#i am assuming it is cause people dont put it back properly….

[oh-gh0st]

got thanked very enthusiastically by a walmart employee for putting a basket back in the right spot

#ghosts rambles #i am assuming it is cause people dont put it back properly…. #idk it was a nice interaction. my sibling said it was funny tho

[fairuzfan]

hello!! I don't know if this is appropriate (pls do not feel obligated to answer) but i was wondering what were ur thoughts on the israeli grass-roots movement Standing Together. I first found out abt them through a tumblr post that shared this substack article (https://theconnector.substack.com/p/if-its-not-helping-then-shut-the). the article immediately put an extremely bad taste in my mouth towards the movement and its founders, but i dont know if i'm being overly-critical of them.

Hey thanks for sending this in. No worries, it's totally ok. I was actually debating whether or not to publish this, mostly because I was afraid this would distract from Gaza, but I decided that it's imperative to stop normalizers from squeezing their way into the movement. Remember, the demands of the Palestinian people begin and end with liberation. Everything else is irrelevant and pointless to the cause.

So first off — I don't think you're being overly-critical of them at all. The first red flag of both this article and the group themselves is that they often exchange "Palestinian" with "Arab" and "Israeli" with "Jewish." That right off the bat shows me they have no respect for Palestinians and see Jewish people and Palestinians as mutually exclusive categories. I've spoken on this blog before about how racist it is to assume no Palestinian is Jewish and vice versa and this group really illustrates the forced division they imagine within their own goals and wording.

The article itself is quite anti-Palestinian in its erasure — it talks about avoiding words like "genocide," and "apartheid," and "ethnic cleansing" because "they are serious people trying to actually get something done." I really don't understand why not using those words makes you a serious person. If anything, it erases a description of how to define what it happening to Palestinians.

The whole redefinition of "peace" in this article and group is just calmness. These people are not advocating for peace in which families are reunited and land is given back — they are advocating for a muted version of the status quo of the current political system, just with less obviously fanatical governments. Peace cannot be attained when the people directly affected cannot have a say in defining it. They won't even say the word "apartheid." It's not some scholarly word with no meaning — it has actual consequences and effects on people (click). Palestinians are tried in military court. Their movement is monitored and restricted. It means that there are different legal systems for different people (click)! If you reject that this exists, then you're not interested in making the lives of Palestinians better — you're only interested in making your own life more comfortable.

As soon as you remove our ability to say words like "genocide" and "apartheid", you remove our ability to determine what happens specifically to Palestinians based on racism. By only saying "Palestinians are getting killed" an Israeli can come in and say "well so am I, by Hamas! Let's work together to end the killing" when it ignores that this is a systematic effort to completely wipe out all trace of Palestinians from the world.

It's like saying, "Don't say you have arthritis, say your joints hurt. And well, that happens to everyone, so let's just find a way to stop all our joints from hurting!" Then you work with people who fundamentally don't understand your pain and symptoms, oversimplifying your situation to the point of malicious universality. Sure, everyone's joints hurt, but my joints are hurting because my immune system is attacking them, not because of old age. You can't help my arthritis the same way you can wear a heat/cold patch to sooth your joints — there are other problems you're ignoring that all work together to cause me systematic pain and might cause bigger problems in the future if left untreated properly.

Similar symptoms don't mean similar causes and ignoring that is fundamentally ignoring the root issue and attempting to trivialize Palestinian's suffering. As soon as you take away the words to describe our situation, it doesn't sound so bad, does it?

Now, basically, the... weirdest part of the article is this excerpt:

People like him in Israel are very aware of how the left here is talking about them, and it’s not helping. “You can call me a colonizer or a settler,” he declared, “but I’m not going anywhere. And neither are the Palestinians.” When people chant, “Palestine will be free,” he said, “we Israelis hear, ‘without you.’ In the same way that a lot of Palestinians hear the ministers in Bibi’s government speak and think they want to do the same thing to them.” The problem as they both see it is that we are caught between two polar opposites. “Hamas believes in Greater Palestine,” Green said. “And on the other side we have people who believe in the idea of Greater Israel.” Indeed, that concept is in the charter of Netanyahu’s Likud Party. “Both sides have very problematic governing bodies,” he added. And the status quo of maintaining the occupation and managing the conflict has been exploded now.

Well, first off, Hamas is not the only one who believes in "Greater Palestine." Palestinians around the globe have been fighting for that since 1948. Second off, it's quite odd that you would center yourself in the wake of the ongoing slaughter of 10,000 people, with no end in sight. Right now, I would assume you'd be advocating for an end to the mass killings first and foremost, but you seem to be more worried about your right to stolen land.

Third, this completely erases the violence done to Palestinians the past 75+ years in favor for a "peace" that will only allow citizens of Israel comfort in their lives. Sure Palestinian citizens of Israel might have more comfortable lives, maybe (although I doubt it). But what about Gaza, which has been ravaged by Israel? What about the people in the Occupied Territories, whose economy depends on Israel, which controls it? What about the millions of refugees around the world who can't so much as see the place where they grew up because they've been exiled? The colonization of Palestine by Israel is not so old — there are people STILL ALIVE who participated in the massacres of Palestinians in 1948 and 1967 and walk around without facing any real consequences for that. My great-grandmother had seen both and she only passed away a couple of years ago. Where is the "peace" for her? Where is the "peace" for millions like her who still dream of going back to their childhood home?

This group AND the article tries to cloud your view into illustrating two opposing groups with equal power. They aren't. Palestinians, unfortunately, endure systematic oppression both within Gaza and throughout Palestine. Each and every time they try to resist peacefully, they've been shot, abducted, or imprisoned. The Great March of Return is one such example. BDS is also an example, yet that has constantly been outlawed by American governments. There have been a plethora of Palestinian artists, writers, and filmmakers who have been silenced or killed for advocating for a Free Palestine. Most recently, this included Heba Abu-Nada who was an award winning poet and writer who was martyred on October 20th after getting shelled by an Israeli missile. Ghassan Kanafani also was assassinated last century. The list goes on. Palestinians have no hope of "changing the system from within" because that internal change will always depend on the mercy of the Israelis that pretend to ally themselves with the Palestinians. Someone in Gaza cannot leave their refugee camp and go back to their ancestral home because no one in this group is advocating for that — and remember, the right of return is an essential part of the demands of the Palestinian people and we cannot ignore that for a forced "peace" that favors calmness over actual justice.

Now as we examine the group themselves, here is their mission statement/goal:

Standing Together is a progressive grassroots movement mobilizing Jewish and Palestinian citizens of Israel against the occupation and for peace, equality, and social justice. We know that the majority have far more in common than that which sets us apart and only a tiny minority benefits from the status quo. The future that we want-peace and independence for Israelis and Palestinians, full equality for everyone in this land, and true social, economic, and environmental justice — is possible. To achieve this future, we must stand together as a united front: Jewish and Palestinian, secular and religious, Mizrahi and Ashkenazi, rural and urban, and people of all genders and sexual orientations. As the largest Jewish-Arab grassroots movement in Israel, we are committed to creating an alternative to our existing reality and building the political strength to make this transformation possible.

Yet again, they are separating "Palestinian" and "Jewish," reinforcing this dichotomy that's so harmful. AND they're interchanging "Palestinian" and "Arab," which erases the diversity within Palestinian society. A group that makes the distinction between "Palestinian" and "Jewish" shows that they are not interested in the restitution of Palestinians but rather solidifying their own position within society by emphasizing a false dichotomy between "Palestinians" and "Jews" with no potential for overlap.

They mention "true justice" but "true justice" doesn't exist if there are no reparations towards the people who have been exiled and displaced, murdered, and tortured the past 75+ years. Justice is not an abstract concept — it is adhering to the demands of the people most impacted by systematic oppression, which is the Palestinians.

Looking at their leadership, there are only a couple of Palestinians with the vast majority of them being non-Palestinian. Sorry, but I'm wholly uninterested in "peace" and "equality" movements that are not made up of majority Palestinians. It's only common sense that you would expect such a movement to be led by Palestinians themselves — but this group seems to use Sally Abed as a token Palestinian who furthers their narrative of wanting "peace" in Israeli society. And even looking at their action items, you can see they make a point about emphasizing safety for the *Israeli* citizens above all else, stating that their far right government does nothing to serve the citizens of Israel. They claim it will also bring safety for Gazans, but how? You can advocate for a change in the government, yes, but if the people in Gaza are subject to getting their rights taken away based on the whims of whoever happens to be in power then no amount of "internal" activism in Israeli society will help them. They will always be at the mercy of the people who have a vested interest in erasing the people of Gaza and the West Bank so that they may take over their land.

Please remember, the civil rights movement of the 60s and the BLM Movement of this century were led by and FOR Black people of the United States because they were the ones making the demands for a change in their circumstances. Because at the end of the day, the people who are the most oppressed deserve the right to decide how their future appears and should not be dictated by the oppressor in any way.

This group tries to make a separation between the "Israeli people" and the "Israeli government." Right away, I have to laugh. They act as if the colonization of Palestine is too old for anyone to remember its origins — no. I had family living in Palestine as recently as '67. Maybe *this* generation didn't choose to settle in Palestine, but the previous generation did. And the generations before that. Before 1948, Israel didn't even exist. Hell, before a couple hundred years ago, BORDERS didn't exist. Not to mention, mandatory conscription means that most civilians will have been directly part of the suppressing forces, making them liable for the material effects of colonization. Why are people so resistant to the idea of undoing colonialism and its effects? I cannot think of any other reason than because they have a vested interest in keeping those borders up, in emphasizing nationality because they're one of the groups of people that is benefited from the establishment of a "Jewish State."

So in that, unless you call for an end to the idea of the "Jewish State" in Palestine, then I cannot think of you as a sincere advocate for Palestinian rights — this group especially plays at normalization of a muted version of the status quo rather than actual justice and reparations. The "Israeli advocates" within this group will benefit first and foremost in their own activism — therefore it's hard for me to view them in a positive light.

All activism for Palestinians should center around giving Palestinians reparations, as well as giving reparations to all indigenous victims of colonization. I think this group only tries to muddy the waters to make people forget what they're fighting for. I honestly do not understand why liberation scares you, if it means that no nation-state will have complete and total power over you and your family.

"Free Palestine" is an anti-colonial movement. Such a thing is possible — but you have to try to make it possible. Those against the unending liberation of all people are one of those who have the most to benefit from the continuation of colonization.

Right now, your main concern should be the people of Gaza and the people of the West Bank, and ensuring their safety and longevity in the face on continued erasure. "Peace" is all well and good but who exactly gets to define that? Who gets to benefit most from it? Unless you can unequivocally answer "ALL Palestinians," then you're not an ally — you're only interested in helping yourselves.

Remember — the fact that we even had to fight for our rights is itself an injustice. At the very least, ask the people who are most affected what they want before you listen to Israelis who have a vested interest in keeping the state of Israel alive.

#palestine #gaza

[traumasurvivorshelpingsurvivors]

tw: csa and cocsa, mentions of mental illness and derealisation/depersonalisation, it may be considered a vent too so be aware

hi, i'm immensely grateful for having a place to say this, or to talk about it with anyone, so if any of the mods decides to answer this ask, please know that the time and effort you put into it is greatly appreciated and i hope the best for you. <3

so, i'm not sure where i'm going with this so i'll make sure to proof read it when i'm finished and i'll try to keep things the least graphic i can. i would say i'm looking for advice or help, but really, it's not like other people can dig in my mind and memories for me. so maybe just reassurance, because i really really need to speak to someone who understands and has gone through my struggles as well, and going through this without even remembering properly is frustrating.

so. i've been sexually assaulted or molested as a child. this is what i suspect at least. the signs have always been there, but i've also experienced other trauma and i have other mental illnesses and issues, so they could have been caused by other things as well. i also have an awful, terrible memory and a dissociative disorder (i experience both depersonalisation and derealisation, to the point of psychosis sometimes), so my grasp on reality and memories is not good at all.

two years and a half ago, more or less, a very old memory from my childhood, of which i remember basically nothing, came back up while rewatching banana fish, an anime in which some major themes are rape and the sexual abuse of children. at that moment i felt very scared and very confused, and i didnt know what to do of it. i think i also kind of forgot or repressed it again.

almost two years later (last october) it all came back up again and this time i actually processed what had happened. i still didnt know what to do of it, and i partially still dont know now, but it's been troubling me. this memory is of me being touched in a sexual manner when i was still a child (i estimated that it's probably from ages 5 to 9, but who can be sure). i wish i could remember clearly, and more, because i'm uncertain about the real perpetrator (i dont know whether it is the person i remember, or if i just replace the person in my memories) and whether it really happened, and even if it was only this time or others (which i'm very suspicious about since i don't think that my reactions are justified just by this).

it's scary and, if i am correct, it really has scarred me without me even noticing. i have so many doubts and the thought of it has been bothering me a lot. i don't wish to remember for any reason (since it wouldn't be useful at all anymore) except for the fact that i *need* to know and understand to what extent i've been traumatised and find the cause to the various signs i've noticed.

it's so frustrating.

i've actually compiled a list of said signs that i've noticed, other than the resurfaced memory itself, and i have all the more reasons to believe that if the body knows then it did happen, but i hate not having more to work on. the more i think of it the more unreal it feels.

- klaus

Hi klaus,

I'm so sorry about what you've been through and please know you're not alone. It's important to acknowledge that memory recall can be tricky, and it's not uncommon to have doubts and uncertainties.

I think it’s important to consider that if you did go through something, it’s possible that you could be partially repressing it. Just because you don't have all the details doesn’t necessarily mean it didn’t happen, as memory is not only flimsy but having a dissociative disorder can exacerbate this.

That all being said, I don’t want to say for absolute sure that something happened because there simply isn’t enough information. If nothing happened, it would be dangerous to assume it did, so I would recommend to just give this some time and see if anything else comes up for you. it’s important to give yourself the time and space to heal and for those details to come back on their own. It can be distressing to not know where these things are coming from, but you can do damage to yourself when you actively search for memories that potentially aren’t ready to be explored.

Ultimately this could be something to explore with the guidance and mediation of a mental health professional such as a therapist, if you can access or afford it. A therapist, ideally one who specializes in trauma or dissociative disorders, can help you make sense of what you recall and give you ways to process this. Therapy can assist you in processing your emotions, managing dissociation, and gaining a deeper understanding of your trauma's impact.

Please know that healing is a gradual process, and it's normal to feel overwhelmed, confused, and uncertain at times. By reaching out and sharing your story, you're taking important steps towards healing and finding answers. I hope I could help, and please let us know if you need anything.

-Bun

#mod bun #trauma talks #tw abuse #tw child abuse #tw sa #tw csa #klaus

[brelione]

Trying To Help (The Best Boys)

Series Masterlist

Warnings:Mentions of death, not super sad kind of just conflicting I think (figured id give you guys an emotional break), mentions of blood.Not proof read because im a lazy bitch.

“Hey pretty boy.”You whispered, trying not to cry.Topper frowned, not understanding where he was or why everything felt so weird. “Im sorry I drove off a bridge.”He replied, his voice sounding funny as if he had been talking with food in his mouth.

 “Dont be bubs, you didnt mean to….”You replied, hoping your voice wasnt hurting his head.His eyes closed again, too lazy to keep them open. “Rafe should be here soon.”You bit the inside of your cheek anxiously.

His nose scrunched up, a look of disapproval on his face. “Why does everything always gotta be about Rafe?”He asked, his eyes opening wide when he realised there was a cast on his arm.He moved the fingers on his right hand, making sure that one wasnt broken too.Needles and IVs had been stabbed into his arm and hand, an air tube across his face and at his nostrils.

He noticed your hand on the bed, reaching for it with his good hand.You let him hold it, glad he wasnt mad at you.The room was quiet and dark but not so much that it was awkward, the two of you just trying to keep eachother calm. “Hey,guys.”The door opened to reveal Rafe.

He was wearing a backwards hat, a light blue polo shirt and black pants.He looked just as much of a mess as you, a guilty expression on his face.His eyes flicked over to you and Toppers hands as he sat in the chair next to you.

 “Is that Rafe?”Topper asked, too tired to open his eyes again. “Yeah, dude.You really fucked up this time.”Rafe smiled but his face quickly fell into a frown when you didnt do the same.You began to drag your fingertips along Toppers arm, feeling a bit better when he grinned at the feeling.

“So how was the movie?”He asked, feeling his eyes water up. “Um...yeah, we didnt end up finishing it.Guess it wasnt the same without you there.”You muttered, your fingers trailing back down to his palm.

He hummed, taking in a deep breath when he realised you could hear his heartbeat increasing from the monitor. “I knew you wouldnt finish it.Between you and Kelce screaming and….and Rafe being an impatient slut.”Topper smiled, opening his eyes ever so slightly to catch a glimpse of Rafe’s reaction.

 “Hmm...you’re lucky your arms already broken, pussy.”Rafe smiled, becoming less tense when you rolled your eyes. “DOnt be fucking rude.”You whispered with a small smile. “You know what...its the quoting the Kardashians daily for me.”Topper bit his lip as he waited for you to respond. “Its...the breaking my flower pot for me.”You replied, tapping your fingers against his palm.You grinned,recalling the memory.

You and Kelce had spent the morning together after a sleepover.You had scrolled through your pinterest feed as usual, coming across a ton of diy plant pots and decided to just go for it.You told Kelce about your idea as you two sat down for breakfast, both of you half asleep as you drank coffee. “Yeah, okay.”he agreed, putting on his shoes once he had finished his eggs.

 “So how many pots should we get?”He asked as you buckled your seatbelt.You shrugged, not really having a proper answer as he began to drive to Walmart, cursing when he couldnt find a parking spot.Once he did he waited for you to go back to your pinterest boards and figure out exactly what type of paint you would need for the project.

It was far too early for the store to be busy, holding on to Kelce’s back as he grabbed a cart. “What isle?”He asked, stopping to grab a bag of cheetos. “Uhhh….I dont know.Hold on.”You pulled out your phone, holding onto him with one arm and resting the phone on top of his head.

 “Thirteen.”You replied, squealing and holding on for dear life as he began running through the store, coming to a halt when he reached the isle.You hopped off of his back, grabbing some small pots and some medium pots and putting them into the cart carefully. 

“Can I paint spongebob on mine?”He asked, his eyes glancing through the paint colors on the hunt for a bright yellow. “I dont care, paint whatever you want.”You replied, grabbing the primary colors and tossing them into the cart.Kelce being Kelce had freaked when he saw the variety of stickers, buying at least thirty dollars worth of puppy stickers, marvel stickers, car stickers and shiny spikes. 

“No weeds are gonna mess with this plant when im done with it.”He said proudly as he grabbed every single strip of spike stickers.You had rolled your eyes, picking out some pearl like stickers and tossing them in the cart.Kelce smiled, getting an idea.

He moved all of the items to the opposite side of the cart to leave an empty space, picking you up quickly and putting you inside. “Kelce-seriously?”You sighed, holding on to the side as he pushed the cart quickly, swerving it against the tile on his way to the plant isle. 

“Yep, its easier this way.”He replied, stopping the cart once you guys got to the other side of the store. “Ooh….can we grow sunflowers?”He asked, tossing the bag of seeds into the cart before you could answer. “Get lavender too.”You replied, taking out your phone to play subway surfers.

Kelce huffed, arms wrapping around your shoulders and placing a kiss on the top of your head as he watched you play. “Whats your high score?”He asked, playing with the baby hairs that had fallen out of your braids. 

“I dunno, higher than yours.”You grinned, hearing him gasp. “Fucking rude.”He muttered, flicking your temple. “Fuck you.”You replied, avoiding a train. “Fuck you!”He exclaimed driving the cart to check out.He grabbed a few packs of gum as well, scanning the items at the self checkout.

You two then spent the whole afternoon painting pots and covering them in an obnoxious amount of stickers.The small one that Kelce had done all by himself was covered with spike stickers that kept falling off. “It wont stay stuck!”He exclaimed, becoming frustrated.

 “Kelce, babe, its cause you’ve got paint on the sticky part.”You sighed, grabbing a paper towel and putting it under the water to wipe off the yellow paint from the pot.He was a pouting mess for the rest of the afternoon but was happy with the outcome of the pot, taking a photo of it to post on his snapchat story. “How did you do that?”He asked, pointing to the pastel rainbow pot you had painted.You shrugged, just going off of what you saw in the video.You two had decided to just go sit on the couch and watch some cartoons while you waited for Rafe and Topper, leaving the pots to dry on the table.

Once Topper had gotten there he had given you a quick greeting and went into the kitchen to get something to drink, accidentally elbowing one of the pots in the process and sending it to the floor, the clay colliding with your tile floor. “TOPPER!WHAT THE FUCK?!”You exclaimed, rushing into the kitchen.

