#and now i just LITERALLY do not engage

[inkskinned]

there are a lot of posts out there that are positive and healthy coping mechanisms for handling the holidays. this is not one of them :)

i think there's like. going to be times in your life you will be stuck in a social situation that you cannot escape from gracefully. i do not know why the internet doesn't believe these times exist. it's not always just that your physical safety is at risk - sometimes it's legit like "i just don't currently have the energy or time to put in the effort of responding to this." sometimes it's a coworker you hate so much. sometimes it's just like, fine, you know? like you know you can handle your aunt when she's cheerily horrible, but if you actually set a boundary around her, it's going to be weeks of fallout with your father.

i don't know why people think the answer is always just "cut them out!" or "don't let them get away with that!" because ... the real world is tricky and complicated. i think kind of a lot of us have an internal "radiation poisoning" meter for certain people. like - i'm talking about the ones who are absolutely giving you gradual ick damage. like, you can handle them, but you'll be exhausted.

and yes. you absolutely should listen to your therapist and the good posts about handling others and set good boundaries and take care of yourself. prioritize peace.

HOWEVER :) ...... since im often in a situation with a Gradual Sense of Ick person i cannot just "cut out" of my life (without losing someone else precious to me) - i have sort of developed the most. maladaptive form of mischief possible. because like, if i'm going to have to listen to this shit again, i like to have a little bit of private fun with it.

now! again, i am physically safe, just mentally drained by this man. you should only do this with people you are not in danger with. which leads me to my suggestions for when your Unfortunate Acquaintance shows up and says oh everyone pay attention to me.

my favorite word is "maybe!" said as brightly and happily as possible. whenever the Horrible Person starts in on a topic you do not want to go further with, particularly if they make a claim that you know to be inaccurate, do not respond to it. you and i have both tried to actually argue with this person, and it hasn't gone well, because this person just wants the drama of an argument. however, "maybe!" gives them literally nothing to go on. it is incredibly disarming. they are used to people having some response. they know they can't prove what they're saying, and maybe! treats them like the child they are. it dismisses them in the politest way possible.

i like to say maybe! and then, in their stunned silence, immediately change the subject. this is because i have adhd and i will have something unrelated to talk about, but if you can't think of topics fast enough, i recommend just pointing to something and saying, "isn't that lovely?" because fuck you let's bring in some positivity.

by the way. that second trick - of pointing to something and stating an opinion about it? - that just works on its own, like, 70% of the time. i picked it up from teaching preschoolers. it's an intentional "redirect". it stops children crying and it also stops grown adults from finishing their explanation on why women belong in kitchens. dual wielding!

keep it silly for yourself. i absolutely do not care if people think i'm fucking stupid (it's more fun if they do) and as a result i will purposefully misunderstand things just to see how long it takes them to realize i've completely removed them from the subject at hand. when they say "women aren't funny" i get to be like. "which women." "all women." "all women in america?" "no in the world." "like the mole people? the people in the world?" "what? no. like, alive." "oh are we not counting the mole people?" "what the fuck are you talking about." "you don't believe in the mole people?"

similarly, i play a personal game called "one up me." my Evil Acquaintance literally knows this game exists (my family & friends caught onto it and now also play it) and it always fucking gets him. i don't know why. you have to be willing to be a little free-spirited on this one, though. the trick is that when they make one of those horrible little bigoted or annoying comments they are always making, you need to go one unit weirder. not more intense, mind you - just more weird. "you don't look good in that dress." "yeah, actually, my other dress was covered in squid ink due to a mishap at the soup store." "you shouldn't wear such revealing clothes." "wait, what? oh shit. sorry, your son tears off strips when no one is looking and eats them. i swear it was longer before we left the building."

the point of "one up me" is to completely upend this person's narrative. we both know this person likes setting up situations where you cannot "win" and then they really like telling other people how badly you handled it. in a usual situation, if you respond "please don't say something that rude", you're a bitch. but if you let it happen, you're letting yourself be debased. they are not usually expecting door number three: unflappably odd. because what are they going to say when they're telling everyone how badly you behaved? "she said my son eats her dresses" ".... okay?"

if you can, form an allyship with someone whomst you can tagteam with. where they can pick up on your weird "soup store" story and run with it.

the following phrase is amazing and can be deployed for any situation: "oh, be nice :) it's the holidays!" i do not know why this works as often as it does. i'll say it for the most random shit. i think this is bc most of the time these people know they're being impolite, they just like to fight.

godbless. when in doubt, remember that you could always start stealing their pens.

the whole point of this is - if you can't escape. maybe see how long you can just be. like. a horrible little menace.

#this is objectively bad advice #don't listen to it protect yourself and do real work on yourself find one of the good posts i've made about this #but also. u know. if u want to have fun while u do the work of setting boundaries #.... it IS fun #i will say that my fear of him went SO down after i just started. fucking with him. #bc i used to get SO fucking upset #i'd spend WEEKS arguing with him. tearing my hair out. sick with anxiety and dread and anger about all of it #and now i just LITERALLY do not engage #instead i'm like '' haha :) mole people" and get the HELL out of any tense conversation #i kind of think some of these people are literally addicted to drama as a form of connection #they like the rush they get from arguing #but those arguments are incredibly damaging for me #so like..... i am in the process of literally rehabilitating this person to figure out how to find connection thru #NORMAL CONVERSATION #he doesn't get it yet #i also do talk to them like they're preschool kids lmafo . ''are you using a safe and kind voice right now?'' #'' do you need a snackie? you sound a little upset. let's have some hummus and come back to playtime when we feel ready''

[demigod-of-the-agni]

Spider-Man India, but... where from India?

A SUPER long post featuring talks of: cultural identity, characterisation, the caste system, and what makes Spider-Man Spider-Man.

I’m prefacing this by saying that I am a second-generation immigrant. I was born in Australia, but my cultural background is from South India. My experiences with what it means to be “Indian” is going to be very different from the experiences of those who are born and brought up in India.

If you, reader, want to add anything, please reblog and add your thoughts. This is meant to be a post open for discussion — the more interaction we get, the better we become aware of these nuances.

