#her sound quality is Different and she sounds like a real person talking to a friend | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

all-mirth-no-matter · 4 months

Text

Time After Time | Chapter Fourteen

Pairing: Tommy Shelby x Reader, Tommy Shelby x Original Female Character

Summary: Startling revelations ensue after drinking the tea. While you wait for Tommy to return, Benji comes in search for another date. Ada takes you shopping for a new dress to wear to the races.

Warning: language, slight supernatural (kinda?), harassment (not anything explicit but not fun), less tommy in this one but promise next chapter will make up for it!

ao3 link | catch up on tumblr here

Chapter 14: Raise Hell

I found myself an omen, and I tattooed on a sign. I set my mind to wandering, and I walk a broken line. You have a mind to keep me quiet, and although you can try. Better men have hit their knees, and bigger men have died.

It came upon a lightning strike, and eyes of bright clear blue. I took that tie from around my neck, and gave my heart to you. I sent my love across the sea, and though I didn’t cry. That voice will haunt my every dream, until the day I die.

— Raise Hell, Brandi Carlile

The tea cup landed on the rug with a soft thud, the hot liquid spilling at your feet — though you couldn’t feel a degree of it.

Your mouth gapped open at the sight before you — your mother, sitting on the rug across from you, her legs crossed same as yours, as she smiled at you.

“This isn’t real,” you whispered, still too surprised to move, your heart racing.

Your eyes searched over your mother’s features, looking for some hint of something fake to indicate the trick that was being played here.

But there was your mother — as plain as day. There was no otherworldly glow or translucent quality. She looked solid, wearing the same kind of modern shirt and jeans that she would have been wearing back when she was alive, looking very out of place against the 20th century backdrop.

The only difference between the person in front of you and the memory of your mother was the smile on her face.

“Real is quite relative, don’t you think, Y/N?”

Her voice sounded the same as well, if not maybe stronger than it had in her last handful of years.

Instinct to combat your mother reared its ugly head as you scoffed and responded involuntarily, “Quite relative to whether I’m hallucinating or dreaming, sure.”

Your mother chuckled, “I’ve missed you, my darling. We have so much to talk about.”

Swallowing, you accepted that whether dream, hallucination, ghost, or indeed real, you’d done this for a reason. You’d been given this opportunity by the Delphi for a reason. It was now or never, and you couldn’t let a little thing like freaking out over talking to your dead mother stand in your way.

“Do you know what’s happened to me?” you asked, feeling yourself sit up a little straighter.

Her smile fell, eyes moving around the bedroom before landing back on you, running down the clothes you were wearing. “The curse. It finally came for you, too.”

“Too? Are you saying—“

“Yes. I too was pulled from my present and into the past. As was my mother, and her mother, and her mother before that.”

You couldn’t believe it. Of all the things you had expected, this hadn’t even crossed your mind. “How far back?” you wondered aloud.

She shrugged, “Centuries, I suppose. All the first born daughters of this cursed lineage. Cursed to know the future, because it’s our past.”

So that was the schtick, you realized. You couldn’t predict the future, but you could recall it from a past that hadn’t happened yet — as long as you’d been paying attention. Your mother’s insistence of learning history now made more sense.

And yet, there was still a big question, one you asked aloud, “Why?”

“I don’t know. That is still a mystery.” Your mother dropped her head slightly out of shame, “Even in death, I’m still searching for answers.”

I curse you, Cassandra! The voice from your dreams echoed through your head and a crazy realization hit you. “Who was the first?”

Your mother swallowed. “When you were born, I saw a vision of my daughter. A woman who would know the future, just like I did. I heard the whisper of a name. It should have been a warning, but I was under a lot of drugs and hormones and thought the name was pretty. So did your father. We already had your first name picked out so on the spot agreed to name you Cassandra. I had no idea it was the name of our matriarch — of the first to be cursed.”

“So it’s true, we come from the original Cassandra of Troy?” Your mother nodded and you shook your head. “But that doesn’t make any sense. Say the stories are true — say the Greek Gods really existed — she could actually tell the future and she’s from the ancient past.”

“Another mystery.”

You huffed, so sick of the ambiguity.

“I’m sorry,” your mother said softly, causing you to meet her eyes again. “For lying to you all those years, for confusing you. For causing you grief and madness.”

You felt a lump in your throat, your chest tight at hearing the acknowledgment you’d wished for your whole childhood. Your brain wanted to comfort her, tell her it was alright, but your heart was more wounded than you’d ever realized.

You swallowed down the rise of tears that were threatening to build and changed the subject. “When were you born?”

She blinked, aware of your deflection method, and answered. “The early 2020s.”

“But that’s so—“

“Close?” your mother sighed. “Yes. I grew up blissful — my mother never mentioned her own displacement. So when I was stripped from my loved ones in 2040 to 1990, I was distraught. I was lucky to meet your father, though regretfully I was never able to open myself up completely to him, still mourning the loss of my first love. I would jump from fits of madness to total denial. After we had you, I thought things would be different. But as you grew, I became more suspicious that you would also be stripped away from me, or I you, and the fear drove me mad. So I tried to prepare you. But the closer I got to my own birth date, the madder I became and more desperate for answers I grew. Eventually, I became convinced that I’d made the whole thing up. The line between reality and delusion became nonexistent.”

You felt the tears begin to pool again as you thought about your own struggles with reality since arriving here. Madam Despoina had told you that you were stronger than your mother. But that wasn’t fair. None of this was fair.

“I’m sorry for your father, as well,” she went on. You opened your mouth to protest, but she stopped you. “I was able to warn him about certain events — terrorism, the housing bubble, natural disasters — but I couldn’t save him, not in the end.”

“Did you ever tell him? Properly, that is?” You found yourself asking, thinking about Tommy.

Your mother shook her head. “Not directly. The best I could come up with was the gift of prophecy. After a while of telling that story, a part of me began to believe it. Believe it for you.”

“I’m sorry,” you found yourself saying, “for being so hard on you. I didn’t understand—“

“And now you do,” she said with a soft smile, “more now than ever. And unfortunately, darling, I’m going to have to put pressure on you one final time.”

“What do you mean?”

“The curse — it must be broken. You have to find a way to break it.”

“Me? Why—“ your words stopped as you thought about Madam Despoina’s prophecy. “‘You have a chance to mend ancient mistakes. Break the cursed chain, end the line of travel.’ A woman from the Delphi family who said she was a descendent of the Pythia told me that.”

She smiled knowingly again, “Your tattoo, ya?”

Your mouth dropped slightly, “You knew?”

“I have the same one. I had the same impulse before I was pulled away. I didn’t even know you had it until I—“ she cut herself off, looking somber again before clearing her throat. “It’s the tree of knowledge, of balance. But how were you able to find them?”

“I’ve met some people since arriving here. A Romani family that I’ve grown quite close to. One of the brothers specifically, he— he helped me find them.”

Your mother hummed as she listened, her eyes moving again to the space around you. “What year is this exactly?”

“January 1919.” Your mother’s eyes widened. “I’ve been here a few months now.”

“And I thought fifty years was a shock,” she murmured. “Remarkable. Although the interwar period has it’s merits I suppose. Roaring 20s, jazz, rise of automotives, electricity, women’s suffrage. Though suppose it also has it’s negatives: Great Depression, prohibition, facisism, gangsters—“ You must have had a reaction, because your mother paused. “This man, is he a nice man?”

You swallowed at that, your eyes shifting. “I think he wants to be. But the circumstances are a little more complicated.”

“Complicated like organized crime complicated?” She retorted, and you were surprised at her humor in the situation. “Oh sweetheart, you didn’t—“

You scrunched your face, “I didn’t mean to. There’s been odd coincidences between us since even before we met. I had a vision of him the night I woke up here. He had one of me as well. And then there’s the other dreams—“

“What dreams?”

You took a deep breath, feeling once again like you were in a room filled with puzzle pieces trying to figure out which was the right piece to pick up and share with your mother. “I’ve had dreams. Very real feeling dreams of myself as Cassandra in ancient Troy. They’ve just been pieces though, it still feels incomplete.”

“You’ve got a strong connection to her,” your mother mused. “There has to be something in those dreams, that story, that can help you?”

Shifting in your place, she rose her brow at you. A wave of nostalgia hit you as you recalled the look many times from your childhood. She knew you had more.

“The Delphi woman, Madam Despoina, she— she called him Apollo. It’s his face I see in my dreams when I, as Cassandra, am with him, as Apollo. But I— I don’t know what that means.”

Her eyes narrowed as the muscle in her cheek flinched, “And does he mean something to you?”

Her question caused your brow to furrow. “What does that have to do with this?”

“Mother’s intuition, I suppose,” she smiled. “It’s been good to see you, my darling.”

“What do you—“

You blinked.

She was gone.

——-

You woke up the next morning on the cold floor of your apartment, the empty tea cup still laying on the rug.

“Mum!” you exclaimed with a jolt upward, looking to the spot in front of you.

But of course, no one was there. You were as alone in your apartment as you’d been when you arrived last night.

You reached for the tea cup and knew that it didn’t matter. Yesterday you might have tried to argue with yourself that you’d simply been dreaming or hallucinating, but the time for denial was over.

Whatever this stuff had been that Madam Despoina gave you had given you the ability to talk with your mother last night.

As you got ready for your shift at the Garrison, you tried to go through everything your mother had said to you, trying to commit it to memory, afraid that any little bit of it could slip away.

You were going through it for about the twentieth time when a patron cleared his throat at the bar.

“Apologies, I was—“ you turned and your customer service smile fell, “Oh, Benji, hello.”

“I was just coming by to see when you were available next,” he said, offering you his most handsome smile. “No deaths or births or any other excuses this time, eh?”

Your brow lifted, finding that statement slightly rude. It’s not as if you’d blown him off for a headache or something minor — someone had died.

But you knew what you had to do. Benji had been nothing but nice, if not a little forward, with you since you’d meet. It’d been wrong of you to accept his invitation when you were feeling alone and rejected. You couldn’t allow him to continue to believe he had a shot, but there was no reason to be rude about it.

“I’ve been thinking about that, Benji, and I just— I don’t think it’s such a great idea.” His smile slowly began to fall as you talked, his brow creasing. “I shouldn’t have accepted in the first place,” you continued, feeling awkward and guilty.

“Come on, love, you haven’t even given me a chance,” he tried to defend, pulling another smile on his face, though it didn’t reach his eyes.

“I wasn’t ready to start anything. I’m still— I’m still adjusting and I—“

“Hmm,” Benji shoved his fists in his pocket. “And this wouldn’t have anything to do with the rumors going around of you and Tommy, would it?”

Your mouth opened slightly at the allegation, but you couldn’t form any kind of defense. Instead you crossed your arms, “I’m not sure what you’re talking about.”

“Liar,” he hissed, slamming his fist to the bar top. The handful of patrons in the pub looked toward them, curious by the commotion. Benji noticed the eyes and cleared his throat, lowering his voice as he lifted his finger. “You’re making a big mistake, Y/N. Tommy-boy can’t sit on the throne forever, I’ll make sure of that.”

He gave you a wicked smile as he turned and left the pub, slamming the door on his way out.

You contemplated whether you should tell anyone about your interaction with Benji. Unsure if his threats were real or brought on simply by rejection and jealously, you decided to stay quiet for now.

Things had been quiet for a few days afterwards, but slowly you began to notice some major irregularities in the books. Benji’s numbers were showing signs of stealing again. It started off small, similar to what it’d been when you originally became suspicious of him. But now it was quite obvious.

Finally, you came to the conclusion that you had no choice but to bring this to Polly’s attention. It was early in the morning before the shop opened. Polly was helping with John’s kids while Ada was MIA (though if you were a betting woman, you’d say she was with Freddie), and you found yourself sitting alone at the kitchen table, book open in front of you as you felt weirdly conflicted over Benji’s malfeasance.

In the past, you hadn’t been aware of what happened to the people you reported. But now, you knew that there were physical repercussions for stealing from the Shelbys, even as extreme as death. And whether it was guilt for leading him on or some piece of you that still believed that deep down he was a good guy — you began to contemplate whether he deserved a fair warning before you officially reported him. If he knew that he wasn’t as sneaky as he thought he was, that someone was paying attention to him, maybe he’d realize his mistake and end it before something bad happened to him.

You got up to get some tea, trying to think through how exactly you were going to warn him without giving yourself away, when the front door opened.

“How were the kids?” You asked over your shoulder as you poured, assuming Polly had returned.

“Y/N?”

A deeper voice than you expected came from behind you. Spinning around, you were surprised to find the man himself standing in the kitchen doorway.

Your heart rate surged when his eyes moved curiously from you to the table, the open diary and pencil next to it.

“You–” he started, the gears in his head turning to process the scene in front of him. “It’s been you all along.”

“What are you–” you tried to discreetly walk toward the other set of doors, but Benji rounded the table quicker than you, cutting off your escape routes.

What was the saying about good intentions?

“Benji you shouldn’t—“ you tried to lift up your arms between you.

His eyes narrowed and he took a step toward you. Your back hit the counter behind you as he caged you in. “It’s you isn’t it? I kept trying to figure out how it was Lenny and Jackson got stitched. And there you were all along — the little mouse hiding in plain sight.”

“Get off me!” You shouted as you tried to push him away, but he grabbed your arms. You tried to use some of the self defense moves you’d learned, but Benji was stronger than you’d anticipated, and much more sober than the last man you had to fight off of you in the pub. He spun you around and pinned your arms behind your back, pressing his weight onto you so you were pinned even tighter against the shelves and counter. You tried to kick, but he had your legs locked between his.

You were completely defenseless.

“You think you can fuck with me—“

“I wasn’t— I haven’t said anything–,” you gasped out, your face against the shelves as you tried to catch your breath while still struggling to get him off you. You felt the tears begin to fall down your face as you felt helpless.

“And you fucking won’t! You killed my mates. I’m gonna make you wish you’d never met Tommy—“

“Oi!”

Polly’s voice shouting from the doorway finally caused Benji to release you. At the slightly feel of freedom, you pushed him off and ran for the other other end of the kitchen. You grabbed a near empty bottle near you and threw it at him. He ducked as it broke against the wall behind him.

“Out!” Polly shouted, grabbing his arm and pushing him out the door. “And don’t you dare come back!”

Benji was shouting as well, raving that he was a Peaky Blinder dammit, and no one could stop him from getting what he wanted.

He looked back at you as he said that and you shivered.

Sure, you were shaken by being manhandled like that by someone you thought was a good enough man. But more than that, you were angry. This had been the second time since you’d been here that a man thought he could toss you around like you were some kind of doll.

Polly turned back toward you, and immediately got busy pouring you a cup of tea. She let you take your time as you finally launched into explanation. At the end, she calmly rose from her seat and found Scudboat in the betting den, who’d shown up at some point in all your distraction. You watched as she whispered in his ear and then calmly again walked back toward the kitchen. She reached into a drawer and pulled out a small handgun.

“You know how to use this?”

Nodding, she handed it to you and told you to keep it on you from now on.

“Go back to work, Y/N. Benji won’t be bothering you again.”

