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#god im fuckin stupid i need to post my shit for once
flame-cat · 1 year
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hey fellas so @boyswillbeboxes and I have been cooking a fun concept for a few days and I thought I'd share it with you along with some Images I doodled. the post we're talking about at first is this one right here but if u don't feel like looking at it tl;dr its kim glaring at jean and being possessive of Harry. synopsis under the readmore! tws for suicide baiting and suicidal actions
rat: THAT FUCKIN COMIC WITH KIM GIVING JEAN THE SIDE EYE I'M SCREAMING
GET HIS ASS KIM
me: DLFJFKFKF IM SO GLAD U SAW ITTTT
rat: I JUST DID
me: thought of u makin that
rat: 😭😭
I'm so honored
God lmao you're right tho
Listen listen if Harry fails the check for the karaoke and Jean is there and doesn't clap for Harry, Kim swears a VENDETTA
That's CANON
He brings it up at the tribunal he's so petty
The second one
He says some really backhanded shit I don't remember the specifics but he's basically like Enemy Sighted
me: he took one look at this man and went "is anyone gonna become harshly overprotective of that" and didn't wait for an answer
rat: NO FOR REAL
IT'S INSANE HOW QUICKLY KIM WOULD DIE FOR HARRY
I LOVE IT I LOVE THEM
me: like in my head it literally is just. jean is minding his business. he doesn't even do anything. and Kim is just glaring daggers at him from across the room. in my head it's a sitcom bit where every time Harry leaves the room with Kim and Jean left Kim threatens Jean's life and as soon as Harry comes back in hes Normal again and jean is like GET YOUR FUCKING DOG BITCH
rat: Nobody ever believes Jean when he says this is happening
"No he's so even-tempered he's really polite maybe you just misinterpreted?"
Or even worse it makes Jean look crazy
me: like jean comes back to his desk and there's his mug which is now filled with dirt and a sticky note that says "bitch"
he looks over at Kim's desk and Kim is staring directly at him with murder in his eyes
and then a couple seconds pass and he looks away like nothing happened and jean is like "oh its ON motherfucker" (it is not on. jean can't hope to fight back against the wrath of kim kitsuragi)
jean fills Kim's coffee with salt? Kim just drinks it all. completely straight face. doesn't flinch once
kim comes over later and is like "thanks for the coffee" even tho jean was SURE no one saw him do that
he goes to fucking pryce about it eventually and he's just like "I don't appreciate you spreading rumors about the newest member of the 41st. he's done exemplary work. far better than you. maybe you need to go through that sensitivity training again?" and he blows his fucking LID over that.
challenges kim to a fucking brawl in the middle of the bullpen and Kim is just like. officer you're embarrassing yourself *eyebrow*
his reputation never recovers. even more of a joke than Dick Mullen now
rat: Kim being so so SO careful never to do this when anyone else is around. But then one day Jean is in the bathroom, and then the door opens, and it's Kim. And Kim just stops. Looks at him. Smirks a little. Then reaches behind himself and locks the door
And Jean feels FEAR
Kim never actually touches him. But it's very clear he's more than capable of following through on his threats.
Getting in his space and grabbing his chin to make sure Jean is Paying Attention
me: jean starts looking over his shoulder on his way home. one time Kim tails him just to fuck with him. jean thinks he loses him but when he gets onto his street kim is standing outside of his building, having his one cigarette
jean is stood frozen. Kim locks eyes with him as he puts out the cig on his boot. walks away
jean i think starts to try and play dirty as well but idk how he'd go about it. he's too... hm. stupid
rat: Yeah yeah yeah for sure like. He tries to "trick" Kim into a fight but Kim is five steps ahead at all times, he never takes the bait
And god help him if he tries to antagonize Harry to get to Kim
That's when Kim gets SERIOUS
That's when Kim finds him in a dark alley outside of work
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Grabs a handful of his hair, smashes his face into a brick wall, puts him into a hammerlock hold
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Whispers in his ear if he ever catches him trying that shit again, he's not getting a warning next time
me: I think it'd be hilarious if Jean tried to threaten suicide and it just. doesn't work. I think it'd make sense for him to bait kim like "okay well what if I killed myself and framed YOU for my MURDER" and Kim is like officer don't be dramatic get over yourself please
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rat: Kim just staring at him like "Okay then. Do it. Right now."
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Maybe Kim even hands over his gun
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Jean trying to turn the tables by pointing it at Kim
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Kim never flinches
"Go ahead. Pull the trigger. Unlike your idiotic plan, I'll be missed. And we both know Harry never stops."
me: I just think that scene in the alley could end up with Harry intuiting whats going on, that an officer is in danger, so he goes to stop it and- hey JEAN IS POINTING A GUN AT KIM??? AND KIM ISNT??? STOPPING HIM????
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rat: HARRY PUTTING HIMSELF IN THE WAY OF THE GUN
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Jean having to reconcile the fact that Harry is no longer his, insofar as he was before
me: after a tense second of not moving. jean actually considering doing it.
rat: GOD Jean being like I could just do it. Shoot him, maybe have time to reload and shoot myself after. That might be the only way to truly Hurt Kim
me: kim catches on to that. and for the first time he IS afraid
hes fine losing himself. but losing Harry? he couldn't bear it. he would sooner die
then. all at once. jean drops it
he can't do it. too much of a coward. "GOD FUCKING DAMN YOU!!" punches the wall etc. definitely crying. meanwhile kim GRABS Harry by the shoulders. he's shaking with fury and also something else. "what the FUCK are you thinking-" and Harry cuts him off with "what are YOU thinking? what the fuck was that? what HAPPENED to you?"
Harry means "you two" but kim feels that in his soul
they leave jean to talk after that. and that conversation is not a pretty one
smth smth "I was trying to protect you" "that was too far" "he went too far first. he was hurting you" "so your solution is to hurt him back?" "he wasn't going to STOP" "then let me deal with it!" etc etc
no idea what jean does from there. maybe he actually fucking thinks and reconsiders things and idk grows as a person
anyway after that we get the dinner from hell
harry invites them to a get-along dinner. christ
GOD. THE TENSEST DINNER EVER. TO RIVAL ANY FAMILY DINNER
im just imagining them trying to throttle each other on top of some takeout
harry is yelling TIMEOUT TIMEOUT
composure failure
rat: Harry like "can't we all just get along??" and Kim and Jean say NO at the same time
me: they both point at each other at the same time and go HE STARTED IT
harry actually passes an authority check and scolds them and they both realize how petty this is and its all very embarrassing and Harry is treating this very seriously. fully goes "do you have anything to say?" and they grumble sorry and he's like "not to me. to *each other*"
rat: He only passed Kim's authority because Kim hates seeing him sad
me: slow look at each other. jean holds out a hand. Kim grabs it so tight you hear joints snap.
they still hate each other so so much but Harry is Determined to make them friends
its like. harry is their get-along shirt
rat: Harry like the power of love and friendship will prevail and Kim tries he really does but every time he sees Jean he hears the Kill Bill sirens in his head
He makes an honest effort to threaten his life less but that's all he can manage
me: I do think this could get resolved eventually tho. like harry being put in some sort of crisis situation where his life is on the line or something
rat: Wouldn't it be funny if the situation was something Harry put himself in though
Like getting himself kidnapped by a gang
Like "wow this will really bring Jean and Kim together! ♡"
Meanwhile he's literally tied to a chair with his face bloody and nose broken
And Jean and Kim HAVE to team up. They can't take on a gang ALONE
Jean pretends not to care but he cares so much it makes him look stupid
If Harry actually dies what the fuck is he supposed to do
me: it works but not in the way he intended cause it actually touches on the heart of the conflict is that Jean wants to blame Harry for everything ever and also he does care so much it makes him look stupid so when they find out it was actually sort of on purpose they BOTH GET MAD AT HIM FOR THE SAME REASON
a horrible, deadly pact is formed. harry is now in grave danger
rat: Harry wanted them to be friends. And now, unfortunately, they are
He's never getting let out of their sight again
me: I like to think eventually they do chill out and become friends about it. like outside of all that. maybe jean finally gets over himself and Kim and Harry have a talk about being posessive- lol I'm just kidding those two are codependent to the fucking grave. but still I think they could end up being civil and the death threats just become banter
the competitive streak never dies tho. constantly trying to one-up each other. functional kismesistude
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lazaruspiss · 7 months
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every once in a while I remember the "are you white: yes or no" quiz and i get befuddled and angry all over again. rant under the cut.
there were 3 types of people in those notes:
1) white people complaining about how white tumblr is according to the poll (the poll results seem more indicative of the type of person who would participate in a poll like that than the actual tumblr demographic)
2) mixed race people voicing what i can only describe as mixed race angst (im really not sure how to explain it to someone who hasnt personally been through it but it was fucking heart breaking to see) as well as general self loathing
3) people explaining why that mentality of white or everything else is racist (thank god for them i thought i was gonna go insane reading those other notes)
like fuckin hell. first of all dont give fucking census information out on tumblr you weirdos. second of all unless that poll was written by an actual baby im fucking bewildered as to how someone could genuinely make a post like that unless it's supposed to be engagement bait or some shit.
hey. hey. newsflash. implying that white people must be inherently separate from other races is bad. implying that mixed people need to pick a side is bad. reinventing the fucking one drop race purity theory is bad. scrounge up a fuckin braincell my god. like do people just forget that white people can reproduce with non-white people? is that so fuckin crazy? are people that stupid?
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twiggyart6 · 3 months
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collecting short funny things to write under fanart of characters you really love
please feel free to add more thank you :3
(this is long as shit be prepared)
ough
looking at them
my friend :)
mwehehe
augh
I can't believe this
brain blasted
what a little freak
do you even care
be so fucking for real
your kidding
what a weirdo
a wonderous creature
consider this
from my personal collection
what the
I'm so normal
I'm not normal
why are they like that
evil swag
TEEHEE
I'm gonna frow up
yeah this is pretty cool
pretty fucked up dog
have you seen this?
my beautiful princess
I'm ill
oh good heavens!
my son. he has every disease
this shit aint nothin to me man
I laurve them
yoink
just a little bit. as a treat
tell them to stop
me when I GET you
MY GUY
the psychic worm (wohwohwohwohw)
good lord
cuteness aggression towards them
what the fuck ever
im feeling something
sigh
me when the
GRRAAAHH
im fucking serious
love it when they appear
its becoming unhealthy
go white boy go!
your never gonna believe this
worst guy ive ever seen
their just so ... drawable
sorry guys
i saw it in a dream
she is very gorgeous to me!
i see them when i close my eyes
my little scrungle
be so fucking for real
i can do whatever i want
bitch
yeah
my baby girl
my little kitty meow meow
they've done something to me
i gotta get outa here
yep
my favorite white man
dude!?
full of joy a whimsy
going cray cray!
well....
erm
heyy gurl wasup
she is beuty she is grace
aaaaanything could happen
just like me fr
its time
yahoo!
divine retribution
yay!!
so was foretold in the prophecy
their so ... woah
yessir
god. fucking. damn.
they understand me
you are not immune to propaganda
Explodes character with mind
Forgive me
I would tell them my most depraved thoughts
for the win!
my treasure my beloved
awesome
oh yeah woo yeah
thats it thats the post
this above all else
-INHALE-
had to get it out of my system
you absolute baby buffoon
but make it epic
dont question it
gay baby jail
mwah <3
i want to make them into bread
no guys you don't get it
i got nervous
every fuckin time man
[puts face in hands and groans loudly]
no way
DONT DO THIS TO MEEEEE
take a deep breath
stupid little bow wow
cringeposting once again
abandon society, embrace insanity
god has let me draw another day
had to do it
changed my brain chemistry
so the thing is-
im going to make you so girlfail
pathetic wet cat
guys.
their neat idk
or something like that
ATTENTION!!
i have the disease and its terminal
shrimply amazing!
hits you with the beam
smile :)
send help
oh hi didn't see you there
no i will not elaborate
the creature is demonic in nature
i think there's something wrong with them
i think there's something wrong with me
its fine
woah woah woah
do you even realize what you've done
very cool
do you see my vision
whatever the fuck this is called
the strugler
interesting..
oh i got you dont worry
nobody move
character on the brain always and forever
#1 hater
funny you should say that
nature is healing
imagine a guy. now imagine them again
ooo mama
get drawn idiot
get obsessed over idiot
if only they were real
post this character instantly
your honor i need them
ive got some notes
A juicy morsel
I want to push them down the stairs
They wouldn’t dare
(Eyes wide and mouth frothing) yeah!
my beautiful wife <3
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coatl-cuddles · 5 years
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Today's the day I post extremely old art that I forgot existed
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This time it's food fantasy ocs sobs
There's our historian boy Pierogi (SR) who could list every food that starts with the letter A, but will literally forget how to get back to his own house. He means well, but God is he ignorant or dense sometimes and is doing his best to understand those around him. He's got a lot of work to do, but he's slowly getting out of the toxic mindset he was forced to grow up in and is learning to be loving and caring for all those around him!!! People can change and Pierogi is here to prove that!
Then there's the terrible Influencer of children aka Pixy Stix (M) who """might""" be an ACTUAL drug addict. But she's a lot of fun and is honestly really nice and supportive of her friends! She's our wild lesbian daughter and may or may not be based off one of my best friends irl idk who knows ;3. Also she's dating her wonderful gf Fundip and they're planning on engagement soon xoxo
And lastly is emo wannabe villian boy Mutligrain Oven Bread (R) who would probably thanos the entire SR and UR population if he could, cause he's fucking tired of people being seen as a lesser person just because they're not labeled as the same ""quality"". He'll never get over the fact that they find rares to be useless compared to SR and UR, which is fucking valid cause everyone should be of equal worth, but he learns to express his frustrations healthily and safely through character development and is one of my faves.
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fanfic-me-up · 4 years
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Capture This! || Kaminari Denki
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Synopsis: You walk in on Denki, your best friend of five years, getting off. Two questions: Why is there a picture of you? And why do you want him to take more? 
Pairing: Kaminari Denki x fem!reader
Warnings: M/E+, 18+, explicit sexual content
Word Count: 6k+
A/N: This is for the @bnhabookclub​ bingo event! Thank you @shoutogepi​ and @im-here-for-the-heroes​ for beta reading. Shout out to @whats-her-quirk​ this fic was born from me poppin in during your thirst hours lol
“Lotion? Check. Tissues? Check. Pictures?” 
Denki swallows. 
“Check.”
It’s routine for Denki, really the only ritual he sticks to in his otherwise scatterbrained schedule of kickin’ ass, chilling with friends, and playing Fortnite till ungodly hours of the morning.
But he can’t help it. You’re fucking gorgeous, and Denki has needs - his brain programmed to get off at least three times a day else he can’t function. The first time it happened, he felt a deep sense of shame, twisting his gut, disgusted with himself that he defiled your image. He couldn’t look you in the eye for a week until you had enough and demanded to know what was up. It was the first time he lied to you. 
But one time became two, and three, and suddenly Denki needed an image of you all the time. The one of you looking all pretty in that stupid summer dress was his favorite. You bought it that one time you dragged him to the mall because you needed a “guy’s opinion.” He rushed to the bathroom because if he didn’t get out fast, he was gonna drag you back into the changing room and rip that dress off himself.
You’re adorable, hot, sexy, and absolutely terrifying, wrapped up in one perfect package.
Oh, and did he forget to mention?
Totally off-limits.
This is why Denki has to resort to hanging out with you, listening to you vent about your boy problems, and how you just want to meet “the one” already. Denki’s heart breaks a little more every time you shove him deeper into the friend zone, all the while pretending like he didn’t just jerk it to you a couple hours before.
He works his hand up and down his shaft, growing harder by the second with each stroke. It doesn’t take much to get him going, not when it’s you. You’re wearing his hoodie, toes buried in the sand, roasting a marshmallow in front of a bonfire. You’re smiling at something Kirishima said, Denki doesn’t remember what, because all he could see was the light in your eyes. A genuine spark lit only when the cameras were off, and you were unaware of anyone watching. Denki loved witnessing these rare moments; wanted to commit it to memory, so he did. When you posted the picture on Instagram, Denki was more than surprised; you had scrunched your nose when he showed you the picture, displeased with how you looked.
This should not be happening. Any normal person would feel ashamed when staring at a picture of their best friend and touching themselves. No one knew about it, and Denki was surprised he was able to keep it a secret for this long considering he’s friends with fucking Mina of all people.
Enough pre-cum bubbles at the tip that he doesn’t even need the lotion. Staring at you on the screen, wearing his hoodie that’s way too big it covers your thighs completely, makes his mind wander to all sorts of ways he wishes he could get you out of that hoodie. He leans back into the chair, spreading his legs with his eyes half-lidded, imagining what your lips might look like wrapped around his cock. 
“Fuck yeah...”
Groaning at the image of you on your knees, lips bruised and slicked with spit from fucking your pretty little mouth has Denki tightening his fist, hips fucking into his hand in a continuous rhythm. 
He’s on the verge of coming when the door swings open - the first and last person Denki wants to walk in is standing there in front of him.
“Hey, I called, but you didn’t - ah!” You squeak, throwing the box you’re holding. A sea of random knick-knacks and hero merch rains over you. You hear a thump when the yellow polaroid camera you bought for Denki at a thrift shop hits the floor. 
“Fuck!” Denki jumps from his chair, an array of pens fall in a heap to the floor. 
You whip your head away, heat spikes your body, embarrassed that you saw your best friend in such a compromising position. 
Denki mutters a repeated “shit shit shit” to himself for a good minute before he finally addresses you; his voice rising with each word.
“How did you get in here!?”
“Spare key, dumbass!” 
“That’s for emergencies only!”
“Are you talking to me with your dick out!?”
Silence.
“No?”
You huff at the uncertainty in his tone. It’s only two o’clock, and you can already feel a migraine coming on.
“Denki, if I turn around and you’re not covered, so help me god I will-”
“Okay, okay, I got it. Pants are zipped.” 
You don’t move until you hear the confirming “zip” before slowly opening your eyes (you have no idea why your eyes were closed in the first place), and you turn around to find Denki leaning against the desk. He’s trying his best to appear casual, but the flush on his face and frazzled hair give away what he was doing moments before you walked in. You don’t know where it comes from, but the thought alone stirs something inside you.
