#honestly woke up and read this and like. it's so detailed. please im never this detailed in requests askfjlafjklasdf | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

watchmegetobsessed · 3 years

Text

IN YOUR MEMORIES

a/n: alright so this was inspired by an amazing fic called Graveyard by @wkemeup if you haven’t read it... WHAT ARE YOU WAITING FOR??? honestly, i was amazed by the whole idea of having to “pay a price” for a super power and i’ve been really itching to try myself out in this concept, so that’s what this story is. im really excited to share this with you guys so i hope you’ll like it!

pairing: Bucky X Reader

warnings: a hell lot of Bucky’s past pain, a little bit of angst aaand idk im really bad with these warnings

word count: 7.6k

masterlist

“I’ve been trying to figure out an effective way to help him, but it’s been more complicated than I expected. None of my ideas were good enough to even attempt them.” Shuri lets out a frustrated sigh as you stare at the peaceful face of the sleeping man in front of you in the cryo pod. The glass in front of his face is frosty, but you can still make his sharp features out, his chiseled jawline under the stubble, the elegant line of his nose and the thick lashes fanning over his cheeks as his eyes are shut closed.

“His whole mind needs to be rewired, his corrupted memories should be replaced or wiped out so the trigger words wouldn’t work any longer, but I can’t do that on my own.”

Tearing your gaze away from the man you look at her, an apologetic expression adorning her features, because she swore you’d find shelter in Wakanda, a place where you can be just like anyone else and yet, she is now asking you to use your power.

“Do you think he would let me help him?” you ask, glancing back at the man. Bucky, as Shuri called him, doesn’t look as old as he was said to be. A hundred and six years is a lot for a human like him, though he is not as mortal as others on the planet. Shuri told you about the experiments he had to endure through his life and even though you haven’t even touched his mind, you could feel the pain inside you.

“He is desperate to get rid of his dark side, I think he would do anything.”

Reaching up your fingers graze the glass over his face before you plant your whole palm onto it, trying to feel him even under the surface and ice. Eyes shutting close, you take a deep breath as you let your senses open up and find your way to the man.

Because of the cryo pod, you don’t feel him the way you usually do. It’s like he is just an echo in a huge empty room, you can’t make out his whole mind, but he is there. And even with him sleeping under the ice, you still can feel the despair and pain he had to go through as an innocent man. You know he deserves to be saved, he deserves to be freed from his own past and you are his only chance as of right now.

“Wake him up,” you simply tell Shuri before turning around to go back to your room that was assigned to you upon your arrival in the palace.

Bucky doesn’t feel like he has been asleep under the ice for more than just a few hours. It felt like a nap, but in reality he woke up months after the day he closed his eyes.

Shuri welcomed him with the news that the cure has been found and it’s time for him to get rid of the Winter Soldier for once and for all. She didn’t say much about the method, just told him to get ready by the afternoon. He was never one to question the genius young girl so he just obeyed.

After a hot shower he shaved and took the time to get accustomed to the prototype of the vibranium arm Shuri left for him. It’s not the final version, a lot of details need work, but it’s good enough for his everyday life for a while.

The world hasn’t seemed to change since he last saw it. Wakanda is just as flourishing and vibrant as he remembered, a truly spectacular place in his opinion. He wonders how his friends have been, what Steve is doing, if Natasha is alright… Is Tony still fuming after their last encounter? He probably is.

When it’s time, he leaves his room and heads to Shuri’s lab for their meeting. The guards let him in with just a nod, like he is an old friend and he finds Shuri at her computer as always. The girl beams upon seeing him again, complimenting on his freshly shaved look.

“So what did you invent for me, smartpants?” he smiles at her gently. Bucky owes a lot to Shuri and her brother, they took him in when he wasn’t welcomed anywhere else and now she is about to give him his life back. After this, he’ll forever owe her and her family.

“Well, it’s not my invention this time,” she chuckles shaking her head. Bucky is about to question her when the doors open again, both of them turning in the direction just to see you walk in. His eyebrows knit together at the sight of you, not entirely sure what it’s supposed to be. “Mr. Barnes, let me introduce you to Y/N. Y/N, this is Sergeant Barnes.”

You walk closer, Bucky’s icy blue eyes are glued to your form as you stop a few feet away from him, holding out a hand shyly.

“It’s nice to meet you, Sergeant James Barnes,” you smile softly as his flesh hand takes yours and shakes it gently.

Bucky is enamored with you instantly. He has never seen someone as delicate, soft and charming as you are, your whole aura just demands his attention and he wants to know everything about you. But he also notices that though you look a lot like any other human on the planet, he is convinced you are not from Earth.

What he doesn’t know is that the moment your hands touch, you can hear his thoughts and you can’t push down your smile at how well he is at inspecting his surroundings.

“Just call me Bucky, please,” he nods before your hands let go of each other and his thoughts quiet down again in your head.

“To answer your suspicion, I’m rorm a planet called Lortena. Life on my planet looks a lot like humans here on Earth, but our lifespan is a little longer and some of us have gifts, as my mother always liked to call them.”

“How did you—“ “How did I know what you thought?” you ask with a small smile, finishing his sentence as he nods in complete awe. “I’m what you might call… a mind reader. But my abilities go a little farther than just reading minds,” you admit and his lips part at the revelation.

Bucky glances over at Shuri, part of him thinking it’s some kind of joke or witchcraft, but the girl smiles back at him with an assuring nod.

“Why don’t we sit down and have a chat? I’m sure you have a lot of questions,” Shuri suggests patting Bucky’s shoulder before the three of you head into her conference room.

Though you’re not touching Bucky, you can sense his confusion and hunger to learn more about you. He is curious about what else you are capable of and though the news about your abilities are still quite odd to him, you can tell that he isn’t trying to shut you out entirely. He just has some reservations for now.

Bucky knows it’s rude to stare, but he can’t stop himself from inspecting you. Knowing that you are not from this planet is already enough for him to get his mind racing, especially because you look just like any other humans on Earth. But the little trick you did on him was enough of a convincing for him to believe that you are from somewhere else.

The three of you sit to the table and Shuri takes the lead to start the conversation.

“While you were asleep, Sergeant, life went on and we had a lot going on,” she smiles, her eyes falling on you. “Y/N is a refugee from her planet, Lortena. There’s a war going on there and she was sent away because she was a primary target. She wasn’t supposed to end up here, but there was a little mishap during her journey and landed in Wakanda.”

“Are you targeted because of your… powers?” Bucky asks, hoping he is not asking anything offensive.

“No,” you shake your head. “It’s because I’m the king’s daughter.”

“Oh!” he breathes out.

Great, so she is not only a breathtakingly beautiful creature with superpowers, but she is royal as well, he thinks to himself.

“And how… where do your… powers come from? Is that a usual thing on your planet?”

“Not quite,” you chuckle softly.

You give a glance at Shuri who nods and brings up a hologram of Loki’s scepter with the mind stone in it. Bucky is already familiar with them, but he is curiously listening to find out what it has to do with you.

“Long before the mind stone was trapped into the scepter, it was in our possession. We used it as out main power source, kept locked away from preying eyes and hands. We all knew it’s capable of more than what we use it for, but we didn’t want to risk it and use it for the wrong purposes.”

The hologram changes and now the mind stone is on display on its own.

“But not everyone agreed with that. A couple hundred years ago there was a war for the stone. Though our people sacrificed everything to protect it, they didn’t succeed entirely. Unfortunately, the attackers didn’t know how great the stone’s power is. In the midst of the chaos, there was an explosion caused by the stone. Almost everyone present was killed, only seven survived and they were blessed with different powers coming from the stone.”

Bucky’s lips part as his eyes flicker over to you from the stone in the middle of the table, while you are staring at the hologram remembering back the stories your parents told you growing up. He feels like he is being shared with an ancient legend, a piece of history that is a privilege to know.

“The powers they were gifted with were held at great heights after the war was over. And while some of them could pass it on to their children, some couldn’t. The seven became four, then just two and there was one left. My grandmother. When my father didn’t show any signs of the stone’s power it was believed the magic was gone forever, but then I was born and…”

“And you had the powers,” Bucky chimes in, completely in awe of your origin story. You nod with a shy smile as the hologram of the stone disappears in the middle of the table.

“Yes.”

“And why is there a war on your planet right now?”

“Because though it’s been a miracle that I inherited my grandmother’s powers, the people want to get the stone back and have more of its powers. Unfortunately, the stone was lost through the years and I was informed that Thanos got a hold of it some time ago,” you explain, turning to Shuri for assurance about the accuracy of your words and she nods. “Who then gave it to Loki and now it’s in the scepter. People were demanding my father to start a war for the stone to get it back to Lortena, but he refused to sacrifice his army to get the stone back from a titan.” Sighing you lean back in your seat as you think about your home, your family that was left behind when your father sent you away because he was afraid the rebels would use you to get to him.

“The stone is not at Thanos’ any longer,” Bucky speaks up and your eyes find him as you snap out of your thoughts.

“I was informed of that as well. It’s um… it’s Vision’s now, right?” They both nod. “Well, the rebels think it’s Thanos’ and you better hope it stays that way. Because if they figure out that the titan doesn’t have it any longer, they won’t hesitate to attack you for the stone.”

Bucky’s jaw clenches at the thought of another war to take part in, but also because you had to go through such terrible events because of other’s greediness.

“I’ve been trying to find a solution to help you since you’ve gone to sleep, but I wasn’t able to come up with any,” Shuri speaks up. “But then Y/N arrived and I think she could be the one to do the job.”

“You think you can do that?” Bucky asks, eyebrows pulled together. “What else can you do, other than reading minds?”

You feel hesitant revealing the depths you’re able to reach with your abilities and you’re afraid he would find it too invading after everything he has been through. You want to help him but he has to let you. Though you’re powerful, if someone resists your attempts, the outcome won’t be the same as if they cooperated.

“If you let me… I can change your memories. I can make them appear differently in your head so what they did to you won’t have an effect on you any longer.”

Bucky’s jaw twitches. He has no idea what he was expecting, but not this for sure. Letting another person get into his head, play with his mind like it’s just a toy, it’s something he vowed not to let anyone do it again. But as he stares back at you, he can tell the difference between you and the monsters who ruined his head before. He is at a safe place and everyone here wants what’s good for him.

“It only works if you let me do it,” you add and notice how he presses his lips together into a thin line.

“I would do anything to get rid of him. So… I’m in,” he nods at last and you let out a relieved sigh.

You’ve never tried to corrupt so much of someone’s memories before and you’re not sure how long it will take to complete the task so you requested to start the next day, giving you some time to get ready physically and mentally and of course, for Bucky to get himself ready for his mind to yet again get taken apart by someone else.

Not having much to really do since your arrival other than helping Shuri out occasionally at the lab or giving assistance for T’Challa around the palace, you’ve been able to explore your temporary home in the heart of Wakanda.

There is a hidden terrace near your room, one that’s not well-known even by the people living in the palace and you like the peace and calm whenever you are out there, surrounded by flowers and plants in hand-painted pots, some of them were made by yourself, watching over the breathtaking view of Wakanda in front of you, the sky turning from bright blue to shades of orange, pink, purple and eventually black as the Sun goes down behind the hills.

Tonight, this is where you are seeking peace again, sorting your thoughts out about what you’ll have to face tomorrow. Your power has a lot of benefits but it has its curses as well. You’ve only attempted to do something similar before and you had to learn the hard way what price you have to pay for having control over someone else’s mind, thoughts and memories.

Your brother was tragically killed in an uprising when he was only seventeen and you were ten. It was the result of a series of unfortunate event, he was at the wrong place at the wrong time, no one could help him. Your mother broke under the pain of losing her own child and you listened to her cries every and each night for months before you decided that you needed to help her. She didn’t want to let you even try, afraid it might take too much of you to help her, but you insisted and she eventually gave in. You altered her memories and feelings about your brother’s death, only left her with the ones that bring her joy and happiness, but your gesture demanded a price you weren’t ready to pay.

Upon your own grief for your brother, you had to bear your mother’s as well, the pain of two people clutching your heart and mind in return for your mother’s happiness. You never told her how you cried yourself to sleep every night for an entire year, how you could barely control your dark flashbacks and the constant darkness that was pulling you down. No one knew what you had to go through just to see your mother smile again and you made sure it stayed that way. However, you didn’t dare to do it again, not entirely sure if you could handle the pain one more time.

You surprised yourself when you offered your help to Bucky. You don’t even know him, yet you are willing to take his pain and make it yours just so he can live a somewhat normal life. Though his memories and nightmares won’t torture you as long as they would have did with him, you’ll still have to fight his demons and he won’t even know it. Then why are you doing this?

You have no answer to that. Seeing him for the first time you just had a feeling that you have to do it, that he is worthy of it all and that you want to be the person to free him.

The glass door opens behind you as you’re watching the Sun disappear on the horizon and you’re surprised to see Bucky walk out to the terrace, stopping in his tracks once he notices you sitting on one of the wooden chairs.

“Oh, I’m sorry. I didn’t think anyone would be here,” he mumbles, his gaze snapping down at the floor.

“That’s what I thought too,” you chuckle.

“I’ll leave you—“ he starts, ready to leave, but you stop him.

“You don’t have to. Feel free to join,” you tell him, gesturing towards the other chair. His hesitation is clear at first, but then he closes the door behind him and sits beside you.

Bucky watches the sunset in awe, but he can’t shake his curiosity towards you, having to control himself not to stare at you as he tries to figure you out. You’re not the only one who doesn’t understand why you’re doing this major gesture for him, he’s spent the afternoon trying to find any alternative motives that might explain your willingness to help him. He couldn’t find any and it left him with even more puzzles in his tortured head.

“What is it like on your planet?” he finds himself asking, breaking the long silence between the two of you.

“It’s not too different than here,” you admit truthfully. “Though our technology is a little more advanced,” you add with a soft chuckle. “In a way I’m happy I ended up here, because Wakanda reminds me of my home.”

“You miss it, don’t you? Your home?”

“Who doesn’t?” you ask with a soft smile and Bucky nods. He misses his home too, but in his case, it’s not a place but a time, decades ago, when he was his true self instead of the monster Hydra forced him to become.

“I’m sure it’ll be nice to return once the war is over,” he hums to himself and he expects a warm and positive reaction from you, however all he sees is pain and sadness in your eyes. “What is it?”

You hesitate to share it with him, staring back at him you think about keeping your thoughts to yourself, but how could you expect him to let you get into his head if you don’t share your thoughts with him willingly?

“Bucky, I don’t think I’ll ever return to my planet,” you breathe out as your gaze moves back to the scenery in front of you, the burning disk of the sun already hidden behind the hills.

“What do you mean?”

“The ship I came with can’t be fixed and they don’t know that I ended up here. It would take them too long to find me here and that’s if… If my family will be alive by then. I have no idea what’s happening there right now, if the rebels are winning or my father is able to keep things under control. I see very little likelihood of my return.”

Bucky’s heart aches for you, knowing well the pain you feel, he finds it ironic how the both of you are stuck so far away from your homes, seeking shelter at the same place at the same time.

He thinks it’s fate.

“What’s your favorite memory from your home?” he asks and you turn to him with soft and shining eyes. He is expecting you to tell him about it, but instead you decide to show it.

Grabbing his hand that’s closer to you, you bring it up to your face and make him cup the side of your head, his thumb brushing against your cheekbone as you close your eyes and recall the memory, planting into his head as well, taking him back, like the two of you could travel time and space just that easily.

Bucky can barely believe what he is experiencing but he finds himself inside your memory and it all seems so real, as if it was happening in the moment. He is standing in the middle of a meadow filled with luscious, green grass and some kind of flowers, whites and purples and yellows dancing in the soft breeze. At first he thinks he is alone, he doesn’t see you anywhere around him and then he spots a woman in a long, light pink dress, her hair waving behind her in the gentle summer breeze and then he spots a little girl running behind her.

Bucky walks closer to the woman, but she doesn’t acknowledge his presence, she doesn’t even look his way and when he reaches out to touch her arm, his hand goes right through her figure, as if she was just a ghost.

The little girl finally catches up with the woman, a handful of flowers in her hands and when looks up Bucky realizes that it’s you as a child. Your main features can still be found behind the round cheeks and pouty lips.

“Mom! I picked these for you!” your younger self beams, holding the little bouquet of flowers up to your mother, who takes it with a bright smile.

“So beautiful, my love!” she hums, sniffing the flowers as you giggle at her. “But why don’t we use them for something?”

“For what?” you ask with a curious look and Bucky can’t help the smile on his face. It’s such a pure and joyful memory, he almost wishes it was his.

Your mother sits down in the grass, her skirt fanning over her in a circle as she pulls you down to her lap with your back facing her before she combs her fingers gently through your hair and starts braiding it, sticking the little flowers into the braid as she moves down. You start singing some kind of song, one Bucky doesn’t know, and your mother smiles brightly at your chiming voice. She braids with so much care and precision, at the end it looks perfect and very much princess-like with the flowers littering around.

“There. Now you are a bouquet of flowers yourself, my love” she smiles at you, kissing your cheek before letting you out of her arms, watching you dance around in your dress, singing to yourself without a care in the world.

Bucky wants to stay there, more than anything and see more of your younger version and your mother, but he is abruptly pulled back into reality when you pull his hand back from your face and the connection stops. His eyes snap open and they find yours, so enamored and in awe of what he just experienced, he feels like he was let in on a secret no one else knows in the world.

“Wow. That was… amazing,” he breathes out as his hand drops back to his lap while you just smile back at him shyly. “Is that… Is that what it’s gonna be like when you…?”

“Not quite,” you shake your head. “You won’t feel anything, you’ll just have to think back to all the memories you want to be changed or wiped. I’ll be the one stuck in your memories like you were in mine. And from inside, I’ll be able to change them.”

“Will I know later which ones were altered or they won’t be different at all?”

“There’ll be… a kind of shine to them when you’ll think of them after that. It’s gonna be the only tell that they were touched by me. But I won’t change anything you don’t give your consent to.”

Bucky nods, having answered his biggest concerns about tomorrow. Now he feels like he trusts you completely and you’ll be the first person he can open his mind up to without a worry.

No matter how much you tried to get yourself ready for what you’d see in Bucky’s head, nothing could have prepared to the pain and darkness he had to endure during his oddly long human life. All the torture, the blood, the hurt and fear of death, it all comes down crashing on you even after the first session you have with him.

It breaks your heart that such a sweet soul had to go through Hell innocently and now he has to live with everything he was forced to do against his will. You can only hope that the people who did this to him have gotten their rightful punishment.

The first time the two of you sit down to start his treatment you get stuck in his head for hours, going through memories and altering them to take away anything that is connected to the trigger words. You witness the time he was captured and the first time he was sat into the chair that broke him. You can’t help the tears rolling down your face as you use all your power to change the memory and leave him with just a faded picture of his cell and held captive. Bucky asked you not to wipe them entirely, leave him with reminders of what made you be the way he is today and that’s exactly what you do.

When you finally come back you almost faint from exhaustion, Shuri catches you right in time before you could fall off the chair in front of Bucky’s who is equally dizzy, but he still manages to reach out and grab your hand to help you steady yourself. You feel drained and almost tortured, Bucky’s memories imprinting into your own head and you already know they will haunt you for quite some time. Not as long as your mother’s grief did, you were just a child back then and you couldn’t control your power that well, but even though you’ve learned to use your abilities, it will still take a couple of months for you to get rid of the horrors you saw in Bucky’s head.

Bucky sees how broken you look after just the first session and he doesn’t want to believe you’ll be strong enough to finish what you started.

“It’s fine,” you assure him when he asks you again in the evening if you surely want to continue. “I just have to rest and we can go on,” you tell him, giving his arm a squeeze before returning to your room.

That night, you wake from a burning nightmare with a scream, gripping onto the sheets with terror running through your veins. In your dream, you were the one strapped to that chair, going through all the pain Bucky had to bear decades ago. It was vivid and torturous and you know it’s going to return.

But you’re determined to finish the work and you do it over and over again, every day for the next couple of weeks. You go through all of Bucky’s darkest memories, altering and changing them until there’s nothing left from the Winter Soldier in him, just some faint and blurry pictures of him being held by his captors. You take all the pain and let it sink its claws into your own head, clouding your mind with darkness.

Bucky can feel the change in himself instantly after the first time you get into his head and a few days later he sleeps through the night for the first time in forever, oblivious to the fact that not far away from his room, you are fighting his demons every night so he can have his peace.

He is always the one to help you back into your room after an exhausting session and he wakes you up with breakfast in the mornings, always making your favorite. You tell him it’s not necessary, but he insists that this is the least he can do for everything you are doing for him, and he doesn’t even know the worst things you endure for his happiness.

He is always the one to request days off from the treatment, not for himself, but for you. He sees how trying it is and though you would never ask for time off, you don’t have to, because Bucky does it for you. Every third or fourth day he tells you he needs some time to heal and get used to his new mindset, but he just wants you to rest and recharge and though you know it too, you appreciate the gesture.

Some days he asks you to join him for walks just to get you out of the palace and you gladly say yes, desperately needing something to bring the light back into your life and it doesn’t take long to realize that Bucky is that light that can ease the heaviness of the pain you are fighting.

You love seeing his smile as the first thing in the morning, you love how he squeezes your hands every time before you dive into his head and how insists to carrying you to your room even when you’re perfectly capable of walking on your own. You love how chivalrous he is always, something Shuri told you was more common in the times he was born and you adore it that it’s a piece of his past self still present after everything he’s been through.

Bucky is the only one who can pull you out of the dark hole you’ve been stuck in and you promised yourself that you’ll never tell him the price you had to pay for his happiness, because he deserves every ounce of it and you wouldn’t want anything to cloud over it, not even your misery.

It takes five entire weeks to go through everything that turned him into the Winter Soldier and then the day to test if it has worked finally comes. Shuri has made sure to have a capsule ready for the test, one that would keep him under control in case you didn’t succeed and he would be triggered by the words he already knows too well.

“Are you sure I won’t hurt anyone?” Bucky asked cautiously as he was strapped into the capsule, a good majority of the Dora Milaje guarding the lab as well in case the test goes wrong, but both you and Shuri are optimistic about it.

“Calm down, Sergeant. We can handle you,” Shuri jokes before finishing up. “Alright, I’m gonna close this now, but you’ll be able to hear us and we’ll hear you as well,” she informs him and he just nods as she closes the capsule, securing him inside.

You sit on the side, but still close enough to see his face in the capsule. His icy blue stare finds yours and you give him a soft, encouraging smile. You do believe he won’t be triggered and not just because of what you did, but because he has a strong will and if there’s still any part of the Winter Soldier in him, he’ll be able to come over it.

“Okay, ready for the words?” Shuri asks him and breathing out he nods, closing his eyes, waiting for the inevitable.

“Желание,” comes the first word through a speaker and you hold your breath as you stare at his face through the capsule.

“Ржавый. Семнадцать,” the words carry on and you see him squeeze his eyes a little, fear taking over you that he might break, but it never happens. “Рассвет. Печь. Девять. Добросердечный…”

The trigger words ends and your lips part when his eyes open, noticing the tears in them as he finally realizes that he didn’t turn. The Winter Soldier is finally gone.

“Congratulations, Sergeant. You’re free,” Shuri announces as she opens the capsule and lets him out, sobs shaking from his chest before he is freed from the straps and able to step out of the capsule.

He is quick to rush over to you and wrap you in his embrace, both of you sobbing and crying and you hold onto him tight, as if he was just a memory that could vanish any moment, but he is there, flesh and metal, the Bucky you know and adore so much.

“Thank you, thank you, thank you,” he keeps repeating as his vibranium fingers tangle into your hair at the back of your head.

It’s been over a week of freedom for Bucky and he hasn’t felt better in his life, well, not in this decade. Without the sessions, he now has quite some free time on his hands that he prefers to spend with you, actually.

The two of you have been joined at the hips since his recovery and not just because Bucky feels like he owes his life to you, but because you both can’t help falling for the other in the light of your newly found friendship that’s starting to slowly turn into more.

Bucky hasn’t been shy about showing his adoration and gratitude towards you, not after you’ve seen the darkest side of him and could still look at him the same way. He feels like he has bared his entire soul to you and you accepted it gladly, so there’s no need to beat around the bushes.

However you’ve been still trying to keep him away from the secret you’re hiding. He can’t find out about the nightmares, the screams and the tears you shed every night when his demons come for you. You can’t let him get close enough to see the price you paid for his own happiness. But even with all the cautions you’ve been keeping, you still can’t stop fate from finding its way.

One night Bucky is staying up late, binge watching a series Shuri has recommended for him. He didn’t intend to stay up so late, but before he could realize how fast the time has passed, it was already past two in the morning.

Shutting the laptop down he decides to get himself some water before finally going to sleep. Padding his way down the dark and quiet hallways in only a pair of sweatpants and a tank top, he unintentionally takes the route that goes past your room. He didn’t plan on dropping by, knowing you’re probably asleep by now, just wanted to feel that sense of closeness even in the middle of the night, but his original plans immediately change when he hears your deafening scream coming from the other side of the door.

