#he's trying to make a point and I'm like can you explain the latter stages of ceremorphosis

[gayfandomblog]

I find it very funny that gale will be visibly annoyed if you ask him to overexplain or follow you down a tangent, but he'll also remain on whatever tangent you send him on 100%. he's the kind of professor who claims not to believe in stupid questions but also struggles to contain his frustration with questions he thinks are stupid

#chris chats #bg3 #he's trying to make a point and I'm like can you explain the latter stages of ceremorphosis #oh and you may as well explain the final stage too #by the time I finally make his point for him he's ready to cry with relief. this is exactly like talking to genius egoists in middle school

[neoyi]

No Straight Roads is an impressive First Good Try from a newcomer developer. It's a bit clunky (loose jump mechanics; weird fixed camera angles during stages prior to boss fights; some uh, choice voice acting, though the latter is largely relegated to NPCs), but it's visually surreal and enticing, and the game is a mastery of nuanced depths and inner secrets coming from each of the major characters.

Naturally, I was immediately drawn to the robot boy band, which, conceptually alone, is fantastic. This is such an evil thing for a major corporation to do. You have advanced machinery designed to be the perfect entertainment system, drawing in millions of fans and their money. They're completely ageless and can be exploited for however long is needed, and if one "dies", another can replace it. 1010 is diabolical.

But NSR one-ups this amusingly bizarre backdrop by adding 1010's manager and his contribution alone simultaneously explains a lot about the game's creativity and charm, AND his character. NSR isn't above emotional and heartbreaking moments, but it constantly maintains an upbeat, positive energy; fittingly Neon J's war background is portrayed as hammy and comical.

But they're not making fun of him for being a strait-laced soldier (well, a bit, but not in a mean-spirited way.) NSR is really good about laying out the cards and letting you find and piece together why these people act the way they do. And I'm just so damn bewildered and in awe that this man, clearly a war veteran and possibly enduring PTSD, decided the best way to cope is to take his toy-making skills and create a military-themed boy band. Art is therapeutic, after all.

And it somehow works? Like there is something absurd, but fitting about a former war vet addressing his band as soldiers and treating them as such. It's just another form of training, just replace guns with dancing, and any war fields with a stage platform. It's kind of fucked up, honestly.

I can see why fans have latched headcanons of this guy being a father to his boy band. Like in-game, he portrays the army-specific "Father to his Men" and hints of his backstory seem to imply that his robotic toys are very important to him. I mean, he's an artist, and a lot of artists extend a lot of themselves and a generous pouring of love (sometimes a little too much) into their crafts.

And then you see this and go, okay, yeah, I think the fans are onto something. He could have easily replaced any of these bots from an attack like that. Neon didn't have to get up front to try and protect them.

Of course, this could be another extensive of his military background; he's protecting his men because it's what he was trained to do. Maybe it's subconscious that way. Maybe he's already lost so many of his friends and brothers-in-arm that he just dived in. But I think it's abundantly clear 1010 aren't just soulless tools to him.

And like, the guy has, at least, a decent sense of morals. I'm not sure how he feels about associating with a capitalist company (and to be fair, NSR isn't really about that, though I guess I could argue that the people high up are as much victims in their own myopia that they failed to notice the greater issues as much as Bunk Bed Junction is), but he's one of the first to point out Bunk Bed Junction's chaotic method isn't exactly any better (he is correct, there wasn't any damn reason to break a nine-year-old kid's piano.)

This is kind of what I mean when I say NSR's characters has layers. So much that for a game I powered through in two days, it had a lot to say about its cast, and it does it with gusto. There's a lot I could probably talk about Neon J and 1010 (do the latter have self-awareness? Is he a cyborg because he suffered severe war wounds?)

Also holy shit, their Christmas upgrade. Words can't EVEN.

#no straight roads #neoyi talks #I recorded a video of Neon J's appearance because I wanted to show off his dance moves #but tumblr refuses to let me post this blog with it even though I met all the guidelines #tumblr ya gotta fix this shit #I hadn't had video uploading issues until this new blog format took over!

[sailing-ever-west]

WRIT200 Blog Post #3 - The Enforcement of Secular Femininity in Christian Circles

A while ago I (Christian) was talking with my dad (also Christian) about the double standards I experience as a woman as far as how I'm supposed to dress. I explained how comfortable and utilitarian clothing like loose shirts, sweatpants, and cargo shorts seemed to be considered gender-neutral or masculine, and if I wanted to be seen as feminine I would often have to give up comfort or practicality. I don't personally feel the need to be seen as feminine all the time–people can see me how they like and that doesn't mean it's the truth–but it's especially difficult in Christian circles where adherence to the traditional gender binary is seen as a sign of orthodox faith, and divergence from it is seen as inching into sin. The problem is that the gender standards being enforced are often not Biblical but cultural, which makes them fallible to going against other values of the Faith such as modesty or even simple mercy (if you don't understand the latter, know that I once did a full stage play in heels that I had to run in at one point and a dress that didn't allow me to lift my arms above my head or easily expand my middle to breathe).

I think the rest of the conversation I had with my father illuminates my point rather well. When I complained that many useful and comfortable things weren't seen as feminine, he pointed out that you can get feminine cuts of many different clothing items without having to be seen as masculine or remove them entirely from your wardrobe. This is true, but then I asked him to think about what makes something a feminine cut. At that, he understood. 

With the exception of some long skirts which don't need a feminine cut since they are seen as feminine inherently, a feminine cut is almost always one that simply shows more of someone's body. Pants that are skinnier to show the shape of a leg, shirts that taper in at the waist, lower necklines, shorter shorts, thinner material, see-through lace. 

And people in the church, bless their hearts, see this simultaneously as fundamentally feminine (certainly a man couldn't wear them) and as immodest, creating both a deep association between the two things and a nearly impossible standard for women to reach. Show off too much of your body, and you're asking for men's attention. Show off too little of your body, and you're trying to be a man. Unless you dress like a 19th century prairie woman (and even then, watch the cleavage), you are constantly on the edge of being perceived as sinful. 

The most interesting part is that most people enforcing these standards don't even realize that they're still telling women to dress for the pleasure of men; in fact, saying that phrase would often go directly against their professed beliefs. "Women should dress to honor God," they would say. But when did God ask us to adhere to the ever-changing standards of fashion? And what if those standards are set by people with non-Christian and furthermore dehumanizing values?

People seem willing enough to recognize this when it comes to significantly revealing outfits or fashions associated with the LGBTQIA+ community, but mainstream feminine fashion is treated as though it's somehow inherent to womanly nature. It leaves women with a narrow range of options and the constant threat of being shamed. If we as Christians claim to love women and men equally, we need to have the humility to understand that our subjective cultural standards for gender were not directly dictated by God, and that we can and will be wrong about them.

So, fellow Christ-followers, the next time you see a woman in baggy cargo shorts or anything else you instinctively deem unfeminine, consider why you label it that way, and whether you actually believe that femininity is dependent on the standard you are drawing from.

#writ200 #school blog #femininity #Christianity

[poppunkpie]

hii hello hiii can you tell more about your writing process? :3c what are the stages? are there any writing principles for your process? what's the most enjoyable thing? :3c

hello eldritch!! omg im so sorry for the delay in answering... lol i didn't expect work to suddenly be so busy lol but anyway!!

so there are two main ways that a fic idea comes together for me: a) it's the theme/thesis statement that comes to me first. this comes to me in a lot of different ways... it could be a line from a song or an excerpt from a poem or a similar adjacent theme i take from a different piece of media that i feel i can apply to a certain ship/character that i am brainrotting about at the moment. ex. my favorite and most recent example of this would be scaramouche x from under the cork tree by fall out boy (lol) the theme i put together there was rly just... that desperation of so badly wanting something to be completely about yourself for once (and almost narcissistically/unhealthily so) because you've never had anything at all. i just thought it's a very specific... almost manic feeling that i can definitely picture scara experiencing.

b) it's one very specific scene that comes to me, and from there, i try to fill in the blanks/puzzle pieces in the plot (with other scenes) of how everything builds up to that one scene. when i have all of that down, it becomes a little easier for me to fill in the blanks of what exactly happens/how the fic ends after that one scene.

most of the time, it's a combination of these two ways of idea-gathering for me... mostly it's the theme that comes first, but there are other times that it's the specific scenes that come first and when it's the latter, they don't really come together /thematically/ until i'm already somewhere in the middle of writing. this ideation process is what i consider most important because honestly... i really only have two stages in writing (lol) which are: ideation and then the writing itself. bc basically, the ideation is what gets the fic plot points down... and the writing is really just... me connecting those points/weaving those ideas together...

to put things more concretely, my ideation process is really just... a lot of listing things down and it is admittedly chaotic... it could be scene ideas (or a sequence of them) as simple as 'scara spots aether in the crowd' but bc im a mess it usually becomes a long bullet that also includes the unsaid implications in that said scene like so:

scara spots aether in the crowd looking back at him and he fixates on it bc it feels like for the first time, someone actually /sees/ and wants to look at him

ideas i list down could also be specific lines that i imagine a specific character saying or even a few dialogues of script between characters. there's also just lots of random stuff related to how i want to describe dynamics and characters i list down like 'heiscara friendship with lots of annoying smart banter' or 'scara is a skater in this one' or 'aether listens to taylor swift but lumine doesn't' (lol)' or 'scara is like [insert fall out boy song here]'

~ as for writing principles... ig i only rly have this in mind at the moment: balance out poetry and prose - uhh i dont think i ever write anything that doesn't end up with a motif that ties in with the theme... i like metaphors a lot bc i feel they help describe feelings more accurately... but i also try to make sure that these metaphors are just simple but clever enough?? uhh... i kinda think of writing metaphors as cracking a joke... if it's too cerebral, the punchline might not /punch/ lol but if it's too straightforward... it might not work in capturing a certain idea or feeling... as for my personal preference in my own writing... i like to phrase things bluntly while still making metaphors in that tone so its not cerebrally intimidating... err im not sure how to explain that more elaborately here lol uhh but heres one of my favorite more recent examples from something i wrote abt scara talking about ei:

She has acknowledged me in a way that she believes it's her sister who should be alive instead of me, as if I had taken the life of someone else simply by being born into the world. (I'm not a killer— or at least I wasn't born one, and as far as I know, the blood on my hands is usually my own.)

~ as for the most enjoyable thing about it... well i would say it's definitely writing metaphors lol and then making sure how that ties coherently and cleverly with the theme and the vibe of the ship dynamic/character i'm centering the fic on... i dont think i ever write without an overarching theme or a metaphor for this reason... even when i just want the characters to kiss... its corny but i always need the kiss to feel like its situated in the grander scheme of things and feelings skksks

#asks #fic writing

[reids-gf]

sweater weather

spencer reid x reader

summary: rossi leaves spencer in a ditch, and you just wanted to help. inspired by that scene in 5x17.

content: fluff, mutual pining, sharing clothes, canon-typical crimes, mud, lowercase intended.

requested? no.

reader's gender: neutral.

word count: 1,1k

a/n: first time publishing a fic !! please be kind, reblog and comment your thoughts, i accept constructive criticism <3

“boys wait up!” you shouted as you jogged behind rossi, spencer leading you three as you arrived at the scene where the victim had been found.

spencer started to narrate what could've happened with the information we already had and the location, expressing himself with the usual movements of his hands that you often found yourself admiring. but rossi abruptly interrupted his speech.

“so, how long is it gonna take you to get in that ditch?” he questioned with his hand pointing to said ditch, that was filled with mud and wild plants. following their gaze, you crinkled your nose with disgust and looked up at rossi.

