#going home at 7pm exhausted and having to cook and do groceries and like at what time am i gonna find the strength to write?? it's been 3

[steamishot]

healthier

the vacation for the vacations - staying at home. since september 2022, i’ve been saying we need to stay at home, but for the past 7 months or so, i believe we traveled at least once a month, each month. to recap:

sept 2022: philly (bus)

sept 2022: tentrr camping (train)

oct 2022: LA (flight)

nov 2022: montreal (flight)

nov 2022: LA (flight)

dec 2022: NOLA (flight)

jan 2023: snowboarding trip in NJ (car rental)

feb 2023: autocamp in catskills, NY (car rental)

feb 2023: SF (for me)/LA (flight)

march 2023: portugal (flight)

goddamn, after writing it out, we’ve been to LA 3x in the past half year, and we had 12+ flights in the last 7 months. this is part of our learning process. LA is fine because it’s going to see family and we’re not as in a rush to do anything in particular. but the flying does take a toll. my life had become a series of unpacking and packing for the next thing. since portugal, i think we got it out of our systems; the thought of getting on another flight disturbs me as of now lol. but, we still have some obligations like weddings & a family trip to attend in the coming months.

ideally, i’d want no more than to fly every other month. a roundtrip flight in a consecutive month is too exhausting. the next trip we have will be in cape cod, which is a 4 hour drive. the next flight probably won’t be until may when we have a family trip in TN. 

we’ve been making great strides in becoming healthier since matt’s ER visit and portugal. it is possible that a crash and burn was needed to secure change.

it’s officially one whole month that matt has gone without drinking coffee (outside of taking a couple sips from mine here and there). he really has stopped yawning and his anxiety has significantly lessened. he’s currently on night shifts, and for the last 6 days has gone to the gym to run and workout for ~40 mins after his 12 hour shift (got that natural energy). this has been the best night shifts in terms of his mood. he used to get irritable/sensitive but now has learned to manage his schedule better. he’s more carefree about going into work (leaving the house at 7pm now instead of 6:30pm), we got a small sleeping bag for him to use so he’s actually been taking short naps/lying down at work (instead of chugging coffee like he used to to get by). this is the happiest i’ve seen him since 2nd year of residency. 

i decided to start my days earlier. because my work doesn’t start until 11am, i developed a bad habit of sleeping in until like ~10am on most days. this week, i woke up when matt came home from work (7-8am). i would go run errands or make breakfast when he was at the gym. i found it to be really refreshing to be out at 8am with the other early birds and grocery shopping/being out in general is so much more pleasant when there aren’t huge crowds or lines. on his day shifts, i’m going to try and wake up at 6am too (LOL sounds crazy in concept but i’ll try). 

we used to order delivery a LOT. i think a big reason was because matt wanted to eat unhealthy/tasty food due to stress (and added stress from overconsuming caffeine). we’ve cut back and i’ve been cooking much more. i’m actually so excited. continuing to learn to make sustainable things (i.e. stuff that doesn’t take very long to prepare, and using ingredients that aren’t one and done). my new fav youtube cook is marion grasby. i also recently got a cast iron (as inspired by G) and it has been very fun to cook with. i’ve been making more vegetables in general (i didn’t like to eat greens growing up). 

it’s been one week since returning from portugal and i feel recovered finally. talk about needing a vacation from your vacation(s). i looked like crap in our photos (also my eyebrow pencil ran out on the first day of the trip). after reading my recap of the trip, it sounds insane - running on little sleep, not taking naps, and continuing to go - no wonder i got sick. with the trips and consistent going out, i’ve been neglecting work and my studies. always feeling like i’m playing catch up or doing a crash course to make up for stuff. i’ve been behind in my accounting degree and feel bad that i’m letting my program mentor down for my lack of efforts in the past half-year. 

the next two months, i want to be a lot more consistent with work, studies and working out. traveling disrupts all of these things for me - the traveling itself, and also the planning/preparation/rest/adjustments. traveling requires us to first be healthy and rested (which is why back to back traveling with limited time does not work well). 

[writing-and-bad-decisions]

A Serendipitous Dinner Party

A Haikyuu Fan fiction

Pairing: Yaku/Lev

Words: 3771

Summary:

Yaku was on his third lap of the store and was yet to find his packaged dinner. To say he was impatient would be an understatement. He scanned the shelves, squinting at the packages in his exhaustion as he rounded the corner into the next aisle and walked into someone's chest. He stumbled back with a grunt.

"I'm so sorry–" He paused as he looked up. "Lev?"

"Yaku-san?" The two of them stared at each other for a moment, startled to see each other outside of practice. A voiced piped up beside Lev.

"Lyovochka who's this?"

---

Alternatively,

All Yaku wanted was to purchase his ramen, but Alisa Haiba seemed to have other plans. Lev was mortified. But as the the night went on, Yaku began to realise that the tall first year may not have been as intolerable as he first thought.

Note:

Surprisingly, this is actually the first serious attempt I’ve ever made at writing fan fiction. I don’t know if I’ll write anything else similar to this, (potentially, I found this pretty easy and enjoyable to write) but we’ll see. Any constructive criticism you may have is eagerly appreciated! I know this isn’t perfect but I quite like how it turned out. 

Anyway, I hope you enjoy!

---

It was typical for Yaku's parents to go out abruptly and leave him without any plans for dinner. So there he was, 7pm on a Friday night buying packaged Ramen. He had already decided what he was going to do when he got home. Heat up his ramen, get in his pyjamas, and eat it on his bed before passing out. A perfect, lazy end to a very stressful and tiring week. At least it would be, if Yaku could find where his damn ramen was.

He was on his third lap of the store and was yet to find his packaged dinner. To say he was impatient would be an understatement. He scanned the shelves, squinting at the packages in his exhaustion as he rounded the corner into the next aisle and walked into someone's chest. He stumbled back with a grunt.

"I'm so sorry–" He paused as he looked up. "Lev?"

"Yaku-san?" The two of them stared at each other for a moment, startled to see each other outside of practice. A voiced piped up beside Lev.

"Lyovochka who's this?" The woman was tall, standing at shoulder height to Lev, with long silver-blonde hair and piercing green eyes. Very obviously his relative, she looked to be about a year or two older than Yaku.

"Oh, um... This is Yaku-san." Lev replied, glancing back and fourth between the two nervously. Unlike Yaku, he had changed out of his practice clothes, sporting jeans and a casual shirt.

"Is he one of your friends from school?" She asked, eyeing the red Nekoma jacket tied around his waist. She had a bit of an accent, he noticed.

"He's one of my teammates, from volleyball." The woman turned to him, flashing perfect white teeth.

"It's lovely to meet you Yaku-san. I'm Alisa Haiba, Lyovochka's older sister." She bowed politely, clasping her hands by her designer skirt. She had an expensive fashion taste, to say the least.

"Nice to meet you too," He replied, feeling a little awkward. The last thing he wanted right now was to be sucked into a conversation with Lev and his sister, but it didn't seem that he would be able to get away anytime soon. Looking him up and down, Alisa gave Yaku a puzzled look.

"You're a little short for the volleyball team though, aren't you? No matter! You still have some growing to do. Tell me, are you in any of Lev's classes?" Yaku tensed up, and it took all of his willpower not to show the annoyance on his face as he realised she had just mistaken him for a first year. He dragged his eyes to Lev, ready for his laugher, but was surprised to find him panicked.

"Alisa no Yaku-san is a third year! And he's a libero so he's meant to be short! He's one of the best players on the team." She laughed at her mistake.

"I apologise Yaku-san, I'm not very knowledgeable about volleyball." She smiled at him, and he concluded that Alisa had the same air-headed nature as her brother, though less annoying.

"It's fine." He replied, "It happens all the time."

"Say, what are you doing at the grocery store so late?" She asked. This was the perfect opportunity to get away from the two of them.

"My parents are out tonight, so I was just buying some things for dinner. Speaking of–" But she cut him off.

"Why don't you come over to ours for dinner!" Lev's eyes widened. "Lev and I are also eating alone tonight and we would love the company." Lev tried to stammer something out, but he couldn't find the words.

"No! Uh, thank you, but that's fine, I wouldn't want to intrude." Yaku couldn't imagine anything more awkward than spending dinner with the two of them.

"Nonsense!" She continued "We're going to be making this large stew and there's no way for us to finish it on our own. It would be a delight to have you over." Alisa smiled at him expectantly, her perfect teeth gleaming, and Yaku realised there was no way for him to refuse politely. Lev looked like he wanted to crawl up into a hole and die. His expression would have amused him if it wasn't such an uncomfortable situation. He smiled shakily.

"Sure thing, thank you." Alisa clapped her hands together.

"Excellent! Let us gather the rest of the ingredients." Lev was momentarily stunned, likely not expecting Yaku to accept the offer.

She grabbed Lev by the arm and tugged him forward, snapping him out of his daze, before walking on ahead. The two were left to follow behind awkwardly.

Lev leaned down, speaking to him for the first time since their initial collision.

"I am so sorry." He whispered. Yaku sighed and squared his features, trying not to look annoyed.

"It's fine, not like I had anything else on tonight." He was quiet for a moment, before adding "This better be a good stew."

---

Yaku followed the two Haibas as they made their way around the store, gathering various ingredients before making their way towards the checkout.

"Could you boys carrying the bags for me? I need to make a phone call." Alisa said, before leading the way out of the store. Yaku gazed wistfully at the display of ramen they passed on the way out, cursing himself for missing it, before reluctantly following. Alisa was talking loudly in Russian to someone on the phone, and much to his annoyance, Yaku was struggling to keep up with the two's long strides. Damn his short legs.

"Lev." He called, and the aforementioned Russian turned his head questionably. Seeing him lagging behind, Lev slowed his pace sheepishly.

"Our house is just around the corner." He said. "I'm sorry if we're going out of your way." Yaku shrugged. It was a mild night, warm with a slight breeze that brushed through Lev's silver locks.

"It's fine. It's not that far from my house." They were silent for a moment. Up ahead, Alisa was still droning on.

"I thought you said you couldn't speak Russian." Yaku commented. Lev quirked his head in confusion.

