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kaus-quietis · 2 months

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Greetings, Anon! Thank you for your questions. I have to admit, even in the past, I refrained from posting reactions or speculations as BSD chapters release, but you already knew that, so I will indulge you. I'll answer each part of your ask. BSD ch113 thoughts below, manga spoilers ahead.

♠ "What was your raw reaction?" It was not a calm, quiet one, I can tell you that. No, in fact I screamed with excitement as if I was in a Roman amphitheatre and my favourite gladiator just got back up on his feet, out of sheer force of will, grinning and sweaty. My scream was the fastest way I could "verbalize" the fact that I was overjoyed to see him alive again, even if it's in the 15th century, and on top of that he seemed to be some kind of spy monk all chained up and having what seems to be a ridiculous amount of fun getting caught and discussing with Bram. This is all very in-character for him.

♠ "Was that something you expected?" Absolutely not. Yes, yes, I truly did not expect a jump back in time and this infobomb drop, despite the fact that we did get a few hints that Fedya seemed present at past events when all the other character really appeared younger than him (near the end of S4ep3, where on a rooftop Fedya says "It's not V, it's Five" and I am seriously like bruh I give up what I want to say is I need more data to work with, what am I supposed to do with this, rationally speaking?). However, we can't yet extract anything conclusive from this. Is he ageless? A time-traveler? Immortal? Does he revive? When was he born? Was he born at all or created differently somehow? Is he of BSD's world, or an external one (Beast liveaction finale anyone?)? Is this all within the Book and he's just… idk flipping the pages? Anything is possible and I refuse to spend a lot of time working with incomplete data. This is not very follower-friendly (as in, my blog is basically inactive in-between), I know and I apologize, but if after many chapters there will be something worthwile to add to my essay (with what Fukuchi said in ch113 I already have important stuff to add), under those circumstances I will consider writing an update. It's not yet time.

♠ "<Was that> something you felt different for the characterization we all made for Fyodor?" Hmm, I would hesitate to refer to a characterization "we all made" for him (I wish! T o T), because my analysis and blog are but a tiny tiny part of the fandom (I think…? I wonder about my Fedya essay's reach or influence sometimes). But let's say here we refer to one that comes close to what I tried to show in my essay. In that case, I would say that there is nothing to fear here in this chapter, but it's very understandable to have massive trust issues at this point. We went through a miserable, miserable time when the previous ones made the guy who visually memorized a full deck of used cards somehow not notice Chuuya wearing contacts and fake vampire teeth, despite knowing the vampire race since… well, the 15th century! I cannot even begin to describe what I felt reading ch111.5-112, I was beyond repulsed. Lovers of "villain" characters understand the following thing well: in most media, our fav has to lose, he has to die or disappear at some point, with rare exceptions. I, too, know this well, but that was no compelling way to solve BSD's villain threat. I still don't know how BSD will wash away that narrative stain, as I consider it, but then again one of the reasons we love this manga is that it keeps us on the edge of our seats and the most absurd yet fun turns can happen out of the blue. We can reasonably ask ourselves: ok, what is the purpose of showing Fedya's backstory now? If it's for build-up, we can already start grinning like Cheshire cats. What could possibly be next? I'm cautiously optimistic, things look in-character and good to me. Very good, in fact.

♠ "Or do you think it is later on going add some depth to his character?" Backstories are shown usually for a very clear purpose. We don't know the purpose yet, but if it's done well, then… then my whole essay could be at risk lmao (and I love this sensation). New info could add so much depth to his character, in fact, that his previously observed traits could gain new meanings, or even contradictory ones. Whichever it will be, I think it's pretty safe to bet on "his backstory will be very relevant".

♠ Bonus: even if I enjoy going "full analytical" and enter conference speech mode when asked, I am driven by strong emotions, by which I want to say – I am not immune to assassin/spy monk Fedya chained up like that and having the time of his life again. I missed seeing him entertained like that, and his current …………. visual representation in the.. uh. ..chapter, yeah, well, it's doing things to my Depeche Mode-worshipping heart.

Anyway, to conclude with some facts we know as of now:

a. Fedya and Bram are inside the Bran Castle, close to the Romanian city of Brașov, "deep in the Carpathians" although not built at high altitude itself. It's basically a fortress built between 1377-1388, with several later additions. The BSD representation of it is very accurate to how it looks today. It's near perfect, actually, I applaud.

b. Bram mentions King Matthias, and in this context that can only mean Matthias Corvinus, King of Hungary for 1458-1490. The meeting between Fedya and Bram thus happens some year during his reign, when Transylvania was still part of the Kingdom of Hungary. What is still strange to me is that I can't pinpoint Bram's exact position, as in… were his people independent? Or avoided? I feel like I need to re-read past Bram-related chapters to think about this.

c. Nevermind Bram, the things that Fukuchi says, those are the real goldmine here, but the gold is still… encrypted? I mean: Fedya made the DoA plan (more than confirmed now), and because Fukuchi asked for the condition to keep casualties under 500, Fedya respected that and we got entertained for like half of the whole BSD manga: using coin bombs for terror, for economic/political destabilization, using the vampire infection to avoid further violence, these things. The more you think about it, the more insane it gets. Since Fedya agreed to this condition, it means causing (more) deaths and violence were expendable things to him. (But imagine this: Fukuchi said "I want max. 500 deaths" and Fedya said "Yeah I can do that", now if Fukuchi would've said "I want max. 2 deaths" I really believe Fedya would've still said "Yeah I can do that". What can't he do, especially since murder for murder's sake isn't his goal?). This is in perfect harmony with his "necessary deaths only" approach so far, and much much more. There are far more implications in what Fukuchi said, which I won't type out here now. Gotta keep them and build around them for a future analysis update.

This was a rather long read, but still, I hope this satisfies your curiosities, Anon. *bows dramatically & disappears in a borderline insufferable ENTP way*

#Lav answers #I can't believe I wrote so much #yet still I will keep true to my principle of not over-speculating with insufficient data #a proper essay update would be much more valuable than making separate monthly posts even though in this way I can't contribute to the hype #or despair #or both #but fans of patient analysis will profit .. richly from this #someday!#sigh why is it I can talk about Fedya for hours #why can't I..... ugh.......#Iiiiiiii caaaaan't stooooop lovinggg youuuu #OTL................#man I've chosen the best manga character of all time frfr #also as of ch113 my Philosopher!Fedya fanfic is basically.................canon-friendly to the highest degree and I can't believe it #it happens in like the 1440-1450s and I dont even know how to feel about this reveal skjdfng

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jackiebuttcakes · 2 years

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A Way Out - Soukoku (NSFW/Fluff/Tiny Bit of Angst) Fanfic

Hey y’all! I’m a new Soukoku worshipper heehee. I love these two so much I couldn’t resist >.< This has a little bit of everything (first smut fanfic so I apologize if it isn’t up to your expectations) Hope you enjoy!!

Word Count: 5,498

“To the stray dogs,” Dazai proclaimed, offering Atsushi a toast. They clinked their champagne glasses and sipped towards the sunset. With Fyodor captured and the Furokodani/Mori virus infestation situation resolved, the Armed Detective Agency hosted a celebration on the cruise, despite the possible axed punishment they were going to receive from the boss soon after for disobeying his orders. Dazai was clearly an exception to this since he got sniped after uncovering Fyodor’s hiding spot and was unconscious throughout the majority of the dispute - an additional result that he had kept in mind when he encountered him.

“How are your injuries Dazai-san?” Atsushi asked concernedly.

“I can’t feel a damn thing haha! You think I could be easily taken down by a gunshot?” He laughed arrogantly.

“Well.. you were bedridden for the majority of the day so…” Atsushi mumbled, sipping the rest of his glass. Dazai looked at his reflection by tilting his glass towards him.

Even though it was his plan to get shot, he partially wished it didn’t have to come down to it. He was thrilled by the action and wanted to always show off his tactical skills to destroy the enemy from within. But, most importantly, he missed doing it all with his beloved partner. Double Black swept the underworld by storm, the most infamous duo in the Port Mafia. He was always entranced by Chuuya’s ability and top tier martial art skills. His plans came to fruition so easily whenever he utilized him and he ENJOYED them. It didn’t feel like busy work whenever he was blessed by his presence. Just being by his side reignited his purpose in life, something that Dazai thought he would never be able to find. Unfortunately, he only realized this after the fact he left the Port Mafia and fought by Chuuya’s side just recently.

“Do you think Akutagawa and I could be Double Black someday?” The sudden question from Atsushi caused Dazai to spill some of his champagne. It took him a moment to respond to this because he believed his young subordinate was able to read his thoughts, something that is very difficult to do because rarely anyone knew what he was thinking besides Odasaku and well…you know who.

“I believe you both will be better than us,” He deeply sighed, chugging down the last drops of his champagne.

“Haha… no pressure there…” Atsushi laughed nervously. “If we didn’t plan that death match in 6 months time maybe I would take your claims more seriously…” Dazai ruffled his hair playfully.

“I’m actually quite intrigued. This could be a great bonding experience for the two of you!” He replied cheerfully causing the tsundere weretiger to blush immensely.

“Oi pipsqueaks! We’re about to dock! Get over here!” Kunikida yelled from the balcony. Dazai’s response was only half the truth. There is not a doubt that his two boys will flourish into something magical and terrifying as the protectors of Yokohama, but they could never and will never be what Double Black once was. The bond that he and Chuuya shared was like no other. Once they became official partners, they were inseparable in every aspect. No one could make Dazai smile the way Chuuya made him smile. No one could aggravate him the way Chuuya’s annoying voice ringed in his ears. No one could make him a more capable and confident executive than his beloved Chuuya. He was his safety blanket. He was someone he could always rely on even if he felt like he didn’t deserve it. He was always going to be there no matter what he did to push him away. The more he pushed, the more he wanted him to come closer.

Deep in his thoughts, he didn’t realize he had wished his coworkers goodnight before heading back to his apartment. He took his normal route home, cutting through the alleyway by the market plaza. He clicked his tongue as he pulled out his tie, allowing his throat to relax. It was the one thing that made him regret wrapping himself in bandages. He heard footsteps from a distance and as he looked up he saw the familiar silhouette of a man with a fedora and a terrifying presence.

“I was wondering where you were Chibi~” He said with a smirk, stopping in his tracks as he approached him.

“Ask that wimpy Four-Eyes,” Chuuya snarled, looking disheveled with eyebags around his eyes.

“Ah. Ranpo-san did fill me in on the situation. Gotta say, I’m impressed. I was expecting to see you in a weeks time,”

“Fuck you Makarel. Cause of that bastard, I’m gonna get an earful from Ane-san because of your damned organization,” Dazai noticed how he was lacking that snappy bravado he always greeted him with. That mystery book really did tire him out, he thought. Chuuya walked past him but planted his feet a few steps after. “Why did you make a poor effort to dress properly today?” He asked, his back still facing him.

“Aw. Is that your way of saying I look sexy in a suit and tie?” Dazai cooed. In a flash, adrenaline surged in his body as he grabbed his collar roughly, ready to sock him in the face.

“Are you deaf asshole!? I said ‘poor effort’! There’s no way you could ever look DECENTLY nice in ANYTHING ,” He spat, roughly releasing his hand from his now wrinkled dress shirt .

“Chuuya… are you implying that I look hot when I’m naked?” He gasped mockingly, covering his chest dramatically. Chuuya hated himself for heating up, remembering how they would always change together. The way he would watch his younger self peaking at Dazai wrapping himself in bandages, and how the ones around his ass would loosely hang there, giving him a small peak of his buttcrack.

“I b-blocked your mummified body out of my memories because of how traumatizing they were,” He scoffed, crossing his arms and pinching himself to stop blushing.

“Boss and Mori-san recovered and Fyodor was imprisoned so the ADA decided to have a little celebration. The Port Mafia just finished their own party according to Akutagawa - so sorry you missed it,” Dazai lightly teased.

“And having to hang around their drunk asses? No thank you,”

“Well, you barely did anything anyways, so it’s not like you deserved an invitation,”

“YOU BASTARD!”

The usual bickering they would have has officially started but it didn’t last long. Chuuya’s eyes hid under his fedora which started to worry Dazai a bit, so his smug look started to fade as well.

“This is it,”

“You’re gonna have to be a bit more specific than that Chuuya,” But, Dazai already knew what he was going to say just by the way he looked deep into his eyes.

“After this, I don’t want to ever see your face again unless I’m ordered to,” The way he replied in a serious tone stung Dazai. He gulped subconsciously and bit his tongue. “Don’t act like I haven’t forgotten that you betrayed the Port Mafia.” You betrayed me, he wanted to say. But instead, he turned away from his gaze. “Nothing will ever be the same as before, even for Double Black,”

“Chuuya…” He croaked softly, so softly to try to mask the pain in his voice, but his partner knew him too well and was able to see right through him making it harder for him to finish.

“This is it, Dazai. We’re right where we belong. Enemies. Nothing more, nothing less,” He clenched his fists before starting to take the first step away from the man he devoted himself to.

“I understand… But before we go our separate ways, I wanted to give you this,” Dazai offered him a red envelope. Chuuya glanced at it, not daring to look into his eyes again. There were a million comments he could have made, but he wanted to get this painful encounter to be over with so he swiped it from his hands and opened it. “I was gonna save this for your birthday but if we’re doing this now, then I might as well-”

“What the hell is this!?” He shouted, his trembling hands gripping the paper. Dazai expected his reaction, but it was still so terrifying, for once in his life, he had no idea what the predictable Chuuya was going to do after. His only response was panic, a feeling he hasn’t felt other than with his dear friend Odasaku dying in his arms.

“I got the approval from Mori-san. It took months of convincing but once I presented the evidence, he had no choice but to surrender to my offer. Organizing these secret meetings with every one of your opposers was a pain, since you’re ordered to conduct mass assaults on a weekly basis. All that was left was to get my Boss’ response. He hesitated at first but after I told him about your skills you displayed in the 3 Way Organization war, he finally-” The red head dropped the paper on the ground, grabbed Dazai by the neck and slammed him against the wall, his dagger at the ready to slit his throat. This position was awfully familiar as Dazai slowly crouched to get a good look of his blue eyes of fury. However, it was different. His grip was weaker and shakier.

“What the hell did you do Dazai!” He roared with a hint of whimpering behind it. Dazai took a deep breath, sinking his neck deeper in his ex-partners fingers.

“A way out,” He answered. Dazai knew that Chuuya knew what was in that letter. All he wanted was verification from the man he trusted dearly. Chuuya gritted his teeth, trying his best to strengthen his grip on his neck even if it didn’t make much of a difference.

“That’s impossible! Even for you.. That’s…” He said softly. Dazai hesitated but eventually went through with wrapping his hand around his arm that could choke him out at any given moment.

“It seemed impossible at first. But I was finally able to give you options. You can live your life without the mafia blood tainted in your veins dragging you down or you can continue to serve this city you care so much about with the ADA… but you’re more than welcome to stay in the Port Mafia shadows that you thrive so well in… The choice is yours Chuuya… it’s all yours..” He said with a comforting voice. At that moment, he dropped his knife, gripped his trembling hands on Dazai’s suit jacket, and buried his head deep into his chest, allowing his hat to fall off. Dazai froze in place as the strongest executive wept in his arms.

“I missed you dammit…. So goddamn much….” Dazai felt his warm tears soaking him, melting his cold heart that longed for such warmth for the longest time. “Why did you leave me… you couldn’t even say goodbye… I hate you for it! I’ll always hate you for it! It’s all your fault shitty Dazai…It’s all your fucking fault,” He choked on his words, leaning into him more as he became more vulnerable. Finally, for what seemed like an eternity, Dazai let him in, wrapping his arms tightly around his small frame, nuzzling his head on his shoulder.

“Leaving you behind… was the hardest decision I’ve ever made in my entire life…” He whispered, fighting back his tears. Chuuya’s breathing slowed down immensely, so he could hear his partner clearly. “I missed you more than you’ll ever know,” Chuuya lifted his head up to gaze into his eyes with wet cheeks and a little bit of snot about to drip down. Dazai couldn’t help smiling at how adorable he looked. His eyebrows furrowed in embarrassment now that he just cried his heart out in front of the one person he didn’t want to cry in front of for the first time.

“Tell me you’re joking with me Dazai,” He sniffled, squeezing his suit jacket tighter. He felt Dazai’s breath tickle his nose as he wiped the tears and snot with a pinkish hue emerging to the surface of his face as a result.

“Would I ever joke about something like this, Chuuya?” He whispered softly, looking deep into his blue eyes. Chuuya would have stared longer and taunt him into another meaningless contest but he was more attractive than ever, and already too ashamed to be this close so he broke off first.

“You cheeky bastard. I can’t believe you pulled this off,” He chuckled, about to break off their intimate and sudden embrace, but it only prompted Dazai to hold him tighter. “Let go of me, creep!”

“No,” Dazai huffed, pressing his forehead onto his to resume their strong gaze into each other’s souls. “Not until you make your choice,” Chuuya gulped, heat emitting off of both of their flustered faces. He needed something to cool him off, and coincidentally, rain started to pour and flood the streets. They briefly looked up at the dark sky until they saw a single lightning flash. “Tell me already Hat rack. I don’t wanna be soaking wet all night,” He snapped at him impatiently, squeezing their already wet bodies closer.

“Shut up,” He responded before swallowing his lips entirely with his. Dazai’s eyes widened at his sudden action but immediately melted into his touch. Chuuya wrapped his arms around his neck, gripping a chunk of his damp brown hair in each hand. Dazai rested his hands around his waist, fitting perfectly in the crook of his curvy waistline. It was like his hands were meant to hold him. They took turns sucking on each other’s bottom lip, sometimes nibbling them in the process. Dazai’s tongue entered his mouth first, exploring the crevices that he desperately wanted to taste ever since he saw his huge mouth yell at him for the first time. He smirked when Chuuya’s tongue played around with his in response, sucking on it to add an extra tease. Moans and breathless exchanging of their names were only heard by them and the pouring rain that grew more intense the more they kissed passionately. They parted their wet lips for a moment to catch their breaths. Chuuya rested his left cheek on Dazai’s shoulder looking at the contract that was on the ground, beyond salvageable. “Shit. The paper is-,” Dazai cupped his face and gave him a quick peck on his lips.

“I have multiple copies at home, babe” He chuckled. Chuuya’s face flushed until they heard the ground shake from the thunder crashing from above. He yanked his hair just enough to hear him whimper an “Ow”

“Don’t call me babe,” He muttered before interlocking their lips once again. So much time passed that they didn’t realize they made their way to Dazai’s apartment. Dazai gracefully took off his wet shoes, giggling hysterically as he watched an angry and feisty Chuuya trying to wiggle out of his dark heels that were stubbornly stuck to him. “Wipe that smug look off your ugly ass face!” He roared angrily, running towards him once he was free from his shoes. Unfortunately, his smartass partner knew his moves like the back of his hand and successfully dodged his grasp. He then smoothly pinned his shoulders to the wall, his right arm planted right above his small stature and his left thumb and index finger touching the bottom of his chiseled chin. He tilted his head upward to face his lustful eyes. Chuuya was stuck between choking the living daylights out of him and fucking him to his core.

“It’s my turn,” He grinned, diving for his lips once again. Chuuya closed his eyes tightly as he let his hot man lick him dry. Dazai’s curious lips kissed his jawline, then nibbled his ear, continuing down his wet neck, alternating between kissing, sucking, and biting.

“Dazai.. y-you… ahh….” He moaned softly as he heard Dazai’s wet kisses getting louder and louder as he traveled down his collar bone.

“Dazai you what?” He teased as he continued to mark his body with his kisses.

“You sly conniving bastard… nnnnngggg” It was difficult for Chuuya to continue his insults once he felt Dazai’s bony knee rubbing his bulge slowly but enough to stimulate his erection even more. “Dazai you…. Ah…”

“You’re ready to burst my lovely Chuuya. It’s too late to resist now,” Dazai hissed, replacing his knee with his hand, using only two fingers to massage his balls through his thin pants. Chuuya bit his lips but once Dazai hit his sweet spot, a moan ripped his throat out, soaking his crotch. Dazai grinned as he took his lips once again. Chuuya pushed him away only to grab him and barge him through his bedroom door. Dazai plopped on the bed watching the petit mafia unbutton his shirt, exposing his rock hard abs that he had missed seeing so much when he was a Port Mafia executive. Chuuya smirked at a jaw dropped Dazai and continued to take off his pants and soaked underwear. Dazai didn’t notice he was drooling and staring in awe at his not surprisingly long cock. Chuuya walked towards him slowly, running his hand through his soaked red hair back. If that wasn’t enough for Dazai to pitch a tent in his own pants, it was when Chuuya sat on his lap, wrapping his legs around his hips locking him into place.

“Fuck me…..” Dazai confessed, mouth still agape. Chuuya pushed his shaggy hair back and kissed his forehead gently.

