#fyi; IT IS NEVER the place for a white person to say that all these asian movies are the same ... NEVER .. bc that’s what you fucking meant

[zombiiegrr]

no one knows . 💌

dbf ! joel x fem! reader

cw : dumbification, a bit of overstimulation, slight degrading, heavy praise, age gap (Joels 40, readers 21 ) , daddy kink , slightly pentup joel, mentions of breeding, bit of jealousy talk of exhibition and sex with multiple of ppl. afab reader !! w she/her pronouns ..

there’s a slight mention of his arms being the size of your face and him holding you up while u.. welp! but fyi Joel is beefy and over 6’2 in this fanfic just for my own “personal” liking he is STRONG cause im a big girl myself don’t feel like you gotta size down for this! not at all. enjoy sweetheart ≧◡≦

☆ ★ ☆ ★ ☆ ★ ☆ ★ ☆ ★ ☆ ★ ☆ ★ ☆ ★ ☆ ★ ☆

You were beautiful and finally wanted to visit home. College in California was amazing being originally from Dallas, Texas loving the beaches and the social life back in Cali away from your Christian strict family who didn’t understand the point of being an adult is living your life not doing anything that other people wanted you to do but living how you wanted to.

everyone was trying to talk to you sliding smart remarks about you “developing and showing it” all giving you fake smiles as they “ adjusted” your shirt that was perfectly appropriate but had to have the church’s approval. You quickly make your way away from everyone and made the small walk about to your childhood home. You walked in taking a deep breath looking for your father making your way into the garage 

Honestly you were distracted , not by everyone calling and wanting to see you, not by people wondering how you grew into a women so fast and making you uncomfortable with the way they were adjusting. no you were distracted by the man working on the car before you in your fathers garage covered in car oil who surprised you 

Joel miller

You would never say that you were shy or even think after dealing with college boys that any man would make you feel nervous or even needy. But Joel managed to make you feel like a teen again he made you want his attention by doing small things like bending over and spilling water on your white shirt trying to make eye contact with him not winning as he locked eye contact with you.

you greeted your dad handing him the water he yelled for when you walked in, bending over to see the older man under the car who wanted anything to drink or snack on.

“s’okay darlin lemme finish this part up and I’ll take you on that offer” he answered grunting as he fixed up the small part he was screwing back into place his arms looked like the size of your face he put his strength into this small piece of the car

you felt like a perv as you watched his whole bodywork on this car sliding out looking around for his small towel to wipe anything that got onto his face in the way. you didn’t dress up not expecting him to wear an old volleyball jersey and some cherry-printed shorts with long white socks that you grabbed from your father's room

you suddenly felt underdressed and he looked at every detail of your outfit making you feel like changing into something he might like. As he finished up standing reminding you how he felt like he was towering over you as he reached to put the oil behind you not breaking eye contact.

your dad invited him over for the game wanting to drink beer and asked you if you wanted to join. You didn’t know anything about football or anything they talked about but you knew Joel would be there and agreed to watch the game with them.

Joel said he would head over to his place to freshen up cause he was covered in oil and sweat. you thought about putting something nicer but didn’t want to be obvious that you were trying to impress him you felt so desperate for this older man’s attention as he slip out of your home.

you decided to just breathe and clear your mind and relax clearing any impure thoughts in your mind before walking out into the living room again. You did put on a tad bit of perfume and some lip gloss staying in your room until you hear Joel’s trunk pull up again.

He let himself in and after twenty minutes you sat in between your father and Joel as the game went on. Your dad had about 3 beers at this time and wasn’t even staying awake for the game and started to fall asleep excusing himself for a “break” knowing he was going to knock out. Joel didn’t say much as he was focusing on the game as he stretched his arm on the armrest behind you closing in the space between the both of you.

“So. College?” Joel broke the silence making you perk up from looking at your thighs.

“College..” you mumbled not knowing where he was going with that but happy to talk to him.

“Any new things you can’t share with your father” he joked with a visible smirk growing

you playfully pushed his arm “wouldn’t you like to know” you replied

“so not the good girl I know anymore? shoulda known” now that got a reaction out of you due to the nickname you sure did enjoy.

“I haven’t been for a while mr. miller” you whispered as you put you head back on the couch. he looked at you clearly not focused on the game anymore

“speak up honey didn’t quite hear you.” he said not letting you break eye contact with him while he took in all of your reactions.

“I'm not a good girl anymore Mr. miller” you said loud enough for him to hear you not wanting to be quiet this time. The look he was giving you wasn’t clear you couldn’t tell if he was upset or turned on by whatever you were saying but you didn’t want to stop.

he just kept looking at you. You wanted to beg him to say something looking at you like he wanted something from you but didn’t want to say it. Like he was scared of doing something like if he wouldn’t be able to stop himself but that was you just hoping

“gotta watch that mouth sunshine or you're gonna give me the wrong idea” he said as he arm left from behind you rubbing his eyebrows

“what? you scared sir?” that got his attention as he shot his eyes at you. “it’s almost like you lost that touch I would hear you and my dad talking about I wanna see what the fuss is about”

“geez you are gonna kill me sugar” he laughed to you as he adjusted his pants “I have no clue what your talking about. I ain’t lost my touch”

you took a swing of the left over beer you had on the table scooting your hips a bit closer to him

“Maybe those college boys just don’t know what they're doing” You paused looking at him, while he watched you waiting for the rest of your sentence “They don’t know how to make me feel good Joel, or is that just all men?” You whispered in his ear as you could see his pants getting a bit tight again giving you a confidence boost.

You excepted another shut down or him telling you to watch your mouth but you felt his hands pulling you by your hips and the other pulling you by your face his lips tasting like candy and beer mixing the fruit flavors you had placed on the table

“Ain’t you a dirty girl” is all he said as you moaned against his lips looking for some relief while your body ached to be touched by the older man in front of you. You were now sitting in his lap as you rode his thigh as he kissed your neck and collarbone. You didn’t know how or why it took so little for him to touch you but you didn’t care.

He held your thighs in place laughing at how needy you were for him he stopped kissing you and just was taking a good look at you sighing

‘m suppose to be watching the game” he said while rubbing your thighs clearly hard underneath you. “we shouldn’t do this darlin” he whispered

“but you want to” you answered grinding yourself on him as he grunted gripping your thighs a bit tighter. He kissed your arm a bit more and told you for your good he would be heading home.

“joel-.” He cut you off with a kiss then a kiss on the forehead telling you to head to bed.

You couldn’t believe you got womanly blue balled and knew you had to keep getting back at him.

you walked him out with a clearly frustrated look making him laugh at you again. As he said his goodbyes telling you to rest easy.

you weren’t gonna make this easy for him

two days later . 💌

You greeted the small group of ppl your father had invited over getting water from the fridge happy that your dad had gave up on making you change your outfits since 10th grade.

you wore that shirt on purpose. you were teasing him. he sat with a hard-on while you served everyone drinks with that cute white sheer t-shirt with a cute red lace push-up sticking out while your cute miniskirt struggled to stay covering your ass as you bounced around the kitchen you’d purposely bend over a little farther every time you gave a drink to someone in front of him spreading your legs fat enough for him to see what he wanted but for so short of time.

“excuse me Joel” you giggled as you gave him a clear view of under your skirt in front of all your father's friends “passing” by him to sit inside on the couch.

the men started asking you the same questions, about the school, and my plans for afterward you would feel Joel’s eyes on you as you shamelessly flirted with the older men at the table

you pulled out your phone texting the number you stole from your dads phone excusing yourself to the bathroom

“hi there mr.miller” you texted waiting for a reply as you watched him look at his phone from the bathroom window.

he smirked a bit before replying “Get out of the bathroom” You giggled as you reached to take a picture of the wet mark growing in your underwear under your mini skirt pulling your underwear to the side a bit showing a little more for him. you sent the picture then looked out the window to see his reaction

he spit on his drink and quickly excused himself from the table making you laugh as you exited the bathroom looking at your phone to see you were still on read. you giggled as you walked not watching where you were going feeling an arm pulling you back to the bathroom you had just left

“Are you batshit? right in front of your father? aint you a dirty bitch did you want them all to see” he was so angry you could see his muscles flexing all of his insults went straight to your underwear and you could feel yourself getting wetter and wetter for him as he pushed you against the bathroom door locking it behind you

“getting so worked up over a picture geez how long as it been” you joked throwing coal in the fire as you watched for his reaction

“Such a dirty mouth. s’okay you just need a man to fuck it shut. on your knees” You crossed your arms acting as if you wanted nothing more than his cock bruising your throat

“don’t fucking make me make you” You giggled at him as you went down slowly feeling him force you down faster sliding his sweats down sliding his boxers down next. he was so big and heavy it’s not like you didn’t guess he would be but seeing it up close scared you a bit. he told you to open up so you did way quicker than you probably should’ve giving you no time as he started to tease you before giving you one last breath and stuffing your throat

He was laughing at all the noises you made and the way you pulled on his sweats and squeezed his thighs you could take it you knew you could but you didn’t know he would make you take it so fast

“‘m gonna cum faster then i wanted to fucking tight throat ” you hummed on his cock as he gave you no mercy letting out curses and groans he pulled your head back and started to jerk off right above your face groaning as you looked him right in the eyes

“silly girl you just wanted attention aint that right” he joked as he slapped himself on your cheek grabbing your head once again and slamming himself right back into your throat

“fucking showing off in front of everyone. you want them to fuck you too? all of us fuckin you dumb” you shook your head as he pulled out of you to let you talk

“no no i want you” you mumbled while taking deep breaths as you watched him jerk off in front of you again.

“I know sugar I know cause i wouldn let anyone fuck what’s mine,” he said as you finally make your throat feel full again. He started to shake and grip your head harder as he let out more praises for you

“fuckin take it fuck me” he whispers as he paints the inside of your throat with his cum making sure you shallow and don’t waste a drop of him. As he finally comes back to his senses he starts to kiss your forehead as you hear your father calling out to you for being gone for a while

you try to call back even with the sore throat saying you would be right there. Looking at Joel who looked more relaxed shooting him air kisses and you walked out of the bathroom.

a few days later 🥀

you missed Joel texting him once and a while teasing him with pictures getting a call right away. You had the house to yourself as you walked around in pretty underwear and a small top you had since the junior year you jumped when you seen a man inside your sink you noticed right away it was the man you had been cumming to for the last few nights.

you cleared your throat making him aware of you and seeing him peak out while looking you up and down as he kept working

“ain’t you up early” he grumbled and he sounded like he finished up whatever he was working up sitting up and starting to clean and wash his hands in the sink

you just looked at him as he washed his hands and nails being such a clean man. you suddenly felt needy for him again realizing he hasn’t even touched you and you’ve had his cock in your mouth

you started to rub on his arm making him look at you real quick then looking around

“what time do you think your dad will be back” he asked

“around 9 pm it’s only 10 am right now,” you said giving him a nice view of the cute underwear you threw on he chuckled at you and bit your shoulder gently and kissed up slowly. you wiggled under him wanting more as you started to hold yourself in place bending you over the kitchen counter. he slowly took off your underwear dropping to his knees and letting out a beautiful sound while he looked at your bare cunt already wet for him he slowly kiss around your thighs and made his way slowly to your aching core not knowing when or how he was going to touch you

you felt him kiss your clit making you moan softly as he opened you up slowly he was focusing hard on your clit and it was driving you over the edge already. You had wanted him so bad and now you had him and you could feel yourself losing it quickly he brought his hand up along your leg squeezing gently finally bringing his long fingers up to your begging body

his thick fingers stretched you out nice as you squeezed around him leaning on the kitchen sink you couldn’t breathe and didn’t know how you were so close to just his fingers and mouth.

“I ain’t the stupid boys you fuck around with dumb girl,” he said gripping your face and making you look at him as he used his mouth to play with your desperate clit. “s’okay gonna fuck that cunt straight baby girl so desperate for a breeding” That drove you over the edge as he touched everywhere you needed

“m sorry Daddy” You had never called anyone that before never feeling like it never fit with the boys the same age as you seeing as they never did this much foreplay with you.

He kept his eyes on you as he smirked at the name you had slipped out. he forced you to look at him not that you wanted to look at anything else. you repeated the nickname slower while you clenched around his fingers.

“aint that fucking pathetic. you want me that bad?” you nodded quickly as he was laughing at how shameless you were being for him. “such a stupid girl”

you could feel yourself getting closer as he continued to lick your sensitive clit while fingering you as the wet sounds grew and grew

“m gonna- can i?” you felt yourself asking if you could cum for him knowing you would even if he said no way to close to stop yourself now

“cum for you ‘daddy’ darlin” You allowed yourself to cum while slightly mocking you keeping the same pace which you were happy for not even begging to argue with him mocking you as it turned you on even more. He didn’t stop after you came holding you in place as you shook in his mouth feeling tears touch your cheeks taking all of him and he enjoyed your reaction. you couldn’t take it anymore gripping his hair crying out for him as you started to cum again so quickly

It took you so long to stop shaking on his fingers before he pulled your arm walked you to your bedroom and pushed you onto your bed you legs were shaking as you still felt sensitive from the overstimulation in the kitchen. You could hear his belt buckle coming off and felt his hands touching you all over again as he stretched your pussy wider lining himself up against your wet hole you couldn’t help but shake underneath him looking at how big he was again

“is it gonna fit?” you asked shaky looking back at him

“we’ll make it fit” he mumbles as he slides himself slowly into you getting a groan and whimper from the both of you as he filled you up so beautifully you gripped the sheets mumbling about how big he was you could feel your legs go numb as he slowed pressed into you.

“aint even all of me baby” he laughed as he pressed farther into you filling you up in a way you had never felt before. He was finally stopping for a second giving you a bit of time to adjust to him.

“Please move Joel i-I need it” you finally said as you got needy from the cockwarming it only took a second more of begging before Joel was slowly taking you. You keep squeezing hoping he would go faster

“behave” was all he said as he spanked you, you let out a long whine wanting him more than anything knowing you could take it

“m a big girl I can ta-take it” is all you said before you felt your arms being pulled back as he started to slam himself into you. You couldn’t breathe anymore as moans and cries were slipping out of you

the older man was letting out cuss words and beautiful praises as he fucked you senseless

“fucking mine you ain’t ever fucking those boys ever again baby girl.” Joel could feel himself becoming drunk off of you as he put his arm under your neck pushing your body onto his as he kept fucking himself into you.

you could barely think as he fucked parts of you he was filling you up so good as you lost your thoughts and could only think about Joel and how good you were feeling

“please Joel I can feel you so deep please please Joel” you kept repeating as you got closer and closer again he kissed your neck noticing you slipping under him he pulled out making you cry at the loss of him flipping you over so your legs rested on his shoulders and he could look at you while he fucked himself into you.

“That’s a good girl. you alright sweetheart” he lightly slapped your cheek getting your attention and making sure you weren’t too lost to tell him you needed a break and this was the only time he could feel himself able to stop

“m ok.. please,” you said as you rocked your hips into him needing to feel him deep inside you again. Seeing you so drunk off of him brought him over the edge he could feel himself getting there as he brought his fingers to touch your aching clit and brought you there with him as he slowly thrust into you kissing you gently making you lose yourself again.

“feel so good. sweetheart you feel so good” he whimpered out making you squeeze around him kissing him sloppy as his fingers touched right where you needed them. you grabbed onto his arm lazily trying to make him aware but he could feel it and hear how breathless you were getting he could hear how sloppy you sounded for him again unable to stop himself he kept going until you were there

“you fucking my cock so good. good job sugar” he talking you through it praising you as you bounced up and down on him.

“Where do you want me,” he asked praying you said inside he didn’t want to cum anywhere else he just wanted to watch himself leak out of your claiming your pussy as his.

“in- inside in please I want it so bad please ” you didn’t even recognize yourself as you begged still sensitive and shaking.

“I got you Darlin Jesus I’m gonna breed this pussy sugar” he mumbled as he let out a long groan as he pushed your legs back stuffing himself into you as he fill you up warm. he still kept kissing the side of your neck as he let out beautiful songs as you lightly squeezed around him not wanting to waste anything.

you both sat there with his head in your neck and your arms around him. he didn’t move for a bit as you started to recollect yourself gathering everything squeezing his neck and smelling his hair . he pulled himself out slowly earning a moan at the loss. he left for a second leaving you a bit lonely coming back with water, a wet washrag, and baby wipes from the bathroom.

“you gotta go pee, sweetheart” he reminded you as he cleaned you off gently kissing every part he cleaned putting the water bottle in your hand

“please don’t leave while i pee” you said using him to stand up limping to the bathroom

“wouldn’t dream of it darling” as you came back from the bathroom and the rubbed all over you making sure you were comfortable and that you didn’t regret anything he was so gentle and you didn’t want to be anywhere else. you had time before your father came back and just wanted to relax with Joel.

authors note! 📩

HIII THIS IS KINDA LONG DID U GUYS LIKE ITTTT PLZ LMKK IF U DID i havent wrote in so long and this isn’t even proof read wtf but yeah okay thank you so much for reading sorry the aftercare part kinda sucked I suck at that. plz Lmk if u guys want anything else okay bye bye love you!

#Spotify #joel miller x f!reader #joel x reader #dbf!joel #dbf!joel x reader #last of us joel #the last of us #joel the last of us #joel miller x y/n #joel miller x female reader #joel miller x reader #joel miller #dbf! joel x fem!reader #joel tlou #fanfic #fanficiton #last of us x reader #x reader #joel miller one shot #joel miller smut #oneshot #joel miller x poc!reader #joel miller x you #joel miller x plus size reader #joel miller x wife!reader

[contemplatingoutlander]

These moments totally happened at the GOP primary debate

WaPo satirist Alexandra Petri add her spin on the Republican primary debate. This is a gift 🎁 link so that those who do not subscribe to The Washington Post can read the entire article. Below are some excerpts. Enjoy! 😁

If you said, “Would you like to watch Ron DeSantis, Vivek Ramaswamy, Nikki Haley, Tim Scott, Doug Burgum, Mike Pence, Asa Hutchinson and Chris Christie talk to each other for two hours? FYI, the place where they’ll do so is hotter than Beelzebub’s armpit!,” I would have said, “No, thank you.” But if you said, “The alternative is watching Donald Trump talk to Tucker Carlson on the website formerly known as Twitter,” I would say, “I can’t wait to hear what Ron, Vivek, Nikki, Tim, Doug, Mike, Asa and Chris have to say!” [...] Here is approximately how it went. Bret Baier: Hello. We have brought a bell just because we enjoy the sound of a bell. Martha MacCallum: Feel free to speak over it; it will give the evening a fun, musical vibe. Baier: Yes, and speaking of music, candidates, the number one song in America is something called “Rich Men North of Richmond”! Governor DeSantis, introduce yourself by providing a close reading of the subtle lyrics of this song. DeSantis: Hang on, first I have some prepared remarks! Joe Biden’s basement! Hunter Biden’s paintings! “Rich Men North of Richmond”! Taxes! Florida! Baier: Chris Christie, why would you be better as president? Christie: Bret, I have spent the last four years sailing around sharpening my traffic-cone harpoon for my hated foe (from hell’s heart I spit my last breath at him!), and the one question I did not expect was about a scenario where I could actually become president. Uh, I was governor of New Jersey? So, take that for what it’s worth.

[See more under the cut.]

Scott: I have come to this debate with some specific numbers at my fingertips! I was told everyone would be excited about specific numbers! If not, I would really like those hours back. Ramaswamy: Hello! You may be wondering, who is this skinny guy with a funny name? I’m not a politician who is going to offer you a series of prepared, meaningless platitudes. I’m a businessman with no political experience who is going to offer you a series of prepared, meaningless platitudes. Isn’t it time we stopped running away from things and started running toward things? I am not running for president so much as I am running for the title of Favorite Grandson of your Fox News grandmother. Have you ever considered that people don’t love God anymore? [...] Pence: Hello! I am here to recite scripture and keep referring to the Trump-Pence administration, and I’m all out of scripture. That was some Mike Pence humor; I will never be out of scripture! I am unquestionably the best-prepared person in this race, the single individual with the experience that is closest to being the president, with no exceptions that spring to mind. I have been in the hallway. I have been in the White House. Do you like what my administration did with the Supreme Court? [...] Ramaswamy: You think now is the time for incremental reform. I think it is the time for actual revolution. Pence: Good Lord, no thank you. I do not have any revolutionary proposals. I believe in mild, small, incremental change. Except for a nationwide 15-week ban on abortion, which I want to implement because I promised it to God. Haley: Let’s be realistic! Women hate hearing this. Let’s just admit that it will never happen. But we’re all going to say we want it to happen! But, ladies, it’s not going to happen. [...] Young Person: Please tell me that anyone on this stage believes in climate change, the only issue I care about because I anticipate living on this planet for at least 60 years. I am starting to get worried. Can we have a show of hands? DeSantis: No! We are not schoolchildren! We will not raise our hands or acknowledge the existence of science! Ramaswamy: As the only one on this stage who is not bought and paid for, I have a thought. Christie: I have had enough of a guy who sounds like ChatGPT and stole his opening gambit from Barack Obama. I came here to bludgeon Donald Trump verbally, but Trump is not here and I have a lot of verbal bludgeoning built up. [...] Baier: Why do we have homelessness, drugs and crime? Pence: Because Democrats talked about defunding the police, and everyone knows that if you say “Defund the police!” into a mirror three times, crime appears. It’s just science, or, as Governor DeSantis and I prefer, religion. Christie: I disagree. Crime went up because Hunter Biden did it.

Please use the gift link above to read the rest of Petri's cutting satire.

Just one thing I would like to comment on though. I grew up in NJ... BEYOND the exits on the Turnpike. Why does there always have to be a NJ joke?🤦🏻‍♀️There really are nice parts of NJ. Really. I mean it. 😉

[edited]

#gop primary debate #republicans #ron desantis #chris christie #nikki haley #mike pence #vivek ramaswamy #asa hutchinson #tim scott #doug burgum #satire #alexandra petri #the washington post #gift link

[haileyyey]

She was there, always for him.

A Michael Kaiser x fem! reader.

TW: mention of blood and bruises, the reader taking care of Kaiser, Michael is called mihya by the reader, swearing but not a lot of mentions of a medical emergency kit, and Kaiser's past mentioned, kaiser gets annoyed by anything somehow.

Genre: a teeny weeny bit of angst, and tooth-rotting fluff.

FYI; kaiser and Reader are both 16!! 

She was there, waiting for his arrival, but it seemed that he is an hour late. She started worrying, calling his phone, texting him, calling his friends to ask about his where about, since kaiser tends to escape a lot, just to hang out with them. But that was not the case today, nobody answered. Y/n was becoming anxious with every minute that passed, until there was a knock on the door.

