#there was a complete lack of moisture

[1990jeevas]

god bless the girls who fixed grunks hair it looks so much healthier

#shit self #he needed that conditioner ive been saying this for months #there was a complete lack of moisture

[flippedorbit]

ough strawberry jelly on a warm pancake….

#Rasp Rambles #rory look away #truly a taste like no other. this is a really good substitute for syrup <-can only handle a small amount of syrup because #it is too sweet if I have enough for a whole pancake. and dry pancakes taste weird. #like dry as in a complete lack of any moisture from any outside forces. but god I wish I had learned this sooner. #tearing this shit UP. and I don’t have to deal with the consequences of consuming more sugar than I should.

[dilftaroooo]

hii new anon🎀

ex-boyfriend gojo who has an obsession over you and has been following you around. you’ve “moved on” and invite a man to hookup but he just couldn’t make u cum. as soon as the guy leaves gojo comes over and fucks you dumb.

>.<

gojo being on the sidelines before coming in to finish the job is kinda crazy. i can imagine he followed u from the bar you were in before leaning near the door to your apartment. waiting for your hookup to leave.

★tags/tw: stalking + toxicity + bathtub sex + he fucks u with his clothes on while ur bathing + fem!reader w she/her pronouns + nipple play + unprotected sex + unsatisfied sex (with ur hookup) + ummm home invasion but not, really?? + idfk I'm not a judge + gojo kinda comes in unannounced + attempt at proofread bc im sleepy so some shit might look janky.

The small dicked fucker left as soon as he spurted over your abdomen, the runny substance cascades through the crease between the start of your thighs and the edge of your pussy, which, hasn't released a drop of arousal the whole night.

The man you hooked up with had to blow a glob of spit onto your folds before he'd rub a finger on your make-believe clit, 'Yeah, know you like that. You came to the right person, sweet thing'. Why did you even bring him over? He's not even doing this shit properly. You're sure he wouldn't know where your clit laid even if you made a map and pointed it out for him. If you're gonna be cocky at least do it right.

Your hot bath gave you more pleasure since it was the perfect ratio of water to bubbles. The white foam didn't completely submerge you and you took the time to let the liquid stray you from your mind while listening to the sound of bubbles crunching from around.

Apparently, smelling the medicinal aroma of eucalyptus must've blurred the taps of footsteps making their way into your apartment and into your master bathroom.

"There she is. Taking a bath already? Your one-time fling came here, what, not over ten minutes ago and left? I'm sure you had the night of your life." The mockery in the intruder's tone was evident with each word he spoke.

His hair was still the absence of color, resembling the white sheets stacked high at the corner of your room. His skin was pale and somewhat glossy with expensive moisturizer. Aqua spheres were decorated with flecks of adorable baby blue. He's buff, perhaps buffer than the last time you saw him. But most of everything was unchanged.

He squats next to your incredulous as well as vulnerable figure in the ivory porcelain of your bathtub.

"How'd you get in here?" You inquiry.

"It's no good to leave the keys to your apartment under that more than obvious vase next to your front door. It's corny and you can get robbed that way too." He takes a peek at nipples covered by a translucent blanket. The bubbles had disintegrated leaving you exposed from the lack of foam.

You forgot he knows about the key underneath your grandmother's vase. You're the one who told him about it and you silently wish you hadn't.

"Well, congratulations on committing a federal crime. Now leave, Satoru."

"Oh, but darling you trusted me enough to tell me about those keys so I'm doing nothing wrong. Now, enlighten me, did that guy make you come so hard that he had you seeing stars?"

The lukewarm water kisses your pores in an attempt to soothe your beating heart. The scent of your ex was still riddled with that same lustful scent of mint and cinnamon, a cologne that you remember gifting him for the sole reason of how arousing it was paired with taut muscles and blue eyes.

You felt like a needy omega, shaking in the comfort of your den as your eyes water at the sight of your alpha and cowering at the pheromones leaking off his body and into your awaiting nostrils. He smells so fucking good.

"I know you heard me, sugar plum." You won't forget how much he loved to jeer at you. He wanted to hear you admit how much of a bad fuck your hookup was and how he didn't even get you to come. How you wished it was Satoru that took his place and filled your achy cunt til his balls smack your ass.

You adjust your seating when a warm palm engulfs your cheek whole. Not a trace of your skin color reveals itself under Satoru's hand. He's big even when squatting down to your size. The scowl on your face juxtaposes the grin on Satoru's.

"That's none of your business. We're not together anymore. Stop riding my dick."

"Though I do love a good ride, I think it's you who wants to do the riding, sweetheart."

Fingers crawl over your neck, down to the tops of your breasts, and onto your perky nipples. He continues to tease you by drawing circles around them making you tremble with unadulterated desire.

"Am I wrong? You can't even look me in my eyes. Bet you're not even aware of how heavy you're breathing. Poor girl. He didn't give you what you wanted. Say it." It almost sounded commanding if not for the lithe of his voice

"Fuck, hah, fuck you, Satoru..." The man cheeses.

"Right now?"

"Shit, yes."

"Knew you’d come around."

His patience must've ran thin because he didn't even bother taking his clothes off. Only unzipping his flyer to pull out his aroused dick and fleshy balls before joining you in the now cold water.

You were still his pretty princess as you took him in deep into your cavern, the bath water that surrounded you sloshed with every dominant thrust Satoru pounded you with and you did nothing but moan the name of your supposed ex like a vintage record player.

"Was he able to reach that spot that you liked hit, baby?"

"Mm-mm." You muffled.

"And why is that, huh?" His cock has that cute upturn that repeatedly nudges at your slimy walls which encourages your arousal to spill and combine with the bath water. You were better off taking a shower.

"Because he wasn't you." Your words came out in increments as he beats your pussy raw. The sound of almost every syllable slurred like a drunken man's tongue.

"That's it. You got it now, darling. You still missed me, didn’t you?" The fabric of his clothes is now soaked due to his stubbornness but there was no room for complaints when cotton and denim cling to jutting muscles. The pink of his areolas revealed itself under wet clothes. His nipples were as hard as yours. “Let me show you how it’s done.”

#gojo x reader #gojo satoru x reader #gojo smut #gojo satoru smut #jujutsu kaisen x reader #jujutsu kaisen smut #gojou satoru x reader #jjk smut #tw:stalking

[citrustan]

slipping through my fingers [prologue] (myg)

pairing: min yoongi x reader genre: dilf!yoongi, exes and co-parents au, angst, fluff, smut summary: you've always thought you had it way too easy. all of a sudden, your life seems to be taking a few unexpected turns. it's time your luck ran out. word count: 1.4k warnings: none, you're all good > : )

The soft whirring sound of the radiator echoed through your cozy apartment.

It’s homey and comforting to hear the constant hum in the background. Sometimes, you’d leave the window open for the cold air to enter your space just so you had an excuse to use your radiator.

Still, you ought to get that fixed up before your ex-boyfriend lectures you about getting a new one already.

It was one of those days when time seemed to have slowed down. As you folded your daughter’s fresh laundry, you went over your tasks for the day.

You were in no hurry because for once, you had everything together.

The living room bathed in the sun’s golden hue.

Your daughter sat on her favourite spongy floor mat, completely absorbed in creating her new art piece. Her fingers were covered in pink, purple and white paint.

Momentarily pausing, you take note of what type of paint she used.

Acrylic.

You sigh. That would be a pain to clean off.

After putting away the laundered clothes, you remind your daughter to get into the bath.  

You stood in front of her with your hand on your hips, “Nao, do you want mommy to run you a warm bath or would you rather shower?”

She simply hums.

“Mommy needs to shower too. You better get in there…” You walk away after adding, “Before I do.”

At that, Naomi instantaneously stops and rushes into the bath.

Naomi was a lot like you. She hated using wet bathrooms, as do you. But motherhood had changed you. Now, you’d do just about anything for your daughter.

As if you just remembered, you yelp, “Hold on! Let me clean the paint off of you first.”

You didn’t want your pristine white bathroom tiles to stain.

After bathing and dressing your daughter in a sage green cotton dress that you stitched yourself, you decide to let her watch TV even though it isn’t time for that just yet.

“Is daddy coming to get me today?” Naomi’s enthusiastic voice stopped you. It’s a bittersweet moment for you. On one hand, you’re happy that your daughter’s happy, on the other, you’re reminded that Yoongi and you aren’t together anymore.

“Of course, he is. It’s Friday!” You match her tone. She perks up and resumes watching the Barbie movie you put on for her.

Naomi would be distracted for a good thirty minutes now.

That does not leave you a lot of time for your ‘everything’ shower, but you were aiming high either way.

While in the shower, you let your thoughts wander to Yoongi.

He suggested you have dinner together because he had a few things to discuss with you.

You don’t think too much of it. It’s probably something about his upcoming business trip. You’ve got everything covered either way.

Your breakup was… inevitable. It wasn’t mutual at first, but you knew it’s where you were headed to.

After five years of dating, while simultaneously parenting Naomi, you wanted to get married. Yoongi didn’t.

You yearned for the validation and commitment of marriage, while Yoongi held steadfast to his belief against it. He refused to confine himself to a traditional marriage.

When you opened up to him about your insecurities about him leaving you for someone else, he grappled to reassure and console you. It worked for about a month.

Your differences, once manageable, had now grown into impossible divides, creating a rift that stretched beyond mere disagreement.

Self-doubt and a lack of validation destroyed your relationship.

The water had almost run cold by the time you finished your shower routine.

You pick out a sage green dress for yourself, similar to Naomi’s, just longer.

In no hurry, you moisturize and blow-dry your hair.

Even though you’re broken up, you still try to dress up for him. You don’t know why.

Apart from some lingering stares, there hasn’t been any sign of a reconciliation since you broke up. Yet, you always try to look good for him.

Although, that’s just who you are. You’d dress up for anyone. But, it’s still different with Yoongi. You especially enjoy his compliments.

The doorbell rang, forcing you to hurry and spritz on the first perfume bottle you touch.

“Don’t open the door! You don’t know who it is!” You warn Naomi, but to no avail.

He’s early today.

Naomi races you to the door, “It’s daddy!” You let her win. You rush to tidy up the living room as you walk to the door.

“You’re so early!” Your daughter clings to his leg. Yoongi laughs and drags his foot in.

“How are my girls feeling?” He smirks at you. “A little troubled now that you’re here.” You bicker.

Yoongi vocalizes a groan, “Why’s mommy so mean to daddy?” He directs it to Naomi.

You smile and wait by the coat hanger stand to receive his jacket.

The apartment feels a little livelier every time he stops by.

“Why are you here so soon? I haven’t even begun cooking yet.” You walk into your kitchen to quickly gather ingredients to prepare a fresh pasta dough.

“No reason.” Yoongi cleared his throat, “Let me help you cook.” You gladly accept his help.

You assign both Nao and Yoongi to make the sauce and the salad.

Soon, your kitchen was filled with the clatter of pots and pans and laughter.

₊˚ ‿︵‿︵୨୧ · · ♡ · · ୨୧‿︵‿︵ ˚₊

After dinner, Naomi spends time watching TV and working on her masterpiece.

In the serene quiet of your kitchen, the clinking of dishes echoed softly as you and Yoongi worked in unison, a familiar rhythm of cleaning up after a shared meal.

The warmth of the evening meal lingered; the comforting ambiance contrasted with the weight of the impending conversation.

Yoongi sighed for the fifth time that evening before you finally asked him, “What is it you wanted to talk about? Is everything okay?”

As you wiped a bowl dry, you stole a glance at Yoongi, noticing the hint of unease in his demeanour. Your heart fluttered with a sense of foreboding, sensing something amiss.

Yoongi paused for a moment; his hands still submerged in soapy water. "I... I have something I need to tell you."

You laughed uneasily, “I know. Spit it out already. You’re worrying me.”

The air around you felt heavier.

You set down the dishcloth, turning to face him, a sense of apprehension settling in.

Yoongi stared back into your eyes.

"I... I'm getting engaged," Yoongi finally uttered, his words hanging heavily in the air.

WHAT?

The world seemed to pause for a moment as you tried to process his words.

Your chest tightened, emotions swirling within you—a mix of surprise, disbelief, and an (un)expected pang of sorrow.

You searched his eyes for reassurance, for any sign of hesitation or doubt.

"Engaged?" Your voice was barely a whisper.

You’re hoping he misspoke. Maybe he’s getting engraved or encased or embraced.

Yoongi nodded, his expression a blend of remorse and an unspoken plea for understanding. "It's been on my mind for a while."

“Has it, now?” You scoffed.

WOW, really?

You didn’t even know he was seeing someone like that.

Even though you’re broken up, you feel cheated on in some way.

“I don’t know what to say.” You deadpan.

Your conversation was interrupted by the distant sound of Naomi's laughter, a stark reminder of the delicate balance you maintained for your daughter's sake.

"I wanted you to know first," Yoongi added softly, his eyes a mosaic of regret and an unspoken apology. One that you don’t want to acknowledge or accept.

Swallowing the lump in your throat, you look down at your floral dishcloth.

You have a lot of questions but you don’t really want answers to all of them.

Yoongi feels ashamed of himself. But he knew he’d have to have this conversation with you someday. The sooner the better. He thoroughly beat himself up for this too.

You excused yourself promptly, “I’ll check on Nao.” Yoongi simply nodded.

Alone in the quiet of the short hallway that connects the kitchen to your living room, you leaned against the wall. A mix of emotions threatened to overwhelm you. You took a deep breath, bracing yourself against the ache in your chest.

₊˚.🎧 ✩｡ in my dreams by red velvet ₊˚.🎧 ✩｡

note: this is a self-indulgent drabble series i'm writing, nothing is planned and i'll just write as i go

i hope u guys enjoy it!

find the series masterlist here.

#fic: slipping through my fingers #yoongi x reader #yoongi fic #yoongi smut #yoongi x oc #yoongi fanfic #bts angst #bts x reader #yoongi x you #min yoongi x reader #suga x reader #suga fic #suga angst #min yoongi smut #min yoongi x you #min yoongi x oc #dilf yoongi

[sageispunk]

What U Need (18+)

Kinktober prompt: exhibitionism (day 3)

pairing: Joel Miller x f!reader

summary: Teasing Joel underneath a table in a bar sometimes leads to getting ruined on the side of the road.

"Your hands trailed along the zipper of his jeans, fingers teasing his cock over the fabric long enough to make Joel Miller begin to fall apart right in front of you. Right here, in the middle of this bar."

wordcount: 2.5K+

warnings: no Y/N, preestablished relationship, age gap (early 20s + mid-40s), no-outbreak + no sarah, reader’s feeling a bit feral in a bar, joel doesn’t talk much at first, intoxication, teasing, exhibition/public play (no panties in public), over-clothes touching, cursing (obv), degrading language (he calls reader a “dumb fucking slut” at one point), unprotected p-in-v sex (WRAP B4 U TAP), foreplay, angry/horny joel, kinda desperate reader tbh, groping, joel gets a bit rough, the word “daddy” is used several times, dom/sub vibes, praise kink, CREAMPIE, reader has hair that can be gripped/pulled

A/N: follow my sideblog @sageispunklibrary and turn on notifs to be updated when i post!! 🩷

You were on your third– no, fourth cocktail since arriving at the bar with Joel about thirty minutes ago. Your body was so warm that you could feel your dress clinging to your skin from the light moisture. You looked across the table at Joel, who was silently people-watching as he nursed his second glass of whiskey. He looked so sexy tonight, dressed in a black crew neck shirt that was tight enough to show off the outlines of his chest and beefy biceps. He also wore the necklace you recently bought him for his birthday, a simple thin gold chain that you found that same night was nice to look at while he was propped up above you, pounding your pussy into oblivion.

The memory of that night began to play in your mind, making your body heat up even more. Your feet subconsciously moved around under the table as your thighs clenched, one of them bumping into Joel’s, bringing his attention back to you. “Y’okay there, darlin’?”

You looked into his dark chocolate eyes, and responded. “Mhm, just a little warm, is all…”

He could tell there was more but decided to leave it be, to your surprise. You could feel your frustration growing the longer you sat still in your seat. Then his phone vibrated on the table. He picked it up and let out a deep sigh as he began to type out a reply. “Work?” You asked, already knowing the answer. The only other option would’ve been Tommy, and Tommy would’ve just called.

Joel grunted out a ‘yea’ and set the phone back down. The lack of conversation had you feeling needy, not having seen him all day because of work, and even now at 10 o’clock, work was still getting in the way. You watched as he picked up the glass and knocked back the rest of his drink, the way his adam’s apple bobbed as the liquid slid down his throat had your brain feeling fuzzy.

You cleared your throat, deciding to down the rest of the margarita. Joel noticed you were finished too, and slid out of the booth. “Heading over, y’want another?” You nodded, making brief eye contact before your eyes nervously looked elsewhere. He lingered back for half a second, wondering what was making you act so strange, but decided to just head to the counter.

After Joel left, your neediness, horniness, whatever it was–it skyrocketed. Some part of you wanted to get up and drag him into the restroom so he could fuck your brains out in a filthy stall, but you knew he’d probably never go for it. Joel wasn’t a prude, far from it, but public sex wasn’t something the two of you ever got into.

Tonight though, you were feeling frisky and wanted to take some risks. Your booth was tucked away in a darker part of the bar, not many people were near you so you weren’t worried about being caught doing anything lewd. You briefly glanced around to be completely sure no one was watching, before slyly bringing your hands under the table, sliding your damp lace thong down your soft legs. Once you had the small fabric bunched up in your hands, you had to bite your bottom lip to keep a poker face. Excitement rushed through your system–paired with the alcohol, you were beginning to feel invincible.

A few moments later, Joel came back, both of your drinks in hand. As he slid back into the booth, he noticed the flustered look on your face and cocked his eyebrow a little. “Here ya go, baby.” His eyes were trained on your face as he handed it to you, the look in his eye a bit dark, calculating.

It turned you on, having no panties on in public, but even more that Joel didn’t know yet. However, you didn’t think this far ahead and you really wanted him to know as soon as possible, just to see what he might do. “Thank you, Joel..” You made doe eyes at him, taking in the way he shifted in his seat, obviously beginning to feel the effects of the brown liquor. “I missed you today, I feel like I don’t get to see you much because you’ve been working so much,” There was a slight pout in your voice, and it drew him in.

“Oh baby, I’m sorry,” His deep Texan accent paired with the petname sent a shiver down your spine, all the way to your lower belly. He leaned into the table more, face coming in closer and you could see the way his gaze kept moving back and forth between your eyes and your lips. “How can I make it up to ya?”

You mirrored his actions, leaning in on your left elbow with the side of your face in your palm, leaving only a few inches between both your faces. “Mm, I dunno, let me think..” You took this as your opportunity to sneakily find his hands under the table with your right hand, transferring the fabric to his hold. You innocently smiled at the confusion on his face while he pulled back to look at what you gave him.

“Wait don’t–” You chuckled as he almost brought the panties back over the table. Joel narrowed his eyes at you, trying to figure out what the hell you were trying to pull on him. Your eyes focused on his face, enjoying each expression on his face as he realized what he was holding.

He whispered your name, in a shocked but slightly dark tone, watching as you sat back in your seat with a big grin on your face. “What the hell do y’think you’re doin?!” He kept his voice down but the harshness remained. You could feel your seat getting wetter, your slick dripping down your thighs onto the faux leather.

With a shrug and another sip of your drink, you responded. “Just wanted to show you how much I’ve been missing you, is all.”

He was more taken aback than you expected. “By takin’ your panties off in the middle of a bar, like a fuckin’ slut??”

You leaned back in, faux innocence dripping from your lips. “I’m sorry daddy, do you not like it?” As soon as that word left your mouth, Joel’s eyes got darker, almost black. You had him. Your right hand snuck back under the table, finding its way to his crotch, where lo-and-behold sat a warm, throbbing, rock-hard cock in a tight pair of jeans. “If you don’t like it, I can put them back on. Might get caught though…” You slowly moved your hand up and down his bulge, finding pleasure in the way he struggled to keep his eyes open and stern.

“Seems you like it when I act like a slut, based on how hard your cock is for me right now.” You gave a gentle squeeze and smiled when he groaned, eyes fluttering shut and mumbling quietly. “Jesus Christ.”

Your hands trailed along the zipper of his jeans, fingers teasing his cock over the fabric long enough to make Joel Miller begin to fall apart right in front of you. Right here, in the middle of this bar.

“Alright, that’s enough.” He snapped out of it, eyes coming back up to meet yours with nothing but need in them. “Get the fuck up. Now.” You removed your hand, a bit thrown at the harshness of his voice but ultimately turned on and ready to do anything he asked of you. He threw back the rest of his whiskey and pulled out his wallet, as you sipped the remnants of your drink.

Joel threw down a wad of cash on the table before looking at you with a look that said “don’t make me repeat myself.” You stood, careful to keep your way-too-short dress below your ass, a gasp leaving your mouth at the wetness you left behind on the leather. As you took a napkin to wipe it up, Joel quickly stood up and roughly grabbed your arm to pull you in front of him, an effort to hide his huge boner from the other patrons. “Come on, sweetheart.” He gritted in your ear, letting you sort of guide him out the bar and to his truck.

For the past five minutes, Joel had been yelling your ear off. He was mad, mad that you would pull that shit in his favorite bar. Where everyone there knows him and his quiet but handy reputation. He was mad that you would risk fucking that all up ‘just for some dick.’

Like he doesn’t know the hold his dick has on you.

Anyways he shouted at you, driving about 15 over on the same dark road the two of you took to go home everyday. It didn’t bother you, really. You knew there was a chance he’d be pissed off, you were prepared. What was bothering you was the fact that you still hadn’t cum. You thought maybe he’d be mad and you would have the best angry sex of your life, right in the truck outside the bar, but nope.

“Are you even fuckin’ listening t’me?” His voice cut through your thoughts again, and you looked over, not even having to answer because he could read the look on your face. “Of course not, all you care about is your fuckin’ pussy. You probably can’t comprehend a goddamn thing I’m saying right now, can ya? Dumb fucking slut.”

The words he spit out at you had an unreal effect on you. The degradation had you sopping wet, surely soaking his seat. You tried not to squirm too much but you were in desperate need of some friction, you needed something or someone to touch you. Taking a deep sigh, you chose to not respond to him, focusing more on ways to achieve an orgasm without touch. Your thighs trembled slightly as they squeezed together, giving your clit a little extra stimulation. A breathy moan escaped your throat, catching Joel’s attention once again.

He didn’t comment this time, just glanced over at you with a look you couldn’t place. You saw him shake his head from your peripheral, but you paid him no mind, continuing your squeezing and looking out the dark window. Suddenly, the truck was pulling off onto some dark backroad that you’ve never gone on. Joel parked off on the side and cut the car off.

“What–” He cut you off. “Get out.”

You unbuckled, a bit confused but following orders nonetheless. Once you were out of the vehicle, you walked around the back where he stood. “Joel, what are we–” He grabbed you by your hair, pulling your face close to his, so that you could see him better.

“Since you can’t control yourself, we’re just gonna have to do this here.” His lips were so close to yours, you wanted so badly to move closer to feel them on your own, but his grip on you was tight. He tilted your head back with the fist in your hair, exposing your throat to him, other hand placed firmly on your jaw. When you felt his hot, wet tongue lick a stripe along your neck, you thought you would combust.

“Joooeellll…” You cried out, almost overstimulated by the way he was licking and sucking on your favorite spots. He groaned into your skin, the sound sending a pang to your lower stomach. God, he needs you as much as you need him.

You brought one hand down to his cock–still hard as a rock in his jeans–groping and squeezing the bulge, pulling more deep groans out of him. He took a break from his conquest on your neck and chest, turning you around to face the tailgate of his truck. “Fuck, darlin’...you’ve been wanting this all night, huh?”

You shook your head. “All day, daddy.”

“Say it again.” He ground into your ass with his cock, and you pushed back, wishing he would just take them off.

“I’ve been thinking about you fucking me all day, daddy. I want your cock so bad, I need it in me please, just fuck me please…” You rambled, desperately needing him to ruin you.

