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fandomregression · 1 year

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uhhh tim as a regresser? i know hes usually a cg in your fics but i kinda relate to him so much

while i see him mainly as a cg, thats mostly bc i want him to be my cg, but i absolutely see how he could be a regressor so rAMBLING TIIIIIIIME

Regressor Tim Stoker Headcanons!

so tim starts regressing actually kinda young, in his early teens, because he's always lived in his brother's shadow. always been the second, despite being the older child, and its. hard. he pretends everything's okay and he isnt jealous, but he wants. needs. attention too

he learns what regression is exactly in university, and he kinda just shrugs and says 'yep that tracks' and pushes it to the side. let's bury that problem and deal with it later! that's a problem for Future Tim!

future tim is very mad and small, now. he spends a lot of time crying into his pillow and hugging his childhood stuffie, a little doggy named spot, until he falls asleep

he tries to basically never let dating partners find out abt his regression that doesn't seem like a good thing

a few of them do, and a couple try their hands at being cgs. they give up because tim is "too much" for them to handle

then danny dies, and tim spirals

hes just really, really not okay. he spends so much of his time trying to research what happened, trying to learn about the circus, trying to find anything that explains why his little brother is dead, and he can't figure it out. and he just tears himself apart over it. he's on the verge of regressing pretty much all the time, he's crying his eyes out all the time, and everything is bad. by the time he starts working at the magnus institute, he's a shell of a man whose head always feels like its swimming

then he meets jon, and he can tell there's something familiar in the ways he acts. tim's almost certain jon is a regressor, and well...he's nothing if not a good big brother. and he's a big brother who really, really welcomes this distraction from the fact that his little brother is dead

he does his best to keep jon out of trouble and take care of him, but he's well aware of his own headspace encroaching on all of this. its not easy. little things that tim does for jon are things that make tim regress, so its. not going too well!

until they meet sasha :)

sasha notices these two are a lil different pretty quickly. its become even more evident when they're researching a case, end up at a park, and jon and tim are playing on the playground like little kids

tim is very excited about this, and he absolutely climbs on top of the monkey bars and shouts for sasha

"sasha! sasha! look at me!!! :D!!!" "i see you! you're up so high!!"

she pushes them both on the swings, she pushes them both on the merry-go-round, and it feels just so natural to them

(tim picks her some dandelions and clovers, too, and sasha adores it)

after that day, when tim's big again, he realizes that sasha was able to actually play with both of them and pay attention to tim even though he was bigger than jon...sasha actually wanted to take care of *tim* and jon at the same time...and he didn't feel neglected...

(he cried himself to sleep again that night, but he wasn't sure why it felt so painful) (its the neglect trauma)

at work, tim basically just starts feeling a pull toward sasha a lot of the time, and he's terrified of being too much for her, but he...he needs this...

if he finds a cool bug, he takes a picture to show her. cool rock, he takes it inside and gives it to her. he likes to draw little doodles on his sticky notes and give them to her, and it absolutely makes his heart soar every single time she sticks them to her monitor. he's just. thriving off the affection

jon is the first one to explain regression, and he expects both tim and sasha to just push him away. he is absolutely not expecting tim to say he's a regressor too (how jon didn't notice? well...poor baby's not very observant...) and they're both not expecting sasha to just say "oh i know, who wants a juice box?"

both just. malfunctioning

tim does regress older than jon, usually around 6-8, and he takes his job as big bubby VERY seriously. he holds jon's hand when they do anything, he is always imparting his wisdom (which has been "red crayons taste bad" and variations of that multiple times), and he tries to let jon get more attention from sasha

sasha does not take too well to that last one. she notices pretty quickly that tim sacrifices himself for jon, and that just won't fly. so, extra hugs. extra kisses. lots of one-on-one playtime. tim cries a lot over this

then they move down to the archives and yay!! martin!!! now tim and jon have a mama and a papa and its even easier for them to both get the attention they need (especially tim, who doesn't feel as guilty when there's two cgs he can go to whichever one isn't handling jon)

tim has a lot of games he likes to play, and he has quite a few stuffies, but a lot of the time he likes playing nintendo with martin (and jon watches and tells him how cool he is)

sasha and martin both learn pretty quickly that anything circus/clown themed is very much a no-no with tim. if he's already regressed, its the quickest way to a panic attack he can get. if he isn't regressed, he will be very shortly, and then the panic attack happens

at that point its just...hugs and comfort until he can stop crying

when it comes down to it, he's just glad to finally have this sort of support system. to have multiple people who care about him and actually try

#fandom agere #age regression #sfw agere #🧸headcanons #tma agere #agere tim stoker #THIS WENT ON FOREVER #AHHHHH #i ran out of ideas at the end can you tell #also im glad you specified that i usually write him a cg bc i'm in mechanisms brainrot rn #so when i first saw the notif for this ny mind immediately went to gunpowder tim #but then to my delighted surprise its my boy!! my special boy!!!#but also for some ungodly reason my brain decided to also read 'tim meredith' into this so i cant read this back without hearing it #in tim's trexel voice. which is concerning #why are there so many tims

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dr3amofagame · 4 months

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i know this is a kinda cursed question but what would be the birdhouse au guys in omegaverse?

tbh i don't have as exciting of an answer for you as you'd probably like bc the premise of the AU hangs so heavily on the idea of these guys being alternate versions of each other that having them have different secondary genders doesn't reeeeally make that much sense, but hey why not here's a few hypotheticals under the cut:

the most obvious scenarios in this case are sams all alphas + dreams all omegas, and sams all omegas + dreams all alphas in terms of like, traditionally how omegaverse ship content tends to pan out. so we'll start from here. regardless of who's who, the uh Biological Compatibility, let's say, is a draw and repellant to both the dreams and the sams, depending on who and when and in what context. j!Dream is absolutely down to babytrap himself into more privileges, especially if he's capable of becoming pregnant. c!Dream is deathly afraid of that same possibility. j!Sam is uhhh well. He's Got Feelings about the whole idea of being ~meant to be~ biologically and also afraid that it'll be used against him through Dream's Manipulations (whether he's an alpha or omega, in this scenario)--depending on the scenario, he's definitely ping-ponging between putting Way too much emphasis on the secondary sex thing or completely ignoring its existence. ummm ff!Sam kindaaa dgaf besides how it all justifies stuff sexually like he's just horny that's it.

if either sam or dream are betas, then that whole like "inherent compatibility" thing wouldn't exist and affect their dynamics. if the sams were betas, they'd definitely like appreciate the relative detachment biologically, especially when compared to ruts/heats where dream loses control while sam gets to keep it. if the dreams are betas, then sam is probably keeping them pretty far away from ruts/heats just bc they don't like the feeling of being vulnerable like that in front of dream.

if we have alpha/alpha or omega/omega, i kinda almost feel like there'd be a point of proving how dream is "evil" because he's...a worse alpha or omega? not from a sexual standpoint, but like, just in general. the similarities are kinda discomfiting to sam and sam is making a general effort to put some distance there. dream is a bad alpha bc he's overly domineering and doesn't give a crap about his pack, dream is a bad omega because he's not nurturing enough and too assertive or whatever stupid excuse etc. and beta/beta is just kinda normal ig.

i'm boring, i feel like there's stuff that could technically be explored in all these scenarios but alpha sams + omega dreams kinda works best for the format and characterizations. (for the record, i'm not talking abt coparents here bc that's not my turf, though i'm 90% sure that theyd both be alphas? ik angela has said pream alpha before.) w/ mayfair specifically, a lot of what makes it go down the way it does is j!awesamdream kinda just kinda diving headfirst into craziness just bc nothing's there to stop them, and i feel like being enabled biologically fits much better for their whole Progression compared to if biology were to work against their whole dynamic. pre-birdhouse, j!sam is seeing mayfair as the Ultimate Victory, and like. him and dream and a perfect house, his prisoner, his omega, whatever? combined with the ways that four square would deeefinitely touch on this in an omegaverse AU, it's really the perfect excuse for him (and dream) to let biology run its course and uh, take over. it's the perfect excuse for him to see dream as his and the perfect excuse for them to just, go fucking nuts with it. so they go fucking nuts with it.

j!dream would prefer being an omega like for the record. like i mean there are a whole host of reasons but also like bc he's a little dumbass a huge one is literally just convenience. yeah it's not hard to carry lube around everywhere but it's the principle of the matter you know. c!dream, on the other hand, is even more high-strung and anxious than he is in canon bc of this whole deal nuh uh do not pass go do not collect $200 GET HIM OUT OF HERE [rattles the bars of his cage] etc. heats would be. an especially sore spot--a point of abject terror before he gets involved with anyone and kinda just awful when he does join the hell polycule; sam isn't cruel during them, but that doesn't really make the lack of control feel better. especially when his sync up with j!dream. sam...probably isn't going to get him suppressants tho 😭also jmah!duo are too stupid to be biologically compatible the chances of j!dream getting knocked up and dying are astronomically high whenever it's possible

in terms of like, allowing for a little more variability between the sams and the dreams, i'd say that p!dream as stated earlier would likely be an alpha. c!dream and j!dream have to be the same it's part of the premise for their universes that's not gonna change, omega for them and alpha for j!sam again for the reasons outlined above yes i'm boring. i can totally see ff!sam as either a beta or an omega. omega ff!sam is really awful in a kinda funny way kenjo would probably support the "let ff!sam have a baby" agenda but i think all of the rest of us are against his parenting. p!sam is...im pretty sure he's an alpha but im not sure that's angela's turf. there's something a little funny to me personally with birdhouse involving alpha trans guy pream + omegas cis guys c/jream i wont lie like i think theyd kinda make a joke or two about that.

just for like, very general non-secondary gender specific notes? pheremone stuff allows for another means of communication that doesn't easily allow for lying, for better and for worse. there's a lot of fear in this house. it probably lingers in the corners. the basement reeks of it. it makes it a little more obvious too when someone's had sex, which i mean, it's not like they were subtle before but yknow. mating/bonds kinda work differently i think depending on how people's omegaverse rules work But i think j!sam in general hesitates on initating mating bonds like, for awhile. ff!sam has no desire to be mated to either j! or c!dream; they're prisoners. not mates. i actually do like the idea of er j!sam ending up claiming j!dream during a very specific incident, especially when the creation of a bond incorporates like a level of greater sensitivity? or whatever to the other's emotions, or like outright emotional telepathy in some versions. j!sam can't admit the drive behind why he did what he did, especially in the scenario in which he does it, but also the added connection to j!dream is. somewhat intoxicating. uhh h what else exists in omegaverse...the added biological component to the conditioning for j!Dream is. errrr. bad. really bad. mayfair probably gets cranked up to a higher intensity than it already is which is insane considering mayfair (gestures vaguely again at the whole, theyre too stupid to be biologically compatible thing, technically j!sam is probably careful enough to remember birth control consistently but i dont trust this mans for my life). no clue what theyd smell like for the damn record. maybe cinnamon, for c/jream. either like cinnamon/vanilla/warm spice-y or something like, clean and fresh and very faintly floral, mostly like grass. shrug. ummmm idk idk .. sam would fucking love having an alpha voice holee fuck this guy was already talking to dream with a bad dog voice in the prison break. tho he basically like engineers that without omegaverse in jmah already bc he's a freak. the ways theyd work with and against their instincts is kinda interesting? anyway yea that's it

#omegaverse #my asks !!#birdhouse AU #lmao long ass post abt this #j!sam is so funny. yeah we're meant to be yeah he's my one and only yeah i'm devoting my whole life to him yeah he's made for me #but calling him my partner or my mate. now that's going too far #guy is totally fixated on the whole alpha/omega of it all while denying that he has any interest in mating him like. okay man.#i totally forget omegaverse Lore (tm) sooo hopefully i'm not missing anything crucial #and also this is wholly cringe and i embrace it LMAO

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considerablecolors · 2 years

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thinking about how once curt starts treating barb a bit better and they become closer and are just peak adhd/autism solidarity so here's some Thoughts on neurodivergent spies (also ignore that half of these terms didn't exist back then it's fine shhh):

barb swaying on her feet and twirling her hair infodumping about technology and curt gets all excited and starts stamping his feet and talking about spy history

sometimes they'll have sessions where one of them just infodumps for a long-ass time while the other listens but sometimes their interests connect and they just. lose it. like curt is talking about ways to make learning languages easier and barb's like what if there was a device to automatically translate things for you and curt goes HOLY SHIT.

curt will pull barb aside sometimes and be like "does cynthia hate me or is it just the rsd" and barb's like "i thought you were into me for years do you think i understand social cues any better than you do???"

