#here is something very evil and fucked up that i’ve been thinking about lately

[stpansy]

where did the party go // heaven, iowa // the kintsugi kid (ten years later)

#here is something very evil and fucked up that i’ve been thinking about lately #parallels #web weaving #fall out boy #something about. will you love me when the fun is over. when IM not fun anymore #will you stick around when my novelty wears off and it’s just the two of us cleaning up bottles #oh i have got to kms #pete wentz you will pay

[pjmparadise]

3:23 am (don’t go, stay) Pt 1 || JJK

Pairing: jungkook x f! original character

Word count: 12.1k

Genre(s): fluff, romance, strangers to lovers, slight angst if you squint; neighbor au, pre-debut Jungkook au, pre-debut au, comic book artist Jungkook au, apartment au, neighbor au

Warnings: cursing, mentions of jungkook’s penis (yeah yeah... he sleeps naked ofc), brief injury (jk hurts himself bc he’s a dork); descriptions of anxiety and fear (jungkook is scared for a sec, oops); nudity mentions, jungkook is a little horny (what can I say....), jungkook gets a hard on lol; he’s also down bad pathetic crushing and is super clumsy, and brief mentions of home robberies (lol this feels random, but it isn’t I swear), very heavily dialogue based

Audience: 18+ (minors, DNI!)

Summary: Jungkook has had a couple of awkward run-ins with his pretty upstairs neighbor, who he may or may not be secretly pining over, and one night, she pays him an unexpected visit.

“My patio, though. Did you fall? I heard a thud.”

“Are you flirting with me? I’ve heard that pickup line before, but yours sounds a little different.”

He smiles. “I wouldn’t use pickup lines like those with you.”

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A/N: WOOO! my first jungkook fic!! We recently got his birth time, and thus this title was born lol! I’ve been working on this baby for a few months now, and it’s finally finished!! After a long time of contemplating, i decided to make our female character an original character, and i know it’s kind of a rare thing in the community, but i felt it worked best with my story. It’s been a bumpy ride with this one since it’s my first lengthy fic (over 12k words... sheesh!) that will be a part of a short series. I’m very excited and a little nervous, but if you’re here, I’m glad to have you here. Thank you for giving my work a shot <3 (ps. italics indicate jungkook’s inner thoughts as well as flashbacks)

a big thank you to my lovely beta’s: @cherrysoulth @the-boy-meets-evil​ and @jeonjcngkook​ you’ve all helped me shape my fic and have been so helpful, and I am so so grateful. truly. seriously. thank you for brainstorming with me, for reading my work, and for being so sweet and so supportive.

a special thank you to @itaeewon​ for the lovely banner! I love it so so much &lt;3

Jungkook is awake to hear the sound of a muffled thud nearby.

His bedroom is dark and silent save for the alarm clock resting on a bedside table flashing bright red numbers at him. ‘It’s late, it’s late, you should be asleep,’ the time says. Jungkook shuts his eyes, groaning and rubbing a hand over his face. “I know, fuck, I know,” he mutters. He’s fully naked, lying on his back, eyes wide open and boring into the ceiling, blanket kicked off to the side, and arms folded behind his neck–still remembering a phone conversation with Namjoon earlier in the day.

“So she walked toward the elevator as it closed, and you didn’t open it for her?” Namjoon scoffs over the phone, shaking his head and clicking his tongue to show he’s disappointed. He knows Jungkook froze, Jungkook already told him he wanted to reach out and push the button for her, but Namjoon asked again anyway—he likes to give him a hard time. “Every time you see this girl, things just kind of go wrong. I’ve noticed.”

“Yeah,” Jungkook says with a sigh. “I’ve noticed too. Is it a sign? Should I give up?” In his apartment, he sat curled up on his couch, his chin on his kneecaps. He’s fallen silent in thought.

“No, nothing like that. Maybe she didn’t get to see it was you, so she thinks it was someone else, or maybe she doesn't even think about it anymore. You know, like things that happen in your day you forget about later unless something reminds you of it?”

“Yes!” Jungkook relaxed, falling back against the couch with a hand over his forehead. “That probably is what’s going on. She went on with her day; other things have to happen, right?”

Namjoon was quiet. In his apartment, he was opening mail and reading over a proposal he was meant to sign soon. A project he hasn’t mentioned to anyone else, Namjoon folds the letter and sets it aside. “Sorry, yes. Yes, don’t worry too much. It will ruin your day. I mean that. Sorry for the pause. I just opened some mail.”

“Ah, okay. Well, you’re right.” Jungkook rose from his seat then. “Namjoon-hyung?”

Namjoon nodded even though he couldn’t be seen. “Yeah?”

“Thank you. I don’t know if I say that enough, but you’re always helping and guiding me when I don’t even realize I need it.”

“Thank you, Jungkook. Finish your comic tonight, and submit it tomorrow. I know you’ll place in the contest and do well. You haven’t scrapped it have you?”

Jungkook sighed. Rubbing his eyelids, walking distractedly around his living room, he spoke with his eyes closed. “I have it. I finished it; I just don’t feel too good about posting it, even with the pseudonym; it feels like too much. Too much with what we already have going on as a group even. We’re trying to do something together, and the comic stuff is just… I don’t know. I don’t want it to distract me.”

Namjoon was on his back patio, leaning over the railing and looking out at the park across from him. “Jungkook, I’m going to tell you something and think about it however you want to. I respect your life, but I think—and these are just my opinions. I think you doubt yourself too often and need to take some chances. Luck turns out; it does.” Namjoon folds his arms over the railing, leaning his body against it. “No rush, bro. At all. The music we’re trying to pursue, it’s not going anywhere, you know?”

Jungkook nodded from his living room.

“Like, okay, look.” Namjoon fixed his gaze on a flock of birds rising from the trees. “The guys, we all have our passions. Yoongi with his piano, Jimin is passionate about his dancing, Taehyung with his instruments, Jin and his gaming, and Hoseok he’s been designing his own clothes lately; with me, you know I like poetry and painting, but we all share music. That is for the team, for a part of us, but we each have so many parts. You like art and storytelling; your comics are so cool, bro. You love watching Taehyung practice the trumpet, and Jimin dance after practice. We like to see you pursue your other dreams too.  Pursue it, and don't worry about the group, is all I ask.”

Jungkook almost cried. He stopped pacing. His heart was racing; it was all he had heard momentarily. If Namjoon were there in front of him, he’d hug him. Maybe he’d even cry. “Ah, Namjoon-hyung…” he swallowed hard at the saliva in his throat, blushing. ‘Namjoon always knows what to say,’ he thought. “I will think about it. I will set an alarm, just in case. I’ll decide in the morning, you know it’s my style to do that the day of. If I think about it now, it will be like this all day, and I’ll stress too much.”

“Good, then. Just think about it.” Namjoon smiled.

Jungkook lies motionless with his eyes shut, eyebrows furrowed in concentration, mouthing along to Namjoon’s words. “We like to see you pursue your other dreams too.  Pursue it, and don't worry about the group, is all I ask.” He sighs. How could he not worry about the guys? He’s twenty-five. Most idols start out much younger, and the mandatory enlistment is already so near for his hyungs. It’s bad timing, is all. My comic book can wait.

He wants to sleep, so he turns over, laying flat on his stomach, facing his wall. Resting his full body weight on his flaccid penis is slightly uncomfortable, but he ignores it. It’s the type of restless night that he has no chance up against, and even with his eyes closed, he feels painfully awake. Jungkook is thinking of her again—her pretty smile, the pink sundress she wore in the elevator, her ability to look him in the eyes and not shy away—and it’s almost like she's here, in the same room with him. He pictures the sundress again, the way it clung to her frame, highlighting every curve. Man, I want her. He shifts his hips around, surprising himself with a massive erection.

The thud strikes again suddenly, and he sits up, alarmed. Shit, is that here? Like outside my apartment? Jungkook squints in the darkness, bringing a hand to the nightstand to fetch his glasses. Any sign of arousal is now extinguished.

“Bam?” He calls out in a sluggish voice.  The clock beside him flashes bright red numbers at him. 3:23. “Ah, shit,” Jungkook mumbles, turning the clock away. A sound he can’t distinguish comes from his left, directly outside his bedroom. “It’s like home alone,” he says to no one.

Jungkook rests his head against the wall, the texture cold against his feverish face. He can hear the sound of a muffled conversation. “Shit, that’s right here, right outside,” he mumbles, stepping back. He reaches over mechanically to switch on the lamp beside him.

Now, Jungkook is painfully aware of his nakedness and frenetically searches for bottoms to change into. He’s thinking about how his legs don’t feel like his own as he walks to the chair by the door, where he sees basketball shorts. It’s like sleepwalking. Even though he’s awake, Jungkook feels as though he might’ve actually fallen asleep, and this is some strange anxiety dream he’s creating to cope with his qualms about submitting his comic. Still, he goes along with it, quietly changing into the shorts, walking out into his living room, and ducking his head when he passes the glass patio door.

Cursing under his breath, annoyed at himself for forgetting to throw on a shirt, Jungkook shakes his head at himself. I don't want to fight an intruder shirtless and commando in basketball shorts, damn... A part of him feels a rush of adrenaline as he crouches behind a potted plant and, chewing on his lower lip, fantasizes about a robbery gone wrong, one where he puts his boxing skills to the test—the other part of him wants this to be a dream, a sign from the universe that he ought to submit his comic. I’ll fucking do it if I survive this.

Jungkook stays like that for a while until he hears a sound again. Rising from his crouched position, he walks toward the back patio window, pulling back the curtain to peer out. He feels a tightness in his chest, and his hands tremble slightly. A shameful part of him is relieved that he’s alone and no one is around to see how shaken up he is.

He whistles quietly, calling to Bam, forgetting his brother is watching over him tonight. Craning his neck, he glances around his balcony patio and sees nothing. “Bam, come here,” his whispering is frantic. He whistles again, patting his leg lightly. Nothing. You’re okay. It’s nothing. It’s probably the cats again tipping over the plants. Just fix it tomorrow. Now, go back to bed. You need it. Jungkook is about to whistle once more when he remembers. His eyebrows knit together; shaking his head, he places his fingertips on his eyelids, murmuring a lamented, “Ah.”

Thinking better of it, he draws the curtain back again and sighs with relief before taking note of a figure crouched behind a chair with a hand shooting up to rub their head. Panic washes over him. His inner monologue consists of a string of every curse word he can think of as he ducks out of view. Fuck, fuck, fuck, that’s a person. If he’d been scared earlier, now he’s downright petrified.

Desperate, he begins to look around the room for a weapon. Anything. Jungkook stands still, breathing in heavy gulps of air, cradling his head as he adjusts his vision to the darkness of the living room. ‘Can’t even turn a fucking light on,’ he thinks as he drops to the ground and crawls around his living room. His home’s silence unsettles him. Jungkook can hear the nothingness aside from his ragged breathing, so he pinches the skin on his arm and hisses at the sharp pain. Okay, real life it is. His bare knees skid against the hard flooring, and his clammy palms slip beneath him; his heart is thudding hard and fast, the blood pooling between his ears. He’s scowling, chewing his lower lip, his chest heaving as he fumbles a hand under the couch; he fingers a cold object and remembers what it is. Aha! He comes up with a golf club Taehyung left behind a few nights ago. I love you, Taehyung!

Jungkook grips the golf club until his knuckles take on a pale color. Having a weapon gives him a newfound sense of security, and like before, he’s fantasizing about kicking someone’s ass. “You come to my house at three in the morning? My house?” he says as he walks through his living room, rolling his shoulders.

He draws the curtain again, allowing his eyes to adjust to the darkness; he sees the figure facing away from him and hunching over, a phone glowing against their face. He can call the police, and he almost wants to, but to avoid the drama of a police visit at three in the morning, he decides against it. Imagine the guys find out I called the police? He shudders at the thought. The stranger looks small anyway.

Jungkook reaches for the doorknob and pulls back the door. It’s a lot chillier than he’d anticipated. He folds his arms over his bare chest instantly, the skin covered in goosebumps—his teeth chatter of their own accord.

“Don't move!” He raises the golf club in a mid-swing position, ready to strike. The person shifts around, holding up the hand with the phone. “I said, ‘Don’t move’!” He sounds ridiculous, but he doesn't care. In the shadows, he watches the phone’s glow shut off. “I called the police, so don’t try anything. They’re on the way.” His voice doesn't even sound like his own. He takes a few steps toward the stranger, his grip tightening around the golf club. His heart feels heavy in his chest.

It’s hard to make out the features of this person, but they rise, walk toward the dim light spilling from the neighbor’s window, and he can see them now. The stranger looks straight at him, and he’s met with wide eyes staring at him. She’s standing, squinting at him with a hand on her hip, and she smiles wide. Damn! If this were an animation, she’d have a halo effect.

Jungkook has seen her a total of seven times—he can’t help it; he likes to keep track of these things. It’s his upstairs neighbor, their interactions before tonight being brief and in passing (the most recent engraved in his mind and tormenting him), and he’s thought of her tirelessly and has fantasized about a time they should meet, and things go well for a change.

Jungkook doesn't know her name, but he could recognize those beautiful dark eyes anywhere. He’s looking into them now, his body anchored, mouth turning into sawdust.

She’s talking to him; he’s just not listening. Not really. He can't grasp the reality that it’s actually her, and she’s standing on his patio, and she looks so beautiful. Should he be thinking that?

Her long black hair is in a loose ponytail, her eyebrows arch as her deep dark eyes blink at him, and her lips move. “Please tell me you didn't really call the cops,” she says, bursting through his trance.

Damn, I sounded so stupid! Jungkook blushes. He hopes she can’t tell from where she stands.

“I was trying to call my friend; I swear I was not snooping or breaking in.” She smiles, but her voice sounds worried. Her eyebrows furrow like she’s trying to read him. “Honest,” she says in a small voice as she leans on the railing and raises her hand with the cell phone for emphasis.

She’s wearing a dark gray sweatshirt twice her size and sandals with white socks, and he can’t tell if she’s wearing shorts or if the sweatshirt is all. He can feel his face reddening just from the possibility of her nakedness underneath the sweatshirt, so he decides not to focus on that.

Jungkook rubs the nape of his neck, abashed. The cold air surrounds him, and he folds his arms across his chest, remembering his exposed chest. His empty threat echoes and bounces around in his head, and he looks away from her. “I didn't call the cops, sorry. I didn't know what else to say. It’s what they say in movies.”

“You would be right anyway; this is your patio.” She laughs a little at that, and his heart rate picks up. She pushes herself away from the railing, smiling, and walks toward him with an outstretched hand. Her nail polish is glittery, and he doesn't notice, but this small detail makes him smile. “I’m Rei. I live upstairs. Maybe you’ve seen me before.” There’s a coy look on her face as she says this, and it makes him nervous.

So her name is Rei!!! Fireworks set off, exploding behind Jungkook’s wide eyes.

“Huh, maybe,” Jungkook lies. He shakes her hand slowly, his hand enveloping hers entirely, the contact sending a warm shock through his body.

“Maybe a few days ago,” she says, with a finger to her chin, like she’s thinking over something. “Oh, yes, have I seen you on the elevator?”

“The elevator?” He feigns innocence as he tongues his lip ring anxiously. “That’s strange. Every day is a blur for me.”

“For me, too,” she replies. She’s almost smirking, watching Jungkook lie. He can tell she’s caught him. “You just look sooo familiar.”

“That’s a first.” Still, he denies it.

“Maybe you just look like someone I’ve seen,” she says, looking into his eyes as if searching for something she placed there. “You have one of those faces, you know?”

Jungkook raises his eyebrows, lips parted to speak, but nothing comes out. 

Is she flirting with me or giving me a hard time? DAMN!

“I have an ordinary face?” Jungkook wonders after a moment.

“Either that or my memory is failing me,” she says, sighing and shaking her head. “Which do you think it is?”

“I don't have an ordinary face,” Jungkook says in a small voice, “I have piercings on my face.”

“That’s true…” she’s watching the ground and suddenly looks into his eyes again. She holds his stare unblinking, and then her lips pull back into a big smile showing off cute bunny teeth. Just like me. “I’ve always had a good memory; I was just kidding.”

“Oh,” Jungkook says, blushing.

He can smell her perfume when a cold breeze blows past him, carrying her real-life presence and enveloping him in it. It’s sweet and mixed with a scent of detergent he recognizes, and he’s watching how strands of her hair float beside her face. She’s so cute. Damnnnn.

“You should open the door for the ladies,” Rei says, raising an eyebrow, and stepping closer, she says, “Just harmless advice. Stranger .”

“I will consider that,” he replies, avoiding her fixed stare, attempting to ignore how she’s riled him up with a loud clearing of his throat. But his chest is on fire, his heart thudding hard against his rib cage at her closeness. “My patio, though. Did you fall? I heard a thud.”

“Are you flirting with me? I’ve heard that pickup line before, but yours sounds a little different.”

He smiles. “I wouldn’t use pickup lines like those with you.”

She laughs, and he internally swoons. If he were a cartoon, his heart would burst out of his chest in comical dramatic thuds, his pupils heart-shaped.

“I’m kidding. I know I’m giving you a hard time when I’m on your patio at three in the morning, but I can explain why I’m here,” Rei mimics Jungkook’s movements by crossing her arms across her chest, her lower lip trembling, “but can I come in? It’s cold out, and I'm in the worst attire for this weather.” She gestures vaguely at her exposed legs, and Jungkook’s stare lingers before she notices—so he responds with a nod as he gestures for her to follow him inside. “Though you might have me beat. You came out here without a shirt, damn.”

Leading the way, he blushes at her comment and gives his head a light shake. She’s so talkative! Yoongi was right about her.

With a dreamy air about him, he remembers Namjoon’s words. Except now, all he remembers is: “You need to take some chances. Luck turns out; it does.”

Inside, Jungkook excuses himself to his room to change into a shirt. He reaches for his glasses beside his bed and goes to the closet. “Shirt, shirt, shirt,” he mutters as his hands sift through empty hangers. When was the last time he did laundry? He groans. “Shirt?” he reaches to pick up a heap of white clothing in the deep corner of the closet. He brings the shirt to his nose, sniffs, and walks back into the room, raising an eyebrow and nodding with approval. His hands are shaky as he maneuvers his head through a t-shirt sleeve in a panicked rush. He yanks the shirt off again, the t-shirt now inside out and knotted up in his grip; he groans as his fingers work the fabric. What if she’s gone when I go back out there? Agh, what if I’m dreaming all of this up, and lack of sleep is finally getting to me?