——-

Polly had been right. Another week went by and you hadn’t seen or heard a peep from Benji. Part of you wondered if the bastard was dead, and you weren’t sure how exactly you felt when you realized that you didn’t really care.

You also wondered if Tommy knew now about what happened with Benji. You hadn’t heard from him since he left again, but knew from Polly and Ada that they’d be back by the following weekend.

In all the excitement, you’d forgotten about Tommy’s invitation to the races. When Ada burst into your apartment to announce that they were going shopping, you’d been surprised. It’d been a while since you’d been to the shops, but you weren’t going to deny the opportunity to find something nice to wear to your first race.

“I’ve been crying nonstop for weeks,” Ada explained as you both walked around, looking at different fabrics as she pointed out some options. “Every little thing sets me off, I tell ya. I thought it was because of the funeral, but Martha and I weren’t really that close. Suppose it’s sympathy for the kids. Dunno. It’s been making me so tired though. I think I may be ill or something.”

“Maybe,” you mused, grabbing the dress she handed you.

A woman caught the corner of your eye. At your gaze, she dropped her head and turned.

You ignored her, used to people staring when she was out with Ada. You hadn’t understood it when you’d first become friends, but now you realized.

When you saw her again at the next shop, you began to feel less like it was accidental.

“Hi,” you greeted when you met her eyes again. She looked away and tried to leave, but you spoke again, “Can I help you?”

The woman stopped finally and turned, her head down slightly sheepishly. She wore a small hat and trendy dress, her hair was cut short like most women of the day, and you could tell she was quite tall, though she seemed to slouch slightly. Her facial features were sharp, complimenting her slim body shape. She was quite beautiful, and in your day could see her being the ideal supermodel. But the bags under her eyes and wornness of her skin led you to believe that her story probably wasn’t that simple. Not here, in Small Heath.

“Pardon?” She finally said innocently, trying to subtly give you a once over as well.

You shrugged, “It just seemed like you were needing something from me. My mistake.”

You turned to leave but she spoke again. “This is incredibly improper of me, but I saw you and I just— you and Tommy, ya?”

As you turned back to her, your brow creased. Instinct had you looking around for Ada. Ever since your encounter with Benji, you’d been edgier than you’d ever been, always looking for the exits and for familiar faces to run toward. It made you feel incredibly vulnerable and you absolutely hated it. You felt your fingers grip the strings of your handbag, knowing the gun Polly had given you was safely tucked away inside.

Swallowing, you resounded yourself to shake it off, to toughen up, and you straightened your shoulders as you addressed the stranger once again. “Excuse me?”

“My sister saw you both walking home often late at night. I suppose he’s moved on, I shouldn’t be surprised.” She was rambling now, her cheeks blushed as if she were embarrassed by her own words. “I know we shouldn’t be speaking of this, not in public at least. It’s just hard, y’know, losing a customer. Especially one like him.”

Customer. You looked over the stranger in front of you again and tried to think of any other instance where her phrasing would make sense aside from the very clear one that came to mind.

Ada called for you, reaching you with a handful of dresses. You turned back to the woman who nodded and made her leave.

“Ada, who was that?”

She craned her neck and clicked her teeth. “Ah, that was Lizzie Stark. Surprised you haven’t seen her around town. Though why would you, less you were payin’ I suppose. Here, try these on.”

——-

It’d been a while since you’d been on a real date. Even before you’d been sent to this place, dates had started to dwindle as you got older and got more choosy. For a while, starting in college, you’d easily been able to flirt with someone new, get to know them, and then start a fling for a while until one or both of you got bored. The couple serious relationships you’d had were harder for you. Being vulnerable hadn’t come easy for you, and it created commitment and trust issues. Dates became more complicated than they were worth.

Tommy had greeted you at your place, and you surprised yourself with how much you missed him in the few weeks he’d been away. There was something about his presence, knowing that he was here, in the city, gave you a wave of some kind of safety and security that you hadn’t realized you’d been missing.

He looked tired, though he smiled at you warmly as he walked you toward the family car, and offered you a hand in as you climbed in.

This had been the first time you’d actually been excited for a date since possibly high school.

And of course, Harry had to go and buzz kill your mood the day before the races. He hadn’t meant to, of course. After the Benji incident, he’d been extra protective and cautious. You’d explained the situation (without the stealing money from the Shelbys part) and he’d been surprisingly sensitive. But he believed his recent pub decision would make you feel better instead of make you sour.

“Somethin’ the matter?” He asked when you were quieter than he expected. “If this is about Hancock—“

“No,” you answered, already knowing from Polly that Tommy and the brothers had learned of Benji’s malfeasance, but he’d disappeared before Scudboat and Lovelock could find him. You’d cursed your previous self for trying to be sympathetic toward the man — it seemed like you’d just made everything worse. “It’s nothing honestly, just something silly.”

“Go on, then. I can handle silly.”

Your cheek flinched as you looked over toward Tommy, humored by him even saying the word ‘silly’. He rose his eye brow as he looked over to you, offering you a smirk before pulling his eyes back to the road.

“Harry’s putting in an advertisement in the paper for another barmaid.”

Tommy’s smirk turned into a frown, “Is he mad? The place wouldn’t be standin’ without you — I’ve seen the numbers, I know. I’ll have a word with Harry—“

“He’s not replacing me,” you quickly corrected. “I thought the same thing, but he wants me to concentrate more on the books and said he’d rather bring someone in part time to fill in behind the bar.”

“Ah,” his brow creased as he gave you a short look. “The problem, then?”

You sighed, knowing that you were being childish. “I’m just feeling territorial, is all. I know I’m not technically being replaced, but part of it feels that way. Did I mention I have a small case of control issues? I blame it on being an only child.”

Tommy chuckled softly and shook his head. “You have nothing to worry about. If anything it’ll leave more time for you to do your real job.”

“My real job?” You asked him curiously.

“The Shelby business, ‘course. Wheels are already in motion, and today we’re going to enact the second part of my plan.”

“And that is?”

Tommy smiled, “Gonna buy a horse.”

>> next chapter << chapter masterlist

Tag list: @cillixn @sidefanficaccounttohidemyshame @cillmequick @swordofawriter @sweetmilkshakeluminary @nataliewalker93 @ttae-yong @topstory21 @cole-silas @moral-terpitude @optimisticsandwichgladiator @reallysparklychaos @enrapturedbythemoon @bat-shark-repellant @kpopslur @skxawngs @musicsweetie21 @invisiblexcth @whoisf4yryl0v3r @laylasbunbunny @lordofthunderthr @luvstylesz @roseanimelover @lostgirl219 @berarenado @akemiixx01 @mulletmcghee @jasminxts @oneboygenius @piceous21 @xoprincessmel @the-blueatlas @regatoni1 @goblinjnr @gentyleman @xxbeckybeexx-blog @tanyaherondale @sometimes-i-sing @littlewhiterose @ja-4-leyvam @rubyxx16 @allie131313 @pet1t3 @globetrotter28 @woofgocows @radrouda @wildernessflora @jeysbae @lilianashomaresparza @himikotoga101 @a-asterias @sourholland @samywhale @thecityofspareparts @ponyboys-sunsets @mariaelizabeth21-blog1 @vastseamind @optimisticsandwichgladiator @booktvmoviefangirl @drquinnzel0217qqqqqqqqqqq @zodiyack @ofkilljoysandslytherins @bluevenus19 @ce1iat @mgajdaaa @babyotileeblog @arcanebabe @iamtrashsry @snowtargaryen @mottergirl99 @sinarainbows @belledawnidk @laneyspaulding19 @warrior-of-justice @kkrenae @ryswritingrecord @qtkat @monifaagha @avidread3r

#Peaky blinders #tommy shelby #thomas shelby #tommy shelby x reader #tommy shelby x y/n #Tommy shelby x oc #tommy shelby x ofc #tommy shelby imagine #tommy shelby fanfic #tommy shelby imagines #peaky blinder imagine #peaky blinder fanfic #peaky blinder imagines #thomas shelby x reader #thomas shelby x oc #fanfic #mine #time after time

203 notes · View notes

greenandsorrow · 1 month

Text

the fox (2): Found something real that's out of touch.

Alastor x fem!reader (sfw, platonic)

stay tuned for the finale chapter

"To you I am nothing more than a fox like a hundred thousand other foxes. But if you tame me, then we shall need each other. To me, you will be unique in all the world."

~Le petit prince, Antoine de Saint-Exupery

The girl woke up with a start. Her mother was by her side. The monotone sound of the machines attached to her body could be heard. She had died but they had brought her back.

In the few minutes it had taken to revive her, her soul had wandered all the way to Hell- due to how there hadn't been any guidance from Heaven. Her death hadn't been meant to happen. Not yet.

Time flew differently in the afterlife, since she had spent a good fifteen days at the hotel, but as mentioned, only a couple of minutes at the hospital.

The girl lived. She left the hospital, but she kept her promise to Alastor. She never forgot about him. While he was in Hell, thinking she was in Heaven, she was alive, roaming Earth.

She searched a plethora of archives at Louisiana's library and she tried to gather as much information as possible from her grandma about Alastor the radio host.

A serial killer that would hide his victims' bodies on deer haunting ground. He had been killed while mistaken for one. Hence his appearance in the afterlife. He was also found to be linked to voodoo practices- for hurtful purposes.

He had been a bad man in all his life. He had caused pain to others, but she couldn't just ignore the way he had been there for her during her short stay in the hotel.

Alastor was the one cooking her Jambalaya when she was sad and entertaining her with his charm and wit. That's how she'd always remember him. The smiling, gentledeer with the black cane.

She went as far as visiting Louisiana's old cemetery. Why would she leave flowers on the grave of a killer? Why would she sit and reminisce about one of Hell's most devious sinners? She wasn't the one to give him forgiveness. She didn't even try to justify his vile actions. The flowers were simply her way of saying "thank you, because even though you've done so many wrongs, you did at least one good deed and that was helping me".

The photograph on the grave -placed behind a now broken frame- was fading slowly but surely. The young man that looked back at her had a smooth, tan complexion and bespectacled, smart eyes. The shade of his eyes and hair reminded her of hot coffee in the morning. The quality wasn't great, but then again, coloured pictures weren't as advanced back then.

Alastor's visits to Rosie grew more frequent after his little, fluffy friend vanished. He'd sit for hours with his hellborn bestie, telling her about every single detail of his experience with the young girl.

"I'm surprised you didn't just devour her Hun! I'm sure she'd taste so delicious!"

"Dear Rosie... I have to be honest with you... If there's one person except from my mother that I would never hurt... It is her, the fox."

Both of whom were gone for the foreseeable eternity.

With Rosie refilling his tea cup frequently and asking him additional questions, Alastor couldn't help but think about the fox.

It hadn't been all good times, but now that she was gone, even the not so pleasant memories carried a bittersweet quality to them.

For example, there had been many arguments between them and the girl hadn't been scared to show him her teeth, quite literally.

He found himself thinking of her again as he made his way back to the hotel, after his visit at Cannibal town.

Alastor's memory...

She was being nosy again. Asking too many questions.

"Well yes, I did die in the woods like you... It's peculiar. This is the first time I ever meet someone who died under the same circumstances... not the exact same, but you get my drill?"

The girl had shrugged, but she hadn't been able to suppress her smile at being given attention. Alastor had continued talking, simultaneously warming up his voice for his radio show.

"What if this is too much of a coincidence? What if this is part of some bigger plot..."

"A bigger plot? How so Alastor?"

He liked the way she pronounced his name. She'd say it with caution, like it was something important that should be respected.

Sometimes people get sent in our lives for a reason. Sometimes they teach us a lesson. Sometimes we are the lesson. Sometimes they are reminders. Reminders of things we had forgotten that existed.

"Do you have a tail?"

"What do you you expect?"

"Oh please show me!"

As much as he wanted to be intimidating and taken seriously, even if he was an overlord, the fact that his body got changed into a deer was somewhat humiliating. He. Is. Not. Prey.

"Not happening."

He should have shown her, just to see that sparkle in her eyes. Regret.

Charlie was singing. It wasn't like him zoning out, but a few weeks ago the fox had been in that very same room, walking away... frustrated.

Alastor's memory...

"Oh dear..." he had muttered, following after her before swiftly stepping in front of her and slightly raising his arm, blocking her way.

"Now it would be quite rude to simply walk away, would it not?"

"Manners are the last thing occupying my mind after I was thrown in purgatory."

He had let out a chuckle of agreement at her point.

"Sometimes a bit of charm can take you a long way in life... and besides the company of your sweet self would be delightful!"

"Can it take me to Heaven?"

"What about a story sweetheart? It was so brutal when I first spawned here... just thinking about that time makes my tongue tingle with the sweet taste of blood."

"I hate this place."

She had been unhappy all the time he knew her.

In a mockingly sympathetic tone Alastor had tried to distract her.

"Awww... are you really not enjoying your stay here in our beautiful hotel? I'm sure you have met some really interesting individuals."

"I prefer my well deserved place in HEAVEN thank you very much."

All their conversations had always circled back to that exact point.

While she was beginning to grow on him, to her Alastor was still no one. She would chat with him, but he wasn't someone special in her heart. The radio demon hated himself for allowing that bond to bloom, but he hated himself even more because it was one sided. Him being on the losing end.

And there had been another fight that very same day.

"LET ME DOWN"

"Ask nicely."

"I hate you."

Alastor's playful attitude had vanished.

"Hate is a strong feeling. What is there to hate? My looks? My voice? My past?"

"You're a demon. You're... I hate you as much as I hate this place."

Sometimes it was truly infuriating how stubborn she would be.

"Um... I... I don't know. Everything."

"Everything?"

Despite himself, Alastor's tone had gotten slightly bitter.

"Well... this just ruins the mood now. Don't you think it's rather unreasonable to hate someone you've known only for three days? I can tell you're quite childish... but you're not that childish, right young one?"

She had placed a palm on his chest to push him away. She was practically glowing from purity while he was emitting pure darkness.

The radio demon had looked a little surprised when the girl had pushed him away without showing fear. Leaning in, he'd spoken in a whisper while his hot breath had hit her cheek.

"My dear, you shouldn't resist what's happening... Just allow yourself to stay with us at the hotel... As a sinner."

Alastor had decided to corrupt the new resident of the hotel. His taunting words and unsettling change of size hadn't fazed her... The girl had been scared, but still, she had managed to give him a few really sharp scratches. Yet, he hadn't responded to pain at all.

...he would always carry the little scars she left on him. A reminder that she had been there.

The real reason he had wanted her to stay was selfish. It would have done her more harm than good. He didn't like how he had acted like the bigger person.

But when it had happened -the ridiculous scratches- with a threatening voice he had told her...

"You think you're so strong Fox, huh? Because if I wanted to, I could crush you with just a single motion of one of my fingers."

"Then, you'd... you'd have Heaven against you!"

He had bursted into a laugh.

"Oh dear... I can't believe how naive you are! Heaven is not going to do anything to defend an insignificant person such as yourself. They're more worried about themselves and their perfect little world. The ones you look up to are always the first to disappoint you mon petit renard."

