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robynlilyblack · 2 years

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A good mum

Sirius Black and fem! reader

[Requested – see request here]

Summary: Y/n and Sirius never planned on being parents, but after the events of Halloween they are left to raise Harry

Warnings: talks of pregnancy and birth, cannon character death, grief, insecurities, hurt/comfort, all things baby related (diapers etc), big angst in places but lots of fluff, mentions of nudity, eating, food and sex

A/n: 6.6k words, I really like this, a lot of the things are based off of my own experiences with my baby cousins and me being completely incompetent living on my own, thank you for the request, enjoy x

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You had never fancied yourself a mother, even from a young age you just knew you never wanted kids. People around you always gave the ‘you’ll change your mind later’ but the years went by and, if anything, you became more adamant about it.

There were two main reasons, the first was you were positive you wouldn’t make a good mum, you couldn’t hardly take care of yourself let alone another human being that depended solely on you not to mention you were a bit of a risk taker and definitely lacked the responsibly needed. Second, the idea of actually giving birth and pregnancy along with all the associated pain terrified you and after seeing your godson come out of your best friend that was solidified. Birth wasn’t a beautiful thing; sure, once little Harry was all cleaned up he was cute as a button it was but merlin was it gross and accidently picking up Lily’s mucus plug was probably the worst part.

Due to this, most of your relationships never lasted too long as they would start talking about the future, having kids. Sure, you were young at the time but with the war life moved faster than normal, people were getting married and starting families young since no one was sure they would survive.

After graduation you moved in with your best friend, Sirius, since James and Lily decided to get a house and he was now in need of a roommate and you a place to stay. You and he had always had a connection, you were terribly similar, so much so it was the reason neither of you ever made a move. That was until the close proximity finally pushed you both over that fine line you were teetering on

“Siri I’m back!” you call out, hauling in the heavy shopping bags “Siri!” your shout is a little strained

You get no response so you struggle with the bags and close the door on your own, that was until you catch one on the corner of the table and everything spills out. You were only thankful you didn’t buy eggs as it all hit the floor the cans causing a considerable large thump

“Fuck” you yelp as one of them hits your foot, squatting down and letting your butt fall to the floor as you clutch your foot

You look up to hear the banging of a door and what sounds like a skid followed by Sirius coming around the corner panicking

“Holy shit, are you okay darling?” he asks kneeling down in front of you, checking you’re alright but your more focused on his current attire

No wonder he didn’t hear you he had been in the shower, hair damp with droplets falling from his perfect curls, glistening chest covered in the tattoos you had always adored and a pretty pink towel wrapped around him, one which used to be white but thanks to a pair of Sirius’ boxers had been since dyed

“Y/n?” he peers at you confused before following your eyes, beginning to smirk “Darling” he says in a lower tone

You finally look up “Yeah?” you ask a little flustered but not embarrassed, you had admired him many a time before as had he with you

“I asked if you were alright”

“Oh” you look around seeing the groceries, the pain in your foot returning “Yeah the bag broke and I think a tin or something hit my foot” your hands try to smooth the injury through your shoe

“Here” Sirius moves your hands away, slipping off of your shoe and sock, warm hands massaging over the area as he shifts closer, pulling your foot over his towel clad lap “Better” he looks up to see you smiling at him

“Much, thanks Siri” you scoot with your butt closer to him, wrapping your arms around him

He looks a little surprised but accepts it “What’s this for? If anything, it’s my fault for sleeping in and letting you go shopping yourself” he says kissing the top of your head

You hug him a little tighter before you let go looking up at him “Siri” you give him a look before shaking your head “Nothing” you wave it off going to get up but he stops you

Sirius eyes meet yours and almost like he can read your mind he leans in, pressing his lips to yours in a soft kiss. It’s sweet like he’s testing the waters, and when you don’t pull away he deeps it, pulling you closer to him as his lips begin to move in sync with your own

He rubs his nose with yours as he pulls away “That what you wanted to ask?” he says a little breathless

You smile, you and he were always on the same wavelength which is why he would still love you for this “Nope I was actually going to say that you really do smell like a wet dog now” you test with a teasing grin

He lets out a laugh “Oh really…I’ll show you a wet dog” he smirks wickedly at you

“I hope that’s a very strange euphemism…” then it hits you “Oh no” you scramble up as Sirius shifts, chasing you around the flat as a dog

Eventually you fall over onto the couch turning onto your back as he jumps on top of you licking your face making you laugh

You hold up your hands “I yield, I yield please it tickles” you giggle but it slows as you feel added weight on top of you

Looking up you see Sirius back to his usual self, grinning down a you “Hello” he says in the flirtest tone he’d ever given you

“Hi” your hands move to grip the towel but there was none instead you griped his bare hips

Both of you look down to see Sirius wasn’t concentrating enough to shift back with the towel. His eyes flick to see your reaction, checking you aren’t uncomfortable, smiling to himself at your raised eyebrow, the way your lips are pressed together in an admiring smile

“Like the view darling?” he says confident, leaning in to kiss your forehead

You finally tear your eyes away “You better buy us another a new towel pretty sure that was the last one” you say causally

He pokes his cheek “As long as you dye them pink again, it suits me” he smiles at you

You nod eyes shamelessly flicking down “Deal and pink definitely suits you pretty boy…” you peck his lips “…my pretty boy?” you ask with slight inflection

His smile grows “Hell yeah…and you’re my darling?” he asks in a similar tone to you

“Hell yeah” you copy his enthusiasm and he chuckles “Oh and Siri…” you pull him closer to you

“Yes?” he licks his lips, letting his nose brushing over yours

“Killer view”

Everyone had already seen it coming a mile away and if the two of you were honest you both knew you were headed down this road already. Your dynamic didn’t change much, the two of you were touchier and kissed at every opportunity but you remained best friends, joked around and never bothered to confirm or add labels to anything because the two of you just knew. You and he never spoke about the future, you were still nervous about how he might react when you told him and little did you know he had the same worries.

Sirius never wanted to be a father, he was terrified he would impart his damage onto the child and he knew himself he was far too reckless to be intrusted with one. He bounced around from person to person back at Hogwarts, his relationships barely making it to one month, which is one of the reasons he made yours and his so special. There was this small looming feeling in his gut, he knew he wanted to marry you, spend his life with you and only you, but he didn’t want kids and he was scared when you found out that fact you would leave

“We have a little announcement” James clinks his glass standing up, smiling like a mad man

You and Sirius just smile, his hand squeezing your upper thigh as you turn to listen, Remus, Marlene and Dorca sitting opposite you with Peter on Sirius’ other side. James walks around to Lily’ side, hand going around her waist and then his hand and her touched her…stomach

Your heart fluttered, you knew she had been wanting a baby and been getting worried since it had been almost a year since their wedding, so you were overjoyed for her.

“We’re pregnant” Lily’s says happily, both her and James’ smiles so wide

Marlene and Dorca practically jump up and tackle Lily as gently as they could while Remus stands to go give James a huge hug, followed quickly by you, Sirius and Peter. Soon everyone had given their congratulations as well as many, many hugs and now you were all digging into dinner

“Can’t believe one of us is going to have a little baby” Dorca says super excited, so much so Marlene giggles as she rubs her girlfriends back making sure she doesn’t combust

“I’m so happy for you guys, you’re going to make great parents” Remus says holding up his glass

You and Sirius raise yours and smile but there’s an uneasiness, Sirius’ hand returns to your thigh and yours cups his, both seeking comfort you didn’t know the other needed too

“Thanks guys, my Lilypad going to be the best mum in the world” James smiles fondly at Lily down the table before turning to you and Sirius “What about you two? Should we expect a mini pads or y/n” he wiggles his eyebrows

Your smiles falter but luckily Remus’ joke lightens the mood so you don’t have to answer “Wouldn’t be surprised they’re like bunnies”

“I would have though Sirius would be more…doggy” Marlene teases eying Sirius while the rest laugh

Sirius keeps composed and laughs “Well since you asked we like variety in our lives and sometimes y/n likes to…” your hands claps over Sirius but everyone knows what he meant, Remus, Dorcas and Marlene giving you amused looks, James and Lily just giggle while Peter looks confused before going through the 5 stages of grief when he realises

Both you and Sirius hold each other that little bit tighter the rest of the night, something that both comforts and terrifies you both. As it leaves the two of you wondering if it’s because the other wants to have kids.

When you return to your flat you and he are quiet, which was abnormal. Sirius looked over at you whilst you were getting changed, watching as you fiddled with the top of your shirt unable to quite get the small clasp

“Let me” he says quietly, moving over and easily undoing the fastener

He motions silently for you to lift your arms pulling the shirt over your head before moving around to hook your bra, leaving you to start work on your trousers while he gets changed. As he finishes he sees you in thought as you pull a baggy shirt over your head

“You alright?” he asks softly

You don’t look at him, just move to sit on the edge of the bed

He joins you “What’s wrong?” he cups your hand with his, feeling a little worried, was this it? Were you going to ask him to try, would you leave when he told you no?

Your fingers trail over his hand for a few seconds like your trying to find the words and he waits patiently even if his mind is a run with thoughts

“Siri…I don’t want to have kids” you admit quietly, like it wasn’t the first time you had told someone and you were afraid he would act the way they did

Sirius takes a moment to process before wrapping an arm around your shoulder pulling you towards him and kissing your temple, relief washing over him, always the same wavelength

“You aren’t…disappointed right?” you face him, melting under his warm eyes

He shakes his head, hand cupping your cheek “No of course not” he assures, kissing your forehead “I…”

“No” you cut him off, confusing him “Please don’t say I can wait until you’re ready because…I don’t want kids. Ever. I’m happy being Harrys godmother, I’m happy to babysit but I…I…wouldn’t make a good mum and I don’t want to be one” you can’t look at him as you speak scared this will be the end

He tilts your head to look at him, heart aching at your glassy eyes “Darling that’s okay. I was going to say that’s good because I don’t want to be a dad either” he confesses

Your shoulders relax “Really?” you ask and when he nods you climb over his lap and hug him

He hugs you back right away “You’d still marry me though?” he asks half serious

You break away, cupping his cheeks “When you ask me I’ll say yes”

You did end up getting married the following year, a few months after Harry was born. Everything was good for a while, until just after Harrys first birthday and everything began to fall apart. Marlene died first, you and Dorca where the ones to find her. Dorcas screams were something you would never forget, nor would you ever forgive yourself for not stopping her before she apparated, as she died less than a week later seeking vengeance on the one that killed the love of her life…little did you know that person was closer than you thought.

Remus went into isolation, Frank and Alice continued to fight but were wary for their son’s safety and the Prewett brothers were killed, then James, Lily and Harry needed to go into hiding. Dumbledore asked them to appoint a secret keeper, or keepers, he offered but of course James and lily wanted you and Sirius first. However, after much thought you decided it was too obvious so you asked Peter

Less than one week later, the spell concealing them was broken and your friends were murdered

The night of their death you and Sirius rushed to Peters hideout, under the impression Voldemort had got to him first but you were met with an empty hideout, no signs of struggle and evidence in the form of letters that your close friend, a brother to you both was a traitor. Sirius spent the next 30 minutes smashing everything in the room while you just sat and watched, heart shattered into pieces

“We need to find him, he needs to pay” Sirius says after a while, exasperated and beyond angry

You stare at him for a minute, he was right peter deserved to suffer but not at your hands, you had to be smart about this “We can’t”

“We can’t? Y/n he killed our friends!”

“He’s been a mole for months, possibility years, you don’t think he’s thought this through?” you stand up pointing to the letters “No one but us know he’s a mole Sirius, if we go on a blind revenge trip, we will slip up and he can easily frame us or we’ll get ourselves killed. How does that help Harry, or Moony or Alice and Frank if we go to Azkaban?”

“He killed Marlene y/n you read the letter she was his initiation…no wonder there was no forced entry she let him in the house!” he exclaims and you grimace

“Sirius I fucking know that, I saw her body, she didn’t even have her wand in her hand. Trust me I want him dead but we need to go to Dumbledore and explain, show him the letters, let what’s left of the order search for him. We’ve lost what feels like everyone Sirius, but if we go down that road be will actually lose everything”

After some more convincing Sirius reluctantly came home with you, he was still angry but after a few hours of forced sleep he realised you were right and was beyond grateful. In the light of day, it was announced Voldemort had been defeated by none other than your godson, some death eaters didn’t stop though Bellatrix, Barty Crouch Jr and the Lastrange brothers kidnapped Frank and Alice. Luckily you, Sirius and Mary managed to get there and save them since the hideout was detailed in on of Peters letters, the couple were beaten up, tortured but they would be okay in the long run.

Dumbledore came to you and Sirius after having Harry in his care for the last 24 hours, with Peter officially on their most wanted list, you and he were granted custody if you wanted it, if not he would give the boy to Lily’s sister. You had met the women once when you had helped Lily move her childhood stuff to her new house, she was cold and hated wizards with a passion that rivalled Snape’s for James, therefore, despite your fears and you both agreed, it’s what they would have wanted.

There was a learning curve to being a mum and dad neither you are Sirius knew about, in fact you both just sat staring at Harry as he played on the opposite couch

“This seems rather simple right?” Sirius asks looking a bit nervous

You bob your head “He seems to be enjoying himself” despite your agreement you felt sick, what if you were a bad mother, there was no way you could live up to Lily and it felt wrong to even call yourself the ‘m’ word when that belonged to your late friend

“Should we feed him soon? There’s a bunch of those little jars they used to feed him with” Sirius says and your hearts ache, neither of you had said their names, knowing that saying them out loud would be admitting they were truly gone and you were ready for that

“Good idea…” you trail off seeing Harry scrunching up his face like he was concentrating…oh he was pooping, wasn’t he? “Oh merlin” you say to yourself

“I’ll get the food ready shall I?” Sirius escapes before you can stop him

“Siri” you plead but he offered no response

Sighing you stand and walk over to Harry who does have the most adorable pout on his face “Hi kid” you greet “Shit yourself?” you joke before your eyes widen “Don’t say shit” you point at him to which he just looks at you strangely

You let out a nervous chuckle awkwardly lifting him into your arms and making the mistake of holding him by the butt, feeling the squish

“Aww fuck…don’t say fuck either” you warn him earning again another weird look

Carrying him through to his bedroom, well your guest room which had a half-built crib you gave up on erecting, a changing table and some cans of yellow paint, you place him down on the table

You began to change his diaper, well attempt with the best can do attitude

“Oh good heavens Harry” you half gagged at the smell, looking down at the nappy “What in merlin did you eat?” you ask him like he could answer you

You didn’t really know how to talk to kids, you weren’t the baby talk kind of person, you talked to him normally, it was weird but later you would learn that Harry loved that about you

“Right so we will take this” you take off the diaper holding it far away from your face as you fold it up and put it in the little bin “Okay now to clean you up” you pull out some baby wipes and clean him up “See fresh as a daisy” you smile “Well…until the next time anyway” you add and he tilts his head at you

You hadn’t noticed Sirius was now leaning on the doorframe watching you with a curious smile

“Okay now” you stare at the new diaper “Do you know if it has a specific way around?” you ask him leaving some space for him to answer which is filled by a little babble “Your right I should check the box” you take it reading it for instructions placing it on the table as you try to follow them

Sirius tilts his head as he hears you swear to yourself, asking Harry if he would be willing to be dangled over the toilet so you didn’t have to do this again. He had never imagined either of you as parents, you as a mother but watching you it light something in him he didn’t know was there. He was nervous sure, his insecurities weren’t going away any time soon but he knew it was going to be alright, you would get there together

“Done…I think” you say picking up and shaking him up and down softly “Look at that” you smile proudly as you look over and finally spot Sirius

He has a look in his eyes you can’t quite read but you like it that was until he started chuckling

“What?” you pout at him

He nods to Harry and you look sighing as the diaper as slipped off “Oh for Godric’s sake” you say before eyeing Harry “Siri why does he look confused? He…” you begin but are cut off as he starts peeing and you just nod as it covers your front, accepting it while Sirius is fully in laughter

Eventually you did learn and become an expert at changing diapers, Sirius was better at it though and offered most times to change harry when He cried during the night. You both were exhausted but got into a routine, they two of you were stay at home parents thanks to Sirius’ uncle’s money you wanted for nothing…well actually wanted sleep maybe a long lie in past four in the morning

One day Sirius had taken Harry out to visit Remus, leaving you in the house yourself. You would have gone but after some dire cramps in the morning Sirius insisted you stay and rest, of course the silence was nice for all of one hour before the novelty ran off

“Has that window always been brown…I could have sworn it was white” you say to yourself as you sat on the couch with your little water bottle, some muggle show about antiques playing in the background “Maybe we should paint it white” you muse

After spending around 30 minutes deciding whether or not to actually do it you figure that’s probably not the best job to start yourself and instead go get started on dinner. You took out one of the little recipes from Lily’s old book, your fingers tracing over the writing before you placed it down and got out what was needed for her soup.

“Seems about right?” you mutter to yourself as you measure the last of the ingredients before giving the stock a good stir

Cutting up the veggies you put them in a little bowl until the base had boiled, dancing around the kitchen to the radio as you went but it wasn’t the same as it was before. The house still felt quiet, you missed them, both of them. In the last few months you grew used to Harrys presence but you didn’t feel connected with him, not like Sirius did anyway. He could make Harry laugh, rock him to sleep, do everything a dad should be able to do yet you felt like you were holding an alien sometimes. He wouldn’t laugh just watch you…to be honest you wouldn’t be surprised if he thought you were the alien

Sirius had Harry on his hip as he came in the door “You get any bigger Harry I’m going to need to visit the gym” he says to himself as he puts the chain on

Walking deeper into the flat he was going to call out when he heard you singing along to dancing queen on the radio

“Young and sweet only seventeen”

He smiled turning to Harry “She’s still as pretty as she was at seventeen, more so actually” he tells Harry who tilts his head and smiles

Sirius walks to the door of the kitchen to watch you dancing about

“Watch that scene”

“Gladly darlin” he says to himself eliciting the smallest of giggles from Harry who also watches you intently

“You're a teaser, you turn 'em on”

You sing as you pick up the bowl of veggies and begin pouring them in

“Leave 'em burning … oh fuck don’t burn me merlin” your whole-body jerks back as you continue to drop them in, cowering behind the bowl to avoid the boiling liquid splashing

Sirius bites his lip “That’s my dancing queen” he lets out a chuckles

Harrys birthday rolled around soon enough and you, Sirius and Remus took him on a trip down diagon alley, which was easier said than done as he had become rather adapt at walking and mini sprints away

“Would it be inappropriate to get him a lead?” Sirius asks as he watches you run after him this time

Remus lets out a huff of a chuckle “Ironic considering James suggested that to you once” he says with an amused smile seeing you have caught up and are carrying him

Sirius lets out a small laugh but his heart aches at the mention os his name. It warmed and destoryed him that Harry was the spitting image and those big green eyes reminded him so much of one of the best women he’d ever had the pleasure of knowing

“You know…Kid!” you say as the boy scrambles in your grasp trying to hug you like a kola “You know maybe he needs a lead or something…I swear he’s like a little rocket” you shake your head, voice shaky as you let Harry wrap his arms around your front like he was a backpack

Sirius smiles at you while Remus shakes his head

“I swear you two are turning into each other” Remus notes

You give your husband a funny look while he just winks at you “So where do you want to go first?”

“There’s a gallery down the way, with an ice cream shop across from it so i was thinking...”

Harrys head lifts from the crook of your neck “Ice-cream, ice-cream, ice-cream!” he exclaims giddily cutting you off

He didn’t have the biggest vocabulary but he could say some words perfectly and those included ice-cream, Siri, y/n, Remmy, doggie and chocolate, yes Remus was certainly to blame for the last one but the extra treats did give harry the cutest chubby cheeks so you forgave him

“Looks like he’s made up his mind” Sirius chuckles, giving Harrys hair a little ruffle and a kiss to the cheek while your give him a little pout “What?”

You turn up your nose “Nothing I just see how it is” you try to keep a straight face but he can see the tiny smile

“Oh darling do you want some sugar?” he says coyly in a tone that Harry finds funny

Remus rolls his eyes, taking Harry from your grasp but you are too distracted with Sirius to see his saddened pout and attempt at grabby hands

“I’m going to head to get us some sweets” Remus announces walking away with Harry who cuddles into Remus but leans his head on his shoulder and watches you and Sirius forlornly

Sirius places his hands on your hips “Sorry darling” he apologises

You keep up the charade “That’s not going to cut it” you cross your arms yet you can feel yourself melting into his touch and oh does he know it

He kisses your cheek and you give him a little dissatisfied hum in response, he then kisses your other cheek and you repeat the noise but need to press your lips together to prevent the smile trying to take over your face. He kisses your nose and then rubs his with yours cauing the smile to slip out but you recover

“Nope” you pop the ‘p’

He chuckles pecking your lips before it comes to him “I have something” he poses

“What?” you eye him

He leans in to whisper in your ear, breath trailing down your neck “Dishes for a week” he proposes

You finally let yourself smile “You got yourself a deal” you look at him triumphantly before kissing his cheek and walking off after Remus

Sirius stands there for a moment then jogs to catch up with you “You did that on purpose didn’t you?” he says taking your hand in his

You smirk at him “Oh yeah” you nod, pleased with yourself “Also” you stop just before entering the shop “Remus is staying this weekend and the Longbottom’s are coming for a playdate…” you push open the door looking back “and will be staying for dinner too” you throw him a wink as you enter

Sirius looks at you in faux annoyance but he couldn’t stay annoyed for long as he enters the shop, seeing Harry waddle over and show you with a cone that’s basically the size of him.

He felt so happy at the scene but he felt guilty at times like this. He loved the chaotic little family you and he had been given but it was bittersweet knowing it should have been Lily and James. He didn’t know being a father figure would be so rewarding, nor did he think you and he would do as good a job…well he didn’t think he would do a good job because he could see how Harry lit up around you, the way Harry gravitated towards you more, something he was more than happy with as he could see sometimes you still had fears

You dropped your keys into the little dish as you entered the apartment, hearing Harrys distant giggles. You smiled to yourself closing your eyes briefly as your heart warmed at the sound. Walking deeper into the flat you entered the living room expecting your husband to be watching cartoons or something but instead you were greeted with your husband in his Padfoot form with Harry clutching onto the fur of his back as they trotted around the room

You didn’t know whether to be angry or laugh, you would be a liar if you and Sirius hadn’t joked about doing that to Lily and James but now you were in the parent seat and suddenly you could see the corners of the tables and every little thing that could go wrong…was this mum mode?

You could tell by Sirius’ grey eyes peering at you he had been caught, clearly not expecting you back so soon as he stops in his tracks

“Y-Y/n!! Look at me” Harry says cutely as he spots you, looking happier than the sun

Your heart is a puddle on the floor around you though “I see you” you say with a smile you can’t peel off your face but your tone is a little wary

“M-” Harry starts trying to wave but ends up falling off of Sirius, it’s a small fall but to you it was like he fell off a building

“Kid!” you stumble over, knees hitting the floor as you look at him in panic

The boy looks up at you just as you feel Sirius shift bac, both of you wincing as you wait for the tears but instead your met with little claps and giggling

“Again, again!” Harry says happily

You and Sirius sigh in relief “See he’s fine” Sirius ways a little out of puff

Nudging him with your elbow you scold him “Fine this time but what were you thinking”

You turn back to Harry scooping the boy into your arms and holding him to your chest, something the boy doesn’t protest in the slightest while Sirius just looks at you a little nervous at your tone but his heart fluttering at how mum-sey you are being

“He is 3 Siri, what if he hit his perfect little head, or what if he hurt your back and you couldn’t shift…he’s too young for this kind of thing” you say firmly with a pout as you cuddle Harry hand going to the back of his head

Sirius licks his lips and let takes a deep breath “Sorry darling” he caresses your cheek with his thumb, wiping it over the skin gently “He was upset we saw a dog in the park and didn’t have one, I just wanted to cheer him up” he explains but even though your face softens you give him a look “It won’t happen again” that you’ll know of

“It better not eh Kid” you pull Harry back to look at him “Because there will be no Siri and Y/n alone time for a month if it does” you smile scrunching up your nose at the boy making him smile and nod

Sirius gives you a tight-lipped smile “Rather harsh” he mopes lightly

You give harry a cheeky look before sticking your tongue out at Sirius, not seeing Harry copying your movements

People noticed you and Sirius never used the words mummy or daddy in front of Harry, which meant the boy never used them because he simply never heard them used to describe you both. Even 3 years after their death you never used the terms, parents? Sure. Guardians? Definitely. But mum and dad? Never

“Sirius” Remus asks as he digs into his lunch, watching you eating with Harry on the couch as he watches some cartoons, although according to Sirius you enjoyed them more than the boy did

“Yeah” Sirius replies swiping his lip with his thumb then sucking off the sauce

“Why do you not use mum and dad to Harry” he says turning his gaze to his friend “I’ve been wondering for years”

Sirius’ eyes flick between a blissful you and Harry to Remus, finally settling on the latter “To start it felt wrong considering the circumstances, but now?…I want to call her it...” he confesses “...just not sure if she’s ready for it”

Remus nods but there’s a surprise in his face “She’s an amazing mother” he compliments

Sirius smiles “She is” he agrees wholeheartily before speaking lower “Remus we never told you this…I never told you this”

“What?” Remus tilts his head

He takes a breath “You remember how you all used to joke about a mini pads or y/n” Remus nods “Well we never wanted that, we never wanted children”

Remus’ eyes widen a little “I get that” he says truly “Get that more than most but…you seem happy raising him now, you both do” his eyes flick to you as he says the last part

Sirius places his hand over Remus’ giving it a squeeze before retracting it again “I am, I like...I like being a dad” Remus smiles “And I think she likes being a mum, I just…I think she’s still scared she isn’t doing a good job”

“Seriously?”