"Huh? I can't." He gestured to Lev's sister. "Oh, I have no idea what she's saying. Alisa is working abroad in Russia, and she was always interested in learning the language, while I wasn't really bothered."

"You didn't learn from your parents?"

"Ah well, my father is Russian, and he's not around anymore, so..." Lev trailed off.

"Oh, I'm sorry." Yaku said, fiddling with the shopping bags uncomfortably.

"No! It's fine! It's not a sensitive subject or anything." The two fell into an awkward silence.

---

Shortly, they arrived at Lev and Alisa's house.

The Haiba house was smaller than Yaku expected, though cozy. The downstairs area was an open-plan, encompassing the kitchen, dining room and living room in the large space. Adorning the walls were various framed photographs of the two siblings and their mother, as well as a few paintings. Yaku couldn't help pausing at one of the frames, a photograph of Lev when he was younger, probably in elementary school. Small, but noticeably lanky for someone his age, he was grinning widely with the child-like innocence he still carried with him. He was standing next to his sister and a woman Yaku assumed to be their mother. She was noticeably Japanese, with black hair and tanner skin. You couldn't tell they were related, aside from the toothy smile they all shared. Lev and his sister had obviously taken more after their European father. The photo made something inside Yaku soften, they seemed so happy.

Shoving that thought into the back of his mind, he followed the two over to the kitchen island and rested the bags on the countertop, beginning to unpack the groceries. Looking at all the ingredients laid out on the counter, Yaku thought they weren't kidding about it being a large stew.

"Oh dear!" Alisa cried suddenly. He and Lev shared a concerned look.

"Is everything alright?" Yaku asked. She shook her head, long hair flowing with the motion.

"We forgot the fondant for the cake tomorrow." She said to Lev.

"Oh dammit. What should we do?" Alisa grabbed her purse from the counter.

"I'll run back to the store before it closes, Lyovochka, you start on dinner for when I get back." She was already out the door before he could reply.

The two boys stared at each other awkwardly again, before Yaku broke the silence.

"Well, I'll help you cook then." And Lev simply nodded. "So what are we making?"

"Solyanka." He was met with a blank stare. Lev elaborated, "It's like, a sweet and sour beef stew."

"Alright, so where do we start?"

Lev instructed him to set up a pot on the stove and fry the bacon and beef, whilst he begun chopping up the vegetables. Leaning against the countertop, Yaku watched as Lev expertly sliced through the carrots, before moving onto the onions, cutting them quickly and precisely. He was surprised at how apt he was at it, considering his clumsy nature.

"Do you do a lot of the cooking in your household?" Yaku found himself asking. He had to force himself to stop watching Lev's long fingers work and concentrate on the pot. Lev hummed.

"Yeah. My parents work late so I generally make dinner for us. My sister is home for the next few weeks though, so I'll have her home helping me out."

"That's really cool. The–uh, cooking part." he paused for a moment "Honestly, I was planning on just making packaged ramen tonight."

"Ramen! That's not very nutritious Yaku-san." He teased, smiling to himself but not taking his eyes off the cutting board. "Good thing you're eating here tonight, this stew's full of healthy-goodness. It'll help you grow big and tall!"

"What exactly are you implying, Lev?" Yaku narrowed his eyes. Lev glanced up at him and squeaked in fear, which caused Yaku to laugh.

"I'm kidding." The tall boy sighs in relief. Slicing up the last clove of garlic, he was finished with the vegetables.

"What's next?"

"How's the meat coming along?" Lev came over to inspect the pan. "Looking good! We need to add the vegetables next. Would you mind grabbing the paprika and the pepper? They're in the cupboard over there."

"Sure." Yaku opened the pantry and scanned the shelves. "Where is it?"

"Should be in there." Lev says absentmindedly, focusing on pouring in and stirring the vegetables. Yaku looked over the assortment of spices, herbs and condiments again, before spotting the paprika and pepper.

On the top shelf.

He let out a sigh, remembering who's house he was currently in, before shifting to balance on his toes. His fingers barely grazed the edge of the shelf. He grunted, stretching his arm as far as he could, to no avail. Lev must have noticed him.

"Oh, sorry." He heard Lev walk over and before he could even process it, the tall first year was reaching over him. His chest brushed against his back and Yaku's breath hitched in his throat. He could feel Lev's breath on the top of his head, the heat radiating off of him, before the contact was gone as soon as it came, and Lev was back standing over the stove. Yaku stood stunned for a moment, his heartbeat heavy in his ears. What the hell was that?

Yaku shook himself out of it, closing the pantry  door and leaning against the cupboards. He watched Lev stir the pot, humming with the little half smile he had permanently plastered to his face. He looked more natural like this, more comfortable and relaxed compared to how he was on the court. He was quieter as well, Yaku reflected, which was nice. Maybe the overzealous underclassmen wasn't as irritating as he previously thought.

Lev looked over to him and smiled eagerly, motioning him over.

"It's starting to smell really good!" Yaku leaned over the pot, taking a tentative sniff. He sighed in satisfaction, the stew giving off a heavy and delicious aroma.

"It smells amazing." He replied, and Lev seemed to smile even wider at that.

"Now we just need to stir it a bit more and leave it to simmer, then it'll be ready." He announced cheerfully.

From across the room, the door clicked open and Alisa walked through.

"Smells good!" She called out.

"Alisa! You were gone a while." She dropped her purse on the island counter, along with a packet of fondant.

"They were out so I had to run to a different store. Crisis averted." She smiled at Yaku. "Yaku-san, I hope Lyovochka has been a good host and hasn't annoyed you too much."

"Alisa!" He whined in response. Yaku laughed.

"He's been... tolerable." The comment caused her to laugh, and Lev just pouted in response.

"Well, anyway, dinner seems to be coming along nicely. I have a few things I need to get done, I'll leave you boys to it." She turned and disappeared up the stairs.

Yaku turned back to Lev to see him already out of his sour mood, shuffling around and retrieving the cutlery and a tablecloth.

"I'll set the table, can you mind the pot?" Yaku humed in response, though as Lev walked into the dining room, he found himself watching him again. He lifted the tablecloth onto the table and smoothed it out gently with his hands, the motion oddly tender. The warm feeling from earlier sprung up in Yaku's chest. There was something strangely endearing about watching Lev being so domestic.

He watched Lev go back and fourth between the kitchen and the table a few times, attentive of the way he moved and how he organised the cutlery and plates delicately.

"I almost forgot about the bread." He said, entering the kitchen again. He begun slicing up a large loaf of sourdough.

"You and your sister seem to get along well." Yaku said softly. He wasn't sure where the comment came from, maybe he was just searching for something to say.

"Yeah, Alisa and I have always been close, though she likes treating me like I'm still her little baby brother." He chuckled to himself. Yaku nudged him, the gesture abnormally gentle.

"What are you talking about? You are a little baby."

"Am not."

"Are too, little first year."

"Little third year." He retorted, and Yaku leaned over and kicked him in the shin. He groaned, before straightening up. "Anyway, do you have any siblings, Yaku-san?"

"No, I'm an only child." He found himself looking at the family portraits again, the happy faces smiling back. "... it's lonely, sometimes." Yaku's eyes widened a fraction, he didn't know what compelled him to say that.

"A-anyway, how long until the stew is ready?" Lev leaned to check the oven clock.

"It's ready now! Could you go get Alisa while I serve up?" Yaku voiced his agreement and made his way over to the stairs. He paused, debating whether to find her or simply call out from the stairwell. He chose the latter option.

"Alisa!" He called. After a few moments, a door opened upstairs.

"Dinner?"

"Yeah."

"On my way!"

Yaku made his made to the dining table, where Lev was carefully placing the pot.

"Where do you want me to sit?" Yaku asked. Lev plucked the oven mitts off his hands.

"Just there's fine."

"That smells delicious, I can't wait!" Alisa smiled, sitting down across from him and next to Lev. "You've outdone yourself this time Lyovochka!" She ruffled his hair and he grinned. Yaku found himself smiling at the interaction.

"Yaku-san helped too!" Lev said cheerfully.

"I didn't do much..." He was feeling timid all of a sudden.

"Thank you for your help Yaku-san. Well, let's begin shall we?" The three clasped their hands together, expressing gratitude for the meal, before they began to serve the stew. The two Haiba siblings insisted that Yaku served himself first, much to his disagreement. The stew was thick and steaming as Yaku rose his spoon to his mouth. He was vaguely aware of the two watching him, waiting for his reaction.

As he slipped the spoonful in his mouth, the taste overwhelmed his senses. The stew was creamy and warm, with a sweet flavour to the beef and a subtle, sour aftertaste. He couldn't stop the soft moan that swelled in his throat, his eyes fluttering closed in a moment of ecstasy.

"I think... that's the best thing I've eaten all year." He exhaled.

"I-I'm glad you liked it." Lev rubbed the back of his neck, a tint of colour appearing on his face. Yaku had never seen him bashful before.

"Solyanaka is Lyovochka's specialty!" Alisa chirped. "It's his favourite as well." Lev grinned quietly to himself. Alisa grabbed the plate of sourdough and held it out to Yaku.

"Try it with some bread!" Yaku did, and the sourdough added a thick foundation to the flavour of the stew. The three enjoyed their meal quietly for a few minutes, before Yaku spoke up.

"So, Alisa-san, Lev mentioned that you work abroad?" She nodded, swallowing.

"In Russia, though I'm home for a few weeks taking time off."

"What's your occupation?" He asked.

"She's a model!" Lev butted in proudly, and she grinned bashfully. Yaku's eyes widened.

"Really?" Looking her over again, it wasn't really that surprising. She had a sharp but soft face, and an overall elegant demeanour. "That explains why you're so pretty." The words slipped out on their own, and he tensed up.

"U-um, that's not, I mean–" He stammered, but Alisa laughed.

"It's okay, I know what you're trying to say." He fiddled with his spoon nervously, trying to ignore the heat in his face. He didn't mean for that to come out so flirtatiously. She was beautiful, there was no doubt about it, but Yaku didn't find himself attracted to her. Looking up from his plate he found Lev pouting at his sister, almost as if he was jealous of the complement.

"So you and Lyovochka are on the same volleyball team Yaku-san?" Alisa inquired, changing the subject. "I hope he doesn't cause you and the rest of the team too much trouble."

