#i am writing this instead of eating dinner. somebody push me out of bed and then down the stiars

[six-of-cringe]

Of course the crows would continue having a blast making fun of rich high society Kerch stuff post-canon, but considering that Wylan has zero idea of what normal looks like, having only ever been either in a super rich but super detrimental household or homeless, everything would be a fun little game of "Is This a 'Rich People' Thing or Is This a 'Jan van Eck is Fucking Insane' Thing?"

Like the crows would be just teasing about galas and bed warmers but when Wylan tries to roll with it he accidentally ends up whipping out the most deranged occurrences imaginable which were not, in fact, the ✨Silly Rich Person Tingz✨ he thought they were.

#this has the potential to be so comedic but so sad at the exact same time #wylan would see a 9yo mercher's kid call their dad da instead of sir and be like. i believe i have just witnessed a high society faux pas #the crows just wanna poke a lil fun but wylan keeps killing the mood by mistake #some things are rich people things that wylan accepted as normal things #some things are your father hoping you will die #which is it? guess Wylan and his plucky band of silly goofy friends will have to find out! likely over the course of many years! #'who's gonna tell him' - everyone else in the conversation #i am writing this instead of eating dinner. somebody push me out of bed and then down the stiars #wylan van eck #jan van eck #six of crows #soc #shadow and bone #six of crows memes #soc shitpost #except it's a little more verbose and a bit more of a bummer than a shitpost

[kaepop-trash]

hello hello! i am immediately dropping an ask after reading your message. ;; i really loved unintended consequences! like that is sooo 10/10! may i ask for a sequel please? i am willing to wait. please don't feel pressured and take your time!! write it whenever you are ready. i have subscribed to you so i could just keep myself updated if you have posted it!

So I might not be able to squeeze a full-fledged sequel in. But I had an idea I found interesting enough to pursue and it will go under the miscellaneous tag. I don't usually write domestic AUs but seemingly this one writes itself a little too effortlessly. At 4k words, this one is hardly a drabble at this point. So I'm hoping this satisfies you. If I get more asks, I'll keep writing more "snippets" like this.

I hope you like this.

_

It was Friday.

Friday meant spending the weekend with Johnny. Friday meant a slightly better passage of time compared to the weekdays.

Johnny would wake up early, coaxing her awake with him to spend the morning drinking a cup of coffee till it was cold and talking about the week. Every achievement and frustration shared as the other listened and acknowledged every little detail.

Weekends were always a welcome relief, but with Johnny they were like a haven.

_

"I've had a fuck all day." Johnny groaned as he walked into her room. It was his turn to come to her apartment this week.

He walked in, roughly tugging his tie like it suffocated him. When his eyes landed on the bed he stopped his struggle.

(Y/N) lay on her stomach on her bed, in a t-shirt that belonged to him once upon a time. Her thighs remained bare, the rhythmic kicking of her legs making her ass bounce.

Johnny thought he would lose his mind.

"What happened?" She mumbled. Scrolling through her phone, her voice was distracted.

Johnny swallowed, the air in his throat suddenly too thick. He forced himself to look away, "A client messed up some paperwork and I lost a lot of money because of it." His jaw clamped tight at the memory again.

She put her phone down, turning over and sitting up. "Shit." She grimaced, looking up at him with careful eyes.

"Exactly." He groaned, running a hand through his hair.

He looked back at her after a moment, eyes raking over her frame, "When did you steal that?" He pointed to her chest, at the navy blue t-shirt he actually really liked.

"At some point." She shrugged. "Want it back?" She batted her lashes at him.

Johnny smirked, aware that she asked knowing what his answer would be. "Keep it." He scoffed, giving in. "It looks better on you anyway." He laughed when her lips stretched into a smile.

Johnny sighed, his smile faltering again.

"Want to eat something?" She questioned.

Johnny turned back to her, her knees digging into the mattress as she looked at him with soft eyes. He gave her a slow nod.

"There's some pasta leftover in the fridge. Unless you want something else. We can always order." She turned back to pick up her phone.

Johnny groaned, the sound making her turn back to him, surprised. He slid closer to her, wrapping his arms around her waist. He raised a meaningful brow at her, rewarded by the tantalizing red her cheeks flushed with.

He waited patiently; she gave him a nod, her eyes fluttering down. Johnny smirked, it was a shy mood today it seemed. Something he would enjoy like any other mood she had.

"Lie down." He said softly, releasing his hold on her hips. She pushed back up the mattress, reaching up just enough for her calves to hang over the edge.

She kept his eyes on him as he pulled his tie off over his head and while he took his jacket off. Slowly, he folded the sleeves of his shirt. She bit her lip at the sight, leaving Johnny to revel. He knew she liked it when he did that.

"You better not be wearing a bra under that, baby." He walked up closer.

She slowly shook her head and Johnny felt all the blood in his body rush to his dick.

He groaned, "You like that don't you? My shirt brushing over your naked tits." When she nodded he felt himself twitch. "Words." He demanded.

"Of course I do." It was a simple declaration.

It drove him wild.

Almost too slowly, Johnny sat down on his knees. This was his favourite thing, he had realised over the course of the year and some they had been together. Being on his knees in front of her was something he could do every living hour of every day and still not get enough of it. He loved taking his time enjoying the view.

But today, Johnny was pissed. He wanted to hear her moans, he wanted to make her come undone fast and dirty so he could relish in the idea of it.

He hooked his fingers under the band of her panty, pulling it off swiftly.

"Somebody's uncharacteristically eager today." Her soft voice contrasted the jest of her sentence.

"What was it last time?" He questioned, earning her eyes on him. "Fastest I made you cum." He clarified, tilting his head to catch her eyes.

She bit her lip, chewing on the flesh before releasing it with a soft flick. "Ten minutes." She informed him.

"We'll do seven today. Set the timer." He ordered. Quickly she reached for her phone, doing what she was told. Johnny bit back a smile.

"If you lose you're buying dinner. I want Sushi." She pointed her phone at him.

A laugh left his chest— a breathless release. "Wretched girl." He huffed. "Fine. You have a deal."

"Go." She put her phone down. Head falling back immediately as he plunged two fingers into her without missing a beat.

"Always so wet for me, princess. You are always spoiling me." He hummed.

He reached down to flick his tongue against her clit, earning a moan from her. "And forever eager." He spoke against her clit, making her hips buck up and her hand fly to his hair. She gripped his root tightly, he groaned. She stuttered at the sensation.

Johnny wasted no time picking up pace. His tongue lapped at her bundle of nerves while he added a third finger, his rhythm brutal.

"Fuck, Johnny." She screamed, a rare occurrence that filled Johnny with so much pride that he only increased his persistence. When he grazed his teeth against her clit her legs started shaking, a string of his name leaving her lips as her back arched. When her fist loosened on his scalp, he sat back and reached for her phone.

"Six minutes forty-eight seconds." He beamed. "You owe me sushi." He dropped the phone back onto the bed.

"After that I'll get you the most expensive one." She spoke between gasping for air. Johnny chuckled, wiping his chin on the back of his hand and standing up to get rid of his clothes.

"Ready for more?" He questioned.

"Am I ever, Mr. Suh." Her chest heaved.

Johnny gazed down at her body; tracing the sight of the t-shirt raised till her neck, her skin covered in sweat and a single breast out from no doubt being inside her own palm moments ago. Johnny bit his lip.

"Sit up." His voice dropped so impossibly low. She turned her head to look at him, still heaving from his previous efforts.

She sat up, knees digging into the mattress. He came closer, peeling his t-shirt off her while he kept his eyes glued on hers. The next moment, her arms were wrapped around his neck and her lips were on his.

He put his palm on her back to steady the both of them, slowly pushing her back down on her back onto the mattress and hovering over her.

She swirled her tongue in his mouth, enjoying taking control of the kiss while his hands roamed over her body. When he pinched her nipple she gasped in his mouth.

Johnny didn't miss the opportunity to slide his tongue into her mouth this time, softly pushing her tongue back so he could do his own exploring. She let him, focusing her hands in his hair instead and drawing her nails down the back of his neck— something she knew he liked a little too much.

The sound of her phone ringing made her yank her head back so fast that her neck audibly cracked. She massaged her the muscle with one hand while she used the other to push him back.

"Leave it." His voice was breathless.

"That's the ringtone I have for my mother." She groaned, equally breathless herself. "She hardly calls. It could be an emergency." She sighed.

Reluctantly, Johnny moved back. She reached over to grab her phone as he lay his head on a pillow.

"Hello?" She questioned once she put the phone to her ear. "Yeah?" She answered some question on the line. Johnny put his arms under his head, amusement dancing in his eyes as he heard her try to slow her breathing from his craved pace. "You what?" She sat up straight. A quizzical furrow formed on Johnny's brow. "No of course I don't mind. It's just so sudden. How long?" She turned back to Johnny, giving him an urgent look and gesturing to get out of bed. He raised a brow but complied. "Alright. See you." Her voice was too cheerful.

When she hung up she sprung out of bed herself. "Get dressed!" She looked around the floor frantically. "My mother is in a cab ten minutes away." She whined.

For a second Johnny was too dumbstruck to move. When she threw his shirt at his face, he recovered, picking up the rest of his clothes.

"What's happening?" He asked calmly, hoping his demeanor would calm her down as well.

"I don't know. Jesus! She's so outrageous!" (Y/N) groaned. "She called me to tell me that she's going to Texas to meet that aunt of mine." She paused, looking up as she slid her t-shirt back on. "You know the one who's always sending me pictures of pregnant girls my age on Facebook?"

Johnny nodded.

"Yeah. That bitch." She groaned. Johnny bit back a smile. "So she's flying to Austin and her layover happened to be New York and it's 12 hours long so she decided to surprise me, apparently." She sighed. "Fuck." She groaned. "I can't believe this is actually happening right now." She groaned the second time.

"Okay." Johnny said. "I should go take a shower." He nodded.

She stared at him, blinking like a lost lamb. "You want to stay?" She questioned.

"Of course." He furrowed his brows, "Are you hiding me from her or something?" He joked.

"No." She said too soon, pausing. "Kind of." She winced.

Johnny seemed taken aback.

"It's not what you think!" She walked over to him. "I'm not, like, embarrassed of you."

"That sounds reassuring, (Y/N)." He scoffed.

"Hear me out!" She urged, "My mother cannot know I'm having sex outside the bond of marriage. She doesn't even believe in casual dating." Johnny gave her a questioning look.

She sighed, "She's the 'satisfied with nothing but the best for her children' kind of mom. She means well but she will make you uncomfortable if she sees you at my house at eleven at night. She's very reserved and it comes off as rude at times." She warned, speaking too fast— clearly nervous.

Johnny shrugged, raising two fingers to tug on her nose. "I can handle it. She's your mother after all."

"Johnny." She urged.

"Do you not want me to meet your mother?" He questioned bluntly.

"You know that isn't it." She sighed.

"Then I can handle it." He assured her again.

_

She was still reeling over the moment her mother walked into her apartment, the look in Johnny's eyes when she turned and introduced him as her 'friend' and the look in her mother's eyes when she noted her daughter's hesitation before she blurted the vague label out. If either of them had any reservations, they did not voice it.

That was how she ended up sitting at her dining table with Johnny beside her and her mother opposite them. Her mother gave him occasional glances, but to her credit stayed quiet.

"So, Mrs. (Y/L/N). I've heard that you're a fan of travelling. (Y/N) is always talking about the places you visit."

"Yes. Since my children are all grown up now, I'm trying to live a little before heaven calls." She told him. Johnny was caught off-guard by the response, so he blinked and gave her a nod. (Y/N) put a hand on her forehead.

Her mother put her cutlery down on the table, earning both (Y/N) and Johnny's attention. "What do you do, young man?"

"If you're going to ask him personal questions at least use his name." (Y/N) groaned at her mother.

"I'm an investment banker." Johnny sounded unfazed.

Her mother lifted a towel to wipe her lip, "So I have you to blame for all the money I lost last year?"

"If you would have asked me, maybe you'd have me to thank for all the money you made." Johnny gave her a grin.

He acquired his first pleasant smile from her mother, "In that case you must be good at what you do. How much do you make?" She questioned with a tone that one would use to ask about the weather.

"Mom!" (Y/N) exasperated.

"What?" Her mother turned to her with a non-committal glance. "If you're telling your friend about my travels then I'm sure you are close enough for me to ask that." She clicked her tongue at her daughter. "Isn't that so, Johnny?" She turned to him.

Yet again, he remained calm. "I make enough, Mrs. (Y/L/N). Especially to take care of the people I intend to and save some for the future." He reached for his glass of water, putting a hand on her thigh under the table.

To add to the impossible situation, her heart and her core both reacted. She wanted to wake up from this nightmare.

She kept her eyes on her mother as Johnny began tracing his thumb in slow strokes across her thigh, pushing under her shorts just enough. Then she saw it, the click of approval in her mother's eyes that seemed to make her chest relax from a hold she didn't realise she had till the moment.

"Not that your daughter needs anybody to take care of her." He glanced towards her, humour in his eyes that felt misplaced till he squeezed her thigh. She bit down on her lip. He seemed pleased, "She's quite capable of taking care of herself, as she insists." He turned away from her glare, back to face her mother, "Speaking as a friend, of course." He smiled politely.

Her mother glanced over towards (Y/N) and the paranoid side in her— the one only reserved for one's parents— wondered if there was even the tiniest chance that her mother could see under the table.

"And how long have you known each other?" Her mother continued her interrogation.

"We met at Sooyoung's wedding." (Y/N) added, needing to distract herself from the warmth of Johnny's hand. "Johnny is Doyoung's friend."

Her mother nodded, adsorbing the knowledge. She turned back to Johnny, bringing her elbows to the table and threading her fingers together thoughtfully. "And how long do you intend to be my daughter's friend?" She said as blatantly as she could.

The question was as thinly veiled as she no doubt intended. Her mother was, after all, the person she learned to be good with words from.

Johnny's hand slipped between her thighs and this time she almost jumped in her chair. "For as long as she'll have me. Longer if I can convince her otherwise." His words made (Y/N) turn to him, emotions bubbling up to her eyes. He turned to her, his own eyes full of meaning. For a second she forgot her mother was sitting across from them.

Her mother, on the other hand, watched the interaction with a keen gaze.

Johnny's hand left her thigh to find her hand, squeezing it with that gentle yet firm touch that never failed to reassure her about anything.

She turned to face her mom, "I love him." She confessed softly. Her mother's eyes seemed to go wide for a moment before she sat back.

"Good. I was starting to think you wouldn't give me any grandchildren. You're my oldest! I want to see them before I die!" She scolded her.

(Y/N) blushed, "Mom!" She stuttered. "Don't say that, oh my god!" She groaned.

Johnny watched the exchange with amusement.

"At least you should have sense." Her mother turned to Johnny, "I'm not getting any younger." She shook her head, clicking her tongue.

"I will keep your criticism in mind, Mrs (Y/L/N)." He laughed.

"For fuck's sake." She turned her neck to Johnny, giving him an embarrassed frown.

"Don't curse (Y/N) (Y/L/N)! That isn't how I raised you." Her mother scolded her again, making her nod reluctantly.

"The mouth on this one, Mrs. (Y/L/N). Sometimes I'm surprised!" Johnny clicked his tongue with mock exasperation. She shoved his rib, making Johnny chuckle as he grabbed the table to not fall.

_

Johnny dutifully took the couch.

Despite her mother taking the guest room, he insisted.

(Y/N) lay awake on her bed, alternating between staring at the ceiling and scrolling through her emails. Her mother was set to leave at 6am. She lifted her phone to check the time: 4am. She groaned.

Getting out of bed was the only thing left to do after trying so long to fall asleep unsuccessfully. She padded her feet across the living room softly towards the kitchen. Johnny mumbled her name in his sleepy voice, making (Y/N) jump.

"Why aren't you asleep?" She whispered. When she turned to him, she had her answer. He was lying on his back, the end of his legs dangling over the armrest. She came closer, "I told you to sleep in bed." She sighed.

Johnny sat up, a small grin tugging at his lips. "Why are you awake?"

"Can't sleep."

"So you came to check up on me?" He tilted his head to look up at her.

"No. I was going to the kitchen because I finished my water." She rattled the container in her hand. It was the partial truth, she did intend to see what he was doing as well.

When Johnny pouted a breathy chuckle left her. She ran a hand through his messy hair affectionately, heart tugging when his eyes fluttered shut and he nuzzled into her touch.

"Do you want some hot chocolate?" She questioned. Johnny opened his eyes and nodded eagerly.

_

They sat in the kitchen with tired eyes, silently sipping their own cups. Once over, she picked them up to wash them up.

"I can't believe you actually got my mom to like you." She chuckled as she scrubbed the used cups. She heard him slip off his chair and walk up behind her, resting his head on her shoulder.

"I'm a very likable person." He mumbled, leaving a soft kiss behind her ear.

She hummed, "That is true." His lips wrapped around the shell of her ear— an odd gesture that she had come to find arousing as he kept doing it over time. "You got Sooyoung and my mother to like you. Undoubtedly, two of the most difficult women to please in my life." She distracted herself, laughing at her own words as she placed the last cup in the rack and wiped her hands on a kitchen towel.

Johnny let her go only to hold her again after she turned around, giving her a teasing grin.

"I got you to like me." He kissed her forehead, "After that the rest were easy."

Her skeptical hum made him laugh, brushing his lips against her temple.

She pouted, "I'm a little bummed that Friday is gone. I only get to really see you on the weekends." Tracing a finger over his chest, she tried to swallow her disappointment. Reminding herself that her that she hadn't seen her mother in a while.

"What are you talking about? We meet for lunch at least twice a week." He laughed.

"You know what I mean." She huffed, looking up to give him a meaningful look.

Johnny smirked, "Do I?" He tightened his hold on her waist, lifting her to the counter. "What do you mean, (Y/N)?" He hummed, standing between her legs. He stroked his thumb inside her thigh slowly.

She gave him a shake of her head.

Then a thought came to her at his words, making her frown.

"Were you mad today?" She knit her brows together.

Johnny cocked his head to the side, confused by the sudden question. "Why would I be mad?" His hand, much to her disappointment, stilled.

She blinked, lips slowly parting. "I called you my friend." She winced, shaking her head slightly like the memory was something she wanted removed.

He thought about it for a moment. "Initially, yes. I think more than mad, I just felt out of depth."

"You don't like feeling out of depth." She looked at him carefully.

"Very true. But I've come to accept it as a given with you, even enjoy the feeling sometimes." He smiled, his thumb restarting it's previous ministrations.

Johnny paused, his eyes dancing with a sudden delight that slowly seeped into his lips.

"You told your mom you loved me." He grinned, his tone sing-song and dripping with taunt.

"I do love you."

"Good. I deserve it," He licked his lips, "As your best friend." He earned the smack on his shoulder. He winced playfully.

"My real best friends will do worse if they find out you said that." She snorted. "How would Mark feel?" She clicked her tongue in jest, resting her arms on his shoulders.

"Please Don't talk about Mark while I'm standing between your legs." He groaned, her head falling back to laugh at the distress on his face. He leaned closer to her with a soft smile, "I love when you laugh like that. Like you really don't want to but it's funny anyway." He kissed the corner of her lip.

"That's exactly how I feel everytime you try to be funny, Johnny." She giggled.

He kissed her chin. "Please. I'm hilarious and you know it." He spoke against her lips. She smiled, wrapping her arms around his neck.

"If you say so." She mumbled before he kissed her.

Like all kisses with Johnny, it got heated fast. His tongue tugged on hers and his hand reached into her t-shirt to fondle her breast. It gave her a sense of victory, knowing that at least in a small capacity, he was also dying to touch her.

The weekdays without him was one thing, work had the terrible quality of keeping one's mind off most things. But to spend the Friday evening left high-strung was unacceptable.

She hooked her finger into the band of his sweatpants, pulling him closer. Johnny left her lips to journey down her throat with sensual licks.

"It's early Saturday and I still haven't been inside you." He mumbled against her throat. A mewl left her lips, a wordless acknowledgement of his observation. "We need to do something about this 'just weekends' thing." Johnny groaned.

She was too focused on the sensation of his thumb rubbing circles on her nipple to pay attention, giving him an unfocused nod. He kissed up her jaw to her ear, nibbling on the cartilage.

"Are you even listening to me?" He whispered into her ear.

"Of course." She said too quickly.

Johnny chuckled, an unconvinced hum leaving his lips and tickling her neck. The nerves of that side, from her neck to her leg jittered at the sensation. He hummed again just to feel it under his palm on her waist.

The sound of a door creaking open made him push back from her. Both of them breathing ravenously.

Johnny turned away, running a hand through his hair. She looked up at the clock in the kitchen, the arms telling her that it was six in the morning. She bit her lip, getting off the counter.

When (Y/N)'s mother entered the kitchen, Johnny was washing his face at the sink.

"Good morning." He said with a pleasant smile, "Would you like some coffee?"

Kisass, she thought.

(Y/N) scoffed, "You make me coffee, I'll make her tea." She cradled her face in her palm.