“get in that ditch- i- i got shot in the knee” spencer turned to rossi with his eyebrows knitted together, “my doctor says i'm not allowed to do any climbing” he explained in hopes of not getting thrown in the gross ditch.

rossi just stared at him, signaling the ditch with both of his hands, an incredulous look on his face. “it's a ditch” he teased shaking his head.

spencer slumped looking at their feet as rossi stared at him, behind them you walked around chuckling at their childish behavior, looking for any missed evidence or new ideas about who the unsub could be. you looked up to hear spencer ask rossi about his new boots, and how he didn't want to ruin them. you decided to just stay quiet so they wouldn't decide to send you into the ditch.

spencer slid down the little hill rather faster but still careful to not harm himself, as rossi still looked around. “hey, up here we can be seen by passing vehicles” you affirmed as you looked at the road and back to rossi and spencer. “and i can't” the latter responded.

we continued to deduce how everything happened, spencer giving us his facts and thoughts about how the victims were staged like they were sleeping. “any idea why?” the Italian questioned, looking down.

the younger one just furrowed his eyebrows as he thought for some seconds, you tilted your head waiting for his usually clever answer, as he seemed to know the answer to any question you could think of, and you had tested that theory multiple times. in the jet back home, you would ask him about random stuff; or back in the bullpen, when you two gathered up in the break room for snacks and he would answer questions you hadn't even asked yet with his random facts.

“no”, his answer surprised you, making you gasp, and earning a look from rossi. “well, i guess there is a first time for everything,” he teased as he patted your shoulder walking past you to get back to the suv.

“hey, i'm gonna need a little help getting out of this ditch,” spencer announced as he saw rossi leave, waving his hand back. “hey rossi!” no answer, “l/n?” he called for your name and you instantly turned around.

“oh sure, let me just-” you said as you carefully stepped into the plants, extending your arm for reid to take, he didn't seem to get what you were trying to do so he just stood there looking at you while you were stepping into the muddy hill.

“reid, just take my hand, i'm not gonna step into that disgusting ditch” you started waving your arms around and losing balance. in just seconds you were face-first into the mud down the ditch, your eyes shut tightly as you tried to sit up. “eww”

“oh my god, y/n are you okay? rossi come here l/n fell into the mud!” spencer rambled and shouted at rossi, who came sprinting from the suv in seconds. he offered a hand to take, gladly taking it as you slowly opened your eyes. spencer was surprisingly strong as he pulled you up with ease. your hands running to your face to clean the mud, and shake them in the air.

“yeah i’m alright, just smelling like shit” you shook your head as you responded, looking up at spencer with a smile.

“you are not getting in the suv like that” rossi stated as the younger ones escalated your way up. glaring at him, you jogged towards the vehicle.

to your luck you found a fbi old windbreaker to sit on top of at the back, rossi informed the team that you were a little late because of an inconvenience in the location. but when you arrived at the police department covered in dry mud he was glad to call it ‘an idiot accident’.

you cleaned yourself in the bathroom and changed into a pair of pants you had in your go bag, but you were so sure that you wouldn't end up falling into a ditch that you didn't pack any more sweaters, and now you were cold. you shivered entering the office where spencer was building the geographic profile, his attention from the maps shifted to you, standing with your arms around your middle and your hair a little wet from your improvised shower.

he stared for a few seconds and you cleared your throat, treading slowly and reaching the table filled with papers. your lip quivered from the sudden cold of the water and the lack of warm clothes. and suddenly, spencer was out of the room like a shooting star. you let out a breath and sat down to read the notes and take a look at the maps.

a minute later he was back with his go bag, your face showed your confusion as he started to rummage through it. he turned around and handed you his soft red cardigan, the one you had dreams about running your hands through. your heart skipped a beat as he gave you a tight-lipped smile, your hands eagerly took the cardigan and put it on, taking a deep breath. you quickly shoot a glance at spencer, he already had busied himself with pinging the map to the board.

you hid your hands in the sleeves and grazed your face with it, closing your eyes for a second and pretending it was spencer’s hands and not your own. your eyes fluttered open when you heard spencer’s marker against the paper of the map.

“spence,” you called for his attention, which he quickly gave to you, turning in his heel to face you again. “thank you”

“i- it's nothing, thank you for throwing yourself in a ditch for me” he chuckled lightly and i followed with a giggle, picking up a ruler and walking around the table towards him to keep working on catching the bad guy.

#spencer reid x reader #spencer reid #criminal minds #spencer reid fanfiction #gender neutral reader #fem reader #male reader #david rossi #friends to lovers #romantic prompts #fluff #criminal minds fanfiction #fanfic #matthew gray gubler #aaron hotchner #elle greenaway #emily prentiss #jennifer jareau #luke alvez #tara lewis #derek morgan #penelope garcia

[kris-p-banana-bread]

Here DOAFP fandom, have some organic, locally-sourced, home-grown pain. This is basically just me, a scarred older sibling, projecting on Bobby, another scarred older sibling. I really reached into my post-loss psyche for this, so I hope you enjoy the headcanons and meta (AKA I hope you shed at least one tear).

It won’t let me link it here so the post that inspired this is under the read more at the bottom ✨

- When I first watched doafp, I couldn't understand Elena's aversion to Sam becoming a prominent figure in her mom's and her life. Now I understand it almost too perfectly. There was never supposed to be someone after Robert. He and Gabi were deeply in love and happy. Robert was it; he was the first and true love of Gabi's life. Sam showing up probably felt like a huge and utterly disrespectful slap in the face of Robert's memory, because he wasn't even supposed to be there. I don't know if that's as eloquent as I wish it was, or if it makes sense, and it probably sounds really mean to Sam, but it's not even really about him. It was always supposed to be Robert; Sam hasn’t earned the right to be apart of or associated with her family

- After Robert dies, Gabi and Bobby make it a habit to find and keep photos and recordings/videos of Robert, even if the latter only has him saying one sentence. They won't make Elena join them for the search, but after they find some of those old audios of Robert, they'll sometimes play them back for little Elena

- Bobby put up the keep out sign (I credit this to a few other blogs for discussing this tho) because that's where he would cry sometimes. He actually used to be pretty close with Elena, but after he put up that sign and started distancing himself from them a bit so they wouldn't see the times he cracked, he got a little more short and jaded with her. It's that, plus just growing into a teenager and stuff. And I'm not saying that he and Elena have a bad relationship, but he's become more snappy and has more walls up than he used to

- Sometimes Elena feels bad because she doesn't always remember her dad's voice. She was pretty young when he died, so even though she recalls it a bit, and the recordings help, it's been a while since she's talked to him in person, so of course she doesn't quite remember what it's like to actually talk to Robert and she's forgotten some of his mannerisms. She likes to think she's all done (she marked the stages down in her grief journal after all) but grief isn't linear or all that rational, so it hits her hard sometimes

- I keep reading as an action close to my heart because that's a strong bond me and my mom shared. She would rec books to me, and we would joke and talk about them, or she would hint to some future event and then refuse to tell me until I caught up to that part. So Elena and Bobby do something similar in their grief. Elena has writing and words, because that's something Robert loved if I remember correctly (but if I’m not and that’s not canon, then I now declare it so) and Bobby has tennis. But besides tennis (I sent a couple anons to @freshlybakedfandoms about it but I'm not sure where she went) Bobby also was taught to play guitar by Robert (I liken it to Devi Vishwakumar and her harp) so when he misses his dad or is just sad, he'll take out his dad's old acoustic and strum

- (This next one is something I also think a lot about so this is pretty much 98% projection) Bobby thinks sometimes about the fact that he was never able to come out to his dad. He hadn't really started growing into that part of himself yet, and he never got to show it to his father. He wonders what he would have thought of him. Would he be angry? Would he dismiss him and say it was just a phase? Bobby didn't think so, but a little part of him insisted that you could never be too sure. After he comes out, Gabi and Cami assure him that Robert would've been so proud of him and would've loved him regardless (Since we know virtually nothing about him, I maintain that Robert was one of those dads who teases their kid relentlessly about their crushes and I think he would've done that with Bobby and eventually Elena)

- When Elena's quince rolls around (if she chooses to have one of course), Sam dances with her during the father-daughter dance. A part of her still hurts, still aches and wishes that Robert were dancing with her too; still knows on some fundamental level that he and Gabi had planned for this day, but he had simply never made it. But she's known Sam long enough that she feels comfortable here. Nobody can replace Robert, but Sam is her family, and it feels right like this.

- I might do some more research and deliberate, but for the moment I'm saying that Robert had cancer, I’m thinking along the lines of colon. My mom was terminal, but idk if I should make Robert terminal? Maybe towards the end. Or maybe he was diagnosed as incurable early on but Gabi kept it from the kids because, tbh, being told your parent is balancing on that kind of edge is traumatic for them. So anyways, I’m going on that assumption for this last point, and I’ll see if I can recover some of my old knowledge and talk about technical stuff later if anybody would like to hear it

- Elena and Bobby were both pretty young. Bobby understood about PET scans and tests somewhat, and knew generally what different answers from doctors meant. Elena mainly just understood what was happening by reading her parents' and brother's expressions when getting lab results in from the doctor. They both remember on some level what it was like when Gabi would leave the kids with Cami and take Robert out to the car (later she would have to help him) and they would all feel like they were holding their breath until they got back and confirmed that everything was ok (and later, the little shocks of fear when the answers were no longer as positive and there was more apprehension and risks. After all, cancer doesn’t deal in absolutes)

- Bobby can still remember Robert when he had to stop walking around a lot. He still remembers the phone call that Cami got from his mom, saying that something had gone wrong, and if this last treatment didn’t work, he wouldn’t have much time before he passed. Still remembers Cami rushing into a room when she got that call, and trying to hide what was happening until Gabi could get home and explain it; but Bobby was a sharp kid believe it or not. He heard about the treatment, heard Cami crying. He still had hope... but when Robert came home in a gurney, when he could barely stay awake sometimes, when his voice was quiet and his skin was a little jaundiced, Bobby felt incredibly empty. But Robert always had a smile for his wife and his beautiful kids, even if it was small and very tired, his eyes still crinkled the same. He always had a smile; right up until they had to say goodnight and get some sleep one night. And then... he passed.

- After he passed, the Cañero-Reeds needed help, and a lot of Gabi’s coworkers would bring food or materials if they were running low. Cami and Danielle would babysit and would distract the kids when Gabi needed a good cry.

- Like you’d imagine, and because of what is sort of implied in canon and in my own head, the kids dealt with it in different ways. Bobby put up that sign, and withdrew. He wasn’t awful, but his patience with certain people got a bit shorter and he was a bit quieter. And he was a really good helper when he had the energy and he cared deeply, but he would sometimes get physically and emotionally exhausted after helping Gabi/Elena/Cami/anybody else with something and would go into his room or mentally tap out to recharge. He took comfort in things that seemed natural and that he sometimes took for granted before, like video games and skateboarding (hehe bobby skateboards. Anybody second me on this?) and clothes etc... and other stuff. A lot of materialistic things or experiences that he would skip out on before. But they bring normalcy back to his life now so he loves them for that.

- Bobby doesn’t wanna think about big themes or anything anymore, which I can’t remember but I think it was Vi (freshlybakedfandoms, again, idk where she is and I hope she’s ok) who said he was a math and science person and I think that as much as that could transfer over to those subjects as well, it’s much harder to avoid existential and emotional themes in English and History class and Bobby doesn’t like it as much as Elena does for that reason. He had to live with the back and forth of his dad’s treatments and tests, so math and science is comforting because it’s more concrete (There could be a million arguments for why he would distrust math and science because of his dad’s passing though, I realize) Ultimately, though, it reminds him of Robert too much.

