#i desperately hate the way i drew sirius in this one so i just cut him out anyway- | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

bush-viper-cutie · 3 years

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“Explaining It All” || YEAR 3 – Ch.36 (HP au)

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Day posted: 12/22/2020

Word count: 3, 517

Relationship: EVENTUAL severus X oc (slow burn)

Rating: E for everyone

Warnings: none

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A/N: This is my first fan fic I’m writing mainly as a way to practice. This is a retelling of the hp books with an inserted character. Although most every character will be written about, this is mostly for the pro snape fandom. Please do not fear, although this is a severus x oc story, it is an incredibly slow burn as I do not intend for them to get together at all until after the final book events. Chapters will be posted twice a week.

This derivative work follows the events of the Harry Potter books by Jk Rowling and is intended as a fun way to practice my writing. Thank you for reading :D

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The shack groaned and creaked, filling the heavy silence until Lupin, who looked incredibly calm for someone who was just outed as a creature even the Ministry considered highly dangerous, chuckled awkwardly. As if Heather had simply told an embarrassing story of him.

He looked at Hermione and Heather with a small smile. “I was always worried about the two of you, though I suspected you’ve known for some time… I am a werewolf… I won’t deny that. But I have not been helping Sirius get into the castle and none of us want Harry, or you, Heather, dead – I promise you that.”

Ron, who’d dragged himself to the farthest post of the bed, pulled himself up, almost feinting from the throbbing pain of his leg. He winced but did not take his eyes off Lupin.

Lupin’s eyebrows drew with concern as he took a step closer to them, mistaking the silence for calm.

“Get away from us, werewolf!” Ron shouted, instinctually reaching for his wand, which was still in Lupin’s hand. “Give them back.”

“Not yet.” He took his step back and turned to Hermione and Heather with visible effort. “How did you find out?”

“Snape’s essay,” Heather mumbled.

Lupin made a sound between a scoff and a chuckles and shook his head. “Does he know? He’ll be delighted, no doubt. He assigned it thinking everyone would realize… What gave it away?”

“Mostly you being ill around full moons,” Hermione said, holding her head high.

Lupin forced a laugh. “You’re both quite clever.”

“You’re not going to win back our trust by talking to us if that’s what you think.” Heather had set her attention back at Black, who was still intently looking at Ron over Lupin’s shoulder. There was concern in his eyes, though Heather couldn’t tell if he was worried about Ron’s injury or about the fact his uneaten meal could still hop away from him.

“We should have told everyone what you are.” Hermione shook her head. “If we were cleverer we’d have done that.”

“The staff know… though some did not agree with Dumbledore’s choices… Some apposed it more than others…”

Ron gasped. “Dumbledore knew you were a werewolf? And he still hired you?”

Lupin forced a smile again. “Not without a lot of convincing. It took a while for him to prove to most everyone I was trustworthy – ”

“But you’re not.” Harry pointed at their wands still locked in Lupin’s grip. “Give them back if you want to prove to us we can trust you… Unless you’re lying. Unless you really are working with that murderer!”

Black shut his eyes and shook his head. When he opened them again he crossed over to the four-poster – making them jump away – and sunk into the mattress sending a cloud of dust into the air. He dropped his head on his hands. Poor Ron was stuck close to him, holding the farthest post to stay upright.

Lupin stared at the wands and threw them back, even his own. “You can trust me, Harry. I have not been working with Sirius – so if I can just explain… If you will listen.”

Heather reached for the wands, handing each one back, throwing Ron his own who immediately pointed it at Sirius Black, and gripped Lupin’s tight.

“Look, I was in my office when I glanced over at the Marauder’s Map – ”

“You know how it works?” Harry narrowed his eyes.

Lupin gave a genuine laugh. “Of course. I helped write it.”

Their mouths fell open.

Lupin continued, “I was examining the map – ”

“You’re Moony.” Heather mumbled, remembering the names from the map. Moony had called Snape’s nose ‘abnormally large’.

“It was my friend’s nickname for me back in school.” Lupin waved his hand impatiently. “I was keeping an eye on you four, knowing you’d be down with Hagrid before his hippogriff’s execution. I look away for a moment, and when I returned, thinking you’d have the good sense to leave before Dumbledore and the Minister had reached you… You were standing there… with someone else – someone I couldn’t explain.”

Heather frowned. What on earth was he talking about? When they were standing – before they were running trying to chase after Ron – no one was with them. “We were alone.”

“We weren’t with anyone,” Harry confirmed.

“You were.” Lupin glanced over at Ron. “I couldn’t believe my eyes. There wasn’t any reason in the world he’d be with you. How could he be?”

“No one was with us!” Hermione pointed at Black. “Not until HE – ”

“No,” Lupin cut her off. “I saw when a small dot labeled ‘Sirius Black’ ran towards you. I watched as he pulled two of you into the Whomping Willow – ”

“He only dragged ONE of us in!” Ron said angrily, jabbing at his chest with his thumb. “Me!”

“No.” Lupin looked at Ron firmly, holding his gaze. “Two of you.”

There was more silence. Heather gripped both wands in her hand, feeling calmer about listening to Lupin descend into madness so long as he remained unarmed.

“Might I have a look at your rat?” Lupin said as evenly as a parent asking to see a very expensive crystal figure in the hands of their toddler. He held out his hand patiently.

“What’s Scabbers got to do with all this?” Ron pressed his hands to his robe pocket immediately.

“Everything – Could I see him, please?” Lupin repeated kindly.

Ron dug in his pocket and revealed his thrashing raging rat. Scabbers was trying so desperately to get away that Ron had to hold him out by his tail. “What’s a rat got to do with anything?”

“That’s not a rat.” Lupin whispered, watching it thrash around.

Ron forced a laugh. “Then what – ”

“He’s an animagus.” Black stood finally. “By the name of Peter Pettigrew,” he spit out the name like poison.

Ron turned to him wide-eyed. “You’re both mental. Harry they’re mental!”

Harry was shaking his head. “Peter’s dead. You killed Peter Pettigrew twelve years ago!”

Black’s eyes twitched and his face turned red. “No. I meant to,” he growled. “And this time little Peter won’t get the better of me! Not again!”

Black lunged at Lupin’s wand in Heather’s hand, knocking her down and pointed it at Scabbers. Heather scrambled to her feet as Lupin pushed Sirius Black back with what little strength he had left in him, holding the wand up to ensure all shots would be fired into the ceiling.

“We have to explain first!” Lupin shouted.

“Get off!” Black snarled, pushing Lupin back.

“Sirius, no! They need to understand or else – ”

“We’ll explain after! After its all finally over!”

Heather aimed her wand between the both of them. It looked like either one could pass out at any moment, neither having the strength or energy to fight the other.

“They have – a right – to know – everything!” Lupin wrestled his wand back as Black paused. “Harry, Heather, Ron, even Hermione – they are just as much involved as us. They deserve to know the truth, Sirius.”

Without taking his eyes off the rat, Black backed away. “Fine. But make it quick, Remus. I paid twelve years of time for this, I’m ready to do the crime I was sentenced for.”

“Nutters. The both of you!” Ron’s grip on Scabbers was tight but shaky. He looked at Harry, Heather, and Hermione. “I can’t take any more of this. I’m off.” He made to jump away from the post on his good leg but Lupin pointed his wand at him.

“You’re going to hear me out, all of you,” Lupin said quietly. “Please. So just keep a tight hold on Peter while you listen.”

“This isn’t Peter! HE’S SCABBERS!” Ron’s yell knocked him off balance and made him fall back onto the bed.

“We keep telling you, Peter’s dead.” Heather kept her aim locked on Sirius, who’s gaze was locked on Scabbers.

“A whole street full of people watched you kill him.” Harry inched his way between Lupin and Ron, helping Ron back up.

“They didn’t see what they thought they saw!” Black’s eyes narrowed on Scabbers, as if putting all the world’s blame on Ron’s still struggling rat.

“Everyone believed the reports. Even I believed it when it was said that Sirius Black was a supporter and that he’d savagely murdered Peter out on that street. And then I saw the map tonight – the map never lies… It showed Peter, alive… And Ron’s holding him.” Lupin encouraged Harry and Ron to look at the trembling rat, as if they’d instantly see what he was talking about.

Heather watched Harry and Ron exchange looks. And then she met Harry’s eyes. She turned to look at Hermione and then it was final. They were all in agreement: Black and Lupin had lost their minds completely and utterly. They were absolutely mental.

From what very little they knew about Scabbers, he’d been passed down from Weasley brother to Weasley brother and was as boring and ordinary as any rat. Maybe Ron was right, and Crookshanks really was a monster. Maybe this had been Crookshank’s plan all along. He’d convinced the already loony Sirius Black that Ron’s rat was the very man he hated brought back to life, and then Black had convinced Lupin. All of this was an elaborate ruse for Crookshanks to finally get rid of Scabbers once and for all. Evil little Crookshanks.

“Professor Lupin,” Hermione spoke up. “You know it can’t be true… that Scabbers is Peter Pettigrew…”

Heather rolled her eyes. Hermione thinks she can talk sense into just about anything. What they needed to do is somehow communicate a plan of escape. Great, they’re both crazy, but Lupin still has a wand and they’re stuck behind a man who can turn into a dog and claw them to death.

“Why can’t it be true?” Lupin looked to Hermione and shrugged his shoulders like a teacher eager for engagement.

“Well… people would know if Peter Pettigrew were an animagus. The ministry keeps tabs on them and wizards who can become animals. He’d have shown up on the registry, and only seven Animagi were registered this century… And Peter wasn’t one.”

Heather hadn’t thought of finding out who was a registered animagus. When Professor McGonagall had taught about them, she’d gone to the library to find out more. How it was done, how one could ensure a type of animal, what the laws were – and nothing had come up. Madam Pince made a great show of informing her how very ‘unallowed’ her snooping was. Becoming an animagus could only be done under the strict supervision of the Ministry, who would provide all ingredients and instructions.

Her eyes shifted to Black. “Was Sirius Black on the list?”

Lupin’s eyes darted to her, and he smiled again, as if already knowing the answer.

“No,” Hermione gasped.

“The Ministry never knew there were three unregistered Animagi running around Hogwarts.”

“Three?” Heather breathed.

Black growled again from the corner of the room. “If you’re going to tell them the whole story, do it quickly, Remus. I’ve waited twelve years and I won’t wait much longer. I will murder him tonight, whether you’re done talking or not.”

Lupin put up his hands in an attempt to calm the situation back down. “You’re right… I’ll get on with it, but you’ll have to help me fill out gaps. I only know the beginning – ”

There was a creak behind Sirius Black. The door had swung open without anyone noticing. Heather had been too focused keeping her wand on Sirius Black, Lupin had been turned around looking at them. And she suspected Hermione, Harry, and Ron had also been keeping their eyes on Lupin and Black.

Lupin crossed the room passed Black and looked out onto the landing. “No one…” He closed the door and walked back.

Ron was shivering from fright, or maybe fright and blood loss. “This place is haunted!”

Lupin looked back at the door once more before shaking his head. “It’s not. It never was. The Shrieking Shack was… The howls the village used to hear… They were made by me.”

“What do you mean by you?” Heather checked the door once more, but it remained closed. “Do you mean they heard you howl… as a werewolf? In here?”

He nodded. “That’s a good place to start the story actually – with me becoming a werewolf. If I hadn’t been bitten, none of this would have happened…”

“Go on,” Hermione was watching keenly, as if ready to take mental notes during a lecture.

“I was a small boy when I received the bite. In those days, there was no cure, but my parents did try everything, at least once. That potion that I’ve been drinking all year, the one Professor Snape has been making me, is a very recent discovery. It makes me safe to be around. As long as I take it in the week preceding the full moon, I keep my mind when I transform… I just… curl up in my office and wait for the moon to wane again.”

He was talking about the Wolfsbane potion. Heather shuttered at the thought of being put in charge of brewing it every month. One false move or miscalculation and hundreds of students could be put at risk from an out of control werewolf. And no one would even realize it wasn’t made correctly until the potion didn’t work that month. How recent is recent enough for a Potions Master to become familiar with the undoubtful success of a potion well brewed?

“Before the Wolfsbane potion was discovered, I was turning into a full-fledged monster once a month. It seemed impossible that I would ever be able to attend Hogwarts. It’s not like other parents would want me around their children. Dumbledore, however, came up with a way to keep everyone safe from me during those times.” He sighed roughly. “The Whomping Willow was planted the year I came to Hogwarts. All of this was built for my use. The tunnel and this house included. I was smuggled out of the castle and into this place to transform far away from everyone else. And the tree would ensure everyone would keep away.”

Heather couldn’t believe it. Dumbledore put all that work to ensure Lupin could attend the school. He’d have probably had to go against the Ministry, or fight very hard to allow it, especially with the way the Ministry wanted werewolves to be taught in school, as dangerous monsters whose monstrousness was of their own make.

“I was in so much pain when I transformed, that the village could hear everything I went through. They heard my howls and screams and thought it was violent spirits that haunted the home. Dumbledore even encouraged the rumors, and to this day the villagers don’t approach it.” Lupin looked as if he wanted to laugh, but his spirit was being weighed down by a fond sadness. “Despite my transformations every month… I was the happiest I ever was. For the first time I had friends, three great friends. Sirius Black… Peter Pettigrew… And James Potter.” He looked at Heather and Harry and smiled.

“They found me out about me as fast as you and Hermione, I think. I disappeared once a month and I only had so many excuses to tell them. I was terrified they’d desert me the moment they realized what I truly was. Except they didn’t. Instead, they did something to turn my transformations every month into the best times of my life. They became Animagi.”

“My dad…” Harry stared astounded.

“Oh yes. Him and Sirius worked tirelessly to do it. Took them three years to find it all out without anyone raising an eyebrow of suspicion. And trust me, there was already plenty suspicion being cast their way. Sirius and James were the cleverest students of our year, which was lucky, because the animagus transformation could have gone horribly wrong. Peter needed a great amount of help from them. But finally, come fifth year, they were all changing into a different animal at will.”

“But how is that helpful to you?” Hermione asked.

“They kept me company as animals. They all left the castle under James’ invisibility cloak and Peter, the smallest of them, would press the knot on the Whomping Willow and they could all come join me as their animal selves.”

“Move on with it, Remus.” Black was getting impatient just staring at the rat clutched tightly in Ron’s hands.

“Well… they became quite bored of the shack eventually… We started roaming the school grounds and the village by night. Although I was still very wolfish, my mind was much clearer around them. And James and Sirius were large enough to keep a grown werewolf in check. I doubt anyone knew the grounds quite like we did. That is how we came to write the Marauder’s Map. We even signed it with our nicknames. Sirius is Padfoot, Peter is wormtail, and James was Prongs.”

“That was really foolish.” Hermione huffed. “What if you had given them the slip and gone and bitten someone?”

Heather nodded. “You ran around assuming no one else snuck out of the castle at night.”

Lupin nodded slowly, staring down at the space between them. “Incredibly foolish of us. There were near misses, at least a handful of them… We laughed about most of them afterwards… We were young, careless, thoughtless – got carried away with our own cleverness… Though I sometimes felt guilty betraying Dumbledore’s trust…”

No one spoke, allowing Lupin time to collect his thoughts or push down feelings he seemed to be having.

“No Headmaster had wanted to admit me until Dumbledore. And I betrayed his trust. He had no idea I was breaking the rules, risking people’s safety, encouraging my friends into illegal activity that the Ministry would not excuse. And all this year I’ve been battling with my guilt, knowing I should tell Dumbledore that Sirius is an animagus, but I didn’t do it. I was too cowardly to admit to him that I’d broken his trust all those years ago. He admitted me when no one else would, and he gave me a job when nowhere else will. His trust means everything to me… I convinced myself that Sirius was getting in using Dark Arts that he’d learned from you-know-who. I convinced myself that him being an animagus had nothing to do with anything all year… In a way, Snape’s been right about me all along.”

Black scoffed, bringing everyone attention to him. For the first time all night he let his attention drop from Scabbers. “Snape? What’s he got to do with it?”

“He’s working here at the school, Sirius. As a teacher.” Lupin looked back at them. “He was at school with us too. And he fought very hard to keep the position of Defense Against the Dark Arts away from me. All year he’s been telling Dumbledore that I’m not to be trusted. He has his reasons… See, Sirius played a trick on him that could have gotten him killed… A trick which involved me – “

Black made a dismissive noise. “A trick that served him right,” he sneered. “Snape was always sneaking around, trying to find out what we were doing… trying to get us expelled…”

“Snape was very interested in where I disappeared to each month,” Lupin told them. “We were in the same year, and we – er – didn’t like each other very much. He especially disliked James. Jealous of him and his Quidditch talent… anyway, Snape saw me crossing the grounds with Madam Pomphrey as she led me to the Whomping Willow. Sirius thought it’d be – er – amusing – to tell Snape all he had to do was prod the knot with a long stick.”

“Of course he tried it,” Black cut in. “If I’d’ve told him he needed to chop off his own finger and sacrifice it to the Willow, he’d have done it, especially if it meant finding out what you were up to and getting you – and more likely, he hoped us – expelled.”

Lupin nodded. “If he’d got as far as the house, he’d have met a full grown werewolf. James however, heard what Sirius had done and went after Snape. He risked his own life and pulled Snape back just in time and saved him from what might have been a very gruesome death… for the both of them. However, Snape had caught a glimpse of me at the end of that tunnel. Dumbledore forbade him from telling anyone and since then he knew what I was…”

“That’s why he doesn’t like you,” Harry said slowly, as the revelation reached him. “He thinks you were in on the joke?”

From behind Lupin’s shoulder Heather caught a glimpse of what looked like the wall pattern shifting in wrinkles. Her eyes widened as the invisibility cloak fell to the floor, and Snape stepped forward, wand pointed at the back of Lupin’s head.

“That’s right,” Snape sneered, voice cold and tight with hatred.

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littlemessyjessi · 3 years

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Torn: Remus Lupin Story: PS OC: Chapter Two: Bothersome Bella

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Remus Lupin Imagine Turned Story

Re-Written and Edit of an old story of mine I had on Mibba that deserved some more love and attention, lol.

Remus Lupin x Vega Black (OC, OFC, PLUS SIZE OC, PLUS SIZE OFC)

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“If a thing is right it can be done, and if it is wrong it can be done without; and a good man will find a way.” ― Anna Sewell, Black Beauty

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Chapter Song: “Cowboy Lullaby”: Tim McGraw and Faith Hill

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Vega stood outside of Ravenclaw tower looking at that arrogant eagle door knocker who refused her passage until she correctly guessed the riddle. She'd guessed three times now and each time she was wrong. Now normally, she would've had more patience that than but the last three weeks hadn't been the best for her. Lost and late for her classes because of the moving staircases. Detention for her tardiness. A howler from her Aunt Walburga every single day telling her how upset they were with her sorting.

It didn’t help that she was missing her parents an awful lot.

It had been years and yet still... she was trying her best to deal with it.

Relocating was nothing new to her due to change from Tennessee to London...but Hogwarts was different.

At times like this, she just really wished she could still run into her father’s arms.

Ride behind her mother as they took a moonlight ride on her mother’s mare, Star.

She missed it.

She needed it.

She was dealing with alot.

All the mundane little things of life.

And many other struggles of the first year. In a few years, this would be comical to her...but not today. So.....she lost her temper. "Piece of shitl!" she screamed hauling back her Charms book and swinging at the entrance. "I hate this! I hate everything! Now let me in so I can go to sleep!" "Vega?" She paused in her assault and looked over her shoulder at none other than Remus Lupin. Of course. Of course it would be him. Why on earth would it be someone else besides her crush? The universe was against her and the little eleven year old girl felt like she was doomed to have Remus think she was mentally unstable. First it was crying over a muggle book and now it was psychotic rage over not being able to get into the common room. "Everything alright?" he asked her cautiously. She sighed, blowing a puff of air out of her reddened cheeks sending a dark curl bouncing in front of her before looking down in shame. "I can't get inside." He almost smiled. She was beating herself up over nothing. Most first years couldn't. Most upper classmen in the other houses would never even have a chance. "Oh, maybe I can help." he offered. "What's the riddle?" "Follower of man, dark as night, a trained choreography, comes after light." spoke the eagle again. Remus tapped his chin. "Alright, follower of man. So it's behind you and dark as night so it's black or at least darker. A trained choreography. Hmmm, we'll come back to that. Comes after light." he rambled. Vega bit her lip, "Ok so something dark that follows you after light....and it's moves. Merlin's beard!" "What?" he asked a little startled by her outburst. She grinned, "It's a shadow!" "Correct. You may now enter." spoke the eagle behind them. She smiled at Remus, "Thank you. I couldn't have done it without you." He shook his head, "Yes, you could've. You were just frustrated. You're smarter than most adults I know...and you're only eleven."

He bent to pick up her fallen books and peered at the cover, “Black Beauty?”

”Um, yeah.” she mumbled. “I found it in the common room and I just thought it looked interesting.”

Remus smiled at her gently, “You like horses don’t you?”

Vega’s cheeks flushed, “Well, I- I mean my mama - well, I just- just- Yeah. Yeah I like horses.”

Remus fought not to smile as she rambled but simply nodded and handed her the book.

”I like them too.” he said. “They’re gentle giants.”

”Yeah.” she said hugging the book to her chest. “They’re majestic.”

”Yeah.” he agreed. “I hope you have a good night, Vega. Good night.” "Good night, Remus." she smiled before ducking inside. Remus smiled and shook his head as he carried on his way. He hadn't seen very much of her since the sorting ceremony but she was in a different house and a different year than him. Additionally, she was a first year and apparently a very high strung first year so he didn't hold it against her. He did feel sorry for her. Everyone could hear the howlers her aunt sent her every day. Sure, Sirius had gotten them too and they were much worse for him but.... things seemed to affect Vega a little differently than they did Sirius. Remus went on about his way until he reached the Gryffindor tower and studied in the common room for a little while. Which actually meant he studies while James and Sirius copied his notes. After a while, he went to bed and actually had a fairly restful sleep. You never get him to admit that he had dreamed of Vega. Her curly black hair. Her big grey eyes, silver like the moon. Her full little lips. He'd never admit it but there was a sort of calmness that he got from her. She soothed him. The very thought made him laugh darkly. Of course, soothe the savage beast. At twelve he desperately wanted more friends and was incredibly grateful for the ones he had but...he'd never let himself be anymore social. Because he was afraid of what he was...and what he might do. The full moon was next week and he most certainly was not looking forward to it. The process, the lies, the hiding...any of it. He felt so lousy for lying to his friends like that. He'd done it all of the previous year and he got the feeling that they were onto him...just that maybe they didn't quite know what they thought they knew. The next morning we he awoke, he was alone in the dorm room. It was a bit odd seeing as how it was Saturday. The snores of James and Sirius who always chose to sleep late usually shook the bed. It wasn't all that uncommon for Peter to be up early. He was never one to miss a meal. "Hmm." Remus hummed in curiosity before climbing out and getting dressed. He greeted a few other house meets politely as he made his way out of Gryffindor Tower and down the corridor. His stomach growled and he figured he nip in and see if any breakfast was left in the Great Hall. However, on his way he heard some noise. A bang and then a lot of ruckus. Her recognized the glint of black hair up ahead and could clearly see that Vega lay in a heap on the floor....clearly injured. He ran to her and knelt beside her when he noticed three other girls. He recognized them instantly as the Black sisters. The eldest, Andromeda, had long brown hair and was the most tolerable. She was a Slytherin prefect a few years older than him but she was quite nice and polite. The youngest, Narcissa or Cissy, was a year younger than he, also in Slytherin, and had long white blond hair. He didn't know her very well, only that she was very quite and seemed completely smitten with Lucius Malfoy. The middle child was by far the worst. Bellatrix Black, hooded dark eyes and curly black hair with sharp features. Bella had a mean strike a mile long and she was cruel as they come. She was in his year and it was very clear that she and Sirius hated each other with a passion. And apparently, this included Vega who lay on the ground with cuts all over her and a blossoming bruise on her face. "Bella, enough!" Andromeda threatened. "What?!" Bella sneered. "She deserved it!" "She didn't do anything to you!" Andromeda pressed. "I saw her go for her wand." Bella spat at her elder sister. "If she did it's probably because you drew yours first." Andromeda said sternly towards her sister. "We both know that Vega was minding her own business just reading a book and -”

“A muggle book!”