"hey curt i was talking with tatiana and telling her about this thing i do but she said most people don't do that. is this a Symptom?" "nah i do that all the time!" "oh god it IS a Symptom then."

barb. inventing. new stim toys. and curt gets to test them out first!!!

going out to dinner and barb being like "oh uhhhh-" because there's nothing there she can eat because Texture y'know but curt Gets It and just immediately is like "hey can we go somewhere else i don't really wanna eat here" so she doesn't have to say anything

curt gets injured all the time obviously and always hates certain bandages because Sticky Scratchy Texture y'know and barb just casually one day is like "i made a new type of bandage for you :)" and curt almost breaks down crying.

barb getting overstimulated sometimes from listening to all the noise happening during a mission while she's on call with them so curt sets up a way for them to just message on the watch so that when she needs it he can mute his microphone for her

owen asking barb questions to make sure he's understanding and treating curt properly. and curt finds out and is so touched.

owen being like "i'm glad you guys have each other but idk. i don't want to be mean at all but you guys always talk about shit that's supposed to be a symptom of neurodivergency but i mean i've experienced most of those things for my entire life and i'm neurotypical." "......you what." "oh god owen..."

owen "if i don't click my gun three times before each mission then Something Bad will happen idk what but i Can't start this mission until i've read this case file three times because three is a Good Number but that's all totally normal right" carvour going "i don't have ocd what are you talking about" "yes bud you do"

curt starts consciously setting aside time before missions for owen to compete any ritual he needs to feel comfortable

owen's very embarrassed by it at first but one day curt goes "hey. if three is the big number, then i better give you three kisses right?"

owen blushes very hard and refuses to admit it

they tell tatiana later and this prompts a bunch of friendly teasing because "how could you not realize that carvour lol. anyways can someone help me file this case file i'm not good with reading." "what do you mean?" "oh you know when you're trying to read and the letters are just floating around?"

"....tatiana."

curt and tatiana as dyscalculia/dyslexia buddies that help each other out. tatiana will help curt with math and curt helps tatiana with reading and writing, and it works out really well bc tatiana likes math and curt likes reading and writing <3

the Squad is having a conversation one day and the informant keeps clearing their throat. and everyone is just like "hey. you uh. you need a lozenge bro? you good? you need water? you need a cough drop? are you okay?" and everytime he's like "yes im fine haha don't worry about it"

but stuff like that Keeps happening

the gang chalk it up to just another quirky thing abt them until the informant gets really stressed out one day and is just clearing their throat Again and Again

this master of disguise has tourettes babeyyy

when they're in situations where she has to be quiet, she's just sitting there desperately holding her tics in. and the minute the mission is over, before they go out to celebrate they sit in the car for a minute and let the informant get everything out of their system

sometimes when he's in a crowd and the informant's ticcing is bad enough that he starts getting self conscious, everyone else just starts helping him cover them up

the informant, ticcing: "are you SURE this isn't annoying?" curt, playing with a very loud and squeaky tangle fidget toy: "i gotta be real with you i literally didn't even notice man."

it's not something they really talk about with anyone besides each other. but one day, without saying anything, they show up to an agency meeting and cynthia just goes "susan?" and susan brings out a little bowl of stim toys and just. sets them in the middle of the table.

everyone just casually grabs one throughout the meeting. cynthia does not address this but sue enough. every meeting afterwards there is always a bowl on the table.

"cynthia, may i ask-" "susan, when mega is playing with a fucking stretchy worm he is more focused on what i have to say than i have ever seen him. we are keeping them." "understood."

"....hey cynthia, can i-" "sure, take your pick susan."

#let's play a game called spot which parts are me projecting /hj #spies are forever #tin can bros #cc speaks #*paul voice* promise me you'll think about the implications (saf meta)#neurodivergency #autism #adhd #ocd #dyslexia #dyscalculia #tourettes

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boobchuy · 2 years

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Did you like the finale? I personally liked it, except for maybe a few things, but I’ve seen a lot of ppl saying they don’t like it on twt. I really like your art so I’m just curious lol

anon I'm gonna use this chance to brainvomit my thoughts about it I hope u dont mind but u gave me the opening so I MUST BITE IT LIKE A RABID DOG

but, tl;dr is that I loved the finale as a whole, w a few gripes here and there bc nothing is perfect and that's okay

To be more specific, here is me crying and rambling <3

Things that I liked :))

* first and foremost, this is the story that matt has had in his vision for years. this is what he wanted to do, what amphibia stands for, just a big metaphor for change, and just for that alone I love this finale to bits, and will hold it dear in my heart for many years to come.

* I got what I wanted and MORE, that is; rule of three anne dying. this has been something I've been looking forward to since I joined the fandom and saw a post abt how Marcy and Sasha almost died in season finales, and wondering whos turn it was next. just. The whump of it all, y'know. AND THE OUTCOME AND CONSEQUENCE, IS SO MUCH BIGGER AND BETTER TO EXPLORE THAN I COULDVE INITIALLY THOUGHT

I don't know about you but knowing that Anne's tied to this powerful entity, to see that scene of her talking with god, essentially, it just manages to scritch a really good part of my brain. There's just, so much to explore from that scene, and it was such a pleasant surprise even if it feels quite a bit sudden LOL. for all intents and purposes, the little kid in me is screaming that it's very very cool, and I can't wait to attempt and make it cooler. (Plus, the AUs of just this one scene can inspire are ENDLESSSSS, so excited to dig into it more)

* calamity trio fight scene. Need I say more. TJ hill I need the soundtrack of that it was so uplifting and cool and ughuh legend. You can tell the absolute fun and love that was put into it, from the character gestures, the expressions I fucking adore it so much. Easily the happiest part of the finale, a glimmer of light for how much the episode broke me :)

* ANDRIAS. andrias. Andrias... (Weeping). the reunion parallel. it broke me. and even though he's done a lot of bad things, and that's putting it lightly, I'm glad that he lived. I just can't help but feel sad for the kind of past he has, and I'm happy that he's given a chance to heal. that, along with the fact that just killing him off is the easy way out- make him do the work of trying to heal what he has destroyed; him being shown planting seeds and making things grow, with parts of his old friends attached on his person, it's a quiet, peaceful moment for him, and a very satisfying one for me.

* this is moreso a confession than me listing a pro. right up to the last few weeks of amphibia's finale, I had this really really really quiet fear in the back of my head that the plantars might get shoved aside in favor of calamity trio ToT, that's just the brain making up dumb problems, of course, and though as heartbreaking as it could be, I enjoyed that the show proved that wrong for me.

I fell in love with their characters, and the farewell scene with the plantars, it's so so so dear to my heart. Anne calling Polly her little sister, every word that hop pop said to Anne, the cut to sprig as he gripped his hat tight, tearing up. The way Anne's face was so scrunched up as she tried to comfort him. That last spranne hug, how it was animated so well, how heartfelt it was. God. I've been crying since I mentioned Polly while I typed this. That goodbye scene is everything, and even if people didn't like it for the sadness it caused, they shot it out of the park. Most emotional I've been in the show, tops.

* I went on a whole tangent about it on twitter yesterday, but Anne's death scene is equally as heart wrenching. I won't go over it like I did, but the two key moments that really broke me was when sprig and frobo brought her down, sprig was SMILING. trying to reassure himself and Anne that everything's gonna be okay, and there's this moment where he looks to the others as if saying 'its gonna be okay, right?', and the cut to Sasha and Marcy's heartbroken and horrified expressions. ITS JUST SO (pls excuse my language) FUCKING. FUCK FHCK FJCK. the the other moment, was Anne still managing to crack a joke and making her fam (AND MYSELF MIGHT I FUCKING ADD, HOW DARE YOU MAKE ME CRY LAUGH AS YOU DIE) laugh one last time before she turns into leaves

* the future time skip designs. *eats them*

my other feelings 👍;

* THIS MIGHT SEEM LIKE A CONTROVERSIAL OPINION. BUT. it felt, really off-putting and sad for me that Anne chose to be a herpetologist. IT FELT LIKE SHE WAS BEING STUCK IN THE PASTTTT, holding onto those memories for as long as she could. the strongest of feelings I've had w that has long since worn down as the hours went by, though. I want to believe that she eventually either grows to love this job genuinely for the sake of how happy it makes her, or she branches out more onto other things that aren't just related to frogs.

* I feelll like they could have done a better job tweaking sasharcys dialogue in the time skip. I don't mind that it was 10 years later, and IVE BEEN A FIRM BELIEVER ON SASHANNARCY GETTING SEPARATED SINCE THE VERY START, but, the part about how it's implied that once Marcy moved, they haven't kept in touch 😭??? hence her asking then on how Sasha and Anne have been doing only 10 years later??? I know we grow apart but I don't think it'd be that quick ... I think, I'll just chalk it up to them having not that much leeway on how to stir the conversation in that direction. Otherwise, sasharcys job careers make my heart feel full, they've really grown into themselves, into people that we didn't expect, and I think that that's wonderful.

* I don't really feel all that negative about the fact that the portal between worlds doesn't work anymore, mostly bc, I refuse to believe that it isn't possible ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

canon didn't even really imply there being one, but that didn't stop them from encouraging it a little bit. the stone guardian giving anne those last crumbs of power to go home is an orchard ripe for picking that says just how much more could be explored. And I wasn't as devastated because genuinely, I do believe there's a day where they will see each other again, whether that gets confirmed or not, it's something I'll hold to dear to myself til I eventually, move on from amphibia too.

#man this was long sorry for the word dump anon i hope u dont mind HAHA #.txt #talking to frogs #i dont know how to sum up my feelings very well but i hope u get the Vibe #amphibia spoilers

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spammmies · 9 months

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sometimes i’ll see a vid and remember that cis ppl rly don’t realise that trans ppl r human.

context: i saw a video from a cis woman ranting about the “period debate” and how that made her feel as someone with pcos. she mostly just spoke about the very real horrors ppl w pcos go through. at the start, she briefly touched on how the phrase “periods don’t belong to women” means different things in different spaces- like in trans inclusive spaces it just acknowledges that trans men and some non binary ppl can get periods too.

but still. somehow. the op and all the commenters. forgot. that pcos is not exclusive to cis ppl.

trans ppl. can have pcos too.

trans ppl can be afflicted with the same shit cis ppl do.

trans ppl are

HUMAN

the vid really rubbed me the wrong way- almost like a centrist Trying to placate the trans community by giving us a shout out, but really she’s still speaking from a place of fear instilled by transphobes. she goes right back to centring herself as a cis woman- “sure we don’t own periods but we can’t disown them” first of all, no one is asking you to disown them. what does that even mean? and how does that help any of us? second of all, how does this relate to trans people?

there was a lot of “well if trans women want periods they can take mine lol” and “why would anyone want periods??? it’s hellish and oppressive” and while i’m not a trans woman, i can safely say that not many people actually Want periods. people Want to be affirmed. people Want to be respected. and that’s the thing cis ppl fundamentally misunderstand abt trans ppl. when a 11 yr old girl is excited for her first period, she’s not excited for the period. she’s excited for the symbolism- the womanhood or the coming of age. same fkn shit!! it’s not ABOUT the period!!!! literally all we want is to be seen and treated as human. even then, most of this “debate” isn’t ABOUT trans women or non binary ppl!!! it’s about the trans men and non binary ppl that still menstruate!!!!! it’s abt including us and improving trans healthcare and period care!!! which i KNOW is still pretty vague but forgive me i’m typing at 2am!!!!!

i’ve blocked the op now, because my insides kept getting itchy over how the vid felt transphobic but if i called attention to it, i would look silly or sensitive because it’s something only trans ppl are receptive to. the comments were FULL of cis women being super appreciative and agreeing wholeheartedly- which was weird because it also felt like op said a whole lot of nothing. 3 min vid: “pcos bad and Only cis women’s experience with misogyny is tied to it” comments: “WOOO PREACH YES FINALLY SOMEONE SAID THIS”

though i do wish i didn’t chicken out and i actually asked these guys something:

how are we mocking you for having periods/pcos? is it really mocking, or are you feeling defensive because people are trying to tell you you’re not the only ones that deal with this shit?