“Its the stealing my hoodies from me and then pretending you didnt for me.”He replied.Your heart dropped as you realized you were wearing his hoodie right now, beginning to freak out when you realised you werent even wearing pants.

 “Shut up.”You replied, squeezing his hand lightly.Kelce came through the door a few seconds later, sighing loudly. “These people are ridiculous-I had to convince them that I was Top’s adopted brother.Did you have to do that?”He asked Rafe, going to stand at the end of the bed.

 “Nope.”Rafe replied.Kelce bit the inside of his cheek, staring at Topper. “Concussion?”He asked, noticing the bandage that was peaking out from Topper’s forehead.You nodded, looking between the two boys. “How you feeling?”Kelce asked.Topper grinned, peaking one eye open. 

“Like shit.”Topper replied, a small smile on his face. “How long am I gonna be stuck here?”Topper asked, finally acknowledging the fact that he was in a hospital.Rafe shook his head, looking over to Kelce as if he knew anything about the situation that you and Rafe didnt.

Kelce shrugged, not knowing either. “I mean, with that kind of injury one could only assume a good two weeks or so.You wont be able to drive- (Y/N)- how did you get here?”Kelce asked, realising.You had texted them from the hospital which meant that Rafe hadnt driven you.

You went quiet, feeling their eyes on you. “Uhhh….I drove.”You replied, hoping they wouldnt push further.Topper opened both of his eyes this time, wanting to make sure he had understood properly. “What?”Topper asked, cringing at the lisp he now had.

He shouldve known his voice would sound different.He had literally bit off part of his tongue. “I drove.”You repeated, feeling a bit insecure.Rafe just looked confused, Kelce was shocked and Topper just couldnt believe it.

 “How’d it go?”Topper asked, wanting to sit up when he realised that he couldnt really move that much.You shrugged, trying to figure out why the attention was on you when Topper had literally almost died.

 “I dont really know, kinda just did it.I dont really remember it either.”You replied, feeling Rafe’s hand drift onto your knee, tapping your knee cap.He had been doing it for years.He was awkward most of the time and didnt know what to do if his hand was empty, usually going to hold yours or just touch you in some way to feel more grounded.

 “Why dont you remember it?”Topper asked, unable to grasp the whole situation.Thank god he didnt know that the nurse had told you about his ‘last words’.He wouldve had a heart attack on spot. “I was in shock, dum dum.I was just-just trying to make breakfast and then the fucking hospital calls me and tells me that you drove into a river.”You laughed, a few tears rolling down your face.

Toppers heart beat quickened,squeezing your hand tight. “I said I was sorry...did you at least drink water this morning?”He asked, wishing he could hug you.You laughed, wiping your face. “No, no I didnt cause I thought you were gonna die!”You replied, sniffling.

 “For the love of life, Topper.Keep up.”You let out a shaky breath. “Im trying my best, sunshine.”He answered, not paying attention to Rafe or Kelce.It felt like you were the only one who was actually in the room with him.

 “I mean, I guess its just karma.Have any of us ever left during a movie night?All im saying is I think its like a curse or something.”Topper answered, trying his best to get you to stop crying.Kelce couldnt even think of something to say, the situation was overpowering him.

You just sighed,leaning your forehead against the mattress, staring down at the floor. “Why’d you leave?”You asked, still not understanding the full situation that lead to Topper leaving your house.Rafe shifted in his seat, squeezing your knee, almost trying to tell you not to bring it up again.

 “Just...wanted to go home.”He mumbled, knowing better than to bring up the argument that he no longer cared about.He couldve laughed at it.As jealous as he was as Rafe even he could admit that the son of a bitch cared about you more than anyone and to accuse him of not caring about you was the stupidest thing he had ever said.And that was saying a lot.

SOmetimes he was close to positive that Rafe didnt care about him or Kelce but there was never a single doubt in his mind that Rafe didnt love you.Now he kind of wish that he had died since it would leave you with Rafe and Kelce.

They were both better friends than he could ever be no matter how hard he tried.It wouldve been better for the whole friend group if he had stayed dead. “You have a concussion, bubs.Nothing you say is relevant for the next two weeks.”You joked, feeling the tears roll down your face and onto your collarbones, not even bothering to wipe them away anymore.

 “You have a single brain cell, (Y/N).Nothing you say is relevant.”He replied, laughing a bit.It didnt do much but hurt his head and make his tongue sting. “See?That’s not relevant.”You replied, lifting your head up from the mattress and kissing the back of his hand lightly.

Rafe smiled slightly, glad to see that you were a bit better and that Topper hadnt yelled at him to get out. “You know what?I just think I should say something really important.”Topper announced, thinking that he sounded louder than he actually did.Rafe squeezed your knee tightly, worried that Topper would tell you what he knew and that Kelce would freak out about it.

 “I dont think im allowed to watch tv with a concussion-fuck.”Topper grumbled, hearing Rafe let out a sigh of relief.He noticed Kelce still standing, getting up and asking you quietly if you two could share your seat.

You huffed, standing up and allowing him to sit in your chair, sitting on his lap, feeling self conscious when Toppers hoodie lifted to reveal half your thigh. “I mean, you could always do other things to pass the time.”Kelce replied, sitting down in the chair.

 “Hmm...like what?”Topper asked.Thank god Kelce was an optimist, the rest of you would be absolutely fucked without him. “Like….coloring, reading or….I dont know, thinking.”Kelce suggested, going quiet soon after. “Read what?”Topper asked.

He had never liked reading.Back when you guys were still in school he would refuse to read anything, tossing his homework down as you and Kelce tried to do yours.You usually had to harass Rafe for hours to do his work when all he could focus on was you.He would purposely annoy you just so you’d talk more and get all mad.

Between him and Topper you never got your work done, having to read to Topper so he would get some of his work done. “I could read you the Harry Potter books, ive got them downloaded to my phone.”You replied, a small grin on your face.

Toppers face became red, wanting to protest but deciding that he’d rather have you read to him than continue with the upsetting conversations. “Yeah, okay.”He answered, closing his eyes as you began to read.Kelce was smiling as you read, making comments every once in a while. 

“Wow, what a bitch.”He muttered about Vernon.Rafe squeezed your waist, resting his head against your back.It was some time in the afternoon when the nurse came in to check Toppers IV and give him some more medication. “Theres food available in the cafeteria, a warm soup or something soft would be best for your friend here.”She gestured towards Topper before leaving.

She had given you all a weird look, trying to figure out why a patient’s girlfriend was sitting on the lap of his assumed brother.Kelce bit the inside of his cheek, hearing his stomach rumbling. “Alright, well im going to the cafeteria. (Y/N), can you come with me please?”He asked.

You sighed, shaking your head. “Im not wearing pants.”You answered. “Can you stand up for a minute?”Rafe asked.You huffed, getting off of his lap, eyes widening when he pulled off his shorts and handed them right over to you.

Kelce wasnt even surprised, just hungry.You awkwardly pulled up the shorts, tying them tight around your waist and following Kelce into the elevator.Everything was going smoothly until it came to a stop. “What the hell?”Kelce asked, hitting a ton of buttons at once. “Kelce!Stop that!”You smacked his wrist, screaming when the elevator moved slightly, coming to a stop again. 

“What should I do?Im pressing the red button!”He exclaimed as he pressed it again. “I dont know!Press it again!”You exclaimed, clinging onto his arm. “Oh my fuck-shit dammit!Now we’re gonna die!”You exclaimed. 

“We’re already in a hospital, we’ll be fine.”He answered, pressing the button again. “Kelce!It’s gonna fall!”You exclaimed, holding onto him so tight you were starting to shake. “No its not, its fine.Just wait for someone to come fix it.”He spoke, pulling you onto the floor so you were sitting against him. “It’ll be fine, just wait.”He repeated.

“Im sorry, man.”Topper sighed, looking over to Rafe.THe brunette simply shrugged, not really bothered by it anymore. “Apology accepted.”Rafe replied.Topper let out a sigh of relief, glad that the tension wasnt as strong.

 “But like, can you be honest real quick?”Topper asked, waiting for Rafe to answer. “Yeah, yeah okay.”Rafe replied, dreading what Topper would ask. “Did you guys do anything?”He asked.Rafe frowned, not knowing what to say.

He didnt want to tell Topper something that you werent okay with him knowing but at the same time didnt want to lie. “Yeah, yeah we did.”Rafe replied, holding his breath.Topper simply hummed, letting out a breath through his nose. 

“Were you careful?You know she doesnt….hasnt done those types of things.You didnt hurt her though, right?”Topper asked.Rafe was a bit confused, thinking that Topper would get all jealous and grumpy. “Yeah, yeah I was….she was fine, like she said she was fine and I told her she could….ya know, stop me.She didnt though, I was careful.”Rafe’s cheeks were red, trying not to go into too much depth.

Topper nodded a bit, sighing. “Thats good...so like, are you guys dating now or whatever?”Topper asked, trying to ignore the pit in his stomach.Rafe gulped, not really knowing the answer himself. “I dont know….its all complicated I guess.”He replied, feeling guilty now that he was actually talking about it.

 “Okay...hey, do you think she knows?”Topper asked, hoping you wouldnt walk in at the wrong time.Rafe laughed at the comment. “Damn, man.I dont even know.Like, she obviously knows I do.Ive made it pretty obvious but like...you’ve made it pretty obvious too at this point I think.I feel like she doesnt think anyone would like her like that no matter how obvious we make it.I dont know, I feel like right now wouldnt be a good time to talk to her about this though, lets just not say anything to her.”Rafe muttered, realising he had promised you that he wouldnt tell anyone what you two had done last night

. “Hmm...you know whats fucked?”Topper asked, blinking slowly.Rafe hummed, waiting for him to continue. “I lost my two year streak with her.And you.”The blonde smiled, wiggling his toes carefully.Rafe laughed, pinching his nostrils. “Yeah, thats fucked.”He agreed.

“Nobody’s coming.”You huffed, holding on to Kelce’s hand as you leaned against the elevator wall. “You dont know that.”He replied, not sounding genuine at all. “I dont know….do you wanna talk about something?”You asked, thinking of ways to pass time while you guys were trapped.

He sighed, nodding. “What do you wanna talk about?”He asked, flicking at your fingertips. “I dont know...how are your cousins?”You asked, realising that that’s where he had come from.He chuckled, shaking his head.

 “Alec would not stop complaining about sushi, I guess her favorite restaurant closed and now shes all pissy about it.Shes really fucking tall now.”He sighed, kind of glad that he was able to leave the house.You nodded, trying to think of something else to say.

Alec was his 17 year old cousin, she was nice sometimes but she could also be a lot to handle from what you had heard.She was pretty cool though, always commenting on your instagram posts and hyping you up.It kind of gave Rafe a little competition since she always commented before him.

 “What about Jax?Is he still an ass?”You asked.You had met Jax a total of two times, both times he had called you hot and stared at you.He was 17 so it was kind of weird of him but you hadnt had to deal with him in a good six months.

Kelce shrugged, not having much to say. “Yeah, I dont think hes ever gonna change.He tried to download porn to my phone.”Kelce replied, biting the inside of his cheek. “Hey, is it true that Rafe kissed you?I mean, he told me but I figured he probably just dreamt it.”fuck.

Now everything was coming unraveled and you’d have to figure out how you wouldnt hurt anyone. “Uh...yeah, he did.”You answered, biting your bottom lip.He was silent.That was scary if something was so shocking that Kelce had nothing to say.

 “Alright...so how do you feel about it?”He asked, keeping his voice calm and steady.He was tired of not knowing what was going on, not understanding the new tension between you and Rafe.There had always been something there but recently it seemed to get a lot more serious.

But then again he had noticed the way you held Topper, how you’d sigh whenever the blonde kissed your forehead or when he’d hug you.He didnt really want to say anything, figuring that when you wanted to date one of them you would.

Now he sounded exactly like Topper, you were pretty sure those were the exact words that he had said to you. “Um….yeah, I dont really know.I guess that like im not mad about it but I just...I dont know how to feel.”You answered, knowing that it sounded stupid.

Kelce nodded, understanding. “So do you like Rafe?LIke, you know.”He asked, pulling at the sleeve of the hoodie out of boredom.You shrugged, not knowing the answer. “(Y/N), come on now.I see the way you look at him...its a little bit of something.”He pushed.

You knew he was right but you’d rather die than admit it. “I dont know, Kelce.Its just weird, I guess.Like we’ve been friends for like...eight years and now all this shit is happening.”You answered.

He nodded, trying to think of the best advice to give you. “Alright, well life is too short for shit.If you like Rafe then I think you should go for it.All that matters is that you’re happy and if he makes you happy then you should be with him.”Kelce squeezed your hand, waiting for you to speak.

Of course Kelce would say that.That was the most Kelce thing you had ever heard him say. “Yeah, but I dont think I want to be with him.”You muttered, not knowing how to explain what you were feeling.Kelce was confused, trying his best not to show it.

 “Okay….but why?Do you like someone else at the same time?”He asked, trying to piece everything together.The elevator began to move again, scaring you both. “Shit.”You sighed, holding on to his arm as he helped you up. 

“We’ll talk about this later.”It sounded like more of a question.He had never been great at being assertive.A few staff members apologized, explaining that a patient had went roaming around and they had to stop the elevators to prevent them from leaving the hospital.

Kelce held onto your hand tight as you made your way to the cafeteria.None of the food looked particularly appetizing, eventually deciding on a small container of mac and cheese for yourself, a turkey sandwich for Rafe and finding a sealed bowl of potato soup for Topper.

Kelce had grabbed a few sodas and a gatorade for Topper, reuniting with you as you both went to the line, paying for the food.You two had decided on just taking the elevator again, figuring it would be difficult to walk up the stairs with so much to carry.

Luckily it didnt come to a stop this time, the two of you completing the trip successfully and walking back into the hospital room.Rafe and Topper were laughing about something, Rafe sitting in his boxers.It was quite funny.You all ate in a pretty much silence, having to help Topper elevate the upper half of his bed so he could eat properly. 

“I hate hospital food.”Rafe sighed, biting into his sandwich while keeping you balanced on his left thigh.He tried to ignore all of the thoughts he was getting, figuring that the lack of caffeine in his system was making him horny.

That first night in the hospital had been the hardest.You were the only one who was allowed to stay while Kelce and Rafe had to go home.You had given Rafe his sweatpants back.

He decided that he needed to talk to you, taking your hand and getting far away from the room where the trauma patients were seperated from the elderly. “How are you?”He asked.You kind of wanted to punch him.What the hell kind of question was that?

 “I just...im fine.”You forced yourself to grin, not wanting to be rude.He licked his lips, looking around. “Thats...not what I meant.”His face flushed a bit, his ears pink. “oh-oh....um, yeah im fine.”You repeated.He hummed, hands ending up in the pockets of your hoodie.

 “Thats good....im sorry that I went so fast, I know you wanted me to be gentle.”He apologized, kissing your forehead. “Its fine, Rafe.”You answered, hugging him.He huffed, accepting the hug. 

“I’ll see you tomorrow, I can stop by your house and grab you some clothes.”He offered, staring down at you.You nodded, accepting the offer.He leaned down, kissing you gently, feeling himself get weak.

You pulled away after a moment, kissing the tip of his nose before standing on your tiptoes to kiss his forehead. “I’ll see you tomorrow.”You grinned, kissing him gently. “Alright, text me the clothes that you want...do you want one of my shirts?”he asked, smiling when you nodded. “Alright....okay, tomorrow.”He repeated, finally letting go of you.

You ended up staying up for a majority of the night, holding Topper’s hand as you read to him, switching from Harry Potter to short stories.He had moved over in his bed ever so slightly, groaning in pain, staring at the small empty space he had made.

You took the message, hesitantly laying next to him, becoming stiff when he wrapped his good arm around you and let you rest your head on his shoulder. “You’re cold.”He mumbled, holding you tighter.

The nurse came in to wake him up every hour and a half since sleep was bad for concussions.You barely got any sleep, more focused on listening to make sure his heartbeat was steady.

Rafe and Kelce came at seven in the morning with coffee and donuts, a container of chocolate flavored yogurt for Topper.Rafe had stuffed one of your backpacks full of clothes, grabbing whatever he thought would bring you comfort.

He had grabbed you a new shirt from his closet, a mint blue and purple striped polo that was pretty long on him which meant it would fit you like a baggy dress, spraying it with his cologne.

He grabbed your facewash for you, a hairbrush, some hair ties, some socks, soft pants and some loose fitting shirts.He felt a little guilty for looking through your bras and underwear but he knew he couldnt just not bring you some, grabbing a few random ones and stuffing them in the bag.

He grabbed your polaroid camera and a few of your photos, thinking that you might show them to Topper.You were glad to be able to change into some pants, thanking him quietly and slipping in the bathroom to change, sighing when you noticed how wattery and irritated your eyes looked, changing into the shirt that you had seen Rafe wear a couple of times, sniffing it and feeling a calm sensation run through your body.

You sat at the foot of the bed, pulling your knees to your chest as you drank your coffee, taking long, slow blinks.That had been your first day without sleep.It wasnt until the third day that Kelce and Rafe were becoming really concerned.

It had began to rain outside, Kelce and Rafe were trying to convince you to leave and go home. “No.”You answered, sitting in one of the chairs.Topper was asleep.“No-no, you.We’re going home- dont give me that look.You can come back tomorrow but tonight you’re going to sleep in your bed, okay?”Kelce asked, not really giving you any options, picking up your bag.

 “No.”You repeated, wanting to scream when he grabbed your arm, bringing you outside the room. “(Y/N), you havent slept in days.Just come home.”Rafe tried to convince you, going on to explain that you could ride with him or Kelce and then tomorrow the three of you would go into Rafe’s truck and Kelce could drive your car back to your house so you didnt have to worry about it.

You agreed eventually, going back into the room to say bye to Topper, kissing his cheek. “Hey, dont worry about me.Got it?If I find out you were worrying about me im gonna break all your flower pots.”He threatened, a small grin on his face.

You had decided to drive with Kelce, holding his hand as he drove on the wet roads.He was careful to drive slowly so he wouldnt freak you out, informing you that Rafe was going to go stop at a Papa Ginos to grab you guys dinner.

Your house felt foreign to you, the couch not comfy anymore.Kelce frowned, noticing your discomfort. The anxiety felt like it was eating away at your brain.Kelce tried to think of a way to help, the thoughts not coming so easy to him anymore.

The stress was building up inside of him, the stress from dealing with everyone elses problems combining with his own. “Come on.”He grabbed your hand, bringing you upstairs.

Your legs were tired from being held to your chest or bent at uncomfortable angles so you could lay in the hospital bed.He opened the door to your bedroom. “Lay down.”He told you, hoping his voice hadnt come across as creepy.

You raised your eyebrows, not understanding why he was telling you to do this but going along with it anyways.He got onto the bed next to you, wrapping an arm around your toso, one of his legs resting across your thighs with his head directly under your chin.

 “What are you doing?”You asked.You couldnt deny it, it was quite a comfortable position. “Im trying to help.I saw this thing on Tik Tok the other day that if you lay on someone its like a weighted blanket and helps with stress.”He explained, pulling your comforter up over your bodies.

It only took you a matter of seconds to fall asleep, Kelce grinning.The feeling of cuddling someone helped him too, a small sigh escaping his lips as he closed his eyes as well, falling asleep before Rafe pulled into your driveway with a pizza in the backseat.

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[not-from-the-absence-of-violence]

On assumptions, understanding, belonging and love.

Moments in Martin's journey understanding other people and finally himself.

or

Martin's journey in understanding, accepting and loving his asexuality.

a/n: some quick notes: Jon is sex repulsed, Martin is somewhere between neutral and favorable. While Tim and Sasha dont exactlty say they are aro they are! Jon is non-binary and uses he/they pronouns and i desperatly wanted to explore that but this is already twice as long than intended-

also while I am (half) Bolivian and speak spanish I am not at all fluent in Tamil so if there is any mistakes lmk! hope you all enjoy!

-------------------

Sasha had convinced them to go get drinks together, as it had been a rather stressful couple of weeks since Martin came back from the siege of his apartment by Jane Prentiss.

Sleeping in the archives was not exactly helping the situation for Martin, or Jon for that matter.

So they decided to go to a pub and try to force a sense of normality everyone really needed.

Martin was having a great time, with the relative calm and safety he hadn’t had in a while, even Jon had something like a smile playing on his lips as Tim told a story from one of his university mates that had accidentally thrown his roommate's engagement ring down a drain. 