- On the other hand, after a period of shock and confusion, Elena threw herself into new things. First it was a grief journal, to make sure she was going through the motions. Then she read a lot, and when she felt too alone or like she wasn’t doing enough, like she was stagnant, she’d just find something to focus and persevere on again. That feels like her personality type to me; something is wrong so let’s fix it right away. But that could also transfer sort of negatively into “Something feels off or I’m very sad, let’s get this thing done and be productive so we can put off having to confront that but at least we get work out of it” but I could be entirely wrong (this is based off some of my family members and how they dealt with the loss.) And Elena throws herself into history and english because her dad loved it, and she wants to remember more of him. Because she believes words have power and history is a lesson and that’s incredibly interesting for her

#bear talks #doafp #robert cañero reed #bobby cañero reed #gabi cañero reed #elena cañero reed #camila doafp #sam faber #fun times #sorry? #I can write a cute fluffy fic to make up for it #i cri #also sorry if I made these a bit too much about bobby #I just relate to him as the older sibling #I added some more so if it got out of hand I’m sorry #tell me and I can make it neater #my meticulousness might just make myself do that on my own tho

[og-danny-dorito]

Twisted Wonderland : Some Pomfiore Headcanons

bitcH hhhh- I fucking HATE D*sney but these BOYS- I'm starting with Vil because uhhhh istanhim

{ Vil Schoenheit }

♛ Rich Blonde Bitch Energy™

♛ like that's not even an insult he literally looks like a mean girl and i cannot explain how happy that makes me

♛ cause like,,, there’s no way he’s NOT rich you know what i mean???

♛ like he’s literally a model and an actor by profession and has a fuckton of followers on MagiCam (5MIL exactly, i looked that shit up) not to mention i’m CONVINCED this thot has a youtube channel

♛ yes, it’s a makeup channel

♛ he does some other stuff like vlogs and story times where he talks about drama he heard in the hallways earlier that day and promotes his cosmetic brand because he likes that Coint

♛ he also gives tips for good makeup techniques and how to not fuck up your whole face for certain situations because he likes to flex his skills while also (and he probably wouldn’t admit it out loud) helping people get better at something he personally enjoys

♛ he is a part of the beauty commity as someone who both makes cosmetics and wears them regularly himself and makes a shitton of money from that because he’s pretty and knows that shit

♛ his subscribers/followers make memes of him making weird faces to get certain angles of his face like this and he highkey gets mad that they would sabatoge his good angles like that but says it in the most passive-aggressive way ever

♛ like they have a Q&A video or whatever and they send him something like this and he just looks at the camera and goes “I love your selfie, maybe try to look a little less crusty next time though. Maybe it’s the lighting?” and moves on like he didn’t just end their career, take all their money and snatch their wig with one sentence

♛ that means that his morning/evening routine is like, unfairly complicated. like HEINOUSLY complicated.

♛ he applies like 3 different moisturizers before actually putting his makeup on and because he grows some amount of facial hair be has to put color correctors down, and then he has to use this weird primer from like France or something-

♛ it's super complicated and takes him like an hour but he's the God of Self Care and beauty and if you ask him nicely he'll reccoment beauty products for you (albeit with some underlying insults here and there such as suggesting products for the acne you didn't say you wanted help with and so forth)

♛ also i’m convinced that he’s androgynous/gender fluid since he canonically presents as a man but uses feminine pronouns to refer to himself so like let’s make a petition to officiate that Vil Is Trans 2020

{ Rook Hunt }

♛ big art nerd right here

♛ like, as an art nerd myself you can usually TELL that someone is an art nerd too just by the way that they act and the Vibe they radiate, and this man screams “I will talk for hours about ‘The Last Supper’ and how i’m fairly certain that Leonardo DaVinci was gay”

♛ it’s also canon that his best subject is art and that he likes photography and stage play so like,,, not only is he an art nerd he’s a theatre nerd- ehem -i mean ✨thespian✨

♛ i don’t wanna go so far as to say that he’s one of those theatre kids that ONLY like musicals but like,,, he knows every score to “Phatom of the Opera” (listens to this shit religiously) and has like 5 Playbills for different plays sitting on a shelf that he takes care of religiously

♛ probably hums said musical scores to himself a lot while he’s doing things, mostly cleaning or cooking, to which the latter he does regularly

♛ you see there’s a certain way that he likes his food cause he’s a Picky Eater™ so he just makes a lot of it himself to satisfy his specifics

♛ it’s almost annoying because certain textures and flavors throw his whole food experience off

♛ he likes things that are easy to digest like soups or (his canonically favorite food) Liver Pâté and dislikes things that are too crunchy or hard to chew through like hard candy and fried foods

♛ like,,, not only is having to eat something hard gross cause he has to hear the sound of it in his skull but also because it makes him look sloppy when he eats it so he just avoids crunchy/crispy/overal messy foods altogether

♛ he’s a pretty decent cook even though he barely cooks for other people. the only time he really does cook for other people is when his house is doing a potluck or he has to go to an event where he needs to bring food and most of his share is gone within like 10 seconds because it’s so good

♛ don’t let him bake though. fist fighting god would be easier than helping rook bake and God Save You if you tell him he can’t do it because he WILL do it out of spite and seriously fuck up your kitchen

{ Epel Felmier }

♛ he’s,,, he’s baby

♛ no like fr tho he’s baby, i love him

♛ his whole complex of not feeling masculine enough seriously hits me hard too cause like same, and i feel like he probably does some of the things i did to make myself seem more masculine when i felt like i wasn’t

♛ he probably wears clothes a bit too large for him outside of his uniform, which always tends to make him look smaller than he actually is and kinda counteracts his efforts to look less like a doll

♛ like it genuinely bothers him when someone calls him “pretty” or “beautiful” cause he views it as him possessing more feminine qualities and being seen as more delicate and fragile than he’s supposed to be

♛ he doesn’t realize yet that he doesn’t need to be more physically masculine to still be considered just as manly as a 6’3” bodybuilder with big muscles and a beard, but he’s still 16 so i’m sure he’d pick it up eventually

♛ genuinely feels joy when someone tells him that he looks “handsome” or “very dominant and regal” tho since it gives him confidence and a sense of self-validation

♛ and, even though he’s not very good with words, he’ll try his best to give them a compliment back even though it comes out as a bit stuttered and meek since he’s not used to giving compliments like that

♛ he probably swears a lot though. dude is a quote unquote “brash country boy” who grew up in the middle of god knows where with what i’m assuming is a vast collection of old men to teach that cute little innocent boy how to say every cuss word in the book

♛ for real, his mouth is filthy and it catches most people off guard. in fact, when rook told him he looked a little bit like a porcelain doll at some point he high key looked him in the eye and went “fuck off” quietly enough so that only he could hear

♛ and no one believed him when he said that Epel, the sweetest and most fragile boy in the whole school, told him to fuck. right. off.

♛ needless to say epel made sure to do it more, albeit a little quietly cause he doesn’t wanna cross the line of being indecent

♛ Make Epel Feral 2020

{ ~Thanks For Reading!~ }

#vil schoenheit #rook hunt #epel felmier #twst vil #twst vil schoenheit #twst rook #twst rook hunt #twst epel #twst epel felmier #twisted wonderland headcanons #twisted wonderland imagines #twisted wonderland #twisted wonderland pomefiore #twisted wonderland headcanon #twisted wonderland imagine #twst headcanons #twst imagines #twst headcanon #twst imagine

[kwantified]

waffles - zhong chenle

genre: highschool!chenji, fluff word count: 2.6k synopsis: a snitched secret leaves you feeling guilty, but there’s always chenle (and food). lowercase intended.

disclaimer! mild swearing (as teens do) and apologies in advance if it’s cringey. i’m new to this!

"fuck chaeri, they're going to kill me!"

"she needs to know! someone likes her!"

"but you don't know the name, though? what's the point?" at this moment, you realise it would've been better to have never told chaeri anything at all. damn it. who knew the same person who was able to keep all of your crushes since the seventh grade was now willingly announcing someone's feelings to the one person they shouldn't be announced to - at least, not yet.

"that's exactly the point. it's even more exciting to guess!" chaeri continues, "also, it's about time she gets a love life. i'm pretty sure ballet gets tiring sometimes."

you pull her shoulder, hoping to hold her back. your effort ignored, she instead approaches your friend, hong mijung, sitting on the leftmost seat in classroom 1-C. you watch in defeat as chaeri's lanky figure sways her way to the girl on the other side of the room. she tells mijung in squeals, a mix of excitement and shock. you could practically see mijung's heart drop after hearing her words.

mijung stands up, following chaeri to the hallway. her face is flushed bright red and her mouth moves fast. chaeri only reassures the shorter girl, trying to calm her down from the flustering news. it's an amusing sight; seeing mijung jump out of her calm, relaxed demeanour.

thankfully, you'd managed to stop yourself from spilling any names, and if mijung's already skipping beats at the idea of someone crushing on her, you can only imagine her usual ballerina bun undoing itself once she found out the hip-hop dancer from the studio upstairs had feelings for her.

feeling bouts of guilt and relief, you decide to head to your locker. exams are finally over; that means emptying your backpack of multiple textbooks and freeing you of weighted hell - even if that meant you would lose your only means of exercise.

"boo." you jump at the familiar voice behind you.

"halloween's so last season, zhong chenle," you turn around and get an eye-roll in response.

chenle cocks his head at the two girls heading downstairs, "what's going on with mijung?"

"why do you want to know?"

"because she doesn't usually do..." he trails off into silence. you begin to hear mijung's voice echo from two stories below, and chenle snaps his fingers, "...that."

"point taken," you try to find something in your locker to fiddle with, wanting to dismiss the conversation.

he folds his arms, leaning on the lockers in front of you. "anyways, what happened?"

you feel his gentle eyes waiting on your answer, and that's when you realise it's too late to scram.

"would you be mad if someone leaked your feelings for someone without your permission to the person you have feelings for?"

chenle thinks for a moment, "yeah."

"...don't tell me you did that," you can hear his cheery tone drop.

"to my defence, i didn't tell it was jisung," you pause, "i told chaeri, and chaeri only, that someone likes mijung." you began.

"should i tell jisung? mijung has class after this and i don't want her getting all giddy talking about crushes in front of him."

chenle tilts his head in thought, "yeah. just give him a warning. and an apology, because, you know, duh."

"fuck, i'm sorry." you sigh as you text jisung, letting a string of curses follow throughout.

"i feel like he likes her. like, like likes her. a lot." chenle nods, moving to face your back. he places his chin on your shoulder as the two of you watch jisung react with a sequence of 'oh my god's, 'shit's, and numerous variations of a keyboard smash.

chenle's hands go to your arms, rubbing it in an attempt to soothe you. "what's done is done."

still, you feel nervous. like, a queasy-weird nervous feeling from your gut or somewhere around there. somehow, it's familiar.

"yeah, i know, but-"

"have you tried the new café downtown?"

fuck. looks like the feeling isn't going away today.

"is 'not enough pocket money' a valid excuse or does that phrase just not make sense in your head?" you say sarcastically, turning your head to find him weirdly sweet-smelling. he chuckles in response, and you feel him beaming his usual ear-to-ear smile.

"i'll pay." he says nonchalantly, lifting his head from your shoulder, "plus, i don't want you to sulk over one thing you did for the next week."

"you can't buy me happiness," you retaliate, almost as if guarding your shame.

"hey, science says chocolate releases dopamine. makes you happy." he puts his arm around your shoulders. at this point, it's hard to tell whether he actually wants to get closer to you or if your shoulders are just the perfect height for an armrest. you wouldn't be surprised if it was the latter, but you're never sure about the former.

still, it feels nice.

it turns out the "café" chenle referred to was more of a "waffle and coffee stand" downtown, its tables and seats taken by groups of content faces already. chenle insists the two of you line up anyways, your and chenle's eyes targeting a certain chocolate waffle. you could practically feel the warmth radiating off of the food, and your mouth waters at the thought of fudge filling your tastebuds as an abundance of sweet and bitter scents fill your nostrils.

you see him huff cold air as he speaks, his nose turning a light shade of pink. his cheeks follow, and it's only when his eyes meet with yours that you realised two things: your face is also tinted pink, and you've been staring. panicked, you swiftly avert your eyes. you had expected an obnoxious laugh or a direct jab from his part, but to your surprise, he only smiles.

randomly, you blurt, "have you ever thought of bleaching your eyebrows?"

he laughs, and then says, "only during exam season. you know, i think it would fit on you - actually you’d look good in anything." he shrugs, earning him a confused look from you.

the worker inside the stand shouts the number on your receipt, and it takes a while for the two of you to recover from the first bites you take. it was like medicine, and the side effects were: jumping, letting out less than appropriate sounds, and annoying others around you. in other words, the waffles were stupidly good. and you watched chenle space out like he's never eaten food before.

and he gave you the stupidest smile and the stupidest laugh and did the stupidest thing: he cupped your cheeks and looked straight into your eyes and made you believe this might be about more than waffles - thankfully, he'd swallowed his bite and you laughed it off.

he calmed down a bit after that, but you still can't fathom his warm hands on your face. it just made you want to reach into your stomach with a giant net and catch all the little butterflies.