He never understood why he had said that to her. He had practically tried to save her from a heartbreaking realization. A realization that had always pained Alastor in his childhood. To know you have to fend for yourself. While he had perfected the art, he wished she didn't have to.

He had forgotten they were fighting.

She was dreaming of him, again. Red hair. Razor blades for teeth. The sound of static filling the air and making her hair fuzz up.

The girl liked that memory, it was one of her favourites to relive in her sleep.

The fox's memory...

"No, my dear fox, you're not a good soul. In reality you're really just a little hypocrite and have a high opinion of yourself- haha!"

She had been curled up in a ball in her bed. Luscious hair flowing and a light dress covering her small body.

Alastor had walked into the room she was occupying and had sat down next to her. He had spoken in a soft and caring voice.

"You don't have to try and stay holy while you're here in hell... This is a safe place where you can act out your hedonistic desires and not worry about being judged by anyone!"

"Jeez Alastor! I don't have such desires... My only desire right now is a fluffy blanket and some hot chocolate."

Alastor had snapped his fingers... He then had turned into a shadow, slipping away like sand and returning like a chilly breeze... With hot chocolate and a very fluffy blanket he had most definitely stolen from Charlie's bedroom.

Her eyes had widened and she had smiled.

"Oh my gosh..."

He had grinned in response. It wasn't like him acting on impulse, without deeper motives.

"I told you mon renard! This is the best place you could possibly be to try and relax! Here we are free from all the restrictions set on us in Heaven!"

"Thank you Alastor!"

She had never bought a thing he had told her and he knew it. But this act had somehow been calming this... this weird apprehension. The demon had somehow known that his time with her would be limited. She hadn't belonged.

In comparison to him, she was a saint, an angel even.

While she had been drinking her hot chocolate, he had taken the opportunity to really look at her, imprinting her features in his memory, engraving the shine of her fangs and the blush on her cheeks in his brain.

"Now just look at that cute little face of yours!"

"Oh, look as much as you want. I'll be gone soon anyway."

She had said that with such a confidence. He wouldn't have shown her, but she could sense it. He was sad.

Alastor had simply chuckled and then sighed.

"Yes I guess so. But for now just rest... Maybe tomorrow will be your lucky day!"

He gently stroked her hair, until her eyes had closed.

"Sleep well darling~"

That night she had decided he was someone to her and not just anyone.

She never knew, but that same night he had noticed how small she actually was compared to him and had genuinely smiled.

She smiled in her sleep, mimicking the motion he had made... months ago.

...time flies.

The car accident was years ago in a blink of an eye.

All the parts-> here!

🧡Please do not repost or directly copy my work.

🧡This fic's title is a lyric from 'Not about angels' by Birdy. It's not proof read, so forgive any spelling or grammar errors.

🧡The human Alastor fanart isn't mine. All credits go to the artist.

🧡I am aware this isn't everyone's cup of tea -writing wise or plot wise- but it was a spontaneous idea of mine I wanted to try and make work.

🧡dividers-> @saradika-graphics & @cafekitsune

🧡my masterlist

your tips keep me motivated to write! THANK YOU for supporting my blog!!! 🤍 CLICK HERE(PayPal link)

lil tag list; @mariaclarade-la-cruz1

56 notes · View notes

phoenix-downer · 3 months

Text

FFVII Rebirth Demo Impressions

I played the demo several nights ago and loved it! This post is about my thoughts/impressions as I was playing.

(Quick note: My shipping preferences are Cloud/Tifa and Zack/Aerith, so that is going to influence my perspective and what I write about. There will also be spoilers for the OG game and Crisis Core throughout).

One of the first things I noticed as I was playing through was the graphics. The graphics look fantastic. I can tell the game being on the PS5 is making a big difference. The jump in quality from Remake to Rebirth is really noticeable.

It's so weird seeing Cloud act like Zack. Like I KNOW it's Zack and it's creeping me out a;lksdjfdfj because it's just...so not Cloud. They knocked the "this is wrong" vibes out of the park by using Zack's mannerisms and gestures with Cloud's model slapped on top, and it's giving this uncanny valley feeling to everything "Cloud" does. Cody Christian even sounds more like Zack's VA (Caleb Pierce). The attention to detail with all that is excellent. The updated graphics give them a lot to work with in terms of showing the wonkiness with Cloud's memories.

There was also a clever shot in the truck of "Cloud" asking the real Cloud if he's okay, and you see a hint of Cloud's blond hair peeking through the helmet.

I liked the dramatic/heroic version of Sephiroth's theme that played. And when Zack gets hurt by one of the monsters, I think it was Cloud who made sure he's okay, which was a sweet touch. Also, the screen is tinted with green, which is a cool way to show the effects of the Mako poisoning on Cloud.

Another thing I noticed: Cloud's eyes look SUPER green, more so than in Remake. Don't know if it's the upgrade to the PS5 or if they wanted to show the Mako poisoning progressing, but I thought it was a cool detail.

Okay it's like Cloud swapped he and Zack in his memories directly at one point soon after they arrive in Nibelheim. I swear this is 100% what Zack would've said to Cloud about Aerith, but instead it's one of the "security officers" saying it to "Cloud": "So, any friends here you wanna see? Maybe a girlfriend? Speaking of which, I bet you're dying to hear about mine. Am I right?"

Lmao Sephiroth still has groupies, this is giving Crisis Core fanclub vibes and I'm all here for it. I'm glad the game still has those silly moments and that continuity with past games. It makes the tragedy I know will unfold later on that much more poignant.

Speaking of which, it's depressing seeing all the townspeople in Nibelheim knowing they're going to die. Just walking around talking to them, Nibelheim really feels like a lived-in place that Cloud has so many personal connections to.

An NPC asked Cloud if he's seen his mother yet, another one recognized me, and another couple of people noticed me and asked if I'm looking for Tifa. They Know™️

Also, it's really interesting seeing Cloud craft the welcome home he WISHES he had gotten. He wanted to come back to Nibelheim as a hero everyone praised, but the reality was much different. So seeing that contrast is a really good insight into Cloud's psyche and what he wants (praise, recognition, approval, etc.)

Oh found some cats, I'm glad there's another area dedicated to just cats ;aldjf; (complete with photographic evidence):

Awwwwww there was a sweet reference to Tifa leading the exercise classes for Nibelheim from Traces of Two Pasts, and she asks Cloud in the modern day if he was able to keep up with the class (she wasn't teaching this particular one, but I love that bit of continuity).

Tifa you can tell is nostalgic for Nibelheim hearing Cloud's recounting of what happened too, the voice acting and dialogue for this part is all really well-done.

The option to see Cloud's mom was really well-done. Cloud never went back to see her in reality, of course, which means his memory glitches out like crazy during this part: he "hears" his mother talking to him about a conversation that happened at an earlier time, like his brain is desperately trying to create something that never happened and is latching onto the nearest fragments it can find. I like how they translated this scene from the OG game, it gave off eerie vibes.

HE DID THE LIL SHRUG AND NOD LIKE HE DOES IN THE OG GAME if you try to enter his mom's house again after the "memory" is over. Also, it's like his mind is trying to protect itself from delving too deeply into a false memory so glitchy (and maybe he feels a deep level of guilt at not actually going to see her as well), and so you can't go back into his house, just like in the OG game.

You can have Cloud go up the water tower too, and he looks towards Tifa's window THE ANGST OF IT ALL a;lskdfj. I love those little moments of Pining™️

Tifa's like wait you went to my place?? Oh Cloud...you were such an awkward weirdo...

"Our reasons, huh? I bet most of them had to do with you." Barret shading Cloud for why he and Tifa didn't hang out more ;alkdjf again I love the humor in these moments.

Awwww Fluffy got mentioned! Nice to hear her brought up again.

"You went into my room?" I'm dead. Tifa sounds so indignant and rightfully so. It's weirdo behavior Cloud ;laskdfj

"You went through my stuff?!" Not off to a great start buddy, but I had him pick that option because I figured he ought to be honest. Tifa and Aerith both call him an asshole if you admit to doing it too, which made me laugh. And naturally my mind is wondering how this will impact the iconic date later on. Did I just piss both Aerith and Tifa off and lose affection points with both girls? Probably lol (and honestly, Cloud deserved it for that stunt).

Tifa's lil moogle plushie on her bed is adorable. I love the touches like that that make the environment feel more lived in.

Awwww I found Tifa's theme to play on the piano hehe. I love that that's the first piano piece you can find in the game. Just one of my favorite FFVII songs because it fits Tifa so perfectly and has this bittersweet sense of longing as well as this beautiful tenderness to it.

Also, I got a kick out of the piano minigame. The first time I wasn't great at it and got a C. I struggled to do both "hands" at the same time. I did it two more times after that, and it starts to sound really nice when you have a streak of a bunch of correct notes in a row. Like Cloud's going to town on the piano with extra flourishes. If you miss notes again though the metronome comes back on lol like "you still need to practice and get the rhythm down."

The second two times I got an A (I'll have to keep practicing to get a star and see what happens), and the gang praised Cloud, which I thought was cool.

Found more Sephiroth groupies and ran into Zangan in the inn. It was really sweet hearing Zangan praise Tifa so highly. Also, "Cloud" saying, "yeah right" when Zangan says "Tifa will go far" is another good clue Cloud isn't himself. Tifa was offended and Aerith was offended on her behalf. I love how Aerith keeps backing Tifa up on stuff, it's really nice to see more of their friendship.

The photographer dude is back and I love him. And he even says the same thing he said to Zack in Crisis Core about how he can't waste his film on Zack because he doesn't know who he is ;alskdfj. What's a guy got to do to get a little respect?

"You look so different" lol yes I do random villager because I'm not me, and then there are some nice creepy foreshadowing moments from her kids. The girl says, "Gonna beat those monsters?" and the boy says, "Gonna be 'em?"

The irony of the mayor saying he'd brag about Sephiroth visiting Nibelheim till the day he dies:

I still really love Brian Lockhart's design. He's like if the 70s met cowboy fashion, and it just works somehow. And this carries over from the OG game, but his concerns about Tifa's safety are well-founded given what happened when she and Cloud were kids and sets up future reveals in the remake trilogy nicely.

Also, Tifa is so small next to Sephiroth. I love her sass in this part of the story, and this time around there's some country twang banjo version of her theme and I love it. Also Sephiroth shaded the camera guy al;sdkfj;dskf but "Cloud" talked him into it and thus the iconic photo came into being. Again those moments of humor will never not be funny. And I loved how Tifa was being such a good guide and giving info about the area as they started to ascend the mountain.

Also, when you finally get to the title screen, it cracked me up how Nomura is listed first, before Hamaguchi. Probably a seniority/respect thing, but Nomura is the creative director and Hamaguchi is the director.

Also, the version of the main theme that plays as you go up Mt. Nibel is awesome, and once again I had to get a screenshot because this area is just so beautiful:

Tifa wanting to travel is a sweet touch, though Sephiroth is practical and points out that he travels on business trips and not for fun. Of course "Cloud" points out that you do learn stuff on these trips. It's a nice contrast between Tifa's naive optimism, Sephiroth's jaded world-weary outlook, and Zack's positivity tempered by experience.

Also, Sephiroth's hair is very swishy. I thought that needed a note as I was playing this. Props to the artists, animators, etc. who rendered it.

I chuckled at Tifa racing up the mountain and teasing "Cloud" and Sephiroth about whether or not they can keep up. Just shows a fun, playful side to her personality and also shows how eager she is to prove herself. And then she dropkicked a monster to protect "Cloud" and then teased him about it alks;jfdsf. She's so much snarkier with Zack than she is with Cloud, and it's an interesting contrast.

The real Cloud of course is in the background, protecting Tifa from danger. Even in his rewritten version of history, the real him is lurking in his subconscious protecting her because she's that important to him. She thanked him so sweetly when he did too.

I made a note about seeing the bridge that collapsed with Cloud and Tifa on it when they were kids, man all the little details like this and the foreshadowing is just A+.

Tifa has Trauma™️ from falling off a bridge before, hmmm, wonder what that's from, and she's still like hey I'm the guide I'll lead us a;ldkfj when "Cloud" offers to go first lol.

Still holds true years later but wooooow Nibelheim sucks at constructing good bridges lol. It was a wholesome moment where "Cloud"/Zack grabbed Cloud and kept him from drowning though, and Sephiroth was able to grab Tifa (which is ironic considering how he tries to kill her not much later, and it's sad because it really shows he was a good guy). Of course the other security officer probably drowned rip, poor guy.

YAY SEPHIROTH'S IN MY PARTY FINALLY

"For your performance review" lol I like Sephiroth's sass and how he teases "Cloud" like this.

I just obliterate everything playing as Sephiroth ;alsdkfj and truly love playing as him. And him slamming his own dad will never not be funny, I mean Hojo just really sucks.

At this point I started focusing more on playing the game since there were more monsters to fight etc., but I still got some nice screenshots and had a few more thoughts.

The Mako spring just looks incredible, so I had to include a photo:

The scenery by the ocean was gorgeous too, I can't wait to go to Costa del Sol:

The real Cloud helping Tifa get to safety from the monster and "Cloud"/Zack and Sephiroth being bros is top-tier content. Also Sephiroth looks like a model in pretty much every shot he's in:

Oh the dramatic irony of Tifa not knowing it's Cloud and him refusing to talk and her being sassy and telling him, "You better keep me safe" and then of course he does. The music is creepy now that we're about to enter the reactor lol, of course it is.

"Would it kill this guy to say something" he would die from embarrassment and shame, yes:

"The company really needs to be more transparent" that's the understatement of the year "Cloud" ;lakfj;asdf

Cool use of JENOVA'S theme. I always enjoy hearing that theme and how otherworldy but also very 90s it sounds.

Zangan's comment here is gold, I love the bee in his bonnet bit:

The Shinra basement stuff was genuinely creepy l;kasjdf like I know what happens and I was still freaked out! The atmosphere was just really well done.

"I should go. Mother is waiting." There it is, the iconic meme line a;ldal;skdjf;lsdjf it just kills me, Sephiroth is such a psycho.

Loved seeing Zangan helping people get out of the town and telling "Cloud" to get in there and help, but of course the situation is still incredibly dire by the time "Cloud" gets there.

This shot in front of the water tower was gorgeous and really haunting, especially when the water tower collapsed. Just the symbolism with that, the loss of Cloud and Tifa's special place and how not long after this, he feels like he failed her and failed to keep his promise:

Main Scenario: Check on Mom. Oh Cloud...

And then you see the real Cloud collapsed in front of his house and calling for his mom, this is so depressing:

This is where the more realistic graphics really serve the story well, because it makes this moment that much more of a gut punch, especially when he hears his mother begging him to live. The last few moments before her soul returns to the planet perhaps, trying to save her son from danger one last time.

And now that "Cloud" is hurt, he looks busted up even in the menu. I thought that was a cool detail to include.

