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tteokggukk · 3 years

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summer heat → jjk

–pairing: twin!jungkook x reader

–genre: fluff, mature (? but no smut), drabble, a minor attempt at humor, best friend’s twin brother type of thing

–words: 2.9k

–warnings: explicit language, sexual tension, tiny bit of humiliation, a hint of jungkook and reader having some sort of “history” if u squint hard enough

–summary: in an attempt to calm you down and prevent your mood from swinging due to the blazing heat, your best friend decides to go out and buy you some ice cream. you’re shocked, however, when he quickly returns and looks different, making you see him in an entirely new light and leaving you trying to resist the urge to give in to your raging hormones and just jump on him.

–a/n: i was thinking of this scenario in the shower but didn’t have the brain power to turn it into a full length story so i might just add this to a pile of drabbles that i may or may not develop heh + ive been in my jungkook feels too lately sigh + also this is unedited

permanent taglist: @100percent-dum-dum @mochisjoon @boraength @rageyoudamnednerd

It was a scorching hot summer’s day. Sweat was beginning to trickle down your temples and your shirt was getting stuck to your skin, causing an irking feeling of discomfort. Looking around, you quickly grabbed an empty long folder from your best friend’s messy desk and began fanning yourself to cool down. The two of you were just there, sitting in his room in a not-so-comfortable silence.

You were currently plopped down onto a chair with your legs resting on the desk in front of you, too lazy to come up with ideas to kill your boredom.

It was a tradition for your family to travel every summer and visit a new country you hadn’t been to, but this year you had to pass the plane tickets and sight-seeing due to your best friend, Junghan, asking begging you to help him out with a month-long film project. You didn’t have the heart to decline, so you told your parents you’d stay behind and help him out which resulted in you having to stay over at Junghan’s place for the rest of the summer.

You had to admit though, a small part of you felt disinclined to stay because the project sounded like it would’ve been a tedious workload, but working with your best friend was so much more fun than you’d imagined and even the project itself turned out to be enjoyable. So far, your summer break has been spent filming and hanging out with Junghan—though hanging out usually meant staying in his room and watching romcoms all day while crying over fictional characters, ranting about how you two would never meet such perfect men in real life. It was great.

Until the air conditioner broke down.

You glanced over at Junghan, who seemed to be just as spiritless as you were while he sat in front of a fan, eyes looking empty and distant.

“I told you the air conditioner needed to be fixed,” You sighed and looked up at the ceiling, completely missing the harsh glare he sent you.

“I said I was gonna get it fixed,” He replies and turns back to the fan, his voice quieting down a little, “But the number for repair wouldn’t answer.”

“Right,” You muttered absent-mindedly, eyes staring at the ceiling while your mind was too busy trying to come up with suggestions to beat the heat, “We could go to the pool?”

“Closed,” Junghan grunts, “The mall?”

“As if we’d both drive in this state,” You rolled your eyes as you tried to get your shirt to stop sticking to your skin. Junghan glances over at you when he hears you grumbling, one of the many cues that you were beginning to feel peevish. Deciding that it was pointless to keep tugging on your shirt, you opt to take it off instead.

“You don’t mind do you?” You asked before completely removing your shirt, only leaving you in your bralette. Though you knew he never did because of the countless times he’s helped you change and pick out different outfits, you always asked out of politeness. Additionally, his zero interest in women made you feel much safer and comfortable enough to undress around him.

“I really don’t care,” He says and stands up. You hear him rumbling for a moment while you were neatly folding your shirt, and seconds later you recognize the jingling sound of keys.

“Where are you going?” You asked.

“The nearby grocery. You’re about to get grumpy and I am not going to listen to a rambling bitch for the rest of the day,” He says, rubbing his temples as he makes his way to the door.

“So you’re just gonna leave me here?” You asked, too exhausted to even glance at him. He probably wasn’t, you only asked for the dramatic effect.

“No, dumbass. I’m just gonna go and buy ice cream. See you in a bit.”

And with that Junghan leaves and closes the door shut. Only a few minutes later after the sound of the engine had gone did you decide to exert a little effort and move over to his previous spot to sit in front of the fan, the air immediately cooling your skin. You sighed in relief and grabbed a few tissues to wipe your temples dry before grabbing your phone and texting Junghan to buy some lemonade, followed by a second text telling him you’d pay him back once he returned.

You were surprised to hear, not even ten minutes later, that the car was already back and pulling up in the driveway. It couldn’t have been Junghan’s parents as they were out working, and it was only you and Junghan around—not like you two had many friends who would come and visit. Instead of rationalizing with yourself on how Junghan came back home in supersonic speed, you decide to drop it and wait for him to come up back to his room.

Someone knocks on the door, causing your brows to furrow in confusion. Since when did Junghan knock?

“Come... in?” You answer, though it came out more as a question. Your head turns at the sound of the door opening, and your eyes widen at seeing Junghan standing by the doorframe.

Looking oddly different.

“Dude,” You stood up from your place and stared him up and down, “Is that what you were really wearing when you went out?”

His eyebrows raise in shock and you catch his eyes taking a quick glimpse from your chest before quickly looking back at the perplexed look on your face, a small smirk forming on lips. You decide to ignore it.

“What a warm ‘welcome home’,” he chuckles.

“You didn’t answer me,” you replied, still oblivious to the difference in his tone.

He was wearing an all-black ensemble—a black cap, a black leather jacket, black pants that outlined his toned thighs (how have you never noticed?), and some chunky black boots—a huge contrast to his normally colorful and baggy clothing. You were genuinely curious because you hadn’t noticed what he looked like before he left the house as you were too tired and lazy to even look up and say goodbye.

“Uh, yeah. This is what I was wearing?” He narrows one of his eyes, looking confused, “Why?”

“I don’t know… since when did you wear all black?”

“Since way back then? I don’t know,” He replies, and you now noticed how his voice was unusually low. Junghan steps inside and averts his eyes from you, looking around in his room before scrimmaging through drawers as if in search for something.

“What are you looking for?” You asked, folding your arms and following him around.

“A charger,” He replies, and a chill runs down your spine at the sound of his voice. You thought maybe you’d detect how he was just trying to change his manner of speaking, but it was effortlessly low; like he wasn’t faking it or anything. It was weird because Junghan normally sounded a little more high pitched.

“What charger?”

“A laptop charger, mine broke,” He continues searching and not once does he meet your eyes.

“Oh okay, let me help you then,” You begin to look around and help him search, “Though I don’t know what it looks like, I’ll let you know if I see a charger.”

He looks up at you and smiles, but you don’t catch him watching you as you were already busy searching, “Thanks.”

The two of you continue searching in silence, though occasionally you’d look up and glance at Junghan. What exactly was he doing? Was this for his film? Is he supposed to be in character? This new look and manner of talking that he somehow adopted after a quick trip to the grocery store did things to you. Every time he grunted in annoyance after a failed search, something in your stomach would twist and you found yourself suddenly feeling drawn, or maybe even more than drawn, to your best friend. Your gay best friend.

You shook your head to get rid of those thoughts.

Only a few minutes later did you find something that looked like a charger hiding underneath a pile of unfolded clothes before presenting it to Junghan, “Is it this?”

“Yes! Exactly that,” He jumps up from crouching over one of the drawers at the bedside and walks over to you, “Thank you.”

“Yeah, sure. I don’t know why you took such a long time searching for something in your room, though,” You rolled your eyes.

“My room?” He smiles, voice a little deeper but with a hint of amusement.

God, you could just jump on him right now.

“Yeah?” You knit your brows, “And stop doing that!”

“Stop doing what?” He asks, sitting down on the edge of the bed so he was looking up at you. He leans back a bit a folds his arms, a smile still tugging on the corner of his mouth.

Maybe it was the summer heat doing things to your head and making you think about all these things that you never thought you’d ever want to do with your gay best friend, but he seemed so in character it was actually beginning to bother you. What store did he go to exactly? And where the hell is the ice cream?

“That! What’s up with your voice? And your outfit? You look so different, it’s weird,” You folded your arms as if to mirror him.

“Weird, huh?” He asks and looks at his clothing before looking back at you.

“Not in a bad way. It looks good, it’s just not you,” You squirmed slightly before shaking your head to snap out of it, “I don’t know what store you went to that made you look like this—and congrats I guess, if you’re trying to switch up your fashion, but you completely missed the ice cream, so good luck trying to handle this rambling bitch.”

He laughs at the words “rambling bitch” and oh god that is not what his laughter sounded like before. When did the sound of his laugh sound so deep and sultry? You subconsciously sucked on and bit your lip at the sound of his laughter, trying your best not to visibly drool in front of him. He catches your subtle action and his brow raises at the sight.

“Despite all the things you said, you think this looks good?” A playful smile rests on his face and your heart beats erratically at his expression.

“Y-yeah, I don’t know,” You mumbled. He shifts on the edge of the bed to move closer to you.

“And because there’s no ice cream, you’re going to turn into some rambling…” He reaches his hand out, the back of his fingers feeling the skin on your exposed waist before resting his hand on your back to pull you in closer.

“…person?” he continues, brows raised and eyes staring intently at yours, not using the vulgar word you had just used to describe yourself (or the word he had just called you before he left to go to the store).

“I...um, we’ll see,” you replied, and he only chuckles deeply. Your voice had transformed into a murmuring mess and it annoyed you, but you couldn’t really do anything about it, right now he reminded you so much of—

“I think you look good too, you know. Maybe I did miss you a lot more than I thought I did,” he whispers, pulling you in even more so you were now standing between his thighs.

Missed you? After an eight minute trip to the grocery store?

You didn’t question it. Your mind was blanking out, malfunctioning, even. Here was your best friend, your gay best friend (as you had to keep reminding yourself), placing his hands on your bare skin in a way that you knew wasn’t going to turn out to be so innocent. Right now you were extremely attracted and possibly even turned on by whatever the fuck he was doing, all you could do to save yourself was blame it on the heat. Was this absolutely weird? Hell yes. Did you want to stop him? Fuck no.

Were you now completely devoid of all reason and logic?

Definitely.

Softly, he tugs on your arm and pulls you into him so you were now sitting on his lap with your hand resting on his chest. One of his hands was still attached to your waist, the other was resting itself on the bed, gripping on a blanket.

Chills run down your spine for the second time now as his mouth moves closer to your ear, “Lucky for you I know the perfect way to handle rambling bitches.”

Your breath hitches for a moment and Junghan moves back to face you, his lips grazing your cheeks a little before you meet each other’s gaze. The summer heat was definitely nothing compared to this, but you didn’t mind. Your faces were only mere centimeters apart now and you could’ve sworn he was beginning to lean in by the look in his eyes, which were now fixated on your lips.

Seriously, you could just grab him by the collar right now and speed things up. He’s the one who pulled you in first, anyway, you just wanted to get things going. Though you haven’t exactly a clue as to where this would end, you wished he would hurry up a little to find out.

But for some strange reason, your senses were enveloped with the distinct smell of a signature fragrance that you knew did not belong to Junghan and it snapped you out of your thoughts. The scent was strong enough to flash some memories back in your mind, making you frown. Did he use this perfume on purpose? Or was your mind just playing tricks on you? In a flash, you could suddenly think straight and you couldn’t help it, the moral side of your brain had turned far stronger than your currently raging hormones (thank goodness). Something was definitely off.

“But, Junghan… aren’t you… gay?” You asked, your voice trailing off a little.

His eyes widen and he pulls back from you. He stares at you for a few seconds before it hits him, and he starts erupting in laughter. You narrowed your eyes at him and got off his lap, moving over to the side and sitting beside him instead.

“Junghan?” He stresses on the name. You’re staring at him blankly now, like you knew he was just messing with you. His laughter eventually dies down and he places a hand on your thigh, though it seemed much more innocent now, “I’m so sorry, ____, you’ve got the wrong person.”

With one hand, he quickly grabs the blanket off the bed. The back of his other free hand endearingly caresses your jaw, and you notice how he lingers for a while as he moves a bit lower down to your neck—before wrapping the fabric around you and covering your whole torso with it. Your face immediately turns pink as you clutched onto the blanket to further cover yourself, feeling slightly humiliated, though you were still confused.

“Wrong person? What do you mean?”

“I was wondering why you had no shirt on, I thought that was just a regular thing for you now. But it’s probably cause you’re more comfortable around my brother, huh?”

“Your brother…?”

“Has it really been that long?” He chuckles, and instantly your mind began connecting the pieces together. Could it actually be him? You haven’t seen him in years, and no one even bothered telling you he was coming back today. No way, surely this was Junghan playing a joke on you.

“I’m not Junghan. I’m his twin brother, Jungkook. Remember?”

You hastily stood up in defense, still clutching the blanket close to your chest, “Shut the fuck up, Junghan. No one said anything about Jungkook coming back today!”

Junghan Jungkook only laughs and stands up, the melodious sound filling the room, followed by the sound of footsteps approaching the wide open bedroom door.

“What a shame, but it was a surprise. I didn’t tell anyone I was coming home today,” He folds his arms, “And if I am Junghan, then who is that?” He points at the doorframe and true enough, Junghan was standing there holding grocery bags in his arms wearing his usual oversized colorful jacket and khaki colored pants.

You and Junghan both looked at each other with mouths dropped down to the floor before you looked back at Jungkook, who had the same smirk tugged on his lips, clearly amused at the whole situation.

Jungkook bends forward and leans in to your face, his voice in a lower tone but still audible enough for his brother to hear, “Probably shouldn’t take your top off so leisurely around the house anymore, huh?” He grins and winks at you, causing you wince and force an awkward smile, internally cursing yourself at everything that just happened.

“Anyways, I should probably rest up in my room. See you around,” Jungkook flashes you a smile before placing a chaste kiss on your (now dry, because your body had frozen up) forehead before walking away from you, taking the charger and dangling it in his other hand. He taps his confused looking brother on the shoulder before turning his head back to take one last look at you before walking out, leaving you and Junghan staring at each other in shock.

Junghan walks in slowly and sets the bags of grocery on the floor, shutting the door behind him.

“What the fuck just happened?” He asks you, eyes wide in anticipation.

Your mind replays everything that had happened between you two. Was Jungkook really just about to kiss you minutes before? Heart racing, you clutch on your chest from underneath the blanket he had covered you with. No way was Jungkook back. No way is he back and looking even more attractive than he did the last time you saw him. Not when you had just gotten over your small crush on him a couple of years ago.

The heat returns to your body, but it mainly pools on your cheeks. You look back at your best friend, but no words of explanation come up.

“Believe me, I’m asking myself the same thing.”

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dontaskmetodivide · 3 years

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migraine days

summary: Y/N experiences a migraine and Harry does his best to comfort her.

tw: total fluff

1,598 words !!

a/n: migraines really aren’t pretty, so this isn’t a very pretty one shot, but as someone who get them i really wanted to write something about what h would do to comfort his girl during them.

You knew the second that your vision went blurry and your face got tingly that you were having a migraine. The piercing headache that you could only describe as the feeling of going mad. You were used to them, they sucked but you were used to them. You got them every month or so, and usually when they happened you would shut off your phone, lie in bed crying and just try to focus on your breathing. But once you started dating Harry, they got slightly more manageable. Harry always knew exactly what to do and how you comfort you, which made the whole experience a little more bearable.

You called Harry over to your flat around 8 pm, you both deciding to watch a movie and eat ice cream until you fell asleep, but around 10 pm you felt the strain on your head.

You get up from the couch and go to the kitchen calmly, excusing yourself for a moment so that you can take your meds, hopefully in time to break the migraine before it gets too bad. Along with the small dissolvable tablet you take, you also chug a bunch of water, refilling the bottle twice before Harry enters the room.

“Y/N? What’re you doing?” He asks with a groggy voice, clearly tired from the late hour and all the work in the studio earlier in the day. His hands remain in the pocket of his sweatshirt.

You set the bottle down on the counter and squint your eyes, trying to see Harry’s face clearly as you speak. “I feel a migraine coming, is all.” You brush it off but he takes it more seriously, walking around the island to get closer to you.

“Oh, muppet.” His hands come up and cup your cheeks as he looks into your eyes. “Has the aura started yet?” He asks with concern laced in his voice, referring to the weird visual changes you encounter when it comes to your migraines.

You nod and close your eyes, the light beginning to cause a light pounding behind your eyes. He kisses your forehead and you grab onto the sides of his sweatshirt for balance.

“Want to head to the hospital?” He asks, and that was one thing you didn’t appreciate from Harry as much when your migraines would occur. He always wanted to take you to the hospital immediately, have you protected and cared for by trained professionals, and while it was very caring, you were stronger than that and could usually last a while before absolutely needing to go seek help. You always wanted to wait until you felt like you couldn’t anymore before going to the doctor.

“No, I’m okay H.” You tell him, shaking your head with your eyes glued shut.

“Let’s lay down, yeah?” He asks and you open your eyes, only to see spots, and agree with him as he urges you out of the kitchen. He leads you down the hall and to the bedroom, careful not to move too fast.

As you get into the bedroom he turns off the lights, only leaving on the soft glow from the bedside lamp as you crawl into bed and shuffle under the puffy comforter. The pain in your head has now grown tremendously, and the small throbbing behind your eyes has now turned to vigorous pulsating on the front hemisphere of your brain.

You don’t register that he’s left the room until you hear the door close softly, signaling that he’s returned. The bed dips next to your hip, so you open your eyes and pull the covers from your face slightly.

Harry is holding a cup of water and some aspirin, as if it would do anything to help, but you appreciate the gesture none the less. You sit up slightly and he places his hand on your hip as you grab the water and pills from him, throwing them into your mouth and chugging more water.

“Are you hot? Want me to turn up the AC?” He asks as you snuggle back under the covers.

“Yes please.” You squabble out as you squint your eyes shut and try to get comfortable. Harry has learned all the things he can possibly do to make you more comfortable when these things happen.

He knows that you like to bury yourself in blankets to try and block out the world, so the air conditioner temp needs be lowered so that you don’t overheat.

He swiftly gets up and goes into the hall, returning after a long second, and after another second you hear the blast of the vents being turned up. Harry comes around the bed and lays down beside you, placing a hand on your back over the sheets and rubbling softly.

You started having migraines at a pretty young age so you learned pretty early that going to sleep is the best way to endure the pain. Most times you can fall asleep and once you wake the migraine has turned to a small headache, but you aren’t always so lucky.

You manage to sleep for an hour and a half before you’re sitting up and hunching over the side of the bed, about ready to vomit all over the floor. Harry is already handing you the small trash bin from your bathroom, that he must’ve picked up whilst you were asleep, and holding your hair back, tying it in a loose low bun with a band from around his wrist.

You gag a couple times before you’re throwing up all the water you had previously consumed. “It’s okay, baby. Let it out.” Harry hums behind you as he traces his bitten fingernails over your back, scratching lightly. “You’re okay, I’m right here.”

After filling up the bucket way more than you’re proud of, your body begins to rest so you place it back on the ground, heaving from exhaustion. A silent cry begins to fill your chest from frustration and pain. Tears fall from your face onto your lap as your boyfriend cradles you into his chest and you grip onto his sweatshirt for dear life.

Crying always made the headaches worse, but you couldn’t help it. It just hurts so fucking bad.

You take a deep breath and attempt to get up to go to the bathroom. Harry stands up with you and you’re grateful because as soon as you take a step you feel woozy and your knees start to buckle. He grabs your waist with one hand and the back of your head with the other, helping you stand.

“Woah woah woah, love. Baby?” Harry says with a panicked tone as he helps you sit back down on the edge of the bed.

“I’m- I’m okay. Just exhausted.” You tell him, holding onto his forearms still holding your body

“I think it’s time to go to the hospital, love.” He says as he scratches your scalp, hoping to relieve the pain in any way possible, and you nod, succumbing to the inevitable destination of this deceitful journey.

He slowly releases your body and stands straight, grabbing your shoes and sliding them on your feet as you remain hunched over the side of the bed. He helps you stand and walk out of the house to the car. The car ride is silent, Harry kindly turning off the radio aware that sound worsens the effects. He keeps his hand on yours the whole ride, circling his thumb on the back of your hand.

You get to the hospital and Harry parks close to the front of the ER doors, helping you out of the car and to the waiting room. Harry pulls your head onto his lap as soon as you’re seated, and you cradle your temples in your hands, silently begging your mind to give you a break.

You aren’t sure how long it is until they call you back and get your situated in a hospital bed, Harry helping you change into the gown and turning out the lights for you to rest. He sits on the chair next to your bed, not releasing his tight grip on your hand as you close your eyes and rest your head against the propped up cushion.

The doctor comes in shortly after that, letting you know how they will treat you. She had been your doctor before and knows just how bad this pain is for you. She examines you briefly, which is more painful than helpful to you. As she shines the bright light into your eyes you see Harry visibly wince and clench his jaw, knowing just how bad it must hurt for you.

Once she’s done she sets up the IV catheter, the needle piercing your hand not even fazing you compared to the mind blistering pain in your brain.

The doctor speaks softly as she consults you and sets up the IV drip. “You know the drill. We’ll do a fluid drip since you’re more than likely dehydrated, while simultaneously doing the pain reliever, which as I’m sure you know, will make you slightly loopy.”

You let out a breathy laugh and look at Harry who just smiles and shakes his head at you, knowing what you’re thinking. “You’re responsible for anything I say or do.” You tell him, your voice sounding strained.

The doctor smiles at the two of you before putting a “FALL RISK” band on your wrist and exiting, telling you to get some rest.

Before the door is even closed Harry is hopping on the bed to lay with you, facing you and making sure to not mess up the tubes going into your hand. He rests his hand on your cheek and you close your eyes, focusing on the feeling of his hand rather than the pulsating in your head.

“I’m sorry I ruined our movie night.” You tell him with your eyes closed, and you don’t hear anything after a second but feel his lips come into contact with yours.

“Don’t apologize, pet.” He says, watching you carefully with compassion. “I’m sorry you ever have to go through this. If I could take it all away from you I would.”

“I know.” You try to smile up at him. “Thank you.” You tell him, resting your forehead against his.

i kinda wanna do a part two to this with loopy Y/N, so let me know if you’d like that lol thank you for reading, love you guys <3

#Harry Styles #harry styles x reader #harrystyles one shot #harry styles imagine #harry styles one shot #harrystyles #migraine

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twinklelilstarkey · 4 years

Text

Goodbye - Neil {TENET}

Pairing: Neil x Reader

Words: 1.5k+

Type: Angst

Summary: Y/N decides to leave after Neil comes back injured from a mission.

Warnings: Mentions of blood and death.

You walk back in the room and stare at Neil’s asleep state. He looks peaceful, just like any other night.

It doesn’t even look like he took two bullets onto his abdomen and isn’t laying in a hospital bed.

He had just come back from surgery a few hours ago, and he should be waking up soon, or at least that’s what the doctors said.

Your chest aches at the sight of all the cables connected to his body and the large bruise on his jaw. You had seen the large bandage that covered his torso when a nurse came to check his stitching, and you just can’t take your mind off of it.

You put down the warm paper cup with coffee on the side table and take your seat next to the bed once more. Your hands are freezing under the warm air of the air conditioner, shaking out of pure anxiety.

You stare at the ground while leaning back on your chair, deep in thought.

The beeping sound of Neil’s heartbeat is the only sound that surrounds your ears, filling the silence in the room.

The door of the room slides open, making you snap back to reality and look up at the nurse, who is already staring at you.

“Hi” She whispers with a quick and small smile.

You nod as a way to answer her, not giving out a smile back, before looking over at your fiancé, who is still very much quiet and not moving.

The woman walks over behind you to check on Neil’s IV and charts and you move your hand over his. His hand is warmer than yours but also not as soft, his calloused bits on his palm feel familiar to you but it has been so long that it also feels somewhat different.

It’s not the first time Neil has left for work without a word, especially during the night. But it’s the second time he ends up in a hospital bed, badly injured.

The nurse walks out of the room, taking a good look at you before walking away and you ignore her gaze.

Once the door of the room closes, leaving you in the silence once more, you move your chair closer to the bed. You lift Neil’s hand and lay it on your cheek, feeling his warmth against your skin, consuming the coldness of it.

Your gaze lifts over to his face and your eyes fill with tears.

It’s probably the tenth time you’ve cried over him and the amount of emotions you’ve been feeling ever since you’ve stepped in this hospital.

Your heart breaks and feels heavy every time you think about the call you received.

Neil’s coworkers told you exactly what had happened in the mission once you settled in the waiting room and also how you shouldn’t worry about him since “he’s strong”. But you can’t help it.

Your anxiety has been awful ever since he left, affecting your daily life profusely.

You couldn’t focus on your work; you couldn’t focus in conversations and just to make matters worse: your friends have been oblivious to everything. Making you seem like an awful person and co-worker to them.