Rei’s voice comes through the walls, and though this is their first official meeting, he knows she’s smiling as she calls out to him. “You okay in there?”

Smoothing out the wrinkles on the shirt, he glances at his reflection behind the bedroom door before stepping out, his chest heaving and his nostrils flaring. “I’m okay; all is OK. Sorry.” He offers her a thumbs up and a big goofy grin that makes her laugh.

“Did you go on a hike without me?” She asks from her seat on his couch. She rests her face on her palm, looking up at him as he walks past toward the kitchen.

“Hike? I just put the shirt on; it was fighting me, though.”

“No, I meant,” she shakes her head, laughing. “I meant that as a while for changing into a shirt. Bad joke, sorry.”

“Ah,” Jungkook says.

“You’re wearing glasses,” she comments, her eyes looking over his face.

“I am,” he says, glancing her way.

It looks like she wants to say something else but doesn't.

He raises his eyebrows, nodding and tonguing the inside of his cheek. It doesn't happen often, but he doesn't know what to say. He walks into the kitchen with his hands in his pockets. “Do you drink tea?” He wonders as he fills a kettle with water and sets it to boil.

Rei nods, stretching her legs before her and craning her neck back to look up at the ceiling. “Chamomile or whatever you have, I’m not picky.” She points a finger above her head, motioning for him to look. “Those are stars. Is this wallpaper? It looks pretty. Is it glow-in-the-dark?”

Jungkook is in the kitchen, his eyes watching how her finger moves in a swift motion of the length of the ceiling. He thinks about how her hand felt in his grip and wishes he’d been more present. “It’s… I don’t know, actually. It’s not a wallpaper; it’s carved into the ceiling, and yes, it glows but not like the bright green; it’s softer.” He looks at her, and she scrunches her eyebrows in confusion. “Want to see?”

She twists her body to look at him, her smile so big he can’t help but return the affection. “Yes. Show me.”

“Grab the remote beside you; turn off the lights with it.”

She clicks the lights off, and the gasp she lets out makes his heart flutter in his chest. Aside from the hard thudding in his chest, the only sounds nearby are the buzzing of the refrigerator, the ice machine rolling out handfuls of freshly carved-out cubes, and the bubbling water in the kettle. Jungkook doesn't dare disturb the quiet; he’s leaning against the kitchen table, wanting her to stay. He looks for her in the dark, his eyes finding her silhouette on the couch, his lips pulling back into a smile. She’s better than in his daydreams; she smells sweet and of detergent, and she feels like a real person just like him, so near but out of his reach. And here, in the same room as him, so close to him, Jungkook realizes she could’ve left by now but hasn’t.

“I’d love it if I had this on my ceiling,” Rei pouts, “want to trade?” She clicks the lights back on, and Jungkook blinks, slowly adjusting to the brightness.

He pretends to mull it over, humming and tonguing his cheek. He puts on his best-thinking face. “No way, but you can come over and look at the stars when it's overcast or raining outside.” He walks toward the stove, where the water boils in the kettle. With his back turned to her, he’s hiding his blushing face as he sets two cups out before him.

“I think that sounds nice,” she replies, surprising him. “So what, I walk outside sometime, see a gray sky, and come downstairs to see you? ‘Hey, neighbor, can I see the stars?’ and you say, ‘Come in, I’ve just made cocoa, would you like some?’ and I say, ‘Thank you, are you sure?’ and then you say, ‘Sure’ except I never leave because I like the stars so much and you don’t know how to tell me I should go home.”

“Oh, that’s a good conversation. Is that what you’d like me to make? I like hot cocoa,” Jungkook says, brushing the hair out of his eyes. “You think I'd want you to leave?”

“Well, if I were here all the time….” she looks at him through her lashes, and he catches her eyes and raises an eyebrow at her, a playful smirk on his lips. And she shakes her head, laughing. “Do you mean it, though?”

“About you coming to see the stars whenever you’d like?” Jungkook asks, leaning against the kitchen island. She nods at him in two slow motions of her head. “Yes, I mean it.”

“The skies are unusually gray these days, aren’t they?”

“I’ve noticed that too,” he says, opening the fridge. He grabs a box of cherries and shuts the door with his elbow. “But no rain.”

“Exactly, I told my friend Kimi; she lives with me upstairs and is almost a sister to me, except we have different parents. Well, I told her, ‘Haven't you noticed how it looks like it’s going to rain every day, but it never does?’ and she says, ‘Rei, it rains. It just happens to be when you’re asleep,’ and can you believe it? I woke up yesterday, and it was early, not like tonight, but early for me, and I looked outside my window, and there was dew sticking to the glass, and it was all sweaty when I touched the windowpane, and I realized she was right, it rained during the night, and I just missed it. Isn't that something so lame?”

“Huh,” Jungkook says, chewing on a cherry and offering the box to her. She shakes her head no and mouths a ‘Thank you’ to him. “So we’re off asleep and just missing the rain, so it always works out that we’re missing out on something during the day. It’s always like that. Kimi sees the rain, and you’re off sleeping, but you probably get to see other things I miss when I’m taking a nap and on and on.”

“That’s true. But I thought about catching it tonight. When I went to bed hours ago, I kept thinking about the rain and wondering if I stayed up, I might see it, and it wouldn’t just feel like I kept missing it and living the same gray day.”

“It’s like Santa Claus,” Jungkook says, scrunching his nose as he tongues a cherry stem in his mouth, “waiting up all night for him to show up just for you to see your dad dressed up as Santa and realize he’s been putting the presents down there for years.”

Rei laughs at this and covers her face with her hands like she’s protecting her laugh from anything sharp. “Your dad did that? For real?”

Jungkook scrunches his eyebrows and pinches his nose bridge, and with a tone of feigned affliction, he says, “Yeah, he did. I knew the truth before a lot of my classmates.”

“How old were you? When he ruined Santa Claus. Do you remember a thing like that, like how old you were?” She rests her chin on her palm like she’s weighing her head. He thinks she looks cute like that but doesn’t say anything.

“I don't know exactly, but I was in the third year of school,” Jungkook says, suddenly thinking back on his infancy. He chews his lower lip when the answer suddenly comes to him, and he remembers the conversation he had with the guys a while back. They’d all taunted Seokjin when they found out Seokjin didn't know the truth about Santa until he was thirteen. “I was seven. I can't believe I remembered that. I was seven….” His mouth hangs open, and he remembers what he wore when he first saw his dad hunched over behind the tree with a gift in hand— a white flannel pajama set and his mother’s slippers. Where has this memory been hiding?  “Damn.”

“I was six,” she says, smiling. “My childhood was ruined a year before yours. Or wait, are we the same age? I just assumed we were.” She laughs again, bringing a hand up to her face to hide her smile.

“I assumed the same thing,” Jungkook admits, feeling his cheeks redden. “I’m twenty-five.”

“Oh wow,” she says, almost to herself. “Me too.”

He doesn't know what else to do but clear his throat and nod.  He never imagined getting this far (whatever that means). He’ll struggle to explain this later when Namjoon asks—Jungkook knows he’ll ask.

The kettle begins to whistle, and he’s reaching for the two coffee mugs as she says something behind him he doesn't catch. And he turns his head over his shoulder and nods at her. “What happened? Sorry, I didn't catch that.”

“I said, ‘You don't have to do that for me.’” She turns her head away as she says this, her long hair cascading along her profile, hiding her.

“I have a visitor,” he says, turning over to look at her with a grin. “I have good manners.”

“Oh, sure, manners,” she replies, rolling her eyes at him like a friend he’s known for years. “Is that my tea? It smells amazing.”

“It is, but it’s hot, so let’s leave it here.” Jungkook offers her a tight-lipped smile, shyly making his way toward her. “Mind if I sit next to you?”

“No, not at all; come, sit.” She pats the spot beside her and scoots over to make room for him. “Thank you for the tea and for letting me in. I know it’s late.”

Jungkook glances at the clock on the kitchen stove. 3:55. “It’s not that late. I was awake anyway, so I didn’t mind.” He’s toying with his lip ring again. “Why were you out there anyway?”

It’s been some time since Jungkook’s been this close to a girl. He feels his heart thudding away in his chest, her presence stirring up a desire that’s been dormant. Loose strands of hair frame her face, and his eyes follow her movements as she brushes the strands away. She looks embarrassed, her cheeks reddening. Still, he finds her so cute. “Truth?”

“Yes.” He scrunches his nose when he smiles at her.

“I locked myself out of my apartment. Before bed, I stepped out into my patio for a smoke and to read more of my book. I was also trying to test my rain suspicions to see if I could catch it while it happened. So, I’m out there romanticizing my life, pretending I’m in a movie; you know how we act when we’re alone and suddenly want to be poetic?” She looks at Jungkook, and he nods lightly. “That was me, except I got cold right away and said, ‘Oh fuck this, I’m going to bed,’ and that’s when I realized I’d locked the back door, and I was so mad I almost cried.” She places her fingertips against her forehead, continuing her recounting. “So, of course, I get the idea of calling a locksmith, but they’re closed; I don’t know what people should do if they need help during the night.”

“Most people sleep, I think.”

She clicks her tongue. “Right, some people do, but you and I are not those people, right?” She draws an imaginary line with her forefinger from her chest toward him. He nods and feigns oblivious as his leg brushes against her bare thigh as she shifts in her seat. “So, not only is every locksmith not available, but my service is horrible, so I am standing on my tiptoes trying to get a bar, and my phone slips. My heart almost burst.” She brings a hand to her chest for visual effect, and his eyes watch her chest as it rises and falls with each breath. He’s smiling at her—a wide smile that hurts his cheeks. “If it weren’t for your patio, my phone would be shattered to hell on the ground. I look over my balcony, and for the first time, I notice how close our balconies are.” Rei presses her hands over her thighs, leaning forward in her seat and fixing her eyes on the glass patio door across from her. “I mean, I’m sure you’ve noticed, but I don’t go out there much. Anyway, I’m rambling. I noticed I could jump directly into your patio because there’s a mattress out there, and well….” She makes a motion with her hands that says: ‘ Ya know?’

“You weren’t scared of jumping? The balconies are close, but we’re still six stories up.” Jungkook rests his hands on his knees, fully invested in this story; his eyes never leave her. She forms a tight line with her lips and gives him a serious look that makes him laugh. “Ok, so you were scared.”

“I was scared! But there’s a mattress out there, you know,” she says in a small voice. She’s blushing and scratching at the side of her nose to avoid his eyes.

Jungkook notices this and clicks his tongue, leaning back in his seat.  “So it was not an accident, then?” He raises an eyebrow at her, sucking his teeth in feigned disapproval.

The truth is, he’s not mad about it; he wants her here. He almost feels like he is in a dream.

“Not entirely. Don’t ask me how I thought about returning to my place after retrieving my phone because I didn’t think that far ahead.”

“Oh, there’s a mattress out there. You could’ve just slept there; no big deal,” Jungkook says with a laugh. Rei brings a hand to her face to hide behind, making a groaning sound. “I’m sorry; I don’t mean to laugh at you. I just don't know what to think— this has never happened before.”

“And it won’t happen again; let’s hope.” She laughs, and it’s different from before; it sounds deeper like she reached into herself and decided to really show him. And Jungkook likes the sound of her laugh but does not comment. She moves a few strands of hair from her face and rests her cheek on her hand, leaning on the couch's armrest. It’s slowly dawning on Jungkook how badly he wants her. What am I supposed to do with her this close to me? Damn. “So, what’s your name? You didn’t say when I told you mine.”

He rises from the couch, remembering their tea.

“Jeon Jungkook,” he says as he pours the tea, “I guess I forgot to introduce myself. Huh.”

Rei’s looking at him with her chin in her hand and a serious look on her face as he’s walking toward her with an outstretched hand in offering. “It’s chamomile,” Jungkook announces.

“Jeon Jungkook,” She repeats with a light smile. “I like it. I don’t know any other Jungkooks.”

“Yeah? I’ve had this name for a long time. I like it too.”

She takes the cup and brings it to her face, inhaling the scent and shivering, and says, “Thank you again. This tea smells sweet. It reminds me of this tea my grandmother used to make my sister and me when we were kids. She would put a little bit of honey, the real kind, and peppermint leaves; it was….” She sighs longingly. “I miss that tea; this smells like home.”

Sitting beside her, he takes a sip of tea, his gaze on her unmoving. Her lips part as she blows gently, the steam rising from the cup in lazy strokes. Jungkook’s heartbeat quickens when she matches his stare with her deep dark eyes that seem to look for something in his.

“This tea has honey, but I doubt it’s the real kind you mentioned, but I still think it’s good.” He clears his throat, looking away as he adjusts his glasses on his nose bridge.

“I like your glasses. I wanted to say that earlier,” Rei comments, taking a sip of her tea, “I don't know why I didn't say anything.” She moves around in her seat, tucking her legs beneath her, then asks, “Can I wear them? Are they prescription?”

“They’re just reading glasses. You can wear them. I put them on sometimes just because they suit me,” he pulls his glasses off, wipes the lenses on his shirt, and hands them over.

“Ah, so you like how they look on you,” she says, her eyes gleaming as she takes the glasses from him and sets them on her face. “How do they look?”

If he were a cartoon character from one of his comics, he’d have melted into a puddle, exploded like dynamite, turned into stardust, and returned to his original self. Except, she’s a real person just like he is, flesh and blood and so beautiful, and he’s off in space being reborn.

“Look at me,” he motions for her to turn his way. She looks straight at him, wearing his glasses and blushing at his attention. She begins to unfold in front of him, her playful demeanor softening. “You look pretty. If they weren't my prescription, I would give them to you.”

“Here, they’re hurting my eyes,” she says, laughing. She removes the glasses and starts rubbing her eyes with closed fists. “You’re sweet, though. I couldn't take a guy’s glasses. How will he go on drinking his tea and letting me in to watch the stars?”

Jungkook feels a warmth spread in his chest. God, how is she real? He runs his fingers through his long hair and coughs once, then again. His nerves are getting to him. She’s too close to him, her bare thigh soft against his leg. He begins to count backward in his head.

“Were you really awake already, or did I wake you?” She asks him all of a sudden. Her eyes stay on him as if waiting for him to say something else.

“You don’t believe me? I was awake. Swear.” He raises his free hand at his side.

She appears to mull that over for a bit, bringing her cup of tea to her lips but not taking a sip. “What were you doing?”

Jungkook is silent, and she sits unmoving until he speaks.

What was I doing? Besides dreading another deadline? Thinking about a comic I might not submit or thinking about not having a shot in hell with a girl like you? Images of the times they’ve run into each other flick by in his head like a slow PowerPoint slide. The registration office, desolate stairwells, crowded evacuations, elevators closing, Rei standing in front of him in a summer dress with a strange look on her face; Rei on his back patio, hunched over with a phone near her face; Rei in his apartment, on his couch, next to him. He feels the adam’s apple in his throat rising and falling. He’s been quiet for who knows how long.

“Thinking, I guess.” He breathes out a breath he didn’t realize he was holding. “I don’t know why I took so long to say that. It sounded boring in my head, so I had to think if there was something else I forgot about.”

“That is pretty boring, just thinking. But that’s life, though, isn’t it? Kind of boring sometimes.”

Jungkook nods, blushing and avoiding looking at her. What if she can read minds? He straightens his posture and runs his fingers through his hair again, his eyes fixed on the ceiling of carved-out stars. It’s OK. It’s OK. She’s still here.

The living room is almost dead silent. Jungkook notices how Rei sips her tea and looks over the area. It’s neat, for the most part. Bam’s toys lay scattered near the laundry room entrance, along with some of Jungkook’s dirty socks the dog likes to chew on, and Bam’s food bowls are resting up against the wall beside his doghouse. The potted plants Namjoon gifted Jungkook are still alive and pop against the beige coloring of the walls in front of them. The TV is massive, his Playstation console resting on its side. Her eyes find the corner shelf where Jungkook’s Marvel figurines are on display behind glass doors, and she turns to look at him with a sparkle in her wide eyes. “Are those yours?” She gestures with her thumb. He nods, chewing his lower lip anxiously. “Can I look?” She rises from her seat when he motions for her to go on. Like standing in a museum, she silently peers into the display with her hands clasped behind her back.

“I just got that case a few days ago when I got that plant next to you,” Jungkook remarks, joining her.

“I remember,” she says distractedly.

“You remember?” His eyebrows raise, and he looks at her fixedly, bringing a fingernail to his mouth. He scrunches his eyebrows, rubbing at his forehead with his fingers; he remembers, too.

He’d bumped into Rei on his way upstairs, both arms holding the bonsai trees obstructing his view, taking long strides up the stairs, chanting to himself and grunting in rhythm. He was on the 50th stair.

“Hey!” A voice shouted at him. “What the hell?”

Jerking to the side of the staircase, flattening against it, Jungkook jumped at this voice. “Sorry! You’re okay?”

The voice struck him as familiar, but mostly, he was surprised he wasn't alone on the staircase. The person laughed a lively laugh, and he felt his chest tighten. He lowered the plants, meeting her eyes. “I’m okay,” she said, shaking her head. She grinned at him, and his heart gave a squeeze. “These things happen. I should take the elevator next time.”

“The plants, I mean. You walked past me going up the stairs and hit me on the head with it.” She glances to her right, catching his eyes briefly. He groans, nodding lightly. She continues, voicing their shared memory, “You were carrying two pots of plants that day and lost your balance or something like that.”

He nods with his eyes closed, his eyebrows drawn close together as he tongues his cheek. “I remember, too,” he opens his eyes to look over at her as he continues, “sorry again. My friend told me not to do that, and I didn’t listen.”

A Spiderman figurine holds her attention, and she’s smiling. He feels his cheeks burn at her sincere gesture. She pretends not to notice and says, “You like running into me like that, then?”

“Like how? It was an accident,” Jungkook says, standing beside her and stretching his arms behind his head.

“Riiiiight,” she says, smirking. “Accident.”

“I didn’t know you were in the stairwell. No one takes the stairs,” Jungkook counters, his voice taking on a defensive edge.