“Siriusly” they chuckle lightly before Sirius looks at you sadly “I found her crying a few nights ago while Harry slept”

“A few nights ago was…”

“Red’s birthday” his eyes go glassy with forming tears “She was apologising to him, wishing she could be the mother he deserved, scared that she’s doing it all wrong”

Remus’ eyebrows knit together, heart aching as he watches you put Harrys plate down and let him sit on your lap as you continue watching

“She hides it well” Sirius says drawing the man’s eyes back to him “I really hope she sees what we see one day”

That day didn’t come for another year and over that year leading up to it your little family only got closer. You took Harry on plently of days out, both wizard and muggle activities just like James and Lily would have wanted, he was allowed to play with Sirius as Padfoot, even walking him along with you in the park, something you teased Sirius about rotten.

Something you didn’t know was that Sirius had slipped saying the ‘m’ word when describing you to Harry on occasion, the first time he didn’t mean it but over time he grew to adore that word for you and hoped you would too

“You okay?” you ask coming up behind Sirius on the bed, arms slithering under his arms as you plant a kiss to his bare shoulder

He hums as you begin to put his hair in a braid for bed “Harrys down but it’s the thunder, I can already hear it…times like this I hate Padfoot” he shuffles uneasily as he hears another rumble

You lift the completed braid and kiss below his ear “Don’t worry I’ll happily be big spoon tonight for my brave…” you kiss him again further down his neck “…little…” you kiss his jaw as he turns his head “…puppy” you peck his lips

He smiles at you “Merlin I love you” he twists his body around to hug you properly

“Love you too pup”

You and Sirius settle into bed, his head on your chest, arms wrapped around you with his legs entangled with your own while your arms hold him protectively, soothing his hair with your fingers as he shivers with each grumble.

You both were about to fall asleep when you heard the door creak open, your head turned and Sirius shifted his around still on your chest but he could now see the door. Your hearts aching as you see a sniffling Harry clutching his little deer teddy to his chest

“What’s wrong kid you have a nightmare” you ask softly, you hated seeing him upset it broke your own heart

He shakes his head “The noises…are…are scary” he pouts wiping his nose with his shirt “Can I sleep with you” he asks and how could neither of you could ever say no too

“Of course” you tell him gesturing for him to join while Sirius shifts off of you and opens up the covers

He practically jumps into the bed looking happier than before, kneeling beside you with Sirius on the other side and you shift so he can snuggle into your husband

“Who do you want to cuddle with?” Sirius asks with a knowing smile

Harry doesn’t answer just falls into you, clutching your pyjama shirt with one hand and his teddy with the other, while you freeze looking at Sirius who just kisses your cheek like he expected it. Your eyes returned to the boy and you smile as you wrap one arm around him, heart-warming as he nuzzles into you.

“Come here pup” you say quietly to Sirius and let him cuddle into your other side, giving both of their head’s kisses, your boys

“Night Siri, night kid”

“Night darlin” Sirius leans up and gives you a quick peck “Night Harry” he brushes the boys hair gently making him smile

“Night” Harry says to Sirius before propping his head up to look at you “Night mummy” he says with the cutest tone then cuddles into you, quickly falling asleep

Your mouth was agape, tears forming as you looked at Sirius ‘did he?’ you mouth

Sirius nods shifting upwards in the bed to whisper in your ear “You’re a good mum y/n” he kisses your cheek “And it’s okay for us to be his mum and dad” he affirms

You let a small tear fall as you hug Harry tightly “But…”

He wipes the tear “It’s okay, I like…I love being his dad, and I know James and Lily would be happy knowing that” he says softly, finally saying their names and it feels like a weight is lifted, a weight that had been holding you both down since that awful night

You look at Harry then your husband “I love being his mum too” you confess, a smile breaking across your face as you say it, eyes closing

“You want to use the names from now on?” he asks quietly, Harrys light snores in the background

“I’d like that” you nod

Thank you for reading 💛

#sirius black and reader #sirius black x reader #sirius black and y/n #sirius black and you #sirius black x you #sirius black x y/n #sirius x reader #sirius x you #sirius x y/n #Sirius Black #sirius black fanfiction #dad sirius black #sirius black husband #sirius raising harry #harry potter and reader #Marauders #marauders era

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lame-adventures · 3 years

Text

Authors Note: So I know this is more than a week late but I got really busy and haven’t had a chance to publish it until now. I considered abandoning this, but I want to make it apart of holiday themed series. Enjoy!

A perfect Halloween

October 31st, 2020 - A Muggle Quarantine AU

“Oh bloody hell.” Lily murmured to herself, taking in the messy sight of her bathroom. “James! Harry! Get your butts in here.” She stuck her head out the bathroom door and hollered down the hallway.

“Yes love?” James Potter said, clambering down the hallway, holding his two year old daughter at his waist.

“What is it Mum?” Harry asked politely, hoping to avoid an overly-dramatic scolding from a nine-month pregnant Lily Potter.

“Someone care to explain?” Lily said, gesturing to the mess scattered throughout their bathroom.

Wet towels sat in piles on the floor, a whole roll of toilet paper was wrapped across the sink and shaving cream had been sprayed into the toilet itself.

“What the-?”James began, stopping himself from cussing in front of his children.

“Mum you’re a nutter. I would never.” Harry began lamely, rolling his eyes.

Lily eyed him suspiciously, her thirteen year old boy had been known to stir up quite a bit of mischief. And being quarantined inside for the past eight months, had spurred a new level of prankster in the boy.

(Of course it didn’t help that her husband egged on their child every chance he got.)

“Harry James.” James began sternly, his daughter shyly nuzzling her head deep into his shoulder. “This is too far.”

“I didn’t do that.” Harry whined, “I’m not a bloody child.”

“Oi. Language!” Lily snapped at him, she crossed her arms delicately on top of her protruding belly, and tapped her foot anxiously.

“Well? Who did this then?” James asked, setting down the two year old Sophie.

“Why doesn’t Hannah ever get this sort of inquisition?” Harry asked, referring to his eleven year old sister.

“Why are you using words like inquisition?” Lily asked while James bellowed down the stairs for Hannah to join them upstairs.

The Potter’s were, of course, a very rambunctious bunch. Constantly bugging each other and playing childish pranks. But Hannah took after her Mother, the same brightly colored ginger hair and vivid green eyes. Childish pranks were not Hannah’s forte, and her eyes went wide at the mess of the bathroom once she finally met the rest of her family upstairs.

“Oh,” She said, somewhat sheepishly, eyes turned downwards. “That was Sophie.”

“Soph?” James asked incredulously, the two year old in question cowered behind her Mother’s legs.

“Yup it was all Sophie. I saw her a little while ago, before you guys got up.” Hannah tattled.

“And why? In Gods name,” Lily began lowly, “did you not stop her?”

“Or get us?”

“Not my responsibility,” Hannah said firmly placing her hands on her hips.

“Han.” Harry said lowly. “You know this isn’t fair to Mum and Dad.”

“Well Dad kept yelling at me for being a tattletale.” She replied, a knowing smirk growing on her face. It was true in fact, that James had scolded her several times over the past few months for consistent need to tell her Mum and Dad whenever Harry did something slightly wrong.

“Welp. I’m going to put Soph in time out.” Lily said, bending down slightly to pick up the two year old who now sat innocently on the floor, sucking contently on her pacifier and purposely ignoring the conflict in front of her.

“You got this?” Lily asked James, before walking down the long hallway to their shared bedroom.

Lily heard yelling and groaning behind her as she shut the bedroom door, eyeing the armchair that sat in the corner of her bedroom. It had a pile of clothes on it, and with her free arm, Lily pushed the clothes on to the floor and set the squirmy toddler down.

She squatted as best as she could, with her large tummy in the way, and met Sophie’s eye level.

“You do not play in the bathroom.” Lily spoke sternly. “You do not make messes.”

The toddler stared at her mother, suppressing a smile as she sucked on her pacifier.

“This is not funny Sophie Lynn Potter.”

Sophie squealed in response, and Lily groaned loudly in frustration, standing up and pulling the pacifier out of Sophie’s mouth. This prompted the girl to begin screaming, and Lily walked towards her dressing table in agitation.

Her baby sat low inside her, kicking a sore spot near her ribs all morning, and Lily was in no mood to put up with screaming a two year old and bickering children.

It was the morning Halloween; normally her kids would be bouncing with excitement at the thought of classroom Halloween parties, and a night of trick or treating. Unfortunately this year, their new normal involved isolation inside their home while the world raged on outside in a mix of political chaos and a health crisis.

Lily still shudders thinking back to March earlier that year, in the same week the world had shut down and Lily had found out she was pregnant with her fourth child.

For the safety of both her and her unborn baby it was decided Lily would not leave their home at all, lest she come into contact with the virus. And Therefore, Lily has not left her home in eight months.

She looked sadly into her mirror, and took in her worn down appearance. At 33, Lily was at the typical age in which one would have babies. She was always attending some sort of baby shower event for her work colleagues, so getting pregnant at this age was completely normal. Of course she and James had done things a bit out of the normal when they started their family. James was at university, working on being scouted by some of the national football teams, while Lily was working towards a degree in journalism. They had only been dating for eight months when Lily fell pregnant for the first time. They were terrified of course, having a child so young, with so many unknowns of their future hanging in front of them. But once Lily gave birth to Harry, and she held him in her arms for the first time, they fell in love with the baby boy.

James earned a spot on Manchester United’s team, as a second string forward, and Lily got a job as a political commentator for BuzzFeed England. They bought a three story townhouse in the bustling downtown area of Manchester and got married on a chilly Halloween night, soon after they learned that Lily was once again pregnant.

Hannah was born, and for eight years the young family of four lived boisterously and happily. Her friends fawned over her children, and her co-workers cooed in delight when she announced once again she was pregnant when she was 30.

Sophie joined the Potter family in May, albeit her addition was unexpected, and Lily’s children were thrown for a loop with the shock of having to share their parents. Sophie was welcomed with so much overwhelming love that the youngest Potter quickly became spoiled with attention.

When the world locked down, and the five Potter’s learned that they would become six, Lily had been shaken with anxiety this time around. Frustrated with her government, growing bored with being home bound and irritated with her kids constantly yelling, Lily felt like crying.

She buried her face in her hands, and felt her baby kick her gently on the inside. She smiled softly, with as shitty as 2020 had been, there would definitely be a good ending for the Potter family.

James walked into the room, and pointedly ignored the screaming two year old. James and Lily quickly learned that the best way to deal with Sophie’s tantrums was to not give her the attention she was acting out for.

He walked around the side of the bed and wrapped his arms around Lily.

“Happy Anniversary love.” He said, kissing her cheek. “I’m sorry our kids had to start the day out like this.”

“Eh,” she shrugged, sinking into his arms. “I’d be bored without the chaos.”

She moved away from him, peeling off the large tee-shirt she had stolen from him years earlier and threw on a bright orange sweater. A big pumpkin displayed proudly across her belly.

“I made Hannah clean up, Harry is supervising.”

“That’ll end well I’m sure.” She laughed, throwing her hair up into a sloppy ponytail.

“You still up for our plans tonight?” He asked, scooping up Sophie in his arms once she finally stopped crying, and sitting down in the arm chair. He picked up the remote and flicked on the Telly to the morning news.

“Yes, It’ll have to get done soon anyways.” She said, patting her tummy, and smiling when she felt a small kick near her hand. The baby was due in two weeks, and they had yet to put the nursery together.

With four children, their house would quickly become crowded and James had taken to several quarantine projects in effort to make more room for his family. He began with converting the upstairs attack into a room for Harry, complete with his own Telly, a new gaming system and a mini fridge. James then began the task of converting Harry’s old bedroom into a nursery for the new baby.

They had decided to wait on the sex of their child, and opted to paint the bedroom yellow. Marlene had come by a week prior and painted a mural of characters from Lily’s favorite book to read to her kids, Winnie the Pooh.

Harry and Hannah would be spending the evening at the Weasley’s and James’ Mother would be stopping by this afternoon to pick up Sophie for an evening of spoiling, giving James and Lily some much needed alone time. They had incredibly exciting plans, of eating take-away and preparing the nursery.

Soon enough, James had declared he was taking Harry and Hannah to the market to do a little bit of shopping, and Lily sat at home with Sophie. She planted the child in front of the Telly in her bedroom, whilst Lily sat on her bed, editing her latest article for Buzzfeed. This was the last article she had to write before starting maternity leave, and she was hellbent in making it one of her best ones yet.

Her back ached, and she sighed as she noticed Sophie beginning to get restless. Quarantine had been rough for everyone, and being locked up with a whiny toddler began to take a toll only Lily’s nerves.

She slammed her laptop shut and sighed out in frustration, taking in the sight of her daughter. The girl mimicked her Mother, with curly red hair and freckles skin. But she took James' playful smile, and his aptitude for mischief. It wasn’t Sophie’s fault that she misbehaved so often of course, she was bored. Two year olds needed to be out exploring the world, and Sophie was locked inside with her anxious parents.

When the shut downs began, Lily was still required to work. Most days, she was shut away, writing articles and having conferences over zoom. James hasn’t worked since March, and he was tasked with entertaining the kids most days.

Thankfully Harry and Hannah could occupy themselves with school, and once summer came around they got to see their friends again.

But poor Sophie rarely got the sole attention from her Mother anymore, and so Lily took this as an opportunity to spend some much needed one on one time with her youngest daughter.

They made sugar cookies, and the rest of her family came home to find Lily and Sophie sitting in a mess of orange icing, surrounded by dozens of pumpkin shaped cookies.

James presented Lily with a bouquet of sunflowers and she squealed in delight when Harry gave her a box of chocolates and a card.

“It’s from all of us.” He said nonchalantly. “Happy Anniversary.”

James grinned, rustling Harry’s hair and pointed towards a framed photo on the wall next to the stove. It was of James, Lily and Harry as a baby. The day they got married.

“It’s a shame you don’t remember it. You were throwing up from all the cake Uncle Sirius let you eat.”

“It was a beautiful day.” Lily said, shoving a cookie towards Harry. “Let’s not dwell on when Harry threw up all over me.”

At three that afternoon, Mia Potter entered their home, with bags of Halloween treats for Harry and Hannah. She came with her digital camera, demanding the kids get dressed in their costumes for an impromptu Halloween photo op. James had struggled to get Sophie into her Peppa Pig costume, and Harry and Hannah had squeezed into their wizard costumes from the previous year.

Lily begrudgingly got through the picture part of the afternoon, and sat patiently in the living room while James served the tea.

“Any signs of arrival?” Mia asked, the elder Mrs Potter was nearing eighty now. She waited nearly fifty years for her only son, and was more than thrilled when her grandchildren had been born.

“Not yet,” Lily said. “Unfortunately. I’m starting to feel like I’ll be pregnant forever. But I’m trying to enjoy it, because this is definitely the last one.”

“You said that after Hannah.” Mia reminded her.

“We mean it this time.” James said, sitting next to Lily and handing her a mug of tea. “We are stopping at four.”

“Yeah we are out of room here.” Harry said assuredly. “And you don’t want to turn into the Weasley’s.”

James laughed at that, he couldn’t even fathom seven children. The thought of having four was already quelling lots of new anxieties.

“Oh well. I’ve already got four perfect grandchildren.” Mia said, standing up and patting Hannah on the head.

“We best be getting off though, I have quite the evening planned for this sweet girl.” She said, picking up Sophie and kissed her cheek.

Lily kissed her goodbye, and made her way to the kitchen while James accompanied his Mother outside.

“Harry go help Mum clean up.” She heard Hannah whine.

“Well why don’t you?”

“You two better not bring this bickering over to the Weasley’s.” Lily interrupted the brewing fight.

“Sorry Mum.” Hannah said sheepishly, taking the kettle of her Mother’s hands. “We’ll behave.” She said pointedly, staring at Harry.

“Yes. I promise.” Harry said, kissing his mother’s cheek. “Enjoy your night with Dad.”

“What time are they expecting you lot?” Lily asked, leading the way to the kitchen.

“Dad said he’ll drive us over there at seven.” Harry said, moving to load the dishwasher.

“Make sure you take some of those cookies over there with you.” Lily said, it broke her heart slightly. That her kids were at the age where they would rather spend Halloween with their friends rather than their parents.

Halloween had always been a bit of a weird holiday for the Potter’s. It began in their first year of University, when James and Lily met at a party that James and his friends were throwing. Remus had practically begged Lily to join him at their party, insisting she would get along greatly with his friends. Lily’s roommate Marlene had excitedly encouraged Lily to “get drinks and get laid.” Lily did get laid that night, after immediately hitting it off with James. They spent hours talking together, laughing and drinking and dancing. They ended up in bed, in a drunken tangle of limbs, and Lily fell in love. (James had been in love the moment he laid eyes on her.)

The second Halloween spent together was presumed to be when Harry was conceived, again at a party that James had been throwing. Sirius had given Lily a brownie with a little “surprise ingredient,” and she had failed to make sure that James was using a condom that night.

They would never forget their fourth Halloween together. It left a number of scars, and an emotional strain on the young couple for years to come. It had begun with a disasterly dreadful dinner with her sister and her oaf of a husband. They had met at a posh restaurant near Lily’s hometown and the night had ended with Lily in tears after Petunia’s verbal attack. It was the same old conversation; that Lily was a disappointment to her Mother, that Lily was a freak, a failure. A slut for having a baby at such a young age.

She was silent as she walked to the car, hand in hand with James while he struggled to carry their crying infant son at his hip. She insisted on driving, that driving was calming, and James didn’t want to upset her further. He strapped his son into his car seat and climbed into the front seat, plugging in his phone and scrolling through his playlist to find Lily’s favorite artist.

He didn’t notice the red light, the rain was coming down too hard and he was focused on trying to calm the screaming baby in the back. A truck had barreled into them, flipping their car and nearly killing the young family.

Harry was left with a terrible scar on his forehead. The baby had a concussion and slept for days after the accident. James too had a concussion, and shattered his arm. Lily had been in a coma for nearly a month.

They nearly died that Halloween, James and Lily shudder at the thought of everything they could have lost. And they are thankful everyday for the family that they have.

The following year they decided to make Halloween into a happy memory. That morning Lily had taken a pregnancy test and a pink plus sign glared back at her. She cried for most of the morning, frustrated with her inability to use contraception. James was quick to ease Lily’s frustrations, reminding her that they wanted more kids in the future anyways, and that Harry was unplanned and ‘look at how good we are at making babies’. They took Harry Trick or Treating for the first time, dressed in a dog costume and laughed at Uncle Sirius’ tricks.

Afterwards they eloped, James had declared that they waited long enough, and they found a twenty four hour chapel. Halloween was the anniversary of when they met, and when they became a family. It was the day their family lived, and the day that their family was growing. It was the perfect day to get married.

Halloween in 2020 would be different of course. Harry and Hannah hadn’t bought costumes that year, and Sophie would miss out on her first chance to go trick or treating. Lily sat at her kitchen table and thought about this sadly, she had a few hours left before Harry and Hannah left and she wanted to make the most of it.

“Would you like to watch a movie?” She asked, smiling at her kids as they finished cleaning up from their afternoon tea.

“Erm.” Harry said, anxious to get upstairs on his Xbox before he left tonight.

“Han? C’mon guys. We never get time like this. We can watch something scary.”

Hannah agreed, and after Lily said she would make cheesy popcorn, Harry agreed too.

James joined them, and excitedly picked out The Conjuring declaring that Hannah was old enough to watch it.

Lily sat contently, as her daughter curled up next to her and they shared a bowl of popcorn. She observed James as he sat cross legged on the floor, leaning up against the couch, throwing popcorn at Harry.

Lily dozed off after a while, and her family dared not to wake her. Once the credits rolled, Lily stirred and found Harry and Hannah at the front door with their overnight bags.

“Behave.” She told Harry sternly, “I don’t want any calls from Mrs.Weasley tonight. Got it?”

“Got it.”

“I’ll keep an eye on him Mum.”

“Please don’t.” James interjected, “that will just cause a fight. Don’t embarrass yourselves.”

Hannah rolled her eyes, and Lily laughed as she planted one last kiss on her daughter’s forehead.

“Any requests for dinner love?” James asked her before leaving to drive the kids to the Weasley's.

“Something fried.” Lily said, shutting the door behind him.

By the end of the night Lily was ready to sleep for a century. Once James had returned with bags of take-away, she had eaten her weight in fish and chips and spent the rest organizing the nursery. James had mastered putting cribs together by now, and had easily built this new one within an hour. He had put together the dresser, and was now working on the changing table while Lily began to organize the drawers of the dresser.

“You know this is probably going to be the last time we are alone for a long time.” James said, sitting down on the floor and throwing his tools back into the tool box.

“Yeah.” She bit her lip sadly, things were about to get chaotic. They both knew that when they decided to have a fourth baby. “I just wish this was happening at a different time. I mean I won’t even be able to give birth in a hospital. It’s really scary.”

“It’ll be alright.” He said, she moved to sit down next to him. It was awkward of course, she moved slowly, and James reached his arm around her waist to help steady her to the ground. She sat with her legs stretched out infront of her, and her hands resting carelessly on top of her belly.

“Just a few more weeks.” James mused, setting his hand on top of hers. “Are you nervous?”

“Very.” She nodded.

“Me too. But it’ll be fine.” He willed himself to believe it. He had hoped that the pandemic would have been controlled enough by now that Lily would be able to go to the hospital to deliver their baby. But her doctor had advised against it, saying that Lily was healthy enough to deliver on her own and to do so in a hospital would be an unnecessary risk.

“We have a plan for the moment labor starts. Mum, Sirius, and Marlene are ready to spring into action the second we call them.” James spoke simply, the best way to calm down a spiraling Lily was to talk her through it.

He turned his head to kiss her on the temple, and he softly whispered into her hair. “You’ve done this three times already Lil. You’re great at it. Everything will be okay.”

“I guess it will be kinda nice being at home this time. And in my own bed.” She said lowly.

“See? Look on the bright side. And just think love, in a few weeks she’ll be here and things will be better. I promise you.”

Lily looked at him incredulously, “she?”

“Yea. She. It’s a girl, I know it.”

“It’s a boy James. We’ve talked about this.”

“Blah blah. ‘Mothers intuition’ and all that.” He rolled his eyes, “you have been wrong about our other two girls. I don’t trust your intuition.”

“I want Harry to have a brother. It’s not fair he’s going to be outnumbered.”

“You and Hannah were outnumbered for years.” James laughed, reminding her of the years spent with Sirius and Remus as part of her family.

“Exactly! I don’t want Harry to feel like that.”

“Whatever, I’m happy with whatever we get. Even if it means you're wrong.”

She was wrong of course. Her baby came later that night, weeks before her due date, and after hours of screaming at James for putting her in this spot; she gave birth to a tiny, precious girl.

They called her Phoebe, she was small, and wrinkly and very pink. She had a mess of thick black hair and her tiny fingers curled around Lily’s finger while she held her daughter in adoration.

Labor came suddenly, and Lily couldn’t remember her other children hurting this badly. She laid in her bed and cried for her Mother, while James panicked. He called Marlene over, she was a nurse and Lily had insisted that she would only feel comfortable giving birth at home if Marlene was there to act as a midwife.

By midnight Lily was crying into James' chest as she pushed her daughter out into the world.

James held Lily tight, as Lily held her daughter to her chest and began to feed her. He took a quick picture of the newborn, and sent it to Harry and his mother. And whispered to Lily, “you did amazing. Again.”

She looked up at him, smiling wildly. “Shes lovely James, we did this.”

“Well obviously. But you did the hard part.”

“It’s okay.” She sighed, labor had been a bitch. She was horribly sore, and exhausted. She smiled down at the baby in her arms, “it was worth it.”

“Happy anniversary love.” He said.

“Happy Halloween.” She beamed at him.

Halloween was good for the Potter family. They had another happy Halloween story to add to their collection, the day Phoebe was born.

This year may have been shit, but it was ending happily within the chaos of the Potter home.

“Happy Birthday.” James leaned down and kissed his daughter's tiny head.

#jily #harry potter #james potter #lily potter #jily fanfiction #marlene mckinnon #remus lupin #sirius black #Marauders #jily fic #pregnant Lily #muggle au #Lily Evans #aaron taylor johnson #Sophie Skelton #jily fandom #hp marauders #hp fanfic #jily fanfic

78 notes · View notes

spiltscribbles · 3 years

Note

Any chance you could give us some Arabic speaking Remus headcanons? Loved your latest fic ❤️ 📚

OMFG gorgeous sugarplum! I legit only just was reminded of this while scrolling through my inbox right now! But my heart is finna burst!!! Thank you SO SO much and yes I would love to give some Headcanons about this! Especially since the next long story I’m working on includes this dynamic, and I’m so excited about it!! However, common disclaimer that while I am Arab and culturally Muslim even if I don’t practice like the rest of my family lol, I am Palestinian and not Syrian. So with every identity there are different experiences and customs no matter how closely intertwined. So I apologize for any inconsistency that a Syrian may read and disagree with, and please feel free to correct me<3 <3

The FIC this HC is from

So first off some background on his mum in the story

I chose the name Vivian based off a friend of a friend who’s uncle married a woman by that name back in Palestine, so it’s definitely extremely uncommon, but a fully Arab lady was named it, so like it’s my defense bahaha. But it also means lively, and coupled with Hussein as her maiden name which means beautiful, it just fit her personality to a t!!

She was born into a pretty secular family in Syria in the late 1920s, so there was a lot going on in that time period. But her dad was pretty influential, working in the government and such. Vivian was also the youngest of four girls and three boys so she was pretty spoiled tbh

She attended a boarding school in France through out her adolescence and decided to go to university there too, so she’s fluent in both Arabic and French, with pretty great English as well. Though she wasn’t exactly white passing, even though like a bunch of Syrians/Palestinians/Lebanese folk she was somewhat fair, she had distinctly Arabian features, like the large almond shaped eyes and thick lashes and thicker brows, and a long, largeish nose, accented by full lips. So she experienced a good amount of jeers and discrimination, especially when folks found out her surname. So I think she’s able to relate to Remus in that sense of being a wolf at least, and later on when he comes out as gay.

It was 1950 when she and a few of her girlfriends went to Wales for holiday after completing university. The second Lyall first spotted her in the woods while she was trying to make it back to the cabin near the Irish Sea with her mates, it was something like love, because duh. She was a fucking knock out!! A babe and a baddy! Literally so far out of his league its ridiculous! But on Vivian’s side, she was mostly just amused and a bit enamored by this cocksure Welshman who had the most endearing of crooked smiles that their son would inherit a decade later. So obviously she didn’t make it easy on him, but eventually she let him take her out on the last night of her trip, and was pleased to find out that they had the same sort of humor and the same passion for their careers and even the same love for the outdoors too.