A hospital call or even one from Neil’s workplace is something you prepared for every time he left, but the nausea and the pumping heart were still very much prominent when you got it.

A groan from the man next to you sounds.

“Neil?” You whisper while getting up from your chair and letting go of his hand to hover yours over his face.

You cup his cheek slightly to try and not hurt him and his eyes open slightly, making him groan, again, over the brightness of the lights in the room.

“Where am I?” He asks. His voice is hoarse, over being asleep for so many hours, but you tried not to pay too much attention to it.

You move back a bit as he opens his eyes and quickly let go of his cheek as you feel yours wet. You wipe your tears, ignoring how you possibly didn’t feel them earlier, and decide to answer him.

“Hospital” You answer, a little louder than before.

He tries to sit up but cringes once the pain courses through his body.

“Try not to move too much, you got shot twice on your side” You say.

You sit back on your chair as he grabs the bed’s little controller, quickly getting the hang of it and making it help him sit up, and you hesitate to look at him as he gets comfortable, making Neil notice.

“Are you feeling okay?”

“I should be the one asking you that” You say with a small fake smile, looking up.

Neil notices the slight puffiness under your eyes and bites his tongue to not say anything out loud. Not before thinking twice. He knows how much you worry, that’s one of the reasons why he’s usually so careful in his missions.

Luck certainly wasn’t on his side this time, and he is hating every second of the outcome of it.

“Have you eaten?” He asks, concern is highly noticeable on his tone.

You nod slowly and the weight in your chest heavies the more you look at him.

“Come sit” Neil says, moving his legs over to one side of the bed so you could take your seat next to him.

You get up from your chair and take a seat right where he petted the bed, facing him.

“How bad was it?” He asks in a whisper, “When I came into the hospital”

Flashes of the nurses red tinted hands against Neil’s soaked shirt and the faint deep red trail around the entrance of the ER run through your mind.

You take a deep breath before answering.

“Bad” You answer, feeling tears fill your vision once more, making you look away discreetly.

Neil, to try and grab your attention, moves his hand and puts it over yours. His body feels rather stiff with the pain, but he tries to hide it with the best of his ability so he can focus on you for just a moment.

He notices how your eyes stare into nothing as you think about something and gives your hand a slight squeeze.

“I don’t think I can do this anymore” You whisper, so faintly that Neil almost doesn’t catch it.

“What do you mean?”

You stare up at him, your eyes meeting in the quick movement. Your eyesight is affected by the tears, that fight to drip down your cheeks, but, in a way, you can still see him clearly.

“I mean about us”

Neil freezes in time as those words leave your mouth and chills travel through him.

“It’s the second time you almost died in these missions, Neil” You say leaving out a sob, but you quickly cover your mouth in hopes to control it.

Neil stays quiet.

“You walk out of our apartment without even saying a word and disappear for months, reappearing like this” You say, trying to compose yourself in the middle of the sentence, “We were supposed to get married next month-”

“We still can” He says, moving his hands to cup your face. Shock has finally left his body and he’s back to his senses, “Don’t do this to me” He adds, voice cracking.

You sob at his words, lowering your head almost as in shame in how much you’re breaking. “I need to” You say in a low tone. Neil pulls you closer and you continue to sob loudly as he tries to hold you.

“It’s for the best… For the both of us”

“No” He says shaking his head, “No, we can get through this together”

You look up a bit at him.

“I love you so much” You whisper, “And that’s exactly why I can’t deal with the thought of you getting killed when you step out of our home”

His thumbs run though your wet cheeks slowly as the two of you stare at each other, both heartbroken.

“The doctors said it was a miracle that you survived” You say with a sad smile, “And I’m so thankful that you did, but I really can’t, Neil”

Neil’s eyes glisten with the light as one of his hand move over to the back of your neck, making you feel the wetness of your tears still on his skin.

“Is there anything I can do to make you stay?” He whispers, breathing slowly to try and keep calm.

“No” You say calmly, “Because you are not going to stop working”

He stays quiet while listening to your voice and pulls you closer by the back of your head, making your foreheads meet and your noses touch.

“I love you” He whispers, and you fight your tears.

You close the space between you and kiss him. Your lips don’t move, but neither do Neil’s, they just press onto each other.

Both of your hearts shatter with the feeling of this being your last kiss and how you can just tell by the way it feels. Your lungs burn as you breathe in when pulling away and you wrap your arms around Neil’s neck, pulling him into a hug.

Neil leans his head onto yours when wrapping his arms around you and he breathes in your smell, trying to get it through his head that it will be the last time he feels it.

You pull away after a few seconds and look over at him. A tear falls from his eye as he looks up at you. You bite your lip, pulling the ring out of your ring finger and lay it on his palm.

You move back a bit and take a good look at him once more.

“Goodbye” You say.

“Bye” He answers.

You force yourself out of the bed and quickly grab your things from the chair.

Neil stares at you, as you do it, and once you walk out of the sliding door, not looking back, he moves his gaze towards a table next to him.

Exactly where your, now, cold coffee sat.

- - - - -

Hope you guys liked it!

#robert pattinson #robert pattinson x reader #robert pattinson imagine #tenet #tenet imagine #neil x reader #neil tenet x reader #neil #neil imagine #tenet imagines

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honeypirate · 3 years

Text

In the end part two

Izuku Midoriya pro hero x fem pro hero reader

Okay so I wanted to write a part two because I kept thinking about it hahaha it’s shit but I wanted a happier ending. For Midoriya.

Comfort from waking up after being in a coma.

Part one here

Your eyes pop open and look up at a white tiled ceiling, you try to talk but you can’t get any words out, you start to panic, to hyperventilate as your mouth and throat recognize the presence of a tube, your hands fly to your mouth as the beeping from the machines add to your panic.

A pair of hands grab yours and hold them down gently “y/n y/n look at me please look at me” you look up and focus on a very familiar pair of emerald eyes, you squeeze his hands and he sees just how panicked you are in your eyes “y/n just try and relax Everything is okay just don’t look away from me keep your eyes on me” you nod quick and squeeze his hands again as nurses and doctors run into the room, nurses silence the beeping and a doctor comes up to you “just relax miss l/n it’s okay I just need to remove this tube” you don’t look away from Izuku as the doctor removes the tape and then slowly and gently pulls the tube from your throat. Once it’s free a nurse wipes away the spit and you take the tissues from her and cough into them, you begin to cry from how scared you were in that moment, from the overwhelming panic you felt.

Izuku wipes your tears as the doctor asks you questions. “I’m deeply sorry for you have to experience that. We didn’t expect you to wake up on your own. You’ve been in a coma for three weeks” your eyes flash back to Izuku and you can see how ragged he looks, he looks like he hasn’t slept that entire time, his hair is a mess and he’s wearing a sweatshirt that you stole from him a long time ago. He must have got it from your apartment. You wish you could hug him. He smiles at you with relief in his eyes, he knew exactly what you’re thinking, desperate to hug you as well.

After the doctors do a few quick tests they remove your IV and then leave you alone with Izuku. You watch as he stands from his chair he was at to stay out of the way and crosses the room to you, you smile gently and feel tears start to fall again. “Oh no don’t cry” he cups your cheeks and brushes away the tears “sweet girl” he says “I was so worried but I never lost hope. I knew you’d come back to me” you reach up and grab his hands, holding them in your own. “I was so scared that night” you whisper “I thought. I throught for sure I’d never see you again.” Your voice cracks “you saved me Izuku” his eyes swell with tears, as hard as he was holding them back he couldn’t any longer “I wish you didn’t have to go through that” you reach up and wipe his tears away.

Now you’re two crying people who are desperately in love with each other, both holding each other’s faces wiping away the tears. You can’t keep your feelings hidden any longer, you couldn’t when you knew how easy life could change “I love you Izuku” you whisper and his eyes widen for a second before your words really hit him, his tears flow harder as he leans down, placing a chaste kiss to your lips, your tears mixing together, when he pulls back he takes a big breath with a smile and says “I love you y/n” he says with a laugh, you start to laugh with him “look at us” you say and he laughs a little harder along side you.

When you both calm down, stopping crying and laughing, he helps you out of bed and into the bathroom. Your muscles are stiff from not using them for so long and your legs start to shake after a few minutes. Change into some comfy clothes he had brought you a while ago, in hopes it would help you wake up somehow to know you had some of your things here. When you open the door again he’s right there, taking your arm and helping you back to the bed. He hands you your phone he kept charged and you called your parents, you ended up crying again and telling them that you want them to come over the next day since you just wanted to go home and get comfortable. “Let me speak to Midoriya” you mom says and you laugh holding out your phone to him “it’s for you” he laughs and takes it “hello mrs. l/n. Yes. Yes I will. Yes. Thank you” he hands the phone back to you, his cheeks flushed, you mouthed “what did she say?” At Izuku and he just grinned, unbeknownst to you he’s been talking to your parents every day since you were in the hospital since they live in America and can’t travel. He’s confided in your mom many times about how much he loves you and how scared he was. “I’ll tell you later” he whispers as you continue your conversation with your mom.

After you finish your call you text all your friends and you send out a few messages on your social media’s so your fans know you’re alive and you look at emails and then groan at the number. You sigh and hand your phone to Izuku “can you take this? I’m overwhelmed” he nods “of course” he slips it in his pocket and then pulls you into a hug, rubbing circles across your back as you take deep breaths, the smell of him filling your senses.

A nurse came in after a little while with a wheelchair and your discharge papers. Izuku has your other things in a bag over his shoulder and he follows you out of the hospital with the nurse.

Izuku takes you to your apartment and runs a bath for you, he helps you into the bathroom and then hesitates, “can I ..” he gestures at you and you chuckle, raising your arms above your head, knowing he just wants to take care of you.

He helps you out of your shirt and your bottoms, taking your hand as you step into the hot bubble bath “this is perfect Izuku thank you so much” his face is red from seeing you naked but he feels good that you trust him and love him. He wants to help you feel loved and cared for. He kneels behind the bathtub and wets your hair, gently massaging in the shampoo and conditioner, tears were softly falling down your cheeks as you experienced this moment with him. You felt so loved and taken care of.

You washed your front and he took the wash cloth from you to wash your back, his cheeks getting even redder. He helps you out of the tub and wraps a towel around you, kissing your forehead and pulling you into a hug not caring about the water on your skin and hair. “I’m going to lay out some clothing for you” he says and you nod against his chest. As he disappears you brush your teeth and run a separate towel through your hair. before your legs and arms begin to shake. “Zuku” you say before you find yourself falling to the ground.

“I’m here sweetheart” he says and catches you, easily sweeping you up into his arms as he carries you out to the bedroom “sorry I took so long” you shake your head, a frown on your lips as tears spring to your eyes yet again “no. Don’t be sorry. You have been,,, so good to me, I can’t ever thank you enough” he sets you gently on the bed and crouches down to look at you closely, a small smile on his lips “I would do anything for you, for nothing at all. I’ve been so lucky for you to give me your heart, to trust me to take care of you. I love you. I will always take care you.”

you don’t realize you’re crying again until he’s wiping your tears away “come on, lets get you dressed and then I’m going to carry you to the couch where we can watch movies and order take out” you smile and nod “good girl” he stands and grabs the clothes he has laying out, helping you put on your shirt before slipping your underwear up your legs, helping you stand and keeping you steady as you pull them all the way up. he places your hands on his shoulders as he helps put your sweats on you before sweeping you up again. you chuckle softly and he smiles, the sound making him feel the first real happiness he’s felt in weeks. oh how he’s missed your laugh.

After a good meal you’re feeling more like yourself, you sit on the couch with your feet up on Izuku as he tells you thinks you’ve missed. Like how a new hero is interning with his agency and how Bakugou finally confessed his feelings for Ochako. you could hardly believe you missed so much. “I hope you don’t mind but I’ve been coming here to shower, I just wanted to feel closer to you” he’s shy and look at his hands, blush dusting his cheeks. You turn your body to move closer to him, cupping his cheek and turning his face towards yours, you kiss his nose “I don’t mind. My home has always felt better with you in it” his face blushes deeper and he kisses your lips softly. “I’m so happy, so relived you’re here” you smile “I’m here to stay” you say and he pulls you into his chest, hugging you tight.

“I can’t wait to get stronger and come back to work” you say cuddling into him “I’m glad you still want to be a hero but I would understand if you had a change of heart” he runs his fingers through your hair and you lean back to look at him “thank you for saying that” you caress his cheek and he blushes “but i’m a hero, I have to get my strength back so I can fight along side of you and protect people.” he places his hand over yours “that’s the girl I fell in love with” he places his forehead against yours and you close your eyes “let’s go see Recovery Girl in the morning. she might be able to take care of the damage done to your muscles and then I can help you start training as soon as you want” you chuckle and reach up to place your hands on his neck “that’s a good idea. will you stay here with me tonight?” you rub your thumbs softly against his skin “I was hoping you would ask me that” he whispers and before he can say anything else you close the last few inches between you both and press your lips into his

he sighs and cups your face gently, smiling into the kiss, when you break away his eyes are filled with a mix of love and bliss, “i love you” you whisper and he blushes “I love you” he says back to you and your heart fills with electricity, you’ve been dying to tell him that for months, it feels amazing to finally have it out in the open and reciprocated. you just wish it was under a better circumstance.

You watch a move while cuddling, his hand in yours and your head against his chest, when it ends you’re already falling asleep against him. he chuckles as he turns off the tv, picking you up easily “I cant believe im falling asleep. You would think i got enough of it the last three weeks” you say as he carries you to bed. he tucks you in and turns to leave but you pop up, fully awake and grab his hand “don't leave!” you shout and then blush, embarrassed at your outburst, you drop his hand and look down at your hands in your lap “I’m sorry” you whisper and he reaches out, tilting your chin up to look at him “don’t worry” he leans down and kisses your forehead “I’m going to shower and then i’ll come right back here to you” you blush deeper, feeling a little worse for your outburst. “okay” you whisper and he leans down, kissing your forehead before re-tucking you in “I couldn’t leave you and I don’t want to. Don’t worry my sweetheart”

when he gets back after his quick shower you’re still in the same position, he thought you were asleep until he slid in next to you and you pulled him to you, cuddling in to his chest “finally” you whisper and his heart flutters, you were waiting for him. “you make me feel safe” you whisper “I’ll always keep you safe, no matter what” he says and you kiss his shirtless chest “always my hero” you say before finally feeling relaxed enough to fall asleep.

#mha #mha fanfiction #bnha fanfiction #mha midoriya #midoriya x you #midoriya fanfiction #midoriya x reader #midoriya x y/n #izuku x you #izuku fanfic #izuku x reader #midoriya izuku

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jungxk · 4 years

Text

just one (vii)

notes: the only guy on campus who’s track record trumped that of your best friend’s - park jimin - was jeon jungkook. not that that was a problem…until he set his sights on you.

warnings: smut (oral: m receiving. unprotected sex, brief cumplay)

genre: drama, romance, humour, college!au

wordcount: 10.4k

tagging: @underthejoon @misosoup-forthesoul

part i // part ii // part iii // part iv // part v // part vi // part vii // part viii // part ix // part x

jungkook knows from the second he heard seulgi's steps marching to the front door that he should have just sat back and waited for your reply before coming over. but he has a busy afternoon and somewhere to be in less than an hour, and it's much too late to scarper because seulgi yanks the door open before he can twist on his heels. her hair is up in a pile on top of her head with a huge sweatshirt coming down to her knees but jungkook has never been more terrified. seulgi watches him so carefully he swears she can see the beads of sweat forming on his temple. "seulgi noona! good morning," no response. "um...how are you?"

seulgi taps her foot. "you want to know how i am after you finished all the fruit loops and left your dirty underwear on my bathroom floor?" even though he's a head taller than her, jungkook still scurries to obey when she points him into the flat. "how do you think i am, jungkook? because i feel like i'm a single mother to a messy, inconsiderate weasel who doesn't know how to put the toilet seat down!"

"um...sorry?" jungkook offers timidly, hoping his cute grin will lessen his sentence. it usually works on his hyungs and hookups. "i'll replace the fruit loops, i promise. and i'll work on the toilet thing!"

just when he thinks he's in the clear and tries to step passed her, seulgi grabs jungkook by the ear and yanks him back to make him shriek. "fuck yeah you'll work on it! you also have to work on not using my limited edition apple-scented conditioner that i've been saving up for since before you were born!"

"you're only three years older than me!"

she pulls harder. "what was that?"

"i'm sorryyy," jungkook whines uncomfortably, unable to free himself from her grip to keep hold of the huge bag he's clutching. he squeezes his eyes shut when she starts to twist and regrets ever stepping foot here without you to protect him as a human shield. "ow, ow, ow! i said i'm sorry, noona!"

"leave him alone seulgi! you can kill him after friday, he's our ride!" jisoo pokes her head out from the kitchen to make sure that seulgi complies and releases jungkook in one piece, throwing the younger boy a sympathetic smile while he clutches his swollen ear with a pout. "_____ is in the shower, jungkookie. go wait in her room before you leave here decapitated."

jungkook practically sprints down the hall, barely missing seulgi when she lunges for him threateningly. "if you weren't fucking one of my best friends i'd keep your nuts as a keychain, jeon! remember that!"

"kook? you here?" you call just before pushing open your bedroom door, kicking it shut with your heel while holding a towel to your hair. sure enough jungkook is sat at the end of your bed, pink knees showing through the rip in his jeans while he bounces his leg in anticipation. the hoodie he's wearing is too big for him, and he's squeezing the handle of a big, fancy looking paper bag like his life depends on it. "i thought i heard seulgi screaming," you scoff, rushing past him to search for a pair of socks in the laundry basket, haphazardly throwing things into your bag as you go. "sorry, but i'm already late to jimin's, so maybe later? his new order came from asos so he wants my opinions-"

"i'll be quick," jungkook stands quickly, and you finally take a second to get a proper look at his face. big, round eyes looking everywhere but yours when he thrusts the bag at you. "i just wanted to give you this. i'll see you later! if seulgi doesn't castrate me first..."

"wait," you steady a hand on his arm before he can go. "what's this? did i leave something at yours?"

he shakes his head. it's hard to do anything but stare at him: a gift? from jungkook? the most he had ever bought you was the occasional lunch or emergency chocolate, so it was a little hard to believe. a part of you is convinced it was some kind of gag like a costco-size pack of condoms or an accompaniment to those vibrating panties from his birthday but jungkook isn't laughing. if anything, he looks agitated. but it's hard to tell if that was because of seulgi's yelling. he clearly wasn't going to give you an explanation so you sit on the bed and decide to keep jimin waiting another ten minutes.

you pull out the bag's contents and it's heavy. it's a thick wooden case with ornate golden latches, and inside the case are beautifully arranged premium oil paints of every discernible shade you could think of, pristine and practically gleaming against the velvet lining. the set was complete with palette knives and various varnishes and glazing mediums that are only sold with the most luxurious of paint sets. you only ever saw this kind of painting equipment in shop windows or ridiculous online bids and here they were, spread out across your hello kitty bedding. finally, your shaky hands reach out to trace the gold work the edges of the wood just to make sure your eyes weren't deceiving you.

all the while jungkook practically hops from one foot to the other, desperate to leave. "it's okay if you don't like them. you don't have to use them or anything, i just thought-"

"jungkook," you whisper, overwhelmed with questions. "i...they're beautiful," he relaxes significantly. "i just...i can't believe you got your hands on these, they must have cost a fortune...!" you finally meet his eyes, shocked. your hair damp and your expression creased with confusion and even concern...it's sweet. he finds it hard not to smile. you start to shake your head slowly. "kook-ah, i can't accept this. there's no way i can pay you back-"

"why would you pay me back? they're yours," your stomach flips when he looks at you, hands in his hoodie pocket while he hovers over you. he hasn't put his cologne on yet so he smells like baby fabric softener and something sweet. your jungkook. "you needed paints and now you have them." he pauses at your blank expression. "do you need more colours or something? it was the biggest set i could find-"

"no! no, of course not, it's plenty...more than enough! more than i know what to do with, actually..." you stare at him again. "i don't know what to say. i've never had paints so expensive before..." guilt creeps up in the back of your throat. "you didn't have to do this, you know. jisoo and seulgi were going to get me new oils for my birthday anyway...pretty good ones, from the supply shop in town." you close the case carefully. "jungkook, this kit look just shy of a grand..."

"hey," he takes your chin, because jungkook knows that look. he smooths his thumb over your cheek, as if to smooth away the panic with it. "don't be silly. with your talent you were well overdue the fancy stuff anyway. i had the money and i spent it because that's what money's for. it's no big deal."

you lay your hand over his. "it's a big deal to me," you fist your hands in his thick jumper, pulling yourself up to him for a big kiss that's long and wet. it's not often that you throw yourself all over him so unabashedly so jungkook enjoys the attention, lets you nip at his bottom lip while you snake your hands up his hoodie. he's bare underneath. you instinctively trace at his happy trail, swallowing down the taste of him. "take your pants off."

"w-what?" you've already got his belt undone before he opens his eyes, popping his jeans open and loosening them around his hips with your thumbs hooked inside. he has a mole under his belly button that you are just dying to kiss, lowering yourself to sit back on the bed. "you don't have to do this, noona..." he says weakly, but his eyes are already sliding shut while you suck love bites above his underwear. he means it too. he really didn't get you the paint set for a lay.

and that's what makes you want to fuck him even more.

he sighs hard when you palm him over his boxers, tracing firm circles until you're met with a wet patch on the fabric. "i've been using watered down acrylic for almost a month. do you know what that's like for someone who works almost exclusively with oils? fucking horrible, that's what. so let me celebrate," you yank his jeans down under his ass, giving it a light squeeze before pulling him in by the elastic of underwear so that you can open your mouth wide over him atop the fabric, let him feel the heat of your breath over his cock before sucking until you taste pre-cum. only you could get him from zero to a hundred in a few minutes. jungkook gives in, lacing his fingers through your damp hair so that he can buck into your face insistently. he releases a salacious whine, which he isn't used to doing.

you're at the perfect height to have him in your mouth while he's standing and you're sat on the bed, not that you have time for anything else because you're already late. pulling his underwear down along with his jeans, you hum at the sight of jungkook's dripping erection, leaning in to catch the dribbles of pre-cum as if they were going to waste otherwise, and jungkook thinks the sight alone could kill him. he's flushed darker at his tip, and if you concentrate hard enough you could feel the vein on the underside pumping with excitement. you always had a way of eating cock that made him shiver; like you were greedy for it, selfish even. like you'd rather die than not taste every inch of him, every drop, so thirsty for his cream in your mouth that you didn't care what you had to do to get it. it's why he often pushed your head away, not ready to finish so soon, but it's also why he becomes putty in your hands, a slave to your mouth. like it's your cock and he just happens to be attached to it. you're not a lewd girl so he never expected it of you. maybe that's why it delights him so.

the head of jungkook's manhood is swollen, almost bulbous, flushed such a deep red it could kiss violet. you take him in your hand, use your thumb to rub up his length, the soft curve allowing for some gentle pressure at the base. was it possible to be in love with a cock? that's how it felt, and you had never felt this way before. you can't even hide your pleasure when you take the tip in your mouth, rubbing him along the pad of your tongue first before sucking him all the way in. jungkook squirms, tries not to rut his hips but it's impossible, your other hand venturing down to give his balls a gentle fondle. you hum around him as you do, determined to suck every bead of cum out of him. jungkook groans so hard he blushes all the way up to his ears and down the back of neck, sweating profusely now. he's not new to letting girls take the reigns but with you it felt so...invigorating. fresh.

he trembles when you gag around him, watching the saliva and pre-cum accumulate around your chin. your lashes are so long and pretty from this angle. jungkook knows he's a goner once you start to bob your head, wetting the length of him with as much saliva as you can muster. it comes off in a string when you pull away to look at him, cleaning your lips with your tongue. "where do you want to finish, kook-ah?"

it's usually tits. for the sheer visual of course, because they're his weakness. but jungkook knows how much you adore it when he fills your mouth and lets you swallow his load whole, the taste alone so euphoric he can see the whites of your eyes sometimes. and so, with much difficulty, he replies while you twirl your tongue around his leaking tip. "m-mouth. please..."

you don't reply; only smile triumphantly before closing your mouth around his head again and sucking the life out of him. jungkook is vocal, whimpering and moaning and thrusting into your mouth so his belt buckle clicks rhythmically. knowing his answer his answer succeeded in pleasing you made the entire thing that much more overwhelming. jungkook wills himself to look down, seeing your hard nipples through your shirt, a tiny detail but evidently his demise; ropes of his cum fill your mouth, hot and sticky with a noticeable tang you could never get tired of. you keep swallowing, lapping up the remnants long after jungkook has ridden through his high, beginning to writhe from the over-stimulation but he doesn't dare push you away if only to look at you sat there with his dick in your mouth for a few more seconds.

when you finally pull back, swiping at the pre-cum on your chin with your finger and sucking it like pastry cream. he almost passes out. "you should buy me art supplies more often."

