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hanadoesstuffwrong · 3 years

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[Ooooooo fancy header!!]

Hello!!

It's the ADHD, trauma moron again!!!

So, since this post garnered interest, sibling suggested I do another one about alternate romantic subplots, since they are seemingly the only hook of the show in the first place!

If ur interested but haven't read the original post (not sure why u would be interested in that case, but anyway,) click the link and read that post first since this won't make any sense otherwise.

If u want a list of the problems I had with the canon romantic plot then go to this post from my side-blog. Most of the complaints are about Miraculous, (some are about Avatar:tla as well). I’m about to do a lot more complaining, but that post lays out exactly what I don’t like seeing in TV pining stories.

Again, it's under a cut, 'cos I am seemingly incapable of writing short posts. Also, the usual warning, I am bitter and tired and get stuff wrong, this will not be kind to the canon show. Super-fans, you have been warned:

ooo, ur carrying on? Okey dokey, let’s do this! Starting with, of course,

The

McFrEAKING

Love Square

-(prepare for a quick ramble-rant)-

“As teenagers, she’s in love with him but he’s oblivious. As superheroes, he’s in love with her but she’s just annoyed!”

That was the synopsis on Netflix that made me watch this show in the first place, and kept me hooked for two and a quarter seasons. It’s definitely what makes the show stand out from other superhero shows.

The creators knew this. And proceeded to misuse this information completely. .Let me make something clear:

A love story... Is still a story.

It needs development, plot and a clear direction. Opposing forces to the love story need to be there to further the narrative, like a good antagonist, not create meaningless drama for the sake of “[evil exec voice] oh-ho-hoo, maybe they will not be endgame, maybe, maybe not, you do not know, and you will keep watching this dumpster-fire until you do, no matter how crap the writing gets!!”

-Just to clarify, evil exec voice sounds like Dr Doofenshmirtz-

Marinette/LB and Adrien/CN do not have a love story. They have a love... blah. A love blah. They love eachother because they do. From the origins episode, their relationship doesn’t change at all. Thus, not a story.

I’ve gone into this about kat@@ng from a:tla before, but I’ll sum up here:

Love (in my book at least)= Consistent support, respect, admiration, honesty, loyalty, joy & care. [When these are mutual, it becomes a loving relationship].

You could argue that these things are present in the love square, however, I would then point to a very important premodifier: Consistent. Yes, Mari/LB and Adri/CN support/respect/admire/etc. each other sometimes. But you’ll get a good ol’ scene like that and then in the very next episode she’ll be hitting him on the head or stealing his stuff or breaking into his home. This being, of course, due to the show’s obsession with maintaining the status quo and never going anywhere (see Chloe’s entire character arc).

And then, throwing Kagami and Luka into the mix just drives the characters apart! News Flash! Third party threats to a relationship only work if there is a relationship to threaten! The only thing these two are doing is presenting a healthier alternative to pining after someone who apparently doesn’t return their affections!

-(okay, ramble-rant over)-

sO. What does the Chimere-verse do differently?

Firstly, have you ever watched ‘The Office US’? [If you haven’t, do that now, if only for the memes it holds]. It is one show I’ve seen that gets the ‘please-notice-me x oblivious’ pining plot right. I am, of course, talking about Jim and Pam.

The crushes in the love square would be a lot more like Jim’s pining after Pam for the first few seasons. In that they are adorably close best friends and he keeps his feelings close to his chest, loving her but not really admitting it / expecting anything to come from it. That’s how I would present Lina’s feelings for Keri. [None of that icky stalker nonsense (wall photos, schedule in bedroom) from canon. My girl respects him too much.]

Let’s say that the show ends up having six seasons, 26 episodes each; with a three-six month time skip in between each one.

Throughout season one this crush would develop as they become good friends. Unfortunately, this would also be where she puts him on a pedestal. She isn't in love with Keri, she's in love with the perfect, idyllic idea of Keri. Her denial of her crush lasts till the finale, when she admits it to herself.

Season two would see her struggle with the pining aspect, afraid of rejection should she tell him how she feels. It remains more infatuation than real love.

In season three things start changing. Her crush moves on from Keri to Chat Noir and this time the love is all real and all there, bar the aspect of honestly. They've fought side by side and shared each other's battles. She's seen him cry and shout and hurt and make stupid decisions, but she cares about him more than she can even tell. By the end, the love square has switched.

She’s back to pining, but with more complications thrown in, as her feelings start having an impact on their fighting dynamic. End of season 4: Identities are revealed to each other and all the drama and lies put a distance between them.

Season 5, they s l o w l y find their way back to each other and start a real relationship... Right before everything goes to pot and the season ends in chaotic failure. (May make a post about my ideas for that)

In the final season, they are together and their love for each other is explored, tested and ultimately endures to be endgame.

I know. I’m a sap.

Keri’s crush on Coccinelle would follow the same pattern: 1) Starts crushing on her; 2) Pines after her and gets gently rejected at the end; 3) As his crush fades, he becomes closer to Lina and ultimately falls in love with her; 4) Pines after Lina the entire way through and then finds out that Lina is Coccinelle at the end; 5) They slowly work their way back together, start dating and then the crap hits the fan. And finally 6) They be endgame.’

So that’s them out of the way.

The other main relationship would be Audra x Stan, because Alya and Nino gave me hope for the few episodes when their love-lives were explored.

Pretty much, what I had in mind, was that Stan was crushing on Audra from the beginning. She’s weird, funny, cool and cute and he likes her for it. Unlike our ridiculous protagonists, he gets down to it and asks her out. She responds by literally turning into an Audra.exe is not responding meme, and he thinks he’s overstepped. She actually likes him too but her brain overloaded a little. Afterwards, it's a little more awkward between them.

This lasts until she gets the fox miraculous and impulsively tells the first person she bumps into, who, luckily, happens to also be her crush, so while she’s there she also confesses her feelings. After he shows her his own Miraculous, she kisses him and they start an adorable relationship (this would be at the end of season 2 or 3).

It’s only after this that they realise they weren’t supposed to tell anybody.

That leaves Celeste.

She doesn’t have a love interest because my girl really needs to spend 6 seasons working on herself before she can even think about bringing someone else into it.

#for more information on how a teenage relationship can be done right in an animated kids show #see The Dragon Prince's Callum x Rayla #because so far they are the only thing giving me hope #anti ladybug #anti miraculous ladybug #miraculous ladybug #ml salt #miraculous au #miraculous salt #chimere-verse #my posts

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voiceless-terror · 3 years

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Perchance to Dream

@aspecarchivesweek Day Three: Drinks

Characters: Jonathan Sims/Martin Blackwood, Tim Stoker, Sasha James

Jon comes out to Martin. Twice.

(Ft. Kiss-Averse Jonathan Sims and Hamlet References)

__________

“Ugh, no thank you.”

Martin pauses. Sasha and Tim titter behind their hands.

And Jon, well. He’s got a look of vehement disgust written across his features, not unlike when he’s laying into what he claims is a fabricated statement. Martin can feel his face turning red at the words.

Getting Jon to come out for drinks had been the hard part. It’s one month into his tenure as Head Archivist, and everyone’s starting to feel the scope of the task ahead of them. Tim thought a ‘monthiversary’ drink was in order, and the only way to get Jon to come out was to threaten him with some sort of ill begotten information, the likes of which Martin couldn’t hear behind the closed door. Ten minutes later, Jon emerged, looking grumpier than usual (and very dashing) with a scarf around his neck. And now he sat next to him in the cozy pub booth, Martin trying very hard to remain stock-still because Jon’s leaning into his side. Perhaps he’s cold? Either way, Martin isn’t going to discourage it.

But then he’d had a few drinks and they all loosened up; even Jon’s laugh came easier. And Martin- well, Martin’s opening up a bit more than usual, chattering about his time in the library and bolstered by the smiles he receives in turn. Tim changed track to the personal, regaling them with his latest outdoor adventure while Sasha and Jon gave witty, sarcastic commentary. But then Tim directed the conversation towards him, and they seemed relatively interested in his poetry. He even felt comfortable enough to rattle out a few lines from his phone in a desperate hope to impress, and he stupidly chose one that referenced ‘lips like a rosebud’ and Jon reacts like he’s read a particularly saucy bit of a smut novel aloud. How embarrassing.

“Whew,” Tim whistles lowly, folding his arms behind his neck with an exaggerated wince. “Harsh, boss.”

“No, that’s not it,” Jon says, shaking his head and putting a hand on Martin’s arm. Putting a hand on Martin’s arm. Putting a hand- “Martin, your poetry is fine, if a bit derivative.” Jon thinks his poetry is fine and he’s got his small, fine-boned hand on Martin’s arm and god, he’s got a poem about that too, somewhere in his phone-

Tim guffaws, slamming a hand on the table and startling Sasha. “What a compliment!”

“It’s just…kissing. Lips. Ugh.” Jon smashes his fork rather violently into a dumpling, sending bits of food flying across the table, one of which hit Tim directly above his eye. “I eat with my mouth.”

“Wise observation.”

“Very astute of you.”

Martin would join in on the banter but Jon’s hand is still on his arm and his warm weight is pressing into his side. Honestly, what’s Jon playing at? He could rip the poetry to shreds in front of him but as long as that hand remains on his arm he’d just sit there, not saying a word. Hell, he’d probably even agree.

“So the bossman doesn’t like kisses,” Tim says, taking an obnoxiously loud sip of whatever fruity beverage he’d decided on. “Is that why you ripped down all of my mistletoe back in research?”

Jon. Mistletoe. Hand still on arm.

“I don’t like any of it,” Jon says, removing his hand from Martin’s arm to make a decisive gesture across the table which nearly sent his drink flying. He instantly misses the pressure but the warmth is still there, burning through his sleeve. Jon looks incredibly drunk, now that Martin’s got a better angle to view his flushed cheeks and bright eyes and lips- “All that touching. I don’t understand why everyone’s so hung up on it. No thank you, not for me.”

A brief flash of understanding lights Sasha’s eyes but Martin’s not in a place to decipher it. He’s not sure if it’s the drink or the Jon-of-it-all that’s impeding him. He’s never seen him so relaxed, so animated about something that’s not work. He can’t even focus on the words coming out of Jon’s mouth at the moment.

But Sasha leans forward- once she’s got an idea in her head, she won’t let go until she’s seen it through. Martin recognizes that look. “You’re asexual, then?”

“Mm,” Jon mumbles, his head tilting back dangerously as he puts on an affected, exaggerated voice. “Man delights not me, no, nor woman neither.”

And then Martin’s gone, suddenly struck by a vision of teenage Jon, silhouetted on a stage by a dramatic spotlight, reciting Shakespeare like a born thespian- look, Martin despises theater, but even he’s not immune to Hamlet. In a dream world he’d be Ophelia, no, not Ophelia, idiot- maybe he’s a stage hand, or no, he helps Jon with his quick changes, that’s a job, right? So caught up is he in this pseudo-high school fantasy that the words being said don’t actually dawn on him until a full minute later, when Tim’s laughter reaches a crescendo.

“Boss, did you seriously just come out via Shakespeare?”

Jon’s not even denying it, giving a lazy, good-natured smile in response. Fuck. Here he is, having some stupid fantasy over his boss who is very much right next to him and very much not interested. God, is he taking advantage? He jumps to the side, trying desperately to put a few more inches of space between them for Jon’s comfort when that small hand comes back to his arm, the sudden and strong grip stopping him in his tracks.

“No!” Jon’s voice is low, those dark eyes so intense. Martin can feel his face go scarlet from his gaze alone. “This is nice. I like it.”

Tim and Sasha share an evil little smile and Martin’s out of commission, the night’s revelations and Jon’s insistent snuggling having taken their toll. He couldn’t tell you what happened after that, how many drinks were shared or how he got home. All he remembers is the feel of Jon’s hand on his arm, his insistent closeness, and the sound of his laugh whenever Tim teased him.

The next day Jon comes in late, looking about as bad as the rest of them felt. From the way he interacts with them, it’s likely that he doesn’t even remember last night, what he did or what he said. Martin tries not to let it sting, and goes back to work, knowing there’s a side of Jon that he’ll likely never see again.

__________

“Martin, we have to...talk, if that’s alright.”

Martin pauses, a lump building in his throat. “Okay.”

He settles in on Daisy’s lumpy couch, trying not to let his apprehension show. It’s been a week since Jon got him out of the Lonely and they’re still adjusting, but Martin likes to think they’re settling into a nice routine. There’s such a natural ease to their domesticity; they had their differences, sure, but he’s never seen the man so soft and unguarded, puttering around the cottage, making sure everything’s nice and comfortable for the two of them. And of course, there’s the bed situation. Only one, like in all the cliché fanfiction Martin had taken to reading back when he lived in the Archives and his biggest problem was worms. Maybe Jon doesn’t want to share anymore? He’s been strangely distant the past day, keeping space between them and hovering about in a nervous manner. He goes back through their interactions, trying to think of what he could’ve done wrong.

Jon sits down next to him, his face showing his own apprehension. “I know we’ve been getting...close, this past week. But if we’re going to ah, have an, er- well, you know, relationship- there’s some things you need to know.” Relationship. Jon thinks they're in a relationship. Martin didn’t want to put a label to it, too afraid it would shatter the fragile trust they built. But to be in a relationship with Jon, well, that’s something he’s always dreamed of, right?

So he relaxes minutely, tries not to show the utter joy he feels at the words. “Alright. What’s up?”

Jon takes a steadying breath, looking so oddly grave that Martin immediately wants to take him into his arms. “I don’t...well, I’m asexual. So I’m not really interested…” he makes a vague gesture down towards Martin’s crotch and then freezes, clearly embarrassed by the crudeness of the action. “I’m not interested in all of...that. Or kissing, for that matter. It’s just a personal boundary for me, if that’s alright.”

Oh. Martin blinks, taking in Jon’s serious countenance and hopeful eyes and while he wants to match it, he can’t control the laughter that bubbles out of his throat. “Oh-oh Jon-”

Jon immediately blanches, his brow furrowing in confusion and probably hurt. “W-What? What’s so funny?”

“I’m sorry! Fuck-it’s, it’s not that, that’s fine, it’s just-” Martin tries desperately to keep his laughter under control and fails. Christ, he can’t breathe. “Man delights not me, no, nor woman neither!”

“Why are you quoting Shakespeare?” Jon’s looking at him like he’s lost his mind. Perhaps he has.

“Because you did, you daft thing!” Martin’s shoulders shake with the effort of containing himself, and he wipes a tear from his eye. He immediately puts a hand on Jon’s arm, a mirror’s reflection of that night at the bar and yet it’s still his hand that burns. “Jon, it’s fine. I already know. You told us over drinks my first month in the Archives.”

Jon’s face takes on that peculiar look of confusion and concentration that Martin loves, as if he’s searching his mind or maybe even the Eye for information. “I-oh. Oh!” He puts his head in his hands with a groan, ignoring Martin’s comforting pats to the back. “How embarrassing.”

“It was adorable.”

“No it wasn’t,” Jon whines into his hands even as he leans into Martin’s touch.

“It was,” Martin assures him, drawing him close to his side and letting him lean his head on his shoulder. “I’m sorry I laughed- you were just so serious, I couldn’t help it-”

“Yes, well,” Jon sighed, settling into his arms, the beginnings of a smile on his face. “It’s fine. As long you’re alright with…”

“More than alright.” It’s Jon, of course it’s alright. Being here with him, in their little shabby oasis- well, it’s more than enough. They sit there in silence for some time, Martin enjoying the closeness of the man he’d fought so hard to protect finally in his arms. He’s starting to think they just might be alright. He smiles to himself, perching his chin on top of Jon’s head.

“To be or not to be-”

“Shut up, Martin.”

ao3: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28741983

#my writing #aspecarchives #tma #the magnus archives #jonathan sims #martin blackwood #jonmartin #asexual jonathan sims #cw drinking #gratuitous use of hamlet #the gay agenda

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lastknownstatus-alive · 2 years

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Hi ! If I may for your Ace Attorney AU I think that April should be Larry and Casey should be Franziska. April could be a "crime magnet" that always end up as a witness and can't keep her job because of it. I know that it's a shame because we can't have sibling Donnie and April like that but hey Larry has knew Miles as long as Phoenix so April and Donnie can still be childhood friend/adopted sibling in this ! Beside Casey personality fit well with Franziska and something interesting can be done with her relationship with Draxum ! And maybe even Splinter if she had know him before his murder ? Or through Donnie's stories of him 🤔.

Anyway feel free to not take into account my opinion on this, it's your AU after all. Though I wanted to share that I think that the rottmnt fandom deserve a fic were the turtles are important witness to a murder, someone is wrongfully arested and Phoenix is the defense attorney. Just thinking about how the boys would probably wound up April into testimony in their stead only for her to be discovered. About how she has to explain herself and tell she'll bring out the true witnesses if they keep an audiences to a minimal and the one present has to vow silence on what they'll discover. Then the boys arrive. All hail Chaos. After some panic people are like "you know everyday in the court of law is already so goddamn weird, this might as well happen ?" and calm down. Then Ralph, Leo, Donnie and Mikey proceed to be your average crazy AA witness (and I see them just testimony together because at this there's mutant in this court people don't care anymore 😂) but they actually provide very useful information. What between Ralph straightforwardness, Leo ability to detect anytging suspicious quicly, Donnie knowledge in technology and Mikey artistic eyes I think they would make very good and useful witness to solve a case. Just thinking about all this make me smile 😄.

Anyway I had forgot about that crossover but now it live rent free in my head again so thank you 😁 !

omg someone else knows enough about ace attorney that the post i made isn't just complete, utter nonsense-

GAH you're right about casey being fran and april probably being larry lmao - "shame this means we can't have april/donnie siblinghood stuff" FDHHDJ THIS FEELS LIKE I'M BEING CALLED OUT because YEAH...i know in my heart that casey fits better as fran bc it kinda aligns with her need to prove herself worthy but. that means i don't get april constantly calling donnie her Little Brother and it just severely annoying him cause it's just, well, True

i like that idea of just april being super unfortunate and just has to be defended constantly (though hm. too bad i don't think she quite fits the Maya role in this scenario lol), so larry does kinda make sense for her. and OH for the 4th case...april as a clutch witness to help her oldest friend out, even though he's so dickish now;; for the games i do see larry/miles/phoenix as the bff trio so perhaps this is better

casey and donnie's relationship i feel would be kinda different from miles/fran relationship since i don't really get any sibling vibes - maybe more like rivals to friends and dealing with all the trauma caused by draxum by the end of the trilogy, or something. casey knowing splinter through donnie if he opens up to her later on would be nice too - maybe a little through draxum badmouthing him as well? this is a mess but idc

ok ok so wait for your thoughts it's like - april is the fake witness then after a turn of events it's revealed she's (like every other witness) lying on the stand to protect her boys. boys come in - man what if Nobody bats an eye and it's because one of them is like "we're cosplayers :)", and everyone immediately forgives this except phoenix - and it's a mess and they're all terrible at being good witnesses bc they're teenagers who've never stepped inside a courtroom ever. they'd all have such sick breakdown animations my god

and ofc phoenix wins but it's after he gets like. repeatedly threatened by a 14 year old with a magic sword. every so often leo make a portal just to smack his face from the defendant's stand if he screws up.

#mar thinks a shitton #(this is a MESS-)#ask #rottmnt #turt lawyer au #long post

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brawltogethernow · 3 years

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I suppose the next step then is "BBC Merlin but it's SpideyTorch"

Oh my god. TEACHER, TEACHER, SHE’S TARGETING ME okay okay uh.

Peter, secret warlock, goes to Camelot with his mother figure, May, who does not know about the warlock thing because it kicked in when he was a teenager and they both strategically decline to tell each other things. Gaius is Reed, who was the court sorcerer and is now the court scientist. (He’s not an old man except spiritually where he has been a senile professor since he was 19.) He literally didn’t change anything he was doing, considering science and magic as different points on one spectrum anyway-- No. That’s Doom’s schtick. DOOM was the court sorcerer, and was fired. He is upset about it. Reed is just a science guy but worked extensively with Victor, so he’s kind of useful, but not as useful as Peter was hoping.

I know very little about Sue and Johnny’s dad except that he’s a supervillain who...faked his death, revealed himself, and then died for real like 12 hours later? Did he also fake his wife’s death at some point? Would he do a mad king magic ban thing? Idk but for plot purposes we’ll say yes. They conveniently already share Arthur’s dead mom syndrome. Maybe their aunt whose name is different depending on what issue you’re reading is also here just to convolute the court drama. Wait no didn’t Arthur have a shady uncle show up after like five seasons. She.

