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floralseokjin · 3 years

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⤑ made-up love song x (m).

Your first encounter with Kim Seokjin doesn’t go so well, nor your second, or your third… and maybe that’s because it shouldn’t work on paper. You’re an elementary school teacher, never left the country despite hitting the third decade of your life not so long ago, and you’re unable to remember the last time you dated. He’s the dad of one of your students, nearly a decade older than you and divorced. Oh yes, and just another minor detail – he’s a multimillionaire.

Your lives are lightyears apart, yet somehow, your paths having now crossed, things just seem to fall into place…

pairing; kim seokjin x reader au/genre/warnings; strangers to lovers, romance, single dad! seokjin, ceo! seokjin, elementary school teacher! oc, age gap (oc is 30, seokjin is 37), seokjin is a dilf, romance, happy ending, jin has stubble lmao, smut; morning sex, oral sex (f receiving), soft sex, spooning, jin has a thing for boobs this saturday morn, everything gets so fluffy words; 6,243

↪︎ chapter index

chapters; i • ii • iii • iv • v • vi • vii • viii • ix • x • epilogue (+ drabbles)

When you heard the doorbell ring twenty-five minutes later you were up off the sofa in seconds, heart thrumming against your ribcage as you rushed towards the entryway, a nervous kind of excitement flurrying inside your stomach. Yanking the door open, you were unable to keep the smile from your face as you saw Seokjin stood in front of you. He was dressed in sweatpants and a baggy white t-shirt which was slightly creased. His hair must have been freshly washed, soft and fluffy on top of his head, but it looked like he hadn’t shaved in a while, hints of stubble growing along his upper lip and along his jawline.

“Hi.” You were grinning by now.

“Hi,” he murmured softly, stepping forward. Immediately you found yourself in his embrace, the familiar scent of his laundry detergent welcoming. You wrapped your arms around his middle, pressing the side of your face to his chest. You felt still, relaxed for the first time in days.

Kissing the top of your head as he pulled away, he took your hands and let out a small chuckle. “I was halfway here when I realised I still had my slippers on.”

You looked down at his feet, giggling as you spotted the blue slip ons. Linking your fingers with his, you gently tugged him forward. “Do you want head to the living room?”

He nodded, letting you lead the way, and you paused by the kitchen, turning back. “Want something to drink?”

“Water, if it isn’t any trouble.” He asked. Classic Seokjin, you thought to yourself, leaving him to sit, too polite for no reason. When you came back, handing him the drinking glass he smiled and said his thanks. You sat next to him watching him take a sip and lean over to place the glass on the coffee table. You didn’t know where to start, you had so much to say, but it seemed like he had been thinking his piece over in the car ride here.

Exhaling, he turned to you with a serious expression. “Just before you say what you need to, I want to apologise.” He paused, seeing if you would let him continue, when you didn’t object he reached for your hand. “I’m really sorry for the way I acted Sunday. It was unacceptable and I’m really embarrassed you had to see me like that.” He sighed then, “I was just so... I was so mad that Nana turned up and spoke to you like she did. I let all my frustrations regarding Arin take over too.” He was staring you straight in the eyes, eager to make you see how sincere he was. “I never meant to compare you both and I’m sorry for making you uncomfortable.”

“Everyone gets angry, Seokjin. Don’t feel embarrassed because of that,” you told him. “It was just jarring to see. Plus it was all so overwhelming.” He nodded in understanding and you smiled and squeezed his hand. “I appreciate your apology regarding the comparisons though.” What was done was done, but he sounded regretful. “Have you spoken to Nana since?”

“Yeah,” he murmured, averting his gaze for a split second. He sounded remorseful. “I saw her yesterday afternoon. She wanted to be with Arin this weekend so I finished work early and drove her there. Nana…” He stopped himself and started again. “I know why she was so hurt over everything. We talked it out a little. Barely touched the surface but things are headed in the right direction. I apologised to her.”

“That’s good to hear,” you said. There was no good only apologising to you. Nana deserved an apology just as much, maybe even more. You were glad they’d managed to be civil and you hoped it was a step in the right direction.

“I know Arin missed school but I called Principal Jung.” Seokjin was eager to explain himself. “I didn’t go into details of course, but he said it was okay.”

“That’s fine,” you chuckled quietly. “You don’t have to explain yourself to me. It was only one day.” How cute. You didn’t take your job that seriously. At least the mystery was solved though. You had stressed over nothing. He wanted nothing more than for Arin to see her mother, regardless of what his relationship with Nana was like. This extra weekend together meant a lot to not only Arin and Nana, but him too. Harsh words had been shared in frustration and anger, but he hadn’t lost sight of what mattered the most – his daughter.

“I’m glad you talked to Nana,” you smiled, unsure how to voice all your thoughts. What mattered was he’d seen the error of his ways, and hopefully Nana had too.

He nodded sternly. “I was out of order that day.”

You grew serious too, hesitating before you said his name. You knew you had to ask him, knew you had to have this conversation, but it didn’t stop you from feeling slightly afraid. “Seokjin, why didn’t you tell her about us?”

He closed his eyes briefly, shame written all over his face, and he let go of your hand to run a hand through his hair. It draped across his forehead instantly. “I made a mistake.” He was looking straight into your eyes again, chocolate irises pooling with genuine regret. “At first I didn’t know what would happen between us. It was all brand new for me – for you. Letting Nana know was the last thing on my mind, but as things got more serious, I just…” He faltered, gaze falling to his lap. “I didn’t want to burst the bubble. I was so happy. I didn’t want anything to potentially ruin it.

“It was stupid, considering Arin could tell her at any moment. I just wasn’t thinking, I was being selfish. I understand why Nana was so hurt. I would feel the same if I found out Arin had been spending time with a man I didn’t know.” He exhaled deeply. “I took it all to heart because deep down I knew I’d done wrong.”

You appreciated his honesty. “We were definitely in a bubble. I never even thought to ask if you’d let her know. I –”

“It’s not your fault.” He was quick to tell you. “It was my responsibility and I didn’t want to do it. I regret it now and I’ve told her that. I’m sorry to you too, it wasn’t my intention to keep you a secret.”

You were quiet then, unsure what to say. You still had questions, still had things you needed to understand and as if he read your mind, he placed a gentle hand on your knee, tilting his head to watch you. “Y/N, is there anything else you want to know?”

Your fingers picked at your pyjama pants, heart beating rapidly. There was one important thing you needed the answer to, it was a dumb question, you were nearly positive, but yet you knew you needed to ask it.

“Anything you want to ask, I’ll be 100% honest with you.” He gently nudged, sensing your reluctance.

“T-this may seem stupid,” you began, finding courage. He was Seokjin, your Seokjin, he wouldn’t judge you. However, you hoped what you had to say wouldn’t hurt him. He waited patiently for you to continue. You held his gaze. “You’re not just looking for a mother figure for Arin, are you?”

His forehead crinkled in confusion, his hand leaving your knee as he processed your words. “What do you mean?”

You felt a wave of panic. “I know it sounds stupid, but I just need to know if you like me for me.”

He watched you carefully, brow line now creasing in concern. “Of course I like you for you.” And then he took your hand, lacing his warm fingers between yours. You could see the concentration on his face as he tried to find a way to word his thoughts. “I’m not looking for a mother figure, I never was. Yes, I’d love it if Arin saw her mother every day, but I’m not trying to recreate it elsewhere. I was wrong to compare you both. Nana loves Arin, I know that, she’s trying her best, and you’re…,” he took a breath, “I would never expect you to take on all that responsibility. You’re my girlfriend, I would never intentionally put all that pressure on to you.

“Y/N, I’m Arin’s father,” he continued when you didn’t reply. “She means the world to me, so knowing that she adores you makes me happy, as does knowing you adore her. I always thought dating in my position would be really hard – that’s why I never did it. Having to trust someone that much to potentially let them into my daughter’s life, that was such a frightening thought. But it wasn’t with you.” His eyes were wide, pleading as he tried to make you see. As he spoke he used his other hand to cup the side of your face, you softened into his touch.

“There were other worries too,” he continued to confess. “I thought nobody would want a divorced dad as a boyfriend. It’s fine, I understand it’s not everyone’s ideal, but with you it was never a problem. You accepted me and what my life involved and I’m not going to lie, that made me fall for you even harder but I wasn’t using you because I wanted some sort of permanent mother figure in Arin’s life. That’s absurd and it makes me really sad to know I potentially made you feel that way.”

Your chest felt lighter hearing those words. Nothing like the tight, anxious mess you had felt all week. It was good to know your worst fears weren’t true. Your doubts, even though valid, hadn’t been needed. You believed every word he said.

He lowered his hand from your face, sensing you were about to speak, and instead clutched the hands laced together in your lap. “Hearing those things you said to Nana, it made me… It overwhelmed me. Made me think that you’d been expecting too much of me this whole time, or like maybe you’d been searching for something I had no clue about.” You admitted.

You hadn’t liked being used as a weapon. It had made you feel horrifically guilty. You told him just as much, being as frank as you possibly could because he needed to hear it.

“I understand,” he nodded. “I promise I’ll never do it again. All I can give you is my word.”

“And I’ll believe it.” You told him, needing him to know something else as well. “Seokjin, I really do care about Arin. I’m beyond touched that she’s accepted me into her life but my place will always be different.”

Seokjin frowned at that. “You are still an amazing person in her life though. She’s become so much happier these past few months and I can’t deny it and say that’s not partially down to you, even if it’s just a fraction of the reason.”

You opened your mouth to disagree with him, he was being too nice, giving you too much credit, but he wasn’t having any of it. “No, Y/N. You need to hear these things. You make Arin happy too, and I think that’s a beautiful thing.” He felt you relax, smiling when he noticed you do the same. “I fell for you because of many reasons, and yes, one of them was because of how you treat Arin, but it’s not the only one.” His voice was soft as he began to make a list. You couldn’t help but giggle. “You’re sweet, caring, funny, beautiful – inside and out.”

“You’re a real charmer, hm,” you teased.

He chuckled, but grew serious once again, giving your hand a squeeze. “You could have anybody but you chose me, the man whose life is overtaken by work and is struggling to be an OK dad.”

“Seokjin, you’re an amazing father,” you scoffed. If he expected you to listen then he needed to as well. “You work so hard and you’re constantly exhausted but that doesn’t stop you from being one of the best fathers I know. You need to give yourself more credit.”

“Thanks,” he said, plump lips tugging up into a half-smile. You really wanted to kiss him, it had been long enough, so you leaned forward, pressing your mouth to his. Gentle and chaste. When you pulled back he was smiling harder. You couldn’t help but join him.

One of his hands lifted, weaving into your hair as he brought your face to his chest, the hand holding yours letting go so he could wrap his arm around your middle, holding you to him. You were both silent, content for a moment as you listened to his heart beat steadily. It comforted you, let you know that everything was okay.

“I’m sorry if I put pressure on you,” he murmured, chin resting against your hair. “It’s just when the three of us are together it feels so right. It feels natural and I love that.”

“I love it too,” you agreed, your face still pressed into his chest, your palm too. “But Nana is her mother and I don’t ever want to take her place.” You paused, slowly pulling away to look at him. “I want to make my own place. And I don’t know if that means being a stepmom so soon, but it’s definitely moving in that direction.” You’d had enough time to think about everything. You were more than serious about him. “I want a future with you, Seokjin. A future with you and Arin. You both mean a lot to me.”

His mouth slowly spread into a grin, he looked and sounded unbelievably happy. “Do you mean that?”

“Of course. I spent these past few days thinking really hard about us and what we were – what we are. I’m serious about us, and I hope you are too.”

He pulled you into another hug, kissing your forehead. “I most definitely am, but we’ll take it at your pace,” he assured, “and Arin’s pace.”

“And your pace,” you added, moving your head back to look at him, hands resting on his shoulders. “Nana’s too. She needs to be involved because no matter what, she’s still a part of your life.”

It wasn’t about just you and Seokjin, you understood that now, and so did he. “I agree. I really think yesterday was a turning point for me and her. I want our relationship to be better for not just Arin, but you too. I hate that you had to witness all that.”

“It’s okay, Seokjin. Please don’t beat yourself up about it.” He needed to let it go and move forward. You had already.

“Listen, I, er, I’m…” He hesitated, serious once again. “I’m sorry for not telling you why we divorced.”

Oh. In your happiness you’d actually forgotten about that. You waited for him to continue, wanting to hear what he had to say because it had been the source of some of your hurt. You rubbed his shoulders, wanting to encourage him as he struggled to find the words.

“It’s complicated,” he started. “…Finding out Nana had been cheating on me was what triggered the divorce, but it had been over long before then. It’s… difficult to admit this out loud but for the longest time I was embarrassed. I couldn’t believe that she’d cheated on me – it was an ego thing. I didn’t care because I no longer loved her but at the same time it was mortifying and it made me very bitter.

“I didn’t tell you because you’d trusted me with your own story. I learned how cheating had affected you and my situation was completely different. I don’t know,” he sighed, unsure if he was making any sense. “I regret it now because I should have told you.”

“I understand why you didn’t,” you said simply, attempting to process the huge chunk of information you’d just been given. “But I think, regardless of our different circumstances it still affected you in some way. There’s no right or wrong way to deal with being cheated on.” It had obviously left its mark if he was still bringing it up nearly three years later.

He still wasn’t convinced. “But Nana was right, that’s why I got so angry. I couldn’t admit it to myself, not until this week. By sleeping with someone else she gave me a way out. I didn’t want to be the one who ended it because that would mean I was the reason for Arin’s broken home. To ease my conscience I could blame the breakdown of our marriage on her.”

“Seokjin, that doesn’t make you a terrible human being. You need to let all that go,” you told him gently. “At the time you did what you thought was best for Arin. You thought by staying together it would give her a better life but it doesn’t work like that and you’ve realised that now.”

You didn’t want to stick your nose in business that wasn’t yours, but you understood what had happened. By staying together they had become increasingly bitter towards one another and the result was still ongoing. There had been a lot of hurt and that would take some time getting over.

You noticed the slight nod he gave you, a silent agreement. The sooner he accepted his mistakes the easier it would be to forgive himself. “I still should have you,” he whispered.

“That’s not important anymore,” you insisted.

“It is.” He clutched your waist, his eyes glassy. “You shared so much with me about how you got hurt, and I kept something big from you.”

You gave him a reassuring smile. “Well, I know now.” You weren’t going to hold it against him, it had obviously been playing on his mind the entirety of your relationship. “That’s all that matters.”

He relented, kissing you softly, just once, unable to help himself. “I’ve been doing a lot of thinking too these past few days. I talked to my therapist. It’s been a while. I’ve just been so happy I didn’t need to until…” Trailing off he gave an embarrassed shrug.

“That’s good you got back in contact with her.” He hadn’t actually spoken about his therapist since your first date and you’d never thought much about it, but it was great that he knew to seek help when he needed it.

“We talked a couple of times about everything. It was helpful.” He rubbed your back with a soothing hand. “I really am sorry my relationship with Nana is like this. There’s a lot of bitterness and hurt left over from all the years we stayed together. Maybe the truth is we should have never gotten married in the first place. We brought out the worst in one another until in the end it turned to hate, but I can’t regret it because she gave me my world.”

“Maybe realising all this is the next step for some type of closure,” you offered. He and Nana couldn’t keep this up. They needed to get along for Arin’s sake. They had to try and salvage some type of relationship if they wanted to continue co-parenting their daughter – their world.

“I think you’re right,” he agreed. “Now that everything is out in the open I feel so much better.”

“I’m glad.” You leaned in to kiss his cheek.

“So,” he hummed, sounding a lot more like himself, “where do we go from here?”

“I think we just carry on from where we left off.” As far as you were concerned everything had been resolved. All your questions and worries had been answered. You were both on the same page now and you could move on together. “When I was waiting for you to come back with that salad.”

“Sounds perfect.” He laughed, wasting no time with kissing you, properly this time, cupping your face to bring you closer. You settled in his lap soon after, his lips soft and warm, each glide of your tongues making you realise that all you wanted to do was be with him. Always.

“There is one change I’d like to make though,” he murmured, pulling away gradually, kisses becoming gentle pecks until he had the will power to stop completely. “I was going to wait until I took you to Paris, but maybe grand gestures don’t mean shit after I thought I’d lost you.”

Your heart flipped inside your chest just from the look he was giving you, the sheer determination in his eyes, and the way he cupped your face firmly. You thought you knew what was coming.

“I love you.”

You were still speechless for a moment though, but it was okay because he was still busy confessing.

“I know it may seem too fast and I don’t want to scare you away but I’ve fallen head over heels in love with you these past few months. I can’t remember what my life was like before you appeared in it.”

“I love you, too,” you gushed, coming to. “Of course you wouldn’t scare me away. Everything you just said, I feel exactly the same way.”

“Really?”

“Yes!” You exclaimed.

“It’s not too fast?”

“Not at all,” you shook your head. You’d been worried it was at first, but you’d been upset and scared. Now everything was clear. “Actually, there’s no such thing because I’m in this 110%.”

He chuckled then, brow line crinkling in the middle. “That sure?”

“Mhmm,” you nodded enthusiastically, hands holding the back of your neck. “Thank you for reversing into my car.”

That made him snort. “It’s no problem at all, but,” he leaned forward, tone serious, “I hate to break it to you, I’m in 1010%.”

You rolled your eyes playfully, ignoring his goofiness to kiss him again. Although this time there was something you couldn’t ignore any longer. “Oh my god,” you complained, itching your lips.

“What?” He was very obviously concerned.

“Your stubble keeps pricking me!” You whined. “What is going on?” You cupped his face, getting a better look at the situation. He did look rather handsome with stubble, you admit, but you’d keep that to yourself. “A few days without me and you forget to shave.”

He raised a dark eyebrow. “Isn’t that a thing? When you think you’ve lost the woman of your dreams you have to start growing out a beard, right?”

You snorted lightly. “You’d be there for years trying to grow out that thing.”

He tutted. “Rude.”

“But what, say that again? I’m the woman of your dreams?” You teased, pressing for more.

“I take it back now,” he scoffed.

“You can’t! You’ve said it now.”

“Shush,” he laughed. “Come here.” He wrapped his arms around you, pulling you close. “Stop talking and let me love you.”

It took a single press of his lips for you to listen.

You were slow and still sleepy when you awoke the next morning, gradually coming to, your eyes still closed. It was raining, you could hear the soft patter of it against the window as you became more aware, but you found it didn’t hinder the good mood you’d woken up in. Why would it?

Finally opening your eyes, although with effort, a soft focus Seokjin came into view, already awake and leaning over you slightly. He smiled when you saw him, a hand caressing your hip. “Good morning, beautiful.”

You smiled back, rolling into the side of his body, making the most of your sleepy state – and your boyfriend’s warmth. “How long have you been awake?” You asked with a small yawn.

You didn’t actually remember falling asleep last night. After you’d made up (and you were done with all that kissing), you’d asked him to stay over. You’d laid in bed, wrapped up in one another as you talked about anything and everything before your eyes had started to get heavy, Seokjin’s voice and your own sounding distant in no time. And now you were here.

“A few minutes,” he murmured, morning voice always an octave lower. It never stopped being sexy. You tangled your legs in his as he laid back down and realised his were now bare – he must have gotten too warm in the middle of the night.

He cupped your face, wanting you to look at him. “I was using the time to admire you.”

“Cheesy as always,” you chuckled.

“Of course,” he agreed easily, leaning in to rub his nose against yours. “I woke up and thought last night might have been a dream.”

“It wasn’t,” you whispered, getting lost in his eyes for a moment.

“I love you.”

With a soft groan you rolled onto your back. “Not fair, I was about to say that.”

“Too bad,” he laughed, that deep morning chuckle you loved, wrapping his arm around your middle as he kissed your cheek. “You snooze you lose.”

“I wasn’t snoozing.”

“You were – and snoring. I heard you.” He was trailing kisses along your jaw now.

“You didn’t!” You exclaimed. That was something you definitely did not do. “I don’t snore, take that back!”

You attempted to wriggle out of his hold but he wasn’t having any of it, both of his hands beginning to tickle your sides. “Seokjin!” You shrieked, starting to thrust your legs but he rolled on top of you, caging your body easily.

He stilled all movement and looked down, having way too much fun teasing you. “What?”

Before you could even think to reply he was kissing you. Somewhere along the way last night you’d gotten used to the stubble, quite liking the tingle across your lips now, so you didn’t gripe this morning. Holding your face he trailed wet kisses down your throat, teeth gently sinking into your collarbone. You let out a gasp, your fingers tangling in his hair as you pushed against his body, eager for more of his mouth.

His hands soon began roaming your body, slipping under your pyjama shirt to caress your skin. His fingers delicately traced the underside of your breasts, lifting his head up to kiss your mouth once before he spoke his request. “Can I see you?”

You smiled and nodded, watching as he started to undo the buttons with expertise. When you were fully revealed he looked at you with a grin. “Woah,” he stated simply.

“You’re acting like you’ve never seen them before,” you giggled.

“I don’t know, I’m pretty sure they’ve gotten bigger.” He mused, weighing your breasts in his hands.

You snorted, mouth dropping open when he captured one of your nipples between his lips. His used his hand to palm the other breast, pinching the nipple with his fingers and you moaned, arching into his touch. Against your crotch you could feel him growing hard – rapidly.

“Take this off,” you urged, tugging at his t-shirt. Your need for him was rising too, breathing becoming unsteady as Seokjin kneeled upright and ripped the piece of clothing off. You sat up, running your hands across the muscular swell of his chest. “Yup,” you nodded to yourself, “definitely gotten bigger.”

He chuckled quietly – shyly almost, and helped you take your shirt off, kissing across your shoulder as he eased you back against the pillows. Next, he got you out of your pyjama bottoms, kissing his way back up your stomach and between the valley of your breasts as his hand slid between your legs, rubbing you above your underwear. Squirming, warmth flooding you as his mouth found yours, your tongues mashing together in haste, your arms wrapped around him, holding him tight.

He slipped his hand inside your panties and loved what he found. “You’re so wet, honey,” he murmured, playfulness in his tone as he circled your clit with the pad of finger. His touch was so light it was unbearable and you whined, nuzzling into the crook of his neck.

He circled your entrance next but didn’t enter, collecting your arousal to rub your clit again. You dug your foot into the mattress, raising your hips to get more. His dick was fully erect now, pressing into your thigh, but he was in no rush, fully devoted when it came to pleasuring you. Dragging your underwear down your thighs, you helped push them off entirely, reaching for him and pulling him into a kiss, although he didn’t stay at your mouth long, kissing across your chest and down your stomach until he met his destination.

He didn’t get very far though, his hot breath making you wriggle about, thighs clamping around his head. “It tickles.”

“Tickles?” He repeated in amusement, nosing your inner thigh. He kissed your bikini line, ignoring your feeble giggles. “I’m not trying to tickle you.”

You held your breath as he placed a testing kiss against your centre, willing yourself not to squirm, but Seokjin took it slow, easing you into it, because your body had suddenly decided to turn hypersensitive in his absence. He continued to kiss your core, his tongue coming out to wash against you too, and soon enough you got used to the sensation.

“Good?” He asked against your clit, the vibrations making you flutter.

You nodded in reply, fingers of both hands reaching to tangle in his hair. He gave you a quick smile and then started to flick his tongue against the bundle of nerves rapidly, making your hips rise in shock as a moan drew from your throat. He gave you no time to recover, sucking on your clit now as he hummed in satisfaction. Body with a mind of its own, you spread your thighs, wanting to feel him even better.

He got the hint, using his hands to plant your feet on his shoulders, legs bent at the knee to open you up even wider for him. He continued to suck you softly, the tip of his tongue flicking back and forth at the same time, the stimulation so glorious you were sure you had tears in your eyes.

“Oh God, Seokjin,” you moaned as he pulled away abruptly, your head falling back against the pillow. You had been moments away from coming, you were almost positive.

He moaned himself as he licked a strip up your centre, pushing your knees higher up your body, exposing your clit even more so this time when he rolled it between his lips your hips jerked around uncontrollably, the pleasure too much. You felt him ease off but begged him not to stop, sounding possessed. “No, don’t stop. Please don’t stop.”

He continued, his eyes on you as he made your legs tremble and you dug your toes into his shoulders, clutching at his hair. “You gonna cum, baby?” He husked. You whined in reply, hips rolling into his face with desperateness. “Give it to me then.” He told you, once again suctioning his lips to your clit.

Your eyes clenched shut as you concentrated on his tongue, panting loudly as the muscles in your gut tightened. Your release hit you seconds later, lifting your hips up with one last burst of energy as he continued to work his tongue against your thrumming clit, your orgasm crashing through you in waves as you cried out. It was amazing, almost euphoric if you wanted to be dramatic (you did), your whole body satisfied and warm.

Seokjin tried to ride it out as long as possible, but soon you grew sensitive, your hands detaching themselves from his hair to fall limply to your side, chest rising and falling deeply as you tried to catch your breath. He wrapped his fingers around your ankles delicately and placed your legs down on the bed before hovering over your body. He was just as out of breath, your arousal smeared across his mouth and chin, and you kissed him greedily, wanting nothing more. You could feel him rutting against you, attempting to gain just a little bit of relief, and taking pity on him you cupped his erection over his underwear, giving him a squeeze. He groaned at the sensation, breaking away from your mouth.

You started to rub him as best you could as he kneeled between your legs, watching your hand at work. He chuckled in disbelief. “You have me so hard, shit.”

“That is my area of expertise,” you gloated, pulling his dick out of his boxer shorts. You ran your fist up and down it a few times, revelling in the smooth skin, thumb circling the head that was beading with precum.

His patience was crazy this morning, enjoying the way you touched him so much he leaned in to kiss you again, panting quietly against your lips as you sped up your movements, dragging your thumb across his slit in a bid to spread his arousal. He hissed, jerking into your hand, and you just about lost it. You wanted him, no, needed him inside you. Right this instant.

You looked him deep in the eyes, your noses practically touching as you gave him a squeeze. “Make love to me, Seokjin.”

He broke then, unable to deny you or himself any longer. His underwear was gone in a flash, thick cock bobbing as he guided you onto your side, fitting in beside you perfectly. He wrapped his hand around your calf, lifting your leg over his to spread you out a little and then he angled the head of his cock at your entrance, kissing your shoulder as he slowly began to push inside you.

You closed your eyes as you felt the drag, both of you groaning as he continued to fill you, his hand pushing one of your butt cheeks up a little so he could successfully bottom out. You stayed like that for a while, kissing one another, one of his arms hooked underneath your neck, hand cupping your chin, the other caressing your body, tracing across your stomach before softly cupping your breasts. The sensation had you sighing sweetly, pushing back into him and he couldn’t hold off any longer.

He thrusted slowly, practically all the way out just to push back in, filling you up over and over. It was glorious, his rhythm eliciting moan after moan, especially as he played with your chest, rolling your hardened nipples between his fingers. You could hear yourself, how wet you were, and you rolled yourself onto your side more, pushing your ass into him in a bid to get more.

He got the message, speeding up as you reached behind and ran your fingers through his hair. He loved that, grunting as he spoke against your ear, “A little faster, baby?”

All you could do was nod and respond with a garbled noise from somewhere deep within your throat, Seokjin’s thrusts gaining momentum as he started to pound against your ass, his laboured breathing blowing hot air against your cheek. One of his hands dug into the round of your ass, his teeth sinking into your shoulder as he growled softly, thrusts purposeful, unrelenting.

“Let me see your pretty face,” he panted after a few moments, pulling you into him and cupping your jaw. You twisted yourself, half flat to his sweaty chest as you spread your legs too, letting him thrust up into you. Your breasts jiggled with the force of his movements, his tongue pushing into your mouth, kiss sloppy and everything good.

His breathing got heavier, his movements turning slightly sloppy as he adjusted your body once again so he could kiss and caress your breasts instead. A hand played with the left one as his mouth licked and sucked the right, grunts falling from his lips now as he quickly lost himself. His thrusts got harder and his teeth grazed against your nipple. When you cried out, he loved that, squeezing your boob roughly, tearing another sound from your throat as your walls clamped around him, gripping him for all he was worth.

You knew he was done for when he sought your mouth again, chuckling huskily as you pecked kisses against his plump lips. You felt his dick pulse, thrusts messy as he chased his end, and then he stilled, groaning as his orgasm hit and he started spilling warmth inside of you.

He wrapped his arms around you tightly once it was over, hugging you to his body with even more kisses, both of you panting softly, enjoying the come down. In fact, you didn’t want it to end. Gradually falling soft, he stayed buried inside you and made no attempts to slip out. If anything, he was damn determined to stay there for as long as possible it seemed.

“I love you,” you told him sweetly, sweeping some of his hair out of his eyes, still engulfed by his heat.

He smiled, practically goofy, still drunk off your lovemaking. “I love you too, of course.”

And then it was back to kissing.

You had a week’s worth to catch up on, and an entirety more to look forward to.

*BONUS*

You (10:25am) Seokjin came over last night, we talked it out and made up 😊

Soojung (10:29am) Finally! ILY and I’m so happy for you best friend! But thanks for the heads up, I’ll be giving the house a wide berth this weekend See you Monday 😘

Written 2020 - 2021. Please refrain from posting my work elsewhere. No translations allowed. © floralseokjin 2021

#seokjin fanfic #bts fanfic #bts smut #seokjin smut #fic:mls #floralseokjin:writings

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theasstour · 3 years

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𝐁𝐞𝐠𝐢𝐧𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐬.

𝐖𝐎𝐑𝐃 𝐂𝐎𝐔𝐍𝐓: 𝟏𝟐.𝟏𝐤 𝐍𝐁: 𝐚𝐥𝐜𝐨𝐡𝐨𝐥, 𝐚𝐧𝐱𝐢𝐞𝐭𝐲 𝐝𝐢𝐬𝐨𝐫𝐝𝐞𝐫, 𝐞𝐱𝐩𝐥𝐢𝐜𝐢𝐭 𝐥𝐚𝐧𝐠𝐮𝐚𝐠𝐞

A/N: IT’S FINALLY HERE! ARCHITECT!HARRY! 🏛️❣️✨ It’s been ages since I posted writing on here and it feels good to be back! Believe me when I say that though nothing much happens in this chapter, something will go down in absolutely every chapter, so you’ll hopefully be entertained at one point AOIJFOIREJ! I absolutely adore architect!harry (yearly as much as I adore you lot), I hope you lot will too! Now, let’s start this journey, shall we? 🥰🌟

Friday, 15 September 2017

Monday September 8th 2014. Y/N had spent an abnormal amount of time thinking about that day over the last three years. Sometimes, even if she were in the middle of something else or thinking about a topic completely unrelated, it would just come back to her. Like a flash, as if someone turned on the dim light inside a dark room, she would be taken back to a time, a moment, that would be burned into her brain forever. It would paralyse her for a few seconds, making her unable to do or think or be anything besides that memory. It was almost like, at this point, she thought the ghost of her sister would never quite leave her.

The countless times she had recounted this specific memory, Y/N could never remember exactly what it was that had woken her that late Monday night, or morning rather, in September 2014. One second she was asleep, and then the next, she was awake. She remembered herself looking at the blinds of the window, how they weren’t fully closed that night for some reason, so the orange light from the streetlamp outside shone through the small slits, her room completely silent. This must have been what woke her up from her trance. The blinds were always closed, and the window was always open, letting in fresh air and the noises of Nottingham into her room. It was like her conscious had done it for her, alerted her that something was off and she needed to check her surroundings.

Y/N blinked, realising that the only sound in the room was her eyelids meeting and parting, and the rustling of her bedsheets as she made to sit up in bed. That was when she noticed a flicker of movement in the shadow beside her door. Something unexpected, something unlike what normally was.

“Hello?” Y/N asked, voice hoarse as she sat up completely in bed.

The room was quiet save for the sound of a trainer against Y/N’s carpeted floor. It was faint, and had Y/N’s window been open, she probably would not have heard it. She didn’t remember how she felt in that moment, it was like all emotion was stripped from that memory in order for her to objectively pick it apart over and over and over again. She could therefore not remember how she had felt when she recognised her sister, but she knew she must have been shocked.

“Marcela?” Y/N asked when she recognised the short brown hair of her sister in the shadow on the wall.

A small sigh and Y/N’s older sister stepped forward, letting the dim light of the outside streetlamp wash over her. Y/N had always envied her older sister for right about anything. The colour of her brown eyes, the way her hair looked almost bronze-coloured if the sun hit it just right on late summer afternoons, her wide and pretty smile, charming personality, and slim body were some of the many things that Y/N was jealous of. It just seemed like her sister lived a better, more eventful and meaningful life than Y/N ever would.

Even standing there, wearing a white and lilac floral summer dress, dungaree jacket and white Vans, in the middle of the night or early morning, Y/N thought Marcela had everything together. But whatever happened next to Y/N’s sister, Marcela could never have had it fully together, Y/N realised that now. Nothing that gruesome, that unknowable, could happen to someone who had it all figured out.

“Mari, what’re you doing here?” Y/N asked, reaching for her glasses on the nightstand and pushing them onto her face. “Aren’t you supposed to be in Newport?”

“Yeah,” Marcela answered, smiling at Y/N as if her being in her little sister’s room that late at night, when the world was asleep, was completely normal.

“What’re you doing here?” Y/N asked again.

“I forgot some things. Kit and I are on the way back. He’s waiting in the car.”

In that moment, Y/N did not think to ask Marcela of what exactly her sister had forgotten in Y/N’s room, which was again something she had beaten herself up for since.

“Y/N,” Marcela said, cocking her head to the side and smiling ever so slightly. “You should be asleep.”

Y/N forgot how to speak, just looking at her older sister as her still slow and sleepy brain tried to comprehend what was going on.

“It’s late, you’ve got school tomorrow.” Marcela walked backward towards the door, still directing that same reassuring smile at Y/N on the way there. “You know how grumpy you’re gonna be tomorrow morning if you don’t get your eight hours.”

“When will you be back?”

Marcela smiled. “Next weekend. I told you this.”

Y/N nodded again, feeling like this was all some sort of hallucination. Maybe it was just a dream.

Marcela held up her right hand and showed off the tattoo just below her thumb. One letter, for Y/N. Y/N’s hand immediately fell to the M just below her own right thumb. A M for Marcela. They had gotten it four months earlier for Y/N’s 16th. Y/N still remembered how scared she was, she did not want to be in pain. Marcela had informed her that it would hurt, but it would all be worth it in the end. Her sister had gotten a few tattoos, most of them up and down her arms, but Y/N knew she wanted even more of them. Y/N supposed her love for tattoos had started because of her sister. After her sister died, Y/N had just gone on to get more and more tattoos. She supposed it had been a coping mechanism in the beginning, to somehow feel close to Marcela, yet forget about her and everything for a little while as the smell of fresh ink, the sound of the needle, and the feel of a tingling pain took over all she knew.

“I’ll be back next weekend. Promise. Just let me have this week with Kit, yeah?”

Y/N swore she could hear a slight tremor to her sister’s voice. However, Marcela was not shaking as she took a hold of the door handle, and she did not look the slightest bit scared or like she was crying for help. No, she just looked like the Marcela Y/N had always known. And that was the problem. Nothing had been out of the ordinary. Something had to have been out of the ordinary.

“Y/N?”

She blinked, realising that she had been fixated on the M tattoo by her thumb again. She would sometimes drift off like this, thrown back to that moment in time that haunted her still, three years later.

“Amorzinho?”

Y/N looked up at her father who glanced over his shoulder at her, a slight furrow to his brows as if he knew exactly where she had just been. Davi and Y/N had always understood each other like that, especially after everything with Marcela happened three years ago. They would sometimes just find the other one staring out into thin air, or at something significant to Marcela, and the other would know right away where the other one had gone. Y/N did not know what memory her papai went back to, she never asked and, quite frankly, did not want to know. That whole experience was hard enough as it was, she had enough with her own memories and regrets.

“Y/N, you alright?” Davi asked, reaching for his daughter’s knee and squeezing it lightly. His positioning was a bit awkward from where he sat in the passenger seat and she sat right behind him in the car, but she felt reassured by his tender action nevertheless.

“Alright, pai,” Y/N answered, laying her hand on top of his.

Her father had always been the affectionate type. He would always go around touching the people that meant the most to him, whether it was a light caress to their cheek, a squeeze to their shoulder, a long hug, or a kiss to their cheek. Having grown up with a single mother and an older sister, he had learned from the best, and had not changed, even for his wife who had never been huge on showing affection. Y/N guessed that, in the case of her parents, opposites really did attract.

Where her father was loud, welcoming, and vulnerable, her mother was a bit more reserved, quiet, and tough. However, when Lottie had, at the ripe age of 24, travelled around South America with her mates after finishing her business degree, she had met Davi in Santos in Southern Brazil, the state of São Paulo, and they had fallen in love right away. It took a year for Lottie to leave Santos after that, bringing her then fiancé with her home to meet her family in Nottingham. Since then, the two of them had been together, and had brought Marcela and Y/N into this world.

It would be weird to not spend every single day with her parents. Everything was about to change drastically. The last time abrupt and extreme change had happened was that morning when Y/N’s parents realised Marcela hadn’t made it home from their cabin in Newport, Wales in time. It had been the day she disappeared. When they had gotten the news that she was murdered.

Y/N hoped her papai couldn’t tell that she was shaking.

“It’s not far now,” Lottie said from the driver’s seat. “Just a few minutes.”

Y/N nodded, looking out at the busy streets of North London as they drove on.

“You know what?” Davi said.

“What?”

“I think this is gonna be amazing.”

Y/N smiled at that, squeezing her father’s hand. “Yeah… I think it might be, too.”

“You will meet so many new people and learn so much. It will be the best time of your life.”

