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the-psychopathist · 4 years

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Kilgrave Analysis

I finally finished season 1 of Jessica Jones and I had to make an analysis of this version of the Marvel villain Kilgrave (known as The Purple Man in the comics), real name Kevin Thompson in the tv series, played by David Tennant. Without further ado let’s deep in!

Kilgrave, born Kevin Thompson, developed a severe brain malfunction at a young age and was fated to become brain dead. His parents, both scientists, tried to save him with experimental treatments. But those treatments were extremely painful and even inhumane. We are first introduced to Kilgrave’s backstory through a video of him as a child, seemingly getting abused for the sake of some cruel experiments only by his parents, which are portrayed as “mad scientists”. This revelation may have brought some sympathy to Kilgrave, thinking that he was an abused child brutalized by cruel parents, but we learned later that Kilgrave lied. His parents were actually trying to save him and didn’t abandon him right after. After the experiments cured Kilgrave and gave him his mind control power, they stayed with their child and took responsibility for their actions. Young Kilgrave abused his power on them, mind controlling his parents to satisfy every of his whims, regularly throwing tantrums at them and hurting them. He forced his mother to burn her own face with a stream iron. At some point it was too much for his parents who feared for their safety and they ran away, leaving their son to survive on his own.

But, even if Kilgrave lied about certain parts of his past, it doesn’t mean his grudge against his parents was unjustified. From his perspective as a young child, his parents were torturing him. The fact they were trying to save his life doesn’t change how painful, frightening and traumatizing the experiments done on him were. We even see him panicking when he sees the video of himself getting abused. It’s normal that he grew resentful of his parents and felt like they didn’t love him and only cared about their work. With his new power, it’s not that surprising that a grudgeful and traumatized kid would have used it to get revenge on his parents, who he viewed as his abusers. And after being actually abandoned by them (although it’s understandable from their perspective), Kilgrave’s grudge only grew stronger, as well as his feeling of not being loved. He was left to survive on his own, using his power to force people to give him shelter and feed him. Honestly, it’s not that surprising that he ended up as a remorseless and unempathetic monster growing up, given his pasts and his power to literally bend anyone to his will. No wonder he ended up as a selfish prick who thinks the world revolves around him, as it literally is from his perspective.

Kilgrave confessed that he never knows when people are just acting upon his words of if their actions are from their own free will. His power most likely isolated him from others and prevented him from creating genuine bonds with others. People are basically just tools for him to satisfy his needs so he stopped seeing them as human beings. He doesn’t care about their feelings, their needs, their pains. Only his needs and feelings matter. This made him callous and remorseless, as well as causing him a serious lack of empathy and complete disregard for human lives.

When Jessica asked him if he does have a conscience or regrets his actions, he said that he does have a conscience, but that his was “selective”. Throughout the series he never showed any consideration for anyone other than himself and at a certain degree, Jessica. So it’s not that Kilgrave is unable to feel empathy, more that he became so desensitized to others’ feelings that he can’t empathize with them anymore. But it’s not impossible for him to feel a certain amount of empathy as shown with Jessica. Though this empathy has limits and he doesn’t seem to have any issues with trying to harm or kill her if it benefits him or on a whim if she enraged him. He did seem intrigued by the idea of becoming a hero, but that was just a way for him to be closer to Jessica and for his own self-satisfaction to have people be genuinely grateful to him, which he never experienced before. It just feeds his narcissistic nature.

Another characteristic of Kilgrave is his complete inability to accept any responsibilities for his actions. He forced people to kill themselves numerous times yet refused to be called a murderer. Even if they had no other choice to obey him and end their lives, he doesn’t accept the blame. He’ll blame them for being an inconvenience to him or say that he just removed nuisances from society. He also forced Hope to kill her parents as a way to get revenge on Jessica, blaming her for their death. He was apparently totally unaware that he was a rapist. When Jessica rightfully confronted him about raping her, he was genuinely shocked. He really didn’t even consider that what he was doing was rape. He denied the accusation, saying that he brought her to nice restaurants and hotels. He refuses the label of murderer and rapist because it would be like admitting his wrongdoings and he can’t. He wants to be seen as a victim and blame others for his actions.

Kilgrave is also a big egomaniac and narcissist. He’s a selfish man who doesn’t take insults against him lightly. The first time we actually saw him, he forced a rather wealthy family to shelter him, not only ordering them to let him in and feed him, but also added that they are “delighted” to have him as a guest. When Trish insulted him on radio he sent someone to kill her and after she apologized live, he was pleased enough to let her live. As mentioned earlier, he was shocked and upset when Jessica called him a rapist, thinking that she should be grateful that he brought her to nice restaurants and hotels. To him, it’s an honour to be with him. He doesn’t accept the slightless disrespect towards him and will make sure the person who dared insulting him will pay. Upon learning about Jessica’s relationship with Luke, Kilgrave felt deeply offended that she chose Luke over him, even accusing Luke of sabotaging his relationship with Jessica.

He also seemed to have abandonment issues. He resents his parents for abandoning him and, according to him, not loving him. This feeling seems to have worsened after meeting Jessica. After Jessica broke from his control and left him to die after being hit by a bus, Kilgrave felt abandoned by her. He grew to resent her and be obsessed with her. He meticulously planned his revenge against her, using Hope to do so and forcing her to kill her own parents to hurt Jessica. When he managed to convince Jessica to live with him in her old house, he grew extremely worried that she might leave him again.

That brings us to Kilgrave and Jessica's relationship. When he first met her, Kilgrave was attracted to her beauty, but also mainly intrigued by her power. Just like him, she was special. “But underneath it all the power, just like me. Though not quite as good, of course” was what Kilgrave told her. It seemed that for the first time, Kilgrave might have found someone he can relate to, someone similar to him… but, he felt the need to say “not quite as good”, showing his narcissistic side and his incapacity to see someone as a genuine equal. Despite that, we can see that Kilgrave valued Jessica differently than his other victims. He kept her for months as his “lover” (sex slave) and genuinely believed himself to be the perfect gentleman with her. At some point he even didn’t give her any orders for twelve hours, to test her loyalty and if she truly loved him. For him to even consider that, he must be delusional or desperate for Jessica’s love. For someone to actually love him. And given that Jessica is similar to him, he feels like maybe she can accept him. Kilgrave remembered this event in his own twisted reality, thinking that for the 18 seconds Jessica wasn’t under his control, she was acting true to herself, therefore actually loved him. In reality, Jessica actually tried to escape but was too slow. As a punishment, Kilgrave ordered her to cut her own ears: "You never appreciate anything I do for you. If you can't listen to me you don't need ears... Cut them off”.

Right when Jessica started to cut her ear, he changed his mind and told her to stop, gently hugging her. Kilgrave never seemed to have changed his mind when he decided to mutilate someone. I wouldn’t say he had guilt, but that he does care a little bit about Jessica. In his mind, he rewrote this memory and convinced himself that Jessica stayed with him and that she loved him. Obviously, it’s important for him to feel that someone loves and stays with him willingly, as he was never able to experience that in his life due to his power.

After Jessica broke from his control he became obsessed to get her back. He felt once again abandoned and unloved. When he finally managed to meet with Jessica again, he confessed her love to her and promised he wouldn’t use his ability on her anymore. He bought back Jessica’s childhood house without forcing the current owner to leave as a sign of good faith. He then made sure that everything is the same as when Jessica was still living there, showing his deep obsession about her. Jessica agreed to go live with him in her old house, but simply to get a confession out of him for the murder of Hope’s parents. Kilgrave is completely delusionned, convinced that he can make Jessica fall in love with him and stay with him willingly with such overconfidence. He still used brainwashed people to make sure Jessica doesn’t try to leave or hurt him and became really worried when Jessica went on a walk, showing again his fear of abandonment.

But we learned later that he didn’t promise to not use his power on Jessica out of sympathy and concern for her, but because he knew his power didn’t work on her anymore. Well, maybe he wasn’t sure, but he had a doubt, and trying to use his power on her and failing would have revealed to Jessica her advantage over him. He had to keep control, so telling her he won’t use his power anymore preserves the illusion of power he has over her and makes him look more sympathetic and in good faith. Obviously, if he was sure he could use his power on her, he would have done it without a second thought.

When Jessica deceived him and kidnapped him, interrogated him, tortured him in order to get a confession, he grew resentful against her. When confronted by his parents, he snapped, telling them how much he felt abandoned. After his mother tried to kill him to stop his rampage, he ordered her to stab herself as many years she had abandoned him, killing her.

He tried to manipulate Jessica, convincing her that she loves him and stayed with him on her own free will when he didn’t use his power for twelve hours, until she revealed to him that she just didn’t have the time to escape. This broke Kilgrave's delusion that Jessica loved him all along. Feeling unloved and abandoned once again as well as having his massive ego hurt, Kilgrave became angry at Jessica and started trying to kill her. He forced her to watch her crush Luke blow himself up and mind control him to attack her, as well as using his father’s knowledge to make his power stronger in hope he can control Jessica again. He seems to keep changing his mind between killing Jessica or getting her back, showing how impulsive and unstable he can be. He did say his conscience (empathy) is selective, and Jessica seems to be the only one he cared about, and here we can see how easy it is for him to not care anymore if it benefits him. He even said that he would enjoy killing her but still hesitate if he truly wants to kill her, control her, or break her heart.

He eventually tried to use his power once again against Jessica and seemed to have succeeded. Kilgrave thought that Jessica was playing him so he controlled Trish, forced her to kiss him and claim he will make her her slave and rape her everyday to make Jessica react. Much to his surprise, Jessica didn’t move, making him believe that his power worked again on her. He is rejoiced, ordering Jessica to smile for him, which she does. He then told her to not worry and that she’ll come to love him as he loves her, somewhat trying to comfort her and again craving Jessica’s love. But turns out, Jessica wasn’t under his control, she grabbed her neck and out of irony told him to “smile” before she breaks his neck, killing him. His obsession for Jessica and desperate need for her to love him caused his undoing.

Throughout the series, Kilgrave has been referred to as a “psychopath”, a “sociopath” and “psychotic”. Do any of those terms adequately describe him? Well, medias tends to misuse mental illnesses and disorders and throw those terms for any “crazy” murderous villains. Do any of those diagnoses actually fit Kilgrave’s mental state? Quick summary, psychopaths usually refer to someone who is born that way and has a lack of empathy, fear, stress and anxiety due to a thinner amygdala. Psychopathy is considered as a neurodevelopmental disorder, a disorder that affects the development of the nervous system and leads to abnormal brain function. Nowaday it’s often referred to as “primary psychopathy”. “Sociopath” is an outdated term that doesn’t have any medical meaning anymore. It’s more of a pop culture term used for psychopaths, antisocial personality disorders, or just evil characters in general. So let’s forget about that one. I mentioned primary psychopathy, there’s also secondary psychopathy (who is also referred to as sociopathy sometimes). Secondary psychopaths aren’t born that way, they are mold and shaped by their environment, upbringing and possible trauma. While primary psychopathy is characterized by callousness, shallow affect, manipulation, and superficial charm, while secondary psychopathy is associated with impulsivity and lack of long-term goals, and is related to hostile behaviors. They don’t totally lack empathy, their empathy is more “selective” and unstable. Antisocial Personality Disorder is a personality disorder, something that is developed, not innate. ASPD doesn’t equate a violent criminal either but is characterized by a lack of remorse and disregard for others and the law. Not all primary psychopaths have ASPD but all secondary psychopaths do and is often comorbid with borderline personality disorder, which is characterized by abandonment issues and emotional impulsivity and unstability. Both primary and secondary psychopathies are in the spectrum of narcissistic personalities (without necessary being NPD), but not everyone with ASPD is also narcissistic.

Phew. Ok now that I’m done let’s go back to Kilgrave. Let’s cross out primary psychopathy. It’s obvious Kilgrave isn’t born that way and he showed multiple times fear, stress and emotional instability. He was made that way by his environment, upbringing and trauma. I talked before about how narcissistic he was and I do believe he could have NPD. He has a grandiose sense of himself, he viewed himself as special and unique and thus above others, great sense of entitlement, exploitative, lack of empathy and arrogant. He also seems to show signs of ASPD, he fails to obey laws and norms, he’s a lying, deceptive and manipulative person and do so for his own profit or self-amusement, he’s quite impulsive, irritable and aggressive and has a blatant disregard for the safety of others, he can’t take responsibility and lack remorse for his actions. I also mentioned his abandonment issues, how he fears that Jessica will abandon him and how he craves for her love. Those might be related to borderline personality disorder, which is described as: “disturbed sense of identity, frantic efforts to avoid real or imagined abandonment and extreme reactions to such, black and white thinking, impulsivity, intense or uncontrollable emotional reactions that are disproportionate to the event or situation, unstable and chaotic interpersonal relationships, distorted self-image, self-damaging behaviors, dissociation and is often accompanied by depression, anxiety, anger, substance abuse, or rage”.

I do think some of those criteria fits Kilgrave. I think he might have those three personality disorders or partially have them, all in the cluster B and comorbid. That would put him in the category of secondary psychopath. The fact his empathy can be selective and unstable regarding Jessica seems to also point to that conclusion.

I think Kilgrave is a well-written villain, his psychology and psyche is accurately portrayed in the series, even if his behaviours are explained they aren’t justified. He’s not just evil for the sake of being evil, we actually see how he became that way and can understand him. After all, evil is made, not born.

#jessica jones #marvel's jessica jones #kilgrave #the purple man #killgrave #kevin thompson #analysis #psychopathy #sociopathy

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planesofduality · 4 years

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Dragon Age: Origins companion descriptions and dev notes from the game files

Just pulled this from the game’s character files. Gives some ages for characters (probably rough estimates, potentially retconned ), archetypes, writer-defined flaws, etc

Morrigan

Description

Morrigan lacks the will to care about most things enough to excite herself over them. Her primary concern is her survival. She has a difficult time relating to other people, and feels extremely vulnerable outside of the marsh. Her sense of humor is dark and twisted, and she finds the most morbid things amusing.

Her primary goal is to gain skills and knowledge and become a powerful sorceress in her own right. She believes that having a child with the PC's blood will give her access to this power.

Phonetic

More'-rah-genn

Age

Occupation

Witch

Morals

None at all. Morrigan learned morality from her abomination mother in the marshes where she grew up.

Appearance

A svelte, exotic-looking young woman with long black hair and large eyes. Her body is relatively thin and not strong.

Flaws

Morrigan has a difficult time relating to other people, and feels extremely vulnerable outside of the marsh

Skills

Is an accomplished witch; is skilled at wilderness survival.

Speech Patterns

Morrigan does not use contractions and speaks in what almost sounds like poetic verse.

Accent

None

Purpose

Companion and possible romance for the player

Relationship to Player

Party Member

Archetype

(Maybe change to "Cultural Background"?)

Demeanor

Morrigan is usually calm, collected, and fairly confident. Her charisma is fairly low--she prefers to remain in the background.

Personal Background

Morrigan was raised in the marshes by her sorceress mother, Flemeth, and had little contact with society proper.

She and Flemeth have a relationship more like servant and master than like mother and daughter.

She fears being rendered powerless (magically or personally).

Alistair

Description

A stern-looking young man with a strong chin. Very handsome. Some resemblance to King Cailan.

Phonetic

Al'-iss-ter

Age

Occupation

Grey Warden, bastard son of the king's father

Morals

Alistair has a strong moral sense that was taught to him in the church, but his bitterness makes him struggle with it.

Flaws

Alistair struggles with the resentment he feels over his birthright.

Skills

Trained as a paladin, Alistair can fight and has the ability to dispel magic.

Speech Patterns

His voice is deep but quiet. His tone sharpens into steel when required, but more often he is conciliatory.

Relationship to Player

NPC, companion, one of the only fellow Grey Wardens left after Loghain's betrayal

Demeanor

Generally self-depricating and conciliatory. Retreats into broody silence rather than raise his voice to be heard.

Shale

Description

Shale was created centuries ago, a female dwarven warrior who volunteered to undergo the magical process created by the master smith Caridin to become a golem -- literally her soul was put into a creature of stone, turning her into an unstoppable warrior. The process of creation is a grueling and agonizing one that uses forbidden blood magic, and the torture of it convinced Caridin that creating golems was morally wrong even if it involved volunteers. He refused to make more, and when the dwarven king attempted to force him he destroyed his forge -- or so everyone thought.

Most dwarves like Shale were lost in the wars against the darkspawn, and Shale was lucky to be found and reactivated by a human mage that brought her to the surface world. During his magical tinkering, however, he accidentally restored the memory of her creation, causing her to go berserk and killing him. This resulted in her becoming inert -- meaning she stood in the center of the village where the mage brought her, watching the villagers for thirty years as they thought her nothing more than a dead statue. When the player reanimates her, she realizes she is free-willed but remembers little else of her past.

Phonetic

as in "pale"

Age

500

Occupation

None -- formerly an inert yet aware statue

Morals

She is basically a good person, though she has little regard for the value of life and much prefers that the most direct action is taken in any given circumstance. Things like honor and love tend to complicate matters and irritate her, and she will seldom be understanding when they are given preference.

Appearance

A giant stone creature with crystals and runes all over his body. Shale is large enough that she must crouch to get through most doorways.

Flaws

She has lost touch with the fact that she was once a living thing herself -- and thus her value for life in general has eroded. She dislikes things that are frail and weak and tends to assume that all people she meets are flawed. Not that she believes herself to be perfect -- she is simply pessimistic about people in general, yet at the same time unconvinced that anything can be done to improve the matter. She has the perspective of a passive observer in this: having been an observer for so long, Shale has no idea what to do once the player reactivates her. She has no history and no purpose, and is thus lost.

Skills

Skilled warrior, also possesses the ability to augment magical energies around her (a buff for mages)

Speech Patterns

While Shale is technically female, her voice shouldn't be particularly feminine (the fact that she was once female actually comes as revelation partway through her plot) -- as a golem, the sound should be deepened and will require some processing to make it sound a bit unearthly (she does, after all, speak via magical means). As far as how she speaks, Shale tends to be somewhat sarcastic and pessimistic as a rule. When she banters, it is with a bit of bite and acidity to it, and she generally doesn't seem to care deeply about anything -- when she does, however, her voice should get a powerful and booming resonance to it.

Accent

Indiscernible

Purpose

comedic relief, party member

Relationship to Player

Companion

Archetype

Wizard of Oz-like Creature in Search of a Purpose

Demeanor

Shale has spent the last thirty years forced to helplessly watch a village as an inert statue, while the villagers want on with their lives around her unaware that they were being watched. This has made her quite cynical on the nature of humanity in general, and she tends to point out the flaws of others with acidity -- having been forced to watch quietly for so many years she has developed no "filter" and thus often says whatever is on her mind. She has free will now and is not afraid to use it, and thus will come across as independant and even precocious at times. It is important to note, however, that Shale is not malicious -- she was once a noble warrior and if anything her sarcasm and pessimism are come by honestly. The only things she truly reserves hatred for are birds. Forced to endure assaults by pigeons for decades she now plots revenge against them in almost comic book villain-like fashion.

Personal Background

Prior to being found by the player, Shale was a golem that was forced to serve anyone who held her control rod. Her last master died after experimenting on her magically, however -- which resulted in her becoming inert and forced to watch the village she stood in for 30 years. When activated, she discovered that her control rod no longer functioned and she had free will -- but had no idea what to do with it, and no purpose or history that she could remember. She accompanies the player out of a lack for better things to do, hoping to find something that is recognizeable and attempting to find a purpose to her existence -- which, from the player's perspective, will be to spend her time mocking everything around her and being pessimistic about their chances for success. Thankfully, she is excellent at battle and quite eager to leap into any fray. Shale doesn't care much for folks, after all, so laying into them with stony fists doesn't much bother her.

Cultural Background

Although Shale was once a dwarf from centuries ago, before the dwarven kingdoms fell to the darkspawn, her memories prior to the last thirty years is hazy at best. She is familiar with modern life, although she feels very much as an outsider amongst it and has no traditions of her own. Indeed, she is not even aware she is a dwarf (or female) until the player encounters Caridin.

Oghren

Description

Once a warrior of considerable reputation, Oghren fell apart when his wife -- the Paragon smith, Branka -- abandoned him to go chasing after her obsessions in the Deep Roads. Oghren became a drunkard, and his normal irreverence became a foulness that managed to alienate almost everyone he knew. Oghren is foul-mouthed, contentious and completely inappropriate even at the best of times. Indeed, he acts like this knowingly and no longer cares whom he upsets. He remains obsessed with mounting an expedition to find Branka, but has almost given up on the idea since no-one will pay any attention to him any longer.

Phonetic

Ogh'-rinn

Age

Occupation

Warrior-caste dwarf, meant to serve as a guard or as a soldier to protect Orzammar. He's essentially exiled or "fired" from that role when the player arrives.