"are you kidding?" he's still panting when he climbs on top of you, pushing your giggling form to lie underneath him while he tugs your top up and plays with your breasts; first with his hands, then with his mouth. they're so warm and soft under his lips, the act hardly even sexual but idle. comforting. it feels so nice you squeak when you feel his teeth graze over the puckered skin. "next time i'm getting you a whole studio. or a fucking museum."

"so do you have any explanation for being over an hour late?" jimin examines himself in his wardrobe mirror while you cross your legs on the end of his bed amidst the plastic covered clothing. you try to be as collected as possible but jimin could catch your fidgeting a mile away. "because i had to ask tae for his opinions on these jeans while you were gone, and he was honest. too honest," he studies his body's profile. "do i really have a bubble butt?"

"i just overslept," you say simply, examining him with a finger to your lips. "and definitely not. you're flatter than a naan. those jeans are just creating assets out of nowhere. which is a good thing!"

"and how would you know? does that mean you've been looking?" jimin teases, not even warning you before tugging his tee off from the back in that rough way that boys do. you busy yourself with looking for a shirt to pair his pants with because you know jimin is toned and firm and wonderfully tanned with a smooth chest you used to exclusively fall asleep on. you don't need reminding. "are you shy, ____?"

"do you want me to be shy?" you're both caught off guard by the challenge.

jimin isn't sure whether to be amused or excited but takes the sweater you throw him without comment. "hm, looks a little big."

"you like oversized," you offer. "but you have another jumper just like that."

he holds up the garment and squints. "i do?"

"the grey one," you go to his wardrobe to fetch it, sifting through the various hung clothes before pulling it out. "with the puffy sleeves, see? not worth it if you ask me. what about this navy one?" you pull out one of the new tees from the pile. "i love this colour on you."

you look up to see his perfect smile. "i'll remember that."

you avoid his gaze. "you can wear it to that thing on friday," he watches you scurry back to your seat on the bed again, perching on the end while you wait for him to change with your eyes closed. it's so endearing and innocent he can't stop smiling at you through the mirror. "seulgi and jisoo seem pretty keen on going now, too. what did you tell them?"

"the same thing i told everyone: free drinks and free food," he pulls on the navy shirt and you accidently catch him, unintentionally lingering on his nipples. they're bigger than jungkook's but the same rich, delicious brown. you start to think about this morning and suddenly you clamp your thighs shut. "the guy's loaded, how many more times do i have to say it? and now that seulgi and jisoo are going there's really no reason why you shouldn't either."

you sigh. "jimin, you don't even know this guy. how can you be a walking advert for his party if you don't even-"

"i totally know him!" jimin looks offended, nose all crinkled. "you know irene?"

you perk up hopefully. "...yeah, actually. we went to hers a while ago, right?"

"right! well it's her sister's ex-boyfriend's neighbour's cousin's gym buddy!"

"...you are un-fucking-believable."

"but i'm yours," his palms are suddenly planted firmly on your knees like he always does to get your attention, forcing you to look at him when he shoves them apart slightly. it's a mirror-image of jungkook from this morning after he got you naked, but this time it's jimin's musk and plush lips and hooded eyes that don't falter for even a second. he takes the opportunity while you're quiet, his thumb rubbing circles on the fabric of your leggings. his signature move in the wearing-you-down process. "come with us, babe. you know i wouldn't ask if i didn't think you'd have fun."

"okay..." you say finally. his lips are nearly berry pink. has he been biting them?

jimin pulls back, satisfied. "namjoon and yoongi are going, too. so it's not like you won't know anyone."

namjoon and yoongi means jungkook wouldn't miss it, he always tags along. so seulgi and jisoo really weren't joking when they mentioned he'd be their ride. it's the first time you'd both be somewhere public together since your little escapade started, so you weren't sure how to feel. would you just pretend to be friends? weren't you just friends? would you mingle with namjoon and yoongi like you usually would given they're in his circle? avoid him completely? ride with jimin instead of carpool?

would jungkook get with other girls?

you feel small all of a sudden, stamping down the feeling by opening another plastic covered item of clothing. instead of thinking about your unspoken arrangement with jungkook it felt better just to avoid the entire thing and save yourself the headache. whatever you had going right now was working and it was good, great even. so why mess with it?

before you know it, taehyung is bursting into the room to flop beside you. he twists himself to throw his legs over your thighs without missing a beat, head hanging slightly off the bed when he looks at jimin. "you told him to keep the jeans? seriously, _____?"

"i think they look nice."

"thank you!"

"and i want to borrow them."

"...what?"

"i don't understand why this is taking so long," jungkook complains from under the pillow on his face. he's sprawled out across your bed under an array of tops, skirts, dresses, tights, you name it. he no longer cared. seulgi was doing her eyebrows in her compact mirror on the floor, her makeup surrounding her in a cult-like circle while jisoo was painting her nails on your desk chair, sitting nice and still while you waved her hair with a straightener. it had already been over an hour since jungkook arrived to pick you all up and since then he's fallen asleep, made a snack and watched two episodes of naruto on his phone. "you said to pick you guys up at seven. what's the point if you weren't even ready?"

"when girls say seven they don't actually mean seven, jungkookie," jisoo blows her pinky fingernail dry.

"i just don't get how there's so much to do," he grumbles, knowing better than to reach over and inspect the array of hair products and cosmetics. the three of you kicked up a fuss when he dropped an eyeliner an hour or so ago. "guys just wash their pits, maybe their balls. throw on some lynx and leave."

"and that's why you are the inferior species," seulgi says from behind her mirror. "but maybe you'll survive, jeon. you actually use soap for one thing."

"that's because he doesn't like strong smells," you say absently while parting the last layer of jisoo's hair. "he won't even let me near him if i come back from the studio without a shower."

jungkook splutters with embarrassment when the girls laugh and coo at him. "i told you, the paint smell gives me a headache!"

"speaking of headaches," seulgi gives jisoo an evil, conniving smirk from across the room. "guess who's not coming tonight!"

jisoo rolls her eyes. "if you say taehyung i'm gonna-"

"please! everyone and their mother knows you and tae are extinct. i'm talking about namjoon and yoongi," seulgi looks at her mischievously. "think about it, ____ already gives us a way in. free drinks, fancy house, unfamiliar faces...i heard this rich-kid even has a patio. this is our shot."

jisoo stands up abruptly. "then i need my slutty blouse."

"again, you mean my slutty blouse," you pout.

jungkook lifts the pillow from his face to look at you. "you have a slutty blouse?" the girls ignore him while they filter out of the room in search for it, because it takes an extra pair of hands when it comes to navigating jisoo's wardrobe. jungkook throws the pillow aside, his hair is a bit dishevelled from lying down, but he manages to pull off the style well even in a smart-casual, silk maroon button down and black jeans. not forgetting his array of silver earrings and rings, doing nothing but adding to his devilish look especially when he looks at you so mischievously. you know then that he won't let this topic go without an answer. "why haven't i seen it? your slutty blouse?"

you roll your eyes, glad you're not facing him because it was harder to maintain resolve with eye contact. "what's the point? you barely let me keep a shirt on around you."

he snorts, resting his chin on his hand while he watches you. your already-flattering waistline was now mesmerising in your little dress. "i like boobs. sue me."

"my heart is racing, slick." you say dryly. before he rolls back, you swivel in your desk chair to look at him. "so what's the deal?"

jungkook pops an eye open. "deal?"

"tonight," you gesture between you. "i just think that we should, you know. make sure we're on the same page."

"oh," he shrugs nonchalantly. "well, we're friends. do what you want."

you nod quietly, not exactly satisfied but you let it go. it's not that you expected much else from him so you couldn't say you were disappointed; jeon jungkook doesn't do serious. you knew that going into all of this. you gave up hobi - or rather hobi gave up on you - being well aware of this. in your heart you knew it was more complicated than that, but if it made him feel better about the whole idea by acting like strangers around other people you could accept that. he'd come around eventually. the trust is what's important, the unspoken respect and connection that you both shared. knowing that was intact didn't leave room for much worry or doubt, but one thing did. "i gotta admit though...i'm gonna miss not having a bodyguard."

jungkook looks at you through the corner of his eye. he pauses, internally debating with himself before sitting up with a long sigh. he removes his watch, a big bulky silver one that he always kept on his person. "okay, let me tell you a secret," he looks at you seriously that his next words almost knock you over. "have you watched john tucker must die?"

it's so difficult not to wheeze with laughter, but jungkook looks very solemn so you forcefully hold it in. "yeah, when i was thirteen. like most people. why?"

"because that thing with the watch," he takes your hand, slipping the timepiece over your wrist. "you know near the end, where he gives her his watch? that shit works. wards off the assholes, i mean. at least most of them," it's weighty and far too big, just barely hanging onto your wrist without slipping off completely. it didn't go with the outfit you had planned at all and bordered on uncomfortable but your stomach flickers with butterflies anyway; the paints, now his watch. it meant something, right? still, it's hard to see past such a juvenile concept, which at this point was the norm when it came to jungkook. "the second most guys see this they won't even try approaching you. like vampires and garlic. jimin and vegetables."

"are you kidding?" his expression remains resolute. "jungkook, that was a movie. from like, ten years ago. about sadistic white kids who most likely peaked in high school!"

"the principle is the same!" he argues, so fervent in his expression it's adorable. "just wait and see, you'll get significantly less trouble tonight."

you find yourself smiling playfully. "and if i don't?"

"you can paint me nude like in titanic, and i'll tattoo it right here," he points to the empty space of skin on the inside of his wrist, the same place he showed you forever ago in the library. even now he was reluctant to cover the area to officially complete his sleeve which was symbolic in itself, so it was an awfully big gamble. closest to his hand and in the eye of others, jungkook knows that whatever he decides to tattoo there would be his most high-profile piece. which is how you know he is unwavering in confidence.

you squint at him daringly. "you wouldn't."

"and if you're wrong," he continues with a cheeky grin that he tries hard to reign in. his teeth sink into his bottom lip so you're staring at the mole beneath it when he talks. "you can finally wear those vibrating panties for me with that slutty blouse of yours."

if you paid better attention, you would realise that you knew this neighbourhood. but you're strapped into the passenger's seat of jungkook's eyesore of a truck, seulgi and jisoo screaming along the words to destiny's child with all the windows rolled down. the night air is wonderfully cool for once, fanning through the back of your neck while you soak up in this feeling. laughing with jungkook next to you, blasting out seulgi's playlist, twitching whenever jisoo tries reaching one of those high notes that she frankly cannot; this could work. you turn to look at jungkook between songs, very nearly getting caught up in the need to tell him that.

his sleeves are rolled up the elbows, muscles flexing every time he changes gear. jungkook gives you a salacious flick of his brow when he catches you staring at him. usually he could hold your hand while waiting at the traffic lights but tonight he doesn't, and you know it's almost certainly because jisoo and seulgi would see. or anyone for that matter. it leaves a bad taste in your mouth, has you sitting tucked against your side of the car in deep thought. until you lift your eyes and notice the string of pretty houses passing you, with gates and neatly cut hedges and perfect mailboxes and...oh.

"thank god! i thought we'd never get here," seulgi's already popping open the car door before jungkook has the hand-break on, eager to scout the overly clean street.

jisoo eagerly scrambles after her, still buzzing from pre's. "holy fuck, would you look at this place? that tree is literally ten times prettier than i am!"

"noona," jungkook's voice is laced with concern when he notices how shell-shocked you look, staring straight ahead as if scared to look at the house. "hey, are you okay?"

your head starts nodding automatically but jungkook knows you're lying. but jungkook also knows it isn't his place to ask why, so exits the car at the same time as you do, leaving a considerable distance from you when you make your way up the fancy porch to the girls. in fact, jungkook is nowhere to be seen the second the three of you enter the vast foyer. not that you have any time to notice, your stomach tight with discomfort. even jisoo notices how clammy your hand is when they tug you over to greet irene and her group and then some of seulgi's graphic design friends. you are too on-edge to offer anything more than a thin-lipped smile, fingers gripping into seulgi's hand instinctively but you so, so wished it was jimin's. or even jungkook's.

it's just like how you remember it. the fancy vase on the middle of the table, the pretty white of the skirting board. the third step from the bottom of the staircase still creaked like it used to, and you knew if you lifted the corner of the rug in the dining room there would still be a wine stain. it's hard to make out the other little specifics because of the dim lights and chatter and alcohol but nothing has changed. maybe that picture in the hallway, or the certificates framed on the mantle piece. but everything else about this house is still polished, elegant, pristine. perfect. everything you are not, just like last time.

so you do everything you can to keep yourself occupied and move systematically around the house while you mingle. maybe with a bit of luck and if you played your cards right, you could avoid the one person who you would do anything to pass up a confrontation with.

after hours of making small talk and hiding behind the watch jungkook gave you every time you so much as pass a man, you almost cry in relief when you see hobi chatting happily on the landing of the first floor. usually your sort-of-ex wouldn't elicit such a positive response from you, but you and hobi were still close after calling it quits, so much so that you can't help but rush to his waiting arms. his stare lingers on you when you pull back from him with slightly glazed eyes and a strained smile, nodding to his friends before turning away to hook his elbow securely around your neck. "everything okay?"

"yes! yeah, it's great...i'm great," your teeth grind absently. "i'm happy to see you here, hobi. i've missed you, how've you been?"

"really good," he says, smiling at you like he always did. it wasn't one of those replies that he exchanged with you for pleasantries sake; hobi genuinely meant it. "and how about you?" there's a pause when you look away, unsure how to answer him with a single sentence. "lemme guess...boy trouble?"

at this point you're too tipsy to hold back your wild laughter. "something like that!"

"do i have to ask which one?" hoseok laughs back.

you push him playfully. "you're only teasing because you've literally been the only decent man in my life and you know it!"

"this is true," he runs his hand through his hair confidently. "but jimin can still earn that spot back, right?"

you tilt your head in question. "what do you mean?"

hoseok blinks at you, the smile dropping quickly from his face. the only time you'd seen him like that was when he broke up with you, civilly and maturely on his sofa after dinner. he licks his lips, as if he's not sure whether to believe you or go through with what he actually wants to say. but you would never lie, so that must mean...hoseok sighs. his hair covers his brows, but you can still see them tightly wound with concern when he touches your arm. "____, did jimin not tell you?"

"tell me what?" you ask, more confused than ever.

"well, if it isn't tinkerbell!" is all your hear before you're being picked up and carried down the stairs in one swift movement. normally you'd panic, as any woman would, but namjoon makes sure to lift you so that you can see his face grinning up at you. yoongi, on the other hand, waves at hobi while you're halfway down the staircase, your laughter already ringing so loud from their immaturity you can only just hear him yell back at hoseok. "sit tight hobi-yah, i need a chat with my fake girlfriend and then i'll return her in mint condition!"

"a chat?" you giggle profusely when namjoon drops you on one of the sofa's in the poolroom, which stank of weed men's body spray. their domain. it was exactly what you needed, their brainless banter and drinking games and bickering to keep you distracted and entertained. "am i in trouble, fake boyfriend?"

"that depends," yoongi flops down next to you. "are you gonna tell us the names of your super-hot friends or are you going to make us beg like dogs?"

"i think the title of fake boyfriend should go to me now," namjoon butts in, wedging himself between you and yoongi clumsily so the older boy almost goes flying off the other side. "you can't be the fake boyfriend if you can't carry the fake girlfriend, which hyung had to ask me to do-"

"what kind of dumbass fucking rule is that?" yoongi protests, face scrunched in disbelief. "you can't just make up fake boyfriend rules and-"

"why not? you made up the concept of a fake boyfriend," namjoon turns back to you. "consider my case. i am taller than hyung so i can reach stuff for you, also i have resting bitch face so guys won't bother you. hyung, in comparison, looks like a marshmallow. i'm also a vegetarian-"

"great, so you won't eat her. bravo," yoongi is back by your side again. "i only asked him to carry you because someone made me drink straight gin on the way over here and honestly i couldn't guarantee we'd both make it down those stairs alive if i picked you up, tinkerbell-"

"why does anyone have to pick me up?" you laugh, bouncing up from the sofa to grab the cues from the pooltable. "how about this - whoever wins this game gets seulgi and jisoo's phone and also the fake boyfriend award. what do you say?"

"do you even know how to play?" namjoon teases.

you stop clearing the table to gawk at him. "what, pool? no! i meant beer pong!"

"i'm way too old for this," yoongi sighs, but he's already getting up to open a fresh six-pack.

"okay, what the fuck happened?" jisoo and seulgi come out nowhere while you're on your way back from the bathroom, dragging you into the spacious conservatory. they knew you well enough to know that you even though you appeared relaxed you were far from it, hovering over you while you're backed into a corner. you're thankful at least for the sturdiness of the wall behind you, how cool it is against your skin. "did jungkook propose to you in the car or something? talk about deer in headlights! you've been looking over your shoulder every half a second since we got here."

"yeah, why do you look like you've seen a ghost?" seulgi dabs the sweat on your forehead from a napkin. "at first i just thought you needed to throw up or something."

"because, um..." you scratch your head, brain finally switching on after hours of avoiding the topic. the questions they had, the questions of your own were now piling up as well, and it was too much. you reach for the closest drink, downing it straight with no mixer. the girls share a glance, but wait for you to continue. "so...ha, this is gonna sound super hilarious...!"

jisoo plucks the empty glass from you. "spill."

you struggle to swallow, throat desperately dry while you pour yourself another drink without really even knowing what it is. "remember that guy i told you about? my ex-boyfriend from like, years ago back when i was a bio-med major?"

"the one who broke up with you once you dropped out and left home?" seulgi's mouth upturns. "yeah, i remember wanting to punch him when you told us about it. who the fuck dumps their girlfriend after she gets disowned? he should be carted off a cliff with your used-be family of snakes and a-"

jisoo darts her head around to survey the room. "wait, is he here? oh fuck, did you see him when we came in?"

"no, but i probably will," you gulp down another scathing glass of whatever. it burns, and you like it. "because this is his house."

the pair of them chorus. "what?!"

you raise your glass mockingly, laughing but also slightly on the verge of tears. "yup! see over there? that's where i used to have dinner with his parents and that's where we'd have drinks before brunch," you tap the skinny glass in your hand so it pings. "and these are the fancy glasses that his aunt got his parents as a wedding gift that never ever get used so i'm like, eighty-per-cent sure they're out of town and have no idea about this party right now which is so not like h-

"brunch?" jisoo's face twists in disgust.

"they're rich! that's what rich people do! they have brunch!"

"so all this time the ex-boyfriend you never talked was fucking loaded? and you never thought to tell us?"

"i didn't think it was important," you say honestly.

jisoo stares at you in disbelief. "isn't his dad like an astronaut or something?"

"no, no, an astrophysicist-"

she covers her eyes. "oh my god you fucked the astronaut's kid..."

"right there, actually," you point into the doorway of the spare room down the hall. "we had to be super quiet because either his parents were home or like, cleaners or butlers or one of his mum's business associates," you sigh hard at the memory. "the one time we almost fucked in the coat room, jin said it was immature and unsanitary because all the coats come from outside but it was my birthday so i was really-"

"wait, hold on," seulgi steadies a hand on your shoulder and you notice that your tongue is already feeling fuzzy. "how did you not know this was his place? how did jimin not know? there's no way he would have invited you to your ex-boyfriend's fucking party let alone-"

"his name is jin," you say finally. "seokjin. i doubt jimin even knows his name," you chew your lip nervously. "i haven't been here in so long, and jungkook was driving and... i..."

"right, well," jisoo still looks around out of habit. "you gotta tell us your game plan, pronto. because if you want us to pull you out of here before the bastard sees you and sets you off on an emotional breakdown, we have to go now. what does this jin guy even look like?"

"fuck what he looks like, we're leaving before we find out," seulgi says firmly, grabbing you by the shoulders and steering you into the kitchen while jisoo trails behind, already rooting around in your purse in search of your phone to call jimin. there wasn't a lot he could do, but if there was anyone who would know what you'd need in this situation it would be him. it was close to midnight so who knows where he could be by now, or how long it would take to track him down in this mansion. just seeing his face would make you feel better. and as if the universe heard you, the three of you turn the corner to see the only face on earth that could make you feel worse.

"hey," you turn at the familiar voice with seulgi and jisoo following suit, your legs threatening to give out under you. seokjin stands behind you, even more handsome than you remember. every feeling you had, every pent up emotion that had been building from the years of ruminating and overthinking frazzled away into a numbness you couldn't explain. seokjin smiles at you, softly and with kind eyes. "fancy seeing you here."

you try to smile back at him. "you look good, oppa."

jin's smile grows oh-so slightly, giving a polite nods to your shell-shocked friends before leaning close to your ear. "can we talk?"

there are very few people in the back of the garden, which is where jin takes you. the bed of roses are a different colour from what you remember, but the grass is the same. the line of trees at the back, the acorns and perfectly maintained fences. there are solar-powered lights lining the pebbled pathway that you and seokjin walk down, where you used to walk down hand in hand years ago. it's the most romantic place in the house, which was why it had been your favourite. you wonder if he remembered that, if that's why he brought you down here. like a final goodbye.

but no, that was not seokjin's intention. instead, he stares down at his pressed shirt or up at the stars, in deep contemplation. there's something about you now that he can't quite place, something that wasn't there when you were together. a calmness, an inner peace. to him you were still the girl that chased feelings of gratification with her head in a sketchbook, but that girl only lived in his memory now. there was a light in your eyes that he wasn't accustomed to.

"you look good," his voice is soft. "really good, ____. happy i mean."

you smile to yourself, thinking of all the wonderful people in your life. "thank you. i am happy," you pause. "and you? are you happy, seokjin? i hope that you are."

he stares at you, waits for even a grain of insincerity to show up but it doesn't. he rubs the back of his neck, thoughtful. "you're still so kind. so good inside. how did you keep that?"

"um, well," you shrug. "if you want me to be a bitch, i can do that too."

he laughs, his teeth shiny and perfect as always. "that'd be easier. but that's not you," he can't stop looking at you, and it's just as impossible to read him now as it was back then. he takes a while to mull over your question, finding it harder to be honest with himself than with you. "i'm not sure if i'm happy. honestly? every time i get close to it i think about what i did to you and..."

you look down. "you don't...we don't have to talk about that."

"ya, are you kidding?" he stops in the path to stare at you. "of course we do." you forgot how tall jin was. his hair is styled differently, away from his forehead so more of his pretty face is on show. he looks so much like his mother. you were never really angry at seokjin for leaving you, just disappointed. and he knew that, which is why he couldn't just let you leave his house without freeing himself of this agonising guilt. "i'm sorry, _____. what i did...it was horrible and wrong and heartless, and i think about it all the time. how much i know it hurt you, how alone you must have felt-"

"i wasn't alone," you stand up straighter at the thought of jimin.

"no i know, i just," seokjin sighs, not used to all this. "i shouldn't have broken up with you. at least, when i did. it was too much for you to handle and-"

"i mean, clearly it wasn't," you fold your arms. "otherwise i wouldn't be standing here, happier than ever. you said it yourself."

and there it is, the thing you had been dreading the second you stepped foot in this house. that look on seokjin's face, his lips together and his eyes regarding you carefully: pity. seokjin pitied you, even though he tried hard to hide it and even though you tried hard to avoid it from happening. it always ended up here, him looking at you like a basket case and you trying to hold back the tears of fury and fear and hurt. "i hear you're close with jeon jungkook now."

you scoff in disbelief. "are you serious? are you fucking serious?" he doesn't respond, because jin never did approve of your swearing. which makes you swear more. "you are fucking off on one if you think i'm going to talk to you about him of all things, jin-"

"you're smarter than that, ____," seokjin steps closer to you, his warm hand resting on your arm. "no one else can say that about you-"

"excuse me?"

"-but i can. because i know you," he finishes, skin perfect under the moonlight. "and you're way too smart for a guy like him."

you pluck his hand from your arm and for the first time you don't feel the need to explain yourself. you don't feel the need to cry or fight your case or claw desperately for a glimmer of approval or even acceptance. you look at seokjin's face, studying it for the last time. maybe if you tried harder you could have been good enough for jin, but you don't want to find out anymore. "please understand that you don't know me. you never did. goodnight, seokjin."

"and where the fuck have you been?" jungkook whirls his head around to seulgi and jisoo, stomping into the spare room. "we're gonna have to put a tracker on you one of these days, jungkookie."

"what's wrong?" he says, already cowering away in case seulgi goes for his ear again.

instead she grabs his chin and turns his head to the window while jisoo points to the garden outside. "that."

and sure enough, there you were. standing down the end of pretty garden path talking to a guy in obnoxiously expensive armani amidst porch lights looking like something out of a romance novel. jungkook doesn't feel anything but the overwhelming desire to turn away, which is what he does before taking another swing of beer. "what about it?"