They had a long distance relationship for two years while she went to grad school so she could teach about classics while Lyall himself was rising the ranks in the Ministry for regulation and control of magical creatures— Unbeknownst to her, the Floo network was very helpful with the distance. Just thank God Lyall himself is a Muggle born because he really had to fake the hell out of it lol.

So just to speed things up they got married on a lovely June evening in 1955, subsequent to Vivian excepting a professorial job in Cardiff after Lyall told her about the Wizarding world. At first Vivian thought e was tripping on some subpar edibles until he proved it by transfiguring her snuff box into a lovely broach that she kept for the rest of her life, So after Vivian was convinced, she became absolutely enthralled by all of the magic so completely.

They were trying for a few years when she finally became pregnant with Remus in 1959, and they were both so over the moon (pun unintended).

So like I said above, Vivian’s family are pretty secular, so I see her mostly practicing the cultural aspects of Islam. For example, every Friday— which is the equivalent to Sundays being the holy day for Christians— she lights up the instance that she always keeps herself stocked up on after her annual trip to Syria, instead of the typical candles she ordinarily prefers. And Remus swears that for the rest of his life whenever he smells it, he’s back to being a baby, puttering around the house and watching her dusting the shelves while humming quietly an Arabic song that’ played out the gramophone by a man who’s music would soon become regarded as the song of the people. Or Remus would recall being snuggled into her lap while she read him a novel on the windowsill. Or he’d simply remember listening to his parents laughter fluttering in the air while he fell asleep by the fire, subconsciously making the flower buds closest to him bloom with his untapped magic.

Remus’s first clear memory— thanks to the endless pictures— is when he was around four years old, before the attack, and they were staying in Vivian’s home town in Damascus. While the men congregated out doors for cigars and cards and the women in the living room chatting while snacking on watermelon seeds, his older cousins— who were all girls— dragged him off to one of the bedrooms and doted on him because he was the baby of that side of the family. And he remembers walking out in a set of one of their heels and a headscarf wrapped around his head which made his Mama and Tata and Aumties laugh out loud and croon over him, and all his uncles and Sido call him Aumty Remus.

The attack by Greyback happened soon after they returned to Wales, and I’m not gonna touch on it becs I’ not finna depress myself. But it was a January morning after his first transformation and he remembers that when he woke up, he saw the cookies stuffed with dates resting on his bedside with a glass of milk that Lyall had put a cooling charm on. And they’re indulgent treats that Vivian makes for both Eids every year even though they don’t celebrate them in any other way lol. But the cookies always reminds him of family and of feeling safe in his mother’s arms, and they still work to make him feel better even after the worst thing he has ever experienced in his short life.

Remus’s love of poetry came from both sides of his parents, but it was listening to his mother recite the story of Majnun Layla in it’s original Arabic that really made him glow for the art form, and brought him to discovering his favorites like Auden and Neruda.

There’s a ornate, wooden prayer box that has been past down on the Hussein side of the family for five generations, it was originally meant to hold a Qran but for the past three it’s simply just been a beautiful piece of decoration. So when Vivian gave it to Remus when he was headed off to Hogwarts, little Remus asked McGonagall to help him with locking charms so it could become a safe place for him to keep his most cherished of nicknacks ant momentos, so obviously, she silently added a charm to keep the wood nearly unbreakable and the extension charm atop of that, like Hermione with her bag, so that he could keep as many happy memories as possible inside of it, and she prayed that there would be so many that it threatened to burst.

The last time Remus opened the box was in 1996, when he was putting away the ring Sirius gifted him as a match to his own in some feeble promise of forever only weeks before James and Lily’s own engagement.

Once during first year, he and the lads were staying up late, trading stories about how they got their most ridiculous scars— after seeing the one that scraped across Remus’s left shoulder blade— But it got to a point where they were all feeling a bit nippish, so they went down to the kitchens for some of the chocolate pudding that was served during dinner that night. And Remus idly asked the house elves if they could make him a batch of Kinafa because he was getting home sick and missed when he and his Mama would dash over to the city whenever they were feeling antsy, and she’d take him to their favorite hooka bar after buying a round of the dessert— which is basically sweetbread stuffed with cheese— from down the block. And they’d stay sitting beneath the starlight, and talking about her job and his lessons from school while she’d let him try a discrete puff or two and they’d laugh about everything and nothing at all.

The next time they stopped by the kitchens one of the younger house elves presented him with the snack gleefully, and it tasted fine, just not like how they do back home. So Remus smiled warmly at Tipsy, the house elf, and thanked her with real sincerity.

But his face must’ve betrayed him because after easter break, Sirius plops down a fresh batch of them on Remus’s bed before leaping into his own, casually mentioning that he saw how grossed out Remus looked when trying the one the house elves made, and it was from a restaurant close to Grimmauld so it’s not that big of a deal, and then he rushed to cursing at James for stealing his favorite pen and swearing that if he broke it he’s gonna have hell to pay. Remus had only blushed and chuckled with a small smile on his face when he cut himself a small piece and finished the half sheet off with the rest of their house later that night during an impromptu party that the Marauders would become infamous for in later years.

It was the summer after second year when all the marauders visited Remus back home in Wales and when they heard Vivian call him Qamar practically every other sentence, which of course lead to endless ribbing and eventually to his nickname of Moony— even though it’s so fucking obvious and Remus loves and hates it in equal parts. God his friends are so fucking stress inducing!

Remus teaches the other marauders funny Arabic curse words and they use them in class so that they can talk shit about particularly disgusting Slytherins without them being any of the wiser. (Yes I did do this with my friends, and I’d do it again! POW! POW! POW!)

It’s from Vivian that Remus has an affinity for coffee as strong as shit, but also prefers his tea weak— specifically two sugars and a dash of milk. But seriously, if you’ve ever tried Arabian coffee you’d understand, that shit is so fucking strong it’s literally a hate crime LMFAO. But yeah, this habit is definitely a point of contention between him and Sirius— who’s actually so fucking posh no matter how much he wants to be punk, and he stands by only drinking black tea— like Merlin intended— and saying bugger off to any and all coffees. “Leave that shite to the French and Americans.” And Remus would try to keep himself from making eyes at him from across the table, because God Sirius is hot when he’s all fiery and impassioned, even when it’s about the dumbest, most inconsequential shit.

Something that’s sort of funny is that Remus was the first among them to become a fucking pot head and could drink them all under the table even though Sirius himself has got two stone and three inches on him. But Remus still refuses to eat ham, purely because he never grew up eating it and doesn’t care too now. Sirius had to specifically ask Euphemia and Monty to make turkey for Christmas dinner their sixth year just because he knew that Remus’s head would probably implode with the decision between being rude and not eating it or forcing himself to gag down the unfamiliar meat.

When Remus is really, really fucking drunk he definitely spends the night only speaking in Arabic! (Don’t look at me I’m trash just because I stole this from my own life lmfao) But yeah, it’s really fucking hilarious and Sirius swears to God he’s so fucking in love with him while listening to Remus ranting in the unfamiliar language. And he’s like positive that half the time he’s actually just cursing Sirius out but he doesn’t even care because it’s SO! DAMN! CUTE! And sometimes Sirius decides to speak French at a drunk off his arse Moony, who occasionally replies back in a stiff staccato before returning back to the easy Arabic. And it’s just a mess.

Ok so sadness warning

In my head, Vivian loses her fight against breast cancer the July after the Marauders graduate from Hogwarts, and afterwords Remus gets a tattoo of her name in Arabic on his chest, and the word for soul on the nape of his neck. He locks away that battered copy of Magnun Layla in the wooden box she gave him years ago, along with a woolen scarf that smelt like her perfume.

It’s Sirius who buys a set of prayer beads to hang off her photo above the mantel in the flat he and Remus share, and when Remus sees it he literally feels like he might crack open with tears, but opts to kiss Sirius thank you instead, and they stay tangled on the sofa for the rest of the day in quiet contemplation.

One night, in late 1979, while the war was only getting worse and worse— Sirius was hit by a cutting curse to the ribs. And it was really fucking bad, but thankfully James got him to his house in time for Lily to help and heal. He slept for the most part for nearly an entire day, but remembers snippets. Like when Remus had sprinted into the room with fear painted all over his soft features, and when James put a cooling cloth to his head. But most distinctly, Sirius recalls Remus gingerly lying besides him and Sirius talking gibberish at his boyfriend while Remus plunged his entire face against his back, eyes wet with tears and body shuttering as he squeezed him softly, saying something quietly in Arabic. Sirius obviously didn’t understand like 99.9% of it, but he did catch the word “Habibi,” which he instantly remembers as an old pet name Vivian use to call Remus with so much love it made her entire countenance sparkle. It’s an endearment that means beloved, or darling, and it feels like Remus is begging Sirius to stay with him and Sirius’s throat is still raw from the screaming, so he can only reply by dragging Remus’s hand up to his mouth and kissing his knuckles tenderly. And he knows that whatever he does for the rest of his days, he loves Remus Lupin with every cell in his body.

Oof this got mad depressing…. Chow anyways, I can add a picture of the container you’re suppose to use for the instance if anyone wants that?

Thank you again dear Nonny!!!

Ask Me For Headcanons About A Story I’ve Written Or For One You Want To See Written

#WOLFSTAR #REMUS LUPIN #SIRIUS BLACK #MARAUDERS #THE HARRY POTTER SERIES #SIRIUSXREMUS #REMUSXSIRIUS #HEADCANONS #HEADCANONS BY LEN #FIC: MAMA LUPIN IS A BABE

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lovesdarkness · 3 years

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Star Crossed - Chapter 01

Warnings: Nothing for this one. Pretty safe.

Word count: 9432

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Chapter One

Sirius took one last drag off his cigarette before flicking it down onto the pavement and snuffing it out. Exhaling the smoke that he'd held in he waited at the entrance to the platform for James and his parents. He couldn't believe it was their last year at Hogwarts. With Voldemort gaining power and the Wizarding world on the brink of war, he didn't know how to feel. Events of the last year were weighing heavy on his mind and heart. His moods had been horrible lately and he couldn’t seem to shake the constant feeling of despair that filled him. So many things had changed and part of him wished he could go back to those earlier childhood years. Back to when everything was simple and he had no worries. The only thing he'd change was that he'd have left home to live with James far sooner.

Looking over he spotted the Potter’s approaching and smiled as he walked over to meet up with them.

“There you are Sirius dear.” Mrs. Potter said as she reached out to wrap Sirius in a warm hug.

Sirius couldn’t help but smile. “Hey there mum.” he murmured as he returned the hug.

In the time he had known the woman she had been more of a mother to him than his own mother had been his entire life. He remembered the very first time she had ever hugged him and recalled how awkward and uncomfortable he had felt, frozen to the spot as he looked over at James in confusion. He’d never received any kind of affection from his parents. And it was rare for them to ever dole out any sort of praise to him. Moving in with James and experiencing what a real loving and nurturing family was like was strange at first. The Potter’s regular and unconditional offering of affection and praise felt so alien to him. It had taken Sirius quite a while to get used to it but they eventually grew on him and after a period of adjustment he came to welcome it.

“We’ve barely seen you the last few weeks,” Mrs. Potter continued. Pulling away she fretted over him, straightening out his shirt and jacket. “We’ve been so worried about you dear.” Reaching up she gently patted his cheek.

Sirius looked down at the woman as he reached up to take her hand, giving it a loving squeeze. “I’ve just had a lot on my mind and needed some time alone to sort it out. I’m sorry I worried you...I didn’t mean to.”

“It’s alright darling. So long as you know that we’re here for you and we love you.”

Sirius felt a tightness form in his chest. The feeling was still so strange to him, being told that he was loved. “Thank you mum.”

“So do you boys need help getting everything onto the train? Or do you think you can handle it yourselves?” Came Mr. Potter's voice.

“I think we can handle it dad. Nothing to worry about.” James said.

“Very well we’ll be off then,” Mrs. Potter said, hugging her son and leaning up to kiss his cheek. “Have a good year boys. Study hard, and stay out of trouble.” Sirius and James both let out a snort at that. “And give Lily our love. I’m so happy you’ve met such a sweet girl. Sirius, take a page out of my son's book and find yourself a nice girl. I want to see you happy." She finished with a wink, causing Sirius to roll his eyes and shake his head as he let out a soft laugh.

"I'll get right on it mum."

Once they had said their goodbyes and the Potter’s walked off, James and Sirius grabbed their carts and ran through the wall to get to Platform 9 ¾. The entire platform was swarming with people. Students and parents milling about chatting and discussing their hopes for the school year. In the background the black and red steam engine sat idle with white smoke rising from its chimney. In previous years Sirius would have found the scene to be comforting. Hogwarts was a second home to him and he was happy to get away from his horrid family. But with the state of things as they were now he just couldn’t seem to find that same enthusiasm. Many parents were worried and fearful, wondering if they should be sending their children away. Dumbledore assured everyone that Hogwarts was the safest place they could be, and Sirius desperately wanted to believe him.

Looking around he spotted a number of young first years and gave a sad smile. “Were we ever that small?” Sirius asked as he turned to James.

James sighed in response and shook his head. “It feels like a million years ago doesn’t it? Meeting you, and Moony, and Pete on the train.”

“Perhaps not a million years, but definitely more than seven.” Sirius chuckled. Letting out a sigh he reached up a raked his fingers through his long raven hair. “Snivellus saying he hoped Lily would be in Slytherin,” he shuddered. “Lyra sitting there, too shy to say a word to anyone. Staring at me with those big round eyes when she thought I wasn’t looking.”

After what he’d heard from Lily, James let out a soft chuckle. He knew exactly why Lyra had stared at Sirius all the time. “She was a little odd at first. But we all have our odd moments. Especially Remus.”

“Oh I don’t know, Peter is much more odd than I am.” Came a voice from behind them. James and Sirius turned around and grinned when they saw Remus walk up with Peter.

“Moony!” they both greeted, fist bumping and hugging their friends. “Hey Pete,” Sirius said as he slung his arm around Peter and mussed up his hair. “How was your summer?”

Peter shrugged. “Uneventful, despite being in another country,” he muttered, scratching at the inside of his left arm. “You guys?”

Sirius shrugged as the four of them headed through the throng of people towards the train. “Well, Jamsie here was with Lily most of the time when she’d be by to visit. I was kind of off doing my own thing. Met up with Moony a few times, went to check on Lyra and see how she was doing.”

As they walked they came upon Lily and her parents loading her trunk into one of the compartments. James grinned, walking up to his girlfriend. He gave her a kiss on the cheek before greeting her parents. While they stood around chatting Sirius couldn’t help but get the feeling that someone was watching him. A chill crept up his spine. It was an eerie feeling that he couldn’t seem to shake as he cast his eyes around the platform.

There on the opposite side he came across his mother as she stared him down. No wonder the feeling was so damn creepy. He held eye contact with her, narrowing his eyes and sending her all the negative energy he could muster till she looked away, turning to his brother. Seeing his brother made Sirius’ heart ache. They may have grown apart in the last couple years but Regulus was still his baby brother. He still loved and missed him every day. For a single nagging moment part of him hated himself for getting out. For leaving his brother behind to deal with their horrid family alone. Merlin knew he was just so under their thumbs, he hoped one day the boy would find the strength to break out of their control and get away himself.

Once Lily’s parents had left the four boys loaded their belongings onto the train while the red head looked around.

“Hey has anyone seen Lyra yet?” She asked as her green eyes scanned the crowd. “The train is going to leave soon and she’s nowhere to be seen,” She looked around at each of them with concern marring her features. “She’s usually the first one I see, she’s never been this late before.”

James and Remus shrugged as Sirius frowned and looked out amongst the crowd again looking for the brunette. Lily was right, they would have seen her by now as she told them stories of everything she’d done over the summer. He had a sinking feeling though this year would be different.

“How about you guys go and find us a good car, eh,” Sirius started as he looked back at them. “I’ll go look for her and help her get her things loaded up.” The others nodded their agreements. James placed a hand on his friends shoulder a moment before the group went to board the train. Sirius then turned and made his way back out into the crowd to search for their friend.

Lyra took a deep breath as she walked onto the platform and was faced with a sea of people. She watched the families. Mothers and fathers and younger siblings, wishing students well and goodbye. Hugging them and gushing about how much they would be missed as they prepared for their departure for school.

At one time her own family would have given her the same warm and loving farewell. But so much had changed since that first year and she had no idea what had been the catalyst. It was a little over a year ago that things had started going down hill. Now she just wanted to get to school and get away.

She barely got to see her friends over the summer. Yes there were letters, and a visit with Lily in London, but not having her friends there with her through the tumultuous times was hard. She’d never felt so alone before. Now she wanted nothing more than to spend every moment she could this last year with them. Her eyes scanned the crowd as she searched, she smiled slightly as she saw Lily in the distance being helped by her father to load her things onto the train.

She couldn’t go rushing forward to greet her friend though as she had to wait on her mother, who for some reason was held up, to follow her to the platform.

Lyra bit her lip and sighed as she waited for the woman to arrive. She looked at her watch, knowing the train would be leaving soon. All she wanted was to run off and find her friends, but she knew that if she left without her mother's send off there would be hell to pay later.

So focused on the thoughts that were tumbling through her mind she didn’t sense the form coming up behind her. “Lyra there you are!” A familiar voice called as a pair of strong arms slipped around her waist and scooped her up into a hug. “I’ve missed you.”

She gasped in surprise as she was lifted from the ground and whirled around in a quick circle. Once she was set back down on her feet she turned in his arms and looked up to see Sirius’ bright smile beaming down at her. A wide smile of her own spread across her lips as she flung her arms up around his neck for a hug.. “Sirius…hi.” she breathed softly in his ear, her cheeks tinted pink as she felt something flutter in her chest when she felt his arms wrap around her.

“What is going on here! What are you doing Lyra?” Came an angry voice from behind them. Lyra’s eyes widened with fear and she yanked herself away from Sirius. She whirled around and there was her mother. Dark lips pressed thin, her eyes flashing with disapproval. “Stand straight darling don’t slouch. Keep your chin up,” her mother said, reaching out and lifting her daughter's chin. “And your hair's a mess, fix it up.”

“Yes mother,” Lyra said, standing ramrod straight, her shoulders pulled back as she reached up and smoothed out her hair. Why? Why did she have to come now? While he was here...she hadn’t wanted him to see this.

Her mother looked at her critically, fixing her blouse as she spoke. “Darling I never want to see that again. A lady never shares physical affection with any man unless it’s with the man she marries. Now who is this? Introduce us.” She demanded, her eyes now fixed on Sirius.

“I’m sorry,” Lyra murmured and swallowed the lump in her throat. Licking her lips she took a deep breath that did nothing to calm her. “Sirius...my mother, Aurelisa Horne.” she said slowly, her hands clenching and unclenching at her sides as she stared straight ahead. “Mother this is my friend, Sirius Black.”

Her mothers eyes flashed slightly at the name. He could see the recognition in them, she knew the name, knew who his family were. “Sirius Black,” she said, emphasizing his surname. A sweet smile suddenly sprang across her lips as she looked Sirius up and down. “So this is the silly boy I’ve heard you fawning about to your Muggle friends every summer. The one you’re so in love with? Gushing about how dreamy his eyes are, how his voice gives you butterflies, and how his smile makes your heart melt.” she held his gaze with every word before looking at her daughter. “Forget this ridiculous crush darling. Once I find you a proper suitor, you’ll be married shortly after graduation.”

Lyra was visibly mortified. Her face went a deep shade of red as she felt something in her stomach clench and all the air flew from her lungs. It felt like she was suffocating. It was true, she’d had feelings for Sirius for as long as she could remember and had kept them secret, until now. When her mother with a tone of sweet venom spilled everything to him. And she couldn’t do anything to stop her, all she could do was stand there like a statue staring straight ahead of her, barely able to breath as she fought back tears. Too humiliated to look over at her friend.

Sirius’ eyes widened in shock as he stared at Mrs. Horne then turned his head to look over at Lyra, confusion whirling through his chest as he heard her mothers words replay in his head. Lyra? In love with him? Since when? Shaking the thoughts from his mind his demeanor changed almost instantly as he straightened his posture, the smile he’d greeted Lyra with sliding off his face.

"Madam Horne," he greeted coolly, angry at the way she had spoken to his friend. "We haven’t had the chance to meet," thankfully, the unsaid word hung between them. "I hope you know what a special person Lyra is. She really is a wonderful friend, you have no idea how happy I am to know her. She’s so kind hearted and caring, it’s clear who she didn’t inherit those traits from." He looked down at Lyra, grey eyes sparkling as he ignored the angry expression on the other woman's face. "Now if you will excuse us, I must escort Lyra to the train as it will be leaving shortly. I’m sure you would hate for her to be late, though I can understand how time can slip away when a loving parent is saying goodbye to their child." He finished, reaching down to help Lyra with her trunk with ease.

Lyra stood frozen to the spot, wishing the ground beneath her would open up and swallow her whole. At the end of the encounter her mother leaned over to kiss her cheek. "Have a good year darling." She said almost lovingly and cast a glare at Sirius before turning and heading off the platform. Unable to move, her breath started coming fast as her resolve started to crumble and she quickly came undone. From the corner of her eye she saw Sirius take her trunk. "Thank you...." She managed to choke out, too humiliated to meet his eyes, before she whirled around and rushed towards the train. She hugged herself as tears streamed down her cheeks terrified that her mother had ruined something important to her.

“Lyra…” Sirius called out to her, but she didn’t stop. He wanted desperately to chase after her and make sure she was ok, but stopped himself. If he had been humiliated like that by one of his parents in front of one of his friends he wouldn’t exactly want to be followed either. He gave her a bit of space to start before following to load her trunk onto the train next to his.

Lily had been sitting in James’ lap talking to the others when she saw Lyra rush by, tears in her eyes. Worry immediately filled her as she jumped up. “Lyra?” she called, and turned back to the others. “I’ll be right back.” she said before dashing after the other girl.

Lyra didn’t stop as she heard Lily calling her name and continued walking till she reached the very end of the train and could go no further. She tried to gasp deeply for breath as she clutched her hands to her chest, her heart pounding so hard in her chest it hurt. She heard Lily approach her from behind and she turned to face her friend. “I can’t breathe...” she gasped.

Having never seen her friend so distraught before Lily’s eyes widened with concern. “Okay, it’s okay,” she said as she pulled Lyra to an empty bathroom for some privacy and the two slid down to sit on the floor. Reaching out she grabbed one of Lyra’s hands and pressed it to her chest. “Just follow my breathing, it’s alright, I won’t let anything bad happen to you.”

Lyra swallowed, sucking in deep breaths as best as she could before completely dissolving into tears. “She ruined it…she ruined everything,” she cried as she buried her face into her hands and sobbed. “...how could she do that…”

“Huh? Who ruined what?” Lily asked, eyebrows knitting together in confusion as she reached out to grasp her friends hands and pull them away from her face. “What are you talking about?”

“My mother! She told Sirius!” Lyra cried, squeezing her friends hands as she shook her head. She still couldn’t believe this was happening. “She told him how I felt...she embarrassed me in front of him,” she continued, taking deep gasping breaths as her shoulders shook. “I can never face him again.”

Letting out a sigh Lily shook her head. “Oh hush now, Sirius will hardly hold that against you. Hey look at me.” Reaching out she gently grasped Lyra’s chin and made her look up at her. “You are one of his favourite people in the whole world,” she continued. “How did he respond?”

“I...I don’t know. I didn’t see his face. I was far too embarrassed to look at him,” Lyra gulped as she pulled away, reaching up to wipe her tears away with her sleeve. When Lily handed her some toilet paper she blew her nose. “I-I was just so...humiliated. I couldn’t hear anything past the blood pounding in my ears. I just froze. The things she said to him…”

“Lyra if there is one thing I know about Sirius Black, it’s that he cares about his friends more than anything.” Lily assured her, reaching out to place a hand on her shoulder. “And you fall under that category. You are a wonderful and loyal friend who has always been there and gotten him through countless dark times. Whatever your mother said he won’t let get to him. None of us understand bad parents better than Sirius. And who knows, maybe him finally knowing how you feel could work out in your favour.”

Closing her eyes tight as she felt more tears well up, Lyra shook her head. “No it won’t...he won’t ever feel that way about me. We both know that I'm far from the type of girl Sirius is interested in. He likes the pretty, fun, outgoing girls, and I'm just...not that. He’ll never see me as anything more than a friend.” She let out another soft sob as tears once more slid down her cheeks. “It’s going to be so awkward now. I won't be able to look him in the eye knowing that he knows how I feel about him. It's going to change our friendship. I don’t know how to face him.”

“You face him like you always have. That doesn’t have to change.” Lily assured her. “In the meantime, what the hell is up with your mother? She was always so nice and sweet in the past. What made her turn so psycho?”

“I don’t know. It was never like this before.” Lyra said as she leaned back against the wall and pulled her legs up, hugging her knees. “She was never this horrible. But ever since she and my dad started fighting last year it’s just gotten worse and worse. They had such a horrible row this morning. He didn’t even come to wish me good bye.” swallowing Lyra rest her chin on her knees as she wiped her eyes. “And the last few months she’s been working hard at trying to find a husband for me...and force me into an arranged marriage.”

“Wait WHAT?” Came Lily’s shocked response, her green eyes wide.

Lyra nodded. “She’s insistent upon marrying me off into a prominent non-dark family once I’ve graduated. I don’t even have a choice. She even does random purity spells to make sure I’m still a virgin! Because good husbands don’t want “damaged goods” apparently.” A wave of sadness and grief washed over her again as she shook her head. “I don’t know what to do. I don’t know how to fight this.” Her voice broke as fresh tears streamed down her face.

“Lyra please, let’s go back to the others.” Lily insisted, reaching out to take her hands but frowning when Lyra pulled away. “We can all get you through this together.”

Shaking her head as she sniffed, Lyra let out a shuddering breath. “No. I don’t want the boys knowing.” She especially didn’t want Sirius knowing. “Please don’t say anything to them, I just want to keep this between us.”