So I made this poll asking folks to pick a region of India where I would draw Pavitr Prabhakar in their cultural wear. This idea had been on my mind for a long while now, as I had been inspired by Annie Hazarika’s Northeastern Spidey artwork in the wake of ATSV’s release, but never got the time to actually do it until now. I wanted to get a little interactive and made the poll so I could have people choose which of the different regions — North, Northeast, Central, East, West, South — to do first.

The outcome was not what I expected. As you can see, out of 83 votes:

THE RESULTS

South India takes up almost half of all votes (44.6%), followed by Northeast and Central (both 14.5%) and then East (13.3%). In all my life growing up, support towards or even just the awareness of South India was pretty low. Despite this being a very contained poll, why would nearly half of all voters pick South India in favour of other popular choices like Central or North India?

Then I thought about the layout of the poll: Title, Options, Context.

Title: "Tell us who you want to see…"

Options: North, Northeast, Central, East, West, South

Context: I want to make art of the boy again

At first I thought: ah geez. this is my fault. I didn't make the poll clear enough. do they think I want them to figure out where Pavitr came from? That's not what I wanted, maybe I should have added the context before the options.

Then I thought: ah geez. is it my fault for people not reading the entire damn thing before clicking a button? That's pretty stupid.

But regardless, the thought did prompt a line of thinking I know many of us desi folk have been considering since Spider-Man India was first conceived — or, at least, since the announcement that he was going to appear in ATSV. Hell, even I thought of it:

Where did Spider-Man India come from?

FROM A CULTURALLY DIVERSE INDIA

As we know, India is so culturally diverse, and no doubt ATSV creators had to take that into account. Because the ORIGINAL Spider-Man India came from Mumbai — most likely because Mumbai and Manhattan both started with the same letter.

But going beyond that, it’s also because Mumbai is one of the most recognisable cities in India - it’s also known as Bombay. It’s where Bollywood films are shot. It’s where superstar Hindi actors and actresses show up. Mumbai is synonymous with India in that regard, because the easiest way Western countries can interact with Indian culture is through BOLLYWOOD, through HINDI FILMS, through MUMBAI. Suddenly, India is Mumbai, India is a Hindi-only country, India is just this isolated thing we see through an infinitely narrow lens.

We’ve gotten a little better in recent years, but boy I will tell you how uncomfortable I’ve gotten when people (yes, even desi people) come up to me and tell me, Oh, you’re Indian right? Can you speak Hindi? Why don’t you speak Hindi? You’re not Indian if you don’t speak Hindi, that’s India’s national language!

I have been — still am — so afraid of telling people that I don’t speak Hindi, that I’m Tamil, that I don’t care that Hindi is India’s “national” language (it’s an administrative language, Kavin, get your fucking facts right). It’s weird, it’s isolating, and it has made me feel like I wasn’t “Indian” enough to be accepted into the group of “Indian” people.

So I am thankful that ATSV went out of their way to integrate as much variety of Indian culture into the Mumbattan sequence. Maybe that way, the younger generation of desi folk won’t feel so isolated, and that younger Western people will be more open to learning about all these cultural differences within such a vast country.

BUT WHAT DOES THIS HAVE TO DO WITH SPIDER-MAN INDIA?

Everything, actually. There’s a thing called supremacy. You might have heard of it. We all engaged with it at some point, and if you are Indian, no matter where you live, it is inescapable.

It happens the moment you are born — who your family is, where you are born, the language you speak, the colour of your skin; these will be bound to you for life, and it is nigh impossible to break down the stereotypes associated with them.

Certain ethnic groups will be more favourable than others (Centrals, and thus their cultures, will always be favoured over than Souths, as an example) and the same can be said for social groups (Brahmins are more likely to secure influential roles in politics or other areas like priesthood, while the lowers castes, especially Dalits, aren’t even given the decency of respect). Don’t even get me started on colourism, where obviously those of fairer skin will win the lottery while those of darker skin aren’t given the time of day. It’s even worse when morality ties into it — “lighter skinned Indians, like Brahmins, embody good qualities like justice and wisdom”, “dark skinned Indians are cunning and poor, they are untrustworthy”. It’s fucking nuts.

This means, of course, you have a billion people trying to make themselves heard in a system that tries to crush everyone who is not privileged. It only makes sense that people want to elevate themselves and break free from a society that refuses to acknowledge them. These frustrations manifest outwardly, like in protests, but other times — most times — it goes unheard, quietly shaping your way of life, your way of thinking. It becomes a fundamental part of you, and it can go unacknowledged for generations.

So when you have a character like Pavitr Prabhakar enter the scene, people immediately latch onto him and start asking questions many Western audiences don’t even consider. Who is he? What food does he eat? What does he do on Fridays? What’s his family like, his community? All these questions pop up, because, amidst all this turmoil going on in the background, you want a mainstream popular character to be like you, who knows your way of life so intimately, that he may as well be a part of your community.

BUT THAT'S THE THING — HE'S FICTIONAL

I am guilty of this. In fact, I’ve flaunted in numerous posts how I think he’s the perfect Tamil boy, how he dances bharatanatyam, how he does all these Tamil things that no one will understand except myself. All these niche things that only I, and maybe a few others, will understand.

I’ve seen other people do it, too. I’ve seen people geek out over his dark brown skin, his kalari dhoti, how he fights so effortlessly in the kalaripayattu martial arts style. I’ve seen people write him as Malayali, as Hindi, as every kind of Indian person imaginable.

I’ve also seen him be written where he’s subjected to typical Indian and broader Asian stereotypes. You know the ones I’m so fond of calling out. The thing is, I’ve seen so much of Pavitr being presented in so many different ways, and I worry how the rest of the desi folk will take it. 

You finally have a character who could be you, but now he’s someone else’s plaything. Your entire life is shaped by what you can and can’t do simply because you were born to an Indian family, and here’s the one person who could represent you now at the mercy of someone else’s whims. He’s off living a life that is so distant from yours, you can hardly recognise him.

It shouldn’t hurt as much as it does, yeah? But, again, you’re looking at it from that infinitely narrow lens Westerners use to look at India from Bollywood.

AND PAVITR PRABHAKAR DOESN'T LIVE IN INDIA

He lives in Mumbattan. He lives in a made-up, fictional world that doesn’t follow the way of life of our world. He lives in a city where Mumbai and Manhattan got fucking squashed together. There are so many memes about colonialism right there. Mumbattan isn’t real! Spider-Man India isn’t real!! He’s just a dude!! The logic of our world doesn’t apply to him!!!