Morals

He kills and loves and drinks and farts and insults at will and likes to put forward an image that he doesn't care about morals -- truly, however, he has a sense of decency and wouldn't do anything that was truly wrong except by accident.

Appearance

Dirty, mighty, possibly gross. Long natty beard.

Flaws

He says whatever's on his mind, which is usually the worst possible thing to say. He also has a temper that can get him into trouble.

Skills

Fighting. Lots and lots of fighting.

Speech Patterns

Quick to anger, Oghren is often losing his temper over something. He is just as quick to laugh boisterously or to tell a rude joke at the most inappropriate time. He adores poking people's buttons, and the easier they are to upset the more he will enjoy doing it. He the crude, salt of the earth type, though it should always be in a good-natured way. No matter how foul he gets, he should always ultimately be likeable.

Accent

Dwarven

Purpose

Comedic relief and party member

Relationship to Player

party member

Archetype

Boisterous Drunken Warrior

Demeanor

Drunken, aggressive, and innappropriate. Usually rude, sometimes sad.

Personal Background

Oghren married the brilliant smith Branka, and when she was elevated to the status of Paragon her entire family was made into a new clan. Oghren proudly headed the clan at her side, but eventually Branka took her entire clan and headed into the Deep Roads in search of ancient dwarven treasures despite his objection. Oghren angrily remained behind and after hearing nothing of Branka has tried many times to get a search party put together -- despite the fact that is marriage to Branka was already over. He has since had the right to bear arms stripped from him and become a drunken loser, so when he encounters the player this is his first chance at actual redemption (though he is far too proud to admit this).

Cultural Background

Dwarf from Orzammar, member of the Warrior caste

Wynne

Description

Wynne is a spirit healer from the Circle of the Magi. She has served the Circle for most of her life and is a well-respected mentor and mage. Wynne has very strong morals and sense of duty. She believes wholeheartedly in what the Circle does and believes that through discipline, learning, and wisdom, mages can learn to control and use their gifts to serve Ferelden.

She believes that fear of magic stems from a lack of understanding. She is careful in her speech and carries herself with dignity because she knows that she will be judged as a mage firstly, and wants to present herself as someone who is to be respected, but not feared or reviled. Wynne was saved from death by a Spirit of Faith which has now bonded to her and sustains her. The spirit is weakening and when it can no longer sustain her, Wynne will die. She knows this and has made peace with it.

Phonetic

win

Age

Occupation

Circle Mage

Morals

A noble person. Compassionate. Believes in the goodness of humans in general, thinks everyone can be good, if they are just given a chance and shown the way.

Appearance

Older woman with grey hair. Neat and well-groomed. Has aged gracefully, good-looking in a mature way.

Flaws

Tendency to mother everyone. Lectures. May be disapproving and cold to those she doesn't agree with.

Skills

Wynne is sustained a Spirit of Faith, which she may summon to help the party, or meld with completely to become a warrior form.

Speech Patterns

A quiet voice with warm tones. Speaks thoughtfully, never raises her voice. Sounds very learned, almost noble.

Accent

Standard accent, possibly British-sounding. Educated.

Purpose

Follower, Plot Giver - Save the mages in the Broken Circle.

Relationship to Player

Mentor

Archetype

Wise old wizard advisor

Demeanor

Calm, a voice of reason. Does not lose temper easily. Genuinely warm and friendly. Proper and polite.

Personal Background

Taken to the Circle at a very young age. Excelled at magic, especially healing magic. Very sensitive to the spirits of the Fade. Because of her talent, she was given the role of mentor at fairly young age. She accepted this role but bungled the job due to hot-headedness and an inability to empathize with the student who was assigned to her. The student finally escaped the Circle and Wynne believed him dead and blamed his death on her treatment of him. This guilt has informed her actions ever since and she has become a very warm, caring and empathic person, always able to see things from another's point of view.

Some time in the past, Wynne also had a son. However, because mages are technically not allowed to marry or have children, her son was taken from her and given to the Chantry to raise. She does not speak of this often and only reveals this to Alistair.

Cultural Background

Circle Mage from Ferelden

Dog

Description

Dog is a mabari dog, a highly intelligent wardog. The player will get to name Dog.

Phonetic

dawg

Age

Occupation

Wardog. Fetches things.

Speech Patterns

Barks

Purpose

Loyal companion

Relationship to Player

Loyal companion.

Cultural Background

Ferelden Mabari Dog

Leliana

Description

Leliana spent much of her life in the service of the Orlesian court as a bard -- an entertainer who traveled the land and doubled as a spy and sometimes assassin. Over time, her deeds left her with the feeling that she was not built for such a life. She felt guilty about the wrongs she had done, and eventually fled her masters in court. This meant secretly fleeing to the east and hiding out in a small convent in the Ferelden town of Lothering. There she found her calling, entering the sisterhood and beginning what she thought would be a life of religious contemplation and -- she hoped -- some measure of peace with her past. While there is a deeper side to her, a very spiritual side where she tries earnestly to look for meaning in even the most mundane things, on the surface she comes across as cheerful and witty and perhaps even a little flighty. Ultimately she is a voice of good and will try her best to steer others around her in the right direction.

Phonetic

LEL-ee-AH-nah

Age

Occupation

Bard, spy

Morals

Her concept of good is more 'nice' than 'good' (e.g. would let one seemingly penitent bandit go to be nice, rather than turn him in for his crimes)

Appearance

Red hair, pale, slender

Flaws

Has flights of fancy, hard to take her seriously. Sometimes a little too whimsical for her own good.

Skills

Singing: Leliana will sing several songs throughout the game. She should have a sweet voice, suited to folk songs.

Speech Patterns

Melodic, warm, maybe a little husky. There should be a slight lilt to her speech.

Accent

A hint of a French accent, but not to the point of caricature.

Purpose

Companion, Romance

Relationship to Player

Party member and potential romance interest

Archetype

Good Girl With a Past

Demeanor

Cheerful, sassy, charming. Flighty, loves making up stories about things and people.

Personal Background

Leliana is originally from Ferelden, but spent most of her youth as a companion to a noblewoman in Orlais. As a young lady she was brought under the wing of a bard-master called Marjolaine, who groomed her to be a bard and spy. Leliana's charm and her disarming manner made her extremely successful in her work in the noble courts of Orlais. She enjoyed her life as a spy, but something went wrong and Leliana was forced to flee to Ferelden. She took refuge in a cloister in Lothering, hiding for years and becoming Affirmed in that time. Also, she has begun to believe that the Maker has not left the world and that he in fact speaks to her through signs and omens. Her beliefs put her at odds with the Chantry but she clings to them nonetheless.

Cultural Background

Fereldan, brought up in Orlais.

Teyrn Loghain mac Tir

Description

Loghain was born a farmer during a time when his country was under foreign occupation. When he was still a boy, he joined the resistance, where his considerable tactical genius quickly became apparent. He became close friends with Prince Maric, the last true heir to the Ferelden throne, and together they led the rebells to drive out the invading forces of the Orlesian Empire. Maric raised his friend to the nobility, and Loghain is almost more of a symbol to his people than a man: He represents the Ferelden ideals of hard work and independance.

But the war has never truly ended for him. He sees Orlais waiting in the shadows for a chance to strike again. And now, with his friend's death, he's left to defend their land all alone. Fearing King Cailan's plan to ask for Orlesian aid against the Blight, Loghain leaves the young king to die on the field at Ostagar. Now he's trapped in a downward spiral as he struggles to save his kingdom, but every action he takes only brings it closer to ruin.

Phonetic

Tay'-ern Lo'-gayn mac teer'

Age

Occupation

Regent of Ferelden

Morals

To save Ferelden, at any cost

Appearance

Regal, manly, intelligent, mighty

Flaws

Obsessive, believes too firmly that his way is the only way

Skills

Strategy, a fine warrior in his own right

Speech Patterns

Loghain is a gentleman farmer-turned-general and hero. He's charismatic, down-to-earth, and radiates a confidence that draws others to follow him. His lifetime as a soldier has given him a guarded demeanor that's easy to mistake for being callous.

Accent

Ferelden

Purpose

Villain for much of the game, possible follower

Archetype

Conniving hero-turned-villain

Demeanor

Cunning, sly, charismatic

Personal Background

A farmer's son, Former war hero, strategic counsel to Kings Maric and Cailan, betrays Cailan in battle

Cultural Background

Ferelden

Sten

Description

The platoon he led to investigate the Blight was ambushed by darkspawn, and he alone survived, badly wounded. Looters found him and stole his belongings. He was rescued by farmers and when he awoke alone and without his sword (equivalent to a Spartan losing his shield) he panicked, killing the entire family. He then gave himself up to the villagers. He joins the player only because he hopes to regain some measure of his lost honor by dying in battle against the darkspawn that slew his men.

Phonetic

stehn'

Age

Occupation

Warrior. He wants to regain the honor he lost in killing the family by fighting the Blight.

Morals

Very strong

Appearance

A giant of a man with white hair and golden skin, very muscled and with unusual eyes. This is fairly typical of the qunari -- they are the bronze giants, great philosophers and scientists.

Skills

An excellent fighter.

Speech Patterns

He is a man of few words -- literally, as he is unlikely to respond to questioning from a "lesser" being with anything but terse sentences. He will use qunari words sparsely in his lines without necessarily explaining them, and speaks in rather clipped tones as if speaking is unpleasant for him. He actually just isn't very confident speaking languages other than qunari.

Accent

Qunari

Purpose

Follower

Relationship to Player

Party member.

Archetype

the Philosophical Alien

Demeanor

Sten is a laconic smartass, he presents a stoic, practical face to the world, and speaks as if he has only so many words allotted for his entire lifetime, yet he can't resist the chance to say something sarcastic. He's actually somewhat soft-hearted, though he hates if anyone notices this, and typically expresses affection for his companions by needling them. For the most part he gets by appearing gruff and unfriendly.

Personal Background

He spent most of his life fighting in the island's perpetual three-way war between the Imperium, the qunari, and the Tal-Vashoth. When he was sent with a small group of qunari warriors to evaluate the rumored Blight in Ferelden, they were ambushed by a group of darkspawn, which killed most of the party in the attack. Pillagers then stripped them of their valuables, thinking they were all dead. Some farmers found him and nursed him back to health. When he awoke, his sword was missing. Since Qunari warriors can't return to their kith without their sword (it’s assumed that a warrior who comes back alive without it discarded it to run faster in deserting the battlefield), he panicked. Thinking the farmers had robbed him, he killed the entire family. The player finds him in a cage outside Lothering, waiting to die.

Cultural Background

Sten is a Qunari, a member of a race that is foreign to this part of the world and whose people were at war with the human races for over a century before agreeing to a peace which has turned into an almost permanent détente. Still, the Qunari live quite a distance away from the part of the world where this game takes place… so someone like Sten is a curiosity more than an object of hatred. The Qunari are fanatical devotees to their religion, which compels them to dominate other races in order to improve them and bring them order. They are technologically advanced and hold magic in contempt, and this lends Sten an air of superiority over the other races around him. He is snide and superior – even while at the same time he is grim and subdued due to the fact that he has failed at the mission he was given. His failure, however, is between him and his conscience. It is not the place of lesser beings to speak with him about it.

Zevran Arainai

Description

Zevran is a member of the infamous Calabrian guild of assassins known as the Crows, though not by choice -- he was sold as a young slave to the Crows and trained to become one of their operatives. While he has worked as an assassin in Calabria, his first major assignment was to come to Ferelden and hunt down a surviving Grey Warden -- who just happens to be the player. Upon being defeated by the player, Zevran leaps at the opportunity to offer the player his allegiance in exchange for a chance to escape from the Crows once and for all.

Phonetic

ZEV-ran' AIR-ah-nye

Age

Occupation

Assassin

Morals

Few -- Zevran was raised in a whorehouse and trained from a young age to become an assassin. The only morals he possesses are those that lead to less complication for his job.

Appearance

Pale, slicked-back hair, has many tattoos (a feature of the Calabrian Crows), quite handsome and roguish.

Flaws

Hides his true feelings behind his bravado, doesn't believe in personal attachments. He is ultimately loyal only to himself.

Skills

An excellent thief, incredible agility, very knowledgeable with poisons.

Speech Patterns

Zevran is a suave, smooth operator. He tends to speak in a seductive and playful manner, playing the lothario whenever possible, and rarely gets upset -- if need be, he will become a silent, efficient killer but never lets his emotions get the better of him. Always practical and easy-going, he enjoys keeping others off-balance and on their guard.

Accent

Calabrian -- slightly Spanish, but not thick

Purpose

Romance for a female (or male). He is a pragmatic companion who is fine with immoral deeds and will betray the player late in the game unless the player has taken time to befriend him.

Relationship to Player

captured by the player and sworn into service in exchange for his life

Archetype

the smart-mouthed expert; the gigolo with a heart of gold

Demeanor

Often amused and light-hearted, rarely takes anything seriously except his job.

Personal Background

An orphan to a prostitute elven mother, raised poor and then sold to the Crows to become an assassin. He is virtually a slave to the Crows and eager to find a way to leave them without being killed.

Cultural Background

Calabrian (roughly equivalent of Spanish)

#dragon age #dao #occupation: witch #game file deep diving #alistair #leliana #morrigan #zevran #wynne #dragon age compendium

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seeker-of-the-stars · 3 years

Text

Enneagram Types for the TFP characters

So I decided that I am, in fact going to type all the characters because I’m a big nerd with too much time on my hands so here you go.

Disclaimer: I’m not an expert on the enneagram. This is mostly based off my own research and interpretations of the characters. If you think a certain character should have a different type than I gave them let me know! I spent an embarrassing amount of time on this and I’d love some feedback

Autobots

Optimus Prime: 1w9

He deeply wants to be good and have others see him as good, and highly values peace and stability. Hates conflict but still willing to Throw Down if you do something he finds morally reprehensible.

Ratchet: 5w4

Just looking at the episode where he injects himself with space steroids so he can keep up with the rest of the team makes it pretty clear he’s terrified of being seen as incompetent. I could also see him as a 5w6 but he seems like a guy that would be interested in theory for theory’s sake so I gave him a 4 wing.

Bulkhead: 6w7

Super loyal, deeply values connections to others but also a mech who likes to have fun. Fears losing his friends and his place on Team Prime more than anything, as seen in the episode where he’s worried about Smokescreen replacing him.

Arcee: 6w5 (counterphobic)

Prickly and standoffish to anybody outside of her intermediate circle, but extremely loyal to the few she’s close to. Her biggest fear is losing another partner after already having lost Tailgate and Cliffjumper to the war.

Bumblebee: 6w7

Like Bulkhead, he’s very loyal to his human partner Raf and the rest of Team Prime but also has a lighthearted, fun side. Very protective but not to the point of being overbearing.

Ultra Magnus: 1w2

Super strict, by-the-book perfectionist who wants to Get Shit Done the right way. He shows he cares about the team and the cause by keeping everyone else in line.

Smokescreen: 7w6

A human (robot?) ball of energy who can’t stand to stay still for more than five seconds, he wants his life to be a big adventure. His 6 wing however keeps him in check, and he’s willing to listen when others tell him he’s gone too far.

Wheeljack: 8w7

With his need to be in control of his own life at all costs and lack of respect for authority, he jumped out to be as an 8 right away. His biggest fear is being controlled and his second biggest fear is being bored, hence the 7 wing.

Decepticons:

Megatron: 8w7

Hyper aggressive, absolute need to control everyone and everything and stubborn to the point of killing off his home planet, he’s 100% an 8 and a very unhealthy one at that.

Starscream: 3w2 (maybe 3w4)

His biggest drive in life is to be seen as successful and worthy of respect. Unlike Megatron who wants to lead for the sake of power and conquest, Starscream wants the position for the prestige. The power might be a perk, but he ultimately wants to be admired and fears being seen as worthless above all. While I think he’s absolutely a 3, I was really torn between typing him with a 2 or 4 wing. Right now I’m leaning slightly towards 3w2.

Soundwave: 6w5

Loyal to a fault towards Megatron, Laserbeak and the Decepticon cause and highly competent, he seems to embody this type the best. It’s kind of hard to tell for sure though since he hardly speaks.

Shockwave: 5w6

Just let him hide away in his cave and work on his science experiments and he’ll be more than happy. Because of this I could also see him as a 5w4, but he seems to be very results oriented.

Knock Out: 7w8

KO is a 7, no doubt about it. He’s here for a good time and if you get in his way, you better prepare for surgery!

He resents being under someone else’s control and will rebel in any way he can (sneaking out to drive in theaters, making sarcastic quips at Starscream, etc) but usually not as directly as an 8 would. Which is a good thing because if he told Megatron off he’d probably have gotten scrapped a long time ago. I also gave him an 8 wing because he genuinely doesn’t seem to give a damn about what anyone thinks of him and I think a 7w6 would be a bit more concerned about appearing “appropriate.”

Breakdown: 9w8

Generally a pretty laidback guy who doesn’t want to cause trouble with people (unless you’re Bulkhead) but has a stubbornness to him that keeps him from being a pushover. He also has no problem throwing hands with his enemies, and tends to get a temper when frustrated.

Arachnid: 8w7

Extremely aggressive and willing to throw down with anyone who pisses her off, even when she really, really shouldn’t (as she discovered with Soundwave). Has the fun loving side of the 7 wing but what she considers fun is kidnapping, killing, and torturing people so... yeah. Basically if she was human, she’d probably be a serial killer.

Dreadwing: 6w5

Loyalty is like his main personality trait, so he definitely seems very 6 ish to me. He mostly just wants to be left alone to do his job and serve Megatron while avenging his brother’s death.

Humans:

Jack Darby: 6w5 (or 6w7)

Tbh this was a hard nut to crack. He seems to take his responsibilities pretty seriously but he’s not above screwing around and doing dumb things every now and then. Mostly he just wants to live a normal life and be safe but he’s willing to defend those he cares about when it comes down to it.

Miko Nakadai: 7w6

Basically the human teenage girl version of Smokescreen but even more chaotic. She wants to live life to the absolute fullest and if that means risking getting stepped on by a giant robot, she’s willing to take that risk.

Raf Esquivel: 5w6

AKA Ratchet’s favorite child. Like Jack he’s not particularly eager to put himself in danger or cause trouble, but his curiosity and desire to learn about alien technology and culture often overrides his need for security and safety.

June Darby: 2w1

Eh, really not sure of this one but it feels right? Has that need to take care of others that is common in 2′s but is also willing to call you out if you do something stupid.

Agent Fowler: 6w5

Again, it just kinda feels right? He’s loyal to Team Prime but is also kinda pissed off he has to deal with all this alien bullshit he didn’t sign up for (as he should).

#tfp #autobots #decepticons #optimus prime #megatron #starscream #knock out #bumblebee #i'm not tagging every single character #enneagram #transformers and personality nerds please interact

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darksiders-scenarios · 4 years

Note

Yes please I would like you to rewrite the dragonborn and skyrim one please! Oh but please keep the other one up it had me laughing out loud!

I did my best to behave this time! disgracefulsin (it will never stop haunting me-).

Ask: “ I am curious…how would thefour horsemen, azrael,Alya and Muria react to being in skyrim and their s/o isthe dragonborn?”

***

War: It comes as no surprisethat War is regarded as the greatest warrior since Ysgramor, for his honour andhigh principals. It further comes as little surprise that he is chosen tobecome the new Harbinger after Kodlak’s demise. With his unwavering support andguidance, you work hard to repress your natural instincts to control and createhavoc that stems from your dragon blood. You are often reminded to use yourpowers for the betterment of the Empire, not for personal gain. Though he nevervoices it, War’s admiration and respect for you surge that much morewhenever you are able to overcome your innate bloodlust and hunger fordominance. A marking of a great hero. With his leadership and being your truestcompanion, you can rest assured that War will always support your path tofulfilling your destiny as the Dragonborn.

Death: You are in deep denial about your Dragonborn“destiny”, attempting to conceal your identity and desiring nothingmore than to live a simple life with your friend. The burden of being the lastDragonborn, coupled with being the only one to defeat Alduin… You want no part in defending the“Fatherland” especially after you were almost executed due to a“misunderstanding”. Let them burn in Alduin’s fire. Though Deathclaims that he cares little for the politics of Skyrim, he often voices hisdisdain for the civil war whenever you hint that you want to side with theStormcloaks. He upholds the view that both sides are as deluded as the otherand reminds you of the real threat. However, Death understands your resentment,and he promises you that he will personally build a cottage for you. Once thisis all over, you and he can live the life that you both so desperately need.

Fury: She is extremely proud of you, remembering how you started with nothing but theclothes on your back, now witnessing your ascension through the ranks of Thanesin major holds; earning the respect of townsfolks and influential leaders,extending to even your enemies. She is impressed with your remarkablediscipline as the Dragonborn, your ability to repress the urge to indulge inyour inherent draconian ambition to dominate. A discipline that she herselfonce lacked, and the consequences still haunt her to this day. She is alwaysvigilant and circumspect for fear that your powers will be exploited by petty mindswith petty ambitions. The Greybeards find solace in the knowledge that theDragonborn has a trusted guardian for a friend.