“ Lyra,” Lily sighed and shook her head. She didn’t like keeping secrets from the others, especially James. But this wasn’t her call, it was Lyra’s life and it was up to her to decide when she was ready to talk about it. “Come on, let’s just go back please. At least talk to Sirius and let him show you that this isn’t going to change anything between you.”

Lyra shook her head, causing Lily to huff and cast her an aggravated glare. “I’m not ready.” she murmured.

Reaching up to rub her forehead Lily sighed. “Ok. I’ll go back to the others and give you some time to gather yourself. But if you take too long I swear I’m going to send all four of them back here to break down this door and drag you back to our car.” When Lyra nodded she exited the bathroom, closing the door behind her to see that the train had already left the station as the scenery blew past. Almost immediately she heard the door lock and she shook her head. That girl wasn’t leaving that bathroom till they got to the school. Letting out a groan she headed back to the car she was sharing with James and his friends.

When she arrived and slid the door open she saw that Sirius had joined the group and the four of them looked up at her as she entered.

“Is she ok?” Sirius asked, grey eyes clouded with concern.

“Nope,” Lily said with a shake of her head. She took James’ hand as he reached out to her and pulled her into his lap. “She’s locked herself in the bathroom and is refusing to come out. Says she’s too humiliated and thinks this will come between your friendship.”

“What!” Sirius exclaimed, eyes widening in shock. Without another word he got to his feet and bolted from the car. Tracking Lyra through the train he came to the bathroom she had locked herself into and stopped outside. He listened for a moment and heard the faint sound of sobbing coming from within. The sound made his chest tighten. Closing his eyes he took a deep breath before knocking on the door with a soft rapp.

“Lyra...please let me in.” he called out when there was no answer.

“I’m fine Sirius. Go away.”

Letting out a huff Sirius shook his head. “No you’re not fine, and I’m not going anywhere. Please let me in?” Silence. “I swear Lyra I will sit outside this door and spend the entire train ride obnoxiously singing the most annoying song you can think of. And I’ll cast a spell to project my voice into that room so it’s all you will hear.” he threatened, slamming his fist against the door.

There were a few seconds of silence before the sound of the door unlocking reached his ears. He opened the door a crack and peered in. She was sitting on the floor with her face buried in her knees as she hugged them, shoulders trembling with each sob. Stepping in he closed and locked the door behind him before leaning back against the wall, sliding down to sit next to her.

“Hey…” he said softly, reaching out to rest his hand against her head. “You ok?”

Silently she shook her head.

“Anything I can do to help?”

Another shake of her head.

Crossing his legs he turned to face her better, gently stroking her hair. “Come on Lyr, look at me. Please?” The whole situation was confusing to him. At that moment though all he knew was that someone he cared for was in distress, and all he wanted was to make her feel better again. But what could he do?

“I can’t.” Came her meek whimper before letting out another soft sob. “I can’t.”

Leaning over Sirius pressed his forehead to her temple, closing his eyes. “Lyra I’m here...I’m right here. And I’m not going anywhere. I promise,” he assured her, his hand sliding down to rub her back in an effort to comfort her. “You can’t honestly think I’d reject you over this. I’d never do that. You’re one of my closest friends, you mean too much to me. You’ve done nothing wrong so please...look at me.”

After taking a few deep breaths Lyra slowly pulled her face out of her knees, screwing up enough courage to raise her tear stained face and cast her brown eyes up to look at him. His own were full of concern as he watched her before a smile graced his lips.

“There you are pretty girl.” he murmured, reaching up to wipe away her tears with his thumbs. “See? Everything is fine. So no more tears, ok?” he assured her, opening his arms to offer a hug. She leaned into him without hesitation, cuddling up against his chest and resting her head against his shoulder. Sirius wrapped his arms around her tight, murmuring assurances into her ear as he rocked her back and forth.

When she pulled away several minutes later Lyra looked considerably more calm, and a little cheered up. Sirius let out a relieved sigh as he reached up to slip his fingers through her hair. “Well...we’ve certainly had better first days.” he joked, causing her to let out a breathy laugh.

“That’s for sure.” she answered, reaching up to wipe away the last of her tears. “I’m sorry...for everything.”

Sirius shook his head. “Nothing to be sorry for love. I promise everything is fine.” He tried to think of something else to say and after a short silence came the dreaded question. “So how was your summer?”

What could Lyra say? Her summer was a nightmare. All her parents did the entire time was scream at each other. That her mother was being overbearing and enforcing all these rules on her. That she was being groomed to be sold off like cattle to the highest bidder. And all she wanted more than anything was to break free and run away. She didn’t say any of that though. He was worried about her enough as it was, she didn’t need to concern him more. A million answers to this question flew through her brain before she decided on one.

“It was pretty good.” Lyra said, forcing a smile on her face as she shrugged a little. “Nothing too exciting.”

Sirius instantly frowned. “You’re lying.”

Lyra blinked in confusion, looking up at him with owl-like eyes. “What...but...” she sputtered, face flushing dark at being caught in a lie.

After a moment of silence he let out a sigh. “I went to go see you,” he confessed, reaching up to rake his hand through his hair. “For your birthday actually. I had wanted to surprise you and take you out for the day. But as I walked up to the house, I heard the fighting. All the windows were open and your parents were screaming at each other something fierce.”

Lyra’s jaw dropped in shock, her eyes widening. “You...you were there?” she asked, her voice trembling.

Sirius nodded. “Yeah. But once I heard everything going on I didn’t think it would have been a good idea to show up unannounced. I saw you though, as I was heading back to the road to leave. I hid in that big oak tree and watched as you and your brother climbed out one of the upstairs windows and you helped him climb down the trellis.”

“Oh…”

“I thought it was really sweet, the way you tried to distract him. When you started singing and dancing to all those songs for him. You’re an amazing big sister.” His lips cracked into a soft smile as he gazed down at her. “You’re an amazing friend too.”

Lyra felt her heart drop a little at the “F” word. She had expected him to say something like that but it still didn’t stop it from stinging. “You are too.” she murmured as she looked away from him, resting her chin on her knees.

“You took me by surprise you know. You’ve always been so quiet and shy and reserved. Watching you sing your heart out and dance around like that. That’s a side of you I’ve never seen before. I never would have expected that from you. You have a beautiful voice.”

Feeling her skin flush hot Lyra couldn’t stop the smile that formed. Embarrassed she reached up to cover her face as she giggled softly. “Sirius…” she whined. She wished he would stop, she appreciated the compliments but she had a hard time accepting them. She never knew how to respond.

“I watched the entire time until your mother called you in. I really liked that Diamonds song.”

“Diamonds Are a Girl's Best Friend.” She answered. Something clicked in her head then as she came to a realization and she bolted up straight, turning to him. “Shortly after that I heard the sound of a motorcycle going by. Was that you?”

Sirius nodded with a smile.

“I remember thinking of you then. The sound reminded me of you and made me wish I could have seen you. And it WAS you…” She whispered, raising her hands to clutch them to her heart. “All summer I had missed you so much.”

His smile fell. Just by watching her he could see how much missing him had hurt her. “I’m sorry.” he said as he wrapped an arm around her and pulled her against him, rubbing her shoulder. “Maybe I should have stayed, maybe I should have gone back and snuck you out that night and we could have spent some time together. Maybe gotten into a bit of trouble.” He grinned and winked at her, making her laugh a little.

“Yeah, maybe.” She said, casting her eyes back to him once more. She hadn’t had a chance to get a good look at him since he’d joined her, so she took the opportunity at that moment to take him in. As she did she noticed a line of stubble growing along his jaw and up his chin. “This is new…” she whispered, reaching up to cup his cheek. Her fingers lightly traced a path along the new growth and she smiled softly.

Sirius reached up and made a face as he rubbed his jaw. “Eh yeah, I haven’t really been paying much attention to it to be honest. It’s been a bit since I’ve shaved. I’ve had other things on my mind.” He looked down at her as the corner of his mouth turned up, shivering a little as he felt her soft hand caress his face in a loving manner. “James accused me of using it as a ploy to get girls, but that’s honestly the last thing on my mind right now.”

“I like it.” Lyra breathed as she continued to stroke his cheek. She couldn’t seem to tear her gaze away from his features. “It suits you…”

Sirius watched her intently, his hand coming up to cover hers as she cradled his chin. The look in her eyes was one that he had seen a million times before when she looked at him. But it wasn’t until that moment that he had finally realized just what that look was. Now that he knew the truth he couldn’t help but wonder, how had he missed it? How had he not noticed it before?

Because you’re an oblivious git, that’s why. He thought. With all this swirling about through his head there was only one question on his mind then.

“How long?” He asked, gently tightening his grip around her hand.

His voice breaking her out of her daze Lyra’s eyes snapped to his. “Huh?”

“What your mother said...how long have you…”

Lyra’s face seemed to freeze, an anxious look flooding her eyes. Sirius felt her whole body go tense and next thing he knew she was pulling away taking her warmth with her.

“I’m not talking to you about that Sirius.” she said, shaking her head.

“Since when are there things that you won’t talk to me about?” he asked, looking wounded. “We’ve always told each other everything. I’ve even told you things I’ve never told James and he’s my best friend. Mostly because the git would laugh his arse off at me…”

“And I’ve told you things that I’ve never told Lily.” Lyra admitted. “But I’m not talking to you about this. I’m not going to talk to you about the boy that I secretly fancy...not when that boy is you. I can’t…” she trailed off, falling silent. Once more she turned her head away, unable to face him.

“You could have told me…” Sirius insisted.

“And what if I had told you, then what? What would have happened Sirius? Would you have magically fallen in love with me? Would you have suddenly realized I was the one you HAD to be with? What would telling you about my feelings have achieved? Aside from potentially ruining our friendship?” Lyra asked with an exasperated tone. She shook her head and swallowed, looking over at him. He could see the pained look in her eyes. She clearly had been struggling with this for a long time. “There was no point in telling you how I felt because you were never going to choose me. You were never going to be interested in me in that way. Because we both know I’m far from the type you’re attracted to Sirius.”

Sirius’ brows furrowed together as she spoke. He could hear the pain in her voice at the last bit. He was silent for a few moments as he racked his brain for a response. “You...don’t know that.” he said slowly, biting his lip. “If you had given me a chance…”

“Ok well now you know Sirius. Now you know that I have feelings for you. So what’s it going to be? What are you going to do about it?” Lyra asked, watching him and waiting for a response. His mouth just fell open and she could see the wheels turning in his head as he tried to form a response but the silence dragged on without a word from him. Nothing. Lyra let out a soft derisive laugh as she shook her head and looked away. “Exactly as I thought.”

“Now...hey...it...it’s not like that.” Sirius insisted, sitting up and turning to her more. Reaching out he grasped her chin and turned her face back to look at him. “It’s not that I wouldn’t want to date you, it’s nothing to do with you...it’s just. I spent a lot of time over the summer thinking about shite. And I made the choice to not get involved with anyone for a while. Not even for a shag. I...I’m a complete mess in the head right now, I really need to get my shite together and I need to be alone to do it. I’m no good for anyone. Especially you. You deserve far better than some pathetic, useless prat like me.”

As her expression softened a little Sirius released his hold on her chin. “You’re not pathetic...and you’re not useless.” she whispered.

The corners of his mouth curved up into a half smile. “Well, I’m glad you don’t think so.”

“You’re absolutely a prat though. A right big one!”

Sirius let out a barking laugh and shook his head. “Oh sod off.” he said, gently elbowing her, happy when she giggled a little. Letting out a sigh he leaned back against the wall, biting his lip as he looked over again. “I still wish you had told me though. If anything so I could have been more mindful when talking about whatever girl I was shagging at the time. That...that could not have been easy.”

Lyra sighed, biting her lip. “It...was absolute agony,” she admitted, “And hiding it was so hard…” her chin trembling a little at the thought as she felt tears well up.

“I’m sorry. I’m so sorry. I hate knowing that I hurt you, even if I didn’t mean to.” He reached over to take her hand, giving it a squeeze. “You know, I had always found it strange that you never talked about any boys you fancied. You never expressed any interest in anyone. Not once. You may have thought I didn’t notice, but I did because I always heard other girls prattle on about who they liked. The closest you ever came was...was…” he trailed off, a faint memory from their fifth year floating into his mind. His brows knitted together slightly, still having a hard time believing that someone as sweet and lovely as her could feel anything for him. “So...that time with the heels and the make up. I asked if you were trying to impress someone. It was me.”

A blush creeping up her face from the memory Lyra gave a sheepish smile. “Yeah. Yeah it was.” she admitted with a nod. “I felt so awkward, wearing all that and then losing my balance and falling flat on my face. I still can’t believe you laughed at me!”

“I said I was sorry!” Sirius replied with a laugh, shaking his head. “Come on looking back on it now you have to admit it was funny.” He grinned when she suddenly burst out giggling and nodded and they laughed together. Laughing with her felt wonderful. Both of them sighed once the fit of laughter subsided, and his grin faded to a soft smile as he looked down at their conjoined hands, lacing their fingers together. There was still only one thing on his mind. “But...I still need to know...how long…”

Lyra let out a soft laugh and shook her head. He sure was persistent. But what Sirius Black wants, Sirius Black gets. And right now what he wants in an answer. A breath escaped her lips and she leaned her head back against the wall. “Honestly?” she started, closing her eyes she felt a tear slip down her cheek. “From the moment I first met you.”

His eyes widened slightly. “Really?”

She nodded as she smiled a little. “Yeah. When we all sat on the train together, I remember thinking you were so pretty. And yes I said pretty. Forgive me I was eleven,” she said as he laughed, which made her laugh. Closing her eyes she replayed that day in her head, remembering how nervous she was. How she couldn’t stop staring at him. How much she liked his eyes and his smile. How his jokes made her laugh.

“You’re the reason I’m in Gryffindor you know,” she confessed softly after a few moments of quiet contemplation. When she looked over at him she couldn’t help but be amused by the puzzled expression on his face. “When it was my turn to be sorted the hat was originally going to put me into Hufflepuff. ‘Endlessly patient, loyal to a fault, and a heart that’s pure and true. Hufflepuff would be the perfect place for you.’ I heard it murmur. I said ‘No please don’t...I want to be in Gryffindor.’ and the hat questioned me, asking me why. ‘Because...I want to be friends with Sirius.’ I answered. It was quiet for a long while after that, I thought for sure it was going to place me in Hufflepuff anyways because I’m not brave and strong like a Gryffindor should be. But then it yelled ‘Gryffindor!’ and I let out this huge sigh of relief. Because that meant I got to be close to you.”

Sirius stared at her in stunned silence, completely at a loss for words. All that and it still took her nearly two years from that day to actually find the courage to speak to him, hell the first time he had ever said hello to her in the common room she froze and looked at him with wide terrified eyes before running away. But despite how shy and awkward she was, she was always there to offer a smile and silent encouragement. “I...had no idea…” he stammered.

“No one did. You’re the only person I’ve ever told.”

Before he knew what he was doing Sirius reached out and slipped his arms around her, pulling her against his chest in a firm hug. He kissed the top of her head before resting his chin atop it, closing his eyes. “You need to think better of yourself. Because you are strong, and you are brave. The fact that you found the courage to tell me all of this is proof of that.” Reaching up he slipped his fingers through her hair, twirling it around as he nuzzled into it. “You have come so far from being that shy, awkward girl I met on the train. You’ve blossomed and grown so much. But you need to break out of that insecure shell, you need to open up more and let the rest of the world see the you that I see. Because the world needs your beautiful heart, it needs your light. Now more than ever.” He looked down at her as she cuddled up against his chest, eyes closed with a contented smile on her face. “I’m grateful every day that James pushed me to befriend you.”

Blinking in confusion Lyra pulled away to look up at him, giving him an odd sort of look. “James pushed you to befriend me?”

Sirius bit his lip, looking a little sheepish. “I can explain…” he said as she pulled out of his embrace. “I mean, we were friendly to each other and we talked sometimes and helped each other in some classes. But we weren’t really ‘friends’ in the true sense of the word. We never actively hung out or spent time together outside of class. It was after James’ little obsession with Lily started, and he was trying to pursue her and she kept turning him down. He came to me one day saying that he wanted me to befriend you. I looked at him like he was bonkers because you weren’t normally the type of person I’d be friends with. I mean yeah you were kind and friendly, but I also thought you were kind of...odd and weird. Like when you would just silently stare at me with those big wide eyes when you thought I wasn’t looking.”

He couldn’t help but smile at the embarrassed flush that spread across her cheeks.

“I asked him if he was daft, why would he want me to actively pursue a friendship with you. He said, ‘Because she’s Lily’s best friend. And if Lily sees that our best friends have become friends, it might push her towards me’. I wasn’t too keen on the idea honestly, but he was my best mate and I wanted to help him out.”

Nodding slowly as she listened, Lyra chewed on her bottom lip. “So essentially what you are saying is that the only reason you befriended me is because James talked you into it, and that you both were using me so he could get closer to Lily?” she asked, a hurt expression crossing her features.

Sirius winced at her words. “When you put it like that...yeah that sounds pretty horrible.” he said, giving her an apologetic look. “But...it was the best thing I’ve ever done. I very quickly saw what a loyal and faithful and caring friend you were. I actually remember the exact moment I realized that. When you found me after that fight and my face was all busted up, and you took me by the hand and led me over to the lake. You transfigured your robes into a blanket for us to sit on before taking this little white handkerchief out of your bag. You dipped it into the water and started cleaning away the blood. Your hands were so gentle, and your eyes full of kindness. I...I had never had anyone take care of me like that before. It was at that moment I realized just how much of an amazing person you are, and that I was damn lucky to have you in my life.”

The memory flashed through Lyra’s mind too. She could remember it as if it happened yesterday and it made her smile softly. But the smile fell quickly as she thought about the secret he had just told her.

Sirius saw the disconcerted look on her face as she replayed everything he had just told her in her mind. Guilt flooded into his chest as he reached out to grasp both her hands in his. “I know in the beginning I befriended you under false pretenses. And it was wrong...it was so very wrong of me. But even though it started out that way it didn’t stay that way. Your friendship means so much to me and if I’ve hurt you I’m so very sorry. Please...please forgive me.”

Lyra took a deep breath and swallowed as everything tumbled about her mind. His confession did hurt. But she could hear the sincerity in his voice and see it in his eyes as he pleaded for her to forgive him. Letting out a sigh she laced their fingers together and gave his hands a gentle squeeze. “It’s ok.” she assured him, smiling at the relief that fell over his features as she watched him. “Why or how it started doesn’t matter, what matters is where we are now.”

“Thank you.” Sirius breathed as the tightness in his chest dissipated and relief washed over him. He reached up with one hand to cup her cheek, smiling as she nuzzled into it. What he didn’t realize is that no matter what it was he had done, she’d forgive him anything. “How are you? Do you feel better now that you’ve gotten everything off your chest?” he asked.

Lyra smiled and nodded.

“Just do me a favour, please? Don’t hide from me okay?” Sirius asked her, glancing into her eyes and then turning his head away. His hand left her face and fell to his side. “With everything that is going on, with this bloody war looming over us, I really just...I want us all to be together as much as we can right now.”

Lyra reached up to gently take his face into her hands and turned him back to look at her. “I promise to always be at your side and give you strength when you feel you have none,” she insisted, her thumbs gently gracing over his cheek bones. “And if I get scared and feel like everything is too much to deal with and I run and I hide...follow me and stay with me no matter how much I fight it. We’ll lean on each other and give each other the strength to get through the darkness. Promise?”

“I promise,” Sirius nodded his head, and managed a smile. “We should get back or they’ll worry even more than they are.”

Lyra felt her heart skip a little as he smiled. Her mothers words were true, his smile did make her melt. Before she could stop herself she leaned in to give him a comforting kiss on the cheek, her face and neck flushing dark as she pulled away to stand up. “I’m sure they know we’re ok, but like you said we all need to be together as much as we can.” she said as she held her hand out to him.

Casting her another smile Sirius took her hand and got to his feet. “Indeed we do.” he said, straightening out their clothes with a quick charm.

“And I promise I’ll try to not let...the feelings...make anything weird between us.” Lyra said softly, lowering her eyes to the ground as she squeezed his hand. She still felt anxious and awkward about him knowing, but as long as it wasn’t talked about she felt like she could deal with it.

Sirius shook his head letting out a soft chuckle before tugging at her hand, pulling her close and wrapping his arms around her in another hug. “Don’t worry about it, we’ll be fine. I promise.” He assured her, resting his chin atop her head as he felt her cuddle into his chest. “Don’t ever feel like you have to hide what you’re feeling. Don’t feel like you have to bottle anything up, you’re allowed to talk about it. It’s ok.”

Lyra closed her eyes and smiled, pressing her face into his chest as she hugged him. They stayed there together like that for a few moments, Sirius swaying them back and forth, before they pulled apart. “Thank you.”

Sirius just grinned and winked as he took her by the hand and the two of them headed out of the bathroom and walked down the corridor hand in hand. Their friends looked up with relieved faces when they got back to the car they were sharing, Lily jumping up to pull her best friend into a hug.

“We weren’t sure if you’d be hungry so we bought some food from the trolly witch.” Remus said, looking between the two trying to gauge the situation. “Is everything ok?”

“Uh, no not really,” Lyra answered as she sat with Lily, Sirius planting himself down on her other side. “But it will be.” Her stomach let out a growl then as she eyed the roast beef sandwich that was sitting there with the other items they had gotten to eat. She didn’t realize how much time had passed sitting in that bathroom with Sirius, and she was positively famished. “What did we miss?” she asked as she grabbed the sandwich and ripped open the packaging, taking a hungry bite.

“Well, James and Lily were just announcing that they’ve made head boy and girl.” Remus announced as James and Lily showed off their badges with pride.

Lyra was mid bite of her sandwich as her eyes went wide and she looked between the two. “What?” she exclaimed, her mouth still full. She swallowed quickly and grinned. “That’s great.”

“How the hell did you get to be head boy?” Sirius exclaimed, a look of horror on his face.

The others laughed, shaking their heads. “Perhaps Dumbledore thought if James was given a position with responsibility, he’d be able to keep you in line better.” Lily suggested with a smirk.

Sirius let out a barking laugh and rolled his eyes. “Yeah fat chance of that happening. No one can tame this beast. Not even dear sweet Jamsie.” he snorted, reaching out to grab some snacks to eat while Lyra continued eating her sandwich.

“Seriously though, Pads we HAVE to come up with something epic to prank Dumbledore with during his speech,” James whined, giving a pout. “We’ve had all summer, how have we not figured something out yet?”

“I don’t know.” Sirius groaned, reaching up to rub his face. “But it has to be epic. It’s our last year, you know that Dumbledore is expecting us to pull off something epic.”

“Or maybe James being made Head Boy is him trying to hint to you that with his new responsibilities, he shouldn’t be screwing around with pranks?” Lily asked, raising an eyebrow slightly. “Perhaps he just wants a calm and quiet start of the year feast.”

James and Sirius looked at Lily with bewilderment before looking to each other. They burst out laughing, shaking their heads as James leaned over to gently pat her hand. “That was a good one, love.” he said, snorting back another laugh. Remus just smiled and shook his head, letting out a chuckle.

Even Lyra rolled her eyes and giggled a bit. “Come on Lily, you had to know how ridiculous that would sound. Causing trouble is literally in their blood.” she said. Finishing her sandwich she brushed the crumbs off her hands and lap as she looked around. “Did you guys get anything to drink?” she asked.

After sending Peter off to get some drinks from the trolly witch, they continued discussing their prank conundrum. After spending much time humming and hawing over possible ideas, they were unable to come up with anything sufficient in their minds. Lyra had been looking out the window watching as the light of the sky slowly faded away when something popped into her mind on a whim.

“Hey,” she started, turning to face them. “What about fireworks? Like maybe during the sorting ceremony when each first year is sorted into a house, when the sorting hat announces what house they’re to be placed in, fireworks in the shape of that house's crest and colours could go off above them near the ceiling.” she explained, looking between the three boys. “I mean yeah it’s not exactly a prank per se, but it would certainly be memorable.”

James, Sirius, and Remus listened intently to Lyra’s suggestion before looking around at each other. A thoughtful silence fell upon the car as they mulled the idea over in their heads. It was Remus who broke the silence first.

“You know, it’s not a bad idea.” he said, looking between James and Sirius. “She’s right it might not really be a prank but...I like it.”

The other two thought it over a little longer before grinning and nodding. “Yeah that sounds pretty good.” James said.

Sirius beamed at Lyra, resting his hand against her head as he leaned over to kiss the top of it. “It’s a wonderful idea. Such a smart girl.” he crooned, making Lyra flush.

Hearing the sound of the car door open they looked over to see Peter returning with some drinks for them. He smiled faintly as he handed them out.

“Oi Pete...we figured out what we’re doing.” James said with an ecstatic grin on his face, filling Peter in on the plan. For the last hour of the train ride it was as if Lyra and Lily were invisible. They looked at each other with smiles before looking back to the four boys as they excitedly plotted ways to pull off the scheme.

It was the start of their final year, and it was going to start off with a bang.

#Harry Potter fanfic #Marauders Era #James x Lily #James Potter x Lily Evans #Sirius x OC #Sirius Black x OC #James Potter #Sirius Black #Remus Lupin #Peter Pettigrew #Moony #Wormtail #Padfoot #Prongs #Jily

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nah-she-didnt · 3 years

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Toujours Aimé

Read on AO3!

Four fifteen year olds, a bottle of fire whiskey, quill ink, and a sewing needle do not mix well together.

**Disclaimer:** sitck and poke tattoos scare the shit out of me and I only vaguely know how they work, so kids, don’t try this at home! And definitely don’t let a fifteen year old dumbass (affectionate) sitck and poke you in the woods with only fire to sanitize...

“OUCH!” James yelped dramatically.

“Hold still!”

“I can’t! You lied, you said this wouldn’t hurt a bit!”

“I said it wouldn’t hurt that bad, you big baby. I’m repeatedly stabbing you with a needle, of course it hurts!”

“I am not a baby! I just wasn’t properly prepared for the pain and suffering that I would have to endure for this.”