does being told that this experience isn’t inherently womanly somehow take something from you? does it somehow deny your reality? well it shouldn’t, you’re more than welcome to link your own period and reproductive capabilities to your womanhood! just know that period=woman or period=feminism is nowhere near universal.

finally, does realising that trans people are human, and that they share experiences with you, threaten you?

tldr cis ppl r irritating me bc covert transphobia is SO annoying when u cant do anything abt it

#i’m gonna be very liberal with my block button so. don’t be surprised if this disappears #at this point i’m blocking on pure vibes so don’t take it personally lmao #transphobia #covert transphobia #period #pcos

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moonchildstyles · 2 years

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Older h deciding to surprise his girl with a romantic cooked dinner on a Friday but she had a bad day at work and she walks in and sees him candles lit wearing an apron finishing something on the stove 🥺he hears her and baby you’re just in time I’m almost done! but then turns around and her hands covering her face bc she’s just so overwhelmed she had the worst day and H is just perfect 🥺🥺and he comes over no what’s wrong honey what happened and she just 🥺🥺I had the worst day at work it was so bad and he just hugs her I’m sorry baby let’s her cry for a bit and then tells her to why don’t you go change and wash her face and then you can tell be abt it over dinner hm? I got your favorite wine and she’s 🥺🥹🥺I’m sorry h you made me all this so romantic and I ruined it already and he’s all nonono baby you didn’t ruin anything and she changes into h’s sweatshirt and comes back down and tells him about the coworker who doesn’t respect me at all h he just looks down on me and thinks I’m so stupid I hate it and he gives her advice 🥺🥺🥺and then they watch a movie on the couch and maybe have tipsy sweet sex after 🥹🥹and he just always makes even the worst days better 🥺🥺🥺

Omg🥺🥺🥺🥺 h would be all excited to surprise her getting all her favorite things and dressing up extra nice for her so it feels fancy and special even if they’re just at his house and when he hears her come through the door he’s so excited calling to her that he’s almost done until he hears her sniffle and sweetheart? That’s when he sees her puffy eyes and she’s got her hands all bundled in her sweatshirt and Harry? And he doesn’t even think before he’s wrapping her up and what’s wrong honey? What happened? I’m right here it’s okay and she’s already apologizing like I’m so sorry you made everything so special and now I’m getting mascara on your shirt I’m so sorry I had such a shit day I’m sorry:( but he tells her over and over don’t be sorry pretty girl nothing to be sorry for don’t be like that okay? And he’s pulling her back w a soft smile on his face as he’s wiping away her tears and okay now who do I have to go beat up for making you cry sweetheart? Just teasing her but at the same time he knows he would really do it if she asked and that’s how they end up sharing one plate of food w her on his lap as she tells him ab her day and gets a little teary in the middle before h is kissing her face and helping her calm down before she continues and he’s feeding her little bites making sure she’s eating something since he knows she’s going to be tired after all this crying and I can see them cuddling up on the couch and kissing a little bit she ends up falling asleep in his chest just telling him thank u🥺 for being so good to her🥺

#anon #ask #Prosecco inspo #concept

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janethealien · 20 days

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uhm.

(WAIT FUCK I DIDN'T MEAN TO POST THIS EARLY AHAJHAHHDDHHSH IGNORE PLSPLSPLS)

screw you im gonna talk abt jane au...

slight warning???? ig theres gonna be a lot of dark stuff....uhm please remember it is a self insert kind of but not really!!! i put underneath cut because am a little nervous,,,:( also it's gonna b a little long I think and spoilers

its a mari lives au!!! five years after recital specifically:3 mari apologizes for not recognizing sunny's struggling since kel notices sunny's behavior beforehand, and tells hero, who in turn goes to talk to mari about it:p they make up and everything goes great!! though afterwards sunny only does recitals with mari occasionally and focuses on drawing

aubrey and basil live together

ships are suntan, cotton candy, roselily!!

ok so basically jasper info (i remake because old looked kinda ugly,,,)

jasper is 18

chatty when she's excited, a little clingy too around people she likes. uh though she is very reclusive and quiet because she lacks social skills:v is also terrible at expressing her feelings, and talks awkwardly,,

at first glance, she seems very normal and kel meets her and tries to get her to open up more cause she's lonely. this obviously works and she is introduced to the rest of the gang

relationships:

aubrey: they get along, though aubrey is initially uninterested, she gets used to her!! jasper sees her as a sort of sister figure, but probably won't admit it,,,

basil: neutral relationship,, basil is a bit too nervous to warm up so easily, but he does like her energy:3 jasper does not mind him at all but she really isn't interested either,,,,,

hero: pretty strong obviously!! both being kel's brother and his general vibes, jasper is very drawn to him:) hero also doesn't mind her either, and is glad she's opening up

(jane lore for context... main characters are ALWAYS off-put by her because of literal main character energy.. no matter how hard she disguises herself or changes her personality, they are always unsettled by her)

sunny: wants to be her friend because of how similar they are, but is nervous and uncomfortable.. jasper doesn't really pay attention to him however

DISCLAIMER!! :( : please note I am not trying to support or glorify the behaviour that jasper/jane has towards anyone, but specifically towards kel!! she is NOT supposed to be redeemable or forgiven>:(

kel: likes her a lot!! not over sunny ofc, but she is very talkative to him and excited 24/7!! jasper is pretty much attached to him, she clings to him a lot bc she loves him,,

jane: is the true jasper. she plays with people like they're just cheap toys, and does it all the time. besides, she can just respawn them like nothing happened. she's practically a god after all, she can do anything. obsessed with kel, she likes to mess with him the most.

general note: nerfed version of jane!!! she isn't self aware and can't teleport or manipulate reality!! she also isn't immortal and can be killed with a lot of effort

MAIN PLOT!!!! (sorta.. its a wip..)

sunny is in whitespace, which still exists. it is now a comfort space, where he can go to relax in silence while he's sleeping... though he suddenly looks over into the vast whiteness...

... there's SOMEONE in the distance. they disappear before sunny can inspect further. whoever it was, they leave him awake in a cold sweat.

who was that?

kel meets jasper, he has seen her around a few times but she has always been alone and away from everyone. so he decides she needs a friend, as he feels bad for her. jasper immediately warms up to him, and she is excited to have a friend.

jasper is slowly introduced to the rest of the gang, which also includes the Hooligans because of aubrey. almost everyone seems to like her so far, but she is obviously more attached to kel if anything. he didn't seem to mind too much though, seeing it as an improvement in her mood. sunny is more uncomfortable if anything. he feels bad and a bit selfish for it, but he just can't bring himself to truly get to know her. he just observes her behaviour for now, hoping that he's just paranoid.

over the span of a few weeks, stuff begins to happen.

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depresseddepot · 11 months

Text

live blogging my starfield thoughts under the cut

- the music is interesting. I'm crazy about it in some scenes but others feel almost like minecraft music? Not a bad thing at all but definitely an interesting direction

- do you think you get to pick your crew/recruit different npcs??? Also: YES GOD ANALOG SCIENCE FICTION. YESSSSSSSSSS my alien: isolation heart is so fucking excited abut that!!!

- ahhh, I see how they got around the "open world" question. I was wondering how they would make a game that could run well w that many locations completely open world that didn't feel empty. I'm not too upset abt it tbh, I'd rather it play and run well than be completely open world. I feel like the expanse of space would get boring going from solar system to solar system after a while anyways

- new atlantis. What a metal name lol

- CONTRABAND????? YESSSSSSSSSSS

- oh im getting dbh vibes. Im trying so hard to be normal but its not working very well

- i hope there are parts of this game that's like. Scary. Horror lol

- oh that good old bethesda conversation zoom in with absolutely no emotion

- "the united colonies" now. girl i don't know about that

- the freestar space system looks cool DANCING HUMANS IN ALIEN SUITS????

- CHARACTER CREATION PORTION LETS GO

- walk style yes. im a little disappointed by the customization being only blending facial morphs together but until i mess w it myself ill have no idea what it can actually do

- BACKGROUNDS YESSSSS. TRAITS YESS. THE ADORING FAN YES HE CAN JOIN YOUR CREW????? also you can choose the trait where you just have parents you can go visit AHSHHAJAJA.

- THEY KILLED HIM????

- ohhh the skills are challenge based now. I actually like that a lot, it tells you specifically what to do to upgrade that skill.

- vents....omg.

- i wonder what earth is going to be like? is it destroyed etc? I want to walk on OUR moon

- OHHH YOU CAN CHANGE THE SHAPE OF YOUR SHIP >>>>>

- ugh. our character is so badass

- some of these ships are NOT capable of spaceflight btw but I can suspend my disbelief for the excitement lmfao

- ill admit, the ship battle system looks EXTREMELY irritating to control for me personally, so I hope they have things that help aim/steering.

- sandwiches are the new cheese wheel lmfao

- GRANDMA?????????????? OH MY GOD IS THAT THE SKYRIM GRANDMA? IM GOING TO START CRYING

- i cannot wait to play this game. This is the first game i want to play without any spoilers bc i want to explore so badly

- the lighting is so hazy and nice....the quiet sandy moons....im so excited....

- so it seems like the artifacts give you special abilities a la shouts??? I don't care abt guns so i have nothing else to say on the weapons section lol

- ohhh IM SO EXCITED. ITS FINALLY HERE

0 notes

troglobite · 1 year

Text

laskdjflaskdjf

retroactively caveating this: if we're mostly/p much only internet friends, the dynamic is so entirely different that none of this really applies. i'm talking ppl i've known almost my whole life, and/or ppl i know irl and would be meeting w in person if not for ongoing covid.

------

sitting here thinking

realizing some things

previously it felt like the tiny number of friends i had/have were only ever interested in using me for their needs and purposes

previous friend group was always talking about everyone else's problems--for hours, days, weeks on end. nothing ever changing.

when i brought my stuff up it halted the entire conversation

i would complain and get nothing in response.

someone else in the group would, out of the blue, make a big request or set a big boundary and it was no problem

but my small requests, discomforts, and boundaries were always treated as Too Much.

and previously i've always thought--it's partly my fault, partly the fault of all friends i've had, that friends always relied on me and sought my advice and instruction and wanted me to do things for them, but didn't ever want to do things for me.

but i'm also realizing now--

well i mean i sort of have always known as well, but in general people. don't take an interest in the things i'm interested in. they don't want to hear about it or listen to me talk abt it.

my mom is the only person who puts up with my infodumping, and she does her Mom's Best. most of the time i don't feel awful. when i try to stop talking bc i feel annoying sometimes she'll ask a question to keep me talking.

haha okay i'm just crying now??? idk.

anyway. it's nice. i still feel deeply annoying. and it's not bc she treats me that way in those moments, it's bc i know she's not truly interested, and also bc at other times, when she's angry or hurt or triggered by something, her resentment towards me comes out. and so when she's being nice abt my special interests and infodumping, i guess part of me is like. she's being nice, but she's just being nice. bc she loves me and cares abt me. but it is. a kind of emotional chore.

so anyway there's that detour.

point being all those posts online "i love when people infodump at me i love seeing how happy and excited they are i love learning new things"

WHERE ARE YOU FUCKING PEOPLE?! I'VE NEVER MET ONE OF YOU. EVER. IN MY ENTIRE LIFE.

okay another detour over, sorry.

i'm just now thinking. about friends and friendship again.

i get mad when i can help someone and they don't tell me or ask me. or they don't even give me a chance.

i get MAD. i get so panicked and hurt and upset and confused. idk how to describe the feeling. it's. Big.

it's just Big and Loud and Intense.

when i can help someone and they don't let me know they need help, or they refuse my help when i offer, or they don't ask and i have to come in media res to help out after they've already hurt themselves or overextended themselves, when i could be there for someone and they don't reach out.

i get. That Really Big Feeling. and it's bad and i don't like it.

and i'm frustrated and thinking bc like. part of me is someone who can't handle not being able to help people.

i am disabled and poor and my various abilities are very limited. i cannot do a lot of things that would help a lot of people.

it crushes me. i don't like that feeling. nobody does.

and i care so so so deeply abt the ppl i love.

and--

and we're back to this bit where i don't allow myself to get invested in friends and relationships bc again, i've always been Too Much for ppl.