Strife: Being a non-human Dragonborn makes it an easy target forridicule and humiliation. Why should you care for the denizens ofSkyrim after everything you’ve suffered at their hands? The racism, theprejudice, the injustice? Why? Everything is clear to Strife, your hunger for vengeanceand violence emanates from your dragon blood, augmented by your bitterness.Justifiably so. Strife sympathises with you, although he is cautious to notvoice his opinions. The last thing you need is the assumption that you arebeing pitied. But when he sees you belittled by others, Strife fights for youtooth and nail, demanding respect for you and your voice to be heard. And adamn earth-shattering one it is too. With Strife’s unyielding support andfriendship, that wall of resentment gradually begins to crack and you slowly learn toembrace your role as the Dragonborn. Not to mention, the tally of who has themost dragon bones, and kicking Nazeem’s backside.

Azrael: You are dismissive of your Dragonborn title, treating it as acurse; an invitation for more unrest and conquest in this already brokencountry. With your past life drenched in crime and murder, your ties with theThieves Guild and Dark Brotherhood, it comes as no surprise for the Archangelthat you are now guilt-ridden and depressed. But Azrael sees it for what is,you crave companionship the most. But he has had enough of seeing you atthe Bannered Mare all the time, snapping you out of your miserable stupor. Itis through Azrael that you begin to embrace your identity, accepting theperspective that ridding Tamriel from the threat of Alduin is your step toatonement. Though Azrael doesn’t accompany you on your quest, he maintainscommunication with you through a psychic link, serving as your guide wheneveryou sought it. He stays at High Hrothgar, learning from the Greybeards andtheir grandmaster for ways to further support you. Now he always looks forwardto your return, for your safety primarily- but also the guilty excitement thatyou will be bringing him all manners of books, scrolls and tomes.

Alya: You have a beloved friend in the form of the greatest blacksmithin all of Tamriel. With her acceptance into the Skyforge, Alya forges only thebest durable weapons and armours for you in your quest to defeating Alduin.True to her “A Maker, not a warrior” de facto moniker, Alya is ahighly sought smith. Denizens all across Tamriel, the wealthy, the mercenariesand many others travel to Jorrvaskr for her smithwork. The most popular errandsfor the companions are to deliver the best quality materials for her. Businessis forever thriving. Now, upon discovery of your Dragonborn nature, your needsare top priority, excelling those of the Emperor himself. It also helps thatyou have mastery in the art of weapon enchantment, acquired from your advancedstudies at the College of Winterhold.

Muria: Your inherent abilities for absorbing dragon souls andmemorising spells accelerate your grasp in all the schools of magic, alchemyand enchantment arts. Muria appreciates your semi-pacifist nature; you arereluctant to use your destructive powers, resorting to calming andincapacitating spells on your enemies unless absolutely necessary. Your mindsetstems from a strong ethical standpoint, a trait that Muria greatly approves andrespects. She trusts that you are responsible in your duties and knows that youvalue her counsel should you require it. Of course, it helps that she is alsothe Arch-mage of the College of Winterhold.

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alcxandros · 3 years

Text

After the events of the game, Rinoa was having a hard time with everything that occurred - as far back as Ultimecia guised as Edea attempting to publicly execute her, to becoming possessed herself, becoming a sorceresses, her force junction with Adel, Seifer’s betrayal, being placed in the Memorial, Time Compression, being out of control of her powers and the world damning her for her new existence. To a girl with ambitions but was ultimately not trained nor anywhere near prepared for everything that was going to come, this - understandably, took a severe blow to her mental health.

Though while she was determined to make the best of her situation, she was not anywhere prepared to handle when Esthar came knocking with a contract that would have fatal consequences if it wasn’t signed. Already feeling defeated and cornered and terrified, Rinoa agreed to it without argument. At the time of being seventeen and already traumatized, she felt it was better to not make waves and give the public more reasons to hate her, and this way she and Squall could be together. In her mental state and fear, she would have agreed to almost anything. Esthar took advantage of that.

Unfortunately Rinoa became conditioned into passivity to events happening to her, no matter how much she hated it. When she thinks about pushing back, she remembers Esthar’s soldiers waiting for her outside of the Ragnarok, armed and ready to take her peacefully or not. She remembers being marched away, thanked for her understanding and compliance, and of course.. when she was sealed. Alone, helpless, terrified, and without hope. Her life was over.

It didn’t take long for her life to still feel over, once the realization of what she signed sank into her every day life. Squall, naturally, was the person she went to for all of her grief. He listened until she was done, changed what was in his power without causing grief could change. At some point though, Rinoa could see the toll she alone was taking on him, making things complicated in other areas of his life, and her distress distressed him. She hated it - so slowly, she began hiding it. Focusing on other things, picking up hobbies, planning fun dates, spicing up the bedroom. Rinoa tapped into the ghost of herself, attempting to revert back to a version that was long gone even though she could play pretend.

It wasn’t that she didn’t enjoy their good moments - she very much did and treasured them. But more than not it was a performance, and the happier the moments, the more her genuine feelings were buried for the sake of trying to find happiness in their situation with the man she loved.

After a number of years of this being forged, she didn’t realize how bad things were becoming and how many secrets she was keeping. First it was her feelings. Then it was sneaking out of Garden. Resentment started to form anytime Esthar reinforced something new to cage her in further for Squall to ultimately conclude it was out of his hands and it was best to not push it least things are made worse. Discouraged, she would quit pressing, and started escaping more frequently. She hated being inside Garden, but time with him spent outside of it began feeling like she was a pet on a leash than them as a normal couple.

These problems would bubble to the surface. Tensions and problems were already present with passive aggression being the primary way she knew how to communicate how unhappy she was and communication, something she was formally good at, had developed into a trying task. Communication meant facing even a fraction of everything she has built up for years to hide for her sanity and their relationship, desperately trying to live as a ghost while inside she’s screaming. It isn’t something she easily knows how to do anymore, and attempts are forced to come out in other ways.

She has lost control before, becoming reduced to screaming and crying in hysterics while breaking apart collections, punching walls or the ground until her knuckles bled or even broke, to even hitting Squall if there’s an attempt to restrain her even for her own safety ( though this doesn’t last long and she latches onto him after a brief struggle with her meltdown continuing in sobbing hysterics until she runs out of energy ). These incidences have thus far been isolated and not leaked to anyone who was unfortunate enough to bare witness, though are a clear indication of a much bigger problem that is not being addressed.

Her breaking point came when Esthar came to Garden to implement multiple devices that would null her powers within a radius, which with a few of them being placed within Garden, would render the entire place as ‘sorceress proof’. Rinoa relies heavy on her magic and sorceress abilities to be able to escape and get back inside Garden, and her window to the outside world she snuck in and out of being sealed cause a rightful panic. Esthar sold this to Garden by stating it was in the best interest of Garden, so no one or property or Rinoa herself could be in danger of her powers as she is on record still struggling quite a bit with them. At face value, it didn’t look like a bad idea. Rinoa wasn’t supposed to even be using magic or her powers outside of strict supervision anyway, so as Esthar put it - ‘she can be a normal young woman in here’.

She begged Squall that this was too far and it wasn’t fair and this wasn’t anywhere in their contract. She agreed for them to run testing on her and to be used to create technology - not that they would follow her to Garden to force that technology she helped create back onto her. However, there is nothing saying the couldn’t either, and not wanting to make waves and hurt the continued bulding relationship between Garden and Esthar, it was out of what he was willing to do and likely also not seeing it as the big deal to her that it was, as he was unaware at this point she had been escaping.

This set Rinoa into a panic and desperate to escape Garden regardless of the cost. Outwardly, trying to hold composure though still obviously upset, she backed down from Squall without fighting nearly as much as she wanted to - both from feeling hopeless and his mind wouldn’t change, and that she was already trying to figure out how to get the hell out of here. Storming away from him ( which isn’t unusual of her to do when upset and often means to leave her alone for a while ), Rinoa beelined for the garage. There was one she distinctly recognized as Seifer’s, knowing it too well on the rare occasions he came here for reasons unknown to her. She also know he lives far, far from here, and he does not stay in Garden long at all. Rinoa attempts to phase into his vehicle though Odine’s technology had already been installed in multiple locations around Garden, the garage being one of them. The next attempt to get inside was by breaking in, trying to shimmy in something to get the door unlocked from the inside.

That’s where Seifer caught her, pulling her away from his car and acting as a barrier between her and it. Be damned if he’s going to smuggle a sorceress he, by his parole, is not allowed to be near, and be sent back to prison to rot. After aruging, begging, and promising once she’s out and far enough she will leave him alone - something with her pleas convinced Seifer to relent - begrudgingly, and take her with him.

It was decided she would leave at night to ensure she’d be undetected. Tensions between them slowly lowering, Rinoa finally explaining what was being done and why she was desperate to get out - along with an apology at forcing his hand. animosity between them - that magnet pole switched to repel, was beginning to switch back to that undeniable pull that - years later - still drew them into one another.

Rinoa was gathering her things without haste, body language ( bending down with intention to get attention on her backside, chevage more exposed with intent, playing with her hair, locking eye contact, ect ) coming from Rinoa to pull Seifer in if he wanted. It’s a horrible mistake she feels compelled to make, still angry and grief-stricken at feeling about Squall’s lack of support, understanding, and his agreeing to secure more bars around her cage.

As HMR put it brilliantly

I can imagine part of her just feels like tearing apart everything that is frustrating her, part of which is her relationship with Squall, so she just self destructs in a way

Back against the wall, bag in hand, she is taking her time in leaving to which Seifer isn’t seeming to mind, closing into her space while not getting too close, too aware this was a bad idea, of her sorceresses abilities, of Ultimecia’s thrall that ticked into his brain. But he comes closer, not so much that she’s pressed to the wall by him, but desire cannot, and would not, be ignored. Once she is more sure he will accept than reject, but still moving slowly, Rinoa moves on her tip toes to reach his lips with hers, holding for a few seconds with stilled breath at what would happen next.. for eventually his hands to move up, gently taking her face between his hands, and kiss her.

“Slow.”

#i write to calm down when i'm upset #enjoy

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its-thatching · 4 years

Text

Poor love in an Earthly Inferno: An Analysis of Maynila, sa Kuko ng Liwanag

Maynila, sa kuko ng liwanag is a film about a man trying to search for his lost love in the big city of manila while going through tough times and experiencing the pains of being poor in the city.

The film shows how bad life was in the 70’s when Marcos was still on the throne ruling with an iron first over the people. The economic and political climate of that era was thoroughly reflected as the audience followed the arduous lives of Julio and the people who were close to him. During the 70s, there was a period of severe unrest in the Philippines, full of civilian protests and demonstrations against the tyrannical rule of Marcos. A lot of protesters were injured by the military as well. Explicitly, the film depicts Julio’s desire to follow and save the love of his life from the unrelenting underbelly of Manila, a place that was commonly patterned after “the American dream” but, as we soon learn, was not as forgiving to dreamers as it was being depicted. Only after his arrival did he realize that city lifestyle requires so much for so little in return. His change from a hopeful, young swain who wanted to get his love back so they could finally live together in peace, to a man who eventually became a victim of his unfortunate demise as an impoverished being, living only for survival and losing so many people along the way. Implicitly, it shows the exploitation of the poor as they are desperate to survive and earn money for them and their family. With each day barely earning enough to eat.

The film is reflective of the society where we can be victims of circumstances that are out of our control and that from birth, our destinies are somehow set in stone--- if you were born poor, you will grow up poor. The system is rigged and doesn’t allow for growth, especially for the poor. For example, the construction site Julio used to work at participated in an organization wide scam where the construction workers were forced to buy their own earnings for a ten percent commission (called taiwan). Benny, one of Julio’s colleagues who had a dream to become a singer, died in a careless accident at work and was just swept under the rug without any consequences for the management. Atong, one of Julio’s friends in the construction site who offered him meals and lodging with his own family, got wrongly accused of stealing something in the workplace and met his demise under the hands of his fellow inmates. Perla, who was Atong’s sister, was forced to leave the place and sell her body for money. The film also shows that compassion is something the bourgeoisie lacks once they get into that place in society. Imo, Julio’s old friend from the site, escaped poverty by getting a business job.Once they saw each other again, it became clear that he forgot his past by being condescending toward the waitress in the canteen and telling the story of Atong’s demise and Perla’s story in such a nonchalant way. His ascent to the borgeous showed that while he escaped the life of an oppressed citizen, he just moved on as a complicit citizen to the oppressor. Another indication of this lesson in the film was when Pol was breaking the news of Ligaya’s unjust death to Julio in the canteen, the rich and the middle-class people’s laughs can be heard as the background. It was meant to show how people, once they escape the hands of poverty, may unconsciously turn a blind eye already to those who need help the most.

The location, which is along the streets of Binondo, plays a significant role in the film that seems straightforward on the surface, but is actually filled with symbolisms and allusions to the political and economic climate during the 70s. Ongpin is a historical street that got its namesake from a wealthy man who funded the Katipunan during the Spanish era. Meanwhile, Misericordia is a street that means pity in Latin. From the start, we see Julio standing idly on the intersection of the two aforementioned streets. This could possibly symbolize that he is on the intersection of pity and insurrection. Pity is a feeling of despair and helplessness that stems from the suffering of others. This is an idle feeling. Insurrection requires action. This entails actively fighting to change an oppressive landscape that the oppressed are suffering from. I believe that Julio standing on the crossroads of these two streets shows the struggles of people who are living below the poverty line. Pity can inspire us to embrace the social nature of humans, but it is not enough to help others. Pity can serve as an intrinsic drive to change the state of a place. Now it can be surmised that pity and insurrection can be the two possible paths Julio may follow in order to find and keep Ligaya by his side again. Ligaya, Julio’s first and one true love, left their province to be educated in the Capital of the Philippines. Her sudden departure with Ms. Cruz’ jewelry left Julio yearning for her. Not long after, he followed her to the streets of Manila, where he had no choice but to earn a living through different low-paying jobs like construction work and prostitution. When he finally saw Ligaya in Manila, she was pregnant with her captor’s baby. She briefly worked as a prostitute to make ends meet but eventually met with a Chinese man named Ah-teng who, at first, promised to save her from the life of selling flesh and doing tricks, but who took her in essentially as a captive and a love slave in his house. Julio had a choice on how to approach Ligaya: he could either wallow in self-pity and let the love of his life go, or revolt against the man who held Ligaya as a prisoner in his own house. In the end, Julio made a choice: he chose to avenge his beloved’s tragic although foreseeable fate: by killing the oppressor under the guise of the name Ah-tek, he stopped the cycle of abuse that Ah-teng could give to other women. However, Ah-tek is not the only man who yields this kind of desire for power.

Ligaya’s name itself could be an allegory for the unattainable dream of most Filipinos in this period: Ligaya Paraiso: meaning happiness in paradise. Julio’s devotion to finding Ligaya no matter what hardship comes in his way can embody our desire as Filipinos to try to reach the impossible. Ligaya was desecrated, used, and abused by men who didn’t value her beauty and humanity through paid sex work. She is seen merely as a commodity, something that money can buy. Ah-tek’s insistence to buy her and have her be constantly grateful for him, even treating him as a savior, or she’ll meet her demise, shows the conditions of life under the regime of the Marcoses. The former administration’s insistence of the masses to embrace the new society that they have built to benefit capitalists and those who are already in the top 1% of the country was a scam all along. In the end, the oppressed (Julio)’s resentment against the oppressors (ah-tek) who defiled something precious and reduced her to nothing but a hole to penetrate and throw away once done (Ligaya) ultimately led to a revolution which, sadly, also cost the oppressed’s life. The last scene where the camera panned to and focused on Julio’s face showed the last emotions running through Julio’s mind before his death: terror, most probably, but also anger to the oppressor and to those who are complicit in letting these oppressors take advantage of people like him, and sadness about the way things turned out for him and the people who cares about.

In terms of morality, I found it very amoral due to it never glorifying the struggles that people like julio and his friends experience. We say that normally filippino films glorify struggles to show that we filipinos are resilient beings.this film never used that route because it showed that its hard to become resilient when everything is against you. As for realism i find it more than realistic as it shows the struggles and extortion of the poor in manila during those times. Meanwhile, I say it has been very coherent because of its consistent story line and value it wants to portray towards the audience. Because throughout the movie it shows that it takes money to earn money and if you’re born poor you will struggle trying to go above the poverty line. Additionally, the film is somewhat complex when it comes to its storytelling. The audience are slowly plunged into the point of view of julio. Throughout his journey in trying to search for his missing lover, we get to experience the hardships and struggles that come hand-in-hand with trying to live in the underbelly of Manila, trying to barely live with just the bare minimum to survive each day. With this in mind, we start to fear the worst for Ligaya: if Julio himself is struggling to fend for himself during such a cruel time, what more for Ligaya?

With certain scenes lightly hinting towards prostitution, we start to understand Julio’s anxiety about the state of his missing lover as he desperately searched and waited outside her last known location in the hopes that he would find her safe and alive. During the penultimate scene of the film, we find her safe and alive and in seemingly good condition. This brings relief to the audience and to Julio, who is glad to have finally found her alive. But all that hope is destroyed when Ligaya tells her experiences while traveling to Manila and the news that she already had three children with the people who had enslaved her. This subverts the audience’s expectation: thinking everything was alright and Ligaya was safe and has found her place in the city. Heartbroken but not deterred, Julio convinces Ligaya to run back home with him where they could be safe and start life anew. As Julio waited for Ligaya to escape the hands of Ah-tek, we already knew the worst had happened when she never came. In reality, it is extremely hard to escape a domestic abuser; the average attempts of women who tried to escape their abusers was 7 times. I believe that Julio should’ve been more careful and helped her more by planning her escape thoroughly. As an audience member, we were led to a state of denial because we are used to romance movies with happy endings where the main lead would run off with the female co-star and have a peaceful and well-deserved end. This movie did not follow that convention, but later on in the movie it is confirmed that ligaya has died trying to escape. The demise of his lover prompted Julio to swear vengeance towards Ligaya's captors. In the end, during his darkest state he murdered the man responsible for Ligaya's death and, in turn, murdered himself. I would say that the premise isn’t entirely original because this movie was created in an age of cinema where movies would mostly show or depict the struggle of Filipinos during martial law. It was a time when creativity was limited due to the limited freedom of expression brought about by the Marcos administration. They had to find a medium where they could show and open the minds of Filipinos during that time by depicting the harsh reality around them. Most Filipino films during this period were used as propaganda vehicles against the system. One example of a film that was made in the same era is Insiang, where it also depicted life below the poverty line in Manila and a struggling female character whose dignity was stripped off of her like it meant nothing. However, I believe that Maynila, sa kuko ng liwanag is somewhat original when it comes to the ending. Not many movies would have their main character be brutally killed as the ending scene. The concept isn’t original; it has been done before I’m sure but it’s rarely used.

This story is one of the many windows to the past, it shows the way of thinking of people way back during those times and besides the upgrade in technology and fashion the poor still remain poor while the rich gets richer and everything is still the same as it was back then.

#oldmovies #filipino movie

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moonlitgleek · 5 years

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Thank god someone finally said it! Catelyn was a HORRIBLE wife, a worse mother, and an even worse person. The most tragic and overlooked aspect of Ned's story is that he got saddled with her. It made his life miserable, and brought ruin to his house and seven kingdoms as a whole. Getting his head cut off might even be a mercy compared to coming back home and living the rest of his life with THAT. Then again, if it weren't for her, his head wouldn't have been cut in the first place.

Sometimes I really hate this damn site.

You know, it’s people like you that cripple discussion of nuanced or complicated characters through the tendency to take every bit of criticism as a confirmation of your hate and an invitation to spew it all over everyone. I shouldn’t be wary of openly criticizing a character for fear that those who hate them would misconstrue my words and use it to fuel their nonsense arguments, which happens near every time I think to criticize someone, especially when it’s a female character. Even when I specifically say that that I don’t think this character a bad person like in this case. Did you miss the last paragraph of my post? Did you miss the entirety of @secretlyatargaryen‘s post? Because it has been reiterated that Cat is not a bad person or a bad mother. The point is not to bash Catelyn as you seem interested in doing but to point out that her actions with Jon are wrong and that they affected more than just Jon. But I guess I shouldn’t be surprised that someone who calls a woman “that” as if she is some thing and who seems invested in blaming her for everything she does is only interested in using our criticism to disparage and vilify Cat.

By the way, your message is as factually inaccurate as it is disgusting, anon. Let’s break it down.

Fallacy #1: Ned was saddled with Catelyn.