“You're being a bully." "And you're a blood traitor." Bella snapped at her sister. "Come on, Cissy." The blond first year followed behind her sister who sneered at Vega, "See you later, cousin." Vega looked down and away from her. When the two of them left, Andromeda knelt down and inspected her young cousin. "I'm sorry, Vega." she said honestly. "You know how Bella is." Vega nodded and winced, "I'm fine. Thank you for your help." She moved to stand only to collapse into Remus' arms. Much to her embarrassment. She turned bright red. Andromeda arched an eyebrow at it but said nothing. She simply picked her cousin up. Since she was a seventh year and Vega just a first year, and a rather small one at that, it was nothing to lift the little girl. "Remus, if you would run along to the Great Hall and tell Professor Slughorn that I need to speak with him in the hospital wing, I'd appreciate it." she told him. He nodded and took off in the direction of the Great Hall. Breakfast long forgotten...as well as the blood on his clothes. He almost hit himself for not realizing because James and Sirius almost attacked him over it. "Whoa, Remus, mate! What happened?" James pressed. "Nothing." he tried to push them off on his way to the Head Table. "Professor Slughorn." he said as he approached. "Andromeda Black has asked me to inform you that she needs to speak with you. She's in the hospital wing." He tried to be quite but Slughorn being Slughorn drew attention to it. "The hospital wing?!" he exclaimed and Remus flushed a little. "Yes, alright, Mr. Lupin. Thank you." And with that he was gone in bustle of robes. When Remus turned he was met with many stares but none so potent as James and Sirius'. He maneuvered around them and headed for the door, his stomach twisted in knots. Two familiar hands came down on his shoulders and turned him around. "What's going on?" Sirius asked him. He looked into his friend's eyes. If anyone deserved to know....Sirius really did. She was his cousin. "It's Vega." he said. The color drained from Sirius' face. "What?" he whispered. "What happened?" Remus glanced around, "Follow me. Not here." James and Sirius exchanged a glance and they followed him outside the Great Hall and down a corridor. Remus sighed, "She’s hurt. Andromeda took her to the hospital wing so I'm sure Madame Pompfrey will fix her up but Bellatrix Black jumped her in the lav." Sirius almost turned purple with anger, "That bitch!" "Is she alright?" James asked. Remus shrugged, "She awake but pretty cut up and she had a bruise on her face when I got there. Narcissa was with Bellatrix but I don't know if she was involved." "I bet she was." Sirius snarled. "She's just like her. She's got her nose shoved so far up Malfoy's arse that she..." "Andromeda broke it up." Remus cut him off. "She took her to the hospital wing and sent me to fetch Slughorn." "I'll kill 'em." Sirius seethed. "Sirius, mate, I know that you're angry but we've gotta be smart here." James reasoned with him. "She's my sister!" he exploded.

“Cousin.” James corrected.

“Well whatever,” Sirius said before deflating. “Vega never did anything wrong. She's a good girl."

James and Remus could clearly see how he was worried for her. "She's in good hands, mate." James assured him. "Madame Pompfrey is a wicked healer." "And I'm sure Slughorn will do something about Bellatrix and Narcissa." Remus reasoned. "Andromeda seemed determined of that." He had to admit that was quite admirable. Even when she knew there was definite possibility of points being deducted from her own house....still it seemed as if Andromeda's good judgment would way out. "Not good enough." Sirius growled. "Well then." James smiled. "I guess we'll just have to prank them." Sirius grinned slightly in spite of himself, "Well do it for V." "Somehow I don't think she'd approve of you causing mayhem in her name." Remus smirked before adding, "But I'm in."

--------------------------

Chapter One

Chapter Three

--------------------------------

Hello my lovelies! Here is another rewrite of a previous work of mine that I had on Mibba! I did a bit of reworking on the character, her name and her backstory because I just felt like she deserved more! I would love to know what you think of little Vega!

So please comment, reblog with thoughts and/or smash the ask box! I do so love hearing from you my loves!

Love,

Kenny

————————-

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Love, Kenny

----------------------------------------

#remus lupin #remus john lupin #remus lupin x vega black #vega equuleus black #vega black #torn remus lupin story #torn remus lupin x vega black #young remus lupin #marauder #marauders era #sirius blacks cousin

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seriouslyblacklikemysoul · 4 years

Text

Until Forever - Sirius Black

Chapter 11. Friends.

After that particular talk she had with Minerva, she felt lighter, as if the weight she was carrying on had been lifted from her chest, freeing her from the invisible tyrant. She had finally found someone she could be honest – she hated lying, even white lies put her in a hard position. She was slowly learning how to be at ease when things falling apart and that she had to start over; how to trust those new beginnings once more, how to trust in the rebirth of things and people, including herself; that with every new beginning, she found another lost piece of herself, and with every new adventure, she fell in love with something she would never have thought she’d love. They were scary and confusing but they were also spectacular and extraordinary. Running away was not always the solution. Slowly, but steadily enough, she was learning how to let new people in – how to reawaken her faith in people and their ability to love and their ability to open her heart again. And while she was dreading it, she was hoping that people could see all the different sides of her and still stay. She was never big on trusting herself but she had to; she had to find the ability to trust all those tough experiences that left scars inside her heart or stitches inside her brain, all of that contributed to who she had grown to be. She had to finally understand that things didn’t always fall apart to give an ending, but sometimes they fell apart to present a new beginning. Couple of days passed her by, as she decided to do nothing at all but take of herself, occasionally talking about her secret with her professor and giving in to the pleasure of the beauty world. She was a 2020’s girl and could not, would not, compromise that for the makeup trends of the 70s and 80s. She hated the bold colors that were used without blending – the big hair and the extreme statements. She was a girl of her time, and that time wasn’t this one. Her things were cut-creases and winged eyeliner, matte foundation and contouring, perfectly shaped eyebrows and soft lips. She had to ask her professor for a couple of favors, but Minerva was more than happy to oblige, remembering her young years as well. She had spent the last days, happily alone – of course she was thinking about everything. Her old life, however, seemed too far away from her now. Like a distant dream. She knew that it was more than just a possibility to never live in her time again, and even though that saddened her, she found herself relieved – she had formed attachments despite her initial thoughts of being distant and alone. Yup, that went well.

The 29th day of December had arrived and she was still contemplating whether or not to go to the party. Thanks to Minerva, who was even more excited than she was, she had now a gorgeous dress and high heels but her gut feeling told her that maybe, she just wanted to go so she could see him. With another girl. And in the process, hurt Remus again. While all that time, she should be investigating everyone and everything so she could find a way to change the story and the outcomes. Oh, well, she was twenty-two, after all. She was one of the very few Gryffindors who had stayed and she had the common room to herself most of the time – just like now; she was enjoying silence with a bottle of sparkling wine. She was ecstatic for not having to buy more bottles but simply conjuring more delicious wine – magic was helpful. Unknown to her, she was being stared at. She had stars behind each eyelid and a galaxy in her soul that drew people to her endless heart, like the pull of a black hole, she was made of earth and fire, of wishes cast on shooting stars. She was a brand-new solar system, unlike the ones he had known so far, with constellations ever changing. No one could memorize her skies and he thought the thing for all of her previous relationships to do was bring her down to size. He could see, they had tried to shrunk the universe within her, told her that her vast expanse was wrong, that she should make her life much smaller, if she wanted to belong. But she had denied them that privilege over her and he was amazed by her strength. He threw himself to the couch and she yelp in surprise. He was the last person she expected to see there. He was enjoying her loss of words very much, trying at the same time to convince himself that his visit was purely out of friendly interest. “What can I say? I felt bad for leaving you alone” he exclaimed rather provocatively. She sneered and arched her eyebrow. That was how they were playing at. “Don’t. I was having fun” she answered truthfully, pointing at her drink. He knew he was supposed to follow her hand but he couldn’t take his eyes off of her. She was a vision of heartache and blooded marches that hadn’t even started yet; a battlefield of blossomed roses about to sacrifice themselves to the Gods so that their love would survive. “What kind of a friend would I be then, huh? Speaking of, I didn’t know your birthday was a month ago. But guess who did… ouch” he said and even though it was a mockery, he did sound hurt, or rather jealous. She thought about the word he had used – friend. He wasn’t. Even though she so desperately wanted him to be, he wasn’t. “He asked, you didn’t” she fired as soft as a bullet hitting the petals of a rose. Raising her glass to a toast she never proposed, she saluted him and he knew she was in a mood, alright. “Careful there, you were almost being sweet” he provoked her further. She simply turned her entire body towards him, taking notice of everything, his outfit, his hair, his eyes. He could wear a rag and he would still look incredible. Of course, the leather jacket and the black biker boots were making her imagination run wild. She forgot what she wanted to say to him – probably something sarcastic – and instead offered wine, face masks and her room. Bold move – and a risk he accepted. Sirius was a dilemma; a broken crown wanting to reclaim the throne; a shuttered mirror trying to depict life as it once was. She thought how childish he had been described in the books – but she kept forgetting that all of that was supposed to be parts of a book. He felt real, next to her, with a green tissue mask on his face, pretending to be a zombie and drinking wine. He was just a young adult and he had every right in the world to enjoy his life as much as possible – she wanted him to have those moments, for later he would lose all hope. “What is this? I love it!” he proclaimed his love to the bottle of wine he had also claimed for himself only. She tried not to laugh because she, herself, had a tissue mask on her face but it proved to be impossible. “It’s called Moscato d’Asti – and it’s my favorite” she told him as she laid on her bed, closing her eyes, not wanting to meet his. Next thing she knew, he was right beside her, his hand grazing her thigh. She swallowed hard and shot up – straight to the bathroom. Removing the mask and washing her face with cold water, she did a breathing exercise to calm her nerves but her stomach had been replaced by a knot. She looked at the mirror, a reflection she didn’t recognize. Taking a deep breath, she went out finding Sirius pacing back and forth. It would have been a rather serious scene but he still had his mask on, something he realized and looked down embarrassed. After a moment or two in the bathroom, recollecting himself, he exited with a fake smile that made her guts twist, so she blurted out the first thing that came into her mind. “I met your brother. Nice guy” she commented honestly but his cringed. Arching her eyebrow, and raising her hands up, she surrendered. He sat down next to her, eyeing her and wanting nothing more than to tell her the whole truth. “I will answer any question you have but let me give you your birthday present” he gave in once his eyes met hers. He was lying to everyone when he was pretending to be her friend – he wasn’t. Before she could register what was happening, Sirius had an entire tattoo kit to play with. Her mouth hung open, not even close to believing the scene unfolding. “No, no, no, no. First off, you’re drunk. Then I don’t trust you with a needle to draw something permanent on me and no!” she summed up quickly but he wasn’t listening. “I know what I am doing. Trust me” he informed her rather nonchalant. They did have a deal… She bit her lip and rolled her eyes. Fine. She had an excuse now, for revealing her tattoos to him. He hadn’t asked her too but she wanted. “Okay. But you have to see my other tattoos first” she carefully told him, watching hi prepare the equipment; his head shot up in the words. He had never thought she would show him her story – because each tattoo was a part of her story. She had never been good at hiding her feelings… and here she was, swallowing her emotions, mutilating her own self for someone else’s sake. She saw the broken pieces in his eyes and wished she could tell him that he would heal in four months, or two weeks, or by next Monday if he really tried. But she couldn’t and that costed her. For if there was anything, she had learned about moving forward, about letting go, about becoming the person she wanted to become — it was that it happened in the quietest moments. Growth crept into her, it burrowed and it stretched, it cracked her open from the inside, and one day she woke up and she had to open her eyes. Maybe he would need more time or better suited people around him. Slowly, she revealed each of her tattoos to him. She removed the spell concealing them and let him explore her. He was tracing his fingertips on her skin. He had seen the lotus flower and remembered her explanation. Her left ring finger was delicately decorated with a small rose. His hands traveled to the inner part of her forearm just below her right elbow, caressing the bracelet of the phases of the moon and the sunflower that reminded him of the sunflowers Van Gogh used to paint. Her shirt was loose enough for him to push the strips off of her shoulder to reveal the Arabic quote she had tattooed on her left collarbone. Before he could stop himself, he was fondling her inked skin – his hand was too close to her neck – he could see her pulse quicken, he felt her breath on his mouth. He knew she had more tattoos but stopped before leaning too close. “I didn’t run away to leave my brother behind. I was thrown out and I am haunted by the ghost of him. I know I have screwed up but they were right about one thing. I don’t believe that I deserve love – I couldn’t give it when I had to” he confessed, gathering his tools to create a birthday present for her that would last. She didn’t dare to move, looking at him as if any moment now, he would vanish. He carefully took her left hand and cleaned the inner part of her forearm just below her elbow with pure alcohol. With an eye contact to seal their deal, he begun drawing. It hurt but it was a sweet burning sensation that she didn’t really mind. “It’s a lie to think that you don’t deserve love if you aren’t able to love yourself. You deserve it. You deserve companionship and care and relationships that feel good and spaces where you’re cherished and valued. Even if you have days where you want to crawl out of your skin and disappear. Even if there are moments when you feel inadequate and unlovable. You don’t have to be alone just because you’re battling your own darkness. Carrying that weight doesn’t make you defective or too much or unworthy of love and belonging. It makes you human. It makes you someone who’s internalized judgments that were never yours to carry. It makes you someone who’s survived a lifetime of trauma and loss and pain. Someone resilient and inconceivably brave. Someone courageous enough to connect, despite the lies in your head. And there’s no shame in that. So please, don’t withdraw or close yourself off. Self-hatred doesn’t get unlearned through isolation. It’s unlearned through love. Through connection and care. Through having relationships and gathering evidence that you can be imperfect and struggling and still be valued. That you can hurt and be at war with your head and still be wanted. I know it’s hard to trust, but you belong. And no matter how much darkness you’re carrying, you deserve to love and be loved” she told him while he was still focused on the piece, he wanted her to have. His hair falling elegantly on his face, eyes silver as mercury dancing across her skin. ‘There is a crack in everything. That’s how the light gets in’ it read as the quote was mingling with the swirling blues and yellows of the Starry night. It was a bracelet as well but it made her teary – her favorite painting with some of the most meaningful words she had read. He wrapped it and sealed it close but she already knew how to take care of new tattoos. When his eyes met hers, the entire world seized to exist. It was just them and nothing could intervene. She didn’t stop herself from hugging him and thanking him – a whisper that made him melt inside her embrace. “There is a Japanese word; kinsukuroi. It’s the art of repairing pottery with gold or silver lacquer and understanding that the piece is more beautiful for having been broken. I find it strangely reassuring” he tenderly told her and she felt a blissful breeze of refreshing air calming down her lungs. “If you want to see the other tattoos, you can. It’s just that…” she trailed of and cautiously grabbed the hem of her shirt to pull it off. She knew it was too much – she could have just described them to him. But she knew it was a risk she was willing to take because the moment would never be perfect, the circumstances would only worsen and her heart would only break even more. He took a sharp breath in but didn’t stop her; quite the opposite really. He found himself helping her out of her shirt with shaky hands. His touch burned her but she could only look at him and see a future – it scared her. His eyes stayed on hers but slowly they roamed her upper body and suddenly they fell on the canis major constellation, tattooed right in the middle of her chest – underneath her bra. There was a small blue bird in the left side of her rib-cage, probably the one from Bukowski’s poem. He wasn’t able to do anything but stare at her and explore her body. She softly nudged her hair out of the way and his eyes traveled to her neck once again. It was the most intimate thing he had ever done. She twisted her torso so he could see her back – a pair of antlers resting close to her hairline and the planetary system running down her spine. Not just any tattoo. It was almost identical to his. “How is this possible? The moon, the canis major, the antlers, the planets? How?” he asked disoriented, not knowing which tattoo to look at because if he looked at her face, he would kiss her, crush her in his arms. She shrugged and put her shirt back on. He knew those tattoos were done at least a year ago – she didn’t know them. “Maybe not in your reality. But is was in mine” she airily told him, leaving him with questions to which he did know the answer. The girl in front of him hadn’t simply fallen from the sky to his embrace. She had fallen through time. He was too close, his breath on her mouth, her hands on his arm, tracing the patterns of his tattoos. She closed her eyes, not wanting to collide. Not now. Not yet. But she couldn’t say no all at once. She placed a small peck on his cheek and thanked him again. “Care for a cigarette?” she mouthed too close to his lips. No, he didn’t. He cared about her. All the right ways – and all the wrong ones. He was hers in a way he never belonged to anyone ever before. A little. A lot. Passionately. Not all.

___ Taglist: @nadinissavage @mycobrakai1972

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elfenbensord · 4 years

Text

GOODBYE, STRANGER / CHAPTER 1

GOODBYE, STRANGER / CHAPTER ONE / OBLIVIATE

SERIES MASTERLIST

3-10.8.20

A/N: This is a new series I started a bit randomly one night. Enjoy some sad Remus and chaotic Y/N content

Warning: A Sad™ time.

Word count: 3.8 k

It was an early morning yesterday

I was up before the dawn

And I really have enjoyed my stay

But I must be moving on

---

October 31st, 1981

On a train to London

Remus could see tiny stars on a black infinity as he looked up at the sky through the dingy windows of the train. He was all alone in the carriage, something which reflected his current life situation very well. In his mind, a series of panicked questioned were playing on repeat.

What had Dumbledore said? That the hiding place had been compromised? That the Dark Lord had personally gone after Lily and James?

And where was Sirius in all this? Where was Peter?

Were his best friends still alive?

The stars above granted him no answers.

---

October, 1982

A year after

Remus woke up early. He always did. For a few hours, it was just him and the early morning sun. He hated it. Once, he could’ve given anything for just an hour of silence, a minute of calm. Now he felt himself suffocating on this endless expanse of nothing. The silence acted as yet another confirmation of one of his many dreadful suspicions - that he was lonely. Perhaps he always had been. He probably always would be.

Breathing in deeply, he couldn’t help but turn his nose away in distaste. His entire flat smelled of old stains and neglected dishes. Sunlight peeked through the curtains of his bedroom window, illuminating a gentle storm of dust for an instance. After shining in a quite naturally magical way, it settled into his clothes, into his lungs. Looking down, he saw the same shirt and slacks he’d worn the night before. And the night before that.

I’m not even hungover, he thought.

He wasn’t. He hadn’t touched a drop of alcohol in months. The thought of drowning his sorrows in brown liquids and vile smells had never been appealing to him. Not even now. ‘Now’ being the end of everything. Well, maybe not everything. But the end of him, at least. It had already begun, deep in his mind. He just hadn’t come to the right conclusions just yet.

The sun smiled at him from its rightful place in the sky. After giving it a dirty look, Remus closed the curtains.

---

His morning coffee tasted way too bitterly. With every sugar, it only seemed to turn darker. Nothing tasted quite the same anymore. Sweet was often exchanged for bitterness, and vice versa. Whenever he wished for one, he got the other. If anything, it made eating an awful business to him.

That night a year ago constantly lingered in the back of Remus‘ mind. That final night. When his entire fate was turned upside down.

He’d lost so many things that one night. Went to bed one day, to discover it all gone the moment he woke up. He’d had a home. Grimmauld Place 12 had been a wonderful place back then, always full of volunteers and members of the Order, old and new. And there was a constant lingering smell of Molly Weasley’s roast chicken, companionship, and too much firewhiskey now and then.

And he’d had friends. Best friends. “Cross my heart and hope to die” friends.

He’d had a purpose, or something like it. The war had given Remus a meaning. Where it to so many others had taken lives, it had unusually granted him one.

It was a life he did his best to take good care of. A life he’d spent years building, repairing, and desperately ensuring. He was even making plans to enroll in studies at a university nearby that hopefully one day would become a degree in teaching. He’d known where he was, and where he was going.

And over one night, nothing was left of that.

He still remembered arriving to Grimmauld Place, only to see it empty and abandoned. And that recurring question - Where were his best friends?

Gone. He’d discovered in the morning. No one had bothered to tell him - instead, he’d had to read all about it in the Daily Prophet.

James and Lily Potter dead. Their son, Harry, somehow survived.

The Dark Lord defeated.

Peter Pettigrew - dead at the hands of Sirius Black.

Sirius Black - the damned traitor! - a life sentence in Azkaban.

Remus was the only one left. Without friends. Without a home. And without purpose.

---

“Mr. Lupin, are you listening?”, the Healer inquired.

“Hmm?”

“Did you hear what I just said?”

“Yes, of course.”

“Then what did I say?”

“I- I don’t… I don’t know.”

Remus felt like he was being scolded, like a child who’d nicked candy from the Christmas shelf. A heavy knot of tears started to settle in the base of his throat. Like a child. Pathetic.

The Healer smiled in a, what he thought, sympathetic way. To Remus it simply looked like pity. A lot of things looked like pity to him now. “No worries, I’ll go over it again…”

Please, don’t, he thought.

“As I said, I need you to keep coming back for checkups at least once a month…”

Great, another thing to dread.

“... and I’ll have your asthma medication ready next time…”

Not only are all my friends dead, now my lungs are giving in as well.

“... and I really think it’d be good for you if you started making some new friends.”

New friends?

“Did you hear me this time, Remus?”

“Loud and clear. I’ll be back in a month.”

“Looking forward to see you.”

I’m not.

---

New friends?

Remus wasn’t even sure how to do that anymore. Friends were something for the past him. He hadn’t had anyone since that final night, a year ago. He didn’t even consider himself to be his own friend. Because what other friends than his first and last could he possibly ever have? And he even felt like a traitor to them. Most days, he tried to think as little of them as possible. Hoped to eventually forget them, in an attempt to soften the pain. Tried to stay in the present. But nothing worked. Nothing would grant him a single second of relief.

How could it? His best friends had died.

And now… Now he was someone else. He suspected he’d become unrecognizable to the ones who’d known him. He hadn’t cut his hair in a year. It hung around his ears in sorry curls. He hunched in a new way now, something which might’ve granted him a sense of anonymity and security during the war, but now only hurt his back more as each day passed. Sometimes he felt like he was still in the thick of it. Still in the middle of a wizarding war. Like he’d forgotten it was all over. That’s why he still couldn’t walk without casting cautious glances over his shoulder every other minute. That’s why he awoke soaked in sweat, terrified and confused, in the middle of the night.

They were always there. In the back of his mind. Their screams. Their final words.

And as he failed to forget them, he started to forget himself instead. His existence before this seemed more and more like a dream for each day that passed. He existed in an endless vacuum. Only ‘now’ existed. Nothing before or to be. Nothing ever would.

And he could never forget the night that made him want to forget himself. But Remus wanted to forget. For real, not just for a moment.

And he knew just the spell.

---

“Bloody fuck”, he whispered, eyes locked at the grey cobble street by his feet. The wind tugged at his hair. He added a curse for himself, and for not realizing he should’ve worn a hat. His ears burned in that cool way, when warmth and cold seem indistinguishable. He drew his worn-out tweed coat tighter around him. It’s unusually cold for July. Is it even still July?

Before him was his well-familiar grocery shop. In one of the big glass windows hung a sign, ‘Sorry, we’re closed!’ and a handwritten note, stating that the shop was to close permanently because of family troubles.

For Remus, that meant he’d have to walk two more blocks to get to the next shop. Or disapparate. But he hadn’t tried to teleport in so many months, he was scared he might’ve forgotten how to. And if he messed up, who would he call?