“Make me then,” He whispered, his breath tickling his hair. Dazai immediately lifted him off his lap like a feather and pressed his body on the mattress. He gave Chuuya no time to respond as he bit his neck and kissed his jawline. Chuuya panted as Dazai tongue traveled down his chest and abs. Chuuya thrusted his body upward to resist moaning from the delightful pleasure he was giving him. He bent his knees as Dazai kissed his inner thighs. Once he was done marking them, he stared straight down, getting a perfect view of his cock. Chuuya’s lips quivered, seeing the way Dazai looked at it, as if he was a starving man who was ready to have the biggest feast of his life. His gaze met with his before the biggest smirk appeared on his perverted face.

“Will this be enough for you to fuck me my lovely Chuuya?” Chuuya could tell how impatient Dazai was getting, and at this point, he was too.

“Depends how good you are ,” He challenged, with a cheeky grin. Dazai had a glint in his eyes before proceeding to chug down his length down his throat. Chuuya didn’t bother restraining his moan as Dazai’s mouth slid up and down his dick. Dazai’s tongue made little circular motions around the tip to taunt him a bit. Chuuya grabbed a fistful of his hair to push his mouth down his length again, turning Dazai on even more. Chuuya’s eyes rolled back in lust , gripping his hair tighter and tighter as he felt and heard Dazai’s wet mouth sucking his length faster and faster. A pool of saliva and pre-cum dripped down his balls. Dazai decided to pleasure his partner even more by licking and sucking his testicles. Chuuya had given up trying to swallow his lust and melted into the mattress by his wet touch. As much as Dazai wanted to continue, he too was at his limit. He gave his cock one last suck before swallowing the fluids that lingered and leaked out of his mouth. He wiped his lips, staring at an exhausted Chuuya, whose chest was rising and falling at a steady pace. Dazai made sure to ingrain this moment of his beloved Chuuya, legs spread wide open for only him to enter. His moment of silence was soon seized when Chuuya lifted his head to see Dazai gawking stupidly at his naked body. He took a deep breath, trying to calm down his throbbing wet cock.

“How did I do?” Dazai panted, about to fall over until Chuuya wrapped his hands around his neck, pulling him into a sloppy kiss. Chuuya rolled him over, not letting go of his lips so that he was now on top of him. Dazai was too distracted by his sudden aggressiveness, he didn’t notice that Chuuya was already removing his top.

“Your goddamn bandages argh. It’s killing the mood,” He groaned trying to find the end. Dazai chuckled and found it effortlessly, wiggling it in front of him. “Tch. Suicidal maniac,” Just then, he had an idea as he was unraveling his soaked bandages.

“It’s so much better when you’re doing all the wor- ahh…” Dazai trembled at Chuuya’s warm lips sucking his neck as the bandages started to loosely fall off, exposing his skin little by little.

“What was that, BABE?” When he got to his chest, his right nipple came into view, allowing Chuuya to roll the bud around the tip of his tongue, licking and sucking simultaneously. Dazai wrapped his arms around his head, pressing Chuuya’s lips harder into his chest.

“Keep nngg… going…” Dazai flicked his head back, as Chuuya’s fingers slid down his slender torso. Once Chuuya finished unraveling him, he flipped him roughly on his back, removing the rest of his garments. He pulled his hips towards his entrance, forcing Dazai to kneel, his anus waiting for Chuuya to enter him. Chuuya stroked his cock a couple times before allowing the tip to make contact with his hole. He felt Dazai’s legs quiver, impatiently waiting for him.

“I don’t think you’re ready for this,” He said arrogantly.

“I was born ready,” Dazai snapped back, gripping the bedding. And with one push, Chuuya had finally penetrated him. They both roared a moan, as Chuuya’s thrusts got faster. The bed was soaking with their fluids and creaking from Chuuya’s powerful thrusts. Dazai wasn’t giving in, but he wasn’t resisting either. He wanted Chuuya to enter him deeper, so he started to grind against him too, matching with his rhythm. Once Chuuya felt him doing so, he quickened his pace, heaving at every breath. “D-Don’t stop,” Dazai groaned breathlessly, feeling his cock pounding against his insides.

“Don’t you dare mock me shitty Dazai,” Chuuya grunted, thrusting into him harder until his knees buckled beneath him. Both him and Dazai were at their limit. Before they knew it, one last grind between their bodies, and their cum poured out of them and on the bed. They both moaned tiredly as Chuuya pulled out. They flopped on the mattress like two corpses who were being dumped into a pile of other corpses.

“That was… the best sex I’ve ever had,” Dazai laughed hoarsely, still trying to catch his breath. Chuuya lying on his right side, having only a view of Dazai’s slim back.

“No way in hell you weren’t a virgin before this,” Chuuya mocked as Dazai turned his neck to face him.

“I will not confirm nor deny,” Dazai mumbled, sticking his tongue out. Chuuya chuckled and closed his eyes because he didn’t know how much he could take staring at his beautiful face. Dazai pushed the red stray hairs that framed his face back behind his ear. He leaned closer to him and pressed his lips on his closed eyelids. Then he kissed his nose, cheeks and down the side of his neck. Chuuya opened one eye to see a Dazai closing his eyes lovingly as he pressed his warm lips on his shoulder and left a trail of kisses down his arm. Chuuya wanted to utter something but he wanted him to keep going and he thought his loud mouth would ruin it. His touch was intoxicating and pure, something that he hated and loved about him. He would do anything to not hear Dazai’s yapping mouth but at times like these… he was the only one he wanted in his world.

“I like this Chuuya…” Dazai said softly, as Chuuya wrapped his arms loosely around his waist and pulled him in so that his head fit snugly in the crook of his neck. Dazai breathed into his collar bone and smelled his addictive scent.

“I thought I tired you out and yet you’re still talking out of your ass,” He mumbled trying to fall asleep. Dazai’s head popped out of his embrace and snuck a kiss on his nose.

“I’m never tired of talking to you,” He whispered. Chuuya was too tired to fight back but his heart pounding against his chest was telling him otherwise. He sighed deeply, his breath tickling Dazai’s face.

“What have you been doing all these years..” Chuuya placed his hand gently on his cheek, rubbing it softly with his thumb. Dazai held the hand on his cheek tightly, without breaking eye contact.

“Trying to get you out,”

“Why…”

“Don’t act stupid, Chuuya,” He chuckled pressing their foreheads together. “You’re my partner,” Chuuya’s eyes widened, with a gloss of tears ready to burst once again.

“Partner my ass,” He muttered, pulling him for another passionate kiss.

“So, have you made your choice?” Dazai questioned after they parted.

“Ugh. You gotta give me more time than that. This ain’t an easy decision you just threw at me, idiot,” Chuuya groaned, forcing himself to lie on his side, facing away from him.

“I know I know. You’re right. I’ll give you more time,” Dazai pulled his body close to him which was pretty easy to do since he was such a lightweight. “But..” He dragged his small figure on top of him and he was quite surprised that Chuuya didn’t throw him out of his own room. Chuuya groggily looked at him as he massaged his head with one hand. “You’re gonna have to stay with me tonight,” He heard a small chuckle coming from the sleepy redhead.

“You selfish bastard” Chuuya intertwined his fingers with Dazai’s other hand resting on the mattress. “I wouldn’t be able to, even if I tried,” With one last squeeze, he passed out with muffled snores.

“Yup. I’m YOUR selfish bastard,” Dazai muttered softly, giving him one last kiss in his hair before falling asleep with the man who he desperately longed to be by his side and has now achieved.

*****

Chuuya was the first one to wake up the following morning. His head rose and fell as he was still lying on top of Dazai comfortably. He noticed that they never let go of each other’s hands, in fact, they probably held each other tighter throughout the night. His memories of the night were still a bit distorted but he had a feeling that it was one of the best nights he’s ever had. He tilted his head upwards to get a perfect view of a sleeping Dazai. Chuuya noticed his long eyelashes that shaded his eyes from the sun and the soft snores coming out of his partially opened mouth.

Chuuya still couldn’t believe how much he loved this man and perhaps how much that man loved him, despite what he did. It terrified Chuuya to the core if this was all part of Dazai’s sick plan to manipulate him, but there’s no way Dazai could hurt him… again…

He didn’t want to overthink about this now. He just wanted to savor the moment for as long as it’ll last. He inched closer to his face and gently placed his lips on top of his. When he parted, a subtle smirk appeared on Dazai’s face.

“Now THAT’s how you wake up Snow White,”

“Very funny, asshole,” Chuuya scoffed, removing himself from the bed. Dazai wanted to follow suit but his body betrayed him. Chuuya looked back to see how much Dazai was struggling. “Don’t strain yourself, slick. It’s still pretty early in the morning anyway,” And with that, he left the room in a flash. Dazai groaned in defeat, wrapping himself tighter under the covers. He couldn’t help smiling sheepishly, replaying how sexually intense the night was. He had always wanted to touch him and see him the way no one else did and he still couldn’t get over how much he saw his beloved Chuuya wanting it to. Now more than ever, he wanted to see him everyday after work, make love to him, comfort him and enjoy a simple life even if it was only possible within the confines of their home.

He pressed the blankets to his nose, smelling the lingering scent of Chuuya. He giggled quietly, blood rushing to his face from pure happiness. “I’m never washing these again,” Before he knew it, he fell right back asleep.

Some time had passed until Dazai was awakened by the strong aroma of waffles that was coming from his kitchen. He propped himself up and tipping quietly to the door that was opened slightly. He took a peek to see his chibi who was only wearing his briefs and his kitchen apron. His back was completely exposed and the way he shook his ass casually made Dazai salivate. The only thing that turned him off was his stupid hat perched on his head.

Dazai went to his closet to throw on a comfy shirt and boxers. He also decided to throw his and Chuuya’s discarded garments in the hamper so he had another excuse to meet up with him after work.

He sneakily approached Chuuya from behind, and snaked his arms under the apron and around his waist giving him a peck on the cheek.

“Good morning my lovely- BLERGH!! “ Dazai croaked as he felt Chuuya’s elbow stab in the stomach, sending him to the floor writhing in pain.

“Don’t sneak up on me again, asshole” Chuuya yelled before walking over him to get to the table.

“Aa da da da da. I should have expected that. Ugh…” Dazai winced as he got up with the support of the counter. He joined Chuuya at the table who was eating his waffle.

“This was all I could make from your pigsty of a fridge,” He muttered, pointing to the other waffle, waiting patiently for Dazai. It left a warm fuzzy feeling in his heart that Chuuya made breakfast for him just like old times.

“I miss your cooking, Chibi~,” Dazai said delightfully, eating every last crumb. Chuuya was a bit on the slower side so he stared at him lovingly and quietly until he finished. Chuuya glanced at him from time to time, trying to focus on eating but getting distracted by his addictive eyes staring into his soul once again.

“Quit staring at me Dazai,” He grunted.

“How can I not when you’re practically wearing just an apron and looking like a snack?”

“Tch!” He hated how much of a smooth talker he was, but he hated that he loved it even more.

“So…” Dazai took his hand and started sucking on his fingers to taste the residual maple syrup on them. “Did you have time to sleep on it?” Chuuya flinched at Dazai’s mouth, consuming his fingers and feeling his tongue wrap around each of them.

“Shitty Dazai… you -“ Before he could finish, Dazai grabbed his wrist to pull him on his lap. Chuuya instinctively wrapped his arms around his neck and pulled him in for a French kiss. He opened his mouth wide to allow Dazai’s tongue to explore his insides. While doing so, he felt Dazai’s fingers reach behind to untie the apron, leaving his body completely bare. Dazai started a trail of kisses on his neck, and suction cupping his shoulder with his mouth. “You want me to stay with your needy ass so badly huh?” He chuckled at how Dazai’s stray hairs tickled his chest and neck. Dazai paused to look up at the beautiful man perched on him, breathing heavily.

“I need you Chuuya,” Dazai panted desperately. Chuuya smiled at him dearly and pressed his lips softly on his.

“Well. It looks like I gotta have a chit chat with the boss then,” He said with a smirk seeing an excited Dazai looking at him like a puppy, something that Chuuya always found endearing. Dazai squeezed him tightly, Chuuya returning the favor. Their snuggle lasted for a few minutes until they heard their phones buzzing on the couch. They rolled their eyes simultaneously, knowing that their moment alone was coming to an end.

“I can’t wait to work with you, Chibi,” Dazai snickered, finishing wrapping his bandages. After Chuuya finished putting on his garments, he tippy toed to kiss Dazai on the cheek.

“Don’t push your luck, Mackerel. I plan on making every day of your life miserable,” This remark only prompted Dazai to pull him in for one last deep kiss before they headed back to reality. Hopefully, a new reality that they both wanted, side by side against the world and remind the city just how powerful Double Black truly is.

“I’m looking forward to it”

#soukoku #soukokuhell #chuuya nakahara #dazai osamu #dazai fluff #chuuya smut #dazai smut #chuuya fluff #double black

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dreamkidddream · 3 years

Note

Hello sunshine, would it be possible for you to write me some headcanons for my beloved Chuuya, Dazai and Atsushi? I was thinking about them having a fragil health s/o? Maybe they work an office job in the ada/pm and they somehow fall for the s/o? I hope this is no trouble and you have inspiration to write this. If you don't like this you can just ignore it. Thank you very much :)

Hi anon! Thank you for the request! So I’m assuming that when you say fragile health s/o is that the reader can get sick easily/overall very weak? I hope that I got the interpretation right, and I didn’t please feel free to send it in again so I can do it over for you. Reader is gender neutral, and hope you enjoy!

TW: Suicide (Dazai’s part, nothing heavy is mentioned, and it’s only in one line) and Abuse (Atsushi’s, nothing heavy is mentioned)

Easily Sick/Weak S/O with: Chuuya, Dazai, and Atsushi

Chuuya

Oh man, he hated this feeling. He already hated you even working in the Port Mafia (even though he was there too), but he hated it even more since you were weak physically

Don’t get him wrong, Chuuya knows that you’re a strong person through and through, but it was so easy for you to get hurt or sick working on the field, it honestly made him worried

What also made him worried was how he was falling for you and quickly. He’s an executive! He doesn’t have the time for romance, and what if (really when if because he wants you so bad you have no idea) someone decides to come after you because of your ties with him? It was already so easy for him to lose you now, he didn’t want to chance things and speed up the process

But, you were just...a really great person. You were determined, always kept your head up, didn’t take anything from anyone (you backtalked Mori once and still walked away with your throat intact, so that was a sign), and it didn’t help that you were really easy on the eyes (he couldn’t help it, you were already attractive, and those things were just icing on the cake for him)

Chuuya didn’t know how you could stand being in a stuffy office all day, so he always stopped by to check on some “information” for some “case he’s working on). It started out genuine, but then it became a daily occurrence, even on his rare days off.

One thing about him is that he’s a true gentleman, he knows how to treat his partner right. Bringing lunch to you, flowers sitting on your desk for no reason with a random note (”Hope you have a good day”, “Saw these when I was out, made me think about you”, “These don’t even compare to how beautiful you are, inside and out”, etc.), driving you home no questions asked, even offering you his favorite bottle of wine to share

He knows that he’s being cheesy but he was pulling out all the stops just for you

He knew it was risky for you to be out all the time, so whenever he did finally ask you on an “official” date (you thought sharing his wine was a date but he said that he wanted to show you off, not just in the office), you guys were either in a fully reserved restaurant or at his place. Seriously the way his place looks was like luxury! Damn you knew his job paid good money but wow! This was better than going out honestly

He confessed when you went over to his house one night. It was a particularly rough day for you both, and you just needed some reassurance which Chuuya was happy to give. It seemed like he went on for hours, but really it wasn’t too long, and you were in tears by the end of it. When he ended it with, “anyone would be beyond lucky to have you (Y/N), and I wish it were me. I wish I would have the chance to show you how much I really do love you, words aren’t enough for me. I’ll take the chance if you let me, and I swear you won’t regret it. Be mine, (Y/N), I’ll treat you like you deserve, and you deserve more than the world.”

You both understood the risks that came with dating you, but he swore that he would protect you with his life. If you did get sick, he couldn’t be there for you during the day because of his work, but he made sure to text you every hour on the hour to check on you and as soon as he got home, it was caretaker mode until you both went to bed

He bought you your medicine, the fluffiest pillows ever known to man, I mean did everything and anything. The dude was loaded, money was not an issue obviously

Chuuya is a great boyfriend, and will honestly do anything it takes to keep you safe and happy. He loves you after all, and he doesn’t mind all the extra work that comes with it (he doesn’t even see it as work, just precautions, which still isn’t a problem)

Dazai

He was not only worried about your health and safety, but also the fact that he was falling for you. Dazai was a very secretive person who didn’t like to show his true feelings, and he was scared of what he’s feeling for you. Him being attached and actually caring about people never paid off for him, as his past would tell you...

But here you were, being a bright, shining light in his cruel, bleak, dark world. He tried to keep his distance at first, but he couldn’t help but be drawn to you. You were so fun to be around, despite your condition! You always helped as much as you could in the office, being the first one to pick up on his work when he was too lazy busy to complete it and having reports ready for any meetings, even on short notice. You looked out for him, both as a coworker and as a caring friend, and he could tell

You even helped him annoy Kunikida sometimes, which just made you even more stunning in his eyes

He felt himself falling for you more and more everyday, finding excuses to stay in the office just to be next to you. “(Y/N), please don’t strain yourself my dear! Let me handle this for you, I would be a terrible suitor if I didn’t.” “Dazai, I just have to staple these- nevermind, thank you my knight wrapped in bandages!”

Kunikida would of course hate this and drag him out every time, but all that it concluded in was Dazai whining and complaining about how it was so unfair that he was being kept from his “precious (Y/N)” and how they must be so lonely without him. It got to a point where Kunikida made a compromise with him: if he actually does some work and help on the field missions, then he can spend more time with you in the office

I feel like they forget that Dazai is actually crazy smart and most likely already knows the culprits to whatever cases that they are handling, and he was definitely waiting for this outcome. No extra work for him and more time with you. It’s a win-win!

When he does eventually accept that he was in too deep, he started to take his advances in a more serious manner (I mean he was always being serious but he was not going to hold back anymore). He’s a great listener, so anything that said wanted that was said in passing conversation, expect it to be on your desk with a little sticky note. You had a strong craving for something? What do you know, Dazai brought just enough for both of you to share (and he gave you the bigger portion of it). You want to go see the stars? Sounds like the perfect date night for you two!

That’s how he actually confessed to you, right underneath the stars. It was perfect, you guys were away from everyone, having an amazing time just stargazing. He couldn’t remember the last time he felt this at peace, and you were to thank for that. He knew that while he was risking his life on a daily basis, but you were constantly fighting for yours. You couldn’t even go on a mission with how easy it was for you to get an injury you couldn’t recover from. But he had faith in you and in himself, that he wouldn’t let another person that he cares for perish in front of him. He made that promise to you, and that he would do everything in his power to keep it. He will not fail you

After that night, your dates were usually held at your place, and it ranged from cooking together to having movie nights. You didn’t have to spend money really, you were both fine in the house in each other’s arms. And if you did get sick, you thought he was clingy before, WHEW did it get more intense

You had to push him off of you too many times to count. What part of NO HUGS did this man not get?! You were already suffering, he didn’t need to either. He did try to make this a double suicide opportunity though, and you were not very happy

Was banned from cuddles for 3 weeks straight, it was pure torture for him

You were Dazai’s distraction from this horrible joke he called a life, and he was welcoming of you. He embraced you, never complained about your weakness or anything. You were someone that he can proudly say that he loves, and that won’t ever change

Atsushi

He was so nervous, so scared. He doesn’t even know how to look everyone in the eye, how was he suppose to admit that he started to like you more than a friend?!

Atsushi was in love with you, I mean he was in deep. He couldn’t help it! You’re just so nice, so easy to talk to, always there to give him a pep talk and just keep him in high spirits. It just wasn’t fair what hand life had dealt you. He wanted to spend time with you outside of the office, but due to your delicate situation, he was so scared to. What if the Port Mafia tried to strike and he wasn’t strong enough or quick enough to protect you? He wouldn’t be able to forgive himself if you died because of him. He wouldn’t be able to live-

So he tried (keyword: tried) to spend time with you at work. But with Kunikida on his ass about work, and Dazai being Dazai making his life difficult for his own amusement, made it difficult. Every time he got a chance, before he could even speak a word, someone needed him for something. If he did somehow had the spare time to talk to you, he would either choke or say something that he really meant but chickened out last minute and tried to change it (which was kinda your fault, you like to tease him sometimes too)

“So, um, (Y/N). I remembered that you said you liked that one takeout spot, so if you want I can bring you some back?”

“You would do that for me, Atsushi? Wow, it’s almost like you’re like my boyfriend!”

“Yep, I don’t mind! It makes me happy when you’re hap-w-WAIT HU-“

But besides that, he always checked on your whenever he got back from his missions (even if he was the one injured and bleeding), brought you back small trinkets or food, and always walked you home, not caring if it was out of his way

He hated that you were confined to the office majority of your time working, but he was worried that literally anything could and would happen on his watch, and he didn’t want to risk it. With Kyoka tired of watching him in distress and even Dazai showing a sliver of compassion for him, they helped him set up an inside date

But first, he had to ask you. Dazai wanted him to do some elaborate, over the top, proposal for asking you out (which Atsushi was pretty sure that he just wanted him to panic and embarrass himself) and Kyoka suggested that he gets you tofu (which he was also convinced that she just wanted some again). He decided that he was just going to have to suck it up, and do it himself. He has been through Hell and back, and if he survived that, then he could ask you on a date damn it!