In a society that cares not a whit about women’s consent or feelings, it’s almost amusing that you think that it’s the man who gets saddled with the woman. Between Ned and Catelyn, guess which one had any kind of power in the situation? Ned. Hoster Tully might have demanded that Ned honor the betrothal to Catelyn as a price for his support in the war but it was still Ned’s choice to accept or refuse. But the rebels needed the Riverlands if they wanted to win the war, you say. Sure, and Ned made a choice for strategic reasons, but he still had the space to make the choice. Do you think that Catelyn did? Do you think Hoster bothered to ask her if she minded marrying the brother of the guy that she has been betrothed to for years and grew up expecting to marry? Do you think he bothered to consider that it’s callous to marry his daughter off so soon after her betrothed died and to his own brother? And even if he did, a woman who was raised with Family, Duty, Honor so hammered into her psyche and who, like every other woman in Westeros, was raised on how her place was to marry someone of her father’s choosing stands no chance. The system is broken and Catelyn Tully is as much its victim as any other woman in Westeros.

Fallacy #2: Catelyn made Ned miserable and his death was a mercy compared to being with her.

What an egregious (and delusional) thing to say that Ned is better off dead than being with the woman he loves and the children he adores. What an awful thing to say that anything pertaining to Ned’s death is a mercy. The man’s death was a knife to the hearts of his wife and children, but you think it’s better for him than the company of the wife he literally spends a book yearning for. That’s messed up.

I don’t know what book you’ve read or what you’re basing your claims on, but in my copy, Ned Stark is a man who clearly loves and values his wife as a person. He builds a sept for her because he respects her and wants her to have the comfort of her gods. There is a great deal of affection and comfort that shines through their interactions, and clear evidence in Catelyn’s second chapter in AGoT that Ned seeks and enjoys her company. In my copy, I see a guy who shows tremendous political trust in his wife that he leaves Winterfell and the North in her hands when he leaves with the expectation that she would continue Robb’s education and who trusts her to start mobilizing the Northern banners. I see a guy who reacts in wonderment to seeing Catelyn in King’s Landing, and constantly reflects on how he wishes he is with her during his tenure as Hand. I see Catelyn occupying Ned’s thoughts in his imprisonment that one of his regrets is that he’ll never see her again. If that’s being miserable, sign me up. For more of Ned’s so-called misery in his marriage, please refer to this post.

But Jon Snow, right? Yes, but Jon Snow. Jon’s presence has always been a point of conflict between Ned and Cat but that does not change the nature of their relationship. No one says that a loving happy marriage doesn’t have its problems or that it has to be perpetually conflict-free. Also, don’t forget that Jon’s presence in Winterfell was by Ned’s own decision. I’m not saying that Ned was wrong to bring Jon to Winterfell and I’m very sympathetic to his reasons and respectful of his desire to do right by an innocent child, I have a lot of respect for the man precisely because he acted as a father to Jon and gave him a family. But I’m under no illusion that this didn’t come at Catelyn’s expense, which is something that Ned himself was aware of. I am critical of how Cat treated Jon Snow, but it’s important to see that she wasn’t in the best situation either, because this is just another sign of how little control or say she had, even in her own home. The entire situation was inherently imperfect but while I do fault Cat for taking out her lack of control on the one person who had less control that she did and who also happens to be an innocent child, I’m not unsympathetic to her pain and anger over Ned’s indiscretions or to her fear for her children. The patriarchy says that Catelyn should accept that her husband would cheat on her, that this is a situation that she has to accept and has no right to change because her husband has the power, that she can’t be angry and resentful of Ned for the situation. For the sake of her marriage, for the sake of her children, Catelyn had to let go of her anger towards Ned but that anger does not disappear just because she pushed it down, so she redirected it onto the living reminder of her husband’s nominal infidelity who also happens to be a reminder of her lack of control. That is not an excuse for her actions with Jon that are objectively wrong but it is an explanation that shows that Catelyn is not inherently a bad person. She is a victim of her society and its social construct, which is one reason that makes her abuse of Jon gutting to me, since Jon is also a victim of their society and its social construct. Cat took her own disadvantage on the one person who was more disadvantaged than her. I can’t fault anyone for having negative feelings towards her over that particular situation since she was essentially kicking down at Jon and taking her problems out on a child, but this is far more complicated than “Catelyn is an evil person”.

Fallacy #3: Catelyn was a bad mother and person.

People are more complicated than the binary of “infallible” and “monster” that you seem to be operating on. Good people can make grievous mistakes regardless of their good intentions, and it’s not like those mistakes suck out their morality with them. Catelyn’s parenting wasn’t perfect. She pressures Arya to conform out of a conventional viewpoint and a desire to see her daughter lead a good life (as does Ned, btw), but ends up harming Arya. Her grief over Bran’s fall and coma and her exhaustion in keeping a vigil by his bedside puts pressure on Robb and hurts Rickon. Her abuse of Jon echoes through the family and inadvertently hurts her own children. Even the well-intentioned fail sometimes. Would you care to hear about the times Ned did too?

However, it remains that Catelyn’s entire character is build around her love for her family and her dedication to her children. She throws herself between an armed man and her comatose child with no thought to her life. She is constantly tormented by her distance from Bran and Rickon and blames herself for not being there for them. She is literally the only one who thinks that Sansa and Arya’s lives are worth trading against Jaime Lannister’s. She wants nothing but to send Robb to safety when she meets up with his army but recognizes that this would be extremely bad for his position. She bargains for Robb’s life while injured and spares no thought to her own life in the process. She refuses to accept that Arya is dead and holds out hope for her return. She champions Robb’s cause and does her level best to guide him, but also affords him space to grown on his own and is greatly proud of his leadership. No, I don’t consider Cat a bad parent at all, even with her mistakes. Those errors were a result of parental frailty and misguided protectiveness.

Questioning Cat’s personality in general doesn’t hold up either. She defends and befriends Brienne. She tries to reassure Edmure that their father loves and is proud of him. She feels guilty after Rickard Karstark kills the Lannister prisoners and feels his accusations acutely. She empathizes with Jeyne and reassures her of her place despite her displeasure with the marriage. She feels sadness for Mya Stone’s innocence over her doomed love with Mychel Redfort. There are places where Cat’s empathy fail her but if I denounce everyone who has a moment of failed empathy or who ever does a morally questionable thing, I’d be dismissing every single character in this entire series as a bad person. There are no perfect people in GRRM’s narrative, so what makes Cat’s imperfections specifically worthy of condemnation?

Fallacy #4: Catelyn should be blamed for Ned’s death, the ruin of House Stark and the Seven Kingdoms.

Right. Tyrion’s arrest. That did not start the war because the war was already in the works before the royal family even arrives in Winterfell.

I’m growing increasingly irritated with the tendency to blame any random Stark for the war which builds on deliberate dismissal of what everyone else was doing that led to the war. Sorry to say but the war was inevitable even if Catelyn never seizes Tyrion. It was inevitable because Stannis knew that the royal children were illegitimate and was preparing for war. It was inevitable because Renly knew that the royal children were illegitimate and was preparing for his own takeover. That guarantees a showdown with Tywin and the rest of the Lannisters no matter what, and puts Stannis and Renly on opposite sides. Don’t forget that Littlefinger and Varys were invested in pitting the Starks and the Lannisters against each other for their own gain as well. The entire situation was a powder keg waiting to blow long before any Stark stepped a foot in King’s Landing.

Blaming Catelyn, or any Stark really, for the War of the Five Kings and all it brought only serves to exonerate those who are responsible for it. Jaime and Cersei have an affair, pass their children as royal heirs and kill to maintain that fallacy. Jaime pushes Bran out of a window and Joffrey tries to have him killed. Cersei plots to have Robert killed and puts her plan into motion before Ned even finds out about the twincest. Baelish encourages Lysa to poison Jon Arryn and frame the Lannisters, then lies about the owner of the dagger used in the attempt of Bran’s life. He betrays Ned to Cersei and conspires till he gets Joffrey to kill Ned. Tywin Lannister sends men to burn and pillage the Riverlands, then plans with the Freys and the Boltons to murder Robb and his army at a wedding. Balon Greyjoy decides that avenging himself on a dead man is the height of power and embarks on an idiotic campaign in the North. Theon betrays the Starks and seizes Winterfell. Imagine having all that awfulness and all these contributing players to the war, but somehow finding the war Catelyn’s fault. Yes, I know the reasoning is that her arrest of Tyrion put the Starks and the Lannisters in open conflict and “made” Tywin attack the Riverlands. Except that Catelyn is not responsible for the fact that the Lannister go-to method is to commit war crimes and go stabby. A normal person could have protested Tyrion’s arrest to the king and painted the Starks as the aggressors but no, Tywin Lannister makes his own laws and he chooses to take it out on the Tullys’ smallfolk. That’s on him. Also, are we going to pretend that the Starks and the Lannisters weren’t already poised for a conflict after two attacks on Bran’s life? Or that Ned’s discovery of the twincest and his execution on Joffrey’s orders wasn’t going to drag the Starks into the war anyway?

Fun fact: of all the fighting factions in the War of the Five Kings, it’s Catelyn Stark who tries repeatedly to put a stop to the war. She pleads for peace in Robb’s council. She tries to broker an alliance between Robb and Renly, and points out that no one but Robb is doing a thing to protect the people against the Lannisters. She tries to get the Baratheon brothers to unify and reach an accord because common sense says that they all of them have the same enemy, and their conflict benefits no one but the Lannisters. Catelyn does not start the war, but she sure tries to end it. Sadly, no one listens to her.

Now please don’t come to me again with your victim-blaming, character bashing arguments.

#asoiaf #valyrianscrolls #catelyn stark #ned stark #robb stark #arya stark #sansa stark #bran stark #jon snow #hoster tully #the war of the five kings #stark family dynamics #ask box #Anon asks

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scarlettsabetlondongirl · 4 years

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January 9th is:

Jimmy Page’s Birthday!

Capricorn

Excerpted from The Sex Files: by Rowan Davis

December 22 - January 20

He's told you before that sex to him is not knowing where you end and where he begins, and you're surprised that a man so self-contained allows his body to mesh with another's so completely. In fact, you've learned to pay careful attention to the small things with him—a glance, a touch, a shift in stance speaks volumes about what he's feeling. These little clues provide infinitely more comfort than a thousand words, because you know that talk is cheap. The simple kindness he gives you provides his feelings well enough, for when he fills you, he looks into your eyes and you know that you fill him just as completely.

Saturn, the Deposed King

Commander of the old holy order, Saturn ruled during the Golden Age of man, when all was a utopia and man was still pure. Eventually, Saturn was dethroned by his son, Jupiter (Greek: Zeus) and man sank to the folly and hedonism personified by Jupiter's many lusts and his desire for vengeance. The Capricorn himself always has the air of a man eternally stuck in the good old days. He's aware of the destructive changes men have wrought on themselves, and still he tries to maintain some of the original purity of the race of mankind through traditional values. He clings to his beliefs, maintaining a stoic, detached exterior. And he reacts to his patron's fall from favor by retaining some grace and attempting to achieve a measure of respect for himself through social and economic positions.

In astrology, Saturn governs self-control, responsibility, and the "thou shall not's" of life. The Capricorn male is not so much born to rule as he is a man who has already ruled and is having one hell of a time giving up the leadership position. In an effort to do so, he may become overly judgmental of others or over lax in his self-control, resorting to drugs and alcohol to help him relax his need to dominate a situation, or even as tools for subversively doing so. Saturn himself, in fear of losing his authority, ate his children as soon as they were born to ensure they could not fulfill the prophesy of one of them taking his throne. When Zeus attempted to do just that, such a war ensued as to nearly destroy the world. And, as many exiled rulers are, he became the scapegoat for everything that was wrong, while Jupiter, the new ruler, was heralded as the perfect king.

His Top Traits Explored

He's Repressed. The sign of Capricorn stands for restriction, self-control, social status, and generally any pursuit that takes a great deal of time for fruition. The Capricorn male faces a life-long struggle with his excessive tendencies, trying to package his larger-than-life personality into a more conventional bread box to make it easier for himself and others to handle.

As a somewhat pessimistic fatalist, the Capricorn male leans toward self-indulgence, especially of the illegal substance and sexual affair varieties. (After all, what's the point of being so self-controlled if there's nothing there that needs to be controlled?) It's uncomfortably easy for him to talk himself into betraying his lover or his health by reminding himself that everything's bound to end anyway, regardless of what he does at any particular moment. However, he could not be a Capricorn without rigid self-regulation, and in an attempt to control his raunchier cravings, many Capricorn men have a tendency to become fanatical followers of religion or societal traditions. Part of him believes that women were made to take care of men, and that it is his lover's job to make sure his home life is as comfortable and secure as possible, regardless of his extra-marital activities.

His fluctuation between steely repression and melting self-indulgence is a trademark of his sexual expressiveness in the bedroom. His sudden passions are followed by long periods of detachment—in a way, his abstinence is a means of penance for his previous hot and heavy behavior either because his religious attitudes make him feel guilty or because he has scared himself with his inhibitions and the power of his lust for you. If his partner becomes resentful over this ebb and flow, he's likely to take his sexual attentions elsewhere, letting her deal with one side of his personality and his mistress the other.

There's also a certain kinkiness hidden in the Capricorn's personality. It doesn't have to do with various positions, exotic accoutrements, etc. It has more to do with playing a few taboo masculine roles like simulating rape or incest, playing High Priest or Dark Official during sexual religious rites, or having sex with multiple women or prostitutes at the same time. Again, what's the point of repression if there's nothing to repress?

He's Emotionally Aloof. Does he want a relationship or not? Is he interested in you sexually? Is he in love or does he just barely tolerate you? It's hard to tell with this stoic man. Although it's tough to see on the surface, he does have feelings—quite a lot of them, actually, and they all run deep. His heart is remarkably fragile, and when he falls in love he does so with such abandon that it terrifies him; however, there's a good chance that the object of his affection knows little about his feelings for her.

One of the reasons for his lack of demonstrativeness is that he's always holding out for something better to come along and he doesn't want to make any commitment before he's sure that his lover is as good as he'll get. He enjoys the freedom of being able to move from one woman to another, even if it tears him apart. Being born under the sign of repression means that he's continually fluctuating between extravagant displays and total emotional detachment.

In order to find out how this man is feeling, it will probably be necessary to poll the people closest to him, and you can expect to get a small piece of the puzzle from each. He'll only rarely tell you outright, and any attempt to force it out of him will be met by either withdrawal or with an explosion of anger. Even after sex, his emotions are difficult to determine, and he's one of those men who will talk about previous relationships more than his current one without any regard as to which is more important or dedicated.

He's Practical. Each action is carefully thought out and every consequence examined in each facet. The Capricorn male is rational and practical; his life is measured and ambitious. His extreme practicality is a method of hiding his sometimes bizarre inner life and it also serves as a way to minimize the effects of his impulsive tendencies, which can devastate his finances and relationships.

Measuring every quality of his lover before forming any commitments can be a blow to his partner's pride. It is, however, a habitual Capricorn trademark. When he does commit, it's with the understanding that he'll leave if someone better comes along. Often, he attempts to soften the impact of this by telling his partner that she has the same option. The perpetual social climber, he prefers to marry for money and status rather than love, although if he stumbles upon the embodiment of his ideals (usually someone naïve and wholesome), he'll be willing to lessen the financial expectations somewhat—especially if his own situation is stable.

Although his approach to sex is practical, he has more than the normal amount of fetishes and far-out fantasies. His practical nature gets in the way of his sexual expression as he is bound by what he feels he is and is not allowed to do in bed. Eventually, this unspent energy has to go somewhere, and he'll either find himself in another woman's bed or drowning in substance abuse. His traditional mindset, the prescribed roles for women, his all-important social standing all link together to make it nearly impossible for him to find a mate who's as in to unusual sex as he is; although, he's infinitely happier if he's able to make such a connection.

Sex with a Capricorn Male

Being made of cardinal earth, this man is more than likely extremely good in bed. When not engaged in his aforementioned kinkier acts, he likes straight sex without the frills—on the surface, anyway. He has some naughtier inclinations that he might not feel comfortable having the "traditional woman" he's chosen to partner with satisfy. (Doing so would detract from her wholesome appearance.) He enjoys pleasuring his partner, taking firm command of her body. Capricorns tend to be born with the sexual knowledge of an experienced middle-aged man. As long as he isn't one of those deeply repressed or traditional Capricorns who tend to expect his partner to please or stimulate him rather than doing any of the work himself, he will take most of the accountability for the caliber of the sex in his relationships, using his ability to delay his own orgasms to both his and his partner's advantage.

He's often attracted to other men because they possess qualities he wishes he himself had. With his general confusion about the metaphysics of sex, he can turn this attraction or appreciation into sexual energy, wishing to be a part of the other man through sexual means in order to somehow share in his glory. Because of his typically traditional values, such feelings can leave him traumatized and distraught about his masculinity, and drive him to pursue ever more female conquests or religious purifications.

It's rare for the Capricorn to have a sexual experience that isn't well thought out beforehand—even his affairs are planned. Because sex has a lot of traditional and religious meanings, the Capricorn cannot and will not take it lightly, although he may take his relationships for granted. For this reason, sex with him can feel like a solemn event, full of dark looks and ritualism and lacking in any positive or joyous emotion. When his oppressive air is coupled with his tendency to cheat, the Capricorn's worst enemy is himself and his partners have a high risk of suffering negative emotional consequences simply for being involved with him.

Preferred Games

The Metrosexual. He knows how to dress to play his role to its best advantage. His shirt, pants, shoes, and woman are all in style and look fabulous draped around him. He's desperately interested in social status, and seeks ways of outdoing every other man in the room—he doesn't really take the competition from women very seriously. Everything is designed and arranged to best suit him and his ambitions; he isn't afraid to marry purely for money or status.

The Zealot. Whichever religion he chooses—probably the most popular one in his area—he's absolutely certain of its truth. He brings piety to a new level, and you'll find him in church whenever they'll let him in. Religion gives him a ready-made list of rules and restrictions, and an explanation for why each and every one of them is necessary and what to do to absolve himself of any indiscretion he commits. He won't always stick to the sexual rules prescribed to him, but he will at least feel guilty each time he violates them.

The Man. He's the man, and that means he's in charge. He's the breadwinner, wears the pants in the family, and makes all the major decisions. He can be as stubborn as an unruly child when he doesn't get his way, and he actually stomps his foot and pouts, perhaps even knocking over a few plates, until you give in. He firmly believes that women are scatter-brained, petty, catty, childlike people, who are there for his pleasure and should come and go at his command. He can be persuaded by them, sure, but only because he enjoys spoiling them and making them giggle. The truth is that he doesn't like competition and by undermining over half the population, he removes over half of his challengers.

The Master. As already noted, the Capricorn male loves being in charge and some of his favorite sexual fantasies involve playing the masculine role in some inappropriate sexual situation. He loves being in full control of his partner, and having her either obey his every command, or be in such a scenario where she has no choice but to acquiesce, such as blindfolded and gagged. When he plays with BDSM, there are no safe words involved. Playing with experienced, "well-worn" women makes these games easier in the end, and he isn't above hiring help.

The Corrupter. Few things meet his egotistical, misogynistic needs like corrupting someone who already has a higher status and is purer of thought and body. He enjoys wealthy, naïve women to whom he can introduce sex, drugs, and the dark side of society. Orchestrating an aristocrat's fall from grace, and being the maestro of her descent, is intoxicating for him and helps him affirm some of his beliefs that women should act as he thinks they should, or suffer the consequences.

What He Needs to Learn About Sex

Mr. Capricorn needs to find a means of strengthening his confidence out of the bedroom before he decides to bring his ego into bed with him. His traditional views of women can place undue restriction on both him and his partner, and true emotional fulfillment in a relationship occurs when both people are equal and equally appreciated. He would also benefit from learning how to experience joy in sex. Meditation and concentration on physical sensations rather than intellectual consequences could help him here, especially if the exercises are done with a partner he respects and cherishes.

Photo: Photographer Ross Halfin

#jimmy page #led zeppelin #Guitarist #rock star #capricorn #capricorn man #capricorn men #rowan davis

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the-potter-analyst · 4 years

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Chapter 13 - The Very Secret Diary

Harry Potter and the Sacred Text word of the day: Cowardice

What’s with these themes having so many complicated connotations to them lol. At face value cowardice is just lacking courage to do something, but as I found while reading this chapter, it can be a tricky thing to label sometimes. Like do you count Ron’s hesitancy to pick up the diary in the bathroom cowardice? Or is he only being cautious because of stories he’s heard about bewitched books? Should Harry be counted as a coward when he’s confronted by the Valentine’s dwarf? Or is he simply acting like an adolescent boy who has no idea how to handle romance? Is Tom Riddle a coward for putting blame on Hagrid or is it simply a means to an end? Honestly I think it’s both sides. Like some of the previous themes in this book, acting cowardly isn’t necessarily a harmful or bad thing.