"that's ____," jisoo continues to point. "talking to seokjin, her ex-boyfriend."

"ex-boyfriend?"

"yeah well," seulgi leans against the window pane with folded arms. "don't look so glum, she didn't tell us until like, a year into living together. she never talked about him because he like, broke her heart beyond repair or whatever," seulgi glances at jungkook. "he dumped her after her folks sent her packing, told her the only reason why they were together was because their parents got along at work and bla bla bla so when she decided to go after creative arts, they had nothing in common anymore. so he dropped her. it was right before ____ met jimin. apparently she was a total wreck."

jungkook sits back, takes his time finishing his beer. it definitely made sense, the way you always skated around the topic of past relationships even during pillow talk. he had just assumed that you wanted to keep all that stuff separate from him, which was probably part of the reason too. still, if what seulgi and jisoo were saying was true, it would mean that his rough-and-tumble self would be the perfect rebound in comparison to prim and proper kim seokjin. the kind of thing that good girls like you get off on. but it's not like jungkook has any right to point fingers, everyone had their pasts. so all he does is burp and open another can of drink after saying, "yikes."

"yikes?" jisoo pokes him. "that's all you have to say? yikes?"

he looks uninterested. "what else do you want me to say?"

"oh i don't know, that maybe you care? or that you'll at least beat him up or something, jungkook-style?"

"she'll be fine," jungkook wets his lips, suddenly desperate for a cigarette. "she has my watch."

you thought that after stumbling into the house and pouring yourself a couple of drinks you would feel better. better as in, numb from everything and pliant enough to be strapped into the backseat of jimin's car or some uber and taken home in one piece within the hour. but that's not how you feel at all. if anything, the talk with seokjin invigorated you beyond reason. suddenly, in the haze of the night and your life and the fucking whirlwind that had been the past few years, everything seemed a lot clearer. you didn't know what was going to happen or where you were gonna end up but you knew what you wanted.

who you wanted.

it takes you a while to track down jungkook, even though it was well into the night and some people had already left, the house was still relatively full. jungkook isn't alone when he sees you teeter into the room. he looks around briefly for seulgi or jisoo or anyone to grab you so he wouldn't have to. jungkook wasn't good at the whole comforting thing, crying girls talking about their dickhead ex-boyfriends not at all part of his skill set. he worked much better a week from now when girls are ready for angry, revenge sex. but then he sees the way you approach him, his watch hanging like a stamp of ownership on your wrist, and jungkook can't take his eyes off you.

"baby?" he coos softly when you sit next to him, no longer paying his friends any attention on the other side of the sofa. half the people in this room were either wasted or high or both, or at least that's what jungkook tells himself when you curl into him, pawing at side. you're not nearly as drunk as you look. nor are you crying, or seething or like anything he's ever seen. the pure lust in your eyes is so palpable he almost feels uncomfortable with other people that aren't him witnessing it.

you kiss the mole under his mouth, soft, chaste. "now?"

"what?" he blinks, surprised at himself for not pulling away from you. that's when jungkook feels your hand on his thigh, palm rubbing further and further inwards. you couldn't have noticed anyone else in the room if you tried. you, the girl who squirms every time he kisses you in private. there was no one else on the planet you could have wanted over than him, and jungkook knew in that second if he didn't leave with you now you'd sit on his lap there and then. and he'd let you.

"please," you stare at his lips, your skin buzzing under his gentle touch while he moves your hair aside. "now. i want you now, jungkook. i don't want anyone else."

"okay," he murmurs, taking your chin and kissing you hard. you're so eager for him you open your mouth almost instantly, jungkook's entire body heating up like wildfire from it. jimin, hoseok, kim fucking seok-whatever, none of it mattered. jungkook doesn't care about the way his friends jeer when he pushes his tongue into your mouth, doesn't care about all the people that are probably looking at him right now. he forcibly pulls himself away, taking you by the hand and lifting you up from the low couch. "okay."

he thought getting you to his truck would be easy enough, but easy is the last thing you are tonight. you kiss him in the hallway, on the stairs. you kiss jungkook's neck and jaw and behind his ear, anywhere you can reach. he's never seen you so wild for him, so relentless and sure of yourself. his resolve shatters when he tries to placate you with a kiss, holding your chin firmly between his thumb and forefinger when he pulls away only for you to tilt your head and take his thumb into your mouth. he groans at the sight, the feeling, the act alone, the way you stare up at him with your big beautiful eyes. you were not leaving this house without having had his cock in you first.

"you're so difficult," he gasps, irritated and painfully horny as he pulls you into the nearest room he can find. it's a bit smaller than the others, and judging by the piles of hangers in the corner and the very modest little desk it appeared to be a coatroom. right next to the main room and the door closest to the top of the hallway, there really wasn't a more high profile place to fuck in but it was empty so that was enough. jungkook uses every last bit of sense he has to turn the lock while simultaneously trying to remain calm under your wandering hands, squeezing and rubbing every part of him you could.

"sorry," you say between pants, letting jungkook twist you with your back to the door while he kisses you harshly. and you genuinely are sorry. it's not at all like you to make a scene like this but you just couldn't wait. it had to be here and it had to be now and it had to be jungkook. he has your wrists pinned either side of you as if punishment for all your groping, his hips pinning yours still as well. you can feel his bulge against you, the heat of his palms against your veins. jungkook nips at your lip, not giving you a chance to catch your breath, before he's leaning back in for more.

you moan in euphoria when he lets go of your wrists to grab your waist, his teeth against the most sensitive part of your neck. his lips stay attached there as he pulls you to the little clerk table, easily lifting you onto it's edge while he unzips the back of your dress. but it's slightly fitted, and you'd rather die than waste a few precious minutes taking it off. so you give jungkook a long, pleading kiss before turning with your back to his chest, bending yourself over the lip of the table. "fuck me like this."

he groans, because he prefers to look at your face during the act, but he also knows what you're like when you want him from behind. greedy and insatiable. but you're being so good for him, rubbing your ass into his crotch as if to ask for permission. like he could never deny you. so jungkook takes you by the waist, pushing your hair to one side so he can fold his lips over your neck permanently. he slips his hands underneath the skirt of your dress, shaky fingers feeling for the band of your panties before sliding them down. he leaves them above your knees but you won't have it, kicking them off completely to stand with your knees further apart while you arch forward for him. jungkook's chest is heaving when he scoops the garment off the floor, stuffing it into his back pocket for safe keeping.

"please please please," you chant, bending over as far as the table will allow, arching yourself as much as your spine permits.

jungkook swears loudly when he touches you. you've never been this wet before, so swollen and fucking ready for him. your copious amount of slick coats the back of your ass and thighs, staining the front of his now-untucked shirt and pants too. he knows that you're good and wet but jungkook can't help himself from slipping his fingers inside you, two quickly and easily becoming three. your cry is guttural he almost wonders if it's you. he barely has to move, only gently spreading his fingers before you're practically crying for more. if he lifts your skirt up, he can see how easily the digits disappear inside you. he's so hard it hurts.

"please, kook-ah," you're on the verge of tears, face crumpled and eyes watering while bucking back against his hand. "jungkook, i can't...i can't wait. please."

"shh, okay," he hushes you gently, kissing up the side of your neck. it's agony for both of you when he withdraws his fingers, but thankfully jungkook is nimble with his belt buckle and jeans, shoving his cock against your wetness before he can think straight. the sensation makes the pair of you writhe, and it's only when he looks down to see his bare cock rubbing through your slit does he jump back with alarm. "baby, fuck i...i don't have..."

"it's okay," you say it so quickly his head spins. you push back, seeking contact, coaxing him. "i want to feel you anyway."

"but," he stammers, sweating so much his hair is starting to dampen on his forehead. jungkook refused to fuck unprotected. it was against his self-imposed rule, the only one that was still standing when it came to you, but all he could think about was how badly he wanted to be inside you and how badly you wanted the same thing. he had never, ever fucked raw before and it felt like a decision that shouldn't be made haphazardly in a coatroom with you bent over in front of him.

"kookie," you snap him out of his trance by turning over your shoulder uncomfortably to kiss him, gently and with care to remind him who he's with. remind him that you're not going anywhere. his lips are so soft, so pliant for you. jungkook leans his forehead against your hair and groans when he realises that his cock has navigated itself back to the opening of your pussy, as if making the decision for him. "i don't want anyone else's cum in me. only yours."

"fuck, you're killing me," jungkook whines, leaning into you with defeat. he breathes you in, the smell of your shampoo and perfume, feels you ground him with your hand laying over his that is currently holding you at the waist.

it's like you take that step forward together, the gentle push of jungkook's bare tip inside you. you practically vibrate with desire, jungkook's teeth sinking into your exposed shoulder as he wills himself to stay in the moment. slowly, slowly he slides in until he's sheathed inside your silken walls, hot and tight and more perfect than he could have ever dreamed. jungkook's legs shake with the intensity of pleasure, his hold on you the only thing keeping him up. you're a mess in front of him, chest heaving and ass digging back into him in a desperate attempt to get him to move, all the while whining pathetically. so jungkook draws out, shoves his cock back in roughly so you don't expect it. the feeling is visceral, the pleasure unbearable. jungkook fucks you hard, nice and deep which is why you favoured this position. every thrust is stronger than the one before it, his balls slapping into your clit in a ricochet of pleasure. his rhythm is perfect, his cock, his angle, everything. the old table knocks against the wall with every passing minute, some coats slipping from their hangers from the way it vibrates through the little room.

jungkook flips your skirt up, the carnal desire to watch himself disappear into your pussy unlike anything he's ever felt. for once, you cannot silence your moans, no pillows or comforters to muffle the sounds. people are filing out of the house just outside the door, saying their goodbyes or maybe trying to find an empty room too. with the rhythmic banging and your unabashed cries of pleasure, there was no doubt everyone knew. an idea that would usually be lost on jungkook exhilarates him now. they all saw who you came in here with, who's fingers you had in your mouth. his thrusts unconsciously become rougher, your ass slapping wetly into his stomach with every stroke of his cock. it's more than enough to undo you, the gush of wetness from you coupled with your erotic mewls of pleasure causing jungkook's hips to stutter with excitement. he's so focused on fucking into you that the helpful thrust of your ass catches him by surprise, his vision going blurry as his orgasm begins to wash over him. although dripping with sweat, jungkook fucks himself through his climax as hard as he can manage, spilling into you with a low groan of bliss that's so loud he surprises himself. he can hear you hum in encouragement, your eyes closing happily at the feeling of his hot seed filling you. it's more than normal, causing jungkook to hiss at the sheer visual. cum was dribbling down your inner thigh, the squelch of it making you moan all over again. when his cock slips out, a rush of his cum follows, causing the pair of you to swear from the unexpected enjoyment of it all. sweat drips down jungkook's temple, his mouth dry as stares at your messy pussy while his fingers automatically start shovelling his cream back inside you. the sensation makes only ignites your second wave of pleasure even further, your ass arching for him all over again.

"i think i died," jungkook admits quietly, fingers still covered in the evidence of your coupling when you turn to kiss him with a smile. "that was so good, i think i. i think i fucking clocked out..."

"well clock back in," you say between deep breaths, fixing your skirt back down and smoothing out jungkook's shirt while he tucks his sticky self back into his pants. "because you have to drive us home and then keep doing that to me all night. okay?"

all jungkook can do is nod happily.

#jungkook x reader #jungkook x you #jungkook au #bts x reader #bts scenario #jungkook scenario #bts au #jimin x reader #jimin x you #bts fic #jungkook fic #jimin fic #jungkook college au #jimin college au #bts college au #myfic

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liannyeong · 4 years

Text

Things just work out (in the end)

Summary: Two close friends who decided to marry each other if they’re still single at the age of 30. What can happen, right?

Word count: 3181

Pairing: Jaebeom X OC

Warning(s): Fluff, Just a pinch of angst

A/N: Yay a new fic! And finally, I have gotten used to spelling Jaebeom’s name correctly. This idea is totally cliche lol but well, I just had to write it when ideas started popping in my head. Originally, I had other plans for this plot but I decided to condense it into just a short fic lol. I actually aimed for a 2k word count but well, I always end up writing more whoops ~

Long-time friends, that's what they really are, Not the best of friends but they're close enough to lean on each other and share about their problems. For example, failed relationships. None of their relationships ever last a year. Their friends wonder why, but not even they know the answer to the problem. In the end, they're labelled as the curse in any romantic relationship.

"You know," Jaebeom starts, after a night out with their mutual friends. He had just dropped off their friends who lived along the way, and is now left with her as always. They live the closest to each other anyway. "I'd say we should make a deal."

"A deal?" she echoes.

"Yeah. Let's get married if we're both single by the age of 30."

She snorts. "That's 5 years from now!"

Jaebeom shrugs. "Anything can happen in 5 years."

She keeps quiet, thinking it over before she speaks. "And if we're still single?"

"We marry," Jaebeom says so offhandedly, as if it's nothing serious.

She has a brow raised. "Just like that?"

"Yeah, why not?" Jaebeom retorts. "Nobody seems to want us. And even if they do, it never last more than a year. So why not we skip the basics and get married?"

She bursts out laughing. "You're mad," she says disapprovingly.

"Well, just think about it," Jaebeom insists. "I don't think we've got anything to lose. After all, how bad can it be if there are two 'cursed ones' in a relationship?"

---

ii.

Surprisingly, she agrees. In the year they both turn 30, they hold a small wedding. Then, she moves into Jaebeom's apartment because it is larger. As the months go on, nothing seems to change -- only that Jaebeom has become more gentlemanly towards her. Perhaps being married to someone, having another person to take care of has made him kinder, she doesn't really know. What she knows is that she doesn't hate it. It actually feels nice to have someone to be with at the end of the day. Jaebeom has been a spectacular husband: he listens to her rants about anything, helps her cook dinner. It has been really great.

But sometimes, she can't tell the difference between Jaebeom being chivalrous or... well... having feelings for her? It sounds as if she's too full of herself to think about it, but how can she not when he does things that are questionable?

For example, in one breezy day, Jaebeom took off his jacket just to tie it around her waist when she was wearing a dress that touched just above her knee.

"In case there are any perverts lurking around," he had said dismissively.

Or the few times when he noticed her shivering from the coldness of the air. Be it the air-conditioner of their car or the chilly air anywhere else, Jaebeom would drape his jacket over her body silently, and focus back on whatever he was doing.

Or that one time when they were stranded in the rain with no umbrella. The man threw his precious leather jacket over their heads, then pulled her by the waist with one hand as he led them across the street.

It doesn't seem anything, really. But that last incident is the last straw. Jaebeom has never held her without her permission. He has always made sure not to do anything physical to her, if she doesn't consent to it. The other part of her mind argues that it was just a one-time thing. She can't really comment much on it, can she?

The easiest way to figure this out is to ask him directly. But god, wouldn't it make her look like fool? Imagine Jaebeom saying that "No, I don't have feelings for you. What made you even think that?" Or "We married because of our promise, nothing else." Ugh, this seems like an unnecessary stress on her mind.

One thing's for sure though: even if Jaebeom doesn't harbour any feelings for her, the things he do certainly has an effect on her... She wonders what kind of feeling this is...

---

iii.

Jaebeom is an aspiring singer-songwriter. He has put his works out there to the world through his Soundcloud, which landed him a stable job at a local music company. She knows he's well-known in the music industry -- he's always got big projects to do, producing songs for popular idol groups out there. It's fascinating. Having known him for years, seeing him slowly gaining the recognition he deserves makes her happy.

But with bigger projects to tackle, that means longer working hours. And he will certainly bring his work home. It's frequent that Yugyeom, Jaebeom's partner, comes over to their shared apartment to continue with their projects. Usually, she would hear the same damn beat played a million times across the house. Today, it's more quiet. Perhaps, they're sourcing for inspiration? she wonders to herself. Well, it's not as if she minds the quiet ambience.

She heads to Jaebeom's room-slash-studio to call him for dinner but as she raises her hand to knock, she hears Yugyeom saying, "Hyung, you should tell her you like her--"

She freezes.

"Shut the hell up, Yugyeom. These walls are thin!" Jaebeom hisses.

"But hyung--"

"Drop it, Gyeom-ah. We're not talking about this now," Jaebeom cuts.

Her mind reeling. Jaebeom has someone he likes...? What...?

She totally misses out the footsteps on the other side, until the door swings open suddenly. She jolts in surprise, her hand still raised up.

Jaebeom is looking at her, wide-eyed, as if caught doing a heinous act.

"How long have you been standing here?" he asks after clearing his throat and his face from any expression.

"Just. I was about to knock your door but you opened it," she lies smoothly. "Dinner's ready."

"Great! I'm hungry!" Yugyeom exclaims as he jumps out of his seat and brushes past the two of them like an excited puppy. He heads to the kitchen by himself, leaving the married couple in the hallway.

Jaebeom's voice is soft and cautious as he asks, "Did you hear anything?"

She blinks up at him, trying her best to put on a blank expression. "No? Was I supposed to hear something?"

Jaebeom actually flushes. "N-no. It's great you didn't hear anything," he mumbles.

She nods, eyeing the man. "Let's eat."

---

iv.

Jaebeom always lets her listen to his finished work before its official release to the public. One particular song is about wanting to get closer to another, but they can't because of certain circumstances. Another is about loving a person from afar. It bears a resemblance to Jaebeom's situation, if her thoughts are correct. And her curiosity only gets bigger.

"Your songs... It sounds real," she tries to start the topic in mind. "Do you... possibly... have feelings for someone?"

Jaebeom swivels his chair to look at her in surprise. He looks caught.

She lets out a gasp. She sputters, "You-- Wait, who is she-- Oh, wait, no--" She halts herself when her mind clicks. "Why did you agree to this marriage thing if you have someone you like?! Oh god-- What have I done??" she panics.

"Hey, relax," Jaebeom's calm voice cuts her panic. "It's nothing, don't worry."

"Don't worry?!" she repeats in anger. "How can I not worry?! You're-- Oh god, you could have been with the person you like right now, if not for this--" she gestures the space between them, "thing between us!" She buries her face into her hands, mumbling to herself, "What have I done..."

Jaebeom crouches before her, hands closing around her wrists delicately to pull them away from her face. He brushes her cheek with a knuckle, smiling softly. "It's fine, really. It's no big deal."

"How are you so calm about this?"

"It's because I don't regret anything."

"You don't regret anything?" she echoes his words. "Not even this marriage agreement between us?"

Jaebeom's smile falls just a little. There's a certain warmth in his gaze, a gentle expression on his face. It's one that she has never seen before. Well, not directed to her at the very least. "I don't."

"Why?"

"Because," he starts slowly, "you have been a great partner so far. I don't have any complaints about you."

She frowns, feeling that something is amiss. "There's something you're not telling me."

Jaebeom blinks. Then his shoulders slump. He settles on the floor, sitting cross-legged in front of her.

"You're right. There is something I haven't told you," he admits. He lets out a sigh. "But how can I, when I might risk losing everything I have?"

"What's going on--"

Jaebeom looks at her dead in the eye.

"I like you," he confesses.

She draws a deep breath.

"I don't know when it began. But after the wedding, after a few months into this marriage arrangement, I guess I developed a soft spot for you. Which gradually became real feelings. Perhaps the feelings have always been there, I don't know, but I only realized it through this marriage."

"I--" she gapes her mouth like a fish. "I thought you-- I thought you like someone else!"

Jaebeom shakes his head. "I don't. I like you."

She gasps.

"I--" Jaebeom reaches forward but she immediately rises, backing away. The man looks hurt but she can't wrap her mind around this new revelation.

"I'm sorry I need time to process this," she says hastily before striding out of his room.

---

Jaebeom seems to understand her position, so he minimizes any interaction or encounter between them. After all, she's still a little confused. It's not easy to accept the fact that Jaebeom has fallen for her when all they've ever been was close friends. Sure, she may have liked the chivalrous way Jaebeom treated her, but she doesn't think it's any indicator that she may harbour the same feelings toward her.

Anyway, Jaebeom doesn't been home for days. She doesn't even know how he's been. Is he eating alright? Is he stressed? Is he okay? She knows it's her fault -- it was her reaction to his confession that made them like this. Still, she can't help the uneasiness in her heart when Jaebeom disappears for days.

So when the man comes home in the wee hours of the night, she feels her heart pound. He looks so tired, so ragged, like a homeless person. He looks like his life got sucked out of his body.

"Jaebeom--" she calls softly.

He slowly turns, his eyes are heavy, dark circles and eye bags underneath. "Did I wake you? Sorry about that... Well, good night." He drags himself into his room and the door clicks shut.

She stands alone in the doorway of her own room. He looks horrible... She wonders if she could cheer him up. She realizes she actually misses his company. The way he would always be there for her at the end of a long day. The way he would listen to her attentively as she rants her heart out. When has she ever done the same for him? She reckons she has never.

With new determination, she pads over to his room silently, then sneaks in. Jaebeom is already fast asleep, not having changed out of his clothes. He's sprawled out on the bed, and she slowly makes her way to him. The bed dips under her weight, then she rests her head on his arm, snuggling close to him.

"Wha--?" he mumbles groggily, looking over at her.

She only shushes him, curling an arm around his waist as she joins him to sleep.

---

vi.

When she wakes, Jaebeom is still passed out. But his body is turned towards her, his breathing soft and slow. She's still got her head pillowed on his arm. Her eyes wander his face, from the two brows to the twin moles above his left eye, down to the two closed slits and to his round nose, until--

His lips, crafted perfectly like a cupid's bow. The soft pinkish color. She wonders what it feels like to kiss him.

Wait.

What?

K-kiss Jaebeom?

She jolts up, suddenly very awake. She glances back at Jaebeom and her eyes automatically lands on his lips again. Her heart pounds in her ears. Oh my god.

She stomps out, into the safe haven of her own room, her heart beating fast.

No way.

Does she actually like Jaebeom???

---

vii.

Things are still awkward between the two of them. She doesn't mention about the night she slept over at his room. Neither did Jaebeom. It's probably best to leave it for now. She wouldn't know how to face him when she's been having weird feelings since then.

Speaking of which, her mind is plagued with thoughts of Jaebeom and her newfound feelings. She has been trying to rationalize her emotions, but now, she wonders if she's in denial.

What's so bad about liking Jaebeom, anyway? she ponders. He has been a great husband. Hell, she hasn't felt this comfortable with any man before! Comparing to all the boys she has ever dated, she must admit that Jaebeom is the best among them. But wait, Jaebeom and her are not considered as dating, right? If Jaebeom is already this good, what more a real dating relationship? Or even better, a real marriage?

She blushes furiously, raising a hand to cover her face. At the same time, she accidentally knocks over a hot pot, letting out a yelp of pain. The first thing her body does is to put her hand under the running tap water. As she lets the burn cool, she looks over at the kitchen floor. The contents of the pot have spilled all over the tiled floor. She sighs. She shouldn't be this distracted while cooking.

The man who plagued her thoughts emerges from his room haphazardly, his face painted with worry. He glances over the floor before going back to her, especially on her hand.

"I'll grab the first aid kit," Jaebeom says. He comes back, calling her over with a hand held out for her to grab. He then leads her to the couch in the living room, sitting her down and opening the kit. He takes the seat next to her, their knees knocking.

Jaebeom helps to apply a burn cream onto her hand. She will never admit this, but his touch is more scalding than the heat of the pot. She flushes.

"What happened?" he asks gently as he rolls a bandage around her hand.

"I just--" She makes the mistake of looking up. She realizes how close they are. Jaebeom's face is just a few inches away. She can hear his soft breathing. She can even count his lashes. Embarrassed, she averts her eyes, mumbling, "I got distracted, that's all."

"You should be more careful," Jaebeom says, closing the kit and putting it away afterwards. "Just rest, okay? I'll clean the kitchen. We can just order in today."

She nods. Jaebeom heads to the kitchen and starts to clear the spill on the floor. She watches as he picks the soggy vegetables and dispose it into the bin. She slumps in her seat. All she wanted was to cook a simple soup for dinner. Now, Jaebeom who is busy has to clean the mess she made. She feels sorry.

So she turns on her phone and places an order on Jaebeom's favorite from his favorite restaurant.

---

viii.

After coming to terms with her own self, she decides that it's time for them to settle this awkwardness between them.

She knocks onto Jaebeom's door and the man lets her in. He looks a little worried, a little uncertain about what's happening.

"It's about us," she begins once she settled comfortably on his bed.

"Oh," he lets out.

"Look, I-- Um--" she stutters. She breathes out then starts again, "When you confessed to me, I just... I didn't know what to make sense of it. So I'm sorry with how I behaved afterwards. I just didn't know how to deal with it."