Peter is very talented at finicky, specific magical formulas. (Reed: :) )But in practice he really prefers to just slam out a big wave of power, and if that doesn’t solve the problem, repeat until it does. (Reed: :( ) He gives this a go at the beginning of sorting out any problem, like restarting your glitching computer, and if it doesn’t work the problem is complicated enough to be an episode plot.

So obviously I’m still gonna do secret identity shit? Peter saves the young prince and heir’s life and is rewarded with a second job; he only came here for job reasons and you’re all lucky he doesn’t turn down paying jobs otherwise he’d be having some words with the king. Peter also accidentally becomes a masked vigilante out in the town. His very existence is illegal because he’s obviously doing magic! They keep sending his boss out to hunt him down, and their eyes are always locking dramatically and shit in brief silent stare-offs from opposite ends of the street in thunder storms at sunset until Johnny’s horse rears and breaks the eye contact causing Peter to snap out of it and flee. You know how it is.

Sue is older than Johnny and thus older than the magic ban, so she responded to it by going “:) That’s nice, Dad” and socking away a bunch of books before they could go on the fire, and now she’s just a sorceress on the dl. This is approx. a first season finale reveal, because her real superpower is being able to keep her mouth the hell shut. I literally cannot with how nobody in Merlin ever exchanges information, so shortly after Peter and Reed learn this they exchange secrets, like sane people, which opens up their resources a bit.

That said Sue is an extra legitimate royal, not the Morgana equivalent. Maybe Gwen should be Gwen, especially since I have thought Gwen/Johnny/Peter has potential since reading Spider-Man/Fantastic Four (which if you read an earlier ask, I recommend if you want to see new art of Gwen being mean in hair clips). But Peter/Gwen and Merlin/Freya are like...same energy except the latter wasn’t as well done. And Merlin’s Guinevere honestly more reminds me of Betty. Morgana--

(wheeze)

(cough)

Okay I thought this trying to reconcile as much of the cast as possible and I now can’t unthink it so. The king’s ward is Dorrie Evans. Yes she goes nebulously sapphic evil witch queen. Sure she was an unpleasant teenager and readers hate her, but you know what, I’ll simp, whatever. Let Dorrie poison some people. In a cape. This feels natural to me. Also Betty Brant and Dorrie Evans???? Betty/Dorrie vibes???? I guess!!!!

So like. The thing where Arthur gets mystically whammied by love potions once a month, except also Johnny’s normal relationship-anticipating giddiness happening organically mixed in, the part before he actually starts dating someone and becomes immediately depressed. Peter is in the bg sarcastically dismissing magical incidents saying he can’t even tell the difference, and Reed is like 😬 Please Check Anyway. Peter’s not, haha, Peter’s not jealous, Johnny is just an idiot, and, okay maybe Peter is a little jealous! But it doesn’t matter because the prince is going to marry some noble and--

Reed: Prince Johnathan is a bit like a little brother to me, so Please Stop Telling Me About Your Problems.

Reed/Sue is reciprocated but on permanent hold for class reasons. Spideytorch is in the same boat except they’re also stupid and working it out by dating their way through the whole country, except Peter is actually into that and Johnny is not.

The dragon is...Ezekiel?????? That’s the right level of wise wry mentor who’s very shady and will kill you, so he’s a dragon now. And when he tells Peter he’s the (other) chosen one, Peter full stop doesn’t believe him. This disbelief goes on extensively. Peter is not a fate-oriented person. Johnny would love to hear about the fate thing, but no one will tell him.

Literally I’m just going to add more chronologically unmoored medievalish shit to Merlin now to cram more of the cast in. There’s some kind of town crier/herald outfit, and Jonah is their boss. He’s just out in the road yelling sometimes even though he can delegate that. The buglers otherwise known as Bugle staff named Peter’s vigilante persona the Spider, which was supposed to sound menacing but is in practice also cool. This is out-of-universe fairly equivalent to Merlin’s real name as a neat two-syllable animal word and possible title. In-universe maybe I’d elbow out Emrys and just use this. Merlin is already very servants-don’t-work-like-that, so Betty just also has two jobs for no reason so she can knock elbows with them.

MJ is the court jester and knows absolutely everything, which is a dramatic mid-game reveal that isn’t exactly foreshadowed so much as always possible while carefully obscured from the viewer (the reader). Before this she’s already a Wise Fool, Shakespeare-ways archetype character, it’s just not clear how much. She is the most important character in Homestuck Merlin Spider.

Every ship is real for at least 30 seconds. Most of the extended FF cast are either magical antagonists or weird nobles.

Ben????? (Grimm, I mean. Ben Parker is dead. Ben Reilly is a recurring episodic plot.) This show was painfully formulaic and would simply not keep someone with any version of his deal in the main cast, but he’s a full quarter of the FF so. A magical accident approximated his rock body deal. Maybe specifically tying him to ~the magic of the land~. And then, uh. Wandering the country is too satellite-like. Hiding out in a forbidden castle wing is interesting but doesn’t do him justice. So I guess it’s a come and go semivoluntary transformation thing that’s kept secret? Rock werewolf. Were-rock. Good opportunity to fake out like you’re going to do a monster of the week plot, and then he contributes to the tension to abolish the magic ban.

Knights?? Wyatt is there from the beginning, being tall and reassuring (holding a sword edition). Not sure how him or his immediate ancestors got to Europe and then ended up this involved with the local nobility, but it was probably exciting. And Flash, or he’s an early addition. Either way he’s from the same village as Peter and is approximately White’s Kay, except directed at the wizard instead of the future king, and otherwise you can completely superimpose their comic dynamic including the fanboying over the secret identity angle, which is entertainingly seditious. ...Others. I don’t know enough FF characters for this. I’ve accidentally implied the eventual addition of Bennet Brant, but his evil sorcerer of the week energy is very strong, so maybe not. Randy eventually because I already implied the Robertsons and can see it.

This is so long, covers nothing, and explains none of the namechecks. Using both these characters’ franchises in one fusion is too much stuff. I keep not talking about the core relationship because it’s just. Like That. I don’t feel like I need to elaborate on the Merthur dynamic, even transposed on a different ship. It’s Just Like That.

#merlin #spiderman #fantastic four #spideytorch #bbc merlin #spidey #ff #marvel #phoenixyfriend #asks answered

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mybg3notebook · 3 years

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Gale Summarised Analysis

Disclaimer Game Version: All these analyses were written up to the game version v4.1.104.3536 (Early access). As long as new content is added, and as long as I have free time for that, I will try to keep updating this information. Written in May 2021.

The majority of sources used for this article are in the game itself (this includes my Gale-solo playthroughs as well as a combination of the videos by munmomuu and selphie1999), and the few dev’s notes provided by pjenn. Gale as origin is not taken into account since it’s not finished and has little to none Gale-related content. There will be little datamining content as well since pjenn said the game contained almost no gale-related notes (only in the Weave and in the Revelation scene).

Additional disclaimers about meta-knowledge and interpretations in (post)

The number between brackets [] represents the topic-block related to (this post), which gathers as much evidence as I could get.

We can infer about Gale by analysing what he approves and disapproves of. Sometimes, we can even lightly infer some information from his neutral reactions, but let’s be honest: this way of analysing a char is pretty poor since it leaves everything to speculation. Neutral reactions can only be analysed, in very rare instances, by contrasting the same situation in other contexts, and seeing what other options Gale approves or disapproves of. With these considerations in mind, we can proceed to describe this character.

Disclaimer: this is a meta with my personal interpretation of the character, sticking as much as possible to the facts and leaving little to “desires” or “projections” of what I want him to be. If I do so, I will state it explicitly in the text for the sake of analysis honesty. I want to be clear about what is canon (facts shown in bg3 EA), from what’s personal interpretation with little proof.

Understanding Gale (integrated text)

We are none of us monsters. We are merely hatcheries for monstrous things. So we fight them

---Gale

Collecting most of the information provided in-game, we know he has a cat, a Library, and writes poetry sometimes. One of the first things that Gale will reveal is that he is a private person. He easily and clearly sets boundaries from the first moment, showing Tav where they stand. The second aspect he makes us aware of is his pragmatic thinking and his preference for diplomatic approaches. A third aspect that stands out on its own: he is a very verbose person, maybe as a result of his academia background in combination with his poetry hobby. He also has a bad posture when talking, but I’m not sure if this is intentional or a bug.

We can assure that Gale certainly is a man of the city [13], and may have a decent social status. It's impossible to say for sure if it's noble or rich or both, or it is just a natural consequence of being a wizard scholar: he is frustrated by the harshness of the camping life, he misses the civilisation of the city which offers well cooked meals, soft beds, and scented baths. Not by chance he is the only companion in the group who would approve of giving Oskar 200 gold to fight “the discomforts of the road” [13]. However, he adapts. Despite the lack of luxuries, he managed to survive in the wilderness.

Gale and his link with magic is unquestionable. Magic is life for Gale, metaphorically and literally speaking since it's magic what allows him to stay alive despite the "orb" in his chest. If we talk about Magic, we have to talk about Mystra and the Weave. The Weave is not only the embodiment of Mystra, it's an extension of Mystra herself. It extends across many planes of existence and is in almost all parts of Faerûn. By dragging power from it, Magic can be performed.

Mystra, for lore reasons and conjectures that I will discuss in the post "Mystra and her Chosen ones", turned teenager/young adult Gale into one of her Chosen, making their relationship more intimate and granting Gale a deeper access to the Weave. This put Gale into the category of an archwizard. It's clear that Gale was and still is a devotee of Mystra, which could give us a hint of his alignment since she is a neutral good goddess and she expects for her Chosen to align around it.

Gale likes confidence, in others and in himself. He is confident in his looks (he has described himself as a “handsome devil” and answered during the romance/Revelation scene that he knew he was beautiful under the light as well as Tav). But beyond these two lines, qualifying him as a narcissist seems extreme. He is surely very confident about his knowledge, and we see he is not just mere words: his Mind Flayer knowledge is at the the same level of what githyankis know. If we compare how Astarion/Tav struggled with the book of Thay, and then we see how Gale manages it (sadly the scene is not complete yet in EA, and there is almost no datamining info of Gale), we can conclude once more that his knowledge and power of the mind are real (he is, so far, the main companion who allows us to explore the lore of the game in a deeper way during his conversations). We also know it's a bit more complicated to intrude into his mind using the tadpole because he has knowledge and mental tools to protect himself (check the post about the Tadpole inside Gale). He is certainly a very verbose and confident scholar, who knows his limits, and in occasions he seems to dabble into an ego-teasing play as an attempt of levity, displaying his “insufferable side”, as he has described himself (his self-awareness of these traits is remarkable, and it is the reason why I avoid qualifying him as arrogant. Arrogant chars are hardly self-aware of their own bad manners or insufferable traits). But we can see it's usually done as a joke or, with an evil Tav, as an aggressive reaction. For a deep analysis of this aspect, check the post about "Gale Hypotheses- Part 2", section: "Narcissism".

Based on his approvals and disapprovals, we can see that Gale has a strong preference in avoiding fights, violence, and bloodshed [1]. He will always prefer diplomatic and persuasive approaches [2]. Reasoning is his best weapon, but if the individual we are dealing with can hardly be persuaded, he would approve of a deception or an intimidation as long blood is not spilt. Here is where we see his pragmatism in action, all the time. His primary goal at every moment is to avoid bloodshed. His philosophy could be summed up in the line “the means [as long as they don’t kill gratuitously] hardly matter if the end is worthy”. And for Gale, nothing is more worthy than life [3]. This doesn't cover only the life of innocents he cares about, it includes the life of the most dubious characters as well, such as Rugan or Crusher. Gratuitous death is meaningless for him. During the scene of Nettie we can have a glimpse of his philosophy towards life: he viscerally hates treating life as if it were nothing:

Gale: How dare she snuff out life with as much thought as snuffing out a bloody candle? […] It's not right to feel the cold breath of death in your neck, then move on as if it was nothing but a soothing breeze. One respects life by fighting for it, and one respects death by fearing it.

Gale: One should never be afraid to live life to the fullest.

Probably the limited amount of life he has due to the "orb" increased his sense of respect for life and its celebration. I personally understand Gale as a character who embodies the perspectives of a seriously ill person, knowing that their life may be short, but they will try to make the best out of it.

He doesn't only respect life per se, he also cares about its dignity. This can be seen in his explicit rejection to undead existences such as Connor (he explains that it would be merciful to put an end to his undead nightmare), or in his disapprovals of humiliation and torture [9]

We could suspect that this emphasis in protecting any life comes from the fact that only people who are alive can (sometimes) be forgiven or/and change. This is not explicit, but since he is a character who talks about being better and wiser than his previous self, about acknowledging mistakes, about forgiveness, this interpretation seems reasonable.

These concepts of kindness and compassion combined with “the mistakes of the youth” are repetitive in his interactions and approvals [5,12]. Of course, they echo in his soul since they are reflections and desires of his own experience. This pattern covers forgiving children in particular [5], and disapproving hard judgements [16], especially on matters whose story is not fully understood by Tav. This means he doesn't like quick judgements when he doesn't know the whole story first. This scenario can be easily seen during Karlach's quest, he reserves his judgment until knowing Karlach's side: There are always two sides to each story.

Gale: I have to say I don't know if agreeing to this hunt was such a wise idea. Who's to say who's the real villain in this tale of devils and masquerades? [...]When we track Karlach down, let's chat before we chop.

Similar concept appears during his Revelation scene, when he encourages and keeps asking Tav to listen to him first before judging. This is also the reason why in his Loss scene he would disapprove if Tav quickly assumes that his loss of Mystra was due to arrogance. Tav judged him without knowing the whole story. However, once Tav knows the whole story, Gale will accept any judgement from them without approval penalties during the Revelation scene.

He approves all actions that imply helping others in hard times and disapproves of them if they were done out of greed [4]. He is an animal lover [6,7]. Being kind to animals and treating them good will increase his approval, while animal cruelty will earn his disapproval. Same goes for humanoids: any display of gratuitous violence that could have been prevented with a trick or a diplomatic approach, any humiliation forced upon others, any torture or situation of slavery, is disapproved [8, 9, 11].

In particular, Gale seems to advocate the philosophy of “give others their own medicine”[18] or in other words: poetic justice. We can see this during the Myconid colony; he approves of helping the Myconid to avenge the young killed by the Duergar, adding the comment: “Wicked killers deserve wicked ends”. He is implying to give them a similar, wicked medicine to the Duergars. Another less deadly situation of this kind is shown during the foot situation with Crusher: Gale is the one suggesting “pungent poetic justice” and telling Tav that they should force Crusher to kiss their feet.

The most iconic scene, however, is during Nettie's, if Tav lies during her interrogation. As a hot-headed reaction, Gale states that he would have poisoned Nettie if this situation would have happened to him. Although, after calming down, he approves of and confirms Tav's actions [if Tav managed to persuade Nettie to give them the antidote]

Gale: A taste of her own medicine is what she deserves! […] But you handled it, and you handled it well.

In this scene we also see a pattern: Gale is shown as a fallible human; his most visceral reaction during the first moment is anger and indignation, giving us a hint that he is not so rational when it comes to emotional states. An extremely obvious, human concept.

The scene of Nettie trying to kill a potential menace (the victim of a MF) reverberated in his consciousness, projecting immediately a fact in his mind: if he ever dares to reveal his "orb" problem, and anyone knows what a danger he represents—no matter how stable it looks—people will want to remove the menace by killing him.

This is the reason behind his words “It's just that, had it been me... had it been...” Gale knows that this simplistic and common thinking in removing what's dangerous would end up turning into a more destructive tragedy in his case than in any infected victim of the tadpoles. So this combination makes us see, for the first time, an emotional Gale. After some seconds, he cools down and returns to his more rational, diplomatic, and moderate self. What we can read here is that Gale would be very prone to rush decisions or to make mistakes under emotional circumstances. We will learn later that the other mistake he made under emotional stress ended up with the "orb" stuck in his chest. A third mistake was done during the party, once more under the emotional stress of a potential abandonment by Tav due to the true nature of the orb.

Everything related to the “orb”—which is his most traumatic experience—naturally makes him more emotional and prone to mistakes. To see how truly traumatic the "orb" is in his life we can notice the following patterns during the meeting scene: he speaks about the tadpole in a relaxed, rational way, despite the traumatising experience. He first asks for an archwizard instead of for a cleric, because his priority is the orb. Gale's main fear is not the tadpole, but the orb. If we remember his words after the consumption of the artefacts, we realise he lives in a permanent state of anxiety and raw fear, and probably pain too, given his facial gesticulation when anything interacts with the "orb" (whether artefacts or Tav's hand). His banter with Shadowheart reinforces the concept that he always has a knot in the stomach. When he accepts the deal with Raphael, it seems to be related to the orb, not to the tadpole. The effect of the "orb" has ceased, but the tadpole is still in Gale's head since we still need to roll against a high DC and not only against a 1DC during this scene, so we can assume he still has the tadpole despite Raphael's deal. See the post about "The Tadpole" in Gale for more details.

Gale is a character that represents human experiences deeply related to growing up: mistakes done in the past, and the acceptance of not being forgiven despite the desire of wanting to. This can be easily seen during the conversation of the second tadpole dream, where Gale's mood is foul and we learn that his deepest desire is for Mystra to forgive him, but he also knows it's impossible for that to happen. He detects the lie in this dream because he has accepted that Mystra will never forgive him. Gale is the story of mistakes done during youth with grave consequences, of acknowledging them and trying to make them right, of surviving those mistakes, and depending on the interpretation, he is also the story of an ill dying man, with a gentle vision and deep care for life.

The great majority of his approvals are based on actions that show kindness and compassion, both reiterative concepts that are so important in his character that they come from his lips when we see the goblin party:

Gale: The shadow within is spreading like poison, corrupting kindness and compassion. [Only after a tough DC of 15]

In combination with: Gale: I don't know myself anymore. All this... It's not who I am. Around you, I'm not who I want to be. I should leave.

These lines show how, in a sudden change to an evil path, Gale would start doubting his own morality, explaining that the cause of it is the "orb" itself, corrupting the most core aspects of his personality. This corruption may or may not be lore-related. It's not completely clear what Gale's "orb" truly is. For more details, check the post of the "Orb".

His constant critical thinking comes from his advocacy to non-conventionality [15]: a true scholar will always explore all the options and hypotheses before reaching a conclusion. Therefore, Gale would approve of any non-conventional way to fix a problem [15] as long as it doesn't potentially cause harm or bloodshed [1,2,3,8,9]. Due to his own background, Gale will always advise to be very careful of the consequences of one’s actions. This can be easily seen when, after encountering the caged goblin Sazza, Gale would advocate to explore the possibility of reaching Gut Priestess to cure the tadpole. However, when Tav helps Sazza to escape, Gale will comment briefly against this action.

Gale: I know I said it's not inconceivable a goblin priestess could help us. And yet... was it really wise to set another goblin free so she can arrange introductions? […] consider the consequences. What if she leads her entire tribe to the grove? Tav: I don't care, I owe this grove no allegiance. Gale: No allegiance, no. Though we don't need to sign its death warrant

Once more we see that Gale is up to using any (unharming) means to get a goal, but not at any cost. He has a clear line he doesn't like to cross: life [3]. Avoiding putting other people's lives in danger is very important for him. We see this concept over and over in most scenes.

He doesn't likerushed decisions, and in that same train of thoughts, he will disapprove any use of unknown magic or tricks when nobody in the group can truly understand how they work [17], for example the tadpoles or Raphael's deal (he is against accepting it quickly, but he will approve of having a more cautious attitude and carefully thinking about it).

Since the moment we meet him, we can infer he is obsessed with the artefacts. It's obviously understandable: he doesn't want to die, but also, he doesn't want to kill all those that will be caught in the eruption of the orb. For this reason he will insist on the loot in the Temple Ruins despite knowing that grave robbery is not correct.

Gale: Bad form, isn't it? Grave robbing? […] Let's have a look at the loot. It isn't for your pockets only.