It's like Cloud's memories are trying to right themselves because he winds up on the ground like where he was supposed to be. When Sephiroth murdered the man who tried to help him and then went on his creepy murder spree of several other villagers culminating with the mayor, that was all really well done too. Horrifying because there's nothing Cloud can do to stop the senseless murder of people he's known all his life, and it really shows how cold and ruthless Sephiroth has become.

This moment was good too with the memories seeming glitchy again:

And then of course I must end this on The Iconic Scene™️ a;lsdkfja;kdslf complete with psycho smirk:

Needless to say, I very much enjoyed this demo and am looking forward to the Juno one! And the full game, February 29 can't come fast enough.

59 notes · View notes

love-hatred-stuff · 1 year

Text

solo [sequel shot]

》 alright so I know it's starts off rough but this is for those who needed a happy end for my fic "solo"

Enjoy my babiesss :3 ♡

"Come on. Please tell me what I did wrong and I'll fix it."

"I'm wrong, James! I was wrong and that isn't your fault. I just don't wanna hang out anymore." A few tears slipped past your eyelids. You were devastated and you knew this day would come. You knew one day he'll find someone that's better than you. Not as broken as you. More useful as a partner in a relationship and not someone who ruins fucking everything.

You were truly heartbroken. But you tried to be happy for him and you were actually. It stung nonetheless, seeing him with another girl that seems to be so put together, so emotionally available. Complete opposite of you and you guess that's why it hurt even more. Him picking someone who is the exact opposite personality type of yours, not to mention someone who looks completely different from what you looked like. It underlined your deepest fear, him actually prefering everything that doesn't represent you.

The thought that had held you together for the past years had suddenly lost its meaning, the thought that he loved you more than anyone else, his promise to be always available for you, vanished, broken. You tried to understand, but it was more than just hard to comprehend.

"But why won't you tell me the reason!?" Bucky was crushed when he heard from you that you can't see each other anymore privately, that he had to forget about you and your close friendship. Because what you didn't know, was that he still loved you, he never stopped. He had never found someone better than you because for him someone like that doesn't even exist. Bucky only ever wanted you to be his, the person he's been in love with for the past two years, the one that he can't help but feel the need to take care of.

"I can't just say 'yeah okay, I won't bother you anymore' to my best friend of so many years I've lost count! You're not just a friend to me, y/n. You're everything I have. You're the only person that truly knows me." James wiped his mouth in desperation. He couldn't loose you. He'd stop breathing.

"Yeah, clearly not." You mumbled under your breath.

"What was that?" He didn't quite catch that.

"James, you know how I am. I'm selfish, manipulative and stubborn. I can't look at your face anymore. Not while knowing you're thinking of someone else while looking a me."

Buckys eyes widened. Only now realising what was going on.

"Why would I do that? I only ever think of you. My brain doesn't even know what to think of otherwise. Would you mind to explain what or who got you thinking this way?" He k ow demanded further explanation.

"I don't wanna talk about this anymore. I'm gonna head home." Was the only answer you gave him, taking your bag, ready to leave him the fuck alone with his new girl.

"I think the fuck not." Bucky walked in front of you, blocking your way.

Now it was your turn to be surprised. He never talked to you like this. He barely cursed.

"I really should though, I don't wanna take away your quality time with someone else." It may have sounded childish but you meant it. You didn't wanna take away his chance to find and enjoy love. You've done that enough the past years.

"What are you even talking about? I don't have anyone else to spend my time with, are you kidding me?" He was endlessly confused.

This was the last straw, now you were getting angry. He should stop acting like he wasn't meeting up with this girl that he met at a party. You were fucking there when they introduced each other. And you were convinced he had already slept with her. Though you wouldn't blame him, as she really was gorgeous, not only that, but she seemed genuine, too. A real catch.

"Are you kidding me?! James, stop acting like there's nothing between Anna and you! I know there is, I have eyes, you know. Besides, Steve always tells me how much you talk, not only with her but also about her. And knowing that makes me sick! I want you to be happy, and if that happiness doesn't require me, I'm fine with that, but I don't wanna watch you fall in love with her! I just can't, okay? So my decision is to avoid you two so I don't have to look at it any fucking longer, or else I'll go insane!" That's it. That's all you had to say. It was more than you intended to but at least you've got it out.

Bucky just stood there, completely baffled, speechless. He couldn't believe it.

You've tried to shove him out of your way, but he didn't budge.

"If you aren't gonna say anything, can I leave?" You groaned, feeling vulnerable now that he knew your heart.

"So you are telling me, you're jealous of Anna? Of someone who'll always be more interested in you than me?" Your heart began to race.

"Are you implying that she isn't into guys?" You wanted to make sure, not quite getting his point.

Bucky nodded calmly.

"Yeah, she's into you though." He replied.

"Oh my God!" You scoffed, embarrassed by yourself, looking anywhere except his eyes.

"I really thought you liked her. I thought you two were hooking up. I'm so sorry for misinterpreting this, James."

"Quit with the 'James'. You were jealous, weren't you?" He nudged you.

"I guess I was." You nodded shyly.

"Does that mean that- that you like me?" His cheeks getting rosy, you looked up at him.

"Of course I like you, dork!" You laughed, but he sighed.

"No I mean; really like me. As in you're in love me?" Bucky was unsure and scared asking this, but it was time to make this confession.

You looked away, your smile turning into something more vulnerable.

"I don't know? I just want you to myself. I want you to only take care of me, no one else. You're only boy I would let sleep in my bed next to me. And over all I guess I wouldn't mind being more than just a friend to you."

Bucky gently stroked your tear stained cheek, looking lovingly into your eyes.

"You've always been more than a friend to me Y/n. If you let me, I would like to call you my girlfriend and not just my best friend. Because hell, I fucking am in love with you!" He leaned in and let his lips softly touch yours for the first time. It was even better than he imagined it to be.

You two kissed for the following ten minutes without having to take a break. When he carefully let go of your lips to breath, he leaned his forehead against you and sighed once again, this time in utter happiness.

"So what do you say? Will you finally be mine?" His voice sweet and so full of love, just like the kiss you had shared.

"I don't know, what did you say? Anna likes me, yeah?" You joked, giggling into his chest.

He laughed along with you.

"Don't you dare." Bucky smiled, giving you another kiss.

He knew he wouldn't ever be able to get enough of the girl he was now finally allowed to call his.

#bucky barnes x reader #bucky barnes imagine #bucky barnes angst #bucky barnes fic #bucky barnes fluff #bucky moodboards

200 notes · View notes

bluebellhairpin · 7 months

Text

Tamed.

Kenny Ackerman X Reader

Summary: Working as a bartender you meet a lot of different people. Kenny Ackerman just happens to be one of your regulars. Maybe a friend. Perhaps more.

Warnings: Swearing. Kinda Perv Kenny (but he's a good Uncle so it cancels out ig). Canon Character Death. Reader; drinks alcohol, is called 'sweetheart', refers to themselves as ' the mothering type', otherwise is g/n.

Listening to: 'More Than a Feeling' by Boston - "So many people have come and gone. Their faces fade as the years go by yet I still recall as I wander on, as clear as the sun in the summer sky - it's more than a feeling."

Masterlist || Ko-Fi || Slice of Life Collab

You’d been working at The Lake for two years. They would’ve been quite a pleasant two years working the local watering hole, if not for your own personal demon leering over your shoulder most nights.

Kenny Ackerman.

It wasn’t that he was an awful guy. His more sleazy words and looks were only ever that, words and looks. He dared never lay such sleazy hands on anyone - which was half the reason he had never been kicked out. It was mostly due to his endearing quality of how quick he was to throw hands with other patrons - the rowdy ones who deserved to be thrown out to begin with - and he almost loved doing the honours of telling people not to come back too much.

Either way, he was more annoying than anything else. Plain old annoying.

Kenny was so closed off that - even after two years of shifts that ended at 1AM where you stumbled out from exhaustion after closing, and he stumbled out beside you from one too many beers - you couldn’t even say you knew his favourite colour. But…

You did know he rode a Harley Davidson which roared into the parking lot almost every night you worked. He’d tempted you with a ride home on it multiple times, and you’d yet to agree - and as much as you itched to take him up on the offer, the unspoken cat and mouse game you’d started wasn’t going to be ended by you.

You knew he had a tattoo that stretched over the back of his shoulders - thanks to a New Year's bet that he wouldn’t completely strip and jump off the jetty into the lake (the one the bar was named after). He won over a hundred dollars that night, and promptly shouted everyone their next drink. The tattoo read ‘Ripper’ in big gothic block letters. Not that you remembered on purpose - anyone would remember a tattoo like that, you told yourself.

You knew he had a sister - he didn’t talk about her much, but he brought a woman in with him once and told you “not to worry your pretty head” about it. She was a pretty little thing, with dark hair and eyes that matched his. She had a manner to her that spoke of a kind soul with thick skin. You liked her, but you’d yet to see her again.

And you knew he was one of the only patrons of The Lake who could pull off a greasy mullet. Or sing Redgum karaoke while barely being able to stand and still make it sound good. Hell, that somehow made it sound more real, the guy had you almost pouring a martini through tears.

You had guessed that tonight would be just like any other.

It wasn’t.

Thursday’s were about as uninhabited as The Lake got. On a night so humid, and with no reason to get out of the house, no one was around. A storm was smelt in the air, one evening spent at home wasn’t a worry for anyone, if only to save themselves from being caught in the rain.

Hearing Kenny’s bike rumble into his usual spot was no difficult feat on a night so quiet. You’d just finished fishing out a new box of beer bottles for a fridge behind the bar that was lacking when he walked in. What had you stopping mid-step with your mouth open wide enough to catch flies was who he had with him.

“Whose fucking kid is that Kenny?”

Nothing but the sound of The Rolling Stones answered your question. “I could not foresee this thing happening to you.” The jukebox sang.

Yet the state of the child whose bicep was in a vice grip between Kenny’s fingers only raised even more questions. His face wall sunken in, and eyes blown wide as if taking in the world for the first time. He looked awful.

Kenny walked over to the bar, dragging the poor boy beside him and pulling him up onto a bar stool before sliding onto one himself. You sat the box down on the floor, looking at Kenny expectantly.

“What food you got?”

“Depends what you’re looking for.” Kenny looked down at the boy, pointing vaguely.

“Hasn't eaten in,” they both shared a quiet look, “A while.”

“M’kay.” You ducked into the back room, telling your chef/manager/accountant/boss that an actual meal was needed tonight, then returned with a pre-made peanut bowl. You slid it down in front of the kid, turning again behind the bar to make up a glass of water and passing it to him also.

Then you turned to Kenny.

“I know you don’t like telling people stuff, but for that kid’s sake I’m gonna have to ask you what you’re doing with him.” You said, eyeing the boy as he plunged his hand into the bowl of peanuts. “You don’t really give off ‘dad’ vibes, deadbeat or otherwise, and I really hope you didn’t kidnap him.” He just scoffed.

“Can I get a whiskey.” he said, looking up at you, “Or are you just good for not minding your business and looking pretty?”

“I’m trying to make sure you’re not doing bad guy shit. I can let the lewd comments slide, but if you’re doing stuff with a kid you’re not supposed to I’m gonna call the cops.” you said, “No need to be rude about it.”

You turned to grab the top shelf whiskey as he lifted a hand to push back his hair. He sighed deeply and hunched over as you placed a glass in front of him.

“He’s my sister’s.” Kenny admitted quietly. “She’s… Died. I’ve got him for tonight. At least.” His words sent a cold but quick shock down your spine. “One step better than government housing or wherever.” You recovered quickly even though his openness had left you grasping at straws for what to say next. It wasn’t like him to give away so much information.

“I’m sorry.” you’d said, resting your hands on your workbench, then after a few long moments added, “What’s his name?”

“Levi.”

The boy lifted his eyes at the sound of his name, but otherwise didn’t move from his now highly converted bowl of nuts. From the way his hands cradled the bowl, it didn’t look like he’d be sharing them anytime soon. You looked at him, properly, and saw nothing but how sad he must be feeling.

You didn’t know Kenny well, but you knew him. Enough to know that he was not someone friendly enough for some kid who just lost his mum - whether he was their uncle or not. But could you do about it? You weren’t exactly the mothering type either.

Thunder cracked in the not-too-far distance as you poured the boy another glass of water.

You hadn’t seen Kenny for a week.

That was unusual mostly because the longest he’d gone without frequenting your bar was about three days. If you’d known his address, you would’ve visited just to make sure he hadn’t died while looking after his nephew.

When he finally showed up, you almost didn’t notice him. If it wasn’t for him tapping the bar - a way of asking for a whiskey on the rocks that only he used - he would’ve completely flown under your radar on that busy Saturday night.

“And where’ve you been?” you’d asked during a moment's calm while the other bartender poured drinks.

He looked up at you, slighting his hat up with a pointed finger so he could meet your eyes. He had been so quiet - and he looked so tired. It was no wonder you barely noticed him when he was so out of character.

“What, missed me didcha?” But the snark didn’t reach his eyes.

“Where’s the kid?”

“At home.” he mumbled into his glass, tipping it up and drinking half in one go. When he met your eyes again you raised an eyebrow. “Not alone - I’m not that stupid sweetheart.”

“I’m five minutes from the end of my shift. Buy me a drink.”

“No thanks.” He scoffed at you.

“That wasn’t a question.” You said, starting to turn away, “Kahlua with vodka, thanks.”

Going back to work, you kept an eye on him. Watching as he downed the rest of his drink in (again) one go. He got the attention of the other bartender, ordering another whiskey, and a kahlua with vodka.

When you returned to the front of the bar after ditching your apron, you found Kenny sitting with his back towards you at a table near a window, with both drinks before him.

“Didn’t think you’d actually listen to me asking for a drink.” you said, patting his shoulder as you came around to sit at the seat across. He smiled a little - but it was nothing like the wide wolfish grins you normally saw.

“You weren’t askin’, remember?”

“You didn’t have to listen.” you said, sipping on your drink and taking a proper moment to look him over. “You look horrible by the way.”

“Jesus, thanks sweetheart.” he said into his glass - but took a much smaller mouthful of his drink compared to before, “You know how to make an old man’s night.”

“The kid’s been putting you through the ringer, huh?” His eyes met yours and you saw his shoulders slump - barely.

“That obvious?” he asked. When you nodded he sighed, slumping back in his seat with his hands ruling over his face and into his hair under his hat - his gangly legs stretched so far under the table that they slid between yours. “He’s a downright brat. It’s ridiculous. Karma has it out for me, I can see it now.”

“It surely isn’t that bad, you might just need to get used to it - it’s barely been a week -”

“I found him standing behind me in the kitchen holding a bread knife.” Kenny said, leaning forward on his elbows to whisper. “I think he wants to kill me.”

“He wouldn’t be the first.” you said, taking your turn to speak into your glass while you drank.

“I’m serious.”

“So am I.” you scoffed, setting the glass down again, “But after two years, I think I don’t want that so much - just give him time.”

“You seriously trying to persuade me that an eight year old who hates me doesn’t want me dead?”

“‘You seriously trying to persuade me that an eight year old who hates me does want you dead’? Listen to yourself Kenny.” You said, mocking him, but making him think seriously at once. “He’s lost his mum, you’re not so cold to think a boy would want to lose another relative again so quickly.”