You heard his zipper open, then the shuffle of his jeans down his legs, and you felt as though you’d been lost in the desert for weeks and finally, you’ve come across a cold spring of water. “One more time for me, baby.”

“Please fuck me daddy.” You cried out, not caring if anyone could hear you, even though it was unlikely in this rural area. As soon as the last word left your mouth, Joel pushed you forward slightly, causing your dress to finally roll up to your waist, and slid right inside of you, the both of you groaning in unison. He pulled back out slowly, drawing a long wail of his name out of your throat, before he quickly thrusted back inside of your warmth. His long, thick cock stretched you out and filled you up to the brim, reaching your favorite spot with each thrust. “Fuck, baby, goddamn this pussy is so fucking wet f’me…” Joel groaned praise into your ear, one hand still in your hair and the other now gripping your hip.

You used the little energy you had left to meet his rhythm, throwing your ass back to him, occasionally receiving a hard slap or two. “Joellll, baby, fuck!” Those three words made up your only vocabulary for a couple minutes, until he got you right there, at the edge.

“I’m so close, daddy.”

“I know baby, I can feel it, let go f’me okay. Cum for me sweetheart, you got it.” The degradation from only a few moments ago paired with the sweet things he was now panting in your ear had you about to explode. One of your hands gripped onto the tailgate and the other went straight to your clit, rubbing as fast as you could.

All you could hear was your own breathy moans, paired with Joel’s deep groans and the sloppy, gushing, wet unity of your two bodies.

Your entire body tightened up as you tipped over the edge, finally getting that release that you’ve needed all day. You screamed out in total bliss, your eyesight leaving you for a few moments. Right behind you, Joel let out a longggg groan, crying out to you. “Fuck, baby I’m cumming.”

“Cum for me, daddy, fuckkkk..” You felt him pulsing inside you, filling you up until it was leaking out around his cock. His hips slowed and stuttered, eventually slowing way down, his upper body resting on your back. “Jesus Christ,” Joel panted, leaving a couple kisses on your back.

You chuckled, all of a sudden feeling very, very tired and blissed out. Joel left one last kiss on the back of your neck before slowly pulling out, trying not to overstimulate you, with his cum spilling right after. “Oh, fuck,” you shivered.

You turned around and threw your arms over his shoulders as he pulled his jeans back up, sloppily pulling him in for a kiss, needing to feel his soft lips on yours. He obliged you for a few moments, before pulling back and grabbing something out of his back pocket.

Your panties.

“C’mon baby, let’s put these back on and head home.”

AAAAAAH finally published, i know it's past midnight now its a little late (not if we count the west coast tho hehe). but my second post (and my first joel fic)!! so excited to share this with you guys, i rlly hope u enjoy it!! please like and reblog (and leave plenty of comments) if u do. feel free to send requests/suggestions!! <333

i do not give permission for anyone to copy, translate, or repost any of my works. 18+ ONLY -- i am not responsible for the content you consume.

#kinktober #fawktober2023 #joel miller #joel miller x reader #pedro pascal #pedro pascal characters #joel miller smut #tlou fic #tlou smut #joel tlou #my writing #tlou fanfiction #the last of us hbo #the last of us #the last of us fanfiction #the last of us fic #the last of us smut #no outbreak!joel miller #joel miller x f!reader #joel miller x you #joel miller x female reader #sageispunk

[gremlingottoosilly]

Hehe so I mayyyy have stalked your account for the past hour 🙈 the content is amazing! Would it be okay to request how König would respond if his wife was big on self care/beauty. At home spa treatments, ‘everything’ showers, and extensive skincare routine… would he want in on the activities or would he be the type to just silently observe?

Consider this: Konig should have terrible skin because he literally wears his hood all the time, the sweat and grime sit on his face for so long, that it can be considered the only form of makeup he is fine with...yet somehow, with some horrible play of fate, his skin is actually pretty decent. Maybe it's his hygiene - despite all of his performative manliness and lack of desire to actually take care of himself, he showers as often as he can on his job, he covers his face from most of the blood and rubble so, in the end, he isn't as dirty as he could be. Konig doesn't understand skincare at all - he has perfect clean skin, clear from all breakouts and pimples, his teenage acne is long in the past - and he thinks that everyone has the same perfect genetics. He will buy you expensive stuff if you ask for them specifically - this man wouldn't be able to dissect moisturizer from sunscreen unless you tell him it's a form of a chemical weapon used in advanced warfare tactics. You tell him to buy Drunk elephant retinol formula, and he asks how this can be used to poison his enemies. You can rope him into doing masks with you - just for the sake of feeling nice and relaxed. Maybe something with moisture components, he likes the feeling of just laying on the bed and not having to do anything for 20 minutes, as much as he claims he hates the feeling of cold gel on his face and he isn't a woman to do all of those skincare sets. He strictly believes that his dick would fall off if he would actually show interest...so he pretends he doesn't like it. nope. not at all. He is glad to buy you all of the stuff you want though - he is extremely observant and he looks at what things you're using and what is running out, so you're completely convinced that miniature bottle of clinique tonic is endless and you've been using the same bottle for three month already. He replaces everything silently, the gals at Sephora giving him a rough time because they are convinced that a burly silent man who towers over every aisle is going to rob them.

#cod #konig x reader #konig

[m-ayo-o]

18+ SMUT NSFW / 21+ megumi - sex after separation: limited prep, pulling out. (reupload ~ got comm guidelines on this of all the things i've put here lol)

He's been away on the longest mission. You curse his blindfolded senior for taking your man away from you.

But now he's home, you couldn't be more glad to get in the shower with him, cook a wholesome meal and tend to his minor injuries. You stay awake a little too late, just mesmerised by him finally lying next to you again. He's too exhausted to tell you to stop staring, so he just closes his pretty eyes and has the longest, most rejuvenating sleep he's had in weeks.

And after he stirs awake before you, stepping to and from the bathroom, your eyes peek open just in time to see him trudge back to bed.

And you stare, watching him re-enter the room with the most astounding morning wood (which bounces when he walks- he sleeps naked).

You open and close your mouth as you struggle for words. Your first thought was to tease him, but you can't. It's been so long for you as well - you know how it feels. Kind of.

It's not as if you haven't been... pleasuring yourself, but for him, he's gone weeks without so much as a gentle touch on his body.

He's been thinking of you though, all that time, when he was lying next to his fellow sorcerers, unable to quench the need in his guts to tug himself off to your image. He has committed every beautiful feature of your body to his memory; every freckle, every curve and dip, every scar. And you're always on his mind, whether he's awake or sleeping, which slowly builds his frustrations as the days go by.

You know he must've really struggled this time.

"Megumi-" you prop yourself up in bed as he sits down, getting under the covers with you again.

He gives you a look. Kind of sad. Kind of needy.

And he just gets on his side, drags you back under the duvet and wraps his arms around your middle in the tightest cuddle. He presses his lips over your nape, down your shoulders, over your strappy pyjamas and just holds you.

After some time, his hands start to wander and he squeezes you- your waist, your ass, then he settles on your chest, kneading your boobs gently.

"I missed you"

He finally whispers against your neck.

"Feeling so... pent up."

He admits with a groan, as he starts grinding his erection over your plush ass and up your back.

"Use me, then"

"Oh, princess, no you can't say stuff like that-" his face scrunches into a little grimace, feeling the ache of his cock. He swears his balls are gonna go completely blue.

"'m not gonna last long- I, I-"

"Please, do it quick, I need you-"

You grind against him now, rubbing his shaft up and down, feeling him getting hotter.

He tugs your skimpy pyjamas away and pushes you open from behind, lifting your leg to slip his cock in between your squishy thighs.

He guides himself to your warm, soft pussy and edges in. And, with the baseline level of moisture in there, he can just about get inside. It's tight, with a little sting, but you honestly don't care. You push back on him and he grunts and growls until he's buried in you.

He fucks you like an animal in heat, with your leg in a vice like grip, his hips hammering into you. With a swift motion he pushes you onto your front, without his cock slipping out, then moves to straddle your thighs. He gets on top of you and just loses it.

"Not gonna- last-"

He presses your ass open and squeezes your cheeks, pounding into you. You grab at the sheets, trying to angle yourself to allow him to get as deep as possible.

"Yeah, do that- fuck, push that ass out for me, uh huh l-ike that-"

He presses you into the bed and gives you the most intense backshots, your pussy just throbbing with the full, fat length of him. You swear, after this break- of not being filled for weeks, and with his lack of contact- it's the biggest he's ever felt. He's so swollen and hard, his balls so heavy with every slap against your skin. And it's making you crazy.

"Love it when you fuck me like this-" you whimper into the pillow, "feels like you need me so bad-"

"I do, fuck, I do need you-"

He grabs at your hair now, one hand still resting firm on your ass.

"Need you, I love you so fucking much- waiting for me and, ahh-and letting me use this sweet pussy-"

"Love y-you Megumi~" your toes curl with the most intense orgasm, your gripping and clenching just urging him to cum.

"Fuck- c-lose, I'm close-"

And without any more warning he pulls out, leaving you feeling shocked and empty, and sprays his load up your back and over your ass.

"Fuck, fuck-- ugghh!!"

He wipes his tip over your cheeks and squeezes the last drops of cum out, panting hard.

"Again?" He breathes heavy and pushes his hair out of his face.

"Need to show you- how much I missed you."

megumi

#jujutsu kaisen #jjk x reader #jjk smut #jujutsu kaisen smut #female reader #megumi fushiguro #18+ content #megumi x reader #tw: sex

[deblklesb]

OMG IMAGINE CAM GIRL READER X CAMGIRL ABBY

OMG IT WOULD BE SO GOOD, ANON YOUR FUCKING MIND?!?!?!?!!!!{£{€{`×¥=¢{€[[£%©©]¢=©[!]][][?!?!?!@((#)$_! (MDNI)

I imagine both of you would have twtt accounts for the streaming service, like interacting with ppl, posting some stuff there too like clips and photos, tweeting horny stuff, etc., and you would comment on each other's photos ALL THE TIME. Flirting and shit, you would be a hazard to society.

@/AAndrsnStuff • your boobs would look so good with my hands around them ☝🏻

It's what Abby comments on a photo of your boobs not at all covered by your white top.

@/nsfwmanace • i just know you're right but i would like empirical proof

On another day she posts a video of herself in boxers and tank top, her hand sprawled on her strong thigh as she fixed herself on a chair and the muscles of that insane body made themselves clear.

@/nsfwmanace • please lord and savior jesus christ forgive me for i have sinned. i just squirted watching this video and i hope to be completely demolished by this woman 🛐

@/AAndrsnStuff • don't go wasting your juices when i should be tasting it 😔😔

And so it goes. One day you even watch one of ger streams and vice-versa, untill the time comes and you are the one texting her about a collab. She immediately agrees.

Being the type to go on absolutely whore mode when making collabs, you weren't ready for the reactions of your body to Abby. Of course you had pleasure with other women and camgirls, it was mostly very good, but goddamn you weren't ready for Abigail Anderson.

Not for the way your mind went completely blank with the size difference between you both, or her strength and the fact she could carry you around like a ragdoll, or for the lack of words when contemplating her features as she kept fucking your brain out.

She made you ride her fingers and then you got too lost on a 69, tasting her moistures as she lapped your cunt so good. Head between her thighs got you whiny and unhinged. She liked to grope your flesh just too much, to kiss your boobs and pull your hair.

"That was too good", she murmured against your neck when you were done, biting slightly there.

"Yeah", you answered, heavy breaths and tired muscles. "Too good", her skin felt good under your palm. "I would do this anytime soon without the recording situation"

"Agreed"

And oh, little does your viewers know but you both repeat that situation many, many times...

#asks #ask #anon #abby anderson #abby tlou2 #deblklesb #abby x reader #abby tlou #abby anderson x reader #abby anderson x reader headcanon #abby x reader headcanon #abby x reader smut #headcanon #abby anderson headcanon #au: camgirl abby x camgirl reader

[beelmons]

cw: i dont even know, cock sucking!!!!, slight exhibitionism, kind of dom!spencer but not completely, he teaches!!!

A/N: as a gift for my lovely adorable wife @ihavemanyhusbands i have written this, again pure filth like i know she likes &lt;3 (coulda be more puerco tbh)

“...and now, Dr. Reid will explain a bit more about the course content to the board, this with the purpose of seeking the approval for it to become a curricular class. Dr. Reid, you have our attention.” the head of the psychology department offered the floor to Spencer. 

“Right, hello, my name is Dr. Spencer Reid, I hold various credentials in psychology and sociology and I’m what’s commonly known as a profiler with the FBI.” he cleared his throat slightly, his voice being oddly coarse “Please excuse my turned-off camera, I’m feeling a tad ill.” 

Whenever he had online meetings with the school staff he was always so proper, that’s why it was so amusing, to you, to see him sitting there lying his ass off. Granted, he was not all that well, his body had woken up with painful stiffness, or rather, it was a specific part of him, and you were already taking care of it. 

You felt him twitch in your mouth when he began explaining, his voice having trouble keeping a steady, professional tone as he normally did. Something about the curriculum of the class, you couldn’t care less, especially when his delicious precum had begun to leak against your tongue; his hands were moving as they usually did when he talked, even when the rest of the members couldn’t see him. 

Every couple seconds he would fall silent to contain a moan, take a deep breath, fake a cough, and excuse himself before he continued talking. You decided to give him a small break, your lips leaving his shaft free to interrupt the stimuli; he seemed to relax when he noticed the lack of contact, regardless of how much he was enjoying it, and that didn’t sit right with you. Your mouth changed targets instead, and so it latched onto one of his testicles. It was a wet, hungry, and messy suck, and once you were satisfied with the moisture your tongue left on it, you let go with a loud pop. 

You were able to appreciate his ears reddening in shyness, unsure if the sound could be heard by the rest of the people involved in the call. You sort of guessed he would look down at you disapprovingly, so you placed your face right below his cock and wore your most innocent, merry-go-lucky smile. He stole a glance, as expected, underneath the desk where his laptop was laying, and in between his legs, the place you had made a nest for yourself in, could see the vivid image of your angelic face tainted by the lewdness of his hardened dick, the perfect contrast he adored so much. The sight made his member pulse up, and it tapped at your cheek when it landed back down. 

He continued to talk and leave you neglected, much to your disapproval, so you decided to continue with your little game. Your head went back to bobbing itself, sloppily, onto his cock, tongue pressed firmly to taste every bit of flesh available to it. 

“...and that’s the overall impact we expect it to have on psychology graduates. Thank you.” he finally wrapped up his speech. 

“Thank you, Dr. Reid. Now, the board will present arguments in favor or against adding the class to the regular curriculum…” the chairman prompted the continuation of the meeting. 

You heard a small click of a button, and that’s when you realized he had muted the mic, and it was your turn to receive a fraction of his attention. He pushed his chair back, forcing you to let go of your preferred suck treat, so he could properly look at you. His hand grabbed at your chin to have you staring at his face. 

“Are you insane? Do you want me to lose my job?” he asked with seriousness, but the rapid breathing told you he was more than enjoying the little service. 

“A little.” you said halfheartedly “It kinda interferes with my job.” 

he raised his eyebrows in disbelief “Really? And what job is that, exactly?” he said in a sarcastic tone. 

“I’m a professional cock sucker, of course.” the twinkle in your eye as you joked made his heart flutter in ways only you could achieve. 

“Come on, up.” he said, slightly pulling on your chin to drag you out “Up, up.” he continued to command. 

You grumbled in complaint as you crawled from underneath the wooden furniture and got up. Maybe you had done it this time, you finally tested his endless patience. You had begun thinking how to apologize to him, after all you really didn’t mean any harm. Your train of thought was interrupted, however, by a grip on your hips that directed you to his lap, not quite letting you take a seat but rather hover over him with your back facing his front. 

Without being able to fully process what was going on, one of his fingers pushed the fabric of your panties aside; the previous night had been a hot one, so you had slept in your underwear. He grabbed his cock by the base to align his tip with your entrance, and with an abrupt movement he pushed you down, filling you up immediately. 

Your hands landed on the desk to give you something to grip on and keep yourself steady as his hips bounced you up and down. You almost immediately began to moan in pleasure, head thrown back in ecstasy. In front of you, you could see the laptop laying about, with the people of the meeting still talking about something you didn’t understand, and didn’t care to understand; your hands wandered to the mouse pad on the machine, dangerously moving the cursor over the camera toggle button, if you were to, say, accidentally press on it, everyone would see who the respected Dr. Reid really was, the cunt addict that hid behind the professional facade of a genius. 

“Don’t even think about it.” as if he could read your mind, his arms left your hips to grab yours instead. 

The grip was slightly painful as he pulled them behind your back, swiftly keeping them behind you, away from the device, with some force. He couldn’t see the mischievous grin on your face, having been caught made you feel the best type of naughty. His thrusts had gotten rougher, his pretend anger showing in his movements, his groans were a delight to your ears, head shoved against the fabric of your pajama top trying to contain his sounds. He had long forgotten about whatever the board was saying, too lost in the velvet sensation of your walls clenching around him, and praying to tesla that he could fuck you a bit longer before he eventually bursted with the orgasm he had been wanting to experience for the last twenty minutes. 

“Then, that concludes our meeting, the board’s resolution will be given the day after tomorrow. Now, as it’s pertinent we need to take a picture to commemorate the board reunion, so I’ll ask you to open your cameras for a little bit, that includes you, Dr. Reid, I promise it will be quick.” the man on the screen said. 

“Shit-” Spencer emitted as the mention of his name suddenly snapped him to the reality of his event. He tried to push you off his cock, but you childishly pressed yourself further down. “Come on!” he complained “At least hide!” 

He began to panic seeing that everyone else was waiting for him to open the camera lens for the picture. In the rush, he pushed you down by the head, forcing you to get under the desk, or rather only half of your body under the desk. In the process, he hit your forehead lightly with one of the corners. 

“Spencer!” you yelled at him in complaint, and he muttered a quick ‘sorry’

Your position ended up completely awkward, his cock still in your cunt, your feet firmly on the ground, and your body bent forward underneath the desk, your hands managed to press themselves on the floor as well to keep the balance, but you huffed offendedly at how he had left you. 

“Excuse me, I was just freshening up a bit.” he said, and you could deduce he had toggled the camera and the mic on “I’m ready.” 

You weren’t going to give him the satisfaction of manhandling you like that, he had to suffer for it a little bit. Your hips began to rock in a circular motion as you rocked back and forth, fucking yourself to his dick. Soft moans left your lips even when your arms were beginning to get tired, your walls clenching around his member with the speed of an approaching orgasm. 

You couldn’t see him, but the blush on his ears had spread to his entire face, his entire lower body began to spasm; his hand gripped tightly onto your buttock trying to stop your movement, but you were not to be contained anymore, your hips continued their rhythm, and you could feel his fingers getting more desperate to stop you. No wonder, since seconds later you could feel yourself being filled up with his cum. 

He tried to keep his apparent composure on camera, even when you heard his pleasured whine echo throughout his studio room, accompanied with your moan of pleasure as you came undone against his cock. 

“Thank you, everyone, for your time and attention, oh, and Dr. Reid.” the chairman spoke again “Please take something for your fever, you look awfully flushed.” 

“Will do.” he simply answered with his signature awkward smile and a nod to go along. 

Once you had ridden your climax down, you attempted to crawl from under the desk to set his member free. Naive movement on your part, since the second he began to slide out of you his hands roughly pulled your hips back again, having himself fully covered by your pussy once more. 

“Not so fast.” 

You couldn’t see his face, but the tone of his voice sent shivers down your spine. It was time for punishment, time for retaliation.

#spencer reid #spencer reid x reader #spencer reid x reader smut #spencer reid x you #spencer reid x you smut #spencer reid smut #criminal minds #blurb: mine #spencer reid blurb

[luveline]

okok if you'd be into it, maybe Roan seeing reader in the supermarket and slipping away from Eddie to go and say hi? like he looks down from where he was reading the label on something and just panics 'cause wheredidshegoohmygod

you are the GOAT babe! absolutely best idea ever ever I owe u my life. kind of single dad Eddie losing his mind while u and his kid bond <3 | fem!reader

Eddie's completely unaware that you're even at Bradley's Big Buy. Him and Roan have only stopped by for some princess bandaids to cover her skimmed knees. She's calmer now she knows the princess bandaids are an inevitability, but she'd been near inconsolable on the drive here.

"You feeling better?" he asks hopefully, swinging her small hand gently as he walks.

He's taking slow steps to match her. They've made a one minute walk to the toiletries into five minutes and counting.

"Maybe," she says.

He almost regrets teaching her the word 'maybe'. Everything is maybe these days.

"What can I do to get a 'yes', huh?"

She wriggles her fingers in his. He gives her a nice squeeze and waits hopefully, pulling her past the aisle of shampoos and then the aisle of deodorants to the one beside it, first aid and ointments and things.

"Y/N," she says with surety.

"She's coming over again next week, babe."

"Now?" she says, or asks.

He stops in front of the plasters. "I wish, sweetheart. Alright, here's the bandaids... But where..." He frowns at the lack of pink bandaids and kneels down to search for them. There's puppies and sharks and fall leaves, but no princesses. He drops Roan's hand to push a box of plain bandaids aside. "You got along so well, I know she's excited to see you too, but I can't just ask her to come over. Well, maybe I can. How many dates do you go on before you..." He peers behind the boxes. Not a princess in sight.

He pulls away. "Baby, I don't think they have any-" Eddie stops short, a placating speech caught in his throat when he realises his daughter is nowhere to be seen.

"Roan?" he asks. With no time for her to answer, he repeats, "Roan?" loudly, loud enough to draw stares.

He swings his gaze one way and then the other, praying for a hint of her. The bounce of her little dark bunches or the flare of her dress dungarees.

Roan can hear her dad calling her, she just doesn't care. She'd seen you standing in the shampoo aisle debating between bottles and needed to come and see you.

You shrug and drop a blue bottle that brags moisture and definition into the basket and go to move to the deodorants in the next aisle when you feel something tug your skirt.

You look down and see a little kid.

"Hi, baby, are you lo- Roan?"

Hard to confuse her honey brown eyes for anyone else, you stop short when you realise it's Eddie's baby.

Roan finally has confirmation that it's you and shouts exuberantly, "Y/N!"

Your heart melts. Capital M, melts. You're putty in her tiny hands. "Well hi, princess."

She beams wide as she can and holds up her arms. It's a struggle to pull her into your chest — you're not as adept as juggling her with one full hand as Eddie is and you doubt you ever will be — but you make up for your clumsiness with pure adoration. She's just as pretty as her dad and twice as charming, wrapping her arms around your neck and ducking her forehead to your collar in a hug.

"Aw," you croon, patting her back. "Hi, baby. How are you?"

"I got an owie," she says very quietly. There's a soft whine to her voice like she might cry.

You encourage her head back to look at her. "Yeah? What have you hurt, sweetheart? And where's your daddy?"

You look over her head suddenly, half-expecting Eddie to be standing there watching. He's not. The aisle is completely empty. You walk to the end of the aisle in hopes that he's gonna be coming around the corner. No dice.

"Roan, where's daddy?" you ask seriously.

She looks as pensive as a three year old can. "I want the princess ones."

"Princess what?" you ask distractedly, eyes searching the store for Eddie.

Music plays loudly over the speakers, an old Bowie song. You can barely hear her answer. "For the owies."

You make a decision without thinking. Yes, Eddie's probably very worried that Roan isn't with him, but she keeps talking about a mysterious owie and you'd found her by herself, so you prioritise her hurting over his.

Sorry, Eddie, you think.

"What did you hurt? D'you wanna show me?"

She points down.

You hold her away from you (kind of, this carrying thing is hard) and find the rips in her thick wool tights edged in red.

"Oh no! You poor girl, I know that must've hurt. Did daddy kiss them better?" you ask sympathetically, wincing as you assess the surface scrapes on her knees. Bloody, but with no deep cuts you think she'll be okay.