So he finally got some courage, and directly went up to your desk. When you looked up, you flinched back. What was with the intense look in his eyes?! But you realized soon enough when he bowed and asked you to come over for a date. And of course you said yes!

The date was marvelous, and the poor boy was sweating so much you thought he was going to pass out! Whatever Dazai and Kyoka did to the place blew his expectations out of the water. Latern lights strung up along the walls, your favorite meals readied, little messages stuck to the wall made just for you, and the biggest/most comfortable blanket fort that you had ever seen. It sounded so simple, but one look into your eyes and you were overjoyed. He really did mean it that it made him happy that you were happy

He confessed with you snuggled into his side, so anxious yet at ease. Despite everything that he has gone through, you were brave too. You were stuck in that stressful environment, had a body that could quit on you after one bad day, yet you still encouraged him every day, every time you spoke to him after he’s had a bad day, or an encounter with Akutagawa. He was so convinced that he didn’t you, that he didn’t deserve anything good in his life after the abuse he endured at the orphanage. But you didn’t let him believe that for a second, and he’s indebted to you for that

He poured his heart out to you that night, and ever since, he’s been a lot more confident, both in his ability and in himself. You gave him that push in the right direction to trust himself more, and everyone could see the change (Dazai was pretty proud to be honest)

Dates after that were spent at his apartment, relaxing. Once in a blue moon, you guys would go to the arcade where he won you guys matching Tiger phone charms (he was a little embarrassed but he loved you and the charms too much to let it affect him)

If you did become ill, he would panic so bad that you had to bring him back down to Earth while hacking up a lung (not literally but it felt like it). He tries his best, he’s a little shaken because of how distraught he would get due to your fragile body, but he does care for you pretty well. If you need anything, he was too scared to leave you so Kyoka would be his go-to (with the promise of tofu afterwards)

(But don’t worry she’s a little worried for you too)

Atsushi knew he could never forget the horrors that he experienced at the orphanage, but you reminded him of the strength he had to not let it hold him back. He was your hero without a doubt, but you were his in the sense of how strong you really are, and how you didn’t know or believe it when he told you. You became an overall positive influence on his life, and helped him see life a little brighter and more meaningful. He loves you more than you could imagine, and he would continue to prove it to you in everything that he does.

#bsd x reader #bungou stray dogs x reader #reader insert #bsd imagines #bsd chuuya x reader #bsd headcanons #bsd dazai x reader #bsd atsushi x reader #atsushi x reader #dazai x reader #chuuya x reader #osamu dazai x reader #chuuya nakahara x reader #atsushi nakajima x reader #bungou stray dogs reader insert #bsd

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elia-de-silentio · 3 years

Text

OF COURSE THEY WERE IN MEURSAULT

As soon as I saw the above panel, the name of 'Meursault' rang a bell. I'm pretty new to this fandom, but I caught up on the fact that rarely Asagiri leaves even small detail to chance or personal taste, let alone the name of the place Dazai and Fyodor have been locked in for the last few chapters, doing mind games and helping the guards realize that they're not paid enough. Meursault had to mean something, and it sounded familiar, but I couldn't quite remember where I heard it. So, I looked that up.

Uh, not exactly what I expected, through it makes sense that just like Yokohama it's a real place ...

Huh, really not what I expected ...

Now this is it!

Now, to my shame, I've never read 'The Stranger'. There will be a day when I will have read all of existentialist literature; just like there will be a day when I'll speak every language in the world and will be a famous writer. Today, it's not that day.

Still, I did a bit of research on online essays, after finding out about this.

The story is about a French man in France-occupied Algeria. The most notable thing is his lack of reaction to most that happens around him.

His mom dies? He doesn't even remember the exact day, smokes in front of the coffin, and does not shed a tear. He mets a woman who becomes his lover? Meh, he doesn't actually love her, but he likes the sex. A friend of him wants his complicity in abusing emotionally and later physically his own (Arab, so seen as an inferior) girlfriend? He doesn't see why not. The brother of the victim reacts to this by requiring a polite confrontation with a knife? He shoots him. Even when he's already dead. He complains about the heat that day. Not even ending up in prison manages to shake him. In the end, his lack of shown love for his mother is what gets him sentenced to death, rather than the actual murder or complicity with his friend, by a jury convinced that he is a monster devoid of feelings. Only at the very end, confronted by a priest, he explodes in a rant about the human condition. The novel ends with him imagining his execution in front of an hateful crowd, that will ease his loneliness.

The point to Meursault's character is his lack of reaction to the external world. He doesn't care about emotional bonds and morality, but he doesn't even bother pretending otherwise, being amoral but utterly honest and non-judgmental of others. Camus explained that he was actually writing him as someone with a strong passion for 'the truth', that is, he world as he sees is, devoid of any system of belief but also any hypocrisy. In his final days, he finds relief in the notion that the world is just as indifferent as he is.

Now, what does this remind us of?

This little speech Dazai gives Fyodor becomes very, very significant.

As they both recognize, they are so good at understanding each other because they feel 'estranged' from others in a similar way; they understand the thoughts of other people, their 'truth', and so there is no room for actual discussion. They can predict everything that happens and will happen around them, but because of that, they can't really connect to it. They're extraordinary planners, and yet, both have been 'put away' for the whole arc, separated by the people who are actually fighting and 'making the world turn'.

The prison is reflective of their state of mind: of course they are in Meursault, they are the 'Strangers'.

From here, I think I'll try a couple predictions.

First, their getting out of prison will be something very interesting.

Dazai will get out of there; likely when the Agency's name will be restored and Mushitarou will do him a little favor again, but maybe even earlier someone will need him to help fix all the mess. When he will do so, he will be confronted with vampire Akutagawa, and the discovery that he sacrificed himself for Atsushi to end up in this state; or, if the incident is resolved before the release, with the knowledge that this happened. And it was his treatment of Akutagawa, his getting him to think that his life had no value back when they were in the mafia, his making him desperate for approval, his making him think that he valued Atsushi more than him, that led to this ordeal.

As he actually cares for Akutagawa - he just sucks at demonstrating it and facing the fact that he mistreated him in the past in general - it's likely the thing will leave him shaken and, hopefully, force him to take steps towards actually helping Akutagawa, and in the process facing his past self. In other words, his leaving Meursault will be tied with reconnecting with someone, in a genuine way, instead of just using them as a 'weapon against the demons'.

As for Fyodor ... I'm a little less sure that he will leave Meursault, because unlike Dazai, he actually devalues most people, seeing them as stupid but also something in need of salvation; in any case, as inferiors (unlike Osamu 'what's so wrong with being sinfully stupid' Dazai). So, he doesn't have all this investment in no longer being a 'stranger'.

But still, I think he has high chances to get out. For one, he hasn't had a confrontation with Shin Soukoku (or any other member of the Agency besides Dazai) yet, despite causing them grief to no end. And, his goal to find the Book has found no resolution. It wouldn't be narratively satisfying.

Moreover, Gogol is currently gunning for him, with a less enthusiastic Sigma in tow. And the reason is that Fyodor showed him empathy, the most understanding he ever received, and that moved him so much that ... he decided to kill him, because Gogol is a yandere saw this connection as so deeply important, he had to drastically severe it to obtain the freedom he craves.

So, Fyodor is not so much of a 'Stranger' as he likes to think he is; he can empathize with people, not just understanding them like they're a computer algorythm, and this has consequences. I think Gogol - and maybe Sigma too - will be able of getting him out of this way of thinking, and so, out of Meursault.

(Or maybe the guards will just realize that they really aren't paid enough to deal with their stronzate and just shove everyone back into society as a form of rebellion against it.)

At the end of 'The Stranger', Meursault the character has quite the development in his way of thinking: while at the start of the novel he was apathetic, didn't know himself, and didn't care about a set of beliefs, when confronted with his imminent execution he has emotional outbursts, shows self awareness, and a personal way to see the world that, even if it's rather nihilistic, will defend even to the point of turning down his chance to escape death. He comments that he will no longer be alone, finding a sort of communion to other human beings in the indifference the world has for them.

Dazai and Fyodor, likewise, will get out of that mental space, and stop, in their own ways, being 'strangers'

The second thing I can say, is that the very instant Dazai will be out of jail, he'll buy Chuuya some of that fancy Meursault wine, and put cyanide in it; cyanide, that is, if Chuuya is lucky.

Thanks to everyone who bothered to listen to my ramblings!

#bsd #bsd dazai #bsd fyodor #bsd meta #bsd theory #bungou stray dogs

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nameless-shrimp · 3 years

Note

Okay but- Cinderella Chuuya. I am absolutely about to rewrite the entire fairytale to fit this. Cause I am trash like that LOL

SAD ENDING I'm sorry, I didn't mean to make it sad, it just happened ;-;

Spelling and grammar mistakes

Chuuya had everything. A loving mother and father, all the pets he could ever want. Really, he didn't want for anything. However, he was never meant to keep these things. His father passed away young, and despite Chuuya's age, he stepped up to help his mother. The handsome young redhead worked any job he could and helped his mother in every he was able. And as the years passed his mother remarried. He didn't like his new step-father. The man didn't treat the redhead well. Not to mention his new twin step-brothers where not kind at all. All the manors that his father had taught him, clearly hadn't been taught to the twins. Still, they where respectable enough to his mother, so he no room to say anything.

And then it happened. Chuuya's mother fell ill and passed away. His step-family hardly did anything. The work on the up keep of the house was left to Chuuya. It was his family's house after all. the redhead would not see it fall into disarray. his step-father and brothers barely worked either. Seemingly everything was left to Chuuya. From cooking, to bringing money in, to cleaning. He had already needed to move to the attic. Still, Chuuya remembered what his parents taught him and was polite to step-family.

"Oh, who are you?" A young lady in red dress asked Chuuya. It was currently the weekend. The red haired blue eyed young man took time to himself away from the house on the rare free weekends he had.

"I am no of great importance, M'Lady. Why I ask your name?" Chuuya said with a polite bow.

"The same could be said of me then, good sir. What brings you to this flower garden?"

"My mother. She had been found of flowers and so my father grew a garden for her. With them both gone, up keep of it had been near impossible. Yet the this garden is always in best condition. So I come here."

"Ah, yes. My father has been gone some years now. My mother currently unwell. Though, I'm just hear to relax. The beauty of all the flowers always amaze me."

"Do you know the language of flowers of?"

"I do not." It was clear young lady intended to day more, but the sound of horses in the background made her turn to leave. "It seems I don't have much time to stay and talk. I do hope we meet again, good sir."

"Fare well, M'Lady."

Chuuya would see the young lady again. A few times. Never for long. But they both greatly enjoyed the others company. And then roughly a month later they met once more. At a ball the royal family is throwing. There he discovered that the young lady he met that day is Princess Y/N. He was stunned to say the least. But even there time at the ball was cut short. he could only stay until midnight.

Chuuya was unable to met Princess Y/N after that. No matter how many times Chuuya went to the hidden garden, the Princess didn't show. The flowers that grew there changed though. The flowers that grew there now meant, "I'm sorry", "Forgive me", "I miss you", "I love you."

oh my gosh, sky. this was so nice to read. i loved every bit of it. it pains me to think of chuuya in pain, always consistently doing all the work—as expected from the story of cinderella, but aw, i love the fact that he encountered the princess that night. the image of him being stunned makes me smile. if you write this, i truly hope that there shall be a happy ending between him and the princess. this warms my heart; he's capable of happy endings.

may i add onto this with my own drabble...

A disordered mess he was. Dirty dishes laid out in the sink as he swears underneath his breath; skin scrapped from the consistent run of water underneath his pruned fingers. Chuuya shakes his head. Scrunching his nose, he heaves out a sigh. Rumors went on about a royal ball, and despite encountering the princess, he imagines a moment with her. Bright dress curved around her figure; gleaming smile painted on her joyous expression. If a life was meant to be filled with a happy ending, Chuuya's life was not that, though threw his rag to the side. Blue eyes staring out the window. Light reflecting a new world that was more fascinating rather than the indoors of his dark and creaky home. Maybe he was capable of finding a true happy ending; only for Chuuya, himself.

i haven't written anything in a week so this was needed, hehe. thank you for sharing your beautiful works as always, sky! this brought a beautiful smile to my face. i love reading more about chuuya and brainrotting with you, as always and forever will. 💖🥰

#asks: shrimp's chuuya drabbles #asks: sky drgn #chuuya fics: sky drgn

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afinepricklypear · 3 years

Text

**Update: The works mentioned in this post have since been taken down. The “message” was removed by AO3 because it was a violation of their TOS and it seems the author chose to remove their “opinions” piece.**

Despite the ongoing world crisis, I hope everyone is doing great as the year comes to a close and prepping for a safe holiday season.

I don’t really post here a lot, but I just wanted to talk about a problem that exists in every fandom and has recently come up for me in the BSD fandom. This problem is typically referred to as: toxic behavior, however, I sort of hate that term because it’s an umbrella term that encapsulates a wide array of behaviors that is purposefully vague so as to imply everything can be toxic, which means the definition changes depending upon the person, and ends up getting thrown around to describe any behavior that a person dislikes. That said, most people can agree that the term ‘toxic behavior’ includes “shipper wars” and harassing people because of their “ship”.

Yesterday, a user on AO3 going by the penname E_C_arts posted a message titled “deer Soukoku fans” and giving it the not-innocuous summary “please we’re begging you, please stop”. Clicking through leads to a rather prime example of this particular flavor of toxic fandom behavior, guised as an attempt to defend those who were allegedly victims of this self-same behavior, also a lovely example of emotional manipulation.

Although what’s currently posted (and what I managed to screen shot below) may not seem terrible on first glance, if not a little cringey, and can be easy to agree with (don’t bully people that write for a ship you dislike), this was not their original message and has been edited since being posted and, and only after receiving the number of comments it did and which they’re now noting as “proving their point” – a point which they erased, thus manipulating perceptions. I wish I had gotten a screenshot of the original, but if you scroll through the comments, you can find some people that quoted it.

This person most definitely did open their “message” to Soukoku fans by literally telling them to “stop writing” for it. They claimed there was some unspecified AU (or maybe multiple unspecified AUs) that had been overwritten for, that it was overused, and not original. They went on to talk about how the abundance of soukoku content was turning off new fans to the series (don’t even know how that logics…) and bullying people from creating content for other ships, basing these irrational sentiments off some false claim that removing everything with the soukoku ship from the fandom would only leave behind a sad, inacccurate (and oddly specific) 305 posts.

Evidence of their now deleted perspective can be further seen in another post they made to AO3 a couple days before this ugly rant. Titled simply “My unpopular BSD opinions”, they didn’t manage to garner much attention and went mostly ignored because, well, it’s your opinions about the show and that’s whatever. Of course, when you click into it, the very first “opinion” shared, is that they hate Dazai x Chuuya. Okay, that’s an opinion everyone is entitled to, and that’s fine. You don’t like the popular ship, that’s…not exactly an unpopular opinion, there’s quite a number of people that don’t ship soukoku. No problem. Until, they go on to elaborate.

Despite the title of this piece being ‘their opinions’, they state as ‘fact’ that its confirmed that this is “not a thing”, so ‘please stop shipping them it doesn’t work, it’s way too overused for it to be “funny” anymore’ (I’m a little confused about this wording, because Shipping is Serious Business™, so…not sure there are too many soukoku shippers doing it because they think it’s hilarious or whatnot, in fact, most soukoku fics are tagged ‘angst’, which we all know, angst is very ‘haha, lol’…but whatevs). They then include the same sentiment they expanded on in their Dear John to soukoku fans and subsequently deleted: “Please stop, there are too many au’s with almost the exact same plot Chuuya and Dazai being together, its really difficult to find any non-Dazai x Chuuya au’s”.

On the surface, once again, there are some “truths” to this sentiment. DaiChuu is a popular ship and there is a disproportionate amount of soukoku ship fics on the fandom comparative to other ships (soukoku comes in at a whopping 10,000+ currently, with the next popular ship Aku/Atsushi sitting at a decidedly less 2500+). It’s really not that difficult to find non-DazaixChuuya fics, if you know how to use filters on AO3, but there are going to be less to read from when you filter it down, and depending on your ship, you may find yourself in a fic desert, and I can certainly understand why someone young and lacking in rational thought processes might want to blame the popular ship for this predicament.

The problem with this logic, and it permeates every fandom, not just BSD, is that the shippers sharing and loving their ship are not to blame for your lack of ship content. You just don’t have a popular ship. If all the people who love soukoku stopped creating content for it, as this person is ‘begging’ them to do, that’s not going to increase the amount of content for your ships, because the reason that content isn’t being created is because there aren’t enough shippers for it. So, the only way this person’s logic works, is if what this person is actually saying, isn’t that they want these people to stop creating content for the BSD fandom, they just want them to jump ship, stop creating content for soukoku and start creating content for their ships.

Any creator/fan is going to have a visceral reaction to that: who the fuck are you to tell me what to create? And for free, no less!

This moves us more towards a clearer definition of what is toxic fandom behavior. In short, its telling anyone how they should interact with or interpret their favorite content. I mean, even Word of God does not have this power. That’s because every single fan in a fandom is an individual human being. They are possessed of their own autonomy, and as a creator I know, that once you put something out into the world and give it over to others, you have little control over how people consume and feel about your work. You can tell them your intention, but that’s not going to sway them to interpret it that way, and that’s…just the way it works.

Now, the elephant in the room needs to be addressed. It’s easy for me to be ‘offended’ by this person’s post and not see their complaints because I am a soukoku fan. I’m also the target of this person’s rant, and one of those people this person is attempting to emotionally manipulate into writing for other ships in the fandom for which I have no preference. But I am capable of seeing the other side of this argument.

First, because I do have other fandoms in which I am part, and for which I have a rare-pair ship. For example, I am a Gundam Wing fan and a 2x5 (Duo/WuFei) shipper. I’ve posted two 2x5 fics on fanfiction.net. While 2x5 is not the rarest of rarepairs in the Gundam Wing fandom, it is significantly eclipsed (as are almost *all* ships in the fandom) by the 1x2 (Heero/Duo) ship. Do I hate 1x2 shippers for my lack of 2x5 content? No. I just appreciate what I’ve got all the more, and I’ll create content for it when I feel compelled, and I sure the fuck won’t implore 1x2 shippers to stop writing for their fave and write more for mine because I want more 2x5 – that’s sheer entitlement, right there, pure and simple. I also ship 3xD (Trowa/Dorothy) in Gundam Wing, which *is* the rarest of rarepairs – I think there’s only, like, two stories in existence that features this pair on the entirety of the internet. I’m also a RavenxMurphy (Murven) shipper in The 100 fandom and I do not hate Bellarke fans because…those people are scary and have canceled the show’s creator for not delivering on Bellarke, and in BSD, I ship Atsushi/Lucy (yes, I said it, they’re cute af and I hope Asagiri delivers on that ship). I also low-key ship Yosano/Ranpo (sorry, Ranpo/Poe shippers, I understand the appeal, I just think him and Yosano is sooo cute, please don’t kill me…), and I also ship Yosano with Kunikida – all of which are some of the rarest in the BSD fandom.

Second, because I have seen and called out shipping harassment in the BSD fandom, so I am well aware that this kind of thing exists – as it exists literally everywhere and in every flavor. Against soukoku shippers from antis and by soukoku shippers against shippers putting Dazai or Chuuya with any other characters and by soukoku shippers against other soukoku shippers that are, uh, “doing it wrong”. None of these is appropriate. You’re not fighting fire with fire if you’re an anti-attacking the popular ship, you’re just creating a bigger fire and burning the entire fandom down. You’re not defending your ship if you are a soukoku fan attacking non-soukoku fans, you’re just punching down by attacking a less popular ship. And top/bottom arguments aren’t just toxic, they’re also deeply entrenched in fetishization of same sex pairings through a forced heteronormative lens and is, kind of, sort of, actually homophobic in its basis (yes, I said it. It’s ignorant and homophobic and trying to argue with ‘personality/physical traits’ as evidence of who serves what position in the bedroom can be emotionally and mentally damaging to members of the LGBTQ community. Claiming that Chuuya should be bottom because he’s shorter/smaller, or that Dazai has ‘bottom energy’ because he’s more flamboyant and ‘feminine’ is straight up discrimination – a shorter guy can definitely be top, and a manly man can be bottom, it’s not a behavior based on perceived gendered traits, it is just a fucking preferred sexual position, and no, you are not ‘fixing it’ by purposely using positions for these characters that eschews the stereotypes either. Trying to justify positioning by personality/physical traits at all, in any way, shape, or form is just not okay – if it’s your preference, it’s your preference, no justification needed, just recognize that it is *your* preference and arguing what’s ‘right/wrong’ positioning is just plain wrong).