His blood freezes in his veins and he is quick to turn into combat mode, ready to fight whatever is threatening your life, but as he pushes his way into your room he doesn’t find any intruder, it’s just you, curled up on your bed and even under the thick layer of covers, he can see how badly you’re shaking, your beautiful face churned into a painful frown as you keep your eyes shut.

He immediately realizes that you’re having a nightmare.

He rushes over to the bed and sits to the edge, the mattress dipping underneath his weight as he carefully places a hand to your trembling shoulder.

“Y/N! Y/N, wake up!” he softly shakes you, trying to get you back to consciousness, but you keep tossing and whimpering, a thin layer of sweat covering your skin.

“No, no, please! I’m not the Winter Soldier!” you cry out and Bucky freezes, his jaw clenching at your words, an eerie feeling running down his spine.

“Y/N, it’s just a dream, wake up!” he tries again and your eyes finally shoot open.

Though you’ve woken up, you don’t instantly see what’s really happening around you and you are quick to flinch away from Bucky, pushing yourself to the far end of the bed as you stare back at him with fearful, wide eyes.

“It’s just me. It’s alright, it’s me, Bucky,” he softly reminds you holding his hands up so you can see them. Your chest is heaving and your hands are gripping the sheets so tight, your knuckles are turning white.

“Bucky,” you breathe out and he nods.

“Yeah, it’s me. You had a bad dream, I heard you scream.”

Letting out a shaky breath you close your eyes and try to shake the vivid images that haunted you tonight out of your head, with not much success. Tonight you were beaten up in a cold and dark cell, the man kept telling you that you’re just a monster, a soulless nobody as he kept hitting you before he reached for a weapon that sent electricity through your body until it was too numb to move at your will.

You know it was one of his memories, because you’ve seen this scene before in his head and you remembered it clearly. Only that last time you saw it happen to him and now you were the victim.

“Fuck,” you breathe out, loosening your muscles as you gain your contact back with reality.

“What was the nightmare about?” he quietly asks and your gaze snaps up to meet his. You can’t read his icy blue eyes and for a moment you think about touching him so you could hear his thoughts, but you promised yourself you would never use your powers on him.

“Just… some nonsense stuff,” you lie shaking your head.

“Didn’t sound like that.”

“What do you mean?”

“I heard you beg to someone, telling them that you’re not the Winter Soldier.”

His face hardens as he inspects you while you try your best to hide anything that would tell him more about what you’ve been keeping from him.

“I don’t… I don’t remember it,” you shrug, scooting closer to him as you fix your pillows.

“Y/N, I don’t need superpowers to know that you’re lying,” he retorts and you almost flinch at his words. “Are you having nightmares because of what you saw… in my head?”

For a split second you think about lying. You think about telling him that it’s just because of what you saw and not tell him the real reason of your nightmares, but guilt has been already eating you away for not telling him and you wouldn’t be able to lie straight into his face. So you shake your head and your eyes meet his icy gaze again.

“I’m having… your nightmares.”

He looks confused, eyebrows knitted together as he is tasting your words, not entirely sure about what you meant by them, so you go into the details you’ve been keeping hidden from him.

“I can’t just take memories away and turn them into nothing, Bucky. Memories can only vanish if they get forgotten with time,” you start explaining, hoping you can paint the picture as realistic as possible. “When I changed your memories, I took parts away and… made them mine. And now I have to be the one to fight and forget them, but it happens faster for me than it would have happened to you,” you quickly add, as if it could make it any better.

“Why didn’t you tell me this is the cost of my recovery?” he snaps, clearly mad at you and he has every right, but you just wanted to save him. “I would have never let you do it if it meant you’d be the one to suffer for me, Y/N!”

“I had the chance to help you, I wanted to give you the freedom you deserve!” Tears are stinging your eyes as you stare at his harsh expression, the soft and joyful Bucky you’ve seen these past weeks is now gone.

“But it’s not worth it if you are being tortured by my memories now!”

“It was worth to me!” you snap back, a tear rolling down you cheek. “I might have been selfish for keeping you the details of what it would take to free you, but now you are the one who is being selfish, because you wouldn’t have let me help you if you knew and that’s exactly why I didn’t tell you! I chose to do it and I knew what I was getting myself into and I knew what it’s gonna cost.” More and more tears run down your heated cheeks, soaking your skin before they drop to your shirt or the sheets covering your lower half. Bucky stares back at you in disbelief as you reason about why you did it exactly. “You deserved this second chance and I was your only chance. If I didn’t do it for you, I would have had to live with the guilt forever that I let an innocent man suffer. It’s a small price for the happiness I was able to give you.”

Bucky is in total shock. He has had Steve do selfless shit for him plenty of times, hell, he wouldn’t even be here if it wasn’t for him, but what you did is just above everything that’s been ever done for him and he is having a hard time accepting that anyone would put up with so much pain and suffering for him willingly. He can’t decide if he wants to scream and shout at you for being so stupid or if he wants to fall to his knees and glorify your name till the end of times.

When you realize that he won’t snap at you again, you carefully scoot closer until you can reach out and touch his face, but you don’t even try to read his thoughts. Not this time. You let his thoughts wrapped in the darkness of the unknown. Bucky melts against your touch, his eyes fluttering closed for a few moments.

“You shouldn’t have done this, Y/N.”

“But I did,” you breathe out with a bitter chuckle. “And it can’t be undone, so you better accept it.”

He cracks a tiny smile, but it quickly vanishes as a thought pops into his head.

“If you have the memories that made me into the Winter Soldier, how come you don’t get triggered by the words?”

“I might own your memories now, but there’s a natural bond with the original owner that can’t be taken. It’s what makes them so vivid and real for you, but it will never be as real to me. The trigger words have no power over me, because the memories are not mine, I don’t have the bond with them.”

“But you still have the nightmares. My nightmares,” he breathes out, a hint of disappointment ringing through his tone, though you’re not sure if it’s because of what you did or because he couldn’t stop you from it.

“They will go away,” you assure him, but you can tell that his guilt is eating him away. “Bucky, I’ll be fine. A few weeks, at max a month and they will be gone. I promise you.”

“You don’t deserve this,” he mumbles under his breath as his hand reaches for yours, squeezing it gently before he brings it to his lips and kisses your knuckles softly. “You don’t deserve any of it.”

“But you deserve happiness,” you reply with a chaste smile that makes his heart flutter in his chest. “Let me give it to you. You’ve had enough pain, Bucky. I’ll take the rest now.”

Bucky stares back at you for a long second before he decides to do whatever he can to make sure you get through it as easily as possible. Pulling the covers back he slides under them, lying down next to you as he pulls you into his embrace.

“Go back to sleep and if you’ll have another nightmare, I’ll be here to wake you up from it and get your mind off of it. You’re safe with me,” he murmurs, as you lay your head to his hard chest, his flesh arm curling around your frame while his vibranium fingers lace together with yours on his stomach. You don’t try to protest against him, you know he won’t leave and quite frankly, you don’t want him to. Knowing that if you go back to the darkness again he’ll be here to pull you out relaxes you, doesn’t let you worry about what kind of horrific scene you are going to be forced to see when you close your eyes next. You melt against him, inhaling his scent, listening to his steady heartbeat under your head as you let yourself go back to sleep, for the first time, ready to face whatever is waiting for you on the other side.

Thank you for reading, please like and reblog if you enjoyed it!

#bucky #bucky barnes #bucky barnes oneshot #bucky barnes one shot #bucky barnes fanfiction #bucky barnes fanfic #bucky barnes angst #bucky barnes x you #bucky barnes x y/n #bucky barnes x reader #bucky barnes au #sebastian stan oneshot #sebastian stan one shot

300 notes · View notes

luvelyhs · 3 years

Text

one last time part 2

IM BACK! thought i’d celebrate with finally uploading one last time part 2! also..i physically couldn’t write this without putting some angst in there i apologize but there is a happy ending because it’s what y/n DESERVES!

you can read ONE LAST TIME PART ONE here!

Warnings: lack of communication lol, angst, smut, happy ending

~~~~~~~~~~

They hadn’t woken up with Harry still in bed in a long time, Y/N had missed it. A lot.

His head lay on the pillow, face smushed into it. His eyes were closed and he was snoring softly. Y/N couldn’t help but smile, she loved him.

But if they were gonna be distant with each other, what was the point of marriage? It was a heartbreaking thought that their love wasn’t strong enough to withstand not even two years before it was over.

She carefully lifted her hand, tracing her fingertips over his forehead, down the side of his face, and lightly running her fingers over his pouty lips. He twitched a little and it made her heart jump. She didn’t want him to wake up yet, didn’t want him to realize what was happening and then leave. No, she wanted him here, right here. For as long as she could have him. Because right now, he was still her husband. He was still the husband that loved her and wanted to spend time with her. Not the husband who didn’t really act like one anymore, the one always avoiding her at all costs. And it hurt, it hurt like a bitch to think that the man who she loved with her entire mind body and soul might not even love her anymore.

She admired him, she didn’t know for how long. All she knew was that the sky was dark when she woke, to it now shining bright in the sky, the birds outside chirping noisily into the air.

It started with his eye twitching, his breathing changed, his eyes peeked open, then closing again once the light hit them. He groaned out, raising his arm to cover his eyes.

Y/N couldn’t stop watching him, she should feel like a creep but this was her husband. For now, at least. The thought made her frown.

He recovered, uncovering his eyes and peering at her. She watched as his eyes widened a bit at the sight of her, and her heart broke a little.

“Shit, what time is it?” Y/N gulped and looked at her bedside table to where the alarm clock is, reading 9:53 am and reciting it back to him.

“Fuck, I was s’posed to be at the studio at 9. Jeff’s gonna kill me.” Y/N stayed silent as he quickly got off the bed, running to their shared closet and changing quickly, then running to their bathroom and closing it.

Y/N didn’t even notice the tear slipping down her face until it landed on her lips. She quickly wiped it and decided to get up as well, making their bed where they had made love for the last time last night.

She had to call up a divorce lawyer, schedule a meeting. File for a divorce, draft up the divorce papers. Gather herself and her emotions. Text her best friend for emotional support. This was all a new experience for her, and she was scared as hell. The last thing she wanted to do was end their marriage, but if he wasn’t happy, then she wasn’t happy either.

The bathroom door opened and he was looking around the room for something.

“Y/N have you seen my keys?”

“Have you checked the pants you were wearing yesterday?” She remembered unbuttoning those pants, pulling them down and having her way with him. This was getting too much for her.

“Ah, thanks, love.” Y/N sighed, placing the throw pillows in the right places and checking her phone for messages.

“I’ll be at the studio late tonight. Don’t wait up.” And then he was off, like yesterday never happened. And when she heard the front door slam shut she let the tears loose. She sobbed and sobbed into the throw pillow she just placed down, crying hard at the thought of losing him.

Still crying, she called her best friend to come over. Her best friend was shocked and scared that she was full on sobbing at 10 am, but she was too worried to question her. She raced to Y/N’s and Harry’s home, using her spare key to get in. Her heart broke at the mess Y/N was in. She knew about her and Harry’s distance but it never got this bad for Y/N.

“Can you find me a divorce lawyer?”

~~~

Vera Thomson was a top notch divorce attorney. Y/N’s best friend knew of her from her sister who had divorced her ex husband, and Vera made the process super easy for her.

Y/N tried to compose herself when her best friend was on the phone with Vera, but she broke again when she heard that she was free at 1 pm to discuss the details. Y/N didn’t want to meet up with her this soon, she didn’t want her marriage to end with the love of her life this soon. She kind of hoped for a delay in it, that it wouldn’t be this fucking easy.

“I-I can’t do this!” Her best friend sighed and wrapped her arms around Y/N, rubbing her hand up and down her back.

Between Y/N’s loud cries and the shushes from her best friend, they both didn’t hear the front door opening and closing. They also didn’t hear the footsteps climbing up the stairs and stopping outside their bedroom door.

“P-please, this can’t just be it!”

“Shh, Y/N, it’s alright. It will be okay. I’m here for you, we’re all here for you.”

Outside their open bedroom door, Harry stood in utter confusion at hearing Y/N’s cries. He wanted to go in but somewhere in his mind he knew he was a reason for her tears. It broke Harry apart each heart wrenching sob she let out. He wanted to go in and comfort his love, but for some reason he couldn’t move his feet.

When Y/N composed herself to utter a few sentences, Harry’s entire world stopped. He almost fell to his knees at her words.

“Do you really think divorce is the best option? S-should I at least wait a few more days until meeting with her? Or, or should I just get it over with today? How long does divorce papers take to draft? I’m so scared, I don’t wanna do it.”

She wanted a divorce? She was meeting with a divorce lawyer to draft the papers? He didn’t want what he was hearing to be true, they were okay.. Weren’t they? Yeah, he’s been super busy writing his next album, but she had to know she was the most important thing to him, right? He loved her with all of his heart, he never wanted her to feel like this, to the point of heartbreak and tears. He vowed to always make her feel special, and to always be there for her and to always spend time with her. Was he really the one making her feel like this?

Sure, he’d been coming home later than usual, spending long hours everywhere he got an ounce of inspiration for a new song. He’d be at the studio perfecting one song, then starting the next. But he didn’t know she felt this way. Was she that unhappy?

Holy fuck- he suddenly remembered her words from yesterday. “One last time, H. Please.”

“She’s a popular attorney, Y/N. I don’t know when the next meeting will be, you’re lucky she had room for you today.”

Y/N scoffed. She was lucky? She didn’t think she was lucky that she was getting divorced to her husband.

“Sorry, bad choice of words. Look, if you’re having second thoughts, I can cancel for you. Take all the time you need, you don’t have to rush, Y/N. This is a big decision, and maybe you should talk to him first? Maybe this doesn’t have to be an option? Maybe marriage counseling..?”

“No..” Y/N shook her head in disagreement.

“Marriages shouldn’t need counseling. If we were meant to last together, we don’t need counseling to dig into why we are unhappy in this marriage. Besides, this is for him. He’s the one unhappy, and if he’s unhappy, I am.”

Harry couldn’t take it anymore. He entered the room, both Y/N and her best friends heads looking up and eyes wide and frozen at the sight of him.

“What are you talking about, Y/N? You think I’m unhappy in this marriage?”

“Harry-“ Y/N started cautiously, not knowing how much he heard but he would of had to hear her last sentences if he was reacting like this.

“No, Y/N! I love you so fucking much, and to think I was ever unhappy in this relationship is utter bullshit.”

He was so worked up, so emotional, he was pacing the room trying to form words to explain his thoughts. His thoughts that were running wild, he was scared. He was scared that he would lose her, lose his precious Y/N. His darling who meant the whole universe and more to him.

He was mad also. Mad that she ever thought he was unhappy. Mad at himself for making her think he was unhappy. Mad at the both of them for not communicating their feelings properly. Mad that she would’ve given up this easily.

“H.. please. We both know you’re unhappy in this marriage. Is this not what you want?” Y/N saw the tears running down his face and she blanched, feeling awful for making him cry. She honestly thought she was doing the right thing, but maybe it was the fear. The fear that he no longer wanted her, that he had the ability to find prettier women. She was insecure, but fuck how can she not be? Her conflicting emotions must’ve shown in her face before her best friend rubbed her back and told her she was going to go.

Y/N nodded absentmindedly while staring at Harry. She made the decision to carefully approach him, what she wasn’t expecting was for him to fall to his knees before her.

“Don’t leave me, baby, please don’t leave me.” He cried out, Y/N’s heart wrenching in pain at the sight.

“I’m not, H. I’m sorry, I’m so sorry.” She fell to her knees with him, hugging his body close to her, so tight but she didn’t care. She sighed in relief.

He pulled back. “I- I remember you saying ‘one last time’ last night.. I thought nothing of it, but you were planning to leave me last night?” Y/N felt she was on an emotional roller coaster. She realized how wrong she had been in not communicating with him before taking a big step, calling a divorce lawyer. She should have talked to him about her feelings. Communication is key. They both knew that, so why had they both been quiet?

“I never want you to leave me, baby, never. You’re my heart, my soul, my everything. W-were supposed to start a family, grow old together, baby, tell me why you wanted to divorce me? Please?” They were both full on sobbing at this point. Y/N paused for a few seconds to think of her words.

“I never want to leave you, never want you to go either. We’ll be okay, H, okay?” Y/N cradled his face with her hands and traced his cheekbone, pressing warm kisses all around his face, and wiped away his tears.

“I’m sorry for assuming, I was just scared it was true, that you didn’t want me anymore.” She whispered. Harry’s face showed love and compassion as he kissed her lips, shoving into it warmth and passion and love and care.

“I need you, baby.” Harry murmurs against her lips, the kiss soon turning passionate and taking them to another level.

“Mmm, then have me.” Sexual intimacy was a big part of one’s relationship, and thank God their’s was out of this world. He worshipped her body and in return she worshipped his, they knew each other’s likes and dislikes and was not afraid to push one’s boundaries a little bit further. They were comfortable with each other, but in a good way that there were still more things to learn.

Her words ignited a spark in him—show her she’s the only one for you, show her you’ll never leave her— and that’s what he intended to do. Harry slowly brought them up, gripping her waist and pulled her up, bringing her body to the bed and depositing her there.

Eyes alight with excitement and lust, he prowled toward her.

“I can’t take it slow baby.” Harry heard her words but didn’t pay them no mind. He wanted to bring her to new heights that she hadn’t felt before with him.

Y/N tried to undress him but he pushed his hoodie back down and pinned her wrists to the bed. “Lay back and relax, baby, this is all about you.” Y/N gulped at the fire in his eyes and nodded, laying back and letting him take over.

He traced her body with his hands, not letting a single surface go untouched, he pulled her sleep shirt off, marveling at the sight of her perky breasts and hard nipples. She gasped when he blew hot air onto her left one, not touching it. He did the same to her right.

“No teasing me, H.” He again didn’t reply but finally wrapped his lips around her nipple, she moaned and gripped his hair, bringing him closer to her. He switched to the other and swirled his tongue over it, sucking and playfully biting.

He pressed a trail of kisses down her body, stopping at the waistband of her pajama pants.

“Even in just nighties, you look divine.” Y/N blushed at his compliment and bashfully looked away.

The tug on her waistband prompted her to lift up her hips, Harry pulling them down and then she was just in her underwear.

He blew out a breath and bit his lip.

“God, I fucking love you.” She mumbled the words back and he looked up into her eyes and smiled. “I’m sorry for making you feel like you were second choice. You’ll always come first, always. Please talk to me if you ever have doubts.” She nodded sniffling as she felt tears well up in her eyes again.

“Promise.” Y/N whispered, and he grinned, wiping a tear away and then started kissing around her thighs, sucking on the skin.

After what seemed like forever, he pulled her underwear off, immediately licking up a stripe up her vagina.

“Oh!” She sat up, gripping his head as he swirled his tongue over her clit and devoured her like no tomorrow.

“Ah! Ah, shit, Harry!” She yelled out, lost in the invigorating pleasure he brought upon her body.

He got up, withdrawing from her body. She started to protest but he laid down beside her on their big bed.

“Sit on my face.” Wasting no time, she came over on top of him and slowly sat, feeling his tongue enter her in and out and all around. He sucked and nipped and kissed, she saw stars.

He knew her body so well, but no matter how many times she’s come on his face, he made her feel so special.

“So fucking wet, come all over my face baby.” He said into his pussy, and she gripped the bed sheets as she came, riding out her high and smashing his face in between her legs.

She gasped, nothing really coming out except a squeak. Her ears felt numb and as she was coming down from her high, she looked down.

The bed sheets were wet around his face and she sat up a bit, seeing how his face was dripping with liquid.

She gasped again in disbelief. “No!” Harry laughed brightly, excited about what just happened.

“Yes!” She had squirted all over him but she didn’t feel the least bit embarrassed.

“You did so good for me, lovie.”

“Can I undress you now?”

“You can do whatever you want, I’m yours to do as you please.” She loved to hear those words coming out of his mouth. She quickly tugged off his work Columbia hoodie, tugging up his shirt in the process, then taking off his white pants and socks, leaving him in his boxers.

His length was fully hard underneath the fabric, so large and she wanted him so bad. Last night felt like forever ago even though it was only hours ago.

“I love your dick, baby.” Y/N said, bringing his hand into his underwear and wrapping a warm fist around his hardness.

He jolted at the contact and moaned at the squeeze of her palm.

She tugged off his boxers to his knees, not having the patience to give him a handie or blowie, she needed him in her now.

She positioned herself above him and made eye contact with him while slowly sinking down onto him. They both moaned at the feeling. It was different than last night. It had a different vibe, it was off, but right now they were better, and it felt so good.

She bounced on him, watching his face until her eyes squeezed shut in pleasure. He brought her down to hold her as he took control for a minute and fucked up into her. She took it, a loud moaning mess above her husband.

“Fuck, you feel so damn good, mmm...” He gave her ass a firm slap, rubbing it after to soothe. She squeezed around him at the feeling, and it prompted Harry’s release.

“Shit— baby, I’m coming.” She flipped them around, knowing he likes it best when he is fucking into her and taking control when he comes. He pistons his hips a few times and then brings his thumb to his mouth quickly, wetting it with his saliva then bringing it down to her mound, rubbing it in circles. That brought her up and over the edge and she screamed and they moaned and came together.

He stays within her a few minutes. Watching her relaxed face. They caught their breaths, and finally pulled out, watching the cum drip from her gorgeous pussy.

“Baby Styles?” He grins down at her, coming to lay beside her and pulled her in so close they could hear the other’s heart beat.

She shrugs in his warm grasp, enjoying the idea of starting their family.

“Maybe..”

“I love you.” He whispered, pressing a kiss into her hair. She sighed happily, in her post orgasmic bliss, but also because of the man laying beside her, her husband.

“I love you..” They laid together, enjoying themselves in each other’s presence.

It wasn’t one last time, after all.

THE END.

#harry styles imagine #harry styles imagines #harry styles smut #harry styles angst #harry styles fluff #harry styles one shot #harry styles fanfic #harry styles fanfiction

197 notes · View notes

uswnt-keeper · 3 years

Text

Holiday Surprise

Requested by: @mari-victoria-13

Prompt: can you write lindsey x reader celebrating the holidays w readers family??

This is my SECOND TIME posting this cuz it won’t show up in tags which is very annoying. I hope it does this time. Went a little off the prompt, but that’s what you get if you leave me with little to no detail 😂. Hope you enjoy! Also if anyone knows how to make the post shorter so it says “keep reading” rather than have a whole ass paragraph on my page, please let me know. Thanks, enjoy! 💜Also this is NOT proof read, sorry...

“Finally, the adults turn to open presents,” my brother, Owen, complained standing up from his position on the couch to go search through the presents.

“Hey, you decided to have two cute kids,” I retorted as his wife laughed across from Lindsey and I.

It was Christmas of course and usually it was the cheeriest time of the year, and it still was, but this year I was nervous, very nervous. I had a plan, in fact a very elaborate one to propose to my girlfriend of 4 years, Lindsey.

Lindsey has been a shining light in my life since I met her all of those year ago. I remember being 16 when she was 18, hearing she went pro out of high school. I didn’t know it at the time, but we’d end up meeting for the first time four year later when I was 20. I got my first national team call up and we became attached at the hip. Of course, she had solid relationships with Tobin and Sonnett which 100% threw me off at first, especially because I thought Sonny and Linds were together. But after sometime, she expressed interest, and my oblivious brain didn’t read it right. I didn’t realize what was happening until I got shovel talk by the entire team, I was 21 by then, and confused as hell.

When I finally figure out what the hell they were talking about, it was clear I had no solid plan to ask Lindsey out, and so it became a game of what if’s, the whole team giving me ideas of what to do. I got so overwhelmed by the ideas and what could go wrong that when Lindsey walked in I just asked her... mostly by accident, and since that day we’ve been together.

Yeah, we’ve had some arguments and fights, like any normal relationship does, but we never go to bed angry at one another. We’ve helped each other through a lot, everything really. When my dad passed away 3 years ago, she was there, she lost the championship, I was there. Now, I want to promise her that I’ll be there forever, until death do us part and I can only hope she’ll agree.

We all stacked the presents in front of us which were ours and started to open them, collecting things of course from everyone. I got a nice watch, some jewelry, but I was most excited to see Lindsey’s reaction to the final gift.

“That’s it,” Lindsey said looking around at everyone’s wrapping paper on the floor, of course, everyone was in on this proposal except for Lindsey, I had something extravagant planned, and it would take a few days.

“No, there’s one last thing for you babe,” I said looking at her.

“Where? I don’t see it,” she looked around, unable to find it until she looked at me, holding a small box, wrapped in white and gold, “You’re sneaky, what is it?” She chuckled and I smiled.

“Open it,” I told her, she did, and found a small necklace in there, she seemed shocked, eventually finding the engraving on the back of important dates for us. When we met, our first kiss, when we both moved in together, etc.