"It's fine, I understand," Jaebeom says softly.

"But I just can't stop thinking about it," she adds.

Jaebeom leans forward now, quick to assure her. "Hey, look... If you're uncomfortable living with me, I can move out. We can just sign the divorce papers. It's not a big deal."

She shakes her head. "It is a big deal--! I just--"

The man smiles weakly. "You don't have to force yourself to live with me. I'm not hurt if you don't return my feelings. I understand really. I have made you uncomfortable--"

"No, Jaebeom!!" she nearly shrieks. "What I mean to say is-- I think I-- I think I like you too..." Heat rises in her cheeks and she knows without doubt that her face is as red as a tomato.

Jaebeom stares blankly at her, stupefied.

"I've been thinking a lot about it," she continues. "Back then, I thought... It isn't a bad idea to marry you. But now..." Embarrassed, she's staring at her lap, afraid to look at Jaebeom's face. "I want you. And I want to spend the rest of my life with you," she confesses.

Jaebeom moves forward, kneeling on the floor, a hand gently cupping her left cheek.

"Do you really mean that?"

She nods, blushing.

Jaebeom smiles, his eyes forming crescents. "Spending my life with you, I'd love that."

She looks at him, face gleaming with happiness. Her eyes accidentally look down to his lips and she turns redder. She looks away quickly, abashed.

Jaebeom must have noticed this as he follows her face, peering at her. His hand is still pressed against her cheek. "Can I kiss you?" he asks softly.

She gulps. What does it feel like? her mind wonders. She tilts her chin up, a silent agreement. She watches as Jaebeom moves closer and shuts her eyes when he's just a breath away. Their lips gently brush against each other, and it already feels otherworldly. The moment their lips connect... God, it feels so good. She feels how plump and soft his lips are. And god, the way he rolls his lips against hers... It's electric.

She swears that is the best kiss she has ever had. Reluctantly, they pull apart for air, both their chests heaving. Jaebeom doesn't move away though, he presses their foreheads together. Her eyes feel heavy as she opens them. Jaebeom is already staring back, as if he couldn't believe that they kissed.

"Is this real?" he whispers.

"Yes, it is," she answers before lunging forward. Jaebeom topples backwards, his head hitting the floor with a thud. She worries, but the man laughs it off, giddy with happiness, so she can't help but smile along. She leans down, pressing a quick kiss onto his lips. Jaebeom stares up at her fondly, tucking her hair behind her ear. That hand cups her neck, and he directs her for another kiss. His other arm tightens around her waist, pinning her close. They kiss like teenagers, when chemicals are high.

#im jaebeom #im jaebeom scenarios #got7 #got7 im jaebeom scenarios #jaebeom scenarios #got7 im jaebeom #got7 jaebeom #jaebeom #got7 scenarios #got7 jaebeom scenarios

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myherowritings · 5 years

Text

masterlist

SOCIAL MEDIA AU MASTERLIST

HAIKYUU!! MASTERLIST

TODOROKI SHOUTO

i. animal instincts

with your shapeshifting quirk, you take on the duty of becoming the resident undercover therapy cat for class 1-a. one day, you see todoroki restless in the middle of the night and try to comfort him in cat form. but what happens when he confides in you his feelings you weren’t meant to hear?

ii. into your arms

you’re prone to tripping and todoroki is prone to being there to catch you. or, in which you’re a bit of a klutz and, for a reason he can’t explain, shouto wants to make sure you never get hurt.

iii. an otome addiction

you become obsessed with the characters in the otome game, mystic messenger, and your boyfriend todoroki gets a little bit jealous.

iv. strawberry scented dreams

the 3 times todoroki falls asleep on you + the 1 time you fall asleep on him. shouto is always sleepy and needs some rest, and your shoulder just happens to be the comfiest place to get it.

v. can you keep a secret?

you and shouto are secretly dating and none of your classmates know. during a study session in todoroki’s dorm, kaminari, sero, and midoriya find your lacy thong under shouto’s desk and try to figure out whose it is.

vi. frosting fights

midoriya has been feeling sad lately, so you and todoroki (try to) bake him a cake in the middle of the night.

vii. the panty thief

modern au. “my cat steals underwear and i come home to find you chasing my cat to get your underwear back.” in which todoroki is a new cat parent and you’re his new neighbor whose panties keep disappearing.

viii. overheated

it’s super hot out and you feel like you’re dizzy and about to faint. todoroki is there to cool you off with his right side.

ix. jealousy for dummies

jealous of all the time shouto has been spending with yaoyorozu, you hatch up a plan with bakugou to give todoroki a taste of his own medicine.

x. ghostwriter masterlist [smau]

college au. you’re an aspiring writer with a longtime crush on the ghost hunter on campus, todoroki shouto. when you two are paired up for a semester-long journalism project, you come up with the perfect, foolproof plan to get him to fall for you.

xi. hearts intertwined

roommate au. you and todoroki have been roommates for months now but have barely had more than a two minute conversation. when quarantine hits and everyone is on lockdown, you find yourself forced to spend more time with him and actually end up…enjoying it?

xii. fictional crush

class 1-a has an avatar: the last airbender marathon and you can’t help but swoon over your fictional crush, prince zuko, leaving todoroki feeling a little jealous.

xiii. letters of my love [smau]

tatbilb au. you and your friends mail out your past love letters because you want to see your old crushes’ reactions. on accident, you mail your current crush’s letter. to make it seem like your crush on bakugou is gone, you fake date another letter recipient, todoroki shouto.

xiv. eat the rich [series]

ceo/barista au. todoroki shouto was a wealthy, young ceo who inherited his father’s enterprise. you were a barista at a local cafe who wouldn’t mind some extra cash. one day, shouto came in during an early morning shift and tipped you such a large sum of money, you were certain it had to have been an accident. to your surprise and complete pleasure: it was not.

BAKUGOU KATSUKI

i. one hell of a knockout

boxer au. bakugou is a young pro boxer climbing his way to the top of the charts. one day, his friends kirishima and ashido invite you to a match. unbeknownst to you, you end up accidentally distracting katsuki during a fight and he gets a punch landed on his face.

ii. take you out

you ask bakugou out on a picnic date to the park, but he thinks you’re challenging him to a fight. you can’t tell who is more confused when the day finally comes.

iii. kitty kisses

your boyfriend and your cat don’t get along. bakugou keeps trying to come up with different ways to get your cat to finally warm up to him. (or, in which katsuki spends 3 hours baking treats for a tsundere cat.)

iv. “you’re hot when you’re angry”

you and bakugou get into a disagreement, you get pinned underneath him, and he smirks and realizes just how hot you are when you’re pissed.

v. a soothing touch

pro hero au. katsuki is sore and stressed from a long day at work but is too stubborn to let you give him a massage.

vi. “she’s my wife”

pro hero au. when bakugou forgets his lunch in the refrigerator, you decide to deliver it to him at his agency. but when you’re there, the new receptionist calls you a bitch. bakugou responds appropriately.

vii. cold shoulder

pro hero au. whenever you and bakugou get into a disagreement, he blasts the air conditioner until you have no choice but to ask him to cuddle.

viii. the appreciation post

pro hero au. one of the responsibilities of being a pro hero in this day and age is having a social media presence. you tag bakugou in an appreciation post while he’s out in public and he gets embarrassed in the best way possible.

ix. slip of the tongue

pro hero au. during a charity interview with the top three heroes, deku and shouto “accidentally” give away ground zero’s crush on you. you’re asked about bakugou in an interview of your own and, during a fit of excitement, accidentally let your crush on him slip.

x. the jealous type | fanart

class 1-a has a game night in the common room. bakugou sees you and todoroki getting too close for comfort and can’t stop himself from getting jealous.

xi. a forgotten anniversary

pro hero au. it yours and bakugou’s one year anniversary, but he’s so busy with hero work that he forgets. you’re hurt and upset, but katsuki may have a few tricks up his sleeve…

xii. shirt on, bra off

aged up au. bakugou sees you take off your bra, one-handed, and he can’t help but be in a bit of awe.

xiii. bear hugs

you see your childhood friend, bakugou, for the first time in years and you greet him with a giant bear hug...only to find yourself in the nurse’s office right after.

xiv. call me b-a-b-y

bakugou absolutely hates when you call him pet names. he hates the smile on your face when you say it, hates the way he can’t stop blushing-- he hates it. right?

xv. fever talk | fanart

pro hero au. “side effects may include: light-headedness, disorientation, and accidental confessions of love.” you help nurse a fever-ridden ground zero back to health, but little did you know it should have come with a warning.

xvi. the language of flowers

you decide to make the most of your nature quirk by giving your crush, bakugou, endless bouquets of flowers.

xvii. fact or fiction? [18+]

pro hero au. ground zero’s crush on you has become painfully obvious to everyone, leading to an incessant amount of shipping. one day, he gets himself off to one of the many lewd stories about the two of you and you find out.

xviii. paparazzi

pro hero au. you and ground zero go on your first date as a public couple and the paparazzi won’t stop harassing the two of you. bakugou decides to take you to his house to cook for you and things begin to heat up in the kitchen.

xix. number neighbor masterlist [smau]

college au. in which bakugou katsuki is a grumpy and sarcastic college student just trying to get his degree and you are his bubbly number neighbor who is determined to become his new “bestie.”

xx. all that ass [nn scenario] | fanart

a number neighbor bonus fic. one night at the gym, you see a handsome guy with so much ass, you take a picture on the sly and send it to your number neighbor, bakugou, to freak out over. but what you don’t expect is for bakugou to reply with a picture of you from the same gym.

xxi. honey, honey

pro hero au. ground zero, deku, and shouto are scheduled to have a meet-and-greet at a primary school to boost their rankings. there, bakugou unexpectedly meets a kindergarten teacher with a sweet smile who likes to call people honey.

xxii. under my patrol

pro hero au. after seeing your boyfriend cheat on you on a night you were supposed to be on a date, you mope alone at a bar. stumbling home, you crash into the famous hero, ground zero.

xxiii. found a treasure

modern au. “it’s nice that your voice was the first thing i heard today.”

xxiv. mistletoe kiss

holiday au. after a few weeks of dating, you and katsuki still haven’t kissed. you hope that will change under the mistletoe this holiday season.

KIRISHIMA EIJIROU

i. the pizza delivery guy

modern au. your roommate orders a pizza with the special instructions, “send your cutest delivery boy ;)” and you’re left in begrudging awe when it actually works.

SHINSOU HITOSHI

i. you suck at gaming masterlist [smau]

youtuber au. you’re a youtuber known for your chaotic yet wholesome content and shinsou is a gamer who keeps getting accused of being an eboy. one day you upload a video trying your hand at gaming and shinsou tweets out about how much you suck.

ii. borrowed sweaters, stolen kisses

aged up. in a game of truth or dare, you’re dared to sneak into your crush’s dorm and steal one article of clothing to wear the next day. it just so happens that the hoodie you snatched was shinsou’s favorite sweater.

iii. turn on your airdrop masterlist [smau]

modern au. you’re at a theme park when kaminari dares you to airdrop memes to the first device that pops up and reluctantly, you give in. but never would you have thought they’d send you memes back… nor could you have guessed the person you were feeling a meme-connection with was your first love and first heartbreak, shinsou hitoshi.

iv. maybe it’s fate [toya pt. 25]

a turn on your airdrop written chapter. after discovering the mememate you fell in love with was your ex-boyfriend who broke your heart, you find yourself alone in a bar with a dead phone in a poor attempt to cope. the person who helps you at 3 a.m. is the last person you want to see.

KAMINARI DENKI

i. play me a song [smau]

youtube/celeb au. you’re an actress and singer who is highly adored by youtuber, kaminari denki. after his endless simping and thirsting on twitter, you finally decide to reply to one of his tweets.

TODODEKU

i. pinky promise

a quirk sends todoroki back in time and there he sees a four year old midoriya crying in the park. what better way to cheer him up than with some strawberry ice cream?

HEADCANONS

HC: bakugou meets his s/o’s unsupportive parents

HC: pro hero shouto meets his quirkless s/o working at a hospital

HC: todoroki absolutely does not get along with his s/o’s male best friend

HC: shouto takes care of sore s/o

HC: bakugo + kirishima get a surprise kiss from s/o

HC: todoroki and s/o bake brownies and things get a little messy

HC: todoroki and s/o go to hanami (flower viewing)

HC: s/o peppers kisses all over todoroki’s face + he turns bright red

HC: todoroki and s/o have your first date at the aquarium

HC: iida + midoriya + todoroki react to their s/o whose nose twitches when cold/concentrated

HC: sleep deprived s/o with todoroki + bakugou

HC: getting high with kirishima + bakugou + todoroki [18+]

HC: baku + kiri + todo react to s/o being catcalled

HC: you’re harassed by a stranger and, to make them stop, you grab your friend [shouto + katsuki] and give him a kiss to prove he’s your boyfriend

HC: boyfriend!denki headcanons

HC: how baku + todo + kami kiss their s/o and what they taste like

HC: bakugou + todoroki cuddling headcanons

HC: bakugou + todoroki react to their s/o squeezing their butt

HC: bakugou + todoroki find their crushes diary and accidentally read it

HC: bnha as fuckboys (kami + todo + kiri + shin)

HC: autumn with todo + baku + kiri

HC: valentine’s day with baku + todo + shin

HC: shin + todo + baku replying to flirty anons

FAKE TEXTS

FT: prank texts on your crush todoroki

#masterlist #bnha fanfiction #bnha x reader #todoroki x reader #bakugou x reader #midoriya x todoroki #myherowritings #todoroki shouto #todoroki shouto x reader #x reader #bakugou katsuki x reader #bnha imagines

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veiledpeaches · 4 years

Text

chance encounters | part i: what secrets we keep

Summary: Between pages of meddling friends and societal expectations, all she actually wants is to find a happily ever after with Doyoung, even if it feels like that is no longer possible.

part i x part ii x part iii x part iv x part v x part vi

word count: 3k

thank you @seasonblues, you’re an inspiration to me.

She has just clocked into the office when she spots Doyoung at his desk, typing away furiously at his screen. This morning he has the blinds around his office up, such that anyone entering the office can see the faint glow of the computer screen reflected on Doyoung’s countenance. She guesses that he would be leaving the office earlier today, since he’s dressed a bit more casually, electing for his fringe to fall loosely onto the tip of his eyebrows instead of its usual comma hairstyle, his pressed white button-down free of its tie. His lips are moving, presumably mouthing the words presented on his screen while his eyebrows are slightly furrowed in thought.

As she gets to her desk, she lets her leather satchel, plump with files, fall onto her chair before walking towards the Managing Editor’s office.

“Haewon!” Doyoung’s face lights up as he meets her gaze, a childish and toothy grin forming on his face as he takes the cup of coffee from her. “I have excellent news for you.”

“Morning boss,” she laughs, “aren’t you leaving tomorrow? I thought you were on leave today.”

Doyoung hums dismissively, taking a sip of his coffee. “They like it, the Evergreen winner. They liked his work.”

The Evergreen Writers’ Competition was a local youth creative writing competition that was also a popular event that publishers looked into to discover aspiring and potential young writers. Haewon had been promoting the recent winner’s work to Doyoung relentlessly for the past few weeks. Even though Doyoung had been generally unconvinced of the commercial potential of the novel, he had submitted her proposal of it to Headquarters for their consideration under Haewon’s ceaseless endorsement.

“They’re publishing it?” Haewon presses her hands together with glee, “They liked it?”

“They liked it so much they want me to bring both the original and revised manuscript when I leave tomorrow. Oh, I’ll need the cover artwork too. They’re planning on translating and pushing it out to the American audience.” Doyoung smiles knowingly.

“I told you it was good!”

There is a hint of a smile at Doyoung’s lips, “I have to admit I couldn’t put it down the whole time, and I haven’t been able to stop thinking about it. But-” he pauses, “you need to admit the writing isn’t spectacular. The emotions are too raw, and his diction is unrefined-”

“These are things we can change with copyediting boss,” Haewon emphasizes, “with proofreading. We can make it better. But the world building is immaculate. It’s an incredible piece of work for a seventeen-year-old.”

Doyoung narrows his eyes, a smirk peeking from his lips. “Are you sure this has nothing to do with the way he looks?”

“Boss!” Haewon is scandalized, “he’s seventeen!”

“When I googled about him, I knew at once why Marketing said he would be good for press,” he laughs. “He looks more like he should be scoring on a game or scoring dates than scoring at a budding writers’ competition.”

While Doyoung has maintained a more professional relationship with her through the three years she has worked as his assistant, there are moments like these where Doyoung’s cheeky side slips through the cracks, reminding her of why she was so drawn to him from the very start. How effortless his humor is, how playful he actually is. The small crinkles that form at the corner of his eyes when his face breaks into a laugh. How wide his eyes get and how dramatic his gestures become when he’s talking about things he loves outside of work, like a drama he’d just started on, or the current political climate. The way he bends over her desk to explain to her about target readership in different export markets. And more than that. How much he loves reading, and his job, even on days he can’t agree with the directors. How he throws a disdainful expression at her when he overhears colleagues making sexist comments. How he tells her he’s trying to become a better listener, whether people need that or not. How convinced he is of his rightness and proud he is of his work, but not in the least satisfied with it. How attentive he is to every detail, whether it’s about Accounting’s expenditure records or about how her eyes remain a bit watery for the rest of the day after she receives a call from her mother.

Haewon rolls her eyes, but her smile is unwavering. “I’ll go prepare the documents you need now, boss.”

He nods and turns to his phone in his hand, and she’s about to turn and exit his office, when he speaks again, this time gentler, “oh by the way, Inhee told me you haven’t RSVP’d yet.”

He looks up from his phone, and then back at it again, his smile uneasy – a classic Doyoung gesture when he needed to ask about something he didn’t really want to. As if he needed to check his guest list again. “Would you be busy that day? I don’t recall you telling me you had to be out of town.”

She’s about to speak, when a breathless Lee Donghyuck appears out of the blue, rushing to Doyoung and sighing emphatically about this month’s sales numbers. She smiles and nods, exiting his office with a promise of talking later.

It’s just after lunch and well into Haewon’s food coma when her desk phone rings, startling her from a well-deserved but secret post-lunch doze.

“Dam-il Publishing, this is Haewon speaking.”

“Haewon!” The excited whisper is characteristic only of Nakamoto Yuta, whose wide-eyed gaze Haewon meets as she averts her eyes towards the Designers side of the office. “It’s me, it’s me!”

“Oh Yuta, that reminds me, I’ll need the proposed artwork for Cho Young Jun’s novel.”

“Cho Young Jun? The bald guy?”

“No! The prodigy! The Evergreen winner! I need it by today, Doyoung’s flying to New York tomorrow-”

“Oh, I’ve completed that weeks ago, I’ll email it over later whatever – listen, I heard what Doyoung asked you about just now. About the wedding.”

Haewon flinches, then realizes what Yuta would probably be thinking, and a small sigh of relief leaves her. “You mean Donghyuck told you.”

“I heard, Donghyuck told me – what does it matter… Is it because of the program? Did you get in?”

General nosiness aside, Yuta’s actually one of the few colleagues (other than Doyoung) whose company Haewon really enjoys. Which is why Haewon had told him about an application she made months ago, to pursue a master’s program in Literary Arts at Brown University. Needless to say, she had earned Yuta’s immediate and fervent support, knowing that studying English Literature instead of Creative Writing for her bachelor’s had been a cop-out on Haewon’s part and a regret she had drunkenly let slip to him at an informal company gathering.

She’d always wanted to study Creative Writing, and while she didn’t exactly need that master’s degree to become a writer per se, she really hopes to further her studies in fiction writing.

“No Yuta, I haven’t received news yet.”

“Shouldn’t you know by now?” Yuta has always been straightforward, “besides, why’re you keeping it a secret? You should just tell Doyoung; you’re so close, he’ll be happy for you. You shouldn’t have to feel guilty about taking your shot.”

The reality is, the situation is a lot more complicated than Yuta’s understanding. There’s the thing with leaving the company in the midst of this busy period when Doyoung needs his assistant, but there’s also the other thing, the bigger issue at stake. That Haewon is in love with Doyoung and might not necessarily want to see him walk down the aisle with a woman who isn’t her.

“It’s not that simple – besides, he’s been swamped ever since the acquisition.”

Dam-il Publishing Co. was a small local publishing company with a focus in Korean language fiction novels, until its recent acquisition by the large multinational New York-based Bertsman Publishing House. Despite the acquisition, Bertsman had allowed Dam-il to retain its name, knowing that it is an emerging trusted brand among aspiring and established writers, and a known publishing company in many Korean households. However, the acquisition had also brought Bertsman employees into the office, and the number of people were far too many for Doyoung to handle at the start.

Doyoung is also, generally, a less trusting person when it comes to work ethics. While he greatly appreciates his Dam-il subordinates and their efficiency, he has less to say about their Bertsman counterparts – in Yuta’s words, Doyoung finds them “fucking lazy”. Haewon has always been his key go-to person to check on their progress in their projects, and he relies on her effortlessly and wholeheartedly.

Doyoung is… something else. According to their mutual friend Johnny, Doyoung had majored in Finance in college, done inexplicably well and had received an offer from one of the big four financial consulting companies even before graduation. However, as Doyoung had told him upon graduation, that wasn’t the life he was after. He loved books and wanted to make a career out of it, so he started working for Dam-il as an Acquisitions Editor’s assistant right after graduation against the heed of his professors and university friends. He was, to say the least, smart and a fast learner, quickly making his way up the company ladder and was handed the highest rank of Managing Editor in just nine years (a fact that somehow only made Doyoung more attractive to Haewon).

Thanks to his work ethic and Dam-il’s excellent sales numbers, he’s now the Bertsman CEO Fulworth’s most trusted Managing Editor – something Johnny loves teasing him about.

Yuta sighs into the phone, lifting her from her stupor against the quiet backdrop of a whirring air-conditioner and a bubbling coffee machine.

“Well nevertheless, you need to tell him soon, Haewon – especially if you can’t go to his wedding.”

Johnny is sitting in front of their living room window by the time Haewon reaches home. She’s completely exhausted, her cranberry lipstick visible only on the outer reaches of her mouth and her eyeliner leaving small charcoal patches beneath her lower lashes. It’s ten in the evening on a Friday night, but surprisingly Johnny is at home sipping red wine, his eyes relaxed and shut. His other hand gestures wildly and somewhat pretentiously like an overexcited conductor to what Haewon recognizes as the last line of Frank Sinatra’s I’ve Got The World On A String.

“You’re home early,” Haewon comments.

Johnny swings around in his chair. “Haewonnie, I feel like I’ve gotten old,” he pouts dramatically, even though, Haewon thinks, his bright, enthusiastic puppy-like expression definitely begs to differ.

“Mark asked me after work if I wanted to hit a bar downtown with the kids tonight – but I actually feel drained. I had to say no.” The slightly annoying and yet endearing pout hasn’t left his face.

Just as Doyoung is Fulworth’s golden boy, Mark Lee is Johnny’s – constantly trailing after him at his company. Despite being almost thirty-two years old and the head of his department, Johnny loves hanging out with the young employees and interns, determined to keep his youthfulness in check.

Haewon grew up in the same neighborhood as Johnny back in Chicago, where Johnny was popular among the Asian kids as the kind older brother to them, fending off bullies on their behalf and bringing them to bookstores and ice-skating rings and bowling alleys. When he turned fifteen, Johnny moved back to South Korea to attend high school – a decision that surprised everyone in the neighborhood. But Johnny has always done what Johnny wants and exceled in every situation, so his parents agreed. While Haewon did not consider herself particularly close to Johnny when they were younger, Johnny has always been generous with his concern for others. When he found out from his mother that she was planning a move to Korea three years ago, he reached out to her and offered to share his apartment with her.

(“The rent is too expensive anyway,” Johnny had insisted, but Haewon knew even then that he could definitely afford it given his salary.)

Johnny is… pretty much Haewon’s lifesaver. Even before she came to Korea, Johnny had everything arranged for her. Understanding that she had majored in English Literature and loved books, he hooked her up with a publishing job at Dam-il under Doyoung, a deed Haewon has always been insanely grateful for. And while she had been shy and quiet upon her arrival to Korea, his cheerful demeanor, along with his puppy-like enthusiasm and child-like laughter had been more than enough to draw Haewon out of her shell. Even though she had been depressed and lost in life, Johnny had been by her side, cheering her up and restoring her usual happy glow.

Unsurprisingly, Johnny is the director of the product design department for a leading technology conglomerate. Unlike Doyoung, Johnny actually enjoys the ‘hustler’ lifestyle of ‘work hard, play hard’.

