drop me back off.”

Mikasa could hear the coffee maker running.

The amount of coffee that Ymir drank in a single day was ridiculous.

“Why?” Mikasa hung her jacket up on the coat hanger by the door. She then remembered she still had Eren’s in her bag, wherever Levi had put it. She made a mental note to find it and give it  back to him.

“Because he’s an ass. I don’t know. He wanted to talk to her and Freida about something. Apparently, I’m not family as he likes to remind me constantly. So I came back here. Levi and Hange were leaving just as I came in. I have no idea where they went. ” Ymir came from the kitchen holding a cup of coffee. “So you going to tell me why you have sex hair?” She asked as she raised an eyebrow.

“ I don’t have sex hair!” Mikasa protested.

“Okay, if you say so,” Ymir said as she lifted the coffee cup.

“....I ran into Eren at the graveyard.”

“So you had sex with your ex at the graveyard. I mean sounds weird to me but if that’s what you’re into, I’m not going to judge.”

“I didn’t have sex with Eren at the graveyard! I drove him home and we got into a fight. I told him he owed me an explanation for everything. So he invited me in.”

“So you had sex with your ex at his house? Boring but okay.”

“I didn’t have sex with Eren! We just...kissed...but more than last night.”

“You kissed Eren last night?!”

“Well he kissed me but it wasn’t long. Then he left but this time, Zeke came in.”

“So his brother cockblocked him. I’m starting to like this Zeke guy more and more.”

“Yes but no. We talked for a little bit more and then I told Eren he owed Armin and I an explanation. I was here until the 8th and I’d set him up. I didn’t give him a choice, actually.”

Ymir wrapped her arm around Mikasa’s shoulders tightly. “There’s the Mikasa I know and love! I mean, your angst is great for the album and you needed to heal so I didn’t say anything. But that’s...that’s the girl I met in high school. Take no shit Ackerman style!”

Mikasa could feel her cheeks turning red.

“So why were you at the graveyard?” Ymir removed her arm from Mikasa’s shoulders and sat down in Levi’s chair. She put her coffee cup down the coaster on the coffee table.

Mikasa wandered over to the couch and sat down.

“Visiting Mom and Dad and Carla. I visit them every New Year’s. Christmas….too many people. I like to talk to them.” She didn’t know why she felt embarrassed about it.

“That’s the look Armin gave you, that makes sense.”

“Yeah….”

“I haven’t gone and seen my mom since she died. Dad….longer than that.”

“Do you remember anything about them?”

“Not really.”

Ymir didn’t open up about her family very often. Mikasa never pushed for answers with her. She knew the basics. Ymir had been in foster care as a child, just like Annie had. Neither of them had any family step up to take care of them after their biological parents had passed. Annie was adopted by her first foster father while Ymir had moved around from place to place until she was sixteen. Then Ymir went through the emancipation process.

“Alright, let’s work on the new song you wrote,” Ymir said as she walked over into the sunroom.

Mikasa’s keyboard was still set up, music resting on it.

Mikasa pulled the piano bench from the grand piano over to the keyboard. She sat down, Ymir sat down next to her.

“Okay, so how is Historia going to hit this low note right here? The notes for the entire first verse are too low for her. Do you think she planned for this to be a duet?”

“I hope so because I wrote it as one. So the first verse is for you to sing. I wrote it from your perspective too. “

Ymir stared at Mikasa for a moment. “Wait, what? Do you not write all of these about Eren?”

“No, I write from my friend’s perspectives sometimes. You and Historia happened to be having problems so I wrote this as you and her. The first verse is you speaking to her.”

Mikasa began to play the introduction of the song.

“[lyrics redacted due to copyright],”  Ymir’s voice rang out through the house.

Mikasa enjoyed the fact that Ymir had a lower voice similar to hers.

“Is that about the farmer or Reiner?” Ymir asked.

“Both. So you sing this whole first verse.”

“[lyrics redacted due to copyright],”

“Yeah, is that okay?” Mikasa just realized maybe her friends weren’t okay with her writing about them.

“It’s fucking brilliant,” Ymir reassured her. “What’s next?”

“This is the chorus but I thought for the first one, you’d sing it alone.”

“[lyrics redacted due to copyright].”

“So then there’s vocalization which I thought Annie could do. Then Historia would do the next verse and chorus. Then there’s a….”

BANG!

BANG!

BANG!

Someone was pounding hard on the front door.

“Who the hell is that?” Ymir asked as she went towards the window to see who was out there. “It’s Historia but there’s no limo, no car. How the hell she’d get here?”

Ymir threw the door open to a sobbing Historia.

Mikasa left the sun room as soon as she heard Historia’s sobs.

“It’s gone. It’s all gone. My money. My car...the recording contract. I’m so sorry.”

#mmtylif #my writing

[cuteforathief]

2020 Year in Review

Rules: answer some questions about 2020 and tag some people!

Tagged by: @queenemori 💕 thank you lovely! 

Top Five Films you watched in 2020:

I am struggling to think of what was actually released this year and as much as I love them aren’t just netflix rom com originals.

1917

Wonder Woman 1984

Birds of Prey

Soul

Palm Springs

Top Five TV Shows in 2020:

I picked shows that were totally new to me in 2020 and that I really loved. 

Normal People

The Queen’s Gambit

The Umbrella Academy

The Wilds

Never Have I Ever

Not a new show but I have to also mention Agents of SHIELD because it’s been a huge part of my life and that is how you end a show after 7 seasons *cough* JRoth *cough*. I also started Bridgerton yesterday which I am a little obsessed with atm.

Top Five Songs/Albums of 2020:

What would I do without Spotify telling me what I actually listen to??

Blinding Lights by The Weeknd

Exile by Taylor Swift (ft Bon Iver)

Outnumbered by Dermot Kennedy

The Key to Life on Earth by Declan McKenna

About Love by Marina

Top Five Books of 2020:

In the year we had nothing but time... I embarrassingly only read 6 books last year. I can’t even look at my goodreads challenge butttt here are my 5 favourites of those.

Daisy Jones and The Six by Taylor Jenkins Reed

Clap When You Land by Elizabeth Acevedo

Circe by Madeline Miller

The Rest of the Story by Sarah Dessen

Dear Edward by Ann Naplolitano

Top Five Fanfictions of 2020:

I’ll stay on brand for this blog and stick to t100 or more accurately lets be honest Memori fics. Also there are sooo many more I could add to this list, so I just picked 5 of my favourites by 5 different authors - check out the rest of their works too because they’re all just as good! Also do not @ me about the amount of baby fics in this list!!

We Don’t Need To Say It 

Revive

Fall Into Your Blue

Our Hands Shall Be Your Cradle

The Secret To Life Is Timing

Five good/positive things that happened to you in 2020:

I started 2020 in Amsterdam with my friends. Looking back if I had known, I obviously would have appreciated my last trip out of the country more BUT it was great to start the year in such a positive way, even if the only way was down from there.

The fact that I have a job that has allowed me to keep working throughout the pandemic. Also I am so grateful that it is one that has allowed me to actually go into work (rather than work from home) and maintain that human interaction! I genuinely love a lot of the people I work with and when we’re allowed, we do tend to socialise, have regular work nights out etc so being able to see them on the daily, really lifted my mood at times when the rest of life has been so shit. 

Such a first world issue I know but I love to travel so much, so it’s been a huge bummer not being able to go abroad this last year. BUT it has made me explore England a lot more than I normally would. It’s such a beautiful  icountry that I do not take advantage of. The peak district is like 15/20 mins away from where I live so I’ve spent a lot of time there walking. I also went up to Northumberland where I enjoyed a lovely spa, some amazing beaches, went to the Harry Potter castle and other things I probably normally wouldn’t have done. 