But this brings us to a different issue: bad actors and blaming a whole community for a ‘few rotten apples’. I could easily lump this one person in with everyone that does not ship soukoku and deem them all toxic, aggressive, entitled, bullies attempting to harass soukoku shippers off the platform. Or I could see them for what they are, individuals with individual motivations and drives and morals that also happen to share the same shipping preferences. Is it true to say that there are no soukoku fans that engage in the behaviors described by E_C_arts? No, there are definitely those that do, as there are antis that engage in that same behavior against soukoku fans. But this person also asserts that soukoku fans turning ‘every BSD post about soukoku’ is also a toxic behavior. To which I refer you back to one. This is how they engage with and interpret the work. Don’t yuck on someone else’s yum. People want to gush about how cute they thought soukoku were in an official art, or that they felt there was some hidden (or not so hidden) interaction between them that validates their ship, or their inspired to create soukoku content based on it, so what (for the record, it irks me too when people go ‘see it’s canon and Bones totally ships it’, because it’s unlikely, given BSDs genre, that any romantic relationship will be confirmed, soukoku notwithstanding). It is not, in fact, toxic to gush over it. Let them have their fun with it, let them enjoy their ship. Now, if you go and make a comment about liking the art for other reasons and they reply to you about “…but also soukoku”, then still, that’s not toxic, that’s just them enjoying the content the way that they enjoy it, so let them enjoy it, and you opened yourself to engagement without any qualifiers for the type of engagement you were soliciting, you can’t then backtrack and go ‘but I’m not a soukoku shipper, they should’ve been able to read my mind and known that, it’s totally toxic of them to share their personal reasons for loving the show in response to my sharing my love for the show’. But if you comment about another ship, and they reply to you “…ew, gross! It’s 100% soukoku” then yes, that’s toxic. A lot of people fail to make this distinction, that they are, maybe, merely being triggered and not actually harassed, by feeling like their ship isn’t being validated because they see another ship all over the place and everyone they engage with ships it.

It’s also toxic, to take an experience with one person and hold every soukoku shipper in existence responsible for that one person’s inappropriate behavior. The truth is, that bad actors amongst soukoku fans are not unique, not to the ship and not to the fandom and not even to fandom culture in general. Every group in existence everywhere has bad actors in it that, while the group disavows their behavior, they continue to be held accountable for those individuals and judged by them. For current events, look at how the BLM movement has been blamed for bad actors (many of whom were not actually BLM activists) that took advantage of the protests and started riots and chaos. A small percentage of people were involved in these behaviors, but the entire movement, despite speaking out against rioting, continues to take the blame for it. For me, that’s the root of toxicity. We need to start holding individuals accountable and stop blaming people who have no control over those individuals, because they share a few similar beliefs or interests. That’s throwing the baby out with the bathwater. But the shippers as a whole are not to blame for the actions of a few, and the reason that it feels that there are so many more soukoku fans that do this is because of volume, there are so many more soukoku fans. It’s basic math. If two percent of fans are these toxic kinds of shippers, then there’s going to be so many more of them in a larger population than a smaller one.

I try to call out toxic behavior, no matter if it’s my ship being lambasted or one of my fellow shippers doing the lambasting, whenever I see it, but the trouble is, I don’t typically go into fan content that isn’t for my ship and, thus, I don’t see it. The same goes for the vast majority of soukoku fans out there. We’re here for soukoku content, we’re seeking out soukoku content, and avoiding what isn’t soukoku content. But here is my offer to all of those who are outside of my ship. I like to argue. If someone is harassing you for having a non-soukoku ship, call me, let me know, I will argue with them for you. I will explain to them in no uncertain terms, and in many unpleasant ways, that they do not represent the soukoku shipping community and they are an embarrassment to us. Content for any and all ships is welcomed and encouraged within the fandom. Write, draw, contribute, be a part of the fandom and express yourself, please. If you are a soukoku shipper (or even if you’re not), and someone is harassing you about your top/bottom preference, call me, let me know, I will argue with them for you. I will explain to them why their justifications for which character should be top or bottom in a same sex pairing is grossly misrepresentative and exploitative of the LGBTQ community and rather disgusting. Do not assume that because we seem to remain silent on these types of harassment that it’s because we are in agreement with them, it is only because we haven’t seen them – why would we, we’re not going in those spaces that weren’t created for us. Ask the community for help, don’t attack the rest of us for the poor actions of a few that we were not even aware of. Let us help you in policing them, rather than assuming we don’t care. We are just too busy staying in our lanes, but if you need us, we are here. Majority of us want a clean, friendly, welcoming community for creators of all types as much as you do.

All of this aside, there are spaces and places for these debates and AO3 is not it. Posting this kind of message is actually a violation of AO3 TOS, constituting as harassment, which is defined on the AO3 TOS as “…any behavior that produces a generally hostile environment for its target…”( https://archiveofourown.org/tos#IV.G.). This general behavior also falls into the realm of another kind of toxic fandom behavior: hijacking a platform/tag for your own purposes that is a direct contradiction to its express usage (otherwise, known as trolling). AO3 is for posting fan-made content that contributes to a deeper understanding and expansion upon the original work. Using AO3 to attack people who are using AO3 for exactly what it is designed to be used for is an abuse of the platform. It’s not okay and invites similar content that will ultimately interfere with the original purpose of the platform. AO3 is for fan content, not for your own personal rants about other people in the community, please keep it that way

I do also want to note, that this person choosing to edit their post after receiving the justified ire from fans (notably soukoku and non-soukoku fans alike upset by the audacity of this person, who, as far as can be told, has never themselves contributed fanfiction to the community, to tell people what they can and cannot write) for their original comments, is a form of manipulative abuse called ‘gaslighting’. They are now claiming to be a victim that “never said to stop writing”, despite that having been the literal words they used in the opening of their original post. They are now pointing at these comments as “proof” of their point that soukoku fans are aggressive bullies that attack without cause when there was definitely cause from the original comments. This person clearly has bigger issues than just lacking shipper content for their personal preferences on the BSD fandom.

To all of those who are afraid to share content for your ship because you think you’ll be harassed, as evidenced by this person’s claims, that is simply not true. While there might be one or two people that say something, we all get them no matter if you have a popular ship or a rarepair ship, haters are gonna hate – I’ve gotten my share of hateful comments towards my ships too, but there are many more people that share your ship and are interested in your content, in fact, some of them are starved for it. While having a rarepair might mean you’ll garner less interactions with your content, you have a better opportunity to form a deeper bond with the people that do interact, and they may be more appreciative, because what you’re delivering to them is so much harder to come by. The existence of one ship does not affect your ship’s popularity, and if it simply went away, that doesn’t mean that your ship would receive more attention – in fact, it might mean the show itself would receive less attention.

Create and let others create and use platforms for their appropriate purposes, and most importantly, when it comes to addressing toxic behavior in a fandom, look to yourself first. Are you placing the blame where it belongs? Are you addressing the root cause of the problem or swinging blindly and attacking innocent bystanders in the process? Will what you say actually help the problem? Or will it contribute to the issue, and maybe even create an issue that didn’t exist before?

#fanfiction #fanfic #bsd #bsd fanfic #soukoku #daichuu #dazai x chuuya #shipper war #toxic fandom behavior #toxic people #toxic #AO3 #bullying #harassment

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cakers-2000 · 4 years

Text

~Time Flies~ (Chuuya X Fem!Reader)

I’m just really proud of how this came out so please enjoy

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

You could remember the day you met Chuuya Nakahara like it was yesterday.

You were new to the Port Mafia. Well, sort of new.

You had hung around the Port Mafia plenty of times in your young life. Your father was their lowest ranking member Oda Sakunosuke so you had already been introduced to at least Ango Sakaguchi and the suicidal maniac himself Dazai Osamu. You hung around Dazai quite a lot, he was around your age and he always seemed to be hanging around your father so it wasn't too long before some kind of relationship started to bloom between the two of you. It wasn't too long either before you found yourself being invited to join the Port Mafia. And it again wasn't too long before you accepted and joined the organization.

Your fighting was trash, but you spoke extremely eloquently and so you became a low ranking spy. Gathering information would be a cinch, but you'd have to work on your fighting skills.

But it took a few more years before you met Chuuya.

Even at the age of 15 he was loud. Arrogant and a bit of a show off. but despite that you strangely found yourself drawn to him. But why?

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

At first he was rather cold to you. When you tried to introduce yourself he shrugged you off, merely replying to your enthusiastic hello with a 'piss off'.

It wasn't the best first greeting.

But you persisted.

You made it a personal mission to bug the boy at least once every day and sure enough, your dumb idea worked. He began to reciprocate your greetings and would even hold conversation with you though most of the time he looked extremely uninterested and spoke in a monotone and bored voice.

But on very rare occasions you would see his lips curve into a smile as he listened to you ramble on and on. True smiles of Chuuya joy were very rare and hard to come by.

Though it did take an awful lot of time, your relationship with Chuuya Nakahara began to form.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"He's gone (Y/N). He's fucking gone."

You perked your head up at the sound of Chuuya stumbling into your bedroom. You hadn't even invited the boy through the front door, but you only sighed to yourself. Of course he would just let himself in. He leaned himself against the door frame, bottle of wine in one hand while his other hand held onto his phone with a tight grip.

"Chuuya are you okay?"

You cautiously approached the older boy with nothing but concern in your eyes. He swayed precariously back and forth, ready to topple over at any moment.

"That asshole left without saying a word."

The closer you got to him the stronger the scent of alcohol became. The bottle he currently held hadn't even been opened yet, but he was drunk off his ass.

"Chuuya, maybe you should lie down."

"I don't need to lie down, I need to get a hold of that bastard. How could he just leave me like that?"

His words were slurred. He attempted to take an angry step forward but nearly fell. You panicked, letting out a small 'eep' and ran in front of him so that he could fall in your arms rather than on the hardwood floor. He didn't move himself from your grip and the bottle in his hand fell to the floor, though thankfully it didn't so much as crack.

"Are you... Are you talking about Dazai?"

"Who else would I be talking about? That no good dirty..."

His voice became muffled as he turned his head forward so that he was practically speaking into your chest and you let out a shaky sigh, your cheeks a bright red. Jesus Christ why me?

You attempted to stand the boy back upwards but his arms wrapped themselves firmly around your waist as he once more turned his head to the side.

"I just need a drink. Juuuuuuust one, then I'll go find that damn asshole and teach him a lesson."

"Chuuya you've already had a drink."

"I just need oneeeeee."

"Chuuya you're drunk."

He shot his head backwards so that he was locking up at you, a look of offense on his features. "I'm not drunk. I haven't even had a... a... a drip."

You couldn't help but laugh at his slurred and broken speech. "You mean drop."

He giggled to himself, finding something amusing but you had no clue what he was laughing about.

"Ooooookay, we're putting you to bed."

This time he didn't fight against you, his body seemed to agree and you helped him stumble over to your bed and helped him lay down before throwing the covers on top of him.

He was out the second his head hit the soft pillow. You smiled slightly at the sight. He looked so peaceful as he slept, nothing like the loud and cocky man that you knew when he was awake. You let out a sigh and grabbed the book you had been reading from off of the comfy mattress and shook your head, preparing to spend the rest of your night on the couch.

"You're lucky I love your ass."

You would never in a million years utter those words to him while he was awake.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"Chuuya I swear to god if you say one more fucking word..."

He really did test your patience sometimes.

"You're a fucking idiot you know that?"

And sometimes his words could hurt.

"Excuse me!? How am I the idiot!? You're the one fucking bleeding out because you won't go to a fucking hospital!"

"You're the one who wouldn't move! What kind of dumbass sees someone aiming at them with a fucking gun AND STAYS IN THE SAME SPOT!? You're lucky I was there to save your ass!"

"I had things under control!"

You felt his arm, that was currently swung around your shoulders, tense as his anger rose. "Under control!? He was going to shoot you! They had you found out! How is that under control!?"

"I COULD'VE HANDLED IT!"

You both froze for a second. It took a lot for you to lose your cool, especially for you to lose it at him. In fact, that was the first time you had ever screamed at him like that. You turned your head away from his gaze, instead looking on the other side of you.

"I don't need you guys babying me like my dad did alright? I can take care of myself..."

He snickered to himself and you turned to glare at him but found that he had a smile on his face. And he was laughing.

"What the hell is so funny!?"

"I don't 'baby you'."

"Wha- YES YOU DO! You're the biggest culprit asshole! God I can't even go on my own mission without you trailing me!"

"(Y/N) I'm not an idiot." His gaze fixed directly on you, somewhat harsh and you looked everywhere but at him. "I know what you are and aren't capable of. You don't have the skills yet to be taking on jobs without any kind of protection. It's not babying you."

"Oh come on Chuuya! I've been in the same rank since I was 16! Mori's never going to let me go out on my own!"

"Because you aren't ready." He gestured down to his stomach, the wound still clear and he grit his teeth as he started to move the both of you forwards again. "This is clearly a testimony. What were you going to do if I hadn't been there?"

"Well..."

"Exactly."

You sighed and fixed your gaze onto the ground, falling into silence now as you couldn't argue against his words, though he could tell you were still upset.

"I guess... I do KIND OF baby you."

You smiled a tad bit and turned to face him, winking towards him with a cheeky smile. "It's cause you love me huh?"

You had never seen his face so red before.

"NO! THAT'S NOT IT! I just... I just think Oda would've appreciated it..."

"You barely knew my dad Chuuya."

"IT'S NOT BECAUSE I LIKE YOU DUMBASS! God I never should've even said anything to begin with!"

You only laughed at his hostile and angry tone and listened to him yell at you as you steered him in the direction of the nearest hospital. There was no way in hell you were going to let his stubborn ass get away from receiving treatment.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

It wasn't long after your visit to the hospital and Chuuya had gotten himself stitched up that he confessed his feelings to you, and your romantic relationship truly blossomed.

You were surprised to find that most of the Port Mafia supported the two of you, and even more surprised to find that there was a certain Executive that didn't support you.

"I'm busy you know."

You smiled cheekily as you sat in his lap, holding onto his cheeks as you nuzzled his nose with your own. Normally in the office setting he would push you away, he'd barely hold your hand in front of his fellow Executives and subordinates but you were sat in his own personal office, in a space all your own.

"I went for a walk today. You'll never guess what I found."

"You want to bring another cat home?"

You nodded and pressed your forehead against his own, the cheeky smile still there. "How did you know?"

"(Y/N), we don't need another cat."

"But Chuuya she was an old lady! It's harder for the older cats to find a home!"

"No (Y/N)."

You pulled your face away from his and crossed your arms over your chest, slightly pouting. "Oda would've let me bring her home..."

He chuckled at your pouty tone and moved his face closer to yours, clasping your hands in his own but stopped at the creaking sound of his door opening. His smile instantly fell to a thunderous glare and he looked over your head to see who had interrupted your moment without so much as a knock.

"What do you want, Old Lady?"

There was only one person Chuuya called Old Lady. You turned yourself around to see Kouyou standing there, her pink kimono sleeve covering her mouth as she gave the two of you a disapproving stare.

"Chuuya, what are these rumors I hear?"

His hands fell to your waist and he gently pushed you to the side. You got the hint and stood up off of his lap and instead sat on his desk.

"Rumors?"

Her eyes fell to you, the disapproving look worsening and you couldn't help but feel a tad bit self conscious.

"If a Mafia Executive is going to be fooling around with anyone, shouldn't it at least be with another Executive? Not a..." Her eyes stayed fixed on you for awhile and you could tell by Chuuya's balled up fists that he was already irked. "Not a subordinate?"

"My personal life has nothing to do with you. What gives you the right to-"

"Chuuya."

She interrupted him mid sentence and he grit his teeth. You could hear him audibly growling in anger. You placed your hand on top of one of his, hoping to calm him though it seemed to do nothing or very little at all.

"I practically raised you from the age of 15 onward. I think I know what and who is best for you. And it's not..." She pondered in her head for a bit, seeming to find the right words but sighed. "Her."

You frowned at her harsh tone. "Hey..."

"She simply isn't good enough for you Dear. I raised you to only accept the finer things in life did I not? There are plenty of females out there worth your affection, but she is not one of them. A subordinate is equal to a peasant. An executive is equal to a king. A peasant and a king just don't belong together."

You couldn't lie. Her words hurt. You stared down at the floor, refusing to meet her eyes that had refused to leave your form since she first entered the room. The more she talked the more anger that festered within him until he popped.

"SHUT UP!"

She was shocked at his outburst and finally drew her eyes away from you and onto him. "Excuse me?"

"I am perfectly capable of making my own decisions. I get to choose who is and isn't best for me, it isn't your place. You may have raised me but that doesn't mean I have to give a shit about your opinion. I'm not going to tolerate you talking shit about my girlfriend and spewing bullshit about how she 'isn't good enough for me'. That's nothing but bullshit lies." He let out a scoff, and pointed towards his office door that had still been left open. A few subordinates had their heads poked around the doorframe, watching the scene unfold before them. "Get out."

Kouyou stared at him in obvious shock, though not moving an inch. His temper was already shot. The red aura of his ability surrounded his body and the floor around him crumbled to pieces.

And she finally got the message. She sauntered out of the room, not without giving you one last disapproving stare and closed the door behind her.

You cautiously got up off of the desk as the aura faded away and wrapped your arms around him tightly in both a way to calm his nerves and to say thank you. He instantly hugged you back, allowing you to bury your face in the crook of his neck.

"I'm sorry..."

Though your voice was muffled he could still hear you speak. "It's okay Chuuya, it's not your fault. I never really liked Kouyou anyways."

He chuckled as your breath hit his skin and nuzzled your hair with his nose. "I know but... You shouldn't have had to listen to that in the first place."

You smiled and moved so that you were facing him and grabbed his face in your hands. You placed a sweet kiss on his lips, lingering for a second when you pulled away as you saw a rare smile fall onto his face. "I'm just glad you stuck up for me..."

"Well I wasn't just going to let her get away with running her mouth."

You giggled and kissed his cheek before resting your head on his chest, your smile only growing as his arms hugged you tighter in a protective embrace. "I love you Chuuya."