What he’d have to do was to walk. And he’d come to despise walking. He muttered a few swears, before beginning his journey.

It took one block, before his lungs started to burn. Remus had come to despise the wheezing sound they - his lungs - made after the smallest kinds of exercise. His airways only seemed to close in tighter, in their wild ambition to strangle him. He found that even if he did arrive at the shop, he wouldn’t be able to get home. And then the whole thing seemed rather pointless.

All this resulted in him turning around, and accepting the fact that he couldn’t have dinner tonight. It wouldn’t be the first time. Sure, his Healer had said that any more skipped meals would eventually result in some sort of wicked starvation, which could get him a place at St. Mungo’s. And another month at St. Mungo’s wasn’t something he wanted. He thought he’d wasted enough time lying in a bed, being fed and dallied with.

Remus didn’t know what to do. His lungs burned. He could’ve killed for Molly Weasley’s roast chicken. With buttered potatoes and steamed green beans. Only a year ago, he had killed for Molly Weasley.

His lungs wouldn’t stop gasping for air. He pulled his arms around himself, and let out an ill-sounding cough. The sorry sight gained him a few looks from the people passing by.

Pull yourself together!

Then he remembered - a few weeks back, he’d bought far too many instant soup packs after finding a coupon in the Daily Prophet. Maybe he could find one of them, preferably mushroom-flavoured, somewhere at the very back of his kitchen drawers. It was a shot in the dark, he admitted that. But it was a shot at something, at least.

---

Coughing and wheezing, he finally arrived home. Well, perhaps ‘home’ wasn’t the right word. He arrived at the place where he’d been hiding away for the past year. How homely that was, he didn’t want to judge for himself.

As he held on to the wall beside the staircase for his dear life, he noticed how the front door opposite his own was hanging opened.

Someone’s in there! His mind went haywire, hand cramping around the wand from his inner pocket. Breaths became shallow, inaudible. Steps softened. Time seemed to slow down. He could feel the seconds moving past him.

The top step creaked under the weight of his right foot.

Remus moved closer to the open door. Meanwhile, he rehearsed the most useful spells for attack and defense.

But the scene before him was nothing like he’d imagined or rehearsed for.

“Hello there, stranger!” A girl half-shouted from inside. She was surrounded by moving boxes, but already looked quite at home. There was a happy look plastered upon her face.

No Death Eaters. No ‘fight or flight’. Just a girl.

Remus was taken aback. “Good evening”, his voice sounded like an unfamiliar croak. “... stranger.”

At the presence of another human being, Remus also found himself quite self-conscious about his looks. He knew he hadn’t showered in ages, and he couldn’t remember if he’d brushed his teeth this morning. Only Godric knew the last time he’d combed his hair. He made a half-hearted attempt to calm his disorderly brown locks, before tucking his arms into his sides. He felt the sharp end of his wand dig into the flesh of his hips, and hoped he wouldn’t accidentally turn his insides to jelly.

There was a stack of bowls wrapped in old newspapers in her arms, and a cheery smile on her lips. She hurried to put them down on the floor, causing Remus to cringe at the clinking sound they made. Surely something must’ve broken. She got up from the floor, standing in her full length. She still didn’t reach past Remus’ shoulders. “I’m the new neighbor.”

New neighbor?

“I’m Y/N”, she handed him her name. And, judging by the smile on her lips, a piece of her heart as well. She looked so effortlessly happy. It stirred something in Remus, making him wanting to return the smile in the best way he could.

He got lost in her happiness, and forgot himself for a moment. “I’m…”, an idiot. “I’m Remus Lupin.”

“Nice to meet you”, another goddamned smile. Wide and white-teethed. “I guess we’ll be seeing a lot of each other. I mean, sharing a whole corridor and all.”

Remus had never once given that corridor a single thought. “Yup. An entire corridor...”

Another smile. “It’ll be fun, won’t it?”

Fun? “Sure.”

He realized he still had his wand in his hand, and quickly put it away as to not look like he’d just been planning an attack on a devotee of the Dark Lord.

“I better get back-”, he mumbled.

“I need to keep unpacking-”, she said.

She reached out a final hand. A final smile. “Nice meeting you.”

Remus took it. It was softer than he remembered hands could be. His lips were forced into a strained smile, “Same.”

Nose crinkled, eyes sparked. “See you around, Remus.”

Her door was still hanging open when Remus turned his back on her to return to his own nest. Careless girl.

All of this made Remus unsure of how to feel. This exceeded all his expectations - but to be fair, pretty much anything did now a days. He felt himself thrown off his usual dull rhythm. This was... new. He threw a last look down the corridor, and noticed he could still see her through her open door.

Anyone could walk through an open door. Shaking his head, he closed his own door with a loud ‘thud’.

---

FRIDAY

Remus had made sure the door was locked at least three times now. He got up from the coach to check again. Locked. Like it’d been the first time.

Satisfied, he returned to the coach. Looking around him, he made sure to check that everything was in order. He’d written himself a note, containing his name and birth information. He didn’t intend to forget every thing, but he knew that these sort of spells could be incalculable. ‘These sort of spells’ being spells for desperate fools. Such as himself.

The note was in place on the coffee table in front of him. He figured he better sit down. It wasn’t impossible that a erasing your past could make you a bit fussy.

It’s probably best to just nap it out, he thought to himself. Just… fall asleep old and wake up brand new.

The familiar wood of his wand felt like an old friend. Not that he particularly knew what those felt like anymore. The slender stick was the only thing linking him to his past. It started heating up slightly against his hand. Almost as if it knew what he was about to do. Begging him not to. His wand hand started shaking more. He needed steadier hands for this. The truth was, he needed someone else’s hands for this. Someone else to pull the plug.

He had no one. Nothing.

His lungs wheezed as he took a deep breath, steadying his hands. Another breath, and he braced himself.

His lips begun to shape the word, but his voice wouldn’t produce a sound. He tried again. Nothing.

Then, there was a sudden pain. The ever present ache in his head became more apparent; it turned into a sharp pain. His hands started to shake, dropping the wand like it was burning his skin. His airways closed in, there suddenly was no sair for him to breath. He could feel his head starting to spin, his vision becoming fuzzy. He felt like he was melting away.

Then there was nothing.

---

SATURDAY

Remus woke up late. Judging by the way the sun was burning into his eyes, it must’ve been past noon. He’d been passed out for more than 12 hours.

His mouth felt like sandpaper. Head was still fuzzy, and hands and limbs not feeling quite like they should. He was alive. And he didn’t know whether to be disappointed or not.

A shower, he thought. A shower and I’ll be fine. Well, ‘fine’ was an overstatement.

Looking into the bathroom mirror, he barely recognized himself. Who was this man? With sunken in, dull eyes, gazing back at him. There was an angry red mark on the bridge of his nose, probably caused by his metal-rimmed glasses digging into his face all through the night. And most of the day. His face was nothing more but a pale complexion in a dirty mirror.

I used to be covered in freckles, he remembered. Little delightful brown spots everywhere. Now, his face was laid bare.

The hot water from the shower hurt and pricked his fragile skin. But it was a good hurt. It was an ‘I’m alive’ hurt. Remus rested his head against one of the tiled walls, feeling the water pour down his back. He still couldn’t understand what had exactly happened last night. He’d tried to forget. He’d ended up passing out.

“Shit”, he mumbled. The water ran a little hotter. His fist punched the hard surface of the tile wall. “Shit, shit, shit, shit!”

Through the small window of his bathroom, the sun kept pouring in. It burned his eyes with its brightness.

He cursed the sun. He cursed the moon and the stars. He cursed himself. Himself and his incapability. Himself and his naivete - had he really thought he could just forget?

A cold, frosty feeling started to settle into his insides. The water from the shower head turned freezing cold. Out of hot water.

“... Shit.”

---

There was a knocking at the door. Three quick beats. At his front door. Remus was still standing in his hallway, towel wrapped around his middle and hair in a wet mess. He muttered a series of curses and swears, as he tried to find a clean shirt in his mess of a bedroom. Finding no such thing, he retorted to one of his coats from the hangers next to the door. It’d have to do. He’d fought off Death Eaters - one time even the Dark Lord himself - with worse dress sense.

The knocking continued, followed by a voice. “Hello?”

The last syllable was dragged out far too long for Remus’ liking. Realizing a Death Eater most certainly would never use the word in such a comical way, he let himself relax just a little.

“Anybody home?”

He opened the door an inch, casting a cautious look outside.

The new neighbor. The girl. Whatever her name was.

“Good afternoon”, followed by a wide smile.

Was it really that late?

She noticed the coat. The damned coat. “Are you going out?”

He crossed his arms around himself, in yet another attempt to hide himself. “No. Not particularly.”

Remus’ confused face clearly amused her, for a bubbling laughter fell out of her lips.

“Were you out for a bit too long last night?”

Was that a joke? “Yeah, something like that… Sorry, did you need anything?”

“No. I was just wondering what you were up to right now.”

A small smile started to involuntarily form on his lips. “I’m not doing… anything. Ever.”

At least that’s true.

“Good. ‘Cause I need a companion.”

“Companion?”

“You know, like a friend.”

Friend? “Oh. Right.” Friend? “Me? Am… Am I your friend?”

Another smile. “Of course. You’re the closest friend I’ve got in London at the moment.”

Friend? Remus wasn’t anyone’s friend. The thought both thrilled and concerned him.

“Okay. Sure. I can be your”, he cleared his throat, “companion.” Then he remember, the damned coat!

With his easiest smile, “Could you give me just a quick minute?”

“Sure. I’ll just wait inside.”

Before Remus could say or do anything she halfway forced, halfway snuck into his sorry excuse of a flat. This was not what he was expecting. But then, what had he really been expecting? From minute one, she’d been completely… unexpected.

Whatever-her-name-was looked around, inspecting his dirty dishes, the clothes that had been on the floor for months. The layers of dust covering almost every area.

A small nod, another dawning smile. “I like what you’ve done with the place.”

Remus could only try to keep up, “... Thanks?”

“You’re welcome. Oh, and you should probably put on some clothes before we head out.”

Remus looked down. His stomach dropped as he saw how his coat was hanging half open, revealing the towel around his waist. “Sorry! I’ll see to that right now.”

---

Dressed in his only clean button up shirt and a pair of almost clean jeans, Remus now walked side by side with his new acquaintance. He didn’t dare call her a friend yet, partly because of his own doubt, partly because of her (so far) unpredictable ways. The terms and conditions of this so called “friendship” were still a mystery to him, like so many things about her.

“Excuse me for asking, but exactly where are we going?” He turned around to look at her, only to be met with a smile. Didn’t she ever stop smiling?

“Didn’t I tell you?”

Didn’t her mouth ever get tired?

“No, I don’t think so.”

Yet another smile. She seemed to have smiles for everyone. “How silly of me!” Her lips only widened. “We’re going to a marketplace.”

Marketplace? “Is there such a thing here?”

“I guess we’re about to find out.”

Right. Of course.

“Right… And why did you need me to come with you?”

“So I don’t get lonely, obviously.”

Who was she? “Right. Sure. Obviously.”

He realized a rather embarrassing fact. “I’m sorry, what was your name again?”

A smile. “You must have a really bad memory.”

“Well, no, I’d actually argue my memory’s quite good, but I was… distracted when I met you.”

Another smile. “I’m Y/N Y/L/N. I’m your neighbor.”

“Yes. Right. And I’m Remus.” He stuck his hand out, “Very nice to meet you.”

She grabbed his hand in an unexpected way, and sped up her pace. “Come on, this’ll be fun!”

A strangled noise forced its way out of his throat. Chest begun to feel warm and slightly shaky. He was laughing. She soon joined him.

Looking up, Remus saw how the sky was clearing up. The sun still strained to reach through a fading curtain of clouds. He closed his eyes, and felt the sun smile on his face for what felt like the very first time.

---

taglists

permanent: @rocking-like-a-ravenclaw / @kapolisradomthoughts / @siriusement / @classy-sith-lady / @hermione-who / @theseuscmander / @sleepingalaska

remus lupin: @writingwitchly / @serenefreakgeek / @spideyfan456 / @un-nouveau-soleil / @evyiione / @reggieblck / @bookworm0123 / @deathbyramennoodles / @cedricisnotonfire / @allauraleigh

#remus lupin x reader #remus lupin #young!remus lupin x reader #young!remus lupin #goodbye stranger #gs

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justtoarguewithyou · 4 years

Text

9/24: Forgiveness

My contribution to the @swottypotter comfort minifest. did we all write about the prank? i hate the prank. ugh.

The moon was waxing, and Remus was already very tired. Friday would be a full moon. The first full moon of his last year at Hogwarts.

It was a shame the penumbral lunar eclipse wouldn’t be visible this time. Remus loved an eclipse because as the moon was obscured, he could feel himself waking up inside the wolf, which was fun. During an eclipse, he had little moments that were his own, when he could fully appreciate his friends, and their forest adventures.

He wondered what a total eclipse would feel like. When the moon was totally obscured, would it be what he imagined being an Animagus felt like? Total eclipses were rare, and even rarer that they would be visible where he was. But now he wondered.

He hadn’t experienced too many total eclipses in his 17 years. Only ten.

There hadn’t been one since before The Prank.

What a stupid thing to call it, Remus thought.

It hadn’t been funny, or harmless. Whatever mischief Snape had wanted to cause wasn’t worth his death. James had stopped Snape from reaching the wolf. Sirius didn’t come, and neither did Peter.

It had been his first full moon alone in ages. The wolf had howled long and loud over that.

Sirius, who had never hidden from anything in his life, had hidden from Remus the entire day after his transformation. Remus had been hurt and disappointed when he woke up in the hospital wing to James sitting in the chair by his bed.

James had been furious.

“We’re sending you to Coventry,” James had hissed at Sirius when he slunk into the common room that night. He hadn’t even been at dinner.

Sirius, looking even further crestfallen, had watched James turn on his heel, and march up to the dormitory. For the rest of the school term, neither James nor Peter would speak to Sirius, or look at him, or even acknowledge his existence in any way. If they had known how deeply it cut him, they would never have done it. But Sirius bore his punishment stoically, falling back on the lessons he’d learned in early childhood to avoid further punishment at his mother’s hand.

Sirius had been slightly ecstatic when Remus, on the other hand, had been furious with him and told him so. They had it out over several nights in the dormitory alone together. James swore dust fell from the common room ceiling from all the magic and anger rolling off the pair of them overhead.

Sirius had been defensive and embarrassed, and hated himself for what he’d done. Remus had been torn between wanting to hold Sirius accountable for his actions, yet extending him the grace to be a person who was capable of learning from their cock-ups. Though, to be fair to himself, this was a pretty monumental cock-up.

“I’m sorry, Moony, I didn’t think—it’s just the Black coming out, the familial madness,” Sirius said, not daring to call it lunacy.

In their more tender moments after Sirius had confessed his feelings only weeks before, Sirius said it was the Black lunacy that drew him to Remus, to his Moony.

“Bollocks,” Remus said vehemently. “No Black would’ve exacted any kind of revenge in such a careless way. They’re all Slytherins—they’d never get caught. You’re lucky Dumbledore didn’t expel you.”

Sirius hummed thoughtfully. “That’s true. But this does fall under the heading of wanton destruction, at which the Blacks also excel. Seems I’ve done a lot of that, if James and Peter are anything to go by.”

“Well. They’ll come around.”

The Prank had taken place on June 1, the last full moon of the school year. The wolf had run alone all summer. Well. Not run—the shed was always unbearable after running free in the Forbidden Forest.

Sirius had written several plaintive letters to Remus over the summer. And Remus had answered them; curt at first. But as the summer wore on, Remus was better able to fill the pages. They wrote about it, because they had to.

I still don’t understand, Sirius. I don’t think I’ll ever understand. How can you love me, call me your friend, more than your friend, and betray me? And not just me, but the wolf as well? And for what? If it had worked, and Snape had been injured, or died, or turned…I could’ve been arrested. Or worse, Sirius.

What if I had been sent to Azkaban? What if I had been kissed? Or, what if the Ministry had decided to not even extend me that courtesy. What if the Ministry had decided to exterminate me?

It’s absurd, Sirius. I’ll never really believe you did it. It feels imaginary; like this was some half-hearted attempt to establish a secondary character’s motive in a children’s novel…it makes no sense. Believe me, I know, having read a lot of novels.

I’ll see you on the platform the day after tomorrow.

The train ride had been a bit frosty. Remus knew that Peter hadn’t responded to any of Sirius’s letters, but had written to James and Remus. Peter was excellent at holding a grudge.

Remus also knew that Sirius and James had reestablished their comradery after an impromptu fistfight in the back garden two nights after they got home. Their battle resulted in a black eye apiece, a broken pinky, a cracked metatarsal, and various bruises to their arms, backs and stomachs. Sirius even had a bite on his tricep.

Fleamont had broken it up, whisked them into the greenhouse, and episkied them without comment. After a few silent moments—the boys looking and feeling foolish, and Fleamont’s eyebrows furrowed in consternation—he warned them against mentioning any of it to Euphemia. Luckily, she hadn’t seen any of it, having gone into the living room before the fight broke out.

“…unless you wanted an hours-long lecture on the immorality of violence as a problem-solving technique,” Fleamont had said, eyebrows still drawn together. “Though it might do you some good to hear it.”

James and Sirius had also established an armed neutrality regarding Snape: James was determined that they should ignore Snape this year, no matter what he did.

Sirius had agreed because he loved his friends more than he hated Snape.

Sirius still looked slightly ashamed as they met Remus on the platform. But Remus had smiled, and had been kind during their train ride. They had shared snacks from the trolley and talked about their upcoming NEWTS, and placed their annuals bets on the question of Lily going out with James.

Remus had held Sirius’s hand as they sat in the horseless carriage together, and Sirius’s usually ramrod straight posture wilted with relief; he might have cried, if it had not been for James and Peter’s presence.

The welcome feast was delicious as usual. Remus caught Lily looking sideways at James a few times, and felt good about his odds of winning the pot.

They had unpacked after, and spent time together in the common room. Sirius had managed to get a weak laugh out of Peter. At midnight, when James and Peter were snoring, Sirius parted Remus’s bed curtains.

“Come on, then,” Remus scooted over to let Sirius in. Sirius needed the comfort and the absolution of Remus’s arms.

As was their custom, Sirius still whispered “Good night, I love you,” and now added that he was so very sorry. Remus wished he didn’t have to add the second part, but he did.

“I love you, too,” Remus said.

Then Sirius cried, smothering his sobs with the pillow, and with Remus’s mouth as he kissed him. Sirius apologized over and over. And Remus, who loved Sirius more than he had ever loved anyone, cried, too, and caressed Sirius’s hair, and they kissed so gently over and over.

“This year will have to be different,” Remus whispered between kisses. “You can’t just say that you’re sorry. You’ll have to live it, too. It’s time to grow up, dauphin.”

Sirius could only nod desperately, as he took off their clothes because he needed the warmth of Remus’s skin. He fell asleep under Remus’s arm, with his face pressed to Remus’s rib cage, his fingers curled over Remus’s hipbone, his leg hooked over Remus’s legs.

The next morning, Sirius sent Snape to Coventry, and found that life was more relaxed and enjoyable when Severus Snape didn’t exist. Sirius began to accompany Remus to the library for homework, and had even remained awake during Arithmancy lectures.

Soon, their first full moon rose, and Remus was more himself than the wolf for a short during the penumbral lunar eclipse.

If Remus had brooded over the summer, the wolf had not. The minute the wolf emerged fully and sensed its companions, it headed to the usual play spots in the Forbidden Forest, choosing to run to the dell furthest away. The wolf was happy.

The transformation had been more mild than usual because of the eclipse and when Remus awoke, Sirius was tucked under his arm in the hospital wing bed, which Sirius had charmed larger to accommodate himself. Madame Pomphrey had stopped fighting that battle in their 5th year.

“Morning. Feeling all right?” Sirius asked.

“Yes, just fine,” Remus said, leaning into Sirius’s hand that gently touching his curls.

#10daysofhealing #wolfstarcomfortminifest

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marlmckitten · 4 years

Text

That’s the Difference

// unedited, I apologize. Clearly taken from an episode of FRIENDS. If you know how the episode goes, then you know how this story goes.

Sirius Black, the bachelor. The single bad boy who had no intentions of doing anything serious, {excuse the pun,) somehow had come to a point in his life where he had two women. Who he loved.

The first was the blonde bombshell, Marlene McKinnon. He had been fawning over her for years. Something about her drew him to her, but he never thought she was interested. Mainly due to the fact that they had been very close friends and she had never showed any. Her best friend was Lily Evans, and his was James Potter. And ever since they had gotten together, the rest were forced together. Marlene and Sirius had a complex relationship before that, filled with insults and teasing. But once they set that aside they quickly became friends. Friends who very much enjoyed insulting one another. And perhaps friends that would occasionally wind up drunk in the others bed.

Only recently did that stop. When Sirius’ parents had found a match for him. A pureblood to marry, one that they approved of- and that miraculously was not already related to them. (Not directly at least.) But what was even more astonishing was that Sirius liked her. He really really liked her. He would go as far to say that he /loved/ her.

She was beautiful, funny, witty, and hated her parents. She wanted nothing more but to leave their house forever but she had a younger sister that she was afraid to leave behind. A situation that Sirius knew all too well. They bonded fast, once they realized how similar their lives were. They made a pact that if their parents made them marry, then they would oblige, and as soon as both their siblings were old enough to get out of their parents houses and fight for themselves, they would go down as the first pureblood match to adopt in a squib or muggle or muggleborn or anyone NOT pureblood and ensure to not pass down any of their learnings to their kids. Maybe even fight against hte pureblood supremists that were rising. Travel the world. Her name was Julie Wilson and they were going to have the life they never thought possible.

There was one catch in their plan.

Marlene McKinnon.

The woman who set Sirius’ heart on fire. The woman who he would move mountains for. The woman he always thought was too good for him. They were nothing but friends with benefits. Marlene had made that clear herself. She said he was a good shag but nothing more. She went on dating and between boyfriends would find herself back in Sirius’ bed for a night or two. That was all. And even with that, it changed his world.

But, she was too good for him. It was never going to happen.

He thought.

But seeing Julie and Sirius so happy together apparently had struck something in the gorgeous blonde. She had approached him just the night before and told him that she was in love with him.

His mind exploded, his heart sank and he couldn’t move. He couldn’t talk. His only response was, “Julie.” Marlene nodded sadly and told him that she understood but thought she should say something now before it was too late. But he grabbed her before she stepped out, asking for 24 hours to think things through. To his own surprise, she agreed.

Now he was in James Potter’s kitchen with his best friends pacing back and forth explaining his predicament. He was sweating. Sirius Black was swearing in anxiety. This was a side he never knew he had and never wished to revisit.

“Make a list,” Remus suggested, “Write down all the things you love about both of them, I find writing things down helps me.”

Sirius rolled his eyes.

But James picked up a quill, “You only got a day mate, let’s try it.” Pulling out some parchment he put both girls name on the top and underlined them. “What have you got?”

Desperate for anything, Sirius shrugged, “Well there’s Julie and Marlene.”

“We know that part,” Peter giggled. “Let’s start with what you don’t like! It’ll be more fun.”

Remus spoke up, “Wouldn’t the good-”

"No, he’s right. They’ll be more fun and faster. He could name what he likes about both girls pretty much forever,” he didn’t say it in an annoyed way. He just knew what he sounded like when he talked about Lily. Although there wasn’t a single negative thing he could come up for her. “Whoever has less bad is the one for you.”

Remus tried again, “That doesn’t sound like a great-”

“Marlene isn’t very good at magic or school.” Peter started straight away.

James jotted down, ‘not smart.’

Remus sighed but Sirius went along with it, “That’s true. She also cares more about how she looks than Julie does.”