"Yeah," she says tearfully. To your horror, her eyes start to well up. You've reminded her that she's hurting. It's not a good move.

"Oh no," you repeat, rubbing up and down the breadth of her back.

She's heavier than she looks and your basket makes your wrist ache but you refuse to put her down. Her crumpled face strikes a fear like God and you reckon putting her down will make it a whole lot worse.

You've yet to see her tantrum as Eddie promises she does. This feels awful enough, you decide, to see her actually upset about something. You flail to make her feel better.

"What can I do, sweetheart? Shall we go find you some bandaids?" you ask softly. She nod slow and rubs her eyes with her fists.

You hike her up your chest and move out of the aisle. As soon as you do you're almost knocked over, a fast-moving body smashing into your basket and tugging your arm. You shriek and Roan shrieks and Eddie stops in front of you, dark curls framing a frantic face, and says, "Thank fuck."

"Don't repeat that," you tell Roan.

"Y/N," Eddie says. Your name is sweet on his lips, affection and relief and gratitude. "Oh my god."

He laughs and then keels over.

"Eddie!" You drop your basket and it slams to the floor, reaching for his back.

"I'm okay!" he says, equally abrupt and stressed. He scratches two hands through his hair before he emerges and scrapes it all away from his cheeks, eyes bright.

He takes a deep breath. His chest rises.

His laugh is nice. You've heard it before. This one is sunshine in sound.

"I think I just had a heart attack."

"Oh my god."

"You're in my bad books," he says to Roan pointedly, glaring.

She glares back. It's amazing to you how they mimic each other, intentionally or otherwise. Twin scrunched noses, twin sloped eyebrows.

Then he dips forward and kisses her sloppy on the cheek. His smell washes over you, the unmistakable stick of engine oil hidden by too much laundry detergent. It's endearing. It makes you want a kiss on the cheek too.

"Baby," he says, voice all drama. It takes you a while to realise he's speaking to you. "I owe you my life."

"Well... actually, I think it might've been my fault. She knew it was me and-" Your eyes blow wide. "Eddie, she skimmed her knees."

"I know," he says, reaching out to squeeze your shoulder. You can feel the clear indent of every finger pressing into your skin. "That's why we're here, for princess bandaids."

He rolls his eyes as if to say, what can you do? Though his voice had been so soft when he'd reassured you, like he'd understood the stress. Well, of course he had. He knows it better than you ever could.

"Princess bandaids," you repeat, stroking a rogue curl out of Roan's eyes. She shys at your tone, fondness for her doubled now you have some context. Princess ones, princess bandaids.

"You heard about 'em?" Eddie asks knowingly.

"All about 'em." You remember yourself and move your hands to under her armpits. "Speaking of..."

Eddie holds his hands out and takes her. Upset in remembering her injured knees she goes without a fuss, clearly craving her dad's comfort. She tucks her face into his neck and all but disappears into his hair. Eddie wraps her up tight, the last bit of nervous tension he'd been holding slipping away.

"We should go get some," he finishes.

You shift onto the side of your foot. "Maybe I can help look?" you ask.

Eddie grins at you. It's a cheeky kind of smile.

I see through you, it says.

"What do you think, baby? Think Y/N can come help us find some bandaids for your owie?" he murmurs.

She mutters something into his neck. He whispers something back, pats the top of her shoulders, and kisses her head.

"What'd she say?" you ask apprehensively.

Your awkward smile must amuse him, must endear him, something, because he smiles at you with his lashes kissing in the corners and elbows you with a great laugh.

"She asked if you'd kiss her owies too."

Oh my god. "Of course I will."

"That's what I told her," he says.

You pick up your basket and trip over yourself as you follow him into the first aid aisle. You're frenetic and awkward under Eddie's steady gaze, a bumbling mess of nerves and shakey giggles, but when it's your turn to kiss Roan's scraped knees, you're perfect.

-

more eddie n roan

#eddie munson x reader fluff #eddie munson x y/n #eddie munson x reader #eddie munson x you #eddie munson #eddie munson imagine #eddie munson fanfiction #eddie munson fanfic #stranger things x reader #stranger things fic #stranger things #dad!eddie munson #eddie munson x fem!reader #fem!reader #eddie munson fic #eddie and roan

[epicbuddieficrecs]

Weekly Recap | March 25th-31st 2024

Happy late Easter if you celebrate! I had four days off soooooo as you can see, this is a long one 😆 (honestly feels like I spent the entire fucking day working on this!!)

OMG those stills last week? That episode synopsis? can't WAIT for 7x04 !!!!

(There's a couple of people not tagged, if you know them, please tag the min the comments!)

Complete

🔥 A Million Pretty Pieces by ShesLikeTexas / @shesliketexas-17 (Sentinel/Guide AU, Canon Divergent, SEAL!Buck | 251K | Teen): After enduring countless procedures to save his older brother, Evan Buckley is only four-years-old when he manifests as the youngest Guide in human history. The Global-Sentinel-Guide-Association brings one of their finest mentors, Bobby Nash, out of retirement to help train the young Guide.

When You Gimme Those Ocean Eyes by Princessfbi/ @princessfbi (Post-Tsunami, Mermaid!Buck | 5K | General): The loft was dark and stilted like Buck hadn’t even bothered to turn on the lights when he got home but the air was thick with moisture. Maddie heard the shower first and then the pitiful, pained whimper next. “Buck!” Maddie moved in through the loft to the bathroom and pushed open the door. She was met with a face of trapped steam that seeped into her skin and made her lungs release a tension she didn’t know she’d been holding. But that tension returned tenfold as she flipped on the light. Buck stared up at her, tired and scared, from where he was slumped in the corner of his shower. (Part 1 of 🔥Mermaid AU)

Fallin’ Into Your Ocean Eyes by Princessfbi / @princessfbi (Mermaid!Buck, Getting Together | 21K | Mature): “Do you trust me?” Buck asked, as he nuzzled his nose against Eddie’s. “You know I do.” “Good,” Buck said, pecking him on his lips again before he pulled away and kicked off his boots. “I need you to hold my pants.” Buck hooked his thumbs in the waistline of his jeans and pushed them down in a blink of an eye. If Eddie’s face could get any redder, it would, but the heat of his gaze had Buck shoving down a shiver that raced up his spine. He handed Eddie his jeans and pulled off his shirt. “This is weird,” Eddie mumbled as Buck handed his clothes to him. “I hope you realize this is weird.” (Part 2 of 🔥Mermaid AU)

A Diamond Mind and Those Ocean Eyes by Princessfbi/ @princessfbi (Mermaid!Buck | 35K | Teen): “Buck…” Eddie wheezed, his eyes rolling in his head. Maddie snapped her gaze down to look at him and almost burst into tears at the sight. Eddie’s sun kissed skin was deathly pale, with blue tinging his lips and dark circles under his eyes. Buck never would’ve left him. Not like this. “Eddie!” Maddie said, shaking him herself. “Where’s Buck?” Eddie wheezed and said, “… boat.” Then Eddie stopped breathing and Chimney started CPR. (Part 3 of 🔥Mermaid AU)

Work It Like The Rent's Due by Loverlylo/ @theloverlylo (Stripper!Buck | 4K | Teen): Look, the cost of living in Los Angeles is insane, and public servants make nothing. Lacking savings, an inheritance, or a spouse with a high-earning job, Buck turns to a side gig to help pay is rent. And what side gig is perfect for a gorgeous man with no shame? If you guess stripping, you win.

the music moves me (right onto your lap) by KaztielCS118 (Stripper!Eddie | 4K | Mature): Eddie used to be a strip dancer, he shows Buck just how good he is.

🔥 I want to be your fantasy (maybe you could be mine) by 42hrb/ @exhuastedpigeon (Bachelor Party | 7K | Explicit): Eddie stopped just outside the doors, a hand on Buck's arm to stop him from going inside. “Buck I have to tell you something and you’re not allowed to say shit about it okay?” “Of-of course,” Buck was a little worried at how serious Eddie was being, but it probably wasn't anything that bad if he was going to tell Buck something and then go into a pole dancing class. “I’m going to be really good at this class,” Eddie said, his voice low. “Because one of my jobs before moving to L.A. was stripping. You’re the first person who didn’t work at the club or go to the club to know that and I’d prefer if it stayed that way.”

pauses, then says by vstars (S7E4 Speculation | 1K | Teen): or, Eddie checks up on Buck after an accident at the basketball court

Wrong Side of Heaven by TearsThisSideofHeaven (MCU AU, Post-Snap | 8K | Mature): In the moment, Buck wonders if this is the end of the world. Later, he’ll find himself wishing it had been. Or: the post-Thanos 9-1-1 AU that's been rattling around in the author's brain for literally years.

too tired to keep lying by extasiswings/ @extasiswings (S7E6 Spec, Madney Wedding | 1K | Teen): “But someone has to tell everyone that there’s—” Buck’s voice cracks. A shudder wracks him and Eddie’s hold tightens. “—that there’s not going to be a wedding today.” “There could be.” “What?” Eddie swallows hard, pulling back enough that his eyes can meet Buck’s. “There could still be a wedding today.”

do you want to know a secret by bucksclipboard/ @excuseme-greentea (S7, Getting Together | 3K | Teen): Buck overworks himself and his family worries. When Eddie overhears a conversation between Maddie and Chimney, he learns he might just have caused Buck’s change in behavior. The good news is – there’s something he can do about it.

🔥 If I Never Hear Your Voice Again by actualalligator/ @actualalligator (Canon Divergent, Post-S3E1 Kids Today, Online Friendship | 21K | Mature): After the pulmonary embolism, Buck starts to experience nerve pain and intermittent weakness in his leg. He undergoes another surgery, but when it does not help, he is medically retired from the LAFD. Chimney gets him a video game so they can play it together, but one night it leads him right to Eddie, a single dad from Texas, desperate to make ends meet. They strike up a friendship that eventually leads to more while they work through depression, a move, some new jobs, and a lot of other life stuff.

The One Where The 118 Play "Never Have I Ever" & Chaos Ensues. by dylaesthetics (S7, Getting Together | 3K | Teen): Or playing Never Have I Ever during a slow shift goes as well as you can probably expect.

Warmth of your Gratitude and Appreciation by Wildgirl93/ @wildlife4life (S7E3 Coda | 1K | Not Rated): Buck is coming down from the rush of the cruise rescue and Eddie takes him home.

Buck the Bachelor by terranobis (S7, Bachelor!Buck | 41K | Not Rated): When an emergency at the Bachelor mansion leads to Buck becoming the Bachelor, Buck and Eddie begin to realize that there might be more to their friendship than they thought.

you've ruined my life (by not being mine) by ummrys (S7E4 Spec | 2K | Teen): Or, Buck gets a little (a lot) jealous of Eddie's blossoming friendship with Tommy Kinard, and makes some bad decisions about it.

🔥 Racing with the Brakes Cut by letmetellyouaboutmyfeels/ @letmetellyouaboutmyfeels (Fast&Furious AU | 61K | Explicit): When Eddie Diaz is offered an undercover job by the LAPD, he takes it so the money will take care of his son. But his mission to infiltrate The 118, a group of street racers suspected of hijacking trucks and selling the goods on the black market, goes awry when he meets Evan Buckley. The more time Eddie spends with Buck and his family, partnering with Buck to win the dangerous Race Wars, the harder it is to remember why he's really there. As the police breathe down his neck, Eddie will have to choose exactly which side he's on, and where his loyalties lie.

of epiphanies by tawaifeddiediaz / @tawaifeddiediaz (Post-S7E3, FWB Buck/Tommy, Buddie Getting Together | 4K | Teen): Or, the one where Buck doesn’t know what to do about Tommy, but somehow, he finds the love of his life anyway.

oh i wonder who i'm looking for by ipretendtobesane/ @useramor (Post-S7E3, Buck/Tommy | 2K | Mature): after 7x03, buck and tommy go to a bar

if i died last night (it would haunt me forever) by honestlydarkprincess/ @honestlydarkprincess (Post-S7E3, Love Confessions | <1K | Teen): Or, the one where Buck can't go another night without telling Eddie how he feels.

i love you if you even care by tinygiantsam/ @watchyourbuck (S7E4 Spec | 3K | Mature): 7x04 speculation where Buck gets jealous of Tommy, but hits Eddie with the basketball instead.

🔥 because we'll all arrive in heaven alive by callmenewbie/ @puppyboybuckley (Post-S6, Disaster Fic | 75K | Explicit): During a search and rescue, Eddie disappears without a trace, leaving Buck to grapple with the sudden possibility of a life without him.

a matching pair (we go together) by honestlydarkprincess/ @honestlydarkprincess (Getting Together | 1K | Teen): Or, the one where Eddie makes the team friendship bracelets.

be there on the next train by fleetinghearts/ @shitouttabuck (Getting Together | 1K | Teen): or, painkillers, pet names, and other sure-fire ways to finally tell your best friend you’re in love with him

slowly getting sober from the taste of your skin by honestlydarkprincess/ @honestlydarkprincess (S7, Getting Together | 11K | Teen): Or, the one where Eddie gets drunk and pines. Includes Maddie & Eddie friendship, lots of miscommunication, and a happy fluffy ending. 

Left Unsaid by C_M2 (Post-Tsunami | 33K | Mature): The discovery of a small facebook group full of tsunami survivors rocks station 118.

it’s just the thought of you and what I leave behind by bucksclipboard/ @excuseme-greentea (Alternate S7E3 | 6K | Teen): As the cruise ship starts to sink, Bobby and Athena aren’t the only ones in desperate need of saving. The 118 goes on a high-risk mission and a close call brings Buck and Eddie together. 

🔥 miracles under your sighs and moans by napricot (PWP, Post-S6, Sex Pollen | 21K | Explicit): When Eddie gets exposed to an experimental aphrodisiac on a call, he realizes there’s only one person he trusts to help him get through it: Buck.

chafe the skin (you know i like it rough) by honestlydarkprincess/ @honestlydarkprincess (PWP, Getting Together | 6K | Explicit): Buck had a problem. A very, very big problem. Eddie hadn’t shaved in two days.

Love's No Pressure by kittyeddie (PWP, Established Buddie | 7K | Explicit): 5 times Buck and Eddie try to have sex but don't, and one time they finally get to

baby, can i hold you? by fleetinghearts/ @shitouttabuck (Post-S7E1, Hurt/Comfort | 3K | Teen): or, eddie panics. buck holds him.

WIP

🔥 for all the haunts and homes of men by euadnes/ @kananjarus (Canon Divergent, Post-Apocalyptic, Station Eleven Crossover | WIP | 13/? | 113K | Mature | Warning: Violence): The year by the old calendar is 2025. Home is gone. Home is a failed rescue mission and an echo of a memory. Home is a lost boy living in a wooden house by the sea. But first, there was a promise. Christopher, when it's safe, I'll take you back to your father. Buck had all but given up on keeping it after the world had died and everyone in it. But just as some oaths refuse to be forgotten, so the same can be said about the endurance of love.

Kiss Me Once Cause You Know I Had A Long Night by I_still_dont_understand_13 / @sherlockcrossing (Prompt collection | 29/? | 19K | Teen): 100 kiss prompts.

29. 71. Lingering forehead against forehead, consumed by each other to the point of barely having strength enough to breathe

🔥 Things We're All Too Young to Know by Daisies_and_Briar / @cal-daisies-and-briars (Canon S1-S6, S7 Spec | 123/? | 379K | Mature): This is a love story. Even if it doesn’t always look like it. Even if it doesn’t always feel like it. A look back on Eddie and Buck's lives up to now, and what led them to each other, interpreted from the current 9-1-1 canon.

Podfic

🔥 Still Waters by MilenaDaniels [Podfic] (@milenadaniels) by Rhea314 (Rhea)/ @rhea314 (Post-S4E14: Survivors | 45-60 minutes | Explicit): As Eddie lays on the hot pavement bleeding out, his eyes locked on Buck’s bloody face, his hand reaching out towards him, what washes over him isn’t his hard-earned stillness nor is it shock. It’s clarity, edging slowly into focus from off-stage. And when he wakes up in the hospital bed and registers a soft, slim hand in his, he thinks, "no, that’s not it". Or, Five Ways Eddie's Body Feels Different After the Shooting

🔥 Nights are mainly made for saying things that you can’t say tomorrow day by HMSLusitania [podfic](@hmslusitania) by Rhea314 (Rhea)/ @rhea314 (Camping Trip, Getting Together | 20-30 minutes | Not Rated): Coincidentally lacking children for a week, the firefam go camping together. Eddie would have a better time with it if he wasn't hiding a major secret.

🔥 What's Died Will Never Stay Dead by HMSLusitania [Podfic] (@hmslusitania) by Rhea314 (Rhea)/@rhea314 (The Old Guard AU, Bobby POV | 45-60 minutes | Teen): Bobby's family died in an apartment fire in St Paul, he was honest about that much. But it was in 1904, not 2014.

🔥 Which Witch (series) by HMSLusitania [Podfic] (@hmslusitania) by Rhea314 (Rhea) / @rhea314 (Witch!Eddie | 1-1.5 hours | Teen): It starts as a stupid conversation at the station. Chim, overly credulous, kicks them off with a quick, “Hey remember when we were jinxed because Probie said the q-word? Do you guys think there’s such a thing as actual magic?” In his defence, Eddie guesses, it really is a …q-word… shift and they don’t have anything better to do, everyone sprawled around on various pieces of furniture in the loft. Eddie had been playing a round of pool with Buck, but if they’re going to get into this conversation, he’s got to nip it in the bud. “Nope,” he says.

🔥 The Best Lie is a Truth (My Best Mask is My Face) by letmetellyouaboutmyfeels [podfic] (@letmetellyouaboutmyfeels) by Rhea314 (Rhea)/ @rhea314 (Post-S5, Fake Relationship | 4-5 hours | Explicit): The Buckleys are celebrating their 50th Anniversary, and Maddie and Buck are both expected to come. To take the heat off Maddie, Buck impulsively blurts out that he's seeing someone new. Obviously, there's only one solution: bring Eddie as his fake boyfriend, pretend to be in love with him, and survive the weekend with minimal bloodshed. No problem, except for the, uh. "Pretend" part. Oops.

🔥 right in front of your eyes by rainbow_nerds [podfic] (@rainbow-nerdss) by Rhea314 (Rhea) / @rhea314 (Fake Relationship | 1.5-2 hours | Teen): Buck offers to fake-date Eddie so Pepa will stop setting him up on dates.

🔥 Lifelines by hetrez [podfic] by Rhea314 (Rhea)/ @rhea314 (Canon Divergent, Tsunami | 2 hours | Teen): Buck said, "Look, I'm sorry I overheard that because it's personal, and you should be able to decide who gets to have that part of you." Eddie came out of his hunch a little and looked him in the eyes, and Buck felt a zing of giddy accomplishment. It maybe made him stupid. "But to be honest, I'm really flattered that Pepa thought a punk like me could get a guy like you." Eddie's eyes went huge, and under the sodium lights Buck could see his ears turning red. Just two strangers hanging out after a tsunami, talking about being in the closet.

🔥 Don't Take the Money by HMSLusitania [Podfic] (@hmslusitania) by Rhea314 (Rhea) / @rhea314 (Post-Lawsuit, Time Loop | 2.5-3 hours | Mature): “You know, being stuck here isn’t actually the end of the world,” Chimney says, coming up to the table and picking up one of the smoke detectors. “It just feels like it, Buck. Trust me, I know.” “I’m pretty sure it might actually be the end of the world,” Buck says. “Considering this is the sixth time I’ve lived this day.” Chimney stares at him for a beat and then his eyebrows lift. “Wait, are you like – dude, are you in Groundhog Day?” OR The post-lawsuit time-loop AU literally no one asked for.

#buddie #buddie fanfiction #buddie fic rec #buddie fanfic #buddie fic #911 fanfic #911 fanfiction #911 fic #epic buddie fic rec

[ohimsummer]

✎ . . .❝ SU…?❞

— minors dni, getou x fem! reader, edging, orgasm denial, ruined orgasms, overstim?, suguru is cruel in bed and i should say it

Sheets tug against your grasp, creasing beneath your fingernails. A drop of sweat traces the outline of your face, trails dangerously close to your eye before ending up in the remnants of moisture beneath your chin. Between your gasps for air, a weighted sigh sneaks out, tapered off with pathetic whimpers and a single defeated sob. The soothing circles he massages into your hips feel foreign amongst the ache of your body. They should be comforting, but they just increase the airtight feeling of your skin. He's getting off on this, very much so.

"Su…", comes your unfinished plea. You can't find the energy to complete it.

"Su…?", he coos, mockingly, and with that same ever-present smirk; you can hear it on his face.

Darkness creeps at the edges of your vision, a tremble fleeing up your spine to tense your muscles. The essence of your core leaks onto his length, down your thighs, and into the sheets below. The fleeting thought that they’d certainly need washing afterwards is extinguished, suffocated by your lack of ability to hold anything in your head for more than a few seconds.

You waver, and suddenly your body is plummeting towards the mattress. His grip becomes bruising, and he maneuvers you back on all fours. "Ah, ah, upright, sweetheart. Be a good girl and behave for me, would you?”

Moving is utterly exhausting, but the pitiless tone shadowing his command is enough of a motivator to have you bracing yourself on the bed. He gives a light and approving hum, thumbs tapping the bottom of your back, and thrusts his cock between your soaked lips. His motions are painfully slow, slower than the last time, even. It's not near enough to give you any sort of pleasure, but that was his whole point, anyway. Amidst his patience, Suguru was a cruel man who loved to play with people like toys. How long would it take before you – his favorite object of obsession – broke beneath him, all for his own amusement? Would it take a couple more ruined orgasms before your mind finally snapped this time around, or would you first tap out from exhaustion? Only one way to find out.

The head of his cock halts to prod at your entrance. Geto gazes at the way you clench and squeeze around nothing, desperate and anxious for anything to fill you up; his dick, his tongue, hell you'd take his pinky finger at this point if it meant having something, any sort of relief. His hips push forward the tiniest bit, and you think you may die; it’s not even enough to push the tip inside. Would he not even allow you that? You consider crying, pleading, screaming obscenities, but you know it’d only spur him on to hold you further away from the light.

Your voice mewls up at him, and Geto can just make out the repetition of his name in your mouth. There it was. Your dumb, little head was almost broken, hm?

A sharp intake of breath later, and you cry a little louder for him."Sug–Suguruu, pleaseee."

He realigns his dick to be flush against your heat, and then pulls your hips against him so you're sitting against his pelvis. Your eyes squeeze shut, body and mind begging for just an ounce of his mercy.

“Be patient, darling.” Suguru chuckles as your body deflates with disappointment. Of course he wouldn't be that lenient with you just from a little begging. He was going to keep toying with you long after your mind was shattered.

#geto x reader #suguru x reader #jjk smut #jjk x reader #suguru geto x reader #geto x reader smut #suguru geto smut #geto suguru x reader

[jisungsdaydreamer]

Anti-Romantic | CHAPTER THREE | 18+

«GENERAL M.LIST» · «NAVIGATION» · «TALK TO ME» · «TAGLIST»

DRUNK IN LOVE

“I haven’t been the same since we met.”

«PREVIOUS CHAPTER» · «SERIES MASTERLIST»

Pairing: Hyunjin x Fem!Reader Genre: Non idol au, fluff, smut, romcom, drama, opposites attract Chapter Warnings: explicit sexual content, switch!Hyunjin, switch!reader, mentions of emotionally abusive ex, mutual fantasizing, sexual fantasy sequence (dom!reader, sub!Hyunjin), cumeating/cumplay, masturbation (f), heavy insecurity and self deprecation, oral (f receiving), rough sex, degradation, titfucking, pussy slapping, edging/orgasm denial, creampie, unprotected sex, misuse of alcohol (reader is a very sad drunk), both of them are actual idiots that will make you want to to scream ⚠️not beta-read yet, but will be updated with the edits soon⚠️ Word Count: 20.5k

P.S. ♡ If you like my work, please consider giving me feedback in the form of reblogs, comments, and asks! ♡

The first thing Hyunjin understands when he comes to is how disgusting his mouth tastes. The faint, bitter taste of alcohol lingering on his tongue brings the memory of the night prior’s bad decisions; he’s never gone a single day in his life without brushing his teeth at night, in addition to the rest of his extensive pre-bedtime routine. The lack of moisture that pulls at his skin like a scratchy draft has him reaching for his nightstand, from where he’s burrowed in blankets like a corn dog. For a few embarrassing minutes, Hyunjin puts up a valiant effort trying to locate his special night repair face lotion solely with his flailing palm, before he’s rudely interrupted.