“But his surname originates from ______” okay but does that matter?

“But he’s wearing a kalari dhoti so surely he’s ______” okay but does that matter?

“But his skin colour is darker so he must be ______” okay but does that matter?

“But he lives in Mumbai so he must be ______” okay but does that matter?

I sound insensitive and brash and annoying and it looks like I’m yapping just for the sake of riling you up, so direct that little burst of anger you got there at me, and keep reading.

Listen. I’m going to ask you a question that I’ve asked myself a million times over. I want you to answer honestly. I want you to ask this question to yourself and answer honestly:

Are you trying to convince me on who Pavitr Prabhakar should be?

... but why shouldn't i?

I’ll tell you this again — I did the same thing. You’re not at fault for this, but I want you to just...have a little think over. Just a little moment of self-reflection, to think about why you are so intent on boxing this guy.

It took me a while to reorganise my thinking and how to best approach a character like Pavitr, so I will give you all the time you need as well as a little springboard to focus your thoughts on.

SPIDER-MAN (INDIA) IS JUST A MASK

“What I like about the costume is that anybody reading Spider-Man in any part of the world can imagine that they themselves are under the costume. And that’s a good thing.”

Stan Lee said that. Remember how he was so intent on making sure that everybody got the idea that Spider-Man as an entity is fundamentally broken without Peter Parker there to put on the suit and save the day? That ultimately it was the person beneath the mask, no matter who they were, that mattered most?

Spider-Man India is no less different. You can argue with me that Peter Parker!Spidey is supposed to represent working class struggles in the face of leering corporate entities who endanger the regular folk like us, and so Pavitr Prabhakar should also function the same way. Pavitr should also be a working class guy of this specific social standing fighting people of this other social standing.

But that takes away the authenticity of Spider-Man India. Looking at him through the Peter Parker lens forces you to look at him through the Western lens, and it significantly lessens what you can do with the character — suddenly, it’s a fight to be heard, to be seen, to be recognised. It’s yelling over each other that Pavitr Prabhakar is this ethnicity, is that caste, this or that, this or that, this or that.

There’s a reason why he’s called Spider-Man India, infuriatingly vague as it is. And that’s the point — the vagueness of his identity fulfils Lee’s purpose for a character that could theoretically be embodied by anyone. If he had been called “Spider-Man Mumbai”, you cut out a majority of the population (and in capitalist terms, you cut out a good chunk of the market).

And in the case of Spider-Man India? Whew — you’ve got about a billion people imagining a billion different versions of him.

Whoever you are, whatever you see in Pavitr, that is what is personal to you, and there is nothing wrong with that, and I will not fault you for it. I will not fault you for saying Pavitr is from Central due to the origins of his last name. I also will not fault you for saying Pavitr is from South due to him practising kalaripayattu. I also will not fault you for saying he is not Hindu. I also will not fault you for saying he is a particular ethnicity without any proof.

What I will fault you for is trying to convince me and the others around you that Pavitr Prabhakar should be this particular ethnicity/have this cultural background because of some specific reason. I literally don’t care and it is fundamentally going against his character, going against the “anyone can wear the mask” sentiment of Spider-Man. By doing this, you are strengthening the walls that first divided us. You’re feeding the stratification and segmentation of our cultures — something that is actually not present in the fictional world of Mumbattan.

Like I said before: Mumbattan isn’t real, so the divides between ethnicities and cultural backgrounds are practically nonexistent. The best thing is that it is visually there for all to see. My favourite piece of evidence is this:

It’s a marquee for a cinema in the Mumbattan sequence, in the “Quick tour: this is where the traffic is” section. It has four titles; the first three are written in Hindi. The fourth title is written in Tamil. You go to Mumbai and you won’t see a single shred of Tamil there, much less any other South Indian language. Seeing this for the first time, you know what went through my head?

Wow, the numerous cultures of India are so intermingled here in Mumbattan! Everyone and everything is welcome!

I was happy, not just because of Tamil representation, but because of the fact that the plethora of Indian cultures are showcased coexisting in such a short sequence. This is India embracing all the little parts that make up its grander identity. This scene literally opened my eyes seeing such beauty in all the diverse cultures thriving together. In a place where language and cultural backgrounds blend so easily, each one complementing one another.

It is so easy to believe that, from this colourful palette of a setting, Pavitr Prabhakar truly is Spider-Man India, no matter where he comes from.

It’s easy to believe that Pavitr can come from any part of India, and I won’t call you out if the origin you have for him is different from the origin I have. You don’t need to stake out territory and stand your ground — you’re entitled to that opinion, and I respect it. In fact, I encourage it!!!

Because there’s only so much you can show in a ten minute segment of a film about a country that has such a vast history and even greater number of cultures. I want to see all of it — I want him to be a Malayali boy, a Hindi boy, a Bengali boy, a Telugu boy, an Urdu boy, whatever!! I want you to write him or draw him immersed in your culture, so that I can see the beauty of your background, the wonderful little things that make your culture unique and different from mine!

And, as many friends have said, it’s so common for Indian folks to be migrating around within our own country. A person with a Maharashtrian surname might end up living in Punjab, and no one really minds that. I’m actually from Karnataka, my family speaks Kannada, but somewhere down the line my ancestors moved to Tamil Nadu and settled down and lived very fulfilling lives. So I don’t actually have the “pure Tamil” upbringing, contrary to popular belief; I’ve gotten a mix of both Kannada and Tamil lifestyles, and it’s made my life that much richer. 

So it’s common for people to “not” look like their surname, if that’s what you’re really afraid about. In fact, it just adds to that layer of nuance, that even despite these rigid identities between ethnicities we as Indian people still intermingle with one another, bringing slivers of our cultures to share with others. Pavitr could just as well have been born in one state and moved around the country, and he happens to live in Mumbattan now. It’s entirely possible and there’s nothing to disprove that.

We don’t need to clamber over one another declaring that only one ethnicity is the “right” ethnicity, because, again, you will be looking at Pavitr and the rest of India in that narrow Western lens — a country with such rich cultural variety reduced to a homogenous restrictive way of life.

