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belfrygargoyles · 3 years

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*whispers* I would like to hear what you have to say on reader inserts in the SW fandom because I too have a problem with them and I feel like not enough people are calling it out 👉👈

I’ve made a few posts about it in the past but I think it’s high time I actually Do This and really get into it.

Before I start: 1) This will be in specific reference to fanfiction written for the Star Wars fandom, particularly tcw and the mandalorian eras, 2) A lot of the issues come down to racist fetishization of men of color by white women; I am white, so there is much that is simply not my place to make statements on. What I can speak most on is my take from the gender side of things.

I’d honestly recommend reading this post by @nibeul with addition by @clonehub first, as they discuss the core issue with reader inserts in the Star Wars fandom.

And 3) some of this will involve discussion of sexual acts (as they relate to fanfiction) and sexual fantasies. These discussions will be non-explicit, and no pornographic text or content will be displayed.

Also. I’m GNC and nonbinary. I’m also a very feminine looking person that falls under the generalization of “small and petite.” I don’t have dysphoria, I like my body and the traits I have, and treating them like inherently female sends me into a blind fury. This is, unfortunately, important.

For the sake of making sure I come across as clearly as possible, I will be writing as though the reader of this post has never read or is broadly unfamiliar with reader-insert fanfiction.

Without further ado.

Hey, Star Wars reader insert fic writers? Please get your shit together.

INTRODUCTION

I’ve been reading reader-insert fanfiction since I was a grade schooler waking up early to check Quizilla. I love it! It got me into fandom, kept me engaged, helped me make and develop some of my oldest OCs, and it’s just fun to read and write- it’s like a self-indulgent little gift you can give to a bunch of people all at once. Because who doesn’t like the idea of starring in their own little adventure, usually alongside some of their favorite characters? It can be fun, immersive, get you attached in ways other ways of fandom interaction may not, make you feel just a little bit special, or be a way to express some feelings you might have about canon and the way the story went.

Like any form of fiction, it ends up saying more about the author’s feelings than anything else, whether the author realizes it or not. For many, many authors of reader-insert fanfiction, the primary enjoyment comes from writing “themselves” into the story- before the readers, the author most often makes the “reader character” someone they, themselves, can relate to and substitute for themselves. They write to live out a self-indulgent fantasy they have, and their readers can come along for the ride.

Some writers do actually try to write as diverse or as vague of a reader character as possible- as few details about the body, identity, etc. as possible so anyone could superimpose their image without the narrative directly contradicting it. This is not the kind of reader insert author I will be discussing.

The kind of author I will be discussing is the one most common in the Star Wars tag on Ao3: White, AFAB, cisgender, gender-conforming, able-bodied women who assume all of their readers are also White, AFAB, cisgender, gender-conforming, able-bodied women. Yes, you can tell.

ISSUE: fetishization of men of color

Again, this post puts it in the best words, but there is a rampant problem with Star Wars reader-inserts, particularly those involving the clones, Boba Fett, and Din Djarin, fetishizing characters played by men of color as either “physically aggressive and threatening, hypersexual and dominant, big strong men who are scary because they do violence and fuck constantly when they’re not” or “completely inexperienced baby who doesn’t know anything about things and needs a gentle nurturing guiding touch to introduce him to the mere idea of a vagina.” The former is common across all of them, the latter most common among clone trooper fics or Din/Reader.

I went into the Boba Fett/Reader tag on Ao3, because I like him and hoped to find something alright. Here are some stats I tallied up (give or take some) based solely on tags, summaries, and warnings:

There are 284 works in the Boba Fett/Reader category as of the time of this post.

198/284 are rated E for explicit sexual content. 69.7% of all Boba Fett/Reader works are sexually explicit.

259/284 are in the F/M category. 91.2% of all Boba Fett/Reader works involve an explicitly female or AFAB reader.

24/284 are tagged with or mention “Age difference,” “Older man/Younger woman,” “Innocence kink” or “Virginity kink.” 8.4% of all Boba Fett/Reader works are written explicitly with an age gap, with Boba Fett as the older party

26/198 E rated fics are tagged with or make reference to “Daddy kink” or involve the reader being called some variation of “little girl” by Boba. 13% of all E-rated works under Boba Fett/Reader are daddy kink fics, or allude to Boba Fett being a daddy dom/sugar daddy.

102/198 E rated fics are tagged as, make reference to, or suggest in the summary that Boba Fett takes a dominant sexual role with a submissive reader involving rough or painful play, or make reference to Boba Fett being frightening, physically intimidating, having a power dynamic over the reader, or being possessive or violent. 51.51% of all E-rated works under Boba Fett/Reader portray Boba Fett as sexually dominant and/or enacting use of physical force or pain play.

Just using this as an example, because it’s the easiest stats I can gather and also what made me realize there was a pattern.

The problem isn’t even necessarily that people write explicit fic about Boba- it’s that 1) over half of all fics in the category are explicitly pornographic, and 2) the way those pornographic fics are written. The two things compound on each other. They’re dominance fantasies projected onto a character of color in which he becomes extremely sexual, physically rough with the reader, possessive, and demeaning towards a reader character who is always written as White, AFAB, and petite.

This brings me to the next issue.

ISSUE: The way sexual relationships are portrayed.

Let me clarify so there is no chance of me being misunderstood: sex is good. Liking and wanting and enjoying sex isn’t bad. It is not bad if you are AFAB and have submissive fantasies. It is not bad to be sexually attracted to a man of color. You can write about sex even if you haven’t had it. Writing about sex can be a good way to express some more complicated feelings you could have about certain things. It doesn’t even have to be realistic. It has its time and it has its place.

This being said.

Sexual relationships as they are portrayed in the vast majority of E-rated Star Wars reader inserts are… not great.

The reader is always AFAB. I can think of maybe one fic off the top of my head where an AFAB reader was written with they/them pronouns and not just she/her.

The reader is almost always submissive, the dominant character is almost always portrayed as cis male. Even when the characters are supposed to just be having spontaneous casual sex, D/S or BDSM aspects will be introduced with no prior discussion or talks about it afterwards. Sometimes characters will start using dirty talk and it just does not fit at all, but it’s what the author thought was hot.

Sometimes, it just reads like a quick smutty oneshot. More often than that, it reads like the author doesn’t realize that sex… isn’t always a dom/sub thing. Or that someone can take the lead in sex and that doesn’t automatically make them a dom.

It’s not bad to be inexperienced. It’s not bad to have preferences or kinks or specific turn-ons.

But it gets… tiring to read, over and over and over and over, because that’s all there is.

That and… I dunno, it just has me a little worried? It doesn’t make me feel good knowing so many people can only portray a sexual relationship if it’s dom/sub. I don’t know why it makes me so uneasy.

Vanilla sex isn’t a bad thing I promise. It's this feeling of insistence that something "spicy" absolutely has to happen for it to be worth writing that gives... some weird vibes.

I’m going to move on to the next Big-

ISSUE: Every “reader” character is exactly the same

By which I mean the following:

Always cis AFAB female

If a character is written with gender neutral pronouns they will always be AFAB and written like Girl Lite

I have never seen an explicitly stated nonbinary/gnc reader character unless it was a request specifically for a nonbinary reader

I have never seen a gender neutral reader insert fic where the reader was AMAB

I have seen a grand total of 1 cis male reader fic and 1 trans male reader fic. The trans male reader fic was about dysphoria.

The reader is allowed to have one of the following backstories: slave/runaway, mechanic, medic, ex-Rebel, secret Jedi, bounty hunter.

The reader is allowed to have one of the following personality traits: throws knives, babysitter, completely civilian, WOMAN, says curse words.

The reader is never written with any narrative agency- things only ever happen to the reader character or around the reader character, they are never written to take charge and actually affect things on their own. Essentially the sexy lamp trope.

Remember when I said the majority of people writing Star Wars reader-insert fanfic on Ao3 were White, cisgender AFAB women who are gender-conforming and able-bodied? This is how you can tell.

It’s at this point where you can tell they’re really not meant to be reader-inserts, but author-inserts with the names removed- they were only meant for a very narrow selection of readers.

I’m nonbinary, I’m gnc, and I’m a very feminine looking person, generally speaking. I’m used to people looking at me and assuming oh, girl. I’m at peace with that.

I can barely stand reading some of these fics just because of how much the author emphasizes that the reader is FEMALE shes a WOMAN with BOOBS and a VAGINA and FEMININE WILES. There’s barely ever even a chance to give myself room to mentally vault over all the “she”s and “her”s because then I’m getting hit with Din or someone calling the reader “girl” or “the woman.” It’s unbearable, and I even fall into the general description every fucking fic author uses for their generic protagonist!

Even with the “gender-neutral reader” fics, it is just. Painfully clear that they just wrote a female character and changed the pronouns- no, there is no such thing as “male behavior” or “female behavior,” and I quite heartily rebel against the concept of gender essentialism. And honestly, I can barely even begin piecing together how I know it and what it feels like, because it’s just one of those vague conglomerates of cues and writing patterns I can’t consciously pick up on but I know it’s there- it’s frustrating, it’s demeaning, and it feels like you’d have to threaten these authors at gunpoint to get them to write a reader character who was any major deviation from the same three cutouts they use every time.

It seems like they can’t possibly force themselves to write a reader character who isn’t meek and submissive or has the sole personality traits of “mean and can hit things”- you can actually strike a balance between “absolutely no personality” and “fleshed out oc” you know? And you don’t actually have to tell the reader what their hair looks like or how full their figure is

It’s like 2:20 AM and I started this at like 8something PM but.

I’m someone who loves reader-inserts. I enjoy them. I still check for new ones regularly. I’ve been reading them for well over half my life now.

So many of these authors are just locked in on exactly one way to write things and it fucking shows. It’s like a self-feeding loop, they just keep writing the same things and the same dynamics because they see each other doing it and they never think about taking a step back.

It’s… exhausting. I’m exhausted. If you’re a reader-insert fic writer and you want to improve your reader character inclusivity and have also read this far, you can DM me or shoot me an ask.

#star wars #x reader #star wars x reader #star wars reader insert #maintagging because for once i actually want ppl to see this #i hope my points are made clearly enough #if something needs clarification you can shoot me a DM or an ask

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sunel0 · 2 years

Text

Something Dark Is Waiting in the Woods: Chapter 1

Masterpost • Next>

You can read it on AO3

Rating: Explicit

Archive Warning: No Archive Warnings Apply

Category: M/M

Fandom: Teen Wolf (TV)

Relationship: Theo Raeken/Stiles Stilinski

Characters: Stiles Stilinski, Theo Raeken, Scott McCall (Teen Wolf), Liam Dunbar, Mason Hewitt, Lydia Martin, Jackson Whittemore, Kira Yukimura, Nogitsune (Teen Wolf), Dread Doctors (Teen Wolf)

Additional Tags: Alternate Universe, Magical Stiles Stilinski, Magical everyone but Theo, Possession, Background Relationships, Murder, Minor Character Death, they kill the DD okay it's fine, Familiars, Human Familiars, Under-negotiated Kink, or more like not negotiated but they are both into it, Hand Jobs, Light Dom/sub, Orgasm Denial, Familiar Bond, Aged-Up Character(s), They are in university

Words: Chapter: 4000/Total: 4000

Chapters: 1/11

Huge thanks to @amatchinwater for beta-reading!

***

Stiles sighed and slammed the book shut, immediately crossing his arms over it, and dropping his head on top of them, the picture of defeat. He let out a long sigh, and it was only a sigh just because he didn't want to be told off for screaming in a library.

Another useless day not getting him any closer to figuring out how to get rid of the fucking demon that possessed him was an extremely frustrating thing to experience even for Stiles, who was used to feeling frustrated.

Mostly with people.

Said demon chuckled somewhere in the back of his head, which didn't do anything better.

It was giving him nightmares that were slowly growing more and more intense and freaky and honestly fucked up, even by Stiles' low standards, and he was pretty sure that meant it was slowly unfurling its wings and getting stronger, which didn't bode well for him.

But apparently, Stiles' annoyance was hilarious, because he heard another vaguely demonic chuckle in his head.

He slammed it against the book a couple of times, keeping it quiet, before sitting up in one dramatic motion that almost threw him flying off the chair backwards, but he managed to catch himself just in time.

And that made Lydia chuckle.

Was this a new trend? Was everyone communicating with chuckles now just to frustrate Stiles even more? As if he didn't have enough shit to figure out on his hands already.

He rubbed his forehead. He didn't have time for anxiety-induced, absolutely unrealistic conspiracy theories right now, he had real issues to deal with. The whole thing was getting out of hand. It had been almost three weeks. He had to have found something already.

But it seemed like there was literally nothing about exorcizing a demon in any of the books they could possibly get from the library. And they got pretty much anything even remotely relevant, he checked twice and almost fought one of the librarians over this.

Maybe he should look for a better library? But the closest magical library that would grant him access from here was in something like four hours, and Stiles didn't really have time for that with the northward equinox eleven-day break coming up. Stiles had no idea how they counted how many days to give them each year, because it seemed bizarre to have eleven days for a single day, but it is what it is. It was just an old tradition after all.

"Here's a thought. Maybe next time don't talk back to a sentient tree you accidentally stumbled upon in a forest you were forbidden from entering in the first place?" Lydia fixed a perfect curl on her head looking into her little compact mirror.

Stiles wondered if she even saw the whole curl in the tiny piece of glass while glaring at her, trying to render everything he felt in one good look.

"I asked you to come with me to help me research, not judge!"

"And I said that I was going to hang out with you because I didn't want to go to my boyfriend's game."

Stiles sighed. He missed doing team sports, but since the start of the semester he had to drop even his beloved boomwhacker club, which he adored, and only gave it up because of too much schoolwork.

His college sports career wasn't looking good either. Nothing about his school life looked good at the moment, if he was being honest.

"And I didn't stumble upon it, I knew where I was going," he mumbled, annoyed, scratching at the cover of a book l.

He still did appreciate Lydia driving all this way over to hang out with him, even if just not to go to Jackson's game when Jackson had been being an asshole.

Because everyone knew that Lydia was always the best cheerleader for her man. If he deserved it.

He sat up, almost throwing his chair backward, and said louder, so Lydia could hear:

"I would appreciate a bit of support in these daring times! Who wouldn't go into a forest knowing that there's a sentient tree in there?! Especially when it's explicitly forbidden without any good reasons given! I'm majoring in Nemeta, I had to know what I'm talking about!"

Lydia hummed, clicking the compact shut.

"I'm pretty sure it's only you. Maybe Mason, but the tree has been there for hundreds of years and I haven't found anything about anyone getting possessed there. And you knew that it's basically impossible to get to a real Nemeton anyway, you should have thought about it in advance."

Stiles made a wide gesture with his hands.

"See, you can't say for sure that no one has ever gone there! Just that they didn't get possessed. Or maybe they did, but it's a terrible media campaign for a university, so now we will never know."

Lydia just looked at him, her expression that of a Catholic nun waiting for a secular person to understand the wrongness of their ways.

Stiles made a face back at her. There was nothing wrong about talking to a tree, especially if that tree could talk to you back. Even though you didn't understand it, so it might have told you to fuck off.

The demon purred quietly. That blew all of whatever fun the bickering brought Stiles away immediately. Throwing a demon at someone was probably very much a 'fuck off' gesture.

Stiles had to figure out a way to get rid of it before it found a way to get rid of him. He wasn't going to let the tree win. Or the demon.

"Have you tried talking to it?" Lydia asked, paging through an Enochian dictionary.

Stiles scowled.

"What?"

"Have you…"

"No, I understood the question. Why the hell would I talk to it? It's a fucking demon possessing me, what would it say to me? 'Give me blood and souls of virgins?' I only have bagels anyway."

"You went to talk to a tree."

"And look where it got me. Almost as if I went out once and got pregnant. We're not negotiating with terrorists."

Lydia looked thoughtful.

"No, I don't think it's like that at all, actually. Anyway. Maybe it doesn't want to be in your scrawny little human body as well and wants to go back home to its tree. You never know. You should ask it."

Stiles thought about it.

***

After the one night Lydia spent there, Stiles was alone in his house for the whole break. Scott, Liam, and Mason, with whom he normally shared it, were back at Beacon Hills, which put Stiles in a melancholy mood. He wanted to go home, too, to visit his dad, to bring flowers to his mom. Not to be stuck alone for a shit ton of time with only a demon in his head for company. A literal demon.

But Stiles didn't want to go home before he figured out what was happening with his possession in case the demon would like to start actually doing something. He wasn't going to endanger his family and friends like that. Well, more than was necessary. He didn't really have a choice to move out of the house away from his roommates. And he was still on the campus territory. But he assumed that a magical university was better equipped for handling these kinds of unorthodox situations than a town that was weird but had more supernatural creatures like Lydia and Jordan rather than witches like Stiles. Although there were more and more of them in recent years. There were more spontaneously born witches in Stiles' generation than there had been in the town in many, many years, it seemed, and no one was sure what it meant. Maybe it was nothing. Maybe it was some shit about natural magic migrating from place to place. Maybe there was something deeper. Stiles didn't really care.

What Stiles cared about was that, of course, the night he wanted to pull an all-nighter and dive deep into the books he got from the library, mostly to do literally anything rather than curl up on the bed and cry, he was alone at the house, and it was storming. The electricity went out, his phone connection was hardly there. He was reading another book on demons under the light of his flashlight. Holding it with his teeth, how his dentist had repeatedly told him not to do. He would've used a spell, but stable lighting spells required stable background focus, and that was not Stiles forte.