“I’ve told you, love. University was the absolute best time of my life.”

Davi looked at his wife.

Lottie clicked her tongue. “Oh, you know what I mean!”

“I do not. You say the best thing to ever happen to you is me, and yet-“

“-Darling, uni was the best time of my life, but meeting you was the best thing to happen to me.”

Davi threw his hands up in the air in exaggerated frustration, muttering something in Portuguese that Y/N did not catch. However, she couldn’t help her slight chuckle, and the grin on her face only widened when she saw her mother smiling, and then her father taking her hand, planting a lingering kiss to her skin before putting it back on the steering wheel. It was nice to witness casual affection between them like this. It was normal for Y/N to see it at this point, they had been like this her entire time growing up, but it was nice to be reminded that her parents loved each other.

“We’ll be on Orsman Road in five minutes tops,” Lottie said, looking back at Y/N as she stopped at a red light. “Nathan’s gonna meet you outside with your flat keys and such, yeah?”

“Yeah, he said he’d pick them up for me at the letting firm before I arrived.”

“Good,” Davi said.

“It’s nice that you get to move into an actual flat your first year of uni so that you get to be with someone you already know,” Lottie said. “As long as the uni’s got your address and knows you’ve got someplace to live, not living in uni accommodation is alright, if I understand correctly.”

“That’s what they said, anyway,” Y/N said.

“You just need a home. You’ll be home with Nathan.”

Y/N nodded, looking out at Hackney as they drove on. “Yeah.”

“He’ll take you to campus after, yes? So you can register and everything?”

Though Y/N had gone over this plan with her parents countless of times these last three hours, as well as the days leading up to departure, it seemed that her mum needed to be reminded one too many times. Taking a deep breath, Y/N said, “Yes.”

“Good. It’s important that you make it there by your time slot at 5. Reckon there’s heaps of students that are going to register at Helmond today.”

“Probs.”

“It’s important to be on time.”

“We will be.”

“Yeah, remember-“

“-Charlotte,” Davi said, putting his hand on his wife’s thigh. “Y/N’s got it under control.”

Lottie chanced a look at Davi as she turned off the main road and onto a smaller one. Y/N recognised this street from the FaceTime calls with Nathan where he had shown her around the street and flat. Though Y/N had been looking forward to this day for what felt like centuries, parts of her were still nervous, and Nathan’s video guides around her new flat and new neighbourhood had calmed her nerves considerably. She felt like she had already been here, but she could not wait to explore the areas of Hoxton and Hackney that she had yet to see.

As they drove down Orsman Road, Y/N could make out a figure in the distance that she felt like she had not seen in ages. A grin was instantly planted on her face and she fidgeted in her seat, wanting to jump out of the car and in Nathan’s direction. Her tall, lanky, slim, red-haired best friend stood by the entrance to what Y/N assumed would be 36 Orsman Road, squinting in the direction of Y/N’s car. At the sight of it, he started jumping up and down, waving enthusiastically as if he was stranded on a deserted island and a plane was flying by over him. Davi laughed, recognising his daughter’s best friend from the countless sleepovers, dinner parties, and drives home drunk from house parties on the other side of town.

Nathan banged on the window as Lottie parked the car by the side of the road, walking as the car was reversed into place, grinning at Y/N the entire time.

“Oh, my life,” Nathan said through the window, hands pressed against it. Y/N pressed her own against his. “I swear, you’ve taken ages. Thought you were gonna stand me up there.”

“Mate,” Y/N said, opening the car and throwing herself into Nathan’s arms. “Couldn’t miss going to uni with you, could I?”

Nathan squealed and hugged Y/N back, though he had to bend at an unnatural angle in order to do so.

“Nate, how are you?” Lottie asked as her and Davi started unloading the boot of the car, putting bags and boxes on the pavement to be carried upstairs.

“Can’t complain, Lottie, I really can’t. Just moved into a flat with me mates, we might go out tonight, and I have the pleasure of seeing your beautiful face today.”

Lottie laughed, squeezing Nathan’s arm before putting one of Y/N’s bags on her shoulder.

“Right, it’s the first and second floor,” Nathan explained, and upon seeing Davi’s confused expression, added, “It’s split-level.”

“Ahh!”

“Right.” Nathan bent down, taking one of the cardboard boxes. “I’ll show the way.”

“Stay behind, will you, darling?” Lottie asked Davi. “Just so we don’t leave anything on the pavement for anyone to nick.”

“Yes, you go ahead,” Davi answered, waving them off.

Nathan opened the front door and let Y/N and Lottie enter first. From the video calls, Y/N knew that once she arrived at the first story landing, the door to the left would be her and Nathan’s flat. Her new home. She was unsure if it would really dawn on her that she was going to be living on her own, without her parents, for the next three years, two of which were spent with Nathan in this flat. Living without her parents seemed liberating, but also terrifying. How was she going to survive without her papai’s cooking? Without the sound of her mother’s sewing machine? Without hearing their laughter as they watched something on the telly in the living room right below her room? How would she just go on living normally without them being close, like they had been all her life?

Nathan used his elbow to open the door and walked on in first this time to hold the door open for Y/N and her mum. Now, with her own two eyes, Y/N took in the place she would be living in over the next year, maybe two. The foyer they entered wasn’t long, but it had no particular furniture in it except for a painting on the wall opposite the stairs. Y/N suspected the landlord had printed out the popular painting and put it in a frame.

To her left was a slim white door – which matched the rest of the walls of the flat – that she knew to be the very spacious wardrobe. She would put her cardboard boxes and bags there once she was done unpacking, at least that was what Nathan had told her over FaceTime because he had done just that himself. To the right was another white door, this one with a window over it, and yet again, she knew this was where the kitchen would be. The door was open as she walked by, so she sneaked a look at it. The European Oak parquet stood in nice, warm contrast to the white cupboards and black countertops that went along the right wall and the wall right opposite to the door. Above the counter to the right, along the white tiled wall, was a long and small window. The view was nothing to brag about, just a greyish brick building and the pub on the other side of the road, The Stag’s Head.

Further along, the door into the living room stood open. As Lottie studied the kitchen, Y/N stood in the doorway to the shared space to just take a good look with her own two eyes. This, along with the bedrooms upstairs, was the only place in the flat with carpeted floor. The grey carpeted floor looked worn, as if it had been stepped on and used for countless of years prior, there were stains some places from what Y/N could only assume to be red wine and coffee. The left wall had four sets of windows; two smaller ones on the side and two bigger ones in the middle, where the smaller ones were the only ones it seemed that the tenants could open. The windows overlooked Regent’s Canal and the dark brown brick buildings on the other side. Not the prettiest view, but then, they were students and there weren’t many places in Haggerston, London that offered something pretty to look at.

Right underneath the windows, there was a radiator, and right beside that, positioned with its back against the wall opposite to the door where Y/N stood, was a blue sofa. In front of it, positioned against the wall facing it, was a table where a small telly was propped. A PlayStation was already plugged in and Y/N hoped it would be possible for her to somehow play Mario Kart on it as any other games did not interest her. Beside the sofa and the wooden coffee table in front of it, stood a red Poäng Ikea armchair with a footrest to match. That one also looked as worn as the rest of the living room. Y/N was sure that if she sat down, the chair would simply give out and turn to dust under her.

“Up we go,” Nathan said, walking straight past Y/N and up the stairs that leaned against the wall opposite to the living room and kitchen.

Before following her best friend, Y/N looked out through the windowed door, leading out to a mini terrace. You could barely fit two people out there, but she reckoned it would be a lush way to start her mornings. A fresh cuppa and the dreary sight of Haggerston.

“Y/N, you coming?!” Nathan called, making Y/N jump.

She looked back at her mum who just flashed a tight-lipped smile her way. Taking that as a good enough sign, Y/N followed Nathan upstairs. The hallway she was then presented with looked exactly like the one downstairs. However, right in front of her were two doors; the one to the left leading to the small toilet room, and the one beside it to the sink and shower. There was a door to her right as she came upstairs, two to her left, and another one right above where the terrace would be downstairs. That was the room Nathan was in now, putting down Y/N’s cardboard box.

“I’ll run downstairs and let Davi up so he can have a look,” Nathan smiled, walking past Y/N and Lottie to run down to the ground floor again.

The only things the room had to offer were a queen-sized bed, which at 204cm, took up all the space from wall to wall, but luckily enough, there was a drawer behind the door where Y/N could at least put all her clothes. This was the smallest room she had ever lived in.

“This is… rather spacious,” Lottie said, walking over to the windows above the bed and opening them both to let some fresh air in.

“Can’t really expect much if I’m gonna live in London, though. And I’m a student.”

“Precisely.” Lottie took her hands on her hips, looking out at the view from Y/N’s window. It was the same one as from the terrace just under them. The weather that day had been just as nice as Y/N had suspected of the South; a little-too-hot early autumn afternoon, partly cloudy, with busy pavements and crowded parks. She knew that the weather would soon match what she was used to from the Midlands. Even though she would now live farther south, she knew lousy weather was just as likely in London as it was in Nottingham. Y/N was suddenly very happy her mother had opened the windows to let in some of the canal wind.

A small sniffle sounded, and Y/N immediately looked to Lottie who still had her face turned away from her daughter.

“Mum?”

“Look at that!” Davi exclaimed, entering the room with a massive grin on his face.

The different reactions her parents had to the flat just reminded Y/N of how different they were.

“I know, pai,” Y/N said, looking around her room. “A wee bit small, but I’ve never needed much, have I?”

“With all those clothes you’ve brought?!” Lottie asked, looking down at the bag where Y/N’s clothes were, still not meeting anyone’s gaze. “You have too much clothes for your own good. When do you even use most of it?”

“Well, I don’t usually bring out the crop tops and see-through shirts for family gatherings, mum. Might be it.”

“Thank God.”

Y/N watched her mum for a few seconds, knowing something was wrong the moment she started fussing over the bare bed in front of her.

“You need a nightstand,” Davi pointed out, walking over to stand by the bed, indicating with his hand where the nightstand would go. “And a desk.”

“Nathan and I talked about popping by an Ikea. Nearest one’s in Greenwich, I think. Or Wembley.”

“Good! Nathan hasn’t brought his car down, has he?” Davi asked.

“No, he left it-“

“-Speaking of Nathan, I’ll go downstairs and let him carry the last box upstairs.” Before either Davi or Y/N could say anything else, Lottie was out the door and down the stairs, walking down to the car again.

Y/N looked at her papai, seeing a slight furrow to his brows as he regarded his wife retreating downstairs.

“What’s wrong?” Y/N asked in a low voice, listening to the sound of her mother’s footsteps down the stairs.

Davi met Y/N’s eyes, shrugging one shoulder. “Think she’s a little sad.”

Y/N bit the side of her mouth, sighing slowly.

“It’s a weird day. You’re moving away to University, and last time… last time we drove one of our daughters away like this, she didn’t come home.”

For some reason, Y/N had seen something like this happening. Though her mother had a weird way of showing it, she was constantly terrified after what happened to Marcela, and she was especially protective of Y/N. It had been hard for Lottie to let Y/N have any sort of social life that first year after Marcela. She would want to know everything about where Y/N was heading, who would be there, what they were going to do, and when Lottie could come and pick her up. Though this had been alright in the beginning - Y/N had known even then that it must be her mother’s way of coping with everything – it got a bit much as months, and then years went on. Y/N loved her mother, she really did, but she acted as if Y/N could not protect or take care of herself, something she was more than capable of.

“Pai, I won’t die at uni.”

“I know,” Davi said, wrapping an arm around Y/N’s shoulders. “But your mother still has a hard time taking it all in. You won’t be home, and she won’t have you near anymore. It’ll be a lot.”

Y/N nodded, resting her head back against her papai’s arm.

“Cosy moment,” Nathan smiled as he entered the room with the last box, placing it down on the floor beside the other ones.

“Is mum downstairs?” Y/N asked.

“Yeah, she’s by the car. Think she’s waiting for you two.”

Y/N and Davi nodded, Davi then taking a last look around his daughter’s room, smiling as he already knew she would make the bleak setting one many would envy. Y/N, after all, had always had a sense for these kinds of things.

“I’ll wait in my room, which is the one by the toilet,” Nathan informed, pointing to the open door behind him. “Just come knock when you’re ready to head for the uni, yeah?”

“Yeah, I’ll only be a minute.”

“No worries, babes, take all the time you need.”

Y/N smiled, walking past Nathan while Davi gave him a hug, wishing him good luck to come in the approaching first semester of University. It would be Nathan’s second year, so he knew what he was going into compared to her, but she knew Nathan appreciated Davi’s encouraging words regardless.

Y/N walked down towards the ground floor, her papai right behind her as they exited the flat building. Lottie stood by the car, arms crossed and eyes on something further up the street. It was as if she was looking for something, making sure it was safe for her Y/N to live there without her mother’s supervision.

“Mum,” Y/N said, now recognising the worry on her mother’s face. “Mum, it’ll be alright.”

She walked straight for her mother, wrapping her arms around her in a tight embrace. Though it would normally have been the other way around, the parents reassuring their kid they would be fine on their own, Y/N now patted her mother on the back and felt her bury her face into her daughter’s shoulder. Davi walked over as well, placing a hand on Lottie’s arm, squeezing her lightly. Some time went by without any one of them saying anything, just feeling and processing the words left unsaid.

Soon, Davi let out a small sigh, hugging the back of Y/N’s frame and mumbling her name against the top of his daughter’s head.

“We’re going to miss you,” he said, leaving a kiss against her hair.

Too caught up in her mother’s sadness, Y/N did not realise until just then that this was the moment she had been dreading. This one, where she stood by her parents’ car, saying goodbye to them and watching them start on their drive back home to Nottingham without her.

It was a complex state of being. Going away to University, starting a new life for herself, was something Y/N had dreamed of for as long as she could remember. She wanted to experience new things and to study something she was passionate about. But part of her was still pulling her back towards Nottingham, home. It would feel wrong, maybe even like being abandoned, thrust into adult reality, when she watched her parents drive off.

The thought of her living in the biggest city in the country by herself, did not sit right with her in that second. She was suddenly six again, her papai teaching her how to ride a bike. She was eleven, getting her period for the first time and her mother showing her how to use a pad. She was sixteen, having forgotten she had an important maths exam the next day, resulting in her and Davi sitting up for hours until she knew what she was doing. She lived at home, where her parents could protect her, help her, guide her, and provide for her at any given second. They would always be there whenever she needed them, always close and ready to pour every ounce of love onto her.

But now, even though she knew her parents would still love her the same and always be at her service whenever she needed them, now they would live separate lives. She would still be part of their lives and they would be part of hers, but they would not intermingle, get stuck, and weave themselves together like they had done since Y/N’s day of birth and until now. Y/N had not lived a single day in her life where she had not physically been close to her parents in one form or another. She had known it would be hard to watch them leave, she knew she would hate herself for this once she sat in her room all alone that same night or when researching information for an essay in a month’s time. Even though part of her was looking forward to what was to come, another part did not want to be left. She wanted a new life, but she was terrified of letting the old one, the safe one, go.

“Oh, my baby,” Lottie said as she pulled away, taking Y/N’s face in her hands. “My wee Y/N.”

Y/N went back in for another hug just so her mother wouldn’t see how glassy her eyes were. She felt them stinging and knew she would shed a tear soon.

“You will have no problems at uni,” Davi said, squeezing his daughter.

“How do you know that?” Y/N mumbled into her mother’s shoulder, closing her eyes as to make sure no tears escaped. She felt pathetic, but the overwhelming realisation that her parents would leave her in a few minutes had hit her like a brick.

“Because we know you. We know you’ll make friends; we know you’ll excel.” Davi took a step away, placing both hands on her shoulders. “Deep down, you know that, too.”

“As much as I hate the fact that I won’t get to see you every single day or know what you’re doing, I know you’re going to love being at University and you’re going to love London,” Lottie said, rubbing Y/N’s back.

“I don’t want you to leave.” Y/N sounded like a wee child, refusing to let her parents leave her at kindergarten for seven hours.

Davi squeezed Y/N’s shoulders again. “It’ll be alright, querida.”

“You don’t know that.”

“But I do. You feel like this now because this is a huge change. University is the beginning of adult life, it’s scary, but you’ll love it.”

Y/N chose not to argue with her papai as she knew he was only trying to make her feel better. And also, though she did not want them to leave, she knew that the longer she stayed there with them, the higher the risk was for her to bawl her eyes out into her mum’s shoulders. Slowly, making sure to wipe her eyes discreetly against her mother’s shoulder, Y/N stepped away from her parents, trying to smile at them both. She knew they could tell she was about to cry, but was grateful that neither one of them pointed it out.

“Goodbye, my baby,” Lottie said, stroking Y/N’s cheek. “Please call us tonight or tomorrow, we want to see your room when it’s all finished.”

Y/N nodded. She always kept her mouth shut when she was about to cry, it was as if speaking made all emotion float out of her through her open mouth, and she started crying uncontrollably.

“We’ll see you soon,” Davi smiled. “Remember to have fun, yes? This is going to be so much better than you think.”

She smiled, watching her father sit down in the passenger side and her mother climb into the driver’s side.

“Remember your time slot, Y/N. Remember to get to the uni on time to register-“

“-Lotts,” Davi warned.

“Right, alright,” Lottie sighed, getting the car going. She turned back to Y/N one last time blowing her a kiss. “Love you.”

“Te amo!” Davi shouted, waving and grinning at his daughter.

Y/N was left standing there looking after the car as her parents drove off. She was unable to move for a moment, the only thing she managed to do was stare after the car until it was out of sight. When it was, Y/N felt an instant sort of empty feeling in her stomach. She was on her own. Her parents were on their way back to Nottingham, and she was here. In London. Alone. Momentarily, Y/N’s excitement about uni and everything she would experience these next three years, was all insignificant. The lack of her parents’ presence was like stripping reality of warm colour, replacing them with the dreary and cold.

She felt her eyes begin to sting and let one tear roll down her cheek. Then, wiping the next few off her face, she started making her way up to her new flat. She closed the ground door behind her, and then the front door of the flat when she reached it. Nathan was out on the balcony with a cigarette in one hand and his phone in the other. He did not notice Y/N as she walked up to her room again and she was very happy he did not.

Walking straight for the bathroom, the door right in front of the stairs once you reached the first storey of the split flat, Y/N closed and locked the door afterwards. She turned water on, scooped some coldness into her hands and splashed it over her face. Without hesitating, she did it again, turning the tap off before looking at herself in the mirror above the sink. She wiped the water off her face with the sleeves of her jumper, cursing herself for not having brought a towel in with her.

“You’re a bad bitch,” she hissed at her reflection. “Why’re you crying?”

A small gasp left Y/N’s lips and she turned the tap on again, splashing her face with more cold water. She had no idea if it was helping any, but she had a strange sense that by doing it, she would feel better afterwards. However, looking at herself in the mirror again, she did not feel the least bit better.

“What’s wrong with you?” she asked herself in a whisper. “Can you stop crying? There’s literally no need to cry.”

But there was, her brain retorted, and that alone brought more tears to her eyes. Y/N knew that had she been driven down here by her parents to be on holiday for a week or two, she would not have cried. Maybe she would have cried the day before going home because she would rather be in London than Nottingham because she loved it so much, but she would not have cried when her parents drove off. In fact, she was sure she would have loved to see them go and known she was free to do whatever she wanted, when she wanted.

But this was different. She lived in London now. Her mother couldn’t just come whenever Y/N needed her, and her papai couldn’t stop whatever he was doing to help her with whatever she was struggling with. It was a new life. A new beginning. And she had to do it all alone. She was used to being alone by choice, she didn’t like this feeling of alone.

“Y/N?!” Nathan called as he walked up the stairs. “Y/N, you in your room?!”

Taking a deep breath and wiping a little excess water off her cheek, she unlocked the bathroom door and stepped outside just as Nathan stood in the doorway of her room. Nathan took one look at her and said, in a quiet and low tone, “They left?”

Y/N inhaled slowly. “Yeah.”

Nathan walked over to her, bringing her in for a hug. Y/N hugged him back tightly, appreciating the reassurance. She knew she wasn’t alone, she had Nathan after all, but it was still strange to be here without her parents.

All her time throughout school, Y/N had looked forward to moving away to University. Her and Nathan had planned out their lives once they got to uni, in detail, and could spend hours on end just making plans for Freshers Week and the parties they would attend. Having been friends since year three of school, the two of them had made a lot of plans throughout the years. Most of the plans, they had never gone through with, but it was still fun to imagine. Neither could remember what exactly had gotten them to talk to one another that first time, but they had always suspected it was their mutual friend, Ella, who had gotten them talking. Since then, Nathan and Y/N had been inseparable.

They always did the stupidest things together, annoying all their friends and family. They got their license on the same day, would often sleep out in one of their gardens just because they could, always made the other a Build-a-Bear for their birthday, knew each other’s favourite scents, tastes, turn ons and turn offs, and everything in between. It was a friendship that was seen as maybe a little too close, but once you found your soulmate, there were no boundaries anymore. At least that was how Y/N and Nathan saw it. Besides, there was a sense of bond between them that only people identifying as queer could understand. Though neither of them had known at the age of seven when they met that they would grow up to identify as gay and bisexual, they knew now that their bodies, on some level, had known, and therefore drawn them to one another.

When you’re around other people from the LGBT community, there is not only a sense of understanding between you, but also undeniable, immeasurable comfort and support. No matter what. It’s a home, someplace to be completely you, without feeling like you need to tone it down or be ashamed, something the outer world sometimes could make you think you needed to. Y/N was therefore incredibly happy that her, as a bisexual, had found Nathan, who was himself with his whole heart, and who encouraged her to be the same.

“You ready to go to uni?” Nathan asked.

“Yeah, I’ll just change into a tee shirt.”

Nathan let go of her and followed her into her room.

Having always been plus size, Y/N broke a sweat rather easily. She therefore knew that she might freeze a bit in the beginning, but if her and Nathan were supposed to walk up and down stairs at tube stations and walk indoors at Helmond, she would need to wear a tee shirt to cool herself down some.

She took her jumper off, lobbing it on the still empty bed before she opened her bag filled with tops. She dragged a tee shirt out at random, taking a look at the black tee shirt with a white half moon embroidered onto the chest. Dragging it over her head, she walked to the full-body mirror that her mother had insisted on her bringing. She said there were rarely mirrors in student houses, and she was right. Looking at herself, Y/N ran a hand over her black denim shorts, studying how her faux leather sock boots went with the rest of her outfit. The chunky soles were amazing for walking, and she knew her feet would be aching by the time they got back home.

“Hmm,” Y/N said. “Might change into jeans, actually.”

“Why?” Nathan asked, furrowing his brows. “You look good in that.”

“I know, but the chafing.”

Nathan, who had heard this before, only nodded. With his noodle legs, he had never experienced chafing, and therefore did not say anything. Y/N knew this and appreciated him not trying to relate to her problems as a plus size woman. He could understand many of her problems, but never that.

Bringing her trouser bag forth, she got a pair of black jeans out, putting them on, making sure the sock boots were on the outside of the tight-fitted denim, and then the two of them were on their way. Y/N brought a tote bag, putting her phone, purse, and flat keys in it.

They arrived at Haggerston tube station on Lee Street, and once they were there, Nathan helped Y/N set up her Oyster card. The card would be an easier payment method for public transport around London, and though she could easily just tap her bank card, an Oyster card was, according to Nathan, a better way of doing it.

“You can use it for right about anything,” Nathan explained as they stood by the Overground platform, waiting for the Crystal Palace / New Cross / West Croydon train to arrive. “We’re talking Underground, Overground, Tramlink, all buses, River Services, you name it.”

“You always take the tube to uni.”

“I beg to differ.”

“Nate, you literally send a snapchat every single day before you go to uni of you sitting on the Overground.”

Nathan tutted, shaking his head. “I also walk.”

“When?”

“Blimey, I can walk. I do have legs, have you seen them?”

“Pretty hard to miss when they take up 80% of your body.”

Nathan gasped, nudging Y/N before the two of them laughed. The train arrived, and they got onboard, sitting down on one of them orange seats along the walls. They got off at Whitechapel, weaving past people to get to the Underground this time. They took an escalator down to the District and Hammersmith & City lines, Y/N following Nathan as he made a right turn for the Eastbound route.

“I know that exact walk, from the Overground to the District Line, like the back of my hand,” Nathan said, grinning proudly as they stepped aboard the train, holding onto the pole in between two doors. The doors closed, and Y/N had to hold on tight as not to faceplant onto the tube floor. That would not have been an ideal way of starting her conversion into a proper Londoner.

“Thought you said you walked to uni as well.”

“Well, I still do!”

“Alright.” Y/N nodded. “When’re we getting off?”

“Stepney Green.”

“This is Stepney Green. Change here for Hammersmith & City-“

Y/N raised her eyebrows at Nathan. “Really? Not even one stop?”

“Leave off, you hag.”

“Please, mind the gap between the train and the platform edge.”

The two walked up to the surface again and started on their ten-minute walk to Helmond from there. Y/N thought it would take them longer to get there considering she was a slow walker, something Nathan always had to consider when walking around with her, but it did not. The lack of her parents’ presence still hung in the air around her, it was still thick as fog, and she knew the longing for their closeness would not clear away within the next few days, but the moment she set her eyes on her University, she forgot about everything for just a little bit.

Helmond, University of London rose up before them in beautiful red and white bricks, shining in the late September sun like a lone castle in the middle of a vast and dark forest. It felt like Y/N had been without food and water for days, and the sign of the castle, the sign of life, brought a new sense of meaning to her. The massive University took up an entire 175-acre rectangle in London, enrolling a total of 20 thousand students, and being the second biggest London University for that reason alone, only barely beaten by Battersea, University of London, who hosted 35 thousand. Regardless, Helmond was the oldest uni in London, the first one to be established in the capital in 1817. Y/N felt very small looking at it, even though it wasn’t a particularly tall building, but she knew how big it was from the Open Day she had spent walking around campus grounds with her parents.

Nathan led Y/N over to the stairs and the two walked on in. It was like stepping right into a Renaissance painting. The ceilings were tall and vaulted, grand pillars against the walls up and down the halls. This hall was white, but Y/N knew that in other places in Helmond, the ceilings were painted, making it look like a sort of Versailles rip-off.

Immediately as you walked in, you stepped into the entry hall that was filled with first years trying to find their way around the uni. Right ahead was the reception area and a statue of Victor Helmond, the founder of the school and the first headmaster. To Y/N, he looked right about just like those old statues from the 1800s did, he was no different with his medium height, messy hair, and beard. Through the tall French windows behind the reception and statue, Y/N glimpsed one of the two massive courtyards in the middle of the University.

The uni was built around two quads, separating them was another quad just behind a red and white brick bridge, making it easier for students to get to lectures on time instead of walking their way through the long hallways, past lecture halls, cafeteria, and shops. Y/N could envision herself walking that bridge quite a few times over the next few years. There was another statue in the middle of the courtyard Y/N could see now, red and white tiled paths leading up to the fountain it stood on from each of the four walls facing it. The other courtyard was a replica of this one, only the statue was different. The one Y/N could see was Victor Helmond’s wife, Maud, and she knew that in the other courtyard, there was a statue of Queen Victoria. She had been told all of this on her Open Day months ago.

People were sitting in the grass of the quads, either with books in their hands or surrounded by friends. No one looked to have a care in the world, not even another oncoming year at uni. Y/N wished she could be as relaxed as them, and told herself that at one point, when she felt more at home here, she would.

“Coming?” Nathan asked after a little while, walking backwards while keeping his eyes on Y/N.

“Yeah.”

She followed him and the two walked further down the hall where there was a queue. Nathan stopped there and smiled at Y/N, nodding in the direction of the open door.

“Won’t be too long, there are tons of student representatives standing there, so it’ll take us ten minutes,” Nathan explained.

And he was right, it did not take them long to get to the front of the queue. They were stood in what Y/N could only assume to be a room specifically used for meetings. The table was fixed to look like a horse shoe, right about ten student representatives standing there, helping to register those that were there to start their first year.

“Next!” a woman called, and with one last look at Nathan, Y/N walked in her direction, giving her, what she hoped to be, a friendly smile as she approached.

“What’s your surname?” the student representative asked.

“Montes.”

She looked behind her, taking some time to find a M. She walked up and down the row of tables behind her, but once she finally came back to Y/N, she placed a manila folder on the table in front of her.

“Y/N Montes, right?”

“Yeah.”

“Studying English Literature?”

“Yup.”

“Brilliant,” the woman said, bending down to retrieve something more Y/N had to bring with her. “Just sign your name, date of birth, and the student halls you’re living in on the paper in front of you, please.”

“I don’t live in halls.”

“Ah, well, then you just write your address down. The uni just wants to know where you live, really. Especially if you’ve moved here to attend uni.”

Y/N nodded, taking the pen laid before her and writing under Jack Williams that had been before her.

“English Lit?”

After only having signed her name, Y/N looked up at the girl to her left who had just talked. She was looking straight at Y/N with a small smile on her face.

“I’m doing English Lit, too,” the girl said, her smile growing.

Y/N smiled back. “Really?”

“Yeah,” she blonde said, grinning now. “I’m Chloe.”

“Y/N.”

Chloe made a small bow. “Pleasure to make your acquaintance.”

“And yours.” Y/N cursed herself for not being funnier. This girl would not want to be her friend if she wasn’t funny.

“Not to be like this,” the bloke helping Chloe out said. “But could you do this outside? We need to register more people.”

“Of course,” Chloe said, sounding a little too charming for her own good. She glanced back at Y/N, hugging her manila folder to her chest. “See you around, Y/N.”

“And you.”

Y/N’s entire chest burst with a sort of contentment only strange encounters could bring forth. It was a sort of reminder that Y/N was appreciated and seen by someone she barely knew; someone she appreciated and saw in return. Knowing that, even though they might not stay friends for their entire time at uni, they would at least lean on each other as lectures began. She could find Chloe and sit down next to her, and it would not be weird.

“Wicked,” Nathan said as Y/N came walking in his direction with the Helmond folder in her hands. “Now, let’s go for dinner. I’m famished.”

And so they did. They stopped by a pub on the way home, staying there for two hours just talking, eating and drinking. It was nice to finally be with Nathan again. He had been in London for well over a month, and as much as Y/N wanted to come down there, she needed all those hours of work to earn money for uni. New Look did not pay well, but at least she had a bit of money to use right off the bat. She’d need a new job, though. And fast.

This time around they walked back to the flat, taking the hour it took to just take in the stroll that Y/N knew she would take more than she would take the tube. There was just a lot to look at, and no hills, meaning that the stroll would not kill her. Another bonus was the time she would get to spend just listening to music, something she adored. Once again, she completely forgot about her parents and them leaving, until they reached the flat an hour later. Remembering brought a white-hot ball of aching to Y/N’s stomach, making it hard for her to swallow properly. She assumed it would be like this for a few days, if not weeks. She’d have to find her place and her people before the feeling of longing for her parents and life back home in Nottingham, would dissipate.

It was very dark in the flat when they finally got home around 8. Nathan stumbled a bit when they walked through the door, making Y/N laugh her ass off. Nathan only flipped her off before urging her to walk on in. She did, taking her shoes off and leaving them by the door. The light in the kitchen was on, and because Y/N assumed they must have left it on before they left, she did not bother to take a proper sweeping look over the room before reaching for the light switch. She stopped.

Nathan was busy closing and locking the front door, humming to that Tinie Tempah song that was always played in any sort of club setting. He must have been clubbing the night before, she reckoned. The rest of the flat was quiet. It was left in darkness. It was therefore weird to Y/N that she saw a hallucination in the middle of the lit-up kitchen. Would it not have been wiser of her brain, a bit scarier also perhaps, to put that hallucination in the corner of her dark room? Why was she seeing it right there, in the kitchen, in vivid detail? She wouldn’t remember ever having hallucinated… him. Her sister sometimes showed up, but Y/N never saw her in detail, only as she remembered her from that last time she saw her. But this… this was different. Y/N fucking hated it.

“Y/N,” he said, voice darker than she remembered it.

Blinking a few times to get the sight of him out of her head, she turned the lights off and turned to Nathan who struggled taking his shoes off, now humming to another song.

“Nate, literally shut up. Chainsmokers is rank.”

“Oi! Closer is a fucking belter!”

“Y/N, could you turn the lights back on, please?”

There it was again. His voice. She closed her eyes and shook her head forcefully, as she did to get rid of Marcela’s image. With a hand on the strap of her tote bag, Y/N started on her journey towards the stairs.

“Oi, Y/N, why’re you leaving the man in the dark?” Nathan asked, frowning over at Y/N as she stopped moving. What… What did Nathan just say? Had he seen Y/N’s hallucination as well? Were they both hallucinating? What had been in the two pints they’d just had? Nathan wasn’t drunk, was he?

She could tell by the yellow light that flooded into the hallway from the kitchen that Nathan had turned the lights back on. Slowly, she looked over her shoulder at Nathan, meeting his gaze right away. Nathan glanced into the kitchen, giving the hallucination a smile before asking, a little too casually, “You’re home early.”

“Work was slow. Let me off early so I could get a few extra hours sleep in before uni starts.”

Y/N shook her head again, walking over and putting a hand on Nathan’s shoulder to check if he was real and not just another hallucination. Nathan looked to Y/N right away, a deep furrow to his brows as Y/N felt his neck and cheek.

“Have you cracked your skull? What’re you doing?” Nathan asked.

“You can see him?” Y/N blinked at Nathan, nodding in the direction of the kitchen.

“Of course, I can see Harry. I’m not blind and I did develop the ability to sense another human beings’ presence when they’re in the same room as me. He’s standing right there, isn’t he?”

“No, he… he’s not…”

Y/N looked at the hallucination again then. Harry Styles. She had not thought about him in months, had not seen him in years. They had not been in each other’s proximity since he lived in Nottingham with his father three years ago. Had not spoken properly since that day in late August 2014 when they spent the night together. And there he was, standing in the kitchen of her new uni flat. She could not believe it. There were so many questions running through Y/N’s head in that second that she did not know which one to ask Nathan, who, it seemed, had no problem with Harry Styles being in their kitchen.

“Yes, he is,” Harry answered slowly, looking at Y/N with his eyebrows raised. They rose even higher up his forehead once he caught Nathan’s eye. “You didn’t tell her.”

“What?” Y/N looked at Nathan. “Didn’t tell me what?”

Nathan raised his shoulders in a shrug that Y/N knew was only done to buy her best friend some time. He pursed his lips, refusing to meet either of their eyes. “Might’ve slipped my mind.”

Harry cocked his head, putting the glass of milk he was holding back onto the counter. “Slipped… your mind?”

“I forgot.”

“You forgot?!”

“Y/N’s blind, you’re deaf. What’s next?”

“Nate, please, for the love of fuck, tell me you told her.”

“Nate?” That made Y/N retreat, two lines etched between her brows as she looked to Harry again, then back at Nathan. “You only let your mates call you that.”

Harry let out a short, high-pitched laugh. “Brilliant. You didn’t even tell her about me in general. What’s that about? You ashamed of me?”

“Oh, don’t take the piss, you wank-stain.” Nathan rolled his eyes. “I knew it would not go down very well.”

Harry crossed his arms. “And this way it would?”

“I was gonna sit her down and tell her, but I never got around to it. Alcohol called, she wanted us to have two pints at a pub.”

“Don’t blame this on a pint, you could’ve told her ages ago.”

“Can someone please,” Y/N called, making Nathan stop whatever he was about to say. “Tell me what the bloody hell is going on?”

Nathan and Harry looked at one another, exchanging a sort of glance Y/N could almost decipher, but in her confused state was too dizzy to try and comprehend. They stood like that for a few seconds, making grimaces at one another, having a telepathic argument that Y/N wanted in on.

“Hello?!” she called, making both boys jump and look at her again.

“Nathan,” Harry said, picking his glass of milk up again and taking a sip.

“Right,” Nathan sighed, turning his body in Y/N’s direction. “Y/N, Harry’s gonna be living with you for the rest of the year.”

Harry huffed. “Want me to move out next year, do you? Don’t wanna live with me our third year?”

“Oh, you know I do, but one year at a time, yeah? Don’t need to traumatise her more than necessary.”

Y/N did not know what to do. Out of all possible scenarios, out of all horrible happenings at University, she had not seen this one coming. Never in her wildest dreams had she thought this would ever happen. She quite frankly thought she had left Harry Styles behind her in her past, never to be in contact with or meet him again. But he was one of her new flatmates. She would be living with him for at least a year, two if she did not decide to move out. They had been each other’s first time, and then never spoke to each other again, despite everything else. That was three years ago, and now what? Were they supposed to talk it through? Were they supposed to ignore it? Ignore each other?

Y/N’s head was spinning, and it seemed the rest of the flat was spinning with her. Taking one last look at Harry and Nathan, she started walking in the direction of the stairs. Whatever the two were arguing about, they stopped the second they saw her strolling away.

“Oi, what’re you doing?” asked Nathan.

“I’m fucking going to my room to get away from you,” Y/N asked, voice razor sharp. “Unless you forgot to tell me there’s a corpse hidden inside my wardrobe?”

“It’s just 8. The night’s still young.”

“I don’t care.”

“Mate-“

“-Is there a corpse in my room? Or lice in my mattress? Or any other rather big news you’d like to tell me?”

Nathan must have known this would happen, but he still looked nervous as he shook his head, indicating that there was nothing else he was supposed to have told her but hadn’t.

“Good,” Y/N said. “I’ll deal with whatever kind of situation this is, tomorrow.” She paused. “Or maybe the day after that.” Another pause. “Fuck this. Fuck you.” She pointed at Nathan.