"You're up early." Her mother looked between them.

Their eyes met for a second.

Johnny turned back to her mother in a beat, "We were planning on dropping you to the airport." He leaned against the counter, nonchalant.

"Oh you don't have to do that!" Her mother laughed.

"I want to." He gave her a convincing smile.

(Y/N) rolled her eyes.

Unintended Consequences

#nct johnny #nct #nct scenarios #johnny scenarios #johnny smut #miscellaneous #unintended consequences #nct 127

[lauwrite1225]

Somebody to die for.

Finan x OC; The Old Guard inspired Alternative Universe

Summary : Victoria's life is rather simple until she has a car accident from which she ends up miraculously unscathed. A series of weird events animates her daily life, everything seemingly bringing her to a strange man. Until this very man knocks at her door.

Spotify Playlist • Masterlist

A/N : Happy Finan Friday!! As you can see on the moodboard, we are learning more about someone ;)

Warnings : mention of death as always and probably torture? I prefer to warn lmao

Chapter 11 : Welcome to the panic room

Victoria stares silently at the plate of vegetables resting in front of her. She isn’t hungry, even the sight of food disgusts her. She pushes it away and stands up from the chair. Warned by the sound, Sophie turns away from the dishes she is washing.

“Victoria.” She sighs worriedly. “You need to eat something. Letting you starve won’t make him come back.”

Vicky rolls her eyes while walking out of the kitchen to join Osferth outside. Since first lights the monk has been searching for any clues that could tell them who the men from last night are and consequently where they are keeping Finan. Victoria tried to help but the lack of results quickly angered her. However, she can’t stay still, feeling like her blood would boil if she did. She’s first been upset with Osferth after he has told them he tried to prevent the men from coming inside, which only resulted in him being killed. Maybe if he hadn’t, he could have prevented Finan from being taken away. But when she saw how guilty Osferth was already looking, she tried to ease her rage. Instead it turned against herself, for being the whole reason they have been in trouble. Of course, she had no ideas as to why they needed her specifically, but maybe if she had made herself known they would have gotten answers. She would have undoubtedly been taken away but Finan would be safe by now, him who has nothing to do with that. 

That’s another question that troubles her: why taking him when it’s her they were searching? She’s sure they want her for her immortality, they could have found out about Finan’s during a fight. Her heart squeezes as tight as her fists at the idea of what he could be enduring while they are still, unable to save him. If only she could still dream of him, it would have given her a way to find him.

Exhausted by all her emotions and after a sleepless night, Victoria falls asleep even before sunset. She's not surprised when the first thing she sees is Sihtric's face. Though, this time he's wearing a modern outfit, a dark leather jacket above a white t-shirt. He looks anxious, his different coloured eyes looking around constantly. There seems to be a lot of agitation around him so Vicky spins around to see and a weird feeling takes her, she knows this place. He is in a clearing, full of armed men starting to encircle a small stoned house illuminated by the light of vehicles. She knows this place. A man is standing in the middle, grey hair and a clean shaved face of what she can see, talking to whoever is in the house. Then the door of the house opens and two men come out, raising their hands in sign of peace. They talk for a moment with the grey haired man before with a simple move of his hand soldiers start to walk toward the front door. One of the men tries to prevent them from entering and Vicky jumps at the sound of a shot. She heard this sound. The other man, bearded, catches him as a red stain starts to spread in the middle of his chest. He stays by his side, holding his hand tightly while the men enter the house. They spend a while inside before coming back, the first one shaking his head. The grey haired man seems upset and barks to kill the other still next to his dying if not yet dead friend.

That's when Sihtric finally moves, walking out of the shadow and Vicky can feel his rise of confidence and anger as he barks back to wait. The man who looked awkwardly relieved to be executed stares at Sihtric with wide eyes, a clear surprise and disbelief playing in his pupils. She knows this man. The Dane ignores him and walks toward who Vicky supposes is the chief.

“He could help us to find her.” He says and the older man raises an eyebrow at him. 

“How are you so sure?” He asks, narrowing his eyes, wary.

Sihtric glances back at the man who's now shaking his head, trying to silently dissuade him, but he doesn't care. “I know, that is all.” He answers, almost whispering. 

Even if the older man seems unsatisfied by Sihtric's answer, he agrees and orders a few soldiers to take the bearded man. He wrestles when they grab his arms, trying to kick them as he shouts Sihtric's name and he is taken away under the Dane's confident eyes.

Vicky wakes up suddenly, gasping for breath as she realizes what she has just seen. Sihtric was here, with the men searching for her and he was the one ordering for Finan to be taken. She can hardly believe it but it gives her some logical answers on how they keep succeeding to find her, they are using Sihtric's dreams. 

She gets out of her bed and notices the light in the kitchen. She finds Osferth in it, drinking a beer while the darkness of the night outside is still far from fading. The monk looks up at her, frowning at her heavy breath. 

“Are you alright?” He asks her, starting to stand up but Vicky sits on a chair in front before he has the chance to.

“Sihtric… Sihtric was here.” She tells him, meeting his light blue eyes who glaze over in confusion in confusion. 

“What do you mean?”

Victoria rubs her face, trying to think of a correct and clear sentence before resting her hands flat on the table. “In my dream, Sihtric was standing in the clearing with the men encircling the house.”

Osferth's eyebrows furrow once again. “I did not see him. Are you sure?”

“I am.” She assures him. “I saw you die, Finan was holding your hand. Then, when they stopped checking the house, a man ordered Finan to be killed as well but Sihtric prevented them and took him away.”

The monk sighs desperately and buries his face between his hands. He stays silent for a long time before joining his fingers to press his lips on his thumbs. “Why did he take Finan and not me then?”

Vicky opens her mouth, trying to remember what Sihtric said to the leader but she can't remember. “I don't know.” She answers, looking down. 

“Do you think he finds you because of the dreams?” Osferth demands carefully and Vicky nods. “Then he is going to find you again.”

She clenches her jaw, her fingers drumming nervously on the table. Her friend keeps staring at her intently while she thinks. As long as she isn’t rid of her dreams with Sihtric, he'll keep telling whoever the men wanting her are where she is. Her and him are linked until they finally meet. Suddenly, her fingers freeze and she stares back at Osferth.

“I have to meet him.”

“Sihtric?”

“Yes.” She confirms. “He can find me, but I also can find him. I can determine where Finan is and once we are there, I have to meet Sihtric to be freed of our dreams. He won't be able to find me anymore, and we will just have to hide somewhere else.”

Osferth visibly hesitates, his head leaning on a side then the other. “If he took Finan, it might be because he knows you'll go save him, because he is important to you.” Vicky can't help but blush at Osferth's words, biting her lips. “And he'll know we are coming. It's jumping into the lion's den.”

Vicky can only agree with Osferth, it's another risky plan, more likely to turn badly, but she doesn't see any other way out. “I know. But Sihtric and I can't escape each other, if we don't try, we'll be playing cat and mouse for God knows how long.”

After a few minutes of reflection, the monk agrees to her plan but it doesn’t relieve Vicky much, the hardest is to come. When Sophie wakes up, they tell her of their plan, and she doesn’t even have to speak for them to understand that she isn’t pleased with this plan.

“That’s complete madness!” She exclaims to the two immortals sitting on the couch. “There’s no way it goes perfectly well.”

Vicky rubs the back of her neck. “We know, but we have to try, for Finan and to get rid of them for good.” 

Sophie sighs, her hands resting on her hips. “Très bien.” She pushes her glasses which had slid too low on her nose and looks at them again. “But I’m coming with you.”

“What?! No!” Osferth replies, standing up.

She shakes her finger before pressing it on his chest. “That’s not a choice. I’m coming that’s all.”

Osferth spends the following days trying to convince her to not come with them, that it is too dangerous, but Sophie reveals herself to be extremely stubborn, and during dinner he finally gives up, which gives an amused smile to Vicky, despite her very low mood this time. 

Vicky spends most of her time concentrating on her dreams, drawing any faces or places she sees, and writing any word or discussion she remembers down. She succeeds to determine that Sihtric is somewhere in Germany and still in the regular presence of the grey haired man. In her drawing, he looks about seventy, with strong features but an awkward warm gaze. There’s something in the man that weirdly initiates confidence.

One night, she stands in a dark and cold cell with only an old bed furnishing it. Sihtric waits near the door while two men carry and then drop a man on the floor. Vicky gasps when she recognizes Finan, His face pale and dark marks coloring below his eyes, his clothes are soaked making him shiver in them. Sihtric looks at him pitifully and when the door closes, he makes a step forward and Finan who is now sitting crawls back until he is against the wall. The Dane keeps walking until he crouches to be at his eye level. 

“You know how to make it stop.” Sihtric says, in a cold tone. 

Finan huffs, trying to ease the shattering of his teeth. “Why are ya doin’ that?”

“I told you.”

“No, everythin’.” The Irishman leans forward. “Ya’re betrayin’ us.” He growls with the most anger his state allows him.

Sihtric frowns and his own anger takes control. “You were the first to betray us.” He snaps back. “You left us! Not even caring what we could feel and what could happen if you were gone. Do you know what happened to Uhtred? Did Osferth tell you?!” 

Finan swallows hard, his gaze dropping down. He shakes his head and looks back to him. “How can ya allow this? Ya know perfectly that immortality isn’t a gift.”

“It’s not about immortality, it’s about saving people.” Finan frowns at him but he says nothing more. 

When she wakes up, she can't forget Finan's sight, how he looked sick and sleep deprived. It gives her a myriad of feelings, she feels guilty for being the reason he is there, she feels angry at Sihtric for hurting him and she feels desperate for not being able to do anything at the moment to keep Finan from suffering. But it also gives her determination, one she has never felt before. She has never had so much determination in doing something, of course she is biased, Finan means a lot to her and she can't abandon him. She feels a strength growing in her, a confidence in front of a situation far from certain, something that would usually have made her give up.

She talks about Finan and Sihtric’s discussion to Osferth while Sophie is gone to make research with all she has already written down. The poor monk has been in a low mood for the past days as well. 

“Sihtric was the most disappointed by Finan's choice.” Osferth explains after Vicky mentioned he said Finan betrayed them. “Uhtred was angry, obviously, but he forgot. Not Sihtric. Sihtric was loyal to the bone to Uhtred and he didn't understand how Finan could leave us all behind for a woman.”

Vicky nods and leans forward. “Tell me. How did they all meet? Uhtred, Sihtric and Finan.”

Osferth shifts uncomfortably on his chair, his eyes locked on his glass before finally glancing up. “He didn't tell you?”

Vicky shakes her head. “In fact, he lied to me. He didn't tell me of your existence until I started to dream of you. And when he was about to finally tell me the truth, we were attacked. I know only the big lines.”

Understanding, Osferth rests his hands flat on the table and starts to think of how to tell the story. “Sihtric was a slave and the bastard son of a Dane Jarl. He was meant to kill Uhtred with a group of other Danes but they failed and Uhtred kept him prisoner. Then Sihtric asked him to be his man which he accepted.”

Vicky stares at him intently, not having imagined the story to be so complex and tragic. “I didn't know he was a slave.” Her friend looks aside, his lips curling as she guesses he hesitates to say something. “Osferth?” She frowns. 

“I suppose Finan didn't tell you he was one as well.”

Her eyes widen in half-horror and half-surprised, not expecting to learn another dark part of Finan's past. “He did not.” 

Osferth opens his mouth to say something but the sound of the front door opening stops him. They both turn their heads as Sophie walks in the kitchen with a proud smile, holding a folder in one of her hands.

“I found something!” She declares, sitting at the table with them. 

Osferth and Victoria share a glance while she displays papers on the table. 

“So I started by the castle you described.” She explains grabbing a sheet of notes. 

A few days ago, Vicky saw Sihtric walking in a castle courtyard full of men during an evening. With him was the same old man, talking to people probably rich enough to live in a castle similar to this one. The Dane was quite annoyed to stand in the crowd and most of the time remained silent. Victoria drew some of the facades of the building and is now glad to see it has been useful as Sophie grabbed pictures of a castle to compare with her work.

“So I searched when and where such a reunion happened in Germany, and regarding your drawings, I supposed it was the one in Heidelberg Castle, about four months ago.” 

“It looks like it.” Osferth comments after Vicky hands him the drawing and pictures. 

“So I did even more research to find who were the participants and I came up with a few names. But the one interesting us is Friedrich Müller.” Sophie's tone loses its enthusiasm to become more serious as she takes out a real factsheet about him, with a picture of the man in the corner. “Do you recognize him?”

Vicky gasps and nods, the man looking exactly like in her dreams. He is as she guessed in his seventies and retired from the firm he has been running, apparently leaving it to his daughter a few years ago. He is a part of the richest men of Germany and respected as an excellent businessman. 

“Alright, but all of this is pretty… Clean? It has nothing to do with me, nor Sihtric and isn't going to tell us where they are keeping Finan.” Vicky says, impatient to know more of her friend's reasoning. 

“I'm getting there.” She reassures her. “Müller came to the reunion as president of the Quelle des Lebens Stiftung.”

“Fountain of life foundation?” Osferth translates hesitantly. 

“Yes, his own father was the president of it during the Cold War and left it to his son during the 80s. It's a foundation meant to do research to fight cancer and rare diseases.” She explains pointing at a description of the foundation's activities. “It still looks pretty clean like this. But after further research, Müller's father is suspected to have funded scientists during the third Reich working on the creation of a superior man.”

Vicky shivers, her fingers stiffening as she holds one of the papers, not expecting the story to take such a dark turn. “So… You think the foundation is just a cover to their real activities?”

“Sort of. But what is sure, is that whatever it hides, immortality is the key of their research.” Sophie concludes, a heavy silence growing in the room right after. 

Even with answers, Victoria feels still lost as new questions arise in her mind. She tries to push them away and concentrate on what they know. Finan is somewhere in Germany, according to Sophie somewhere near Munich as the head of the foundation is located there. Their destination is settled and they spend the afternoon preparing for leaving for Germany.

A/N : Sihtric part of the bad guys, did you expect that ? 👀

Tag :​ @for-bebbanburg @osferth @maggiescarborough ​ @finansarms ​ @dumbledoreisnotmyhubby @solinarimoon @wardl0w

#finan the last kingdom #the last kingdom #finan #finan the agile #tlk #fanfiction #finanxoc #the old guard #somebody to die for

[lustfordespair]

always forever

SEASON 15 SPOILERS! Summary: You and Dean are a couple. Knowing what happens in season 15, this is basically you dealing with his death and the fact you were with child when he passed. The guilt of never telling him you were pregnant. It eats you up inside that you’ve lived longer than him but that wait pays off. Also, I listened to Always Forever by Cult on repeat writing this! It’s what inspired it too. Hope y’all enjoy! Warning: Angst, pure angst. Mentions of Death.  Mentions of Pregnancy. Teenager Things. Word Count: 2723

You and me, always forever. 

Say you’ll say never be seperate. 

She sat in the back of the impala confused on why the boys were taking a while, it was just a simple vampire nest to knock out, she knew they’d be able to by themselves due to the fact the Winchester brother’s have been in the hunting business longer than she had. 

I know what you’re thinking, why didn’t she just do the wipeout with the boys? Well she had been keeping a secret, they didn’t question her though when she insisted on waiting. “Those damn boys, what could be taking them so long?” she said aloud, exiting the vehicle and making her way inside. 

Slowly walking in her eyes blinked several times in disbelief at the sight before her. Sam standing before Dean, who was . . impaled? 

“Sam.” she spoke, causing the tall male to turn around. “(Y-Y/n)” he began. “I’m sorry, I’m so sorry.” He continued to speak but her thoughts blocked him out as she made her way to Dean. “He’s okay right?” she asked, not expecting an answer. 

“He’s-” 

“No. He’s not!” she placed her hands on Dean cheeks with tears beginning to fall from her eyes, “Dean- Dean! You can wake up now! Y-You’re fine! I know you are!” she reached for his hand for a pulse only to be met with no heartbeat and a hand placed on her shoulder. She turned to Sam.

“W-What are you doing! GET HIM OFF! GET HIM OFF-” she was sobbing at this point, yelling at the younger Winchester, doing as he was told although it pained him to pull his older brother's lifeless body off. He gently laid him on the ground. 

The two sat there for a while, Sam holding a crying (Y/n) in his arms. 

--------------------------------------------

It was the day after they had Dean’s “funeral”, burning it more was. 

(Y/n) made her way to the fridge, pouring herself a glass of milk and herself down at the table, silently reading a book to herself. 

“So were you ever gonna tell him?” 

She looked up to the door to be met with Sam’s gaze, “Tell who what-”

“Dean.” he spoke, holding up a pregnancy test he had found in the trash a few days back. Yeah a few days, he had knew but never really knew when to bring it up. 

She took a drink of her milk and sighed, a single tear threatening her eyes. “I was, yeah. Never got to though, you know?” Sam only nodded at her comment and proceeded to grab himself a bowl of cereal. 

Miracle soon walked his way in and barked, causing (Y/n) tp get up from her seat, “Don’t worry boy, I’ll get you some breakfast too.” She got out a pan and some eggs, even before Dean passed she’d always cook Miracle an egg or two. 

“Really you made the dog eggs but not me?” a deep voice asked. 

She turned and smiled, “Yes, Dean I did. Not my fault you didn’t want to get up a little earlier for breakfast.” 

The male made his way towards (Y/n) and gave her a kiss on the head, then the cheek, her nose, her other cheek, her neck.. and finally on the lips. 

“Ew jeez, if y’all are going to do that go back to your room.” Sam spoke, resulting in a laugh from (Y/n). 

“Well, don’t mind if I do.” Dean swept her off her feet and made his way out the kitchen and to their room. 

“(Y/n)? (Y/n)???”

She blinked a few times before looking at Sam, “What?” she asked. “Uhm, you okay? You drifted off a bit.” he spoke. She realized she was still in the kitchen, she took a deep breath. “Yeah I’m fine, sorry.”

With that the two proceeded on with their day. 

--------------------------------------------

“SAM! SAM! OH MY GOD I’M GOING TO SCREAM!” she shouted.

Sam rushed out of his room and ran to (Y/n)’s with Miracle barking behind, ‘(Y/n!) What’s wrong?” he spotted the girl with her hand on her stomach, leaning over her desk. 

She gulped and looked at the male, “It is damn time Samuel!” and with that Sam panicked. He grabbed the emergency bag they had prepared for the day and made his way to the impala, starting it and driving.

“I can’t believe it’s happening! I’m going to be an uncle!” he shouted turning to the passengers seat, “SHIT! SHIT! SHIT!” he turned the car around realizing he forgot the most important thing to the hospital: (Y/n).

“I’M SORRY I FORGOT YOU” he began, “SHUT UP AND TAKE ME TO THE HOSPITAL SAM!” “OKAY OKAY SORRY!”

They then made their way to the hospital, both of them knowing they’d remember the day the kid’s Uncle Sammy forget their mom when she was giving birth. Soon, they arrived.

There laid (Y/n) beginning to give birth, squeezing Sam’s hand and yelling at him for letting his brother get her pregnant, as if it was his fault. 

“Come on (Y/n)! One more push!” the doctor shouted. 

She cried, “I can’t.. I can’t anymore!” Tears were forming in her eyes, still holding onto Sam’s hand.

“Hey, you got this babygirl.” 

(Y/n) turned her head the opposite direction of Sam and stared at the love of her life, “Dean..”

“(Y/n), you got this.” he grabbed her hand, “You’re the strongest woman I know, so you push that kid out and be the best mother in the world!” he shouted. He then leaned to her ear and whispered, “I love you.”

She nodded and took a deep breath before pushing one last time.

--------------------------------------------

“Mary!!” 

Giggling could be heard around the house hold, along with Miracle’s barks. 

“Mary Deana Winchester you get your butt in here and put your shoes on now!” (Y/n) shouted. “No! Momma, no!” 

(Y/n) stood in the living room arms crossed, wearing a simple black dress, her hair up and heels. “Mary please, I promise you and I can have a burger night and watch any movie of your choice.” 

Suddenly, a little girl around the age of 4 made her way into the living room, Miracle following behind. “Can we watch Frozen..?” (Y/n) laughed, “Of course.” she made her way to the couch and sat down, watching as Mary grabbed her shoes and climbed up on the couch. 

“Alright little one, ready to go?” she asked, hearing Mary’s little yes in response. (Y/n) picked the little girl up, grabbed her purse and began to make her way out the door.

“You two look beautiful, especially you.”

(Y/n) looked at Dean and smiled, “You’re always for flattering, Winchester.”

He chuckled, “I know.”

“Bye Miracle! We’ll be back soon buddy.”

“Sorry we took a bit! Somebody didn’t wanna put her shoes on.” She spoke. 

“It’s fine! As long as my best man and flower girl is here.” Sam smiled and gave Mary a hug before hugging (Y/n). “Ahem, I’d prefer best lady” she smirked. Sam rolled his eyes, “Hey no matter what you are the best huh?”, “Well of course I am!” she smiled at the younger Winchester’s remark.