My friends and family have all managed to stay healthy and safe! Probably one of the biggest positives in a year like this.

Saving the most applicable till last.... FANDOM! I am a huge ass nerd obviously and the past couple of years (once I got past my anxieties) have been filled with cons/meeting up with fandom friends. So whilst that side of things has been disappointing (though thank you London Comic Con Spring for letting me squish one in). The online side? 😙👌 Ahh what would I have done without it and you guys. It’s always so lovely getting to meet new people to talk/rant/squeal/roast with! So to the various people I’ve connected with, the GC’s I’m in, to anyone who has created or liked something I have created THANK YOU and ILY!  💕

Tagging/hoping 2021 brings all the best to: @unremarkablegirl @gellarsummers @the-most-beautiful-broom @murphystartedthefire @mobi-on-a-mission​ @doortotomorrow​ & anyone else who would like to do this!

#tag games #this is long and got out of hand i'm sorry

[cloveroctobers]

HENRIK LILJENQUIST—

IG info/Bio: @/adventuresbyhenrik | 53.1k followers — “imma wild boi🌿🌏🧗 | happily taken👩‍❤️‍💋‍👨

23 (24) years old

Parents are both Swedish and only speak Swedish, leaving henrik to also become fluent

His father Halvi is a pilot

His mother Lova is a race car driver

Siblings? Probably a brother, named Jahan & younger by two or three years + they get along quite well

Born & raised in Isle of Wight, England + loves it there & thinks it’s the best place for him to live, it’s his own private island in his mind plus he’s always finding something to do. He stays active

Climbing & wilderness survival instructor, he gets to talk as much as he wants while also teaching people AND all while being active! Sounds like the perfect job for him

Probably developed ADHD around his pre-teen age, leaving his parents to find him something he enjoys + can slow down and focus on

used to be on meds for it

Was well-known in high school, probably in the yearbook club since he was able to run around & get to know people but was kinda shit at knowing the functions of a camera

His selfie game has gotten a lot better now but he mostly posts anything but his face. You’ll see more of his face on his stories & location shots on his feed

Feels his hair is his best physical feature & his prized possession, would never THINK about cutting it. Even just a trim is a bit much for him

Always tries to be positive but at the same time can be condescending since he sometimes won’t pick his words wisely ex.) when he gave MC a backhanded “compliment” about makeup, being active, + wanting them to “think of others ” feelings — just because someone is opposite from you doesn’t mean you have to shit on the way they carry themselves...that’s my issue with him

maybe he’s a Taurus?

Loves fall & spring, more so fall since that’s when the weather feels nicest to him plus allergy season is a REAL bitch

The guy’s real Adventurous & always managing to find something to do. If you’re ever bored just hit him up, he has plenty of recommendations 

Family owns a cottage & he’s the one who goes out there more than his own family does! “You should just sell it to me at this point!” He tells his parents over dinner often & it is strongly considered

Has five birds & a husky, when he goes on road trips they’re always with him. Which can get a little hectic at times but they’re his family, he’s a, “birdog dad”

BLAKE secretly dislikes them all, feeling like they take up space sometimes (especially when she wants to cuddle) but she deals with it since she cares for the guy — yes, they’re still dating

She’s been convincing him to cut a few inches off of his hair which he took like a slap in the face, “that’s like me asking you to quit speaking up for humans!” “No, no it’s not.”

They’re polar opposites with flaws which causes disagreements between the two of them by putting each other in their places but they learn to compromise? (*insert eartha Kitt gif laughing here*] if they want this to work

His mother seems to be the only one who dislikes blake (she strongly feels he should have bought MC back home...that’s right she watched the show from time to time. Not always since she doesn’t care for reality tv but her friends encouraged her to watch bits and pieces) while his dad and brother approve

It is tense when Blake and his mom are in the same room which makes Henrik sad since he believes Blake deserves a chance. He took a chance on her and it seems to be going pretty well so why couldn’t his mother just be happy for him like the rest of the family is?

Henrik loves his low-maintenance girls who are open to trying new things with him, Blake is usually down most of the time but she likes her personal space too..which henrik struggles to understand

He wants her to live with him, he’s sure his parents will let him have the cottage if Blake decides to live with him but Blake loves her freedom in Kingston

It’s hidden but I feel like he might be one of those guys that feels like “a woman should follow a man” since that’s what his father installed into his boys— which failed because his wife isn’t just a housewife, she has goals and went after them

I feel like Blake turns to social media almost always to post about her feelings (I can’t remember what I picked the first time around as my occupation but as I’m currently playing I picked human rights campaigner so) but it’s mostly subtle shade & it always goes recognized by fans which brings drama between her, mc x Bobby

Henrik jumps in because what kind of guy would he be if he didn’t have his gf’s back? Doesn’t care for the drama but he & Bobby usually said slick shit to each other in the villa, it’s safe to say they’re not really friends but they’re not enemies either that’s mostly between their gf/wife

Henrik doesn’t care enough about Bobby to dislike him but he won’t put up with his shit any longer and what easier way to do that than online? He feels like they can settle this with a phone call but Blake & MC aren’t with the shits and don’t want their men speaking to each other

Henrik & Bobby eventually have a chat in secret anyways

Henrik warns Blake that this can effect her job status if she doesn’t calm down since she uses social media for her cause

She usually knows when to stop but can’t help it if it slips out sometimes

They talk it out and move on usually with whatever fun idea henrik may have

Owns a ford bronco from the 90’s that used to be his uncle’s who builds tree houses for a living and is still running, a jeep gladitor, or some sort of pickup truck

Knows how to make the best apricot jam

All about saving the bees

Loves animals, probably on his journey to veganism if he’s not already there

We all know this fucking guy likes eating M0sS

“Embarrassing fact” but uh big fan of twilight, feels like Seth Clearwater and him are meant to be best buds but he also stans the Volturi 😷

Him and Lucas of course remained the best of mates, since they live 2 hrs away from each other and are always busy living their lives they always have to plan out when they can hangout but that fails 60% of the time when henrik pops up at Lucas’ job or at his flat not giving him a choice but to hang out

They’re always vacationing together too? Sure Henrik is his own version of low-key while Lucas likes a bit of luxury...they still find a balance to just have a good time regardless if they live different lifestyles...they’re basically married

Always texting if they’re not hanging out, henrik with his memes that Lucas doesn’t understand & Lucas just checking in on henrik’s well being which leads the conversation to many topics

He’s actually cool with Gary now? They like/comment on each other’s posts & even text here and there

Even ran into Rocco once on a road trip, that was interesting but when life gives you lemons...we’ll just say that

Even him and Ibrahim share recommendations through text or DM’s which is nice! Henrik is always down for friends even tho they’re not like his personal friends (except for Lucas, he fits into his criteria)

Most of his work is physical and talking but he goes the extra mile by hiking every Sunday either with his friends, Blake, or family — he’s genuinely likes being one with nature

If he’s at the cottage, he’s always outside, chopping extra wood, making sure the yard looks like it belongs on a magazine, or takes the boat out on lake to nap since he doesn’t like to fish as much anymore

Currently trying to grow strawberries but some animal keeps eating them :/

Adores adventure time, the x-files, bobs burgers + animal planet, and travel channels—like he’s a real dad

If he could shower outside everyday, he would, it’s such a freeing experience to him

His outings consist of being in the woods 24/7 so in his mind when he brings Blake out there with him, it’s a version of a date, whenever they spend time together is a date to him, which she has to remind him that she wants to do something different like getting dressed up every now and then + go out to dinner which he HATES but he’ll do his best to please her, as long as the restaurant is more earthy than snobby he’s okay

100% would survive the apocalypse, he knows how to make due with what he’s got, he’s always been that way