if i msg too often, ask too many things, open up too much, want to hang out too often, want to share everything w them and be close and. it's Too Much.

and being a queer kid, i couldn't be clingy and huggy w my friends bc it was seen as creepy and gay.

i just. didn't get to hug anyone v much. i had to hide and suppress a lot of my affection. both bc i'm queer and autistic, so it always read as Too Much and Weird.

and it's just very weird to go through life most of the time feeling next to nothing abt other people. bc i've shut that off. and if i turned it on and allowed myself to feel i'd just be a mess, constantly, all the time.

bc if i feel those things then it makes it even harder to deal with what got me Thinking in the first place--

that i'm not a priority in any of my friends' lives.

and it's weird and shitty this time bc now, for several months, i am not even the person that any of them turn to first for help.

so my ONE way to be in contact w friends & feel helpful? is not available to me bc i am not a priority--and i'm not in their list of first responders.

i am not number one. i am not anywhere in the top five.

i'm someone they occasionally think about. or only think about in a certain capacity.

mainly, rn, their DM. or the person who offers compliments. or the person who spams the discord like an annoying bastard w stupid things that no one gives a single solitary FUCK about, and so they ignore.

so it's the double whammy

i don't even get to FEEL something about them ~only using me for advice and support~ and never engaging w my interests or offering to support me

bc they're not even asking me for advice or support

and i'm just realizing how little i matter

and how many other people they have who are more immediate, more important, closer to them--who they just plain like more

and i have no way of finding any other friends

and i'm sort of spiraling

i thought i had. The Friend Group. like i was set. i was so excited and--looking back. ha.

part of what began to drive the stake between us was my Too Muchness.

apart from some red flags i was ignoring, it seemed like we were all in for each other. there were so many things we wanted to do! plans we were making!

we went on a vacation together, which was HUGE for me, w my overwhelming fear of road trips (hard to explain, not what immediately comes to mind), general anxiety abt being away from home, and lack of Comfort around ppl other than my mom. and i thought it went really well! it seemed like it!

but then i went to grad school and they thought i was an elitist traitor or something? that i thought i was better than them? i literally don't know bc they never told me or admitted to any of their actions or feelings so i've been left to guesswork to fill in the blanks.

but the other part of it was--

i so wanted. to do all those things with them. they were a top priority for me. they were involved in the way i was planning literally the future, years out ahead in my life. that's how i was thinking abt my future. with them in it.

and i just remember one time we went out to eat (which they forced me to do even though i fucking hated it and just wanted to hang out with them and not spend money or be around other loud people) and at that time they revealed that they had plans to move in together (three of them) and they hadn't told me but they'd told the friend in virginia.

they talked abt being concerned abt that friend in virginia--but not me, off in minnesota.

and they mentioned a summer vacation. and i said oh wow that sounds awesome, i love that place. do you think we could do another trip like last time? would that be possible? or maybe just one like it some other time?

and i was so excited and enthused abt it. ME! EXCITED ABT VACATIONING W PEOPLE OTHER THAN MY FAMILY!

and looking back i can see how offput they were (mainly one of them) w that suggestion. they found it distasteful and were humoring me.

of course, covid hit and everything fell apart, so it never happened. lucky them. they went on many trips together after that. i know bc i haven't unfollowed or blocked all of them on social media. they're not often on it so it doesn't matter too much.

but they've posted abt their other trips together.

including one BEFORE i had "left the group" that they just. didn't tell or ask me about.

but i was Too Much for them.

despite everything--despite putting up with their treatment of me and not even noticing it was wrong or bad--i was so excited to just spend more time w them and build my future plans involving and around them.

and even though THEY were the ones that started it...

me doing it was Too Much.

and now i have this group

and the group has splintered bc three of them roomed together and it went Very Weird

and now there's literal hatred and animosity btwn a couple of them

which has meant that for the first few miss frizzle games, all i got hanging w the ones i'm closer to afterwards was just an endless stream of angry complaints abt the other players--

even when i thought everything was fine and had gone well.

yes, even i get frustrated w those two players sometimes. but this last session went really well and the story's picking up and i'm excited for it. and i just--the things that have made me frustrated. i've gotten over. or i've said something in a funny way to make the complaint/dislike clear so we can laugh abt it and move on and it won't get repeated. and it's worked.

but i'm just.

it used to be that we could all chat in the discord sometimes

then that group fell apart

and then 3 of them were like "hey let's make our own server and hang out there"

and it was good for a while

and now it's radio silent, same as before

a few memes or tiktoks

but i'm the one in there most of the time

trying to start conversations and share things

and getting no response

and they're all going through shit, i know

but only loosely

because none of them fucking talk to me

i was called a best friend by one of them and now i'm not even on the list of ppl to inform abt her life. to complain to. to chat w. for months now.

and honestly i'm just so sad and tired and lonely over never having any responses to anything i put in the discord that i just--

i know they're all tired and overwhelmed. i know.

so i don't reach out asking abt that stuff.

if they wanted to complain to me or get my support, they would ask.

and i know that bc that's how it's been in the past.

but they're all in their own spaces and places w their own ppl who are. more enmeshed in their lives. more important. more everything.

and i'm just the annoying shithead who's like 5-6 years older than them just posting stupid shit in the discord for them to ignore.

and one of them bailed 15 mins before our miss frizzle game this past sunday, after having told me they could come and play. i also had set the expectation that ppl tell me if they can't make it w a few days' heads up, bc i need to be able to prepare. we could survive a couple ppl missing a class/game session here or there, it would be okay. and obviously shit happens last minute, so that's fine.

and i absolutely understand that they're going through the Pits of Depression Hell, rn.

but i only get it vaguely bc they don't talk to me. i am not an important or close friend.

i'm not saying that to insult them or myself. it's just true. i am not an important or close friend, for them.

but i asked them--on the off chance--if they might want to sit in on the session, since this "class" was going to be two gaming sessions, and if they could make it to the next one, i'd want them to know what was going on or lemme know any choices they made.

and i said either way, we'd just retcon that their character was there, no problem.

their response sounded. so fucking mad at me. "god i'm fucking sorry i went back to sleep. he's [the PC] basically plant life it's fine"

i didn't say

"hey fuck you for not showing up"

i asked if they'd wanna sit in the group and observe

partly bc sometimes sleeping curled up in a depression pit makes things worse, and partly just so it was easier for them to rejoin in the next session.

bc like. reading an entire game session summary is also a lot. and these players. have a hard time reading ANYTHING i send them. they do it. they manage it. just enough. oddly, the players i anticipated having the most trouble w that are the ones doing the best--my expectations have been flipped.

but i figured sitting in the zoom room might be vaguely entertaining background noise (w camera & mic off!) and they could pick up next session easier, and maybe being around ppl they generally like would be a little bit of a pickmeup.

but instead my question/offer was seen as. angry? needling? judgmental? idfk.

my response was me pretending nothing was wrong bc they had voiced nothing to indicate that anything WAS wrong, and i'm having to work on not interpreting things from ppl when they haven't communicated anything to me. if someone is upset w me or if i hurt them, they HAVE TO TELL ME or i cannot do anything abt it. it's not fair to either of us to expect me to psychically divine every time something is wrong.

and they responded in kind.

but i'm just like.

what the fuck?

you don't talk to me. you don't respond to anything i say. you said, before this campaign ever began, that you "just want a campaign that actually happens"

and then 15 mins before the game you bail--when i have to calculate and balance encounters for a certain number of players AHEAD OF TIME. when i have to spent a lot of time preparing roleplay scenes and information to give your character.

so i'm kind of scrambling, yeah, and hoping that maybe you'll sit in on the session--NOT PLAY! NOT TALK! NOT ANYTHING TO DO WITH PARTICIPATING AT ALL SOCIALLY OR IN THE GAME!--so that it's easier for BOTH OF US to prepare for the next session

because now i have to type up a whole game summary to fill them in on what they missed

assuming, of course, that they don't bail on the next game 15 mins beforehand

i just. i understand that things happened.

but i quite literally went into the discord w just the 3 of them who were like "let's all be friends in here!" and then proceeded to fucking ignore me

and i said basically--

'hey what's the vibe? how are y'all feeling abt the campaign and playing in it, rn? bc i'd be fine hitting pause until y'all felt more ready to participate. we could do oneshots and jackbox game sessions, instead, for a few weeks or a couple months, and then jump right back in. bc i have this campaign literally outlined through to the end, so we WILL complete it. we're NOT bailing on it. lol but we could hit pause if need be. bc this game is a lot of work, and i want y'all to be there in such a way that you can enjoy it. i don't want y'all to miss out or not be present mind-wise. so if we need to hit pause, let's do that.'

and to be clear, no one had communicated ANYTHING to me.

but that was sort of the point.

radio silence.

how am i supposed to interpret that? what am i supposed to do with that, except infer that i should ask them how things are going?

they won't talk to me about their lives, maybe they'll fucking talk to me about this game that THEY wanted to happen. that THEY are invested in. that THEY requested have a large, overarching story and lots of roleplay.

no one directly engaged w anything i said. they both responded abt the upcoming game, and that was it. said they'd check in by friday.

i had to remind them and ask explicitly to get a response friday at like 5 fucking pm

and if that doesn't say it all abt where their priorities are right now

which--

WOULD BE FUCKING FINE

IF THEY WOULD JUST FUCKING TALK TO ME

but they don't and won't.

and here i sit capable of only feeling so many emotions.

if they're (the one who responded as such above) mad at me for being too "businesslike" abt the game, despite me not being a dick abt it and saying it was fine either way, then i'm sorry

but maybe try actually fucking talking to me AT ALL abt ANYTHING OTHER THAN THE GAME so that way it actually feels like maybe we're friends

instead of me being an unpaid DM doing a LOT of fucking work for a group of people who don't particularly care abt me or my wellbeing or the work i'm putting in

and who have lives and friends and family and other shit that's infinitely more important than me

and to circle back around, part of the reason i was so. baffled and confused--and i didn't even have the space or capacity to process and feel that at first--by the angry response to my offer/question

is because

if it's that bad

why are you isolating away from me?

i can't DO anything for you if you don't talk to me! if you don't fucking say anything!

i'm trying to reach out these stupid little branches for fun little moments of conversation and goofiness and what have you

and just. no takers. no response. no nothing.

and idk what their life is like bc they don't talk to me.

none of the three really talk to me.

and forget the other three players, i NEVER talk to them. i am just someone who DMs for them.

they don't ask abt my life or anything. we don't talk abt it.

i don't have a friend group.

i have a group of people, half of whom claim that i am their friend and do nothing to demonstrate it, that i DM for and work my ass of for, and i get nothing in return.

i just wanted them to have fun.

and this last session went so well

but that's it. that's all the time i have to talk to these ppl.

my requests that we hang out more--forgotten for weeks, so i don't bring it up again. bc i have ALWAYS been the one asking.

only to find out, every time throughout my life, that they were all hanging out without me anyway. that i'm just annoying.

i'm Too Much. they don't like me. they don't want me.

and when they do, it's just for advice or support or to use me for something, like DMing.

that's it.

and when we talk abt the game i get excited bc i work so hard on it and i care abt it so much and this is my FIRST TIME EVER DMing for a longform campaign

i have so many hundreds of pages written, so many maps made, so many characters and plots and stories to keep track of

because they asked me to

an option for this campaign was for it to be a monster of the week type thing. no overarching plot. no outer worlds. just a new class each week, everything's fine, then the class ends, end of campaign.

but they wanted an overarching story. and i made it. really big. and, i hope, really cool. really interesting and exciting to try and figure out. something that they'll have fun pulling apart, that will be compelling when it's revealed--all of its itinerant pieces revealed and explained, one by one, over the course of the campaign.

and i just.

want friends.

period.

but also, friends with whom i can get really excited abt this campaign.

and i offered to pause the campaign so everyone could rejoin properly.

and so far the one who bailed 15 mins before--btw, going through diff med changes which are ALWAYS difficult, and didn't fucking think to tell me until i'd had to explicitly ask abt attendance and scheduling like a fucking pain in the ass HR manager or teacher scolding them--has said nothing abt it.

bc they just don't fucking talk to me.

but clearly they need the time as well

and what, they think that despite the fact that i have the entire campaign outlined, that i'll bail on it?