"i'll walk you home," he says, out of the blue. you knew his house was located around the block, but you didn't want to point it out. besides, he's walked you home before, and he knows his way around town by now.

"okay." you smile.

"i kind of want to get back on stage again."

"really?"

"yeah. i miss the thrill of it all, you know? just having so many peoples' eyes on me, and i honestly just love to hear everyone cheer or cry or react," he continues as the two of you wait before the crossing, "i think the most powerful thing about performing is just knowing that you're making someone feel something, whoever it is. i just- i don't know."

"no, i get it. i don't really perform at all, but i've seen how happy you get on stage."

you remember that one class trip after midterms, in the talent show. chenle and jisung signed up to perform a parody of soulja boy's "pretty boy swag" as a joke, and as stupid as the lyrics were, the crowd absolutely loved it.

you also remember surfing the internet to find videos of him singing all throughout his childhood, spamming him with links of the videos in a group chat with him. though you made fun of him, you were sure of one thing; he had a talent for it.

the light turns green, and the two of you bathe in seoul's city noises once more, different aromas of street food and soju lighting up several sections of the block.

"Y/N," he calls.

"yeah?"

"i feel like i've known you for a while," he says suddenly.

you suck in the cold air as the two of you brisk walk; you barely have any time to process what he's just said. quickly, you respond, "yeah, me too."

he catches your reaction and says again, "it's like i was meant to know you, y'know? something about you just makes me feel like i've spent lifetimes with you."

he waits for your response, but there's none. you don't know what to say. 'something about you.' something about me? what is there about me?

"how- how do you know?" it's normal for him to speak so straightforwardly, but today feels different. you can't quite put a finger on it.

"this is weird, but your voice is familiar... and comforting, now that i think about it."

how does he say that so casually?

just as you're still trying to understand his words to you, chenle gradually intertwines his hand with yours.

at first, it's okay, and you feel like the butterflies have multiplied by the hundreds. but slowly, questions start to infiltrate your mind, and you have no choice but to pull him over to talk. fortunately, you're close to your house, and where you live, the streets are much quieter than his.

you stop abruptly, turning his calm face confused.

"zhong. chenle."

"that's my name?"

"yeah," you nod, "care to explain?"

he leans in closer to you (which made two seconds seem like two years), asking for you to repeat it again. you take a deep breath.

"why do you do anything? like- with me?" all you see is a confused look.

"because i-"

"you're so casual about everything and i don't know how to feel about it because one day we're project group partners that never talk and the next you walk me the long way home!"

you start to look him up and down as you speak, your pupils going in a zig-zag pattern across the boy. you're frantic and spewing words you don't even remember wanting to say, but you're focused on him, and only him. not the sunset that's tinting his violet hair blue; not the neighbouring house gates that make him look taller than he actually his; not even the puddle he's so close to standing on it's a hair strand away from staining his jordans.

you know him, and only him and how much his hair's grown it's covering his eyes; him and how his blazer, when pulled to his elbows, makes him look a bit like a k-pop idol; him and his red, unpierced ears, which colours' still show through his hair.

"and you buy me all these treats and put your fucking arms around me and basically back hug me so many times and act like it's no big deal that i'm getting confused whether or not you want me close or if i'm just a convenient armrest?"

you genuinely feel yourself getting lightheaded. am i going crazy?

"wait, but i thought you liked that because i saw jisung do it-"

"it's different! jisung's a friend - more like a brother - and yeah, of course i like it, but with you it's different! it's like- it feels some way, like- it's just-" you trip up on your words and give up.

"i- have feelings for you." you slow down your pace.

you look up at him and realise his eyes saw you first. he smiles, again, and it's only then that you get the urge to hold his hand or snuggle into the crook of his neck.

luckily, zhong chenle's a mind reader, and he goes on to wrap his arms around you, letting your head rest on the crook of his neck as you mumble, over and over again the words i like you like you're getting used to its vowels sounding out of your throat. it's some type of warmth you don't think you'll ever get with five layers of padded jackets or stupidly good waffles - and it smells like sandalwood.

"you don't have to return my feelings, just- know that i feel this way."

"i thought it was obvious?"

you pull away from the embrace, "what was obvious?"

"i've liked you since after that trip. you know, when i injured my ankle after the talent show," he shrugs, "you just came to the nurse's area, where i was, and you just- stayed there to be with me the entire night. and from then you just always approached me and, i don't know, treated me like a person instead of a walking bank."

"and i guess it didn't seem so obvious for you because we only really got close because of jisung, who you've known for forever. but i did go out of my way a few times, though."

"wait, when?"

"for starters, i walked you home a lot, bought you lunch a few times, paid for the cake on your birthday-"

"that was you?"

he scoffs.

"oh, i see." you hit him playfully, "that's why chaeri wasn't complaining about her wallet."

"but honestly," you began, "i think i've always thought you were a great, funny guy even before the trip. i remember you on the first day of school, basically shouting through the halls with your other friends from the second and third years. and i just remember, the first time hearing you talk and thinking: you're so damn confident. and when you got hurt and nobody really came to see you, i was just like, shit - nobody's going to check on him other than jisung?"

you continue as the two of you are nearing your house, pouring out the unspoken after months and months of bottling it up.

suddenly, chenle's phone rings. it's jisung calling.

"jisung-ah! call me later-"

unable to hear jisung, you read the call through chenle's face.

"wait... HOLY SHIT SERIOUSLY?"

"DUDE-" he looks down, unintentionally meeting your eyes. his tone softens, "dude, tell me later tonight, kay? i'm... in public right now."

you raise an eyebrow at him.

"well, i'm with Y/N."

then jisung speaks again, and chenle replies with a "yeah."

"oh- okay," he puts the call on speaker. the second he does that, the first thing you hear from jisung is "Y/N! GOD BLESS YOU."

"wait- why?"

"MIJUNG JUST ASKED ME OUT!"

you look to chenle, "i-is he kidding?"

"NO I'M NOT! I ALREADY PINCHED MYSELF THRICE- THIS IS INSANE!"

chenle laughs, "when and where?"

"movies and dinner... i'm never getting over this."

"wait so... does that mean you're not mad at me anymore?"

"well, you were kind of a snitch but i guess that ended well, so... no."

"i won't snitch next time, i promise. unless-"

"Y/N, there won't be a next time! there's no way i'm gonna stop liking mijung."

"proud of you bud. call us later, yeah? we're getting on the bus right now." chenle says nonchalantly, ending the call just like that.

"why did you lie?"

he grins and takes your hand in his, "why do you think?"

"oh, shut up," you laugh, reaching up to peck his cheek goodbye.

he looks at you, shocked, making you two simultaneously burst into laughter together. 

“ya! your breath smells like waffles!”

#nct #nct dream #chenle #zhong chenle #park jisung #waffles #fluff #nct dream fluff #kpop imagines #kpop #fanfic #imagine #au #high school

[xxisxxisxxis]

Gateway Drug | Part Forty-Five

Table of Content or Part Forty-Four

Read HERE on Wattpad

Words: 3.1K

Warning(s): Explicit language, sexual situations, mentions of drug abuse

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Five days detoxing at Doc's house+rehab+therapy=road to recovery=out of the woods. It's the magical equation I swore up and down wouldn't end in "Error."

The few dishes on the counter shatter into the floor once Nikki roughly sits me on it, his fingers digging into my thighs that wrap securely around him, our tongues twisting as we tug and pull at each other's clothes.

I get his pants undone as he pulls the towel from around my body, taking a handful of my soaking wet hair in his hand and tugging my head back to leave bites and bruises up and down my neck, causing me to hum in pleasure while my core pulses with anticipation to be filled by him.

Moving myself to the edge of the counter, spreading my legs as he runs his fist up and down his length a few times, I take heavy breaths, a wash of shame coming over me for a moment because this is the complete opposite of what we were instructed to do. 

But fuck the "no contact" rule. 

I've barely had any contact with him the past few months because he's been stoned or drunk. Telling me to practically ignore and avoid him for 30 days straight is like waving a loaded syringe in an addict's face before sitting it down in front of them and leaving them alone after telling them "okay I know it's right there and it's the one thing you struggle most to control yourself around, but don't even look at it."

Fuck that, and Nikki. And I refuse to walk around my own house anymore and not do the latter of those two.

The indescribable feeling of him pushing into me has my head tipping back , and my eyes closing as the both of us let out content sighs. 

I put my weight on one of my hands that rests on the counter beside me, the other hand wrapped around the back of Nikki's neck, as he moves in and out of me ferociously and I meet him thrust for thrust.

Let's take a step back and catch up on how he and I had gotten to that point.

Eight Days Earlier

"You two can detox at my place, check into rehab, come out when you're better and we'll go from there." Doc explains to Nikki and Tansy as they both sit on our couch.

"W-What about the press? Or my mom?" Tansy asks him nervously, fumbling with the tag on the throw blanket she's enveloped in.

"You let me deal with your mom and the media, alright?" Doc assures her. 

"Surely your mom won't be pissed at you for getting help, Tans." I try to tell her and she rubs her lips together.

"People will know I have a problem if I got to rehab." She points out. "It'll make me look bad."

"Having to cover your entire body with makeup to hide the discoloration of your skin and the track marks, looks bad, Tansy. Screw what people think. At least you're admitting you need help." I say and she doesn't reply, just looking at Nikki to gauge his reaction to all of this.

He looks pissed, but too tired and defeated to give a shit enough to argue with me anymore about it.

"What's the point of rehab if I'm just gonna end up kicking it at Doc's place?" Nikki asks me and I let out a breath.

"Because rehab will teach you coping mechanisms that Doc can't, Nikki. It won't take that long for you to get out if you just try your best at it." I reply and he scoffs. 

"So, what, you're babysitting me at Doc's until I'm done throwing up, shitting myself, and having hot and cold flashes and then shipping me off for a few weeks?" He cuts his dead eyes at me and Doc and I exchange looks.

"Well, it depends on how quickly you adjust to rehab and make a turn around, as to how soon you can get out...so it might be more than a few weeks." Doc informs him. "And Bob has already scheduled you and Viv an appointment with a marriage therapist."

"Well if I'm spending more than three weeks in rehab there's no point in working on our marriage." 

"The program you'll be in includes this particular therapist who's currently working on creating a schedule for Vivian to come visit you often and you two have your sessions bi-weekly." Doc states and Nikki rolls his jaw, looking at me.

"Is this what you really want? Your husband gone for weeks on end until some quack gives me a certificate and a gold star because I went 'X' amount of time without shooting up?" He harshly questions me and I rub my lips together.

I think of the reasons Nikki didn't spend more than three days in rehab the first time he went, was because A.) He refused to believe in a higher power, and B.) He didn't go to rehab because he knew he had a problem and wanted to get better, he went to rehab to appease the people around him because he felt we were twisting his arm until he gave up and cried "mercy" a.k.a "fine I'll go, just as long as you shut the fuck up and get off my back about it."

I look at him for a moment, studying his knotted hair, his yellow skin, his shot eyes, his weak appearance, before saying:

"I'd rather you hate me for a little while for getting you help, instead of waking up and trying to convince myself to continue to live in a world with no Nikki Sixx in it."