It took her 4 fast steps to get there, as quickly as she could. She opened the door with a fast motion just to see his figure, covered in blood and bruises. It was like her heart sank to the floor. "M-Mihya.." She stuttered, she couldn't stand seeing him covered in blood, it seemed that he got in a fight, but she was not sure. "It isn't that bad, y/n," he said, it is bad is, what he was feeling. But she just knew it wasn't the case, his white shirt covered up in stains of red, ripped up from certain parts, his trembling body, his hurt eyes it is just painful for her to view him like this.

She then started tearing up, which made the taller guy in front her get worried. "y/n, what is wrong?" He simply asked as he put his trembling hands on her shoulders, "why do you do this to me- why do you hurt yourself every time?" She sobbed in between what she said, Kaiser looked at her with widened eyes, she cared about him a lot, she was the only one looking out for him, she was the only one that would heal him, she was the only one who pitied him when he was alone in the streets, without nobody to help him or save him from this cold and cruel world, there was only her. He just seemed to realize that. He felt truthfully touched, but now wasn't the time, he had to react quickly, he couldn't just comfort her with putting his hands on her shoulders and spitting out some words that would help, he needed to comfort her physically.

'Think Michael, think!' He hated himself about the moment, for being so dense, and not being able to try and cure the Brocken person in front of him which was very dear to him, until it popped to his mind.

While she was a crying mess, she felt a hand snake around her waist and grab her tightly into a hug, she stopped for while, and she looked up to see his face, his bruised figure, "it is going to be okay, y/n." she had never heard comforting words from him, being so sincere and genuine, and that made her heart shatter into pieces. She cried in his chest and wrapped her hands around his waist, letting it all out while he put his chin on the crown of her head, rubbing circular motions on her back.

...

...

...

"Michael, can you please explain why you got in a fight?" She said while grabbing the medical emergency kit in the bathroom and placing it in the sink.

"I'd rather not say..." he took off his shirt, just for it to expose more bruises and scratches. That looked very painful, but it's the one and only Michael kaiser. 

"Oh come on, please?" She took the alcohol and put it on a coton so she could help him get cured faster, as she bent down to cup his face, which made him scrunch his nose a bit. "Fine... just don't grab my face like that it hurts." He hissed but then the girl gasped as she forgot that he wasn't hurt. She let out a little hooray beforehand getting back to what she was doing.

He mumbled something, inaudible which made you let out a confused hum, "What did you say?" She turned around just to see him sulking while hiding his face, but from his ears, it was obvious that he was blushing, she couldn't help but smile.

"I was trying to stop these assholes from talking shit about you!" he shouted which startled y/n. He noticed how she got scared that second and apologized to her, but the fact she couldn't help but smile right now was bothering him. "y/n. why are you smiling." he asked in an annoyed tone, "you were trying to protect me! How could I not be happy?" your lips curved into an even bigger smile which made him look at you, "N-no! i-it was just-fuck." Kaiser avoided eye contact with his face becoming an even darker shade of red by now.

...

...

...

"we are done!" y/n playfully clapped her hands, and looked at the bandaged boy in front of her. "yay..." he cheered silently as he was trying not to look at y/n. "oh come on, ill make you dinner!" y/n tried making kaiser look at his way, but god was this dude strong. "my favorite?" he asked, as he finally met her (eye color) orbs, they were filled with such love, purity and sincere, it was as if an angel was in front of him, he just couldn't believe his eyes. "of course." you tilted your head slightly to the side as his hands slowly moved up from the bathroom tub, and stood up. He groaned a bit in the pain in his back, but he wouldn't stop now. "mihya?" y/n looked at him, confused, she thought he was just going to go to the living room, but he just stood up. Kaiser only thought of one option, and quickly calculated how everything is going to go. "y/n..." he slowly put his hand on his nape and started drifting his eyes away from y/n. "yes, mihya?" god damn it this nickname, it is driving him crazy. "I want to repay you." he finally looked at her again and put his hands down. "why? you live with me, so you don't ne-" Before she could even continue, he grabbed her waist, and pulled her closer and closer until their faces were practically centimeters apart.

"I love you, y/n." after he said these words he dived into her lips, it was a simple brush of their mouths. Y/n was surprised, and started giggling. "oh mihya! you could have said that from the beginning! i love you too." y/n kissed him again, but this time it was slightly longer. "stop calling me mihya..." he said as he looked at her eyes, his forehead on hers, as she was giggling, and her face was red. "never!"

...

...

...

#michael kaiser #kaiser x y/n #kaiser michael #blue lock #blue lock x reader #kaiser x reader #michael kaiser x reader

[artemfication]

“MC goes Buzzfeed Unsolved with the demon brothers while fucking with the entire human realm internet!” Part 2

CW: swearing. Lots of swearing, mentions of death/murder, all the typical stuff related to summoning entities, haunted places, live streaming, not proof read.

Part 1

MC goes ghost hunting in the human realm pt. 2

“YOU SON OF A MOTHERFUCKING BITCH-“

“Oi, calm down, it’s just me!”

MC is almost hyperventilating and it takes a moment for them to calm down, while glaring at the all too familiar shit-eating grin.

“Solomon you son of bitch, why the fuck did you sneak up on me like that?! What are you even doing here? Have you decided to become a streamer too or something?!”

“Pfft, why would I become a streamer when I can watch you lose your soul ten times over in a single night of ghost hunting?” He laughs, while getting hit on his arm.

“That wasn’t fucking funny! I thought you were the ghost of the janitor.”

“Anyway, I was bored at home so I decided to come over and hang out with you.”

“And you had to sacrifice my soul for your entertainment?!”

“It’s free real estate.” He attempt to make it up with a hug, but MC is not having it and huffs as they push him off of them.

“Ah right, remember when we were ghost hunting at the old manor near the lake?”

“What about it?“

“Didn’t you agree to a relationship with Satan? That would explain why you just pushed me away. Wouldn’t want Satan’s wrath hanging above my head, now do we?”

Okay, now he is just taking the piss with MC, knowing damn well they are in an actual relationship with Satan, the Avatar of Wrath. But the rest of the human realm knows a different Satan than them.

“Weren’t you the one who made a pact with the demon of lust, hmm? Why that demon out of all the others? Something you’re not telling us?” They raise an eyebrow at the sorcerer who put on an arrogant face, claiming the demon wanted it himself and Solomon was just agreeing out of his own convenience.

“Sure, sure, that demon totally begged for you to make a pact with him. Sounds very believable!” He grits his teeth as he knows he can’t reveal that he can command way more than just one demon, but he bites his tongue for the sake of chat’s entertainment.

“I mean…I too would form a pact with the Avatar of Lust if I was maidenless.”

The Solomon was too stunned to speak.

The chat is kekeing, pressing their Fs for their favorite white haired man.

MC is acting like they didn’t say anything out of the ordinary, which is partly true because you can hear those two bickering throughout RAD, much to Diavolo’s entertainment.

‘I’m going to sacrifice you again.”

“If it’s to Satan, then yes please.” They almost said “daddy Satan” FYI.

“Can you entertain chat while I set up the ghost communicator?”

“Ayo chat, it’s your favorite person again. Fun fact about hell, did you know that the seven demons that represent the seven deadly sins were once angels except for Satan? However, unlike most biblical stories, Satan isn’t actually the ruler of hell. On the contrary, he is only the fourth most powerful out of the seven sins. Now don’t underestimate their power because of their ranking. Even the seventh powerful demon can kill with just the snap of his finger. So unless you are me or MC, don’t randomly go out making pacts!”

“I got seven!”

“No one gives a fuck.”

“I do!”

Both freeze at the third voice echoing down the corridor and they go dead silents as Solomon crawls to peak around the corner of the frontdesk with the camera beside him.

“Did you hear that?”

“Of course I did, stupid.” MC hisses as they peak into the hallway as well.

“Did you already do a ritual?”

“I never do that before midnight.”

“Then why was that some voice just now?”

“I’ll bet it’s one of your stupid pranks again.”

“Motherf*cker I came straight to you when I set foot in here!”

“Are you sure no one followed you to here?”

“I’m pretty su-“ a strange yelling echoes down the hall again and MC slaps Solomon’s mouth shut, making them both freeze and listen carefully. A loud bang is heard from upstairs followed by complete silence afterwards.

“Do you think that was the janitor’s ghost?”

“He might be hunting down the ghost of the students that were killed…”

“If he’s hunting down the students…there might be six ghost kills tonight…”

“Six?”

“There were six students who hid from the janitor on the night they got killed. They had spread all over the school…but they all got hunted down until none of them were left. Eventually their bodies got found buried outside in the flowerbeds.”

“And if we dig up those bodies and burn them?”

“Their souls are still tied to the school. Unless the janitor’s ghost is banished, they won’t know peace.”

“So we’ll have to exorcise the janitor…” the thought of it gives MC chills. What if it possesses one of them? Even worse if he possesses Solomon…he is the most powerful target after all.

“Ready to go?”

“What do you mean?”

“I mean, ready to go ghost hunting?”

“You son of a bitch, I’m in.”

Part 3

Tags:

@percypup @reshi-galaxy @shmaider @seerachii-art

#obey me headcanons #obey me #obey me satan #satan x reader #beelzebub x reader #leviathan x reader #lucifer x reader #obey me beelzebub #obey me leviathan #obey me lucifer #obey me mammon #mammon x reader #asmodeus x reader #obey me asmodeus #belphegor x reader #obey me belphegor #solomon x reader #obey me solomon #obey me simeon #obey me luke #obey me diavolo #obey me barbatos

[chaosandthe-deadblog]

Sunny's unnofficial rendering tutorial because idk why but people say they like how I color

Hey kid. So you got your drawing, right? And you have your flat colors, now you gotta render 'em, right? Then you find that BAM, you have no idea how to make it look cool? Neither do I! But here's what I do (I've been told that my coloring is cool)

1. Place your flat colors

Imagine these are your flats. A few things: you want your base colors to be all around the same hue, that way they look better together. See how all the blacks, greys and whites are purple/blue-ish? That's on purpose babey! But how do you acheive this? idfk. jk, you have to stay on one (or two) areas of a hue wheel.

This way, all the colors look like, nicer around each other. You're not FORBIDDEN from going outside an area you picked, but you should still try to make sure everything is in the same hue so you have to do less overlay layers later.

(FYI: I do this because it saves me time on rendering. I don't think it's mandatory, there's no rules to art. Go crazy!)

2. Shading

I think shading makes or breaks a drawing. Personally I don't have a lot of rules about it, but there are still tips I can give.

So here's what you gonna do. You're gonna pick a color that's somewhere on the opposite of your main hue, alright? Here, my hue is mostly cold colors, so I'm going to pick a warm tone. You're gonna make sure it's dark enough so it's like, a shade, but not enough so it becomes black when you set the shading layer to multiply.

(Note: I never get this right on the first try)

(Another note: as you can see, I have the entire drawing, including the lines, inside a group. Don't worry! I'll explain this later)

Personally I like to use a paintbrush-esque brush because I like the look of it being hand-painted that it gives my art. Mine is the default paint tool sai brush, but I'll leave the settings down here just in case.

I don't. Really know how to explain the way I shade, I mostly follow the lines I already placed in the lineart phase, and give them depth. I guess my biggest tip would be to FOLLOW THE CLOTHING FOLDS!!!

Idk how to explain this. But people always tell me that they like how I shade the clothes, it's because I follow the fold lines I place on the lineart phase! Not only does this give the clothes depth, it also makes shading a lot easier. Follow your lineart, idk what else to tell ya.

Now you're gonna set the layer to multiply...

And lower the opacity as much as you want until it looks good. No real rules to this, it's kind of depending on the vibe you want your piece to have.

Now, and stay with me here, grab a blending tool, okay? This is the one I use, I have a textured version for when I'm feeling brave, and a regular, flat version (the one I use the most) Here I'll use the flat version.

And. Stay with me here. I want you to blend the FUCK out of this. Just absolutely destroy those borders. Okay? Trust me. If it looks messy you're doing it right. You're gonna want to follow the shape of the shadows tho, this way you don't lose the shape of the objects you're shading.

Woah! Suddenly everything has depth! Let me go back to the clothing folds, because holy shit, the clothing folds.

See how I'm adding depth to the shadows I placed by kinda. Following the line I drew and blending the outside? Idk how to explain this. You blend whatever isn't touching the line, okay? Trust me.

3. Lighting

Ok. I'm holding your hand gently. You have to do lighting on your art, okay? You have to. It adds depth to the shapes and also is sososoososo easy. Here's how. It's so easy.

Grab your airbrush tool. Yes, that one. Hear me out okay?

Pick a light, warm color between yellow and orange.

Stay with me. Make a new layer, set it to whatever lighting mode you prefer. I use luminosity because I live dangerously.

Now.

Airbrush everything that the shadows aren't touching. Yes. I'm serious.

It's gonna look ugly as shit. DON'T BE ALARMED. This is part of the process. I want you to take the blur tool. And blur the ever loving fuck out of this. Just go fucking ham.

Good. You're doing so well. You're being so brave. Now lower the opacity as much as you want, until you like the way it looks.

Like so. I also like to add a few brush strokes and blend them on an up-and-down motion for the hair and certain details, but this is optional. Same as before, you're gonna take a (slightly warmer, but still bright color) and make a new layer on luminosity mode.

Take the blending tool and make it small, only slightly bigger than the brush strokes, and blend these lines until they look nice. Adjust the opacity, and voila!

Now, I could stop here. But I'm extra so I keep going.

4. The pizzazz

AKA, "Ah fuck the colors don't look the way I wanted them to!"

Do not worry! I have a solution that's almost never failed me.

Overlays. Just a whole fuckton of them. I don't really have a method to this, I just kinda try colors and layer modes until something looks good.

For this one, I felt like I wanted the colors to be warmer, so I picked a warm color and overlayed it on multiply. Then, I noticed that the darker colors came out darker than planned, and you couldn't really tell them apart, so I picked a light warm color and overlayed it on screen.

Voila! We're not done! There's one more thing I like to do, and here's where the layer folder comes in!

Remember how I said I keep everything, including the lines in a folder? This is why!

Make a layer that's on top of everything, like this. Pick whatever color you want, make sure it's bright. (Personally I like using pink). Take the airbrush tool again and airbrush whatever edges you want to give a little more pizzazz to.

Blur it as much as you'd like...

And adjust the opacity and layer mode however you like!

5. And done!

Sometimes I add white highlights. Sometimes I add more shading, or more lighting. It depends! But this is the method I use in a nutshell.

Hope you enjoyed it, or at the very least realized idk what the fuck I'm doing!

#sol.art #art tutorial #sol's art tutorials #god this was so hard to explain. idk what im doing guys

[ananke-xiii]

Some thoughts about tragedy in spn.

Just fyi, I’m not even sure what my point is, so don’t expect anything that’s well-structured or even well written (yay! I’ve got you SO engaged right now, lol). To be honest I decided to share some of my thoughts because I wanted to hear what other people had to say on the topic 😊 so let me know what you think!

My little brain started going off in all directions after 15x20 because I was like “what is going on?”. And I’m not talking about facts, events, stuff that we’ve been presented in the finale and whether I liked them or not. I’m talking about the structure of the whole series. Like, I think SPN never truly decided whether it wanted to be a tragedy or an epic and I personally think that this is what led to the audience’s conflicted response about the finale: ultimately, from a structural point of view, the scale was tipped off in favor of the tragic narrative but the audience was eventually given a (badly made, imho) epic narrative ending.  

We all know that when Kripke pitched SPN he mentioned “On the road” and “The Odyssey” and “real Joseph Campbell stuff”. And in the very first scene of s1e2 we see some guys playing video games (the ultimate media for quests narrative) and one reading “The Hero with a Thousand Faces” so, you know, visually he kept his pitch promises. We’re all set for an “epic hero’s quest across the United States”. But we also know that in s10e5 “Fanfiction” the MOTW is… *drum roll* Calliope! The muse who presides over epic. And she wants to eat The Author of Supernatural . As if this was not enough, Maggie, one of the theatre girls, hits Calliope with… The Odyssey! I know this episode is forever famous for, well, the fanfiction aspect, but I suspect that Robbie Thompson was also telling us something else, considering that by the end of the episode Calliope is dead and Chuck, the established Author and the suspected (back then) God, is alive and well.

So, tldr; I think the load-bearing wall of SPN is tragedy and the epic is just whatever non-bearing walls do.

(and I’m not saying that epic cannot have tragic tones, like at all, I’m talking about narrative structures and, consequently, possible narrative endings)

Because I cannot stop thinking about this thing. Supernatural starts as two guys on a journey to find their father so we got the journey, fine. But what about The Return? Where can they return to? The only “place” that’s identified as a sort of “a return” is the fucking white picket fence life which is a) a “place” that was never really theirs to begin with so, technically, they cannot return there (unless we count it as a sort of “Eden”, a return to their childhood home and memories although, unfortunately, this reading would mean the saddest/most beautiful quest ever cause nobody can really return there without acknowledging the trauma of the fall from it) and b) we know right from the end of the pilot that there is no metaphorical return, as it turns out the narrative is not linear but cyclical. Because, really, whether or not Sam (I will only focus on him as a character for this post or I’ll never stop writing) accepted “The Call” was inconsequential for the story and we’re actually showed this. Sam is, like, this intrinsically tragic hero trapped in an epic hero’s body. His mother died and the story began, his girlfriend died and the story continued. What’s worse is that they both didn’t really have to die, to be honest, because Sam already had demon blood in him. We have literal flashback episodes that show us all the events leading to Sam’s birth. Azazel didn’t care if Sam hunted monsters or not, the demon played his role and the day of reckoning would have happened anyway (and it did and Sam “lost” but this is for another day) like it happened for all the other “special kids”, even if John wasn’t blinded by his grief and didn't vow to avenge Mary’s death .

And I think this is why s4-5 hit so hard and people love them so much: because there the trick is exposed, the narrative was never an epic but a tragedy. Destiny enters the chat once and for all and there’s no going back (and it’s even better when we find out that this supposed destiny is not really a destiny, rather an orchestrated video game but that’s also for another day). We have this whole blood/choices thing that’s a real catch-22. Sam’s demon blood was the result of his mother’s choices. Sam’s childhood and upbringing was the result of his father’s choices (metaphorically speaking "blood"; not just "demon blood" represents Sam's parents choices combined, "the sins of the fathers" sort of stuff) ). So what about Sam’s choices?

And then we have Ruby’s dialogue, one of the best things in the whole spn:

Ruby: No. It wasn't the blood. It was you... and your choices. I just gave you the options, and you chose the right path every time. You didn't need the feather to fly, you had it in you the whole time, Dumbo! I know it's hard to see it now... but this is a miracle. So long coming. Everything Azazel did, and Lilith did. Just to get you here. And you were the only one who could do it. Sam: Why? W-why me? Ruby: Because... because it had to be you, Sammy. It always had to be you. You saved us. You set him free. And he's gonna be grateful. He's gonna repay you in ways that you can't even imagine.

It was NOT the blood! It was YOUR CHOICES! I mean, can’t you see this is the stuff tragedies are made of? And why Sam accepting his fate but deciding the way he was going to handle it is so important? Frankly, I don’t think that s5’s ending is the best finale ever, but I cannot not say that from a storytelling pov it’s a thing of beauty. To me it clearly showed that there was no real “return” for Sam. Not because of his demon blood but because of his choices. His fucking choices led him to where he is now. As in, “everything you audience have seen so far was actually supposed to happen, right until this very ending point. The journey was a diversion, cool, but it was more of a going in circles rather than moving forward. The hero was forever trapped, and he was trapped BECAUSE of his choices, the more he wanted out the more he was forced back in, ha-ha!). And yet he somehow manages to at least write his own ending, which is super sad (but, again, tragedy!) but this is possibly THE ultimate human question: is my ending written or will I be able to write it myself? By the end of s5, meager consolation that it is, Sam at least manages to have an answer to this question (I’m in no way saying that I agree with Sam’s final choice, just that it was *his*).

But, as it turns out, it was not in no way his ending both because the show continued and because in s15 we’re told that the game is doubly rigged since Chuck was the one pulling the strings. And, honestly? This makes me feel so much for Sam, like to me he’s given THE worst ending ever (And Dean’s death has traumatized me to this day and I won’t ever re-watch that scene, it’s just wrong for me on so many levels but, from a narrative pov, his death mirrors Sam’s “death” in s5 so what I have said about him is valid for Dean, too) ((and, I cannot stress this enough, I don’t agree with both decisions, the message they send is too grim))

(((although in Dean's case, he chose the "wrong" path every time forcing Chuck's narrative to find new ways to keep him trapped and this is what makes the two brothers both so different and so similar)))(((because archetypically speaking brothers and/or sisters are the same person, they represent the different parts of the psyche but shhh))).

Sam’s left behind, so he goes and keep on living a blurry life without processing all the trauma. And then he dies. Wow. Most Unsatisfying Ending ever. And it’s as such precisely because Sam was not an epic hero, the return to the ordinary world is not an apt ending for him. Now, I’m not telling that Sam should have died. What I’m trying to say is that the finale is unsatisfying and, whatever they could have done or even will do if they decide to give SPN another chance, will forever be unsatisfying because, after s5 the show was unwilling to let go of its tragic, aching bones but, simultaneously, force-fed them with the winning formula of the epic narrative structure which, in turn, made tha tragedy even more tragic. (s6 really really tried something different with the whole Godstiel thing but, again, this is for yet another day).

New trials, new villains, always worse than the ones before, the seasons’ quests becoming comically impossible (s13 stopped all the pretenses and was like: look, from now on all the quests will just be quests for random ingredients for spell, just don’t ask and keep watching). In the meantime all characters were SCREAMING, they kept making the "same old- same old" mistakes, their scars were never healed, their trauma always THIS close to be resolved and yet... they all wanted catharsis so bad, they all needed a moment to breath but it was never afforded. Why? Because SPN is a friggin' tragedy and affording catharsis to the characters and the audience means the show is over.

So, you see, on the surface we keep seeing the thousands faces of the heroes but we’re never given the opportunity to see the heroes’ real faces. The s15 episode of “The Heroes Journey” maybe tried to tell us so, to warn us in a way.