"Oh you have no idea." Lev gasped at the comment. Yaku grinned devilishly at him, before crossing his arms in an authoritative manner. "Lev is competent in his spiking and blocking, but he's terrible at receiving. I always have to hold him back after club activities for extra practice." Alisa's face lit up with recognition.

"Oh, so you're the third year Lyovochka is always gushing about!" Lev squeaked.

"Alisa!"

"Whenever I call he's always talking about his 'cute little upperclassmen' who helps him practice."

"Alisa stop talking!" She giggled.

"I'm glad I finally get to meet the person Lyovochka admires so much." Lev shoved his face in his hands, attempting to cover his blushing face. Yaku burst out laughing.

"Why would you say that." Lev whined into his palms. His sister rubbed his back unapologetically. Yaku's stomach hurt from laughter, and he wiped at the corner of his eyes.

"That's sweet."

Yaku kicked him gently under the table to get his attention. Lev peaked out from behind his fingers, and Yaku gave him a grin that said I'm not going to let you forget this. The message was received and Lev groaned and covered his face once more.

---

The rest of the dinner went along pleasantly, with Yaku and Alisa exchanging embarrassing stories of Lev. Despite his mortification, he seemed to be enjoying himself as well. Yaku ate until he couldn't stomach another bite, and the two siblings insisted on him taking home the leftovers. Their generosity was really something else. After a few minutes of sitting after the meal, Alisa stood.

"I'll start cleaning up."

"I'll help you." Yaku offered, but she motioned for him to stay seated.

"Nonsense, you boys cooked, I'll tidy everything up." She carried the plates into the kitchen, humming to herself. Yaku went to check the time, his eyes widening.

"Oh! It's almost nine." He couldn't believe he had been over so long, he had completely lost track. He stood from his seat. "I should probably get going. Thank you for having me over." He bowed to the two of them. Alisa waved him off from the kitchen.

"You're welcome to visit anytime Yaku-san, it was a pleasure having you." She smiled. Lev stood as well.

"I'll walk you out!" Bidding his sister goodbye once more, Yaku and Lev made their way to the door, the container of leftover stew warm in his hands. Lev walked him out to the street.

"I'm sorry again, about the impromptu dinner, I know it was a little awkward." Lev said. "My sister is really social and can be a bit much sometimes." Yaku shook his head

"Don't worry about it. It... actually turned out to be really fun, and the stew was really delicious. I'm glad I came, so thank you." Lev's face lit up.

"And um..." He fiddled with the hem of his shirt, nervous all of a sudden. "About what my sister said, you're free to come over for dinner again sometime." He added quickly "If you want, that is! You don't have to."

"Yeah." Yaku said. "Thank you, I'd like that." His reply calmed Lev down, and he grinned happily. "And... maybe I could have the two of you over for dinner sometime, to repay the gesture."

"I'd like that a lot!" He said happily. They fell silent as they looked at each other, almost as if they were expecting something to happen. The yellow hue of the streetlight reflected in Lev's green eyes, making them almost cat like as he gazed down at him. There was an unusual tenderness in his expression.

"Anyway..." Lev said hesitantly, before he leaned down and wrapped Yaku in a hug. Slowly, he returned it, wrapping his arms around his waist and resting his forehead against Lev's shoulder. The soft smell of herbs and spices clung to Lev's body, as well as the distant scent of cologne. Yaku found himself relaxing into the embrace against his own accord. They stood like that for a few long moments, before breaking apart.

"I'll see you at practice on Monday," Lev said, a sweet smile on his face. It made Yaku's stomach flip.

"Yeah, see you."

Yaku turned and began walking home, aware of Lev watching him go. He was glad it was too dark for Lev to see his face, he thought, as he pressed his palm into his warm cheek.

#Haikyuu #Haikyuu!! #haikyuu fanfiction #fanfiction #haikyuu fanfic #yakulev #yaku/lev #writing #my writing #writeblr #write #writers on tumblr #oneshot

[sea-salted-wolverine]

Okay so last week was a shitkicker and was literally so bad I spent the better part of the week trying to delude myself into thinking it was a good day. Like, we're talking, "the sun is shining and I'm here to see it so today is a good day" and "I'm having a bad day- fuck me I am not haveing a bad day- I'm having a good day- I'm not having a bad day". Denial is a powerful tool for mental health, apply judiciously. I get that everyone on earth is kinda having a shitty year but it feels like things just kinda escalated in my little corner

The 7th had a huge snow storm that brought traffic to a stand still. No one could leave the house and university class was online anyway. Batshit customer demanded to pick up her gear anyway. I drove in because I was the only person with keys to the shop that could get to the building. It took me a solid 2 hours going 15mph on the highway. The snow in the parking lot was up past the fenders of my truck. Crazy lady gets 10 out of 18 of her survival suits back but the other 8 still have holes in them because our only repair tech is also the only one who answers the phone or runs the computer or handles customers or cleans or disinfects anything or stores gear. I'll give you one guess who that person is.

Did you guess me? Good for you. Fun fact this was not the case in October.

Crazy lady swans off through the snowed in parking lot and because she cant find the exit, blasts straight through the ditch and onto the road.

I say fuck it and leave. I've been at work for 2 hours. I have made 24 dollars for my trouble. It takes me another hour to get home.

The 8th is Saturday and I'm supposed to be at work. No one can drive. There was another 10 8nches of snow last night. I say fuck work and go to dig out the plow truck. The canopy over the plow truck collapses as I walk out to clear the snow of it.

I do not scream.

My partner and I get the truck running and go plow people out of their driveways and then go do the shop.

We come back home and the heater doesn't work. We just spent most of last week frantically trying to limp the thing along because no heat at -20°F is in a word fucking unpleasant. At least now its 40 degrees warmer because if the snowstorm. We take it apart again. The house smells like diesel. The house smells like exhaust. The house is not cold because the wood stove can keep up at 20 above zero but it won't keep us through the winter.

There is no saving the oil heater. We need a new one.

Its 730 and neither of us have eaten. I start rice in the pressure cooker so I can throw a tasty bite on top and call it dinner and that dies too. Explosively.

Dinner is half cooked rice and microwaved curry.

Sunday is spent finding a way to stretch our increasingly thin budget to buy a new heater. Between us we actually have 2275$ and we will still cover the mortgage. Somehow. All our Christmas gifts will be hand made this year. The next thing that breaks will stay broken.

Monday, power outages due to snow storm. No wifi, no zoom meetings. Another 8 inches of snow. This is now more snow than my city gets for the full year.

My boss calls sobbing. The dog died. Joey, an 11 year old, 130lb mastiff with a tumor the size of a football on his liver has been her constant companion for at least 8 years. The pandemic has confused the bejesus out of him because while he loves the lock down and going out to play every hour or so he doesnt really like the concept of strangers in masks. Hes a guard dog and doesnt understand that men in masks coming into the shop are not here to kill mom they're wearing masks so they don't kill mom.

Mondays the shop is closed anyway and I spend it installing the new heater. It doesn't quite fit in the space the old heater came out of but its warm.

Tuesday, I go to work, everyone cancels class, I once again gently explain to a regular that eugenics is bad. I would like to curse him out. I cant. He drops a grand on scuba gear and leaves, talking about how great his trip to Mexico will be.

I do not scream.

A friend calls to ask how I'm doing. Not great. Yea, her niether. She asks if I want to go out to the backcountry with her over the weekend. I explain that my leg physically does not move and I'm downing copious amounts of advil to remain upright. The doctor sent me in for an MRI but has not yet called back. Plus I'm supposed to go to Valdez for the weekend and actually go diving. That I can do with limited use of my leg.

She says yikes, take it easy, take care of yourself, I love you.

I say, yikes, I'm tired of taking it easy, I wanna play, I love you too.

Hit me up if your plans open up and we can do something gentle on your leg. She says.

God yes. The cold woods away from people sounds like paradise. I dont even care that it will cause me rending physical pain to get there. I need a break.

Its Wednesday. I go to school. I get pulled over. Miraculously I dont get a ticket. I'm white female and conventionaly attractive, maybe not so miraculous. I rolled through a stop sign but I'm pretty sure I couldn't afford a ticket.

I get a text in class. One of the instructors who works with the dive shop has tested positive for covid. I haven't seen the man in 2 months. I needed a spare instructor but he was nowhere to be found. But hey, evidently that's a good thing.

I go to work. I vacillate between doing the job a 4 people and having nothing to do.

I go to the grocery store because I misjudged my last monthly grocery run and even though I'm increasing my exposure I'm out of cheese and tea damnit.

The store is packed. Pandemic who?

My partner and I haven't had a date nite in a while and this week has been shitty. I want a nice dinner. I pick up a couple boxes of the carton sushi which isnt terrible and is about as nice as I can justify on the new budget. I grab a gallon of milk and a few other things. I forgot my wallet in the truck and the cashier is chill and sets my stuff aside while I grab it.

I pay and take my stuff home and realize I left one of my bags at the store. No cheese or tea for me.

Thursday. 10am my phone goes off with an emergency alert. The govoner has grown a spine in light of recent elections and is instituting a voluntary lock down. My state has 500 new cases a day. That might not sound like a lot but theres only 300,000 people in Alaska and we've got poor medical infrastructure.

Unfortunately Alaska is full of Alaskans and nobody can tell us what to do. Nothing changes. 7pm rolls around and I'm teaching scuba classes in the pool.

I load a few hundred pounds of scuba gear into the back of my truck. In a wet wetsuit. In the snow. In a fabric facemask. 6 feet apart. In the pool.

I dont get paid for pool time.

Over the summer we had 6 dive masters including me, all big burly dudes, much better suited to picking things up. Its November and I'm the only one.

The kids I'm teaching are going to Hawaii. They're 10 and 13 and so wildly excited about breathing underwater its beautiful to watch. And they're traveling to an island. In a pandemic.

Friday.

Unload scuba gear so it doesnt get stolen out of the back of my truck while I'm at class. Were doing a make up lab today. Hey of the five student in my class only one of us has covid so theres that.

My boss calls an let's me know that shes left for Valdez without me. If I'd like to make an 8 hour drive by myself in a snowstorm I'm welcome to follow.