But who needed teeth if they were going to die a slow painful death anyway? Stiles' favorite potential way to go, obviously.

It was a wonder that he still had a flashlight at all, if he was being honest. So he had to get all the use out of it, including ruining his teeth while he jumped from the rumble of thunder or a flash outside. It was dark outside and he could see trees, their shaking in the wind in this light making them look like a crowd in a club. The whole glass door leading to the tiny patio that he was sitting near was going to be covered in droplet stains, and Stiles hated those.

He burrowed deeper into his pillow-and-blanket nest, tugging the hood of his hoodie lower onto his head. At least he was warm and cozy here inside on the carpeted floor and had literally no reason to go out there.

Some people probably had.

Stiles felt sorry for them.

And he felt sorry for himself.

The research still wasn't going great. It wasn't going at all, really. Right now Stiles sat with four different books around him, constantly having to stop in order to check stuff in a dictionary (his Ancient Greek was shit, and he still couldn't comprehend why no one would translate any of it to this day; was it ‘I suffered, so you all have to, too' thing?), and literally the only reason he managed to get himself to do it was because he had absolutely nothing else to do, so he was stalling terribly. He could just go to sleep, but sleep meant nightmares. And he didn't feel that much at ease being alone in a storm in the dark to sleep, so research he did, even if his eyes were kind of threatening to close any minute.

Maybe he shouldn't have gotten that cozy.

Stiles had fought this battle many times, and this time he was going to win.

Technically he always had the option of actually doing his schoolwork as well, since he was actually going to university and everything. And he had some homework for the break that he should probably do. Eventually. But he was good enough at it anyway. One of the best in his year. Somehow, it was honestly sort of baffling even for Stiles himself since he kept doing things like that instead of studying. That being getting into the ley line forest near the campus (that was a magical nature preserve and anyone except maintenance weren't allowed to enter) to talk to the stump of the oldest tree in there – the local Nemeton – and get possessed by a freaking demon that apparently had been just hanging out there.

So Stiles would say that he had to cut himself some slack with schoolwork and focus on potentially saving his own life.

His actual work, however, was a different question, but Stiles had ‘no work past ten pm' rules in place for a reason.

Magical trees (or their stumps) were way more interesting than writing an article about which lawnmowers were better anyway.

On the one hand, Stiles knew that campus was specifically built near the forest on the cross of ley lines, power here was much stronger and almost palpable sometimes, during storms especially. Like today. He could almost feel it sparkle in the back of his throat.

On the other hand, one couldn't build a university campus full of university kids near such a cool place and actually expect everyone to just deal with the fact that they weren't allowed in there. Stiles was absolutely sure that he wasn't the first and he wasn't the last one to do that, even if Lydia and he couldn't find any evidence of that.

Even if literally every single one of his friends said that they didn't find it that interesting. Just a forest. Even Mason wasn't super excited, and Mason was super excited about literally blinking. It was like there was a spell on the forest.

Stiles considered checking it, but what spell would he use to check such a big territory for something like that? He probably didn't have enough power for something like that, anyway.

But Stiles felt like he couldn't sleep until he got to see it with his own two eyes. He couldn't even exactly say why.

There wasn't that much information about ley line forests in general, and the Nemeton was even more unique in current times.

There weren't that many left.

Stiles was going to specialize in Nemeta specifically, and he had absolutely no explanation about why he found them so fascinating.

There were also no notes about demons in Nemeta that Stiles knew of.

Stiles didn't even really understand what happened. Just one moment he was standing over the stump, hearing its breathy voice in his head or all around him all at once, not very clear and in a language he didn't understand, but it didn't stop him from asking questions; the next he woke up several hours later with a weird presence in the back of his mind.

The presence was generally chill at first. It didn't seem to be too aggressive, at least for now, willing just to be there and not bother Stiles too much.

Except for more and more terrifying nightmares.

Stiles didn't know much about demons, it wasn't his field of studies, but he was pretty sure they were supposed to be evil, and it did feel like it, so he didn't want to risk leaving the problem unattended.

So here he was, in the middle of a storm, in the dark, trying to find anything about his demon without literally any information to start from instead of studying or working. 1001 productive ways to fuck your own life according to Stiles Stilinski, a memoir.

The magic was buzzing in the air, making Stiles feel restless and like something was going to happen, the weird taste in his mouth making him swallow all the time, which was annoying.

He decided to think that this feeling meant that he was going to find something. Today was the day he made progress. A break-through.

But it was also making his ADHD kind of worse.

Stiles closed his eyes, letting his head fall back onto the couch behind his back.

There was a flash of lightning outside and then came thunder, making him jump again.

In the ringing quiet after that was only the murmur of falling rain hitting the pavement just outside the sliding glass door in front of Stiles. It was a terrible place to be during a storm, but Stiles wanted a pillow nest, and a pillow nest he made.

For a moment there was a lull in all the noise, and Stiles heard something weird.

There was a slight whining from the outside. Stiles sat up and listened closer.

There it was again, weak, and sad and hurt.

The feeling of something big happening grew in his chest, making Stiles' heart flutter.

He really didn't want to get out of his blanket, leave alone going outside, but it did sound like a hurt animal, and Scott would never forgive Stiles if he let a pet suffer like that.

He scrambled up, almost falling over his books, only being stopped by the glass door into which he slammed face first with a thud. When he finally managed to open the door, after the third time trying to grab the lock on it, he was stunned by how loud everything outside was, the rain, the wind, the farther-away thunder.

This glass had some good soundproofing it seemed. Stiles felt immediately disoriented, the wind blowing all around him into the house with a terrible whoosh, throwing his hood off, and cold rain immediately hitting his face, making him want to close his eyes.

After going back in and getting wrapped into all the blankets he could find like a burrito, that was.

Something big, black, and soaking wet suddenly appeared, seemingly out of nowhere because of how dark it was, next to him, and before Stiles had a chance to actually get scared, this something just pushed him aside and slithered into the house, immediately burrowing under Stiles' blankets with all of its wet… fur?

There was some more whining from under the nest somewhere, and Stiles slowly stepped inside, closing the door behind him, and cutting a lot of the noise off. He stepped closer to the mildly shivering and quietly whining pile. There was a huge black dog in Stiles' house, looking tired and hurt and very, very wet. It had its head on its front legs, laying on its belly, the nose hidden under the blanket Stiles was sitting under before.

"Hey buddy…" Stiles crouched down next to it, his heart beating hard.

A wild animal in the house was the last thing he wanted right now, but as soon as he got close to it, he felt a tugging in his mind, not like the demon, but like he suddenly came home, that warmth and comfort.

He had read about this feeling, even in scientific terms, and he had always suspected that he would feel it one day because he was strong enough, but he didn't think he was so strong he needed something that big, because, as he suddenly realized, this wasn't a dog, this was a whole-ass wolf.

There weren't even supposed to be any wolves around here, so this one must have made a long journey to get to Stiles.

But that was what they did, didn't they? Familiars would find their witch anywhere when the time came.

Because what Stiles felt was the connection to his familiar.

He placed a hand on the wolf's head, and it stirred a bit, opening its eyes, looking up at Stiles. Stiles could feel the warmth of the connection almost burning him for a second before settling into that buzzing current-like sensation under his skin.

He hoped it was going to settle, feeling this charged all the time could not be fun.

The wolf nuzzled into his hand.

"Are you hurt?" He said gently, scratching carefully behind the wolf's ears, trying to remember what he knew about familiars and healing.

Too bad the cell connection was down, otherwise he could've called Scott for advice. He didn't think he could do much for the wolf without electricity as well, but he also was pretty sure that now that it was with him it wasn't going to die and should heal faster. Familiars were very hard to kill in any other way than their witch taking too much of their life power, and Stiles wasn't doing anything.

The wolf didn't answer, but closed its eyes, rubbing its head against Stiles' palm.

There was another flash of lightning.

There was a whole puddle on the floor that was going to get into the floor soon, and some huge dirty wet pawprints. Stiles wasn't going to clean that up tonight, he understood with a mental sigh.

He had some new, much more interesting things to do.

The wolf was pretty big. Stiles knew that the size (and intelligence level, it was a complicated thing) of a witch's familiar depended on how strong they were going to be at their prime, and they came when the witch needed them the most, just found their person through magic somehow, and he had always thought that maybe he was going to get a dog, a small terrier or something, and it was the pinnacle of his dreams, but this was a whole wolf, and it was huge.

Then it stood up suddenly and shook, sending water splattering everywhere, including Stiles, then promptly plopping back down again, hiding its face back under one of the blankets.

"Well thanks for getting me wet," Stiles said, making a face. Everything smelled like a wet dog.

The wolf jerked an ear at him, its eyes closed, seemingly indifferent to the mess it made.

He heard wolves were hard to train, so he probably was in for some fun times now.

Another thing on his plate.

But this thing moved everything out of Stiles' mind immediately, it was even almost like the demon in his head decided to give him some time to live through every witch's childhood dream.

He got his familiar!

Stiles carefully sat down next to it petting its back. He just hoped that his presence was enough to heal his new familiar, because this was the best he could do at the moment. Scott had explained to him once that human medical spells didn't work right on animals sometimes, so Stiles didn't want to risk it. Plus he wasn't that great at them anyway. His specialty were various types of research spells.

Anyway, he wasn't exactly sure why he thought that his familiar was hurt at all, but it was the best thing he could use to explain the kind of wrongness about the wolf he felt now, that the initial pull of the connection settled a bit.

It was so weird to feel it at all, like another presence in the back of his head (yes, a second one), and he had only just found his familiar. What was it going to be later, when the bond grew stronger?

He shouldn't be able to actually feel all the feelings, but he was going to develop the sense of general ideas of how his familiar was feeling, he thought. He was going to find time to read up on that too.

Or forget about all of it and experience all of it organically. Yes, this sounded like the best plan right now, very in Stiles' own style.

"I'm sorry I can't do anything for you. Do you want some water? Are you hungry?" It hit him that he should probably set a bowl of water anyway, just in case, and maybe get some meat out of the (now useless) freezer to at least offer to the wolf in the morning, but as soon as was he was fully seated and before he got to stand up again, the wolf shuffled a bit, pushing Stiles onto his back and placing its front paws and head onto his chest, closing his eyes and sighing contently.

Those were heavy as hell.

Stiles chuckled. It was contagious, apparently.

"You just want to cuddle right now? Okay, we can cuddle." He bent awkwardly, placing a little kiss on the wolf's head.

He should've probably given it a bath first, he thought, scrunching up his nose immediately, but it was definitely tired and just wanted to sleep, it looked like, so Stiles could do that for now.

"You smell terrible by the way," like a ton of very wet and very dirty dog fur.

Stiles could see a paw print made lovely in fresh liquidly dirt on the front of his hoodie.

The wolf huffed, his ears twitching a bit, but didn't even think about moving, that was obvious. It found its spot, and it was going to use it.

Stiles guessed he was trapped now.

He could feel the wolf's heartbeat slowing down under his hand and its breathing becoming a calm, even rhythm, and then slowly started to slip into a dream himself.

The last thing he felt was the other presence in the back of his head stirring.

#teen wolf #steo #stiles stilinski #theo raeken #sdiwitw #my fandom #my writing stuff

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reidgraygubler · 3 years

Text

handsome enough to tempt me (spencer reid/reader)

Title: Handsome Enough To Tempt Me

Request: kinda, not really

Couple: Spencer Reid/Fem!reader

Category: fluff/angst (Kinda slow-burn, enemies/rivals to lovers)

Content Warning: period piece, regency au, maybe the slightest bit of angst, a teeny-tiny bit of slut-shaming, age gap (note: i think gap relationships were a thing in the 1800s, so I’m not super worried. I don’t have a defined age, but it isn’t 37 year old Spencer, it’s younger), marriage/proposals, ooc characters (JJ and Spencer), i don’t really know what else to tag, this is mostly fluff and, like 1800s dancing and talking, so if I missed anything please let me know.

Word Count: 8,822

Summary: Reader meets Spencer Reid at a well-known estate ball. The pair learn to love each other, even when they hate each other.

A/N: this was written for @imagining-in-the-margins fic swap! this was written for the lovely @omgbigfluffwriting! i took a couple of the prompts and aus (royal au/historical au) she likes and came up with this. i kinda based it around pride and prejudice. please bear with me, this is the first time i’ve ever written a period piece/royal au... so it’s not perfect. but, i hope you all enjoy it!!! Thanks for all the love and support! check out my masterlist!

{***}{***}{***}

It was officially the start of Social Season. The most terrifying time of the season, if I’ll be honest with you. My mother had insisted that it’s time I put myself out there, claiming time is wasting away and I should get married sooner rather than later. I couldn’t even begin to wonder why she’s so worried about me attending social events… Must be because she wants me to be like a bunny and have children by the litter… Like her and my father.

So, that would be why I’m at the first social gathering of the season, wearing the absolute best I had, looking around at all the potential suitors. It was rather stressful. Having to be the very best for all the men.

That was until my eye caught the attention of Sir Luke Alvez. He was busy with people on his arms and people behind him. Everyone was trying to win his attention, but he was trying to get everyone’s attention. And it would seem like he’d won it from everyone.

“Sir Luke,” I smiled at the familiar man as he walked by me. I’d only ever been to one event before with his attendance. He always seemed too busy with others to know what was happening around him. I honestly couldn’t blame him. There’s always too much going on around to know what was happening.

“Save me a dance,” Luke looked at me with a smile. I looked up at him with pure astonishment, feeling the shock of him wanting to dance with me. Typically higher class people don’t dance with the lower class. This is quite a scene for most people. I could sense a large commotion coming from him.

“Of course,” I returned his smile before curtsying. I looked back at him, again, as he walked away from me. That was the end of our conversation as he continued walking away. The rest of his party walked past me. Well, I’d call it his party, but I wasn’t so sure how many of them were with him. The number of people (men and women both) following after him was intriguing. Something was telling me to keep my hopes low, and that dancing with him will most likely not happen.

After a few moments, a familiar woman stepped up to me. Her gown was intriguing, as was her hair, jewelry, and makeup. But, she always dressed to impress. With her lilac dress, and beautiful golden hair pinned to frame her face. I was always envious when I saw her, and she knew that too. Which was why we were still friends. She also helped me when I needed it, like at events like this. Where all the single men and women were around, and all the women tried to swoon the men. Who knows if it’ll work though, she’s been married for years.

“Mrs Jareau,” I smiled at her and nodded my head. Jennifer smiled at me before inviting me into a hug. I enveloped my arms around her to graciously accept her hug.

“Have you been in good health?” Jennifer asked as she backed away from me a step. I smiled and nodded.

“Of course,” I looked around the room at all the people, “My parents aren’t here, but they sent me off with one mission, and one mission only,” I laughed as I looked back at her.

“I’d keep away from Luke Alvez then,” she laughed as she looked over at the man in question. I followed her gaze and noticed that he already had two new ladies on his arms. So much for saving a dance with him. “Something of a man whore,” she looked back at me and laughed, again. I looked at her and shrugged.

“Better to find out now I suppose, instead of later," I whispered as she looked over at her friend. I looked around the room, looking at the other people who weren’t dancing.

“Do you want to meet Mister Reid? Surely he’ll dance with you,” Jennifer looked at me with a smile. I looked back at her and raised an eyebrow.

“Surely? And if he doesn’t?” I asked, looking down at her hand as she offered it to me. I stared at it for a moment before gently placing my hand on top of hers. And with that, she guided me towards her friend.

“Trust me, he’ll want to dance with you,” she looked over at me. She had a very reassuring look in her eyes, silently telling me that everything will be okay. How am I supposed to trust her? I’ve never met Mister Reid before, how am I supposed to know that he’ll dance with me?

“If you say so, Mrs Jareau,” I laughed lightly. She guided me towards the back of the room, where the rest of her party was. Of course, everyone she’s with is some level of class, while I’m just middle class. How is she, my friend? I do not know. But I’m grateful to have a friend like her. She can tell me all of the secrets of her friends, and the people they follow.

The closer we got to her small circle of friends, the more I realized just how real this was about to be. At least three of her gentlemen friends had a woman or two around them, but the one we were walking towards had several women around him. He looked mildly annoyed with the number of people around him. Maybe even more uncomfortable than anything else. Jennifer was probably the one who looked more annoyed.

“Is this usual for him?” I looked over at my friend. She looked back at me and nodded. “How come I’ve never seen him at any balls? I figured you’d bring all of your friends to events like this,” I laughed lightly.

“Usually, women flock to him, because he’s one of the most eligible suitors. He’s smart, has money, has the looks, people love him… Especially mothers with eligible daughters,” Jennifer explained as we got closer to her friend. She looked over at me and flashed me a smile. I glared at her. Her smile grew playful as she looked back at her friend.

“Why does he not have a wife then?” I looked back at her as I pulled my hand away from her. I held my hands in front of my body and stood closer to Jennifer.

“He just hasn’t found the woman he likes yet,” she whispered. We were still several feet away. I was confident that he couldn’t hear our conversations, considering he still had a hoard of women around him. They were all trying to impress him, or trying to get him to take their next dance. I was just impressed by him not paying attention to anyone around him. “Let's hope that changes tonight,” Jennifer whispered close to my ear. I looked at her with wide eyes and obvious shock on my face.

“Jennifer,” I whispered, hoping to stop her before we got any further. Unfortunately for me, she didn’t hear a word I said as she still dragged me closer and closer to her friend. I silently prayed that from this moment on would be nothing but smooth sailing.