The confusing emotion is replaced by hot-blooded anger when you lock eyes on the screen behind him.
“Is that my face!?” 
Denki’s smile drops as he turns around. Dammit. Of course, he forgot to close the tab.
“Uhhh…”
He has no words, none, not when you’re standing there with that intense look in your eyes you get when you’re about to rip someone a new one. Your anger could rival Bakugou’s, and Denki has unfortunately been in the middle of one too many screaming matches. He’s surprised his eardrums aren’t blown out by now.
He clicks to exit out, or at least he thinks he does until he comes to the dumb realization that he’s clicking the zoom button instead. 
“Ho-hold on, let me just…” 
With each click, it zooms a little more into your face until only your nose is in the frame. Denki sheepishly looks up at you.
“Oops?”
Denki’s had a good life. He’s already come farther than most ever dream in their career when becoming a pro-hero, and he’s made some amazing friends most spend years trying to find. The only regret of his is not confessing his true feelings to you, but really what’s one regret? He’s totally a-okay with saying goodbye to this cruel, cruel world if it meant not being subjected to this torture any longer. 
“Denki Kaminari.”
Denki gulps. Oh no. You only say his full name when you mean business. 
“Explain right this instant or I will walk out this door and tell the whole world how you and grape boy took body shots off cardboard cutouts of each other!”
“Hey! We were really fuckin’ drunk and thought it might score us some pity sex with the ladies!” 
“In what world would you licking fuckin’ Mineta equal oh yeah, fuck me, Denki?”
Denki cowers with each step you take, gulping down the lump in his throat when your face is close enough to hold in his hands. He’s never been more simultaneously turned on and terrified in his life. Especially when he just heard the words “fuck me, Denki” escape your lips.
Don’t look down. Don’t look down. Whatever you do. Don’t. Look. Down.
The last thing he wants is you flinging him out the window because he couldn’t keep his eyes on your face. Don’t get him wrong; he could look at your face forever, even when you look like your one move away from killing him. But… he’s a dude, and there’s boobs in front of him, not to mention your boobs.
“Hello? Earth to Denki?” You wave your hand in his face.
“You may wanna sit down for this.” 
“I’m fine where I am, thank you very much.” 
He huffs out a breath, annoyed you didn’t take the bait. The suggestion was more for his sanity than yours. With you standing so close, his brain is going haywire; the tantalizing scent of strawberries and cream short-circuiting his brain quicker than when he overuses his quirk. It never fails to make his mouth water, if only he could bend down and bury his nose in the crook of your neck, god, he’d never let you go.
How does he even begin to work through the feelings he has for you when they’ve been bottled up since the moment he knew he was in deep? Where does he start?
The fact he’s been in love with you for the past five years? 
Or that he’s been getting off to you for half that time? 
Denki’s mind is running a mile a minute, like a computer in overdrive. He can’t make enough sense of his emotions to convert into words. But, instead of waiting to open his mouth, like a normal person, Denki spews out embarrassing word vomit that connects his two thoughts.
“I love getting off to you.”
A pin could drop, and it’d be as loud as a freaking hurricane. 
Denki groans in frustration, facepalming his forehead. What the hell did he just say, and can he take it back? How long would it take for him to hack into a database and find someone with a time manipulation quirk? He doesn’t even know how to hack, but he’d wrangle his one brain cell and fucking learn if that’s what it takes.
He’s usually good at reading you. You’re one of the few people he cares enough to pick up on how you’re feeling. The myriad of emotions that pass on your face from shock to confusion to a hint of amusement lets Denki know he can breathe easy. At least you’re not trying to kill him anymore.
“Oh-kay that’s not what I - what I meant to say was - hold on, lemme just, rewind.”
He makes some weird, loopy gesture with his arms. His brain was firing a million synapses at once, each connected to a different thought, some deep like the fear of losing you and some not so deep - like he’s really excited to eat the cheeseburgers Bakugou promised he’d grill tonight. 
But he tries his best to reign in the million and one thoughts to focus on you, who’s waiting for an explanation. He takes a deep breath to steady his heart that’s about to beat out of his chest. He only hopes you don’t stomp on it after what he’s about to say.
“I’m in love with you, Y/N. I have been since our first year at U.A. I wanted to tell you for the longest time, but then you got with Bakugou. Then you broke up, and you needed a friend more than ever, and how could I say no to being ‘your best bro’ when you were crying on my shoulder? It was just never the right time.”
The more he rambled, the more uncomfortable he felt. Out of all the scenarios he imagined of how he’d confess to you, this one was at the bottom of his list to be prepared for. He never expected to be forced into confessing because you caught him masturbating to pictures of you. He rubs the back of his neck and gives an awkward laugh when you stay silent.
“I get it if you wanna, like, shun me forever or something. I deserve it for being such a creep.” 
Denki lowers his head to the floor, the clutter of fallen pens and knick-knacks looks way less intimidating than staring into your eyes. A soft hand touches his chin, lifting his face to meet yours.
“Hey, look at me, it’s okay.” 
Your voice does wonders for soothing the nerves shaking him up.
“I guess it’s not that creepy when you put it like that, and for some weird reason, you’re like the one person I can catch jacking off to my pictures, and I don’t feel the need to report you as a registered sex offender.”
It’s meant to be reassuring, but Denki’s heart drops at the idea of you labeling him as the neighborhood perv.
“Please, don’t do that,” he squeaks before clearing his throat, “But for real, Y/N, I’m so sorry. It’s wrong to disrespect you like that, and I promise I won’t do it again.”
Denki has no idea how he’s gonna get off now, but that’s his future self’s problem.
“I can’t help it, you’re gorgeous, and I love ya, and I don’t remember the last time I got laid.”
Fuck. He didn’t mean to say that last part, but it’s the truth. You’re the reason he couldn’t even look at another girl, because they weren’t you, and that’s why he had to resort to pulling up pictures of you. Pictures that aren’t normally deemed “sexy” and of you dressed modestly, without much skin showing.
That doesn’t stop Denki from coming in record time with your name rolling off his lips every time.
“How bad do you want me?”
You’d be lying if you said you weren’t the least bit curious about what sex with your best friend would be like. You heard he wasn’t a bad lay from a couple girls back at U.A. 
You’d also be lying if you didn’t say you were just as horny as said best friend.
It’s difficult finding time to date as a pro-hero. When you do, it doesn’t last very long anyway - the other person growing tired of always coming second to your career. Don’t even get you started on one night stands. They’re practically impossible to uphold as once the media gets wind of it, you’re slapped on the cover of “Hero Times Magazine,” and everyone and their mother is calling for you to “spill the tea.” This is why pro-heroes either end up with other pro-heroes or end up alone. 
Denki’s eyebrows shoot straight to his hairline. If someone were to tell him you were attracted to him in any sense of the word, his heart would double-time it, but he’d ultimately brush it off. He knew your type, and he could not be farther from it. The aggressive, beefy, gym rat who could match you move for move in a heated spar of harsh words and hot-blooded passion. You dated Bakugou for fuck’s sake! There was no hope for Denki after that.
But he’ll be damned if he doesn’t take what he can get. The words pour out of him like the dam’s been broken and the unforgiving flood rushes.
“I want you so bad, Y/N, fuck, I’ve waited so long, so fucking long, you don’t know how crazy you make me.” 
Your breath catches. His words have an unexpected effect on you, but your heart drums in anticipation. If you listen close enough, you can hear Denki’s beating at the same rate, waiting for what you’re going to say next. Power surges through you. In your past relationships, sex was always seen as this competition. Your exes never wanted to relinquish their pride or control, but Denki is nothing like your exes. He’s laid-back, always cracking jokes, and never dwelling too much on the past, always moving forward to the next moment. He’s perfectly fine with letting you take the reins most of the time. You determine what will happen next.
“You love getting off to me?”
It’s a rhetorical question, but he answers in earnest.
“You’re the only one I get off to.”
You slide your dress off, and it falls to the floor.
“Show me.”
Denki’s eyes travel over your body, his mouth slightly open in disbelief at your undressed state. He wants to capture this moment in case this is as much as he gets, even if he can never use this mental picture because he promised you he wouldn’t. His fingers itch to brush along the lace trim of your bra, to graze along your nipple, and watch your reaction. Are you sensitive enough where you’d full on moan, or would he have to strain to catch the small hitch of breath? Denki was never top of his class. He preferred to wing it and hope for the best, but for you, he’d take his time to study every inch and crevice of your body until he could read you cover to cover with his eyes closed. His gaze travels down to the matching lace panties you wear, a cute little bow in the front waiting to be untied with his teeth. 
Did you plan to get fucked today? Or do you usually wear matching sets on the regular? 
Your skin looks so soft and supple, he’s aching to dig his fingers, but before he can, you step away. Denki cocks his head. Have you changed your mind? But any doubt leaves Denki when you make your way across the room to sit down on the edge of the bed. 
You start with feather-light touches dancing along your collarbone. Your eyes are locked on Denki, getting high on the way he drinks in your every move. Your touches are teasing, especially when your finger dips down to your cleavage. Still, instead of giving Denki what he wants, you change course, making your way back to your shoulders. Denki exhales a breath at your teasing, but says nothing, too afraid he’ll ruin the mood if he says something stupid. 
When you make your way down again, you don’t disappoint; you pinch your nipple through your bra, and the way Denki swipes his tongue over his lip has heat rushing to your core. You slide your hand down your stomach, stopping when you reach your clothed slit. Denki stares, hungry and buzzing in anticipation for what you’ll do next. Smirking in victory, you spread your legs open and pull your panties to the side, giving him the view to capture the perfect picture of your dripping pussy.
“Take a picture, it’ll last longer.” 
You taunt breathlessly, tracing your folds with your fingers.
Oh shit. Were you for real? Please, tell him you were for real because he legit might cry if this was some elaborate prank. Where are the fucking cameras? 
“You don’t want to?” You bite your lip, insecurity seeping through the confident smile you wore just a moment ago.
“No! I mean - yes! Yes, I do, holy shit, let me find - where the fuck is…” Denki whips around, trying to find his phone. Fuck! Out of all the times to misplace it, it has to be now. But then he spots the yellow polaroid camera sitting on the floor, and before he can think, he’s picking it up and praying it has film. He kneels, so he’s eye level with your pussy, but also making sure the angle gets your whole body in the frame. The light streaming in gives you an ethereal look, your skin glowing, and adding to the cute flush on your cheeks. The camera clicks, and a second later, the picture slides out. You giggle at Denki’s impatience. He’s waving the picture frantically in the air, so the color comes through faster. He completely stills when he can finally take a good look at the beauty he’s captured.
“Fuck, Y/N, you look…” 
Denki can’t control the groan that escapes. He looks back up at you, eyes darkened with lust before he’s ripping his shorts off so fast, his foot gets caught, and he almost trips in the process. Once he’s out of them, he plops back down in the chair across the room. You’re surprised when all you feel is pure, unadulterated lust. You expected to be at least a little bit weirded out staring at your best friend’s cock, but all you want is to put it in your mouth and explore all the different ways you can make him come. The tip is oozing pre-cum already, and the way he works his hand with a sense of urgency suggests he’s been hard for a while. It doesn’t take long before you hear Denki grunt.
“Fuck, I’m close.”
You look so pretty spread out for him. For the last five years, he wanted nothing more than to see you like this. His hips jerk up, and he throws his head back, but he makes sure to keep his eyes open like his life depended on it; he didn’t want to miss a second of this. You, with your legs wide open giving him a view of your perfect little pussy. Your panties soaked by you rubbing your clit mercilessly, and your pupils blown wide as you watch your best friend get off to the show you’re giving him. It’s erotic as hell, completely different from the pictures Denki has of you. This one easily tops all the others. He tightens his fist - he doesn’t want it to end without feeling your skin on his at least once.
“Let me touch you, Y/N, please, I just wanna touch you, need to feel you.” 
Denki doesn’t give a fuck that he’s begging at this point. He’s waited too damn long to care about pride or dignity, not when the chance to fuck you is placed in his shaking hands. You bite your lip to suppress a moan, but it comes out anyway.
“Touch me.” 
That’s all Denki needs. Before you know it, you’re pushed down on the bed, and lips smash against yours. He’s eager, a little too eager, shoving his tongue in your mouth and touching everywhere that he can. You don’t have much room to breathe, so you gently push at his chest.
“Chill, Denki.”
He huffs out a breath, muscles shaking like he’s restraining himself from overwhelming you.
“Sorry, sorry, sorry,” 
He mumbles, peppering kisses into your neck before making his way back to your lips. It’s much smoother this time, his tongue sliding out to tease your bottom lip, asking for permission this time. He groans when you open up for him, your tongue meeting his. Hands trail up until they reach around, resting on the clasp of your bra. Honey eyes meet yours, but you cut off his question.
“I’ll stop you if I need to, but you asking me if it’s okay every time you try something is gonna seriously kill the mood.” 
You reach around to place your hands on top of his, unclasping your bra along with him. His eyes darken at the sight of your bare chest. You try not to squirm at the intensity of his gaze. It becomes near impossible when he dips down to flick his tongue over your nipple before biting with his teeth. He pays the same attention to the other one before kissing his way down your stomach. You arch your back when he spreads your legs and positions himself between them. He makes his way around, avoiding your dripping pussy, teasing your thighs with soft kisses. You huff in annoyance, and he smirks up at you, biting into the flesh of your thigh. This time he places a kiss to your heated center, enjoying the way you squirm under his touch. 
“Is it everything you imagined?” You ask.
He looks up at you, with such a serious expression, one you’ve only seen a couple times since knowing him.
“Everything and more.”
Your heart flutters, and you know you’re going to say something you’ll regret if you don’t stop counting the different shades of gold in his eyes. You clear your throat before throwing your hair back.
“You gonna fuck me, or am I gonna have to do it myself?”
You pull his head in for a demanding kiss, biting on his lip to distract yourself from the rush of bubbling emotions threatening to surface.
“One sec,” Denki whispers, placing one last kiss to your lips, before getting up.
You gape at the giant box of condoms he casually pulls out. It hasn’t been opened, and oh my god, you didn’t even know they made huge boxes like this. There were at least a hundred in there. What person thinks to buy a big box of condoms if their plans don’t include… fucking a whole ass army? 
“What the fuck, Denki?” 
People usually have one, maybe two condoms in their wallet at most. Some guys don’t have any at all, which kills the mood when you’re in the heat of the moment, so I guess you can be thankful that Denki is... extra prepared?
“What?” 
He pulls a condom out and drops the box. It thumps when it hits the floor. You’re taken aback by how nonchalant he’s being about this.
“I- you- wha- How many times do you think we’re gonna do it!?” 
Denki slides the condom on, smirking at your shocked expression.  
“Till we finish this box,” he says as he slides into you. 
You gasp at the stretch. He pushes to the hilt, and stays there when he notices the slight furrow of your brow. It has been a while since you’ve fucked, but soon enough, you crave more so you roll your hips, but he doesn’t move.
“Denki?” 
His head is pressed into your neck, warm breath tickling your skin, and the stuttering heartbeat matches to the beat of your own. 
“Just… gimme a minute, don’t wanna ruin it by coming in two seconds.” 
His words are muffled, voice raspy with desire, and you can only imagine what his face looks like. It makes you want him all the more. Finally, someone who doesn’t see sex as an opportunity to one-up you or to put you in your place. It’s scary how the last twenty minutes have changed five years of friendship.
“Hey,” you hold his face in between your palms. He already looks completely fucked out with his face flushed and eyes glazed. You place a tender kiss to his lips, unlike the previous kisses you shared. 
“You couldn’t ruin it even if you did come right now.”
You caress his hair in an attempt to reassure him.
“You’d just have to make it up to me,” you wink.
His smile is so pure, lighting up his eyes that’s unique to Denki; it makes your heart do somersaults in your chest. But the moment passes as the previous heat between you two spikes when Denki circles his hips, taking his time to feel you inside and out. He’s touching and kissing you wherever he can, your cheek, neck, chest, thighs, like it’s the first and last time he’ll experience you like this. It might very well be. 
This thought doesn’t sit well with you.
Once he’s mapped out your sweet spots, he digs his fingers into your thighs and pulls your hips flush towards his. He pulls out of you until only the tip is brushing your opening and pounds back into you, taking your breath away. He pumps in and out of you faster, and you cry out when he hits that special spot deep inside of you.
“Denki,” you moan. He grunts and spreads your legs even wider, grabbing one and hauling it over his shoulder to pound into you deeper.
He’s getting close, hell, he’s been close even before you walked in. 
“F-fuck…” Denki groans, thrusting at an uneven pace and feeling the familiar tightening in his groin.
Wrapping your legs around his waist, you flip him over and begin bouncing on his cock in a much more steady rhythm. Denki’s staring up at you, eyes wide in admiration.
You’re a goddess. An absolute fucking masterpiece that needs to be put in a museum for his eyes only. God, when did he get so fucking mushy? You always brought out different sides that Denki, himself, didn’t even know he had. He can’t keep his hands off you, grabbing your boobs, sliding down the curves of your thighs, gripping your ass. He wants to commit it all to memory in case he never gets to know this pleasure again. 
“Y/N, ah, shit, I’m gonna...” he trails off, unable to finish his sentence.
He’s holding on to that sweet release for as long as he can. He’s been craving it since he met you on the first day of class at U.A. His balls tighten, unable to hold it in any longer, before he gives in to the long overdue orgasm. It hits him hard - his entire body tingling from head to toe like 1000 volts of electricity bolt through him. Denki had no idea he could come for this long, but he doesn’t want it to end - it feels so fucking good inside you. He rides it out for a couple more thrusts before he relaxes, completely sated. You try to pull off him, but he grabs your hips and forces you back down. You squeak, clearly not expecting him to care enough to help you out after he finished.
“Where do you think you’re going?”
The tone of his voice sounds foreign in his ears, too gruff and too deep, but you seem to have no problems with it as you moan in response, working yourself on top of him. Your thighs crush his hips, shaking with need as you seek a release of your own. You’re tired from bouncing, so you resort to grinding, swirling your hips deliciously around his cock. Denki squeezes your ass in appreciation.