"I love you too Princess."

~~~~~~~

Taglist:

@redflannel

#chuuya nakahara #chuuya #chuuya x reader #bungou stray dogs #bungo stray dogs #bungou stray dogs scenario

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snowingstarlight · 4 years

Text

Slip and Fall

AO3 Pairing: Dazai Osamu/Nakahara Chuuya Tag: Hurt/Comfort, Angst with a Happy Ending TW: Suicide Attempt Chapter One: Kill The Actor

Who am I? Who am I trying to be? Not myself, anyone but myself. Living in a fantasy to bury the reality, Making myself the mystery, A strong facade disguising the misery. Empty, but beyond the point of emptiness, Full to brim with fake confidence, A guard that will never be broken, Because I broke a long time ago. I’m hurting but don’t tell anyone. No one needs to know. Don’t show or you’ve failed. Always okay, always fine, always on show. The show must go on. It will never stop. The show must not go on, But I know it will. I give up. I give up giving up. I am lost. I don’t need to be saved, I need to be found .

"Depression"

By Cara Delvigne

He felt like he was drowning; crushed underneath emotion he forgot he possessed.

It was the first emotion (did it classify as an emotion?) he felt when he awoke that morning; an empty blackness that filled his body and soul and crushed him beneath dark waves of the darker emotions he often repressed. It wasn't a common feeling, but it wasn’t rare either; but something about it was different this time around. The darkness that overtook him was heavier, deeper and so... so empty .

Dazai's breath hitched as he tried to calm himself; his heart pounding in his chest despite his own confusion as he tried to pinpoint the exact reason he was feeling like this. Tears burned in the corners of his eyes as he belatedly realized what emotion was trying to spill out; it was loneliness, an ever crushing sorrow engulfing his mind and soul - an emotion causing his bones to weigh down and ache.

It took some effort to reach up and scrub his eyes until the emotions that bubbled up were wiped away momentarily; not that he really tried to shove it away, and instead Dazai let himself fall deeper into the pit he called his own soul. He never had much energy to keep his own emotions at bay, not since he had left the Mafia anyways; and wouldn’t Odasaku like to see him like this? To see him embracing these emotions instead of shoving them away, down into the inky blackness that was his soul?

The Demon Prodigy had none, to the public at least. But Dazai Osamu that was a part of the Armed Detective Agency? He had more emotions than the man knew how to deal with, thus the suffocating.

Although, Dazai doubted that Odasaku would have liked to see how he dealt with them, as he skipped breakfast in favor of a cup of coffee that was hot enough to burn his tongue; rich enough in smell that it helped him evade the nausea that clogged his stomach from the fact he hadn’t eaten since lunch yesterday, and black enough he had enough energy in him to chuckle in pity of himself at comparing the color of the energy bean juice to his own soul.

It didn’t take any effort to slip on his usual mask as he dressed himself and left his apartment, not bothering to lock the door behind him as he stepped into the crisp morning air; he had nothing worthy of stealing. His feet and legs felt heavy as he headed towards the office, hands shoved until his pockets as he moved through the crowd of people like a ghost. His mind was whirling far too fast for even himself to keep up with as he sidestepped a couple passing by; a side effect of a day like this. Usually, Dazi would allow himself to stay at home, shutting off his phone and barricading the door to keep Kunikida from charging in to drag him to the office, or he’d text that he wasn’t feeling well and would spend the day sleeping as much as he could in an attempt to force himself out of his darkened mood.

However there was something different about this empty lonely feeling that he hadn’t felt since he had joined the Agency. It was, fun , to say the least - The Agency, that was - and Dazai didn’t bother putting any extra effort into his suicide attempts other than creative ways that would annoy his coworkers and supposed friends, unlike when he’d been with the Mafia. Not that he ever tried, really, never having enough energy to pour into activities outside of work, unless you counted his numerous masks, but his own facades and masks no longer took effort to keep up; as they were a second skin to him now, compared to the ones he had in the Mafia - perhaps the Demon Prodigy had been the only one that had exhausted him.

Really, the most energy he spent on a daily basis was on his own mind as he tried to keep up with his own whirling cascades of thoughts and predictions as he stayed ten, twenty , fifty , a hundred steps ahead of his enemies, and even his own coworkers.

It was whenever Dazai awoke feeling like this- drowning underneath the ever crushing overwhelming and consuming feeling of loneliness that his masks would slip up a bit; that he’d allow himself to act a bit off.

Yet, not once had it seemed to be noticed.

Not once had it seemed like anyone cared Dazai wasn’t his usual self.

Because no one cared.

His mind drifted back to the dream he had awoken from, a blip forgotten in his memory - a rare occurrence for his photographic memory - but the feeling that had seeped from that dream and into the waking world was something Dazai couldn’t shake even as he settled into his desk-chair, giving his usual chirpy “Good morning everyone!”

He couldn’t remember who it had been - someone who had no name and no face that he could recall, but somehow he knew who it was anyways and it made his stomach twist uncomfortably - but he’d been important to them. Dazai’s lips twisted into a mournful smile as he set to typing up his reports he’d been ignoring for a while now; some odd weeks at the least.

A dream, that was all it was; he wasn’t important as a person to anyone, he could go missing and no one would notice - has done so a few times before, temporarily of course - not one of them that he was surrounded by had nor would care.

Suicide - killing himself - was something he joked about often, he was even humming his silly little suicide song now as he typed without much thought in it, too wrapped up in his own obscure thoughts, and yet none of them had noticed that part of the time he wasn’t even joking about it today - and Dazai would’ve made at least three by now. Certainly they’ve gotten used to his half-assed attempts at suicide, yet had none of them realized they’d saved him a few times from an actual attempt? Not that Dazai did that often, anymore, but the thoughts still lurked in the back of his mind, clawing and gnawing at the idea that he wasn’t enough - that all he was, was a burden on everyone.

Sitting there in his chair, typing idly but diligently away, he listened to everyone chatting around him which included Kunikida stopping once in a while to bark at them to get back to work. It was a completely normal office day, ixnay his suicide jokes nor Kunikida barking at him for too long, but Dazai felt more lonely than he had in… well, perhaps since he’d gone underground for those few years to wipe his record clean. Human interaction had been sparse then and more than once had he attempted to kill himself.

It never worked though, never for him. Only humans could succeed at suicide, and wasn’t he No Longer Human?

Dazai supposed it was odd to have a dream of committing suicide that wasn’t a burden to others. It was a secret he kept close to his heart since a childhood he never had been given, but he didn’t want to be a burden on others; even if he allowed himself to act like one so often. His work got done in the end, his debts paid, but every time he acted out, it was for attention; because even though it was bad attention, attention was still attention.

No one said anything when he skipped lunch, Kunikida leaving at noon exactly for his, Atsushi and Kyouka following him; none of them invited him along, but that was expected. He often was the one who invited himself along, although it was a bit disheartening - and didn’t that just add to his terrible mood? - that none of them spared him a glance when he didn’t get up to join them with his usual loud and boisterous persona, a smile forced upon his lips just in case one of them did. The Tanizakis were out for the day, and Kenji was on a case so his usual desk was clear of the teenager, the President hardly left his office unless he was needed, same for his assistants, and Ranpo had left along with Yosano for a shopping trip that was undoubtedly sidetracked by the detective’s sweet tooth.

Dazai’s reports were finished by the time the newest detectives were back from lunch, and Dazai himself was idly playing Solitaire on his laptop in an attempt to pass the time quickly, blatantly ignoring Kunikida with a strained smile on his face as his partner screamed at him for ignoring work. There was no smart-ass reply from the elder though, and that seemed to infuriate Kunikida further, but Dazai didn’t bother paying him any more attention than the casual glance once in a while to see if he had finished with his tantrum.

He refused to be a burden on others, but he still allowed himself to enjoy a moment like this; not that Kunikida knew he had finished his reports, or that he had them sitting in his email ready to send out tomorrow morning when he’d already be gone. It’d be too much of a burden on his partner if Dazai had left the paperwork he owed along with the paperwork for finding him dead inside of his apartment for Kunikida to go through; which made his heart weigh a little heavier as he sprang up and announced in such a falsely cheerful tone that he was done for the day in what he assumed was the middle of Kunikida’s rant.

Not that any of them would notice his tone was off, none of them had before, so why would they start now? The only one who had been able to read him so clearly… he didn’t want to think about him at the moment.

Dazai forced himself to whistle a thoughtless tune as he pulled on his coat, ignoring the pang in his heart as his gaze got caught the color for a moment and his mind went to another person; someone who would’ve flourished within the Agency, a person whom Dazai was just a bad imposter of. All Dazai was… all he was, was someone who was living the life he - that Odasaku - should have been.

He flew down the staircase before anyone could even attempt to stop him; he didn’t want to read their emotions that they all wore so easily on their sleeves - except for Kyouka, perhaps (Ane-san was such a hardass with emotion training, not that it seemed to stick for someone else) - and it was easy enough to ignore the ladies’ shocked expressions and exclamations in the cafe as he paid his tab in full. Undoubtedly they were surprised, with how much trouble he gave them on paying back his debt, but Dazai’s mind was whirling out of his control again and he found his feet padding down familiar streets within a blink of an eye, no recollection of how he’d gotten there.

How long had he spaced out to get across town?

The sun was beginning to set, the orange glow eerie instead of comforting as the shadows around him grew longer alongside the voices in his head growing louder. Dazai’s heart was thumping in his throat, breathing growing erratic instead of the usual calm that unsettled his foes and - and oh, he was at Odasaku’s grave.

Instead of sitting against the grave - as if Odasaku was there with him - as he usually did, Dazai stood above it, hazel eyes trained on the name carved into the stone. Usually it wasn’t this hard to speak to his friend, but this time Dazai’s tongue sat heavy in his mouth and his throat was tight as he tried to find the words he wished to say.

“I’m sorry.” Was the first thing out, eyes closing as Dazai inhaled slowly, the smell of the autumn leaves and drying grass wafting through his nose before exhaling harshly through his mouth. “Odasaku… I tried to become a good man like you said… but I cannot carry on any longer.” Lips twisted into a sham of a smile. “What good is it, or rather, how can I be the kind of person who can help people, when I cannot even help myself? You would know, wouldn’t you, old friend?”

Oda would know exactly what to say to him, what to tell Dazai to cheer him up or set him back upon the path of becoming someone who could walk easily on the side of light... but a dead man could not utter a single word, and it wasn’t long before Dazai found himself walking the streets of Yokohama, the world around him washed out and dull in color as he made one stop for a bottle of whiskey that cost him a year’s worth of pay at the Agency before heading to his apartment, a plan that been forming and changing since that morning finally firmly settled in his mind.

Cleaning his apartment didn’t take any longer than he expected it to, the empty bottles of sake and empty or half-eaten cans of crab shoved into trash bags, floors swept and mopped until they shone, along with his multitude of books stacked nicely into a corner, away from his mattress where he sat now - his back pressed against the cold wall behind him as Dazai nursed the newly opened bottle of whiskey.

It wasn’t like Dazai owned much, anyways - except for his books, perhaps. He’d been so bored those two years he’d taken the time to read book upon book, and even though he had them memorized and hadn’t read one a second time, he didn’t have it in him to just throw or give them away. His walls were bare of any art, the mattress pressed against the wall had only sheets and one blanket, a few pillows so worn down they were nearly completely flat were stacked at the head, and a pad sat on the floor next to the mattress, his farewell note written on there along with his wishes for with who he wanted his books to end up.

It had been tempting to stop by Lupin, as he often did on these sorts of days, but it was to bid his final farewells this time, and he wanted to stop looking at the ghosts of his past just for one moment in an attempt to stop the hurt . Odasaku and Ango had been the only ones he had considered a friend at the time, and Oda had gone and left them already with such horrible parting words to Dazai, and the thought of seeing Ango again, if the man allowed a moment of his time for the ex-mafioso… it had his blood boiling under his skin and Dazai took a hefty swig of the bottle to try and drown the anger away with the burning in his throat as the rich liquid slid down his throat.

During his two years in hiding, there had been the terrible days when Dazai would curl up in his hotel room crying, silent as a mouse as his chest would ache and fingers trembled as they dialed a well-used number in his phone. He’d press his phone close to his ear as he curled into a ball in the bed, listening to the voicemail message Odasaku had left - his number bought by Dazai right before his sudden disappearance from the Mafia, and he left everything alone besides paying the bill religiously for nights like these.

One rare terribly bad night, he had ended up dialing Ango’s number - it had rung once, twice, before heading to voicemail and Dazai had nearly broken his own phone in anger at knowing Ango was avoiding him. He had just wanted to talk - wanted to desperately understand, to get some closure, but Ango was denying him that and it hurt and Dazai didn’t know how to deal with hurt by himself.

His apartment looked so little used, that it ought to belong to a ghost in his opinion. “I suppose it may now, hm?” The idea of coming back as a ghost was a terrible one, but perhaps it wouldn’t be as bad as where Dazai knew he’d end up - for there was no way someone like him would get into heaven. A sigh fell from his lips as he raised the bottle in his hand to his chapped lips and took another swig, but didn’t swallow.

Swishing the mouthful of whiskey around in his mouth, Dazai’s gaze moved from his oddly empty apartment to where his closet was, the door open and the few clothing hung inside was in plain view.

His black coat he had inherited from Mori - and had told the mafia leader he’d burnt - was what his amber hues settled on first, and a faint but true smile slowly stretched across his lips as a certain redhead he’d been forcing himself not to think of he finally allowed to cross his mind. “Chibikko will open a bottle of Pétrus at hearing I’m finally dead, although I am sure he’d be pissed it wasn’t himself that ended me.” Truly not a bad way to go, but Dazai knew that his ex-partner would forever be haunted by it if he ever truly carried out his meaningless threats.

Chuuya, he was the only one who Dazai was certain would care if he was gone, for a while at first. Certainly he’d get over his death in time, but the fact that he would have no way out of Corruption if he ever needed to use it would always have Chuuya caring about it.

He could recall a time when Chuuya would be breaking his apartment door down during a day (or night) like this, manhandling Dazai into his own apartment across the building and shoving him into the bed that was far too big for someone as small as Chuuya - or so Dazai would tease whenever he was feeling up to it. However, times like those, was when Chuuya would let Dazai fall apart and stayed there to help put the pieces of his shattered mind back together without question - never prompting Dazai to tell him what he didn’t feel comfortable saying.

Dazai always ended up telling the chibi anyways, because Chuuya was one of the two people Dazai felt comfortable enough with to open up. Yet, in one single night he’d lost both those people - Oda to death, and Chuuya on his own accord by leaving the Mafia behind.

He didn’t blame Chuuya for hating him - if their roles were reserved quite honestly Dazai knew he’d likely feel the same - for he knew Dazai as well as Dazai did, perhaps even better, and Dazai loathed himself for a number of reasons he couldn’t - wouldn’t - put into words.

Mori would be disappointed that their little game of chess they'd been playing since the death of the old boss would end. Akutagawa… his mafia protege would likely be upset it was something as simple as pills that ended up killing him, and that thought was enough to have Dazai chuckling somewhat humorlessly as he took a sip from his bottle, humming delightedly as his thoughts drifted and his heart gave a little twinge of happiness at knowing that they would care enough about his end to celebrate - or fume - it.

Kouyou would be glad that the Lad would be gone to leave her Boy alone, she never had cared for Dazai anyways - and he knew it. His soul was far too dark, it scared her… it scared a lot of people who had been able to see that side of him; except perhaps Hirotsu. The elderly man had been (and was still, Dazai assumed) oddly fond of the Soukoku placed under his care, even if they were his superiors. Would the man miss him? Dazai didn’t know.

From one coat to another did his gaze next settle upon the sandy one that he’d bought a handful of days after Oda’s death to attempt to match the man - his feeble attempt at trying to match his own wishes with Odasaku’s. His mind drifted from the Mafia to the Agency, another swig taken at knowing they’d congratulate him for finally achieving his dream of committing suicide.

Dazai hoped that Kunikida would be pleased at being re-partnered, potentially with someone who actually cared about their paperwork being on time and someone who was almost as punctual as he was. Kenji, Junichirou and Naomi weren’t people he hung around all that often at or outside of work so he didn’t know exactly how they’d react, but undoubtedly they’d enjoy the bit of peace and quiet his death would bring.

Yosano and Ranpo were the two Dazai would miss most; certainly Kunikida was his partner and he’d miss messing with him, but Yosano and Ranpo were the two that Dazai had gotten closest to. Perhaps it was Yosano’s own history with the Mafia and Ranpo’s ability (or rather, his non-existent ability) to deduce anything by a glance that he’d been drawn to, but Dazai silently cherished those moments with them; sitting quietly in Yosano’s office on the bad days when his mind was screaming too loud, exchanging sweets with Ranpo while watching the latest drama in the office unfold in front of them...

“I’m getting sentimental.” Dazai chuckled weakly, his thoughts going to his pupil; little Atsushi. Oh how he’d grown in person since he had dragged him out of the river, successfully spoiling Dazai’s most recent actual suicide attempt; he’d been distracted long enough afterward to be actually curious and defected from the idea of trying to kill himself for a while by looking after Atsushi. Sadly, his pupil had grown enough and was obviously tired of Dazai’s weird way of showing his affection, and had stopped taking him seriously.

At least the boy would have Kyouka after this; and Dazai knew she’d grow to be the person he never could. Lying in the murky waters, she would drift to the lighter side while he endlessly waded where he was; torn between the darker waters and the light ones.

Fukuzawa… was a hard one to read, the man hadn’t fully trusted him for the longest time after Dazai had joined. Not that be blamed him; he had been a suspicious person, no background and getting in by the word of Chief Taneda, well, that had made things worse.

No one but Kunikida had listened to him at first, and still it was only now that they were cooperating and needed someone with a lot of inside information on the organization that they finally listened properly to Dazai.

Dazai had been the Port Mafia’s strategist; Mori-san’s right hand man. No one had dared to not listen to him when it came to planning, although they questioned the hows and whys, they never had not followed through with one of his plans, pulling them off almost flawlessly. Chuuya had been the only one who ever defied any of them, and that was a rare occasion when something had gone wrong.

The people at the Agency had never listened fully, reacted far too quickly to emotion and senselessness. If it had come to an all-out war with the Mafia, they stood a chance by sheer will and Ability alone, but in the end they’d be wiped out at some point.

At the Agency there hadn’t been a need for schemes or planning, though his mind was put to good use figuring cases out, but it wasn’t the thrill he’d gotten used to at the Mafia. After a while, after his beginning with silly schemes and the incident with the Azure Messenger, he had stopped trying to plan with them in it directly; instead choosing to wrap his schemes and plans around them, putting other plans in motion to cause them to react in the way that Dazai knew how to get them to.

Because no one cared enough to listen, although he sometimes cared far too much about them.

He sighed as he slowly lowered the bottle of whiskey - half gone already - to pick up a bottle of sleeping pills he had nicked from Yosano’s stash a while back. She either hadn’t noticed they were gone (he had placed a similar bottle filled with ibuprofen in its place) or hadn’t said anything about it if she had.

Quite honestly, Dazai was still surprised that Fukuzawa was still placing his trust in him, even after it had come out that he’d been a Mafia Executive only a handful of years ago. Whether or not Fukuzawa knew that Dazai had been the Demon Prodigy - handpicked by Mori to succeed him at some point or another - or half of the infamous Port Mafia dou Soukoku, he didn’t know, but either way he’d begun to tread carefully around the President in case he had a change of heart.

His finger stroked the bottle for a moment before in a swift movement he had the lid popped off. Without hesitation Dazai brought the open bottle of pills to his mouth, pouring as many as he could fit into his mouth before swapping one bottle for another - grimacing at the dry taste of the pills - and drowning the pills in whiskey. It took only one other time before the pill bottle was empty, and he sat it aside as he fished over the edge of the mattress for his old phone he’d kept for reasons like this.

It wouldn’t be too long until the pills kicked in, and he’d get the painless death he so sought, but before then… before then, he’d like to hear Odasaku’s voice one last time. One last nice thing for himself, perhaps.

Scrolling quickly through his contacts, Dazai smiled grimly at the name in his contact list that he dialed far more often than anyone else before closing his eyes, tapping the call button and raising the phone to his ear.

“This is Sakunosuke Oda... why Dazai insisted on having me create this voicemail, I have no idea, however I cannot reach the phone right now, so feel free to call again later, or leave a message… now how do I turn this off?”

Was what he had been expecting to hear after hearing the phone ring to the end.

"What the fuck do you want, Mackerel?"

Was not what he’d been expecting, he hadn’t even heard the noise of the phone call being answered.

Dazai startled in surprise at hearing Chuuya’s voice, eyes opening in a flash and the bottle of whiskey nearly slipped from his hand. Instead he forced it to close tightly around the neck of the bottle, biting back his instant remark of surprise he forced the cheer into his voice. “Ahh, so the Slug did pick up after all! What a good doggy!”

He must’ve hit Chuuya’s contact name instead of Oda’s - it was right beneath the other - and now he just needed to annoy his ex-partner enough to end the phone call without letting on what was going on; not that he believed that Chuuya would come running to his rescue, but Dazai didn’t want to let on that he was dying and just wanted to hear Odasaku’s voice...

Hearing Chuuya’s was almost soothing, though.

“I’m not your dog, shitty Dazai!” Came the predicted bark, which had Dazai laughing into the cell.

“Of course you are! I say jump and you say how high after all! Though, I don’t think Chuuya could jump all that high, he is so small after all.” How he missed their constant teasing and bickering; it had been so fun to rile Chuuya up, knowing that Chuuya let him - although the reasoning behind it had always evaded the strategist.

“What the fuck did you say about my hight?! You know what, never mind. Why the hell did you call? It’s been four years , asshole.”

And how many times between then and now had Chuuya called him? How many voicemails (that Dazai could never bring himself to listen to) had Chuuya left for him? And this was the first time he had ever called the number back.

How much he wanted to say it was a slip of a finger, but then Chuuya would question why he had his old mafia phone out and-