Wow, I’m done. I guess. Again, please bear in mind that these are just my silly little thoughts, I may even change my mind because I’m incoherent like that. I’m far more interested in your silly little thoughts so let me know what you think 😊

@iminsideyourgrapefruit i'm tagging you because I promised, but as usual ignore if unsolicited ;))

#spn #supernatural #spn as a tragedy #just some thoughts #i'm just a girl sitting in front of a laptop writing about a show that ended 4 years ago #don't take it too seriously

[megandzane]

It is very clear a lot of people don’t actually understand what it means to be mixed race and how that is a racialized experience in and of itself. It doesn’t matter if a mixed-race person is white presenting or not because they are still mixed-race, and yes being 1/4 non-white and 3/4 white still makes you mixed race.

A mixed person looking white to certain people does not actually make them white because phenotype does not actually play the only role in racialization (despite what some uneducated twitter/tumblr users may think). It plays a role, but cultural engagement/connection, ancestry, religion, names, place of birth, class etc etc etc all play roles too and always have been. Race has never been strictly phenotypical.

This simply means you’re white-presenting* but your race is still mixed. And people are still going to view you as mixed, especially if you’re raised with both sides of your family and people know who your nonWhite family is. Obviously they won’t experience the same issues as monoracial Black people, like texturism, colorism, featurism etc due to them benefiting from all of those things. But they will experience other forms of discrimination due to them being mixed and having Black ancestry, and they already have experienced this.

*Passing refers to white-presenting people who intentionally lie or hide their nonwhite heritage, a white-presenting person who doesn’t do so isn’t passing. Just saying because I see people conflate these two terms a lot.

Yes. Exactly. All of this is so well stated.

Calling a white presenting mixed person “white” is erasing their history and experiences. Some people clearly need to take a history class and learn about what passing actually means. FYI just because someone could pass doesn’t mean they are. Not saying that erases the privilege but there is a difference.

Also I think in regards to Archie & Lili and the extended family they were born into; they were never gonna be seen as white. Those kids experienced racism when they were still in utero. Archie was likened to a chimpanzee before we even saw his face. They are still racing racism.

#I think that distinction is so important #that’s also why I initially used and keep using the term presenting in regards to Archie and Lili #some people clearly need a history lesson #sorry I’m sure this could be worded better #just because you can pass doesn’t mean you are #race is a social construct based on how we look and obviously those who are lighter will be treated much better #but we can’t assume what someone’s experiences are #race

[homosociallyyours]

hi this is kinda random but i just wanted to share my piece on this and i’ve seen you talk about it before so i thought this would be a good place. i’ve been seeing so much blatant misogyny and ageism around here lately and it’s really taken a toll on me. like no matter how much you try to justify it as a moral thing, if you spend your days calling olivia wilde a cunt, narcissistic asshole, bitch, and talking shit about her age you ARE being misogynist. you’re not obligated to like her. i personally am not the biggest olivia wilde fan. a little background story, i was obsessed with booksmart when it came out, so as we often do with micro obsessions i deep dived into all things involving the movie, and that of course included olivia. i watched all the press interviews, read all the print ones, and i thought she was awesome. but as a trans lesbian, i always tend to search for celebrities’ stances on those issues before i start to actively support them and their work. not because i want or need celebrities to be activists, i just need to know they’re not assholes about things that are important to me. and that was when i found olivia’s comments about considering considered “a soft kind of lesbian relationship, just gentle kissing and scissoring” when she was lonely after the end of her first marriage, and not using too much make up because she can easily “go tranny” and the overall brand of trans-exclusionary and overly simplistic white feminism she stands for, and that of course was really hurtful and disappointing to me at the time. but still, i will NEVER ever sit around calling her names and talk about her with so much vitriol like most people around here do while intentionally digging up things from her past to try and make that behaviour somehow justifiable because people don’t want to admit how misogynistic and hateful they really are. but just an fyi, we can see right through it and not only is your deep rooted hatred for women crystal clear, but this rage against beards also makes you look str*ight lmao

Hello nonny!! As you may or may not know I'm a big fan of tea and this is like a steaming pot of Yorkshire Gold, so thank you♡

I know that posting this might upset some friends and mutuals, but i think everything you've said is so important and should be heard. I love everyone i follow, even if i don't agree with their stances on everything, and am not shy about having direct conversations about a thing that bothers me instead of indirecting folks or sending anons, so hopefully anyone who disagrees here will do the same.

I think in particular i really feel you on talking about Olivia's particular brand of white feminism, in large part bc it's one of the more common reasons given by people talking about how much they hate her. Your statements are accurate; she has said some things that lead me to mistrust her politically and that feel very deeply entrenched in cis white privilege. She also seems to vibe pretty hard with a lot of pretentious white male auteurs (she recently reposted stuff about John Cassavetes, for example), and in my experience i just. Don't gel with people who do that.

HOWEVER the thing that always gets me is that Harry presents some of the very same white feminist tendencies, albeit, frankly, worse than Olivia? I love him, but he repeats earnest yet empty platitudes about not letting anyone tell you what to do with your body and donates $. It's nothing award worthy, and although i do appreciate that he wants to be careful what he puts his voice behind, it means that he actually says/boosts very little.

I know people dismiss it as performative activism, but i do actually think that celebrities sharing links to resources can be really helpful. Just to use the most current thing that comes to mind, Harry sharing a link to abortion funds (as Olivia did) would've gotten a message about their existence to a lot of people. A message of support isn't nothing, but it's certainly not evidence of top tier feminism.

I think if i saw more critique of Harry's (or any 1D member's) politics from the "i hate her for her white feminism" crowd, i would feel differently. But as it is, it appears that women are held to a high standard while men get the bar set on the ground and a medal if they trip over it 😬

Also, I wish more people understood that you don't actually have to give reasons for disliking someone! Olivia doesn't have to be a narcissist or have terrible politics for you to hate her. It's fine to just... Not like her. And then maybe not talk about her? Not joke about her violent death. Not make fun of the way she looks (she's ugly because she's a bad person/she's way too old to wear/do that thing so I'm gonna laugh at her).

Set misogyny aside for a second if you've got to-- it's just a horrible way to behave toward anyone, and the target (Olivia) is too distant to be hit by the negativity anyway. Instead those comments can end up hurting the people who read them and making them self conscious. For what?

It's not a popular opinion, but i personally view the beards in a generally positive way at the moment. I choose to believe that Harry and Louis have talked through what they want and made some decisions about how to handle their images. This isn't 2014/15 anymore, and the young men who I think did very much want to come out back then are in massively different places in their careers. There's no road map for an ex-boybander coming out and being successful. There are very few examples of successful solo artists who came out early in their careers and continued to find success afterwards. Harry and Louis are navigating an extremely difficult path, whether they're working toward coming out or not. I don't envy that aspect of their lives.

I think it's likely that the women who Harry and Louis are seen with were chosen (by them!) for reasons that i can't or won't be able to see/understand right now. And as I've said before, there is literally no woman in existence who could be liked as a beard in this fandom. No set of behaviors will lead to people not critiquing these women, and that's evidenced by searching tags on some of the blogs who talk loudest about the beards. (Spoiler alert: not one of them has been palatable if she stuck around for more than a couple days!)

And that's the real sign to me that unfortunately this is misogyny at work. If you can name more women associated with 1D who you hate/dislike than women associated with 1D you do like, why is that? How do you feel about it? Is that reflected in your other social circles or interests? Jamila Jameel asked a similar question on her Instagram a few years back and absolutely changed my perspective on misogyny. Would love it if that could happen throughout this fandom.

#long post #1d #on fandom #i don't wanna tag this as discourse but that's probably what it is #fandom misogyny #stunt mention #bearding #it's ok if you wanna unfollow me for this folks i know it feels bad to read critique that feels pointed #but pls know this isn't directed at a single blog/blogs #it's something pervasive in this fandom that has bothered me more and more over the years #also bc i feel like it'll happen: you are welcome to call me a white feminist-- i am white and a feminist and #i do not consider my feminism above criticism #i do my best to think about intersectionality and to de-center myself when it comes to politics #but i also know i don't succeed sometimes so. yeah. absolutely ready for that criticism here

[ljsstories]

Chapter Twenty Six: The Premiere

"Jensen! Jensen over here!" "Jensen smile, put your arm around her! Yes, that's it!" "Hey Jensen, Jensen!" It felt like being pulled apart by a pack of wild animals. Flashes in his eyes and people yelling his name, telling him to stand this way and pose that way. His co-star was eating it up with a spoon, her hand started at his waist but made its way to his left butt cheek. She looked up and winked at him flashing those pearly white teeth while squeezing him aggressively through the fabric of his Armani suit.

"Chloe! Chloe, look over here sweetheart! You're so pretty! Give us a smile!" Yes, Chloe Cornell was loving the attention in her skin-tight blue dress that left very little to the imagination, it barely covered her ass. She wasn't wearing a bra, her boobs were fake anyway, so she didn't have to worry about them sagging. Jensen felt bitter towards her, after everything, after burying the hatchet and becoming good friends, it all went up in smoke the minute they hit the red carpet. She was up to her old tricks again as soon as the cameras were pointed in their direction, stoking the fire for the tabloids. Jensen looked over at his mentor, the writer and director of this movie, Landon looked green, he was sweating, and he looked utterly uncomfortable as his lovely wife Sarah held his hand and whispered something in his ear. Suddenly a smile spread across his face, and he was giving the paparazzi the thumbs up. His hair fell neatly and effortlessly down his back and his beard was trimmed to perfection. Those blue eyes glinted in the glare of the camera flashes as Sarah squeezed his hand and smiled up at him as if he was a God. Jensen envied them so much, he had a leech attached to him, a blood sucking parasite who didn't care how uneasy she made him feel with her antics. "FYI, I'm not wearing any panties!" She had whispered as her hand brushed against his abdomen, dangerously close to a place he didn't want her to touch. What a stark contrast to Sarah Ellis Chloe was, only out for herself while Sarah stood by her man and held him together when all he wanted at that very moment was to fall apart. Jensen wondered what that was like, to have someone by your side supporting you, telling you everything was going to be alright. Jensen wanted Jane, right then that was all he wanted, to have her by his side telling him everything was going to be alright. But she wasn't there, it had been two months since the show at Rugby Park, two whole months Jensen had stewed in his own juices because Jane had abandoned him. He had tried to contact her several times during those two months, but she never answered him, be it text or phone call or private message, she never got back to him. He was so mad at Eliza that he refused to go through her to get a reply from Jane, he knew that all of this was his fault, that he should have been straight with her from the beginning, but all he ever wanted was to see her shine. He looked over at Landon, he was smiling and nodding towards the paparazzi, he was talking to reporters about his masterpiece as Sarah remained by his side looking proud of her husband. Chloe squeezed Jensen again, knowing he could do nothing without making a scene in front of the cameras, that bitch, some friend she turned out to be. It was all over the papers again, Jensen and Chloe, were they or weren't they. He really didn't want that to take the shine from Landon's movie, which was smashing box office records. There was talk of Oscar nominations in the best actor and director categories, the early reviews were mostly positive. Of course, there were always the odd ones that were personally negative because that particular critic hated the actor or director involved and refused to praise anything they did out of sheer principle. You would never get their approval, so there was no point in trying, or letting it get to you. Jensen and Landon had the same hater in movie critic Davis Underwood. He just couldn't say anything nice about either of them, he disliked what they represented, he hated pretty boys. Davis wasn't particularly good looking, he was short with a receding hair line, he had a major chip on his shoulder, a failed actor turned critic at thirty-five years of age. He just despised actors like Jensen and Landon, who had looks as well as natural talent. He had slated Landon's movie, but it hadn't damaged its popularity in any way, it was just a bitter little man spewing bile. Jensen had to do the whole promotion thing with journalists from magazines and television shows coming in and out constantly, most of the time he was sitting next to Landon so that the interviewers could marvel in their similarities. When Jensen was asked to sit with Chloe, he refused, requesting that Victoria Harper sit in with him instead. She had played Sarah at the end of the film, she was married and had a little boy, she never made Jensen feel uncomfortable and they got along really well during filming. Jensen felt that she wasn't getting enough publicity, after all she had played the lead character's soulmate, she was an integral part of the plot. Landon agreed and made sure that Victoria was given as much attention as Chloe. Not having to pretend to like Chloe Cornell lifted a huge weight from Jensen's shoulders, he didn't have to worry about where Victoria's hands were, they were always by her side. She had a mutual respect for him too, always understanding that deep down Jensen was actually quite shy, he didn't like women lunging at him and touching him inappropriately. One day during takes he had told Victoria how he had to deal with that for most of his music career, he felt he could talk to her, she reminded him of his sister. He also confided in her about Jane, how much he missed her and worried about her, how all he wanted was to hop on a plane and tell her exactly how he felt even though his therapist had told him that was the last thing he should be doing. Sitting in this room next to Victoria, answering another reporter's questions, Jensen felt like he was in autopilot, just going through the motions, he'd answered every question dozens of times, it was like doing take after take on a movie set, repeating the same lines over and over again. He decided to stay with his mother for a little while, living alone wasn't the same anymore. He craved company to silence his loud mind, the voice in his head telling him he was never going to get over Jane, that he was forever doomed to pine for her until he was old and grey and alone, lying on his deathbed lamenting how it could have been if only she'd given him a chance. If only he'd looked up from his phone that night and spoke to her, treated her like a human being, maybe they would have fallen in love and lived happily ever after. She would never have chained him up, he would never have made her life hell, they would just love each other. It could be so easy, why was it so hard? He could blame Eliza all he wanted, but deep down he knew that he should never have meddled in Jane's life, even though his meddling had resulted in something good, something that made Jane's life better. No matter how much he tried to justify it his mother was always there to tell him what a dick he was. His sister said nothing, she was being sugary sweet for favours, Jensen was an awesome uncle and babysitter, she was keeping him onside. Jonah took Eliza's side obviously, he was constantly messaging and phoning her even though they were just friends, Eliza had done nothing wrong, and it was all Jensen's fault. Jonah was right though, that was the part that Jensen couldn't handle, that his dopey little brother was right! Everything that had happened was all on Jensen, he pushed Jane so many times when she'd told him to leave her alone. But there were also times when he was useful, he had been there for her when she needed someone, when her mother was sick Jensen turned his plane around just to be with her. He was always there, she just had to snap her fingers and he would come running, even now, always! If she called right now and said she needed him he would be straight on a plane to Scotland, he would still do anything for her! Even after she completely broke his heart by leaving the concert he had booked, yes it had been his idea and he ran it by Jonah who agreed to do it, just so that she would be there, just round the corner from her house, he would come running and let her destroy him in the process. It wasn't healthy, and he had an appointment with Doctor Jenna to discuss this...again! All they ever talked about was Jane, how he had to resist the urge to hound her, which was so hard. Doctor Jenna was adamant that he try to live his life as normally as possible without Jane, that was a lot to ask of him but he was going to try. During that session at Jenna's office, they discussed his father's terminal illness, something that Jensen was still very numb about. He still couldn't understand why it was affecting him so much. Jenna tried to explain that despite their estrangement, Martin was still his dad, his flesh and blood, and if it didn't affect him then there would be something seriously wrong. "Jensen you're allowed to care about your dad! It's not a crime!" "I know I..." Jensen trailed off and looked out the window. It felt different being in her office in downtown L.A. as opposed to the rehab clinic. They'd been meeting here ever since the movie wrapped and he'd promised Landon he'd keep seeing her. "Is there something else bothering you?" "It's just..." He sighed, closed his eyes and tried to find the right words, "...how do I get my brother and sister to see him? He's dying for Christ's sake!" "People deal with these things in different ways, your siblings are maybe less attached because it was you who heard it straight from your dad. Second hand news, it's maybe not real for them yet. There's nothing you can do to make them visit your dad, all you can do is suggest, the rest is up to them." She was right, Jensen had tried everything to get Jonah and Juliet to meet with Martin, Juliet's excuse was Maddie and Jonah simply didn't want to, as clear cut as that. Jensen had seen his dad a lot, he was even bonding with Lucy as well as Ava, his two lovely little half-sisters. Jensen left his latest therapy session feeling drained as always, but content...as always. It wouldn't last though; it rarely ever did. Turning the key in his mother's front door he could hear Jonah whining away inside. Great, that was all he needed, "All I'm sayin' is where is the harm? We're taking a break from the tour; I could just suggest to Eliza that Hawaii is nice this time of year!" "Hawaii is nice every time of year Jonah honey, just leave the girl alone for a while, huh?" "Mom, I am going out of my fucking mind! I can't do this!" Jensen stood in the doorway of the living room watching his mother comfort baby Jonah once again. He understood exactly how he felt, but he wasn't going to buy into his crazy scheme of sweeping Eliza off her feet. She'd applied for a job as a make-up artist on some Scottish soap set in Glasgow, she had no intentions of jetting off right now. Jonah really was bad at reading situations, a curse he had all through his teenage years and beyond. Jensen cleared his throat and stood up straight. "Hey! What's going on?" "You can butt out ass face!" Jonah moaned, yeah that was mature! Jensen was quite happy that they were taking a break from touring because Jonah had become a right royal pain in the backside since the show in Kilmarnock, after he'd seen Eliza. He pined and whined, and the other guys were just about ready to beat his ass, also Ian was on his last nerve with him too, if he got a hold of him he was going to be mincemeat. "Well, I was just trying to be brotherly and lend you an ear but if you're going to resort to name calling then..." "No, wait!" Jonah called to him as he was about to leave. "Jensen, sweetheart your brother is just...going through a rough patch!" What a fucking laugh, Jensen thought as he watched their mother stroke Jonah's hair like he was still in pre-school. Why did he have to act like such a big baby? Jensen had to suck it up, it was time for Jonah to do the same! He bit his tongue and joined them on the couch, ready to listen to his stupid little brother cry and wail over Jane's sister...again!

***

Jane saw photos online of the premiere of Landon Ellis' big movie, Jensen was there with his girlfriend looking rather uncomfortable, maybe he'd gotten bored of her already. Why did she care? After his betrayal! She didn't...only she did! He did look handsome; the beard was gone, and his hair was its usual length at his shoulders. It was nice to see his beautiful face, blushing as she was thinking this Jane looked over at an unsuspecting Eliza who was shovelling spoonfuls of Coco Pops in her mouth and focusing on the television. "Hey, look Janey, it's your boyfriend!" She let out a sarcastic laugh as Corey Tyler's shit eating grin took up most of the screen. He was being interviewed on Good Morning UK about his role in the new Dracula reboot on HBO. Apparently it was rather saucy, well it would be on that channel, lots of swearing and nudity, something the Americans frowned upon most of the time. "Please don't call him that!" Jane pinched the bridge of her nose, seeing that big blond idiot stressed her out. His latest offering was a weird looking necklace shaped like an egg which had lots of little jewels all over it, it opened up to show a four-leaf clover inside. Eliza had screamed in her ear when she saw it, almost perforating Jane's ear drum. "OMG that's..." The words had choked her as she just stood and stared at the necklace, mouth gaping open. "It's hideous!" Jane had said with more than a hint of disgust in her tone, "What's with the clover? Does he still not know the difference between Scottish and Irish?" Eliza's flabbergasted face left the egg for a moment as she stared at her sister in disbelief. "Janey, have you any idea how much this hideous thing is worth? Do you even know what it is?" "No, don't care either!" Jane shook her head and slammed the box shut so she couldn't look at the offending article a moment longer. "Janey it's a Fabergé egg! This one is worth almost £10,000! You could sell this and pay off dad's mortgage and still have a chunk of change left!" The sisters stared at one another for a few minutes as Jane processed what Eliza had told her. If she was right and it was worth that much, selling it would be the best option, even though her morality was telling her to return it to sender. Jensen would tell her to sell it, why was she thinking of Jensen? Because she was always thinking of Jensen, even after everything, after she found out he had orchestrated her deal with Gemma Lacey, after she'd found out that his stalking had branched out into meddling in her everyday life! Looking at Corey waffling on now, she knew in her heart that no one would ever live up to Jensen Alexander Reed, even after Jane found out what he'd done, was it really so bad? It wasn't like he'd sabotaged her business, quite the opposite in fact! Why was she so angry? Why did she feel like she could never forgive him? As her sister and best friend kept telling her, he was only trying to help her out, so what was his crime? Jane had no answer to that, all she knew was that it hurt, Jensen had hurt her, and she didn't know how to get past it. Deep down she knew it was because he'd asked a favour of an ex-girlfriend, she knew it was because her mind kept going over what their conversation must have been like. Did he flirt with her? Did he sleep with her one more time in exchange for this little favour he wanted? Stupid things to think, but Jane was thinking them anyway, when it came to Jensen her jealousy was over the top. Looking down at Eliza's iPad, seeing Chloe Cornell leaning into him and staring up at him with her pearly white smile, Jane was insanely jealous still. She hated that feeling, jealousy was such an ugly emotion, it caused all sorts of problems and ruined so many lives. People went to war over jealousy, people killed over it, they did unspeakable things over it. Jane just sat and stewed, that was her way of overcoming this horrible feeling that she got any time Jensen's face appeared or when his name was mentioned, or when she heard his voice on the radio. Hatred had transformed into the green-eyed monster, and that was far worse! The forgetting spell that Louise had mentioned a long time ago was looking really good right about now, she didn't hate Jensen, she wished that she did, no how she felt at that precise moment could destroy hatred, it could destroy planets! That was why she needed to completely forget Jensen Reed before anyone got hurt, because someone would!