So to summarize: yes I think all these situations are cowardly by definition. Ron doesn’t want to take the diary because he’s afraid something bad might happen to either him or Harry by doing so. Thus Ron lacked the courage to face this possible danger, but it wasn’t an illogical fear. In fact, it’s quite logical, because they had no idea what the book was or why someone tried to flush it down the toilet. And Ron wasn’t wrong either, the diary is very dangerous. Also I want to take a moment to say that whole scene in the bathroom was peak humor and I would love to see it in comic form. It’s just, Ron: *freaking out about all the things a book can do* and Harry: dude. it’s a book 😂 A missed opportunity in the movies if they weren’t so focused on making Ron look like a doofus.

Ron is also weirdly perceptive sometimes, often when he’s not trying to be. Like in B4, he writes random stuff about Harry for Divinations that end up happening. He was right about the diary being dangerous, just not in the way he expected. And he was right about Tom Riddle murdering Myrtle. And it was just a flippant comment. Speaking of that, I want to reproach Ron for saying killing Myrtle would’ve done “everyone a favor” because wishing death on someone is never ok. He probably didn’t understand the meaning behind his words, but I hear people say stuff like that so often that I wish they thought about how such negative words affects others and themselves, whether it’s about someone else or themselves.

We’ve been officially introduced to our first Horcrux! It’s interesting reading about Harry’s behavior around the diary knowing that 1) the diary is a Horcrux and 2) Harry is also a Horcrux. He notes how it seems he can’t throw the diary away and how it feels like Tom Riddle is some long lost friend, which can only be explained by those two things respectively.

I also want to get into Tom Riddle himself and the memory he showed Harry. Tom Riddle/Voldemort is very much a coward at his core, he’d rather go the easy route and connect with others by fear than having any meaningful connections with others. He values himself above anything else to the point of a complex and that to me sounds like someone who’s trying to overcompensate for something. Tom grew up at a muggle orphanage, and besides having magical powers he could control really well, he was completely powerless about his situation. Which is probably why Tom antagonized the people at the orphanage, to feel like he had power. And that extends to his life at Hogwarts, including opening the Chamber of Secrets. The only reason he closes the Chamber up is because it jeopardized Hogwarts as an institution, a place he considered as his home. I wonder how he found the Chamber entrance though 🤔 It’s interesting that both Harry and Dippet assume Tom to be muggle-born, so I wonder if he constantly had to explain that he’s actually half-blood. And I’m sure that would’ve irked him a lot. Tom must have so much self hate for having muggle blood in him.

As much as Harry and Tom had similar beginnings, they have such opposite personalities. They were both orphaned as infants and taken into hostile homes, were isolated and alone for much of their lives, and for Tom, he became resentful, pessimistic, and formed a superiority complex. Yet Harry remained hopeful, caring, and formed a high sense of morality. One internalizes blood purity while the other befriends muggle-borns. One is incapable of love (and rejects it) while the other has so much love in him.

I feel so bad for Hagrid, an innocent bystander, who unknowingly took the fall for Tom Riddle. I also can’t believe Harry truly thought for a bit that Hagrid opened the Chamber. And I wonder why Dumbledore didn’t intervene when he saw all these disturbing signs around Tom that he may fall into the dark arts. He couldn’t have accused Tom of opening the Chamber bc there would’ve been no proof, but Dumbledore was the one to visit Tom at the orphanage when he was eleven and watched him grow up. Dumbledore was “friends” with Grindlewald, so he must’ve recognized those signs in Tom, but he chose to do nothing until it was too late. Was Dumbledore in denial and overlooking those details in hopes they weren’t true? Did he just not know what to do? I guess those are things for me to look for as I get into the later books.

Backing up a bit, Harry Brave In Face Of Danger Potter, is freaked out at the prospect of receiving a Valentine lol. I mean, he’s like a typical middle school kid but he also has Zero experience with this type of stuff. And he also values his privacy as someone who’s famous. So Harry’s first reaction is getting out of the uncomfortable situation since he has no idea what to do, and the second when he can’t do that is asking to receive the Valentine somewhere private. And also poor Ginny, who can’t properly talk to Harry without tripping over her own feet, resorts to sending him an anonymous Valentine only for it to go completely wrong.

I also want to talk about Ginny. I think in previous posts I’ve been treating Ginny like she’s always been completely aware of her actions, but it’s probably more like weird and hazy dreams she has that end up aligning with the attacks on students. Which idk which is worse, being aware and not having control over your body in those moments, or waking up and later realizing the things you’ve done. And 3 months (and 3 attacks) later, Ginny finally pieces together that all of it happened bc of the diary and tried to throw it away. Which is also an act of cowardice, because instead of going to Dumbledore or McGonagall about it, she attempted to rid herself of the blame and the problem. I’m not trying to fault her since she just a confused and scared child and for all Ginny knows, she’ll be expelled if she reveals that she opened the Chamber. I mean, she was so scared at the prospect of Harry figuring this out that she stole the diary back. But also thank god Ginny chose Myrtle’s toilet and the diary was washed up, or else the diary would be at the bottom of the lake and impossible to find again when Harry’s on his Horcrux mission.

Small things:

Bless Madam Promfrey (again) for saving Hermione from the embarrassment of being seen looking like a furry

Also bless Harry and Ron for visiting Hermione in the hospital wing every day

I can’t believe Harry’s first use of Expelliarmus is to get back the diary. And he used it successfully on the first try, with only seeing it used once owo

I feel like “lucky I recorded my memories in some more lasting way than ink” is an understatement

Previous: Chapter 12 - The Polyjuice Potion

Next: Chapter 14 - Cornelius Fudge

#i'll start putting especially long posts fully under the cut #which will probably happen more as the chapters get longer!#hp #hp meta #hp analysis #chamber of secrets #cos meta #harry potter #ron weasley #ginny weasley #rubeus hagrid #tom riddle #voldemort #albus dumbledore

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myfandomrambles · 5 years

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Marcia Overstrand Character Analysis

Facts:

Born as a powerful wizard but with no guaranteed access to the best education, but trained hard to get it.

Apprenticed by Alther Mella after Silas Heap quit. Becoming the Castle's ExtraOrdinary Wizard(highest rank) at a relatively young age having not technically being given the ceremony.

Witnessed the death Alther Mella & the Queen

Had to create a plan to protect the infant princess Jenna directly after the death of the people she closest to. Is forced to trust the Heaps who she does not get along with. Spends much of Jenna’s life continuing to protect her indirect for the first decade and hands-on in adolescents.

Spent a decade trying to protect the Castle while her Castle was torn away by the Custodians and DomDaniel. Often serving as not only the leader of the Wizards but acts as the leader of the political running of the Castle as well.

Saved Boy 412/Septimus from freezing to death with no reason to at that point. Offered Septimus an apprenticeship before knowing he’s a 7th son or 7th son

Spent a lot of time trying to protect her home even when separated

Has eccentric style choices, something people built into a mystique around he

A strict but fair leader of her people

imprisoned in the pit, chased, hunted and suffered multiple assassination attempts including ones that have extreme explicit mental effects

After giving Septimus the title ends up helping with Ancient Ways portals learning about and protecting them.

Maries late in life to Milo Banda (Jenna’s biological father)

Analysis:

Marcia Overstrand is a strong character who excels at leadership and perseverance. Living through a lot of disarray in the Castle she often had to take on the role of protecting the order and balance of the Castle, and not even just her domain of the Wizard Tower. Jenna becomes the only member of the royal caste in the Castle, and at the start, she is only 10 to 11 years old. Jenna's adoptive parents have no care for running the Castle, and her biological father is not in the line of female succession and he chooses to not be involved for most of the time. Leaving Marcia as the only person in a good position to actually protect and plan for the Castle. This lasts until Jenna is truly the Crown Princess and more fully when she is made Queen at the end of the original series and in the TodHunter series. Marcia is then able to leave the Castle to Jenna and later the Wizard Tower to Septimus. During the time she is doing both jobs, she has many disagreements with Jenna's parents, the Manuscriptorium and later the alchemist/physicians based on her way of running things and ego.

Marcia being in this role of power and duty create a pretty high level of isolation form most people. As being the highest wizard in being the ExtraOrdinary Wizard is a highly respected position. Marcia becomes pretty used to others listening to her and many showing deferences. While being used to this treatment and expecting everything from her enchanted household objects to the normal Castle residents to recognize her authority. Though she explicitly did not understand how well she could do “scary”, and how much that played into the way others view her. Adding to a disconnection she has with the wider population. She did genuinely deserve a lot of this respect for protecting the Castle and being extremely skilled at her craft and leadership, even if there are some unintentional aspects.

However, this disconnection does have downsides. In the earlier stories, it really seems the only person she had to be close was the host of her Mentor and father figure who died before her eyes. She struggles to connect with people from being so separated by circumstance. The only people who don't treat her with respect (not including Darke enemies) were some of the chief scribes, Silas Heap, and the Alchemist Marcellus Pye. The other members in the historically high prestige positions within the Castle tend to not want to pay deference or obey to a person they are hypothetically equal to in power. Silas and Marcia squabble pretty regularly due to Silas had been the extraordinary apprentice before Marcia and being the father of Jenna and Septimus but Marcia being closer to his son then he is and her being more capable of protecting his only daughter.

Most of the time Marcia acts in a very business-like manner, trying to be as practical, efficient and effective in times of peace and crisis. She, however, is strongly driven by emotion, being willing to use more Darke Magyk when protecting those she loves. Her Magyk even being more powerful during times of stress. Pride, love, compassion, loyalty and duty drive her more than anything practical even if her way of handling things is procedural and makes other emotion-driven characters deeply angry at her.

Marcia is also susceptible to ego trips and any threats towards the people she cares for. Shutting down her emotional expression through her personality and many years of isolation mean her shows of emotion can feel disconnected as it might be done through trying to find ways to fix things without involving those she is trying to help or might show through other actions like remembering things people enjoy or need.

Marcia’s strong sense of loyalty and protectives pushes her to more than once go against the traditions of the Wizard Tower and Castle she usually respected. She never really had time for pomp and circumstance but was steadfast in the traditions when it came to Magyk as a respected ideal in and of itself and by dedication to such practice and respect and fondness of the Wizard Tower she did tend to follow tradition. However, Marcia more than once does buck tradition in order to protect Septimus and the wider Castel. An example is she tries to help Septimus escape the Queste, and ends up invoking some spells with a touch of Darke in order to fight during extreme circumstances challenging her loved ones, something she had the traditional light Wizards fear, though not the extent of the Ordinary Wizards as being ExtraOrdinary demands some understanding of Darke, as the builder of the Wizard Tower Ho-Tep Ra and ancient forms of Magyk invoke all kinds of Magyk. Her pride can cause issues not always allowing others to help and being self-aggrandizing. Her clip way of speaking and not taking others feelings into account can make her ability to form friendships really poor. A constant drive to improve and control the situation can cause issues as well blinding her to things around her and different points through the story, learning to trust others skill being a huge step for her.

Over time she does learn to let down her walls of pride and stubbornness and shows pretty amazing shows of forgiveness, wider compassion and humility. Starting with helping with the Young Army reentry plans letting some of them work in the Wizard Tower. Later she learns to work with an Alchemist's who she has a deep mistrust of and blames for almost losing Septimus and Jenna, hurting other innocent people in the process. A pretty strong example of forgiveness can be seen in the group forgiving Simon. Marcia even seeks the help from Simon Heap who had attempted to kill her while under DomDaniel’s Darke influence. She forgives his missteps and seeks his knowledge where she lacks it.

Marcia’s most important background relationship in the story is Alther Mella the previous extraordinary wizard. He clearly is like a father to her and a clearly important mentor before and after death. They do fight about best practice but she has clear emotion and respect for his opinions. This parental relationship she has is a huge factor in her fights with Silas, way more than disagreements in best practice or resentment of the other's station. They both want to essentially be Alther’s favourite child. Alther however even recognizes this saying he cares for them both. Being a grandfather/uncle to the Heap kids, and a secondary mentor and teacher for Septimus. Alther plays a key role emotionally and practically throughout the story even though he has died. Marcia’s relationship with Septimus is one of the centrepieces of the original 7 books, and important background in the subsequent sequel series. She cares so much for Septimus and is the first person to see his intelligence and value. Marcia saves him from dying of frostbite literally breathing life back into him. She quickly considers him hers to protect along with princess Jenna and Nicko. There is no practical reason to take care of him, he has no known value or skill here. In reality, he is a liability, in the beginning, he’s in a state of shock made worse by his C-PTSD and training. But she can see his innate connection to Magyk, this belief being strengthened seeing him with charms and the dragon ring. Septimus inner strength and compassion being visible to her as it only starts to come through. Giving him an offer to be her apprentice before he believes he is good enough or even a powerful wizard. His status as the 7th son of a 7th son only being the icing on the cake and not a way of manipulating his skills.

This is pretty significant for both of them, Marcia, as I said before, was very powerful and independent, Septimus has no outward signs of being special and it’s only an intuition he has high levels of power. This goes against Marcia’s tendency to believe her own specialness, like calling herself a dragon keeper, and was a member of the royal court before this. He ends up being everything she thought he could be and his gifts from birth. Their relationship is also extremely special in her being his mother in most ways. The first decade of his life he had not parents or people supporting him. Once accepted into the Heaps and Castle he spends way more time with Marcia than either of his newly discovered blood parents. He is quickly close to his brother Nicko and adopted sister Jenna but not his parents. Marcia knows more about him, seeing his power, remembering his stories about ready packs, learns his favourite foods and gives him his education. She, of course, makes mistakes but is much quicker to learn to trust him letting him fix the sicknesse not thinking it’s a childish lark like Sarah does. Sarah and Silas both complain about him not spending time with them but does almost nothing to really change that while Marcia is more curious and correct during these times, and is genuinely hurt and confused learning he lied about Marcellus pie. She is more likely to give into Septimus’s wants more than anyone else. Including allowing a Dragon to live in her yard for a long time, letting Physik and Alchemie to be practised when she hates them because he needs, and being amicable with Marcellus through disagreements and some other things that go against her general pattern of behaviour. She even once refers to him as her son during a battle by accident. They are genuinely close being major sources of character improvement and source of compassion for each other.

Jenna Heap is technically her stepchild by the TodHunter series, however, Jenna considers Sarah and Silas her parents, not ever really coming to think of her birth father Milo Banda as a “dad”. Though Marcia would likely be more of a parent then him having been involved in her entire adolescence, major moments in her life, and having been protecting her since birth. Marcia and Jenna fight each other many times and spend time living together during times when they are on the run. When things go wrong they often need each other in order to defeat whatever the problem is, including having to periodically save or find the other. Marica being a mother figure for Septimus also Marcia a part of more casual things in life. She is also the only one besides Alther and Aunt Zelda who has any knowledge of what Jenna has to be to be Queen. Aunt Zelda’s knowledge is also limited to the Dragon Boat where Marcia even gives her the Crown and is crucial to running the Castle when Jenna is still too young. They do but heads time to time both being incredibly stubborn and prideful. Marcia sees her as a child and a future queen meaning there is some dissonance in how they ought to interact. They do learn to trust and respect one another as Jenna grows older. As they become more equal in power, and when Marcia is no longer in positions of power after Septimus becomes The ExtraOrdinary.

Marcia is fantastically perseverant, one of her most impressive attributes. She survives the dual murder of her father figure and the respected queen. Loses her friends and her way of life crashes around her. She is able to protect and hide Jenna for a decade and try and sustain goodness during the occupation. Torture in The Pit, a soul-sucking Darkenesse, is followed by a Thing a shadow creature who causes depression and fear playing on her natural fears. She goes through many times of having to fight tooth and nail to protect her home, title, and loved ones almost losing all of them multiple times.

Marcia really falls under the “just because you're paranoid doesn’t mean they’re not after you.’ her distrusting nature, control, pride and brash movements are often necessary when her home is truly constantly under siege from within and out. Other displays of strength can be seen in always fighting back even after events that could be seen as a defeat like when the Darke overtakes the Castle. Marcia and Septimus also show a very strong ability to use Darke Magyk without being consumed by it, something that shows a deeply strong state of soul and morality. Marcia also takes on roles of understanding and protecting the portal network continuing to act as protector of what she loves even after giving the ExtraOrdinary title to Septimus.

Marcia is a deeply interesting character in her unique fashion of purple python shoes and striking cloak, mind-blowing self-confidence and a hidden layer of being a softy. She has flaws in her hubris and control. But even stronger skills in her talent, education and determination. A female lead written likes this is extremely rare. A female character who is allowed to be hard and soft, have amazing triumphs but make real mistakes, whose femininity is never derided nor masculine traits praised as such. Marcia doesn’t even have a romantic subplot as a part of her arch for 7 stories not being something she never even considers over her “career”. That is also something important, she does end up not having a traditional family as a goal and is not criticized for it, is seen as a perfectly understandable choice just because and as part of Marcia genuinely not having time for that. However, she is actually given a found family storyline before romance as well, her relationships with Alther, Septimus, Jenna, Beetle and the other Heaps being powerful and important. She doesn't need romance or biological children to open up and have a family. Her family comes in the form of a bunch of kids she protects and cares for. Along with her ghost mentor and all the people who help protect her home.

I truly love Marcia. For being an interesting character in and of herself, but also for being a departure from many stereotypes and a character who feels very real. An undeniable icon in everything she does. Marcia is a flawed, skilled, gifted, loyal, compassionate hardworking, ever developing, and quite an aspirational character. She should really be on lists for best-found family, best powerful females and best magic women in any listicle.

ND Headcanon:

Anxiety:

Catastrophizing

Exists often at a 7 level stress easily reaching a 10

Experience of being constantly on edge

Irritability

Masking stress

Obsessive actions

Often read as even colder than she intends to worsen by her trying to manage her stress

Panic/Anxiety Attack. Seen after learning Septimus hid Marcellus from her.

Perfectionism

Rumination

Stress over any loss of control (real and perceived)

Trust issues

Requested by: gamerkitty6274 on AO3

[Also posted on AO3 under cronaisawriter]

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theonceoverthinker · 5 years

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OUAT 4X08 - Smash the Mirror

Am I reviewing two episodes at once, or is this just a MIRROR-age?!:?! XD

...Told you I was funny.

Okay, I’ve said it before, but the best thing about this rewatch are the little surprises you find along the way while watching. This is one of them and I had a LOT to say about just how good it really was. So, if you want to join me under the cut, maybe we’ll have some fun!

Main Takeaways

Past

I love how this episode holds to the spirit of “Frozen” in that Anna and Elsa’s love is more powerful than Ingrid’s manipulation. I think it was a great writing decision that allowed for the actual story of the episode to go in a much cooler (pardon the pun) story with a much more tragic twist to take place as a result. Additionally, the reveal scene of this story twist is such a fantastic moment! It’s beautifully orchestrated for the intense mood the scene starts out with. And the acting as Elsa plays the guards is just so real and hysterical in hindsight! Even still, once the ruse was revealed, I was grinning like a fool.

Really, Anna and Elsa are the heart of this segment (Favorite Dynamic was next to IMPOSSIBLE for this two-parter). Literally EVERY scene that they share bathes us is their love for one another. In every scene of this flashback, these two were either holding each other close, goofing off, throwing bits of wit at each other, or some combination of the three. We see their post-”Frozen” sisterhood and because “Frozen” ended just as they reconciled, that’s something we didn’t get to see a lot of at the time of this episode’s airing. But here, their dynamic is celebrated and given a giant fireworks display!

And I LOVE how this extends to the tragic ending of the story. Elsa, faced with so much anger and resentment from Anna and Ingrid egging her on, fucking REFUSES to betray her sister. Even as this is an ultimate loss, it is still a triumph! And that’s because Ingrid basically had to cheat to win. It took what basically amounted to Deus Ex Machina’s next door neighbor to split these two up and that’s just too beautiful!

Present

There’s a real solid heart to this episode that for me, was somewhat lacking in the past few episode, either due to a lack of focus or just a lack of understanding of what was needed to do with their characters for the stories they wanted to tell.

Now, I’m going to talk about what I found to be the two biggest aspects of this segment, but first, I want to take some time to address some of the smaller bits.

First off, a relatively minor moment, but something that was important to me was Snow’s call in Part 1. I really appreciate that not only was Snow the one to answer the phone, but she wasted NO time apologizing to Emma for her behavior in the last episode. That was so necessary and upon seeing this episode again, it really restored a lot of my love for Snow. And the way Snow insists that this apology matters when Emma says it doesn’t was incredibly heartwarming! AND the way that this attitude prevails throughout the episode is even better!