THE POLL: REINTERPRETED

This whole thing started because I was wondering why my little poll was so skewed — I thought people assumed I was asking them where he came from, then paired his physical appearance with the most logical options available. I thought it was my fault, that I had somehow influenced this outcome without knowing.

Truth is, I will never really know. But I will be thankful for it, because it gave me the opportunity to finally broach this topic, something that many of us desi folk are hesitant to talk about. I hope you have learned something from this, whether you are desi or a casual Spider-Man fan or someone who just so happened to stumble upon this. 

So just…be a little more open. Recognise that India, like many many countries and nations, is made up of a plethora of smaller cultures. And remember, if you’re trying to convince Pavitr that he’s a particular ethnicity, he’s going to wave his hand at you and say, “Ha, me? No, I’m one of the people that live here in the best Indian city! I’m Spider-Man India, dost!”

(Regardless, he still considers you a friend, because to him, the people matter more to him than you trying to box him into something he’s not.)

#long post + more tags that kinda spiral away BUT expand on the points above AND kinda puts everything together concisely #BROS THIS IS AN HONEST TO GOD ESSAY #THAT HAS BEEN COOKING IN MY HEART FOR A WHILE NOW. SIMMERING FOR MONTHS BEFORE FINALLY BOILING OVER IN THE LAST WEEK #genuinely hope you read MOST of it because yes it has Quite A Lot Of Exposition but it all matters nonetheless #put in a lot of thought into this so i expect you to do your part and challenge your thoughts as well #you see how i'm not asking for you to listen to me. but to actually Think. i want you to cook your thoughts and add some spice and flavour #and give it a good mix so you can come out of this a little more wiser than before #because!!! yeah!!!! spider man india is just that!! he's indian!!!!! we don't need to collectively agree on where he comes from #bc it gets rid of that relatability factor of spider man. at the most basic level #think of it as a schrodinger's. he is every single culture and none of them at the same time. therefore none of us are wrong!! sick!!!! #pavitr's first priority is making sure HIS PEOPLE are safe. that's probably as far as we can go that relates him back to peter parker spide #he loves his people and working in the name of justice to FIGHT for HIS PEOPLE is just the duty/responsibility he takes up #it makes sense that he loves everyone and every culture he engages with bc that's the nature of spider man i suppose #if peter parker spidey acts as the guardian for the regular folk.. then in my mind pavitr spidey stands as the bridge uniting the people #because society as its core is very fragmented. and having pavitr act as a connection to other folks.... mmmmm beautiful #that's what i'm talking abouttttt !!! #anyways guys this is literally 3001 words on my document EXCLUDING THE TITLE. THAT'S 7 PAGES AT 11pt FONT. i'm literally cryingggg wtf #pavitr prabhakar #spider man #spider man india #desi #desiblr #atsv #across the spiderverse #atsv pavitr #indian culture #india #desi tumblr #what the fuck do i tag this as #agnirambles

[katierosefun]

actually as much as i love mike and harvey together. i feel so sad for rachel zane because imagine falling in love with your coworker and then you learn that your coworker is a fake lawyer but not only that, your coworker is a fake lawyer who would literally do anything for his boss. he'll literally leave you at the altar to go to prison for his boss. he'll try to quit his job multiple times but keep coming back because his boss asked him to come back. he'll move to seattle with you, and you'll breathe a sigh of relief because it means that it can finally just be the two of you, but then you learn that he's inviting his stupid former boss to join them. and his stupid former boss agrees. you smile because your husband is so stupid happy at the idea of working with his former boss again, but you've seen this film one too many times before, and you are going to be subject to watching your husband choose his stupid former boss-slash-friend over you again and again and again and again and again and ag

#caroline talks #suits #LIKE? ? ??? rachel zane babes i love u but i hope you've divorced mike ross by now <333 #like i'm so sorry girlie!!! your husband loves u i'm sure but also he's been playing stupid chicken with this guy he's been in love with #for YEARS NOW!!!! #it's also like. uh. you KNOW that harvey wouldn't do anything with mike while mike's married to rachel because of ALL THAT BAGGAGE HE HAS-- #and i don't think mike would ever do anything to harvey because HE knows how much baggage harvey has #like. in my head. yeah they're all living together in seattle and rachel's just like ':/// i need to divorce this man bc we could move to #literally antarctica and mike would still find a way to drag harvey along. #and the crazy thing is that harvey would probably FOLLOW HIM.' #like. the way i'm not even exaggerating what happens in the show too?? ? ? #like we have literal scenes of rachel crying and begging mike to just LET HARVEY GO #and to just CHOOSE HER #and mike is always just like '!!! HOW DARE YOU TELL ME TO GIVE UP ON HARVEY' #and it's like. ilysm mike u crazy silly man <333 but also like. i think it's fairly reasonable of the woman you're marrying #to ask you to choose her over your boss slash buddy. y'know? #like. it's not even like rachel and mike are a cute simple girlfriend-boyfriend. #they are literally ENGAGED and they are literally supposed to START A LIFE TOGETHER-- #and mike is still going ':((( i can't leave harvey behind' like actually rachel babe i am SO SORRY

[xhanisai]

hey lads if you’re not gonna comment on a fic you enjoyed, at least leave a kudos man

#delete later #on like half of the stories i've written on ao3 or more #i don't even get 10% of the viewers leaving kudos on my work and that's just kinda tiring man #we've come so far from the fanfiction.net days where writers solely thrived on comments and private messages to KNOW if their work is well #received by the online people #now you can just press a BUTTON to know that you enjoyed a story and it only takes like half a second! #there are so many people online who are constantly BEGGING everyone to PLEASE comment or review or let them know somehow that you've enjoyed #their work because we get so little feedback often and it is demotivating af #but if you're not gonna comment AT least leave a kudos rather than staying silent and consuming the stories like it's nothing #one thing i loved in the beginning of the ml fandom was how interactive everyone was with fanfics and how it had such a positive status #people were happily reblogging and leaving kudos and commenting LOADS back then #now???? it's literally SILENCE #back when my writing was worse prepandemic i easily got hundreds of kudos in a few days #but now i'm struggling to reach even 200 kudos in three months on my newer oneshots #engagement rate is soooooo bad now and it's demotivating af #i think this is why i prefer to write and send drabbles on discord because people there do respond and react to my works and it gives me the #push to keep going

[finexbright]

.