***

Jensen had decided to recruit his mother to try and convince his siblings to visit their father. He knew that Martin hadn't stayed away out of choice, he knew that Steph had made it difficult for him to be in his children's lives. Steph looked sheepish when Jensen sat her down that afternoon, she knew what he wanted to talk about, "I know you must hate me, for what I did..." She looked him in the eye, a wary expression on her face, unsure of how to proceed, "...but I still love your father! I never stopped!" Steph broke down before she finished the sentence, her voice broke on the last word as Jensen took her in his arms and held her. "It's okay mom, I understand!" He did in a way, not being able to stop loving someone who had wronged you was his speciality these days. "No, you should hate me!" Stephanie sobbed into her son's shoulder, "You should yell, throw things! I deprived you of having a relationship with your father! I'm the reason for everything!" Her heart was breaking just talking about it, Jensen knew how sorry she was, he knew that it must have been so hard to resist punishing the love of her life for leaving her. Would he have done the same to Jane? No way, but maybe he was more like his dad, he kept quiet even though it was killing him. "You're such a sweet boy Jensen, I have no idea where you get that from! Even your brother and sister have my mean streak, my inability to forgive! But you, beautiful boy, you're unique!" "I'm not, I..." "Listen to me!" She pulled from his grip and stared into his eyes, "Don't ever lose that, don't let life take that away from you! It's okay to feel, to love and to accept that you can't change things, don't ever get bitter!" Too late, Jensen thought, he was already bitterly resenting Jane for standing him up, it had never really gone away since that night. It still hurt to think about it, how his attempt to help her had been thrown in his face like it was something sordid and unsavoury. All he did was put in a good word about her to a friend, all he did was help. "Mom, I don't know if I can ever..." He closed his eyes and took a deep breath, trying not to cry, "...she hurt me mom, and this time I don't know if I can get past it! This one is a biggie!" And then the tears came, he hadn't realised just how much it had affected him until he couldn't control his emotions. "Oh my baby!" Now it was Steph holding him in her arms, "I think it's time honey, time you let her go, hmm?" She was right, with his dad being sick and Landon talking about a new major project, River Monster's tour resuming soon, he needed to move on. "I need you to do something for me mom!" Steph rubbed his back and sighed. "Anything baby, just ask!" "I need you to talk Jules and Jonah into meeting dad, you and I both know that if they don't, they'll regret it. Tell them what you told me, please?" "They'll hate me, they're not like you sweet boy!" "Please mom, I don't want them to miss out on having closure with dad, they need this, and you know that! Just tell them?" Stephanie agreed to help her son, even if it meant losing her other son and daughter in the process. Jensen knew it would never come to that; they would forgive eventually. "You know, it's not a curse!" Jensen gave his mother a confused look, "Being an empath, feeling things more deeply than your brother or sister! Marty was like that when we first met, he liked me a lot so when I fell pregnant with Juliet, he did what he thought was the right thing...and he proposed!" Tears glistened her cheeks as she talked about her marriage with his father, "He loved her the moment he laid eyes on her and he stayed for her, he tried to love me. He wanted to love me, I could see it in his eyes, he tried so hard! In the end it was useless, you can't make yourself love someone. Jensen, you can't make Jane love you the way you love her, you need to let go now kiddo!" That pain came back, the moment she told him to let go, the pain came back, and it hurt more now than it ever did before, "Marty thought having another child would fix things, after three years of trying to make our marriage work you were born, a son, maybe now things would fall into place...but it didn't! Then our happy little accident, Jonah, he wasn't planned but don't you dare tell him that, he'll take it the wrong way and you know he will!" She pointed a shaky finger at him, "You were all wanted and loved, even Jonah, he may have been unplanned, but he was loved, and your dad and I wanted him so very much the moment we held him in our arms. You folded yours and huffed, and that's when this epic battle between you and your brother began, a one-year-old boy puffing his chest out and refusing to accept his new sibling!" Now she was laughing softly, remembering Jensen's defiance over a new baby in the family. "Yes, you my sweet boy, you started it, not Jonah! I remember when he had just started talking, he would stumble around following you everywhere shouting your name and telling you he loved you, love you big brother, love you Jensy! You had no time for him, Juliet would comfort him and tell him that you did love him back in your own way. I think you did; you were just always too scared of getting rejected, of getting hurt. Now you let that girl break you down into little pieces, stamp on your heart every chance she gets, and you give her chance after chance. It's time you put yourself first honey, let go!" "I don't know how..." "Sweetheart, you've tried, nobody can ever say that you haven't! How many times are you going to go through this? How many times are you going to let her destroy you?" "I know, I know you're right I just can't...I still love her mom! I'll always love her!" "And that's okay baby boy, you're allowed to love someone, it doesn't mean that you can't let them go! I love your father Jensen, it's not just your brother and sister who need closure, I do too! I need to see him and make peace. I can still love him and let him go at the same time. Do you understand honey?" He did, that didn't mean he liked it, he knew it made sense. He was going to ask Doctor Jenna to help him move on at his next appointment. His mother was right, it was time. He fully planned to work towards leaving Jane behind, but as the weeks went by his dad took up most of his time and if he was honest, he didn't really think about Jane that much. The only time she crossed his mind was when he thought about what she had gone through with her mother, how their situations were very similar. While taking a break between the European and American legs of the tour, Jensen was round at his dad's, getting to know his sisters and spending time with the whole family. Steph had talked to Jonah and Juliet, confessing her darkest secret that she was the reason that Martin had stayed away all those years, after that revelation Jonah said he would think about meeting their dad and Juliet was still keeping very quiet. As the oldest she remembered more about Martin leaving and how their mother coped during the early months of their divorce. It was bound to be harder for her, Jensen knew it was hard for him, even after all these years, even though he was a grown man now...it still hurt that a parent could walk out on their children and never look back. Despite now knowing that that wasn't the whole truth, he bore the scars of a broken marriage and a bitter mother. As he sat listening to his stepmother offload, she seemed to feel comfortable enough around Jensen to do that, he felt sorry for her. He could see how much she loved his dad, how much this was tearing her apart, but she had to be strong for her daughters, "And they mentioned a hospice, but I just don't want...I mean that's a little while away right now but..." "Arlene, whatever he needs, I'm here!" Arlene curled her hand over Jensen's the way his own mother did and gave him a grateful smile. "I know, you've been so generous already I feel awful asking for anything!" "He's my dad, we might not be as close as we should be but we're still family! I'll do anything that needs to be done, please always remember that!" Jensen didn't like hearing about the hospice, as Arlene continued to talk, the phrase end of life care made his blood run cold. This must have been how Jane felt, she'd gone through this with her mother, how did she cope with all this pain? All this shock and devastation! Jensen was barely holding it together. Yes, his mind would drift back to her when things got hard, when he struggled to cope with his dad dying, Jane was the first person that popped into his head. "Well, we have time to think about things, right now all we can do is give him plenty of rest and most importantly, try not to stress him out. He's still hurting over your brother and sister refusing to see him, but I know you tried your best, he appreciates having you here!" Most of the time Martin was asleep, he slept a lot, but there were moments when Jensen got to talk to him, tell him things about his life and the work projects he had lined up. He liked to hear about the tour, and Jensen filled him in on what Jonah was up to, how big Maddie was getting and how cute she was even showing him photos he had on his phone...and he had hundreds! "She has the Hale eyes, that's for sure! That's what made me fall in love with your mother, her big blue eyes! I close my eyes and I see little Stephanie Hale sitting on the bleachers shouting my name! I hated football, but I needed it for my college applications, she made it all worth it in her cheerleader outfit!" A wistful smile crept upon Martin's face as he reminisced, telling Jensen things that he didn't know about his parents. So his mother was a cheerleader? She kept that one quiet! Looking at his father, smiling away to himself, eyes closed, looking peaceful, it was hard not to focus on how thin he was. It was hard not to see how yellow his skin was. Martin was practically bed ridden; he rarely went out other than to the hospital for appointments. The doctors had said that he was doing well considering how progressive the tumour had become, Arlene believed he was waiting to see Jonah and Juliet, only then would he be content. Jensen had tried, Steph had tried, it was now up to them to decide. "You are so like your mother!" Martin mumbled, squeezing Jensen's shoulder as he sat up in bed, his pyjamas drowning his slight frame. He had said that when they met up all those months ago, "I'm so proud of my Jensen, my sweet little boy who used to nurse baby birds back to health..." Jensen had totally forgotten about that, he was four and there was a baby swallow lying on the ground in their back yard, barely breathing. He had brought it inside cupping the tiny bird in his hands calling to his daddy, he got to stay up late that night to feed it with a dropper, "You remember?" Martin whispered, seeing Jensen's confused look. "I do actually!" He smiled back at his father, the bird made a full recovery a few days later and they released it into the garden back to its mother. "If I could, I'd go back in time and I would go to the recitals, I would go to the parents' evenings...I would risk it all! I would stand up to her, I'd..." He trailed off and looked out of the window with a pained expression, "I should have been there!" "Dad..." "No, Juliet and Jonah have every right to hate me, I let my children down! But like I said, it's something that I'll take to my grave, my guilt and my shame!" A tear rolled down his pale cheek as Jensen forced himself to hold it together. "Dad, I forgive you!" There was a long silence, Martin continued to stare out the window as Jensen took hold of his hand, "I forgive you...and I love you!" Martin turned and looked at his son with amazement. "I love you too son!" Another long silence, then he mumbled with a small giggle, "My boy's a movie star!" They talked for a little while longer until Martin felt tired and Jensen left him to have a nap. Ava was waiting for him in the living room, she always wanted to chat with him before he left, he seemed to get along with her more than he did Lucy. "So, you going back on tour soon?" It was strange to talk to someone who was a blood relative and also an adoring fan, very surreal. "Um, I dunno! With dad I..." Jensen stopped and looked into Ava's green eyes, the same colour as their dad's, the way she gazed up at him as if he was more than her brother, like an idol, it made him feel slightly uneasy. "Mom doesn't want him going into a hospice, she's scared he dies without any of us there, like in the middle of the night or something?" She scanned Jensen's face as he felt it burn, "Anyway, I think she'd feel better if she could keep him at home but it's going to be a lot of work, you know nurses and carers and everything?" Jensen simply nodded, he didn't know what to say, he didn't know what was best. He had no right to come barging into their family unit and giving his opinion, so he stayed quiet, and listened. "Well I told your mom and I'll tell you, whatever he needs I'll get it for him! Okay?" He rubbed his sister's arm affectionately as a wave of relief washed over her face. "You're still going to be around..." Her eyes locked onto his, "...after..." "Yeah, of course! We're family, right?" Jensen didn't know what would happen once his father was gone, but he liked to think he could stay in touch with his sisters now that they knew each other. He said his goodbyes to everyone, getting a grunt and a nod from Lucy as per usual, and he headed home to his own place. He was giving it a go for a while, he was a thirty-four-year-old grown ass man, he needed to try and live like one.

***

Jane was a little more than annoyed when she had to find out from Eliza about Jensen's father Martin being terminally ill. It was just in passing as well, because Jonah wasn't all that bothered about it according to her. She could see from her sister's expression that she was slightly shocked over Jonah's attitude, having lost their mother in a similar manner neither of the sisters could comprehend it. Jane desperately wanted to reach out to Jensen, it took her an entire day to compose a text message and send it to his personal mobile phone. It was short and to the point;

*Sorry to hear about your dad, I understand what you're going through so if you ever need to talk, I'm here for you, love Jane x*

She never got a reply, she waited a few days and there was still nothing. She couldn't talk to anyone about it, she was beginning to realise that her reaction a few months ago was over the top, he had only ever tried to help her. All Jane could do now was wait, and hope that he would answer her and take her up on her offer of talking. He never did, it had been a few weeks, still not a word from Jensen! Her own hurt feelings would have to take a back seat as her best friend Louise was dealt a rather unexpected blow in their latest class. Mike Pearson, the dishy Canadian who she had a crush on, was sitting at the table in front of them swinging on his chair like a clown. As the tutor droned on, jotting nonsense on the white board, Mike swung as far back as he could so that he was close to Louise behind him and whispered, "I'm heading back to Canada next week." Louise simply blinked at him as he almost fell arse over tit on his chair but managed to steady himself in time, total fool! He looked at Louise for a long time, waiting for her to say something as she continued to press her pen aggressively down onto her notebook making a rather unsightly splodge on the paper, she was doing it so hard that she'd pushed through several sheets, the dent highly visible. Her lips were pursed, and her cheeks were flushed as her blonde hair fell forward hiding most of her bashfulness. Both Jane and Mike looked expectantly at her, eventually she looked up at him and spoke, one simple word. "And?" Mike jerked his head back as if she smacked his face and his eyes widened. "Okay then!" He nodded and twisted forward in his chair, the four legs finally firmly on the ground. Jane gave Louise a bewildered look as she cleared her throat and continued her assault on her notebook. At the end of the class, Jane tutted and shoved Louise roughly as they left the room, Mike was slowly packing up his things into his plain green backpack looking forlorn and Jane started on her best friend. "What the fuck was that?" "What?" Louise huffed, pointing her nose in the air indignantly. "He wanted you to ask him out, you do know that right? Or he was waiting for you to show some sort of disappointment that he was going back home!" "Pfft, yeah right!" Louise replied shrilly, then after a short silence she grabbed Jane's arm, spinning her round to face her, "Oh fuck, do you think so?" "Yes, he was waiting for you to say, oh no that's awful news, or something! He wanted you to show that you give a shit! Lou you're an idiot!" "Well, it takes one to know one!" She snapped back, "Sorry, but you're exactly the same with a certain pretty boy who sings like an angel and is so good in films that he wins awards! So don't you start with me girl!" She stomped off ahead of her as Mike caught up and brushed past looking sorry for himself. "Hi, Mike?" He spun around, his backpack swinging in the breeze almost hitting another man who was passing him. "Yeah!" Looking at Jane with that rabbit in the headlights look he had in most of the classes. "Before you head back home, maybe a group of us could go out for a farewell drink or something to eat? Maybe?" She was aware that she'd said maybe already but it didn't seem to matter to him, he grinned, fiddling with that green lightsaber keyring of his as it flashed on and off. "Ya, cool, that sounds awesome! Totally!" Jane found Louise sitting in her car, white knuckles clutching the steering wheel. "I've just arranged a date for you under the illusion that there's going to be a whole gang of us, so don't fuck it up!" Louise turned to Jane with her mouth gaping wide open. "YOU WHAT???" She yelled, "For fuck's sake Janey, I can't...why?" "Thank me later, will you drive me home please?" Louise shook her head in disbelief as she turned the key in the ignition and muttered a few profanities under her breath. "I'll pay you back for this, some day I'll get you back you wee bitch!" "You're welcome!" Jane smiled, looking straight ahead for fear that Louise's stare would kill her stone dead. Someone had to do something, so Jane did, if Louise wanted to kill her then she could at least wait until after her wedding to Mike so that she could have Jane as her Maid of honour!

⏮️Previous/Next⏭️

#YouAreTheReason #writeblr #writerblr #writing #writing community #writers of tumblr #writers on tumblr #wattpad #story #story telling #tw illness #tw cancer

[banglatown]

here is an excellent vid by xiran, they articulated my feelings better than i ever could

#pls just leave me alone ... just fuck off #i’m so sick of having to affirm your white saviourism and schisms ... i’m so fucking done #i’m so done w being told that it’s my fault for being insulted by racism and not the fault of the person being racist to me #fyi; IT IS NEVER the place for a white person to say that all these asian movies are the same ... NEVER .. bc that’s what you fucking meant #go get your little cronies to fucking justify and back track and add ✨nuance✨ now yeah ... go ahead #but poc aren’t fucking stupid #we knew EXACTLY what you were saying ... #and then yt ppl wonder why the fuck poc are so weary of ‘socially aware’ yt ppl ... bc you’ve got your racist undertones .. you just don’t #express them openly ... and when you do; you gaslight the communities you offend and make them think it was their fault #at least fucking ➡️ wing ppl can fucking openly admit to being racist #literally stay away from me; i’m so fucking sick of it #and then when as poc we try to talk abt our pain .. YOU THEN GO OUT OF YOUR WAY TO CRY YT GUILT as if the famines and genocides my ppl faced #weren’t as a result of your fucking ancestors .. FUCK OFF #i’m so sick of us having to do the emotional labour of having to reassure you instead of YOU LISTENING AND LEARNING #FUCK’S SAKE #i’m so FUCKING DONE W ⬅️ yt ppl #i’m sorry for getting so upset ... i’m just so emotionally exhausted you lot ... i’m so done #tw death #beebs.txt #tw abuse

[sundaysundaes]

Craving

Lee Donghyuck/Haechan X Reader | Vampire AU, Roommates AU | Smut, Fluff, Humor, Romance

Summary: Dating a brat is exhausting. Dating a bratty vampire is even more exhausting so you wonder, why did I even agree to this?

It’s a continuation of Love Bites but can be read separately because it’s really just 12k long of vampire porn with no real plot.

Warnings: Vampire sex, bondage, oral sex (69), overstimulation, unprotected sex, fingering, implied public sex, a little bit of dom!hyuck and a little bit of exhibitionist!hyuck, blood sucking (plenty of that) 

Not once in your life did you ever imagine yourself dating a vampire. And certainly, never thought about living together with that so-called vampire boyfriend of yours. You never know what to expect from a situation like this but maybe it’s better not to think too much about it anyway since Lee Donghyuck always manages to exceed your expectation.

Before you became his personal midnight snack, Donghyuck had to search for his own food which either meant he had to buy blood bags from the cheapest hospital around or pick up girls with low self-esteems downtown to have kinky and messy—like really messy, blood everywhere, you don’t want to imagine—one night stands with them to fulfill both his needs for blood and sex. He often complained about it, grumbling with his lips turning into this adorable pout as he told you how he wasn’t fond of his way of life or the effort he had to make just to survive.

So now that he has you as his personal walking blood bag, Donghyuck is having the time of his life and he’s enjoying every minute of it. He’s one hundred percent happy all the time that it annoys the heck out of you. It’s not that you don’t want him to be happy—of course, you want your boyfriend to be happy—but happy Donghyuck means he’s gonna get all clingy and playful, and him being clingy and playful means hell.

“Hyuck.”

“Yes, baby?”

“I’m trying to do my laundry.”

“I’m aware.”

“So, can you get off of me for a second, please?”

“For a second? Sure.” He untangles himself away from you but only for a second, literally. “Second’s up!” The way he giggles is almost like a child, circling his arms along your waist and buries his face in the crook of your neck again, nuzzling up to you while chanting, “Cute, cute, cute, you’re so cute. The cutest girl in the whole universe!” 

Donghyuck is clingy as fuck. He can’t go through the whole ten minutes without, at least, ruffling your hair, poking your cheek, or pinching the bridge of your nose. You’ve known for a while that he’s fond of skinship more than anyone you’ve ever met and it was bearable before since he only did it when he was flirting with you. But ever since you’ve become official, he just literally couldn’t get his hands off you.

So, how on earth would you get any of your work done?

The second the sun sinks below the horizon, Donghyuck will come out of his room with the biggest smile on his face and his arms spread wide, “Baby, I’m awake! Come here and get your daily dose of Hyuck’s loving!” And if you don’t respond to him in the way he wants to—which is by embracing him and kissing him for a good half an hour or so—he will make sure you won’t be able to pay attention to anything else but him for the rest of the evening.

He follows you around like a puppy, humming the same Michael Jackson’s song over and over again as he waits for you to finish washing the dishes, his feet tapping against the floor to match the beats in his head.

“Don’t you have something else to do besides waiting for me?” You ask, scrubbing the rest of the barbecue sauce off your plate. 

“I do have something to do.” And he suddenly pops up behind you, blowing air to your ear. “You.”

And you raise your silver spoon in the air, forcing him to run to the other side of the room, whining, “Baby, that’s not fair!”

Whenever you’re busy reading a book, Donghyuck will snuggle close and insist for you to sit on his lap. You’re not complaining in the slightest because it does feel nice and he rarely does anything weird since he also enjoys spending his time watching tv with his chin placed on the top of your head and his arms circled idly around your waist. It’s you who tends to get distracted with the way his chest is pressing against your spine, his laugh reverberating straight to your skin whenever something funny is playing on the screen. And when you get distracted, your heart races, and when he hears your heartbeat increasing, he chuckles lowly, leaning in to nibble at your earlobe while whispering, “If you’re horny, you can just tell me, baby.”

And you smack him in the head with your book.

Today is a bit different. Today, you have dedicated yourself to switch your role and be the one who teases the hell out of him instead. But since he’s too sly, always a step ahead of you whenever you make a plan to humiliate him, there’s only one way you can win this game: ignoring him.

So that’s what you intend to do. When the night takes over and Donghyuck comes out from his room with a bird’s nest on his head and a cheeky grin on his face, saying, “Baby, I’m awake and I’m ready to hear how much you’ve missed me during the day,” you just sit there on the couch, flipping another page of your novel. “Hey, Hyuck,” you simply greet him.

“Hey, Hyuck?” He repeats, appalled and disgusted with the way you said it. “What kind of treatment is that? Is it that time of the month already?” He takes a whiff of the air. “No, it’s not. I can smell it.”

“For the sake of our relationship, please refrain yourself from smelling my scent to know my menstruation cycle in the future, thank you.”

“How? You want me to stop breathing?” He laughs to himself. “Just kidding. You know I don’t breathe.”

You want to roll your eyes and bury your face in your hands—ashamed of the things he said—but you realize that you have to play it cool and give him the cold shoulder.

Placing hands on his hips, he questions with a huff, “So I’m not getting any hug around here?” 

“I’ll be with you in a moment.” 

You move away from the living room, doing literally anything else but giving him what he asks for. Donghyuck sighs and follows you too, as expected, leaning his back against the kitchen counter as he waits for you to finish making yourself a cup of coffee.

“Did I do something that upset you?” He asks, scratching his cheek.

“No, of course not.” You smile, giving him a squeeze on his arm. But then you walk away, leaving him confused and bitter.

Ignoring him is both fun and hilarious because you can see him stealing glances at you even when he tries to act cool about it. He tries to distract himself by playing video games but he keeps on losing so he presses his fingers a little too hard to the controller, nearly breaking it in half.

“Careful,” you warn. “I borrowed that thing.”

“Whatever.” He throws the controller away, scoffing. “It’s stupid anyway.”

To know that his happy self can be reduced to this grumbling mess just because you’re ignoring him makes you feel elated and you wonder, am I a sadist for enjoying this so much?

Hours have passed and you still won’t give in to him, which is really something because he’s doing things that almost make you crawl back to his lap. Donghyuck knows how hot he is, knows how his eyebrow raise and half-lidded eyes do wonders to your heart and mind. So it’s not a surprise when he walks out of the bathroom with his wet hair pushed back, showcasing his temple and his perfect eyebrows. Droplets of water are sliding down from his bare chest to his v-lines, with his white towel hanging dangerously low on his hips. He doesn’t head back to his room right away, and instead, takes a seat on the coffee table, right in front of you.

“Babe.”

You promise yourself inwardly that you will not take a fucking glance at him when he’s like this. “Hmm?”

“I know you’re trying your best to ignore me but your heart is beating like crazy.” He’s raising his eyebrow. You know it. You’re not seeing it but you know it. “Isn’t it time for you to give up your stupid little prank and make-out with me already?”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about.” This time, you open your MacBook, busying yourself with typing words on your keyboards.

Donghyuck walks over—still in his fucking towel and nothing more, for God’s sake—and leans closer from behind the couch. He looks over your shoulder as you browse the internet to find something to distract your thoughts. He snorts loudly when he sees the article you’re reading.

“Chalamet?” He jeers. “Who’s Timothee Chalamet? What kind of name is Timothee Chalamet?”

“He’s an Oscar nominee and he’s barely twenty-five. He’s cute.”

“So? I’m cuter than Timothee Chalamet. Way more beautiful too. Just FYI, they invented the term ‘beautiful’ to describe me actually. Happened a long time ago. It’s a fact.”