I'm in class till an hour before shop closing. I'm not driving across town so I can run on the open sign for half an hour.

The shop stays closed on Friday.

Saturday.

I explained to everyone we had business with that the shop would be closed over the weekend and Friday. I planned on being in Valdez. Hell I canceled plans to be in Valdez.

I open the shop and immediately field calls about why we werent open. I start to explain about the Valdez trip and logistical difficulties and then I realize that shes not mad about that. The woman was here before I opened early this morning. We have never been open that early. The hours are on the door.

A regular comes in. Hes also confused as to why I'm here.

Sunday finds me curled up in bed, reluctant to leave. Getting out of bed has not played out well for me recently.

A friend comes over to chat with my partner about specialist rifle parts. This isnt that wierd, he works at a gun shop and they've been discussing upgrading my partners current rifle set up.

He is wearing a full Scottish kilt. Red tartan. Looks very lovely.

I make zucchini bread and my proportions are a little off because I have too much zucchini so it's a little over moist but it's good. I'm recovering from an asskicker of a week and next week will be better.

Monday morning:

Baby brother has covid

Dads getting the results of his rapid test tonight.

Mom isnt getting tested because she says she doesnt have symptoms but that's not the fucking point mom.

So, I'm not going home for thanksgiving. I'm not diving in Valdez. I'm not skiing backcountry.

I'm not sick. I'm not flat broke yet. I dont have a ticket. I have a job. I have people who care about me. Im managing my physical and mental health as best I can. Im just fucking exhausted.

#vent post #writing #holy fuuuuuck #2020

[kahayaya]

Aug 20th Keto Diet

I started my keto Diet on Aug 16th officially.

Weight at the time I would say 220 ibs.

Reason for doing Keto:

I wanted to challenge myself, to see if I can manage a diet and keep track of what i eat. I think being sober for a semester made me think I can also do this diet. 

side note, I made a promise to myself when Alex leaves, I would change something about myself that I think would be good for me. Physically this is one of them. I also want to try to talk to people more and be more comfortable around others. 

I want to lose weight. I think during my time in quarantine, I had a bad habits for my health. I would doordash everyday with a lot of food. Also since I stopped running, I didn't move around much. So I would sit in my bedroom just looking at videos and doing nothing. I think I gained 20 ibs since April. 

Particularly keto because I had one of my friends do it. He had success. And something I would have never expected from him to do during college. He goes to ASU, which is a party school. And you can’t drink beer. He managed to do keto while under all those circumstances. So I am inspired by him to challenge that. 

Also Daniel and Adi were gonna do it this semester. IDK if they are following through, but if they are good. If they are not, well I kind of expected that :p (BoJack syndrome)

Also since all classes are online, I will be home all the time. So I can just cook up a meal at home, then going to campus and meal prep. So the times when I cook will be at my disposal. 

So I think imma write my thoughts up to now from day to day, but I’ll try to recall my thoughts from Day 1 till now.

Day 1 Aug 16th:

Definitely missed eating foods and I understood the struggle of going on this diet. I remember I went with Daniel to wholefoods to grab groceries. He told me about this drink called zevia, Which is no calorie soda with a sweetener that doesn’t raise blood sugar. Did research and it turns out that the drink is very keto friendly. I think I ate tuna and eggs for that day.

Day 2 Aug 17th: 

So I was not feeling much this day, cuz the 16th was light. That day was the first time to actually attempt a full keto diet. I also ran that day. but I felt really tired and exhausted. I think it was my new shoes cuz last time I ran in them they were painful and made me exhausted. So I stopped by target to grab some groceries for keto and household stuff. That day I made tuna again and eggs. I also attempted to intermittent Fast that day. I decided to stick with a window between 1- 7pm. I ate some food toward like tuna and eggs again. Then towards the end of my window, I got hungry. I then realized I had no snacks, so i stopped by Safeway to grab pork rinds and macademia nuts. I ate those snacks right when I got home. So I wasn’t too devastated that I ate outside the window cuz I knew my body needed some kind of food. 

Day 3 Aug 18th:

First day of classes. I remember I had my 8 AM class and my body was really hungry. So i stuck it out and took a nap right after class. I woke up around 11:45 to cook for my next class. I made an omelette with avacado and bacon. I think I ate during class, cuz we didn’t need to have our camera on. Fast foward, I think I baked lemon chicken after my classea were done. It was an alright chicken. Not too bad but also not too good. I like the zesty taste. 

Day 4 Aug 19th: 

I think I weighed myself and I dropped to 211 ish pounds. I was quite surprise the amount lost, but this was due to all the water weight lose I think. I think during this time I started to get brain fog. My thoughts were a mist of sorts. Similar to the first time I took E and the after effects. This is also part of the keto and IF part, so this is normal to have this. If it last long, I will reconsider about the diet and IF. I also had a dream the night before that I ate some fries and I spit it out. That dream was wild cuz I was in a car ride and somehow we drove off a cliff and into a water. I somehow teleported to a hotel room with the same people in the car and thats when the fry incident happened. 

Day 5 Aug 20th:

So I had another weird dream where I was a pier similar to Santa Clara. It had like all the carnival stuff and it was night time. I then somehow got a mocha coffee. I drank it. Half way through the mocha, I realized the mocha had sugar and milk. I was like shit, I just broke my keto. I was sad and then I think I woke up. But other than that I made the same breakfast n stuff. I also noticed my appetite has been really small. I think I’m actually eating like 1000 calories a day. I don’t know if this is good, but Im defs eating a lot less calories. I weighed myself today and I was 208. So as of right now there is a steady weight lost. I know there will be some kind of plateau but Im trying to combine excercise and cardio. Can’t do cardio cuz its smokey outside from the wildfires. So I’ve been doing pushups and ab-rollout. I also ordered a dumbell with adjustable weights going up to 25 ibs. So this will be very useful for when I workout at home. As of right now, I got hungry and finished up my breakfast. So I will have to see how my meal will be by 7pm.

With that being said this is how my keto and IF is going. I think it’s going well. I think I will change this kind of diary to be a weekly, probs every Friday to track how my progress is going and any highlights of the week. Follow my journey to keto! Again this is a promise I made to myself to keep me moving in life! 

[mskathywriteswords]

Cupcakes at Midnight - Chapter 6

A/N: As warned, angst, hurt, comfort ahead.

True to her promise, the next day, Ava leaves for work without disturbing me. I wake up surprised, since it often feels like every little noise can startle me awake at night -- she must be very stealthy. It’s just me and Cat. Always Cat. 

I’m not sure when I’ll hear from Ava next, so I set about doing my usual weekend stuff and try to put things to the side. I mean, it’s possible she only wants a weekend thing, so who knows where this will all end up.

Picking up my phone, I text Ivy. 

Movies?

She practically texts me back immediately. Are you psychic? I was itching for something to do outside of this house.

I laugh. 

Must be such torture living in Matt’s McMansion bachelor pad. See you in 20?

I toss my laundry in the dryer and jump in the car to meet Ivy. It doesn’t really matter to either of us what’s playing at the theater; we’ll get popcorn, a gut bomb of sugary goodness to share, and a giant soda and be happy watching almost anything. After, there’s a bar upstairs that I’m sure we’ll make good use of.

We go through our usual routine of me getting the tickets and Ivy getting the snacks and drinks. For two blissful hours, I get to escape from everything on the planet. It’s exactly what I need, and I immerse myself in it entirely, not letting any of the real world bullshit in. 

“Drinks?” I ask as the lights come back up in the theater.

Ivy checks her phone and makes a face. “I might have to go. You okay?”

I nod. “Yeah, totally.”

I’m not quite sure what’s gotten under my skin, but I know that I’ll be fine. Something just feels … restless. Unsettled. It’s itching at my belly, but I can’t place it.

“See you tomorrow,” she says, hugging me tight. 

“Tell Matt I said hello, and he still owes me that whiskey.”

As much of a sporty man’s man bro as Matt can be, he’s still one of my favorite people. When he and Ivy met, there was a weird dance of jealousy from both sides, but we found our friendship rhythm and things have been great since. 

Once I’m home, I text my therapist to book my next appointment; it’s been too long. Cat and I curl up on the couch for some quality Netflix time.

What day is it?

I consider for half a second that she might be serious.

That rough of a day? I hit send and imagine her working all day, flour in her hair and selling lots of cupcakes. 

Yeah

Poor thing. Anything I can do to make it better?

Nah

I’m surprised and honestly a little disappointed when that’s all I get back.

Well, let me know if you change your mind

It seems like the right thing to say, although it’s not what I most want to say. What I want to say is: Come over, I’ll rub down your sore and aching muscles. I’ll run a hot bath and pour a scotch. I’ll make you come, then tuck you in, all before 7PM.

Ava doesn’t text me again, and that pit in my stomach is growing. I roll over what I’ve done and said in the last day and a half to have fucked this up again. Maybe I was too much, too fast? I know I can be a lot for someone, my enthusiasm tends to get the best of me. But it never felt that way when we were around each other.

Ivy can sense my disappointment as she meets me in the parking garage the next morning.

“What’s wrong?”

I shrug. I can’t start with the whole story or I’m going to end up crying in the lobby of our building, and Lord knows the security guard doesn’t need that. 

Again.

“Well, when you’re ready to talk, I’m here. Message me if it’s easier, ok?”

“Thanks for the coffee. You’re a good friend, Ivy.”

I sniffle, the tears stinging my eyes. I’m lucky to have Ivy, Matt, Cat, and the rest of my friends, who I don’t make enough of an effort to see.

By lunch, I’m ready to talk a little. 

“So, she’s just kind of … changed. Like, she barely texted yesterday.”

“But she did text? And respond? Who texted who first?”

“She texted me first, and she responded a few times, then disappeared.”

“Nothing today?” Ivy asks, chewing at her expertly-manicured fingernail.

I shake my head. “No. Should I text her?”

Ivy considers this for a minute, staring a little too hard at the ceiling tiles. “Maybe? Do you want to?”

“Yeah, of course I do.”

“Then I say do it. Text her. Maybe she’s waiting for you to text.”

I shrug; that seems like fair advice. I tap out a text asking Ava how her day is going, then tap send. 