They met in college where they were both in the Business faculty. Despite being inherently different, the two became close quickly, bonding over a shared distaste for unnecessary societal expectations and parochial attitudes stereotypical of elitists in their country. While growing up abroad made Johnny more open-minded and gentler with the people he met, Doyoung’s open-mindedness is the culmination of years of observing people and their idiosyncrasies. The tough experiences of witnessing school bullying and students’ imploding from academic stress fueled a quiet and righteous, vaguely Robin Hood-like, anger towards societal insularity, that is now characteristic of Kim Doyoung.

“You’re not old – besides, who wants to go to a bar when you can drink in the comfort of your own home?”

“I want to! Haewon-ah, you’re acting too old for your age-”

Her phone rings, interrupting Johnny’s nagging monologue. She glances at the caller ID before picking up quickly.

“Hey boss, what’s up?” In the background, she can hear Johnny making a chant out of the words ‘is it Doyoung?’, leaning out of his seat to peer over eagerly. She nods, and a huge grin spreads over his face.

“So sorry to disturb you this late, but it’s kind of an emergency- is that Johnny?”

It takes a moment for Haewon to realize, but Johnny has since progressed from his ‘is it Doyoung’ song to a strange jingle that sounds like ‘my friend Kim Doyoung, my brother Kim Doyoung, my love Kim Doyoung’ to the tune of a lullaby. “Yeah it is, he’s lying spread-eagled on the ground now and crying out your name in despair-”

Doyoung laughs, breathlessly and colorfully, sounding like a musical instrument of his own and making Haewon smile as she walks into her room and away from Johnny’s antics.

“Say hi to him for me. Okay so,” his voice turns serious, “do you have Cho Young Jun’s file?”

“Yeah I have it with me right now, it’s in my bag.”

“Oh thank God,” Doyoung heaves a sigh of relief, “sorry, I might need you to bring it to the airport tomorrow. I need his personal particulars and the signed hard copy of his indemnity form.”

“No apologies needed boss – but, so urgently?”

“Yeah,” Doyoung sounds frustrated, and Haewon can almost picture him running his fingers through his hair, a gesture not in the least unattractive to her. “Well he’s still considered a minor, so royalties will probably go directly to his guardian for safekeeping. And… They want him to do press.”

“Okay, so I’ll reach out to our usual media and PR agencies – what does that have to do with-”

“No…” Doyoung sighs, “American press; talk shows, interviews – things like that.”

“He’s seventeen.” Haewon raises an eyebrow, “he’s totally unprepared for that kind of thing. Plus, his English isn’t fluent, last time I checked.”

Johnny has since entered her room and conjured the most dramatically shocked expression Haewon has ever seen, as if Doyoung had informed her that Cho Young Jun would be going into prostitution instead of doing press. She glares at him as she listens to Doyoung’s instructions, ending the call with a, “okay sure, I’ll bring them for you tomorrow. Good night boss.”

Johnny smirks as she finishes the call, “ooh boss. Kinky. Me likey.”

Johnny is the only person privy to Haewon’s admittedly rather long term ‘crush’ on Doyoung, catching on rather quickly since they met and letting her down gently with “he’s attached, Haewonnie”. In fact, it’s been three years since Johnny has shared that piece of information with her, but Haewon is unfortunately still hopelessly in love with Doyoung.

Ever the best friend, while Johnny has told her that he’s worried about her pertaining to this, he manages to make the situation more light-hearted effortlessly. In fact, he sometimes cracks jokes at her expense to her privately and not unkindly, while knowing when to offer her a shoulder to cry on.

“You’ve heard me call him boss a thousand times,” she rolls her eyes, pushing him out of her room to rest for the night, “also, you’re driving me to the airport tomorrow.”

Johnny drums his fingers against the steering wheel, his cheeks puffing up as he waits for Haewon’s text to get to his car at the pick-up point. They had left the house at eight in the morning to catch Doyoung at the airport just in time before his flight, and Johnny really needs to catch up on sleep once they get home. He is absentmindedly humming to Alicia Keys’ If I Ain’t Got You on the radio, when Haewon clumsily gets into his car.

“Johnny-” At once, he realizes she’s ashen pale, her lips quivering.

“What’s wrong, Haewon? You look like you’ve just seen a ghost.”

“John, I just… I just saw…”

“What?” He starts the car and begins the route home when Haewon’s next words make him pull up at the side of the road in shock.

“Inhee’s cheating on Doyoung…”

w/n: this fic will be updated regularly until its resolution, look out for an update every Thursday at 9pm KST.

talk to me!! here

#nct imagines #doyoung imagines #johnny imagines #doyoung scenarios #johnny scenarios #doyoung angst #doyoung fluff #nct scenarios #nct #doyoung #johnny #nct fanfiction #doyoung fanfiction #johnny fanfiction #nct au #chance encounters #my work

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theycallmegothboy · 3 years

Note

1-100 >:DDDD REVENGE!!!

FELIXXXXXXXXXXXX >:(( 1. Spotify, SoundCloud, or Pandora? -spotify 2. is your room messy or clean? -it’s pretty messy i guess 3. what color are your eyes? -blue and grey

4. do you like your name? why? -yeah it’s fine 5. what is your relationship status? -single 6. describe your personality in 3 words or less -certified intrusive thot 7. what color hair do you have? -brown and rn it’s red 8. what kind of car do you drive? color? -i dont have a car 9. where do you shop? -hot topic, goodwill, target 10. how would you describe your style? -comfy emo 11. favorite social media account -of mine, probably discord or youtube 12. what size bed do you have? -twin >:(( 13. any siblings? -i have 1.5 brothers 14. if you can live anywhere in the world where would it be? why? -probably vancouver, idk canada seems lit 15. favorite snapchat filter? -i like the one with devil horns and a tail but its cute 16. favorite makeup brand(s) -i dont wear makeup 17. how many times a week do you shower? -i used to shower every day, but i dont do anything that gets me dirty so like maybe 3 times but if i leave the house then i shower 18. favorite tv show? -stranger things 19. shoe size? -8 or 9 20. how tall are you? -5′6 with shoes >:(( 21. sandals or sneakers? -sneakers wtf 22. do you go to the gym? -lol no 23. describe your dream date -making some pie or something together and then eating the pie and then sitting on some rooftop looking at stars 24. how much money do you have in your wallet at the moment? -quite a bit actually but i’m saving up for a phone lol so soon it will be like maybe 10 dollars lmao 25. what color socks are you wearing? -not wearing socks but the ones i had earlier were white (ankle length) 26. how many pillows do you sleep with? -just one but it sucks 27. do you have a job? what do you do? -NO BUT IM TRYING TO GET A JOB BUT THE FUCKIN PEOPLE THERE ARE GHOSTING ME AND WONT REPLY TO MY EMAILS SO LIKE SBJHBJS 28. how many friends do you have? -like 4 lmao 29. whats the worst thing you have ever done? -idk nothing super bad but i do a lot of small shit that makes me feel guilty when i realize what i did 30. whats your favorite candle scent? -juniper rosewood 31. 3 favorite boy names -leo, clay, charlie 32. 3 favorite girl names -ivy, uh... idk thats all ive got 33. favorite actor? -no clue 34. favorite actress? -no clue 35. who is your celebrity crush? -not a celeb but i’d smash danny phantom 36. favorite movie? -nightmare before christmas or edward scissorhands 37. do you read a lot? whats your favorite book? -no, but my fav book is probably the prince and the pauper? idk 38. money or brains? -CASH MONEYYYY jk probably brains but if your entire personality is being “smart” like fuck off lmao 39. do you have a nickname? what is it? - a bunch of people call me son (see #49, #100), some call me rat, dumdum, goth boy

40.how many times have you been to the hospital? -just once i think when i was birthed. i also went once with my brother cause he kicked some scissors i left out on the floor and it sliced his toe the fuck open and he needed stitches and i watched him get the stitches and almost passed out :/ 41. top 10 favorite songs -please dont make me do this i dont have it in me 42. do you take any medications daily? -yea i take 20mg of vyvanse but i need to get it raised to 30 cause 20 is Not Enough 43. what is your skin type? (oily, dry, etc) -i got some dry fuckin skin yall dont even know 44. what is your biggest fear? -it depends. the dark is a pretty constant one though 45. how many kids do you want? -like 2 or 3 eventually 46. whats your go to hair style? -in my face, looking stupid 47. what type of house do you live in? (big, small, etc) -it’s pretty small 48. who is your role model? -i dont fuckin know lmao 49. what was the last compliment you received? - “i belive in you, my son, you’re an amazing human being“ (same friend mentioned in #100, not actually a parent of mine) 50. what was the last text you sent? -”no it’s a raccoon“ YOU GET NO CONTEXT LMAO 51. how old were you when you found out santa wasn’t real? -i dont think i ever hardcore believed in him, maybe i did though i remember sleeping under the tree one christmas eve waiting for him but i was like “oh yeah that makes sense“ i guess 52. what is your dream car? -i honestly dont give a shit as long as it actually fucking works 53. opinion on smoking? -cigarettes? fuck no that’s nastyyy. weed? that’s fine i guess but wait till you’re like 18. 54. do you go to college? -no. am sophomore n highschool 55. what is your dream job? -musician/palentologist 56. would you rather live in rural areas or the suburbs? -fuck the suburbs lmao, but also im tired of rural, so like.. semi urban?? 57. do you take shampoo and conditioner bottles from hotels? -no but i take the little soaps >:)) 58. do you have freckles? -yes 59. do you smile for pictures? -awkwardly, yes 60. how many pictures do you have on your phone? -dont have a phone but i have like 12 on my computer currently. 4 are of me, the rest are of my cat or random shit 61. have you ever peed in the woods? -yes 62. do you still watch cartoons? -cartoons these days kinda suck but like if they were good fuck yeah i would like gravity falls can come hang yknow? 63. do you prefer chicken nuggets from Wendy’s or McDonalds? -i had nuggets from mcdonalds today so i guess them? i dont really care 64. Favorite dipping sauce? -i got sweet and sour but i dont like it that much. that schezuan sauce was great 65. what do you wear to bed? -wouldnt you like to know? ;)) 66. have you ever won a spelling bee? -NO ive only been in two. the first one i misspelled the word “turmoil“ cause i had never heard it before and the second one i spelled the word “owed“ as “ode“ cause i was thinking like ode to joy and then i felt like a big Fool afterwards :(( 67. what are your hobbies? -lol what hobbies 68. can you draw? -i am physically able to draw, but not well, no 69 (haha). do you play an instrument? -yeah i play a few 70. what was the last concert you saw? -i saw Chicago in either georgia or tennessee i cant remember in like 2016 71. tea or coffee? -hot coffee, iced tea. NOT the other way around. (i love both though) 72. Starbucks or Dunkin Donuts? -starbucks 73. do you want to get married? -sure why not 74. what is your crush’s first and last initial? -dont have a crush 75. are you going to change your last name when you get married? -idk maybe 76. what color looks best on you? -i dont know but i wear black a lot and that’s pretty dope 77. do you miss anyone right now? -yeah 78. do you sleep with your door open or closed? -closed 79. do you believe in ghosts? -on the fence. not 100% “oh my god look at these gHoSt oRbS i need to sage my house!!!“ but i accept that there’s some things i wont understand about the world and that i have no answers to. i wouldnt be surprised if there are, and i wouldnt be surprised if there aren’t. 80. what is your biggest pet peeve? -whatever my adhd decides i viscerally hate with a firey passion right at that moment 81. last person you called -my brother (the 1 of the 1.5 from #13 and the one who sliced his toe in #40) 82. favorite ice cream flavor? -chocolate is dope 83. regular oreos or golden oreos? -regular double stuff. if you say golden, mint, peppermint, or thin oreos i’m gonna have to euthanize you, i dont make the rules. 84. chocolate or rainbow sprinkles? -rainbow cause it’s prettier 85. what shirt are you wearing? -queen shirt from hot topic 86. what is your phone background? -i didnt get a phone between question 60 and now but my computer one is some mountains with the moon in the background 87. are you outgoing or shy? -really depends on who i’m around 88. do you like it when people play with your hair? -YES FUCK AAAAAAA (this girl played with my hair literally once in middle school and i was like oh shit and i had a crush on her until the end of middle school true story,,, so ashley if you’re out there-) 89. do you like your neighbors? -to the left they’re fine and their dog is nice but idk what happened to the horses so that’s sus but that’s where our cat came from so they can hang guess, behind me they’re fine but their boys are loud, to the right they’re fine, and even further to the right are the dope neighbors and waaaaaaaaaay far to the right is a llama and he’s dope as hell 90. do you wash your face? at night? in the morning? -whenever the fuck i remember to/have the energy 91. have you ever been high? -i dont think so but i wouldnt put it past myself 92. have you ever been drunk? -not that i can remember, no 93. last thing you ate? -sloppy joe from a can 94. favorite lyrics right now -”not gonna waste my life, cause i’ve been fucked up“ 95. summer or winter? -fall. fuck you 96. day or night? -night but i like it when it’s actually night and it doesnt get dark at like 4 fucking pm cause that makes me depressed 97. dark, milk, or white chocolate? -dark is good, milk is fine, white is only suitable for fancy stripes on chocolate covered strawberries 98. favorite month? -i vibe with september 99. what is your zodiac sign -sagittarius (was almost a scorpio but i was holding out >:))) 100. who was the last person you cried in front of? -in person, my mom like 6 months ago, on a discord call, my friend (i love you by the way, you’re the best,,, i dont think he has tumblr but im just putting it out there) like a month or so ago. i hate crying in front of people, i turn into such a hyperventilating snot monster which is not suitable for human gaze and thats the real tea :/

felix this took like 2 hours of my life i will never get back i hate you and i hope you’re happy with what you’ve done <3 <3

also anyone who wants to stalk me, enjoy this information that im handing to you on a silver platter :)) <3

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katehuntington · 5 years

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Title: Ride With Me (part ten) Fandom: Supernatural AU Characters series: Reader, Dean Winchester, Bobby Singer, Ellen Singer-Harvelle, Jo Singer (Harvelle), Benny Lafitte, Garth Fitzgerald IV, Castiel Novek, and many more. Timeline: 2008 Pairing: Dean x Reader (eventually) Word count: ±6500 words Summary series: Y/N is a talented horse rider who is on her way to become a professional. In order to convince her father that she deserves the loan needed to start her own farm, she goes to Arizona for six months, to intern at a ranch owned by Bobby and Ellen Singer. Her future is set out, but then she meets a handsome horseman, who goes by the name of Dean Winchester. A heartwarming series about a cowboy who falls for the girl, letting go of the past and the importance of family. Summary part ten: Y/N is about to go on an adventure. Good thing she has her friend Jo to help her pack and her crush Dean to guide the way. Warnings series: NSFW, 18+ only! Fluff, angst, eventually smut. Swearing, smoking, alcohol intoxication, alcohol abuse. Mutual pining, heartbreak. Crying, nightmares, childhood trauma. Description of animal abuse, domestic violence, mentions of addiction. Financial problems, stress, mental breakdown. Description of blood and injury, hospital scenes, character death, grief. Music: The Man With The Harmonica - Ennio Morricone, Hide And Seek - Gareth Dunlop (end scene). Check out ‘Kate Huntington’s Ride With Me playlist’ on Spotify! Author’s note: Thank you @kittenofdoomage and @girl-with-a-fandom-fettishfor helping me. You girls are awesome betas. Thank you for your endless patience!

Ride With Me Masterlist

“Wait, you’re not planning on bringing all that with you, are ya?” Y/N’s eyes leave the three pairs of boots from which she still has to choose. Not to decide what two sets to leave behind, but which to wear and which to pack. Jo stands in the doorway of her tiny room, staring at the bed, which is covered in flannels, shirts, tops, several hats, jeans, jackets, sweaters, towels, socks, matching underwear, swimwear, a makeup bag, and a toiletry bag. Even a hair iron and of course her phone charger lay amongst the collection of items that one way or another are going to have to fit into her bag.

The season is coming to an end now that September has reached its final days. It’s time to move the two-year-old horses down from the summer reservation. Bobby had asked his intern if she wanted to come along and of course she blurted out ‘yes!’ before he could even finish his sentence. She was so excited about the trail ride and started packing immediately. This is going to be quite an experience, especially for a show rider like herself who usually sticks to riding in a fenced arena. It’s a good thing that she started gathering her things early, because she has been contemplating what to bring for over an hour now. She’s the kind of girl who pays extra for exceeding the luggage weight limit on her flights, so no wonder she’s having it tough choosing what to bring.

A little helpless she looks over at Jo, who’s waiting on her response. “I was planning on bringing this, actually,” she returns, hesitatingly. “Damn… poor horse,” the blonde cowgirl comments, eyeing all her friend’s stuff. “Too much?” Y/N assumes. “Just a tad,” Jo scoffs as she walks in. “And what the hell are you bringing the entire electronics store for?” “It’s just my charger and my hair iron. I will look like birds are nesting on my head if I don’t straighten this out,” she objects, holding out the strands of hair that have escaped her ponytail. “And you can’t have that with Dean around.” The ranch owner’s daughter crosses her arms in front of her chest, knowingly frowning at her friend. Y/N tilts her head and glares back, but fails to come up with a decent counter, because she’s not wrong. “Shut up,” she mutters instead. “By all means, pack it.” Jo shrugs as she turns back to the door. “But unless you tie a generator behind that horse of yours or find a cactus with a plug, you ain’t charging a damn thing.” “Wait. What?” Y/N responds, confused.

Jo sways around, her blonde braid hanging down from one shoulder. She narrows her eyes, trying to understand how her friend could be so oblivious to the fact that there won’t be any electricity where they are going. “What did my old man tell you exactly?” “That we might have to spend a couple of nights out camping,” Y/N recalls, trying to remember his exact words. “Have you ever been out camping, city girl?” Jo wonders, her tone indicating that she has figured it out. Now Y/N crosses her arms defensively. Just because she comes from a wealthy family, doesn’t mean that she has never been on a trip back to basics. “I have, as a matter of fact,” she returns confident. “Let me define ‘camping’,” Jo kicks off. “I’m talking ‘bout the sleeping-in-a-tent, no-shower-for-days, cooking-your-own-food-above-a-fire kind of camping. Not the kind where you park the luxurious double axle camper nice and close to the restaurant and the power station and get that satellite working as soon as possible so y’all can watch Netflix.”

Y/N opens her mouth to claim that she is not that kind of person, but has to admit her loss. She’s right, down to the double axle camper and the satellite TV. “So, no electricity? No shower?” she asks, intimidated by the matter, a trace of panic in her voice. “Nope,” Jo confirms, amused. “Better start prioritizing. Let me get my saddlebags, you can use those. Everything that doesn’t fit in there except for your sleeping bag, is not comin' along for the ride.” “Alright,” Y/N agrees reluctantly, nonetheless grateful for the help. “But how are you going to pack if I have your saddlebags?” “Simple: I’m not. I’m staying home,” the ranch owner’s daughter says. Astonished, the intern looks at her. Wait, her friend isn’t coming on this trail? The thought actually scares Y/N a little, because Jo has been there to guide her since she picked her up from the airport over a month ago. “Are you kidding me? Why?” “Someone has to run this joint while y’all are having fun. Usually, the stable crew guards the castle, but with Ash gone…”

Y/N drops her head, her mind going out to the former cattle worker. Ash left a week ago. Bobby gave him two weeks' notice but said he was free to go anytime. The loyal employee showed character and stayed as long as Bobby could afford to keep him. But after those fourteen days, Ash had no choice but to leave. Everyone was sad to see the quirky fellow go. The exchange of hugs between him and every member of his working family was moving to witness. “Dad offered to stay behind by himself, but he’s getting too old to work that hard,” Jo explains. “Garth and I will make sure everything runs smoothly here.” “What about me? How am I supposed to function without my conscience?” Y/N pouts. “You’ll be fine. You got Dean to hold your hand the entire way,” Jo mocks. The worried cowgirl chuckles. “That’s the whole problem now, isn’t it?” Jo gets up and intends to leave the room to get the saddlebags. She halts in the doorway, though, offering good advice. “Just remember: don’t do anything I wouldn’t do.” “He’s your cousin. Of course you’re not going to sleep with him,” Y/N returns smartly, pulling a laugh from the blonde cowgirl. “See my point?” she returns, winking back before she leaves the room.

Thirty minutes later, Y/N is packed and ready, but sacrifices had to be made. Obviously, the hair iron and phone charger didn’t make the final cut, but neither did her shampoo, conditioner, and moisturizer, since she won’t be able to shower anyway. Her makeup didn’t fit into the bags either. It hurts to leave it all behind and she already feels insecure about spending days with the others wearing a blank canvas of a face. Sure she isn’t as fresh at the end of a working day as she was at the start of it, but so far she has been able to keep her hair and makeup in check. Now she won’t even have a mirror to judge how tired and ordinary she looks without a brow pencil and mascara. “You’re all set.” Jo, who is on her knees on the wooden floor fighting with the saddlebag, secures the last strap, shifts her weight back on her heels and places her hands on her narrow waistline. “I owe you one. I would have never managed alone,” Y/N says, appreciating her friend’s help. “You know you can count on me.” She shrugs it off after getting up. “I’ll lend you my raincoat and my gloves too. Never sure if you’re gonna need ’em, but if the monsoon decides to throw a curveball at ya, you’ll be thanking me.” She pops out of the room again, as excited for the intern as Y/N is herself. Jo’s bubbly personality has her smiling even after she leaves. It’s funny how it feels like they have known each other for years and yet it was only a month ago that she got into the pickup truck at the airport. One month ago, this challenge started. Her dad tries to hide the surprise in his voice every time she phones him to tell him how much she is enjoying her time here. He probably expected a plea for money. That, or a one-way ticket back to luxury and easy work.

Y/N looks at one of the pictures that she nailed to the wooden wall. It portrays her family; Mom, Dad, and her three brothers surrounding Y/N at her graduation ceremony. Sure, she misses them, but she is starting to become a part of this ranch family too. That’s how it feels anyway: accepted, wanted… even loved. Her eyes hover over the picture frames and other decorations that she used to spice up her room a little. Many of the photos show Meadow, some snapped during shows, others at home in the fields. Won belt buckles and ribbons are trophies of their success together, each memory a highlight of her partnership with the special Quarter mare. Y/N remembers when she won every single one of them.

“You’re not getting homesick, are ya?” She startles, jolted awake from her daydream, and turns her head to face her handsome supervisor. Dean leans against the doorpost, and judging by the amused expression, he has been standing there for longer than a second. Dear Lord, she got so caught in recalling past victories and happy memories, that she didn’t hear him walk up to her room. The sight of him has her lost for air, even after recovering from the scare. He stands on one leg, the other bent and crossing his back foot, resting on the nose of his boot. Fringe from his worn chaps fall down over his jeans, a dark brown Stetson to match it. Dressed in a red plaid buttoned shirt and a denim jacket over it, he looks even better than he did this morning. The handsome models in the old Marlboro commercials have nothing on him. “Don’t worry. I’m not going back anytime soon,” she responds before Dean can call her out on staring. “Besides, this is beginning to feel a lot like home, too.” The wrangler glances at the wall next to the bunk bed and lets his eyes roam over the photos, ribbons and buckles. He smiles at a goofy picture of her and her three older brothers. “I like what you’ve done with the place,” he compliments. Y/N smiles at that. “Well, I am going to be staying here for a while. Might as well make it cozy.”

He grins, his green eyes catching the rays of sunlight coming through the window. Specks of gold stand out amongst the apple green, his pupils adjusting as they flick over the captured moments. They stop when he notices a photo taken during a prize-giving ceremony. He recognizes Meadow instantly, her trademark white face is hard to miss. She stands proudly with a white and blue sash hanging from her neck, event sponsors standing next to the horse, presenting the prizes won while smiling at the camera. But the person who smiles the brightest is Y/N, who sits squarely in the saddle with a wide grin on her face and sparkles in her eyes. “You won the State Championships,” he says impressed, reading the footnote. “That’s pretty damn impressive.” Y/N lights up but stays humble. “Meadow was on fire. It was the ride of my life.” “I bet it was.” Dean watches her for a second, admiring, while she reminisces over the highlight of her riding career. Then he glances at his watch briefly. “We leave at ten. You’re all packed?”

“She is now,” Jo interrupts, holding out a rolled-up sleeping bag and neatly packed raincoat. “Gloves are in the pockets.” “Thanks, Jo.” Y/N takes them and looks over her shoulder in search of her saddlebags. Dean instantly moves in to pick them up, since she has her hands full anyway. “I got it,” he states, lifting her luggage over his shoulder. “Oh, how noble of you!” Jo teases her cousin, not at all impressed with his manors. “What are you gonna do next? Buy a white horse?” Y/N snorts, but quickly straightens her mouth into a thin line to silence herself and hide the sign of amusement. Luckily, the wrangler is too busy countering her friend, as he follows the two girls into the living room. “It’s called ‘being nice’. You should try it sometime,” Dean snarls. Before the ranch owner’s daughter pushes open the front door, she looks over her shoulder. “Would you like to hold the door for her too?” she suggests, a challenging smirk on her face. “Would you like to shut your piehole?” Dean fires back after rolling his eyes.