Martin zoned out for a bit, enjoying the pleasant buzz of the alcohol and his friends laughter and Jon’s animated movements that indicated that he was talking about something he actually found interesting.

 Jon was apparently telling his own story with some relation to engagement, something about a girl at a wedding that had acted strangely, Martin caught something about “purposely spilling wine on her dress”, which Martin agreed was quite wierd. 

“She was totally trying to woo you, Jon.” Sasha said as Jon got to the bit where they had to help her find some clean towels in a storage closet. 

 “I assumed she was just having a rather hard time,” Jon said, seemingly only now thinking of the implications of spilling wine on your dress and then faking needing help, to be fair to Jon that was a very weird tactic to pull and Martin would not have put two and two together either.

“Well what did you do in that closet then?” Tim asked with an incredibly over the top suggestive look. 

Jon pulled a face then, Martin thought it looked rather endearing really with his nose all scrunched up and his eyes narrowed, but he was clearly uneasy. 

“I don’t- I don’t really do… that sort of thing.”

Martin snapped back in the moment, feeling a weird but familiar anxiety in his stomach as the conversation lulled. He felt rather protective for a moment, instinctively knowing this seemed important. This turned out to be rather unnecessary, as Tim spoke up again quickly.

“Oh,” He and then, earnestly, ”I didn’t mean to make you uncomfortable, Jon.” 

And then Jon smiled, properly, like he didn’t often and waved his hand dismissively but pleased.

“Thank you, well it's not like you could have known that, but anyway as I was saying-” 

 It was but a moment, but it stuck with Martin for a bit, mulling it over and not really understanding his own reaction.

 Eventually Martin settled back into the pleasant buzz, enjoying his friends chatter and Jon’s over exaggerated hand gestures.

-

It was an uncharacteristically slow day in the archives, not a worm in sight and Martin had only a bit of boring research to do for a very clearly fake statement.

Martin usually tried to be nice about it but this one featured a guy named “Richard Dickson” and was entirely about a fever dream someone had about a haunted accordion, he had listened to the recording that Jon had emailed him and it sounded like even he was having a very hard time trying not to laugh at it.

“Who comes up with this stuff?” Sasha said as she handed him back the statement. “Sure, I know we are being attacked by a worm woman but I really hope we can draw the line at haunted accordions that play spooky renditions of High School Musical and a prophetic dream guy called Dick Dickson.”

She was laughing too and Martin thought that she looked better than she had in awhile, it was nice, seeing her like this. 

“Well at least I won’t have to stay extra time for the research of this one, I would go home early but.” he shrugged and gestured in a you know the whole staying here cause of a worm woman situation, she gave him a sympathetic look.

“Well I am leaving early, got a very fun evening planned.” she said with a wink.

She had looked really rather excited and somewhat giddy all day, Martin realized. 

“Oh,” Martin said, “Who is the lucky person then?”

Sasha looked at him puzzled for a few seconds, slowly blinking at him, then the penny dropped.

“What? Oh no, I mean- Tim I guess, we usually have a sort of movie night every once in a while, this one is extra special though, because I found this book about the categorisation of demons, it’s partially in latin? Tim said he would help me look into it. ”

Martin felt his face heat up, feeling the urge to profusely apologize, Sasha continued however:

“It’s not like that though,” she said with a rather annoyed look, and then somewhat softer, “I am not really a dating kind of person, you know?”

Martin wasn’t sure he fully understood what she meant, but that was fine and she was clearly still very excited, so he relaxed.

“Sorry, shouldn’t have assumed, I do hope it’s not one of those books Jon goes on about, they aren't exactly...friendly.”

Her eyes lit up once again.

“Oh it's definitely not a Leitner! I do look out for that sort of thing, the interesting thing about the book is though-”

And she went on for a bit, the moment somewhat unimportant in a way but it still churned in Martin’s mind. 

-

Things with Sasha...shifted after the Jane Prentiss attack, everyone had different ways to cope with trauma of course, Martin knew that.

Maybe that was the thing really, while Tim, Jon and Martin himself were having a hard time processing (even if Tim and Jon refused to properly acknowledge it) Sasha seemed fine, a few weeks of being shaken maybe and she was now back to her regular old self. 

She even had a new boyfriend, Martin had no idea why that irked him so much.

He’d said as much to Tim, who was sitting next to him while both slacked off from their jobs on the stairs to the back courtyard of the institute (why there even was a courtyard was one of the great mysteries of this place).

Tim looked uncharacteristically solemn, seldom did he let his walls down like this. 

“I thought I was in love with her you know,” he said rather suddenly, “I mean we’ve been friends for years now and there was- is no one I would rather spend time with, so I mean if not her then- then who?”

He sighed and Martin made comforting noise, trying not to break whatever spell had made Tim genuinely speak about his feelings. 

“I mean I figured out I wasn’t in love with her before this whole...thing, we talked about it, I think? Some stuff is hazy. Just- I shouldn’t be jealous you know? She is allowed to have a boyfriend.”

“Your feelings are valid no matter what they are.” Martin said seriously.

Tim sighed and leaned into Martin, who enveloped him in his arms.

“Sure, doesn’t mean it doesn’t suck though.” 

And well there wasn’t much Martin could say about that.

After a bit of comfortable hugging silence Tim spoke up.

“Maybe her boyfriend is a vampire though, I totally get to be jealous about a vampire.”

“Tim don’t say that.” he said, trying to hide a smile. 

“What?” Tim said, pretending to be serious, “Everything is possible Martin, worm women and all that, I could obviously not compete with a vampire and their sexy glittering skin.”

Martin shook his head, not able to contain his laughter anymore.

“Can’t believe you are exposing yourself as someone who watched Twilight.” he said.

Tim smiled wickedly up at him from where he was still half cuddled into him.

“The fact that you got that reference exposes you in turn,” he said, sticking his tongue out, “Check mate.”

“Touché.” 

Then Tim stood up and said: 

“Well, Time to go back to our trans containment zone.”

“The fact that we just happen to be trans and were transferred to the archives is a coincidence.”

To that Tim only answered: “Trans-ferred Martin, can’t you see? You cannot call that a coincidence.” winked and back in through the door he went. 

Martin let out an exaggerated long suffering sigh.

Back inside they walked to their respective desks.

“Well lets hope work gets lets shit.” Tim said. “That’s such a low bar, and yet.”

“Paciencia y fé.” Martin said, which was in his repertoire of spanish phrases that just didn’t pack the same punch in english along with “ya pasara” and “digamos que si”.

Tim shrugged.

“Don’t think whatever grandmother made up that phrase could have imagined it being applied to our situation.”

“And yet we still have to hope for it to get better don’t we, see it works.”

Tim flashed him one last smile as he sat at his desk and Martin went to put on the kettle.

-

Martin had assumed Jon’s I-don’t-do-that-sort-of-thing included dating as well and it hadn’t bothered him really, he enjoyed clinging to his crush to Jon like a small steady comfort, even if he knew it wasn’t actually going to amount to anything, there was no harm in day dreaming after all and Martin was perfectly capable of caring about him as a friend too, it was harmless.

Of course the fact that he now knew Jon had been staying at his ex-girlfriends place and the fact that Jon might actually date people didn’t really change anything.

At least that is what Martin tried to tell himself as he shakily poured two cups of tea and mustered the courage to walk to Jon’s office. 

And he was at least a little right, even if Jon dated people, even if Jon would return his feelings (which Martin really did not let himself dwell on), these were particularly unfavourable circumstances to start a relationship, there was the matter that neither of them was able to string together a conversation, because the mundane ones sounded so inane and hollow and the important ones required being genuine and vulnerable and they might just be somewhat allergic to that. 

And there was the matter of the impending apocalypse they had to stop.

Martin knocked on the door and he heard a soft: “Come in, Martin.” from the other side of the door. 

The office was a mess as always and Jon looked like he hadn’t slept in a week and had aged about ten years in the last few months. 

But Martin’s breath caught in his throat anyway because, as was usual for Jon now, he also looked just a little more...comfortable, as you could anyway. They were wearing a hoodie with cats on it that was just slightly too big and a long flowy patterned skirt. 

Jon clearly caught martin staring because he ran his hand through his hair a bit self-consciously and said: “I know it goes against dress code, but I think you get a pass after you get kidnapped by an evil circus.” 

“Oh I mean, you look nice, I mean it looks nice on you. I didn’t mean to uhm, stare?”

“It was- I was just joking.”

“Oh.” 

They just stared at each other, painful silence falling over them. 

Jon broke the silence clearing their throat.

“So... you brought tea?” They said.

“Yeah, it's for you.” Martin said and immediately cringed because who else would he have brought Jon’s favorite chai exactly the way he always takes it.

Jon smiled though, reaching out to take the cup from him. Their hands brushed just a little and Martin's brain briefly shut down and he realised that maybe he should admit to himself he was really hopeless and too far gone.

That is though, how he ended up stupidly staring at Jon’s hands and how he spotted the shiny black ring on the middle finger of his right hand. 

“Thats a nice ring, don’t think I have ever seen you wear jewelry before.” 

That seemed to snap the tension out of the moment a little, Jon looked down at the ring and smiled a little.

“It's an ace ring,” they said, “I used to wear it a lot a while back, not sure why I fell out of the habit, but now I guess I think I am allowed whatever small comfort I can get.”

They were looking at the ring and then at Martin. 

Martin wanted to freeze the image right there, at the small not quite guilty smile Jon had as he looked up at him, at the feeling that things were OK, good even just for a bit.

Then something fell off Jon's desk and they both startled, flinching at the sudden loud noise. 

All the worry and tension flooded back into the room immediately.

“Right.” Jon said. “Did you need anything else?” 

Martin wasn’t sure how to even answer that.

So he just shook his head and started to leave.

Just before he was about to turn around Jon called his name, Martin turned around to face Jon that seemed to be fighting for the words he wanted to say.

“Yes, Jon?”

“Thank you.”

Martin smiled a sad smile.

“Anytime.”

-

It’t not that Martin had never heard the word asexual before, or that he didn’t know Jon was ace, he’d just never dwelled much on the actual meaning of it.

He had however never heard of ace rings before and he gave it a google for curiosity's sake. 

A black ring usually wore on the right middle finger to indicate the wearer is asexual (“ace”). 

It seemed nice to Martin, small token of your connection to a community, of course his curiosity did not end there, he had assumed previously Jon didn’t do relationships at all, and if he did, what did asexual mean then?

He found out rather quickly that asexuality was about sexual attraction, and aromantic was another thing all together, he also found out that asexuality didn’t mean a person couldn't have a libido, or like sex.

And maybe he just stood there staring at his laptop screen for a while knowing that sexual attraction had never really made sense to him, maybe it felt like something clicked.

And so knowing he definitely did not have the time or the emotional energy to deal with it he quickly closed his laptop, he had an apocalypse to stop and a boss to dispose of after all.

-

Martin was trying very hard to read Hija de la fortuna by Isabel Allende, every other sentence he sighed and grabbed his phone to look up a word the meaning of which he didn’t know.

It was frustrating, he once had been almost fluid in spanish as a child, but then his dad had left and his mother wasn’t able to and didn’t want to maintain his fluency. He hadn’t exactly had time or money for classes either and so now he attempted to regain some of it by watching movies and reading books.

It was not just the language of course that made it hard, Martin was so entirely full of worry. It was rare he got to spend a day in his flat these days, usually cooped up in the Institute hiding from something, or at the side of Jon's hospital bed talking to him, reading to him on occasion.

The anxiety, the fear, the pain, it had festered into Martin, the tiniest sounds made him jump and even when he got tiny little moments in which he wanted to, needed to, rest he still felt like a watched prey animal, or the full force of grief threatening to crush him.

Today he was just waiting for the other shoe to drop, nothing remarkable had happened in a handful of days and it made him uneasy, he was waiting for Melanie to call him about a new attack, he was waiting for Peter to summon him with a weird cryptic request. 

And you would think that with all this other worry he wouldn’t be fretting about his sexuality.

But apparently there was plenty of anxiety to go around for all the areas in his life and he just couldn’t get that moment, months ago now, out of his head.

He sighed at set the book aside, grabbing his phone and opening google.

He felt like he was 14 again asking his mother what gay meant and getting only a nasty look in return, or 17 and anxiously looking for a book about being trans in the library. 

It was silly to look it up and read articles about how to know you were ace, because he already knew somewhere, but he desperately needed the confirmation.

The third or so blog post he opened was about a woman in her 50’s that had recently figured out she was ace.

Its freeing  the article read it’s freeing to be who you are and to understand yourself better, even if you aren’t sure, its OK, it will be OK.

Martin was only crying a little, he laid down his phone and stared at the wall.

He thought about how he had never quite fit, he wasn’t quite english, not with the people asking him where he had come from or asking his mother as a child where she had gotten him from. He wasn’t Bolivian either, he had never been there, his spanish was limited, he could only cook about three and a half recipes that the internet had taught him.

He had never been a woman and he would never fit what society thought of as a man. And what that exactly meant for his relationships.

He never understood other people, but he never thought he was bad enough to seek help for it.

Sexual attraction was vague and he didn’t get it, but in the few relationships he had had in the past he hadn’t minded sex, he enjoyed watching a nice movie together just as much but there was a nicety to it, especially taking care of someone else, having them unravel infront of you. And he had found it weird that he didn’t want anything back, that he felt uncomfortable sometimes.

He imagined he meant he was wrong, like with everything else Martin Blackwood also couldn’t do that right. 

But maybe there was something here, in Martins corner of human experience, in the small stack of books about Bolivia that he read, in the trans pin on his backpack and patches he sewed onto his clothes, in calling himself gay man even if that didn’t cover the nuances because it felt good, in the chew necklace that hung around his neck because it eased his anxiety.

Just like all of those things, Martin was ace, he wasn’t wrong or broken he was just different and there were all those other people who were different too and it was nice. 

And Martin was crying because of the overwhelming sense of belonging, and because he finally understood Tim when he had once asked “But what does romance even mean, Martin?” and he would never get to tell him, because this is yet another thing he and Jon could have talked about if the world had been kinder to them, this is something he could be talking about to Jon if he wasn’t in a coma.

But even in these miserable circumstances Martin made sense to himself a little more and no one could take that away from him.

-

The past week in the safehouse had been a whirlwind of emotions, but both Jon and Martin were trying, trying hard to heal, to learn how to feel safe again, to love each other.

For all that trying they hadn’t talked about it much, it was hard still, but Martin was quietly holding on to the hope that they would get there.

Today had been quiet, with the biggest setback being that Jon had found it hard to find all the ingredients for the sambar he wanted to make for dinner. 

“I know it won't be like my Pāṭṭi (பாட்டி) taught me, but you would think they would at least have coconut.”

Martin found their grumpiness adorable, reveled in the mundaneness of this worry. And he hadn’t been able to contain his laughter when they finally had found coconut and Jon had held it up triumphantly.

The food had been delicious and now they sat on the couch, it was hard Martin craved touch so dearly but it was like stepping into hot water after standing on ice for a while and Jon flinched so often, not used to not being hurt and sometimes Martin’s unnaturally cold skin brought up unpleasant memories. 

They could have wallowed in guit and yearning, but they were both stubborn, and so even if it took a while and millions of slow movements and asking if something was OK they managed. 

So it was that Jon had his legs draped over Martin's lap, enough to bring comfort, not too much as to be overwhelming, and their hands were lightly on top of eachother.

Jon seemed pensive, but not worried, Martin shot him a questioning glance.

“We went at this in such a sideward way,” Jon said, “I mean we live together now but we haven’t really...talked about it. We never- we never asked?”

There was a beat of silence where Martin just looked at Jon and then a smile spread over Martin's face.

“Jonathan Sims do you want to ask me out?”

Jon averted their gaze in a way that meant even though Martin couldn’t see it they were definitely blushing.

Martin just couldn’t contain his delighted laughter.

“Must you laugh at me,” Jon said, faking offence, he was also smiling now.

A bit of seriousness returned to his voice as he spoke up again.

“I don’t care that we have done it all backwards Martin,” they said, “But, I love you.”

And as he said that Martin stared at him, mouth agape and his heart thundering in his chest, he lost his ability in any language. Jon said it firmly and securely and Martin really didn’t know what he was supposed to do with all the feelings he had, Jon continued however. 

“And we don’t have to do anything but it just feels like we are dancing around several conver- Martin? Are you alright?”

It was only then Martin realised he was crying and he could only ask:

“You love me?” 

Not because he didn’t know, but because sometimes you just need the confirmation.

Jon squeezed his hand gently.

“Of course I do.”

Martin wanted so badly to answer him, to reproach but he couldn’t, not yet, instead he blurted.

“May I kiss you?”

Jon smiled, a tad nervously.

“That's sort of what I wanted to talk about,” they said, “boundaries?”

Martin understood the necessity of such conversations he really did, but it did not mean he was going to enjoy them.

It did come as a surprise however that Jon suddenly got very nervous and said.

“I mean- I just- I am ace, Martin.”

Martin cokced his head in confusion and said:

“Yeah, I know.”

Jon mirrored his confused look.

“You do?” and then more sour, “You listened to the tape?”

And fine Martin admitted to himself, maybe they should talk more.

“No? You told me, like ages ago.”

Jon laughed, relieved, happy.

“Sorry,” he said, “Ironically my memory is foggy. It has been a rough couple of...years.”

Martin hummed something of affirmation, because he also knew this seemed like a nice moment to come out, and he felt the very familiar anxiety in his belly. Idiotic anxiety because Jon was also ace and there were no stakes in this situation at all. 

Maybe it was just the fact that he had never said it aloud.

Martin heard himself speak:

“I think I am too,” and he could hear how stupidly nervous he sounded, “ace, I mean.”

There was a vague ringing in his ear and if he had been in the position to he might have just run out of the room, apparently facing down unknowable monsters didn’t make coming out easier.

His fear was cut down by the fact that Jon was absolutely beaming at him.

“That's great!” they said, “I mean not that I would have minded if- but it is nice to have someone understand, that's all.”

It was, it was amazing to have Jon here smiling up at him holding his hand and understanding him.

“It really is,” Martin said, then gently bringing the back of Jon’s hand to his cheek and leaning into it, “Doesn’t mean we don’t have to talk boundaries though.” 

Jon smiled at the small gesture and then said serious:

“I don’t want to have sex, ever.” 

Martin knew it sounded like people had tried to debate them on it before and it made his chest ache.

“I know,” he answered and then because honesty was key, “I am not adverse to it, but obviously if you don’t want to, we won’t, ever.”

Jon sat up a bit then, lifting his hand from Martins and gently cupping his cheek. Martin's pulse quickened, his hand moving almost automatically to Jon’s arm.

“How do you feel about kissing?” he asked.

“It's nice,” Jon said, smiling a bit cheekily leaning forward,  “So long as it isn’t tongue kissing that is.”

Martin leaned forward until their breaths mingled at their lips where all but touching.

“May I kiss you then?” He asked, breathless.

Jon could only nod and they both leaned forward the last inch.

Time must have stopped for a bit as they kissed, gentle and full of a thousand promises. 

They both moved away from the kiss gently, they were both tearing up a little, Martin felt so much so strongly and he pulled away from Jon completely.

“Just need a moment.” he said and smiled at Jon's reassuringly if a bit shaky. 

“Take all the time you need,” Jon said and then softer, “Anything you need.”

And Martin was sure he had never loved anyone more. 

-

On the fourth day of their third week in Scotland Jon had gone to run some errands in town and had come back with an incredibly nervous air about him they were sitting across from Martin at the table twirling their hair and checking his pocket every once in a while.

It was making Martin incredibly antsy and by the third time Jon had looked like he wanted to say something only to then go back to the crossword he was definitely making no progress on Martin had had enough.

“Sol mio,” Martin said, very much enjoying Jon’s wide eyed flustered he always got when Martin called him pet names. “Will you please tell me what is wrong.”

Jon looked at him sheepishly.

“There is not something wrong, per se.”

Martin gave him a look.

Jon sighed and stood up, grabbing a small box from his pocket. 

“Nothing is wrong I just… bought something for you beloved.”

Martin very nearly had a heart attack when Jon opened the box and there was a ring inside. Upon closer inspection it was a beautiful black ring and Martin understood. 

There was silence as Martin could do no more but stare at the ring and then at Jon.

“I see how a ring might come over as a gift now,” Jon rambled nervously, “it is not like that- I mean that is something we will have to talk about. I was afraid it would be too much? It is engraved too and I just hope I didn’t-”

Martin cut him off: “Jon let me see it properly.” 

Jon handed him the ring.

Martin lifted the ring out of the box and saw the engraving on it.

 நான் உன்னைக் காதலிக்கிறேன். I love you. Te amo.