Second, also from Part 1 is the conversation Snow and David have in their bedroom about whether or not Emma should give up her magic. It’s a scene like this that makes me happy that this episode was done in two parts. It’s allowed to be a slow, semi-detailed, character filled conversation. David and Snow can be fleshed out in regards to their thought processes. Snow is so full of regret and really wants to learn from the mistake she made in the last episode. For her, taking the opposite approach to Emma’s magic is that (And rightly). And David cares about Emma’s autonomy, showing support for her choice. Both approaches are done out of love, well meaning, and supportive, and while Emma doesn’t give up her magic, the validity and love from her parents on display in this scene. And I also love how Elsa becomes a third party in this scene. Elsa knows as someone who has powers that they can be something that makes someone special and more importantly can be controlled. She doesn’t want Emma to give up her magic because she knows that this is just as much an act of self-loathing as much as it is a means of protection for those she loves. And that determines her to, upon hearing the conclusion Snow and David reach, take fate into her own hands.

Third, ALSO from Part 1 (And sort of Part 2), while I hated “The Apprentice,” I LOVE the resolution to it. Killian’s voicemail apologizing to Emma is something that’s so amazing to me. Killian holds nothing back as he exposes how he knows what Rumple’s capable of thanks to that hat. His remorse and regret is so strong and sincere and it shows how despite Rumple’s claims, he really does want to be and is becoming a better man. And as further evidence, Killian tries to actually morally persuade Rumple not to hurt Emma. He’s not just spewing threats at him, but is actually starting to use his heart to convince even his greatest enemy not to hurt someone. As for the rest of this scene, I’ll see you shortly to talk about that. ;)

Fourth, now onto Part 2, I want to do something different and combine two scenes: Regina and Henry’s talk upstairs and Regina’s subsequent takedown of Snow and David. I find that these two scenes are deeply connected and while talking about them apart would be great, talking about them together might be better! Regina’s words about denying Henry his specialness is made so much better because of the Regal Believer scene it soon follows. You see how Regina has come to not only respect that specialness of Henry’s, but to adore it and regret shunning it before. This is some fantastic evidence of all of Regina’s growth and fills in an important piece of the Regal Believer puzzle. You see her criticize that past action and Lana sells that calm regret that Regina has so well! And then Regina passes the advice along to Snow and David. This might be one of my favorite instances of Regina reflecting her teachings onto another because the specific circumstances of the situation she’s relating are a lot more domestic in their origins and yet equal in a sense between the points of comparison. I’ll illuminate my point a bit better in the next spot, but it’s important when making comparisons for common ground between two characters to be common in both substance and impact and the impact of Emma giving up her magic is painted with an urgency that brings that and Regina’s behavior towards Henry in Season 1 to a point where that commonness is felt.

Fifth, we gotta talk about Snow and Regina’s talk on the road. First, I wish Regina’s line about whether or not doing good things in order to be redeemed truly has the value of doing good been expanded on more. It was the most interesting thing to come out of Snow and Regina’s conversation and just like the conversations and scenes I gushed about above, I think it had the potential to be just as good a diving more into Regina’s redemption arc. Second, ”You know how selfish and shallow I could be as a child.” ...I hate this line. Being a pain in the ass child is not in the same legion as Regina’s crimes and in a conversation that has so much more potential for depth, I hate that this was the narrative point they decided to go for. Hell, why didn’t Snow instead vaguely allude to what went down with Maleficent? We’d have gotten better foreshadowing and an example of evil from Snow that would serve to put them more on the same level, making the conversation so much stronger. BUT that all having been said, I really like how the conversation ends. It’s not that deep, but it does touch upon the point that while change isn’t happening as fast as Regina wants it to, her choice to make good decisions rather than poor ones is how she’ll change her life for the better.

Finally, sixth, the heart stealing. You KNEW I was gonna talk about this and YES! Let’s do it!!! In many ways, the start of this scene feels very much like an ending. Killian’s celebrating Emma’s safety and looking to free himself while Rumple mourning his loss. BUT I love the sharp turn this scene takes as Rumple slowly reveals what’s next to come, namely for Killian. @lillpon did an AMAZING analysis of this scene that I can’t find, but does SUCH justice to the slow and methodical way Killian’s realization and subsequent horror plays out. Seeing Killian wiggle around terrified, panicked, and desperate is a horrifying experience to watch, but not a narratively poor one at all. It’s the real star of the Golden Hook arc of Season 4 for me and the best chunk of narrative that they get throughout the series (I’ll have some explaining to do in season 7, won’t I? Not saying it’s bad, but not as good as what we see now). There’s such menace in Rumple’s voice with every line spoken and unlike in “The Apprentice,” the promise of this scene is completely delivered on and that’s why I love it. We see the torture Rumple inflicts on Killian’s body and morals over the course of the next few episodes and it hurts because we see how Killian tried to change his ways. But it doesn’t matter. Because he’s Rumple’s puppet now.

Okay, now onto the big points about this segment, namely, our two real mains: Rumple and Emma.

Rumple is amazing in this episode. His villainy blossoms in such a spectacular way that it’s really something to behold! First off, let’s start with his introduction. I LOVE the reveal of Emma’s presence in Rumple’s shop. While it’s a slow moment and honestly probably could’ve been cut from the episode, it’s nonetheless a COOL moment. I love how all of Rumple’s baubles slowly go off one by one as we build to the reveal that not only is Emma in the shop, but that Rumple’s not at all surprised nor freaked out by it. He knows what Emma’s up to and he uses his knowledge of Ingrid’s scheme as well as the story that Emma tells him about Henry to his full advantage. Rumple presses just the right buttons as to maximize Emma’s fear and get her to agree to whatever it is that she needs to in order to protect those that she loves. His most every move is sinister, whether he’s gloating at Ingrid, manipulating Emma, or torturing Killian. Scary Rumple is honestly my favorite Rumple we get this in droves. When Rumple CAN reveal his plans or intentions, he becomes terrifying and Robert Carlyle sells every terrifying chuckle, word, and sneer and when he needs to play it cool for Emma, the shift to acting like someone not entirely unselfish but not entirely selfish either gives this story a perfect pinch of dramatic irony.

It’s sickening, but in the absolute best way. Rumple’s the Iago of this story and while not entirely bereft of nuance, the narrative makes no qualms about that fact.

There’s this great moment in the mansion where for all that Rumple’s manipulating Emma, he’s also being so honest with her about who he is. Perhaps it’s because he believes she’s gonna die soon or just because of the dynamic they’ve had so far, but Rumple is refreshingly honest and praising of Emma and how she’s different from him. And it’s a risk on his part. It’s possible his words might convince Emma to be selfish or that Ingrid’s words might still play a part in her decision over what to do or that Emma might just ask too many questions, but he’s confident she won’t and he has this self loathing that for better or worse, does need to come out to someone inconsequential. And he chooses Emma. That “thank you” that she gives him guts me, as does his response. It’s a scary scene that is also full of soul.

And Emma...just Emma. For all the talk of Emma running away, I feel like this is just as much about Emma not wanting to run and doing what she can to not have to. She keeps her family posted about what’s going on with her, regularly expresses her love to them, and makes a decision about her magic so she can go back to them. Her love for her friends and family is made so evident by Emma’s every move and Jen’s acting here is fantastic in showing that balance of love and fear, giving an extra layer of nuance to the character.

Finally, let’s talk about Emma and Elsa’s talk. The speech is so well nurtured by who these two characters are. Their understandings of fear, rejection, powerlessness, and sense of being overpowered by themselves are big parts of common ground between them, making Elsa the absolute best person to relate to Emma’s troubles. Additionally, the conversation discusses self love in this fantastic and tangible way. When it comes to themes, this is the most an episode can give me. Elsa points out the personal responsibility in loving and accepting yourself. Loving both the good and bad parts of one’s powers and destiny is a hard thing in the universe of OUAT, especially when those things can risk causing real harm. But it’s something that can be done and for yourself and all those that love you, must be done. This scene emphasizes this and Elsa and Emma’s bond raises everything to new heights.

That woosh of acceptance and control that results of this conversations is BEYOND earned. It feels like another hurdle that Emma’s overcome and her pain throughout the episode makes it such a strong accomplishment. Emma and Elsa are True Friendship and True Love!

All Encompassing

This is such a dynamic episode in terms of aesthetics, too! We see cool effects like the mirror lakes reappear, and great bits of editing and cinematography that enhance the writing by showing things like distance and loneliness through camera and even prop angles. And the cuts and usages of lighting, particularly as they pertain to Emma’s rampant magic are really exciting! They leave a constant tension and sense of danger across the span of the episode and really bring the entire experience of watching this two-parter to life.

Stream of Consciousness

-It’s always a sign of a fun time when you have a motherfucking mirror lake of editing goodness!!!! Hell yeah!

-Ingrid, when you need someone’s help and you can’t threaten them, it doesn’t do you well to insult them by calling them “past your prime.”

-”Especially those that have succumbed to the darkness…” Ingrid hasn’t really done anything like that. Killing Helga was an accident, defeating Hans’ guards was self-defense, and while imprisoning Anna was dark...I mean, have you MET the people in this universe?! XD

-”Do you think I was foolish enough to bring it with me?” RUMPLE, TAKE NOTES!!!

-”My sisters could never accept who I was because they were...ordinary.” Helga accepted you and Gerda did too until she falsely thought you murdered her sister!

-Damn, Sean rocks that tank top! <3 Like, I want him in that tank top in a remake of “Die Hard.”

-”Hey, this isn’t your fault.” Well, it’s more her fault than it is yours.

-Now I just want to know just what that spell Rumple threw out actually WAS!

-”I will never take this off again.” I teared up at this fucking line. Anna loves Elsa so much and I’m LIVING for it!

-”You may want to finish buttoning your shirt first.” This moment had me laughing HARD!

-THE MIRROR LAKE SHOWS UPPPPPP!

-Speaking of mirrors, I ADORE the shot of Elsa and Anna looking into the shattered sight mirror for the first time. They’re in the same shot, but because of the way the mirror is shattered, there’s this sense of distance created and it’s reflected in the main shot of the two sisters too. The editing team did a GREAT job here!

-”Unless...you simply like watching me.” Did Ingrid just make a pass at Rumple?! XD

-I love how Anna and Elsa, while being sneaky, are just having the BEST time on this mission and Elsa can’t even fully hide her amusement at Anna’s quip.

-Opening hours until 10? “Very generous” indeed!

-I really love the Regal Believer scene we see! Regina’s speech to Henry about his usefulness and contributions is really heartwarming and connects with Henry in a loving and intelligent way!

-Going back to my point about Ingrid and Rumple, the Netflix still for Part 2 is Ingrid and Rumple getting all up in each other’s business!!! XD I feel like other people need to start shipping this!! Golden Frost?

-Ingrid’s “surprise” was so adorable!!!

-When we see Rumple walk to meet Emma in the mansion, it looks like he’s in a freakin’ church! XD

-I’m HC’ing that Rumple turned on all of those lights as to spook Emma even further.

-I know it’s more of a matter of convenience, but why didn’t Rumple just go for the fairies’ first? Like, he says basically that Emma’s not his first choice to die for the hat, and he HATES the fairies, so why not?

-Elsa offering Anna all the chocolate she can eat is the most beautiful thing in the world!

-”Eventually, everyone sees me as a monster.” YOU LITERALLY JUST FORCED ANNA TO TRAP HER SISTER AND KRISTOFF SAID HE WOULDN’T HURT YOU IF YOU LET HER GO! FUCK THAT NOISE!

-I like that Ingrid apparently spent hours playing what basically amounts to Patty Cake with the magical barrier, all the while probably never sitting while standing in heels! XD

Favorite Dynamic

Swan Believer. While there were SO MANY good dynamics in this episode and Emma and Elsa’s dynamic especially is a really great moment of understanding for Emma’s character and a great heart to the episode, I feel like that moment is only as great as it is because of how well it was set up by Emma and Henry’s opening scene. I love that they chose Henry as the person to find Emma and be injured under her powers. It’s not only an organic and really heartbreaking scene as Emma freaks out about how she hurt Henry, but it really does make Emma’s mood throughout the rest of the two-parter make so much sense. It’s a hard scene to watch, but I mean that in the best way possible. Emma is doing everything she can to explain how she can’t be with Henry at the moment and Henry, the believer, of course, will not bend down so easily. The scene, like Emma’s rampant magic, is pulsing with love and danger. And the moment where Henry finds blood on himself is so crushing because it erases any hope that even Emma’s biggest source of support can turn her around right now. And this moment between them creates a tragic and urgent tone that follows the present segment of the episode throughout its run. Emma’s desperation and panic all comes from that moment between the two of them. I only wish that their reunion was a liiiiiiiiittle stronger, but I do find it forgivable. Given how happy Emma and Henry are and their hug, it works well enough.

Writer

David Goodman and Jerome Schwartz are a fucking dream team here! The name of the game in this episode is strength. These two took advantage of every second they had in this double episode to give each of their dynamics the strength they needed to support the story. The stories in both the past and present are actually so simple in their broad strokes -- Emma tries to give up her magic and Anna and Elsa work together to stop Ingrid -- but the simplicity of the narrative allows for much deeper conversations to take place. And they’re all given the time to reach that organic conclusion and as a result, I love each and every one of them.

Rating

DOUBLE GOLDEN APPLE!!! WHAT AN AMAZING EPISODE! I’m not gonna lie. I GROANED at the thought of covering this double episode because of its length, but this episode kept my attention and love practically the ENTIRE time! We get two fantastic stories that really involved their present casts, superb conversations across the span of the episode. I was floored by just how much I ended up liking this one, but it really touched me in just the right way!

Flip My Ship - The Home of All Things “Shippy Goodness”

Captain Swan - I love the two second shot of Killian when David says that they need to pour the locator spell over something of Emma’s! XD Yup that’s accurate! Golden Hook - Rumple chains Killian up and literally takes his heart. Jenna’s very happy now and that’s really all I need to say about that! XD

Golden Frost (Ingrid/Rumple) - When I woke up today, I didn’t expect to end my day shipping Rumple and Ingrid, but it fucking happened and I love it! Seriously, Ingrid and Rumple all but dry hump in this episode. They constantly get all up in each other’s businesses and the threats don’t take me out of that as much as you’d think!!! XD

Outlaw Queen - I love the bit of banter Robin and Regina have at the library where Regina points out that Robin stole Henry’s book from her and Robin says “you knew I was a thief when you met me.” I know it’s such a small thing to point out, but I LOVE that bit of wit exchanged! It’s cute, flirty, and fast!

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The best part of doing these reviews is finding episodes like these. They’re episodes that I don’t remember that well apart from a few scene and expect to not find all that much apart from said scenes, but end up doing so much for me emotionally. This, while an exhausting review to write for its meatiness, was so worth every exhausting second of it.

Thank you SO much for reading this if you did! This review was a pleasure to write! And thank you to the fine folks at @watchingfairytales and @daensarah for being the coolest human in existence! (And hey, if you want to be on the tag list for these reviews, hit me up!) Anyway, I can’t wait to see you all during “Fall.” TTFN!

Season 4 Total (69/230) Tee-hee! XD

Writer Scores: Adam and Eddy: (16/60) Jane Espenson: (10/40) David Goodman and Jerome Schwartz: (30/50) Andrew Chambliss: (14/50) Dana Horgan: (6/30) Kalinda Vazquez: (14/40) Scott Nimerfro: (6/30)

*Links to the rest of my rewatch will no longer be provided. They take posts with links outside of searches and I spend way too much time on these reviews to not give them that kind of exposure. Sorry for the inconvenience, but they still can be found on my page under Operation Rewatch.

#ouat #once upon a time #watching fairytales #ouat 4x08 #ouat rewatch #jenna watches ouat

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ecoamerica · 1 month

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youtube

Watch the 2024 American Climate Leadership Awards for High School Students now: https://youtu.be/5C-bb9PoRLc

The recording is now available on ecoAmerica's YouTube channel for viewers to be inspired by student climate leaders! Join Aishah-Nyeta Brown & Jerome Foster II and be inspired by student climate leaders as we recognize the High School Student finalists. Watch now to find out which student received the $25,000 grand prize and top recognition!

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demyrie · 6 years

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I've seen you talk a lot about love language, and it's something I'm slowly but steadily learning. I have a question about it! What can you do if you know someone who has a very incompatible love language with you, or who reacts poorly to your love language? Multiple times now I've had friends who would get almost hostile towards my ways of showing care, and its so upsetting to me that i sometimes stop being friends with them. It then makes it hard for me to show my love to other people (1/2)

Oh what a wonderful question. I adorelove languages as a concept, because they’re as diverse as the peoplewho “speak” them. Which might be why ... this definitely turned into an essay.

First off, sweet thing!! I’m sorry tohear that you’re getting that kind of reaction from your displays ofaffection! It can be really, really discouraging to be brave and openup to somebody, or offer affection, and get backlash or a negativeresponse … it does teach us that maybe there’s something wrong with what we’re doing, but you have to remember what dialect of love languagepeople are coming from and what your affection might “look” liketo them out of context.

Speaking Across Love Languages: It’sKind of Like the Dog and the Potato!

In case you haven’t seen this wonderfulthing that originated on tumblr, it’s a therapy dog who brings her crying person a potato, andit’s crushed hearts around the internet because of this generalhilarious sentiment: I don’t need it, but thanks it means the world inthis awful, awful moment.

And it’s funny, because animals offertheir love or care language and while it often doesn’t translate(thank you cat but I did not want this dead worm? Ok?), we are ableto gush and cry and appreciate the pure and whole effort itself,in and out of context, because “they don’t know any better”or “they’re just doing them dude” but we don’t offer the sameunderstanding to the people in our lives.

People learn affection in differentways and it differs greatly based on not only culture, but all theabundances and lackings you’ve experienced in life. We are programmedfrom an early age to value what we value, when oxytocin is runninghot through our developing little brains and wiring it with themental-emotional-chemical definition of LOVE that will follow usthrough our days, for better or worse. It can make both giving and accepting affectioncomplicated.

What Matters to You?

Make no mistake, many walk on this Earth without a clue what their love language is. To some that come from physicallyaffectionate households, cuddling and physical closeness is theheight of comfort. I love a good hug and I cuddle like a champ. Topeople who come from homes where they were rarely touched, however,being given a Classic American Comfort Hug might invoke anxiety …or they might crave it more than anything because they never had itwhile young.

To others, maybe their parents madethem food when they were sad and so cooking and the effort of itmakes them feel loved and cherished (see: my dude). To some, likemy dad, valuing someone’s time is the greatest sign of respect, andif you showed up late for something you may as well have spit in hisface. Conversely, the most important thing to these folks is justDOING things together. Doesn’t matter what, just time, and time spenttogether, is what matters, which perplexes Personalized Affectionpeople like me, who are left wondering why the fuck dad asked me tocome to home depot with him with no explanation because he’s takingtime away from the gift picture I was drawing for him???? which by the wayhe won’t show “proper” appreciation for, because really he justwanted to lurk around home depot with me.

(My dad is weird.)

Love Language and Miscommunications

So, something bad happens, we wantcomfort, and the people around us don’t respond the way we want themto. They don’t hug us, or say what we want them to say, and we takeit super personally and feel jilted or abandoned. We think, whyaren’t they comforting me, why are they purposefully ignoring ordenying me, without considering that people learn and enact comfortin different ways and under no circumstances can they read your mindand desires.

(I’m gonna share an epithet from Rae andmy struggles, as I’m sure she won’t mind.)

There was a time in Undergrad when @rainbowstarbirdrealized, in the process of discovering that we were indeed quitefucking depressed and mentally ill, that we were living in completelydifferent worlds. Our repressed personal problems fit together like avery awful tessellation of trauma that dug deeper and deeper withevery year: I feared being smothered and controlled and she fearedbeing abandoned, so every time I pulled away in fear, she ran forwardin fear, with both of us having no idea why we were getting so angryat each other, or why we felt like we were constantly in danger despite beinghonors students and on scholarship and good life and affordable housing and etc etc.

My comforting love language has alwaysbeen providing things for people and taking care of their physicalbodies. We were still struggling to be friends through all this and Ialso leaned heavily on my role as caretaker in order to divertattention from my own pain, so if Rae was upset, I would make herfood or tea or just ask if she was hungry. Rae, on the other hand,dissociates severely when triggered and the only thing that cananchor her is physical touch, and her top priority is having a lovedone sit and spend time with her to prove she’s not alone and hated.

Worst Case Scenario: Lost inTranslation

I come in and Rae is a lump on thecouch. The air is thick with some kind of tension, which Iimmediately interpret as personal resentment and I get triggered as shit bythe ongoing mental tape of everything you do isn’t enough, but I recognizethat she isn’t feeling good. I ask her if she’s hungry. She says no,and doesn’t say anything further because she’s afraid of being needyand giving me the chance to deny her and confirm her fears that yes i hate her okay bye. I, at a loss, say I’m gonnamake her tea, because I want to take care of her in some way.

So I head into the kitchen and leaveher alone and suffering on the couch, saying, in her language, that Idon’t care about her one goddamn bit. I come back with a mug ofuseless caffeine that she didn’t need, which she doesn’t drink, whichupsets me because she’s refusing my love language, which makes mefuck right off to my bedroom to fume because well I tried,leaving her alone again. Everyone suffers. And I mean everyone.