“Excuse me, ladies!” Jennifer shouted over the clammer. I looked up at her and held back my laughter. My laughter paired with Jennifer’s shouting would probably have had everyone deem us as unladylike. Good thing my parents already think that of me.

All the ladies scurried away from Mister Reid, they glared at me and Jennifer. I’m sure it had everything to do with us interrupting their flirting with a man who’s never seemed interested in them in the first place. I placed my hand over my mouth to hold back my inexcusable laughter. Why was I suddenly so giggly?

“Mister Reid,” Jennifer curtsied once we were standing in front of the somewhat familiar-looking man. He stood on a platform with a certain stature that compared to no other man in the room. And there was a level of attractiveness. I mean, I suppose out of everyone in the room, he was one of the most attractive. It made sense why men envied him and wanted to be him, and why women wanted to be with him.

I’ve only ever seen him once before. At an event, sort of like this one. Jennifer was standing with him, chatting about something. I never went to talk to him, mostly because I had caught Jennifer’s eye and she wanted to be with me instead of him. If she wasn’t already married and had two children, I’d be sure that she’d be courting him.

Jennifer saying my name is what grabbed my attention. I was just too involved with my thoughts to listen to “She’s been to many of these dances, but is officially putting herself out,”

“Mister Reid,” I looked up at him as I curtsied.

Much like any other single man at this stupid ball, he seemed too preoccupied with the people around. Granted, he looked like the type of person to enjoy his personal space, and here it’s near impossible. And, with a man like Mister Reid, having a crowd of women at your feet takes away all sense of personal space. I could tell he was over and done with all and any events from now till the end of time.

“Seems like her head is somewhere else and in the clouds, Mrs Jareau,” Mister Reid looked over at me, then at Jennifer with a sort of pretentious snare in his eye. I widened my eyes and stared at him, feeling a fluster blaze on my skin. Jennifer looked over at me with her mouth agape before looking up at her friend. “Doesn’t seem like it’s your coming out time. Maybe you should go back home,” he kept his eyes on me and nodded.

“Spencer,” her words were nearly breathless as she spoke. The disbelief in her voice nearly shook me to the core. Why? I couldn’t tell you. Mostly because I was also in disbelief. I honestly wasn’t sure what I was expecting him to say, but it was in no way something like that. If I wasn’t raised the way I was… I would have met my fist with his face.

“I-I’m sorry,” I kept my eyes on him, mostly because I wasn’t entirely too sure what I should have said in response. Spencer, because he no longer deserves the title of ‘Mister Reid’, looked down at me with a sly smirk. “I was trying to place how I knew you, Mister Reid, and if I’ve seen you at any other dances,” I almost scoffed, but I decided it wasn’t exactly worth the breath of air.

“Well, while Mrs Jareau was introducing us, you were too busy looking around the room, not even listening. You didn’t even have the sense of introducing yourself to me,” he started to explain my inability to pay attention for a span of time. I dropped my shoulders as I stared at him. “Something of a halfwit,” he added under his breath. It was just loud enough for Jennifer and I to react with a gasp.

“Spencer,” Jennifer stepped in again before I had the audacity to suddenly jump down his throat and start something with a man of higher repertoire than someone like myself, or my family. He probably had the power to ruin my family if he wanted to. “What has gotten into you,” she whispered as she stepped closer to her friend.

“No, no, he’s right… If I’m incapable to introduce myself to someone like himself, then I am in no way ready to be out looking for marriage,” I looked at Jennifer before giving her a sad smile. Jennifer looked up at Spencer with a glare in her eye. Spencer looked back at Jennifer, silently telling her that this would be the end of our interaction.

“Let’s take a turn about the room,” Jennifer looked back at me and smiled. I looked back at her before down at her hand. I gently rested my hand on hers before looking back at Spencer.

“It was a pleasure, Mister Reid,” I spoke as I looked right at his eyes. He looked back at me with a coolness in his eye. I could feel an angered heat coming from my body as Jennifer and I walked away from her friend.

“I’m so sorry about him. He’s never like that,” she whispered as we walked back towards the front of the room. It took everything in my body to not want to shout.

“It seemed like he doesn’t like social events,” I laughed somewhat coolly. Jennifer looked over at me and joined my laughter.

“That would be correct. He’s not very much a social person, despite having a social title,” she chuckled. We stopped by the drinks table, taking a glass of lemonade for ourselves.

“Arrogant bastard, that’s what seems correct,” I cleared my throat. My eyes scanned the room, landing on Spencer on the far side. He looked back at me, clearly trying to act like this was not happening. The air in the room was suddenly suffocating me and the walls themselves were closing in on me.

Jennifer was going on and on about Spencer, and the other eligible men she knows. I honestly couldn’t hear anything she was saying. My head was slightly getting dizzy.

“Arrogant bastard… I do agree he can be like-”

“I’m so sorry, Mrs Jareau, but I must retire for the night,” I looked at her as I lowered my glass to the table. Jennifer raised an eyebrow.

“But the night is still young,” She gestured to the rest of the party. My heart sank as I gazed around the room, it only sank further when my eyes landed on Spencer.

“Yes, but I fear I am coming down with something,” I murmured as I looked back at her. Jennifer’s eyes grew worried. “Until next time, Mrs Jareau,” I nodded and curtsied before turning to leave the ball and room altogether.

{***}{***}{***}

“I told you, Mama, I just don’t think now is my time,” I looked at her reflection in the mirror as one of the housemaids brushed through my hair. Mother scowled as she thought about her argument back.

“Times-”

“Running out! I know, Mama. I just… I just don’t think now is the right time,” I turned and watched as she shoved my second youngest sibling out of the room. I stifled my laughter as she looked back at me. “I’m still young,” I stood up and walked over to her. I rested my hands on her shoulders, feeling a certain anxiety bubble in my stomach. “It won’t be the end of the world. I’m 21, Mama, not an old maid. Please do not worry,” I smiled at her. Mother sighed before looking over at the dress set out for me to wear.

“Please, just promise me you’ll keep your options open. Do not let one man ruin this all for you,” she spoke softly. I sighed deeply, trying to find my words.

“I will not let one man ruin all this for me. Do not worry,” I laughed softly.

“I best let you finish getting ready. Your siblings are nearly finished. We don’t want to be waiting on you,” she shot me a glare before leaving me at once. I sighed before turning back to the maid.

“Shall we?” I asked, raising an eyebrow. The maid laughed before going over to the bed.

“What was it that Mister Reid had said to you, Miss? You’ve always been so excited for such events, but after the most recent one… You seem… less than thrilled by them.” The maid asked as she helped me step into the dress. I took a deep breath as she began buttoning up the buttons.

“He called me a halfwit,” I rolled my eyes and shook my head. “Something of a halfwit is what he said… It was because I was distracted by, well, by him. He just had a crowd of women around him, and he seemed so put-off by them. Most men, and women, my age… They’re looking for the next eligible... person. And there he had the pick of the lot, and he didn’t want anything to do with them,” I cocked my head to my shoulder as I looked at my reflection, “But after Mrs Jareau introduced us, and even after he insulted me… In fact, up until I left the ball, I could just feel his eyes on me. As if he was watching me.” I brought a hand to my lips once I finished my statement.

“I think I’m still in shock about him calling you a halfwit,” the maid came around to stand in front of me. I laughed as I looked up at her. “Why do you think he was watching you?”

“To be honest… I have no idea. He made it clear that he was in no way interested in me,” I shrugged as she cinched my dress. A breath of air was forced from my lungs. I nearly fell over from how much force she used to pull the corset tight. “Careful,” I looked over at her.

“Sorry, Miss.” The maid looked at my reflection.

“It’s alright,” I chuckled as I watched as she picked up the dress I’d be wearing to the dance, “I think I’d rather have you put me out of my misery instead of attending this stupid event,” I muttered and stepped closer to her. She carefully (but quickly) helped me into the dress.

“It’ll be over before you know it. And, who knows, maybe Mister Reid will even leave you, and Mrs Jareau alone,” she smiled as she added some finishing touches. “You’re in the best years of your life. Don’t let a silly man ruin them,” she held both my cheeks. I smiled at her and nodded.

“You always give the best advice,” I whispered as I rested my hands on top of hers.

“Well, I’m happy someone listens to my advice,” she laughed with a smile, “Promise me you’ll have a good night,” she asked as she went back to helping me get ready.

“Just for you, I’ll have a great night,” I smiled and cocked my head. I suppose I looked great. My anxiety was just getting out of control because of Mister Reid. Hopefully, he’ll leave me be.

{***}{***}{***}

Oh, how I wished my maid was a prophet, and how I wished for her to be right. Because then her prophecy of Mister Reid leaving us alone would be real, and I could just get on with my life. However, we were all wrong. Because, as Jennifer and I stood at the punch table, in the crowd, I could see Mister Reid making his way towards Jennifer and me. Maybe he’ll pretend I don’t exist, and just greet Jennifer.

“Mrs Jareau,” Spencer stopped right in front of the two of us. I glanced at Jennifer and bit my lips back.

“Mister Reid,” Jennifer returned with a curtsied. I looked around the room, expecting Spencer to ignore me.

However, much to my surprise, and Jennifer’s, Spencer bowed in front of me and greeted me for the night. I looked over at Jennifer with shock on my face before looking back at him. I wasn’t expecting him to greet me at all, to be honest. Considering how our last meeting went. This was the last thing I was expecting. Halfwit. It took everything in me not to scoff.

“Mister Reid,” I rolled my shoulders and readjusted my posture as I looked at him. I could feel Jennifer’s eyes on me as I curtsied to the man in front of us. “How are you this evening?” I asked, holding my hands together in front of my body.

“I’m doing just fine, thank you,” he nodded before looking over at Jennifer. Part of me wondered if she told him to relax, and not to be so arrogant. “And yourself?” he cocked his head to his shoulder as he looked back at me.

“I’m excellent, thank you,” I bowed my head again. Jennifer wrapped an arm around my back and gently shoved me towards Spencer. I grunted as I nearly fell into his frame. I almost, nearly, glared at her.

“Something tells me Mrs Jareau wants us to dance,” Spencer spoke quietly, not wanting anyone else to hear his words. I glanced over my shoulder, searching for Jennifer. But to my surprise, she was gone, leaving me to my own devices, abandoning me with a man who hates me.

“My dance card is full,” I lied, I cringed as I told the lie. Spencer raised an eyebrow as he looked towards the blank dance card in my hand. I looked down at it, silently cursing for being so obvious with my lies.

“Just one dance,” Spencer’s eyes shifted to my face. If it weren’t for the necklace I was forced to wear (by my mother, of course), I’d probably be able to breathe just fine. But I felt like I was suffocating. “Please,” he lifted a hand, offering it for me to take. I stared at it. Just one dance and we can get it over with. That’s it.

“If it’ll make you leave me alone for the rest of the night, Mister Reid, then I’ll dance with you,” I spoke, my voice shaky, as I hesitantly placed my hand over his. He latched his thumb over my hand before guiding me towards the dance floor. Murmurs came from women as we passed by them. That made me feel good, but the only thing that didn’t make me feel good was dancing with the man I was with.

I’m sure they were all thinking ‘Well, why would she dance with him? She hates him.’ It’s not that I hated him… Okay, yeah I did. But, I’d honestly do anything just to make those other girls jealous. They all knew that too. I think even Spencer knew that too.

He had one hand rested low on my back, while the other held one of my hands. My free hand rested on his shoulder. The music started, and we started off our dance. I could feel people's eyes on us, watching as we went perfectly with the music. Like, it was a match that was meant to happen. Match made in heaven and in hell. My mother will surely have a fit about this once we returned home.

His touch felt like fire against my skin. The way his thumb brushed against the back of my hand, and his fingers interlocked with mine, made me want to melt. Part of me sensed that he could read my thoughts. I know how absurd that must sound. But, that was a fear that I currently had. If he could hear what I was thinking, I would surely die.

So I quickly looked up at him, nearly breaking my neck at the speed. Spencer was looking around the room, probably for one of his friends. Or, even better, a way of escape. Despite my current thoughts, I didn’t blame him.

“Are you alright, Mister Reid,” I whispered, looking up at his face. He blinked before looking down at me. He looked… bored. Which was unfortunate, because these balls were always a grandiose event. Maybe that’s just how he is, bored of anything and anyone. Oh, he’s probably bored of me.

“Mhm, what was that?” He looked back down at me. The way he asked his question told me that if I had had a whole conversation with him, he hadn’t heard a thing. So, I suppose it’s a good thing that I was having conversations with myself, not with him. I didn’t keep my eyes on his face, my anxiety was acting up. If my anxiety wasn’t so bad, I’m sure I would have looked right at him. So, I looked away from him. That was until I looked right at him, and he was looking back at me. My breath hitched in my throat once my eyes locked with his.

I was grateful when the song came to an end, Spencer and I froze on the middle of the floor, eyes still on each other while the people around us stared at us. My chest heaved as I stared at him. His hand was still firmly placed on my back, holding me close to him. I swallowed roughly, suddenly feeling very exposed, for no reason whatsoever.

“I have… I have to go,” I muttered before pulling my hands away from his body. I stared at him for a moment before finally turning away, leaving him and the room altogether. I let out a sigh of relief when I finally made it outside. I walked back and forth in front of the busy building.

“What was that? Are you okay?” Jennnifer’s voice came from behind me. I turned around and looked at her. My breathing was still hard, it felt impossible to catch.

“What was that? You’re asking me what that was? You left me,” I looked at her with wide eyes. I felt a little bad for shouting at her. It’s true though, had she not left me alone with Spencer, I probably wouldn’t have danced with him.

“I didn’t put him up to that. That was all on his own,” Jennifer stepped closer to me, reaching a hand out to hold one of mine. I took a deep breath and shook my head.

“Oh, I’m positive that’s what he did,” I folded my arms over my chest as I looked at her. Jennifer looked at me with a semi-apologetic look in her eye.

“Okay, I’m sorry I left you with him. But, Will called for me, and I just had to go see him,” she explained softly. I looked at her and dropped my shoulders.

“Should you know, I hated every moment of that,” I watched as she came closer to me. Jennifer smiled before resting her hands on my shoulders. “I just keep thinking about our first interaction… A halfwit!” I exclaimed as I looked at her. She looked taken back with me exclaiming and shouting. But to be fair, it was her friend that was being arrogant to me after she promised that he would want to dance.

“He didn’t mean it. He thinks he’s the smartest man in that room,” Jennifer laughed as she looked over her shoulder towards the building. I followed her gaze. “He’s even called me a halfwit before. And he’s the godfather to my kids,” she looked back at me and smiled.

“Well, maybe he shouldn’t have that, and included that I was not ready for marriage,” I shook my head.

“He, himself, doesn’t think he’s exactly ready for marriage, either. He says that to anyone who merely shows him the slightest bit of interest,” she spoke. Her tone implied that I was ever interested in him. She should know that I wasn’t even interested in a man like Spencer Reid.

“Well, good for him… Someone should tell him that I’m not, nor ever was or will be, interested in him,” I scoffed and rolled my eyes.

“I’ll let you be the one to do that,” she smiled at me. I rolled my eyes again but smiled at her. “Will you come in now before you catch a cold? I don’t think your mother will want to hear you got sick because you were avoiding a man,” she laughed. I couldn’t help but laugh too because she’s never said anything truer. Jennifer lifted her hand, offering it to me to take.

“I suppose you’re right… Just, don’t make me dance with Mister Reid ever again,” I looked over at her as we walked back into the building.

“We shall see,”

{***}{***}{***}

“Do you really have to go,” one of my siblings clung to my body as I walked down the hall, away from my room, and towards the front door.

“I really do have to go. Jennifer invited me over for a few days. I’ll be back before you even know it,” I smiled down at them before ruffling my hand through their hair. They pouted and clung to me harder. “What am I to do when I do get married? And when I move out?” I chuckled.

“Please don’t go,” they mumbled into my dress. I frowned before lifting them onto my hip.

“I have to. You be good for Mama,” I pecked their nose before placing them back on the ground. They looked up at me, annoyed that I put them down. “I’ll be back before you know it. I promise.” I chuckled softly. They looked up at me, annoyed with the mere thought of my slightest bit of amusement. “This will be the last time I go away for a few days,” I laughed as I ruffled their hair again.

“Fine, if you say so,” they looked up at me before sulking away. I tried to not let my amusement of leaving be too bothersome, but I honestly don’t remember the last time I had an overnight at Jennifer’s manor. It’ll be nice, get away from everyone for a few days.

I retreated to my room, to finish packing for my journey. It was just me and my thoughts. That was until my mother stepped into my room, unannounced.

“I do hope you change your mind, Dear,” her voice came from behind me, just by the door to my room. I dropped my clothing, unfolded, into my suitcase. I tried hard not to drop my shoulders, but failed, allowing them to slouch down. “Well, don’t slouch, you know that’s bad for your posture,”

“What do you hope I change my mind on, Mother?" I muttered as I lifted my shoulders, and picked my dress back up. I carefully folded it and placed it gently in my suitcase.

“You should be letting the maids pack for you, that’s the whole reason we have them,” she dramatically said as she sat on my bed. I looked over at her and blinked, trying to figure out the next thing that I wanted to say. I knew nothing would be right, though. Nothing would ever be right when it came to arguing with this madwoman.

“You said I should change my mind? On what exactly?” I glanced over at her, feeling my sudden annoyance radiating off my body. Mother looked up at me, watching as I picked up another dress.