“Ah, she looks so cute!” (Y/n) whispered to Sam as Mary walked down the isle happily spreading rose petals around, even handing a few people some directly in their hands. He nodded in agreement. 

“Mommy?” Mary looked up at (Y/n) as they ate a burger, watching Frozen, the pair still in their outfits from the wedding. “Yes, Mary-Dean?” she looked down at the little girl. “Did daddy like burgers?” she asked.

(Y/n) smiled, “Your daddy LOVED burgers.” 

“Really?” Mary asked, “Yeah.” (Y/n) giggled at the girl, she had mustard on the side of her mouth, “Would make a mess like you too.” she spoke as she wiped the mustard off. 

“Alright kiddo! Come on, it’s time for bed.” 

“Mommy, can I sleep with you tonight?” 

“Of course kiddo.”

--------------------------------------------

“I miss you.” 

“I know you do, babe.”

(Y/n) and Dean danced together, it was their wedding. She’d giggle when he’d spin her around and she’s apologize when she’d step on his shoe.

“She asks about you, you know. Mary.”

“Curious about her handsome father?”

She rolled her eyes, “Of course.”

Dean dipped her and pulled her back up. He kissed her forehead, then her cheek, her nose, her other cheek, and stopped.

“Hey! You missed the lips buddy.” she spoke. “I know.”

Dean placed his hands on her shoulders, a sad look on his face. “Why haven’t you let go yet?”

“What..?”

“Let go. LET GO. LET GO. LET GO.-”

“Mommy wake up!!” Mary shouted. 

“Wha? Huh?” (Y/n) looked at her daughter, “What is it Mary?” she asked

“You were crying in your sleep..”

--------------------------------------------

“Mary Deana Winchester! It is 12am, your curfew is 10:30 and you know that!”

“Sorry mom, jeez, I was just hanging out with friends.” Mary responded.

“I get that but I told you if you were gonna even be 5 minutes late to text me! Something could’ve happened to you and I wouldn’t know!” (Y/n) shouted.

“Jesus mom calm down! You act like monsters exist, I was just with friends, Avery remember?” Mary spoke. 

(Y/n) scoffed, “I know you weren’t with Avery, she stopped by asking for you while you were gone.” She crossed her arms.

“Fine mom, I was with Tyler what’s it matter?”

“Mary-Dean you know I don’t trust that boy!” 

“I don’t care! It’s my life!”

“Don’t you raise your voice at me little girl.” (Y/n) was furious at this point, which she hated. She hated yelling at Mary cause when she looked into her eyes she always saw Dean’s eyes.

“I can if I want to! And you know what! Sometimes I wish it was you instead of dad. He would’ve been cooler than you in this situation.” Mary made her way upstairs to her room, unaware that her sentence affected (Y/n) greatly. 

“You know she didn’t mean it, babe.”

“It doesn’t matter, Dean. It still hurt.” she placed her hand on her arm and rubbed it, the same way he would when she was upset.

“She’s just a teenager.” he spoke.

“I miss her being small.” (Y/n) turned to the male figure, “And I miss you.” 

--------------------------------------------

Mary and Dean, Sam’s son, always got along, no matter the 4 year age difference. Ever since Sam got married and (Y/n) felt like she wasn’t important to him anymore, they met up every Friday for dinner. Specifically her Dean’s favorite, pizza and burgers.

“Look at those two getting long, how old is Mary again?” Sam asked, beer in his hand.

(Y/n) sighed, “16. Which is so weird to say.” she looked at the kids talking to each other then to Sam. “The other day she said she wish her dad was still here and not me.” 

Sam almost spit up his drink, it wasn’t like he liked to drink a lot of beer anyways, “I’m sure she didn’t mean it.” he reassured her. “You’re her only mother, she’s just growing up”

“Yeah and that sucks Sam.” she admitted, “I know, but it happens. We have to deal with it as we get older.” 

(Y/n) scoffed, “Did you just call me old?” Sam raised his hands and shook his head, “No! That’s not what I meant!” She chuckled at his reaction.

Soon, Sam’s wife walked outside with the pizza and burgers. “Mary! Dean! Come dig in!” she shouted.

(Y/n) looked at Sam and Sam looked at her, both with pizza in their hands. 

“Cheers!” they shouted.

“Cheers!”

(Y/n) looked at Dean and smiled.

“Dork.”

--------------------------------------------

Mary came home crying.

“Mary? What’s wrong?” (Y/n) asked as the girl ran to her room and slammed the door. 

She sighed, realizing she may know exactly what happened, what she predicted. 

(Y/n) grabbed the container of ice cream in the fridge and made her way upstairs, “Mary? Love, it’s mom.” she spoke.

“Go away.” Mary responded.    

Silence.

“I got ice cream.”

Just like that the door opened.

She made her way to Mary’s bed and sat down, “What happened, love?” she asked. “You were right about Tyler.” Mary sniffled, “He broke up with me for Avery.”

“Avery? Seriously- you know what I never liked that girl in the first place with that one weird tooth and the way she’d wear pig tails and-” Mary giggled at her mother’s comments and grabbed the ice cream and a spoon form (Y/n)’s hand. 

“I’m sorry about what I said 2 weeks ago..” Mary paused. “I love you mom.”

“I love you too, Mary.” she kissed Mary’s forehead and they both dug in.

“Ya know, I’d beat that Tyler kid’s ass for hurting my little girl.”

(Y/n) giggled “ I know you would Dean.”

“I know you would.”

--------------------------------------------

(Y/n) never thought she’d live to see the day. She always thought it was gonna be her next, not Sam.

She sat there in the church, Mary by her side, holding onto her hand.

She really couldn’t believe it. While most told her she was lucky to outlive the Winchester’s, they didn’t understand that- she never wanted to. She’s still living her life, she watched the people she’s loved pass and it affected her a lot. Especially today, being Sam’s funeral. 

“Come on mom.” Mary began, “Let’s get you home.”

Mary helped (Y/n) into the car and began to drive her home. She couldn’t help but notice her mother’s look on her face, “You okay ma?”

(Y/n) simply shook her head, “Both of my best friend’s are gone Mary..” 

Mary’s face was full of sorrow, she really did feel sorry for her mother. “Mom? Can I ask you something?” “Hm..?”

“Even after I was born, after all these years.. why did you never date? Never move on?” Mary asked.

(Y/n) looked at her before looking out the window, “No one could ever replace your father. He was the best and..” she paused, “Truly the love of my life.”

“As you are mine, sweetheart.” Dean smirked. 

--------------------------------------------

Mary sat there sadly, she knew the day would come but she never wanted it to.

                                                 (Y/n) (L/n)

                                Loving mother. Loving daughter.

Tears rolled down Mary’s cheek, “I love you mommy.” she spoke. 

She never thought that someone could truly die from a broken heart.

That’s what got to (Y/n), a broken heart. Mary knew her mother lived a eventful life, so it was no surprised when she processed what she had died from. Although she was sad now, she knew her mother was happy. She knew she was up in heaven with the Winchester brothers.

--------------------------------------------

(Y/n) walked around confusingly, she didn’t know where she was at but she did know she was young again. She stared at her hands and touched her (h/c) hair once again, no longer gray.

“(Y/n)?” a voice called out.

She turned out, “B-Bobby?” she asked.

The man chuckled, “Well it’s about damn time you got here.”

She tilted her head a bit, “Here?”

He smiled, “Heaven silly.” Bobby chuckled once again at (Y/n)’s reaction, “Yeah, ‘long time ago for you Jack changed the place up. We’re all together here.”

(Y/n)’s mouth opened a bit, “We’re?” Bobby nodded and began pointing, “Rufus lives there, The boys parents there.. speaking of the boys Dean sure damn hell has been waitin for you.”

Her eyes got teary, “Dean?”

“That’s my name doll, don’t wear it out.” 

“DEAN!” (Y/n) shouted and ran towards the male, jumping on him for a hug which thankfully he caught her.

“Sammy and I been waiting for you baby. Matter of fact we were just talking about you.” he admitted.

(Y/n) wasn’t even listening to him, just kissing him all over his face.

“Oh Dean! I’ve missed you!” 

“And I’ve missed you too (Y/n)” 

Dean planted a sweet kiss on her lips and pulled away, “Come on! Sammy and I are having burgers and beer tonight!”

She just smiled, “I love you, Dean Winchester,”

He smirked, “I love you most, (Y/n) (L/n).”

You and me, always forever.

We could stay alone together.

Author’s Note: OH MY GOODNESS I WROTE THIS IN A DAY. I was in fact, on a roll. I’m not even gonna lie I teared up writing the end cause Dean deserved so much :( Anyways, I hope y’all enjoyed the story! My hands hurt not aha! 

#supernatural #deanwinchester #dean winchester x you #deanwinchesterxreader #samwinchester #spn #fanfiction #writer #writer on tumblr #supernaturalfanfic #songfic #always forever #angst #oneshot

[writingformymentalhealth]

Chapter 7

Josephine Fawley or as her brother liked to call her the tomboy Princess had a striking romance with Hogwarts very own Pureblood rebel Sirius Black.

Sadly her parents deemed his Brother the so called Slytherin Prince as a better fit and arranged a marriage with the younger Black.

Tw: Arranged marriage, possible smut, swear words, lots of fluff, angst,

Part 1

Part 8

Masterlist

Wattpad

The next morning, Joey woke up to an empty bed. Everything was folded neatly, and it looked like the bed had been untouched for the night and even though she felt hostile towards the Slytherin, she would have preferred to wake up next to a familiar face instead of a cold and empty room.

Sighing, she put on a dress, guessing that Orion and Walburga probably weren’t the breakfast in Pyjama kind of people.

In the dining room she only found Regulus eating his breakfast while reading the newspaper thoroughly.

She cleared her throat. “Morning.”

“Good Morning, Kreacher will bring you breakfast in a minute.”

She nodded, sitting down next to him, nervously playing with her hair till the house-elf brought her breakfast.

“My Parents aren’t going to be home till the evening and I have no idea where Sirius went.” Regulus informed her, not looking up from his newspaper.

She let her mind wander to Sirius; he was drunk yesterday and although she wished it was different; she doubted that Sirius Black would want to be the dirty little secret of somebody - yet alone herself. She looked at her fiancée who didn’t even spare her a look and had to blink back tears - she was in for a lonely summer and probably an even lonelier life.

She shuddered thinking about her married life with Regulus, her only source of affection being cold gazes and snippy comments.

After both teens finished their breakfast, Regulus got up, making his way to the door.

“Can we explore the house today?” The words tumbled out of her mouth before she could stop them.

“I live here there is nothing to explore.”

“I don’t live here.” She said, fully aware of how pleading her voice sounded.

“There is nothing interesting here, besides maybe Sirius room - if you are into half naked woman on motorcycles, but I guess you already explored that thoroughly.”

“Reggie-” the nickname slipped from her lips so easily that it surprised even herself. She expected Regulus to be angry, but he just nodded curtly.

“Alright I’ll give you a tour.”

He walked her through the hallways showing her some of the guest rooms that all had a similar eerie decor that made Joey’s hair stand up.

“Told you.” He muttered after guest room number three, but Joey was adamant about seeing every room in the enormous mansion.

The last door of the hallway looked different, less dusty, and Regulus hesitated before opening it.

The room was beautiful. Huge bookshelves decorated the walls, a comfortable-looking sofa next to a fireplace, and a huge piano in the middle of the room.

“I like this room,” Regulus informed her, his eyes slipping over the furniture as if he wanted to make sure that nothing was missing

“It’s beautiful.” she walked to the piano, gently caressing the expensive wood. “Can you play?”

“A little.”

“Play for me.”

“Is this an order?” Regulus asked and Joey felt her body tense up, although the boy didn’t seem angry, just curious.

“Just hoping you will consider my request.”

He made a smacking sound with his mouth before his long, slender fingers found their way to the piano keys. He started playing a melody that Joey didn’t know, but she liked it, and most importantly she liked how regulus looked when playing the piano. So peaceful, so emotional, so young, so very human. Joey found herself fascinated by the boy she saw, and she clapped excitedly after he finished his play and for a short second she thought she almost saw him smile a little.

But his face soon became cold again as he informed her he had some work for his parents to do and she was welcome to look around on her own.

Shocked by his sudden change in demeanor, Joey just nodded, making her way back to Regulus room, plopping herself on the bed trying to read a book.

The next few days went by in a blur, the Black parents being occupied by something they called ‘important business’, Regulus practically ignoring her and Sirius still not coming back.

It was Monday evening during dinner that Sirius decided to rejoin the Black household.

“Late as always,” Walburga sneered as the boy sat down opposite of Joey.

Sirius stayed silent, shoving food inside his mouth while Walburga went on about what a disappointment Sirius was. Joey opened her mouth to say something, but Regulus shook his head, giving her a warning glare.

“And now to you,” Walburga said, looking at Joey and regulus, “you seem so distant with each other, why don’t you hold hands or something?”

Orion snorted dismissively. “They sleep in the same room I’m sure they are far past hand holding.”Joey felt her cheeks heat up as the two adults talked about her sex life so nonchalantly and her eyes automatically looked to Sirius, her subconscious still holding on to all the years that he has been her comfort but Sirius eyes were filled with something that could only be described as pure rage as he glared at his brother who didn’t even flinch under the older Black boy’s gaze instead he swiftly slipped his hand into her’s.

Sirius looked ready to burst and Joey felt comfort in Regulus casually holding her hand as Sirius stood up abruptly, walking up the wooden stairs in his room.

Joey’s heart sank. She hated it when Sirius got angry, especially when it was because of her, but there was nothing she could do for this situation - at least till the adults were asleep.

-

It was past midnight as Joey slipped into Sirius’ room, half expecting him to be fast asleep but instead finding his head in his hands sitting on the floor next to a fist shaped hole in the wall.

“Sirius.”

She didn’t get an answer she slowly made her way towards him as if he was a wild animal. Joey lowered herself next to the trembling boy’s body, reaching out a hand to comfort him but stopping a few inches before his skin.

Was it okay for him if she comforted him? After all, he wasn’t hers anymore.

Did he even want to see her?

Was he sad or mad?

“I’m sorry,” she stated, not sure for what exactly she was apologizing for.

The drunk make-out session? The break up? The hand holding?

“It’s just so unfair.” he breathed. “You’re the girl who called me an asshole the first time we spoke. The girl who tried to pay for our sweets even after she learned I am a Black and have more than enough money. You’re the girl who risked falling out of the window to feed the orphaned birds, who makes my breath hitch whether you’re wearing a tight dress or oversized sweatpants. You’re- “ he paused, his grey eyes locking with her green ones “You are my girl.”

She swallowed thickly. “I’m sorry. For what it’s worth heart still belongs to you.”

“But everything else belongs to my brother, doesn’t it?” Joey shuffled away at the sudden harshness of his voice.

“He didn’t touch me, if that’s what you’re asking.”

Some emotion swirled in his grey eyes, making her bite her lip.

“Do you love him?”

“No. You’re the only one for me, you’ll always be.”

Tears started pooling in her eyes as she faced the bitter truth her words held.

“You feel nothing for him?” Sirius clarified, shifting closer to her.

“Nothing, he is just the guy I am forced to marry.”

And then Sirius’ lips crashed against hers, holding her body close as if he was scared she might disappear. She buried her head in his neck, pressing kisses there too, inhaling his familiar scent of expensive cologne and smoke.

-

“It’s only for our parents? You don’t like being close to him?” Sirius asked for the hundredth time, searching her eyes for any sign of a lie.

“Yes Sirius. You are the only one I want to be close to.” He nodded, letting his head fall back down on her chest. “I still need to sleep in his room though.” She said, playing with Sirius’ soft locks.

He gripped the sheet tightly, trying to control the boiling anger that came with the image of his girl sleeping next to his baby brother. “I Hate him”

“He did nothing wrong, Siri.”

He gave her a dirty look. “He touched you.”

“For your parents. Now c’mon let me leave before we both fall asleep.”

Sirius grumbled as he pushed his body off of her so she could get up.

“Wait,” he said as she went to the door. She turned around, seeing a grinning Sirius handing her one of his shirts. “wear this.”

“Sirius-“

“It’s one of the shirts my mother purchased, she could never make out which shirt belonged to Regulus and which one was mine.” He grinned mischievously, “but Regulus can.

She rolled her eyes although taking the shirt out of his hand. “You’re such a child, Black.”

With one swift motion, she pulled her shirt over her head, practically feeling Sirius’ dark eyes boring into her body before she pulled over his oversized shirt.

Sirius smirked darkly, “Perfect.”

She rolled her eyes again before sneaking out of the door into Regulus room, only stopping in her treks as she found Regulus wide awake writing something on his desk instead of finding him fast asleep as she expected.

“I thought you were asleep.” She stammered awkwardly as his gaze met hers.

“I don’t usually sleep early.”

“But you are always awake before me?”

“I don’t sleep much.”

“We always went to bed together,” she exclaimed, puzzled by the boy’s behavior.

“Figured I’d be less awkward like that.”

Joey blinked slowly. Her brain couldn’t fathom Regulus black sitting somewhere thinking how he could make things less awkward for the girl he was forced to marry.

“That’s” she paused, clearing her throat, “very kind of you.”

He didn’t answer, turning around and packing away his things. And Joey had the feeling that she was supposed to say something, but she didn’t know what.

“I suppose you made up.” He said turning around gesturing to her shirt, “assuming that’s his shirt.”

“Uh yeah.” He nodded, pulling his shirt over his head before slipping under the covers. “So you always go to sleep when I go to sleep?” She asked awkwardly.

“No. I am going to bed, sometimes I fall asleep eventually sometimes I wait till you sleep to get up and read something downstairs.” He said, turning to the side, clearly signaling that the conversation is over.

Even though Joey thought she would have a good night’s sleep, being in the clear with Sirius and all, she couldn’t help but toss and turn in bed, Regulus confession stirring up a weird feeling in her stomach. Only an arm's length away from her Regulus too couldn’t sleep. Seeing Joey in his brother’s shirt, her legs covered in dark hickeys for some reason rubbed him the wrong way.

-

Next part

Hope you liked it :)

What do you think about reg and Joey ?

#marauders era fic #sirius black fanfiction #sirius black x oc #young sirius black #regulus black fanfic #regulus black fanfiction #sirius black fluff #love triangle #marauders era love triangle #marauders #regulus black fluff #regulus black arranged marriage au #sirius black arranged marriage #arranged marriage au #arranged marriage fic #Sirius black love triangle #marauders era angst #marauders era fanfiction #Marauders era fluff #sirius black angst #regulus black angst #regulus black x oc #regulus black x Sirius black love triangle #Sirius black #regulus black #regulus black imagine #the noble house of black #harry potter fanfiction #arranged marriage trope

[mandelene]

If you feel like filling this: for the first time, Matthew and Alfred are left alone overnight and Alfred feels all grown-up and excited. Pity that Matthew had hidden he wasn't feeling well and he isn't getting any better... Thank you! ❤️

Torture Matthew? Sure thing! Haha. 😁 As usual, I got carried away. You can’t ask me to write a sickfic and not expect the word count to be high lol. I made it a throwback to my “Matthew has asthma” headcanon. Also, did you know many U.S. states don’t have a law for how old a child must be to be left home alone overnight? Same for the UK. Apparently, it’s generally recommended that the child is at least 14 or 16, so I went with Al and Matt being 15 in this one.  

The House Party That Never Was

Word Count: 1924 (I know. I’m sorry!)

10 AM, Friday

“We’ll only be two hours away, so if anything happens or there’s a problem, call and let us know, and we’ll drive back right away.”  

“Okay, Dad. We know,” Alfred groans. They’re not babies anymore—Mattie and he can handle being left alone overnight while their parents go to see the philharmonic orchestra in Philadelphia for their anniversary.

“There are leftovers in the fridge that you can have for dinner tonight. You can order pizza tomorrow if we’re not back by six o’clock,” Papa reminds, just as worried and over-protective as Dad is being. “Make yourselves breakfast and lunch. We have plenty of fruit, cereal, bread, cold cuts, yogurt—” 

“Yes, Papa. We’ll make sure to eat,” Matthew interjects with a soft sniffle. “It’ll be fine.” 

Dad immediately notices said sniffle and flips out. He puts his duffle bag down and presses a hand against Matthew’s forehead, feeling for a fever and not finding one. “Are you all right? You aren’t coming down with something, are you? We can cancel the trip and—”

“No, no. It’s just allergies.” 

“…Okay, take an anti-histamine from the medicine cabinet.”  

“I will.” 

“In case of emergency—"

“Call 911. We know, Dad. We’re fifteen, not five!” Alfred sighs, tempted to physically push his parents out the front door at long last. 

Dad struggles to find something else to lecture them about and pushes his sunglasses farther up his nose before deciding, “All right…Behave and don’t get into any trouble. We love you.”

Dad and Papa exchange hugs with them before they finally cross the driveway, get into the car, and drive off, disappearing down the road. 