He keeps pondering life over death: although he respects the dead, he will always value more the living creatures in the present. This is also what pushes Gale to suggest Tav to open Rugan's chest. Stealing from the evil Zhentarins is not something that will weigh on his consciousness too much. Besides, he knows it belongs to a wizard: meaning that the chance for it to contain a powerful artefact is really high. Similar suggestions will be said about the Idol of Silvanus, but talking with him in the camp will show us that he won't approve of taking it, only as a last resort. He keeps pondering the living over a sacred piece of stone, since he knows the druids won't take the stealing very peacefully. Once more we see Gale's respect and care for life, trying to minimise damage as much as the circumstances allow him.

Gale is also a survivalist. He doesn't want to die, he loves celebrating life in its more mundane and small details. He is an emotional character for a wizard, a bit strange since they are usually portrayed as more rational and cold, losing their lives among dusty books. However, Gale has shown in many scenes that he prefers to survive without killing, but if he has to, he will do it, dealing with the weight of it in his consciousness because killing unprovoked affects him (scene in the camp after killing the druids, or the goblin party scene).

His moral in preventing gratuitous death sometimes will conflict with his own survival, especially if he is by an evil Tav's side. He couldn't accept bloodshed when other peaceful options were available and possible to reach. This is clearly shown during the goblin party, where Gale's consciousness suffers and feels the corruption of the "orb" killing the kindness and the compassion inside him. He accepts that wanting to live is a powerful drive, but he doesn't support this massacre, questioning if all that blood was necessary. A Tav killing the tieflings seems to lose the possibility of pursuing Gale romantically, at least in EA so far. For Gale, survival is important, but the means to do it (when they can cause death) matter too. Life is worth preserving.

The usual archetype of survivalist tends to be an individualist one who would survive at any cost without remorse because that's the “law of the jungle”, the strongest must survive. However, Gale seems to embody a different concept of survivalist that it's hard to put in words: a sort of communal survivalist, trying to survive in coexistence with his community: he wants his survival to imprint the least harm possible (even though sometimes it would not be possible), trying to help those around him as long as his condition allows it; for example, despite wanting Gut's potential cure for the tadpole, he would disagree in helping Sazza escape because she will lead the goblins to the Grove, no matter the fact that doing this will grant them their introduction to the priestess.

His list of approval shows that his sense of survival is always pondered with the consequences that it can cause on others (check the post with the "Extensive list of Gale's approvals"). The whole concept of the "orb" has this motivation as well: he wants to live and survive, but he also can't give up because his body would kill many, so he needs to do as much as his moral allows him to keep it in check. If he cannot do it any longer, he promises to minimise the disaster as much as possible by erupting in the deep Underdark or in a desolated corner of Faerûn (and considering his ridiculous list of approvals and disapprovals, we know he is honest in not wanting to kill gratuitously). Gale acknowledges his own mistakes, trying—to the best of his ability—to deal with them without catching others in them. Although all his speeches keep emphasising that he is a mere human, and plans may fail.

At some point, if he wants to survive “not at any cost”, he will be forced to ask Tav for help during the scene of the stew (available only for medium approval or higher). As a gesture of honesty, Gale will set a boundary before making this request, acknowledging its unfairness but giving Tav the decision to proceed or not. He is not denying to explain the details later, but at the moment he can't speak the “why” of his condition no matter how curious Tav is. Tav will decide whether they can keep their curiosity on the matter.

We will understand later that this impediment comes as a precaution as well as consequence of his personal trauma with Mystra and the "orb" (See post about "Gale: Manipulation, Lies, and Trust"). So, he is very clear about setting the conditions in which this conversation will happen from the beginning. The easiest way for Gale to avoid this whole situation would have been by simply lying, but he opted for an honest approach with clear out-loud reservations, knowing he was asking for more trust than he was allowed to, but the intention behind is more than important. There is a clear, huge contextual detail that we can't miss: this scene doesn't happen because of Gale's whims, he is forced to ask for help since his condition “is not a patient one” and will endanger everyone if not kept at bay.

This detail where Gale explicitly asks for an exchange of trust is not present if Gale's approval is neutral or lower. In this case, Gale would not care about giving a context to his strange request: he doesn't trust Tav and he doesn't expect to be trusted either, he only wants the artefacts to keep his condition in check for his sake and the sake of others. We can understand this change of attitude depending on the approval as he doesn't want to give any extra explanation to someone he is not interested in building a relationship with. For more details, check the post about "Gale: Manipulation, Lies, and Trust".

I personally support the idea that nobody in canon Faerûn is free of racial prejudices since Forgotten Realms lore has been created based strongly on fantasy racism. I've read that WotC wants to move forward and improve this aspect in 5e, but so far what they allowed Larian to do with the Tieflings in BG3 seems to show the contrary. So, since apparently we are going to face fantasy racism anyways, I will try to analyse racial prejudices from all chars. When it comes to Gale, it's a bit far-stretched to point out unjustified racial biases. He has a vague comment about Rashemi that some people may consider a faerunian saying. Personally, I think that line is a bias forced into him to have a particular dynamic with Minsc (the Rashemi “silly” companion -we all can see where Larian seems to go with this). Gale clearly sees tieflings, gnomes, and even goblins as people, and has a cautious attitude towards some githyanki (at least that's what we can infer with Lae'zel when we find her in the cage), but given the githyanki lore it's pretty reasonable to see them as dangerous creature that could kill people on the spot. So far, he seems to have no racial preference either [10].

As it was said before, he prefers to avoid killing people, but that doesn't mean he won't do it if his life depends on it. He will prefer persuasive and defusing approaches, but if he needs to kill to defend innocents or his own life, he won't hesitate. So therefore, stories about characters making mistakes or having violent excess in an effort to protect themselves or what they hold dear will be understood by him but hardly approved [19]. He tends more to approve a call out of that excess than approving an excuse for it.

Gale has deep abandonment issues that can be easily seen when he defends Astarion from being handed over to Gandrel. We need to put this in context before going on: for Gale, Astarion represents a danger as a vampire who attacked one of them during their sleep. By the display of meta-knowledge, we know with certainty that their approvals and disapprovals are mostly opposite: What one approves, the other will disapprove and vice versa. Getting rid of Astarion should be something that Gale would approve, however, he doesn't. If we explore his comments we will realise that what Gale disapproves from this situation is Tav's abandonment. After Mystra's abandonment, he knows very well that “Loyalty is such a very rare commodity”, and the few situations in EA in which Tav can display abandonment, resound strongly in Gale.

Gale is a scholar with a strong balanced rational side. But unlike the trope, he also embraces an emotional side that, so far the info we received in EA, it's the side that makes him prone to mistakes.

As an amateur poet, Gale loves words. We can obviously notice this in his verbose attitude, but also in the way he carefully uses words. One of his characteristic words is “spectacle”. He has also shown a reiterative—although not always—uneasy use of the word “fun”. Using “fun” as a way to describe the night spent with Gale gives him a slight uneasiness. “That’s a word for it.” He disapproves of using the word “Fun” after the Mayrina/Connor situation, in which scene Gale alludes that “your new company may be a proof of how depraved and twisted you are to see that tragedy as “fun”. Personally I think this is a direct allusion to Astarion, who considers Mayrina's situation as “entertainment”, in the same way he considered as “fun” the show of Arabella's death (two of several instances where he used that word). Gale also doesn’t use the word sex during EA, instead he uses romantic ones such as love-making, intimacy, art of the night/body. In the most technical case: coitus (used only when he is talking about “goblinoid intimacy” in the expression “post-coital snack”). These details are showing not only his poet/romantic side, but also his interpretation of sex from his perspective: sex can only be possible through a connection. We know he doesn’t engage in casual sex with Lae’zel if he is not romanced, and his romance can only potentially start if Tav shares that deep connection with him through the Weave.

Another detail related to words is that Gale has always used an infection/disease-related vocabulary to explain the “orb” stuck in his chest: infested, taint, shadow spreading

[…] I failed to control [this chaotic magic]. Instead it infested me. […] This Netherese taint... this orb, for lack of a better word [..] […] the shadow within is spreading like poison, corrupting kindness and compassion. [...]

Gale apparently has a particular way to sense magic. I have no way to check this in-game, but it seems very strange how he immediately identifies magical artifacts without casting Detect Magic. There are some extra scenes as well where he says to taste or smell the magic in some objects. Even his encounter with Shadowheart, besides being considered a flirt, could be also interpreted as him detecting the magic that we saw later in her hand or maybe the dark magic that blocks her memories, since Gale pointed out about a curtain covering her soul: “if the eyes are the mirror to the soul, yours have dark curtains across the mirror” (a very ominous flirting if it’s only a flirt)

This makes me suspect that, if the "orb" is not giving him this skill, it may be a consequence of having been Chosen of Mystra (for more details read the post about "Mystra and her Chosen ones"). If this is the case, he may have hindered remains of theirs powers when it comes to detect magic at will.

Gale has a perception of magic with all the senses: he sniffs and tastes magic. During the mirror scene you have an option related to [Arcana] tag where he “Sniff the mirror, trying to understand the nature of its magic”. A wizard Tav will just “Inspect the mirror”. He also said that he could “taste” the magic in the necromancy book and in the runes of teleportation.

What we know of his family is little: when he was a kid there was a housekeeper in his life (mentioned only once during the scene of the harpies) and his mother that seemed to have personally raised and cared for him (mentioned twice: in the ruin temple scene, and in his banter with Wyll)

Tav: Why care about decorum in a long-abandoned tomb? Gale: Because my mother raised a gentleman. Then again, to be alive is to be curious.

Wyll: Between the orb and the bug you've got more than your fair share of unwelcome passengers. Gale: What can I say. Mother always taught me to be a gracious host.

This post was written in May 2021. → For more Gale: Analysis Series Index

#bg3 meta #gale #gale of waterdeep #bg3 gale #bg3 early access #bg3

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kenobiapologist · 3 years

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Star Wars Novel Rankings

In celebration of the end of this year, I made a tier list of all of the Star Wars novels I’ve read since I joined this fandom in 2017 (which you can use to rank these books too). And I named all the tiers in a dorky but appropriate fashion. I would love to hear your thoughts on my rankings, as well as how you’d rank the books yourself! I’ve had a blast reading Star Wars novels from both Disney’s canon and the Legends extended universe over these past 3 years. Here’s to many more years of reading stories from the galaxy far far away!

I put longer (but not more coherent) thoughts below the cut.

The Chosen One: Bringing Balance to the Force and My Depressed Soul

1. The first spot of top tier had to go to Matthew Stover’s Revenge of the Sith novelization for obvious reasons. You simply cannot beat it. It’s a masterpiece. I literally had to put the book down to scream when I read the prose associated with the opening battle over Coruscant. It gave a whole new meaning to the triumphant music and the synchronous twirling of Obi-Wan and Anakin’s starfighters as they weave through blaster-fire in the battle over Coruscant. The rest of the book is the same way. You can’t put it down. I have wAyyYyYy too many feelings about this book oh my god.

2. Thrawn was a surprising book for me. For being centered on an admiral of the Empire’s navy, it had so much heart in it! I loved reading from Eli Vanto’s perspective too. god dammit I love that freaking Wild Space hillbilly dweeb with all my heart. I think his experiences getting to know Thrawn and learning from him guides the reader to feel much the same way as Eli by the end. Thrawn is a trusted friend, not the enemy you expect him to be. I could have done without Arihnda Pryce but she’s supposed to be unlikeable so I won’t blame Timothy Zahn this time.

3. The Clone Wars Gambit duology is basically Karen Miller writing fanfic and I’m HERE FOR IT. As is tradition with Karen Miller’s Star Wars novels, the emotions are dialed up the eleven. Our favorite dumbass Jedi team is back at it again with a mission to save the galaxy and this time they end up going undercover as two lumberjacks from the boonies. Anakin holds an energy shield back from collapsing with his bare hands like a total badass. Obi-Wan is in love with another woman despite it always ending in tragedy, while also bickering like a married couple with Anakin every ten seconds. get a fucking room, you two. These two books inspired one of my fics so they’re near and dear to my heart.

Jedi Master: These Books Have A Seat On The Council Too

4. Wild Space was appropriately named, I’ll tell you that. It’s a wild ride from start to finish. *slaps the front cover* this book can fit so much of Obi-Wan’s suffering in it! @forcearama has elaborated on the many reasons why this book is a gem in Snark Wars blog posts (linked here). It’s also the beginning of the best team-up since Anakin and Obi-Wan...Bail and Obi-Wan! These two bastards get under each other’s skin but it makes for the perfect character development. This book is the reason I screech with delight whenever Bail Organa appears on screen, or is mentioned in conversation. Bail gets a mysterious tip about trouble on a planet, and Obi-Wan decides to go with him to investigate. Cue Sith-induced suffering. It’s cool to see a normal person experiencing the weirdness of Force sensitives and how the world has this extra level of sensory information in it. Plotwise this one isn’t the best, but I think the interactions between characters really shine in this novel. Karen Miller’s writing is like a cup of hot chocolate to me. Indulgent character insight, full of sweet moments, has a bunch of extra marshmallowy dialogue, you’re reading it to have a good time but not to be satisfied with plot. You get me?

5. Do I even have to explain myself here? Kenobi by John Jackson Miller is both an interesting western-style tale set on Tatooine, and a beautiful character study of a man stricken with grief he keeps suppressed. How does one continue on when their whole family was murdered and their whole culture burnt to ash? I wanted to give Obi-Wan a hug the entire time I read this. The characterization was spot-on, from the way he wrangled animals to the way he severed a man’s arm off in a bar with his lightsaber. And when he meets a woman named Annileen Calwell, or Annie for short, Obi-Wan can’t bring himself to call her by her nickname ever and if that doesn’t just break your damn heart fucking fuck.

6. Ahsoka was the first Disney canon book I ever read and it kickstarted my love for E.K. Johnston. The writing is simplistic, but that makes it easy to jump into. Overall, it’s a quick and enjoyable read. By far the best parts are the flashbacks that mull over memories Ahsoka has of the time before Order 66. That shit hits you right in the heart, man. And the part where Ahsoka equates Obi-Wan and Anakin to her adoptive family ohhhhhhh god the tears they flow like a river. There are scenes that allude to Ahsoka becoming the vital part of the Rebellion we know her to be from Rebels, balanced with her current struggles to survive and find herself. Despite having cast away her identity as a Jedi and having any remaining bits of her culture destroyed by Palpatine, Ahsoka shows us all how bright a hero can shine in the darkest of times. AND SHE WAS WRITTEN AS QUEER! finally some good fucking food.

7. Oh shit, another E.K. Johnston book? Don’t be surprised. She’s a prequel fan and so am I, hence why Queen’s Shadow is so high on the list. E.K. Johnston pays homage to our favorite queen and badass senator Padme Amidala. There’s politics, there’s solidarity between female characters, and Bail Organa is in it so you KNOW I simply must give it a high rating. All jokes aside, I thought the story added lots of little details to the world of Star Wars without it being all stereotypical sci-fi nerdy language. You know how people want to describe something beyond our technological capabilities so they throw a bunch of nonsense together like “pre-praxis crystal bio-anode circuitry”? I’m looking at you, Karen Miller, I love you but please. There is none of that in this book. It makes sense, it adds color and culture and life to the worlds of Star Wars. Most of all, it devotes time and love to developing Padme outside of her place in canon as Anakin’s wife, Queen of Naboo, and Senator. She is all of these things, but she’s human too. I do agree that the pacing is slow, but it’s something meant to be savored, I think. E.K. Johnston really shines when she’s writing dialogue because she gets these characters. That’s something to appreciate, because not all canon books agree with the way we’ve perceived the characters as an audience.

8. Rogue Planet chewed me up, spit me out, and declared me an even bigger stan for The Team. People who say Qui-Gon would have been a better master for Anakin can ~get out~ because I could read about these two hooligans getting neck deep in space shenanigans all damn day. Anakin is like twelve, which is a time in his training that we don’t get a lot of in canon. Personally, I think it was equal parts heartwarming and funny to read about their adventures. There is some angst sprinkled in there because hey, we’re reading about Anakin here, let’s not forget the emotional trainwreck that is Anakin Skywalker. The duo is sent to a planet that makes super fast ships that are ?sentient? or at least biologically active. They bond with the pilot, which makes Anakin perfect for this mission. There’s a scene where these little floof things attach all over tiny Anakin because he’s so strong in the Force and it’s god damn adorable how dare he?? I’d probably rate this one even higher if I read it again, but it’s been awhile. Characterization is spot on and reminiscent of Matthew Stover’s writing in how it highlights the strong bond between Obi-Wan and Anakin, how they’re fated to know each other. I’m a sucker for soulmates, what can I say?

9. Lost Stars reads like a movie. Not a script, but just the perfect amount of detail that you can imagine the scenes but the pacing is still quick, the dialogue smooth and natural. I couldn’t help wishing this was a film because the story was so all-encompassing. The highs and lows of the emotions of both protagonists, their relationship developing, the differences in culture. Folks, this book has it all! It’s a totally different perspective on the events of the original trilogy, seen from the side of Imperial cadets training to become pilots. Eventually, one splits off and joins the Rebellion while the other perseveres in the Empire. It’s like star-crossed lovers, but covers so much more ground than that. And the characters are fully developed. These original characters knocked my socks off, and that’s hard to do since I’m usually an Obi-Wan stan through and through. For anyone uncertain of reading Star Wars novels, this book is a great place to start. Action-packed, emotion-filled, and stands on its own despite weaving perfectly into the established universe. What more could you want?

10. Back at it again with the prequel shit, amiright? Queen’s Peril is E.K. Johnston’s most recent Padme-centric novel and it does not disappoint fans that wanted a taste of the Queen’s side of the story. Set during the events of The Phantom Menace, we get a “behind the curtain” look at how all of the handmaidens came to be more than their title suggests. There’s teenage girls getting stuff done! It makes more sense why Padme was elected ruler of her home-world, and you come to appreciate that a royal leader is not alone; there’s actually a whole team at her side to help her overcome everything from the drudgery of daily governing to Trade Federation blockades that threaten to starve her people. I think if you enjoyed Queen’s Shadow, you’ll enjoy this book a lot. For those that are unfamiliar with Johnston’s work, I wouldn’t recommend this one first because it does cover events you’ve already seen in movies and therefore is a less suspenseful companion to them. On the other hand, because it does tie in with TPM, it doesn’t suffer from the pacing issues of Queen’s Shadow to the same degree. I read this all in one sitting, so it’s definitely fun, but wasn’t compelling enough in its character development to elevate the book past some of the others I’ve listed already.

11. Thrawn: Treason was a refreshing return to the Grand Admiral we all know and love after the second installment in this series slowed things down a bit. Although it wasn’t as character-driven as the first book (which I love with all of my heart), there were still many moments that had me cackling at the disparity between Thrawn’s immense intellect and the other Imperials’ sheer stupidity, and that’s what we’re here for in a book about the Empire, right? There’s a lot of pressure on Thrawn, as his TIE Defender project has been pitted against Director Krennic’s Project Stardust. Who will get the funds? We just don’t know?? Tarkin sits in between the two and as usual, manipulates everything to his advantage. Palpatine questions Thrawn’s allegiance to the Empire after some of the choices he has made, leaving him in even more of a pickle. Thrawn is sent on a wild goose chase task that should definitely end in failure (on purpose because Imperials all want to watch each other burn as much as they want to watch the Rebellion burn), but you know Thrawn will find a way. My main squeeze Eli Vanto makes his return after being absent from book 2. Missed you, my sweet sweet country boy. He doesn’t have a leading role in this novel, but every scene he’s in makes the story better. Thrawn says “perhaps” way too often for my taste, but if you can ignore that, this book is a solid read. Equal parts action and deductive reasoning, as any Thrawn book should be.

12. Most of Dark Disciple had me thinking this was going to be a top tier book, and damn do I wish we could have gotten this animated. We follow Quinlan Vos and Asajj Ventress on a mission to assassinate Count Dooku. Why the Jedi thought this was a good idea, I don’t know. But I’m here for it all the same. 3/4 of the adventure were intriguing, but the ending didn’t do it for me. I won’t spoil things for anyone who hasn’t read this yet, but after all of the character development, to have it squandered so quickly just left me disappointed? I got really attached to everyone in this novel, and I’m sure you will to. I’ve read this and listened to it as an audiobook, and actually I think it’s more memorable as an audiobook. Would recommend, except for Mace Windu’s voice being exceptionally southern for no reason. Weird. I think this novel captures all of the great things about The Clone Wars show; time to really get to know each character and their motivations, action and adventure with the darkness of impending doom tinting everything, and lightsaber fights! Plus, Obi-Wan and Anakin make appearances in this book and it just adds that extra bit of spice. Worth the read, even if you know they aren’t going to get Dooku in the end (which I am still mad about, screw that guy).