“You close?” 
“Close, so close, Denki, please…”
Your eyes well up with tears, desperate to finish; the coil in your stomach wound too tight that you might burst any second. Denki helps you by thrusting his hips to meet yours, his hand rubbing your clit. You jolt at the sudden zap to your clit, you look down to see a small spark leave Denki’s fingertip. He does it again, and you cry out, your pussy fluttering from the electrifying touch.
“C’mon, baby, you can do it, come for me.” 
Fuck. Denki didn’t mean for the pet name to slip out, but then you’re moaning louder than before that Denki would’ve had to quiet you if you weren’t alone. Words are tumbling out before you can stop them.
“Oh, fuck, Denki, I love this so much, I love you, I-” 
You slap your hand over your mouth. Denki’s eyes widen for a second before a dangerous glint takes over, and he wretches your hand away from your mouth.
“Lemme hear you. C’mon, Y/N, show me how much you love this.”
You hardly recognize the scream as your own; you flush at how loud you are, but Denki doesn’t seem to mind. It seems to spur him on. He sits up so your chest to chest before he bends down to tug at your nipple with his teeth. You throw your head back in pleasure, your hands coming around to grab at his hair. Golden eyes look up at you from your chest, a slight smirk curving his lips.
“I’m no photographer, baby girl, but I can sure as hell picture us together.”
Leave it to Denki Kaminari to make you come with a cheesy pickup line. 
He gives one final thrust, balls slapping against your ass and hitting the spot deep inside you just right. Your thighs quiver from the pleasure wracking your body, a scream lodging out of your throat so loud that the people next door bang on the wall. You’re overwhelmed to the point that all you can do is rest your head on his shoulder, whispering his name in a broken whimper as you finish. 
You fall next to him on the bed, sweaty and completely wiped, both of you trying to catch your breath. Denki tosses the condom in the trash while you stare at the ceiling, watching the fan swirl round and round. Your mind is no different at the moment, going round in circles, and you’re trying to catch up. Your body feels weightless, tingling all over and loving the high you didn’t think was possible. The bed shifts, and suddenly you’re faced with your best friend of five years. Before he can get a word out, the front door slams shut, and two very familiar, very masculine voices are down the hall, getting closer by the second. 
“Kaminari, you lazy shit, get the fuck down here!”
“Shit!” Denki jumps from the bed, ruffling through the mess to find his pants.
“Denki, just lock the door! Hurry!”
It’s too late as the door swings open, and yeah… if today taught Denki anything, it’s that he really needs to lock his door more often. He doesn’t have time to think as he hops back into bed with you to avoid flashing any of his other friends today. Bakugou would probably threaten to chop his dick off and… yeah, Denki doesn’t wanna think about the rest.
You squeak and cover yourself with the blanket when you’re met with two sets of equally shocked crimson eyes.
Kirishima drops the bag of chips he’s holding. It seems like dropping things when walking into Denki’s room was a common theme today, and he’s sure as hell not looking forward to the cleanup. Denki regrets chancing a glance at Bakugou; nostrils flaring like a rabid predator on the loose and Denki’s his target.
The four of you stare at each other for who knows how long before Kirishima breaks out into a full-on grin.
“About time, bro, congrats!” 
“Congrats?” You turn to Denki, confused.
“The fuck!? You bangin’ my ex, dunceface!?” Bakugou shouts.
“Please don’t hurt me!” Denki squeaks, hiding underneath the covers.
“Oi! You fuck like a man, you better fight like one, too!”
You roll your eyes, hardly affected by Bakugou’s exploding presence, unlike Denki, who is literally shaking beside you.
“Oh fuck off, Katsuki, listen to yourself. Keyword ex-girlfriend.”
Bakugou sputters, and Kirishima drags him by the shoulder.
“Don’t listen to him. He’s been in a mood since he found out he’s gonna be the next star of the Bachelor.” 
“You wanna die too, shitty hair!?” 
You and Denki burst out laughing at the absurdity of Katsuki forced to act like a gentleman on live TV. The image of Katsuki in a suit and tie, holding a rose and actually smiling, is comedic gold to you.
“C’mon, bro, let’s give ’em some space.” 
“Oi! You’re on my shit list now! All of you! Aye! Get the fuck off me!”
Kirishima drags Bakugou the rest of the way, giving you a quick thumbs up on the way out.
You and Denki are still cracking up, but your laughter dies when they leave, and you’re faced with the tension from before. Denki sinks lower into the sheets, hating that he keeps getting walked in on. Who decided it was ‘make a fool out of Denki day’ anyway?
“So…” you start.
“So…” Denki finishes. 
You both stare straight ahead at nothing. 
“Did you mean it?” 
You raise an eyebrow, clearly asking him to elaborate.
“What you said, when you... you know...” he makes a clicking noise with his mouth like that’s universal code for fucking, “Or was it just a heat of the moment thing?” 
You take a moment to think before you give your response. You want to be as honest as possible, and not lead Denki on in any way. Of course, you loved him, he’s your best friend, but did you love him? 
You think back on your friendship, and suddenly a supercut of all the times he was there for you flashes before your eyes. He was there when you needed someone to drive you when you had your wisdom teeth pulled out. You didn’t expect Denki to stay with you the whole weekend, buying you ice cream and watching your favorite movies, but he did. 
He was there when you and Bakugou became an item, always listening to you swoon over how amazing a boyfriend he was. Denki would always respond with “But can he do this?” and would proceed to overuse his quirk like an overpowered Pikachu just to make you laugh. It sends a knife through your heart, knowing Denki was in love with you while you were talking about how great of a boyfriend his friend was. Not to mention how he was there when you and Bakugou broke up, heart-broken and vowing to swear off boys for good. Denki held you in his arms while you cried, staying silent the entire time, which you knew was against his nature. Denki was always there for you as a friend. There’s no doubt he’d be there for you as a lover.
“I meant it,” you say.
Tears threaten to spill, and your heart might burst out of your chest and land right into his hands. You hope he holds on to it forever. He squishes your cheeks and leans down to plant the softest kiss on your lips. This is what you’ve been missing - more like who you’ve been missing. You open your mouth to deepen the kiss, and he meets you move for move. He pulls away, hands still on your cheeks, grazing your cheekbones with his fingertips as he stares into your eyes. 
“Denki, I…” You bite your lip, overcome with emotion. You desperately want to say the words to capture this picture-perfect moment forever. 
Until you feel something poking your thigh.
“Denki!” 
You yell, affronted he popped a boner in the middle of what was supposed to be a romantic moment.
“Sorry!”
“Ugh! Worst timing ever!” You slap his shoulder.
“Ow! I said I’m sorry!”
You wiggle out of his embrace. Silence eats at the room, and you can feel Denki’s energy radiating in uncomfortable frequencies. The last moment had been thoroughly ruined.
But you have all the time in the world to make more.
“... round two?” 
Just seeing Denki’s face light up like Christmas is enough to promise the birth of a new moment. He bends over to grab his box of condoms, some spilling on the floor and adding more to the mess, before saying, “hell yeah!”
You roll your eyes with affection. What a weirdo, you think. But he’s your weirdo.
That night, or rather the next day since it was currently three in the morning, Denki plops down on his bed exhausted from the day. He’s fluffing his pillow, trying to get comfortable, when he feels something underneath. His eyes widen when he takes in the picture he’s holding. You must’ve taken it when he was downstairs and snuck it under his pillow. You’re bent over with that same damn lacy bra that sends him for a loop. Your cleavage deliciously on display as you bite your lip and stare at the camera with those innocent eyes. Denki can’t help it, his hand sliding down on instinct and cupping himself through his boxers. He turns the picture around and smiles at the cute little message written on the back.
“To add to your collection 😉”
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Text
Super sexy aa7 ideas that will never happen
*puts on my clown shoes
Themes: “the worst times are when lawyers have to smile their brightest, but you can’t be a lawyer 24/7” “sometimes (esp now) the system is WRONG”
CASE 1
Klavier Gavin prosecutes, because society has progressed beyond needing Paynes
And if the widespread complaint is that he’s too nice, this position is perfect
Make a witty remark abt feeling demoted >:(
Athena and Trucy dream team girls
Murder took place at a theater/has something to do with acoustics, to ~fit the characters~
Maybe Lamiroir was there 👀
Phoenix is once again a witness, but hes less infuriating. But still fucking funny infuriating
He mentions his college degree, vaguely. Pressing him reveals nothing.
Also address that TRUCY AND KLAVIER PROBABLY HAVE SOME TRAUMA FROM MURDERS AT THEIR PERFORMANCES
Defend a rando
The twist: the murder only could’ve been committed by someone with superhuman hearing, so Athena’s senses are vital here!!
End: the culprit tries to psychologically fuck with everyone, but Athena stays strong, maybe uses some noise cancelling headphones, and corners the SHIT out of them
Also, there’s a new judge. A higher judge than your normal judge, who is a boomer. BOOMER JUDGE
Post-trial: a comment about all them missing Apollo…
CASE 2
Athena vs Franziska von Karma
Athena calls her out on the whipping if that’s still a thing
[Maybe Trucy is there again for extra spice,,,] but Solo Thena would be EPIC
NEW FRANZISKA DESIGN
Maybe we can bring Maya back here, but NOT ACCUSE HER FOR MURDER
Or accuse her at the scene but quickly disprove it
Idk also address her trauma
Wow this is turning into ATHENA CYKES- ACE THERAPIST
Put Simon there too because he’s hilarious
Maybe him and Maya are casually attending Comic-Con for the Steel Samurai panel
Defendant: some toxic celebrity with DRAMA
the twist: the murderer was targeting several high-profile ppl, but only killed like. A janitor instead. They aren’t found OR arrested, but you get a not guilty by… indicting their accomplice. And it HURTS but you have to or its your not-guilty kinda-a-dick client that gets guilty
New judge plays by the written rules, so u can’t ague ur case
Franziska is skeptical of the Accomplice’s guilt, but she lets the verdict go because your client is innocent.
Athena cries to Phoenix about how she feels like she fricked up b/c she empathizes with the accomplice but also everyone, Phoenix does his best dad comfort—this is the truth that’s allowed in the confines of their court system.
CASE 3
NARUMITSU DATE
Open with a call from Maya. She loudly thanks the god/the holy mother for this
MURDER!!! AT THE VENUE  
Kay and Sebastian are there
GUMSHOEEEEE (OLDER SPRITE??? Higher salary?? Maggey too?)
Classic Wright vs Edgeworth
All the options are flirty
Everything is an innuendo
Trucy co-council is embarrassed by ur Old Man Flirting (NEW SPRITES)
Lampshade conflict of interest what with dating opposing council. Gloss over it completely
Phoenix’s college degree is vaguely mentioned to be helping him. This is Not elaborated on
The murder is some crazy shit that basically parodies the whole series
TWO SETS OF EVIL TWINS
3 cross poisonings and with INTERESTING results of chemicals mixing (Ema: 👀)
All the dying messages were faked
Handedness contradiction.
Some gross old guy appears, but you can punch him
The murder weapon goes from bloody knife with defendants fingerprints on it to glass shards of a broken bottle to an icicle to an overly spikey piece of hair
EXTRATERRITORIAL RIGHTS
For extra funnies: BOOMER JUDGE IS NOT USED TO THIS. They are the straight person of this comedy clown case.
For extra feels (the twist): Phoenix actually has an emotional breakdown on one of the investigation days. Maybe Trucy gets put at risk again, or something with poisoning, or even something with Kay or Seb (to show how much Phoenix cares, in general) and we address all the shit that he’s gone thru
Awkward comforting by miles
HUG SPRITE/ART
CASE 4
(shoves Klavier into Khura’in) GO FAKEGERMANBOY GO
Play as Apollo (khura’inese clothes sprites)
KLAVIER CO-COUNCIL (CASUAL SPRITES?? Put his hair up in a bun capcom im begging)
ADRESS AA4
Maybe at the end of one investigation, theres just. A heartfelt talk.
Ok ill make it heavy (b/c if its lighthearted these fuckos will never talk about their feelings)
LAMIROIR IS HERE TOO??
TRUCY ALSO- im sorry truce im shoving you everywhere because I want you to develop
maybe she and Klavier are like, performer bros
Apollo is happy that Trucy is but also feels alienated, like AA6 totally pulled him from his AA4 roots [COUGH]
CASUAL TRUCY SPRITE??? I would cry capcom
Nahyuta, Rayfa, and Apollo being awkward but trying (and mostly succeeding) siblings, Amara being a scary but p good queen momther
FRANZISKA INTERNATIONAL PROSECUTING??? Idk it’d be epic tho
She roasts Klavier so bad
Though he is very smart so she just roasts his terrible German
Resolve the Gramarye siblings here?
Include something with gender dysphoria to contrast how they butchered Robin Newman???
This is huge headcanon territory here tho
The Twist: realizing that this case cannot POSSIBLY be resolved in 3 fucking days. Also that Apollo is so backlogged that hes stressed and he probably needs help
Also someone tries to frame Klavier with his Gavinners-brand shoeprints
End: answer yes/no to Klavier working at Justice Law Offices. The choice affects his dialogue with Apollo in 7-5
CASE 5
Some fuckin. International level scandal
Elaborate on whatever the fuck “the phantom” was spying for? btw is the same that the culprits froms 7-2 and 7-4. maaybe 7-1?
And it involves MORE AUDITORIUMS
Open w/ calling Trucy, whos in the states. She mentions that Klavier casually got a Japanifornian defense attorney badge. Cue exasperation/fondness/incredulity (I promise this is relevant)
In Khura’in
Starts small- like a robbery, which leads to an attempt on Thalassa’s life. Again
Athena gets to therapy her
Then someone high-profile actually fucking dies
Athena (co-council Apollo) vs FINAL BOSS FRANZISKA
Lots of investigating with them
Talk about space center and grief
The twist: a person with low emotional output is framed, but they are innocent because LOWER EMOTIONAL REACTIONS DOESN’T MAKE YOU FUCKING EVIL
The other twist: Bring in 7-2 framed person for a character witness, show that they’re innocent. Athena is panicking because of Fear(?) so Apollo is determined to Do Something, and points out how this only happened because the system is Stupid and calls Klavier and Trucy
BECAUSE:
At the same time, there’s a stateside investigation. some botched, continued interreference at the Space Station
Klavier can pull an Edgeworth and investigate with Trucy
With parently narumitsu
Klavier talks about Apollo a lot, Trucy calls him out on it
Nahyuta is prosecuting this case
Depending on the relations between Klavier and Nahyuta established in 7-4, this will be hilarious or disastrous
Protective Yuty route: makes scathing comments about petty parts of Klavier- a petty-off
Teasing Yuty route: brings it up whenever Klavier talks about Apollo. Rlly funny banter. Klavier showing more human emotions sprites!!
Revisit the Space Center and get emo. Simon is here, arguing with Nahyuta
Because the cases go to trial simultaneously, the comment about the wrong conviction in 7-2 can be brought to the Japanifornian courts by Klavier and Trucy
They argue that Athena was forced to do that to spare an innocent and press HARD for legal reform
They call in Chief Prosecutor Edgeworth for reforms??
They also start a twitter war (that can be investigation minigame) and get public opinion up abt it
Yuty vouches for change, w/ khura’in as evidence
SO AA4 CAN GET KINDA RESOLVED!!
DUNK ON BOOMER JUDGE
BONUS: CASE 6: TURNABOUT CHILLOUT
Phoenix vs Franziska
Larry time
Scruffy time
Idk man. No more international stuff, just good old fashioned cleaning up ur shitty dad’s messes amiright
Resolve things with the Shelly card?
oldbag cameo but you file a restraining order
help trucy and pearls with college
TLDR: Athena actually tracks an international conspiracy that has weight, the AJ gang once again changes the system, Phoenix gets emotional resolution, Franziska helps international stuff AND gets emotional resolution, and i finally stop trying to throw hands with capcom. 
421 notes · View notes
curious-menace · 3 years
Note
Can you do headcanons of any Riddler getting cared for and gentle kisses from reader after getting beat up? He needs some loves.
SO I MAY HAVE SUGGESTED THAT MY ULTIMATE FANTASY IS TO GIVE RIDDLER A HUG WITH BACKRUBS AS HE TELLS ME ABOUT HIS DAY AND I STAND BY THAT WHOLE-HEARTEDLY .
i freaking love this stuff so im going to do all of them mwahahah
post asswoop riddlers getting loves
Arkham riddler
He’s VERY quiet, which knowing him and his inability to stop talking, is  bad news.
I paint arkham riddler as a cry baby and i stand by that. this is the hill i will die on. He’ll have dragged his sorry ass into your apartment or house , dripping blood on your floors but he wont bother calling for you. he’ll just sit at the table with his head in his hands having a lil pity party until you find him.
when you do finally get home, he’ll be looking like a kicked puppy. he’s gotten stuck in his own head, mentally beating himself up even more. he got a fright when you came in because he was so caught up he didn't even hear you at the door.
He’s literally sits there like a child with his arms up for you to come scoop him up. he’s not even sure why his first thought after getting beat up was to come here, he’s probably lead the cops here or something and that was so stupid and- you should probably give him a lil soft smooch on the head to stop him before he goes into a spiral.
he needs more emotional and mental care than physical. Talk to him while you're patching him up. any topic, it doesn't matter just keep him focused on your voice and not the one in his head calling him dumb.
he wont admit he wants to be held and coddled after something like this. get your softest blankie and 2 mugs of coco with marshmallows and just ramble at him. tell him about your day or ask him to explain something boring and complicated so he’s focusing on that rather than how upset he is. let him sit on your lap or between your legs on the sofa and watch how its made or mythbusters or something until he falls asleep. he should be ok again in the morning, he doesnt stay down for long. 
Blacklight Riddler
He’s used to getting his ass kicked, either by batman, the other rogues or once he’s a PI, by unhappy clients and the people he put away. He might be tiny but he’s pretty tough. 
even if he’s really hurting, his probably trying to crack jokes and tell blood and bruise related riddles. He doesn't like to see you worry so even if he’s in a lot of pain or a bit upset about things, he’s trying to make you smile.
he likes kisses on his bruises. even if he just banged his hand on the table he’ll come to you because he wants you to kiss it better. 