“I’m just trying to make us all be friends here,” he said. “Besides, don’t fuck me, I’m gay. And…” Nathan nodded in the direction of the kitchen where Harry stood. “You’ve already fucked him-“

“-I’ll literally murder you, Nathan,” Y/N hissed, and she swore she could hear a grunt of disapproval from Harry’s end as well, not having appreciated Nathan’s comment.

Without another look at them, she walked up the stairs and to her room, locking herself in there. It was then that she realised she hadn’t gotten her bed ready for the night. However, in her infuriated state, Y/N did not care. She got her pillow out from one of her bags along with her duvet, opening the windows to let some fresh air in and pulled the curtains close. She wasn’t really about to go to bed, but she knew that she would cry in not too long because she missed home, and her anger at Nathan and Harry did not help. If she got angry enough, she’d cry. Hard.

She could not believe this. It did not feel real. Ever since that night in August, she had not talked to Harry, and she did not think she ever would again. However, here she was, living in the same flat as him. It wasn’t as if their time together had been more awkward than they had anticipated, but the reason why she could not stand him was because, even though had kept every single other promise he’d ever made, he had not even done as much as look at her after they had sex. He had not called like he promised he would. Had not kept in contact with her after moving away. Had not been what he had promised he would be: different. A mate.

They had promised each other at the time that this would not be awkward, they would just get it over with, be awkward with one another, and then forget it ever happened. They would go back to being mates. But then Harry had shut her out, and they had not talked since. At times, when Y/N thought about this not too long after it had happened, she was scared that the entire reason why Harry had even been friendly in the first place was so they’d fuck and forget about one another. Sometimes it was easier to tell herself that than to remember all the lovely times. Y/N chose to repress those. He was not worth it.

She heard Nathan’s voice and then Harry’s along with footsteps. They were walking up the stairs, talking in hushed voices as if scared to wake anyone up. Y/N supposed it was the last flatmate that she had yet to meet, and considering how Nathan had not told her she would be living with Harry for the next year, she was scared to think who the last flatmate would be.

There was a knock at her door.

Y/N rubbed a hand over her face. “Drink piss.”

“Y/N, I just wanna talk.”

“No, Nathan.”

He jiggled the door handle. “Please.”

“Nathan, I need to be alone or else I’m sure I’m gonna fucking choke you till your eyes pop,” Y/N said. “Harry Styles, Nathan!”

“Yes, Y/N, I know!” Nathan said, sounding genuinely conflicted as well. “I know I should have told you he goes to Helmond! And that we’re mates here! I know!”

“Why didn’t you?”

“’Cause I knew you wouldn’t live with me if I told you,” Nathan admitted. “I had been looking forward to you coming here for so long, and Harry, Mason, and I kind of agreed to move in together. I told Harry, but he never had a problem with it, but I knew you would, because… well… everything that happened in Notts.”

Y/N rolled her eyes.

“But believe me that I didn’t do this as a way for you and Harry to, like, start talking again-“

“-‘Cause if you did-“

“-Oh, I know I would’ve been dead by now if that was the case, I know.” Nathan sighed. “Y/N, he’s not as much of a knob-“

“-He is a knobhead. Now, then, forever. Now, leave me alone.”

Nathan knew there was no way for him to make this any better. Once Y/N had made her mind up, it was hard to change her perspective on things. Getting her used to Harry, to living with him, to accepting this fate of hers, would take a very long fucking time.

Nathan said a small, “Later” from down the hall, and Harry replied with a “Have a good one” that seemed a bit closer somehow. Before she knew it, the door just beside hers opened, a small creak to it as Harry stepped in. It closed just after Nathan’s did, and Y/N heard the sound of footsteps from the room just beside hers. Not only was Harry Styles, the person who took her virginity, and Y/N Montes, the person who took Harry Styles’ virginity, living in the same flat. No, their rooms were also right next to one another. Brilliant. Fucking brilliant. Not only had she cried an abnormal amount today, sprained her ankle some on her walk home, and been uncharacteristically awkward when meeting new people, but she had also moved into the same house as her ex-friend.

Y/N turned her face, burying it into her pillow, and screamed.

Monday, 18 September 2017

There were people everywhere. Y/N was used to there being heaps of people everywhere she looked and did not mind crowds. She liked the company of people around her, the sounds of civilisation. In fact, it relaxed her much more than a calm countryside ever could. When walking through Canada Water, she did not mind people bumping into her or them walking right past her. It just showed signs of people and she loved that. She hated being alone, hated the sound of her own breathing and nothing to accompany her.

That was one of the reasons why she had looked forward to moving to London in the first place. She wanted the comfort of never being alone, of always having someone around, which she knew she would appreciate about London. Of course, she knew there were places in London she could go to be on her own, but she liked the idea of never, truly, being alone. The prospect of being alone, terrified her. She was never lonely, she had a lot of friends, she was close with her parents, but being alone, with no one else around, was something else entirely.

She did not feel lonely, even though she did not know any of the people around her at this precise moment in the tube station, she was surrounded by people and there was a comfort in that. Years & Years blasted from her earbuds and it was hard not to sing along when Desire went as hard as it did. So, instead of singing with her whole chest in the middle of the tube station, Y/N settled for miming the words with her mouth. She loved Years & Years more than she could articulate, so it was hard for her not to go crazy while listening to them. She could not wait for their second album to drop sometime next year.

Y/N walked towards the Eastbound platform as she reached the Jubilee line level. Nathan would be waiting for her at Ikea in Greenwich, as he had gone for a few other errands in the area, which ones Y/N did not know, but she had no problem meeting him there. However, she would have much more preferred it if he could have gone there with her, as she much more preferred to hang out with her friends than getting to places by herself. She just needed to take the Jubilee line to North Greenwich, and then take the 161 bus to Millennium Leisure Park East, and there Nathan would be waiting for her. That was all she had to do on her own, then she would have company.

She had not yet forgiven him for not telling her about Harry, but she didn’t have anyone else to take to Ikea, so she’d just have to ignore it until she had the energy to talk it through. Until then, she’d be passive aggressive and make Nathan feel bad for keeping it from her. Not the best way to go about it, she knew, but it would do for now.

The train arrived and Y/N waited patiently before she boarded it, letting the passengers that were already aboard get off before she started making her way on. Too anxious to sit down, Y/N took to standing by the pole just by the door she just entered, holding onto it with two other business men, neither who paid anyone on that train any attention as all of it were on the phone in front of them. Y/N reached for her phone then, typing out a message to Nathan that she was on her way. Or… at least she hoped she was.

“This is a Jubilee line train to Stratford; the next station is Canary Warf.”

Y/N let out a small sigh of relief, mentally patting herself on the back for managing to make it this far on her journey to Ikea Greenwich without getting completely lost. She felt her phone vibrate in her hand, and she immediately raised it to look at her new notification.

Nathan

Glad you’re finding your way around London, can be quite challenging

Nathan

Especially when you have a pea brain

Nathan

Like you do

Y/N snorted, started typing a text out right away as she held onto the blue pole for dear life.

Y/N

Scientists have been working for years to find a brain inside your gigantic head, seems it’s too small to be found, even under a magnifying glass

Because of poor reception, the text did not send, and the thought of being so low underground that she had trouble reaching her loved ones, suddenly scared her a bit. Y/N closed her phone and looked up at the tube map as the speaker overhead announced their arrival at Canary Wharf, people milling on and off the train.

Y/N saw something just before the door closed. She stopped breathing. It was only for a split-second, but she could swear she had seen something. She recognised the denim jacket, the hair, the smile. No matter the scenario, where she was, what was happening, Y/N would remember and make out her sister. She would recognise her anywhere. This was no different.

However, it had only been for a single second, not even that. The doors had closed before Y/N got to take a proper look. Right away, she closed her eyes tightly, willing her violently beating heart and pulse to slow down. It had just been a hallucination; it had not been real. I had just been a hallucination; it had not been real, and she continued to tell herself that until the train started driving away from the platform. Once she finally opened her eyes and looked out of the train windows, the darkness of the underground tunnels had surrounded them. Marcela was nowhere in sight.

Y/N leaned her forehead against the blue pole, feeling a slight layer of sweat over her cupid’s bow and forehead. The Marcela hallucination had affected her more than she thought it would have. Taking a deep breath, Y/N kept her eyes shut and her mind closed until she reached North Greenwich. Then, forcing the image of her sister away, Y/N walked off the train the second it stopped and almost ran for the exit and fresh air. Marcela was not alive; she had been dead for three years. She had been murdered three years ago. Neither hallucinations nor will would bring her back, it was time Y/N made her brain believe that as well.

NEXT UPDATE: Sunday, 28th February, 9PM GMT!

Huge thanks to my AMAZING beta readers! 🏛️ @aileenacoustic 🏛️ @devil-in-bw-the-sheets 🏛️ @sunflowerstache 🏛️ @fromyourstrulyh 🏛️

FIC PAGE | COME TALK !!!

#harry styles #harry styles fanfiction #harry styles x you #harry styles x reader #harry styles smut #harry styles fluff #harry styles angst #harry styles fic #1dff #super super super unsure about the cover art i'm most likely gonna change it #BUTTTTT HERE IT IS WOHOOOO

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my-soul-sings · 3 years

Text

kiss the girl: ch 4

Fandom: Tears of Themis Characters: Artem x Reader

Summary: Armed with a trusty book, Artem Wing attempts to win the woman of his dreams.

ch 1 | ch 2 | ch 2 extra (ft. marius) | ch 3 | ch 4

***

Ask her out to dinner.

Artem Wing rarely gets stressed. Even when he has a trial the next day and it’s before the highest appellate court, he’s the definition of ‘calm’.

But right now, he’s freaking out.

It’s not that he doesn’t know how to ask a woman out to dinner. Of course he’s had dinner with her before—and they weren’t always team dinners.

The procedure is simple enough. Step one, ask her if she’s free that night. Or any night, for that matter. Step two, ask if she would like to have dinner with him. It’s an easy two-step process that anyone can accomplish.

Except, Artem didn’t factor in a possible third step: what to do when she is “suddenly unable to make it for dinner” with him not once, not twice, but three times in a row.

The first time it happened, she said she wasn’t feeling well, so he insisted that she leave the office early to get some rest, and cancelled their dinner plans for the evening.

The second time it happened, she said she had forgotten about a family dinner that clashed with their dinner plans. Artem had assured her that they could call a rain check, and that she should attend the family dinner to celebrate her grandmother’s birthday.

By the third time, Artem thought things would finally go his way. But alas, she was hauled away by none other than his NXX colleague, Vyn, who needed her assistance urgently with some pick-up artist case. He had offered to go with her, but she insisted that she could handle the case herself. And so, he had no choice but to leave her be, lest she thought that he didn’t have faith in her abilities.

All things considered, Artem is disheartened, to say the least. Having their dinner plans cancelled three times in a row can’t be a coincidence—maybe she just doesn’t want to have dinner with him, but is too scared of him to admit it outright. And it’s probably because he’s her boss, which is a position that he’s rapidly growing to hate. He wishes they could just be normal colleagues. Maybe then he won’t feel so awkward every time he wants to make a move but doesn’t want to come across as pressuring her inappropriately.

Then again, if they were normal colleagues, they probably wouldn’t work as closely as they do now… so Artem is torn on the issue. But that’s beside the point.

The point is, he doesn’t know what to do. Celestine would say that he should just try again, which he could do, but he should probably wait for a while before asking her again. As for how long he should wait, he’s not sure. But he was looking forward to dinner so much that the disappointment has been weighing him down for the past few days.

Deciding he needs some air to clear his head, Artem gets out of his office, intending to get some coffee from the pantry. As Celestine has reminded him many times, he has a working coffee machine in his office. His reply every time is that the capsules that he wants are in the pantry… and he just so happens to forget to take some to his office with every trip he makes.

Out of habit, Artem takes his phone to clear some notifications that have been accumulating since morning. And as he busies himself with replying to client messages and reading some new messages in the NXX chat, he overhears Kiki asking her if she wants to have dinner together. It’s a Friday night, and it’s already five minutes past the time everyone can knock off.

Her response, however, is noticeably sullen compared to her usual cheeriness. “I think I’ll be staying late tonight… I have two sets of written submissions to finish by Monday and I’ve barely started.”

It doesn’t take long for Artem to recall that those were the subs he had assigned to her at the start of the week. They’re due Monday… The other partners might have given her some work to do during the week, which is why she’s running tight on schedule.

He would ask if she wants him to assign one set to someone else to lighten her load, but Artem already knows from experience that she won’t have that. In fact, she’ll interpret it as him thinking she’s not competent enough to finish the work she’d been given and probably get upset—both with him and with herself.

“Then, aren’t you going to eat?” Kiki presses.

“I’ll eat later; I’m not hungry right now. Don’t worry about me, you should go ahead first. See you Monday!”

As Artem slowly returns to his office with a cup of coffee in hand and pretending to be engrossed in fiddling with his phone, he wonders if maybe there is a way to have dinner with her after all.

***

You’re stressed. The looming deadline of the coming Monday and the five cups of coffee you’ve had since morning are contributing to your high-strung nerves, and your hyper-active fingers as you furiously type away at the keyboard. Hopefully you can finish one sub tonight, and then you can do the other one over the weekend at home.

You’re so caught up in research and figuring out how to condense the facts of the extremely complicated facts of this darn case into a neat, concise summary, that you don’t realise that someone has been standing behind you for a while until he clears his throat and calls your name.

With a start, you jerk your head over your shoulder, not expecting anyone else to be in the office at this time—oh, it’s almost 8pm already—on a Friday night.

But here Artem is, holding up a few plastic bags and wearing a smile that isn’t helpful for your already wired heart. Didn’t he already leave the office for the day? And—how long has he been staring at your screen? Has he been watching you struggle over writing a summary of the facts?

He must think you’re an idiot now.

If he does though, he doesn’t show any sign of it. “You haven’t had dinner, right?” is all he asks.

“Dinner?” You take a few seconds to recall whether you’ve eaten or not, and then shake your head with a sheepish smile. “Right. I forgot.”

“I bought some sushi. You’ll focus better if you’re not hungry.”

You glance back at your screen, and even though you’d rather continue working, you reluctantly agree. Maybe you’ll be able to write this better after a short break.

“You’re right. Thanks.” You stand up, removing your glasses and rubbing your tired eyes. “Have you eaten yet?”

“Not yet. I was thinking of eating with you… if you don’t mind.”

You can’t help but smile. You’ve had to cancel dinner plans with Artem three times now, and you had thought he would be offended or take it as a rejection in some way. You had actually been planning on asking him out to dinner next week, after clearing all your urgent tasks, to make up for everything. But here he is, offering dinner for the fourth time, accommodating your schedule and even buying sushi from your favorite sushi place. How did he even know?

“Of course I don’t mind! I just thought you’d want to eat with someone else on a Friday night, instead of eating take-out in the office.”

“I’d say eating dinner with you isn’t a bad way to spend a Friday night.”

Lawyers and their double-negatives. Now you can’t tell if this counts as Artem flirting with you. Not sure how else to respond, you settle for a generic “thank you” before taking one of the bags from him so that he isn’t carrying everything alone. “Let’s set it up in the pantry.”

He nods, allowing you to take the lead and following behind you towards the pantry. You hear the rustle of the plastic bags, his footsteps, and a small but thrilled "yes” that he whispers under his breath. It’s so low and soft that you almost mistake it for the sound of the plastic bags swinging by your side.

You should probably pretend you didn’t hear that, but still, you can’t suppress the laugh that escapes you. The effort that he’s been putting in for the past few weeks hasn’t escaped your notice at all. And considering how much Artem has been looking out for you lately, maybe it’s time to start thinking about what you can do for Artem too.

***

A/N: Thanks for all the support guys, i've been blown away by the encouraging comments and i'm so glad to know that you enjoy this story :)

#tears of themis #artem wing #artem fanfiction #tears of themis fanfiction #artem wing fanfiction #my writing #kiss the girl

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procrastinatingsapphictrash · 3 years

Text

Migraines

Word count: 1679

Genre: Hurt/comfort

Pairings: Natasha x fem!reader, platonic avengers x fem!reader

Warnings: Some swearing (let me know if I need to add more)

Request: hi~ was wondering if you’d do a natasha x reader with a dash of platonic avengers when reader has chronic migraines but hasn’t told nat so ends up in random places to try and sleep them away and the others keep finding her and then nat figures out she’s hiding something and feels hurt but ends fluffy wanting to take care of reader next time? you can choose who and change any part you want!

Summary: Reader gets really bad migraines and is constantly being found by the team when she wants to be alone, however her girlfriend Natasha doesn’t know what’s going on.

A/n: This request was for @casperlikej so I hope you like it! Also I would like to mention that I know next to nothing about migraines so this probably won’t be super accurate but hopefully it’s ok to read anyways. I’m queuing this to come out on Sunday so that over the weekend I can work on the friends to enemies to lovers three part series and get that out soon (no I have not forgotten about that request). I am only like a sixth into that series but so far I’m super proud of it so I can’t wait to get it done! Also if anyone has ideas, feel free to request anything because I like having multiple fic ideas to think of at all times. Anyways I’m rambling now but I hope you enjoy this fic!

You hated being away from Natasha because although you had only been together for a few months and only known her for half a year you were sure you loved her but sometimes you just couldn’t stand pretending to be okay in front of her so you would hide yourself away. Currently your favourite place to hide was a nice rocking chair near the medbay area that was tucked away in the corner of a room. Barely anyone ever went by and the few that did never seemed to notice, giving you the anonymously you needed in order to curl up with your head in your knees and try to calm your head down.

“Y/n? What are you doing here?” You hear Tony’s voice ask and you startle.

“Oh, um, I’m just spending time with myself.” You respond lamely as Tony raises an eyebrow.

“You never spend time by yourself,” he points out, “whenever you want to get away from us you always spend time with Natasha.”

“I am alone sometimes.” You say starting to get annoyed.

He scoffs. “No you aren’t, is everything ok between you two?”

“Everything is fine, just leave!” You snap at him. He hesitates in leaving the room but ultimately goes without saying another word after seeing how intensely you started glaring at him. It takes longer than usual for your migraine to go away because usually staying level headed helped but at least you yelling got Tony out of the room and to stop asking questions.

---

It was only a few days later that you got another migraine. You excuse yourself from the room you were sitting in with Bruce, Tony and Nat, mumbling some bullshit about needing to go to the store and ignoring Tony’s worried look on your way out. You knew that Tony would come looking for you in your old place so you decide to hole up in the room near the pad Thor uses whenever he visits earth. Today wasn’t a very bad migraine because you were able to catch the signs early but it still takes slightly over an hour for your head to stop pounding. You’re about to leave the room and go back to find the others but just to your luck Thor happens to arrive today unscheduled, something that only happens every few weeks.

“Lady Y/l/n!” his voice booms happily as he steps inside, “it’s so good to see you, but what are you doing here, I wasn’t aware I had informed anyone of my arrival.”

You laugh slightly at his formal way of speaking and confused expression. “You didn’t, I just happened to be here because I was trying to be alone for awhile.”

“Are you feeling unwell?” He asks, looking concerned.

“Not at all,” you reassure him, “in fact I was just about to go back to the others when you arrived, shall we find them together?” He nods eagerly, holding out his arm for you to hook onto like a true gentleman.

---

The next time you try to hide away you’re talking to Steve and he isn’t getting your subtle cues that you want to leave so he just keeps talking. You think he is talking about some sort of mission but honestly you don’t know because it physically hurts your brain to pay attention. You want to yell at him so badly but you can’t bring yourself to because he isn't trying to hurt you at all and he’s too nice to be angry at.

“You agree Y/n?” You manage to make out.

“Yes.” You say, not knowing what you’re even agreeing to.

“Great, I’ll go talk to the others, see you tomorrow for the morning training!” He says before walking off. You groan out loud as soon as you can no longer see him, partly because of how much your head hurts and partly because you accidentally told Steve that morning training was a good idea. This time you just plop yourself on the nearest couch and hope nobody finds you.

---

You stumble into Bruce’s lab calling out for him. It had been over a week since your last migraine and encounter with Steve, one of the longest breaks you’ve had within recent memory but that came back to bite you in the ass when today’s was worse than ever before, even blurring your vision a little because of the pain.

Bruce stands up from behind a pile of boxes. “Y/n, what brings you here.”

“Pain meds now.” You order in a weak voice. He looks curious but doesn’t question you, heading towards a back cabinet and pulling out a bottle of pills. You immediately take two and swallow, ignoring him scolding you that you should only take one. Luckily since Bruce invented them himself it only took about five minutes for them to kick in.

“Sorry, I had a really bad headache.” You tell him which is a half truth.

He looks at you in concern. “Are you sure that was only a headache? It looked bad.”

You wave him off, heading towards the door because you didn’t want him to ask anymore questions. “I’m fine Brucie, thanks again!” He sighs and shakes his head as he watches you leave, worried but deciding it’s not his place to badger you about it.

---

Since every time you got a migraine you always ended up around one of the others you made a plan so that you could avoid everyone because you knew that one day your luck was going to end and Natasha would be the one to find you. You knew that she wouldn’t be mad at you or anything since you can’t control them but the relationship is still new and you don’t want to badger her with any of your problems.

That’s why as soon as you start to feel a migraine coming on you hoist yourself up into the vents above your (sort of) shared room with Natasha where you had left a blanket and some pillows to relax with… only to find Clint waiting for you there.

“I was wondering who had left these up there.” He says, seeming like it was a perfectly natural thing for him to be in the vents above your room. You decide not to question it, only sighing because you know that conversation would take up too many thoughts that you don’t have space for right now. You’re just so fucking done with your migraines and want them to go away.

Clint notices your sadden expression and is serious for once. “Y/n, what’s going on?”

“I get these stupid fucking migraines and it only seems to be getting worse and I don’t want anyone to think I’m weak and I want Natasha but I don’t want to bother her with my problems.” You unload, holding back tears.

“I’m not going to lie to you, I don’t know how to make you feel better,” he confesses, “however why don’t you try to take a nap in your own bed and if you really don’t want Tasha to find you I can keep her distracted.” You nod and he helps you back out of the vents, climbing down after you.

“Clint?” you say as he’s leaving the room and he turns around, “thanks.”

---

Clint makes his way to the common room where he sees Steve talking to Natasha.

“Hey guys, what’s up?” He asks with a smile, faltering when he sees Natasha looks upset. “Nat, what’s wrong?”

“I think Y/n is going to break up with me.” She says, her voice thick with emotion.

Steve frowns. “I told you not to jump to conclusions, maybe you should just talk to her.” Natasha just shakes her head, looking down and taking a deep breath, trying to regulate her emotions.

“Y/n’s going to hate me for this,” Clint says as two pairs of eyes turn to him, “but you should go to your room, I promise that she’s not planning on breaking up with you.”

Natasha noticeably brightens. “Are you sure?”

Clint nods. “I’m sure, she said not even five minutes ago that she wanted you. She’s going through some shit right now that you should talk to her about but she wouldn’t break up with you.”

“Thanks.” Natasha replies, before hurrying to your shared room, worried about you after what Clint said.

---

You curl up on the bed and let a few tears fall out and before long you are full on sobbing. You always try to stay strong and not cry but you just can’t deal with the migraines anymore. The bed shifts behind you and you sit up straight looking behind you. Natasha is climbing on to it and looking at you with a worried expression on her face.

“I thought Clint was going to keep you busy.” You say, sniffling to try to stop your tears.

“He must have lied because he told me to come here.” She responds.

“He’s an asshole.”

She gives a small laugh. “Normally yes, but he did the right thing, I want to help you with whatever is upsetting you.”

“You shouldn’t have to deal with me like this,” you tell her, “my migraines are my problem that I have to deal with.”

She moves across the bed and puts her arms around you. “No sweetheart, I’m here with you.” You start to cry again, this time while it’s slightly from the pain it’s mostly because you feel so overwhelmed with how much she supports you. She pulls you in tightly to her chest, and plants a kiss on the top of your head.

“I will always be here for you if you need something ok?” she says. “But now you need to rest.”

“But-” you start to protest before she cuts you off.

“No buts, you need sleep.” She says while shushing you. You wiggle back, trying to be as far into arms as possible before you slowly drift off, the pain of the migraine going away and all you can feel is warmth.

---

Taglist: @fayhar @stephanieromanoff @stop-drop-and-drumroll @acertainredhead (if you want to be added, comment, send an ask, or message me)

#natasha romanoff #natasha romanoff x reader #black widow #black widow x reader #avengers #avengers x reader #platonic avengers x reader #marvel reader insert #marvel fanfiction #x reader

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let-me-luve-you · 3 years

Text

Dr. Holland

Tom Holland x Sister

Summary: Tom’s big sister is the hardest working person he knows. He is extremely proud of her and he can’t stop himself from talking about her during an interview.

Warnings: Overworked, maybe some angst, loving siblings, mentions of doctor work

MASTERLIST

Tom sighed as he got a text from you saying that you were scheduled to work the one week he was home. Another message followed saying you only had to work three days instead of the normal five. You were an emergency room doctor and you worked a lot. Tom was proud of his older sister. She worked her but off through medical school to get where she was. Now she was working her butt off to get the position you really wanted, Pediatric Oncologist.

Tom had been filming Spider-Man in America when you were going through medical school. You would call him to keep you company while you were studying. And when time was on his side, he would quiz you. Tom never thought he was smart enough to become a doctor, but he knew enough to get by now.

It was early Wednesday morning when you pulled up at Tom’s house. You had gotten off work at 6am and stopped by your house to shower and change clothes. Tom had texted you last night that he had a few Zoom interviews this afternoon that would take a few hours of his time. Tom told you that you were free to sleep in his room after breakfast. But with only a few days with your brother, you decided you could sleep at night when they sleep.

You took the key Tom gave you for when you house sit and let yourself in. The house was quiet so you knew everyone was still asleep. You moved towards the kitchen. You sat your purse down and went straight to the coffee machine. Normally you would drink tea, but after a long night and soon to be long day, you needed all the help you could get to stay awake. While waiting on the coffee to be made, you took out all the pans and ingredients you would need to make breakfast. You decided to make breakfast burritos since those were your favorite and you didn’t get them often.

Halfway through cooking the sausage, bacon, and eggs, Tom walked in rubbing the sleep from his eyes, his hair flying every which way. He walked over to you and gave you a big hug. You smiled into his chest.

“Still short, I see.” Tom said with sleep lacing his voice.

“Still rude, I see.” You said back.

Tom squeezed you tighter, ��I missed you.”

“Missed you to bubs.” You pulled back and watched him walk towards the coffee pot. You gave a small laugh and turned back to what was at hand.

“How’s the hospital been?” He asked as he sat on the counter next to the stove so he could see your face while he talked to you.

“It’s been good. Being in the ER means inconsistent hours and long shifts. Dr. Hamilton is planning on retiring in the next few months and he's told them my name as a replacement. Hopefully that works out so I can finally be a Pediatric Oncologist.” You said.

“I know you’ll get it and you'll be the best at your job.” Tom said matter of fact.

“Thanks. I hope I get it. If not, I may have to switch hospitals. I don’t think I can stay in the ER. I had night shifts this week. Day shifts last week. I went from day to night on Sunday. I had six hours off to rest since they made me work this weekend. They messed up the schedule but if I asked for Sunday night off, they were going to make me work the rest of the week.” You said taking all the food you just made to the island. Tom followed you and sat at the counter. You started fixing his burrito.

“I can make my own you know?” He said with a laugh. “But honestly. Stick it out. No one is more deserving of that position than you. You care for the kids and you know exactly what you are doing. Everything will work out. I’m so proud of you. Don’t know if I tell you that enough, but I am.”

“Thanks Tom.” You smiled at him. After making your burritos, you continued to talk about everything in your lives. He caught you up on the movies he was doing. He explained what the interviews were for. You just stared at him in awe as you saw the passionate look in his eyes when talking about acting.

A few hours after breakfast, you went to sit with Tom in his office. You laid out on the couch joking with him before his interview. Tom’s phone rang and he saw that it was his manager so he answered. Ten minutes later when he hung up he looked at you asleep on the couch. He stood up and grabbed the blanket and laid it across you. He knew that you would be out the whole time he did interviews as long as he didn’t make any sudden sounds. Tom was grateful the call through his computer rang through his AirPods. That sound would have woken you up and he knows you need sleep. Tom clicked the green answer button and was met with a smiling reporter.

“Hello Tom. How are you today?” The reporter asked.

“I’m doing great. How about yourself?” Tom asked back. Talking quieter than he normally would for something like this. His eyes drifted up to you to see if you moved and he didn’t even see you flinch.

“I’m doing great. Thank you for asking. So my name is Gerald. I’m with Buzzfeed. And I wanted to start this interview off asking what you’ve been up to these last few months.”

“Well, I’ve been in Germany working on a movie. Can’t go into detail just yet about it, but news will be dropping soon.” Tom checked one more time on you before he moved his full attention onto Gerald. “Sorry if I’m talking quieter than usual. My sister is asleep on my office couch. She’s been working like crazy lately so I didn’t have the heart to wake her.”

“Your volume is perfectly fine. If you don’t mind me asking, what does your sister do? We know about your other brothers since they are more involved in your line of work. They even travel with you. But we don’t really know a lot about your sister.” Gerald asked.

“My sister is amazing. Her name is Y/N. She’s a few years older than me. She is currently a doctor at one of the hospitals here in London. She’s been an emergency doctor but she is working towards becoming a Pediatric Oncologist.”

“That sounds fancy. What is that?” He asked.

“It’s a doctor that treats children with cancer. Y/N has worked so hard to get to that point. She’s so caring and loving and knows so much that I think she would be the perfect fit in any hospital in that position.”

“You sound proud of her.” Gerald said, pointing out the fact.

“I’m incredibly proud of her. She is just so amazing at everything but I was in the front row watching her work to this point. I wasn’t ever great at school and she was always working for those perfect grades. She would let me study with her so she could help when I needed it. I was her first call when she was accepted into med school. I remember crying when she told me that because I knew the work she had put in during undergrad to get there.” Tom said as he looked up at you. You were still sleeping soundly and Tom smiled at that.

“When I was filming Spider-Man: Homecoming, she would call me. It would be six or seven o’clock at night where I was and so I knew it was around midnight her time. She just wanted my company while she studied. She was so used to us working together she needed me there to help concentrate. She would email me her note cards and I would spend hours quizzing her. We were close before that, but we were almost inseparable after that. She’s my big sister and I love her and I’m so, so proud of her.”

“It sounds like it. It’s refreshing hearing you say such great things about your sister. I bet the whole family is proud of the both of you.” Gerald added.

“I know we are all proud of Y/N. For me, I know my family is proud, but what I do doesn’t even come close to what she does. After not seeing her for months due to COVID, any good I do, will never compare to the good she does.” Tom said thinking of those awful months you refused to see your family so you didn’t put them at risk.

“Well, tell her we appreciate the work she does. We would love to meet her sometime. You should bring her around a set or press tour sometime.”

Tom laughed. “I’ll have to try. She always turns me down though. Maybe if I film in London. But she does always make it to my premieres. Thankfully we almost always have one here in London, so it’s easier for her, but she’s made the trip to LA a couple of times.”

“Can’t wait to meet her one day.” Tom smiled at Gerald. “So you said you’ve been in Germany…”

Gerald continued with his interview. Once he was finished with that one he went right into the next. He spent three hours doing interviews and you never woke up once. He was grateful you were getting rest. When the final interview ended, Tom went over to you and gently picked you up. You stirred in his arms.

“Tom?” You said tiredly and confused. “Where are you taking me?”

“My room. You need more sleep and I need a nap. We can go out for dinner afterwards.” He said as he sat you on his bed. He walked to the other side.

“Okay.” You said rolling over towards him. “I love you bubs.” You whispered. Tom wrapped you in his arms and kissed you on the head.

“Love you too y/n/n.” He whispered back before you both fell asleep.

#tom holland #tom holland sister #tom holland x sister!reader #tom holland x sister #tom holland x holland!reader #tom holland x y/n #brother!tom holland x sister!reader #holland!reader #Holland!sister #tom holland imagines #tom holland fanfic #tom holland fanfiction #tom holland oneshot #tom holland rpf #tom holland real person fic #brother!tom holland

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yerrrabitch · 3 years

Text

WKND

Your eyelashes softly brushed your cheeks as you woke up. Your dark eyes scanned across his room. His scent suffocated you and kissed every inch of your body. His body lay tangled with yours. Your head was tucked between his arm and chest as he took deep, calm breaths. You relished in the feeling of him. These were some of your favorite moments.

When life could slow down for just a second and you could truly appreciate the man under you.

Friday Night 7:34PM

You kicked off your heels beside your door and wiped your sweat on the back of your hand. Another hellish day at work. You hated working and wished that you could take his money. But, you didn’t feel comfortable taking away from him to please you. He hated seeing you like this. He loved pampering you in anyway he could. You chuckled at the thought of the argument your current state would cause. You worked as an assistant to a lawyer who made you work unbearable hours and didn’t give a damn about any of your personal needs. He was an asshole but, the position paid well and you rubbed elbows with major figures in the field you wanted to go into after college.

You washed your hands and took your hair out of it’s bun. You couldn't wait to take this lace off for the weekend and let your hair out. Conforming to corporate America was another one of your least favorite things you did to get where you wanted to be. He didn’t agree with that. Well, he didn’t understand. He had worked through college growing his locs as a computer science major and now owns several businesses while only being two years out. He had established a name for himself; you had not. He offered many times to get an internship or position with one of his personal lawyers but, you wanted to get your connections and establish yourself by yourself. He had a love/hate relationship with your independence. It initially drew him to you when you first met.

You needed to make a quick snack before showering and heading over to his place for the rest of the weekend. You broke away from the apples and peanut butter to turn on Ari Lennox and unwind in the shower after realizing it was far later than you realized and he was probably worried sick about you. You showered, put in a hair mask and began to shave while dancing to her rhythmic voice when a hand grabbed your waist. You shot right into farthest part of the shower and let out an animalistic scream.

You closed your eyes as tight as possible and waited on the assault.

Giggles.

From him.

You wiped a curl out of your face and stared up at him. He was hunched over laughing at you like he was supposed to show up unannounced and scare you half to death.

“Baby,” he started before falling into another fit of giggles, “I came to check on you and here you are, dancing like that when you could be dancing with me upstairs.”

“I need to explain alone time?” You sneered, you were agitated. Why would he do that? He could’ve waited for you to step out of the bathroom at least. You could have fallen and gotten seriously hurt and he was laughing like that was just so funny. The things you would do to keep that smile on his face though.

“You know I didn't mean to intrude on your alone time. I was just seeing where you were. It’s 8:30?” He said still looking at you. The way your curls and coils were pulled into lopsided twists around your face, your nose scrunched up in irritation and dragged your plump upper lip and high cheekbones along with it made his heart whine at the two foot distance between you two. “I’ll wait on the couch for you, then we can go up together?”

You nodded and moved back into the water to finish what you were doing while a soft smile graced your face as you thought of him.

You crossed the hall and applied all the necessary body butters and creams then waddled out to see him. You rolled over the back of the couch and on to his side.

“Hey.”

He smiles up at you and places a soft kiss on your cheek. He begins peppering them all across your face and across your neck. You begin laughing when he bites on to a ticklish part of your clavicle. You place your hands at the nape of his neck and pull his head back.

“Did you cook?” You asked looking at his beard. You loved the way it felt when it grazed your thighs but, you hated the scruff he had began to grow during quarantine. He loved it though. Anything to differentiate him from his youth.

“Don’t you wanna order in? There’s this new Thai place on the North side. I had some for lunch last week and almost nutted,” he said staring into your eyes while tracing the curve of your jaw, “we can eat that.”

You nodded and began to get off of him and grab your slippers to go to his place. He lived five floors above you. His penthouse was amazing. It had a great view, a private elevator and this kitchen that you loved to cook in. Sometimes after an exam you both would stay up trying new recipes to get your minds off the stress. You loved cooking with him and were a little disappointed at the loss of bonding time. You knew he'd make up for it though.

“We should order it soon, you know everything out here closes early as hell.” You replied as you locked your apartment up and grabbed his hand to walk to his elevator. While waiting for it to rise from the lobby you stared at both of your figures in the reflection. His massive body next to yours, you looked like a child. A curvy child, but still a child. The hand wrapped around the phone as he orders food looks bigger than your waist. His large torso compared to your average sized one. He towered at 6′6 and you lived at 5′8. You were taller than most but, he humbled you whenever you tried to act bigger than him. Your wide hips were the only thing on you bigger than him. He would argue that your head is bigger than anything in the room.

You were busy comparing your body to his when he guided you into the shaft with a hand on your lower back. You thanked him and stepped inside. You felt his hand moving to cup just beneath your bottom. He gave two taps to your butt and opened his other arm, signaling you to jump on his waist. You rolled your eye but, still complied and let him carry you the rest of the way. The elevator dinged and he began to move. His breathe was warm against your cool scalp. And his body warm against yours. You loved him carrying you almost as much as he did. He loved taking care of you and anyway that you would allow him to gave him joy.