“This is beautiful,” she said with a well of tears as she hugged me and I pecked her lips.

“There’s something else in there love,” I said, putting the necklace around her neck as she looked back in the box.

I watch on as she read it, everyone watching the exchange as I gave them a cheeky grin, “An I Owe You?” Lindsey asked and I nodded to the paper again as she started to read it, “Okay, ‘Mrs Lindsey Michelle Horan, I owe you a little trip up to the Delicate Arch’...” she looked at me with a confused face before looking at the paper again, “Oh, ‘You’re final present will be there, ready to pick up on December 31st’ New Years?” I nodded.

“Yep, I got one final thing for you, but it won’t be ready for some time,” I said, “Sorry, I really couldn’t get it in until later,” I smiled.

Obviously that was a complete lie, I had to organize everyone to be on the arch for New Years, which was hard convincing for some as it was gonna be cold. But the New Years fireworks would be perfect to help me out with this proposal, and it would be expensive, but totally worth it. Yeah, I had to get the whole team to fly out here, and Lindsey’s family who were fully on board, and get them up to the arch in time, literally just in time, for the fireworks.

It was a precarious plan, but I felt good about it.

“I have to wait for it?”

I nodded and she groaned, making the room laugh.

“I hate waiting,” she sighed and I chuckled, kissing her cheek.

“I know love, but I promise this is going to be the best present you’ve ever gotten... or at least I hope so.”

It was her time to kiss my cheek now, “I’m sure it’ll be great.”

The days passed by rather quickly, almost so quickly that I wasn’t ready when New Years rolled around. We’d spent a lot of time together, baking cookies with my family, splaying with my twin nephews, and honestly walking around Utah. A lot of that time was spent distracting Lindsey, and Im sure she got suspicious when I left her with my mom for a full day to make sure everything was in place. That was yesterday, December 30th, and that was also the day I picked up the ring.

When I got home that night, I didn’t think Lindsey was too happy with me. I’d gotten home and instead of greeting them rushed upstairs to my moms room where I knew the ring would be safely hidden. I felt bad though, as I’d literally been gone all day preparing, only coming hope around 10:30pm, to a grumpy looking Lindsey and my sleeping mother on the couch.

“Hey,” I said nervously and Lindsey gave me a look as if to tell me to meet her upstairs as she walked off, I sighed, waking my mom up.

“Huh what?” My mom always woke up startled, she always had since my dad died.

“You fell asleep,” I said, “Come on I think its bed time.”

“Where’s Lindsey?”

“Upstairs waiting for me so she can be angry I was gone all day,” I said with a small smile, my mom looked at me concerned, but so waved it off, “She’ll be happy when she get my present tomorrow.”

My mother smiled, “I’m so excited for it Y/N, you’re gonna do great,” She smiled and kissed my cheek as I helped her up. We walked upstairs together in silence, turning off the lights as we went, and I waved her goodbye when she went to her room and I went to mine.

When I walked in the bedroom, Lindsey was there, on the bed, looking at me with a stern face, looking down to her phone when I caught her eyes.

“Hey baby,” I said a little nervous, “You want to brush your teeth with me?”

“I already got ready for bed,” she replied, looking to her phone for a distraction and I sighed, going to get ready on my own.

When I did finally finish getting ready, it was already almost 11, and I slipped into bed next to Lindsey as she had turned away from me, I didn’t like the feeling, we’d always talked about our issues before bed.

“Linds.”

“Hmm?”

“I’m sorry,” I sighed, softly placing my hand on her shoulder, she turned over and I couldn’t help but smile as her drowsy looking face, “I had to go out.”

“And leave me all day?” She pouted, “You’re mom is lovely, don’t get me wrong, I just missed you,” she sighed, turning fully to cuddle into my chest as we got comfortable, I wrapped my arms around her.

“If it’s any consolation, I did it because I needed to make sure your present for tomorrow was perfect, it has to be.”

She opened her eyes to look at me with her icy blues, “That’s what this is all about?” She had a slight smirk on her face and I nodded.

“Trust me, it has to be great.”

“Whatever you say,” she said, “I’m sorry for being mad, I really did just miss you.”

I chuckled, “I missed you too,” I said, a long pause after that before I said, “I could spent the rest of my life with you... like this.”

I could feel her smile against my chest, “I could too.”

And with that, we fell asleep.

timeskip

The next morning had anxiety written all over it, I was nervous and scattered, but pulled myself together in the morning. We laid in of course until around 10, everyone getting out of the house before we got up as planned.

My mother would take the ring up to the mountain so I wouldn’t be caught with it. I got up first, leaving Lindsey to sleep a little longer, I went downstairs and made breakfast, avocado toast, eggs, coffee, her favorite.

“Whats all this?” I looked up to find Lindsey, already gotten ready for the day, standing at the bottom of the stairs, “Where is everyone?”

“Part of the gift,” I said, as she sat down at the dining table, “They all wanted to go shopping apparently and I didn’t want to get you up.”

“Thanks baby,” she said, pecking my lips before we did go to our food.

After breakfast Lindsey cleaned up while I got ready. When I came downstairs, I was excited to start dragging Lindsey into the day, almost overly excited.

“You ready?” I asked.

“For what?” She laughed as she looked up from her phone, her dazzling smile and cute laugh almost making me pass out completely.

“You really are so beautiful you know,” I said dopy, as she stood up, I pulled her into a tight hug, and she pulled back, scattering kisses on my face that made me laugh.

“Stop, it tickles!” I giggled and she laughed again as we embraced, “I love you.”

“I love you too,” she said head on my shoulder, “So... what are we doing today? This is the ist I’ve seen you plan for anything.”

“I know,” I laughed, “All you have to do is follow,” I smiled.

“Oh god,” she laughed, “Is this gonna be a mess?”

“I hope not,” I smiled, pulling her to the front door, “Now come on, let’s go!”

Our first stop was the ice rink at the mall, I hated ice skating, but Lindsey was a Colorado native who adored these winter sports. I didn’t want to rent the whole rink because I felt like that’d give the proposal away, and anyway, it was a good excuse to get to the next activity when it got crowded.

We skated for at least an hour and a half, and I never got use to it, fumbling and falling over my own feet as Lindsey skated right by, laughing as she watched me absolutely bomb.

“Okay, as much as I love skating, I love you more and cannot watch you face plant on the ice anymore,” she laughed as she hoisted me up from the ground.

“Thank god,” I mumbled as we got off the ice, thanking the front desk before leaving.

“What next muestro,” she asked and I chuckled.

“You’ll see,” I replied.

Our next stop was the Red Butte Garden, a beautiful garden with many types of evergreens and flowers, mostly inside greenhouses due to the cold weather. But it was beautiful, and after buying some hot chocolate, we were able to spent hours in there looking around. I found ways to sneak around a bit, going to the bathroom at one point just to check everyone was almost in place.

Lindsey and I spent hours in that garden, something she just adored. After that we went to go get churros before heading home to watch a movie or two before we’d head to the mountain trail.

By the time the second movie was over, I stood up, “One last thing babe.”

“It’s almost midnight, what else could you possibly have?” She asked with a laugh.

“I know your tired, but I need you to get on some really warm clothes and then put this blindfold on.

“A blindfold?” She asked as I tossed it at her, “That’s a little weird,” she smirked and I rolled my eyes.

“We’re going out Linds, don’t get any ideas, trust me okay.”

She sighed, “I’m tired, but now I’m interested, I’ll bite.”

“Okay, it’s literally a two minute walk, just trust me okay,” I said.

“I’ve been doing that up to this point so I might as well,” she laughed and I kissed her cheek, holding her hand as I guided her up the mountain, it was perfect, 10 to 12.

I was so happy to see the whole team on the mountain, both Lindsey’s family and mine standing there too in coats and warm clothing.

“You warm enough babe?” I asked as we got to the top, me waving at everyone with a huge smile, this was successful as far as I was concerned.

“Yeah, can I take it off now?” She asked.

“Yeah go ahead,” I said, and she did, of course she was facing the arch looming out to the moonlight.

“Wow,” she said breathlessly, “This is beautiful,” she said.

“Turn around,” I said next to her.

“Hmmm?” She asked confused.

“Look behind you,” I whispered, she did, gasping.

“OH MY GOD,” she yelled and everyone laughed.

She kissed my lips before running around to greet everyone, we managed to get around everyone until Ashlyn stood on a rock to count us down to midnight. We all had champagne in our hands, ready for the new year.

I stood there with Lindsey, my mother passing behind my back and dripping the ring in my back pocket. We looked out from the arch towards the night sky.

“3...2...1... HAPPY NEW YEAR!” We yelled, I pulled Lindsey in for a kiss, the fireworks sparking just at the right moment and as we pulled apart she smiled, I leaned in close.

“Look at the fireworks,” I said, backing up behind her and finally being able to do what I’d planned for weeks.

“Will,” she read with the first boom, cameras clicking and recording, “You,” she read next, still not getting it until the last boom, “marry me.”

“Linds,” I said and she spun around, eyes wide as she clasped her hand over her mouth in shock, “Lindsey Michelle Horan. Ive been with you for four years and in that time I’ve realized that I want to be with you for the rest of my life, through thick and thin, good times and bad. I want to watch us grow, I want to be with you and only you. And so now I’m asking, if you, Lindsey, will marry me?”

I looked at her waiting, and through tears and a gasps she managed to respond, “Yes,” she replied, coming over as I slipped the ring on her finger, standing up and wrapping her in a hug, pushing our lips together amongst the wolf whistles and cheers.

“This was the present?” She asked wiping tears away and I nodded, “I love you.”

“Love you too,” I smiled, tearing up myself.

“And you were all in on this?!” She yelled at them, gaining laughs from them as they nodded.

“Nice holiday surprise then huh?” I asked.

“The best,” she smiled.

#uswnt x reader #uswnt imagines #lindsey horan

140 notes · View notes

xsugarysweetsx · 3 years

Text

ℭ𝔥𝔞𝔭𝔱𝔢𝔯 5

A/N: Characters are above the age of 18! Iwaizumi is set as 21 and, reader is 19 turning 20!!

Warnings; closing up again, arguing, iwa being mean, slight angst, slight cursing, slight action (Im horrible at writing action scenes)

Previous Next

°°°° °°°° °°°°

“Wow...it’s been years since he’s shown his vulnerable side. I think you’re getting through to him Y/N“ Oikawa spoke with you in the garden that early morning. You woke you before Hajime and decided to take a walk in the garden and watch the flowers open up. From what Oikawa tells you he appreciated what you had done the night before.

“I don’t know....whenever he’s nice or trying to be it seems forced“ you answer disappointed. You won’t lie to yourself holding him as he held you was nice and something you would welcome again. Would you say it was love or feelings for him?

You weren’t exactly sure for that matter.

“Well I think,“ Oikawa picks a flower and hands it to you “you my dear, are getting to our king and you want to know something?“

“What?“

“someone has a crush~“ he wiggles his shoulders nudging you a bit

“Me?“ you asked confused and he simply nodded with a huge grin. Oh goodness was he really playing cupid right now? Before you could answer someone had called your name

“Y/N?“ Turning around you see Hajime still in his nightwear, just being silk pants and no shirt. He also looked as if he had been running? You stand as he approaches you

“Are you okay you look-“

“I’m fine, you were gone and I was....I” he stops himself “We, have a meeting with a neighboring kingdom this afternoon and we aren’t ready yet“

“Oh I’m sorry. We’ll talk later Oikawa“ you wave as you follow Hajime back to your shared room. He immediately started to get dressed and so you did the same. Shimming out of your nightgown and walking to the the closet where all your dresses hung.

He seemed to be taking this one quite seriously so you take out your favorite dress. It was a pastel pink dress with delicate designs and small detail, simple yet lovely.

Slipping in to it you go to Hajime and let him tie the corset behind you. This became routine for you now. Helping each other dress and look presentable, now it was just habit. Turning you fix up his buttons and make sure his hair is neat, meanwhile he clasps your necklace around your neck. You do the same for him as your final touches are done.

“How do I look?“ you ask once you were ready. You had never asked him that before and he was caught a bit off guard. He took a breath and did what Oikawa told him. To speak his mind

“You look...beautiful..“ he said honestly.

“T-thank you I um...you look handsome“ you compliment back “So who are we meeting, you seem a bit worried“ you said taking his arm

“They’re a neighboring kingdom who like to pick fights and and battles for more territory“ he explains as you walk down the hall

“Some time ago they’d pick on farmers who live on the outskirts of the kingdom and steal their goods. Which is why we hesitate to expand land. They had sent a request to become allies, but” he stopped turning to look at you

“They tend to be very sneaky and will take every chance they can grasp to get their ways. So stay aware understand?“ you gave him a firm nod as his hand slips into yours. It was so...warm, something you had never felt before. It made you feel, safe, it wasn’t a strong hold not a weak one. Two guards stood outside the room and opened the doors.

Upon entering the meeting room sat a man with sharp eyes and a mischievous smirk. If you remember correctly from your lessons they must be from the Kingdom Nohebi, King Suguru Daishou. You and Hajime curtsy and they do the same before taking seats.

“So the cold king has finally taken a bride, it was about time.“ he chuckles as the papers were laid in front of you all. You pick up your piece and begin to read. Most say to just sign the papers but this was something you were giving permission to, you should at least read it.

“What are you thinking so far?“ Hajime asks

“It all seems reasonable except for the part of farms having to house your men whether they want to or not.“ your brows furrow “In other words forced-“

“Well your highness, my knights work extremely hard and most nights are late patrols,“ he intertwines his fingers and rests his chin on them “When they need rest it’s dangerous to do so in the forest“ he smiles

You still argue against it “Yes but our farmers and yours have the right to refuse if they feel it is needed-”

“It’s the least they can do seeing they’re nothing but dead weight on the kingdom. Just uh...crumbs“ he chuckles smiling at you

“Do as you want with your kingdom but ours work tirelessly to plant and harvest crops and I will not allow for our soldiers or yours to force themselves into homes.“ You stand your ground with a fiery passion. This was a side Hajime had not seen..and he kind of liked it. Oikawa stood in his spot very interested with what you were saying.

Suguru didn’t take it too well “If I remember well, the queen was simply there to give the kingdom beauty, she wasn’t to speak during trades.“

“Well then I’m the first. If I am queen, I will protect my people“ damn he felt his cheeks heating up

“You need to learn to control your woman King Iwaizumi, teach her to hold her tongue” Hajime felt something boil within him. He was angry and wanted to punch him in his smug face but you had beat him to it. The sound of paper ripping filled the room as you threw the pieces at him.

“I reject your proposition“

“That’s really too bad“ he said calmly snapping his fingers. Next thing you knew you were held against cold armor with something cold help to your neck. Scanning the situation you had been brought to the edge of a sword threatening to pierce your skin. You breath was caught in your throat, your eyes frozen on Hajime

“Guards!“ Oikawa called out but only made the blade come against you more. You were genuinely scared at this moment. The guards come in and freeze in place

“Now, now Iwaizumi, listen closely. If your guards try and come near me, you may big farewell to your queen.“ he said walking to you and pinching one of your cheeks

“Or maybe I’ll keep her for myself she’d make a fine con-“ and just like a that a punch had landed him square in the jaw sending him to the floor. Quick reflexes allow him to take a hold of the guards sword and get you out of deaths grip.

He pushes you behind him keeping the sword in a strong hold. His guards rushing in to cease the enemy.

“Get her to our room and do not let her leave“ he said handing her over to his guards

“Yes sir.“ you were then escorted by three of his guards. Walking to Suguru he squats down and pulls him close to his face

“Pull something like that again, and it’ll be your head hanging on my wall....understand?“ Suguru nods as his body trembles in Hajime’s hold. Letting his go he walks to the door

“Kick him out and cut our contact off. And I want more men to begin training.“ he said to Oikawa, his entire aura had changed. To one of anger and rage, this couldn’t be good could it?

You paced the floor of the shared room waiting for something, anything. You hand rests over your heart where it pounded in your rib cage. If it wasn’t for Hajime you would have been done for. Suddenly the door opens and closes again, turning quickly you see it’s Hajime

“Oh you’re okay I um..“ you walk to him and take his hands in yours “Thank you...you really saved my life there I-“

“You’re absolutely careless,“ your eyes widen as your head shoots up to look into his eyes “Do you understand what an idiotic move that was I told you to keep your damn guard up and you go and pull that stunt!“

“But...it was wrong I had to-“

“What you had to do was keep your damn mouth shut and not say anything. I already told you we were not on good terms and he can now possibly declare a war upon us“ he snatches his hands from yours and walk about the room massaging the bridge of his nose.

You felt a bit guilty about it “I-I’m sorry..I thought I was helping..” you say quietly

“Helping?! You nearly got yourself killed! That would have been another death on my shoulders to carry. Damn woman, if it weren’t for you none of this would have happened.“

“Well at least I care for the people of this kingdom unlike you!“

“And you think just because you are here you’d make it better? Please, things would be much easier without you here to pester me.” damn he was angry “Don’t think I haven’t noticed you trying to be all nice to me, whatever in the hell is going on through your head, you’re mistaken“

“..you really are a cold king aren’t you. Not a single trace of compassion..“

“Of course I am. You may be crown queen but you mean nothing to me, if I wanted to have a passionate night I could have a concubine as soon as tonight if I wish“ he said carelessly

You felt the tears welling up from his words “Why did I expect any different from you“ you walk to the door and open it “you’re mother wouldn’t be happy with this.... would she?“ and off you went closing the door.

You run into the old room you were once in. Cold and unwelcoming, just like it’s king. You take the necklace off and toss it on to the vanity and lay on to the bed.

Your head was spinning and your heart throbbed. You thought you had progressed, but it was all for show. He said it, you meant nothing to him. Whatever it was you felt grief wash over you as a sob took over your body. A shaken sob falls from your lips as tears stain the sheets. A knock came to the door, a timid head came in

“your majesty?“ it was Rose she came in and shut the door. “Ma’am, do you need something“ lifting your head to look at her. Her kind eyes only made you break down and fall into his seeking comfort. She patted your back and let you get everything out

“I tried Rose..s-so hard it just..rose...“ you look up at her with dreadful eyes “I-I think...“

“What is it ma’am?“

“I think I..l-love....“ she completely understood and just let you continue until you had fallen asleep from crying. She really did feel bad for you, you had tried so hard but only got his cold side as a result. After setting you properly in bed she walks out of the room quietly. Oikawa happened to be passing by and had gone to ask Rose what happened

“She’s..*sigh* she’s very hurt. She had cried until she had fallen asleep. I think she’s developed feelings for the king and after their argument she’s just so broken“

“I’ll see what the king says then, get some sleep alright?“ he kisses her forehead and heads back to Hajime’s room. He simply walks in on the king sulking in his chair.

“What did you say to her?“

“What she couldn’t handle a few words? Pft, she’s weaker than I though-“

“Hajime!“ it’s been a few years since he used his first name “She just cried herself to sleep because of you! I don’t care what your argument was about but if you really want this to work this isn’t how you deal with a problem!“

Hajime was shocked to say the least.

“I thought she would have been someone to give you a wake up call and realize you don’t have to be so cold. And to think she actually cares for you....” disappointed was an understatement

“....I was afraid...”

“What?” Now Oikawa was just confused

“If I....if I had seen it coming she wouldn’t have been put in danger...” without another word he stands form his seat and leaves the room

“Damn him! He never listens!” Oikawa stomped his foot almost childlike.

Hajime walks to your old room and opens the door carefully. Peaking inside he sees your chest rising and falling slowly. Walking closer to you he could see how the moon reflected on the dry tear marks in your cheeks. On the vanity your necklace caught the light, shimmering every now and then.

He squats down to eye level with you and brushes some hair form your face. His heart had a slight pang seeing you like this.

“I can’t say this to you while you’re awake, but I was genuinely afraid of them taking you. I lost my parents and friends over the years....I’m not losing you either” he lays a kiss to your forehead and whispers against it “I’m sorry, please forgive me.” he pulled the covers over to keep you warm, he stands and walks back out of the room and calls over two guards.

“You already know what I want you both here for. Once she wakes escort her to where she what’s to go, and stay with her, understood?”

“Yes sir.” They stand their ground now, protecting by you as you slept. Hajime returns to his room and sits in front of his vanity. He removes his jewelry and strips form his clothing. The room felt heavy and empty without your presence. Without you cleaning up in the bathroom, or brushing your hair.

He slips under the covers and huffs out a breath. He looks to his left where you were supposed to be laying. His hand hesitantly reaches over and brings you pillow closer to him. It smelled of you, the gentle smell of flowers and soap filled his nose with delight. It should have been you in his arms, like that night you held him.

Oh how he loved being held and comforted, you more gentle then they had told him. He swore he would make it up to you, tomorrow was his chance to apologize. His chance to show you a different side of him, he can only hope you’ll accept his apology.

His sleep was restless, he tossed and turned not able to stay asleep. Just as the sun was rising Hajime got out of bed and ran straight to Oikawa. He woke with a start from knocking at his door, he grumbled over to the door. He scowled looking at Hajime

“If you think saying sorry before sunrise is romantic you should think agai-“ he tried to close the door but was stopped by Hajime

“I need your help, I want to apologize to her today but I’m not sure how“ Oikawa crossed his arms and leans on the door frame

“Two conditions“ he held up his two fingers “One, you have to follow my plan and do it with your heart and soul, two, you need to tell her how you feel“

“....“

“Iwa...“

“Fine, where do we start?“ he asked. Oikawa smiles and walks past him, following him Oikawa leads him to the servant floor. He walks down to the last door, he recognized it as the one maid who has been here since he was a child.

Oikawa goes in and comes back about 2 minutes later. He came back with a young girl who was rubbing sleep from her eyes. As soon as she sees Hajime she wakes up and bows to hi m

“Good morning you majesty-“

“You don’t have to Rose but we do need your help“ Oikawa lifts her and cups her face “can you?“ she nods and he kisses her nose

“...Since wh-“

“Off we go!“ he was cut off being dragged down the hall into Oikawa’s plan. Hopefully this won’t make his position with you worse than it already was.

°°°° °°°° °°°°

Taglist; @vanilla-beanzz @hp-hogwartsexpress @sugarysweets-appreciation-blog @sophie-duck @mysteriousmagicx @toutorii @mystic-starlove @leviiiiiiiii @heavenly-warlord @birdiewolf @bakarinnie @torithetori @shoyosun @postsfromthe6 @yatoatyourservice @lola2001 @kameko-ko @chewymoustachio

#iwaizumi hajime x reader #haikyuu x reader #iwaizumi hajime #iwaizumi x reader #haikyuu!! x reader #Stone King by mama sweets #mama sweets 1k special #haikyuu royal au #anime #anime x reader #fanfiction

97 notes · View notes

yeoldontknow · 3 years

Text

❧ check in tag

tagged by the sweetest angel @propinqxity to do this little tag. this is such a cute list of questions, and some of these i dont think ive been asked before. thank you so much for the tag and the tumblr crush mention lovely. you truly are a bright spot on this website and i mean that sincerely <333

going under a cut because im certain i will ramble ~

1. Why did you choose this url?

its sort of like a pun between yall dont know and the fact that, hopefully, sincerely, chanyeol does not in fact know that i run this blog lmao i changed to this after a long time of being bread-jinie and i wanted to rebrand. i will, however, do my best to never change URLs again because the masterlist switch over was a complete hassle

2. Any sideblogs? If you have them, name them and why you have them

i have a fic recs blog called @yeoldontknowiread. as to why i have it, i know it hasnt been updated in ages since ive been kind of on hiatus, but i think reading and sharing work on this platform is immensely important. i actually read quite a lot of fanfiction, and i try my best to share the things i read. im very very behind on recs at the moment cause i try my best to write something substantial for every recommendation i make. as a writer, i know exactly the kinds of thoughts and feedback on fics that make my heart soar so i try to put in the same energy to my recs. community is only fostered when there is reciprocation

3. How long have you been on Tumblr?

hmmm since april 2017. i actually had my 4 year anniversary this year and i did have plans for things but i got roped into real life things and couldnt celebrate the way i truly wanted to :(

4. Do you have a queue tag?

no but sometimes i think i should. i view tags as a library on top of my knee jerk response to things. most of my tags are just my initial thoughts or feelings at any given moment, so those take precedence over a specific queue tag

5. Why did you start your blog in the first place?

when i was getting into exo, i was reading fanfiction like crazy. i used to write fanfic quite a lot in other fandoms, but at that time i hadnt written anything in about 2.5 years. exo was the first re-introduction to that feeling of excitement and inspiration. after about 3 weeks of straight reading, i decided i wanted to write again. i wrote the prologue to hero in about two hours and tried logging into AO3 to post it. sadly i forgot all of my log in information because it had been years, and was getting frustrated. i really wanted to put it somewhere out of fear that id lose interest if i didnt do something with it, and everything id read had been on tumblr. so i made a tumblr just to put hero lmao i didnt have any mutuals. it was a blog with straight 0. i hadnt even created an account to interact with writers before that moment, i really thought id be a silent reader forever. but exo woke me back up and for that i am eternally grateful.