“Wake the fuck up, Sleeping Beauty.” 

The strangely familiar, feminine yet husky voice brings him hurtling back into reality. Cautiously, Hyunjin retracts his arm and opens his eyes; the blinding light that meets them does not help his splitting headache that rivals the shaking faultlines of San Andreas. 

When he finally adjusts to the brightness, he realizes that he’s in a room that’s definitely not his. The vast SolarSmart windows that would have already dimmed to match his sleepy blinking have been replaced by an antique bay window. Instead of the aristocratic fragrance of his favorite Le Labo candle, the air is thick with the smell of maple syrup. And his beloved Egyptian cotton sheets are gone in favor of a sherpa set that has him sweating in the year-round heat, which isn’t helped by the fact that this place isn’t humidity controlled.

“I’ve always thought of myself as more of a Rapunzel,” Hyunjin groans, stretching and tilting his head up to meet Lisa’s eyes. “You know, great hair and all.”

“Ha ha.” Lisa rolls her eyes, trying to maintain her expression of annoyance, but Hyunjin catches the hint of a smile on her lips; it’s inevitable, trying to fight the effect of his charms, especially when he’s just woken up all adorable and rumpled by sleep. “It’s almost noon, I thought I’d wake you up.”

“Noon?!” Hyunjin flies into a sitting position, frozen in an unfamiliar panic and unable to think of what to do next. By this time in his usual daily routine, he would have been enjoying a light lunch in his office while journaling in his gratitude notebook. Fuck, his stomach calls out for a nice balsamic arugula salad, maybe with a freshly-squeezed orange juice on the side to help with the regrettable effects of alcohol.

Lisa coughs lightly, bending down to pick up a discarded collection of clothing strewn on the floor, before handing it over to Hyunjin. The nausea rises up in Hyunjin’s stomach as he sifts through the clothes that he recognizes as his own. And then, as if in sudden remembrance, he looks down at himself and realizes that he’s completely naked except for his Gucci boxers. Horrified, he looks over at Lisa, but before he can say anything, she cuts him off.

“No. We didn’t have sex.” Lisa avoids Hyunjin’s eyes, picking at one of her burgundy-painted nails. She seems strangely skittish, in stark comparison to her confident, nearly feline-like mannerisms last night.

“Then what happened last night?” Hyunjin slips on his shirt and slides out of bed to pull his pants on, resolving to get dressed already right there; at this point, there is no more mortifying himself.

Lisa shrugs, an embarrassed blush overtaking her features. “We did some shots at the bar, before I suggested you come over for better drinks, so we could, well, you know. Hook-up. But you really did drink more. A lot more. And just as you took off your clothes, you blacked-out.”

“Blacked-out?” Hyunjin’s whole body feels racked with disbelief. And yet, the memories come fading back in: the botched matchmaking event, him retreating to drink away his sorrows, the handsy taxi ride back to Lisa’s place. “I barely even get tipsy.”

“It seemed like there was a lot on your mind last night. I don’t know what to say to you right now.” Lisa scratches her wrist lightly, as if trying to occupy herself while waiting for Hyunjin to get the hell out of her home. But the movement draws Hyunjin’s attention to her hand, where a fat, glimmering diamond rests on her ring finger, one that wasn’t there the previous night.

Realization flows in, ghastly and unwarranted. He clears his throat, tossing his jacket over his shoulders. “And you’re fucking married.”

Lisa freezes, the blood completely draining out of her face as her lips go paper thin. “I can explain.”

Hyunjin tilts his head with fresh resolve, taking his phone and wallet from where they’re fortunately perched on top of the nightstand. “Nope. I’m getting out of here. Looks like you’ve got some personal things going—” 

“Hyunjin, I’m not married. Please, just—” Lisa quickly crosses in front of him, blocking the doorway, looking at him with pleading eyes. “I’m engaged.”

“Big difference that makes,” Hyunjin mutters, crossing his arms. Nevertheless, he waits for her to speak, softening when he catches the glimpse of pain flash in her eyes.

“My fiancé. He’s… I- I know he’s not working late all those nights, like he says he is.” Lisa exhales shakily, closing her eyes. “I know who you are. The Love Doctor. Initially, I thought I would talk to Hoseok, maybe book us an appointment with you. But then I saw you at the bar, and I don’t know, it felt like a sign.”

“And you wanted to make him hurt like he hurt you,” Hyunjin finishes for her. He’d had clients like Lisa, the vengeful wives looking to bite back at the ones who wronged them— he just never imagined that he would have almost been a part of such a plot. 

She nods guiltily. “And I also just wanted to forget everything, even if it was going to be temporary. But I couldn’t bring myself to do it, so when you fell asleep, I was kind of relieved.”

Hyunjin snorts and snaps back with no real malice in his words, just a hint of mirth. “Glad me blacking out worked well for you.”

Lisa shoots him a tiny, sheepish grin. “To be fair, I don’t think you really wanted to go through with it. When you were drunk, you kept repeating the same name over and over again.”

He stills at her response, remembering no such event. But of course it makes sense; there’s a certain someone lingering in his thoughts 24/7, and she has no plan of leaving him anytime soon. “I guess.”

If she notices the immediate color in Hyunjin’s cheeks, Lisa says nothing. She just shuffles to the side, letting Hyunjin exit the bedroom before leading him to the main entrance of her apartment. “Again, I’m sorry about everything, Hyunjin. I shouldn’t have tried to use you like that. I really am sorry.”

Hyunjin accepts her apology, a strange mix of sympathy and understanding unfurling in his stomach. After all, he tried doing the same thing, to find someone else to warm his bed and take his mind off of the one person he really wanted. It was a bad night for both of them. “You’re still welcome to find me anytime.”

“Thanks a lot.” Lisa gives him a smile, before it fades into something more playful, one that fits her better than any expression he’s seen on her so far. “If I’m being honest, though, you're not really my type.”

“You know exactly what I mean. Call my secretary and book an appointment if you ever want one. With or without your fiancé.” Hyunjin scoffs, glaring at Lisa over his shoulder as he walks away. “And I’m everyone’s type.”

When his Uber finally pulls up in front of Oasis, Hyunjin hurries up to his penthouse and tries to make the most out of the rest of the cruelly shortened day— after a quick shower to wash off the stench of alcohol and pine air freshener.

Hunched over a bowl of Cinnamon Toast Crunch at his kitchen island, Hyunjin swipes through all of the pop-ups on his laptop, going through everything that he’s missed in the time during which he’d dissociated from all common sense. Everyday, Wonyoung makes sure Hyunjin stays up-to-date on all of his engagements by adding all of his event invitations to his Google calendar; Hyunjin spends a good few minutes clicking through everything, accepting all of his upcoming meetings. He’s been slacking off at work lately, skipping team lunches and sitting out on evening debriefs— but that’s all about to change, because Hyunjin needs to get his life back together again. And that includes making things right with you. 

“Want to pull up for a quick afternoon appointment?” Hyunjin mouths out loud. He then makes a face and deletes the letter, groaning out loud. “This isn’t a high school date…”

After a few more failed attempts at trying to write a breezy but appropriate check-in email to you, Hyunjin resolves to call his no-nonsense secretary, knowing that the Velma to his Daphne would help him rediscover his suavity again. Maybe she could even catch him up on today’s SeoulSpark gossip that he’d missed, if they had time. But he underestimates her temper when she finally picks up after the fourth ring:

“Where the fuck were you?” Wonyoung screeches into the phone, making Hyunjin wince and pull his iPhone away from his ear. “Do you know how worried sick I was? How many times have I called you? You didn’t even show up to the brunch you had with the Carters! I had to practically beg Beyoncé not to drop us, only after promising her and Jay-Z five free sessions! I hope you’re ready to deal with the company's losses!”

“I’m sorry, I know, I know.” Hyunjin whines. “I know I’ve been really sidetracked, but I promise I’m making things right.”

“You’d better, Hyunjin.” Wonyoung bites, before taking a few deep breaths to calm herself down. “I want you over at SeoulSpark on Monday at 6 AM, sharp. We will be going over each and every single client, and then making a game plan for the next five months. You have a meeting with Dr. Jeon, and then Mr. Jung. And Ms. Y/L/N requested an appointment last night, and you can most certainly afford it right now, so you’ll also be meeting with her. Respectfully, I suggest you get your ass over here as soon as possible.”

“Yes, yes— wait.” Hyunjin perks up, dropping his spoon into the soggy bowl of cereal, not minding the tiny droplets of milk that splash up at him. “Did you say Y/N?”

“What’s the matter?”

He shakes his head, dumping the remnants of his meal into the sink. “Nothing. I’ll see you!”

The slow drag of the days until the next week turns into a blur on Monday morning. Hyunjin pulls on a crisp white Celine t-shirt to go with a flowy pair of pleated trousers from the back of his closet, the kind of casual, chic outfit tailored that can always uplift any day. As a final touch, Hyunjin shrugs on a simple yet effective cardigan and dabs some cologne onto his wrists. 

During the drive over to SeoulSpark, Hyunjin reflects on the fact that he’d be seeing you in just a few hours, even though he just saw you a few days ago. When you could barely look Hyunjin in the eye after his colossal blunder. When you’d run away to be far, far away from him, somewhere he couldn’t hurt you again. But he wouldn’t let that happen again, ever. You’re far too precious, and he doesn’t plan on losing you anytime soon, even if you’ll never know what you truly mean to him.

He sighs, parking Cami in her specially reserved spot in the SeoulSpark garage, before taking off his shades and heading inside. As soon as he steps through the sliding glass doors, he can barely muster up a ‘hello’ to his receptionist, Felix, before Wonyoung pounces on him. In the blink of an eye, Wonyoung has dragged him up to his office, where she sits him down at his desk and begins to ferociously rattle off his to-do list for the day.

Luckily, he’s saved by Dr. Jeon, who raps on the open door with a wry smile on his face. “Can I come in, Wonyoung, or are you still busy disciplining Hyunjin?”

Wonyoung huffs at him, before picking up her tablet and making her way out. “He’s all yours. Make it snappy, though. He has a full schedule.”

“Yes, Ms. Jang.” Dr. Jeon says with mock seriousness that makes Wonyoung shoot him a murderous glare, before making himself comfortable on the sofa and turning to Hyunjin. “Damn, where’d you buy this thing? I could take a fat nap here.”

“West Elm.” Hyunjin is unable to keep the smile off of his face. “What’s up, Jungkook?”

“Well, this is kind of an awkward question, if you don’t mind…” Jungkook shoots him a hopeful look, and Hyunjin gives him a nod to continue. “I was just wondering about the company policy about dating clients? It isn’t clear whether we’re allowed to or not, but I know it’s a little iffy.”

Hyunjin sits up in surprise, mind immediately going to you. The SeoulSpark guidelines on dating clients were never explicit to begin with, but it was kind of unsaid that dating clients is out of the question, especially when it could jeopardize business. Of course he’d thought about this before, on the nights when he had been feeling extra delusional over the thought of having you all to himself. But it could never be real.

“What’s this all about, Jungkook?” Hyunjin shifts in his seat warily. “We generally advise against it, even after clients decide to end their memberships. It’s messy territory, one that we try to avoid.”

Jungkook clears his throat. “I mean, she’s not even my client. I think she’s one of yours, actually. She caught my eye at the matchmaking event yesterday— she was wearing this sexy blue sundress. Y/N was her name, I think? I thought, I don't know, that I could maybe ask her out or something? If she didn’t have any matches?”

Oh, hell no.

Hyunjin’s blood immediately goes cold. He likes Jungkook— a lot, actually. He’s a good colleague and friend, and a great drinking buddy when he feels up to it. Jungkook has tagged along with him and Seungmin quite often, whenever they decide to go out to find someone to warm their beds for the night. The topic of women has never been foreign between them, especially in a setting like SeoulSpark. But his woman? Absolutely not. 

Even if you aren’t actually his, Hyunjin would rather break Jungkook’s annoyingly perfect nose than see his hands all over you, and that’s saying something, because Hyunjin hates killing even mosquitos. Jungkook watching you laugh over a plate of pasta. Jungkook helping you into his car. Jungkook kissing you while he brings heaven to you in his bed. All of the things that Hyunjin should get to do.

Technically, it wouldn’t be the end of the world for SeoulSpark if Jungkook dated you, especially since you aren’t his client— but it would be for Hyunjin. Hell if Jeon Jungkook, the notorious player of SeoulSpark, would have you in his stead.

“No.”

Jungkook frowns. “But—”

“I said no, Dr. Jeon. Don’t make me repeat myself,” Hyunjin snaps coldly, barely fazed by that uncharacteristic iciness in his own tone. “Please see yourself out, and come to me when you have something actually useful to discuss.”

Jungkook rolls his eyes, running his hands through his hair. “You seem to be in a mood today, Hyunjin. But whatever, I’ll back off. See you later, I guess.”

Hyunjin knows he should feel bad as he watches Jungkook shrink out his view, but all he has is a vicious sense of satisfaction. That’ll teach him— Christ, is he jealous? Hwang Hyunjin doesn’t get jealous. The world is an oyster, and you, his shimmering pearl. He really is so screwed.

The next few hours are a blur, as Hyunjin does his best to be attentive as he sits through meetings with his executive team, including the one with his Chief Marketing Officer, Jung Hoseok, to discuss potential brand partnerships that would be good for SeoulSpark. He deserves an award for not falling asleep during the very essential Zoom call to confirm whether he should allow his face to be stamped onto a cat food brand (the answer was no, he’s forever a dog person).

By the time the sun has dipped below the horizon, Hyunjin has finished meeting with his second-to-last client of the day, Yang Jeongin, that brazen college student who had talked back to him during his TED talk. Poor guy had been through so much, really, with a history of being dumped, the latest offender being a cheating girlfriend who had effectively ruined his outlook on life. But over the past few months, Hyunjin had been able to chip through that broken exterior to find a brilliant young man in need of just a push in the right direction. He reminds Hyunjin of you so much.

“Thanks, Hyun. I’ll see you next week.” Jeongin waves goodbye at Hyunjin, who’s already rifling through his desk drawer for his compact mirror and breath mints.

Hyunjin flashes him a quick smile. “You too, Jeongin.”

As quick as Jeongin has left, the feeling of being alone washes away when you step into the room, knocking the wind out of Hyunjin’s lungs, as always. Today, you’ve foregone those usual pinks, a constant that Hyunjin had loved so much about your outfits. Nevertheless, you’re stunning; the sea-green floral maxi dress floats delicately around your ankles, and Hyunjin has to mentally kick himself to stop staring at the dainty line of buttons crossed along the ruched bust of the bodice.

“There you are!” Hyunjin beams like the sun, the stress of the day’s burdens melting away.

But instead of getting all cute and flustered at his theatrics like you always do, you give him a thin smile and sit down on the couch. “Hey, Hyunjin.”

Hyunjin tries not to let the concern flood into his logic, but it’s impossible, when it comes to you. However, he makes a valiant effort in crossing his legs and trying to hide the turbulence of emotions beneath his skin by plastering a placid expression onto his face. “So… want to talk about last week?”

“There’s not much to talk about.” You shrug and avoid Hyunjin’s gaze, looking out the window with a forlorn glint in your eyes. 

“Darling, please.” Hyunjin breaks. He gets up from behind his desk and folds himself into the space next to you, failing to maintain his impartiality. He hates to see you like this, like you so steadfastly believe that you’re alone, when he’s been here for you the entire time. “Open up to me.”

You look directly into Hyunjin’s eyes, prompting a shiver to run down his spine. He wishes you could look at him like that while forcing him down onto his knees. “I had sex with Han Jisung.” 

Of everything, hearing that was not on Hyunjin’s 2023 bingo card. For a moment, he just gapes at you in shock. As your dating coach, he never thought you’d be ready to become intimate with someone so soon, especially the guy who made you run off in horror just a few days prior. And as the person who is secretly in love with you, he could never actually imagine you with anyone except for him. Yet, he now has the wonderful, vivid image of you and Han Jisung getting it on. How nice. 

And then comes the complete fury. But before he can act upon it, throwing aside his zen policy to bestow you with an aggressive line of questioning— that he is absolutely not entitled to, at all— you hold up your hand, shutting him up.

“And I think we should stop seeing each other.”

In that moment, nothing but utter horror slashes through every fiber of Hyunjin’s being. Of all of the scenarios he’d gone through in his mind, the worst case is actually happening— goddamnit, universe. What would the point of life be if you weren’t in his, anymore? “Are you… are you breaking up with me?”

You give Hyunjin a pitiful smile that makes him want to go crawl into a hole somewhere and die. “That’s one way to put it, I guess. But I’m your client. This is a good sign.”

That’s not all you are. Fuck, fuck, fuck. This can’t be real. 

“You know what I mean!”

“Shouldn’t you be happy for me?” You purse your lips. “I guess I’ve finally moved on from Jisung, now that I’ve slept with someone else. I can finally go forth in the world without his shadow holding me back. I’m completely over it.”

Hyunjin closes his eyes, lightly massaging his temples using the stress-prevention technique that his old masseuse taught him before she moved back to Thailand. It doesn’t work. Fuck, is he sweating? “Well, I think you’re not completely over it. This is a step, not the destination. Having sex with a guy you just met is definitely not what we programmed into your love life GPS— we’re still driving! Besides, you still have a month of sessions left on your contract!”

“Uhhh, okay.” You give Hyunjin a puzzled look that makes him cringe inwardly— fuck his fruity metaphors. “Either way, I just don’t think I need your help anymore, to be honest. But I really do appreciate everything you’ve done for me.”

“No.” Hyunjin shakes his head stubbornly, resolve set deep inside of him. If you wanted him to get all technical and make himself sound like a pretentious prick, then fine. Anything to keep you from leaving. “As the person who you have entrusted to provide you with a professional opinion, I do not accept your rationale for ending our contract. It’s sudden, and you’d just be wasting your own money because everything was prepaid. It doesn’t make sense for you to go like this, don’t you think? Talk to me.”

And Hyunjin sees you pause, the doubt written across your gorgeous features. You put on a little eyeliner today, and when your eyes crinkle in doubt, the winged ends of the liner downturn, making you look impossibly cute. Hyunjin wants nothing more than to kiss that pout on your lips— not smooth it away, but make it his, somehow, to watch you look down at him with that same expression when he’s on his knees for you.

He waits with bated breath, until you finally throw your hands up, relenting. “Okay. Alright. But only because I have a month left. After that, I won’t be renewing the contract.”

You grumpily sit back down on the sofa, and Hyunjin has to clench his jaw to keep from grinning like an idiot. “So, tell me. What’s gotten you so worked up?”

You sigh, looking away from Hyunjin as you toy with one of the beads on the skirt of your dress. You take your time thinking, and Hyunjin doesn’t rush you, wanting you to be as authentic as possible when providing him with an answer. “There’s this guy…”

Hyunjin then feels all of the blood drain out of face right then. If the abrupt announcement of your departure from SeoulSpark’s services had not sent him into a panic, then this definitely did. He sees that unsure yet determined look in your eye, the kind he’s observed appearing whenever you have a strong opinion to share, the thoughts of other people be damned.

“Who… who is it?” He manages to spit out, thinking back to his go-to metaphoric fork and stabbing himself in the thigh with it, over and over again, to keep himself in place. “Someone from the matchmaking event?”

“It’s not any of those guys, no. You probably don’t even know him. Some guy from work,” you explain quickly, prompting a fresh wave of confusion to wash over Hyunjin. “But that’s not the point. He’s, um, always on my mind. I can’t stop thinking about him, no matter how much I don’t want to. Because, for obvious reasons, I can’t be with him. And I don’t want to hurt him, because the pain from the past— from Jisung— is still there, even if I don’t love him anymore. I don’t trust myself with love.”

Love? Is that what this is? Do you love whoever this useless idiot is? 

Hyunjin’s thoughts cower in betrayal, even though you owe him absolutely nothing. He shakes them away, focusing on everything else you’ve just confided in him with. “It’s okay to not be completely over the past. You might never be, and that’s okay, because what you went through was traumatic. That kind of hurt sticks, and you’re strong for trying to move forward. But you can’t let the fear of the unknown stop you.”

You shake your head. “But it’s too significant to ignore, that fear. My worst nightmare is hurting him like Jisung did to me. What if I end up doing that, Hyunjin? What if I leave him, like Jisung left me?”

“Don’t compare yourself to that piece of shit,” Hyunjin says sharply, making you jump a little. Normally, he’d apologize for coming on too strong, but he couldn’t. Not when you talk about yourself like that. “And it’s just a risk you’re going to have to take. And if he’s really worth it, then he’ll stay by your side no matter what.” 

I would. I wouldn’t ever fucking leave you. 

Before you can say anything, Hyunjin keeps going, unable to restrain himself from asking this next question, because he has to know. He has to know if you truly mean it. “So, the question is, do you think he is? Is he worth it?”

“I love who I am because of him,” you state, and with the way your voice doesn’t even waver, Hyunjin knows it to be completely true. “I’m ten times less pessimistic than I usually am. He makes me feel like a morning person, even though I’m not. And I actually want to do more with my life, see everything it has to offer. He makes me a better person, but I never feel forced to do anything for his attention, for the way he cares.”

“He- he sounds wonderful,” Hyunjin responds, and he’s trying— he really is— but he just doesn’t believe he can be genuine, not now. Not when he feels his heart breaking inside, not when he knows he’s a selfish bastard who should be celebrating you. And what did he fucking expect? That someone wouldn’t see a diamond and pick it up, keeping it for themselves? He’s so, so stupid. 

“He is.” You give him a meaningful look that makes his head spin. Now, what does that mean? Hyunjin doesn’t have it in him to be an interpreter today, strolling across the shoreline rocks of your mind, trying to decipher what today’s tides bring. It’s his literal job to know what you’re thinking, and yet, today his mind is completely clear of any sense of logic.

“He makes me feel seen, even if he may never feel the same,” you continue, biting your lip. “He’s the most beautiful person I know.”

“I’m not supposed to say this, but anyone who wouldn’t return your feelings is a total idiot.” Hyunjin smiles at the way you shoot him a skeptical look. He wants to at least try to convey even a single sign that tells you that he’s glad you’ve found someone good, someone that could make you happy— what he could never do for you himself. “And I’m glad, Y/N. It’s a good thing we still have a month, because I can tell that there’s still some unease on your end, because you’re clearly holding yourself back. I just want the best for you.”

“I know,” you sigh. “I’m sorry if I was making a scene. I just so want to be done with all of this fixing. I just want to be ready to let go of all of that baggage, and I guess I was in a rush to do so.”

“No, no. Don’t apologize. Trust me, I get the feeling, more than you know.” Hyunjin reaches across and places his hand on yours, trying to relax you. “It’s okay to want to move on. It’s okay to be frustrated. And it’s okay to want someone. Let yourself be happy, because ultimately, you’re the only one who can control that, no one else.”

For the first time during your meeting today, you break out into a smile, and Hyunjin has to blink to readjust him to the sight. It’s like a rainbow has cut through a stormy sky, joining in a perfect Yin and Yang. Hyunjin loves all of you, both the color and the tempest, because together, they make you who you are. He wouldn’t change you for the world; all he’s ever done for you was try to make you realize that yourself.

“You are such a gift, Hyunjin,” you say fondly, and Hyunjin has to remind himself that it’s because you see him as a friend, as a confidante. It would never be in the way he completely wants it to be, and he’ll have to make his peace with that, for you.

