#get ready for FEELS

[nothingbutfanfiction]

It's Ok If You Forget Me Chapter 4 snippet

Getting any writing done seems nearly impossible due to my work hours. By the time I get home, I'm so tired I'm hitting the bed to sleep! I've been trying to sneak in little writing breaks when I can because I've wanted to get new stuff written. Here's a little sneak peek at Chapter 4 of my Blue Exorcist story.

The sound of a pencil scratching on paper filled the silent room.  A portrait was beginning to fill up the empty space of the sketchbook, taking on the familiar appearance of a certain half-demon.  Ryuuji’s face was scrunched up in concentration as he focused on getting the details right.  Two long months had passed since Rin left to go to his new home.  The school just wasn’t the same without him here.  It seemed as though they were the only ones to miss or even notice Rin’s absence.  Most of the regular students just assumed he’d transferred somewhere else and that was the end of it.  What he found the most disturbing were the cram school professors’ reactions.  They actually seemed happier after news of his departure had spread around the cram school.  It made Ryuuji sick to witness them actually celebrating the fact Rin was gone.  More and more, he began to understand why Rin was hesitant about them finding out his heritage.  The guy had trust issues and he could see why given people’s treatment of him.  Not that we were any better once we found out, he thought bitterly.  But at least we feel guilty and know we fucking screwed up.  We’re willing to do whatever it takes to make amends…but is Rin ever going to find it in his heart to forgive us?  Placing his pencil down on the desk, he glanced over his sketch.  Rin’s smiling face stared back at him, making him wish it were the real thing.

“You miss him, don’t you, Bon?”  Konekomaru’s quiet voice broke the stillness in the room.

Ryuuji jerked around in his seat as he saw his friend standing next to him, dark eyes taking in the sketch he’d drawn of Rin.  He wanted to deny it, to just say he was practicing his drawing skills.  But even he knew how pathetic that would sound.  It was kind of hard to deny it when the evidence was sitting in front of him.  “Yeah,” he finally replied, his voice sounding defeated.  “And I’m starting to think it goes beyond just missing him, ‘Neko.  Rin…I think I’m in love with him and it honestly scares me.  I’ve never felt like this for anyone and now…  How am I going to convince him about what I feel for him when all he’s likely to remember is how I last treated him?”

#blue exorcist fanfiction #blue exorcist #bonxrin #writing snippet #need more time to write #get ready for feels

[inkskinned]

there are a lot of posts out there that are positive and healthy coping mechanisms for handling the holidays. this is not one of them :)

i think there's like. going to be times in your life you will be stuck in a social situation that you cannot escape from gracefully. i do not know why the internet doesn't believe these times exist. it's not always just that your physical safety is at risk - sometimes it's legit like "i just don't currently have the energy or time to put in the effort of responding to this." sometimes it's a coworker you hate so much. sometimes it's just like, fine, you know? like you know you can handle your aunt when she's cheerily horrible, but if you actually set a boundary around her, it's going to be weeks of fallout with your father.

i don't know why people think the answer is always just "cut them out!" or "don't let them get away with that!" because ... the real world is tricky and complicated. i think kind of a lot of us have an internal "radiation poisoning" meter for certain people. like - i'm talking about the ones who are absolutely giving you gradual ick damage. like, you can handle them, but you'll be exhausted.

and yes. you absolutely should listen to your therapist and the good posts about handling others and set good boundaries and take care of yourself. prioritize peace.

HOWEVER :) ...... since im often in a situation with a Gradual Sense of Ick person i cannot just "cut out" of my life (without losing someone else precious to me) - i have sort of developed the most. maladaptive form of mischief possible. because like, if i'm going to have to listen to this shit again, i like to have a little bit of private fun with it.

now! again, i am physically safe, just mentally drained by this man. you should only do this with people you are not in danger with. which leads me to my suggestions for when your Unfortunate Acquaintance shows up and says oh everyone pay attention to me.