“I take the stairs, I like the exercise, and it’s less embarrassing for me,” She admits. “Running in front of people just looks so stupid. I get too worked up about it and think people are just laughing at me, and they might be, but this way, I can do it in private.”

“Running across the street when cars let you pass is very embarrassing for no reason,” Jungkook says with a laugh. “And okay, fair. I took the stairs that time just because the wait for the elevator was so long. I didn’t mean to hit you that time either.”

“Jungkook, we have to stop meeting like this.” She gives her head a light shake and looks down at her hands. She picks at the glitter on her nails distractedly. “So many accidents. We’re too clumsy.”

“I know what you mean. Namjoon told me to leave one of the plants in the lobby, but I was too impatient. I’m like that sometimes.” He can’t seem to stop blushing.

But Jungkook has to agree. There have been too many accidents in their run-ins with each other, and he remembers each encounter with extreme detail.

Jungkook saw her for the first time when he moved in and face-planted into her back as she stood by the entrance of the registration office. But it didn't happen right away, at least.

The office was big and bustling with sounds. Jungkook walked in, asked out loud if there was a line, and someone nearby replied that yes, there was a line, and he was right at the tail of it. He bounced on the heels of his feet, humming a melody to himself, tapping his fingers against the sides of his legs. A TV across from him played a K-Pop music video of a group he’d never heard of. Beneath the TV was a table with a Terra Kaffe espresso machine accompanied by a spread of dan-pat bbang, songpyeon, bingsu, and reusable cups. His stomach grumbled, but he kept still, willing himself to look away.

Rei stood in line, a foot or two in front of Jungkook, sporting her hair pulled back, secured neatly with a clip the shape of a butterfly. She wore casual clothing: a black long-sleeve sweatshirt, baggy pants, and white Nike shoes. She had earbuds in, and he could hear the muffled sounds of a guitar, and though he did not fully understand why, he smiled.

“Next in line, please,” a woman behind a glass window called out, taking an uninspired sip of her iced coffee as she waved a hand toward her. “Come on, next in line.”

Jungkook wore a black t-shirt, navy plaid bottoms, and socks with slides, though standing there, he began to regret his attire. His eyes looked over the office, and mentally, he tallied the number of girls he spotted. Nine. He felt his cheeks warming up, his neck growing hot, and when he looked over to his right, a girl waved at him, tucking a strand of hair behind her ear. He blushed, nodding at her. Why hadn’t he worn something nicer?

He was adjusting his sock, balancing on his right leg, when a dog ran past him, toppling him over. He hopped on his right leg, his arms flailing at his sides, and his face instantly smashed into Rei’s back. If he had a chance to do it over, he wouldn’t have cried out so loud. Even now, months later, he cringes at the memory. He’d turned away, cupping his aching nose after she whipped her head over her shoulder at the sudden impact. Their eyes met briefly, her pupils dark and wide; she mouthed something to him, his ears ringing, all of the sounds around him muddled into incoherence.

“I’m so sorry. Excuse me,” Jungkook mumbled, turning at his heel and speed-walking past a group of girls that giggled when he passed them.

Jungkook thought about her all day after that first day. While he unpacked, walked Bam, and cooked for himself later in the evening. She was pretty, sure, but there was something else. Something he couldn’t break apart and understand— it was new and brought on a strange sensation and desire to know her. He didn't know it then, but he’d see so much of her it would become nearly impossible not to think of her.

And here they are, five months later.

“You agree, don't you?” Rei prods. “Maybe you’re the clumsy one, Jungkook. I was just standing there.” She says that like she knows what he’s thinking. That first day they saw each other. She’s thought of it too.

He swoons at the sound of his name escaping her lips again. “Jungkook,” he mouths, taking it in—not wanting to forget how it sounds when she says it.

She turns on her heel, returning to the couch and fetching her phone from between the cushions. Her backside faces Jungkook, and he shyly lowers his gaze when he catches a glimpse of her ass in shorts that do a poor job of hiding anything. “I’m impatient too, as you know now,” she offers, looking down at her phone, her face illuminated with the screen's glow. She reads something and has a serious look on her face. “It’s getting late, isn’t it?”

He squints at the clock on the stove. 4:27. “Yeah, I guess so,” he replies, trying to hide his disappointment.

“Your figures are cool, by the way. They look like the real deal. Are they?”

He nods silently, tonguing his lip ring. Jungkook watches her with a gut-wrenching desire to step forward and take her face into his hands and kiss her.

“You’re a Marvel geek. I'm guessing,” she says, staring down at the ground. It’s like she’s suddenly shy. Her voice is quieter. “I like some of the movies. I saw the new Spider-man with my friends last week. I’m late, I know.”

“I have Disney plus,” Jungkook says, his eyes looking her over. “And I’m not trying to say anything like the ramen stuff, you know, all that stuff people say to each other recently to get together. It’s a real offer.”

Rei laughs, bringing a hand to cover her face. “So you don't want to get together?” She looks at him with a deep intensity in her eyes and smiles coyly, making Jungkook swallow hard.

“I said that, didn't I? That’s not what I meant. It’s just that nowadays, words have different meanings. Let me rephrase-”

She takes a step closer to him, and his chest feels ablaze. She’s so close he can smell the fragrance of her clothing much clearer than before. We use the same detergent.

“I’d like to come by sometime,” she says, her eyes lingering on his hands holding his cup, “for a movie, no ramen.” Now she smiles warmly and takes a step back.

She likes doing this to me. It’s torture.

“Really?”

“Yeah, why not? You seem nice. I don’t think you’d be a freak, right?”

“Right,” he says, nodding.

“I know we’re technically strangers, but you have a good vibe,” she says, shrugging. “I show up here so late, and you serve me tea. You’re a nice guy.”

“Am I?”

“I think so. Are you?” She quirks up an eyebrow, twitching her lips between a smile and a laugh.

Jungkook smiles at her. He feels his cheeks growing warm. “I am. I don’t know why I challenged you about it.”

“Because you like to flirt with me, I think,” she retorts, crossing her arms across her chest.

“I’m just a nice guy,” he says as he places his palms  against the kitchen counter for balance, “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

“Uh-huh.” She glances at her phone screen, reading the time, and Jungkook does the same with the time on the kitchen stove. She's going to leave. I can feel it.

“I guess I should get going…”. Rei looks apologetic for some reason. A pink shade colors her cheeks, and she brings a hand to her forehead and lets out a deep breath as she says, “Kinda hot in here, no?”

Jungkook wants to tell her she doesn't have to go and that he doesn't want her to, but he only offers her a timid smile and looks away, nodding in agreement. “A little. I’ve been feeling it too,” he says, looking at her and catching her eyes.

Should I move now? Is it now? My move? Will she kiss me back?

Still, he brings his cup of tea to his lips as she stores her phone in the pocket of her hoodie, and she pauses as if remembering something. “And why is there a mattress outside?”

He’s drinking his tea and begins to choke. Coughing, his chest on fire, and his throat closing in, Jungkook rushes to double over his sink, and she’s standing behind him with a wrought-up look.

“Are you okay?” She steps closer to him, lightly touching his arm.

Jungkook coughs, clearing his throat; he can feel the blood rushing to his face as his eyes instinctively shed tears. The feeling of her touch on his arm feels like fire. “Sorry, I don’t know what happened. The uh, the mattress?” He looks toward his patio, a panicked look in his eyes behind the tear-stained glasses. He pauses, looking down at the floor. “I have them all over, so I can nap when I feel like it.”

She throws her head back and laughs, not taking him seriously until silence hangs between them. She raises an eyebrow. “Wait, really?” With that, her phone goes off in her pocket, and she reaches for it. “Sorry, one sec.”

He leaves her to talk on the phone with whoever and walks over to pick up Bam’s toys and dirty socks to throw in a hamper. Jungkook can hear the muffled phone conversation a room over, so he hums a song. She speaks in a hushed voice, but he hears his name mentioned.

He coughs before he reappears in the kitchen.

She’s humming to herself, lingering by the door, and his heart squeezes. ‘Don’t go,’ he wants to say. ‘Stay.’

“I should go…” she says, not budging from where she stands, chewing her lower lip, looking at Jungkook through full eyelashes. Almost as if waiting for him to interject, and him, not knowing how to.

“If you want,” Jungkook says. He swallows hard at a lump in his throat. The plead to have her stay pushed down into his chest.

DAMN!! 

A look he can’t decipher takes over her face, and then the next moment, she’s smiling at him, reaching for the doorknob just as he does. They share an embarrassed exchange of looks when their hands touch, and he shakes his head, an anxious chuckle escaping him. His face feels warm as he pulls the door open for her. Rei steps out into the hallway, turns over her shoulder, and raises her hand to wave at him slowly.

Again, he yearns to kiss her and again lacks the courage.

“Bye, it was nice meeting you, Jungkook.”

“Goodnight, Rei,” he replies, leaning on the doorframe, his heart sinking into his stomach.

The next day, Jungkook is cooking for himself. He submitted his comic in the morning and has endlessly replayed last night’s events in his head.

“I should’ve kissed her,” he says to Bam.

Jungkook’s phone pings a few times and is followed by a call. He answers, distracted as he serves himself bibimmyeon and pork belly. He props the phone between his chin and ear, tilting his head comically as he walks back and forward to the table, setting down a steaming bowl of sticky rice. “‘Ey, Namjoon-hyung!…” He drags the chair out from underneath and settles in front of his plate. Jungkook reaches over the table, yanks a paper towel, grabs his chopsticks, and begins digging into the rice. “Wait,” he glances at the clock on the wall. 6:47. “It’s almost seven,” Jungkook says, confused. “Your meeting with the record executive started at six… it ended that quickly?”

Namjoon smiles. “The meeting was quick. I have really good news.” He pauses for effect. He’s in the studio, eyeing the email on screen. “Hold on,” he says, placing the phone on the desk and turning the speaker on.

 Jungkook is chewing his cheek, the chopsticks loosening in his grip. He lets the silence exist for a few seconds, then he rubs the back of his hair, leaning back in his chair, his spare hand fisted over his mouth. “What?” He grumbles into his fist.

“He liked my demo. He had some comments about it but said it would do well. He said everyone else liked it; whatever that means, we’re in. He said we can come in for a group meeting where we introduce the guys, and that way, we can all talk about what we want to do going forward.”

Jungkook is speechless; they’re in. All seven of them. He can’t believe it. He stares wide-eyed at Bam, who tilts his head quizzically. “No way. No way. Is this for real?” Jungkook’s heart is thudding so hard he can see it beneath his shirt.

“I swear, Jungkook. It is.”

“Do the guys know?” Once more, Jungkook meets the eyes of his dog, and he’s smiling so hard he feels his nose scrunch.

“Some of them do, yeah. I was with Jimin earlier.”

“Yoongi,” Jungkook says, bringing his palm over his forehead. Smiling with his eyes crinkling, he feeds himself rice. “Yoongi will be so happy. We all are, you know but him .” Jungkook makes a sound with his teeth. “He’ll be so proud of all of us.”

“I know, I know. Yoongi hasn’t slept well since we first submitted our demos, and when I mentioned I had a meeting with an executive, he grabbed his jacket and took off to the studio. I don’t know what he’s been doing when he comes in, but I know he might cry.”

“I might cry too,” Jungkook admits in a hushed voice.

Namjoon wipes at his eyes, and a silence hangs between them. They’re both sniveling on the receiving end. After Jungkook clears his throat and allows himself another sniffle, he starts eating again.

“What did you make?”

“I have a lot of rice left. I made bibimmyeon and pork belly, but I have some noodles, too, if you want me to make them. Come and eat with me if you’re free. Let’s celebrate.”

“Can I leave my bike outside?” Namjoon asks. Namjoon shuts off the shared laptop in the studio, grabs his puffer jacket and the book he’s been reading, heads over, and flips off the light switch. His phone remains on speaker as he locks the door and shoots a glance down the hallway. From a distance, Yoongi does a quick two-finger salute in passing. Namjoon’s heart gives a squeeze.

Jungkook thinks it over. He’s never seen anyone leave a bike outside. “I don't know, honestly. Bring it to my apartment; it’ll be fine. I have something to tell you, by the way,” he says, referring to the previous night.

“Just saw Yoongi,” Namjoon says, jingling the keys on his finger and making his way out of the building. “I have to tell him, but I think he’s already in his studio locked up. You know how he gets.”

“He won’t let you in,” Jungkook says, scrunching his nose and stifling a laugh through a mouthful of steak.

“Exactly. And what is it? I’m bringing my bike, I thought about leaving it chained, but it’ll stress me out.”

“He’s almost done with his demos, Hobi said the other day,” Jungkook replies. “But it’s about her, bro. You won’t believe me.”

Namjoon laughs through the phone. “Mystery-neighbor-crush her, you mean?”

“Neighbor stuff, am I that annoying? Don't answer that. I’ll leave the door unlocked for you; just come in because I have to wash Bam.”

“All right, bro, give me twenty, and I’ll be there.”

Jungkook is sitting across from Namjoon, who raises an eyebrow at him as he chews on his steak. “So she came in here,” he swallows his bite and continues, “was on that couch?” he signals with his chopsticks, “and she went home after that?”

Jungkook nods. The moment he’s been dreading: admitting he chickened out. He’s not proud of himself and debates whether to omit a few things.

“Yeah, what else could’ve happened?” He takes a drink of his water, avoiding Namjoon’s gaze.

“So many things, bro. But, the very least that should have happened is that you got her number or something like that. Did you ask?”

Jungkook is quiet. His cheeks are flushing with heat. He’s chuckling at himself, remembering how he clammed up around her.

“You just let her leave, right? She walked out, thanked you, and you probably made her a tea she didn't drink.” Namjoon is laughing when Jungkook groans and shakes a fist above his head. “Ah, Jungkook!”

“I know!” Jungkook shakes his head. “But I got a name. I got a name; that’s something, isn't it?”

“Well?”

“It’s Rei. I don’t know where she’s from and all that, but that name just suits her, doesn't it?”

“It does, it does. But come on, bro! This girl lives so close!  For starters, she stuck around. She could've just left after explaining herself. Instead, she sat down right where you’re sitting and stayed .” Namjoon feeds himself rice as he shakes his head and continues while he chews, “She looked at you the last time we evacuated; I saw her. And how many times have you bumped into her already? She probably thinks you’re out to get her.”

“I know. I kept thinking the same. I thought: ‘She could've left by now, but she hasn’t. I don’t know, hyung, I just froze. I just kept nodding; it was so stupid.” Jungkook closes his eyes and places his fingertips over his eyelids, shaking his head in lament.

“Not stupid, bro,” Namjoon offers, swallowing his bite. “I’ve seen her around too, and she’s really pretty, but it’s a weird sensation when she’s nearby; it’s like her beauty is different. I don't mean it like I want her now, nothing like that, but it sort of feels like I am stuck too. Like, what can I say right now?”

Jungkook nods, understanding the sentiment. “It knocks the wind out of me sometimes when I see her,” he says, reaching for a napkin. “I wanted to say so much more, but I couldn't. It was different being close to her like we were. This girl is killing me, Namjoon-hyung. You said she looked at me?”

Namjoon smiles warmly. “She did, at the evacuation a week ago. Was it a week now?” He wipes at his mouth and looks at Jungkook expectantly. Jungkook nods at him. “Well, a week ago, I went out last and caught her looking your way. She had her hand like this,” he brings his hand up to shield his eyes against nothing, “and she was smiling. She didn't see me noticing.”

Jungkook scoots closer. He rests his chin on Namjoon’s knee, looking straight at him until he’s cross-eyed. “At me?” he asks, loving that this happened.

Namjoon shakes his leg free and takes a sip of his water. “I think she likes you. She was looking at you the same way I’ve seen you look at her,” Namjoon reaches for his phone, checks a text, and continues, “so she would’ve been into you. Did she flirt with you?”

Jungkook mulls it over. He doesn't want to read too much into it, but he thinks she did flirt. “I could be wrong, and I’d hate to be wrong,” he says, “but I feel like she was into me, like, actually into me, and I thought about kissing her. Would that have been too forward?”

“Hmm,” Namjoon says as he chews his food. “Maybe. I have to see you two in action, to say. I think you can trust your gut, and if you felt that way, maybe she was giving you those vibes on purpose, you know? Sometimes girls are so forward that it's confusing. Like, ‘am I reading this wrong?’ When the whole time there was only one way to read it.” He gives his head a light shake.

“She was talkative like Yoongi predicted.”

“Oh, was she now?” Namjoon looks surprised. “I sided with Jimin when he said she seemed shy and kind of mean. Not mean, but you know the mean look girls have that makes them look kind of cool?”

Jungkook nods with a mouthful of steak.

“That’s actually interesting that she was talkative. That’s good. I think you’d do bad to get with a shy chick again.”

Jungkook once dated a girl in high school he didn't know how to talk to, and when he meant to break things off, he’d just ignored her for the entire year. She was too shy, too quiet, too reserved. He was everything else but.

“I agree with you on that,” Jungkook says honestly. “Back to Rei, she’s even prettier up close, hyung. I thought I was in a dream, that sounds so cheesy, but it’s true.”

“It was, what, four in the morning?”

“Three. Close to four.”

“Exactly. I would think that's a dream too. Seems like it. Are you sure you’re not messing with me?” Namjoon elbows Jungkook lightly.

“I want her. Is that so pathetic?”

“A little bit,” Namjoon teases, bringing his thumb and pointer finger to a slight pinch. “Like this tiny little space right here is where you live.”

Jungkook rolls his eyes as he walks into the kitchen for a beer.

“Honestly, Jungkook, I think she likes you back. Pass me the rice. Want some of the steaks?” He shows Jungkook his bowl, and Jungkook accepts, opening his mouth to be fed. “You can feed yourself.”

“Ah,” Jungkook says, mouth agape. “Just one piece.”

Namjoon is feeding Jungkook rice when the doorbell rings. The two exchange bewildered looks, and Jungkook shuffles from the ground, sliding on the flooring with his socks as he peers through the peephole. He falls to the ground as if shot, crouching with a deathly look about him.

Namjoon shifts in his seat on the floor and, stretching his neck, asks Jungkook who it is. Over and over, quietly, he’s asking who’s at the door.

Jungkook doesn't answer until Namjoon stands. He shoots a hand up to grab Namjoon’s sleeve, motioning him to crouch beside him. Whispering, he says, “It’s Rei; what do I do?”

“Get up!”