“I know. All I’m missing is a big pink bow,” Hyunjin jokes, plastering a smile onto his face. For the first time ever, he wishes you would walk out of his office, taking with you your infectious laugh and incandescent gaze. You can’t be here when he falls apart like he so badly needs to. 

You laugh, thankfully not sensing his internal turmoil. “Alright, Hyunjin. I have to get going. But I’ll see you next week?”

He nods, rising as you stand and turn for the door. “Of course. Have a good one, darling.”

“Same goes for you.” You reach up and give his shoulder a little squeeze, before you’re walking away, too soon and yet, not fast enough.

From where you touched him over his cardigan, Hyunjin’s skin burns with desire. But it isn’t enough to keep him from clumsily shutting the door closed behind him as he stumbles back inside of his office. He screws his eyes shut and tries to rapidly think of a list of his favorite things. Pink roses. Sequined Versace blazers. Puppies. Monet paintings.

But he should know by now that such sorrow is inevitable. It was written in his fate, the moment he set his eyes and heart upon you, knowing he would never get that happy ending. After all, he’s the Love Doctor, not a miracle worker. He knows this to be true especially when he feels a dampness on his cheeks and thinks it to be some kind of bewitched rain that’s able to fall inside his office. It’s only when he looks into his compact mirror that he realizes that he’s crying, broken and hopelessly gone for you.

That did not go well. You walked into SeoulSpark with a plan and had promptly failed, when Hyunjin decided to persuade you into staying. But you gave in to his pretty eyes and assuaging words, conveniently forgetting about the half-hour long promises you made with yourself in the morning. 

You were supposed to end your contract, regardless of whether you would be wasting your money or not. That would have been a small price to pay for the pain of love. And you know you’re right, because you start to cry during your shameful walk through the parking lot.

You don’t know what it is that made you open up so profoundly to Hyunjin, past the point where it was safe to conceal your feelings for him. But you just had to keep speaking, going so far as to describe Hyunjin as the object of all of your agitation and pretending like it was someone else that he had no idea of. You’re a fraud, and your only consolation is that Hyunjin sees you so platonically that he probably would never catch onto your feelings. After all, in what world would someone like you being with someone of his caliber ever make any sense? And it’s ironic, really, that you’ve fallen for him, the person who is there to help you find someone else to spend lonely nights with.

After unlocking your car, you collapse into the front seat, letting all of your emotions out for a good few minutes into the night. When the sides of your face finally begin to dry, you open your eyes with a groan, turning the key in the ignition and driving back home. 

You have a long day ahead of you tomorrow, because that godforsaken networking party was looming sooner in the future than you’d like, and you still had to buy something to wear. Your current wardrobe was much more vibrant than it had been just a few months ago, the jeans and plaid blazers hidden behind fluttery sundresses and silky skirts. However, it was all far too casual for the heightened class that you knew the event would require, and therefore, you’d recruited Yeonjun to help you shop, with the promise of all of his meals being paid for the next day.

As soon as you get home, you toss your keys onto the little side table next to the doorway with a huff, knocking your heels off and not bothering to arrange them neatly back onto your shoe stand. With the efficiency of a carpenter ant on a mission, you march into your bathroom and slip out of that god-awful dress, changing into a pair of soft pink pajamas with a magenta heart pattern printed all over them. The set had caught your eye as you were strolling through Costco the other day, a little more expensive than you’d like, but they reminded you of Hyunjin, so into the cart they went. You could allow yourself this comfort, you tell yourself.

Once freshened up, you head into the kitchen, dumping some leftover pasta into a bowl to heat it up, glowering at the microwave as the seconds tick by far too slowly. And as always, you eat at your crappy dining table, alone. Just this morning, you had been sitting in this same place, brainstorming ways to secure project funding, navigating the path to reviving your old startup, ITEM.

Before Hyunjin, you had ditched the excitement of indulging in work, your passion, for more self-destructive, wasteful behavior. In the past few months, after meeting him, there was this renewed sense of productivity in you— he inspired you, made you ache to find your own success in the world. So even though Mark denied you the opportunity to participate in the upcoming function, you disobeyed him and secretly went through with your own idea anyway, especially after hearing through the office grapevine that a lot of big-name investors would be attending. Somehow, you decided, you would figure out a way to present to them and achieve your dream. It was optimistic, maybe a little foolishly so, but that hadn’t bothered you. 

Today, however, you felt this sense of loss that hadn’t touched you in a while. It was nothing related to work, fortunately, but still, you couldn’t focus, mind wandering to your meeting with Hyunjin at the end of the day. For the first time, the thought of him was hurting you, not motivating you. And it still hurts you, with the way you disinterestedly poke at your fettuccine. 

So when you go to bed that night, touching yourself to the thought of him doesn’t have the same velvety allure to it. No, it’s more of a physiological need that forces its way into your hand that glides down your body. It’s the rabic, animalistic desire that drives the tips of your fingers under the waistband of your shorts. It’s the anguish, the longing, that makes you spread your legs, hips bucking up against the mattress.

You had smiled at him, earlier today, after that short drama you’d exerted, when he calmed you down and placated you with a soft, but commanding tone. You had poured your heart out to him, holding back just his name on the tip of your tongue, and he had listened. And you had feigned being amiable, and he accepted it, when in reality, you were so fucking furious with Hyunjin.

After you paraded into his office like a brat, demanding to end the contract as if you cared nothing as to what he might think, he had still treated you with so much understanding, with a quiet concern. You haven’t lost your temper in a long time now, but Hyunjin never failed to respond so well, so kindly to you. In every way that you were irked, he remained calm and gracious. It makes you inexplicably angry, so much that you just want to scream into the cool Angeles night air, letting the sound reverberate off the crumbling buildings of your shitty neighborhood. You hate how good is to you almost as much as you despise yourself in your absolute lowest moments, moments like these. You don’t want the sensuality of his gaze washing over you, worshiping you. You don’t want to melt into his touch, let him take care of you. You don’t want to fuck him like a lover would— no, you want his tears, you want to ruin him like he has done so easily to you.

You think of Hyunjin and his lovely, lovely mouth. A lip pulled in between his teeth in thought, slightly slick with spit when he licks them before speaking. You want to feel the stretch of them around your fingers as you force them into his mouth, choking him and chasing away his breathy complaints. 

You close your eyes, the image of you working yourself with your fingers fading in favor of imagining Hyunjin doing it for you instead. You, gripping his wrist harshly, pumping Hyunjin’s own fingers into yourself, berating him for not being able to do it well enough on his own. 

Then you’d slap his hands away, pushing him onto your bed and straddle his narrow hips, grinding your dripping pussy onto his thighs while getting off both in the friction and Hyunjin’s pleas for you to ride his cock instead. 

But when you decide to put an end to his torture, it wouldn’t be for his pleasure. You want to fuck Hyunjin hard, fuck him sore, the minuscule gap between your bodies clogged and messy with sweat and a mixture of arousal and saliva, from where you’d spit onto his cock. You want him on his back, staring up at you hopefully as he falls apart, begging you to let him come. You want to refuse him, snap at him and make it mean, but he’ll come anyway, guilt and arousal on his beautiful face. Of course he’ll have to clean up his own mess, sucking obediently on your fingers covered with the come you had retrieved from where it was splattered between your legs. 

And then you’d kiss him, slow and deep, nothing like how you took him apart under the sheets. You’d cup his face and whisper praises, running your hands down his body. Declarations of love would fall from your lips, because no matter how much he worked you up, the truth would never change. 

You finish to that final thought, barely hearing the shameful, wet sounds of you abusing your cunt with your fingers that thrust in and out of yourself wildly. But even though you have already come, you cup your pussy again and run your finger, feather-light, through your folds, imagining it was Hyunjin’s lips placing a kiss there, instead. Imagining that no matter how many spiteful words you spat at him during the time you fucked him, he knew that you would never hate him. You understand, that no matter how enraged you have the potential to be, you will never, ever hate Hyunjin. Because you love him— so much that it hurts.

“You’d think that my body was made for Gucci, but there’s something about Privé that turns me on so bad.”

You fight the urge to gag as Yeonjun brings the ugly sweatshirt up to his chest, holding it up in front of the mirror in an attempt to model it on his scrawny frame. You briskly snatch it out of his hands and shove it back onto its hanger, grasping your cousin’s hand like a mother and her toddler. 

“Stop talking about brands like you want to fuck them,” you scold him. Yeonjun rolls his eyes and sticks his tongue out at you in retaliation, but doesn’t try to wriggle out of your hold when you drag him to the women’s section. Sometimes, you feel like you’re an exasperated single parent, toting him around and snapping at him to behave, even though he is barely three years younger than you.

As you enter the evening wear end of the department store, you let go of Yeonjun to sift through the variety of fabrics available. He gleefully bounces around, swishing through the dresses you’re both drowning in and nearly knocking a couple of them off of their racks. But you can’t find it in yourself to chide him again, not when he looks so happy to be here with you. Not that you would ever let him know that you have the capacity to be soft when it comes to him.

“This beats working on job applications,” Yeonjun sighs, sticking his arm through an armhole on a particularly gaudy tea gown. You snicker at how the satin pools beneath his underarms, making him look like a child cosplaying in their mother’s old outfits.

“How’s senior year? I haven’t even been asking you about school, lately.” The last part is less of a rationale for your question to him, and more of a surprised self-proclamation on your end. You can’t remember the last time you ever listened to Yeonjun complain about his ancient professors and weird roommate. The thought fills you with a certain sense of regret; you might not have a lot, but Yeonjun has always been there for you. Most of the time, he annoys you to no end, but his constant presence reminds you that you’re never alone.

The playfulness melts out of Yeonjun’s demeanor, a sight to see with someone who is always so easy-going, never taking life seriously. But you see the somber look in his eyes as he turns to gaze at you critically. “You’ve got a lot going on, I know that.”

You flush, mind automatically going to Hyunjin. Outside of the slice of your day in which you are truly focused on work, the rest of your time goes into dreaming about the attainable object of your fantasies. Eat, sleep, work, and think about Hyunjin. “I— yeah. Work’s been crazy. And reopening ITEM, as well. But that’s no excuse. I’m sorry.”

Yeonjun gives you a wry little smile, foxy and sly. “Work. Sure. Definitely not a certain sexy ass dating coach, right?”

For a guy that presents himself to be so unendingly superficial, Yeonjun has the ability to read people in the snap of a finger. You don’t understand why he tries to act so vapid when he has such a capacity— if you had such a power, you’d use it to no end. 

Your cheeks flush, embarrassingly evident. “Got me there, but I’ve already reached a resolution about him. I’ll go through with the rest of the contract, pull away gradually, and then stop seeing him. Easy.”

Except it is not easy, and both of you know it. Yeonjun rolls his eyes, clicking his tongue in disapproval. “I just don’t get it. Why are you so down bad for him? He’s pretty, don’t get me wrong, but there are a lot of pretty people. He’s the guy who’s supposed to be setting you up with other people. Like, you’re not supposed to be falling for him.”

“I know, Jun,” you sigh. “But I think we’re more alike than outward perceptions allow. I feel like he never really lets his guard down around other people. I just wish I could have the chance to make him feel as seen as he does for me. He’s like no one I’ve ever met.”

Yeonjun stays quiet for a long moment, scrutinizing the way you lower your eyes and resume haphazardly shuffling through the dresses. “I think you should tell him how you feel.”

You would burst into laughter at how ridiculous his proposition is, except it’s not funny at all. “Now that would be crossing the line. Our relationship is completely platonic. Imagine how uncomfortable it would be, to find out that the client you’re trying to help connect with others falls for you instead? I couldn’t do that to Hyunjin.”

“I think Hyunjin still deserves to know. He’s your dating coach, Y/N. If there’s anyone who can understand you, it’s him, because if he really cares about you, nothing about your relationship will change. And who knows, maybe he reciprocates. You never know.”

Listening to your cousin give you such advice makes you feel strange, but not in an unpleasant way. You truly are thankful for it, even if you might not completely trust in it. “I’ll keep that in mind. Thanks, Jun.”

Yeonjun looks like he wants to say more, but he seems to notice the note of finality in your voice and decides to move on. “Back to me. Ask me again, about how school’s going, and I’ll tell you all of the tea.”

“How is school going?” 

“Oh, thank God you asked. Beomgyu is still trying to get me to feature on his OnlyFans, but even though he’s a little creepy with it, he’s the only one who agrees to come thrift shopping with me. And he’s a pretty chill roommate overall, so I can’t really complain. Ugh, and it turns out, my evil ex is still obsessed with me…”

You grin and listen to Yeonjun ramble on about his very animated life at UCLA, thankful for the distraction as you comb through the racks. After a few minutes of tuning into Yeonjun’s story about how he walked in on Beomgyu hooking up with some guy named Jeongin, you freeze, because you meet eyes with the one person you wished you would never see again. Yeonjun’s babbling comes to a jarring stop, and you both just stare at the monster who tried to ruin your life.

“Y/N! Is that you?” 

He saunters forward as you stay rooted to where you are, and it’s like he has walked right out of an old photo album carrying the bitter memories of your past. You recognize those round, sparkling doe eyes, the ones that reminded you of the dark pearls in the milk tea drinks you both would always share at night markets. The same choppy, boyish haircut streaked with caramel, the locks you would quietly run your fingers through after every time you forgave him. That delicate, nearly fairy-like face, the one that you could never bring yourself to hate, no matter how much he pushed you. Park Jisung has not changed one bit, except for the space you used to clutch on his arms has now been occupied by someone new. 

The girl is stunning, you can admit, but on closer look, you realize that it’s Kazuha Nakamura, the last girl he cheated on you with, the one that severed the final threads of your relationship. She, on the other hand, looks completely different, with her blonde curls chopped into a dark Brazilian-permed lob that swishes when she tilts her head down derisively, surveying you from head-to-toe. She looks like the epitome of the girl that Jisung was always trying to get you to be, stuck into the mold of a life predetermined for her. And for the first time in a long time, you’re glad you didn’t fit.

You regain your bearings a moment later after the initial shock wears off, when Park Jisung laughs, a deep, rumbling sound that contrasts with the way Kazuha titters next to him. But instead of acknowledging Jisung, you turn to Kazuha first instead.

“Kazuha! What a surprise!” You smile sweetly at her while she just gapes at you blankly, clearly surprised by your absence of hostility. In the periphery of your eye, you can see Jisung ball his fists at his side, ever the narcissist to be irked by even a slight dearth of attention. “You look great, girl!”

“And you look exactly the same, Jisung,” Yeonjun says flatly in a way that obviously conveys insult, before slinging a protective arm around your shoulder. You stifle a snort, and watch the way Jisung rolls his eyes.

“Ever a delight, aren’t you, Yeonjun?” Jisung shoots him a venomous smile, that Yeonjun responds to with a cheesy little salute. This time, you can’t contain the chuckle that escapes your lips. 

Before anyone can say more, you pipe up, determined to have the last word in the conversation you have no intention of repeating. “It was wonderful to see you, Jisung. You and Kazuha make a lovely pair— hope it works out!”

With one last gracious nod of your head, you loop your arm through Yeonjun’s and move past where Jisung and Kazuha stand rooted to the spot, speechless. As you and Yeonjun flounce away, you feel Jisung’s gaze burning into the back of your neck, but you don’t care. Not anymore.

“Damn, and I thought I’d get to watch a fight today. I really would have liked to see that dickwad get his just desserts,” Yeonjun grumbles, but you see the impressed look on his face.

You feel an unfamiliar rush of both adrenaline and triumph coursing through your veins; you saved your anger, and yet, you know you’ve won. For months, you told yourself that if you ever got the chance to tell Jisung off, you would use it. But the thought didn’t bring you as much satisfaction as it did before, and besides, you have someone more worth your tears now. Seeing Jisung again didn’t affect you as much as it once would have, because you finally, truly have moved on. And comparably, your current predicament seems much more daunting than some loser who never deserved you. 

“They looked like morons when we didn’t give them the reaction they wanted. Besides, I’m taking the high road.”

“You’re boring when you’re not a bitch.”

“Thanks.” You grin, pausing your gait when you see it. The giddiness drains into something more mournful as you take in the dress, delicate folds of pink chiffon that dissolve into a painstakingly threaded gold-beaded skirt. “This is the one, Jun.”

Yeonjun doesn’t miss the beat of sadness in your voice, the thickness of your words. “Seriously though, you don’t have to talk about Jisung, but I feel like that’s not who you’re upset about. You don’t seem okay.”

“I’ve found my peace with Jisung, but there’s still something else.” You inhale sharply. “I’m in love with Hyunjin.”

He stays quiet for a moment, before taking the dress off of the rack for you. “This is on me.”

“I appreciate it, but you don’t have to—”

“I want to. And if you’re not busy tonight, I have somewhere to be, and I’d like it if you came with me. What do you say?”

You’re not oblivious— you recognize the sympathy, Yeonjun’s clear attempt to cheer you up, a switch-up from the banter you usually trade. Before, you would refuse, retreating home to bury yourself deeper into a hole. But for once, you don’t want to push away the people who care about you. So you accept and look forward, accepting the poignance of it all.

“Hwang Hyunjin, you’d better get your ass over here on time, or else I’ll—”

Hyunjin bursts into a dramatic fit of coughing, cutting off Seungmin’s nagging. “Remind me to take you to one of my yoga sessions. Your chakras are seriously off, but there’s nothing that Dr. Sachet can’t fix.”

“Hyunjin.” 

“I know! I just got here, Seungmin.” Hyunjin sighs, ending the call before Seungmin has the chance to say anything further. He slides his phone into his pocket, already regretting his choice to accept Seungmin’s request— which was actually more of a demand— to be his plus-one at his college reunion. 

Any other day, he would have loved to ditch his introverted activities to accompany his best friend to get tipsy and gossip about everyone’s glow ups. Today, however, all he really wants to do is curl up in his bed with Princess Diana and binge-watch Friends. But alas, his loyalty— and fear— for Seungmin won out, and now here he is, standing in a rounded glass elevator on his way up to Highlight, the upscale rooftop bar venue of the event. 

When the elevator finally reaches the top floor, the telltale bell dings, opening the door into what can only be described as high-end chaos: people decked out in crisp suits and cocktail dresses and jewels, as they crowd around the lighted bar counters, shouting out their drink orders to harried bartenders while trying to brag about how successful they’ve become over the past few years. Waiters walk around, serving hors d'oeuvres to the guests that promptly ignore them, and the orchestral jazz, courtesy of the live band crowded into the corner, is drowned out by the raucous laughter of a group of men situated at a section of tables next to the windows. The whole effect is ridiculously ostentatious, and even Hyunjin has to restrain himself from letting his lip curl with disgust.

“Fuck, there you are.” Hyunjin feels a warm hand on his shoulder, and turns to see Seungmin staring at him with an overwhelmed look in his eye.

Hyunjin takes in his friend for a moment, admiring his black and white silk polka dot shirt that’s tucked into a pair of belted navy slacks. At least someone at this place had style, and it’s always a pleasure for it to be Seungmin, as by now, Hyunjin has gotten used to seeing him wearing bloodied scrubs. “You look good, man. But why in the world would you want to come here and see all of these jerks?”

Seungmin shrugs, and Hyunjin is surprised to see a slight blush overtake his features. He traces Seungmin’s wandering gaze over to the edge of the open balcony, where a devastatingly handsome man strangely stands on his own, sipping on his cocktail while observing the view of skyscrapers stretching out around the building. Ah. 

“He’s Seungcheol, isn’t he? Your old crush that you never talked to? That’s why we’re here?” Hyunjin teases, remembering those nights when he got Seungmin tipsy enough to confess his unrequited feelings for Choi Seungcheol, the resident heartbreaker of the pre-med student body at UCLA. 

“Shut the fuck up.” Seungmin grumbles, but his complexion betrays him, turning as red as a tomato. 

Hyunjin laughs heartily, thanking a passing waitress before accepting a mango and vanilla parfait from her tray. “Alright.”

And then it’s Seungmin’s turn to check out Hyunjin, who strikes a little pose and preens at the attention. “I don’t know how, but even with all of your designer shit, you never seem like a dick.”

“I’ll take that as a compliment.” Hyunjin grins. Hyunjin never dresses to appease the dress code— instead, he makes it his bitch, and does it in a way that’s classy, not ostentatious. It’s clear in today’s sophisticated yet roguish ensemble: a crisp white Givenchy suit paired with Nike Air Forces to deflate the grandiose of the former brand. And the sheer black tank top and silver chain-link necklace under his oversized blazer was just enough to add a touch of gender-bending sexiness. 

The corner of Seungmin’s mouth quirks up, and he hooks his arm into Hyunjin’s, steering him towards a high table tucked into a more quiet section of the bar. “Having fun, Hyun?”

Hyunjin fights a smile. “Moresoe now that you’re here with me, babe.”

That is Seungmin’s cue to shove Hyunjin away, who continues to bat his lashes prettily. “I hate you. I should’ve asked Nicholas the hot nurse to be my date instead.”

“But then you couldn’t flirt with our Seungcheol!”

Seungmin groans, head falling onto the table, lolling to the side hopelessly. “I don’t even know how to approach him, though. I mean, did you see him? He just managed to get even more gorgeous! His hair? His height? He’s totally out of my league.”

Hyunjin immediately morphs into wingman mode. “Trust me, I can just tell he has a thing for cute nerds. And, not to be crass, but his body language screams brat tamer.”

“I am not a brat,” Seungmin scowls. 

“Touché.” 

After a few more minutes of hyping Seungmin up, Hyunjin triumphantly sits back and watches his friend slink off in the direction of Seungcheol; he snickers to himself when Seungmin tentatively taps on Seungcheol’s shoulder, shaking like a fangirl about to ask a celebrity for a picture. Seungcheol turns, a friendly beam cutting across his stern features. Seungmin says something indiscernible to Seungcheol that makes him laugh, and that’s Hyunjin’s sign to leave the rest to his friend. 

By this time, the company around him has eased slightly, with everyone digging into the buffet-style dinner that the caterers have set out. 

“Don’t mind if I do,” Hyunjin mutters under his breath, thinking back to the flimsy cup of ramyun that he had scarfed down earlier. He picks up a plate from one of the long tables and gets in line, mouth already watering at the spread of food. After loading his plate with copious helpings of every dish of carbs in sight, he also makes sure to secure dessert, snagging a couple pastries and slices of cake. The gaggle of ladies behind him shoot him pointed looks, but he ignores them, walking away to find seating; he’s needed this, after the week he’s had.

He winds up sitting next to a giddy couple that just cannot keep their hands off of each other. Most of the time, when he winds up somewhere with people who exhibit excessive public displays of affection, he tries to discreetly slip away or make himself as unknown as possible, the hopeless romantic in him quietly cheering them on. Now, however, he unceremoniously plops onto the farthest end of the loveseat opposite of them, all alone and just grateful that the food is good.

“Earth to Hyunjin!”

Hyunjin looks up, mouth stuffed embarrassingly full of a caprese salad sandwich. “Mrph?”

Seungmin stands there, hands on his knees while he pants a little to catch his breath. “You will not believe what just happened.”

“Well, what happened?”

“Seungcheol and I are going out to dinner tomorrow!” Seungmin huffs, cheeks flushed a bright red as he looks over at Seungcheol where he’s standing by the elevator. Seungcheol gives him a shy smile before quickly looking away. Seungmin smirks and leans down to speak into Hyunjin’s ear. “And he just asked me if I have any plans for the rest of the night.”

He leans back to gauge Hyunjin’s reaction, which, in Hyunjin’s knowledge of his friend, does not disappoint. Hyunjin gasps theatrically and nearly drops his plate in trying to clap him on the back in congratulations. “That’s my man!”

“That’s right!” 

Hyunjin grins. “Even your ship name would be cute. 2Seung. Meant to be.”

“You’re such a dork.” Seungmin rolls his eyes, but fails to hide his blush. “Now, I’m gonna go get railed by the man of my dreams.”