my favorite word is "maybe!" said as brightly and happily as possible. whenever the Horrible Person starts in on a topic you do not want to go further with, particularly if they make a claim that you know to be inaccurate, do not respond to it. you and i have both tried to actually argue with this person, and it hasn't gone well, because this person just wants the drama of an argument. however, "maybe!" gives them literally nothing to go on. it is incredibly disarming. they are used to people having some response. they know they can't prove what they're saying, and maybe! treats them like the child they are. it dismisses them in the politest way possible.

i like to say maybe! and then, in their stunned silence, immediately change the subject. this is because i have adhd and i will have something unrelated to talk about, but if you can't think of topics fast enough, i recommend just pointing to something and saying, "isn't that lovely?" because fuck you let's bring in some positivity.

by the way. that second trick - of pointing to something and stating an opinion about it? - that just works on its own, like, 70% of the time. i picked it up from teaching preschoolers. it's an intentional "redirect". it stops children crying and it also stops grown adults from finishing their explanation on why women belong in kitchens. dual wielding!

keep it silly for yourself. i absolutely do not care if people think i'm fucking stupid (it's more fun if they do) and as a result i will purposefully misunderstand things just to see how long it takes them to realize i've completely removed them from the subject at hand. when they say "women aren't funny" i get to be like. "which women." "all women." "all women in america?" "no in the world." "like the mole people? the people in the world?" "what? no. like, alive." "oh are we not counting the mole people?" "what the fuck are you talking about." "you don't believe in the mole people?"

similarly, i play a personal game called "one up me." my Evil Acquaintance literally knows this game exists (my family & friends caught onto it and now also play it) and it always fucking gets him. i don't know why. you have to be willing to be a little free-spirited on this one, though. the trick is that when they make one of those horrible little bigoted or annoying comments they are always making, you need to go one unit weirder. not more intense, mind you - just more weird. "you don't look good in that dress." "yeah, actually, my other dress was covered in squid ink due to a mishap at the soup store." "you shouldn't wear such revealing clothes." "wait, what? oh shit. sorry, your son tears off strips when no one is looking and eats them. i swear it was longer before we left the building."

the point of "one up me" is to completely upend this person's narrative. we both know this person likes setting up situations where you cannot "win" and then they really like telling other people how badly you handled it. in a usual situation, if you respond "please don't say something that rude", you're a bitch. but if you let it happen, you're letting yourself be debased. they are not usually expecting door number three: unflappably odd. because what are they going to say when they're telling everyone how badly you behaved? "she said my son eats her dresses" ".... okay?"

if you can, form an allyship with someone whomst you can tagteam with. where they can pick up on your weird "soup store" story and run with it.

the following phrase is amazing and can be deployed for any situation: "oh, be nice :) it's the holidays!" i do not know why this works as often as it does. i'll say it for the most random shit. i think this is bc most of the time these people know they're being impolite, they just like to fight.

godbless. when in doubt, remember that you could always start stealing their pens.

the whole point of this is - if you can't escape. maybe see how long you can just be. like. a horrible little menace.

#this is objectively bad advice #don't listen to it protect yourself and do real work on yourself find one of the good posts i've made about this #but also. u know. if u want to have fun while u do the work of setting boundaries #.... it IS fun #i will say that my fear of him went SO down after i just started. fucking with him. #bc i used to get SO fucking upset #i'd spend WEEKS arguing with him. tearing my hair out. sick with anxiety and dread and anger about all of it #and now i just LITERALLY do not engage #instead i'm like '' haha :) mole people" and get the HELL out of any tense conversation #i kind of think some of these people are literally addicted to drama as a form of connection #they like the rush they get from arguing #but those arguments are incredibly damaging for me #so like..... i am in the process of literally rehabilitating this person to figure out how to find connection thru #NORMAL CONVERSATION #he doesn't get it yet #i also do talk to them like they're preschool kids lmafo . ''are you using a safe and kind voice right now?'' #'' do you need a snackie? you sound a little upset. let's have some hummus and come back to playtime when we feel ready''