James wrote, ‘shallow.’ “This is great, keep going.”

Sirius ran his fingers through his hair, “I don’t know, I can have these long talks about everything with Julie. She understands what I’ve been through and Marlene is just... She doesn’t get it.”

James wrote, ‘half-blood- doesn’t get things.’

Caving in, Remus went next, “She drinks a lot, when you two are together you drink more.”

James laughed and wrote, ‘future alcoholic.’ Looking up at the time he realized it was later than he thought. Lily was coming over for dinner and would be here soon. He looked at Sirius still thinking and decided to speed things along, “Alright so what about Julie?”

Everyone went quiet, they didn’t know Julie as well as Sirius did. They barely knew her at all. Sirius did not have anything to say either. James was about to say he had his answer there when his lips finally opened, “She’s- she’s not Marlene.”

His words made James forget about Lily. He looked at his best friend, dropped the quill and went over to Sirius, “She’s Marlene. You’re Sirius. I think you know what to do.”

Sirius’ eyes lit up, “You’re right, I am /serious./” Everyone moaned but Sirius skipped out of the room. James rushed everyone else out just before Lily came over and excitedly told Lily all about what was about to happen. As soon as he was done breaking Julie’s heart, Marlene and Sirius would finally be a real thing.

And the rest of the evening went without incident. James had a lovely night with Lily, he made her a fantastic dinner, only using muggle techniques. She guessed that Remus helped since there were no fires and sheepishly James admitted that she was right. But the gesture was still appreciated and James could not stop smiling into the night and even bright and early the next morning. He got to wake up to the most beautiful sight he had ever seen in his life. A sleeping Lily Evans, in his shirt and in his arms and his bed. He kissed her lightly before sneaking downstairs to make her breakfast. What he wasn’t expecting was Marlene walking in the front door just as he started cooking the eggs. (This time with magic.)

“Marlene?” He asked confused, “What are you doing here?”

She let out a small smile, “I just was erm... wondering if... Lily... was here?”

His brows raised, “SIRIUS isn’t here.”

She faltered, “That’s not what I asked.”

James couldn’t keep his mouth shut, he was about to say that Sirius was just breaking up with Julie but the door opened again and it was the young Black himself. James dropped the full egg onto the frying pan but grinned, running upstairs to wake his girlfriend with something much better than just breakfast.

By the time they returned downstairs however, it did not sound like a new couple just getting together. James wouldn’t have been mad if he walked in to them having sex on his counter top- and honestly it was sort of what he was expecting from these two.

But when James realized what was in Marlene’s hands his heart dropped. Lily asked what was happening but Marlene answered for him.

“Not smart? Shallow?” She started, her voice shaking as she read.

“No, no- that’s not what it looks like,” Sirius pleaded, looking over to James, “That’s not even what I SAID.”

“Oh so you DID say these things?” Marlene cut back, eyes looking back to the paper. “Half-blood, doesn’t get things? FUTURE ALCOHOLIC?!”

Sirius looked to James and James wished he could disappear. “No- Marls just listen.”

“LISTEN TO WHAT?!”

Sirius was lost for words, James piped up, “But look at Julie’s side!”

She did, it was empty, “Nothing. There’s nothing,” she passed the sheet to her own best friend who looked at it disgusted and hit James’ shoulder hard. James cursed at himself, he hadn’t gotten around to actually WRITING what Sirius had said.

Sirius’ voice dropped lower, “It was suppose to say ‘not Marlene’ because she’s not you and you’re per-”

“I am not smart, shallow, and only a half-blood according to you.” For the first time in his life, Sirius could see real tears forming in Marlene’s eyes. His heart broke and he tried reaching out for her, but she pushed him away. “I can’t believe- I can’t even believe!”

“I know,” Sirius decided fighting wasn’t going to help. He had to apologize, he needed her to know that he loved her. “I’m sorry, I love you. I love you so so much Marlene McKinnon. I love you so much that I broke up with Julie for you. My family will never speak to me again and-”

“Well that doesn’t matter to me because I’m just a half-blood who wouldn’t understand.”

"No, that wasn’t suppose to even- It doesn’t matter!”

“IT DOESN’T MATTER?!” She shrieked out. “Just imagine for a minute that someone that you loved and trusted made a list of reasons not to be with you.”

“I shouldn-”

“Then used that list,” Marlene continued, holding back tears, “For reasons NOT to be with you.”

It went silent, they could hear Lily and James breathing from the corner where they stood perfectly still, witnessing their best friends hearts break, but with no way to stop it.

“Even if you did,” Sirius said gently, “I would forgive you for it, because I love you.”

“Well, I guess that’s the difference between you and me,” Marlene finally replied, exasperated, her hands were by her side and her eyes were so fuzzy she couldn’t see, she took a few steps closer to Sirius, “I would never make a list,” she finished, reaching behind Sirius and opening the door to leave.

Sirius did not chase after her. He knew that he couldn’t. He had messed up. And messed up badly. He looked to James, he wasn’t even mad. She was right. He had made a list, he had made those points and if it hurt her, then he was in the wrong.

His chest heavy, he waved to James and Lily and walked further into the house, he knew his way around, he knew where the spare bedroom is. The room Mr and Mrs Potter had said he could live in if he ever needed a place to stay. And after breaking up with Julie, he ruined his last chance with them. There was no where else to go. And there was no more Marlene. Maybe he was just a screw-up like his parents had always told him.

#blackinnon #jily #harry potter #fanfiction #harry potter fanfiction #sirius black #marlene mckinnon #FRIENDS #Lily Evans #James Potter #Remus Lupin #peter pettigrew #harry potter marauders

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cottonpadenthusiast · 5 years

Note

Fake dating 5 for Wolfstar?

Sooo I may have gotten a little carried away and made this a spy au and instead of fake-dating, they are fake-married lmao. I hope you still enjoy it tho and thank you so much for this ask. I loved writing it so much!

“Mr Black, your mission is highly sensitive. It could lead to the capture of one of the most notorious criminals of our time. Tom Riddle will stop at nothing to destroy this country and you’re telling me you won’t help bring his downfall because you refuse to work with a partner?”

Sirius sighed, running a hand through his long, black hair. When he had entered espionage, he hadn’t thought meetings with his boss would be the hard part.

“Dumbledore, I’m still willing to work on this mission. However, I’m not willing to work with a partner. Sirius Black works alone. I’m a good spy and I don’t need someone who will simply get in the way!”

“I’ll make it simple for you, Mr Black,” Dumbledore stated, sitting behind his glass desk. “If you will not work with a partner, then this mission is being taken off you.”

“What?! But I’ve been working on this for months. This is completely-”

A loud knock on the door cut him off and the two men turned. Sirius unconsciously placed his hand on his gun as the doors made a beeping sound and swung open.

“Sirius, this will be your new partner,” Dumbledore said, as a tall, handsome man in a black suit entered.

His tawny curls were pushed gently from his freckled face, and his hazel eyes studied the room carefully. Unlike most spies, he didn’t seem to ooze confidence or charisma, yet his presence was quietly commanding. Sirius immediately knew this man was precise and calculative, not to messed with.

He also knew that this man was the most gorgeous human being he had ever seen.

The man stopped in front of him and offered his hand. Sirius decided in that moment that having a partner would be much better than losing his mission.

He took the hand.

“The name’s Lupin,” the man said, eyes intense and a smirk toying on his lips. “Remus Lupin.��

Sirius glanced at his phone under the table, the laughs and chatter from those around him filling the room.

Riddle’s voice boomed over them all, his words always filled with something more, something cruel. Sirius hated him. Jack Lynch, Sirius’ cover, loved him. Sirius had slowly made his way up Riddle’s ranks these past three months and had finally entered his inner circle. Jack Lynch was a trusted member of Riddle’s pack and soon the time would come to use that trust to destroy him.

“Excuse me, sir. May I leave the room to speak to my husband?” All heads turned to Sirius at his question. A deathly silence came over the room as they waited for Riddle’s answer.

“Why does he wish to speak with you, Lynch?”

“I don’t know, sir. But I know he has been more worried about me since the fight.”

The fight that had proven Sirius’ loyalty to Riddle when he had protected him. The fight that had left dark bruises on Sirius’ face.

Riddle studied Sirius, the whole room completely still, until a small twisted grin grew on his lips. “You may go, Lynch but tell your husband I won’t let anything happen to his precious lover. He doesn’t need to worry. And you must be back in fifteen minutes for the meeting.”

Sirius masked his relief with a smile. “Thank you, sir.”

He got up from his seat and left the room, making his way quickly through the endless corridors in the Manor, until he was outside. He saw Remus’ tall form hidden under a tree, his face masked in the darkness of the night.

“Hello, my dear husband,” Sirius drawled as he made his way towards Remus, noticing how the other man tensed before noticing who it was.

“You really don’t need to call me that. No one is here,” Remus said, a small smile on his lips.

Sirius leaned back against the tree.“But darling, you’re my husband-who-is-actually-my-spy-partner-who-makes-all-my-cool-devices.”

Remus rolled his eyes. They had been working undercover for the past three months, Remus pretending to be Sirius’ needy husband so that they could exchange information and Remus could deliver equipment. Sometimes Sirius allowed himself to pretend that Remus really was in love with him. Sometimes, Sirius longed for these brief meetings so much that he felt he would drown in his want.

Sometimes the thought of Remus’ bright smile and soft eyes was the only thing that kept Sirius going.

“Your eye,” Remus said softly, reaching out to lightly touch Sirius’ bruised skin. The worry in the hazel eyes had Sirius’ breath hitching and Remus’ touch sent shivers down his spine.

“I’m fine. Only a bruise. I’ve had much worse.”

Remus frowned, his finger delicately tracing the purple bruise. “You should be more careful.”

“I will.”

They gazed at each for a long moment. Sirius wanted desperately to lean into the soft touch, to press Remus’ palm against his lips, but the moment was broken when Remus’ hand dropped.

Sirius found himself yearning for Remus’ warm hand on his face again.

Remus coughed, stepping back slightly. “So, any new information?”

“Well, I’ve heard from a few sources that Riddle plans to-”

Sirius was cut off by Remus shoving him against the tree, his eyes wide and alert.

“They’re coming. Hurry up and kiss me!”

Sirius had little time to process the demand, before soft lips were being pressed against his and strong hands were gripping his hips. Quick instincts had Sirius kissing back, his heart exploding in his chest while his hands raked through Remus’ curls.

Sirius registered a number of footsteps passing by, guards probably, as Remus kissed him hard and quickly. Sirius hoped the racing of Remus’ heart underneath his fingertips had nothing to do with the fear of being caught.

As the footsteps drew further and further away, Sirius braced himself for Remus to pull away. But he didn’t.

Instead, Remus opened his mouth for Sirius to deepen the kiss and soon Sirius had learnt that Remus’ mouth tasted of chocolate and coffee and that the sounds that came from Remus’ throat made his knees weak.

So, it was all too soon when Remus suddenly pulled away, his eyes wide and hair sticking up in all directions. The guards were long gone at this stage.

“We- we can’t do this! It could jeopardise the mission.”

“Remus.”

“It could ruin everything. We could get fired!”

“Remus.”

“Sirius, it’s completely unprofessional and wrong and-”

“Remus!”

The other man stopped, yet Sirius could see the distress in his eyes. He reached up and placed a hand on Remus’ cheek, rubbing gently with his thumb.

“Does this feel wrong?” He whispered, gazing into the hazel eyes.

“…no. No, but-”

“Does this feel wrong?” Sirius began pressing small, light kisses to Remus’ neck.

Remus’ eyes fluttered shut above him. “No.”

Sirius reached up, so that his lips were just touching Remus’. He felt Remus’ breath hitch.

“What about this?”

“No,” Remus breathed out, before kissing Sirius again and Sirius kissed back. And this time, there was no guards around. This time, Sirius knew the rapid pace of both their hearts had nothing to do with fear and everything to do with love.

Maybe Dumbledore had been right. Maybe Sirius Black did work well with a partner.

Especially if that partner was Remus Lupin.

#wolfstar #sirius black #remus lupin #remus x sirius #wolfstar fic #my writing #my fic #spy au #prompt

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sissytobitch10seconds · 4 years

Note

hello I saw your ao3 story and was wondering if you were taking requests. If so can we please have an angsty abo one where remus dates severus but is only using him to make sirius jealous, sirius finds out and sends him to wolf remus. Severus is rescued, but is upset with boyfriend and hurt. Sirius and Remus get together and Severus is upset because Remus and him haven't broken up yet and also Severus is pregnant.

Sorry, it took me so long to get this out! I had a little bit of writer’s block and then it turned out to be way longer than I originally thought it would be. Hope you like it! Also, this is up on Archive!

Anger rolled in my gut as he tried to focus down on the book in my hands. I had been on the same page for more than five minutes, which was longer than it would take me to read and process at least a chapter of this particular novel. It didn’t bother me too much since I knew that the book was just there so that I could try and block out the obnoxious giggling coming from the other side of the common room. The Gryffindor common room was normally filled with people talking and laughing, but this particular giggle was driving me up the wall.

Sirius had some omega perched on his lap. Her skirt was pulled up high around her waist and folded over enough times that it barely covered her thighs, nothing even remotely in the dress-code of the school. She had her arm around his shoulders and was leaning back against the window while putting her legs out as she pretended to fall back. He had his nose in her scent gland, which wasn’t covered by the required scent blocker so that things like this wouldn’t happen.

Just the thought of it in more depth than before made me grit my teeth while trying not to shout at them. This wasn’t the first omega or beta that Sirius had brought back to the dormitory this week, and she wouldn’t be the last no matter what she thought. I hated seeing the man that I desired moving from bitch to bitch just to get some quick fix.

If I didn’t have the self-control I would give in to every stereotype that was branded onto werewolves and make sure that they weren’t able to put their arms around anyone like that ever again.

Finally, I decided that I had had enough of watching Sirius flirt with some bimbo. I slammed my book shut and stood up. I made sure that he saw the sharp glare that I shot his way before I stalked out of the dormitory altogether

The hallways were relatively empty since it was a fair way into the afternoon already. A lot of the students that would normally be crowding around as they drifted from place to place had settled down before dinner time came around.

I turned down endless halls and walked quickly past dozens and dozens of rooms before I finally got to my desired location. I pressed my hand against the door and opened it so that I could escape out of the castle and more importantly, get further away from Sirius and his most recent affair.

The frigid air made the red hot anger inside of me subside just a bit, though it still boiled in the pit of my stomach. I walked through the courtyard and then under one of the arches so that I could get to the wider grounds. I headed toward my favorite tree to sit and read under, thinking that I may be able to get some alone time to mull over my emotions.

When I arrived, I found that I would not be alone underneath the willow tree on this current evening. Two students sat underneath the swaying branches of the old growth tree, chattering to each other in light voices that implied that the conversation wasn’t too serious. I walked closer to them and was able to spot Lily’s bright red hair among the startling white of the hoar frost clinging to the trees and mountains of snow piled on the ground. The other omega was a mystery to me until I drew a bit closer and was able to hear his voice.

“Remus!” Lily beamed, bright, and beautiful as always. Despite not being drawn to omegas like alphas were, I was able to appreciate how stunning she was.

“I was hoping that I would get a quieter place to read, but it appears that I’m out of luck,” he chuckled as my eyes strayed over to Severus.

The dark-haired omega was staring down at his hands, which were picking at the loose strands of string that had come up from the blanket they were seated on. For as much as the other three members of my group teased him for his appearance, he wasn’t actually too bad looking. His hair hid his alabaster face, hanging in sheets over his high cheekbones and gaunt eyes. The dark orbs seemed to hide a knowledge that none of them could even dream of beholding.

“We can-” Severus began but his friend quickly cut him off.

“Why don’t you join us? James is always telling me about how you don’t have many friends outside of the Marauders, perhaps you can start with us,” she chirped brightly.

“I do have friends outside of the Marauders, James just doesn’t consider people from other houses to be ‘proper friends,’ whatever that means,” I snorted. I took her offer and sat down closer to the Gryffindor omega than the Slytherin. I folded my legs underneath me and fiddled with the edges of the book in my hands. The anger that had been whirling through me earlier had turned to a dangerous resentment.

“He’s not the brightest,” Severus quipped before he realized what he had said and in the presence of whom and turned a bright shade of red. Luckily for him, I had had a run-in with James the other day and wasn’t too pleased with that alpha either. I let out a small chuckle, a smile crossing my features for a moment.

“Come on, Sev,” Lily whined, pouting at her friend. “You’re so mean to him. At least we’ve been dating longer than you and that weirdo did,” she snorted.

“You’ve dated someone?” I asked, trying as hard as possible to make sure that my voice is level so it doesn’t sound too surprised.

“Don’t act like I’m so repulsive no one would ever look at me,” he grumbled. He wrapped a string around his fingers and pulled it from the rest of the fibers with nimble and graceful fingers

“I didn’t mean to. You just don’t seem to be the type of person who would… date,” I said slowly.

“Well, I am. Not that it lasted long,” his dark eyes darted away from his two companions, staring out at the rolling hills that led down to the tossing grey water of the lake.

“He was an ass, Sev,” Lily said softly as she reached one of her hands out to the omega.

I took in the situation with an uncharacteristically cold calculation. Of course, I had been known to be the smarter one in my direct friend group, but I still had more compassion than the common werewolf. Now, however, wheels whirled in my head and cogs turned quickly as I devised a truly wicked and cruel plan. The normal compassion that I held for all people and animals fled out of my mind as thoughts of revenge and jealousy took their place.

“Who was it that you were dating?” I asked the omega, hoping to get the answer that I wanted so that my plan would advance further.

“Oh, just some Slytherin upperclassman. You wouldn’t know who it is if I said a name,” he said quickly. His pale cheeks flushed once more and he avoided looking up at me or Lily.

“I know more people than James does, I think I would know who it was,” I laughed. To my delight, the heavy amounts of charm that I was laying on seemed to be working and he smiled and laughed.

The three of us sat and chatted for a bit longer, moving from dating when Lily got a little too excited and flustered about James. We discussed what the teachers had been assigning and the best way to go about finishing the assignments. When the conversation petered out for a moment, Lily decided that she had to go see her boyfriend and left me alone with Severus.

“I guess I should be going as well,” the omega mumbled as he wrapped his robes a bit closer around him and began to get up.

“Why?” I asked.

“Well, you don’t want to talk to me, you wanted to talk to Lily,” he said simply.

“I never said that,” I replied quickly. Annoyance sparked in the back of my mind and solidified my ideas that I had to get back at Sirius.

“I-I guess I just assumed…” he trailed off as he sunk down into himself like expecting to get hurt in some way.

“I would like to get to know you, Severus,” I said as I offered him a small smile. “If Lily and James are really going to do whatever they’re doing, then I think that you and I will be seeing a lot more of each other.”

“I suppose so,” he replied with a shrug.

“Plus, when you and I were talking with Lily here you seemed like a good conversationalist,” I smiled a little wider. I continued to talk with him like I had when Lily was there, and after a bit of time he finally relaxed and opened back up to me. We spent the rest of the afternoon together, just chatting about school and how things differed in our lives.

When we reached the end of the time we could spend outside, I finally decided that it was time to enact the next part of my plan. It could have been too soon and it was possible that he would turn me down, but from what I could pick up from the short conversation about his ex, he was desperate for love and still vulnerable from the breakup. Everyone had a rebound, so he wouldn’t expect the relationship I would start up with him to go anywhere, would he? I turned to him and asked, “Severus, would you like to go out with me the next Hogsmead weekend we get?”

“I-what?” he stuttered as he picked up the blanket and shook the snow off of it.

“As a date. I realized that I liked you more than I originally thought, so I would like to spend some more time with you. Romantically,” I said, giving him a polite smile.

“I, yeah, okay,” he replied, his cheeks a near-violent shade of red as he nodded. The black sheets of his hair hung down against his face once more before he darted away and back toward the castle.

I smirked to myself as I followed slowly after him. My plan was already underway and soon would be enough into action that I could move it to phase two.

---

“You’re a dog,” James snorted as we walked through the halls to get back to the dormitory. Classes had just ended, which separated us from the other two members of our immediate friend group since they had been assigned a different teacher during the last period of the day.

“I mean, yeah,” I snorted slightly and knocked my shoulder against his.

“Not like that, you git,” he snorted, batting a hand at my shoulder. I laughed back. “I meant that you’ve probably banged every age-acceptable omega and beta in this place other than Lily and Remus.”

“Ah yes,” I sighed. I had been joyous and laughing moments before but the comment made my heart sink down into my stomach.

“What? Did you want to bang Lily?” James asked, his voice had a bit of a feral bite to it.

“No, I didn’t want your courting partner,” I sighed with a slight roll of my eyes. James was just the kind of protective alpha that I seemed to be the opposite of. He defended Lily at all costs and would growl at anyone that made any kind of glancing look or snide remark about her. I tended to go the other way when it came to my partners. While Lily was the first omega or beta that James had ever courted, I had slept with more than I could count. I also didn’t really care what my past partners did once our time together was over. They were just a way to get rid of the thundering instincts pounding in the back of my mind.

“Then what do you want?” he asked curiously.

“Something that I can never have,” I frowned heavily.

“Why are you being so vague? We’ve been friends for as long as we’ve been going to Hogwarts. Just tell me what’s on your mind,” James replied simply as if anything could ever be that easy.

“I can’t tell you because I know you would try and intervene,” I replied. “And I know that the person that I really want would never love me back.”

“That can’t be true. Everyone in this school loves you and lots of people from elsewhere do too,” he grinned wickedly.

“Everyone except my parents,” I snorted, trying to make light of the situation with a joke that we had made a multitude of times beforehand. It worked and the other alpha laughed, snickering when he got a couple glares for the loud chuckles he had let out in the beginning.

He rounded the corner to get closer to the dorms, an area that had basically no one since most of the other Gryffindors had planned a meet up in the library to study things. The entire house had done so or decided that they would use the time to sneak away with their partners and do things that would make the teachers faint.

I stopped dead in my tracks, as did James as we looked down the hall. Remus had someone else pinned up against the wall, his hands roaming up and down omegan thighs and groping an ass. Their hands were threaded into his brown locks and holding his shoulders as small moans were released from the partner that my best mate was snogging.

“Is that Snivilus?” James finally blurted after we had been standing there for at least a couple of minutes.

“Fuck,” Remus swore from down the hall. He dropped the omega that he had been kissing and whirled around to see both of his alpha friends. “I thought you two would be… out.”

“Well, we’re not,” I replied through clenched teeth. Anger, jealousy, and concoction of other emotions I couldn’t place stirred together inside of me. I had the urge to go up and tear the omega’s throat out for daring to touch someone that was so clearly mine. I walked past them quickly, growling the password at the Fat Lady before I slammed the painting behind me in my hurry to get into the common room.

I threw my book bag down onto the table like it had been the one to offend me instead of the greasy Slytherin that my beta was apparently dating. I growled, running a hand through my wild brown locks before I began to pace around the red-colored room.

“I think that that was a bit of an overreaction,” James said as he walked into the common room and stood back to watch me.

“An overreaction?” I snapped as I turned to him. “He had his tongue down that whore’s throat and he didn’t even tell us that he was courting anyone.”

“Would you just shut up and listen for a minute?” James asked as he rolled his eyes in annoyance at me.

“Fine,” he growled darkly. I crossed my arms over my chest as stalked over to a seat, sitting down so that I could look at the alpha as he explained himself and the situation.

“If you hadn’t stormed in here in a fit of alpha rage that would rival my own, then you would have been around for Remus to explain what’s going on,” the other alpha said as he sat down in another chair so that they were at equal levels. “He and Sni-Severus have been dating for a while. Apparently, they got together some time in November. Remus didn’t want to tell us that he was courting or dating anyone because he thought that we would react badly when we found that it was Severus.”