#anyways since i haven't been controversial on main in a long time #notice niall's promo : using his platform for fan engagement and just focussing on the music and making it drive and take off #like he's been teasing it for some time and then he got his industry friends to do some promo #and he can casually talk about kissing lewis capaldi or 1d or harry or louis or anyone #and how even though he has a quite long term girlfriend never once has that relationship been a focus of things #never once has his private life or any aspect of it been a focus of promo. or even his golf career as a matter of a fact #the story is simple : he is releasing an album and he's gonna talk about music that's it #now notice harry or louis' album cycles : always focus on relationships and private lives and barely any talk about the music #or how to drive that music and make it the main aspect of promo cycle #you can argue that harry is a bigger name and people would care about his private life but like. b/w niall and louis clearly niall is more #known and still he never needs to speak about his relationships or personal lives #you can also look at literally any other artists album cycles : dua lipa. taylor. ariana. lizzo. beyonce. literally anyone #and none of their album cycles revolve around their relationships and private lives #which just goes to show just how much harry/louis' teams want to drive it into everyone's heads that they're straight. when they're not #even zayn!! yeah he's never really in the spotlight but none of his album cycles have revolved around his relationship #including mind of mine which as we all know came out when he was linked to both perrie and gigi #i just find it fascinating how these people came from the same band but their album cycles are so different. #niall's album promo cycle vs harry + louis' album promo cycle and the clear stark difference between them. fascinating

[compacflt]

wip wednesday: going thru my corny arc

#OKAY im back #sorry! working overtime pre paris airshow #i think I’m going to focus on this 80k of wips right now—just get them posted by the end of the summer #but u can keep sending in prompts if u want #and maybe someday I’ll actually be brave/creative enough to finish an AU #1. the frankly inevitable sickfic #2. this shit is so fucking corny but i literally can’t resist it anymore i just want them to say it all the time #3. have been slowly realizing lately that I’ve been slacking on how much the uranium mission probably fucked mav up #4. he is afraid of getting old & dying all over again #top gun #top gun maverick #pete maverick mitchell #tom iceman kazansky #icemav #top gun fanfiction #there’s so much thematic meat to be unpacked with ice’s cancer & eventual death #and I am sacrificing that thematic meat for my own mental health. #so you’re getting my analysis of mav’s death instead because i simply refuse to engage with an unhealthy ice #i know it’s wasted thematic potential & im sorry but i like 😭😭😭😭😭😭 cannot do it #we all have our little neuroses and ice’s death is mine #sorry I’m still in my ‘italicize dialogue to suggest surreality’ phase #i can literally track the very concrete ways my writing style has changed over the course of writing this series it RULES #progress!!!!!

[jisungshotfirst]

why was love for love's sake one of the best kbls ever ....

#literally so happy for woongki that he got to be in something so beautiful and well done #like omg it was Well Done #like I do think kbls have a high standard but because there r more and more of them coming out the standard is both going up and down #and I didn't think this one would be up there but it IS #it's living up there with semantic error and the eighth sense now .... like that is achievement #it was SO CUTE #and so engaging fr like I loved all the characters the plot was FUNCTIONAL 🫶🫶 and was so interesting like I wasn't just there for the smooch #which I can't say about a couple other bls dmjeeisu #but eek yeah that was wonderful #the acting was fantastic from all of them and they worked so well together ..... beautiful #I should've known woongki would only be in the highest standard of projects fr #love for love's sake

[dallonwrites]

bestie how the fuck do you start writing again when you haven't written in years bc you're so paralyzed with Fear of Writing Badly mixed with How Do I Get Started and also WHAT do I write about HELP

I WANT to write but every part of it is. so. DAUNTING

Ohhh bestie I have BEEN there. Whenever I take breaks from writing I find myself scared that I'll have just….forgotten to write?? I think the fear of "bad writing" is amplified when you don't write for a while, however long, because you have to like hype yourself up to go back to writing and it's like what if I do all that and then I just can't do it? Returning to writing, especially after a long time, for me has taken a lot of mental work, trying to understand what will make writing fun and healthy for me. A lot of it, honestly, is easier said than done, but also it's mental work you'll keep doing after you start writing again and as you write, and for me it's easier to process my relationship with writing when I am actually writing.

A big part of that mental work for me, and something I think is so valuable, is to reconsider what "bad" writing is and give yourself permission to write it. Sometimes you will think your writing sucks, happens to all of us, but that isn't all it has to be. Like yeah, I'll think something I wrote sucks, but I still wrote it. I can revisit it and work on it and maybe I'll turn it into something I'm happy with. And even if I don't, I still wrote it, I learned from it. Writing does not need to be "good" by whatever standard we're holding it up to for it to have value. And you can delete it! Nobody has to see it! Also you can have fun writing something and still think it's not your best. I've written a lot of "bad" scenes that I had fun with because the scene was entertaining to me! I love when writing turns out how I like it, or I write a banger prose line, but equally I found it helpful to give myself permission to not worry about that all the time and just focus on my interest/enjoyment in what I'm writing, regardless of the "quality". Again, easier said than done, but something I've found easier the more I write, because you'll have bad writing days but you'll also have writing days that are so good

I know a lot of people see writing as a skill that they want to improve, and like I agree it feels really good to see your writing grow, but writing is so much more than the skill and the craft and the theory. There is no objective "perfection" to reach with writing like we are not Sims with levelled skills LOL. Writing is art and creativity and it should be fun and fulfilling. And IMO, the more you focus on what makes writing fun, you will grow and "improve" as a writer a lot quicker and in a way that is a lot more enjoyable than if you treat writing like some icy quest for perfection. You also get to decide what "good" writing is for you/your story. Some of my stories are more prose focused and I'll play more with language, imagery etc. Others are more about the plot and just having fun imagining this scene. Sometimes it's a mix of both. What is "good" writing depends on the writer, story, genre, etc. There is no one way to write.