“Woo! Freedom! God that took forever!” Alfred exclaims as he locks the door and turns around to look at Matthew, who is standing by the stairs with his hands stuffed in the pocket of his navy-blue hoodie. “Our first time home alone for a whole night! We’ve been living sheltered lives, Mattie, but not anymore. Today, we’re men. So, who’re we inviting over?” 

Matthew clears his scratchy throat and gently rubs at his nose with his sleeve. “Umm…I’m pretty sure Papa and Dad said we’re not supposed to have any friends over…” 

“What they don’t know won’t hurt them.” 

“Al, they’ll find out.” 

“No, they won’t. Come on, Matt. Don’t be lame.”

“Yeah, they will. If not tomorrow, then eventually, and I don’t wanna break their trust. If we worry them or make them angry, they’ll never leave us home alone for more than a couple of hours again,” Matthew argues, and if this stupid cold would just leave him alone, everything would be peachy. He rubs at his chest, which feels a little tighter than usual, and takes two puffs of his inhaler. 

Alfred glowers and slumps his shoulders. “Yeah, I guess you’re right. We have to prove we can handle it at least once…You okay, bro? Your asthma’s acting up?” 

“It’s just from my allergies,” Matthew repeats because he has to keep up the lie. It’s spring, so it’s believable enough. To be entirely honest, he’s been feeling terrible since last night, but he didn’t want to give their parents a reason to cancel their trip. He doesn’t have a fever, so it can’t be that serious...It’s just a cold, and he doesn’t want to be an inconvenience. Their parents deserve to enjoy their anniversary without interruption. “Wanna play Smash?” he asks, changing the subject. Alfred doesn’t have the greatest attention-span, and he’ll hopefully forget all about this.

“Okay, sure. I’ll set up the Switch and the controllers. You should go and take your allergy medicine.” 

“Cool. Yeah,” Matthew replies. It’s the perfect opportunity to go upstairs, blow his nose without witnesses, and take some cough medicine…And another two puffs of his inhaler.  

He refuses to be a bother. He knows how to take care of himself. 

--------------------------------------

7 PM, Friday

Alfred has eaten enough mesquite barbecue chips to feed their entire block, and Matthew is genuinely astonished that he hasn’t been sick yet. How can so much junk food fit into one stomach? Now that no one is around to stop him, Alfred has devoured half of the fridge, and he still doesn’t seem to be totally full, even after dinner. 

Papa left them blanquette de veau, a French veal stew. It soothes Matthew’s throat and warms his chest, which feels lovely initially, but then the steam breaks up some of the mucus in his lungs and leaves him suffering through several coughing fits. Fortunately, Alfred is in the bathroom for the worst of it, and doesn't hear him hacking. 

They’ve been playing video games for hours now, and Matthew can feel a low-grade fever settle into his body. Every time he inhales, he can hear his lungs give off a tiny wheeze. 

When Alfred goes off to get some juice to drink, Matthew discreetly takes yet another two puffs of his inhaler. 

“This is getting kinda boring. Wanna put on Netflix? We can binge-watch Avatar: The Last Airbender.” 

Matthew would rather lie down in bed with his tablet or phone, but if he doesn’t join Alfred, he might grow suspicious, and then he’ll worry, or he’ll call their parents.

“Sure. Let’s do it…” 

--------------------------------------

1 AM, Saturday

 “Matt...? Matt? You’re falling asleep on me, bro.” 

Matthew is startled awake and fixes his glasses, which must have tilted awkwardly to the left while he was sleeping. He doesn’t know when he dozed off on the couch, but it was sometime during Book Two of Avatar. Dad and Papa called around 9 PM to check on them, and Alfred did all of the talking. He reassured them that they’re both alive and haven’t broken any part of themselves or anything in the house.  

Matthew squints at the clock on the wall. “It’s late…”

“Yeah. We should go to bed,” Alfred agrees, and he must be tired as well if he’s not insisting they pull an all-nighter. 

“I’m gonna brush my teeth.” 

“Okay. Have fun. I’m gonna live on the wild side and not brush ‘em,” Alfred says with a grin and a wink. 

“Wow, so edgy,” Matthew says, poking some fun at him before heading upstairs with a giant yawn. He’s exhausted, and the wheezing is back. He takes the nightly dose of his steroid inhaler and stares longingly at his nebulizer. He could do with a treatment, but it’s so loud, and then, Alfred would know something’s not right.  

So instead, he brushes his teeth, quietly takes some additional puffs of his rescue inhaler, and burrows under the covers of his bed, hoping this will all have blown over by the morning.

--------------------------------------

3 AM, Saturday

He can’t sleep. He can’t breathe. He needs a nebulizer treatment. Now. But it might wake Alfred. 

He risks it. There’s no other choice. 

And sure enough, five minutes into the treatment, Alfred plods into his room with drowsy eyes, and asks, “Mattie, what’s going on? You’re sick, aren’t you? Hang on. I’ll…I’ll call Dad and Papa, don’t worry.”  

“No!” Matthew shouts, surprised by the strength of his voice given the state of his lungs. “You can’t…It’s their anniversary…I’m fine.” 

“Matt, I’m pretty sure this counts as an emergency, bro.” 

“It’s not!”

“It’s the middle of the night and you can’t breathe—that’s an emergency, dude!”

“I’ll be fine after the nebulizer treatment is done,” he assures in a breathless rush around the nebulizer’s mouthpiece, but he’s not so sure he will be. 

“Well, we’ve gotta tell somebody!” Alfred shouts back at him before coming closer and touching his clammy forehead. “Dude, you’re burning up. What the hell? Why didn’t you say anything all night?”

Ignoring Matthew’s protests, Alfred makes the call. 

This isn’t going to be good…

--------------------------------------

5 AM, Saturday

“Matthew!”  

Dad and Papa burst through his bedroom door, and they’re by his side in a flash, fussing over him and acting as though he’s on the verge of death. They’re still dressed in the clothes they probably went to sleep in, and before Matthew can say a single word, Dad has his stethoscope on his chest and is listening to his lungs. He then clamps a pulse oximeter on his right index finger, waits for a reading, and frowns severely. 

While Papa strokes his head and asks him why he didn’t let them know sooner that he wasn’t feeling well, Dad disappears and then returns with three small pills and a glass of orange juice.

“Take these,” Dad instructs. 

Matthew wrinkles his nose as he puts the pills in his mouth and swallows them. The bitter aftertaste makes him shudder—prednisone. 

“Is he going to be all right?” Papa asks, squeezing Matthew’s hand.

“I’ll keep an eye on him. He should feel better once the steroid starts to work. We leave you boys home alone for one day, and you try to hide a medical emergency from us! What were you thinking?”

“It was very irresponsible,” Papa adds. 

And here he thought that Alfred would be the one to ultimately break their parents’ trust. 

“I’m sorry…I didn’t want you to have to cancel your trip. You’ve both been looking forward to it for a month,” Matthew timidly explains, breaths still shallow. 

“A trip can always be rescheduled. Your health can’t be,” Dad says sternly. “You had us worried sick. I was debating whether or not to tell Alfred to call for an ambulance. You should know better than to ever allow yourself to silently deteriorate like this!” 

“I’m sorry…” 

Dad sighs and rests a cold compress on his forehead. “We can decide on a punishment when you’re feeling well again.” 

A punishment? Really? Not fair.

Now is not a good time to argue though, so he lets Papa and Dad fret over him some more—they fluff his pillows, and force juice, water, and medicine for his fever down his throat. He feels awful knowing they lost sleep over him and had to hurry home, but at the same time, he’s grateful that they’re here, tending to him and monitoring him in case he gets worse. As much as he’d like to be regarded as an adult, he still wants his parents around when he’s unwell.  

“I’m really, really sorry…I feel terrible for ruining everything.” 

“Stop that,” Dad insists, shaking his head admonishingly at him. “We’re not upset with you for being ill—anyone can fall ill at any time and it’s out of one’s control. We’re upset that you tried to hide it from us, even if you thought you had the right intentions.” 

At that moment, Alfred peeks his head into the room, revealing that he’s been eavesdropping, and says, “I’d just like to point out that I did the responsible, mature thing, and called for help for my dearest, darling brother in his time of need. Very grown-up behavior—totally wise beyond my years. And because of that, I think, I deserve to be able to go to Six Flags next week with my friends.” 

Papa laughs heartily while Dad rolls his eyes. 

“Oui, you did the right thing, Alfred. But the greatest reward for helping your brother should be a sense of pride,” Papa notes.  

“I mean, yeah, but a physical reward would be kinda nice, too.” 

“Alfred,” Dad says with a warning tone. “Not now.” 

“All right, all right. I know. Just food for thought, you know? Glad Mattie’s okay, of course.” 

How in the world did Alfred come out on top? He’s a better adult? There’s no way! 

Okay, next time they’re home alone, they’re definitely throwing a party. 

That’ll show him. 

#hetalia #drabbles #aph face family #aph america #aph canada #aph england #aph france #home alone #house party (or lack of)

[bambisfuneral]

Warnings: Mentions of suicide

Ｅｎｔｅｒ ｐａｓｓｗｏｒｄ： ＊＊＊＊＊

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Ｗｅｌｃｏｍｅ Ｇｕｅｓｔ Ｕｓｅｒ

——————————————————————————

Sunlight soon covered your half sleeping form, it made you throw your arm over your face to shield you eyes from the light. After what felt like ten minutes which was only ten seconds, you slowly sat up and stared at the bulletin board that hung above your desk. Instead of there being only two pictures, there were now four. The first one was a candid picture of you writing in her notebook, the second one was of Tendou with a wide smile holding up a peace sign and you in the background pouting at him.

“So you know how I said I used to be in your same position? I used to be a patient too, and in this psych ward. I just kinda..... I didn’t have anybody else admit me here I signed myself up, but with the way people treated me and how they talked to me, it sorta felt like they were the ones that made me sign up. It was like everything I did and said was wrong. Y’know I played volleyball when I was in school? That was where my heart was at, but people took it so serious. Like what’s the point in playing if you can’t have fun doing it?” I listened intently to everything he said nodding in agreement, it did suck being treated like you were beneath any and everybody so I knew how Tendou felt.

“That was my paradise, but my last year of high school, my team lost nationals and after that, volleyball for me was no more. Actually, all those guys you seen in the staff room? We were all on the same team, he wasn’t here but this guy Ushijima, I think he was my first true friend. He was never scared of me! To him, I was just another guy. Can you believe that? I was actually normal to somebody for once, I was never a monster. But I didn’t know that growing up, I was so used to people calling me a monster that I eventually became one........”

Tendou had stopped talking and I looked up from the food he gave me to look at him, he was looking up at the stars and he had a longing look on his face. Eventually a small smile replaced that, “I was lucky though, I healed eventually. Not everybody gets the chance to do that, so I wanted to do better and be better. So I went to college to be certified to be a doctor here, it feels nice being able to connect with people in this field. And then it feels even better knowing you played a part in making other people feel like they’re something, even if it’s just for a second”. He had looked over at me and his smile grew, “oh by the way, that’s Semi’s left overs so you might wanna thank him for that the next time you see him”.

The memory swallowed your mind and it was like you was glued to her bed as your eyes stuck to the picture of the red-haired doctor, he was an odd one. But he kept you company and was definitely a lot more accommodating than most doctors. Maybe you should just relax today. You rolled your eyes crossing your arms stubbornly. I’m being serious Y/N, you beat yourself up a lot for things that aren’t your fault. You don’t want Satori to come back tomorrow figuring out that you’re putting yourself in an unfixable predicament. “Kenma it’s fine! I told you that I got it under control, I’ve been feeling okay” Yeah Tendou’s right, you are full of shit. You watched Kenma hop up on your desk swinging his legs, “Oh I didn’t realize I was here to get tag teamed by you two” and you’re right, you’re not. You’re here to get better, but you can’t do that if you’re making yourself feel like crap all the time. I’m telling you, being around Satori’s gonna be a good change for you. You bit your lip and changed into a fresh set of clothes tossing your dirty ones in a corner.

“Hey doll, I know you’re not gonna like this very much, but I’m not gonna be here tomorrow. I got the day off and I got things I need to do, but I’ll drop you off some lunch and dinner so you don’t gotta eat the crap that they serve in the cafeteria. So.... what do you like?”

“So what am I supposed to do when he’s gone?” You muttered to yourself frowning. Ummm maybe socialize? Go eat breakfast? Maybe go talk to one of Satori’s co-workers? Kenma was talking to you like you were slow and it frustrated you but knowing he was just looking out for you, you decided to let it go. “Okay well I guess we can find that one guy I’ll Dr. Tendou was talking to in the staff room last night, it’d be easier if I could just ask around but I don’t know his-” Dr. Semi Eita, you’re welcome.

“Okay so it’s your turn to share now, and IIIII knooow you want to ask me stuff. I can see it on your face” Tendou’s eyes to match his sly smirk and he poked my cheek repeatedly before I slapped his hand away, “I mean.... you said you weren’t mad but I’ve never seen you lash out like that and it didn’t happen until after you and that guy talked”. I watched as his smirk dropped and his eyes darkened, “Doll you’ve never seen me lash out, not even in the least. So listen to me when I say I wasn’t mad. Now what else’s on your mind?” My lips pursed to the side as I looked away from him and clenched my fists together on my lap, his hands covered mine and he slowly opened my fists. I could tell by his gaze that he was still waiting for me to answer his question.

You walked up to the marbled counter with a glass wall surrounded it, behind the glass was an older bigger woman with brown hair which was starting to grey. Her fingers cracked against the keyboards for what seemed like a good five minutes before she stopped and looked up at you coldly. The woman was looking at her over her glass before pushing the frames to the bridge of her nose, “can I help you?”. You looked over at Kenma nervously and he was leaning against the wall with a thumbs up, you just huffed and turned back to the lady behind the counter. “Yes um.....” Y/N...... I swear, you spent eight minutes in your room just trying to figure out what you had to say and you spent an extra ten minutes reciting what you were planning on saying. Stop overthinking it and get it over with. This made her eyes widen and fists clench tightly, “I was wondering if I could see Dr. Semi? I’m assigned to Dr. Tendou but he’s not here today and he said if I needed to talk to somebody then to ask one of his doctor friends”

There was a moment of silence with the lady staring at her with amusement dancing in her eyes. A few seconds passed by before she pressed one of the buttons on a metal board off to the side, “Dr. Semi? Yes you have a patient here to talk to you, so if you would just come around to the front to come get her that’d be great. She said she’s one of Dr. Tendou’s patients”

“I was wondering if tonight could be our first official solo therapy? And maybe whenever we have them, we can have them up here?” I asked meekly only to be met with silence and then a thundering laugh, “That’s all? Yeah I doubt that was the only thing that’s been going through your brain these passed thirty minutes”. My lips curled downward while I shook my head, “Obviously not but I can’t just sit here and dump all my thoughts on you all at once!” A small smile was given to me which seem like a sign of appreciation, “Okay well we can start with that solo therapy then, how’s every Monday, Wednesday, Friday, and Sunday at eight sound?”

The man from last night came around the wall next to the counter and gave you a warm smile. “Dr. Semi?” He just nodded and reached his hand out for you to grab, “You can just call me Semi, it’s fine. Let’s go into my office” you followed behind him and you looked back to see Kenma grinning to himself. He gave you a reassuring smile before turning to leave, you wanted to call out after him but you felt eyes boring into the side of your head. When you turned back to face Tendou’s co-worker, he was looking at you with a patient look but sort of threw his head motioning to go walk inside his office, so into his office you went. As soon as you walked in he patted the other end of the sleek burgundy couch he was sitting on, “so, is everything okay? Tendou told you he was off today right?”

You just nodded your head making yourself comfortable on the cold material you were sitting on, “Yeah I just wanted to know if he’s gonna be back tomorrow, and I was kinda wondering if I could have a solo therapy session with you? And maybe you could record it so you can show it to Dr. Tendou?” Semi smiled softly at you nodding. “Yeah, of course! I’m assuming that things are going smoothly with you and him because of what you just asked of me? And thank you for feeling comfortable enough to talk with me” This made you mirror the smile on his face as you dropped your hands in your lap, “Yeah! I was pretty indifferent at first, but Kenma convinced me that this would be good for me. And yeah, I figured that if Satori knew you in high school and you were still friends that you couldn’t be all that bad. Especially with how he is....... but I have a question”

Demi’s eyebrows quirked up at the use of Tendou’s first name, he barely allows anybody to use his first name so it took him by surprise, his predicament must’ve been more serious than he let on. He stayed quiet but gestured for you to continue with your question, “Last night when you and him were talking, why did he ended up so...... not mad but....” you didn’t even know what to say to described how he was and how it felt being near him during that ride up to the roof but it seemed like Semi understood what you meant because he chuckled knowingly.

“Yeah see, it’s not really my place to tell you this, but I’m sure Tendou’s already told you about him being a passed patient here. He gets a certain attachment to people easily and he used to be very co-dependent to the individuals he was attached to, it was very unhealthy what he was going through. He’s actually still bettering himself about it. So he was just telling me some things and I was trying to understand the situation and tell him that things aren’t always what they seem, then he just..... sort of became frustrated. It’s hard to explain but I hope you understand, maybe tomorrow you can talk to him about it. Now about that session, let’s begin?” You nodded and on cue he hit the recording button on his voice recorder, “So Miss Y/N, why are you here?”

“So doll, are you gonna tell me why you’re here? Did you sign yourself up orrr....” Tendou didn’t finish the last part to his sentence but I understood where he was going with it, “um..... okay so I was actually signed up by my parents, back in my first year of high school. The doctors at the ward I was assigned to said nothing was wrong with me, but then my parents told them about my habits, how I acted, what I did, all that fun stuff, and so the doctors deemed me to have a type two bipolar disorder, schizophrenic, aaaand a compulsive liar”. I seen Tendou grinned to myself and my brow raised in confusion, “Yeah I seen the compulsive liar part in your files and I started questioning that, cause you haven’t been showing any signs of being a liar”

I huffed and rolled my eyes in irritation, “it’s because I’m not! My parents were so hellbent on trying to convince them that I was suicidal, but I’m not and I never was! I just know my life’s gonna be cut short eventually. But it’s life, it happens to everybody eventually so I was never phased by it and they just deemed it as me being suicidal...... okay so I lied, I was suicidal but that wasn’t until after they prescribed me Zoloft because of my bipolar disorder. After they started making me take Zoloft I was in a very dark place. I wouldn’t take showers for days, I never wanted to get up, I woke up everyday not seeing the purpose in life so I never wanted to do anything....... I was at the lowest of the low and I didn’t know what to do.”

I looked over at Tendou trying to read his face but he just smiled at me almost innocently which gave me the confidence to keep talking, “okay so this went on until I graduated high school. They had me taking online courses which didn’t go too well. But guess what? It turns out that the doctors at that specific ward were giving all the patients that were showing even a minor sign of being upset Zoloft because they knew that the patient would eventually commit suicide. So the ward shut down” the disgusted look on Tendou’s face matched mine and he frowned deeply. “It took..... three years for them to get that piece of shit ward to get shut down? That’s beyond me” I just exhaled a breath and pursed my lips, “Yeah I know, but they just ended up transferring me to a different ward but I was legally an adult so they gave me a choice and well..... I have a friend, he’s actually in this ward also! He actually convinced me to stay, but not for him. It was for my own benefit, me and him have been friends since elementary school!”

Tendou had a look of shock and confusion on his face, “oh..... really? What’s his name?” I nodded my head happily and smiled widely. “Kozume Kenma!”

Ａｒｅ ｙｏｕ ｓｕｒｅ ｙｏｕ ｗｏｕｌｄ

ｌｉｋｅ ｔｏ ｓｉｇｎ ｏｕｔ？

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Ｃｌｏｓｉｎｇ ａｌｌ ｔａｂｓ

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Ｗｅｌｃｏｍｅ Ｄｒ． Ｔｅｎｄｏｕ

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Tendou had just walked you back to your room and he was headed back to the staff room with long and fast steps, when he reached the door it swung open due to the force of him pushing against it. It slammed against the wall behind it and his friends were once again still sitting down at the table bewildered, “Tendou? What’s wrong?” He shook his head conflicted before pointing at his silver haired co-worker. “Come with me”

He led him into his office and walked up to his computer without closing the door behind him or sitting on his chair, he just pushed it out of the way. His fingers slammed against the keys rapidly, “What’s wrong now Tendou?” Semi came up behind him with a puzzled expression. Tendou just stayed quiet and kept typing on his computer, “Okay so look, Y/N said that she has a friend at this ward right? But if you look in our files, there are no results for a Kozume Kenma” Tendou mocked Y/N’s voice when he said his name, “She also mentioned that he was roomed with her. Buuuuuut if you got to the files of the first ward she was at, their files say a guy named Terashima was roomed with her”

Semi sucked a breath in before thinking silently, “We could make a call to the second ward she was transferred to and ask the big guys that work there about her” Tendou nodded deep in thought. “Yeah.... yeah that could work” it was silent as the phone line rang, Tendou tapped his fingers against his desk timidly and Semi was sitting down on the previously unoccupied rolly chair. The phone rang a few more times before a deep voice answered, and Tendou made eye contact with Semi. “Yeah this is Doctor Tendou Satori at the Shiratorizawa Psych Ward, who am I talking to?......Alright Mr. Kuroo, well I’m assigned to this woman, L/N F/N, that was recently transferred from you guys. She told me about a Kozume Kenma but there are no results of one in your files?”, Tendou hit the speaker button and the voice on the other line inhaled deeply before letting out a long sigh.