“That’s great,” you blankly respond, typing another name of a celebrity on the search bar. “I know there’s another term they invented for you.”

“What, ethereal?”

“Cocky-Ass Bitch.”

He gasps and he’s not even breathing.

And when you keep denying his protest, he pushes your MacBook away from your lap and tackles you down to the couch.

“I can’t believe you’re looking at some other dude when you have me paying you full attention,” he says, wetting his lower lip as he peers into your eyes, his body hovering dangerously close above yours. His eyes are gleaming with both desire and affection which still makes the knot in your stomach tighten to this day but you’re a tad better at controlling your expression this time. A droplet of water drops from the tip of his hair to your cheek.

Wiping it off with a slide of your thumb, you comment, “You’re wet.”

“So are you, ever since you’ve met me.” He winces at his words when a few seconds pass by in silence. “I’m sorry. I don’t know why I said that.”

You tap his cheek. “As long as you’ve learned your lesson.”

He pouts as he heads back to the main topic. “Your prank is going too far, Sweetheart.”

“What prank? I don’t do pranks, Hyuck. I’m not you.”

“So, why have you been ignoring me then?”

“Is it really that weird for me to just have some time for myself?”

“Well—I—” It’s the first time he ever seems lost for words. “I just—”

“What, are you thirsty?” You flatly ask, telling yourself to not let your eyes wander to the muscles in his arms and stomach. “Don’t tell me you want to drink again. It’s only been a day, Hyuck.”

“It’s not that!” He whines, pouting with his eyebrows knitting in a frown. “Can’t I snuggle with my girlfriend?”

“That’s literally what you’ve been doing all this time.”

“Yes, but you haven’t been focusing on me properly!” He sighs loudly, letting you go, and throws himself down on the other end of the couch with a loud huff. “You know what, I think we really should talk about this.”

“Talk about what?”

“About how you’re not really cute these days!” He blurts out, hands moving animatedly as he speaks. “You used to be all fidgety and shy, blushing all the time whenever you see me—”

“In your head, maybe. I don’t recall ever doing that.”

“See, this!” He throws his hands in the air, exasperated. “This is what I’m talking about. You’re mean to me now! Not cute at all!”

“Is this our first fight?” You ask, yawning a little which makes your boyfriend gapes in disbelief. “Are we really fighting over the fact I’m not cute anymore? Seriously?” But when he becomes more upset, you break out in a grin. “I’m just messing with you.” Still laying down on the couch, you tug at his hand. “Come here.”

He crosses his arms on his chest. “No.”

“You don’t want your daily dose of my sweet, sweet loving?”

He shakes his head, his lower lip protruding. “Why should I be the one who needs to crawl over to you? This is your fault. You come here.”

You exhale loudly but on the inside, you can’t help but squeal he’s so fucking cute.

You’re not usually aggressive during make-out sessions—well, at least not with Donghyuck anyway. With Mark, you had to take a lead or else you’d just end up watching TV until you both pass out on the couch. But you decide to step up your game today because just as much as he likes to tease you, you also like to tease him.

“Fine,” you say, crawling over to the other side of the couch and settle yourself on his lap. You lay your hand on his shoulders, massaging the tense muscles. “Better?”

Donghyuck is still glowering at you in response so you decide to take a step further. “You look so hot without your clothes on,” you praise him, thanking God that your voice doesn’t stutter. Your fingertips draw a line from his Adam’s apple down to his chest. “But I guess you already know that seeing how many times you’re doing this on purpose.”

He scoffs, swatting your hand away before he crosses his arms in front of his chest. “Don’t touch me. I’m still pissed at you.”

You chuckle. “Ah, so no Hyuck’s loving for me tonight?”

“No Hyuck’s loving for the whole week.”

“You sure about that?” Toying with the buttons of your shirt, you wiggle your eyebrows seductively at him.

He hears the sound of your button being popped open but gives his best effort to keep his eyes away. “What are you doing?”

“Undressing myself.”

“Why?”

“Because my cute vampire boyfriend is upset,” you pause to stand on your knees, tugging the rest of your shirt out from your skirt before you discard it to the floor. “And I know this would please him.”

He instinctively turns to you, his nose almost grazing your bare stomach before he quickly looks away again, albeit tempted to suck bruises on the supple skin. Donghyuck’s eyes move to stare at the ceiling, gulping at the sound of you pulling down the zipper on your skirt to loosen the fabric before you push it up to your hips, giving him the chance to stare at your thighs when he wants.

“Hyuck,” you move your hips slightly, giving him enough friction to entice his mind. “Baby.”

Donghyuck tries his very best to avert his gaze to anything else besides the part that connects you to him. “No,” he repeats, clenching his jaw.

“But Hyuck…” You realize you’re practically moaning his name now and it’s both embarrassing and exciting that you can play the role of a seductress and having that kind of effect on him. Hooking a finger around your bra strap, you pull it down, exposing the joints between your neck and your shoulder. “Don’t you want me?”

He suddenly whines loudly, throwing his head back with his teeth gritting against one another as he murmurs “You’re unbelievable,” bitterly into the air but you can hear his confidence wavering. It only takes another grind of your hips against him before he snaps. 

You’re suddenly thrown back to his bed before you know it. He was moving too fast for your eyes to process that you could only felt being carried for a split second before you have your back pressed against the sheets.

He’s hovering on top of you, your hips trapped between his knees. “You do realize,” he begins, “That I never just look at you as an object of sexual desire, right? You’re more than that to me.” He bends down, one hand curling against the front of your neck, his thumb tracing your beating vein. “Way, way more than that.”

His sincerity and serious demeanor catch you off guard. “Yeah, also as someone to fill your midnight cravings.”

“Of course not—”

“I’m kidding, I know.” Your playful gaze is replaced with a tender one. “But you always react like this whenever I tempt you that way so I couldn’t help but tease.”

He scrunches up his nose. “You’re not cute.” But the way he slots his mouth against yours speak nothing but praise and adoration. “You’re not cute at all.”

Surprisingly, Donghyuck is gentler after your first sexual encounter with him. Maybe it’s because he feels sorry for sucking too much blood and went a little rough when it was your first time on everything. You always try to convince him that it’s fine and it doesn’t hurt at all during the time you have sex with him—because the chemicals in his saliva triggered an endorphin rush, pumping pleasure all over your body—but seeing how you could barely walk on the next morning, Donghyuck decides to restrain himself.

You still remember the second time he decided to take a step further, about two weeks after your first intimate session with him. Donghyuck was at his very best behavior that night—making you dinner, listening to you complaining about your work, and swaying his body with you to the soft music he played in the background. Being in such close proximity, you couldn’t help but wonder why he never laid a hand on you again. He did drink from you, once every two days, but he always acted so rigid, so jittery when he held you to his chest, drinking from the side of your neck. You were awkward too, not sure how to place your hands or say something to break the tension. You could hear him swallowing, once, twice, taking a big gulp each time and you could feel yourself drowning in refined pleasure, losing track of the world from his bite.

Speaking of that, you notice one thing. This endorphin rush you feel every time he sinks his teeth into your skin also affects your sexual desire. You didn’t realize that before because you were having sex the first time he bit you. You finally understand why those slutty girls he brought home loved having their blood sucked by vampires. Sex with a vampire itself is transcendent, so having your blood sucked during sex? A dangerous, erotic, and lovely bliss.

But Donghyuck never touched you that way, that was the problem. Every time he finished drinking, he’d retract his fangs back, making you whimper at the loss of his effects on you and leaving you dizzy with blood loss. He’d wipe his mouth clean, tilt your face to check on your condition—which you always responded with a goofy smile as you reeled on the lingering sensation of his bite—and say, “I’m sorry that you had to do this for me. I’ll carry you back to your room. Hold on to me.” And you’d allow him to do just that, secretly hoping that he would join you in bed but he never did. 

Was the sex not good? Were you too loud? Too whiny? Too docile? Were you too shy? Does he prefer his partner to take control in bed? Be more aggressive? These questions ran back-and-forth in your mind to the point that you began to have trouble sleeping.

So when two weeks had passed after that bathroom incident and nothing happened, you decided to bring the matter down to the table. You were craving for his touch, even more so when he looked so fucking good with his hair slightly pushed back, his shirt doing nothing at hiding the muscles in his arms, his face hovering just a few inches away from yours as he led you close in a slow dance. You just needed to ask before you went crazy.

“Why won’t you touch me?”

Donghyuck blinked. “What?”

“Why won’t you touch me?” You repeated, heat rising to your cheeks. “After that night in the bathroom, you never… made a move on me.”

That question should’ve triggered something sinful coming from his mouth, probably like, “Oh, so you want me to touch you? Enlighten me, Sweetheart, just how much do you want me? Where do you exactly want me to touch you?”

But Donghyuck actually just stood in silence with conflicted eyes. You had to call his name to force him to speak. “I don’t want to hurt you again.”

“You won’t hurt me—”

“No, you don’t understand.” He cupped the side of your face, thumb rubbing soothingly against your cheekbone. “Drinking your blood already makes me want to do crazy things to you. You’re so alluring, so…” He wetted his lip, his eyes going down to take in the shape of your mouth. “Intoxicating.” He moved his thumb to trace the smoothness of your lips. “I’m just afraid that I won’t be able to control myself when we take a step further than this. I don’t want to hurt you again like I did the first time.”

It’s funny how he mentioned the word intoxicating because that was how exactly you perceived him. His whole being was intoxicating, turning every sound in the room into a whisper, every bit of your surroundings into a blur. The world did not matter when you were with him, as it solely revolved around him.

So you yanked him down by the collar of his shirt, slotted your mouth against his, lips parting to taste a hint of the coppery flavor of your blood on his tongue. Donghyuck instinctively reacted by enclosing his arms along your waist, pulling you close until you breathed heavily against his mouth. He was a man of passion, burning like the sun, lips scorching as he met yours in a searing kiss.

He tried to break away, holding your wrist in the air. “Wait, stop—”

“I have an idea,” you immediately said, kissing him once again just because you couldn’t hold yourself away from the temptation. “I have an idea we can try, so—” Another kiss, but he was the one who initiated it this time. He pushed you against the wall, gentle but dominating, his knee slipping between your legs, pushing up the fabric of your dress. You moaned against his mouth, fingers fisting against his shirt, desperate for support. He slid both hands down your thighs, silky smooth against your skin, and lifted your legs in the air, forcing you to tangle them around his waist to maintain stability.

“Fuck,” you cursed under your breath, reeling in the way he peppered kisses from your jawline down to your neck, tongue lapping at a speck of dry blood on your marked skin. “Let’s go—ah—let’s go to your room—Hyuck—”

He was busy having his hand under your shirt, splaying his fingers on your stomach before they found their way up to your breast, but he heard your order. He carried you back to his room, lips never leaving yours and you found yourself pressed against the sheet the next time you blinked your eyes. 

“Those handcuffs,” you gasped out between his smothering kisses. “Those handcuffs of yours that you keep in your closet. Use them.”

Donghyuck abruptly stopped, tugged himself away. “What?”

You were breathless and lightheaded, chest heaving up and down. “It upsets me to say this,” you confessed, “But I remember that time when we haven’t started dating, I found a pair of handcuffs in your closet and—”

“You went into my closet?”

“To clean your stuff. You had your clothes scattered all over the place so I had to fold them up and when I was about to put them back in, I saw them. I thought it was probably one of your kinks so I just shrugged it off. You honestly didn’t realize how clean and organized your closet was that day?”

“Well, I was never messy to begin with.”

“That’s bullshit and we both know it.”

He pouted, sighing. “Right, so you knew about my bondage kink. You’re telling me you want us to use it?” He gave you a look. “You had sex one time and you’ve already found yourself a kink? Seems like I underestimated your sexual curiosity, woman.”

“It’s not that.” You rolled your eyes. All of this rambling did not fuel your arousal, at all. “I want you to wear it.”

Donghyuck actually looked disgusted. “I like to tie my women, not being tied up, thank you very much.”

“You said you were scared of losing control, right? If you’re tied up, you won’t be able to hurt me.”

He snorted. “A cheap handcuff like that won’t be able to hold me down, Sweetheart.”

“But at least it serves as a reminder.” You laid your hand on his chest, drawing lines on the cold skin. “I mean, I’m fine whether you wear it or not. I just want to be with you.” You pulled him down into an innocent hug, but the way you were grinding your hips against him was anything but that. “But if you feel this,” you palmed his length through his jeans, forcing him to emit a groan from the back of his throat, “can make you lose control then maybe we should try my idea. I don’t want us to stop, Hyuck, and I don’t care if you break me.” You leaned in to bury your face in the juncture of his neck, whispering, “I just want to feel you inside me again.”

“Fuck.” He groaned loudly against your shoulder, fingers twisting against the sheet. “Okay, where’s that fucking handcuff—” The way he tumbled down the bed—a century-old vampire tumbling down the bed—makes you giggle, even more so when he frantically rummages his closet, throwing clothes here and there, muttering, “where is it, where is it, come on, come on, come on, where’s that fucking thing,” to himself, until he finally hooked his fingers around a pair of handcuffs, shouting, “YES, I FOUND THEM,” to the air. 

He hurriedly went back to the bed, looking breathless when he wasn’t even breathing, and crawled on top of you again. He chased after your lips and your laughter soon reduced back into gasps and moans before he finally broke away, asking, “Okay, tie me up. Hurry.” You’d think that being alive for more than a century would’ve taught him some self-control, but Donghyuck was eager and desperate, way more than you were.

He flipped your body before you could prepare yourself so you yelped in surprise, landing on his chest as he laid himself down on the bed, his head nearly knocking against the headboard. He offered you his wrists, saying, “I’m all yours, Sweetheart.” And you gulped hard, heartbeat blasting through the roof, heat rising to your cheeks. 

The handcuffs were made of steel, cold to the touch and you secretly thanked the Lord that they weren’t one of those furry ones you saw in porn movies. You were secretly drooling at the sight of your usually dominating boyfriend lying helplessly on the bed, waiting for you to take the lead; his broad chest displayed under your hands, with you straddling him by the hips. His shirt was slightly pushed up, showcasing his v-lines and his navel that usually stayed hidden underneath. You followed his happy trail, disappointed when it disappeared behind the hem of his jeans.

“Stop being so blatant about it.” His voice was velvety, thick with seduction. “You’re gonna make me blush.”

“I—I wasn’t staring.”

“Never said you were.”

It was annoying how easily he could make you feel all hot and flustered. “S-shouldn’t you take off your shirt first?”

He held back a smile. “I can fuck you just fine with my shirt on but sure, I’ll take it off.” There was something in the way he grabbed the back of his shirt before he pulled it over his head that made you blush, averting your gaze but managed to sneak a peek at the way the muscles on his abs were contracting under the movement.

“Baby?” He snatched you back to reality when a few seconds had passed in silence. “If you don’t tie me up now, I’m gonna tie you up and have my way with you.”

You blushed. That… actually doesn’t sound so bad. You shook your head. That can wait. With shaky fingers, you place one of the handcuffs around his wrist and tied the other one to his headboard. He tried to yank his hand free, testing the strength of it. “I can break this in a split second,” he commented, “But I guess it does work as a reminder.”

“Do you have another pair that I can use to tie your other hand?”

“Leave my other hand free,” he demanded, eyes gleaming as he gazed at you. “I want to touch you.”

You breathed heavily. “O-okay.”

“So,” he smiled, awkward and amused. “We’re doing this?”

You bit your lip, slowly nodding. “W-we’re doing this.”

“Aaw, nervous?” His laughter sounded light in your ears. “How cute.”

“Shut up.”

“Then, come here,” he invited, gesturing you to come close with one hand. “Kiss me.”

You didn’t waste a second longer. 

His kiss was slower this time, almost shy as if it was the first kiss you shared with him and it somehow made your heart beat even faster. You could hear him chuckling against your mouth, probably noticing your heart rate and you slapped his chest playfully to stop him from hearing things he wasn’t supposed to.

“Ah, you’re cute, so cute,” he kept saying, tracing his tongue along your lower lip, begging for entrance. His kisses gradually became deeper, harder, and his muffled laughter was replaced with soft groans. His praise was reduced to your name and you sighed in pleasure when you felt his lips moving down your neck, grazing your beating vein.

The position felt a bit awkward but possibly because you had never done it with him before. You were lying on top of him, your body pressed hotly against his chest and although he was already half-naked, you were still fully clothed. You weren’t sure whether you should undress yourself or let him do the work, but could he do it with one hand?

You remembered the time when he ripped your camisole and bra at the same time with only his fingers.

Yes. Yes, he could.

But Donghyuck seemed to be aware of what you were thinking because he ordered you to, “Take your clothes off.”

“I’m—” Flabbergasted, you pulled away, sitting straight on his stomach. “C-can’t you just take them off for me?”

You could tell he was trying to hold back another smirk from breaking upon his face. “But baby,” he cooed, raising his free hand in the air. “I only have one hand.”

“You practically ripped my undergarments with one finger before.”

“Did I?” His smirk grew prominent. “I forgot.”

“You’re really enjoying this, aren’t you?”

“What, being straddled by my girlfriend as she tries to undress herself while I’m being tied up to the bed?” He shrugged nonchalantly. “Meh, it’s not bad.”

“Why you little—”

Donghyuck’s laughter was contagious when you tickled him on the sides of his stomach that you ended up smiling at him too but it soon faltered when he curled his fingers around your locks, bringing your head down to smash his lips against yours until they were red and bruised. You became nervous once again when he tugged on your shirt, silently ordering you to take it off.

“Okay,” you said, sitting on his stomach, fingers trembling slightly as they were fiddling around the top of your dress. “Can you… look away, please?”

“Why?”

“Because you’re making me nervous.”

“Baby,” he tittered, “Just in case you weren’t aware of this. Being your boyfriend means that I’m allowed to enjoy the sight of my girlfriend taking her clothes off.”

“M-maybe later in the future. Can you just look away now?” When he was still adamant about it, you added, “Please?”

He sighed. “Fine, but in the future don’t blame me if I ask you to strip-tease to make up for this.” He closed his eyes, lips pouting. “Also, this is the only time I’ll allow this to happen.”

“Two weeks in our relationship and you’re already ordering me around.”

“It’s not—” He groaned loudly, opening his eyes again to make sure you knew that he was glaring. “It’s not that. I just really want to look. There’s something sexy about girls taking their clothes off.”

“Girls?”

“I mean, you, baby. Only you.”

You gave him a flat look. “Whatever. Close your eyes.”

He jutted out his bottom lip but followed your command, while quietly repeating your line, “Two weeks in our relationship and you’re already ordering me around.”

“I heard that.”

“I heard that,” he mocked and you flicked him on his Adam’s apple until he whined.

Dating a brat was exhausting. Dating a bratty vampire was even more exhausting, but Donghyuck could also be charming and mature when he needed to be so you forgave him for that.

Seeing how he kept his eyes closed, you reached the end of your dress and pulled it off your head in one try. Strands of your hair were caught in the zipper, tugging at your scalp when you tried to unravel them in a hurry. Clicking your tongue in annoyance, you gave better effort to disentangled them with more patience.

“Need a hand, Sweetheart?”

You jolted, a squeak fell off your mouth. When you turned around to see him, your boyfriend was staring at you with a bratty grin on his face.

“Hey!” Flushed, you slapped him on the chest. “I didn’t tell you to look.”

“You told me not to look when you took your clothes off. You didn’t say anything about me staring at my cute girlfriend having the biggest crisis of her life.” His little laughter was just as annoying as it was charming. “Come here, I’ll help you.”

Your pride wouldn’t let you but you had spent minutes trying to break free from your stupid dress with no satisfying result so, with a heavy heart and a prominent scowl on your face, you bent down, leaning close to him until he could let his hand roam along your locks.

“This is so stupid,” you grumbled.

“I think it’s cute,” he chuckled, carefully unwinding the strands from your zipper. “This is the cutest you’ve ever been to me.”

You blushed slightly. Trying to avert your attention away, you began to focus on the sight in front of you. Pressed against his chest, your face was almost buried in the crook of his neck. You took the chance to press soft kisses on the cold skin, running your fingertips down from his collarbone to his navel. 

“There, done,” he said, tossing the dress away without a care. He sounded a bit breathily when your teeth grazed against his neck. “Let’s not waste any more time. Come here, I need you.” The way he tugged you toward him by your elbow was firm but not forceful. And no matter how much you had kissed him already, he still loved the way you moved your lips against his and never wanted it to stop.

Being on top of him didn’t necessarily mean you were in control. Even with one hand tied, Donghyuck knew how to lead, whispering guidance here and there, sometimes in the way that made you blush from how specific his orders were. Before you knew it, you were both fully naked, with you sitting on his thighs, stroking at his length as directed.

Donghyuck shivered under your touch, his eyes half-lidded in pleasure. “You—” He had to nip on his bottom lip to contain his groan when you swiped your thumb along his slit. “You don’t happen to have any lube with you, do you?”

You were so captivated by the way he looked, all needy under your fingers, that he had to call you by your name to gather your focus back to his question. “Oh, n-no. Why?” You stroked him faster, curling your fingers a little bit tighter around his length.

Donghyuck threw his head back, eyebrows adjoined in the middle. “Fuck,” he hissed, eyes glazed and when they peered back into yours, they were glowing brightly in topaz—almost golden, and brighter from the dim lighting of his room. “Well then,” he heaved, wetting his lip. “I guess, we’ll do it the old school way. Turn your body around for me.”

“What?”

“I want to be romantic and use pretty words, but desperate times need desperate measures so get your ass over here,” he gestured with his hand for you to come over to his face, “and your face over there.”

Steam practically came out of your ears from how ashamed you were. “What?!”

“I need to make you wet and you need to coat my dick with saliva so it won’t hurt when I get inside you.”

He wasn’t joking when he said he wasn’t going to be romantic about it. How the fuck can he say something like that so easily?! “I—I can’t,” you were practically wheezing, “It’s too embarrassing—I—”

“If you don’t want to suck my dick, you can just spit on your hand and—”

“I’m more worried about sitting on your face—”

“Oh, no need to worry about that.” He gave you a reassuring smile which somehow upsets you even more. “It’s actually something I’ve been imagining to happen—”

“Oh my God—”

“Would you stop freaking-out and listen to me, please?” He was laughing and you were having a seizure. “Babe, relax. Trust me, it will feel good.”

You had no doubts about that but still, it didn’t suddenly make it easy for you to just naturally sit on his face. But to be honest, the thought of it was as exciting as it was embarrassing and with Donghyuck being relaxed about it—not making this into such a big deal, unlike how Mark reacted when anything sexual occurred—you couldn’t help but succumb to your own curiosity.