“I can't. I can't. I don't know what she wants. What if she knows?”

“Knows what? Get up; I’m opening the door in 3, 2,...”

Jungkook stands. He can feel his heart beating viciously, and his hands are sweating. He glares at Namjoon, raising his hand and motioning for a cutthroat. “I’ll kill you,” he mouths as his friend walks away.

Jungkook peers into the peephole and sees her turning away. He pulls back the door quickly, causing her to turn around. She smiles, and he wants her all over again. His relaxed demeanor vanished. “Hey, what’s going on?” are his first words.

Rei laughs, and he can feel himself blushing. He drops his head when he remembers Namjoon is a witness.

“Hey, neighbor,” she says, smiling the same coy smile she lent him last night. She pulls a paper from her pocket, extends it to him, and says, “It’s an invite to my birthday party this weekend; if you don't have any plans, I thought it would be nice to hang out and see you again. I’ll have friends over, and of course, you can bring yours.”

A party? Wait, see me again?? “I will be there. This weekend. I’ll make an appearance.” He stops talking when she laughs. He can feel the blood boiling on his face. What the hell is going on with him? “Sorry, yes, I mean, thank you.” Jungkook can feel Namjoon’s burning gaze behind him—he can picture how his friend stifles a laugh into his fist.

“No problem. Who’s that?” She points inside the apartment.

Namjoon waves when Jungkook turns around to see him standing behind him, a smirk tugging at his lips. Jungkook widens his eyes at him, mouthing for him to stop laughing. Stepping aside for his friend’s introduction, Jungkook signals toward his friend with a swift movement of his hand. “Namjoon, this is Rei. Rei, this is Namjoon, a good friend and gifter of bonsai trees.”

“I’ve seen you, no?” she talks to Namjoon, who nods, flexing his pointer finger, indicating that she has. He’s chewing cheese puffs, and Jungkook raises an eyebrow at him, silently questioning him: ‘Where did you get those?’ His stare says.

“At the evacuation, I was there.”

“Ah, yes, you had bright green hair like a highlighter pen then.”

He laughs. “That was me, yeah! You were with that girl, the…one with the red hair in pigtails.”

“Ah. That’s right! You have a good memory.” She sounds impressed.

Jungkook tongues his cheek, shaking his head beside them unnoticed.

“You too, you too. Cheese puff?” Namjoon offers a bag of cheese puffs.

“You’re tempting me, but I will have to decline. I just had lunch.”

“Your friend, the one with the pigtails, will she be at this party?”

Namjoon is nervous, but he plays it off well. Only Jungkook can tell.

“I think she can be there,” Rei replies, her eyes shifty and full lips pursing. She seems to think it over, anxiously looking at Jungkook and chewing on her lower lip. It’s as though she’s waiting for Jungkook to glance her way. Only Namjoon is seeing this.

Jungkook is annoyed. They’re talking so easily. He shifts uncomfortably, his fingers gripping the door. He watches how Namjoon chuckles and how she timidly looks down at her hands. The glittery nail polish made his heart feel like a stone in his chest. He wants to interject. But how?

“I’m sure the guys will be free this weekend too; we might celebrate our little accomplishment here sometime soon, so Jungkook can tell you about that and invite you when the time comes, right, Jungkook?”

Jungkook only nods. That’s all he seems to be capable of when she’s around. He feels so strange around her. He feels the same way each time, like he’s coming down with something suddenly. Didn’t it just get so hot out here with the door open like this? He wonders. Is anyone else sweating?

Their voices continue around him. He nods a few times when the conversation shifts toward him, but he feels lightheaded. He wants her so badly.

He doesn’t mean to, but he clears his throat, turning the conversation around him to a simmer.

“So, Jungkook, Namjoon told me he’d come this weekend and bring your other friends. There’s a theme, by the way.” She pauses for dramatic effect. “It’s fairytale-themed!” She raises her arms above her head like a big reveal and holds her pose, awaiting their reaction.

Namjoon laughs, turning away; he says: “I’ll give it good thought! Thank you for the invite, Rei!”

“And you?” She looks at Jungkook.

“Me?” Jungkook swallows hard at a lump in his throat. His brain seems to forget how to form sentences when she’s around.

“Yes, you. Do you have any ideas, JK?” she smiles, lopsided.

Is she flirting with me? Here? Namjoon-hyung! Come back!

“I have to rewatch all of my favorite fairytale movies to have an idea,” he says, bringing a hand to his head. He feels the heat emitting from his forehead. “I’m kidding. I think something cool like Dracula.”

“Is that a fairytale?” She laughs.

“Define a fairytale. Isn’t it just make-believe?”

“You don’t think vampires are real?” She raises an eyebrow at him, but he can tell she’s intentionally giving him a hard time. Her smile is surfacing and betraying her.

“I do, actually. Ah, okay. Give me time. I’ll think of something. What about you? Who are you going as?”

She pretends to think it over even though she already has an idea. “I won’t say; you’ll have to see.”

He’s fully leaning against the doorframe, his foot slipping under him, and he almost falls over. He mutters something to himself, and she’s biting back a laugh. “You want tea or something before you go? If you’re not busy.”

“Ah, I want to say yes, but my friends are upstairs; I just stopped by real quick but thank you.”

He nods. “That’s okay, next time.”

“I’ll catch you two later,” she says, waving.

She turns to walk away, and Jungkook doesn't know what takes over him, but he shouts after her: “Thank you!”

He’s too embarrassed to see if she turns around. He closes the door immediately.

He doesn't even want to look at Namjoon. He stands facing the door for a while, his head hanging low, eyebrows scrunched up in physical anguish. He chews his lip and winces at himself, remembering.

“I said that out loud,” Jungkook says, incredulous with himself.

“You said that out loud,” Namjoon reiterates from somewhere in the room.

Sighing, Jungkook turns over, and flinches at a grape Namjoon tosses at him. His nose scrunching, he catches another grape mid-air and chews noisily. “She wants to know me properly,” he says, with a dreamy air.

“So be her prince charming,” Namjoon jokes, plopping down on his couch, busy on his phone.

“So I will be,” Jungkook says, tilting his head back to look up at his ceiling. She’s up there, walking around, talking to her friends, and he’s beneath her, dreaming of the weekend. “What day is it?”

“Wednesday.”

“Let’s go; I need an outfit.”

“Now?”

“Now, get up! Get up!”

“Let me finish my grapes; I just washed them,” Namjoon whines, still not glancing from his phone’s screen.

“Okay, but after, we’ll go.” Jungkook walks into his room, grabs his glasses, and steps back out.

“You’re serious, aren’t you?”

Jungkook nods, biting the corner of his lip distractedly. “Oh, I’m serious.” He reaches for the car keys on the table beside him. “I’ve never been more serious.”

And he is. He’s never been more serious about anything else. He wants Rei, but he wants her to want him, too. He can’t help but feel as though his luck is turning out.

taglist: @vsualitae​

A/N: thank you for being here! I hope those that looked forward to the full first chapter have enjoyed this! It's my first lengthy fic, as I've already stated, so any feedback is greatly appreciated! reblogs, comments, and anything that lets me know you've enjoyed this will make me the happiest writer :') I appreciate you for giving my work a shot <3 Let me know if you'd like a second part, what you liked, etc. I'd love to hear from you, reader >.< until next time!!

#jeon jungkook #jungkook fanfic #bangtantheatrenet #jungkook scenarios #bts fanfiction #jungkook fluff #jungkook angst #jungkook x oc #jungkook fic #bts fluff #jungkook x you #jungkook au #btswritersclub #jjk fic #bts scenarios #jungkook imagine #bts imagines #jeon jungguk #jeon jungkook x oc #jjk fluff #jjk angst #pathetic jungkook

[trex98dreams]

Red

Member: Park Jimin Genre: Fairytale Smut / Yandere💋 Based On: The Little Red Riding Hood

It started when your mom wants you to send a basket full of cake to your nanna.

Your nanna, who lives in the middle of the fucking forest.

God knows why she stay there all alone rather that moving with you and your family to the small village.

You hated going there alone. It's creepy, quiet and scary in the forest.

Usually your sisters will go with you.

But both of them were too 'occupied' with the ball the motherfucking ugly Prince is holding tonight at his castle.

You weren't interested in him. He's an asshole that took taxes from the poor villagers.

So rather than being dragged there by them, you choose to go send the cakes to your nanna.

Safest choice, you think.

"I'm off mom!"

Your mom smile at you. "Be careful. It's a full moon tonight."

You didn't know what she meant by that. You took your red cloak that was sewn by your nanna.

"Protection from evil thoughts," she once said. So you wear it, although you don't really believe in superstition.

You started your journey to her cottage. It only took a 30 minute walk but the moon is so beautiful and mysterious tonight.

You just had to stop and admire it.

"Hello beautiful."

You turn around. The voice were deep and a little.. sexy?

A black wolf came out from behind one of the trees.

Surprisingly, it didn't frighten you.

"Hello there Mr. Wolf."

The wolf went to sit beside you.

"Why, what is there in that basket? It smells delicious," the wolf ask, his nose burying into it.

You smile and cautiously pet his furry head. "Just some cake for my nanna. Here, have some."

The wolf stare at you for a long time.

"You're not scared of me? What if its not enough for your nanna?"

You giggle. "It's enough. Nanna's an old crow anyway. She didn't eat much and rather than throwing it away, you should have it. Take it, fresh from my mom's stove. You must be hungry."

The wolf grins at you and took the cake from your delicate hands.

"You are very kind. I have never met a human like you before. All they do is throw their axe or rocks at me."

You feel sorry for him.

Wolf are hated by your villagers. You heard that they destroy cattle and pig farms, even harming humans just because they're hungry.

But this one's different.

"I'm sorry they did that to you. They're just scared. They don't know what a majestic creature you are Mr. Wolf."

The wolf stare at you again. Something made his heart palpitated. You sense his pupil turn bigger like it would blow up.

"Mr. Wolf? You okay? I have to get going now. I've been stray away from my original path for far too long."

The wolf nods slowly.

"Where does your nanna lives? I could walk you there if you like."

You face turns upset.

"It's okay, thanks for the offer. Nanna hates wolf the most. She almost killed one for trying to steal her turkey. I don't want her to do that to you. Goodbye Mr. Wolf. See ya," you said, and went on your way.

The wolf stare at you until you disappear.

Then he begin to ran to your nanna's place.

As you arrive 15 minutes later, you knock on the door.

"Nanna it's me!"

No answer.

You tried a 2nd time, but still no answer.

On the 3rd knock, you gently push the door open. It was unlock.

Nanna never leaves her door unlock.

You went in. Everything seems messy. The pot of porridge was still warm and you closes the door behind you.

You went to her bedroom and tip toed, afraid she might be asleep.

"Nanna?"

She was reading a newspaper, her whole face covered with it.

"Sorry I was late Nanna.. I urm.. took a detour!" You told her, lying about meeting the wolf.

She cough heavily. She sounded strange to you, so you went near her bed.

"Nanna.. what beautiful fingers you have.." you admit as you saw her old worn fingers was no longer the same.

"To gently touch you my dear.." she answer with a strange tone.

You went closer.

"Nanna.. what pretty black hair you have.." you add as it was no longer the white one you always saw.

"So you can tangle your fingers in it my dear.." she said without removing the newspaper from her face.

You were now only inches away from her.

Too late.

"You're.. you're not my nanna!"

It was a man. A beautiful, naked young man covering himself with your nanna's comforter. He was also wearing nanna’s glasses.

You were scared. Not only he was a stranger, he was naked from head to toe. 

Fuck, you could see everything.

Including his massive, protruding dick.

You threw the basket at him and ran for your life. 

But he was faster.

"Let me go! Who are you?! Where's my nanna?!" You shout, scared for your life.

The young man hugs your body tightly. 

You can feel his erection rubbing on your red cloak.

"Hey, hey don't be scared.. it's me.. gosh.. all this time, I've finally found you.. my mate," he whisper as he try to kiss one side of your cheek.

You avoid him and struggle to get away but his grip was so strong.

"I don't know you! Where's my nanna? Tell me!"

"Your nanna's safe. She passed out for a while after I put some sleeping mushroom in her porridge. That would buy us some time."

You didn't understand what he's talking about.

"Time? Time for what? Please, let me go. I won't tell anyone about this."

The man giggle.

"It's me baby. You don't recognize me? We just met not more than an hour ago."

You realize who he was now. The sound of his voice, the blueberry cake flavor you felt on his breath.

It was the wolf.

"Mr. Wolf?"

"Bingo. What a smart girl. You're qualified to be my mate."

You bit his hand but he didn't let go.

"Please Mr. Wolf! I- I don't want to be your mate, I don't know you! Let me go please, you can have all the food you want, just please let me and my nanna go!"

He nuzzle his nose on your neck.

"It's not food that I want baby.. it's you. God you smell so fucking good.."

You can feel his hand roam around your breast. He squeeze the left one with his right hand and begin to hump you from behind.

To be honest, you felt weird.

Good weird.

There was a pool of swirling needs inside you.

"Please.. ah.. Mr. Wolf.. I-"

"Park Jimin.

You were caught off guard.

"My name baby. It's Jimin. And you better remember it, cause you'll be screaming it all night."

As soon as he finish, Jimin aka Mr. Wolf pull the strings to your cloak and threw it onto your nanna's bed.

"Protection from evil? Haha. The only thing it does is make you look sexier baby. I fucking love red."

He then rip off your skirts and corsets, leaving you naked as well.

"Beautiful tits, puffy little pussy, ripe for bearing our litter.." he said, sniffing your pussy that makes you ticklish.

You try to run but Jimin threw you on the bed, smacking your ass.

You were lying on top of your red cloak.

"Please.. Jimin.. I- I'm scared.. don't do this.. don't eat me.."

Jimin laugh.

"I'll definitely eat you baby. But not in that way. A way that'll make you feel pleasurable. Now open your leg wide."

You refuse to do as he said but Jimin become impatient and forcefully spread your legs wide. He pulls your ankle close towards him and went on his knees.

You realize what he was doing.

"No! Stop it! No! I- ah.. ah..! Fuck.."

Jimin begin to make out with your pussy. He lick the lips with the edge of his tongue, staring at you with a smirk.

"Stop it.. no.. ah.. that doesn't.. feel good.. at all.."

"Really? You’re lying."

Jimin begin to nip and suck on your pussy, nose buried on your pubic hair. He was enjoying every second of eating you out, hand gripping on the back of your knees.

You arch your back, toes curling at his warm tongue, drinking your love juice.

You sweat a lot, and when you can't handle it anymore, you grip his hair with your fingers.

"Don't fucking stop.. fuck.. it feels so amazing.." you moan, giving into him.

Jimin became more wild at your obedience.

He watch as your face shows an expression full of pleasure and erotic sensation.

"So..mmm.. beautiful.. so.. delicious.. mmm" he stops between each suck.

"Jimin! I'm.. fuck! Ah!"

You squirt on his face. He loves it. He loves how you make a mess.

It wasn't enough for him. He was not over the foreplay yet. He wants you to get really, really wet for his cock.

Jimin insert his middle finger in your pussy.

"What.?? Ah stop! Jimin! I can't take it anymore!"

He laugh mischievously and thrust his finger in and out of your pussy. He slaps your cunt and occasionally kiss it.

You squirt again. In a heavy amount.

You were so exhausted.

"Jimin.. please.. I'm so tired.. what do you.."

"It's not over until I had my cum overflowing your pussy baby."

He hover above you and kiss your neck. He kisses all of you, your cheeks, your lips, your neck, your tits.

He put your hands on his neck.

"Hug me when you're about to cum."

Although he was in heat, he gently put his cock in your pussy and saw how you grunt in pain.

"First time baby?"

You look away shyly, nodding.

"Good. I'll be your forever and last mate."

He begin thrusting at a slow pace, your legs wrap around his torso.

Jimin grunts and growl in your ear, and you love it. You absolutely fell in love with this beast.

"Jimin.. go faster.. go faster.."

He went ballistic.

His balls slaps against your cunt, skin to skin sound all across your nanna's bedroom.

It was so hot and dirty.

His cock was big.. but not that you can't take it.

"You're so beautiful.. my luna.. my mate.." he whisper in your ear as he hips move at an irregular pace.

You felt him deep inside you, you almost faint.

"Stay up baby, I can't take my cock out if you pass out. Werewolf's cock stays inside a pussy locking it until the female cum."

It was an information.

But it was so hot. Plus his sexy voice.

Not a moment ago you were scared of him. 

But now, all you want was for him to cum and fill your pussy to the brim.

He smells like wood and trees fresh from the rain.

"Make me cum Jimin, make me pregnant.. ooh.. fuck.. that's it.. I don't care anymore.. let me have your pups.."

Jimin hugs you and suck on your tits. He circle his tongue around your tits and suck it to his heart's content.

You held onto his body and clawed on his ass. He had fine firm ass.

"I'm cumming my luna.. cum with me.. ooh shit.. shit..!"

You feel his cock expands in your wall and that also made you cum.

When his cock feels your cum, he softens but didn't pull out of you yet.

He lay on top of you, hearing your heartbeat.

"I can't believe my mate's a human."

You stare into the ceiling, surprised at his word.

"Don't be scared, I'll take care of you like a queen. Now, you're officially the luna of the blue moon pack."

You blink your eyes as he held his head up and kiss your lips gently. 

Jimin stand up, turning to his wolf form.

Before running into the night, the last thing you saw, was the cum covered red cloak on the bed.

You smile and ride on Jimin's back to start your own new pack.

#jimin #park jimin #jimin smut #jimin werewolf au #bts jimin smut #bangtan boys #bts kpop #jimin yandere smut #jimin wolf smut

[ctitan98official]

Anonymous: Hello! I was wondering if I could request something along the lines of student! Reader and professor! Donna having a one night stand (they both agree that they shouldn't really continue a relationship (despite them both wanting to)) and then later Donna announces that she's pregnant. The reader kinda thinks nothing of it until Donna looks them in the eyes after she is done with the announcement. Then after everyone leaves reader goes up to her and asks if the baby is theirs, Donna starts to break down because she didn't know how to tell them and that she felt guilty about it. Then reader comforts Donna and basically tells her 'i want this' (also sorry if this is like way too much or like out of your comfort zone)

This is a really good prompt. I’ve already written something where Donna is Y/N’s art professor, read that here! But, I left it pretty open-ended so I’m just going to add onto that. Reader, as usual, is gender neutral. Let’s get into it!