[captain-flint]

x

#our flag means death #ofmd #ofmdedit #ofmd s2 spoilers #blackbonnet #blackbonnetedit #gentlebeard #gentlebeardedit #edward teach #blackbeard #stede bonnet #taika waititi #rhys darby #literally what do i do with this #WHAT DO I DO WITH ANY OF IT #THERE'S TOO MUCH STUFF MY BRAIN REFUSES TO PROCESS IT #im not even capable of reblogging things yet bc my chest feels like i've been gargling and swallowing glass #i keep having to get up and just walk in circles #i've hyperventilated 73 times since yesterday #i knew david was gonna give us everything we ever wanted but that doesn't mean i was ready to see any of it #anyway i just needed this in the highest resolution on my blog #my stuff

[likegoldintheair]

the way buck went from looking over his shoulders worried people were watching to reaching for tommy's hand in a public space is everything to me because it might look like a small gesture to anyone on the outside but i just know buck's heart was beating a mile a minute because not only had tommy agreed to meet up with him again after that disastrous date but he had also just admitted that he was still interested and that yes he would love to be buck's plus one at the wedding and buck wants to kiss him but they're out in public and that's one thing he's not quite ready for yet but maybe he's ready for something else so he reaches out and places his hand on top of tommy's and he brushes his thumb over the back of his hand and maybe taking things slow and in his own pace isn't so scary after all

#evan buckley #tommy kinard #bucktommy #911 abc #911 spoilers #okay i'm done feeling things now #i need to get ready for work

[linktoo-doodles]

boy you stim too tough. your special interest too different. your autism is too bad. theyll kill you

og sketch and quote

#laius thorden #laios touden #dungeon meshi #my art #Linktoo art #I have a lot of art doodles for this series already so 🙏 get ready!!!! #as an east asian person #dungeon meshi feels like home

[yesloulou]

when ur murderous puppy dog of an ex-boyf defends ur honor or something

#do you feel favored by him daniel #daniel ricciardo #max verstappen #f1 #maxiel #* #** #hungarian gp 2023 #max getting very agitated in first gif 😵‍💫 #imagine you're daniel getting ready to answer a stupid and inflammatory question and then your #(friend? colleague? ex-teammate? the one that got away?) interrupts and calls them out for you #something something realizing you'll never have to be alone

[eyesthecolorofarson]

The Demon Children

Dp x DC AU where both Jazz and Danny are Al Ghuls. Born Jasmina and Danyal, their primary caretaker is the Fenton couple. They grow close with them, and when Jasminas training starts when she’s seven her surrogate parents can’t stand to see her go through such brutality. So, five hours after her first lesson, they take her and three year old Danyal far, far away from the Leauge to a town that doesn’t let anybody in or out.

Talia is pissed when she finds out. All those years, wasted. Not only had Bruce declined her offer to join the LOA, but her two best bargaining tools had been stolen. In a fit of rage she orders the geneticist that had created Jasmina and Danyal to use their DNA as well as her and Bruce’s to Frankenstein create a new child. She decides to go from absent to the point of nonexistent to helicopter parent with her new tool, Damien.

Meanwhile Jasmina now Jasmine and Danyal now Daniel grow up with their eccentric but loving parents as normal as two children of mad ghost scientists can be. They learn how to fight with non-Leauge moves, they grow their own interests and grow as people, and when Phantom is revealed to be Danny his parents welcome him with open arms. He’s been their son this long. Why give him up now? Their complete lack of surprise is suspicious to Jazz, but she lets it go. She has more important things to think about, like collage.

Meanwhile a few years after Damien goes to live with Bruce they find out somehow that not only does Damien have two older blood siblings, meaning that with his adopted siblings and his age he’s mega last in line for the mantle, but he was created using freak-amalgamation genetic manipulation to replace not one but two people all for the purpose of being a weapon.

#dc x dp crossover #damian wayne #danny phantom #jasmine fenton #fenton family #batfamily #dp x dc prompt #al ghul family #Batfamily having a crisis because who took them #Where are they #are they safe #Meanwhile the Fentons #Getting ready for collage #Getting ready for senior year #Discovering awesome things about ghosts #Generally just feeling good

[toytulini]

listen im ace and im pro kink at pride and whatever, but the way some of yall are wording your posts in response to the backlash against it is uh. really taking me back to the ace shitcourse era.

yall know theres nothing wrong with being a "virgin", right? that its not inherently shameful to have not had sex, to never have sex, even if youre not ace, even if you do want to have sex someday, like, its fine that you haven't had sex?