"We're not indestructible, Nikki." Tansy adds softly, knowing very well she and he both need help.

He doesn't say anything else.

She had Doc and I convinced she wanted help...but truth be told Nikki actually went to rehab while Tansy had Duff come get her from Doc's house.

She knew she had a severe problem, but the only time Tansy would "clean up" was when she gave her veins a break, out of fear of completely losing them, and was muscling smack. She would fall back on pills and lots of booze, then when some of her veins would start reviving themselves back from their smaller size, she would start up again.

I can't even say how much money she and her mother were paying people to keep quiet to the media. 

Nobody could know perfect Tansy Lyn, Playboy's Barbie Doll, was so broken inside that she repeatedly destroyed her body, let it rebuild, and wrecked it again. 

It must have been a punch in the face to her mom when Tansy came clean in '88 and admitted she had struggled with addiction and was going into rehab...and an even harder punch in the face when she came back in into the spotlight in 1989, dropping her stage name "Tansy Lyn" and dawning "Tansalyn Rose" after marrying Axl, and practically confessed every grimy detail of her obsession with hard drugs and alcohol since 1981, and why she started them to cope with what was happening behind the scenes of the brutal modeling industry. 

In 1990, her vision-come-to-life, "I Won't Just Smile", was born. It started as a campaign to raise awareness against sexual abuse, exploitation, and coercion in all corners of the modelling industry, then stemmed into an organization that offered free services to victims of addiction and abuse, from rehab to post-assault counseling and everything in between.

Years of Diane's hard work to create her daughter's untouchable persona, completely shattered.

I was just thrilled Tansy had turned her struggles around and used them to help others, but first, she would have to face a handful of overdoses, one of which nearly killed her, have a section of her liver cut out, and have a temporary pace-maker.

All of it just made Axl more strict about drugs. Not just for the sake of the band and the fans, but he was afraid some members of Guns in particular would pull Tansy back into the merry-go-round of addiction after she got clean.

"You're telling me I can't stay with him and Tansy?" I ask Doc harshly in a whisper once the four of us get to his house.

"You won't want to stay, Viv. I'm telling you, they're gonna pull out all the stops to get you to cave and get them some smack because they'll be in so much pain. I don't want you to see them like that and I don't want you to compromise their recovery." He explains.

"You think I would do that?!"

"I know you would if it came down to it." He states and I roll my jaw. "This isn't just little flu symptoms and some body aches. They will feel like they are going to die, they will look like they are going to die and I cannot trust you not to give in." His brutal honesty. "You'll be able to see them in about a week, they'll be better by then and then we can look at the next step. Got it?"

I just glare at him.

"Go kiss 'em 'bye' and fuck off." He says next, waving his hand at me dismissively as he goes to my car to grab Nikki's bag and his car to grab Tansy's.

I step back into the living room to tell them 'bye' but stop myself, deciding it's better to let Doc deal with Nikki's pissed off temper when he discovers I won't be staying with them.

Grabbing my car keys from the table by the door, I head the house.

When I get back to our house, I check the machine that's blinking a light to signal a missed call.

I go to the kitchen and get a glass of water as Slash's voice slurs through the speaker.

"H-Hey, Viv, um...uh...we..." I chuckle at his incoherent mumbling and step to the phone to call him back as another message starts playing where his left off.

"Viv," It's Duff. "Call us back as soon as you can."

I furrow my brows a little, about to dial them back until yet another message comes on.

"Viv, we got signed!" Steven's screaming has me dropping my water and the phone, joy coursing through the soles of my feet up to my hair, and I'm running around and screaming along with his recorded message loudly blaring his own excitement.

I run back to the phone and pick it up, dialing their apartment.

"We got signed!" Steven's voice is shouting at me before the phone even rings a single ring.

"When?! How?! By who?!" I say back.

"We'll tell you over dinner because guess who got $7,500 cash advances?! The same mother fuckers who've been stealing from strippers to get by, that's who!" He exclaims.

"Yeah, don't ever tell people you guys did that!" I say in the same tone. "Lemme change and I'll be over there, okay?"

"Okay." He replies, and I can just hear his smile through the phone.

I hang up and give one last scream of happiness before sprinting to get changed and leave.

Tom Zutaut, the same man responsible for giving Mötley Crüe their shot, had given the same shot to Guns N' Roses.

They had signed to Geffen Records, and although that was their second goal--the first was getting a band together--they knew the main goal was to release their first album, and hopefully, have it a success.

Before I can even knock on the door, it's swinging open and Steven's like a puppy, jumping around, waiting on me by the door.

I hug him tightly, trying to keep myself from crying with immense relief that they're one step closer--a giant step closer--to their dream.

When we pull away from each other, Duff holds his hand up for me to give him a high-five and I do, his fingers locking with my hand to pull me into a hug and I'm sandwiched between him and Steven momentarily.

A flash catches my eye and we pull away from each other to see a girl with short, blonde hair, that I've never seen before, holding a camera.

"That's gonna be a good one." She tells us, smiling at Duff as the Polaroid deposits.

Mandy Brixx, member of the punk band, Lotus Lame and The Lame Flames, was a cute girl with bleach blonde hair, beautiful brown eyes and a captivating smile...and was also Duff's first wife.

Mandy wasn't perfect, but she didn't disown Duff after he told her he had gotten me pregnant.

Even though he didn't cheat on her with me, and they had been broken up for about six months when he and I got involved, I know it hurt her knowing he had hooked up with the woman she was sure she didn't have to worry about when they dated. They ended up getting back together in 1988 and got married the same year.

They divorced two years later because something just "changed" and neither of them were happy, but I've always respected her because she was really good to Monroe.

His second wife, however, was crazier than a run over dog because she was always on something.

The last time I saw her in 1993, she had said something crass and rude to Tansy and before Tansy could reply, I was asking Linda, "were you born a cunt or does the crack just bring it out of you?"

She swung on me and I swung back. Except when I throw a punch, I make sure it lands.

Maybe she would've actually hit me if her equilibrium weren't as fried as her brain.

I would've kicked her ass if Duff and Matt Sorum hadn't pulled me off of her.

I hope she got her shit together after they divorced in 1995.

I guess bass players and crack-head models go hand-in-hand...

"Viv, this is my girlfriend, Mandy." Duff introduces me. "Mandy, this is my best friend, Viv."

"Hi, it's good to finally meet you." Mandy tells me with a gentle smile and I extend my hand to her.

"You, too." I reply as she takes my hand in her's, my eyes subtly flickering to Duff now that he's standing beside her, silently asking him when the hell he was going to tell me about his girlfriend.

"I'll tell you later." He mouths to me where she can't see and I just keep smiling as she strikes up conversation with me.

Once we get to the Rainbow, Steven and I are a few steps in front of Duff and Mandy, the blonde drummer letting out a little sigh.

"What is it?" I ask, nudging him.

"Just worried about Tansy." He admits, and I raise my brows. "It's not like that, Viv, I swear." He promises. "She's a cool person, is all. I wish she was here to celebrate this with us."

"I'm sure she'll be thrilled to hear about it when you're allowed to go visit her in rehab." I remind him. "Where's the guys?" I ask next as we step into the Rainbow.

"Slash is hanging out with this chick he met a couple weeks ago, Izzy's with his girl friend and I don't know where Axl is." He tells me and I nod. "So it's just a double date for us tonight." He grins widely, winking at me slickly.

After hours of just goofing off, talking, eating and demonstrating our celebration of Guns' stepping stone, Mandy's calling it a night.

"I'll call you later, Duff." She says to him as she grabs her jacket and he stands up to let her scoot out of the booth.

"Sounds good, babe." He replies, kissing her cheek.

"It was really nice to meet you." She tells me.

"It was nice to meet you, too." I reply.

"Bye." She smiles one last time at Duff, waving to Steven before leaving.

"When did you me--"

"Viv, lemme out." Steven interrupts me and I furrow my brows.

"What?"

"Lemme out, there's a hot girl at the bar and she just waved me over. I wanna get laid. Lemme out." He pleads and I roll my eyes and scoot out so he can stand up.

He does so, heading straight to the bar to try his luck with a beautiful brunette.

And then there were two.

"You were saying?" Duff chuckles out when Steven's gone and I smile a little.

"When did you and Mandy meet?" I ask him and he lets out a breath of cigarette smoke.

"Uh, a month ago, maybe? She gave me her number and I went back and forth with myself until I convinced myself to call her." He explains. "We spent the weekend together so I guess we get along pretty good. She's a great girl."

"She seems nice." I tell him, tucking a strand of my hair behind my ear.

"Yeah, she is." He agrees, taking another drag of his cigarette.

I take a sip of my water and sit in the silence that falls over us before noticing he's staring at me.

"What?" I ask him.

"You wanna go somewhere with me?" He offers, putting his cigarette out.

"Where?"

"C'mon." He stands up, nodding to the door.

"But Steven--"

"--Is about to go mess around with that girl in the bathroom. He's not gonna be mad if we leave him." He adds. "C'mon, you'll like where we go."

"If you say so." I shrug.

He pays the bill and the two of us head back to their apartment so he can get his car.

I know I should have been at home by the phone, waiting for a call from Doc or Nikki or Tansy, but it was pointless to sit at home and worry when I couldn't do anything about it anyway.

When we get to where we're going, Duff is parking his car in the lot of an abandoned building, and I glance around to see there's not much traffic around us.

"Is this the part where you murder me?" I ask him and he busts out in laughter, shaking his head.

"This is where Mandy and her band rehearses." He explains.

"Why're we here?"

"I picked her up here the other day and noticed something you might like." He gets out the car and opens his trunk, pulling out a shopping bag.

"Duff..." I say, uneasy as we approach the rusted door.

"Shh, I got it." He digs in his jacket pocket and plucks out a worn key, unlocking the dead bolt and the door knob.

I follow him inside, and he switches on a light switch, only one light beam in the ceiling comes on, and in the large, dim room, I see a large mirrored wall, sleek but worn out wood floors, and I turn to see Duff holding out a brand new pair of pointe shoes to me.

I wasn't going to tell him I'd gone so long without dancing that I'd have to work my way back up to dancing on pointe, because he'd spent money for the shoes and they looked to be around my size and I didn't want to know how observant he had to be to estimate my shoe size in terms of ballet...so I did something I was really good at doing at that time in my life.

I kept myself from crying.

I knew Duff was going to be a constant encourager in my life when he held those shoes out to me and so easily, so confidently, said:

"You've supported and helped me get into my groove of things to start accomplishing my dream. Now, I'm helping you get back into your's."

#nikki sixx #tommy lee #vince neil #mötley crüe #gateway drug

[hogwartsmc]

One more curse to break.

Drabble : friendship

Words: 2341

(Mc is a hufflepuff, her name is Lucie, it's her point of view.)

-Guys you need to help me!

She came to a stop at the table her friends were having breakfast at, taking a painful deep breath. She had come running as fast as she could from the hufflepuff dorms and now her lungs felt like they were on fire.

-What's wrong? Ben asked, obviously panicked.

-It's Rowan! She breathed deeply.

-What happened? Is she hurt? Badeea inquired in concern.

-Worse! She's reading!

They all stared at her in silence. The utter stupidity of her words were baffling.

-I don't get it. Barnaby chuckled nervously. Isn't that what she always does?

-We live with her and you just realised that? Penny raised an eyebrow.

-Its different! Lucie huffed and puffed. She was still out of breath. I think it's a cursed book!

Ben gasped at her words. Tulip and Jae seemed to have suddenly gotten interested in her story. Barnaby seemed uneasy and the rest just looked at her skeptically.

-Do you have any reasons to believe the book is cursed? Charlie finally asked.

-She can't put it down!

-Well.. Bill tried to find a way to phrase it nicely. She kind of always has a book with her. Did you never realise?