He’s a decent fighter, unlike a lot of riddlers who couldnt fight their way out of a paper bag. He can throw punches but he lacks in defence and with his bad knee, dodging can be a little hard. even if he wins the fight he’s still likely to need you to patch him up.
He likes kids plasters. like hello kitty and spongebob. no im not joking, he ALWAYS wanted them when he was little and his parents always said no. now he’s an adult he’s going to use them whenever he damn well pleases.
 if it was a particularly bad one, he’ll be ok in the moment even if he has to go to hospital. But he’s going to drop the facade at some point and let you see how upset he is. winding up in hospital after being beat was a common occurrence in childhood. even after doing it time and time again as an adult it doesn't make it any easier on him. he’ll want to stay in your bed, be close to you for few days until either he starts to heal or something snaps him out of his funk.
BTAS Riddler
he really prefers other people to do the fighting for him. well physically anyway. he can handle his own arguments...most of the time. He’s going to need you to nurse a bruised ego more than anything. he probably got dunked on my batman or crane and now he’s huffing.
i don't know if this counts as care and kisses but he clearly needs you around to keep his sorry ass alive. he hurt his side in a fight once and said he wasn't hurt. believable... until he started to act a little confused, a little dizzy. needless to say it worried you enough to take him to emergency care. 
He was obviously in agony by now but he was still fighting with you the entire drive there, insulting you and insisting he was fine. its a good job you took him when he did, turns out he’d ruptured his spleen and would probably be dead if you weren’t around to act like his common sense.
he still hasnt apologised for that. or any of the other times you insisted on medical care to stop him from pushing up daisies. he just pretends like you know he’s grateful so he doenst have to admit he’s bullheaded, stubborn and worst of all, wrong. 
if he has been seriously hurt, he acts more indignant about it than anything. he wants to be waited on and pampered while resting in bed. he can be a genuine pain to deal with, talking about how lucky you are to see him in such a vulnerable state and how you should be grateful he’s letting you do this for him.
He doesn't want to admit how much he actually needs you. his goons wont put up with him when he’s like this and he’s freaking paying them to do it. you do it for free and no matter how annoying he is you havent left him yet. he doesn't tell you but youve noticed he starts getting you more gifts about a week after he’s recovered. like its taken him a day or two to work out he should probably thank you for all you do.
Original Riddler
this riddler is just weird. like he gets a freaking hang nail and he pretends like he’s dying. but he could nearly lose a limb and he’ll say “tis but a scratch” and still try to hobble about like nothing is wrong.
actually he’s more like olaf “oh look i've been impaled.”. he probably tries to laugh off life threatening injuries like its nothing, taking maybe 3 steps before he collapses on his face in a blood puddle and lets out a tiny “help”
good luck moving his tall lanky ass around. better get a gurney and maybe those vets at the zoo who deal with giraffes. seriously if you want to take care of him you are going to need help or some sort of action plan and a go bag because with his limp butt this will not be easy.
he’s kinda like BTAS riddler in that he needs you to tell him the injury is serious. hes not dumb he just has a high pain threshold and genuinely doesn't realise that injuries are as bad as they are. 
he can be a bit of a baby while being patched up. he doesn't like a lot of blood or gore, it makes him feel a little sicky. better give him your phone to play with like a kid at the doctors or put the tv on for him to watch while you bandage  him. word of warning, he will pass out or throw up if you try to give him stitches.
i think you should focus your love and attention on him AFTER medical care. just focus on the job, be silent and as fast as possible to get it over with quickly. you should probably bring him something sweet too. no not just you, although you are sweet for looking after him. give him something sugary because he’s going to be light headed after seeing any blood. maybe you could give him a lolly for being a good patient. 
Telltale riddler
this riddler is essentially a metahuman. he can REALLY take a beating and bounce back fairly quickly. just look how many times batman punched him in the face and it barely stunned him! he doesnt usually need patched up after a fight. maybe just a lil smooch and some hugs
he did really need your help after the whole pact thing. having his friends abandon him hurt like hell, more than any physical injury ever could.
after that, he clings to you. almost obsessively so; we know he’s got some serious mental illnesses but he usually has the worst of it under control, even without meds. now? it seems like he’s experiencing ptsd and is afraid to go anywhere without you, like you might up and disappear if you arent in his line of sight at all times.
i think this riddler might need the most intense care from you. hugs and gentle reassurance wont be enough. you’re going to be responsible for taking him to therapy, keeping him taking his meds and grounding him to reality. this is the kind of responsibility you took on when you got involved with him but i doubt you realised how hard it would be. i cant promise it will all be worth it but i can promise he wont ever forget your kindness.
the kind of care he needs after such a hard knocking down is just stability. im not one for romance or any mushy gushy stuff but please just pour your love into the cracks in this poor mans soul.
its hard going, but he has his moments. his gallows sense of humor is still there and hey, after him being in and out and gone for so long, it might be nice to have him around more.  
Zero year riddler
INSUFFERABLE LITTLE SHIT THIS ONE. he could LITERALLY be bleeding out in your arms and he’d STILL be backseat driving on your medical skills. the temptation to just leave him there to bleed is INCREDIBLE.
he’ll drop the act eventually. he’ll ask and maybe even beg for your help. man has  no shame and all the self preservation instincts of a lemming. dont get me wrong, he can be a total coward some times, only looking out for himself . but when he’s actually hurt ? not a fuckin clue. does this head wound need an ice pack or heat pack? is this spurring blood wound worthy of medical care? no idea. he was a very sheltered child who never got so much as a bruise so he has no idea what to do when he’s hurt.
he gets the everloving shit kicked out of him on a clockwork basis. like you could hear knocking on your door at 3 am and already be at the table with a first aid kit like oh its tuesday riddler must have broken his nose.
he takes entirely too much joy in making you patch him up. youre starting to wonder if he’s doing it on purpose just to see you in your little apron and latex gloves . he’s getting off on this and you know it but god help you, you just  cant resist his dumb face asking for your help and would you also wear this pink nurses outfit while youre at it?
one time he lost a LOT of blood. he would be fine but he was pretty damn loopy from lightheadedness. while you were trying to get him into bed to rest he started flirting with you. can you believe the audacity? he’s lost 3 pints of blood and he’s still more focus on his libido? 
he’s actually going to be both humble and grateful for your help when he finally comes round. dont get me wrong, he’s still a bit of a prick but at least he says thank you for saving him before he demands you kiss all his booboos and ouchies. 
nonnie i am having a stroke. i was trying SO hard to just pick one but i COULDNT because i am WEAK for hurt and comfort.
theres a reason i have a tag that literally says “i have naughty hands and no self control”
someone needs to stage an intervention
got something you wana talk about? send me an ask or a dm! im always game to talk about our favorite curious menace 💚💜
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scatterpatter · 2 years
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Some long-overdue rants about Dp/Dr
Man this post was years in the making. Most dpdr posts I make tend to be pretty lighthearted in nature mostly to cope and shit but like. It’s a disorder at the end of the day and boy howdy do I have some frustrations after coming out of one of my longest/worst spells I’ve had in a long time
cw for mental illness, dissociation, negativity(largely directed at the self), ptsd, etc etc etc, seriously you aint missing out by scrolling past I just want this out of my head and somewhere tangible
MAN FUCK DP/DR. ALL MY HOMIES HATE DP/DR.
I am. So fuckin sick of it. I am so god damn sick that my main response to trauma and stressors is to literally step outside of my own goddamn body and/or step into a distorted reality because my brain is that desperate to get out of this one, if only a short time
I’m so sick of how fucking invisible it is, and how invisible it makes me feel. I know it’s a good thing that I can act so much like myself that people don’t suspect a thing(or at worst, think I’m just tired or a lil sick), but also I just want to feel fucking sseeeeeeeen. It frustrates me to such a goddamn degree that sometimes I wish my abusers left physical scars, at least then someone, anyone, could see evidence of what i went through time after fucking time. And yesssss before anyone fuckin says it I know its not healthy to have wished for physical trauma on top of everything else but when a goddamn cycle of emotional abuse gets ingrained in you time after time after fuuuucking time, you kinda start to wish someone could see your struggle as more than just “Oh he’s ~sensitive~ haha what a baby.” And yessssss the whole point of it is so that I can socially blend in even when my mind has totally checked out, the point of it is to be invisible, but that doesnt make it any less frustrating
I’m so sick of having to rely on my dissociative spells as much as I do. I gave some of the different states I find myself in names, faces, hell even slight personality differences because Im just that desperate to be comforted even if it has to come from myself, to make the spells less scary, to put names and faces to what Im going through. I want to be grateful for them, after all in a sense I sort of made them and they’re only trying to protect me but I don’t want to need them. I don’t want to put someone who only vaguely resembles me into my body and in control over my words and actions, but I don’t exactly have a say in the manner and it’s comforting and frustrating all at once
I’m sick of the memory fog. I’m sick of having a memory of something mere hours ago but it feeling like weeks ago. My memories while dissociating make me feel like I was drunk and on the edge of blackout drunk- and people wonder why I avoid drinking most of the time. Time moves distortedly and I’m just tired of having to lay on the floor for what feels like 5 minutes only for 2 hours to pass. I’m tired of crying myself to sleep in the middle of an absolute breakdown, only to wake up the next morning an entirely different person, only vague recollections of that breakdown surfacing as if it were just a dream
I’m so so so sick of it getting harder and harder to tell the difference between my dreams, my intrusive thoughts, and reality
I’m fuckin sick of having to put a wall up before most social interactions. Having to either go into an interaction already-dissociating or having that dissociative spell on standby ready to go the second things go wrong because things always go wrong. Either I say something- even if its personal- and am just- wrong. In one way or another what Im doing is wrong and needs to be corrected. It’s either that, or it’s me saying something stupid and getting laughed at/made fun of because ~Haha Scatter always says something stupid and funny~, or it’s me saying something that gets taken in such the opposite manner in which I meant to say something that I’m left there in that empty shell of my projection of self just wondering how I’m being so misinterpreted- do I really come across as that vicious and vile as a person? Everyone always agrees so it must be true but what is it that I do thats so different from everyone else that I’m always seen as this bad??? It’s. Always. Something. I can’t remember the last social interaction I’ve had where at least one person doesn’t call me out for doing something wrong. And it’s. So. Tiring. To be in a position where no matter what I do it’s always wrong in one way or another but I have no choice but to put Damien behind the wheel and just take it because who am I to say that they’re wrong? I cant remember the last time any of my friends have seen the real me, so who am I to say that isnt who I am. That’s not even me. It’s just a projection of myself that acts in a way I think people will like but in one way or another I always get it wrong and it’s always so quick and so sudden to be told how wrong I always am.
I’m sick of Roy being right. I’m so sick of his logic that, the less we talk to people, the less they make fun of us. And then I go into an interaction where speaking or even typing is so physically hard. Where I feel so incredibly muted. But at the end of the day I come out of that interaction and all I can think of was how right Roy was. It doesn’t stop entirely, but it does lessen the amount of times people call me out or make fun of me and it only incentivizes him to take that approach more and more often. It’s confirmation bias and I haaaate that. I’m so sick that I have a game I call “How long can I not engage with someone telling me how awful I am before they finally drop it” and not only is it a game I have to play more often than I like to admit but it’s a game that works.
I’m sick of Damien stepping in to take the emotional blow. But of course he would, why wouldn’t he??? It’s so, so much easier to take everything thrown at you when it’s not you anymore. They’re not making fun of me anymore, they’re making fun of someone who’s not here. Someone who’s not me. I know my new years resolution was to feel like a real person again but its so, so hard to actively work towards that goal when it’s so, so, so much easier to not be a person
I’m sick of Hyde stepping in to try and be me to the best of his ability but at the end of the day, he’s acting like nothing’s wrong just as much as I am. It’s frustrating that when he speaks, it’s often not even fully in my dialogue, there’s usually some vocal quirk or something in there and it scares me because I don’t want people to notice. It’s like cracks in ice, cracks in my facade, and it risks shattering if someone draws too much attention to it. But he can’t be a perfect replica of me, and I can’t fault him for that. How is anyone supposed to do a perfect impression of someone who’s happy, who’s always there to be that emotional support, who’s the strong one, if the real one is busing having a panic attack or just shutting down entirely???
I’m just tired of looking in the mirror and seeing a face I should recognize but I don’t
I’m just so. Fucking. Tired.
I’m not even tired of having dp/dr honestly. I’m just tired at how much im required to use it. My abusers are long gone, I havent seen any of them in years, they’re not here to hurt me anymore, I shouldnt need these coping mechanisms anymore, but I just. Keep finding myself in situation after situation where the cycle has to continue and I just keep needing my dissociative spells. Even if they’re not here anymore, constant situations occur that reinforces everything they did to me and it just. It just frustrates me that something so invisible is what keeps me alive, and it’s endlessly tiring.
And it’s not like I’m not trying! It’s not like I’m not trying to be a better person, and trying to actually love myself and see the value in myself after so many years of being told time and time again the opposite, but it’s just an uphill battle and it’s hard and it’s tiring. And I want to believe when someone tells me I’m loved by my loved ones, but like... honestly it’s just. Hard to believe that when not only is every interaction negative towards me in one way or another, but the person they’ve come to recognize as “me” isn’t even me. And if that ghost of me is as horrible as I’m always told they are, imagine what they’d do if they saw the actual me.
I just wanna throw up tbh
Can you tell this post went from angry to just. Tired??? Idk man if you’ve made it this far then thanks for sticking around. I just. Had a spell that lasted nearly the entire holiday weekend and it ended in an absolute breakdown that I barely even remember, which i guess is for the better. Im just tired of dp/dr being as needed as it is for me. Idk. Bottom text.
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garrothromeave · 3 years
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the hell is mystreet season 6??
(warning, long post ahead)
ok so before i start this
1) ive never posted shiiiit on tumblr before so watch me suffer, im just here to talk about stuff that my friends who dont know anything about aphmau have to listen to me rant about for hours on end
2) i havent seen mystreet in like years (except season 3, i watch that frequently since im laurance and shadow knight deprived) so please bear with me because i might be completely wrong on this lol. it’s just like, pointing out things i remember
3) im sure someones already talked about this but who cares
4) im gonna do this stupid thing where i just explain myself a bit at first, if you dont want to read that just skip to the part where you see “the actual thingy:” in bold and italics 
5) mild disclaimer; i am completely aware that jessica is not a professional writer. i know that she did her best to appeal to her fans, and honestly, respect for that. while this post will come off as aggressive and probably look like hate, that’s not my intention in the slightest. it’s just... intense criticism. im sure y’all probably already know that, but yeah, just stating that anyways. i do believe that jess is doing her best, and in no way do i want to dismiss any hard work she’s done. that being said; prepare for a very strongly opinionated post.
haha watch there be 10000+ typos in this making me look like a complete dumbass
ok here we go 
one of the main reasons i stopped watching aphmau back in 2017 was the mess that was season 4. like, in the first few episodes of the emerald secret, i thought “woah!! this is kinda cool, im a sucker for mystery!” because of course i was, it was something new and something exciting. the only problem i had with it at the time was kim, but that’s just because i always found her annoying and out of place. i just didn’t understand why garroth dragged her along and honestly i still don’t to this day BUT, moving on.
anyways, as the season progressed, 13 year old me was of course just “:0!!” the entire time--that is, up until the reveal of the main villain. i remember watching the episode, seeing the reveal of ein, and then stopping. like, just for a quick break, but i was still just overwhelmingly disappointed. like, and this was the time when pdh was airing and ein just got made alpha (i think?) and i had really really liked eins character in pdh. either way, that really sucked and actually opened my eyes to a lot of things.
one of the main things bein’ the fact that this was supposed to be a slice of life kinda series that decided to take a turn to a more edgy kinda approach. which, i guess i regularly wouldnt mind? but seeing as mcd was kinda bein neglected at the time it just didnt sit right with me. BUT WHATEVER, point is i stopped watching mystreet all together at the end of season 4.
like, a whole year later my brother tells me that shit’s getting intense in season 5 + 6 of mystreet, and my brilliant self decided to give it a shot--but i refused to watch all of season 5, so i only stepped in when ein made an appearance. so whenever that was, that’s where i picked up because i didnt care enough to see 
and y’know--i honestly didn’t hate it at first. in fact, i found it oddly cool. it wasn’t enough to get me into aphmau again, but it was enough to where i was intrigued. i dont know why, but i never watched the finale, so i didnt see the ending until just a few weeks ago--but back then, i thought it was neat. looking back on it however... im just so confused. 
side note: only got back into aphmau this time around because of mcd. mainly because like, i adore the first season and the first half of the second season. and being nearly 18 now, im a lot more appreciative of plot and well-written characters n junk. 
the actual thingy:
ok back on track. imma stop spilling out my story of how i got back into aphmau, and lets just skip to what rewatching mcd made me realize of season 6′s plot and shit:
-emmalyn. how the fuck does ghost even remotely exist? if she’s emmalyn as claimed, then why have we already seen emmalyn in the mystreet universe alive? look i get that creators can do whatever they want with their stories but at the same time please provide some sort of explanation good god. and maybe they did and i just havent seen it, so if there is one--let me know. but until that day imma just sit here confused as fuck
-ok so imma just be real, the whole ‘ultima’ thing is just... not great. in my opinion, anyways. like... i saw someone mention this in another post, but if this ultima stuff was like, a really big deal, why isnt it mentioned in mcd? though i suppose since its a curse of sorts, it could be later on past the time period in which mcd takes place--but even then, how did it manage to make its way into aaron’s family bloodline? 
-WHY IS EVERYONE AT STARLIGHT ITS JUST SO CONVINIENT like what happened to this place being the most expensive shit on the planet or whatever, and how the gang happens to run into like, the werewolf trio and blaze and kai and guy and nate all of these people like god damn life doesnt WORK LIKE THAT 
-im sorry but turning people into relics? thats... thats the best you could come up with? plus, like, how does that even work? in mcd it’s established that relics are separate entitles that choose their wielder, based on a ‘personal’ connection (being a descendent of a previous wielder) or if they’re a good match personality and (i think?) moral wise. so the whole turning-people-into-relics doesnt make much sense to be honest. 