“Okay,” you pressed a hand against your chest. “Just let me calm myself down a little.”

He suppressed a smile. “You’re having a crisis again?”

“Shut up.”

No matter how much you tried to compose yourself, you couldn’t. You became even more nervous, and you thought that wasn’t possible. The naughty twinkle in Donghyuck’s eyes gradually turned tender and he reached out a hand. “Here, let me help you relax.” 

You let him take hold of your wrist, bringing it to his face. He kissed your inner palm before he dragged his lips down to your wrist, his eyes peering into yours as he did it. You could feel his lips turning into a faint smile as they grazed your skin but on the next second, he bared his teeth, extended his fangs, and punctured your skin with them.

“Hyuck—” You yelped from the pain but soon began to lose yourself to the ecstasy of his bite. You could feel all the knots in your body started to loosen one-by-one, your mind becoming hazy with bliss. 

Donghyuck didn’t sink his teeth too deep and didn’t drink too much, only a gulp and nothing more even when his eyes were glowing bright, gravely needing another taste of your blood. He lapped at the wound, kissing the bite mark he made on your skin. “How do you feel?”

“I’m…” Your eyes began to droop, blinking slowly. “Great…. I feel great…”

He chuckled at your words. “That’s good to hear,” he said, “Now turn around and lower yourself on my face.”

You could barely hear him but you got the picture. As if hypnotized, you felt your body moved even before you could finish your thought. Donghyuck’s free hand was placed on the inner part of your thigh as you hovered above his head, spreading your legs apart. “Come down here, Sweetheart, I don’t bite.” You couldn’t see his face but you could tell he was smirking, and if you weren’t this intoxicated, you would’ve smacked him with the nearest pillow over his poor choice of words. But the effects of his bite and the rush of endorphin that were still coursing through your veins made you follow his commands without further question.

You were balancing yourself with your hands on his stomach as he ran his tongue along your folds, tasting you just a little bit but you already shivered at the sensation. “Hyuck…”

He hummed in response, sounding like he was having the time of his life, pushing your thigh further apart so you could lower yourself more, his tongue dipping into your heat this time.

You were going insane, you could feel it. Breathing heavily, you decided to focus on a task at hand. You curled your fingers around his length, thumb brushing against the slit again because you knew how much he liked it before, and you could feel him moan before you could hear him.

You gave a tentative lick on the head, kissing his tip before running your tongue along the vein. Your fingers were stroking the area your tongue didn’t cover and you could hear him purring in content. After a brief second of self-preparation, you parted your lips and tried to go down on him in one try. Donghyuck threw his head back against the sheet, groaning loudly between a train of expletives, so sexy and obscene. 

Hearing his moans encouraged you to do better so you tried to swallow him whole again. You could feel his tip hitting the back of your throat, making you tear up a little bit from the discomfort but you hollowed your cheeks and swallowed around him.

“Jesus fucking Christ,” Donghyuck swore, his grip around your thigh grew tighter that it made you flinch but you continued with your ministration, bringing your hand into the game this time. It was so exciting, the sensation of having him dissolve into a groaning mess under your touch so you stroked him faster, sucked him harder, and continued even when he was practically whimpering in ecstasy.

As an act of revenge, Donghyuck licked his way deep into you with his free hand pumping a finger inside you and adding another one soon after. When you moaned around him, it urged him to go faster, his digits were now scissoring inside of you.

You were practically crying by the time he told you to stop, urging you to turn around to face him because “I want to see your face when you come.” You positioned yourself on top of his length, cheeks bright red from all the passion and lust you have swirling inside your chest, and slowly sank yourself down.

Donghyuck’s handcuff was rattling against the headboard as he reeled in the sensation. His fangs were extended once again, his eyes glowing almost dangerously as he gazed at you from behind his bangs. “Fuck, you’re so—“ he hissed, his eyes going down to the part where you were connected to him. “How can you be so sexy without trying—”

The way he twitched inside of you made you quiver, and you tumbled down to his chest, your face closing in on him. He met you halfway when you sent him a signal to kiss you, smothering you with his lips, wet with tongues and painted with both desperation and urgency.

“Move,” he ordered, his voice suddenly turning low and perilous. “Baby, move for me, please.”

You granted his wish, wincing at the feeling of him growing larger inside you. The friction still burned so you tried to muffle your cry with his kisses, but after a few shallow thrusts, you could finally feel yourself relaxing, adjusting to his length.

“Faster,” he urged, unconsciously tried to hold your hips with both hands and groaned loudly when his handcuff pulled his hand back to the headboard. “Dammit. Baby, please, move faster.”

“Be patient,” you said between small gasps. Your nails were almost sinking to his chest. “It’s only my second time, Hyuck. Let me do it at my own pace.”

He initially groaned in protest, eyes tightly shut with his eyebrows furrowed but when he managed to collect himself, he apologized, "You're right, I'm sorry. I don't know why I'm so hasty, you just make me feel so—" His jaw hung low when he felt you move, and by the time you began to clench your walls around him, he took his bottom lip between his teeth, leaning his head back against the headboard, relishing the moment.

As you steadied yourself with your hands on his chest, grinding your hips against him, you admired the details of his profile—his sultry half-lidded eyes, his plump lips, his cute front teeth that peeked out when he parted his lips in a silent moan, the tiny moles on his jaw and neck. He was both handsome and cute, and you were lucky—so damn lucky—to be able to witness these details with your own eyes.

“Fuck, I can’t—“ His voice startled you, snapping you out from your reverie. “I can’t do it like this. I’m gonna go crazy. Can you get off for a second?”

You were frowning but his urgency made you follow with a nod. You let him slid off of you, wincing slightly at both the pain and the loss of him. Donghyuck shifted his body until he was sitting on the bed, his spine pressed against the headboard. “Okay, come here,” he said, patting his thigh twice. You crawled over to his lap as requested, sitting on your knees as he held his length in one hand, positioning it over your entrance. You lowered yourself down, adjusting to his size once again and wrapping your arms around his neck for support.

“I can never get used to the feeling of you taking me in like that,” he murmured against your ear. “You’re so fucking tight.”

The new position allowed you to embrace him properly and you took advantage of it, meshing your lips with him as you bounced up and down, your breasts pressing against his chest. His free hand was urging you to move faster, nails sinking into the skin and you complied, trying to move as fast you can. “Yes,” he moaned, mouthing against your shoulder. “Just like that. You’re so good.”

The sounds he was making were so erotic that they made you weak. When he felt your movements gradually became slower, he began to buck his hips forward, thrusting into you hard while holding you firmly with one hand. 

He nearly broke his handcuff from how desperate he was in wanting to hold you tightly with both hands, fucking you senselessly like how did with you before in the bathroom. But the way the steel was nearly sinking into his skin reminded him of the sole purpose of having it around his wrist. Feeling restrained only made his thrusts grow even more frantic, pushing your hips down to meet his at such a quick pace.

“Wait—” Taken by surprise, you clutched your arms tightly around him. “Hyuck—”

He suddenly sank his teeth on the skin under your jaw, between the earlobe and the collarbone and you nearly jumped out of your skin. For half an instant, it was agonizing. Painful and horrible. And then, just like that, the pain disappeared. He swallowed twice, moaning against your skin, his thrusts going out of rhythm. 

The rush of endorphin helped to push you to the brink, clouding your thoughts and you couldn't tell where your body ended and his began but it didn't matter. That was how you always wanted it to be anyway. Donghyuck's lascivious grunts tugged on your heartstrings and with a couple of his hard thrusts, you began to shake. "H-Hyuck, I think I'm gonna—"

His mouth was still on your neck, now sucking bruises with his cuspids threatening to puncture. "Come, baby."

You came undone, body trembling with the biggest orgasm you’d ever felt. Donghyuck moaned your name against your ear when he felt you clenching and shaking around him. “God, that felt so good,” he said, still moving his hips, not caring if you were still sensitive after your orgasm. “You feel so good around me. Fuck, I want to do this again and again—I want to feel you more—I want to break you—”

And when his hips began to stutter, you knew he was close. He pulled you into a messy kiss where you could taste copper on his tongue but you didn’t mind and bounced faster on his lap, driving him to the edge.

You were startled by the sound of him breaking free from his handcuff with a hard yank of his wrist, but before you could react, he was pushing you off his lap, forcing you to stand with your knees on the bed, facing the headboard. Still reveling in the aftershock of your orgasm, your legs almost gave out on you so you placed both hands on the wall for support. "Hyuck—"

He was almost growling when he placed both hands on your hips and pushed himself back in a way that was so forceful, you ended up having your upper body pressed against the wall. He brought your hips closer to his, his tongue trailed against the dip of your spine, and you begged him to, "S-slow down, I just came—" but all that he did was the opposite. He snapped his hips forward, knocking the breath out of your lungs with each pound while murmuring, "Just a little bit more, baby," with so much lust and avidity. You gritted your teeth, curling your fingers against the railing of your headboard as if you were hanging on for dear life. Everything felt so good, so fucking good that you began to part your mouth in a silent scream. 

With his head dangling forward, glowing eyes covered with his fringe, and your name tumbling down his lips in a soft, throaty moan, he came.

***

“How are you feeling?”

Dazed and completely fucked-out, you thought, but only answered with, “Tired.”

“Are you hurt somewhere?”

You shook your head.

“Thank God,” Donghyuck pulled you closer by the waist, both of your naked bodies were buried under the blanket. “I kind of lost control at the end.” He sheepishly chuckled at himself. “You were so hot when you came.”

“Shut up.” But that only made him laugh a bit louder. He pried your hands away before you could bury your face in them and cupped your cheek so you could do nothing but stare back at him.

“Is it too fast to say I love you?” He asked and his eyes were sincere but you were too embarrassed to respond properly so you pushed your palm to his face, pushing him away.

“Of course, it’s too fast. We’ve only started dating for like what, two weeks?” But the way your heart almost leaped in joy betrayed you. You turned away from him, focusing your gaze on the bed lamp on his nightstand instead of his face. “If you tell me in like a year or something, maybe I’ll believe you.”

His laughter was warm, a stark contrast to how his skin felt under your touch. He leaned close, lips brushing against your hair as he embraced you close to his chest. “Then I’ll say it every day until you say it back to me next year,” he said, voice gentle and sincere. “I love you, baby.”

“Ugh, you’re gross.”

“There you go, playing hard to get again.” He whispered the next words with his lips brushing your earlobe. “Your ears are going red, though.”

“I’m going to kick you.”

“Well, I’m going to love you.”

But you kicked him anyway. The playful punches and kicks under the blanket managed to ease the tension, and before long, you were back to exchanging nonsensical banters with him again. The sunrise was still three hours away and even though your eyes were a bit heavy with sleep, your body exhausted beyond belief, you tried to keep yourself awake to spend a moment longer with him. You didn’t have any schedule the next morning anyway, so you could sleep to make up for the time you spent.

“Hyuck?”

“Yeah?”

“There’s… something I’ve been wanting to ask you for a while but I couldn’t since I felt so embarrassed about it.”

“Oh? It’s not often you’re honest like this.” He smirked, pushing the bangs out of your eyes. “What is it?”

“Did you…” You cleared your throat, trying not to be awkward. “Did you get to come when we had sex the first time?”

He blinked twice, startled. “Oh… I didn’t, actually.” He timidly smiled. “You kind of passed out during that time and I didn’t have the heart to continue so I just carried you back to your room.”

With cheeks turning scarlet, you squeezing his hand. “Oh my God, I’m so sorry.”

“Don’t be.” He pecked you on the nose. “It was my fault anyway. I shouldn’t have taken so much of your blood.” He gradually grew more serious. “I guess I’ve never thanked you for that, huh?” He tucked some strands of your hair behind your ear. “Thank you for giving me your blood. You’re literally the reason why I’m still alive to this day.”

“You’re welcome.” You mirrored his smile. “I have two other questions if you don’t mind.”

“Shoot.”

“Can vampires actually come?” You had to look away, noticing how stupid your questions was and added, “I mean, like, properly? Like humans do?”

“What, you didn’t feel it when I came inside you just now?”

You blushed madly. “I was too dizzy from the bite to notice.”

“Right, you passed out too. Again.” And before you could shout out your protest, he muffled your lips with his. “Of course, we can, Sweetheart. What, are you interested in making me come again?”

You gulped. “M-maybe later.” When you noticed him raising an eyebrow, you mentally slap yourself in the face.” I-I mean, not that I’m suggesting we should have sex again after this—”

“Oh? I was willing, though.” His godforsaken smirk should be banned from this world. Earning another punch to his stomach, he asked with a wince, “What’s the other question?”

You were still pouting from before but you asked, “Can vampires impregnate humans?”

“So eager to have my baby already? Two weeks in our relationship? Really?”

“Do you want to be punched again?”

“By your lips? Yes, plea—Aaw, hey, that hurts!” As he tried to soothe the pain away from the punch you landed on his chest, he added, “To answer your question, no. We don’t breed that way. Vampires are turned, not born.”

“How can you be so sure?”

He laughed. “Trust me, if vampires could get humans pregnant, then I would father hundreds of Hyuck babies by now.”

The thought of him having sexual relationships with other women in a way that was probably much hotter than yours made your heart drop to your stomach. There was an unfamiliar pain in your chest, pumping jealousy and resentment to your veins, clouding your thoughts with images of him lying in bed with naked women.

You turned away to face the ceiling, not saying a word. Donghyuck seemed to notice the way you got all tense and rigid so he laced your fingers with his, bringing your knuckles to his lips. “There’s only you now, you know that, right? For me, there’s only you.”

 You nodded but only so slightly, still felt uneasy. You knew that it wouldn’t be fair to be mad at him about this—it’s not like he was cheating behind your back. And he’d lived for more than a century, of course, he had plenty of both romantic and sexual relationships. You were just upset because he was your first and that meant the whole world to you, but you weren’t even included in the top 10—or 100, even.

Donghyuck eyed you in concern and carefully wrapped an arm around your stomach, fingertips trailing around your navel. “Did you realize that,” he began, voice soft and tender, “a few months before we started dating, I stopped bringing girls to our apartment? I switched entirely to blood bags to the point I had to spend all my money. Do you know why I did that?”

You turned to him, snuggling close but still wasn’t brave enough to make eye contact. “Why?”

He had his lips brushed against your temple as he spoke. “Because it felt wrong. Every time I got together with someone, I thought about you. When I drank their blood, I thought about how your blood would taste like in my mouth. When I held them, I thought about what kind of face would you make as you writhed underneath me. When they moaned out my name, I thought about how hot would it be if it tumbled out from your lips instead. You, with that cute voice of yours.”

You blushed from ear-to-ear. “I-Is that so…”

He smiled a little, probably noticing how loudly your heart was thumping inside your chest. “I had to stop entirely when I accidentally moaned your name during sex. Man, she was so pissed.”

You nearly fainted from the sheer embarrassment. “How can you say these things so nonchalantly?”

“I’m actually pretty shy about it.” And this time he did sound sheepish. He lowered his head down, lips lingering close, nearly grazing the vein that beats faintly under your neck. “So don’t think about my past too much, because I’ve been thinking about you—only you—for a while now.”

You shivered, his lips ghosting over your skin. “Cool.”

Donghyuck pulled away, scrunched up his nose. “Cool?”

“Yeah.”

“I literally just poured all my feelings out to you, embarrassingly so, and your response is cool?”

You gave him your signature ignorant shrug. “Well, I’ve known for a while that you had a crush on me. I’m flattered. Thanks.”

“You’re so—” He attacked you with playful pokes and tickles, hands fumbling all over the place until you both ended up falling from the bed, laughing against each other’s mouth.

***

“Babe, you ready?”

You push your door open at the sound of his call, still struggling with tidying your bangs so they can frame your face perfectly. You’re about to go on a date with your boyfriend and this is the first time he actually asks you out properly. You’ve gone out many times with him before but it was always either to shop for groceries or have dinner in the cheap Chinese restaurant nearby.

So you kind of dressed up all the way, curling your hair and tying it up in a perfect ponytail—because you know just how much he likes seeing your neck exposed—wearing minimal make-up but with bright red lipstick, and a matching red off-shoulder dress that highlights your collarbones. 

“Do you think this is too much?” You ask from the bathroom, still busy trying to put on your earring. When you’re done, you walk back to the living room, approaching his spot. “You haven’t told me where we’re going so I’m not sure what to wear—” You catch the way he’s looking at you, wide-eyed with lips parted in awe. “W-what is it? Are you thirsty again?”

He blinks himself awake. “For blood? Nope. For you?” He’s not subtle at all with his staring, eyes going up and down your body, committing every feature to his memory. “Parched.”

“If you’re gonna be this embarrassing the whole date, I’d choose to stay home, thank you very much.”

“What, can’t a man appreciate his girlfriend’s beauty?”

“Sometimes just a simple, you look nice, is enough.”

He chuckles softly, closing the space between you and running his thumb along your cheekbone as he cups your face. “I want to kiss you and ruin your lipstick so badly,” he murmurs, eyes almost glowing. The way he brings his lower lip between his teeth as he stares at you in a daze makes your stomach flip in delight. “But you look very beautiful right now and it would be a waste. I’ll wait until the end of our date. Then, I’ll savor every bit of you.” He leans in to whisper close in your ear, his smirk grazing against your earlobe. “In any way possible.”

You yank him by the hand, pulling him towards the door. “Let’s go, let’s go, let’s go.”

You can’t wait until your date is over.

***

Donghyuck reeks with charms and allures. You notice that, certainly, but unfortunately for you, so do other people because he is gathering attention from every woman he passes by on the street—even some men. He’s just walking along the pavements in his black ripped jeans and denim jacket, but he makes it look like a fashion show. He’s deep in concentration, thumb sliding on his phone’s screen as he searches for the location of the place he’s planning to take you. His brooding look makes you swoon but you try to be subtle about it, unlike those females who pass by, practically undressing him with their eyes.

You’re uncomfortable and jealous but you try to keep yourself composed. “Is it far from here?”

“Just a couple of blocks,” he answers, smiling as he tucks his phone back. “Are you hungry? Do you want to stop by and grab some dinner before we go?”

You’ve lost your appetite. “I’ll eat on our way back.”

“You sure?”

You respond with a nod but he seems worried. You notice some people whispering behind your back, questioning with a mocking tone about your status with this God-like male in front of you and you couldn’t help but to sigh. “Can we go now?” Your tone sounds a bit cold even to your own ears, and you feel sorry because this is not how you planned your date night to go.

Donghyuck must have noticed the silent chatters, or at least, the hurting look on your face. Taking a hold of your wrist, he pulls you forward until you stumble to his chest and kisses your lips. You swear you could hear people gasping at that, but you don’t care. You don’t care that he’s kissing you in public, on the side of the street, with his hand secured tightly around your waist. You don’t care if your lipstick is ruined, though he kisses you softly to make sure it stays intact. And you don’t care if people are questioning his sanity for dating a girl like you because Donghyuck belongs to you and he’s proud of showing that to the world.

When he lets you go, your lips are curving up into a grin, cheeks reddening both from the cold and his touch. “You have lipstick on you,” you say, tiptoeing on your feet to brush the stain off his lips with your thumb, and Donghyuck, with that sexy, mischievous twinkle in his eyes, parts his lips, playfully placing your thumb between his teeth just a second before he lets it slide away. Your head is about to explode from how sexy he just looked and he chuckles at the sight, pecking you on the forehead once. “Let’s go, baby.” He strokes your hair before he lets his hand slide down to your waist again, walking next to you with your body pressed close to his side.

It turns out your boyfriend is taking you to a photo studio which is quite huge for a normal photo shoot. As you see so many staff, models, and photographers around you, walking back-and-forth in the studio to make sure everything is in order, you begin to realize. “Are you—”

“Yep,” he beams at you, proudly. “I’ve got a modeling gig.” 

Your eyes grow wide because by the brand logo that you see plastered all over the place—on the back of the chairs, the doors, embossed in articles of clothing—it’s one of the top designer brands in the country. “What—how—” You’re flabbergasted. “How did you get this job?”

“I got cast on the street.” He simply shrugs. “It’s a one-time gig though, so nothing serious. But it is my first time so I’m pretty nervous about it, which is why I brought you along.” He swats the bangs out of your eyes, looking apologetic. “I’m sorry. This is probably not how you imagined our date night was going to be.”

“No, but this is better.” Your eyes are scanning the place. “Look at all these models! They’re so beautiful—Oh my God, I know him!” You almost jump on your feet at the sight of a famous model getting his hair fixed by his stylist. “Isn’t he the one who was on the cover of W Magazine last month? Oh my God.”

“Hey, hey, hey, hey,” Donghyuck pulls you back by the fabric of your dress. “I didn’t invite you to ogle at another man’s body.”

“It’s not his body, Hyuck. It’s his face, look at him!” You gesture toward the man with a sigh. “Look at those cheekbones, sweet Lord. His jawline has me feeling like sliced bread.”

Donghyuck snorts loudly. “Are you an idiot?”

“Might as well be. Can you get me his autograph?”

“I’m leaving.” And he really walks away, just like that, with his hands tucked inside the pocket of his jeans, and a scowl on his face.

“Wait, I’m sorry,” you hurriedly say, taking a hold of his arm. “Good luck with the photo shoot. I know you’d be amazing.”

He’s still not happy when he looks at you but he sighs, patting your head. “Thanks. You can wait for me in the hall. I think they have snacks and stuff.”

“Can’t I just linger around here?”

“To see me or to see him?”

“To see you, of course.” There’s no hesitation in your voice. “Seeing him is just a bonus. You’re my number one, Hyuck.”

He leers at you with suspicious eyes, still not one hundred percent pleased or convinced. “Well, I have to go. I need to change and get my make-up done.”

“Wait.” you hold him back again. “Do these people here know you’re, you know, not human?”

“No, and I intend to keep it that way. So, if you could just not mention it again, that’d help.”

You nod but when he’s about to part ways again, you reach out to him once more. 

“What?” He whines, groaning. “I really have to—”

You stand on your toes and interrupt him with a kiss, hands winding around his neck. It’s just your lips meeting his for a few seconds and nothing more, but it’s still painted thickly with passion and desire.

“Good luck,” you whisper with a shy smile. He’s left a bit dazed but eventually nods his head. When he walks away, he rubs his nape, a gesture he tends to make whenever he’s flustered. You grin proudly to yourself. He’s wrapped around your fingers just as much as you are around his.