Enjoys rom-com’s so he’ll laugh at how cringe they are but still enjoy it, indie films, ALITA was the best film of 2019 to him & currently his fav film is, “the call of the wild” with Harrison Ford

His favorite films ever are Indiana Jones, Lara Coft: Tomb raider, Terminator, and I am legend

Aliens ARE real, they’re out there and he’ll be part of the reason they’ve been exposed

I feel like he wanted to be an astronaut growing up but then realized he’d be a confined space for long periods of time and said cancel that shit lol + he isn’t the greatest at science. History? He did real well in that subject

I think he loves Lorde, listens to Bon Iver—especially on early morning commutes to work, Rex Orange County, Omar Apollo, Joji, the nbhd, the driver era, kid cudi...yktfv

Celeb crushes?/types: The main girls from Charlie’s angels 2019, Alexa PenaVega... “you know Carmen from spy kids?” Diana silvers, Dove Cameron, JAMIE CHUNG, & VANESSA HUDGENS

Anthem = Wallows, “OK”

#litg #litg2 #litg s2 #litg henrik #litg au #litg headcanon #litg headcanons #litg Blake #litg Lucas #litg bobby #litg mc #edited cause I wasn’t aware the mans was actually Swedish oops

[xseildnasterces]

evermore.

I’ve just finished my Finnish homework ready for tomorrows class. I’m not sure if tomorrow is my last class of the semester or whether I have another before Christmas. Regardless, I will be signing up for the next semester as I have really enjoyed my weekly Finnish lessons and feel that I have learnt so much. It’s certainly a hard language, but it’s something I enjoy and something that I feel has personal value to me so I intend to continue for as long as I can.

After the longest day ever yesterday, I really should have gone to bed earlier, but I didn’t. I slept relatively well but woke up a few times and finally dragged myself out of bed at about half 11. I had intended to get stamps for my Christmas cards today but the post office near me was closed so that didn’t happen. I did sit down and finish writing them, so they are ready to go out first thing on Monday morning which is good!

H finished working on S’s final gift for her retirement, so she picked me up and we went to deliver it to her at her house. She wasn’t in and we hadn’t intended on going in anyway (because… covid), but we told her husband it was there, and it was nice to drive out to Maryland as I had never actually been into Maryland yet. I can now tick three states and the district off my list, well not really, of course I would like to explore places in Maryland, but I’ve at least put my foot on the soil so to speak. F was in a little bit of a stroppy mood, but I gave her, her Christmas card and she was super happy about that and wouldn’t let it go, so that was cute.

I had planned to do so much today. I wanted to start packing, do the last of my laundry and get the whole apartment cleaned so that I didn’t need to worry about it over the next few days before heading home. However, none of that happened as I was waiting for H to pick me up and it was after 4pm when I got home. I then felt beyond exhausted and had a two-hour nap. I’m glad I did, or I would not be functioning right now. I woke up to my phone ringing and it was S calling to thank me and H for her gift. It was nice to have a little chat with her and she hopes tat the three of us can meet up once we are all vaccinated and the world is in a better place.

Speaking of covid, I have the news on in the background and some guy (unsure of his title/job) has said he doesn’t believe we will be attending festivals or gigs for about 3-5 years!! What? I cannot cope with another year of no live music. Download being cancelled this year was horrible. I hated it and I missed it so much. I have been going every single year since 2008, regardless of what country I was living in at the time, and although a lot of people don’t understand why I have such a love for it, it’s just somewhere I really feel I can be myself, get rid of my worries and avoid thinking about anything else and just be so free. It’s been over a year since I saw any band live and considering how big a part of my life live music has always been it’s just been a bit rubbish. I have tickets for a FFAF gig next year. I think it’s in April and I really hope the world is in a better place and I can go, yet I am doubtful that I will have been vaccinated by then and perhaps it will be cancelled anyway. Download is June, so perhaps there is a little more possibility of that going ahead, yet at the same time, maybe not considering the logistics of a festival, the lack of ability to be completely clean and as with most gigs of music I listen to there isn’t seating or any way to be socially distanced. So, who knows what will happen next year?

I’m also missing travel in such a big way. Whenever we can properly travel again, I am intending on going crazy. I want to explore the US considering I’m here, and I also want to use the opportunity to visit friends in Helsinki and Joensuu (Finland), Frankfurt (Germany) and Geneva (Switzerland). I also want to take another trip to Australia and explore more of the country and generally just do some more real travelling. It’s been sooo long and my feet are itchy as hell. As soon as borders are fully open, and things are safe to do so you can be sure I will be booking a holiday. A nice, relaxing vacation somewhere with lots of sun, somewhere to go swimming and a new culture to explore. I need it.

Despite being super excited about Christmas and looking forward to it regardless of how different it will be, I am going to miss the going out part of it. I’m going to miss going to people’s houses, going out for dinner and being able to get dressed up in fancy, nice clothes and take lots of photos. It’s just going to be different this year. I think I’m going to still try and make an effort to dress up and put make-up on for Christmas day at least. I have a lovely new dress that I would really like to have the opportunity to wear, so what better time than Christmas?

I hope with everything I have that 2021 sees life going back to some form of normal and that we can begin doing all the things we love and miss again. We only get one life and I already feel that we’ve lost too much this year already.  (Plus, there will be so much more to lose when we crash out of the EU at the end of the year). The utter disaster that it is.

[Blog title: evermore - Taylor Swift (ft. Bon Iver).

#evermore #taylor swift #bon iver #life #thoughts #feelings #emotions #covid #update #me #personal #diary #journal #write #writing #journalling

[darling-archeron]

evermore ranking

I think I finally listened to evermore enough that I can definitively rank songs!

1) tis the damn season: Love that this is vaguely a christmas song but not actually. This is the perfect combo of heartbreaking and an absolute vibe and I am constantly listening to it on repeat.

fav lyric: the heart i know i’m breaking is my own/to leave the warmest bed i’ve ever known/so we can call it even/even though i’m leaving

2) tolerate it: This is such a heartbreaking song, and I can relate to feeling like the other person in a relationship doesn't care like you do.

Fav lyric: I made you my temple, my mural, my sky, now I'm begging for footnotes in the story of your life.

3) champagne problems: The bridge absolutely destroys me! This is literally All Too Well tier heartbreak. This was definitely a favorite when I first listened to the album.

fav lyric: the whole fucking bridge is there another answer

4) evermore: a lot of people don’t seem to like this nearly as much as exile which surprises me. Overall I think I prefer the music of exile but the lyrics of evermore. This is the only song on the album I’ve cried to so far soooo there’s that.

fav lyric: i rewind the tape but all it does is pause/on the very moment all was lost

5) marjorie: this was my initial favorite and I’m still in love with it. This is such a sweet tribute to her grandmother and to anyone who is wishing they had more time.

fav lyric: watched as you signed your name marjorie, cause every scrap of you would be taken from me.

6) gold rush: I really didn’t like this one at first but it’s grown on me so much!  love how it feels like the whole song feels like 30 seconds long, just like getting lost in thought.

fav lyric: what would it be like to grow up that beautiful? with your hair falling into place like dominos?

7) no body no crime: This belongs in the same group as Goodbye Earl and Two Black Cadillacs. An absolute banger. I do wish that when TS collabs with female artists she would give them more than backing vocals though? I love the contrast between her and Bon Iver for example, but I think there would be a great blend with her and Haim if they were featured more heavily.

fav lyric: este wasn’t there, tuesday night at olive garden at her job or anywhere

8) closure: Not an initial fav but it’s grown on me so much! I’m not the biggest fan of the synthesized drums at the beginning but I love the lyrics. This feels like the “it’s nice to have a friend” of evermore.

fav lyric: i know i’m just a wrinkle in your life, staying friends would iron it out so nice.