Jedi Knight: Passed the Trials but There’s Room for Improvement

13. Few books in the Star Wars universe are centered around characters with no use of the Force, but in Most Wanted, we see a young Han Solo and Qi’ra struggling to survive on Corellia and it provides a humorous but compelling backstory to both characters in the Disney canon. Han is his usual lucky goofball self, and Qi’ra is smart and cunning. You can see how they grew into the versions of themselves in Solo. While the book stays on the lighter side of things (typical of stories written for a younger audience), there are still moments of depth on droid rights, viewing the Force as a religion, and what life is like in a crime syndicate. Addressing these heavier topics without it killing the pace of the story is hard to do, but Rae Carson pulls it off flawlessly. I went into this book with no expectations and was pleasantly surprised by how much fun I had. Han and Qi’ra start off as competitors, but eventually have to learn to work together to survive as more and more people start hunting them down. They’re honestly so cute together, I loved their dynamic. It makes Solo a better movie, and although I liked it on its own, characters like Qi’ra needed a little more time to get to know, which you can get here!

14. Thrawn Alliances was not what I expected at all, and it took me a lot longer to get through. Hell, it has Thrawn, Anakin/Vader, and Padme in it! What’s not to love? Apparently, a lot. The different timepoints and perspectives in this were more jarring than anything else. Although the interactions between Thrawn and Anakin/Vader were enjoyable, it was not enough to elevate this book into the Jedi Master tier. Things felt dry, the characters didn’t grip me like in the first Thrawn, and it all felt like a ploy to introduce Batuu into canon before the launch of Galaxy’s Edge.

15. Leia: Princess of Alderaan was a dive into young Leia’s life before we see her in A New Hope even though this was marketed as a journey to The Last Jedi book, which I disagree with. We really haven’t seen any content about Leia in this time period before, and although I can’t say I was looking for this, I did enjoy it. The book was a little long, but there was adventure and the seeds are planted for Leia to be a bigger part of the Rebellion. The romance wasn’t too memorable, but Holdo wasn’t pointless in this (a stark contrast to her brief appearance in TLJ just to sacrifice herself). There’s a hint about Leia being Force-sensitive but it’s not in-your-face. It’s a typical coming-of-age story but in the gffa. The best part about this is seeing Bail and Breha as parents. I’m forever in pain that we didn’t get to see more of this in movies because it’s so so sweet. Leia must choose what kind of person she is going to be--and what kind of princess she will become. It won’t be for everyone, but I liked it.

16. Master and Apprentice was a typical Star Wars novel, which means it’s full of original characters that are strange and outlandish to serve the plot, a new world full of beautiful landscapes, and Obi-Wan suffering. I want to make it clear that this book is 80% Qui-Gon, 10% Rael Averross, and 10% Obi-Wan. I was expecting it to be 50% Qui-Gon, 50% Obi-Wan, as the cover suggested. Although I was disappointed by that, the story overall was okay. Qui-Gon is kind of an asshole in this? When is he not, though. We really get to sink our teeth into the way he and Obi-Wan fundamentally disagree with each other, so much so that their teacher-student relationship is falling apart. Tragic! They go on one last mission before calling it quits. Qui-Gon is in over his head with prophecies, Obi-Wan just wants to follow the rules, and Rael Averross is Dooku’s previous apprentice that is living his best life as a regent until Pijal’s princess comes of age. Don’t get me wrong, it’s a solid book. I just don’t vibe with Qui-Gon and want to whack him upside the head every time he avoids confrontation with his own student. My protectiveness for Obi-Wan is showing again, isn’t it? Yikes.

17. James Luceno is one of the most analytical authors I’ve ever read anything from, but it seems to always work? Tarkin is all about...well, Moff Tarkin. He’s ruthless, intelligent, and just downright evil. His backstory was compelling and I found myself drawn into the story by the details, although it is dense and took awhile to finish. I’m not interested in him as a character, but despite that, I enjoyed this story. The plot wasn’t memorable enough for me to recall after 3 years, but it’s similar to how Thrawn rose through the ranks of the Navy, just in a different part of the Empire’s governing body. We don’t get many books completely focused on a villain (I don’t count Vader ones because we know who he was before and the whole damn saga is about him), but this one is good! Don’t be fooled by it only being in the Knight tier. I think people who read a lot of sci-fi will like this book a lot. This is like the opposite of Queen’s Shadow, basically. If you had gripes about that book, you might like this one instead.

18. Battlefront II: Inferno Squad was a worthwhile read for anyone who played Battlefront II. Iden Versio is a great protagonist in the game, and I think Christie Golden totally gets her character. She’s nuanced and relatable. The whole team is interesting and getting introduced to each member before the events of the game makes everything mean more. That’s the real goal of any prequel story, I think. Accomplished! The action scenes are on point, the plot served to highlight what makes Inferno Squad special, and you get a sense for the morally grey area anyone must function in as an operative for the Empire. Although not necessary for the greater canon, it’s a great adventure. Iden and her squad members infiltrate the remains of Saw Gerrara’s group (they’ve become a bit of extremist) and destroy them from the inside. It’s got the suspense of a spy thriller and all of the nerdy space opera elements you expect from Star Wars. Although it’s weird to jump into a story not knowing any of the characters, you’ll get attached to Inferno Squad fast. Well, except for Gideon Hask maybe. He’s kind of a dick.

19. If you’re craving some Dark Side action, Lords of the Sith will give you what you’re looking for. Sidious and Vader crash-land on Ryloth and have to work together to survive, and also defeat the Free Ryloth Movement led by Cham Syndulla. It’s all fucking connected, guys. I love when people weave together stories that fit into the canon timeline like this, bringing in side characters and allowing them to develop some depth. And a chance to sink into the mind of a Sith Lord is always fun, if you’re in the mood to read about destruction and anger. It’s cathartic sometimes. If you’re always wondering, why didn’t Vader just stab Palps when he had the chance, this book explains their dynamic more. It didn’t really change my opinion of any of the characters, which is why it’s not higher on the list.

20. Catalyst suffered from being in a really boring part of galactic history. Despite that, Galen Erso and Orson Krennic have a hilarious relationship that I would have loved to see on-screen. This book really develops Krennic to become more than just the whiny entitled evil man we saw in Rogue One. He’s ten times worse now! But I mean that in the best way, I laugh whenever he’s in a scene, that sassy man just brings me joy. James Luceno is at it again, making things as detailed and dry as possible. I read so many of his stories right at the beginning of my journey through Star Wars canon and it’s a wonder I didn’t quit. Some of them are dark as fuck. And also slow as hell. With this one, I think it all comes down to what you want out of a Star Wars novel. Some people will really enjoy the plot. I think seeing how Galen became a part of Project Stardust was interesting and every time something about the Death Star became more clear, I screeched because I knew what it would eventually become. This book may not hold your interest though, which is why I put it lower on this list.

21. Star Wars: Clone Wars was a decent retelling of the Clone Wars movie. I liked it because I liked the movie, but you have to be able to sit back and enjoy the ride, not thinking too much about the silly parts. For that reason, it’s pretty far down in the rankings. Ahsoka is young and liable to get on your nerves. I certainly wasn’t her biggest fan at this point in the series. The biggest problem is that Karen Traviss is very anti-Jedi. Some authors for Star Wars tend to do this? To me, it’s weird. I didn’t notice it too much because it was one of the first Star Wars books I read, but it contrasts starkly with the truth of the prequel trilogy and some of the other entries in the Clone Wars Novel timeline, like Karen Miller’s books. Needless to say, although this book wasn’t super memorable aside from the familiar plot, it kept me reading Star Wars books, and so it is at least an average book. Plus, any content with Anakin and the clones is worth it for me. I love them.

22. A New Hope was good, for Alan Dean Foster. I’m not a fan, I’ll be honest. But this novelization stands on it’s own. I’m going to have to do a re-read to really go in depth on why this isn’t farther up on the tier list, but the movie is always going to be better to me. If you want to re-live the great beginning of the Original Trilogy, it’s worth your time. I mean, the story is full of adventure and mystery and lovable characters. What’s not to love? I just feel like the movie really elevates the narrative with a great score and fun character design/costumes/sets.

Padawan: These Books Have Much to Learn

23. Attack of the Clones was more entertaining than The Phantom Menace because the characters are in funnier situations. Obi-Wan and Anakin chasing Zam Wesell through the levels of Coruscant? Hilarious, just like the movie. Anakin and Padme falling in love as they spend time together? Holy fuck it’s so much better than the movie. Please read it for that alone. Outside of that, the writing style didn’t really impress me. And my experience with it wasn’t super memorable. There was potential to really make the inner dialogue of these characters impactful, to really develop the story of Obi-Wan, Anakin, and Padme beyond what we could get from the movie scenes alone. I didn’t think it went above and beyond there. Not a bad story at all, but you don’t get to look at Hayden Christensen, Natalie Portman, or Ewan McGregor the whole time either, so therefore I must rank it lower. So many beautiful people in that movie, holy shit. You can understand my, dilemma, yes?

24. I enjoyed parts of The Phantom Menace book, like deleted scenes with Anakin living on Tatooine before Qui-Gon and Padme meet him. The additional depth is lovely, but I think a story like Queen’s Peril adds more to TPM than this book does. The story overall is still fun. I love this movie so much, it’s hard for me to be critical. I did put a lot of post-it flags in my copy, so it does develop the characters and get you thinking beyond your expectations from the movie. What more could you ask for from a movie novelization? I’d say not much, if I hadn’t read Revenge of the Sith and had my fucking mind blown. In comparison to that, this one is just okay.

25. The Last Jedi novelization wasn’t bad, necessarily. It tried its best to bring this story up to par with some of the interesting novels that don’t have movie counterparts. But still, the plot suffers because of how this movie was made. It’s very focused on Rey and Kylo, and Finn’s little adventure with Rose seems pointless in the grand scheme of things. I’d rather read this again versus watching the film, but that’s all I’ll say on this because I’m trying to keep my opinions on this movie to myself to avoid digging up old arguments. Jason Fry did well, and of the two Sequel Trilogy books I’ve read, I would recommend this one over Ep. 7.

26. The Force Awakens falls short and I think it’s because of Alan Dean Foster’s writing style on this one? It didn’t really expand on anything from the movie, while taking away the beautiful music and visuals. This novel is the antithesis of Revenge of the Sith’s novelization, and for that reason I ranked it fairly low. I wouldn’t read this one unless you really really love the Sequel Trilogy.

27. To be fair, I read the new Thrawn book before I went back and read this one. Even so, Heir to the Empire didn’t impress me at all. Thrawn didn’t seem like a thrilling villain with lots of depth like he did in Timothy Zahn’s reimagined Thrawn novel. We barely saw him. A lot of time was spent on the Original Triology’s trio, which waasn’t bad. I thought Luke, Leia, and Han were all written fairly well. The latter part of the story was redeemed by the interactions between Mara Jade and Luke, for sure. Enemies to lovers, anyone?? Without Thrawn, this book would have been an entertaining story, but for all of the praise it has received from long-time Star Wars fans, I was expecting to be blown away and I wasn’t. Maybe I have to continue the triology to figure out what all of the fuss is about, but after this one, I’m not super motivated to read more. Change my mind?

28. Cloak of Deception really shines when you’re following Palpatine’s perspective because you can feel the undercurrents of his master plan to destroy the Republic underneath his calm persona as a Senator. Other than that, it’s a forgettable plot. This is all about galactic politics and some terrorist group trying to blow up some government officials. Basically the most boring parts of the prequel trilogy. I listened to the audiobook of this at the beginning of this year and I already forget what it’s about. Qui-Gon and Obi-Wan should have been able to bring some humor and energy to get you rooting for the good guys, but there was barely any of that. I was disappointed in all of the characters. Everything felt distant, removed from the heart of the characters. Some people in reviews have argued that the events of The Phantom Menace really pinned this novel in a corner because you already know what happens, but I disagree, because we know how Revenge of the Sith goes and The Clone Wars show is that much more tragic and heartbreakingly beautiful because of it. Prequels can be done right. This ain’t it, Luceno. Sorry.

29. Star Wars: The Old Republic, Fatal Alliance needs to go home and rethink it’s life. I’m a huge fan of the Old Republic and I’ve put like 200 hours of my life into playing that game, so I was hoping for some fun content in this part of the timeline. Sadly, this book captured the worst parts of the game, like the fact that there’s way too many factions at war with each other. Jedi, Sith, Empire, Republic, Mandalorians. They’re all here. They’re all ready to throw down. And I’m tired. As with many of the books in this lower tier, I felt there wasn’t enough description of the world or the people in the story. We’re in the gffa, be a little weird and wacky. Be big and bold! Make things terrifying, or beautiful, or both. But give my mind something to work with. The number of characters made the plot messier than it could have been, and it definitely isn’t worth the read. I can’t speak for all Old Republic books, but this one didn’t impress me.

A Sith Lord?! On My Bookshelf? It’s More Likely Than You’d Think

30. So underwhelming, you might as well just read the first half and then stop. Last Shot is absolutely terrible, except for Lando Calrissian’s characterization, which was spot-on. If the whole story had been from his perspective, I probably would have a much difference opinion on the novel as a whole. Sadly, this is not the case. Han was boring, he bottled up his emotions, and seemed drastically different from the badass he was in the original trilogy. There are different timepoints in this novel, and in all of them, Han is unrecognizable. Don’t nerf one of your main characters like that. Daniel Jose Older and I might just not get along. I thought his writing style didn’t fit Star Wars at all. It was like breaking the fourth wall, totally pulling me out of the story constantly. Also, there were little to no descriptions of body language, locations, or movement. It left me feeling disoriented the whole time I was reading. I thought one of the most interesting things would have been seeing Han, Leia, and baby Ben being a family at this point in time, but Han’s family was there as a prop, nothing more. There was a big bad item that was going to cause galactic destruction and our heroes had to go save the day. There was barely any tension and no one lost an arm so I’m pretty pissed off. Is it Star Wars if no one gets their appendage removed? I can’t tell you how much I disliked this book. Which is sad because I was hoping to enjoy it. I like Han. I like Lando. I like space adventures. I’m not that hard to please, or at least I don’t think so.

#Star Wars Novels #tier ranking #long post #i worked hard to put my thoughts into words for you guys #i read these books over a long period of time but I thought I'd encompass all of it in one post #sw lit #i've had so much fun becoming a part of this fandom #and I love the conversations about the books and the gffa in general #hopefully this will inspire some discussion!#i would love you guys to make tier rankings as well #they're always my favorite youtube videos to watch

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i-am-bitterly-jittery · 3 years

Text

Simply Meant To Be (pt 2)

[Part 1]

You don’t need to read part 1 to read this one since that one is Roman backstory and this one is Janus backstory

Rating: teen

Word Count: 3456

Pairings: Remile, Moxiety kinda (they’re kids, but they’re soulmates so I guess it’s future moxiety), Roceit but only at the very end

Warnings: religion, religious cults, religious guilt, child abuse, internalized homophobia, childhood trauma, stalking, threats of kidnapping, throwing up, psychological warfare (?), paranoia, swearing

I think that’s everything

It’s worse than you’d expect after the first part, but not quite as bad as the warnings make it sound, but if any of the warnings make you uncomfortable then feel free to skip this part