After half an hour has passed, you see Donghyuck walking back into the studio in a new outfit that makes him look so goddamn attractive that it literally steals your breath away.  He’s wearing all black, from his turtle neck shirt, his khaki pants, his suit, even his hair looks somehow darker. He’s absolutely gorgeous, even the male photographer has to stop and stare for a good few seconds before he remembers to adjust his lenses.

Donghyuck poses naturally in front of the camera and it startles you how a simple pose could look so beautiful when it’s done by him. He unbuttons his suit, lets it falls off his shoulder, his eyes half-lidded as he stares into the camera—everything that he does reeks masculinity and femininity at the same time and you don’t know if that’s even possible. You’ve known that his body proportions are insane but this outfit just highlights every inch of his body that needs to be appreciated. 

A staff hands him a rose and he brings it close to his face, his lips grazing against the petal—making him look like a painting. His usual cheeky grin has vanished without a trace and the way he stares back at the camera—both enchanting and challenging—sends shivers down your spine.

Fuck, how is he so hot?

Two hours long photoshoot feels like a minute to you and you’re feeling a bit dazed when it’s over. Donghyuck walks over to your spot, pushing up his long sleeves to his elbows. “Hey,” he says, smiling a little. “Sorry, did I make you wait long?”

“Oh… Umm…” You’re blushing and you don’t know why. You’re just suddenly overwhelmed with his presence. “Y-you were…” Fantastic. Breathtaking. Absolutely gorgeous. Please take me home and have me as dessert. “You were good.”

“Good?” He raises an eyebrow, making you gulp. “That’s it?”

“I…” Your fingers are curling against the fabric of your dress. “You were great.”

Donghyuck seems a bit amused until he realizes something. He leans close, making you flinch when he takes a sniff near your neck. “Why do you smell like you’re…” A smirk creeps up his face. “Aroused?”

Yes, okay, just kill me. Kill me now. “I’m not—”

“Seems like someone is enjoying this photoshoot too much.”

You’re about to combust into flames. “Are you done? Can we go home now?”

“You want to go home? And do what?” He bites the corner of his lip as he tries to contain his grin. “Enlighten me, Baby.”

He’s seducing you, torturing you, and he’s enjoying every second of it. “Fine, then. I’ll walk home by myself.”

But as you turn around on your heels, Donghyuck grabs you by the wrist and pulls you forward to match his step, going in the opposite direction of where you were planning to go. “Wha—where are you taking me?!”

He shushes you quickly and makes a turn, barging into one of the changing rooms that models often use to get prepared for the photoshoot. The room is bright with fluorescent lights, though not as spacious as you’d thought it would be, but the only thing that matters now is that it’s unoccupied. 

Donghyuck kicks the door closed with his feet before he pushes you against it, lips meeting you in a searing kiss as he locks the door behind you. “Your scent,” he breathlessly says against your mouth, running his tongue along your lower lip. “It’s so thick with lust.” If it’s as thick as the teasing tone in his voice, you’re so doomed. “Are you okay, baby?”

“Shut up.” You kiss him, fisting the fabric of his shirt before you pull it off his head. Your hands immediately go down to his chest, caressing his stomach before they circle his neck again. “If we’re gonna do this then hurry up and fuck me.”

A small laugh reverberates from his chest. “So aggressive. And to think you were so shy yesterday.”

“Shut up. Does sex usually involve this much talking?”

“With me, it does.” He purrs against your ear, tugging your earlobe between his teeth. “Because then I get to see more of your expressions.” His tongue feels hot and dangerous on your sensitive skin. “You’re so fucking cute when you blush, but you being aggressive like this isn’t too bad.”

“Shut up, shut up, shut up.” You’re already dying from shame and his unnecessary comments only fuel it even more. “Are we really—” you gasp when he pushes you up the wall, and you quickly tangle your legs around his waist for balance, the back of your red heels pressing against his spine. “Are we really doing this? Here?”

“Of course, we’re doing this.” His hands are sliding dangerously along your thighs, pushing the fabric of your dress up your body until it pools around your waist. “I’ve been wanting to do this ever since you laid your eyes on him.”

“What—” You throw your head back, making a soft thud when it meets the door. Hopefully, no one catches that. “You mean that model? I was just kidding—”

“Kidding?” He slips two of his fingers inside his mouth, coating them with saliva and it’s so sensual, the sight of him, that only seeing him do that already makes you feel sinful. He slides his hand down between your legs, wet fingers immediately finding their way to your heat from the side of your lingerie. “I don’t think it was funny.” He inserts his first digit, making you sink your nails into his shoulders. “Do you, baby?”

You’re breathing hard, temple pressing against his. When he feels you stretched enough, he adds another one. “Baby, I asked you a question,” he chuckles, scissoring his fingers inside you. “Do you think it was funny?”

“No.” You shake your head, a sob nearly escapes your lips.  The mixed feelings of being dominated, teased and pleasured at the same time make you feel lightheaded, and he hasn’t even drunk from you yet. “I-I’m sorry.”

“Aaw, but I’m not mad,” he coos, kissing you softly on the corner of your lips. “I’m a bit pissed-off but certainly not angry.”

His words are doing very little in reassuring you but you’re too busy focusing on the way he’s pumping his fingers in and out, his thumb rubbing fervently against your clit. “Hyuck—”

“Sssh.” He perks up, his movements stop abruptly. “Someone’s here.”

You mouth What?! in horror, about to shove him away so you can land back on your feet and fix your clothes and hair but he keeps you still. He presses his body harder, one hand holding the back of your thigh while his other one still lingers near your lingerie. There’s absolutely no way you can fight his superhuman strength.

Within the next few seconds, you can hear the clicking of heels meeting the marbled floor and you hold your breath, fingers shaking but the rest of your body is still. Donghyuck keeps his gaze on you, his eyes unwavering as he tries to read the situation.

“Hey, it’s locked. Why is it locked?”

“I don’t know. It wasn’t locked before.”

Two female voices can be heard from exactly behind you and you’re about to break out in a cold sweat. If you breathe just a little bit harder, they probably can hear you. Donghyuck notices the way your breathing tatters and with a gleam in his eyes, he smirks.

And moves his fingers again.

Your hand immediately shifts from his shoulder to his wrist, trying desperately to keep it from moving. Your eyes are throwing ice daggers as you mouth don’t you fucking dare to him but his sly grin only gets wider. He leans in to pepper sultry kisses on your jawline, up to your ear, whispering, “Keep your voice down.” And though he speaks reassurance, his fingers are not.

He slides one between your folds, tentatively pressing into your heat before he drags it back, heel continues to add pressure to your clit. It’s when he inserts the digit back into you that you begin to flinch. He helps muffle your voice down with his kisses first but when you truly need to be silenced, he pulls away, enjoying the view of your cheeks turning scarlet, bangs sticking to your temple with sweat, and adding another finger into your warmth.

“So cute,” he whispers, his eyes are starting to glow. You notice that their color changes depending on what he’s feeling.  They glow when he’s thirsty, that much is obvious, but there’s also one other condition. The more he’s aroused, the brighter they get, almost turning topaz entirely, and soon his cuspids will follow, extending to take a bite. He still has his fangs retracted, but his eyes are gradually gleaming brighter as he takes in your expressions. “So pretty…” The way he praises you is almost like he’s in a haze. “I love seeing you like this.”

“What to do? My purse is inside.”

“Shall we ask around for the key?”

You’re so scared, terrified beyond belief and Donghyuck is savoring every moment of you trying to contain your moans. “Aaw, they’re going to open the door,” he murmurs against your ear. “What do you think we should do, baby?”

Fuck if I know. Your eyes are closed shut, your fingers curling against his nape. He licks a stripe up your neck, moaning softly from the desire to fill his mouth with your blood. “I know one thing for sure,” he swallows, wetting his lip. “I need to make you come first.”

Donghyuck always lives up to his promise. He knows what he’s doing and it feels extremely pleasant having his fingers deep inside you but you can’t give yourself into the pleasure entirely from the fear of being caught. But as he goes faster, now focusing more on playing with your clit, you feel fire coursing through your veins, loosening the knot in your stomach, and out of panic, you bite him hard on the part where his neck meets his shoulder, muffling your moan as you come onto his hand.

You can feel him flinching, a low grunt erupting from the back of his throat but you’re too dazed to notice. When the aftertaste of your orgasm starts to decrease, Donghyuck lets you down to the floor. You have to keep your hold on him as your legs wobble under your weight and when you look up, you see him with his fangs fully extended, his eyes glowing as bright as the sun.

“Hyuck—“ He bites into your skin without permission, and he does it fiercely, sloppily, that your blood begins to taint your dress. You’re grateful that it’s at least in the same color as your blood so a few drops won’t be noticed. The rush of endorphin calms your nerves, almost leaving your senses dull and you slide down to the floor, your spine still pressed against the door.

When he pulls away, he lets his tongue runs along his lower lip, wiping it clean from your blood. His eyes are strictly golden.

“My turn now.”

***

#haechan smut #haechan fluff #fullsunnet #lee haechan #nct scenarios #nct imagines #haechan scenarios #haechan imagines #haechan #lee donghyuck #haechan nct #nct smut #Haechan x reader #haechanxreader #nct fluff #nct timestamps #nct blurbs #haechan timestamps #haechan blurbs #haechan fics #nct fics #nct dream #nct #nct 127 #Craving a.k.a the unneeded sequel of Love Bites #there's no plot it's just me writing down my fantasies #seriously guys I got so many messages of you all being thirsty for more vampire!hyuck that I had to write one #and yes the outfit he wore during the photoshoot is the one from his nct dream season greetings 2020 photoshoot #we all know how HOT he looked in that one #i don't know if this is any good and it's long i know but i hope it's not as boring as i think it is

[22degreehalo]

I’m have thoughts. About Supernatural. And queerbaiting. In 2022.

But. Consider this:

* People who get really really into fandom and ships are inordinately likely to be queer. But also are inordinately likely to be autistic.

* Supernatural has a specific reason to be appealing to autistic fans due to Castiel being heavily autistic coded, an interpretation which was explicitly supported by Misha Collins.

* But also Supernatural, being a long-running serialised speculative fiction show with heavy latent continuity, is also just inherently very appealing to fandomy autistics.

* Supernatural heavily heavily blends lines between fandom and canon in ways that heavily encourage those fandomy behaviours - that’s one of the reasons it got so popular among that crowd!

* But also like. Supernatural would REALLY encourage those behaviours. Like, they literally had a twitter account for the set design crew!! Who’d tweet stuff like ‘can anyone tell us what previous episode this wallpaper came from?’ to enforce to the fandom that they were paying attention to this stuff and that it could be important!!

* The backlash against Supernatural largely became ‘stupid delusional fangirls convinced they’re seeing something that was never there (when good represetation is right over here)’.

* Said backlash coincided chronologically with the mainstreaming of fandom and the rise in more neurotypical-normative fandom.

* All of this allowed Supernatural to wash its hand of any part in any of this because lol, people were literally saying Destiel would be canon because of the colour of the lights on the wall!! That is obviously Insane obsessive shut-in behaviour!!

Put all together: in queerbaiting their queer audience by putting in hints that they never intended to follow up on, were they also exploiting a largely autistic audience?

As someone who never intended to buy into Supernatural... I have literally never encountered any place as absolutely batshit for autistic brains as it. People would literally write tens of thousands of words speculating on the implications of a one-off line of dialogue about an in-universe AU and what it means for the person who wrote that in-universe AU!! And I ate it all up!! I gorged myself on that shit!!! It was some kind of actual drug for pattern-seeking autistics and I felt half manic the entire time!!!

And when I think on it. I doubt the Supernatural creators, like, actually fully understood what they were doing, there. But they were obviously aware they had a legion of ‘obsessive fangirls’ who’d read that kinda stuff into it.

And did they... take advantage of that? Feeding those hints in, and encouraging fans to care about them in language they’d understand? Knowing fully well that to non-fans - or even to other kinds of fans - who can’t imagine the mentality, that this would all seem totally bonkers?

(And like, fyi: Castiel being autistic never got any kind of like official word, either. Stretching the term in ways I don’t necessarily agree with, that could be considered ‘neurodivergentbaiting’, too. But I’ve noticed fandom extremely eager to denounce any meaning in autistic representation unless representation more personal to them is also met - see someone on reddit yesterday who was really angry about Newt Scamander being autistic because he’s just ‘the classic super smart straight white guy’ as though characters like that are in any remote way common, anyway. Or Overwatch fans totally overlooking Symmetra, an Autistic dark-skinned Indian woman, because nothing means anything until the game introduces a [neurotypical?] black woman.)

Either way I think this pretty much sums up why the backlash to Supernatural fans pisses me off so much. It wasn’t ~fans being crazy~. I mean, the fans were right, in the end - Castiel was in love with Dean all along. But because the relationship was foreseen and enjoyed through largely autistic perspectives, it was seen as invalid. Meanwhile, queer representation that offers little for autistics - that is very mundane and straightforward, with Normal-acting ‘realistic’ characters, which match their idea of what ‘ordinary queer people’ act like, are heralded as the only correct form of representation.

In saying all this, perhaps discussions of queer rep in fandom have leaned too heavily autistic-normative in the past - it’s true that neurotypical fans are much less likely to look up information about the characters and so hear author’s words about their sexualities, for example. But I don’t think this total shift the other way is good, either.

#oh god now I'm having thoughts like 'was queer rep supported more in non-human creatures such as aliens in the past' #'because autistic fans are more likely to find non-human characters relatable in general anyway' #cant believe that me just trying to imagine some way to explain to the new person at my friends' board game nights #who is openly queer and to whom I joked recently I wish we were still in the timeline where Putin resigned cause Destiel went canon :/ #only for them to start absolutely HOOTING in a way that made me suddenly self-conscious about liking supernatural #that I did and in many ways still do in fact supernatural #lead to me having some kinda epiphany abt the shift in preceptions of queerbaiting by fandom audiences happening bc of fandom audiences #becoming much more neurotypical normative than they had previously been #OH MY GOD I JUST REMEMBERED #yknow the whole anti thing of like 'these sex-obsessed fetishising fujoshis who see yaoi everywhere' #one time someone brought that up on twitter and I wrote a common sorta off the top of my head #suggesting that those are neurotypical fans who don't understand special interests/hyperfixations etc. #and that they're unusually likely to see m/m as a target because queer women in fandom are inordinately likely to be NT #because they have other reasons to come to fandom (i.e. lack of community IRL and needing to make their own queer rep) #so you get all these queer nt women interacting with each other and looking over at the autistics over there #and that's what they conclude #anyway uh hmm. lots of. thoughts today huh.

[jvwhyte]

SJM's pinterest board. ACOTAR 6/7.

(No conclusion just suspicious stuff lmao)

Here's a photo i found on SJM's ACOTAR pinterest board:

THE MOIRAI (Moirae) were the three goddesses of fate who personified the inescapable destiny of man (and women). The role of the Moirai was to ensure that every being, mortal and divine, lived out their destiny as it was assigned to them by the laws of the universe.

In nearly all mythologies the three Fates, rulers of the past, present and future, are represented and many believe they symbolize the Triple Goddess, Virgin, Mother and Crone (Creator, Preserver and Destroyer).

In Greek mythology, the Moirai—often known in English as the Fates—were the white-robed incarnations of destiny.

“There were at least three dozen priestesses who worked and researched and healed here, though it was nearly impossible to count them when they all wore the same pale robes and so many kept the hoods over their faces.”

Clotho (/ˈkloʊθoʊ/, Greek Κλωθώ, [klɔːtʰɔ̌ː], "spinner") spun the thread of life from her distaff onto her spindle.

(Clotho: the mute priestess at the library)

Lachesis (/ˈlækɪsɪs/, Greek Λάχεσις, [lákʰesis], "allotter" or drawer of lots) measured the thread of life allotted to each person with her measuring rod.

Atropos (/ˈætrəpɒs/, Greek Ἄτροπος, [átropos], "inexorable" or "inevitable", literally "unturning",[13] sometimes called Aisa) was the cutter of the thread of life. She chose the manner of each person's death; and when their time was come, she cut their life-thread with "her abhorred shears". The figure who came to be known as Atropos had her origins in the pre-Greek Mycenaean religion as a daemon or spirit called Aisa. Another important Mycenaean philosophy stressed the subjugation of all events or actions to destiny and the acceptance of the inevitability of the natural order of things; today this is known as fatalism.

The Morrígan or Mórrígan, also known as Morrígu, is a figure from Irish mythology. The name is Mór-Ríoghain in Modern Irish, and it has been translated as "great queen" or "phantom queen".

The Morrígan is mainly associated with war and fate, especially with foretelling doom, death or victory in battle. In this role she often appears as a crow, the badb.[1] She incites warriors to battle and can help bring about victory over their enemies. The Morrígan encourages warriors to do brave deeds, strikes fear into their enemies, and is portrayed washing the bloodstained clothes of those fated to die.[2][3] She is most frequently seen as a goddess of battle and war and has also been seen as a manifestation of the earth- and sovereignty-goddess,[4][5] chiefly representing the goddess's role as guardian of the territory and its people.[6][7]

Mor may derive from an Indo-European root connoting terror, monstrousness cognate with the Old English maere (which survives in the modern English word "nightmare") and the Scandinavian mara and the Old East Slavic "mara" ("nightmare");[14] while rígan translates as "queen".[15][16] This etymological sequence can be reconstructed in the Proto-Celtic language as *Moro-rīganī-s.[17][18] Accordingly, Morrígan is often translated as "Phantom Queen".[16] This is the derivation generally favoured in current scholarship.[19]

The Morrígan is often considered a triple goddess, but this triple nature is ambiguous and inconsistent. The triple appearances are partially due to the Celtic significance of threeness.

(Three is a VERY common number in acotar (might make a whole other post on that))

Could Mor be one of the fates or even something more powerful than them, could she have a bigger part than we thought in the next story with Koschei ?

In the Republic of Plato, the three Moirai sing in unison with the music of the Seirenes. The term "siren song" refers to an appeal that is hard to resist but that, if heeded, will lead to a bad conclusion.

In Greek mythology, the Sirens (Ancient Greek: plural: Seirênes) were dangerous creatures, who lured nearby sailors with their enchanting music and singing voices to shipwreck on the rocky coast of their island. It is also said that they can even charm the winds.

i bet your thinking where tf is this looney going with this....well,

i also found this photo:

Celtic Mythology The GWRAGEDD ANNWN [wives of the underworld]were lake-sirens in Wales. These lovely creatures are known to choose mortal men as their husbands. One legend has it that they live in a sunken city in one of the many lakes in Wales. People claim to have seen towers under water and heard the chiming of bells. In earlier times, there used to be a door in a rock and those who dared enter through it came into a beautiful garden situated on an island in the middle of a lake. In this garden there were luscious fruits, beautiful flowers and the loveliest music, besides many other wonders. Those brave enough to enter were welcomed by the Gwragedd Annwn and were invited to stay as long as they wanted, on the condition that they never took anything back from the garden. One visitor ignored the rule and took a flower home with him. As soon as he left the island, the flower disappeared and he fell unconscious to the ground. From that day on, the door has been firmly closed and none has ever passed through it again.

“My grandmother was a river-nymph who seduced a High Fae male from the Autumn Court.”

Gwyn believes her grandmother to be a river-nymph. Is it possible that she was not but instead a lake siren? We know that Gwyn and Catrin's names are welsh (Lake-Sirens are found in wales) and the spring court has many ties to welsh mythology so is it really that far fetched?

In Celtic and Norse mythology, selkies (also spelled silkies, sylkies, selchies) or selkie folk (Scots: selkie fowk) meaning "seal folk"[a] are mythological beings capable of therianthropy, changing from seal to human form by shedding their skin. They are found in folktales and mythology originating from the Northern Isles of Scotland.

To further back up this, here is another photo of a Selkie woman on SJM's pinterest.

In David Thomson's book The People of the Sea, which chronicles the extensive legends surrounding the Grey Seal within the folklore of rural Scottish and Irish communities, it is the children of male selkies and human women that have webbed toes and fingers. When the webbing is cut, a rough and rigid growth takes its place.

Children born between man and seal-folk may have webbed hands, as in the case of the Shetland mermaid whose children had "a sort of web between their fingers",[25] or "Ursilla" rumoured to have children sired by a male selkie, such that the children had to have the webbing between their fingers and toes made of horny material clipped away intermittently.

“My twin had the webbed fingers of the nymphs—I don’t.”

Once again we see that Catrin posses traits of these water-creatures.

Keep in mind SJM has this on her board - The cover of Celtic folktales which has one story in particular of a 'sea-maiden' whom makes a deal with a mortal man.

I proceeded to continue searching through the board and found this:

Sathariel (Hebrew סתריאל, Greek: Σαθιήλ) is one of the Qliphoth, corresponding to the Sephirah Binah on the kabbalistic Tree of life. It represents the Concealment of God, which hides the face of Mercy. The form of the demons attached to this Qliphah are of black veiled heads with horns, with hideous eyes seen through the veil, followed by evil centaurs.

'veiled heads with horns'

The Qliphoth are the shadow of the Sephirot, the chaotic force that exists when the Sephirah is unbalanced. Binah is the Sephirah that gives birth to form, the great mother of the cosmos, the eternal womb. Through her, the spiritual energy of Keter and Chokmah are woven into the matrix that eventually becomes matter.

In Jewish Kabbalistic cosmology of Isaac Luria, the qlippot are metaphorical "shells" surrounding holiness. They are spiritual obstacles receiving their existence from God only in an external, rather than internal manner.

Quiphoth (shadow of sephriot) = Shadowsinger

"shells" surrounding holiness = The shadows protected Azriel

They emerge in the descending seder hishtalshelus (Chain of Being) through Tzimtzum (contraction of the Divine Ohr), as part of the purpose of Creation.

Sathariel had black feathers on his wings and his body was shrouded in darkness.

Honestly idk where tf im going with this 😩😩

I've put in far too much effort to delete it so i apologise if you've gotten all this way to be disappointed but

Conclusion:

Mor =/≠ Three fates

Gwyn = Heritage is sus? could be related to some interesting people

Azriel = Sathariel ?

If anyone has ideas to add pleaseeee tell me lol

i'll probably update this when i can be bothered

(FYI i love Gwyn and i'm not saying she's a siren or luring anyone but you've got to admit her grandmother is a sus lmao, especially with half the shit on SJM's pinterest.)