6. Why did you choose your icon?

the yours music video is...so stunning? like the colour theory throughout the whole thing is truly so inspiring and gorgeous. and this shot of chanyeol looking at the painting took my breath away, truly. tulips and the color of peach, like do you know how evocative that is? ugh

7. Why did you choose your header

my header was made by @jamaisjoons for my birthday this year because shes literally the most talented person when it comes to graphics. and this was so kind of her to do, i cried a lot

8. What's your post with the most notes?

uhm....either the body through time or truth i cant remember which but i checked recently and its one of those

9. How many mutuals do you have?

honestly at this point im not even sure. i know ive lost a bunch while i was on hiatus because i was basically a dead blog, and some people do dash cleanses. and im certain others have left, too, for their own reasons. still, i have a good core of friends though who are active and that is enough for me

10. How many followers do you have?

more than i probably deserve

11. How many people do you follow?

399

12. Have you ever made a shitpost?

uhm i guess? there was a time when nng was not updated and every wednesday id post the days go by music video in sadness and grief but im not a big shitposter. if i make a text post its usually a life update or me crying about chanyeol, theres no inbetween lmao

13. How often do you use Tumblr every day?

tbh i havent used tumblr that often, not since march i think. i used to use it many times a day, checking in on friends and stuff, but once i started focusing on my phd applications i was only here sporadically. i didnt make an announcement either, just let my blog run on queue so i wasnt totally gone. i think i was checking in twice a week or maybe once every two weeks to refill my queue and check mentions etc. but now that my interviews are done im trying to get back on here daily to reconnect

14. Did you have a fight/argument with another blog once? Who won?

ive had my share of disagreements with people and any details about those situations shall remain as they are meant to: private

15. How do you feel about "you need to reblog this" posts?

in what context? like, you need to reblog this or your wish wont come true? or like, please reblog this to spread the word/spread awareness, etc? in the case for the former, i scroll right by. in the case of the latter, if im around and see someone raising a go fund me or some major event is occurring and i find a post with good sources or charities i will reblog. mostly though, the full extent my activism isnt really on this blog. its my escape from reality. my activism is usually placed on other platforms.

16. Do you like tag games?

i doooo!!! theyre so fun i love learning about my friends

17. do you like ask games?

i love those too! theyre so cute and usually a nice way to have interaction immediacy with people in the community

18. Which of your mutuals do you think is Tumblr famous?

no one. can we please abandon this notion of fame on tumblr? arent we all here to write about some dick and some smut and some fluff and then hang out together and log off? lmao tumblr isnt reality and followers/fame is so arbitrary on this platform, no one has any control over any of it

19. Do you have a crush on a mutual?

i am in love with so many people here. let me name a few:

@yehet-me-up @kyungseokie @jenmyeons @j-pping @jamaisjoons @inkedtae @kookdiaries @yoonia @dulcetvk @kithtaehyung @imdifferentshadesofpurple @ditzymax @sugaurora @sahmbtsficrecs @junghelioseok @yeojaa @augustbutwinter @joonscore @btssavedmylifeblr @cutechim @sunshinekims @kimtaehyunq @ouvuo @delhyun @exo-stentialism @sooibian @softyoongiionly @jinseunie @zibermuda @bratkook @1kook @luffles424 @xjoonchildx

and so many other people and mutuals that i am certainly forgetting. love is such an expansive feeling, and it encompasses platonic ardor and creative desire. i admire every single person listed for so many different reasons, and cherish and treasure them or what they provide to the community. love is such an important and broad experience. truly, i hope they feel adored every single day x

#check in tag

12 notes · View notes

msmarvelwrites · 4 years

Text

The Winter Ghost - Part 5

Info: A Devastating car crash causes you to lose your memory and start over. The only thing left in the wreckage was the horrific nightmares which plagued your mind. If you knew what today would entail you would have just stayed in bed. But you didn't and because of that, everything you knew was about to change.

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x Y/n

Warning: language, PTSD, anxiety, violence, fluff.

W/c: 3.5K ish

A/n : oooh getting serious. Im having so much fun writing this you guys! Shout out to @cutie1365 for all her support! Go read her fic A Kid From Queens, but dont say I didnt warn you. Its addicting!

Everything happened really fast after that day in the common room with Wanda. Shuri worked tirelessly in the lab trying to develop a softer approach to bringing back your memories. She believed if she could restore them fully, we would have the last piece of the puzzle.

Becoming the perfect war machine seemed like the most obvious use for the serum, but Steve reminded you Hydra always had something up their sleeve.

You really enjoyed living in Wakanda. Most days were spent in the gym training. Trying to harness the team's abilities was not so enjoyable. You worked with Wanda most. It helped that you were only 4 years older than her. She was younger than most of the team and had a dark past that seemed to mirror yours.

Most of your nights consisted of you, Wanda and Nat settling into the couch and cheesy eighties movies on the plasma TV. Bucky would often come out of his room and sit with you.

You really enjoyed Bucky's energy. Something about him just drew you to him. Maybe it was his smile, or the way he smelled like mint and nicotine, or that he read the newspaper and drank black coffee in the mornings. You weren't sure. One thing was for certain, the more time you spent together, the harder it became to leave him. Bucky would tell you about his past and how he used to have to bail little 'Stevie' out of bar fights and ally brawls every other day. He made you laugh like no one really did. When he told you about his time with Hydra and how they would control his mind you would rake your fingers through his hair and whisper to him he wasn't alone anymore.

As the days melted into weeks, the horrific nightmares began to grow legs. It was one of the many side effects from Shuri’s digging. Some days it felt like Hydra knew you would try to remember and this was their fail-safe. Every time you began to drift off you'd see Tommys pale face, blood oozing from the corner of his mouth. You swear, right before he stumbled off the edge of the bridge you saw him say something. You could never remember when you woke, nor could you recall any other detail other than Tommy. It felt wrong. You felt wrong. Like he wasn't yours to grieve.

One particular bad night, you remember waking up screaming. Your whole body felt like it was on fire as your tears seared down your cheeks. The only thing that grounded you after that was the small knock that echoed from the other side of your door.

“Hey, doll. Let me in?” His voice was soft and smooth and the only thing that seemed to bring you back to the dimly lit bedroom. You stared at the ceiling for a solid minute before slowly rising and crossing the room. Gently, you opened the door just a crack and looked up. There stood a sleepy-eyed Bucky. He sported a baggy pair of grey sweats and an old beat up tank, his arms on full display. In normal circumstances, you believed that that was enough to knock you out of any state. You wondered if Bucky knew the effect he had on people. Or worse, if he knew the effect he had on you.

“Can't sleep, keep me company?” He spoke, huskily. You could tell he had just woken up. Sleep still clouded his eyes, and the yawn he tried to stifle gave him away. You appreciate what he was trying to do, so instead of calling the man out, you opened the door, and welcomed the Super Soldier in.

You talked for hours that night. He didn't ask about your nightmare, which you appreciated. You had recited the images to Shuri about thirty times in the past week. It was the only memory that seemed to come back. It replayed over and over on a continuous loop through your mind. This moment with Bucky was a welcomed break.

“Can I ask you somethin’?” You finally spoke. Bucky and you had found your way onto your bed at some point. His right arm draped around your shoulder, as you leaned on his chest. He cracked his neck to look down at you.

“Of course.” He offered, shifting onto his side so he could really look at you.

“Does it ever stop? I’m so exhausted, all I want to do is sleep but I- I'm so scared. I don’t want to see it again… What if it never-” Your voice broke off, shutting your eyes tight to stop a tear from escaping.

“Hey, hey. You're not alone anymore. Remember? I went through it and came out the other side. And look how well adjusted I am.” Bucky smirked, sarcasm laced his last remark. You couldn't help but smile at that. You didn't know if anyone but you and Steve really knew how funny he was. Maybe he liked it that way. Maybe he was only that way with you? You knew it had been awhile since Bucky had really been this way around others. It warmed your heart how quickly the two of you got along.

“Listen to me, doll.” He started, seriously, lowering his stare to meet yours.

“I’ll be here. Whenever you need me. I know what it's like, to feel out of control. To feel like a prisoner in your own body. To answer your question, yeah I think it gets better. I mean,” He paused then, looking you up and down in a way that made you blush. He started again, words laced with that old Brooklyn charm the ladies used to love. Granted, that worked back in 1940 - something and he had been out of the game for quite a while.

“I’m in bed with a smart, complicated, frankly beautiful dame. I’d say it gets better, wouldn't you?” He gently tucked a strand of your hair behind your ear. His touch sent shivers down your spine. Bucky's stormy eyes bore into yours making your breath hitch in your throat. There was a moment, so brief that when you recanted the memory you weren't sure it really happened. But you thought maybe for just a second he wanted to-

“Up and at it, Y/n! Training starts at 0700!” Caps voice droned through your bedroom door suddenly, knocking you out of your thoughts and back to the bed you resided on. Your hand reached out for Bucky, who since that night spent most beside you. He would stay with you until you fell asleep and more often than not, when you woke, he’d be beside you, fast asleep. His side of the bed was cold, however. He had been up for a while.

You looked at your phone on the nightstand. 6:15 am it read. You groaned, rubbing your hands over your face and slinking out of bed. Pain screamed from your muscles as you opened the bathroom door. Carefully, you started the shower, steam quickly filled the room and calmed your aching bones. You stepped in and autobly signed.

Fifteen minutes later you met the rest of the team in the kitchen. You couldn't help but notice Bucky wasn't in attendance. Everyone looked like they had been awake for hours while your wet hair was pulled up in a messy knot on top of your head. Nat was pouring herself a cup of coffee when she noticed you come in. She smirked, instantly grabbing another mug and gesturing to the pot in her hands. You nodded quickly. ‘Coffee fixed most everything’. That's what Your Dad used to tell you before he left for work and you lived by that.

“Look who's finally up…” Cap announced. You had no idea how he was so chipper in the mornings. Even the sound of his booming voice made you cringe. The man must have coffee running through his veins. Maybe that should be Hydra’s next serum idea…

“I have risen. Just for you, Rogers.” You muttered sarcastically, taking the mug of coffee from Nat. You smiled and mouthed thank you, taking a big swig. Ugh, you grimaced, swallowing the brown substance much to your dismay. You didn't know what this brown water was but it definitely wasn't coffee.

Wanda laughed at your disgusted face, "It's decaf, Y/n '' she rolled her eyes, "Cap thinks decaf is better for the team. That coffee will mess with our 'performance' or whatever." She shrugged. What's even the point? You thought.

“Excuse me young lady.” Cap began, scolding Wanda like she was his teenager. Wanda smirked, turning towards his voice.

“Young lady?” Nat mocked her friend, nudging him out of the way as she reached for the piece of toast she had put in the toaster. She took a bite and over chews laughed, “You're really aging yourself, Cap.” She finished, hoisting herself up onto the kitchen island beside you.

You really liked Natasha. You thought she must have been the most beautiful person you'd ever met. Her red hair always curled around her soft features perfectly. You honestly didn't know how a human could look that perfect and be so deadly. Over the past few weeks, Nat had taught you a lot. You mostly trained with Captain Rogers and Wanda, but occasionally Nat would step in. She was small in stature, but she helped you learn how to use that to your advantage.

“What’cha say we go get some real coffee, babe?” Nat nudged you with a small smile. You looked up at her with a wide eye gaze. She truly was a hero.

“God, yes please.” You beamed as she jumped off the island.

“If you're skipping out on training then count me in! I” Wanda chimed. Rogers looked frustrated as the three of you started towards the door.

“Nat, you heard what Shuri said. Y/n cannot leave the premises until we know what she's fully capable of. She’s dangerous.” Cap stated firmly, but unmoved from the kitchen. You looked at the floor uncomfortably. He was right. You were a ticking time bomb. You all knew it. Shuri explained with the presence of the nightmares it was only a matter of time before something snapped. And no one really knew how that would look when it happened. For the most part, everyone treated you like a normal person. An honorary member of the team. But Rogers often reminded you that you were anything but. Just an experiment and a means to an end.

"Comeon' y/n. I know a place we can get some real coffee." Nat spoke, louder than Cap. Venom seeped from her words as she glared at the Captain. She shook her head disapprovingly. Wanda took your hand, pulling you gently out of the kitchen. When you touched you felt your skin sizzle, absorbing the power that surged through her body. You made a conscious effort to steady your breathing and push her power to the back of your mind. As you left you heard Natasha’s booming voice coming from behind you but decided to ignore it, as the two of you headed for the garage.

“Are you fucking kidding me, Steve?” Nat snapped at him. Steve opened his mouth and closed it trying to find the right words. “She’s a person, you ass! You can't keep treating her like some unhinged science experiment. She’s just a person. Just like me. Just like Bucky.”

“She’s nothing like Bucky!” He thundered. Nat took a step back, snaking her head disapprovingly. “I can’t keep thinking, what if we had it wrong. I mean, she can’t remember anything. What if her memories come back and she's not really on our side. I don't think we thought this through, Nat.” He huffed, running his hands over his face in frustration.

“I trust her, Steve. Bucky trusts her.” She started, taking a few steps closer to him. He shook his head in annoyance and scoffed.

“Bucky thinks the girl’s a doll. He’s totally smitten, that doesn't count. I think the guy would trust anything she said at this point-”

“Do you trust me?” Nat snapped, a brow arched, hands on her hips. Stever huffed, pinching the bridge of his nose.

“You know I do, but-” He began.

“Then it's settled. You gotta’ let the girl out. She's been locked up here for weeks. I promise, I’ll keep her safe. Besides, I’m getting pretty tired of her stealing my clothes. Coffee, and shopping and then we’ll be back, yeah?” Nat offered, voice dripping with sweetness. She knew she had won this battle. She always did.

“Two hours, Romanoff. That's all you get.” Steve grumbled. Nat smirked, rolling her eyes and spinning on her heel to meet you and Wanda in the garage.

“See ya later, Grandpa. Don't wait up.” She offered over her shoulder. Steve only shook his head and chuckled, hoping desperately he hadn't made a huge mistake.

Nat strutted victoriously out of the kitchen, and almost ran right into Bucky's large frame. She stumbled back, regaining her balance quickly. Bucky raised one brow curiously.

“Where ya’ going in such a hurry?” He asked, watching her carefully.

“I’m taking your girl out for a much needed shopping trip. Anything particular you'd like to see her in?” She quipped, sarcastically, flipping her hair over her shoulder. Bucky choked on a cough, clearing his throat and trying to turn it into a laugh. He failed, of course.

“I- ah, I don't know what- uh, what?” He finally got out. Nat smirkled, and patted him on his stiff chest. It was literally too easy. The man was such a ball of stress. Nat thought it was honestly cute. She’s never seen Bucky like this before. Nervous and blushing. She thought you were really good for him. Maybe you’ll finally take that stick out of his ass. She thought with a smirk.

“Have a nice day, Sergeant.” She cooed, pushing past his rigid body leaving Bucky in shock.

“You ready, babies?” Nat grinned, putting the key in the Jeep’s ignition. You sat in the back seat while Wanda sat in the passenger, both nodding vigorously.

“For the love of coffee!” You shouted, pointing forward. Both women laughed and with that you took off.

……………………...

You practically skipped through the Wakanda market. Beautiful earthy colours melted into the scenery practically taking your breath away. Wanda and Nat had stopped at a small coffee shop, but you wandered around, looking at the beautiful handmade clothing. The smoky smell of something cooking from a nearby street grill filled your senses. It was complex, sweet and spicy and sour all at once. It made your mouth water. Foreign and delicious. You followed the smell to a small hutch where people gathered around, eating and laughing.

“Beautiful isn't it? How food brings us all together.” A man spoke beside you. You recognized him as T’Challa, Shuri’s older brother and also the man who is letting you and your new friends stay in Wakanda. You had only really met him in passing, but never really spoke. Bucky always describes him as a kind, gracious friend. You smiled up at him.

“It is… Really beautiful.” You repeated.

“How are you liking Wakanda, Y/n?” He asked. His voice was deep and rich. Almost melodic. Just by speaking he had commanded the attention of the people around you. The new eyes on the two of you made you feel uneasy and small, but you took a deep breath and relaxed yourself.

“It's so gorgeous here. Thank you for having me, T’Challa.” You spoke his name and it made him smile. You froze unsure if that was the right thinking to call him. He was the King, sort of, but Bucky had always referred to him by his given name.

“Breath, my friend. You have nothing to fear here. You are with good people. Your friend Bucky speaks very highly of you. And any friend of the Sergeants is a friend of mine.” He voiced, placing a warm hand on your shoulder as you relaxed. From behind him you could see Nat and Wanda walking towards you. Wanda waved chaotically making you smile.

An old beat-up SUV made a loud popping noise as it pulled up somewhere behind you. The noise made you shudder. The familiar sound of gunshots rang through your ears as you grabbed your head, trying to make the noise stop. You looked to T’Challa who seemed only concerned, reaching out a hand to steady you.

“Is everything okay, Y/n?” He spoke, trying to gage what was wrong by your actions. The loud deady blows echoed through your head, unrelenting as a scream erupted through the crowd. You weren't sure if you had made the noise of if it was someone else. Everything seemed to fade away and your vision became blurry.

“Y/n, Y/n! Can you hear me?!” You heard a woman yell over the crowd. You tried to focus on her voice, but it was too late. Everything suddenly went black and you felt your body go numb.

You woke up in the dark cement room that plagued your nightmares. A man's eerie voice echoed off the walls.

“Еще раз!” Again! He shouted. Usually when you relieved these memories you didn't know what the man was saying. But for some reason, this time your brain was translating for you. You didn’t question it as you looked around the room. You felt your body scream as an excruciating electric shock ripped through you. Tears burned down your face as you begged incoherently for it to stop. As fast as it came on, the shock stopped, and you could breathe again.

“Ты сама во всем виновата, дитя мое.” You brought this on yourself, my child. The man cooed, wiping a bead of sweat that ran down your forehead. You winced at his touch, the feeling of him on you making you nauseous.

“Если бы ты только сделал то, о чем тебя просили. Если бы вы только слушали. Может быть, все было бы по-другому, хотя я сомневаюсь в этом.” If only you had done what you were asked. If only you have listened. Maybe things would be different, though, I doubt it. He spat, chuckling as he motioned for the other outside of view to start again.

“Please, don’t do this, Zemo. Обещаю. Возьми мою память. Заставь меня забыть, только не делай этого.” I promise. Take my memory. Make me forget, just don't do this. You begged. You tried to move your arms but they were secured down. The man only laughed at your feeble attempt, building a rage inside of you.

“Oh, don't you worry, мой ребенок. All in due time. When I’m done with you, you won't remember your own name.” He grinned a crooked smile as the machine you laid in whirled on again, sending a volt of electricity through your body. You clenched your teeth and stifled another scream.

Your eyes burst open, scolded by the sun and the tears that now streamed down your face. Gasping for air you tried to sit up, but your body shrieked with pain. On your left Nat sat beside you, Wanda was on your right holding a phone to her ear yelling something you couldn't quite make out. Your breath slowly began to return and the sunspots in your vision cleared. You looked around, the market was now almost empty but the small street grill was now billowing with smoke and flame. Nat helped you up, body still aching. You looked around, horrified by the mess that was once the lively market.

“Are you okay, Y/n” Nat started, her hands on either side of your arms. You blinked at her, terrified.

“What happened?” You asked, horrified to actually know the answer. She gave you a nervous look and tucked a loose hair behind her ear.

“It wasn't your fault, Y/n. No one was hurt, everyone got out. It’s going to be okay.”

“It most certainly is not going to be okay!” Captain Rogers' voice boomed from behind the three of you. Wanda spun around startled, while you just hung your head low. Whatever lashing he was going to give you, you deserved. It couldn't be any worse than what Zemo had done… You paused, eyes a gape.

“Oh my God.” You gasped, alerting the others. Steve looked at her angrily, impatient for your next words.

“I remember something… I think- I think I remember who did this to me.” You choked out, eyes glassy as you remembered for the first time the man who made you a monster.

................................

A/N: Thank you for reading! Hope all have a great weekend! As always, feel free to leave me feedback! My inbox is always open!

@projectcampbell

#bucky x y/n #bucky barnes #bucky x reader #bucky barnes smut #buckybarnes #marvel fanfiction #natasha romanoff #shuri x reader #captain america #steve x reader #steve rogers #bucky barns imagine

132 notes · View notes

goth-surana · 3 years

Text

Different Violence: Chapter 3

Main pairing: Anders/Male Hawke

Main Tags: hurt/comfort, whump, aftermath of torture

Chapter 3/3

Summary: They stayed like that for a long time, and Hawke tried not to cry again. He had almost lost this. If those Templars hadn’t been afraid of retribution from the Champion, he would have lost this. Every day, because of who Anders was, he could lose this.

Read on AO3 or below the cut

Hawke woke up the next morning with his head resting on Anders’ chest. He panicked for a moment, realizing that he was leaning on his injuries. But when Hawke pulled away, he was met with the sight of unmarred skin.

Anders was looking down at him, awake but still looking weary.

“You’ve healed,” Hawke said as he sat up.

“My magic came back in the middle of the night. Couldn’t sleep much, so I just took off the bandages. Justice is back too, and he sure had a lot to say. Lots of yelling.”

“Not at you, I hope,” said Hawke. Hawke was on good terms with Justice now, even considered him a friend on the few occasions they talked, but he knew the spirit could be unfairly demanding sometimes.

“No, not at me,” said Anders. “He was upset by what happened. He didn’t really know what was going on, only that I had been subdued and poisoned.”

Hawke ran a hand over one pectoral, remembering all too clearly what that skin had looked like yesterday. It was kind of amazing how it was just… gone. But it was also still there in the tired look on Anders’ face. Even healing couldn’t completely wash away what had happened.

“I’d like a bath, I think,” Anders said with a forced smile. He got up quickly and headed away, followed by Hawke.

Anders pulled one of Hawke’s house robes around himself as he waited for the tub to fill. Hawke was sometimes still in awe of the advanced plumbing living in hightown afforded him.

After the tub was filled, Anders took a seat on a stool and stuck his hands in the lukewarm water, casting a heating spell.

This was all so normal, Hawke couldn’t help but think. This could have just been another lazy morning.

But it wasn’t. Why was Anders acting like it was? But what else could they do? How could they even begin to address the nightmare of the past two days?

“Join me?” Anders asked after the water was hot. Hawke nodded and undressed, and slipped into the warm water behind Anders.

Anders let out a contented sigh and slid down until only his head and the top of his shoulders weren’t submerged, leaning back against Hawke. Hawke brought his arms around his lover in an embrace, once again feeling the healed skin. Skin he knew had been cut and bleeding mere hours before.

Hawke pulled Anders even closer instinctively, stroked a hand down his arm under the water.

They stayed like that for a long time, and Hawke tried not to cry again. He had almost lost this. If those Templars hadn’t been afraid of retribution from the Champion, he would have lost this. Every day, because of who Anders was, he could lose this.

Hawke could manage to forget that sometimes, when things went right for long enough. Events like the past days shattered that illusion. This was so fragile it hurt.

Before the water got cold Hawke offered to wash Anders’ back and hair, just wanting to touch him more and feel that he was okay. As he ran the washcloth over his skin he kept imagining the blood, the damage. Hawke’s hand glided over a shoulder where a particularly nasty gash had once been.

That was over now.

Anders sat still while Hawke worked shampoo into his hair, massaging his scalp. His shoulders were relaxed at first, until Hawke accidentally caught his hand on a knot and pulled his head a bit too hard.

Hawke felt Anders flinch away and he dropped his hands immediately.

Anders hunched in on himself, took a long breath. Hawke couldn’t see his face, but his body language told enough.

“Love?” Hawke asked, wanting to reach out and touch but knowing that was a bad idea.

“S-sorry,” Anders muttered. “That just… reminded me. They, uh, pulled my hair near the beginning.”

Another new detail. Suddenly the warm bath felt stifling, the heat almost nauseating.

“Continue?” Anders asked, turning to face Hawke with a tired smile. He was trying to brush it off, and Hawke wouldn’t let him.

“Not if that could make you think of that night.”

“Please, Hawke,” Anders asked, pleaded almost. He scooted back and turned in Hawke’s lap, a hand gripping his thigh.

“I need this. I need this to be normal. Just… it felt nice, you washing my hair. I don’t want to have to change what I do because of what happened.”

Hawke considered the man in front of him, could see the stress written across his tired face. Anders was exhausted, clearly in need of the comfort and touch of another.

Hawke would never deny him that, so he nodded in agreement. But even as Hawke continued to lather the shampoo and pause to stroke his lover’s shoulders, he couldn’t help but think Anders would not get his wish. It wouldn’t be normal, and wouldn’t be for a while.