meanwhile the three i was worried abt bailing on the game are fully in, and the three who claimed to be completely in and want this most are not able to be in it, right now. and won't communicate that to me.

i mean to be fair it's really only two of them at the moment.

but now i'm just going down this whole again where i get worked up about the campaign.

but i'm just. realizing. that part of the anger and frustration--which i have to emphasize is not AT any of them--is bc.

they don't need/want me as a friend.

i am not important outside of the game.

and now the game is not even in their top 5 priorities--and i understand why.

but now it's like

they don't ask me for help or support

they don't care abt the things i say

they don't want to have fun conversations or times with me

and they can't be there for this game that i am working so fucking hard on for them

i am making this game for them.

it's really, REALLY hard for my brain to do this. i can't judge if i'm saying too much or not enough. if i'm making something disappointing and boring. i can't tell if they're actually enjoying it, or if the few of them who say "that was fun, thanks, beck!" are humoring me or if they really mean it.

i can't tell if this is exciting and cool. if they like the NPCs. if they like the other PCs and the roleplaying. if they see the mystery. if they're invested.

i can't tell.

and i get little hints that, maybe they are?

and so i worry i'm just in my head abt this, that i'm making this game for me.

i want to have fun, too.

but all of the things i'm doing--i'm doing bc they asked me to.

i offered a miss frizzle game.

i decided i needed to make the world for it.

i asked them what they wanted from the game

and after a lot of fucking pestering they FINALLY told me what they wanted (bc it took them forever to fill out a 4 question survey where the answer could be "nope i'm good!" to basically all the fucking questions, takes 5 mins at most)

and i took that to heart

and i built a world and a plan and a campaign around that

i worked to find ways to connect everything to each of their characters

i've put so much into this

and i'm just

feeling really confused and conflicted

bc no one wants me.

they maybe want me as a DM. maybe.

and that requires. so much work on my part.

and i don't get. any actual friendship from them.

i don't even get to help them with their problems or talk to them abt stuff. i don't even get that anymore.

i feel annoying trying to talk abt the game between sessions. like i'm annoying all of them.

and i just--

this is part of why i resent being told to reach out and be interested in other people

they find me annoying and creepy and Too Much

bc i love other people

as much as i say i hate them

i hate them bc they hate me

i wanted to just read my book and go to fucking sleep early tonight and instead i've been sitting here for an hour crying and typing this up.

and for what?

it changes nothing.

and then fuck me, too, for the times when i'm too tired to want to be engage in a full conversation.

or i'm wary of replying too quickly to something bc what if i'm being annoying or overwhelming?

worrying with every message i send that i've done something wrong. bc isn't that always the case?

and so i want to respond when i feel good enough to respond w the right tone and it's not forced or fake.

bc i guess i'm still trying to perform the interesting agreeable cool funny friend

even talking abt problems i don't talk abt anything that someone can't relate to at all.

and things in my life are so nebulous and weird anyway.

no one could "offer support", right, so why do i even want or miss it?

it's just stupid. i'm tired of being 28 fucking years old and still having to deal with shit like this.

and all those "life gets better in your 30s"

do you SEE the world?

i'll be lucky if i even make it to 40.

not even by my own hand. just everything else.

"there's always time to start what you wanna do"

that's a nice sentiment. it's even true a lot of the time.

when there's not a pandemic. when you have money. and friends. and opportunities and options in front of you. and no disabilities.

i'm just being stupid and shitty and negative now.

but i sort of resent anything that makes me feel fulfilled or alive rn bc then the crash back to earth hurts even worse.

the absence of everything else the majority of the time feels even worse.

and i'm not going to talk to ANY of them abt this bc what would be the point?

they're not in a place to handle a conversation like that w any grace. i'm not even MAD at them! they haven't deliberately done anything wrong, they're just struggling! a lot!

and last time i tried to have a conversation abt things that i was worried abt or hurt by or just wanted to clear up, everything imploded around me and i ended up ghosted and abandoned and blamed for everything.

shit's already empty and absent enough without me throwing dynamite at it and making it worse.

it's just that normally the effort i put into a friendship is immaterial.

but now i'm DMing this game and the effort is very material.

and now i'm feeling it more accutely.

and i can't do anything abt it.

i just.

hanging out w friends makes me feel better. and i KNOW that's the case for most people.

and here i am, trying to make that happen in a low stakes way just talking in discord.

and still nothing.

just.

nothing.

i'm a bad person for trying. for asking. for wanting.

i can't help if i don't know, if they don't tell me.

but they don't want me to ask. bc they don't respond to anything i say, at this point.

enough to know they're alive. and that's abt it.

0 notes

shingia · 3 years

Note

can i req suna,, akaashi and iwa (and anyone else u want!!) getting jelly abt the s/o hanging out with another guy and being touchy (like the playful smacking or smth) without knowing the guy was their brother? angst to fluff bc i want the ✨ pain ✨ if u dont wanna its fine too,,

thanks bby,, love ur works so much! stay safe and healthy 😫💗

✗ HQ BOYS GETTING JEALOUS OF A GUY WITHOUT KNOWING HE’S YOUR BROTHER ✗

me receiving a request : 🥰 the request including suna :🤩 tysmm bby stay safe and healthy tooo <3

-> suna, iwaizumi, akaashi

-> angst to fluff

-> reblogs help a lot <33

— SUNA

• he hadn’t asked many questions when you told him you couldn’t come over to his house in the afternoon. but now, as he was replaying your snapchat story for the sixth time, he really wished he did

• maybe if he had insisted on coming with you, you wouldn’t have let this guy - that he had never seen, for the record - act so touchy with you

• was it his fault for not making you feel special enough ? to the point that you preferred the company of other men rather than your own boyfriend’s ?

• just the thought of this was enough to make a few of his usually well-hidden insecurities bubble up - most of them due to what his friends always joked about « suna doesn’t care enough to be in a relationship, they’ll all run away after a week ! »

• so yes, suna was hurt, but you didn’t have to see that. your opinion on him was the only one he cared about, he didn’t want to tarnish it. well... your opinion and his little sister’s, who burst into his room as he was about to watch your story for the seventh time to tell him that « someone’s at the door ! »

• not feeling like getting out of bed, it took him a few minutes to drag his feet to the door before finally opening it. and of all the people he could have expected to see, you were the last of them

• « surprise ? » you smiled as you let yourself in, not noticing the surprised look on his face as you greeted him with a tight hug. « i felt bad for cancelling our afternoon together, so i asked my brother to drop me off »

• you weren’t even done talking that suna had already recognized the man in the car that was leaving his driveway. his embrace immediately softened, and a smile crept on his face as he felt all his doubts vanish in a second

• « nuh-uh, don’t take your jacket off beautiful, i’m taking you out », he told you, determined to spoil you in the way he regretted not doing sooner

• at his words, his sister almost magically appeared next to you, coat in hand and ready to go. « you weren’t planning on leaving without me, right ? » she flashed you a toothless grin, grabbing both your hand and his to drag you two outside

• suna shared a deadpanned look with you, « of course not... » you both said in unison as she was already leading the way to her favorite ice cream shop

— IWAIZUMI

• iwa’s trust in you was infinite. but something about the way this guy had his arm playfully wrapped around your shoulders didn’t sit right with him

• his practice had ran late and he was exhausted. but he had promised you he would pop over to the birthday party of your childhood best friend, knowing how much it mattered to you

• but your behavior looked an awful lot like an attempt at making him jealous... and it was working

• was it your way of letting him know that you two weren’t working anymore ? were you just too much of a coward to be clear about it ? he hated to think about you that way. and most of all, he cared about you too much to not step in

• « ok now you got my attention » he told you after pulling you to the side. « if you want to tell me something, go ahead, i’m listening »

• still trapped in the euphoria of the moment, you didn’t really understand how upset he was. but maybe it was for the best, because it allowed you to defuse the tension lightheartedly : « i can’t believe i forgot to introduce you ! » you let out as you dragged him back to where your brother was still standing

• his jaw still clenched, iwa couldn’t even bring himself to shake this stranger’s hand, as friendly as he looked. at least not until you spoke your next words : « he was actually telling me how excited he was to finally met his future brother-in-law ! »

• iwa’s lips slightly parted in confusion, you could almost hear the cogs turning in his head over the music. brother? well that explained a lot of things

• « h-hi, sorry i was... miles away » he apologized before finally shaking the hand your brother was holding out to him

• but once the surprise had passed, another word stuck with him : brother-in-law ? as in « my sibling speaks so highly of you that i’m willing to let you put a ring on their finger even though i have never met you yet » ?

• well, it was good to know that your brother agreed with the plans he’d had for you since day 1...

— AKAASHI

• it was not unusual for akaashi to think that maybe he was not good enough for you. but being actually jealous was a first for him

• he had promised himself to never be too overprotective of you. but the facts were here : it was 3am and the only thing keeping him up was this unknown feeling of pure jealousy

• if he had not been in such a hurry when he witnessed your lighthearted banter and playful fighting with this man in the afternoon, he would’ve come up to you. introduced himself. maybe asked a few questions. if

• suspecting that this unpleasant feeling would not go away unless he talked to you about it, akaashi found himself dialling your number in the middle of the night

• used to his thoughts polluting his mind at unpredictable hours of the day and the night, your ringer was always on. which is why you picked up after only two rings

• « hi angel, i’m sorry to wake you up, i just... » he started, the clarity of his tone letting you know that he had not slept a wink. feeling his hesitation, you were quick to reassure him « it’s ok keiji. what’s going on ? »

• « who were you with ? i mean- this afternoon ? i don’t think i’ve ever met that guy and i was just wondering if... maybe i should ? »

• sitting up straight on your bed, you felt a weight being lifted off your shoulders. if this was the only thing keeping him awake, he should be able to fall asleep in the following minutes. « i was with my brother. but i understand why you were confused, it’s a normal reaction so please don’t blame yourself for that, alright baby ? »

• the gasp you heard on the other end of the line made you chuckle. akaashi’s voice was much less tensed now : « well in that case, yeah i should probably meet him... if you’re ok with that »

• « i’m more than ok with that » you smiled, placing your phone down on your pillow « wanna stay on the phone for a bit ? »

• « that’d be nice », his voice sounded sleepy already, especially above the familiar sound of his covers being pulled up to his chin

— ATSUMU

• how could he put that in words ? he didn’t even know if he was allowed to be jealous because he knew how often you had to see him deal with his many fangirls

• and that was actually what bugged him the most : that he might have already made you feel as shitty as he was feeling now

• but atsumu wasn’t the type to sit down and seriously open up about his feelings. besides, it was much easier to look like a needy boyfriend rather than a vulnerable one

• so he resorted to what he was best at : physical touch as a way to get your attention

• sneaking up behind you, he didn’t give you any warning before wrapping both his arms around your waist and pressing his chest on your back so much that you almost had to bend over

• he really hoped you would be perceptive enough to understand that he wasn’t just being clingy, but in need of a lot of reassurance. and luckily, it was quick to come :

• « tsumu, let me introduce you my brother » you chuckled, understanding how and why he had been mistaken

• one hand still on your waist, he used the other to greet your brother. atsumu did not really seem fazed by the news. of course he was relieved to know that he had nothing to worry about, but this little experience had still been very eye-opening to him

• after your brother had left to give you two some privacy, tsumu’s grip on your waist tightened, but in a softer way

• « ‘m sorry if i ever made ya cry » he let out, completely out of the blue. you didn’t really understand the meaning of this, but it didn’t matter. your hand found its way to his cheek that you brushed lightly with one finger, admiring the how it was slowly turning red. « being jealous sucks... » he added.