“Oh, yes, that’s right,” a smile grew on her lips as she looked at me, “I hope you change your mind on your situation! Mister Reid is the most eligible bachelor there is, and you’re turning your nose up at such a great opportunity,” she clapped her hands together as she spoke. I sighed deeply, looking over at her with frustration. “This is your only chance!”

“Mother, I’m 21, I’ve still got time. Stop rushing me,” I laughed dryly as I closed my suitcase. “Mister Reid is a bastard. He’s the most arrogant man I’ve ever met. He’s already deemed me unworthy of marriage. So, what’s the point of getting married? Especially to him,” I snapped the locks shut as I looked over at her.

“So you’ll never see him again?” Mother asked, clearly upset with everything I Had to say about Mister Reid. I sighed deeply and nodded.

“Not if I can help it,” I let out a small laugh through my nose. She looked even more disappointed by my laughter and truth in my words. Good, if she knows there’s true emotion in my words, then maybe she’ll stay off. “The right man will come into my life, Mother, Mister Reid is just not that man,” I shook my head as I kept talking. I could sense Mother staring at me as I rambled on, and on. There was a certain gleam in her eyes like she knew something and wanted to keep it from me.

“Does Mrs Jareau’s husband have a brother?”

“Mama!” I shouted as I looked at her, “No, he does not. Okay? Please, please stop,” I dropped my shoulders again and looked at her, “I know you’re just worried about my future and everyone else’s, but I’m not too worried, okay?” I mumbled as I lugged my suitcase to the floor, “I have to go, I’ll be back in a few days. Promise,” I smiled at her as I dragged my suitcase down the stairs. With each thud, I could hear Mother’s thoughts, begging me to get a maid to carry it down the stairs. I was fully capable of carrying it myself.

Although once I was outside I would need help getting it onto the carriage. The footmen would have to get it on properly so it wouldn’t fall off on the way. That’d be more than unfortunate for me.

“Please do be careful,” mother was right beside me as I tried to board the carriage. I looked at her and smiled.

“Mama, I’m always careful,” I smiled before pecking her cheeks and embracing her, “I’ll be back soon, I promise. You won’t even know I’m gone,” I laughed before getting onto the carriage. I waved at mother as the driver started.

I was very grateful that Mother allowed me to take the carriage. The journey between my home and Jennifer’s manor was bad on foot. It’s even worse when the weather was bad, thankfully the weather wasn’t too bad, and the ride there wasn’t too terribly long. I always hated the journey but loved when I got to my destination.

I nearly tumbled out of the carriage once we made it to Jennifer’s. My excitement was just a little bit embarrassing. Well, to be fair it’s been quite a while since the last time I saw her, and I was more than excited to see her.

“Jennifer,” I exclaimed once I saw her. My feet moved on their own, carrying me fast to her.

“Oh my goodness! It’s been far too long,” it was her turn to exclaim as she wrapped her arms around me. Her embrace was tight, and that goes to show just how long it’s been since we’d last seen each other. “You are now obligated to come here even if there is no ball. Once a month from now on until one of us dies,” she rested her hands on my shoulders and smiled. I laughed and looked at her.

“As long as you keep inviting me over, I will always come,” I placed my hands on her arms.

“You must be famished after your journey, come,” she whispered as she grasped my hands. She pulled me into her home. Again, I nearly fell as she all but dragged me up the path towards her home.

“Yes, I am, but is there a reason for you to drag me as if I was a cow,” I laughed once we were inside her home. I looked around and took in all the intricate decorations she had in just the front room.

“They just finished making dinner as you pulled up. Wouldn’t want it to go cold,” Jennifer flashed me a somewhat nervous smile before leading me towards the dining room.

“What’s going on with you? You’re not ill, are you,” I asked as we entered the room. She stayed silent a moment longer, watching as I turned to face the table. “Oh,” I looked at the table and the person standing by it. Spencer was standing in front of his chair, looking between Jennifer and me.

“I see you also invited Mister Reid,” I looked over at Jennifer with raised eyebrows, “Without telling me,” I glanced over at the man in question. He had now stepped away from the table and slowly moved towards Jennifer and me.

“I knew if I told you he’d be here, you wouldn’t have come,” Jennifer whispered as she looked at me. I took a step back as I looked at Spener. “Please, he’s not that bad,”

“Well, I had no idea you’d be here either,” Spencer spoke with a bite in his tone. I stared at him before slowly blinking. The silence in the air was deafening, but at the same time so quiet. “In fact, had I known you were here, I certainly wouldn’t have come over,” he looked over at Jennifer. I let out a shaky breath as I looked at Jennifer too.

“Are you two serious? You do realize you’re both adults, correct?” Jennifer looked between us and scoffed, “I’m not even sure why you two are the way you are.” She continued before pushing past Spencer and towards the table. I watched as she took a seat at the head of the table.

“After you,” Spencer stepped to the side before gesturing towards the table and final open seat. I stared at him, a little bit confused with his sudden kindness.

“Thank you, Mister Reid,” I bowed my head before walking by him and taking the seat. Spencer walked around the table and sat at his seat. It was purely silent as the maids and butlers served dinner to Jennifer, Spencer, and me. I feared if I spoke about anything Spencer would immediately take offence to what I had said. I’m sure I could mention something about the weather, and he’d make it sound like I was an imbecile.

“How was your journey here? I hear you live a ways away,” Spencer asked before he took a sip of his water. If he wasn’t looking right at me, I wouldn’t have known he was talking to me. I nearly choked on my food once I realized he was talking to me.

“Oh, sorry,” I swallowed roughly as I earned a few eyebrows raised from the people around me, “It was quite alright. Thankfully my mother allowed me to take the carriage, and the weather was perfect,” I smiled as I looked at him.

“I do have to agree, the weather was wonderful for travel,” Spencer nodded as he lifted his fork to his lips. I stayed silent for a minute, watching as he ate.

“Did you have to travel at all, Mister Reid?” I asked, finally looking away from him and down at my food. Steamed vegetables and pork, with potatoes and cranberry sauce. Part of me felt terrible for Jennifer’s kids, they probably wouldn’t eat something like this. I know for sure my siblings wouldn’t dare look in the direction of steamed vegetables.

“Just the town over, my manor is not too far from here,” Spencer looked up at me with a fake friendly smile on his lips. I copied his expression and nodded. “My mother is still there. She’s lovely,”

“Oh! How is Diana?” Jennifer finally interrupted. I sighed deeply as I dropped my gaze back down to the table. The two kept talking about Spencer’s mother, and how she was doing. And from there, it was smooth sailing.

Or, so I thought. The following day was fine. But the next day was awful. Terrible. I had spent the morning in the library, a good chunk of it in fact, and then I took a turn about the garden, only to end up back in the library. Unfortunately, for me, I didn’t realize I had forgotten some of my personal belongings in a bad place.

“Mister Reid,” I looked at him and bowed my head as I stepped back into the library. Spencer looked away from the book he was reading and greeted me. “What are you reading?”

“You left your diary here and I wanted to figure out who you were.....and when I read it....” Spencer looked down at the book in his hand. I looked down and noticed that he was, indeed, holding on to my diary. I nearly fell to the ground as I rushed to pull it from his grasp. Our fingers just barely brushed against each other, and my breathing stuttered for a moment. Spencer sensed that too, looking up at me with wide eyes and shock masking over it.

“You idiot,” I looked up at him as I hugged my diary close to my chest. I wasn’t too sure if I was calling him an idiot, or myself for leaving my stupid diary in the library. Most likely the latter, to be honest. “You didn’t see anything, did you?” I couldn’t help but glare at him. There was just something about him that I loathed about him, I couldn’t tell you why. “You just had to be nosy,” I looked away from him before walking out of the library. I knew he would follow me before I heard his steps following me.

I just hoped he didn’t read too much into this stupid thing. There were too many secrets for him to know, even my siblings to know. But, there were other things that Spencer Reid couldn’t know. Sure I hate him, I think it was a deep-seated part of me that hated him. But, another part, the part that’s in this stupid diary, didn’t hate him. The part that had feelings for him. I’m sure it sounds silly, being in love with a man you hardly know. But my mother hardly knew my father before they got married. And, Jennifer hardly knew her husband before they got married (granted, she had fallen pregnant with his child. Forcing them into marriage).

“Wait,” Spencer called after me as he reached for my arm. I jerked my arm from him as I turned to face him. He was a lot closer to me than I anticipated, I nearly smashed into him. He lifted his hands and rested them on my shoulders to stop me from further falling into him. I looked up at him with wide eyes and alert on my face.

I realized his hands were on me, on my shoulders to keep me upright. My breathing, again, picked up, and my head started getting a little dizzy. I wasn’t entirely sure if I was swaying, granted his hands were still on me. I’d be lying to everyone, including myself if I said that I didn’t enjoy his touch. And, like before, at the ball, his touch felt like flames against my skin.

“Get your hands off me,” I jerked away from him and stepped back. He looked down at me, a little bit of hurt on his face and in his eyes. “I have to go.” I looked away from him before leaving again. I sincerely hoped he didn’t follow me this time. When I glanced over my shoulder and saw him still standing in the middle of the hallway, watching as I ran away from him.

Once I was behind the locked door to my room, I tossed the stupid book on my bed and began pacing back and forth. My arms folded across my chest, feeling my head get light headed again. But I had to keep moving to keep myself away from Spencer.

“Idiot! You….” I stopped and looked at my reflection in the mirror, “You stupid girl,” I scoffed at myself before going to lie on the bed. In fact, I pressed my face into my pillow before groaning into it.

{***}{***}{***}

“I definitely wasn't waiting around here hoping to bump into you or anything…” Spencer watched me as I re-entered the library. I looked up from the book I was holding and right at him. “Can we talk,” he asked, watching as I went to turn to leave the room. I froze as I looked at him.

“About what, Mister Reid?” I whispered as I slowly re-entered the room. He stumbled to his feet and watched as I walked over to one of the several, fully-stocked bookshelves. I tried not to listen to his footsteps or breathing. Because if I listened to them, I’d know he’d be close behind me.

“About what I saw in your-” He started, but stopped when I laughed lightly. I could hear the silence in his breathing, and that told me how close he was.

“You don’t know what you’re talking about,” I scoffed and shook my head, “I don’t know what you saw, Mister Reid, but whatever it was, was written by a childish girl who’s been conditioned to marry any gentleman who’s eligible for marriage. I had that moment of thought when I saw you at first. But then you called me a halfwit. So, whatever it was in you I saw quickly went away,” I spoke as I turned to face him. He was a lot closer to me than I had originally thought. “So, whatever you saw… Is false,” I smiled as I looked up at him. But, what he said next was something I wasn’t expecting.

“I called you that because I am in love with you,” He spoke with a calm voice. I swallowed roughly as I stared at him. “I’ve been in love with you since I first laid eyes on you,” he whispered. I felt awful for laughing, but I honestly didn’t know how to react to this sudden confession. “Please, marry me,” he looked at me. Again, I felt awful for laughing, but I was in an incredibly awkward spot.

“You can’t possibly be in love with me. You hardly know me,” I scoffed and shook my head, “Halfwit. You even told me-”

“I know what I told you,” He cut me off. I looked at him and sighed deeply. “Please,”

“I must go,” I answered his question with that. I turned to leave the room, forever pleased that he didn’t follow behind me this time. Tears rolled down my cheeks as I left, and I hated that I was crying.

{***}{***}{***}

“Caller for you,” the butler spoke once he entered the room. I sat up in bed and looked at him. I pointed at myself, staring at him with wide eyes. “Yes, Miss.,” I looked over at my mother, then at my siblings around me.

“Well, send him in!” Mother shouted as she practically jumped from her seat. She rushed to stand in front of me.

“I wasn’t expecting anyone,” I looked at mother as she pulled me to my feet. She smiled as she pushed my hair away from my face.

“This is the best thing to happen to you… To us, your sisters,” she whispered as she licked her thumb and rubbed it on my chin. I pulled my face away from her hands and looked at her. “The whole family!”

“Who could it be,” the youngest of my sisters asked as she bounced to stand beside me. I looked down at her and shrugged once mother stepped away from me. I let out a breath of air that I didn’t realize I was holding.

“No idea. The only person I’ve been talking to is Jennifer,” I looked down at my sister. She looked back at me and smiled.

“What about that Mister Reid gentleman?” Mother asked, “He does seem lovely, Dear, I don’t quite understand your hatred towards the man,” she continued on with her love for him. And almost as on cue, Spencer Reid entered the room, his hat in hand. It left me speechless. I’d rather be speechless than have to explain my reasoning to her, again.

I’m not sure how long it’d last been since I saw him. But, I can say that it wasn’t a pleasant interaction. It was cold and bitter. It was after his sudden proposal. No one knew about it, but we were forced to interact at the last event. No one even questioned why we were so bitter towards each other, they all just assumed it was the usual way we acted towards each other. Which was partly true. No, it was because he proposed to me, and I didn’t give him an answer.

“Afternoon,” he looked around at each of the women, and men, in the room before finally looking at me. Keeping his eyes on me the longest. I swallowed roughly before curtsying.

“Mister Reid, what an unexpected visit,” Mother rushed over to him and bowed slightly. Yes, what a very unexpected visit, Mister Reid. I wished I’d known you would be visiting so I could lie and say I would be out of town.

“Ah, yes, I apologize for that,” he looked at mother and smiled nervously. Nervous? What would he have to be nervous about? “Might I have a word… In private,” He was looking right at me. I froze as I looked at him. He was waiting for my answer. Words couldn’t find their way to my mouth, thus leaving me without an answer.

“Of course you can! Come along, let’s give Mister Reid and your sister a moment,” Mother looked at my siblings before ushering them out. I anxiously watched as they all left the room, leaving me alone in the room with Spencer. I silently pleaded with my youngest older sister to stay, but it was an obvious fail when mother pulled her out behind her.

“It was rather unexpected for you to stop by, Spencer,” I let out a dry laugh, “Especially after our first and last interaction,” I folded my hands in front of my body. Spencer took a cautious step closer to me.

“And that was my fault. I regret it all,” he whispered and shook his head, “I was… I was arrogant, selfish… I don’t know what I was thinking. But, I do know now, that I missed the biggest chance to get married to the most beautiful, selfless, mindful woman I know… And I regret that more than anything in my entire life,” he whispered before lowering himself to one knee. I stared down at him with wide eyes, feeling a certain sickness rise in my throat and stomach. “Marry me,

“No,” was all I said. It was the only word that I suddenly knew. Spencer looked shocked, displeased, with my answer. “My answer is still the same, Spencer."

“We’d both be lying to ourselves, and each other, if you denied my proposal,” he looked at me as he spoke with a low tone. My eyes were wide open as I stared at him, and my silence was nearly deafening. He wasn’t lying, either. We both knew our true feelings for one another now, now that he’s read my diary and he’s proposed to me. We were both in love with each other, and we can’t lie about it now.

“What’s that supposed to mean,” I asked, already knowing the answer to my ridiculous question. Spencer dryly laughed and shook his head.

“You know what that means,” he stepped closer to me, “I haven’t been able to get you out of my head, it’s rendered me useless. I’ve become so infatuated with you that… I’m unable to live a normal life without you by my side… Please” he shook his head and looked down at the ground. I took a shaky breath. “Please, accept my hand in marriage,”

I watched as he knelt to the ground, holding himself up on one knee. I could tell he wanted to hold both my hands. But, my body wouldn’t let me move or react even. Maybe that the paralysis I was feeling was a reaction within itself.

Mother’s words ran through my head. This is the best thing to happen to me, my sisters, and my whole family. Jennifer's urging for us to dance, and setting us up in her manor. And then suddenly the thoughts and memories of our interactions. I did have a valid reasoning for my hatred towards him. But to be fair, you don’t just call someone a halfwit for the joy of it. Of course, he did say he thought that way of himself, after he said it all to me.

It’s honestly all too late now. We both already knew how we feel towards one another as well. But, can I really picture myself spending the rest of my life with someone as stuck up and arrogant as Spencer Reid? He’s already proven that he isn’t as stuck up as I thought, while we danced, and while we were at Jennifer’s manor. Time was moving quick, I’m not sure how long I’d been silently staring at him, but I knew it was a long time.

“Promise me something,” I spoke, my mouth having a mind of its own. I stared down at him with wide eyes. His eyes looking up at me, sometime over the last several silent minutes, he finally had a gentle grasp on my hands.

“Anything… Anything for you,”

“You call yourself a halfwit too,” I smiled at him. Spencer looked up at me, the same smile growing on his lips as he stood.

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dramaqueeenamby · 3 years

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Waves: Quarantine

A/N: It's been way too long since I've done something for the Wavesverse, and I apologize deeply. I have a few requests related to this series to complete, but I couldn't knock this idea.

Words: 4K

Warnings: None

Tags: @babe-im-bi @notacamelthatsmywife @missyperle @queenoftheworldisdead @tashawar @valkryienymph @letsshamelessqueen-m @hello-therree @mani-lifes @liquorlaughslove @toni9 @koko-michelle @theequeenofcurses @taylortheeshowpony

Waves

Summer placed her phone inside of the mount and made sure that it was secured before she sat back in her bed, getting comfortable with the mass of pillows supporting her back, and smiling tentatively. “Hi, guys.”

Summer!

Someone tell me this isn’t a joke???? Please???

She lives!

Sis, blink twice if you need help.

Summer rolled her eyes. “Ya’ll better stop. I know it’s been a minute since I’ve hopped on live, but it hasn’t been that damn long.”