“Yeah..... there was no Kozume Kenma in our ward. But the three of us were friends growing up, Kenma actually committed suicide when we were in secondary school. That was when Y/N started showing major signs of depression and schizophrenia, she started seeing and hearing Kenma everywhere she went but when she transferred to our ward, I made sure that I was the one assigned to look after her. It seemed like she was getting better but I could tell being around me was holding her back from fully healing, so I transferred her again.” It was like Tendou and Semi were having a staring contest the entire time, Tendou’s lips were parted with a loss of words.

“Oh..... alright thank you for this new information, well have a good rest of your ni-” He was cut off by Kuroo, “Hey listen.... Tendou was it? How’s she doing? How is Y/N?” Tendou sucked air through his teeth feeling lost. “I thought it was going pretty good, but with what you just told me? It’s like I’m back at square one with her” The line was silent before a knock was heard on the other side, “Okay look, I gotta go but I’ll email you my personal number alright? We can talk more about it if you want, and maybe.... you can keep me updated on her?” He just nodded like the man was right in front of him to see.

“Sure thing, alright I’ll let you go. Have a good one” The phone clicked and Tendou sighed letting his head drop, “Semi?....... I gotta do it” he turned his head to the side to meet eyes with his friend and Semi just sighed crossing his arms. “Only if you genuinely feel like it’ll better her wellbeing”

Ａｒｅ ｙｏｕ ｓｕｒｅ ｙｏｕ ｗｏｕｌｄ

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[etraytin]

Quarantine, Day 103

June 22

Tonight's journal is coming to you from my balcony, where it is dark at nearly ten pm and very humid, but still pleasant with all my plants growing and the hum of air conditioners all around me. 

And fucking yikes, those are some large bugs. The inside is also very appealing at this hour. I think I will write from my armchair this evening. 

Anyway, I need to go to bed earlier than usual tonight because I have a very early morning tomorrow. Poll workers need to report to the precinct by 5am, and although I'm lucky to live nearly on top of our polling place, I still need to shower and dress and pack my breakfast, lunch and dinner before I go. We typically don't finish till 8:30pm, sometimes later, so it's a damn long day when you're not allowed to leave the precinct for any reason. Typically we make it nicer by throwing a big potluck of foods people can eat on all day long, but COVID ruins everything once again. At least there's a fridge and a microwave so I won't be stuck with PBJs and tepid water bottles. 

The procedure is going to be different this time, too. I work pollbook most of the time at our precinct, which is the computer we use to check people in. It's not difficult work, but it is exacting, and it must be done right every time. Almost every counting discrepancy in a precinct starts at the pollbook, with somebody who didn't get entered properly for one reason or another. I have not made any major mistakes yet, knock on wood! There is a special precinct captain just for the pollbook, who does not work the pollbook but watches us working the pollbook to make sure we do it right. She's very demanding, for obvious reasons, and insists that we follow a particular procedure that is the same every time, so no steps ever get missed. This time we can't touch anybody's ID, which is going to make things different since we usually hold the ID till we've pushed the key to enter the voter, and we have to hand out the ballot ourselves instead of sending them to a ballot table. I'm hoping we get off to kind of a slow start so we can get the hang of things. I really, really do not want to be the person who causes a counting discrepancy. The biggest thing we've got going in our favor is that it's a simple Republican primary, so only one ballot type to hand out, and attendance is likely to be fairly light.

Going to bed early will be easy, at least, because the new mattress topper is here! Yay! It's very soft and cushy and I love it deeply already. I've only laid on it a little because it needs to recover from being vacuum sealed, but I can tell we're going to be the very best of friends.Our super-old mattress for the past two nights has made my back and neck very sad. We can't afford a new mattress, but this is like a new mattress, or close enough for now. I'm finally looking forward to going to bed! 

Today was grocery pickup day, so we finally have milk and eggs and yogurt and such. The morning routine was disrupted when we realized that the truck's battery was flat after sitting for so many weeks, but I was able to take the battery pack we got for Christmas from my folks and use it to jump the battery, with some Facetime assistance from my dad. I know the principles of jumping a battery, but never had to do it on my own before. It's not too hard. I then had to go over to the post office, a chore that always ruins my day a little. 

I don't understand what is wrong with my post office because I have dealt with many many post offices in all the places I've lived and none of them have been terrible like this one! I went in and told them that I wasn't getting my mail and asked if they might be holding it. Officious Asshole Guy, as he shall henceforth be known, assured me that they did not hold any mail without an order to hold it. I told him that I had a hold mail for the first two weeks of May, but that my mailbox was bursting when I got home May 16, so I assumed that, per usual, the mail carrier ignored my hold. I asked if he could go check, and he did, and came back with a big bundle of mail. He informed me that it was my fault that I wasn't getting my mail because I'd said I'd pick up my mail on May 16 but I hadn't done so. I reiterated that I'd gotten all my mail up until May 16, and that this must be mail from later, after the hold mail expired. He insisted that was not the case, that they never held mail without a hold mail order and never did not hold mail that had been ordered held, and that if I hadn't gotten any mail in a month, it was because people weren't sending me anything. It was useless to argue with him, so I took my mail and left. Everything in the pile was, of course, from after May 16. I went home and reminded all my family and friends on Facebook to please not send us anything via postal mail because the probability of it not reaching us is fairly high. I am sticking with my resolution to not leave any negative comments or complaints for anybody who has to work during the pandemic, no matter how terrible they are, but this guy really, really tempted me. 

Just typing all that out has angried up my blood again, so I'll finish out with nicer stuff. The kiddo is back to using the knitting loom, which is a nice hobby and something good to do while listening to podcasts. He's been a little high strung since we got home, settling back into the routine, but it's getting gradually better. I wish it weren't so hot, so the kids could go out and play distantly with each other. Virginia is on a downswing right now, so it's not too unsafe except for the heat exhaustion part. My husband's summer class didn't make, not enough students signed up, so while that's a little less money for us this summer, it also means more time for him to work on his book. 

And my mail today included two interesting COVID artifacts I will probably save: my son's report card with all V's (not evaluated) for his fourth quarter grades and merely a notation at the bottom that he is being promoted to fifth grade, and my sister's wedding invitation with an "everything could change at any time" caveat right under the RSVP instructions. These are strange days we are living in, but the weirdest thing I saw today was a Crayola Maskpack commercial that looked exactly like a commercial for any other Crayola school products, kids running, jumping, coloring in the classroom, interacting with their teachers, except every single person except one mom at home was wearing a bright colorful facemask. It looked so bizarre I watched it through twice, couldn't look away. It really is a new world. 

#quarantine #crayola #election 2020

[blackrosesfanfic]

Chapter 222

Cammie

Caden jumps out of his sleep staring at me what seemed to be intense like. I stare back at him for a few seconds then I lower him down to his crib. He just stares at me the whole time I'm resting him on the mattress. I pull my hand back lying him flat. He explodes. Not literally. But he explodes. Tears and all. I cross my arms staring at him as he starts kicking his feet. Is he having a baby temper tantrum? What is this?

"Why are you doing him like that?" Trey says coming up to the crib reaching in. "Come on man."

"Caden is fake." I snap.

Caden acts like his world is crumbling still. Oh my goodness. This baby is super fake. Trey bounces him around the room as he cries louder and louder. Now let's see what he does when I take him from Trey. I go over and abruptly take him from Trey. Caden takes one look at me and starts smiling instead of crying. He couldn't help revealing his spoiled ass game. I suck my teeth.

"Why didn't you pick him up then? Don't make him cry like that." Trey says upset.

"Shut up."

He was about to say something but in walks my mother. I frown then I look at the time. I look back at her.

"How did you... i am so sorry." I say. "Did you have trouble getting here? Your plane landed 2 hours ago."

"Trey happened to be in the area." My mother says.

I cut my eyes at him. "Doing what? Why did you leave?"

Trey kinda dismiss himself. "I'm allowed to leave home without you knowing. I was in the area."

"I can't stand you." I say turning back to Caden.

"How have you been?" My mother asks.

I shrug. "I've been trying to get him to sleep for the past 2 hours. He doesn't want to sleep. When he finally went to sleep he woke up cause I landed him down."

"Hey, Caden." My mother says from a distance. "Your husband is quite moody."

"Oh you think." I snap.

"I also think you trigger it." She chuckles. "He was just fine in the car. Walking into the house. Put my bag down walked in here and woah. Anyway, I'm going to shower. Get this airport air off me. Los Angeles is so... dirty."

I chuckle. "Okay."

"See you later Caden." She says bothering his foot. He gives her a little fake laugh. "Is he not feeling good?"

"I have him an appointment tomorrow. I don't think so."

"Check his temperature. He could be hiding a fever." Ma says walking away. She starts talking once she is in the hall. "Was that your plan, sweetie? Don't let your emotions win every time. The heart is never emotional. Your heart is solid in what is feels. It never changes but your mind... Focus. There's a reason we came here instead of going to see Lane."

I smile looking at the door. Mother and her pep talks. My mother is a writer and she often writes poetry. She said she used to write a lot of songs for my father that he would play for her. Trey walks into the room on his phone. He walks back out of the room.

"Yes, ma'am." He says then laughs. "I'll get some more towels sent over. Oh there's a service, yes. They clean and bring towels and fresh linen. They cook too but Chris putting together a dinner. Yes ma'am."

Trey walks into the room with his phone once again. I lie Caden on Lane's bed then step away from the bed. Next thing I know Trey is across the room to the bed. I turn around quickly looking at Caden. Trey lies him back down on the bed.

"What are you doing?" I retort.

"He was rolling off the bed." Trey snaps.

I move him. "Caden can't roll. Can you Caden? Did you do that?"

Caden just stares at me. I backwards away from the bed going back to grab his things to change his diaper. He could see me still so he just stares at me. Trey picks him up turning him how I had him the first time. He starts whining then turns his head from side to side. He sees me then he turns his upper body staring. He better stop with the badness. I throw the diaper at him hitting his stomach. He looks at Trey then turns his body more. Trey moves him over from the edge of the bed. My stank baby.

"Jayla." Trey says now lying across the twin bed with Caden. "I'm sorry."

"For what Tremaine?" I bark.

He takes Caden's clothes off. "Being so insensitive and demanding. I expect so much from you. I never want us to end but I'm scared."

I throw the wipes at him. "Who coached you on things to say?"

"Nobody." He shrugs. "Only sometimes I see myself for the jackass I am. I love you. I love us."

"Mmhh." I say pulling Caden to me. He gets excited like we playing. "Caden go to sleep."

Trey touches my side then he lies down. "Jayla, I didn't fuck anybody."

"It shouldn't be a question Tremaine. If you want me to continue to trust in you then you wouldn't allow there to be fucking situations like this. You don't know. And you blame it on being drunk? High? Tremaine, did I not tell you that..."

"Yes." He says covering his face. "What can I do? I don't know what to say, Jayla. I don't know what to do. I fucked up. I said that already."

"But you want me to forgive you? You want me to keep trusting you?"

He sits up looking at me then he looks at Caden who was staring at him. Caden smiles at Trey when Trey smiles at him. Caden looks at me then he starts kicking his feet so I couldn't put on his diaper. I stop trying and look at him. He stops kicking then looks at Trey. Trey kisses him making him laugh.

"Okay, I'm ready." April says walking into the room. Nobody says anything. "Chris has been busting his ass for the two of you. I'm not even asking if you are going. I'll be back in 10 minutes. Fucking shame."

I look at Caden and Trey playing. I walk away going into the bathroom. I had to forgive Trey for everything he did when I flew to his rescue in Vegas. All of this is just excessive talking and attitude. But I don't want to keep going through this with him. I turn around about to say something but I stop. He was standing at the bathroom door with Caden. I push him out of the door then close it. I change my mind. Let him think I hate him for a bit longer.

 Trey

"I can't put him down." I laugh looking down at Caden who was staring at me eat my cake.

"Give him to Cammie." Chris says looking around.

I shrug. "She doesn't want him."

Chris sucks his teeth. "I finally get your bad ass son to go to sleep. Now I have to deal with the second one. Bring him outside then."

"Bugs." I say biting my cake.

"Sounds like you don't want to come outside to the fire." Chris says walking away.

I look at Caden. Hd is acting like a fucking brat. But it's okay because I need somebody to need me right now. When we got here Lane was too wired on exhaustion to do anything but cry. Cammie was about to spank him but Chris saved him and he went to sleep with Chris eating ice cream. I drink my water then stand up. Chris has been doing a lot of shit today. I guess I'll try a bit harder to get Caden to sleep. I take him into the bedroom and turn the air down to 65. I strip Caden down to his disper then lay him down on his stomach. He starts crying. I stay quiet in the room and not touch him.

"Do you not hear him crying? Your ears busted?" Rollie says coming into the room.

"He need to go to sleep." I say.

Caden stops crying and listens. Rollie stares at Caden for a few seconds. I tilt my head at Rollie.

"What you got against kids crying?" I snap then chuckle. "They can't cry?"

"There is no reason for them to cry while someone teaches them a lesson."

I glance at Caden who was going to sleep. "No lesson here. We good."

"So what's up?"

"Meaning?"

He shrugs. "With you and Cammie."

I shake my head a bit. "We still married. That's all I know."

"Would you sign the divorce papers if I got a lawyer to write some out?"

"No." I say not thinking about it.

Rollie chuckles. "Why not? You want her to be happy."

"Not with nobody else, nigga."

He turns to the door then he turns back around. "Nigga I would just like to say that if you didn't have millions of dollars and a reputation for being sexy, don't get that confused in anyway with me calling you sexy. I know you and Chris be on that shit. But yeah." He chuckles to himself. "Nigga you wouldn't get a 10th of the girls you get. Lame ass."

"I don't see girls lined up for you."

He laughs loudly. "I'm trying to be faithful. Let's bet after you fuck up your marriage to my sister and I fuck up everything before marriage."

"Say what?" Someone says from the hallway.

Rollie steps into the hall. "Leah, you fucking nosey. I wasn't talking to you."

"I don't care if you were talking to me."

"Go ahead about your night now." Rollie says coming back in the room. "Trey your shit contagious. Stay the hell away from me, bitch."

"Sounds... I definitely hear aggression." I nod.

I stand up from the bed slowly. Caden moves his head some. I didn't realize he had his feet on me until I got up. He takes a deep breath then goes back to sleep. I back up away from the bed scared to make any noise.

"Tremaine, you..."

"Shhh." I spin around grabbing Jayla and pushing her out the room. "You the last person he needs to hear."

She looks around me then she pushes me off her. I grab her hugging her tight to me. She doesn't do anything. I stare at her. I don't know what to say or do. She looks around me again into the room then she moves away from me.

"Jayla..."

"Don't wake him up." She whispers walking into the room. I walk in behind her. "Don't."

I ignore her following her to her clothes. She looks back at me. Cammie I am so sorry. Just forgive me and we move on. You being stubborn and mean. I didn't fuck nobody. In the perfect scenario I could say that and it be over. But my wife not gonna take that. I fucked up and that's that. Nothing I can do but beg her. I look her up and down. Or I could try to get out of it with sex which she always think I'm doing when I'm not. But right now I would be. I sit down and watch her take off her clothes. She unconsciously forgets about me. It felt a bit dirty. She so damn sexy.

"Okay, Bae. So I talked to Debra." Sevyn says coming into the room.

"Excuse you." Cammie says cutting her eyes at Sevyn.

Seven shows Cammie her phone. "You know you need to stop. I done seen every inch of that body."

"Shut up." Cammie laughs turning her back to Sevyn. "Do this thing. I think it's broke."

"Just go in the water with your mommy titties. It's gonna be dark."

"You can see these shits like beckons. No."

Cammie looks up at me like she forgot I was there. She stares at me while covering her titles with the bathing suit top. It covered her stomach but had her back out. She should have just wore a top without the cover. Modest Cammie. Sevyn turns her around.

"Did you see it?"

"Yeah. I like blue."

Sevyn nods leaving out. "Okay. I like the white and the gold ones. I'll get you blue."

Cammie goes back to getting ready. She turns around throwing something at me. I look down at my lap. Swimming trunks. I guess Jayla. I take my shirt off. By this point Cammie was fully dressed in her not so revealing two piece. Maybe I will be as selfless as possible. I stand up walking over to her. She holds up a different pair of trunks as if I told her I didn't want the first pair. I grab her hips. She doesn't move or anything. I run my hands up her cover to her titties. Gotdamn. I kneel down while running my hands down to her thighs tangling my fingers up in her bottoms. She exhales. My freaky Jayla. I pull her shorts down a bit.

"Tremaine." She whispers but moans.

"Hope that's not a stop." I say then kiss her mound.

She inhale. I slide my hand into her shorts feeling her heat. I pull her shorts to the floor with the other hand as I slide my fingers towards her pussy. She moans. A horny Jayla. I chuckle to myself then spread her legs and start sucking on her clit. She stumbles a bit. I slide a third finger into her leaking hot insides. She moans once again almost losing her balance. I lift her leg resting her thigh on my shoulder. She cums. I speed up finger fucking her harder. I bite around her clit barely brushing against it with my lips. She touches my face warning me that I was doing too much for her to be quiet. I look up at her. She has her hand over her mouth.

"Something wrong?" I ask digging into her pussy.

She switches hands and leans onto my free shoulder. I had cum all over my arm and hand. I lick the cum as it leaks out of her pussy. She fucking moans as if she were weeping and holding in her scream. Mhhm. I wrap my free arm around her back and lift her a bit. I lower her to the floor. Damn I wanted to fuck her so bad. But I won't get shit from this. As hard as it is, I have decided. It's final. I open her legs and slide my fingers out of her pussy slowly. She moves her hips moaning. I kiss her wet sticky lips then slide my tongue into her throbbed pussy. She moans. I press my hand down on her clit. She starts moving her hips against my hand and face. I digg my tongue deep in her pussy flicking her spot. She screams then covers her mouth. I wipe my face with my clean hand and get in her face. She had her eyes closed breathing hard. I kiss her lips then stand up off the floor. She opens her eyes staring at me. I grab the swimming trunks and go over to the bed. Caden was still sleep. I go to his baby bag and put the sleeping monitor and camera on him. It tells if he wakes up or rows over.

"Tremaine?" Cammie says.

"Yeah." I turn around looking at her as she comes out the bathroom.

"Like..." she steps into her shorts. "I mean I liked that and all but..."

I pull the trunks up on me. She doesn't say anything. "Uh huh?"

"Nevermind." She says walking towards the door.

"Jay." I say going up and grabbing her. "What?"

She kinda shakes her head. "Nothing."

I stare at her then I smirk. "You wanted some dick?"

"I..."

"Aye?" Chris snaps walking in. "No dick. Let's go."

Cammie sucks her teeth. "Chris is the fire gonna blow out?"

"It's not about the fire." Chris says pointing towards the door. "Baby sleep let's go."

"Jay." I say grabbing her close to me. I whisper. "I just wanted it to be about you."

Chris puts his hand between us. "Move this way."

I slap his arm. "You bugging."

"This way." Chris says again.

"You so dramatic." Cammie spazzes on Chris pushing him. "About to have a fit cause you can't hold your excitement in. Calm down."

Chris didn't care. He was satisfied that she was moving towards the door. Cammie walks away then Chris follows her. I glance back at Caden again then smile. My little man. I hate to leave to go outside. Seems far away.

[ateez-ly]

The Gift of a Kiss

Challenge six of the @daybreakx writing challenge || challenge one | challenge two | challenge three | challenge four | challenge five ||

I got a bit carried away, I'm sorry

Member: wouldn't you like to know? ;)

Genre: royalty au, angst, fluff, historical au

Pairing: Reader x idol

Prompt: Someone is the “secret heir” to a big/famous company, or the characters think the other person is out of their league

Word count: 2,513

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I'm just a commoner. I was born into a world of farm and famine. It's a difficult life, not knowing if tomorrow you'll be able to eat. And as if that was bad enough, you never knew when a Lord, a Baron, or maybe some bandits would come and take everything you had just because they can. But it is also cosy on the good days, a small house on the outskirts of the village filled with love. And that, for me, is enough. I don't need a leather pouch filled to the brim with gold or clothes made of silk to make me happy. All I really need is my family, our field and… our animals. I'm suddenly startled by loud clucking noises. I set down my basket and move towards the door to the chickens, picking up a knife just in case there was a bandit lurking. I clutch the knife in one hand, pushing the door open with the other. The stranger standing amongst our chickens is startled and falls face first into the mud. I keep my knife held out to be sure. Then the man lifts his head and looks at me, a sheepish smile on his face. "What business do you have here?" I ask him sternly, examining his face.