(so much suffering)

What the Hell Happened?

She prioritized time, which I wasn’tgiving her, because I didn’t just want to sit on the couch next toher and be awkward and useless, I wanted to help her (ie: do something for her).I prioritized actions and gestures, which she saw as incidentalthings, human shrapnel, and rejected because she had no use for themwhile so deep in her own belief that she wasn’t loved because Iwouldn’t even sit next to her and keep her company while she was obviously in pain.

See how fuckedthat is? We were not only failing to speak one another’s languages, but our actual languages ended up triggering each other. Bad. Bad!!!!

Now, the first thing I do is ask if shewants a hug! I tell her I will sit with her for as long as she needs,whether we’re playing video games or whatever, and reaffirm that Ilove her and value her. Now, when I’m in a State, she’ll ask if I’veeaten, because she knows the first thing I do when I start dipping isskipping meals to punish myself. She brings me tea and badgers meabout food, and of course cuddles me to kingdom come, and mostimportantly she smartly, altruistically, and respectfully asks mewhat would make me feel loved in that moment, and goddamn if that doesn’t make me feel loved in and of itself.

Becoming Fluent in Another’s LoveLanguage

The key is realizing your companions’love language and understanding how it fits into your own, if itdoes. If your partner’s language differs from yours, you can eitherappeal to them using their love language or try to recognize how whatthey’re doing for you expresses their values and try to be cognizantof those actions. In my mind, taking the effort to learn yourpartner’s love language is the height of devotion and appreciationand wooing.

It is such a powerful thing to say“this makes me feel loved!” or “This is really important to me,which is why I thought you might like it!” It feels … selfish,almost, or egotistical, but with affection you are offering ofyourself. There’s room for you to be involved!

And there is no “wrong” way to loveor show affection! The only way things go wrong is if your unmetexpectations are hurting you, in which case you might need toreevaluate either where those expectations came from or the personyou’re with and the way they treat you (EX: wanting someone to checkin with you 20 times a day with “i love you you amazing creature”texts is on a different level of expectations from I would like mypartner to listen to me when I talk and she doesn’t, am I beingoutrageous?) or if the person you’re wooing is upset by the wayyou’re showing affection. For instance, some people don’t like hugs,and it takes two to hug, and sometimes it just bes like that. Find what makes them feel loved (which is also something you are comfortable and happy doing)!

It may take a little bit ofnegotiation, and it’s difficult at first whenever enacting somebody��slove language doesn’t “do” it for you, and of course youshouldn’t force yourself to do something that feels gross to you toplease another person (nononononononono), but we are very plastic, trainable creatures.I get what I call feedback happiness whenever I do something I knowmeans the world to Rae, even if it doesn’t push my buttons, and shetakes pride in knowing that I like tea when I’m sad, etc, and that inthose moments my love language takes priority because I’m in need, and that I’m worth it.

Effort is love, sometimes. Most times, really, but the high is worthit :)

All This to Say: Get Talking!

It definitely sounds like there’s somebarriers or misunderstandings between you and those you’d like to befriends with … I remember back in the day, glomping was the heightof affection theatre and I fucking hated it (v sensitive about my neck and also fast motions and loud noises), but didn’t know how toask my friends to stop because I thought it was that or They Hate Me. I don’t believe there’s anyone you “justcan’t be friends with”, but you do have to sit back at a certainpoint and ask yourself if any relationship is fulfilling you enoughto continue it. If you aren’t finding pleasure and excitement in thebond or there’s no good compromise/effort between you to work on it,it may not be a priority to pursue.

So, I’d ask my friends – hey, youknow last time I did X, I wasn’t trying to scare you or make youuncomfortable. I guess I wanted to become closer, and that’s whatcloser means to me. Is there a way I can show you affection thatdoesn’t throw you off? What do you like to do? What makes you feelspecial? (Because I would like to make you feel special.) Encouragethem to talk about what they like and let them understand that you’re willing to go out of your way to communicate your love in a way they’ll Feel and Hear, and there’s pretty much no better feeling in the world than knowing someone likes you like that.

I’m sorry this turned into an essaybut!!! Important!!! I wish you the best of luck my love, know thatthere’s nothing wrong with you or how you relate, but that relatingtakes two, and takes time! Seek to understand what might be stopping them from seeing your affection for what it is, and come up with a compromise or shared language you CAN utilize.

I hope this increases your happiness and worth and makes you feel great because thats what friendships should do! Murr!

#trauma #love language #relating #mental health #depression #important #demyrie talks #figuring out a shared love language #Anonymous

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unexpectedreylo · 6 years

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Bendemption Song Part 2: The Villain’s Redemption Arc/The Anti-Hero’s Journey

First, we have to ask: what kind of redemption arc is Ben getting? Mythcreants.com lists three kinds: sacrifice, temptation, and forgiveness.

A sacrifice arc is one where the redeemed villain does something good and ultimately sacrifices his/her life because of the gravity of the villain’s crimes. Darth Vader is given as an example: Vader kills Darth Sidious to save Luke, but in the process is mortally wounded. I would sort of put Gollum in this category and maybe Severus Snape too. In Ben’s case, a sacrifice arc is possible. I know those of us in Reylo-land don’t want to think about it, but I wouldn’t say it’s totally off the table. But to make you all feel better, I think there are problems with a sacrifice arc in this situation. Of all of the potential redemption arcs to use, this one is the easiest because it just repeats what was done in ROTJ. And “easy” usually carries the least amount of payoff. Two, it’s debatable whether Kylo’s crimes are so great, he cannot be allowed to survive. Fans who want revenge for Han’s death might have one view, Reylos might have another. It’s apparent though that Kylo’s rap sheet isn’t as long as his grandfather’s and Kylo is already showing far more remorse, regret, and conflict than Vader ever did. It’s also clear that Kylo was victimized as a youngster in a way Darth Vader/Anakin Skywalker never was. Palpatine was a manipulator but he used flattery and kindness to snare Anakin while what Snoke did went back to when Ben was a fetus and it’s clear it wasn’t all “nice.” Three, it would collide with some narrative brick walls I will discuss in the third part of my Bendemption Song series.

The temptation arc and the forgiveness arc could end with the death of the character, but unlike the sacrifice arc, these two arcs also allow for the possibility of the character’s survival. Kylo’s arc could follow either one.

The temptation arc is where the character feels pulled to the good side as well as the bad and is in a battle to decide where he falls. Zuko from “Avatar: The Last Airbender” and Spike from “Buffy The Vampire Slayer” are given as examples. Kylo’s line in TFA, “I feel it again, the pull to the light,” signals his own struggle. He’s always being described as “conflicted.” I think this arc is a really good fit for him for this reason. If this is the route they go in IX, ultimately he will choose “the light,” or at least reject the dominance of the dark side over his entire personality. He will learn to integrate his shadow self, to use a Jungian term, and recognize the light side aspects of his personality are a strength, not a weakness.

The forgiveness arc is where the character has already forsworn villainy but has blood on his hands. Furiosa from “Mad Max: Fury Road” is given as an example. I would add Bucky Barnes and Loki from the Marvel Cinematic Universe as further examples. Most of what they are doing is trying to make up for past crimes, earning the trust and forgiveness of others, and reaching the point where they can forgive themselves. Had Kylo turned in TLJ, this would’ve been his arc for sure in IX. It’s still possible, but it would depend on how soon he turns. If it’s early in the movie, then a forgiveness arc might happen. If it’s in the second or third act in the film, then it’s too late for a forgiveness arc to occur and it will likely be a temptation or sacrifice arc instead.

When the writer has chosen the arc for the villain, there are certain things the writer must do to establish redemption.

The anti-hero is at first presented as purely villainous.

TFA largely shows Kylo Ren The Villain Who Does Bad Stuff. He kicks off the movie by killing Lor San Tekka, taking Poe prisoner and torturing him, and ordering his troops to burn down a village. He kidnaps Rey and attempts to enter her mind. He is shown later on as conflicted but he works up the nerve to kill off Dear Old Dad, then he fights Finn and Rey.

The anti-hero is humanized, often through a tragic backstory or showing they have good intentions.

Basically, everything that happens in TLJ. Kylo discards his mask and humanizes himself to Rey and by extension to us. The books reveal Snoke had been messing with Ben since he was in the womb. We learn of the tragic murder Luke almost commits, which turned Ben Solo into Kylo Ren.

Start Dropping Hints

This has already happened in TFA and TLJ. Hints include Kylo’s perpetual conflict, his less-than-enthusiastic reaction to committing Han-icide, his refusal to kill his mother, his lack of enthusiasm for blowing up planets, his bouts of gentleness/empathy/compassion for Rey, etc.. If you want an early sign in IX that Bendemption is going to happen, keep an eye out in the first act for the “Supreme Leader” to do something uncharacteristic for an evil despot. He might refuse to commit an atrocity against innocents, he might save a group of children (to counterpoint Anakin’s Great Youngling Massacre), or he might start to question the whole enterprise of the war. Perhaps he always makes sure Rey and her friends escape the First Order. Maybe he’ll be a “Fulcrum!” You never know.

Introduce A Good Influence

Obviously, that’s Rey. She can’t pick him up and drag him from the Dark Side, as she learned the hard way in TLJ, but she shows him just as she doesn’t have to live in anger, hurt, resentment, and fear, neither does he. She offers him forgiveness and the possibility of life beyond and better than what he has. If there’s any incentive at all for Kylo to change, it’s her.

You might have noticed these movies seem to be big on “girl power.” It’s as though the power of the feminine—all but destroyed by the end of the prequels, corrupted in the “Solo” era, and missing but for a few key figures in the original trilogy—is making a roaring comeback in the sequels. You might also have noticed that Kylo has a big problem with male authority figures (Han, Snoke, Luke) and male rivals (Hux, to some degree Finn). Yet who is the one relative to escape his wrath? His mother. Who does he finally open himself up to? Rey. This tells me Kylo is receptive to the power of the feminine and it’s likely his maternal ties and his deep connection with a woman will play an important part in his redemption.

I believe the original plan for IX was for Kylo to atone with his mother and this part of the story is so fundamental, there was no way to get around it ergo they are going to use footage of Carrie Fisher shot for TFA and TLJ. How they’ll use it is still a mystery. We’ll just have to see.

Less obvious is another good influence, and that’s Han Solo. Not only is Han genetically encoded in Kylo anyway, Han’s actions at the end of their encounter left an indelible mark on him in both a negative and a positive way. I think we’ll see the true beginning of his turn was at that moment; in fact it’s obvious from watching TFA Kylo almost left with his father.

Subtle Shift In Loyalty/The anti-hero goes through a phase of internal conflict, or their inner conflict is revealed/amplified. This is when he is waffling between good and evil./This internal conflict drives him toward Team Good.

While Kylo shows no inclination yet to join the Resistance, his loyalty in TLJ shifts from Snoke to Rey. It’s as close to Team Good as he has gotten in this trilogy so far. Of course, the shift wavers and he retreats to lead Team Evil. But his connection to and feelings for Rey remain, as demonstrated in his last scene in TLJ. This gives us hope for IX.

The anti-hero isn’t ready to be redeemed and he falls back toward Team Evil. This is often due to their own desires or temptations of another character. This usually involves a betrayal. The betrayal leads to them achieving a goal they had become evil in the first place to obtain.

Kylo doesn’t betray anyone besides Snoke but he decides he’d rather be Supreme Leader than be the Resistance’s new lightsaber-swinging hero, which breaks poor Rey’s heart.

Villain Becomes Unhappy With Team Evil/The anti-hero realizes he made a mistake. The goal isn’t what he wanted after all or it backfires on him.

Kylo’s going to find that heavy is the head that wears the crown, isolated and having to watch his back at all times. I don’t see Kylo as an ideologue as I see him as using the First Order to get back at his family and their value system and latching onto Snoke because he feels like he doesn’t belong anywhere else. In IX, that family will be mostly gone and Snoke’s dead. The only things holding Kylo to the First Order would likely be his desire for power and control, despair, guilt, and fear of being on his own. But even those may not be enough. Kylo could question further the First Order’s goals and methods. In addition, I predict Hux will stage a coup against Kylo by turning the First Order’s leaders and money guys, and possibly even the Knights of Ren, against him.

This realization leads him to repent and seek to fight for Team Good.

I think he will likely approach Rey first and once she indicates she is willing to forgive him, he will come to fight alongside her.

The Villain Must Stop A Great Evil And Make A Great Sacrifice

While a new, hitherto unknown threat could be the great evil in IX, I doubt they will introduce one this late in the game. Likely the great evil will be the First Order or something connected to it.

Dave Filoni said during The Clone Wars panel at SDCC 2018 the true conflict in Star Wars was between selfishness and selflessness. In order to be redeemed, Kylo MUST do something selfless. It will likely be something very risky to life and limb to correct his error and stop the First Order. The greater the error, the greater the potential sacrifice will be. I will stress that a willingness to sacrifice your life isn’t an automatic death sentence in film and literature.

It will show tremendous growth if he is also willing to sacrifice the possibility of a life with Rey. As Yoda said in ROTS, you must let go of everything you fear to lose. Think back to how possessive Anakin was with Padmé in ROTS (“you will not take her from me”) versus how Han Solo was willing to let Leia choose Luke, not knowing they’re twins, if that’s what would make her happy. I could see Kylo letting Rey choose another, if anyone, if that’s what she wanted or asking Finn or Poe to take care of her if something were to happen to him.

A willingness to abdicate power, wealth, and status are great sacrifices as well. So is a willingness to completely change your value system and goals. I think Ben will do all of the above.

The Villain Must Show Remorse

In Ben’s case, this is VERY important. I think one reason why some fans are very unforgiving of him is because they don’t think he yet shows sufficient remorse. Regardless, the audience has to believe his turn is sincere by witnessing him acknowledge his misdeeds and express mourning, sorrow, and regret for committing them. The signs are there in TLJ and TFA but we need to see more. I’m talking about big ugly sobbing here. At the same time, he cannot wallow for long in despair and guilt or else he’ll be at best worthless and at worst, he can be drawn back to the Dark Side. He can’t punish himself by refusing forgiveness, kindness, or mercy. Showing remorse has to be cathartic, it cannot be a perpetual state of existence.

I predict that a significant part of IX will be about Ben integrating his shadow self, Kylo. How will he do this? He needs to release his anger, resentment, and hurt instead of clinging to them like a security blanket. He has to forgive those who have hurt him: Luke, his parents, Rey, even Snoke. Most importantly, he has to forgive himself. Once he has done these things, he can finally be in control of his emotions, letting himself feel freely but without being overtaken by them.

The villain finds direction, a problem in need of solving; humbles himself

For a character like Ben, this probably means taking on an insane, undoubtedly suicidal mission on behalf of Team Good, providing insider information on Team Evil, and of course putting his Force-skills—likely in conjunction with Rey’s—to work. He won’t do it expecting thanks; this is to prove his worth, earn trust, and of course, attempt in some way to make up for what he has done.

The villain is forgiven

Rey will happily forgive Ben if he decides to side with her. It seems she has already forgiven him for his pre-TLJ crimes and will forgive him again when the time comes. The question is whether anyone else will. Leia, if she’s alive by that time, definitely. I think Chewie will come around and when he reconciles with Ben, there won’t be a dry eye in the theater. It’ll be a big moment if/when Ben reclaims everything that had once been his or should’ve been his: a relationship with Chewie, the Falcon, Artoo and Threepio, his mother’s cause, etc..

Would Finn forgive Ben? Maybe, especially if it’s for Rey’s sake. Poe would be a hard sell. Kylo Ren had brutally tortured him and he’s not likely to just forget all about it. On top of that, he’s a True Believer. I can see him being very skeptical of Ben turning and not exactly willing to let bygones be bygones. But that’s okay. Not everyone needs to forgive Ben by the time the credits roll.

And then what?

The very end of the arc is the question of whether the redeemed villain lives or dies. I will answer that question in the next part, “Live Or Let Die.”

Check out Part One if you haven’t already!

#reylo #reylo fam #meta #kylo ren #ben solo #redemption #bendemption #episode ix

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xoruffitup · 6 years

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Escaping Delusion For Self-Understanding & Empowerment: A Ben Solo Redemption/Reylo Meto

Upon my initial read of The Last Jedi novelization, I was disappointed by the lack of storytelling from Kylo’s perspective. I really enjoyed picking the character apart by his resolutely-hidden loose ends in my TFA Novel/Close-Reading Kylo Ren Analysis, and I’d been eagerly awaiting new insight in the TLJ novel into the internal deliberations guiding his sweeping character evolution. When the throne room scene went into Snoke’s head instead of Kylo’s, I got downright frustrated. But then, when I started delving into the novel more deeply the second time, I realized that viewing Kylo through other characters’ eyes actually tells us much more about him than his own perspective would ever be able to show – The key reason being the extent of Kylo’s self-delusion, and how little he understands himself.

The TFA novel did a superb job of presenting the deep dissonance and main source of conflict within Kylo Ren: Namely, the unstable disconnect between Kylo Ren’s detached brutality, and the stifled, hidden persona of Ben Solo within him – who appears in volatile, powerful bursts of emotion beyond Kylo’s control. My TFA novel analysis concluded with the key question: “Did he ever make a free, conscious decision to abandon Ben Solo to the monstrous might of Kylo Ren? If not, how strong is the illicit inner part of him still clinging to life and light?”

TLJ provides the answer pretty clearly that he did not; but the reason and process are more complex than simply Luke’s mistake pushing him over the edge. We came – as both viewers and readers – to understand Kylo much better as an individual wracked by repressed trauma, emotional dissociation, despairing loneliness, and destructive wrath aimed indiscriminately at himself and those around him. We don’t learn this from Kylo himself, because Kylo himself either refuses or fails to recognize his wounds. Instead, we gain a rare look beneath the cold, cruel shell of Kylo Ren to the true man beneath mainly through Rey’s evolving perception of him. Kylo and Rey’s ingress to each other’s minds and their budding mutual understanding and empathy are the means by which both characters not only come to understand each other more fully, but also themselves. This self-understanding will prove the most challenging and crucial element of Kylo’s redemption; but Rey’s journey to self-understanding and acceptance in TLJ can tell us a lot about what we might expect to lie in store for him.

Both Kylo and Rey ended TLJ in a far different place than they began. Since Rey started from a much stronger position of mental health and self-belief, she ends TLJ assured of her ability to forge her own path and place in this story. She makes difficult, dangerous, unconventional decisions through and through, but she ends TLJ only more firmly centered in her morals and self-belief. Kylo also ends TLJ in a vastly different place than he began – But he is still a great distance from the kind of self-understanding and empowerment achieved by Rey.

The development of the Rey/Kylo bond in TLJ establishes and reveals how deeply their journeys and hardships mirror each other. We see them literally reaching out to each other in attempt to provide solace for the other’s bone-deep, consuming solitude. We see them both struggling to come to terms with difficult, lonely childhoods and complex resentments towards parental figures. We see each tempted by both sides of the Force, and each repeatedly toeing the line between light and dark. Their symbolic unity as opposing but equal forces is overt: “It is you.” “I’ve seen this raw strength only once before, in Ben Solo.”

My interpretation of Kylo’s character development in TLJ is closely linked to the development of Reylo because I believe the two are inherently intertwined, and the latter will help predict the former. TLJ made plain their similarities and parallels, as well as their natural draw and empathy for the other. I anticipate that their future development will continue to mirror each other, with their bond bringing further convergence in their character trajectories, while they each play a vital supporting role in the other’s eventual, respective ‘triumphs.’ For Rey, this will likely take the shape of developing and claiming her powers on her terms alone, subscribing to neither the rigidities of the Jedi nor the narrow-minded dichotomy of the Jedi/Sith. For Kylo, I’m pretty willing to bet money this will take the shape of redemption; or at least some stable middle ground where he can find a semblance of peace within himself and companionship.

To get more specific in my reading here, I believe TLJ was Rey’s movie of self-discovery with Kylo mostly in the supporting role. Episode IX, however, will be Ben’s movie with Rey then supporting him. Seeing Rey’s personal internal journey in TLJ (Self-discovery, acceptance, and then independent agency in her rejections of both Luke and Kylo’s attempts to set her future path for her) gives us insight into the internal challenges and monumental decisions awaiting Kylo – and the steps he must take before he can reach a point of understanding and peace with himself. We also see a model of how Rey can provide essential support and guidance to enable Kylo’s growth and self-liberation.

One thing that cannot be emphasized enough is that both characters must indeed liberate themselves. While I do believe that Rey and Kylo’s bond plays an integral and irreplaceable role in both of their development trajectories, another shared aspect of their journey is that the crucial, identity-forming moment of reckoning with the darkest, most difficult-to-accept parts of themselves must be experienced in isolation. The decisions they each make to emerge from these challenging, isolated moments can, and indeed are, guided in part by the other’s influence, but the experience itself of debilitating soul-searching must be experienced alone. The decision itself must be reached alone.