You had decorated the entrance of his penthouse. Initially it had been bare but, you added a mirror, a welcome mat and a tall plant that required almost no care so he couldn’t kill it by forgetting it. But, he would never let anything you gave him die. He walked up the stairs and into his bedroom. He turned around and sat down on the bed with you still attached to him and then laid back. You rolled over and began to remove the pillows from the bed. When you first met him he only used one pillow and now he can’t sleep with out at least three on the bed or you. You patted the spot next to you and almost squealed when he settled in next to you. You loved cuddling. He loved it too, only with you though. In previous relationships, it’d irritate him and make him overheat but, with your cooler body temperature and lovable personality he couldn’t resist. You rubbed up and down his side while he rubbed circles on your butt. You pushed your lips up at your nose. His eyes flashed to them and he immediately captured them with his own. He had a special way of kissing you. It never took your breath away. It was like it was your breath. You could kiss him for hours and only need to stop to fulfill bodily functions. Your lips fit perfectly together. You felt his bottom row gently dig into your top lip as his hand drifted from your ass to your right breast. His hot tongue slips into your mouth and you attach on to it and begin sucking it. His mouth retracts slightly as he smiles at you. Clearly, he doesn’t like you having too much control as he takes your nipple in his hand and twists it. You gasp and he takes that as his chance to do what he wants with you. He keeps kissing you and pulls away to begin kissing down your neck. You feel your lower belly getting warm and you try to pull his hand from your breast and place it in between your thighs. You hadn't had your fill all week and you wanted him right now. He snatches his hand away from you and doesn’t even look up at you.

“I’m taking my time tonight, so you just gone have to wait my love.” He said in between open mouthed kisses on your chest. You loved when he showered you with affection like this but, there was a time and place for everything and this was neither. You wanted to fill him shoot into the depths of you then carry you into the bathtub so you both could scrub the sins away then slide back into bed and go to sleep. You were tired and you’d rather use your vibrator and come back after you came at least once.

“Baby, I’ve been waiting all week.” You whispered looking down at him.

“Who’s fault is that?” He asked, finally reaching your nipples. “Not mine, if I could’ve had you every night I would have. I would’ve had you in the morning too. Before work. At lunch. Before dinner. For dessert. But, you had to work right mamas?” He plopped your nipple in his mouth. Swirling his tongue around your ring and lightly nibbling on the sensitive flesh in-between the metal. You were enjoying his assault on his body and accidentally ignored his question.

He bit down. Hard.

“I asked you a question didn’t I?” He said staring up at you. You nodded eagerly.

“Words.” He said with a lot more bass in his voice.

“Yes.” He smiled up at you. You were wet and you knew that he wasn’t going to let you come once tonight after that. He’d just edge you for the rest of the night and hopefully let you cum tomorrow. He moved to the next nipple and used his fingers to give the other nipple to attention she deserved.

He loved playing with the fattier parts of your body. One day in the earlier days of your relationship you had told him about your insecurities and he made it his duty to show extra affection to them whenever possible. He moved down to your belly and began kissing all around it and sucking your flesh in between. He pulls back up to you and places a gentle kiss on your lips and smiles.

“I love you.”

He pulls your shirt back down and pulls your body tightly against him. You feel him throbbing against your thigh as you sit on his lap. He grabbed your left foot and began to massage the heels of your feet, slowly working up to your toes and moving back down methodically. You wanted to enjoy pleasing him and vice versa but, you knew tonight was really going to be affection rather than sex. You craved an orgasm but you also needed intimacy. You loved how he knew where to find a balance in your needs and desire them.

Saturday Morning 9:50AM

The Thai place was amazing. You could see yourself sneaking there during lunch breaks for the dishes. You both had finished off two bottles of wine and sat snuggled up on the couch watching Living Single re runs. He laid on your chest between your thighs as you both fought sleep. He smelled of deep amber and vanilla. A cologne that you mentioned loving years ago and he made a point to wear around you.

You looked at the man next to you. You gently disconnected yourself from him and crawl beneath the sheets. You pull his member from his boxers and spit on it. You feel his body shift, he’s waking up. You lick up the under side of the shaft and attach your lips to the top. You extend your tongue outside of your lips and begin pulling in and out of your mouth. A deep chuckle breaks your concentration.

“You love this dick don’t you?” He mused. You nodded “Couldn’t wait for me to wake up?”

You continued your assault by forcing the entirety of his length into your throat. You always struggled through this part but you never stopped trying. You gagged on it and kept pushing. You were confident that you wouldn’t vomit but you needed to taste his nut. You repeated the process, sucking the tip then taking it all down your throat. You loved the feeling of his breath becoming quicker and his hand pulling your bonnet off and grasping your twists in both of his hands. His hips kept bucking up at you until you felt warm ropes begin to paint your throat. You loved this taste. The feeling of his balls constricting on your cheeks. The way his happy trail tickled your nose. The way his thighs felt so strong against your finger tips. His firm grip on your hair. It all made you want him more. You kept sucking after he had finished until his body began to twitch again. It was only right to overstimulate him how he had done you so many times before.

You lifted off of him and hurried to the bathroom to brush your teeth. You knew once he gained his strength back he would return the favor a few times over. He padded in behind you and began running the water in the bathtub. You smiled softly and went to the kitchen. You cut up apples, oranges and put grapes into a bowl and met him in the bathroom. He had grabbed towels and began to strip. Staring at your gown, he points and the tub. You comply and bring the bowl with you.

“Eat mama.” He commands and begins kissing up and down your neck. His hands go beneath the water and find your folds. He grazes across your clit and down to your opening. His right hand rises to your breast and he palms it lightly. He grasps your clit between two fingers and rolls it between them. Your breath hitches.

“Please, Erik.” You breathe. You feel him smile behind you.

“Please, what baby?”

“Please fuck me.”

His laugh shakes your chest as he puts a singular finger inside of you. He knew that he needed to work you up to his size. After a week away from him, you always shrunk to a coin slot. He curved his hand around to place one hand on your clit while still fingering you. You move the bowl to the ridge of the tub as you feel yourself getting closer to a climax. He adds another finger in. Initially it is uncomfortable but as he keeps rubbing your clit your loosen up around him. You pant as you feel your end close to you. He abruptly pulls his fingers out of you and turns the shower on behind both of you. He pulls you up carefully after moving the bowl to the floor near the tub. He lifts you up by your waist and slowly guides your onto his dick. He stretches you immediately and you feel like you might split open. It hurt but still felt so good.

After waiting for you to nod at him, he began pumping in and out of you. Slowly at first then he picked up speed. He backed you into the wall and moved one of his arms from around you on to your clit and began rubbing. The hot coil in your belly began to tighten and you knew your orgasm was coming quickly. He looked so focused on getting your nut, he was barely worried about his. You begin coating him in a thick, white cream as your body is almost to your peak. Your moans begin to fill the bathroom as he hit your g spot. You finished and you felt yourself squirting on him. He loved that. He loved drinking it more than watching it though.

He immediately followed behind you and filled you up with his cum. The warm water hit both of your side as your legs dropped and he laid his forehead against yours. He lightly kissed you then pulled out of you. You felt cold now without him inside of you. He reached for your body wash and you reached for his. Every time you had shower sex, you both would wash each others body’s.

Regardless of all the shit you go through during the week. This makes it worth it. Orgasms before noon and endless support and love from a man you love.

#erik kilmonger x reader #erik killmonger #erik stevens college au #erik x reader #Erik Stevens #erik stevens x reader #black woman imagine #black panther

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mcwriting · 3 years

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The Marriage Project (11)

I'm baaaaack :) Sorry it's been so long y'all but I'm finally on break so hopefully I can push out more content soon! Pls enjoy!

Masterlist

Word Count: 2130

Warnings: little bit of language, mild mentions of alcohol

% approximately the last weekend of October/first week of November %

Sunday, you went wedding dress shopping.

Kinda.

It was for homecoming court. Your school had a tradition where the ladies in the running for queen wore white wedding dresses, so your mom and you went out in search of one.

You’d already gotten your dress for the actual dance weeks prior, so you started at the same store.

It didn’t take long for you to stumble upon one you liked, a slim a-line that accentuated your muscles and curves. There was a draped neckline and a somewhat low back. The entire dress had a grecian feel with the small silver accents dusted across it.

The second you put it on you fell in love, so you made the purchase and set off for shoes, easily finding a pair of heels that would put you at a similar level with Tom.

The next day, you made your way to class for another round of praise and congratulations for the tournament that weekend. The trophy was already sitting in the school display case, the plaque yet to be made with your school’s name and the year.

It was spirit week, so everyone was dressed in clothes that fit the day’s theme.

All morning, people were coming up and asking you about the tournament and homecoming, many of them pledging to vote for you.

Things felt nice.

You and Tom didn’t talk much throughout the morning, but exchanged a few jabs and laughs here and there.

Later, you sat around the lunch table with your girlfriends as usual, this time discussing the homecoming nominations.

“Y/n, there’s literally no way you won’t be queen. I’ve talked to a ton of people and all of them are saying they’re gonna vote for you,” one of them said.

“Aw shucks, you’re making me blush. Obviously I’d like to win queen, but we’ll see. It’s whatever. If Harrison wins king I’ll drop out.”

“As if. No one even likes him. I’m pretty sure he was voted in as a meme. Everyone knows Tom is gonna win,” Alexis stated. “And if Tom wins, you’ll win too with everyone thinking you’re together.”

“Hmm. I honestly hope Tuwaine gets the vote. He’s so sweet and totally deserves it.”

“I think we all know you’d prefer Tom as your royal counterpart,” one friend suggested, causing you to roll your eyes.

“How many times do I have to tell you guys! Nothing is going on! On another note, though, I got my white dress,” you mentioned, trying to steer the conversation away.

“Really? Let us see!” Caroline exclaimed.

“Ah, ah, ah. I’m saving it as a surprise for Friday. The only person who’s seen it is my mom, and it’s staying that way until the parade.”

You continued talking about the upcoming festivities and your excitement for the week, and the announcement of who would be crowned queen Friday at the pep rally.

That afternoon, you went to study hall with Alexis. Now that you were between sports, you had a free period to go do art, work out, or just “study,” so you chose the latter as a way to take a breather from everything that had been going on.

“So tell me everything about Johnny’s this weekend. Loved the costumes,” you started as you plopped down at two desks in the very back of the room.

“Not much to report. We mostly just hung out but I heard one dude had to go get his stomach pumped or something after the cops got there. We dipped out before it was busted because it was obvious they were coming. Now how was your weekend, since we’re finally alone?”

You thought about how much you’d actually tell her, especially considering that you hadn’t told her really anything about yours and Tom’s interactions in past weeks.

“Pretty good. It was mostly just volleyball.”

“Oh yeah? What all went down with Tom? Anna told me you seemed pretty close.”

Your face burned.

“We hugged after winning the tournament. Not a big deal. Oh and we maybe kinda pretended to be a couple Friday night.”

“What? You didn’t think to lead with that?!”

“It was for like a minute while we went up the elevator. This drunk couple was harassing us so we just played along for a little bit. Whatever,” you shrugged.

“Did you do anything couple-y? Don’t tell me you guys kissed.”

You tried not to cringe before somewhat telling a lie.

“I kissed him on the cheek and he put his arm around me. I swear it was nothing serious, Lex.”

“Hm. I still think you’ve gotta be hiding something, but I just don’t know what. And I’m gonna get to the bottom of it.”

Good luck with that. I’m not about to crack yet.

Spirit week continued with people coming up to let you know their votes had been cast for you. The voting ended Thursday so that votes could be counted before the pep rally.

When Friday did hit, you woke up early and tucked your volleyball jersey into some jeans and tossed on your letter jacket, as the day’s theme was school colors and jerseys.

You popped on some mascara and lip gloss, then headed to school, becoming more nervous as you got closer.

The pep rally would be right after lunch, but almost everyone was so excited for the weekend festivities that teachers basically gave everyone a free day so that the students in charge of the event could continue their planning and the athletes could prepare for the rally.

The pep rally was mostly for the football game, but they were also going to recognize the volleyball team’s accomplishments, so you prepared for that and the whole homecoming court thing.

In home ec, Mrs. Flynn let those that needed to help set up for the pep rally eat your lunches in class and then leave early.

You and Tom finished about the same time and went to your lockers to grab your things.

“Ready to win?” Tom asked as you walked towards the gym.

“Nope. You?”

“Yeah, actually. Maybe it’s just because I love winning so much.”

You gave him a little shove as you continued walking. Tom had his jersey on without the pads, so it fit big on him. You admired the way it draped over his thin, toned frame.

A bit later and the pep rally had begun with the dance team doing their routine, then came athlete recognitions.

They started with the volleyball team, calling you all out to the basketball court to wave as everyone cheered. After you all, the cheer squad hyped everyone up for the football team to come out.

You stood in a corner of the gym with Zendaya, as they would be announcing the homecoming court next. You both talked a little bit, but things were somewhat awkward.

Finally came the time to announce the winners. As with nominations, things went in order from freshman to senior, eventually reaching the king and queen announcement. The six of you stepped out onto the basketball court, the pit in your stomach bigger than before.

“Alright ladies and gentlemen, I know that this is the moment you have all been waiting so patiently for!” Mrs. Johnson looked around the bleachers at the cheering students, holding up her paper with everyone’s positions.

“We’re going to start with our third place, the duke and duchess of homecoming! May I have a drumroll please!”

Everyone stomped their feet and clapped.

“This year’s duke is Mr. Harrison Osterfield, and the duchess is Daisy Ridley!”

Cheers went up, not completely enthusiastic for the pair. You felt a little bit of satisfaction knowing the people you liked least had gotten third place.

“Now for our runners up, the prince and princess!” She paused for effect. “Tuwaine Barrett and Zendaya Coleman!”

More cheers rang out than before. Your jaw dropped as you looked at Tom.

“And that means that your senior king and queen are Tom Holland and y/n y/l/n! Congratulations to all of you. Can’t wait to see you at the parade, game, and dance!” Mrs. Johnson called out, dismissing everyone back to class.

Someone came and placed the crown on your head and slipped a silver sash which read “homecoming queen” over your body. You couldn’t help but slap a hand over your mouth.

“What did I tell you! I knew you’d win!” Tom exclaimed, holding out his hands. You so badly wanted to hug him, but decided not to in front of the whole school, at least not until tomorrow night.

Your friends rushed up and congratulated you, fawning over the crown and sash and laughing. Before you left, you had to return the two items to a teacher so you would have them for later that night.

As you left school that afternoon, you felt like you were floating on air.

You were back at the school later that evening, the game just over a couple hours away. There were families lining the street prepared to watch the parade make its way down.

Since leaving the school before, you’d put your hair in loose curls and done a full face of makeup. You tossed on some sweats and zipped up your varsity jacket, taking your dress and shoes along in the car to change there.

You waited until the last minute to slip on the outfit, causing people to fawn over you when you stepped outside to see everyone who was waiting.

Someone pinned the crown to your head and helped you slip on the sash, then led you to the convertible where Tom was waiting. You’d get to ride around sitting on the back waving like you’d always dreamed of doing.

Your heels clacked on the sidewalk as you confidently stepped. Sure, you didn’t wear heels much, but you sure knew how to work them.

It felt like slow motion when Tom turned around and you saw each other for the first time. He was wearing slacks and a sport coat and his curls were perfectly placed around his own crown. You both gasped a little.

“Y/n! You look… you look like-”

“Let me guess. A princess?” you smirked, raising a brow.

“I was gonna say queen.”

You rolled your eyes and chuckled, giving him a little shove. He helped you climb into the back of the car, and someone went to hand you his letter jacket.

“What’s this for?” you asked.

“Usually if it’s cold the queen wears her partners’ letterman over her shoulders if he has one.”

You thought about it. It was pretty chilly, after all.

“You don’t have to wear mine, y/n. Did you bring yours?” Tom asked, making you smile.

“Yeah, actually. I did. Would someone mind going and grabbing it from my stuff? It’s just inside.”

One girl ran and brought it back in a few minutes, and Tom helped drape it over just your shoulders.

“That’s more like it,” he said, giving you a smile as he fixed the neck.

A few minutes later, the cars and floats began moving and families cheered as you passed, waving with a smile on your face.

You and Tom talked to each other quietly as you looked around both sides of the street. When you reached the end, someone had you pose for a couple pictures in the daylight before the football players headed off to get ready for the game.

This was not only homecoming, but senior night, so they all wanted to be on their A-game.

Different people came up to congratulate you and you took pictures with friends, family, and even a few little kids. You were talking with the girls when you felt a hand on your shoulder.

You turned around to find the Holland family, including Nikki’s parents and a woman you assumed to be Dominic’s mom.

“Well I sure am glad to see that people have some decent sense around here,” Grandma said, giving you a warm smile. You gave her a hug then greeted the rest of the family.

“You look beautiful, dear. Congratulations,” said Nikki as she gave you a squeeze.

“Oh, y/n, this is my mother,” Dom explained, gesturing to another elderly woman.

“Just call me Nana, dear. I’ve heard a lot about you.” You smiled as she held your hands in hers.

“Thank you! Tom’s told me about you, too.”

Nikki shot some pictures of you with their family. It felt weird to be in their photos without Tom, but also comfortable, like you’d known them your whole life. You had to hold back a laugh when you took one kissing Paddy’s cheek and making him blush.

Eventually your parents also came over and talked to them, and everyone made their ways to the stadium.

A/N: omg it's been way too long since I updated TMP! I just wanted to pre-warn that next chapter will have the heaviest themes of this story. It will have adequate warnings but I want to make everyone aware!

Thanks for reading!

Send a message or ask if you’d like to be added to my permanent or series taglists so I can verify you’ve been added!

Story tag list: @jackiehollanderr, @one-big-fangirl, @l0lmk, @primadonnasdream, @bookworm06, @thenoddingbunny-blog, @agentnataliahofferson, @spider-babe, @stxfxniexreads, @justafangirlduh, @supraveng

#the marriage project #tom holland #tom holland x reader #tom holland fanfiction #tom holland x you #tom holland x y/n #tom holland imagine #tom holland au #tom holland series #tom holland fic

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meltwonu · 4 years

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| 🍒 CH-CH-CHERRY BOMB! 🍒 | [CHAPTER 3]

pairing; dom!seungcheol x camgirl!reader

this chapter’s notes; camshow, anal play, panty stuffing, toys that have fake cum, a bit of drunk ‘n dom!seungcheol, masturbation, daddy!kink 😳😏 yall! and we are back! I’m sorry we had to take a pause from last week but hopefully we won’t have anymore issues! 😭😭 this chapter is about 6.5k so strap in for the ride yall! and as always, thank you all soooo much for the support and love on my fics T_T it means so much to me! 💕 I hope yall have a good weekend bbys!! 🍒

chapters; 1 - 2 - 3 - ?

dom.cheol has donated $250

angelhan: :( i still cant believe i missed ur morning show…

chwenon: me too, i wouldn’t have stayed up til 6am had i known lol

sleepy_wonu: tbf, i couldve gotten kicked out of lab if i got caught watching… worth it tho

dom.cheol: i was at work but anything for u, baby.

You can’t help but pout at the camera reading the comments; knowing that some of your viewers were working or in class when you had done your surprise show. “Aww, m’sorry… I know it was so out of place for me but… You guys probably get it too, right?” You pause, sliding off of the pillow you were sitting on top of. You’d done a short show tonight; doing a strip tease for the camera before mounting a pillow and grinding against it until you came; fingertips gripping onto the silk as breathy moans spilled from your lips.

“Y’know? When you wake up and you’re just so needy.”

hoshi_tiger_xx: all the time, baby!

gentleman_josh95: literally me this morning ;(

“Right? See you guys get me!” You giggle. The sound of donations and comments sound off in the background as you zone out for a second.

It had already been a couple days since then and this was your first show back. You and Seungcheol had texted sporadically; a little bit of awkwardness on both ends if you were completely honest. He seemed genuinely shy which was not what you expected at first but you also knew it must’ve been weird for him to suddenly have unrestricted access to you. Seungcheol seemed to be unsure of what he was able to ask you or talk to you about, even though you had assured him that you wanted to get to know him just like regular friends.

In your case, Seungcheol was undeniably hot and seemed to really like you which sent the butterflies in your stomach soaring each and every time your phone pinged.

kitty_junjun: hey can i ask a weird question

You tilt your head, eyes blinking cutely at the camera. “Of course!”

kitty_junjun: do u think you’ll ever have a show with someone else? Like a guest or sth? I know we’ve asked before but i’m just curious since your anniversary is comin up again...

Biting your lip, you watch as the others chime in, asking the same question. In truth, you had considered it maybe once or twice. But that came with risks. Not only would you have to find someone who was okay with being on camera with you, but you also ran the risk of losing viewers if they weren’t happy with who it was or how it turned out.

Seungcheol bites his lip reading the comments; he’d thought about it too.

He thought about if he’d be jealous, which he convinced himself he wouldn’t be. He would.

And whether or not he would pay to be the person to join you on cam and fuck you in front of all your viewers.

He definitely would.

“Mmm… I mean, I definitely thought about it before? But wouldn’t it be weird to see someone else on my shows? And, like, an actual… guy?” You watch the comments fly past, donations getting lost in the flurry of comments saying that you should do it.

universe_WZ: and miss the chance of seeing u getting fucked and put in ur place like a good girl?

universe_WZ: i will pay top dollar

alphagyu97: same

artist8hao: also same

dom.cheol: you already know how much we’d all love to see your cute lil cunt getting filled up with a real cock, sweetheart.

You bite your lip in thought, glancing at the camera with a coy expression. “Hmm, okay! I’ll keep thinking about it… I really want to but it’s gonna take some time to find the right person and make sure they’re okay with being on cam with me too~”

j__min: u should ask me, i cam sometimes too… we should collab ;)

Trying to hide the awkwardness, you laugh it off, tucking a few stray hairs behind your ear. “Oh? A camboy that watches me? That’s interesting~”

There were usually only 13 of your viewers who you considered to be your ‘regulars’ and you knew them all by their usernames. Of course, there were others who seemed to comment here and there and lots of anonymous donations and comments as well. But the newcomer seemed to be very interested in you and you weren’t sure how to take it just yet.

“Hmm~ Okay! I think I’m gonna end the show here! It’s getting kinda late now, huh? I ended up staying and chatting too long again~”

dom.cheol has donated $300

universe_WZ has donated $100

dom.cheol: it’s okay baby we like talking to u :)

sleepy_wonu: agreed

You stick your tongue out, winking at the camera before you say your goodbyes and last few thank you’s.

“I’ll see you guys next time~ Sleep well and dream of me!”

Seungcheol takes a deep breath, rolling his computer chair away from his desk as soon as you go offline. You’d been as cute as you normally were, but this time he felt like your lust filled eyes pierced the screen a little harder than usual.

He reaches for his phone, opening your text window before typing a quick response. ‘Great show tonight, baby. ;)’ Pausing, he wonders if it’s a little too weird to text right after you’d finished a show; but instead hits send. The read receipt shows up immediately after which alerts Seungcheol you already had your text window up when he messaged you.

babygirl 🍒 : i was just about to message u!! hehe, how are u?

Seungcheol bites his lip. Would it be too much to call? He ponders.

‘Hey, is it okay to call? If ur busy, it’s okay. Just figured it’d be quicker than typing.’ He hits send before he can regret it, watching as the read receipt shows up under his message again.

In a few seconds, it’s his phone that rings, your display name at the top as he accepts your call.

“Cheollie!” Seungcheol’s heart threatens to beat out of his chest at your nickname for him, hand clutching the phone tightly as he tries to calm himself down. “Hey, sweetheart. Sorry, you must be tired? I just thought this would’ve been quicker.” He chuckles, standing from his computer chair as he makes his way towards his bed.

“Oh, not at all! I’m just tidying up so I have you on speaker right now~ If that’s okay?”

“Mm, of course, baby.”

Seungcheol takes the time to lay in his bed, a deep sigh escaping him as he relaxes into the sheets. “Everything okay, ‘Cheol?” Your voice is soft and gentle; music to his ears as he stares at the ceiling.

“Yeah! Just… the comments have been weird, huh?” He ends it with an awkward laugh, hoping you knew exactly what he was talking about.

“Oh, are you talking about people asking me to invite someone or the new guy in the comments?” Seungcheol doesn’t know which he wants to talk about first. “I guess both?” He inquires, hoping that it’s not too prying.

You make a humming noise on the other end, deciding which one to address first. “Mm, I mean… I would love to have someone else on the show with me but I don’t know… Don’t you think it’d be weird? I feel like I’ve been doing my show for so long by myself but maybe I should start trying other stuff…” You trail off, leaving it open-ended for Seungcheol’s opinion.

“It’s ultimately up to you, sweetheart. But---But if you do, just promise me you’ll make sure everything with this person checks out, okay? I mean--I just want you to be safe, don’t let it just be some weirdo off the internet.” Seungcheol blushes, words leaving his lips in a hurried mess. Sometimes he hated how overprotective he was of you. “And--and make sure they take a STD test and stuff, y’know?” Your giggles pour out of the phone receiver as Seungcheol hides his face in one of his pillows.

“Is this in reference to the ‘j__min’ person offering their services?” Yes.

“No…” Seungcheol mutters, somehow already knowing that you didn’t believe it.

“‘Cheol~ don’t worry. I’m not gonna get into cahoots with someone I don’t know. And honestly, it kinda weirds me out how he came out of nowhere… Makes me wonder if he was some anonymous viewer or donator this entire time and then decided to have a name.” There’s a pause on your end; Seungcheol hearing the washing machine going off.

“And anyway, if I were to do a cam show with someone else, I think I’d want to know them really well, don’cha think? Like a friend, maybe?”

Seungcheol lets you go to sleep after 15 more minutes of chatting; making sure you down a glass of water and get some food delivered before he lets you go for the night.

He places his phone down onto the nightstand, tugging his shirt off as he stands. But his phone pings not a second later, confusion crossing his features as he picks it up.

‘Hey hyung, don’t forget we’re going to that new diner across town tomorrow after work!!! I’m gettin me some disco fries baby!!!! - ggukie’

Seungcheol ends work 30 minutes later than he should the next day and Jeongguk watches from the concession stand as Seungcheol trudges over, fingertips running through his silvery-blue hair as he sighs.

“Some kid fuckin’ puked in the restroom and nobody wanted to clean it up so guess who did.” He complains, leaning his head onto the cool countertop as Jeongguk pats his head comfortingly. “Not my job but you should’ve called someone else. Where was Yoongi-hyung?”

“Gone, as per usual. We both know he clocks out 30 minutes early.”

The two laugh half-heartedly, making sure they have their things before they leave for the night. The night shift crew had already checked in just a few minutes prior; Taehyung and Hoseok waving them off as they leave.

They hop into Seungcheol’s car; Jeongguk already fiddling with the radio controls as Seungcheol puts in the address for the new diner that had opened up. “I hope this place is good. It seems to get a lot of good reviews for a place that just opened up, like, two weeks ago.” Jeongguk nods, settling into his seat as Seungcheol pulls out of the parking lot.

“We live in a city that’s straight out of an episode of Riverdale. I mean, we work at a roller rink? And there’s diners all over? But we’re in the present day with present day technology? Soon we’ll be Archie and Jughead. Except I want to be Jughead since I have the tattoos so you can be Archie. Or we can both be, like, from the Serpents but I still want to be Jughead.”

Seungcheol raises a brow at Jeongguk’s references.

“I don’t know that show so all of that just went over my head.”

It takes approximately 30 minutes to get across town; the huge neon lights from the diner welcoming them into the parking lot as Seungcheol parks the car somewhere near the entrance.

“God, was it just me or did that take a long time? I’m fuckin’ starving.” Seungcheol mutters; hopping out of the driver’s seat. “I think you’re just hungry, hyung.” Jeongguk offers, jogging up to the other male as they make their way to the doors.

Thankfully, the place seemed relatively empty for a Thursday night, a lone male standing at the front of the diner in a pastel coloured uniform.

“Hey! Welcome to Dynamite, my name’s Jun! Table for two?” Seungcheol nods slowly, eyes narrowing at the male who, for whatever reason, seemed familiar.

Jun picks up two menus, guiding them to a booth in the far corner of the diner. “We’re just a little understaffed tonight so I’ll also be your server tonight! Can I get you guys some water to start?” The two nod as they sit in the multi-coloured booth. “Hey, can I ask you something?” Jun blinks, nodding slowly as Seungcheol peers up at him from where he’s seated.

“I feel like I’ve met you? It’s weird. I’m pretty sure we’ve never met though…?” Seungcheol trails off, confused eyes meeting Jun’s. Jun wracks his brain, unsure, but feeling the same way. “I dunno, I feel the same but I’m pretty sure we never met. Maybe a past life thing?”

Jeongguk laughs, eyes too focused on the menu in front of him. “Oh, that’d be weird as fuck.”

“Anyway, I’ll come back with your water!” Jun walks away, leaving Seungcheol and Jeongguk to go through the menu.

“Hey, Seungcheol-hyung?”

“Mm?”

“I know you said you’re usually busy on the weekends but I’m doing a PUBG stream on Saturday and was wondering if you wanted to hang? I asked Yoongi-hyung too and he’s coming over to drink and hang out.” Seungcheol’s lips press into a firm line, eyes burning holes into the menu in front of him.

Jeongguk was a video game streamer sometimes and his streaming schedule lined up with yours which is why Seungcheol almost never had a chance to watch or be a part of Jeongguk’s. “Um, what time is it at?”

“I’m thinking of streaming from like 6PM to midnight or somethin’. But you don’t have to be there the entire time! Just thought it’d be cool to hang out on the weekends for once.”

Seungcheol nods slowly, glancing up at Jeongguk who’s already staring back at him. “I can probably show up for a bit? I need to leave by 10 though, I, uh, sleep early sometimes.” He knows Jeongguk doesn’t buy it, but a smile paints itself onto the younger male’s face in an instant.

“Cool! Wow, didn’t think you’d say yes actually.”

The older male nods, a tight smile on his lips. Your cam schedule was almost always on time; Fridays, Saturdays, every other Monday, and every other Wednesday at 11PM. Sometimes you’d have surprise shows, like before, but you often kept to your schedule unless something important came up. “I know, I get so busy on the weekends, y’know?”

Jun comes back with their waters, setting them down on the table before fishing out a pad and paper to take their orders. “What are you doing on the weekends anyway? I feel like I’ve never asked directly but you never return my calls on Fridays and Saturdays.” Seungcheol freezes mid-order, hands gripping the laminated menu. “Um, and a cherry coke, please, thank you. And I told you ‘Guk, I… I just like to unwind on the weekends, I like to enjoy my quiet time so--so sometimes I just turn my phone off, y’know?.”

Jeongguk puts his order in with Jun who runs their order back before he walks off again. “Is working at the roller rink that bad? I know it can get wild sometimes but… are you thinking about quitting?”

In truth, Seungcheol had thought about it before when he was first starting out at the roller rink. But he also knew it paid too well for him to leave just yet. “Nah, just… it gets loud, y’know? I end up doing jobs around the place that I’m not qualified to do. And with Namjoon-hyung gone still, we’re shorthanded. I thought about picking up another job for some extra cash, but with what time?” Seungcheol grabs his glass of water, lips puckered around the plastic straw as he takes a sip.

“You should cam!”

Water sprays all over the table as Seungcheol sputters, choking on the liquid. “The---what!?” Jun runs over with a stack of pink tissues, helping to wipe up the water as Jeongguk stares from across the table with a wide grin. He waits until Jun leaves again; eyes fixated on Seungcheol and the crimson blush that coats his cheeks and ears. “It’d be easy money for you. You’re not exactly ugly, and you can cover your face!”

“Why exactly are you suggesting that!? Why’d you go straight for that!?” Seungcheol screams under his breath.

“Let’s be real, it’s crossed my mind so it’s probably crossed yours too. You can always just game too, but if you need cash quick y’know… And hey, I have some extra equipment so…” Jeongguk trails off, wiggling his eyebrows at Seungcheol suggestively.

Seungcheol had actually thought about that too. Maybe once or twice.

But after he’d spoken to you and found out just how difficult it really was to keep your viewers engaged and how difficult it was trying to find new ideas to bring to your cam show, he knew it wasn’t as easy as most people thought it’d be. You always put in extra effort in your cam shows and it was a whole production with effort and ideas. Sometimes it took you days to even come up with a theme for a show and sometimes it didn’t do as well as you’d hoped.

“Um, if I ever do, I’ll let you know ‘Guk.”

Saturday comes sooner than Seungcheol knows and he’s antsy. He could barely even enjoy your cam show from the night prior knowing that he had to haul ass back home after Jeongguk’s stream. He plots out the drive home; times it just perfectly so he still has some spare time to relax before your show starts.

For a second, he wonders if it was the right decision or if he should’ve just stayed home like he normally did. But he quickly shakes the thoughts out of his head; glad to get out of his apartment and spend time with his friends on the weekends for once.

He makes it to Jeongguk’s place on time, a box of beer tucked under his arm when he knocks on the door. Shockingly, it’s Yoongi on the other end who greets him; a lopsided smile on his face as he ushers Seungcheol inside. “‘Guk was setting up so…”

“I brought more beer! He said you were spending the night on his sofa so drink all you want, hyung.” Yoongi nods, plopping back down onto the sofa as Seungcheol makes his way towards Jeongguk’s PC room.

The entire room is lined with LEDs, posters of anime and various video games lining all the spaces between the soundproofing pads that Jeongguk haphazardly attached to the wall.

“Yooo, how’s the setup coming?”

“I’m almost ready!”

It takes 20 more minutes of Jeongguk fiddling before he sits in his expensive gaming chair; Seungcheol close behind as he watches the younger male pull up the loading screen. “You’re not drinking, hyung?”

Seungcheol shakes his head, legs crossed as he leans back in the spare desk chair. “Nah, I drove here. Gotta be responsible, kid.” Jeongguk shakes his head, placing his headset and mic on before starting his stream.

“Hey guys! Welcome back to Golden Closet Gaming! I’m doing a PUBG stream tonight and one of my closest friends is here so if you hear him on the mic, that’s definitely not a ghost this time!” A concerned look crosses Seungcheol’s features but he laughs lightly. “Hey guys, I’m Seung---I’m, uh… I’m---SCOUPS!” He blurts out in a hurry; using his gaming username instead.

“And I’m your main player, JK!”

Watching Jeongguk game so seriously is interesting for Seungcheol. They take a break an hour and a half into Jeongguk’s streaming session to get food and drinks; immediately going back to the PC room right after.

But it makes Seungcheol wonder what it was like on your end to always be alone filming in your bedroom to thousands of people in such an intimate setting. For a second, it makes him sad, wondering if you ever felt lonely after your shows were over. Or if you were so tired and could barely take care of yourself.

I would’ve gladly been the one to take care of you after your shows, he thinks.

“Fuck you too, asshole! Get the fuck out!”

Jeongguk’s screaming brings him out of his sad thoughts; a brow raised as he peers at the screen. How the younger male had the energy to game for so long was beyond him sometimes.

“Uhhh anyway comments are asking what I should stream next week? I dunno, give me some ideas? Not the SIMS again though...” Jeongguk mutters. “Oh, j__min said I should play The Last of Us?”

The name has Seungcheol perking up in an instant, leaning over Jeongguk’s shoulder as his eyes dance over the comments.

j__min: bro u were supposed to stream that like 4 streams ago, wtf

seokGENIE: its a good game tho, id be interested in seeing how badly u do

j__min: actually yea me too lmao

Seungcheol’s eyes narrow slightly. Surely it couldn’t be? He thinks. The typing style wasn’t the same at all but the username was, which sent Seungcheol’s mind into a frenzy at the possibility.

But unfortunately for Seungcheol, Jeongguk launches into another match which means he had to wait another time to ask about it. He notes it mentally, making sure to get answers as soon as he can.

10PM comes sooner than Seungcheol expects and he lets Jeongguk know when it’s 9:50PM and while they’re in the middle of a break that he needs to go.

“Damn, where did time go? But okay, hyung! Sorry we didn’t really talk and I just gamed the entire time but maybe next time we can actually do something else? Go out for drinks maybe?” He shoots the older male his best puppy eyes until Seungcheol sighs and gives in, nodding as he fishes for his car keys.

“I’ll see you at work, okay?”

Seungcheol waves at Yoongi still glued to the sofa; a tiny wave of his own as he wishes Seungcheol a safe drive home.

He makes it home at exactly 10:32PM, toeing his shoes off before shucking off his jacket and tossing it onto the back of the sofa. He shuffles to the kitchen and grabs a few beers out of the fridge; already downing two entire bottles before he even makes it to his PC.

The buzz feels good when he sits down, taking a swig of his third bottle as he boots up his computer. In the meantime, he checks his phone, scrolling through apps and deleting notifications.

A text pops up at the top of his phone’s screen.

babygirl 🍒 : see u soon :)

Seungcheol smirks; ego inflated knowing that he was the only one getting that text message.

He checks the clock, 10:56PM, and loads up your profile, simultaneously finishing off his third can of beer since he’d gotten home.

For whatever reason, you’re nervous when you finally sit down in front of your camera setup tonight. You adjust your baby pink lace bra that Seungcheol had gotten you; a cherry blush on your cheeks as the giddiness pours over you.

Checking the clock, you notice it’s already 10:59PM, finger hovering over the ‘rec’ button before pressing it.

It takes a second before the comments already start flooding in; the sound of donations and comments flying across the screen in an instant.