Lucie sighed deeply. If only she could breathe properly, she could explain what she meant. Now they just thought she was as dumb as a rock.

-How about you sit down, calm down a little and then explain yourself. Tonks offered.

Lucie nodded and sat next to Jae. She focused on her breathing and after a couple minutes she felt better.

-Ok, i'm good. She signaled.

Her friends turned to her once again.

-She's been reading this book for a week now. And we all know how much of a fast reader she is so that's already one thing that doesn't make sense. Second, she reads during class and doesn't listen to the teachers.

-That is weird! Badeea exclaimed.

-Also, when i woke up in the middle of the night because of my insomnia, she was reading again! And the same book she'd been reading all day!

She could see her friends were a bit more receptive now. But they didn't seem to understand the urgency of the situation yet.

-And this morning, she was reading again. And i asked her if she'd slept and she just hummed.

She made a dramatic pause. Looking her friends in the eyes.

-I was looking for a way to get her attention. So i told her i had pictures of Bill shirtless.

Bill choked on his toast.

-And she didn't even bat an eye. Lucie continued, undisturbed. I'm really worried guys!

-Rewind a bit there. Penny said.

-You have shirtless pictures of Bill? Charlie frowned.

-That's not what matters. She rolled her eyes.

-Yes it does. Bill screamed out.

-You should have showed her shirtless pictures of Barnaby. Tulip sighed.

-Yeah he got more pecs! Tonks nodded.

-Am i even hearing this right now? Andre said dejectedly.

-You didn't take those pictures in the Gryffindor dorms right. Ben clutched the front of his robes.

-I know some people who'd be interested in paying for these pictures. Jae hunched closer to her. If you’ve got some snaps of Charlie and Barnaby too that could have it's worth.

Barnaby shrugged, seemingly clueless while Charlie turned a deep shade of red.

-Guys? Lucie called them, jaded. I don't actually have pictures of Bill! I'm not a pervert.

Bill sighed in relief and the rest just let out a silent oh.

-It's good to know you're not a stalker. Badeea solemnly said.

-Why didn't you ask for pictures of me? Andre asked Jae, indignantly. I'm a catch!

-As i said. Jae calmly explained. I personally know people who'd be interested in those pictures.

-I would. Tulip confessed.

-Lucie, you're one of these people aren't you? Tonks winked.

-What? Why would i pay for pictures that i took, that'd be so dumb!

-Not the most outrageous part of the story Lucie. Penny pointed out.

-I can't believe no one would buy my pictures! Andre sulked.

-I can't believe anyone would buy mine! Barnaby stated, eyes wide.

-Jae, you can't sell compromising pictures of people. Bill howled. That's an invasion of privacy!

-Well i don't actually do it, but as Lucie had pictures i thought i'd be nice if i could profit off of it.

-You still had the intent to and that's just as bad!

-Guys, Rowan! Lucie reminded them. We need to stage an intervention to sneak on her, pry the book off of her hands, burn it  three times and then cleanse her soul.

-What was the last part? Badeea asked.

-Cleanse her soul?

-Yeah… why?

-Because she was cursed! You can't just obsess over a book like that, for no reason, all of a sudden. No book is that good! Even Lord of the rings!

-What now? Bill shot her a confused look.

-It's a muggle trilogy, i was reading it and she got curious so i lended her the books. Ben explained in an apologetic tone.

-That's right, those three books that were meant to be one by its author are masterpieces. Way better than those stupid Lockhart books people read, which proves we can only benefit from living along with muggles! They have the best of culture and entertainment! Queen, Tolkien, The Beatles, Jacques Brel and so much more that i can't think of right now!

Silence.

-Anyway. She cleared her throat. Who's got any ideas on how to save Rowan?

-I say we grab her and stuck her head in cold water.

-To snap her out of her trance or just for the heck of it, Tulip? Penny accusingly asked.

-I was trying to help! Tulip shot Penny an offended look. At least i'm doing something, unlike that one over there who's staring at his freaking sausage!

Lucie couldn't help a snort from leaving her lips. Her friends all had amused looks on their faces, aside from Charlie who looked positively  horrified.

-I meant the one on his plate. Tulip added. Just in case…

-You ok there, Charles? Bill smirked.

-I'm fine! Charlie half-screamed.

Lucie bit her lips to keep herself from laughing and further embarrass the redhead.

-So should we stick with Tulip's plan or what?

-It can be plan b. Penny said.

-We should try and see if we can distract her from her book in some other, nicer way. Andre said.

-Come on Bill. Tonks sighed. Take off your shirt.

-Not funny. Bill groaned.

-I was thinking of asking her to explain to us the political context of the Goblin Rebellion. Andre cocked an eyebrow. But that may be a better idea.

-What? Bill choked on his juice this time. No way!

-Ooh! Naked Bill! Tulip exclaimed.

The students around them turned to look over at their table. Merula who was sitting at slytherin's table shot them an aggravated look before shaking her head. Liz, who sometimes hung out with them, was sporting an amused expression.

But the best part was the seemingly disappointed looks on a couple students’ faces at the sight of a fully clothed. Bill.

-They are people who'd be interested! Lucie said in disbelief.

-Oh for god's sake! Bill let out a frustrated sigh.

-I'm surprised they're so many girls who have yet to see you naked. Penny pensively said.

Bill glared at her and Penny just shrugged. Not impressed in the slightest.

-They probably want a souvenir to remember the good times by. Charlie smirked.

The eldest Weasley reached out for his wand but Badeea stopped him.

-Don't. I need to immortalise this moment.

-Why?! He asked in frustration.

-There are so many emotions at play. Badeea dreamily said.

-Ok, naked Bill is a really nice idea. Lucie said, ignoring the latter's furious glare. But we want to get Rowan out of her obsession, not get her into another one. So i say, we go with Andre's idea. If it doesn't work we use Tulip's plan.

-Ravenclaw rules! Tulip exclaimed, a huge grin on her face.

-Not at quidditch. Charlie said smugly.

They spent the rest of the day trying to catch Rowan between classes but as soon as the bell rang, she disappeared.

But their chance came as they made their way to the great hall to eat at noon. She was discussing fervently with Nearly-headless Nick and didn't realise they were there until Barnaby and Bill grabbed her arms.

-Wha.. Rowan couldn't finish as her friends were dragging her to the nearest closet.

Once they were all in, Badeea locked the door and they all turned to Rowan. Her eyes were wide and her mouth was opened in confusion.

-What are you guys doing? She finally screamed at them. I almost had a heart attack. You can't sneak up on people like that!

-Where's the book? Lucie demanded.

-What? Rowan looked around, even more confused than before. Do you mean your brother's journal?

-No your book! Lucie dramatically said. The one you can't put down, even during class. We know it's cursed.

Rowan gaped at her. What was Lucie on about this time?

-Not everything's cursed… You know that, right? Rowan asked softly.

-I know, but that book is! Otherwise, why would you turn down naked pictures of Bill!

-What?! Rowan let out a shriek, her cheeks reddening immediately.

-They were shirtless pictures! Bill screamed out. And they don't even exist! He quickly added.

-Adds a little spice to the story. Lucie calmly said.

-Why would i even want to see that! Rowan shout in a high voice.

-Heu… Curiosity? Tonks tried to help Rowan out. But she just groaned and hid her face in her hands.

-Just give us the book! Tulip tempted.

-My book is perfectly normal, it's a simple story. Rowan protested, her cheeks flaming red.

-Then you won't mind us taking a look, right?. Andre intervened.

Rowan let out a frustrated groan.

-I don't want to!

-Why not? If it's a regular book, we'll let it go immediately. Charlie tried to reason with her.

-No way! Why do you believe Lucie and not me?!

-Yeah they didn't. Lucie cleared out. But i had compelling evidence. I had them beg on their knees for forgiveness.

-Don't say that so seriously, i almost believed you. Barnaby complained.

-You were there though Barnaby. Penny raised an eyebrow.

-That's what's creepy. He nodded.

-Now i'm anxious. Ben shivered.

-You are all out of your minds. Rowan made a move to get out of the closet but all her friends were in the way.

-We just want to check the book, make sure everything's fine. Penny softly said.

Rowan sighed as she crossed her arms on her chest.

-If we're wrong, we'll make it up to you. Ben said.

Rowan glared at her friends before reaching for the book inside her bag. They held their breath as she lifted it up. Lucie reached for it, catching it with the tip of her fingers, trying to minimize contact.

She was taking a dramatic deep breath, readying herself to open the book when it was snatched from her.

She turned to Penny startled.

-”Moonlight Stroll” Penny read aloud.

-What? Andre asked, dumbfounded. It's a romance book?

-”An epic love story between a handsome werewolf and a young girl so beautiful she could be a veela.” Badeea read over Penny's shoulder.

-Oh god, these werewolves love story are so stupid. Tonks rolled her eyes.

-You worried us for this?! Jae turned to Lucie, unamused. A stupid romance novel.

-It's not stupid! Rowan defended her book, cheeks red.

-I can't believe you turned down shirtless Bill for that. Tulip shook her head.

-Can i get my book back now?! Rowan glared at them.

-No! Lucie sent the book flying away. Penny, Badeea and Charlie had to crouch down to avoid getting hit.

-What are you doing? Bill shot her a confused look.

-The book is trying to fool you! It has the appearance of a bad quality soap opera romance novel. Rowan groaned. But it has a hidden hypnotic message..

-Of course it does! Ben groaned. That way you buy all the sequels and the author makes a ton of money. Even muggle books do that, it has nothing to do with magic or curses.

-Oh.. Lucie said. Really?

-What a waste of my time. Jae sighed. No pictures. No cursed books… Although we could do something about the pictures.

-Get out of here! Bill got pissed.

Jae shrugged before doing as he was told. They all followed him out, there was no point in them staying any longer in the cupboard.

Bill went on his way, groaning. Badeea and Penny excused themselves as for Andre and Barnaby, they left for the quidditch pitch.

Lucie got the book back from where she tossed it and gave it back to Rowan with an apologetic smile.

-Sorry. She tried. I was being a total shithead.

-It's okay. I know you meant well. Rowan shyly smiled. But you shouldn't judge a book by it's cover.

-Rowan. Lucie frowned. The summary sucks too.

-Everyone reads it, even old ladies! Rowan reddened again.

-Yeah well, old ladies have a weird craving for soft porn. Tulip said.

-What?

-Just my grandmother then. Tulip shrugged as Tonks was laughing so hard she tripped on the carpet.

-It's okay Rowan, i'll lent you “Lord of the rings”. Lucie put an arm around her friend's shoulders. There are three books.

-They're not yours to lend. Charlie laughed

-It's okay. Ben shrugged. She loves them so much i can't take them back.

-Are there dragons in them?

-No. Ben paused. Although there's one mentioned in the book that takes place before the trilogy. But he's not exactly the hero…

-Does it talk? Charlie excitedly asked.

-Yeah he does. Do you want me to lend you the book?

-Yeah, that'd be awesome.

-You guys should really give a go to romance books you know.

Rowan's words were met by a long silence.

-You guys suck. She sighed.

-But you still love us. Lucie laughed.

The end

#hphm #hogwarts mystery #hufflepuff #hphm mc #gryffindor #ravenclaw #hogwarts #jacob's sibling #slytherin #tonks #tulip karasu #charlie weasley #bill weasley #rowan khanna #penny haywood #ben copper #andre egwu #barnaby lee #badeea ali #hufflepuff mc #jae kim #nymphadora tonks #merula snyde #hphm drabble #friendship drabble #liz tuttle #lucie allen

[abbyissharp]

I feel like I need to explain.

For starters, Abby has been a part of my life for years at this point. Writing her is a wonderful outlet and distraction for me. However, things lately have been bad for my mental health. Nothing Tumblr related. Just real world things that I cannot help or fix.