“Maybe I just missed you, my doggy! Didn’t you miss me ?”

“What the fuck? As if! Like hell I wou-”

It was almost poetic, Dazai mused, here he was likely dying, but he never felt more alive than now; it had always been that way. For as much as he wanted to die, how empty and lifeless he felt back in the Mafia, he had never felt more alive than when he was talking to Chuuya - seemed that extended beyond their Mafia days.

Ever since the moment they had met, Dazai had been interested in his elder who, as a stark contrast to himself, had been so full of life . He had found himself falling out of his masks and persona around Chuuya so easily and quite often, yet never once had Chuuya made fun of him for it- for slipping up, or falling apart around the redhead. Chuuya… he had stayed and watched out for him, taking care of him when he fell apart… and Dazai had foolishly left that behind.

Just thinking about it made his chest hurt, or was that the drugs mixing with the alcohol? Dazai couldn't tell anymore.

It was beginning to become a struggle to stay awake, Dazai belatedly noticed; the bottle of whiskey slipped out of his hand and before he could catch it it had hit the floor with an audible crack; Chuuya's rant against missing him and threats of hanging up the phone paused momentarily. "What the fuck was that?"

"Just a mess I'll clean tomorrow," Dazai lied, his words slurring and he frowned as he realized his breathing was slowing. "I'm getting…” He hesitated, uncertain why. “I'm tired." It wasn’t an exact lie, it was getting harder to think and to process whatever Chuuya was trying to say, as if it was being ran through some language he barely knew. "I… sing to me?" He wanted to hear Chuuya's voice for as long as he could, and Dazai knew the slug could sing and well.

It seemed like it would be a nice farewell.

"Have you been drinking whiskey?" Dazai let himself indulge in the idea that there was a hint of concern in Chuuya's voice as he hummed a confirmation. Chuuya knew as well as he did that he drank sake to sleep, and whiskey to drown.

"Sing ?" He pleaded quietly instead of answering, feeling his eyelids begging to close. It was, so very selfish of him to ask - no, to make Chuuya be a part of his final moments after years of everything he'd done to the elder. But Dazai was a selfish person, he knew he always had been and always knew he would be to the very end… he couldn't confess to himself that he felt guilty for this as well.

"Oi, Dazai-" Chuuya's voice was weaving in and out of his head, words mashing together and no longer fully registering, the words like distorted noise - if he didn’t know what was happening, he’d have assumed he’d been dunked under water. Dazai nearly dropped the phone as he slouched against the wall, just stubborn enough to keep the phone up to his ear.

"Chuuya." He cut off whatever Chuuya had been in the middle of ranting. It was getting so hard to concentrate enough to speak, was this his last moment of clarity before it was all over?

He wanted to thank his old partner for being here, in his final moments, for caring enough to pick up the phone despite how many times he hadn’t when Chuuya had tried. He wanted to thank him for bickering with him like they used to before… before Dazai lost Oda, before he had lost sense of himself in those emotional days and ruined their partnership; cutting the ties they had, them being so close to each other, so very harshly that those ties were now irreparable.

Chuuya still trusted him with his life, yes, he’d proven that when they had gone up against Lovecraft and the Executive had allowed himself to use Corruption, but that was the extent of it. Not to mention how mad Chuuya must still be for not taking him to the extraction point, months ago that had been.

Dazai couldn't focus enough to express just how much Chuuya still trusting him meant to the detective. Couldn't focus on even attempting to explain his scattered thought pieces - mind still whirling even in his last moments, thoughts screaming at him so loud it hurt his ears; refusing him the chance of a quiet death.

At least it was painless physically, even though his heart ached with every stuttering beat.

He was so tired, he just wanted to sleep. Sleep sounded… divine.

"Chuuya... Goodnight."

"Osamu?!"

#BSD #Bungou Stray Dogs #Soukoku #Dazai Osamu #Nakahara Chuuya #Fanfic #My Writing #and here i am now late #whoops #tw: sucidal thoughts #tw: suicide attempt

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astreetcarnamedwynn · 3 years

Text

fic writer tag game

I was tagged by @danger-flammable. Thank you so much for thinking about me! This was a lot of fun, giving me the opportunity to stroll down memory lane for a while. :D :D :D

Fandoms: A veritable shit-ton as I am a fandom old. In descending story total (complete, WIP, and crossovers of various lengths):

MCU: 37

Supernatural: 19

Veronica Mars: 13

Buffyverse: 12

Harry Potter: 6

Yuri on Ice: 6

Smallville: 4

Daredevil: 2

Gilmore Girls: 2

Persona 5: 2

Bungou Stray Dogs: 1

Final Fantasy 15: 1

Firefly: 1

Game of Thrones: 1

The Hunger Games: 1

My Hero Academia: 1

Voltron: 1

I didn’t write fic for five years, so I usually divide my fandoms into Phase 1 (Supernatural, Veronica Mars, Buffyverse, Harry Potter, Smallville, Gilmore Girls, Firefly, and the Hunger Games) and Phase 2 (MCU, Yuri on Ice, Daredevil, Persona 5, Bungou Stray Dogs, Final Fantasy 15, Game of Thrones, My Hero Academia, and Voltron).

Where You Post: AO3 (under Wynn). I usually post notifications about AO3 postings on Tumblr, rather than complete stories. Back in the day, I posted on FF.net (Wynn) and Livejournal (jwynn). There are links to these old accounts and the stories posted there on my Tumblr if anyone is interested.

Most Popular Multi-Chapter Fic: I’ll stick to the AO3 era. My most popular stories are “Sixty Impossible Things” (Yuri on Ice, Podium Family Centric) with 6197 kudos and “That Which You Seek” (MCU, Wintershock) with 5997 kudos. I’ve been lucky to capture lightning in the bottle twice, so to speak, as there are so many different variables that go into a fic being popular.

Favorite Story You’ve Written So Far: This is so hard because I’ve been writing for so long. Here are some fics/fandoms that stick out as memorable and meaningful:

I like a lot of the Supernatural fics I wrote way back in the day (seasons 1-3). I think I did some cool stylistic things in them, especially “Communication Breakdown” and “Tiny A’s All in a Row.” I feel like I started to come into my own as a fic writer during this time.

I have a lot of affection for “Remebrance of Things Past,” my massive MCU WIP. It’s the fic that got me back into fic writing again after 5 years. I’m still in awe of some of the action sequences I planned (one spanning five chapters and, like, six different locations and plot lines that all converged into one disaster). Some of the nicest comments that I’ve ever received were about that fic, despite the fact that I went rare-pair happy with it (Loki and Natasha, Steve and Sif, Clint and Darcy, etc.).

I can mix the first two bullet points and apply them to my Yuri on Ice stories. I still get giddy about some of the writing I did for “The Fire That Burns” and “Spectacles Long Thought Myth.” I just think that it’s so good. And, of course, I have so much affection for “Sixty Impossible Things.” It’s become so much more meaningful than I anticipated when I started writing it, and I’m still in awe at the responses I receive when I post chapters, even though it’s been so long since I started writing the fic.

Fic You Were Nervous to Post: There’s always some trepidation if a fic I’m posting has anything racy in it, which is why it’s rare for me to do so. Other than this, there’s always the nerves of “will this be well-received, will readers think I’ve kept the characters in-character, etc.,” especially if I’m posting for the first time in a new fandom, which happens much more frequently nowadays.

How You Choose Your Titles: A lot of the times they’re song titles or lyrics from songs or other works (“That Which You Seek”- song title, “Winter Giving Way”- song lyric, “The Unconquerable Will”- phrase from literature). Other times they’re a phrase from the fic itself (“Spectacles Long Thought Myth,” “Weirwood and Steel”).

Do You Outline: Usually, though I don’t rigidly stick to it. If an interesting path pops up in the course of writing, I’m willing to follow it. I’ve usually got a destination in mind, but I’m not always fixed on the paths taken to get there.

Complete: 94 stories out of 110.

In Progress: My eternal WIP “Sixty Impossible Things.” I truly hope to finish it this year. I’m working on the climax now, and there are maybe 3 chapters planned after this, though I often divide chapters as my scenes get kind of long. There are also a number of WIPs from 2018 and 2019 when I struggled with fic writing (“If One Wishes to Obtain,” “The Fire that Burns,” and “Red Roar Rising”). If I could return to “Sixty Impossible Things” after 14 months and then after 6 months and begin writing again, I could return to these as well.

Coming Soon/ Not Yet Started: I suppose I’ll be able to post my YoI Dreadfully Yours fic “Smooth Runs the Waters” sometime this year, once the ‘zines have been shipped to everyone. Beyond that, I’m not sure. I have ideas for fics, but no firm plans to write anything beyond trying to finish “Sixty Impossible Things.” Some of my ideas include:

Adding to “Winter Giving Way.” I’d brainstormed a chapter in which Chuuya discovers Akutagawa and Atsushi’s relationship. I’d also brainstormed a few chapters in which Akutagawa introduces Atsushi to Gin and Atsushi has to deal with his issues about homes and families.

Adding to “The Unconquerable Will.” I’d brainstormed Goro joining the Phantom Thieves in their fight against Shido.

I brainstormed A LOT of different Persona 5 fics, including one with Goro as Batman and Akira as Catwoman, an Ouran High School Host Club AU with Goro as the Tamaki-esque character and Akira as the Haruhi-esque character, one that explores Goro being a more of a direct tool of Yaldy (one of his angels, playing off the Justice arcana, keeping the order in Yaldy’s kingdom) and how he “falls” upon meeting Akira (playing off Arsene and Satanel being connected to hell and rebelling against Yaldy) by showing Goro the truth of the world.

Do You Accept Prompts: I sometimes reblog one of the “send me a prompt” posts, but I don’t usually get a response. I’m also such a slow writer that, especially now, I don’t want to divert fic writing energies from “Sixty Impossible Things.”

Upcoming Story You’re Most Excited to Write: I’m genuinely excited about trying to finish “Sixty Impossible Things.” People have been so patient and kind with their encouragement as I’ve struggled to write it. I want to reward that but also prove to myself that I can finish a fic of this length once again.

#fic by wynn

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teenitinygod · 4 years

Note

hi can i get a bsd matchup?. i'm a 5'0 virgo bi girl with long blonde hair, fair skin and dark green eyes. i have a resting bitchface and a 4D personality. i'm organised, unpredictable and caring. i like pranking and purposely messing with my friends. i am openly interested in music, politics, books, psychology and horror/crime. i dance, draw and frequently work out. i love exploring. i overuse memes and struggle with insomnia. my fashion taste is inbetween fancy and egirl. my mbti is INTJ.

Omg you sound so cool! Thank you for requesting hun bun!

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I pair you with...

Chuuya Nakahara!

- despite you being an executive in the Port Mafia often meant you rarely met with other executives

- so when Chuuya first saw you in a black turtleneck, pleated skirt, and some platform shoes, he thought you were lost

- but there was no way you could get this high level clearance into the building without being called here or an executive

- He soon found out that you were an executive he was confused to say the least

- you were a highly trained assassin and had become pretty well talked about for being ruthless

- but after talking to you he learned that it was just your resting bitchface that threw people off

- He loves your style

- you convinced him to start wearing chokers

- will talk to you for hours on end

- He will show up at your apartment to talk with a glass of wine and some new albums to put on your record player (let’s just say you have one)

- He absolutely adores you and the fact that you are shorter than him

- You both had teamed up on a job of a new drug ring that had formed in inner Yokohama

- Being forced into a stakeout with you was something he didn’t mind

- You both talked more than ever that night

- After figuring out that the anonymous tip of a drug deal would be at that spot was a bust, you both watched the sunset rise of the top of his car

- leaned into kiss you, which you returned quickly

- from there you were the power couple of the port mafia

- he’s really happy with you

#chuuya #chuuya nakahara #chuuya nakahara x reader #chuuya x reader #bungou stray dogs #bungou stray dogs x reader #bungou stray dogs headcanons #bungou stray dogs mashup

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leonawriter · 4 years

Text

Home Territory

Read it on AO3

Fandom: Bungo Stray Dogs/Mononoke

Pairings: Dazai/Chuuya

Characters: Kunikida, Dazai, Atsushi, Ranpo, Chuuya, Fukuzawa, Mori.

Summary: Kunikida has concerns over Dazai's living arrangements, and fixes things with paperwork. Chuuya is having a crisis of his own, of a far more benign nature. And both Fukuzawa and Mori are reminded of how difficult being the leader of an organisation is when your subordinates aren't always human.

(Part four in the “Not All Kitsune Have Nine Tails” ‘verse. Follows “Smoke and Fox-Fire.”)

...

Once could be passed off as a fluke. A case gone south didn't always end up with everyone back at the agency, or even back home, so with Dazai having gone missing partway through things taking a turn for the strange, he hadn't even questioned Atsushi on why he hadn't come back with a bandaged nuisance in tow that night.

The next morning he'd been similarly distracted by the fact that despite not having seen or heard him arrive or leave the Agency's dorms, there Dazai had been, in all of his red and fluffy glory on his chair, and making more trouble than usual. And that was saying something, given that what was usual was making Kunikida want to tear his hair out.

He had started to actually notice on the second night, when the dorms - despite it being late enough that Dazai should have been back, in theory - were yet again noticeably quiet.

He must have gone out drinking again, is his first thought on that, although something about it feels off. Possibly because Dazai hadn't on one of his notorious pub crawls that would inevitably end up with the police calling him up in the middle of the night for quite some time now, and- it struck him as he continued that train of thought, why it felt wrong. Dazai had been arrested not all that long ago. Not for something as minor as disorderly behaviour, either, but his actual crimes. The serious ones. Surely he wouldn't put himself in that sort of situation again so soon after such an experience...?

Even so, Dazai never showed up all throughout Kunikida's own nighttime preparations, and he wasn't about to interrupt his own schedule and routine for one man just because that was probably what Dazai wanted.

So he came into work again the next morning... and there Dazai was. Again.

Whatever he had been up to, it certainly didn't seem as though he could have been drinking, or at least not to the degree that he had found him in countless times before. There was no lingering smell of alcohol on his clothes, or smoke, that would follow him around the room if that were the case, as had happened before. If anything, there was a sort of musk that followed him now that hadn't before, which confused him until he realised that it was the scent of fur.

None of which explained where Dazai had been the past few nights.

All he was left with was the vague idea that he couldn't have been roughing it in a park - and why do such a thing anyway, when he had a perfectly warm and dry bed to go back to? - or drinking until he rotted away in a cell, and he was clearly going somewhere.

Somewhere that both Ranpo and Atsushi, it seemed, were aware of. Which... while reassuring, and made him at least feel that wherever Dazai had been it couldn't have been anything that would put him in any sort of danger, or anything would be a cause for concern, was still frustrating.

Somewhere that made him at least several minutes to an hour later to work each day, he noted, a glance at the clock telling him that it was closer to the latter this time than the former.

The door to the office opening inward disrupted his thoughts as he prepared for either a client having come on foot, or Dazai, and at this point either was a distinct possibility - only for the first thing to come through the doorway to be an impossibility he had somehow grown used to over the past several days.

A single red ear made way for brown hair and then a second red ear, and then the rest of Dazai followed suit, attempting to saunter into the office and take to his place without being noticed, by the seems of it.

"Dazai."

Dazai froze, and then turned- no, first he flicked an ear in his direction, and then he turned to face him properly. Which was still going to take some getting used to. Ears - anatomy in general - wasn't supposed to work like that. It just wasn't. Not on human beings-

And there it is again, he thinks, catching himself for not the first or last time. Because Dazai, not that it should have even come as a surprise given how inhumanly irritating he could be, wasn't a human being. At least not entirely.

"Eh?" Another ear flick. "Did Kunikida-kun want something or did he just want to make sure I hadn't forgotten my name?"

Breathe, he reminded himself. Do not twist the damn fox's ears just because he's trying to deflect on purpose.

Because, he had to be. Dazai hadn't said a word about this to anyone in the past several days, and... even if no one else was bothered, even if no one else was wondering what was going on or felt concerned at all, Kunikida wasn't anyone else, and the entire situation was starting to grate on him.

"I don't suppose you could explain to me exactly where you've been for the past several nights?"

And there was the up side to the strange new body language. It was harder for Dazai to completely mask his reactions to things unless he used what he had somehow figured out the previous day about his newfound ability to use illusions - not that Dazai had ever needed illusions to make trouble in the first place - and hide his non-human features entirely. In which case it would go without saying that there was something he didn't want to to share.

"I could," Dazai said slowly. "But I don't see why I should have to. I'm not in any danger anyone needs to rescue me from, and I'm coming to work each day-"

"Not that you actually do anything that could be called 'work'," Kunikida couldn't stop himself from correcting.

"-so it isn't as if there's a problem, if-"

"You're late every single day, and we don't know where you are! I fail to see how there isn't a problem with this!" He cuts across Dazai's excuses and the next thing he knows, he's leaving a report half-written to stand up at his desk. "Do I really need to point out that there have been several times in the past few months when you would vanish, and you'd turn up some time later - hours, days, weeks - only for us to find out that actually, what we," and he was perfectly well aware that when it come to some cases, the earlier ones especially, "we" was mostly "him", "had assumed was just more of your slacking off was actually a serious incident that we should have been made aware of!"

The incident with Dazai getting captured and imprisoned by the Port Mafia back before the alliance - before, not that he had been aware at the time, Dazai had been in more danger than any other Agency member due to being seen by the mafia as a traitor. With that in mind, even with it being Dazai who was as slippery as the kitsune trickster he apparently was, it was nothing short of a miracle he had made it out alive.

The serial apple suicides. Getting shot right before the Agency and the mafia went into disarray.

No one had even known where he had been or what had happened to him to even know that he had been arrested until much later, an entire period of time spent not knowing what his status was, whether he was alive or dead, to say nothing of if he had a plan.

At some point, Dazai's ears had flattened back onto his head, staring at him.

"But I'm... I'm fine," Dazai was saying now. Weakly, as if he really didn't see what the issue was. Looking around, only to realise that the office had quieted down to the barest hush of voices, and only then in the direction of the clerks who had come back in spite of everything.

"Even if that's the case, it's still not something that I can stand to let lie, when I'm fine doesn't tell us where you've been."

Dazai has his mouth half open to say something else, whatever it is, but he doesn't get the chance.

"Kunikida has a point, you know." Ranpo, it seemed, was finding the conversation topic serious enough to put down the pastry he'd been eating, even if there were still crumbs on his mouth and fingers. "We're not asking you to come back, if that's what you're worried about."

"We aren't-? I for one would much prefer it if he did come back! At least then-"

"No, we're not. He's a fox, Kunikida. You can't make foxes go where they don't want to go. If Dazai's fine where he is, then he's fine where he is - but at the same time, like I said. You've got a point, because we don't know where he's been."

The last was aimed directly at Dazai himself, with all the authority of Ranpo's extra years and - apparently - extra experience in terms of other matters, that Kunikida had learned during the latter part of the previous day.

"And what if I don't want to tell anyone where I'm staying?"

"Then I'd say you're being a selfish brat," Kunikida ground out, taking only some small amount of satisfaction in the way that Dazai's eyes widened, and he backed away a step, seeming for all the world as though he was just giving them all the same bratty attitude as always - if it weren't for how his ears and tail were quivering like a cornered dog. Which Dazai himself didn't seem to even be aware of.

He sighed, hand pinching the bridge of his nose and then re-adjusting his glasses.

It takes only a few paces to get around his desk - leaving the half-finished report still staring back at him from his computer screen, and wasn't that just like Dazai to interrupt his work even when it wasn't on purpose - and find the filing cabinet with the forms that he knows have rarely had any use, and perhaps that should be fixed, and for more than just Dazai, but with the way everyone in the Agency is... they'd simply never gotten around to it, and for one good reason.

"Kunikida-kun, what are you...?"

"Most of the agents tend not to bother with these, but that's usually because it's seen as unnecessary. The Director doesn't enforce it for the same reason. Would you care to guess what that is?"

"Because it's boring?"

"Because everyone else lives in the same place. The Agency's dorms mean that it's harder for something to just plain happen when no one is watching or aware. And if something happens, we all know- and because we all know, there's no need to contact anyone else." He pulled out the form that he'd been searching for. "If you really aren't coming back, you could at least fill that in."

"...you want to put my new address on the system," Dazai said after a full minute of reading the thing. "I can't do that."

"Dazai-!"

It confirmed his rising suspicions that there was a new address involved, that Dazai hadn't simply not been returning back to the dorms for any other reason, but the outright refusal-

"He's gonna need the next one, Kunikida," he heard, Ranpo's voice pulling him back from the brink of outright throttling his infuriating partner. The next one. Of course he had thought of that, but who could possibly...? And yet, Ranpo seemed certain.

So, out came the "next" form. The one that usually went with the first one. The one that he hadn't even thought Dazai would be able to have filled out, if he had just found somewhere else to stay, somehow.

Something shifts.

Atsushi, who had been looking between the two of them with some level of anxiety, attempted - and succeeded - to get behind Dazai to look past him at what Kunikida had given him. When he saw, the kid's eyes widened, brows rose, and then he looked first at Dazai and then at Ranpo.

"Oh," the kid said, "I get it. I never needed one of those because... but... d'you really think that person will..?"

Which outright confirmed that Atsushi knew who Dazai was staying with, that he was staying with someone, and hadn't told anyone else. Ranpo he could understand, because he was Ranpo - he'd probably been able to take one good look at Dazai over the past several days and could have figured how exactly what was going on without any help at all.

Dazai, meanwhile, just shrugged and folded up both forms, putting them in an inner pocket of his coat and leaving Kunikida to wonder if they'd simply disappear over the course of the day, or turn up with immature doodles all over them.

...

Dazai wasn't sure when the words come love, sleep had somehow turned into the sound of Chuuya closing the door behind him and kicking off his shoes, or hearing him call out I'm home just like he had ever since his third night staying over. Because the first night had just been the two of them collapsing into bed together and not being sure who would still be there come morning, and the second hadn't really been expected-

But somehow, somewhere along the way, Chuuya has been letting him make himself at home.

There's his own sleeping yukata waiting on the bed, since it's more comfortable now than pyjamas, and his toothbrush is in Chuuya's bathroom. Chuuya has started to buy canned crab (again; he remembers when they were partners and Chuuya would just shove it in his face when he hadn't been eating at all, because he hadn't seen the point, and looking back it was probably the fact that Chuuya had wrestled him into it and remembering that there was worth being there for and paying attention to, rather than the crab itself).