Bemused, Remus shook his head. He was trying very hard not to laugh at his friend’s surprisingly low pain tolerance, for at this moment Remus was trying to keep his hand as still as a statue has he held the needle next to James’ skin.

“It’s a stick and poke tattoo, James,” said Remus patiently, “the stick and poke part should have been a dead giveaway. Now, will you sit still so that I can finish this?”

James sighed, slumping back against the tree stump behind him. “Alright then, just hurry up. Muggles are mad, mad! I don’t know why I ever agreed to this in the first place!”

“Because it looks badass,” smirked Sirius, “Admit it, you’re hoping Evans will swoon when she sees that snitch across your shoulder blade when you inevitably take your shirt off in the common room gain.”

James blushed furiously. “Shut it.”

“I don’t think Evans seems like a tattoo-girl,” said Peter thoughtfully, “she’s rather uptight, wouldn’t you say?”

“Principled,” protested James, “she’s principled, not uptight.”

“Yeah, and her first principle is that you are an absolute git.”

“Shut it again.”

Remus loved nights like this. There were only two weeks left in the summer holidays, and then they would start their fifth year at Hogwarts. The lads had gathered at The Potters’ house earlier that day to set off on a muggle camping trip. They’d hiked to the top of a wooded hill for about two hours before they found the perfect spot, set up camp, and ate overcooked sausages and lukewarm beans from tin cans as the sun set. They were currently sitting around the fire passing around a bottle of Ogden’s under the vast sea of stars above.

Sirius had brought up a tattoo a lion that he’d seen on the forearm of a man in the muggle village they passed on their hike. Remus casually mentioned the process of how muggle tattoos were performed, and before he knew it the marauders were insisting that Remus tattoo them all there and now. Once he reluctantly revealed that he did indeed have a sewing needle in his camping pack the boys were decided.

Remus paused his poking to observe his work. He was currently working on the outline of a snitch across James’ right shoulder blade. He was pleased to note that the tattoo looked rather realistic. Remus couldn’t help but be impressed with himself, he always had a knack for drawing.

“Peter, distract me,” panted James, still shutting his eyes tight against the prick of Remus’ needle. “Have you decided on yours yet?”

“How about a wheel of cheese?” Sirius said seriously, putting a finger to his chin as if deep in thought, “Or, perhaps Mickey Mouse, right across your left bum cheek. That will surely impress the ladies,”

“Shove it,” barked Peter, looking annoyed. He was a bit sensitive about his animagi form and all cheese-related humor. “I thought about maybe the Hogwarts crest? Or a ‘G’ for ‘Gryffindor.”

Remus shook his head. “It needs to be something personal to you, something with hidden significance. It should be something only you fully understand, but that those who are close to you can recognize and appreciate.”

“Damn, Moony,” grinned Sirius, “that was deep.”

“I have my moments,” Remus said, blushing slightly.

“Right, I’ve picked mine then!” cried Sirius, clapping his hands together for emphasis.

“Go on, then,” James prompted.

Sirius paused for dramatic effect, then threw his arms into the air for emphasis. “It’s going to be a wolf howling at the moon!”

There was a moment of stunned silence. Remus’ needle lay limp in his hand as he let Sirius’ pronouncement sink in.

“A wolf... You mean like a....” James began cautiously, as if he wanted to be incorrect.

“Yeah, like Moony, get it?” Sirius beamed. “You know, because if we hadn’t met Moony and -- you know -- werewolf Moony, then we wouldn’t be the marauders that we are today!” His face was starting to falter now, as if he realized that this idea was not popular among the group at large. He frowned defensively. “The secret that really drew us together, the reason we did all that damn work to become animagi last year. Don’t you guys think that’s the perfect thing to commemorate?”

Remus’ heart had sunk into his stomach. The idea of his secret, the horror that lived so close to his surface every day of his life, would be displayed so publicly was almost to much to bear. So too was the idea that he himself was asked to etch his greatest shame onto his best friend’s skin.

“Mate, I don’t think that’s the best idea...” said James, a warning tone starting to grow in his voice, “maybe you should pick something else.”

“No, listen,” Sirius implored, “It’s going to be so cool. It could be like, I dunno, howling at the moon, or running through the woods, or--”

“Tearing itself apart, alone, in the shrieking shack?” Said Remus, his expression cool.

No one spoke. For a few moments all that could be heard was the crackling of the campfire and the rustling of the trees in the night breeze. Remus did not take his eyes off of James’ skin as he finished the last of the snitch.

“Look, Moony--” Sirius started, then seemed to catch himself, “Remus, that isn’t what I meant. But you’re right,” he looked panicked then, “you’re absolutely right, I shouldn’t have said that. Of course you wouldn’t want that, I was just being stupid. I only meant--”

“I know,” said Remus quickly, “I know what you meant. Let’s just drop it, alright?”

Sirius gazed intently at Remus for a beat, then nodded, “Alright, we’ll drop it.”

The four boys sat in awkward silence, watching Remus finish James’ tattoo. Once he was done, he put down the needle and stretched. “Alright, mate, you’re all set. Sorry that I don’t have a lollipop to give you for being such a good boy.”

“A what?” Asked James, flexing his right arm after over half an hour of sitting still.

“Never mind. Alright, who’s next?”

Peter and Sirius looked at each other. “I still haven’t thought of anything good,” shrugged Peter.

Sirius looked into his lap. “Yeah, well, neither have I, obviously.”

Remus sighed. This was certainly not how he’d hoped the night would go. He started to clean the dirty needle in the campfire flames. There is absolutely no way this is sanitary, he thought to himself, these better not get infected because if James has to go to St. Mungo’s for ink poisoning his mum will murder me.

“What about Sirius?” asked James.

“What about me?”

“No, git, what about ‘Sirius’ the star? What if you got the constellation, what’s it called again? Anus Major?”

“Canis Major,” corrected Sirius quickly, “I dunno, I suppose that could be good. But it’ll just remind me of my dear old mum and dad, and my family’s insane obsession with stars as family names.”

“How about a beater’s bat?” suggested Peter hopefully.

“Seems a bit obvious,” shrugged Sirius. “I need something obscure, something that has meaning.”

“Toujours aimé“ whispered Remus.

The boys looked up. “What?” asked James.

Remus lifted his head and looked Sirius straight in the eye. “Toujours aimé, french for ‘always loved.’ You know, a spin on that ‘toujours pur’ ‘always pure’ nonsense.”

Sirius looked dumbfounded. He sat staring at Remus with glassy eyes as something in his head seemed to click. He then smiled wider than he had all evening.

“My god, Moony, that’s it! It’s wicked cool, a big ol’ ‘fuck you’ to mum and dad, and it’ll look great on.” Sirius hurried quickly over to take James’ place next to Remus. He rolled up his sleeve and pointed to his forearm. “I want it right along here, along my left forearm. So they’ll know there’s no room for the dark mark they surely want to put there.”

Remus smiled at his friend’s conviction. Sirius was ever the Gryffindor.

---

Several hours later Remus lay wide awake staring at the roof of the tent. He’d tattooed ‘Toujours Aimé’ down Sirius’ left arm as requested. He’d chosen a simple yet elegant cursive for the font, and shaded the letters so that they seemed to pop against his soft skin. Remus shook his head vigorously. He had to stop thinking about how soft his best mate’s skin was. Or how his forearm muscles clenched as Remus stuck the needle into his skin over and over again. How Sirius would wince at the pain, sucking in a sharp breath so close to Remus’ ear--

“Remus?”

Remus started out of his memory. Sirius was sitting up on his elbows, looking at him from across the snoring forms of James and Peter.

“Yeah?”

“Are you awake?”

“Nope, just a perceptive sleep talker.”

“Ha. Well, I can’t sleep with these trolls. Fancy a walk?”

Remus nodded, taking care not to kick Peter in the head as he pulled on his long pants before stepping through the tent flap into the cool night air. He and Sirius fell into an easy step next to one another as they made their way back to the campfire. A few small embers still glowed in the hearth.

Sirius looked intently at Remus. “Remus, mate, I have to say again how sorry I am. That must have been awful for you, the idea that I would put you on display like that. That I could risk your secret. I shouldn’t have said it, I just got caught up in the excitement. You know, everything we’ve achieved and everything we’ve done together. I never knew that friends like you lot were possible growing up. I still can’t believe sometimes how lucky I got when I met you... you know, uh, all of you,” Sirius corrected himself.

Remus nodded as Sirius talked and waited until he was sure that Sirius had finished his apology. He was trying very hard not to make eye contact with Sirius for he was sure that his eyes would display the emotion he felt at Sirius’ words. He, too, had never known that friendship like this was possible. Remus had spent so much of his childhood completely without the company of anyone who could be considered a true friend. The day he’d met the marauders had changed his life. He understood completely Sirius’ hunger to brand himself with the connection they’d all forged. Finally, he smiled, looking back into Sirius’ face.

“I know all of that, mate. I know exactly how it feels. My life completely changed the day I met you -- and James and Pete, of course. I know you don’t see me as the wolf. It just throws me off, you know, every time I remember that you all know that part of me. I hate that you have to know that part,” he spat bitterly.

Sirius put his hand on Remus’ knee. “I love that part of you. I love every part of you, Moony. You’re my best mate.”

Remus smiled, suddenly embarrassed. “Come on, mate, be serious,”

“I am Sirius.”

“I really walked into that one, didn’t I?”

“Prat,” Sirius grinned.

Remus took a deep breath. “You know, that’s why I suggested ‘always loved.’ Because your parents and their mania aren’t what matter most to you. You know you would die for your friends, and that they would die for you, because the love you. Because we do, you know, love you.”

Sirius looked into the fire now, nodding slightly at Remus’ words. Remus was sure that he could see tears forming in his friend’s eyes. Sirius sniffed loudly and slapped Remus’ knee with the hand that still lay there.

“Come on, enough of this sappy nonsense. What say we finish off the rest of the Ogden’s and go to bed? We’ll surely have a long day of listening to James whine about his tattoo hurting all the way home tomorrow.”

An hour later, when he was back in his sleeping bag, staring up at the ceiling again, Remus couldn’t help but think how lucky he was to have his friends. They could have so easily denied him when they found out who he was, but instead they changed their whole lives for him. He felt his chest swell with emotion at the thought of all they’d done for him, the thought that they’d achieved the impossible for him... the thought that less than an hour ago Sirius had his hand on his knee.

Remus groaned quietly, rolling over to stuff his face into his pillow. He clearly had much bigger problems on the horizon than whether or not James got ink poisoning. f

#nina writes #wolfstar #wolfstar fic #marauders #marauders fic #remus lupin x sirius black #remus lupin #sirius black #cw: alcohol #cw: needles #tattoos #don't try this at home #poor baby bisexual remus #we've all been there budy #mine

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aggresivelyfriendly · 4 years

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To Be So Lonely- Chapter 4

California Dreamin

Hi all! It has been ages, but at least one person is still interested, so nanny chapter ahoy! I gave this a revise and a quick read, so.... all mistakes, as ever, are mine!

Enjoy!

Harry didn't like to think of it as plotting.

He was just taking care of her. Right? She needed to relax. She ran herself ragged. We're all attorneys so dedicated? Admittedly, he didn't know a lot of lawyers, it didn't seem a career people were borne for, but if anybody was made to wear the wig, it was Vee. It was admirable, how hard she worked, how much she worked. She might be the most productive person he knew, that may also be because he came from academia. Some people published so fast your head spun, others, didn't. But Vee put the p in productivity. That's why she got the heavy cases, like the one she was coming off. Plus, when she got home, she tried to do as much as possible with the twins. She'd totally kicked him out of last week's wakings though she hasn't slept much.

"Go, I need time with my babies." With a hand wave and a look that brooked no argument, he was dismissed like a case she saw holes in from day one. He'd lingered, just a moment, to watch her scoop up Teo. Belli was still sleeping, but stirring from the noise. A swirl of her tummy with Vee's manicured hand, and she was out. Mateo was quiet now on her shoulder too now. Her beautiful hand splayed over his back at the moment. Harry had no idea when she had time to get her nails done. Maybe her Lunch hour? Though she came home then when she could. He knew it was devotion, to the babies, not her nails. That was probably required to look "professional." She must squeeze those in on the days she wasn't huddling home to see the twins, she loved them so, said it was worth it.

However, he suspected it was guilt as well over the case taking so much time, lots of late nights and missed bed times. She's worked herself to the bone, and he knew better than to mention the dark circles bruised beneath her eyes. He still saw them though. So he'd called his uncle, his pseudo uncle, and got them the place. Even promised he'd help pay for the trip James and his family had take last minute so Harry, Vee and the babies could be alone.

"With what?" His uncle chuckled. "I Know your da tied up your trust fund because you aren't doing an MBA!"

"I'm thirty. I can make my own decisions." Harry insisted. And if that meant he had to pay his own way, that was a learning experience, real adulting too. He told himself everyday he worked to go back to school, and now just did because he couldn't imagine not, that this was the way it was supposed to be. His life hadn't been Normal. Even compared to the other students on his Ivy League program with him.

"You can, but you have to then pay your own way." He could hear the shrug, and the pride. It's why his Dad's best friend was his favorite. Harry knew he sided with him. "But, enough of the tough love stuff. On to the real thing. Why do we have to make ourselves scarce? Something going on?" He left the insinuation heavy in his voice.

"No, C'mon man. She's my boss. She just needs a break. Case has been a killer. And then she's always trying to be super mum when she's home too and not let me do night duty." Harry rolled his eyes like James could see him.

His uncle whistled, "She must be a looker, if you're talking like a husband not the help."

Harry scoffed without any control. The help. Ouch. He didn't feel like help, he felt, needed. "Fuck off. It's not like that. It's professional. She doesnt see me like that anyway. Not her type."

"Oh, I see, that why she did a donor dad? She like ladies?" Harry honestly couldn't tell if he was taking the piss, plus he wanted to give a social justice rant, but knew his Uncle was more messing with him than bigoted, he hoped.

"No! No, least I don't think so?" She wasn't, was she? "Not that it would matter if she was." He protested. He honestly could not tell why it bothered him.

"Oh, quite." James was still amused and Harry was going to make more heavy weather of it, but Harry decided to ignore his uncles tone and teasing.

"James?" He cajoled.

"So, daddy," he'd even ignore the occasional dig, he was glad his uncle couldn't see his lip curl, and that he got back to brass tacks. "What dates are we being kicked about?"

"In two weeks for two weeks." Harry was looking at the calendar she had of Selena to see how she'd marked it. Everything went into calendars, paper ones. Even though their google one synced to her iPhone. Victoria needed the order, she was so busy. The Selena calendar was just a nod to the other part of her, that wasn't run by a clock and schedule. She loved Selena.

He'd discovered this by accident.

She was so cute when she was unguarded. He was sure that he never would have found out the personal morsel if she hadn't been super stressed and decided to dance it out. She hadn't been expecting him home, he could tell that for sure, she had a red dress on, for the occasion he supposed, though her hair was still up in the mom bun her long tresses were usually scraped up into, and she was barefooted. The dress and her feet were making the most of the Latin beat. Harry was sure he would have watched for quite a while longer had she not performed an impressive turn and opened her eyes to sing "bidi bidi bum bum." He assumed she was looking to use the microwave as a mirror. Give her self a wink maybe.

He couldn't dance, but watching her made him want to learn.

"Ayyy!" She placed her hand over her heart. "Por favor Harry! Don't sneak up on me like that!"

" I didn't mean to!" He proclaimed. "The kiddos," he gestured to the dowsing twins in their Bob double stroller. "Were just done with the park. You ok now?" He was suppressing his mirth, it's not like he caught her with her hand in a cookie jar.

"Yeah, yeah, my heart rate is back to normal." He wasn't sure that was true, her breath was still rapid. "Put those dimples away!"

"There are no dimples." He tried to make his face as flat as the pancakes the kids liked from a Trader Joe's. He knew his face was probably betraying him. That muscular defect showed unless his face was truly neutral, and he was definitely engaged, amused.

"Stop laughing at me!" She glowered. Oh! Her flush was lovely.

He finally just burst out, with the ridiculous laugh, the one that was like a opening shot at the races.

Vee was certainly off. She dissolved into giggles too. And then they were laughing together until they were just looking at one another. Harry let the dimples bloom fully then, Couldn't help it, really.

Victoria took a big breath, notched her chin back and forth an inch or two, and said, "Pardon, I'm gonna go change."

"Dress is pretty." He let slip. She shot him a warning look, but she was smiling, so he felt the need to push a bit more. "A little formal for nap time." Her flipped up middle finger as she rounded the hallway entrance made him snicker. He controlled it so he didn't hear that tone she used on the phone some times. He didn't want to be on the receiving end of that, he didn't think.

He'd been clicking a button on Amazon a moment later on the Selena calendar. Well, after he googled the lyrics to figure out who she had been dancing to. Then he remembered another little detail they'd need in the beach house.

"Oh, set up the crib!" The babies could have the third bedroom. Between him and Vee, so they could share duties. She needed rest. He was gonna try to slyly make sure he took the first night shift. She'd want to hear them, and he was sure he couldn't pull it past her if he put them on one end and her on another.

James laughed. "Jesus, should I also call the chef?" He was joking. Harry wasn't.

"Yeah, at least give me the number. She doesn't cook. Maybe buy a second crib."

"Do you cook then?" His uncle could barely keep the mirth from frothing over.

"Yeah, when she works late. So she doesn't have to eat out all day." Where was the shame in being kind?

"Oh, Harry, you better hope she's a looker and does like men, cuz if you aren't gunning for daddy, you are most certainly the help." He wasn't even trying to hide the cackle.

The help? That smarted like a slap across the ass cheek, though it was definitely unreasonable to be bothered. "Well, I am the nanny. And I definitely try to be helpful."

"Yes, employee of the month." James kept laughing at Harry while they said their goodbyes. He could hear the snickers and was sure he would be telling Jules the moment they got off then phone.

He'd got off the phone and thought about whether he was the help for ages. Railing against the insinuation.

Then accepting it, of course he was the help! He was hired help. Must be his upbringing that was showing in his annoyance at the term. He'd need to work on that. Get over himself and his privilege.

And be the best damn help he could be.

The alternative as to why he was so bothered, he couldn't think about that. Or James's ideas about his design on daddy. Though his mind did a little wander down that trail.

Gunning for daddy, how ridiculous! He just appreciated her, respected her, liked her. He tried to make her life better, like she did him, dancing to Selena and smiling and such.

Shit.

Or giving him a job and gifting him with time with her enchanting, infuriating babies. That was where his locus of gratitude was, right? Not for the chance to be close to her.

He decided to distract himself from surfacing realizations. So he dove into planning.

He thought about his own time there, and did some googling. At first he was thinking they'd just sit on the beach a ton, he'd spent hours staring at the waves like he'd once inhabited the waters and they were calling him home. When he thought more of it, he realized that was what Vee needed, but she'd bail by day three if laying about was the only plan. They'd have to get into something else too. He reckoned outside, with sunshine, and something physical.

Hiking, once she got sick of the beach, or pool, or both. That would do the trick.

This was going to be so relaxing. He wondered if they could take the twins hiking? He was researching back pack carriers when she came home.

"Do you like hiking?" He asked immediately after he said hi. He had to restrain himself from kissing her cheek hello while he scrolled through his phone.

He'd ask himself what was going on, but it would be a lie. He'd kinda known, that he was feeling at the very least familial towards her, but ever since his Uncle razed him about liking her, he was much more aware of it.

Ignorance really could be bliss. Because he was now aware of what he was missing and his subterranean wants. It had started normally, with no romantic inclinations. When he'd come for his interview, she'd impressed him, and she'd looked really tired. But pretty, really pretty, and she had made some gorgeous kids. She could use him, his help, and he could learn from her. He just knew it.

Then his crush has sort of just grown in the background, like the tomato plant his mum had growing up. He was sure it took tending, but he never saw any take place. His only memory of it was when he was forced to help build the raised bed, and picking fat green caterpillars off of it once until he put one in his sister's hair, he was off tomato duty then. After that, all he recalled was being overwhelmed by the hordes of red ripe fruit that came from it when the sun was high. He supposed he'd had a foundational moment he didn't recognize during his interview either.

Partly, he remembered really wanting this job, to help and support this family, this woman. So he supposed his level of engagement was different even in the first stage, a compulsion, just not parental.

He didn't do much tending, not to his budding crush, but he supposed when he caught her dancing and not only was moved by her hips but couldn't help but notice her lively eyes and her vanished dark circles, was some sort of middle stage.

Today, getting off the phone with his uncle was seeing all the fruit of the labor he wasn't even aware he was doing. He'd been tending and tilling, spacing and watering, nurturing his interest.

Now he just had to decide what to do about it.

Option one, ignore it, and they continue living as they have been. Like some version of a family; they're certainly a team, but one where he is the impermanent piece, like the quarterback about to graduate onto new things. Harry doesn't want new things, well he doesn't think so. He's fairly certain he wants this team, Vee as his coach and the twins as the freshman walk ons. He's just not sure how to get it.

So, option one seems no good. He doesn't want to just pretend he hasn't realized his feelings. He's known since day one he admired Vee, adored the twins. He still felt those things, they'd just deepened and he wanted to put their needs right before his own for the foreseeable future. Which was why he'd once again delayed going back to school. Another extension. He'd told himself it was about the money, and he did need that, but really he wasn't ready to be here less.

Option two, he's direct. He's imagined that scenario in his head. The setting as the living room they share. He can tell they've just gotten back, their cheeks sun kissed by the California sun, and their suitcases still full in the living area.

"Vee, have a seat. It's been a long day. Want some wine?" Should you be able to hear the nerves in your voice in a daydream?

"Yes please." She'd sigh. And he'd only heard that like twice when he made this offer in real life, so further proof he was imagining best case scenario. After a few sips, he can imagine he'd get caught up watching her relax and be mesmerized by the working of her throat. It would take courage, but she'd be relaxed and he'd be keyed up by the two weeks of her in swimsuits and watching her lick the rim of her wine glass with her eyes closed. Sometimes excitement was related to bravery.

"Vee," he'd start, "Victoria," so she'd know he was serious. Her eyes would open, connect to his. Then, he'd just say it.

But what? I'd like to take you out. I think I have feelings for you. No. I do have feelings for you. Should I just move into your bedroom? What does your kiss taste like?

He had no idea how to tell her his heart, and that seemed like an odd place to start considering they basically lived together. Shit, would she fire him? He needed the job, and the twins, oh god! He'd miss them so.

He couldn't come out of left field then. He'd need to feel her out, flirt, watch for reactions. Malibu seemed like an ideal place to move beyond the support he showed her. The sunsets and skin had to be romantic. It felt romantic to him when he was there alone, the feeling would magnify with a love interest. He'd roll his eyes at himself if he could see his reflection. He just had to see if he was interesting to her, on her romantic radar. If she seemed bewildered or put off, he'd save his job and let his feelings fester, save money and go back to school. Try to move on.

He'd have to find a way to stay in touch with the twins.

Or, she'd be receptive.

That might have been a scarier thought. More exciting too! He'd start sooner. A glass of wine, he'd let his hand linger when he handed it to him.

But she'd just begged off for her bed. "You're so charming, Styles!" He'd teased himself as he went to bed, well tossed and turned all night. He'd needed mountains of iced coffee to stay awake the next day on their flights, the babies were cranky too. They must be feeding off his energy, and Hers. Vee looked wiped as well, so every time he got himself a refresh, he got her one too. Everything took forever, and he was vibrating by the time they picked up their rental. The babies were slowly fading and Vee looked more keyed up than him. They needed to relax, a way to unwind.

That's when the idea sparked him. The pool, the sunset, and a night cap that he could extend into drinks. All the makings of a romantic evening, or a relaxing one. He'd just lean into whatever way she seemed to be veering.

His imagination had hoped though, as he distracted himself from waiting for service in the line.

He started with thoughts of kissing her, tasting the cool water beading on her lips and the contrast of the warm recesses of her mouth. He might have groaned out loud if Belli hadn't whined.

The traffic was a welcome distraction from his nerves and though he knew the way, Vee drove and it took just that bit longer for her lack of familiarity. Especially with traffic. He offered to do it, but she'd got the rental, at her insístanle since he'd put so much work into the trip and found free accommodations. Her name was on it. "You get to play navigator, and she'd found the energy to wink!

Good sign?

The drive knocked out the crank pots in the backseat, though they had screamed until the Mulholland Pass. Until Harry realized the sun was in their eyes directly. He'd hopped over the seats and blocked it with his hands. It wasn't comfortable, but got took away the overstimuli for all the occupants of the car. Once they pass out, he and Vee shared a relieved pair of sighs. That got his mind wandering again, about other shared exhales. Soon they were pulling up the familiar beach side road and parking, each taking a baby in hand and communicating with their eyes to get them in the house.

Once Teo was in his crib, Harry cocked his head to the driveway and moved behind her. She nodded, understanding he'd unload the car while she settled Belli. She was the hard case. Harry tried to be businesslike about it, though he admitted the brush of his front to her back was more than accidental plus, he sniffed her, inaudible. She smelled of plane, and baby, and coffee. And Vee. He smiled on his way out the doorway and it encouraged him, how well they did this together.

He dropped the bags, the many bags, she'd packed just inside her door and was in his room and rooting for the swim trunks he'd packed on top before he knew it. He text her directions to meet him out back and went before his nerves could get the best of him.

Did she like tattoos? Would they turn her off? She knew about his arms, he was fairly certain he'd been wearing a t shirt at his interview. His collection was extensive though. Eye-catching, in his experience with romantic interests, usually compelling. Unless she hated body art.

Too late to do anything now, years late, and since when was he self conscious, especially about his tattoos.

He needed to get a move on if he was gonna be ready for her. He thought he knew James, well, in this case Julia, well enough that they'd have what he was looking for, probably already chilled.

He found the Moët and grabbed the glasses by the stem and huddled outside. The gorgeous weather wrapped around him, more comfortable than any sweater and the water enveloped his thighs. If she came out soon, hopefully in a suit. They'd just catch the sunset. Her skin would look so pretty in the golden light, and then moon light, probably any light. Still, he was going to keep track of her changes. He tanned well, he could show imagine how tawny she would get. His confidence was returning with his plan working out so well and his desires so near the surface. Should he pour the champagne, or would the bottle popping be a nice official start to the vacation? He was mulling it over waist deep in the water when her voice caught his attention.