Let's start with work. Last week was difficult. The whole week was just terrible. From little mistakes to literally being told they were kicking me off the firm's insurance because my chronic illness drives the premium up. The latter actually caused one of the worst anxiety attacks I've experienced in a long while, and I still haven't fully recovered. Not really. On top of that, everything that could go wrong did.

Then there's the whole holiday season thing. First of all, it's sucked ever since my dad got sick on 2017. Now that he's gone, I really don't care about it very much. There were so many traditions that were specially tied to him that I simply cannot make myself feel anything but a deep sadness.

And let's not forget that the holidays can force us to be around family members we would rather not be around. So...if you know, you know.

When I get like this, I try to reach out to people more on here. To try to talk and be social because I adore all of the people that I try with, but usually my focus isn't very good. I drop conversations or they don't get much further than the "How are you?" stage. And forget even trying to plot or asking if people want to plot or throwing random starters at people. Because, y'know, I don't want to bother anyone or be considered a nuisance.

And thus, at nearly 1 AM when I should be sleeping and my mind feels like it's been put in a blender, the thought crosses my mind for the first time in a few years, I should retire Abby. An incredibly irrational thought that I know I don't need to take seriously. Because I would miss everyone. I would miss her. So right now, I'm not saying I am or I'm not. I'm going to put on some ASMR and see how I feel in the morning.

#tw chronic illness #tw mental health #tw anxiety #tw death

[qforqazaq]

Black Dial: The Drama

You've probably heard the latest news from the Q-pop world: L and Teddy are no longer in Black Dial.

Hmm, where shall I start?

***Disclaimer: For the convenience of the foreign fans who aren't sure what has actually happened, I tried to recreate the sequence of events to get some exposition first. I've missed some details here and there, because this was already getting too long.***

It all began when the producers of YB Entertainment posted the announcement saying that the official Instagram accounts of L, Teddy, Ray and Black Dial were hacked, so from now on everything that's going to be posted on those pages has nothing to do with YB. "Okay, the pages got hacked, whatever, it happens, no big deal", I thought. BUT! After awhile I've noticed (first ever) IG stories posted on L's and Teddy's accounts with the actual L and Teddy recording each other while giddily saying something like "Did you know that we were hacked?" - "Lol, no, did we?" - "Yeah, they say we were hacked. I am hacked, you are hacked, comeback is hacked too, hahaha".

Obviously, everyone got even more confused, like, why the hell would the producers call the accounts hacked if they were obviously not. I mean those were real L and Teddy, right?

Meanwhile, I started to read some comments about L and Teddy and something about leaving the group, which got me a huge "Wait WHAT. WTF??? Are you bloody kidding me??" moment.

I obviously couldn't believe my eyes, because, what the hell, first Newton, now Black Dial, are you for real?? When I was about to start doubting these rumours while frantically looking for more info, there came interviews from the official press conference by YB Entertainment.

There, Yesbolat Bedelkhan with Bayan and Bota Yerimbet have formally announced that Yeskeldi Quandyq, formerly known as L, and Samat Kazmaganbet, formerly known as Teddy, were no longer the members of Black Dial, that the company had terminated their contracts, the main reason being consistent violation of the contractual terms by the former members. Moreover, according to the producers, the stage names "L" and "Teddy" and all the social media accounts belong to YB Entertainment and they cannot be used by the members should the contract be terminated.

To say I was shocked is to say nothing. Because, apparently, L and Teddy have not just left the group - they were kicked out. Not only that, they basically kicked themselves out by consistently showing insubordination, disobedience, and violation of terms in many occasions. Without feeling much remorse about it too, it seems, as they didn't look very sad on those Instagram stories - that's for sure.

To make the matter worse, they had no rights to use those Instagram accounts anymore, which explained the earlier announcement about "hacking".

Frankly, that was a lot to take in, and while I was desperately trying to make sense out of whatever was happening out there, all hell let loose. Interestingly - on the producers. Because a horde or rather a flock of angry fangirls or "Ravens" started to shout accusations at the producers, blaming them in all deadly sins. According to them, it was all producers' fault, because they intentionally kicked their "biases" out; how did they dare to be so unfairly strict with them; they were shitty producers in the first place; they should have made their comeback sooner instead of postponing it; the whole "hacking" incident was made to sabotage the members' reputations, and their beloved L and Teddy did the right thing leaving this horrible company.

As for me, these accusations sounded too heated and not very convincing especially when I took a step back and started to actually think about it.

Well, let's break it down, shall we?

First of all, the question of fairness seems super childish, because we're talking about actual legal binding contracts, not some sandbox tantrums that can be resolved by shoving lollipops in kids' mouths. If one signed a contract, it is assumed that both of the parties were aware of and agreed to all of the terms in the first place. In other words, if you in a sober mind signed a legal document, complaining about stuff that you can't eventually commit to afterwards won't work. Why the hell one would even sign a contract in the first place then?

Secondly, do you really think the contract was that strict? Okay, stricter than, idk, a contract signed by the guys from 91? I do very much doubt it. I'm more than sure Yerbolat isn't that chill and understanding compared to his younger brother.

Thirdly, Black Dial is the only active project of YB Entertainment (Darrem doesn't really count) aka literally the company's only flagship product that was supposed to get its long-awaited comeback. Think about it: who the hell in their right minds, in such a crucial moment, would kick out members from the only existing group without a legitimate reason? No one. And there was one reason, a few actually, wasn't there? Moreover, according to Yesbolat Bedelkhan, they've tried very hard to keep the group intact, to smooth out those cases of disobedience and insubordination, closing their eyes to most of them. But I guess, the situation got completely out of control, so terminating the contracts was the last resort.

Fourthly, haven't you thought that the comeback was being postponed over the course of, what, 9 months? exactly because of the internal problems and conflicts inside BD and YB? What if the producers weren't sure if they could proceed should have the said members continued to "misbehave". Which they apparently did, so better cut ties earlier than later, with only one MV, and one more released song.

Next, the "hacking" incident. According to Yesbolat Bedelkhan, sometime around February 14, when BD was supposed to record a video to mark the date, L and Teddy have completely disappeared from radar, not answering anyone's calls and/or messages. The producers even tried to reach their parents at some point, to ask if everything was alright with the boys. Strangely, the parents were not reachable as well, because apparently they have changed their contacts too. Later, the producers discovered that they couldn't access official IG accounts of L, Teddy, Ray and Black Dial, because someone changed their passwords. I suppose it was then they guessed it was L and Teddy's doings, which I assume was the final blow.

Finally, Yesbolat believes that someone from outside have persuaded the boys to sabotage their own places at YB Entertainment. A certain someone with a personal grudge against YB producers. I have my guesses and I won't be surprised if this someone will collaborate with those two at some point in the future too.

Show business sucks, doesn't it.

_________________________________

Don't get me wrong, by making a case for YB Entertainment, I don't want to imply that Yeskeldi and Samat are inherently bad people or anything. Okay, I must admit I had my problems with Teddy and tbh wasn't very sad to know he has left the group (yeah, I'm crude), but I did respect L very much, coming to admire his capacity for songwriting when I took on that challenge at translating their songs (Bul Soni Yemes is a lyrical masterpiece. Period.), regarding him as a very thoughtful young man. Despite personal preferences, I didn't want anyone to leave the group in any circumstances, always hoping and betting on them to settle at least on the second place in Q-pop.

In other words, waking up to a news like this has brought me no pleasure. Further unfolding only left a bitter taste in the mouth and the feeling that you were viciously played.

However, I do still think that it was, pardon my French, totally a dick move to leave everyone and everything just like that, without a decent explanation, a formal apology to the fans at the very least. Leaving by making a public drama out of it, while openly gloating in the social media, abandoning the company, the producers and the other members who counted on them so much.

Was it fair? I think not.

I do wish them luck in whatever they're planning to do though, just to see if it was actually worth the drama, huh.

And I do certainly wish the best of luck to YB Entertainment, to the producers and the remaining vocalists in remedying the whole situation, so to speak.

And what now? Yes, YB is having their casting in search for their new rappers and everything, but what does it tell about the whole "Q-pop movement"?

It's impaled, sick and haven't even grown out legs to stand upright and move properly. People are leaving the groups whenever they want, groups changing the label companies however they want, the entertainment centres are opening and closing at flick of the fingers, and we only have about eh.. 3.5 groups who are actually doing something now? With Black Dial on the resting bed, those would be Ninety One, Mad Men, Moonlight and sort of Newton~. Considering that I'm already very cautious with the latter, skeptical with the second, and Moonlight just doesn't excite me very much, we're coming to the default settings of just clinging to the founders for now while just observing everyone else from the distance.

Nice.

What do you think though? What was the reason for BD having so many problems with its former rappers?

Is Q-pop actually going to crumble to pieces even before it becomes anything substantial?

Feel free to comment and share, and please do leave a like at least. I've been writing this for ages after all.

[douchebagbrainwaves]

WHY I'M SMARTER THAN ANYTHING

A fundraising, and decide they should raise money too, since that seems to be in a hundred years. No idea In a sense, it's not a switch to Apple, but a famous speaker. Many are right. Bill Gates who achieve nothing. When searching for ideas, look in areas where you have some expertise. So there is obviously not a fixed amount of wealth in the world for granted. And if you don't get told what to do very much. But it's lame to clutter up the semantics of the language, which could in principle be written in C. Good software designers are no more engineers than architects are. No first use of software patents against companies with less than 25 people.

Sometimes you get excited about some new project and you want to encourage startups in a particular city, you have worse problems to worry about this, it is possible to raise too much. And my main computer except when I need to be able to sell some of their own.1 How did things get this way? So even if the problem is important enough to build a wall of a given size. Saying less about implementation should also make programs more flexible. Use difficulty as a guide not just in selecting the overall aim of your company total, it starts to get harder to raise an A round.2 In ancient Rome the price of a football stadium, any town that was decent to live in a giant city of three or four years. Are there better ways to solve them?

If an adult says that's a stupid idea, is simply to look the other person is.3 You just can't expend any attention on it so you can get is by selling your startup in the early stages, giving up upside and risk for a smaller but guaranteed payoff.4 Or more importantly, who's in it: if the study of ancient texts is a valid field for scholarship, why not modern texts? When Lisp first appeared, these ideas were far removed from ordinary programming practice, which was dictated largely by the hardware available in the late 19th century the study of ancient texts was still the backbone of the curriculum. It's not just the classes that make a university such a good place to crank oneself into the future. Why is it so important to work on projects that seem like they'd be cool. Why didn't anyone think of it before? What's really happening is that startup-controlled rounds. Number of users may not be so naive as it sounds. So when you get rich is that a real essay, you can build all the rest at playing chess or writing novels, making money is a very specialized skill. Then they immediately went on to start a startup, think how risky it once seemed to your ancestors to live as we do today.

I just wanted to hack. Lisp. There's nothing more valuable than an unmet need that isn't your own, it may be found necessary, in some cases, for a time as a mercenary in Africa, for a time as a doctor in Nepal, for a time as a mercenary in Africa, for a mistress to relinquish, on assuming the responsibility of a household, many of the stories about Jeremy Jaynes's conviction say that he was a programmer that Facebook seemed a good idea with competitors than a bad one without. Explaining himself later, he said. As I was doing it I tried to convince users to pay for what we'd built. What's going on? But we also raised eyebrows by using generic Intel boxes as servers instead of industrial strength servers like Suns, for using a then-obscure open-source projects rather than research, but toward languages being designed by the application programmers who need to use them? Everyone I can think with noise. There are a lot of pressure to use middle-of-the-envelope calculations, this one has a lot of time on the software. Not here.5 The latter is much more expensive.6 Since there are no longer leads, why do you need to learn to hack mostly by hacking.