“He’s been dating him for three months? If he had told us I would have been able to explain how stupid it is to be dating that Slytherin grease ball when there are perfectly good alphas that have been waiting for him for years,” I rambled.

“Wait…” James said, narrowing his dark eyes at me behind his thick spectacles. I could almost hear the turning on the cogs in his head as he riddled out my situation. “Are you jealous that Remus started dating before you grew the balls to ask him out?”

“No,” I replied stubbornly. The other alpha tilted his head so that he was looking at me over the top of the round rims. “Fine, I am.”

“Then you should wait until you’ve calmed down, and go talk to him,” he replied with a shrug.

“Lily is a bad influence on you. I miss the days when you would suggest pranking him instead,” I grumbled, though at this point I was just trying to prove a point.

“We can always prank him later. And there is the shovel talk,” James replied with a bright grin.

“Yeah, you’re right,” I replied with a definitive nod.

“Woah,” Peter groaned as he walked into the common room. He placed a hand over his nose to try and drown out the angry alpha scent that had leaked through my scent blocker when I had been pacing around. “What happened here? I thought that sex was banned in the common room.”

“Is this what you think sex smells like?” James asked as he turned to face the other member of our friend group.

“Yes?” he replied, though there was more question than statement to his tone.

“Wouldn’t there also have to be an omega or beta involved?” I snorted as I rubbed a hand over my face.

“I-I guess,” the dirty-blond beta sighed as he walked over to them and placed his bag on the floor. He tucked his feet underneath him as he sat down and pulled a bag of sweets from his pocket.

“Anyways,” I sighed, turning back to the other alpha. “We need to go give him the shovel talk right now. Especially if he and Remus have been dating for longer than we thought.”

“Remus is dating someone?” Peter asked, flabbergasted at the new revelation.

“This is a new thing. Apparently, he didn’t want us to know so that we wouldn’t bully his boyfriend,” James laughed.

“Oops. Now we all know,” I replied, though there was more snark and bite to my voice than there really should have been for the situation.

“Whatever. We should talk to Remus and get more of the story at dinner and then we can discuss the shovel talk,” James said. He reached down for his bag and pulled out a couple rolls of parchment and his textbook. He began to work on the homework that we had been assigned that day. Lily really had been rubbing off on him too much.

Dinner came quickly and the three of us hurriedly finished up the work that we had either been doing or were pretending to do. I hurried down to the dining hall, but because I was hungry and because I was eager to interrogate Remus and move along so that I could threaten Snivellus as well.

“Dude,” James complained as he finally caught up with me and sat down across the table. Peter sat next to me and moments later Remus walked over after saying goodbye to the Slytherin omega he had been sucking faces with earlier.

“You’re all here early,” he commented as he began to serve himself some of the food that was closest to our group.

“Well, we have something important to talk to you about,” I replied, trying to keep my voice light and non-accusatory. I didn’t do a very good job of it judging by the expression on his face.

He looked up from the basket of bread in his hands and narrowed his dark eyes at me dangerously. “What is that supposed to mean?”

“Oh boy,” James sighed, picking at some of the vegetables on his plate. He leaned on his hand where it was perched with his elbow planted next to his plate on the table.

“You were dating someone for three months without telling us? We’re supposed to be friends, Remus,” I bit out, leaving out the possessive jealousy I was feeling.

“I don’t think that it’s that big of a deal,” Peter mumbled.

“Peter’s right. It’s not that big of a deal. I technically don’t have to tell you who I’m spending my time with or what kind of relationship we have friends or not. I don’t comment on all the time you spend with those omegas and betas you bring to the common room,” he replied as he stabbed his fork viciously into some of the food on his plate.

I swallowed a bit too quickly in my hurry to snap back at him and hurt my throat. This just turned to make my voice all the lower and gravely. “It’s not like I’m hiding them. Everyone knows that we’re together for however long we’re together for. I’m pretty sure no one knew about you and that grease ball of an omega.”

“Don’t start calling my boyfriend names just because you don’t like the fact that I’m dating him. If you spent more than five minutes using the stupid brain of your you might realize that bigger things are happening in the world than me finally dating someone,” Remus growled back.

“Do not start with that, Lupin,” I shot back quickly. “I know that we have the war to worry about and all of the people here that are already Death Eaters, but that should be all the more reason for us to tell each other the truth!”

“I didn’t want to tell you because you would act like this,” he gestured at me with both of his hands.

“Then how do you want me to act?” I asked.

“I don’t know,” he rolled his amber eyes. “Maybe ‘Good jobs Remus. Despite being an undesirable beta you managed to get someone to date you.’ Would that be too hard?”

“Fine, good job. You started dating our enemy,” I snarked back. I knew that the words hurt him and I immediately regretted saying them as they fell from my lips.

“He hasn’t been the enemy since James and Lily started dating six months ago,” Remus sighed.

I didn’t say anything I knew that the moment I opened my mouth again I would just be spitting more fire at him. I rose from the table and stalked out of the great hall, leaving the other three members of the Marauders alone. I quickly made my way out of the castle and had gone all the way down to the lake before I finally let myself breathe.

I raised my arms over my head, threading my fingers together as I pressed my palms to the back of my skull. I took a deep breath and closed my eyes, just letting the crisp March air into my lungs in a desperate attempt to try and calm down. I growled low as I saw the image of Remus with Sni-Severus in his arms like the omega belonged there. Remus belonged in my arms like that.

“Excuse me?” asked a voice from behind me.

I whirled around, already reaching for my wand as I thought that it was someone that meant harm to me.

“Woah,” Severus said, placing his arms in front of him with his palms towards me. “I just came out here to try and make the situation a little bit better.”

“How?” I asked, dropping my hand back down to my side and leaving my wand in the pocket of my robes.

“I don’t know,” he nervously shrugged. “Maybe apologize for all of the things that I’ve said about you?”

“Well, that would be a start. You did steal my best friend from me and convince him to hide a relationship from our entire friend group,” I sassed back. The omega flinched heavily and rubbed his arm nervously. I felt a bit bad for making him self-conscious, but I was boiling mad and there was no controlling my mouth now.

“I know…” Severus whispered. “He was the one that asked me out. And if it makes you feel any better he talks about you all the time,” he offered.”

“I guess so,” I grumbled. We both stood there in awkward silence for a few more moments before I felt the beginnings of a plan click their way into my mind. “So, how much do you think you know about Remus?”

“I- a lot, I guess,” he replied, brows furrowed together in confusion. “He’s told me about his mom and that his dad treats him pretty badly.”

“I see,” he nodded. “Well, he told me that he’s going to be at the Shrieking Shack tomorrow night around midnight and I think that if you really want to get to know him you should go there and meet him,” he smirked.

“That’s a really weird way of putting it,” Severus mumbled. “But thank you for accepting his and my relationship.”

I made an affirmative noise and pushed past him to go back to the dormitory in the Gryffindor tower. I gave him and Remus the same treatment for the next day, barely acknowledging them in the slightest and being hostile when I had to. I smiled as I leaned out of the tower window and watched the small figure of a student wrapped in a cloak quickly fleeing across the field and toward the Shrieking Shack.

“I still hate the days where Remus has to leave,” Peter pouted. We had taken to leaving after everyone had gone to bed, and if the full moon happened on a weekend it tended to take forever.

“Who’s that heading out already? We’re all here,” James said as he peaked over my shoulder.

“Oh, that’s Snivilus,” I replied with a wicked grin.

“What the Hell did you do?” he asked, growling darkly as the smell of angry alpha leaked out from the scent blocker on his neck.

“I just thought that if he was going to be dating one of our friends then he needed to know who he really was,” I replied with a shrug.

“He’s going to get himself killed you fucking idiot!” James swore as he rushed away from me and up the stairs to our dorm room. Peter was staring at me in horror and slowly the realization of what I had done began to sink in. Guilt ate at my stomach, making me regret how much I’d inhaled at dinner. Soon my best friend returned back with the invisibility cloak. He ushered both out of the common room and then flung it over us. Peter quickly focused and turned into a rat so that the cloak would cover us all fully.

“You’re so stupid,” James hissed. “I liked it better when you just had sex with some random omega or beta and didn’t care what they did in their spare time. This is so dangerous,” he lectured as he made our way through the halls until we had gotten outside. Peter pulled on my curly locks with his tiny claws, just adding to the pain that was already flowing through my body due to that part of me.

When we reached the Shrieking Shack, we used the invisibility cloak right up until the door. James then threw it off and shifted into his stag form, prompting me to turn into the giant black dog. We rushed through the house to find where Severus had gone. Peter was still clinging to my fur tightly as we rushed to Remus’s favorite room.

Severus was on the ground, scrambling to get back to a corner as Remus, in his wolf form, slowly stalked closer and closer. “Please, I don’t-” the omega panicked, holding his arm close to himself as his wrist was bent at an odd angle.

I barked and made sure that the noise was loud enough that I could draw the attention of my out-of-control friend. It worked, quickly bringing the wolf to look at me. James rushed into the room and bowed his head at Severus before ushering him toward the door with his horns. I growled at Remus, barking once more as I walked closer and closer to him to get him to back up into the corner and away from the door.

When I was sure that James had gotten Severus out of the house I let Remus out of his confinement and laid down next to the wall with my head on my paws. I closed my eyes and ignored everything for the rest of the night.

I only got up from my spot when I felt the sunlight drop down onto my snout, awakening me from the fitful slumber that I had fallen into. I shifted back into my human form as Remus would no longer be in his wolf form if the sun was out. I glanced around and saw the other teen huddled in the corner with a pair of damaged pants on with nothing else. I stood up and removed my cloak, placing it on the beta before I touched his shoulder.

“Go away,” he growled darkly.

“What?” I asked, momentarily forgetting that he could see flashes of what happened in his wolf form.

“You made him come here, I know you did,” he hissed as he jutted a finger at my chest. “He was terrified!”

“He needed to see all of you if he was going to date you,” I replied, catching the finger and holding it in my clenched fist.

“I was going to tell him in my own time!” Remus shouted.

“You’ve never told anyone about it before. We had to find out the same way,” I retorted quickly.

“Why do you even care what he thinks of me?” he snarled.

“Because I’m in love with you!” I roared, anger and frustration soaring through me in a quick flash.

Remus shut down and removed his finger from my hands. He turned the full way and stared at me with confusion written all over his features. He blinked twice at me. “What?”

“I love you. The only reason that I slept with so many of the people around the school was so that I could fill the hole that you were leaving. You never showed any desire to date anyone so I assumed that you’d be one of the people to go work with dragons…” I rambled.

“I-I loved you too,” he stuttered, looking up at me with those caramel eyes. “I mean, I still do.”

“Then why go and date someone else when I’m right here?” I asked quietly.

“Because you were never right here. You were always with someone else and I knew that I wanted something from you that you hadn’t given anyone else. If something is going to happen between us then I need all of you to be here for me. I don’t want some fuck and abandon. I want you,” he rambled nervously.

“Then have me. I’m willing to dedicate that much of myself to you,” I promised as I reached out for his hand. He complied and placed his hand into mine. I gripped it tightly and brought him close to me, pressing our lips together in a wonderful kiss.

---

I peaked my eyes open as the nightmare stuck heavily to my eyelids. The sunlight was pouring through the uncovered glass in the windows, casting sunbeams down to the floor in a magnificent spectacle. I sat up on the bed and turned over so that I was leaning against the pillows behind me. I wasn’t used to waking up to the sun since the Slytherin common room and dorms didn’t get light and my room at home had windowless, drab walls. The hospital wing was covered in them however, most likely for the commonly held belief that sunlight could be beneficial for those suffering from illness and injury.

My wrist throbbed as a reminder of my own wounds. I had spent the night regrowing the bone chips that had shattered and been removed when I landed on it wrong. I winced and let out a truly omegan whine, something that I hated that I had no control over.

“You’re awake, well done,” Madame Pomfrey said in her normal sarcastic-saturated voice as she walked over to my bed. “How are you feeling?”

“Tired,” I replied, blinking slowly at the beta as she placed her hand on my cheek and my forehead. “And nauseous.”

“You shouldn’t be feeling nauseous from the Skelligrow, the tiredness is normal,” she tutted.

“I’ve been feeling nauseous for a week,” I mumbled.

“Suspicious. Have you had any other symptoms? Or vomiting?” she asked as she sat on the edge of the bed.

“I puked once a couple days ago but I figured that I had just gotten some potion in my system from my homework,” I said simply. The fixating stare she locked onto me made my skin crawl like a million spiders had taken up residence on my muscles.

“Anything else?”

“I suppose that I’ve been clingier to my partner?” I offered. The thought of Remus sent a shudder through my body as I remembered the terrifying creature that I had watched him turn into and then the way he had attacked me as if he didn’t know who I was.

“Now these questions may feel a little intrusive, but I do need to ask them,” she sighed. She got up from the bed and drew the curtains around the bed before casting a couple charms to make sure that no one would be able to hear the conversation.

I was suddenly more awake than I had been moments before as panic rushed from my stomach all throughout my body. I could feel the blood drain from my face and into my rapidly beating heart.

The healer took her place on the side of my bed and placed her cold hand on my leg through the thin hospital blanket that I had been given. “Are there any other peculiarities that you’ve noticed since the nausea began?” she asked.

“I guess so,” I replied with a shrug.

“I need you to tell me what they are,” she pried.

“I’ve been eating more than normal even though I’ve felt sick,” I shrugged. I wrapped my arms self-consciously around my middle as something deep inside of me told me to.

“Have you and this partner been sexually active?”

“I-uh, what?” I asked blood flooding to my face as quickly as it could to give me a dark blush.

“I assume that your partner is an alpha or a beta, and I need to know if you’ve been sexually active,” she continued.

“We’ve only slept together once. I know that it’s against the rules but we just got so caught up with each other that we didn’t really know what was happening and then we had already done it. Please don’t get him and me in trouble,” I pleaded desperately.

“Did you do it with protection?” she asked instead.

“I-no. We forgot to do any of the spells before or after because we nearly got caught,” I replied, letting shame replace the embarrassment from earlier as I bowed my head at her.

“You’re aware that you could be pregnant, correct?” she asked as she stood up and tugged the curtains closer together.

“I never thought about that. My mother and father had a hard time conceiving so I assumed that I wouldn’t be able to,” I replied. My heart began to hammer even harder in my chest, banging against my ribcage like it was trying to burst forth.

“I legally have to perform a test on you,” Madame Pomfrey winced as she grabbed her wand out of the overly full pockets on her apron.

“O-okay,” I replied shakily with a small nod.

She pressed me back against the pillows with one of her calloused hands. “Pull up your shirt for me, please,” she requested as she adjusted the hold of her wand in her hand. I did as I was told and pulled the fabric of my shirt over my stomach, revealing the pale skin there. She placed her wand over my stomach, holding it so that it was about an inch over the skin and the tip reached my hip while the hilt rested over the other. She murmured a couple of words under her breath, still speaking clearly while moving the wand down and then back up.

Slowly, a yellow glow emanated from my abdomen and up to the wand like a reverse spotlight.

“What does that mean?” I asked, my hands going down next to my sides to grasp at the sheets underneath me. Fear ebbed its way through my veins, filling up my entire person and consuming me.

“This means that you’re pregnant, Snape,” she whispered.

“I-I,” I stuttered out as tears welled up in my eyes. They sat on my lashes for a mere moment before they tipped over and rushed down my pale cheeks and then onto my neck. I quickly pushed my shirt down and sat up, ignoring the pain in my only slightly-healed wrist as I brought my hands up to my eyes to try and wipe away the tears. I felt a hand on my back, rubbing soothing circles as I sobbed while thoughts rushed through my head.

The last time that I had seen my boyfriend, and apparently the father of my unborn baby, he had tried to kill me. The cool determination in the wolf’s eyes made ice crawl through my veins. How could I tell Remus that I was carrying his pup when he had tried to kill me just the night before? I was aware that he had been hiding something from me but I had never expected it to be something like that or for me to find out through someone other than him. This was far too overwhelming for me to deal with at once.

“When was the time that you and this partner slept together?” the nurse asked as she raised an eyebrow.

“Uh, sometime around December or January,” I replied, rubbing my arm nervously.

“Then you should be around two or three months pregnant. You won’t start showing beyond the ability to hide it until your sixth month. Seeing as school ends in May, you should be able to hide the bump for the duration of the pregnancy until you graduate,” she rambled. I nodded as my way of conveying that I was listening to her.

“You will have the option to tell your parents until I inform the headmaster,” Madame Pomfrey said in her soothing tone as I finally stopped crying and calmed down. “I have to tell him in a week, so I suggest that you tell your parents and the father of the pup before then. Come and speak to me when you’ve decided what you want to do with him,” she gestured to my stomach before she got up and left.

I sat there in silence, trying to process everything that had happened that morning and the night before. I didn’t know how long I had been still when I finally came out of my stupor long enough to know that I should get going. I stood up from the bed and grabbed my robe from the chair next to the bed I had been set up in. I quickly covered myself and wrapped my arms around my stomach for a moment before I dropped my hands and then hurried out of the hospital wing and down to the Slytherin common room.

I darted into my dorm, which was thankfully empty, and changed out of my day-old clothes and into a pair of pajamas before ducking into the spare shower attached to the dorm room. When I was clean and dressed I picked up my school bag and left to go to my next class. I knew that the teachers probably wouldn’t be expecting me to come to any of my classes today since they were notified of my injury last night, but I was hoping that getting back on my routine would help me temporarily forget about the problem growing in my stomach.

The day flew by, with almost no one talking to me. Lily and James normally at least said hello but apparently, I seemed to be putting off some sort of scent that repelled everyone from me. I skipped lunch as it would be too much to go into the Great Hall and see Remus with his friends when I knew that I was pregnant with his child.

Someone finally talked to me for the first time since Madame Pomfrey that morning when I was outside, trying to complete the homework that had been assigned that day. I broke the wrist on the arm that I normally write with so the entire process was taking an annoyingly long time.

“Hey, Sev,” Lily’s calm voice cooed as she walked over to our normal hangout spot. “How are you doing?”

“My wrist hurts,” I replied with a small shrug. I wanted more than anything to tell her since I knew that she would make the situation either a thousand times better or worse.

“James told me what happened,” she said as she gracefully sat down next to me and rubbed my shoulder.

“Everything? Even the part about Remus?” I asked, glancing over at her with one eye as I let my hair fall down in front of my face.

“Yeah,” she nodded. She wrapped an arm around my shoulder and brought me into a half hug as she placed her head against mine softly. “I’m so sorry that that had to happen to you. That wasn’t something that Sirius should have done, jealousy or not.”

“He was jealous of me?” I asked, my heart sinking. I knew that Remus had feelings for Sirius, but I figured that they would fade the longer that we were together.

“Full-on alpha rage,” Lily nodded sadly.

I stayed silent for a moment before I took a deep breath and got ready to admit the truth. “When I was in the hospital wing for my wrist Madame Pomfrey got suspicious and had to do another test on me. It turns out…” I trailed off as my courage faltered.

“Please tell me that you’re not dying,” she pleaded as she took my hand and grasped it in hers.

“No, not dying. At least not yet,” I muttered sarcastically.

“Sev, please don’t joke about things like that right now,” she whined as she brushed a couple strands of hair out of my face.

“Madame Pomfrey performed a pregnancy test on me and it came back positive,” I rushed the words out as quickly as I could. A frigid feeling of dread settled over me as I waited to lose my best friend and be truly alone in the world once more. My parents wouldn’t care much about the pregnancy and would just use it as the perfect excuse to disown me.

“That’s…” Lily trailed off, her eyes wide with an emotion I didn’t know how to read. She just pulled me into a hug, wrapping her arms around me as she released her lovely apple scent that wasn’t contained by the scent blocker. I buried my face in her neck and took the scent in as it was the only thing that could stabilize my chaotic life. Slowly, I let myself cry for the second time that day.

When I finished I pulled my head back and wiped my face off on the sleeves of my robe.

“What are you going to do?” she asked, placing her hand once again on my shoulder.

“What do you mean?”

“Are you going to keep the baby? Are you going to give him up for adoption? Are you going to go through with the pregnancy at all?” she prompted.

I opened my mouth to answer her but found that I didn’t know what I was going to do. “I don’t know,” I finally breathed. Admitting it seemed to help, but the unsettled feeling still rested in every crevice of my mind.

“I think you should start by telling the father. Please tell me that it’s Remus and not him,” Lily murmured as she reached out and grabbed both of my hands in hers.

“It is Remus. I wasn’t together with him for long enough to sleep with him,” I shook my head.

“Then you should go tell Remus about the baby,” Lily said. She dropped my hands and stood up, gathering up my things before she offered one of her delicate hands to me. I took it and stood up, swaying for a minute like I had for the past two weeks. Together, we walked back to the school and up through the winding corridors to get to the Gryffindor common room.

“Wait, I’m scared,” I whispered, stopping just short of the door where she would say the password and let us inside. She hadn’t yet let go of my hand, so when I stopped she was tugged back with me.

“Remus won’t just up and abandon you,” she promised with a reassuring smile. “And if he does James and I will be here to help take care of you whatever you choose to do.”

“Really?”

“Yes,” she grinned, her eyes sparkling adoringly at me before she turned back to the painting. Everything had been going too fast up to this point, but now the world seemed to slow to a crawl as we walked through the small hallway leading to the common room and then entered in the rest of the way. It was a lovely day outside so most people were lounging around in one of the areas outdoors which left only two people in the common room.

“Remus?” I asked, my eyes nearly bulging out of my skull. Seconds ticked one by one as I processed what I was seeing. My boyfriend was perfectly placed on top of his best friend’s lap as their lips stuck together. Sirius had his hand-woven into the dusty brown locks just like I had two weeks ago and again just the day before. Tears blurred my vision as their kiss slowed and they looked up to me.

“What the fuck?” I cussed, my hands balling into fists beside my as rage seethed through my pores and infiltrated my very being.

“Severus?” Remus asked as he sprang out of Sirius’ lap as quickly as humanly possible. “It’s not what it looks like!”

“It’s not? Then what is it?” I snapped bitterly.

“We were just... I mean, I-” he stuttered as he hurried around the edge of the couch and tried to grab my hands.

“Don’t touch me,” I growled, backing away from him slightly. Lily placed a hand on my back and was letting a cool, yet angry scent out.

“What? Are you afraid of him now that you know?” Sirius asked as he walked behind the beta, my supposed boyfriend.

“No! And I wouldn’t have been scared of him in the first place if you hadn’t sent me into the middle of a dangerous situation where neither of us had any idea what was going on,” I sassed back.

The alpha growled darkly at me and wrapped his arm around Remus’ waist as if just to show how much closer they were. “That doesn’t change the fact that you were still scared of him. I was never scared of him.”

“I’m not some piece of meat that you two get to fight over like animals!” Remus scolded as he stepped away from the alpha.

“This shouldn’t have to be a fight. You’re my boyfriend! You and I have been dating for months and-and,” I faltered, unable to get the words past my life.

“And what?” Sirius snapped viciously.

“And I’m pregnant you fucking asshole!” I cussed as I stormed out of the room. I had made my way down a couple of hallways before Lily was able to catch up with me.

“Sev, please wait up,” she pleaded as she jogged after me. The skirt that some people could opt to wear was a bit constricting when it came to running. I did as she asked and stopped, letting her catch up to my side. She instantly flung her arms around me and rubbed our necks together to scent me. “I’m so sorry that that had to happen to you.”

“I hate him so much,” I whispered into her shoulder as my arms came up to hold her as close to me as I could.

“I know. You have the right to hate him that much,” she replied with a small shake of her head. “It makes sense why they would. That was a horrid thing that they did.”

“I just want someone to love me,” I murmured as tears slipped down my face and onto my neck.

“I know. I know,” she whispered as she rubbed the back of my head and rocked us back and forth. “You deserve someone that is going to love you after all you’ve been through.”