-irene really over here using her god powers to only keep her friends alive like god damn not a great god if you ask me 
-can i talk about how incredibly predictable aphmaus death was? like i just kinda sat there waiting for it to happen and when it did i literally went “haha! wonder when she’ll be revived” because god forbid we actually kill off characters 
-when aphmau + demon warlock fought in the irene dimension there was no passage of time whatsoever in the real world whiiiiiiiiich really bothers me because they fought in there for at least a few minutes
-speaking of aphmau and the demon warlocks fight does it bother anyone else that it had to be aaron who took over the fight?? like we get it hes the big protector blah blah blah but god damn it wouldve been cooler if aphmau had fought this battle as her. aaron fighting this battle was so underwhelming
-...love. like, thats the only thing thats needed to break out of a forever potion? love? LIKE YEAH, GOOD GUYS GOTTA WIN SOMEHOW, but its just so cliche and overdoneeee
-oh yeah and also when travis went bonkers and became the demon warlock or whatever, why’d he only take over katelyn and garroth?? like, zane had been influenced by the potions in the past as well? DONT GET ME WRONG--i do love some good brother edge, but uh, the demon warlock was just bein kinda a dumbass by not possessing zane too just sayin’
-can aaron please go to fucking jail for mass murder now like holy shit, he just got sent home on a fuckin boat. also why did blaze forgive him for killing him thats not even remotely realistic. then again, nothing in mystreet has ever been realistic when it comes to characters and motives and personalities, (cough katelyn being actually abusive and travis being an actual pervert) but yknow whatever
-katelyn and kawaii chan literally added nothing to the plot whatsoever. like lets be real, katelyn lost her personality the moment season 5 started and kawaii chan just kinda sits there :I
-ok im sorry this was bound to come up but cmon guys imagine laurances potential if he was in season 6 like god damn this is beyond maddening. AND YOU KNOW WHAT WOULD HAVE BEEN A REALLY REALLY COOL PARRALLEL?? IF IT WAS LAURANCE WHO SNAPPED GARROTH OUT OF HIS MIND CONTROL THING, because it would mimic laurance’s speech to get garroth to snap out of his rage in season 1, episode 100 of minecraft diaries. like how fuckin rad would that have been? missed opportunity 
-also?? why does kim/ghost know magicks?? like, if i remember correctly, emmalyn is a scholar--not someone who knew magicks. i mean, i guess research? study?? but its been established that knowing how magicks works =/= being able to use magicks. i dunno, just doesnt seem right i guess. maybe its explained, i wouldnt know (yes i know that makes me look like a dick leave me alone)
-melissa should have stayed dead. LIKE, NO, ITS NOT AS SIMPLE AS “haha it takes more than a few bullets to kill me”??? look ive got nothing wrong with melissa (cough lie cough) but yknow it would have just been cool a character... stay dead? for once? its just too fuckin cliche that shes alive god damn
-can i also just say the only good thing that came out of season 6 was travis’ dads sacrifice like damn that made me actually sad
-howww was lucinda turned into a relic. or yknow, anyone else? like im sure they explain it better in the actual show i just dont remember, but its just that easy? turning anyone into a relic? granted, a normal person wouldnt be able to produce a good relic, but idk man. IM JUST SAYING; that the only really powerful relics that aphmau should have been able to wield is the one that aaron + zane produced because shad relic and esmund relic moment. lucinda isnt even like, connected to a divine warrior. ALSO, another point, if its seriously that powerful of a relic getting one from just a magic user like lucinda, why go through the trouble? i mean i guess ofc youd want the “all powerful” one that the ultima produces but i mean damn whats the point
-ok this is just going to bother me but in one of the episodes (i think might have been in season 5 actually) where that like, guardian dude was chasing aphmau and zane and at one point they split up and the dude just chuckles at zane diverting paths and goes under his breath “youre not the important one here”, suggesting that aphmau somehow is? first of all, id argue that any ro’meave is significantly more important than aphmau was, especially not knowing much about her other than that shes with aaron. i might be missing some bits an pieces, but if i was that dude id forget about aphmau and go after zane 
-killing off derek for shock factor sucked, and i know the moment was supposed to be really sad because like “oh :( aarons dad is sacrificing himself for his son” but lets be real dereks still was a shitty father and i dont think his reasons for doing what he did was very good at all
-less about plot or more like: why the absolute fuck did the gang bring kim along instead of, oh i dont know, a life-long friend? like, laurance or dante maybe?? im sure its explained, i never saw aphmaus year or most of season 5, but god DAMN id hate to be apart of this friend group AND GOD LIKE, imagine reconnecting with an old friend who ends up getting closer to your best friends and taking priority in their lives over you (cough laurance) like god damn lol
-im just going to preface this one with: i dont remember everything that’s happened, so if im wrong i apologize in advance--but (you actually can correct me if im wrong and please do) didnt like, irene reincarnate her friends in order to give them better lives? I DONT KNOW IF THIS IS TRUE, ITS JUST WHAT I REMEMBER--however, if im correct, then:
a. why the hell would she bring back someone like zane, or gene, or ivy, etc.
b. why the hell do they all have the same exact names? first and last? again, im aware that the whole mystreet+mcd tie wasn’t originally supposed to be there, but i dont think that means such a coincidence can be excused? its just a bit much if you ask me.
c. why the hell is the fact that (as much as i literally hate this) aaron is a decedent of shad being ignored? like, you’d think that something like this would be something thats actually important, or something the demon warlock couldve taken advantage of. or are we completely erasing every other connections to divine warriors besides aphmau + irene? because even if irene did reincarnate them or do whatever it is she did, does she even have the power to sever the connections between them and their ancestors? my guess is, no.
d. speaking of irene why on earth was aphmau able to talk to/see irene, they’re literally the same person are they not? did she like, fuckin reincarnate herself without actually doing it?? BUT--i will give it to them, the demon warlock did refer to aphmau as something along the lines of being “one of the 3 parts of her broken soul” or something like that. however, my point still remains. also what are the other two did i miss that or is it never explained
now; if irene in fact did not ‘reincarnate’ her friends then please ignore that little bit right there :)
but yes, those are a few of the problems i have with season 6 off the top of my head. i would go into like, season 4 and 5 more as well, but i honestly didnt feel like it. at some point i might go into other things, like how important laurance could have been to the plot of these later seasons, or HELL, even dante. i might also go into what could have made season 4, 5, and 6 actually good--maybe... a rewrite? perhaps? but im getting too far ahead of myself, so i just leave you with this for now.
and i know that as soon as i post this 15 more things are just going to pop into my head BUT im going to try and not edit this post because why stress myself with that even more
anyways thank you for coming to my tedtalk 
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arhvste · 4 years
Note
Okay bear with me but may I request scenarios where kuroo, bokuto, and atsumu are doing the “He got all the drugs and I got all the guns” tik tok trend with their s/o (separately) and like they are wearing the whole shebang heels, dresses, crop tops, makeup, wigs ,etc that’s only if you want to of course n e ways have an awesome day🤩
OMG ARE U A MIND READER I’VE BEEN THINKING ABOUT THIS AND SPECIFICALLY THESE BOYS DOING THIS TREND FOR WEEKS 🤯
just in case you didn’t know i’m referencing this trend 😼
KUROO, BOKUTO AND ATSUMU DOING THE FAMOUS (I’M THE ONE) TIKTOK TREND WITH THEIR S/O
-
KUROO
when you first show him the trend on tiktok he just laughs 
then you suggest the two of you doing it and he goes quiet
he’s really thinking about it 
he secretly is more than happy to do it with you 
but he’ll find out how far he can tease you first
“and what do i get out of doing this?”
“spending quality time with the love of your life duh”
“it’s gonna take a bigger reward than that for the expense of me making a fool of myself online princess”
“PS5?”
then he’s like 👀
he wasn't expecting an actual good reward but if that’s what you’re willing to do for it 
he won’t actually make you buy one for him don't worry
he’s just amused that you’re that adamant about doing it 
he will absolutely let you pick out what clothes of his you want to wear
you’ll pick out what he wears from your wardrobe though because he is not about to stretch your cute clothes with his big body
you end up giving him an elasticated crop top and some loose baggy sweatpants
he will 100% let you do his make up and hold accessories
he is stunning with a natural make up look
a pretty highlight to his cheekbones, bridge and tip of his nose, inner corners of the eye and brow bone
light pink blush on his cheeks and nose
slim eyeliner and a light pink natural lip colour
he actually suggested wearing super obnoxious fake eyelashes 
“i am NOT having you look like a tacky abg kuroo”
“but then we can say you’re a kevin nguyen, it fits”
‘nO!!” 
to finish the look he’s holding a white clutch bag of yours 
he almost looks seductive 👁👅👁
he actually looks so good in your outfit
“i think i pull this off better than you”
you’re wearing some training shorts, one of his favourite t shirts and a black nike cap 
so you set your phone up and the music starts to play
immediately you two are in fits of giggles though 
it takes you two approximately 8 attempts to finally get it right 
and when you watch it back you’re in for a shock
kuroo can throw it BACK
he doesn’t even have a particularly noticeable ass 
like he has one but it’s nothing like bokuto’s
but when he throws it back his ass is thicccccc
even he’s surprised at how well he pulls it off
he pulls the whole routine off
from the way his hips seductively sway, the pure sass in his walk as he struts into the camera frame and the way he rolls his body
honestly you think he makes a better girl than you
“good aren’t i? god i could almost date myself”
“yeah if you’re into 6″2 hairy girls with a hyena laugh” 
he’s looking down at his very manly and unshaven legs
“let me shave it and i’d date myself”
you guys upload it and you’re a hit 
“let’s move to LA right now tell the hype house they’ve got two new members joining”
“kuroo, i am NOT joining the hype house and neither are you. 😐”
overall i really think you guys would have fun with this trend and kuroo makes sure to send the video to both of your families who enjoy watching it as much as you guys enjoyed making it 
“the roles have reversed i’m your pretty girl now y/n~”
-
BOKUTO
he’s the one who brings it up to you
“babe look at this we HAVE to try it please please please!”
you laugh at him and agree to it 
he is so excited he already knows what choreography he is doing
you guys go to get changed and he lets you pick whatever you want out of his wardrobe 
this boy is pure muscle he is huge 
anything of his you wear will be like a dress on you
regardless you still take your time deciding what you want to wear
PLEASE pick his volleyball jersey and shorts he will literally cry from happiness
it would make his whole year 
so you do just that 
he is literally melting at the sight of you in his volleyball uniform
“BABY YOU HAVE TO WEAR THAT TO ALL MY MATCHES”
“-but you’ll be wearing it... at your matches... when you play 👁👄👁”
so bokuto will not be fitting into your tight fitting clothes that's for sure
but he will happen to fit into one of your cute flirty sundresses where the top half is made to be able to adjust the size
he is twirling around and flicking the skirt about once you manage to wrangle him in it 
he’s like a giddy school girl
again, he will definitely be up for you to apply make up on him
nothing too heavy but just enough so you can tell he’s wearing some
pretty light yellow eyeshadow, highlighted features and faded eyeliner
you pull his hair into two tight little buns
he’s really feeling the part now
so you guys go to film the tiktok and he is jumping around like an excited kid
you manage to film your parts pretty well first try but he isnt too happy with his performance
“i don't know i just feel like i could’ve thrown it back a bit more”
so you refilm until he is content with his part
which by the way is after 14 tries so thank the lords you are patient when it comes to him
it is so worth it though
the practices paid tf off because bokuto is throwing his cake about like nobodies business
he be serving a piece for everyone fr 
immediately after you film it he wants to show akaashi 
to which akaashi isn't surprised when he watches it 
he does snicker at his phone when he does watch it though
neither you or bokuto really care about views etc 
this was all just for fun after all but you upload it anyway not giving it much thought
and just like that the two of you are an overnight sensation
comments are flooding the notifications 
“his ass routine? drop it noW!!”
“what's his work out routine i need cake like his 😩😩”
“my boyfriend said he has a fatter ass than me so im currently crying 😔🤚🏽”
the nekoma, fukurodani and karasuno boys are BUGGIN tf out 
they're all calling you and sending you the video for confirmation that it is actually you two 
it’s not like bokuto is hard to tell apart but they still want your confirmation 
“REMEMBER ME WHEN YOU’RE FAMOUS BOKUTO-SAN!!”
“OF COURSE HINATA WHEN WE’RE RICH WE’LL ADOPT YOU CAN LET YOU MOVE INTO OUR TIKTOK MANSION!”
he is SUCH a child but he’s the man child you fell in love with
needless to say this video will be played at the wedding and anniversaries to come 
-
ATSUMU
atsumu is constantly irritating you to be one of those tiktok couples with him
he’s convinced the two of you were made for the tiktok lifestyle 
everytime you roll your eyes and decline 
but you decide to give him the opportunity when a certain trend catches your eye 
“baby, when i said i wanted to be tiktok famous i meant like the dances n cute videos where people compliment us n call us hot. this aint it chief”
“fine then, guess i’ll ask samu”
he doesn't even give u the chance to get up after you say that
“no nO I”LL DO IT 😠”
he is reluctant at first 
ideally he wanted to make the tiktoks where you’re the one throwing it back on him not vice versa
anything to make you happy though i guess
he will pick out both of your outfits
if he’s going to do this tiktok, the least he’s going to make sure of is that you both fit his aesthetic 
so you’re wearing typical clothes he’d wear to the gym
his gym clothes are actually stylish though
you will NOT catch atsumu wearing anything ugly that includes gym clothes
unlike a certain other setter who thought wearing plaid shorts was acceptable cough cough oikawa
he chooses to wear a tight dress 
it’s stretchy though so don’t worry he isn't stretching out and ruining your clothes 
“why are you wearing that? you can see a little too much there ratsumu”
“uh so people can see you have a boyfriend that's obviously packin heat 🙄”
“i hate you 😀”
he is hesitant about wearing make up
but you explain to him since you’re doing it you might aswell go all out so he finally gives in
you won’t put a lot on him though just to compromise with him slightly 
light highlight, blended out eyeliner, natural lip colour 
he’s surprisingly impressed and pulls out his phone to take a few selfies before getting ready to film the ‘stupid’ video with you
he insists he doesn't need to practice
“im good at everythin’ i do and everyone is gonna see that when we film this shit”
surprisingly it does only take you guys one attempt to get it right
atsumu is good at body rolls periodt  
he can throw it back 
but his body rolls chileee
he looks flexible asf 
he is serving absolute attitude 
you also did take notice of him using one hand to slyly cover his private area out of modesty though
because he found you were in fact right about how that dress really did show everything 
he incorporates it well into his choreography though nobody would be able to tell he was trying to cover himself 
“baby we look so fuckin hot. im talkin more bout me but you’re still sexy too”
he adds so many hashtags to the caption
#couple #hot #imhotter #fyp #foryoupage #tiktokcouple #couplegoals #hotboy #sexyboy #hotathlete #attractivemale #eboy #trending #makeusfamous
you just roll your eyes and let him get on with it 
im so sorry but you guys don’t get many views
atsumu is pissed
“we put so much effort in why’s it not gettin attention?!”
“calm down babe we only posted it 2 minutes ago”
give it a few days and you guys do blow up though 
im talking 867K likes
and to atsumu’s delight the comments are mostly complimenting you both 
“told ya this was a good idea”
“it was my idea?? 😐”
-
requests are open!!
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misterbitches · 3 years
Text
i had the misfortune of finally watching/getting through what happened in whatever episode where he gets raped so im gonna talk about it and tag it cos that's what a bitch fuckin feels like, got it? i do what i want aint no limit bad ass bitch aint never been timid. woopsie realized i got the nicknames confused oh well lmao
it's just logistically and plot wise like there's literal plot holes in this and i'm taking the production and set-up into account along with the actual content and development. im an ARTIST OKAY im jk i mean i am and i am pretentious and terrible but look. i didnt get that degree and im not in a house worth of debt for nothing ok. it's called writing on tumblr about my grievances of shows that dont matter and do not respect me as a fat black american woman either so it is my fault yet here i am.
anyway it was worse than i imagined and their talk after (with chengren) was even worse. that's what i mean about making the lines their own (the actors) bc teng teng sounded like a straight up motherfucking moron and im like
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bECAUSE IT'S HIM EVEN THO IM LIKE WHAT THE FUCK DID U JUST SAY U STUPID BITCH? but then it's like awwww and they also care about his wellbeing obviously??? but no? but it's like ok still teng teng said it even if it's stupid because he is a character and charles puts that forth. the people that fail the most to do that are xing si's family but that's not the actors fault because it's the literal material. you're like wait what but you just said...?
so i know they have no script editors i guess i think i find this season ACTUALLY fascinating because of just how egregious it is. i also went back and watched history: obsessed which i thought i liked because of their chemistry even though god the production....but i tried rewatching it and i was like wow this is worse than i remembered and the production issues were even worse because some of the music was SO LOUD AND BAD HOLY FUCK and their whole rship isssssss a sight to behold lmao
so man i guess it really is the power of anson/charles. which is good cos we love to see it...sort of but also a lot.
i honestly....because i've been able to pay attn more to the aftermath of the rape going back and putting it into more context and focusing (just barely lmao) is hm even worse. the inconsistencies are insane. it's not even just about the act but the writers have zero idea where they are going because they have no interest in exploring it. but the way in which it happens is like fascinating. yong jie literally thinks he owns xing si and it doesn't matter if he was kissing him or not or asked for a kiss on the lips (which dude what the fuck? i'll get to that) because he was plied with "extremely strong drinks" and his mom knew about it....which girl congrats you're an accomplice to the rape of your son by your other son?