It takes until well into the night for her to reply. 

Insane

After considering a few replies, I finally tap out something supportive and ask again if she needs anything. The rest of the night passes with no reply, and I’m starting to actually get a little upset. I’m a good person, one might even think I’m a halfway reasonable girlfriend. Even though I’m not her girlfriend.

I spend the better part of the following day venting to poor Ivy, who mostly nods and agrees with me.

Toward the end of the day, I decide to text Ava again.

Is there something we need to talk about? I feel like you’ve barely said two words to me. 

My phone flashes with an incoming call, and I panic. It’s Ava, so I know I should answer, but the pit in my stomach is now made of lead, and I don’t want this version of reality.

“Hello,” I say, answering.

“Hey.” 

She sounds as exhausted as her texts made her out to be, and I instantly feel bad for adding more to her plate. 

“I don’t want to have this conversation through text,” she says.

I nod, then realize I have to speak. “Yeah, me either.”

“I really like you, Jane,” she says it like a curse. Like she’s surprised. Like she never thought anything would happen. Like it’s the worst thing that could have happened. “I really like you, and the thing is, I can’t like like anyone right now.”

“Okay.”

I don’t want to ask questions, I don’t want to pry. I want to sink into the floor and pretend none of this happened. I want to erase the memories of her in my bed. I want to forget the amazing coffee she makes, and the cupcakes that were mine alone.

“I still want you in my life. I know that’s selfish, but I just…” She exhales and the sound is harsh against my ear.

“That would be nice,” I say, as the first few tears fall. “We can be friends.”

Inside, I’m groaning at myself and my own desperation. 

“We can? I’m glad for that. I wasn’t expecting to meet someone so soon after.”

She trails off, leaving the thought end without clarity and I’m not exactly sure what she means.

“Sure. Of course.”

I know I need to end the call soon, my nose is going to get stuffy and then it will be obvious that I’m a fucking idiot who can’t control her expectations or tears.

“Is it okay if I still text you?” I ask, trying to wrap the conversation up. 

“Yeah, man. Absolutely.”

“Okay, well, have a good night then.”

“Goodnight,” she says, in that sleepy voice that I’m so angry I know is the one she has right before she falls asleep.

Fuck everything.

I call out to work the next day, needing a mental health day. Really, I’m being overly dramatic for something that was two weeks old, but whatever. I order greasy Chinese food and a grocery delivery that wouldn’t quality as any sort of grown up groceries, much less anything that could be cobbled into a meal, and settle onto the couch for a few hours. My mood rotates from angry to upset to depressed to hopeless and back to angry. There are a few pints of ice cream.

Yes, pints with an s.

Around 3PM, I start to feel better, but still can’t make myself stop watching terrible romance movies that only remind me that a) I’m not straight, and b) I’m alone.

Well, alone with Cat.

Why is it that those stupid channels can’t get with the times and give me one gay or lesbian movie. Would it really kill them? Even Arthur has a gay character, and it’s a damn kid’s show.

Suddenly, I realize what I really need; I call my mom. Her voice makes me smile, and the way she always has my back is amazing. She never once asks what I did to fuck things up, even though I’ve gone over it in my head a million times and have cataloged all the possible ways. I could give her an alphabetical list at this point.

“Well, Janey, you know it’s all going to be okay, right?”

“I know, Mom. I know.”

“I wish we were closer, hon. Do you want me to come down for a visit? I’m sure Dad will be fine. Might even do him some good to have to cook his own meals for a few days.”

“No, no. I’m fine, really.”

“Well, if you change your mind, call me. I can be there in an afternoon, ya know. Dad can watch Peanut Butter and Jelly.”

After she says their names, I realize how much I miss the family dogs. 

“Maybe I’ll come up for a visit soon?”

“We would love that, kiddo. Just let me know. I’ll fix up the guest room.” There’s a quiet pause, but it’s not awkward. “I love you so much, honey.”

“I love you too, Mom.”

I definitely stay in the same place I had been and fall asleep on the couch. I wake up to Cat loudly licking the inside of an empty cardboard pint container. I can’t even be mad at him; it was the good stuff.

All of me wants to call out from work again, but I can’t. I rarely call out sick, and this one event isn’t allowed to crush me. I’m stronger than that. 

After I shower, I text Ivy and ask her to bring me a special coffee today. I’m in the mood for something fancy, with multiple names, not a boring drip coffee. She replies with a skull and crossbones, but I know she’ll order it because she loves me and sometimes friends have to order silly, ridiculously named drinks for each other. 

“You look better,” she says, handing me the giant vessel of whipped cream.

“Thanks. I feel better. If she can’t see how amazing all this, is,” I say, turning around. “Then I don’t know why I would want to waste my time with her anyway.” 

Ivy smiles. “That’s my girl.” 

We get through the day together, messaging back and forth and I try to ignore my phone when it chirps, I really do. But I can’t. It’s Ava.

How’s your day?

Now, hear me out. I know I should wait and respond sometime later, but there’s no more need to, right? We’re simply two friends, chatting. I wouldn’t make Ivy wait and text her hours later, so why should I do it here?

I bite my lip to keep the tears in at the reminder.

My day is great. Yours?

Fake it til you make it, right?

Busy still. I wish I could find someone reliable here. It feels overwhelming at times.

I want to empathize, to tell her that I can imagine how it feels -- the pressures of having employees and being the sole person responsible for keeping the doors open. I had considered opening my own business a while back, a cute little coffee shop cafe, but I knew I couldn’t do it on my own. Instead of responding the way I want, I tap out a simple I bet and hit send.

As I’m laying in bed that night, but not quite asleep yet, my phone buzzes on my nightstand. 

I just want one thing to give and go my way.

I can relate, Ava. 

Do you want to talk about all the things going wrong?

I’m pretty sure she’s going to say no again, but I risk asking just in case. I want to be a good friend, even if I can’t quite detach from it all yet. I’ll get there.

I need to close my eyes, but thank you, Jane. You’re the best.

Yes, Ava, I am. Now if only you could really see that, too.

#wlw #original fiction #lesbian #women loving women #free books #original characters #lesbian fiction #i hate thinking of tags

[bbbb-barnes]

Dance With The Devil [ 2 ] - A Mobster!Bucky X Reader.

Summery- You’re a hard working NYU student that left a small town childhood of gangs, drugs and violence behind. When you find out your mother is struggling you go back home to help, only to realise the gang your father used to run has become ruthless, however a handsome and dangerous man from your families rival gang catches your eyes and you can’t seem to stay away.  (I am bad at summeries, if anybody can write a better one SLIDE IN MY DM’S ill love u) 

SLIDE IN MY DM’S ANYWAYS requests are open or just come for a chat and let me know what u think x

Say hello to my greasy beefy boi 

Warnings- Swearing, mentions of violence. 

You had been home for approximately 3 hours and you were already bored. Your mother had stopped doting on you and allowed you to settle in your room and after you had attempted to chat to your seriously ill grandmother for half an hour you needed some time to yourself. Your preppy room was exactly the same as you had left it when you were 18, the old pictures of you and your friends you had gotten printed off at the convenience store around the corner for a quarter each were tacked on to the pale pink wall and curling at the edges, there was a ‘Toy Story’ poster on your wall which made you chuckle so you kept it up, the thing that made you cringe however was the bright pink and yellow polka dot sheets and matching bedspread, they needed to go. You quickly packed your clothes away, taking note how colourless your current wardrobe is compared to the bright clashing patterns of your younger years. It was so strange being back, you felt like you had just slipped back into your old life, your mom was downstairs making dinner and you could have easily been 17 again and studying for an algebra test on your garish bedspread, it was all very nostalgic. You padded down the stairs and eagerly followed the delicious scent of food. You found your mother hunched over a large pot on the stove humming to herself, various spices littering the marbled side.

“Smells great, Ma” you complimented as you slid onto the kitchen stool opposite, she glanced up from the pot and gave you a grateful grin. Your mother was a beautiful woman, she kept her beauty in to her older adult years, albeit with a few grey hairs and extra wrinkles around her deep hazel eyes.

“Thank you dear, do you mind watching the pot I have a quick errand to run” she sighed as she untied her apron and placed the steel lid back on to the simmering pot, she sounded tired and it made you frown, she had been working extra time as a cleaner recently to help pay for your Grandmothers medical bills, she then had to come home and care for her and it was clearly taking its toll.

“I’ll do it, you look exhausted” you quickly offered, thinking the fresh air would do you some good anyways, however for some reason your mother didn’t look convinced. She smoothed down her blouse.

“I’ll just mess up dinner and I have to go to the store anyway” you quickly reasoned, but she still softly shook her head, the concerned expression not leaving her face, first Steve and now your mom, the secrecy was getting annoying, your scowl obviously said more than words ever could as she flopped down on to the stool opposite you.

“Y/N, dear I need to collect my wages from my boss James, but James is a high-ranking member of The Commando’s, you can’t go over there” she was uneasy, and you could tell, and you felt like your eyes were going to roll back into your head.

“If I hear about this god damn ‘gang’ again today I’m going to scream. I’ll go” you told her firmly, standing up and dramatically pushing the bar-stool away from you but she caught your arm with her hand.

“I wish you would start taking this a little more seriously, I thought Steve would talk some sense into you today” she warned you, not letting go of your arm.

“I don’t understand this at all, first of WHY are you working for this man, secondly how are you even in contact with Steve if they’re all so dangerous.” You admitted defeat and flopped back on to the bar-stool, eager to get some answers.

Your mother ran a hand through her wispy hair and looked wistfully into the distance as she prepared to answer.

“I know James’s mother, we were friends long before any of our families got involved in this gang business and we remain friends, we promised not to let that get in the way of our friendship, although it’s getting harder to do that recently. As a favour to his mother James gave me a job cleaning his house for good money, I won’t say he’s overly pleasant to me but he’s the reason I can pay Nonna’s medical bills, so I don’t complain. Steve is a lovely boy, he knows what happened at the hands of your father, he’s the reason that god awful gang leave me alone, but they all secretly think that I’m still working for your Uncle Jack, and with you back in town they think that’s more reason to be suspicious in their opinion, they think he’s training you up to be a part of the Moretti’s or something stupid. You need to stay away, you’ll just be used as a pawn for their horrible games, they’re always looking for a reason to declare all out war on each other.” She told you very matter-of-factly, you took a few moments to process her words and honestly all they did was make you angry. You weren’t property and you certainly weren’t going to be used as some kind of pawn in pathetic fights, the fact this James guy seemed to treat your mother like shit didn’t make you feel much better either, but you had made a promise to stay out of the way and as much as you wanted to storm into that guys house and tell him to grow the fuck up, for everybody’s sake you didn’t.