Y/N giggles at the bickering, and opens the door herself by pushing it with her foot. If she didn’t know any better, she would think the two are siblings. Maybe not by blood, but they spent a great deal of their childhood together in the same house, at least that’s what she understood from Jo. Over the years, the youngest Singer figured out that she might not be able to beat her older cousin when it comes down to strength and speed, but verbally she stands her ground just fine. Now is no different, because Dean might have had a comeback ready, Y/N doesn’t fail to notice the color on his cheeks. He carefully glances at her from under his hat, the cowgirl smiling back reassuringly before she descends down the stairs.

At the tack up area, the Joshua tree stands tall, offering meager shade to the horses and humans underneath its branches. It’s rush hour. Benny and Garth are readying the horses, assisted by the three riders that are coming along for the trail. Dean was against bringing people along on such a long and potentially dangerous ride, but Bobby said the tourists paid good money and were experienced, so eventually, he agreed. Eight horses are tied up to the rails around the yucca tree. Six of them will be ridden, the other two will be the group’s packhorses. Y/N spots Joplin amongst them, the feisty mare that has grown on her over the past weeks. “She’s yours for the next couple of days.” Dean points her out, heading over to the dark horse with Y/N’s baggage. “Since the two of you get along so well.”

Delighted, she faces the mare, who pushes her soft nose into the folded raincoat in her arms, sniffing up the aroma. Y/N likes the little dark horse. She is not easy, has different ideas about what the pace should be, and can get very offended when her rider tells her otherwise, but there’s something about her attitude that the intern appreciates. She’s fast, tireless from the second her rider puts a foot in the stirrup, to the second he or she gets off. The Quarter is perfect for a trail like this. It didn’t cross her mind to bring Meadow for the ride. The reining horse, which is used to train on smooth arena footing, would most likely injure herself on the uneven rocky slopes and narrow paths. The hours under saddle would be much longer than regular training too, and Y/N does not want to confront her four-legged best friend with a task that she isn’t up for. Dean swings the saddlebags over Joplin’s back and straps them to the saddle. He mounts the sleeping bag and Jo’s raincoat that he takes from the intern on top, his fingers briefly brushing against hers in the transfer. The tingling sensation lingers on the surface of her skin where he touched her, causing her to be the one who is flustered now. The wrangler carefully glances over as he secures the baggage. She feels caught, but his expression is soft and comforting; he felt it too.

“Okay, y’all! We’re goin’ in five!” Benny shouts loud enough for everyone on the square to hear with his Southern accent thick on his tongue. “If you have to use the john or forgot to pack clean undies, now would be your last chance to do so.”

Last preparations are made by the crew. Benny secures his lasso to the horn of the saddle with a leather rope strap, while Dean consults his uncle one more time before departure, the two of them looking at a map of the Superstition Mountains. Then Dean folds the map and shoves it into the inside pocket of his jacket, after which he walks over to Ted Nugent, the big brown gelding that he will be riding for the upcoming days, since his favorite buckskin is out with a tendon injury ever since that rainy morning when the cattle broke out. Ellen walks up to her nephew and hands him a paper bag which, without a doubt, contains something delicious. “Made you some pecan tassies for on the road,” she says. “Wouldn’t want you to miss my baking too much.” “Thanks, Ellen.” Dean gives her a grateful nod and puts the tassies in his saddlebag. “Be careful out there, alright?” she presses, clearly worried about the quest that lies ahead for the wranglers. “Bring them back home safely.” “I’ll take care of the bunch. I promise,” he assures comfortingly, gently pulling her into his chest after which he gives his aunt a kiss on her hair.

Ellen and Dean aren’t the only ones who exchange a few last words before the group leaves. “Okay, grasshopper. This is it,” Jo’s voice sounds from behind Y/N. She spins on her heels in between the horses to meet the ranch owner’s daughter, who folds her arms around Y/N and hugs her tight. Happily, she returns the embrace before Jo pulls back and holds her by the shoulders. “Stay away from chollas if you don’t want Joplin to turn into a two-year-old who never had a saddle on her back before. And if the horses get nervous and you hear a rattle, get the hell out of Dodge, because there’s a rattlesnake within a few feet from you. Check your–-” Y/N cuts Jo off, because she has heard this before from either her or Ellen. “I know, I know. Check my boots for spiders and scorpions before I put them on and keep the tent closed,” she fills in. “Not just to keep out insects and reptiles, but horny cowboys as well,” Jo adds. Y/N snorts. “I’ll handle him. I will miss you, though.” “I’ll miss you, too, sis,” her friend returns, smiling.

They say goodbye while Dean unties his gelding and gets on swiftly, overlooking the group from the higher point of view. “Y’all ready?” he asks the company of six. When the riders cheer, he takes the reins with one hand and pulls it gently towards him, an aid for Ted to backup and move away from the other horses. The excitement rises noticeably, comparable to what one would feel when on an aircraft just before take-off and on its way to a new destination. Some of the animals start to get restless in the thrill, Joplin included. Y/N doesn’t waste any time and pulls the safety knot in order to free the mare, then puts her left foot in the stirrup and pushes herself off the ground with her right, swinging it over the back of the black horse. “Good luck, y’all,” Bobby wishes the six men and women. “See you in a couple of days!” Jo calls out.

Y/N waves at the people staying behind, a bright smile spreading from ear to ear. Looking forward to the adventure that will come next, she straightens herself in the saddle and faces the vast landscape. She might be twenty-four, but she feels more like a seven-year-old going on a field trip. In front of the rider, a pair of alert ears belonging to Joplin point forward. Beyond that view, the promontory of the Superstition Mountains stretches out. The sun has risen from behind the ridges in the East hours ago, already warming up the valley with its strong rays.

Dean watches the young woman, consumed by a different kind of scenery as his horse follows the path. In the past few weeks, she has grown more comfortable in her role as a wrangler and a ranch hand. The daily routine is starting to become her second nature and the people she works with are her friends now. He wouldn’t have guessed it at first - and he’s quite sure she herself wouldn’t have guessed it either - but she fits in perfectly. The rich girl from upstate with a master’s degree under her belt feels at home surrounded by a bunch of country folks in the dry desert lands of the south west. Who would have thought that? Dean smiles, content; something tells him that this trip will help her blossom even more.

She could almost hear a harmonica play the theme from Once Upon A Time In The West, and she’s still waiting for tumbleweed to roll across the path. Cacti reach for the sun, their arms outstretching upward, like the giants are growing actual limbs. It’s a nice variation to the evergreens that she is used to, back in Maine. The rain that came down two weeks ago has laid a blanket of green over the dry lands; it’s amazing how nature can change in a matter of days. Jo warned her about the sun, and with good reason. Over the last month, the intern slowly but surely got used to the extreme weather circumstances that Arizona offers, but she has never been on a horse during the hottest hours of the day. It might already be late September, but the heat is blistering. She could use a shower right about now, and just the thought of not being able to take one for the next couple of days grosses her out. The temperatures weigh on the female rider, more than she thought it would, but her partner Joplin doesn’t seem to mind much. Her neck and shoulders are sweaty, but she still dribbles impatiently every now and then, eager to cover more ground.

Dean leads the group, guiding them from spring to spring. The group left the Hieroglyphic Trail about three hours ago, which ended at a small creek and a poor excuse for a waterfall. They took a break there and had a few of Ellen’s delicious pecan tassies while the horses drank. Now, they are well on their way to Willow Spring, but the trail isn’t getting any easier. As they conquer the steep slopes, the pace slows down. Y/N is amazed at how the horses are able to maneuver on the rough terrain, which consists of loose pebbles, slippery boulders, and cracked volcanic rock. One misstep could severely injure the large animals, but they seem to be aware of that. Joplin proceeds agile and fearless, almost like a bobcat, and her rider learns quickly to let her take care of the drops and jumps. She doesn’t need guidance, the mare knows the way. All Y/N has to do is sit tight and move along with her to maintain the balance.

“How y’all doing back there?” Dean is looking over his shoulder, his free hand resting on the cantle of the saddle. “We’re good!” one of the tourists assures. His name is Brad, the young guy riding next to his sister Macy and their buddy Jonathan. The head wrangler chatted a little bit with the three members of the group and they turn out to be good company. The trio is traveling across the country, enjoying a gap year from college. With Brad and Macy’s father being a rancher in Colorado, they know their way around horses. Jonathan is a little less experienced in the saddle, but he’s managing just fine. No doubt about it, though, that he’s going to be left with a serious muscle ache in the coming days. The leader of the pack shifts his eyes from them to his intern, asking her the same question silently. She nods, smiling reassuringly at her handsome supervisor, telling him in the same language that she’s doing fine. Content, Dean smiles back and winks at her before he straightens himself. It’s a good thing he’s not facing her anymore, because Y/N is sure that about a hundred butterflies hatched from their cocoons in her stomach, the feeling triggering her to take a shuddering breath. She huffs, annoyed with the response he triggered. Just look at him. He’s infuriatinglygorgeous, looking way too good on his horse, in those darn chaps, wearing that darn western hat. A part of her wants to dislike him, just for being so distracting. But she can’t be mad at him, not really. Just a glance her way with that grin and she’s a complete goner. Y/N watches as the cowboy catches up with Benny, slowing his horse down when they are side by side.

“Tell me, Chief, how are things between you and the intern goin’?” the Southerner wonders, making sure the woman in question is unable to pick up on the conversation. Dean looks aside at his best friend, amused by his curiosity. “It’s not going anywhere, really. Things are good as they are,” he claims. “Oh, c’mon, now. Did she turn you down again?” Benny guesses. Dean eyes him. “She didn’t turn me down. I just didn’t make my move.” The wrangler next to him seems to need a second to process the information. Dean Winchester didn’t make a move on a girl he likes in 0.2 seconds? That’s a new one. “Wait a minute. So you two haven’t even…?” “We’re just friends, Benny,” Dean claims, aware how terribly unconvincing it sounds the moment he pronounces the words. “Horse shit. You didn’t pass up Casey to be ‘just friends’ with the gal. You called dibs,” he reminds the head wrangler. “Besides, I see the way you look at her. You don’t look at a pal like that.”

Dean shakes his head, remembering the arrangement well. It’s not like he can deny he made that deal with the farrier, despite that it felt wrong to do so. But back then when he claimed her in order to keep his notorious friend away, he was still clueless about the affection he felt for her. The affection that steadily grew stronger to the point where he cares more about what’s best for the free young woman than what he wants for himself. “So what, Benny?” He shrugs, hoping his friend would let it go. “So what? I know it’s a little dusty here in the desert, but did you get sand in your eyes?” Benny returns, perplexed. “Look, I know she’s awesome, and yes, I wouldn’t mind hooking up with her, but I can’t, okay?” Dean claims. Unable to understand the math behind his choice, the broad-shouldered ranch hand throws him a look that somewhere between dirty and confused. “Why not?” “Well for starters, Bobby will kill me if he finds out, since he took me aside to specifically forbid me to pull anything. Secondly, she’ll only stay for six months--” Benny interrupts him, however. “Invalid, Chief. Bobby told you before to quit bouncing around with clients and staff and it never stopped you then. And since when is six months too short for you? You usually get bored with your lady friends after a--” The cowboy from the South stops mid-sentence and Dean can almost hear it click in his mind. Oh, boy. Benny has figured it out. Even though he tried to make up excuses in order to avoid being confronted by his best bud, there’s no way of dodging that bullet now. “Well, fuck a goat and call her Nancy! You’re in love with her,” Benny announces, shocked. Dean raises his eyebrows at the rider next to him, then scoffs and looks away, trying to act like the very idea is ridiculous. “That’s - that’s just… Y-you’re insane,” he stutters, unable to flat out deny it. Benny starts to laugh out loud, apparently very much amused with his discovery. “I can’t believe you walked straight into that love trap!” “Would you keep your voice down?” the rider next to him hushes. The farrier looks over the back of his horse at the intern, but she’s about thirty yards behind them talking to Macy, clueless what the two wranglers leading the group are discussing. Dean stays quiet for a few long seconds, trying to decide if he is ready to admit that she means so much to him. “She’s a nice girl, Benny. I don’t wanna hurt her,” he claims. “Oh, c’mon now! You’re seriously telling me you grew a conscience all of a sudden? You used to love ‘em and leave ‘em without a second thought.” Benny has crossed his wrists over the horn of his saddle, the reins loosely between his fingers, as he looks aside to catch anything that would indicate what’s going on in his best mate’s head. It’s clear that he’s astonished by the shift in his demeanor. “I’m gonna ignore the urge to ask you who you are and where my friend is,” the Southerner chuckles. “But is it really just her heart you’re scared to break?” Dean ponders, trying to make sense of the odds and ends that scatter his thoughts. Benny is not entirely wrong. It terrifies the wrangler to give in to these emotions. Is that maybe the true reason why he didn’t kiss Y/N that night under the Joshua tree? Or when she came looking for him after he had that argument with Ash? Maybe it’s a bit of both. “How long have we known each other? Fourteen, fifteen years now?” Dean recalls. “Give or take,” Benny confirms, looking down at the trail as he moves his hand over the mane of his horse in order to steer it a little wider around a boulder. “Do I seem like the kinda guy who does that? Fall for a girl? I liked the way things were, no attachments and all that,” the head wrangler continues, confused. “That’s the thing about falling in love, Chief. It happens to the best of us and always at a time when you least expect it. It hits you like lightning and you’re toast before you even got a clue why you’re feelin’ so crispy,” Benny says wisely.

The head wrangler glances at his companion sideways, reading into his words. It almost sounds like the Southerner knows what he’s talking about. “You’ve been there,” he realizes. “Oh, I’ve been there. I’ve been beyond falling in love, I loved her with my whole damn heart,” Benny acknowledges, smiling at the memory. “Her name was Andrea. We were both eighteen. She spent the summer with relatives in Louisiana and I was a lost cause from the moment I laid eyes on her. A Greek Goddess, and I ain’t exaggeratin’. She was pretty as a peach! Kind, funny as hell, too.” “Since she’s ain’t here, I reckon it didn’t end well?” Dean assumes again. “It didn’t; she went back to Greece and I moved here because everything reminded me of her at home,” his friend tells him. “You know you just proved my point, right?” the head wrangler says, a hint of triumph in his voice trying to mask the sadness in his eyes. “If love always comes to bite you in the ass, why even bother?” “‘Cause the heartache ain’t the clue, brother. What I had with Andrea was so good, so pure, I wouldn’t have missed it for the world. Even if I knew what I know now, how it would end, I would take that plunge again without a doubt in my mind.” Dean huffs, unable to believe that. “Despite that she left you?” “Fuck, yeah,” Benny states. “Better to love and to lose, than to not have loved at all.”

Dean is quiet now. The path narrows and he holds Ted back a little, merging behind Benny’s horse. As he lets his friend’s words sink in, he glances down the slope at the intern again. She’s several yards down the steep hill, focused on Joplin as she rides her up the trail. Her braided hair already has strands peeking out from under her hat, and he is sure if she had a mirror she would fix the mess, but he loves it. He loves it when the wind rustles her locks, or when the desert dust smudges her skin. Once again that feeling overcomes him, the feeling of a lantern being lit in the pit of his stomach, warming his body as it slowly rises through his core to his chest, where the heat lingers. It feels so good, but there’s a catch to the sensation. It comes with the emotion that creeps up on him when he lays awake at night thinking about Y/N; fear. The fear of her leaving him after her internship. The fear of her reaction if he would let her witness the scar tissue that lays thick on his soul. The fear that this love will consume him, just like the love for Mom consumed his father. The fear of failing her. But now that the true meaning of Benny’s message dawns on him, another kind surfaces. It’s a thought that he hasn’t had before, and as it pops into his head, the question reverberates louder through his mind than all the others. What if he misses his chance? What if there are only so many opportunities to win her over?

He straightens himself before she looks ahead and spots him staring, and he closes his eyes and tips his hat forward. Shit, you’ve been so worried about losing her that you forgot that in order to lose her, you have to have her first, he thinks to himself. A sigh slips from his dry mouth, reminding him how thirsty he is. He reaches for his water bottle from his saddlebag, pulls out the cap with his teeth and gulps down the water, knocking his head back as he takes a few swigs. Nope, he’s not dehydrated. In fact, he’s still having these contradicting thoughts. When he slips the bottle back where he took it from, his eyes wander down the path again, this time looking straight into hers. As he tries to decide on his next move, he holds her gaze as she smiles up at him. Dean wasted two shots already; what if it’s three strikes, you’re out? If he fucks this up, at least he tried, but if he won’t give this a try at all, he’ll beat himself up over it for the rest of his life. Either way, failure seems to be inevitable.

Then he remembers something. Something that he was taught at a very young age. He had just turned four when he took a fall off the neighbor’s Shetland pony. It was the first time he had rode alone without his mom holding the miniature horse and the naughty pony took advantage of that situation. The Shetland picked up speed and bucked once, sending him straight into the dirt. After making sure that her son was okay, he recalls his mom picking him up. “You wanna give it another go?” she asked. “No…” he said. “So that’s it? You never wanna ride again?” she questioned again, her voice gentle. Now he was quiet, not sure how to answer that. “I don’t wanna fall off,” he mumbled eventually, looking down at the ground. “Falling is a part of riding, sweety. It’s a part of life. It’s okay to fall,” she told him. “But it hurts,” he said, rubbing his scraped elbow. “And it’s scary.” “Yeah, sometimes falling can be very scary,” Mom acknowledged. “But you won’t get any better if you stop trying. You have to face what you’re scared of, to grow. You know what they say about falling?” He shook his little head, waiting for the elaboration patiently. “You have to fall off seven times before you'll become a good rider,” she says. “Seven?!” he repeats, eyes wide. “Seven,” Mom pointed out. “But you know how he becomes a great horseman?” Dean shook his head again and listened eagerly. All that he wanted was to become a horseman, so this was the time to pay attention. “A good rider becomes a great horseman when he falls seven times and gets up eight.”

The wise words always stuck with Dean as he grew older. He remembers when he was twelve and got back to his feet after his seventh crash landing, this time from a young bronc. He was a horseman now, because he got up beaming, and brushed the dirt from his jeans. Every time when life beat him down, he did the same. Sadly, Mom wasn’t there to see her son become a horseman. She was long gone by the time he reached that age, but her life lessons will never be forgotten. Life is filled with setbacks. No one walks this journey without encountering them. For some that one setback is enough reason to give up and never become good at anything, for others, it’s a way to push through. And yes, getting up and trying again is not easy. But Mom taught him to look fear in the eye and get back in the saddle anyway, because quitting will definitely not get him anywhere. Whenever he hit the ground, literally or metaphorically, he would think of that memory. Now is no different. Mom was right; he has to face what scares him in order to grow.

Dean slows down his horse, pulling the bit just enough to stop Ted, giving the horse behind him a chance to catch up. When Joplin comes alongside, he glances at the rider from under his Stetson. “Hello, Cowboy,” she greets, a small but delighted smile on her lips. Dean chuckles at that, his eyes not leaving hers. “Hey, beautiful,” he returns. The compliment brightens her eyes even more and heats up her cheeks. The trail barely allows the two of them to ride side by side, their stirrups touching occasionally. He aches for her knee to brush his like he would crave rain after a long desert ride. When the denim of her jeans does rub against him, it leaves him electrified. And then he realizes that Benny is right, too. It is better to love and to lose, than to not have loved at all.

Thank you for reading! I appreciate every single one of you, but if you do want to give me some extra love, you are free to reblog my work or buy me coffee (Link in bio at the top of the page)

Read part eleven here

#Ride With Me #Dean x Reader #Cowboy!Dean #Dean Winchester #Dean Winchester series #Dean Winchester AU #Cowboy!Dean x Reader #Supernatural #SPN #Supernatural AU #spn au fanfiction #Dean x Y/N #Dean reader insert #Dean Winchester reader insert #Dean Winchester fanfic #Dean Winchester fanfiction #Dean angst #Dean fluff #Kate Huntington

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sparklyandchic · 4 years

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🦋 MINI MIND MAKEOVER 🦋

okay i started the idea for this mini little mind makeover when i broke up with my boyfriend in like january. instead of being sad or angry, i wanted to be grateful for this time and take it as an opportunity to make life better for myself. then quarantine happened, so some of these are related to things i’ve learned since that started. either way, these aren’t all concrete things to do for your mind; some of them are just ways of thinking or pep talks. but if you can find one little piece of information or thought that makes you a little bit happier for a moment, that’s all i can hope for!

5-htp: okay first off- please ALWAYS consult your psychiatrist or medical professional before taking a supplement! taking 5-htp with, for example, serotonin-increasing medications can lead to a fatal illness called serotonin syndrome. personally, i started taking it because i had been on 10 mg prozac for a few months. it definitely dulled a lot of my anxiety and had a lot of positive aspects to it, but it dulled them almost too much to the point where i felt apathetic and detached from myself and the situations i was in. i was in a very unhealthy relationship and felt like i needed my mental clarity and “overthinking” processes back in order to identify what i was feeling and how to deal with it. i felt a lot more “sensitive” after coming off it, which was actually really welcome for me at first, but then it sort of dropped off into withdrawals. i was having constant panic attacks and crying very often. after a while, i was debating going back on prozac, but remembered i had taken 5-htp before. 5-htp is an amino acid that is a direct precursor to serotonin being produced in the brain. when u eat turkey, tryptophan is converted into 5-htp which leads to your brain producing serotonin, thus why you feel calm and happy afterwards. after taking 5-htp for just a few days, ranging between 200-300 mg per day (again, do your research, ask your doctor, and start small) i stopped crying constantly and really felt this sense of calmness and wellbeing but without the detachment and apathy i felt with prozac. i could still think clearly but didn’t feel overly sensitive to every emotion which arose. personally, it is really a lifesaver and really does make a noticeable difference.

cognitive behavioral therapy: ive tried therapy a million times. well okay, like 5 or 6 different therapists. at its worst, therapists told me i needed to use my sexual power as a woman in order to get what i wanted from men, told me i’m bad at socializing and should do group therapy, said my mom shouldn’t have encouraged me to “be myself” when i was younger because it made me less likeable than if i had conformed to normal societal standards of dressing. i had gone to “therapists” who claimed to be trained in CBT, but when i told them about my experiences with dissociation, the only feedback i got was to “take more baths.” while going through a few unpleasant experiences in my personal life, i decided i should try CBT once more, but like the real kind. i found an ivy-league educated licensed psychologist (NOT a “licensed clinical social worker” who doesn’t even have a psychology degree!!) who SPECIALIZED specifically in cognitive behavioral therapy. just after the first session, i was so elated with my experience. as opposed to just telling me that i needed to be more normal or more kind or a better person, she tried to identify WHAT was making me feel that way about myself in the first place. she pointed out the positive things i do and reassured me i was kind, good, and deserving of good things. she pointed out many aspects of my situation that would have taken me days or weeks to come to on my own. i’ve realized my hubris isn’t that i’m not socially acceptable or not perfect enough, but its just that i tend to THINK that i am these things despite having no evidence of it. so, over time with therapy, my positive self image about who i am as a person has grown and strengthened and i dont just randomly feel like a bad human being anymore lol. moral of the story, if you wanna do therapy but it keeps sucking, dont give up. go to a legit psychologist, find someone who specializes in the type of therapy you’re seeking, and also be vocal during your sessions. stand up to your psychologist when they continually push a narrative onto you, and explain why you don’t agree with it. sometimes it’s their job to try different narratives to see what fits, and if you just passively let them say what they want to, you’ll never find the truth of your experience! it’s a communal effort! therapy isn’t usually a magic cure-all where one session fixes everything that goes awry in your brain. but if you find someone who knows what they’re doing they can in fact really help your thought processes become less twisted up and more clear and healthy.

meditation and mindfulness: a few weeks ago i felt anxious and overly driven to get things done to the point where i spiraled into a space of guilt or a panic attack over not getting enough things done. meditation can be so so helpful here. it’s better to spend an hour sitting and doing nothing, but doing it peacefully and then calmly moving on to doing something else, than to spend 5 hours stressing yourself over every single thing you need to get done and how much time you’re wasting. the things that need to get done will get done. another thing that i’ve realized and say to myself a lot is: “focus not on doing all things perfectly, but on doing the small things well.” by this i mean, stop thinking about the 20 things you need to get done and how it all needs to be perfect, but instead take your time with the task that presents itself as most beneficial right now and focus on enjoying it and giving your whole self to the process. for example, stop thinking about how you need to clean your room, your closet, donate clothes, take a shower, take out the trash, read, workout, etc. think to yourself; “which task would bring me the most joy right now?” if the answer is taking a shower, then take that damn shower. bring your speaker into the bathroom, scrub every inch of your scalp with shampoo, scrub your feet and behind your ears and your neck with body wash, brush the conditioner through your hair fully. you may end your shower with 19 other things to do, but god damn if you can’t enjoy a single one of them and be present for it, what’s the fucking point! go light a candle and bask in its glow, go make your bed and huddle up in your neatly arranged covers, go take a long bath or a thorough shower, and be proud of and content with that today.