The date you had gone on with Donna with was… Magical. She is so sophisticated, but also very sweet. She’s everything you’ve ever wanted. That night was also quite… Steamy. You couldn’t help your attraction to her. You made the first move and gave her a quick kiss.

Donna kissed you back.

Your chemistry was undeniable.

The next morning, however, you could tell Donna was upset. You leaned over to kiss her in bed. As you got a better look at her face, you discover that she had been crying.

“Y/N… I can’t do this. You’re my student.” She says sadly. Honestly, she knows she is really just pushing you away because she’s scared. She likes you and could see herself falling for you… She’s never felt like this before.

Your heart is… Crushed. You’re already catching feelings. You beg her to change her mind, but she just tearfully asks you to leave.

Seeing Donna now is too painful. Even just catching a glimpse of her from across the quad is excruciating. You want her and it sucks that you can’t have her. You thought about transferring out of her class, but it’s too late in the semester. You decide to keep things as brief as possible in your art class with her. No pleasantries, no smiles… You also sit in the very back of the classroom now. You know that if you open yourself up at all to her, you’re just going to pathetically ask her to take you back and make a fool of yourself.

You need to just fucking graduate and get out of this school. You’re in the first half of your senior year, so you only have one more semester and you are done. You can do this. You just have to wait it out.

Unfortunately, by the time class registration rolls around… You still need a humanities course to graduate and the only available class is with… Donna. Fuck. This is gonna hurt.

Meanwhile, Donna is dealing with her own problems. In addition to being heartbroken about you, there’s been a completely earth-shattering revelation that’s come up. Not long after you two had spent the night together, Donna begins feeling incredibly exhausted… She’s sluggish and sick almost all the time. It’s all she can do to get up in the morning and spend time with Angie before she leaves for work. Finally, Donna decides to see her doctor and the diagnosis is… Life-changing. She’s pregnant. With your baby… She should have realized her symptoms sooner. She was pretty much always sick when she was pregnant with Angie.

She hates how happy she becomes when she thinks about having your baby. It… Tickles her, actually. She really does love you (Made a lot more apparent by your time apart from each other). But, she feels guilty. She doesn’t want to tie you down with a baby if that’s not what you want. You’re just about to graduate. You have your whole life ahead of you.

Initially, Donna decides that she won’t tell you. After all, what are the chances of you two bumping into each other on campus? But… Then she discovers that you’re taking another one of her classes. You either enjoy getting in her head… Or this is just a necessary evil for you to graduate. She can’t tell which reason she would hate the most. After agonizing over what to do, Donna comes to realize that she can’t possibly teach you three days a week without telling you that she’s having your baby.

——————————————————————————

After winter break, you are nervous. You saunter into your first class back with Donna and decide to sit in the back, as has become routine. You’re relieved she’s not here yet. It would be torment to be alone with her knowing how lovesick you are. More students flood in and you find out that you have some friends who are taking this course as well. You happily chat with them and goof off a bit before class starts. You’re thankful for the distraction.

Finally, class starts. It’s uncomfortable for you both, but it (Eventually) ends. Donna highlights the syllabus and points out notable dates. However, before she dismisses her students, she informs them that she will be taking maternity leave later in the semester and that a substitute will take over at that time. She gives you a pointed stare as she announces this.

Your eyes go wide in panic.

Donna can see the terror on your face. She knows first-hand how startling such a realization can be. She almost starts laughing sympathetically at your understandable reaction, but she chooses to keep a more neutral expression.

You wait for everyone else to file out of the room before you go up to her. Your knees are weak as you approach her. What if it is yours? That would… Be pretty great. You don’t want to make assumptions, though. Maybe she met somebody. Dammit. That thought makes your blood boil. You couldn’t take it if that’s the case.

As you get closer to Donna, you find that just being near her is making you feel better. It’s like you’ve been stranded in a desert with no food or water and happened upon an oasis. You’ve missed her greatly. As you take in the sight of Donna… You can see that her cheeks bear a healthy glow. Her hair is so shiny right now, too. Everything about her is radiant. Motherly… This suits her. Your eyes can’t help but look down at her tummy. Now that you’re focusing on it, you can see a small bump. Fuck… This is definitely for real.

Donna bites her lower lip and clasps her hands nervously which draws you out of your staring. What will you say? She braces herself for screaming and yelling.

After keeping your walls up for so long… You wrap your arms around her. Whether or not this baby is yours… You can’t imagine your life without her. You’re praying she will reconsider a relationship with you.

Donna gasps at your affection. She buries her face in your shoulder, feeling safe. She’s never felt more secure, truthfully.

You pull back and look her in the eyes. “Donna…” You say and brush a lock of her hair back.

Donna can see the unspoken question on your face. She nods wordlessly at you, hoping you won’t be upset.

At Donna’s confirmation, your face breaks into a wide grin. “You’re… Having my baby?” You ask quietly. Hoping you understood correctly.

Donna can’t help but giggle at how excited you look. “Yes, Y/N.” She says. “But, I don’t expect you to-”

You immediately hold her closer. “A baby?! Wow!” You exclaim as your brain processes this news.

You are so joyful. Donna… Wasn’t expecting this. Do you… Want this? With her?

You carefully bring Donna in for a kiss. What a great gift she’s given you. “Please, Donna. I… Love you. I want to be in this baby’s life… I want you more than anything.” You plead.

Tears well up in Donna’s eyes. Your request is so pure. You truly love her and want to take this huge leap of faith with her. She kisses you once again. “Y/N… Cara mia. Are you sure?” She asks you, placing your hand on her stomach. “This is… A big decision.” She tells you.

You rub her tummy and smile back at her. “This is what I want. I love you, Donna. I need you.” You answer. Life without Donna is simply not an option. You will do anything in your power to be with her.

Donna gives you a breathtaking smile before adopting a mischievous smirk. “I hope you understand that your grades will be affected by my ever-changing moods and cravings.” She jokes. “That’s your own fault.” She teases.

You laugh. “Well, I hope I might be able to sway your decisions with lots of food runs. I’ll get you anything you crave, Professor.” You tell her with a wink.

Donna giggles back. “I just might have to take that into consideration.” She says with a smile. “In fact, you could get some extra credit right now if you take me to lunch.” She says, quirking an eyebrow.

“Fuck yeah! I’m down!” You cheer.

Donna tuts playfully at you. “Y/N, watch your language in front of our little one.” She scolds and cradles her stomach.

Your heart flutters at hearing Donna say “Our little one”. You and Donna did this together. It feels… Perfect.

Note: That was a fun prompt to write! I hope you enjoyed!

Masterlist

#donna beneviento #re8 #re8 village #donna beneviento x reader #donna beneviento x y/n #angie beneviento #resident evil village #resident evil imagines #resident evil 8 #resident evil #re8 shitpost #re8 incorrect quotes

[infernaleikon]

You’re really going to post about anakin wearing a bejeweled garter on twitter but aren’t going to discuss it in further detail here? Like girl, pls don’t be evil 😭😭😭

sksksksksks sorry for the late answer and also !!!!! i didn't know anyone would want to talk about it.

anyway, anakin in this 😏😌🔥

i've been thinking that obi-wan and anakin are on a mission and have to dress up attending a gala or they're the honored guests of some celebration or something, i’ve also thought about working it into my pretty woman au somehow, and anyway, they get all dressed up and pretty, and it’s all very glamorous and fancy.

and obi-wan at first doesn’t even notice that anakin is wearing the garter. anakin wears something long and flowy, i think, or a sort of harem pants but with leg-long slits at the sides, and he looks absolutely mouth-watering and obi-wan has a hard time keeping his eyes off anakin because of it. he looks regal and radiant and the colour accents of his outfit compliment the colour of his hair and his skin, they make his eyes practically glow, and the way the fabric of the top part of his robes hug his shoulders and slutty little waist drive obi-wan to the brink of insanity. he’s turning heads left and right.

obi-wan wants to bite him.

at some point during the event they're standing next to each other talking to a group of some people and obi-wan notices one of them staring down at anakin’s legs while anakin is talking about something. and they have the sort of look on their face like their brain has ground to a stop and like their entire world is recalibrating, and at first, obi-wn gets offended and indignant because why is this being staring at anakin like this and not even listening to what he’s saying? but then he follows their eyes and catches sight of the garter around anakin’s thigh that’s revealed now because the slit in the pants fell open. and the pearls shine against anakin’s tan, the gold of the chain almost the same colour as his skin, and they tinkle and move softly with anakin’s movements. obi-wan’s mouth becomes drier than the surface of tatooine faster than should be possible. he only manages to tear his eyes away when he hears anakin say his name.

obi-wan can’t stop thinking about the garter now that he’s seen it, the thought of it, the memory of it resting against anakin’s toned thigh burns like a beacon in his mind, and whenever he looks at anakin, his eyes travel down to his legs, trying to catch another glimpse of the tantalizing thing.

they end up fucking while anakin wears nothing but the garter. obi-wan snaps the elastic against anakin’s thigh and anakin writhes with pleasure because obi-wan is fucking him particularly good that night, and the knowledge of getting obi-wan riled up by wearing a garter is doing things to anakin. knowing that he can get obi-wan riled up like this, that obi-wan finds anakin this irresistible, is really really hot to anakin.

anakin wakes up with bruises and teeth marks on his thighs around the garter, and the sting is delicious. obi-wan has a lot of fun with it.

#obikin #ask #anonymous #i am just. #yes. good yes. #anakin wearing stuff that drives obi-wan insane is so good #esp when anakin is entirely unaware until obi-wan devours him

[defilerwyrm]

The Future of Sunlight Sensitivity

Okay so here’s something to chew on. I’ve heard through the grapevine that the next big update to D&D is going to have another monumental change to the drow: if what I’ve heard is true, not only will they continue to be a largely non-evil race outside the Cult of Lolth…their sunlight sensitivity is going away.

This may or may not be true, but let’s imagine that in an Exandrian context for a moment.

The Kryn have one of their holy days where they draw back the veil over Rosohna and bathe in the burning, blinding light of the sun. The appointed time comes. They blink and squint, wincing in anticipation, putting on brave faces for their faith, and the light comes, and it stings at first, but then…

They can see. They can see.

Someone cries out, astonished, “It doesn’t hurt! Open your eyes, it doesn’t hurt!”

The Kryn collectively sob. This is surely the greatest blessing the Luxon has imparted on them since leading them out of the Underdark. Their faith has been rewarded. They can walk in the light of day and not do so blind.

(All the other races in Rosohna are fucking flabbergasted. The non-drow believers join in the wonderment at this blessing. Here and there, a few wonder what blessing the Luxon might give their people next, and—though no one would dare breathe a word of it—some are envious, wondering why it wasn’t them. Were they not faithful, too?)

The Bright Queen issues a decree that the veil of night will be slowly phased out. They start with an hour at dawn. Slowly, slowly, over time—because, even though they’re not blind in sunlight anymore, the drow are still not used to it, nor is almost anyone else in Rosohna, and they have crops to think about—the darkness over Rosohna recedes, until a year or five down the line they have day and night like any other place.

(Many farmers are very happy about this. Many others, whose produce is no longer in hot demand and who haven’t been able to pivot to sunlight crops, are not.)

Meanwhile, hundreds of miles away in the tall-fenced back yard of a Rexxentrum cottage, a drow comes out of trance late with his husband wrapped around him. He realizes in a panic that it’s past dawn. He scrambles for his dark-lensed glasses—his parasol—anything—but…it doesn’t hurt. It’s an hour past sun-up and the light doesn’t hurt. He can see. He stares around, trying to make sense of the explosion of colors he’s never really seen before. Tears fall from his wide, wide, unhurting eyes.

“Caleb,” he says, shaking his husband urgently. “Caleb wake up.”

Caleb mrrphs and snorts awake, blinking, bleary. “What’s wrong?” he asks muzzily, and then he too, goes wide-eyed. “Scheiße, it’s seven in the morning, we need to get you inside—”

“It doesn’t hurt,” Essek says, stunned, unknowingly echoing his kinsmen.

“What?”

“It doesn’t hurt,” he says again, and turns his tear-glittered eyes on Caleb now. Dear gods. The morning light shines bright on the copper and platinum of his hair and lights up his summer-day eyes. He’s beautiful. To think, all this time, Essek never knew how beautiful this man could be in the light. “Caleb. I can see.”

Caleb sits up. Confusion, realization, and concern all vie for dominance on his face. “What does it mean?”

And Essek, who’s never had faith a day in his life for anything but his own prowess, the Mighty Nein, and one Caleb Widogast, wonders. He wonders things that are blasphemous to his own heresy. But what he says is, “I don’t know.”

#shout out to everyone who immediately thought of batty koda yelling “i can SEE it’s aMIRACLE” #dungeons and dragons #critical role #shadowgast #drow #critical role fanfic #essek thelyss #caleb widogast #cr c2 #before long my song is dying #plz how do i fandom

[hope-you-brought-kneepads-bitch]

Meeting the Scarlet Witch

Summary: Seeing a portal appear in your apartment would've been a lot worse if you were a normal person but being a widow and part super solider you couldn't sweat the small stuff anymore, turns out this "Scarlet Witch" as you come to know her is about to make your life a bit more interesting

Words: 1,529

Warnings: swearing, and bad jokes (This AU is an 18+ story so minors will be blocked if they interact. Thanks!

This portal appearing in the middle of your apartment would be very stressful if you were a normal person but being a widow and part super solider you decided not to sweat the small things anymore. 

The portal closed and a woman stepped out of it throwing back a young girl as the portal closed "Y/N?" You lifted your head up from the book you were reading and towards the woman in red "you look like Wanda Maximoff but the evil ora around you says otherwise" you questioned and the woman was stunned by your nonchalant reaction, her Y/n would've been terrified. 

"I'm The Scarlet Witch from another universe, my version of you died protecting me" she replied flatly and you just nodded "wow forward aren't you? So let me guess, we were dating? By the looks of you, I did pretty well"

"We were "friends" technically until one of us needed...something..." the witch blushed under your gaze as she explained but you understood perfectly "Ah so we were fuck buddies I get it well, if you're done explaining and then disturbing my evening I've got things to be doing, don't make a mess when you leave through the portal looking thingy" you moved back through the kitchen putting your book away and getting a bottle of water from the fridge 

"Wait!" the witch shouted and swallowed the lump in her throat as you turned around glaring at her "what?"

"You can't just leave me here" 

You walked back to the front room where the witch stood "why not? I don't recall actually knowing you and since you stumbled into this universe I assume you can stumble back out” 

“I guess but, but my life in that universe sucks, I’ve got no family, my “friends” haven’t checked up on me since the battle with Thanos and I've been alone searching for something, anything! To keep me going” she held back some tears and you actually felt bad, maybe the super solider serum was wearing off and you were developing feelings, might have to get that checked.

“Fine I’ll entertain you, when did we become fuck friends?” You fell onto the couch throwing a glance to the chair next to you for the woman to sit down on “sit”

Scarlet winced at the term of endearment you used “can’t we just call it friends with benefits?” You just chuckled “I could but I’m having too much fun, so come on, tell me everything”

The Witch fell into easy conversation with you telling her about all the terrible life she’d lived. When she finished, she was a mess of tears and had moved to your lap, you didn’t know how that’d happened but you weren’t mad about it, she was quite attractive, even through the tears streaming down her face and the ruined makeup “sorry for the tears its just been a fucking horrible life” Scarlet wiped her tears away and went to move off of your lap but your hands on her waist kept her in place “it’s okay Scar, by the sounds of it you need the affection”

She nodded and buried her face into your neck, a move you weren’t too certain on but allowed for the time being “tell me about you” she mumbled above a whisper but you heard her and the grip on her tightened “I think that’s a story for another day, it’s late come on, you can stay in my bed”

“Wow forward much?” She said with a laugh but you just shrugged “well I’m not staying on the couch so I guess we’ll become cuddle buddies” Scarlet yelped when you used your strength to lift you both from the chair “I think we’re moving too fast” she stated but you just rolled your eyes “didn’t you say we slept together almost everyday? Might be a different universe but technically it’s the same me”

You reached your room and let her down gently going to your drawer and pulling out some PJs turning back to the witch “I doubt you want to stay in your tight looking outfit and cape thing so here” she accepted the clothing with a smile “thanks, I’ll just go and get changed then” she looked around the room clearly looking for a bathroom to change into 

“The bathrooms over there” you pointed with a smile and gave a short laugh when she squeaked out a 'thank you' to you and scurried into the bathroom

When she emerged you whistled at the cute PJs she was wearing “hey cutie” throwing her a wink she blushed and sat down on the bed messing with her fingers nervously “so, what do we do now?”

“Go to bed” you fell onto the bed and crawled under covers pulling them back for the redhead “okay” getting in bed she moaned at the softness of mattress and coziness of the blanket, she hadn’t realised how long she’d been travelling through universes and her body was finally relieved to be resting “do you normally moan getting into bed?” smiling at her blushed face “don’t be embarrassed witchy”

“Can I ask you something?” She was suddenly stern which took you aback slightly “oh, yea sure?” You sat up looking at the witch “What’s Wanda like here in this universe?”

You gave a relieved sigh, an easy question "I've only seen her when I've been stalking Nat, she seems fine but I haven't gotten a good look at her, although if she's as hot as you I'd like to get closer look" winking at the redhead you saw that infamous blush you'd grown to love in the last few hours "I would think she does look like me, maybe a little less haggard"

"Like hell! I may have been locked up when I was younger but I can honestly say you're a gorgeous woman, not haggard" your eyes wondered over her frame "to be honest I haven't seen anyone so beautiful in a while"

The witch eyed you "are you flirting with me?" she said smirking and you scoffed "wow nothing gets past you does it Scar? We might as well do something fun" pressing a kiss to the surprised woman you questioned whether this was a good idea but when she parted her lips to let your tongue in all your doubt went out of the window and you let yourself enjoy the kiss. When air became a problem you pulled away but went down to her neck to continue "hold on..." the words you didn't want to hear when your thoughts were so loud about taking her right now 

"You okay?" you whispered against her smooth skin trying to understand "we don't know each other" you wanted to laugh but guessed that wouldn't help and you really want to get laid tonight, instead you pulled away looking at her beautiful green eyes "okay but don't you technically already know me from your universe? Also didn't we already have this conversation earlier?"