Summer continued to read the comments where more than a few people pointed out she hadn’t gone live on Instagram in over three months. Her mouth dropped. “Ya’ll lying. It has not been almost six months, has it?” She placed her hand over her mouth when people started dropping dates in the comments. “Okay, I stand corrected. Damn, I’m sorry, guys.”

Don’t be sorry, bestie. Do better!

Damn, ya’ll are so entitled. Celebrities have lives too.

What life? We all been in quarantine.

Rich people quarantine be different from us poor folks, I guess.

“So that’s actually one of the things I wanted to talk about.” Summer cleared her throat. “And I’m going to try really hard to make sure I word what I want to say as clear and as effective as I can, but I know this is still going to end up as a salacious headline. So, it is what it is.”

Oooh, Summer about to drop some tea.

I don’t see her wedding ring, ya’ll…..

I’m scared omg.

Watch this be nothing but a role announcement.

She shrugged and took a deep breath. “Okay, so a few days ago, I did the Buss It challenge, after being harassed by Sanda. And can I just say that filming was a challenge in and of itself? Not necessarily the movements but preparing? I’ve got two kids, twins, who are like the Tasmanian devil. I was literally up at 3 something in the morning trying to record it because my wild children won’t let me be great.” She chuckled. “Kids are something else.”

Summer truly jumped through hoops and was a damn near acrobat trying to figure out when she could not only get herself done up but actually record the challenge. Being the perfectionist that she was didn’t help, but the fact that she couldn’t recall the last time she’d put on makeup and dressed up was a whole other fiasco.

Quarantine definitely brought out her bum side.

“All of that aside, I truly was satisfied and happy with the final product when I posted it. In hindsight, I should have just left it that, but I wake up every day and choose chaos, so I decided to read the comments.” She blew out a breath. “One of the most frequent comments and really, insults, I’ve received my whole career. Primarily, since I was cast as Storm, revolves around how I look. I.e., my weight. I’ve been called fat, obese, out of shape, and so many other things.”

It was 100% true. The minute Marvel announced that she’d been chosen to play Storm, the racists came all out of the woodworks. She was too short, too chubby, too dark, too black. And Summer didn’t care, not a bit.

“Even,—and I’ll tell you guys this, when I first started my SS training, that’s what I call it, SS for Storm Shape, there was a—person who worked for Marvel at the time who came to visit me while I was training.” She smiled thinking back on that day. She could still recall it so clearly. “He basically was pissed because to him, I still looked the same, fat and out of shape.” She adjusted her top and shifted in her bed. “That same day, I deadlifted and bench-pressed over 200lbs” She paused for effect. “What I need for people to stop doing is stop fucking projecting—and I’m going to cuss in this, so if you don’t like it, oh well. I work for Disney, but I’m a grown ass woman, and I’m going to say what I want.”

I am screaming. Summer said we getting alll the tea today!

So, it’s wrong to point out that someone is physically unhealthy now, cool?

The problem is that no one wants to see a fat superhero. It’s not realistic.

^^^^ Tell me you have a small dick without actually telling me you have a small dick.

“I saw Lizzo, whom I adore, post a Tik Tok where she basically said that she workouts to have the body she wants not what ya’ll want, and honestly? Same. She said that her body type is no one’s fucking business, and that’s so true. Ya’ll love to hop on this internet and pick apart people you don’t even know and criticize bodies you don’t even have to live in and move around with. And for what?” She shook her head, slamming her fist into her open palm as she spoke. She was fully invested now. “I know we in quarantine, but damn, pick another hobby cause being a bully is not it, sweetie.”

I really needed to hear this today.

Using Lizzo as a point of reference makes everything you’re saying null and void. Lizzo is clearly overweight and at risk for diabetes, heart disease, just to name a few…..

I been saying this! You can’t look at a person and say they’re unhealthy.

Bodies come in so many forms, and all are beautiful.

“Now, I bring all this up because a lot of people were commenting on my Buss It challenge and pointing out the fact that I’ve gained weight, and guess fucking what? I have, and you know what else?” She leaned over to whisper while covering her mouth with her hands for focused effect. “I don’t care.”

Summer laughed and shook her head. “As others have pointed out as well, yes, we have a gym in our house. I 1000% acknowledge the fact that having the resources that I do as a celebrity and someone who has money puts me in a different category. Hell, my husband has a whole fitness app. I recognize that. If I wanted to keep up with my workouts, emphasis on wanted, I could have. I own up to that, but I just didn’t feel like it, and that’s okay. What’s not okay is to send and leave mean messages calling me all kinds of names.”

Summer had thick skin. She always had. Growing up with her family, who always ensured to feed her self esteem and make sure she knew that she was beautiful, definitely paid off. It was just a combination of quarantine and not having a lot of opportunities to keep herself busy with work that had her feeling some type of way.

“And that’s something else I wanted to bring up.” She blew out another breath and tried to gather her emotions. This was the subject she was almost certain she’d grow teary eyed discussing. “I love my husband to death. My children are everything. Christopher’s family is like my own, but— I haven’t seen my family, like my mom, grandma, brothers, etc in almost a year.” She paused, dwelling on that. Almost an entire year since she’d been able to physically hug and interact with the people who made her who she was. “And I’ve always made it clear how much I fucking love my family. I live in Australia. I can’t do a drive by with grandma so I and my kids can at least see her on the doorstep.” She quieted again, eyes darting off as she quietly cursed. “I’m trying really hard not to cry right now.”

Please don’t cry, bestie.

This is the side of quarantine that people don’t talk about enough.

Has this woman never heard of FaceTime????

I feel her pain. I live in Europe, and my family is in the states. This quarantine has been brutal.

My grandma died from COVID, and I couldn’t even go to the funeral. Summer is bringing up a good point.

“Damn,” Summer chuckled bitterly and wiped at the tears that fell. “I’m okay, I promise. I just bring this up because quarantine has also been very hard for me in that aspect. At certain points, I’ve been down, I’ve been in my head a lot, and I just was not, for the most part, in a space where I felt like I had to keep up my fitness regimen. And that’s okay. I put my mental wellbeing ahead of making sure my body is socially acceptable. Sue me.”

I really appreciate her honesty.

Summer never goes beyond surface level in interviews, so seeing her this vulnerable is really surprising.

Are we supposed to feel bad for her? She’s rich. She can afford whatever help she needed.

These comments are not passing the vibe check.

Ya’ll are all mental health advocates, but when a black woman is opening up about her struggle, it’s discarded?

“And let me make this clear too, I have an amazing husband who is so patient and so kind. He’s one of the best people I can go to when my anxiety hits, so I don’t want this to come across as me complaining that I’ve been alone. I have him and our children. I just miss the rest of my family. That’s all.” She dried her eyes and started to read the comments, unsurprised by the mixed reaction. She expected as such and was unaffected. At least until she saw one comment.

@ChrisEvans: ❤️❤️❤️

“Evans!” Summer wasn’t expecting to see his name pop up. It’d been such a task convincing him to join IG, let alone teaching him how to operate it. “Let’s go live.”

Not my husband and wife in my head about to go live!!!!

Imagine being able to call Chris Evans your best friend

I still say they smashed idc

It’s Christopher Jamal Evans hopping on this live for me.

^^^ I’m so sick of y’all with that shit.

“Let me try to add him,” Summer spoke to herself, scrolling through the comments to find his so she could request him. “Alright, I requested him. Let’s see if he answers.”

She wondered if she should have sent him a text asking if he was available when he appeared on her screen, effectively splitting it with her on the top and him on the bottom.

“Punk.”

“Kid.”

Summer smiled and greeted, “Hi, best friend.”

He chuckled. “How you doing, Summer?”

“Clearly not as good as the people watching,” she chimed. Summer saw nothing but heart eyes and hearts in the comments. “These people really love you. You truly are a manipulative bastard. He’s an asshole, guys.”

“Don’t be jealous, Summer. It’s so unbecoming of you.”

“You can go to hell.”

“Language,” he playfully reprimanded. “Where are the kids?”

“At preschool. Things are finally starting to open back up over here. Thank God.” She clasped her hands together. “Y’all, please wear masks. Don’t be Karen’s.”

Chris laughed, grabbing his chest. “We’re getting there, Summer.”

“The lies you tell,” she countered. “Don’t A Starting Point, me. Ya’ll are far from getting there, and I’m tired of it. I wanna see my family.”

He sighed. “I know, but how are you feeling today?”

“I got rid of the kids, so that’s definitely a weight lifted,” she answered honestly, laughing when she saw judgmental comments in the chat. “Listen, if you’re a parent, you know where I’m coming from. You love your kids, but my god, sometimes you just need some space.”

“As soon as this all blows over, I told you to send em’ by me for a couple of weeks.”

“Best friend, I already purchased their tickets.” He laughed. “As soon as I get the green light, they are all yours. Feel free to keep them.”

“You guys see how she is?” He pointed to Summer, leaning and squinting to read what was being said. “I do love kids, especially the twins, they’re amazing.”

“He is really really great with them, guys,” Summer added. “One thing about Evans, he’s patient as hell and really, just a big kid. Why do you think him and Christopher get along so well? 40 going on 4.”

“I resent that.”

“Is it a lie though?”

He hesitated. “No.” They both laughed.

I’m loving the dynamic between these two so much.

Is it just me or are they flirting with each other…..

Ain’t nothing inappropriate about this conversation. Ya’ll are reaching…

Ya’ll remember that blind item that came out years ago alleging Chris (Evans) was the biological father of the twins? Hmm…..

^^^^^This kind of bullshit is the reason we’re in a global pandemic.

As always, Summer and Evans ignored any foolery that was being dropped in the comments when she caught a comment that didn’t contain some ridiculous rumor.

“Yes, it is true that Evans and Christopher weren’t allowed to do press together anymore. Ya’ll, they literally could not stay serious for more than a minute. I felt so bad for the poor interviewers.”

“Hey, we were not that bad,” Evans protested, his Boston accent more prominent.

She gasped. “You guys were terrible, Evans, and you know it. I was so mad when they put me with ya’ll those few times. I could barely hear the interviewers over your laughing and stupid commentary that literally no one asked for.”

“We did not.”

“There’s deadass video proof, Evans.”

“Fake news.”

She opened her mouth but caught herself. “I was about to say something.”

He laughed and asked, “Do you remember how we all got drunk before the Infinity War premiere?”

“No, ya’ll got drunk. I was big and pregnant, remember?”

“No,” he dismissed. “You were drinking with us.”

“Evans, how was I drinking when I was pregnant?” She challenged and reminded. “I got drunk with ya’ll for the Endgame premiere, not Infinity War.”

“That’s right,” he remembered and chuckled. “You think we’ll get in trouble for saying this?”

She shrugged with one shoulder. “You’re dead, Christopher never gets in trouble for anything, and I do what I want. I think we’re good.”

Kevin Feige watching this live right now like 🥴🥴🥴🥴

I never realized how arrogant she is……

LMAO. Not the whole cast showing up drunk to the biggest premiere of their lives.

Chris Evans is too damn fine to be approaching 40 and still single.

Their friendship is so goals omg

@ChrisHemsworth: Snitches

Summer’s jaw dropped as she caught the last comment, swiping up to click the name and make sure that she was reading correctly. “Christopher, what the hell are you doing on my live?”

Evans brows furrowed. “Hemmy is here? Shouldn’t he be working?”

“That’s what I want to know,” Summer supplied. “And how long have you been watching?”

@ChrisHemsworth: Long enough.

She smiled nervously and looked off to the side. “I feel weird now. I don’t like when he watches my lives.”

“Aren’t you guys married?”

“Aren’t you supposed to be shutting the fuck up?”

Evans lifted his hands in a defensive manner. “Touchy subject, I see.” They shared another laugh as he cleared his throat. “Why don’t you add him now? I’m supposed to be helping Scott cook.”

“My favorite Evans,” she gushed and furrowed her brows. “You, cooking? Since when?”

“Get out of here.” He waved her off and reminded. “I’m not the one who constantly causes near fires when in the kitchen.”

“So, you really just putting all my business out there like that?”

“Summer, it’s not secret to anyone that you can’t cook for shit.”

“Wow, it really be your own best friends.”

He chuckled. “Love you, kid.”

“Love you too, punk,” she blew a kiss. “I’ll text ya’ later.”

“Alright.” He smiled for the camera. “Thanks for having me everyone.”

“Yeah, yeah, yeah,” she said jokingly. Evans and Summer said goodbye one last time before he left the live. She blew out a breath and ran her hand through her hair. “Baby, comment something so I can add you. It’s too many comments to wade through.”

Summer adjusted her phone and checked the time on the clock on the wall. It’d been a while since the kids were away at school, and she didn’t want to get so caught up that she was late picking them up.

@ChrisHemsworth: I can’t. I’m too drunk.

Summer released a mixture of a laugh and a snort reading his comment. “You are so damn petty.” She clicked his name and adjusted her outfit while waiting for him to answer. She almost cursed when it seemed like he wasn’t going to join, only for her to smile when his face appeared on her screen.

“Hi,” she greeted in a soft voice with a small smile.

“Hello, Sandcastle.”

“Did you just—I swear to god, it’s always something with you.” Summer rubbed her temples and shook her head. Christopher smiled in response. “Why aren’t you working?”

“I am.”

“You are?”

“Yes.”

“If you’re working, how are you talking to me?” She asked, sassily.

“Umm, a little thing called multitasking, ever heard of it?”

“Wow. You are an asshole.”

“That’s mean.”

“You’re mean.”

“Christopher, you are literally a child.”

“Does a child have muscles like this?” He flexed, and Summer stilled. Christopher stayed in ridiculous shape, but this was another level. He’d never been this massive, and she wasn’t too proud to admit that. Just not aloud.

She faked a yawn. “Am I supposed to be impressed?”

They really just be roasting each other all the time, and I’m here for it.

Summer must be legally blind because this man is stupid fine tf

It’s gotta be steroids. That’s not natural.

^^^^^He’s the god of thunder.

Summer rolled her eyes at the typical nature of the comments. These were the reasons she limited her time on social media and especially stayed away from reading the comments. Her attention was redirected to the top of her phone. It was a text from Christopher asking her to call him.

“But we’re—oh, I get it.” She realized he wanted to talk to her, not her and her tens of millions of followers. “Alright, guys, I’m gonna get off here so I can talk to my husband, alone.”

“She just doesn’t want to share me with you all, that’s all.”

“Don’t even start, Christopher,” she lectured while he laughed and got serious, for a minute tops.

“Hope you all are taking care and staying safe,” he spoke honestly. “And we’ll talk to you soon.”

Summer waved and smile. “Bye, guys. Remember to be kind.” Summer offered a final smile before ending the live. Closing up the app, she moved to open FaceTime and called up Christopher. He answered almost immediately. “You know I hate when you watch my Lives. Now, how much did you see?”

“Enough to know you’re coming to see me tonight.”

She laughed aloud. “Funny.”

“I’m serious, Summer.” Focusing on him, she realized that there was no humor in his voice nor his expression. Summer also noticed that he didn’t have the Thor wig on yet, which was probably why he was able to go live with her. He was waiting to get into hair and makeup. “Leave the kids with Liam. It’s not like he’s doing anything.”

“Christopher!”

“What? Is he not a professional unemployed bastard.”

Summer’s smile remained as she shook her head. “You are so mean.”

“I’ll handle the flight arrangements. You, my beautiful wife, just make sure you get on the jet so I can handle you.”

“Christopher, you’re working. People with everyday jobs don’t just up and show up to their spouses workplace because they miss them or need a break from the kids. That’s how folks get fired.”

Christopher started to move around, walking somewhere, she realized. “What are you doing?”

“Hey, Tike.”

Summer’s eyes widened slightly. “Christoper!”

“Sup, man?” Taika asked casually, as Summer laughed again. Taika Waititi was such a character.

“You mind if Summer comes up for a few days?”

“Sure, man,” he replied almost right away. “Bring the kids and chickens too.”

“I am not bringing those damn chickens,” she immediately protested.

Christopher made a sound. “Ha, so you are coming!”

“I didn’t say that.”

Taika joined Christopher so that he was in camera. “Hey, Summer, why don’t you come on join? You can have a cameo. Chickens, too.”

She rubbed her temples. Taika’s and Chris’s friendship would never not make sense to her. They were cut from the same cloth. “One, hey. Two, I was already in Ragnarok. I’m good on the cameos. Three, what is with ya’ll and those creepy looking chickens?”

“Whoa, creepy? What did the chickens ever do?”

“Exist,” Summer answered dryly. She still hadn’t forgiven Evans and Christopher for convincing her to let the kids keep those damn things. Her home was becoming more and more of a farm with each animal that joined the household.

“Tough crowd, that one, ehh?”

“Always,” Christopher agreed.

“I can hear you both,” she reminded and groaned loudly. Summer would love to spend a few days away from the kids. Chris would be working, yes, but she’d at least get some time for herself. Even better, alone adult time with her husband. That had also been a bit tricky during quarantine because of her rambunctious twins. Still, she disliked using her status as a celebrity to gain things, and this would definitely be a case of using status for pull. “I don’t know….”

Deep in her thoughts, she hadn’t realized that Chris had walked away and returned to wherever he was prior to finding Taika, most likely his trailer.

“What if you only stayed a night?” Chris tried to bargain. “The flight is only an hour and a half. That will give you more than enough time to come here, let me fix you dinner, run you a nice bath, maybe get in the good ole’ horizontal tango—”

“You know I hate when you call it that,” she reminded quietly, admitting. “That does sound nice, though.”