I started with some religious stuff right off the bat, so I put the entire fic below the cut

~~~START~~~

When Janus was growing up, he was taught that the colorblindness that everyone was born with was a test from God. God created a beautiful world full of wonderful colors, then gave man the ability to view only a fraction of this beauty. The wicked ones searched selfishly for ways to see even more, but the humble ones were grateful for what little beauty they were given.

Soulmates were frowned upon in the Community. Janus was taught from a young age that soulmates were a trick, sent by Satan to lead people away from God. Even those who met their soulmates by accident were expelled from the Community.

As such, Janus never expected to see color — for a while he’d even dreaded the mere thought of it — so he taught himself to discern between shades of gray. He was very good at it, almost to the point that someone who could see color would be fooled into thinking Janus could too.

The Elders were not very pleased with this skill, and the Community as a whole was torn as to whether it was a sin or not. They said it was a reflection of his desire to see colors, of his desire to stray from God.

So Janus repented. He begged forgiveness and promised to abandon his skill. He was devoted to God and only God.

That was a lie of course, Janus prided himself on his ability to discern shades of gray, but he didn’t see why that had to be mutually exclusive to being devoted to God.

Pride was a sin, and so was lying, but they were lesser sins to the Community than soulmates and colors. God would forgive him.

He lived in the Community for twenty years, rarely leaving the town and when he did it was only for a few hours.

He carries a lot of baggage from those twenty years, but he’s doing his best to shoulder it, to not let it affect his relationships with those around him, to not let any of the Community’s teachings hurt his son.

Sometimes the little voice in the back of his head told him he was being selfish. Janus always silenced this voice with one thought: there’s nothing wrong with a little selfishness.

Janus started going to gay bars on Saturday nights to feed his selfishness. He was never looking for anything, he had a young son at home after all, but one time, he kissed a man — he threw up in the bathroom afterwards, but he still counted it as a victory.

There was a teenager that lived in the apartment next to Janus and Virgil’s first home outside the Community, and they were always willing to watch Virgil for a few hours, even if Janus couldn’t afford to pay them much. Elliot was Janus’ first friend outside of the Community, probably his first real friend ever.

Janus hit Virgil once. Virgil was about two and a half at the time, and he’d proudly told Janus that his favorite color was magenta — after the dog on Blue’s Clues — and Janus hadn’t even thought, he’d just slapped his own son across the face. In the Community, a slap on the face would be the least of a child’s concerns after saying such a thing, but this wasn’t the Community, and Janus was trying to be better than them. He’d been completely consumed by guilt before the tears even began forming in Virgil’s eyes.

“I’m so sorry baby!” Janus apologized, pulling Virgil in for a tight hug and rocking back and forth in a soothing motion. Virgil easily accepted the hug, and that only made Janus feel worse. Virgil trusted him completely, and he’d betrayed that trust. Janus was going to be better; he was going to do better. He was never going to hurt Virgil again. “I’m so sorry darling. You didn’t do anything wrong. It was all my fault; I shouldn’t have done that. I did a very bad thing, I’m sorry.”

“It’s okay daddy. I forgive you.” Janus’ heart broke even more; he didn’t deserve forgiveness. He didn’t deserve this child.

After Virgil went to bed that night, Janus searched the internet for therapists. Doctor Emile Picani came highly recommended, and after a brief email exchange, they agreed to help Janus, even though he couldn’t afford their usual rate.

Picani was an… interesting character. They made several strange statements then told him that they were references to cartoons that Janus had never even heard of. TVs in the Community weren’t for children to use, and Virgil was only two, he mostly just watched Blue’s Clues, Dora the Explorer, and Sesame Street. After telling Picani that, they changed their references accordingly, telling Janus that they had their own two-year-old at home, and they were more than familiar with the kind of shows Virgil was watching.

Picani didn’t think Janus was a bad person, which was a foreign thought for Janus, who was certain that he was going straight to Hell. They were good at finding ways to make the little voice in Janus’ head shut up. It took Janus a while to believe him, but it got a little easier every week.

Over the years, Emile became his friend, and Janus was grateful to have them every day.

Emile was the one who insisted that Janus let them throw a birthday party for Virgil’s 5th birthday. Birthday parties hadn’t been a thing in the Community, and even after he left, Janus mostly just celebrated Virgil’s birthday by getting him new clothes, a whole party was a completely foreign idea.

But Janus had said yes and agreed to bring Virgil over to Emile’s place the following Saturday. The party, he’d been told, would just be Emile, Emile’s husband Remy, and their son Patton. That was good, neither Janus nor Virgil were very good in crowds.

Of course, whether there was a crowd or not hardly mattered when Virgil had met Patton and informed Janus that “everything is prettier now!”, Janus had a panic attack either way.

Virgil can see colors! That isn’t allowed, they’ll take him away! He’s only five he needs me! They won’t let me keep him! This is all wrong!

“-five, six, seven. Out, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight. In, two, three, four. Hold, two, three, four, five, six, seven. Out, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight. Good. Are you with me, Jan?”

“Yes,” Janus croaked. He was in a different room now, with only Emile. Virgil was nowhere to be seen. “Where’s Virgil!?”

“Breath, Janus. Virgil is in the living room with Remy and Patton. Remy is teaching them all the different colors.”

“They’re going to take him away!”

“No one’s going to take him away. There is absolutely nothing wrong with him meeting his soulmate. Everything is going to be okay.”

“I don’t want to lose him.”

“You’re not going to lose him. You’re not in the Community, there’s no reason anyone will take him away.”

“I’m sorry,” Janus apologized, wiping at his tears. “I probably scared the kids.”

“Would you like a hug?” Janus nodded. That was one of the nice things about being friends with Emile, they gave great hugs and gave them freely. “Virgil was a little concerned about you, but Patton didn’t notice. Remy’s with them now, they’re okay. Do you want to go join them?”

“Not yet.”

“Alright.” Emile allowed them to sit in silence for a while before speaking up again. “I’m proud of you.”

“Why?” Janus asked miserably.

“Your son met his soulmate and you didn’t respond with anger, you didn’t repeat any of the Community’s teachings, it’s a big step for you.”

“It doesn't feel like a big step.”

“Well it is.” And that was that.

Ten minutes later Janus was feeling up to joining the others. Virgil climbed into Janus’s lap as soon as he sat down, and having his son in his arms did wonders as far as calming himself down went.

“This is my source material!” Virgil informed Patton and Remy happily. Patton accepted that information easily, but Remy shot Janus a bemused look.

Janus shrugged in return. As soon as Virgil had started getting anywhere near being able to speak, Elliot started teaching him weird phrases in the hope that Virgil’s first word would be strange, some of them stuck.

Virgil started babbling after that, telling Janus about how ‘Mr. Remy’ was teaching him about colors and soulmates. Internally, Janus was grateful that someone else had given Virgil the soulmate talk, someone who hadn’t grown up with a cynical and toxic view of soulmates.

Other than the hiccup at the beginning, Virgil’s birthday party went pretty well. Patton was a very nice boy — though he’d have to be considering he was Emile’s kid — and Janus truly couldn’t have picked a better soulmate for Virgil if he tried. Patton seemed to have an absurd amount of emotional intelligence for a not-yet five-year-old, and when Virgil starts fatiguing towards the end of the night, Patton’s energy level changes appropriately.

Janus headed home that night with a sleeping child, two new stuffed animals — one of Blue and one of Magenta — a box of Playdough, a Sesame Street coloring book with crayons — a last minute addition thrown in because of Virgil’s newfound colors — and newfound sense of peace. His son met his soulmate and nothing bad had happened.

Play dates became a regular thing, and Janus was glad his son would already have one friend going into kindergarten in the fall. One of the kids’ favorite things to do during play dates was painting, and as a result, Janus found himself using his skill to baffle Remy with his ability to paint everything the correct color, even when Remy tried to trick him. Painting, however, was not particularly fun to Janus in and of itself, and wasn’t something he partook in when he and Virgil were at home.

Remy was actually the one to suggest a different medium for Janus: makeup. Remy even allowed Janus to use him as a canvas, and Janus’ skills on a living canvas soon flourished. Often he would sit down to practice on Remy, and Virgil and Patton would do the same with Emile. Janus’ work would of course look a lot better in the end, but Emile vehemently claimed to love both looks equally.

Eventually Janus started a YouTube channel dedicated to makeup tutorials. He always used Remy or Emile as models, appearing himself with contacts and half his face painted to look like a snake, hoping that was enough to obscure his identity in case anyone in the Community ever came across his channel.

His channel became fairly popular, not enough for Janus to make a living from that alone, but he did make enough from the channel for it to pay for itself. He could afford better makeup brands, which meant he could make cooler designs, which made his channel more popular. It was going well.

Until his mother showed up on his doorstep one day, nearly a decade since he’d last seen her.

“Janus.”

“Mother.” He didn’t have anything to say to her. Not a thing. Ten years and he hadn’t once felt the need to reach out to her.

“When are you going to stop this silly game and come home, Janus? We miss you, and this is no environment to raise Virgil in.” She gestured to Janus’ apartment, and Janus’ blood began to boil.

“Well excuse me for not meeting your standards, mother, but as I recall, it wasn’t my choice to leave in the first place!”

“If this is about Emmaline-”

“It’s not just about Emmaline! Virgil and I are perfectly happy where we are, and I’m not about to go exposing him to your toxic-”

“TOXIC!? Janus Lysander Hadley you take that back this instant! I will not have you speaking about our faith that way!”

“It’s not my faith, mother, it’s yours, and it has no place in my home!”

He should have been expecting the slap, it was a common way for his mother to respond to anyone disagreeing with her, but it had been so long, the sharp sting on his cheek came as a complete surprise.

“Step aside, Janus, I’m taking Virgil home whether you’re coming or not. You’re clearly not fit to raise a child.”

Her trying to push past Janus and into his apartment shook Janus out of his shocked stupor and he blocked her advance.

“You’ve never been fit to raise a child in your life!” He hissed, pushing her away from the door. “Now kindly fuck off, mother, you aren’t welcome here!”

He slammed the door on her shocked face, and quickly locked the door, locked the deadbolt, and slid the door chain in place. As soon as the door was thoroughly locked, his mother started pounding on the door, the gravity of the situation sunk in, and his panic started mounting.

His mother found him. She knew where he lived. She wanted to take Virgil from him. He yelled at his mother. She knew where he lived. He made her angry. She wanted to take Virgil from him. She knew where he lived!

“Sperm donor?”

His son’s voice snapped him out of his spiraling thoughts. Virgil was peeking out from behind the partition for the living room, where he wouldn’t have been visible from the door. He was clearly scared, because of course he was, his father had just had a screaming match with a woman he probably didn’t recognize outside their apartment, and said woman was proceeding to yelling abuse through the apartment door. It had to have more than a little unsettling for the ten-year-old.

“It’s okay, mini me, everything’s going to be fine.” Janus crossed the room to pull his son into a hug. Virgil latched on to him immediately, shaking from stress.

“I don’t want to go with her,” Virgil mumbled into Janus’s sweater. “She’s mean.”

“You don’t have to.” Janus tightened his arms around his son protectively. “You’re staying with me.”

Janus’ mother stopped pounding on the door eventually — presumably because one of the neighbors either threatened to call the police, or actually called the police — but Janus and Virgil’s nerves were both shot for the rest of the day, and they both ended up spending the night at the Picanis’.

Janus didn’t see hide nor hair of his mother for weeks after the incident, but his paranoia levels were through the roof. He wouldn’t let Virgil be home alone anymore, instead having him go home with Patton after school, staying at the Picanis’ until Janus could pick him up. Every day when he got home he would search their apartment for anything out of place that would suggest that someone broke in, he even went as far as constructing minor booby traps for anyone who tried to root around through their things.

“Janus — I’m saying this as your friend, and as a mental health professional — I’m concerned about you,” Emile told him one day when he came to pick up Virgil from their house. “You’ve been on edge for weeks, it’s not healthy, for you or for Virgil. He told me he’s been having nightmares, you know.”

“I know, I know! But I don’t know what to do!” Janus stressed, he was dangerously close to his breaking point, but he didn’t know how to stop it.

“Have you considered moving?” Emile asked gently. “It’s clear you don’t feel safe here, maybe putting some more distance between you and your parents will ease your distress.”

“I can’t move; you guys live here. I can’t just take Virgil away from Patton, he’d be devastated.”

“I’m not saying move to Antarctica and become a hermit, we can visit, and Patton and Virgil can Skype. Yeah, it’ll be hard and both of them, but this is hard on them too. Janus, I think it’s important for you to feel safe in your own home, and you obviously don’t.”

“I don’t know…”

But a week later, Janus would be pushed over the edge.

He came home from work — thankfully before picking Virgil up — to find his apartment door wide open. Cautiously, he searched the apartment for any intruders, but after twenty minutes he was confident that no one was around.

There were a few things missing, mostly all of Virgil’s crayons and colored pencils, as well as his coloring books and some of the drawings he’d made that Janus had put on the fridge. There were also a few photos of Janus and Virgil missing from their frames, and a tile with Virgil’s baby handprint missing from the kitchen. And three of Janus’ booby traps had been sprung telling him that whomever broke into his apartment — presumably his mother — had opened the hall closet, the cabinet next to the fridge, and the medicine cabinet in the bathroom.

As if that was bad enough, there, in plain sight on the dining room table was a copy of the Community’s version of the Bible.

“We have to move.” Janus wasn’t sure how he ended up at the Picanis’; everything after finding the bible had been a panicked blur. All he knew was that he couldn’t stay at that apartment anymore.

Moving was hard. Virgil didn’t like it, but he was afraid of their apartment too, and if Janus and Virgil just moved in with the Picanis — which Remy had suggested — then Janus’ parents would just start terrorizing them too, and Janus couldn’t have that. No, it was better that he and Virgil move away, not just to a new apartment, but to a new city, a new state even! Somewhere his parents wouldn’t find him or Virgil.

They ended up moving to Florida, halfway across the country. Remy had a cousin in Florida, one that he swore up and down that Janus would love, and moving somewhere where he sort of knew someone was better than starting over from scratch a second time.

Remy and Patton came with them to help them move and to allow Patton and Virgil to spend as much time together as they could. Emile stayed behind since they couldn’t reschedule all their appointments on such short notice. Emile did suggest a new therapist near Janus’ new home, and included a suggestion for Virgil too.

Having Remy around for the moving process was good because he was able to parcel things out in ways that didn’t make Janus feel overwhelmed with the amount of work that went into moving. Having Patton around for the moving process was good because when all Virgil could see were negatives, Patton pointed out the positives and had a way of making Virgil begrudgingly agree to them.

Part of the moving process was for Janus to change his and Virgil’s name in the hopes of throwing his parents off their scent. Since Virgil was taking the move so hard, Janus let him pick their new last name to make him feel better. Of course Virgil was beginning to enter his emo-pre-teen-angst phase, so he picked a name that was edgy and extra: Storm.

Janus Storm.

He sounded like a supervillain, but it made Virgil happy, and he could never resist anything that made Virgil happy.

Before Remy and Patton went home, Remy introduced Janus and Virgil to his cousin: Thomas Sanders. Thomas owned a theater in town, and offered to let Janus use him as a model for his YouTube videos. He was alright; Virgil seemed to like him well enough, and Janus trusted Virgil’s instincts on these kinds of things.

It was a teary goodbye when Remy and Patton went home, and Virgil refused to speak for the rest of the day, but once their plane touched down, Patton called on Remy’s phone, so maybe the distance wouldn’t be too bad.

The Picanis came to visit for Virgil’s eleventh birthday since it occurred during Patton’s winter break. They ended up staying for almost a week.

Almost a year after Janus and Virgil moved to Florida, Thomas called Janus to tell him that the makeup artist at his theater quit, and that the job was Janus’ if he wanted it.

Taking that job turned out to be the best decision of his life.

“I’m Roman.”

The moment Janus had been dreading since he was a child was finally happening. The moment Janus had learned to be cautiously optimistic about was finally happening.

Slowly, as though someone were carefully turning up the volume on a speaker, the monochrome world around Janus began to change, and he finally understood what Virgil meant by ‘everything is prettier’, because it was. It was wonderful and terrifying all at once.

“Janus.”

~~~END~~~

Janus’ backstory wasn’t supposed to be quite this angsty but ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ here we are. It’s probably never going to get this heavy again

Let me know if I forgot to tag anything or put anything in the warnings

taglist:

@royalty-of-all-things-snuggly @pixelated-pineapple @northlight14 @mistythegenderqueermess @bluerosesbleedred @sevencrashing @awkwardjester @everythingisstardust

400 followers!! Thank you all 💜💜💜

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melloian · 3 years

Text

Character Bio 3

Chloé Bourgeois

Age: 14

Gender: F

Race: French

Species: Human

Alignment: Neutral

Status: Alive

Relatives: Andre (father), Audrey (mother)

Occupation: Student (Françoise Dupont Lycée) and Superhero

Love interest: Adrien, Felix (small crush)

Friends: Sabrina, Marinette, Oriane, Adrien, Honey dew-dripsu, Alya (later on), Valery (later on)

Enemies: Lila, Hawk moth, marayua, Pretty much every villain, Aurorae, Marinette (formerly)

Before Personality: Selfish, Rude, forgetful, Bossy, impatient, Complaintive, Moralistic, insensitive, extrovert

After Personality: Emotional, compassionate, semi-forgetful, patient, Considerate, determined, extrovert

Bio: Chloe is a teenage girl who attends at Françoise Dupont Lycée. She intends to bully people and treat Sabrina as a slave. She usually judge people on how they look and she always want everything to be in perfect quality. If things don’t go her way, she usually call her father. However, deep down she wants friends and can’t express her true feelings. Later on, she pretty much changed her ways, hoping she gets more friends later. At the same time, she now a hero, whose known as queen bee.

Backstory/Childhood: When Chloe was born, her mother didn’t want much for her. As Chloe grew older, her parents usually neglect her. When she often cry, her father just gives her what she wants, which spoiled her. When she turned 9, she drew a picture of her mom and gave it her to her. Her mother didn’t care for the picture and thought it was just trash so she crumpled up her paper, and then throw it in the trash. This upsets her and caused to cry on her father. However, the father did nothing about it. Her mother yelled at her crying which caused her to stop crying. When she was 12, Chloe wanted love from both her parents, so she decided to copy off her mother and try to impress her. But her mother could care less what she does. Her mother also wanted her to act in a certain emotion for her modelling fame. She only followed because she just wanted to be loved.

As Queen Bee (Queen Form)

Altered personality: Determined, skeptical, compassionate, patient, Appreciative

Flight

Fast

Low Durability

Flexibility

Bee Swarm - Summon unlimited amount of bee at a opponent

Honey Gaze - shoots honey like lasers sometimes traps the target.

Honey Dip - Summon honey from floor

Assistance - Summon bigger bee servants which can do more then a normal one. Can only have 4.

Pollenate - Summon pollen like mist

Nectar creation - create anything out of nectar. (cannot make technology like stuff or things that can move)

Nectar Ball - Trap targets inside a ball.

Zoned - De-akumanize a person and prevent them from being akumantized for an current time

Nectaur-ize - clean all the damage and reserve the effects

Fighter - switches to warrior form

Main Ability

Nectuary - Summon a medium sized honey hive and use it an bomb

Weapon: HoneyComb wand

As Queen Bee (Queen Warrior Form)

High Durability

She cannot use her queen form abilities during this form.

Slina - Sends a green pollen which makes the opponent hallucinate or fall asleep.’

Zoned - De-akumanize a person and prevent them from being akumantized for an current time

Nectaur-ize - clean all the damage and reserve the effects

Rulership - switches to queen form

Main Ability

Venom - summon a stinger on hand and poison the opponent. can be used for destroying things as well

Weapon: Stinger Sword

As Rosa-Bell

(its a post to be a horse but i left out the ears since it didn’t fit right)

Altered personality: determined, confident, clever, cheerful, Steady

Very Fast

High Durability

Flexibility

High Jump

High Strength

Kick-so: Summons invisibles kicks to the opponent

Steamin’ rope - creates a infinite long rope that can used to catch opponent. It can also be heaten up

HorseHeel - Creates molten like horseshoes boomerangs.

Jack Luck - When call upon, this either give the user bad luck (if failed) or good luck.

Burin’: Makes the user’s shoes hot making things burn under them (if under weak material)

Carri - Put an item inside a infinite pocket storage

Saddle down - De-akumanize a person and prevent them from being akumantized for an current time.

Backin’ - clean all the damage and reserve the effects

Main ability

TimeDash - Make the user go extremely fast to the point it stops time under 40 seconds.

Weapon: revolver & horseshoe (boomerang)

As Nereid

Altered personality: Mischief, emotional, deceptive, patient, Venturesome

Very Fast

Med Durability

Flexibility

Song of Beauty - Sings a song which lures your opponent

Song of Brain - Sings a song that controls a living thing.

Song of dreams - Sings a song that causes a person to fall asleep

Songs of drizzly - same like dreams expect the person hallucinate instead

Weathery - changes the current weather or season

Song of friendship - sings a song that causes sea animals to come and serve the person

Water tunnel - summon a water portal that sends the person to an ocean area.

can change to have mermaid tail

Terrifor - turns the user into a fish-like beast

Song of distress - sings a song that gives a opponent a curse

Whale Hollow - De-akumanize a person and prevent them from being akumantized for an current time.

Sparkling water - clean all the damage and reserve the effects

Main ability

Raging Waters - Summon a huge hurricane or flood towards the opponent, but it will cause damage around the city

Weapon: Conch & Trident (when on water)

Rallyram (akumantized form)

Altered personality: aggressive, abrasive, selfish, rude, confident, tough, unfair

Cause of akumantization: Marinette stood up for herself which causes her to become very angry

Goal: To fight marinette

akumantized object: pencil

Fast

High Strength

Can break hard material

Skilled fighter

Carries a Rope

Able to boost up there horns (turning them blue) and run faster

ShardedOrbs (akumantized form)

Altered personality: emotionless and have no personality..

Cause of akumantization: Her mother calling her a statue and made her act like statue to humiliate her

goal: ruin her mother’s modelling job.

akumantized object: necklace

Fast

Summons Shards

Can turn some one into a crystal statue

Can drill holes

Teleportation (but it contains energy)

Lasers

Relationships (Main ones)

Chloe & Marinette

Chloe and Marinette were enemies. Chloe usually come and bully Marinette. She even judged her skills and talent. She didn’t really cared how she felt. Later on, Chloe decided to treat Marinette better. She also apologize to what she have done. She was more then happy when Marinette accepted her apology.

Chloe is a big fan of ladybug. She pretty much see her as idol.

Chloe & Adrien

Chloe and Adrien met since highschool. They basically are friends. Chloe had soon developed a crush for Adrien. She will try to give him stuff and do things what he asked for. Later she acts less aggressively towards him.

Chloe is fan of chat noir.

Chloe & Sabrina

Chloe and Sabrina met in highschool. Sabrina basically follows chloe everywhere and copy her personality. Chloe pretty much treats her like a slave. She uses her to do certain things for, even when she’s tired. Later on, chloe started to treat Sabrina more of a friend then slave.

Chloe & Lila

Chloe met lila when Lila was trying to ruin Marinette's reputation. Chloe wanted to stop lila completely, which caused a fight. Even since, Lila and Chloe despise each other.

Chloe & Honey-dewdripsu

Chloe and Honey-Dewdripsu usually get along very well. Honey usually help with Chloe's emotions and other. They usually gossip.

Full Body

As an Kid

Other information

She was a huge fan of beautstuna

She wanted to be a model, but she doesn’t really like the job

She doesn’t really celebrate her birthday, neither mentions it

She owns her own private jet, which was brought by her father

Due to neglection, she only rely on her maids and butlers.

She wonders how it feels like to not be in a rich family

sorry for rushed art, i was getting tired..

#chloe bourgeois #miraculous chloe #miraculous au #miraclous ladybug #ml #miraclous pollen #miraculous adrien #miraculous marinette #miraculous sabrina #miraculous lila #lila rossi #miraculous ladybug reboot #ml reboot

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jess-rewatches-prodigalson · 3 years

Text

Killabustas (S2, E9)

My time-stamped thoughts for this episode are below. As always I reference Malcolm’s mental health. A lot. So if that’s going to be a trigger for you, don’t keep reading.

SPOILERS AHEAD:

0:00 - Are the birds flying past Malcolm’s apartment supposed to be an omen for the rest of the season? Or just some foreshadowing for the bird-heavy episode? .....I’m probably reading wayyy too much into this.

0:12 - Ugh. Someone give this sweet cinnamon roll a hug. He’s spiralling. He is so close to having a total mental breakdown and it breaks my heart. (but like, I also want to see it because emotional whump is my favourite).

0:23 - “How can I trust you? I know what you did.” This. This is what’s killing Malcolm. The fear that if Gil, Dani, JT, and Edrisa find out what he did for Ainsley they won’t trust him. He’s afraid they’ll abandon him. He’s afraid that they’ll hate him as much as he already hates himself. ISTG the moment they all find out (or tell Malcolm what they suspect) Malcolm will break. That will be the metaphorical straw that breaks the camel’s back.

0:34 - Anyone else think Malcolm looks completely adorable (yet super sad and scared) when he’s focusing on painting? <3

0:45 - “Why must everything you paint have an exit wound?” I love that this suggests that this isn’t the first mother-son painting session. <3 hahaha

0:47 - “It’s a pear.” It’s heartbreaking that Malcolm didn’t even realize that his pear was bleeding. C’mon Jessica, it’s time for an intervention. Malcolm is breaking in front of you. DO SOMETHING.