“Okay, I’ll be good” you finally admitted defeat to the obvious surprise of your mother and you watched begrudgingly as she pulled on her coat and hurried out of the door, you considered following her but decided if you were seen it would do more harm that good. She returned 10 minutes later, her facial expression giving no indication as to how it went, and you simply didn’t ask, the less you knew the better it had seemed.

After scarfing down two helpings of spaghetti and watching your mother painstakingly try and get her mother to eat you had offered to do the dishes in a lacklustre attempt to not have to watch. You stood over the faucet lost in your own thoughts, it was nearing 7PM and you were seriously in need of some sugary snacks, the worst rom-com Netflix had to offer and comfy (not neon) bedsheets. You assessed your oversized sweatshirt and skinny jeans and decided it was acceptable to leave the house in them. The problem of transportation being the only thing stopping you from a family sized bag of skittles, in New York driving was always the inferior option, however in New York you could get almost anything delivered straight to your door, Ubers Eats didn’t seem to be active here. You softly snaked around the living room door, your mom was sat on the sofa next to your grandmother, they both seemed to be engrossed in a cooking show, the light of the TV illuminating the cosy room.

“Ma, do you think I could possibly borrow the car, I need to run to the store?”  You asked in a sugary sweet voice, automatically you were transported to when you were 17 and had to ask to borrow the car to go to the Dairy Queen a town over with your friends. Your mother seemed to have the same thought as she grinned up at you with a fond shake of her head.

“Of course, dear, be careful” she handed her keys over to you and settled back into the sofa as you made your way to the driveway and into the black Nissan Versa.

The drive to the only Wal Mart in town was therapeutic, you had always enjoyed going for drives when things got a bit too much. You recalled driving to the state line listening to Fleetwood Mac once when you had first got your licence after somebody threw a brick through your living room window and your parents got into a fight about it. You sped through the now dark streets, the route coming back to you like muscle memory.

Lazily grabbing a shopping cart you slouched around the linoleum floors, the fluorescent lights making you squint slightly, you didn’t know what you wanted so you decided to just grab a little bit of everything, you weren’t particularly in a rush to get back home so you wheeled your cart to the candy isle where you came to a complete stop to consider your options, you reached for a bag of Twizlers when you heard the painstakingly familiar voice of a certain blonde and muscled ex neighbour, was this town really that small?

“Y/N” his voice was slightly raised as he hurried toward you with a large bag of chips in his hand.

“Hey Steve” you greeted casually, turning your attention back to the shelves and the various flavours of Oreo’s.

“What are you doing here?” he sounded slightly flustered and you turned to look at him with a scowl.

“Its Wal-Mart Steve, am I not permitted to be here? Is it past my curfew?” you retorted sarcastically, throwing the cookies into your cart with a little more force than needed as he looked over his shoulder.  

“Sorry” he replied a little sheepishly and you waved him off, running a hand through your hair and you wheeled your cart further down the aisle, out of your peripheral you saw him follow you.

“Watcha’ buying?” you asked, mainly out of politeness as he seemed dead set on following you, you grabbed two bags of M&M’s, one crunchy and one chocolate as you weighed on what felt like the most important decision of the day, you furrowed your brows slightly.

“Oh, I’m here with Bucky, we’re grabbing some groceries for his Ma” he replied casually, he had seemed to calm down a little by this point, he reached over and grabbed the chocolate M&M’s from you and tossed them in your cart, you wrinkled your nose at his choice.

“Bucky?” you questioned sorting slightly at the strange name, Steve sniffed at your tone.

“My pal” He shot back simply, you turned to look at him, leaning softly against your shopping cart.

“What kind of a name is Bucky?” You chuckled a little as Steve looked mortified at your comment.

“Mine.” A gruff voice came from behind you and you jumped slightly and whipped around. Stood a few feet away from you, with a gallon of milk in his large hand was possibly the beefiest guy you had ever seen. He had piecing blue eyes which were currently trained on you, he had long, dark, slightly greasy hair and stubble that coated a strong jawline, this man screamed danger and oozed confidence, everything in your bones wanted you to be afraid of him but you couldn’t deny how drop dead gorgeous he was, the obviously tailored suit aiding his allure. He took a few steps towards you and you fought the overwhelming urge to take a few steps back, you felt Steve shift behind you.

“Unique name” you muttered, not sounding as confident as you would have hoped, he cocked a brow at you but didn’t reply to you, instead he looked over your head to give Steve a look you didn’t understand.

“Y/N, this is Bucky” Steve said flatly from behind you, Bucky gave you a nod and a once over that he didn’t even try and make subtle.

“Kinda figured that one out the hard way” you murmured but flashed him a polite smile nonetheless, a slightly awkward silence settled in-between the three of you, you tried to look everywhere but Bucky, who was looking brazenly at you, the ghost of a cocky smirk on his face.

“So… How do you two know each other?” you asked, turning towards the shelves and grabbing a bottle of soda.

“Well, y’know… Family friends” Steve managed to choke out to you and you raised your eyebrows at his clusterfuck of an answer.

“We’re in a gang together” Bucky spoke matter-of-factly, his voice was gruff and low, and you liked it, you rolled your eyes.

“Oh GOD, that stupid gang” you scoffed as you placed the soda into your cart. Bucky leaned against the shelving, a look of intrigue on his features.

“You’re not scared of the gangs?” he questioned, a hint of amusement in his voice, you snickered at his question, giving him your full attention, no matter how hard it was not to cower away from his intense gaze.

“Scared of people that watched The Godfather once and run around thinking they’re in the Mafia? No not at all, I’m more scared of the rats in the subway” you wheeled your cart passed him and away from a slightly spluttering Steve, but they both followed, you came to a stop outside the ice cream freezer and Bucky placed himself at the foot of your cart, his amusement gone, only disbelief in its place.

“Maybe you should be scared” he said it quietly and almost teasingly, raising an eyebrow at you as you felt a small rush of Goosebumps take over your skin.  Before you could reply a heavy hand clapped down on your shoulder making you jump slightly and Bucky smirked at your quick slip of demeanour, damn Steve.

“Didn’t I tell you to stay out of trouble?” He questioned quietly which made you roll you eyes, you roughly grabbed a pint of Ben and Jerry’s before spinning to face him.

“I’m in Wal-Mart Steven, not Iraq” you chided sarcastically, you saw Bucky smirk at your words and it made your skin tingle slightly, Steve didn’t reply instead he gave you a firm, warning look, you both knew that isn’t what he meant. Steve was on edge, he knew catching Bucky’s eye was hardly flying under the radar and he knew when he best friend wanted something, or someone he got it.

“We’re going to go” Steve announced, looking over your head at Bucky shooting him a glare. “Bye, Y/N. See you around maybe?” you gave him a small nod and a tight smile.

“Goodbye, Y/N. I’m sure it won’t be the last time” Bucky teased with a smirk. You were too flustered to think of a witty response so just settled on raising your brows at his overwhelming confidence and with that they both stalked off.

And as quickly as Bucky and Steve came, they had left. Leaving you stood in the cold chill of the freezer section, clutching your melting tub of cookie dough ice cream wondering what the hell just happened.  You walked around the rest of the store a daze, you knew you should be scared of Bucky, everybody had warned you against them, Steve was on edge about the fact you went to Wal-Mart on your own for Christ sake, there was clearly a very real threat here, but you just couldn’t see it, maybe you were blinded by the fact you found him painfully attractive. You didn’t want to get into that mess, he was less treat you right and make you blueberry pancakes on a Sunday morning and more fuck you in an alley way behind a club and not call afterwards.

You made your way to the check out and started to load your array of sugar on to the conveyer when a nervous, acne ridden boy stopped you.

“Um, excuse me miss, this has b-been paid for” he stuttered out and you gave him a look of confusion and stopped unloading your cart.

“No, I haven’t paid for this stuff” you cocked an eyebrow at him as he shifted from one foot to another.

“Um Mr Barnes has taken care of it, it’s okay” He managed to stutter out, but you were still highly confused.

“Who?”

“Um, Bucky Barnes”

TAGLIST - @evolutionofkatep   @ghostslikemydoubts @crispychrisevans @gday-im-socially-awkward @usernamesarelies @seems-sosimple

#james bucky barnes #bucky #steve x bucky #bucky x reader #bucky imagine #bucky barnes fic #bucky fic #bucky barnes fanfic #bucky barnes x reader #bucky barnes imagine #bucky drabble #bucky barnes drabble #bucky fanfic #mcu #avengers x reader #avengers fic #captain america #winter solider x reader #steve rogers #avengers #BBBARNESMASTERLIST

[spoopycoda]

So this is just me screaming into an empty sky, but I need to just vent right now because holy fuck do I live with an awful roomie.

So to start, shes not doing well mentally or financially, so I've been helping where I can, usually meaning I buy her groceries almost every week and I buy occasional gifts to cheer her up. It's now turned into me basically being a second piggy bank for her, and I know I can say no, but the nerve of her seeming to expect me to say yes all the time is fucking infuriating.

Also I cant talk about healthy eating, weight loss, obesity, or CICO around her because it's basically hate speech apparently, even though I just wanted to share the progress I've been making that's been really hard for me to make. I cant even call smokers addicts cause apparently its rude and disrespectful! 🙄

I'm also expected to basically do most of the chores around here cause shes got back problems from past accidents, so even if I've been working 10+ hours days (plus commute) I have to clean the house myself, clean the outside, and take out the compost recycling and garbage as well.

Shes been on stress leave for like a month now and my god is my sympathy wearing thin. She sits at home 90% of the time either sleeping or playing games (on my tv that I let her use mind you) and seems to not understand just how exhausted I am from working all the time, like I'm sorry I dont have time for much after work I've been up since 4am and i got home at 5pm, forgive me.