9) ivy: This song gives me the gayest vibes off the whole album tbh. I love the visuals of ivy covering you like someone’s love.

fav lyric: my house of stone, your ivy grows, and now i’m covered in you

10) happiness: Such strong little women vibes with this one.

fav lyric: no one teaches you what to do when a good man hurts you and you know you hurt him too

11) willow: Will taylor’s lyricism even in her major singles ever cease to amaze?

fav lyric: every bait and switch was a work of art

12) coney island: I really like how her voice blends with the nationals, my favorite part is def the bridge

fav lyric: did i paint your bluest skies the darkest gray/a universe away/ and when I got into the accident the sight that flashed before me was your face

13) long story short: 1989 vibes! such a fun bop, but overall the more heartbreaking ballads top this one for me.

fav lyric: clung to the nearest lips/long story short it was the wrong guy

14) dorothea : This is a cute song and i love how it ties into the lore in so many different ways but overall it’s not my favorite. I love the idea of wondering if someone you think about every day even remembers you. However, so many of the other songs on evermore are even more powerful.

Fav lyric: you’re a queen, selling dreams, selling makeup and magazines/from you I’d buy anything

15) cowboy like me: I get vaguely tim mcgraw vibes from some of the guitar parts in here! It's grown on me a lot but at the end of the day it's just not a favorite. Some of the lyrics and metaphors just feel a bit clunky and slow down the album.The only skip for me.

Fav lyric: And all the old men that I've swindled really did believe I was the one

#taylor swift #evermore #evermore ranking #ts #willow #kate talks #mine #kate procrastinates so so much

[velveteencurtains]

folklore first impressions!

the 1 �� don’t hate me for this but. HAYLOR RIGHTS. anyway so so fucking CUTE i’m gonna cry. “the greatest loves are over now” WAHHH IM GONNA CRY

cardigan — taylor if i ever meet you i’m getting you to write “stars around my scars” for a tattoo. watched the music video before i listened to the full album and i’m so glad i did. cinematic masterpiece. this song is so fucking good you guys holy shit. just the sentiment of the lyric “when I felt like I was an old cardigan under someone’s bed, you put me on and said I was your favorite”. anyway YOU DREW STARS AROUND MY SCARS BUT NOW I’M BLEEDING. guys. TYE PETER PAN REFERENCE IM. WHEN YOU ARE YOUNG THEY ASSUME YOU KNOW NOTHINNG GNGNGNNG.

the last great american dynasty — WHO IS REBEKAH. these lyrics are so good holy shit. DID SHE JUST USE GAUCHE IN THIS SONG????? the layered harmonies on the chorus oh my god. “THERE GOES THE MADDEST WOMAN THIS TOWN HAS EVER SEEN” okay i havent listened to mad woman yet but if this is a parallel i’ll die. DID SHE JUST SAY BITCH??? i’m putting “she had a marvelous time ruining everything” on my gravestone. taylor please give us a music video. please. please. STOP HER VOCALS ON “I HAD A MARVELOUS TIME RUINING EVERYTHING”

exile — okay confession time i’ve never heard a bon iver song before and i thought he was a woman so his voice actually scared me. “you’re not my homeland anymore, so what am i defending now?” REAL SHIT???????? wait wait WAIT “I hit the Sunday matinée/You know the greatest films of all time were never made” and “I think I’ve seen this film before” IS THAT A PARALLEL???? the duet section “you never gave a warning sign (I gave so many signs” Taylor I’m crying and it’s your fault. NOT “we always walked a very thin line” THE PARALLEL TO HAUNTED I’M CRYINGG

my tears ricochet — okay I already posted about how this is gonna kill me the title the fact it’s track 5 the fact it’s self written i’m ready. HER VOCALS AT THE BEGINNING. “IF I’M ON FIRE YOU’LL BE MADE OF ASHES TOO” REAL FUCKING SHIT TAYLOR???????? “IF I’M DEAD TO YOU WHY ARE YOU AT THE WAKE” IM CONVULSING MY HEART IS LITERALLY RACING ARE YOU SHITTING ME “YOU KNOW I DIDNT WANT TO HAVE TO HAUNT YOU, BUT WHAT A GHOSTLY SCENE” the way i’m literally losing my mind right now. this is the best song i’ve ever heard. real shit. real fucking shit. “and I can go anywhere I want, just not home” IM FUCKING FERAL TAYLOR. THE VOCALS IN THE BRIDGEEEEEEE. this is her best track 5 I dont care. “Written by: Taylor Swift” THE POWER THAT HOLDS

mirrorball — when i first saw this name i thought of the fushigi not gonna lie. NOT THE ECHOEY VOCALS PLEASE. “i can change everything about me just to fit in” oh wow. oh wow oh wow oh wow oh wow oh wow. i’m crying right now. someone much more eloquent than i will write a thinkpiece about this and put it excellently but the notion of never showing your true self ‪and constantly changing to fit in and being a reflection of what other people want you to be....no i’m not okay‬

seven — oh shit we get right into this whatttttt okay. the vocals, I’ve already said i’m dead like 100 times in this but who cares i’m DEAD. no one is gonna get this but this song reminds me of spring awakening the musical. like seriously this is ilse singing to moritz. if you don’t know what that means go listen to the musical and then you will. the outro is so gorgeous oh my god

august — am i stupid or does this song remind me of danny and sandy from grease. like this is from sandy’s perspective. ignore me i will make connections to musical theatre even if it isn’t there. SO MUCH FOR SUMMER LOVE BABEYYYYY. HER VOCALS ON “YOU WERENT MINE TO LOSE” ARE YOU JOKING???? for the hope of it all. this is fifteen’s older sister don’t @ me. STOP WHEN IT GETS QUIET AND THEN THE MUSIC COMES BACK YOU KNOW WHAT I’M TALKING ABOUT MY EYES JUST BULGED OUT OF MY HEAD. yeah okay I’ll talk a lot about her lyricism in this but this song really made me wanna appreciate the instrumentals?? holy shit they’re so good. insanely good. what the hell taylor. oh my god

this is me trying — once again a round of applause to the instrumentals this intro is sick!! this feels like the last time’s optimistic sister. i hate it when people say that but like...it’s true. “so i got wasted, like all my potential” oh my GODDDDDDD. the vocals on “at least i’m trying” exCUSE ME?? okay going back to the grease thing this is danny’s perspective. period. jack antonoff and taylor swift is a duo that will go down in history.

illicit affairs — i have no words. no words. my favorite song on the album. holy shit. holy SHIT

invisible string — what’s so interesting about these songs is that they’re so intricate and complex and tell their own little stories that i barely wanna do this bc i don’t wanna focus on anything else than listening to the lyrics and making little music videos in my head. taylor has always been amazing at storytelling but this is next level. “a string that pulled me out of the wrong arms into that dive bar” with “dive bar on the east side where you at?” And “one single thread of gold tied me to you” with “deep blue, but you painted me golden”. wow. WOW. her little vocalizations at the end. i love her. so much

mad woman — THE SONG I WAS MOST EXCITED ABOUT WHEN I SAW THE TRACKLIST. DID SHE JUST SAW FUCK TAYLOR JUST SAID FUCK. taylor please give us a music video set in witch trial salem PLEASEEEE I HAVE ONE (1) REQUEST. “it’s obvious that wanting me dead has really brought you two together” IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII my heart is pounding so hard right now. what a TUNE WHAT A TUNE TAYLOR SWIFT DID THAT

epiphany — she sounds like an angel. yes i’m crying. is it stupid to say this makes me think of like a medic on the frontlines dealing with the traumas of war? probably. this is so gorgeous. the drums at the end that feel like a heartbeat. wow. wow. wow.

betty — TAYLOR SAID FUCK AGAIN i need to stop she’s a grown woman i can’t freak out when she curses. taylor make a music video for this but make the love interests two girls pls. nevermind just heard the james lyric. the key change?????? yeah i showed up at your party!!!!! will you kiss me on the porch in front of all your stupid friends?? STANDING IN YOUR CARDIGAN. william bowery whoever you may be (👀👀👀) thank you for this and god bless taylor swift

peace — so simple. so beautiful. yes i’m still crying. i love this song so much. wowowow

hoax — yeah the latter half of the album is just pure tears for me. “don’t want no other shade of blue but you?” Jesus Christ. Oh my god. “you knew the hero died, so what’s the movie for?” wow. wow. thank you Taylor. i love you so much

overall: yeah judging by the tears down my face it’s pretty aight. kidding this is a full blown masterpiece. literally album of the year. decade. millenium. my only critique is that there isn’t music videos for every song. everything is so intricate and poetic yet the entire album is so sonically cohesive and fluid i’m literally in awe. illicit affairs left me SPEECHLESS. holy fuck. i need a minute.