but first of all...the kissing thing. in what fucking world would he (xing si) want that unless he thought he (yong jie) was someone else. i can't say their attraction is evident because we are being lead by this team to think so; they create this false sense of sensuality already so to me that signifies that they never intended for them to have a bond as brothers. it just feels cheap and fucking lazy (which it is.) even if he did, which doesn't make sense considering the context THEY CONSTRUCTED, it wouldn't matter because he was so fucking drunk which.... at that point nothing is fun, you feel sick, who wants sex like that? does he not have whiskey dick? did they have a condom? was it not painful for him considering? even if this was something to easily get over like was the dick good? it couldn't have been. and then, on top of that, there's the fact that you can change your mind or whatever but also that people do get aroused in these situations bc it is human nature (that's if they can literally get aroused which if the drinks were allegedly sooooo strong that nigga would be out so....again like even practically here it doesnt add up. have these people ever been drunk? if not, write what you know girl. cos sometimes it's like i think some of u r trying to be cool when u dont have 2 b lmao)
so yong jie coming on to him previously may be seen as like push-and-pull but here's the thing. right after it happens (the rape and it's rape so call it that you'll be okay) xing si gets up and goes home and is terrified and upset. he acts like what we have seen or even felt after a violation. he's scared, clutching his bag, it's like...you know...decently coming off as truly distressing (the actor isn't bad at all and i like that he's dark. i just massively hate this for him but hey at least he can show some chops.) like honestly man that fucking sucks and hurts to see. if we've been there we feel it. or part of it is realizing belatedly what happened. a lot of times that drop in your stomach is the worst.
but somehow for some reason, to which i cannot understand, the three of them begin to talk as if xing si pressured him? which maybe i missed something and that is possible—dont feel like going back to look—but that also made no sense. like what kind of false memory is this? why would he think he wasn't willing? and if he thought yong jie wasn't and that he pressured him how does he remember like...anything about the sex?!?!??!? besides waking up and being with him. like i guess he felt yong jie's MASSIVE DONG imprint but ??!?!?!?!??!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!??!?!?!?!??!? MAKE IT MAKE SENSE!!!!!
god then the logic of the top/bottom thing is like i said i wasnt going to get into it but it's actually really funny. this whole thing was hilarious. honestly because I DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHAT THAT MEANS. he could have totally raped him in that way but how did you get to this CONCLUSION FROM THAT??????? BY YOUR LOGIC THAT'S NOT HOW IT WORKS? IF HE IS THE BOTTOM AND PENETRATION IS THE ONLY FORM OF TRUE CONSUMMATION AND RAPE BECAUSE APPARENTLY, BASED ON ANATOMY, IF YOU HAVE A DICK IN UR BUTT UR A GIRL THEN HOW. DOES. THIS. MAKE. SENSE. AND THEN
AND THEN
AND THEN
AND THEN
this whole stupid conversation happens so we get to the conclusion that xing si violated him ok cool but that means that something is wrong. that is the CONCLUSION WE CAME TO A SECOND AGO?
also the other rapist is a villain and muren isn't in love with him so, once again, you're breaking the rules of your own world about acceptability which is why most of this is absolutely mind bogggglinG that iit's fuckign comical. like i actually when i can stomach it start laughing or my jaw is slack because it's so insulting as a viewer because there is like 0 logical followthrough.
because whatshisface barges in, kisses him in front of his friends without permission, then says whether you were willing or not which is hm. at that point how u gonna change that around but let's not bother with logic here. i am simply here to point out how this makes no sense according to the rules they set up even outside of the basic rule of life which is hm dont rape people maybe.
so now we know xing si was raped, they believe he was raped, he himself believes he was raped, and whatshisface literally says he doesn't care even if he was willing (he wasn't) so he admits to rape. i don't believe in the police and i hate them (BL industry needs the cops but dont get me down that road) but no one...thought to go?
because according to history 4 logic nothing matters so im sure if he went to the police you could handwave the homophobia since there's no actual context for anything besides their whimsy. but they dont want to do that because they aren't interested in an arc of growth; redemption isn't possible unless he is removed from the family but again no work on thinking this through or thinking about the victim's feelings. because gay sex? who fucking knows. supposedly progressive taiwanese writers of gay shit (like how supposedly progressive the world is. as in it is not and this behavior is the norm and bl perpetuates that) can't think of transformative justice?
and then they gave bad advice so we wont acknowledge that because teng teng doing anything wrong/stupid is frequent but hurts me and also that storyline is not real so i pretend they are not there outside of this post
so all of this is just straihgt up clownery now because it's fucking absurd like logically, practically, human-wise. the kissing thing is inconsequential but it was such a lazy cheap way out lmao cos they really wanted it to seem consensual but that's not how it works. on top of that their attraction makes no sense because whatshisface is just there. he is just there. he's nothing and no one so the sentiments are even more empty and on top of that he doesnt listen to a single request fucking obviously because the basis of their relationship is fucking rape so fucking listening and respecting his partner is not on his list of fucking priorities. he's literally so fucking annoying even without being a rapist it's like someone please beat his ass.
and then after all of that you want us to feel bad? with your horrible writing, poorly misplaced music, stupid costumes (those fucking SHOES THEY ARE HIDEOUS, AND MOST OF THIER CLOTHES DO NOT FIT IT'S LIKE WHY), questionable fucking editing. we're supposed to wnat them together? this sounds literally fucking crazy but bear with me lmao even with the rape they could at least have SOMETHING i mean like i cant believe im fucking saaying this. but like in addicted heroin which is fuckin tragic and awful at least there's a MODICUM of interest but honestly that show s a fucknig drag. idk they lookd good together? here we have 0. nothing. and it doesnt motivate. watching obsessed again i can see why i liked it in the beginning bc they have good chemistry but the acting and production adn like everything about it plus the rape-y vibes it's just too much. you need to pick one thing so if you're going to be a shit writer at least supplement it with something. this thing is nothing.
and even more nonsensical and what boggles my mind frankly out of all this is the mother's involvement and the father's final response. there are NO consequences? theyre all happy?
ok so lets go through this:
1. 2 boys grow up 2gether, one of the boys is fucking psycho, the mother knows but does nothing??????????????
2. one of the sons moves out so his father doesn't get a hint that's he's fucking gay. ok fine. he has 2 best friends, a job, an apt. he is fine.
3. aforementioned brother is obsessed with him for SOME REASON besides being crazy?
3.5 no one has done anything during him growing up to help him not be crazy?
4. mom says to husband who is their father also just in case we forget "im afraid he will lose his humanity"
4.5 again, do nothing. 0. just like oh man hes crazy. guess that's just our son ;)
4. who cares. plies him with alcohol purposefully to rape him. not even dubious (even though dubious is fucked and not okay or is just not. fucking real. these shows are contextless when they want to be or even movies or whatever so it's like largely not up to the task to understand complexity in human rships and then oversimplifies it constantly because that's what we do IRL. but people have fucking feelings you know and we realize when things don't feel good or right to us either very quickly after or having to process it. and once you're eyes are opened you may feel as something was fucking ripped away from you. for the modc couple this would be a very logical conclusion for the high schooler the thirty year old dated but again logic or feelings are up to their whimsy. no one cares bc everything can be counted as dubious so honestly it's a fucking stupid fucking topic like again why are we litigating what is and isnt consent when you could just like idk. read cues? consent? wait? not be a freak? like we all know what is proper human shit so even if we are watching this uncritically which u cant bc it's glaring and stupid it's just even more dumb) so it was honestly a rape plot like he literally planned it soooooooooo??!?!
5. aftermath of rape the victim is like literally fucking bereft and confused. and a rape victim. like that's what they are insinuating and what also he is to be clear.
6. boy tells him "idc if i raped u i luv u lmao"
7. mom ENCOURAGED THE BOY to get him drunk because her other son was too nice? she encouraged her adult son to rape her adult step-son (but her real son because she repeatedly says you are my son and the dad does too THEY GREW UP TOGETHER WHEN THE KID WAS IN AN IMPRESSIONABLE STATE) so THIS ALSO MAKES EVEN LESS MOTHERFUCKING SENSE
8. everyone finds out about his rape and he isnt mortified he's just concerned about himself being gay to his dad?????? except it's not really about his gayness bc now it's about his sudden love for his rapist brother? which? hm ok. understandable the dad is like wow i do not think i like this
9. dad knows all of it is fucked up, everyone does, knows the mother fucked up, knows he fucked up. doesnt like it because he is normal. so we know this is terrible? ok great so—
10. father says "i can't accept this...but i'm willing to give you my blessing" ok see here's the thing. when you write you have to think about the things you are putting on the page and what you have written previously. this quite literally made no sense how the fuck are you going to not accept them but give them your blessing? does this crew know what the fuck words are? i'm assuming they went to some sort of school to obtain jobs here bc there cannot be natural talent or experience. maybe most of them are rich. fuck i do not know but this also makes no sense. just the literal logic of it it's like fucking insane the whiplash.
10.5 apparently this father is also shitty. everyone here sucks and they are basically begging me to think xing si is a fucking idiot so i dont even want to look at him if he is an object he doesnt matter so now i want to kick him. thanks a lot you made the victim get absolutely fucking nothing
they KEEP PUSHING the brother thing it is so insane and it's liek GUYS WE GET IT WE UNDERSTAND THEYRE "RELATED" BUT NOT RELATED SO IT'S OK HE WAS "RAPED" BUT NOT RAPED but you're GOING BACK ON YOUR OWN RULES!!!!!!!!!! WE GET THAT THEY ARE BROTHERS!!! WE'RE OVER IT NOW BUT WHAT IS THIS WHEN WE ALREADY ESTABLISHED SOMETHING? I AM CONFUSION? they flip flop between my son, my brother my actual brother, and cannot fucking distinguish between love for your father and love for your romantic partner? so to me what i see is that the father wants to fuck the son. that's the conclusion i am garnering now considering nothing matters and his love for his "brother" is the same as his love for his dad lmao. they couldnt even do that in a way that made sense. like damn anybody can get anything. these ppl who are doing this have to be fucking rich and/or have connections.
also this guy sounds literally like a textbook abuser like he says constantly "im the best choice" is a rapist is awful holds capital (oh hees "saving" smh ur trapping her!!!!! RETIRE!!!!) also wears terrible shoes so i am like ur alllllllllLLLLL FUCKING CRAZY ur all literally crazy and then they are trying to set rules and boundaries in their fucking house like WHY ARE THEY LIVING TOGETHER EVEN? even tho oh my god they know he raped him and for some reason they are both allowing to live in the house but they dont want them to have sex??!?!?!??!??!?!?!?!??!?!?!?!?!?!?!??!?!!?!?!?!?!!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!??!?!??!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!!??!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!??!?!?!?!?!?! i get that this is their house but this is like at this point these ppl are writing anything and now whatshisface is acting like a 2 yr old again and we are supposed to find this cute? like it makes 0 sense why do u fucking care u literally encouraged ur son to rape him so they cant have consensual sex under your nose now and have to wait four years? this is coming from the son who couldnt wait until someone was sober enough to realize hes fucking psychotic and should be killed also the fact that they act like being 20 means u have no fucking brain like this kid is in med school supposedly how do we know like hes a liar and an idiot so. also wait do they mean undergrad? how are you in med school at 20? is he a genius? girl i dont care lmao i guess i missed that but it's not like it matters so whatever
even if we ignore the stupidity of the literal acts, the grossness of the content, the absolute inability to write coherently or even remotely in a way where we would even want to see them together which is like....u set it up at the beginning so he punches "the love his life's best friend" also holy fuck im sorry remember when he punches muren because xing si got too drunk. so i'm guessing whatshisface is that good of a bartender that he makes super strong drinks and gets xing si drunk but his alcohol is magical therefore it doesn't make him sick. his alcohol is the type that gets you drunk but somehow doesnt get to your liver even though that's how we get drunk but dont ask guys he's only in med school and a bartender so i think he knows best (seriously have the main writers had a day of fun in their lives? have they ever been drunk? are they toddlers? drunk babies could probably do better tho.) i get that he was also jealous but if this kid is SOOOOOO genius (he understands social cues lmao he has the cpacity to project onto his victim so im like miss me with the not understanding shit. go to a fucking therapist like seriously did no one care abt this kid? his mother thinks he's like almost a goddamn murderer. how is she not dead? how are they all not dead? how do any of them know how to drive with this type of brain?) then he would understand that they are very clearly friends since he watched them part in a very platonic way and since he apparently knows what love is cos he thinks....he can....make someone fall in love with him bc he loves them? again, i wouldnt know hes 20 and taiwanese and im 29 and black from AMERICA so im WESTERN* so you know. different life experiences i guess XD
even if we do mental gymnastics to get it to a place where they "had sex" and he didnt rape him there's 0 ZERO ZERO ZERO ZERO ties to the literal story they wrote and the rules they set up. i'm going ot assume they dont know wtf theyre doing and i know for a fact we all care more about their dumb show than they do but it's actually startling how piss poor this is it's like idek what to compare it to. the continuity is awful awful awful they needed a script supervisor majorly and they are making bank and are going to make fucking bank fof this shit. and itll just continue like that until IRL material changes and that's facilitated by these very same groups they choose to profit off of and exploit by propelling it into the mainstream and litigating homosexuality through capitalism. and i'm being specific with homosexuality. i dont want a GL market like at all and i know why we wouldnt have it either and that has everything to do with the nature of BL, capitalism, coercion, and the fanbase being young girls and women. i don't think in this day and age we can safely say all the fans are straight; i'm sure a majority but many women or people on the gender spectrum and sexuality spectrum also consume it. frankly, it's possible the women who write it could be or something too. i dont rly believe any1 is str8 lmao but im just saying it's not out of the realm of possibility. but it isnt about that at all. that's why we wont see "good" female characters (like well written) often that's why we won't see trans women or kathoeys or fat people or black asians in it. a lot of it is is a choice we participate in whatever. but holy fuck dude u could at least respect the audience's fucking intelligence. i'm talking about everything i think that is encapsulated in the project but it's even more jarring and worse because it's so insanely inconsistent and poorly done. like how we jump from one conclusion to another is wild to me. even their first "night together" and he wakes up im like girl....u no ur ass felt it. this nigga broke into his house and was like "im gonna have u" like it's getting weird
just make xing si suffer offscreen not us the stupidity is staggering, mind blowing, hilarious.
how wong kar wai, a straight man from HK (or at least married to a woman), or barry jenkins, a striahgt black man, write/do stories well about people they wouldnt knw about their experiences directly is....well thinking like using their brains and like knowing all types of people? the man who co-wrote moonlight is a hOMOSEXUAL, leslie cheung was fucking gay or queer (and he committed suicide and that's important also RIP homie) both are hailed as queer cinema like WKW wanted to do something else and invested time into it, changed the way he played around with structure, moved away from his crime oriented stuff. he THOUGHT about it and this film is about their reality. it's a harsh film, idk how i feel about it (but my fav movies of his are the crime ones or the messy ones where it's clear he didnt write a script lmao fallen angels is one of my fav movies its' abt assassins kinda) but i know it means something. and he didnt like what HK had previously wasnt enough. it is not the only cinema that should be shown since it's such a stark reality and depressing but it is a real depiction so we can have all sorts of stuff. no this isnt WKW level or moonlight level but i know for a fact these people think they are doing something because artists always do i say this as one and someone who is equally as useless. you're making a statement.
i also hate the westerner component of peoples analyses. first of all dont do cultural relativism. we can critique and respect. but second of all how are we going to keep saying "dont put western ideals on this" when that is what is happening anyway because that's part and parcel for soft power and capitalism. how about taiwan's history with the KMT? what about the regimes young people fought about? aided by US imperialism which permeates through society and affects material conditions, views, democracy, identity and that goes into culture and media. hm? what about that? is that reality too fucking western for people? that we are doing the same thing again now? is that okay to talk about or is that only on your time?
then there's the argument that this is just entertainment. yea no shit but the thing is if we r gonna talk about marginalized groups and watch bc of marginalized groups and then be expected to identify then i dont see why i cant put this in context. even if it wasnt fucking serious we'd still judge it. but it's so pompous and again like i wouldnt say EYE think it's art but it is "art" in the literal sense and no self respecting artist would ever go "man this means nothing." of course im not sure if they do respect themselves so hey but u cant just go oh man it's entertainment when it literally rests on the fact that HOMOS are MARGINALIZED. it literally rests on the fact that WOMEN ARE OBJECTS. you either want progress or you dont. i dont understand being so demanding but not beign specific in the demands and not trying to use your brain. if you dont want to use your brain don't. but if you are looking , engaging, and keep making these arguments or telling ppl it doesnt matter whilst complaining about how much others care is hypocritical at best, willfully obtuse at worst. both bad. :)
(also all this + another thing; it is insulting to have this like wedding happen based off of this stupid relationship when people fought so hard and had to push it. now they can use the material conditions to their advantage but it's so ridiculous. also because there is difficulty still in getting married in taiwan i'm honestly like....the boldness of the writers...)
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jidai · 3 years
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jidai’s budget mutuals/friends appreciation
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Hi, all! I’m quite late with this but I decided to put a small friends and mutual appreciations post in hopes of brightening up the end of this year a little bit. ❤️ If you were tagged, please make sure to check below for a small little message from me. However, I want to make it very clear that I truly appreciate all of my mutuals. You guys brighten up my dash and always reblog or create so many funny and creative posts. I just wanted to give a few special shout outs to those that have taken out the time to reach out and interacted with me past my ask box or we just see each other often.
The messages are ordered by your URL, so you might have to scroll for awhile before you see your messages. I’m so sorry lmao. 
Happy New Years, everyone!
@25th​​, Nonnie, the Young Genius. bro, remind me how old you are 🧍‍♀️ Like my brain CANNOT fathom the thought that you’re so skilled at SO many things and you’re not even in your twenties??? PLEASE SPARE THE TALENT. i will even accept crumbs. But I’m writing to tell you that you are such a wonderful presence on my dash. I always look forward to your gfx. They’re so SO good and you’re improving from one post to another. Like WOW. Now, you’re even starting an art blog, too? You’re so dedicated to the arts. I respect that a lot. Your hard work and commitment will bring you very far in life, whatever you decide to do. 
I love interacting with you. You’re such a big sweetheart and full of positivity and energy. I look forward to seeing more of your art and gfx ❤️
@biscuitwalk​, Dann, the AK Wiz. Dann, I know you’re not as active on here so idk when or if you will ever read this but I want to say that I miss you and your creations so, so much. I will say it a hundred times over and OVER but you inspire me so goddamn much. You have no fucking idea. Your works are absolutely gorgeous and unique. I can look at it once and I can instantly recognize your style (and your cute lil’ pufferfish <3). The way you utilize colors and implement various techniques, shapes, textures into your work. Goddamn, you’re so good. I always look to your work if I ever need inspiration and they help me brainstorm. God, I wish I could put it into words how much I adore your works.