And now the latest bullshit, we got our shower re-caulked yesterday at 11am, landlord said itd be fine to use in 12 hours, I waited until 7pm today to use it cause I'm dealing with monthly lady problems and like hell I'm gonna stew in my own stank until tomorrow night. And when I got out of the bathroom my roomie asked if I'd showered so I said yes, and she said "ok I dont want to talk to you anymore, go to bed". Like ??? I feel like I'm living with a bitchy mother again man.

Nothing around here is cheap for rent and honestly I like her cats too much to move, but my fucking gawd do I hate users like this. I feel trapped and hopeless here, I lost my dad to cancer last year so I'm limited on support, and it's taking ann my self restraint to not scream at her. I'm so close to a mental breakdown but it seems like my issues don't matter to her, all I feel from her is disappointment and disgust and like I'm somehow the problem here.

Honestly if it weren't for my dad I'd consider self harm, hes the only thing keeping me from going back to that dark place. (That and my dog, who's curled next to me right now)

I cant even sleep right now cause I'm so mad, she also just cooked the one thing that wakes me up at night so its gonna be a while anyways. She told me when I moved in that she was difficult to live with, I didnt think itd be this bad. I'm trying to rebuild myself after losing my father and it just feels like shes tearing down any progress I make, shit hurts man. I guess misery does love its company.

If anyone actually wasted their time to read this, thanks I suppose, I dont mind nor care if you didnt though, I'm used to being ignored and I've been thrown so many pity parties over the course of my life I'm sick of them. Goodnight <33

#personal #long post #vent #feel free to ignore

[coopdigitalnewsletter]

8 July 2020: Goats on Zoom. Pubs can track and trace.

Hello, this is the Co-op Digital newsletter - it looks at what's happening in the internet/digital world and how it's relevant to the Co-op, to retail businesses, and most importantly to people, communities and society. Thank you for reading - send ideas and feedback to @rod on Twitter. Please tell a friend about it!

[Image: Goat-2-meeting]

Goats on Zoom and waving goodbye

Why we can't stop waving at the end of video calls - we’re over-performing the social cues of conversation closure because we feel that just closing a browser tab is ambiguous or abrupt. This is just one of many ways that video calling is uncomfortable:

It’s harder to pick up on social cues. You’re looking at your own face. Others are dropping in and out of the call. You’re doing the “Can you hear me? No I think your mic is off” dance. You can’t see if your boss agrees with what you’re saying because the video makes her look like an impressionist painting. All of this makes video calls exhausting. You could say that video calls come with an unexpectedly large “cost of communication”. 

If you’d like your calls to be more fun here’s an enterprising Lancashire farm that’ll have a goat participate in your Zoom call. The income has helped them keep staff on and will go toward renewable energy. “The goats are savvy in Microsoft teams, Webex, Blue Jeans, Skype, Google Hangouts, Jitsi, Go To Meeting and pretty much all other video platforms from which you can send a call invite link”, though the newsletter is confident that the goats don’t enjoy Webex. 

#startupidea: if you’d pay £6 to have a goat join your video call for a laugh, what would you pay to have an owl join it so you didn’t need to be in the meeting at all? More, surely! (In Silicon Valley a brief goat-2-meeting costs $100!)

Also: Fujitsu announces permanent work-from-home plan - "unprecedented flexibility" to 80,000 workers in Japan. Work is going remote-friendly if not quite remote-first.

If you miss the office, you can put its soothing tones on in the background: I miss the office.

Pubs will track and trace

Pubs are reopening in England. Fancy a pint? You might need an app for that. UKGov suggested that pubs should record personal details of customers to help track and trace efforts if there were any outbreaks. But there are obvious concerns around privacy and public health: you’d guess that record keeping, data accuracy and access to data are all going to be difficult or uncertain in a pub.

On the other hand, pubs seem to be doing a pretty good job running an informal track and trace service!: “Lighthouse had contacted about 100 customers before NHS Test and Trace had been in touch with management”.

Primark down 75%: retail winners and losers 

The virus lockdown has had uneven effects on retail. Obviously online has done well. Also “essential” sectors like supermarkets, though there increased sales offline have been counter balanced by increased virus costs (staffing, social distancing measures etc). And of course many businesses have raced to add online shopping: 85,000 businesses launch online shops as B2C and B2B ecommerce surge in lockdown.

Those who’ve struggled are “non-essential” sectors and those that rely on customer proximity: pubs, cafes, offline-only retail etc. Primark sales are down 75% in most recent quarter - this is the lockdown effect because Primark doesn’t sell online.

Ghost kitchens

“Ghost kitchens” have been around for a few years - these are restaurants with no seating: a smaller building in a cheaper location prepares the same number of meals, all for delivery. In 2018 Deliveroo was setting up delivery-only kitchens for restaurants:

A “ghost restaurant” is one that makes food solely for delivery customers - you can’t go to one and get a table. That’s the US term - in the UK they’re called “dark kitchens”. Deliveroo Editions is dark-kitchens-as-a-service: Deliveroo provides them to existing food brands. For larger restaurant operators, dark kitchens can load balance the peak times. For small ones, the kitchens can test demand in a new location without the capital investment in property: “The property requirement is data driven. Deliveroo know exactly where their customers are, the amount they spend, the frequency at which they order and the types of cuisine that are most popular in an area. From the fledgling operator’s perspective, this can lower the risk of venturing into uncharted territories and drive sales up as much as 400%.”

What if this idea was expanded out into high-street-as-a-service? Could you have a high street without a retail shopfront? Or a shopfront with no stock? The internet and logistics have made it possible to separate the point of product discovery from the purchase from the inventory from the delivery/handover. And these points can be recombined in many different ways. IKEA’s warehouse, Argos’s front/back of store, Deliveroo, Amazon’s many forms - all possible variations.

And in the virustimes of 2020, the ghost kitchens are doing well. They now look like "Ghost Kitchen Colonies" (or “commissary” kitchens): one site that hosts the kitchens for many restaurants. 

“This means sharing ingredients, equipment, and cooking staff to supply multiple restaurant brands. For customers, this provides the opportunity to order different types of food from the same address, and saves companies on overheads and wasting resources.” 

Uber: grocery delivery

Before the virus Uber was primarily a taxi company: it used cars to move people around. Once lockdowns started, the people weren’t moving, but the cars still could. So its Uber Eats cars-that-move-meals business overtook the cars-that-move-people business. In June it missed out on buying rival meal delivery platform Grubhub (Just Eat made a last minute order which won that one), so this week Uber has just bought US meal delivery service Postmates, and will run it alongside its existing Uber Eats. 

But if you have an on-demand network of cars you can move other things with it too. Uber also says it will be starting grocery delivery in Canada, Latin America and some US cities soon. It bought Cornershop (a grocery delivery startup a bit like Instacart) last year. It’s also a step towards the logistics space. The next step might be combining the car with ghost kitchens: on demand food truck delivery kitchens.

Various things

Nicki Sprinz at ustwo: “As a white person with privilege and relative influence, I invite people to hold me to account, and I must stay uncomfortable. We have to do the hard work to ensure we start to dismantle the structural racism we have benefited from for years.”

Climatestrike software licence: “developers can use to prohibit the use of their code by applications or companies that threaten to accelerate climate change through fossil fuel extraction”.

“Diversity & Inclusion at Conferences and Events (DICE) provides certification and guidance to help conferences and events deliver a representative and diverse set of speakers, perspectives, and attendees.”

Goldman Sachs bank designs its own typeface. It has to work with lots of small numbers, so it might be good for spreadsheet fans (hello).

“Find yourself an alternative pint while also supporting local independent pubs and bars” - Neverspoons.

Co-op Digital news and events

The government’s consultation response on violence and abuse toward shop staff and The Co-op’s report on it in Sep 2019: “Our latest research shows that retail crime has reached epidemic proportions, with 115 retail workers physically attacked every day in the UK, with many more verbally abused and threatened. This needs to change. We need the UK Government to urgently protect shop workers and send a clear message that violence and verbal aggression will not be tolerated in shops.”

The Federation House team is running weekly drop-in chats for the community every Wednesday at 10am: Join us here. See our online events. You can also see how The Federation is planning for a safe return to the co-working floor.  

Free of charge events: 

Andy’s Man Club – Gentleman's Peer to Peer Mental Health Meet Up – Mondays 7pm

Volunteer with Code Your Future – Online Meet Up – 8 July - 6pm  

Beginners Guide to Retrofit – Webinar – 8 July – 6pm  

Northern Azure User Group – Online Meet Up – 8 July - 6pm 

Building Resilience within your teams - Webinar – 9 July – 12.30pm 

Accessing Open Data through API’s – Webinar – 14 July – 6.30pm 

Python for Beginners – Online Workshop – 16 July - 4pm 

Paid for events: 

Invisible Cities - Online Tours of Manchester or Edinburgh – Various Dates & Times 

Thank you for reading

Thank you, beloved readers and contributors. Please continue to send ideas, questions, corrections, improvements, etc to @rod on Twitter. If you have enjoyed reading, please tell a friend! If you want to find out more about Co-op Digital, follow us @CoopDigital on Twitter and read the Co-op Digital Blog. Previous newsletters.

[lowcarbnutrients]

9 Surprising Things You Learn Grocery Shopping on a Budget

It was a lengthy month on our budget plan eating experience, and I've found out some amazing points along the road. I hope you have also. I desired to share a listing of some of the most unusual points I've learned ... ideally you find them valuable for either yourself, or when trying to do thoughtful substitute those in need.

1 - Fruits as well as veggies are the largest expenditure of our day-to-day diet

While this wasn't exactly surprising to me, what was stunning was the percentage it consumed. Grain economicals, dairy is moderate, meat is rather expensive ... however also if you don't like be a vegetarian, you just need 2 servings. The Canada food guide says adult males and also ladies should get as many as 7-8 servings of fruits as well as veggies a day. Assuming you could preserve an average price of 40-50 cents per serving to obtain a healthy variety, that's still as long as $4 each day out of the $5.50.