• « it does », you approved, giving him a quick peck on the nose. « but there’s nothing and no one that you should worry about, i promise »

• a fond smile lit up his face. you looked sincere, and he really needed to hear that right now. quick as ever, his hands left your waist to come and rest on your cheeks. both holding each other’s faces, you stared at the other for a few seconds, wondering which one of you would give in to a kiss first

TAGLIST : @toworuu @catwithangerissues @miyumiya @livy384 @k0u-minamo2 @fullsundear @hsjvwq @kelsuuki @hiraeth-z @velvetvirgos @kirishimas-manly-eyeliner @47meow @japanesevenom @geektastic84 @noir-blanches-blog @idontlikeyourjob @seiri-ami @atiny-grl-with-luv @admiringlove @nachotrash @kellesvt @aintyourholy @Moonlaeli @catchmewiddershins @duhsies @devilgirlcrybabiey @crystal-lilac @ijustwantfreenetflix @mimaki @maitenight

#haikyuu #haikyuu x reader #haikyuu angst to fluff #haikyuu imagines #suna rintarou x reader #akaashi x reader #iwaizumi x reader #atsumu x reader #suna fluff #akaashi fluff #iwaizumi fluff #atsumu fluff #suna angst #iwaizumi angst #atsumu angst #akaashi angst

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sunookkii · 3 years

Note

hey i know request are closed but this idea just got stuck in my mind and i wanted you to write sum about it if you like it 😭 so basically its an enha reaction/scenario ? where they forget your birthday, (maybe not in a bad way but i dont mind if its angst) hope ur good btw !! <3

a/n : OMG WAIT SRY TO ALL THE OTHER REQUESTS BUT THIS ONE FOR SUM REASON REALLY STUCK OUT TO ME i hope you enjoyyy ;) also I wrote so much I’m so sorry- [not really read proof~]

Also i am well ty for asking >.<

ₓ˚. ୭ ˚○◦˚.enhypen imagine ˚◦○˚ ୧ .˚ₓ

Enhypen forgetting your bday~

Genre : angsty ish

Warnings : mentions of food, crying, one swear word??

Requested : yes ty beautiful person ;)

Heeseung :

Okay okay so its your birthdayyy and you were really excited for what to happen because you wanted to see what kind of surprise your boyfriend did for your birthday

But to your luck he forgot :(

So you spent all day giving him hints like ‘what day is it’ and at one point you gave up and started pouting really hard

And your face was just overall sad everyone else had remembered your birthday including the members, but for your boyfriend to forget it lowkey hurt

Almost half the day passed and he still didn’t remember

So you ended up going into the room by yourself and started to cry

Your whimpers got louder and louder even though you were trying your best to stay quiet so he doesn’t hear

A few minutes past by and heeseung started looking for you because he sensed something was wrong.

He looked on the calendar really really carefully and FINALLY he came to his realization that it was your birthday but it was kinda too late cuz you hid yourself in your room to cry.

He came into your room to wish you a happy birthday but he sees you curled up into a ball crying to yourself

He felt so bad after this happened, “IM SO SORRY IM SO SORRY PLEASE FORGIVE ME I WONT EVER GORGET AGAIN!”

He hugs you so tight as if your life depended on it, won’t leave you out of his sight for the rest of the day. You’ll be hearing a lot of hbds and ilys for the rest of the day~

^ so yeah 🤕

Jay :

I feel like it’s rare that he forgets these type of dates buut for the sake of tumblr lets pretend he completely forgot 😧

You woke up in a great mood because it was your birthday of course

You were expecting to be receive a hbd wish from your boyfriend, but nope nothing all morning.

You received a bunch of hbd wishes on Instagram and other platforms mentioning you, but none of them were from jay :(

You quickly got frustrated and because it was your birthday and your bf the person you love most didn’t remember really hurt

So gradually your face became wet from heated silent tears. But unlike heeseung he would super quickly notice because he’s on his phone a lot and he dates things like ‘y/ns bday’ (idk but I imagine him dating things on his phone)

He’d then be like OH SHIT ITS YN’s BD

Runs to you soooooo quick just to see your face red and a bit wet.

Once your eyes connected your tears started to come out quicker

He literally runs up to you to hug you HAPPY BIRTHDAY DARLING I LOVE YOU SO MUCH IM SO SORRY I FORGOT

After he said that he ran away from you leaving you alone, which made your heart drop thinking that he didn’t care.

But once you finally came out of your room you were greeted with a homemade delicious cake your boyfriend made for you that looked like this

You could tell he felt really bad bc usually he always had a smile on his face while cooking but this time it was a ‘I’m sorry’ face

“I’m really really sorry please forgive me”

All was forgiven bc the cake tasted so mf ing good

Jake :

It was your birthday today, a day that only came once a year so like any other human being it’s a special day for you

You were super excited to see what Jake did for you, because every birthday you had with him was always such a surprise

But today was sort of… different? :(

You saw jake in the living room on the tv and went straight up to him with a smiley face. “GOOODMORNINGGG” 😁

After cuddling for a while on the couch you lifted up your head and asked him If he knew what day it was, he just replyed with a simple Wednesday? With a confused face

I’m pretty sure that one word was enough to make you pretty upset 😅🥲

You started to pout and went back into his chest with a disappointed face.

“Ahh what what, what day is it tell me?” He said playfully, not realizing it was your birthday.

You stayed silent as he checked his phone, ‘y/n’s birthday don’t forget’

When i tell you he gasped he GASPED.

You were already in the verge of tears “IM SO SORRY HBD BABY”

You were still a bit upset at him so you replied with ‘did you really need your phone to tell me what day it was’ 😕

He hugs you tighter while mumbling ‘hbd hbd hbd’

Suddenly let you go of his arms and said he had an errand. Without any explanation he got his car keys to go somewhere leaving you and your thoughts by yourself.

‘Does he not love me anymore that he doesn’t even want to spend time with me on my birthday? ☹️😭”

A while later he comes back and you’re luckily still on the couch where he left you

^^this dude came back with three beautiful cakes from your local cake stores. “I’m bacccckkkk!! please forgive meeeee you know i love you with all my heart 🥺” (okay i hate to use this emoji but there isn’t any other way to describe it TT)

You obviously forgave him because you know it was never his intention to forget,,, “you owe me hugs and kisses for the rest of the day :(“ kindly accepts your request because that is something he’d never complain about #freecuddlesfromyn

Sunghoon :

Okay but like hear me out he’s the type of boyfriend that would ‘pretend’ he forgot your birthday but he actually didn’t

So when he ACTUALLY forgot you just thought he was joking until…

“Hooonieeee, stop joking around I’m seriouss”

“I’m serious too i seriously don’t know what day it is”

“What…”

You leave him for a bit alone with his thoughts, not even gna lie if he did end up forgetting your bday it would take him a while to remember it

But once he remembers he feels so bad 😭

Tackles you with so many hugs and bday kisses and showers you with I’m sorrys and hbd wishes

genuinely ask himself how he forgot the lohls birthday (love of his life’s) literally beats himself for it

And you have to tell him that it’s fine and that you forgive him~

Brings out the birthday cake and sings you a happy birthday song while clapping and laughing.

Puts cake on your nose

Sunoo :

Idk if he’s the type to forget but like jay I don’t think he’d forget

I feel like to him birthdays are the MOST special thing/ date for a person

Like obviously the rest of the members think that but especially sunoo really like sticks to this

So if he had forgotten your birthday you were sooo hurt you ignored him the whole day keeping your distance until he finally remembered

Once he remembered he went to go find you ASAP where you were hiding int he corner of the bedroom moping

He showers you with hugs cuddles kisses pecks, you name it he does it

He feels so bad that he could forget smtg like this, literally asks himself how he could forget such an important date

If the convenience store was still open he’d run to the nearest store and surprise you with a birthday cake. But not just any cake it’d be a cake that was decorated by the one and only Kim Sunoo

Would prepare it so nicely and even have a lit up candle so you can wish on it.

the type to surprise you with it even though he forgot. Brings it to your room while singing the hbd song.

Puts cake frosting on your nose #2, takes lots and lots of pictures to post on insta later

caption : “happy birthday sunshine~”

Jungwon :

he was on the couch as per usual just scrolling through his phone to keep himself occupied but also updated

Not knowing what day it was,,,,,,,

you come outside of your bedroom excitedly to expect a wishful happy birthday wish from the person you love most

But for some reason it oddly seemed like a normal day

“Wonnniiieee my loveeee, guess what day it is!” You said with a sheepish smile

“Hmm wednesday?” He said looking up at you with a calm face

Your happy smile soon became a little pout

“You really don’t know?”

“Isn’t it just a regular Wednesday? Why is there something special?”

oh my- he broke your heart right then and there

You run back into your room because you feel heated tears about to fall, even though it was something small the thought of him not remembering your birthday the day of your birth hurt. A little.

Jungwon was actually super clueless he genuinely didn’t know what day it is but something about you seemed off and the way you ran to your room was quite odd to him so he went and followed you

Before he opened the door he already heard small whimpers from the corner of the bed, and that immediately triggered him and he was about to beat up anyone that made you feel sad 😠 little did he know it was him who made you feel that way

“Baby what’s wrong? Why are you crying”

He holds your chin and turns it to get a better look

wiping your tears with his thumb, you were being a dramatic his giggles make you feel a bit better even though you were mad at him for forgetting

“You forgot my birthday.” You said to him while crying

You can literally see the gears in his brain start to turn when his face went from 😄 -> 😳

“IM SO SORRY IM SO SORRY” hugs you so tight that you literally can’t breathe

Doesn’t know what to do to make you feel better, “I’m really sorry for forgetting your birthday, I don’t really know what got into me, please forgive me.”< cue the cutest kitty puppy eyes

He kept on rambling on abt how he was sorry and deserves your forgiveness you literally had to shut him up, he was sorry please forgive him >~<

Cuddles you for the rest of the day

Niki :

He was playing video games normally on his phone, until you excitedly stormed into his room “hiiiii babbbbyyyy”

“Well someone is happy today :)”

“Well of course bc u know what day it isss ;)”

“Wednesday?”

😧😦 < that’s what you looked like when he didn’t know, “you really don’t remember?”

“hmm I’m not too sure” he said before going back to his game

you slowly became disappointed and just ‘celebrated’ your birthday by yourself in the kitchen. :,((

he didn’t notice that you were sad at first bc he was busy playing on his phone, around an hour later he went to the kitchen to get a snack when he sees you in the kitchen staring into space rested your chin on you arm.

‘Are you okay? You seemed fine earlier’

You decided to play the silent game and just avoided him... so he tried to get you to talk to him but after a while it didn’t work so he sort of gave up and went to ask his hyungs what’s wrong with you.

“Niki,,, it’s y/n’s birthday omg did you forget??????” Jake said texting niki

and that’s when the lightbulb in his brain turned on

He rushed to the kitchen and back hugged you so tight and gave you so many cheekie kissies to try and make up for ‘forgetting’

But to his luck you were still mad at him

Soooo he came up with the idea of going to the convenience store really quick to get you a bunch of flowers and a nice cake to surprise you~

You ended up forgiving him because he was tickling you threatening you to forgive him

N knowing Niki he’s not a person you can be mad at for long <3

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scorpionwins · 2 years

Text

Actually so excited for a thing like,

Jug’s style hasn’t been explored in the show because his clothes are hand-me-downs/whatever he can afford. When he left the trailer and was homeless, he carried everything in his backpack and i'm sure he only fit a few clothes in there- and they were probably practical clothes, like clothes that would keep him warm in winter but cool in summer. He didn't pack or dress based on style but on functionality/ and even then they were mostly hand-me-downs.

Little Jughead always being drawn to soft, clean, and fuzzy textured objects. It was such a stark contrast from FP and Gladys’s sharp-edged and rugged appearances that it was almost startling, but only one of them minded rlly

(Gladys, who would tell Jug not to act like an entitled spoiled brat) But FP had a mean old man that breathed down his neck for almost everything, and he didn't want to look at Jug and see himself, so he was fine with the difference

FP’s alcoholism worsened tho, and he knew he needed to change. He also knew it would take a while. Woke up one night to Gladys packing and he begged her to take Juggie too at least until he can go completely sober. He says goodbye to his babies and pretends it doesn't hurt when JB scoffs.

He gives Jughead the beanie because it's the softest item that caught his eye a while back, and he was saving it but..now is better than never he figures. Jughead is protective of the beanie for this reason. His dad gave it to him.

Few years pass, and as soon as freshman year of hs is over, he runs away to riverdale. Bc sure, FP kept in touch the best he could but the babie wanted his dad

And jughead is soft. FP can see it, Tall Boy’s cynical eyes can see it, hell, the whole Sunnyside Trailer Park can see it. Jughead’s cut from an entirely different cloth, something much more innocent and pure and easy to hurt than the rest of them.

The kind of cloth Riverdale rips apart for shits and giggles. So yes, FP makes SP and the Serpents watch over his son, once they start school.