maybe if your problem is that theyre trying to police your behavior and shame you for expressing your sexuality, you can say that? instead of resorting to "haha stupid virgin gets no bitches" like my god. do you not hear how fucking regressive that attitude is? i know, i know, youre "joking".

get a better joke

#toy txt post #god im going to regret this post im gonna regret it so much i can feel it in my bones #let it flop..........pls #internalize my message let it sink in and understand what i am saying and then let the post flop #i say. knowing the ppl who need to see such a message are the ones who will make me regret this post and regrwt not having #1 million bajillion disclaimers #virgin is in quotes bc its a bullshit made up stupid purity culture concept anyway and quite frankly i hate even seeing the word #disclaimer: the previous sentence is not me saying that it is a slur for asexuals. it is me a single individual saying this specific word #grosses me out to read and see everywhere when its a stupid bullshit binary made up or at least historically largely used #to shame largely women and i dont know why we're still using it in 2023 #and ive just been. seeing such an uptick in this whole like. attitude? lately and like #im ace im minorly sex repulsed. mostly about anything sex at me bad. other adults sex at each other consensually? go wild #i like to think im pretty chill about it. i try to be. i think its fine ig to be like 'my meat is huge i fuck so much so good' #like okay not my thing but good for you. love that for you #but then some of yall have started turning it back around back to. 'haha your meat so small and shriveled you get no bitches' #'haha stupid incel virgin' like okay. didnt realize we all went back to fucking. middle school but okay #god im gonna run out of tine to get ready for my thing writing this stupid post UGH evil #but like idk we've kinda circled back to being like haha being a virgin still is stupid and silly and shameful #and if im quite honest. i do think the acecourse played a part in that bc i felt like we were making good progress in like #hey guys is fine to not have sex ever if you dont want to its fine to not want sex its fine #and then aphobes went fucking rabid on us and splintered and destroyed online communities all over but especially on tumblr #and so many aces went back in the closet we stopped talking about it we stopped spreading awareness and now this stupid goddamn like #and now this stupid bullshit attitude is back where its like funny to call someone a virgin as an insult but like no bro trust me its okay #its okay for me to do it bc im a hot queer person with huge meat instead of a cisstraight frat bro with huge meat #? like you know the issue was the behavior right? not the fact that it was straight dudes saying it? its bc the thing being said was shitty? #you know you can dunk on the puritan bitches trying to police your behavior at pride without getting us as collateral damage right #stop making me read that stupid ugly ass word ur not cool or funny #whatever #if you come on to this post to start shit i will not only block you but as many of your mutuals and followers as i can find. i will scroll #i will block this entire fucking website if i need to do not test me. i am exhausted and the acecourse ate up all my tolerance in 2015.

[lucky-fy]

For the Laicion nation (aka, me and three other people)

I had this illustration commissioned (a big thank you to @lunehowls) for my werewolf AU Laicion fic (still a WIP).

The general pitch is as follows :

AU in which Laios never got to meet his sister again, putting his life on a whole other path, a more desperate one. A military deserter with barely a coin to his name, Laios hitches a ride on a boat to one of the elven continents, where he learns about magical tattoos that binds one’s soul to a wolf’s, effectively making them artificial werewolves. Illegal magic be damned, this feels like the answer to… everything.

In the process, he learns about the existence of an illegal fighting ring in one of the elven cities, where beastmen gladiators gather. Freshly tattooed and without anywhere else to go to, Laios decides to head there, where he meets Lycion, an elf and artificial werewolf gladiator. If they first bond over a simple shared meal, by spending time together (sharing the same room in the barracks, maybe the same bed? gasp) they find that they have a lot in common, notably a shared distaste for the body they were born in, a dysphoria partially remedied by becoming a werewolf.