We didn’t really talk for long but you seemed like such a kind and fun person to be around. I wish you the best in your future endeavors, wherever you are. Stay safe <3
@elriccs, Mirai, the Short King. 🧍‍♀️ ok look I know, I know I’m TERRIBLE at replying to you and I’m so fucking sorry. I absolutely love to talk to you but my dumbass cannot seem to reply in a timely manner LASELKSAL. That’s on me and I gotta do better. Anyways!!! Thank you SO fucking much for always leaving such kind messages on my work. I swear to god you’re one of my biggest hype man and I ALWAYS look forward to reading your tags. They’re so funny and it makes me all tingly and happy inside. Bro, like, you just radiate big fun vibes, bro. I really hope that I can get to know you better so I can just insult you until it’s too late to walk away </3
And of course, let me also remind you that I love your works so much. They way that you utilize your textures and those muted colors... OOMPH *chefs kiss* I will always love--
@lockhvrts​​, Em the Soulsborne GOD. hi em 🥺 it’s been awhile since I’ve had a proper conversation with you and I hope you’re doing okay! I miss you and our conversations where we do nothing but geek out and complain about the game industry lmao. if you manage to read this, I just wanted to let you know I miss your presence here. It’s been kinda dull not seeing your beautiful soulsborne gifs and your game rants. Let’s catch up soon. <3 stay safe and well!
@nathanprescutt, Benn, the Man. BENNNNNNNN.  I love you a lot bro. I know we haven’t had long conversations for some time and I hope I can change that! You were my first friend on this blog and I will always appreciate it. I remember us just geeking out over your works and how I would always send you a gfx request like once a week LMAO. The one thing that I have always appreciated about you was the fact that you’re very opinionated (if not, very vocal on your stance on things) and you hold your ground. There were a few time where you encouraged me to speak on topics that I think I shouldn’t and that stuck with me for quite awhile. I’m still a nervous rambling mess when it comes to debates but just know that the one time you supported me to voice my opinion--I hold it very dear to my heart. 
While I don’t spend much time together, I will always remember our animal crossing session. It was  so much fun just trashing and chilling on your island. Especially the bar :( that bar was fucking AMAZING. Maybe once FFXVI comes out, we can geek out hehe
Also, thank you so much for sending in photos of all your doggos, omg. I miss seeing them so much I hope they’re doing well. Stay hot, my German bro lol. Ich bin sehr dankbar, so eine tolle Freundin zu haben. ❤️❤️❤️
@noxdivina​, Lin the Big Dick Daddy Kind. The church is open for business bitch and I’m here to preach the GOSPEL.
Okay, jokes aside, I’m really happy that we became mutuals. You’ve always give off this like, mysterious cosmic vibe (????? huh). And your selfies just further proves that you are wtf. But you’re always so kind to those that you interact with. You’re an absolutely sweetheart and like I just want to give you a giant hug every time we interact. You’re such a soft human being. It’s so nice being around you. It’s like being tossed in the oven and baked at 250 degrees F for 25 minutes. And to boot you’re really talented, hello? God really said let there be a perfect human being and yeeted you into the universe. Thank you for always leaving such kind messages and words in my DM/askbox/works. I cherish them so much. I hope I can get to know you better in the future bc you’re rad, bro <3
anyways, updated drawing of u and maya:
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i always assume you’re in a black fur parka 24/7 and maya is coatless neck down. also deck me with those jacked arms of yours thanks  🧍‍♀️
(edit: fuck i forgot to draw a PARTY HAT ON MAYA IM SORRY)
@rokuseis​, Sei, the Dumber.
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i have nothing to say to you go away you banana hater ASELKSAEKL
BITCH, you doo bee getting on my nerve 24/7/365 🧍‍♀️ you were an unexpected but a very welcomed addition to my life. I can’t believe we really went 1 fuckin’ year without speaking to each other and then suddenly our friendship blew up because over a stupid BANANA. Now you gotta deal with me and my stupid, random, crude ass messages daily. I cannot. Clown to clown communication. But thank you so much bitch for being there for me and telling all of these funny ass stories and life experiences.
I know I don’t say it a lot because when we talk it’s literally just dogs barking at each other but I want to make it clear now: I love your humor and vibe so much. You never fail to make me laugh anytime I talk to you and I appreciate it so much. I can’t tell you how many times I felt better after talking to you. Even though sometimes your fucking jab hits hard and I end up actually inSULTED BY IT. But thank you for becoming my friend and I look forward to all of our stupid moments together. Looking forward to shitting in your sink when I finally fly to your home <3
@wolfamongthem, Anna, the Grinch. Please don’t hurt me for that title. I'm just saying if someone needs a live casting, it’ll be u. Anyways, did you know that I was so fucking intimidated by you for a long ass time, even before we became mutuals aseljas LMAO. I always see your gifs around on explore and they’re so gorgeous and then I look at your text posts and it’s u roasting people like there’s no tomorrow- 🧍‍♀️ bitch I was SCARED OF U KSKS. Now that I’ve talked to you a few times, you’re really funny like where do you find those reaction memes????? Like bro you and your shitposts is my morning cup of coffee. 
Anyways, in 2021 I expect a full-fledge review of all AAA games from you-- no more shit talking in the tags let it all out BITCH. Thank you for being such a great mutual! I look forward to see what weird shit you will send me the next time we talk lmao
@zenien​​, Selm, the I’m-gay-for-Lady-Maria-or-anything-that-moves-in-BB-Bitch™. ok bitch if I’m being honest I wrote yours last so my brain is FRIED. so everything i say from here is raw from the HEARt cause that’s all I got left. But anyhow, we savin’ the best for last! honestly, i didn’t expect you to barge into my life like that. i really didn’t. i was just gonna keep admiring with my 7 feet (2.1336 meters) pole. I’m glad you made the first move because look where we are wtf 🧍‍♀️ friends??? I wouldn’t believe you if you told me that in 2014 when I first followed you lmao. 
You’re such a kind soul. I know you may disagree but I’m determined to convince you. I can’t tell you how much I want to thank you for taking the time to talk to me during my rough bits. It’s like sitting on a wooden bench in a park during sunset and you sit next to me, just enjoying the vast sky. You radiate such peaceful energy. It’s very calming. Or you know, 2 seconds later i’m suddenly suplexed by your 40 tons of insults like what-- 
Thank you for everything, so far. Truly. It’s been so fun listening to you talk about your Bloodborne journey and see your reactions live. It’s been so fun to see you post your graphics and it continues to blow me away. It’s been so fun hearing about your life and the stories of your adulthood. Every words that we have exchanged, I hold dearly to my heart--more than you ever know. Love u bitch.
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todo-ho-ki · 3 years
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In honor of me never writing a single fucking word for the stories I’m still actually working on, I wanted to do something, anything at all, and obviously right now I’m fixating on haikyu instead of BNHA so welcome to...
Chances I’d Fight the Haikyu Boys and the Likelihood I’d Win
KARASUNO
Daichi 🏐
Chances I’d fight him: 0/10 he’s a master of being cool and respectful he wouldn’t give me a reason to square up
Chances I’d win- Manz could crush me with his thighs alone one kick and I’m in the afterlife BUT he wouldn’t fight a lady so 1/10
Suga 🏐
Chances I’d fight him: 1/10 a bitch might consider for money or something but otherwise. HEEEELLLL NO
Chances I’d win: suga seems lovely but Manz is as unhinged as his jaw will be when he swallows my arm whole after I try to punch him 2/10
Asahi 🏐
Chances I’d fight him: -3/10 he’s a soft boy I’d never fight him but +2 bc I might give him a gentle arm punch if need be. Overall -1/10
Chances I’d win: he only LOOKS scary but he wouldn’t hurt a fly tbh he’s probably scared of flies and looking like an asshole for fighting back 9/10 -1 point because Manz got REACH and COULD take me out if he wanted
Noya 🏐
Chances I’d fight him: 4/10 he can be a little shit sometimes I stg
Chances I’d win: -1/10 he could jump on me and bite my jugular out I ain’t fuckin w/him. +2 points bc he’s a simp so he probably WOULDNT...but he COULD. Overall 1/10
Tanaka 🏐
Chances I’d fight him: 6/10 he do be antagonizing sometimes and I swear if he SAY SOME SHIT TO ME...
Chances I’d win: mans could probably ACTUALLY win a fight hes full of energy and he could probs give me a look and I’d get scared 3/10 bc I don’t think he’d fight me either he’s a GENTLEMAN OK
Kageyama🏐
Chances I’d fight him: -50/10 bitch is SCARY and I know he’ll throw hands I’ve seen it
Chances I’d win: kageyama DO NOT GIVE A FUCK he’s broody in general and have you SEEN HIS SERVES he could slap me into next week(I’d thank him OOP) -370/10
Hinata 🏐
Chances I’d fight him: -500/10 Hinata is best boy I’d never lay a hand on him
Chances I’d win: I’d say 10/10 but I’ve SEEN that look in his eyes I don’t wanna know what it means so 6/10
Tsukishima 🏐
Chances I’d fight him: Manz knows all the buttons to press he’s a salty MF 8/10 but not 10/10 cuz he looks hot sometimes
Chances I’d win: he’d probably say something that makes me cry and id get distracted and he’ll walk away 2/10 cuz I could take him if I could see past the tears
Yamaguchi 🏐
Chances I’d fight him: -60,000/10 yams is a ray of SUNSHINE I could NEVER
Chances I’d win: here’s where things get tricky. He’s friends with Tsuki so he’s def got the sass and shit I think he’d be the one to secretly be able to THROW DOWN 3/10
NEKOMA
Kuro 🏐
Chances I’d fight him: -530,000/10 I LOVE him sm I simp too hard I can’t ruin that pretty face and that smirk NO ABSOLUTELY NOT
Chances I’d win: Manz is like a tree he could hold me at bay w/one of those buff-ass arms or crush my head with his thighs and since id let him, -6/10. minus three points cuz he’d charm me out of fighting
Kenma 🏐
Chances I’d fight him: 7/10 BAD BITCH GOT A ATTITUDE, NASTY
Chances I’d win: Kenma’s spicy and he WILL fight but I got too much strength on him so 9/10 I think he’d pull out some moves before giving up
Lev 🏐
Chances I’d fight him: 4/10 sometimes he’s just...REALLY stupid and arrogant which makes my eye twitch but minus 4 points bc he’s a big softie
Chances I’d win: his arm alone is longer than my body even if he couldnt fight he could swing blindly and accidentally hit the part of my brain responsible for consciousness in a panic. Also 4/10
Yaku 🏐
Chances I’d fight him: absolutely not I love his sassy attitude he be talkin shit sometimes 0/10 plus three points bc sometimes hed aim his tude at me and I STG
Chances I’d win: Manz is small but ready to pounce he’d jump on my back like a spider monkey and punch my skull till it caves in RIP me. 4/10 plus 2 points bc hed take it out on Lev instead
Fukunaga 🏐
Chances I’d fight him: 0/10 Manz never did nothin to nobody
Chances I’d win: he’d probably say something so funny I’d die from lack of oxygen w/o ever getting a hit in 3/10 if I can breathe I can get his ass
SEIJOH
Oikawa 🏐
Chances I’d fight him: depends on the day but a solid 6/10 he’s a little bitch sometimes but we love to see it. I also don’t wanna be messin up that pretty ass face
Chances I’d win: if he REALLY wanted to he could serve me into a different reality but he wouldn’t fight unless he ABSOLUTELY had to so I could get his ass too. Pre time skip: 19/10. Minus 63 points because I KNOW 27 year old oikawa would WRECK MY SHIT and I’d say please sir may I have some more
Iwaizumi 🏐
Chances I’d fight him: yo, you out to DAMN MIND??? -100,000/10
Chances I’d win: look. LOOK. Iwa Chan’s biceps are bigger than my head I mean NOTHING to him. I’m but a pebble to a god. He got a 6’7” attitude cuz he can swing like a 6’7” man. He could probably pull his dick out once and obliterate me with the seismic aftershock of it hitting the ground. -1235/10 minus six points bc ID LET HIM KILL ME
Yahaba 🏐
Chances I’d fight him: solid 7/10 KEEP IT IN YOUR PANTS
Chances I’d win: see, you’d THINK this would be where I’d have the upper hand but Manz manhandled mad dog and lived. He’d slam me into a wall until my soul leaves my body right where I stand 3/10 bc he be simpin. Minus 3 points because I’d enjoy it
Mattsun 🏐
Chances I’d fight him: pre time skip:0/10
post time skip: -57/10 I ain’t putting my hands on a face that pretty
Chances I’d win: I’m doomed. He’d give me one look and I’d cave. Im walking out the broom closet limping but not bc of a fight. -41/10
Kiyotani 🏐
Chances I’d fight him: we’ll go with a solid -5/10 for...reasons
Chances I’d win: if I actually stood up to him he’d freeze in place but he could slap me into a different country if provoked 1/10
Kunimi 🏐
Chances I’d fight him: 0/10 we love a man who’s emotionally detached plus he’s hot tf
Chances I’d win: Manz would give up halfway through if he even indulged in the first place. 6/10 minus three points bc I’d win by default after he walks away
INARIZAKI
Kita 🏐
Chances I’d fight him: he’s a good boy -3/10
Chances I’d win: respectable guy but I have no doubt he’d rock my shit I’m ascending to the astral plane 1/10
Osamu 🏐
Chances I’d fight him: uh-uh. 0/10
Chances I’d win: he’s the aggressive twin. One flying kick to the heart and it’s across the gym and I’m dead as FUCK. 2/10 minus 2 points bc PLEASE put your hands on me sir
Atsumu 🏐
Chances I’d fight him: a soft 4/10 he’s a BRAT buuuuuut I love him so fucking much I’d let it go
Chances I’d win: he’s all bark and no bite. Srry bby but you’re gettin FOLDED I love you though. 88/10. minus 370 points bc please spend the rest of your life with me I could never hurt you 🥺
Aran 🏐
Chances I’d fight him: -5/10 he’s so sweet why would you fight him
Chances I’d win: he’d serve a volleyball into the back of my head and I take +10 damage from how cool it looks. Can fit my face in one hand probably. -43/10 minus ten points because of how cool he’d look killing me instantly
Suna 🏐
Chances I’d fight him: 2/10 he’s a little shit too he’d make someone record it
Chances I’d win: he’d try to fuck me instead. It would work. 1/10 bc I’d slap him afterward but like, sexily
FUKURODANI
Bokuto 🏐
Chances I’d fight him: 3/10 emo mode GOTS TO GO
Chances I’d win: his ass would pull me into it’s orbit and he’d use the opportunity to crush me with his thighs. -6/10. Minus 4 points bc what a FUCKING way to go please kill me
Akaashi 🏐
Chances I’d fight him: 1/10 he’s intimidating you kidding me NO
Chances I’d win: I could take him if he’s distracted by Bokuto. 6/10 if he is, 1/10 if he’s not
Konoha 🏐
Chances I’d fight him: -3/10 we love a sassy boy
Chances I’d win: I’m not maiming a face that pretty -28/10 I’d get lost in his eyes tf
SHIRATORIZAWA
Ushijima 🏐
Chances I’d fight him: none and a half I couldn’t even look at him. -.5/10
Chances I’d win: one smack would knock my organs out of my body. Big boy+big body=big death even if he misses the aftershock will stop my heart -67/10 minus four points bc RAIL ME
Tendou 🏐
Chances I’d fight him: 14/10 SQUARE UP BITCH
Chances I’d win: WELCOME TO HELL. YOUVE MADE A MISTAKE 36/10
Shirabu 🏐
Chances I’d fight him: 0/10 he’s too cool
Chances I’d win: he wouldn’t show. Too busy getting his hair cut. I win by default. 10/10 minus four points bc there would be no fight
Semi 🏐
Chances I’d fight him: I wouldn’t. 0/10. He’d give me the semi brow and I’d be down and out for the count. I’m not hitting a face that pretty.
Chances I’d win: 2/10. Minus three points bc he’d smash a guitar over my head, killing me instantly. Minus three more points bc I’d ask him to wear a leather jacket first
Goshiki 🏐
Chances I’d fight him: None. 0/10. His words and his bangs are as cool as ever.
Chances I’d win: he’d cry if I looked at him wrong. 86/10 but minus four points bc he’s baby
EXTRAS
Sakusa 🏐
Chances I’d fight him: surprisingly high. 7/10 bc a bitch got a attitude. Minus 8 points because he’s so fucking beautiful I don’t know if I could follow through
Chances I’d win: I’d just lick my hands before I started swinging and he’d leave. 8/10. Minus two points bc I think if he REALLY needed to square up he’d take me down in a fucking headlock until I pass out. Minus two more points because I’d ask him to squeeze harder.
Ukai jr. 🏐
Chances I’d fight him: that’s the wrong F word kids 😏. -34/10 besides I ain’t squaring up with a man that wears a headband like that
Chances I’d win: he probably could eat a bowl of nails for breakfast without any milk. -99/10. Minus 15 points bc I’d stop to ask him if he wants to finish this at my place
Hiragumi 🏐
Chances I’d fight him: why would you fight such a good, PRETTY boy? -5/10
Chances I’d win: he’d smile at me and I’d give up. -12/10
Takeda 🏐
Chances I’d fight him: I think he’d kill me honestly. Plus the boys would’ve never had a chance w/o him absolutely NOT -2/10
Chances I’d win: he’s hiding a demon from hell under that green jacket. -60/10
Terushima🏐
Chances I’d fight him: sheeeit I could try but his sexiness would leave me paralyzed. 1/10 if I look at enough pictures I could get past his fucking blonde undercut and tongue ring
Chances I’d win: he’d have my thighs around his head in 1.8 seconds. Will kill me with his tongue. -435/10
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veeranger · 3 years
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my unprompted opinions on sentai swords. Gokaiger - Ninninger 
some of my favorites and not so favorites this time
Gokaiger
Gokai Saber
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this might honestly be my favorite but i know that’s first sentai bias. like i said a few posts ago i like wide curved blades like this and the design of the whole thing is just so cool. the way you have to slam the button in front to pop the key cylinder out and doing finishers with ranger keys. best seriously. i love this thing. 