“Do I? The forces above don’t seem to think that I do,” I seethed as I wiped the tears from my face and sniffled a small bit.

“You do. You’ve just been looking in the wrong places,” she smiled cryptically. “Now do you want to go down to the Great Hall for dinner with me? James and I were planning on sitting away from Remus and Sirius today anyway. Maybe Peter will join us too.”

“Okay,” I replied, giving her a small smile. She beamed back at me, which caused my heart to flutter eagerly in my chest. She slipped her hand into mine as we walked down to the Great Hall below us. James and Peter were already sitting further down the table than they normally did. Peter’s plate was already full of food, and just the sight of dinner made my stomach growl loudly as if reminding me that I hadn’t yet eaten anything.

“Hey,” James smiled as he motioned for me to sit at one of the empty spots while making grabby hands at his girlfriend. Lily let my hand go only to circle around the end of the table and sit next to her courting partner. I sat down and began to load up my plate with food.

“How is your wrist feeling?” Peter asked as he nibbled on a piece of bread.

“Better than it was this morning,” I replied with a small shrug before my eyes darted back up to James. “I should thank you since you were the one that came to help me. If you didn’t I would have been a lot more injured,” one of my hands drifted down to my stomach.

“It was the right thing to do. I know that we’ve had our differences, but I’ve grown up a little bit since I started dating Lils,” James smiled back at me.

“More than a little bit. You’re making great progress,” the redhead praised as she kissed her cheek before resuming her meal.

“I’m really sorry that Sirius did that to you. Normally when he pulls pranks it’s just to make somebody laugh or be really confused. He’s never tried to hurt someone like that before,” Peter said. I could tell that he was earnest in his apology to me, which certainly helped with the messy turmoil of emotions that were whirling in my heart.

“Seeing as I’ve been at the backend of most of your pranks up until this year, they were never very funny,” I replied.

I was still a little bitter, but as time passed it slowly faded from me. I held resentment for Remus as he had taken advantage of me in more ways than one. I spent more time with my best friend and her boyfriend, slowly getting used to spending my time around the obnoxiously charismatic Gryffindors and less time around the back-stabbing slyness of my Slytherin housemates. I had never had many friends in the first place, and even less when my omegan secret finally came to light so I didn’t miss them much. My parents disowned me just as I had expected them to, but there was no howler to announce my secret to the entire school.

The next time that I spoke to Remus was when he cornered me outside of the library with Lily when I was getting closer to my third month. “Sev,” he pleaded as he reached out and caught my arm.

“You don’t get to call me that anymore,” I replied as I wrenched my arm out of his hold and narrowed my eyes at the beta. “You can call me Snape.”

“Fine, but we really do need to talk,” he said, shoulders sagging as he stared down at the ground.

“We can talk in the library, my ankles hurt,” I grumbled as I glanced at Lily.

“Are you sure? You don’t have to even give him the time of day after what he did to you,” she murmured as we continued on our way with the dejected beta following slowly behind us.

“I need to talk to him anyway. There’s the whole matter of… you know what,” I mumbled as my hand pressed to my still flat stomach for a moment. I would be five or six months along when we graduated and I wasn’t planning on coming back for the eighth year since I would have a baby to take care of. I was already good in potions so I figured I’d be able to find a job somewhere in desperate need of someone like me.

We walked back to one of the more secluded parts of the library and sat down at the table. “What do you want to talk about?” I asked. Something inside of me wanted to forgive him immediately and have everything go back to the way that it had been before, but I knew that it was my pregnancy hormones.

“The baby,” he replied, his eyes glued to my expertly hidden stomach.

“What about him?” I growled back defensively. Lily reached out and rubbed my shoulder as her way of showing what little support she could.

“Are you going to keep it?” he asked.

“Of course I am. I know I act like some pre-feral omega but I actually care about the pup I’m carrying,” I hissed quietly. I wanted to correct the objectifying of our-my child, but I had bigger battles to fight at the moment.

“You know that there’s a possibility that it could be a werewolf, right?” he asked, narrowing caramel eyes at me.

“That doesn’t bother me. I’m better at potions than you are so I’d be able to make a draft to help with the uncontrollable rage and painful transformations,” I replied quickly.

“So you’re just going to let yourself give birth to another monster that will be tortured and unloved?” Remus growled.

“My child will not be a monster. I have been one of the people that this world has shown no love to and I will make sure that I love my pup more than anything else,” I narrowed my eyes and released my scent for the first time since he had swept me into the conception of my baby.

“Fine,” he spat back in reply. “If you’re going to keep it then I should get custody too.”

“No,” Lily and I both said at the same time.

I glanced over at her and felt another surge of confidence as she gave me a determined look. “You just called the pup a monster and said that he would be discriminated against. There’s no way in Hell I would let you have any rights to my baby or let you see him if you’re going to act like that when you’re around him.”

“I wish I had never had sex with a whore like you,” Remus muttered darkly as he stood up and stalked quickly away from our little corner of the library.

I sat in my seat numbly, both of my hands laid limply in my lap while I processed what my ex-boyfriend had said to me. I had been so in love with him just weeks beforehand, it was insane how quickly he had changed from the adoring beta I’d fallen for into the abusive, rude man that had been before me seconds ago.

“You did the right thing, Sev,” Lily said softly as she placed her hand on my shoulder and then wrapped me in an adoring hug. I placed my hands over her arms as a way of hugging her back and leaned into the embrace. “You don’t even have to give him the time of day now.”

“He called me a whore… where did the beta I fell in love with go?” I asked.

“I don’t know. He’s not acting much like the Remus I knew either,” she sighed as she placed her chin on my shoulder. We fell silent for a bit, both of us stewing in our emotions.

“I thought I’d find you two in here,” James grinned at us as he rounded the corner and entered into our little alcove. “Why are you so glum?”

“Remus followed us in here because he wanted to talk,” Lily began.

“So? Sirius was the one that basically jumped you when this went down,” James said as he pulled over a chair and sat down next to us.

“Remus called me a whore and called the baby a monster,” I replied bitterly.

“Oh.”

“It took almost all of my willpower to not knock his teeth out,” Lily grumbled with a scowl.

“I think I might have to have words with him,” James nodded as he rubbed his face. “I was coming to talk about something a little more chipper but it feels like the wrong time now.”

“No, I need something happy. My life has sucked for the past couple of months,” I replied with a small shake of my head.

“Well, Lily and I did some talking last night and I finally made up my mind. When we all graduate, I want us to move in together. I have a trust fund from my parents and if I pass all of my exams I can become an Auror and start getting my own funding as well. We can buy a house in a nice little muggle village and live out our lives until we’re old and grey.”

“Is this your way of asking us to be a pack?” I asked with a small smile. The idea made my heart flutter happily in my chest in a way that being with Remus hadn’t. Lily had been the object of my affections for so long, and James didn’t look bad nor was he as much of a prick as I originally thought that he was. I enjoyed being around them both and even if I didn’t become mates with them, being in their pack would be lovely.

“Cute,” Lily cooed as she left her place around my shoulders and attacked her boyfriend with happy little kisses all over his face.

“What about the baby?” I asked after a moment as I placed my arms protectively around my unnoticeable bump.

“We’ll get a house with two extra bedrooms. One for you, one for the pup!” James grinned with a shrug. “It’ll work.”

“That would be… amazing,” he murmured as he grinned.

“Great!” he announced before a ghost poked his head through a bookcase just to shush us.

I avoided Sirius and Remus like they had the plague for the next month of school. We were placed away from each other during the exams however, which was the best part of them. I got morning sickness and scent replacer drafts from Madame Pomfrey after I explained my situation to her. I began to keep the heavy drapes around my bed drawn and locked with spells as I had created a nest out of blankets from wherever I could find. Lily and James became fiercely protective over me, but we all decided that we shouldn’t actually form a pack until we were living with each other and had a firm grasp on what our lives would be.

Lily and I kept getting closer now that James had realized that I wasn’t as awful as he initially thought. She began to get clingier, giving me more hugs and kisses on the cheek. It wasn’t unwelcome, in fact, I adored it more than anything else. James also began to show physical affection towards me as well as spend more time around me without Lily. I cursed myself when my heart began to flutter eagerly at just the thought of being around them and spending time with them. I had fallen for them and I had no way of getting out of it.

I had expected them to withdraw their offer to have me in their pack when we had actually graduated. However, they found me on the day that we were all packing up to leave the school for good and sat with me the entire train ride back.

“Here,” James said, grabbing my bag before I had the chance to. He placed it on the trolley and then did the same to Lily’s. Her cat made an unappreciative yowl as she was jostled around in her carrier.

“James left last week for a night and settled on a house in a place where his parents approve. Isn’t this exciting?” Lily giggled as she grabbed my hand and wove her fingers together.

“I can’t believe that you two are actually letting me be a part of your pack, especially with the baby on the way,” I mumbled, placing a hand under my rounded stomach.

“Speaking of which, I told my mom about your situation and she said that there would be a surprise for you when we got to the house,” James grinned as he turned back to look at me. We exited through the entrance to Platform 9 ¾ and out in the wider muggle train station. Lily opens the trunk to the car that her parents had bought her after her sixteenth birthday and loads our trunks into it. She then got into the driver seat and James got into the front passenger seat. I got into the middle of the backseat and let out a small chuckle as her cat lets out a yowl of protest once more. We would have apparated if not for the risks that came with apparating when pregnant.

When we arrived at the house, I had to be shaken awake since the long drive through the countryside had put my right to sleep. I yawned and rubbed away the blurriness that my eyes always collected when I napped.

“Morning, sleepyhead,” James teased with one of his winning smiles.

“You try to stay awake when you’re growing a human inside of you,” I bit back playfully in reply. He chuckled and offered me a hand to help me up, something that was getting slightly more difficult the larger that the pup got.

“You really picked a good one, James,” a beta woman told my friend as she walked over to where we were now talking by the car. She had shaggy brown hair and the same lovely blue eyes that James had but her face looked nothing like his. “And you must be Severus!” she beamed as she turned to me.

“Ah, yes I am,” I nodded as I placed a hand on the bottom of my stomach protectively.

“James and Lily have both told me so much about you. I’m glad that they took you in and decided to start a pack with you. Trust me, it will be good for the pup,” the woman, who must have been Mrs. Potter promised with a pretty smile.

“I hope so. Things have been pretty bad so far,” I winced in remembrance of how badly my hips had been hurting just yesterday.

“I’m so sorry that you had to go through this so young and that the father bailed on you,” Mrs. Potter tutted. The sun disappeared behind a cloud and she began to usher us into our new home, where Lily and James had already brought our bags in and released Crookshanks from his carrier.

“Now, I don’t know if James told you this or not, but I have been preparing the house since we bought it for him. And as soon as he told me that you were expecting I knew that I had to do something for you,” she grinned wickedly.

“He did tell me about that,” I nodded as I glanced over at the aforementioned alpha. He grinned back to me and gave me a thumbs-up before he was dragged into the kitchen by Lily.

Mrs. Potter began to walk through the house, leading me through the living room and into a hallway. From what I had seen, it was a lovely home that would be amazing to live in and even better to raise a child in. The front door opened into a small mudroom with tastefully tiled floors. It had a closet to the side for coats and a storage container for shoes as well as a key hanger. There was another door with lots of ornate glass in the upper half. When opened, it revealed the living room and had a hallway down the right and a kitchen to the left. The entire house was done in the most gorgeous hardwood that I had ever seen. The living room had a fireplace with a large mantle and several built-in bookshelves to either side. The bookcases were already half-way filled with Lily’s collection and a couple that I’m sure Mrs. Potter had left in her hopes that her son would one day read them.

As I walked down the hall, I looked at some of the photos already hanging on the walls. There were a couple of Lily and me in our beginning years of friendship, taken with Muggle cameras. The one near the first room was James and the rest of his friends, which had been taken before Sirius and Remus had turned to dreadfully tainted. I peeked into the first room and found that it was a bathroom.

The tile was the same as it had been in the mudroom and the countertops matched with it tastefully. It was decently sized with a tub and shower tucked into a divet in the wall. Behind the door, I assumed that there would be some type of linen or storage closet.

I turned back and followed after Mrs. Potter as we kept walking down the hallway. We went up a staircase that I was dreading descending when my belly got so big that I couldn’t see my toes. There was another hallway up the stairs, though this one went the other way. It had four rooms, two on each side. The one closest to the stairs was another bathroom and then on the other side, Mrs. Potter stopped and opened the door to reveal a bedroom.

“This is your room,” she said. “I know it’s bare, but you’ll have plenty of time to change it to your liking,” the beta chuckled.

I smiled back at her and took a step in to look at what they had placed in it so far. My trunk was placed against the wall, leaning against a gorgeous oak desk. It had a comfortable chair tucked between the drawers on one side and the legs on the other. It had a lamp on one corner, the corner closest to the wall. There was a bookshelf on the northernmost wall, containing a couple books that I assumed they had somehow obtained from my mother and father’s house. The bed was underneath the window and decorated with warm and heavy quilts. I was going to have to change those out before I went to sleep tonight since the pregnancy had made it unbearable to sleep under anything less than a top sheet. There was a closet on the last and final wall, just large enough to fit the limited clothing items that I owned. The room was much larger than my one with my parents had been and much brighter than that one had been as well.

“It’s lovely,” I smiled happily as I turned and walked back to the last room on the right side of the wall. I walked in after Mrs. Potter and gasped.

The room had been decorated as a nursery. The walls were a delicate baby blue with animal trim at the top and bottom. The window was large and framed with lilac curtains that were blowing in the breeze. Underneath the window was a little bookshelf with more children’s stories that I could hope to read to the pup in a year. The crib was white with a pastel yellow mattress lining the bottom. A matching rocking chair was in the corner right next to it, covered with a blanket that had the same color scheme as the rest of the room. The crib had a mobile with little broomsticks hung from the circlet. There was a changing table stocked with wipes, nappies, and a couple other miscellaneous baby things that would undoubtedly come in handy later. The closet was shut and had a rug spread out on the ground in front of it. It had several toys and more than enough stuffed animals piled on top of each other.

“This is wonderful,” I breathed, pressing a hand to my stomach as I thought about the tiny baby growing inside of me. In just four or five short months he would be here, growing up in this very nursery. The thought brought tears to my eyes and soon had me crying. Mrs. Potter wrapped her arms around me and rubbed my back as I sobbed into her shoulder.

“Shh, it’s alright love,” she cooed as she brought me over to the rocking chair and had me sit down.

“Sev? Is everything okay?” Lily asked as she rushed into the room from where she had been exploring the house herself. She grabbed my hand and kissed my knuckles.

James followed after her, worrying his lip in between his teeth. “Is the nursery okay? I know the broomstick mobile is a little cheesy but I thought it was cute. We can change it if you don’t like it,” he mumbled.

“No, this is wonderful,” he whispered as he wiped at his face. “I love it so much.”

“Why are you crying, then?” James asked as he placed a hand on my shoulder and rubbed gently.

“It’s just something that happens during pregnancy, love,” Mrs. Potter replied.

“I can’t wait to raise my pup here,” I grinned widely as I looked over to the two people I loved most in the world.

“We can’t wait to raise him here either,” Lily giggled as she kissed my cheek. “Love you.”

Mrs. Potter slipped quickly out of the room, leaving us to spend some time together.

“Wh-what?” I asked, eyes wide as excitement and apprehension filled me.

“Sorry,” she mumbled as she looked down at her knees and the floor underneath her. “I wasn’t going to say anything since I know that you haven’t had any luck with relationships in the past. I didn’t want to coerce you into anything or pressure you in any way.”

“Lily, I’ve been in love with you since our fourth year,” I laughed bitterly.

“I told you, Lils,” James snickered.

“You’re okay with her loving someone other than you?” I asked him.

“I mean, yeah. If I’m being honest my ideal situation would be the three of us together but I understand that that can’t happen…” James mumbled, rubbing the back of his neck awkwardly.

“Says who?” I asked as I stood up from the rocking chair and turned around. I stood up on my tiptoes and pressed my lips to his, finally giving in to the desires that I had been having for a good month now. He wrapped his arms around my hips and tipped my backward slightly as he returned the kiss.

When we pulled back Lily began to pepper my face with kisses just like I had seen her do with James so many times before. I giggled and nuzzled against her scent gland once I had the opportunity to. She purred eagerly and scented me with her decidedly mate scent, claiming me in the only way that she could. I released a scent like that as well and claimed her before rubbing against James as well. We would have to wait until my next heat after the baby was born or else there was a chance I could feral and reject the pup. James scented me back, making us all effectively mates until the pup was born.

---

The hot July air seeped through the cracks in the windows and hung heavy in our rooms. The breeze helped a small bit, blowing the curtains that hung around the windows up before they drifted back down to their proper locations.

James was away at work again and had to stay late tonight. I don’t know why he insisted on becoming an Auror when we were already part of the Order of the Phoenix and we were in the midst of the most dangerous time of our lives.

Crookshanks was lounging in the shade underneath one of the footstools littered around the living area to try and cool himself off.

“It’s so hot,” I complained, throwing my head back against the throw blanket on the back of our couch.

“If you think you’re hot imagine what it’s like being pregnant in this heat,” Severus complained from where he was sitting on the kitchen tile. In the mornings and evenings, he spent a lot of his time reading in his nest on the master bed, but during the day, especially in the overwhelming heat of the afternoon he would sit on the tile floor of the mudroom or the kitchen and read there. He hadn’t been able to find work yet due to the quickly advancing arrival of our pup.

“I know you’re uncomfortable Sev,” I sighed. I got up and walked around the couch to come and join him in the kitchen. My legs stuck to the chilled tile floor as I made sure not to touch him in fear of adding to his uncomfortableness.

“Being pregnant sucks,” he whispered as he placed his hands underneath his huge rounded bump.

“So you wouldn’t be willing to do this again? Even if James or I were the one to father the pup?” I asked.

“Maybe then. Just because of how much I love you,” he replied with a small smile. I leaned over and pressed a kiss to his lips. We had been scent-mated for about three months now and James and I couldn’t be happier.

“Ow,” Severus whispered, tensing up all of his muscles.

“Is this a false contraction?” I asked as I reached over and grabbed his hand.

“I’ve been having them all morning,” he mumbled in reply. “I was so uncomfortable last night that I just assumed I was more uncomfortable right now.”

“Sev, this isn’t good. You’re only seven months along,” I whimpered as I pressed a hand to the side of his face and then to his forehead. I didn’t know what I was looking for but it seemed like the right thing to do at the moment.

“I didn’t think that I could go into labor this early,” he whispered timidly. “I hope that this is just false contractions and not actual labor.

“Me too. I guess all we can do now is wait,” I mumbled with a small shrug. We sat on the kitchen floor together all afternoon. I got up and made us lunch and then a snack when the time for them came. I read to him at one point and got him pillows when he became uncomfortable.

“Severus? Lily?” James called as he walked into the house.

“In here, love!” I called back in reply as I ran my nimble fingers through Severus’s long locks. The pain hadn’t gone away as the day ebbed on and it was beginning to get worse. There was also a new smell flowing off of him that I couldn’t quite place.

“What’s going on?” James asked as he sat down next to me and reached out to place a hand on the baby bump.

“Sev has been in pain since last night and it’s just not going away,” I replied with a sigh.

“Do you think that we need to take him to the muggle hospital down the way?” James asked as he reached up and pet our omega’s face.

“I think that if it doesn’t go away by tonight then we need to,” I nodded.

“Ow,” he whispered again, tensing and griping at anything that he could. This pain had happened only two minutes after the last one did. “Can one of you help me up? I really want to go to my nest.”

“I can,” James replied, helping our omega stand up and slowly waddle his way through our home to get to the nest. He stopped just as he got to the stairs and whimpered as water-soaked his legs.

“Please tell me that’s not what I think it is,” I panicked.

“Did you just wet yourself?” James asked.

“No, you git!” he swore. “My fucking water just broke,” he whispered.

“We need to get him to the hospital. James, get him out to the car and I’ll grab some of the things that we need,” I said as I rushed past them and up the stairs. I could hear Severus swearing and growling in pain as James tried desperately to calm him down. I grabbed a change of clothes for me, Severus, and James. I then darted into the baby’s room and grabbed diapers, bottles, pacifiers, and a baby blanket that we were planning on bringing the pup home in. I stopped just before leaving the room and grabbed two onesies before I went down to the car. I stuck the bag in the trunk and then got into the front seat and started driving.

“I feel pressure,” Severus whispered as he clung tightly to James’s hand and his maternity dress over his belly. “I need to push.”

“Please try to hold on for just ten minutes,” I pleaded desperately as we sped down the road as fast as the speed limit and my rickety old car would allow.

“I don’t know if I can,” the omega replied, his voice strained as he forced himself to go against the instincts that his body was telling him to follow. “I can’t! Pull over, now!” he shouted.

We had just reached the outskirts of the town and we lived in a small enough village that there wouldn’t be anyone along this road for some time to help us. “James, apparate to get your mum,” I commanded as I unbuckled myself and rushed to the backseat of the car.

“Okay,” the alpha said. His eyes were wide and uncertain with fear as he focused for a moment and apparated away to get help. I opened the back door of the car and got in next to my omega mate. I grabbed his pants and underwear and pulled with one fluid motion like I had seen some people do on TV shows when I was younger. Severus whimpered and pressed his chin to his chest as he began to push.

There was a popping sound just outside of the car, alerting me to the presence of my alpha and his mother.

“Isn’t it a little early for labor to be starting?” Mrs. Potter asked as she walked behind me and peeked over my shoulder. She grimaced and then said, “Well, baby’s come when they choose, I suppose.”

“We can’t get him to the muggle hospital or Saint Mungos in the state that he’s in. What do we do?” I asked as I continued to hold Severus’s hand tightly in mine. He had relaxed against the back of the seat as red liquids dribbled down his leg and onto the fabric of the seat.

“We deliver the baby here and then transport them to Mungos,” she replied with a shrug. “Go around to the other side and I can get a blanket to catch the pup when he comes.”

I did as I was told and left my best friend for just a moment to go around to the other side of the car and grab that hand. James put the front passenger seat down and allowed his mother some more room to get in between Severus’s legs. He handed her the emergency wool blanket that we always kept in the back of the car and then held our omega’s other hand

“Good, I can see the head crowning,” Mrs. Potter praised after about ten minutes of Severus pushing his hardest.

“You’ve said that about five times now and the progress has just gone back,” he snapped moodily as he kept pushing. This time, the head didn’t duck back inside of his entrance like it had the past couple times and emerged further. He let out a stream of curses as he pushed once more and managed to get the head out.

“You’re doing so well, we’re so proud of you,” I praised, kissing his hand as I made sure that my worried scent didn’t leak out of my gland.

“You can do this, Sev. You’ve wanted to meet him so long and now you finally can,” James rambled almost incoherently as his way of working through the stress and anxiety coursing through us both. Severus pushed for another five minutes to get both of the shoulders out until the baby slipped out of him and into the blanket that Mrs. Potter was holding.

She caught the pup and wrapped him weakly in the wool cloth before placing him on Severus’s chest and then apparating to Mungos like had been discussed during the process of Severus birthing our pup.

“Wow, hi there,” the omega whispered as he stared down at his son with wide eyes. “You’re so small,” he whispered reverently. The pup coughed and began to scream and cry, much to the relief of my entire pack. I let out a wet laugh and wiped the tears off of my face as I looked down at the tiny pup.

I had heard stories of new parents praising their children for being the most beautiful beings in the world. I didn’t think that the newborn was particularly pretty, in fact, he looked a bit like a squashed meatloaf, but he was gorgeous in another way. I was a mother, even if I hadn’t been the one to carry or father the pup, and there was nothing better than that feeling.