“Whoa~ You guys are so eager tonight, huh? Already so many donations! Thank you!” You shift slightly onto your side, biting your lip. “We’re already so close to the minimum donations for me to start… what’s up with you guys?”

tangerine_kwan: I’m so glad to see u, yesterday was not enough

therealchan99: fuckin talk abt it dude, i almost quit my job im stressed i need to see u princess

dom.cheol has donated $500

dom.cheol: fuck, baby i need to see your pretty lil pussy already i’m so fuckin hard

Your eyes go wide with Seungcheol’s massive donation. He usually waited until you were mid-show or towards the end to donate such huge amounts of money and yesterday he seemed relatively quiet during your show. It threw you off slightly, but you just assumed he might’ve just been going through some things at the time. “Seems like you guys had a rough week, huh?”

xcaliburDK: gOD u dont even know, ur literally my stress relief, beautiful

kitty_junjun: yea i just started working at a new place and its… weird, just glad to be off today

Pouting at the camera, you lean in a little closer. “Hmm, guess I should start then, shouldn’t I~? Since you all seem like you need a ‘lil escape~”

gentleman_josh95 has donated $45

sleepy_wonu has donated $70

sleepy_wonu: please put us out of our misery, baby

You can’t help but giggle, sliding the bra straps down your shoulders before you unhook the material and toss it to the other side of the bed. “This cute setup didn’t last very long this time! Should I upload some pics later to my private room?”

alphagyu97: plz

chwenon: yes yes yes lewds plz

“Okay~” You pause, fingertips hooked onto the sides of your panties. “I actually… wanted to try a new toy…” You murmur, shyness taking over as you slowly slide your already wet panties down your thighs. Sitting back down, you slide them off completely before you place them next to you, glancing at the comments as you cross your ankles.

artist8hao: wait was that…

universe_WZ: i think so

hoshi_tiger_xx: plz plz plz let us seeeeee

dom.cheol has donated $200

dom.cheol: spread your legs, sweetheart. Let daddy see.

You clench your teeth at the arousal that pools in your lower abdomen; shaky legs parting towards the camera. Squirming slightly, the plug that you had eased into your ass shifts, making you mewl at the feeling. You’d tried using your fingers in the past, but by far, the toy was the biggest you’d used yet.

“I--I… I bought this toy m-myself ‘cause I wanted to… wa--wanted to… start learning how to t-take cock in my ass too…”

The way you sit on the bed has the toy fully seated inside of you, toes curling against the bed sheets as your hazy eyes flit to the camera. “I dunno how long I’m gonna last, it feels so good~” You moan, grinding against the sheets underneath you.

angelhan has donated $150

angelhan: i’m begging please, panty stuffing

You bite your lip, eyes dancing over to the lace material sitting next to you. “Hmm~ I don’t think I’ve ever done that on my show before… Should I try it?” You ask cutely, flashing the camera a cheeky smile. The donations pour in like rain; the pinging making your stream lag for a second as it tries to keep up.

dom.cheol has donated $400

tangerine_kwan has donated $100

dom.cheol: fuck, sweetheart lets see you get those panties fucking soaked

universe_WZ has donated $200

“Guess we have our answer?” You laugh airily, reading a few of the comments that were basically begging you to.

Spreading your legs as wide as you can, you maneuver yourself against your pillows; grabbing the lacy material. You quickly adjust the camera with a remote, zooming in until it’s focused on your soaking folds. “Ngh, I’m already so fuckin’ wet… this plug is really making me feel so full~”

dom.cheol: i bet your cute lil ass could barely take my fuckin cock huh

“Mmh, is daddy gonna fuck my ass and make me cum nice and hard?”

yes, yes yes, god yes!

Seungcheol could die right now and be happy.

He wraps a hand around his cock, hips shallowly thrusting up into his closed fist as he watches you run your own fingertips through your wet folds before you sink two of them into your tight pussy. His eyes flutter shut, the image of himself fucking your tight ass as you whine and beg for his cum dancing behind his eyelids.

The alcohol in his body has him on edge even quicker; the grip he has on his cock loosening so he doesn’t cum as quickly.

“A-ah… g--guess it’s time to try this…” You whisper, reaching for the lacy panties. You drag the material up your thigh teasingly, swinging it around your wet fingertips before you place it against your entrance.

You take a deep breath, slowly pushing the panties into your pussy.

tangerine_kwan: oh my god oh my god

alphagyu97: fuck thsts so hot fuck

angelhan: spread your legs more, please god

Your lust filled eyes glance towards the comments, shakily spreading your legs as far as they can go. “O-oh god it--it feels suh--so good…” You mewl, pressing the material further and further into your pussy.

“It’s d-different but… but it’s--it’s--mmh!”

You’re cumming before you know it, toes curling against the sheets as you cum around the toy in your ass and your fingers and panties deep inside your pussy.

Your legs threaten to clamp shut in an instant, which you fight off; the sound of donations and coins clinking flooding your eardrums. “I--fuh--fuck, I--I didn’t know I was gonna c-cum from that!” You let out a breathy laugh, moaning as you continue to push the panties inside of you until the fabric is completely gone from the camera’s view.

chwenon: now will u sell those

hoshi_tiger_xx: please once again i am begging I AM BEGGING

“Aww~ I wish I could… but you guys know my rules~” You pout; body warm and fuzzy after your first, unexpected orgasm. “God, I didn’t… I really didn’t know that’d make me cum so easily~”

dom.cheol: fuck sweetheart, your cute lil cunt cums so fuckin easily

“I know~ I have such a greedy pussy… Always want something filling me up…” You wink at the camera, reaching for a toy that was out of view. “I have another toy~ hehe, tonight is just full of new things, huh?”

You show the toy off to the camera, shifting so that you're on your knees instead. “It looks like a regular dildo right? But it’s full of cum! Not real cum anyway, but cum lube… It’s not the same but it’ll have to do for now~”

therealchan99: oh fuck oh god

sleepy_wonu: aww is the princess gonna let it cum in her cute ass?

artist8hao has donated $75

kitty_junjun has donated $50

dom.cheol: lets see that ass fuckin take all that cock baby

dom.cheol: let it cum in ur pretty lil hole

dom.cheol: fuck

You zoom your camera back out, turning to your side enough so that you could still see your monitor but also still be in frame. “Yeah? Does daddy wanna see how a good girl takes cock in her ass?” Moaning, you reach behind you, fingers on the end of the plug as you slowly pull it out. The stretch makes your back arch slightly; legs trembling when the larger part of the toy finally breaches past the puckered muscle.

The sudden emptiness only makes you reach for the dildo faster, covering it with lube before you place it against your ass. “D’you think I can take it?”

tangerine_kwan: i kno u can baby

sleepy_wonu: yes eys yes

dom.cheol: daddy knows u can, sweetheart

You place the toy at your puckered hole, biting your lip and telling yourself to relax before you slowly start easing it into your ass. “O-oh fuck…” You had made sure the toy was on the smaller size since it was your first time but the stretch of it still had your body tensing up almost immediately.

It takes a long and torturous minute until the toy is fully seated in your ass; body buzzing at the sensation. “G-god it--fuck, it feels even better than the plug~” You whine, maneuvering until you were sitting down on the toy completely.

You let your body adjust to the new feeling for a moment before you’re bouncing on the dildo, loud cries and garbled moans spilling from your lips. The new feeling has you chasing your high insanely fast; tuning out the comments and noises as you focus on your own pleasure.

Your mind can’t help but imagine Seungcheol again; his hands roaming your skin and his deep voice growling filthy praises into your ear as he fucks you from behind. You clench around the toy and the panties still in your pussy, wrecked sobs on your lips at the thought.

Before Seungcheol, you always imagined nameless hands on your body or even resorted to thinking about other videos you’d seen to help get you off. Some days it was harder and some days you were cumming in under five minutes. But now that Seungcheol had a name and face to you, it was impossible for you to imagine anyone else fucking you.

“Shi---it, I--I wanna cum!”

dom.cheol: already? Fuckin greedy lil ass

dom.cheol: cum, sweetheart. Let daddy cum in ur tight ass too

universe_WZ has donated $100

alphagyu97 has donated $75

You alternate from bouncing on the dildo to swiveling your hips; reaching a free hand down to rub circles around your swollen clit. “Already? Can I cum?” You whisper, mind already a puddle of goo now that you were so close.

kitty_junjun: cum

xcaliburDK: cum

chwenon: cum

dom.cheol: you heard them, sweetheart. Cum. Now.

Seungcheol’s grip on his cock tightens after he sends the comment; growls spilling from his lips as he watches you bounce on the toy. His cock throbs in his hold, already feeling himself just as close to his orgasm as you were to yours.

“Fu--fuck I’m cumming! D---daddy!” You cry, slamming yourself down onto the toy as you cum hard. Seungcheol bites his lip to keep in his own screams; streaks of cum landing on his shirt and jeans as he works himself through his own orgasm.

He tries to keep his eyes focused on you in the midst of his orgasm, watching as you squeeze the base of the dildo until the cum inside starts to pour into your ass. “O--oh god!” You mewl, still thrusting the toy into your ass.

Seungcheol’s mouth goes dry when you reach a shaky hand between your legs, fingertips dipping into your pussy and pulling the soaked lace until half of it is in view of the camera. His grip on his cock tightens, moans on his lips when you then slowly start pulling the dildo out of your ass; the fake lube immediately spilling out of your ass and onto the bed sheets and sliding down onto the panties.

universe_WZ: oh my god oh ymg f

xcaliburDK: eyeeeeeee

kitty_junjun: i

You push the fake cum out, soft cries on your lips as the last bits of your orgasm roll through your body. The fake cum feels slightly cold which sends a shiver up your spine as it drips down your legs.

“Mmh… god that---that was intense…” You mumble, upper body slumping against the sheets.

You reach a hand between your legs again, making sure you’re in the camera’s view when you tug on the panties again; this time pulling them all the way out as you groan.

alphagyu97: if ur not selling those can it be a giveaway

alphagyu97: make it a raffle

You toss the soiled fabric to the side, mindful of the puddle of fake cum soaking into the sheets as you readjust your tired self in front of the camera. “You guys really want these, huh?” You laugh, responding to a few other stray comments asking for the soaked material. Your entire body is tingling from all the new sensations, mind going a mile a minute with the adrenaline coursing through your veins.

Slumping forward, you thank your viewers again, yawning as you stretch out. “I think I need a bubble bath now~ ‘m so messy!”

hoshi_tiger_xx: we love a messy girl ;)

therealchan99: fuck yea we do

Letting a few more viewers leave donations, you start saying your goodbyes; wishing everyone a good weekend before you blow a kiss to the camera and sign off.

Seungcheol sends one last donation of $550, jaw clenched and cock still throbbing.

He reaches for his phone on instinct, opening your text window. Pausing, he grins. Maybe it was the alcohol in his system but he opens his camera app, flipping it so that it’s on him as he snaps picture after picture of his cum covered torso and his free hand still wrapped around his hard cock.

Smirking, he opens your text window again, thumb dancing across the keyboard with renewed energy.

‘fuck, princess. your fuckin show got me so hard. those panties were fuckin soaking from how much u liked getting ur ass fucked huh? I bet i could get u to cum just from me fuckin your cute lil ass... probably wouldnt even need to touch ur clit or fuck your cunt to get your tight walls cummin for me. but ur a greedy lil thing arent u? probably would still want a toy to keep that pussy nice n sated. fuck, im still hard even tho i already came once.’

He hits send before he thinks twice, quickly attaching a few of his own pictures before he locks his phone and tosses it onto his desk.

Seungcheol’s body is sensitive from his first orgasm still, but his hips thrust up into his closed palm again; head leaning up against the headrest as he lets out harsh breaths. His eyes flutter shut, eyelashes tickling his skin.

This time his imagination runs wild; hands tangled in your hair while he tugs on it, forcing your back straight against his chest as he fucks into you hard and fast. He imagines your sweet voice begging him to let you cum, walls tight around his cock when you fall apart on it.

“Fuck!” He cums hard, body rigid as his free hand digs into the armrest and the air is knocked out of his lungs.

Seungcheol vaguely hears his phone pinging in the background; mind hazy as the waves of his orgasm wash over his body.

When he starts to come down, he slumps against the chair, sleepiness already taking over with his two orgasms and the alcohol still in his system. He mentally makes a note to get rid of his soiled clothes another time, tiredly reaching for his phone.

He stares at it through his blurry vision, barely making out your name before he blinks the tiredness away enough to read your message.

babygirl 🍒: hehe~ does daddy want my panties then? i’ll gladly give them to u if u want them~ 😚

#cherrybomb!cheol #seungcheol smut #seventeen smut #svt smut #scoups smut #seungcheol scenarios #seungcheol imagines #scoups imagines #scoups scenarios #seventeen imagines #seventeen scenarios #svt scenarios #svt imagines #scoups #seungcheol

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taleasnewastime · 3 years

Text

Flatmates | Part 2

Summary: You need to find a spare room after deciding to move out of your flat that you share with your best friend and her boyfriend. Stumbling upon an advert for a room that seems almost too good to be true, you decide for once to not over think and go for it. But who is the mystery flatmate you are now living with that you hardly see?

Pairing: Hoseok/Reader

Genre: Fluff, angst, slight smut

Word count: 16.9k

Part 1

Warnings: Mentions of alcohol consumption (though just for fun).

Authors Note: So this is part 2 and the final part of this story. There’s a bit of everything in this, fluff, smut and angst. I hope you enjoy :)

The conversation you had accidentally overheard plagued your mind over the following days. Thoughts on what the conversation could have been about littered your mind. Most of them negative.

As promised, Hoseok had a few days off work, so although you still had to go to work, you saw him in the evenings. The two of you hanging out almost as if you were normal flatmates. You grew to know him more than you had before and you grew to like him. He seemed like a normal person rather than the rich man that you had painted him to be in your mind. But as much as you tried to forget it, the conversation between Hoseok and Jimin wouldn’t leave your mind and you wondered every time you spoke to him whether that was when he was going to bring it up and whether that was the right time he was referring to.

The few days that Hoseok has off go by too quickly and before you know it you are back alone in the flat. You would never admit it to anyone, but you missed the mans presence around the flat. You missed coming home to see him lounging on the sofa. You missed eating your tea with him. You missed watching TV with him, even if the two of you didn’t talk. It felt like you had a normal living arrangement and you would go as far as calling him a friend now.

The first day that you came home knowing that Hoseok wouldn’t be home you felt your mood dampen. But then you noticed the distinctive colour of a post-it note on the side. Your heart initially drops at the sight, realising that this was now how you would have to communicate. Just as quickly as your heart drops, it lifts back up in excitement, because any communication with him was good. Dropping your bag by the door you go and pick up the note, reading it.

Maybe Yoongi was right. Text me whenever, about whatever.

Followed by a series of numbers that you assume is his number. Your first emotion was shock, not expecting a note was one thing, Hoseok giving you his number was another thing. Your second emotion was a slight panic. Sure you had grown closer to Hoseok over the past few days, but you still felt weird about texting him. What should you message him? You had initially wanted him to give you his number first, but now that had happened, you realise the ball was in your court to message him, and what the hell were you supposed to say. You spent that night debating over a text, and in the end you had just opted for a simple.

Hi, it’s Y/N. Now you have my number too :)

You had slightly cringed at the message, but all other options you thought of were just as awkward. Trying to take Lilys constant advice, you ended up not over thinking it too much and just send the message.

From there your conversations moved from post-it note, to in person conversation to finally text messages. Like Yoongi had joked, you had moved into the 21st Century and though messages weren’t that frequent, they were more frequent than the notes you used to leave. You were able to ask him if he would want food that night, ask him how his days were going, joke with him about things you found around the flat. Again it didn’t feel like a conventional flatmate relationship, but it was a definite improvement.

After a few weeks of almost constant texting and seeing Hoseok once here and there around the flat you got a message from Jimin.

Hey it’s Jimin. Hobis birthday is next weekend and we’re throwing him a surprise birthday. I was hoping you would do us the biggest favour in letting us host at the flat and helping us keeping it a surprise? Please could you let me know ASAP? Look forward to seeing you, hopefully you don’t pass out before all the fun this time x

A smile comes to your face as you read the message. You hardly knew Jimin yet you liked the fact he was messaging you as if you were friends. The message was a bit of a surprise, though, as you had no idea that it was Hoseoks birthday. You had a week to try and figure out what the hell you were going to buy him. You reply to Jimin.

Y/N: All good with me. Let me know how I can help out, decorations, snacks, entertainment etc. I won’t drink any of your cocktails this week and I should be fine.

Jimin: Thank you so much, I was going to bribe you with alcohol but sounds like that won’t be necessary. I’ll get everything sorted and keep you posted on the plans. You’ll get to meet the rest of the gang too, they can’t wait to meet you x

You hadn’t really thought about the fact that you would be meeting all of Hoseoks friends until Jimin mentions it. A room full of people that all probably knew everyone, and then you. Nerves at the thought of the party start to build. But you busy yourself with ideas at presents and trying to help Jimin to organise different aspects of the party.

The weekend rolls around in no time, birthday balloons and banners appear around the flat. As promised Jimin and Jin turned up early to help decorate. They told you that Hoseok had been asked to help do something at work as a distraction, meaning he would be home late and it would leave enough time for you all to set up and people to turn up before him. Having never met Jin before it didn’t take long for you to feel like you had known him forever, he was the sort of person who you could easily talk to and feel at home with.

As the three of you set up for the party, more people slowly started to turn up. Taehyung and Yoongi turned up near the start, and you were happy there were some familiar faces. Namjoon and Jungkook also turned up early and were introduced as close friends of Hoseok. They all seemed a close-knit group, but they involved you in everything they did and discussed and made you feel at home around them. They seemed like a nice bunch and you could see why Hoseok was friends with them.

When you had all transformed the flat so that it was ready for a party, more people started to turn up. Liv was the only person you had met before and you felt a bit anxious at the room full of people that clearly knew each other well and you knew none of them. You hardly even knew the person who the party was for, and you wished you had asked if you could have at least invited Lily, then you wouldn’t have felt so alone. Even with these doubts in your mind though, Hoseoks friends involved you in their conversations, explaining stories when necessary, asking questions about you. In the end it didn’t feel so bad.

Before the party you had decided you didn’t want to get as drunk as the last time you had met Hosoeks friends, taking the words in Jimins text seriously. However with the build-up of nerves you did end up with a drink in your hand before Hoseok had even turned up to the party, deciding that the alcohol would give you some liquid courage.

At the expected time Jimin told everyone that Hoseok was heading up to the flat and that everyone should hide. Looking around a bit lost as to where to go, Jungkook grabs your arm and pulls you over to a spot behind the door, and you smile up at him in thanks.

“Thanks for letting us steal the flat for this,” he whispers into your ear as the lights go out.

“It’s Hoseoks flat. I should be thanking you guys for letting me join,” you say.

His face scrunches in confusion, causing a few wrinkles to appear on his nose, and his eyebrows to be pulled closer together.

“But you pay to live here, so it’s as much your flat as his,” he argues. “And of course you had to be here. Hobi talks about you all the time so I think he would kick off if he found out you weren’t allowed to stay.”

Now it was your turn to show confusion. Memories come back to you of Jimin saying that Hoseok had spoken about you, which had surprised you at the time, but you had assumed he had just mentioned that you were living with him. Before you can argue your point more or ask what Hoseok had said about you, Jungkook taps you on the shoulder pointing at the front door which a lock can be heard twisting in. Seconds later the door opens to reveal an unsuspecting Hoseok.

As he turns the lights on everyone jumps out of their hiding spot shouting “happy birthday” to him. Hoseok nearly runs back out the door in shock, his legs move fast on the spot, his knees going so high they almost hit his chest as a small yelp leaves his lips. You can’t help but laugh along with everyone at the scene, the man obviously spooked at the surprise.

“At least we know he hadn’t figured out we were doing this,” you continue to laugh, looking over at Jungkook.

“We would have blamed you if he wasn’t surprised,” he says and you look offended at him. “What? You live with him, you could have left something lying around that would have given it away.”

“He’s at work more than he’s here. If anyone was going to ruin it, it would be someone there,” you defend yourself, even though you had nothing to defend.

He simply rolls his eyes at you, smile on his face as he shakes his head as if to say you are wrong. “I can promise you, none of us would have given the game away,” he says, and you note that he also works with Hoseok, does everyone in this room work with him? Are they all just as rich?

“Well, I can promise you that I would also not have given the game away,” you shoot back.

“I can see you two are getting on,” Hoseok interrupts. “Why are you even arguing over this? I didn’t find out so you are both good at keep secrets.”

“But I’m better though, right?” Jungkook says and you can’t help but laugh.

“Stop harassing my flatmate,” Hoseok gives Jungkook a small glare before putting his arm around your shoulders and pulling you off towards the kitchen.

Your heart rate picks up at the closeness, his skin lightly touching the skin of your neck, the contact causing the skin to heat up. As soon as you step into the kitchen his arm drops back to his side as he rounds the counter to where the drinks are, you instantly miss the contact.

“I just wanted to say thank you,” he says, his back to you as he pours out two drinks.

“You really don’t need to thank me. Your friends did most of the organising, buying the decorations and alcohol, and they set up most of it. They’ve already thanked me enough too,” you say.

“But I wanted to say thank you,” he says, turning around with two drinks in his hands.

“No worries,” you give him a small smile as he hands you one of the drinks. “This better not be as deadly as Jimins drinks. I don’t think I can cope with another hangover like last time.”

“No promises,” Hoseok laughs as he takes a sip.

Walking back into the living room where most people were, Hoseok gets dragged away by a girl you don’t recognise, he gives you an apologetic look over his shoulder as she takes him to a small group in the corner.

Looking around the room you take another sip of your drink as you walk to a corner no one was occupying. Feeling a bit lost in the room full of people you don’t know, not the sort of person to jump into a conversation with a group of people who all know each other, you opt for just trying to blend in. Deciding that you would try and just mull around for an hour before heading to your room. That would be enough time to not look rude, you reasoned.

Taking another sip of your drink you look around the party again, everyone stood in small clusters laughing and drinking. Your eyes finally landed on the birthday boy, his smile wide as a boy you don’t recognise tells an animated story. A small smile comes to your lips as you watch his head fall back on his neck, a laugh escaping his lips. Moving on, you continue to look around the rest of the room, noticing the boys that had come to help you set up the party scattered around the room with different groups, all seemingly having a good time.

A small sigh leaves your lips as you look down at your cup, watching the ice clink against the edge of your cup as you swirl its contents.

“You look a little lost,” a voice says from beside you and you look up to see Liv smiling beside you. “Come on, I’ll introduce to some people,” she says and takes your hand before you can say anything against the matter.

She drags you over to a group of four people, the only person you recognise is Jin. Liv introduces you as Hoseoks flatmate and then gives you the names of everyone else, you give them a small smile in return. They carry on the conversation that they had been having before you arrive and you stand listening, giving smiles and noises when appropriate. But mainly you stay silent, listening and sipping your drink, feeling slightly awkward.

When the conversation reached a certain lull, you turned to Liv and tell her you were going to get another drink. She told you to come back and find her when you were done and you smiled at how nice she was being.

Pouring out a drink, you take out your phone as you sip the contents, deciding to stay in the kitchen for a few minutes. As you had thought earlier, you think again how you wish you had asked if you could have invited Lily to the party. Deciding to send her a text instead, it simply read:

Wish you were here, this party sucks.

Which you felt slightly bad for saying as it was more you and the fact you struggled to socialise with strangers that was making it boring. Everyone else seemed to be having a great time.

Have a few more drinks and I’m sure it will liven up!

She replies and you smile at her reply. Alcohol would of course help you feel less awkward, but you also didn’t want to have to down loads of spirits to have a good time.

“Y/N,” you heard your name screamed, and you look up from your phone in the direction of the party. “Y/N,” the scream sounds out again, you make no attempt to move towards it, slightly confused as to why someone was shouting your name anyway. “There you are,” Jimin says as he appears in the door way, catching your eye. “Come on, we’re starting a game and I need you on my team,” he says as he walks towards you. “You were so good when we played last time,” he stands in front of you smiling.

“Oh,” is all you say in response.

“I’ve already hyped up how much I’m going to win, and I’m relying on you to achieve that,” he slightly pleads, before looking around the empty room you occupy. “Why you hiding out in here?”

Your cheeks flush at his words, eyes dropping to your cup. “Just getting a drink.”

“Well, you have one now,” he says gently, obviously realising that there was more to you hiding away from the party. “Hoseok wants you to play too,” he says as if that would make you want to play.

“Of course, I’ll play. But I don’t want to win if I’m going to be punished and have to drink again,” you say, and a big smile breaks out on his face, you would never have been rude enough to deny him and would have found to awkward to say no anyway. “I think last time was a fluke anyway, maybe the alcohol,” you say.

“You’ll just have to drink a bit more then,” he says, walking away, you following in suit.

“I think there was more to it than that,” you mumble.

“Yeah, skill,” he pauses when in the room so that you are stood next to him, a cheeky smile on his face as he places an arm around your shoulders.

Guiding you through the room, he takes you to a different group from earlier who were all sat around chatting on the sofa, a pack of playing cards lay in front of them. Hoseok was there next to the same girl that dragged him off from the start, Taehyung sat next to Jungkook and two other girls you hadn’t met.

“Got my partner,” Jimin announces loudly as he pulls you to sit by him in the empty seats, his arm still around you.

“Ahh, the winning partner I hear,” Jungkook says.

“I’ve just been saying that I think Jimins expectations are too high,” you say shyly as everyone's eyes are on you.

“You were the best last time,” Hoseok chimes in and you give him a small smile in thanks.

“If she can remember it,” Taehyung adds and your face heats at the memory as everyone Hoseok, Jimin and Taehyung give a small laugh at the memory. Jimin gives your shoulder a small squeeze in reassurance seeing your embarrassed look.

Turns out last time was not a fluke and though you joke that Jimin was sabotaging your team for being so rubbish, you ultimately win. Ice broken, and alcohol coursing through your system, you feel more comfortable at the party and start to actually enjoy yourself. Though you end up not really speaking to Hoseok, you talk to his friends and have the best time.

Staying up later that you thought, you actually start to see people leave. Clearing up and taking some of the dirty cups to the kitchen you try and make the flat look less like a bomb site.

As you clean the living room up a bit you think about how good a time you’d had. How nervous you were but everyone had made you feel at home, part of the group. You wish you’d spoken to Hoseok more, as he was the reason you were there, but it was his party with all his friends, there were obviously going to be people there he wanted to speak to more than you.

“Come on, we’ll clear all this up tomorrow,” Hoseok voice comes from behind you as you start to make a pile of glasses by the sink and you jump slightly, not hearing him enter the room.

“I just think if I do a bit now, it will save doing it tomorrow,” you continue to pile up the glasses.

“Just stop,” Hoseok says, his voice getting louder as he walks closer to you. “I’ll sort it out tomorrow.”

Continuing to ignore him, you instead start to fill the sink with water. Hoseoks hand grabs your wrist, stopping you from doing anything more, his other hand turning the tap off.

“I said, it’s fine,” his voice has dropped an octave, and it almost sends a shiver down your spine.

You turn around to face him, not expecting him to be stood so close.

“I just wanted to be helpful,” you look to the ground, unable to meet his eye as your heart beat picks up. “It is your birthday after all. You can’t be the one to clean up.”

“You’ve been more than helpful,” he says, his hand that was encompassing your wrist drops down so that he is now holding your hand. “Plus, I enjoy cleaning.”

“Is no one staying over tonight? No Jimin?” You ask, trying, but failing, to relieve the tension that has arisen in the room.

“No one,” he replies. “Just the two of us,” he says, and your face heats.

“Well, I had a great night. I hope you enjoyed it too,” you attempt again to ease the tension that has arisen in the room with a change in topic.

“I really loved it. Nice to see everyone. Sorry I didn’t get to talk to you more, I really wanted to but people kept pulling me away.”

“It’s fine, everyone wants to talk to the birthday boy,” you say. “Your friends were nice though, they made me feel really welcome and like I was part of the group.”

“They all loved you,” he says and you roll your eyes at him though the smile that comes to your face gives you away.

“Well, they were easy to get on with,” you say.

A silence comes over the room as you stare into each other's eyes. Hoseoks thumb slowly runs along the side of your hand as he continues to hold it. The tension in the room gets almost unbearable and you have to break it, unsure how it had built so high after just a short conversation.

“I have a present for you,” your voice sounds loud after the silence.

“You didn’t have to get me anything,” he says.

“It’s in my bedroom,” you say, taking your hand out of his as you walk towards your room, hoping he got the hint that you wanted him to follow you.

Reaching your room, you dig through the draw where you put the present. Finding it you turn around to see Hoseok leaning against the wall next to your door.

“Here you go,” you hand him the rectangular gift. A wide smile breaks out on his face, his big white teeth on show. “It’s nothing big,” you try to lower his expectations.

“I already love it,” he says, having not removed any wrapping paper.

“Well, open it before you make any assumptions,” you say, nerves taking over as you watch him rip open the gift.

As the paper gets taken off, a gold rimmed photo frame appears. A photo of seven smiling men within it.

“I asked Jimin for a photo,” you explain as his eyes light up at the gift. “So you can blame him if you don’t like it.” As the silence continues you start to worry that he is disappointed so you decide to fill the silence. “I just thought how you said you wanted more pictures around the flat, and this could be the start.”

“I love it,” he says as he finally looks up at you and you can’t describe the look in his eye. Reaching out he places the frame on top of the draws next to him. “I honestly love it.”

Hoseoks face almost impossibly lights up more when he sees a smile come to your face. Opening his arms up, he looks at you questioningly.

“Can I give you a thank you hug?” He asks.

Heat rising to your face, you step towards him in answer, getting just close enough for him to be able to take you in his arms. He takes a small step forward so that the tips of your toes are almost touching before wrapping his arms around you. Almost in shock at the contact, your arms remain by your side for half a second before you think that it would be weird if you didn’t hug him back.

Putting your arms around his waist you take in how your head fits perfectly into the crook of his neck. How your arms fit around his waist, whenever you had seen him, he wore loose clothing and you had never noticed how slim he was, not just that, but how toned he was. With your nose pressed to his shirt you smell the alcohol he had been drinking all night, but there was also the overwhelming smell of him, a masculine, earthy smell mixed with clean linen. His hand slowly runs up and down your back in a soothing motion and you can feel the faint whisps of air coming from his nose on top your head.

Unsure how long you stay like that, and feeling like you could stay in his arms forever, you finally pull away from his embrace. The smile is still plastered on Hoseoks face when you look at him, and neither of you make a move to step away from each other.

“Thanks,” he whispers again and you would have laughed if the tension wasn’t so harsh.

“It’s nothing,” you say just as quietly.

Before you can step away or saying anything else, you are pulled into another hug. This time he seems to step impossibly closer, his feet now either side of yours so that your chests are flush against one another. Your heart rate increases and you worry that he can feel it trying to escape your chest.

Hoseok pulls away just enough so that he can look into your eyes, but keeps his arms tight around you, chests still pressed against one another. Leaning down he places a kiss on your cheek, your face heating at the spot that his lips touch.

“I love it,” he says as he pulls away again so he can look into your eyes.

Unsure what to reply, words escaping you in that moment, you remain silent as you stare at him. He leans down again and kisses your other cheek and you are sure it’s the alcohol causing him to act this way.

“And thanks for the party,” he says.

“I- It- It was mainly your friends,” you manage to stutter out.

Hoseok simply hums at you as his eyes flicker between yours, and you don’t miss when they occasionally flick down to your lips. Time seems to slow in the moment, and in a way you’re are thankful, wanting to stay in this moment for as long as possible.

“Can I kiss you?” His voice is impossibly quiet but you catch every word.

Your head gives the smallest nod that you would have thought was invisible to the human eye, but Hoseok obviously notices as his head slowly moves towards yours.

As soon as his lips touch yours, you feel almost paralysed, your mind goes blank and it’s as if your body forgets how to work. But as his lips slowly move against yours, your mind suddenly speeds up and whirls into action. Your lips start to move in time with Hoseok and a small moan of approvement escapes his lips. As your hands move up to the nape of his neck, his move down to rest on your hips, squeezing and kneading you skin slightly. Pulling away you rest your foreheads together as slow pants come out of your lips.

“Please don’t say thank you,” you say and Hoseok gives a big laugh at the words, his head going to your shoulder as his body slightly shakes in your arms.

Once calmed down enough he brings his head back up to look at you and you feel the tension ease as the big smile remains on his face. His forehead is no longer resting on yours, but you still remain close, arms wrapped around each other.

“I should probably get to bed,” Hoseok says, though he doesn’t make a move to leave.

“Yeah, it is getting pretty late,” you say, though you also don’t move from your position.

Leaning down, Hoseoks lips encase yours and slowly move in a steady rhythm. The kiss is less desperate and heated as the one that happened moments ago, and it is shorter, your lips separating after hardly anytime. Brushing a piece of hair behind your ear, Hoseok finally step away from you.

“I guess I’ll see you tomorrow,” he says, a wide smile on his face as he slowly backs towards the door.

“I’ll be in the kitchen cleaning all those glasses,” you joke.

“Don’t do them all without me,” Hoseok warns you. Giving you one last glance, he turns and heads to his own room.

Lying in the bed that night, you aren’t sure whether it’s the alcohol coursing through your veins or the lingering feeling of Hoseoks lips on yours that causes you to stay awake for what feels like hours.

It’s the next day, when the sink is full of hot water ready for you wash up, that you next see Hoseok. Hearing his door open and close, you turn to look as he walks through the kitchen door. You have to stop the coo that almost leaves your lips at the sight of him. Striped, long, soft, pyjamas don his body, the crotch low making his legs look small. His hair looks fluffy and soft as he has obviously just rolled out of bed, a brush not having gone through it yet. His eyes are small and slightly puffy from sleep. A small yawn leaves his lips and his hands rub his tired eyes as he steps into the room.

“Morning,” you say semi cheerfully as you turn back to the sink, rolling up your sleeves as you take the first item to wash.

“I’m here to help,” his morning voice is raspy and you wish you had a recording of it so you could listen to it over and over.

“I was serious when I said I’m fine doing it alone,” you say, concentration still on the dishes as you feel him come and stand next to you. He picks up the wet glass you had just washed and dries it before putting it away.

“And I was serious when I said I wanted to help,” he says as you hand him another glass to dry. “I actually enjoy cleaning and clearing up. Is that weird?”

“It can be therapeutic,” you agree.

“I just like things clean,” he says and you give a small chuckle.

“I mean Rosie did say I would have to keep the flat clean when I first spoke to her,” you say. “She made it sound more like it was an advert for a cleaning job than for a spare room,” you exaggerate, teasing him.

“I’ve just said I like to clean,” his voice comes out slightly whiney, and when you look at him there is a small pout on his lips, though you can tell he is teasing.

“Then why did you make it sound like a weird cleaning job?” You laugh.

“That wasn’t my idea,” he holds the hand up that hasn’t got a glass in it, finger pointed, eyebrows raised. “But I do like a tidy house, so I agreed to it.”

“Guess you don’t want any messy weirdo,” you continue to laugh as you pass him another glass to dry.

“Unlucky I got you then, hey,” he says and manages to dodge the small splash of water that you aim at him.

“Didn’t seem like you felt that way last night,” the words slip out of your mouth before you even think, and as your mind catches up to what you have said your face heats. The room falls silent and you’re glad that your focus is on the sink, Hoseok unable to see the shock written all over your face.

“I guess you’ve grown on me,” he says after the seconds silence. “You did offer to clean up after the party.”

“Oh,” you say in a mock shocked voice as you turn to look at him. “So is that your thing?” You ask as you look on his face. “Cleaning turns you on?” You clarify and you are unsure where your confidence has come from.

A slight pink tints his cheeks and your smile grows at the fact that you had caused that. Your confidence growing in the process.

“If that was my thing, I would have done more than just kiss you,” and with those few words your confidence is crushed. Your head whips back to look at the bubbles in the sink, face hot as you avoid his eye contact.

Hearing his steps coming back to stand next to you, ready for another glass, you glance at him long enough to hand him the one you had just washed, seeing the wide, almost proud smile on his face you go back to looking at the sink.

“So when we’ve finished washing these, fancy tackling the living room?” You don’t give him time to answer before continuing. “I have a feeling there are going to be crumbs everywhere, and I think I saw Jin smashing some cake in Jungkooks face at one point, so I expect there will be icing everywhere too.”

“I’m fine to do that alone. Surely you have better things to do today?” You roll your eyes at his words, though you are secretly glad that he had allowed the conversation to move on from the kiss.

“We’ve been over this,” you sigh. “If we just do it together, it will be done quicker.”

“OK, and then can we watch something and eat lots of food after?” He asks in an almost pouty voice and you laugh but agree.

As predicted the living room was full of crumbs, bits of cake, and some more dishes that you hadn’t taken to the sink earlier. But working together it took no time for the flat to be back to its normal self. For once the two of you didn’t order in food, instead you quickly whipped up some food, saying that it would make the both of you feel better to eat something fresh.

Bringing the food into the living room Hoseok was already lay on the sofa flicking through film options on the TV.

“So I’m thinking either, 10 things I hate about you, or 13 going on 30?” Hoseok says as you hand him a plate and flop down next to him.

“You really love chick flicks don’t you,” you give a small chuckle as you look at him.

“I just love the romance, the happy endings, the kissing,” he teases, wiggling his eyes at you as you roll your eyes, looking back at the TV to hide your embarrassment.

“Just play 10 things I hate about you,” you sigh, shoving some food in your mouth as Hoseok presses play.

Throughout the film you find yourself drifting in and out of sleep. 10 things I hate about you turns into 13 going on 30, which turns into Notting Hill. By this point you feel more awake and you are both sat up watching the film, Hoseok had gone and got snacks at some point so you were both munching on those.

“I’d love to own a bookstore,” you say through a mouthful of popcorn as the film shows a young Hugh Grant stood in his bookstore.

“You love that snug so much it doesn’t surprise me,” Hoseok replies.

“And then imagine some famous walking in,” you sigh dreamily. “And I mean someone as famous as her, she’s supposed to be one of the most famous people ever in this film. I think I’d freeze if that happened to me.”

Hoseok chuckles to himself as you speak, not saying anything as you ramble on about the film.

“But he just invites her back to his flat? I mean he has just spilt juice all over her, but still, I think I’d run away mortified,” you say.

“Really?” You can’t quite decipher the tone of Hoseoks voice, and when you turn to look at him you see an almost smug, knowing look on his face.

“Yeah,” you say, though less sure of yourself now that you are looking at him. “Wouldn’t you?”