1:01 - NO. DAMN IT FEDAK. I wanted to see Malcolm’s reaction when Jessica told him she was writing a memoir. I wanted to see it so badly. I wanted to see him panic about the fact that she was inevitably going to disclose information about his childhood that he’d rather not have public.

1:09 - “How much worse you really are.” OOOOOOOOOOHHHH SHIT. I can’t believe he said that to his Mother’s face. hahahaha OMG. Malcolm is a little shit head and I love him. Well, at least I know he’s upset about the fact that she’s writing this book. His jab at Jessica proves that much.

1:42 - Is Malcolm playing matchmaker here? hahaha or is he just trying to get Jessica out of his loft ASAP?

1:53 - “Why didn’t they call me?!?” Can you hear the sound of my heart breaking? I understand why they didn’t call him in on this one BUT it’s not helping Malcolm’s mental health. On top of the fear that he is becoming his father, the stress of covering up a murder, the fear that his sister is going to become a serial killer, his childhood trauma, and usual mental health issues - Malcolm is afraid he’s going to be abandoned if the team finds out about Endicott. This is reinforcing those fears.

1:55 - “Where should I start?” At least Jessica can see how much pain Malcolm is in. I wish she’d do something constructive about it.

2:00 - “Forget to call someone?” Something about the way Malcolm waltzes into the frame and delivers that line is super endearing. He’s like a little kid running after his older siblings and their friends when they tried to go to the mall without him. <3

2:05 - Why the hell didn’t Gil just pull a 1x12 on Malcolm and insist Malcolm take a holiday? Hell - he could’ve gotten Jessica to enforce it. The fact that Gil is being super distant with Malcolm is not helping Malcolm’s very fragile mental health. GIL I’M DISAPPOINTED IN YOU (and I have been all season....) :(

2:12 - “Trauma’s my middle name.” Okay so 1) what is Malcolm’s middle name? If it’s Martin please tell me he changed it when he changed his last name. 2) At least we got a small papa!Gil moment this episode. <3

2:26 - “Fine.” This is Gil terrified. Remember what Gil said in 1x12? “He was losing it. I mean, I could see that. But I was afraid that I’d lose him.” That’s why Gil is letting Malcolm on this case. He knows Malcolm is losing it and he’s terrified of what Malcolm might do to himself with time on his hands. Gil doesn’t think Malcolm should be working but he knows it’s the only thing he can do to help Malcolm in the short term.

2:42 - hahahaha Gil’s taken-aback look when Malcolm starts not-so-subtly being a member of the Gillica fan club. hahaha <3

3:00 - Okay. I’m done. Edrisa can’t still think she and Malcolm might happen. I can’t handle this blantant one-sided worship anymore and I’m so glad it’s ending this episode (I hope).

3:07 - “and also, you’re bleeding.” <3 JT looking out for Bright. <3

3:12 - “Oh. I thought that this was your hobby?” <3 Dani teasing Bright. <3 I love that Dani, Edrisa, and JT are at least giving Malcolm some positive attention right now. It’s good for his fragile mental state. <3

3:40 - The directing is really good this episode. I’m not usually a person who notices that kind of thing but DAMN.

“It’s an expression of power and control.” “Sounds like someone with serious anger issues.” Yikes. Why do the ‘cases of the week’ always relate back to Malcolm’s current mental health crisis?!? Malcolm dismembered a body (for Ainsley but still). Now he’s profiling that the act of dismembering a body is an expression of power and control. That reinforces his fear that he’s becoming like Martin. Dani’s distaste and offhanded comment about anger issues won’t help Malcolm’s very real fear of abandonment. Hell, it’s compounding his fears that he’s like his father - the man obsessed with power and control who has a nasty temper when things don’t go his way.

4:09 - “Our killer derived pleasure from this.” Dani looks terrified when Malcolm says this. Is it just because she thinks this is a gross and scary murder scene? Or is it because she’s connecting the Malcolm+Endicott dots?

4:11 - “budding homicidal psychopath” is this supposed to be foreshadowing that Malcolm is becoming a psychopath? The writers have been suggesting that Malcolm enjoyed cutting up the body all season. .....and I don’t want the story to go that way. Please no.

4:15 - “I think I just became a vegetarian.” hahahaha JT is my hero. I love this dude and his dry but humorous comments.

4:26 - Once again - I can’t rewatch the Martin+Capshaw scenes. Once was more than enough. My basic thoughts on this particular scene? Capshaw and Martin are both gross. I think Martin is desperate for physical contact and Capshaw knows it. I think Capshaw is manipulating Martin (why is a mystery to me). I also think Martin is manipulating Capshaw so he can use her to help him escape.....I do however think Martin is a heterosexual male who is full of lust and physical desires. (which is really gross to me - a sex-repulsed asexual).

6:22 - I have a serious love-hate relationship with this scene. On one hand, Gil is clearly so so so concerned about Malcolm here and it warms my cold dead heart. On the other hand, the fact that he sends Dani to talk to Malcolm instead of just talking to Malcolm himself kind of pisses me off. Gil’s been really distant with Malcolm all season and it’s killing me. BUT I also kind of understand why Gil is passing off Malcolm to Dani (I don’t agree with it but I digress). All season the writers have been pushing the Brightwell relationship. We’ve seen a lot of really good meaningful conversations between Dani and Malcolm. At this point in time, it appears that Malcolm is willing to open up to Dani more than anyone else. Think about it. Even in season 1 - Malcolm never really opened up to Gil about his mental health. Gil knows that Malcolm won’t talk about his mental health with him - so he’s sending in the expert (Dani). I’m not happy about this but I kind of get it.

6:39 - OMG. Malcolm excitedly sliding into the room is the cutest thing I’ve ever seen. <3

6:44 - “What are you guys talking about?” “You.” Exhibit A. If Malcolm had just responded with “what? why?” or Gil had followed up his statement with “we’re worried about you” we could’ve had a meaningful conversation about Malcolm’s mental health. Right. Here. BUT Malcolm knows why they’re talking about him. Malcolm is deflecting. He doesn’t want to talk about this with Gil. So he rolls his eyes and walks away. Gil shouldn’t have let Malcolm off the hook so easily. :(

7:36 - “There’s a special place in hell for people who hurt birds.” Ugh. I just want to hug this little cinnamon roll. <3

7:55 - “Where’d this murder board come from?” hahahaha I love how JT’s constant mood is “I work with crazy people”.

8:07 - “You’re a web sleuth.” I love that JT somehow manages to get across that he thinks Edrisa is a complete weirdo but he respects the hell out of her. Also - the fact that JT teases the people he loves is so cute to me.

8:31 - “Ouf.” This was funny but it also felt a little ooc? Like wouldn’t Gil just cross his arms and say “Edrisa” as a gentle but stern warning?

8:53 - Does Edrisa have no filter or do people really think about sex this often? As an asexual, I’m genuinely asking.

8:55 - I love how uncomfortable Gil and JT get every time Edrisa starts talking about sex and/or reproductive anatomy. hahaha

9:37 - Did Martin ever kill animals? As a teenager maybe?

9:47 - “They have all the control over this cages, seemingly inferior creature.” ....is this supposed to be a subtle reference to the Martin/Capshaw thing? Capshaw being the killer and Martin being the inferior animal she’s controlling?

10:15 - Nope. I’m out. Can’t do it. So gross.

11:00 - “It’s super gross.” Malcolm is all of us.

11:08 - Soooo is Martin fantasizing about killing Capshaw after they do sexy things (hopefully consensual ones)?

11:52 - “Oh I’m already crazy.” This is somehow adorable and completely heart shattering. Malcolm is hiding his pain behind humour but he genuinely believes that he’s crazy. :(

12:00 - Is this the only conversation Malcolm and Edrisa have ever had without Edrisa hero-worshiping Malcolm?......I like it?!?! These two are total weirdos and should definitely be besties.

13:14 - Damn. Edrisa is shining in this episode. <3 <3

13:33 - “No. You won’t” hahaha JT being the team big brother is so cute.

13:46 - “You coming?” Malcolm is so soft here. <3 <3

14:00 - I love everything about this scene. I love how Dani opens up to Bright - even though it’s clearly still painful for her to talk about. I love how attentive and caring Malcolm is. I love how in character they both are. Malcolm is trying to deflect his problems. I love how Malcolm is 100% aware that Dani doesn’t believe his “I’m fine” bs. Dani is trying to get him to open up by sharing some of her own demons with him. Dani looks upset and worried that Malcolm won’t open up - but not surprised.

15:00 - “I pulled a Bright.” hahahaha OMG. I love that Dani and Malcolm don’t question this expression at all. It suggests that the team has used the phrase “pulling a Bright” before and I am here for it.

15:27 - This is what I call ‘passively suicidal’. Yes, Malcolm jumps in front of that car because he thinks it will help him solve the case. Yes, it’s technically an action motivated by the will to live. HOWEVER, he doesn’t move out of the way when Dani tells him to. That car is driving slowly. He doesn’t move. Because he’s in a mental state where he doesn’t care if he lives or dies. He has moments when he cares about life (like solving a case) but those just aren’t enough anymore. Yes, he looks a little alarmed when the car approaches him - but I honestly doubt Malcolm is frozen in fear.

15:56 - “You had the right of way. He can’t sue.” Holy shit. First of all - I immediately think Ashton is a douche. Secondly - is this how America works?!?! In Canada we teach our drivers that the ‘pedestrian always has the right of way’.

16:11 - “My super close friends from online.” Honestly - I feel called out. This is how I must sound when mention my internet friends to my family.

16:25 - Sooooo we’re all in agreement right? The fact that Malcolm has hit the left side of his head without medical treatment this many times = 1) mental breakdown sometime before the end of the season or 2) a way to get him out of taking the fall for Endicott.

16:38 - *sigh* can someone please hug this man!?!? He just can’t catch a break. This whole conversation between Malcolm and hallucination!Martin is heartbreaking. It shows that on some level even Malcolm knows he’s going to break soon because his mental health is in tatters.

17:23 - “She’s not like the others.” Who are the ‘others’? Are these the other people that Malcolm’s had a romantic interest in? Are ‘others’ friends from Malcolm’s past? Or are the others Gil, Edrisa, and JT?

17:34 - Ugh. Floppy haired. Bruised. Sad. My whump heart is so full.

17:56 - Does Malcolm not go on the internet? He didn’t know what a sock puppet is? (granted, I’m 24 and I didn’t know either).

18:04 - The firefighter’s name is BLAZE (Blaise)?!? Are you kidding me?

18:24 - “No. No, it isn’t.” Damn. JT is worried about Malcolm. Just look at him.

18:51 - Do I think it’s weird that this dude is so openly flirting with Edrisa in the middle of a police questioning?!? HELL YES. Do I think it’s weird that Edrisa’s allowed in the questioning??!!? HELL YES. Am I glad they’re giving Edrisa a love interest who isn’t Malcolm? OH HELL YES. ....also Edrisa and Blaze are kind of cute? Like they’re both weirdos and they’re both into each other so ...?!!?

19:47 - Wow. This whole “Killabustas police interrogation” scene is painfully hard to rewatch. Like - the dialogue makes absolutely no logical sense but it had to be there for the plot? Everything is just too convenient. The pamphlets. The fact that these members were all so quick to meet IRL. The fact that these dudes were able to track Alex down so quickly....I mean....who is buying this nonsense?!?!

20:05 - Ugh my asexual ass can’t handle the amount of horny people in this episode.

20:18 - Anyone else think it’s strange that Gil referred to Malcolm as “Bright” to Jessica?!? I mean, Jessica is Malcolm’s mother. PLUS it feels like Gil is trying to emotionally distance himself from Malcolm?!?

20:24 - “Remind me to take Malcolm out of my will.” hahahahaha OMG. I love Jessica so much.

20:44 - These Jessica/Gil scenes were a highlight of the episode for me. They’re just so cute. I love how supportive Gil is. I love how Jessica isn’t repressing her feelings with booze during this episode. I love how open about her insecurities Jessica is with Gil. I love how happy they both look. <3 <3 <3 <3

21:24 - “Some still do.” YES!!!! YES!!!! Keep flirting Gil!!! Don’t give up on her!!! <3 <3

21:45 - Holy shit. How much does Edrisa get paid?!?! This is a rich person apartment. I’m shook.

23:05 - Again. I must fast forward through the nasty romantic manipulation that is the Capshaw+Martin scene. The sexual tension made me nauseous the first time. But I WILL say that I think the black guard in this scene - Mr. Benjamin will be the dude Martin maims next episode (from the previews) - not Mr. David. Either that or the black patient in the room.

25:25 - “Watch out. I bite.” ........I have no words. My asexual ass is shocked, disgusted, and .....kind of proud of Edrisa for going after what she wants (even if she’s super crass about it).

26:03 - “That’s a seriously twisted mind.” “Sure. The kind I get.” This whole scene is heartbreaking. I honestly can’t tell if Malcolm is projecting himself, Ainsley, or both of them onto the suspect. “He killed for attention” - sounds like Ainsley to me. “Alex was going to out him to the group” ......HOLY SHIT. Does this mean Ainsley’s going to try and kill Malcolm and/or Jessica because she think’s they’ll rat her out?!?!?! “It’s about preserving the group. The Vulture needs them.” - That sounds like Malcolm to me. Malcolm doesn’t want to tell the team about Ainsley because he needs them and he’s scared they’ll abandon him if they find out about Ainsley.

27:10 - I’m getting secondhand embarrassment from the west coast of Canada.

27:21 - “Our killer would never order take out.” Weak, Malcolm. Weak excuse.

27:40 - annnnnndd this scene was a hard skip for me. I can’t watch Martin and Capshaw prepare to do sexy things. Nope. ALTHOUGH, I will say: Capshaw’s story about how she ended up in Claremont is interesting. Whether it’s true or not is debatable but it definitely shows that Capshaw is manipulative and creepy like Martin. I have a very strong feeling that Capshaw is a psychopath, serial killer, or sociopath.

31:00 - Edrisa checking out Malcolm’s loft is everything I dreamed it would be. The fact that she’s clearly in awe of his weapons collection. The fact that she has no regard for his privacy and just starts going through his fridge and sleeping area. The fact that she so openly comments and judges the stuff in his loft (ie. restraints on the bed, lack of food in the fridge). It’s perfect.

31:27 - “This is the fridge of a very sad person.” LMAO. I love this line so so so much. I love how Edrisa seems to be realizing for the first time just how broken Malcolm is. I love how sheepish Malcolm looks when she unintentionally calls him out. I love how amused Dani is by the whole situation. <3 <3

32:00 - annnndddd the Killabustas have taken over Malcolm’s loft. They don’t ask for permission to set up his TV. They don’t awkwardly hang out near the door until Malcolm invites them to ‘make themselves at home’ or any of the other common pleasantries us North Americans go through when we visit the homes of acquaintances. They walk right in and claim ownership. It’s kind of beautiful?

32:13 -......so did they already have Malcolm’s wifi password or am I expected to believe that they either a) have a mobile hotspot, b) are using data, c) web-sleuthed their way into hacking his wifi, or d) Malcolm had his wifi password written down somewhere super obvious inside the house?!?! This is honestly the most unrealistic thing about this episode. It’s 2021. The first time you visit a friend’s house you ask for their wifi password. It’s what you do.

33:28 - Ok. I like the kiss on the cheek. Very respectful. She clearly would’ve been down for more but he’s a gentleman and I respect the hell out of it.

33:48 - “I’m sorry Blaze is so jacked.” hahaha OMG Edrisa - Malcolm’s not romantically interested in you. He never has been. Read the room woman!

36:11 - Ashton is Malcolm in this scene. “I’ve been a freak my whole life. I had nothing until that bird video. Suddenly, I was a part of something.” == “I’ve been a freak my whole life. I had nothing until I joined the team. Suddenly, I was a part of something.”

36:38 - “Ashton, it won’t work. Family will only go so far. Because once they know the truth - who they’re really after - they’ll give up on you. And no more family.” Ouch. This hurts. Malcolm genuinely believes that Gil, Dani, JT, and Edrisa are going to abandon him the second they find out what he did for Ainsley. Malcolm thinks they’re going to hate him. Malcolm thinks they’re going to think he’s like Martin - a criminal. A killer. Look at how broken Malcolm looks and sounds here. It’s not just that Malcolm thinks he’s going to be abandoned. It’s that he thinks he deserves to be abandoned. He thinks he’s a monster.

37:02 - EDRISA!!! DAMN. I love this badass. <3 <3 So proud of the girl who literally had a panic attack in 1x15 when she had to save a that ‘almost-victim’ by injecting alcohol into him.

38:05 - My heart is so full. This is honestly one of my top 10 moments of Prodigal Son to date. I love that we see Gil’s new car. I love that he’s working on his car in a police mechanic shop. I love this little glimpse into Gil’s personal life - the man who likes fixing up old cars with a cold beer while listening to 80s music in an boombox from the 80s. <3 I love the absolute adorableness that is Jessica and Gil awkwardly flirting.

I love that Jessica - the rich socialite - holds Gil’s wrench without question. Even though she looks a little confused. I love that Jessica comes to Gil this time. He’s been instigating the flirting most of this season. It looks like Jessica’s finally ready to be an equal partner in the relationship.

I love that Jessica - the rich socialite - takes a drink of Gil’s working-class beer with a smile. His social class isn’t beneath her. She doesn’t care about how rich he is - just about the purity of his intentions and the depth of his devotion to her family.

39:00 - “Oh I remember her. How fiercely she protected her kids.” I LOVE THIS. I love that Gil is attracted to Jessica’s devotion as a mother. I love that the fact that she had children with another man (a serial killer) doesn’t bother him. He loves how fierce, independent, and strong she is and that’s absolutely gorgeous.

I love who wholesome their romantic moment is. Unlike Edrisa and Martin’s live scenes - it’s not fast, heavy, and physical. It’s slow, gentle, and emotional. Gil and Jessica dance like an old married couple when the song they danced to at their wedding comes on the radio.

I love the setting of the scene. How they’re dancing in a dirty mechanic’s shop. Jessica is dressed like the rich woman she is and Gil is wearing a plaid shirt rolled up to his elbows. The contrast is striking and beautiful. I love that Jessica isn’t trying to make Gil fit into her social status. She’s not dragging him to rich people galas and forcing him to dress or act like someone he’s not (although he would so do that for her). She’s hanging out with Gil on his turf and she’s delighted about it. <3

40:08 - “Do you think you can ever really know someone?” Isn’t this what Malcolm said to Gil in 1x17 as the whole Endicott thing was boiling? You know - a few episodes before the team arrests Malcolm in his loft when he’s in the middle of a mental crisis?!? Is this foreshadowing for the next mental health breakdown?!? (Hopefully a fully mental health breakdown this time?!?!)

40:18 - “Masquarading as someone he wasn’t” Yikes. Malcolm truly believes he’s lying to the team just because he’s not acting like a monster. Malcolm has truly convinced himself that he is his father’s son.

40:45 - I don’t even care how you feel about Brightwell. The fact that Dani is the only person this whole season who has told Malcolm that he’s not a monster makes her the greatest friend he could ever ask for.

40:51 - “Ever since Nicholas died.” ....well Dani isn’t a moron so if she didn’t connect the dots before she will now. If we don’t get an intervention next episode I’m going to throw hands.

40:57 - Why. Does. Martin. Have. To. Ruin. Every. Chance. Malcolm. Gets. To. Begin. To. Heal?!?!

41:16 - “ooooohhhh here comes the kiss” .....honestly though. Martin is every Brightwell shipper.

41:20 - I respect the hell out of Malcolm for shutting Dani down like this. Yes - he absolutely should’ve come clean with her. HOWEVER, he clearly isn’t ready to share this burden and the fact that he shut down the progress of any romantic relationship is really good. Because Dani would be SO MAD if they started dating while he was actively lying to her. It would be the end of their friendship. Forget your Brightwell ship - they wouldn’t even be friends.

41:40 - “Why are you ruining this!?” Dani had to have heard this. Even if she didn’t....Malcolm was pretty obviously glancing over her shoulder at hallucination!Martin before she left. There’s no way Dani - a detective - won’t be able to figure out that Malcolm is hallucinating. I WANT A MENTAL HEALTH INTERVENTION. NEXT EPISODE. I’M MANIFESTING IT INTO EXISTANCE. EVEN THOUGH I DON’T TRUST FEDAK TO GIVE IT TO ME. I JUST WANT SOMEONE TO HUG MALCOLM.