Hawke hoped to the Maker that Anders was right and that he could just let what happened to him slide off like water. Hawke hoped Hawke was wrong.

—————————

Hawke was right. Unfortunately. The next incident happened a few weeks later when Anders had long since returned to his clinic and adventuring with Hawke.

Hawke, Isabela, Anders and Fenris were walking through Hightown on the way to a meeting with a noble contact.

It had been a pleasant walk until the clattering of armor echoed through the streets. Before any of them could react, a whole group of Templars rudely shoved them all to the side as they headed out.

“Bastards!” Isabela called after them, signing something vulgar.

Hawke was about to agree with her, when he saw Anders start walking towards a nearby alley. His footsteps were weak, and before Hawke could get to him he collapsed to his knees.

“Love?” Hawke asked, placing a hand on his shoulder. He was trembling, he was breathing too fast.

“Anders,” Hawke said, sliding into his field of vision. Anders looked up at him with wide eyes, then crumbled within himself and clutched his hands to his chest.

“Fuck,” he muttered weakly. “I’m- im fine. I just… can’t seem to… to breathe right.”

Hawke waited by Anders’ side until his breathing evened out. The other two didn’t say a word, and neither did Anders all the way to the meeting.

Hawke could tell Anders was still upset when they walked home. His face was sullen, embarrassed.

The two men entered the living room and Hawke gestured for Anders to sit on the couch with him. He did, but looked even more nervous.

“You’re going to ask about what happened today,” Anders said plainly, an air of resigned finality to his voice.

“…well, yes. But I know what happened. I just need you to know that I’ll be here if you want to talk about it.”

“That obvious, then?” Anders asked sardonically. He fiddled with his hands in his lap, looking anywhere but at Hawke. “The others didn’t just think Justice was losing it even more?”

“That’s not what you look like when Justice takes over,” Hawke told him gently. “And do you really wish they had thought that?”

“It’s better than them seeing me being… being afraid of Templars!” Anders said this with an air of incredulity, a deep frustration evident.

Hawke honestly didn’t know how Anders hadn’t been afraid of Templars before. And he also knew this wasn’t normal, rational fear anyway.

“I know you’re not afraid of them,” Hawke said, placing a hand on Anders’ hands clasped together in his lap.

“But… but I was,” Anders whispered harshly. He was trying not to cry. Hawke wished he felt free to feel emotions around him, even unpleasant ones.

“I was…in that moment I was afraid. It was the sound of their armor, the feeling of it against me. I don’t even know what came over me. It was like…” Anders took a deep breath. “I was like back in the Deep Roads.”

Hawke remembered that all too well, the pure panic Anders had gone through when Bartrand slammed the doors on them and left them for dead.

Hawke knew the man didn’t handle the dark well, nor enclosed spaces. Hawke hated that he had lived in Darktown for so long, and had relished being able to move him into his spacious manor.

“It was like when you’re anxious about the dark,” Hawke told him. “That’s okay, and this is okay.”

“It is not! I need to be fighting the Templars, I can’t run from them! I can’t just stop functioning when one appears.”

Anders looked bloody miserable, his head hung low and his eyes reddening.

There was a deep coiled anger directed at himself that had the man snared.

Hawke pulled Anders against him, into his lap, and just held on. Anders went willingly, rested his head in the crook of Hawke’s neck. Small breaths ghosted against his skin, and Hawke soothed an arm up and down Anders’ back.

“It’ll be okay,” Hawke told him. “You likely won’t have this reaction forever. You know how I used to freeze on the battlefield when an ogre showed up?”

He felt Anders nod.

“I don’t anymore, but it took me some time to not just go right back to when Carver died. It’s not rational, it’s just our minds. Think of it like a wound. No one is any lesser for having a wound.”

Anders sighed. “Wounds, I can heal.”

“You’ll heal this too,” Hawke assured him. “Not as fast as you’re used to, for sure, but it will heal nonetheless. Give yourself time, love.”

It had only been two weeks. If Hawke had his way, Anders would still be staying in the manor all day and doing less dangerous things. Hawke didn’t give a damn that the physical wounds had healed, he knew no one could just brush off what happened and he had been right.

Hawke could see the toll that night had taken on Anders, even if Anders refused to admit it. Even in the next few weeks he was jumpier than normal, stayed even farther away from Templars.

As Hawke had said before, he no longer took Anders to meetings with Meredith. Hawke’s temper became even shorter with the woman, he could barely see her self-righteous face without wondering if she knew about what happened to Anders and if she approved.

Unfortunately, that last question was answered in one such meeting.

Hawke had taken Fenris, Varric, and Isabela with him. This was usually who he brought because Aveline was always busy and Merrill was too at risk. At risk of what, Hawke didn’t quite know, but that night had shaken the confidence he had in the protection his own status awarded his companions.

Meredith gave Hawke a thinly veiled order to investigate some more runaway mages suspected of blood magic, and Hawke accepted.

“And even if they are not blood mages,” Meredith finished with, “they are still apostates and you will bring them back this time.”

Hawke had a bit of a habit of only bringing to justice mages who were hurting people, often with blood magic. Meredith needed Hawke to appear on her side so the nobles didn’t get any funny ideas about how much Hawke despised her.

“What’s it to you, then?” Hawke asked, feeling his worsening temper getting the best of him. “You don’t send me out to actually catch these people, you do it to show you have me under your thumb.”

“And it may cease to work,” Meredith sneered, “with how you flaunt the company you keep. You ought to really keep them in check. You know well that their protection only extends to their lives.”

Hawke saw red. He stood up from his chair and slammed his hands on Meredith’s desk, startling his companions but not the woman herself.

“You knew!” Hawke accused her.

“After the fact, but yes,” Meredith said with a raised eyebrow.

“Keep your pet on a leash or we will have to muzzle him for you again.”

Hawke raised a fist but was dragged away by Fenris and Isabela. Meredith only smiled.

“Your other friends are wiser. Heed my words Hawke, you bring me those apostates or I won’t stop my men from making a repeat performance. They are very creative, as you saw.”

Hawke’s head was filled with pure rage all the way back to his mansion. He should have known she would approve. Meredith knew if the Templars killed Hawke’s lover that he would refuse to cooperate, but also knew that concern for Anders’ safety would also force that cooperation. Anders was a pawn in her game to control the city, and now she had been handed a way to keep Hawke in check without risking blowing the whole agreement away.

Beaten, tortured, but still alive. Hurt, but still there to threaten to hurt worse. Best of both worlds for their sick minds.

————————

Hawke couldn’t stand the sight of Templars. He had hated them before, but now “hate” was too soft a word.

“Worry” was also too soft a word for how he felt about Anders these days. Meredith’s threats still rang in his ears, and Anders still did missions for the underground.

He still helped even as his breath hitched at the sight of Templars. He was fine now, he insisted. The situation for mages was only growing more dire, he could not abandon his cause.

And lately Anders wasn’t even telling him when he went on these missions. One day Hawke had begged him to stop, told him of Meredith’s words. Anders had only responded that Hawke should stay away then, so Meredith didn’t see his involvement.

“I won’t get caught again,” Anders told Hawke. Hawke found that hard to believe, and every night Anders returned late his heart pounded with worry.

It was even more concerning, then, that one day Anders did ask for his help.

He told Hawke of one Templar’s plan to turn every mage tranquil, and proof was needed to convince anyone in power to stop it before it was already over.

“Why are you asking me for help now?” Hawke couldn’t help but ask.

Anders looked guilty, knowing how much Hawke had wanted to help in the past.

“This is too important for me to mess up, I need backup for this. We’ll need to use the tunnels to access the lowest level of the Gallows, which is where they often keep documents.”

Hawke agreed to help, even roped Isabela and Varric into the plan. If Anders was going on this dangerous mission, Hawke would bring more than just himself for protection. He also knew that if Anders got in trouble, he would move the earth to make sure he wasn’t left alone with the Templars again.

———————————

The mission was… not exactly a success. Justice had completely lost control, almost killing a young girl.

When Anders returned to himself, he ran before Hawke could say anything.

Hawke was slightly too late to respond, and lost track of Anders in the tunnels. The other man knew them better than Hawke.

Isabela and Varric offered to stay behind and look for any proof, which Hawke barely had time to be grateful for because all he could think about was finding Anders.

He went to the clinic first, then the mansion. Not there. Hawke’s heart was racing, he was wracking his mind for locations Anders might find refuge.

Eventually he gave up, his head pounding with worry and his knees about to give out. He had no idea where Anders was. He could be anywhere, anyone could have caught him, the Templars could have caught him and-

The door to the cellar creaked slightly. Hawke bolted to the kitchen, and standing there was Anders.

The man looked listless, lifeless almost but Hawke barely noticed because he was too busy throwing his arms around the man.

Hawke buried his face in the crook of Anders neck and clung tighter, eliciting no reaction. Anders wasn’t even hugging back, just standing there.

“Thank the fucking Maker,” Hawke breathed out. After a few more moments he stepped back, keeping his hands loosely on Anders’ arms. Anders was just staring at him, pale.

“I…” he croaked out, “I only came back to get my pillow. I’m - I’m leaving.”

“What?” Hawke asked, truly dumbfounded.

“I c-can’t stay here Hawke,” Anders told him, a slight tremble in his voice. Otherwise he sounded blank, tranquil almost. Hawke shivered, trying not to think on that too much.

“I almost killed that girl. I’m a monster, and I need to leave where I can’t hurt anybody else.”

The words sounded rehearsed, like he had told himself this a million times.

“You’re not a monster, Anders,” Hawke told him. “You came back in the end, the girl is fine and thanks to you she is free!”

“Only because of you,” said Anders, still shaking but lacking any inflection. His eyes were blotchy like he had been crying, but that was over now and all that was left was emptiness.

“Come here,” Hawke said as he led Anders away gently. The man followed listlessly.

Hawke sat them both down on a couch in the living room, then reached up to brush a strand of hair from Anders’ face. He cupped his cheek, and gave the man a warm smile.

Anders just stared, then looked away.

“I still need to leave,” he said quietly. “You can’t make me stay… you wouldn’t.”

Hawke’s heart sank. “You’re right, I would never make you do anything. But please don’t go.”

It was all Hawke could think to say. Anders was silent for a long while, and the only noise in the room was the crackling of the fireplace. The light danced over Anders’ skin, caught his blonde hair. Even in his misery he looked ethereal.

“You’re spiraling,” Hawke told him gently. “You do this sometimes, remember? It won’t be as bad tomorrow.”

“It will,” replied Anders. “I still will have lost control of Justice. I thought I could keep him at bay, but… he couldn’t stand seeing Alrik again. I could barely- I thought I could handle s-seeing Alrik again…”

Anders was trembling harder, trying to fight back his emotions. Trying to fight back the very reaction Hawke had seen too many times since that night.

Hawke’s stomach dropped, and a chill went throughout his entire body.

“You-“ Hawke started, then had to stop. “You said you just had a “run in” with Alrik.”

This couldn’t be. Hawke hadn’t just walked Anders into a fight with-

Anders would have told him that-

Anders shook his head. “I didn’t want you to worry,” he said numbly. “The mission was too important, I had to try. I thought I could handle it.”

Hawke reached forward and pulled Anders into his arms, resting the man’s head on his shoulder and taking a deep breath.

It had been him. That man in the tunnels had tortured Anders. Hawke had come face to face with the man responsible and he hadn’t even known it.

At least he had the image of Justice ripping the man’s head from his body. At least Alrik died a gruesome death for what he did. For what he did to a lot of mages, it turned out.

“Let’s go to bed,” Hawke said. “You and I both need sleep.”

“I have to leave,” Anders said again, as numb as the first time.

“No you don’t. Not tonight. Tomorrow you can decide, but… please just stay for tonight.”

Anders nodded into Hawke’s shoulder. Hawke breathed a sigh of relief. He didn’t even want to entertain the idea that he could not convince Anders to stay.

Even if Anders left, he would go with him. With Carver dead, his mother dead, Bethany with the Gray Wardens… Kirkwall wasn’t his home so much as Anders was his home.

Hawke helped Anders undress and gently guided him to bed. He was in bad shape, even if physically fine.

Hawke wished Anders would have told him who Alrik was, it hurt that Anders didn’t. But wasn’t he right? Hawke would have worried.

Hawke had trouble sleeping that night, but Anders slept almost instantly. He was draped over Hawke’s chest, breathing deeply. This was more sound than Hawke had seen Anders sleep in a long time, and it must be because of how the day had drained him.

Would Hawke really be leaving tomorrow, or would he be able to convince Anders to stay? Another reason he wasn’t sleeping was the fear that he would wake and Anders would just be gone.

But despite that fear, the events of the day got to Hawke too and he drifted to sleep.

——————————

Anders wasn’t in the bed when Hawke woke up, and so Hawke started the day in a blind panic. He scrambled to put his clothes on, ran down the stairs.

Anders was standing in the hallway, wearing one of Hawke’s robes. Thank the Maker, he wasn’t dressed to leave.

“Anders,” Hawke said. “You scared me.”

“Oh,” Anders replied as his face fell. “I’m sorry… I wasn’t really thinking. I’m, um, I’m not going to leave.”

A huge weight lifted itself off of Hawke’s heart.

“Good,” Hawke said earnestly. “If you did leave you know I’d follow.”

“I do know, now that I’m thinking straight.”

It was good he knew last night he hadn’t been in his right mind. He had been confronted by his tormentor and lost control.

“I’m sorry I didn’t tell you about Alrik. I know now that was a terrible idea.”

“It’s okay,” Hawke said, taking Anders’ hand in his. “I know why you didn’t tell me. I get what you were thinking.”

There was a small silence before Anders spoke.

“I don’t know what I’m going to do now, now that I can’t control Justice. I don’t know if I can even go out to help you. I’m a liability now.”

“Last night wasn’t normal. It’s not every day that you’ll see someone who… someone who would provoke that kind of reaction.”

“I hope you’re right,” Anders sighed. “And I’m sorry. I’m sorry for trying to lock you out. Clearly that wasn’t a good idea.”

Hawke waited for Anders to continue, knowing the man wanted to say more.

“And I’m sorry to… well, myself and you that I keep refusing to admit… to admit…”

Anders took a deep breath. His next words were spoken with a thick voice.

“To admit that I’m not okay. That I haven’t been okay since that night. That I’m still healing.”

Hawke could almost cry tears of joy at those words. Sure Hawke could tell the man this every day, but that didn’t mean as much as him saying it himself.

“Take all the time that you need,” Hawke told him.

“….I wish it didn’t hurt like this. I wish I could just get over it. I wish I could just get over every fucked up thing that’s ever happened to me.” Tears slid down his cheeks as he spoke, but he didn’t seem like he was caving in with the effort of being okay. He looked freer than he had been in months.

“Pushing it down won’t do any good,” he continued. “I think Justice made me realize that. I’m not going to be able to control him until I admit I’m struggling.”

Hawke wrapped his arms around Anders and gave him a gentle squeeze.

“I’ll always be here to help you,” Hawke said. “You don’t have to be okay.”

“Thank you, love.”

Anders lowered his head to Hawke’s shoulder to cry, but they were tears of release. Tears that healed.

Hawke held Anders while he cried, rocked them slowly back and forth while Anders let out the pain of the paths months.

After a while Anders looked up at Hawke and smiled. Tears still glistened in his eyes, but he looked hopeful.

Hawke felt lighter, knowing that the real healing could finally begin.

#handers #m!handers #anders/male hawke #anders/hawke

1 note · View note

extreme-technicality · 3 years

Note

does talking to an anon help about ninjago help? cuz I'm down

DHDKCKGSC YES IT DOES THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR OFFERING YOUR SERVICES

Okay now that I know I won’t be clogging people’s dashes buckle the fuck in my dude and I should stress that I literally would not be talking about this as much as I will be if I didn’t genuinely enjoy the show. I’m gonna go season by season and just Rant

S1 has the serpentine as the bbeg and like, as far as villains go they’re p lit. They’re early enough that they haven’t been done to hell, things are fresh, the characters and dynamics are being fleshed out, and all in all s1 is a pretty solid season. There’s some fuckery that gets brought up re: how the FUCK aging works and what the actual timeline of Ninjago is and how Wu and Garmadon fit into that timeline, fuckery that LITERALLY NEVER GETS RESOLVED IN A SATISFYING WAY BC ITS REVEALED IN A LATER SEASON (s8, dw we’ll get there lmao) THAT THE ONLY REASON THE FIRST SPINJITSU MASTER, WU, AND GARMADON LIVED AS LONG AS THEY DID IS CUZ THEYRE BASICALLY DEMIGODS AND ITS IMPLIED THAT LLOYD WILL ALSO LIVE FOR A LONG ASS TIME WHICH MEANS ONE DAY HES GONNA OUTLIVE ALL HIS FRIENDS AND EVERYONE HE EVER LOVED WHICH IS A FUN THING TO THINK ABOUT AT NIGHT But anyway I digress, s1 also coincidentally introduces Lloyd (he wasn’t in the pilot episodes that set up the rest of the series) and the existence of Evil Dad Garmadon.

S2 is where Garmadon starts acting a lot more Evil and a lot less Dad. He’s the main antagonist for that season, and I actually read somewhere that the show was originally slated to end after s2 which high key explains the fuckery of literally every single season after this lmaooooo. Much like s1, I really can’t find much to complain about, the first two seasons are pretty decent as far as I can remember

Season. Fucking. Three. Where the fuck do I start??? I hate season three for entirely personal reasons revolving around the STUPID GODDAMN ROMANCE WRITING. okay lemme back up and explain a thing first so, Jay is dating Nya and they’re fine, they’re going steady, aND THEN????? THE BEGINNING OF THE SEASON INTRODUCES BULLSHIT LOVE TRIANGLE FUCKERY FOR ZERO GODDAMN REASON, BITCH I HATE LOVE TRIANGLES AND I HATE THEM EVEN MORE WHEN THEYRE DONE FOR NO GODDAMN REASON!!! AND THEN. AS IF THAT WERENT ENOUGH. THEY SHOEHORNED A ROBOT ROMANCE BETWEEN ZANE AND PIXAL AND I KNOW I RANTED ABOUT THIS A LITTLE BIT WHEN I WAS ACTUALLY WATCHING BUT I DIDNT GO INTO ENOUGH DETAIL!!!! THEY MADE THE OTHER NINJA OOC IN ORDER TO PROP UP THEIR SHIP!!!!!! AND AT ONE POINT ZANE GOES “its like we were…made for each other” AND I HAD TO FUCUCJDHVE I HAD TO SCREAM INTO A PILLOW BRO, IM SO TIRED!!!! NO THE FUCK YOU WERENT!!!!!! YOU WERE MADE FOR YOU AND PIXAL WAS MADE FOR PIXAL AND IF YALLS WANNA BANG BOLTS THATS FINE BUT DONT IMPLY THAT EITHER OF YOU WERE MADE INCOMPLETE!!!! THATS AN INSULT TO YOUR MAKERS AND YOURSELVES, MOVE ON, PLEASE AND THANK YOU. anyway that season also killed Zane (for the first time, but not the last) (spoiler alert lmao) and like, not to be an emotional little shit but I did cry a bit at his funeral.

S4 is honestly one of my favorites, even though the romance crimes continue (the love triangle bullshit is continuing and honestly I maintain that Cole, Nya, and Jay should all have gotten together and in my personal canon they DID, and also Kai has a forced romance) the VILLAIN makes up for it imo. He’s campy!! He’s funny!! He’s a clown!! He’s serious enough that if he says “I’m gonna kill you” HE MEANS IT and that’s so fucking refreshing!!!! S4 is honestly 8/10 just for the villain alone, don’t like that it retconned the SHIT out of the elemental masters and how many different elements there are TO master but eh, it’s ninjago, shit is stupid.

S5 was…interesting? OH WAIT I FORGOT TO MENTION THAT S3 INTRODUCED A GARMADON WHO WAS A LOT LESS EVIL AND A LOT MORE DAD, HONESTLY I THOUGHT IT TOOK A LOT OF THE FLAVOR OUT BUT THATS JUST ME LMAOOO. anyway s5 killed Garmadon, and I was a little sad cuz I like him okay??? I just think he’s NEAT, he’s got big dad energy, he was teaching Lloyd some shit that just got DROPPED and literally was never brought up again which is honestly a theme in Ninjago. Ninjago drinking game: take a shot every time they introduce a plot point or ability and drop it at or before the end of the season. WHICH THEY ALSO DID IN S5 WITH A DIFFERENT POWER ACTUALLY, so all the ninja are masters of Spinjitsu right, well s5 introduced the concept of Airjitsu which only Spinjitsu masters can learn and it lets them FLY and they used that for seasons 5 and 6 and then they nEVER BROUGHT IT UP AGAIN EVEN THOUGH IT WOULDVE COME IN HANDY FOR S E V E R A L DIFFERENT SITUATIONS ACROSS THE SEASONS, ONE OF THEM WOULD BE FALLING TO THEIR DOOM AND MY ASS WOULD BE YELLING “YOU CAN FLY, DUMBASS” - anyway, they do that again later lmao it’s fine. But what’s low key NOT fine is they made Nya the WATER NINJA!!! Like I’m not mad she has powers, except I kinda am, she was doing just fine as Samurai X and honestly the only reason she has super special ninja powers is for plot reasons. Also Cole got turned into a ghost, but by s7 he’s????? No longer a ghost????????? And that’s NEVER addressed or reasoned away, so like. Cool lmao

S6 didn’t happen. Like, canonically, s6 ends with wish fuckery that undoes the entire season and none of the characters remember anything that happened except Jay and Nya because S6 is the season where they get back together so they remember all those events for???? Feelings reasons?????? Unclear, moving on. The actual bbeg for S6 was a djinn with a vaguely Spanish accent, and to this DAY I don’t know why they made him have a SPANISH accent. Djinn are Arabic, not Spanish!! They’re not central or South American, either!!!! Your villain design makes no sense, do better

S7 had MORE time fuckery, and retconned what happened to Kai and Nya’s parents and hmmmhmhmhmhmhm that makes me Upsetti Spaghetti :3 not just the retconning, but the fact that they LITERALLY brought them back oNLY TO NEVER MENTION THEM AGAIN!!!!!! LITERALLY!!!!!!!! Okay so at the VERY very beginning, like pilot episodes beginning, Kai talks about their dad like he died/left fairly recently, BUT s7 contradicts that and claims that both of their parents were essentially abducted when Kai and Nya were little kids, which makes me question what in the fresh fuck two little kids were doing for all those years alone. SETTING THAT ASIDE FOR A HOT SECOND, their parents were also apparently good friends of Wu’s and old war buddies (from the Serpentine wars, which is YET ANOTHER bit of the timeline that doesn’t quite add up but honestly I could make a whole other post about that shit). But if they were such good fucking friends, why didn’t Wu check in every now and again??? What the fuck was Wu doing that was so fucking important that he couldn’t have been assed to visit his friends ONCE in like TEN MOTHERFUCKING YEARS and realize “oh shit, they’re not here and there are two tiny children running around unsupervised…My Kids Now : )” LIKE????? WU YOU LOW KEY SHOULDA LOOKED OUT FOR YOUR FRIENDS’ KIDS BETTER, THEY COULDA DIED BRO!!! Uhhhh the time fuckery also results in Wu getting yeeted ahead in time a bit and the ninja gotta find him

Season. Eight. I have…mixed feelings about this one. The beginning absolutely SLAUGHTERED me, and not in a “this is so fucking funny” way. No, the beginning made me feel like I was being flayed alive with just about every episode because Ninjago was back on its forced romance bullshit and this time it was Lloyd’s turn on the chopping block. That hurt my soul cuz like, look at that mans color scheme, he’s CLEARLY alloaro, why are you forcing romance on my aro man, why would you hurt me like that, BUT ALSO BECAUSE HE AND THE GIRL HE WAS BEING SET UP WITH HAD A LITTLE HEART TO HEART REALLY EARLY ON AND IT WAS THE MOST QUEER CODED SHIT!!!! IT DEADASS READ AS A CONVERSATION BETWEEN AN OUT AND PROUD QUEER AND A CLOSETED QUEER AND THEY MADE!!! IT!!!!! STRAIGHT!!!!!!!!!!!! The only thing that kept me watching at first was wanting to find Wu, and then I started enjoying myself once Cole found a plot-relevant baby and had fatherhood thrust upon him. Everything went from “ehhhhh” to “holy shit this FUCKS” once it was revealed that Rumi (Lloyd’s love interest) wAS PLAYING HIM THE WHOLE TIME AND WAS EVIL AND HAD AN EVIL GIRLFRIEND!!!!!! LITERALLY IMPROVED EVERYTHING ABOUT THE SEASON FOR ME, I COULD EVEN FORGIVE THE WHOLE “let’s resurrect Garmadon, but as evil as possible” BULLSHIT!!!!!!