At that Hoseok turns back to look at the TV, the smug smile still on his face. “Depends who it was I guess.”

“Someone really famous, that everyone knows,” you say.

“Go on name someone,” he turns back to you, eyebrows raised in question awaiting your answer.

You give a small hum as you think. “I’m not the best with famous people,” you say and another chuckle leaves Hoseoks lips. “I don’t know. Leonardo DiCaprio? Hugh Grant?” You say pointing at the man on the screen.

“Well they may not have the same desired effect on me, as they would have on you,” he says a smile on his face as your cheeks warm. “But sure, maybe I’d panic a bit. I think I’d probably have more of a desire to talk to them though, ask them about their careers, their lives.”

“And that is where we have a major difference in views,” you say. “I could never talk to someone like that.”

“But they’re just people?” Hoseok says.

“Of course. They’re just completely different people to me,” you say. “They probably wouldn’t be interested in talking to me anyway. I’m sure they have loads of people go and say how much they love them, ask them the same questions over and over, the last thing they would want is me going over.”

“True,” Hoseok says. “But I am also sure that they would enjoy hearing it. It must be nice to hear that people like what you are doing. But like you said, not if there's hundreds of people doing the same thing.”

“Must be weird,” you say.

“What?” He asks.

“To have everyone know who you are. Everything you do scrutinised. I mean look, she can’t even go into this guys flat without everyone swarming on the place,” you say, the TV showing Hugh and Julia hiding out in his flat with press outside the door.

Hoseok simply hums in response, eyes on the TV.

“I don’t think it’s a life I’d want,” you say and Hoseok turns to look at you, an almost sadness in his eyes.

“Even if it was a consequence of doing something you love?”

“I’m not sure there would be anything worth it,” you say. “To have your life completely invaded. I don’t know.”

Hoseok simply nods his head as if understanding, but the sadness remains in his eyes and you are unsure why.

“But I can see why people do it,” you say, trying to lighten the weirdly sad mood that had fallen over the room. “Notting Hill is pretty. I bet it costs a lot more to live there now than it did when this was filmed,” you decide to change the topic of conversation.

“Yeah, I like all the brightly coloured houses,” he agrees with you.

“Have you ever been?”

“I’ve been to London, but it was a business trip so I didn’t really get to go around everywhere I’d like to,” he says. “You ever been?”

“No, but I’d love to. It always looks so pretty in films. I think I’d rather go there than New York,” you say.

“Really? I feel like most people would say the opposite,” he says.

“Yeah, but I feel like there are more places in England I would want to visit. America is so big you would just do New York and then have to do LA or somewhere else another trip,” you reason.

“I guess,” Hoseok shrugs. “You should just go if you want to.”

“I will one day, I just need to save up enough money and save up some holiday from work first,” you say, Hoseok nodding. “And find someone who would want to come with me,” you chuckle.

“You wouldn’t go alone?”

“Maybe, but isn’t it funer to experience these things with people?”

“Yeah, I guess it’s nice to have the memories with someone,” he agrees. “Well if you ever need a travelling buddy, I’d come with you.”

You weren’t expecting him to say that and he can tell by the way your eyebrows shoot up your forehead, you mouth popping open in surprise. “Really?” You question.

“Why not?” He laughs at your reaction.

“Not too busy?” You ask.

“I’d have to fit it around my schedule, but if you’re waiting to build up money and holiday anyway, then I don’t see why it wouldn’t work.”

You think about what he was saying. You still feel like you don’t really know much about Hoseok, yet here he was offering to go on holiday with you as if you were best friends. But part of you wanted to take him up on the offer, wanted to travel the world with the man, wanted to have memories of him in places around that you dreamed of visiting.

“Alright, deal,” you say smiling at him, getting a big beaming smile in return.

As much as you wanted to travel with the man, you honestly had no thought that it would actually ever happen. He was far too busy. He was probably saying it to make you feel like you had someone to go with, to be nice. Because that was what Hoseok was, nice. But you could at least pretend that the offer was real, that maybe one day you would travel with him. So that’s why you agreed, to let part of you hold that small fantasy.

The rest of the day was spent watching more films with Hoseok, falling into easy with him, growing ever closer to him. You almost didn’t want the day to end, enjoying the rare time you got to actually talk to him in person. But eventually you both went your rooms in your separate rooms.

Life went back to its more normal routine after that. Or what you had grown to see as normal anyway. Back at work, only being able to talk to Hoseok through post-it notes and texts, hearing him come home late at night, you leaving for work before he was up for the day. In a weird way you missed him, though you were still speaking to him all the time you wished you could see him in person, even if it was just a passing hi in the hallway.

You hung out with Lily and Eddie, hung out with people from work, went out shopping and to coffee shops on your own, but it never felt the same as just sitting on the sofa with Hoseok. You wanted to text him to ask when he would next be off work so that you could do it again, but you always chickened out when going to send the text.

The answer to your unasked question came after a few weeks. Sat watching something in the living room on a weekend you had assumed that Hoseok was either away or had left before you had awoken that day. But he walked into the room in his usual long pyjamas and ruffled hair and you couldn’t help the shocked expression that came to your face. He didn’t notice though as his eyes were almost squinted shut.

Flopping down onto the sofa, his head lay almost touching your lap and you could see how red his nose was from blowing it so frequently, his eyes puffy.

“You OK?” You speak for the first time and try to refrain from running your hand through his already ruffled hair.

“Just got a bit of a cold,” his voice is gravely and you didn’t think the sound would affect you as much as it did, it reminding you of his voice after his birthday when he had just woken up.

“Need me to get you anything? Water, paracetamol, soup?” You list some options, already preparing to stand up.

“No,” he whines slightly, his hand reaching above his head and tapping around in search of your leg, his eyes still closed. “I just want you to stay here,” he says as his hand rests against your leg and the spot warms at the contact.

“I’ll be back in a second, I’m just going to get you a drink,” you ignore his whines as you stand up, his arm flopping down to the floor.

It takes you hardly any time to get some water for him, coming back in to find him in the same position. Placing the glass on the table in front of him you take your original seat, though a bit further away from him this time.

His hand comes up from the floor though and repeats the same action as before, blindly searching for you and you watch as he can’t quite reach you. Raising his head and opening his eyes to squint at you a pout forms on his lips as he sees you’ve moved away from him.

“Come here,” he says, patting the place you earlier occupied.

Heat raises to your face as you shuffle closer to him. Once close enough he looks up into your eyes, a small smile on his face as he makes his whole-body shuffle closer to you, his head now in the perfect position to rest on your legs.

You stiffen at the contact, while Hoseok hums out lowly, making himself comfy. Looking down at him you can just make out that his eyes are closed as his head faces the TV. After a few minutes and coming to the conclusion that the man is going nowhere you start to relax slightly. Looking down at him again you finally decide to do what you’d be wanting to do since he lay down on the sofa. Picking your hand up you gently run your hand through his hair, nails running gently along his scalp. A satisfied hum leaves Hoseoks mouth at the feeling and he shuffles impossibly closer to you.

“That feels nice,” his croaky voice sounds out.

“Maybe you should take some paracetamol,” you say.

A groan leaves his lips showing how much he opposes the idea. “I took some earlier,” he says. “It’s just a cold, I’ve probably just over worked myself a bit, I’ll be fine by the end of the day. I just want to lie here for a bit.”

“How long ago?” The strokes of his hair never ceasing as you both speak. “You should try and take your full dose if you want to feel better.”

“Alright mum,” he whines, sitting up he reaches out and takes the glass of water you had placed on the table. As you shuffle to the end of the sofa ready to go get him some pills a hand comes out to stop you. “I’ve got it,” he says before standing up and heading to the kitchen.

“You looked after me when I was ill, why can’t I repay the favour?” You ask when he re-enters the room, paracetamol in hand.

“You can,” he says and he comes back to his earlier position. “The hair stroking was making me feel much better,” he looks up at you, head on your lap, smile on his face.

Smiling down at him you go back to trailing your hand through his hair and he twists back to look at the TV, though he closes his eyes. It doesn’t take long for him to fall asleep in your lap, but you continue to run fingers along his scalp, secretly loving the feeling yourself.

You could easily have slipped Hoseok from your lap, could easily escaped from under him. You had planned on doing some stuff around the flat that day, your sheets needed to be changed for one, and you need to go pick up some food from the shops. But as he lay in your lap, you couldn’t help but stare at his pristine face, taking in all his features. And the last thing you wanted to do in that moment was move away from him. So you sat watching the TV for nearly an hour before Hoseok started to stir.

“Good sleep?” You spoke softly when he seemed to be fully awake.

“How long have I been out?” He asks, rubbing his eyes and sitting up.

“About an hour. Looks like you needed it,” you say.

“An hour? You didn’t have to stay,” he replies, stretching his arms out in a stretch as a yawn escapes his lips.

“I didn’t mind,” you half mumble. “You must be hungry though. I need to go pick up some food from the shop anyway, so do you want me to get anything for you?”

“I’ll come with you,” he says, legs being pulled out and dropping down so that his feet hit the floor.

“I’m going anyway,” you repeat your statement.

“Anyone would think you don’t want to be seen with me in public,” he says, looking down at you from his standing position.

“It’s just, you’re obviously not well I don’t want you to get more ill,” you say.

“I feel way better, like I said earlier, I get these colds all the time when I’ve had a heavy work schedule and they normally go by the end of the day. That nap has sorted me right out,” he gives you a wide smile as if to try and convince you, but you can both tell that it nor his words have made you any less concerned for his health. “The fresh air will do me good?” It comes out as a question as he continues to try and persuade you to let him go.

“Well there's no way I can stop you,” you sigh, but a small chuckle leaves your lips as Hoseok jumps in celebration.

“Let me just change, I’ll be 5 minutes,” he shouts as he runs out the room.

As you sit waiting for him you can’t help but smile. You couldn’t explain what it was about him but he made you feel like no one had ever done before. Maybe it was the way his smile seemed to brighten the room, maybe how his personality was always happy even on a day like today when he was obviously not feeling 100% he could still make you smile, maybe the fact that you felt like you could have a real conversation with him, joke with him, tell him things without feeling like he would judge you. You still felt like you hardly knew the man, yet you constantly wanted to be around him, would miss when he wasn’t in the flat, your heart would skip a beat when you saw a text arrive from him.

Maybe it was just the fact that he was your flatmate. That you share so much with someone you live with. That even if he was hardly here, you saw a different side to someone when you lived with them. Maybe you would have felt this way towards anyone you lived with. After all you were very fond of Lily, and by extension Eddie, who you had lived with, granted you had been friends with Lily before living with her, but living with her had caused your friendship to grow even closer.

It took the promised 5 minutes for Hoseok to come back into the room, as promised. Snapping out of your thoughts you looked up to see him wearing some baggy black trousers, a big white top tucked into the front showing off his skinny waist. He held a hat and mask in his hand as he smiled at you.

“Ready?” He asked.

Standing up you give him a smile and a small nod as you walk towards him. He makes a small gap so you can get past him to the front door.

“You looked deep in thought,” he says and though it’s not a question you know he is expecting an answer.

Face heating you shrug as you put your shoes on and pick up your bag. “Just thinking about what I need to buy,” you say, turning to look at him as you stand ready to go. “Do you not want a jacket?”

“It’s warm enough to not need one,” he says.

“But you’re not well. You don’t want to make yourself more ill,” you scold him.

He simply rolls his eyes, walking towards you he opens the door and puts a hand on your back giving you a small push so that you walk through the door. “I’ll be fine,” he says as he follows you out. “Like I said, I already feel worlds better.”

Riding the elevator down Hoseok puts his mask and hat on, obscuring his face but you can still see when his eyes squint in happiness and hear his voice when he talks to you. Saying a thank you to Keith as he opens the door for you both, you realise that this is the first time you have been with Hoseok outside of the flat. It felt kind of weird to be with him outside, almost unnatural.

Walking beside Hoseok though you fall into easy conversation with him, forgetting any worries altogether. Going round the shop Hoseok mainly trails behind you, commenting on a few items that you put in your basket, asking if you can add some other items, which you gladly do. It felt normal, not that you had really expected anything else, but the whole thing struck you as nice and it made you feel more and more like you wanted to hang out with the man.

As expected Hoseok tried to pay for the food, but you refused saying that most of the items were for you anyway. As he had paid for 2 takeaways and hadn’t let you pay him back in the end was enough for him to roll his eyes and put his wallet away. Though when it came to carrying the bag of groceries home, he would not take no as an answer.

Back in the flat you seem to fall into an almost rehearsed routine of putting the food away, both ebbing and flowing to the get fridge and cupboards needed.

“So what we cooking?” You ask when everything's away.

Turning you see Hoseok leaning against the island looking at you, no words spoke.

“What?” You ask, wondering if you had something on your face the way he was looking at you.

“Nothing,” he says with a small smirk on his face and when you continue to look at him confused he carries on. “It’s just being in here reminds me of the party. Of when we kissed.”

Face instantly heats at his words. Sure you had inadvertently spoken about it for all of 2 minutes the morning after, otherwise it was some unspoken topic that you assumed Hoseok wanted to forget.

“Oh,” you say turning away from him to busy yourself with something.

“Do you not think about it too?" He says and you can hear his voice getting closer.

“It crosses my mind,” you lie, back still to him, because honestly there isn’t a day when you don’t think about his lips on yours.

“I can’t get it out of my head,” he agrees with the thoughts swimming in your mind.

His voice is so close that it shouldn’t be a surprise when you turn and he is stood almost on top of you. Craning your neck you look up at him.

“Really?” You say unsure if he was lying, though you can’t think why he would.

His hand comes out and rests on your face, thumb slowly brushing your cheek.

“Yeah,” he says softly as his head starts to lean towards you.

Head spinning, a million thoughts run through your mind and yet the words that escape your mouth are, “you’re ill.”

A small laugh sounds out, lips curve up into a smile. “I told you I feel fine,” he says, but then slowly starts to back away. “But if you’re worried you’ll catch something.”

Panic is the only thing that crosses your mind as you watch him retreat. Cursing yourself for saying anything in the first place, you raise your hand so that it’s on top of the one on your face.

“I’ll risk it,” you say.

A brighter smile takes over his face before he comes in again. Faster this time there is no time before his lips are connected with yours.

The kiss starts of gentle, lips moulding together in synchronised movement. But as soon as you feel his tongue swipe at your lips and then the feeling of his tongue in your mouth, the kiss turns more heated. Hoseok gently pushes you back until you feel the kitchen island behind you. Hips push into yours and you can’t help but feel his growing excitement, a groan escapes your lips at the realisation and you can’t help but push your hips forward to gain some more friction.

Panting Hoseok parts from you long enough to say “bedroom?”

You nod at him. His hands come down to your thighs and you jump up so that he can carry you to his room. Lips attached to one another you hardly notice when you enter his room, only conscious when he drops you down onto his bed. It’s only then that you think about the fact you have never seen his room, but all thoughts of this are ripped from your mind as Hoseok strips himself of his top. Standing above you in nothing but his trousers you can’t help as your eyes travel down his toned torso.

A small chuckle leaves his lips as he watches you, crawling up your body so that his face is level with yours he asks, “like what you see?”

Your answer comes as you grab the back of his neck, pulling him down to connect your lips again.

Frantic is the word you would describe the action of you and Hoseok stripping each other of your clothes. Down to just your underwear you almost gasp when you feel his fingers gently slide up the inside of your thigh, stopping just where you want him.

“Are you sure?” He asks and your heart grows at how sweet he is even in this moment.

“Yes,” is all you have to say before you pulls your pants down your legs before bringing his fingers to your clit. Moaning as beings to move, one hand on your thigh keeping your legs open. When your feel a finger enter you, your head lulls back into the pillow, a loud groan escaping you as he continues his assault.

“Hoseok,” you moan and he adds another finger, continuing his torture. “Hoseok, please,” you try again to get his attention.

“What is it love?” He says and all you can think is how wrong you were when you thought his morning voice was sexy, because surely this was really what you wanted to hear all the time.

Your mind goes blank at the sound and the feeling of him between your legs. After a second to regain yourself you try again, “Hoseok, please I need you.”

His fingers slow at your request, clearly flustered. The feeling of his fingers leaving you makes you whelp, missing the feeling instantly. But Hoseok crawls up your body, lips kissing every inch that he comes into contact with as he goes. Finally face to face he gives you a small kiss he looks you in the eye.

“You’re sure?” He asks.

“Yes,” you say again and watch as his eyes brighten.

He pulls away from you to reach to his nightstand, coming back with a foil packet in his hand. Pulling his pants down you watch as he rolls the condom down his erection, giving it a few strokes before looking back at you.

His lips attach back to yours, tongue easily slipping into your mouth. Groaning at the feel of his tip slowly caressing your folds. His lips only separate from yours when he sinks into you, a few pants leave his lips as he bottoms out. He stays like that for a few seconds, obviously trying to gather himself, but when he starts to moving your hips against him he starts to thrust in you.

It’s slow and sensual and you would almost describe it as making love. Lips messy as they move against each other, separating every so often only to be attached to another part, neck, chest, shoulder, anything you can get contact with.

He seems to hit every nerve within you and it doesn’t take you long to start to reach your high. As you are pushed over the edge, Hoseoks hips speedy slightly into a sloppy rhythm as he chases his own high which follows closely behind yours.

Collapsing onto of you, you kiss his shoulder as he remains inside of you panting lightly. Pushing onto his elbows he looks down at you.

“I should have done that sooner,” he admits and you smile up at him.

“You’ve been busy,” you try to give him an excuse.

“I could have made time,” he smirks.

Pulling out of you, you instantly miss the feeling. But Hoseok rolls next to you, pulling you into his chest, his arms encompassing you.

“Stay here tonight?” He whispers into your ear.

“It is quite far for me to get home,” you joke and he kisses your temple with a laugh.

“Would hate anything to happen to you between here and your room,” he plays along.

You swivel to get into a more comfortable position, your head now on his chest as his hand runs up and down your arm. Feeling sleep take over you can’t help but feel happy. You hadn’t had anything like this in so long and yet this seemed to feel natural, nice. Sleep finally takes you over and you feel like you have never slept better than you do wrapped in Hoseoks arms.

You and Hoseok fell into a weird but almost natural relationship after that. Some nights when he came home you would end up making out on the sofa, TV on but ignored in the background. Sometimes things would progress and he would pick you up, lips still attached to his as your legs wrap around his waist, while he carries you to his room. Not sure if you would call it making love, not like the first time you did it, but not far off. You would spend as many nights together as possible, mainly opting to stay in his room.

Sometimes you would wake up to an empty bed, but your favourite mornings were when you would wake up and find him still asleep next to you. You would trace patterns on his bare chest, watching as it rose and feel in a steady rhythm. You felt at peace, happy, and almost like you were falling in love with the man.

But you were living in an almost bubble, and that bubble abruptly popped one Sunday morning when you woke up all alone in bed. Not thinking anything of it, you went about your normal routine, getting some breakfast and a drink before heading to the living room. Switching on the TV though, you stopped mid chew as you watched the TV that had been left on some gossip channel.

Pictures of you were plastered over the screen, walking out the building you lived in, some of you carrying birthday balloons and decorations from a week or so ago. As these disappeared new photos of Jimin and the boys appeared, all dressed in the outfits they had been wearing for the party. And lastly one of Hoseok walking into the building, the words J-Hopes birthday celebrations the only thing you manage to pick up on in your confusion.

Focusing more on what the news reader was saying you hear her talking about a boyband you’d heard of called BTS. Questioning whether the girl in the pictures was J-Hopes new girlfriend as they had been seen entering the building where he lives all the time, most recently to decorate for his birthday. Some sources had confirmed that she lived there, though they didn’t say what sources they were.

The girl they were talking about, you realised, was you. Your mind seemed to be working slowly, trying to piece together a puzzle that seemed easy but was proving to be difficult, or maybe it you were purposefully not putting the pieces together correctly. Taking your phone out of your pocket you decide to google the most logical thing, BTS. Photos and news stories pop up showing the 6 boys you had met just a few days ago as well as the boy you lived with. Many of the latest new stories seemed to be following a similar theme to what you had just watched on the TV, speculating as to whether you were J-Hopes new girlfriend.

Making the mistake of skimming a few stories you reach the comments section and your stomach nearly flips at what you read. Comments about how you weren’t pretty enough to be dating Hoseok, how you must just be a cleaner or employed to help set up for his party, people saying you didn’t deserve to be dating him.

You have to close the search engine and instead head over to Instagram. This didn’t prove to be much better. Your account was set to private but overnight you had gained hundreds of new follow requests. Skimming through them you realised you didn’t know any of them, 90% seemed to be BTS fan pages. Again messages had been sent to your Instagram page from people saying that you didn’t deserve Hoseok and that he was too good for you, that you weren’t pretty and he would never be interested in you. There were a few nice comments but you seemed to be blind to them.

Still in shock, toast forgotten, you decide to put your phone down as tears start to well in your eyes. How could you have been so stupid to think he was a normal person? You knew that he was someone and yet you chose to ignore it. You should have googled him and then none of this would have come as a surprise.

What hurt the most though was that he didn’t bring it up. There had been plenty of times when he could have told you. Did he not trust you enough? Did he think you would go to the magazines and sell some sort of story about him? Maybe he didn’t know you as well as you thought, you certainly didn’t know him as well as you thought. Thinking back to all the time you had spent with him, all the times you spoken to him, kissed him, slept with him. Was that all it was to him, because to you it was more than just sex.

You remember the time you watched films together. How you had watched Notting Hill and how you had discussed what it would be like to run into a celebrity. He had laughed at you, you didn’t really think much about it at the time, but now you realised he was laughing at you. Laughing at the fact that you were living with a celebrity that seemingly everyone knew. Laughing at the fact the night before you had been at a party full of famous people and you hadn’t even noticed. If there was any moment that he could have told you it was surely then. But he didn’t tell you, merely mocked you almost behind your back. You could almost imagine everyone from the party laughing at you behind your back, at how stupid you looked, how naive you were.

You feel embarrassment wash over you at the thoughts, when something flashes up on the screen. A letter with the header BigHit, the news reader reads out the statement that had been released just minutes ago from the company Hoseok works for. It denies that you two are dating, which is true to an extent. They say that you are just friends, that is all, nothing more. You lived in the same building and that’s how you had met, which again was true to an extent. They seemed to emphasis throughout that the two of you were just friends, nothing more, and nothing more will ever happen.

The statement was the last straw for you. Hearing it read out to you in such a plain way made the tears that were welling in your eyes escape, rolling down your cheeks. Without thinking you pick up your phone and call the one person you feel you can speak to.

“Lily?” You question even though you know it’s her.

“What’s wrong?” You hear the worry thick in her voice as it’s obvious you are crying.

“Can I move back in?” You ask. “Just until I find somewhere else to live.”

“What’s happened? Why do you want to move out? Nothing bad has happened has it, you’re not hurt or anything?” Lily questions, her mind going to all the worst possible scenarios.

“No, I’m fine. I just don’t think I can live here anymore,” you continue to cry.

“Of course you can move back in,” she says, slight relief in her voice, though you can hear she is still worried about what would have happened for you to want to move out.

“Thanks,” you say. “I’ll explain everything when I see you. I think I’m going to pack up and head over now.”

“Ok,” Lily’s voice is full of confusion, but she doesn’t deny you moving back. “Do you need me to come and help?”

“No, it’s fine. I won’t be long. I’ll text you when I’m on my way,” you say before hanging up, a fresh wave of tears escaping your eyes as you look around the room.

Looking at your phone the main thing you notice is the fact that there are no new messages. No contact from Hoseok. None from any of the other boys. He must really not care about you, you think as you stand and start to pack up all the belongings you could carry. You’d get a taxi to help.

Looking around your room one last time, it feels weird leaving it bare, used to the bright colours it normally held. It looked so much bigger without all your belongs, even though you didn’t have much stuff, and you were leaving some of it behind, the room looked sad and empty.

Knocking on the door, you hardly see Lily through your teary eyes when she opens the door. You aren’t even sure it was Lily, it could have been Eddie. But you know it’s her when you are pulled into a tight hug and hear Lily asking what the matter is. Instead of answering her verbally you drop the bags that are in your hands and hug her just as tightly.

It takes a while for you to calm down enough to explain what has got you into that state. Eddie having to help Lily calm you, making you a tea and grabbing tissues while Lily just continues to hug you. You are such a reck that you have to make sure that they know that nothing serious had happened to you.

“I’m over reacting I know,” you sniffle when you finish telling them what happened.

“Not over reacting. I’m more upset you didn’t tell us sooner,” Lily says, and you shoot her a tear-filled glare.

“I don’t think this is the time for jokes,” Eddie says.

“Ok, too soon, sorry,” Lily says. “But no, you’re really not over reacting. He should have told you sooner. He shouldn’t have kept you in the dark about who he was. He shouldn’t have used your naivety in his favour. And he should have at least messaged you by now to check how you are, if his company has released a statement then he will know what’s happened. If I was you, I would have been just as upset, just as pissed off.”

“But I was naïve wasn’t I?” You say. “I knew he was someone. Even if I didn’t know who he was I could easily have googled it, but I thought I was respecting his privacy. But maybe he wanted me to google him and save him the job, maybe he assumed I knew who he was. Maybe he just didn’t care.”

“Even if he assumed you knew, he should have spoken to you about it,” Lily talks firmly, as if it will help to get her words into your head. “He shouldn’t have let you go through that in the dark and alone.”

A few more tears escape your eyes as she speaks, a mixture of her words hitting true and also remembering all the things that had happened. You didn’t want to feel this way towards Hoseok, you genuinely started to like the man and yet he did this to you. You wanted to believe the best in Hoseok, wanted to believe that he wouldn’t hurt you, wanted to believe that he cared for you as much as you cared for him. But how could you believe any of that when he had done everything he had done.

“Come on, we’ll get some trash food and watch a trash film and sleep in here tonight,” Lily says when she sees the fresh wave of tears your eyes.

You look at her and nod your head at her idea, silent tears still streaming down your face. No matter how much she jokes at inappropriate times, Lily did always come through in the end.

You moped around the flat for a while, ignoring your phone and the outside world. Only turning up for work, and even then you wouldn’t really talk to any colleagues unless you had to. You essentially became a hermit, drawing in to yourself. Even Lily struggled to get in contact with you, and she lived in the same flat as you.

You didn’t want to go outside, almost in fear of some sort of repeat of what had happened, so you would stay inside when you could. You knew Lily worried about you, always being extra happy when she saw you, asking about your day, telling you funny things that had happened. And you pretended as best you could to be OK around her, but you knew she wasn’t buying it.

A couple of weeks after the incident you find yourself in the flat alone. In your pyjamas, hair in a messy bun on top of your head, you decide to not go to the door when you hear someone knock. The knocking become more insistent, getting louder the more you ignore it so you decide to see who it is.

Jimin looks slightly taken aback when you open the door, clearly shocked by your unkept appearance. He quickly makes his face neutral though, making it seem like he wasn’t shocked in the first place.

“Hi,” he says sheepishly.

“What the hell are you doing here Jimin?” You say, your voice flat.

“A warm welcome. Not going to invite me in?”

You roll your eyes at him, deciding to remain silent.

“Ok, sorry, I know you’re annoyed at me but I’ll just be a minute,” he says. “Please,” he pleads.

You take a small step to the side, enough so that he can walk past you, which he does quickly in case you change your mind. When he is past you he spins on his heels so he is looking at you and it’s the first time that you see how worried and stressed he is.

“You need to talk to Hobi,” he says.

“I’m barely talking to you, why would I want to talk to him,” you walk past him to the living room.

“Because if you think you look like shit, he looks ten times worse,” he says as he follows you.

“Thanks,” you say sarcastically, knowing you looked like shit, but didn’t need him to confirm it.

“Have you really not seen anything?” He takes a seat on your sofa, not awaiting an invitation, though you wouldn’t have provided one.

“Why would I?” You say.

A sigh leaves Jimins mouth and a hand comes up to run over his face.

“Jesus,” he says. “You really just need to talk to Hobi. He’s been trying to contact you and you haven’t replied. We’ve all been trying to get hold of you.”

“That’s because I don’t want to talk to him. I don’t really want to talk to any of you.”

“Don’t you want to hear what he has to say? He is so sorry and I know that he just wants to -”

“I honestly don’t care,” you cut him off.

“You can’t think I believe that,” he rolls his eyes at you. “You look like shit, and you can’t tell me that has nothing to do with Hobi.”

“Yeah, I already thanked you for that,” you say.

“Just come to the flat with me,” he continues.

“I’m not interested Jimin.”

“When will you be ready? You can’t run from this forever. You need to talk to him at some point.”

“Do I? I don’t think I ever need to see him again if I don’t want to.”

“OK. Yeah, you’re right,” Jimin nods his head as he speaks. “You never have to see him, talk to him, be near him again. But is that really what you want?” He pauses as if wanting a response, which you don’t provide. “He’s sorry. For everything. He doesn’t want your forgiveness, he just wants to explain.”

“He doesn’t want my forgiveness?” You almost laugh. “Then what does he want? He wants to speak to me, to ‘explain’ everything, but he doesn’t want my forgiveness? He wants to ease his conscious, is that it? If he can just talk to me and ‘explain’ everything then he’ll feel like he’s done the right thing and then he’ll feel better about it all and can move on with his life. Is that it?”

“You know that’s not what I meant,” Jimin sighs at how you have twisted his words. “It will just explain everything.”

“Explain what?”

“Just talk to Hobi,” Jimin stands up as he says the words and you are surprised that he doesn’t want to stay longer to convince you. But he can tell that no matter what he says in this moment you wouldn’t really listen to what he was saying, only hearing what you wanted to hear.

“I really don’t want to talk to him,” you say, tears starting to gather in your eyes, a sudden wave of emotion washing over you.

Jimin looks down at you and he starts to walk toward you, obviously wanting to hug you or comfort you in some way, but stops when you hold out a hand in his direction.

“Please,” it’s now your turn to plead. “I feel like I’ve been through so much shit. And maybe you think I’ve run away from everything, but if I had stayed everything would have escalated. I don’t know what Hoseok has told you, but if he has told you everything then I would hope you would at least be able to see where I am coming from.”

“He told me everything,” Jimins voice comes out softer and quiet. Looking up at him you can see the concern written over his face and you have to look away when you feel the tears well in your eyes. “But I also don’t think you know everything.”

“Then tell me,” you say with defeated sigh.

“Talk to Hobi,” his voice is firm as he says the words for what feels like the hundredth time.

Fiddling with your fingers, picking at your nails, you avoid Jimins eyes as you think over his words. Maybe you were running from your problems. Maybe talking to Hoseok was the right thing to do. Maybe you needed to meet him and talk through everything. Maybe if you talk to him you might start to feel less crap and might actually get back to a semi normal life.

When you meet Jimins eyes now you see hope in place of concern.

“OK,” you say and have to rush your next words out when you see Jimin almost jump for joy. “But I’m not meeting him alone. I would ask to meet him in a public place, but I think that’s out of the question. So instead, I don’t want to see him alone.”

“OK, I understand,” Jimin, elongates the word showing he doesn’t fully understand but is going along with it as you have agreed to meet Hoseok. “How about meeting on neutral ground. Come to the offices after practice one day and we can go to the café in the building,” at your unsure expression he continues. “I’ll be there, you can ask Lily to come too. We’ll sit close by but it will also mean you can talk about everything without feeling like we’re all listening.”

Not quite neutral ground but you guess it’s the best you were going to get. It was almost like he had already planned the whole thing out, it all sounded too perfect for him to have come up with the idea on the spot.

“OK,” you agree, because although you still had doubts, and although you really didn’t want to meet Hoseok, you knew that you probably should.

A wide smile spreads across Jimins face, showing off his bright white teeth.

“You can set the date. Whenever you are ready,” Jimin says. “But shall we say within the next two weeks,” because he doesn’t trust that you won’t leave it months.

“I’ll tell you a day to meet within the next week,” you better his offer, wanting it over and done already, knowing this meeting will play on your mind all the time.

“Great,” Jimins smile seems to grow at your words, glad that his plan to come and see you in person had actually paid off.

As promised you messaged Jimin a date that you were happy to meet. Having spoken to Lily, she agreed that she would come with you for support. Turning up to the BigHit building, although nervous, you felt like things were happening on your terms.

The last time you had seen Hoseok was when you were in the flat. As you walk into the canteen with Lily you spot Jimin sat at a table across the room. He gives you a wave when he spots the two of you, and as he does the man that had his back to you turns round to look.

Your walk falters slightly as you see his face. Jimin wasn’t lying when he said that he looked 10 times worse than you. Even in this public setting, where he had obviously made a bit of an effort, he didn’t look his normal self. The closer you got the more detail you could see. His usual smile wasn’t on his face, his lips down turned even as he looked at you. There were dark circles under his eyes as if he hadn’t slept in weeks. His hair had a slight grease to it and it flopped down around his face unstyled. His clothes were baggy and dark, meaning nothing about him was bright.

Nerves through the roof as it is, the appearance of the seemingly broken man didn’t help your feelings. As you grew ever closer to the table Jimin stood up, at least he had a smile on his face you thought.

“Hey guys,” Jimin says, almost too brightly. “Thanks for coming. Lily, fancy getting a coffee with me?”

Not waiting for a reply, Jimin walks up to Lily. Giving you a small smile and squeezing your shoulder gently, Lily turns to get a coffee and sit away from you.

Sitting down opposite Hoseok, silence falls over the two of you as you both take each other in. You were unsure how you should feel. Walking in you felt nerves, seeing Hoseok you almost felt sad for him, and now sat in front of him you start to feel anger at the situation.

“I’m so sorry,” Hoseok breaks the silence and his voice sounds just as broken as his appearance. “I’m so, so, sorry.”

You give him a small nod, not trusting your voice in that moment to speak.

“I was an idiot. I didn’t think about anything and that was so stupid of me. I should have thought and I didn’t,” he carries on when you don’t speak.

You continue to nod at his words. “You were an idiot,” you say and a tiny smile appears on his face, though you are not trying to be funny. “But I was an idiot too. I was blind and naïve, but you really hurt me,” you carry on and the small smile falls from his face.

“You weren’t naïve,” Hoseok says.

“Everyone keeps saying that,” you roll your eyes at him. “I was naïve. I knew you were someone and I chose to respect your privacy or whatever the hell I thought I was doing. But no matter what stupid mistake I made, you should have told me.”

“I know,” Hoseok sighs.

“You had months. I can understand at the start maybe. But you got to know me, I opened up to you and you still didn’t trust me enough.”

“It wasn’t about trust.”

“Then what was it about?”

“Do you know how many people know who I am?” Hoseok asks. “I don’t mean that to sound big headed, but I can’t walk down the street without someone recognising me. And then you come along and had no idea who I was, or at least I assumed you didn’t by the way you treated me. And then you also had no idea who anyone was at my birthday,” he shrugs lightly. “Everyone was against me getting a roommate from the start but I decided to risk it, and when I met you, I was so glad I did. And then I got to actually know you and people started to tell me they thought I should tell you who I was, what I do for a living, and I think I convinced myself that maybe you already you knew, or if you didn’t it would ruin everything and you would treat me differently. And as time went on it felt more and more like I shouldn’t tell you, that I’d left it too late. And then we kissed.” He pauses and looks at you. You remain staring at him, taking in his words and trying to digest them. Not wanting to show any emotion at his words you look at a spot behind him, finding it easier to keep a passive face that way.

“And the next day we watched films and you were talking about Notting Hill and I thought now's the time that I can tell you. The perfect opportunity to slip it into conversation. But you said that you hated the thought of having a life like Julia Roberts had in the film. Hated the thought of everyone swarming you and I couldn’t do that to you, I couldn’t tell you who I was and ruin everything. So I went back to ignoring it all, pretending I was someone else, that I didn’t need to tell you who I was. And then everything went to shit. And it’s all my fault. And I don’t want you to feel sorry for me or like you owe me anything, I just wanted to explain,” he says and then remains silent, wanting some form of response from you.

“Jimin said that there was still stuff that I didn’t know, but I know all of this,” you say and you can’t ignore the slight flicker of hurt that crosses his face. Because truthfully you didn’t know everything, you didn’t know his feelings on the whole situation, but you still couldn’t get your head around the fact that he had chosen to not tell you about it.

Hoseok runs a hand down his face in frustration and the next words that leave his lips sound a bit harsher. “I don’t know what you came here to hear Y/N. That I’m sorry? Because that obviously isn’t enough. That I care for you? Because I do care for you,” his words start to soften and he has an almost desperation in his eyes. “I don’t think I have ever felt this way about anyone. I feel almost protective over you, but I can’t protect you from this. This is my life and I hate that it’s so crappy that it pushed you away.”

The guard that you had put up when you entered the room starts to slowly slacken at his words. You had wanted to remain strong, and you thought the best way to do that was to be defensive, to throw his words back at him. But as you listen and watch him you realise that that was not the best thing to do at all.

“I care for you too,” you admit. “And that’s why it hurt so much. I didn’t care what everyone was saying. Yes, I’m not used to it and it did affect me. But what really hurt was that it felt like you didn’t care enough to warn me. Didn’t care enough about me to open up to me.”

“I’m sorry,” is all he can manage to get out.

“I felt like I was alone. I’d met the rest of your band and thought they were nice and not even they came to my side when everything exploded. But it was the statement I read from you that really got me. Friends, is I think the word I read. Friends don’t kiss friends Hoseok,” you feel almost stronger as you let out the words that had been running through your mind for the past few weeks. “Friends don’t sleep with friends,” you pause to see the slight cringe that crosses his face at those words. “And even if we were just friends, which I would have been happy with, friends don’t just abandon each other it a shit storm like that.”