#taylor swift #folklore #folklore era #taylurking #my post

[hopelessly-shipper]

An Open Heart Fanfic

(Ethan x MC)

A/N: Sorry, this one is very long. I really tried to break it into at least two chapters, but…

Suggestion: You can read this chapter while listening to: Shrike, by Hozier; The Wolves, by Bon Iver; Poison and Wine, by The Civil Wars.

Part Six

Ethan Ramsey used to have some trouble with indifference and possessiveness in his romantic relationships. He used to be one of two things:

a) laid back, giving the person space and freedom to do whatever she wanted, which sometimes seemed like he was being indifferent. Occasionally, he was actually trying to be. But

b) he could also be protective, which some would consider as possessive or even jealous, but he refused to admit to that – what, he was just taking care of her!

Throughout the last year, he had tried to be indifferent to Casey Valentine. He averted his eyes every time he realized he was staring and convinced himself he was just watching, he put a lot of effort into trying not to think about her when he was at alone home, and so on. But some nights he would wake up from a dream about her, her kiss, her smell, her hair, his hands touching her like he longed to… He felt his heart clench in his chest watching her go home with Bryce Lahela countless times, laughing at his silly jokes. He clenched his jaw every time he saw her make dreamy eyes at Superman Aveiro.

At some point, from his steamy dreams to his racing heart when she smiled so sweetly, from the happiness he felt when she was with him to the discomfort he felt when he saw her with other men (who he knew wanted to flirt with her), from all the little things he observed and liked so much in her to all the things she made him feel… he knew he was falling in love for her. Hard.

But he also felt those things he didn’t like to feel. The protectiveness, the jealousy…

“How was the movie night with the scalpel jockey?”, he asked Casey as soon as she entered his office and sat down in front of him, on the opposite side of the desk.

“The movie night with my friends was just fine”, she answered readily.

“Hm”, he muttered.

“Did you just page me to ask that?”

“Of course not. Here, some paperwork about your interns.”, he answered with furrowed brows, handing ger the papers.

“Oh, okay”

“Dismissed”, he said coldly before she left.

…

Hours later, Casey was in the cafeteria eating some cookies when she felt hands on her waist. She turned and got a little bit disappointed when she saw Bryce.

“Hey!”

“Hey”

“I wanted to see you”, he said, his bright smile making her want to smile too.

“Why?”

“What about we grab some drinks after our shift?”

She was so tired she thought about saying no, but she also thought this would be a good thing to be seen going out with Bryce, that would dodge any possible commentaries about her and Ramsey.

“Yeah. Let’s go”

“Great”, the smile grew on his face and he leaned in quickly to kiss her cheek.

…

Ethan drank his scotch quietly as he watched people coming in and out Donahue’s. Some were already drunk, talking loudly, laughing more, and some were just like him, alone with a drink, or busy with their phones.

The door opened again and he regretted the moment he had the idea to go to that bar to relax, because that was probably not going to happen after he saw Bryce Lahela and Casey Valentine arrive together, smiling and talking. Bryce had his hand on Casey’s back, as he lead her further into the bar. They sat at a table far from where he was, her back was turned to him, but he could still see Lahela’s flirty smile, never leaving his face, even after five minutes of talk.

Don’t his cheeks hurt?, Ethan thought, downing his drink.

And he did that two more times in the next ten minutes before he decided to go there and greet them. As he got closer, he noticed Bryce had took Casey’s hand, touching it playfully, probably making some sort of stupid joke as an excuse to touch her.

So. Funny.

Casey laughed, as Bryce told her about his child’s play. Then Bryce looked up, the playful smile leaving his lips. She turned to see…

“Dr. Ramsey! I didn’t know you were here”, she said, as her heart began to race.

“Yeah. I saw you two coming in, I thought you might want some company.”, he said, his voice husky and a stern look on his face.

She smirked. He was probably being sarcastic. The Ethan she knew would hardly do that kind of thing. She looked back at Bryce, waiting for him to say something, invite the other doctor to sit, but he just looked unamused.

“So. What are you two talking about?”, Ethan asked, as he sat by her side.

“Bryce was just telling me about his child’s play…”

To her surprise, when Bryce finally spoke, he said:

“What about you, doctor Ramsey? What did you use to do as a kid? What games…”

“Sorry. I’m not going to talk about it.”, Ethan answered, she saw some hidden emotion she couldn’t understand in his eyes.

“Oh. My bad. Sorry”, Bryce sighed “I’ll go grab more drinks”.

As soon as he was out of earshot, Casey took advantage of it to ask:

“Okay, Ethan. What are you doing?”

“Huh?”, he looked at her, confused.

“What do you think you’re doing?”, she hissed.

“Talking to you?”

“Stop it, Ethan.”

He sighed, opening his mouth to answer, but was interrupted by Ines and Zaid.

“Hi, Casey, doctor Ramsey!”, Ines greeted them, happily.

“Hi”, Zaid said.

“Come sit with us”, Ethan invited.

Casey widened her eyes at him.

“Oh, cool! Everybody together”, Ines said.

“Weren’t you on a date?”, Zaid asked expressionless.

Ethan choked on his drink.

“Of course not”

Casey laughed, playing along.

“Can you imagine…”

“Oh, I totally could!”, Ines answered, sincerely.

Ethan and Casey put down their drinks to stare at her. Ines blushed.

“Oh… you know… I think maybe it would be good to doctor Ramsey if he met someone like you…”

“Good how?” Ethan gulped. He knew, it was good.

“Um… Casey’s patient and so kind, I think someone like her could…”

“What are we talking about now?”, Bryce arrived with a tray of drinks.

And they never heard the end of Ines thoughts.

…

Almost two hours later, they had talked more than they had drunk, which was good, Casey thought. Bryce had had to pick another chair for him, which he placed by her side. Almost every time she looked at Ethan he was watching Bryce’s moves. Bryce, on the other hand, was careless, oblivious. He took her hand, played with it, throw his arm on the of her chair, basically hugging her, his face sometimes closer to share a thought, a joke.

If Ines and Zaid felt the tension, they didn’t show. Maybe it was a good thing Ethan was grumpy, because now nobody thought he was acting out of character.

She yawned, not able to hide her tiredness anymore.

“Guys. I’m leaving, I feel soooo tired…”

“I’ll go with you”, Bryce offered.

“No, I can take her home”, Ethan offered.

“Oh, are we carpooling, then?” Bryce asked, his wide smile on his face.

Was he really that oblivious? Was he actually teasing Ethan Ramsey?

“No”, Ethan answered sharply.

“You can come with us if you want, Lahela”, Zaid said. Maybe some few drinks had loosened him up a little.

“It’s fine, guys, I’ll go with doctor Ramsey”, Bryce said, throwing one of his arms over Ethan’s shoulders.