#i have not slept #this makes zero sense #acotar #azriel #azriel x gwyn #gwynriel #gwyneth berdara #azriel berdara #morrigan #acotar theory #acotar 6 #acowaf #acomaf #acofas #acosf #a court of frost and starlight #a court of mist and fury #a court of silver flames #a court of wings and ruin #a court of thorns and roses

[outrunningthedark]

Ok I know I’m kinda late to this but I kinda wanna talk about the Ana and Taylor and misogyny thing cause I also kinda find it weird. Like yes there are people who hate female characters because they are female and that’s an issue but also most people who (at least as far as I see) dislike them have good reasons for it. Like Ana and being ableist and while I have an issue for hating the character because of the actor that’s not really the case with her again her character was ableist and the actress is playing a Latinx character while not being Latinx. Yet it seems like you’re not allowed to dislike them and I don’t know but something about that makes me feel weird. Also like the fact some people are comparing Ryan and Oliver playing bi/gay/queer character (if Buddie happens) to Gabriella playing a Latinx character while being black and Irish also feels wrong like it’s kinda a false equivalence (now I am gay but I am also white so I can’t completely speak on this) like they didn’t know buddie would be a thing when they casted the actors they knew they wanted Ana to be Latinx.

The only reason people are dismissing the complaints we have about the female characters tied to Buck and Eddie is because they're tied to Buck and Eddie. These "holier than thou" fans see the criticism and automatically assume their faves are hated because they "get in the way of a ship". I hope Buddie is going canon. I believe they will be down the road. However, I have no influence on what Tim decides. If he's THAT against the possibility of romantic Buddie (I don't believe so, but there are plenty of doubters) he's going to find ways for it not to happen. This is no different than fans calling for Ryan to be fired all season for making racist comments and yet their outrage had zero impact on Tim's decision-making. HE DOESN'T CARE WHAT WE WANT. The only reason Buddie will end up in a relationship (if they do) is because Tim knows he has the chance to be hailed a genius by people who aren't paid to work for him. It's completely self-serving. Fandom as a whole fucked up when they took the word feminism and decided it meant women can never do wrong no matter the circumstances. With our fandom, it means Ryan deserves to never work again after his ignorance was exposed, but Gabrielle Walsh is allowed to repeatedly pretend to be Latina (while never addressing it!) because "she's still a WOC in Hollywood". The problem is that the people excusing Gabrielle's behavior are disrespecting actual Latinas who are not comfortable with what she's doing. Propping up one woman because she's nice to look at and a "celebrity" while ignoring those who have something to say about it is the opposite of "supporting all women", fyi. As for Ryan and Oliver portraying LGBTQ+ characters while being straight: Your point is 100% valid. The casting directors were clearly not looking for gay or bi men to play these roles when they were first introduced to the show. Personally, I've never subscribed to the "hire LGBTQ+ actors to play LGBTQ+ characters!!!" outrage. Yes, in a perfect world, out and proud actors would be able to portray the characters that match their identity, but let's not kid ourselves here - celebrities are no different than us regular folks. Not everyone wants to be out. Not everyone feels comfortable coming out. Some stay closeted because they believe it'll help them get bigger and better roles. Some stay closeted because they don't want to be known as "that [insert sexuality] actor" and have the media constantly asking questions about their personal life. Some stay closeted because they know their family and friends are too homophobic/biphobic/transphobic to handle the truth. Comparing Ryan and Oliver possibly taking on the roles of two bisexual (?) men (I don't get involved in the sexuality discourse because I do not identify as a man nor am I bisexual so it's not my place to talk) because Tim decides to alter their characters' identities years after the fact versus Gabrielle auditioning for a role she knew she didn't deserve simply because she considers herself "an honorary Mexican" is nothing more than an excuse to throw around the word "misogyny" - people think using it makes them sound smarter than they actually are.

#anonymous #911 discourse #tv: 911 #tv: 9-1-1 #buddie #anti ana flores #oliver stark #ryan guzman

[sixteenthshen]

Episode 1 Notes/Meta

Contains minor spoilers up to Youtube's schedule and references to the novel

Since I don’t have any new episodes to watch until Friday, I decided to watch the drama all over again, very closely, to see if there’s anything new to discover.

Zhou Zishu's character: 

Drama immediately sets the backdrop/tells us why his character is kinder, more compassionate than in the novel. We don't know that drama!ZZS is kinder yet at this time, but we can see that he's schemey and sneaky

He wears a mask of indifference as the Window of Heaven's leader (sorry ZZH, I was wrong. I thought your acting was stiff during one scene, but now I know better). It's one of the many subtle faces of ZZS.

Wen Kexing's character:

He must be a highly-skilled martial artist based on how easily he kills two ghosts and that he can spot another skilled martial artist from a distance (beggar Zhou)

He's quite schemey. First, when he orders all his subordinates out to hunt for a man he just killed. Next, when he lets Gu Xiang go to check on the beggar, he's also subtly using her to test that unknown person's martial arts skills.

Why they're soulmates:

WKX understood immediately what "beggar" Zhou was doing (suntanning)

They're both well-matched schemey bastards

Behind the cut, geographical details and some details about the supporting characters. This is a very text-heavy post FYI

In chronological order:

20 years ago, Rong Xuan was killed by the Five Lakes Alliance and the gathered heroes.

Prince Jin is based far away in the North (Hedong 河东), where he holds power. It implies most of the story later takes place closer to the south of China.

Prince Jin ordered the Window of Heaven (TC in short, for Tian Chuang) to assassinate the Military Governor of Zhenwu (Officer Li). The Zhenwu Army is located somewhere around Inner Mongolia today.

Prince Jin falsely claims the Military Governor is a traitor to the country and has him assassinated. Prince Jin harbours treasonous thoughts, and in turn, makes ZZS and TC traitors.

Officer Li recognized Zhou Zishu by sight (calls him Officer Zhou), which means that they must have met previously somehow. He is shocked to know that ZZS is the leader of TC, so TC must be a secret assassin/spy organization (like an ancient CIA)

Zhou Zishu gets a drop of blood on his sword and flicks it off – he does not like blood.

Princess Jing An knows ZZS and first calls him Zhou shixiong (her first instinct is to use a familiar address). She later changes it to Officer Zhou when she realizes what he did.

Princess Jing An quotes, "The flowers blossom in all four seasons, knowing everything in the world", which makes ZZS turn to look at her - he sees the hairpin that his shidi Qin Jiuxiao made for the one he loves. ZZS gets super sad.

This line of poetry refers to the Four Seasons Manor (ZZS's martial arts sect)

ZZS, during his time as a court official, intentionally has a blank mask, so his emo is seen only in his slightly teary eyes.  Removing this mask is also part of the freedom he seeks. Possibly symbolic that he feels freer living behind a physical mask than he does with his face.

Prince Jin ordered ZZS to personally nail the seven nails into Bi Chang Feng (Uncle Bi). It seems somewhat cruel of the Prince. ZZS walks with 2 of his commanders – Duan Pengju and Han Ying.

Uncle Bi calls ZZS Manor Lord (庄主)*. He says he cannot help but suspect the motives of Prince Jin. ZZS shows a slight reaction to this. He knows the motivations of Prince Jin by now. Not only is he a traitor himself, but he dragged all his 81 men down with him.

This is the root cause of ZZS's different personality traits in the drama and novel. I think his character in both the book and drama adaption is similar, but his additional compassion stems from being placed in different circumstances.

Novel!ZZS did terrible things for the right reasons. As a result, he won't feel as guilty and has less reason to be so compassionate.

Drama!ZZS followed the wrong master, and the awful things he did were for treasonous reasons. There's no justification for the lives he took. Because he did worse things, he's better able to "see the light" and understand things in life better. Therefore, kinder.

The motto of the Window of Heaven (as requested by Prince Jin):

The members are to carry out their missions without leaving a trace (shadow without traces)

Once a person enters TC, they're never to leave (entry without exit.)

To know everything and to be everywhere.

When the camera cuts to ZZS's two senior officers, Han Ying shuts his eyes sadly while Duan Pengju has a slight smile on his face 🤨🤨.

Nails of Seven Torments (七窍三秋钉) – seven nails, each to be driven into the seven primary acupoints (for martial arts) in a person's body. After that, a person won't get to see more than three autumns. They would lose their martial arts ability entirely, and their five senses deteriorate over time, preventing the secrets of TC from being leaked. (see #2 of their motto)

ZZS does not like anyone who's not from his sect to call him Manor Lord, as it's a reminder of his failings. He doesn't think he has the right to be called that any longer since he ruined his sect.

Prince Jin calls ZZS by his name directly (Zishu); it implies a certain level of familiarity. However, ZZS hasn't been presented himself in front of Prince Jin in some time, suggesting he has already distanced himself from Prince Jin (and a certain level of disrespect)

From Duan Pengju, we learn that ZZS hadn't taken up his sword much in the past year due to a lingering injury; this time at the Military Governor's residence was the first time he wielded his sword in a while.

DPJ also uses this word again (又) in Chinese to describe ZZS aggravating his injuries again (that isn't in the YT subs), which implies that he has suffered other internal injuries before, not solely from QJX's death. DPJ is subtly suggesting to Prince Jin that ZZS is no longer very fit and not suitable for his role (shows us his ambition).

ZZS's current injury (that Uncle Bi refers to and why he coughed up blood in the snow) came about after Qin Jiuxiao's (shidi) death. He coughed up blood then and fainted.**

ZZS's residence is called Chongming Garden (重明苑), where he has a mural of 82 white flowers and the line of poetry about the Four Seasons Manor. He paints each flower red when one of his original sect members pass away. There's only one white flower left --- himself.  See this link for a more detailed translation.

ZZS scolds a vision of his shidi not to cry. ZZS's assertion that men shouldn't cry comes up several times later. His eyes only get teary after this scene, and not a single tear falls again (still canon for now).

ZZS has an official court position. He's an Imperial Guard with some seniority, and it's likely why the Military Governor calls him Officer Li. (A governor would not call a low ranked Imperial Guard “Officer” 大人 daren)

ZZS has several battle wounds from a blade, but the ones on his back (shoulder blades) look messy. Not sure what they are yet, but I think it could become relevant later.

Prince Jin appears unstable when he talks about everyone leaving him. Yunxing and Beiyuan are both characters from Lord Seventh. Beiyuan is the titular character of that novel. When Prince Jin said, "Beiyuan is gone too", ZZS displays a minute reaction because he knows Beiyuan isn't actually dead.

Prince Jin says ZZS is ruthless, but he's even more so to himself (recurring description).

Here, we see that ZZS knows of DPJ's ambition to take over his job when he says they both get their wishes today. DPJ becomes the new TC leader.

Prince Jin lets ZZS go. As he watches ZZS leave, he recites two lines from a poem, which title roughly translates to "on one's deathbed/imminent death".***

“涓涓江汉流，天窗通冥室。谗邪害公正，浮云翳白日。” Small streams can become large rivers; even a window as small as a skylight can brighten a dark room. Rumours and evil can harm the public good; clouds can block the bright light of the sun.

There's some foreshadowing here. Prince Jin sees ZZS leaving as a threat. It could be that one person leaving TC "standing" may lead to an exodus or that ZZS knows too much to be left alive outside for long. Prince Jin sees himself as the righteous and the sun here. He follows the recital by saying he's only letting ZZS go for now.

ZZS's beggar styling is supposed to juxtapose his strict and neat dress as the leader of TC, including his hair and overall CBAssed-ness of how his clothes hang.

Hanged ghost died super quick. We see an arm covered in a red sleeve strangle him to death. Red sleeve dude seems to be the head of the Ghost Valley (yaaaaa we know who you are)

WKX lies to the masses about the Hanged Ghost and tells them to set forth out of the Ghost Valley. We can see that all of them are scared of him. He has a scheme -- but we don’t know what it is yet.

WKX and ZZS meet (yay!!!) in Yue (modern-day Zhejiang, in the south), far away from Prince Jin. We should note that this is very far away from the North, where Prince Jin and TC hold power.

ZZS would rather be a beggar than the Emperor. The freedom to live and do whatever he chooses is more important to him than riches or power.

WKX understood what ZZS was doing right away (while GX thinks he's a beggar). This is why they're soulmates!

Gu Xiang's cuteness comes off as a little forced here, but upon re-watching, I believe it's because she hasn't been out in the "human world" before. Her mannerisms are all learned from her life in the Ghost Valley. She's also about ten years younger than WKX, so she's supposed to be more energetic.

WKX allows GX to go down partly because he is curious about the beggar, who seems to be very skilled at martial arts. GX is quite a straightforward and innocent person. She's unaware that she's helping to test the beggar's skills for her master.

WKX notices the ZZS's martial arts and stands up right away. This scene is also more important than it seems to be at first. Later in episode 2, it's revealed that he recognized the beggar's particular martial arts as unique to the Four Seasons Manor sect. I think it's the first hint that beggar Zhou may be "Zhou Zishu". (We find out that WKX knows ZZS's real name in episode 6.)

ZZS intentionally hits himself to make himself seem like a poor injured beggar and GX a bully. It shows that ZZS is sneaky – and again, ruthless, even to himself.

* ZZS is not a real lord. He's the sect leader (Manor Lord comes about because his sect's name ends in Manor, and the address "my lord" comes from Manor Lord). ** This is a fictional type of injury, where people in Chinese historical dramas cough up blood when they suffer severe emotional shocks that cause some unexplained internal injury. *** 《临终诗》

#word of honor #word of honor meta #wen kexing #zhou zishu #not lying about text heavy #1800 words wtf

[sunnypogue]

hockey rafe gets jealous & fights (blurb)

alright babes - there were quite a few requests for coho!rafe to get into a fight during a game. 

fyi, it is v not allowed in college hockey, and results in a suspension. obviously rafe has already been in a couple fights this season, so getting in another one would be #bad. 

also, pls disregard the rude things asshole mark says about the south - we do not like him.

(warnings: cursing, fighting, etc.)

 you were the nicest girlfriend in the world. ever. in history.

you were sitting in a booth at your favorite mexican place, head resting in your palm as you sucked down your third margarita, straw never leaving your mouth.

meanwhile, your boyfriend, rafe was chatting away, oblivious to your boredom.

across from y’all were two visiting hockey players from ferris state - one was rafe’s good friend from bantam named wyatt, the other was wyatt’s teammate, mark.

it was a tradition for rafe & wyatt to grab dinner the night before their teams played, the hosting friend taking them to their favorite local hang. typically, this wasn’t a night you’d join in on, but rafe had been excited to introduce you to his childhood friend - you couldn’t say no.

you imagine it would have been fine if mark hadn’t tagged along.

mark was a lot from the jump. he was a transfer from a small minnesota college, and had never been south of the mason-dixon line. he had a loud personality and an even louder mouth, making small digs at anything related to the south - huntsville, the weather, the outfits, the men - you, being from the south, were over it. shockingly, your (normally) combative boyfriend hadn’t said anything about it, apparently too engrossed in his reunion with wyatt.

“hey babe,” you were jolted from your thoughts, as rafe nudged you with his shoulder. “wyatt and I are grabbing another drink - you want one?”

you looked down at your empty margarita glass, before looking back up towards him, nodding. “no salt this time, please.”

he smiled as he leaned down to kiss you, quick and chaste, before turning towards the crowded bar.

“what is that, your fourth one?” you heard mark scoff as soon as rafe was out of earshot.

you turned, crossing your arms as you faced the older boy. “is that a problem?”

he shrugged, sipping his beer. “just an observation.”

you rolled your eyes, leaning back into the booth. “you know, you don’t have to be here. you could go back to the hotel or wherever the hell you’re staying.”

he laughed, short and sharp. “and miss out on all this culture? I would hate to not get the full huntsville experience.”

you turned your head towards the bar, not wanting to engage with him. out of your peripherals, you watched him knock back the remainder of his beer (his fifth one, you bitterly noted) before he spoke,

“you know, I don’t think I’ve actually gotten the full huntsville experience.”

you angled your body towards him slightly, not responding, but intrigued in what he had to say next.

he leaned in, a smirk on his face, “I figure I might as well fuck a southern belle while I’m down here. seems like it’s all you people have to offer.”

you stared at him, mouth agape. “you’re a fucking pig, you know that?”

he laughed, sliding over to sit right across from you. “you’re a fuckin’ pig,” he repeated, mocking your drawl. “shit, honey, maybe you’ll do. you’ve kinda got that sloppy drunk southern thing going on - I can work with that.”

you were on your feet in a second, head reeling. “what the FUCK did you just say?”

he smirked, shrugging his shoulders, before you barreled on, yelling, “I can’t believe you’d fucking say that to a stranger, you little bastard! what the fuck do you think you’re doing, fucking hitting on me with my boyfriend literally 30 feet away,” your face was bright red, part embarrassed, part pissed, hands clutching your purse. “you’re a fucking pervert, fetishizing women like that!”

“what the hell is going on?”

you turned to see rafe and wyatt, both holding drinks, taking in the scene. mark was unfazed in his chair, an amused smile on his face. you were breathless, cheeks red, knuckles white.

“nothin’ man, thanks for the drink.” mark leaned forward to grab his beer from wyatt.

rafe moved towards you. “it doesn’t really look like nothing. my girlfriend usually doesn’t call strangers fucking perverts unless they deserve it.”

mark shrugged, “I don’t know man, she’s a little drunk - just started yelling. can’t understand much though, with that accent.”

you scoffed, anger flaring up again, “yeah right, you fucking insulted me and hit on me all the same breath. don’t turn this shit around on me.”

“whatever bitch, you’re drunk.” mark rolled his eyes, sipping on his beer.

rafe snapped, lunging forward -you and wyatt moved simultaneously, you grabbing at rafe’s arm, wyatt blocking him from getting any closer to mark.

“shut the fuck up, you little bitch.” rafe seethed, pointing his finger down at a smirking mark. “I’ll wipe that fucking smirk off your face - don’t fucking talk to her like that.”

you tugged on his arm, hard - he was trying to pry it free to swing over wyatt at mark. “babe, just forget it. let’s go.”

“no! this little fucking bitch thinks he can say shit like that, and then has the fucking balls to sit there and lie about it to my face? I’ll kill him!” rafe was still pushing against wyatt, who was fruitlessly trying to talk him down, while a small crowd started to form.

“rafe!” you snapped, leaning forward to grab his shoulder. “look at me!”

he glanced back, eyes wild. “let me go.”

“no. you can’t do this, not right now. you won’t be able to play tomorrow night - let’s just go.” you spoke, firm and even, feet planted as you tugged on his arm again.

rafe huffed, stepping back from wyatt with his hands up. “fuck you. I’ll see you on the ice, you fucking pussy.”

mark grinned, all teeth, as he stood up noisily from his chair. “bye y’all!” he hollered in a put-on accent, wiggling his fingers in a taunt.

you practically had to drag rafe out of there, lugging him to car.

“I’ll fucking go in there and kill him. I’ll do it.” rafe was seething, looking back towards the restaurant.

you grabbed his face, palms on both cheeks, forcing him to look you in the eye. “baby, you gotta breathe. he’s not fucking worth shit - not worth fighting, not worth being mad about, and certainly not worth getting scratched.”

rafe took a few ragged breaths, his hand clutching your wrist as he tried to calm down. you murmured words of encouragement, as he slowly started to relax.

when his breathing was even, you handed him his keys from your purse, squeezing his hand twice, before watching him slide into the drivers seat.

he was silent most of the ride home, hand tense on your upper thigh. you moved your hand to rest behind his neck, softly playing with the hair at his nape.

he broke the silence at a stop light, turning to look towards you as he mumbled, “you okay?”

you nodded. “yeah, he’s a grade-a prick, but nothing to write home about. just caught me off guard.”

rafe grunted, looking back at the road as the light turned green. “I could kill him for talking to you like that. who the fuck does that shit?”

you shrugged, fingers interlaced with his hair, grown out for the season. “he’s just trying to get in your head - classic instigator.”

“I’ll fucking kill him tomorrow. I will.” rafe growled under his breath, turning into his driveway.

“rafe,” you started, giving him a look as he parked the car. “you can NOT fight him - you’ll get ejected and be out for the next three games - coach is already mad about the last two fights.”

rafe rolled his eyes, tugging his hat down. “I don’t fucking care.”

you scrambled out of the car, chasing him to the door, grabbing the house key out of his hand before pushing him against the wall, your forearm solid against his chest. “look at me - you are NOT fighting some prick tomorrow because he drunkenly said some stupid shit. you’re not going to ruin your season and your relationship with your coach because of me. you got it?”

rafe’s look of shock quickly morphed into a grin, as he registered the fact that you had pinned him to the wall, growling like a feral kitten. “shit, baby, maybe I should have just let you fight him.”

you leaned off of him, preening a bit at the compliment as you unlocked the door with the key you jacked from him, “damn straight baby, I can handle myself.”

you yelped as he spanked you, hard.

the next day, you were perched in the stands with your friends, entire body tense as you watched the puck drop. rafe had promised he wouldn’t fight, but you had a feeling that promise wouldn’t keep if mark decided to mouth off about last night.

thankfully, they weren’t on the ice together, as rafe’s d-pair was rolled out against the top line (you couldn’t help but giggle at mark grinding it out on the fourth line). after two periods, you allowed yourself to relax a bit, sipping the lukewarm beer you had been clutching since the first intermission.

of course, that’s when rafe got stuck on a long shift, not able to change before his d-partner iced the puck, allowing the other team to change lines.

you audibly groaned as mark’s line hopped onto the ice, putting your beer down so you could cover your face.

through your fingers, you watched as mark barked something in rafe’s direction from outside of the face-off circle.

“oh fuck me.” you whispered, biting your lip.

“what’s up?” your friend asked, leaning down to check on you.

you couldn’t even respond, because as soon as the puck dropped, rafe was skating up the ice as if he was shot out of a cannon, boarding the ever living fuck out of mark.

“oh.” your friend mumbled, leaning back as y’all took in the chaos on the ice, watching as it devolved into an entire line brawl, refs getting knocked around in the action.

you waited for rafe after the game in your normal spot, down the hall from the dressing room, looking unimpressed as he emerged with wet hair and a shiner.

“you promised me you weren’t going to fight.” you pouted, leaning up to wrap your arms around his neck.

he shrugged, pushing his hair back, “I promised you I wasn’t going to ruin my season - and I didn’t. refs called me for 2 minute interference, that’s it.” he grinned.

you frowned, “yeah, well don’t get any ideas. you got lucky - you would have been out for the next month otherwise.”

rafe rolled his eyes, kissing you quick, before wrapping his arm around your shoulder as y’all headed out, “yeah, well, even so, it would have been worth it. little prick deserved it.”

you laughed, bumping your hip into rafe’s as y’all exited the arena, “my hero.”

#hockey rafe #rafe cameron #rafe cameron fic #rafe cameron imagine #drew starkey #rafe cameron x reader #outer banks #obx #obx fic #outer banks imagine #outer banks fic #she writes