“I know this is going to sound like a cop out and it is no excuse, but it was all the company. We don’t write those press releases and however much influence it looks like I have, I have no say,” he says.

“Yeah, you’re right, it’s not really an excuse,” you say. “There are ways you can put out your own thoughts, you're not some silenced puppet that is controlled by a company. And like I said, it’s more than that, you weren’t there for me when I needed you most.”

“Because you left,” he says. “I came home to your bare room. I came home as soon as I found out what had happened and from what I could see you didn’t want to hear from me. I thought you wanted some space so I gave you that, and then when I tried to get hold of you, you didn’t want to hear from me.”

He watches as you try to commute what he was saying. Your eyes focused on your hands where your fingers pick at the skin around your nails. He can see that you had genuinely believed that he would have left you in that situation, that he wouldn’t have tried to be there for you and his heart almost crushes under how he must have made you feel, regrets every decision he made.

But as the silence extends, he feels a small glimmer of hope, you no longer snapping back at him or cutting off his words. His arm reaches across the table and a hand is placed over yours, stopping your fingers from picking at your nails. You don’t push his hand away, secretly enjoying the feeling, but your eyes remain on the hands rather than looking up at the man.

“I miss you,” he says. “I miss coming back to the flat and seeing a bright post-it note on the side. I miss eating your food, even if it’s not always that best,” he squeezes your hand to show he’s joking, and for the first time a genuine smile comes to his face at your reaction. “I miss talking to you, even if it just over text. I miss your smell around the flat. I miss having days off from work and hanging out with you around the flat. I miss kissing you. I miss waking up to you in my bed. I just miss you,” he says with a small sigh.

You are shocked by his words, not expecting him to have said any of that, especially while holding your hand. You hadn’t expected to come and forgive Hoseok. Weren’t expecting to feel anything but anger. But you had fooled yourself into thinking that the feelings you had for him were only skin deep. But over the short time you had known him he had managed to worm his way into your life like no one ever had.

As you sit in silence, Hoseok starts to grow nervous, worried his words had done more damage than good. He starts to take back his hand, releasing yours from his grip, but you hold onto it before it can get too far. His eyes look up at you and you can see the shock.

“I’m sorry,” you say, and though you pause to try and hold back the emotion threatening to spill out Hoseok doesn’t say anything and waits for you to carry on. “I ran because I was scared. And I didn’t want to talk to you because I was scared. And I pushed you away because I was scared. And I thought it was for the best, for both of us to move on and forget everything. And I’m still scared. But I think maybe I was wrong.”

Hoseoks hand grips yours tighter and you get some comfort from the feeling.

“I’m scared too you know?” He says and you look at him, seeing the sincerity in his words. “And I haven’t been perfect through this. We both made bad decisions through this, but we’re here now,” you nod slowly at his words, agreeing with what he was saying. “I get if you don’t want to, and maybe it's too soon, but you know that the room is still there for you to move back into.”

You had kind of expected him to say this at some point during the meeting, though you had imagined he would be pleading more than he currently was. What you hadn’t expected was that you would almost want to take him up on the offer. You had thought you had come to terms with the fact that you would never step back into the flat again, yet here you were wanting to move back in.

“There’s no rush,” he says, his thumb slowly stroking the back of your hand. “But I would really love you to come back. I do really miss you.”

Looking down at Hoseoks thumb rubbing against your skin you think back to all the times that Lily had told you off for overthinking. Having tried to head her words, as overthinking was a trait you didn’t like about yourself, you look back up at Hoseok.

“Ok,” you say.

“Ok?” He questions, shocked and needing clarification.

“I’ll come back to the flat,” you say and the all too familiar smile spreads across his face and it was like the sun had arisen, everything seeming to be brighter. “I’ll move back, but things will be different. I can’t just jump back to how we were, it will take me time to trust you fully again,” you warn.

The smile doesn’t falter at your words, Hoseoks head nodding firmly in agreement. “Of course, I would expect nothing else,” he says.

With that he stands up from his chair and you are confused until he starts to round the table towards you. Taking the hands he had just dropped, he pulls you up, encompassing you in hug. Your head pressed firmly into his chest, his leaning down so his nose presses against your scalp, you almost felt you were home.

“I did really miss this,” he whispers into your hair.

“Seems like you two have made up,” Jimins voice sounds out and you can almost hear the smugness that his plan had worked out.

Pulling yourself out of Hoseoks arms you give him one last look, a smile finally coming to your face, as you turn to Jimin.

“Just about,” you say.

The second time you move into the flat your flatmate is there to great you. Much like the first time, Lily and Eddie help you carry all your belongs. But this time, instead of being greeted by an empty flat, you are greeted by Hoseok.

“Hey,” he beams as he opens the door to you, holding it wide so you can all shuffle in. “Hope you found the place ok,” he jokes.

“We got a bit lost in the lobby, shitty instructions given by the owner,” you joke back, happy that the two of you are at least back to some form of normality.

“My apologise,” he continues to smile as he takes some bags off of you, heading towards your room. “At least you’re all here now. Do you want a drink or anything?” He asks as you all place your bags in your room.

“I’ll have a tea,” Lily asks, Eddie agreeing with her.

“I’ll make a pot,” Hoseok says. “Yoongi is in the living room. Go through and I’ll bring it all in.”

“I’ll help,” you say, not letting him dispute as you walk to the kitchen.

Hoseok joins you in the kitchen, and though you are both busy boiling the kettle and getting mugs out the cupboard, you enjoy just being around him.

“I’m happy to have you back,” Hoseok breaks the silence in the room, when nearly everything is ready.

“It feels a bit weird, but I’m happy to be back too,” you admit, deciding you wanted to be more open with your feelings around him.

“You don’t need to worry,” he says, and the small step he takes towards you doesn’t go unnoticed.

“I hope not,” you stare at him as he takes another small step towards you.

Now within touching distance, Hoseoks hand comes to rest on the counter just in front of yours on the counter.

“I did really miss you,” his voice is soft and he is staring at your hand as his inches ever closer.

“You’ve mentioned that once or twice,” you would laugh if the tension in the room wasn’t so high.

His finger finally comes into contact with yours and it’s like a spark runs through you. His hand encompasses yours and his thumb slowly strokes the back of your hand. Even though you look down at your entwined hands, you still see him step closer to your body, your chests almost touching now.

“The teas ready, we should take it through,” you whisper, still looking at your hands.

“Yeah, we should go,” his voice is just as quiet as yours.

Neither of you make any attempt to move. You finally look up into Hoseoks eyes, only to find he is already looking at you.

“Can I kiss you?” Hoseok asks.

Yours eyes widen in shock at the words. “I- I- I don’t,” you stutter slightly and a smile comes to Hoseoks face as he notices the effect he is having on you. “I don’t want to get hurt,” you admit. “Don’t want to rush into anything.”

Hoseoks hand leaves your hand so he can sweep some hair from off your face.

“Don’t overthink it,” he echo's the words Lily always says to you. “But if you don’t want to, then don’t feel like you have to.”

You remain quiet whilst you think over his words. His hand remains on your face and you continue to look into each others eyes.

“But I want to,” you whisper.

The smile that was on his face grows and he starts to lean into you. You close your eyes as his lips finally touch yours.

Finally pulling away, you suddenly feel shy and smile at the ground. His hand comes under your chin and lifts it up so that you have to look him in the eye.

“I’m so glad you’re back,” he says, eyes flicking between your eyes, finally resting on your lips. Leaning in for one last kiss he says, “let's take the tea through.”

Taking a step back he picks up the tea and some mugs, you help by picking up the remaining mugs. Following him through to the living room you finally feel like you are home. Happy when you see your friends talking happily with Yoongi, laughing when Hoseok makes a joke as he enters the room. Glad that you decided to move back in, even if things were hard, you knew that Hoseok would be there for you and would help you through it all. Deciding that it was one of the best decisions to be his flatmate.

284 notes · View notes

queenofspades20 · 3 years

Text

Date Night

Y/n had been have a rough time at work, so Frankie plans a special night out.

Pairings: Frankie Morales x Reader

Word count: 2.6k

Warnings: Mostly fluff, some angst (light, stressed about work, nerves, nothing crazy)

This is something I’ve always wanted to do. Just need to get a boyfriend and a truck with an open bed. So, just two things.

Y/n had been struggling at work lately and Frankie could see the exhaustion in her face. She had been coming home late every night for two weeks, working on a project that was supposed to be done Friday. Though she wasn’t talking much about the stress, he knew it was a matter of time before it was going to overwhelm her.

It was ten at night on Thursday when Y/n came home from work. She felt the weight of the world on her shoulders. The project she had been working on was due to be finished the next day and she couldn’t wait for it to be done. She saw Frankie sitting on the couch, watching a show. He turned to her as she walked into the room. Seeing how tired she was, he just opened his arms and she climbed onto his lap and hugged him.

“You okay?” Frankie asked as he rubbed circles on Y/n’s back.

“I will be when this project is done tomorrow. I’m so tired,” she mumbled into his neck. She was as close to him as she could be, finding comfort in being in his arms.

“What do you say we feed you, because I’m assuming you skipped dinner again, and then we can go to bed?”

“I’m too tired to eat. I’ll eat breakfast. I just want to go to bed with you. I’m assuming Izzy is asleep already?” Y/n asked about Frankie’s daughter. Y/n and Frankie started dating when Isabella was 9 months old and her mother was no longer in the picture. At 4 years old, Isabella was a little spitfire. She had Frankie and Y/n wrapped around her little fingers. Y/n felt guilty for not being around as much the past few weeks and she missed spending time with Izzy.

“Yeah. She tried to stay up and wait for you, but fell asleep about an hour and a half ago.”

“Damn.” Y/n felt herself start to break down. Her tears started to fall onto Frankie’s neck.

“It’s okay. She doesn’t quite understand what you’ve been dealing with, but she knows you love her.”

“It’s not okay. That little girl means the world to me and I’ve barely been around for weeks. How would she know I love her when she never sees me?” Y/n started to cry harder.

“Hey, look at me,” Frankie said as he shifted Y/n so she was looking into his face. “She knows because you make her lunch every day and you draw the little cartoons and pictures for her to enjoy. She knows they’re from you. And your late hours aren’t going to last much longer. Tomorrow the project is done. Why don’t you come home early, we can do dinner with Izzy. I’ll call Pope to come over and then you and me can go out for a bit. He’s always happy to watch her.”

“I should be done by 3.”

“Come home right after that then. It’s Friday and you’ve put in more than enough hours over the past few weeks. Start your weekend early. I’m off until Tuesday anyways.” Frankie stroked the side of Y/n’s face. She leaned into his touch and looked at him with watery eyes.

“I’m so lucky to have you.”

“I’m the lucky one, Hermosa. I don’t know what I’d do without you.”

“Be perfectly fine because you have Izzy.”

“I wouldn’t be fine. I love Izzy, obviously, but you make our family complete. You’re always doing things to make sure we know how much you love us. You bring so much light into our lives. We’d be lost without you.”

“You’re gonna make me cry again,” Y/n sniffed. She moved forward and kissed Frankie. “Let’s go to bed, my love.”

Y/n moved to get off Frankie and helped him stand up. After making sure everything was turned off or locked, they made their way to the bedroom. After brushing their teeth and getting changed, they climbed into bed, Y/n snuggling close to Frankie.

“I love you, Frankie.” Y/n sighed as she got comfortable.

“I love you, too.” Frankie kissed Y/n’s brow. They fell asleep in each other’s arms.

The next day, while Y/n was at work, Frankie called Pope to see if he could watch Izzy.

“Of course, Fish. I never turn down time with Izzy. Do you need to me to sleep over?” Pope said over the phone. Frankie was in the kitchen, assembling snacks for his plans for Y/n that night. Izzy was on the floor next to him, coloring.

“Probably. I’m going to take Y/n out in the truck to that area where we can watch the stars. I’m going to fill up the bed with blankets and pillows and we’re just gonna lay out there. It’s supposed to be clear tonight.”

“You know, this would be the perfect time to give her that ring,” Pope suggested. Frankie had made the decision to propose to Y/n, wanting to say vows in front of their friends and family that he intended to spend the rest of his life with her.

“I was thinking that too. Which is why I’m asking you to plan to spend the night. Then we can hopefully go out for a celebratory breakfast tomorrow.”

“There’s no way she’ll say anything other than yes, Fish. She loves you and Izzy.”

“I know she loves us and we’ve talked about marriage, but I’m still nervous.”

“It’ll be fine. And I think she’ll love your surprise for her. So, what time should be I over?

“Well, Y/n is coming home early. Why don’t you come around 5ish and we can all eat dinner together? Y/n loves seeing you too.”

Izzy held up the picture she had drawn. “Look, Daddy!”

Frankie smiled at his daughter. “That’s beautiful, Izzy. Who is it for?”

“Mommy!” Izzy smiled up at her dad.

“She’s going to love it. Your Uncle Pope is going to be coming over later. Why don’t you draw something for him next?”

“Yay, Uncle Pope!” Izzy quickly grabbed another piece of paper from the stack Frankie had put next to her to draw on.

“She’s going to draw something for me?” Pope almost sounded as excited as Izzy.

“She does love you.” Frankie laughed.

“Well, I’m her favorite.”

“I think Y/n is her favorite.”

“Fair. I’m her favorite uncle, then.”

“I’ll give you that. So, I’ll see you around 5?”

“Need me to bring anything?”

“Nah. I’m just going to order in some food. I’ll see you later.”

“Later.”

Frankie ended the call and turned to his daughter. She was happily drawing her picture for Pope. “Izzy, what do you say we move all this to the living room and wait for Mommy to get home?”

“Okay, Daddy.” Izzy picked up her paper and the crayons she was using. Frankie grabbed the rest of the art supplies, putting the picture Izzy did for Y/n on the kitchen counter, and the two made their way into the living room. After he got Izzy settled, Frankie ran around and grabbed as many blankets and pillows as he could to toss into the bed of his truck. He also blew up the air mattress and got it placed, so they would be comfortable. Y/n had mentioned wanting to do this for some time, but they just hadn’t made it happen yet. Frankie was determined to give her a night to always remember.

Around 4, Y/n came through the door with a tired smile. The project was done without any problems. Her boss had let her leave early and told her to take Monday off as well as a reward for all her hard work. “Hello?” she called out as she toed off her shoes.

“Living room!” Frankie could be heard.

Y/n smiled and walked over to where Frankie and Izzy were sitting on the couch, watching Izzy’s favorite show. Frankie nudged Izzy, who looked up and saw Y/n. She smiled widely and jumped up.

“Mommy!” Izzy ran over to Y/n and wrapped her arms around Y/n’s legs.

“Hi, Baby! Did you have a good day?” Y/n reached down and stroked the top of Izzy’s head.

“The best! I drew you and Uncle Pope pictures and Daddy and I watched some movies.”

“That sounds like a great day.” Y/n smiled at Frankie as she picked up Izzy. She made her way over to the couch and sat next to Frankie with Izzy being settled between them.

“Hi,” Y/n said, looking at Frankie with smile.

“Hi.” Frankie leaned over and gave Y/n a quick kiss. “Good day?”

“Yeah. Project’s done and I’m off til Tuesday. Jack gave me Monday off in recognition of my hard work.”

“Good. So, what shall we order for dinner?” Frankie slung his arm across the back of the couch, his hand reaching forward to stroke Y/n’s shoulder. “Pope will be here for dinner.”

“So, pizza?”

“Pizza works. I’ll call in a little bit.”

Y/n stood up from the couch. Frankie looked at her quizzically. “I’m going to change. What are we doing later?”

“It’s a surprise. Just dress comfortable, that’s all I’m going to give you.”

“So jeans?”

“Jeans and tshirt works,” Frankie confirmed.

“Perfect. After having to put in extra hours and wearing nothing but professional clothes, I’m happy to be casual. I’ll be back.”

While Y/n was getting changed, he called the pizza in. Pope got there around the same time as the pizza. After dinner, Frankie and Y/n hung around for a little bit longer. Y/n was getting caught up on what was going on in Pope’s life. While they were talking, Frankie made a thermos a hot chocolate. When he was done, he walked over to where everyone was sitting.

“Ready to go, Y/n?”

Y/n looked up at him with a smile. “Let’s go.” She turned to Izzy. “You be good for your Uncle Pope, Izzy, okay?”

“I will, Mommy.” Izzy moved closer to Pope and hugged him. “I’m always good for Uncle Pope,” she said, innocently.

The adults started laughing. Y/n went and kissed Izzy’s head. “Love you, Izzy. We’ll see you in the morning.”

Frankie went over and gave Izzy a kiss goodbye. He looked at Pope. “I’d give some rules, but you ignore them anyways. Just don’t do anything too crazy.”

Pope smiled at them. “You know me well. Have a fun night, you two.”

Frankie led Y/n to his truck, distracting her from looking in the back. He had loaded up the blankets and snacks shortly before she got home. He was happy she didn’t notice the blankets missing from in the house. Frankie put a blindfold over Y/n’s eyes.

“I want this to be a surprise.”

“This doesn’t end with you killing me and dumping my body in a forest, does it?” Y/n asked with a smile. She didn’t need to see him to know Frankie was giving her an unimpressed look.

Frankie sighed. “You’d think I would anticipate your jokes by now, Hermosa. But no, I’m not going to kill you.”

Frankie put the truck into drive and directed the truck towards the field he was taking her to. It was about a 45 minute drive, well outside city limits, so that they would have a clear view of the sky. Thankfully, the weather channel was right about the weather and the skies were absolutely clear. When he got to the field, he put the truck in park and had Y/n stay seated while he set up the blankets and pillows. After everything was set up to his satisfaction, Frankie felt in his pocket for the ring and took a big sigh. He helped Y/n out of the truck and then gently removed the blindfold.

“I thought we could look at the stars,” Frankie said, gesturing to the bed of the truck and to the sky.

Y/n felt her eyes tear up. “Frankie, this is perfect!” She moved her arms around his torso and pulled him close. “I’ve always wanted to do this.”

“I remember us talking about it once. I thought this would be a good way to wind down after the stressful weeks you’ve had.”

“It is. Thank you.”

Frankie led her to the back of the truck and let the tailgate down. He helped her jump up on the bed and she got settled on the air mattress. Frankie followed her up and closed the tailgate. The night had a bit of a chill to it, making the blankets a perfect addition. Frankie and Y/n were propped up against the back with the pillows, so they could sit up while drinking the hot chocolate Frankie made. They talked about everything and nothing, at some point just being quiet while looking up at the stars. The silence was comfortable and Y/n hadn’t felt this relaxed or happy in weeks.

“I love you, Frankie,” Y/n whispered, not wanting to disturb the peace they had created for themselves. Her eyes stayed on the stars and she had a soft smile on her lips.

Frankie shifted, reaching into his pocket for the ring. This was the moment he had been waiting for. He felt his heartbeat pick up pace and his palms started to get sweatier. He cleared his throat and looked down at Y/n. Y/n felt the nerves radiating off him and looked at him questioningly.

“I love you, too, Y/n,�� Frankie rushed out, realizing he hadn’t responded to her in a few moments. He fumbled with the ring in his hands, trying to not let Y/n see it until he had asked her his question. “There’s actually something I want to ask you.”

“You can ask me anything, Frankie.”

“I, uh, I…” Frankie had prepared a whole speech, but in the moment, his nerves got the better of him.

“Take your time.” Y/n reached up and stroked the side of Frankie’s face. She smiled at him encouragingly.

Frankie covered her hand with his own, the ring in his other hand. He took a steadying breath and smiled down at her.

“You are the light of my life. When we met, I didn’t think I deserved another chance at a relationship. I had Izzy and I thought that would be all I could ever have. I don’t know what I did to deserve someone as amazing as you, but I’m so glad I did it. You are my best friend and you have become the mother of my child. You brought love into our lives and I couldn’t be more thankful for you.”

Y/n started to tear up at his sweet words. “I’m the lucky one,” she said softly. She didn’t want to interrupt Frankie, but she couldn’t hold in her feelings.

Frankie smile at her. “Y/f/n, would you do me the honor of marrying me and officially adopting Izzy? You are her mother in every way that matters and nothing would make me happier than to be your husband.”

Y/n couldn’t stop the tears falling down her cheeks. She pulled Frankie into a heated kiss. She smiled at them as they broke apart.

“Is that a yes?”

Y/n let out a watery laugh. “Of course, it’s a yes. I would love to be your wife and Izzy’s mom. Are you sure you want to go through the adoption process?”

“Yes. Izzy already clearly considers you her mother. I just want it to be legal.” Frankie took Y/n’s left hand and slid on the ring.

“Frankie,” Y/n said in awe. “It’s perfect. I love it.”

“I’m glad.” He pulled her close and kissed her. “You just made me the happiest man alive.”

“Well, as you just made me the happiest woman, I think we’re even.”

They settled into the blankets, holding each other. They spent the rest of the night out under the stars. Frankie texted Pope that they were going to camp out under the stars and that they would be having a celebratory breakfast in the morning.

#frankie morales x reader #Frankie Morales #Pedro Pascal #pedro pascal x reader #triple frontier #frankie morales fluff #In need of some serious fluff #catfish morales #frankie catfish morales

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folkloreguk · 3 years

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Punch Confessions🎄

A/N: Happy December! I didn’t do an advent calendar this year but I thought you should at least have one Christmas themed thing...and maybe I also really wanted to write something that’ll get me into the spirit...

genre: optional bias (male) x reader, fluff

words: ~ 2k

If I leave now, I’ll be there like twenty minutes early, you told yourself. But if you sat around any longer, waiting, you were sure to go crazy. Your stomach was flipping, and you had the desire to check your appearance in the mirror for what felt like the 100th time within the last ten minutes. There was really no need for you to be this nervous. You were going to get on the bus, arrive at the Christmas market, find your friends, hug them hello and have a great time. Had it not been for the godforsaken crush you had developed on one of those friends. Now you couldn’t go anywhere you knew you’d see him without feeling like having a heart attack. And, worst of all, you didn’t even think he felt the same about you. In fact, you had been trying vigorously to distract yourself, asking the web how to undo a crush and even stalking your ex on social media, convincing yourself that another relationship like your previous one was the last thing you could wish for. And yet you wanted him. He was on your mind from the moment you woke up to the time you closed your eyes at night. Sometimes, when it was especially bad, he followed you into your dreams. You’d hear the melody of his laughter, see the way his eyes change shape when he smiled and every time you awoke, you were alone in your bed, longing for something you thought would never be yours.

So now, when you finally caught the bus, you put in your earphones. You found your Christmas playlist and emerged in a world of bells and whistle notes, hopefully distracting you enough to make it to the Christmas market without having a nervous breakdown.

His back was the first thing you saw when you stepped out of the bus in front of the market. And to your dismay, he was the first one there. For some reason he had arrived even earlier than you had. You called his name and he spun around with a million-dollar smile on his face. Oh god. Mentally you prepared yourself to go to war against the butterflies raging in your stomach. He gave you a hug and the way his scent lingered in your nose for a moment only made your longing a million times worse.

“How have you been?” he asked. You were glad he was so good at making conversation. While you told him about your previous week, you realized exactly how he had taken your heart by storm. Although you had felt flustered at first, talking to him was the easiest thing in the world. It was the way he made you laugh without having to try, and how he didn’t just hear what you told him – he listened. He found interest in every part of your life, always wanting to know more and remembering the littlest things that seemed like nothingness to you. So, while originally you had wished your friends would be here as quickly as possible, with every second you spent alone around him you were more okay if they would be later to the meeting than discussed.

But eventually they arrived too, and as much as you had wished to be alone with him, you had missed your friends dearly. You caught up with each other’s lives quickly, while you strolled around the market and checked the little booths for potential Christmas gifts for your loved ones. It was a whirlwind of admiring little figurines, smelling scented candles and singing along to the cheesy songs playing over the speakers at every corner.

When you had seen everything, you found yourself at one of the booths selling punch and other hot drinks. While you laughed at your friends’ funny story, you were drinking, perhaps getting a little tipsy. A small fire was burning in the middle of the round wooden table, meant to keep the people standing there warm, but it wasn’t doing much for your freezing cold hands.

Instead of holding them towards the flame, you opted for rubbing them against each other, trying to create some warmth in your too thin gloves. That’s when you noticed him looking over at you. At first, he grinned at your behavior, but then he reached across the table.

“Here, this will keep your warm,” he said. Gently, he took your hands and put them around his mug, which he had just gotten refilled. To say your heart skipped a beat didn’t even sound like an exaggeration to you anymore. He kept his hands on yours, watching for your reaction. And he was right, it really did do wonders for your cold skin. Not knowing what to do with yourself, you smiled thankfully at him. He smiled back at you and your stomach dropped and flipped at the same time. There was really no denying how completely and utterly in love you were with him.

And then the all too familiar feeing set in. The doubts and worries about how he felt about you. He had always been a rather touchy person, so it wasn’t like you could take his sudden advances as anything but normal behavior. He was single, you knew that. But what if one day he broke news to you? What if he told you he had found somebody he wanted to be with? Someone who would always look out for him, and someone he would count all the sky’s stars for? And what if that someone wasn’t you? Although that wasn’t reality, the mere idea made you want to cry.

Your friend had encouraged you to take your chances. Just tell him, she would always say. But how did she not realize? With the chance of having your love reciprocated also came the horrible dread of having your fragile heart broken by the one you loved most in the world – and it wouldn’t even be his fault. It would mess up your entire friendship, and you weren’t ready to take that chance.

“I think I’ll hit the trail soon,” one of your friends announced, pulling you out of your train of thoughts.

“Yeah, me too, it’s getting quite cold,” the other one said. “We should definitely do this again soon!”

You could only agree. Especially if it would involve seeing H/N. Speaking of…he was smiling at you again and it was making your cheeks heat up even in this cold.

“Can I bring you home? It’s dark and you had some drinks,” he said. “We can’t have some creeps trying to talk to you. Not when you look this pretty. The taxi ride from your place will be cheaper than if I take one from here, anyway.”

You thought you were dreaming. Did he just call you pretty? But then you watched his eyes and his goofy smile, and you realized. He was drunk - a lot more drunk than you were - and it was bringing out his flirty side. It wasn’t you who made him compliment you, it was the alcohol. You had seen it before on him. He liked complimenting anyone, boys as much as girls, when he was drunk. Your heart sank at the realization.

“Okay. Thank you,” you said, nonetheless. After all, you wouldn’t reject the opportunity to be alone with him. The bus ride home was quiet, except for the usual small talk shared between good friends. When he softly touched your hand, it should have made you happy. Instead, you only felt an emptiness, knowing he would have probably done the same to your other girl friend, had he brought her home instead.

When you walked up to your front porch, you couldn’t wait to get inside. Just before you put your keys into the lock, he said your name. You spun around, and he was standing so much closer than you had anticipated. His eyes were sparkling, your Christmas lights around your door reflecting in them. One of his hands came to touch your cheek, and your heartbeat had never quickened so fast.

“Can I kiss you?” he asked. YES, your heart shouted. NO, your head said. He’s just drunk, not in love with you. So you had to make a decision you prayed you wouldn’t have to regret.

“H/N, you’re drunk. If you still want to kiss me tomorrow when you’re sober, I promise I will say yes. But now, I can’t,” you said. His eyes read a little disappointment, but more empathy.

“Alright, I’m sorry,” he said, slowly retracting his hand from your cheek. You wouldn’t have minded it staying there longer. “Can I give you a hug, at least?”

“Yes,” you laughed, pulling him into your arms. You waited with him, until his taxi had arrived there, and then sent him off. The whole evening you were conflicted. Should you have kissed him? You know it would have hurt you, knowing he didn’t mean it the way you did. But was it selfish to wish you had him, even if only for a few fleeting seconds, in the palm of your hand? No, you did the right thing, you told yourself. Don’t break your own heart like that. That’s what other people are here for. The thoughts didn’t stop until late at night, when you finally drifted off into a dreamless sleep.

Your next morning was busy. It was a weekend, but you needed to go grocery shopping and clean some rooms in your home, so you could relax in the afternoon. You were so lost in work, that you almost forgot about what happened the previous evening. Almost. Because when the doorbell rang at 3 in the afternoon, your heart ached for it to be him, standing outside your door.

“Hi.” And there he was. In front of your door, almost like it was imagination. You couldn’t stop the child-like grin that spread on your face at his sight.

“Hey, come in,” you offered, stepping aside for him. He removed his hand from behind his back. And handed you…a scarf?

“I found this at my place today. It’s yours, isn’t it?” he said. “I just dropped by to bring it back.”

And that’s the exact time it took for your brittle hope to be crushed beneath his words.

“That is mine. I’ve been wondering where it was. Thank you,” you said in a robot-kind-of-way. “Where are you off to?”

You didn’t want him to go. He had to stay, so that the last little flicker of Esperance would be kept alive.

“Oh, I just need to get some milk from the store, that’s all,” he said. His smile was too handsome for you to be okay with looking at it. Especially now.

“But actually, there’s something you have for me too, don’t you?” he said.

“What?” you asked, confused. Did he forget something at your place, as well? His lips curled into a cheeky smirk, and your heartbeat picked up pace.

“Yesterday you were worried I wouldn’t remember. Now it seems like I’ll have to remind you of what you said,” he spoke. “You said I can kiss you if I still want to.”

At that moment, you stopped functioning for a few solid seconds. With a wide-eyed gaze you stared at him in disbelief.

“And I do,” he said. “I do still want to kiss you. How could I not, when that’s all I’ve wanted to do for months?”

And then he was there, so close to you, you worried he might hear your heartbeat through your chest. Finally, you understood. A smile spread on your face, completely out of your control. You touched his face, and his beautiful eyes were the last thing you saw before you closed your own and your lips touched. His skin was cold from the temperature outside, so you only pulled him closer. A perfectly comfortable warmth spread in your chest, one that felt as if it had been there, locked up in a small box for months, only waiting to be unleashed. And he had been the key. His gentle kiss and his oh-so familiar scent was all you could think about. You had gotten your Christmas miracle, after all.

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let-me-luve-you · 3 years

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I’m Proud of You

Tom Holland x Sister

Summary: The reader is in the military and encourages Tom to take the role of Cherry. Now that the movie is coming out, everyone expresses how proud they are.

Warnings: Not too descriptive but mentions of ptsd and addiction, angst, supportive friends and family, talks of the movie Cherry, talks of military

A/N: Hey guys, this is so late and I’m sorry. Just been going through it a little bit but I’m okay. Thank you to those that reached out. I hope you enjoy this.

MASTERLIST BUY ME A COFFEE REDBUBBLE

When Tom was pulled aside by the Russo Brothers when he was filming End Game and was given the plot line of the movie Cherry, Tom immediately thought of you. You were his baby sister that served in the military. Tom was hesitant to take the role of an army medic that has PTSD and struggles with addiction. This character would hit home in a way.

You had been home leading to Tom leaving for Atlanta to film the final Avengers movie, but you left shortly after he did to go back on deployment. Tom was never fully calm when he knew you weren’t home. He constantly worried.

When the Russo’s came to him, they knew he would have to consider everything from career to personal. They knew you served your country. What they didn’t know was that you were already suffering from PTSD. Tom knew, which is why it took him all of filming to give them an answer.

One morning when Tom was talking to you, he mentioned the role and how he didn’t know if he should take it. It discussed heavy issues. He wasn’t sure if he would be able to bring it justice. You encouraged him to take the role. You told him you knew he could do the role. That he was an amazing actor. You included that doing this movie could help start a conversation about mental health and addiction within soldiers and veterans.

Tom remembered the conversation like it was yesterday. Now the trailer is being released and he is starting the virtual press tour. You had just come home right before Christmas. Your Christmas present to your family was telling them you were retiring from the military. Tom was ecstatic at the news. He hated worrying about you when you were gone. He was constantly thinking that the next phone call he got was going to be his parents telling him you weren’t coming home.

A month later, you were currently staying with Tom until you found your own place. When Tom was sent the trailer to Cherry for him to post on his own social media the next day, he brought his computer to your room. He knocked on the door and opened it when he heard a quiet “come in.”

“Hey Y/N?” You looked up from your iPad when he spoke.

“Yeah?” You asked, confused.

“I have the trailer for Cherry. They just sent it over. Want to watch?” He asked hopefully. You could see the slight fear in his eyes, but you didn’t understand why.

“Sure.” You smiled at him and set your iPad on your night stand. Tom smiled back at you and sat down on the other side of the bed. He quickly made it full screen and hit play. He had already watched it so Tom watched you through the corner of his eye. He noticed that when it showed the war scenes, you tensed.

When the trailer was over, Tom slowly exited out and shut his computer screen. “What did you think? They are going to send over the movie this weekend. Figured me and you could make a movie night out of it with the whole family.”

“I liked it. You look like you did a good job so far. I can’t wait to watch it.” You smiled at him. Tom immediately knew you were putting on your fake smile.

“Everything okay?” He asked, concerned.

“Yeah. I just…” You sighed and looked away from Tom. “Just still adjusting to everything. You know that I’m going to therapy, right?”

Tom shook his head, “No, I just thought you were going to mum’s and dad’s.”

“No. I’ve been going to therapy. I’m at three days a week right now. The nightmares are just too much to handle. Then I hear sounds during the day and it just flashes me back to there.”

“I’m sorry y/n/n. You know you can talk to me. I want you to know you can talk to me. No matter what time. I talked with veterans, I don’t know what you went through, but I know it wasn’t good. After playing this character, I don’t want to see that happen to you. Did they prescribe medicine?” He asked.

You shook your head.

“Okay. If they feel you need to, please let me know. I really, really don’t want you to go through addiction. I don’t even want to risk it for you to even get close to addiction.” He said seriously. You knew he was. You didn’t want the medicine anyways.

“I can’t wait to see the movie.” You said with a smile. “But can I ask if we can start it early? I already know, I’ll probably need to pause it and take a minute when it gets to those scenes.” You said. You didn’t even need to specify which ones. Tom knew already that watching the military scenes were going to be hard for you.

“Yeah. We can. And if you want it to be just us, that’s perfectly okay. I can watch it with everyone else the next night.” He said giving you options.

You shook your head to turn down the new option, “that’s okay. I can watch it with them. Just let them know I will need to pause it.” Tom smiled at you and nodded before kissing your head and getting off your bed. Tom left to go show everyone else the trailer.

After he posted the trailer to his Instagram a few days later, positive comments started flooding his Instagram and Twitter. You scrolled through the comments from Harry, Haz, the Russo Brothers, and more people Tom knew and worked with and like all of them. You were so happy to see them support Tom. He had the right people in his corner.Next you saw a post from Tuwaine. First you scrolled through the photos. They were of Tom as Cherry throughout the different times in the characters life.

It’s funny, cos when I see bae do a role like this, I’m reminded again and again of how talented he truly is. I don’t think the world can look at you the same way once this is out.

He added that the trailer link was in his bio and you smiled. Not many people would do that, but Tuwaine has been one of Tom’s day 1s. You loved Tuwaine like a brother. You couldn’t ask for a better best friend for your brother.

You knew Tuwaine’s words were 100% correct. People saw Tom as a kid. They saw him like he is this sweet, innocent teenager like Peter Parker. He didn’t hate that, but he also hated being seen as a kid. Don’t get him wrong, he loves Spider-Man and he would love to play that character for the rest of his life, but he’s 24. He wanted to be taken seriously and no one takes a kid seriously.

You remember getting the selfie Tom sent to your phone when he was filming. You didn’t get it until you returned home, but he loved to text your phone when things happened so you could stay up to date with him. The selfie Tom sent you was when he was in Morocco. He was in all of his military gear. The text under it was,

I put this suit on and I feel like I’m an imposter. I feel like I don’t deserve to wear this. I’m just an actor, you are the real hero in this world. But when I feel like this, I remember what you told me. “If anyone can play this role, it’s you Tom. You have a connection to the military. You see what it can do to the family and friends around the soldier. You know what it has done to me. If anyone can bring this character to the screen and help start a conversation about PTSD and addiction, it’s you. I don’t know another actor that would take it seriously and give it 110%.” I hope this movie does start that conversation. I hope people see this character and realize the severity of it. Thank you for pushing me to do this role. I love you. I can’t wait to see you again. Stay safe y/n/n. I love you.

You decided to post the picture he sent you plus a screenshot of the text. You wanted them to see Tom as Tom. You were so incredibly proud of him and you wanted the world to see that.

Tom, I honestly don’t know what words to say right now, you know I’m not good at them, but I’m proud of you. I’m proud of you for going outside your comfort zone. You went into this movie to show people you can be more than the nerdy high school kid and to start a conversation. I read all the text you sent me when filming this. I know the hardships you went through. I cannot wait to watch Cherry with you to see all the hard work pay off. I already know you were absolutely amazing in it. I love you and I’m proud of you!

When Tom got the notification that he was tagged in a post by you, he smiled. He smiled even bigger seeing the photos you used and as he read the caption. He was the luckiest brother in the world to have a sister like you. He quickly comment thank you and love you with a kiss and heart emojis.

“Tom?” You asked as you walked into his room to see him lying on the bed.

“Yeah?” He questioned.

“I really am proud of you. Let’s go out for lunch. My treat.” You smiled. Tom got out of bed and walked to you.

“Thank you for pushing me to do this role. I’m really glad I did it.” He said and gave you a kiss on the head. “Now go get dressed, I’m paying.” He said with an arrogant tone and walked towards his bathroom. You left to get dressed while laughing. Knowing it was going to be a fight to see who actually paid for lunch.

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royallyprincesslilly · 4 years

Text

Title: The Light Of Morning

Chris Evans x Reader

Warning: Cursing, Drug Use, NSFW, SMUTT, LOTS OF WORDS

Words: 8.6k

Summary: What is done in the dark, comes to light.