You felt his legs shift between yours - they pulled away, but not enough. You could still feel the warmth of his calf press against yours. “Anyways, with how you wave your pocket knife around so - he might’ve just been trying to copy you.”

“Right,” he said, lifting his glass to his lips and casting a long glance out the window. “Kids do that, don’t they?” The conversation entered a lull as you both took turns sipping your drinks and staring at the lake lapping at the jetty. A comfortable silence if you ever knew one.

The air around you changed as the jukebox started a familiar riff of AC/DC. “She was a fast machine, she kept her motor clean. She was the best damn woman that I ever seen.”

Kenny looked at you, downed his drink, then spoke.

“Wanna take me up on that ride tonight?” he asked. You broke out in a grin.

It was still warm outside, and the gravel car park crunched under your feet as Kenny led you to his bike.

There was a thrill sitting hot and heavy in your gut. The fact you had said yes to Kenny to a ride home - perhaps more. Did you want more? He was attractive, in an older man sort of way, and despite all the gross things he could say sometimes he was still a nice enough guy.

Heaven knows you could both use a chance to get laid.

“I was starting to wonder how much longer I had to work on you before you finally said yes.” he said, breaking away from your slide to throw a leg over the seat with a grin. His hand outstretched to offer help to get on behind him. “Lucky for you, I'm a patient man.”

As you slid your hand into his, you climbed on - soon finding that in order to be comfortable you needed to be pressed quite close to his back. But you were feeling like being a tease too.

“Maybe I’ve liked making you wait.” you hummed, chin pressed to his shoulder as you spoke into his ear. You felt him chuckle under your palms as he kicked the engine into gear.

“Maybe I’ve liked waiting.” he said over the machine’s roar.

#modern au #kenny ackerman x reader #kenny ackerman x you #aot x reader #snk x reader #aot x you #snk x you #attack on titan x reader

55 notes · View notes

libbee · 1 year

Text

Devotion and Worship

It is a tragedy to be born with the planet of romantic love (venus) in the house of the subconscious mind (8). A primal instinct (sex) combined with the basic unit of humanity (romantic relationship) placed in the hidden and the unknown. You were born because your mom and dad made love, that love ... is venus. Now take the essence of your life and put it somewhere hidden. Every time you get into a relationship, your psychological contents are shaken, highlighted, brought to the surface. Deal with them endlessly.

Devotion to love is something you learned before you learned to talk. You knew you were a romantic, a devotee shall I say? Love was not just a formality or to-do act for you, love was life itself. It was breathing, thinking, eating, sleeping, dreaming. You were *that* girl.

Why Devotion?

She was quite a devotee. All she had ever wanted was to put a man on a pedestal and worship him - not the man himself but his image, an archetype, an ideal, an emotion, a perfect masculine image that he generated in her. Merely worshipping him was enough validation and approval of her existence. Maybe it was her low self esteem that she saw herself as a very small person that had to worship someone greater than herself. Maybe it was her intense emotional complex that was so deep that she would get lost in it. Maybe it was her spiritual nature that she did not want a man but she wanted God itself.

But the Twist

While it sounds very romantic and poetic to devote yourself to a man, it does not work out like that in real life. Especially with Venus in 8H or scorpio, the kind of romantic relationship they attract are reverse of their expectation. The man (Jupiter) they attract is not the kind of imaginary God they expect, not the kind of fairy tale in movies. The pattern for these women is that they attract the kind of men who are somewhat mystic, psychic, controlling, working from a place of psychological senstivity. These are the men that do not want to be worshipped but instead reverse the cards and worship the woman instead.

It means that they have romantic situations where both parties want to worship each other or at least has the psychological desire to. So, who will worship and who be worshipped? Man or the woman? Let the man worship, that way both parties are content. Otherwise the woman keeps chasing man after man, sometimes the games are played differently.

Logic

It appears to me that when venus is placed in 8th house, romantic relations become a tool for healing. It is how Venus 8h destroys herself and rebuilds after every crush/situationship/break up is over. As if "Devotion to you is finished, now onto someone else but I will kill a part of myself for you, it is my offering to you". Here, Venus is a catalyst for healing, change, emotions, intuition, psychic abilities. A relationship is an invitation door to psychic affairs, here the native is constantly dealing with the emotions, transformations and the unconscious.

They do not get into relationship for status symbol or to make friend with their boyfriend or to admire looks and material wealth. They get into relationship so that the boyfriend can dissect their souls for them, they can dive into the psychic realms and be rescused, only to dive again and again.

Sometimes romantic love feels like being a fish in the waters of the unconscious. The most self aware state caused by relationship. All planets have spiritual significance and so does venus. Venus in 8th house is like navigating the relationship in psychic levels. Enlightenment comes when you trace the pattern of failed expectations and realize that the kind of man you attract has specific psychic qualities, like a hunter, he is driven by his insecurities, instincts, complexes and never satisfied self esteem. If you surrender yourself to him, he will be manipulative and controlling. But if you withdraw your powers and let him surrender to you, you can be the manipulative and controlling one. This is the most difficult kind of relationship because you always have to be alert of the psychic movements of your boyfriend -- what is he thinking, what are his intentions, is he feeling insecure and suspicious?

Usually these ladies are not intentionally manipulative and controlling especially after maturity and spiritual awakening. They accept the man's devotion as an offering and sit on the throne.

But ladies, what about your own devotion?

In the early tumblr days when I joined, I stumbled upon a post that read "Scorpio Venus should just be a polymath, use that insatiable intensity in other means and not just invest all of it in a man..." Venus does not rule studies but it does rule creativity, beauty, art, music, artistic talents, appreciation for beauty. Also in psychic realms, symbolism has a significant merit for the exploration and expression of what is unconscious, unknown and hidden. What does not have a language it is expressed in symbols and art.

It is a difficult lesson I too learned as a Venus in 8H lady by realizing that my particular placement and similar placements to this need to abide by rule that "Man needs to love the woman more for the relationship to work out". But to reach this point of emotional self control, even I had to go through many trials and mental rewiring. I would relapse many times to my devotee state until the repeated relapse made the self control easier.

Sometimes, we have to act opposite to our natural core impulses to make a relationship work. I know that the expected personality archetype of these natives is to "Ride or die, Wear their lover's skin, Soul lover", but in practical life it is not feasible for woman to be so emotional and devotional. It is only her loss because the low self esteem man she usually attracts will feel stagnated, he wants to be challenged and prove his worth to her. Low self esteem does not mean low value man. This lady attracts people with significant past trauma, dark childhood stories, the unhealed sensitive lover -- perhaps that is why she is a healer. Her man can heal but keep your boundaries too.

#astro #astro community #astro notes #astro observations #astro placements #astroblr #astrology #astro tumblr #astrology blog #astrology community #astrology notes #astrology observations #astrology tumblr #astronotes #sidereal astrology #vedic astrology #venus in 8th house

117 notes · View notes

museumgiftshoperaser · 11 months

Text

only bought this dress so you could take it off

(lil Ronance modern AU, neighbors kinda thing)

Robin’s already in pajamas when someone knocks on her door. And by pajamas she means she’s wearing boxers and a bleach stained shirt she stole from Steve. So she’s not exactly thrilled to get up. And why should she anyway? Sunday nights are sacred, especially now that classes started back up. It’s the one night of the week where Steve’s gone for basketball practice and she can watch whatever she wants on the TV in the living room. She loves Steve, platonic soulmates and all that jazz, but she can’t for the life of her get him to enjoy the wonders of competitive cooking shows. Like right now. A woman on the screen tilts a skillet over the fire, cooking a steak to absolute perfection as Robin pops another handful of M&Ms into her mouth. It’s quality entertainment. If she gets up now, she might miss something important. What if that woman overcooks her steak? Maybe if she keeps quiet the person will just go away. “I can hear the TV!” the voice comes through the wall, too muffled to recognize. “I need some help!” And then, after a short silence. “Please?” She rolls herself off the couch with a groan, doesn’t even care if the mystery guest can hear it. She runs a quick hand through her hair to make herself somewhat presentable opens the door and- Oh fuck. It’s her. Nancy. Their new next door neighbor and coincidentally the most beautiful person she’s ever laid eyes on. Robin clutches the doorpost so hard it hurts because her elevator crush is two feet away from her, dressed in deep blue, skintight satin. Nancy’s hair is pinned to the side and she’s holding her strapless dress up at the neckline. “Can you zip me?” she asks with a sheepish grin. “I’m running late and I’m all by myself.” Her heels make them almost the same height, but Nancy is still an inch short, leaving her to look up at Robin through her thick, black lashes. She doesn’t usually wear this much make-up. Wherever she’s going, she’s trying to impress someone. When Robin doesn’t speak, Nancy turns her back, revealing a long stretch of exposed skin. The zipper goes all the way down to her lower back. There’s a little mole next to her spine, which is a thing that Robin knows about her now, and it feels far too intimate. “Uh sure…” she mumbles. “Just… What do you…?” “It’s just a zipper, Robin.” Nancy’s back is turned, but she can hear the grin is her voice. “I’m you can figure it out.” She swallows hard. Nancy knows her name. Of course she does. They’ve talked a handful of times when they happened to enter the lobby at the same time. She came to introduce herself when she moved in last month. Still it’s weird that she takes up any mental real estate for this girl so beautiful it physically hurts. Robin takes the end of the zipper between two careful fingers, but it doesn’t budge. “It’s a bit finicky,” Nancy says and she tilts her head to the side, exposing even more of the bare skin around her neck. “Just give it a good tug.” Fucking hell. Robin places a hand on Nancy’s waist for leverage and zips the dress along the curve of her spine. She’s not wearing a bra, strapless and all, and Robin’s trying really hard not to think about that. “So where are you going?” she asks and then she just keeps talking. “You got a date? A boyfriend?” She clenches her jaw and crosses her fingers that didn’t sound weird. Just polite conversation. Making acquaintance. Right? “Oh, God no.” Nancy turns around and smooths down the fabric over her hips. “I have yet to find a man in this city worth dressing up for.” “Tell me about it,” Robin says in a lame attempt at a joke. Nancy no doubt has different reasons for her lack of interest in the men around these parts. Like being objectively out of everyone’s league. Unlike Robin, who realized she was a lesbian back in middle school and hasn’t looked at a man since. Well, she’s technically looked at Steve, if you wanna get literal about it. But he doesn’t count. That’s practically her brother. “Nah, I’ve got a work thing,” Nancy says and she rolls her eyes. “Office party I can’t really skip.” Robin vaguely remembers an elevator conversation where Nancy told her she worked in publishing. “Well, you look great,” she squeaks. Nancy smiles, showing off the dimples that kickstarted the elevator crush all those weeks ago. “You’re so sweet.” She doesn’t even break eye contact as she says it. Robin can feel her cheeks flush and she mentally prepares herself to scream into her pillow the second this door closes. “Which reminds me,” Nancy adds with a coy smile. “I have a little housewarming coming up next Friday. You and uh…. Steve was it?” Robin nods. “Well, you and Steve are definitely invited.” For a brief moment, Nancy’s eyes flick past her so she can sneak a glance into the living room. “Starts at eight, be sure to ask him too.” Oh. Was that her goal? Was she hoping Steve would answer? That makes sense. “We’d love to,” Robin says with a polite smile. “I’ll tell Steve, I think he’s free that night.” Nancy runs her hands along her sides one more time, smoothing down the already flawless curve of her dress. “That’d be lovely,” she says and before she turns she adds; “Can’t wait.”

#stranger things #ronance #robin buckley #nancy wheeler #no clue where this came from #but suddenly it was written #might give it a little sequal at some point #nancy knows what she's doing #i cannot be held responsible for what i write after listening to dress by taylor swift

83 notes · View notes

chaifootsteps · 7 months

Note

So, I caught sight of the ‘Jan 2024 release’ preview for Hazbin Hotel and here are a few things on my mind:

1. Amazon Prime… ugh! More money in another unscrupulous person’s pocket, aka. Bezos. I can’t be the only one who shrugs and never gets around to actually bothering with Prime to watch anything. Hazbin might actually just sit there for a few years more for me and not just because it’s on Prime. Because…

2. Is it just me, or has the quality of the animation gone down? I was impressed by the preview gif where Alastor is laughing because I loved the inclusion of the ‘mock-cel animation shadow’, but that little nod seems to have disappeared. The backgrounds in many of these scenes seem devoid of other beings, and that’s odd to say Hell is supposedly overcrowded. On top of that, the animation played a little oddly on my eyes in places - namely Charlie spinning Vaggie around and Alastor twisting to face Husk. It’s as if… the characters are off-model or something. Overall, watching it over to make sure I wasn’t going mad, it just seems like a mixed bag. But characters floating in large, unpopulated spaces really bugs me.

3. There’s a scene that really killed my eyes, and it’s towards the end where all the overlords are in a board meeting. We see Rosie, Alastor and some of the overlords from the pilot; including Carmine, the two women who collect angelic weapons, and the lizard lady from the bar (where the lizard guy says “Is this chick for real? She thinks, she thinks! Ha ha! She’s nuts.”), likely talking about getting more angelic weapons as there’s an anti-angel/extermination message on the board. The character designs in this scene are just so. Damn. Bad! I am getting major emo DeviantART in the early 2010’s vibes, and sparkle dog furry attacks, because every single one of them looks like an eye-sore OC that a teenage artist comes up with early in their artistic journey.

And then there are the voices from the leaks. I wish, so damn hard, that they were just placeholder voices, but why would you risk animating to the timing of a different recording? If Alastor and Lucifer sound that bland, something has died since the pilot. Probably quality… again.

At this point, I just think that Vivziepop is in her ‘peak period’ where she’s just lording over what she thinks is her having ‘made it’. But I swear, the way things are looking, it’s just downhill for her from here. The integrity is gone!

x Taxidermy Anon

That's really it at the end of the day...the integrity is gone, and maybe it was never really there at all.

The show we all loved wasn't the animation quality or even the story, but the end result of a lot of smaller artists and voice actors and even fan-animators bringing Hunicast scenes to life. It was the love that was there. Take all that away and you've just got Vivzie, a petty, cruel little person with a lot of money and rich grandparents who know people.

It won't last forever. It's just a question of when and how, and whether that downhill slide is something that's just started or something we're in the middle of.

#Anonymous #vivziepop critical #hazbin hotel critical #critical #actual blog post #taxidermy anon

30 notes · View notes

ficbrish · 24 days

Text

Part of my Flufftober Spring one shot collection

"The Pale Elves"

cw: Sickness, teasing, cptsd

Tav Vistri, Shadow-Cursed Lands, near the end of Act II

“You look a little pale.”

“Rich. Coming from you,” Vistri chortled.

It was true, Astarion’s skin was a colorless white. It used to shine with the kiss of the sun, but then he died, and in rising again, kept death’s pallor. Vistri didn’t have much room to talk though. She had a lavender, periwinkle sort of tone, which was rather light for a drow.

But even more so tonight. Her coloring was different, more silver than purple.