The man furrows his eyebrows, opening his mouth to speak. But then he pauses, softens his expression and tries again. "I guess you could say that I'm lost." He says before stumbling to his feet and looking down at his dirty clothes. "Could you run me a bath?" I'm astounded at the man's arrogance and scoff, turning away from him. He doesn't seem to know quite what to say, because he follows it up with a desperate "Please?" I tuck my knife away and ignore him, but he rushes after me.

"Who do you think you are? This is my house and you stumble in, disturbing my animals and then asking for a bath. Anybody would think that you were royalty, the way you walk around as if you own the place. I'll tell you, sir, the best you'll get from me is some directions to a pond. You can wash yourself off there." I narrow my eyes and him and walk back into my house, laying out the table. I look up as I do so, finding the man still standing there. I'm not sure if I'm just too soft for my own liking, but a part of me feels as if I should help him. After all, if he really is lost as he says he is, does he have anywhere to stay? I would feel bad if a lost traveller starved or froze because he had nowhere safe to stay. "Since it's late, I will give you some fresh clothes, you can't sleep in those. You can stay for the night if you have nowhere else to go, but only for the night." I beckon him in and he enters cautiously. I hand him some clean dry clothes. "We will be eating soon. You should eat too. You'll need all the energy you can get tomorrow."

Dinner is awkward. My family keeps looking over at him, probably wondering who he is. I'm wondering the same, but I'm too hungry to ask him right now. He eats slowly, and I can tell he's not particularly enjoying it, so I give him some of my bread, hoping he'll enjoy that more. Me and my family eat our supper in no time. They all disperse afterwards, probably because there is a stranger in our house. I begin to clear the table, watching the unfamiliar man still eating. I'm starting to wonder if he's a slow eater or if he's used to something more hearty. If he lives out in the country, he may be eating roasted lamb instead of vegetable stew. Or maybe it's because he's in a strange place with strange people. Once he finishes eating, he looks up at me. "I'm sorry, I've been rude." I look at him, surprised but thankful. "You've shown me kindness and given me a place to stay even though you don't know me. You've given me food even though it meant you had less to eat. You've given me things I never asked for, things you didn't have to give, but you did so anyway. I am forever in your debt." I can tell from the way he's looking at me that he means every word of what he says. 

Strangely, I find myself drawn to him. Despite his bad manners before, I can see that underneath he is a good man. He leans down and I don't make any attempt to move away as he kisses me. It's only brief, but I can feel the sincerity in it. I find myself wishing that it had lasted longer, which is hard to believe because I don't yet know his name or who he is or where he's from. I think he can read my thoughts, as he explains himself. "I'm not from this kingdom." I'm surprised to hear that. What reason could someone from another kingdom have to be here? That kind of travel could be dangerous. "I'm here on a quest. I hear that there is a special plant in a cave within this kingdom." Suddenly it makes sense. "I'm hoping that it can save my mother." He says so quietly that it's almost a whisper. "I know it's dangerous, things are tense between our kingdoms, but this is the most important thing I've ever had to do." 

Now I'm glad that I stopped to help, because I know the cave well. Since I was young I often sat in the cave to relax and watch the world move around me. I, too, know how important that plant can be. It can, and has, saved lives in the past. I've had to make the remedy he needs many times for the people in the village, so perhaps this is a strange coincidence. "I know the forest well, the cave too. I know where the plant you need is located. I can help you find it, we both know you'd need it." I offer, looking at him for his approval, but he shakes his head. He probably thinks he can find it himself, but he couldn't even find his way out of my garden. What makes him think that he can find his way through a dense forest, to a hidden cave, and find a small plant? But I can tell from his expression that he is stubborn and that convincing him to let me help him would take a miracle. "I can't let you. Who knows what kind of people are lurking in that forest. It's not safe for someone who doesn't know how to fight."

I'm not quite sure what to say to that. "What makes you think I don't know how to fight? Because I'm just a commoner? Because I've never held a sword?" I question. I see him tense and then it hits me. "But... you have, haven't you? Wow, you had me fooled. No wonder you demanded a bath and hadn't the faintest idea what a live chicken looked like. So tell me, what are you exactly? A knight? The son of a knight?" I ask, not really prepared to hear his answer, but I need to know, because I need to understand just who I'm dealing with right now. Who is this man? Why did I start to trust him before knowing him?

He gives me a sheepish look, sighing. He mumbles something that I can't quite make out, and I ask him to repeat what he said. He looks back at me like a scolded child. "I'm a prince." Although it's barely louder the second time, I hear him loud and clear. A prince? In my house? I feel like a fool for not knowing. It was obvious that he wasn't like me from the start. The way he spoke wasn't like a commoner. But why did I write him as a slightly better-off commoner? Perhaps a part of me was wishing he was like me. But now I felt small standing in front of him. Who was I really, compared to him? A nobody. And him, somebody. Somebody who I can only imagine many people look up to. One day he will be king and he will control an entire kingdom, but I will always be as I've always been. A commoner, who doesn't even control a small piece of land. I'm not deserving of him in the slightest.

"If only I had known." He looks back at me, furrowing his eyebrows.

"Then what? Would you have treated me differently? Welcomed me with smiles and given me anything so long as it keeps me happy? Hold back your true thoughts because I'm royalty?" He said harshly, turning his back to me.

I chewed my lip, shaking my head. "No, you acted appallingly back there. I don't regret sharing my true feelings because you deserved to hear them." I blow out a candle and take a cautious step. "But if I had known, I would have tried to cook something a little less… that." I look down at my hands, playing with the fabric of my clothes. "And I wouldn't have let you kiss me." I mutter, moving past him to go to bed.

I didn't sleep much, so it's hardly a surprise that I wake earlier than him. I quietly slip on my cloak and grabbed a basket, making sure to open the door carefully so that I don't wake him. Fortunately, the woods aren't too far of a walk from my home, so I approach them in no time. I slip into the forest, weaving in and out of the thick foliage until I reach the point where I see a vague shape of a path. I follow the path until I hear the distant trickle of a stream. I'm close to the cave at this point. Now I must veer off of the path to the left, stepping over a series of small rocks in the process. Very soon I see what to any other would look like a small cliff, the cave entrance almost completely concealed by weeds and vines. Almost. I manage to push the vines aside with my basket, watching as they swish back into place behind me. It's dark, but a tiny trickle of light illuminates the plant I need. Its leaves shimmer a light silver colour in the light. I take my knife that has been tucked into my belt and cut off the parts I need and scramble out of the cave as quickly as I had entered it.

He still hasn't woken by the time I've arrived home and made the medicine. Part of me wants to wake him but I decide against it. My heart feels heavy in my chest. I know that the sooner he gets the medicine back to his mother, the sooner he will leave and have no reason to return. The thought is both a relief and painful. Even though I barely know the prince, I feel oddly attached to him. Perhaps it's just from being tucked away from others, or perhaps we were meant to meet like this. But even if we were meant to meet, that doesn't mean that we're meant to be something. Even if we wanted for that to happen, it couldn't. Maybe in another life we could have been.

I didn't realise I had fallen back asleep until I wake in my bed, covered with a blanket. I see a small piece of paper next to me and sit up, opening it. So he took the medicine and left without a goodbye. I suppose I was asleep, though. It was probably best that way, anyway. I hold the paper to my chest, silently wishing him the best. As quickly as he entered my life, he is gone and I don't know what to feel.

It's about a week later when he returns. I hear a fuss being made outside. He's not even our prince, relations between our kingdoms aren't even favourable. Yet the people outside seem to fall at his feet. I hear my name be spoken and I know that I'll have to face him again. Why is he here again? To thank me? To tell me that he didn't make it back in time? I timidly step out into the street, looking up at him. He sits proudly up high on his horse, a rose red cape floating behind him as he dismounts and approaches me. I can feel the other villagers' eyes on me. They're probably wondering what the prince could want to do with me. "Firstly, I wanted to say sorry. I should have given you something more than a goodbye note. Secondly, I wanted to say thank you. For your kindness, for helping me despite me being unforgivably rude." He takes my hand and my heart races at his touch. His brunette hair flutters in the light breeze. In this moment, I think he is quite possibly the most beautiful man I have ever laid my eyes on. "My mother is well again, thanks to you. My father wishes to reward you for saving her life and I wish as much myself. He is willing to give you anything you desire."

I look away from him, glancing at the villagers who are watching and they quickly look away, pretending as if they weren't staring at us. "I didn't do it for a reward, my lord. A thank you is all I could ever want." He squeezes my hand gently and leans his forehead against mine. "What are you doing? People are staring." My heart races and I'm sure that anyone within a five mile radius can hear it.

"Let them." He whispers, his hot breath fanning across my face. A prince needn't be so close to a commoner, it's forbidden but he doesn't seem to care. "If you will not accept a material reward, then perhaps I should kiss you again." He grins cheekily at me. I'm pretty sure the bashful look on my face says everything he needs to know. He closes the gap between us and kisses me. It's just as sweet as before, but this time he lingers for longer. I can hear his heart racing in time with mine and at that moment I think that perhaps we're equals, or at least in part. He pulls away slowly, his face remaining close to mine. I can hear whispers all around us, but I don't care so much anymore. "I know you think you're not good enough for me, but you are wrong. It is me who isn't good enough for you. You are a far better person than I could ever be." I look up at him, his words leaving me breathless.

"Will I ever see you again?" I whisper, full of hope.

#ateez #fanfiction #daybreakxchallenge #angst #fluff #historical au #royalty au #ale i know youre not a big fan of historical aus but shshfbjf #i go feral for em #idk what this is im sorry #i left it a secret who the member is cause i have no idea who he is either

[what-even-is-thiss]

I wrote a creative essay about my least favorite aunt. Yeet.

Read it if you’d like. I’m just happy to finally get the damage she caused me mostly dealt with to the point where I feel comfortable writing about it.

Language Barrier

Whenever I speak in German my expressions and hand gestures suddenly become ridiculously animated, like I’m trying to make up for my lack of vocabulary with a sign language that hasn’t been invented yet. One that only I know the meaning of. I flap my hands around like a maniac and point to things I don’t know the words for and make broken sentences that sound like a caveman made them as I misgender inanimate objects left and right.

Das. Das. That. That. This. This.

I can physically feel my brain rewiring itself. I speak like fool. Wrong order spoken are words. Sometimes anxiety make cry me. Social kind.

However, I speak much more German than my uncle’s mother and stepfather speak of English so I’m forced to use what I can and hope they can understand my thick American accent as we stay with them in Southern Germany. Everyone keeps trying to reassure me that my German is very good, but I can’t stop out of order speaking.

Kann ich habe Brot mehr bitte? Can I having bread more please?

I want to crawl into a hole and die.

My grandmother warned me that a person can grow tired of the amount of bread that Germans eat and according to that Bible thing that we both read man cannot live by bread alone. I’m starting to understand both of those things, eating bread and jam for breakfast yet again because I don’t like butter with marmalade and there’s no cheese left.

The weather, unlike my breakfast or Deutsche Grammatik, is perfect. Slightly cold, sunny and overcast at the same time. The neighborhood that my uncle’s parents live in is beautiful, suburban, on the edge of Schwartzwald, known in English as the Black Forest. I can’t remember the name of the town but I do know that we tried to get a brewery tour and my aunt, her twins, and I waited in the van as my uncle talked loudly at somebody in a local dialect until he got out of them that they don’t do tours anymore.

We went to a rope climbing course instead. My uncle, tall and skinny, balding, fit, took the twins, boy and girl, skinny like their dad, not taking after their mother, my mother’s sister, and went rope climbing in Schwartzwald.

I’m stuck talking with my aunt as we stand below the ropes course and I’m tired of speaking in German so we both take time to find comfort in each other’s distinctly Californian manner of speaking.

My aunt is a character. That’s a polite way to describe her if you don’t want to speak ill of someone that’s not in the room. She wears no makeup except for when she’s getting her picture taken or going somewhere important and she always looks stressed and tired with her eyes just a little too wide open. She’s maybe four inches shorter than me but she has the ability to make me feel like I only come up to her waist. In my mind she’s always wearing a knee length beige skirt and a green t-shirt even though she owns other articles of clothing than that, including more than 20 pairs of shoes. Her eyes are wide and her hands move in an animated fashion even when she speaks English. When she speaks German she becomes an exaggerated version of herself, perhaps to make up for her thick American accent and occasionally sketchy grammar. She has lived in Switzerland since the 90s and spoken German since the 80s. I once asked her how to tell what a noun’s grammatical gender is. She told me that she had no idea.

I didn’t know my mother for very long before she died but my grandmother tells me that when my mom was young, to describe her sister, she quoted a poem by Henry Wadsworth Longfellow. The one about the little girl with the little curl who when she was good she was very good and when she was bad she was horrid.

My aunt’s hair is straight, but other than that the poem describes her very well. Today would be a day she was horrid.

I don’t claim to be a perfect human being. I can be a bitch sometimes just like anybody else. The thing is though, my aunt never let me know when I was doing something bitchy like a normal person would. Instead she let me keep on doing it until she was ready to explode. And then she exploded.

Or, no. Not exactly being bitchy. Just doing something that she didn’t understand or like. She’s a very animated person and her voice goes like

And

Up.

Down.

All the time.

She’s very expressive. I, on the other hand, am not that excitable. I smile, yes, I cry, yes, but I try to be stoic. I like being stoic. It feels natural. I don’t want to express to everyone around me every time I am excited or upset. In my opinion it’s none of their business. I also tend to express gratitude through actions and gift giving rather than hurting my face and voice smiling and screaming all of the time.

I had thought bringing gifts from America, delivering onto my aunt’s family the ever elusive box of grits and Bakersfield candy and trinkets from Disneyland Anaheim would show gratitude. I was under the impression that helping to cook dinner, pack the van, refill the ice trays, take care of the twins, carry the groceries, clean the house, would show how much I loved her. I learned though, in a firestorm under the canopy of dark trees and children riding on zip lines that our love languages didn’t translate properly and she thought that my lack of expressiveness meant that I hated her. She was hysterical about it. I then expressed myself by changing into a lovely shade of red and producing saltwater from my eyes.

Climbing hills is a thing you get used to when you spend time in Central Europe. Walking for three or four kilometers isn’t such a feat in a valley, where the ground is flat and rarely changes, but in hilly terrain you quickly learn just how long that distance is and how much walking can hurt. Locals take no pity on you because they expect that everyone has those muscles built up in their legs when you’ve never had to use your legs like that for long stretches of time before.

Navigating emotion and expectations at home is easy. There is one language being spoken and everyone uses it to tell each other what’s wrong. When staying with my aunt for long periods of time, however, you start to understand emotional exhaustion. Something that would take half a minute to communicate takes up ten minutes of screaming because she expected you to know everything. A flat crowded city turns into a hilly countryside with no help for miles. You quickly learn how to swear in German because she pushes her husband to screaming as well.

Scheiße.

Eventually my uncle finished with the ropes course and pulled me away from her. He gently explained to me in English what we were going to be doing for the next few days. I stopped leaking water from my eyes and tried to remember what had prompted her to start yelling at me but I couldn’t figure it out. Another talent she has. Distracting you from linear events.

While I was in Germany there was a terrorist attack in Münich. Brexit was fresh in everyone’s minds. My first presidential election would be happening in November. I only understood about half of what was said on the news. My little cousins and their dad took turns translating for me. I had the feeling that I still wasn’t getting the whole story.

My aunt and uncle have twins. Test Tube Babies. The girl is the older twin but strangely enough doesn’t hold it over her brother’s head, which would fit perfectly with her personality. The boy takes after his mother in some respects, namely her loud voice.

When we went to Prague we stayed in a campground because that’s a lot cheaper than a hotel and that family affords a second house because they’re stingy. Almost every morning it was a struggle to get the boy out of bed. He and his sister were almost ten and he screamed and refused to move. He cried. He was loud. No amount of discipline worked. His sister stood around quietly going about her business, as did I. We did the same thing when her parents got into screaming matches.

Prague is an old city. A busy city. I loved it, even with all of the pay toilets and Czech bluntness. Even when an angry Czech lady smoking a cigarette yelled at me in broken English for not knowing that I had to pay for the restroom. The old castles and cathedrals and statues and just the right amount of dirtiness in the subway more than made up for it.

My aunt payed for me to go look at a museum that she didn’t want to look at. She told me to take all the time I wanted as the rest of the family waited outside. I didn’t sense any passive aggressiveness that time, so I did. It was a complex that was part of the Prague art museum, a system spread out around the city. The section I walked through by myself was a collection of medieval Roman Catholic art. Stained glass windows, paintings, tapestries. I’m a Lutheran that lives with atheists, so my experience with Catholic art is mostly non existent. Atheists don’t have religious figures to draw and Lutherans are extremely stingy with their images, worried about crossing into the realm of idolatry.

One thing I noticed was that Mary appeared everywhere, even in stories I thought she didn’t belong. In some images she stood equal with Jesus, reminding me of a female God. She seemed mature, different from the outcasted teenage mother I had told children about in Sunday School classes. Different from the refugee that had been painted for me in sermons. I wondered what kind of mother this Mary was. I wondered what her Hebrew sounded like. Or, maybe this Mary spoke Czech and the Mary in Germany spoke German and the Mary in the Vatican spoke Latin and the Mary my Catholic friends at home looked to spoke Spanish. Maybe if I prayed to Mary she would speak English. Maybe she would turn out to speak German and would look down at the frantic dancing of my hands, trying to find meaning in it.

But I don’t pray to Mary, and neither do my aunt or uncle. I report to them what I saw and my observations about Mary. Namely that she seems to be everywhere. My aunt doesn’t quite pick up on the fact that I simply find it interesting and takes it as an invitation to rant about Catholics. I squint at her as we walk back to the subway. I’m trying to figure out if I’d somehow been speaking another language. She certainly seems to be. Maybe it’s a generational gap. Maybe it’s just her, but I try to turn the conversation back to a tone of tolerance rather than complaint. A battle I quickly lose.

Later, in a public park in that busy city, my aunt yelled at me and cried because I had been calling her by her first name rather than Aunt. I nearly start leaking again. I shake. I think she’s speaking English but I don’t understand it. I physically step away from her as she accuses me of not seeing her as family. At the bottom of the hill we’re standing on a dog plays fetch with his owner. Neither of them take notice of the screaming middle aged American woman throwing accusations her deceased sister’s child as her own children zone out and wait for it to be over. No help comes. Nobody translates for me and Google Translate doesn’t have a setting for this.

Twenty minutes later she jokes with me as we find a rare but welcome burrito shop. I buy a mango soda imported from Mexico and it softens my homesickness. We eat on the steps of a light rail station. I laugh. The twins laugh and bounce around, talking to each other in a mixture of English, Swiss-German, and high German. The boy takes a bite out of my burrito and thinks the fact I can eat something that spicy makes me the coolest person in the world. My aunt laughs with me. We make plans for when we go to Southern Germany and visit her husband's parents. That’s where his dentist is. He needs a bit of work done. We’ll have fun, she promises. We had a good time in Prague. I put the bad times in a shoebox for later and then agree with her.

After she yells at me in Schwartzwald for not showing emotion I go quiet. I put more things in the shoebox I’ve made in my mind to deal with later. I learn that all of them have been eavesdropping on the phone calls I’ve been making to my dad and friends back home. My aunt approaches me about how I complained about the yelling. I’m suddenly paranoid and wonder if she read some of the postcards I sent out. I watch my words now and put the ones that might set off her fuse in the box. The little house outside of Zurich has started to feel like home when I return to it and I’m slightly disgusted at that realization. The flowers all make my eyes water and I’m not given nearly enough allergy pills. I still don’t understand what language she’s speaking. Her words are in English or German, as are mine, but we still don’t understand each other.

Currants, especially the red ones, are beautiful fruit. Not easy to find in stores, even in Europe, so you’ve gotta pick them yourself. My aunt and uncle have a small city of currant bushes living in their backyard that hugs the bank of the stream that runs through the neighborhood. They’re beautiful and inviting, asking you to eat them please, but when you do your face scrunches up at the tartness. I never did care for sour tastes, so I found my own way to make the currants sweet by baking them into scones. At first my aunt was sceptical of my scones but after some reassurance from her kids that they didn’t taste like cinnamon she tried them and agreed that I did a good job. They were sweet and went really well with milk or tea. We all enjoyed them very much. Nobody had to translate anything.

Every member of that family gives excellent hugs when you can get them. They share drinks and food with each other, a concept that shocked me at first, but I quickly fell into the rhythm of it with them. They bought me my first beer and took me to Worms, Germany. I loved that place. I got to see one of the first print versions of Luther’s German translation of the bible. I ate pastries and tea with them at an outdoor cafe. It was cold and wet in the middle of the summer and the cobblestones made it even gloomier. The moving feet on the sidewalk seemed to have a language of its own and the new architecture standing by the old had no words to be translated but told a story nonetheless.