They bond :)

#dungeon meshi #laios touden #lycion #laicion #I'm heads deep in research regarding Ancient Rome gladiators... and loving it. Really fascinating stuff. #I bemoan the fact that most papers are locked behind a paywall (though I found one that gives a free pdf access) #(and no. Sci-hub is not an option. It's blocked in my country) #I'm also re-reading DunMeshi and taking notes to get a better grasp of Laios and Lycion as characters. Character studies if you will #and I still need to fully outline the fic #I know where I'm starting (struggling to choose a POV for that first chapter LOL) and where I'm ending so there's that #and a bunch of disconnected scenes (as we all do ahaha) #anyway. Doing all of this while studying for veterinary school. It's hard. I feel guilty whenever I'm not studying... #let's just say I don't expect the prep work for the fic to be ready before this summer (+ I need to finish the Kuro cosplay for Japan Expo) #hopefully; once it's done; I'll be able to set a schedule and write smoothly #werewolf #werewolf laios #rarepair

[lover-of-mine]

#911 #911edit #buddie #buddieedit #911 fox #911 abc #911 on fox #evan buckley #eddie diaz #my edit #otp: you don't need to pretend with me #1k #honestly ive been thinking about this since the lightning #because yes eddie had no idea the tsunami was gonna happen and the same way it wasnt Bucks fault it wasnt eddie #but this is the guy that asked for a sign about what to do about his wife and she died #then he tried to force his best friend to do something he wasnt ready for and he almost died too #and yes therapy eddie is better with his own feelings but i wonder if it crossed his mind #because maddie probably tried to get him into the keep buck distracted rotation #and he said no probably because he knew buck could need a place to escape to #but still #it could've crossed his mind the consequences of the last time he didnt give buck time #the tsunami the lawsuit all that yk #i dont know i just want to put the thought somewhere #it makes sense that eddie would wait him out after the previous moments with buck and death #anyway #yeah

[mistykaru]

inner thoughts :>

#aftg #andreil #the foxhole court #all for the game #my art #drawing andrew as the lil hamster meme brought a joy that i wasnt ready for #as i keep looking at this im getting the worry that someone else has done the thing #pls i dont see everything but also maybe i did idK my brain is bad !!! #but i do get this feeling with literally everything i make #and you know what even if someone else did do it it's just twO cakES

[dizzybizz]

sleepy gill and gill with the bubbled evil cat

#hi remember when i thought i was in for a really bad bout of hsr fixation. lets see how thats going.. lets just check in and #oh . oh no. oh this was. this wasnt the plan. oh no #just roll with it #jrwi riptide #gillion tidestrider #gill in pjs got to me ok. gill fighting in pjs got to me. the thought of gill sleeping in a barrel of water with pjs on got to me. #wheni tell you this fkn podcast is the only thing ive been thinking abt for the past few days dude what thef uck #theyre all so stupid they get up to so much bs its fkn great i lvoe the three of them so mcuh WHEHhghh >:'O #my art #i keep nearly forgetting that tag help??? #ive slowly been getting used to drawing them jsut you wait til i feel good abt the designs n shit ok its gonna be epic or smth #oop s its 1am soon whoopsies ehehee but like ..... the dumbasses... theyre in my head.. #there are so many stupid scenes i want to draw 😭😭😭😭😭 #im sorry to. my friends. for jsut . yknow. and everyone really #i wasnt ready for this 😭 idk what happened i just started going through eps so quickly all of a sudden and ive gone through like 12 eps in #2-3 days and i feel absolutely insane and i think abt them so much. theyve taken up all my time help

[thelaurenshippen]

hey! thanks for checking in! yeah, I know it's been ten years since captain america: the winter soldier came out but, yeah, I'm still thinking about it. I mean, at least now it only occupies, like, 40% of my thoughts daily but...what did you say? is it permanent? yeah, so far

#catws #the winter soldier #stucky #YEAH IT'S BEEN TEN YEARS PEOPLE HOW WE FEELING #get ready for me to reblog some stuff lol

[simplyavatrice]

their relationship is very important to me

#ava silva #chanel #warrior nun #warriornunedit #avasilvaedit #alba baptista #may simón lifschitz #like think of how desperate ava was to be accepted and loved #and tho it isn't a lot #this moment here where chanel takes the time to help her get ready #to tell her she's pretty and worthy of someone's time #look at how happy ava is #feeling like the girl she's always wanted to be for the very first time #so yeah #this friendship will forever be a part of my fics in some way #myedits