“Or, I can come to you—“

“Absolutely not. Christopher, you’re already doing so much back and forth as it is.” One of the good things to come out of quarantine, to Summer at least, was that it forced many people to take a much needed break. Her husband was one of those people. Christopher had been working nonstop since she met him. Project after project, film after film, many of them Marvel films, which put a whole other layer of difficulty what with the strenuous physical requirements. Even now as he shot Thor 4, he was in the best shape he’d ever been, muscles nearly tearing the cotton of his clothes. He looked amazing, but it was what they couldn’t see that she was starting to grow a little concerned over. Christopher wasn’t as young as he once was. He had to slow down, eventually.

Summer realized this would be a perfect chance to have a conversation about just that with him, which all but led her to her final decision.

“Alright,” she conceded, finger up as she made her demands. “Three days, and I stay at the house while you shoot. We may be returning to normal, but we’re still in a pandemic. I won’t go around anyone except you.”

“So I get you all to myself? Hardly consider that a stipulation.”

“And…we talk.”

“After the horizontal tango—“

“I swear to God, if you don’t stop calling it that—“

“What was that, sweetheart? I wasn’t listening.” She saw that he had paused the screen, causing Summer to remember that she hadn’t even consulted with the babysitter. “Making flight arrangements for you.”

“Shit, let me text Liam and make sure he’s available.”

“He gets reception in the box?”

“Christopher! For the last time, your brother is not living in a box.”

“Do you know that for certain?”

“Goodbye, Christopher,” she prepared to end the call before smiling softly. “I love you, Christopher, and thank you.”

He winked. “I’ll always do anything for you, Summer. Anything.” A beat. “Don’t forget to leave the clothes. You won’t need them.”

“Christopher!”

#chris hemsworth x black!oc #chris hemsworth x black!reader #chris hemsworth fanfic #chris hemsworth fandom #chris hemsworth fanfiction #fic: waves

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winterandwords · 2 years

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It looks like my brain is taking some time off doing things with words. This honestly almost never happens. I'm ✨obsessive✨ about writing to the point where it often sometimes becomes A Problem™

So, this used to drive me crazy with frustration. I'm a very push-through-it kind of person. This is also A Problem™ and one that I'm actively working on for reasons of physical and mental health. Before, I would admonish myself for not trying hard enough, force myself to do the thing, be utterly miserable, and ultimately end up despising every fucking word I wrote when my mind and my heart weren't in it.

Now I'm trying this new thing where I don't do that and I think about how I got here. I've been working on Project Frequency non-stop for a while, even though I didn't fully intend to get stuck into it just yet. I published a short fiction collection on my website. I finished the last revision on Project Storm way sooner than planned after it came back from my editing folks (still needs proofread, but sooooooon!).

Within the last few weeks, I also started creating regular writing-related content for Instagram, which has included making artsy fartsy microfiction videos where I read things with my own fucking voice OMG. This is legit one of my favourite forms of creative expression right now and I'm learning so much. I gathered three years' worth of microfiction into categories for future posts. And I completely overhauled my entire website.

My mental health has been not amazing. OK, that's a massive understatement. My mental health has been an explosive catastrophic disaster because of stuff relating to serious trauma that I don't want to talk about here. I fell apart in a full-on breakdown kind of way, which is not something I do very often because I live in a perpetual state of denial and dissociation and like to pretend I don't because it makes me feel like I've got my shit together better than I really do.

I contacted a trauma support centre that specialises in the very specific context of my trauma. I realised I wasn't ready to go through that whole process yet and cancelled the initial outreach assessment. Then I felt like a weak piece of shit and hated myself a bit. Then my close family and a very good friend helped me understand that this was an act of self-care and boundary setting and sometimes first steps have to be taken a number of times. So it's OK. Sort of. And I'm doing way better at dealing with the mess in my head with the support of people who love me. And I'm extremely lucky to have those people.

My chronic illness/disability stuff has been a pile of fuckery too, but the more manageable kind of fuckery. Except I've been really struggling with mobility aids lately because I'm basically going in cycles of fucking up my lower body by not using them, then fucking up my upper body by using them. So I found a truly epic rollator/wheelchair hybrid (swear to god, this thing is cyberpunk AF) that is everything I need and actually possible for me to operate even when my stupid hands are being stupid, and now we're trying to work out how to afford it and hopefully I'll be able to get it within the next few months.

Now that I type all that out, I'm not quite so much like "Why am I not feeling creative right now? It's a mystery!" I am burned the fuck out and profoundly exhausted on every level. And I'm doing that new thing I mentioned at the top of this post. I'm accepting it. And I'm letting myself rest. And I think it's good.

Anyway, I just wanted to check in and say hi and I miss you all and I'm still lurking even if I'm not posting as much. Love love love. PS. Sorry if I've missed any tags lately. Please keep tagging me. I don't usually suck this bad at keeping up <3

#the shit in my head #chronic illness #disability #mental health #writeblr #writeblr community #writer #writers #writers of tumblr #writers on tumblr #tumblr writers #writers community #writing #am writing #writing community

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djarrex · 3 years

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Hi everyone, just wanted to address what happened last night along with some other things from before that all tie in together.

There’s multiple parts to the following post - please make sure you read all of it if you’re gonna take the time to even start.

It was midnight and y'all were still jumping in on anon and telling me how I'm awful for not commenting, owning up, or taking responsibility - I should have been in bed. I have a life and job outside this app; and with the several of you in my inbox and it being too late at night to address each, I’m gonna do it now. I can’t not say something about all of this. I just can’t keep quiet and ignore the problem - it’s not fair to you all. Deleting one post already has you guys even more riled up and all I wanted to do was offer something better than a “half-hearted apology” (it was very late at night when I wrote that very short apology, and wanted a redo tbh).

I really didn't want to make a long post like this. I reached out to a select few on here because I care about them (there's more of you, but like I said, it was at the time after midnight and I was fucking exhausted). but I was being demanded for accountability. So here I am.

Allow me to be real with you all, if that's ok. If it's not, well, idk. First I wanna address all you anons, who, instead of speaking to me one on one about all this, want to criticize me and shame me and my writing when truthfully it feels like you haven't even read more than a handful of my work. I didn’t realize that I write the clones all the same way? That I always make them super aggressive and uncaring and dom? “you write every single clone as so dominant instead as unique individual men with their own personalities” Interesting. See, that right there tells me you haven't read nearly enough of my stuff for me to believe that's true. That's one accusation I absolutely will not back you on because I know it’s inaccurate - saying how I group the clones into some overly-aggressive, and uncaring category - that I always write all of them as mean in bed because they're men of color. And hey, if I do write rough smut - which yeah, it's out there and I write it, as do a lot of you - there are warnings at the beginning, aftercare, dialogue, reader sharing their feelings, and most importantly... consent between the two. That’s what warnings are for, so that you know what you’re going to be reading. That’s why I, as we all do, appreciate warnings listed at the tops of fics; honestly, write them sub or dom or switch or however you want but don’t come at me like that. I’m sorry if I'm coming across as rude because I'm usually not, I’m one of the nicest people you’ll meet, but I will not stand idly by while you chastise my writing (writing that is pretty much the same type of stuff a lot of you write & rb with the same characters) that you haven’t read enough of to back such claims.

Next: Sincerely, from the bottom of my heart,

I get it. Really, I do. I fully understand the problem of whitewashing in SW along with almost everywhere else, and I do not agree with it. It's a huge problem, and it needs to be rectified. Now just because I don't speak publicly about it and opt out of publicly shaming TBB, doesn't mean that I agree with what’s going on. Not everyone is comfortable with sharing their opinions on a subject, no matter what that subject is or which side they're on. You live and you learn when it comes to that.

It has never been my intention to fetishize POC in my writing, which btw, the same people who are saying that it is my intention are the ones claiming I portray all of the clones as the same, aggressive men, lacking their individuality. It’s a claim that is simply not true, and I know I have followers on here to back me up on that. I know what I've written; how about you check it out and tell me that you don't see the words "soft" or "fluff" or "cuddling" or “gentle” or “tender” within my work linked in my ML. Clone character being a good partner and father? Tender love making? Holding each others faces in their hands? “We/you survived” sex? Taking care of their partner? Saying “I love you” to one another? Confirming the safe word and going slow at first? Oh my - riveting and harsh stuff - totally unacceptable.

Now: My admittedly problematic writings of Rex + Zygerria,

I went into writing that rp fic totally unaware and unknowing of the true implications. For that, I sincerely apologize. When I posted the NSFW alphabet, that’s when I was called out on that rp fic - not when I first posted it. Which the timeline doesn’t matter, I know that, but it concerns me a little bit that no one spoke up about it sooner - letting me dig myself deeper into a hole that I didn’t realize I was inside of in the first place. I've apologized once, and I know that doesn't negate what happened; I acknowledged my mistake back then, but I suppose that wasn’t good enough. I had asked you, anon, to message me to give me guidance, to teach me on what to do about the fic - you stayed hidden. Well, respectfully, what the fuck? I know we're all adults but don't lecture me and avoid me when I’d literally reached out for guidance on how to properly rectify the issue. I fixed my wording in some of my fics (the things I’ve caught upon rereading them) because I recognized and more importantly learned about and from my mistakes along with the unintentional negative implications of how I wrote those characters. Some of y'all wanna tell me that I "haven't learned"? Who are you, my personal blog police? My professor? My life coach? Are you even my friend? If I'm wrong and haven't learned, then fucking educate me. I worked hard on that rp fic, just like I do with a majority of what I write, but it doesn’t matter because I will delete it knowing that it’s harmful to others and I apologize for inadvertently romanticizing slavery with what I wrote - it was unintentional, and I’m truly sorry to those who have been hurt by it. I know it’s wrong, and there’s no proper excuse for it. Can’t go back in time, but consider it gone now.

Since that first wakeup call, I’ve been working hard to ensure I avoid using certain words and ideas when describing the clones in my fics. If there’s still something you see that isn’t correct or is inappropriate, please tell me! Don’t hold it in but then jump on the “attack M” bandwagon. Private message me, or come peacefully off or on anon, there will be no hard feelings. I don’t mind being corrected when I make a mistake - that’s just part of life, we all make mistakes and we live and learn from them. Making mistakes doesn’t = scumbag human. When you hold your breath and choose not to take the time to guide me, and if I appear to still be making the same mistakes, well, idk. I’m telling you right now that I do not mind if you message me with the good intention of pushing me in the right direction. When you come at me with hostility on anon, well, no thank you. To the anons that came without rage: thank you! I read what you wrote, and I have a better understanding as to how my writing had hurt the lovely followers of mine, and tried to address as much as possible in this post. See, angry mob anons? It costs zero credits to be kind and offer up your thoughts and advice with a good heart. I’m not going to hate you or block you if you try to correct me. I don’t block unless you’re a snoopin’ minor. Just don’t hold a knife to my throat.

Now: Why did I delete the tags and then my response to that anon ask?

Simply put: I felt awful. Deleting it doesn’t immediately mean I’m hiding from it and ignoring the issue. I wanted to come up with a better apology, explanation, whatever you wanna call it, because my followers deserve that. The ones who enjoy my work, the ones who interact, the ones who I call my friends, the ones who know that I’m a good person. Didn’t want to leave the tags/post floating around all night, giving more people time to sharpen their pitchforks and join the mob while I attempted to sleep. Trust me, I know saying that I had no ill intentions when tagging that post doesn’t make it better nor does it make it go away. I’m just trying to show you my point of view, that I knew immediately how I should not have tagged it that way, so that’s why I deleted them. I corrected my mistake. But y’all are too fucking quick I swear.

One more thing:

I know some of you who had called me out with the passive-aggressive inbox messages are still following me, and for what? You don’t like what I post, which is why one would follow another in the first place, so why bother sticking around? Do you feel like you need to police my blog? You want to be there the literal minute I make a mistake? I’m gonna turn off anon for a bit, so if you wanna discuss, message me. Just know that if you’re going to come at me with knives out, I probably won’t reply to you.

To conclude:

I’m sorry. Truly sorry for the entire Rex + Zygerria outfit + slaver ordeal with both the fic from a while ago and then the tags from last night. We can’t go back in time; the only option is to correct past mistakes that are able to be corrected, and then move on with new knowledge that’ll aid in me working even harder to ensure my writing isn’t inappropriate or offensive, and doesn’t hurt my followers nor the characters I write for. I’m still going to write self-indulgent filth and fluff, post-order 66 Rex, and other misc shit. I enjoy writing fanfic, as I know a lot of you enjoy reading what I write and love to talk to me about it. I hope that this didn’t come off as me being a bitch, because I’m really not. I enjoy interacting with the handful of people on here that I’d call my friends, and I love reading your reactions and tags to my fics when you’re excited and/or horny (LOL). It’s just after lunch time where I’m at, so I hope you have a great rest of the day/night/morning whatever for wherever you are.

#long post #m personal

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coffeesuperhero · 4 years

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leverage fic recs

So, I needed a better organizational system than my AO3 bookmarks (boy do I miss delicious!), so I’m just going to start a post for myself here and reblog it occasionally as I add to it. Most (all?) of these are OT3 fics, because I am who I am and I read what I read. If you want non-OT3 fic recs, I am not your person. Probably you have read these, but if you haven’t, what are you waiting for!

Gen:

01. The Fake Geek Boy Job, by shinealightonme. It’s casefic at a fan convention and Eliot has to cosplay. In spandex. Go read it and enjoy yourself, already.

Beautiful shippy fic (everyone is together/small moments/slice of life):

01. The Three Rings Job, by HugeAlienPie. Sophie POV. The OT3 at Nate and Sophie’s wedding, where Nate and Sophie are not aware that there is now an OT3. It’s soft. And so sweet you could serve it as dessert. And it has the best boat name for a Nate and Sophie boat in the world.

02. hacker/hitter/thief/home, by AtlantisRises. A collection of short OT3 fics that hit you just right in the feels, in the best way.

03. Nothing’s Exactly What We Need, by BabylonsFall. The OT3, on vacation.

Everybody is together and also there’s a con:

01. Covenants, Conditions, & Restrictions, by page_runner. We love a good long fic where the OT3 help an old lady and con an HOA, because HOA’s are the worst. This fic also gives me deeply hurt feelings about the team having to leave Portland, which I know in my heart is probably the Way of Things, but which I will never write myself because heartbreak. But this deals with that reality so beautifully, and it’s a good con, too.

Getting together OT3: 01. just want you close, by biblionerd07. Eliot-POV, post-rundown, man am I a sucker for Eliot-POV stories where Parker and Hardison just...love the hell out of him, and this is just a lovely, careful, sweet version of that.

02. international small arms traffic blues, by ftmsteverogers. Eliot POV, character study + get together fic. Makes you very sad for Eliot, and then happier for Eliot. And I’m a sucker for anytime someone has to call Sophie for advice.

03. So Come On, Avalanche, by elysiumwaits. It is Eliot POV snowed-in at a cabin OT3 getting together fic, so idk what more you need to know to read it.

04. Rings a Bell, by venilia. Eliot wakes up with amnesia and thinks he’s married to Hardison and also has a Parker, it’s silly and sweet.

05. The Thunderous Roll of a Tropical Sea (the moonlit memory I can’t seem to lose), by phnelt. **content notes: canon-typical violence + Mature! grown and sexy content ahoy!** I have classified this as a “getting together” story, because ultimately that is what happens, but it’s probably more like “eliot getting his shit together, and now they’re all together,” which is my favorite flavor of OT3 getting together fic, anyway. It starts out a little sad, because gasp! They were together but they split up!! But it has a happy ending. It also has fake marrieds, my favorite trope of all time. Eliot feeding Hardison strawberries and playing with his fake husband on a beach while Parker watches? Please.

06. Happy Meal, by @leiascully Listen, I admit that I am biased, because my wife wrote this for me, but it is this really hilarious flirting-over-the-comms-pre-OT3-sort-of-getting-together story, and I laughed, and it was great, so you should enjoy it, too.

07. Oklahoma’s Next Top Model, by Hedgehog-O-Brien (Roshwen). Hardison POV. This fic has the greatest tag of all time, which is: “Title not entirely accurate bc Eliot's clearly a bottom but who cares“ and I knew I was in good hands solely on that basis before I read a word of the fic. Tbh I put this in this “getting together” category because I feel like it’s heavily implied at the end that there’s a getting together situation happening, but like, that’s not why you read this fic. You read this fic for the ridiculously over the top OT3 photoshoot of your wildest dreams. You will laugh. You will be entertained. Enjoy!

08. Fifty Fake Dates, by calico_fiction. WIP, Hardison POV. nb: This hasn’t been updated in a minute but a) I too have WIPs that take a long-ass time between updates, if this updated in ten years I would still be excited to read it and b) the chapter that’s up is such a delight to me that I really think it’s worth a read even if this is all of this story the author wants to post. It’s a great Hardison POV with some delicious pining and fake Hardison/Eliot dating, which is my jam.

09. For Real, by BurningTea. It’s hard to do an accidental marriage in this canon, but this fic did that! Hardison’s technical expertise goes a bit awry and everybody has to have....a talk. About feelings.

Hurt/comfort:

01. Dig Deep, by BurningTea. Eliot has to dig his own grave and climb into it. It hurts a lot!!!! And then it’s comforting. So, exactly what it says on the tin. Good character observations and nicely written, hurts exactly right and comforts exactly right, too.