My experience in Europe was like Europe itself. Americans expect it to be shiny and beautiful, and it is, but you also have to pay to use the restroom which leads people to piss in the street. You will also find cigarette machines on almost every corner. There is one right outside my aunt and uncle’s second house. The packages of cigarettes have pictures of black lungs and diseased gums on them. The people smoke anyways. Europeans are people. They have drama, they worry about money, they cry, they abuse, they kick, they scream, they love. All the problems you had in America won’t disappear over there, and in fact you might find some new problems you didn’t expect. Like not finding salsa or not knowing how to deal with carnival rides that have no line and are boarded like a much more violent version of musical chairs. And don’t expect to practice your target language there either. The people will hear your accent and excitedly try and use you to practice English. And even if you do speak the language, don’t expect to understand with everyone. Hand gestures can only go so far.

When I got home I left the German language behind me for the most part. I also slowly cut off most contact with my aunt’s family. Six weeks spent putting things in a shoebox and not speaking whatever language my aunt was speaking with English and German words was enough for me. By the time I opened my shoebox a few months later it was rotten, smelly, and leaking. It took over a year to clean it out and it’s still warped and stained, containing whispers of my own desperate language that would never penetrate my aunt’s skull or jump over the barrier we had built together.

My rotten shoebox is revolting to look at, and while I was cleaning it parts of the mess got onto the happy memories but thankfully they’re still there. The cathedrals, the warm hugs, the new foods, and comforting rain are all there. Late nights and early mornings, potato pancakes and beer, museums and trees and the times I could honestly say; Ja, ich bin glücklich. Yes, I am happy. And thankfully that sentence is easy to translate.

#roman wrote a thing #religion mention #roman said a thing

[negan-jdm-winchester]

Negan’s Savior Chapter 2

Description: Negan x Reader where the reader comes to Negan’s rescue in more ways than one. 

Chapter Description: Negan gets the reader settled in. Reader learns about Negan’s wives. Simon plays a part in this chapter, too! (Part 2/?) Part 1 Here A/N: Sorry this took so long to get out to you guys! I really struggled to write for a couple of days, but I’m back! This also turned out to be WAY longer than I had planned, so I apologize! It’s just to get things set and going for the rest of the story. And as always...feedback is appreciated! Enjoy! 

When you woke up, you could have sworn you were dead. You were enveloped in the most warm, soft fabric,sinking into the cushion under you. You were suddenly aware of the ache in your head. You groaned softly, finally opening your eyes. You sat up quickly, only furthering the ache in your head, when you realized you were in a huge bedroom. A voice spoke from the other side of the room.

“Well, shit, doll. You scared the living fuck out of me,” you jumped, looking over to see Negan. He was dressed in a similar outfit to earlier, but this time, it was dry. You suddenly looked down at yourself, realizing you were in sweatpants and a sweatshirt. You reddened, figuring somebody had to dress you. He smirked. “Don’t worry, the nurse dressed ya. But I’ll be damned if I didn’t try to volunteer for that job.” You looked up, a shy smile adorning your lips. 

“Thank you,” you said, standing up.

“What the fuck for?” he asked, chuckling. You simply shrugged.

“Saving me,” you said, tucking your hair behind your ear. He smirked.

“Well, I couldn’t just let ya drown after ya pushed me out of the way of that walker, now, could I,” he said, moving to you. You simply shrugged, giving him that same sheepish smile. You looked up at him, noticing how tall he was. Your head barely reached his shoulder. “Come on,” he spoke up, “M’gonna show ya around the place.”

You followed him down a long hallway and down some stairs. You walked into a place that looked like a huge thrift shop. He grinned down at you as you noticed everyone starting to kneel. You looked confused, looking up at him. He grinned down at you and then spoke loudly. “As you were!” Everyone stood up and returned to what they were previously doing.

 “As you can see, dollface, I’m in charge around here. Go look around. Pick out some clothes and shit. Whatever your fuckin’ heart desires, it’s on me. These other fuckers around here gotta work for points to get their shit. But not you. You are the fuckin’ guest of honor.” 

Your cheeks turned red, and you honestly felt bad about taking things that other people were working hard for. But it didn’t seem like anyone was going to argue with Negan. You grabbed about three outfits worth of stuff and came over to where Negan was standing. 

“That’s it?” He looked down at you, eyebrow raised. You nodded, having taken enough to give you clean things to wear but also not enough to take away from the other people here. He chuckled, leaning back a bit before walking off, beckoning you with his long fingers to follow, which you hastily did. He led you to a door not far from where you woke up this morning. Your eyes widened when you saw what was inside. 

“This’ll be your room, doll,” he said, grinning down at you. 

“This...this is for me?” You asked, looking around. He gently ushered you inside, as you took in the sight before you. A wooden four poster bed was settled between two large windows and was set up similarly to the room you had been in before. You took notice of the clothes that were hanging up in the closet and there was some fabric sticking out of the drawers in the dresser, as well.

“Negan...you didn’t have to do all this for me,” you started, but he was quick to cut you off.

“Bullshit. I told ya. You’re the fuckin’ guest of honor, dollface.” You chuckled softly and he smirked. “Now get settled in and I’ll be back in a few to come get you.”

“For what?”

“Dinner, of course,” he said, flashing the most charming grin at you, his dimples showing. “It’s the least I can do for something as pretty as you.” With that, he walked off, leaving you to your new room. You would be lying if you said that Negan didn’t give you butterflies. There was something about him, though, that you just couldn’t put your finger on.

You went and took a shower, and man did it feel good. You couldn’t remember the last time you had warm water. You got clean and shaved and dried off, putting on a pair of dark jeans, a shirt that came just a little bit off of your shoulders, and some boots. Negan had conveniently stocked the dresser and closet full of clothes that were just your size. You fixed your hair and tried to look as decent as you could before a knock came from the other side of your door. You grinned and opened it, but found that it was one of Negan’s men instead of him. You felt just the slightest pang of disappointment. 

“I came to give you a message from Negan. He’s had to go take care of some problems that came up, and said he would have to reschedule dinner.” Okay, now it was just full on disappointment. You gave him a small smile.

“That’s alright. Thank you....” you trailed off, unsure of what his name was.

“Dwight.”

“Thank you, Dwight.” You looked at him, noticing the scar on his face. You didn’t really want to know what that was all about. “Is it okay if I walk around? I’m not really sure what the rules are around here...”

“Just don’t be stupid. And don’t go past the gates.” 

He didn’t give you a chance to respond before he walked off. You frowned a little, but you couldn’t really blame him, or anyone. The circumstances of living these days wasn’t exactly something to be desired. You walked out of the room and decided to go to the food line that Negan showed you before. You were hungry, and since Negan cancelled dinner, you assumed getting dinner was on you. 

You got your food and sat down. Apparently Negan had told the workers that you didn’t need points because they didn’t give you any trouble. You sat alone, eating quietly. Someone walked up to the table and you looked up to see Simon standing there.

“Hello, y/n. Getting into the swing of things here, I see.” You nodded, offering for him to sit down.

“I am, thank you. Everyone here has been very kind to me.” 

“Yes, well, Negan made sure that everyone knew to welcome you,” he said, eating a bit of his own food. 

The two of you talked about this and that, and you asked him some questions about what you now knew to be called the Sanctuary. You knew about the Saviors and Alexandria and Hilltop. It seemed that everyone feared Negan. You found yourself starting to wonder if you should be afraid of him, too. After all...he was quite charming, but so was Ted Bundy. Simon must have caught on to your thoughts.He opened his mouth to comment when a woman wearing a tight fitting black dress walked up. 

“Simon, honestly. Do you not answer that damn walkie talkie anymore? Or is it just when I call?” You noticed the frown settling onto Simon’s face as he turned around.

“Sherry. Can I help you?”

“Yes. Where is Negan. It’s supposed to be my night and he’s late for dinner.”

Your eyebrows furrowed as you looked up at her at the comment, considering Negan had clearly told you he was going to have dinner with you earlier. You eyed her, noticing her freshly done make up and hair. How anybody managed to find make up in this world was beyond you. She did look gorgeous, though...

“He had to go on a run. I’ll let him know you were looking for him.”

Sherry huffed and walked off after pretty much demanding Simon to make sure dinner was sent up for her anyway. He shook his head and turned back to you.

“Who was that?” you asked, eyes trailing after her.

“Sherry. One of Negan’s wives.” 

Your entire face fell, and Simon caught it. 

“Wife?...one of...?” He pursed his lips. 

“I assumed Negan would have told you, dear. He has six wives.” 

You felt odd. You knew you shouldn’t be this disappointed, considering you hardly knew the man. But he had asked you to dinner...given you a room...charmed the living fuck out of you...

“Um...I...I think i’m going to go to bed now,” you said, excusing yourself quickly as you retreated back to your room. You locked the door and suddenly realized that your cheeks were wet. You were crying over this? Seriously? 

Well, shit. You were screwed. 

Tag List: @neganbaby @neganscherryblue

#negan x reader #negan #negan twd #negan-jdm-winchester #negan's savior #simon x reader #sherry x reader #negan twd x reader #twd x reader #the walking dead #the walking dead fanfiction #the walking dead x reader

[a-lil-bitch-named-breakfast]

could you write something (i don't really care what form) where lotor is sick and Allura takes care of him?

Lotura- “I’m not sick.”

[here ya go my lovely anon!! ❤️❤️]

It all started with a sneeze. Reasonably unnoticeable. Maybe just dust.

“Bless you...” Allura murmured as she’s typed mindlessly upon her hologram screen, not even thinking much of it.

“Strange term...” Lotor sniffled, looking up and wiping his nose. He did sound fairly nasily, but again. Not worth concern yet. The violet skinned man was a powerful galra. There was no need to worry over a small sneeze. That would merely be insulting to him...

“What’s a strange term?” Allura murmured.

“Bless you...” Lotor replied.

“Why would you bless me at a time like this?”

Suddenly Allura chuckled.

“Ah i see.” She turned to face him, taking her attention away from key pad for a mere moment.

“It’s an earth term you see! They say it when one sneezes! Quiznack i can’t believe i even said such a silly thing! I suppose I’ve merely picked up on it having heard it so many- ERR?” She literally squeaked upon her crystal blue eyes finally gazing upon his face.

To put it to simplest terms, not sugar coating anything. He looked HORRID. Bags under his eyes, violet skin much paler than usual, his nose slightly red from strenuous rubbing. She stuttered slightly as he coughed.

“What....?” He murmured, wiping his nose once again on his sleeve.

“You look as if you’ve seen a collapsing planet....”

“Somewhere near that...” Allura muttered under her breath, averting she contact. Lotor raised a brow.

“What was that?”

“Nothing...” she murmured.

“Lotor... dearest...” she stepped forewords slowly, reaching one gloved hand up to caress his cheek. It was hot to the touch.

“Have you slept... recently... at all?”

Lotor raised a brow.

“Of course.” He muttered softly.

“What would make you think otherwise...?”

Allura sighed.

“Are you... feeling ill?” With that statement Lotor seemed to realize what she meant and yanked away from her touch quickly, spinning back around to sharply face his board and continue working.

“I am feeling wonderful love!” He said quickly, clearly trying to fake a more upbeat tone.

“Better than ever! As the paladins would say- peachy!”

Allura narrowed her eyes. She could tell what he was doing. Galra had a significant hatred against weakness. And in their eyes being sick was weakness. Lotor may have been trying to embrace his Altean heritage. But he was raised Galra. That was how it was.

“Lotor...” Allura said softly.

“Love...”

“i am wonderful Allura.” He turned quickly and pecked her forehead.

“No need to worry about me.” And he went back to working. Nothing else said on the matter. But this wouldn’t be the last of it oh no.

Later that afternoon she walked past the room he was giving orders in, hoping to be able to hear the silky melodious tone of her lovers deep commanding voice, even for a second. Instead she was greeted with what sounded like a dying yelmore. Like somebody had taken sand paper to her poor Lotor’s through. She paused outside the door and literally walked back a few steps so she could peer inside.

Lotor could barely speak and was going into a fit of coughing hysterics that would repeatedly stop him from being able to give orders. The Galra on screen seemed to be quite concerned and confused about their emperors state.

Allura figured she should take matters into her own hands... sneakily.

So she walked into the room, dusting off the pink of her paladin suit.

“Lotor my dearest.” She stroked his hair.

“The paladins need you in the meeting room to discuss a plan immediately. There can be no waiting! I’ve already been informed of what’s going on but they need to run it by you of course.”

“But- bu-“ Lotor gruffly stuttered, pointed ears drooping as he pointed at the screen.

Allura gave a warm smile.

“I can handle it My emperor.. jusy scoot along.” She hummed. Lotor seemed to pause for a second, thinking, then nodded and quickly moved off looking slightly dizzy and even stumbling in the doorway as he left. Allura finished giving out orders, but let’s just say her concern had significantly grown.

The last straw of course had to come eventually, and it did when she walked past the ship bathrooms to hear a string of horrible... awful coughing and gagging. She stopped for a moment, about to continue walking when she heard a groan that greatly reminded her of-

“Lotor-“ She turned around quickly and pushed open the door to find her poor Galran lover hunched over a toilet, holding his stomach as he threw up the last remains of his dinner.

“Lotor!” She rushed over quickly to brush a strand of his white hair away from his forehead. Lotor seemed to pull away in shock and embarrassment.

“A-Allura.”

“My love you should have told me you were feeling this ill!”

“But i am not.” He tried to reason dizzily once again. Allura shook her head.

“Quiznack.” She spat.

“Don’t tank my Wimble like that you idiot.” She knelt down next to him, brushing the strands of hair sticking to his sweaty face away.

“No more working. You’re sick.”

“I am not sick.”

“Yes Lotor. Yes you are.”

After about thirty minutes of protesting she managed to get him into a bed. Kissing his forehead she murmured.

“You stay here... I’ll go and get you something else to eat-“ But by the time she was to the doorway, he was passed out from exhaustion. She stared for a moment before smiling in pity at the poor galran emporor.

Walking over she sat down next to the bed, kissing his temple and softly stroking his hair.

“My sweet... don’t you know you can tell me anything...”

Lotor slowly opened one eye.

“Anything..?” He mumbled. She nodded softly. He then breathed out.

“Then i shall tell you... i would appreciate it if you spent the night with me... and pet my hair some more.”

Allura chuckled softly.

“Of course dearest.”

#lotura #lotor #allura #voltron #headcanons #scenarios #requests #vld #voltron legendary defender

[raecorn]

A/N: I am not too sure if you wanted a headshot or a reaction so I did a small reaction! We also had slightly different childhoods due to our possible age different or country difference so if I reference something and you don't know what it is then I am sorry! I hope you enjoy it! Some of these moments are a little younger than five years old so I hope you didn’t want a specific age anyways enjoy! (I was listening to Disney music playlist just to write this haha) 

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Izuku Midoryia:  

The loud thunderstorm rumbled as the harsh rain pounded the earth. The villain was sharply attacking from left and right. Deku looks back to see your next move but your next move was certainly unexpected. There was no longer a y/n around, instead there was a younger child that looked like y/n. The villain was confused as well but smirked at this new opportunity. Sweeping Deku off his feet the villain reaches to grab you. You scream and bite the villain's hand. He hisses and flings his hand around to smack you when a punch flies him across the street. Deku screams as he takes down the villain, alerting any hero around. Eventually, more classmates arrive and help take down the villain.  As for you, you didn't want to leave Izuku but you were frightened. Hiding behind a tree you softly cried. Izuku notices that you were missing. 

"Y/N? Where are you? It's safe dar- y/n!" his voice makes your tears stop pouring. You peer around the tree and see him with a worried look. Running over you cling to him with a soft smile. 

“Izu can we go to your house! I want to watch a movie!" You happily cheer and blink at him. His face reddens a bit as he nods. 

"Ah yes y/n, but do you know how long you will be uh like this?" you giggle and grab onto his hand, not really processing what he has said.

Skipping towards his home you swing his hand back and forth. He chuckles and ruffles your hair. Arriving at the house you two take off shoes and run around his living room. You have never been in his house before but you already loved it. Izuku's mother comes and sees you running around.

"Izuku- uh who's this sweetie?" He nervously looks around, he was clearly worried about you. He indeed liked you but what if you stayed a child forever? What if you had to grow up again? How would you get home and explain to your parents? Would he ever have the same conversations with you again? 

"I am just babysitting for the night- y/- I mean this kiddo will stay here tonight, is that okay?" His mom hesitantly nods as she stares at you. 

"Kind of looks like that one cutie- y/n." His mom finishes up dinner and tells you two to come eat.  You run to the table and thank her for the meal. You eat happily as Izuku looks at you the whole time. 

"Yes???" you cutely ask him, he shakes his head and continues eating. After your meal he cleans up as you pick out a movie for you two to watch.  After picking the movie Mulan you rush Izuku to sit down. He chuckles and brings a blanket up for you. Throughout the movie you start to doze off. Leaning against Izuku your eyes begin to stay shut. 

"Izu, one day can we get married?" He chokes on air and looks down at you, you were now asleep. He awkwardly chuckles and wraps you in a blanket as the soft rain gently pours down. 

"We will talk about it when you are older y/n" with a small smile he falls asleep protectively beside you.

Katsuki Bakugou:

Was it something you ate? Was it something you drunk? You look down at your little feet and around the large bedroom. You didn't realize how large your room was. Getting out of bed you notice how much smaller you were. Giggling softly you jump around with a small pitter patter. Walking out of your bedroom you noticed it was a weekend. Your house was always empty on the weekend. You huff and walk towards the living room. Noticing a small phone on the table you grab the phone. Looking at it you hit your best friends number. 

"Kat kat- hehe kat! Guess what?! I am er- 5 YEARS OLD! I want to go to the park please!!!" you squeal with happiness when you hear his voice.

"Y/N stop messing with me dammit- wait, why do you sound young? Shit- are you really 5 years old? Fuck I should stop swearing- dammit I did it again. Anyways just stay there- and if you are messing with me I will never talk to you again." He groans and hangs up the phone. You giggle at his words and mutter 'fuck' once or twice. Deciding to get dressed you march towards your room. Opening the closet all the clothes were way too big. with a pout you put on a shirt that could look like a dress, even though you didn't want to wear one it was the only thing you had. With a knock at the door you rush down the hall. Opening it was a tall blonde boy staring down at you. 

"Jesus y/n-" 

"Park!!!!" you push past him and grab your shoes. 

"Wait no- we need to figure this out- could you always do this?" You grab his hand and start walking, completely ignoring his question. Scoffing in defeat Bakugou ignores that he was ignored and follows you to the park. 

"Well as you play I will figure something out since we know I'm the brains in this friendship-" 

"HEY!" you screamed and pointed to your head.

"I have brains too! OOH SWINGS! Bakugou push meee!" rushing towards the swings you slowly get on and wiggle your feet. He rolls his eyes and stares at you but then finally decides to help you. Pushing you slowly he chuckles at your squeals. 

"Bakuuu I want icecream stop pushing meeee" you throw your feet to help stop yourself. With a tsk he helps you down and looks for an icecream stand.

"Fine but after this icecream we are going to figure out what happen to you alright?" You nod happily and skip towards a cart with balloons. Bakugou sighs and follows you to the cart. 

"What icecream do you want y/n?" staring in awe at all the icecream you look at every single one five different times. 

"Chocolate- no mint- no strawberry- no- chocolate- yes chocolate" Bakugou laughs and buys two chocolate cones. Grabbing yours from him you begin licking your icecream when a new voice perked your interest. 

"You are so cute with your sibling! Maybe we can go on a playdate?" You look over at a girl staring at Bakugou with heart eyes. You pout and give her the stink eye. 

"Excuse me lady but he and I are going to get married, he's my husband go find somebody else!" you glaring at her caused Bakugou to die right then and there. His laughter echoes in your ears as he looks down at you. 

"You are too young for my liking-" you scoff and grab his shirt marching away from the park wanting to find out what happened to you.

Eijiro Kirishima: 

It happened in a class and you couldn't tell what even happened but there you are, feet hanging down you in a huge chair. Looking around you notice how tall everyone was. Looking to your right you tap your friend's shoulder, Bakugou. Bakugou jumps and looks at you with a frightful look. Him jumping caused Izuku to look and scream out of shock. In a matter of seconds, everyone is staring at you- including Aizawa. You shyly giggle and look down at your desk. Aizawa walks up to your desk and eyes you- his quirk wasn't working. 

"Y/n- is that you?" he asks which causes you to nod slowly. He sighs and looks back at the class. 

"Well someone is taking care of y/n today, who is it?" no one moved but a screech comes from the back. You look up and see a familiar red-hair boy raise his hand. Aizawa nods, excusing you and Kirishima out of the room. You blush slightly when you look at the boy beside you. 

"What do you want to do today? We can go to the park or we can go watch a movie-" you shake your head and hold onto his pants leg. 

"Can we color...?" he looks down at you and smiles widely. 

"That's not very manly but yes we can color" he smiles in support with you and walks to the store with you beside him. Eyeing the aisles he looks for coloring books or crayons but he couldn't find a single one. 