Martin promptly sat down again, it was so sappy, just a tad ridiculous and stupidly cute. It hurt in his chest and tears stung in his eyes.

“How did you know I wanted one?” he asked, because he didn't know what else to say.

Jon rubbed the back of his neck self consciously and said:

“You were talking a few days ago, about how you would like something like a- like a token, to remind you and I thought an ace ring might be nice.” 

They lifted their right hand.

“We match now.” 

Martin silently moved to put the ring on, it fit perfectly. He ran his fingers over the tiny groves of the words on it. 

An anchor. 

A small reminder that he belonged, here in the world, here with Jon. 

Martin stood up and gently enveloped Jon in a hug.

“Thank you,” he murmured into Jons hair as he placed a small kiss on top of their crown. “It’s perfect.”

#jonmartin #ace!jon #ace!martin #the magnus archives #tma #magpod #trans!martin #trans!jon #the whole thing is incredibly self indulgent #magnus archives fic #ao3 link will be in rb ig #jonathan sims #martin blackwood #tim stoker #sasha james #my writing

[another-stark-sub]

Vanilla sex with cock warming and sweets? :) Love your writing

Sweetness? Oh some tooth rotting fluffy smut, i love that. 18+ content ahead with some cockwarming!

Tony and you havent had sex. Its crazy, because everyone assumes you had. Its Tony Stark. This man, at a time, was seen going home with a different person twice a day.

And you, his first long-time girlfriend, most assumed you guys had sex either the first night or at least within the first month of dating.

But nope. Its been five months since you were officially together and almost two years of knowing each other, and no sex

Its not like you havent tried! One of you wasnt ready for sex yet. And heavy makeouts are just interrupted sometimes, and bu five months, it just hadnt happened.

And every time you tried, he would push you away or make an excuse.

"I'm sorry, I just have a lot on my mind tonight. With the whole... you know, thing and all."

"I just got out of the lab, honey. I am not making out with you with grease on my fingers."

"Would love to, but I just got an amazing idea. I need to write it down before it escapes."

... maybe it was you. Maybe he just didnt find you sexy.

And you thought, fuck that. You could make yourself look at least somewhat similar to the women he used to take home!

Makeup that slimmed down your cheeks, overly sexy lingerie you only see in pornos, high heels you def could not walk in

When he saw you in all of that, he would have to feel something!

So you waited for him on your bed, posed like something out of a magazine. It was uncomfortable and the lingerie was itchy, and you werent a big fan.

But if your boyfriend could finally look at you as sexy, maybe it was worth it.

Before you could doubt your plans even more, he had arrived.

The silence was so fucking dreadful.

"Hi," you said.

Tony cleared his throat. "Hi, honey. Whats this?"

You shrugged. "Just something I put on." You tried to smile. "Like it?"

He hesitated. He fucking hesitated, and shame immediately swallowed you whole. He didnt like it.

"Hey, no, babe." He sat on the bed and higged you close. "No, it's ok."

"You don't like it." It was harder to breathe, and it took you a second to realize you were crying. "I tried very hard."

"Hey, look at me."

You sniffed and looked up at him.

He smiled and wiped your tears. "I love you. And I think you look hot in anything."

"Just not this?"

"I could." He laughed. "This just isnt you. I mean, you look uncomfortable." He brushed your hair back. "You remember yesterday, when you wore the cute little sundress?"

You nodded. "I love that dress."

"That was fucking sexy!" Tony smiled. "You were so happy and confident. You were you. This" -he motioned to your ensemble- "it isnt even your favorite color."

You laughed. "These high are pinching my toes.

"Fuck the heels." He leaned over to pull them off your feet.

You snuggled into his chest and asked, "Tony, why havent you... you know?"

He sighed. "Sex, right?"

You nodded. "I thought you just didn't find me sexy."

"Definitely not it." He took a deep breath. "I was scared. Probably something about sex leads to leaving which leads to nothing. Something about not wanting that to happen with us."

You traced patterns on his hands. "I wouldnt do that."

"I know. I get in my own head sometimes too."

"Then, how bout this?" You looked at him and smiled. "We just tell each other next time. Instead of hiding our feelings?"

Your boyfriend hummed. Then, he kissed you. "I like that idea very much."

"Good." You kissed him and whispered againts his lips, "Then can I be honest to you right now?"

"Yes?"

"I really really hate my makeup. Its all caked all over my face and neck."

He laughed. "Ok, but i have something to tell you, too." Tony kissed you again. "I really really wanna fuck you into the bed."

You laughed. "Really?"

"Yeah, really." He kissed your nose. "Wait here. I'll be back in a second."

He leapt off the ned and into the bathroom, leaving you giggling. He came back with makeup remover and with only his underwear. The too tight briefs that he hated.

You sputtered out laughing. "What are you doing?"

"It's only fair." Tony tpok his place next to you and started by removing your false lashes. You kept making silly faces at him.

"Stop that."

You only laughed. "I love you."

"Love you, too." He tried wiping away your eye makeup. It only smudged it. "You raccoon."

The two of you laughed. He said something about inventing a gentler and more effective makeup remover. You said something about your favorite brands. He said something about the science behind it all.

All the while, the two of you snuck in kisses on the cheek, neck, lips.

And when all the makeup was off, Tony couldnt help but smile and stare. "You're so beautiful."

You teased, "Says People's Sexiest Man of 2012."

"Mm, and how could be more deserving of him than the most beaufiful woman to ever live." He leaned in close, and when his lips touched yours, you fully relaxed against him and let him lead you.

Tony kissed you hard so that you could comfortably lay back on the bed. He settled between your legs, and before he went any further, he asked, "Mind if I take off that uncomfortable bra?"

"Mind? Please do."

He laughed and as he kissed you, he wasted no time in taking it off. His hands hesitated when they reached your underwear, but you put your hands over his and helped him take it off.

You tugged on his briefs, a question, and he answered by saying, "Please."

You hurriedly took if off, and when he ground his bare hips againts your, both of you moaned.

"Are you ready for me?" he asked.

You looked down, and the only thing that left your mouth was, "Oh god."

Tony raised his eyebrow and looked to where you were looking at. He laughed. "Sweetheart, thats just my cock. Not god."

You smacked his chest. "Fuck you."

"Thats the point, sweetheart."

Before you could say anything, he kissed you, making you yelp. Still you kissed back, and when his fingers started rubbing your clit, you gasped and looked down.

All you could see was your man smiling like he had won the lottery. "That's more like it." He stroked your cheek, a distraction to him shoving two fingers into your cunt.

You yelped again and bucked against his hand. It felt so good, and he kept curling his fingers to rub your g spot over and over.

"You look so beautiful when youre being fingerfucked, honey." He kissed your cheek, and you groaned. You pulled him down so you could kiss him properly.

And when you pulled away, you demanded, "Fuck me."

Tony smiled. "Cant say no to that, huh?" He lined himself up, and before he slid home, he kissed your forehead. "I love you."

You laughed. "I love y-Ou! Oh god. Tony, fuck."

He laughed. "Now that was the best thing I've ever heard."

He thrusted in and out, and the two of you became a moaning mess. Writhing in pleasure and lost in each others lips.

It didnt take long for him to find the right angle to fuck you, and after that, every thrust forced a whine from your lips, and it gave both of you a new high that only inched you closer to orgasm

And when you came and squeezed Tony's cock, he came too.

Even as the two of you started to come down from your highs, you kept rutting into each other, milking every bit of pleasure you could.

For a few amazing moments, it was just you and him.

Suddenly, Tony hugged you close and flipped you over so you were on top.

"Oh!"

He laughed. "I just dont wanna crush you."

You smiled. "Thank you. It was very considerate of you." You kissed him and snuggled into him. "Can we stay here forever?"

Tony hummed and stroked your hair. "You ok with me keeping my cock in you?"

You nodded. "I like feeling this close to you." You wiggled your hips, causing Tony to groan. You sighed. "I like feeling full."

"Good." He wrapped his arms around you. "Cause Im not letting you go."

#smutty saturday #tony stark x reader #tony stark smut #tony stark headcanons #tony stark imagine #mcu smut #mcu headcanons #mcu x reader #mcu imagine

[holycalf]

i started watching sku bc of your blog (and i really enjoy it!) but i dont get why you seem to like shiori but not ruka....i mean it seems like his intentions were a lot better than hers ever were tbfh am i missing something? not saying he went about things GREAT but....at least he actually seemed to care. shiori was just a bitch for the sake of being a bitch it seemed like...

hi! im glad ure enjoying it! it can definitely be a lot at times, and i think the first 12 eps can rub ppl the wrong way so props to u for getting thru those (even tho i liked em :) ) this is gonna be long so if u feel like reading an essay feel free to read under the cut

um.. i dont really know where to begin tbh? i mean you cant really talk about any of these characters without talking abt the other two so.... this is gonna be long.

so lets take shiori, who has a very classic case of internalized homophobia. which is confirmed by ikuhahras outtake on ep. 17 which states the following

 “I finally realized the truth. To think that she loved me back! What a miracle! But...‘The loser in love is the one who lets their heart be ruled by it.’Everyone's adopted a provocative attitude toward someone of the opposite sex that they like at least once or twice, to get that person to notice them. So it's okay if I do that.This love will crumble if we touch. But when people don't touch, the love eventually dies away .That's why I decided to keep your love prisoner. To make sure that you love me forever. That game will make our love ‘eternal.’ I'm sure of it.We were ‘lovers lost from the beginning.”

so shioris in love with juri. im not sure if thats something u caught onto or not but its definitely the quintessence of her character, and needs to be considered when we consider her against ruka- since its a shared affection. also, i just like shiori, i dont necessarily think shes GOOD i just enjoy watching her and she feels very raw. shiori has a crippling inferiority complex, you can even tell through off handed conversations with her friends in hallways she exaggerates her stories to be more liked. juri is someone who has things come easy to her, and doesnt even really seem to care or notice. in the shows canon shes: liked by the student body, liked by teachers, admired by men (and girls too), academically inclined, good at bowling, captain of fencing club (and likely the most talented duelist- since shes the only one utena never properly beats) and a MODEL?????????? and shiori, at least in her own eyes, is painfully mundane. growing up next to someone who seems to have everything go in their favor, all of the while youre harboring having feelings for them (and jealous that youre among SO many suitors) is so frustrating! especially when you dont believe to have any at all. the elevator sequence when she discovers juris locket is a bit of a power trip for shiori, and also just a sort of confusion. shioris “why do you look at me like that?!” when she considers juri mid breakdown is a clear reflection of her own confusion, she may as well be saying “how could you possibly love me?”...but that was the black rose arc which all got undone anyways- so by the time we see shiori ruka arc she doesnt even know juris got the hots for her. when she first sees ruka, shes staring at juri first and only zeroes in on ruka once she hears people talking abt him. she takes ruka the same way she did that boy in middle school because he seems to be something coveted by the girls around her, its a very closeted gay girl move to decide to go for a boy just because other girls are into him... and it definitely helps that hes in such close contact w juri...he could easily be the one stored in that locket of hers, so why not take him? 

so then we have ruka, who the entire time we watch him is smug, condescending, and genuinely one of the most unpleasant characters on the show. by the end we learn hes in love with juri, so maybe this persona was embellished to push her towards revolution to “free her from shiori” or whatever but.... sorry i dont care LOL! the way he treated shiori ALONE was enough for me to dislike him, there was NO need to tear apart and embarrass the girl like that. he took clear advantage of her crush on juri. his locker is seen right next to juris, and shiori is pressed up against one of the two lockers, but we arent shown which,  “after all, that wasnt my sword,”....he knows shiori has been going to juris locker (and potentially polishing her sword but who knows. all we know is that she goes to juris locker.) and it is later revealed hes extra certain of her feelings because upon publically dumping her (another dick move) we hear her kinda stutter “I love you more than.... I love you more than anyone else” shes clearly beating around a bush because theyre in public, hes pinpointed she and juri are both into eachother, and instead of being a normal ass guy about it and just SETTING THEM UP and telling them to work their stuff out he chooses to, “out of love”  assault juri, emotionally manipulates the girl juri is in love with,  then inadvertantly cause juris locket to break which upsets her so deeply she forfeits her duel with utena. and upon that locket breaking he has the AUDACITY to think hes somehow freed her from something... when the girl is breaking down crying in the rain (the first and only time we ever see juri cry...even if its implied she does it in the shower that one time lol).......then just???dies??? like all he does in his time on the show is cause problems and die, all because he couldnt get over his feelings for a lesbian.... it just feels SO gross to me that he hides his assault and general abuse (can we talk abt how he likely took shioris virginity, JUST to break her down???) behind some icky hero complex

PLUS we see shiori at the end of that episode realize shes in that locket while juri is dueling, and we see her run up to juri at the end of the ep and it doesnt look malicious, it feels very...resolutiony? esp when you put it next to the miki/kozue closing scene of their car arc duel, which is explicitly bad terms, this feels more hopefully....suggesting some part of shiori has at least changed. ruka never got that luxury, he completely exploited two girls in order to add dramatic flare to his last few days and felt valid in doing so..... shiori never seemed to think her actions were JUSTIFIED.....which is sort of the point of the black rose arc where shiori is arguably at her worst........... the very ugliest part of ppl are brought out in those elevator sessions so thats what we see of shiori? 

sorry for the essay!! but i hope this helps and make sense :-) feel free to ask any more questions u have abt the show, and i hope u continue enjoying it! im assuming ure still watching it, i dont know how far u are but if u JUST finished 29 then that means ure getting to some of my fave episodes! (33,37,39 :) ) 

tl,dr: shiori never assaulted anyone

[dadzawa-adopt-dabi]

Learn some dam self care Keigo.

Dabi has noticed Keigo getting tired.

"What's the matter? Don't they don't give you Heroes breaks?" He mocks to cover up the sliver of concern.

"Not me." Is the short and bitter response. Its genuine for once.

Dabi puts off the next meeting for a few days to try and give him a break. Spying and working double shifts nearly everyday is obviously leaving the Hero with little time to rest. He’s not worried, really he isn’t, but Keigo may have stumbled a few times last meeting. He caught himself and didn't appear drunk wich leaves exhaustion.

When he messages the hero again it's just to tell him the next meeting time and location. Hopefully the dumb bird has rested up and they can get back to exchanging information.

Dabi ends up running a little late again. Toga wouldn't leave him alone about meeting Hawks and he had to shake her loose before he came to see him.

Keigo is curled into the corner of a sofa and is folded into his wings when Dabi walks into the warehouse.

"No greeting birdy? And after i let you have time off" Dabi notices that Keigo actually dosnt look much better than he had a couple days ago. He makes a note to check social media and see if Hawks had been pulling double shifts the entire time.

"It's fucking cold. Let's just get on with this." Keigo grumbles from inside the cocoon of his wings. He sits himself up straighter but keeps his wings around himself as a makeshift blanket.

It's about 20 minutes into the conversation before Keigo stops talking midsentence. A few moments later he falls forward and Dabi rushes to catch him.

That's it. Its officially intervention time. Keigo is obviously being overworked. He had stopped talking at several points in the meeting, loosing his train of thought or dozing off before jolting himself awake. He's looked him up on his phone while Keigo was struggling to stay awake and Keigo hasn't had a night or day off in weeks. Its past a burnout pace.

So it's not a complete surprise when he finally gives up and falls asleep.

Dabi calls Kuroguri and tells him to pick him up and prepare for a guest as Keigo struggles to wake up again. Keigo is mumbling at him and trying to stand but stumbling, so Dabi walks him straight back into the opening warp gate.

"Your meeting the boss. Oh and I'm kidnapping you until further notice." Dabi casually states and follows after him to see Shigaraki steadying him on the otherside. He had on his gloves he usually used for gaming and was scowling at Dabi already. Kuroguri had warped them right into the living room.

This is going to cause shenanigans and Shig knows it.

"Is he drunk? He can't even stand. What are you doing bringing him here right now?" Shigaraki let Keigo go when he tried to jerk out of his hold.

"I- I'm too- I can't, Dabi?" Keigo mumbled and moves toward Dabi.

"It's fine Keigo. Shig is just concerned. It's fine he's got his gloves on." Dabi muttered to the tired bird and put a hand on his shoulder.

"Is he drunk or what?" Shigaraki hovered nearby.

"Remember how I was saying the Hero commission was pushing him too hard? He's not drunk, just sleep deprived and exhausted. So I kidnapped him"

Shigaraki scratched at his neck.

"Is he always like this? Is there anyone coming to look after him?"

"Not as far as I know. Hey Magne can you start a bath? He's pretty cold." Dabi started leading Keigo down the hallway.

Toga appeared at his elbow and got a good look at Keigo.

"He can use one of my bath bombs. He looks like he needs some self care."

" You can lecture him on self care when he wakes up later." He continued supporting Keigo and was guiding him down the hall to the bath.

" Can you make sure he stays upright in the bath?" Shigaraki asked Shuichi in the corner.

Shuichi hoped up passing his game to Shig to save for him.

"I can bath myself." Keigo insisted and pulled away from Dabi. Waking up a little bit more. He stumbled again and leaned against the wall.

"This really isn't necessary, I appreciate it, but this happens all the time."

Shuichi grabbed his hands and pulled him upright causing a glove to slip off.

"Shouldn't happen at all" muttered a concered Kuroguri from the kitchen as Shuichi made a choked sound.

Keigo snatched his glove back and shoved it on.

"Fuck that's gotta hurt dude, no need to hide those here. I've got mine long. No one cares if I cut them or not bro" Spinner spread his hands out to show Keigo the talons Magne and Toga had painted just a few days ago.

He took Keigo's other hand and tugged off the glove. Keigo's nails revealed as talons clipped short and frayed.

"Dabi can keep watch." Keigo muttered. If this was going to be how he met the rest of the LoV it was better the devil he knew with him while he was vunerable.

Dabi wheezed behind him and coughed to clear his chest.

"Not a good idea" he coughed out.

"No he can not. He would be useless" Shig said while trying not to laugh.

"The hell you all standing around talking for? Let's get bird boi bathed changed and in bed. Not Dabi's bed. They're still not at that point evidently" Magne stated.

"I'm not a child. And I have patrol in 3 hours. I can't just skip." Keigo followed anyways. Sleep sounded so nice and technically he was still spying while he was here.

"Stage one kidnapping and get Kuroguri on a soapbox for Hero treatment and schedules. Got it." Sako grinned.

"You better give me that soapbox. First Shouta now this young man. I've got quite a bit to say to society on how much they demand from heros." Kuroguri appeared to be writing a speech already.

"I'm here so how are you going to fake a kidnapping?" Keigo was really getting tempted by the idea of that rest. Why the hell was the LoV so nice? Maybe if he asked Dabi would dry his feathers off for him?

Too nice. All this sounded too good to be true.

"Magicians never reveal there secrets"

"Wouldnt you like to know feather boi?" Toga cackled as she reappeared with gold and pink bathbombs.

"Keep your secrets then. Also thank you Toga I've been wanting to try these." Fuck it Keigo decided. He was tired and could spy properly when he more rested. This was somehow nothing what he expected the LoV to be and everything Dabi had implied they were for him.

"We are talking about whatever the hell these guys think is going on when I wake up" Keigo took the bathbombs and followed after Shuichi. Only bumping into the wall a few times.

Keigo only nodded off in the bath once and Shuichi threw a rubber duck at him when he did.

"What else does the Hero concil have you hide?" Shuichi asked trying to keep Keigo talking and awake.

"Um I have a 3rd eyelid my visor obscures? My talons are actually my fault at this point. I have to regularly clean and straighten my feathers or use them all up. They are a lot of maintenance but most of its second nature at this point." Keigo stuttered in some parts.

"Eye markings?" That's something Shuichi was actually curious about.

"Not makeup. Most people just assume its eyeliner but I was born with them." Keigo finished rinsing out his hair and held out a hand for a towel.

"Cool. Dabi thought so but I totally thought it was eyeliner."

"How often does Dabi talk about me?" Keigo shrugged into some sweats and a shirt that had a deep v already cut for his wings. That was thoughtful.

"He talks about you a lot."

"Does he like me or something? Do you think he would mind helping me dry out my wings? I dont want to annoy him" Keigo went to leave.

"How are both of you this clueless? You are literally wearing his sweats. Yes he would help you with your wings. we all would if he would challenge us to a pvp for the honor." Shuichi facepalmed.

"They kinda suck though, and make people uncomfortable. My feathers are basically a bunch of knives. Maybe Toga wouldnt mind? She likes knives" He muttered and shuffled towards the room he came into. There had been a couch and he could always use his wings as a blanket. Wet or not he would pass out almost immediately.