Go-Busters
Beet & Stag Buster’s Driblade
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i almost said there were no swords in gobus because i forgot this wack thing. the fact that its a steering wheel and a sword is fucking hilarious and i actually really like that cuz it works really well for the theme of go-busters toys. i cant believe gobus sold poorly honestly. it is kinda ugly tho. 
Kyoryuger
Zyuden Sword Gaburicalibur
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this is uh. yeah. i kind of hate this one. the gaburevolver looks a billion times better than this weird thing and it always looks like it needs to be held backwards or some shit. next.
Kyoryu Gold’s Serial Zyuden Sword Zandar Thunder
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holy fuck i love this ugly thing. its so wack but its like a stupid katana that opens like a big fucking bird mouth. my god. i also loved that ucchy kept it on his back at all times it really completed his weird modern day samurai look. also the finisher was so fuckin good. 
Torin’s Feather Edge
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im serious here this is one of my favorite swords ive ever seen. its beautiful. im sad i cant find a better pic to show you. this is to me the ultimate evolution of the bringer sword and the eagle sword but just so elegant and fantastic it blows them away. the blue blade is beautiful. i love the feather edge deeply. 
ToQGer
Revolving Gun-Sword ToQ Blaster
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i literally cant find a better pic of this thing but also i barely tried cuz its ugly. once again they cared more about the gun than the sword as evidenced by the name. next. 
ToQ #1′s Rail Slasher
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i really like this one. its like the train version of the road saber so pretty much everything i said about that applies here. the train tracks especially i think are really cool. fun sword.
Ninninger 
Transformation Ninja Sword Ninja Ichibantou / Strongest Ninja Sword Ninja Gekiatsuto
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theyre exactly the same except one of them is uglier. i dont hate this sword and on paper i really like the way that its a changer sword and the spinning gimmick and all that jazz. the issue is i dont like the colors on either of these things. it does nothing for me. sorry. 
Starninger’s Guitar Ningeki Star Sword-Gun
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if you dont love this thing you’re literallty fuckin insane. i seriously cant talk to you if you think this is anything less than amazing. look at it fucks sake. i smile every time i see this sword. 
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twinkluffy · 4 years
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fanfics for quarantine with α!katsuki x Ω!izuku.
Hiya, my fellows shippers. I know quarantine is being hard to everyone for different reasons but i hope you can stay safe at home. If you have to be outside for work or to work with/for people, thank you so much for your hard work and it is deeply appreciated. 
In this occasion it’s my pleasure to bring you all a fanfic recommendation list of Alpha/Omega KatsuDeku that i loved on AO3. So buckle up, gather everything you need for this wild ride because this gonna be a long post and this just the first part, sisters. Friendly reminder that every person writes their own rules for their omegaverse. It goes without saying that most of this post is+18 rated filth (and i did let out some nasty things that would make most of you don’t hold a face to face conversation with me without kinkshaming me) but even with that the sexual content is gonna have a bolded +18 beside the tittle; and as the old saying goes: read the damn tags on the fic, they are there for a reason.  
The links, rating, state and summary under the cut. Please, feel free to reblog and like or to come to my dms just to talk or ask for a type of fic in specific. I’ll post part 2 of this soon. 
drag me to the deeps of your heart (+18)  by halcyonwhispers [one shot, 5945 words // 1/2 from “The (im)proper way to an Alpha-Omega courtship” series ] 
Everyone presents on their 17th birthday, and while Katsuki has already (alpha, big fuckin’ shocker), he awaits his boyfriend’s presentation to finally get over the nonexistent (slight) curiosity over Izuku’s new rank. He can’t be an alpha, not crybaby, overthinking Deku. Anyways, both his parents are betas, and all that genetic and biology shit says Deku’s bound for that road. (he thinks)
Gravity (+18) by warschach [complete, 71477 words, 10 chapters]
Izuku is back in his hometown and plenty hasn't changed much from the 8 years he was gone. Except, Katsuki Bakugou, the alpha king of their small town. He's hotter- because that's fair, right, God? -, stronger, a now-famous pro fighter, and noticeably nicer this round. Not that he cares, pfft.
Ha, Izuku Midoriya caring about Katsuki Bakugou, thinking he's pretty cute and not half bad once you get past the asshole persona; though that gargantuan ego of his could take a dive off a very tall cliff. (Fine, he cares.)
what’s mine is mine (+18) by xenodickery [one shot, 5504 words // 1/3 from the “what’s mine is mine” series. Implied r*pe not related to the pair]
Bakugou watched, fists shaking in his lap, as someone pried open Midoriya's mouth and placed the pink tab on his tongue. An aphrodisiac. At least that's what they'd called it. A heat compellant.
Marshmallow by choimarie  [one shot, 3359 words // part of the 2k18 bakudeku week]
“Yo! Look at what we have here!” A voice said loudly and Izuku's heart stopped.
He turned around, his eyes widening. A group of six alphas was walking his way towards him.
What’s is this? The beginning of a porn0? (+18) by JijiHadidnt [2 chapters, 4625 words]
“Did somebody order a pizza?”
“What is this? The beginning of a porno?”
“Shut up Nerd just let me in.”
Izuku and Bakugou handle their argument over celebrity crushes in an interesting way.
A nest for the best by Camellia_Sinensis [one shot, 1007 words // Part of the “dorks in love” series] 
Deku’s been nesting and asking everyone in 1-A for pieces of clothing for his horde. Everyone, that is, except Katsuki. Cue the jealousy.
where i feel you the most (+18) by shousanki [one shot,3899 words]
In which Katsuki comes 1) to terms with Izuku's screwy biology almost as unpredictable as the person himself, and 2) down Izuku's warm and willing throat.
the last dragon-blood king (+18) by claimedbydaryl [complete, 13 chapters, 107.009 words]
Katsuki Bakugou was the alpha heir to a forgotten throne, reigning lord and warden of the Fyre Isles, a famed warrior of vicious repute in the Western Seas, and he would be wed to Izuku Midoriya by the day’s end.
Project: heat (+18) by ellslane  [one shot, 2914 words]
Katsuki can do this. He can control himself around Deku, who’s scent has spiked in sweetness and is dripping in pheromones. He can maintain his composure as they work together on a school project. He can keep himself in check as his stupid smell wafts through the air, and directly into his nose.
He can’t do this.
Dessert before dinner (+18) by Morpheel [one shot, 3473 words] 
Ground Zero has his work cut out for him as of late.
Between his increased Hero workload, and a pregnant mate at home, there's very little time to slow down and "smell the roses", as they say. He's too busy fighting the rampant crime rate going wild throughout the city without their Pillar of Justice on duty for 9 months. Yet leave it up to Izuku to find his own way in squirming some quality time in before Katsuki's shift.
Emergency contact (+18) by SurelyHeavenWaits [one shot, 3753 words]
There are some things in life that a person would like to know in advance:
weather forecasts, patrol schedules, patrol routes, being listed as an ERC for the person they've secretly loved for most of their life. Pro Hero Deku knew three of these things at the start of his shift.
Blonde haired bunnies (+18) by morpheel [one shot, 5194 words]
In an attempt to create a new genetic pattern in the Rabbit-Hybrid Gene, Izuku Midorya is paired with a very strange (and almost unorthodox) stud. The end goal is blonde haired, red eyed rabbits- though only one Alpha truly fits that bill.
Surely a wolf and a rabbit can't breed?
Late mornings (+18) by Oilux [one shot, words]
When Deku arrives, late for class, panting, red stained cheeks, every alpha in the class staring at him with open want, Bakugo only has one thought crossing his mind.
He’s mine.
Vitality in postpartum (+18) by ellslane [one shot,2989 words]
Katsuki can tell his husband has been dealing with his image after giving birth to their precious boy, and he's hellbent on making Izuku see the perfection he sees. Happy husband, happy life, after all.
Box (+18) by SurelyHeavenWaits [one shot, 3028 words]
On a stakeout for a villain with what's been reported as a lust-inducing Quirk, Pro Heroes Ground Zero and Deku find themselves boxed into a dire situation.
I’m so glad i found my mate today by kittiegirl1616 [oneshot, 2123 words]
Pro-Hero Ground Zero has captured a villain when he senses his mate is nearby.
whatever you’ve done, just bury (+18) it by ikvros [complete, 3 chapters, 18.593 words]
He knows how Katsuki thinks, talks, and fights. He knows how he sleeps, how he eats, how he loves, and how he leaves. And he knows what knows what it means for Katsuki to come back; has washed the evidence from the sheets countless times, scrubbed the scent of him off his skin in the morning until it’s as red and raw as his heart.
Their home (+18) by Veradiciy [one shot, 2694 words] 
There was nothing wrong with parking the car inside their garage. Nothing wrong with turning off the ignition and locking the car while still inside. Not even when the sensory light of the garage had went out a minute later to leave darkness at its wake. Having sex comes naturally between a mated couple like Bakugou and Midoriya in the late night during the start of Midoriya's heat.
Please scent me by fleurown [one shot, words]
In which Deku needs a quick favor at a party and Katsuki can't deny such a cute face.
eternity by PepeermintLeo [one shot, 9.724 words]
Izuku was Kacchan’s partner, in every sense of the word. He ruled right next to Kacchan’s side, an alpha and an omega, leading Kacchan’s tribe against all sorts of odds. As well as his romantic partner, steady and solid by his side but giving when emotions called for it.
Uncertainty by SuperiorDragonLord [one shot, 5129 words]  
Izuku was getting worried. After a particularly rough rescue mission, Katsuki had yet to even have a full conversation with him. Tensions are running high and Izuku is starting to get tired of walking around on eggshells. When he finally decides to confront Katsuki about it things take a direction he hadn't been prepared for.
Devil in me (+18) by glamour_weebs [oneshot, 1699 words]
Katsuki's usually the one getting into fights over Deku when they go to the club, but this time, his Omega's the one that starts a fight over him, but he doesn't stop there. Deku's determined to mark his territory.
if you can’t find the moning light, i’m here tonight by yabakuboi [oneshot, 3488 words]
Katsuki was never sure what happened to his childhood friend, quirkless Izuku who had presented as an omega and was whisked away to a traditional matchmaking house. Katsuki never saw him again after that, and tried to convince himself it was for the best. Many lonely years pass before he finds Izuku in the last place he ever wanted to, in the middle of a battlefield with a child clutching to his shirt.
Earned it (+18)by Morpheel [one shot, 6038 words]
Because within the illumination of lantern light stood a brothel’s worth of Omegas, all in various states of disarray, giggling and washing themselves without a care in the world to the army in their path.
Bakugou’s eyes narrowed in suspicion.
Say it again by susurrxus [one shot, 7153 words // Part of the (incomplete) “Mina Ashido approve of this ship” series] 
Katsuki discoveres he doesnt quite oppose to being called Daddy... nor does he oppose to abusing his Omega until he's a sobbing whore on the teachers desk.
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meanminyxrd · 4 years
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punchdrunk but it’s andreil based
hey losers i’m back with another song analysis, as always. i have a playlist for my andreil vibes if you’re curious, here it is. i actually have a lot but this one is for my slightly sad yearning andreil vibes. 
anyways, today we are covering punchdrunk by vaines. i really really enjoy this song for them and i hope i can covey it!! let’s go (:
I remember driving your car 'cause I never had one
And if I did I probably would’ve crashed it
And if I died who would’ve cared?
Maybe you would cry sometimes
Maybe you would just be fine
Because I know we weren’t in love
You just wanted to pass the time
(And that was alright)
the first line of this is pretty black and white. neil driving andrew’s car <3333 that’s it that’s the tweet. when he’s saying he’d crash one if he had his own its because he has to destroy a lot and leave stuff behind because of his past. he constantly is working to hide his past from the FBI. furthermore, he thought he was going to die for the majority of the books, and when he died, who was supposed to care? he had no one. it was this ‘me, myself, and i’ mentality because that was what kept him alive. he was constantly in danger, and when he was with andrew that’s why he made him take away the promise; he didn’t want andrew hurt because of his actions. by saying ‘maybe you would cry sometimes, maybe you would be just fine’ shows how he doesn’t think andrew actually cares ab him because 1. neil is an oblivious fuck and 2. andrew is a raging tsundere. andrew is always like ‘i dont like u’ blah blah, explaining the line ‘because i know we weren’t in love you just wanted to pass the time’ but neil was okay w it; ‘and that was alright’
I got it bad and I feel so lonely
Thought I wanted love I just wanted you
Now we’re together but you don’t even know me
But I’m stuck, what am I gonna do?
uhhh, like, poor fuckin neil man. he really had it bad for this man i really dunno how he survived when andrew was in the mental hospital HAHA. but fr he must have been so lonely, never allowing himself to make attachments, and then he makes this really skewed one with some midget maniac and then that same man goes to a hospital. that can’t have been a fun time (and it wasn’t).
‘thought i wanted love i just wanted you’, god, i love this line. remember when he looks at nicky and matt to see if he feels anything different? sees if he feels attracted to them, but he doesnt? he thinks he’s just craving affection after all this time, but no, its andrew he craves, it’s andrew he wants and chooses.
‘now we’re together but you dont even know me’ this motherfucker is living behind this silly ‘neil’ persona for a time when he’s with andrew and andrew only has this red headed man built of half truths. ‘now im stuck, what am i gonna do?’ he can’t run away like he’s used to because now he cares about andrew and he’s promised to stay.
Guess I’ll stick around
Being with you is only making me feel
Like I’m further from you then I’ve ever been
But I’m right there when you call me 'cause I’m so lonely
I don’t wanna bring it to an end
now, neil stays because he promised andrew he would, and andrew makes him feel so different and special and happy. but also while he’s with andrew he feels so far away because he isn’t being himself and andrew keeps denying whatever this,,, scuffed relationship is. but whenever andrew initiates contact, asks him yes or no, tells him to meet him somewhere or do something, neil is THERE in a heartbeat because he’s so caught up with the idea of andrew and he doesn’t want what they have to ever end even tho he’s convinced it will, one day, come to that point.
I remember feeling so young
Nothing's gonna bring me down
And if you jumped I would’ve followed
All the way down to the bottom
Better days are over now
Everything is slowing down
And you still won’t say it’s love
You just wanna pass the time
Fine
being with andrew brings him up, makes him happy, makes him FEEL something. nothing was gonna take him away from that. he would have followed andrew anywhere because he quite literally trusted andrew with his life. but the good days are over, (cut to baltimore) he’s being fucked up by his dad’s men and he thinks he’s gonna die then (cut to post baltimore) andrew does all this shit for him but STILL says he doesnt care ab neil and he just wants to pass the time. and neil is like, fine, what the fuck ever. if this is just a cheap fuck then by god im going to enjoy it while it lasts. and he’s starting to think andrew might feel *something*, but there’s no confirmation that can be seen by our lovely oblivious lil man.
Don’t stop, I know that it’s not what
I want but I need somebody to be mine
Oh god, I can’t tell you what’s up
I’m so deep in punch drunk, dumb love
I don’t ever wanna wake up
he doesnt want to be tied down. trusting someone and staying in one place for a long time? no. no way. that’s not something that neil abram josten does. he does not stay, he does not trust anyone, and by god he does NOT fall in love. but he gets to a point where he needs andrew. all he can think of in the hospital is the foxes and andrew, god, ANDREW, the prick he’s fallen in love with and can’t get out of love with. and he begs andrew to let him stay (post baltimore, hotel scene) because he NEEDS to stay, he NEEDS the foxes but more importantly he NEEDS andrew. but he’ll leave if he has to. he’ll leave if andrew asks him to because he cares more about andrew than he does himself, but he can’t explain any of this to andrew, because he’s never felt this before and he doesnt know what he’s even feeling. he just knows that somewhere along the line he fell head over heels into this situation for andrew and god he doesnt think he’ll ever be ready for it to end.
Got me brainwashed, everything is hazy
Am I killing time? Are you killin' me?
Mind games daily, why do I let you play me?
Do you get high watching me bleed?
(Now I’m bleeding out)
this part, for me, is more so a cut to the first book when andrew is just fuckin manic 24/7 because of his drugs. he drugs neil (brainwashed, hazy) and kidnaps him. neil is so stressed out by this situation that he doesn’t know who is winning in this stupid war he has with this psycho midget (am i killing time? are you killing me?). we all know andrew joseph minyard LOVES to torment neil even when shit is chill so he plays mind games with him constantly, and neil just lets it happen, because that’s who neil *is*. nathaniel wouldn’t stand for this shit, but that’s not the personality he’s portrayed and he isn’t eager to break character; not yet. and andrew always is so damn HAPPY, no matter what, bc of the drugs (again, first book for this verse). so the ‘do you get high watching me bleed?’ is like neil being like, do u really enjoy watching everyone around you hurt?? are you actually happy with all of this?
Running in circles while you hurt me, guess I deserve it
'Cause I just keep on worshiping you again and again
And I’m there when you call me 'cause I’m so– *beep*
I don’t want the misery to end
this part is a little tricky to explain canonically, i guess, but i attribute it once more to andrew denying his feelings. nora never explains it in the books, but i know from experience that this is SUCH a confusing scenario to be in. to have someone acting like they care and speaking differently. and neil must have been so confused (running in circles) but he feels he deserves it because it isnt like he’s trying to leave or anything, and he’s always there when andrew asks because like it or not, he’s attached. even tho this confusion sucks sometimes, and the whole hearted belief he has that andrew really does not care hurts beyond belief inside, he buries those feelings because he isnt ready to let andrew go.
that’s pretty much all of it; can you tell i’m obsessed with andreil?? i just love them so much. they’re so special to me. like, i dont think either of them ever saw a relationship coming; it just happened, and that’s what is so inherently beautiful to me about them. it started with a kiss, a ‘yes or no?’ and escalated from there. neil expected one day andrew was going to get bored of him, just like andrew always said he was. but he never did. he never will. 
so yeah!! hope u enjoyed xoxo see y’all soon <3
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