Ethan shrugged him off, seething. Casey looked at him pointedly, wishing he understood her message: let him.

He locked eyes with her, searching for her support in saying no to Bryce, but found her eyes pleading. He knew she was right, they shouldn’t leave alone together, especially after Ines and Zaid’s comments moments ago.

“Sure”, he conceded at last

…

“Where do you live, Lahela?”, Ethan asked, wanting to get rid of the other doctor as soon as possible.

“Oh, I’ll stay with Casey”, Bryce answered. Casey looked at him, but he couldn’t see her, since he had sat on the passenger’s seat. But she saw the look on Ethan’s face through the mirror, though. It was not good.

Silence fell and everyone was quiet until they arrived at her building.

“Thanks for the ride, doctor Ramsey”, she said, as she left the car.

“Thanks” Bryce said.

Ethan didn’t answer. When they left the car, he raced home. She watched him drive away suddenly aware that he had drunk.

“He shouldn’t be driving…”, she surprised herself as she spoke her thoughts. She knew she looked worried and Bryce would notice.

“Is anything going on between you and Ramsey?”, he didn’t waste a breath before asking.

“He’s an attending”, she answered automatically, still watching the cars, long after Ethan’s was out of sight.

“Well I know that.”, Bryce pointed out. She looked at him impatiently.

“What’s that supposed to mean?”

“Nothing, Casey. I’m just asking. He showed up at the bar all of a sudden and don’t think I didn’t notice how possessive of you he seemed to be.”

“Bryce, I’m sorry, I didn’t see it that way”

“Well, maybe because you don’t want to see it that way”, she noticed he was growing impatient now.

“Bryce…”

His questions had changed the mood and they felt the heaviness of it in the silence between.

Bryce sighed, running a hand through his hair.

“I’m sorry. I just wanted to go out with you and it got messed up.”

“I’m sorry too.”

“Are you?”

…

Ethan was concentrated on his laptop when he heard a soft knock on the door. He just looked up, waiting. The door opened slowly.

“Excuse me, doctor Ramsey. Can I come in?”

Casey Valentine.

“Yes”

She walked quietly to the chair opposite to his, but he noticed the tension on her shoulders.

“We need to talk”

“Any problems with the interns?”

She knew he would try to talk about something else. She almost smiled at being right, but quickly composed herself to answer.

“No. It’s about us”

“Rookie, this is not the time…” he started to say.

“I know”, she interrupted “Can we talk about it over dinner? This weekend?”

She was hopeful he would say yes, but she had not expected the surprised and disappointed (?) look on his face.

“No, not this weekend”, he shook his head, averting his eyes.

“Is everything okay?” she asked worriedly, making him think about other possibilities for them to go out secretly any other day that week.

Instead of telling her that, he told her why he couldn’t go out in the weekend.

“It’s fine. I – today Harper invited me over to dinner on Sunday and I said yes.”

She raised her eyebrows, taken aback.

“Oh”, she managed to say, feeling her cheeks blush. At that moment she was torn between shame and frustration. Casey had seen Harper leaving his office sooner, when she went to talk to him. As soon as Casey saw her, she decided to talk to him later, so Harper wouldn’t see her. Sha had been curious, but she settled thinking it was probably a work thing. Was it?

“Are you… working together?”

By the look on Ethan’s face, she knew the answer before he said it.

“No”

Of course not.

“So it’s okay for you to have dinner with your ex-girlfriend, but I can’t go out with Bryce without you messing around?”, she asked, her voice low.

He saw the hurt on her face and wanted to take it all back.

“I was n-“

“You were so jealous you couldn’t even disguise it!”, she said, frustrated.

He knew she was the one being jealous now. He knew he would be too, if he were in her shoes. He just couldn’t say no to Harper for the same reason Casey had pleaded with her eyes the night before, trying to make him see reason and understand that a “no” at that moment would raise suspicions. She didn’t know Harper the way he did. He wanted to tell Casey that it would definitely not be a romantic date, since he didn’t feel any romantic feelings towards Harper anymore.

“Casey…”

“No, Ethan. It’s been a year of avoiding it. I can’t take it anymore. We have to talk about it, we have to talk about us and decide how to deal with this.” Her voice faltered, and it made him feel worse, hurt too. She looked away.

Silence. She was right. He wanted to make things clear too, tell her that he wanted her, that he wanted to be hers too, but…

She got up, turning to leave. He watched her as she stopped by the door with her hand on the knob.

She felt ashamed that she was almost crying because of him in front of him. It didn’t help that he seemed hurt too. But she felt broken. Was he really going on a date with Harper? After everything..?

“Oh. And since you’re allowed to be busy having dinner with your ex, don’t be surprised to know I’m busy with somebody else.” she said out of spite.

“Casey, what the…”

She didn’t wait for him to finish. She just shut the door and left him there, suddenly alone.

#fanfic #ethan ramsey #ethan x mc #ethan jonah ramsey #ethan ramsey fanfiction #open heart fanfiction #open heart #open heart fanfic #playchoices #choices #choices fanfiction #choices stories you play

[hellolittleogre]

Quarantine Q&A

Tagged by @lazaefair!

Are you staying home from work/school?

Oh yeah, my work closed Thursday 12th and I’ve been working from home ever since. Which is actually funny since technically what I do can’t be done from home, so yeah I have a lot of administrative things and maybe a paper to write and lets hope I don’t run out of work before this is over. Yesterday I was completely spaced out and just sat and stared and were like No you are at WORK, you cant just sit and stare...

If you’re staying home, who’s there with you?

My partner, who’s growing increasingly paranoid. And a little cat that comes and visits in our garden.

Are you a homebody?

Yes lol, the first week of quarantine there was no notable difference to my life except that I didnt have to take the bus to work in the mornings. Working full time makes me very tired so I dont get up to much outside of home in the weeks and we are relatively recently moved in and dont know that many people yet. 

An event that you were looking forward to that got cancelled?

I was going to see Bon Iver in May, which has been rescheduled to January 2021 (which is actually real funny because this is the second time I’ve got tickets to Bon Iver or Justin Vernon events in ridiculously good time in advance and the event has cancelled on me, clearly the next time I have to buy the tickets from a bootlegger five minutes before the show just to fool the universe). I was also planning a trip with my sister to New York which doesn’t look like it will happen now.

What movies have you watched recently? What shows are you watching?

Jupiter Ascending because The Guardian recommended it as escapism. I’ve also watched Wicker Man (the 70s one, not the Oh god the bees- one). 

I also watch films when I exercise which tends to be of the runny jumpy smashy kind because I find cycling really fast sympathetic to that.

What music are you listening to?

My partner always Lyric FM on which plays classical music and I listen a lot to Nathaniel Rateliff and the Night Sweats, Tom Waits, Anais Mitchell, First Aid Kit. I also listen to a lot of audio books while working since it helps me focus. I do a lot of data entry at the moment so its nice to have it on. So far I’ve listened to Ethan Frome, The Last Wish (The witcher books), The Exorcist and Rosemary’s Baby. I usually pick whatever is free on youtube. I like the modern classic horror streak I have though.

What are you reading?

A lot of audio books as mentioned. But I’m physically reading Wilding by Isabella Tree, nonfiction about the rewilding of a nature reserve in Sussex, its super interesting and  a really optimistic read. It also makes me want to wild my garden and get like a natural grazer in (like a goose?) and see what happens.

 Fanfiction. You guys don’t understand. So.Much.Fanfiction

What are you doing for self-care?

I put on proper clothes every day and also make sure I go for a walk once a day outside, we are lucky enough to have a garden so I can still do that even if public parks shut down. 

I also try to do yoga before bed and do my skincare because my pores clog up super easy and that makes me feel so absolutely grotty.