Wanda laughed "my version of you worked at a bakery and rescued puppies and yeah we did but I didn't think I'd have to repeat myself"

"And you liked that? Sounds boring" you scoffed pulling Wanda into your lap making her squeal "didn't you say she protected you before she kicked the bucket? Did she do it in the bakery?" you laughed but stopped when you were given a stern look by the witch on your lap "okay okay sorry, I know I'm not the cutie, perfect version of me that you liked in your universe but I'm still pretty hot if you ask me and if I may also say, I can bake...okay I can make brownies but it counts!"

The witch shook her head "can't you be serious for 5 minutes?" you shrugged "maybe but not today, I think we know enough about each other for me to fuck you"

"You're so brash, I'm on top" she replied leaning down to kiss you, you spun her around so now she was on the bed looking up at you "I don't think so sweetheart, it's been months since I've had any action, I need to release some energy" you chuckled to yourself and she burst out laughing and you joined in "what the hell was that? That was so cringe"

"Says the woman who just said 'that was so cringe', it's a good thing you're hot" kissing her before she could speak again your hands traveled her body landing at the waistline of her pyjama pants "wait wait" Scarlet pulled away breathlessly and you groaned "Scar please I'm a patient woman bu-"

Wanda shushed you "give me a few days to settle, and I'll be all yours"

You gave a dramatic groan making the witch laugh "my universe's you rushed into things too

You widened your eyes "oh okay I see how it is, we'll see about that" giving her one last kiss you reluctantly let her off of your lap and you both cuddled under the covers "I guess cuddling is fun too" you remarked nuzzling into her neck kissing it.

"goodnight Y/n" she whispered 

"Goodnight witchy"

#marvel #The red widow #Marvel AU #wanda maximov #wanda maximoff #the scarlet witch x reader #the scarlet witch #Dark!Y/N #mcu #marvel au

[fierceawakening]

I’ve been thinking a bit more about the whole… Thing where Tumblr warns you that the whole general social understanding of narcissistic personality disorder is stigmatizing and wrong, and how different it is from many clinicians who say that more neurotypical people in relationships with narcissistic people tend to be mistreated and even abused, trying to figure out a more nuanced way of understanding what the dispute is that isn’t just “society is ableist and psychiatry needs a group of people to throw away” or just “some people are born evil and nothing they ever say is accurate in any way.”

And I was listening to a podcast from a guy who is on the “I’m a clinician, close personal romantic relationships or friendships or being raised as a kid by narcissistic people can REALLY fuck more neurotypical people up bad” side of things and I noticed a difference in focus I’ve been pondering since.

The Tumblerians who talk about having NPD (there is some question I've seen about whether they have formal diagnoses or whether several/many are self-dxed; while I am not anti-self-dx in general, I do wonder about it here, as Official Healthcare Providers almost all say that it's rare someone would self-dx this one correctly, and that in the wild it's almost always given to people in court-ordered programs or who are pressed to enter couples therapy or the like. So I'm saying they think they have it, not to assert I'm sure they don't but to flag this as a thing that confuses me) talk about it in a way Tumblr really likes lately when discussing mental health.

That is "thoughts are not actions." That it's very possible for a person to have thoughts they don't actually endorse, like intrusive thoughts from OCD, or to have odd beliefs they don't tell people about or act on, like I don't know, "I have spirit guides and I know they're real but I come from a family of militant antitheists who'd mock me endlessly if they ever knew where I get my good ideas."

On this framing, narcissism is a thought or a belief, typically "I am superior to other people." This is a belief that is objectively untrue, but that has been formed in reaction to trauma or chronic feelings of worthlessness. Challenging someone by telling them, "you are not superior to others," then, is pointlessly jabbing them in the Feelings for no good reason. They know, on some level, it's objectively untrue, which is why they *don't* act on it and expect other people to serve or revere them, but they "believe it" deep inside themselves so as not to experience the profoundly destabilizing existential question, "what if I'm actually not so great?"

Which... if this is all people are doing, then yeah, that sounds pretty minor. Or at least, not much worse than perfectionism, something I myself struggle with. It's okay to think weird things.

Where the person I was watching the other day, who does think that narcissists act frequently in harmful ways and that a narcissist who is able to not act on their thoughts of superiority is rare, keyed on something else. As I recall it (and I may be embellishing a little but this was the gist):

"The issue is really the sense of entitlement. The rest of it's not all that bad by itself really. But entitlement means they think they deserve things others don't. And if they think they deserve something and you don't deserve it, they're not going to give it to you."

This stuck with me, as I don't think it's something Tumblr would generally disagree with in any other situation. We talk a lot about "privilege," which as I understand it is the idea that some groups are treated better than others in society. If you tend to be treated well, you tend to expect to be treated well, because you have no reason to expect something else. But this can and does collide with reality when you run into somebody who thinks you haven't proven yourself deserving of royal treatment and who tells you to stuff it.

There is a lot of talk on Tumblr about how much people should be blamed for not noticing privilege, or where exactly annoying but blameless cluelessness ends and blame-worthy entitlement begins. I'm not saying we all agree on everything. But we do seem to agree, broadly, that "entitlement" exists and is a vice.

So when I hear "narcissistic people tend to be entitled," what I hear is that they tend to possess a noticeable vice. Where Tumblr seems to think "they believe an odd thing, which is a thought and not an action."

I don't know if I have a conclusion here, other than that I lean toward "entitlement is bad, and it's not likely easy for someone to secretly have it and make certain to never let on."

But... Fascinating. Just... fascinating.

[sixstepsaway]

a few Takes™ i have seen lately which have been living rent free like rats in my brain and i need to pass comment on in the safety of my blog.

notes before i begin: all takes are paraphrased from what i remember, so i might have messed it up somewhat, but it also means you can't word search it, which is good. cw for domestic violence mentions (Ed's parents)

let's go

the kraken isn't a rejection/heartbreak response, it's a threat response!

Nghhhhhh okay sure okay yes I can somewhat see this one, although I think the fact it took Ed like 8 hours of Contemplation™ to come to the conclusion he wanted to go fucking evil means that's a little off base but-- okay, whatever

proof it's a threat response is when he killed his father! he did that in self-defense!

*deep inhale* *deep exhale* *places palms together* *points fingertips towards you*

No. (but also, the real reason is better, why would you want it to be this?)

The show is very, very good at showing us what we need to see to understand the context of situations. Let me... dig into that a little more to explain:

When we first see Ed's father's death, we see the Kraken rise from the waves, terrifying the small boy Ed was, to strangle his father to death on the docks.

What this story and perception of the event tells us is that Ed sees the Kraken as an unleashed, furious monster. You don't reimagine something like this, to disassociate from it, as a monster because you think whoever did it was good.

There is a reason why when people's PTSD creates a make believe shade that attacked them it tends to be a monster. Turning aggressors and attackers and those who hurt you into a monster makes your fear feel more justified and easier to handle.

This also shows us that he feels... not super great about what he did to his father? He went straight for the nuclear option, as I've seen a few people describe his tendencies, and maybe, just maybe, there were other paths he could have tried to take. But he sees his father's murderer - him - as a monster.

He even sees the murder as something done on a dark and stormy night, something violent and terrifying. This tells us so much.

Later, when we see the real story, we're shown what actually happened, and the real truth is honestly better than it being self-defense?

We are never shown, not once, Ed's father laying hands on Ed. We see him make Ed flinch and cry, sure, but that doesn't mean he's laid hands on him (I imagine he likely did? But that is conjecture). What we're actually shown is that he hits Ed's mother.

The framing of the whole scene and even the camera work is incredibly specific. If you don't already know - which you might not! It's a somewhat niche thing to know about - the way that cameras are used is directly to evoke certain feelings and emotions.

For example, in Jane the Virgin, when Jane is terrified of the hotel corridor her husband was shot in, she steps out of the elevator and the camera follows her from right behind. We are crowded into the back of her neck, following her closely in her discomfort. Not only does this make her feel very claustrophobic, but it makes us feel what she's feeling: threat. Dread. Panic.

When she steps out into the corridor, the camera pulls out all the way. It's all negative space around her, hammering home how alone she is in that corridor.

(This is actually something I noticed is used a lot in The Punisher, too (at least in season 1). The camera angles are all designed to add negative space around the characters, making them feel isolated and alone in every shot. Except for when they are not - for example when Frank and Karen are together, or further through the show when Frank and Micro are, because they've become friends.)

To come back to OFMD, here is how those scenes are framed:

Young Ed is put very specifically between his abusive father and his victimized mother. He's between them as his father yells, and he flinches when he throws the plate but his father doesn't hit him, with the plate or with his hands.

Again: don't misunderstand. I'm sure his father did hit him, it seems likely! But if the show wanted that to be our takeaway here, either he would have been hitting him in this scene, or he'd have bruises in this scene, or there'd be some other way it was implied/told to us.

Instead, what we're shown is that his father hurts his mother. We're shown it very, very deliberately from Ed's point of view. We see it through his facial expressions, we see it through the shadows on the wall, rather than a cut to the actual strike.

We are shown from a wide angle, which shows you how isolated and separated from one another they are, and they position Ed between them, caught in the middle. Ed watching his father abuse his mother before storming out and leaving. And then we're shown Ed making the decision to turn into the Kraken. It's all over his face.

(And, sure, we could argue the scene is framed similarly to 1x10 and maybe he Krakens because of Izzy reminding him of his abusive father, but I don't think that's right either, and again that's because of the framing of that scene. Ed is the violent one in that scene, and the positioning of the camera and the feeling of isolation. I would posit that we're meant to see Ed ultimately more like his father in that scene, especially since he sees himself as a monster.)

Ed makes the decision not out of self-defense but out of the desire to protect his mother. He watched his father victimize her again and he decided, "No more," and took matters into his own hands.

The Kraken is his going nuclear response, and it has very little to do with what triggers it and more to do with becoming something else to handle the situation he's in.

When Ed goes Kraken in 1x10, it's to handle the situation, which is brought to his attention by Izzy's shitfit. I do think that part of what Izzy said did chime as a threat, and did concern him greatly, but I think what the core of that scene ended up being was that Izzy made him realize what he'd become, and he chose to turn against it and become something else, to go back to a heartless monster.

Most people when they go through something like grief or heartbreak don't realize quite what they are becoming until someone else points out how much ice cream they've eaten and how their house is getting rats and how they haven't showered for a month. And then they react to that by pulling themselves out of that mess.

Ed thought he was out of the mess when he was cleaning up, but he was still in the robe, still acting very unlike a pirate, and definitely unlike Blackbeard. Izzy brings to his attention that he's allowed his heartbreak to change who he is. That is the main reaction he has, in my opinion. He hears the crew not just chanting for Ed ("I want to be called Ed now, actually") but chanting for Eddie, and it sounds almost mocking.

He isn't the dreaded pirate Blackbeard, he isn't the scary Edward Teach, he isn't a captain, he isn't even Ed. He's Eddie to these people. He's lost all authority, all respect, and he's suddenly made aware of that and reacts accordingly.

If it was only Izzy he was truly reacting to, he would not have thrown Lucius overboard and marooned the crew.

Which brings us to...

marooning the crew was actually to protect them from izzy

No, seriously, what?

They were dead. If Stede hadn't found them via magical rowboat gaydar they would be dead. Lucius is, until proven otherwise, dead. This was in no way an attempt to "protect" the crew from scary Izzy, not only because Izzy hadn't threatened the crew at all (only Ed!) but because, hi, yes, hello, they managed to overthrow him singlehandedly without Ed around, and were about to toss him overboard when Ed returned. Ed knows full well they can handle themselves against Izzy. Izzy is absolutely no threat to the crew at all.

tl;dr

Ed became who he is out of a desire to protect his mother, and it all spiralled from there via nuclear option and a big heap of trauma and PTSD. It's very fair to argue that in the future the Kraken is likely to only come out when someone he cares about (Stede for example) is actively threatened!

But arguing that he killed his father in self-defense, rather than in cold blood and a premeditated manner, to protect his mother, is blatantly untrue.

And pretending the atrocities he committed in 1x10 were a kindness?

Is just objectively incorrect.

If he was trying to protect them he would have marooned them himself (or sent Fang or Ivan to do it) with food and water and shelter. Or taken them to a port. Or put them in a magic dinghy. Or thrown Izzy to the sharks.

He slammed Izzy into that wall and could have instantly taken him elsewhere and dealt with him. He could have woken him with a hand over his mouth, wrestled him out of his room and dealt with him then. He didn't.

Marooning the crew wasn't a fucking act of protection, it was an act of premeditated attempted murder.

Pretending Ed is A Perfectly Good Guy, Actually, Who Would Never Hurt A Fly is counter to everything the show is telling us, counter to the depths of the character we have been given and love so much, and counter to the entire narrative.

okay i'm done

#ofmd #ofmd meta #edward teach #edward teach murder #edward teach meta #i cannot edit this post without tumblr giving me a fit #so we are just stuck with my accidental ed tag #i was trying to type meta lmao

[ripeteeth]

10 lines tagging game

Rules: share the first lines of ten of your most recent fanfics and tag ten people. If you have written less than ten, don’t be shy and share anyway!

Thanks for the tag, @likelightinglass!!! Like yourself, I'm doing first paragraphs instead. I've been struggling with writers' block over the last couple of years, so many of these are short or are wips (as noted).

zoetrope (mdzs, songxuexiao, 10k)

This is how it goes. I’ve been trying to tell you something. I’ve been trying to tell you something for a very long time.

blood, bones, and butter (mdzs, songxuexiao, 12k)

The day he meets them is a red-sky day. Of course, everyone knows the old saying: red sky at morning, sailors take warning, but Xue Yang isn’t a fucking sailor, so why would he fucking care? 

Revachol Calling (disco elysium, harrykim, 35k wip)

Spring is pale in Revachol. The May bells bloom first, then the daffodils, then the tulips, then the cherry blossoms. But the May bells always bloom first, promising warmth again. Spring is coming, they seem to say. Spring will be here soon, in showers of white and gold. It is nearly May. The winds blow thick with petals, like a late snow.

long slow love song (tgcf, fengqing, 3k wip)

The walk home is lonely. He locks his office door, and the halls are already empty, save for the sound of a vacuum somewhere and the effervescent buzz of industrial fluorescent lighting. His shoulder has a perpetual sag in it from the weight of his bag, and there are lines beneath his eyes that no amount of sleep ever seems to touch. 

impact (beyond evil, jwds, 2k)

He wonders how he’ll die. Some people can open a car door and buckle up without giving any thought to the way the chassis around them would twist on impact, the way the gear shaft might puncture through skin and sinew, and leave safety glass in a shattered constellation on asphalt. Juwon is not one of those people. He never enters a car without thinking about how he might exit from it, just as he always touches the outside of an airplane, just in case. 

shotgunning (kinnporsche, vegas/kinn/porsche, 1.2k wip)

When Kinn had been a boy, he’d had an old tomcat that liked to sleep in his bed. The cat had the run of things, coming and going as he pleased, crawling in through an open window as the desire struck him. Missing a part of his left ear and a patch of fur on his neck, he’d taken to Kinn for some unknown reason, coming to curl up at his feet, or on his pillow. He brought gifts to Kinn: dead birds and dead mice, dropped between his sheets. One morning, Kinn woke to pawprints in red, like a greeting card scrawled across his face. Hello, the red smear on his cheek seemed to say. I missed you. 

june hymn (ofmd, gentlebeard, 3k)

The room is large. A fine bed in the center, raised upon a dais, and windows on each side like attendants. Gentle air spills through the window sashes, bringing summer and birdsong. The dusk half-light casts long arms over the room, draping itself across the duvet like an impatient lover might. The birds sing evensong; Edward has forgotten how to listen.

Asterius (greek myth, theseus/asterius, 25k wip)

They say I am my mother’s fault.  Pah. What do they know? (They’re right.) 

A beetle skitters in the dark. I stamp my foot on it, feeling the carapace crunch between my toes and spit on my hand to wipe it off. My stomach growls and I look at the thing, thinking about eating it, but a beetle against an ocean of hunger seems pointless. I scrape it off and throw it in the corner. The rest run. 

bellyache (ofmd, steddyhands, 3k)

His mother had told him that he should keep his softness safe. The vulnerable underbelly of himself, kept safe for those he loves. She had kissed him on his red right cheek, just as she did every night when she tucked him into bed.

hapax legomenon (2ha, ranwan, 2k)

It begins on a sunny day, in the wide middle of a broad street. A crowded street is so busy as to be meaningless, and he is not paying attention. The heavy sack of groceries cuts into the meat of his shoulder, bruising his skin as surely as the plums in the bottom of the bag. He has not forgotten the milk. He has not forgotten the bread. Chu Wanning has gotten everything on his list, and he crosses each line item off with a black pen, feeling the bone-deep satisfaction of a completed task. A woman lifts her child onto her left hip. A man buys a bun from a streetcart. A train comes, and it goes. 

Tagging: @mia-ugly, @soft-october-night, @iodhadh, @itsevidentvery, @jouissants, @wildcard47, @reserve, @et-in-arkadia, @areyougonnabe, @perverse-idyll, @danpuff-ao3, @flanneryoconnorfanfiction, @weatheredlaw, @racketghost, @robotmango, @rcmclachlan, @pearwaldorf, @longstoryshortikilledhim, @veganthranduil, and anyone else who wishes!

[bloodiedmedic]

For muns with multiple muses, past and present, on any blog.

Rules: Fill out the form according to which muse suits each title best. (The same muse can have multiple titles.) Repost and tag. Feel free to add more!

Filling this out for Alexis Ogata (obviously since this is Alexis’ blog) and Cassandra Cain because I’ve been thinking about my Cass lately and I miss her.

Favourite Muse: Hate to say it, but Cassandra Cain. I’ve spent so much time with her that I adore her just so much. I’m tempted to just bring her back, and see if I can get any traction with her but I already have Silco/Sevika/Jinx/Alexis soooo….I dunno that I need another muse active. But out of Alexis and Cass, it’d be Cass.

Most Character Development: Cassandra Cain just because I haven’t written Alexis for long enough. It’s possible that eventually Alexis will outpace her, buuuuut that requires actually getting more interaction going on Alexis so /shrug

Trash Muse: I really don’t know what this means really. I guess Alexis cause they really something else?