42:06 - Honestly thought Capshaw was going to beat the crap out of Friar Pete here. This woman is unstable. Mark my words. She’s going to kill someone (if she hasn’t already).

I know I kind of shat on this episode a bit but I honestly really liked it? I loved the character development it gave us. Even if the plot was pretty subpar.

Thanks for hanging out. See you next week. <3 :)

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moons-and-stars-and-shit · 3 years

Note

hello!!! i'd like to request a piece of 🍰 please <3 apologies for incoming info dump about my Entire Life :| & thank u so much darling!

basic information — i use she/her and i'm bisexual, an infj, and a scorpio. a yachi kinnie :)

appearance — i'm a 5'0 asian girl with long black hair and dyed caramel tips! my body type is petit and skinny - lack of butt, unfortunately, but i got some tibby! overall im pretty tiny and always look younger than my age lol. i also wear glasses because i am Very Near Sighted, and my clothing style is a weird mix between cutesy-pastel-female-kpop-idol fits, indie teenage girl, and faux cottagecore.

personality — i'm a rather introverted person, but i'm trying my best to work on that. i have depression, anxiety, and adhd, but i'm always telling myself uplifting things and trying to work on my mindsets, so i'd like to say that i'm also sincere and compassionate! i'm also very adaptable and easily influenced by the behaviors of people around me. i think at first impression, i look standoffish and judgemental, but i think it's because i lack the confidence to say what i think and express my emotions, which i'm also working on! once i'm comfortable, i think i'm a very funny, intelligent, and caring person (i'm an extremely sensitive person and receptive to others' emotions — i cried a LOT watching karasuno v shiratorizawa 😐), but i can also tease and be a little sarcastic if the relationship calls for it. i get very affectionate and touchy with close friends too! long story short - i might seem awkward and quiet, but give me a moment— i'm trying, and i'll get there eventually, and i think that'll be worth waiting for. :)

hobbies — i like to do visual art things, like sketch pretty anime boys and also cross-stitch and make calligraphy! i'm a bullet-journaler :) i also love love LOVE learning languages and about different cultures, especially asian ones. i think i'm a pretty studious person when i get into it but i do procrastinate a lot T____T i'm also super into playing genshin impact, but i easily hop interests, so one day i'll be on this and the next, it's something else i'm rambling about. get ready to get ur ear talked off about wtv i love that week <3

likes + dislikes — i like anime, bts (!!), and otome games :> i also enjoy desserts, boba tea, flowers, and sudoku puzzles 🥺 i'm also a lover of learning, asian cultures, and dogs (also cats, but mostly dogs!) <3 i reallllyyyyyy want a pet snake one day too 🥺 family is also very important to me because i'm the youngest of 7 children! i dislike spiders snd working out (seriously the last person to want to do any type of fitness). all that "moving" jazz... volleyball is the only sport i'll probably ever even bother to learn the rules of LMAO but do not expect me to play i will eat the floor </3 my arms are sticks and i will simply embarrass myself

what i want/need in a relationship — i have a pretty idealistic idea of romance - i want someone perfect, but i know that's not realistic. at the very least, i want someone who loves me very much and is honest about that. they also need to let me be affectionate and clingy, and will be the same way back, even if it's just a little bit. i'm someone who needs love and affirmation rather consistently, like a freaking plant. i NEED someone who'll make sure i'm doing things and being productive, and someone who will actively encourage me to both be a better person mentally and physically get things done. they also should be able to take care of me (i'm a youngest child so i like being babied~) <3

this is very long, apologies! thank you so much for your wonderful matchups, they're so detailed and you work very hard on them, i can tell. thank you for your hard work!! kisses 4 u! <3

@mochiiswan ok I see you stealing my husband from me 🥲

Romantic Matchup

Bokuto Koutarou

How yall met

Girl you were just having a bad day

Nothing seemed to be going right

So you showed up for school in a rather gloomy mood

Bokuto didn't know you

But he still didn't like how sad you seemed

So he approached you

He basically just started making small talk to try to cheer you up

You dont know why but his energy did seem to be having a positive effect on you

Bokuto really liked talking to you

And he was glad he was able to cheer you up

The bell had rung signaling it was time to go to class

But bokuto didn't wanna leave you

So he asked if you wanted to come watch his volleyball practice after school

You agreed to go

You went to his practice and bokuto found himself trying to impress you

He didn't know why

Wait...

“AKAASHI I THINK I HAVE A CRUSH”

😳

Yeah he straight up yelled that…

While you were in there…

After a quick advice break from akaashi

He asked you out on a date :)))

What they love about you

He loves that you try to improve yourself

It's one thing to have issues

But to acknowledge those issues and to want to fix them truly makes a strong person

So he loves that you love yourself enough to improve on yourself

And he WILL help you in any way he can

Eek

He loves how sensitive you are

Bb boy is sensitive too

So he's glad he's found someone to cry with when a dog dies in a movie

(Also do any of you cry when a dog dies but doesn't when a human does? No? Just me?)

He loves how you value family

Im convinced bokuto is a family man

He loves his parents and his sisters more than anything

So he's glad he's found someone with the same values as him

HE LOVES HOW CLINGY YOU ARE

DO NOT EVEN HESITATE WITH THIS BOY

You can't tell me ocultos love language isn't physical touch

Come on now

LOOK AT HIM

You will get all the physical affection you could ever dream of

Favorite things to do together

Ok hear me out

He just likes going to the pound…

And looking at the animals with you

and/or

He likes volunteering at the animal shelter with you

You+cute animals=happy bokuto

Random HC

You drew him doing a spike once and he bout cried

Keeps the drawing in his phone case and pulls it out to brag

You take me as a hopeless romantic

And good news for you

Bokutos a hopeless romantic too :)

So your relationship is the closest to perfect relationships can get

He 100% keeps you on track

Mans is like a personal trainer istg

However don't expect to be productive with him around...

He did try to get you to play volleyball

And you did in fact eat the floor </3

Astrology

When Virgo and Scorpio join together in a love match, these Signs that are two apart in the Zodiac are brought together.

Their placement gives the relationship an intense karmic bond

The Virgo-Scorpio couple is loyal and deep, with very strong ties.

Virgo and Scorpio enjoy working together toward acquisition: Virgo wants order and Scorpio wants power.

Both of these Signs are about resources, including inheritances and property.

This couple is very service-oriented and known to be dependable.

They like to lend a hand to a friend or to the community.

Additionally, Virgo can be withdrawn — while Scorpio is more opaque and outgoing.

Because of the disparity, both Signs can learn from one another if they can agree to meet halfway.

Virgo is ruled by Mercury and Scorpio is ruled by Mars and Pluto.

This combination is very heated, thanks to Pluto’s influence.

The two Signs unite to form the basic foundation of human relationships — Mercury’s communication and Mars’s passion.

Mercury and Mars go well together; Mercury is about the conscious mind, and Mars is about the passion of romance.

Scorpio is rambunctious and intense, and Virgo is attracted to this energy.

In turn, Scorpio needs the loyalty and practicality inherent in Virgo.

Overall Aesthetic

Pastelcore

Songs-

Are you bored yet - wallows

Strawberry Mentos - Leanna Firestone

Hey Lover - Wabie

Mystery of Love - Sufjan Stevens

#haikyuu!!#haikyuu fandom #haikyuu fluff #haikyuu hcs #haikyuu x y/n #haikyuu headcanons #haikyuu matchups #haikyuu x reader #bokuto koutarou x reader #bokuto koutarou #bokuto x reader #bokuto x y/n #bokuto koutarou x y/n #bokuto #bokuto headcanons #bokuto hc

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dylawa · 3 years

Text

So @allmightluver made this FANTASTIC analysis into All Might’s character [Here] and how the current Manga arc (chapters ~300-305) really shows how he’s going through it, and, if you have the time to read it, I by all means am begging you to go read and reblog that post instead. But, for my own small-brained sake, I asked for their permission to create an abbreviated version of their post (which is still “long,” but it’s not a whole fanfic’s length long. It’s brilliant as it is! I am just weak).

This literally is just a rephrased edition of a much larger, more in-depth piece; it’s the equivalent of reading a book’s synopsis over the book itself, so GO. READ IT.

But, to those that are still here, this is a Thing about All Might. Again, all of this is just rephrased from @allmightluver‘s [original post]; I kept most of the original context; maybe I’ll do a follow-up reblog with my own thoughts.

From as early as Toshinori’s childhood, to as late as his young teenage years, literally all he ever wanted was to be a hero people could see and know, “Everything is going to turn out okay, no matter how bad the situation is.” Many other heroes of the time, and even into current day BNHA, generally had other reasons for pursuing the line of work, but not him. There was no yearning for fame, lust for money, or a power trip, or anything like that. The only thing he wanted out of being a hero, was to get people to smile. To feel safe.

It’s not common for a 14 year old to come to this conclusion, so it’s pretty safe to assume Toshinori didn’t have the best childhood, whether that’s in his own personal life, or he really just had no filter between his home life, and the world of heroes and villains. Being Quirkless probably played a huge factor in all of that.

But then, what about Izuku? He was Quirkless, right? Here’s the thing: He had All Might to look up to. Toshinori? Nobody. Yes, Izuku had some of the same roadblocks, but All Might inspired him to keep going. There isn’t much to imply that Toshinori had a similar relationship to Nana when they first crossed paths, and hero culture was less of a fashion show than it is currently.

Nana was only able to mentor Toshinori for a few short years before she was brutally murdered, right in front of him, and after that, all he had was Gran Torino, who wasn’t exactly benevolent teacher material-- vicious enough that, even as an older man, Toshinori had severe reservations about speaking with him again; but back then, he was one of the only people that knew the pain he went through in losing Nana, not to mention knowledge of One for All itself. And even then, Torino instructed him to leave the country, once again leaving Toshinori all alone to figure out things for himself until he could confidently return to Japan.

And when he did come back, he had his work cut out for him; there was a lot of work to be done to get society as “surface-level gleaming” as it was under All Might’s thumb, and we see some of that in Vigilantes; staying up for days on end to save people, stop villains, and repair structural damage. He even falls asleep mid-jump at one point, because that’s all the time for rest he can squeeze in. But, by this point, the power of One For All has lead the public, and even other heroes to believe, that All Might has it under control; he doesn’t need help, or at least, nothing more than what they’re already giving. And sure, Endeavor did his part, but that was for him; he just wanted to surpass All Might, not help him.

Now, after his gruesome injury, Toshinori no longer has that ability to save people like he used to. He spent years doing nothing but serving the world, fighting an unseen force that nearly tore him in half, to the point that that evil force should have died, and, even after all of that, thinking he had won, that it was over, Nighteye still promised his untimely demise, before abandoning him for continuing to push himself as his organs threatened to fall out of his body. But, even if AFO was “gone,” there was still a whole other world of villains to deal with; the worst threat was gone, but that didn’t mean the world was safe.

And the only person who could maintain that peace, was All Might. Now, he was under pressure of a ticking clock. So, he kept going.

Which, of course, turned him into what we saw in the beginning of the manga/anime. He has a whole slew of physical issues that are only exacerbated by his lack of self care in favor of pushing himself as hard as he can to keep up his hero work, and because of that, he’s completely ruined his health outside of the All Might persona. The man is practically rotting from the inside out, and, though at first no one knows it’s All Might, people on the street look at this ghastly figure, and they know it. And he knows they know it. Could you imagine the stress he swallows down, knowing, one day, they will find out the truth?

And, let’s not forget how, once Nighteye left, Toshinori was left alone with his paperwork. Eventually, Tsukauchi took over, but that was only because Toshinori let it slip in a moment of deep stress just who he was. But, in the timespan between, it was all up to Toshinori to handle those things, on top of his hero work, and the bare-minimum of whatever he was doing to keep himself alive.

This part, I’m just quoting from @allmightluver‘s post verbatim:

“People blame him for not preparing society for his retirement, that he failed in passing on the torch so to speak, but in reality he did everything possible to keep society from falling for 40 years, doing all within his power just to keep things afloat. He is only one person. One human being, he can’t do everything despite trying to. Society failed All Might.”

Some people in fandom say he sucks as a teacher, but first of all, do you remember who he had as a teacher? I’d say he’s leaps and bounds above Torino. Not to mention, he’s never been a teacher before, and he never planned to pass on OFA again. And just because someone’s a bad teacher (which, he could be worse), doesn’t mean they’re not smart: he’s got a 6/6 intelligence score. Which definitely doesn’t help when Izuku does something to hurt himself with his Quirk that he gave to him. He could very well think it’s his own fault.

And we haven’t even touched up on Dave yet! This man literally staged a hostage situation so he could get his hands on banned technology to try to extend All Might’s time, and hurt so many people in the process. There’s another friend gone.

And then, All For One comes back. A man Toshinori swore he killed. And then he has to fight him in front of the world, having his weakness exposed, and then being told this villain is grooming Nana’s grandson-- someone Toshinori failed to save, didn’t even know needed saving, because he didn’t know the kid existed. And he doesn’t get time to process that; he has to pretend he’s fine, even while he’s shown in this failing human form to the world, to stop AFO once more at great personal cost.

And then, OFA leaves him.

And then he has to deal the the ordeal of being human while Bakugo blames himself for it, while Nighteye dies and confesses he’s happy after all these years to see him on his last words, while watching Endeavor struggle with one Nomu on live television, while watching Bakugo almost take over the burden of carrying OFA, and, despite all of these horrible things occurring... he still confesses to his acquaintance, Aizawa, that he’s “decided to live.” Like it’s another burden to take on. How can this man not be horribly suffering deep down inside? We don’t see the extent of it, because he trained for so long to keep it buried deep down, and it’s harder as Toshinori than it was as All Might, but he’s still got severe trauma and chronic physical conditions that will last the rest of his life. And, yes, people made him promise to live, but only he “decided” he would do so.

And then, he does research into the OFA holders, and finds a gruesome secret. He could have sealed Izuku’s fate to an early grave, not just because of the nature of hero work, but because OFA users have what seems to be a natural predisposition to die early (due to those who previously had quirks being given OFA having their lifespan shortened because of it; Toshinori doesn’t know the full truth yet).

And pretty much right after he finds out that information, the world implodes on itself. Villains win a critical fight, and run amok. People are dying. Heroes are quitting. They blame him. The heroes that do remain can barely handle the load. Some even die. AFO escapes prison, Izuku is in critical condition-- everything he worked for for forty years, disintegrates overnight. Everything he did to himself in pursuit of a peaceful society meant nothing. And, he can feel his vestige within One For All, which isn’t a good sign.

Time is running out.

And he may not even die happy.

“People don’t credit All Might enough for everything he’s done. Most don’t realize the sacrifices he’s made. His character is so unbelievably profound and deep, it’s more than just the “I am here!” people focus on. He’s a deeply troubled, layered, complex character. And I can’t find fault within him.”

#bnha #boku no hero academia #mha #my hero academia #all might #toshinori yagi

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rainforestgeek · 3 years

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Catra and Lonnie

Disclaimer: this post in no way is meant to justify Catra’s cruel actions in season 4 or condemn Lonnie as a person. This is looking specifically at their relationship one-on-one.

Was thinking about the bit in 4x12 (Destiny Part 1) when Kyle blocked Catra from attacking Lonnie and he said,

“We used to be your friends! Why are you treating us like this?”

Uhm. What?

Kyle always tried to treat everyone sweetly, that’s very true. However. When had Lonnie ever been a friend to Catra? Anyone else remember this quote?

“Easy, Catra. Adora’s not here to protect you anymore.”

Here’s the full interaction:

C: “Please, she’s just like every other princess. All sparkle, no substance. She caught us off guard, that is all.”

L: “Sure. You were the only one that saw her up close and you didn’t even land a hit on her. What? Did you freeze up?”

C: “You think I’m scared of some princess? I could take her out whenever I want, I know her secret.”

L: “Yeah.” Lonnie pushes Catra. “And what’s that?”

Two other cadets come to Lonnie’s side and stand off threateningly.

Catra shakes it off. “Hm. Like I’d tell you.”

“Easy, Catra. Adora’s not here to protect you anymore.”

What, exactly, had Catra done to deserve that kind of provocation from Lonnie in this scene? She intentionally got her mad and put her down because she knew she could. After Lonnie pushed her, Catra looked around the room at everyone there and you can see in her eyes that she feels surrounded and outnumbered.

There’s no one she expects to come to her defense there. Lonnie was in a position of social power and used it to make Catra feel unsteady and unsafe.

We know from the way Catra behaves around the others that she never felt like she belonged with the other cadets. It was made abundantly clear that Adora was her only real ally growing up in the Horde - and what Lonnie said to her was a thinly veiled threat.

In a flashback in Promise we actually saw Lonnie picking on Catra as young teenagers:

“Way to gang up on me!”

“You were fighting dirty. I was just leveling the field.”

Uh, no, Lonnie, you were ganging up on her. She and Adora were playing around and Adora clearly had no problem with how Catra was fighting. So she feinted to knock Adora off her feet, that’s no more fighting dirty than coming up on your opponent from behind, like Lonnie did.

Especially when you’re training for war where the enemy will not presumably follow rules of conduct. Yeah, Adora wasn’t happy Catra got the upper hand

But she knew the score. She knew the goal was to win and wasn’t holding Catra’s techniques against her. Adora ruthlessly beat Catra once she was off her game seconds later. She knew the score.

Lonnie wasn’t coming to Adora’s defense in any way. She just wanted to make Catra lose. I have a theory that, as the only other girl on the squad, Lonnie felt left out because of Catra and Adora’s close relationship and so she provoked Catra, knowing that her temper would make her look like the bad guy.

Look at the body language here. Lonnie is clearly baiting her. If she’d really believed she was helping, she would have been more mad and less taunting at Catra, and it’s working. Catra is someone who got easily victimized as a child because she got riled up very easily.

We also know from Corridors that Lonnie and Catra never got along. In some sort of upset, jealous, threatened fit Catra had punched her. With how scared Catra looked in that scene, it’s possible that Lonnie was provoking her even as little kids. It’s also possible that Shadow Weaver’s abuse made her suspicious of anything that could take Adora away from her.

Either way, the flashback establishes her relationship with Lonnie had been contentious from a young age. They weren’t friends.

You know what this scene with Catra crying reminds me of? The battle training scene when they were teenagers. We have a few pieces of information in the Corridors flashback: Catra felt threatened by Lonnie, she punched her, and she ran to off to cry not only upset but behaving like a cornered animal. By all rights, shouldn’t Lonnie have been the one running off and crying since she was attacked? That reaction makes me think Lonnie baited her more than just being friendly with Adora. That kind of upset, that kind of pain, gets to you when you’re a kid because another kid tried to hurt you. Because you’ve been targeted and you know you can’t prove it. Why would Catra react THAT badly to being told she had to apologize? Because she felt Lonnie was getting away with being mean while Catra wasn’t.

Adora saying she should say sorry cemented a belief that no one, not even her best friend, would completely take Catra’s side. As such she didn’t tell Adora she thought Lonnie was maliciously attacking her years later after the combat training incident. Catra’s desperate crying seems so like her desperate crying in the locker room.

This is the face of a child who’s been utterly isolated from her peers because she’s different, because she’s an easy target, and no one will defend her. And Kyle said Lonnie used to be her friend. What nonsense. Catra went crazy with her power because she’d felt powerless and victimized her WHOLE LIFE, a feeling engineered by Shadow Weaver and helped along spectacularly by Lonnie.

All this to say: Kyle is one thing, and Rogelio always seemed to just be in the background, but when had Lonnie and Catra ever been friends?

#spop #She-Ra #she-ra and the princesses of power #she ra #catra #lonnie #spop season 5 #spop corridors #corridors #spop promise #promise #spop lonnie #spop catra #trauma #bullying #cycle of abuse #spop season 1 #catra's psychology

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jemmahazelnut · 3 years

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Two broken hearts with matching sides - Chapter 7

Link: AO3

Here you can find Chapter One, Chapter Two, Chapter Three, Chapter Four, Chapter Five, Chapter Six.

Notes: I swear I will publish the next chapters faster.

First steps

Freed woke up with a slight headache. It could have been worse for him given how much he had drunk the day before. He yawned and got dressed noticing that it was now lunchtime. The night before he and Laxus had come home at four in the morning. After writing to all the people that had worried, Freed had gone to sleep with a mixed feeling of adrenaline and relief in his body. The chat with Laxus had definitely changed his perspective, but he still didn't know how to approach the blonde.