And I only watch the news once a day. And call my mum.

Tagging @poemsingreenink @aces-to-apples

#quarantine #about me #most boring human alive

[slowpocalypsecooking]

the top 8 tracks on folklore from least to most embarrassing to enjoy

Hi I’m Anthony Fantano and welcome to the needle drop. I don’t know if he says that, because I don’t watch him—if I wanted to listen to a repulsive white man talk about music, I could just go on a date. (just kidding, covid!)

Forgoing any further introduction, here are the top eight tracks from Taylor Swift’s new album, low-caps “folklore,” ranked from least embarrassing to most embarrassing to enjoy, according to me. The whole album is 16 tracks long, but I’m only doing the most noteworthy half because 16 is too many. You’re welcome for that decision.

Methodology: To get on this list, songs had to be both embarrassing and enjoyable. There will be natural fluctuation between tracks, but as we go down the list, assume that the songs are getting increasingly better to listen to and worse to think about, like this:

The rankings:

8. cardigan

This is a song about feeling at times like an unloved trash bag, as we all do, and then being warmly reminded that you matter because you are in fact someone’s fallback. The hook goes:

and when i felt like i was an old cardigan under someone’s bed you put me on and said i was your favorite.

Beyond reveling in this pathetic status, this song serves as an admission that the speaker a. uses the word “cardigan” and b. thinks of those bland, preppy sweaters as a comforting thing to wear. In a cooler universe, this song would be called “flannel.” It is just okay to listen to.

7. mad woman

This song has big Ophelia vibes, big Handmaid’s Tale vibes, big “daughter of the witches you couldn’t burn” vibes. One of the verses contains the line “and women like hunting witches too,” because, hey, woman-on-woman misogyny is bad, didn’t you know. Strong reminder that if being called crazy is the worst form of oppression you’ve experienced, you still have it pretty good. Sometimes sounds decent, sometimes too croony.

6. invisible string

This one uses a pretty lazy, commonplace device: She opens couplets within verses by just naming colors, and uses these to create a simple repetitive structure for introducing random, useless details:

green was the color of the grass where i used to read at centennial park i used to think i would meet somebody there teal was the color of your shirt when you were sixteen at the yogurt shop you used to work at to make a little money

Sure this device is tired, but that’s only the surface of what’s embarrassing here. More embarrassing is the image I’ve conjured of a teal-shirted teenage boy smiling through his braces behind the toppings station at one of those blindingly lit American-kawaii froyo stores. I don’t know who needs to hear this but don’t fuck the froyo boy. Song is pretty catchy.

5. illicit affairs

Title says it all here: This song is about how thrilling and fun and ultimately horrible it is to be involved in a romantic situation you’re not supposed to be in, and how that forbidden sheen can get you totally enthralled with a crappy garbage man. Not a whole lot going on below the surface. This song is both very enjoyable and very embarrassing because it is very relatable.

4. seven

We are back to the aggressive levels of white woman previously seen in “mad woman,” only the case has gotten much more severe. Here’s this song’s final chorus:

Sweet tea in the summer Cross my heart, won’t tell no other And though I can't recall your face I still got love for you Pack your dolls and a sweater We'll move to India forever Passed down like folk songs Our love lasts so long

Okay let’s just skate past the part where a presumed adult is telling a fellow adult (I sure hope!) to bring their dolls when they run away together. That in itself is too big a can of worms to crack open. What I want to talk about is the line “We’ll move to India forever,” which pretty obviously uses an Orientalist fantasy of India as some nebulous, ethereal image of the East. Real people don’t live there; it’s the exotic dreamland where sweet-tea drinking southern belles bring their adult toys when they elope. This song is very catchy.

3. betty

Let me start by saying that now that we’re in the top three, all of the remaining songs are vying for the #1 slot. I could very easily see this and the next as the  Most Embarrassing to Enjoy. But “betty” is clocking in at number three today.

This is a song about a teenage romance gone bad, in which a speaker named James (who is “only seventeen, I don’t know anything”) has cheated on a girlfriend (Betty) and is now considering showing up at her party, begging for forgiveness, and hoping for a kiss in the garden. We get the backstory in the bridge:

I was walking home on broken cobblestones Just thinking of you when she pulled up like A figment of my worst intentions She said "James, get in, let's drive" Those days turned into nights Slept next to her, but I dreamt of you all summer long

First of all, “figment” of “intentions” is not really a phrase? But secondly, and more importantly: Excited bloggers all over the internet have posted a smattering of theories detailing why this song is Taylor Swift’s coded revelation that she actually maybe fucks girls, too, y’know, and hey, maybe the object of this song is the supermodel Karlie Kloss, whose middle name is Elizabeth. Apparently Taylor Swift is named after James Taylor, so she could be James, or at the very least James could be a woman. I’m going to allow for the possibility that the speaker “James” is a woman, because why not; it does not change the narrative. But said narrative doesn’t make sense: who is this woman pulling up next to James and picking them up on the cobblestone? Did James really spend all summer with her, and if so, why? James is only seventeen by the time they get back to ask Betty’s forgiveness, so like, where the hell are James’s parents? Do they not care that their child has gone off for the whole summer with a person I can only picture as a cheetah-print-and-goggles-wearing divorcee driving a convertible?

Furthermore, the Karlie Kloss/Taylor Swift fan theories are gross for the simple reason that these two tall skinny white women look pretty much exactly the same. What is it with the internet’s obsession with wanting practically identical people to hook up? There might be an incest thing going on there that you guys could stand to reflect on. And on the more cynical conspiracy-theorizing side, couldn’t this just be some convenient queerbaiting? Didn’t Taylor Swift get criticized for appropriating gay rhetoric and imagery for “You Need to Calm Down,” like, 20 minutes ago? If she were going to come out, wouldn’t it have been an ideal moment to do so when she was under fire for that? I’m not saying all celebrities are shallow opportunists, but, you know, maybe.

This song is infectious. You will need to lobotomize me to get it out of my head.

2. exile

I know I originally said this was gonna be number one but I lied. It is pretty rough, though. This track features Bon Iver, and it’s not the high-pitched sad boy of “Skinny Love” renown. This Bon Iver is deep-voiced and country, like Bon Iver playing Tim McGraw in an uncomfortable SNL parody. Also, the whole song is centered around the tired and overused metaphor that a person is a place, and the person the speaker is pining after is home, and the speaker is in exile because they can’t go home to the person they love. It’s a heartache-ballad, cry-sing in your car, absolute jam.

1. the last great american dynasty

I really tried not to let this be number one. I really didn’t want it to be, which is precisely why it is. This was the track that first alerted me to the entire album’s release, because Ed Markey supporters on Twitter seized on it and decided it was about the downfall of the Kennedy family. It is not. The opening verse goes:

Rebekah rode up on the afternoon train, it was sunny Her saltbox house on the coast took her mind off St. Louis Bill was the heir to the Standard Oil name and money And the town said, "How did a middle-class divorcée do it?" The wedding was charming, if a little gauche There's only so far new money goes They picked out a home and called it "Holiday House"

This is very obviously about a real couple, Rebekah and William (Bill) Hale Harkness, who had a real mansion in Rhode Island that they called “Holiday House.” The Harkness name is on basically every building in Connecticut and a lot of the Northeast because Stephen Harkness, Bill Hale Harkness’s great uncle, was a founder of Standard Oil along with John D. Rockefeller. In 2013, Taylor Swift bought the property known as “Holiday House,” as she says in the song:

Fifty years is a long time Holiday House sat quietly on that beach Free of women with madness, their men and bad habits And then it was bought by me

The cool, fun, left-ish internet reading of this song is that it’s a revolutionary tale about toppling class hierarchy—getting a hold of wealth and bringing the institution that created it to its knees by… “fill[ing] the pool with champagne”? How much would that amount of champagne even cost? This is not a song about revolution. Taylor Swift didn’t storm into the Standard Oil house and burn it down or take it over; she bought it. It is not a song about destabilizing the ruling class. It’s a song about joining it.