The Meme-Lord: Neither. Cass doesn’t get most memes, and Alexis was gone for 7 years give or take so they out of date with everything.

Most Likely to Start a War: Ahhhh neither? Cass hates killing, and Alexis doesn’t run at that level. I guess if I had to pick one Cassandra cause I could see her beating the hell out of the wrong person cause they a bad person, and it causing a war some how.

Worst Personality: Alexis. Sorry Alexis you are awesome, but… Cassandra has the nicer personality. She just does.

Best Singer: Alexis is the better singer. Cassandra can barely talk.

Most Attractive Muse: Matter of taste. Alexis fucks with gender as much as possible. Cassandra is really fit with lots of scars, a tight ass and small chest so… what are you into?

Biggest Heart: Ohhhh good question…. I’ma say Cassandra. She’s been through so much, and still is out here doing her best.

Falls in Love Quickest: Neither does it quickly, but maybe Cassandra because of how good she is at reading body language and telling if someone is lying or not so she responds quickly to the right person’s affections.

Most Likely to Drop Their Phone in the Toilet: Alexis. Probably while high, or drunk to be honest.

Ice Ruler: Neither is a ruler so...neither? I don’t know.

The Edgelord: oooffff….. I think Alexis. Cassandra mostly just tries to vibe, and she loves dance so I think Alexis.

Most Tragic Backstory: Both have SUCH a tragic Backstory, but I’ma say Cass takes the “prize” here because most of her stuff happened during childhood.

Best Case of Puberty: I…. have NO idea. Alexis? Cause they taller? /shrug

Most Awkward: Cassandra is. For a multitude of reasons. She’s 100% the most awkward. Probably out of all of my muses actually.

Busy Bee: Cassandra actually. She hates sitting still, and being bored. If there isn’t something holding her attention she will probably be wandering off, and finding something to hold her attention. Yes this means if she’s with a group of people, and they all start talking lots so she can’t understand what is being said there is a decent chance they going to look around ten minutes later and see Cass doing a hand stand on top of a wall or climbing a building or something.

Most Clueless: Neither are clueless really except in ways the other is also clueless. Both are very well aware of how evil can be. Both are SO far behind on pop culture, and the like. So I’m going to say it’s equal.

Most Likely to Forget Their Wallet at Home: I was going to say Alexis, but than I remembered something. Cassandra shop lifted for a good few years to get whatever she needed, and probably still shop lifts at times cause fuck the mega corporations. So I’m going to say Cassandra.

Best Dressed: Ohhhh…. Cassandra. She loves going to the ballet, and she absolutely gets dressed up for it. Cute lil black dress and all.

Biggest Flirt: Alexis. Just because Cass is so awkward and has issues talking. UNLESS Cass meets a cute girl who ALSO knows ASL. Because Cass gets a lot more comfortable when she can sign.

Most Dramatic: Cassandra. She worked with Batman, Batwoman, the Robins, was trained by one of the worlds best assassins. When she wants to be she is SO dramatic. Also sneaky. Dramatic, and sneaky.

Least Likely to Show Up Late: Neither really. Cassandra knows the importance of getting to your target on time. Alexis was trained as a doctor. If I have to pick I’d say Cassandra because Alexis sometimes just can’t be bothered to care much.

One with Weirdest Habit: Uhhhh…. Side eyes Alexis and their blood lust addiction and dissecting people and just kind of nervously chuckles SO ANYWAYS

Most Likely to Be Caught at the Gym: Cassandra. Absolutely. Bonus points if it’s a gym with a climbing wall, and a parkour section.

Tagged by: I stole it from my other blog

Tagging: @oculusxcaro and I already tagged people on my other blog so... see it, steal it.

#justalexisthings

[justamessedupdisneyprincess]

Dunno why I’m back so soon, guess my anxiety has been acting up or something. I’m surprised to see I didn’t get as much harassment posts thank god. Saw one person say bullshit that seems aimed towards me but aside from that one psycho all is good I guess.

I had a panic attack last week and ending up confessing to my older sister about everything that happened. I even told her about my fetish, which had me so scared to do I almost vomited. I was scared she was going to think I’m a freak and disown me as a sister as some people in my past did. She took it better than I thought and said it was a normal and a healthy thing. It is a part of being human. I was so grateful to learn my sister still loves me for being born this way. I am still too scared to tell my parents though as they are old fashioned and would definitely not get it. To help make me feel better she invited me over to her place to try and help me recover as my anxiety has been worse as of late. I had lots of fun! Sadly my parents fucking car got fucked up because some girl at McDonald’s messed up the hot chocolate cup and it spilled all over the controls so I had to take some meds after that scary almost car crash experience. The car seems to have somehow fixed itself the next day though? Still kinda nervous about it though.

I got quests of yore the board game! We found a game shop and she decided to play a game with me, I sort of went in blind as I know nothing about DND. We got it and played and it was fun, I got a companion which was a bear. I was struggling to come up with a name and she said Gary. We proceed to laugh a long time. We are on a quest to make lots of money to pay rent that will allow us to keep a bear. LOL

I’ve been up and down lately really, my social anxiety is way worse and I’m currently questing my sexuality and identity. I am thinking I may be agender and only into boys I’m not sure. I get bullied by lots of girls so even though I am attracted to all kinds of body types and I’m not fused by gender and have crushes on fictional girls I’m absolutely terrified of real life girls now. I was thinking I may be pansexual as well but yeah...women are SCARY dude. It’s very confusing... I wish girls like Abigail from Stardew valley were real...*sigh* in my country we get lots of what we call sheep. So if you’re not into make up and Twilight the girls in my country are immediately like “fuck you!”. Guys and non binaries aren’t like that tho. Not sure why.

And yeah, Barley and Abigail, I have a type LOL

We are trying to look for a new therapist but they’re all booked out. I have been getting lots of trauma related panic attacks but my family is helping me through it. I came here again because of anxiety of course like I said but uh....thanks to everyone who supports me. And please don’t listen to any bullshit rumours you might hear about me. People just don’t know how to fucking chill. You guys have anything better to do than to bitch and moan? Just write and draw things you love, don’t complain about people or make up nasty stories to try and gain more haters to join you. I know you’re watching me. You say I should grow up but who really is the immature one? Yes I had a bad panic attack that time. Yes I should have kept it anonymous. But I’m not evil. I just wish to be myself without seeing nasty posts. I said sorry but did you guys say sorry to me? No you didn’t. You kept going and did a lot of damage. So who is really the immature one? The one who felt bad and tried to explain why I was hurt and how we can make things better or the one who wanted to keep assuming the worst in me? Just enjoy the things you love instead of thriving in things you hate and trying to guilt trip others who like the things you hate. Stop making rumours and harassing others. Just stop. And not just me, anyone in general, I know there’s others who suffered from your wrath. Much like a dear friend of mine in December 2021 who practically saved me life. You know who I’m talking about, you hated on him for being like me. So just calm down, do you and I will do me. If you choose to hate someone over ONE mistake or one tiny trait like personal preferences than that’s just sad. Do what makes you happy, don’t go out of your way to make yourself angry by LOOKING UP the things you dislike. You do you, I will do me. Just learn to chill.

Again thanks to the people here who didn’t harass me. I really do appreciate it. I will just post and disappear again as tumblr does tend to be a DANGEROUS website. Place is practically crawling with cyber bullies. You guys should be careful too, please stay safe and if people try to attack you block them and maybe get off of tumblr. I hear shit about Twitter but I will not lie, there’s actually less cyber bullies there apparently. Deviantart is a totally safe place too. I did have some BS happen there before but the people behind the website don’t allow bullying and band people. So yeah. Thanks and stay safe everyone.

#onward #barley lightfoot #vent #sexuality #agender #gender #sexualities #quests of yore #bullying recovery #anti bullying #tw vent #coming out #self shipping #trauma ment tw #trauma

[fatmclassic]

Dance fever

So I’ve had a bit more time with this and it’s growing on me more and more. I was worried about Antonoff producing and thought we might have been in for another ‘Solar Power’ snoozefest but thankfully that is not the case.

I saw someone say this is an album made for lost women struggling with mental health and big decisions in their late 20′s and 30′s and that’s what I’ve felt since King was released and this album confirms that feeling.

I can see throwbacks to earlier albums, which makes sense as has been claimed that this album is poking a bit of fun at her more melodramatic days. Restraint seems to be a jab at all the critics who kept wanting her to reel it in and strip back, which she did in HAH, and now she’s done with that. For the most part.

The album feels very scattered to me. King seems more like a mid track then an opener, I think Choreomania fits better there. Having ‘Back in town’ and ‘Girls against God’ back to back seems an odd choice because these are both slow almost plodding songs and it feels like they are dragging everything down.

HAH seems to fit quite well where it is and I appreciate it a bit more now. The other 2 short tracks are good, but feel like teases. Prayer factory especially, feels like it’s about to get going and then it’s done.

A nice mix of the confessional/grounded lyrics and the more mythical, religious fantasy lyrics. She seems a lot more angry this time around. Some of the spoken word parts are a bit strange, but it’s not something I expect from her so maybe that’s why. But it works well on Cassandra, less so on choreomania. The lyric ‘I listen to music from 2006 and feel kind of sick’ stands out as a bit of a clunker. Replaces ‘green is so green’ from HAH as the worst FATM lyric imo.

The most ‘Florencey’ tracks are my favourites here, Daffodil, Cassandra, Dream girl evil and choreomania. Yeah it’s retreading old ground for the most part and they could have felt at home on any of the first 3 albums, but nobody does that huge belting sound better than her. And I was sorely missing it after HAH. I like how fucking seething she is in DGE. 

The only song I’m really not liking still, and probably never will, is Back in town. I may just remove this dud from my playlist. I rag on Caught and Between two lungs but this is worse tbh. There just isn’t much going on here. Might be the first FATM song I actually hate. 

Girls against god is reminding me of solar power the more I listen and that’s not a good thing. This is the most ‘Antonoff’ song imo and I can picture Lorde singing this on that fucking beach she’s always on these days. And the laughing is a bit weird

The bomb has grown on me a little bit, sounds like something that could be on HBHBHB. Very light. This is like Breaking down or I’m not calling you a liar, in that it’s ok, but it’s never going to be a favourite. I feel bad not liking this more cos rob helped write it.

My love and free are the most commercial songs here. Catchy electropop. My love is the one I prefer, free feels a bit clunky lyric wise. And my love is more dancable musically. Plus it had the better video.

Morning elvis is one I didn’t feel to bothered with at first. But I got my headphones and appreciate it more now. The choir vocals in the background make this song for me. It’s quite a personal song again. Her speaking accent comes through in this song a few times. Another one that could fit on HBHBHB

Some of the production is bugging me. Like Choreomania seems like it should be much bigger then it ends up being, but feels a bit flat. Like the end with ‘somethings coming’ being repeated, that just doesn’t feel right. That is her ‘Hounds of love’ moment right there and it doesn’t quite get to the heights it should. And same with the bomb and morning elvis, she is getting drowned out by the music. It’s the same problem I had with 100 years on HAH.

I love the whole aesthetic so far, the self parody thing. Like florence saw all the ‘feral fae nymph goblin siren renaissance witchy forest’ FATM vibe posts and just gave us that. The free video seems a bit out of place though. A lot better then what HAH had, which wasn't much of anything, there didn’t seem to be as much of a running theme with that album. 

Bit pissed off with the deluxe just being acoustics and a cover though. A scrapped song was mentioned in an interview, could that not have gone here? I did have a slight hope that with all the fanservice there seemed to be here that we’d  finally get paper massacre but that was very optimistic I admit.

So even though I’ve been a bit less excited about this album for some reason, overall it’s pretty solid. I’m enjoying it and finding more things to like on each listen. It does leave me wanting more though, the short songs don’t help with that and neither does some of the shoddy production. She’s come so far as a songwriter and it shows, she has a lot more to say when compared to Lungs or Ceremonials. And she’s trying some new approaches, like with the spoken diary entries and interludes. There isn’t as many standout tracks here as on her first 3 albums, but I know I’ll be returning this a lot more than HAH. My opinions will probably change with time.

My album ranking so far:

Lungs>HBHBHB>Ceremonials>Dance Fever>HAH

Song list:

King-7/10  Free-6/10 Choreomania-8/10 (would be higher if produced better) Back in town-1/10 Girls against God-4/10 Dream Girl evil-9/10 Prayer factory-6/10(too short) Cassandra-10/10 Heaven is here-7/10 Restraint-5/10 (I like but not much here) Daffodil-8/10 My Love-7/10 The Bomb-6/10 Morning Elvis-7/10

#florence and the machine #fatm #dance fever #fatmclassic

[quinntamsin]

She held the helmet under her arm as the droid behind her rolled along without even paying attention to the destruction around it. A loud whistling sound informed the Mandalorian what she was waiting for. "Are you sure H21?" she asked, only to receive a longseries of droid language whistles. After listening and discerning theirmeaning the Mandalorian sighed. "Fine, I will speak to the Duchess once this job is over."

Greetings everyone, it's been a long hiatus, but I am hopefully going to be getting back soon. Depression got real bad lately and even cannabis only can do so much. I've been able write a bit more on my next OC riddled fanfic Poisoned Heart. Anyway let's do Andor! Andor S1E1 "Kassa", the opening to Andor is a black screen seemingly zooming into to reveal the title. A stylized version of the Rebellion's symbol, the Starbird, is above it. Dark rain files into view as we watch Cassian walk a dark industrial walkway back to the city where he's living. Morlana One, a massive corp zone on the planet is where he's hiding. This place s reams blade runner and I like how they embedded a bunch of random weird ads. I like seeing this alien city and hearing the various languages in the background. The music here is very synth and I love the dancing twi'lek holo. I wonder what species the fucking bartender is. Almost utapaun, something with an elongated head and more. The proprieteress of the club pops up and we hear Cassian call the place a company town. Pretty damn accurate, Morlana's Corp Zone represents the worst of the Empire. She getting suspicious before Cassian mentions he's looking for his sister. The darkness punctuated by the blue light really sells a seediness to the place with it being broken by random gold lights. It makes me think we're in a strange almost iPhone owned industrial complex. A guard confronts, well a pair of idiot guards, Both using heavy Corscanti accents. Diego's voice has a short of desperate measure to it that sells his spy infused violence. I wonder if he watched some John Wick with how he carries his head as he kills the two me. That sort of tired, bedraggled expression of "here we go again." One guard dies and the other can sense his time to end., and gets his face blasted out. This is not your clean Star Wars, this is the Rebellion and one where you cannot afford loose ends. Yeah, if you want clear cut good and evil, do not watch this series. It's a james bond or mission impossible series with a grittier take. The filters on the vfx remind me heavily of Altered Carbon. WE come to Ferrix, a dust covered dirty city in the early morning. A droid is our main focus, one that easily heads out into a massive junk and scrap pile outside. I like his four little traction points for transportation. We switch to Cassian on Kenari his home where his sister wakes him up. B2EMO his droid has a pretty interesting stutter, which makes me wonder why it occurs. Maybe a damage to his voice processor? "That's two lies." The droid has to put a lot of energy into lying and just seems to want to spend time with "Kassa". Seems Ferrix is another mining or industrial town of sorts. I'm seeing a lot of bright yellow colors in the pallet along with drab oranges and reds. The usage of stone for a lot of the exterior definitely makes me think of some sort of mineral-based processing. Not to mention a lot of the clothes have padded bits insert into them making me thinking defense. Also more people are wearing ear plugs, definitely a job requiring large machinery. This is a great scene, it tells so much just in its costuming and colors. THe way that Cassina's friend has a cleanish face. WE switch back to the Pre-Mor where an investigator is talking about the seats of the guards. I like how he updated his "uniform" because he wants to act the proper Imperial. The man in charge decides to cover it up since the men in question would all make them look back. The DI just wants to ignore it, the Preox-Moralana company wants shit to look good which means less Imperial Oversight. Heh, love it. We switch back to Ferrix where Cassian has come to visit a friend who does repairs. I wonder is this part of his quest to find his sister? Bix is his connection and he pushes more. She asks Cassian what he did and she stole a fucking Starpath unity. He apparently stole it from his friend's bids. Damn, not the best decision. This episode has already established that Cassian is out for Cassian. He has some connections but they aren't exactly "friends". Flashing back to Kenari, we see that the camp is alive with curiosity. The various colonists have strung together a village mixing technology and various stuff near their home. We see them placing on some sort of paint for something the lines have a meaning for the older kids. I notice a distinct lack of adults in their camp. Back to the DI we see him in the security HQ where he berates a man for ignoring a obvious shi launch. Cassian continues his walk around the story as Nurchi, a loan shark, who wrangles another acquaintance into a discussion. I like vetch, big kind of dinosauroid dude with a cockney accent. Bix leaves work and her love interest follows her. What a fool, the man is going to get himself in a lot of trouble. The music hear continues to give us a sort of casual, but thriller quiet. All of the actions of many here are in the underworld. So my guess is she has to maintain a lot of secrets to keep herself solvent in credits. The Imperial Security folks have a nice level of chatter to make themselves appear like normal employees dealing with their uptight boss. Pegla who is a yardbull watching the various ships warns Cassian, and yet again, Cassian has burned another bridge. In the past we see the Kenari older kids head off somewhere. Strange, are they after that ship that crashed? Moving onto Andor S1E2 "That Would Be Me" we continue our take on the opening triad of Andor series. With quick reminder of what happened at the Industrial Site and the death of the two guards. We get the subtle simple opening of Andor with its string theme, which slowly fades into the jungles of Kenar.  The Kenari are heading off to investigate the crash our band of children are decked out in various weapons as they pass what seems to be an abandoned colony site. Overgrown pieces of machinery come to view as we then see a massive open face mine. The kids seem to be descendants of maybe colonial miners that once dwelt on the planet. Changing scenes we see a man entering a tower to adjust his ear plugs. He drums away on the chime which appears to be a large industrial way of alerting the workers of the town. In the shipyard Pegla is turning down the lights and everyone is heading back to put away their equipment. Another day working in the town has come as everyone cools down for the night. Meanwhile, Kassa is seemingly skulking about as Ferrix falls asleep. We see Bix friend reading her console and the Arabesh is translated as he sees the message for a Kenari male wanted. As he enters who appears to be an adoptive mother of sorts. THey discuss the fact that the Pre-Mor Sec know about him being Kenari. Our friendly droid tells him that Bix wants to meet. She asks what he did and he relays a simplified version of him murdering two shitty Sec Guards. The Sec Commander is intent on hunting down and as Bix goes to have some fun we switch to Syril Karn. The Seargent he brings in is pretty hardcore in ow he sees the Order of the Empire. The talk about how they need have a stronger hand to deal with the "Formenting" as he says. This man is what appears to be a failed or wannabe stormtrooper. His eyes got all beetle-like as he talked about dealing with the "Formenting" Back to the Andor Household we see Maarva (yes I had to look up a list of names because I'm reviewing so many shows) is holding something tight. Cassian meanwhile is in his crash ship room. Going through whatever is on his mind. This makes me think the flashbacks to Kenari are about the trauma of losing his sister I mean that is an obvious point, but there is definitely more to the story. The kids zone in on the crashed ship and we see the oldest heading in to investigate alone. The sizzling of electricity fills the air as she uses a tongue click to summon the kids. As the music intensifies we switch to a ship flying over a planet, this appears to be Ferrix again. Whoever this guy is he's definitely a tad sketch. LIkely a Rebel with how the droid tells him about "Safe Places" to land. And as he heads into the city our drummer dude opens the day to waken everyone. Bix wakes up with Perrin watching her from a seat. Bix and Perrin have a somewhat awkward short conversation over a cup of Caf. In his ship Cassian and B2EMO who seems to be somewhat depressed droid. Maarva pops into what I think is Cassian's room to see an old Kenari fighting staff covered in bits and bobs. Was she the one who the kids ran into? We are again in Kenari, the leader of the group is drawing closer as Cassian notices the bodies of the pilots. They are definitely humanoid, but have yellowish skin as one of them gets up and shoots the Kenari leader. The children take him out with their blow guns (how the hell did I not notice they were blow guns). The kids realize their leader is dead, killed by the invaders. THey pick her up, leaving her blow gun as they watch for more invaders. Cassian watches the dropped ship with an intense hatred as we once again switch to Ferrix. He runs into someone and we learn that yes, the mining venture on the actual planet fell apart. SO yeah, my theory was right, the kids were the survivors of a mining disaster. He pays for what seems to be a ticket somewhere. And as Pre-Mor people are coming in their strange blue and orange Imperial inspired uniforms (including those silly little hats). Mosk who is acting like a rent-a-cop wanting to be an Imperial Stormtrooper speaks to his people. Reminding them that the folk of Ferrix can go complain about Pre-Mor at the Territorial Forum. Karn meanwhile seems a bit unsure what to say as he gives a haphazard speech. I wanna say, their ship is clunking as fuck and I love it. Really shows how these guys mostly work as Industrial SEcurity. Why have a flashy ship when a company carrier does the same? So Skarsgard, is Luthen, our old seeming rebel, is on a sort of floating anti-grav bus. He ends up dealing with a man who just can't stop talking and moves to insert himself into a conversation Luthen doesn't want. The carrier draws closer to the primary town in Ferrix as the dump below shows us Cassian on a Mission. It's interesting how unlike the rest of the cast he's always in dark browns and reds. Everyone else is either in blue, orange, green or yellow.