I'm rambling a lot because I'm just really passionate about this and I cannot express enough how easier writing got, including all the difficult and ugly and frustrating parts, when I gave space to prioritise my enjoyment and fun. People love to romanticise the idea of the "struggling" writer. I see stuff on here and I'm like you guys….writing should be fun. Like yeah sometimes it's hard and we should talk about that but like, you Need to make sure you are having fun. Anyway I'm going to try not to ramble and bullet point some things that helped me:

Make Writing Fun: Lol! Literally whatever makes writing fun. Sometimes I just write super indulgent scenes and the fun of that sets me up to work on my projects. When I work on my projects I try to find what in each scene I'm going to enjoy the most, and focus on that to help me write the rest. I make playlists, moodboards, memes, art etc for my story because it's fun, and it helps me be engaged with my story outside of writing it. Just, have fun.

On productivity: some people will benefit from setting clear goals and running towards them. Some people don't. For me it depends on my headspace. I don't think productivity is a bad thing, it can feel good, but productivity should not be the only reason you write. And the most productive writing process is whichever one makes writing enjoyable for you, because that's how you'll get words on the page

On that note, please be wary of anyone online who who treats the writing advice they share as Fact. I'm not saying every writing teacher out there does...but some of them market it that way! And creators do not have an authority on writing just because they have a platform however big. There are some AMAZING content creators out there who talk about writing, and I have found them motivating, but like just let yourself be picky about who you listen to/engage with. I say this because I consumed some very Strict writing advice when I was younger and it literally contributed to my years long slump so like...I'm picky now LOL

About goals: Personally, gentle goals are what help me get back into writing. Maybe just write for 20 minutes, or write every day for a couple days. When I do word count goals, I base them on how I feel that day, and recently I don't make a word count, I'll transfer it to the next session but smaller. So if I try to write 500 words but can't I'll say okay, lets try 250 next time. Goals can be a great motivator and way to feel achieved, and maybe bigger goals will help you, but you're also allowed to adjust them as you go to make it easier

On finding new ideas, having been there before, you don't need a fully fleshed out idea to start writing. My longest break I came back to writing with...one character and a backstory? If you have stories/characters already you can revisit them, either build on what you have or completely change it. Or if you don't have that, if there's a piece of media you like you can take that concept and play around with it in your own way, or you can even just write fanfic until you have your own idea (if you want your own idea, fanfic is cool too!) You can even just find a cool pic on pinterest and play around with describing it, writing about it, seeing if you can get anything from that. Ideas are everywhere and they can be tiny, and I think if you have that want to write you Will find your story eventually. All writers have had the Idea struggle, but I think the more you engage with writing and think about what concepts and stories interest you already, the more you'll like train yourself to get ideas

That was very long and maybe a lot but like, I am very passionate about this! I've been in writing "slumps" where I didn't know if I would write again, I've started writing again with no ideas, and in those times all I had was the fact I knew I wanted to write. There are a lot of reasons why we end up having long breaks from writing and it is totally normal, sometimes beneficial for us, and we should never give ourselves a hard time for not writing for however long. But also remember that you can always come back. Every one of us has the capacity to create, whatever that looks like, and you can make it as self indulgent and self serving as you want.

#also a bit on the creators and writing advice thing #I dont think every creator out there who does How To Do X.....is treating what they say as fact. and i dont think that's Bad #i think they're just teaching what they think is valuable info #but like...you're allowed to disagree with it #but I've also encountered people with big platforms who will say shit like if you don't do This Thing you WILL fail in some way #just because THEY had that expreience...or will do writing advice marketed like Harsh Truths For Writers!!! #and like yeah you might find something valuable in that but like it's all marketing!!! they want you to click on their post and engage! #again! not always a bad thing it's how the internet works unfortunately! but sometimes it IS kind of shady lol and you can just ignore it #i'm saying this as someone sharing advice right now. you can disagree with any of this lol #some people share writing advice online and that's literally how they make money or they're using that advice to sell their product #again fair i dont think that's inherently bad but i think just. look at this stuff with a critical eye. people have experience that can be #helpful but NOBODY is an authority on writing #cause unfortunately some people Are capitalising on the fact there are vulnerable writers out there looking for help #putting this extension in the tags because its not so much about starting to write again but i think its important #in regards to engaging with writers spaces. that engagement can be so motivating but you have to set barriers LOL

[meyerlansky]

I have successfully boiled my problem with most of the izzy reads that i hate down to a sentence:

he's not sexually repressed, he's emotionally repressed.

#they are different and ihave paragraphs and paragraphs of thoughts on it #but dressing like a leather daddy and holding your hand over an open flame and literally everything else he does #is not the behavior of a man who doesn't know or realize what gets him going #he's not closeted. he's not homophobic. he thinks having Any Positive Emotion not related to violence makes you vulnerable #[and he's right for his experience and circumstance but i won't touch that now] #his conflict is emotional; ed's ability to captain isn't compromised by his being attracted to a man. it's compromised by Having Feelings. #their ability to survive a world that wants them dead isn't compromised by either of them being queer; it's compromised by being SOFT #by having WEAK SPOTS #pets are a weak spot. lovers are a weak spot. get rid of them to stay safe. not out of spite. #not out of a disdain for those relationships themselves. out of disdain for what Feelings Do To You #idk man maybe i am simply emphatic about this nuance because i get—more than I would like—the impulse to be SAFE #even at the cost of your self and some chances at being happier #he doesn't even care that lucius is gay in the deck scene and i'd go so far as to say he doesn't really care that lucius is slutty #insofar as. like. he doesn't know him and pete are open. from a monogamy-normative perspective it's a betrayal. #your partner being unfaithful when you expect them To Be is ALSO A THING THAT CAN GET YOU KILLED #like idk i just. i think people don't get how much of him is about safety? #and i know the show's created this atmosphere of 'homophobia isn't a real threat' #but they haven't removed the violence and danger crews other than stede face for Other Reasons #so. he's very security-driven. and that's why he speaks to me. #and it's annoying that people just make 'lol izzy's closeted' 'peak homophobic gay' jokes instead of. engaging. with the shit izzy AND ED #went through to make them emotionally closed off the way they are #THE SENTENCE IS A SENTENCE BUT THE EXPLANATION SURE ISNT

[daz4i]

i think that unless you're talking about stuff that's like purposely and maliciously created with the goal of endangering people (e.g. nazi propaganda or cult recruiting etc) you should probably retire the term "irredeemable media". like i don't think this cartoon meant for children or niche webcomic or barely known indie game are as dangerous as you think they are