"I've never seen Toga and Dabi fight yet and I am not eager to see it now." Shuichi nudged him towards a diffrent room.

"Your rooms over here."

"I have a room?" It was probably because he was so tired but Keigo started crying. They were so nice to him already.

"DABI, your bird is crying. Come fix him." Shuichi yelled towards the main room.

There was some cussing heard and a few seconds later Dabi was beside him.

"Why you crying pretty bird?"

"I'm mostly just tired but you guys have been so nice! I have a own room already and you kidnapped me and my shirt has holes cut and no one minds my talons." Keigo babbles and leans forward until his head is resting on Dabi's shoulder.

"Well yeah, as soon as I started talking about you seriously joining us Shig set you up a room. The sweats and sleep and acceptance is just basic decency. Let's get you in bed." Dabi led him in the rest of the way.

"Wait can you dry my wings? They're wet and gross and Spinner said you wouldn't mind? I promise they won't cut you." Keigo muttered. Dabi would probably say no but he was too tired to detach them all and spin them around until they dried.

"Sure. Go to sleep already birdy."

Keigo finally got to sleep knowing it would be for more than a couple hours. Dabi running his heated hands through his wings was definitely something he was going to ask for again.

Fuck the commission he was staying here. Maybe Toga could give him a face mask next time.

#dabihawks #LoV as family #takami keigo #bnha dabi #shigaraki tomura #leauge of villians #mha #bnha #bnha hawks #thedarkonewrites #still not satisfied #no more deleting #very keigo centric #gah

[angstymdzsthoughts]

Ignorance is a bliss

Imagine if “come to gusu with me” ends up with wwx passed out of exhaustion before he could reject the offer. Lwj did brought him to gusu and under the jurisdiction of the elders, after wwx is nursed back to health, his demonic cultivation must be sealed and he must received say maybe 15 lashes as punishment for straying off the righteous path before were sent to seclusion with lwj so that wwx will finally be ‘cleansed’. Wwx wasnt happy ofc but what he could do with his powers are sealed away? Now , 5 strokes of discipline whip may cause a cultivator bedridden for months, how about to a non cultivator ? It must affect them severely so that is why discipline whip can never be used to a non cultivator. Lwj was forced to a house arrest guarded by three disciples due to him trying to (forcefully) persuade the elders to not hurt wwx. Lwj never thought that the elders were so hell bent on punishing wwx , where he promised wwx that gusu will be his safe haven (oh lwj, ignorance is a bliss).

The elders of Lan assumed that wwx’s core is still intact but maybe diminished due to demotic cultivation. So they still proceeded with the punishment. But halfway through the session, wwx lose consciousness and healers were called to heal him so that they could finish the punishment.However, upon trying to heal him , the healers discovered that wwx does not have a golden core. Lxc was horrified and ultimately barked an order to bring wwx to the sect’s infirmary to put him to rest. Glaring at lqr and the elders , he told them if wwx did not survive the ordeal , they would have become a murderer.

Lwj was devastated on the state wwx in. Wwx had a bad fever due to infection despite how hard the healers were trying to use medication. Bandages were changed thrice a day to ensure the infection does not spread to other parts of body. Wwx never gained consciousness for 3 months. He was delirious in fever as his health rapidly declining over the days. Healers concluded that wwx may not he able to perform his daily routine without help as the whip has cause major backlash on his physical and mental health.

After a discussion, the lans decided to finally informed the jiang sects of the situation wwx was in. JC was on his way when wwx woke up. Wwx was in confusion and struggling to get out of his bed. Lxc and lwj had to restrain him to ensure he doesn’t hurt himself. The last thing wwx remembered that his back and legs were excruciating painful and people in white robes are the cause of it.Paranoia settles in him causing wwx to be on alert every second and never utter a single word after waking up, not even to lwj. For wwx, lwj has brought him to gusu because he hated wwx so much that he let those people hurt him. He was betrayed.

Although he was reluctant at first, he forced himself to eat to regained his strength and escape this hell. When the jc arrives at gusu with a group of disciples , lxc and the elders met them at the entrance leaving lwj and wwx alone at the room. Wwx for the first time spoke to lwj, requesting for a new change of robe. “I just dont want anyone to see me in this dirty robe” . Lwj acquiesced.

When lwj came back with new set of fresh robes and a basin of hot water , wwx was gone. Due to the envoy from Jiang sect , the entrance was not guarded as usual and wwx miraculously managed to flee gusu. Wwx put his guard up even he has successfully escape and ran to the most secluded part of Caiyi town. After resting for few hours and after the adrenaline was gone ,wwx realised that he was severely injured and crippled. His left leg cannot be bend without causing painful jolt like feeling. Him running all the way from gusu to caiyi with a bleeding back and hurting leg was indeed a miracle. Now , if walking was painful , then running was courting death. With careful planning using his survival skills and experience , wwx continues his painstaking slow journey and enters a forest , opposite direction of gusu and lotus pier. Wwx was last seen by a fruit vendor of Caiyi Town ; limping away without a trace.

Lwj without a doubt used an inquiry to find wwx , but wwx was an ambitious lad. Wwx somehow managed to create a talisman that can hide his presence even to spirits. Jc has issued posters all over the place , in hopes that someone might give an intel for him to find his brother but to no avail , no one has a clue of where wwx has been gone to. Wwx - like a ghost , has disappeared . JYL and JXZ was also at deeps end, unable to trace her missing brother. Other major sects also keep an eye for wwx, though the Lan clan has claimed that wwx’s demonic cultivation was sealed and was severly injured, who knows what can that young man do ?

Timeskip to 13 years later, JL LJY and LSZ (assuming that the siege never happened, but lwj adopted a-yuan as per requested by wq and wn to ensure he was raised at a proper & healthy background and the wen remnants survived and disperse for safety) was attacked at goddess temple only to be saved by a mystery crippled guy with mask (JL: a non cultivator nonetheless!) (LJY: what an amazing talent ! Only using talisman to beat the statue!). The teenagers were awestruck with the masked man’s skill, that they wanted to thanked him with a meal and few drinks but was rejected and the man leaves.

JL who never accepts no for an answers suggest to secretly follows the man so that they can send drinks or some offering for him to his house instead. Ljy and Lsz tagged along as they were curious of their saviour after all. A non cultivator cannot detect presence like a cultivator do, so the man was unaware that he was tailed. Upon arriving an old shack with a small potato farm , the man limped and sat with a grunt. Taking off his mask , he took a bottle of water and consumed a few concoction of medicine before coughing. The teenagers was surprised on the living condition of their saviour. JL however upon seeing the face of the man, went wide eyes.

“That man, he was in the poster my jiujiu used to issue around LP . My A-niang talks about him a lot,” looking over his other two confused companions. “I can never forget that face. The face that always make my mother cry upon looking at his picture and frown at his name. He is my missing big uncle , Wei Wuxian of Jiang Sect.”

“Ah i heard about him. Apparently our Elders punished him until he was missing his golden core , i think? Or is it the other way around?” Ljy spoke. “But i think the limping was the consequences from our Sects’ punishment. That time , Lan sect and Jiang Sect almost broke the treaty. I heard Madame Jiang managed to convinced your uncle to stop”.

They saw the man plowing a part of his potato field ,who occasionally stopped due to his heavy cough and resume his work. “Wwx , he is the person my father has been looking for the past 13 years. I need to let him know” Lsz finally spoke, smiling.

“Oh my potatoes , I hope you grew up fat and yummy for this master over here! I need more money , or i wont be able to buy medicine. You dont want me to die yet are you~” sang wwx. The 3 looked at each other and finally decides to leave for their respective inn, bringing a joyous news for their leaders.

Next day, both JC and lwj accompanied by the 3 went to wwx’s house. Both heartbroken on the state of the old shack . Knocking the wooden door and clearly listening on the voice mumbling from inside “who the hell would come here early in the morning at middle of a forest”, jc and lwj was shocked on the physical appearance of their missing person. Sunken cheeks and dark eyes as indication of fatigue , limping , voice hoarse from sickness and the obvious whipping scars marring from behind his neck to under the ragged clothes , jc couldnt help but to greet wwx with a hug , holding him so gentle in fear that wwx would break with the slightest of strength. Wwx frozen in shock couldnt hug back but made eye contact with lwj. “Weiying, please forgive me that I couldn’t protect you. I am very sorry.” After 13 years of internal pain and agony , wwx for the first time shed his tears . “I forgive you , so you all should leave me alone. I am a burden. Im no longer a cultivator , but a crippled man with not much time to left. I am nothing but a burden. Please” sobbed wwx.

“Idiot. Give us a chance to take care of you. A-jie misses you so much, every day and night. You haven’t met your nephew , Jing Ling . Don’t you want to eat her soup? And about your health, i can call WenQing to help you. She is still the best doctor alive. Come back with us , okay ? And no one will hurt you. “ jc.

Wwx was shocked to hear wq was still alive and her name was spoken by jc without an ounce of hatred. What have been happening for the past few years he have been isolating himself ? With shaking hands , he grabbed jc’s robe and nodded. He made another eye contact with lwj and could see how sincere he is from his eyes. Maybe , all this time , the fact that lwj hates me and sending me to my demise was all a misunderstanding?

“I am no more a cultivator.”

“It’s fine , WeiYing”

“I cannot contribute to Jiang sect anymore.”

“Who cares about that, idiot?”

“I’m going to be a burden !!! I cant even walk properly. My health is deteriorating”

“WeiYing, if tired , I can carry. Let me take care of you when sick”

“Lan Zhan, i dont want to go to gusu”

“We can go anywhere other than Gusu.”

“I wont let you take a single step to that damn place , no offence Second Young master Lan”

“None taken.”

———

(Alternate ending)

Wwx was still unconscious and attacked by a high fever due to infection in his wound. Numerous method has been used to mitigate the after effect of the whip , but to no avail. Infection starts to spread to his legs, and wwx was delirious and moaning in his sleep due to pain. The severity of the wound caused both of his legs to sepsis and the healers has no other way than to amputate the legs to make sure that the infection will not spread internally.

After the surgery of removing wwx’s legs , the infection are able to be minimised but still needs to be monitored. Still, wwx has no signs of waking up. Lwj was loyal to his side , taking care of changing the bandages . Every night , lwj had a nightmare of the reaction of wwx waking up with no legs . One particular nightmare that haunts him the most is weiying took out his own life out of despair. Lwj couldnt sleep for two nights watching over wwx after that nightmare occurs.

After 6 days, lqr visited the room and berates lwj for neglecting his duty as a student of Lan sect. Lwj angrily talks back, and was taken to kneel in the hall for one day. When he came back , no one was watching wwx. He came back with pure silence from wwx .Where there should a ragged breathing from wwx , it was only silence. Wwx’s usually pale lips was ashen. Bandaged chest that should be heaving was still. Wwx finally succumbed to his injuries after 11 days of fighting and lwj (again) was not by his side. His sect (again) are the cause of pain for his beloved ones and has taken everything from him.

—-

Wow took this one hour and a half. This is my second time posting here. 😋 enjoy?

-b

[matsumi101]

Who is this Kid?

Crossdressing Fem!Reader Hamilton Insert

Secret

Description:

General Washington has been relentlessly receiving letters one after another that has been requesting two same things over and over again. It’s high time he confronts the writer directly about it, and maybe clear something that he’s been hearing around while he’s at it.

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Warnings: swearing, drinking

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Notes:

> Masterlist

> Read from the beginning.

> “F/N” means fake name and “Y/N” means your real first name

> I don’t think I warned y’all before but I wasn’t really planning on writing chronologically. I’m not sorry lmao

> Surprise Wednesday update! I’ve been reading the rb tags and the replies you guys keep leaving in my story and honestly it makes my heart go 💞 aaa ily guys sm and im glad you’re enjoying the story 🥺🥺🥺

———————————

Taglist (if u wanna be added do tell!)

@thebitchiestnerdtowalktheearth  @cutie1365 @girlmadeofivory @i-honestly-dont-know-anymore  @takemyhand-bitch @hamiltrashqueer​

———————————

“Hey, Juggernaut.”

You adjusted your coat before pulling your tent open. “Yo,” you greeted quietly to the soldier waiting in front of your tent. “General Washington calls for you,” he informed you. You nodded and ducked out of your tent, not wanting to wait another second to know what your superior wanted to talk about. You walked at a brisk pace, never stopping until you were now in front of the tent that was noticeably larger than the rest.

You swallowed thickly, millions of possibilities running in your head to as why you were called. A big part of you hoped that it was with regards to your plans, though there was a smaller bit of you that feared that it might be of something else. Not wanting to keep yourself on edge any further, you pushed the tent open and let yourself in.

"Your excellency, sir. You asked to see me?"

You readily saluted at the presence of not only George Washington but the aide-de-camps and officers that were with him as well. They circled a table, where a map and a few mock pieces were laid out for them to view and move around. While John and Lafayette's eyes twinkled with recognition, the others simply stared at your arrival. "Private F/N L/N?" George assumed. He motioned you to be at ease, which you silently obeyed.

"Yes, sir," you confirmed with a steady voice.

George quickly dismissed the rest of the people out of the tent, the only ones remaining were you, him, and Alexander who was busy writing something at his desk at the corner. “I’ve been reading your letters,” George began, moving to get something from his main desk. You immediately tensed as he pulled out a small stack of envelopes underneath. You kept your lips sealed, waiting for the General’s input on your requests.

“You’ve been asking to have the same thing approved for years now,” he began, “and recently, you’re asking for a rather unique position in your unit, correct?”

“Yes, sir.”

From the corner of your eyes you could see Alexander perk up slightly at the conversation. He subtly glanced up from his work, his eyes falling on George as the general picked up an open letter that had been lying on his desk. “Let’s talk about the first one,” George announced. “I’ve noticed there was a slight change with your offer.” You licked the bottom of your lips out of nervousness, fiddling with your hands behind you.

“Unfortunately, even I can’t agree to it.”

“If I may sir, why not?”

George looked up from the letter to you. “Women cannot be paid to study, son,” he explained plainly. You tilted your head the slightest, confusion from his statement evident. “Sir, I do not seek for women to be paid to be taught basic medicinal procedures,” you murmured, and that was enough for George to mirror your expression.

“That doesn’t seem to be the message I’m getting from your letter, L/N.”

You opened your mouth to counter, but when a vague memory hit you like a punch in the gut, you couldn’t help but to smack your forehead in realization. “Shit, I am so sorry,” you apologized, the annoyance woven in your voice directed to yourself more than anything. George furrowed his brows at your sudden drop of formality, noticing how you were cursing under your breath as you returned to position.

“I must’ve sent you my draft letter instead of the actual one. The pay that I mentioned in the letter refers to the pay of the nurses, not the education that I wish to be provided to them.”

Your face turned to more of an embarrassed one. “I... might’ve written this late at night so my thoughts merged while I was writing,” you confessed, looking down at the ground. “I apologize for causing a misunderstanding. Writing... has never really been my best suit.” You could feel the back of your neck heat up with embarrassment, and the blood was slowly creeping its way to your cheeks the more you dwelled on your mistake. George huffed, and you could’ve sworn there was laughter that came along with it.

“We have our own weaknesses, son,” he said. “Rewrite your statement, then I’ll have it sent to the Congress for approval. Hamilton.”

“Yes, sir?”

The called man straightened from his seat almost instantaneously. “If you’re not too busy, you can help Private L/N draft his proposal to the Congress tonight?” he requested. You looked at Alexander almost the same time he looked at you. “I take it you approve of his plans, sir?” he asked George, though it came off more of a statement than a question.

“Yes. If our nurses are given the same pay as our male doctors, or at the very least raise it, then there wouldn’t be any need for our officers to resort to... violent methods of recruiting them.”

Your jaw visibly clenched at the last few words, and George wasn’t dense to not notice it. “If we treat our camp followers properly, as we should’ve been since square one, then they wouldn’t be working out of spite or fear,” you pointed out through gritted teeth, “and by teaching them the required medical procedures to treating our wounded, then there would be more hands on our medical team without really hiring more hands.” Alexander nearly beamed at your words and hurriedly wrote something down on a spare piece of paper.

“That’s an excellent point F/N, I’ll make sure to include that in your proposal,” he announced eagerly.

You stared at Alexander with surprise while George chuckled in amusement. “Now, since we’ve cleared all misunderstandings for your first request, I take it we’re good to move on to the next one?” his voice wasn’t as light as when he brought up your first request. “Ready as I’ll ever be, sir,” you replied. George nodded, pulling a different letter.

“Private L/N, I’m sure you already know the contents of your own letters, so I will say right now that I just can’t approve you to a... what is this term you used?”

“Field medic, sir.”

“Right.”

“Field medic?”

Alexander wasn’t really supposed to be a part of the next conversation, but he couldn’t help but inquire about the strange new term he just heard. “Basically a doctor soldier tasked specifically to treat wounded men while on field and pull them out of there,” George explained, and you nodded. Alexander’s face contorted, and you sighed internally as it was the response you already expected to get from someone hearing your concept for the first time.

“I... I don’t get it,” Alexander murmured. “We can bring our men to the backlines just fine during combat, I don’t see the point of having a person to specialize in that.”

You were just about ready to explain, but then George put up his hand to stop you. “I can hand you Private L/N’s letters of proposal for later, son,” George reasoned. Alexander’s face fell, and the man buried his face back to his work. “With all due respect sir, I feel like I am fully capable of putting this concept into action. My endurance is beyond average to run around the field and carry our wounded, all I need left is some proper first-aid training.”

“And we need your endurance in the frontlines!” George retorted. “Juggernaut, you’re our best foot soldier, I cannot afford to send you to the medics.”

You nearly physically recoiled at the use of your nickname. You wore the title “Juggernaut” with pride ever since, and George knew. Your tendency to almost never use your gunpowder and instead resort to close combat was what earned you the nickname, and your commanders made sure to utilize you best for that. Simply put, your fearlessness to be up close with the redcoats was something praised by your fellow soldiers and feared by the enemy.

“Sir,” your voice dropped low. “Many men die bleeding out in the field when they could’ve lived if only someone had been there to pull them out, but the second they’re crippled they are not our standing soldiers’ priority. Moreover, many more die in the tents simply for having infected wounds that could’ve been survivable had someone treated it long before. These men have hopes of coming home to see the end of this war and what follows as much as any of us, even while they lay in their own pool of blood as the rest of the fight ensues around them. Sir, they have lives they want to go back to, too, just like us.”

When you were done talking, the air within the tent was heavy. Was it out of realization or just the sheer weight of your words, no one was quite sure, but the tension was so thick no blade could cut through it. “I can see you are as adamant in saving lives as you are taking them,” George mused, finally breaking the suffocating silence that wrapped around the three of you. He glanced down at your letter, hesitancy clear as day. Between the two of you, it was the sixth one you sent for your proposed role. For every letter of declination he gave you, you rebutted with a new letter no more than two to three days later countering his reasonings. For someone who isn’t the best at writing, you do write a lot, he thought.

“Let my hands be stained saving the blood of my allies than spilling the blood of my enemies,” you responded, quoting your own letter.

George huffed, setting down the letter. “I will... think this through for the meantime,” he announced. You resisted your mouth that nearly quirked upwards at his words; consideration was a good enough sign for you. “Thank you sir,” you breathed. George eyed you carefully, thinking if there was anything else needed to be said to you. “I suppose that will be all for now,” he decided tentatively. He dismissed you, and just after you thanked him for his time and turned around was then he remembered.

“Hold on, Private. I feel like there’s one more thing needed to be discussed.”

You looked over your shoulder, almost fearfully, as you moved away from the tent’s exit. George leaned back, crossing his arms as he looked at you with a nearly blank stare. “I feel like we should address the secret circulating around you,” he pointed out. Your jaw dropped to the floor, a chill striking you from the feet up. A hand flew over your arm as goosebumps riddled your limbs, and you feared the worst.

“What secret, sir?” you asked, your voice nearly returning to normal with panic.

“Juggernaut, I don’t think we need to beat around the bush over this. Other soldiers have seen it, too, and you need to come clean with it.”

Other soldiers? The thought was everything but comforting. You always thought you had been discreet with your identity, but apparently you weren’t based on the General’s accusations. However, you kept your mind straight enough to keep droning on. Maybe it was just a mistake, maybe it was just a false rumor that was meant to drag you in the dirt. Yeah, maybe that’s it. You desperately wished that was it.

“It must be a mistake, sir. Whatever this secret may be must be just a measly rumor to throw me off,” you tried to reason out.

“Would it be considered a rumor if we have a witness?”

Your stomach dropped. So there are people who saw? That was definitely not right. You were always sure to have your corset on, only taking it off inside the tent, and whenever you bathe you made sure you were either alone or the last one out and never surfacing from the water. George glanced over to Alexander expectantly, and for the first time the secretary seemed to not want to partake in the conversation.