Note: I come bearing gifts! Thank you so much for reading. I hope you enjoy this! ❤️❤️❤️

***Loosely Edited/Proofread***

***Interactive***

“Ms. Y-L-N, this is the final print. It’s just waiting for your approval,” Tandy said, placing it in front of you on your desk.

“Thank you. I’ll have a look. Tell Capri that I need to see the proofs from that shoot this morning.”

“Got it.” You began flipping through the magazine you were the editor in chief of and tried to figure out if all the edits made your cut. You were picky always had been, but your pickiness always paid off. It paid off so much that you were one of the biggest names in fashion and a serious force to be reckoned with. As you flipped you listened in on the phone conference, you were part of all the while taking notes of any idea that came to mind.

Today was a hectic day. The final edits had to go out for printing tonight, on top of the new theme for next month’s magazine. Once the theme was picked, you had to come up with backup articles for all of your staff so that when the staff meeting happened, things would go smoothly. Then you had to iron out all the details for your meetings the following Monday. Fridays for everyone else symbolized the beginning of the weekend and whatever party, but for you, it was always the busiest and most hectic day of the week.

An hour later, your conference was finished, and you’d signed off on the edits. You now had to get down to put together to oversee the inhouse fashion. As you walked out of your office, Tandy shot to her feet.

“Get these off to printing; we’re all set. I’m going down to put together now.”

“Got it. oh, Chris just called.”

“Chris who?”

“Chris Evans, your bestie,” Tandy informed.

“Really, when?”

“Maybe ten minutes ago.”

“What did he want?”

“He said he’s been calling your cell, and you’ve been ignoring him, and he doesn’t appreciate having to find you through your assistant, especially if he’s your best friend,” Tandy explained. You rolled your eyes. You didn’t have time for his melodramatics.

“Thank you, Tandy.”

“Do you want me to call him back?”

“No, he can wait. He needs to learn that I’m not at his beck and call,” you teased with a wink before you got on the elevator.

You and Chris had been friends for a long time. You grew up together in Boston but never really became friends until you were both in middle school, which was right in time to see him turn into the object of every teenage girl’s affection. You’d seen Chris through plenty of awkward phases. The phase where he idolized vanilla Ice and thought he should dress like him. The phase where he thought maybe baseball was going to be his calling—it wasn’t. The phase where he got into soccer only to realize that he was skinny as hell and didn’t really like the uniforms that made him look even skinner.

You were there through other phases too, like the phase where he liked only cheerleaders and had a thing with Beverly Espino while also having a thing with her friend Stacy Carrington. That ended badly when they both realized it. You were there during the phase of him crushing on every burnett in your sixth grade only to change his mind and like all the blondes. Needless to say, you’d seen everything Chris related, girlfriends, side pieces, flings, everything. You knew everything about him, his strengths, weaknesses, fears, and shortcomings. You also knew that all his weaknesses and shortcomings would clash with yours.

After high school, you went to college in New York to pursue a degree in journalism and communications. Chris went off to make his mark in Hollywood. Your friendship took a backseat to both of your goals, but that wasn’t the case for long. You made sure to put in the needed effort to remain in each other’s lives. You accompanied him to countless Hollywood events, and he accompanied you to plenty of work events. Now with both of you in your thirties and at the peak of your careers, your friendship was stronger than ever.

When you made it down to put together, you looked over all the pieces of clothing that had been sent to you for you to style as you wished for this month’s issue. The ones that hadn’t been chosen were set to be sent back or reused for next month. You spent the next hour or so making a plan for what you wanted to send back and what you planned on styling for the next issue. You got so enthralled you lost track of time. When Tandy came in to whisper to you that you were late for your interview, you panicked. You hated being late.

It took you five minutes to get back to your office, where some interviewers were waiting for you.

“I’m so sorry. I lost track of time making plans for next month’s issue.”

“We understand, when you make it to the top, you’re supposed to make people wait,” a well-dressed woman with auburn hair said with a smile.

“Ha, the top. Nonsense.”

“Plenty would beg to differ. I’m Madeline, and this is Jeff.”

You shook their hands and asked Tandy to bring in a bottle of your preferred flavored sparkling water; then, you sat in the seat before them. You noticed Jeff give you the once over before he licked his lips as his eyes rested on your thighs.

“Welcome, I’m Y/N, I’ve never liked the whole Mr. Y-L-N.”

They smiled and visibly relaxed. You didn’t know where this idea that you were a mean ass came from. You were so far from that. You did like respect and liked a good job done. Those traits made you meticulous and determined. You didn’t like your time wasted. The interview began with them asking how you got your start and whether or not you knew this was where you wanted to me. You answered the questions honestly, never giving too much information. It was a trick Chris taught you. He always said answer the question asked do not give an ounce more. If you do, you’re making it easy for them to pry for more and or twist your words. It was great advice, advice you followed.

When the conversation went into details on how you put an issue together and how you kept it all organized, you rambled on and on. Your passion was what you did, and you luckily loved what you did. You loved sharing insight, lessons learned, and tips and tricks. You were a black woman, and for you to have made it this far was unheard of. You wanted to show other black little girls that there is no glass ceiling; they too could be right where you were or higher.

When the interview had reached the forty-five-minute mark, you looked to the door expecting Tandy to be there to encourage them to wrap it up. She was nowhere in sight.

“So, Y/N, there is a lot of curiosity about your personal life. You are so successful, so much of a force to be reckoned with inquiring minds need to know. Is there a Mr. Y-L-N waiting at home for you at nights with your bathwater drawn and dinner waiting?”

You nearly laughed way too loudly. The question was ridiculous. You hadn’t had a date in months because of how busy you were, and for the fact again, you hated your time wasted. Men were either intimidated by you and didn’t approach or approached with the intent on wasting your time.

“My success comes with late nights, early mornings, and lots of sacrifices. No Mr. anything is waiting for me at home.”

Jess smiled and quirked his brow before he licked his lips again.

“So the old wives' tales are true. The ones that say successful women have to sacrifice the happy home life of husbands and babies to reach where they want to be.”

You were speechless. How did you answer that? Of course, you didn’t believe that, but that was precisely what you’d been doing. Clearing your throat, you adjusted in your seat.

“On the contrary, I believe women are in control of their lives and futures. It is absolutely possible to have every single thing you want. I fully intend to,” you finished as Tandy stepped in. Finally, you thought.

“All finished in here?”

You stood and adjusted your skirt while nodding with a fake smile.

“Yes. Thank you for coming by, Madeline, Jeff. It’s wonderful to meet you. Tandy will show you out and also give you a parting gift of my appreciation.”

You shook their outstretched hands, Madeline’s first and then Jeff’s. When your hands touched, you felt a smooth card in your palm. Jeff smiled slyly while looking right in your eyes.

“Hopefully, we see more of each other,” he said. You caught his meaning, and politely smiled.

“Time will tell. Have a good weekend.”

You watched them walk out then looked in your hand to see Jeff’s business card. On the back was a simple message. “Call me. I’d love to have dinner sometime.” You chuckled to yourself as you dropped the card in your desk, not giving him or it another thought.

“Y/N, Chris is on the phone.”

“Put him through, thank you.”

You dropped in your seat and stretched your legs on top of your desk then picked up the phone. Before you spoke, he did.

“I am not your assistant or some journalist who wants a piece of you, so they chase you down. I don’t appreciate having to--,” he spoke before you interrupted him.

“Man, stop all that noise. My god, you actors sure are sensitive and love to talk.”

Chris laughed on the line, which had you giggling along with him.

“How can I help thee, Chris Evans?”

“Shut up. You’re not funny.”

“I’m not trying to be. You’ve been calling all day. What’s up?”

“I’m in town.”

You froze and smiled. “In town, like New York?”

“Duh New York, where else would in town be?”

“Shut up, don’t come for me.”

“I was planning on doing just that. I had a few interviews today, and I don’t have to fly out until tomorrow afternoon,” he informed before you gasped and sat up.

“Are you thinking what I’m thinking?”

“If it involved beers and music, then yeah,” Chris answered.

You screeched. It had been months since you’d been able to hang out together. You always had a great time together.

“So? You down to take me out?”

“Take you out? You’re such a dork.”

“You like this dork. Can I take that as a yes?”

“Yes. Come by my place at eight.”

“You know that is two hours from now, right? Will you actually be ready? I don’t want to wait for you for an hour, Y/N.”

“You won’t be waiting. I’ll be ready,” you promised.

“Okay, eight. See you then,” Chris finalized before you hung up.

When eight o’clock rolled around, you were not ready, and you knew he was gonna flip out. You ran around your townhouse, trying to finish getting ready. After putting the finishing touches on your makeup look and spritzing yourself with your perfume of the month, you grabbed your clutch in time to hear the doorbell ring. He was ten minutes late, and you knew it was purposely done. Skipping down the steps, you made it to the front door to let him in before he rang again. He gave you a quick once over and stopped at your bare feet.

“I gave you ten extra minutes, and you’re still not ready,” Chris whined. Rolling your eyes, you walked away, leaving the door open.

“Chris, I’m ready. Just give me two minutes. Plus, why are you ringing the doorbell? You have a key.”

You heard the door shut and then heard his footsteps before he turned the corner. “I don’t have any keys on me tonight.”

You tipped your foot onto one of the steps and rubbed the handful of perfumed lotion you carried down with you and paid attention to what you were doing. You didn’t register that everything was quiet. When you looked and turned to him, you rubbed the excess between your thighs.

“What?”

“Uh---nothing, you look incredible. It’s been months.”

You smiled warmly and approached him with your arms stretched out for the hug. He wrapped his arms around you, and the two of you rocked from side to side. His arms engulfed you as they always had, but he felt like he’d bulked up some more.

“Bulked up?”

“Gotta keep the physique looking good.” You rolled your eyes and stepped into your shoes in the corner and adjusted the hemline of your dress.

“See, ready,” you said with a twirl and a pose.

The ride in the cab was not a quiet one. Chris filled you in on everything he’d been doing over the last few months and told you about any new experiences he’d had. There was never one moment of quiet. You’d always found it comforting that no matter how much time passed where the two of you didn’t see each other, it never mattered when you got back together. You talked like no time had passed at all. When he began to tease you about the recent accomplishments you’d made with work, you sat there and ate up the praise. He knew you hated it, but he still did it. Truth be told, you didn’t mind the praise from him; it was from others you hated.

When you walked into the hottest new restaurant in the diamond district, Chris had your clutch and his hand at the small of your back like the perfect gentleman he was. The Friday night crowd was out, and the restaurant was bumbling with overlapping conversations and the clatter of dishes and glasses. As you passed the tables on the way to your own, you felt the eyes of passing men but ignored them. You ordered the first round of drinks and asked for time to decide. That was when you noticed Chris’s eyes on you.

“What?”

“Don’t what me? I must have clocked seven guys just checking you out,” he informed. You rolled your eyes again.

“You’re exaggerating.”

“Am not. I saw it with my own eyes,” Chris insisted.

“Ignore them. Why are you looking at other men watching me?”

“Because I need to know and be ready to drop one of them if they step out of line,” Chris boasted. You smirked and shook your head. He’d been dropping guys in your name since you were kids. You knew it was a protective gesture, so you didn’t care.

“What about you? I see plenty of eyes slanting over her to check out your baby blues and cabin in the woods beard.”

Chris laughed heartily again. You liked to tease him about his beard.

“You know you like the beard. Don’t lie, puddin’.”

You couldn’t stifle your laugh at the mention of his nickname for you that stemmed from an incident in your childhood. “Are you going to drop one of them for me?”

“Hell no, I don’t fight for no man, honey,” you quickly responded.

“I’m not just anybody,” Chris defended. You took him in for a few moments, but the moment was interrupted by the waiter bringing by your drinks.

The two of you ordered your meals and got right back into talking and teasing one another. You’d missed him, and it was evident he’d missed you too. Dinner was delicious, and the service was spectacular. Chris left a generous tip after he paid the bill much to your annoyance. He knew you hated being kept. You worked hard to make your own money and liked to spend it. When you protested, he overrode your voice and went ahead and did it anyway. He didn’t do it to be sexist; he did it because that was how Ms. Lisa raised him.

After another fifteen-minute ride in a cab, you arrived at a club that Tandy had told you about weeks ago but hadn’t gotten around to going. From the modern exterior, it looked really exclusive. The neon lights were dark but blinding. The colors were all aesthetically pleasing and complimented the fresh slate of the outside. When you walked to the guards in front of the establishment, they looked at you from head to toe and smiled their approval. They then glanced at Chris, who had his head dipped low so no one recognized him. When the guards opened the doors for you, those who were in line groaned and whined their displeasure.

“Oh shut up, or you won’t be getting in at all!” Those in line instantly shut their mouths. You walked in front of Chris down the dark corridor.

“Guess you wore the right dress,” he whispered.

“Guess I did.”

The corridor ended and opened up to loud music and even darker neon lights that gave everyone enough privacy to have a good time however they saw fit.

“Wow,” Chris uttered.

“Right. How long has it been since you danced your ass off white boy?”

You walked down the steps toward the dance floor and turned to him as you began to dance as well. His smile was bright as he shook his head. You beckoned him to you as you continued to dance. When he got in front of you, he began showing you that rhythm he had. He had more rhythm than any white boy you’d ever met, and he took pride in his dance moves. When he busted out some old two-step, you threw your head back and laughed loudly. Chris then wrapped his arm around your waist and pulled you to him. The two of you danced and got lost in the music.

It felt good to finally cut loose after such a long time being work-focused. You’d tried to ignore how badly you needed a night out, but right now, you couldn’t ignore it any longer. Chris kept his hands respectful as you danced close together. Every so often, he turned you and danced behind you, keeping up with the latest dance moves. You leaned to his ear.

“Someone’s been watching Tik Tok,” you teased. He laughed again and brought his lips to your ears.

“And paying attention to my niece and nephew,” he joked.

After an hour of dancing, the two of you found an empty area and ordered two rounds of drinks. As you drank and swayed in your seats to the music, you shouted at each other, still catching up. The music was so loud that you missed a few words here or there, but because you knew him so well, you knew what he was saying. There were so many instances where you each finished each other’s sentences before laughing together about it.

“More dancing?”

You nodded and took his hand and allowed him to lead you back to the dancefloor. It was even more crowded than before, and you were shocked; he still hadn’t been recognized. He was also surprised, but you could tell he was enjoying his new anonymity. Your moves got sillier and sillier the more you drank, and his got more frat boy as he knocked drink after drink back.

At one point, you ended up in the air being moved through the crowd with you shouting. When you returned to your feet, there Chris was in the center of the circle doing some old school moves that had you laughing. He found you in the crowd and posed. You knew what it meant and panicked as you rapidly shook your head. Chris stamped his foot adamantly and gave you a stern look. You shook your head again, but he was not letting up. Rolling your eyes, you just gave in. He smiled once he saw he’d worn you down. With two nods of your head you ran toward him, he bent and did his best Patrick Swayze impersonation from Dirty Dancing by hoisting you into the air and holding you there. The crowd erupted with loud cheers and hooting. You looked down at Chris and found his eyes already on you. Shaking your head, you giggled before he allowed you to drop into his arms so he could slide you down his body.

“You’re such a dork!”

The night passed in a blur. You drank an excessive amount of alcohol, and after a while, the vibe in the club turned utterly hedonistic. When someone approached you with an assortment of party enhancements, you were shocked when Chris’s hand was the first to fly out for the trey. His only response was “live a little.” He made you look like such a prude sometimes. Since peer pressure always worked, you chose two items off the trey and took one of the rolled joints.

You danced, drank, puffed and passed to each other and allowed whatever you’d taken to take you higher than either of you had been in a long time. When you left the club and climbed into the back of a cab, you could see the sky beginning streak with the impending sunrise. Neither of you could stop laughing about any and every stupid thing. When you got back to your place, you stumbled inside and laughed a lot more before you made it to the living room floor where you sprawled out on.

“Oh my god, do you remember the last time we were high together?”

You snorted and laughed for a little while. “Nope, it’s been months though.”

“What did we take?”

“I don’t know, but all these colors are so vivid,” you responded.

“They are,” Chris answered. Both of you let out a united, “wow.”

Several minutes passed with the two of you lying on the floor in front of the big French window looking up at the sky. You had such a delicious high that nothing felt real or like it mattered. All of your senses were heightened. You could smell Chris’ cologne like you wore it and taste the last drink you had before leaving the club almost forty minutes ago. The material of your dress gently rubbed against your skin, and though it hadn’t felt bothersome before, it sure did now. Even the coolness of the floor felt incredible against your skin.

“Why’d we never get together, Y/N?”

Your snort was loud, louder than it should have been.

“Shut up. You’re so stupid.”

He laughed right along with you before he stopped. “I wanna know. We’ve been friends since we were eleven. I knew you before you got boobs,” Chris reminisced.

Again, you couldn’t help but snicker.

“And I knew you before your balls dropped,” you countered. Neither of you could keep a straight face with that one.

“See. So why?”

You sighed and lifted your leg into the air, not expecting that your heel would fly right off and across the room to knock something onto the floor with a loud clatter. That set you both off laughing uncontrollably.

“Because I know everything about you, and you know everything about me,” you informed.

“Some would say that’s a good thing.”

Looking to your left at him, you scoffed and shook your head. “Not for us. I know too much. We’d never work. Our uglies won’t play well together,” you finished before looking back to the sky.

“Well, I think everything would play well together,” Chris countered this time.

You shook your head and sat up to reach the bar that you knew was close by. Raising onto your knees, you grabbed the first bottle you could reach then dropped down onto your elbows to look at it.

“What’d ya get?”

You looked at him with a wide smile. “Hennessey. How adventurous are you feeling?”

“Crack it open,” Chris answered with a strong Bostonian accent. You opened the bottle and brought it to the head for a few gulps before handing it off to Chris. Then you leaned back on the ottoman that was there. You watched him take his gulp. He wrinkled his nose and blew out.

“How would you handle my tendency to push people away?”

Chris looked at you, took another gulp from the bottle, and blew out a breath again.

“Hmm—not let you push me away.”

You rolled your eyes at his genius plan. “Great plan, dork. How would I handle your tendency to be a flirtatious dick?”

He smiled his signature Chris Evans smile and lifted both his eyebrows. “By knowing I only have eyes for you.”

You snorted and shook your head before you grabbed the bottle. “Bullshit,” you said before bringing it to your head.

“I’m being serious right now,” Chris protested louder than necessary.

“You’re drunk. That is the only reason why you’re bringing this up.”

“Okay, yes. I’m drunk and high as fuck, but that does not make the question any less valid.”

He was being his annoyingly persistent self. Usually, this trait would be a good thing, endearing even, but when he was drunk, it was anything but endearing.

“What do you want from me, Chris?”

“You’ve never thought about us?”

“There is no us,” you pointed out.

“I know that, but you’ve never thought about it?”

You didn’t hesitate with your answer. “No. I mean, not really.”

“I’ve thought about it,” Chris admitted.

You had to laugh then. He was really venturing into unchartered territory. You’d never talked about anything like this before.

“Shut up. You have not!”

“I have. It was brief, but I thought about it,” Chris confessed.

The two of you were silent for a while. Your mind was running as fast as it could, which wasn’t that fast because of whatever party enhancements you’d taken. You couldn’t wrap your head around this conversation.

“And?” Your curiosity was not impaired, though.

“And what?”

“Did we work in your brief thought?”

Chris took a deep breath and grabbed the bottle and took another healthy gulp.

“I don’t know. It was like a flash of a few instances. We seemed—happy.”

“Liar. We probably argued like cats and dogs.”

Your laugher intermingled before you both fell silent again, just watching the sky change its hue.

“Nah—we were good together like always,” Chris finished.

You took the bottle and took three big gulps and almost gagged from the burn in your throat that rushed to burst into flames in your belly. You were quiet for a few minutes, but it was you who looked at him first. Sensing your eyes on him, he looked to you, and the two of you just gazed at each other. It was the two of you who moved in simultaneously before hesitating just when your lips were going to touch. Some part of you said stop, but it was a small, quiet part, every other part of you was telling you to do it.

When your lips touched neither of you moved, you stayed there, letting it sink in. When you did move, it was a slow and cautious kiss. Your lips pressed and brushed together in an intimate way that was foreign for the context of your relationship. Though it was foreign, it felt good. After what must have been minutes, Chris deepened the kiss, plunging his tongue into your mouth to curl around yours. A moan escaped you, and as if that moan was the hammer that destroyed whatever wall and gate that kept the two of you from going down this path. Chris moaned after you, and it was a new sound for you. You rose onto your knees at the same time Chris did the same thing. He cupped your skull and kissed you more earnestly. Your hand gripped his waist and loved the heat radiating off him.

You kissed him back with as much passion and yearning he kissed you. For several long minutes, that is all you did. It was a feeling to relish, a feeling you wanted more of. You were the first to begin to undo his shirt. When Chris felt your finger graze his chest, he pulled his lips from yours to peer into your eyes. You were focused on his shirt and the goal you had—to get his clothes off. Once the buttons were undone, you pushed his shirt off and looked over his exposed skin. He had buffed up, you thought. When your eyes met, neither of you moved for quite a while. It was as if both of you were taking in the moment and fully acknowledging the line you were about to cross.

Your lips crashed together, and from there, no one could tell where he began, and you ended. Your moans echoed in the quiet room. Chris’s hands touched you everywhere, the back of your head, your neck, the small of your back and your ass. His large hands cupped your bottom and pulled you flush against him. When he pulled your head back by your hair, he latched his lips onto your neck, which had you biting onto his shoulder as you enjoyed the sensations of his lips on your skin. When he nibbled your ear lobe, you threw your head back but grabbed at his pants and began unbuckling his belt. Your movements were quick.

You felt Chris lower the zipper down your spine then trail his finger along your skin until he reached the back of your neck. Once there, he gripped you and angled your head, so you looked at him. You could see nothing but desire in his eyes, and that was all you cared about. You kissed him again and took control. You teased his tongue then nibbled his bottom lip as you finally got his pants open. Chris then peeled your dress off your body, revealing your naked body to him for the first time since you were twelve.

He looked enflamed as if the sight of you set him on fire. You grabbed the bottle from the floor and gulped a mouthful before holding it out to him. You laid back onto the floor just as Chris accepted the bottle and took two gulps from it before he put it to the side and lowered his head to your breast. He sucked it into his mouth and teased it along with the mouthful of Hennessey. As he explored your skin for the first time, you hugged his head to you and arched your back, feeding him even more of your flesh.

Chris brought his lips to your other breast and did the same before he ended on a forceful nibble. He trailed kisses down the center of your body. When he got to your belly button, you watched as he dribbled the remainder of the liquor in it. The wayward glance he offered you only set you on fire even more. He languidly slurped the liquid from the indentation and used his tongue to swirl around it to ensure he got it all then peeled the rest of the dress off of your body with help from your lifted legs.

Slowly Chris spread your thighs and looked between them at your black lace thong. After looping his thumbs at the waist of the garment, he pulled them off of you. When he got the first glimpse of your sex, he sucked in a breath then groaned.

“Fuck, you’re gorgeous!” That was the only thing he said before he buried his face between your thighs and began demonstrating all the ways he was good with his mouth. He expertly flicked his tongue across your clit before he sucked it into his mouth only to repeat the action from before. He did it in a dizzying pattern, one that had you on edge and needing more.

You buried your fingers in his hair and held his head in place and began bucking your hips across his lips. His moan was one of approval. He liked that you were using his face to get yourself off that turned you on even more. Chris pressed your thighs back to the cool floor and held them there then took control of the way he ate your pussy. In seconds you saw stars and found yourself panting and muttering incoherently. You didn’t care that you were getting loud; all you cared about was him keeping his pace. Chris dipped his tongue into your heat, and you lost your shit. Screeching out, you came on his mouth as you bucked even more wildly truing to milk and prolonging the pleasure you felt.

“Mmmm, you taste so fucking good. I could eat this pussy all night,” Chris huskily purred. The dim light that poured in behind him bathed him, making him look like some sort of heavenly creature. He was gorgeous, and you began to wonder if he’d always been gorgeous or were you seeing him in a new light. Chris lowered his head to kiss your inner thigh. Then he dropped a suctioned kiss to your clit that renewed the fire you felt. Lifting your legs, you pushed at his pants, hinting for him to take them off.

Answering your silent plea Chris arched over you, allowing you to use your feet to free him of the confining material. The loud clatters of him kicked off his shoes echoed in the room, but then he remained hovered over your body, showcasing his incredible upper body strength and giving you the first look of grown-up Chris. His cock was long, thick, and mesmerizing. Long gone were the days of him having a skinny pale-looking worm, he’d grown nicely.

“I know what you’re thinking,” Chris breeched. You raised an eyebrow and waited for him to continue.

“You’re thinking about the first time you saw it when we were eleven. It looks a lot different now.”

You smiled and wrapped your legs around his waist. “I promise I know what to do with it now,” Chris finished with a smirk.

“Prove it,” you whispered. He shook his head and, but you could see the fire in his eyes. He liked a challenge; he liked feeling like he had something to prove. He crashed his lips to yours again and stole your breath in seconds. You moaned on him and wrapped your arms around his back. The way the muscles there danced and spasmed had you moaning even more.

When you felt him press forward to sink the tip of his intrusion in, you gasped on his mouth and angled your head back, giving him unrestricted access to your neck. Chris groaned as he buried his face in the crook of your neck and continued sinking into you. With each agonizingly slow glide, you came that much closer to falling apart. He stretched you so deliciously, so perfectly that your body began to shake. In no way were you prepared for the size of him, and he was blowing your mind with just what the good Lord blessed him with. It sure didn’t look like much when you were kids. After him feeding you half of his length, you gripped him tightly, which had him grunting before fully thrusting into you.

“Fuck!” Both of you shouted out together, him feeling the full heat of your body and you claiming your second release of the night.

Chris took several deep breathes then slowly pulled back, leaving only the tip of him before he looked down to watch as he filled you to the hilt once again. A whimper escaped him before he did it again, and again and again. Each time he snapped his hip forward more forcefully, and each time your eyes rolled to the back of your head. Chris began to move within you like a wave ebbed at the shore. His eyes met yours, and the moment became even more intense.

After a few minutes, Chris was rocking in and out of you to his own rhythm. It was clear he had one goal, and it was to bring you as much pleasure as possible. his lips tasted every part of your upper body, neck, shoulder, earlobe, collar, nipple and each time he tasted of you he acted as if your skin was the sustenance he needed. After your third orgasm, you flipped him onto his back and rocked your hips against him. Chris arched his back and spread his arms out beside him as he released a deep groan.

He watched your body move and allowed you to take your pleasure from him. Every time you rocked forward, you felt him lurch within you, and after the fourth time, you were addicted to the feeling. Using his abdomen as leverage, you bounced on him as you rocked, changing the angle of which he pumped into you and the intensity of the sensations. Chris gripped your hips and held you where you were before he pumped up into your core.

“Ah, shit, yes! Mmm, fuck me!”

With the demand, you were on your back once again with your ankles on his shoulders, and him hovered over you as he fucked you better then you could remember ever having it done before. He was reaching places you’d forgotten were there. Your skin was peppered with goosebumps, and every time he stoked that sweet spot in you, your whimpers picked up. When you heard Chris’ moans, you used his shoulders as a brace to begin rolling your body like a wave giving as good as you got.

“Fuck!” The way Chris looked at you said he hadn’t expected you to do that, and he was quickly losing his shit. You dropped your legs and pushed him away. You had the strongest urge to have him in your mouth. Quickly you rose to a sitting position before you bent down to lick at his cock.

Chris sucked in a long breath and groaned out with every inch you sank into your mouth. When your lips wrapped around his entire shaft, Chris gripped your head and groaned loudly.

“Oh my god.” You pulled back and repeated the action before you sped your movements. You knew he was close; you could feel it with everything in you. Bringing your hand to join your lips, you worked him with a pattern you knew would be his finisher. As you swirled your tongue around him, he let out a shriek that was music to your ears. Chris sank back onto his heels, then panted and groaned.

“Fuck, you’re gonna make me cum.” Locking eyes with him, you moaned on him but sped your lips. He knew what you intended, and he was powerless to stop you. After the fourth lodge in your throat, you moaned, and just like that, he came. You moaned and took everything he had. Several long moments later, you pulled your mouth free and moaned with a cocky smile. Chris’ jaw was dropped with a look of sheer disbelief on his face.

You grabbed the bottle and took a mouthful of the brown liquor and moaned as the flavorful liquid washed down the mouthful he’d just given you.

“Fuck outta here,” Chris chided, letting his accent shine through. He then grabbed the bottle, took a gulp of his own, and grabbed you before he pushed you over the ottoman. In seconds he’d sank into you again like he hadn’t just come. He was more than ready.

This round, he was in full control, and he used his control to show you just how much he’d grown and how much he knew now. Long gone were the days of him experimenting and practicing. He was a big boy now, and he was fucking you the way big boys did—roughly, deeply and thoroughly. You screamed his name and panted with every snap of his hips into you. When he grabbed your hair to pull you back against him to then gently grab your throat, you lost it. Never in your life had you been into this kind of play, but with him right now, the forceful and dominating way he held you and commanded your body was making you weak and ready to let him take it any way he wanted.

From the ottoman, you moved to one of your couches where he used it at a perch for his foot to give you a deeper, more intense angle that sent you over the edge. From there, he pressed you against the cold window tempting anyone who dared look in to watch as he fucked the life out of you. When you finally came again, you were back on the floor with him over you, giving you slow, deep strokes that were next to impossible to take, but you took it. You took every fucking thing he gave.

-The Next Day-

The sound of the passing garbage truck and then street sweeping machine stirred you wake. Groaning, you sat up only to get shriek when the harsh light beamed down into your face. Shielding your eyes, you waited for them to adjust before you peeped through them and to your right. Your head was pounding, and everything you looked at was blurry.

“Oh my god,” you groaned. Waiting a few minutes, you sat there feeling worse than you’d felt in a long, long time. When you looked to your right again, you saw the nearly empty bottle of Hennessey and groaned.

“Uuugh, fuck you, Henny,” you groaned out before you opened your eyes wider.

You felt a body beside you shift, and then you felt the unmistakable nudge of a dick against you. Your head snapped to the right to see Chris lying there shirtless with your throw blanket draped haphazardly across his man parts. Your jaw dropped as panic began to set in. You looked at yourself and saw you were topless and that the same throw was across your lap as well.

Slapping your hand across your mouth in an attempt to keep any sound from escaping, you began to hyperventilate. Again, the nudge of a dick pressed more forcefully against you. You were horrified but filled with a strange curiosity that you fought with every fiber of your being. You were afraid to move. It was as if you thought if you didn’t move, then none of this would be real. It wouldn’t be real that you’d just had sex with your best friend. So, without moving, you sat there and stared out the window before you.

You don’t know how long you just stared out the window in a daze, but you felt when Chris woke. His groan said he too felt the pounding in his head. You decided not to look his way; this would only get worse that way. You remembered everything.

“Oh—fuck,” Chris whispered. You nodded, knowing the weight of everything had set in. He sat up beside you, but neither of you spoke, you just stared out the window in front of you.

After a few moments, you couldn’t handle being this close, and you got up to realize you were completely naked. Chris instinctively looked over you before he shook his head and looked away.

“Oh fuck,” he repeated. You hurried away toward the second couch and took the other throw blanket and wrapped yourself in it before walking out toward the kitchen. You needed coffee.

As you worked the almost five-thousand-dollar espresso machine in your kitchen, you went over everything that happened the night before. The more you remembered, the more panicked you became. When Chris came into the kitchen, he was dressed with his shirt unbuttoned enough, showing his chest tattoos. He approached the espresso machine as you turned to walk away from it. Your bodies bounced, and with it came another memory of the night before. You abruptly turned and went the opposite way to sit at the nook. You sat in silence while staring into the cup of coffee.

Chris sat with you, but he also remained quiet for several more minutes.

After a few sips of coffee, he spoke, “Soooo, that happened.”

“Did it? Do you actually remember it happening?”

Chris nodded slowly as his facial expressions became more and more animated. “Uh—yeah. I remember a lot of things,” Chris answered.

“Oh, god.” You rubbed your forehead and took a big gulp of the black sludge in your white ceramic cup.

“Where did you learn to do that thing with your mouth?”

“Chris!” Your shock was evident.

“Sorry. Right not important.”

The silence returned and stretched as both of you still struggled to wrap your heads around the last eighteen hours.

“Have you always been able to make it jump like that?”

Chris paused his coffee cup filled hand in midair as he glanced at you. “Did you like it?”

“Shut up, shut up, shut up. Not important,” you drilled.

Again, you were silent, just sipping away at your coffee, refusing to address the enormous elephant in the room.

“What about the way you squeezed me? How’d you learn that?”

You slapped your hand to your face. “Oh my god, Chris. We have to forget what happened. It shouldn’t have happened,” you began.

“Yeah, but how do we forget it all? It was a lot. You did things to me—whooo, no good catholic woman knows how to do what you did,” Chris admitted as your jaw dropped.

“Shut up. You’re the one to talk. You’re no good catholic boy. Does your mother know what you do with that mouth?”

When the two of you began laughing together, the tension between you fell away, and you were left with the normal way you always talked. It was comfortable.

“Oh my god,” you groaned out again.

“I don’t want anything to be weird,” Chris quietly began as he looked at you. You nodded your agreement. That was the last thing you wanted too.

“It won’t be. It was a one-time thing. We were really, really, really fucked up.”

“One-time thing,” Chris repeated as you both nodded in agreement.

You finished your coffee and made him a quick bowl of oatmeal that you shared. Though both of you tried to ignore the elephant and forget it was there, it wasn’t so easy. You caught his eyes on the parts of your body the throw exposed as you moved, and you recognized the look on his face. You were sure he caught the way your eyes stayed glued to his exposed chest or his hands as he used them. All you could think about was the way he’d touched you, and the feel of his weight hover you.

You were now in this weird limbo place, and you didn’t know what to make of it. You knew, though, that you didn’t want to lose what you had.

“Ah damnit,” Chris hissed as he looked at his watch.

“You gotta go,” you informed. He nodded and confirmed.

“I have an appearance to film before my flight out.”

“Yeah. Go, go. It’s cool. We’ll talk,” you rushed out.

“You’re sure?”

“Yes, Chris, get to work.” You smiled, then stood and led the way to the front door. Chris made sure he had everything he needed and stopped in front of it facing you.

“Uh—thank you for last night,” he awkwardly began. You quirked your eyebrow and scrunched your face.

“Uh---.”

“Weird?”

“I mean, it’s like you’re thanking me for sex,” you informed.

“Fair enough. At least I’m not shoving an envelope of a few thousands in your hand,” Chris teased before he got a slap to the gut.

“No thank yous, no I’m sorries, just—go.”

He nodded and came in to kiss your cheek awkwardly. Your eyes met, and they lingered before he pulled back to kiss your forehead. After he did, he turned to walk out the door.

“Jesus,” you whispered.

All you wanted to do was bury your head under your blankets, but you knew you’d obsess over the entire night and think about it way too much. You also knew the chances of you overthinking it and making things worse were almost guaranteed. You decided to keep yourself busy. For the remainder of the day, you ran errands, cleaned your house, and did everything not to give yourself any time to sit and think.

By the time evening came, you got a text from Chris letting you know he was lifting off and that he’d call when he landed. Your reply was typical Y/N.

MSG: Eh, don’t worry about calling. It’s not necessary. Have a safe flight.

When you asked him how he’d handle when you pushed him away, you were being honest. He knew you had this tendency. Even though you told him it wasn’t necessary, he still called. You watched it ring and ring until it ended. That was how things went for the majority of the weeks that passed. Every time he called, you either ignored it entirely and pretended it never happened or sent a meager text a few hours later, apologizing for missing his call. You’d then text back and forth in intervals thanks to his busy schedule until one of you—usually, you let the conversation fade.

A week passed, then two, then four until seven had passed where you’d barely spoken or texted. You knew you were being super weird about things even when you were the one to promise things wouldn’t be weird. You also knew that you were pushing him away, and it was the absolute opposite of what you wanted to do. It was apparent in how you kept up with him in the tabloids and news articles. Every time he had an accomplishment, you cheered for him while sending a dry text showing your support. It was usually a text he responded to with the same dryness.

In that time, you used your work as a crutch and excuse to pile more on to keep busy. You stayed so busy that you ignored the signs of exhaustion your body was sending you. When you passed out at work from severe dizziness, you finally listened and took the rest of the day off to work at home. While in the cab and tapping away in an email, you felt the first bout of nausea. That one feeling had you opening your calendar to go over your dates. When you realized you were over six weeks late, you nearly passed out again.

After stopping by a pharmacy for not one or two but eight pregnancy tests, you beelined it home. It took you a whole hour to get the nerve to take them. You kept putting it off and doing everything else but. Once you took them, you sat on your bathroom floor, surrounded by pregnancy tests. You tried your best to keep your head clear and not think any thoughts. Your phone went off for the fourth time, signifying that the five minutes needed had passed long ago. You’d sat on the floor for twenty minutes, unable to look at not even one test.

“Come on Y/N. You fought for everything in your life. You’re successful, financially comfortable, just look at the damn test.” You took several deep breathes and looked down at the first test to see two double lines.

“Oh.”

You moved on to the next one and bugged your eyes, seeing another pair of double lines. Quickly you moved to the next and read the word “pregnant” in the clear blue window. As you looked around you, each and every text showed double lines, a plus sign, or the word “pregnant.” You couldn’t believe what you were seeing.

You were pregnant with your best friend’s baby.

You were pregnant with Chris’ baby.

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#light of morning fic #Chris Evans #chris evans fanfiction #chris evans x reader #chris evans x you #chris evans x black reader #black fanfiction #chris evans smut

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