Which, in turn, colored his response. Usually he’d play along, tease her for being just as pale as he was. Instead, Astarion fretted over her with a surprising amount of concern. He didn’t consider himself to be a particularly empathetic person, and yet here he was, hurting at even the prospect of her discomfort. Worrying like a mother hen! It was wrong. All of this was wrong.

“No, I mean it,” he said, “Are you feeling all right?”

“I’m fine,” she insisted.

No more than a second later, she sneezed.

There was a handkerchief dangling in her face when Vistri opened her eyes; a frowning Astarion at the other end. Grudgingly, she snatched it out his hands, furious at her sinuses for their poorly-timed betrayal.

No one ever passed her silk scarves from their pockets when she needed one. His thoughtfulness landed in her heart like a burn on frozen skin. He also wasn’t allowed to be right. They were in the midst of the Shadow Curse Lands, hot on the tail of those Absolute cultists. Of course, she’d rather stay at camp and rest! Her muscles ached to the bone, and the power of the curse this close to Moonrise made her head pound. Grumbling, she blew her nose with an unfortunate honk.

“What in the hells was that?!” Astarion asked, laughing.

Come to think of it, he’d never seen Vistri blow her nose before. Such a normal thing. He wasn’t prepared for her to do it so abnormally.

“What?” she asked, genuinely confused, having lived with that sound her whole life.

“It’s like a…” his laughter cut off his words, “Like a fucking foghorn! What is that?”

Offended, she answered, “I’m blowing my nose!”

Astarion fell back, laughing, into his bedroll. He tried to right himself, but this newly discovered quality of hers kept him too weak to sit up.

“It’s not funny!” she pouted.

“Yes!” he was struggling to speak normally, “Yes, it is!”

He was lucky his uncontrollable laughter was so precious to Vistri. It made it almost not matter that it was at her expense. Almost. Her pride still prickled, hardening the casing of her chest. But he broke it so easily. The sound of his beloved laugh lifted her heart, like a hearth roaring on a snowy night.

She tried her best to sound serious, “Keep that up and maybe I’ll start feeling less generous.”

“You don’t mean that!” he chuckled warmly, crawling his way back to a sitting position.

“Yes,” she crossed her arms, “I do!”

“No, please!”

Even the affectation of anxiety and regret in Astarion’s voice tugged painfully at her heart. She leaned in and kissed the side of his head, whispering, “You know I could never deny you.”

His remaining giggles stilled into a soft, happy smirk.

“You couldn’t?”

“Never, ever.”

“Well…” He paused, stopping himself from admitting something painfully sincere. Then continued with a teasing brow, his tone changed, “I’ll have to remember to take advantage of that, won’t I?”

Vistri leveled her brow with his, “I thought we were learning how not to take advantage of each other.”

“Ugh! You’re quite right,” he pouted, then cheekily bent his frown into a warm smile.

They joked around about it, but theirs was a sacred promise. An experiment.

Is love real?

Are they worthy of it?

Wrapping her arms around Astarion’s neck, she purred, “That doesn’t mean you have to keep your hands off me.”

He chuckled softly and drew her in closer, holding her tighter. Caressing her nose with his, he savored the lightness in his head at her proximity. His nose flicked hers aside, tilting her head up to align her lips with his, leaning forward to gently meet them.

This was the new world they were exploring. One where they kissed for the sake of a kiss.

She felt his hands cradle the back of her neck. Everything in her relaxed. Tensions she didn’t know she held suddenly let go into his embrace.

“Lucky us,” he spoke against her ear.

#vistarion #tav x astarion #astarion x tav #wip wednesday #baldurs gate 3 #bg3 #BrishFics #astarion #astarion ancunin #fluff

19 notes · View notes

word-wytch · 6 months

Text

My thoughts on Flight of Icarus (so far!)

I finally got my hands on the book yesterday and also had time to read which hasn’t happened in a very hot minute.

These are just my first impressions, commentary, and takeaways from chapters 1-9.

More will come, but I am realizing that I have so much to say that I need to break it up ✨

I will start off by saying that I was skeptical, as all of us were, when this book was announced. Prior to reading it, I had been steering clear of spoilers and others’ reactions just so that I could go in completely unbiased and with an open mind and heart.

Within the first 10 pages, I was crying. Like, openly weeping. Something about Eddie talking first person about his childhood experiences and confirming what so many of us suspected hit me so suddenly. I was not prepared for the swell of emotions that bubbled over as a result of not only that, but reading his name printed on a real, hard bound book when I've only ever read it from a screen was something else as well. Something about it being officially licensed by ST and providing us with some concrete backstory (if we choose to take it) for so many things that we've been only speculating on for the last year and a half.

These are a few snippets that really had me going:

Anyway, I'm broken.

Onto the writing --

I genuinely think what I've read so far has been incredibly well-written. The first person narration sounds so much like Eddie, as does the dialogue. The insights and ways he describes things cleverly but also with that touch of dark humor that he deflects with so often is very present. I do feel like I'm stepping into his curly noggin and viewing the world through his bambi eyes. It's such a treat.

Also, I have noticed her using many words that he frequently uses in his limited dialogue on the show in her narration, the main one I can think of right now being "not exactly". It's touches like these that let me know how closely she's paying attention.

I am also impressed with the general quality of prose, how she seamlessly integrates setting and character description into the scene. Also clever and creative ways to describe objects that still stay very in character. This one stands out:

Also this. This hyper-awareness that his home life is different than his peers, something I try to illustrate in my own writing and appreciate that this author did as well:

As a writer, I learn so much from reading. I can honestly say that I am learning from this experience as well, and dare I say it, am inspired.

The chapter I am working on now for DSSCTM deals heavily with similar themes and questions that FOI covers, such as Eddie's motivations for staying in school, his relationship to his dad, and how he views himself. So I feel a lucky sense of coincidence that this book was released during the time I am writing it. I, like everyone else, invented my own backstory for his parents that suited the story I was trying to tell and will keep it for consistency going forward.

Characters that stuck out to me --

Gareth -- OH. MY GOD. BABY GARETH. Little fluffy ball of rage. I cannot. My heart is going to explode fr. Also the tenderness with which Eddie handles him is just too much for me.

Ronnie -- Stan her. You know, this character really makes me wonder how much of our fics the author has read because I feel like it is one of the most common and earliest tropes for our Reader characters to be best friends of his that grew up in the trailer park along side him. Maybe it's just an obvious trope? But interesting she included it. Also making her the book-smart one who's got a golden ticket out is another very common thing I see in our stories.

Chrissy -- I love the bit of backstory I've read so far and how sympathetic she writes her. I love that we get the whole scene of them before the talent show and them bonding for a short moment.

Al -- There aren't enough words for how big a piece of shit this man is. When he said this to Wayne I almost yeeted my book across the room. Nobody talks to Wayne Munson like this in my house. 😤

Paige -- Eh. Not sold tbh. Although I do appreciate reading through Eddie's first person narration about him having a crush on someone though. It's cute. Just the crush part, not Paige specifically. She's mid so far.

Principal Higgins -- I had to suspend my disbelief a bit for how strong he came on tbh. I mean, I think she made a somewhat believable case for his absolutely unhinged behavior but it still struck me as borderline unbelievable how Higgins spoke to Eddie like that. What it did confirm for me was something I had suspected from the beginning, which is that Eddie's dad never graduated high school. Also, I appreciate the question being asked about why he is still in school BUT my issue is that this question isn't as applicable in his first senior year as it is in his third. I think the author was trying to find a reason for Higgins to be asking it and had to dig a little to try and make it believable. It's a question I have asked myself, one that I had Teach ask him in the first chapter of DSSCTM, and one I will be exploring in ch. 16.

One final theme-related thing I noticed and appreciate:

How chapter 4 ends with his dad telling him to sleep on the idea of pulling off a heist with him and chapter 5 begins with "The question is pretty simple. At the end of the day, who do you want to be?" and proceeds to a scene of him building a character with Gareth. Likewise in real life, Eddie is figuring out who he wants to be, and I think using this as a metaphor is really clever and beautiful.

ALSO. A theory. Illian died right? Illian wasn't Gareth's he was Jeff's. What if this is alluding to the possibility of another character we all know and love who supposedly died in canon to be able to come back and re-invent themselves? 👀

Could just be my delusional ass reading into this way too much but it was just a thought I had.

Anyway, onward. ✨

#flight of icarus #eddie munson #stranger things #please tell me your thoughts!!#I wanted to just have a place to dump all mine but also want to start a dialogue!

24 notes · View notes

morskisir · 3 months

Note

i'm really curious why you dislike the comics? /genq /nm

ooooh the dreaded question. i can get really passionate about this (i care too much) so i'm going to be as brief and simple as i can. i'm aware many people enjoy the comics and that's fine. /gen you do you. like i said; i care too much

IMPORTANT DISCLAIMER: we have no clue how much time or dedication was given to the comics by valve; the poor writing isn't necessarily the fault of the writers and i have no personal beef with them! with that said, old man yells at cloud /ref under read more/keep reading.

the two main gripes i have with the comics are lack of planning and tone problems.

as i already said, the lack of planning- and therefore the poor writing- does not mean the comic team was incompetent (the art is quite good a lot of the time, actually), but this does mean it severely hurts the quality of the comics themselves. it's clear they aren't sure where they're taking this (as evident by whatever the fuck is going on with helen) and what the story is even supposed to mean. the tone goes hand in hand with the poor planning; the comics aren't sure whether they want to be purely comical and action-focused or a DARK comedy; having serious moments and themes in the story.

in the end, the serious moments come off as either manipulative (iykyk. i am not getting angry about this for 40 minutes again) or as if they're being made fun of (cough cough sniper).

they also struggle to really build up those moments, so sometimes it feels as if they just came out of nowhere. it's really jarring.

there's also just. not a lot of conflict between the main cast?? there isn't a lot of pressure put on pauling from the mercs via questioning her actions, etc. (we only slightly get this from spy. but like once) (i get that it's to show how much trust they have in her but, really? not a single thing?) (this could build up to like. a "grand betrayal" sort of thing but yknow. they didnt think about the build up to anything)

this is why i think making it JUST the RED team really hurts the story- they already have set dynamics and don't need to develop or sort through any conflicts they have with one another. medic only has conflict with sniper of all people. MEDIC. who went to join another team which was actively hunting his previous one.

the comics introduce conflict and new dynamics by straight up making up new characters?? as much as i love zhanna- she was primarily put into the story just to be soldier's love interest and have a fun dynamic with him.... i'm so sorry miss.

they could've done that with demo btw?? since demo and soldier are supposed to be friends?? unless actually the team differences DO matter (which the comics do not make clear at all, engie is randomly blue while the rest are red. okay. why? wouldn't you like to know.) so red soldier and red demo dont bounce off of eachother as much as blu soldier and red demo do.

i'm not formatting this at all but remember the poor planning? ahem. sniper timeline. why did you make him barely 30. i will fucking kill you he was always clearly meant to be, look, and sound like an old man. its in his concept art its in how he talks. raghghgh

they keep giving themselves problems by adding new characters cause then the main fucking mercs who people adore get no time for themselves (demo, pyro, scout, engie) they're just kinda......there. it sucks. but it's what we got, i guess. just how canon the comics are is questionable- but i don't care if they are.

it's free real estate i'm doing my own thing!!!!!!!!!!! fuck around find out!!!!! be gay do crime!!!!!!! *gets arrested by valve for tampering with copyrighted material*

anyways, after all that negativity; shoutout to the only stuff i enjoyed from the comics: pauling, heavy, the art. goob byeeeeeeee

#ask #read at your own risk i guess- i do end up typing one trullon words #i can go into more detail but i won't. for the sake of my sanity. and i think many wouldn't like it either #edit: the one-shots are better. they're fun

12 notes · View notes

kakashiislut · 8 months

Text

Criminal Minds

Inspired by Heartbeat By childish Gambino cause that song makes me dance wildly like no one is watching. ❤️

“So what you’re saying…The Unsub is attracted to women like…Y/N.” Hotch Puckered his lips a bit, everyone’s eyes where suddenly on you. “M-Me?!” You raised your eyebrows. “I mean, look at them. They have the exact same qualities as you do” JJ shifted her focus to the 4 victims stuck on the dry erase Board. You grew quiet for a second, it’s true, all the women have the same features as you do. The hair, the eyes, the lips, the personality and face shape too. “And with this note…” Spence cleared his throat, “seems like he’ll be at XXX club, wearing a red tie…looking for fresh victims…”

“He’s playing games with us. He’s growing angry, wants us to know what he’s doing…he wants to spite us for ignoring him in the media” Morgan lifted himself up and off the table and played with the pen between his fingers. “He wants a victim, give him Y/N then.” Woah woah. WOAH. “Woahhhhh, who said I would do that?!” Gideon shook his head slowly, “I have a plan already” His eyes seemed to bore into something nonexistent and you cleared your throat hesitantly. “Ok.”

“Ugh, This Dress won’t zip- JJ!” Sticking your back out from the dressing room door, JJ came rushing over to help zip up your dress. “Okay…let’s see!!!” She seemed so giddy for something so dangerous. As she backed up to stand with everyone, you fixed your hair, before walking out of the room. There was a silence, before Morgan whistled loudly. You giggled softly and everyone bursted into chatter about how you looked. “Spencer keep staring or take a picture” Elle laughed gently, causing the boy to turn red and look away.

“Okay, let’s go over the plan again. Y/N, we will filter in the club and go separately in different ways. Hotch will take the upper decks, Reid and Morgan will stay in the back, JJ will nurse the bar and Elle will wait by the women’s bathrooms. You, My dear, will make a scene on the dance floor and wait for our unsub to approach you. REMEMBER! He has to notice you, not anyone else, once he has you, Lead him away and we got him.” Gideon gave you a soft smile “we’ll be close, don’t worry. Lemme have your gun”

Groaning, you handed him your holster and gun, mumbling something about how dangerous this could be. At least the police are hiding around the clubs entrance.

When you arrived, the loud sound of music and cheering distracted you for a moment, before you existed the car and made your way inside the club. You tried to find some sort of song that could get you going, but nothing seemed to work. “You okay?” Hotch’s voice filtered into your ear “fine..gonna talk to the DJ real quick.”

Making your way to the DJ, you leaned in and suggested a song, to which he nodded his head and in second’s the music switched up. The crowed cheered, so you made your way into the middle and started moving your body to the beat. The words “make a scene” kept bothering you, so you did. A big scene. You danced wildly to the music, hips swaying, arms in the air, you listened to the way the crowd cheered for you, making space. In the moment you felt silly, but…it’s not so bad. You added a bit of sultry dance moves, giving the crowd “fuck me eyes” as you tried to pinpoint any men wearing red ties.

Running your hands up and down your body, you swished your hair around and…bingo. A tall, scary looking, but handsome man was making his way to you. He watched you like he was trying to profile you. Ironic. Once the song ended, you breathed harshly, making your way to the bar, you sat a couple seats away from JJ and simply…waited.