“Hamilton here has your verbatim.”

You could feel your palms turn sweatier as the seconds passed. You steadied your breathing, trying to calm yourself and stay reasonable. Alexander stared at George incredulously, as if he was the one who’d been ratted out by their superior. He looked over to you, and despite your seemingly calm stature there was nervousness in your eyes that spoke otherwise. Not wanting to lie, Alexander nodded almost apologetically to confirm. You felt your shoulders sag. Had you been too lax when you discussed about pretending with other disguised women? Or had you been too loud when you were rambling to yourself in your own tent? You feared what was next to follow, but if there was someone who bore evidence of your secret, then it was better for you to speak the truth.

“I apologize for deceiving you, sir,” you conceded, dropping your head. “I am more than willing to accept the punishment for my actions.”

“Funny, I figured you’d know enough the consequences of having more liquor than the daily rations you’re given.”

“Wh... what...?”

You tried to wrap your head around the new information. Liquor... daily rations... was that what General George Washington accusing you of this whole time? “Or is the excess whiskey your secret to your fearlessness after all?” George mused teasingly, and you shot up straight when it finally registered to you. “No sir, that would be my low sense of self-preservation,” you answered hurriedly, jokingly. Thankfully for you, George chuckled at your banter.

“Well, don’t think of dying too early, young man,” George advised lightheartedly.

“Wouldn’t dream of it, sir.”

The tight feeling that was mentally suffocating you the whole time released your entire being. “Though, if it’s any assurance, my stash of vodka hasn’t really been consumed,” you informed. “If anything, I think the only time I made use of it was when I disinfected someone’s wound.” George sat up straight, a curious look flashing in his eyes.

“Is that so?”

“Yes, sir.”

“Who’d you heal?”

You paused, wondering if you should really say. “It was Lieutenant Colonel John Laurens.” You glanced up, noticing the inquisitive look both George and Alexander held. “If it’s any compensation for my troubles, I can offer some of my personal beverage. Surely, you’d like a shot,” you then offered, swiftly dodging the questions that might’ve followed your prior statement.

“And how will I know this is not a ploy to try on my good side, son?”

“Was I on your bad side this whole time, sir?”

“With the direction your letters were going, you might be at the tipping point of being so with the Congress.”

You laughed uneasily. “Rest assured sir, my offer is all in good faith.” George uncovered the mug that rested on the edge of his table, and you took that as the sign to approach. You pulled out your flask, which had been refilled from the much larger bottle that you were hiding in your tent (you wondered if someone that visited your tent before saw the bottle which led to the accusations), and poured a hefty amount into the mug, much to George’s pleasure. You waved to Alexander with the flask. “Do you want some too, Hamilton?” you asked him. Alexander stared at your flask, then to George, and then to his papers.

“Come on, son. It’s not everyday we have a little extra liquor,” George insisted, a welcoming smile on his face.

Alexander didn’t hesitate to come over to the table the second he got George’s approval. He brought his own cup, and you readily poured him almost the same amount as George. “Thanks, I needed this,” he sighed gratefully, the strong scent already wafting through his nose. The three of you shared a toast, and you took a nice, long swig from your flask. A satisfied growl emitted from each of you, the burning sensation running down your throat.

“Well sir, I should head out now,” you said quietly.

George nodded, and finally dismissed you. “Call the others back on your way out,” he ordered, and you gave a verbal confirmation before pushing one of the tent flaps open. You peered outside and saw that Lafayette and John were talking nearby. You headed to them, waving a hand to catch their attention.

“F/N! The General didn’t chew you out too much, I hope?” John teased.

You rolled your eyes. “Well, I got out alive,” you joked. “The General requests you guys and the other officials to return, by the way.” John chuckled, patting your shoulder as he passed by. Lafayette ruffled your hair before he and John headed out to look for the other officials that dispersed in the camp. You sighed and walked back to your tent, the clashing sensation of relief and anxiousness washing over you.

Your secret was safe... for now.

#hamilton #hamilton musical #hamilton fanfic #hamilton fanfiction #hamilton reader insert #reader insert #fanfiction #fanfic #alexander hamilton #john laurens #lafayette #george washington #who is this kid

[silverandarsenic-hcs]

Ghost BC X Love Languages

another “kat has mental illness” post inspired by This post. But this one is much happier than my murder HCs. please enjoy. (again i didn’t do all of them because I Do What I Want) 

Papa II: He seems the most cold on the outside, compared to the others. In life, and in love. But if you really know him, that just isnt the case. Papa II loves just as fiercely and as passionately as both his brothers and the ghouls, he just shows it very differently. He won’t take you on extravagant getaways at your every whim, or pull romantic stunts in your name, or shout to the roof tops about how you’re the only one for him. But if you have a favorite flower, every night he’ll bring you home a few that he picked from the Church gardens on his lunch hour because he thought of you. He’s gentle with you - not strict, stern or callous like he is with others. He knows youre strong, but thinks the best way to nurture that is to show you small kindnesses. He won’t say I love you every three minutes like clockwork, and he will only call you by your first name unless you tell him you’d prefer something else. His love language is more focused on truly understanding his partner in every way one can imagine to understand another. 

Papa III: His love language gets misunderstood a lot. And a lot of HCs I’ve posted talk about how he loves, more so than any other of the group. We know the youngest Emeritus to be extravagant, in love and in life, to be passionate, to never hold back when it comes to self expression. And as true as those things are, when you know those things about a person, they might begin to come mundane. At first, the flowers he brings you will keep you smiling for weeks. And then it’s fancy dinners. Vacations. A sky writer to mark your name in the heavens. He tries to outdo himself with every new display of affection, but thats exactly why his perfect partner is someone who never becomes accustomed to the lavish. He doesn’t do all these things so you think better of him, or return any favors. All he wants is to keep the smile on your face. He’ll tell you he loves you when he thinks you need to hear it, and even when you don’t want to. He’ll take care of you when you’re sick, however serious, and at the end of every single day, no matter what you did, he’ll crawl into bed beside you and kiss your hair and tell you how amazing you are.

Cardinal Copia: It seems, one of the only things the cardinal can do with confidence, is love. He’s very good at it. His love language revolves around how his partner likes to be shown affection, and he’s adaptable for it. He listens to his partner extraordinarily well, and proves it to them in small gestures. Kind words, or love letters, or small thoughtful gifts. He’ll do what it takes to let his s/o know that he does hear their words, and does want to do everything in his power to make them happy, and does want this to last forever. He’s good at reading people. If you’re in a bad mood, he’ll listen to you. If you want comforting, he won’t leave until you smile, but if you want to be left alone, he’ll give you space. He’s good like that - never takes it to heart when his partner needs some alone time. After all, he only has a social capacity so high himself. 

Swiss: He’s the most casual about things. He’s honest to a fault with the people he cares about. He’ll call you babe/baby, and kiss you on the top of the head before he leaves for work every morning, and before he goes to the bathroom or the kitchen. After a long day while you two are watching TV he’ll rub you feet or your back or whatever hurts. He’ll buy you flowers, and chocolates, and on Valentine's day a beautiful necklace or bracelet you pointed out in the mall a while ago. He won’t do big things for you, because he just doesn’t know how to do them without coming off as disingenuine or cheesy, but he hopes its the little displays every day that make up for it. You’ll never have to doubt that Swiss loves you, together or apart. If he’s mad at you or doesn’t feel like you’re reciprocating his feelings, he’ll tell you instead of letting it bottle up. He won’t yell, or scream, and wants to talk about issues so you can move forward from them and understand how to treat each other better. He expects the same on your end, honesty and calm discussions. Swiss needs a partner who understands that he needs to feel just as loved and noticed as he makes you feel. 

Rain: (Okay after that thing Nyx wrote about Rain in lingerie i have a very specific idea of him in my head that i am finding it IMPOSSIBLE to convey. This is not it. I will find a way one day to explain to you how i see this good man but until then you’re getting Usual Rain.) His love language is soft. He’ll give endless words of affirmation and make sure every single second of every day that they understand how much he loves and cares for them. He’s the type to give small gifts all the time, of things that reminded him of them, but not without good cause and not too much. Once a week, maybe, and only if he thinks his s/o will really enjoy it and be flattered by it. He’s more likely to stay home more than his partner, so he’ll do things around the house to keep it nice and clean. Make the bed. Sweep. Take care of any pets that need attending too, and make sure they’re fed and exercised appropriately. He’ll cook dinner for his s/o, and hell make a new recipe once a week just for some flare and see if it gets added to the roster of Good Meals that his s/o is happy to have any time. House wife boy, I suppose. 

Mountain: He’s the most casual and quiet when it comes to love. He will do absolutely nothing and assume saying i love you once in a blue moon is more than acceptable - it’s not that he doesn't care or doesn’t think of you, he’s just a little clueless. You would have to properly sit him down and tell him “i like that you do this, but i would like a little bit more of this” for him to even realize that he isn’t making you feel how he wants to. And he would listen, he’s good for that. He won’t just do it because he was told to either - he takes it to heart that he isnt making you feel loved like you should be, and he genuinely wants to remedy that 

Aether: His love language is primarily quality time. Whether out on a walk, or on a date, or sitting on the couch silently and doing your own thing, Aether is happy to just be around his s/o. He loves being able to just spend time with them, no matter what they’re doing, and comfortable silence is important to him. It shows you’re comfortable around him, and don’t feel the need to impress or ask questions. When you speak he’ll put down his phone or whatever he’s doing, and give you his full undivided attention, and expects the same from you. He’ll treat you how he expects to be treated, but never in a way that seems like he’s expecting anything ridiculous from you. Nothing elates his heart more than hearing that his s/o is proud of him, and appreciates him and all he does. Of gifts, he’s most likely to be practical with it. If you needed something for work but didn’t have time to run to the store, or needed groceries, or needed something for the house he’ll get it for you. it’s rare that he’ll give you any gift that doesn’t serve a useful purpose except for a holiday or birthday present.  

Dew: Sometimes it can be hard to tell his romantic attraction from platonic attraction, and if you dont really read it just right, it can cause some problems for you. He’s not about any of that classic romantic shit aside from a decent cuddle at night. He tends to treat his s/o like a best friend, because that’s kind of who they are too him. They’re his first options for invites to whatever adventure he wants to go on, or when he wants to walk to the gas station across town at 4am for a slushie. He won’t be more gentle with you than he is with his friends, including a little rough housing, but he still makes sure you don’t get hurt. It can sometimes feel like you’re just one of the guys, the only difference being that you’re having sex, but you have to look closely. He makes the most effort to be around you. He’ll leave you little gifts around the house that don’t seem like gifts - half a chocolate bar, a stick he found on his walk home that he thought you might like. If you live together he’ll clean up after himself more than he would have. He won’t call you pet names unless you ask him too, but he’ll shorten your name to whatever he thinks your name should be. Change it all together if he thinks it doesn’t fit you. You just have to know Dew really well to be able to understand his love language, and for a lot, its something they never learn. (the chocolate part was inspired by another post that ive now lost so if you wrote it or have the link pls send and i will link it here! wasn’t my idea i just agree!!!) 

- Kat

#ghost #ghost bc #the band ghost #ghost band #papa ii #papa iii #Papa Emeritus II #papa emeritus iii #cardinal copia #copia #cardi c #the nameless ghouls #swiss ghoul #swiss army ghoul #swiss #aether #aether ghoul #dewdrop #dewdrop ghoul #ember #ember ghoul #rain #rain ghoul #mountain #mountain ghoul #love #romantic #love langauges #hc #headcanon

[fluid-quartz]

its almost 2 am, i make poor life choices, and i just wrote a small ficlet based on @welsfight ‘s post about how ex eats and the weird theories that stemmed from it. i thought about putting the biggest part of it under the cut cause its like ~1800 words but i dont feel like it whoops

so without further ado, i present to you:

THE HERMITS AND THE MYSTERY OF HOW EVIL X EATS

It was a nice evening out, as they all sat around the campfire. Tango was sitting almost inside of it, roasting marshmallows for everyone that wanted them, and the others were just chatting with each other, about some of their projects and plans or simply about things that had happened.

Cub was looking pensively the whole time, as though he was trying to figure something out.

“Hey guys? Strange question, maybe, but… Do you ever wonder how Evil X eats, what with that helmet that never goes off?” The conversation around him dulled, multiple Hermits just staring at him for a moment.

“That… is a very good question,” said Zedaph as he jumped to his feet. He sensed there was a great game show in this, probably. “Ladiiiieeeeees and gentlemeeeeeen! Welcome to the first episode of How Do They Eat?! This time, we’re discussing Evil Xisuma!” A few of them chuckled, shifting in their places a little to be able to properly see Zedaph, who had just completely taken on his game show host persona, including putting a little desk of brightly coloured concrete in front of him.

There was only murmur for a moment, and then Bdubs stood up, dramatically clearing his throat.

“Well, I think he eats nutrient pills that he pops through a coin slot. So he can still have a balanced diet, you know?” As he spoke, Keralis’ eyes grew even larger than they already were.

“Slot machine? Did you say… Slot machine, Bubbles???” he said, not-so-sneakily looking around to see if Evil X was around somewhere. Iskall just laughed, and Bdubs looked at Keralis with judgment in his eyes.

“No, no, you can’t play slot machines on Evil X, he puts a cork in the coin slot when he isn’t using it.”

Keralis wanted to go against it, but Zedaph was quicker and louder.

“That’s an interesting theory you got there! But… Are there others? Surely you must have wondered before how he eats. Come, don’t be afraid to speak up!”

Doc immediately raised his hand, then stood up to speak.

“Guys. It’s obviously a teleportation ray. He just points at food, and it reappears in his mouth or stomach, depending on how lazy he’s feeling. It’s the simplest scientific explanation.”

“That’s a load of bullshit, Doc. It implies that he needs to eat, and we all know he’s secretly a robot. He just hasn’t shown it yet, right, guys?” Biffa interjected before anyone else could speak. There was some muttering about it, until Zedaph once more took over.

“Biffa, I appreciate the input, I really do – yes, yours too, Doc, don’t worry – but for the sake of the game, let’s assume he eats.”

“But what if he doesn’t? What if… What if he’s immortal! Immortals don’t eat, right?” Keralis butted in enthusiastically.

“Well, then we wouldn’t be playing this game, right? So! Theories! I personally think he can just remove a panel of his helmet, and then sucks it in like a vacuum cleaner. Or like Kirby, that might be closer to reality. They are both red, after all.”

“Kirby’s pink, Zed.”

“I don’t care, Tango, I haven’t heard you name a better theory.”

All eyes in the circle were suddenly aimed at Tango, who almost dropped a batch of marshmallows into the fire.

“Uh…. I uh… Maybe his helmet is just fused to his face? So like, it opens up when his mouth opens?” He sounded a tad unsure of himself, having to think up a theory on the spot. Still better than kirbying, though. Stress immediately started bouncing up and down on the ground, her hand raised high into the sky.

“Oh, oh! What if the glass part of his helmet just opens, so he can drop the food in?”

“Or the top. It could also be the top of his helmet that opens, like a fishbowl,” interjected TFC’s gruff voice. He sounded amused, though. Very much so.

“Wouldn’t that just create a very big mess? For all we know the bottom half can just open up separately from the rest, so he can just eat more or less normally,” Wels shrugged, looking over at Zedaph once more.

“Those are all very valid theories. A bit boring, though, and plain! There’s more points to be got with creative theories!” He was smiling widely, looking around at the others. Then he pointed at Iskall. “You! Iskall! What is your super mega awesome theory of doom?”

The swede looked bewildered, and thought for a moment. Then they could almost literally see a redstone lamp going on above his head.

“An airlock! Like in spacecrafts! That’s why the bit in front of his mouth sticks out a little, it’s so that food can first get surrounded by the Right Kind of air before it gets to him!” He was beaming, thinking his theory was the most clever one out there. Until Mumbo spoke up.

“Uhm… Iskall? How would he get the food from that airlock into his mouth?”

“I don’t know, maybe he just like… tilts his head backwards and hopes for the best?” Around him, various Hermits were laughing. The mental image of spooky, scary Evil X desperately trying to make a cookie fall into his mouth and failing horribly just did that to someone.

“Oh! If we continue in that vein a little… You know how items sometimes just kind of clip through walls? What if that’s how he gets food inside of his helmet? By having it just clip through? Sometimes it would just get stuck, though, out of his reach,” Impulse mused, smiling widely.

“Gosh, that would be soooo difficult to clean, though!” Stress sighed.

“Then he can just clip through some cleaning supplies as well, don’t worry about it.” Impulse chuckled, then stuck out his tongue at the face Stress made.

From the other side of the campfire, Jevin’s voice suddenly popped up.

“You know, I bet he eats enderpearls like eggs.”

The murmuring that had been present completely died down as he looked around, completely serious. Zedaph opened and closed his mouth a few times.

“That.. That wasn’t even the question, Jevin! Do you have any theories about how he eats instead?”

“Yeah… Yeah, I do. I think he just… He either boils them, and eats them with the crunchy scale, or maybe he just sticks a straw in to slurp up the insides. Evil X seems like someone that would do that.”

“ABOUT HOW HE EATS IN GENERAL, JEVIN, NOT ABOUT HOW HE EATS ENDERPEARLS!” Zedaph sighed, then shook his head and facepalmed. “Anyone else. Literally anyone. Please.”

Python mumbled something in response, too quiet for even the people around him to hear properly.

“Could you repeat that a bit louder, please?” Zedaph asked, and Python looked him straight in the eyes.

“… maybe he vores?”

“No. Nope. Cursed theory right there, ladies and gents. Python, please go sit with Jevin to think about your sins, and maybe you won’t go in the dunk tank.” He pointed over to were the grinning slime man was sitting, and Python stood up with a shrug, faking disappointment and fear for the dunk tank. Then Mumbo raised his hand.

“Okay, so, what if his helmet functions the same as Darth Vader’s mask? What if there’s just some kind of mechanical cheese grater that he can just put food through, so it can go through his helmet and into his mouth without too much trouble?” A bit of muttering sounded here and there, once again with sounds from Stress about how horrible that would be to get clean.

“What if… What if he just like… Photosynthesizes, man… like a flower, getting nutrients from the sunlight and from putting his feet in the dirt… how nice would that be, man...” Ren said, his drawl slow and relaxed.

“Ren, I think you had too many of those mushrooms, your Renbob is showing. Though, I think it’s quite obvious. He just uses a feeding tube to get his food in, or perhaps a straw and blendered food. It could simply go through a small hole in the helmet.” Scar then popped a few unroasted marshmallows into his mouth before continuing. “That way, there’s no mess at all.”

The theory earned him some nods, and then Cleo stood up. Slowly, to get the attention of everyone around.

“While all of you have great ideas, I think it’s obvious how it works. Evil X just eats like Sandy the Squirrel, from Spongebob.”

“And how would that be, Cleo?” Impulse asked.

“Well, he just… puts food into his mouth through the bottom of his helmet, where it connects to his armor. Of course, that means he has to open up his armor a little bit, but that’s done easily enough. I bet he has a zipper too.” She smiled widely, with a look in her eyes that said that she knew full well that there was no way that her theory was correct. It made Joe sigh dramatically.

“What is wrong with all of y’all?! He would just take off his helmet and eat like a normal person!” False raised her hand.

“I gotta stop you there, Joe. We both know that he can’t breathe Overworld air unaided, like X can’t either. So, let me propose the following: He takes a whiff of his inhaler so he got air for a little bit, then he takes off the helmet and he just starts shoveling in as much food as he can before putting his helmet back on. And then he repeats that until he’s done eating.”

“I can live with that,” Joe said, and then he looked over at Zedaph. “That seems like a good and valid theory, right?”

“It certainly does, Joe! But… Since we’re nearing the end of the episode, why don’t we ask X for some clarity? If anyone knows, it would be him. Let’s see how close we got, everyone!” He then proceeded to pull Xisuma to his feed, and pushed him to be behind the host desk. It made the admin chuckle, but he took on the role that was apparently expected of him.

“It’s quite simple, actually,” Xisuma started, “Just like me, he can use a breathing tube so he can just take off-”

He then got interrupted by Grian yelling “STOMACH MOUTH! STOMACH MOUTH!” repeatedly at the top of his lungs, because he couldn’t quite believe how easy and boring the solution was. Xisuma looked over at him with a raised eyebrow, and then he just shook his head as the Hermits around started laughing. He loved those idiots.