It absolutely fucking slaps, unfortunately.

#taylor swift #folklore #i am putting this in the tumblr tags in lowkey hopes that a rabid taylor swift fan will see and come after me #come on that would be funny

[makeyourownmyth]

best heard in 2019.

As usual, same caveats apply as for other categories, and as in past years, but less so with music, because it’s the only thing that I’m still decently up with. That being said, there are some oldies here, and I reserve that right. 

Songs

Honorable Mentions: Lil Nas X - “Old Town Road,” Pop Smoke - “Welcome to the Party,” and Drake (ft. Rick Ross) “Money in the Grave.” 

They were both huge, and I listened to them plenty, I just don’t happen to think they’re very GOOD.

Anti: I try not to shit on any music that’s put out too much, but the second (?) single from Taylor Swift’s album (which is overall quite good!) “Me!” is terrible.

6. Taylor Swift - “Lover” - I love a lot of this album, but this song can get me feeling terribly emotional.

5. Yola - “Ride Out In the Country” - I forget where I even found this song, but it’s such a jam, such a vibe. 

4. Rocket Summer - “Shatter Us” - A band that I got from a middle school kid almost a decade ago comes back with a “mature” album that had some decent cuts, but none that hit as hard as this. It’s true, and powerful, and something that I never would have appreciated at the time when I loved the band way more than I do now. 

3. Grimes - “We Appreciate Power” - She’s crazy, but this is her at her best. 

2. Local Natives - “When Am I Gonna Lose You” - Loved the album, loved this song the most. Put it on a mix. 

1. Tyler and ASAP Rocky - “Potato Salad” - My favorite song of the year, and also, I think, the best song of the year. These guys are 2 of the best right now, and this found them just having fun. We could use more rap like this. 

Albums

Anti: Again, not trying to talk shit on albums that people loved, taste is subjective, yadda yadda yadda, but these were not for me. Thom Yorke’s Anima, Slowthai’s Nothing Great About Britain, Weyes Blood Titanic Rising, and Bon Iver’s i, i. Nothing more to say about them for me, they just weren’t to my taste. I don’t wanna talk about anything Ye-related.

Honorable Mentions

Helado Negro - This Is How You Smile - This is an incredibly fun time. It’s not on your list and I think it’s right up your alley. 

Cautious Clay - Blood Type - The type of album I’d like to listen to more and more. The type of album I think you’ll really like. A weird mish-mash of styles that we never would have thought worked when we were young, but that tends to dominate my lists nowadays. (Steve Lacy-esque?)

Local Natives - Violet Street - Like I said above, I quite like the album, but I didn’t find myself going back to it. 

Harry Styles - Fine Line - Just came out, has one of my favorite songs of the year on it, but I’m not ready to commit to it yet. 

Freddie Gibbs and Madlib - Bandana - Not as good as their last album, but very good example of older person rap done very well. 

J. Robbins - Unbecoming - More people need to listen to this album. It’s awesome, and small, and deserves more pub. 

Solange - When I Get Home - Almost made the cut to the real list, but that’s just due to peer pressure. I liked it a lot, but I didn’t find myself thinking about it incessantly like some of the albums that I place above it. 

Steve Lacy - Apollo XXI - Really, really, really good. I wish more music like this existed and that it was more popular. It feels exceptionally well crafted, like someone who really knows what they’re doing took a lot of time, and did it well. That being said, very little of it STANDS OUT. 

Marvin Gaye - You’re The Man - I actually think this is where my best of list starts, but I feel like I’d be too much of a poser if I put this on there. I listened to this non-stop and I feel like it’s a really good album that not enough people knew even came out, much less listened to. The backstory of it surely plays into that for me, too, but it stands on its own. 

The National - I Am Easy to Find - Genuinely one of my favorite albums of the year from one of my bands of the decade. I’m aghast that it’s not in my top ten, but I had to limit it to ten to make it some sort of real exercise, otherwise it would have just been a random number, which I’ve definitely done in the past, but hate to do when it’s MORE than ten. Less is fine, but more feels like a cheat. I love this album, though. 

Best of the Year

10. Taylor Swift - Lover - Half of it feels like a pure repudiation of Kanye, but half of it is me knowing that I put 1989 on a list in genuine taste, and knowing that this album is full of pop goodness. It’s fun. There are some significant missteps, like “London Boy” and the “Me!” single that sounds even MORE out of place on the album, but overall, it’s really a sign that she knows what she’s doing. 

9. Danny Brown - U Know What I’m Sayin? - He’s done with his childish stuff, he’s making incredible music, and he’s still one of our greatest rappers. Danny Brown feels like the coolest secret that I somehow know a small bit about, but then I’ll see some mainstream pub on him, too, and I’m like, oh, dope, this guy is SUPER well known, like he should be.  

8. Lana Del Rey - Norman Fucking Rockwell! It’s a solid album. I’m shocked at the number of people who are saying it’s the album of the year, but I’ll honestly say, too, that somewhere around the 3 minute mark on “Venice Beach,” when I was first listening, it gets so fucking good that my jaw literally dropped and I was like, oh, I guess LDR is a real musician now. And from that point on, the album continued in a way that pleased and surprised me. 

7. Clairo - Immunity - This was another one that I thought was AOTY material, but stuff just edged it out, so when I said I thought this was a weak year musically, I guess I was wrong. If I’d had a physical copy of this album, I would have WORN IT OUT. It’s probably my most-listened to album of the year, and I love it the way I loved Alex Lahey’s last album, which means I’ll be slavishly following Clairo for years and years now. No regrets. I think she’s got a HELL of a career ahead of her. Just hearing the first chords of “Alewife” gets me hella choked up. 

6. Jenny Lewis - On the Line - I really think if you kick back with this album you’ll find so much to love. The single was really really bad, but it’s the opposite of Taylor Swift: when it arrives on the album, the sequencing honestly makes it seem as though it fits quite well. 

5. Alex Lahey - The Best of Luck Club - This is my token placement, but also a genuine love letter to how huge I think she’s going to be.  (Or maybe how huge I think she should be, but never will be?) I mean, the songs are heartfelt, and it’s that’s so much of what I want nowadays that I had to put her in the Top 5. 

4. Tyler the Creator - Igor - I actually thought this was my AOTY, so making this list it surprised me how far down it fell, but I think that’s a testament to the others as opposed to a knock on this one? I mean, it’s clearly the best album Tyler’s ever made, and the production on it is even better than could have been expected. The fact that he’s changed so much, but is still operating in the wheelhouse that he created for himself (while it’s still evolving!) is proof of the early genius we saw. 

3. Jamila Woods - Legacy! Legacy! This is a killer album. I think it’s the best one, that you’re most likely to enjoy, that you’re least likely to have listened to. 

2. DJ Shadow - Our Pathetic Age - I disagree with all the critics who call it overlong and a slog to get through the first half to get to the better second half. I think the second half is clearly superior, but I quite like the instrumental side.

1. Billie Eilish - When We All Fall Asleep, Where Do We Go? I knew it’d be my favorite when it dropped and that hasn’t changed as the year has progressed. It’s a weird, weird, weird album, especially when I listen to her old stuff and try to reconcile who she is with who she was and who she will be. But I’m cool with that. I mean, shit, she’s 17 and she’s making great art. Keep it coming! 

#billie eilish #dj shadow #eoy #best of #lists #music #2019 #jamila woods #tyler the creator #alex lahey #the best of luck club #igor #legacy #our pathetic age #when we all fall asleep where do we go