#even if they do end up harming people somehow. literally any media has that potential if the wrong ppl consume it bestie #it's not a question of media it's a question of literacy #(i say 'wrong people' but like. it's not a person thing. again it's literacy. it's about effort and thought put into it) #my point is. once you start marking every random thing that may contain problematic elements as irredeemable - #- you will never finish. bc that's literally everything in the world. #is this piece of media actually this problematic or do you just dislike it? be honest. #could it be that perhaps you refuse to engage with the text beyond surface level bc it contains a few slurs so you can't see its merits? #(don't get me wrong. it's completely valid to avoid things like that. but as soon as you start condemning fans and creators of the thing - #- that's where you should draw the line. especially ESPECIALLY when talking abt small or indie creations. tho not only) #i have a lot of thoughts on the matter but the tags aren't the place and now isn't the best time for that lol #ik this is a bit controversial tho so like every time i post smth like that. don't fight me or send me hate over this. just block me 🫡

[fuckyeah-bears]

literally exerting sooo much self control and impulse control not to snap back at idiots replying stupid shit on my posts. people are annoying as fuck sometimes. like if you have 'commentary' about how i interact with shit and answer asks, you can literally fuck off. i spend absurd amounts of time trying to be nice and provide specific bears and nice replies to people at their request. and then the one time i get slightly irritated people freak the fuck out and start lecturing me about being 'unprofessional' and 'rude' and 'obnoxious' like im sorry but fuck all the way off. this is fucking tumblr. nothing about tumblr is professional. i don't have to provide y'all with bears. i don't have to make a pinned post to explain myself. newsflash, i already have a pinned post that i'm rather fond of. i don't have to act or respond to things any kind of way. i choose to respond kindly with nice encouraging messages and provide bears, and spend ridiculous amounts of time looking up specific requested bears for people. i choose to do that because i want to make people happy and spread some positivity. i choose to do that because this world is shit as fuck sometimes and i want to create a little space free from drama and negativity where people can enjoy bears and get a little reprieve from this shit ass world and the bullshit of life. i choose to do all that because i want to. but heaven forbid i'm not in the mood 100% of the time to always be perfectly nice and happy and go-lucky. and then i get shits giving me crap over it like i'm somehow obligated to do all this shit for free and always respond exactly the way they desire me to. and it is pissing me the fuck off. because i genuinely put so much effort into bearotonin and trying to make other peoples' lives better in this one tiny small way. i have a life y'all. i have a job and school and an actual adult life with responsibilities. but i choose to do this because i love bears and i think bearotonin is hilarious and making people happy is something that makes me happy. but i don't owe anyone anything, and if you have complaints about the way i comport myself or respond to messages or posts i make, well you can fuck off. i don't want to hear it. you don't need to reblog my posts and tag them with little messages about how you disagree, or write replies/comments saying i should act better or should be expecting this, or send me stupid asks. you can literally keep your negative thoughts to yourself. because people need to fucking realize that your tags are not private. if you put them on a post, the op is going to see them. and in this case, the op is going to be super pissed off by them.

to be clear, 99% of people are awesome and super nice and i love y'all dearly (and this post is absolutely not about you in any way), but the other 1% are really getting on my fucking nerves right now and it is taking a lot of effort to not engage with them directly and tell them to fuck off to their faces

#so yeah i'm vague posting instead #whatever #sorry not sorry for the rant #but this bullshit lately is so insanely annoying #and i'm allowed to be annoyed over it #because i have crap going on in my real life #and i come on tumblr FOR FUN #so it should be fun #not full of pointless dumb drama #i don't care if you're angry or confused about why i say things. just keep it to yourself #i genuinely do not want to see it right now #maybe in like 2 weeks or whatever when i've calmed the fuck down i will engage but right now i'm pissed enough that #unless it's something entirely neutral or positive #i genuinely do not want to hear it #no constructive criticism or helpful suggestion shit #i'm not interested #these are my fucking blogs and if you don't like the way i run them then you can literally unfollow #simple as that #okay i'm done ranting now #sorry to all of y'all who are lovely and kind #you know this post is absolutely not about you at all #not bears #just a rant #bearotonin rants

[evocatiio]

god forbid a woman prioritises her fiancé who's going through withdrawal over a man's feelings

#do you guys hear how damn silly y'all sound??? #'ever since mari came into town Kris doesn't engage in cute scenes with kenny and now im side eyeing get ngl' #LISTEN TO URSELF?????? #y'all just hate gay people frrrr #so unserious #as if ken wasn't being a little bitch for saying his friendship with kris was conditional to her being open to him romantically #mari is not the toxic lesbian y'all want her to be and kristi is not an asshole for anything she's done #ever #literally the second most selfless character in the show #anyway i like kenny! the writers need to stop emotionally kicking him (nothing to with kris and mari) #and i think boyd is the only one who's been unfair to him #but like i dont blame him either #the nightmare purgatory town is simply a pressure cooker #from epix #from mgm #anyway! #ramblings of an insomniac

[willowser]

willow have u ever seen the movie ‘13 going on 30?’ bc i just rewatched it last night and it gave me nerd bakugou brainrot 😩😩

like he’s your neighbor and he’s in love with you but you’re just…. your head is in the clouds and you can’t see what’s right in front of you 🥺 and something brings you crashing down, and you wish yourself into an alternate future, where all the hard, embarrassing teenage years are far behind you and you got everything you thought you wanted.

but— in those skipped-over years, you’d left katsuki behind 🥺 traded movie nights and dnd campaigns with him for parties with the in crowd. it’s funny— the more people see you,, the less you he sees. he barely recognizes you, but it doesn’t stop him from watching from afar. catching glimpses of you through the windows still makes his heart race; watching you get picked up for a date by the goddamn golden boy makes it ache.

going to college is a relief. he’s almost managed to forget about you (except for the occasional comment from his mother that sting less and less as the years pass) until you show up at his doorstep, confused and panicked and calling him by the kiddie nickname he hasn’t heard since you stopped speaking in seventh grade. he has half the mind to take you to the hospital, get you checked for a concussion or retrograde amnesia.

meanwhile… you’re realizing all the things you’ve been longing for aren’t right for you. and chasing after them will condemn you to a life of being lonely and disingenuous. you don’t need to be liked by everyone—you need to be loved by one person. now you just have to find a way to fix it 🥺🥺