S9 is a continuation of s8, Garmadon is back and 1000% Evil, 10% Dad, but none of the Dad energies is directed at Lloyd - it’s all directed at Rumi, and honestly I could write a whole ass post on just RUMI cuz that’s honestly my DAUGHTER and I LOVE HER and I’m MAD SHE DIES AT THE END OF THIS SEASON!!!! SHE DESERVED THERAPY AND TO LIVE WITH HER GF AND MAYBE SOME CRIME. AS A TREAT. RUMI DESERVED BETTER AND LOW KEY IM GONNA WRITE A FIC ABOUT IT, BUT ANYWAY WHERE WAS I

Ah right, so s9 has the four major Ninja stuck in the original dimension with no way home, while Lloyd has no powers (cuz he almost died last season) and has to somehow lead a resistance against Garmadon (who has taken control of Ninjago City and is working on the rest of Ninjago). Actually, s9 is pretty cool. Like, the end of s8 and into s9 are low key my favorite episodes, and I kinda wanna rewatch them now -

S10 is a FUN one. Garmadon got got last season, but he didn’t DIE, so he’s in cold storage and now there’s Another Threat and he’s the only one who knows wtf they’re up against so they let him out and he works with them. The funny part is, he is still Very Much Evil and doesn’t quite Get emotions like he did when he was, uh, human lmao, sO HE WOKE UP EVERY DAY DURING THAT SEASON AND DECIDED TO CAUSE PROBLEMS ON PURPOSE. IT WAS THE FUNNIEST FUCKING SHIT. 1000000/10 MY FAVORITE GARMADON, he ended that season by literally fucking off into Ninjago and they never decided to track him down 😭😭😭😭😭and I’m so SAD about it dude

S11 has another Serpentine as the bbeg, though in the setup to that they retconned how the fucking Serpentine tribes and history work??? I think???? Also Wu was a good 150% angrier and generally Done with the ninja’s shit, which was honestly refreshing tho I’m not quite sure I liked what the refreshed view was, but whatever lmao. S11 also had the ninja get yeeted to the dimension farthest from Ninjago, and honestly - okay, so they didn’t all go at the same TIME, Zane left about a week or two before the others did but there was time dilation fuckery afoot which I’m not too mad about cuz low key it makes sense. What I AM mad about is that they didn’t play the angst up to its full POTENTIAL!!!!!! Zane was EVIL in the other dimension!!!! Okay so I’m Ninjago he was only gone for maybe a week or two, but DECADES had passed in the other one, and all that time Zane was alone and disconnected from everyone he knew and loved, with a staff that boosted his power while slowly corrupting him and Turning Him Evil to help him, and like???? The thought of Zane trying to find a way home, trying to get SOME sort of message back, while he has to use the staff more and more to help him survive the long, lonely decades, so that by the time his family DOES show up its too late??? BRO. B R O. THAT JUST HITS DIFFERENT, BUT NINJAGO DIDNT DO THAT!!! THEY MADE HIM EVIL DUE TO MEMORY WIPE!!!!!! MEMORY WIPE IS BABY SHIT COMPARED TO A LONG, SLOW CORRUPTION!!!!!!

S12 was alright. It went into Cole’s mom, touched on some of the adventures she had had, threatened another forced romance (this time on poor Cole, just leave my mans ALONE) but thankfully didn’t follow through this time, introduced cool new powers that honestly hasn’t been elaborated on since that’s the most recent season I think lmao

Anyway thanks for reading and letting me rant!!!! I have,,So Much More I could talk about, PLEASE ask me about Rumi, some of my headcanons re: Garmadon and Wu’s dynamic, the Serpentine, my top five times they butchered Kai’s character for Plot Reasons, or anything else I brought up here that you want me to elaborate on!!!

#technical talks #ninja hoe #ask dadzawa #nonnie #this was honestly therapeutic tysm #and it let me kill time before I play Mario kart so bonus points!!#I definitely forgot to mention A Lot (like all the times one or all of the ninja lost their powers)#so like!!! feel free to bug me for more shit!!!!

1 note · View note

fictionkinfessionsarchived · 5 years

Text

Anonymous said: None of my asks were against the rules in the tagged link. Are there specific kins you won’t publish? I’m getting the feeling that they weren’t submitted due to a bias in the sources. If there are specifics you don’t publish, can we get a detailed list?

I cannot give you a list that does not exist! Nor can I give you any specific response as to why your kinfessions have not appeared beyond: they’re either in the inbox, or on the queue, or we never got them!

[fake edit because I just remembereed: oh yeah there is one aqua man calling people of my kintype fake that I’m not sure about posting! Are you them? Because I don’t know what to say to that honestly! I guess it’s funny but do I want to encourage people to use this a confession blog as a place to call people fake? I feel, not really!]

Anonymous said: @ source kins or source2 kins PLEASE interact @url,,,, like even if you’re just a sourcemate and not a canonmate i wanna know that im not the only one out there -a name who misses their canonmates...... (#🌠✉️)

Anonymous said: source kins? hello? any source kins out there?

Anonymous said: Hey its me, your Lord; name. Kind of fucked up because i woke up from a dream and it involved a whole lot of nasty involving name2 and i’m 100% Missing Her so much. source KINS PLEASE INTERACT. -regards 🔪🐀 (those are my emojis because im a rat)

This is not a call blog! Please don’t send confessions asking people to contact you, or to interact with the ask message! Please read the submission guidelines and call blog pages for links to call blogs!

Submission Guidelines: http://fictionkinfessions.tumblr.com/sg

Call blog: http://fictionkinfessions.tumblr.com/seekin

Mod Party Cat!

#not confessions #mod response #mod party cat!#mod posts #fakeclaim

8 notes · View notes

c0co-cos · 6 years

Text

Blue's Highest Rank

I felt horrible because I wrote someone else a story, but I didn't write @nozapuns-nsfw a story. So i'd like to award this Fan Fic to them. I absolutely love their artwork, and I hope they continue to work of their 'Fractured comic'

I love how listening to a song can completely change my idea for this story. It was first gonna be a full story and all, but throughout downloading music on my phone for a trip im taking, I found a gem.

The gem was "Oh Cruel Darkness, Embrace Me" by IAMX

So basically that's the song you should listen to while reading this.

Summary: Blue Berry was the best of the best. He was quickly going up the ranks to become part of the Royal Guard. That changed when Blue was introduced to Alphys and Undyne.

Tags:

Chapter 1: Oh Cruel Darkness, Embrace Me

Blue Berry was quickly working up the ranks. He started on the lowest of the low. Then he met Alphys, and thank lord he did. He was training with her, Every. Single. Day. He didn't really have any prior interactions with Alphys, but out of luck, they bonded quickly and things got straight to the point.

He had liked his time spent with Alphys, there was never a dull moment, Also he never knew what he was going to do during training. It always changed. It went to dodging attacks one day, to making Tacos in her kitchen the next. There was always something new to learn.

Blue wasn't sure when he met Undyne, but he knew Papyrus was friends with her. Papyrus didn't really get out the house much to hang out with anyone. Only time he went out was when he planned to get black out drunk at Muffets, but other than that, he found Papyrus going to Undyne's lab at random times during the night. He must have had a good reason to get up and go though. It wouldn't have been for nothing.

To Blues surprise, Papyrus actually knew Alphys. They had been friends before Undyne met Alphys. It always amazed Blue how almost everyone knew everyone in the underground.

Id it wasn't for Papyrus, he wouldn't know half the people he knows now. Papyrus was amazing. If it wasnt for him, Blue wouldn't have a room to sleep in nor have supplies to make food, even though Papyrus was mostly a lazy bum, he was Blue's lazy bum brother.

"Hey Alphys! Im here for today's training!" Blue couldn't wait for today's training, Alphys had something new in store, and laster on, Papy was going to come over and view their hard work.

Alphys jumped at the sudden loud voice coming outside her house. She had invited Blue earlier than usual, it wasn't something new shes done, but today she had a reason, and pulling it off wasn't going to be easy.

"Woah Blue, you scared me! Come on in, I gotta prepare the rest of the supplies."

Blue had already let himself in with the Key she leaves under the door mat.

"Wow Alphys, this place looks better and better each time we cook! With that being said, what are we making today? More tacos?"

"No, something better. Lets look at the menu."

Blue grabbed the piece of paper with the big letters on it spelling out 'MENU'. It had also been something Alphys did to tease Blue right before they started cooking. It was always Tacos, but he kept up the running gag, just for the giggles of it.

He unfolded it, revealing what they were going to make today. He eyes shrunk with fear.

"Today were making you.... Alphys this isnt funny you know!"

He saw Alphys out of the corner of his eye, he could see bright yellow magic coming off from her magically formed weapon. She loved using an axe. He quickly moved out the way, also using his bone attack to dodge it. He moved just in time, any second later, he would have been dust.

"Ha, nice Blue! You're getting better and quicker with each attack I throw your way. Sorry about my lil joke there, had to do something to get you distracted."

Blue's heart was pounding out of his chest. He knew at one point furing todays training, this would happen. Alphys said she does this to make him become aware of his surrounding at all times, but it still scared him shitless. Alphys could tell that Blue was very shook.

"Oh gosh, im sorry Blue. I should have done it while we were actually cooking. I won't do it again, I swear, just sit down at the table and ill make you some tea."

Blue dis just that. It was great to know Alphys didn't mean any harm, she never does. It was just a small scare, nothing else right?

"Here your tea Blue, again im sorry I did that. I wrote it for the fuck of it, then the idea came to mind where i can do the daily 'scare blue' skit, but it back fired. I truly am sorry Blue."

"No worries Alph. I know its a joke, I just need to stop being a big cry baby about it. Also thanks for the tea. But it's um.. Kinda sweeter than usual. What happened to 'my soul is black so my coffee and tea have to be the same'?"

"Oh actually its a different type of tea. Undyne gave it to me to try, and right now i can try it. But Blue, lets actually talk about the Guard. You kno--"

Blue couldn't think straight. He felt as if his whole world was spinning. He didn't like it, not one bit. Was it because of how scared he got earlier? Was he having a panic attack? He wouldn't know. He never had one before.

"Hey Alph. Im sorry but i think I got to cut th-this short. Sorry, it was uhh fun?" Blue was breaking a sweat by now. Maybe he was actually having a panic attack? Also what would he do about ? Papyrus wasn't home yet, and the way he was feeling, he wasn't getting home like this.

Blue looked up at Alphys. Her straight face had been completely gone, covered with a huge grin, starting from one side of her face to the other side. Blue was expecting her to look more freaked out like she had been when she had accidentally hurt him during training, but she stood absolutely still, giving Blue a horrid feeling.

"Oh please blue, what's wrong? Here, if you insist on leaving, let me carry you out the door." she said while walking towards his area. Blue was too freaked out by her fake response. It had seemed practiced, meaning she knew something he didn't.

Blue hesitated, backing away slowly from her, before bolting to the door. Even with how he was feeling, he could sense the danger. He didn't even make it anywhere close to the door, falling down after taking a couple of steps towards the direction. He couldn't move, and felt horribly tired.

For good measures, Alphys pinned him to the floor, magical axes surrounding him and the exit, if he planned to leave.

"Alphys? Why? What and why are you d-doing this? I'm sc-scared. Please, if I did anything to hurt you, l-l-let me know. I'll fix it just plea--" Blue had been cut off after he felt Alphys step on his ribcage. It hurt like hell, but he could take it.

"Honestly Sans, I'm sick and tired of you. Im doing this for myself, im just the message man at the point. But other than that, I can't stand you. Did you really think you, out of ALL monsters in the underground, you would be the same rank as me? There are kids, younger than you who have an actual chance of being in the Royal Guard. Sorry blue, you wont get the rank you want. But hopefully, this rank suits you and your lazy ass brother."

By this time, Blue had been trying to pull her leg off his ribcage. She was close to breaking it, and he would rather have a ribcage than none at all.

"OKAY OKAY OKAY G-GET YOUR LEG OFF!" Blue was struggling at this point. She was going to break it. He didn't want to die by getting stepped on, he was going to die in battle protecting everyone in the underground.

Alphys showed mercy, slowly lifting her leg off of his ribcage.

"This is how it's going to work okay Blue? I'm going to knock you out, don't worry, the most that would happen is you get a bruise, and I'll call Papy. You'll find everything out later. Goodnight Blue! Don't let the bed bugs bit."

Alphys couldn't really be doing this... It was a dream. He had to be. She would never harm him. At this point, hopefully Alphys knocking him out will cause him to wake up from this Nightmare.

Alphys came up to Blue, fist closed, ready to come in contact with his skull. It wasn't long before Blue actually knocked out.

Lucky for Alphys, the tea did most of the work, all she had to do was get him asleep. All she had to do now was call Papyrus and get him to teleport over to Undyne's lab.

Talking to people over the phone wasn't the easiest thing to do for her, but hey. She lied to Blue for most of tome they've known each other, so it shouldn't be harder over the phone.

"Pa-Papyrus? Oh thank god! Please come over quick! Its ! H-He fell and hit his head on the table! Come quick!"

Lucky for her, She didn't really have to give much detail regarding where she lived. Sometimes Papyrus would walk Blue home after practice, so he knew the way here. In seconds, a 'pop' noise came from inside her restroom.

"where is blue? oh my gosh... what happened?"

"I- I don't know! We were about to make Tacos, and he fell! Please take us to Undyne's lab, Im certain she knows what to do! S-she'll help!"

Papyrus didn't even have to think twice, he picked blue from off the floor, and teleported right into the lab.

Undyne was no where to been seen, and as the looks of it, so was Alphys. That's strange. Alphys was right next to him as he teleported.

"UNDYNE. NOW." Papyrus heard Alphys scream.He couldn't even turn his head before he passed out from whatever they did to him.

Him and blue were up for it when they woke up.

The story is also on my AO3, at @/sintaley if you would like to read it there :)

29 notes · View notes

notailtheories · 6 years

Text

NotailsAndMore Tweet Compilation 2

Last Compilation | Next Compilation

This section will contain the tweets that I consider make up Act 2. Because they are not actually from O-1, you could also consider them an intermission... But they still hold important information either way. OwO

This batch of tweets began a little over an hour after the last round stopped... Which isn’t a very long pause. You can most easily tell the difference because this person’s face is “TvT” rather than “=)”, if you’re looking to track these from the Twitter itself... OwO

98 |

I passed out and I wake up to me being logged into this creepy ass notail fact account. Fuck off who did this? TvT

Reply to 8, & 99 |

hate to be a stickler for details but you didn't say a fact just a question tho i *would* like to know some notail facts about my dark past :D

Holy fuck. Look if you know me O-2 sir I just want you to know I did not make this account or tweeped at you, I just woke up to this. Who tweeps shit like this at an O-class? TvT

100, reply, & 102, reply, 108, reply, & 112 |

X-7364 if this was you and some of your shitty experiments I WILL strangle all of your dirty rats. These O classes could order my death for no reason. You even used my actual email to do this. They could figure out who I am! TvT

Your buddy even said "fuck you" to me. Now that guy's got some real claws. >:3

I am so sorry O-6 sir. I had nothing to do with this but I will still apologize. Please forgive me, I'm ok if you don't forgive my friend and kill him though. TvT

Grovelling ain't pretty, you know. But hey, you ain't done anything, right? Maybe I'll let you go. >:3

You would be most kind if you let me go for words that were not my own. Thank you. TvT

I'll think about it. >:3

Thank you. That is all I ask, and all I am allowed to ask. TvT

Reply to 98, 101, reply, 109, reply, 113, reply, 114, reply, & 115, reply, 118, reply, 119, reply, 120, reply, 122, reply, 124, reply, 125, reply, & 126 |

lol u rly had me worried there sweetie :3 im still curious abt this whole thing if u want 2 help me find out abt it :3

I didn't write any of this! This has to be an X class prank. "Ha Ha, make your friend pass out, make an account with their email and possibly kill them by telling O-6 that you love them. So funny!" TvT

lmao u creeped out like every single o class tho i think thats kinda an achievement u should be proud of urself :3 whoever made this account was saying some really spooky stuff tho do u think it was just creepypasta or what :3

Please don't say I did it. I had nothing to do with this. I wouldn't contact the O classes, much less say such things to them, for they are most favorable to my survival. It was just some shitty prank. Some of the reactions are, strange, but that is no matter to me. TvT

watching u suck up 2 them is rly funny lol but kk babe i guess ill drop it :3 smh i thought this was something cool :3

I rather not relate "something cool" with angering the O classes but I understand. TvT

suckuuuuuuuup :3

I rather live a suck up than die for something I didn't do. TvT

how abt i give u smth else 2 suck on hot stuff :3

Look I don't even have a tweeper and I'm about to abandon this account and never touch it again. So my response to that is "um bye." TvT

i hate 2 see u leave but i love 2 watch u go :3

That's extremely holy and not ok. TvT

i hope ur not as disappointing in bed as ur friends failed arg was on tweeper :3

How could a notail raise so high to grace? TvT

u sure raise some things of mine baby :3

I would block you but I'm not going to be related to this account anymore, and if my friend logs back in I'm ok with him getting fucked over by your words. TvT

id prefer 4 u 2 to get fucked by me :3

Courtship between notails is not ok, but I suppose you know that. Just understand that "no." TvT

lol our society sux anyway i dont think its possible to pollute our gene pool more than its already fucked up babe :3

Ok well society gives me a roof over my head, food, and the time I got bit by a mallon I was experimenting on society fixed my arm before it rotted away. So we'll have to agree to disagree. TvT

lmao :3 the more u talk the more stupid and boring u seem :3

Says the notail who keeps going after clearly making me uncomfortable. But "sigh" I guess that's most people. TvT

ppl are funniest when theyre uncomfortable :3

Typical notail. You fit in just nicely. TvT

Original, 103, reply, & 105 |

@NotailsAndMore is it time for my 13 other facts?

Look it up yourself? Go read the Cosmosdex or something. I may be a K class but I'm not some fact machine. TvT

The what

Can you not look up basic and common terms? Geez look. http://cosmosdex.com/cosmosdex/ TvT

104, reply, & 107 |

X-7364 just walked in with coffee and called me a sleepy head. Said I passed out after intensely working on typing. Said I wouldn't respond to me when he had a question. He's lying, he knows he went overboard this time. TvT

You may want to improve your security. This could have ended very badly for you. :V

I will do what you recommended O-7 sir as you are most wise as all O classes are. I do have good security, I must have passed out so fast my computer didn't lock so my roommate and coworker decided to fuck with me. TvT

106, reply, 111, reply, & 117 |

I just checked the profile page to see if I could find some evidence of who did this. "i'm not sorry i told the truth when you didn't. no one deserves lies." The hell. If this is over lying about who ate the last pizza I'm going to be pissed. TvT

This went better for you than it could have mate, but I would recommend keeping closer guard over your belongings. Some of the other O-classes seem a bit agitated right now. uvu

Fully understood O-5, who kicks clockworks across the skies. I'll attempt to not pass out at my computer with my roommate around. TvT

The epithets aren't necessary mate. But maybe give your roommate a kick so they don't pull this again for good measure. uvu

I will make sure to give him a kick no matter how much he says he had nothing to do with this. Thank you for the advice O class. TvT

Original, & 110 |

@NotailsAndMore Once you figure out who did this, send me their ID number. Immediately. unu

I....think it's my roommate X-7364, but he's swearing the whole time this was going on I was working and refused to respond. I don't believe him but he sounds so serious about this. TvT

Reply to other party, & 116 |

Is there any way I can convince it to become a solid Yes? c:<

(Note: I won’t record this whole exchange because I don’t think it’s relevant... The context is O-8 is looking for who made this account. That’s all. OwO)

I know this is rude of me, and feel free to confirm this, but will you spare my roommate? He seems so honest in his pleads that he didn't do it.... He's the only one who could have done it, so it's him, but it seems like he regrets it deeply now. TvT

Original, 121, reply, 123, reply, & 127 |

I really am impressed by how many people they managed to unsettle in, what, an hour? uvu

Honestly as an X class he is naturally unsettling but I've never seen him act this badly. I wonder if I really ticked him off with the pizza thing. TvT

I've dealt with much worse than some X class...if it was just that then whatever...what does your friend know....OwO

I wish he would just admit it already. He said a few really odd things on this account and I have no idea where he's getting it from. Just. Fucking admit it X! Why is he being so rude to O classes you guys could KILL or BANISH us. TvT

It feels like something stranger is going on...OwO

It's just a stupid prank. A stupid prank that's now getting us basically evicted cause we can't stay here anymore. Stupid, stupid, prank. TvT

128, & 129 |

Ok this account is done. My roommate likely made this account as a laugh and somehow got the attention of the O classes. I'm sorry this happened even though I had nothing to do with it. I wish I could say my friend was sorry too but he's pissed off. TvT

Logging out, and never logging back in again. Yet again. Sorry for all the problems this account caused. Just unfollow this account. Bye. TvT

[ THIS ACCOUNT IS DEAD | Shitty prank by shitty roommate/friend who refuses to admit it | Will never be logging in ever again ]

Last Compilation | Next Compilation

#fortuna #cosmosdex #category: references #category: o1 #category: notailsandmore #category: twitter #mod OwO

1 note · View note

goffilolo · 6 years

Text

Demise of Midoriya Izuku Part 8

God this was a long chapter. I hope you will enjoy it. you can read the full fanfic on ao3 here: https://archiveofourown.org/series/776826

I’m currently on a christmas break, however i have a very long essay to write so im not sure if ill be able to write/draw any more demise!au stuff.

Izuku was tired.

It was nothing new per se, as for the last month the teenager has become very well acquainted with the feeling of exhaustion as a side effect of his medication. “It’s normal” said Shin during their last appointment “Your brain is still going through an adjustment period, and insomnia is a rather common side effect of a lot of antidepressants”. So yeah, it was all good.

Except it wasn’t.

Given that no one was willing to rid the boy of his sleepless turmoil, Izuku decided to take the matters into his own hands. Because fuck Shin. In the hindsight, all of this was a very bad idea.

It all started during one of his usual conversations with Mrs. Todoroki, only this time they were joined by her daughter Fuyumi. The first observation Izuku made upon her entrance, was that this young woman was almost a splitting image of Mrs. Todoroki, save for the hot red streaks in her hair, undoubtedly inherited from her asshole father. After talking to her for a bit, Izuku was quite pleased to learn that she has not in fact inherited her father’s god tier assholism. Izuku has never met the man, he doesn’t need to, at least not yet.

After brief introductions they have resumed to their previous conversation.

“So how did meeting with piece of shit go?” asked Mrs. Todoroki, her question quickly followed by Fuyumi’s scandalised expression at hearing her mother use such foul language.

“Meh, it was your typical melodrama bullshit. Some shouting and insults were thrown around, well mostly by me, and crying” replied Izuku in a rather nonchalant fashion, completely disregarding Fuyumi’s shock and confusion.

The word got round quickly in this ward, meaning that most of the patients and staff were in on Izuku’s personal drama and so they all came to a silent agreement to refer to Bakugou as ‘piece of shit’ and never call him by his actual name. And so over time Bakugou became the psychiatric ward’s very own Voldemort. But Fuyumi doesn’t know that yet, bless her soul.

“You actually cried?”

“Oh no, not me, piece of shit did. Honestly you should’ve been there, Shin was there for emotional support and kept staring daggers at him, it was hilarious” sneered the boy upon remembering the Bakugou shitshow with some sort of twisted fondness. His enthusiasm was however quickly disrupted by a long, loud yawn coming the boy’s mouth.

“Didn’t get a good night’s sleep?” asked Fuyumi.

“More like a good month’s sleep” snapped Izuku, rubbing his temples as much as the bandage around his head allowed him to. “And that bitch Shin won’t prescribe me anything cause it would clash with my antidepressants” scoffed the boy.

“You know that Dr. Iyashi cares about your wellbeing and wouldn’t want to give you anything with nasty side-effects” said Mrs. Todoroki as she stroked Izuku’s shoulders in a gentle, matherly manner.

“Wait a minute” chimed in Fuyumi “Prescription won’t do, but what about over the counter stuff? There must be some sleep relief that you could take”.

“Oh, really?” said Izuku, with a hint of amusement and sarcasm “What are gonna do? Smuggle some Quil into the hospital for me?”

The determined smile on Fuyumi’s face told Izuku that indeed, she would. ‘Well then’ thought Izuku ‘This is going to be fun’.

The next day Izuku has found two bottles being dropped onto his lap, while the boy was busy filling up his notebook with sketches of Endeavour being eaten alive by crocodiles. If you looked closely enough you’d also notice that some of them contained an already half eaten Bakugou.

He raised his brow at the bottles, then looked up to see Fuyumi looking very smug.

“I got the Quil” she said, very proud of herself.

“I can see that” replied Izuku, looking back and forth between the two bottles “Why two?” he asked, confusion and curiosity seeping into his voice.

“I forgot whether you needed DayQuil or NyQuil so I got you both!”

Looking at very pleased Fuyumi, Izuku didn’t have it in him to grace the statement with a proper reply that wouldn’t point out the stupidity and irresponsibility of casually getting two substances that are meant to do the exact opposite, which then lead to a train thought of ‘what if you mix them?’.