The previous night, they'd somehow wound up with Chuuya sitting normally - more or less - on his sofa, while Dazai's head rested in his lap, half of Chuuya's attention on the reports he'd brought home and had brought out despite Dazai's protests, and half on Dazai's head, including his ears, which he knew were soft and, when he was in his more human form, by far more accessible than the only other fluffy part of him.

Especially with the fact that being a hanyou apparently came with sharp bits - claws, and teeth, and sometimes he could control them, but he couldn't always, and sometimes... sometimes Chuuya's furniture suffered the consequences.

He kept expecting harsh admonishments, because he'd often caused less harm when he'd done things on purpose - maybe Chuuya didn't see it that way, but at least shifting all of his belongings an inch to the left just to see him come to work the next day covered in bruises had been harmless, as had been covering everything Chuuya had owned at the time with (unused) old bandages, just because of some insult he had wanted his partner to regret having made.

But Chuuya... Chuuya noticed, and made strange, odd noises in the back of his throat like he was trying to strangle something back there, and he'd breathe, and just... move on. He had to notice, when there were scratches in the upholstery and the carpets and the woodwork. Dazai had been on the receiving end of more than one headache-inducing tirade on how the chibi wanted him not to touch his things and not to damage any of his things, but now he had been-

Nothing.

The worst he'd had in response had been what he could only assume had been a joking suggestion that maybe we should get you a cat scratching post, which he couldn't imagine being much help if he did go through with it.

There was fur all over the place.

From his tail, but also from the few times so far that he had simply gone around on all fours, the novelty not quite having worn off. He still had a puffy soft coat that had plenty of fluff to spare, so every so often bits would just... snag. He wouldn't even notice most of the time. But it had reached the point in even just this long, less than a week, and no matter any of the other things-

Chuuya's home smelled of Dazai.

When he'd first arrived earlier in the week, it had been full of the scent of smoke and wine and freshly laundered clothes, as well as the barely hidden tang of old, dried blood and steel that came from his knives and that lingered in the doorway, and all the places that Chuuya would linger after a mission.

Now, the scent of kitsune followed into every room. The scent was still light, hadn't settled into the pores of the house, could still be exorcised with time and deodoriser, but there was something heady and frankly terrifying to the idea that this was happening, that he could tell that it was happening when previously he'd repressed everything so far that he'd barely noticed that his senses were any more sensitive than those of a human being who tended to notice a little more than most.

The entire house felt like potential, and two pieces of paper burned holes in his coat pocket. Despite the well-meaning intentions of his co-workers, they felt more like a threat than anything nearly as encouraging as they must have intended.

Except-

Ranpo had been the one to suggest the second form. Ranpo, who knew youkai better than Dazai, and who had a good nose like the cat he was, and who had meet Chuuya before.

And Dazai... trusted Ranpo.

He just wished that he trusted himself - trusted whatever this was that he and Chuuya were starting together - even half as much.

...

The first thing Chuuya thinks when he calls out and doesn't get a response is that Dazai must have been out late on a case, or that he'd stayed at the dorms again, or... any number of things he hadn't felt the need to tell Chuuya about, never mind the fact that apparently they live together now-

But then he sees the shoes in the genkan, and that means that Dazai had to be in here somewhere.

He thought, at least, given how quiet it was. Weirdly quiet, for a place that should have a Dazai in it. After all, Dazai didn't even have to have his shoes on to go out, and for all he knew, he might wind up halfway through the night and hearing scratching at his door-

He goes through the motions of putting his coat up, but he's still wearing his knife when he walks into the living room and the first thing he sees is that there's something on the coffee table, and he's already picked it up by the time he realises that Dazai's not just still here, but still in the room - not that he'd have noticed if he hadn't caught the smallest movements out of the corner of his eye.

Just a week ago, and a fox in my living room hiding under the sofa would be cause to grab the thing and throw it out as far as I could so it didn't come back, and now... what?

He blinked.

The words on the page he'd picked up without thinking didn't change, or rearrange themselves. And after yesterday, he half expected they would. That this would be some sort of new prank, and Dazai was on all fours just to make sure he could run off faster than Chuuya could catch him.

As far as he could see, it was just a normal form. The words were printed in black and white, on normal print paper. Hell, it was the sort of generic thing that he'd had to fill out just working for the mafia a few times, because no matter that they were a criminal organisation, gods forbid they didn't have their internal paperwork and filing systems in order.

So he knew what it was. He wasn't an idiot. It was just the context that was...

Unable to finish that thought, he reached out mechanically to the next sheet of paper that'd been hidden under the first, and nearly drops them both.

Notification of Change of Address was the first one.

Emergency Contact Details was the second.

Both of them had the Armed Detective Agency's header on them, just in case he wasn't sure where they'd come from.

"Dazai?"

He's not sure what, exactly, his voice is doing, but it feels like he must have gone through several different emotions in the space of saying that one word.

Dazai whining normally is just something to roll his eyes at, because whatever he's going on about and making eyes at him for, is probably just something he could have handled himself if he'd only been bothered to deal with whatever it was earlier, or that's not actually a big deal at all but he's just being an attention-seeking brat about things.

Dazai whining as a fox is just a pitiful sound that he really... doesn't know how to deal with.

"Whether either of us like it or not, I can't speak fox, Dazai. You're gonna have to work with me here." He glanced back at the forms. They still said the same things. "I don't get... this."

He stared, mind blanking out the longer he stood there, hoping that if he just waited long enough Dazai would give in and explain what was going on. It was more than a relief when red fur wriggled out from its hiding place and jumped up onto the sofa only to be Dazai-shaped - or rather, mostly human Dazai-shaped - before he hit the cushions.

"Kunikida-kun got mad at me," Dazai said, and maybe if someone didn't know him as well as Chuuya did they'd think he was relaxed, but Chuuya could see the tension in his body and in all the ways he did and didn't know he was showing it. The way he wouldn't meet Chuuya's eyes, instead concentrating on something on the ceiling. "I haven't been sleeping at the dorms since..." he trailed off, and didn't have to finish that, since Chuuya already knew what he was talking about. "It's only been a few days, but given it's Kunikida-kun I shouldn't really be that surprised."

Which explained just about as much as it didn't - not enough.

"What... exactly, did you tell them, then?" No, that wasn't- "Why did you wind up with these?"

Dazai blinked up at him, and for a moment he was afraid he'd just wind up with a sorry-looking fox again.

"Because," Dazai half-mumbled quietly enough Chuuya almost couldn't hear the words, "I sort of let slip that I wouldn't be going back to the dorms." A blink, as they both stared at each other, and a widening of Dazai's eyes. "I mean - that I didn't want to- I..." He deflated somewhat, and brought his knees up, tail curling around himself and making him look far younger and more innocent than Dazai had any right to be, after all he'd done. "I didn't tell them where, or that it was you, though."

"Dazai..."

The name came out more as a slow exhale, a sigh than anything, full of emotions he couldn't quite put names on. At least, not yet.

Brown eyes narrowed, and then the next thing he knew Dazai was on his front, face in a cushion.

"If Chuuya wanted to say something all he needed was to say it."

The words that's rich, coming from you gathered at the top of his tongue, but he bit them off with as much patience as he could muster up.

A dozen different things he could say all went the same way.

Usually, people don't move so fast.

Most people don't move in so quickly.

We don't even know what we're doing half the time.

Or what we are to each other other outside of-

Come, love. Sleep.

"I thought... I guess I just thought that when you'd figured out who you were again, you'd just... I dunno. Go back."

"I thought Chuuya didn't want me to go back, or go anywhere. I thought Chuuya just wanted me to come back to him."

There was something about the words that was dizzying. Dazai was a fickle, changeable bastard fox who just left, who left and didn't care and who was... saying that he wanted... that he thought...

Chuuya sat down. Still holding the two forms in his hand.

Dazai lifted his head up, squishing one ear against the cushion in an odd way that didn't seem comfortable, but that Dazai didn't seem to notice.

"What... is this what you want?"

Dazai doesn't just stay. Dazai doesn't do anything without some sort of backup plan, or motive.

He only came with me because I asked first, if the weretiger had asked first, that'd be where he'd be staying. Not here.

Just because I "called dibs."

"Chuuya's being particularly stupid right now." Maybe he was. But it wasn't like Dazai was being much better, and that made him feel more okay about the whole ordeal. "I want to stay here. Didn't I just say that?"

Oh.

In some dim corner of his mind, he realised that this would take a fair bit more than just this one form - not that Dazai would likely be all that bothered, because as long as his letters could be passed along through his coworkers, he'd just be lazy and not bother with it - but that... that could be later.

He wondered, considering it was Dazai, what whoever had given him the second form had been thinking, when they'd thought of that.

"How much do they know?" he asked with a slight frown.

There were some things that'd happened that night that... were the entire reason he'd half dragged, half carried Dazai into his home and let him get away with so much in the first place.

"Hm? Ah. Oh... that. I... haven't really told them," Dazai said, now picking at a loose thread on the sofa that wouldn't have been there if it weren't for Dazai's claws picking at it in the first place. It was almost funny. As a kid, he'd never even dreamed of having upholstery that wasn't at least a bit ratty. Even the best the Sheep had been able to get their hands on had holes in places, because the adults had taken the good stuff first. And then when he'd been half-dragged into the mafia, he'd gained an appreciation for how he'd been able to afford furniture that didn't even have a nick or scratch. Now here he was, and Dazai was tearing holes and scratches in everything- something he wasn't about to stop doing, either. The future seemed full of imperfect furniture, and the more he thought about that, the less awful it became. "Atsushi knows," Dazai was saying, pulling Chuuya out of his own thoughts. "Because he was there. And he knows enough to notice things. He's a good kid." Chuuya nodded along, because from what little he'd seen, he'd agree with that. "Ranpo probably does, too."

Chuuya scowled and shuddered at that name - that detective. Just because they were back on the same side again didn't mean that hearing the name and knowing that the detective knew - or even just suspected - that one sore spot of Dazai's right now wasn't rubbing salt into the wound.

"And you trust them?"

The more they talked, the more Dazai relaxed, his tail and ears twitching from time to time, and this time he even grabbed at the extra limb he'd gained in the past week, losing his hands in the fur.

"Neither of them have told anyone else," he said. "I might tell the others. Sooner or later. Maybe. Or I might just leave it and see who notices first."

"Whatever you want to do, really," Chuuya found himself saying. "They're your people."

People who Chuuya would end up interacting with a lot more than he'd ever planned on, the moment he's finished signing his life and what little remained of his peace and quiet away. But if Dazai didn't want to say anything just yet, then neither would he.

"Mm," Dazai hummed out. "They are." Dazai tilted his head. Chuuya wasn't even sure if Dazai really understood what he'd just said, how differently youkai saw their connections with people compared to normal human friendships. Then again, Dazai barely understood that sort of thing anyway. "So... you agree to both?"

"I didn't just let you into my home for shits and giggles, Dazai. Or to just kick you out the moment I felt like it." Dazai was still watching him. Waiting. "That's a yes."

He just hoped this wasn't going to come back to bite him in the ass in the middle of the day and a call from some poor Agency soul who'd drawn the short straw to contact him when Dazai starts acting like the brat he is just for the attention. It'd hardly be the first time he'd have done a thing like that.

"....Chuuya?"

So there was something else.

"What?"

"Talking of telling." Dazai was now wearing his serious face, although the effect was marred somewhat by the fluffy ears, and the fact that he was still holding onto his own tail on Chuuya's sofa. "About that. If there are going to be records, I want you to tell Mori what's going on before he has a chance to find out for himself."

"I thought you didn't want me to tell the Boss."

"And now I do. I just told you why. Are you going to do it or not?"

"You say that as if it'd ever be easier to not tell him something. Of course I will. Though if it weren't for the what I'd be making you tell him yourself - and you're still going to owe me for this."

Dazai had the gall to stick his tongue out, which just emphasised the effect of making him look ridiculous.

"What's mine is yours, Chuuya."

"We're basically housesharing, Dazai. We're not married or anything."

He stood up abruptly, taking the two forms with him and neatly avoiding the - thankfully socked - foot that Dazai tried sending at him, and doing his best to look straight ahead at the kitchen instead of looking back. And wishing he hadn't just said that, or that he could just put his hat back on and hide his face without getting called out for it.

You've told him you love him already days ago, he thought to himself, inner voice calling him an idiot as he heated up the water for tea, and started the food prep because gods knew Dazai wasn't going to. Most people who share their house with someone don't sleep in the same bed as that person, either.

At this point, he didn't think he could tell Dazai to sleep in another room. And not just because it'd feel like a betrayal.

Dazai, who he knew damn well was a chronic insomniac... had been sleeping. Dazai had been sleeping, and he'd been doing so in Chuuya's arms, for the past couple of nights.

Not to mention, he... could hardly say he hadn't been feeling better for being able to wake up to fluff and fur and bandages and noodle limbs and the ever-present cool sensation of Dazai's ability nullifying his own.

...

Fukuzawa Yukichi took one look at the two forms that Dazai had handed him, from which could be gathered the exact home address and contact details of someone he knew to be a mafia executive, and then looked back at Dazai himself.

Dazai, who was standing there, waiting patiently with a purposefully neutral expression on his face.

For a moment, for all their differences, he couldn't help but be reminded of Yosano, and wondered how many times Dazai had stood in just that sort of way in front of Mori Ougai, to ask something of the man that in all likelihood should have been given freely, and without such worry or concern.

An ear flicked, and then went back to its alert position.

Only kids do that sort of thing, Ranpo had said to him just the other night about the way Dazai wore his fur, distressed but quiet. Kids and hanyou! I should've known before. But because it was Dazai I just didn't- but I should've known.

It wasn't often that Ranpo came to him with frustrations about not knowing something, and even less frequently about those things that concerned the non-human side of things. And now that he did, it was about a coworker. One of Yukichi's own subordinates, even.

He sighed.

"By the way that this is coming to my attention, it seems that this is more to inform me of something that has already been decided, rather than to seek my approval." The changes - the minute shifting of Dazai's posture, the twitches of his features - might have remained invisible to most, but to Yukichi, who had experience with reading far more subtle signs than this, the nervous tension was as clear as day. "Dazai."

"Director, I-"

"There is no need to apologise for doing what you felt that you must after what was clearly a stressful situation," although simply describing it as stressful felt like he was understating things, here, given what he understood had happened. "Or putting your trust in someone. I merely wish to know that the two of you have thought this through. Although the Agency and the Port Mafia are currently at peace, we are both well aware of how easily such a truce could be affected by events outside of our control."

If anything, discomfort he could see and sense in Dazai rose, but that was hardly outside of expectations given the subject and situation.

"You can trust that I wouldn't allow my living conditions to affect my loyalties, or to become a danger," Dazai said. In just as much of a carefully neutral tone as he had made sure to put on his features.

"Dazai, it isn't your loyalty that I am concerned about," he said, eyes shutting for a moment as he thought about all of the potential repercussions of this. In the past two years since his entrance exam, Yukichi had never once, not even since he had first been made aware of the boy's previous occupation, questioned that loyalty - never had he been given any reason to.

"In which case," as if that had been something they had needed to have made clear at all, "I can only say that should anything come up... Chuuya and I will need to deal with such things as they do."

"Then it seems that you have thought of everything already, and the Agency can merely do the best we can with regards to keeping the information that the two of us have trusted us with as safe as possible."

From Dazai's expression, that wasn't what he had hesitantly knocked on his Director's door and expected to come away with. That, along with the sharp but uncertain way that Dazai bowed his thanks and left, made him relieved at the quiet and privacy that enabled him to rub at his forehead, at the premonition of a headache as well as hoping that Dazai's situation turned out to help him – and that whatever came their way that threatened such stability that he had managed to find for himself didn't break him.

Then again, that was the reason he had built the Armed Detective Agency up around Ranpo in the first place, was it not? Not simply just to ease the burden on one boy and ensure that he was safe, but for them to support each other.

...

Mori Ougai watched Chuuya leave with most of his expression covered up by his hands still steepled in front of his face. He closed his eyes the moment the door closed, allowing himself to let out the breath that he had been holding in, which wasn't - quite - a sigh.

"I've started compiling an offline database of people in the communities who'd be good to have on side. Not even necessarily outright working for the mafia, just good to have owe us a favour or two."

That was what he had started with. And if Ougai were to be honest, he hadn't expected anything of the sort in such a short period of time. Granted, the list of names on the handwritten sheet of notes was small, and with the way things Chuuya had explained to him, no matter what he said or how he spun things, it would be more Chuuya that any of these people would be answering to, than him.

A minor note, and one that he was more than willing to let slide for one reason - that Chuuya himself was still loyal to him. Just as importantly, loyal to the mafia as an organisation. As long as that were the case, then there was nothing for him to be concerned about either way.

And then the bombshells had fallen - two connected pieces of information that he had known he would have to tread carefully with the moment he heard them, because of how he knew he could so easily break the two involved with one wrong move.

"There's a name that isn't on the list, Boss," Chuuya had said. "Dazai's got kitsune in him." Strong enough to be affected by the rules of these communities, evidently. And interesting though it may have been to have pressed on the matter and find out just how much, how strongly, and when either of them had found out this fascinating new development... said rules had confined him into a mere nod and a gesture to continue when he could see that Chuuya wasn't finished. "He's also moved in with me."

On the one hand, it would have been appreciated if he had been given some fair advanced warning to such a development; Dazai being able to potentially see whatever work Chuuya brought home with him was not a thought he liked to dwell on, considering his former executive's current mode of employment.

But on the other hand - it was hardly as though he could have stopped them, and nor could he now, if he wanted to.

It was as he had told Kouyou in reference to the incident in which she had been captured by the Agency; just like her, if Chuuya wished at any time to leave, then there would be very little that either he or the entire mafia behind him would be able to do to stop him. And with Dazai at his back... Double Black had been feared for a reason. From the picture he was beginning to paint of the youkai culture and mindset, the very action of opposing them only could end in a bloodbath.

Perhaps Chuuya liked to tell himself that he was as human as the friends he enjoyed socialising with, or even the body that he owed half of his very existence to. But the more Chuuya told Ougai of what to expect, the more his mind drifted back to innumerable instances that now made more sense, just as he was sure that the same could be said for Dazai's own behaviours. Even the very loyalty that made him so invaluable was merely a symptom of the whole, and now left him wondering just how much of Arahabaki was subsumed into being Chuuya's ability, and how much had survived in other means.

Questions, perhaps, for another time. Or at least to ponder privately.

In some situations, the most optimal solution was a swift strike, to act first before the opponent could so much as formulate a plan; in others, the only thing to do was to accept the way that the board had presented itself, and trust that things would sort themselves out in the most beneficial manner for all involved. In this case, the latter.

A downpayment in trust indeed, he thought to himself.

...

AN: If there are things that don't make sense in the Dazai-Chuuya section, there's a reason for that. You don't have the (full) context yet.

(That’ll be shown in “Fox-Faced,” so please read that too. Although I’d love to know what you think it is with only this and the previous fics to go by~)

#bungo stray dogs #bsd #bsd stuff #kitsune dazai #Leona fic #bsd mnnk au

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draconia-bsd · 4 years

Text

Sweet Illusion

Wrote it because I am a content starved bitch...ok? xD I really wish more people liked this ship tbh. UwU Please tell me your thoughts, even if it's critics! Thank you! ♡

Words: 2 531

Pairing: Kouyou Ozaki and Dazai Osamu (Kouzai)

Rating: M

Summary: Just some smutty fluff after a PM party.

Dim lights made the venue Mori rent look even more elegant and mysterious, absolutely fitting of the crowd gathered there. Kouyou and her selected higher ups were the first to arrive, but were soon followed by Chuuya and two other Executives with their own respective teams. Everyone had a specific seat arranged for them, so it was quite noticable when that one particular person hasn't shown up at the agreed time. Still, Boss was unbothered as he was used to his subordinate's deviations concerning informal plans- Dazai was just like that, surprisingly not much of a people person.

With this in mind, everyone enjoyed themselves without a second thought, even Dazai's own "pawns". The only person who seemed to be irritated by the fact this young man was treated so lightly was Chuuya. He controlled it well at first, but after a few drinks his rage started showing despite his best efforts to hide it. He glanced at a seemingly careless Mori with a strange look that resembled that of a child during a tantrum, and then he started talking. Not just to Boss but to anyone near him- mostly his dear "sister" Kouyou.