Toni smiles, and says they’ll be twinning, curling a strand of her pink locks around her fingers, and then maybe she’ll get the serpent queen spot by inheritance.

Fangs is an excited puppy abt making new friends, as per usual.

SP is conflicted, because he does not want to offend FP, but from what he hears, his boy is everything he was thought to hate; by description alone, Jughead sounds fragile, and delicate and sensitive and just..*Soft*

and he doesn't know how to deal with that bc the men around his life (read:bad dad) always told him those were weaknesses and he should hate that

FP says not to let Jughead know abt it, his boy may be a piece of sunshine, but hes stubborn as a mule and does not let ppl take care of him. This has to stay between the and thats final bc he wouldn't be able to let Jughead leave if he decided FP was not trustworthy

Jug spends a month in riverdale high when the snake gang makes their appearances; quick infiltration, see the target, get out. Easy peasy.

Not on Cheryl Blossom’s shift, they're not.

Jason is still dead in this au, bc that's how Cheryl and Jughead become close. He understands her coping mechanisms and is there for her all the way instead of feeling bad and going back to treating Cheryl likes she's nothing but an evil Queen B

A scene where Cheryl is crying in the bathroom and Jughead happens to pass by. He’s so concerned about her bc he knows how rock bottom looks like, and Cheryl, with her messy mascara staining her snowy cheeks, tear stained eyes burning with pain, he can't help but step in

He asks Cheryl if she’s ok and she’s like “My makeup is ruined. I look hideous.” Jughead is really sympathetic and is like, “Cheryl, pain isn’t always pretty. It’s okay.”

Jughead letting her cry, and not those “pretty, barely there sniffles. She's in pain but like, she can’t be ugly, she’s still hot” NO, like gut-wrenching, gasping, real CRYING.

He helps her fix her make-up because they still have class and he handles her with so much care and gentleness. Let it be known that the Jones boy melted the ice queen’s heart

From then on Cheryl is fiercely protective of Jughead up from her glamorous spot on the throne, within the shadows, like a lioness protecting a playful cub. Because yeah, she’s soft, but she won’t let Jughead know that because, reputation. (He knows anyways.)

LET CHERYL AND JUG BE BESTIES/THEATRIC GAY SIBLINGS

like fuck shsjs Cheryl is a lesbian jock and Jug is her little gay twink protectee that she has slumber parties with thank you

#jughead jones #riverdale #fp jones #southside serpents #fangs fogarty #toni topaz #cheryl blossom #cheryl x toni #jughead x sweet pea #jugpea #swughead #riverdale au #riverdale imagine

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olivyh · 3 years

Text

TWST FAMILY HCS PT2) Savanaclaw and Octavinelle

Feel free to tack on your own Hc’s too!!! I love reading what other people think and how their view of the characters and of Twisted Wonderland in general change from person to person!!!

Savanaclaw:

Leona:

-Farena: We already know Leona describes his brother as being carefree and relaxed, but deep under that I think he’s a deeply intelligent man (how can you run a kingdom and be stupid?). He tries his best to make time in his schedule for his wife and child, and even try to get bonding tike with his younger brother (which never works out well). He tries to teach Cheka as much as he can, often giving him little life lessons while they play games. He’s a very kind and straightforward man, often being blunt when he doesn’t mean to. He stands a little taller than Leona, with Orange hair similar to Chekas. He keeps his hair tied out of his face as much as he can.

-Sister-in-law Kingscholar: A strong and confident woman, not afraid to speak her mind when she wants to. She’s blunt and she’d let you know about it. She’s also very kind in her own way, often dragging Leona off and trying to have serious talks with him, which he appreciates but doesn’t show. She adores Cheka and often spoils him without meaning to, and will spoil Leona too (but indirectly in a way similar to Ace’s father’s). Also very intelligent and good at reading people. I think she stands a little shorter than Leona, but she holds herself higher, and he slouches, so it looks as if they’re the same height. She has long yellow hair (again, similar to the ends of Cheka’s) that she often ties back as well.

-Cheka: We already know him, so heres a few Hcs!: He sometimes asks his mother to do his hair the same way as Leona’s, and tries to do everything like him (such as standing like him, trying to deepen his voice to sound like him, throwing sand at various objects in the castle yelling “King’s Roar!!”)

Ruggie:

-Grandma Bucchi: As he said himself, a stern and prideful woman. I think she’d be on the stricter side, having to teach Ruggie how to survive rather than him having to face those hard truths alone. She likely stands a lot shorter, likely 5’0 (sorry to anyone whos that height), than most other beastwomen. She’s a lot physically stronger than she looks, often still trying to pick Ruggie up at his age. She tries to spoil him when she can, trying to make him relax after working and taking over the household chores (which he declines, still cleaning up when she’s not looking- which earns him a smack to the head with a broom). She’s also a prankster, quietly jumping out from corners and scaring Ruggie or one of the other children. I think she feels a lot of regret over seeing Ruggie grow up so fast in the environment that he had, but she’s the proudest grandma ever. Whenever he sends pictures back she boasts to everyone at home (“See that! That’s my grandson’s school! See that there! He plays magift and is one of the best on the team! Look there! He’s got those nice ceremony robes!”), and even boasts about him with what little baby pictures they have (“See him walking at such a young age? Isn’t he so strong?”) Will never stop talking about her grandson, ever.

-Neighborhood kids: I think they’re like little siblings to Ruggie, so I’m adding them. They try to tale over what Ruggie did when he was at home, helping people fix up their houses or entertaining the baby hyenas when their mothers have other things to do. They also leave gifts to Ruggie when he comes back, between little dolls they made, bracelets they thought he’d like, charms, or pretty rocks and leaves. He keeps all of the gifts, no matter how small.

-His mom (bc the poor woman deserves a spot)(Poor meaning unfortunate)(The more i think abt it, both. It means both. Bad time?): I think she looked a lot like him, but with brighter blue eyes than his. She was definitely a prankster at heart, leaving clever traps behind for any poor soul to get stuck in. She was a very hardworker much like her son, taking on any task she could find to help out her mother. I think she’d try to leave as much behind for Ruggie as she could, which would include little notes and scribbles about how she was feeling throughout her pregnancy and how excited she was for him. Ruggie also kept all of those safe and sound, in a small box he keeps in the corner of his room.

(Can you guess who my fav chara is?)

Jack:

-Grandma & Grandpa Howl: A very loving couple, who always make time out of their schedule for their grandchildren, whether it be for school events, emergencies, or if any one of them want to come by and talk. They met when Grandpa Howl got lost and wandered by Grandma Howl’s family’s cabin (which happens to be the one they, and the rest of the family, still live in to this day) and he spent the night. I think they fell in love at first sight :’)

-Mama Howl: A very soft and loving beastwoman who is willing to sacrifice anything for her children. She is often strict, and sometimes a chatterbox, but she always reminds her children to stay safe and that she loves them. She always pats their head or cheek when she walks by, even if she has to reach a little to plant a kiss on Jack’s forehead. I think her hair would be a little darker grey, and she’d definitely be a little more muscular and taller, reaching six ft one when standing straight up. She’d have the same yellow eyes as Jack, and her hair would be cropped shorter due to her still moving around a lot.

-Papa Howl: Very similar to Jack personality and appearance wise. He stands an inch or two shorter than Jack, but is still very muscular due to working around the house and in the woods (chopping wood for the campfire, dragging around tools, carrying three wolf pups at a time in his younger days (only one now wants to be carried, which hurts the poor man’s heart a bit)

-Baby brother Howl: Huffy and a little moody, but a hard worker even if he complains while doing it most of the time. That’s often with his parents, but when he does something with Jack he doesn’t complain a bit. He’s very attached to his older brother, looking up to him for his strength and strong morals. He often compares him to superheroes and star athletes in his mind, but sometimes it slips out, resulting in one very embarrassed wolf boy and another very flattered wolf boy, ignore their wagging tails, it means nothing. I think he stands pretty tall for a preteen, around 5’7-5’8 and growing taller by the day. Same hair and eye color as Jack. Acts like he doesn’t like to play games with his younger sister but will never turn down a game of tag.

-Baby sister Howl: An absolute sweetheart. She just wants the best for her family and will do whatever she can to make what they want happen. Jack is hungry? Good thing she made her special dessert (it’s a poptart with whipped cream messily piled on top with sprinkles and literal sugar cubed wedged in it, but don’t tell her you don’t like it, please she’d actually bawl). Her other older brother is tired? She can get him extra blankets! Mama needs help cleaning? She can mop (she really just throws water on the floor and praises herself for a job well done). Papa need to cut wood? She can- no, she can’t. Please don’t give her an axe. She’ll cheer him from the sidelines with a song she made up just for him instead! She has their mother’s grey hair and father’s dark brown eyes, and loves to do her hair like the princesses she sees on Tv! (Yes, Jack will wear a too-small dress and Tiara if his sister wants to play princess. No, he will not let anyone take pictures.)

Octavinelle:

Tweels:

-Mama Leech: At first glance, a very kind woman with soft eyes. Willing to open her arms to anyone who might need help. Then, a terrifying grin similar to Floyd’s as that poor unfortunate soul realizes the trap they’d been thrown in. She’s very kind and patient towards both her boys and husband, as well as their friends (even of she is on guard near their friends, throwing a few hollow threats to see if it’d scare them away)(She doesn’t like to share her babies). She dotes on the tweels as much as possible, indulging im whatever curiosity they may have. Floyd wants to know what going through riptide is like? They leave tomorrow to find one. Jade wants to know more about life on land? She’ll find as many books as possible and ask (threaten) people for their land belongings. She knows when too far is too far though, and is very skilled at reeling the boys back in if they get to that point. Will always call them her little guppies, no matter how big they get. I think she’d have a teal bob on top, with the underside of her hair being black (which makes her hair look color changing when she swims). Im her human form shes only a few inches shorter than her boys, ranging around the same as Jack’s mother.

-Papa Leech: The definition of old Hollywood New York mob boss. Strict and blunt about his interests and problems, and not afraid to cause any problems if provoked. When the tweels were younger and they’d wrestle and bite at him, he’d throw them off him easily, telling them they need to work to beat him, even if he was impressed by their teamwork at first. Will die to protect his family, and was likely put in that position many times in the past due to his uh… business. He values his wife and children more than anything, and has done everything in his power in the past to protect them from harm. When they went to NRC at first, he felt defeated and almost wanted to beg them to stay safe with him (not that his pride would allow it).(Both the tweels can see through his facade easily)

Azul:

-Grandma ‘grotto: A very stern and prim octomermaid. What she says goes in the Ashengrotto house, and she often catches herself making unnecessary comments. She does apologize. Also a very loving grandmother towards Azul, often babying him whenever possible (doing the classic “you’re not eating enough here take some more” grandma move)(She will smooch his face whenever possible when there are no business clients nearby). Tries to boost his confidence since she knew about what was happening to him (Chances are she went through the same thing- being an octomer as well) and dod her best to protect him and make him happy. She taught him how to write with his tentacles and encouraged him to do his best in everything he does.

-Mama ‘grotto: Another businesslady in the front absolute softie in the back situation. Adores her son and is incredibly proud of how far he’s come.I think she looks identical to Azul, but more heavyset and, of course, female. She coddled Azul as much as possible, which worked out well with baby Azul’s clingy nature. She had no shame in walking around with the little guy stuck to her (unless he smacked a tentacle to her face when she was working on her restaurant), and made sure everyone knew what a good boy he was. She would show pictures to everyone (similar to Ruggie’s grandma), but respects his wishes in wanting to hide pictures of his past. She still shows anyone who asks pictures of him at NRC (compliments to the twins, who send her updates when her son is busy), and will tell everyone how smart he is and how much he’s grown.

-Step-Papa grotto: A very professional man in every aspect of his life, which stretches to his relationship with his stepson. When he learns about the contracts and Azuls UM, he’s over the moon with how happy he is. He swam around with a little more pep than usual, flicking his tail and flaring out his fins the more and more Azul told him. He helps him reword and format his contracts to his advantage, and is always willing to talk with him about Mostro Lounge or (on rare occasion) some memories before Step papa Ashengrotto met Mama Ashengrotto (which always make him happy that Azul trusts him enough). I think he’d be a pretty generic looking Mer, with an average looking tail and such

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iclaimedtobethebetterbard · 2 years

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Virgil for the character asks?