Hyunjin bids Seungmin goodbye, remaining enthusiastic up until the moment he sees Seungmin and Seuncheol take their leave. As soon as they do, he lets his smile fall. He’s happy for Seungmin, really. He just wishes it could be him disappearing into that glass elevator with his lover. He would press you up against that heavy gold railing that rounds the inside, kissing you as you begin your descent down the building. Kissing you as fireworks go off in the distance, brighter than the Los Angeles skyline. Kissing you even when the elevator door opens, an irked crowd of people waiting to get in. He wishes he could flaunt you off to everyone in the world, show everyone how perfect you are for him. 

Hyunjin is so lost in his muddled, wistful thoughts that he doesn’t notice the couch dip, someone just as miserable as him occupying the tiny space next to him. 

“Hyunjin?”

He turns his head, slowly, to see you, of all people, glaring at him with a bewildered expression on your face. He remains in a momentary stunned silence, taking in the slight redness of your nose, how watery your eyes are. The space in between your eyebrows that’s painfully scrunched. The way your lips are pressed together tightly. You’ve been crying. Still gorgeous, no matter what.

“Darling?”

For the second time today, you are caught off guard. You have been stewing in your loneliness all evening, ruminating over your hopelessly unrequited love. It surprised you, a little bit, how you were barely affected by the run-in with Jisung, but that faded away when you took your first sip at the absurdly lavish open bar. For others, alcohol can be liquid courage— for you, it’s a depressant that brings out the sad drunk in you.

You shake your head, trying not to let the immediate horror seep into you. But how can it not, when the gorgeous man you are in love with has just become witness to your ugly tears for the second time? And from where did he just appear out of, when you thought you were going to be able to spend your time wallowing in your sorrows alone? Life is truly unfair.

“What- what are you doing here?” You sputter. 

You imagine that Hyunjin looks stunned, for a moment, but his face lights up when he realizes that it is you who is the mess curled up next to him. If he seems put off by the remnants of your crying, he does not show it. “I was here as my friend’s date, but it seems as though he’s ditched me for a better one.”

He gives you a furtive smile that makes you feel like you’re in on a joke, and in spite of your pitiful state, you immediately feel the warmth spread through you. “The Love Doctor always works, doesn’t he?”

“It’s my nine-to-five, as well as my five-to-nine,” Hyunjin jokes, chuckling. “So, you’re a UCLA alum? You didn’t strike me as the sort, I didn’t think.”

You scoff playfully. “Absolutely not. Proud Case Western grad here. Where else would I get my inherent computer geek complex?”

Hyunjin’s eyes sparkle. “Then what brings you here?”

“My cousin.” You jerk your chin in the direction of Yeonjun, who’s currently trying to break up a fight between two men who seem to be arguing about something related to stocks. “He’s trying to fulfill his senior undergraduate community service requirement by volunteering at this thing. But this is barely community service— I think the UCLA Alumni Association just wanted some free labor.”

Hyunjin laughs at your shitty joke, and you nearly feel like your attitude just turns up at that sound, unfurling like petals when touched by sunshine. “Are you enjoying the party?”

“Too kitsch.” You tilt your head towards the dizzying display of debauchery currently swarming your little bubble: most of the guests have separated into their own cliques by now, and the one closest to you has set up an uproarious gambling circle on their table. This is a bit much, even if for a swanky college reunion.

“Agreed.” Hyunjin stays quiet for a moment, and you watch him curiously, wondering what he’s thinking of. He relieves you a moment later. “Darling, I don’t want to intrude, but I just wanted to ask if everything’s okay?”

You hesitate to answer, because although you know he genuinely wants to check up on you, given the astronomically considerate person he is, you don’t want to burden him with your problems— especially if the problem is him. So you do what any sensible person would do and deflect. “It’s a long story. How about we check out the bar?”

You expect him to turn you down, but maybe you’re not the only one who needs a drink, because he accepts. “I feel like I’ll regret it, but alright.”

Hyunjin helps you up from where you sit, grabbing your purse for you and handing it to you as you stand, making your heart squeeze even tighter in your chest. But you both make your way over to the open bar, snagging two seats at the very end of the counter on one side. 

The teariness made your intoxication a bit more discreet, so you’re openly able to ask for a beer without raising Hyunjin’s eyebrows. Hyunjin, on the other hand, orders a pink champagne on the rocks. He really is so sophisticated. After you both finish speaking with the bartender, he turns to you, placing his elbow on the counter and propping up his chin in his arm. The soft smile on his face fits perfectly as his eyes lock onto yours, and it feels… flirtatious. 

You’re suddenly transported into all of those times you were alone at a bar, men approaching you with a similar demeanor, but with very much different intentions. Therein, with Hyunjin, the aura of respect and boundaries still hangs in the air, so it doesn’t linger, no matter how much you wish it would stay. 

The bartender sets your choices in front of you, and you try to enjoy the drink, but the overwhelming bitterness of it just makes everything come crashing down. You sniffle, and then immediately hope that Hyunjin has not noticed that you are beginning to cry pathetically— again— into your mug of beer.

Hyunjin looks concerned, leaning forward as if to put his arm around you, but after a moment’s hesitation, he retracts his arm and instead, focuses on your face. "Y/N?"

Shit. You try to laugh it off as an extremely severe case of allergies, but even besides the fact that there's barely any pollen in the concrete jungle of Los Angeles, you suck at acting. Too bad Hollywood is only a ten-minute commute from your apartment.

"I’m… I’m okay. I'm totally okay." You try to laugh it off, but instead, it sounds like a strange, very unattractive quack. The thick tears that begin to roll down your cheeks are not even necessary for Hyunjin to call you out. He is not buying any of it.

"Darling, please. Don’t lie to me.”

"Hyunjin, I'm fine! God!"

At this point, you're full on sobbing in the middle of the room, and people are shooting you weird looks. Hyunjin should leave. Being seen with a mess like you could taint his spotless, perfect image, and outside of his office, he has absolutely no obligation to you. Fuck, you don’t even know why you’re being such a crybaby— before Hyunjin, you could actually down booze without losing it on the spot, especially surrounded by a bunch of strangers.

But as if he couldn’t tug at you anymore, he doesn’t think this time to cross the miniscule space between you both and pull you into a tight hug. You feel like utter crap, and it’s been so long since someone just held you, assuring you that everything is going to be fine. But you can’t help notice one insignificant detail: Hyunjin smells fucking amazing and expensive and elegant— perhaps Chanel or Tom Ford? And in that glorious suit too, he’s like the real-life, less embarrassing embodiment of the mafia overlords that dominated your questionable high school fanfiction phase. Fuck. This isn’t helping the situation.

Hyunjin, meanwhile, rubs soothing circles on your back, definitely unaware of your inappropriate intrusive thoughts. “Shhh, it’s going to be okay. Do you wanna get out of here?”

You blink up at him tearily, mind frazzled but remembering your engagement. “But, Yeonjun…”

And as if the devil whispers in his ears, your cousin manifests out of thin air, collapsing onto the empty stool next to you. “My dear cuz, smack some sense into me if I ever volunteer again with— wait. Bro, are you crying?”

The shame piles up on you again, heating up your skin in a way that’s too obvious. But before you can muster up a lie, Hyunjin speaks for you, taking the mug away from your hands. “I think it’s best if Y/N gets some rest, she isn’t feeling too well.”

Yeonjun just stares dumbly at Hyunjin for a second, jaw hanging open a little, as it does for anyone when they are first in the presence of Hwang Hyunjin. “I, uh. Yeah. That’s good. You’re Hwang Hyunjin, right? Her dating coach?”

Even through your intoxication, you feel like you see something flicker in Hyunjin’s eyes, but as always, it doesn’t last. “Yes, it’s wonderful to meet you, Yeonjun. Y/N has spoken a lot about you.”

“Same to you.” Yeonjun snickers, before clearing his throat and turning serious. “Listen, man, I hate to ask you this. But can you please help her home? I can text you the address? I really can’t leave this stupid shindig until it’s over, but I don’t wanna leave her alone—”

“Don’t worry about it. I’ll take care of her.” Hyunjin states firmly, motioning to the bartender to bring you a large class of water. The way he’s looking out for you brings up something hot, aroused in your stomach. 

Yeonjun nods, and to his credit, he really does look as apologetic as you can discern in your drunk haze. Hyunjin helps you finish your water, before buying a water bottle for you to sip from, as he slides his arm around your shoulders and helps you out of that terrible room. In most cases, when sober and thinking straight, you would be as rigid as a bar, humiliated and unsure of what to do with yourself. But you let yourself have this, just once, melting into his side and enjoying your misery more than you should.

Sometimes, Hyunjin really can be such a piece of shit. Like the time he promised Princess Diana extra cuddles before bedtime, but forgot because he had been working late at SeoulSpark on some overdue reports; he had felt like such a horrible father to his baby. Or the time he mentioned a Gucci product during an interview, inadvertently advertising for Versace’s biggest competitor; Donatella wouldn’t reply to his texts for nearly a week. But all of that seems tame in comparison to today.

You’ve had too much to drink and can’t stop crying, and here Hyunjin is, thinking about how much he wants to kiss you. In his defense, you look so adorable, with your cheeks flushed from the alcohol, eyes drooping with drowsiness and lips pouted preciously. But it’s still highly inappropriate of Hyunjin to be thinking of you in such a way, so he shoves those treacherous thoughts into the back of his mind and focuses on staring at anything but you.

After a few swipes on the Uber app, your ride pulls up in front of the hotel in which Highlight is located inside. At this point, you’ve become pliant in Hyunjin’s arms, cuddling into his side and clutching at his waist. Hyunjin can barely breathe, and is vastly thankful for the distraction of the car's arrival.

He helps you into the backseat of the car, before getting in from the other side. The drive back to your place is quiet, save for the breezy orchestra music that the driver plays on the low and the soft sounds of your sniffling. Hyunjin clenches his jaw and stares out the window, trying to focus on the green highway signs whizzing by and not the fact that you’re barely centimeters away from him, humming sadly along to the radio. 

Twenty minutes pass, and suddenly, you’re both standing in front of your apartment building, an old but dreamy housing complex tucked away in one of the quieter sectors of the city. Hyunjin walks you up to your door, telling himself that he’ll leave as soon as you’re safe inside. He watches you sway on your feet a little while you take a few extra minutes to fumble with the door lock. Hyunjin wants you to go inside and slam the door in his face, bringing him back to his senses. Instead, you look over at him, a lilt to your voice.

“Wanna come inside?” You slightly slur over your words, giving him a small glance. It’s innocent enough that Hyunjin knows your motives are pure, even if a tiny part of him wishes they weren’t. 

He hesitates, the logical side of his mind screaming at him to politely refuse and bid you a goodnight. But then again, he hasn’t been very logical whenever it comes to you. He now promises himself that this is just a little post-party hangout. You can be friends, can’t you? And besides, you need someone to look after you. And friends look after each other, don’t they?

Hyunjin steps inside, instantly in awe of your apartment. The open floor concept allows him to explore the entire layout with his eyes, from the soft throw blanket lying on your very comfortable-looking couch to the bellowing linen curtains hanging over your windows. The mismatched furniture and nearly overflowing book cases are incredibly charming, the artful dissonance of your decor coming together in a harmony that just makes everything feel so cozy. 

In Hyunjin’s mind, your apartment is so quintessentially you, a feeling of home that his own place never quite felt like. Yes, he loves Oasis more than anything, but there’s this slightly pretentious air to it, this urge to keep it constantly pristine. It feeds into Hyunjin’s obsession over perfection, instead of being the one place where he can truly be himself. Here, however, Hyunjin feels comfortable, secure in his own skin, even when in reality, he probably looks ridiculously out of place in his over-the-top outfit.

“Hm,” you mumble, prompting Hyunjin to whirl around and rush forward to steady you when you lean a little too forward. “Do you wanna drink?”

Hyunjin frowns at you while you just giggle nonsensically. You’re nowhere near sober, but at the very least, at least you’re not distressed anymore. Hyunjin hates to see you upset; your face was made for smiling.

“Absolutely not. We have done enough drinking for today.” Hyunjin chides you sternly. “You can’t go to bed on an empty stomach, though.”

You prop yourself on one of the chairs at your dining table, giving him an anticipating look that Hyunjin takes as permission to rummage through your cupboards. After looking through the fridge as well, Hyunjin settles on cooking you his comfort grilled cheese recipe. He pours you a glass of water and gives you a little pat on your head when you obediently finish the entire thing and accept another.

You quietly watch Hyunjin while he putters around the kitchen; the sheer domesticity of it all makes him yearn for this to be a regular occurrence. He’d cook for you everyday, filling you to the brim with all of the affection you deserve. But that’s not going to happen, so he keeps his head down and concentrates. Hyunjin flips the sourdough bread on the griddle until it’s golden brown, spreading liberal amounts of butter on each side. And the pièce de résistance, he adds one-third white cheddar, one-third yellow cheddar, and one-third American cheese, his favorite combination of cheeses for a rainy day. 

“This is so yummy,” you declare after your first bite, eyes full of delight. “Here, have some. You’re such a good cook, Hyunnie.”

Hyunjin doesn’t know whether to be more shocked at the fact that you’re holding out your own sandwich for Hyunjin to try, or how you just called him such an endearing nickname. “I– it’s okay, darling. I’m not hungry.”

But you don’t accept it, because it looks like you’re just as stubborn even when inebriated. “You need to taste, or else I’ll be sad.”

You flash him a heartbroken set of puppy dog eyes that makes him melt and give in. He reaches across the rickety little table and tries to take the sandwich in his own hands, but you pull away slightly and hold it out to him expectantly. Oh. 

Hyunjin gingerly leans forward and lets you feed him a bite of the grilled cheese. He chews quickly, trying not to blush under the intensity of your gaze. Once he swallows, he watches you finish off the rest of the sandwich, satisfied with his compliance. When you’re done, you look up at him proudly, and he just can’t help but be endeared by you. 

Hyunjin clears the table and washes the dishes, wiping his hands on the fluffy towel hanging from the oven handle. After a moment’s hesitation, he reaches out to brush a few stray crumbs off of the corner of your mouth, trying not to revel in the sensation of how soft your lips are under his thumb.

“Thank you,” you say, giving him a guileless smile while you bite down on an orange-colored candy from the small bowl on the counter. “Let’s do something fun, that party was so boring.”

Hyunjin lets you wrap your fingers around his wrist, pulling him to the living room and onto the couch. He huffs out a laugh as you clumsily fall onto the sofa, moving to get comfortable. “What are you thinking?”

You tap your chin dramatically, making a show of trying to decide what to do. “How about… karaoke?”

Hyunjin grins and takes the TV remote that you hand him, hopping onto YouTube and flipping through the list of lyrical videos. “Any preference for a song?”

You shake your head vigorously. “Surprise me.”

He settles on “Gone Away,” a ballad by one of his favorite underground rock bands. The slow notes of a love song float out through the speaker, the lovely voice of the lead singer, J.One, filling his ears. He nervously glances over at you, but you give him an encouraging nod, and Hyunjin lets himself go.

“Inside collapsed time, even my hopes for us to be together, no longer matter,” Hyunjin sings along to the lyrics, the song resonating within him more than he wishes it did. “My love, tangled up while looking for you, is gone, gone away, gone away.”

“I don’t think I can stop you from leaving anymore,” you join in softly, and Hyunjin looks over at you in surprise, but you’re staring straight ahead at the TV. He tamps down his nerves and gets through the rest of the song with you, both of you somehow harmonizing together in tune. At some point in the middle, the tears start pouring down his cheeks slowly, in the way he can never control. He just hopes that you don’t notice every time he reaches up to swipe at them, before inevitably fall.

The song doesn’t finish quick enough, and an advertisement begins to run on autoplay, but Hyunjin can’t bring himself to look at you again, terrified of the way his heart beats so deafeningly in his chest.

“Hyunjin.”

Serious, without a single hint of playfulness. Hyunjin clears his throat and lifts his head to see your indecipherable expression. He notices the traces of haziness in your eyes, but there’s undeniable determination written across your face. “Yes?”

“Don’t cry,” You nearly sob out, breath catching in your throat. “It doesn’t suit such a beautiful person to be filled with so much grief.”

Hyunjin covers up his astonishment at your words with denial, trying to push them off as an emotional reaction to the song. But you’ve just called him beautiful, and that cannot be covered up. “I’m sorry, that was a bit much.”

You swallow harshly, the dry sound of it audible. Maybe Hyunjin should excuse himself to bring you some water and escape this conversation. But— “You can never be too much. I want you, all the time. I think of you, all the time.”

This time, Hyunjin is effectively rendered gone. Frozen to the couch, time stopped and his train of rational thought put on hold. He reruns the sentence in his brain, trying to piece them together. You want him. You think of him? You want him? His confused, frantic contemplation is interrupted when you crawl over the couch and lift your palm to cup his jaw, so close that he can nearly feel the soft puff of your breathing against his face. Fuck, you’re still drunk.

“I’m gonna kiss you now,” you murmur. Hyunjin is sure he has died and gone to some otherworldly dimension— maybe heaven, or hell, depending on how the higher powers have judged his situation to be— when he feels your lips slot against his, reeling him in like a needle through thread. So what else can he do, but accept what you give him and circle his arms around your waist, pulling you in closer so you’re on his lap.

You taste like the mango candy you popped earlier, sweet with a hint of tanginess, and it’s driving Hyunjin absolute nuts. Your eyes flutter shut and so do Hyunjin’s, both of you melting into each other, diving into the dangerous waters that Hyunjin swore that he wouldn’t tread. But he can’t stop, he just can’t, not when you lick into his mouth with a passion to rival the one he’s felt for you since day one. 

“Hyunjin…” You whisper, a long, obscenely drawn-out syllable that’s reminiscent of the noises that Hyunjin imagined eliciting from you. That one sound snaps him out of it. You’re drunk, you’re drunk, and this means nothing. This means nothing to you, and he’s just been here, the unfortunate sap to receive your sweet, empty words just because he’s been here for you once. He doesn’t deserve any of it. You’re not going to remember any of it. You are so fucking drunk.

Before he knows it, he’s shoving you off, and with the way you heavily land on the cushion next to him, he wasn’t gentle at all, in his panic. You just stare at him with a half-dazed, half-dismayed look on your face that makes him cringe away. 

“I am so sorry,” Hyunjin croaks, grabbing his phone and scrambling to stand up. He will pull himself together, eventually, in time to see you for the next appointment. And then he will remind himself that he is a mere service to you, and nothing more. As it should be, and as it always was.

Hyunjin doesn’t even wait for your response before he’s running out the door and into the night.

You come to at around noon, groggily blinking a few times before the memories come flooding back in. You drinking yourself stupid at the bar. Hyunjin leading the way back home. Karaoke while relaxed on your shitty couch from Craig’s List. Kissing like in a movie before the atomic bomb dropped. You kissed Hyunjin. Your drunk, sentimental ass was lucid enough to remember your feelings, but not sober enough to remember to conceal them. You kissed Hwang motherfucking Hyunjin, and you have colossally fucked up. 

You scream about it for a good half hour, ripping at your hair and keeling over on the couch, dry heaving in a failed attempt to let out your guilt. It sticks. You’re mortified. Scared. Disgusted. How, how could you do that to him? Taking advantage of him when he was in your own home? You didn’t even get proper consent from him! You are such a damn asshole, and now, Hyunjin is probably never going to want to see you again. 

All you want to do is jump under your covers and cry yourself to a sleep that you’ll never have to wake up from. But you love Hyunjin too much to do that to him. You owe him an apology and the entire world, which you have no qualms about bringing to him if he asked you.

And that’s why you’re at SeoulSpark, ignoring the fear pulsing in your body as you push open the door, closing your eyes as the cool gust of the air conditioning washes over your skin. But the drop in temperature does nothing to tamp down the nerves boiling under your skin. 

All of the composure that you have carefully curated in the past few minutes shrivels up— charred to a crisp and punted out of Hyunjin’s ridiculously extravagant floor-to-ceiling windows— when you lay eyes on him. Because that’s the effect he’s always had on you, and you feel like an idiot for not already anticipating that familiar cyclone of emotions that hits you whenever he’s in vicinity. 

There he stands, gazing out at the view leisurely spread out at his feet, lax hands tucked into the pockets of his trousers like he has no worries at all. In the perfect world, you could have just an ounce of his self-command, of how assuredly he carries himself. You envy him almost as much as you want him. Almost. 

When he turns away from the glass at the sound of entrance, the sharp angle of his side profile is shadowed by the light pouring in from behind him, portraying him as some magnificent sort of Greek god. And he might as well be, with the way he has directed both torrents of lightning and spelled arrows through your heart. 

You just stand there awkwardly as he steps out of the sun and completely into your vision; you don’t trust that there will ever be a day when you are not so devastatingly floored by his beauty. The buttons of his shirt are haphazardly hooked in a way that seems not so careless, but more effortless, and you have to fight everything in yourself to not stare at the smooth expanse of skin revealed at the top. 

The moment Hyunjin recognizes the intruder of his office as you, his lips erupt into a smile that seems too genuine given the stunt you pulled just a few hours prior. If he carries any disgust towards you as a result of last night’s events, he doesn’t show it. Warmth pools in his eyes like honey, and you find yourself swimming in it, insatiable and begging for more of that lovely taste. You wish you knew how it would feel to have him look at you so sweetly while he harshly fucks into you, a complete juxtaposition to the adoration painting his expression.

“Hey,” you wave your hand lamely, and then immediately mentally punch yourself in the face; you really missed your calling as the awkward main character of a Disney original show. 

“Good morning, darling. I wasn’t expecting you today.” Hyunjin gestures towards the sofa and you hastily sit down on it, whereas Hyunjin elegantly settles himself across from you. 

“I know.” You avert your gaze, feeling the blush creeping up your neck and onto your face. “Last night was, uh, something.”

That’s one fucking way to put it.

Hyunjin lets out a surprised little chuckle, a sound so cute that you have to ponder ways to inconspicuously pinch your arm. “Well, I was talking about how you didn’t have an appointment. But I’m glad that you’re using the walk-in hours.”

“Yeah… so I thought we should maybe talk about what happened,” you stutter out, shifting under Hyunjin’s steady gaze. “I don’t even know where to begin though.”

Hyunjin hums encouragingly. “It’s okay. What do you want to tell me?”

You take a deep breath, thinking back to the previous night. “I’m sorry. I crossed so many lines yesterday and I was too drunk out of my mind to even tell. I must have made you feel so uncomfortable, and that’s the last thing I would ever want to do.”

And you mean every word. You would rather hurtle yourself into the Grand Canyon than hurt Hyunjin, Hyunjin who has been so good to you even when you never deserved it, Hyunjin who you’re hopelessly and utterly in love with. Hyunjin, who you can never have.

Hyunjin doesn’t say anything during that miniscule gap in which you pause, so you take it as a sign to keep going. You’d rather get it off your chest all in one go anyway, as you fear you may not be able to finish if you stop. “I get it if this changes things. If you don’t want to see me anymore.” 

You shut your eyes as soon as you finish speaking, too apprehensive to see his reaction. This is it. This is the part where he agrees and so very politely asks you to leave his office and never come back again. It’ll probably take Wonyoung all of five seconds to boot you out of Hyunjin’s Google calendar, and then Hyunjin will go back to charming the next poor sucker to walk into his office. Gosh, you want to continue being that poor sucker, as pathetic as it is.

“Did you mean any of it?”

Against every fiber of your being telling you not to, to stay in blissful ignorance, you pry your eyes open to see Hyunjin waiting with his arms folded. Something about the intensity of his gaze, coupled with the unexpected potency in his usually soft voice, makes you shift uneasily. 

“I know it was inappropriate. I’m sorry—”

Hyunjin cuts you off, shaking his head in exasperation. “I need you to tell me the truth. Did you mean what you said to me last night?”

You tilt your head down so that you get an eyeful of the plush rug spread under the sofa. Of course you meant everything. You might have been drunk, but the intoxication only brought out the deepest, most hidden parts of yourself; it gave you the courage to manifest what you want the most. But to admit anything to Hyunjin— again— when he clearly did not want any part in it would hurt even more, because this time, you didn’t have alcohol in you to numb the pain of rejection. 

“Why did you leave?”