Hubs and also I finished up going for 5 servings minimal, which somewhat much less than 50% of our everyday spending plan. We had to pick an excellent mix of more affordable options like veggie alcoholic drink, carrots, spinach, and bananas (30 cents each serving or less) to balance out more costly ones like whole apples as well as grapes.

2 - I had difficulty getting adequate calories some days

Granted, it was primarily in week one, when I needed to invest a lot in my kitchen as well as prior to I had much time to prolong our dishes with baked goods as well as treats, that hubs and I had occasional headaches and impaired thinking. To eat merely to the restrictions of the food guide and also a $5.50 everyday budget plan could evaluate the reduced limitations of caloric reputation, especially if you're depending on points like vegetable cocktail to aid you satisfy your nutritional needs.

We didn't have also numerous starving days, the good news is, but rather very early on, we were scared that if we ate a lot extra we would run out of budget.

3 - Consuming healthy and balanced under a budget takes an uncommon amount of planning

Budgetary restriction is no joke in the time-sucking division. 20 minutes each week to browse fliers (and give thanks to benefits for the flyer app Flipp which consolidated them for me and also provided me the capacity to 'clip' so I remained on target), concerning 2 hrs each week to go shopping considering that I had to travel to two stores as well as we consumed most of our regular spending plan every week, 30-60 minutes practically everyday preparing foods. It's a tiring investment for someone that has to work a full time task on top of that. Not having the cash making a heap of leftovers or fridge freezer space to store a bunch of premade dishes? CRIPPLING.

4 - Not having an upper body freezer or a slowcooker is an alarming handicap

A chest freezer I consider to be a mandatory item if you desire to live as frugally as feasible. It's non-negotiable. If being unable to go shopping less regularly and make and save premade meals wasn't poor sufficient, it likewise left me severely limited in the means to make use of great deals. Let me tell you: I dislike being at the whim of regular sales. I couldn't find meat that we desired to consume during week 4 at much less compared to 50 cents per serving, that's exactly how I came house with boneless skinless poultry busts-- they were essentially the best, most inexpensive meat item available.

Fortunately, I had the give up the spending plan by that week to overcome the lack of sales on the lowest-priced meats ... but not everyone could be that lucky. And as for the slowcooker goes, when one needs to prepare most days? LIFE. SAVER.

5 - The surprising and also real price of consuming out

Prior to the obstacle, hubs and I had a bad behavior. We frequently obtained takeout from Wendy's on the way home from our son's weekly swimming lessons (because that really wants to cook at 7pm?). We believed virtually nothing of this, in spite of the truth that it had to do with $17-18 every time we did this. What's $20, right? Well, it's regarding $900 a year- just for that one poor behavior. And also that doesn't consist of various other evenings where we didn't seem like food preparation. Nor does it cover points like somebody getting a $2 coffee every morning heading to function (a $500+/ year habit). Or grabbing expensive processed food from the edge shop a pair times a month ($ 250+/ year).

Suddenly, it appears like at the very least a pair of home loan repayments each year to pay the expense of what mostly amounts to impulse acquisitions. Is it worth it?

6 - For the very best bang for your buck, you CAN NOT store infrequently and also at only one store

Lack of storage room as well as decreasing the danger of wasting apart, I needed to make regular journeys to two areas for monetary factors: Costco as well as whichever grocery shop presently had the ideal sales on fresh goods (for the difficulty, usually Food Basics). The amount of money I could conserve throughout a year SIMPLY BY BUYING BREAD AT COSTCO rather of the food store pays for the Executive Membership. Lots of other points, however? More expensive.

You can't depend on any kind of one shop to always have the very best costs. Yeah, it's a discomfort to go shopping extra often as well as from more stores, yet stores depend on you to feel by doing this. That's why the idea of the lost leader exists: you'll offset the cash they lose on the items that obtain you in the door with the various other products you're likely to need at the exact same time.

7 - Frozen is in fact healthier for you

I knew that this held true in the dead of winter, when things needed to be shipped from the southern hemisphere, but I didn't recognize it was additionally real in the summertime when products were coming any farther away compared to your local ranch. So don't feel negative regarding acquiring icy, ever. This was especially privileged since lots of 'fresh' fruits and veggies were out of the ordinary cost range we needed to remain in.

Thanks to our YMC dietician for that tidbit!

8 - Those 'general rules' about conserving loan while shopping aren't trustworthy

Boneless chicken busts are constantly much more expensive compared to entire chickens? False - you have to aspect in that you lose 30-40% of the weight in inedible waste. Generic constantly less expensive compared to name brand name? Presume once more. Frozen isn't always more affordable than fresh, most affordable items aren't constantly high or reduced on racks, and also you most assuredly not conserve loan if you shop less often ... unless you have no willpower in the impulse acquiring division.

Know your costs on your most usual purchases, store regularly, store with a listing, store much more locations, and also view flyers for sales. Oh, and also be very diligent regarding following your checklist, natch.

9 - You could LOSE a great deal of money by buying with coupons

Coupons are a double-edged sword. For some points, like tooth paste, they're very great. Sadly for food, the healthy and balanced things rarely has promo codes. The food things probably to have promo codes are benefit as well as trademark name, both. The illusion that you're 'getting a wonderful bargain' could blind you to that you are investing a bunch of money on products you don't really require, could enter an already-lower-than-coupon-priced similar thing, or that you can make yourself relatively conveniently as well as WAY much more inexpensively. Unless you're an extreme-couponer-extraordinaire, couponer beware.

If you have been moved by this series and also you are of methods, please take into consideration contributing nourishing food options (whole-meal infant food, canned fruits and veggies, and canned meats) to your regional food financial institutions to help counter food instability for clingy households. Let's see to it that youngsters have what they should grow as well as thrive.

Small luxuries - like delicious chocolate, coffee, and tea - would likewise do much to boost lifestyle for those in need.

Thanks for reading, my friends.

Follow Anne's Spending Plan Consuming Challenge from the start:

Could You Feed Your Family for $5.50 each Each Day?

I Fed My Household On a Budget as well as It Sucked

The Emotional Cost of Budget Plan Eating

Budget Groceries: The Best Ways To Prevent Scurvy and Mutiny

Budget Eating: You Won't Starve, But You'll Be Exhausted

#cholesterol diet #diet #diet recipes #fruit diet #vinegar diet

[kelsredd-blog1]

Hello 2018

So I love Tumblr, but this isn’t going to be like my Tumblr in the past (myislandinthesun). Instead, I’m going to treat this account as more of a journal to track progress and celebrate growth.

Okay so HAPPY NEW YEAR! It is 2018 and I really want to write down my goals for the year and use this account to remain on track and accountable.

Goals for 2018:

*EXERCISE 

*Clean often

*Leave work before 5:30 every day

*Wake up earlier

*Cook food at home as many nights as possible

*Save up money

*Work on dental health

*Drink more water

What I’ve done on the first day of the year to accomplish this...

EXERCISE: So today is the last day of vacation and I was laying around like a bum, super cozy on the couch and I did.not.want.to.get.up. However it is only day one so I got up and did it. I worked out!

This may not seem like a huge accomplishment but I have a journal to track my workouts and stay on track and Day One? DONE

CLEANING: I felt so yucky by the time vacation started, why? Well one reason was how messy my apartment was!!!! I was spending so much time at work by the time I got home late at night I would eat & sleep. My apartment getting messier and messier... but I tackled the beast and cleaned like crazy EVERY day over vacation and my apartment looks damn good!! I even combed through my closet which is something I always want and need to do but never do. Three bags to donate later I feel pretty good. 

Goal for the week? Stay on top of laundry and go to bed with the sink EMPTY. Tonight it’s looking pretty good.

LEAVING: It is SO HARD for me to leave work. Between late meetings, hours of prep, collaborating with colleagues, grading, cleaning... It NEVER ends!!!! But it’s my third year as a teacher and I need to accept that the to-do list is never ending... there is always more that could be done but I need to focus on what is absolutely necessary for the next day, have that prepared and GO.

No more 7pm nights, I’m going to work on leaving BEFORE 5:30!

WAKE UP: This is something I have struggled with my entire life. I am not a morning person. Waking up is hard. Having more time in the morning could be so beneficial, especially getting to work earlier!!!! I will continue to work on this but I get exhausted during the work week and just cannot do it. I feel so sick in the morning and hit the snooze button millions of times. 

Alarm is currently set for 5:30 AM tomorrow UGH!!!!! I need to find baby step ways to be better at waking up early. SOS

COOK: All vacation I did so much cooking and it felt AMAZING! I am guilty of getting home from work late at night completely worn out, exhausted and HUNGRY!! It seems like a quick fix to complain about how hungry I am and then frowning at the fridge.. I easily cave and end up picking up Amatos. But I want to do better. I want to eat semi-healthier (baby steps right?) and SAVE MONEY!

Going to dedicate Sundays to groceries and meal prep. DONE today and I have a plan written on the fridge of meals for the week! 

MONEY: I’m getting sick of working hard but living paycheck to paycheck. With mass amounts of never ending bills it’s so hard!! But I have a Savings account, time to use it!! Going to set aside money from every paycheck that cannot be touched. I need to save money from my tax return and not spend! Also maybe this is the year I finally get a credit card to work on building my credit more..

Saving account, less eating out and credit card are my next steps.

DENTAL: My whole life. My whole life I have wanted to get my teeth fixed. I never went to the dentist growing up and yes, I am so jealous of the people that had braces in middle school. My plan is to do all fillings that are necessary, get my wisdom teeth out this summer and then focus on FINALLY straightening my teeth!!!! I’ve wanted this my whole life and I am so ready. 

Already started my fillings, just need to continue on my plan. Need to save up money to do so of course.

WATER: Something I started really focusing on for my health was drinking water. I was going days without drinking really any! It’s really hard with my job too because well, I can’t go to the bathroom when I need to!! Sometimes I need to wait hours. But I made drinking more water a priority and I’m doing well so far! Something important to me that I want to continue to work on.

I purchased a water bottle that keeps me on track with monitoring intake throughout the day.

So here I am, hopeful to continue to grow and better myself for the New Year. I am so grateful for my incredible life. I am so unbelievably thankful for all the love and happiness 2017 has brought me, and I look forward to being happy and healthy with my love this year. Cheers to a new year!

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