“Hey…I seen you dancing up there and wow…you where amazing…and beautiful” fluttering your eyelashes up, there he was. Your possible unsub. You gave him a pretty smile and offered him a seat. In an instance, the man was touching up on you, breathing in your scent and flirting. “Pull him in more.” Hotch whispered in your ear and you turned to the man, holding his tie “wanna go somewhere private?” You teased.

“Fuck, stay still pretty girl” he groaned into your neck. You where currently pressed up aganist his black SUV, the windows tinted, he was laying harsh, gross and sloppy kisses and bites to your neck. Come on…just need some DNA.

Your eyes fluttered up and…Reid. You locked eyes with reid, he gave you a sad look, face a bit red, before Gideon came up behind him. “FBI! Get off the girl!”

“Holy shit!! I can’t believe we caught him!!!” Morgan laughed loudly on the plane ride home, “it was just Chance…the DNA on Y/Ns necked matched the DNA left on the women.” You sighed, covering your eyes a bit, before the sudden sound of the song filled your ears. “What?” Lifting your head up, Hotch had everyone around him staring at his phone. Getting up, you walked right over and your heart dropped. “HOTCH!” You screamed, the video was of you dancing wildly to the music.

“What kind of dance moves even are these?!” Elle laughed, holding her tummy. “THEYRE GOTHIC, ITS ALL I COULD COME UP WITH! PLUS! I was a goth/punk kid in highschool OMGG” You covered your face in embarrassment “I-I think it’s cute! I mean like, the gothic style match’s Y/N so well! Ya know, it was a pretty common dance style in the 1850s and the 80s-90s! It’s just amazing she knows these!” Spencer tried to protect you from the teams teasing and you smiled a bit at him “thank you” leaning in, you pressed a sweet kiss to his temple. “NOW DELETE IT! BEFORE I BECOME THE UNSUB!”

“Technically, since we know who you are, you wouldn’t- OWW OWW OKAY ILL DELETE IT-“

#send me asks #yes yes yes #fan fic writing #fan fic requests #fan fic stuff #fan fic reading #fan fic asks #criminal minds #criminal minds fan fic #spencer reid #jason gideon #elle greenaway #aaron hotchner #y/n #fan fiction #Spencer Reid x you #spencer reid x y/n #derek morgan

23 notes · View notes

drudeger · 8 months

Text

Beyblade Burst Quadstrike Review

(spoiler warning for the entire show)

ok so let's talk quadstrike.

I think we can all acknowledge the low expectations we had for a hasbro produced season of the anime, and while the season definitely delivered on those expectations in some aspects, it also managed to surprise me with its quality in others.

Animation

let's start with the animation. the quality of the animation ranged from abysmal to passable for a large majority of the season, with the only really good animation being reused from previous seasons. that being said, in a couple of episodes, including the first and last, it was actually pretty good. overall, I'd say the quality was most comparable to that of the sixth season with only some episodes ever managing to surpass or dip below that.

Voice Acting

the voice work was great overall. the returning cast from quaddrive maintained a level of voice acting quality on par with that season, which is to say, pretty damn good and it’s a similar story for the returning cast from before quaddrive. you might expect the part of the cast returning from a 2+ year hiatus from their previous roles to need to readjust and settle back into performing their characters, but honestly most of them seemed perfectly comfortable jumping back into it with the only exceptions being xander and kit. both character voices definitely feel just slightly rusty, but considering the massive ~4 year real life time gap, you really can’t blame them and honestly they do a great job getting mostly settled back into their roles pretty quickly.

when it comes to the casting decisions made for quadstrike specifically, kieran regan was a great choice to portray a more grown-up and mature ken and he absolutely nailed the role. keru and besu’s voices were also just right, sounding like characters that are voiced by ken but are still distinct-sounding from him, and the quality of all three performances speaks to kieran’s skill.

anjali kunapaneni was practically perfect as pri, giving her a full voice that matches her character but doesn’t overdo it with shoutiness despite pri’s boisterous personality, balancing it out to accentuate the more cool outward appearance she tries to impress upon other bladers. they really bring a level of depth and nuance to their performance that gives pri a very real and unique voice and it was easily the best voice performance in the season.

darren delfin’s performance as pax is definitely a close second and his ability to portray character depth shows through a lot here with the subtle differences in tone when pax is being disingenuous (e.g. when he pretends to be happy about pri making friends) and when he genuinely wants to show appreciation and admiration (e.g. when he talks about his admiration for red eye.) honestly, I’d be lying if I said I’d caught any of this on first watch. it’s just not the sort of depth I believed I had any reason to look out for. the only reason I say it was the second best performance and not the first is because the accent feels awkward and it doesn’t sound quite right, an unfortunately important skill gap when you’re asked to voice a character with a foreign accent.

Plot

the plot itself was. ok. plot points were arranged in a sensible enough order and it almost never managed to feel too forced. except for the part where pax just calls aiga up on his phone and THAT'S how they decided to have pax challenge aiga? and absolutely nobody questions how pax got his number?? I literally laughed out loud when that happened like bro what??? 😭😭 also that one part in the finale where we get a somewhat dramatic shot with some random fucking kid and get absolutely zero explanation????? aside from these (admittedly incredibly weird) oddities, the plot was ultimately unengaging but passable. there really just isn't a lot to say about it due to its overall lack of substance.

Story

but if you asked me to describe what quadstrike is actually about — its story — I'd tell you it's a story about a bunch of kids running around with highly marketable toys. which sounds comically cynical but, despite its best efforts, quadstrike struggles to be much more than that. although that isn’t to say I wasn’t pleasantly surprised by the unexpected amount of depth in some aspects of the writing.

Themes

the season has two themes, one of which is executed decently but neither being given the time or care needed to feel nearly as impactful as they could have.

Identity

the most prominent and complete of the themes is that of identity, which is explored through the season's secondary (arguably primary) protagonist, pri forsythe/quadra. the season introduces the foundations for this theme when quadra loses to drum in the abyssal tournament after taking off her mask. pax tells pri to keep her mask on in battle because it will increase her elemental power and make her strong and pri begins questioning if he's right. it was also revealed in a flashback that pax made the mask and when pri wears it, pax says she assumes an entirely different persona and becomes quadra. this poses to pri as well as the audience three questions: does pax know what’s best and should pri therefore listen to his instructions, allowing him to control what decisions she makes? are pri and qudra the same or different? if “becoming quadra” makes her stronger, should she be ok with being her when she battles?

the first question takes a backseat for a bit while the second and third questions are explored, although we see it reiterated as pri continues to battle without the mask.

we are introduced to one position for the last two questions when, during a flashback, pax says that pri becomes a different blader entirely when she assumes the identity of quadra during battle. the other position is introduced when pri asserts that it shouldn’t matter if she doesn't wear the mask because it’s still her battling regardless. the second position is built upon when ken’s mom explains to pri that keru and besu are a part of ken’s identity and pri restates the question later that night, asking herself if she’s pri or quadra. after she loses to ken, he gives her some advice — that quadra is her too. then, after her first loss to xander where she doesn’t wear the mask, pri finds a letter to her from ken that says "it doesn’t matter if the mask makes you stronger. you’re you with or without it, it doesn’t define you,” explicitly stating the answer to both questions. with all of this in mind, pri decides she’ll wear the mask for her rematch with xander and from now on will wear it in battle at her own discretion. so at this point in the story, the last two questions have been answered.

having pri’s decision be one that retains her agency is the strongest choice they could have made, but having ken spell out the answer for her, especially not even an episode after he gives her his advice, just feels bad, and it ends up feeling unearned since she’s given such little time to actually struggle with the question and deliberate on his advice or develop as a character before coming to the conclusion she does.

(tw: this section contains discussions of emotional manipulation and generally toxic behavior from a caretaker)

but that’s only two of three questions and now that the last two questions have been answered, we finally get to see the first question being explored — does pax know what’s best and should pri therefore listen to his instructions, allowing him to control what decisions she makes? during the battle camp, we learn that pax was forced to quit blading due to an injury and it was his dream to become a legend like valt. this, combined with previously revealed information as well as pax’s constant use of phrases like “our goal” and “our dream,” makes it clear that pri partially accepts the role of quadra for pax and this sets up another part to the first question: is it really ok that pri/quadra center her identity around a dream that isn’t completely her own? while she does have her own reasoning for wanting to battle, she wants to help pax in his goal to create the ultimate elemental bey which was the entire point of him making and having her use pandora, the mask and the quadra persona in the first place. it’s a driving force behind the question, as we see pri struggling between her want to do things her way and her want to make her brother happy and we constantly see them both grappling with the idea that if pax is happy, pri should be happy too because they're convinced that this is what they both want.

as the story continues, pax begins pushing even harder for pri to do things the way he wants. near the start of the battle camp, quadra uses lightning pandora when pax wants her to use tidal pandora. pax asks why and intuits it’s because of her loss to xander. he says that it doesn’t matter if she loses, everything is going according to “their” plan, and pri lashes out from her frustration that he won’t explain what the plan actually is and he snaps, yelling at her that she doesn’t need to understand everything going on and tells her to just do as he says and she hesitates for a moment before agreeing.

later, pax tries to get wakiya to withdraw pri from the tag-team tournament because he doesn’t like the possibility of bell influencing her. jiji gets pax to allow pri to continue participating in the tournament by showing how happy pri and bell are to be battling and says there’s no doubt the two will help make each other stronger. and while pax gives in, knowing he’d only come off as unreasonable had he protested further, it’s clear pax isn’t happy he wasn’t able to maintain full control of the conversation and therefore make the decision for pri. this scene is meant to show how pax thinks he knows what's best for pri and wants to convince not only pri but the people around her of that too.

later, during the tag-team tournament, pax convinces bell to try and win the next match all by himself and he loses the match for both himself and quadra. pri, having deduced that pax said something to provoke bell, confronts pax and he says pandora should be battling on its own and the tournament is a waste of time. this upsets pri greatly and she runs from him. this scene is meant to establish pri beginning to realize pax might not have her best interests in mind.

then, aiga shows up to hell’s gate and challenges pri and bell to a 2-on-1 battle, and if they win he’ll battle them both individually. before she makes a decision, she calls pax and he says she doesn’t have to accept any team battles she’s challenged to, but she retorts that aiga will battle her individually anyway if she and bell can win. pax, not-so-kindly, tells pri to do what she wants before hanging up. this is actually a common tactic of highly controlling and manipulative people where they basically say “you don’t need me, so do whatever and see what happens when I’m not there to tell you what to do,” usually under the guise of wanting what’s best for the victim so when something does go wrong, the victim feels obligated to go back to them. she battles aiga with bell and without her mask and they end up losing. everything pax has done so far has been to convince pri to give up her individuality for the sake of achieving “their” goal, and quadra losing this battle is exactly what pax wanted to happen so she’d feel obligated to listen to him.

after the first couple of rounds in the champion challenge tournament and the first individual battle is announced as kit vs quadra, pax confronts pri and tells her she must win against aiga and that everything will work out if she just listens to him and she once again agrees. during the match, wakiya and valt explain to aiga pax’s situation and valt posits that pri took up pandora and the identity of quadra to carry on pax’s dream of becoming a legend. aiga restates the thematic question, asking if that’s what quadra wants and explains that he couldn’t ever see himself blading for the sake of someone else’s dream. after quadra loses, pax confronts her and tells her pandora should have won and that the reason they lost was because quadra chose a flawed strategy. aiga goes out of his way to defy pax and tells quadra her strategy was perfect. he declares pax has no say in the matter because it wasn’t his battle to begin with, which of course offends pax. then later, quadra loses to valt, frustrating pax even further and cementing pax’s growing belief that pri does not have what it takes to achieve his goals as long as she has any say in what she does.

later, valt gets a call from shu about the ruins in england and valt plans to leave to see what’s going on. pri talks to pax, saying she knows he’s leaving for england too. she asserts that it has nothing to do with them or their plan but pax responds saying that he’ll be the one to decide that, a clear declaration to pri that he’s the one who knows what’s right. he goes on to tell her that there isn’t any reason pandora should lose to belial and that if she loses, the only explanation is that she’s the problem. pax then admits he doesn’t believe in pri and challenges her to prove to him that he should. while at the ruins, pax declares that “his” pandora is the only bey capable of reaching the highest level of elemental power and pri hopes he meant to say that pandora was both of theirs, again giving pri more reason to doubt pax. aiga approaches pri and tells her she’s her own person and she should do things the way she wants to and reassures her that pandora is her’s as well.

the next day, it’s announced that quadra and bell will battle to determine who will face kit in the finals. pax tells pri to use twister break against bell but pri says bell knows twister break because of how much they used it in the tag-team tournament. pax says it’s the perfect chance to master twister break so she can beat aiga and valt and that bell shouldn’t be of any concern. he reminds her that it’s “their” dream to create the ultimate bey and then reassures her that pandora is both of theirs. for the first two rounds of the battle, she listens to pax but ends up hesitating before the third round, causing pax to insult her and say that if it were him battling, he would have won. this causes quadra to break from pax's plan and battle her own way and while she ends up losing, she finds herself happy in spite of the outcome. at the end of the episode, pax confronts pri demanding she tell him why she broke from his plan when she would have won if she hadn’t. she finally asserts to pax that, even if he would have won, it doesn’t matter because she isn’t him, she is herself — pri and quadra. pax demands pri give back pandora, but before he can take it, bell stops him. pri then proclaims that she’s been the one making pandora stronger, not him, so pandora belongs to her.

(end trigger warning)

and so that’s a wrap on the first question and subsequently pri’s arc as a whole. this particular exploration of the theme was good. it wasn’t nearly as deep as it could have been and the last two questions should have been far more substantial parts of pri’s arc as they have just as much bearing on the outcome of the first question as all of the things in the story that seem more directly related to it. as stated before, it’s frustrating that the last two questions get answered so quickly and require so little struggle or introspection for pri to find the right conclusion for herself, but the conclusions she comes to are those that would be rewarding and feel great if they’d actually allowed pri to earn them. the third question was obviously the most prominent with a very decent build up, though there could have been far more emphasis placed on pri’s struggle with it. we know how much she cares for pax and wants to make him happy and we know she knows to do that she needs to do what he wants, but we also know how much pride she takes in being able to do things her own way and seeing her grappling with the two conflicting motivations is engaging and impactful, but we just don’t get enough of it.

with all this being said, we aren’t quite done with the theme of identity as it is also explored a bit with pax, which makes sense considering he’s as important as he is to pri’s arc dealing with the theme to begin with.