Now, Kouyou wasn't the type of person to shut someone she cared about too quickly, but this time Chuuya really walked on thin ice. She was looking forward to relaxing this evening, and quite frankly, this shit was too annoying as it wasn't even something Dazai did directly to Chuuya. Still, she drank her sake and politely nodded for a while, until, with the corner of her eye she spotted the last remaining Executive. "Finally" she thought and stood from her seat to catch him. The drinks were working already, so the speed she glided across the venue was unusual, to say the least, along with her general stance. She put her arms on Dazai's shoulders and yanked him down towards her saying enthusiasticallg "Oh there you are!". For a brief moment his expression seemed confused, but nonetheless he replied in a similar manner, going even as far as to hug her. Certainly, phisical contact was something he rarely used as a strategy to calm a person down, but given the muddled state of his mind he didn't really bother. Nobody knew how in the world was he able to get to the party with that much alcohol in his body, but that wasn't that important since Mori seemed happy to have him around even in this state. Kouyou dragged Dazai to the table where the five Executives sat and began a casual conversation about a current art event at the city, which seemed to ease the tension between two men, mostly because Chuuya got so invested in expressing his thoughts that he decided he needs to tell everyone about his most recent epiphanies considering music and art. Not that his ideas were bad, but it was definitely not the best time to share them, as his, now barely coherent, speech was driving too much attention from such a delicate matter. Kouyou wanted to stop her friend, but the risk of him getting insulted simply wasn't worth it. Instead, she just took another shot of sake, contorting her face in the process.

Dazai just looked at her and laughed "Better not get drunk for that, sis."

After all this time she practically developed and immunity to his jokes and mostly didn't take them too serious, especially when he was drunk and his behaviour resembled to that he used to have when he was much younger. She was aware he mostly made them witht he hope for an explosive reaction, and she didn't intend to allow him such pleasure.

"Too late, I was already drunk when he started." She said with a smile and covered one of her rosy cheeks with a hand to cool herself down.

Their conversation continued for a while, mostly consisting out of teasing, and a daring of who will drink more shots. Similarly to Chuuya, Kouyou wasn't much of a drinker, but seeing Dazai was already pretty intoxicated, she actually thought she could win....which was a big miscalculation since he can drink like a camel even in his current state.

The competition ended after she drank her fourth shot and as a punishment she had to do a wacky dance to the next song. Dazai giggled like a menace that he is, but agreed to let her wait for the next song as she had to prepare herself for the embarrassment. Unfortunately for him tho, the next song was a slow one and while the thought of Kouyou completely ruining the atmosphere was amusing, it wasn't exactly what he was looking for, so he hugged her before she got up and told her it would be stupid of her to dance now so he'll change the punishment.

Laughing and returning the hug, Kouyou let a disappointed sound "Aaaaaaa what will it be then?"

He wasn't quite sure yet so he voiced that and started sliding his fingers through her long, silky hair. Alongside the music it was quite relaxing for both of them so neither made a fuss when the next song started playing, and then the one after that too.

"Hey...." Dazai murmured and was answered with Kouyou's sleepy voice "Yeah?"

"How about we leave?"

"Ugh, I'm sleepy, maybe just a bit lon-" she stated but was interrupted.

"We can get a room here on the second floor, I'm tired too."

This was a great answer in Kouyou's mind, so that's exactly what happened in the next ten or so minutes. As soon as they were in the room she took her heels off and launched at the bed, wrapping herself in the indigo sheets.

With the voice of a spoiled child Dazai demanded some of the sheets for himself, as he had also took a few of his garments, and pulled them over on his side. Discontent with that, Kouyou replied in the same manner, but had no strength to actually pull the sheets. The whole room as spinning anyway, so she was at least glad she was in a comfy bed.

It was painfully obvious she was drunk more than usual and Dazai knew he might as well test his luck now. He pulled her close to him and rested his forehead on hers. "Is this better?" He asked in a low, but soft voice.

She felt awkward for a moment, but it really did feel good and she couldn't deny she disliked it, or that she never thought of a scenario similar to this, so Kouyou nodded affirmatively and sled her hand to his waist, which she felt made him quiver. Taking a deep breath, it was now a bit harder to fall asleep. Petting each other they stayed like this until Kouyou moved and allowed their noses to touch. Dazai chuckled to this, moving his hand towards her head and slowly leaning for a kiss. A soft and warm kiss, with no hurry or fear of exploitation. They were both in the same sauce when it came to this, so it was quite a relief compared to either of their previous and current partners.

They moved their bodies closer together, letting their legs intertwine and allowing their hands to do as they please. She always liked his hair- it seemed so soft, and now she had a chance to test that, and it turns out she was right. It was soft, maybe even more than her own hair, and that made it all the more pleasurable to play with. Dazai never noticed he was blushing from such a simple gesture, but Kouyou did, leading her to caress his cheek. He let out a small moan, most likely because of surprise, and inhaled deeply before kissing her wrist and then proceeding to leave a trail all along her arm and shoulder, causing her to breathe erratically.

He wrapped his arms around her waist and placed a light kiss on her chest while looking her in the eye, awaiting affirmation of wether or not he should continue. Kouyou put her fingers through his hair again, encouraging him with a tiny moan as well. He was much more gentle than what she had expected and that was most certainly a bonus.

Dazai continued to tease with small glimpses of pleasure, slowly moving upwards along her neck and ears, placing the last kiss on her lips, allowing her to devour the passion he had bottled up. Letting out a loud moan, he had only stimulated her to take the lead now. She wrapped her legs around him and leaned onto his body until she was on top, free to do whatever she liked. But she was in no hurry either. Instead of immediately doing what her instincts wanted, Kouyou gave him another kiss, just as passionate as the one before, but spiced it up by biting his lip gently in the process. His excitement didn't help her tho, as she felt him right where it was the best. Taking big breaths in order to concentrate, she did manage to provide special attention to his neck, leaving red marks on it over and over again as his moans became less cintroled.

It was hard to know exactly how excited either of them was, as neither was particularly vocal in the bedroom, but grinding against each other was a good giveaway, as it became more frequent and accompanied by tighter grips with every move. Finally, she figured it was the right time to give in, so she pulled Dazai in a sitting position, which he eagerly accepted. He was just as excited as Kouyou, but truth be told, he controlled it better- he took his time with taking off her dress, sliding the one shoulder strap and kissing the exposed skin, then moving to her breasts, covering every inch of them with kisses and one very light bite on the lower side which made her quiver. Sliding his hands over her curves, he lifted the skirt of the dress, making a pause when he reached to her hips in order to caress them. After this, their lips locked again and soon the rest of clothes came off. Some was removed by it's owner and some by the lover, but due to the haze neither really cared to remember.

The sounds of their irregular breathing combined with low grunts and moans filled the room, making it seem as if there was no other noise in this world. With fogged up minds nothing else really mattered anyway, at least not at that moment. Their bodies merged and filled each others desires very well, leaving them craving for more with each thrust. Fuelled by desire, Kouyou had gradually set up a pretty fast rhythm, enjoying the view of a flustered mess beneath her. It was a sight she had never seen before and it added a layer of excitement, as she had previously barely thought of him as a real person, a human. Not that this was an example of his vulnerability in any way, but still, rare people in the mafia ever got to see this side of a notorious executive, and she was quite flattered to be one of them- it made her feel superior, in a way.

As she was getting closer to orgasm, her tempo declined until she completely stopped, but not by her own will. Silently, Dazai embraced her with his arms, making it impossible for her to move. Even tho it was good feeling him so deep, it was infuriating nonetheless, but he quickly made up for it. His lips trembled as he told her to relax, kissing her passionately. His hands now moved lower, grabbing her thighs and buttocks, and he suddenly lifted her, along with his own body. Instinctively, Kouyou clung to him, causing him to laugh and place a kiss on the nape of her neck.

"I may not be a part of the battle units, but I'm not that weak." He said as a joke, but knowing him, Kouyou was sure he took offense at her reaction. She never liked his hypersensitive ego, but this wasn't the time to get bothered by that. She placed a kiss on his ear and whispered in her most seductive voice: "Then by all means do as you please."

She didn't need to say it twice, as he thrust in slowly and deeply. "As you wish, m'lady."

His rhythm was complete opposite of her's, but equally enjoyable- he knew exactly where to aim and how to make her want to scream, and in fact, he did manage to make her scream. It was short, but she did get embarrassed and dug her face in his hair. Sensing this, Dazai stopped moving and looked at her face. Similarly to Kouyou, he also liked the view in front of him, but he wanted even more, so he encouraged her by his own moans directly in her ear. "Mmmmm, see? No need to be shy."

He lied her down on the bed and kissed her ferociously, pressing his body on her's. Putting just the tip of his penis in, he carefully examined her expression. It was beautiful, even with smeared make-up and fiery red cheeks, he still couldn't get enough of it. This time tho, his rhythm wasn't so slow- it was obvious he was nearing his end too, and luckily for him, Kouyou wasn't behind. Encouraging him to go faster, she wrapped her legs around him tighter and let go of her voice, but what she was pleasantly surprised by was the fact that he still asks her if he can go harder- which she answered with a kiss.

Shaking and out of breath, they remained in this position for a while, their faces touching with forheads. They looked into each others eyes without any awkward tension now, quite the contrary actually, it felt relaxing. Laying a kiss on Kouyou's lips was so natural and seeing that this was reciprocated was priceless. He lied next to her, taking a deep breath, pulling her into a hug. She faced him and dug her fingers in his hair. His expression was as if he was melting, she knew she hit the right button.

Dazai lowered himself and placed his head on Kouyou's chest, wrapping his arms around her, scratching her back in circular motion. "Nee, can you continue?" He asked.

Since she found brushing his hair relaxing, she did so, completely embracing him in the process. He placed a kiss on her collarbone as a way to show his gratitude, mumrmuring something she didn't quite understand, but assumed was a "thank you". Somehow, even with this obvious incompatibility, it all felt very comforting. Two broken people, forced to cooperate, end up learning about each other and using it as a way to ease the stress. No doubt they would have never even interacted if the circumstances were different, but at the moment, this is the most normal they could get.

Holding each other tight, submerged in this artificial warmth, they spent their night. Shivering from the coldness inside, taking comfort in a sweet illusion.

#my writing #kouzai #kouyou ozaki #dazai osamu #bungou stray dogs #bsd fanfiction

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suicidefrantic · 4 years

Text

From A Late Night Interaction (The Never-ending List)- @diverse-hearts

It was a normal day, and that within itself should have alerted Dazai to something very wrong about to happen. Why? That was easy. No day in Yokohama was ever normal. The sun shined and that meant that something would always happen. It rained--- something would happen. Yokohama was just one of those places that seemed to always have something going on. When he had been on the other side, the mafia, he had been the source of those happenings. He made deals, tortured and got information all for the sake of Port Mafia. Most of the profit was thanks to him. Though now he was no longer an executive in Port Mafia, despite Mori trying to get him to go back to his old position.

No, now he worked for the Armed Detective Agency. He still had to work, but he could be lazy in his work--- unless Kunikida dragged him upon a case. He had a tendency to try new suicide methods he found in books, all of course ended in failure. It was something that started before he had even been forced to join Port Mafia. Twice, in face , he had tried to end his own life. The first time, he didn’t think it was so much to end his own life as to try to get some peace and quiet--- it didn’t even exist. The second time had ended up landing him in Mori’s clutches as a patient--- and he was of course disowned by that time. He didn’t care much for his family, he despised them in fact. Especially his father, how could a child not despise their father when he insisted on doing what he could to make his life miserable?

Nothing about his family made sense to him. The daily rituals, they might have made sense to a normal person--- but Dazai had never been normal and never would be. Things like human emotion , natural human interaction, love--- none of it made sense to the brunette. Perhaps that was the very reason why he hid behind a mask, walls and acted like a fool. He had been vastly different when he had been a Port Mafia executive. He showed less emotion , seemed to be bored often and rarely opened up. He focused on a game that was given to him, he still hated paperwork regardless of how old he got. As it was he was avoiding paperwork at this very moment.

He hummed slightly as he walked the streets of Yokohama. Hands in his coat pocket, brown eyes straight ahead. Then he landed on the familiar head of ginger head, he would know that short height anywhere. “Chuuuya!~” He couldn’t help but make sure the chibi knew he was there. “Did ya miss me that much to be roaming around the streets of Yokohama , looking for me?~” He brought his right hand to jab the other in his side with a finger. Or , so he was going to. That was before he saw the one person he would rather not see... ever. What the fuck was he doing in Yokohama? Okay, so it was true family friends lived here--- but this wasn’t anywhere close to that part of the city.

He saw the slightest of signs of the sunglassed adorned eyes, the business attire of the other along with brown-black locks similar to his own dark brown ones. He gasped and quickly grabbed Chuuya and tried to shrink so he could actually hide behind the ginger. “Why are ya so short, chibi” he hissed out slightly. He pressed his body close to the ginger’s , he was trying his best to be avoided by that watchful gaze.

.....

Katsumi had come to the city of Yokohama for many different reasons. First and foremost, he had a business opportunity here. Secondly, he thought to dirty his hands once more with a man named Mori Ougai--- the boss of the organization called Port Mafia. Thirdly, he had heard that this was the last place his youngest brother, Shuji, was. He had a feeling that the clown of a younger brother was still here. The thing about Katsumi was, he didn’t know much about Shuji. He knew of the slight interactions they shared at the manor and what their now late father had shared.

He had agreed with the decision of their father at the time, when their father had decided to disowned Shuji. Though perhaps that had been a little too harsh of a punishment for his little brother. For all he knew the other could have changed his looks, so it was like looking for a needle in a haystack , well more or less. Though he might as well see if he could find Shuji when he was in town--- he might not even be in Yokohama anymore. The family friends that lived here hadn’t claimed to have seen him after their eldest daughter’s passing. Shuji, what had he done?

He puffed on the cigarette that was perched between his lips before going to exhale the smoke with a slight sigh. He did deep down care about all his siblings, including Shuji. He would ask him how he was doing should they see each other. He would extend his arms to him and ask him to come back home. Despite it being years since they had even last heard from Shuji. Their father had passed, surely Shuji would wish to see his family again. Who wouldn’t wish to see their family, knowing that they could once again. He didn’t really know Shuji at all, much less about his ability.

Shuji’s ability had been a mystery within the family, most even thought he didn’t possess one at all. Everyone else in their family possessed rather strong abilities, but Shuji was always the black sheep. He had some time to kill before his business meeting, than after said business meeting he would go for an unofficial meeting to meet with Mori Ougai. So he decided he would see what type of sights Yokohama had. Katsumi didn’t come to Yokohama, Shuji had been the one their father had taken here--- and the eldest brother didn’t know what had happened here when their father had visited a hotel here for a few months. Well , he would be on the look out for odd behaviour.

#It's a mad world (Dazai Osamu)#Anything for Success (Katsumi Tsushima )#Never ending list #diverse-hearts #verse: canon #tw: suicide mention #tw: death mention #Wake Me up inside (Shuji Tsushima)#tw: long post

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datura-foxglove · 5 years

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Do you think that you can analyze Aku or Chuuya's ability ? Your analyzes are so interesting ! *-*

I’ve done Chuuya in previous post, so I will do Akutagawa here. Here comes the rabid dog of mafia!

All photos here are from easygoingscans, kissanime, and @dazaiscans.

(now that I think about it, why there is no picture of him with his introduction ability like other characters?)

Akutagawa Ryuunosuke, one of the upper ranked Mafia member and also the unnoticed kouhai former subordinate of Dazai Osamu. His Ability is Rashoumon, which enabled him to manipulate his clothing into weapons that devour everything.

Before I begin, can I just ask what is always bothering me? If his Ability is that he can control his clothes, where does the devoured things go? I don’t think clothes can poop. Does this means there is remains of everything in his clothes? Added to the fact that he rarely took a bath? My god no wonder Atsushi is always irked. Imagine the smell of corpse rotting and other unmentionable thing Rasho

*is stabbed by Rashoumon*

Ehem, let’s get serious. Akutagawa’s Ability, Rashoumon, let him transform his clothing (in this case, his black coat) to a monster like apparition or just simple blades that he can use to stab enemies.

...actually, Akutagawa is the only one in BSD characters (I think Kunikida is included?) that manifested true shounen characters tendency to scream the name of their move with so much passion. Also, he is the only one who names every shape of his Ability and remember them all.

(I have only heard Atsushi call upon his Ability name on Dead Apple and that is saying something)

*stabbed again by Rashoumon*

Ow, okay. Hmm... it seems that Rashoumon is so sharp that it can destroy concrete and metals with ease. Akutagawa can also use Rashoumon as bindings, and the clothing became so strong that normal people are unable to tear them apart (which was why he was so shocked that Atsushi can tear them with his claws and when Fitzgerald can easily shake aside his blades without any scratch).

Also, Rashoumon is actually one of the few (if not the only one) who actually has any defense measure. With his Ability, he devours the space before him just before any attack comes through (which unfortunately, takes time and a lot of stamina to deploy) and this will create an unbreakable barrier of which nothing can go through because there is no space for them to go through.

This means that in offense and defense, Rashoumon aced them all. Rashoumon is also very versatile in that he can create anything with it. He can create bindings, cages, blades, monsters (to trap and attack enemies), grappling hooks (to attach himself securely in place or switch place quickly), emergency bandages (to stop blood loss), another limbs (to snatch something from the enemy, to catch something, etc), creating an armor to boost his martial arts, and many other uses. In other words, Akutagawa’s imagination is the limit of the uses of his Ability. Unfortunately, Akutagawa only wishes for power to fight, which limited his Rashoumon to just weapons and shield.

(In BEAST AU, we see another side of Akutagawa in that he created toys to entertain Oda’s children and also to gently raise a children’s arm high so she can answer a question)

As for his strength, weakness, and in combat, Akutagawa’s strength is that his Rashoumon is very versatile. He can do almost everything with his Ability. His weakness? His mindset is too limited. He saw himself as a weapon and he only creates weapon. Open your imagination damn it you are a Pisces!

*stabbed again*

Ahem, it is unfortunate how Akutagawa only makes weapon with his Ability. Even his shield only exist because Dazai forced him to learn it. It is only later in the story after he lose to Atsushi that he creates an armor (to boost his own body strength). Also, while Rashoumon is incredible, his poor health and stamina is hindering him. We never see Akutagawa fights with his bare hand (the only time he fight in close combat is when he is surrounding himself with Demon Armor and he doesn’t bother to keep going at it for too long since compared to Atsushi and Chuuya, his own martial arts is lacking. Is it because Dazai also bad at martial arts, I wonder...)

However despite his own lacking in martial arts, Akutagawa is very agile and his body balance is excellent. He can survive on his own against his own Ability in a place full of field hazard.

(Aku avoiding Rashoumon’s blade while somersaulting to safer ground when he was hanging just with one hand)

He also displayed a sharp tactical mind when he is cornered, like when he fights against Atsushi, against his own Ability, and against people stronger than him (although his reluctance to get help from other people also severely limit the tactic he can uses). His tenacity and determination to win even when his body is on the verge of dying is also one of the factor (although a pitiful one). Just like Atsushi, because of Akutagawa’s spartan training, he can shrug off most pain and keep going no matter how battered his body is. But unlike Atsushi who can heal, Akutagawa can’t. So it’s just a matter of time until his body give up. That’s why for Akutagawa, a battle of attrition must be avoided (but of course he won’t surrender from any fight)

According to Dazai, Akutagawa is better at support than close combat. This is true, because in later chapters it is shown that Akutagawa can lend his Ability to someone else. Even if he isn’t lending his Ability, Akutagawa can provide support or cover fire from distance while close combatants like Chuuya and Atsushi held the enemy at bay. However, again, Akutagawa despise support, so...

(Atsushi wearing Rashoumon. Boosted by Akutagawa’s Ability, Atsushi’s claw can destroy anything and tears any defense like scraps of paper. Now imagine Chuuya wearing Rashoumon)

It is unclear whether damage to Rashoumon (like when Atsushi tears through it) affect his coat. Will it also tear? It doesn’t seem there is a limit to how much he can manipulate Rashoumon to stretch (not in range of attack, but more like when he creates a big monster apparition. I’m sure that his coat isn’t big enough to create that monstrosity, so he must be able to stretch it). It is also unclear as to what Akutagawa can use that can be defined as ‘clothes’. Does his underwear counts as one? Does just a few strands of threads enough for him to control?

(My best friend and I once joked that if someone attacked Akutagawa when he wasn’t wearing his clothes and just in underwear, then will he got naked if he lend his Rashoumon to someone else because when he lent Atsushi his Rashoumon, his coat also got transferred)

Akutagawa is also of the rare ones that actually shows strain in stamina when he uses his Ability excessively or for a long time. The only other people that I noticed showed this is Chuuya and Atsushi. Other seems like they can use their Abilities without it consuming their strength. And just like Chuuya and Atsushi, it’s easier to attack him emotionally than physically. Although for Chuuya and Akutagawa, they will only get more ferocious and reckless in battle rather than crumpled under the pain like Atsushi.

Dazai is Akutagawa’s weakness. Not only because of his obsession with his former mentor, but also because Akutagawa completely depended on his Ability to attack others. Dazai can nullify Rashoumon easily and probably keep up if Akutagawa wants to go close combat on him. Atsushi can and have proven to be able to defeat Akutagawa, although at that time Akutagawa is in severe mental strain and completely underestimated him. Kunikida can’t defeat Rashoumon, but he is smart enough to use field advantage to shock Akutagawa and stall for time enough until help arrive.

Against opponent with bodies so tough that Rashoumon unable to kill them in one hit ambush, Akutagawa will be having hard time if it turns into battle of attrition. He is also in unfavorable position if the enemy can keep closing up on him and forcing him to close combat (Chuuya, Fitzgerald, Atsushi, Kenji, and the Hunting Dogs came to mind. Basically, Akutagawa is bad against tankers and fighters, but extremely good against other glass cannons).

So, to defeat Akutagawa one have to be : 1) Be Dazai. 2) Able to tank against Rashoumon and wait it out until Akutagawa is too exhausted. 3) Outsmart or manipulates his obsessions. 4) Strip him naked.

That is all for Akutagawa! I’m sorry if I sound too harsh on him, but as a fellow Pisces I can understand him and also get frustrated at him most of the times because it’s like I’m seeing the worst parts of myself lol

#bungou stray dogs #akutagawa ryuunosuke #ability analysis #rashoumon #ask #bsd spoilers #Anonymous

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