“This is…” James couldn’t finish his sentence as he kissed Severus once more. The omega pulled back and let out a tense breath as his body forced him to deliver the afterbirth. Just then, Mrs. Potter returned with a couple of medics from Saint Mungos. James and I had to move away from Severus so that they could get him and the pup loaded up on the stretcher. One of them magicked away the afterbirth and cleaned up the pup. They began to cast more spells over our lover and the baby as the other two opened a portal and pushed the omega and pup through it and into the hospital.

I collapsed down to the ground when I saw my mate disappear through it fully, tears rushing down my face at a rapid rate. Mrs. Potter apparated away before I did so, leaving just James and me on the empty road.

“Woah, hey, Lils,” James whispered as he sat down next to me and rubbed my shoulder.

“I was so worried that we were going to lose one of them, James,” I whispered as I flung my arms around his neck and buried my face into his scent gland.

“I know, I was too,” he replied as he rubbed my back soothingly. “But we didn’t and now we can pack a proper bag and go to the hospital to see them.”

“I guess so,” I nodded as I wiped my eyes on my sleeve after pulling away from him. I pulled out my wand as I stood up and cast a couple spells over the backseat to get rid of the stains and wetness that had come during the birthing process. I put the passenger seat back up into its proper position and then got into the driver’s seat. We drove back home as quickly as we could, my hands shaking on the steering wheel the entire time. I parked in the driveway and then took out the bags, removing some of the things that I had grabbed in my panic and replacing them. I packed it better so that we only had to bring one instead of one for each of us. It would also be easier for us now that we could apparate home for new clothes.

“Are you ready?” James asked me from where he was standing against the doorframe to our bedroom.

“Yeah. I want to go see Sev and properly meet our baby,” I grinned wickedly. I shouldered the bag and then held his hand as we both apparated to the waiting room and then rushed up to the receptionist.

“Our mate just had a baby, we need to go see him,” James blurted out as he was just barely able to contain his excitement and anticipation.

“Longbottom?” the receptionist asked.

“No, he should be here under Snape,” I shook my head. She flipped through her little book aimlessly for a moment before she told us where he had been set up. We rushed through the halls as quickly as we could while still being respectful to the patients and staff.

“Sev?” I asked as I knocked on the door to the room we had been told our mate was in.

“Lily?” he echoed back with hopeful anticipation that made my heart sing. I walked into the room with James following close behind me. He shut the door behind us and then put a chair next to Severus so that he could sit close to the omega.

“For a little bit I didn’t think that you would come,” he laughed dryly.

“We were coming, we just wanted to repack the bag so that we would have all the things we needed,” I explained quickly as I sat down on another chair near the bed. I sat up on one leg to try and make myself taller so that I could get a better view of the baby.

“Do either of you want to hold him?” Severus asked as he moved the pup around a small bit.

“I’d love to,” I piped up before James even got the chance to open his mouth. Our omega smiled and giggled a small bit as he passed the pup over to my waiting arms. Pride and adoration filled my chest as I looked down at the tiny, red, and very squished face that the pup held.

“Have you decided on a name?” James asked as he looked over my shoulder at the tiny infant in my arms.

“Harry,” Severus nodded. “Harry Potter.”

“You want him to have my last name?” James asked with wide eyes. “Not Harry Snape?”

“I was planning on becoming your mate as soon as I could, and often omegas take their alphas last names without being married,” he nodded. “If that’s okay with both of you.”

“That’s a wonderful and very fitting name,” I grinned widely.

“They had to cast a bunch of spells on him since he was born so early. Apparently, the biological father not being around me made my body go into labor as soon as possible despite all of the potions I was taking,” Severus mumbled as he tried his hardest to stay awake.

“Well, he’s happy and healthy now. Go ahead and go to sleep, love,” James reasoned as he rubbed our omega’s leg with one hand. Severus rested back against the pillows and slowly drifted to sleep with his eyes glued on our newborn pup.

Harry looked up at me with big green eyes and blinked twice before he yawned widely and fell asleep. “I can’t believe that we’re parents,” I whispered as I leaned into James.

“Me too,” he whispered against the skin of my shoulder and neck.

We were able to bring both the baby and our scent mate home after only two days. Mr. and Mrs. Potter were already at the house when we arrived back, eager to meet their eldest grandbaby. Severus was still protective over the infant but allowed them to hold and dote over the newborn for a reasonable amount of time. We settled into a good rhythm with each other once more. We would take shifts getting up with Harry when he cried during the night, most of which was just fussing since he wanted attention.

Our little one was about six months old, Severus was home alone with him a lot. I had gotten a job and had to start doing more work for the Order. We kept Harry a secret from everyone else, only speaking about him in vague terms so that no one knew about our pup nor did they know about our scent-mate.

“Sev! Harry! I’m home,” I called as I placed my keys on their hook and then walked further into the house. Severus was seated on the couch facing the fireplace with our little one napping in his legs.

“Welcome home, love,” he smiled as he turned to look back at me. “I do have something to tell you and James when he gets home as well.”

“Something good or bad?” I asked as I leaned over the back of the couch and pressed a kiss to his cheek.

“That depends,” he replied as he shifted around anxiously. Harry woke up on his lap and blinked his bright green orbs at me twice before giggling and reaching up with his chubby hands.

“Hi there sweet love,” I cooed as I reached over and tickled his tummy. “Have you been good for Mommy today?”

“He was, actually. He went down for his nap really well,” Severus smiled proudly down at his pup.

“I wonder if Remus regrets what he did to you,” I blurted before I thought better of it.

“I hope not. If he regrets it then he could try and take Harry away from us,” my omega scent-mate frowned deeply.

“Home!” James shouted as the tell-tale pop of apparition echoed through the house from the mudroom. He walked over to us and kissed Severus before wrapping his arms around my hips and kissing me passionately.

“Now that you’re both here I can tell you,” Severus said as he picked Harry up and cradled him expertly while walking around the couch to talk to us more formally.

“Is something wrong, Sev?” James asked worriedly as he grabbed Harry’s little hand as the beta reached out for him.

“You know that I’ve been wanting work for some time, right?” I asked.

“Yes,” I nodded as I glanced over to James and then turned my attention back to the omega.

“Professor Dumbledore came by today and offered me a job that I couldn’t refuse,” he replied, looking away from us.

“What was the job?” James asked, worry leaking out of his dark licorice scent.

“It was something that will really help with the war effort. It could mean that the Order and the Ministry would be able to take down he-who-must-not-be-named,” he rambled, avoiding actually answering.

“Sev, we love you and we will support you. We supported James when he chose to become an Auror. So whatever this job is we’re here to support you,” I said as I reached out and touched his shoulder lightly.

“He asked me to go undercover as a Death Eater. I would be posing as a double agent for them while I’m actually a triple agent for the Order,” he quickly rushed out.

“And you’ve already accepted?” James asked. He looked worried and concerned, but there was no flare of anger or resentment for our mate.

“I have. It does mean that I’ll have to get the Dark Mark. I think it’d be better if I moved out as well. Just so that I had a permanent residence where people could think that I lived even if I spent some time with you two and the baby,” he said.

“Speaking of which,” James sighed, rubbing the stubble on his chin. “Apparently Trawlany got a prophecy and You Know Who got wind of it. He’s looking for babies born in July from Wizards.”

“And Harry was born early in July,” I finished as my heart sunk down into my stomach. “I was thinking that we should go into hiding. No one really knows about Harry, or that he came from Severus and not from you, Lils.”

“Maybe this will work out. We can keep Harry here with us and go into hiding and then Sev can come and visit us whenever he can,” I replied as I looked over to Severus.

“It doesn’t make me happy but I think it will work,” he nodded firmly. “I talked to Peter earlier and he said that he already had an apartment that I could start renting since Dumbledore wants me to start working as quickly as possible,” the omega said. He paused and sniffled heavily, trying to resist crying.

“Oh Severus,” James whispered, wrapping the omega into a hug as he broke into tears. I wiggled Harry around so that he wouldn’t be uncomfortable before I hugged the other side of him.

“I don’t want to have to leave any of you. I love you all so much,” he whispered when he had finally stopped crying.

“We don’t want you to leave either, but if it means that we can raise our son in a better world that much quicker than I’m willing to do anything,” James replied with a shaky smile.

“You’re such a Gryffindor,” Severus laughed as he kissed the alpha’s lips. We spent the rest of the time that we could together until Severus had to pack and move away from us. The Order came and cloaked our house so that no one would be able to find us.

The days and nights blurred together as time continued to pass. Harry grew up faster than I thought was possible, and soon we were celebrating his first birthday with our omega mate. Severus had to leave in the middle of our little party and then came back injured the next night. I spent most of my time reading to our pup and worrying about both of my mates.

The night was getting nippier as October settled over us. I had Harry on my hip as he babbled almost-words into my ear. James was down in the living room, checking on a disturbance in the wards around the house. I heard running and darted into the nursery as quickly as I could. I set Harry down on the changing table and winced as I heard steps coming up the stairs that certainly didn’t sound like my mates’.

“Mummy loves you, sweetheart,” I cooed at the pup to try and keep his quiet despite my frightful scent. “You’re so loved,” I whispered as I kissed the top of his head. I felt something inside of me, my magic perhaps, reaching out and enveloping the pup as I whirled around to see who was opening the door.

I wasn’t able to get a good look at the stranger before I saw a flash of green cross my vision before I fell down to the floor. My will to live fought against the spell for a moment before the spell took over and everything went black.

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owlways-and-forever · 5 years

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Summary: The Marauders are getting older, and that means so many things. Mischief, heartbreak, and trying to figure out who they really are. They’ll face problems within their group, prove their loyalty to each other, and discover the ugliness that is brewing in the wizarding world at large. Welcome to Years 2-4 of the Marauders time at Hogwarts. **This piece is a sequel to Behind the Mango Tree, however, you do not have to have read the first installment to pick this up. It does stand alone, but there is some carry over from the last book, especially with inter-character relationships. Basically, you don’t have to have read BtMT, but it certainly helps. Word Count: (4,052) 26,414 Links: FFnet | ao3 | tumblr: Ch 1, Ch 2, Ch 3, Ch 4, Ch 5, Ch 6, Ch 7, Ch 8

A/N: Well, well, well, what do we have here? A new chapters, FINALLY! What can I say guys, this one was like pulling teeth. Admittedly, there's been a lot going on the past few months - work changes and personal life stuff, and for the most part all of it good, just a bit time consuming. But it's also just been hard to find the inspiration for this story lately. Don't get me wrong, I still love it with all of my heart, and I will absolutely still be writing it. Just hit a bit of a lull between some of my favourite chapters. Anyway, as you can all tell, I suck at sticking to a schedule, so I won't make any kind of promises about when the next chapter will be up. All I can say is that hopefully it will be much sooner than this one took. Anyway, thanks for reading, and as always, feedback is more than welcome!

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Ch 9: What Friends are For

As final exams drew closer, the boys began to feel mounting pressure. Every day they made their way to the library as soon as classes were over, taking dinner at one of the few tables that Madam Pince allowed food. They worked frantically for as long as they could keep their eyes open, then returned to the Gryffindor common room for a few hours of sleep before waking up and starting all over again.

They were all exhausted, but none of them more so than Remus. The full moon fell a week before exams, leaving him tired, weak, and ill as they prepared their last homework assignments of the year. They all knew that somehow, this transformation would be worse than any before, and they vowed to do anything they could to help Remus.

Peter woke in the morning, dark circles under his eyes after a restless night, and he found that Remus was not in his bed. After transformations, Madame Pomfrey and Professor McGonagall typically returned Remus to the dormitory shortly after sunrise, sneaking him in before the other students awoke. But despite the bright sunbeams streaming through the windows and lighting up the room, there was no Remus. Peter’s heart pounded. What had happened? Had something gone wrong? They had all tried to wait up as long as possible, listening to the distant sounds of howling and wondering if it was their best friend. But sooner or later, exhaustion had claimed them all, and they had collapsed wearily upon their pillows.

“Sirius! James!” Peter hissed, throwing his comforter off and reaching for his friends.

They stirred groggily, rubbing at their eyes. Sirius pulled his pillow over his head, thoroughly in denial of the morning’s arrival.

“Get up!” Peter urged, pulling the pillow away from Sirius’ face and smacking him hard with it. “Remus isn’t here!”

At his words, James and Sirius both sat bolt upright, panic written clearly across their faces.

“Wha?” Sirius mumbled, still half asleep.

“He didn’t come back this morning, I don’t know where he is,” Peter repeated, his voice coming out desperate and scared.

They all vaulted out of bed, pulling on their robes in a silent panic. They sped from the dormitory, not even remotely caring if they woke Lance or Firmin in their haste to leave. They would go to the Hospital Wing first, and if he wasn’t there, they’d see Professor McGonagall. The three boys raced through the halls, their footsteps echoing loudly in the empty corridor.

Sirius rounded the corner first, his hand grabbing the wall to stop himself from flying past the door. Peter and James skidded to a halt behind him, all three coming dangerously close to slamming face first into the oak doors. Peter stepped forward and began pounding on the door, and after briefly exchanging glances, Sirius and James followed suit.

“What on earth –“

The door swung open to reveal a very tired and exasperated Madam Pomfrey. She was wearing her uniform, but her hair was still tied in the plait she’d done for the night, short strands and flyaways escaping from it and sticking out in every direction.

“You three,” she sighed heavily. “What have you done now?”

“Is Remus here?” Peter burst out, hardly letting her finish her question.

“Professor McGonagall brought him in about an hour ago,” Madam Pomfrey answered hesitantly. “He has a great many injuries after last night, some of which are proving rather difficult to heal.”

She stepped aside and allowed them in, shutting the door behind them before walking toward the only occupied bed in the ward.

“Why are they difficult?” James asked, his eyebrows furrowed as he tried to understand.

“Werewolves are magical,” Peter whispered.

“What does that mean?” Sirius asked, both him and James spinning to look at Peter with incredulity.

“Magic can’t always heal magic,” he answered, no less cryptically.

“That is the essence,” Madam Pomfrey agreed. “Healing often works under the principle that natural illnesses and injuries can be healed, but unnatural ones cannot. That is to say, getting sick or breaking a bone in a fall are easy things to treat. But things that are inflicted by spells or curses or magical beings often prove more difficult. There are more mild examples where spells replicate the effects of a natural injury – using a spell to break a bone is really the same as a fall. It requires slightly stronger magic to heal, but it can be done. Then there are spells that have unnatural consequences – curses, jinxes, hexes. In moderate cases, a counter-spell may exist which would allow us to remove the effects. But a more severe spell that damages the body or the mind... that is often not something that can be undone. Individuals tortured with the Cruciatus curse may find that they have long lasting aches and pains that no treatment will alleviate. Magical creatures often fall into this last category. Their wounds are often very resistant to magic and can be quite difficult to heal, and the more serious the injury, the greater the challenge. Remus has been lucky until now – his wounds have all been relatively superficial. Small cuts and scrapes, the occasional broken bone. Mild enough injuries to heal on their own or with minimal attention. But last night was different. I’m afraid Mr. Lupin sustained severe, possibly life-threatening, injuries. I think he is out of danger now, but it will be some time before he’s completely alright.”

“Can we see him?” Sirius asked, his face as white as a ghost.

“Not at the moment,” Madam Pomfrey said, shaking her head sadly. “I’ve notified his parents of his condition, and I cannot allow visitors now until they give me their consent. Besides, Mr. Lupin is sedated right now, and he needs to rest. Go to class and come back during your break. Perhaps by then I will have better news for you.”

The three boys nodded glumly, knowing that Madam Pomfrey would do her best for their friend. They hated having to leave him, but they had little choice. Sirius stormed out first, his understanding of the matron’s reasoning doing little to quell his annoyance or his fear, James following close behind, and Peter leaving last, with a fleeting glance at the obscured bed at the end of the ward and an apologetic smile for Madam Pomfrey.

They trudged back up to their dormitory to change into proper clothes and grab their book bags, before making their way to the Great Hall. But their escapade had taken longer than they realized, leaving them only enough time to grab a few slices of toast to scarf down as they walked to their first class. Peter chewed on his lip anxiously as Sirius scowled, but James was unreadable. He could see the wheels spinning in his friend’s brain, thinking something very intensely, but he had no idea what it might be. All three of them collapsed into their seats when they reached the Defense Against the Dark Arts classroom, tiredly pulling out their books.

Professor Al-Naaji opened the door from her office and stepped out into the classroom, commanding the attention of all her students from the moment she joined their midst. She was wearing deep crimson robes with intricate patterns embroidered in black thread, and her bushy hair hung wild around her shoulders. Dark eyes scanned the room, pausing over Remus’ empty seat before moving on.

“Sabah al-khair, class,” she said at last, moving to stand at the edge of her desk.

“Sabah al-noor, Professor,” they replied, echoing the greeting she had taught them on their first day of class.

“Today we will be starting a new unit, and learning all about boggarts,” she began. “Don’t worry, it won’t be on your exam. Boggarts are shape shifting creatures that live in small, dark spaces, like cupboards or cabinets or old school trunks. Has anyone here ever encountered a boggart before, or heard their parents talk about one?”

A few of the students raised their hands.

“Excellent. And does anybody know what boggarts do?” She paused as the class gave her confused looks, and then amended her question. “What shape do they take?”

Angus Brown raised his hand tentatively, and Professor Al-Naaji nodded at him in acknowledgement.

“Whatever freaks us out most,” Angus said, his cheeks turning a little pink at the titters of laughter that floated through the classroom.

“Yes, more or less. Boggarts take the shape of whatever our deepest fear is, whether or not we realize it,” the Professor explained. “They feed off the panic and distress of the sudden realization. In that respect, they are the complete opposite of dementors, who feed off the prolonged suffering and despair of their victims. Dementors feed on the soul of an individual, while boggarts feed on the energy created by the rapid changes in emotional state.”

They scribbled notes furiously as Professor Al-Naaji continued to instruct them. Their lessons were always set up so that Mondays were theoretical and Thursdays were practical, and James idly wondered if they would get to face a real boggart in that week’s practical lesson.

When the class ended, everyone began to put their books away and take out the scrolls of parchment that they had written their homework on. A distressing thought suddenly hit James. Remus. He worked so hard to stay on top of his classwork, and Professor Al-Naaji was strict about homework being submitted on time. And yet Remus must have forgotten to give them the assignment to turn in. It was hardly surprising given how affected he had been by this transition, but it was a very big deal. It was one of the last assignments of the term, and it had been closing out a large unit on water-dwelling creatures, so it was worth a large part of their grade.

Frantically, James tapped his want to the top of his essay, keeping his eyes on Professor Al-Naaji as she worked her way around the classroom collecting the rolls of parchment from each student. His name vanished from the top of the essay, and he grabbed his quill, scrawling Remus’ name instead. James blew on the ink as subtly as he could to try to dry it before he had to turn it in.

When Professor Al-Naaji reached their table, James and Peter held up their two rolls of parchment. James felt strangely nervous, his heart beating so fast that his hands were shaking.

“Remus asked me to turn this in for him,” he said, handing over his own essay.

“And where is yours?” she asked in reply.

“I don’t have it,” James answered, his cheeks turning pink.

“Mr. Potter,” Professor Al-Naaji began in a stern voice, but her eyes flicked to the parchment he had turned over. “Please see me after class.”

James nodded, and she moved on to collect the other students’ essays. When everyone had turned their homework in, they were dismissed, and the students filed out. With a glance at James, Peter left too. When everyone was gone, James approached Professor Al-Naaji’s desk, where she sat peering at him curiously.

“So...” she said, tapping her fingers together. “This is Remus’ homework?”

“Yes, Professor,” he answered, swallowing nervously.

“And you’re positive about that?” she pressed.

“Yes, Professor.”

“Do you mind telling me why you didn’t complete your homework?”

“I...” James paused. He hadn’t been ready for that. “I just... I don’t know, I just didn’t finish it, I guess.”

“You don’t have any better reason than that?” she asked.

“No, ma’am,” he answered.

“Okay,” she sighed. “You know the policy?”

“Yes, Professor.”

“Very well, you may go.”

James stood and left the classroom, letting the door click behind him. Professor Al-Naaji sat at her desk, staring at the essay he had handed her. Sure, it had Remus’ name written across the top in slightly smudged ink, but the handwriting was so obviously Potter’s. Despite her policy, she was oddly proud of James for sacrificing his own grades to protect his friend. It was silly, and unnecessary, but it was sweet and brave too. She decided that she’d give him credit for it, just this once. She often felt that sometimes kids deserved to be rewarded more for being kind to their classmates.

#james potter #remus lupin #peter pettigrew #sirius black #marauders #hp #gen writes #qimh #Better Together

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poony-madfoot · 6 years

Text

Artsy- Part 1

Pairing: Young!Remus x reader

A/n:. The reader is an artist and she loves to sketch, and sometimes, write. The reader starts drawing Remus on her sketchpad a lot when she develops a liking towards him and somehow loses it, only for Sirius and Remus to find it. I wanted to write a big one, so decided to make it into 2 parts. Hope you like it, thanks :)

The History of Magic class was so boring, that despite you sketching without listening to a word of it, you started feeling sleepy. You tried to draw a semi- transparent figure and some ordinary classroom objects behind it , inspired from your scene at the moment, but your eyes became hazy and you were clearly making too many blunders on your sketchpad. Losing the interest, you put down your muggle mechanical pencil you bought in the summer and the put your sketchpad aside.

Remus Lupin was the only one listening to the class. The rest of the Marauders were asleep in different ways- Sirius on his shoulder, James with his head on the desk, occasionally starting up with “What? Evans?” And falling on to the desk again, and Peter was asleep sitting up, muttering something to himself. You looked over to the guys, whom everyone knew- they were so popular, but you never really talked to any of them. As though he knew you were looking, Remus looked back at you. You flushed and looked down in 0.468 seconds, trying to cover your cheeks. You didn’t know when you fell asleep, but you woke up again when you heard collective stomps of students leaving the class. You picked your bag up hurriedly, remembering you had transfiguration next, and scurried to class. On the desk where you stupid up from, lay your most priced possession- your sketchbook, your pencil just beside it.

Before class, when you fished through your bag for your transfiguration textbook, you realised your sketchbook was missing. Your eyes widened and you let out an internal scream. It meant everything to you. You got up to get back to Mr. Binns’ class again, when McGonagall came scooting in with a sharp face. Seeing you on your feet, about to leave, she said, “Yes, Y/L/N?”, to which you promptly sat back down. I hope no no one else finds it in that classroom, you thought. I hope no one looks into it, you prayed.

After class, you ran like your life depended on it. The corridors were crowded with students leaving their classrooms for lunch but you didn’t care, you wanted to get to the class. You were trying to catch air as you were breathing heavily, you were tired and hungry, and that sketchbook had so many secrets- BANG!

You crashed into a tall, lean but strong figure because you felt a leap of pain in your right shoulder where you hit the person. “Hey! So sorry!”, someone said as they took your hand and tried to pull you up. You recognised the voice as soon as your thoughts reverted back from the mini blackout you had coz of the sudden crash.

“Yeah, I’m fine, Remus. Thanks!”

“You alright? You seem like you’re in an awful lot of hurry”, he said, smirking a little.

You bet I’m alright, you thought, searching for words. The boy you’ve had a crush on for two years was finally talking to you. “Yeah I’m fine, really! I just was rushing to check-”

And you suddenly remembered why you were running in the first place. You desperately wished you started there in that moment longer, but you had to rush.

“Sorry, I gotta rush. Thank again, see you!”