Episode 3 "Reckoning" opens with the children slowly making their way into the downed ship on Kenari. The kid is Cassian, and we see more of the strangely yellow-skinned figures inside wearing suits with the Imperial Emblem on it. The ship itself appears pretty industrial with a central command bridge filled with various oscillating monitors. A central bank of consoles surrounded by clean mirror-like black surface. We switch back to the dusty mining yards after young Kassa bashes the side of the console. He's waiting for someone. So, quickly I looked it up, the people with the yellowed skin are Republic soldiers which makes their death all the more strange. The man from early, Luthen exists from his transport and meets up with Bix. This is interesting, as we switch to the Pre-Mor fucks coming in out of hyperspace. We switch to Maarva and CLem Andor preparing to salvage the frigate. The kid they find is Kassa, and as we switch back to the weird LAAT like ships coming into the space above the town on Ferrix. This scene as the Pre-Mor Sec goons start looking switches places with Clem and Maarva. She's able to sedate the kid as the Republic Frigate is close to appearing. The Security goons appear at Maarva's place of residence and push after announcing they have a warrant. Bix pops back up at work where her friend Timm stalks off a bit sus. Mosk is going off the deep in with his bully-boys. They detect where Cassian is hiding just as Luthen arrives in the warehouse. The pretty orange and teal blue outfits of the Pre-Mor sec teams stands outa gainst the duller browns and yellows of the people of Ferrix. The darker browns and reds of the buildings also makes them stand out more than a sore thumb. A friend of Bix alerts her that the Corpos are there for Cassian as the rat reveals himself. Kerabast, Timm, you damn fool. Luthen asks cassian where he got his gadget, and Kassa being the foolish impatient bastard just pushes for more money. He wants to know how Cassian got the box, he's either a fucking spy or he's too good for his own good.  Cassian scoffs at how easy it is to fool the damn Imperials. Luthen points out that his life isn't going to stay the same and he mentions how Clem was hanged. Again, Kerabast. Luthen invites Cassian to join his little OPA, I MEAN REBEL cell, and suddenly we are in the town center. Several citizens begin to bang on things to warn rest of the town that the Corpos are there. Mosk calls it intimidation, but the fool likely knows its a warning. If they can get to the bell ringer to sound out a warning everyone on Ferrix including the rebels will know. Corpos have them surrounded as Bix runs ahead of them to find Cassian and is stopped by a Corpo officer. In the old factory Luthe is working out an exit plan as he explodes some slap charges. This start a minor chain reaction with corpo team going down as the team enters with what's left and starts firing. Parts keep falling as Cassian hyperfixates on the box. Dodging bits of metal as men are being harmed and killed. Another corpo goes down as the last one shoots from above. The scene itself is well acted and timed. The falling debris adds a great level of tension as the entire factory comes down around them. They escape out of the factory as the last of the team is likely dead. Luthe and Cassian make their getaway as the younger man asks why they don't go for the box. Timm heads in to free Bix and one of the corpos shoots him. As the shooter is set away by the CO Bix is left with Timm's corpse on the steps. You can really see how Mosk is just a damn weekend milita-goer with his actions. Meanwhile, Karn pops into a room and scares off its inhabitants as we switch back and forth between all of the team. Maarva warns the corpo about what the banging actually means. "When its stops." All of the clanging ends, as all of the town goes quiet. The Sec corpos rush around taking up positions as you cans ee they aren't use to actual combat. Syril finds Cassian with a blaster pointed at his behind him. Luthen calls for Karn's life and Cassian grabs him as soon as he's able to make a call. The corpo who shot Timm is killed when he tries to launch the od and finds it weighed down. The Clanging was a way for the locals to work together to end the corpos. One comes upon Karn whose been tied up, as one of the speeders has been rigged with explosives. An old Ford-looking piece acting as a decoy and drawing the fire of the Pre-Mor Sec. They surround it after it crashes, with Mosk laughing and three of the men getting caught in another blast. Cass and Luthe speed off on a swoopbike leaving the corpos realizing their actions were all foolish and gungho. Switching back to t memories of Maarva we see her crying as she thinks of how she found Kassa and rescued him from Kenari. He himself just trying to find his sister. Bix meanwhile saved from being handcuffed and reaches for Timm only to be dragged off. We see the people of Ferrix in pain and the swoop darts off into the sunset. Karn stares into nothing realizing his foolish actions at listening to Mosk got his loyal men killed. That his actions while maybe correct were just the actions of a mall cop at playing tin soldier. We enter Luthe's snhip as starts to lift off and see the old ANdor ship doing the same. Cassian awakes on it to see the last visage of his planet. We get a swell of the music as Maarva watches them and suddenly we are back in the present and Cassian watches as they leave Ferrix. Hottakes:

The Twi'lek dancer holo in the pleasure house is a good example of how the galaxy sexualizes them.

I like  the style of the blue light and strange usage of triangular walk ways.

The fact this story seems to hinge on him finding his sister is a good lead into his reasons for being a Rebellion Spy.

The two men who followed him were the same kind of fools to start this story.

Bix is a nice addition to SW's growing scrappy technician cast.

I do like that they are translating the Arabesh for us.

Cassian is definitely a desperate motherfucker.

Damn the security fucks are definitely a bit too MAGA for my tastes.

Luthen has a definitely interesting vibe to him.

The Pre-Mor guys are all definitely similar to fucking Imperials with their corporate outfits and armor being straight out of Imperial Naval uniform design.

Their ship and shuttles even mimic the old LAAT gunships from the CLone Wars.

Timm's death was so fucking bittersweet, he ratted out Cassian and was shot for doing the right thing.

Watching the guy who killed Timm crash was cathartic.

#cassian andor #bix caleen #diego luna #star wars #star wars tv #andor #rebels #rebel alliance #alliance to restore the republic #the empire #the galactic empire #sith #jedi #lgbtqia #nonbinary #lgbt #lesbian #gay #bisexual #pansexual #transgender #queer

[ctrlaltentreat]

the bread of enlightenment

you may be wondering why i haven’t been so active on here lately. see, i’ve been going through some changes... working on some personal things, and i would like to share my experience with you today. maybe you can take away something useful from it.

it was a dreary monday morning, walking around the office park. i was thinking about a lot of things... for the first time ever really. i heard of people doing this whole “introspecting” thing before but i never really got it. but anyway i was thinking about things such as... what is the purpose of life? what comes after death? why did God give us bread if it makes us fat? I was so tired of my keto diet. how little i knew then. how stupid, how small-minded i was. suddenly... there was a rustling in the bushes. i thought it was my drunk boss again.

what would occur over the next few hours, some of which are now a blur, would become the strangest, most life-altering experiences of my life.

i woke up in a dark room. i was strapped... like literally strapped. i was understandably wondering to myself, where the fuck did i get all these guns? i thought, crap, did i get kidnapped by the NRA again? 

a figure stepped into the light. “you can get rid of the guns, that was just a power play.” 

“it was a power play to give... me the guns?” 

“yes antiNY, you’re beginning to see it now.” 

“who... who is antiny?”

“it is your new name. you see ANTIny, i’ve been watching you from afar.” 

i knew it. i had felt like i was being watched, ever since... the Storm... sometimes i’d come home at night and all the lights would be out. i would hear these faint whispers in the wind, a smell of warm yeast... it freaked me the hell out. it felt like the Carb Devil was after me.

the words he spoke next enraptured me.

he said “son, in life, sometimes, there are certain sacrifices we have to, make. sometimes, we have to give up something, we love, in order to achieve a higher purpose. i see that you are on a wrong, path. cutting out bread won’t make that, cute himbo in accounting want to fuck you.”

wow... he really had been watching me. it all made so much sense. it felt like he knew me better than i knew myself.

by this time the Doctor had walked away. i heard some clanging sounds, almost like a pan being taken out of an oven.

“who... are you?”

“who am i? Ha! whoo ammm I! my silly boy, that is not important now. all the answers to your questions will be revealed in due time. now,

it is time, 

to begin, 

your 

initiation.”

i barely had time to wonder why he was taking a ten second pause between each word when he whipped out... the bread suit.

i was horrified. 

"now... you will begin to see the light.”

“no! i can’t! i’ve worked so hard to stay in ketosis!”

“i made it, special for you AnTinY, your very own bun cage.”

“nooooooooooooooooo!”

this is where things start to get fuzzy. i was so desperate, i thought, i could never kill anyone... but i couldn’t go through keto flu again. i tried every gun, but they were all made of cake. i slunk down into the corner of the room, writhing. i felt like i was being smothered by an evil pillsbury doughboy. 

i blacked out.

next thing i knew, i was in the bun suit, hurdling towards my death.

i remember getting this strange feeling as a kid when i watched the birds by andrew hickock. watching the birds attack all those funny speaking, modestly dressed people made me shiver. sure, that would be scary to anyone. but no, i felt this on a spiritual level. somehow he could tell just by looking at the back of my head, my grandpa said to me, “watch out son, thats gonna be you some day.” i thought he was just trying to scare me. i didn’t know what he meant until now.

“now aNtIny, you will begin to see the lesson, the beauty. you must not only think of yourself and your puny desires, but think of, the Birds.” 

I thought no, not today. i’m not gonna die. i should have accepted a membership to the NRA. 

i tucked and rolled out of the car. and kept rolling. the fucking bread buns made me bounce and fly like a loose tire on a racetrack. after what seemed like hours, i landed on the beach. i learned a lesson that day alright: you can’t escape your fate.

but you can put on a bread suit, and that way the sea gulls will be so occupied with the sweet, sweet bread that they’ll forget the mission they’ve been sent on to assassinate one of the future’s most dangerous political opponents. that’s right. i’m (redacted).

after a stay at the hospital and some physical therapy i made a full recovery.  i have never felt more free than i did that day. and its all because of CULT. they quite literally, and figuratviely, saved my life. did you get weird, haunting feelings as a kid that seem to point to a greater destiny? are you stuck on the pointless hamster wheel of death? are you looking for protection? from ted cruz?

sometimes, i feel............................... yeah.

a few months later, i was walking through the office park again getting ready to quit my job and join my CULT comrades on the conquest for bread... just then, i heard a voice come out from behind the bushes... or was it the clouds...

“i told you son.”

“grandpa!?”

--

thank you for hearing my story. i hope you will strongly consider the words you heard with your earholes to think about it with your brainmeat today please consider joining CULT today. all personal lessons the Doctor gives you are individualized, i just happened to have this bread obsession... but, he already knew that, didn’t he... that son of a gun. anyway, anticentrism ⚑

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pevUK8Ftms8&t=2s

#jreg #anticentrism #this is a shift from her usual content #if you can call silently reblogging others posts content #lmao bye

[arthur-r]

going to sleep soon hopefully, not feeling well and can’t take my sleeping meds cause last week taking them late made me sleep through my morning classes. so just a couple of very quiet life updates on the way:

1. my unlabelled relationship i was anxious about the problem was actually he doesn’t want to be my boyfriend he wants to be my partner. so we fixed that and now everything is alright and we have a label and it’s good. all of that “testing out the waters” stuff that was freaking me out so bad was actually peripheral to issues with terms and being out as queer and things that don’t actually have anything to do with the strength of the relationship. so now that we’re on the same page our relationship is doing really good.

2. i was a little scared earlier that i had covid but i slept for several hours instead (that’s before i went to hang out with my partner for a few hours after. i have a partner!!!!) and now i’m feeling better mostly but i’m still under the weather i just don’t think it’s a virus. will try to find a free covid test through the school cause i can’t actually afford to buy a testing kit!! but knowing me, i get like this from everyday life and it’s probably nothing. can’t hurt to be safe, though.

3. over the break while i was home my relationship with my mom got a lot more complicated again, we have been skating by as if everything were good between us and all of a sudden i’ve been reminded of how awful things can get, after she pulled me aside and swore at me angrily (“you need to fucking communicate” mostly) and made me cry in front of my friends in my first and last time of seeing them in over a month. so now i’m a little bit more skeptical especially because of the flashback i got to how she treated me when i was a kid. the only thing that saved our relationship was me learning how to filter myself around her and seem just a little bit less autistic. i swear she’s been working on herself the past few years and our relationship is better than it used to be but jeez there are some barriers here!!!!

4. i messed up and did bad at boundaries (well i followed them but i did a bad job of being normal about it) cause i was really tired and we were laying in a bed together and i wanted to sleep there and basically it went like this: he said “it is probably time to walk you back to your dorm” and i said “but i want to stay here forever!!” and he said “well my roommate isn’t here so maybe” and i said something like “yes i would like to sleep over that would be really good” and we laid there for some more time. and then he said “well actually i probably want to put together the set i got from home and i also have to shower tonight so maybe you should go home” and i said “but i want to stay here forever” and he said “yes you have made your stance clear and that does sound really nice it just won’t work out tonight” and i said “what if i stay here in your bed and you do the things you need to do and then come back and i can still be here” and he said “well really i think i just want to have this night be normal since it’s my first night back on campus so i want to have my bed to myself” and then i said “but i want to stay here forever!!!!” and then he said “we gotta get you home” and i think it took a little bit longer for me to listen. and i feel really guilty cause it’s important to not pressure somebody into stuff like that!!!! and i was mostly just asleep enough that i wasn’t thinking about it properly but now i’ve set a precedent on accident that setting that boundary is gonna be a disappointment to me like he’s gonna have to feel guilty just for wanting to have his own space. which is not true but i just don’t know how to fix it to where he knows that i am not trying to be pressuring, but without just making it weird and uncomfortable cause it was really so normal it just set an evil precedent on accident for me to cross his boundaries which is a very bad precedent to have set. so i have to figure out how to make that normal.

5. i have a stomachache and my eyes hurt and my throat is dry and guess who else is sick: my partner is!!!! but it might be a different kind of sickness entirely. either way whatever he has i have it now and whatever i have he also has. so i hope we’re not spreading anything evil to one another but i think we’re both just under the weather.

6. i think i might actually be able to fall asleep now so i’m going to try my best but let it be known i got home 3 hours ago and tried my darndest to fall asleep!!!! the problem is i can’t take my meds at this time of night, so it’s a real unavoidable issue.

7. i hope sleeping works out well. and in the meantime let me know if you need anything!!

8. one last thing i just think it’s really funny that from my roommates perspective i was asleep when he got here around 7pm, for 2 and a half hours, even slept through him doing some sort of a really loud construction project in our closet (i heard moments of it but not most of it) but that then randomly at around 9:30pm i sat up in bed and put on my jacket and shoes and walked out the door and didn’t come home until after midnight. (what happened is i woke up and saw oliver had texted me ten minutes before and asked if i wanted to come over. and i texted “yes that sounds great i will be there in like ten minutes” and then away i went. but aaron doesn’t know that part at all) and i just think if i were my own roommate i would always be posting on tumblr about my roommates strange behavior. and because i’m myself i would be reading into it a lot more than it deserves to be read into.

9. i feel like at school i overplay my anxiety to distract from my depression. just a weird thing to have figured out about how i live.

10. it is very much time to go to sleep now. wish me luck!!!! taking off my socks and if that’s been the secret this entire time then i will be so disappointed you have no idea.

#time to get out of those little number boxes!!!!! #goodnight!!!! i hope everyone is doing well lmk if you need anything!!!! #me. my post. mine. #delete later #friends only