During the journey home they had decided to take things calmly so as not to repeat the mistake they had made years ago. Go out, see what it was like to be together after years and, if necessary, make things serious. It was the best he could hope for. They had also decided not to say anything to the others, merely saying that they had solved their problems.

Freed left his room and entered the kitchen, where the three roommates were already there. Evergreen was having tea while she read the news on the phone, Bickslow ate breakfast even though it was late now, and Laxus was making a coffee.

“Morning,” Freed greeted as he opened the fridge.

“Coffee?” Laxus asked. Freed smiled at him.

“Yes, thank you,” he replied, pleased to finally be able to have a normal conversation.

Evergreen and Bickslow looked up in surprise from the table at them.

“Have you solved your problems?” Bickslow asked.

“Yes, I'm still sorry about yesterday. I didn't mean to worry you,” Freed said taking the jar of jam and putting it on the table.

“I really hope for you two that you're done driving me crazy,” Evergreen commented in annoyance.

“Yes,” Freed replied. Evergreen was obviously curious now. Rightly so, since she had had to endure all their squabbles.

“So what was the problem?” she asked. Freed just kept quiet, not sure what he could say. They had decided not to give news around, mainly because they had just solved, they didn’t know how things were going to go between them.

“We had some misunderstandings and last night we solved” he just said after a while, since Laxus didn’t speak. Evergreen arched an eyebrow, not at all pleased with the answer.

“Misunderstanding?” she asked skeptically. She was about to ask for more but luckily Bickslow intervened.

“Well, as long as you don't leave home anymore. Honestly, I'm tired of running after you too,” he said calmer than the girl.

“I'll try not to,” Freed replied. Laxus set the cup of coffee in front of him and Freed took it with a slight smile on his face.

“How about going to billiards?” Laxus asked.

“Do you mean all together?” Evergreen asked that she still wanted to know more and she was scrutinizing them openly, looking for every little information. Laxus and Freed nodded.

“Great!” Bickslow exclaimed “Just like the old days.”

***

“You softened up in Germany,” Laxus smiled as he walked out of the bar with Freed for a moment to smoke. They were with Bickslow and Evergreen in the club they always went where they were teenagers and had decided to play a couple of games of pool. They both thought that going out with the two friends would make things less embarrassing, moreover, they both wanted to be forgiven by the two for behaving like assholes and that was the ideal opportunity.

“I wouldn't say, if it wasn't for Evergreen you would have already lost” Freed retorted closing the door behind him and then leaning against the wall.

“I don't think so,” the blond objected, lighting a cigarette.

“You haven't given up yet,” Freed commented and Laxus made a small grimace.

“I tried, and for a few months I even managed to quit, but then I started again,” Laxus replied taking a puff and avoiding saying that since Freed returned, he had increased the number of cigarettes he smoked per day. “So, what’s Germany like?” he asked.

“Everything is much better organized and people are not chaotic and rude like here. Just look at the streets and see how clean they are compared to ours,” Freed replied.

“The perfect place for you,” Laxus commented, glancing at him. In fact, there was also that problem to think about. When Freed finished his two years of university, would he go back to his father, or would he stay in Italy to live with his mother? Laxus hoped that he would choose the latter option, despite the fact that he knew that finding a job there would be more difficult. Also, perhaps Freed lived better in Germany.

“Maybe” said Freed “But I still prefer Italy, maybe just because I was born there,” he added with a slight frown. Then he began to tell some anecdotes and Laxus listened curiously.

The blond found himself staring at his friend -if he could define him that way again- thinking it was really nice to be able to talk to him again. Freed hadn't changed then so much, and even if there had been some embarrassing moments during the evening, the conversation had been easier than he had thought. Thinking that they were screwing everything up for nothing still made him weird, and knowing that Freed still had an interest in him excited him.

The temptation to behave like a teenager was so great, being physical, putting an arm around his shoulders, trying to make contact with him, it was something that came normal to them when they were high school. Now, however, he avoided doing it, partly because he didn’t know how Freed would react, partly because in the end they had solved only a few days before.

He finished his cigarette and continued to listen to Freed talking about a weekend in Berlin.

“So far I've only spoken, you haven't told me anything new,” Freed said after a while.

“I don't have much to say,” Laxus said with a shrug. “My life is always the same, the grandfather is getting older and more emotional. He also got a little dog. He always complains about it, I told him to get a goldfish if he really wanted an animal”. Freed laughed lightly at the joke and Laxus smiled.

“You always wanted a dog as a kid,” Freed recalled with a smile.

“Yes, and he never took it from me. Now that I'm gone, he takes it. I think he does it to piss me off,” the blond commented. “However, he’d like to see you again. If you want, we can go to him in the next few weeks,” he added hopefully. He didn't want to rush too much, but it was true that Makarov had asked him about Freed. Laxus had heard him on the phone and told him that he had talked to Freed, briefly telling him what had happened between the two of them. Freed nodded.

“Gladly,” he said and Laxus smiled in relief.

“Good”.

Freed looked down for a moment. “I'm really sorry I left without telling you anything.” Laxus looked at him in surprise. “I didn't say goodbye to anyone, even though my mother told me to”.

“Hey, we were both stupid. We should have clarified that time, but better late than never,” Laxus reassured him.

“Yes but… I left it all behind. I acted like an idiot, and the worst is that I was doing it up until a few weeks ago,” he snorted. “If you hadn't come to me, I wouldn't have talked to you.”

“I didn't make it easy for you,” Laxus objected.

“This isn’t the time when everyone takes the blame, is it?” Freed smiled slightly, perhaps to defuse the situation.

“Of course not, fault’s seventy percent yours,” Laxus replied. Freed looked up in surprise and the blond grinned. “But I’m good and I forgive you”.

“I'm talking seriously,” Freed said but then he smiled and shook his head. “It doesn't matter, let's go back and play,” he said. Laxus nodded and the two boys entered the club, joining Evergreen and Bickslow. The rest of the evening they spent with the two friends, joking like in the old days, almost as if not even a day had passed.

***

A few nights later the four boys decided to go to a bar together by joining the Strauss brothers. Freed had nothing to complain about, he knew that Elfman and Evergreen were together, and personally he liked Mirajane and Lisanna.

And spending time with Laxus was getting easier. After some initial awkwardness, it had been oddly easy to get back into a relationship similar to the one they had in high school. They weren't as close as they were back then, but they were working on it. And it was nice to know the blond liked him, even though they hadn't spoken since that evening. And Freed honestly didn't know how to move. Even if all instinct told him to throw himself on Laxus and kiss him, he tried to keep him in check with rationality. If Laxus wanted to take it slow, he was fine. And indeed, perhaps it was for the best.

“Guys, are you here too?” asked a voice behind them. Freed and Bickslow turned and saw Rufus. If the second smiled broadly, Freed instantly tensed. Rufus smiled at them and cast an interested look at Laxus. He was in the company of Minerva, Orga, Sting and Rogue.

“Hey! Do you want to join?” Bickslow asked. Freed hoped they would say no, but unfortunately the boys agreed. And unfortunately, Rufus sat right next to Laxus. He had to expect it, the presumptuous blond was obviously attracted to Laxus.

Actually Freed still hadn't figured out what was between them. He hadn't asked, but now he was actually morbidly curious. Were they engaged? Or had they just been dating for a short time? And how long? And why did Laxus go out with that blond? What the fuck did he like about Rufus? Hell, he was thinking like a jealous boy.

But with good reason, Rufus was clearly flirting with him and even though Laxus didn’t respond to his flirtations and tried to make him understand that whatever had been between them was now over, Rufus continued. Freed just bit his tongue so as not to spoil the evening. In reality, however, all he wanted to do was achieve the two and take those damned hands of Rufus off Laxus' shoulder.

“Well, it's funny to think that just a few years ago we all hated each other,” Sting commented suddenly.

“Yeah, Ever and Elfman didn't get along at all and look at them now,” Mirajane said with her eyes sparkling with joy. The two boys blushed slightly.

“Well, you and Minerva didn't get along quite well either,” Evergreen commented to get out of the situation.

“Yeah, you nearly bitten each other in the school corridors. You were two beasts, almost worse than men,” Sting commented cheerfully.

“Not to mention you and Natsu,” Rogue muttered.

“True. Hey, you two didn't get along very well either,” Sting commented, glancing from Freed to Rufus.

“Yeah, we were always competing for everything,” Rufus smiled. “But things change, by now we’ve put those disagreements behind us, right?”. Freed would have had a lot to say about that last statement. The last time they met Freed had yelled at him and was one step away from punching him and kicking him out of the apartment. And even at that moment Freed just felt the urge to insult him and remove that presumptuous attitude.

Instead, he just drank his drink. “Yeah. You and Laxus were always competing too,” he changed the subject. Orga laughed loudly and nodded. Fortunately, the discussion changed and no one paid him more attention.

Freed, however, continued to observe Rufus and how he spoke next to Laxus, approaching him and telling him who knows what. At that moment he regretted not sitting next to him. He had done it so as not to risk leaning on him and doing who knows what, but at that moment he just wanted to be in Rufus's place.

He honestly hoped that evening would be over quickly, because watching Rufus and Laxus so close was starting to get on his nerves. He tried to be rational, and told himself he had no reason to worry. Laxus had told him he wanted to go out with him, not with Rufus.

It didn't work at all.

The annoyance remained there and the fact of not knowing what had been there between those two was driving Freed out of his mind.

He tried to ignore that sense of annoyance and started talking to Rogue, while still glancing at the two boys. At one point the two stood up and Freed couldn’t help but follow them with his eyes. Laxus put a hand on his shoulder and Freed looked at him in surprise.

“I'm going to smoke, are you coming?” he asked. Freed nodded and stood up, a little relieved that he had asked him. Imagining those two alone would have been too difficult. Sting and Rogue also joined.

“Do you smoke?” Rufus asked.

“No,” Freed said. “But I want to get some fresh air,” he explained. Rufus didn’t reply and the three boys left the room.

While Laxus lit a cigarette and handed the lighter to Rogue who did the same, Rufus turned to Freed and asked him what it was like to be in Germany. Freed already had a malicious response on his tongue, but once again he decided to keep it to himself and began to tell something.

“So now you can speak German really well,” Rufus commented after a while.

I already knew how to speak well, Freed thought irritably, but he nodded. “You instead? What have you done in these years?” he asked actually not very interested.

“Since you left, Laxus and I have been going out often. Remember all the disagreements we had in high school? They disappeared into thin air,” Rufus began. Freed looked at him now pissed. He had thought that Rufus was starting to talk about his university, how he was still the best in the class and other bullshit like that. Instead he had begun, of everything, to talk about Laxus. He was doing it on purpose, it was clear.

“We found that we got along very well. By the way, I wanted to apologize for the last time we met. I didn't really want to wake you up, but we were so caught up in the situation that we didn't realize we were noisy”.

Freed’s irritation grew even more. Fucking asshole. He just wanted to answer him badly and get that smile off his face. But there were also Sting and Rogue, and he didn't want to ruin the evening.

“Old story,” he said coldly. Pretending indifferent was best.

“A bit like Rogue and I do, when passion takes over...” Sting intervened cheerfully.

“Nobody wants to know anything,” Rogue growled irritated silencing the blonde.

“However it seems that you’ve solved your problems. Everyone was wondering why you never talked to each other again and why you disappeared without anyone knowing,” Rufus began again. Now Freed was really going to tell him to fuck off.

“An old fight,” Laxus interjected, perhaps foreseeing Freed’s wrath. “It doesn't matter anymore.”

“I understand,” Rufus said and stared at them for a moment. “So you're friends again like you used to be,” he commented.

“Yes,” Laxus replied hastily. “I saw Yukino the other day, I learned that she takes the same course as you” he changed the subject.

Freed remained silent with pursed lips and nervousness that it went up more and more. They were friends. Right. Laxus apparently didn't want to talk about their relationship. Not that there was much to say, obviously for the moment they were just dating, it was obvious that he didn't want to talk about it. But with Rufus he didn't have much trouble making out in front of other people.

All the good times spent with Laxus in the last few days were covered by that new news and the bad mood grew more and more. Rufus's presence didn't help, because the blond really seemed to have some confidence with Laxus. He leaned on him, smiled clearly flirtatiously and chatted animatedly.

Either Laxus didn't notice because he was an idiot, or he wanted to make him nervous about something. Something Freed honestly didn't understand. Maybe he just wanted to show him what he had been missing in those three years? Or maybe he wanted to piss him off? Or maybe he was more interested in Rufus than he was.

Freed didn't say much all evening, and he chatted more with Rogue than the others until they finally left. Freed didn’t miss the 'See you these days' that Rufus said to Laxus, but he didn't comment on it and pretended not to have heard it as he headed towards the car.

#fraxus #freed justine #laxus dreyar #freed x laxus #fanfiction

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pennylanefics · 4 years

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First Love - Derek Hale

a/n: i’m not super happy with how this turned out :/ if you have any ideas for some derek fics, that’s be much appreciated!! :)

•••

The first day of school, freshman year, you met Derek. He seemed like this dorky yet cool kid that everyone either loved or hated. You were on the love side. Just being around him made you happy, and he felt the same. For a short time.

You two began dating a couple months after meeting. But, three months into that relationship, Derek suddenly dumped you, leaving you for a new girl, Paige. You were heartbroken over him for months. Your friends tried to help you move on, but nothing worked.

Months later, the news of her death broke out. Derek didn’t come to school for a while. But when he did, he tried so hard to get you back. He apologized, begged you, did anything he could to try to make up for what he did. You weren’t having any of it, and turned him down every single time.

Years pass and you two are now out of high school. You still had yet to have any contact with Derek, and at this point, he just accepted it. If you haven’t spoken to him since sophomore year of high school, you weren’t going to anytime soon.

Six years go by, and Derek is still gone from Beacon Hills after the fire. You felt bad for him, knowing how close he was with his family. But still, you never spoke a word to him; he disappeared before you could even get a chance to, really.

It’s a year before you even run into Derek again. He decided to not tell you that he was back, mainly because the way things ended between the two of you, and he wasn't sure if you even wanted to see him. Unfortunately, you two meet again in strange circumstances.

You were tending to animals at the clinic since Deaton was out of town. Walking down the aisles, you check out the animals in the cages, making sure they were healing from whatever wounds they were dealing with, refilling their food and water bowls, cleaning the cage out if need be.

Scott was supposed to be showing up soon to drop some paperwork off and clean the lobby and back area. So it was just you, your music playing softly in the background. As you were checking the clipboard of a cat healing from a surgery, you hear the door to the clinic open.

“Scott?” You question, but no one responds. That’s when you hear a very familiar voice.

“Scott, are you here?” Derek calls out. You freeze, realizing that there’s no way to avoid him. You finish writing down some information and slowly walk to the front. There stands Derek, looking around the small lobby. He doesn’t see you for a second, but as he turns around, sensing someone else in the room, he freezes as well.

His green eyes are wide with shock and confusion. He wasn’t expecting to see you, at all. He wasn’t even sure you were still in Beacon Hills after all these years.

“D-Derek,” you breathe out, not being able to tear your eyes from his figure. He had grown a lot. The last time you saw him was at your high school graduation, when he was eighteen years old. Now, he was about twenty-six, very mature and broad-looking. His hair was pushed up, darker than you remember, a defined beard covering his chin, jaw, and cheeks. He looked very soft and adorable, yet still tough and strong.

“Uh. I’m sorry, I was looking for Scott. I wasn’t expecting to, uh, um-”

“Hey!” Scott appears behind Derek, stepping through the doors of the clinic. Your eyes finally break away from your ex and find Scott, wiping his face off from the rain that was falling outside. He immediately feels the uneasiness and tension in the room, looking between you and Derek.

“Is...something wrong?” He wonders. You smile softly at your friend and shake your head.

“No, not at all. I was just telling him that we’re closed.”

“Oh that’s fine, he’s here to meet me. (Y/N), this is Derek, Derek, (Y/N),” he introduces you. An awkward chuckle escapes your lips and you rub your arm.

“Uh, we know each other. We went to high school together,” you say, quickly glancing at Derek.

“Really? Well that’s great. Derek, let’s go to the exam room.” With that, they disappear to the other room, leaving you alone with your thoughts. Taking a deep breath, you walk back to the cages and continue to check up on the animals.

It was now a couple hours later, Scott and Derek were long gone. You were finally done with cleaning, organizing, and making sure everything was put back. The rain was still coming down hard and you weren’t exactly looking forward to driving home.

Gathering your things, you put your coat over your head and walked out, locking the door in the process. As you walk to your car, you look up and see that a car is in the parking lot.

Derek.

When he sees you coming, he hops out of his car and leans against it, crossing his arms.

You pretend like you don’t see him, keeping your vision right on your car. But, Derek follows you.

“How have you been?” He asks, his voice soft yet loud enough over the rain pounding against the concrete. You throw your things in the backseat of your car and slam the door, facing Derek.

“What do you want?” Derek’s expression softens as he sees the hurt look in your eyes.

“I just, I want to know if we can reconcile and-”

“Derek, it’s been ten years since we last spoke, and eight years since we last saw each other. There’s nothing to reconcile.”

“I don’t like the way things ended back in sophomore year.”

“Oh, you mean dumping me for another girl you met just weeks before, only to try and come back to me after she died? Do you not realize how fucked up that is?” Derek sighs and runs his hands over his face.

“Yeah, it is. But I was a teen. I was stupid. And I’m sorry for the way I acted.”

“That’s not enough. We dated for four months, knew each other for six months, and you dumped me for another girl that didn’t even show interest in you at first. I was heartbroken for the longest time after that. I couldn’t get over you, even though I hated you for what you did.”

“Like I said, I was a stupid teenager, confused about what I wanted.”

“It’s not just that, Derek. When you left after the fire, you never came to say goodbye or even tell me that you were leaving.”

“I didn’t think you wanted to see me.”

“Just because I hated you, doesn’t mean I wasn’t sorry for what happened to your family. I know how much they meant to you, and I knew you were hurting. Yeah, I was upset with you and I didn’t want to see you, but I was willing to push all those feelings aside to make sure you were okay.”

“What you’re saying is so contradicting. You say you don’t want to see me then get mad that I didn’t come to see you?” He was now getting angrier, and so were you. So many years of pent up anger and heartbreak was flowing through you. It was like you couldn’t stop.

“How long have you been back in Beacon Hills?” You ask. Derek averts his gaze to the ground.

“A year.” Your eyes widen a bit in shock.

“You’ve been back a year? And you’re just now trying to get back in contact?”

“I knew you probably didn’t want to see me and I needed to lay low for a while anyways. There was a lot of danger, which is why I came back, and I didn’t want you getting caught up with anything and being in the way of that danger. But I’m here now.” You were soaked to the bone at this point, but you couldn’t really tell. Your focus was so set on Derek that you hadn’t even paid attention to how much it was actually raining.

Derek reaches his hand out for you to take. His touch looks so inviting, but you can’t seem to move. You stare at it for a moment before gazing up at the man.

“I need my first love back.” First love? Your heart begins to race like crazy at his words, something he’s never admitted before; sure, you two said ‘I love you’ during your short relationship, but to refer to you as his first love? That was something.

Anger takes over you once more as you scoff and bat his hand away.

“I need to get home,” you mumble. Before you can even turn around, Derek grabs your arm and keeps you forward, reaching up to cup your cheeks. His lips smash against yours in a heated kiss, warming you up from the freezing rain.

You want to push away so bad, but the feeling of his lips is intoxicating. You haven’t kissed him in a decade, so it felt amazing; all of the memories of your kisses flood your mind, bringing you back to better times.

You melt into his touch, eyes fluttering shut and leaning into his body. One of his hands moves down to hold your neck while the other travels down to your waist to pull you closer. You don’t know how long you two kissed, but when you pull away, Derek’s cheeks and lips are slightly pinker than usual.

“Come back to my place?” He whispers, tracing your swollen lips with his finger. “Let me make everything up to you.” His touch, his gaze, and his voice take over you, so much so that you agree to his question.

“Okay. But you better let me borrow some clothes. It’s the least you can do after making me stand here with you.” Derek chuckles and gives you a quick kiss.

“Let’s take my car, I don’t want you driving in this weather,” he says, grabbing your hands and squeezing them gently.

“So sweet, Derek. Nothing like I remember.” You both share a laugh before you grab your things and hop into his car, feeling the warmth surround you.

“Hey,” he speaks up before driving away, “I still care for you, just know that.”

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