relationships, with others and yourself: okay, if you missed the memo, my ex-boyfriend sucked. like genuinely was a bad person. he was a drug dealer, so that’s red flag number 1 (which i ignored of course), he hadn’t graduated high school (he was 18, i was 20, he was supposed to graduate the last semester but refused to do the work and ignored me and his mother when encouraged to do it, which is uhh definitely red flag number 2 which i also ignored), he habitually did not show up for dates on time or lied about what he was going to do or what he did (literally everything he did was a red flag and i rlly ignored all of it). the worst part was how he responded when i worked up the courage to speak to him about it. if we had agreed upon a time for our date but he showed up literally 8 hours late, he would blame it on me because i “could have called” him, or that i was “demanding too much of” him, or that i “should have said something earlier so now [i was] just dragging it out because it already happened.” basically, whatever narrative he pushed at me, i eventually gave into. i’ve dealt with gaslighting in a relationship before and a part of me knew what was happening to me, but a part of me also kept having hope for him, kept empathizing with him, kept wanting to believe in him. after a bit too much time, i finally realized you have to trust yourself, empathize with yourself, and believing in yourself over anyone else. at first i felt bad for him not being able to graduate because i had my own struggles with high school and getting work done. i thought he may have issues but he deserves someone to be there for him because i wanted someone to be there for me. despite the pain and stress he was causing me, i sat around crying over him because i cared about him and tend to over-empathize with people close to me, whether they deserve it or not. my therapist told me something that at first i did not understand, but over time came to grasp in its entirety: “some people do not deserve your love or kindness.” after our first session, my homework was to “consider when you are being kind and when you are being taken advantage of.” this made me realize that what feels like your instinctual nature to be nice to others, can in fact be a self-sabotaging unfair action, depending on the other person’s response. i might be dishing out a lot right now, but bear with me. think of it this way: you regard an action as a “kind action”. you might think “kind actions” include: forgiving someone for large mistakes, putting someone’s needs over yours, sparing them some change when they ask for it, listening to the problems they are dealing with every day. BUT when their actions include not forgiving you for minor mistakes, not giving a sh*t about your needs or considering them, not caring how much money they take from you and how much money you need to have around, or habitually glossing over your problems because it doesn’t benefit them to care, THEN those actions you performed are NOT “KIND ACTIONS” anymore. the act of continuing to give them leeway is now the act of being taken advantage of. the act of giving them money is now the act of being taken advantage of. the act of buying into their story at the expense of your sanity, is now the act of being taken advantage. basically, all i’m saying is START PUTTING YOURSELF FIRST AND TRUSTING YOURSELF WHEN YOU FEEL SOMEONE DOESN’T HAVE YOUR BEST INTERESTS IN MIND.

ending thoughts: i know quarantine is difficult right now. the desire to grow contrasted with the inability to move. maybe try and follow that old 2008~ quote; “bloom where you are planted”. you might not be able to reach the goals you thought you would during this time. you might not be able to run a marathon or make a bunch of new friends or wake up at 6 AM to workout or redo your bedroom or get a rhinoplasty or join a gym or get an internship. working towards productivity might be unrealistic right now. but you can work everyday towards becoming the woman you want to be, mentally. you can work on learning to be content, learning to make the best with what you have, learning to appreciate the little things, learning to slow down. these are all qualities that i for one want to have just as much as i want to be attractive or successful. if you can’t enjoy success, what’s the fucking point! life is on pause right now, take this moment as a gift and consider your internal world and what parts of your mind need a makeover. there are horrible things happening in the world right now, do what you can to help, but if you’re safe and healthy then be grateful for the things you can learn from this difficult time. take it slow, but keep moving forward!

#happyandchic #happy and chic

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thebritishblabbermouth · 5 years

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Peaceful storms

Heyya beautiful people!!

Its been a year since ive been active on tumblr and my gosh a year through med school has been insanely exhausting! Glad that’s over

This piece is a little hello from my side.

I hope you enjoy it. Let me know what you think!

I love you guys and thank you for sticking with me for the year

Feel free to message and just say hi :3

SUGA FANFICTION

I’d pick your thunder and your rain over anyone’s sunshine any day – anonymous

The pastel green wall clock struck 2 am, the wind stood steady and calm as the moon hid between dark clouds that hung like blots of ink in the sky. There was no light in the living room, just me and the darkness. Just like it had always been without him.

6 months ago, I was living a dream. My boyfriend, my job, the weather. What I wouldn’t do to go back to those 3 days. He’d just returned from their most recent stadium tour, hungry for me and for our time together. 3 days of love, food and a whole lot of sleep. But mostly, it was 3 whole days of Yoongi. The peculiar smell of fresh laundry and citrus that I had grown to associate with him, the way his warm eyes crinkled as he smiled, lingering touches and promising words. The sun had beamed down on us, soft clouds in the sky, and streaks of light playing games on our skin as we held each other. Perfection in its prime.

But, 3 days of extreme happiness obviously had to match with 3 days of stormy nights. It had been a misunderstanding, something trivial as it always is. Tour dates or a spontaneous fan meeting on the other side of the world. Something to take him away from me again, something to keep him from my arms and the safe haven of our apartment. Perhaps it wasn’t fair, perhaps it was meant to be. The long distance, the time difference, the lack of trust, empty phone calls with broken syllables and dried tears. Maybe that was all we would get, raging skies with angry clouds- thunder and lightning appearing as we hurled words at each other. Words that held no meaning – just remorse and regret.

And, 6 months after those storms, on this peaceful night. It felt like the storm was inside me. It wasn’t that things no longer made sense, wasn’t that I’d forgotten how to function. Rather, it felt like every breath I took was pointless- for there no life in my being. I was numb to everything, almost frozen with time.

I wouldn’t have noticed him entering the room for I had not heard the keys turning the lock or the shuffle of his heavy boots against the hardwood floor- I was too busy listening to the crickets and the dull voice inside my head, rather it was the lamp he’d switched on that shook me from my trance, its light, bathing the space in a moody yellow.

Auto-pilot mode. That’s what they call it. When you do things without thinking about them. That must have been it. I hadn’t realised id walked over to him until his eyes met mine- steely and tired.

‘’I haven’t…haven’t washed my hair in 2 weeks.’’

His voice was gruff, but not quiet. The noise pulled my from the numbness, jolting me into action. I am not entirely sure what it was he said. But it had been words and apparently I knew what I had to do.

A bath.

Min yoongi had somehow managed to make his way into the shared bathroom, hovering at the door way as I set up the large round tub with a pink bath bomb. Rose and tea tree drove away the smell of disinfectant and surface cleaner, the noise of the tap filling the tangible silence of the room.

He stood in front of me, waiting, watching. Noticing my moves as if he expected me to do something new. He wasn’t in luck.

‘’Unbutton.’’

I thought I’d forgotten how to speak.

Huh. I guess not.

I watched him sigh in retaliation- his slack arms and worn face highlighting his fatigue. The dark circles seemed defined under the vibrant lighting, usually rosy lips devoid of makeup and bruised at the edges- the constant biting having taken its toll on the soft skin.

‘’Too tired.’’ He said, his chin tucking into his chest like a little school boy. Was this defeat? Was this him coming back to me? Was this him tired of running away?

My heart sped up at the thoughts, my own grubbing mind had suddenly been startled awake by the act of Suga casting away his defences. What was this man doing to my sanity? Was he stripping me of it or teaching me how to live? I didn’t know. And at that point, it couldn’t have mattered less.

I began unbuttoning the baby blue dress shirt, my hands trembling as we stood close, breathing the same air. Our eyes too afraid to meet. The shirt was stripped in seconds and his dark slacks pooled at the tiled floor. He stepped into the water timidly, checking the temperature with is pale toes. Suga was ever the baby boy- his fans understood him spot on. But I’d always wondered if I’d ever understand Min yoongi the same way.

It was unspoken I wouldn’t be joining him in the bath, I had another task at hand. His hair. Currently dyed at a marron red, at least this time it hadn’t matched the colour of the bubbles in the bath. I smirked inwardly at the memory and sat down near his head as it perched at the edge of the tub.

‘’It’s really dirty Yoongi.’’ I said, soaking his scalp with warm water. This would take at least 2 large pumps of shampoo and perhaps an extra dollop of conditioner.

‘’You called me Yoongi again.’’

I am not sure what I had expected in reply, perhaps a smirk or a defence. But his words brought a shiver to my spine and I halted, his eyes were wide open- boring into my own as he watched me- gauging for a reaction. I tugged at his hair, the distraction successful as he groaned and turned away- momentarily forgetting the interaction I had not yet prepared for.

Washing his hair should have been relaxing for him- and it probably was because I was sure I heard a snore 10 minutes into the second rinse, but for me it was heaven. The strands were rough and dry from years of hair colour and damage but they felt soft in my palms, the shampoo working its magic as I watched his face in peace, memorising every contour and dip, the way his eyelashes curved and his nose twitched as I massaged his scalp, the slight overgrowth of a moustache he so hated and the acne that remained from years ago. It was imperfect and untouched yoongi at his most natural form. My yoongi.

‘’The water’s getting cold.’’ He said, once again driving me away from my thoughts, but this time as I watched him, I noticed his eyes flood, his bottom lip nipped between his teeth as he struggled to maintain composure. Had he been crying? Right in front of me? How had I not noticed?

I nodded and he swiftly retched away from my hands. The white towel wrapped around his waist, hair dripping wet and cheeks flushed as he realised that I’d noticed his reddened face, the tinge to his waterline implying unshed tears and unsaid words. My hands were still wet and he hastily wiped them down with a small rag, his fast movements leaving my still slow mind confused.

‘’What? What are you doing yoongi? You’re going to fall!’’

Suga attempting to multitask was a sight to behold, he failed drastically- often paving way for multiple scratches and gentle kisses to take the pain away. Attempting to wipe my hands and his hair, all the while trying to find a pair of his old boxers from the shelves- ones I hadn’t had the heart to throw away.

‘’We need to get to bed now.’’ He said, grabbing my wrist and pushing me out of the closet, leading the way to the bed.

Had I been anticipating this? Somewhere hidden within my subconscious, he was back in the apartment and id just washed his hair? Why? It made no sense. Had I no self-respect? No life beyond this reckless man? Was I going to let him destroy me all over again?

My thoughts clouded my actions as my back lay against the cool sheets, his hot hand snaking its way around my stomach, teasing the skin as he pulled me towards him. My back melted into his front, head tucked under his chin and arm propped out as my personal pillow. His bangs dripped water into my own hair as I sighed deeply against his skin, breathing him in as I did.

‘’You’re right. I am reckless and this whole thing is crazy.’’

I tried to turn against him, tried to stop this whole vocal declaration but it went to vain, I couldn’t budge. Had his muscles grown in 6 months? Can muscles grow that fast? How does he know what I was thinking about? I took to curling into the pillows and his hand stretched out to touch under the swell of my breast. My breath hitched as he moved, gentle and slow as if he were coaxing me out of my doubts.

‘’I shouldn’t be here. In bed with you, it makes no sense. I swore I would walk away. It was the right thing to do. You were miserable. It hurt.’’ His voice rose an octave has he spoke, words almost trembling.

‘’But I am selfish and clueless and there is nowhere else I would rather be than right here.’’

‘’that’s a terrible combination.’’ I said, rubbing my thumb over his calloused fingers.

Perhaps it didn’t make any sense. Perhaps it didn’t need to. Why he was here and what we had been thinking all those months ago on that stormy night. I didn’t actually remember a word he had said. What was that fight about? I didn’t know. It hadn’t mattered then and it doesn’t matter now. But this, my heart that was finally beating again.

This felt like it mattered. Yoongi and his citrusy smell that came back to fill the room, the damp hair and his warm skin scorching my own under the thin cream covers. His legs tangled with mine as he spoke. This moment right here, this feeling, this would never be replaced.

‘’it’s a good thing I am both of those things too.’’ I whispered into his arm, wrapping my hands around its width and pulling it towards me. He curled into my form and relaxed, his muscles loosening as he did.

Nothing more had been said that night, as it seemed no words were needed, we fell further into sleep and into each other as the skies broke and rain thrashed against the windows, the violent streaks of lightening falling against our cuddled limbs, playing against the exposed skin as it did with the thunder of the storm.

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benhardyisdaddy · 5 years

Text

In The Shadows - Part 4

MASTERLIST

(okay so i feel like this is rlly long so im sorry lol my fics r like either super long or short no in between IM SORRY i hope u like it tho sksksks ily BYEEE oh also this pic gives me hot mysterious bf vibes so im using it)

Word Count: 2,750

You scarf down your warm meal within a minute. You stare at the now bare platter in front of you and smile. This is the fifteenth warm meal you’ve had in the last five days. Breakfast, lunch, dinner, breakfast lunch and dinner. Ben never misses a meal for you. You’re slowly getting healthier. The second day you were here was very challenging for you. You had broken out with a severely high fever. You couldn't control your shaking and could barely keep anything down. You had passed out three times in that day. What caused the fever? You two were still uncertain. You were so dehydrated and weak, it could've been triggered from anything. But you’re better now. Your skin is gradually getting its color back, the bags underneath your eyes are slightly less dark and now you can officially stand up without feeling like you’re going to tumble over. And that was a great feeling.

You continue to stare at your plate while lost deep in thought, when Ben knocks on your door.

"Come in!" you call out.

The door gently opens up and he peeks in. He grins and strolls over to retrieve your empty plates.

"Good?" he asks.

"Delicious." you reply back.

He smiles and walks to the window and pulls open the curtains. You gather your hair into a ponytail and hold it with a rubber band. Your hands feel your scalp and it's, of course, oily. You quickly become self conscious around Ben and look away. You don't want him to notice how scummy you must look. When you have no water to take showers with, it's kind of hard to maintain your hygiene. Ben looks over to you and you look down at your hands and your dirty nails. You try to quickly clean them.

"Hey," he says, trying to get your attention.

"Yeah?" you ask, still looking down.

"Follow me."

You look up fast, shocked. Ben walks to the door and stands there looking at you. You furrow your brows and shake your head not understanding.

"I want to show you something." he says, noticing your confused expression.

"You mean I can actually leave the room?" you ask, dramatically.

Ben fake laughs. You smile and slowly attempt to stand from the bed. Within seconds he's next to you and holding your arm. You gasp at his touch and freeze. He notices how tense you become and quickly lets go.

"I’m sorry,” he says quickly. “I was just gonna help."

"It's fine." you say back fast. "I'm fine."

You look up and half smile. Has this man housed you and fed you and kept you alive? Yes. Is the man still a vampire? Yes. Do you trust him?

No.

He takes a step back and walks to the door. You grab a hold of the medal cart that holds your IV and steady yourself. You walk towards the door and wheel it next to yourself. This is the first time you’re leaving the room since you’ve been here. You walk into the hallway and look around. A door at the end of the hall is closed. Another door beside it is closed as well. Ben starts walking to the left of your room as you pass a set of stairs that leads downstairs. You pass them and walk to another closed door. Ben opens it up and it reveals a bathroom. You stare into it confused.

"Ta da!" he sings out.

You look to him and back to the bathroom.

"Wow, um, it's big!" you say, attempting fake excitement. "But I already have a tinier version of this in my room."

He laughs and walks even further into the giant bathroom. You walk in behind him and look around. White. Everything is white. A white bathtub, a white shower, white toilet, the floors and walls are white, the counters and sink are even white. You walk in even further and notice a large cardboard box sitting on the counter. You look at it and then to Ben.

"Okay, well, while I was out, I decided to go into a store and look around. I figured, you've had a hard week, and you're a girl, and you might, maybe, like these?" he says, dragging his sentence out.

You walk to the box and slowly open it. Inside is a variety of different things. Mascara, eye liner, foundation, blush, powder, eye shadow, a toothbrush, toothpaste, deodorant, a razor, shampoo, conditioner, body wash, and last but not least, tampons. You pick up the pink box and look over to him. He's blushing and shrugs.

"I had no idea what to get. I just figured you might need-"

You put up a hand to stop him.

"It's fine. Thank you. Honestly. I don't know the last time I've seen or even worn makeup. I use to all of the time before all of...this. So, seriously. Thank you."

He smiles widely and nods. Then his head perks up a little more as he holds up a finger.

"I almost forgot. Here," he says, walking to the shower.

He opens up the door and turns the handle to the right. Water pours down from the shower head and you stand there in amazement. You’re use to toilets working, but never showers. Steam fills the room as the water continues to rush down. Ben looks to you and smiles.

"Oh, here," he says.

He slowly reaches out for your arm and you jerk away, not thinking. He looks at you and lifts his brows. You smile apologetically and allow him to touch you. He peels away the tape of the IV and slowly pulls it out. You hiss at the slight sting, but it's over quickly. He grabs the IV cart and smiles.

"I'll leave you two alone." he says teasingly.

You laugh at him and smile. He exits the room and closes the door behind him. You walk to it and out of habit, lock it. You turn back to the shower and quickly undress. You lay your clothes on the counter and catch a glimpse of yourself in the mirror. You stare as you cock your head to the side at your reflection. You’re dirty and bruised. You close your eyes and take in a deep breath. You step into the shower and feel the warm water pour over your sore back. Your muscles ache as you lean your head back and allow the water to pour over your face. You grab the body wash and lather it all over your skin. All of the mud and dirt and blood that you have collected on yourself all washes away. The bottom of the shower turns into a brown mess as it all rinses down the drain. You finally wash and condition your hair. The oiliness is officially gone! You grab the razor and shave the tiny forest on your legs and under arms. Relief. You then stand under the water for several more minutes enjoying every last drop, then you finally turn it off.

You slowly open the shower door and step out. You grab a white towel hanging a hook and dry yourself off. You wrap it around your body and walk to the foggy mirror. You wipe some steam away and stare. You’re clean! You can't help but smile. You look to the counter and grab the deodorant. Something you’ve missed so terribly! After that, you brush your teeth. The strong minty flavor over takes your taste buds. You brush and brush and brush until you feel like they're clean. You spit and wipe your mouth. You look back up and smile in the mirror to view your teeth. As you’re examining your now pearly whites, there's a light knock at the door. You pause and listen.

"It's me," calls out Ben. "I have clean clothes for you. I'll just sit them here by the door."

Before he's done talking, you walk to the door and crack it open. He looks you up and down and then to your face. You suddenly remember all you have on is a towel. You fold your arms over your chest and blush.

"Uh, here you go. They were my sisters, if that's okay. They're clean, I promise. Oh, and the, uh, underwear… I got them from the store as well. They're not my sisters." he says as he laughs.

You reach out and take the clothes. You can’t help but laugh back at him.

"Thank you," you say.

He nods his head and awkwardly takes a step back.

"Okay, I'm just gonna..."

You quickly nod your head as well.

"Oh, yeah. Me too..."

You slowly shut the door and lock it again. You look at the folded clothes and sit them on the counter. You put on the undergarments and are happy that they fit. You then slip on a black tank top and grey sweats that are tight around your ankles. A large, long sleeved maroon colored cardigan is in the pile. You slip it on and then the black socks. You examine yourself in the mirror. First clean clothes you’ve had in months. Being here has given you a lot of firsts. You grab the towel and squeeze your damp hair. You bend over and shake your head. You stand back up and the room slightly spins. You grab the counter and steady yourself. It passes.

You then look to the makeup and think to yourself for a moment. Makeup or no makeup? You haven't worn it in months. You don't really need it anymore. I mean, when vampires take over the world, makeup doesn't seem like a big issue anymore. Then again, Ben did get it for you. And it wouldn't hurt to maybe look nice for once. Maybe just some foundation. He did get the perfect shade. You grab the tiny glass bottle and shake it. You open it and pour a little on your fingers. You spread the liquid all over your face and gently massage it. Your once red skin from the hot shower is now flawless. You look down to the mascara and pick it up. You shrug, open the tube and gently swipe it all over your lashes. In an instant, your eyes are brighter. You put the mascara back and grab the liner. You slowly put a thin line of black across your lid. You pull back and make sure it looks okay. You walk to the door and take a deep breath. You slowly open it and peer out.

You take a step forward and a movement catches your eye. You look forward and the room all the way at the end of the hallway is wide open. Inside is Ben. His back is turned to you as he lifts up his shirt over his head and tosses it to the ground. You feel almost guilty for watching, but you don't look away. You watch as the muscles in his back tense up with every move he makes. He grabs a shirt that was lying on the bed and puts his arms through it and then turns around. You realize that he's going to see you, so you freeze. He looks up to you and your eyes lock. Don't look at his abs, don't look at his abs. He slips his shirt over his head and walks towards you. He stares you up and down and shakes his head.

"Wow," he says. "You look-"

"Clean?" you interrupt.

He laughs and nods.

"Definitely clean."

You smile and turn to walk back to your room. You suddenly don't feel as insecure about yourself. You sit on the bed as Ben opens the drawer to get more supplies for the IV, when all of a sudden there's a knock at the door downstairs. You both pause and look at each other fast. Your heart races as you wonder who the hell that could be? Ben closes the drawer and stands up. He looks to the hall and then back to you. He slightly smiles.

"I'll be right back. Stay here." he says almost sternly

You nod quickly as he exits the room and walks down the stairs. You jump up from the bed and tiptoe to the hallway. You stop right by the stairs and listen. You hear a voice talk and then Ben. It's another man. You can only make out the words 'girl', 'healthy' and 'eat'. Eat!? Your heart races even faster. Eat what?! Eat me!?

"That wasn't the deal!" you hear the man shout.

A loud crash vibrates through the house. You jump at the noise and run back to your room. You look around frantically. You need to hide. You run to the closet and open it. Inside it's packed with giant, heavy cardboard boxes. You look through them, but they're all filled with either clothes or books. You turn around to run to the bathroom, but are stopped in your tracks. A brunette man wearing a long black trench coat is standing in the doorway, blocking it. He's smiling at you.

"Hi there." he says.

You say nothing. You continue to watch him as he steps closer. The man looked human, yet didn’t. His skin was unusually pale and his eyes were bright red. The bags under his eyes were almost black as every vein in his body bulged. His fingernails were disgustingly long and sharp and his overall features were distorted and terrifying. You knew exactly why he looked like this. This is what happens to a vamp when they live off of human blood.

"You must be (Y/N). Ben told us all about you."

You take a step back.

"He was right, you are pretty. And skinnier than I thought.” he says disappointed. “He was suppose to fatten you up. You know, the skinny ones always taste bland."

Your body begins trembling. Fatten me up?! Ben’s job was to get you healthy and what? Eat you? What happened to not hurting you? Nothing makes sense right now. He lied. He lied to you! And now you’re about to die, all because you actually thought you could trust him. A vampire! How stupid were you?

"Oh well,” continues the man. “It doesn't matter. You'll still taste good."

And before you know it, the man lunges at you. You scream and run to your bed and jump on it. You attempt to run for the door, but he's too fast and blocks it. You stop and slowly back up. Tears flood your eyes, you can't stop them.

"Ben!" you scream out.

The man coldly laughs.

"Ben! Please!" he yells in a mocking tone. "It's no use." is all he says.

In a flash, he's in front of you with his hand tightly around your throat. You grasp his wrist and struggle to breathe. You try to fight out of his grip, but it's no use. He's too strong. The room starts to spin as you lose oxygen. You keep trying to scream for Ben, but can't.

"You know, it's a shame. He really liked you."

Just as the man reaches down to bite your neck, you hear a giant whack. The man tumbles forward as you slide to the ground. You take in a deep breath and cough. You hear another whack and look up. Ben is on top of the man, fighting him. A giant slash is on his forehead as thick black ooze pours down. Ben has a large frying pan and is slamming it into the man's head. You feel a sharp sting in your right arm and look down to it. Blood is oozing down from a long cut that you must have gotten when sliding down the wall. You look behind you and spot a sharp nail sticking out from the windowsill. You look back to Ben and you’re heart almost stops. They were both paused and glaring at you, their eyes pitch black. The man's face is snarling as he looks to your arm. A drop of blood drips down and splashes onto the hardwood floor. You look back up and in slow motion, Ben screams at you.

“RUN!”

The man is under him, trying to claw his way to you, leaving scratch marks on the floor. His actions and snarling almost turn animalistic. You finally understand what's happening. You fly up and do exactly as he says.

You run.

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