🥺🥺🥺

#literally NOTHING add to this because i'm so obsessed with it alfjahgahga #as usual JORDAN YOU ARE MY MUSE #i'm SICK in the head over this #nerd bakugou STOOOPPPP #especially if he's engaged to someone else #i'm actually crying real literal tears right now jordan i'm going insane #you spend the week together and something silly probably happens like he loses all his contacts and has to wear his glasses again #and suddenly you two are just how you always were — just in a different time #a wrong time #literally jordan i am digging my own grave how could you do this to me WAAAAAHHHH #why are you always such a genius #✿ ask willow #✿ recs

[yarrowleef]

as this continues to be relevant yeah idk I just think this whole RiverClan nonsense conflict would have been less annoying for me to read if RiverClan had actually descended into true chaos. a situation like Redscar’s field guide story where several cats try to claim authority. but in this case, it goes beyond just two cats fighting and the clan starts splitting into mini factions supporting one self-appointed candidate or the other. the problem being presented as “we all forgot how to do chores without a teacher permission slip :(” is so weird and lame. give me blood shed eat each other alive so i believe your plight ffs!!! 

#warrior cats #asc #yarrow speaks #a starless clan #warrior cats sky #warrior cats shadow #wc criticism #uh i dont think this is spoilers? its the same as last book #sorry i take back that old post saying i didnt want to read about RiverClan brushing off Mothwings authority in this situation #turns out they really SHOULD have so that this plot would make more sense #bc as it stands i cant comprhend why she was unable to just point at Literally Anyone and ask them to organize some patrols for the day. #thats not appointing a leader its Just Doing Chores. switch off who does it every day who cares but how is it this much of a problem #i cant engage with this conflict at all with how its presented #idk first they said some senior warriors were *quietly and passively* gesturing to Frostpaw that they would like to be leader #but then later they said that no senior warrior would step forward. which is it. i just cant stop thinking of all the many many times- #-rando warriors were given temporary patrol organizing duties. it happens all the time. i just. #you cant rly tell me not One Single Cat here can organize some chores for a month or two #bc if thats true and mothwing is unable to just point at any warrior ask them to pick some patrols for the day- #then that suggests the problem is not lacking a starclan chosen leader the problem is apparently every single cat in this clan- #-is too incompetent for the job. and being officially appointed isnt going to suddenly give them that skill if they cant do it now #hence why i wish there had been some bloody fighting over this #but sitting around staring at the wall and doing nothing is cool too ig

[secretlythatsme]

anyway, i think my hot take regarding the whole canon vs fanon thing for the dpxdc fandom is that fanon is fine but it also gets boring. there's a reason why 90% of the dpxdc creative content feels exactly the same. i'm not trying to like,, shit on anyone's work, but so many of these fics are very, very similar in plot and dynamics. and that's a product of the fact that most of the fandom doesn't actually know anything about dc.

if you're relying solely on fandom osmosis to learn about the characters and events, then you end up missing out on a lot. it's not Bad, but it's basically the footnotes. the sparknotes. the starred review compared to the actual book. you aren't getting a lot, is what i'm saying. and that's why so much of the content feels exactly the same! it's because everyone is getting their info from the same decade old jokes. so creative work ends up blending into each other because the creators don't actually have anything else to work with (because they don't Know anything else) so they rely on the same five fanon jokes and headcanons that they do know.

as a dc fan, i Do encourage dpxdc fans to look into dc and read the comics and be more active on the dc side of things, not because fanon is inherently Bad, but because it opens up so many more avenues for creativity. i'd love to see people talk about danny fighting evil vampire nightwing or going on missions with karen or having fun with kara. but most dp fans don't even know characters outside of the most popular 10 and know even less about any of the plots or universes. so like, it's not exactly a surprise that every fic sounds the same. and like. does that not get boring to you guys?

#i'm sorry ik some of this sounds mean but its true aldghk #its not a bad thing but it is a noticeable thing #and im sure there are plenty of dp fans who are still having fun and dont mind this #but im sure there are also some dp fans who'd also like some variety #and that variety could be there! if you guys knew more about dc #there are so many characters! so many universes! so much you can do! #stop fighting about canon vs fanon and have fun with how much dc content there is!! #you don't have to read Everything but it definitely helps to read Some things #you'll get more ideas! more aus! more headcanons! more over the top jokes! #dc has SO much content for you to explore!!! why wouldnt you want to take advantage of that? #like you'll literally never run out of content to explore because there's just So much and they keep making more of it #even old forgotten characters get brought back every now and then #like! have fun with the canon that's there! and you'll be able to have more fun with your fanon!!! #dcxdp #im sorry but i really dont think ill ever be able to understand Why dp fans dont want to engage with canon dc content #its weird to me it truly is and i dont think anyone will change my mind honestly #ive seen all the replies and vague posts about it but it usually just amounts to #'we dont care about canon and we just want to have fun' which like. yeah. sure. but like.. #are you saying you would have Less fun if you knew more about dc? #like.. #if you genuinely like these characters then you would like their runs?? 😭 huh ??? #it doesnt make sense to me! i dont get it! if you like them why would you have less fun reading about them!! #what!! #anyway yeah my hot take is that you should engage with the source material because it actually makes things More fun #why have dp fans convinced themselves that theyll hate dc canon i dont get it #its like reverse stockholm syndrome

[yeyayeya]

Wtf was that trailer

#yeyarants #fire emblem #feh #fire emblem heroes #hello??? #I’m so tired of 3 houses #now watch me try to spend orbs on Dimitri #I’m a fucking clown I know #just getting Dimitri and dipping #don’t care about the other ones #ok but the Byleth duo is just boring af #come on now #ok but Yunaka being the only Engage character in the banner is so weird #what is she doing there? #girl I’m sorry you’re with the wrong people #they could have literally added Yuri #I guess Yunaka replaced him #damn and I thought it would be a 3H + Engage banner #weird ass balancing #Claude TT+ is something I guess #sorry really confused about it #what happened to the 4* units? #are they gone now? #I was about to celebrate Dimitri being the 4* one before seeing the skills #feh wtf are you turning to #I’m so tired of 3H but I won’t say no to a Dimitri alt #I’m biased I know leave me alone