Hence, why the ‘Reylo is abusive’ position is untenable; Kylo has nothing but a positive effect on Rey’s TLJ development, and he never determines her choices for her. He coaxes her to confront and eventually accept the darker parts of herself, along with the aspects of her past she has lived in willful ignorance of. Thanks to her painful introspection in the dark-side cave, followed by her voicing the all-terrible truth about her parents in the throne room, her self-understanding and belief in her own agency stands so strong that she rejects Kylo’s misguided proposal – Knowing that acceptance would mean compromising her identity and values.

There is a balance here I want to make the effort to clarify: Rey and Kylo are each a positive force to the other – helping the other accept and act on parts of themselves they either didn’t fully understand or could not previously assimilate. But in the moments when their self-determination and empowerment hang in the balance – When they each face a decision that will shape their destinies, they stand alone. They each decide for themselves. Yet, it’s highly likely that the changes in their self-perception due to the other’s companionship and empathy help enable decisions they perhaps might not have been capable of before.

From my view, there is a single greatest challenge confronting both Rey and Kylo, before they can become self-determining characters acting with true agency. Rey conquered this challenge in TLJ, but Kylo’s true test still awaits in Episode IX. The challenge is to free themselves from willful, self-imposed delusions. Only until they remove the blinders of self-deception and willful ignorance can they see clearly enough to gain a true understanding of the self. Only with a true understanding of the self, can they each make free, independent, productive decisions towards shaping their futures for themselves and becoming the people they truly wish to be.

‘Self-deluded’ could be Kylo Ren’s middle name. He might not know it, but everyone around him sure does. When Luke sees Ben again on Crait after so many years:

“Even stronger than the anger were Kylo’s pain and fear. They filled him, threatening to devour him. Ben Solo had sought to abandon everything he had been, even casting aside his name. But Luke sensed that Kylo Ren was just a shell around the same broken boy he had tried so hard to reach” (Page 297).

And though I’m still a little bitter about getting in Snoke’s head rather than Kylo’s during the climactic throne room scene, I do have to admit that Snoke’s words hit the nail right on the head:

“He called himself Kylo Ren, but as with so much else about him, that was more wish fulfillment than reality. He had never escaped being Ben Solo, or learned to resist the pull of the weak and pathetic light, or had the strength to excise the sentimental streak that had destroyed his legendary grandfather. And then there was his most glaring failure of all: his inability or unwillingness to use his power to redirect the course of his own destiny” (Page 222).

I placed emphasis on the final sentence because that’s the crux of the matter right there. Kylo Ren claims to seek power through the dark side, to complete the destruction of his weak former identity and banish all light and poisonous sentiment from within himself. But this is increasingly proving to be an impossible task. Kylo Ren will never achieve the dark-side strength or invulnerability to attachment for which he longs, because Kylo Ren himself is a hollow, inert fabrication. He will never be able to “redirect the course of his own destiny” in any meaningful way, until he confronts the contradictions of Kylo Ren’s being and the truths Kylo Ren was created to hide.

This is the delusion Kylo must confront before he can ever become free in any sense at all: Ben Solo’s enduring existence and strength. He must realize that the dark side ethos of power through strength and excising of attachments is irreconcilable with who he is as a person. The light of Ben Solo will always live in him, always making surrender to the dark side impossible. Kylo Ren calls Ben Solo “weak and foolish, like his father,” while being willfully blind to the fact that Ben Solo’s emotions and needs were what created him. Ben Solo – still very much alive within Kylo – was never helpless or weak. To the contrary, Ben Solo is so strong, his emotional core released a desperate coping mechanism against unbearable pain, coupled with a violent vengeance that has underscored every single one of his actions. The truth is, Kylo Ren never destroyed Ben Solo. Ben Solo created Kylo Ren, and has controlled him ever since.

Ben Solo’s lingering need for attachment bubbles out from Kylo Ren in various forms. Unable to look within himself, he seeks identity and purpose in others. Here lies one of his many sources of conflict: Even while lashing out against those he believed wronged and hurt him, he continues searching for external guidance and affirmations of his worth. He clings to his grandfather’s legacy, seizing upon Vader as a model and even speaking with his grandfather’s deformed helmet with sentiments starkly reminiscent of, “I’ll make you proud of me.” Even while he firmly rejects his parentage and seeks to destroy Luke, he simultaneously longs to claim his uncle’s light saber for himself and the legacy it represents. Snoke – depraved abuser that he is – recognizes this need for external affirmation and exploits it. “‘My worthy apprentice, son of darkness, heir apparent to Lord Vader,’ Snoke said, knowing how Kylo had yearned for such praise” (Page 235).

Kylo craves acceptance, affirmation, and ultimately love from others, while disavowing any such needs as foolish weakness to be rejected and left behind. This only makes it harder for Kylo to recognize the depths of his own self-deception. He sees the cause of Kylo Ren’s creation in all others around him; Pursuing his vendetta against all those he holds responsible for his fall, while claiming to be inured to their importance or connections to him. Refusing to acknowledge neither these contradictions, nor the deeper emotional origins of his actions, he never confronts his true self in all its indomitable vulnerability.

To put this all in simple terms: Boy’s got a lot of issues. A character this complex – with a mask of cruelty and apathy disguising the pain and fear shaping everything he does; Who, even with misery in his eyes, affirms being a monster – will face an ultimate moment of reckoning equally complex. We learned in TLJ that this character wasn’t nearly the black-and-white villain we might have thought. His path to the light and escape from torment won’t be black-and-white either. Rey learns this the hard way: “Luke’s error had been to assume that Ben Solo’s future was predetermined – that his choice had been made. Her error had been to assume that Kylo Ren’s choice was simple – that turning on Snoke was the same as rejecting the pull of the darkness” (Page 260).

There’s a lot bound up in Kylo’s descent into darkness. There are his childhood feelings of isolation and inadequacy – stoked and exploited by Snoke. There are his adolescent feelings of abandonment and betrayal at the hands of his own family. There are his perceived memories of when his parents “talked about him like he wasn’t their son, but some kind of monster” (Page 82). It was not only Snoke’s influence that pulled him to the dark, but his own yearning to escape that propelled him there as well. Yet in his own eyes, there was an inevitability to it all. His parents saw him as a monster, his uncle Luke thought he was beyond all hope – And so a monster beyond all hope is what he became.

Rey is the one who begins to chip away at the certitude of his damnation. She is the first to give him the chance to explain what really happened the night Luke came into his room as he slept. She is the first person to truly see him in all his agonizing complexity, and she is the first to truly believe in his potential to make decisions for himself that might enable his deliverance. Even after failing to turn him, in the escape pod leaving the Supremacy Rey sees the future as “a range of possibilities, which were constantly reshaped by the outcome of events that seemed minor and decisions that seemed small” (Page 260). Unlike others who viewed Kylo’s path to the dark side as immutable (including Kylo himself), she sees his enduring multiplicity of futures. She still believes in his capacity to make powerful decisions for himself, and shape himself a higher path.

While Kylo’s ultimate moment of reckoning with his true self and shedding his delusions (his equivalent of Rey’s voicing and acceptance of the truth of her parents’ abandonment) still stands before him, he has already faced two similar moments when he was confronted with a choice of who he was and what he believed in. The first was his confrontation with Han. The second was his decision to kill Snoke. His decisions in these moments of internal conflict went in opposite directions – one a desperate plunge deeper into the dark, the other an unexpected surge towards the light and belief in his own will.

While he made both decisions on his own, Rey’s influence is the essential new factor that makes him think for himself, beyond Snoke’s indoctrination and the dark side ethos of strength only through unfeeling power. In both this scene and Han’s death, Kylo was nearly overwhelmed by feeling. He killed Han in a despairing bid to escape from the crush of conflict and torment within him, believing this unforgiveable act might finally purge him of his pain and let him become unfeeling. (He was wrong, of course.) In the throne room scene, Kylo does almost the exact opposite. He is overwhelmed by Rey’s pain: “Kylo could feel Rey’s pain and panic, a bright roar in the Force that overwhelmed all else – even the dark presence of Snoke” (Page 223), and he acts not on a desire to escape from his overpowering emotional response to her suffering, but rather embraces it as a call to action more compelling than the dark side has ever been. Rey promised in the elevator that she would help him, and he saw in his own vision that Rey would stand with him. Finally, Kylo feels an attachment warm, alive, and understanding – And it gives Ben Solo something to fight for, rather than another source of pain to escape and throw up walls against.

This is such an important moment for Kylo’s development for so many reasons. It’s indisputable evidence that Ben Solo is alive and kicking, with an independent will and positive, caring emotions Snoke never succeeded in stamping out. It demonstrates that power was never the most important thing to him – it was never what he truly sought. His strongest need is still enduringly for human connection and warmth. When he thinks he might be in reach of a bond with someone who truly understands his struggle and eases his pain, he protects it and her at all costs, even turning his back on the dark-side Master to whom he swore such loyalty.

(Sidebar: I have heard some people argue that Kylo killing Snoke was ultimately a power grab, enabled by Rey’s presence but not motivated by it. Let me take a minute here to knock that down. If Kylo’s main goal was to seize power and become the Supreme Leader himself, his actions immediately after the fight make no sense whatsoever. Rey is his equal in strength, and the only one who can challenge him anymore. If ruling domination was his goal, he would have tried to get rid of her right then and there as the only lingering threat to him… Not begged her to join him with a quivering lip and a desperate “please,” like this whole kingdom is meaningless without her by his side.)

Just as Rey realizes after the fact – The decisions confronting Kylo regarding his identity and the shaping of his own future are much more complicated than simply rejecting Snoke. In the throne room, Kylo’s anger towards Snoke was first kindled even before Snoke began torturing Rey – When Snoke revealed he created the bond between Kylo and Rey’s minds, for the purpose of using Kylo to lure Rey in. “…he looked up in surprise, his eyes locked on his master. Snoke ignored the pleading look on Kylo’s face – just as he ignored the sickly waves of pain and confusion that rolled out from him into the Force” (Page 222). Just as there was more to Kylo’s decision than a need to save Rey (“more” not meaning seeking power, but rejection of an abusive, domineering master), there is more to the aftermath as well. Rey wrongly anticipated that Kylo turning his back on Snoke would also mean turning his back on the dark side, but so long as Kylo continues laboring under delusions of Ben Solo’s weakness and irrelevance to his identity, he will continue needing the dark side and its promised escape from pain as a crutch to help him endure. He remains willfully blind to Ben Solo’s presence: “‘Ben?’ she asked. ‘That’s my old name,’ he said” (Page 244).

The hardest part of Kylo’s journey still lies before him: The introspection that will enable him to understand and accept the emotional instincts and needs that have shaped his path thus far. Then, perhaps, he can embrace the strength and light of Ben Solo as the truest means to shape his destiny for himself. TLJ left Kylo in a position where, for the first time, he does have recourse to the freedom to make decisions for himself. But all of his decisions following Rey’s refusing of him were based in blind anger, destructive vengeance, and consuming hurt. He is still hiding behind the cold, empty cruelty of Kylo Ren, running away from Ben Solo’s emotions with a wake of destruction.

In probably the most direct illustration of the tragic irony of Kylo Ren’s character, he urges Rey to “let go” of the past:

“It’s time to let the old things die. (…) You’re holding on. Let go. (…) Do you want to know the truth about your parents? Or have you always known and have you just hidden it away – hidden it from yourself? Let it go. You know the truth. Say it!” (Page 244)

He is asking her to do what he himself has so far been incapable of. He doesn’t see the contradiction - Remaining utterly blind to the truth that he is controlled by his own past, and Kylo Ren is only Ben Solo in another, crueler guise, still acting in response to a bright, burning emotional core that will never be quenched. He can never stop hating himself, or stop living in a projected shell of pain and violence, until he confronts his past trauma and accepts his enduring need for those he feels attachments to.

At some point, he must consciously accept all of Ben Solo as the most essential part of himself. He must recognize empathy and love not as weaknesses to be cut away, but as the single strongest force in the galaxy – whose thwarted, then perverted power was, after all, what created Kylo Ren. Until he accepts Ben Solo’s needs as his own and acknowledges his emotions as strength, the past will continue to control him and he will remain trapped in a helpless loop of anger, destruction, despair, and solitude.

This might sound like a tall order for someone with so much emotional trauma to overcome. And yet, I remain a firm proponent and believer in redemption. As I said earlier, I anticipate Episode IX will be “Ben’s movie,” with Rey helping him through his internal journey towards some form of resolution. His ultimate moment of reckoning within himself will be complex and immensely challenging, due to the depth of his self-deception and the immensity of the pain that initiated it. But Rey will be there to help him through – providing a warm light at the end of the tunnel to guide his way. She can provide hope and comfort to Ben’s loneliness and despair, enough to make him believe there could be something brighter for him in the world than the cold, unfeeling dark side.

Let’s not forget: In the throne room, believing in the promise of Rey by his side, Kylo achieved a moment of intense internal resolve that lent him inner strength he’s never known before. Ever since he first went to Snoke, the heart of Ben Solo living within Kylo Ren’s shroud has lived in stifled agony, crying out against the cold isolation demanded by the dark side. Part of Kylo has always hated being a monster, always yearned for warmth and light and hated himself for shrinking away from it. But only until Rey extended her hand to him, only until Rey listened to his side of the story, only until she believed in him and risked her life in pursuit of that belief – Only then did Kylo find something solid and resolute enough within himself to do what had before been unthinkable: To free himself and take his own future into his hands.

It was a short-lived moment of resolution and clarity, but one that bodes well for Kylo’s future. While Rey can help him regain faith in the world, reminding him that emotions can also be a force of comfort and wonder, all this will only be to help him recognize that he alone has the power to save himself. Or more precisely – Ben Solo holds that power.

Ben Solo – not his Force abilities, not the dark side – is the strongest part of him. Through confronting, acknowledging, and then accepting Ben Solo’s past pain and hardship as the most integral part of him, he might finally find inner peace. Ben was a loving, sensitive child, whose inability to cope with pain, fear, and abandonment birthed a persona of malignant darkness. But that loving, sensitive boy has endured. He yearns to be free again, and I’m convinced the dark side is no match for him.

#Star Wars meta #Star Wars analysis #Star Wars TLJ #The Last Jedi #Star Wars #Kylo Ren #Ben Solo #Save Ben Solo #Reylo

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andromedaceline · 6 years

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Ben Solo x Prince Zuko

**SPOILERS: AVATAR: THE LAST AIR BENDER & STAR WARS: XII & XIII**

My favorite animated series of all time is Avatar: The Last Airbender. For those who are not familiar (and you should get familiar, it’s great!). Here’s a quick synopsis:

The world is divided into four nations -- the Water Tribe, the Earth Kingdom, the Fire Nation and and the Air Nomads -- each represented by a natural element for which the nation is named. Benders have the ability to control and manipulate the element from their nation. Only the Avatar is the master of all four elements. The ruthless Fire Nation wants to conquer the world but the only bender who has enough power, the Avatar, has disappeared ... until now. Two kids from the Water Tribe, Katara and Sokka, soon discovers that Aang is the long-lost Avatar. Now they must safeguard Aang on his journey to master all four elements and save the world from the Fire Nation.

It was a kid’s show on Nickelodeon (2005-2008), but it’s amazingly written and full of many adult type themes (watered down for kids, of course). But I watched the show as an adult and was blown away by how deep it was. It’s heavily influenced by mediums like Star Wars, Asian mythologies, etc. But while watching this new Star Wars trilogy, starting with The Force Awakens, I couldn’t help but notice a ton of similarities between Ben Solo and Prince Zuko. I felt compelled to research more and write some of those similarities down.

One main reason I want to compare the two is because (IMO) Zuko is one of the best redemption story ever written. When you first see him in the first episode of Avatar, you instantly hate this guy and think the worst of him. But as the series continues, you learn about his painful childhood and psychotic father, you realize he’s just a product of his environment and doesn’t know any better, similar to Ben Solo. His redemption in the end and when he confronts his father are some of best scenes in the show. I especially love when he (awkwardly) goes to ask Aang and the gang if he can join their group to help defeat his father, Fire Lord Ozai. It’s hilarious, sweet, and pathetic all at the same time, lol.

I hope that when ep IX comes out, Ben will have a similar redemption arc, because both him and Zuko are anti-heroes cut from the same cloth.

BEN SOLO X PRINCE ZUKO

Facial Scar:

Ben: Large scar on right side of face.

Zuko: Large burn on left side of face

Royalty:

Ben: Prince - Technically royalty being Princess Leia’s son, although he was never given the title.

Zuko: Fire Nation Prince - Princess Ursa and Fire Lord Ozai’s son

Powers:

B: Very powerful Force user

Z: Very powerful Fire Bender

Alter Ego (Dons a mask appear more intimidating and conceal identity):

B: Kylo Ren

Z: The Blue Spirit

Temperament:

B x Z: Hot-tempered, impatient, resentful, bitter and in pain from past experiences. Was never taught a healthy way to deal with these emotions.

Absent Mother:

B: Leia was a busy senator and leader of the Resistance. She was not around during Ben’s formative years. This, along with Han’s absence, ultimately led to Ben's abandonment issues and his longing to "belong".

Z: Ursa disappeared from Zuko's life at a young age (To protect him).

Abusive Father Figure:

B: At a young age, Snoke, twisted, abused, and manipulated Ben emotionally (probably physically too) growing up.

Z: Ozai was a psychopath who did not love Zuko at all, and even at one point plotted to kill him when he was just a child. He challenged his 14 year old son to an Agni Kai (fire-bending duel), where he permanently scared the left side of his face. Afterwards, he banish him from the Fire Nation. (Also, fun fact: Mark Hamill voiced Fire Lord Ozai in the animated series, so there's that slight connection too.)

Lack of Connection with Father:

B: I heard Han had a hard time connecting with Ben due to his powers, hence one reason why he wasn’t around as much (not sure if true, but makes sense to me considering Han). However, Leia was much closer to Ben due to their connection to the Force.

Z: Zuko's fire bending abilities were slow to manifest, and for a while Ozai thought he was a weak and useless non-bender.

Uncle’s Care/Betrayal:

B: Sent away in the care of his Uncle Luke, who was his Jedi Master and tried to instill values and "help" him. Eventually, he betrayed his Uncle - resulting in Luke isolating himself to Ahch-To.

Z: After banishment, his Uncle Iroh came along, who was his Fire Bending Teacher, and tried to instill values and “help” him. Eventually, Zuko betrayed his Uncle at Ba Sing Se - hence why Iroh "isolated" himself and refused to speak to Zuko after he was arrested.

Rivalry:

B: Rivalry with General Hux - Both fighting for attention/good graces of Supreme Leader Snoke. Hux is a military genius, who wants only power.

Z: Rivalry with Commander Zhao - Both fighting for attention/good graces of Lord Ozai. Zhao's a military genius, who wants only power.

Almost Redeemed:

B: Had a chance to make it right (Turn to “light”), but blew it for his own selfish pursuit of power (his offer to Rey in TLJ to "join him"). Selfishly asking her to join him at the expense of innocent people (Resistance), including his own mother.

Z: Had a chance to make it right (Join Aang), but blew it for his own selfish pursuit of honor (Betrayal of Aang and Katara at Ba Sing Se). Selfishly joining Azula at the expense of innocent people, including his Uncle Iroh, who cared for him when no one else would.

Evil Lineage:

B: Idolizes Grandfather, Darth Vader - Who helped start The Galactic War (Empire vs Rebels) and the genocide of the Jedi. Severely insecure that he will never live up to the standards put on by Snoke or live up to the legend of his grandfather, Darth Vader.

Z: Idolizes Great Grandfather, Sozin - Who started The Great War (Fire Nation vs All the other nations) and the genocide of the Air Nomads. Severely insecure that he will never live up to the standards put on by Lord Ozai or live up to the legend of his great grandfather, Sozin.

Misguided Values:

B x Z: Blinded by misguided teachings that their side (Dark Side/Fire Nation) is the “right” side, all other sides are wrong, and therefore must submit or be destroyed. No compromise.

Cruel and Menacing:

B: Tortured, killed, terrorized Rebels and Allies

Z: Used terror and fear to instill control over Water/Earth Benders and Allies

Path to Redemption:

B: He has to find path of redemption on his own and "save" himself by letting go of his selfish desires/misguided beliefs. In order to truly redeem himself he must confront his past, join forces with Rey, and bring balance to the Force.

Z: Had to find path of redemption on his own and "save" himself by letting go of his selfish desires/misguided beliefs. In Book Three, he decided to give up all he ever wanted, defy his father, and join the Avatar to bring peace back to the world.

There’s probably more, but that’s all I could think of at the moment.

It's very possible that Ben’s on a path to redemption similar to Zuko. One can only hope, as Zuko is such an amazing character, and a fine example of a redemption story done right.

I hopefully Ben's story will be too.

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