“Thank you Fuyumi-neesan!”

And thus Izuku was left alone in his hospital room, the notebook long forgotten, staring at the content of the two bottles, as the nerdy part of his brain deciding to wake up and cause drama. ‘If you mix DayQuil and NyQuil, you end up with what, ForeverQuil? Or given that the substances are meant to do the opposite would they cancel each other out and have no effect when consumed simultaneously? No, that doesn’t seem right, it’s more likely that they would disturb a sleeping pattern, but given that mine is already fucked, how would I be able to tell...’

“SHIT, I’m mumbling again!”

So many questions that demand to be answered, a hypothesis that needs a confirmation and a curiosity waiting around the corner, ready to kill the metaphorical cat.

“Ugh, fuck it” said Izuku as he gulped down both substances in one go.

That’s when everything went to shit.

At first he didn’t feel any different. He spent a good portion of time looking out of the window, admiring the weather - it’s almost May so the days were getting brighter, warmer - waiting for something, anything to happen.

Things got a bit blurry after a while. Izuku could feel his BRAIN getting blurry, which he didn’t even know was possible. But apparently losing contact with reality does things to you.

As Izuku slowly regained clarity, the first thing he noticed was the sluggish feeling and the pounding in his head, reminding him of the first time he woke up in this god forsaken loony bin.

The second thing he noticed was the darkness. At first, he thought that one of the nurses has closed the curtains while he was out of it, but no, the curtains were open, and upon closer inspection Izuku came to realisation that it was in fact, night time. Which was strange...to say the least, since it was still sunny just a few seconds ago. ‘Is this some sort of a quirk? Probably not.’ he thought, which meant there was only one option left.

“FUCKIN HELL I TRAVELLED THROUGH TIME!”

His shout was followed by a tired groan, which definitely did not belong to him.

“Dr. Iyashi, he’s at it again!” shouted Mrs. Todoroki.

Wait a minute, Mrs. Todoroki? When did she get here?

Izuku whipped his head to the side, where the woman was sitting in a chair by his bedside, with Shin standing in the doorway, looking down at a clipboard.

“What the-shit did you get in here?” asked Izuku, his brain still sluggish and disoriented about the whole situation.

Shin chooses that moment to walk into the room “Do you remember what happened?” he asked.

“No? I was sitting here and it was day and suddenly it’s night, so obviously it was Quil induced time travel” said Izuku, as his lagging brain allowed for all the ridiculous bullshit to spill out of his mouth.

Shin does not look impressed.

“You absolute, fucking idiot!” shouted the doctor “Why in the world would you mix DayQuil and NyQuil together? Are you completely insane? What did you think would happen?!”

“First of all, if I was sane I wouldn’t even be here. Second of all, who told you about my Quil?” asked the boy, his eyes suddenly focused, full of suspicion.

At that moment Fuyumi poked her head through the entrance and waved at Izuku as she made her way through the room and stood by her mother’s side.

“Sorry, I had to tell him since it’s all my fault you went delirious in the first place” she said, her face portraying nothing but guilt.

“It was very irresponsible of you!” said the doctor, his gaze switching between Izuku and Fuyumi “Not only did you take medication against a doctor’s recommendation, you even roped others into smuggling unauthorised substance into the hospital…”

And Shin went into the ‘ranting dad’ mode. It was a perfect time to zone out.

While the doctor was busy lecturing everyone about the dangers of overdosing and mixing medications, Izuku picked up the discarded notebook in hopes of finishing that sketch of Endeavour being devoured by crocodiles. His drawing skills were improving, that’s for sure. Maybe once he’s finished he’d show it to Mrs. Todoroki.

‘I think she would like that’ thought Izuku.

Except when he opened his notebook on the most recent page, instead of Endeavour massacre, Izuku was met with lines upon lines of text, written in what can only be described as very rushed and frenzied handwriting, which undeniably belonged to Izuku. The pages were also adorned with big bold letters at the top stating ‘ENDEAVOUR THE ROOT OF ALL EVIL’.

‘When did I write that?!’ Izuku was rather astonished as he started to skim through his writing and came to a conclusion that what he was reading was in fact a conspiracy theory. A very detailed one at that.

“Izuku, are you listening?” asked the doctor.

“No” he replied absentmindedly.

But the writing in his notebook and the overall situation left Izuku very confused. The moonlight illuminated parts of the room, a reminder of a mysterious time slip, which apparently was not quil induced time travel. Izuku needed the answers, and he needed them NOW.

“Can anyone tell me what happened?”

His question was met with a long, awkward silence, as the other individuals in the room looked at one another, not knowing what to say.

“Alright…” Mrs. Todoroki broke the silence “...where do we start?”

………………………………………………………………………………

Iyashi Shin was finally having his well deserved lunch break. After starting his shift at 6 am, he felt exhausted and he was barely halfway through. And so Shin planned to have a short nap during his break to recharge. ‘What am I, an old man?’ he thought to himself ‘Probably, at least I’m on a good way to becoming one. Not getting any younger either, I’m turning forty next year.’

‘Ugh, this calls for a mid-life crisis nap’ he thought while lying on the couch in his office, being slowly lulled to sleep by the ticking of the clock.

Suddenly Shin was awakened by an obnoxiously loud laugh coming from the corridor. He was annoyed at having his nap interrupted, but the annoyance was outweighed by sheer curiosity, as one does not get a lot of laughing in this part of the hospital.

The doctor soon got up and opened the door he was once again met with the obnoxious laugh, only this time louder as it came from a man who was currently walking out of Izuku’s room.

“Haha...it was nice talking to you Midoriya. I’m glad you’re in a good mood” called out the man “I’ll be back tomorrow to check your homework!”

‘Homework? Ah, it must be Izuku’s teacher’ thought Shin with a bit of suspicion as he remembered his patient talking about his homeroom teacher in a … less than friendly manner.

‘So why would the laugh? I thought Izuku hated the guy.’

As the teacher walked away from Izuku’s room he bumped into Shin, who was standing in the middle of the corridor, lost in thought.

“Ah, Dr. Iyashi didn’t see you there!” exclaimed the teacher. He sure was in a good mood, a stark contrast to his usual visits.

“Good afternoon, how was your visit?” asked Shin, trying to squeeze out some details out of the man.

The teacher laughed again trying to get a hold of himself “Oh it was great, I haven’t laughed so much in ages. Whatever meds you put him on, they’re doing god’s work!”

“Really? What did Izuku say?”

“You know Bakugou-kun, right?”

“Of course, the one responsible for the shitstorm that is Izuku’s depression” stated the doctor as a matter of fact.

The teacher stilled his movement, unprepared for the blatant statement. Trying to dissolved the tension, he continued “Yeah, him. Anyways, Midoriya was asking about him and he seemed stuck on on his name so he said…” he stopped for a bit, trying to mimic his student’s voice and speaking manner “ ‘you know the angry, shouty one, what was his name...Fuckugou?’ and I just lost it right there! Buahaha!” sneered the teacher, waiting for Shin to have a similar reaction.

And boy was he not disappointed.

“Fuckugou!” exclaimed Shin “That’s a good one, gotta tell it to the nurses, it will spread like wildfire!”

………………………………………………………………………………

“Fuckugou?” asked Izuku.

“Fuckugou” confirmed Shin.

“That...is funny as hell, but it doesn’t really sound like me.”

“I know, which is why I was concerned. Mind you I still needed my nap, so I asked Mrs. Todoroki to keep an eye on you in the meanwhile” explained the doctor as both him and Izuku turned their heads in the direction of the white haired woman.

………………………………………………………………………………

Mrs. Todoroki was having a good day. And by good she meant boring. In all honesty there’s only so much a person can do in this place before being driven further into insanity. She was currently sitting in the common room in the company of her daughter who has dropped in earlier to give Izuku the sleeping medication they talked about yesterday.

Which is why she was more than a little surprised when Dr. Iyashi approached her, asking to keep an eye on Izuku, who right now should be sleeping like a baby from the medication.

Nevertheless she agreed, as the doctor seemed deeply concerned about the boy who has managed to settle himself nice and cosy in a particular place in her heart; reserved exclusively for her children. ‘Well then’ thought the woman as she came to a realisation ‘Looks like I now have five children.’

Just as Mrs. Todoroki considered brushing off Dr. Iyashi’s concerns, her train of thought was disrupted by a maniacal laugh that belonged to no other than Izuku himself.

The teenager in question wheeled himself into the common room at a speed that should not be achievable for a wheelchair, his hair wilder than usual, eyes wide open, pupils dilated. The boy’s face was devoid of any sanity.

“HOLY SHIT MRS. TODOROKI!” he screamed.

“Are you high?” she asked, full of disbelief at the state the boy was in.

“I got the answers” announced Izuku, completely disregarding the woman’s question.

“What answers?”

“All the answers! To everything! I CAN FEEL THE UNIVERSE EXPANDING IN MY BONES!” shouted Izuku, further disturbing and scaring other occupants of the room.

‘Oh, is this why Dr. Iyashi was concerned? What do I do with him?’

“Right…” said Mrs. Todoroki, hoping to distract the boy for a bit “...why don’t you sit with me and Fuyumi and tell us all the answers? Just remember to keep your voice down” she added in her motherly tone.

Although Izuku seemed quite out of contact with reality, he did as he was told. After wheeling himself next to Fuyumi he whipped out one of his notebooks seemingly out of nowhere and began to speak.

“From the evolutionary standpoint my existence is a liability to human advancement. Every year the number of people born quirkless decreases as our gener are to be replaced with the superior ones of those with quirks. I’m going extinct! Both my parents have quirks, yet I was born without one, I’m an anomaly I SHOULD CEASE TO EXIST!” screeched Izuku as he seemed to be having an existential crisis that was accompanied by what he thought were diagrams from his notebook, which to everyone besides him looked like a bunch of gibberish and nonsense.

“WHY DO I EXIST?” screamed the boy in agony as once again he began to wheel himself at an impossible speed out of the room.

The Todoroki women were left stunned, looking at one another and then back at the spot previously occupied by the insane teenager.

“What did you give him?” asked the mother.

“The Quil”

“What Quil?”

“All the Quil.”

“Go and get Dr. Iyashi. I’ll stay here in case Izuku comes back” she said while rubbing her temples out of frustration.

………………………………………………………………………………

“Oh, fuck, what happened after that?” asked Izuku, no longer in disbelief, but amusement. While he had no recollection of any of this happening he felt like he was listening to a rundown of an episode from ‘it’s Always Sunny In Philadelphia’.

He seemed to be the only one enjoying himself though. The adults in the room on the other hand were very much tired of his shit after having to deal with Quil induced Izuku the whole day.

“You wheeled yourself around the ward while screaming ‘I challenged God to a knife fight’. What actually happened was you stole a scalpel from a surgeon, don’t know how, and started stabbing one of the All Might sketches in your notebook” relayed Mrs. Todoroki in the most flat and no-bullshit tone she could manage.

“Haha, yeah that sounds like me!”

“Now then…” announced Shin as he stood up addressing everyone at once“...it’s been a long day for everyone. Mrs. Todoroki please go back to your room for today. Ms. Fuyumi, thank you for everything. I will see you again. Izuku, you little shit, we’re going to have a talk.”

As the two women got up and left the room, Izuku was left alone with his psychiatrist. While he knew that Shin was only concerned about his well being he didn’t look forward to being nagged by the doctor again.

Instead of talking, Shin just ripped of a piece of paper from his clipboard and handed it to Izuku without any explanation.

“Any what is this?” asked Izuku, eyeing the piece of paper suspiciously.

“ A prescription for Ramelteon” says Shin “It’s most commonly used as antidepressant, but it also works as a sleeping drug. It’s also one of very few that does not lead to a dependence. Take this to the dispensary now, they will sort everything out and you will be getting your dose from tomorrow evening onwards.”

“I know I was very reluctant to give you anything besides antidepressants…” he continues “...but I’d rather do this than have you going batshit crazy with whatever alternatives you’re willing to try. Please be careful in the future Izuku, I mean it” he finishes with a warning tone.

“Can’t promise anything” said Izuku, his voice full of mischief.

“In that case I can’t promise that I won’t smack you on the head next time you pull of shit like this” replied the doctor, as he walked out of his patient’s room, hiding his smile behind the clipboard.

#bnha #boku no hero academia #demise!au #fanfic #demise of midoriya izuku #chapter 8 #midoriya izuku #iyashi shin #mrs. todoroki #todoroki fuyumi

71 notes · View notes

yeollie-bells · 7 years

Text

Title: The Changing of Seasons Chapter: 1/1 Words: 3312 Relationship: Noctis Lucis Caelum/Nyx Ulric Fandom: Final Fantasy XV Rating: Gen. Summary: Nyx ferries Noct way from his world for a little while. (This is for the death by fluff week the wonderful @nyxnoctocalypse made! Im!!!!!! honestly terrified to post this!! its my first work for the fandom, at least publicly, and i totally feel like im not good enough AND encroaching on others territory!! BUT i promised myself id do this, i havent had time to do like, the WHOLE thing, like a prompt a day, so I just chose my favorite topic from each day and combined them all into this pitiful mess! Hopefully someone likes it! the prompts i chose are) Seasonal: Weather Animal: Pets Clothing: Wearing the other’s clothing Hobbies: Shared interests Events: Festival days/nights Dates: Surprise dates Written Word: Handwriting Favourites: Way to spend time Time: The years ahead Light / Dark: Candlelight Read on AO3 here! (please just read it here im not formatting for tumblr this is just so much better)

Noct loved the changing of seasons. He loved the way the heat ebbed and the cold crept in. He loved the frost on the window above his head. He loved feeling a warm body beside his own and strong arms wrapped around him. One would think that with the congested space of Insomnia it wouldn't get cold that there would be no weather that things wouldn't change, that it would always be rather warm and steamy-- sticky with the humidity and smoke. But the cold could always find a way. It crept in in the early mornings at the beginning of the shifting of seasons, it suffocated the heat clinging desperately to the streets. Fog replaced steam and smoke bringing a wet chill with it.

Noctis used to hate the cold. Used to hate the dark. Still hates the loneliness that accompanies both. Even with his friends there was always something villainous about the cold and the dark. Prompto’s light couldn't break through it nor could Gladio’s heat. Not the warm and colorful foods Ignis would present them with.

But Nyx.

Nyx.

He was a different animal altogether. There was something about him that cut through the biting loneliness the changing of seasons brought. His warmth and his light. It was almost funny, considering he was named after the darkness.

Noctis mused silently in the early morning light, soaking in the warmth of Nyx’s body behind him and the small body at their feet-- a small white fluffball they found months ago shivering in a cardboard box. She was a pathetic little sight, but she fits into their family quite well. She’ll let Prompto dress her up and take her picture with absolutely no complaint, she’ll “help” Nyx and Gladio with their respective trainings, she’ll even help Ignis with his cooking (Read: she’ll wait and beg for scraps- Ignis is weak for her bright green eyes) and best yet, she’ll lay in Noct’s lap whenever he needs company- when Nyx is beyond the wall and the others are home. When the loneliness sets in with the dark and cold her bells and bright fur bring Noctis a sense of love and safety he wouldn't have otherwise.

Carefully, Noct picks his way from the warm bodies on the bed, shivering when his bare feet touch the cold floor. Standing, he looks back as Ophelia crawls her way up the bed snuggling closer to Nyx, happily taking over the warm spot Noctis left behind. The prince smiles and shakes his head as he pads quietly through the room, grabbing the nearest warmest article of clothing he can find-- it just so happens to be one of Nyx’s sweaters. He gets dressed quickly, sparing one final glance Nyx’s way before leaving the warmth of the small apartment to face the chill of the day. To a meeting he couldn’t care less about, he already looking forward to the end of the day when he gets to see Nyx again.

~-~-~_~_~_~_~-~-~-~_~_~_~_~-~-~-~_~_~_~_~-~-~-~_~_~_~_~-~-~-

Nyx wakes up not long after Noctis leaves to a face full of fluffy white fur. He sputtered and sat up, spitting out fur and wiping his mouth. He stared down at the cat a moment who was happily stretched out on the bed taking up way more space than anyone would think a small cat could then realized Noct was nowhere to be seen.

“Noct..?”

He looked around the room, not seeing a single sign of his little love, and with a small sigh he pulled himself up to get ready for the day. It was for the best that Noct had left before he had woken, Nyx was a weak man that loved sleep and loved Noct, but it didn’t diminish the sadness of not being able to see his little Prince sleep soft and content. He knew his little love had Princely Duties to attend, but Nyx was a selfish man as well as weak- he wanted Noct all to himself.

Especially in the morning.

He’d get his lazy morning tomorrow though if he had any say in the matter. With Noct’s absence Nyx realized he had things to do, places to go and things to plan, and a quick glance to the clock showed he’d spent enough time distracted.

In the mad rush to get out after seeing just how late it truly was he almost missed the little note on his table-- held down by a strategically placed, teeny tiny pumpkin. Nyx laughed as he lifted the small pumpkin and tossed it in the air a couple times before shaking his head and replacing the pumpkin in his hand with the small note. He recognized Noct’s handwriting immediately but had no time to read it. He carefully pocketed the letter, making sure the house was in order and Ophelia would be fine until he got home before locking up and making his way out- he had surprises to plan.

~-~-~_~_~_~_~-~-~-~_~_~_~_~-~-~-~_~_~_~_~-~-~-~_~_~_~_~-~-~-

His plans were perfect.

His plans were always perfect.

Don’t listen to Crowe or Libertus.

Nyx’s plans were the best plans. He’s had this specific date planned for weeks. He knew Noct likeed autumn, he knew Noct likeed the festivities that took place around this time of year. He also knew Noctis had only seen them in passing, or through a screen. He’d almost gotten out to play-- once, a couple years ago with Prompto- but alas his little Prince’s stealthy skills were not yet developed enough to pass by undetected. But now, now he had Nyx.

And Nyx was great at plans.

His first stop was a nearby store. His favorite clothing store to be exact. He would never live it down if any of his friends knew what he was doing, but he didn’t care. It was for Noct, the damn clothes stealing hopeless romantic that he was. Nyx knew he liked his clothes, his sweaters and flannels and jackets in particular. Nyx liked seeing his slight frame in his larger clothes anyways. Noct just spent so much time at his apartment, he figured the little thief could do with a couple things of his own. Though Nyx doubted it would halt his thieving ways he bought a couple big warm fluffy sweaters. Sweaters that incidentally matched several of the ones Nyx already owned. Sweaters that he knew would compliment Noct’s complexion. Nyx was a simple man with simple likes. And he liked Noct.

While he was waiting to be rung up he remembered the note Noct had left him and pulled it from his pocket.Note in hand, he read it while the line progressed, his intended purchases under his arm.

Nyx,

I’m sorry I had to leave before you woke-- you know how meetings are. I wish I could have stayed, you know I do, but I’ll see you again soon enough! (Unless I die of boredom). You know, you were drooling in your sleep when I left. Were you able to make it out of bed without being glued to your pillow? I bet you’ve got Ophelia’s fur stuck to your cheek huh? She really likes to get in your face, and you, you sure as hell like to cling. I’m running late now but i’ll see you at home!

-Noctis

Nyx laughed as he read, subconsciously rubbing his other hand against his cheek to rid it of phantom fur and drool.

“Brat.”

He made his purchases and took them back to the apartment, setting the finely packaged bags on the table beside the little pumpkin. Ophelia trotted up to him and rubbed against his legs silently requesting his attention and marking him as hers so the entire world would see her white fur on his black pants. He let out a long suffering sigh and picked the little girl up before taking her to the kitchen. Absent mindedly rubbing his scruffy jaw against her head. Her purring so violent she could practically launch herself into space. He set her on the counter and got her some breakfast. Nyx watched the cat eat while he thought about the rest of the day ahead.

Ignis had already messaged him, letting him know that the days meetings were running a bit longer than anticipated, and gave an updated ETA for his Prince. It wasn’t too much longer than Nyx had planned for already, about an hour or so out. He finished watching the cat eat, cleaned her dish, pet her a few (dozen) times then made his leave once again- setting out towards the Citadel to pick up Noctis. To save his damsel from the belly of the beast that is Royal Politics.

~-~-~_~_~_~_~-~-~-~_~_~_~_~-~-~-~_~_~_~_~-~-~-~_~_~_~_~-~-~-

Noctis really hated these meetings, he had no idea why they were even a thing to begin with. It was just old men talking circles around each other for hours on end, getting nothing done and then setting time aside at a later date to do the same damn thing all over again. He wanted to rip his ears off, he really did. He just wanted this to be over with, he wanted to leave this hell hole behind and make his way back to his cat, back to Nyx-- back to his home. Another fifteen minutes, that’s all he had to deal with- just another fifteen minutes.

It was another thirty minutes on top of that before he got his reprieve.

“We will meet again in two days time to discuss this in more detail, that is all for today.”

Noct didn’t need to be told twice, he patiently made his Princely niceties and then politely bolted out the door-- only to be stopped by Ignis not ten feet from freedom.

Noct held back a very un-Prince like whine and listened to what Ignis had to say, though he retained next to nothing from the exchange.

“--And make sure to be careful.” Ignis had finished his report, or rant...or lecture (He wasn’t entirely sure) and Noct nodded sagely along.He doubted he fooled Ignis for one second,judging by the look in his eye, but he stepped backwards. Step by careful step. Maintaining eye contact with Ignis throughout his retreat. When finally released he turned and dove through the doors as fast as he could, glad to finally have escaped!

During his valiant escape he didn’t realize there was someone waiting outside the doors, and in his haste he ran right into the person.

The very Solid Person.

The very Solid, Familiar Person.

Noctis looked up at the owner of the hands that had steadied him to meet a steely blue gaze filled with a familiar loving warmth. The steely blue gaze he had missed seeing this morning.

A smile overtook his face as he registered Nyx while a sly grin spread on the older man’s as he took Noct in.

“Glad you didn’t die of boredom in there, I was beginning to think I wouldn’t see you again.”

Noct rolled his eyes and sighed, “It was a close one Hero, a minute longer and I would have been toast. Nothing left of me.”

Nyx laughed at Noct’s put upon tone as he wrapped an arm around his little loves slim waist and began leading him off and away from the Citadel.

Noct laughed with him and followed his lead easily, “What’re you doing here anyways? How’d you know i’d be released? I was gonna come right back to you, you didn’t have to come get me.”

“It’s a secret baby doll. I’ve got plans, you see? They’re real intricate, and step one involves kidnapping the Crown Prince.” Nyx grinned conspiratorially, ending the sentence with a wink at Noct’s surprised, yet slightly affronted expression. He shushed whatever retort his little raven was about to make and ushered him onto his motorcycle. “Keep all comments to yourself, I’m not telling you where we’re going, no hints no tips no persuasion. Just be patient, be quiet and trust me. You’ll be glad you did.”

~-~-~_~_~_~_~-~-~-~_~_~_~_~-~-~-~_~_~_~_~-~-~-~_~_~_~_~-~-~-

Noct did as he was told, unhappy as he may be. He stayed quiet, didn’t ask where they were going, how much longer they’d be, or anything of the sort pertaining to the topic. It was eating at him but he remained silent and pouted the entire way through, his cheek against Nyx’s leather clad back. Every once in awhile one of Nyx’s hands would come down to Noct’s and give it a little squeeze-- silently letting him know he was doing well. It took much longer than Noct was expecting, and even still he had no idea where they were going. All he knew was that Nyx kept driving, and they were moving further out of the congestion of the city and closer towards the rural areas, if you could call them that. Noct may have no idea where they’re going, but he was enjoying the changes he was seeing and feeling.

The air was sweeter, fresher and the colors were so vibrant. All the trees in different shades; browns and reds, oranges and yellows, even the ever persistent green remained. The smells were more nature, less machine-- though to be fair cows weren’t the most aromatic animal in the world. It was somehow quieter or at least more peaceful, less sounds of angry people, machinery and the city and more of the county life but there was something else to it too. But that something Noct couldn’t place until they had arrived to their destination.

The sun was just beginning to set when Nyx had begun to slow down. The amount of transport had significantly increased and Noct, curiosity piqued began looking around. Nyx carefully maneuvered through cars and bikes and past people, finding a small space perfectly fit for his motorcycle. He parked and removed their helmets, helping Noct off after him- steadying his stiff gait.

Noctis didn’t halt his wondered stares as Nyx fixed his hair and soon enough met Nyx’s bright eyes, “This….Nyx what is this?”

Nyx smiled gently at the pure wonder in his little Prince’s eyes and ran a thumb along his cheekbone, “It’s an autumn festival. I’ve figured you’d been cooped up most every time this time of year rolled around, could hardly persuade your dashing Knights to ferry you away here, and I know how much you love autumn and festivals so I thought I could spirit you away for a night to the festival you’ve been dreaming of. Don’t be too disappointed though, it’s more about the harvest and less about the partying.”