For a moment, you think that Hyunjin will ignore your question and insist on you giving him a hard answer. Instead, he tentatively reaches his hand out and hooks his thumb and index finger under your chin, carefully angling your head up to meet your eyes. That familiar gentleness once again radiates from him, and you have to bite the inside of your cheek to keep from melting into it. In spite of how utterly miserable you feel right now, the telltale flutter of your heart betrays you. God, you want to be his. 

“I left because I didn’t know how much of it was real,” Hyunjin rasps. His words are hushed, but you feel the weight of them, soaked and dripping with both tenderness and hesitation. “I didn’t want you holding my heart when you couldn’t fully feel it in your hands.”

You exhale slowly, trying to ignore the false hope rising like bile in your throat. The way his eyes brighten whenever he sees you. The stolen glances you thought you were imagining all this time. Darling. It can’t be. “Hyunjin… what are you saying?” 

“Do you have feelings for me? Because I do.” Hyunjin purses his lips and slides his palm up to caress your cheek. “I have feelings for you, and I’m so tired of pretending that I don’t.”

“You what?” You search his eyes wildly for any sign of a joke, because you’re unwilling to believe that this is really, truly happening. All of your reasoning feels tightened by this nostalgic lavender haze, a dizzying sense of deja vu pulled from your thoughts. The ones in which you get to call Hyunjin yours. They cannot be real, not in this universe.

He nods bashfully, a pretty new color in his cheeks— a shade that both astounds and confounds you. The cherry lips that you’ve endlessly fantasized about shine red and swollen with how he has so anxiously bitten into them. Hyunjin’s eyes shine in the hazy glow of his sunset lamp, full of feeling and twinkling brighter than any high rise. You’ve never seen him like this, vulnerable and laid bare in front of you. You’ve always been the one to fall apart in front of him, and yet, here he is, surprising you once again. And that’s something that will never change, how he remains the warlock of your wildest dreams and unraveling sanity. 

“I haven’t been the same since we met.” Hyunjin murmurs, softly stroking the side of your face. “And- and after last night, I think I actually might be going crazy. Because maybe it’s not all in my head. Maybe you want me as much as I do. Do you?”

You shake your head, heart fluctuating with every emotion that has ever been registered in your mind. Exhilaration. Doubt. Fear. Devotion. You are so overwhelmingly in love with the man in front of you that it hurts, even when he stands in front of you with his heart in his hands. It hurts, because you know that no matter what, there’s no going back now. You know you can’t leave him alone now; you are completely and utterly his. 

“Hyunjin—”

“Y/N.” Hyunjin pleads, and all you can feel is disappointment at the address. Not darling. “It’s okay if you don’t feel the same. Just please—”

“Hyunjin.” You cut him off harshly, and he freezes, his arms dropping back to his side. You immediately feel the magnitude of losing his touch on your skin, and it does nothing to tamp down the mix of frustration and arousal inside of you. “Hwang Hyunjin. You drive me absolutely insane.”

There’s a moment of charged silence, before his lips are on yours. When you were younger, you’d spend hours hunched over romance novels and rereading the parts when the leads finally kissed, their repressed emotions finally amalgamating in one stunning, golden moment. But nothing about kissing Hyunjin feels golden; it never did. 

No, it’s an ardent, burning red, a fire blooming in the hands that you use to yank him closer to you, a distance that will always feel unending whenever it’s him. It’s sin, pouring over hot coals and shimmering ore, enchanting yet raw. It’s so perfectly imperfect, wet and frantic, shameless and desperate. It’s rose vines creeping up crumbling brick and the roll of thunder in the middle of the night. It’s you and him and no inhibitions whatsoever, until… 

“Wait, wait, wait.” To your disappointment, Hyunjin pulls back. Even though he was the one who kissed you, you don’t fail to recognize the uncertainty written on his reddened lips. 

You bite the inside of your cheek, trying to block out the nagging thoughts in which Hyunjin has already regretted you. Moving out of his hold, you give him space by backing away. “Is everything okay?”

“I wanted to make sure that you are one-hundred percent okay with this. Like, I drive you insane in a good way, right? Not a bad way? Just checking. Consent is key and all,” Hyunjin breathlessly, letting out a nervous giggle. It’s a display that is shockingly similar to how you act whenever you’re agitated, and you never expected it to be put on by Hyunjin, of all people. It’s… cute. 

You give him a small smile, letting your handbag carelessly slip off your shoulder and onto the rug. You take a tiny step towards him, wrapping your arms around Hyunjin’s slender waist and reveling in how Hyunjin’s breathing quickens, pulse jumping with your touch. Drawing him close to you, just until your lips are barely touching, you look up at him through your eyelashes, focusing on that gorgeous beauty mark under his eye. 

“Hyunjin, is the door locked?”

He just stares at you for a good moment, and you let him, enjoying the way his lips part at your husky tone. “No. I didn’t lock it.”

“Good.” You lift your hand and trace the outline of Hyunjin’s bottom lip with your finger, observing the way he shivers at your touch. “Pay attention, because I’m about to prove to you just how much I like you.”

A blush speckled across his features is all that is needed to induce that familiar urge in you, the one that makes you unreasonably aroused. You want to make him yours, to take care of him and demonstrate to him specifically how insane you are for him. You want to make his wildest dreams come alive, just like he has done for you.

Hyunjin’s eyes flutter shut, a movement so delicate that it almost makes you cry. “Please… just touch me.”

Talking will come, eventually. Both of you will sit down tomorrow morning and establish what exactly this is, what you have done by that point— what you plan to do to Hyunjin now. You’ll find out what this is for Hyunjin— whether this is lust, a brazen act committed in the heat of the moment, or the complete opposite, what you’re too afraid to even think of. Your heart wishes for the latter to be true, for Hyunjin to want you not only as much as you want him, but in the same way as well. Maybe you can’t put it in words, what you feel for him, but you can show him your sincerity in other ways. It’s all you can imagine doing, after Hyunjin has currently rendered you with no other form of thought. Right now, it’s just you and him and a novel of proofs to be written on each other. 

And so you cup his cheek and draw his body closer to yours; this time, you move slowly, every action deliberate, exploring Hyunjin and his depths. Your lips touch his softly, a ghost of longing on skin. In turn, Hyunjin’s hands clutch at yours, silently asking you for more, and you indulge your prince, because there’s nothing you wouldn’t do for him.

Hwang Hyunjin tastes like a sunrise, if dawn’s dainty fingertips blessing the sky with a brilliant, fiery spectrum of light could be encapsulated in that sense. Coffee ice cream, spearmint, unadulterated eroticism. Finally, you’ve found the end of your questions. You shut your eyes as Hyunjin slips his hands into your hair, pulling it out of its tight hold and deftly sliding the tiny pink elastic around his wrist. You mirror his actions, carding your fingers through his soft, silky strands and holding onto him as he deepens the kiss. Instinctively, almost, you part your lips, allowing for him to slip his tongue inside and have his own answers.

Hyunjin pulls back from you to look at you directly when he starts to run his trembling hands down over the curve of your hips, the way he regards you full of attention and lust. You are sure that the confidence that you might have projected earlier has diffused into something more unfocused, with the way you already feel so high off of Hyunjin. Taking control has always been something that has come to you easily, until Park Jisung subjugated that part of you. But you don’t mind it right now, Hyunjin taking all of you and turning you into a mess, because this is the very comfort that you’ve been craving for so long.

“Are you sure?” Hyunjin whispers, even though there’s no secret to be kept. He leans down so that his forehead touches your own, in a way that feels too intimate, but at the same time, it makes you want it and more. It’s a genuine question ringing with the slightest hint of hesitation, and yet, you can’t believe he has to ask you; you love him, even though you may not be able to say it, yet. 

“This. This is what you do to me.” You take Hyunjin’s hand into yours and lead it to the place between your legs that’s been begging for his touch since you first laid eyes on him, second to only your heart. Hyunjin’s eyes widen in surprise when you guide his hand under your skirt, pupils dilating in want when he realizes how drenched you are just for him. But his reaction is nothing compared to you, to how you suck in a sharp breath and try not to fall apart with just one touch.

That one sound is enough for his gaze to darken, before he’s gripping your hips like a vice and pushing you against his desk. You let out a small gasp at the roughness of the movement, and even more so at how Hyunjin is finally taking what has always belonged to him, and him only. In response, he captures your bottom lip with his teeth, nipping at you slightly, not enough to cause pain but just enough to have your back arching at the sting of it.

“Did that hurt?” Hyunjin asks you, a smirk painting his features as he drags his lips across your cupid bow ever-so-softly.

You try to hide your blush by rolling your eyes defiantly, fisting the collar of his shirt in your hands. “No, it didn’t.”

Hyunjin laughs as he places one last kiss on the corner of your mouth, before he’s moving to your neck, attentively peppering kisses along it just to garner more proof of the utter pleasure that has pervaded your senses— and he has barely even touched you yet.  

Your hands slide down to the bottom of his shirt and to tug at it, the desperation of the movement mirroring the pulse of your heart. Hyunjin lets you unhook the top few buttons before hastily tearing off the rest of it, the tiny silver knobs scattering across the floor. But you can’t think about the mess now, not when Hyunjin takes your hands in his and runs them down smooth, toned places of his torso. 

“God, you’re so beautiful,” he mutters under his breath, easily untying your blouse with just his right hand, something that shouldn’t be as attractive to you as it is. He pushes it off of your body, the material now a nuisance to the way he begins to explore every inch of skin his lips can find purchase on. 

You decide to help him out, unzipping your skirt to step out of it, kicking it away along with your heels to some forgotten corner of the office. Seeing no point in prolonging your mutual misery, you also reach behind your back and unhook your bra to free your breasts to him, shrugging it off with a smile as you meet Hyunjin’s eyes.

“Do you want to touch me?” You give him a teasing grin, loving the way he audibly gulps when taking in how you’re nearly bare, all for him. 

“I want to fucking ravish you.”

You tense with his words and how his gaze hardens with the challenge, trying to maintain your cocky front. “Let’s see how you do, Dr. Hwang.” 

Hyunjin doesn’t reply immediately, the corner of his lips just barely tipping up. His fingers find the band of your panties, hooking under to pull you forward to him as he guides you to sit on the desk. “I can literally smell how wet you are for me, you know.”

And you nearly come to his words, but he doesn’t give you the chance, hands coyly smoothing up your stomach before gripping your panties on either side and ripping them off your body. Before the lace has even touched the floor, his mouth is on your cunt, blazing hot and wet. 

You gasp, sucking in a shattering breath as his lips move against your pussy as if spelling out letters in the filthiest language known to man. He envelops your clit with his lips in a slight kiss before you feel his tongue delve out, adventuring between your folds and getting his first, full taste of you. Hyunjin moans as he dips into you, blessing your ears with the prettiest sound to grace them, and it seems as if eating you out pleases him just as much as it does for you, if not more.

Hyunjin pulls away momentarily to look at your center, hands wrapping around your thighs and encouraging them even farther apart. Trailing kisses along your shin, he lifts your right leg to place it comfortably on the desk, caging himself between your legs. The sight makes you clench and grasp onto his hair, bringing him right back into you. 

“Fuck,” he breathes out as he pressed his mouth against you once more, relentlessly starving and savouring the taste of you at the same time. “You taste even better than I imagined.”

You moan, taking fistfuls of his soft, soft hair as he fulfills his sinful promises. You can’t think of any good comeback like you would prefer to do, but this position, while compromising, isn’t anything but ideal at this moment. The worlds have coiled in your throat, coming out as broken sobs, and you have effectively gone crazy for Hyunjin.

“So pretty,” he compliments, eyes drinking in your core before softening as they glance up at you. He slides a lone finger inside of you, and you immediately tighten around it, making him chuckle. “You like that? Like my mouth on your cunt? Like how I’m fucking you like this, so slow yet not enough?”

You just whimper in answer, but Hyunjin remains unbothered by your lack of coherent response. “You taste fucking heavenly, by the way.”

And then he pulls his hand away harshly, leaving a stinging slap directly on your aching pussy, immediately rubbing your clit after to lessen the harshness of it. 

“Oh my God—”

He hooks two of fingers inside of you this time, thrusting in and walking the tips of them along your g-spot, making your head go hazy with pleasure. Your breathing hitches as a pressure starts to build in your lower stomach, your walls shamelessly sucking at Hyunjin’s fingers. 

“Mm, you’re going to drench me, aren’t you? You talk up a big storm, but you’re dripping down my hand already.”

Hyunjin’s talk is almost as dangerous as his touch, and he knows it, with how he grins knowingly at you while he so sweetly puts you in your place. He attaches his mouth to your clit, sucks deftly, and moves his entire arm against that one beautiful place, making your legs give out beneath you. 

“Hyunjin, please,” you sob, amazed with how you were even able to form that sorry excuse for a sentence. “I need—”

“Need what?” Hyunjin mocks you, knowing exactly what you want, but he takes his time, playing with you and drawing out this sublime form of torture on your body. “Can’t wait for me to fill you up, yes? So greedy.”

Fuck, you love the way he talks. Measured and polite when fully clothed, but uninhibited and dirty behind closed doors. Your spine straightens as he starts to pump you so hard that you begin to see stars, or maybe just the lights from the buildings outside. You can’t be sure. You begin to arch your back, trying to lessen the intensity of his movements, but he wraps his arm around your hips to hold you down.

He flicks your clit mercilessly, his tongue winding you close to your climax. You mewl his name softly, rolling your hips up towards his face and on his fingers, clenching impossibly tight around him, but he only responds by fucking you harder. Faster. 

You can feel your orgasm approaching in addition to his heightened attention in your blissful facial expressions, watching the way your brows turn up in the middle. 

“Close, aren’t you?” He murmurs against your clit, and you concentrate on his voice, the sole thing you can comprehend past the obliterating pleasure you’re suspended in. You swear he smiles, before he pulls away from you. 

You cry out pathetically at the loss of contact, feeling that tsunami of ecstasy fail to crest and eventually fade back into the shallows, leaving just an unbearable ripple of disturbance behind. You can feel the tears form in your eyes at your interrupted orgasm that was so cruelly taken from you, and you narrow your gaze at Hyunjin. 

“And you’re such a brat, aren’t you?”

“Maybe.” Hyunjin responds cheekily, tracing his middle finger slightly against your folds, and you have to grind your teeth to keep from shuddering. “I want you to come on my cock instead.”

You’ve had enough of his games. This is something that you started, and you completely intend to finish it, even if it means not playing by Hyunjin’s twisted rules and making your own board. You dig your nails into Hyunjin’s shoulders, feeling him wince under your touch, and push him back roughly. He collapses onto the couch, looking up at you in wide-eyed surprise. 

“Did you have fun, Hyunjin? I hope you did.” It’s your turn to smirk down at him, all of the explicit thoughts of what you would love to do to him running through your head. “Because we’re going to be doing things my way now.”

Before he can even muster up a retort, you are already straddling him, shifting back to unzip his trousers and shove them down his legs, while he just obediently lifts up his hips to help. All in one go, you get both his pants and boxers off, freeing his length. And he really is so pretty— all of him, down to his cock that’s perfectly hardened for you to use. 

Hyunjin shivers as you experimentally palm his cock, testing how sensitive he is, and you’re pleased with what you discover. “What are you going to do to me?” 

“What do you want me to do to you?” You question him right back, pretending to actually listen to him. Hyunjin takes the bait, relief and desire evident in his features.

“I want you to fuck me with that sweet little pussy,” he responds, the urgency filling his throat making you smile.

“I see.” 

You shrug nonchalantly, gripping him and enjoying the way he gets even harder in your hands. Slowly, you begin to pump him, spitting into your palm and spreading it down his length for better friction. It works, with the way he curses under his breath and looks at you pleadingly. 

“Darling, stop… stop doing that,” he pleads, eyes involuntarily rolling back as you lean forward, pressing your tits together and sliding his dick between them teasingly. 

You cock your head to the side and let your hair fall slightly over your eyes, smiling innocently at him. “Stop doing what, baby?”

“Stop fucking teasing me!” He gasps out, watching you lift yourself just barely onto his cock, holding him at the base and rubbing his tip between your slick folds. Both of you let out soft sighs at the sensation of him nudging your entrance, but you still don’t relent. 

“I don’t know… I kinda like the position we’re in. Think I could get myself off just watching you like this,” you say, lightly circling your hips as you grind your clit on his cock. “Be patient.”

“I’ve been patient for months,” he whines— in any other situation, you’d laugh at how adorable he is if you weren’t so damn turned on right now. He places his arms around your waist, squeezing lightly. “I have to have you.”

You take Hyunjin’s hands and bring them up to rest over your breasts, keeping eye contact with him. As if a trying to placate you by seduction, he traces his fingers over your nipples, sending a jolt through your body; he need not know that you have been wrapped around his finger ever since he pushed you against that desk, and that you’re this close to surrendering to his pleas. You need him.

“Say ‘please’,” you giggle, your cocky façade cracking. After all, you’re endlessly weak for him. 

Hyunjin rolls his eyes, but obliges you anyway. “Please, fuck me.”

You want to have one last word with his attitude, but then his palm cracks hard against your thigh, and your legs give up. Your hips sink fully down onto his lap, and you both cry out at the feeling of being sated in the best possible way. Hyunjin is so deep inside you that you feel like you can barely breathe; yet, your chest rises and falls rapidly, as Hyunjin anchors his hands on your ass, assisting you in riding him.

Hyunjin tilts his head back, the veins along the graceful arch of his neck prominent as your walls pulse around him. Meanwhile, you’re practically shaking at how full he makes you feel, pressed up so deliciously inside of you. You’ll lose your mind if it means you can’t have him like this in every moment for the rest of your life, but it’s an unfortunate truth you’ll have to confront later. For now, you know he’s going to make an absolute mess of you.

“There we go, sweetheart. Use me, take all of what you want from me.” Hyunjin just whispers, guiding the roll of your hips while staring up at you in a way you can’t believe is reserved just for you. Enamored, raptured, and completely captivated. It’s so similar to the way you know you always look at him, that you nearly want to cry at the sight.

You’re breathless, gazing down at the man you love through hazy eyes. Hyunjin always looks beautiful no matter what, but right now, he’s simply breathtaking, with how his hair is so artfully mussed, and how his cheeks are tinged with the blush of pleasure. He’s especially exquisite, knowing that he’s like this just for you.

“F-feel so good, Hyunjin,” you manage, both of you fucking each other at this point— you bouncing on top of him while he fucks into from below with equal energy.

Hyunjin smirks, control coming back to him as you give it up. He licks the pad of his thumb and reaches between you both to rub slow, firm circles on your clit. “Fuck, are you going to come already?” 

In spite of yourself, you shoot him a look that isn’t nearly as sharp as you intended it to be. “You already got me halfway there.”

“Definitely more than halfway— eighty-percent’s more accurate,” Hyunjin responds with haphazardly feigned indignance, before shaking his head and kissing you. He bows his head down to encase your nipple with his lips, gently sucking at the bud while his hand trails over across your chest to grasp and squeeze at your other breast, eliciting a strangled moan from you. “It’s that nice, right? I know, baby. Let go for me.”

And you do. Shattering, fierce, red-hot. You can’t handle the way he’s looking at you, touching you, talking to you. Your toes are numb from how harshly they curl, and your fingers sting from how you dragged them down Hyunjin’s back, hopefully leaving marks for him to smile at later.

“Hyun—” You can’t finish even calling out his name, the attempt fading into something nonsensical. Your eyes water from the intensity of your climax, before nestling into his neck.

But he pulls away to look you in the eye when you come, whimpering hopelessly. “That’s it, let go for me, darling.”

Your vision blurs as your orgasm finally crashes into you, overwhelming and so earth-shatteringly beautiful. Hyunjin’s voice soothes you as he guides you through your high, whispering hushed praises against your skin and doing dangerous things to your heart. A wave of unmatchable euphoria washes over you, but it never passes, like his body is an expert in prolonging the pleasure so intricately. You cannot believe that Hyunjin is real, with the way each time he thrusts into you tips you closer and closer into a never-ending free fall into absolute ecstasy. 

With a soft, drawn out sigh, you finally come, and Hyunjin swears under his breath as you clench around him, your pussy gripping his cock so hard that it almost draws the climax from his body. You find a single ounce of strength in the aftermath, wrapping your arm around Hyunjin’s neck and turning his chin to make him look at you.

“I need you to come for me, Hyunjin,” you say, lips quivering against his.

He groans into your mouth, kissing you deeply. “Where, baby? Tell me where.”

“Inside of me.”

Hyunjin throws his head back, moaning desperately before capturing your mouth in a messy kiss. When he breaks away, a string of saliva connects your lips, and it feels so treacherously erotic. Hyunjin comes while calling your name over and over again, pressing your ass down on his lap as his thrusts become shallower, and more erratic. He rolls his hips a final time, pumping his come as deep as he can into you. And then he slumps against you, panting heavily as he gently lays you back down on the couch to fit you comfortably under the crook of his arm.

You hold each other just like that for a long time, hands clasped together while simply existing in the universe that feels like it is all your own. Hyunjin sighs, kissing you deeply in a way that makes your heart flip. He then pulls back to look down and inspect you, both concern and care written deep in his expression. 

“Are you okay, darling? Was that too much?”

You give him a fucked-out grin, cupping his beautiful face with your palms and reveling in how warm his skin is. “No. That was perfect. You are perfect.”

“I… I’m glad.” Hyunjin blushes and looks away like he’s suddenly tongue-tied, as if he wasn’t moaning the dirtiest things into your mouth just minutes earlier. “I don’t even have the words to describe how I feel about you. You’re… everything, and I won’t ever be able to convey that to you completely.”

Something tells you that he isn’t lying, that he means every word, that this isn’t just some kind of lust-filled one-night stand that’ll merit those awkward, unwanted conversations in the future. Maybe it’s the earnesty in his voice, the pure devotion in his eyes, or maybe, you’ll allow this for yourself, just once. You’ll let yourself be happy, let yourself fall and be caught in his arms. 

“I feel the same way,” you say, feeling the tears of something bittersweet form. “You’re gorgeous, Hyunjin. You know that? I just need you to know that.”

Hyunjin wipes the fresh dampness on your cheeks away with his lips, placing a kiss on your forehead when he’s finished. “We have so much time for you to tell me. We’ll talk tomorrow, baby, I promise. Just rest, for now.”

You sniffle, swiping the backs of your hands over your eyes. “I just wish I was completely sober for our first kiss. I remember it perfectly, but it just had to happen when I was a drunk mess.”

He shakes his head, blinking at you like you make no sense to him. “I wish you could see yourself the way I do.”

“Hyunjin,” you start, heart aching and wistful for his thoughts. It seems like you would want to know everything going on in his mind, but perhaps, the challenge of not knowing and being vulnerable to the mystery, that’s what makes it truly so special.

“I wouldn’t change our first kiss for anything. You were so cute, I should have taken a picture.” Hyunjin smiles down at you fondly, tapping the tip of your nose with his finger. “But if you really want, we can say our first kiss was today.”

You give him a doubtful but adoring look. “That wouldn’t be real.”

Hyunjin shrugs carelessly, nothing but adoration in his tone. “No one has to know except for us. Our lives. Our rules. Our secret. Don’t you trust me?”

Our. You can’t help but feel giddy at that word, the very one that joins you two in the harmony that you’ve yearned for so long. 

“Always.”

Long after the sun has dipped far below the horizon, after every other SeoulSpark employee has gone home for the day, you and Hyunjin lie together on his sofa in a tangle of sated exhaustion. The many hours of finally acting on long pent-up desires have rightfully ended with you drawn close against his chest as you both silently gaze out at the twinkling cityscape. 

For the years that he has been settled in this office, Hyunjin couldn’t help but feel a strange twinge of sadness whenever he looked out at the stretch of towering skyscrapers. After all, he spent all of his time helping others find love, but there he was, left with a great view that he would never be able to share. He told himself that he didn’t mind it, not when his dreams lay solely in working. He would be happy to be the one to bring love to others, if it was never meant to be his. And he repeated it to himself everyday like it was just another mundane step in his cherished daily routine, until he truly started to believe it. 