YES OMG ty for the ask AAA!! i have SO MANY thoughts about virgil’s character sdklghsdfkjlghsdfkghsdfk

[ask me abt my thoughts on tss characters]

First impression: i didn’t get into the fandom until just after dwit was released, so i already had plenty of character-development material to get to know virgil by; he was definitely one of my favorites from the very start.

Impression now: virgil is still (one of) my second favorite side(s)! he is so stupid and dorky and he would do anything for his friends and he is such an asshole. i love him. <3 i also think he is a lot less blameless in whatever went down between him and janus (and remus) than i used to think; i think they probably all hurt each other and it was very messy. which i like, tbh. it allows for lots of fun character stuff as the story unfolds.

im also VERY excited to see what goes down in the next few episodes, now that janus is at least kind of accepted. in-depth character (over)analysis and predictions coming up, buckle your seatbelts.

because the thing about virgil, imo, is that he very much sees his own acceptance as being conditional and as something that can be taken away. (the 5 year special with the whole “it’s nice to know they THINK they feel that way” made it clear that even now, virgil is reluctant to accept that he is loved.) and i think specifically, virgil believes that his acceptance is dependent on the fact that, as roman actually went so far as to state out loud and spell it out for us in AA pt2, “you are NOTHING like the Others.” (did roman mean it that way? no, absolutely not. but i think that some part of virgil latched onto it and was like “oh so THIS is why he’s okay with me now.”)

now, obviously “separating himself from the Others” is not something that virgil’s acceptance actually depends on. but i do think that part of virgil believes that it is. his mindset is ‘i’m good BECAUSE i am not like these other guys, who are the bad guys. i’m in the in-group BECAUSE there is an out-group to differentiate myself from. i have earned my spot here by making myself different from them.’ which is also why he’s been so bent on painting janus and remus as wholly unacceptable, and unwilling to compromise even a little bit with them. he needs them to be bad guys in order to feel secure in his own acceptance.

i think virgil is going to see patton’s new friendship with janus as patton actually rescinding his acceptance of virgil and giving it to janus instead. which is obviously not what’s actually going on. but i do think that’s how virgil is going to interpret it, at the very least on a subconscious level. he is going to be TERRIFIED that janus hanging around and not being vilified will ultimately result in first patton and then thomas changing their minds about wanting virgil around, and lead them to reject him again.

i think a big part of his character development in s3 will probably be around learning that love and acceptance is not a finite resource, and that his own acceptance is not threatened by janus and remus and orange also receiving it.

Favorite moment: im actually SO soft for the bit where virgil shows up in in moving on part 1 and is all “wait im the first on here?? o-o thats not good” and then is really concerned and caring towards thomas even while still being himself and having lots of funny lines. it’s so good it makes me so soft. hes so good i love him. basically the whole time from when virgil shows up to when the other sides show up in that episode (approx. 0:34-1:35).

Idea for a story: okay you get two lol. bc the first one is not really fleshed out at all beyond the premise but i think it would be GREAT already. basically this one would be a oneshot about the puppet sides, but would also be like. a horror story. and it would be like almost over the top in just how creepy and jump-scare-y and stuff it was. and then at the end it would be revealed that virgil and roman are collaborating on a story, and were in a brainstorming meeting and using the puppets to illustrate while virgil talked about his ideas. and there would be like a really cute platonic prinxiety moment to close it out.

the second one is like. kind of a very niche genre of fic in this fandom already i think. there are definitely a handful of fics like this already. but it’s a very good kind of fic, so i could totally make another one. basically it would be a really cute canonverse LAMP fic about how virgil fell for LMP one by one (first patton, via some cute midnight-baking-after-accidentally-running-into-each-other type stuff, then logan IMMEDIATELY after “my negative thinking” or possibly even right in the middle of it, and then roman last of all right after AA pt2). and then of course there’s like some angsting about “they’d never want me, ive already been accepted i can’t push for more," etc etc before it is revealed that of course they all do love him. and then they are all fluffy and in love together <3

Unpopular opinion: 1) i don’t think spiders are his animal trait, i think cats or raccoons are more likely if he has one at all. 2) okay so. you know the posts that are like “grr stop making virgil into a soft baby who must be protected, he’s mean and snarky and tough!!” (i am. exaggerating, but you get the gist.) and the posts that were all “virgil was out of character in rotj when he was all dorky and awkward! he’s actually really cool and tough!!” those posts annoy me SO much. bc actually ALL of those things are extremely integral parts of virgil’s character!!! not just being snarky and tough!! yes, he is very snarky and sometimes mean!! but he is ALSO extremely dorky and awkward (and always has been)!! AND he can be soft and in need of support and that is okay and good—in fact, he talked a bit in the puzzle song about how developing this softer part of himself was something that increased his life happiness!! and!! virgil having that softer more vulnerable aspect of himself does not invalidate the other things about him or make them go away!! all 3 of those sets of character traits are really REALLY important parts of who he is!! you do not need to pick just one in your characterization of him!!!!!! and to prioritize his snarkiness over everything else is to ignore a lot of character development that has improved his relationships with the other characters and made him happier!!

Favorite relationship: of COURSE analogical. frankly i like most relationships involving virgil a Lot, but analogical wins without question. they just. fit so well together. they balance each other’s weak spots out so perfectly, and they share a lot of similar interests and personality traits, and they get along really well, and they’re able to resolve conflicts and disagreements with each other in a peacable and mature way, and they’re willing to call each other out when it’s needed, and they trust each other so much, and they are so close, and THEY ARE JUST IN LOVE AND MARRIED I DONT MAKE THE RULES. they are SO tender with each other and i think they get surprisingly sappy in private and are just SO cuddly with each other when normally they would never be. i just. UGH THEM.

Favorite headcanon: i rlly like the idea of him being able to sense when the other sides are anxious!! and even if he can’t necessarily take it away, i like the idea of him being a lil extra gentle with them and very subtly nudging them towards coping mechanisms that have helped him. <333

in case ppl don’t want to scroll back up: [ask me abt my thoughts on tss characters]

#sanders sides #thomas sanders #thatsthat24 #virgil sanders #ts virgil #peregrin answers #peregrin plays a game #star tag!!!!#peregrin said a thing

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ja3minz · 4 years

Text

𝐟𝐢𝐫𝐬𝐭 𝐭𝐢𝐦𝐞 𝐰𝐢𝐭𝐡 ... 𝒉𝒂𝒆𝒄𝒉𝒂𝒏 ♡

requested by anon.

so listen hyuck’s like .. almost rarely ever truly embarrassed or too shy to do something

but something like his (and your) first time having sex? it lowkey terrifies him

because to him it’s such a serious thing like it shows ultimate trust in a partner and he’s honored that you trust him so much

and he wants it to be perfect bc that’s what you deserve 🥺

it’s kind of a problem though bc he drives himself insane trying too hard to make sure everything is just right

when you tell him you’re ready, it doesn’t happen in that moment

you tell him when you’re just over hanging out and you’re watching him play overwatch thinking abt how much u love him and ur just like “hey...i think i’m ready to take this to the next level”

and he’s like stunned at first he doesn’t know what u mean but then it hits him and he’s like oH YOU MEAN—

“are you sure? really? you trust me that much?” he’s kind of ecstatic abt it lowkey tho u see this like overjoyed smile simmering on his face he’s trying to hold it back

you come and sit on his lap and kiss him and tell him you trust him with your life and he swoons <3

so your actual first time doesn’t happen until maybe a week or so after that because he wants the dorm to himself so nobody interrupts

lowkey asks johnny for advice that same day bc he’s kinda freaking and he’s like “bro what if it’s bad what if they hate it what if i bust too quick”

he’s so gentle the entire time 🥺 such a sweetheart making sure you’re comfortable, asks if it’s okay to undress you

he’s seen you naked before (kind of; u took ur shirt off during some heated makeouts) but this is so different

he’s in awe he thinks you’re a masterpiece he lets out this heavy kind of adoring sigh while trailing his fingers down your soft skin

“you’re so beautiful, i can’t believe it. it’s unreal.”

omg and he loves it when you compliment him normally but he extra loves it here

like he needs to know he’s doing okay so please remind him he’s doing amazing

loves it when you say his name, loves it when your body responds so easily to him because it means you’re enjoying yourself

so much kissing SOOOO much kissing and it’s kind of sloppy and a little all over the place he kind of just sucks on your bottom lip sometimes

gets shy when he’s fully undressed and you see his cock 👉🏾👈🏾 please gas him up

let’s be real his dick is probably a solid 6 inches anyways so

there’s a moment where you’re both naked and making out and still exploring each other’s bodies

he’s slotted between your legs, his cock is pressed up against your inner thigh and he’s so close to your core both of you start rutting into each other

it gets intense tbh the excitement and lust takes over the both of you and suddenly he NEEDS to be inside of you like asap

slides on the condom, has you in missionary and the sight of you laying on your back with your legs parted looking up at him

his heart kind of flutters like wow he loves you a lot

smiles this cute little shy smile and leans down to kiss you while he’s pushing himself inside of you

you’re both moaning into each other’s mouths and it hurts at first because it’s just so foreign you’re not used to it

so you’re kind of whimpering and squirming underneath him and he won’t do anything until you’re fully okay to go

he’s okay with sitting and waiting for you to adjust, stroking your hair and kissing your neck and whispering cute stuff to you

when you give him the okay that first thrust nearly knocks the breath out of him

it’s incredible it sends shockwaves through your bodies

it doesn’t take long for him to set a rhythm, he’s not going too fast but goddamn you feel like he’s so deep inside you it’s driving you fucking crazy

and listen if we’re being honest

hyuck is trying HARD not to cum too quick okay? he’s really trying

can you really blame him when you’re so hot and tight around him, you’re squeezing his cock perfectly and god the noises you’re making it’s all so erotic and he feels overwhelmed already

you told him before you guys even got here though and he agreed with you that it didn’t matter if you both came or not

it was more about the experience. sharing your bodies, intertwining in something so new for the first time

but honestly y’all don’t have to worry about not cumming because the way he’s fitting inside you and the way his cock is kissing your sweet spot

it’s making your toes curl and your eyes roll you’re loving every single second of it and you’re making sure he knows he’s doing fantastic

at some point though he gets kinda lost in the feeling and he picks up his pace but you don’t even realize it because it just feels so good

you’re really out of it at this point

the rooms filled with nothing but the your shared moans and the sticky sound of skin hitting skin

hyuck gets super duper whiny when he’s about to cum, real breathy in your ear too

and he starts grabbing onto you for dear life, in this case he’s squeezing your thighs

“i-i...think. i think i’m—fuck. fuck, i’m gonna cum. you’re gonna make me cum, baby, fuck.”

he starts grinding into you in such a way that his pelvis is hitting your clit like perfectly

so every thrust makes you clench around him

he tries to hold on and wait for you, he’s really really trying but he falls apart almost instantly when he hears you call his name

it’s the way you say it; like you’re desperately keening for him. like you need to have him, like he’s your everything

he doesn’t even mean to cum but god when he does he cums so hard he swears he’s seeing literal stars

like his vision goes black and he yells out for you; clinging desperately to your body

he’s even trembling 🥺 panting heavily, hiding his face in the crook of your neck while he’s babbling on and on about how he loves you

you don’t have an orgasm that night but you’re more than satisfied so you have no complaints honestly

you’re spent, just like he is. he lays on top of you for a solid minute and both of you doze off for like a quick little power nap???

like you fall asleep there for a solid 10 mins but then you’re uncomfortably hot with his bare body laying on top of you

so both of you wake up half way just to situate yourselves better

he pulls off the condom and tosses it in the trash and attaches himself to your back like a koala

nuzzles his face in your neck and hugs you real tight to his chest 🥺 tells you he loves you one last time before falling asleep

when he realizes you didn’t have your orgasm he definitely eats you out thst next morning

like kinda wakes you up with it 😗 because you deserve it you’re his number one

#damn this got long #i did not mean for this #i just brain dumped all of that in like 15 mins 😭#nct dream imagines #nct dream smut #nct smut #nct 127 smut #nct 127 imagines #nct imagines #nct dream headcanons #nct headcanons #nct dream reactions #nct reactions #nct hard hours #haechan smut #haechan reaction #haechan headcanons #haechan imagines

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