"Dios Mío!" He heard from over his shoulder, and when he looked back, he would have said the same but it had little to do with the sunset he assumed she was marvelling over and everything to do with Vee.

He nearly forgot the champagne and cavemanned her over his shoulder and straight into where he was in over his head.

But that was overly forward. He at least needed to get her wet before he dove into the deep end.

#harry styles #harry styles fanfiction #harry styles fanfic #tbsl #to be so lonely #nanny fic #chapter 4

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theydontknowaboutusimagines · 4 years

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A Birthday On Holiday - Harry Styles One Shot

*Companion one shot to my Hookup on Holiday mini series.

Growing up next to Harry meant you’ve celebrated many birthdays with him. Between the two of you, there’s been the tacky, cheesy kid parties in the 90′s. The oddly themed parties that were a mess as you got older, and of course the attempt at “cool” parties as teenagers. So, with Harry’s birthday coming up and the success of his second album, you decided to plan a special getaway for the two of you and with a few friends.

When it comes to surprises, Harry was the one always surprising you in your relationship, which is why you were dead set on taking Harry on this holiday without him knowing anything. The most he knew was that you two and a few friends would be going on a holiday for his birthday. But he didn’t know where, for how long, or where you would be staying. To make sure no spilled the beans to him, you didn’t tell anyone else any details either.

The look on everyone’s face when you all arrived at the private, three story villa, in Costa Adeje in Tenerife.

“Yeah, I know,” you smirked flipping your hair back. “I’m good.”

Everyone laughed as you all walked inside, going on a tour to find the bedrooms. When you and Harry arrived in the master suite, he wrapped his arms around your waist, pulling you closer to him. He pressed kisses all over your face as he held you close causing you to laugh.

“I love you. I love you. I love you,” he smiled. “I can’t believe you did this.”

“Well, believe it,” you smiled. “Because you deserve every bit of this. I’m so proud of you.”

“Thank you, baby,” he smiled lacing his fingers with yours. “So, what’s on the agenda?”

“I figured we’d all just enjoy the house and the pool tonight and then the real fun starts tomorrow,” you smirked.

“Do any of the activities you’ve got planned involve you being naked?” He smirked.

“A few,” you smirked

“Starting now?” He asked.

Before you could even answer, he picked you up and carried you over to the bed.

Later that night, you all were sitting out on the patio of the villa as the sun was setting for dinner. Everyone was chatting about different things and you loved seeing the smiles on everyone’s faces especially Harry’s.

“So, Harry,” Jeff smirked. “How does it feel having a Sugar Mama to take you to a place like this.”

“Fucking amazing,” Harry smirked giving you a wink.

You smirked taking a sip of your wine, “Now, Jeff how does it feel tagging long on a trip for the man that pays your bills?” You joked.

“Oh shit!” James laughed. “Are we sure it’s not tea time cause a lot of it was just spilled.”

“Hey! You invited me,” Jeff pointed out.

“Is that really your comeback?” You laughed.

“Okay, okay, let’s be nice and enjoy dinner,” Harry laughed. “Anyway, so what do we have planned for the trip?”

“Well, we’ve got some sightseeing things planned, some shopping days, a huge Birthday dinner and a little party time for this one’s birthday,” you smiled.

“What about getting a yacht for the day?” Jeff asked.

“No yachts,” Both Harry and you answered at the same time causing everyone to laugh.

“I’m just going to shut up for the rest of the night,” he laughed.

“Good idea,” Harry joked.

Once dinner was over, everyone remained outside for a few more hours sharing drinks and conversations. You and Harry talked about some different memories of growing up with the other and how you two finally decided to be more than friends.

It had been almost two years since that family holiday where the two of you ended up taking things to the next step after a game of Never Have I Ever. You smiled thinking back to how you felt finally telling him how you felt and having him feel the same way. There was a little mishap with Harry’s ex, but you tried to blockout that whole shit show of a situation.

When it had gotten late, everyone else decided to call it a night, but you and Harry wanted to enjoy some time alone together.

“You know we’ve got our own little hot tub as part of our suite,” you smirked.

“Are you trying to seduce me, Y/N?” He smirked.

“Trying only works if I’m not succeeding,” you smirked. “You and I both know I don’t have to try very hard.”

“Heeey! I don’t know if I should be offended by that or not,” he laughed following you up to the room.

“All it means is your girlfriend’s hot, so why would I have to try very hard,” you joked.

“True,” he nodded.

When you two got up to the room, you went over to where the hot tub was and turned it on. You slipped off your clothes down to your underwear before getting in.

“Ooooh, so that’s how we’re doing this,” he smirked undressing himself and joining you.

“Would you have it any other way?” You asked raising your eyebrow.

“Nope,” he smirked. “Now get over here.”

You laughed as he pulled you into him, wrapping his arms around your waist. You placed your arms on his shoulder. He kissed your cheek before leaning his head onto your shoulder.

“I love you,” he whispered.

“Hm, I love you, too,” you smiled playing his hair.

You felt him smiling against your neck before he started planting kisses along it.

“Now, who’s trying to seduce who?” You smirked.

“Just trying to show my girl some love and affection,” he smirked. “Anything wrong with that?”

“Not at all,” you said.

“Hmm... so you wouldn’t mind if I did this, then?” He smirked bringing one of his hands to cup your chest.

You shook your head, closing your eyes when you felt his lips pressing against the skin of your chest.

“Or this?” He asked.

“Nope, not minding it one bit,” you whispered.

He smirked turning around, so that you were now sitting on the side of the hot tub.

“What are you doing?” You whined. “I’m cold.”

“Patience,” he smirked kissing up your legs.

You groaned looking down at him. He smirked running his hand up your thighs before removing the thin piece of fabric from your body. He pulled you closer towards him and you were practically aching for him to do something. You could feel him smirking as he took his time bringing his lips up your leg.

“Mm.. maybe we should just continue this later,” he smirked. “I’m getting a little tired.”

Harry got up from the hot tub and started making his way out.

“I-What is happening right now?” You said turning around to look at him.

He laughed picking you up, “I’m just teasing,” he said carrying you over to the bed, not caring about how wet the two of you still are. “Now, where was I?” He smirked pressing his lips against yours.

It was the night of the big Birthday dinner and night out with everyone. So far the trip has been amazing and everything you wanted it to be. And it really seemed like Harry was loving every minute. When you were ready to head out, Harry pulled you in for a hug before you two went out to meet with the others.

“What’s this for?” You smiled looking up at him.

“I wanted to thank you again,” he whispered. “There’s no one else I’d rather spend my birthday with, well except maybe my Mum, Dad, and Sister, but all I wanted was to spend my birthday with you and for you to have planned and done all of this... I can’t thank you enough. I’m so grateful and lucky to have you in my life. I love you so much.”

“Fuck you! I just finished my makeup,” you sniffled trying not to ruin your eye makeup. “But you’re welcome. Again you deserve this and I’m happy I was able to pull this off and that you’ve enjoyed it.”

“Oh, I have,” he smirked placing his hands on your cheeks.

“Good, now let’s go really celebrate your birthday,” you smiled.

He nodded before giving you a quick peck on the lips and taking you hands in his before you two headed out with everyone else. The restaurant you had booked had an area on the rooftop that was completely private. There was one long table set up in the middle with portable fire heater things for once the sun went down, lights and balloons were hanging up as well. There was a even a Happy Birthday H - banner and some photos of Harry from when he was younger that were practically poster sized. You even snuck in a photo of you and Harry from when you were younger.

“Wow,” Harry smiled hugging you once again. “This is fucking incredible.”

You smiled kissing his cheek as everyone headed to sit down.

“Y/N, I’ve got to give you props, this is pretty fucking sweet,” Mitch said.

“Thank you,” you smiled. “If this whole singing career doesn’t work out anymore, I’ll take up event planning.”

“I’ll be booking you ASAP,” Glenne smirked.

You giggled taking a sip of your drink. The food was brought out and you all quickly started eating and talking about different things. Some how the conversations always fell back onto the topic of you and Harry growing up.

“Now, I don’t want to be that person, but do you two think you’ll get married?” Sarah asked.

“Yeah,” Harry answered smiling over at you. “Of course, I think our mum’s started planning our weddings since day one, but I definitely see myself growing old with this one.”

Harry brought your hand up to his lips.

“Me too,” you smiled. “With babies running around like their crazy Daddy.”

“That better be me,” he joked.

“Well, I wouldn’t want it to be anyone else, so damn right it’s going to be you,” you smirked.

Harry smiled pressing his lips to yours. Your kiss was interrupted though by the bringing out of the cake. Candles lit up the entire thing and they sat it right in front of him. Everyone started singing Happy Birthday and he blushed a little bit.

“Make a wish, baby,” you smiled.

“I already have everything I could ever want,” he smiled.

You giggled wrapping your arms around his shoulder, “I love you.”

After eating multiple slices of cake and having a bit of a cake fight, you all ended up at a nearby club. It was packed, so Harry held onto your hand as you all made your way through the crowd. You had booked a private booth in a VIP area that was already stocked with bottles of drinks.

Between the drinks from dinner and a few more at the club, you were definitely starting to feel a little more than tipsy. Harry and the rest of the group was too. And just like any other time you and your boyfriend got a bit drunk, you two got even more handsy than normal.

Salsa music was blasting through the speakers and there were mere inches in-between you and him as you danced to the beat. Sweat covered your bodies and your hair was sticking to you. Some of the group had already left, others were still swinging back drinks at the booth.

“We need to get out of here,” Harry whispered in your ear. “I need you.”

Neither of you even said goodbye to the others, just a quick we’re heading back. As soon as you got back to the house, you ran straight up to the bedroom, slamming the door and Harry pressed you against the door. You pulled at his shirt, popping off the remaining buttons of his shirt.

“Oops,” you giggled.

“Looks like you’ll buying me another one,” he smirked.

“Guess so,” you smirked pushing the fabric down his shoulders.

He wrapped one of your legs around his waist. You smirked moving your hips against him causing him to groan. He pulled down the top of your dress, quickly realizing you weren’t wearing a bra. Picking you up he carried you over to the bed where he laid you down pressing his lips against yours as his hands roamed over your body. Your hands were on his cheeks as you deepened the kiss before pushing him onto his back.

He ran his hands up your sides, bringing the zipper down and pulling your dress off.

“God you’re hot,” he mumbled staring up at you.

“You’re not so bad yourself, birthday boy,” you smirked leaning over him. “Now, sit back and relax.”

“Oh fuck,” he practically groaned out.

After a few rounds of birthday sex, the two of you laid cuddled up in the sheets together. His hand was on your ass while you laid your head on his chest.

“Feeling any older?” You giggled.

“Pretty sure I threw my back out, so yeah,” he laughed.

“Sorry,” you giggled kissing his chin. “But other than that how was your birthday?”

“It was more than I could have ever wanted it to be,” he smiled kissing your head. “Thank you again.”

“You’re welcome,” you smiled. “There is one last thing though.”

“Oh god, what else?” He laughed.

“Your present,” you smiled.

“Honey, you didn’t have to get me anything, this trip... everything tonight is enough... more than enough,” he said.

“I know, I know, it’s just a little something,” you said getting up and walking over to your bag.

You brought over the gift bag and handed it to him. He sat up pushing his hair out of his face before taking the tissue paper out. It was a large photo frame with his album cover in the middle, but that wasn’t all. It was statements/reviews written by fans with their thoughts on his album. The messages ranged from how much they loved the album to how much they loved him.

It took him a few minutes to read only half of them, when he looked up at you.

“H-how.. how did you do this?” He asked.

“Weellll, I might have had a little station set up at The Forum show. Fans were able to write you a message and I tried my best to get them all, but that would have literally needed an entire wall, so I took the best ones and put them on there,” you said.

“Wow, baby, this, I’m fucking speechless over here,” he laughed wiping at his eyes. “This means everything to me, thank you.”

“You’re welcome,” you smiled.

Harry put the picture down next to the bed before taking you into his arms, “I love you so much,” he whispered.

“I love you, too,” you smiled.

He smiled kissing you quickly before you laid your head back on his shoulder.

“Happy Birthday, baby,” you whispered.

He smiled kissing the top of your head before both of you fell asleep on what was the best birthday he had had in a very long time.

Hope you like it!

#One Direction Imagines #Harry Styles Imagines #Harry Styles One Shots

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softspiderling · 5 years

Text

honest feelings and bad timing - TEASER | t.h. / h.o.

Summary: It’s always been you, Tom and Harrison. A package deal. But sometimes things change.

Pairing: Tom Holland x Reader x Harrison Osterfield

Author’s Note: shoutout to @afangirlwashere for spinning this idea around and making me want to read it so bad, I had to write it. This is not going to be polyamorous, btw, I just didn’t want to give too much away.

Warnings: angst, underage drinking

Word Count: 1,5k

C O M I N G T H I S F A L L!

2 0 1 3

“What’d you tell your parents?”

Tom tugged the hood over his head before glancing at Harrison. It was nearing nine pm, they just had their last day at school, and even though it was already dark and the street lamps were slowly flickering on it was still considerably warm.

“I told them we were having a good bye party at Cassidy’s place and that their parents were home, you?”

Harrison stuffed his hands into his pockets. “Told them we were hanging out at Y/N’s place. Didn’t your brothers wanted to tag along when you mentioned a party?”

“Obviously,” Tom snorted. “But mum luckily didn’t let them, said ‘Tom deserves this, you two should stay at home’.”

Sometimes Harrison envied how open-minded Nikki was. Even though he didn’t like lying to his mum and step-father, he knew that they wouldn’t have let him leave the house if he had mentioned a party, let alone alcohol. He usually wasn’t one for breaking the rules, but Nikki was right. It was the end of the school year and all three of you had a busy year.

Tom had been filming his film with Saoirse Ronan, you were going to countless auditions and Harrison had just recently been signed by a model agency. On top of that, you had been juggling the school work which you sadly did not get a free pass on just because you were auditioning, because basically every student was doing the same.

“Lucky you,” Harrison muttered Tom grinned at him, fishing his phone out of pockets when they rounded into your street.

“You think she’s already ready?” he asked and Harrison shrugged, glancing at your house that was standing at the end of the street, windows illuminated by the lights from within.

“She said she was.”

THE BRITS

You: I’ll be done by nine, don’t be late!!11!!

Tommy: we’re standing outside ur house. Should we knock?

“Do you think she told her parents about the party?” Harrison wondered and Tom tapped his phone against his chin, thinking as he stared up the window from your bedroom.

“I’m not sure actually. She’s usually honest with her family, so maybe?” he said, glancing at his phone when it vibrated with a new message from you.

You: no, I’ll be right down.

The boys watched as the light from your bedroom turned off and a couple of minutes later, you exited the house.

“Yeah, I will! Love you!” you called before shutting the door behind you and traipsing over to where the boys where standing, a black oversize hoodie hanging over your bare legs.

“Aren’t you going to be cold?” Harrison asked with a creased forehead and you squinted your eyes at him.

“I just snuck out before my mum could see me and now you’re the one concerned with my choice of clothing?”

“Haz is just saying that we brought hoodies but inevitably one of us is going to have to lend them to you because you’re cold,” Tom piped up and you scoffed.

“I’ll be fine. We’ll be inside the whole time and as soon as I’ve downed some shots, I won’t be cold, I promise,” you told them and linked your arms with them. Harrison sighed but let himself be dragged from you.

“I take it you didn’t tell them about the party?”

You gave him a look. “Are you crazy? Of course I didn’t tell them, you know how weird they get when I even show one sign of growing up and drinking underage is definitely that.”

It was three hours later when Tom and Harrison realized you had planned on doing exactly that.

The boys had left you alone to play a few rounds of Mario kart in the basement of Cassidy’s parents’ house while you had stayed upstairs at the main party. As the music upstairs was turned up so high, even drowning out the music from the basement, the boys found their way back upstairs, only to be greeted by a bunch of people dancing drunkenly and you in the middle of it on top of the dining table., crooning to whatever Rita Ora song was playing

Tom was gaping at you while Harrison sighed, rubbing his hand over his face.

“For god’s sake.”

“R.I.P. to the girl you used to see. Her days are over, baby she's ooooooveeeeer!” you yelled, your voice cracking. You lifted the WKD Blue bottle that served as your microphone and when you caught sight of your two best friends standing in the doorway, you beamed at them, waving them over.

“Haz! Tommy, come on and sing with me!”

You took a few steps forward and the table tipped over, sending you flying. Lucky for you, Tom dove forward to catch you in his arms while Harrison nearly got a heart attack.

“Whoopsie,” you giggled and looked up at Tom with glassy eyes. “Thanks Tommy,” you said and pressed a kiss on his cheek, your lip gloss smearing on his cheek.

“Alright, it’s time for us to leave,” Harrison announced and grabbed your hoodie that you had taken off during the night.

You pouted while Tom gently put you back on your feet. “You okay to stand, love?” he asked, his eyes full of worry.

“I’m fine,” you insisted, fixing the straps of your dress. “I don’t want to go home.”

“Well, life’s hard darling,” Harrison pointed out as he and Tom pulled the hoodie over your head. You planted your heels in the ground as they dragged you out of the crowded house.

“Bye guys!” you shouted, waving with your hands excessively.

“Bye Y/N!” Cassidy called back, her hands around her mouth. “Text me tomorrow!”

As you stepped out of the house, the cold air did a pretty good job of sobering you up a bit and you leaned quite heavily on Tom, as your surroundings started spinning.

You groaned into Tom’s shoulder. “Can we sit down for a bit?” you asked and he sighed before stopping, letting you fall on your butt. You leaned your forehead on your arms and closed your eyes, while two pairs of hands were rubbing your back comfortingly.

“You wanna tell us what this is about love?” Harrison asked, his annoyed tone from earlier having dissipated at seeing the state you currently were in.

“What do you mean?” you mumbled, voice muffled. “I just had too much WKD. Doesn’t mean there’s a deep meaning behind every stupid thing I do.”

The boys shared a look over your head because it usually meant exactly that. Out of three people in this friendship it was usually you who took care of the boys and scolded them for being stupid and not thinking things through. Even though it was refreshing to not being taken care off once in a while, Tom and Harrison were still concerned for your well-being.

You sighed and looked back up, a frown on your face. “James broke up with me,” you mumbled out, plucking some grass from the dirt before throwing it at your feet.

Harrison pulled a face while Tom furrowed his brows. You had met James at an audition for a film and immediately clicked with him, which neither of the boys understood because they both couldn’t stand the guy. He was way too polished and the way he looked down on BRIT school just because he went to some fancy actors’ school in New York was maddening.

“I know you guys didn’t like him, but I really did,” you said and Tom leaned his head on your shoulder.

“What happened?” he asked and Harrison mirrored his actions.

“Do we need to kick his ass?” the blonde asked and you laughed, causing the boys’ heads on your shoulder to shake with the vibration of your body.

“No, you don’t have to. I’m fine,” you said and they gave you a look. “Okay, I’m fine now. I just wanted to forget for a few hours. Being dumped fucking sucks.”

You then grew quiet and the only thing that could be heard was the music playing at Cassidy’s house. Trickling your fingers down Tom’s arm he was leaning on your knee, you laced your fingers with his before doing the same with Harrison’s. You still felt a little empty inside, but sharing the news with your best friends seemed to have dulled the pain a bit.

“I’m really glad to have you guys, you know,” you said quietly. “Thanks for joining me at my table in the cafeteria two years ago, I never had friends like you two.”

“Of course love,” Harrison hummed, squeezing your hand. “Who else would keep us out of trouble?” Tom joked and nudged your arm with his nose.

“You were the ones keeping me out of trouble tonight,” you threw in and closed your eyes for a bit. The way home was long and it was late, the alcohol still coursing through your veins. You weren’t sure how to get home without your parents hearing you and finding out about your drunken state, but you knew that everything was going to be fine as long as the boys next to had your back.

A/N: I’m sooooo excited for this to come out!! Please let me know what you think of this and share your excitement with me!!!

Bolded means I couldn’t tag you for some reason. If that is the case with your user, please shoot me a message so we can figure out the problem! Message me if you want to be on the taglist!

Taglist: @sunflowercth // @thatphandomchick // @psychicforest // @llamasaurousmaddie // @fandomdarlings // @unfortunateshelby // @skyfall8600 // @yeahimcrying // @spideys-gurl // @one-big-fangirl // @imagine-lovebug // @professionalphangirluniverse // @zabdisamor // @palindrome-teddy // @axa-vega // @btsgot7crackheads // @angelicshinigami // @mrsfortune1306 // @spicy-mango626 // @thorsvotary // @boughs-of-hollie // @magicalturmoil // @overdramaticdepressedteen // @tomhollandismyspiderman // @tomshufflepuff // @trustfundparker // @evelyn120700 // @sincerelygmg // @the-surviving-revolutionist // @darktwistydiamond // @tomspidertingle // @jackiehollanderr // @jsusofsburbia // @nerdyandproudofitsstuff // @marvelislove10 // @chaoticc-loki // @pluckypete // @starlightfound // @lost-in-translating // @chaoticharmonyqueen // @beautifullydisconnected // @parkeret // @strang-ersclub // @afangirlwashere @xidaughterofthemoonix // @screamholland // @laureharrier //

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mvnvgedmischief · 4 years

Text

two cups into my coffee break: part 2 of the coffeeshop au i started for @ireadthehpbooks

sirius black is an idiot. he’s convinced of it. because he’s already messed things up by being late to a date he planned, and this is only their third date. will he muck it up further, or will the cute barista be willing to give him a second chance at love over a latte?

2.1k words read part one here

fuck, fuck, FUCK. sirius is running towards the shoreditch grind, and it’s already 6:40. he’s pissed because he can’t believe that the mother little brat he was trying to teach to play a basic chord on the guitar for the third week in a row had the nerve to tell him it was his fault that her son wasn’t a guitar prodigy right now. she threatened to withhold payment for fuck’s sake. it couldn’t possibly be the fact that he hadn’t practiced once outside of his lessons, or that the kid so clearly wanted to play drums. but now he was fucking late and he hadn’t had the opportunity to let remus know until just a few seconds before he ran out the door. by the time he arrives at the coffee shop and book store, his hair is windblown and his face is red, and he’s done the twenty-five minute walk in ten minutes with a guitar strapped to his back. because he knows he probably looks idiotic and way too eager, he tries to take a moment to sort out his hair before walking in. when he does, he’s met with a sight he didn’t really want to see, but he knew he hadn’t done enough to avoid. there’s remus– the hottest fucking barista he’s probably ever seen – looking crestfallen while sweeping around some tables.

“i hope you don’t look that disappointed on my account.” he’s plastered a smile on his face, despite how absolutely stressed out he feels. he wants to come off as cool, casual, and unbothered, but the way his cheeks are flushed from running betrays him and he knows it.

“you came!” remus definitely didn’t mean to say that out loud, and he’s blushing all the way down his collar. sirius would definitely like to know how far that blush goes, but that’s definitely not something he wants to admit out loud. “sorry– i just thought you were looking for a way to get out of doing this.”

“and miss an opportunity to see you? do you think i have enough restraint to not see the cutest barista i’ve ever met?” “flattery will get you everywhere, sirius. but i doubt you needed me to tell you that, givne thee circumstances.” remus smiles, and sirius’s heart skips a beat. “you ready to go?”

“yeah, let me just put back this broom and grab my book.” remus disappears into the breakroom, where the shop owner, marlene, is waiting to take over. his heart is racing, and he feels like he might be flushed to the ears right now. his hands are shaking as he pulls off his apron, hanging it on a hook, and he can hear her making fun of him for the way he’s blushing.

“aw, moony! he’s cute then, yeah?” “so fucking cute, you have no idea.” the tiny blonde pokes her head out from the back room, giving sirius a once over and grinning. when she returns, remus is staring in the mirror, adjusting his tawny curls and the way his hat sits upon them. “moony, you didn’t tell me he looked like a model! now stop preening and get out there! i want details when you get home mister.” “fine mum.” he grumbles, but the grin on his face tells a different story. he walks out from behind the counter, and sirius immediately slots their fingers together.

god could he be any cuter with his stupid hat and his stupid baggy jeans, his beat up converse and his retro jumper? sirius thinks that boys like remus, hell remus himself will be the death of him, and they haven’t even left yet.

“so i’m kind of really bad at this whole thing–” “oh i couldn’t tell, sirius. the first two dates and the being an hour late thing didn’t tip me off.” “oi were you a prefect in secondary school or something?” “yes actually.” remus blushes again, and fuck he hates his pale skin in that moment. “anyways, as i was saying i don’t really know the best place to take someone on a date. i was hoping you might have some recommendations. or, if you’re like– my brand of idiot– we could get a takeaway and have an impromptu picnic. ‘s kinda nice out.” “there’s a cute place in covent garden that i like, if you’re up for the hike ??” “ oh really?? i live on the picadilly, so that’s actually really convenient for me.” “sounds like a plan then.” remus is grinning as they walk towards the tube station, and his grin only gets wider as sirius snakes an arm around the other man’s waist. he knows that he’s kind of touchy for a first date, but he feels like he needs it. like some kind of touch starved animal. maybe it was because he hadn’t been close to someone since before reg’s funeral. he hasn’t done anything really since before. which kind of frustrates him now, because fuck he feel like he’s lost his mojo. he feels like a bumbling, blushing idiot. the two of them make their way down to the tube station and step on to train. sirius stands, leaning against the side of the carriage smiling and joking with remus. he notices that the other man seems to sway on his feet, and his brows furrow with concern. he doesns’t feel like he should ask– like it was some kind of more personal question- so instead after the next stop, he gestures to two open seats to sit.

remus hates this. he hates that sometimes his heart just doesn’t function well enough for him to stand. he hates it even more when this man– this sweet, impossibly attractive man– notices that something is wrong. he can practically read it on sirius’s face, and remus just wishes hiss body would get it’s shit together for once, so he could have one normal night. that doesn’t stop him from being thankful when the two of them sit, fingers slotting together once more. it makes his heart ache in his chest, in the best way possible, and the two of them continue talking and laughing until they come to their stop.

remus guides sirius out of the tube station and to the tiny french cafe that he and lily usually frequent on payday. it’s small and adorable, in remus’s opinion, all warm-toned lights marble tables, and dark wood. the two get a table outside, and remus knows what he wants before he’s even really browsed the menu. his eyes are lit up as he talks to sirius about anything and everything, from what they did for a-levels to what they’re up to now, and he’s kind of enjoying hearing about the bratty child and his mother that had made sirius late in the first place.