But how could any of that be true, when he can feel your heartbeat against his own? When the scent of your gardenia shampoo has so gracefully invaded all of his senses? When the moon so delicately traces every single one of your curves, bathing your smooth skin in a silver glow? How could he ever be meant to be alone, when the void in both his heart and arms have finally been filled?

It’s too soon to tell, and it scares the hell out of him to even think about it. But when you look up at him with those starry, radiant eyes, it all seems so worth it, so justified. You are simply the aurora to his night sky— you light him up beyond his own flimsy understanding. Therein lay the words that haven’t strayed from the tip of his tongue ever since he laid his eyes on you. The words he so fervently spelled earlier into your core, joining them with your essence. The words he’ll bite back for as long as he can because he doesn’t want you to leave.

I love you. I love you. I love you.

«GENERAL M.LIST» · «NAVIGATION» · «TALK TO ME» · «TAGLIST»

AUTHOR'S NOTE (& IMPORTANT WRITING UPDATE) Announcement: Jisungsdaydreamer™ has risen from the dead after, like, four months. I apologize, once again, for the terrible wait time. This was my longest gap in posting yet, because it took a while for me to make the adjustment to college. I'm trying to get back to regularly writing, but even when I don't respond/post on here for a while, I just want you to know that I'm still here, and I see you, and I appreciate you! Anyway, I hope you liked the turning point this chapter was (i.e. THEY FINALLY CONFESSED!!!). Cue the fireworks and doves and wedding music!! Also, I just want to mention Yeonjun being a UCLA student- he is sooo Los Angeles coded, and I could totally see him being one of the most popular students at a school like UCLA. And did anyone get my Jane the Virgin reference (hint: it has to do with the grilled cheese recipe)? I used to be obsessed with that show and I have re-watched to the point that I remember almost all of the dialogue... Another thing- for Hyunjin's outfit at the reunion party, I totally was going for what Jungkook was wearing in the 3D music video. I would actually die if Hyunjin dressed up like that IRL. If you know, you know! You can expect the next chapter to come in mid-to-late December, right after my finals (pray for me) finish. Right now, I anticipate finishing Anti-Romantic by the New Year, so I can move onto finishing my other WIPs. Ideally, I'd like to also make a dent on Love Playlist before 2023 is up, but I'm getting ahead of myself! Here's to Dr. Hwang and designer obsessions and being on that sigma grindset. For the next two weeks, I'll be crying over my textbooks in the library while blasting Rock-Star in my headphones. Here's to getting through what I believe is the worst time of year for students! Stay strong and 樂 on 🎸💫 -Dreamy

TAGLIST @skzfelixlove @army-stay-noel, @hwangjuhong, @chizumiyoshi @hyunjinswifeee @geneziesm @sherryblossom @yeetfellx @bennetbutton @chillseo @hyuneyeon @seosalad @nhyunn @hyunjinnie2000 @ajxreads @n2tl4na @yeahhspider @8makes1scream @jetblackbelle @143hyunes @raginghellfire @sinforsuccubus @lixiesw1fe @chartrucewhore @freckleboilix @ultimatestayandminoronce @cheesytangerine @leyknowsbin @stay278 @strawberry-dreamland @lvrgrl-xo @moasworld @hyunnielix @httphans @chaotic-world-of-the-j @nyasstars @beautifulmusicaddict-blog @imasimplol @1clickawayfrominsane @xsw-void @queen-klarissa @hyunjinsamdl @heavenhannie @moasworld @kykeu @sxlxna @writingkills @boomfrogg @tyongyuta @levislifeline @hyunzerolv @starlost-andfound @browniebearr @hanniemylovelyquokka @ardef38 @loveemmy08 @anyhow-everything @liillii @sweetpickledjins @insertsomethingaboutanimehere @kylielovesu @moon0fthenight

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NETWORK TAG @k-films

©jisungsdaydreamer 2023 | All rights reserved. I do not condone translations or transfers of my work onto other platforms such as Wattpad, AO3, etc. Tumblr is my only platform. Acts of plagiarism are strictly prohibited.

#stray kids smut #skz smut #kflixnet #k-labels #straykidsland #hyunjin smut #hwang hyunjin smut #hyunjin x reader #hyunjin x you #neverendingdreams #hyunjin x y/n #anti-romantic #stray kids fic #skz fic #hyunjin fic #stray kids #skz #kpop imagines #skz au #kpop fic #stray kids au #k-films

[tlou-reid]

white lace ✰ steve harrington

warnings ✰ smut, fluff, established relationship, lingerie, big dick!steve

summary ✰ as you expected, date night with steve turns into your first time with him

notes ✰ hi! this is my first smut pls be nice <3 also send requests pls!

“alright so i’ll pick you up, we’ll go get burgers and shakes at the diner, and then go back to my place?” steve confirms your plans, running through them a final time. you answer with a nod, unable to hide the smile he always puts on your face.

“and this is the one you want?” he holds up the movie you picked out, you confirm with a nod. “you’re sure?” you nod again, your smile slightly widening at his teasing. “you’re sure you’re sure?”

“yes, steve!” you exasperate with a grin. god he makes you so happy. “alright, see you later.” he leans across the family video counter to press a short, sweet kiss to your lips. you feel a blush rise to your cheeks, basking in the warmth. you give him a wave as you leave the store.

you and steve hadn’t been together that long. it’s been a little over two months since robin had pulled you from band rehearsal to meet the man you’d heard so much about. your jaw had slightly dropped when you saw his BMW; robin never told you he was rich. robin hadn’t revealed her sexuality to you yet, so it was mind boggling to you how she swore they weren’t together, but you were not complaining. he had flirted with you right off the bat, albeit stumbling over his words. you quickly fell into his trap, falling deeper and deeper in love with him everyday.

as you walked home, you thought of all the things you needed to do. you weren’t completely sure, but you were pretty sure you and steve were going to have sex tonight. it would be your first time together and you know he is far more experienced than you. you weren’t a virgin, thanks to the six month relationship you had with one of the boys in band during your sophomore year. however, you hadn’t had much sex. and you’d have significantly less good sex.

in order to compensate for your lack of experience, you at least wanted to look good. you had stopped by one of the adult stores a little farther down the road than family video was. you wanted something sexy, obviously, but you still wanted to feel like you. you ended on a white set, with little pops of frill and lace. it was cute, and you could probably wear the pieces underneath clothes without it being uncomfortable. you wanted to shave and moisturize so your skin would be nice when touched you. you did a little makeup and styled your hair in a way that was cute but suitable for movie night.

you had started to relax when you heard tapping on your door. you knew it was steve, his shift had ended 26 minutes ago. with the time it took to check out the movie you’d picked out, he had left right from work. “hi,” he smiled with a big grin as you pulled the door open, “ready?”

you nodded excitedly, grabbing your bag off the table next to the door and heading out. you were surprised how natural everything felt. you didn’t get shy or embarrassed to eat around him. you laughed when he threw fries into your shake. it was genuinely a nice time.

until you were climbing back into the car after leaving the diner. the nerves started to settle in as you creeped closer to his (very large) house. he must’ve noticed the way you picked at your cuticles, asking a simple “you good?” to which you only responded with a nod.

“did you want me to make popcorn now?” he asked after setting up the movie and gathering blankets to the couch. “of course, we can’t not have popcorn” you insisted. he raised his hand in defense and went to make popcorn. you couldn’t help but smile at his actions. once he settled into the couch, propping the popcorn bowl in the small space in between your and his thigh, he started the movie. within the first 45 minutes, you guys had finished the bowl and it was moved to the table.

you swore you were calm. there was no awkward tension, you were simply enjoying a movie with your boyfriend. so calm. so cool. so collected.

until his hand made its way to your thigh.

there was nothing inherently sexual about it, just a man resting his hand on his girlfriend’s thigh. it happened to people all of the time. was an everyday occurrence for a lot of people. but you knew the weight it helped.

and when his hand started gently rubbing on it, you were the farthest away from calm you’d been in your whole entire life. you were still questioning if this was his attempt at making a sexual advance. his hand was rubbing along your thigh, but his eyes were very trained on the movie in front of you two. you were questioning your every move, but it seemed as though your body was moving for you. you leaned closer to him, which naturally made his hand closer, now resting on your inner thigh. your eyes were trained on his face, so you definitely noticed when he looked over at you. it was quick, but you noticed and you knew he noticed that you noticed.

“you’re not even watching the movie,” he laughed out, pointing to the screen with his other hand. “i did a lot of hard work to get this specific one for you and you’re not even watching it.” he was teasing. there was no hard work involved. you knew you could’ve easily hit him with a quip about how easy his life was, but you were nervous, so you just kept looking at him. he noticed your lack of a smart reply and turned to give you his full attention. just like in the car, he asked, “you good?”

“are we going to have sex tonight?” you rushed out, not even meaning to. your nerves had now taken over all of your thoughts. steve paused the movie, shifting his body to face you. he had a small blush spreading across his cheek, “i mean, do you want to?” he asked, but with a hesitation to his voice. he knew it was a possibility, but he didn’t plan for it. he wasn’t sure about your comfort level with sex and such, so he wanted you to be in control and initiate it.

“honestly,” you started with a breath of relief, “i’m not sure.” for some reason, steve now found this quite amusing. “what do you mean?” he asked with a chuckle.

“i mean, i’m ready for it. physically and emotionally. but i’m also so nervous. i really like you, steve. i don’t want anything to mess it up.” you confessed. steve smiled, and say anything. he leaned forward to press his lips to yours. he started lightly, not wanting to scare you away. but when you kissed him harder, and pulled him closer, he enjoy for just a few seconds, before pulling away. “you’re really not going to mess anything, i promise. i really like you too.”

with that, his lips were back on yours. it was almost intoxicating the way his lips felt on yours. it was hard, it was messy, it was passionate. he pushed you back so you were laying on the couch, trapped in between his arm that was resting on his elbows next to your head, and the side of the couch. his other hand traced down the side of your body, before he moved it back to the inner part of your thigh. “if you want me to stop, just say it,” he instructed.

“no, please,” you begged without when meaning to, “i don’t want you to stop.” your lips raced back to meet his. his hand moved up, rubbing your clothed core. “can we take these off?” he asked with a hint of desperation. you quickly nodded. your hands accidentally swatted his as you both reached for your shorts. all of your nerves subsided when you heard his laugh at this. it was pure lust and excitement now. “i got it, baby.” he pushed your hands away and made quick of pulling your shorts down.

his fingers over your pussy felt heavenly, even with your underwear still in the way. “can i take this off?” you pulled at his shirt, wanting to feel more of him. he pulled away for just a second, to pull his shirt over his head. “your turn,” he said as he reached for the bottom of your shirt. once it was off, his eyes landed on your bra. “oh my god,” he whispered to himself at the sight of your lingerie. this brought a smile to your face, “i got it for you.” you informed him.

“god, woman, what am i going to do with you?” there was a hint of smugness in his voice as he complimented you. “you’re so beautiful.” his mouth moved to your neck, kissing down to your collarbone as his hands went back to their place, rubbing your pussy. you let out a few whimpers at his actions. it went on like this for a few more minutes before his hand moved from your pussy to the waist line of your underwear.

“you’ve soaked through these, let’s take ‘em off.” you lifted your hips for him to do so. when his fingers returned to their place, rubbing figure eights against your now uncovered clit, you swore you were in heaven. he stopped kissing your neck to watch your face as he slid his two of his long fingers into your hole. you could feel his dick jump at the way your face twisted up in pleasure. you left out a loud moan at the way his fingers pounded you perfectly. “c‘mon baby,” he encouraged as his thumb came back up to rub on your clit. within a few seconds, and with a loud drawl of his name, you came on his fingers.

“steve, please,” you begged once again. “please what?” he teased. “want you to fuck me.”

it was all you had to say to have him pulling his pants down his legs, his underwear coming with. your bra had long been pushed up over your boobs so his mouth could have access to them while he fingered you. but still, you took this time to pull take it off, so you were fully naked underneath him. “fuck,” steve said when he looked back at you, “you’re so fucking sexy.”

“do you have a condom?” you asked, wanting to make sure you two were engaging in safe sex. he reached to where he threw his pants next to the couch, pulling one out of his pocket. so he was planning on doing something with you tonight. the thought, somehow, turned you on even more.

he slipped the condom on and reached down to line his dick up with entrance and allowed his eyes to meet yours. he noticed how wide your pupils were due to your arousal. he c ontinued to watch your face as he pushed into you. you reached to put one of your hands on his chest, stilling his movements.

“‘s so big,” you said, indicating that you needed time to adjust. he granted you this, with a smirk spreading across his face. “i got’cha baby, adjust to my big dick.” he encouraged. in a few seconds you moved your hand so he could bottom out. “okay?” he asked. you nodded, unable to produce coherent words— or even thoughts—as he started to move. his strokes started small, allowing you to feel his pelvis bone rocking against your clit as he moved.

“steve,” you moaned out, “more.” he chuckled, before reaching both hands down to grab your hips. he used them to brace himself as he quicker his pace, hitting you deeper than you even thought was possible. you weren’t lying earlier, his dick was so big. this is probably why he could pull all those girls when he was in high school, you thought.

those thoughts were quickly pushed away, and your head was made relatively empty, when he moved his right hand to rub your clit as he fucked you hard and deep. both of your moans were getting louder, as he brought you closer to another orgasm. “you gonna come for me, huh? come on my cock this time?” he asked before letting out a soft moan.

you couldn’t even reply, as his words brought you to your high. “that’s it, baby,” he encouraged as you came around his cock. watching you pushed him over the edge, spilling into the condom with a “fuck, baby” coming out of his mouth. his body collapsed on yours, head burrowing into your neck. “was it good?” you asked, not exactly sure what to do next. your felt his hair tickle your jawline as he nodded a ‘yes’. you smiled and wrapped your arms around his back.

“i love you,” you spoke before pressing a kiss into the top of his head. he didn’t answer, but left a small kiss on your shoulder, and you knew he meant that he loved you too.

#steve harrington #steve harrington smut #steve harrington blurb #steve harrington imagine #steve harrington x reader #steve harrington x y/n #stranger things smut #stranger things imagine #stranger things blurb #stranger things x y/n #stranger things x reader #steve harrington fic #steve harrington x you #stranger things drabble #steve harrington drabble #big dick!steve

[kastelixa]

ᶻ 𝗓 𐰁✰ With Leon and hybrid! reader…

As much as I love a good Leon and hybrid! reader fic… there needs to be more variety! Puppies are cute and so are bunnies and kitties, but what about birds? Or deer? Fish?

Warnings?: None! Purely SFW, fluffy content.

Note:(These are all my hc’s and ideas on those specific hybrid mixes, sorta just random lol).

With Bird Hybrid! Reader…

Like, imagine Leon with a bird hybrid. He’d be absolutely mesmerized with your pretty wings. They could be a pretty brown, like a finches. Or a colorful rainbow, like a Scarlet Macaw’s.

Of course, there would be feathers everywhere. On the bed, the couch, the floor… but Leon doesn’t mind. Not one bit. In fact, he’d collect them all, keep them safe in a jar or in a drawer. All those feathers are precious to him, because they were once a part of you.

Though the cleanup certainly does take a while. And it mayyy occasionally have him huffing to himself.

you’d wake him up with your pretty chirps, the sound reaching his ears like a sweet bell. The soft, excited flapping of your wings send a light breeze, eliciting goosebumps to emerge on his skin. Such a great thing to wake up to, really. Even if he’s a little grumpy at times.

Even if it comes with the occasional grumbled: “Jeez, if I wanted a morning rooster i’d get one…”

Did I mention he loves your wings? He loves your wings. And you do too. You take great care of them. The hybrid center provides preening help; due to a lack of a beak, you have to use specialized items from the center. Such as specific oils and moisturizers, (and Leon helps on occasion too when he can! Just a simple pinch and twist and a pin feather is out whenever you go through a molt).

Having to research birds in general before retrieving you from the center, Leon had already picked up on a lot of your behavior. Your feathers fluff up on a particularly cold day? He’s immediately by your side trying to warm you up. Your pupils dilate upon seeing something interesting? He points it out and brings you closer.

Though of course, those behaviors could come from negative causes as well. Such as seeing something distressing or hearing something loud. Leon soothes you as best as he can, cooing reassurances and comforting words.

“Hey, birdie. Look at me. S’okay, yeah? Just focus on me. I got you.”

With Deer Hybrid! Reader…

I’d like to imagine that instead of retrieving you from the center, he’d find you in a forest. It’s a few days into winter and theres a light fluff of snow coating everything: the trees, the grass, and you.

He’s on his way back home from a mission, but due to how far he is he decides to stay at a cabin for the night. The sight is pretty, and despite the cold, it’s cozy.

Though, just as he’s bringing his things in, something catches his eye. It’s you, standing a few feet away, curiously mesmerized by the pretty light emitting from the cabin’s interior.

Your antlers (if masc) stand tall and proud, covered in a light layer of snow.

(If fem) Your pretty ears flicker lightly, the slow falling snow landing on them and painting them white.

Leon’s completely entranced. From your doe eyes to the tail attached to you, a light brown with a pearly white underneath. He’s heard of hybrids before, but only the typical ones. You, you’re different.

And he has to have you. So he spends several days at that cabin, more than he’d admit. Forgetting about his original goal to head home, he makes a new one.

Throughout those days, he leaves food. Attempting to coax you closer, just enough to see the pretty fur on your ears and tail. You’re so skittish, so easily spooked away. And at times it gets frustrating, but he pushes through.

Because he needs you. and he will get you. Besides, he kinda has that hunter mentality at times, doesn’t he?

(I can’t decide on if a deer hybrid would have a satyr-like appearance, since with just the ears and tail it gets boring. So, for the time being i’m going with that!)

With Fish Hybrid! Reader…

With hybrid centers, I like to think that there’s different ones that cater to whatever specific type of hybrids they have under their care.

So for aquatic hybrids, they’d have a more aquarium built center.

And when you piqué Leon’s interest, he immediately looks into proper care for aquatics online.

Oh boy, that’s a lot of money.

Not a big deal for an agent like him. So, he buys the best of the best. Though, that involves some renovations to his place of stay. After all, you need a huge tank, and lots of water.

not to mention filters and tank decorations… it’s a whole process, alright?

However, once you’re moved in— Leon finds himself rather frustrated. He’s completely hypnotized by the way you move underwater, the ethereal blue glow making the scales of your tail gain an iridescent glow. But, he can’t really touch you, now can he?

He needs air to breath, and you can’t stay out of water.

But that doesn’t stop him. Because even if his heart flutters just by seeing you, he needs more. Pressing his palm against the glass of your huge tank isn’t enough. Besides, he can swim, right?

Well, not frequently. But with you in his life, swimming has become a part of it too. Constantly, he finds himself in your tank until his skin starts to prune. Only then will he get out.

In the water, he doesn’t hesitate on touching you. His fingertips glide against your scales, feeling the smooth center of the hard shells all the way to the sharp edges. It never fails to send pleasant shivers down his spine.

“Pretty,” he’d comment in a soft murmur, eyes slowly tracing over the outline of every cycloid scale.

What type of fish are you? A multicolored Koi? A sunny goldfish? Or maybe a neon Beta? It doesn’t matter, whatever you are; Leon is absolutely smitten.

The water may be cold, but somehow, you manage to warm him up every time. He’s careful not to damage your delicate fins whenever he embraces you with his arms. He wishes he could hold you forever, wishes the elements weren’t so cruel in this case.

But for now, he’s content with what he has. For you, it’s all worth it.

(Essentially, reader’s appearance is that of a mermaid’s. But, I didn’t wanna consider it mermaid exactly cause, there’s like so much pretty fish with different forms and shapes. That’s more interesting to me than a typical mermaid, iykwim LOL).

I had to research so much y’all omg.

ANYWAYS, these were my little random ass ideas on those specific hybrid types. Most of it was bad building BUT I tried my best so. I hope you liked reading!

#kastelixa ꒰ა ☆ ໒꒱ #kastelixa #leon kennedy x you #leon kennedy x y/n #leon kennedy fluff #leon s kennedy x you #leon s kennedy x reader #leon s kennedy x y/n #resident evil x reader #fluff #leon kennedy #leon kennedy x reader

[crossdreamers]

Have people always thought that gender differences are caused by men and women belonging to different biological sexes?

Not too long ago Europeans believed that men and women were variants of one biological sex. The idea that gender can be reduced to a static and unchangeable "biological sex" is far from obvious.

These days we often find transphobes and anti-LGBTQ activists talk about "biological sex" and the way genitalia, gonads or chromosomes determine our gender and the abilities associated with that sex.

This is a way of upholding traditional gender roles and force queer and trans people back into the closet.

Same-sex sexuality is, apparently, bad because it is unnatural and does not lead to procreation. Transgender people are wrong about their identity because a gender identity follows automatically from their biological sex.

Many transphobes see these statements as self-evident and eternal. It is "the woke mob" that is misleading our youth and destroying God and Nature given facts.

But if this was self-evident, we would expect this belief of extreme gender polarities to be found in the past too, right?

The pre-modern one sex model

No. In pre-modern Europe from Antiquity and up to the Enlightenment and beyond, we find completely different models of sex and gender.

In many parts of Europe you would definitely find strict rules and regulations for how men and women should dress, work, behave and have sex. These were not societies based on gender equality. But that did not mean that they had a model of sex and gender based on biologically rigid polarities.

The four humors

The humor theory of the time stated that a person's personality and abilities were shaped by the balance between the four humors, blood (associated with the element air and dryness) , yellow bile (fire/heat), black bile (earth/cold) and phlegm (water/moisture). 

Men were thought to be primarily hot and dry, while women were most often cold and wet.

But people also recognized that there were men and women with a different balance of the humors. Indeed different proportions of the different elements in the body combined with astrological influences was used to explain why persons behaved the way they did.

In Shakespeare's plays a lot of choler (yellow bile/fire) is seen as valuable in male warriors but a problem in "choleric" women. Hence the need for laws to keep them in line. Men and women with too much black bile would become "melancholic". So it is not nature that dictates the behavior and gender roles of men and women, but men.

The big shift

In the book Making Sex: Body and Gender from the Greeks to Freud, Thomas Laqueur's argues that there was a huge shift in attitudes toward human sexual anatomy during the 18th and 19th centuries.

He argues that doctors before that time had seen the female body as a weak variant of the male one. The relative lack of fire and air caused the female reproductive organs to remain inside the body, but the vagina was, in fact, an inverted penis. Anatomists argued that the labia was a parallel to the foreskin, the uterus to the scrotum, and the ovaries to the testicles. There was only two variants of one sex, Laqueur argues.

There was also a clear overlap in other bodily functions. Doctors accepted that there were men who could lactate, because why not?

A Renaissance sex change

Indeed, as the 16th century story of Germain Garnier tells us, doctors might even argue that a woman called Mary could transform into a man named Germain. This change was induced by an excess of heat caused by some strenuous physical exercise, both Germain and the experts of the time agreed.

Both the doctors and the local Bishop accepted that Garnier had become a "real" man and that he therefore had to follow the laws for men from then on.

The important thing here is not whether this transformation was true or not, but that the "experts" of the time had a model of sex and gender that allowed for it.

What is different with is that some people today think that the extreme gender differences they believe in are "natural", as based in biology, with laws given by nature, while the pre-modern approach argued that the differences were dictated by God and the authorities.

The point here is not to say that the pre-modern view of biology, sex and gender was the correct one. The point is to show that the traditionalist "biology is destiny" narrative is not self-evident or "common sense". It is simply based on a different set of prejudices. For most of history Europeans have believed in very different models.

See also:

A Short History of the Roots of Transphobic Science

William Shakespeare’s Love for a Transfeminine Crossdreamer

Thomas Laqueur: Making Sex: Body and Gender from the Greeks to Freud

Marissa Cranell: Utterly Confused Categories: Gender NonConformity in Late Medieval and Early Modern Western Europe

Illustration of the four humors from the National Library of Medicine.

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