Noctis couldn’t believe it. This is what he had been dreaming about for years. Leave it to Nyx to snuff out one of the things he had desperately wanted to do. “Nyx, I could care less what the focus of the place was, just the fact you brought me here. You. That’s….That’s everything.”

Nyx smiled, soft and gentle as he hooked his arm with Noct’s, “Well then, what d'ya say we partake in the festivities?”

Noctis’s blinding grin was answer enough and Nyx led the way through the other festival goers. Keeping his little Prince close to him as they went.

~-~-~_~_~_~_~-~-~-~_~_~_~_~-~-~-~_~_~_~_~-~-~-~_~_~_~_~-~-~-

Hours had passed and the sun was well below the horizon. The cool day had brought about an icy chill to the night, and without the hustle, bustle and building of the city- it got cold.

Very cold.

Very cold very fast.

Nyx was used to the cold, was well prepared for it but Noct on the other hand wasn’t. Turns out his fancy clothes were more fashionable than practical. Noct was good at hiding discomfort, but Nyx could read him like an open book.

He took one of Noctis’ cold little hands in his own and brought him closer, “Cold?”

Noctis shook his head, but the chatter of his teeth was revealing a different truth. Nyx just shook his head fondly exacerbated and stepped back far enough to peel off his extra layer; a nice plaid flannel in greys and blues.

“What happened to that sweater you stole this morning?” He teased and Noct grew pink cheeked.

“I….may or may not have forgotten it in the meeting.” Noct looked away and Nyx laughed.

Classic Noctis.

“Well, good thing one of us is prepared.

“My Hero.”

~-~-~_~_~_~_~-~-~-~_~_~_~_~-~-~-~_~_~_~_~-~-~-~_~_~_~_~-~-~-

The two walked through the festival grounds hand in hand, enjoying the chill and the warmth the other brought. They saw exotic creatures with colorful plumage and drank warm apple cider and hot chocolate. It seemed to be some sort of apple festival with all the food and drink being sold tended to be made from them.Noctis never knew just how many different types of apple there actually were. There were a couple of games and shop stalls littered throughout as well. Nyx having stopped them to buy a little crown made of small delicate flowers and placed it upon his Prince’s head.

Noctis tried to be annoyed at his boyfriend’s foolishness but found it hard to even act peeved with the childish glee written clear all over his face. He found a similar crown, one that used more leaves and green and moss than flowers and placed it atop Nyx’s head. Nyx’s answering grin was more than enough to make up for the looks from passersby and the silliness of the situation.

The night got colder and darker, and before long the crowds thinned, the stalls closed and people were packing it away to go home. Noctis didn’t particularly want to leave, but followed Nyx back to their ride and got on. The two left as everyone else did, silently promising another visit sometime soon.

It was a silent ride home, Noctis holding tight to Nyx’s waist, pressed as close as he could get. The noise of the city barely reaching through to their little haven, even when they finally got home. Still in the bubble of their own little world.

They made their way back inside the apartment and showered together. No words were spoken and the warm water thawed the chill from their bones. Soft kisses and softer caresses were shared between them and Nyx carefully bundled his little raven love in a nice new warm sweater, dark blue to match his endless eyes. Noctis smiled as Nyx led him to the bed and had him sit, then made a point of going around and lighting candles. He had planned this, and like he said, he was the best at making plans. He crawled into bed after Noct after having lit several candles and held his Prince close.

“So how was it, Little Prince? Did you enjoy yourself?” His first words between them were spoken softly.

“You know I did, “ He responded, just as softly with a kiss to the tip of Nyx’s nose, “how could I not when I got to spend the day with you? You know it’s my favorite way to spend the time…”

“I thought this was your favorite way to spend the time?”

Noctis laughed softly at the ridiculous expression on his Hero’s face then pulled him into another kiss. “It’s one of my favorite ways.”

Nyx huffed a chuckle and kissed up Noct’s cheek, to the corner of his eye, then pressed a kiss against each eyelid.

“Nyx?”

“Yeah, little love?”

“Think we could go back? Soon?”

“Of course, Noct. Anything for you.”

#deathbyfluffweek #nyxnoctocalypse #nyxnoct #ffxv #noctis #nyx #Final Fantasy #final fantasy xv #final fantasy 15 #nyx ulric #my writing #its shit but its mine #sorry yall i just feel i should be apologizing lol

15 notes · View notes

stylo-xx · 7 years

Text

Eyes Closed (M)

G-Dragon: Angst/Small amount of fluff/Eventual smut

PART 2-A: The One About The Night Before

A/N: Crap sorry it’s so late you guys, I was trying to edit as fast as I could I swear! But if there are typos my bad lmao Anyway I feel like this one is a bit short but I hope you enjoy nonetheless!

P.S. Part 2-B should be out some time tomorrow.

(Part One)||(Part Two-B)

I woke up with a jolt and a cold sweat, feeling like the entire room was still spinning; physically feeling like I got hit by an eighteen wheeler. I brushed some of the mess of hair from my face and through half lidded eyes I tried to look around the room to make sure I didn't end up in some stranger’s place; thankfully for my dignity I wasn’t but unfortunately for my ego, I wasn’t.

“Ugh what time is it?” I groaned reaching for my phone on the nightstand. Fumbling around the nightstand the only thing my hand was met with was the touch activated lamp that blinded me with a bombardment of light. “Argh no!” I threw my arm across my face. I frantically hurried to shut off the lamp that felt like it was emitting the rays from the sun. Only managing to open one eye I looked around for my phone and discovered it was strewn on the floor with a mess of clothes and shoes. I groaned again not wanting to leave the comfort of the bed, I outstretched my hand nearly falling off the bed and quickly nabbed my phone and hauling myself back into my previous position under the covers. Pressing the home button to my phone I again was greeted with a flash bomb of light and covered my face with my hand; slapping myself in the process. Still adjusting to the light I peeked through my fingers desperately looking to find the time. ‘2:00 p.m. fuck’ With my phone unlocked I went wide eyed, ‘Shit, shit, shiiiit’ I thought; I had 17 missed calls and 10 voicemails from Saige. Looking for some kind of answer I scrolled through her text messages that only seemed to get more and more aggressive the further I scrolled along.

‘Alex where the hell did you go?’ <received 1:44 am>

‘Itsf o k im with djsaho’ <sent 1:52 am>

‘Ok bitch you are waaaaaaay too fucked up, where are you?’ <received 1:52 am>

‘Urd th e bitc yo bcht’ <sent 1:55 am>

‘I’m being serious Alex, if the paparazzi or some douche bag from the internet get a picture of you like this we are royally screwed’ <received 1:55 am>

‘Dnt wrry Gbe okie’ <sent 1:56 am>

‘Dont do this to me McMahon, WHERE ARE YOU????’ <received 1:56 am>

‘Byiii cee yu ntx wek’ <sent 1:57 am>

‘Wtf do you mean see you next week???’ <received 1:57 am>

‘Alex?’ <received 1:59 am>

‘HELLO?!’ <received 2:01 am>

‘ANSWER YOUR PHONE I KNOW YOU KEEP DECLINING THE CALL’ <received 2:05 am>

‘I swear to God when I see you I am going to kick your ass’ <received 2:06 am>

‘AND WHO TF IS DJ SAHO?! YOU SAID YOU WERE DONE WITH DATING DJS’ <received 2:06 am>

‘Oh my God Alexandra PLEASE JUST ANSWER YOUR PHONE IF YOU DON'T WANT TO TELL ME WHERE YOU ARE’ <received 2:10 am>

‘Ok somebody told me you went home with someone, for your sake I hope it was Jesus and not that DJ Saho or whatever’ <received 2:15 am>

‘Open the door! You know I can hear you and DJ what's his face laughing!’ <received 2:30 am>

‘I don't care that we are staying at the Palace Hotel Alexandra. I WILL break down this door if you don’t open up!’ <received 2:32 am>

‘OPEN THE DOOR’ <received 2:33 am>

‘No oo itd coolr ift yo u berki t don’ <sent 2:33 am>

‘I SWEAR TO GOD’ <received 2:34 am>

‘Fine see if I care when you end up on the cover of some Korean tabloid and Ji-Yong finds out you're here’ <received 2:36>

‘wh att’ <sent 2:36>

‘Good night Alex :)))’ <received 2:37>

Re-reading the last exchanges between us my heart felt like it started beating so fast that it was bound to burst right out of my chest any second. ‘Fuck. Fuck, fuck, fuuuuuuuuuuck. How could I have been so stupid?!’ I thought to myself. Normally I’d say I don't care but that is far from where I am mentally. Suddenly I was brought out of my thoughts by a loud knocking on my door. Still paranoid with the thought of J-him seeing me I climbed out of bed and approached the door carefully. The closer I got to the door the more anxious I became; that mixed with the killer hangover that hit me like a ton of bricks was quite possibly the worst combination of things that could happen at a time like this. The knocking started to feel like the noise was pounding against my skull, wanting to rid myself of this monstrous beating on my brain I opened the door without hesitation. Only to be met with the last person I would ever think would show up at my door.

“Alex?” he raised an eyebrow.

“Tim?” I reciprocated.

“Jesus H--no offence but Saige wasn’t kidding when she said you might look like you crawled out of Hell this morning”

I clenched my jaw “Just come in before anyone else has to endure my ugly” I slammed the door shut behind him causing myself to wince at what sounded like an explosion went off in my brain.

Trailing behind him I watched him maneuver his way over the mess that was all over the floor; just clothes and shoes in different piles scattered in every square inch of the room.

“Jeez, you didn’t want to clean up first?” he said finally making it to the bed.

Too exhausted to argue I rolled my eyes and plopped back on the bed beside him.

“Man, guess you had a good night last night?” he smiled leaning back on his elbows.

“Ugh, if this is what this hangover from Hell is indicating...I wish I hadn’t” I covered my eyes with my arm “When did you get in by the way? I thought you were going to be in Japan until tomorrow? And not that I don’t love you but why are you here in the first place?”

He chuckled “To answer your questions: I got in about three hours ago, I had a change of plans aaand Saige sent me on a recon mission”

“Why?”

“She said and I quote ‘Dear God Tim would deal with her because I can’t take her after last night’ end quote” He chuckled again “Also seeing as two of my best friends just got here the night before and one of them was already causing trouble I decided that spending time with that girl in Japan was not really worth it…”

I uncovered my eyes with a gasp “Oh my God, you are such a jerk--”

“Relax” he put up his hand “whatever we had between us wasn’t really going anywhere anyway. I think she really just wanted to be with me so she could say she was with me. Seeing as who I hang out with nowadays, it's getting harder and harder to figure out who wants to hang out with me for me and not for ‘Tim Drake, the DJ who so happens to be signed to Seungri’s music label so that must mean he is friends with BigBang’. I mean they’re not wrong, I am friends with them but still it the principle of the thing” he rolled his eyes.

Merely looking at his face I could tell he was genuinely hurt, he was one of the nicest and most sincere people I have ever met and just knowing that my selfish wish somewhat came true made my heart hurt.

“I mean I guess that’s what you get for being such a hot shot DJ with an attractive everything to match” I said trying to make light of the situation.

“Shut up” he laughed “By the way, are you just gonna chill in your underwear the entire time or are you gonna put on a robe?”

I looked down at my bra “Tim it’s not like it's the first time you've seen me in my underwear. I think we are past that point in our friendship”

“I mean I don’t have a problem, I just don’t want you to think I’m being a perv” he said sincerely.

“I would never” I jokingly gasped and placed a hand on his shoulder “Anyway, tell me about your new life here: How do you like it? How’s it been? Besides that girl, how is your love life here? You know all that good stuff” I rolled over on my side to face him.

“Its been..good?”

“That doesn’t sound too convincing Timmoth” I squinted my eyes at him.

He let out a small laugh “No I’m serious! Everything's been great so far, minus the whole ‘love life’ thing” he air quoted.

“So does that mean you and Chaerin still haven’t talked?” I rested my head on my arm.

“Yes, that means I still haven’t talked to Chaerin. Honestly I don’t think that’ll ever happen. I mean I invited her to my party so the only thing I can do now is wait and see if she decides to show up. But I’m not going to be completely heartbroken if she doesn't, at this point I’m used to getting the short end of the stick with her” he sighed.

“She’ll show I’m sure of it, if there is one thing that sticks with you after breaking up with your boyfriend no matter how long ago it was you always remember those tiny details about them. She, I’m sure, is no different”

“Don’t even get my hopes up” he playfully pushed my shoulder “Alright enough about my lackluster love life, what about you huh? I’ve only heard about your rendezvous through what people tag me in on twitter”

I rolled on to my back again staring up at the ceiling “Ugh. I’ll just say it’s slim pickins in LA. I seriously feel like I’ve about dated everyone in Hollywood at this point. I’m just so bored with everyone there, Saige suggested we move to Manhattan for a while to get a change of scenery and...men”

He let out another small laugh “Orrr”

“Or what?” I turned my head to face him.

“Or you could come move here and not only would have a complete change of scenery but you’d get to be with me and also an entire new buffet of men to choose from” he wiggled his eyebrows “Ya know” he cleared his throat “I happen to know one or two, single, billionaire musical geniuses that--”

“Ha-ha very funny” I interjected “don’t even go there Tim”

“Oh come on Alex!” he put a hand on my shoulder “You’re gonna see him this weekend anyway, why prolong the inevitable?!”

I brushed his hand off my shoulder.

“Okay, okay I take it you’re still mad at me about me not telling you that he was coming until you were on your flight over here, but what was I supposed to do? If i had told you earlier you would have either A) not come at all or B) run out of the airport and go AWOL again!” he scrunched up his eyebrows.

I took and deep breath and looked away from him.

“And I couldn’t just not invite him when all of the other guys were going to be there, that would have looked super shady on my part. Besides I know you two have your issues, that you still refuse to tell anyone why you guys broke up about in the first place, but he’s also a homie”

I turned back to glare at him “Okay well then why don’t you marry him then if he such a good homie?”

“Very mature” he stuck out his tongue “look you and I both know I love you more than anyone in the entire universe, but you also gotta understand he and I are still cool. He’s also one of the biggest musical influences here and I’d really rather not get on his shit list”

“Are you just doing this because you want me to talk to him?” I raised an eyebrow “What about girl code? If I hate someone you hate them right back, you don’t just hang out with them like it’s nothing and twiddle your thumbs up each other's asses!”

“First off, ouch how dare you say I broke girl code ” he pretended to act hurt “And secondly, I didn’t just do this because I wanted you two to talk...well actually that’s partially it...but that’s not the point! What matters is that we all enjoy ourselves this weekend and celebrate not only my day of birth but also my first album finally dropping; all while making sure it is completely drama free for everyone involved” he smiled.

I crossed my arms and let out a big sigh.

“Besides, I think after last night you don’t need anymore drama to be broadcasted out for the world to see”

I sat up quickly “W-what do you mean?”

“Oh, you haven’t seen?” he sat up with a concerned look on his face “Well ummm...here let me show you”

‘Oh God, Saige was right why didn’t my drunk ass just listen to her?!’ I thought to myself. ‘Oh man she really is gonna kick my ass when she sees me…’

Tim, taking out his phone pulled up some news article that held embarrassing pictures of my drunk self with some guy. Thankfully most all of them were grainy and the pictures were kind of dark, all except for one.

“What.the.f--” I let out a blood curdling scream.

“Hyung, don’t get me wrong I just don’t think this is a good idea” Seungri tried for the thousandth time to pull Young-Bae back by his arm. “I already told you, we at least have to make sure he’s alive” Young-Bae said undeterred by the maknae’s actions “What are you so afraid of?” “And I already told you, if Ji-Yong Hyung is even possible of being conscious he is going to be pissed that we woke him up just to see if he’s still living and have us maimed!” the younger man pulled on his Hyung’s shoulder.

The older man simply smiled “Not me”

“Oh must be nice being the golden star best friend! In case you haven’t noticed, Ji-Yong Hyung loves to show me gestures of his affection by inflicting nothing but pain on me and therefore gaining some kind of sick pleasure from hurting me!”

The older man stopped in his tracks causing the maknae to slightly bump into him “Seungri we’ve all been friends for longer than ten years, don’t you think if he actually wanted you dead he would have done it by now?” he smiled and continued walking.

Seungri stuck in the spot that he stood thought before he spoke “You know that’s not actually very reassuring!” he called after his Hyung.

Young-Bae now at the end of the hallway shot Seungri another smile but this one evoking an eye smile along with it. The maknae picked up his pace and swifty jogged to the older man’s position. Both now staring down the door to Ji-Yong’s condo they both were thinking about the repercussions of actually waking the dragon. Young-Bae not wanting to take the first blow pushed the younger man in front of him.

“Well go ahead, knock on the door” he gestured with his hand.

Seungri dramatically pointed to himself “Me? You want me to knock on the door?”

The older man nodded.

“Hyung were you not listening to anything I was saying back there?” he stared at Young-bae incredulously “Wow. you all must really want me out of BigBang, well it was nice knowing you”

“Yah” the older man smacked him behind the head “Don’t be so melodramatic and knock on the door would you? And besides we can't afford to lose you. You're too important”

The younger man rubbed the back of his head “Wah. do you mean that Hyung?”

“Yea if we lose you then who else are we going to pick on? Dae-Sung? Not on your life” he said with a smug smile on his face.

The maknae looked to the heavens and closed his eyes, cursing at his Hyungs in his head; the only place he was safe to do so.

“Yah!” another smack to the back of the head “Quit being a dick in your thoughts and knock on the damn door!”

Seungri went wide eyed; guess he wasn’t so safe in his own mind after all. He shakily raised his fist in the air toward the ever menacing black door. What laid beyond that threshold could either be a nice Ji-Yong welcoming them into his home or the actual Ji-Yong who was going to rip Seungri a new one for waking him. The maknae took a deep breath before he gave three small knocks.

“Hyung?” he whispered.

Young-Bae side eyed him “What human being in your right mind is going to be able to hear that?” The older man grabbed a hold of the maknae’s fist and raised it to pound on the door.

“No, Hyung wait!”

With not even a full knock, the door swung wide open. As if it were some cartoon, the two stuck both their heads over the threshold and looked inside.

“Hello?” they said in unison.

The two stood up straight and began to walk over the threshold at the same time only to get halted by squashing into each other. The older man glared at the maknae and shoved his shoulder to get by. Seungri merely rubbed his shoulder and closed the door behind him. Looking around the living room gave no impression of anyone actually living there, everything was perfectly in its place making it look like it was some kind of eerie museum. “Ji-Yong-ah?” Young-Bae called out peeking into every doorway. Seungri having already accepted his fate decided to go rifle around his Hyung’s things in his living room; picking up a sculpture here, touching a nicknack there, leaving fingerprints on his vinyl records...whoops, breaking off a piece of said sculpture. “Yah” Young-Bae called out to him. The maknae quickly put down the abstract sculpture and shoved the broken piece behind some books on the bookshelf. He looked to his Hyung who was whispering ‘he’s in there’ and pointing to the door that was left ajar. Again as if the two were in some Scooby-Doo cartoon, they carefully tiptoed into the sleeping man’s room. There sprawled out all over the bed, with half of the sheets and comforter dangling off the bed, was the sleeping form of their best friend. With his mouth parted and a slight trail of drool coming out of his mouth Ji-Yong let out a loud snore that startled the maknae causing him to step back onto a squeaky cat toy; Young-Bae slapped him on his shoulder. “Yah! Are you trying to to get us killed?!” he whispered loudly. “I thought you said you had nothing to worry about!” Seungri loudly whispered back. “I don’t! I’m just worried about you” the two of them continued their whisper argument only to be startled again. “Yah! If you two are done pretending like I can’t hear you, you can both kindly get the fuck out” Ji-Yong lifted his head up sleepily. “Sorry” the other two said in unison. “What do you even want at this hour?” he said plopping his head back into his sea of pillows and tangled bed sheets. “It’s three in the afternoon” they said again in unison. Ji-Yong dazedly lifted his head again looking toward his window “No it's not there’s no sun” Walking to the window Young-Bae pulled the curtains back “that's because you live like a vampire and have black out curtains “ “Yah!” Ji-Yong struggled to bury himself under his sheets “What are you trying to kill me?!” “Ok enough” the dreaded man walked to his bedside “we dealt with your drunk ass last night, it's all been fun and games but now it’s time to wake the fuck up” he pulled him by the only foot that was sticking out of the covers. Ji-Yong clawing at his bed like a cat protested. “Come on man just get up!” “Do we have a photoshoot?” he asked in a muffled voice with his face firmly planted onto the mattress. “No?” “Music video shoot?” “No?” “An interview?”

“No?”

“A record to write?”

“No, Ji-Yong why--” “Then I have no good reason be even be conscious” he said taking his foot back “ “Seriously man come on, Seungri and I--” “Seungri?” Ji-Yong quickly lifted his head and snapped it in in their direction. “Yea Seungri, who the hell else did you think I was arguing with?” “I don’t know Young-Bae, I’ve stopped questioning the voices” The other two glanced at each other raising an eyebrow. The dazed man rubbed his face with his hand “Ok I’ll bite, why the fuck are you here?” “Because you can’t keep living like this! I hardly get to see you when we’re not on tour or doing some kind of press junket or variety show, even then we pretend like everything is all ok when it’s not. All you do is drink yourself stupid, complain while you're drunk, smoke so much that I swear one of these days you’re going to need an iron lung support or something! It’s like the Kwon Ji-Yong I grew up with doesn’t even exist anymore!” Ji-Yong pursed his lips “Tsk. What are you my girlfriend all of a sudden? Get in line you're not the only one who noticed. Any other complaints or can I just go back to sleep?” The dreaded man let out a heavy sigh “Pfft. yea right we’d all know where that would go real fast…” he said under his breath. “What was that?” he threw off the covers hopping off the bed and walking to square up to his best friend. Seungri, having been silent the entire time, noticed this was going to take a turn for the worse and intervened before any fists went flying. “Ji-Yong Hyung” He turned to glare at him. “Young-bae Hyung” he held up his hands between the two “Why don’t we just go to the kitchen and get some food and some coffee in you guys huh? We can eat a little, talk a little...not using harsh words...and just get rid of the bad energy from last night” The two older men glanced at each other “fine..” they said in unison and headed out toward the kitchen. “Hey Hyung” the maknae trailing behind the two spoke up again “Don’t you wanna maybe change out of your clothes from last night?” Ji-Yong stopped in his tracks to glare at him. “N-nevermind…” Along the way Ji-Yong stopped to boot up his laptop that was sitting on the kitchen island then made a b-line for the coffee maker and his pack of cigarettes. Young-Bae simply leaned against the furthest wall and looked down at his feet, still fuming about his little spat with his best friend. Seungri, even in everyday situations, made his way into the kitchen last. He caught a glimpse of his Hyung’s laptop screen and immediately stopped mid-step. Ji-Yong raised an eyebrow “what did some porn pop up or something?” he asked lighting his cigarette “N-no. just a picture of” he cleared his throat “Kim Tae-Hee popped up” he gave a weak smile.

The older man gave him a questioning look “Ahh ok?” and turned to ash his cigarette in the ashtray before him. His fingers slightly trembling from the actions of the previous night caused him to accidentally drop his cigarette into the sink. “Aish!” he hollered as he threw his now soggy cigarette into the bin and turned away from the other two to light another one. The maknae, wide eyed, looked to his other Hyung as a plea for help. Trying to subtly beg the dreaded man with his eyes that he needed him to distract Ji-Yong while he closes out of the webpage on the laptop’s screen; needless to say his actions were lost in translation. Young-Bae not understanding what the younger man was trying to tell him raised an eyebrow and mouthed ‘what?’, Seungri balled his fists in silent frustration and turned the screen toward his oblivious Hyung and emphatically pointed to the news article that blatantly held pictures of ‘DO NOT CALL HER’ in the arms of a man that wasn’t Ji-Yong and at the same exact club they were at the night before no less! Young-Bae went wide eyed and quickly dashed in the direction of the unsuspecting man before he could turn back around; he put his arm around his shoulder. Ji-Yong feeling suspicious about his two friend’s actions wasn't sure what to think; truthfully he didn’t want to think at all he’d much rather be back in bed ignoring everyone. The maknae glanced as his two Hyungs talked it out and as Young-Bae took it upon himself to have a death grip on Ji-Yong’s shoulder forcing him to look out the window as he poetically described the meaning of their friendship to him. Seungri acting quickly turned the laptop back toward him and carefully closed the article but not before looking at all the pictures and reading the headline. ‘Alexandra McMahon Out Partying in Seoul With Mystery Man: Keep reading for pictures below’. Oh shit he was really going to be in trouble now.

#bigbang scenarios #bigbang fanfiction #bigbang imagines #bigbang angst #gdragon scenarios #gdragon imagines #gdragon angst #gdragon smut #gdragon fanfiction #g dragon imagines #g dragon scenarios #g dragon angst #g dragon smut #g dragon fluff #jiyong scenarios #jiyong smut #jiyong angst #jiyong fluff

293 notes · View notes