Hot (nsfw, 18+, Mature, grown and sexy content for grown and sexy adults):

01. Don’t Come Late, by @leiascully. It’s just...the OT3, having really hot sex. That’s it, that’s the review. (The writing is delightful and there’s like, funny stuff in with the sexy stuff, which is real life and always nice to see, you know?)

02. Take the Leap, by Penknife. Hardison POV, first time OT3 threesome/verbal domination. The characterization in this is just **chef’s kiss** perfection. Funny, and hot. My favorite combo.

03. The Post-Rundown Job, by DelektorskiChick. Eliot POV, demi-Parker, mostly Eliot/Hardison but Parker’s participating in her own way. I’m a sucker for some good sexy post-injury care and this is right after Rundown, so it checks that box big time.

04. In Sync, by monsoon_moon. Eliot POV, first time OT3some.

Character studies:

01. Dawning, by @darkfinch. Eliot POV, mind all the warnings. This (read with its sequel, a WIP linked below) is probably one of my favorite Leverage pieces in existence? It is just the most beautiful, dark, horrible look at Eliot-works-for-Moreau you could hope for, except that also there’s a sequel called Reverberate, and that is also perfect and intense and really digs into what’s happening in Eliot’s mind and life during s3 after Nate drops the “we’re going after Moreau” bombshell. Both of these stories are painfully perfect and believable and real and I love them with my whole heart. The story structure and writing on both of those pieces is just excellent and the characterization is pitch perfect, and along with the stress and trauma you really get some just fantastic character moments. Idky you’re reading my review instead of the story tbh go read that, thanks!

02. Ten Prides in Portland, by @leiascully. I put this as a character study because it is one? It’s about queer shit, and learning to be part of a community of queer people, and learning that you can be a mentor and a role model for other queer people even if you don’t have your own stuff figured out. I am extremely biased because this is my wife and I got to watch this story grow into existence every day, but I think it’s a really beautiful look at the queer community broadly, all the people who fit under the umbrella, and belonging. It’s sweet and funny and beautiful, and I really needed to feel like I was at Pride this year, and this helped.

03. Different, by @leiascully. Hardison POV. Honestly this just made me want to go find baby Hardison and hug him for a really long time.

04. The Twine and the Things We Bind, by @darkfinch. WIP, H/C, big on the H. Parker and Hardison taking care of an extremely fractious, extremely injured Eliot Spencer is my jam.com forever and this is all of that with beautiful characterization and writing. Also some of the best action scenes I’ve read in a while. I do not write action At All and this does it SO WELL.

05. A Kiss for Luck, by AlannaOfRoses. Parker POV. A good look into Parker’s thoughts on luck during the Rundown Job/feelsy flashbacks.

OC/Outsider POV:

01. Let’s Go Steal a Protege, by @innytoes. WIP. Gosh I adore this. It’s found family shenanigans from an outside-the-OT3 perspective. Jamie, the main POV OC (nonbinary rep!!), is a fucking delight of a human and their interactions with the super!married OT3 are all incredible. It is sweet and funny and sometimes sad but almost always in a happy tears kind of way, because it’s about finding a family. And there are so many genuine laugh-out-loud moments in this fic that I reread it a lot lately or think of it when I need something to lift my spirits. (There is a bit in chapter six with some thrift store purchases that I just absolutely lose my shit at every time.) I very badly want this story to just be canon tbh. Petition for that.

AU’s

01. The Out of This World Job (Or, Per Furtum Ad Astra), by pathera. It’s a job, but it’s IN SPACE. Parker, Hardison, & Eliot find a spaceship; shenanigans ensue. Beautifully in character, some poignant character moments, awesome writing, and just a really vivid world.

02. Plastic Pearls, by BabylonsFall. Kidfic! Various POV. Parker and Hardison move in across the hall from single-dad Eliot. I adore this, it is sweet and soft and everything you could hope for in a story where Eliot is raising a smol Molly.

#leverage #Team Leverage OT3 #fic rec #really gotta tag my shit better #RIP del.icio.us you were the best bookmark system

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wheelsup · 3 years

Note

this is a stupid question but… any tips on getting more notes on writing? i have a lot of ghost writers and honestly it’s frustrating

y’know bestie, i wish i had more tips because i need them as well 😔 but the few i follow are under the cut!

1. USE A KEEP READING CUT! when ppl see even a 500 word piece on their dash with no cut, they’re likely to scroll by and be annoyed. even if it’s GREAT writing. and if they read, they might not reblog because they don’t want a long piece on their dash and annoying their own followers. just use a cut!! it’s good for you and great for the readers

(if you’re on mobile, type “:readmore:” on a separate line and hit enter, but type it without the “”)

2. tag appropriately! if it’s spencer x reader, only tag things relating to that. don’t tag random characters and ships

3. maybe keep nice formatting? like check for spell errors, add in a nice summary at the top. oh, PLS specify the category at the top (fluff, angst, or smut). if i can’t verify something is NOT angst before i start, i most likely do not read it. a cute gif is always fun.

*and word count as well! i wanna know how much time i’m going to be investing before i start!

4. you could try engaging your current readers to let you know what content they like from you, if you’re looking to find out what is resonating with them. rb an ask game about fics or just flat out ask them on your own post!

5. if you have a taglist form, promote it on the bottom of your fics! have it easy so people can add themselves on and you can build a group of regular readers :)

i don’t think consistent posting is the most important thing (i’d be a hypocrite if i told u that lol), though the more content you put out the more you’ll see growth!

i hope this helps!! these are just the major things that came to mind, the rest is all algorithms and luck tbh. (the readmore cut is so important tho pls do it)

#ri’s inbox

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argylemnwrites · 3 years

Text

Fight or Flight - Chapter 14: Help

Pairing: Drake Walker x MC (Riley Liu)

Book: The Royal Heir (canon divergent from the end of book 2)

Word Count: ~4100

Rating: R (language, 30 diamond scene)

Summary: About three weeks since The Walker Absconding

Author’s Note: With my state surging so badly that the CDC had to come up with a new category for coronavirus monitoring, and my hospital group changing policy constantly, even the illusion of an update schedule is pretty much out the window at this point, so thank you to all of you who are still sticking with this series! I saw that in canon, our crew just now decided to go on the run, but my MC and Drake have been on the lam for a while at this point, hahaha, so thanks for going on this wild ride with them!

This series follows the Walkers, their friends, and Cordonia as a whole after they flee the country with their daughter during Barthelemy Beaumont’s attempted coup. To catch up on this series, check out it’s masterlist. (link can be found via my bio - sorry, Tumblr is once again not putting my posts with links in tag searches)

Olivia let out a sigh as the privacy divider in her town car finally finished closing, tipping her head back and tugging the pins out of her hair. “God, what a nightmare.”

Liam hummed in agreement. “Yes, I suppose it is.”

“Are you sure you don’t want to stay at the palace tonight? It might be good optics, keeping you in the thick of things since the social season just started.”

He shook his head as he shifted slightly next to her. “After Hana’s conversation with Kiara and all its revelations, we need to be able to discuss things openly. With everything that has already happened, I don’t trust my assigned quarters at the palace to not be bugged.”

All Olivia could do was let out a little shrug. She knew he had a point, but she was worried about his overall approach here. All the strategizing and discussing in the world wouldn’t matter if he didn’t maintain an image of strength and dependability. Trotting back to the seclusion of Lythikos consistently would absolutely weaken the perception others had of him.

“So, I think we can safely assume that Amalas knows about this alliance between Barthelemy and Auvernal. It would explain why she was so eager to strike a deal with us,” Liam continued, reaching up and loosening his tie as he stretched his neck.

“But why would Aurvernal agree to work with Barthelemy? He wasn’t exactly supportive of them when they were trying to force Drake and Riley to solidify the betrothal. Hell, he used that mess to argue against their suitability to raise Bridget.”

Liam frowned, his eyes dropping to his lap for just a moment. “The latter part of your statement I can see him spinning over the coming months. He can argue that he has met with neighboring leaders and struck more beneficial alliance terms than I was ever able to foster, making him better suited for the role of monarch. With the delay in the start of the social season, he’ll have plenty of time to sell it as believable.”

“We had to push Rashad to delay. Hana told us that we need to make sure-”

“-Kiara represents House Theron, I know. It’s just unfortunate the delay may also be desirable for Barthelemy’s camp as well as ours. It would be nice to catch a break for once.”

“Liam…”

He ignored her attempt at sympathy. “Oh well, that’s just the reality isn’t it? We need to figure out how Auvernal played into Landon’s decision. Have you been able to buy off any of their staff?”

Olivia shook her head. “Not yet. I have a couple of leads on a maid and a driver who might be loyal to you, though.”

“That’s something, I suppose. I guess we should probably try and gain some intelligence about the motives of Bradshaw and Isabella as well, shouldn’t we?” He sounded tired, his hands working to remove his cufflinks.

“Yeah, we definitely need to hit this from multiple angles, find out their goal and what they might have done to sway not only Landon, but Hakim and Adelaide. Barthelemy is absolutely going to challenge Bertrand for control of House Beaumont, so we need to gain at least two of those votes. Counting on keeping the Beaumont vote in our camp is just too… dicey at this point, don’t you think?”

Liam nodded, but didn’t seem to want to say anything, so Olivia just kept going. “Now, I think since it’ll be Kiara voting, and she’s been very willing to divulge things to Hana, that is probably our best bet. And I know I’ve been focusing on getting some dirt on Landon and Emmeline, but maybe Adelaide would be the easier pick up? She’s never had much interest in actual politics, so maybe if we had Maxwell just socialize with her repeatedly at the upcoming events, that might be enough? For whatever reason she’s always loved him.”

She glanced over, surprised to find Liam with his eyes closed, his head tipped back. Had he fallen asleep that quickly?

“Liam?” she hissed out.

“I’m still listening; I promise you I’m not asleep.”

“Do you have anything to add?”

He shook his head against the back of the seat without opening his eyes. “No, you seem to have things under control.”

“But, I was-”

“-I trust you, Olivia.”

His words should have been affirming and confidence boosting, but instead all she felt was fear. He should be more invested than this. He needed to be more invested than this. And honestly, she was sure he knew that fact. He would go through the motions of strategizing with her on a regular basis. But he always faded quickly, becoming distracted or introspective. He was ruminating instead of focusing and channeling that hurt and pain into something productive.

But that wasn’t going to stop tonight. It was very late, and the drive back to Lythikos was a long one. So, Olivia just let him rest, pulling out her burner phone and scanning for any news bulletins about the Walkers being found in Athens, letting out a small sigh of relief when she found none. It looked like Leo and Riley had managed to pull it off. Combine that with Hana’s intel, and she knew the night had been more successful than not. She just needed Liam to start to see things that way. Otherwise, the upcoming months were going to be even bleaker than anticipated.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Riley kept her head down as she shuffled past a man in the hallway. With two large duffels, it was a bit awkward, and she didn't want the man to remember anything about her other than the fact that it was a bit of a tight fit with all her luggage.

Once he was out of sight, she unlocked the door to their hotel room, opening it as narrowly as possible to slide into the room. She had barely closed and locked the door when she felt a pair of familiar strong arms engulfing her. She dropped the duffel bags to the ground and spun in his embrace, wrapping her arms around his back.

"You're back," Drake murmured into her hair. She could feel his chest rising and falling rapidly, his whole body practically trembling. "You were late, and I thought…"

"Leo was almost an hour late," she said, her voice somewhat muffled by his chest because of how closely he was holding her. "I wanted to text you, but-"

"No, you made the right call." They had decided early on to avoid using their new phones to contact each other if at all possible. That way, if one of them got picked up and taken into custody, the other wouldn't be instantly traceable. It meant a lot of anxiety and fear when they weren't together, though. "I just… I… I was worried that…" Drake kept trailing off, almost as if he was unable to say his fears out loud.

"I know, Drake. I know. But it's okay. It all went okay." She slid her hands up, tracing between his shoulder blades, running her fingers through his hair, trying to soothe both him and herself. To call tonight stressful was a mad understatement.

“Leo had our stuff?”

She nodded against his chest. “In his hotel room. I obviously didn’t take the time to dig through it all, but I saw toys, clothing, documents, money.”

Drake ran his hands through her hair, then loosened his hold on her enough to lean back and look her in the eyes. “Did anyone… were you...”

“I don’t think anyone noticed me, Drake.”

He let out a shuddering breath, and then he was kissing her. Not some gentle, tender peck, but hard and deep. Like he used to kiss her when they were alone. Before she turned their lives upside down.

She missed this. She knew it was stupid. They were wanted fugitives and barely getting by in a foreign country. They were hungry and stressed and sleep-deprived. On top of that, they shared one room with their soon-to-be 11 month old daughter, so they had no privacy. Their sex life was far from their most pressing concern.

But… she still missed it, that sense of shared connection and intimacy, and that encompassed more than just the sex. She honestly felt like his teammate or coworker more than his wife far too often. They just spent so much time on the practical, discussing next steps, trying to arrange logistics. Moments of shared laughter and warmth were few and far between these days. And sure, they didn't really have much to laugh about, but it was still a loss.

When she’d sat on his lap yesterday after dyeing her hair, it almost felt like a sliver of their old life and dynamic was back. She’d teased him, he’d held her close. But moments like that were just not the norm for them anymore. Most of the time, even any physical affection was more focused on comfort in light of something negative. Holding hands, hugs, that sort of thing seemed to only happen when their world felt like it was crumbling around them. It’s like they shared nothing but worry and fear most of the time.

There was also the fact that Drake hadn't opened up to her about his own emotions. She knew him. She knew that his fractured relationship with Liam must be weighing on him, that he must feel mad guilty about so many things. But he wasn't telling her anything. He hadn't kept things from her like this in years, and it honestly scared the shit out of her. At first, she thought he was just trying to shield her from his own pain. She knew that her initial panic had probably sent him into hyper-protective mode. But that was weeks ago. She was pretty sure she was holding it together better now. At the very least, she didn't think she was a walking mess anymore.

But Drake was definitely still keeping everything bottled up, and she had to wonder if that was in part because he didn't trust her. Whether it was because her initial panic had meant that she had not considered him enough or because he resented her decision to take Bridget out of Cordonia and away from their entire support system or because he couldn't help but see her as the reason he was named a traitor she had no idea. And maybe he was still just trying to shield her from his own worries and anxieties, but the fear was there that in her efforts to protect her kid, she was slowly losing her husband.

While Drake was off busting his ass to keep their family afloat, she'd had a lot of time to think, and she knew that wasn't helpful. When Bridget was awake, playing with her kept her mind off of those awful thoughts, but they kept creeping back in when she napped and slept. There was only so long that playing Dopey Cat could provide a distraction, after all. So instead she wondered endlessly if she had only been able to keep Bridget by her side at the cost of the foundation of her marriage.

For so many years, those fears of never mattering enough to someone else, of always ending up alone in the end had led her to keep relationships superficial. She’d avoided vulnerability, and therefore pain, at all costs. But then she came to Cordonia, and she had Drake, Hana, Maxwell, and Liam. She’d come to trust and feel and it was beyond anything younger her could have ever dreamed up. But now she’d ruined things with Liam, was disconnected from Hana and Maxwell, and it seemed all too likely she’d damaged things with Drake, too. All those people, who actually cared about her. She’d made a mess of the best parts of her life.

And maybe she was overreacting. Drake still clearly loved and cared about her. Worried about her constantly, in all honesty. But she also worried that he was gradually pulling away from her, that some day would creep up on them where all they would share would be concern for Bridget. But tonight, after all the stress and anxiety and fears of the evening, he was kissing her like he wanted her, like he loved her, and she couldn’t get enough of it.

She let out a pathetically needy moan, the sort of noise that would usually draw a smirk and some teasing from Drake. But tonight, he didn’t. Instead, he just surged forward with a groan of his own, driving her back into the wall and hooking his hands around her thighs, hoisting her up onto his waist before she could even process what was going on.

Riley clawed her fingers into his shoulders, dropping her head back against the wall as he moved his lips across her jaw. She began rocking her hips against him, tilting her head to the side as he worked his way down her neck, biting down lightly as he went. She tugged at his t-shirt, and after a few moments, he finally got the hint, sliding his hands out from under her thighs, letting her drop to the floor as he pulled off his shirt.

Deep down, Riley knew they had a lot they still needed to talk about and that doing this wasn’t going to fix the ache that had been growing in her heart, day by day. But she also knew that after weeks of stress and the horrible possibilities about tonight that had been running through both their minds, maybe this was just something they really needed. So she scrambled to tug off her shirt and jeans, kicking her sandals somewhere towards the door as Drake unbuckled his pants, and in almost no time they were both adding their underwear to the pile of clothing on the floor.

They were back on each other in an instant, hands grabbing and stroking, mouths everywhere. Riley felt her feet leaving the floor, so she wrapped her legs around Drake’s waist as he held her under her thighs, slamming her back against the wall. And then he was sinking into her, dropping his head to her shoulder to muffle the groan he let out as he did so.

It was all quick and frantic, both of them thrusting against each other wildly. She could sense that Drake was just as desperate as her. Desperate to feel something besides anxiety and guilt and pain. She knew she was going to have bruises from his fingers with how tightly he was clutching her thighs, but she didn’t care. Hell, she wondered how badly she was scratching his back. None of that mattered.