(tw: this section contains brief mentions of emotional manipulation and generally toxic behavior from a caretaker as well as mentions of an ableist trope)

the exploration of the theme of identity through pax is shown with how he projects his identity onto pri. after it’s revealed his injury barred him from blading any longer, we see in flashbacks how devastating it is to him as it was his dream to become a legendary blader like valt and shu and pri sees this too. it’s shown to us how close they are, and that beyblade has helped them bond and so the previously presented information that pax made pandora, the mask and the quadra identity for pri and the constant use of phrases like “our dream” makes it clear that pax has to some degree imparted parts of his identity onto pri so she can carry out his dream and she accepts it because she cares for him. as the story continues, it becomes even more clear how he takes advantage of this part of pri, constantly guilt-tripping her into listening to him by reminding her that this is “their” dream until it culminates in her snapping and asserting her own identity to his face. pax is a character who goes through a devastating loss, becoming disabled which forces him to give up on something massively important to him, something entwined with his sense of self and identity. losing something like that would make anybody feel completely lost, and with pax the grief results in him pushing that part of himself onto pri so he can live vicariously through her. the logical conclusion would then be to have part of his arc be about him finding a new sense of identity, one that doesn’t require pri to subjugate herself to him, but they don’t give him that at all. in the end, pax doesn’t need to do any sort of introspection or search for a new sense of identity because he is simply cured of his disability and he doesn’t have to face any consequences for how he treated pri.

(end trigger warning)

Grief

and that brings us to the second theme of quadstrike — grief. this theme is primarily explored through the main antagonist, pax forsythe, although pri has some part of it as well.

as stated before, it’s revealed pax goes through a devastating loss after his injury forces him give up on blading and his dreams and the loss causes him an immense amount of grief. throughout the season, we’re shown through flashbacks how he feels lost without this part of himself and then it’s revealed he finds out about elemental power. he is in denial that his dream is over and he sees elemental power as a means to give pri the power needed to carry on his dream and he becomes obsessed with it and achieving those goals vicariously through her. it also explains his admiration for shu while he was red eye, a time in shu’s life where he had obsessed over power so he could achieve the dreams he had been unable to previously.

later on, after he decides he has no need for pri any longer, he creates a new bey, some sort of mechanical brace for his injured arm, and a mask. the mask actually conceals the vision on his right side, making it so he can’t see his injured arm and during the lodestar battle tournament, shu explains to pri that when pax sees his injured arm, it causes him emotional pain, compounding how much his grief has affected him and showing the extent of his denial.

(tw: this paragraph contains a brief mention of an ableist trope)

and with all of this in mind, you’d think pax’s arc should have been about him learning to accept his disability and the things it prevents him from doing, beginning a long journey of healing, but that isn’t what happens (and, to be clear, that journey of healing wouldn’t have had to have happened during the show. sometimes the end to an arc marks the beginning of another that’s implied to happen after the end of the show, and arcs that end like this can be incredibly powerful). again, he doesn’t have to accept his loss and grief, he is simply cured of his disability. aside from the gross implications of this that I will get into later, it’s just such an awful way to end an arc. no introspection, no emotional compromise, no real consequences for his actions. he’s just handed a conclusion and the conclusion is everything he wants it to be so they can force in a “beyblade is fun, buy our products please” message instead. and it doesn’t end there.

(end trigger warning)

with pri, we're shown how she sees pax grieving for this loss and how it affects their relationship. they’re no longer able to bond through beyblade the way they were able to before and pax can no longer find happiness and meaning through beyblade in the way he wants, which of course hurts pri. she cares for him and so she does what she genuinely believes will help him heal, taking up the identity of quadra and his goal to create the ultimate elemental bey and become a legendary blader for him. through her, we get to see the way grief impacts the people around the grieving person as well.

we know she eventually breaks away from his control, or at least that’s how it starts out. of course after what happens between pri and pax, pri would be going through grief herself. she denies to herself that pax just doesn’t care about her now that she’s asserted her own identity and this could have been taken in several interesting directions, but they simply go for the worst option imaginable. they have her continue to orbit around pax, every decision she makes from this point forward being for him, completely undermining her original arc and practically abandoning this second one. there is no introspection or closure and the only compromise is them compromising her entire character arc.

quadstrike starts out so strong with this theme so I have genuinely no idea how they ended up fucking it up so unbelievably badly. and the mishandling of themes isn’t the only reason quadstrike’s story feels like it lacks much substance.

Characters

quadstrike’s use of its characters for its story manages to be impressively refreshing at times, disappointingly safe and boring at others, and infuriatingly incompetent at its worst.

first, let’s talk about the secondary characters. this part of the cast doesn't really have anything all too interesting going on, which is understandable. they’re there for the purpose of serving the plot and the main characters’ narratives and they fulfill those roles perfectly competently. that doesn’t mean they couldn’t have been more interesting, but what we got wasn’t bad. a lot of the issues of shallow character-writing with most of the returning characters are things that are rooted in characterization from past seasons, and at this point you can’t really change that without either dedicating way too much time to characters that just aren’t meant to be all that important in this season or completely retconning parts of those prior seasons. if this season had been 51 episodes, maybe we could have gotten some of the former as well as more time to flesh out other parts of the plot and story, but that just wasn’t ever going to be in the cards for quadstrike.

Bell

now let’s get into the protagonists. between bell and pri, bell is very clearly the weaker character and it’s not a close competition. while pri’s arc is written to develop a theme as well as to explore her as a character, bell isn’t given an arc at all. well, ok, he gets an “arc” where the conclusion is just for him to upgrade his beyblade again so hasbro has more product to sell and it’s frustrating because they get so close to doing something actually interesting with his character.

throughout the season, bell loses. a lot. yes, he wins a lot too and a large portion of them are not deserved, but he actually does lose more than he wins. in episode 12 in particular, he’s provoked by pax to try and win the tag team battle with pri against hikaru and hyuga by himself. being an egotistical 10 year old, he falls for it and ends up losing the match for himself and quadra. while this moment is mostly used to further pri and pax’s story, bell is shown to be massively affected by this loss, at least at first. but of course, he couldn’t care less after the next episode begins. then, after bell loses the title match against aiga, he’s shown once again to feel incredibly upset and frustrated with the loss, but he simply gets over it immediately when he decides the solution is to evolve belial. and before any of this, bell loses to several other opponents as well, but only ever seems to be shaken by it a minimal amount if at all.

the reason I bring any of this up is because I think it’s such a wasted opportunity. bell loses so much and if they’d leaned harder into bell’s frustration with losing so many battles (and honestly if they’d had him lose more, like his final battle against ken and/or his second solo battle with hyuga) then they could’ve had an actual arc for him. like, have him get super upset and angry with himself that he keeps losing and maybe have him push too hard and end up breaking belial. that’d even give them an excuse to have him evolve belial. yes it would be a very similar arc to aiga in cho-z but at least it’d be SOMETHING. obviously this is only a single idea for the direction they could’ve taken and I have absolutely zero doubt any of you in the audience could come up with something more interesting than what ended up happening in the show.

that aside, bell was mostly just his usual over-confident and obnoxious 10-year old self committing acts of sillay mischief (which to many of you might be a negative but I love him and I like it when he’s obnoxious so this was a win for me<3).

Pri

on the other hand, pri was a very strong character for the vast majority of the show and was easily the highlight of the entire season. when it comes to her characterization, I found her to be very enjoyable. she’s kind and incredibly passionate and boisterous and playful but she tries to put on a cooler outward appearance in front of other bladers which she often fails at because of her hot-headed and stubborn nature. she’s caring but prideful which often ends up causing conflict between her and pax since she cares about making her brother happy by doing what he wants but she can’t help but disobey at times because she takes pride in doing things her way. her cocky demeanor in the beginning is par for the course with burst characters, but it becoming more and more a mask (haha, get it) for her decreasing self-confidence as the story went on was a level of depth I hadn’t expected to see in a new burst character at this point in the series. because of all of this, her dynamics with other characters, especially bell, are so much fun and it was an absolute joy to see her relationships with the rest of the cast and it was always fun to see her getting silly with it.

unlike bell, she was written with an arc in mind and the arc in question was pretty good for the majority of the show’s runtime. as stated previously, it wasn’t nearly as deep as it could have been but by burst standards, it was a massive breath of fresh air. seeing pri make decisions that retained her agency felt good and the moment when she stood up to pax and asserted her own identity was great.

so yeah, it sucks how they then managed to drop the ball as hard as they did right at the finish line. having pri be in denial about pax’s behavior towards her is fine, but they never give her the moment of realization she deserves. she never leaves him despite what he’s done and every decision she makes after standing up to him continues to be for him, which is such a monumental moon-jump backwards from the incredibly strong writing they’d done for her before. her identity once again becomes centered around pax and it is infuriating to watch play out, like literally what was the point of her asserting her own identity if this was what was going to happen afterwards. it’s like they just decided to completely drop everything interesting about her after her moment in the spotlight (a very familiar problem they seem to have with every strong girl character in this series hmmmmmmmm 🤔.)

Pax

(tw: this section contains discussion of an ableist trope)

and pax. oh boy what to say about pax. well, first and foremost his arc started out as another one of the best in the season. which isn’t really saying that much when there’s only two other arcs and one of those arcs concludes with the character just making more beyblade products, but still. but then they managed to blow it so fucking hard at the end that it easily became the worst of the three.

the setup for his arc centering around his grief and lost sense of identity was good, and the build-up throughout the season was even better. his motivations were understandable, but it became increasingly clear just how unhealthy his obsession with holding onto his dream was, not just for himself, but for pri especially. you want him to accept his disability and what it prevents him from doing so he can finally heal and find something else to live for and you really want him to see that what he’s doing is wrong and for him to apologize to pri. so why does none of this happen and instead he just has his disability cured.

ok, let me make something super clear here. this is a disgustingly and infuriatingly ableist conclusion to a disabled character's arc. pax’s entire arc centers around how he has to give up on his dream because of his disability, a common reality for disabled people in real life. it is an absolutely devastating thing to go through, but something disabled people stress is the importance of coming to terms with their disability so they can find some semblance of peace and continue living their lives to the best of their ability. there is no cure for disability in real life and every attempt to do so has resulted in failure at best and outright eugenics and genocide at worst, and so disabled people have made it clear that the “cured disability” narrative commonly seen in fantasy and sci-fi settings is a harmful trope. in some stories, it’s used as a “reward” for the hero, while in others it’s used as a copout so the creators don’t have to deal with having a disabled character or so the previously disabled character can have a happy ending. curing their disability is used as a conclusion to an arc because able-bodied writers cannot for the life of them imagine a character living a happy life with a disability and that’s very much what it’s used for here. from the beginning, I was hoping so so much that they weren’t going to do this, and I’d gotten my hopes up because of their surprisingly deep and empathetic handling of pri and pax’s characters for most of the season, but they went for the easy option resulting in an insulting and vile conclusion to an otherwise great arc.

(end trigger warning)

pax is, however, a great antagonist. as obvious as it may be to the audience, in the story it starts out pretty ambiguous what exactly his role is meant to be in the season, but as the season goes on, his mask begins to slip and his sinister personality becomes more apparent. this is actually a somewhat common trope with antagonists in the burst series, but pax stands out due to the fact that he isn’t even a blader until the last few episodes in the season. most of his time is spent as a coach to pri, using manipulation as his main weapon rather than a beyblade. again, not necessarily completely unique to him but it feels more present and impactful in this season due to his deep history and close ties to one of the main protagonists.

let me elaborate a bit: with drum and gwyn, the slow reveal of gwyn’s manipulation doesn’t feel as significant because, throughout the season, drum isn’t only naive to gwyn’s ulterior motives, but to literally every stranger he meets. we know he isn’t going to see it until it’s too late and we know at the end he’s going to win gwyn over with the power of friendship and beyblades. additionally, he has no previous relationship with gwyn either, so there's no reason to be invested or feel impacted when it happens.

with pri and pax, however, we see that they have a close familial relationship. pri’s trust in pax isn’t just her being naive by nature, it’s because she cares for him and has little reason to do otherwise. yes, she disobeys him early on, but it’s not out of a sense of distrust for him, but because of her own pride. and it’s not that pax just straight up doesn’t care about pri at all, he has thoroughly convinced himself that what he wants is what pri wants too. so as the story unfolds and pax’s selfish, controlling, and manipulative behavior comes through, it has a far more obvious impact on pri and therefore the audience too, and it creates a stronger reason to be invested in the developing story around their relationship.

and speaking of that story, it is easily one of the most interesting aspects of the entire season. pax’s descent and the slowburn reveal that he’s only interested in his own goals and happiness once pri has made it clear she doesn’t want exactly what pax does is paced so well and feels genuinely devastating. which makes it even more frustrating when they fuck it up right at the end. again. one part of this has to do with what I discussed about pri’s arc before. the fact they never give her a moment of realization means the break in their relationship is completely one-sided, which makes any realization pax has about what he’s done/is doing way less impactful. and then the fact he doesn’t even really have that realization, but instead realizes that “beyblade is fun,” a conclusion to an arc that pax never has, is just. what. and then on top of that, the fact he realizes this because of bell instead of pri??? there’s no real closure between them, everything is just fixed all of a sudden at the end. it just feels awful and it makes it clear that the only reason they never had pri leave pax was so they could minimize pri’s writing at the end and have bell fix everything and it is, once again, rage-inducing to watch.

and all of this — quadstrike’s unwillingness to dig deeper into its themes, its baffling mishandling of said themes and its characters, and insistence on derailing every interesting part of its story for a “beyblade is fun, please buy our products” message at the end (a message they could have easily ended with without throwing out every character arc and theme they’d established) — is why quadstrike struggles to be anything more than an advertisement. it’s a story about kids running around playing with highly marketable toys that seems to desperately want to be about a pair of siblings grappling with grief and their own identities after having experienced loss, but can’t be that because the toys need to get advertised.

Conclusion

so yeah. I enjoyed it. ok I know after how harsh I’ve been, you might be a bit confused. let me be clear: I don’t “like” quadstrike. in fact, I fucking hate it. I hate its unwillingness to defy its status as “just a children’s toy anime,” I hate what it represents as a symbol of the compromise and degradation of story-telling as an artform and art as a form of story-telling for the sake of corporate marketing, I hate how it comes so. SO close. to being something more than what it was expected to be just to fall short right at the end. I hate it!

but I also can’t help but love it. I love this series. I love the characters and their stories. I love the ridiculous and stupid shit that happens to and because of them. I love their relationships and dynamics with each other. it’s all so much fun and they all mean a lot to me, which is why I’m so hard on the burst series whenever it fucks it up. because I see so much potential in what’s here and seeing it be wasted constantly, over and over again, hurts. I know beyblade is a kid’s show and none of this is to say that it can't just be dumb fun, but the problem is when it clearly wants to do something more but ends up compromising out of fear, and I can recognize the parts of it that don’t treat its audience like idiots whose sole purpose is to be marketed to and I just wish it would wholeheartedly embrace that part of itself. I want kids to see stories about trauma, identity, grief, communication, etc. because these are real world things that kids are dealing with and are going to deal with for the rest of their lives and they deserve quality stories and art that teach them about these human things and about being human just as much as anyone else. so that's why I ask: why can’t it be that. when it constantly comes so close, why can't it just hit the mark once and be something more than a marketing trick. just once, why can't it be a piece of art instead of a piece of advertising.

with all that said, if I ever decide to do a rewatch of the burst series, you can be sure I'll only be watching quadstrike through episode 19 and then making up the rest in my head, and if you're wanting to watch the season too I'd suggest you do the same.

#beyblade burst #beyblade burst quadstrike #long post #goodeger #spam

25 notes · View notes