You ran off before he could call you out or say something. You flew over to the empty class where History of Magic was held two hours ago, and skied to the place where you sat. Nothing. Your lips formed a pout as you hovered all over the desk, looked under, looked at other tables, and even on the floor. Soon you’ve searched every dusty little corner of the classroom but couldn’t find it. You were devastated. With your head flopped down and arms in the pockets of your robe, you walked towards your house common room. You had some real good sketches and poetry in there that you dare didn’t share with anyone. But what mattered to you most was how you had innumerable poetry and sketches about the boy you completely adored. You knew it was creepy, but you didn’t really draw him. You drew animated sketches with his features, and those qualities of his that made him, him. You would be proud of them and you were satisfied with just drawing him whenever you thought of him. You never had to fuss about it, it just naturally came to you. Whatever you drew, you pictured beforehand and when you sat down to draw a person, all you could think of these days was Remus so you just went ahead and sketched what came into mind and it always magically turned out to be a caricatured resemblance of Remus Lupin.

You tickled the pear and tapped the Barrell to the rhythm of Helga Hufflepuff when you heard hushed voices towards the end of the corridor. It was very quite so you could hear them faintly, but could make out what they were saying.

“I’m telling you Moony, this looks awful lot like you-”

“It can’t be me, Pads, now can we just give it back to Y/N?”

“No but look! This one has hair just like yours and green eyes and he’s sitting on the desk, taking down notes, listening to class- you always listen in class, Rem-”

“I’m pretty sure many others listen to class and take down notes, Sirius, that’s what we’re supposed to be doing, you know”

“Yeah but we don’t, usually. Anyway, look- there’s like fifty thousand..bloody good ones, Merlin…they all look like they’re of the same person and DUDE he has got SCARS TOO!”

“Wait, really?”

“YES looks like Y/N is obsessed with you too, Moony, look they’re poems here too!”

“Wow, that’s really-”

You heard a chuckle and you were flushed red in your cheeks already. You sprinted over to the edge of the corridor and turned to two slouched boys looking over something that looked like an A3 sized spiral sketchbook-

“Hey! Give me back my sketchbook!”

You ran to where they stood and grabbed the book from Sirius’ hands.

“We’re so sorry, Y/N, I told Sirius we mustn’t look into others’ property but he wouldn’t listen”, explained Remus with an apologetic face and really cute puppy eyes.

“You were looking in there too, Remus!”, you pointed out to which he opened his mouth to say something and looked at Sirius, then down. “Besides”, you added before either of them could speak, “Isn’t it mean to pick up stuff that doesn’t belong to you?”, you asked politely but with added seriousness to it.

“Oh yeah? Then isn’t it mean of you to draw a book full of sketches of my friend here without him knowing?”, asked Sirius, with his arms crossed and eyebrows raised in question. He had a playful smile on, too, which indicated he was not offended by it, he just wanted to hear what you had to say about it.

“What are you talking about? I didn’t draw Remus, I was just-”

Sirius cut you off with, “Green eyes, scars, gryffindor tie, long face and hair nearly as splendid as mine- Y/N, please! Whom do you want to fool here?”

You wanted to die. There was no way out of this situation. Sirius knows it is Remus that you’ve been drawing. Remus knows it’s Remus you’ve been drawing. You hated yourself. Why did you have to behave like a complete creep, drawing pictures, writing poetry and stuff? You were thinking fast to come up with something to say, figure out a way to explain how you were not being a stalker or something, how you almost thought of telling him about your crush on him. You looked at Remus with a start, expecting him to be creeped out by you and say something, but instead, he just stood there with a small smile and eyes that did not indicate anger at all. Infact, his cheeks were a little pink and his eyes, as though waiting for you to stare into them. Then you remembered what you overheard Sirius say earlier- “looks like Y/N is obsessed with you too, Moony-”

You realised you were looking at Remus for too long and broke the stare, to face Sirius and say something, only to find out- he wasn’t there.

It was just you and Remus in a deserted corridor, and he just found out you might have a huge crush on him.

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lumosinlove · 7 years

Text

The Kitchens

part xi

The sky brightened, the sky darkened, but Sirius never truly felt awake. Time slipped away in different shades, yielding days, then weeks. It was like he had become addicted to a narcotic for the sole purpose of it being ripped away, banned from his veins. And he needed it. God, did he need it. He needed Remus. He couldn’t remember living without Remus—had it really been his entire life? Had he really only met him a few months ago?

Was he really gone?

Nearly every day since Remus had walked away from him at the beach, Sirius went down to the kitchens everyday, peering longingly from behind corners, watching him work. He was not the flushed, smiling picture Sirius had seen the day he found out about the wedding. There was no laughter filtering through the sounds of the crackling fire, in fact, the warm lighting of the flames didn’t match anything about his demeanor at all. His face was shadowed, skin pale despite the heat. His fingers worked as on autopilot, with none of the passion Sirius had so often seen there. Briefly, Sirius pictured walking forward, right in front of Mrs. Potter and everyone, and taking Remus by the waist. He pictured kissing the sun right back into his skin. He could feel himself doing it. He could feel Remus’ laugh against his skin, his hands on his neck, fingers warm from the fire.

Sneaking up on me again, Black?

Unable to watch anymore, he stumbled his way to the lake. He fell into what he imagined to be the imprints of Remus’ knees, the position of grief he had found him in that night. He put his fingers into the sand, letting the grit of it cut under his nails, and looked out over the water. It was perfectly placid. There was no wind, no darting fish making ripples. Completely calm.  Sirius didn’t want to feel relief in how miserable Remus looked. He never wanted Remus to look miserable. But, still, it was a comfort, knowing he was not the only one who couldn’t breathe. In thinking this, he couldn’t decide if it was strange or to be expected that here, on the shore, he could breathe the easiest. It was the source of heartbreak. It was also the last place Remus had held him. Bittersweet. Wasn’t that what their relationship had always been? Right now it felt more bitter.

“Sirius.”

Sirius’ body showed no other sign of surprise other than perhaps his eyes becoming a bit more focused. He hadn’t heard Regulus approach, he’d barely even heard him call his name. Regulus’ sword clinked at his hip as he sat down, perfectly polished boots looking odd with the sand on them. He grabbed a handful of it, watching it slip through his fingers,

“Thought I’d find you out here.”

Sirius didn’t blink, just stared. He felt like his body was unresponsive, even to his own brain telling him to look at Regulus, to get off the stinging sandy shards, to breathe a little deeper, “Did you?”

“Well, you’ve invited me enough times.”

“Well, you’ve never accepted.”

Regulus let out a little huff that might have been a laugh, “Fair enough. Anyhow, it’s also where you use to go after mother-“

“I remember.” Sirius said a little harder, ending the conversation.

“Yes.” Regulus said after a few moments, softly, “Yes, I know you do.” Then a little more strong, “I only meant that you come out here to hide from things.”

This time Sirius did round on him, narrowing his eyes, “And you come out here to what? Find me? Save me?”

Regulus met his gaze, “They were going to kill you.”

“Death is not the worst fate.” Sirius growled.

“It is for the people you leave behind.” Regulus’ mouth formed around the words like he hadn’t meant for them to come so easily.

Sirius blinked at that, his mind, for a moment, awakening again. Looking at his little brother, he suddenly saw a much younger version of Regulus: under the protection of no one but Sirius, keeping close at parties, at dinner. Running out to the lake after him despite Sirius’ protests and pressing cool water to his stinging cheeks. His chest suddenly ached so painfully that he had to arch forward, fold in on himself, as if keeping his ribcage from pressing in on him too tightly.

“Reg…“

Regulus’ cool mask was suddenly gone, perhaps broken at the nickname. His eyebrows uncharacteristically drew together, dark eyes lightening with worry, “No, you have to listen to me, Sirius. I’m not so little anymore, I know what I’m doing. If they killed you, do you really think they would have let me ascend into power? No. The answer is no. You’re right about them, and even mother knows it deep down.” He shook his head, “So, if it makes you feel better… Just… think of it like I was saving the kingdom. Not you. But, even then…” He trailed off, seeming to rally his nerve. His voice came out almost a whisper, “Even then, you must know it was. For you, I mean.”

Sirius looked at him, feeling more beaten to a pulp by Regulus’ words than he ever had by his mother’s fist. What had he even done for Regulus, really, to deserve everything that, as he now saw, Regulus was trying to do for him? Let him follow him around? Take all of the rotten attention of their mother when, really, it had only been set on him anyway? He’d done nothing. He should say thank you. He should say anything, really. Regulus just looked back at him, eyes calm and patient, but not exactly waiting, not for words he knew might not come. The sun was low in the sky now and Sirius finally looked away, squinting into it, letting it create a throbbing behind his eyes, “I’m… realizing that.”

It was the best he could do.

It wasn’t.

Regulus sighed, very lightly, “I just…” The soft sound came again, “I hope you’ll be happy, Sirius.”

Sirius made a noise this time, only not so soft, “Not likely.”

“No,” Sirius turned back to his brother at the firm hand on his shoulder. His eyes were still calm, but blazing, “No, you could be. Right?” Sirius didn’t understand the question, “You know that. You could be.”

“What makes you think that?” Sirius snapped. Regulus was getting dangerously close to the truth: Sirius could be happy. Could have been happy. He’d had his chance.

“What makes you think otherwise?” Regulus said back, maddeningly calm.

“Because I was born into this life-”

“And he was born into his.” Sirius’ blood ran cold. Regulus pressed on, insistent, “Yet, here you both are.”

Sirius swallowed. He knew how his face must look bur Regulus was making no moves to reassure him. His eyes were as steady as ever. He could feel his heartbeat in his throat and he tried to clear it away, “How-“ He tried again, “How did…”

“I knew you had someone. You already knew that.” Regulus let his hand drop, the band around his finger with the small RB flashing delicately, “Then I saw your ring on his hand at dinner, I… I figured it was him you ran after when the brought up the wedding-”

“God…” Sirius pressed his hands to his face but Regulus pulled them away, gripping his wrists.

“Sirius, it isn’t a problem. Not to me-“

“How can you say that?” Sirius looked at him, eyes stinging painfully, “It’s nothing but a problem. God, it’s one thing to fall in love with a girl you can’t have because at least that’s normal, but I-“ His voice broke, “I had to go and…” Sirius closed his eyes, voice trailing off. He clenched his teeth, dipping his head.

“How can you say that? Jesus, look at me.” Sirius found his brother’s eyes again only, this time, he didn’t look so young. He looked older, and pained. Regulus wet his lips before speaking, starting a few different times, desperate for Sirius to understand, “Do you… Do you know that you’re the only person I care about? You’re it. The only fucking person. I don’t really know why right now. We haven’t exactly been brotherly. But you are. And I’ve seen you so unhappy for so long until- this summer, you- you weren’t. I mean- you were more fucking snide than ever but you were grinning and I hadn’t… exactly realized how much I… missed that.” His words came slower, like he was fighting his way through them, coming to an understanding as he spoke.

Sirius fingers closed around Regulus’ wrist as well, gripping tight. Regulus’ face crumbled, just a little,

“I’m only trying to say that… how can love, happiness be abnormal? No matter who it’s with, it’s happiness and you have to fucking chase it. It doesn’t come around that often, not for real.” He shook his head, “Sirius, anyone who knows you knows you don’t want this life. You’ve never wanted this life. You hate everything about it all the way down to sitting up straight at dinner, so…” Regulus shook his head, smiling a little although his voice was thick. Sirius thought he hadn’t seen his brother smile in too, too long, “So, fuck birth. Fuck blood. Chase the happiness.”

“Reg..” Sirius voice was thick too, a rasp, “He’s… He’s all I want.”

“Then do it. For me.” Regulus swallowed, “Do it for you. Do it for me.”

Regulus would give him every reason in the book, as long as Sirius took one and ran with it. He prayed that he would.

Remus splayed his fingers over the soft leather in the early morning darkness of his room. He was kneeled on the splintering floor by his old trunk, holding Sirius’ slippers to his chest, the ring between his fingertips. The soft SB flashed at him, like a taunt. He could almost hate the small inanimate object. For being there, for reminding him so painfully of what he no longer had. Almost. If only he didn’t love it so much. He shifted, sitting back with his knees to his chest, and slipped the soft shoes on. He closed his eyes.

He hated how thankful he was for these small things. They were like direct links to his memory, triggers, key words that jumpstarted feelings and emotions and longing all at once. He felt the slippers and he felt their first kiss, the healing salve on his fingertips, Sirius’ warm hands on his ankles. When he ran his fingers over the ring, entirely different things were renewed. Sirius’ body against his own, them laughing softly until the early morning, Sirius’ tears against his skin, the bread basket slipping through his fingers. The beginning and end of a relationship. Remus dropped the ring, and went back to stroking the tops of the slippers over his feet. He found he preferred beginnings. He had to get up. He had to make the bread, the eggs. Sirius’ eggs. Who knew cooking, something he’d always loved, could be so cruel?

There was a knock at his door, making him jump.

“Remus?”

James’ voice came muffled through the thin wood.

“Just a minute!” He knew his voice came out too loud, a little strained, as he scrambled to shut the slippers and ring back in his trunk, not bothering to cover them with books this time. It was only James but these things felt they belonged to him, and to his eyes only, “Yeah, come in.”

James opened the door, poking his head in first and offering a rather sad smile, “Hello.” He sing-songed the word a little, definitely trying to deduce Remus’ mental state, and maybe defuse it, “Alright?”

Remus swiped his apron from the hook by his dresser, tying it behind his back, “Yeah, alright. You?”

James hummed, “Yeah, I’m good. I’m- I’m great. Happy Saturday! Good. Nice, lovely, Saturday.” James nodded all the while, swinging back and forth on his heels, and giving Remus an exaggerated smile.

Remus sighed, “I’m fine, James.”

“Me too! That’s so…” He rubbed the back of his neck, “So coincidental.. Not that that… matters. Okay. I’m just gonna…”

“Stop?” Remus supplied.

“Precisely. Exactly. Yes. Definitely.”

“James.”

James sighed, smile dropping. He held his hands up in surrender, “I’m sorry, I’m nervous!”

Remus raised an eyebrow, “Nervous?”

James sighed, falling onto Remus’ bed, “Yes. God, I feel like I’m carrying fucking lead in my pocket. Sirius asked me to- God, do I look like I’m sweating?” He took out a slip of neatly folded parchment from his pocket, fiddling with it, “Jesus, Sirius is right, I never should be in the King’s Guard.”

Remus’ heart, at the first sight of the slip of paper, had jumped to his throat, “James, what is-“

James blew the hair off his forehead, looking bewilderedly at the ceiling, “I mean, honestly, I think I’d fucking pass out-“

“Jesus fucking Christ, give me that.” He all but ripped the note from James’ hands, unfolding it, already holding his breath.

The stables. Monday. Midnight.

He flipped it over and gripped the bed post with the amount of relief filling his chest.

Who said anything about goodbye?

Sirius had been restless the entire day. He knew Remus had work, but ever since the second James had told him Remus’ response to the note, he’d thought maybe Remus would ditch. For him, for this. Just one day. He knew he wouldn’t. He sort of loved him for it, even if it made him crazy.

He felt like he had watched the sky darken shade by shade, eyes shifting between the sky and the bookshelf. He’d taken dinner in his room but he had left his tray untouched, too consumed, too relieved.

He was going to say sorry first. He was going to apologize for not telling him, for letting him leave in the first place. He had never said it, after all. Not really. Then he was going to tell him he loved him. Because he did, so, so much. Then he was going to hold him. Then, he would tell him their plan.

When Remus walked through the bookcase, Sirius forgot all of this.

He was kissing Remus before he took another breath. His hands pulled him into the room and were under his shirt in a second, desperately taking in his warm skin. Remus was just as eager, his fingers threading through Sirius’ hair and pulling, deepening the kiss. Sirius’ palms made their way to Remus’ arse and he lifted, guiding Remus’ legs around his waist and pressing him against the bedpost for more leverage. They kissed and kissed, taking long inhales of oxygen through their nose for as long as they could, until even that proved too little. They broke apart, breathing heavily into each other, lips brushing with each breath.

“Hello.” Sirius mumbled, dragging his lips over Remus’ skin to press a sloppy kiss to Remus’ jaw.

He felt Remus’ cheek dimple when he smiled, and he nudged the soft indent with his nose, “Hello…”

“I have,” Sirius pressed another kiss, “So many things to say to you.” And another, “I just can’t quite remember what, right now.”

Remus guides their mouths back together, hands on Sirius’ cheeks, “I should probably make you say them.” He let his head fall back against the post, letting a breathy moan out as Sirius started trailing his jaw and neck with his tongue, “But I-fuck-I don’t feel like fucking talking, I-“ Remus let out a breath, blinking his eyes open and hand coming to thread through Sirius’ hair at the back of his head. He tried to glance downward towards Sirius, startled by his sudden slowing of movement, of kisses. What had been nearly biting a moment ago was now less frequent and soft, soft presses. He could feel Sirius’ forehead against his shoulder and the heaving of his chest, “Hey..” He slid his hand to Sirius’ cheek, trying to coax him into looking at him, “Hey, what happened down there? Love-“

“‘m fine.” His voice was muffled by Remus’ skin, but he did in fact, sound find, “‘m just… I thought…” He sighed, breath warming Remus’ shoulder, and pressed his nose right to Remus’ neck, inhaling shakily, “Just hopelessly happy to be… here again.”

Remus’ heart contracted rather painfully at that, and he was suddenly very aware that Sirius was holding him, against him, speaking to him. The thought made him breathe shakily too. He dipped his head down, nosing against Sirius’ cheek and temple until he was able to press their cheeks together, faces hidden in each other’s necks. They stayed there, hugging, re-memorizing each other, until Sirius pressed Remus more closely to him, then laid him softly down on the bed. He smiled a little when he tried to get up and Remus didn’t let go.

“Was just gonna budge you up. Can’t have our feet dangling off.”

“We can if it means I can still feel you.”

Sirius laughed and, in one quick motion, ducked from within Remus’ arms and grabbed his hips, throwing him playfully against the pillows and launching himself after him, sealing the attack with a hard, long, kiss.

He laid against him, forearms only supporting a bit of his weight, “How’s that?”

Remus hummed and then turned Sirius onto his side, situating himself until they were face to face, sharing a pillow. He tangled their still shoed feet together and laced their fingers between them, “Good.”

Sirius was content to lay that way forever, with Remus’ thumb stroking his knuckles and his eyes looking softly at him, his brows slightly furrowed.

Sirius released one of his hands to smooth it, “You’re thinking awfully hard.”

Remus smiled a little, “You did delivery me a note that suggested not too subtly a forbidden get away.” Sirius rolled his eyes a little and looped his arms around Remus’ waist, pulling their chests almost together, “But…” Sirius nudged their noses together as way of telling him to go on. Remus wet his lips before continuing, “What did happen? To make you do this. Send the note, what… what changed?”

For a few moments, Sirius did nothing more than take a rather large breath, “I… Well, first, nothing changed. Re, I never didn’t want to be with you.” He hesitated, “You… You know that, right?”

Remus nodded mutely, pressing a kiss to Sirius’ fingers.

“I just realized-“ Sirius laughed a little, more to himself than anyone, “I was helped to realize that I… Well, I don’t have to be unhappy, do I? I can be the happiest person in the entire world if I want.” He reached out, palm to Remus’ jaw, thumb trailing over the high of his cheekbone, “I just have to go for it.”

Remus felt the worry in his chest ease at this, but only a little. The doubt was still there, gnawing at his chest. He leaned into Sirius’ palm, biting his lip.

Sirius turned his head a little, “That… That wasn’t what you wanted to hear-“

“No.” Remus said quickly, “No, that was… perfect. I never thought I’d hear that.”

Sirius pulled Remus towards him more insistently, “Then what? Anything, Re. I’ll give you… get you, help you with anything. You know that-”

“What if I don’t make you happy.” Remus whispered it, looking down, focusing his eyes on Sirius’ chest, the fine silk of his shirt, “What if I’m…”

“No.” It was all Sirius said, simply and hard. He shook his head again, raising Remus’ eyes to his own, “No. That-“ He kept shaking his head, like Remus had just said the most outrageous thing in the world, “It isn’t even possible. Not to me. Not now, not ever.”

“Sirius-“  “Now, I’m not saying we’re always going to get along. I’m a prick and you like to call me out on it which does get annoying sometimes.” They both let out slightly watery laughs and Sirius pressed a quick kiss to Remus’ mouth, “But listen to me. Re… God, this isn’t even about what I’m leaving behind. It isn’t even that I’m happier because I’m choosing a life with you over my life here. Yes, it is better. By mountains it is better, but… I could have the most glorious life in the world,” His voice had lowered, and Remus suddenly felt as though the world had stopped to listen to Sirius, “and I’d still choose you.” Sirius passed his fingers through the fringe that curled thickly over Remus’ forehead, “Do you know why?”

Remus could do nothing but stare mutely. He didn’t. He felt frozen, in a trance, like his chest was about to burst. Because he knew what was coming. He knew what was coming and he would sooner die than not respond this time. He shook his head.

And Sirius smiled, “Well. Then I do have one more thing to say, don’t I?” Then his face grew more serious, “And I… I rather hope you do too.”

“I do.” Remus breathed.

He heard the way Sirius’ breath hitch, and suddenly Sirius was rolling on top of him, bracketing him in, and Remus could feel nothing but his warmth.

This time Remus’ eyes stayed firmly locked with Sirius’. He didn’t want to see him say it. He wanted to see him feel it. And they were blue, and grey, and worried, and happy, and so chock full of the unsaid words that Remus could almost see it spill over onto the rest of his face, into the set of his mouth and the grip of his palms.

“I love you.” Sirius just breathed it, voice trembling under its weight, “Remus…”

“I love you.” Remus said it too softly, then again too loudly, “I love you.” Suddenly he felt like he had so many to make up for, so much to to make up for, and he couldn’t stop saying it. He held Sirius’ neck, his cheeks, his shoulders, and said it again, and again, “I love you.”

And then they were kissing and laughing into each other’s mouths, or maybe crying, and Remus said it some more, this time mixed it with Sirius’. And the words held other words; I believe you. I trust you. You’re enough. You’re everything.

And soon, they didn’t even have to say it to know it was there.

“Sirius…” Remus said into his neck, kissing the taught skin there, the pulse point. I love you.

And Sirius just laughed, a sound of pure relief. And suddenly Remus was being held so tightly he couldn’t even kiss anymore, just laugh too.  “Oh, god, I have to tell you-“ Sirius gasped, laughing and kissing Remus again, cheeks hot and flushed.

“‘bout?”

“Our new life.” I love you.

A sort of thrill went up Remus’ spine at the word our. I love you.

Sirius hooked their ankles together. His eyes were bright and excited, palms warm against Remus’ cheeks, “Listen. I have a cousin. In France, her name is Andromeda. She and her husband, they’re like us, they— well, let’s just say my family didn’t approve of their match. Of him. So, she lives in France now, in a comfortable home. She escaped. We can too, we can stay with them until we get our feet under us somehow. I have money of my own saved, not too much but-“

“I do too.” Remus cut in, then, a little shyly, “Really not too much but…”

Sirius kissed him, again, and again, before he gasped, trying to talk and breathe and kiss at the same time, “Remus. Re, the people there, they’re… more open.” He shrugged one shoulder, “Some of them, at least. I… God, ‘m out of breath.” He laughed.

Remus laughed a little too, soothing his hands through his hair, content to just watch the way Sirius’ eyes were lit up, “The point is, we can be together. Maybe not always in the open, but-“

And this time, Remus was the one to kiss him, lips hard and needing, neck craning off the sheets. He panted into his mouth, hands gripping his hair,

“Now you listen.” He said, “I could spend my life only kissing you behind closed doors. Just so long as you are there to kiss.”

And they held each other, shedding clothes, pressing close, and knowing that a new life, their life, was only a few days away.

(A/N: One more chapter left I think! Sadly, I’m not sure I’ll be able to work on this fic again for about two weeks. My best friend is coming to visit and I haven’t seen her in a year! But I hope you all love this, and I’m sorry for the delay but I’ll try to have it up asap! <3 Thanks everyone for reading!)

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