#hermitcraft #hermitcraft fanfic #how does evil x eat #basically all hermits are in here #i aint tagging all of them #all theories are based on ones yall actually sent to cent #fluff #the hermits share a braincell #long post

[panda-writes-trash]

-Formal Beginnings-

Synopsis: You’re a pro hero! You’ve been assigned on an undercover mission with a younger (Pre-UA teacher) Eraserhead. You’ve been in battle together before and you’re no stranger to each other. But having to dress in formal attire and infiltrate a lavish mansion full of drug dealing villains, wasn’t something either of you are very used to.

-

Word Count: 3,478

Aizawa has worked with you on a few jobs here and there when it was called for. But it was never anything like the task the two of you were assigned tonight. He was used to the quick capture and detain types of missions and they were what he was used to- this was way out of his comfort zone.

---

He sat in the waiting room, the two of you were called in at the last minute as something unexpectedly came up. It was briefly mentioned over the phone what you two would be doing but they were waiting on you to show up before giving a full briefing. It shouldn't be long- he lived closer anyway and had been up doing laundry and cleaning up his less than appealing apartment even if it was already past midnight. He could only assume the call had roused you awake. You had a decent grip on a sleep schedule as far as he could tell.

His suspicions were only confirmed when the doors slammed open to you coming hurriedly in with messy hair and pajamas with your hero suit half sticking out of your bag. He couldn't help but snicker seeing the loose pants covered with cartoon kittens- he never got to see you like this and he found it a bit cute. But he was quickly brought out of his thoughts as you came over and spoke.

“Have you gotten the details yet, or are we waiting on me?”

You were a bit out a breath, no doubt from the run here. He stood up and simply shook his head.

“I have an idea, but no. No details yet.”

He watched as you put your leg up on one of the chairs and balanced your bag on it as you rummaged through it pulling out a hair brush and frantically running it through your locks.

“Okay, good good. Just give me a second to get changed into my suit then we can go i-”

But you were cut off, he glanced up to see the police Chief Tsuragamae had joined them.

“Dont bother changing you two will have to be wearing formal wear for this.”

He glanced over to see your confused look as you set the bag down and placed your foot back firmly on the floor- this is the part that was briefly mentioned on the phone to him.

He sighed and shrugged.

“It's an undercover mission. They want us in formal attire.” He looks up at the dog. “And I dont think I'm the best person for this, especially without my capture weapon right?”

The nod of response causes him to huff. The thought of potentially getting into trouble without it didn't sit well with him. He wouldn't be able to protect you if it comes down to it and it gave him a bad taste. But he was sure there was more to the situation if he was specifically put on this job, so he waited for Tsuragamae to continue.

“We have been watching this group for a few months now, they’re not big but they seem to be pretty heftily funded- we’ve been able to detain a few of the thugs but their leader has a sort of teleportation quirk. Which is why we need you.”

He simply nodded in understanding now. Following the chief into his office with you alongside him as he proceeded to give visuals with his further explanation.

“Because of his quirk he has always escaped our men and it's only a few days before they start causing trouble again. They’re a part of the development of quirk drugs. We managed to track down and interrogate one of the people funding this group. The boss is hosting a party tonight for investors and potential future ones. I know you wont have your capture weapon, but that is why you’re plus one will be Miss Y/N here."

He glances over at you, your quirk has definitely been a helpful one in the past. Like his it wasn't very flashy, you had the ability to halt all movements of anyone you touched. Which certainly would help in detaining someone. You gave him a big smile, he was a little less worried now but still this was all a bit much.

“So what kinda dress did you pick out for me, it better not be too bright- god forbid if it’s orange.”

You spoke out causing the Chief to smile and hand you each bag and send you on your way. Having further information to your phones.

The both of you went into the police locker rooms together. He pulled out the contents of his bags and immediately grimaced.

“Oh come on you’ll look great in a tux!”

You were looking at him with a dumb smirk. He was a bit embarrassed, he hated wearing this kind of stuff. He preferred his usual loose fitting comfy clothing. He hesitantly took off the binds that were around his neck and comfortably sat on his shoulders.

“Just something im not used to is all- hope it doesn't restrict movement too much”

Once he saw you were turned away, he did the same. It wasn't uncommon for heros to change in the same room. Ones with the same agencies typically shared one common area, and after all they are professionals- just gotta keep it professional… he wasn't paying much attention as he changed into the monkey suit, buttoning the pants up and beginning to wrap the belt around his waist when you had gasped completely catching him off guard he almost spun around to look- but had just caught himself.

“Whats wrong- Are you decent?”

You were silent for a bit which had him a bit concerned but when you finally spoke he almost laughed.

“I really like this dress. And yes I am, I just need a little help with the zipper on the back.”

He rolled his eyes but at the confirmation he turned around- and wow. He did have to take a moment watching and looking you over as you admired yourself in the mirror. It was a tight fitting black sequin dress. It dragged a bit behind you but had a slit that had one of your legs sticking out with some matching black heels.

“You gonna stop ogling or what, we got a party to get to Eraser.”

He was snapped out of his thoughts and had a bit of a blush now but came over close behind you and pinched the top of the dress together and smoothly zipped it up.

“Sorry, hard to believe the same girl in baggy pajamas and ridiculous bedhead is the same one im looking at now- thought someone took my partner.”

You gave him a bit of a glare and he smiled- but as you turned around to face him and the mess he left his tie in you shook your head, grabbing the edges of his coat to pull him forward. And undoing the tie to fix it.

“At least your partner can properly tie, and we need to fix your hair too. You’re gonna look like a hoodlum going in with that rats nest- no drug investor is gonna look like that”

He was at a bit of a loss for words as you pulled him and started to fix what he had screwed up, though he didn't think it was that bad. But oh man, you were way too close for comfort, you were practically pressed up against him- and in that dress he could see right down-

He was startled when you pushed him down and he fell back onto the bench between the lockers and you started running your brush through his hair- this was too much. Even through the mess he was in he couldn't let this continue with how he was getting a few butterflies in his stomach so he waved you off.

“Calm down, I can fix it myself… Thank you though”

He had slicked most of it back and tied the top half up as well. Lazily, but still an improvement from before. He looked to you for your approval. Your thumbs up in response brought a slight smile to him.

You two went out the door into the unmarked police car, he opened the door for you before getting in on the other side. The both of you looked over the further details that were sent to your phones. Up until you pulled up to the gate with a large mansion in the back, he got out with you in tow.

“Shota, When I think of villain bases, I think of spooky underground cellar types- not, well, this”

“On a first name basis now?”

He watched you a bit confused, you two were a bit close but he doesnt think you’ve ever called him by his first name before.

“What am I supposed to be calling you Eraserhead around a whole bunch of villains?”

You had a point and gained a chuckle out of him nodding. He was surprisingly a lot less stressed about the whole thing compared to earlier. He's sure that was gonna change at some point. But for now it almost felt like he was taking you on some sort of fancy date. He wouldn't mind something like that, he'd even be willing to get dressed up like this.

You had wrapped your arm around his and walked in unison to the guard standing before the door. Aizawa had given the man the name of the man the police detained and it seems there was no issue as his name was checked off the list, and they were quickly checked to make sure they weren't harboring any weapons before walking in.

He looked down at you as you both looked around and took the place in, “Well Shota, I certainly wasn't expecting it to be so nice here.”

“It's probably how they get funding, put on a pleasing image and you get more backing. They think they know what the group’s doing and find it to be a safe investment.”

He glanced down beside him to find you looking up at him- he quickly looked away and continued.

“Well, lets just blend in till we find our guy- then we can make a plan and try to get him secluded… so-” he rubs the back of his neck, “care to dance?”

You were clearly a bit taken aback by his words where he was almost going to take it back and act as he was joking.

“I didn't think you could even dance, I would love to.”

He sighed a bit in relief and took your hand as he kept his voice low, “not well, but I know enough of the basics.”

So he did, he took your hand and led you out to where other couples were dancing. And held you close while staying in rhythm to the music, started swaying. It was a good place to be after all, they were in the center of the large ballroom and were able to look around to see the target.

He was actively looking around up until you decided to rest your head against his chest as you danced. He wanted to scold you for being unprofessional, but he couldn't deny the fact that he liked the feeling too much to tell you to stop. And with the spinning pattern everyone was dancing in he was able to get a clear view of all the room anyway, no reason to ruin the good time yet. Instead he kept his hand on the small of your back and kept you close.

He did struggle to keep focus, he found himself glancing down at your frame against his more than he cares to admit. But always snapped back to it, you had a job to do after all. He barely was able to spot the man standing on one of the balconies watching the crowd, the target.

“Y/N.”

…

“Hey, Y/N!” He hissed and it jossled you a bit.

You were clearly zoned out, and having been enjoying yourself maybe a bit too much. Though who could blame you.

“The targets on one the top balcony, back by the east wing. He seems to have 3 body guards- with one going out and returning every few minutes. We should go while he's alone with them- It’ll make this a lot harder when he decides to join the party and he's surrounded by dozens of people”

Aizawa made his way with you off the main floor, before simply giving you a nudge

“Are you alright?”

You gave a nod in response.

“Yeah, sorry, it's just been a while since I've ever danced with someone proper like that. I wont zone out again, don't worry.”

He smiled, having made up his mind on his thought from earlier.

“Well, I don't think I’d mind taking you out on a fancy date like this. Ya’ know, when our lives aren't on the line.”

Your head practically snapped up to look at him. And once again immediately regretted the forwardness- it was a bit out of line. You were partners, but not in that sense

“I-”

But before he could even start apologizing you got this giddy grin that made his heart skip a beat.

“Are you serious?”

“Well- I mean, yeah.”

He watched as you hummed. “I think that sounds very nice, a fancy night out on the town and some relaxation would be good for you. You're starting to become more of a hermit everytime I see you.”

He rolled his eyes. It wouldn't be for him, if he had to choose a type of date it would be lounging at home watching a movie and then a nap. But the thought of getting to see you in a dress like this again did get him excited.

He could talk about it more and defend his hermit status later, as the two of you were already at the top of the stairs and he motioned for you to be quiet. You both made your way down the hallway up until you stopped and hissed- he was worried something was wrong until he saw you leaning against the wall and taking off the heels.

“The damn clacking-”

He chuckled and nodded in understanding before spotting one of the guards standing outside the door. If only he had his capture weapon, it would've made easy work immobilizing all of the guards. He tried to think up a plan for a moment- but was drawn out of it by a pair of heels being placed in his hands for him to hold onto as you had stepped out into view. It made his anxiety shoot up for a moment- but hopefully you had a plan since you had revealed yourself.

The guard spoke first. “Hey lady, you're not supposed to be up here.”

Shota sat where he was still hidden but watching, the guard clearly didn't see you as a threat yet which was at the very least good. But what were you planning that you couldnt tell him first?

He watched as you- stumbled?

“H-Huh- what me? I'm just- trying to find the bathroom- couldn't find one anywhere I swear-”

You gave a hiccup, oh my god were you pretending to be drunk? It wasn't a bad act but he was still confused. He watched as the guard looked around a moment not seeing anyone did he smile at Y/N.

“Ah Miss you’ve gone all the wrong ways- why don't ya’ let me take ya’ don't worry yer’ in safe hands.”

Shota grimaced and felt a bit sick, how disgusting and low men could get. So far to try something even while on the job. And just thinking about a man taking advantage of you made his blood boil.

But as he put an arm around Y/N the conditions were met for her to activate her quirk and he finally saw what she was going for as the guy went stiff as a board as every muscle in his body locked up, jaw and tongue included so he couldn't speak.

You slipped out from under his arm and made your way back to him with a pleasant smile on your face.

“I think my acting is pretty up there ain't it.”

He wasn’t very amused by the whole thing, “you could've at least told me you know, could've done something better than playing a drunk victim.”

“Got the job done didn't it. Only two guards and the target to go right?”

He sighs, you had a point. It just didn't sit well with him and gave him a sour taste. He gave a nod as he looked at the door, the three should be just on the other side.

“Alright I got an idea.”

---

He explained to you quietly and swiftly. That this had to be an instant take down. Otherwise they risked the chance of alerting the others in the building, and that would make things a mess and the target would probably instantly escape. He had to use his quirk on the boss instantly otherwise it was game over. The entrance to the balcony was a double door opening outwards, each of you would hide on each side. Make a noise and as they came out to investigate, you each would pop out. He would use his quirk on the boss on the balcony and deal with his guard the old fashioned way. You would use your quirk to stun the guard and bolt and do the same on the target before they had a chance to call for help. It was simple enough and straight to the point but he thought it was the best option given your circumstances. When you had eagerly nodded in agreement you both took your places to the side of the large oak doors.

He gave a final nod to you and you returned it. He picked up the pair of heels he’d been holding and wasted not a moment more to toss them in front of the door, the hard plastic making a loud enough clap against the tile floor that it was only a few seconds before the door hesitantly opened and the two guards peered out guns drawn. It was time to go.

He sprung out along with you. A little bit further to get a view of the boss in the back, his hair going high as he made sure this guy wasn't going anywhere. But there was also the gun in his face he had to deal with- good thing you caught them by surprise, they weren't ready to pull the trigger. He bobbed to the side and with a swift movement popped the bottom of the guys jaw with his elbow. He dropped his gun and before he even hit the floor you were already on the target and had locked up both of the men.

He gave a sigh of relief, but quickly helped you move the men off the balcony before you had any peeping eyes overseeing the catastrophe.

“It's nice seeing you get physical- most times I see you its just all about manipulating that scarf of yours”

“What, didn't think I’ve had combat training?”

He raised a brow looking you over, your quirk really was amazing and it came in handy on many occasions. Now especially since he can't deny someone's quirk for more than a few minutes at most. Yours lasted hours.

He pulled out his phone, “Im gonna call the chief, we got the guy they wanted. The force can come in and wrap the rest of this up.”

You simply hummed in agreement as you picked back up your heels slipping them back on, your feet were getting cold simply standing on the polished tile.

---

Before you knew it Tsuragamae had waves of armed police flood the building. And since the security in this place made such a point of disarming the guests, there wasn't much of a struggle. And the target was quickly carried off into custody.

“I’d say that was a mission success!”

He looked over at you as you both sat on an outside bench. His overcoat wrapped around your shoulders, it and your hair swaying gently with the breeze as you swirled and sipped off a champagne glass you had grabbed amongst the chaos on the way out.

You both sat in silence watching as police came in and out of the building with bundles of the party guests, sticking around just in case there was a need for your assistance.

But since you both were simply waiting, he smiled as he thought he’d bring up a bit of conversation. Shifting his weight and leaning over some.

…

“So how about that date?”

#Aizawa #aizawa x reader #eraserhead #my hero x reader #my hero academia #eraserhead x reader #shota aizawa

[danganronpa-tng]

Chapter 5 - The Trial Of Kamron Naegi

*Trigger Warning; brief mention of hanging later in the trial. Read at your own discretion*

- - -

Kamron was found collapsed out in the hallway of the dormitory corridor. He had a couple of bruises on barely visible areas, such ad his stomach or legs. His sunglasses were missing. Due to the fact four people encountered the body at the same time, one out of the four could still be a suspect, hkwever this is not certain.

Cause of death was blood loss. He was found with his right hand severed, laying several feet away from him. The weapon used to sever the hand is unknown, but the cut makes it look like a sharp blade. There were clear signs of a struggle, including blood splatters in the middle of the hallway. It seems he was propped up against the wall rather than collapsing against it.

The victim was killed at approximately 1PM. He was discovered at approximately 9AM that day.

- - -

“So, he died at 1AM?”

“Yep... anything on your mind, Sara?”

“Huh? Oh, nothing really. I just find it odd he was still fully clothed at 1AM, that’s all. Well, bar his sunglasses, but you know.”

“That’s true, actually... thanks, Sara!”

“Anytime! Good luck.”

- - -

“I-I can’t believe this... Kamron... as s-soon as I learn we’re related...”

“Hey, hey Kass... it’s gonna be OK. We’re gonna find his killer, no matter what! Ok?”

“Yeah... yeah, I know you can. We all can. I just can’t let this slide. Someone’s- someone’s gonna pay!”

“Right.”

- - -

“Greetings, Hayden.”

“Oh, Katelyn! You ok? You look panicked.”

She’s smoothing out her clothes and panting.

“No, not panicked per say... more so, kind of nervous. I was chatting to Aspen last night, and we talked about how we were sure nobody else would be killed from now on... I suppose we were wrong.”

“Oh...”

“Anyways, I did my usual check to the weapons room, as I tend to do.”

“And?”

“I, surprisingly didn't see anything out of place. Nobody had moved anything since the masquerade.”

“Really? That’s odd... anyways, thanks Katelyn.”

“Anytime. Now, if you’ll excuse me.”

- - -

“M-morning, Aeja...”

“Hello, Hayden. Apologies for my message earlier, please disregard it.”

“Huh? I mean, we can still talk if you want-”

“No, it’s quite alright. Now, what did you come over here for?”

“Ah, well, I just wanted to see what evidence you had.”

“Is that it? Hm. Well then, all I’ve found so far isn’t properly solid evidence, but I noticed that almost everyone came out of their room in their pyjamas, as you can see. However, three people didn’t. Aspen, Katelyn and Estrella. Not proper evidence.”

“Well, it’s still worth noting! Thanks, Aeja.”

“You’re welcome. Now, please leave me be. I’m thinking.”

“Ah. Ok.”

- - -

“Estrella-?”

“Hm? Hmm? Is that a voice? No, must have been the wind.”

“Estrella-”

“Oh, there it is again! It sure is drafty in here.”

“Estrella please, I just wanna talk about evi-”

“Ugh, a leader as supreme as me shouldn't be putting up with a cold room. I’ll be taking my leave now.”

“Wait-! Aaaaaaaand she’s gone.”

- - -

“Hm? Vera? Oh, you can write it down. Cool.”

Yes. Well, I was just wondering, has anyone checked the kitchen to see if all the knives are still there? It might be a worthy idea.

“Oh, no actually! I didn’t even think of that. Thanks, Vera!”

- - -

The Trial

- - -

“So, does anyone have a solid alibi?”

“For 1AM?”

“Ah... fair point. So let me rephrase that; was anybody in someone else’s dorm last night? As in, sleeping over?”

Yes, I was staying in Sara’s room last night.

“Ah, ok! So, we can pretty safely assume those two are clear then.”

“Nice! Thanks, Vera!”

“Was anyone else with another person? For any amount of time?”

I looked over at Estrella and Aeja. They were looking anywhere but at each other, avoiding eye contact like it was the Black Plague. I pitied the two. I debated whether or not I should admit I saw them. But before I could, the conversation topic changed.

- - -

“So, I don’t suppose anyone checked the weaponry room, did they?”

“Yes, I did, in fact.”

“Oh! See anything, Katelyn?”

“No, actually. Nothing was out of place, so it seems nothing has moved since our last investigation.”

“Oh, that’s odd...”

“...hey, Vera? Didn't you say you thought about checking the kitchen?”

She nods.

“Did you get a chance to?”

She nodded again, starting to write. I suppose writing is easier then having everything translated.

Yes. One knife was in the rack still, but bloodied, so we can assume a kitchen knife is what severed his hand. And I also noticed a glass while I was there, one that still had ice in it. Which means...

“Someone only put it back this morning?”

She nods.

- - -

“Estrella, you’ve been pretty quiet.”

“Hm? Oh, sorry. I just didn’t feel like wasting my breath on you.”

“Wow, rude.”

“Really? Quite honestly Sara, I hadn’t cared to notice.”

“What’s up with you? You’ve been in a pretty good mood since the whole-”

“Yeah, well, things change, People change. Or rather, they don’t. See, I was trying to be a but nicer, but after a certain incident I realised that- well, who am I kidding? I’ve built this role for myself, and I’m never gonna be able to shake it off, so might as well live up to it.”

She folds her arms.

“I’m the evil leader that’s only here to confuse and irritate people. I’m the walking embodiment of a bad joke! So, if you plan on figuring out who stabbed Spy Kid over there, I suggest you shut the fuck up and keep going with the trial.”

Sara just looked away, slightly disheartened.

“I thought we’d become friends now... Aren’t we friends?”

“Do you really want to be friends with someone like me?”

- - -

“Well, let’s get back to alibis, since we don’t have much to go off. Where was everyone? Alone, or with someone else?”

“I- like I said earlier, I was with Vera.”

“Right. Karma?”

“I was alone. I stayed up a bit late though, so I only woke up when the body announcement went off.”

“Ok. Kassidy?”

“I-I said goodbye to Kamron and then went back to my room... I went asleep pretty quickly.”

“Alright. Katelyn?”

“Unlike almost everyone here, I have an alibi. I stayed in Aspen’s room last night, then went back to mine and got changed. I was up before the announcement, so-”

“Wait a sec.”