Addictive things have to be. If you just keep trying, you'll find valuable ones just sitting there waiting to be implemented. I can live without them.7 There will continue to operate. The third worry of the pointy-haired boss is, right? Its purpose is to shield the pointy-haired boss doesn't want to open it. But if you're in the inexperienced but earnest majority, the solution is to talk to his girlfriend in Taiwan, and to a lesser extent Britain under the labor governments of the 1960s have liked writing programs in a way that the hosts often have to rephrase the question for them. In fact they'd cause there to be more precise than you get from using a powerful language, b write a de facto interpreter for one, or c yourself become a human compiler for one. Being proud of how well you did at fundraising is like being proud of your college grades. The path it has discovered is the most economical route to the sea. Prices are so much higher now that if you let Henry Ford get rich, try spending a couple days in some of the most successful companies and explain why they were not as lame as they seemed when they first launched.

Certainly this tends to be the case in individuals. One possible exception might be things that are fun to work on problems you despise rather than ones you fear.8 You have a lot of macros, and I have always worked hard to teach our kids not to be too disciplined. Standardized paperwork will do away with the need to negotiate anything except the valuation, and the first cars. It makes a better story that a company won because its founders were so smart. A Basic interpreter for the Altair; Basic for other machines; other languages besides Basic; operating systems; applications; IPO. You are whatever you wrote.

It's not enough to make it to profitability on the money they have left? Painting was not, at the time that Federico da Montefeltro, the Duke of Urbino, would one day travel from Boston to New York via Memphis. You should only write about things you've thought about a lot, will probably surprise most readers. One of the most successful founder we've funded so far, Sam Altman, actually. I can remember times when we were just exhausted after wrestling all day with some horrible technical problem. And yet a group has to be is a promising experiment that's worth funding to see how anyone could argue that the salaries of professional basketball players don't reflect supply and demand. I could see using something like that. Barely usable, I admit, but usable.9

Notes

Html. However, it would have expected them to private schools that in the services, companies that can't reasonably expect to do right. In grad school, because you could build products as good ones don't even want to sell or not, don't worry about the new top story.

Well, of S P 500 CEOs in the comment sorting algorithm. Many of these limits could be pleasure in a signal. What I should probably start from scratch.

The liking you have more money was the first wave of the word procrastination to describe what they campaign for. Why Startups Condense in America. Y Combinator makes founders move for 3 months also suggests one underestimates how hard it is.

But that solution has broader consequences than just reconstructing word boundaries; spammers both add xHot nPorn cSite and omit P rn letters. But the margins are greater on products. So, can I make this miracle happen?

An investor who's seriously interested will already be programming in Lisp. It's lame that VCs may begin to conserve board seats by switching to what you call the years after Lisp 1. The banks now had to for some reason, rather than ones they capture.

One reason I say is being looked at the valuation of hard work. In grad school, and that he had simply passed on an IBM laptop.

Even college textbooks is unpleasant work, but they start to leave. It rarely arises, and I don't think these are, and b success depended so much on the young care so much a great deal of competition for the most common recipe but not the sense of getting rich from controlling monopolies, just as European politics then had no government powerful enough to convince limited partners.

Many people have seen, so had a juicy bug to track down. There were several other reasons, the task at hand almost does this for you by accidents of age and geography, rather than giving grants.

At this point for me to put in the narrow technical sense of not starving then you should make the fund by succeeding spectacularly.

#automatically generated text #Markov chains #Paul Graham #Python #Patrick Mooney #schools #work #patents #individuals #campaign #recipe #word #problem #Facebook #Startups #responsibility #procrastination #valuation #Ford #Taiwan #juicy #sup #projects #users #politics #architects #Intel #Number #Lisp #Altman

[douchebagbrainwaves]

WHY I'M SMARTER THAN FALL

Another way to make people happy. Actually, neither do VCs. Most people don't really enjoy being mean; they do it and you don't take investment, then competitors who do will have an advantage over you. Control of a company as rich as Microsoft. Going upstairs his bulk will be more of them to recognize and attract. Then for each ask, might this be true? And there are other topics that might seem harmless, like the Soviet Union didn't have a computer industry, it remained for them a theory; they didn't have hardware capable of executing the calculations fast enough to design an actual airplane.1 The importance of degrees is due solely to the administrative needs of large organizations.2 So the main value of whatever you launch with is as a pretext for engaging users.3 While refutation generally entails quoting, quoting doesn't necessarily imply refutation.4 Then it struck me: this is the thinnest of historical veneers. Riskier Strategies are Possible Risk is always proportionate to reward, if you can.5

Zooming out and seeing his current position on the disagreement hierarchy makes people less mean, that will change the way they want. What Make something people want is for startups, Pick the right startups. Another way to make a billion dollars a year worth of work, like acting or writing books, you can't make for yourself. It's what acquirers care about.6 Together they were able to give a demo of their live site. One reason Google doesn't have a problem doing acquisitions, the others would be more likely to close, so of deals that close, more will have multiple investors. The ideal thing might be if you built a precisely defined derivative version of your product for the customer, and it seems to me one of the 15 big successes, so that in retrospect it seems obvious they were going to spend the weekend at a friend's house on a little island off the coast of Maine. Fortunately we got bought at the top: the best design surpasses its predecessors by using new ideas, and the company seems more valuable if it seems like all the good ideas came from within. So many of the things I always tell startups is a principle I learned from Paul Buchheit: it's better to follow the opposite policy. The first time it raised money. We often tell startups to release a minimal version one quickly, then let the needs of all potential users.

For example, in the sense that the decisions are hard.7 The whole Viaweb site was made with our software, even though the latter depends more on determination than brains.8 Scientists go looking for trouble.9 But if wealth is the important thing, why does everyone talk about making money can make it harder to understand how to make the team, and his servers would grind to a halt under the load, which would make them unavailable to the people whose job is to judge them are going to have to pry the plugs out of my cold, dead ears, however. The 2005 summer founders ranged in age from 18 to 28 average 23, and there would be no room for investors to make money but to try to explain in the simplest possible terms what McCarthy discovered. As the fashion becomes established they'll be joined by a second, much larger group, driven by fear. To refute someone you probably have to quote them. It's particularly important to raise money is not when you need it, but if I had to guess now, I'd predict three or four of the eight startups we funded, we had several founders who said they'd thought of applying before, but weren't sure and got jobs instead. One of the founders said I'd read that starting a startup consumed your life, but I had no idea what that meant until I did it. The problem with patent reform is that it has to be in a situation with measurement and leverage. So ultimately we're aiming for the same reason I did look under rocks as a kid: plain curiosity.

There isn't so much at stake in his interactions with other investors seems the complementary countermove. The force of a refutation depends on what you refute. Is a way of saying, I want to do. He's a senator. But by Galileo's time the church was in the throes of the Counter-Reformation and was much more worried about unorthodox ideas. For example, it might be interesting to look at things people do say, and get paid for it.10 But my main conclusion from the summer is that there's more environment in the mix than most people realize. Contradiction can sometimes have some weight. Acquirers will also have to be. That tends to be slow.

Now almost every drawing teacher will tell you the company is small, you are thereby fairly close to measuring the contributions of individual employees. If one likes you, you become a member of an institution. In fact, a high valuation can be a bad thing. If we ever got to the point where startups can least afford it. You don't need to be in a situation with measurement and leverage. This article is derived from a keynote talk at the fall 2002 meeting of NEPLS. They do it because I don't like the idea of being mistaken.

But the founders I heard from aren't noobs or control freaks. Number of users may not be just something you do to survive, but may turn out to be a bit smarter to dominate Internet search than you had to be to dominate railroads or hotels or newspapers. The more labels you have for yourself, the dumber they make you.11 Once you realize how little most people judging you care about: how much you make, and you don't take investment, then competitors who do will have an advantage over you if they do it and you don't have to answer them. Trevor also appears as Trevino Bagwell in our directory of web designers merchants could hire to build stores for them. But there were no problems this summer. Like a lot of changes that have been forced on VCs, this change won't turn out to be as a startup, it will become less of a role as gatekeepers. I used to think all VCs were the same. Whereas companies that sue startups for patent infringement. It is not merely helpful in solving hard problems, but I think it will also be found to be true in businesses that don't seem to be created the way ordinary fashions are. They don't know what's hard, or what they're capable of. As with most nature/nurture questions, the answer is probably: some of each.

It's doing something people want. For example, if a senator wrote an article saying senators' salaries should be increased, one could respond: Of course he would say that. In the sciences, true collaboration seems to be a constant throughout history: In every period of history, there seem to have been a bargain to buy us at an early stage startup. It's getting more straightforward to get things started. This is not a fixed pie.12 If anywhere should be quiet, that should cause dramatic changes. Really hot companies sometimes have high standards for angels. Draw a sharp line between your thoughts and your speech. Stupid, perhaps, but not great. Fortunately there is a step beyond thinking of yourself as x but tolerating y: not even to consider yourself an x. Launching teaches you what you should have been choosing all along.

When starting a startup was expensive, you had to render display text as images. When you want something, you must have it, no matter how technically adept you are. Angels are different in this respect. Ditto for Wal-Mart. Great work tends to grow out of ideas that others have overlooked, and no one else has noticed yet. I think it will also be considered to have triumphed, as if that could be done for the asking.13 That's why we advise groups to ignore issues like scalability, internationalization, and heavy-duty security at first. It doesn't matter if they underestimate you because of some surface imperfection, because the best founders are better at seeing the future than the best investors are much smarter than the rest, and the Inquisition was a bit restive at that time. But the market doesn't have to be big, and it was otherwise a straight product sale. As anyone who has tried to optimize software knows, the key is measurement.

Notes

The unintended consequence is that they could imagine needing in their graphic design. Ditto for case: I switch in mid-century big companies funded 3/4 of their professional code segregate themselves from the bottom as they are within any given person might have 20 affinities by this standard, and at least one beneficial feature: it might actually be bad if the sender happens to compensate for another. I realize revenue and not fixing them fast enough, the work that seems formidable from the rest of the rest generate mediocre returns, it's not the only reason I say in principle is that coming into office hours, they've already made the decision.

Some want to get to college somewhere with real research professors.

Do not finance your startup with a company that could start this way probably should. Something similar has been decreasing globally. In a project like a ragged comb.

Unfortunately these times are a different idea of getting too high a valuation from an interview, I'd appreciate hearing from you. A Plan for Spam I used to say no to drugs.

You'd have to follow redirects, and only incidentally to tell them what to do others chose Marx or Cardinal Newman, and that we don't want to be something you need is a facebook exclusively for college students. One of the bizarre stuff. The reason Y Combinator certainly never asks what classes you took in college.

I can hear them in their social lives that didn't already exist. I preferred to call the market.

Some graffiti is quite impressive anything becomes art if you were still employed in your country controlled by the time. Stone, Lawrence, Family and Fortune: Studies in Aristocratic Finance in the standard edition of Aristotle's contribution? The solution was a sudden drop-off in scholarship just as you can describe each strategy in terms of the things you're taught.

Most people let them mix pretty promiscuously.

MITE Corp.

Microsoft must know in the 1980s was enabled by a combination of a rolling close is to create a web-based applications, and the editor, which merchants used to reply that they violate current startup fashions. The Quotable Einstein, Princeton University Press, 1996.

I think lack of movement between companies combined with self-perpetuating if they were more the aggregate are overpaid. It may have been the general manager of a city's potential as a predictor.

But I think the main reason is that some of the growth is genuine. Which is probably a real poet. But becoming a police state. Sofbot.

I think the top stories were de facto consulting firm. Yahoo, but no more than serving as examples of other VCs who can predict instead of hiring them. His theory was that there is the only one. We try to write a subroutine to do it is still hard to pick the words we use for good and bad outcomes have origins in words about luck.

Thanks to Jackie McDonough, Trevor Blackwell, and Ron Conway for sharing their expertise on this topic.

#automatically generated text #Markov chains #Paul Graham #Python #Patrick Mooney #idea #throes #imperfection #company #Marx #course #competitors #questions #startup #sup #stores #plugs #terms #Do #facebook #Scientists #design #Family #article #environment #sale #bulk #Press #patent