“so you like kids?” “yeah! the little fuckers are adorable– an’ i remember learning to play guitar. i think i would have loved to have a fun teacher that i got along with... i think when i work with teens that’s the best because they uh– they have a lot of emotion tied up in music an’ i remember being like that.” “yeah i guess. i dunno, like, i didn’t like being a teenager.” “oh yeah, me either. uh– shit was dark. but i feel like it would have been nice to have someone in my life that i could talk to. not that i have this weird father figure relationship with the kids or anything life that or anything. just like an older brother figure? do what i–” he cuts himself off, trying to figure out a way to stop himself from talking in that moment. he doesn’t want to talk about it. not really. but at the same time, he’s definitely a let me warn you about all this shit beforehand so you don’t get involved in my mess type of guy. “ you okay?” “yeah, i’m okay, sorry.” “don’t worry about it, love. thoughts on champagne? to celebrate you coming out with me, despite how ridiculously late i was.” theen it’s remus’s turn to feel uncomfortable because he’s not getting paid until the end of the week and he doesn’t really have the disposable income to waste on a bottle of bubbly. “i just– not to sound like a poor coffee shop worker– but i work in a coffee shop and i’m kind of broke.” “don’t worry, love. i’ve got it. you can get our next date.” “oh, so there’s a next date?” “sure hope so. i hope i didn’t screw it up too much.” “i’d like that.” sirius orders their drinks, as well as food, and they continue to talk and laugh. this feels easy in a way being around his friends hasn’t been in months. maybe it’s because his friends new reg, and they knew that sirius had left him behind. maybe the guilt was still eating him alive, regardless, he’s thankful for this. when they finally finish their meal, sirius notices remus’s cheeks are tinted just a bit pink. when they leave, sirius can’t help his giggles, and he’s feeling fucking bold because he invites remuss to come back with him. they spend their night together, and sirius couldn’t be more excited. especially not when he wakes up the next morning to remus in his arms, and hickies across his collarbones. remus is still asleep, so sirius takes a moment to admire the sharp lines and soft curves of the other man’s body, the pads of his calloused fingers tracing down the scars on his lover’s back. remus slowly stirs at that, and sirius wonders if the look that crosses remus’s face is panic or fear, because the other man does not look thrilled.

“do you want to know where they came from or something?”

“if you want to tell me then yeah. if you don’t, that’s fine too.”

“‘s not a big deal. some guy broke into my parents’ house when i was a kid. fucked me up royally but i don’t remember it or anything.”

“i’m sorry love.” sirius whispers into the other man’s hair. “my baby brother died six months ago. that’s why i kind of clammed up last night.”

“you didn’t have to tell me— if you weren’t ready.”

“yeah, i did. mutually assured destruction. we’re big on that, in this flat.”

“huh, my flatmate lily has been saying that a lot recently. usually when we get stoned but she still has work to do.”

“yeah, ‘s a policy, my flatmate, James lives by.” as sirius is saying it, he hears the front door open. “speak of the devil, i swear.” he grins, and their ears are met with the call of james from the entryway. “sirius ! i brought my girlfriend and breakfast!” “are we at the meet the best mate point in the relationship, or should i get rid of them?” “oh there’s a relationship?” “kinda hoping so. otherwise it’d suck that i just told you i have a dead brother.” “then i guess we’re at the meet the best mate point in the relationship.” remus grins, pressing a light kiss to sirius’s cheek. fuck does it give him butterflies. and then they’re rolling out of bed, remus pulling on a jumper from the end of sirius’s bed, and his jeans. sirius also pulls on a jumper and some sweats. the two of them exit the room, and their met with the shocked expression of both lily and james. “remus when did you start sleeping with my best mate?” james asks, and sirius feels like he might be blushing all the way down to his collar. “james’s best mate is your cute coffee shop regular! you know we could have set this up for you guys so much sooner if you had told us.” “i’m sorry– you two know each other?” sirius feels very out of the loop in this moment. “remus is my best mate.” lily supplies, and honestly sirius is glad to be clued in. “guess i don’t have to bring breakfast home for you then.” “not really” remus beams “unless you want me to go, sirius.” but as soon as the words have been spoken, sirius is enthusiastically disagreeing. the four of them sit and talk over breakfast, remus’s fingers interlocked with sirius’s as they catch up with james and lily. it’s nice, having something like this again. and sirius wouldn’t trade it for the world. he likes the idea of a budding romance between himself and remus, and he thinks remus likes it as well. that’s why, when he walks remus out the door, and they share a sweet kiss, he doesn’t fear that it’s the last time he’ll watch remus walk out the door. instead, he already starts planning the next time remus walks in.

#wolfstar #sirius black #remus lupin #sirius x remus #modern au #harry potter #marauders drabble #sirius and remus #moony and padfoot

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tendernessfic · 5 years

Text

555326 [Romanogers]

DISCLAIMER: Please be aware that although this version references existing universes/dimensions, I have written this in accordance with the timeline of events in the MCU.

Vormir, 2014.

The cold breeze swept through him. It was not a good chill and he knew it. He could sense the grief that the place bred, the devastation it caused. Doubts on whether or not his plan would work clouded his thoughts. He had no way to test it out, he had to simply do it and see.

The stone burned brightly behind in his left hand, while the other tightened its grip on Mjolnir.

This is gonna work, Steve.

I know it is, ‘cause I don’t know what I’m going to do if it doesn’t.

“Rogers, Steven. Son of Joseph.”

From afar, he could see the black cloak Cloat Clint had described, slowly making its way into his full vision. Then, he appeared.

He stepped forward, “I thought the dead were meant to stay dead.”

“But death did not take me, young boy,” he replied while walking in the direction of the abyss, “you thought you won, but you are wrong once again, as you were back then.”

Steve studied him carefully, he did not seem surprised at the reunion, nor was he afraid of his presence.

“Tell me, what is it that you seek?”

“I think you know that my purpose is not to seek, yet to return something that was taken.”

His eyes shot up as he stood, clearly alarmed that his assumption was true, “My boy, that is not a mission you shall complete.”

With a slight head tilt, he smiled, “And I think you should know by now that I complete my missions, whatever it takes.”

He held the hammer towards the sky and clouds gathered, followed by the sound of deafening thunder and a bolt of lightning striking his right arm. He could only imagine the look on Thor’s face if he had seen what just happened. Oh, how he missed his dear friend.

It was no surprise that fear overtook the face of his enemy for two seconds, before he started bolting towards Steve. Steve calmly walked forward while swinging the hammer, then hurled it towards the skull, immediately knocking him over.

He then rushed to where his body laid, and placed his foot on the skull’s chest to prevent him from getting up, “You were never meant to receive freedom,” he spat, “not after all that you’ve taken from us.”

“I have paid the price for my freedom, and I’ll be damned if someone takes it for me.”

“Well,” Steve shrugged, “then you should’ve given up when you met me.”

With that, he tossed the stone over the abyss as the skull cried out in desperation. A bright light overtook him and before he knew it, all he saw was black.

…

“Steve,”

He felt someone nudge his side. At first, it was a soft nudge, then it increasingly got harder.

“Wake up already, you can’t expect me to believe that killed you?”

His eyes fluttered open. Amidst the blur, he saw a tinge of red and smelt a familiar scent. He couldn’t quite pinpoint what it is but it made his heart race. And as his vision came to, he could not believe what or rather who was crouching down in front of him.

“Nat?”

She grinned, “Nice to see you too, soldier.”

Placing her hand behind his back, she helped him sit up and dusted some dirt off his shoulders. Still in complete shock, Steve simply stared at her with his mouth wide open. Nat laughed and nudged him, “Bet Thor took that really hard, huh?”

“What?”

She pointed at Mjolnir, “You and his baby.”

Steve chuckled, “Actually, he knew all along I was worthy.”

“Okay big guy,” she raised her palms in the air as if surrendering before standing up, “clearly the hammer might’ve malfunctioned or something but whatever makes you happy.”

As he stood, he took a good look at her. She looked incredible and exactly as she did before he lost her. And so he took her into his arms and held her tight, “This can’t be real.”

He could feel her smile against him, “I missed you too.”

Steve took a good look of his surroundings, it didn’t seem like they were in Vormir. There was a light shade of yellow all around them, and nothing else but shallow water under their feet.

“Where are we?” he asked.

She let go of Steve and smiled, “Take a walk with me?”

“It would be an honour, ma’am.” He said as he bent down to pick up the hammer.

She scoffed, “Do me a favour and leave that, you won’t need it here. Trust me.”

So he did. The two of them walked towards nowhere in silence for a while, before he spoke up, “Everyone is going to be so happy that you’re back.”

She let out a sad laugh, “You asked where we were. We’re not on Vormir anymore.”

“Then this must be some sort of alternate dimension, right? You’ve been trapped here all along?”

She halted her steps. Steve noticed her shoulders stiffened as she brought her arms around her.

“Steve, I’m not going back.”

He walked around her so that he could see her face. She had a look of content.

“What do you mean?”

She looked up at him, “When I did it, when I jumped, my soul was released from my physical being and I was brought here, into this world. Now that the stone has been returned, I can be released.”

He frowned, “Which means you can go back, right?”

“It’s simple really,” she took a step forward, “think of spilt milk. Once it’s out of the carton, you can’t get it back in.”

Steve felt his heart shatter, “B-but Nat, I returned the stone, I-I fixed the timeline everything's meant to go back to how it was-”

“But how that is how it is, was and ever will be, Steve. I jumped. I made that choice. You brought the timeline back together but it was always my destiny in this universe to jump. I’m not meant to go back Steve.”

He placed his hands on her shoulders, “But where will you go?”

She shrugged, “Don’t know. You always said that there is only one God, even after meeting Thor. So I guess I’ll find out, won’t I? Man, it’ll suck if I find out Thor’s the one judging me.”

“Nat that’s not funny.”

“I’m serious,” she laughed, “I don’t know where I’m going after this, but I’m thankful it’s you I get to spend my last moments with.”

He sighed, “But what about Bruce?”

She smiled softly, “You and I both know that there’s a reason why you’re here right now, and not him.” Steve looked away shyly, but she placed her palm on her cheek so she could look at him, “Bruce will be fine. And so will you.”

He placed his palm on top of hers, “This isn’t fair.”

“Well, that’s our reality. Maybe in another life.” She tiptoed and placed a soft kiss on his cheek,

“Go find her, Steve. Live a happy life for both of us.”

He felt a tear escape his eye, “But what about you?”

“You’ll see me again,” she winked at him, “trust me.”

With that, Nat let go, took one last good look at him and started walking away. Steve sensed a feeling of peace from her, she was truly ready to let go. Then something hit him.

“Nat?”

She turned around, “Steve?”

“You said our reality. What does that mean?”

Loud and clear, she replied, “Brooklyn, Earth-555326.”

His brows furrowed, “What the hell does that mean?”

“Bruce will help you,” she turned away but turned back, “oh and Steve? Language.”

Before he could say another word, Nat walked away and everything else faded to white.

…

Earth, five months after the discovery of the multiverse.

“Did she say anything else, cap? Did she give you specific instructions or coordinates?”

Steve groaned, “I’ve told you, all she said was Earth-”

“I know, I know, Earth-555326. But even if I get you there, there’s no guarantee you’ll be able to find whatever she wants you to find. Hell, we don’t even know what year we need to send you to, we’re just going off probability.”

“Nat’s not the best at giving instructions...or at following orders.” he shrugged.

Bruce let out a scoff of agreement and inputted the numbers into the machine, “Cap, we don’t know what this will do to you. I mean, you’re already…”

“You can say it,” he said as he stood, “I’m old.”

“Yeah well you were always old but now you’re old, old.”

Steve pointed a finger at Bruce, “Don’t insult me, young man.”

With a loud whirl, the machine lit up, ready to transport Steve to this version of earth Nat so dearly wanted him to see. Steve made his way onto the platform and clutched the bouquet of flowers tightly. He had no idea if the flowers would survive the trip or if he would see her again, but he was hopeful.

“Hey cap? If she’s there, tell her I said hi.”

“Will do.” Steve said as the portal engulfed him.

…

Brooklyn, Earth-555326, year 2030

He recognised this place. He was nearly beat to dust here years ago, and Bucky saved him. He was only a few blocks away from home and he could practically smell the bakery he had been meaning to visit. Step by step, he took into account the slight differences this version of Brooklyn had. It was creepily similar, yet the man who (still) sold newspapers after ten years was now a woman. Instead of the regular public school he passed by every morning, there was a hospital, presumably owned by Tony Stark (definitely owned by Tony as it clearly said ‘Stark’).

“Catch me if you can, Nathaniel!”

“James, you get back here right now!”

Steve turned around to see a brown-haired boy, chasing after a red-haired younger boy who seemed to be carrying a bow and arrow.

“James! My dad’s gonna kill me if you break that, hand it back right now!”

The boy simply sprinted faster. Something compelled Steve to follow him. The older boy seemed familiar… wait. He was sure Nathaniel was the name of Clint’s son. But James? Who was this James? Did Clint marry someone else in this other life? Perhaps Nat stayed with Clint?

He was getting closer and closer to home now. He stopped in his tracks to see if the children would, as he expected, turn right. They did.

The two were running to his place.

He attempted to walk as fast as he could but stopped in his tracks the moment he heard a familiar voice.

“James Rogers, would you please hand those back to Nathaniel?”

It’s Nat. It’s her voice. Did she just say James Rogers?

“I’m just messing with him, mum,” the boy sneakily replied, “but one day I’ll beat his archery skills you’ll see.”

“Ha! As if.” Nathaniel echoed.

Steve stiffened. He took a step forward so that he could fully see the sight in front of him. A gasp escaped his lips. Natasha was standing right there, just approximately 32 feet away from him. The same Natasha who he had bid farewell in another dimension on Vormir. Her red hair in a bun up high, still dressed in all-black, but dressed comfortably. Did the boy call her-

“Tell him, mum!”

Nat rolled her eyes, “Inside right now, the both of you. Nate, have some lunch before your dad picks you up.”

“Yes, auntie Nat!”

The two children shuffled up the stairs and into his flat, while Natasha stood there for a few seconds before turning and looking straight at him, “I’m sorry sir, my son can be a bit loud sometimes.”

Her son.

Her son’s name is James Rogers.

Steve boldly stepped forward, “You’re...Natasha Romanoff, right?”

“My husband insists I tell people that my last name is now hyphenated with his,” she laughs, “but you have the right woman. Is there anything I can help you with?”

Without much thought, he approached her and handed over the bouquet, “Nothing...I just wanted to give you these.”

She had a puzzled expression on her face, “Why thank you, how awfully chivalrous for a stranger to-” and she stopped as she looked at his face.

His blue eyes. She would recognise them even amidst a massive crowd. It was clear by the wrinkles on his face that he wasn’t her Steve. But he was Steve nevertheless, just from somewhere far, far, away.

“You don’t look a day over seventy.” Nat smiled.

With a sigh of relief, he smiled back and asked, “How old is he?”

“Seven this year.” she laughed as Steve’s eyes widened, clearly realising what year she meant, “He...was a surprise that came to us about a few months after, you know.”

“But...that means you came back.”

A look of sadness washed over her eyes, “I’m guessing I didn’t return, in your version of reality?”

Steve shook his head, “But it was you who ultimately helped us defeat him. You gave us the ultimate sacrifice.”

“I guess the universe or all universes are fair,” she sighed, “you lost me. We lost Rhodey… and a couple more others.”

“Tony?”

“No, but we lost Pepper.” She picked a petal off the bouquet she was holding and twisted it around her fingers, “I kinda wished they had both survived you know, where you come from.”

He nodded, “I do too.” Steve noticed the ring on her finger and pointed at it, “when did that happen?”

“Three months ago, actually.” She said very matter-of-factly, “You finally convinced me, after all those years.”

“That long?” he nearly yelled.

Nat grinned cheekily, “It wasn’t as if we weren’t together, I mean, this thing here,” she showed off her ring, “simply means I have to take your name now.”

He scoffed, “You make it sound like a job.”

“Well, with that boy right there sometimes it’s tougher than our actual job.”

Steve chuckled and closed his eyes for a while, listening to the voice of his son from inside his house, “Tell me something, here, did you and-”

“Steve?” The feel of her hand on his cheek opened his eyes, “I would have chosen you, in any reality, dimension and universe.”

With that, his heart swelled, “Still, I promised Bruce to tell you he said hi.”

“Well, tell him that here, he’s currently with you. Actually, both of you are currently on your way back from some place in the nine realms. Thor needed help with something.”

“Huh,” he nodded impressively, “glad to see my worthiness being used to its full capacity.”

“My, my, cap. What has old age done to your confidence.” Nat teased. They both stood there, laughing for a while before Nat gestured upstairs, “I should really get going. Gotta prepare for your arrival.”

Steve looked down at his watch, “And I have to head back.”

As she did on Vormir, she tiptoed and placed a soft kiss on his cheek. Only this time, the farewell filled Steve with a sense of fulfilment and happiness.

“Take care of yourself, old guy.”

“You too, Nat.”

She started walking up the stairs but turned around to get one last look at him, “You still look mighty fine, by the way.”

“You don’t look so bad yourself, Romanoff.”

“Rogers,” she winked at him, “it’s Romanoff-Rogers now.”

The familiar beeps alerted him that his time was up. And so he waved at her, “Tell both of them I said hi.”

“Will do.”

…

“Whoa, cap, you okay there?”

Bruce and Sam were standing above him. They helped him stand up and observed him to see if he had lost any limbs or if he had gotten younger.

“Glad to see you’re back in one piece, sorry to see you still old.” Sam nudged him.

He shrugged, “I think I’m quite happy with where I am now.”

Bruce noticed something, “I see the flowers are gone.”

Steve smiled and sighed, “Yeah.”

“Do you...want to talk about her now?”

“Yeah. I think I do.”

SECOND DISCLAIMER

I am very well aware that in the original version of Earth-555326 the Avengers died under the hands of ultron. I am also very well aware that there might be distortions and things that don’t match with the original comics but I wrote this to provide closure for me and for other Romanogers shippers who deserve the closure we never got. I believe that with the existence of a multiverse anything is possible and that outcomes will differ across dimensions. This is just my take on what I would like Steve and Nat to have in another life, and I hope this little piece of mine brings you joy, or at least helps mend those scars still fresh even weeks after Endgame.

#Avengers #Romanogers #Steve rogers #natasha romanoff #capwidow #captain america #black widow #stevenat #marvel cinematic universe #endgame #the avengers

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nonasuch · 6 years

Text

continued from here, some more of this rambly and, now, less-abbreviated AU:

for obvious reasons, Harry does not get a lot of sleep that night.

he wants the whole story, and Sirius-- without quite meaning to-- tells it to him.

in another life, he might not have done so. in another life, there might have been things he’d been told Harry shouldn't know, and things that he’d simply forgotten over the years, and things that still hurt too much to talk about.

but in this place, and at this time, none of those things are true. Sirius spent two awful years in Azkaban, and five years free.

since the day he found Harry, he has been saving up all the things he wants to tell his godson.

so he starts at the beginning:

“I met James and Lily on the train to Hogwarts, when we were eleven. that's the school for witches and wizards; you'll go there too, when you're older.”

for the rest of his life, Harry will remember how his first impression of the wizarding world was formed: his godfather’s hoarse voice, full of affection for the dead, the only sound in the silent house. the darkened kitchen, the wandlight Padfoot casts throwing his too-thin face into sharp relief.

that light and that warmth, keeping the dark at bay.

when he gets to the part about Harry’s aunt and uncle, he hesitates. he’s plowed through the telling of the awful night that James and Lily died, Wormtail’s betrayal, his own mad grief, and it’s only now occurring to him that much of it was not a story an eight-year-old boy ought to hear. no matter how much of a right he has to hear it.

so he says: “you were supposed to go to live with your mother’s sister. I don’t know why, exactly, but you ended up here instead. no one in the wizarding world knew how to find you.”

(this is only very slightly a lie: four years ago, he and Remus tracked down the police report filed by the officers who took Harry away from the Dursleys. then they destroyed it, so that no one else could follow the same trail to Harry.)

he tells Harry, “in Azkaban, five years ago, a visitor let me have a newspaper. I saw that your aunt and uncle had died, but you were missing. so I escaped, and I found you.”

Harry asks, “but what happened to them?”

Sirius says “I don’t know. not for certain.”

(this is rather more of a lie. he has some very good guesses.)

this is clearly not enough of an answer for Harry, but he is eight years old and it has been a very eventful night. he’s yawning, his eyes drooping shut.

“I’ll tell you the rest, but not tonight,” Sirius says. “can you sleep on the sofa?”

Harry makes a face. “it’s too squashy,” he says.

so his godfather transfigures the sofa into a decent approximation of Harry’s bed upstairs, and tucks Harry in. he turns back into Padfoot and flops down across Harry’s feet.

just before he falls asleep, harry murmurs “you’re my godfather. and you’re a dog. you’re my dogfather.”

this is the funniest joke in the history of eight-year-olds, and Harry falls asleep mid-giggle.

in the morning, Harry wakes up to find the sofa has gone back to being a sofa and his dog has gone back to being a dog.

his mum is putting on her earrings in the hall mirror, and whistling to herself. his dad is making breakfast noises in the kitchen.

but: there is a large tawny feather on the end table. Harry recalls, vividly, watching the owl preen itself while Padfoot read his letter at the kitchen table.

he looks at Padfoot. Padfoot holds his gaze for a long, deliberate moment, and then he winks.

that whole day, Harry is full of restless energy. he and his dad finish painting the spots they missed the day before, and put his furniture back where it belongs. but his heart’s not in it.

all day he is wondering: am I really magic? what does that mean? what kind of magic can I do? do I need to have a magic wand? how do i get a magic wand? will Padfoot let me borrow his? can I do magic without it?

his parents notice his distraction, of course, but they let it pass. Harry will tell him what's wrong when he’s ready to. he always has before.

by bedtime, Harry is practically vibrating. Padfoot flops down across the end of the bed with a little more force than usual, and fixes Harry with a doggy glare until Harry settles.

his mum reads him a chapter of The Sword in the Stone, and Harry lets her sing him a lullabye even though he’s started saying, lately, that he’s too old for lullabies.

she sings, to the tune she made up when Harry was a baby, come away, o human child, to the waters and the wild, and Harry does his best to act sleepy as she goes through the verses.

when the house is finally silent, Harry sits up in bed.

“now?” he asks. Padfoot sighs and grumbles and jumps down from the bed and turns into a human being again.

“try not to explode,” says Sirius, and Harry’s eyes get very big.

“can that happen? to wizards?” he asks, and Sirius has his first really good belly laugh in about seven and a half years.

once they have both calmed down a little, Sirius answers as many of Harry’s questions as he can.

he tells Harry that, yes, most wizards need a wand to do most magic, but that children sometime will do wandless magic by accident. that there are wizarding banks and shops and bureacrats. that there is owl post and order-by-floo. that there are wizarding towns and magical neighborhoods hidden all over the world.

that while werewolves are real, reverse werewolves are not.

harry remembers to ask, then: “who sent you the owl last night?”

so sirius explains that there is one other wizard in the world who knows where Harry is, and who knows that Sirius was wrongfully convicted, and that he is using the Fidelius charm to protect them.

Sirius has not seen Moony in person for more than a year, and misses him like hell. the last time had been when Harry and his parents had gone to visit a family friend with very bad allergies, and been out of the house long enough that Sirius could Apparate away.

the flat where Moony was staying was shabby and awful, of course. even though, years ago, Sirius had given Moony the key to his bank vault and all but ordered him to use it.

the shabby, awful flat had not actually mattered very much to either of them. it had a table where they sat side-by-side for an hour or so, shoulders pressed together, and went over what Remus had found in the course of hunting for Wormtail.

it also contained a bed, where they spent the rest of the day.

and that was all, for year. writing letters helps, a little. a very little.

(none of the above is included in Padfoot’s explanation. that is most definitely a conversation for the future, when Harry has known his dog is a wizard for more than twenty-four hours, and Sirius had worked out what to say without using horrible euphemisms or embarrassing them both to death.)

once Harry has run out of questions, or at least paused to pick out the next set, Sirius says, “we should talk about your mum and dad. what are you going to tell them?”

(he’s read all the parenting books in the house. they mostly recommend that parents should do the exact opposite of whatever his own parents would have done, so he thinks the Muggles might have the right idea on this particular front. and they’re all very big on honesty and communication.)

“well,” says Harry, and falls silent, thinking. “should I tell them I’m magic?”

“that’s up to you,” says Padfoot. “I think you’ll want to, sooner or later, and you’ll have to, before you go to Hogwarts.”

“wait,” says Harry, “if no wizards know where I am, how can I go--”

“don’t worry about it,” says Sirius. “Moony and I are working on that.”

(this is not a lie because they are, in fact, working on it. they just haven’t actually found a solution yet.)

“okay,” says Harry. “then I want to tell them soon. and they should meet you. but, um. you should get some not-magic clothes?”

“what’s wrong with my clothes?” asks sirius, who is fully aware that they are basically rags, but he spends ninety percent of his time as a dog, nine percent alone, and one percent with Moony. so he only really wears clothes at all for that nine percent.

(sometimes, as Padfoot, he condescends to wear a red bandanna.)

“they’re a bit, um.” says harry. his trying-not-to-disapprove-and-failing look is so perfectly Lily’s that Sirius cannot bring himself to disagree.

“all right, all right, I’ll smarten up a bit,” says Sirius. “think about how you want to break the news, eh?”