[prettyboysdontlookatexplosions]

i feel like this year a lot of dracula takes have focused in an interesting way on the ways that the horror of dracula includes how he makes his victims be or at least feel complicit in their own victimization. some of this is supernatural vampire stuff like the prohibition against entering uninvited or the ways that vampiric hypnotism seems to include as part of its nightmarish quality the experience of a desire that you don’t actually have, which we see the vampire ladies exert on jonathan in the castle and can extrapolate as a drac-power as well. but a lot of it is the straight up weird psychological manipulations and power play dracula does to jonathan in the castle - the emphasis on “enter freely and of your own free will,” all the little moments of dialogue where he makes something jonathan’s fault or purports to presume jonathan’s desires in a way that leaves no room for jonathan to dissent. it’s a kind of horror that still rings as genuinely unsettling today because it remains an unfortunately familiar and very human kind of violation. and actually even the more magical vampire stuff translates pretty easily to a metaphor for familiar human experiences, right? how many people in the midst of a traumatic event have frozen, like jonathan does when the ladies set upon him, and felt the shame afterwards of their inability to fight against what was unfolding? (cw sexual assault) it’s also well attested to that human bodies sometimes react in situations of sexual assault/abuse with physical responses that overlap with those that accompany consensual sexual experiences, something survivors of sexual violence have spoken about as part of what can make it so difficult to emotionally process what happened - and that’s not even getting into situations of coerced consent or other forms of manipulation that result in experiences only recognized as nonconsensual in retrospect and often with much difficulty and doubt.

anyway. it’s a really rich vein in the novel for me on this reread and i’m grateful for all the posts pointing out the count’s language games in particular, which didn’t jump out at me but once my attention was drawn i couldn’t stop seeing them. but while i am on principle neutral about any individual adaptation doing Whatever with the material, tracking this aspect of the novel’s horror has given me a new dimension of But Why for the sheer prevalence of adaptational choices and academic analyses that have looked at a novel that so viscerally captures so many aspects of violation and gone, “but don’t you think she kinda wanted it?” or even that have looked at dracula’s choice of victims and tried to find or place in them some appeal or weakness inherent in their essences rather than their status as victims of opportunity and vulnerability and dracula’s ability to use them to demonstrate his own power and control, which is how he operates in the novel and which is also an extremely strong parallel for how serial predators operate in the actual world. like any individual movie or retelling or whatever can do whatever it wants, but it is hard to look at the ways the contours of the story as “known” through cultural osmosis have morphed across the century-plus of its popularity and not feel like the versions of it that have lingered have done so in ways that ultimately tone down the horror by placing it more in line with many common cultural misapprehensions about abuse & sexual violence.

#feel like this is not unrelated to my Jonathan Is Too Human To Be A Man In This Culture hypothesis but i can’t quite make the link work #and i gotta get ready for work #dracula daily

[glitterghost]

Being ace can be pretty isolating at various times, for varying reasons that I don't feel like I have to explain because if you are ace, you probably get it.

#asexual #ace #pride #vague post but you know..*gestures to nothing* #i dont think i even need to expand on this #aromantic #could be thrown into this as well #things are just sometimes frustrating when people dont get it #if you read tags cook bc here we go a bit #there is always this talk of being left behind or being forgotten about or whatever #and yeah its true and when things happening almost in succession that makes it even more aware and apparent that yeah you kinda do get left #behind a bit* #so many ppl want marriage and or kids and its like #what about the people that want to hold on to things as they currently are? #to friends and books and cats and fictional feelings #and the way some ppl you know talk about how people gradual drift apart? #like thats a full on decision #thats not always a mutual thing #people leave at times and another person that might not be ready to end that connection with a person has to navigate their way through it #on their own #but like society is so weird to people that dont want the predictable life path #as you get older questions become are you married #do you have kids like its expected #where are the questions like whats the latest book youve read #whats your current favorite fandom #what makes you happy or brings you joy or whats a good thing about today? #not sure where im cycling down into with this bc theres too much to touch on #but not everyone wants sex or kids or marriage or crippling responsibilities of adulthood #sometimes we just want a hobbit hole to disappear into #a friend to text or pizza to eat or something funny to laugh at