She hissed out his name as his lips latched back onto her neck. She knew this was going to be quick, so as she slid one hand up to his neck, tugging on his hair, she also dropped her other hand down between them, letting her fingers trace circles right above where they were joined. It didn't take long before she felt a warmth spreading out, down her legs and up her back, and then she was gone. Drake must have felt her climax, because he muttered "Fuck" into the skin of her neck, only driving into her a couple more times before she felt him spilling inside her. He slumped against the wall, his weight the only thing keeping her from sliding to the floor.

After a few moments, Drake let out a sigh, placing his hands back on her thighs and easing her down as he took a step back. “You okay?” he asked, his head slightly downturned.

Riley closed the newly-created gap between them, stepping forward and sliding a hand up to his cheek. “Drake, I’m fine. Are… are you okay?”

He nodded, tugging her into a gentle hug. “I just… I think I…”

“It’s okay, Drake. I get it.” She didn’t like that he still apparently couldn’t talk to her, but if he’d needed a minute of physical comfort and reprieve, well that was pretty fucking understandable. So she didn’t push him, just joined him in getting cleaned up and dressed in a t-shirt and underwear. While Drake washed the day’s clothes in the bathroom, she checked on Bridget, passed out in the travel crib Drake had picked up a few weeks back. They hadn’t used it to this point, and Riley wondered why Drake had dug it out of the car tonight. It had been safely tucked away with the tent, sleeping bags, and ground pad since he bought it.

“I thought we should probably start trying to get her used to it.” Drake’s voice cut through the room, startling Riley and answering the question she never got a chance to ask. “We are looking at months of being on the run. We need to start… I don’t know, making things… stable for her, I guess.”

“Makes sense,” said Riley, giving her daughter one last look before turning around to face Drake. “How did she handle bedtime?”

He grimaced and shook his head. “I think she was scared or upset because you weren’t here. She was basically inconsolable. I contemplated taking her on a drive just to calm her down. I kind of figured the night couldn’t get any worse, so I might as well try the crib. She screamed for about an hour before she wore herself out.”

Riley walked over and wrapped her arms around Drake. He struggled more with the sleep training than she did, even if he talked a way bigger game about letting Bridget “cry it out” in the light of day. “Well, she’s asleep now at least.”

Drake nodded, running a hand up and down her back. “You ready to go through the bags?”

She nodded and gave him a little smile, sitting down on the end of the bed as Drake grabbed the duffels and brought them over. They slowly worked their way through them, item by item. Hana had included so many useful things, from the practical, like clothes appropriate for a variety of types of weather and spare contact lenses and Riley’s glasses, to the unessential but truly missed, like Bridget’s stuffed corgi and Riley’s good hair brush. There was a lot of money in there, too. Thousands of Euros, which probably wouldn’t be enough to get them all the way until January, but at least made their situation a lot less dire. Their passports and birth certificates were tucked in there as well. For the first time, it felt like they might have some options when it came to their next steps.

After twenty minutes or so of sorting and unpacking, they reached the bottom of the bags. There were a handful of framed photos. Riley hadn’t mentioned any pictures as being something they wanted, so this must have been Hana’s idea. There were a couple that had been displayed in their bedroom and den. A candid Maxwell took on their wedding reception, Drake sitting down as Riley stood behind him, her arms looped over his shoulders, both of them looking at each other with stupid, cheesy grins on their faces. The two of them with Savannah, Bertrand, and Bartie taken down in Texas, the day before the wedding. A photo of the three of them that Hana had taken in the privacy of their home the day after the anointing with them in casual clothing, just curled up on the couch holding Bridget, a stark contrast from the pomp of the formal portrait for the history books and press release the day before. There were a couple of new ones, too. The corgis snuggled together on their massive cushion in the den. Hana and Maxwell grinning with arms thrown over each other's shoulders, clearly a selfie taken by Maxwell at a formal event. Liam and Olivia sitting on a couch at what appeared to be the Lythikos keep, Olivia with an eyebrow raised, Liam with a hollow-looking smile.

Riley glanced over at Drake, unsure how these photos would affect him. He just swallowed roughly before placing the stack of photos he was holding on the bed next to him. Riley leaned into him, resting her head against his shoulder. They were both silent for a few moments until Drake finally spoke.

“Was that everything?”

Riley shook her head. “No, there’s a letter. At least I assume that’s what it is. It’s an envelope with Hana’s writing.”

Drake didn’t say anything, so after a few seconds, Riley leaned forward, grabbing the envelope with “Riley & Drake” looped in beautiful cursive sitting at the bottom of one of the duffels. She slid her finger under the flap and pulled out a sheet of stationary with delicate pink and cream flowers in the corners. She held it between them so that Drake could read it at the same time.

Riley and Drake,

I hope that you and Bridget are all doing well and in as good of spirits as the circumstances will allow. I can only imagine how incredibly difficult this must be for you.

In these bags, I’ve included the items you mentioned as well as a few more toys for Bridget and pieces of clothing that I thought would be suitable for when the weather gets colder. I know it isn’t much, but hopefully this will make your lives just a little more comfortable.

I also sent some pictures I thought you might like to have, both old and new. Whenever things get tough, just remember that you have people who love you and want the best for you and your family.

While this is probably the furthest thing from your mind, I want to assure you that I am not taking my position as Duchess of Valtoria lightly. I am setting up citizen meetings for the upcoming weeks. Judging by the protests outside of the estate, you have a lot of support still here, and when this is all resolved, I will step down if you would like to rightfully reclaim your titles.

I love and miss you both, and tell Bridget that Aunt Hana misses her, too. Maxwell said I should include paw prints from Anderson, Vera, Ellis, and Ilsa, but for the sake of the staff who would need to clean up that mess, I will just settle on saying they clearly miss you as well.

Keep safe, Hana

Riley twisted to look at Drake. She knew he would already be done since he was a faster reader than her. His face was very still as he stared over at Bridget’s crib.

“Drake?”

He jerked his head over to look at her, giving her a very empty smile as he did so. “Your best friend is really something, huh?”

She frowned, trying to suss out how much she should read into that statement, but he kept his expression blank. When it became clear he wasn’t going to elaborate more, she settled on a light response, knowing he probably didn’t want to delve into things too deeply at this point. “She really is. But her assumption that we would be at all worried about our former titles is adorably naive.”

Drake let out a little snort of a chuckle, so Riley kept going. “Can you imagine us just rolling back to Valtoria after all of this and challenging Hana for the title?”

His smile became a little more genuine at that. “Well, being out of touch with reality is a common trait amongst the nobility. Maybe it would just be us finally catching up with the rest of them.”

She nudged him with her elbow. “Come on, let’s pack this stuff up and get some sleep.”

“Sounds like a plan, Walker.”

Riley stood up and offered a hand to Drake, tugging him to his feet as well. There was still a lot they needed to sort through and take care of, both practically and emotionally. She knew that. Even with everything given to them tonight, the months ahead were hardly going to be a cake walk, and she knew she would have to get Drake talking at some point. But for the first time in weeks, she felt true hope. Hope that they could make this work, that they weren’t two seconds away from failing their daughter and each other, that they were moving forward. And for tonight, that felt like enough.

Perma: @walkerswhiskeygirl @octobereighth @kimmiedoo5 @mom2000aggie

TRR/TRH: @iaminlovewithtrr @mskaneko @axwalker @jovialyouthmusic @marshmallowsandfire @kingliam2019 @sirbeepsalot @texaskitten30 @princessleac1 @ladyangel70 @debramcg1106 @masterofbluff @sarahx206

Drake/MC: @no-one-u-know @iplaydrake

FoF: @burnsoslow @bobasheebaby

#drake walker #drake x mc #trh au #trh fanfic #trh au fanfic #choices fanfiction #trh #the royal heir #king liam #olivia nevrakis #n*fw #30 diamonds

49 notes · View notes

naktergalen · 4 years

Text

Rivamika Fic Suggestions List

Hello! First time posting on the Rivamika side of Tumblr. I just wanted to leave some of my personal recommendations for Rivamika fan fics on here to possibly help pass the time. I know that some people in the Rivamika chat will ask or put down some fic suggestions and it sucks that the messages get deleted after 1 week. Some of these stories are widely known in this community and some I think need a little more love lol. But I hope that you enjoy these stories as much as I have. I’ve split this list up into four categories. I wanted to let people know the status of some these fics in case they did not want to start an incomplete or in progress story. I know that many people are going to noticed that the Western Passage is not on this list. Sadly, I never got around to reading it when it was written for Levi and Mikasa and I can’t seem to find it anywhere for the life of me.

All of these fics can be found on AO3. I would link them but Tumblr apparently has an issue with links. If you guys want another list of fics, just let me know or you can tell me to GTFO and I will take the hint lol! If you have any fic suggestions for me, feel free to message me with them and I can add them on to the next list if anyone wants that. If any author sees their story on here and they want me to take it off the list, please let me know I don’t wish to make anyone feel uncomfortable. Also, last thing, I highly recommend leaving comments and kudos to the authors. I know that they greatly appreciate it and it helps them with improving their writing through feedback. I’ll shut up now.

DISCLAIMER: I know that not all of these stories are not for everyone, these are just my opinions and suggestions.

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Completed:

- Finding Comfort in Burning

Author: LittleWhisperer

Rating: Mature

This is a classic Rivamika fic and I know that the community loves it (as do I). If you are looking for superb character development, look no further than this baby right here. LittleWhisperer’s writing is so well done I can’t believe that this ain’t just a famous author writing in their spare time (oh wait I think they are). They’re so descriptive with the environment that you feel as if you are there watching as the scenes unfold. It’s a captivating story from start to finish and the building of Mikasa and Levi’s passionate relationship is soo scrumptious.

- Part of Me

Author: kenken_chan

Rating: Mature

Every Rivamika fan out there has to read this story!!! I cannot describe how absolutely wonderful this fic is! I was literally left speechless after finishing the last chapter because my mind was just blown away by the conclusion of Levi and Mikasa’s relationship. This really takes you on an emotional roller coaster and you can really grasp each character’s emotions through out the story. I will give a warning before hand, there are heavy subjects and situations presented that some people may not feel comfortable with. I personally think those subjects and how they are handled is what makes this fic such a diamond in the rough but if you are feeling uncomfortable then I understand that as well. I also know this fic has been out before and that the author had made changes to it since it was first released. If you haven’t read the edited version of this story, I would say give it another read now. I would love to hear what people think after they finish reading this gem.

- A Dangerous Game

Author: LittleWhisperer

Rating: Explicit

OMG! What a ride this story was! Once I started to read the first chapter, I could not stop! It just sucked me into the story’s world and I felt like I was actually there seeing the action and environment that the author was describing. This story keeps you in suspense and on your toes for what is going to happen next in this crazy Mafia AU. The relationship between Levi and Mikasa is magnificently done as they come to realize they have more in common than they think. I enjoy LittleWhisper’s work and I recommend checking out more of their works.

- The Taste of Pomegranate

Author: alienheartattack

Rating: Teen/Explicit

I have to say that I would have not expected me to like a Ballet AU story for Rivamika, but I absolutely enjoy every second while reading this one. The way the author creates the tension between Mikasa and Levi is splendidly done in this story. There are two more one-shots that follow after the original fic but they honestly feel like two more chapters that are just continuing with the story. I would certainly read the two one-shots after your finish reading part 1, you will not regret it!

- The Song Remains the Same

Author: MoraLeeWright

Rating: Mature

I enjoy MoraLeeWright’s writing so much! I think I binged read this story in about a day, I couldn’t stop myself. This fic does a really great job of slowly building the relationship between Mikasa and Levi. It gives their perspectives on the challenges they are facing together as well as the conflicting feelings each have about the growing bond between the two of them. I know that this is a Rivamika classic among fans but if you have yet to read it, definitely check this story out!

Ongoing:

- Who Are You Calling a Bitch?

Author: xx_ciela

Rating: Mature

I was terrified that this fic would not ever get updated again, but good news its BACK! I am so excited to see where the story leads and whats going to happen to Mikasa, Levi and the other characters that are present. WAYCAB does an amazing job of mixing and twisting many different types of lore together to pull you into this fantasy type AU. Just when you think you have finally received the answers to your questions, it only lead to more questions lol. This story will keep you pensive and excited to find out what exactly is going on in this city. Its a slow burn in regards to Mikasa and Levi’s relationship, but I have a feeling that the wait will be well worth it. Undoubtedly recommend checking this out and leaving a comment for the author telling you want more!

- I Just Miss A Good Cup Of Tea

Author: EJelly

Rating: Mature

I discover this fic because of how it was blowing up in the Rivamika tag on tumblr lol. I’m soo happy that I decided on checking it out because I binged read the 28 chapters that were out already. Attack on Titan meets The Walking Dead in this baby. The way that EJelly writes action is spectacular, it feels like I’m watching a TV show. I also love the way they write in each character’s POV in order for you to understand the mind set of the characters during this zombie apocalypse. The relationship between Levi and Mikasa is beautifully built over the course of this story and I cannot wait to find out what lies ahead of them. Again, another slow burn that I have a feeling will be well worth the wait (it already has been)! Go check it out and leave a comment telling EJelly that you are excited for more!

- Just Until The Storm Has Gone (?)

Author: MoraLeeWright

Rating: Explicit

Put a question mark by this one because I’m not sure if this is still ongoing or not. Regardless of that, I urge everyone to go read this indescribable work of art. MoraLeeWright’s writing has just blossomed into such beauty and she does nothing but keep getting better as time goes on (I don’t even know how that is possible but she doing the damn thing). JUTSHG is in a class of its own, for me, in the world of Rivamika fics. This baby is from Mikasa’s perspective and it delves into her psyche as she is dealing with the after affects of war. Her relationship with Levi is so mesmerizing in this story and the way that MoraLeeWright creates their smut scenes is so yummy I just want to eat it for lunch. I can’t even call it smut because its so much more than that. You can feel the connection of two souls finally finding the other they have been looking for as well as passion they have for each other. I could go on about how much I LOVE this story but I’ll stop. This one is on my top 3 favorite Rivamika fics of all time.

Incomplete:

- No Rest for the Wicked

Author: Hallow17

Rating: Explicit

Freaking love this story and I’m SOOO SAD that its incomplete! Mikasa has to deal with the paranormal while also running a business in this fic. The budding relationship between Levi and Mikasa is well paced and so gracefully displayed that even though it is an incomplete story, it’s well worth reading the 19 chapter that have already been published. Everything you could ask for in a paranormal story is presented; ghost, action, spirits, and lots of angst! This is such a unique story its literally burned into my brain and I will never forget it. I hope that Hallow17 miraculously comes back to finish this baby off one day!

- Romance and Rivalry

Author: AmayaOkami

Rating: Explicit

I AM SO HEARTBROKEN THAT THIS STORY IS NOT COMPLETE I CANT EVEN BEGIN TO EXPLAIN MY FEELINGS!!! Ugh, this story is soo freakin good! I know that this is another story that is popular in the Rivamika community but I have no choice but to put it here! The build up in this story is amazing that you can’t wait to read the next chapter to see what happens with Mikasa and Levi. This is such a great take on a typical romantic trope but AmayaOkami puts so much personality into the characters that it gives off such a fun and exciting vibe. The comedy and awkwardness is displayed so well that I have to stop reading because I get bad second hand embarrassment lol! Omg please read it even though its incomplete, its too much fun to pass up on. AMAYAOKAMI PLEASE I BEG YOU COME BACK AND FINISH THIS RIVAMIKA ROMCOM I HAVE TO KNOW WHAT HAPPENS!!!!!

One-Shot:

- Intertwining

Author: Livysan

Rating: Explicit

I’m staring off these one-shots with two of my favorite Rivamika “smut” stories. This is such a wonderfully written love scene between Mikasa and Levi. Livysan really expresses the yearning passion that Levi and Mikasa have for each and unfolds it in such a sweet and loving way. A must for any Rivamika fan to read.

- Until the Stars Disappear

Author: noiresetoiles

Rating: Mature

This is just an exquisitely done love scene between Levi and Mikasa I almost have no words for it. Its just down right BEAUTIFUL that pretty much all I can do to describe it. I really enjoyed how noiresetoiles decided to not use any dialogue in this story, it really shows how Mikasa and Levi’s actions tell how they really feel about each other. Again, a must read for Rivamika fans.

- Clean-Shaven

Author: hashire

Rating: Mature

The cute domestic fluff that we need from Levi and Mikasa! This is a one-shot but it is part of hashire’s Happily Ever After collection. The whole collection is about the domestic bliss between Mikasa and Levi after the war has come to an end. I definitely recommend reading the entire collection, you will not be sorry.

- Pure Dawn

Author: sulkyfuckingcat

Rating: Explicit

A Holiday AU that has sexual tension and smut? Count. Me. In. Pure Dawn has all the build up and smutiness that any Rivamika fan needs if they are craving it. Go check it out if you haven’t, I know that its pretty popular in the Rivamika community and I can see why lol.

- Begging for Thread

Author: villanelle

Rating: Explicit

I believe that this one has been talked about a lot in the Rivamika community but I still have to leave it here just in case someone hasn’t heard about it. Its a must read. Written from the perspective of Levi the story explores his mindset as he is trying to deal with his emotions towards Mikasa. Mikasa has some taunting tendencies in this fic which I love as well.

- Looking Into the Heart of Light

Author: hashire

Rating: Explicit

Again, another domestic bliss fic about an eventful evening between Levi and Mikasa. Its a pretty quick read but its too cute to pass up. If your looking for a quick Rivamika fix then this is the fic for you.

#rivamika #levimika #levikasa #mikasa x levi #levi x mikasa #rivamika fic #fanfic #im bored in quarantine #so im reading

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