“Hm? Something wrong, Aspen?”

“Katelyn... you never came to my room last night.”

- - -

“Katelyn..? Care to defend yourself?”

“Wh- oh, shut up, copycat. Have you not even considered your dear girlfriend over there? You should have seen her face when we saw the body! She didn’t even look surprised, she looked like she already knew! She-”

“That’s because I did.”

“...what?”

“Estrella, what do you mean by-?”

“Isn't it obvious, Mr No Talent? I saw the murder happen. I was on my way back to my room when I heard a fight, so I went to check it out, and... well, I simply decided to not give him a hand, haha!”

“Really?! You're serious?”

“Most likely.”

“Well, who did it?”

“I thought that was obvious, too. I decided not to tell you because I’m pissed off! I’m a petty bitch, as you know, and as such I decided to let this play out.”

“Estrella, stop being childish-”

“DON’T talk to me about childish, Aeja! I’m not the one who tried to hang them self when they got scared!”

The room fell horribly silent. Aeja looked away, and Estrella reached up to her own cheek, where her cut was. Something started to click into place.

“Wait, Aeja tried to-”

“Fine then, Estrella. If you're going to be like that, shut up and dont disrupt this trial. This isn't about our business, it’s about finding Kamron’s killer. So, now that we’re back on topic and abandoning that last conversation... Katelyn? Aspen?”

Aspen looked at Katelyn, who didn’t meet his eyes.

“K-Katelyn? Kate? Please, please tell me you just got mixed up. You got mixed up, right? Yeah. Yeah!”

“...Aspen.”

“...no. No, no, no, please don’t say it.”

- - -

“Why? Why did you do it, Katelyn?”

“I- Hayden. You have to understand, I hold my parents in... very high regard. He was insulting them, insulting me! I-I couldn’t just let that stand. I got mad, so I- I got a knife from the kitchen and went back, just to threaten him! I never planned on actually hurting him... but I guess he panicked, and he lunged at me. So I panicked, and- I accidentally-”

“...chopped his hand off.”

“...If I could go back in time, I would change what I did. But, it’s in the past now. I... this shouldn't have happened, I know.”

“...you can’t be serious, right Katelyn? Right?! It was Estrella. Yeah, it was! You’re just covering for her because- because- you don't wanna watch the same execution again!”

“...no.”

“...this doesn’t compute. There’s something wrong here, right? RIGHT?!”

- - -

“Well, Hayden, I do not wish to put up a fight. Care to unravel this case?”

That quickly? Hm...

“Ok. This- *sigh*.”

This all starts... Last night, I believe. The killer was out in the corridor with Kamron, with whom they hadn't interacted, until the killer made some off-handed comment about their parents, which caught Kamron’s attention. He started talking about the parents of the other participants, including the killer’s. They seemed to have a particular distaste for their parents, particularly their deceased father, for reasons unknown, as they started to slander them, insulting them and the killer. The killer, enraged by this, leaves Kamron there and goes to the kitchen. They grab a knife, which they must have thought was blunt, to threaten him. However, when they got there, Kamron saw the weapon in their hand and panicked. They tried to lunge for the killer, but was swiftly cut off- literally- as the killer also panics and swings the knife with unusual force. This blow, to their dismay, manages to cut off Kamron’s hand. He stumbles backwards and collapsed, bleeding out. The killer, panicking, returns to their room. They stash the weapon and go straight to bed, trying to act natural. 

They wake up slightly earlier than everyone else to hide the evidence. They wake up a bit too late though, and don't have as much time as they thought to clean the weapon. They simply slip it back into the knife rack and grab a quick drink, before heading back to their room. Five minutes later, they hear me scream and run outside, ‘finding’ the body along with me and two others.

That’s what happened, and our killer is...

Katelyn Momota, the Ultimate Psychiatrist!

“...it sounds so horrible when it’s repeated back to me. But, I must face the facts. I’m-”

- - -

*mumbling*

“Aspen? Did you say somethi-”

“WHAT DID YOU DO?!”

“ ! ”

“I told you not to get mad! I told you not to hurt anyone, and look what you did! You’ve... you’ve gone and killed someone, and now I’m going to lose you. I’m gonna lose you, Katelyn!”

“Aspen... Aspen, no. You can’t be upset over me, ok? I’m a killer now. I’m a bad person here.”

“No you’re not! I don’t care what you’ve done, you’re still special to me! I-I can’t lose you! Please don’t go... please...”

Aspen was doubled over on himself, and... I think he was crying oil? 

“I didn’t know the robot could cry-”

“Shut up, Estrella.”

Katelyn looked genuinely confused and concerned. She shook her head.

“No, you... you’re not supposed to be upset over me. You... you shouldn’t be upset over me. You can’t.”

Aspen and Katelyn finally locked eyes. Neither said anything for a moment. Eventually, Katelyn sighed.

“I... I know there is no escaping my fate. But... I wish to do one more thing before I am killed. Monokuma, may I? I will make no attempt to escape.”

Monokuma shrugged.

“Sure, knock yourself out. ...wait, what are you doing?”

And suddenly, Katelyn was running. Not to the exit, not to Aspen, but to...

“...Eh-?! GAH-!”

Katelyn was on her knees either side of a now toppled over Estrella, with her hands around Estrella’s neck. Estrella was grabbing at Katelyn’s Arms, trying to free herself. She was being strangled.

“You BITCH! I should have wasted my damn murder on you!”

“KATELYN!”

“ESTRELLA!”

Two people ran over; Aspen and Aeja. Aeja reached them first, full on jumping at Katelyn and pushing her off Estrella. Aspen helped Estrella sit up, the girl in question being purple in the face and gasping for air. Aeja had Katelyn pinned by her wrists.

“Hah... hah...” 

Estrella looked over at the girls, panting. She looked between them, and I couldn't tell which person confused her more. She nodded at Aspen, trying to stand herself up.

“Katelyn... the fuck?!”

“You... you know what you did to me, you bitch!”

After a moment, Estrella took a deep breath and grinned, placing her arms behind her head.

“Of course I do! And I don’t regret it either, you know. I’m glad I did!”

Katelyn literally growled, and suddenly she shoved Aeja off her, standing up. Estrella jumped a bit, backing up. Aeja looked at Monokuma.

“Monokuma- MONOKUMA!”

Even Monokuma looked surprised at the whole outburst, but he quickly resumed normal behaviour.

“I have a very special punishment for Katelyn Momota, Ultimate Psychiatr- SHIT-!”

With Katelyn quickly approaching Aspen, Monokuma slammed his hammer down on his button.

“Wait- Katelyn!”

#Danganronpa TNG #Katelyn Momota #TNG Spoilers #Trial

[squareissad]

Well if today isn't a fucking shit show. Legit have nowhere to vent but here. Maybe sometimes its best to keep your SO seperate from some of your friends because when shit happens between the two of you, you cant actually talk to anyone about it because then youre badmouthing them. I dont even have another social media or anything to fucking vent on because all of our friends are fucking shared.

Also like, maybe dont pick the whole fight thing via text when i am not even there and i have to sit with a friend and then be social with other people for the rest of the day and shit cause now i gotta put my fucking pretend on like everything is fucking fine when its not and i am on the brink of breaking down and shit.

I fucking hate this. I feel so fuckig stupid and selfish and horrible and i dont know how much of this is legit my fault. Like, i cant fucking move my arm properly so what am i meant to do? My mental health is already in the shitter and i cant decide if im being a manipulative cunt thinking the way i am or if its the mental illness or if what im feeling is actually valid or what. Its so fucking confusing and i hate myself so fucking much.

God, i want to hurt myself so bad right now. Get in my fucking car and drive off a bridge or into a wall or something. Want to scratch and burn and gouge at my fucking arms and legs. Want to just fucking die so everything will just fucking stop.

Why is life so shit? What the fuck is even the point? Why am i here and what does it fucking matter? Why do i have these fucking people in my life who i give a shit about, why couldnt i just be alone so i could just fucking off myself.

I dont even know if i should go home tonight? Do i? Like... i asked if i should come home and fix it but she said that was a bad idea so do i just stay away until she says to come back? Is that being manipulative or conscientious? I dont fucking know. And if i do go home then i guess i should sleep on the sofa, which means no sleep. I dont know. Maybe i will just stay out as late as possible and just... fuck i don't know. Do i avoid her until she says not to? I can go back to the house whilst she is at work and like clean and shit then fuck off again. I can go find somewhere to sit in the car, will have a charger for my phone so i got stuff to do and like 10 gig or data and shit.

I dont know what to do. I cant go anywhere else because then people will know. Cant go to my brothers or my best friends or anything because she knows them all. Cant stay with the friend i am here with because theres no room. Dont have the money for hotel and shit.

Fucking shit this. Hate this fucking life.

And like, after this... what do i do? Like, is this divorce time? Do i need to start looking for a full time job to be able to support myself or go on like job seekers or what? I need to be able to pay the bills if she leaves me. Will she take the dogs or leave them with me when she goes? Probably best she takes them i guess, she can look after them much better than i can, thats assuming i stick around or whatever.

I am so fucked. Dont know how people do this shit. I just want to sleep until im dead. Just be completely not aware of anything and then just fucking die and never have to be anything ever again. I cant be a person anymore, not that i was much of one anyway.

Fuck this.

#tw #suicide #selfharm #depression #divorce #pain

[hitchell-mope]

Just put on the movie

And there we go. The dedication is there.

Oh god the rapping.

My palms will be bloody by the time this is over.

But I like the parallels to the first movie

To much auto tune

There goes my heart Disney.

Oh lord that’s high

Bbys. Smee twins

WHY WASNT DIZZY THERE FROM FILM TWO

There’s my child Celia

MY BOY!!!!

I mean Mal has a point.

He thinks it through

I love him so fucking much

Loving Doug’s hair

Rat bastard. Rat bitch. Rat fairy (Adam belle Verna)

Fuck off leah chad Audrey

😍😍😍😍. This version is better then d1

SUCK IT PASTEL COW

YAAAAAAAAAAAAAY

Oh Evie love. Just tell him you love him

FUCK OFF YOU GERIATRIC BITCH

YES WE WOULD PREFER MAL TO YOU YA BITCH

I hate you Adam and belle

Ben and the other three are adorable family

Still hating Audrey. So. Fucking. Much

Love the purple limo

WHY IS TREMAINE NICE. IT MAKES NO SENSE

Bal parent vibes are strong

They shoulda painted the limo roof purple

Dying of cuteness

Proud fiancé Mal. Love it

Fuck off leah

Here’s papa hades. And the ham.

DRAGON MAL. WHOO HOO

Ah well. Nice while it lasted

NOT HER JOB PASTEL COW

So. Much. Ham.

Poor girl. Ouch.

🤮🤮🤮🤮. I still hate her and her geriatric bitch of a grandmother

Oh bitch please. First words out of your mouth were creel. And it ain’t abated

I’m supposed to be sorry for this sad act? I don’t think so

So. Much. Rapping

Oh. SPARE ME WOMAN

Still theft. Throw her on the isle with her grandmother

Lonely and friendless. Because Mal is so much better then you ya limp noodle

Gotta be bad on the back

YOU DESERVE A SLAP AROUND THE FACE YOU SPOILED BRAT

Seriously though. The actual singing is better then the rapping. So gotta give satah her dues

Fuck off grown ups.

YOU PUT THEN THERE IN THE FIRST FUCKING PLACD

Blue bitch. Just like always belle

Ok. People. You can see it’s hurting bal to do this. KILL THE BEAST

DONT CRY BABY BOY. PLEASE. LAST TIME ALMOST KILLED ME

Murder. The fucking. Parents

Evie. Evie’s sensible. Listen to your sister Mal.

And here comes the guilt. Like always. The narrative blames Mal

That darn cake

Ah. Pain. Hug them now

And jump scare

Oh god. Shut up Audrey. You’re a sore loser

Eh. The prosthesis look ok

Audrey. Nutter. Ben was more then ready to start the honeymoon when Mal was a dragon. Do you really think a hag would stop him?

😂😂😂😂

Oh boy

That’s a lie and you know it bluey.

At least the bikes have an explanation

Why the red for Evie though

And the mutt speaks

Fuck off Chad. I hate you so much

This bitch again

So shrieky.

Kiss ass

Real original

Jump Jane jump!

So many neck cricks

No one tells him anything

Cella’s right Mal

Overly long gag. But cute

Awww 🥰🥰🥰🥰. At least he’s a good dad

Nice reference

And the fear mongering begins.

And here’s the cryptid. He shoulda died in it’s going down

Psycho bitch pirate whore

Cella’s a troll and I love it

The vehicle needs an oil change

At least he’s sleeping. Though that position can not be comfortable

At long last the reveal.

He’s funny. And hot. (I can see where @mochacake2016 is coming from)

We know! We know

And here’s the music

😂😂😂😂.

He’s got a point

Ok.

THERES NO PHONES ON THE ISLAND QUEEN MAL

She actually sounds like jade west here

So far. Besides the proposal. This is my favourite song. Mostly for Hades great looks. Great voice

And the tambourine

Would be better with purple and blue fire effects. But no. We can’t have nice things. They spent the budget on pirate whores make up

She’s got a point. They both do

LISTEN TO HIM

Proud papa

C’mon girl. Cry

Of course she told her sister

He’s a good king.

T-shirt should be ripped.

🤮🤮🤮🤮. Hate her so much

And. Here. We. Go.

Benny. I love you. But did you not hear what she said to Evie when you first met the vks. Of course not. You were lost in Mal’s eyes.

Oh god. PLEASE SOMEBODY GO AND MELT HER

Whore man is probably skunk drunk. Gil’s cute as ever though

Throw hook in the water. And keep it there.

🎶she’s back🎶

And there screwed

He makes feel physically sick

Uma. I love ya. But honestly. Mal owes no one anything. It’s not her job.

No it ain’t

Jay’s got a point

Oh honey

Hook. In the words of the irreverent Captain Jack Sparrow “if the bikes be crashed properly. You be crashed along with it”. Not you Gil. I like you

Mother hen strikes again. Uma ain’t buying what she’s selling

Pure child Celia. (I don’t use this very much but) Gil’s babey (it feels wrong to type£

Chicken arms. No brains. No wit. No dance skills. No rapping skills. Ya basically a walking corpse hook

The dogs giving me a nervous twitch.

I hate the pair of them so no. No sympathy for prince douche bag

Gil makes me cry so simply

Stab the pirate jay. Please. For all of us

Psycho bitch

I want. It. Dead. Brutally. Dead

And more music. If this weren’t Disney they coulda melted them yo pukes of goo and pour it down Harry’s throat.

Oh god

So she can’t count either. Just like her brother

Definitely cha cha slide.

Deep sigh

So much ham.

Here’s a funny idea. How about instead of a bloody pantomime. ACTUALLY FUCKING FIGHT YOU FECKERS

Synchronised armour dancing. That’s new

Oh for fuck sake

Ha ha. Save it for the sob story bitch

What’s next a kick line

Thank god I was wrong.

Hook should be suffocated under the armour right now. Put us out of our misery

Care bear alert

I had to have a flu jab today. And it weren’t as painful as every single nanosecond hooks on screen

Love the platonic affection (I hate the very concept of malvie. What did you expect?)

Mother alert

Don’t eat wild fruit honey

So cute. But so dumb

Oh. Phineas and Ferb reference

Awww babies.

Don’t you dare tell me Mal doesn’t care.

THEY FOUND DOUG

Uma’s so done with care bear bs

More singing. Yay(!)

Please. Remind me again exactly why this is a DCOM. Cause it honestly does not feel like it what with the backstory pirate whores entire existence and the choreography

How has evie not broken a leg in this number.

Believe me Mal and Uma. I feel your frustration they go together like peanut butter and chocolate spread. (Perfectly if you didn’t know)

Where is she going?

She knows how R&J ended right? Double suicide. Why the romanticism huh?

HE IS NOT A RAG DOLL! Though props to Zachary for not corpsing

How can you hate Doug. He’s adorable. Best straight couple ever

There’s ma boy. Rip Harry’s throyatvout plwae.

Ben’s always been hot. But this is definitely working for me.

Awww. Carlos helping his papa

Wet Ben. Yum

Awww. Janelos cuteness.

Love the beard. So good. 🤤🤤🤤🤤

Someone murder the man whore before I do.

He makes me wanna throw up. And I’m not physically capable of doing that

@rpsocsandcanonohmy. I get where you’re coming from. But I also get where Ben is coming from. Sunbeam did get him abducted. And man slut tried to feed him to sharks. So I do understand both points. Doesn’t mean you’re wrong though

JUST. EXPLAIN. HIS MIND IS BEAST ADDLED

Shoulda let Ben slash hooks throat jay. You’re slipping buddy

Mal’s eating crow

Hopefully he chad suffocates. Then she’s have done one thing that wasn’t completely worthlessly reprehensible

🎶feelings🎶

And it had to ruin it

Te-am work. As plankton says

Proud sister

Boys are back. (With dude and the mutt in tow)

YAAAAAAAAAY

I hate happy harry. But I do like happy Uma. Eh. Double edged sword

BAL THIRST. FINALLY

Shoulda gone with Janelos. Jarlos is from big time rush

Oh they’re so cute

Poor Doug.

DOUG AND GIL FRIENDSHIP.

So. Update. Might be like Mal. (Definitely loving Ben’s facial hair)

Yawning over chad. So pathetic

Her seat from him douchey mcuseless

Poor Janey

Cats outta the bag

Once again. I kinda understand all points. Yeah Mal shouldn’t have lied. But Uma didn’t really give her and choice. And Evie just kinda assumed. And no one really lets her explain anything.

Hooks still pathetic. Even hurt emotionally I still wanna punch his roger rabbit looking face (Sorry Roger)

Oh dear

Mal. Don’t apologise. You did what you felt you needed to do. And no gives you a chance to explain. Ever.

Yes. You needed to do what you could.

Excellent acting all around as usual

Evie. Look. I love you. Your favourite number seven. But WHY IS IT YOUR SISTERS JOB. WHY DOES EVERYONE MAKE IT MALS PROBLEM

Ha! Evie said it. She said family.

Oh fuck. Taken for granite

More singing.

Monster/story/invincible

I do want to stab Harry in the mouth with the hook

More flashback. Yay(.). Couldn’t they fill out the runtime

Flashbacks. TO THE START OF THE SO G THE FLASHBACK IS FROM. OH FOR FUCK SAKES

More dragon.

Audrey’s performance might make me a vegetarian

How is it not crushed by the claws?

Fire should be green

Yay. Auds dead. Please say yes?

The twins say literally one thing

From magical incantation to vaguely irritating verbal tick. Well alright then

Evie. Why do you sound so sad. It’s a good thing Audrey’s dying. The ultimate price and all that. You should be glad. It’s a good thing

Mal: he’s my father. Ben: shocked face. Me: makes a sound like a boiling kettle

Bye bye facial hair

Die slut

More eating crow

The in laws meet

Exactly hades. Exactly. Knee beast in the dick

God Ben’s so hot.

Bite Adam’s throat out please hades

Should’ve let Audrey waste away. And sent granny to Tartarus to meet her

OH SPARE ME YOUR BLEEDING HEART ROUTINE! I still hate you in a fundamental level

OH FINALLY YOU GERIATRIC BITCH

Nice little family moment

What the fuck is Evie’s dress?

Queen Mal has a very nice ring to it.

Sure you can. You owe them noting. You owe nobody anything

Jay has a pull back braid in his hair. Yay!

“Audrey would be gone”. You say it as though that’s a bad thing

“Insert woody woodpecker laugh”. Fuck you Adam

Compromise. Bring the vks over. And plop Adam Audrey chad anleah on the isle. Sink it into the ocean

Why didn’t Verna bring the barrier down. Oh yeah. Cause then she’d be useful

More singing

At least this takes place in daylight

I still hate harry

Push Harry in the drink please. IM LITERALLY BEGGING YOU

God I love Ben and Doug

Why the Charleston?

I still hate tremaine

Well. Jane. In ZM. You met Mal. She’s Carlos’s mother in this au

Giljay. It’s cute

So Harry makes me ill right upbto the end. Now he’s related to purple and blue

🎶a bitch is in the dog house🎶. And deservedly so

🤮🤮🤮🤮

Sweet little king

Oh boy

Whore has a turkey neck

This is the end. Good movie. With some unneeded bits. I’m gonna change a lot in ZM part three. And both dedications broke me.

#disney descendants #descendants 3 #anti harry x chad #anti harry x doug #anti harry x jane #harry x jay #anti harlos #anti malvie #anti haudrey #anti benrry #anti harry hook #anti audrey daughter of sleeping beauty #anti chad charming