"Y/n how about we paint instead?" you agree and put paint in the basket.  Walking towards checkout you see a pizza car go by. In excitement, you pull on Kirishima's pant leg. He pays for the paint and looks to where you are pointing. 

"You hungry? You are going to make me broke but fine we can get pizza." he shakes his head in content and walks you over to the place. Sitting in a booth you order a small pizza for yourself as he orders one of the largest. Waiting for the pizza to arrive you begin making jokes. 

"Knock knock-"

"Who's there?" 

"Chicken butt!" you start off giggling softly but with the more disappointment in his face grew so did the volume of your laughter. Your face is red due to all the laughing you have been doing. 

"Okay this time- knock knock" he sighs and looks at you with a soft smile. 

"Who's there?"

"CHICKEN BUTT!" you laugh harder than before as he starts to laugh himself. The waiter comes around with your food and sits it down in front of you. Saying goodbye you say thanks for the food and begin eating. Eating the pizza was amazing but the mess was all over the place. The sauce was all over your cheeks. Kirishima leans over with a napkin and wipes off the sauce.

"Eji can we get married? You laugh at my jokes and give me pizza!" He almost chokes on pizza but looks at you with a bright smile on his face. 

"We can get married later, right now let's enjoy pizza okay?" hoping you can return back to his age he would love to marry you one day in the future.

|Masterlist|

#Izuku Midoriya #katsuki bakugou #eijiro kirishima #bnha imagines #bnha scenarios #my hero academia #my hero academia imagines #my hero academia scenarios

[thehudsonator]

ALL YOU HAD TO DO WAS STAY || HUDROSE

TAGGING: @acupmarley @thehudsonator

DATE:  Tuesday.  Aug 14th, evening.  

PLACE:  218 E 13TH ST.East Village, Manhattan.  (Fiona & Puck’s apartment)

NOTES: In a misguided attempt to keep from holding Marley back, Fiona decides to set her free.  

  FIONA HUDSON

"I just wanted you to know that you have my utmost gratitude for... I don't know, letting me go?” Fiona wasn’t one for obsessively rereading text conversations, so why was this one pricking at the back of her mind since the moment she received it? She knew what she was doing that Summer when she insisted Rory continue her world adventure instead of staying in New York. So, those words should have given her some peace of mind that she made the right decision. Instead it just made Fiona intensely aware that it was taking herself out of the equation that caused Rory to really find what she was looking for. She was too polite to say that Fiona would have held her back, but Fiona could call it like it is. Those feelings of worry carried on as she reflected on her own relationship with Marley. Fiona loves Marley, if you were to ask Fiona to picture her life in ten years, the wistful smile on her face would have Marley written all of it. But what if it was only a matter of time before Fiona would hold Marley back too? What if those business cards she’d gotten from those representatives at her showcase were her passport and tickets to an exciting new life? What if Fiona couldn’t keep up? Marley is twenty two and on the edge of the exciting first steps of her career. Meanwhile Fiona is inching towards thirty, and feels she has sturdy roots. New York is her big adventure, and Marley is still discovering hers. There would inevitably become a point where what Fiona has to offer just simply won’t be enough. As far as she was concerned hat just seemed like simple math.Fiona choked down the last of those thoughts as she heard the apartment door click open, and she wiped the welling tears from her eyes. Selfishly she hoped it was Puck, if it was Puck maybe she could maybe ignore this for another day. Except luck wasn’t on her side as she saw Marley enter the living room, home from her shift at A Cup. “Hey,” she greeted the crack in her voice betraying the smile she was forcing. “Wanna come sit down?"

MARLEY ROSE

Marley was pretty sure she'd peaked. Like, if her life never got better than this, she'd be supremely okay with it. She had a wonderful, loving girlfriend, a good job, and her career was starting to take off. She had friends who loved her, a supportive network of women around her, and a family back home in Iowa that would stick by her through anything. When she'd moved to New York City four years ago, Marley could hardly believe that her life had become this incredible. Nor could she ever imagine being this happy-- from the girl who dealt with so many issues in high school to blossom this much? It was nothing short of miraculous. "Hi, honey!" Marley called, as she took off her backpack and hung it on a hook on the wall. She immediately bounded to the couch and sat herself on Fiona's lap, kissing her hello. Marley laced her fingers together at the back of Fiona's neck, holding her girlfriend close to her. Marley rested her forehead against Fiona's with a soft smile. "How was your day?"

FIONA HUDSON

Fiona allowed herself that brief moment of comfort as Marley placed her forehead against hers.  She even allowed herself the luxury of chasing her lips for a second kiss.  Fiona kept her eyes closed just committing this moment to memory.  This was good, this is what being love was all about, but when would this stop being enough?  At what point would Marley be the one to realize that she hitched her cart to somebody so unremarkable when she herself was meant for so much?  “Exhausting,” she sighed, she’d been too much in her own head to even enjoy her post birthday high.  “Just let me hold you for a minute, okay?”  Fiona pulled Marley close and rested her face in the crook of her neck, “I love you.  You know that right?”

MARLEY ROSE

“Too much party last night?” Marley asked, a smile making its way into her lips. She was glad that everything had gone off without a hitch, but she also knew that her life was going to be that much better with Fiona involved. “Want to take a shower and then go to bed early? I’ll do all the work, all you have to do is stand there,” she beamed, as she stroked Fiona’s hair in what she hoped was a comforting gesture. Marley’s heart absolutely melted as Fiona pulled her in close. “My love,” she whispered, wrapping her arms around Fiona to hold her in place. “Of course I do! I love you too, sugar plum. You’re my whole world, Fi.” She pressed a kiss to the top of Fiona’s head and smiled softly down at her. “The best part about today is that there’s leftover cake in the fridge, and I’m already making you a surprise for dinner.”

FIONA HUDSON

With every passing kind word and sweet gesture, Fiona just felt guilt settle deep in the pit of her stomach.  While Marley was at work planning a night of continued surprises, Fiona was at home stewing in her thoughts.  Fiona stayed fixated on the things Rory had told her about letting go, and the things she’d overheard the industry reps tell Marley about holding the keys to her future.  Much like Rory’s world adventure that she needed to leave Fiona to pursue, what if this was another bright future she’d just hold Marley back from?  “I think we gotta talk before dinner.”  Her voice came out scratchy all the emotion she’d be trying to push down settling in her throat.  “Marley— I love you,” Fiona started pulling away from the crook in her neck to face her.  She placed a gentle hand on Marley’s cheek.  “I love you enough to see you’re meant for something big.  You’re special.  God, Marley, you’re so special.”  Fiona let a beat of silence hang in the air as she tried to wrangle her own thoughts, “I think a day is going to come where I’m just going to start holding you back, and I can’t let that happen."

MARLEY ROSE

Marley’s smile flickered, but didn’t leave her sweet face. “I love you too,” she insisted, pulling herself closer on Fiona’s lap. “And I’m happy. Aren’t you happy?” She bit down on her lower lip, suddenly not liking the direction this conversation was going. “You’re the last person who would ever hold me back. You’ve been so supportive of me and my writing, I’ve got albums of songs about you— about us.” Marley pulled away from her for a moment, so that she could look Fiona in the eyes. “Where is this coming from, my love? Why are you saying all of this?”

FIONA HUDSON

“Oh sweetheart you make me so happy,” Fiona assured.  This wasn’t a matter of Fiona’s happiness and she needed that to be clear.  When Marley was asking where Fiona’s thoughts were coming from she didn’t want to place the blame on one thing entirely.  The showcase showed Fiona just how close Marley was to making her dreams come true, and her conversation with Rory showed that sometimes you need to let somebody go so they can really soar.  “My birthday, I guess,” she said dancing around the topic.  “I just woke up this morning and I realized... I realized you’re still blooming.  You’re just getting started, and I’m, Marley, I am all I’m ever going to be.  You don’t plant beautiful flowers,” she placed a hand over Marley’s heart.  “In mediocre gardens.  That’s just not how it works.”

MARLEY ROSE

There were a lot of things that Marley currently couldn't explain about the conversation they were having. For one, she felt like this was all coming out of nowhere. They'd spent her birthday together, happy, everything was fine, and now all of a sudden Fiona was saying some very untrue things about herself. "Stop that," Marley put a hand on Fiona's cheek, her brows knitted together in confusion and hurt. "You're not a mediocre garden, don't ever say something like that about yourself." Marley pressed a kiss to Fiona's lips, as if she could will this conversation away. "You're the best thing that's ever happened to me. You're my person. I love you, and I don't feel like I'm being held back in any way. You encourage me to pursue my dreams while still supporting me. You're patient with me, you're kind, you come to as many shows as you can. You listen to me write songs and you tell me when my rhymes are ridiculous. If I'm a beautiful flower, then you're my botanical garden. You're right where I belong."

FIONA HUDSON

More than anything Fiona wanted every lovely thing Marley was saying to wash away whatever insecurities she was feeling, but they were still there, eating at her.  Even with Marley’s lips so sweetly pressed against her own, the gnawing feeling that this was only temporary wouldn’t leave her alone.  “But for how long?” Fiona wondered sadly.  How long would this be where Marley belonged?  She knew she couldn’t peak into the future and see how her and Marley end up, but she did have past experience to compare to, and those experiences made it clear that to Fiona that she was a step along the way.  Rachel and Quinn found each other, and Rory found the world, and she would never fault any of them for chasing their own happiness, but facts were facts, right?  Fiona didn’t want to be a stepping stone for Marley, and she certainly didn’t want to be a tether keeping her from reaching her full potential.  “Marley, listen to me… You are going to take this entire world by storm one song at a time, and a day will come where being with me will just slow you down.  Maybe even hold you back, and I-I can’t.  I can’t do it, I love you too much.  I think I need to let you go.”

MARLEY ROSE

Maybe if Marley closed her eyes, this wasn’t happening. Maybe if she shut them tightly enough, she could go back in time to when she walked into the room, and prevent herself (and Fiona) from having this conversation. “For forever,” she insisted, as her face fell. Did this mean that Fiona had always thought of them as having an expiration date? Was she just waiting for the right time to let her go, as she was so keen on doing? The timing of it made no sense, and had marley not been so blindsided by this, she would have hopefully used enough logic to figure that out. They’d just moved in together, Marley had just met her parents, and all things considered, absolutely none of this made any sense to her. She didn’t know where it was coming from. For the present time being, all Marley could head was the fact that Fiona wanted to let her go. Her jaw went slack in shock as she realized just exactly where this conversation was going to go. “What?”

FIONA HUDSON

“Please don’t make me say it again,” Fiona plead.  It was hard enough the first time, and she didn’t know she had it in her to say it again.  If she weren’t so caught up in the events of the past week, that would have been a clear indicator that maybe her head wasn’t in the right place to be making these decisions.  Except when Fiona set her mind to something, for better or worse, it was hard to shake.  “One day you’ll thank me too.”

MARLEY ROSE

“I’ll thank you, too?” Marley half-cried, as her voice raised in anguish. She stood up from Fiona’s lap and covered her mouth with her hand, wrapping one arm around her body as if she were trying to hold herself together. And she was. “Thank you for what? Fiona, I don’t know where this is coming from. I have no idea. Who would thank you for leaving them?”

FIONA HUDSON

This was hard to do with Marley sitting in her lap, but the distance as she stood up was almost too much.  Fiona wanted to chase Marley’s hand with her own, but something told her she just lost that right.  Fiona couldn’t even look at Marley, the hurt etched onto her face caused her heart to ache.  Instead her eyes were fixated on the coffee table, maybe if she stared long enough the perfect string of words to describe her mindset would come to her.  Words were always Marley’s strong suit not Fiona’s, and unfortunately now when she needed them most, it was no different.   “I needed to let Rory go so she could explore the world, and Marley, you got seven business cards.  Seven people interested in your music.  Seven different keys to your future, your big adventure.  You’re meant for something bigger than me.  Don’t you see that?"

MARLEY ROSE

Rory. Marley sucked in a deep breath, pinching the bridge of her nose as she felt her eyes flood with tears. “Here’s what you don’t see.” Marley began, as she opened her blurry eyes to the fuzzy outline of Fiona. She blinked and the river of tears she’d been holding on rushed down her cheeks. “I’m not Rory. I’m not her. You letting me go might have been the best thing that’s ever happened to her, but it will be the worst thing that’s ever happened for me. I don’t want to travel the world alone, I want to travel it with you. My future isn’t something that will be changed by you being there. I want you there. I don’t want a future without you.” Her voice began to break and though it was futile, she wiped her eyes. “So look, let’s just forget that this happened. I’ll go get dinner ready and I’ll put the water on for your shower, and we will take care of this, and we’ll talk, and we’ll get through this together like we always do.”

FIONA HUDSON

Fiona wanted to follow Marley’s lead, more than anything she wanted to follow her into the bathroom, step into a hot shower, and step out with a clear head and an apology on her lips.  But, that would just be prolonging the inevitable wouldn’t it?  “Marley, I can’t forget it.  I’ve been trying to forget it.  God, I wish I could, but I’m right.  I know I am.”  With a clearer head maybe she would realize leading with her stubborn nature wasn’t the best compass, but in the moment it was all she had.  “I don’t know what else there is to talk about,” she replied sadly wiping the tears from her own eyes.  “I’m sure I can crash at Kate’s for a few days,” her voice cracked, that statement suddenly made their situation way too real, but she wasn’t about to kick Marley out of the apartment that had been her home for the past few weeks.

MARLEY ROSE

“No.” Marley shook her head, before she turned away from Fiona. “I’ll go. This is your apartment. It’s your home. I’m just someone who stupidly thought it was mine now, too.” She flinched as she let her internal anger take over, but she turned to face the love of her life with tears streaming down her cheeks. “I love you, Fiona, and I hope you’ll reconsider,” was all she could stammer out before the door shut softly behind her, and she was gone.

#//just ur friendly neighborhood demon to sadly remind you this wasn't a bad fever dream #ALMOST PUT FIONA & MARLEY & PUCKS APARTMENT BUT IT MADE ME TOO SAD BC YA KNOW #para: 016 #para: all

[timebuzzer]

Ever After Chapter 8.2

3rd Person

After their second round of pure bliss, Sage transferred Alex to their bedroom in all his grandeur. He knew she was tired so she did not disturb her sleep. But when she felt the comfort of the bedsheets, she opened her eyes and asked the man beside him, "How long have I been asleep?" Alex asked lazily as she snuggled closer to him.

"30 minutes. Sleep more, I will be here when you wake up." Sage then snuck the misplaced strands of hair to her ear.

"I can't waste another 30 minutes of sleeping. We can talk about anything. I just want to spend as much quality time with you while I still can." Alex insisted. She leaned her head on his chest as she intertwined his hands with her.

"Hmmm, Honey? Would you mind moving to Aira's building apartment while I am in the military? I can't seem to put my heart at ease knowing that you will be alone here. I could ask Hans to help you with the papers." He uttered worriedly.

"You don't have to worry, Hon. The security here is top-notch and we have a lot of memories here. I, at least, I have our memories with me to keep me company. I will be fine." She reassured him.

"Okay then, but please, take good care of yourself. And you can call Hans if you need extra hands. He may look unreliable but he gets things done, you can count on him." He paused then after a few seconds, he continued. "... And I think you would be needing Hans' help when dealing with your agency... You haven't informed them about our marriage, right?" Sage was hesitant to address this issue but they still have to discuss it.

"I did not tell them about my change in civil status yet. But Aira already checked my contract beforehand when informed them about my intention to register our marriage. And there are no specific stipulations in my contract about the change in my civil status by any chance... However, Aira told me that if things get worse, I may still need to pay damages but she made sure that it would not be too much of a blow on my end." Alex casually tells him as if it didn't bother her at all.

But Sage still felt distressed for her. Lucky for him Hans is his CEO but that is not the case for Alex. She is still an employee of another agency and he knows that her CEO would not like the news she would be telling him. But they could no longer do anything about it.

He then heaved a deep sigh and said, "I'm sure Hans is already on to it because Aira is involved. He won't just sit around and do nothing. He knows how to handle this stuff so we can trust him. I don't mind paying the damages but I won't just sit around if I find out that you would be punished more than what is just. I am your husband and I won't allow my wife to be bullied by anyone. I don't care if he's your CEO." He uttered with utmost determination.

"Why, did we not talk about this sooner? I could have reviewed your contract and could have formulated a more feasible plan of action about this." He mentioned with frustration in his voice.

"Love, we can handle this. Enough with this topic, it's giving me a headache. Visit me if you are given vacations okay?" Alex pleaded. She sure knows that she would miss him because he gave her too much to remember.

"I'll try but I won't promise. I can use my unused vacations to be released earlier, so I guess, I'd do that?" Sage rebutted.

"Fine. Fine. But be sure to take good care of yourself and eat at the right time. Don't worry about me. Aira and my team won't neglect me. I'm worried about you. They won't give you special treatment..." She enumerated as she continued with her long list of reminders.

They then became silent afterward. Sage thought it is getting late already. When he checked the clock, it was already 3:16 AM. So he started humming a song while caressing her back, trying to lull her to sleep.

"What song are you humming? Can you just sing it for me instead?" Alex asked. Sage was reluctant because he knew the song would change the mood. But when he saw anticipation in her eyes, he could only agree, applying the "happy wife, happy life" motto.

"Here I am waiting, I'll have to leave soon

Why am I holding on?

We knew this day would come,

we knew it all along..."

He started singing Daylight by Maroon 5 softly. His version is slower as if he felt the weight of every lyric but he continued.

"How did it come so fast?

This is our last night but it's late

And I'm trying not to sleep

'Cause I know, when I wake

I will have to slip away..."

When he received the letter about his enlistment, his only plan was to confess. He doesn't want to leave with another what-if at that time. Who would have thought that before his enlistment day, Alex would have become his wife? Three months passed like a blur. They enjoyed every moment of it, but also, it made the couple get used to each other's presence... making them reluctant to leave each other alone.

"Would it be easier to leave if we spent the last three months differently?" He asked himself. "I bet, it would still be the same", he thought then continued singing.

"And when the daylight comes I'll have to go

But tonight I'm gonna hold you so close

'Cause in the daylight we'll be on our own

But tonight I need to hold you so close..."

Sage's hug tightened as he sang but still enough for Alex to breathe. He held her so close as if memorizing the mold of her figure that perfectly fit with his embrace like a puzzle piece.

"Here I am staring at your perfection

In my arms, so beautiful

The sky is getting bright, the stars are burning out

Somebody slow it down

This is way too hard

'Cause I know, when the sun comes up

I will leave, this is my last glance

That will soon be a memory..."

Alex closed her eyes as she wanted to stop herself from crying. She wanted to imprint this song in her memory. She would miss his songs that will put her to sleep. And the bed beside her would be cold from now on. She abruptly felt heavy while having these thoughts.

Before they realized it, the sun has already risen which also signaled Sage's days in the outside world has ended. The alarm then broke the silence in the room.

Alex hugged her husband as tight as she could one last time. She became emotional that tears started to flow heavily and Sage could only allow her to release them. He too would miss his wife terribly but he could not do anything about it.

"I love you so so much," Alex whispered in his ears.

"I love you more. I promise this will be the last time I will leave you..." Sage responded as he sunk into her neck and inhaled the scent of his wife one last time.

The newly married couple then started to get up and prepare for Sage's enlistment. They took a shower together. The couple did their routine like Sage blowdried her hair while Alex shaved his face. Sage cooked breakfast while Alex packed his small luggage.

Sage tried to lighten the mood by making jokes but Alex can't seem to smile even with it. They tidied things up after their meal and they were now sitting on the couch waiting for Hans and Aira.

Sage told Alex not to send him off because it would burden him to see her while he gets in, especially if she started to cry. It was already torture to see her puffy and sad eyes. Luckily, Alex agreed to it.

"Think of your dream wedding while I'm away, okay? I thought of having even a simple wedding ceremony yesterday but I know you want to be in charge of it so I didn't push it through. Nonetheless, the simple dinner last night was wonderful."

"Whenever you're missing me, just send me messages even if I may not able to reply immediately., Sage added.

"I'll write and send letters to you from time to time. Wait for it."

"Letters? It might end up as a "diary" or a mini-book because you have a lot of things to say." Sage joked. He expected her to laugh or to pinch him. But he only got a smile from her, a sad one.

"I won't mind reading even your most random idea or your endless rants even if it reached 100+ pages. Just tell me about anything. I will try to write back if possible. Wow! Writing back and forth... that's like us in the pre-telephone era."

Then their doorbell rang. Alex opened it and saw that it was Hans and Aira.

Hans took Sage's luggage and went outside while Sage hugged his wife one last time. He closed his eyes as he was stopping himself from tears when he turned his back from her and started walking with heavy steps to the door.

Parting time will never be anyone's favorite but he has to. "Get it done now, so I could go out and would never have to leave her again", he conditioned his mind while going out.

Both gentlemen exited the apartment as Aira was left with Alex in the living room. When the door closed, Alex could no longer hold it in and broke down in tears as she hugged Aira.

#Spotify