Harry agrees, and now the day’s nervous energy is entirely used up. he is asleep before Sirius has even changed back to Padfoot.

so Sirius nicks some of Harry’s dad’s clothes from the laundry and charms them to a) fit and b) not look obviously stolen.

also he cuts his hair. it makes his ears feel cold but he does look less like a crazed escaped wizard murderer, so ten points to Harry on that one.

the next night Harry says “oh that’s much better” in deeply relieved and deeply Evans-esque tones, the moment Padfoot turns into Sirius.

Sirius is too happy to be insulted, much.

#harry potter #harry potter au #sirius black #the dogfather #not-fic #hp au #yer a wizard harry #original #dogfather story post

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glitterrhowell · 5 years

Text

Chapter 34

title: Seized

Co-author: fadingcrystalvoid

Pairing: Daniel Howell & AmazingPhil (Phan

Word count: 1.3k

Warning/Genre: Rape/extreme violence/ depression/PTSD/Degradation/torture/ Non-consensual pretty much everything/Little!Dan/Daddy!Phil/Kidnapping

Summary: It started out as a fun day at the park but it ended in terror. Phil takes his little Dan to the park and while Phil is not looking, Dan suddenly gets kidnapped. What will happen to Dan? Will Phil ever see his boyfriend again? Did Phil have something to do with it? Heavy trigger warning

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“Are you comfortable?” Kathryn asked for the twenty-seventh time since the two had arrived home just over an hour ago. Dan, as happy as he was to be out of the hospital, didn’t quite know what do do with himself.

At the hospital, it had been a reasonably strict schedule, free time here, appointments there. Now all twenty-four hours of the day were free for him to do what he wished. And, well, he wasn’t sure what he wished.

“Why don’t you do some colouring?” Kathryn asked, still fussing over him. She hadn’t left his side since they got home, determined to have something for him to do before she went off to make dinner.

“Okay,” Dan agreed, laying his hand on top of the book pile and sliding one off. As any mother would for a young child, she had spoiled Dan. As soon as the papers were signed to say he’d stay with her after being discharged, she’d gone out to buy all the things Dan would need. Colouring books, crayons, texters, pencils. She’d bought new pacifiers, nappies, an Eeyore onesie, as well as socks, in case he got cold.

After she’d bought all this, and it was a week until Dan was being released, she’d went to visit Phil. After making sure her baby was okay despite being in hospital, she’d told him Dan was getting out in a week’s time and would be staying with her.

Phil had been super excited to hear the news and began listing things Dan would want to do and what he’d need. Kathryn, true to her mothering nature, hadn’t forgotten anything.

With Dan happily colouring in a Disney Princesses book, Kathryn made her way to the kitchen. She was exhausted. At fifty-seven years old, she shouldn’t be having to look after a toddler. She’d had her turn raising kids, two to be precise, and now she felt she was raising a third. She knew it was rude to complain; she’d agreed to have Dan stay with her and she loved him to pieces it was just, well, he was exhausting.

She flicked the tv on in the background, not really paying attention to or caring whatever it was they talked about. She focussed on preparing a lovely dinner for three. Which reminded her; William would be home soon.

“Kathy!” a small voice called and she abandoned the stove in favour of finding Dan.

“Yes, love?” she asked with a warm smile. She knelt down to Dan’s height.

“For you!” he declared, holding out a picture of what she assumed was supposed to be her family.

“That’s very nice, deary. I’ll put it on the fridge, okay?”

“T’ank you!”

She made her way back to the kitchen, putting it on the bench with a mental note to find a magnet later. The tv had now begun the six o’clock news and first up was Phil’s trial. It was pretty much on the news every night; updates and theories running rampant around the city. She quickly found the remote and clicked off the tv so Dan would remain unaware of the situation.

As she cooked, she remembered back during the first trial. How their fanbase had begun a fundraiser for a bail he never received. They’d raised over €2,000 in the first 48 hours but none of it had gone to his bail. Instead, the organisers sent it off to YoungMinds, figuring that’d still be helping someone.

“Kathy, I sleepy,” Dan yawned out, standing in the door to the kitchen.

She nodded. “Why don’t you go have a nap, love? Dinner is still forty minutes away.”

Dan rubbed his eyes before yawning again and stretching his arms out wide.

“Do you need any help?” she asked after he nodded in agreement.

“I can be big boy!” he declared before running off down the small hallway and up the steps.

She smiled. While it might be work, looking after a young kid again was enjoyable. There was none of that sass that came with the teenage years, just pure and innocent enjoyment.

~~~~~~~~

Phil dreamt of life before the trial. And before Dan was kidnapped. Before their once-peaceful life got flipped on its head. Before Dan needed bi-weekly therapy and Phil needed handcuffs to be taken anywhere. Back in the good old days. They felt like so long ago now.

After Luke had come by to inform him of the news, he’d found what little hope he had left locked away inside him and brought it out. He let himself think of a day where he could go to Tesco to get some cereal and return home to a grumpy Dan shouting at the tv screen as he played whatever video game he was obsessed with at the time. He let himself dream of a day where he’d be able to kiss Dan on the head without having to think anything of it.

But for now, they still remained fantasies. While the case was reopened, that didn’t mean Phil would be set free. He didn’t even care about being free anymore. Sure, he’d like to be able to live his life, but he’d happily go to prison if it meant he could just hold Dan in his arms once more. To know he was safe and loved and cared for. Of course, he trusted his mum. But Dan had gotten away under his watch and he knew the ins and outs of Dan. His mum didn’t.

He sighed, rolling on the stiff mattress and trying to get some shut-eye. After his hospital stay and a report from Doctor Mander, the prison warden had concaved and agreed to move Phil into another cell. Last he heard Kide had been put int even higher security and therefore had to move prisons. That didn’t mean Phil was safe though; his cronies were still there and somehow - even if Phil didn’t understand how - Kide would contact them.

For now, though, he could sleep easy, knowing he wasn’t at risk of being beaten or raped in the confines of his cell.

“Lester!” a sharp voice demanded. Phil abruptly sat up, sleep clouding his mind.

“Huh?”

“Trial day. Get changed,” the guard snapped.

Phil shook his head, clearing his mind. Trial day. Trial day. Oh my god, it was trial day! He leapt out of bed with energy he didn’t have three seconds prior and quickly went to the bathroom and changed uniform. He’d stopped caring about privacy a few weeks into his prison stay. There was no point; all it did was make him uncomfortable when he needed to shit but couldn’t. His shy bladder had gone away near instantaneously when it realised the options were peeing in front of people who didn’t care, or peeing himself in front of people who would, in that situation, definitely care, and not in a good way.

“Trial of Philip Michael Lester, accused of kidnapping, raping and torturing Daniel James Howell, with the help of Seth Conray and Roger Kide,” the judge announced to the packed hall. There were family and friends who had taken the front few rows. Behind them, were general public now invested since their own loved ones were involved, and a shit tonne of press. A good half of the people there held cameras, paper and pens, microphones or makeup brushes.

The judge summarised the last trial with the notes of the courtroom scribe. After that, the trial began.

#dan howell #daniel howell #danisnotonfire #dan howell fanfiction #daniel howell fanfiction #danisnotonfire fanfic #amazingphil #phil lester #seized

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littlerose13writes · 6 years

Text

Glitter and Snowmen by LittleRose13

Day 7, The 12 Days of Shipmas - Snowman☃️

In which some families are a little too competitive.

Words: 1,933 Pairings: Harry/Ginny

23rd December, 2015

“It snowed! Everyone wake up right now, it snowed last night and there’s snow everywhere!”

Lily Potter’s dulcet tones woke everyone in the house up within minutes through her sheer excitement. The seven-year-old swung open both her brothers’ doors and she ran into Albus’ room first, jumping on top of him where he lay under his duvet.

“Is it really snowing?” he said excitedly, pushing her off him and jumping out of bed. He ran to the window and pressed his hands and face against it. “We have to tell James, come on!”

Albus grabbed Lily’s hand and pulled her from the room. They hurtled into James’ room and Lily repeated her technique of jumping directly on top of her sleeping brother. James was less impressed than Albus had been.

“Geroff me Lily,” he complained, pushing his face deeper into his pillow.

“But James, you have to wake up! It’s snowed!”

“It’ll still have snowed in two hours, goodnight.” He sandwiched his head between two pillows and turned away from them. Lily shared a disappointed look with Albus.

“Fine, I’m gonna wake up Tebby!” She rushed from the room and directly into Harry, who was waiting on the landing.

“Don’t wake Teddy up, Lil,” he said kindly.

“Daddy! Did you know there’s snow?”

“I might have heard you mention it once, yes,” Harry replied, picking his daughter up.

“James won’t wake up and play with us,” she said glumly, resting her head on Harry’s shoulder. From the ground, Albus could see the sly grin she was showing over Harry’s shoulder and he rolled his eyes at his little sister.

“It is a bit early for your brothers.”

“Albus is awake,” Lily said confusedly. “He’s a brother.”

“Well, as we’re the only three up, we get to make the first footprints.”

“Yes!” Lily cried, heading straight for the stairs.

“Stop. Not in pyjamas, your mother will have my head.”

It didn’t take long for Lily, Albus and Harry to be bundled up in coats, boots, hats, scarves and gloves. Lily was wearing James’ Gryffindor hat, which was sure to cause problems when he woke up, but Harry decided to let it slide for now.

“You can go first, Lily. You’re the littlest.”

Her brother was trying to be kind, but Lily resented being referred to as little. Harry could clearly see the internal battle she was undergoing, torn between not wanting to admit she was the littlest but also wanting to be the first out in the snow.

“Same time!” she cried eventually, grabbing Albus’ hand and jumping from the doorstep into the blanket of snow covering the garden. Her blue wellies sank into the surface with a satisfying crunch right beside Albus’ orange pair. He grinned down at his sister and they both sprinted off as fast as they could in the thick snow.

By the time everyone else was up and dressed for the snow, Harry had cast several warming charms over his youngest two children, who refused to come inside and warm up properly. Harry didn’t blame them; this was the first time it had snowed properly where they lived since Lily was a baby.

Snow always reminded him of Hogwarts and fond memories of snowball fights with the Weasleys; building snowmen with only a little magic help; sending Trevor the toad skidding across the frozen lake surface. Now stood here watching his children experience the wonder snow provided was just as delightful.

Despite now being a first year at Hogwarts and often too grown up to play with his little brother and sister like he used to, James emerged with a pure and childlike joy on his face. He came running out into the garden, immediately gathering a handful of snow and firing it at Harry, who dutifully allowed it to hit him full in the face. James cheered and went to scoop up more.

Teddy was a seventh year and Ginny a fully grown adult and yet they too were laughing hysterically, snow flying everywhere. There was something about snow that turned anyone into a child again.

“I want to build a snowman!” Lily exclaimed after a while.

“Me too!” Albus agreed, immediately scrabbling at the ground to make a start.

“Everyone should build one! A best snowman competition!” Lily cried in excitement.

“Wait, that’s not fair because the grown-ups can use magic!” Albus protested.

Lily considered this for a second. “Okay, put your hand up if you can use magic.”

Harry, Ginny and Teddy exchanged amused looks and obediently put their hands up. James’ hand shot up too.

“Legally, James. You’re a first year.”

James scowled at Ginny’s comment.

“Mum, you can build a snowman with James, Al can build one with Daddy and I’m going to build one with Tebby,” Lily announced.

“Come on Lily-Lu, it’s on!” Teddy grabbed her hand and ran with her to the other side of the garden where an untouched pile of snow sat. “I have the best idea, listen to this.” He whispered into her ear and she looked gleeful.

“I want to go with Teddy,” Albus sulked and Harry folded his arms.

“You mean, you don’t want to hear about my competition-winning snowman design idea, Al?”

Albus brightened up and turned to his dad. “What design idea?”

Harry cast Ginny and James a furtive look. “I can’t tell you here, come and see.” He took Albus’ hand and lead him to the corner opposite Teddy and Lily, who made a big show of turning their backs secretly.

“We’re not letting anyone else win are we, Mum.” James stated defiantly.

“Not if I have anything to do with it.”

An hour later, three snowmen stood in the Potters’ garden and everybody was freezing, despite the warming charms Harry had cast on his children’s coats.

Teddy and Lily’s was the most decorated out of the three, wearing not only a conjured hat and scarf but also a waistcoat and bow tie, which Lily had decorated liberally with glitter Teddy summoned for her. Its smile was made out of frosty snail shells Lily had found under a watering can.

Ginny and James’ snowman was the biggest, and probably would have survived a snowstorm it was so sturdy. James had insisted on using his wand (to remind his siblings that he had a wand and they didn’t) as the nose and it stuck out comically, too long for the snowman’s face.

Harry and Al’s snowman was the tallest but it also looked in danger of falling over at any point, and was held up entirely by magic which Harry kept topping up worriedly. It was wearing a conjured top hat, had a traditional carrot nose and looked a bit like a muggle magician.

“How do we decide who won?” James asked, his teeth chattering.

“Let’s discuss that inside where it’s warm,” Ginny said with concern.

Once the children were all bundled up in front of the fire with hot chocolates, the question of picking the winning snowman came up again.

“I think me and Tebby should win ‘cause ours had the most glitter,” Lily explained very seriously.

James and Albus protested instantly.

“It’s not about who has the most glitter!”

“Glitter looks rubbish on a snowman!”

“Glitter does not look rubbish,” Teddy pretended to be cross with James for Lily’s benefit and she nodded fiercely beside him.

“Well me and Dad’s was the tallest, so we should win,” Albus replied, ignoring Teddy’s response about the glitter.

“No! Ours was nearly as tall anyway!” James complained.

Harry, Ginny and Teddy exchanged glances, all silently regretting turning this into a competition.

“Can’t we all be winners? I had so much fun, I feel like a winner,” Harry said in a jaunty tone.

All three of his children looked at him like he’d just announced he wanted to become a professional opera singer.

“Didn’t think that would work…” Harry tailed off.

“We need someone who didn’t take part to choose a winner,” Ginny said, causing Albus to look around the room as if there might be someone else there he hadn’t known about.

As he looked at the fireplace, the flames turned green and Ron’s head appeared in the flames.

“Uncle Ron!” Lily exclaimed.

“Oh, hello all of the Potters,” Ron was taken aback by the reception. “Harry, do you have a minute?”

“Absolutely, come through.”

As soon as Ron’s head disappeared again while he prepared to Floo in, Harry turned to his family. “We’ll ask Ron to pick a winner. Don’t worry Albus, he’ll definitely pick his best friend.”

Albus beamed at this news and James opened his mouth to protest again but she was drowned out by Lily, who scoffed loudly. “Please. Everyone knows I’m Uncle Ron’s favourite Potter! He’ll definitely pick me.”

“Maybe, to make things fairer, we shouldn’t tell him who built each snowman?” Ginny reasoned, sensing another argument.

Lily went to speak but stopped herself. James and Albus were silent too. “That seems fair,” she said, after a pause.

Ron spun into the room and dusted himself off, accepting Lily’s rather violent hug and picking her up into the air. “How’s my favourite Potter girl?”

“Feeling like I really like glit-”

“That’s cheating, Lily!” Albus interrupted her.

Ron looked between them bewildered, then over to Ginny.

“Ronald, dearest brother of mine, we were wondering if you would do us a quick favour while you’re here and judge our impromptu snowman competition.”

Ron blinked round at the six expectant faces. “I have to judge who’s built the best snowman out of you lot?”

“We were in teams,” James explained. “Me and Mum, Albus and Dad, Lily and Teddy.”

“Three snowmen, but we aren’t going to say who made which one.” Ginny added.

“Okay, I can do that.” Ron shrugged and allowed the children to lead him away into the garden where the three odd snowmen stood proudly. Harry quickly shot another strengthening charm at their snowman and Teddy definitely enlarged the bow tie on theirs.

“These are mad, you know that right?” Ron grinned at the Potters who shared proud looks. “But if I had to pick the maddest out of the lot, then it has to be this glittery one. That’s yours I’m guessing James?”

James missed the joke, scowled heavily and grumbled “no, I hate glitter,” stamping his foot into the snow.

“Then again, if we’re talking about the best building of a snowman, then this one has a clear height advantage. A lot of effort has gone into the height of that.” He surveyed Harry and Albus’ snowman.

“But I also have a bit of a soft spot for snowmen with wands for noses.” He poked at James’ wand where it was firmly stuck into the compacted snow.

“So who’s the winner?” Lily said impatiently. “You sort of said all three.”

“All three are the winners,” Ron beamed and Harry groaned as the children started to complain.

“Lily, consider this a lesson in never relying on a brother too much.”

Lily saluted her mother, laughing, which was a relief as she was easily the most competitive out of the three Potter children.

They trudged back inside, leaving the three winning snowmen stood proudly in the garden.

Harry spoke when they were back by the fireplace. “Now that’s sorted, what did you need, Ron?”

Ron grinned. “I feel a bit silly asking now, but you couldn’t come and be an impartial judge for the First Annual Granger-Weasley Gingerbread House competition could you?”

#12 days of shipmas #HolidayHG #Harry Potter fanfiction #Harry Potter #Ginny Weasley #hinny #James Sirius Potter #Albus Severus Potter #lily Luna Potter #teddy lupin #Ron Weasley #12daysofshipmas #glitterandsnowmen

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szzln · 6 years

Text

a hunnid questions

thanks for taggin me bby :) @dacremontgomerylover

1. What is your nickname? siggy, sid

2. How old are you? 19 (i don’t want to leave my teen years)

3. What is your birth month? september

4. What is your zodiac sign? virgo, yeeet

5. What is your favourite colour? blueeee (like my feelings)

6. What’s your lucky number? don’t really have one, but I like 5 and 8

7. Do you have any pets? a stray cat named Pablo and I love her dearly

8. Where are you from? australia

9. How tall are you? 5’7”

10. What shoe size are you? UK 11

11. How many pairs of shoes do you own? 7?

12. Are you random? with my closest friends, yes

13. Last person you texted? my friend group chat

14. Are you psychic in any way? when i predict things, they are usually wrong so i’m going to say no

15. Last TV show watched? brooklyn nine-nine!!!

16. Favourite movie? the book of life, a walk to remember, she’s all that

17. Favourite show from your childhood? iCarly, victorious

18. Do you want children? yes but later down the track. i can’t think of kids now, i have enough brothers as it is

19. Do you want a church wedding? not a church wedding, but somewhere really nice, maybe at a really nice function hall that looks out to the lake, with a dope ass floral garden – a place that’s got them real aesthetics lmao

20. What is your religion? i believe there is a God but I try to follow the christianity values that my family follows. i definitely know i’m going to hell.

21. Have you ever been to the hospital? um yes, who hasn’t? i was born at one.

22. Have you ever got in trouble with the law? yes (kind of). it was one of those times where i paid for a child ticket when i just started my first year of uni (because the ticket prices for child and student concession are the same) so i thought i wasn’t going to get caught at like 7pm, when all the transport officials have finished. apparently, they hadn’t finished, so i was left with them in front of me asking for my id’s lol

23. How is life? i’m nearing the end of my first sem of second year of uni! i am so relieved that i finished my classes today. i have two essays due this weekend, i’m completely fucked over both and an exam next weekend but i’m okay! i’ve already cried over about them lmao :)

24. Baths or showers? showers all the way.

25. What colour socks are you wearing? black glitter socks

26. Have you ever been famous? if you count people saying hi to you when you don’t know their name, then yes. at school hahaha

27. Would you like to be a big celebrity? i’d love to be, honestly. it sounds conceited but i’ve dreamed of being famous. when i get hate comments, i love to be witty

28. What type of music do you like? r&b yeeeet. pop, sad ballads (EXTRA POINTS IF THEY MAKE ME WEEP LIKE A FUCKING BABY)

29. Have you ever been skinny dipping? omg no and probably never will

30. How many pillows do you sleep with? i sleep with one with a few rectangle cushions here and there

31. What position do you usually sleep in? on my back with my arms stretched taking up all the space. and my stomach with my leg folded up with my pillow lying vertically with me

32. How big is your house? to be honest, i don’t like talking about my living arrangements. i feel like it’s a place for me, my own private space. i’m just going to say it’s cosy.

33. What do you typically have for breakfast? whatever cereal there is, or for brunch, i’ll have whatever was last night’s dinner

34. Have you ever left the country? once to new zealand

35. Have you ever tried archery? no but i think i’ll suck at it big time. i can’t even handle a toy archery set, what makes me think i can try with an actual arrow??? lmaaoo

36. Do you like anyone? there’s this cutie, he looks like he’s the same age, maybe a little older, and he does after school care for the children at my youngest brother’s school. we have never spoken and i’d like it that way

37. Favourite swear word? fuck

38. When do you fall asleep? whenever i feel tired. or when i have a headache. or when i can’t be bothered with my school work anymore lol

39. Do you have any scars? if you hadn’t noticed, I have chicken pox scars all over my face.

40. Sexual orientation? straight (but sometimes i can’t help that people of the same sex as me are gorgeous and i wish i could be them)

41. Are you a good liar? i’d like to say so. it’s called acting

42. What languages would you like to learn? i’d love to learn spanish again. maybe italian, greek?

43. Top 10 songs? fall in line – demi x xtina be careful – cardi b drew barrymore – bryce vine 2002 – anne-marie smooth criminal – michael jackson what i need – hayley x kehlani you can cry – marshmello, james arthur, juicy j why – shawn mendes i was never there – the weeknd lovely – billie eilish x khalid

44. Do you like your country? yes

45. Do you have friends from the web? omg yes, i love them dearly

46. What is your personality type? according to the 16-personalities survey, i am an adventurer (not an ad lol)

47. Hogwarts House? according to the official Hogwarts house quiz, i’m a gryffindor but i lowkey want to be a slytherin

48. Can you curl your tongue? side to side, oui

49. Pick one fictional character you can relate to?

50. Left or right-handed? right-handed

51. Are you scared of spiders? i’d slowly walk away from spiders, buT FUCK SNAKES I’M OUT

52. Favourite food? anything that’s good.

53. Favourite foreign food? chinese

54. Are you a clean or messy person? i myself am a mess

55. If you could switch your gender for a day, what would you do? look at my new genitals

56. What colour underwear? grey

57. How long does it take for you to get ready? abouts an hour

58. Do you have much of an ego? i’d like to stay grounded for as long as possible

59. Do you suck or bite lollipops? both

60. Do you talk to yourself? yes, quietly.

61. Do you sing to yourself? is that even a question, of course i do.

62. Are you a good singer? i’m decent.

63. Biggest Fears? snakES AND CROWDED PLACES FUCK ME UP

64. Are you a gossip? uni has me wary of what people say and what headlines i see online. i won’t believe it until proven.

65. Are you a grammar Nazi? i sat here for a minute before I answered these questions correcting ‘favorite’ to ‘favourite’ and ‘color’ to ‘colour’. but i don’t think I’d point out something unless it was written on paper in person?

66. Do you have long or short hair? medium. my hair is growing and is a happy lass

67. Can you name all 50 states of America? i can probably name like 10, i’m not american

68. Favourite school subject? music practices was fun af

69. Extrovert or Introvert? introvert 100%

70. Have you ever been scuba diving? probably not, i’m scared of accidentally sucking in the mask for the oxygen or the oxygen tank failing

71. What makes you nervous? crowded places and cute guys

72. Are you scared of the dark? no. i love the dark and i get pissed when a room is too bright.

73. Do you correct people when they make mistakes? i question them whether it’s right or not to see if they’d pick up on it or lecture me on said topic

74. Are you ticklish? i hate that i am

75. Have you ever started a rumour? who has the energy to though?

76. Have you ever been out of your home country? yes. i’ve answered this (so basically there’s 99 qs mwuahaha)

77. Have you ever drank underage? omg no. my parents would have whooped my ass

78. Have you ever done drugs? prescription drugs, yes.

79. What do you fantasize about? me being in a relationship

80. How many piercings do you have? only my hears. i would like a nose piercing soon

81. Can you roll your R’s? okurrrrrrr

82. How fast can you type? i don’t even know

83. How fast can you run? bruh. i don’t run at all (unless if it was for the bus, then maybe)

84. What colour is your hair? black at roots, and then brown and then washed out green

85. What colour are your eyes? brown

86. What are you allergic to? nothinnnn’

87. Do you keep a journal? i try to, but like I forget lol

88. Are you depressed about anything? my life? myself?

89. Do you like your age? yes.

90. What makes you angry? slow walkers, people who are closed minded, people who think feminism is a bunch of sexist, man-hating screaming women (although urban dictionary’s multiple definitions on feminism makes me howl of laughter), people who have a chip on their shoulder for no reason

91. Do you like your own name? i’ve grown to like it.

92. Did you ever get a foreign object up your nose? okay so this happened when i was like between 4 and 6. it was either before or after christmas and i was at my grandparents’ house because they were watching me while my parents were out. for me at that age, i was always bored, so i decided to remove the cushions from the single chair i was sitting on. i found these two little plastic balls that must have come off some christmas decorations and i wanted to see if it could fit up my nose. it did. until i decided to push it up further to the point it got stuck and i started crying for my aunty to help me take it out. she didn’t help me and told me that i needed to get it out myself because it was my own wrongdoing LMAAO

93. Do you want a boy or a girl for a child? why not have both?

94. What talents do you have? i can crack my elbow the way we crack our knuckles, does that count?

95. Sun or moon? moon

96. How did you get your name? my parents had already decided on the name ‘angel’ for me lol. but apparently when i was born, to my mum she looked at me and was immediately was like “sigalu!” (pronounced si-nguh-lou) and so she called my great-grandfather (mum’s mum’s dad) to ask if she could name me after my nana, and voila :) (the name is sacred and can only be given permission to use it).

97. Are you religious? i try to be a good child of God

98. Have you ever been to a therapist? no but i think i should

99. Colour of your bedspread? dark-beige

100. Colour of your room? an ugly off-white colour

#get to know me #me #personal

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cece2046 · 6 years

Text

Close the Curtains - Chap 1

Thank you my beta @reynardinepttr! Sorry I'm shit at English apparently omg.

Teddy Lupin × Hermione Granger

FFN: https://www.fanfiction.net/s/12748991/1/Close-the-Curtains

AO3: http://archiveofourown.org/works/12922338/chapters/29528235

@sissannis because... yeah.

I saw her and I said to James, “I’m in love.”

James was texting to Albus or Victoire or whichever cousin our twisted huge family has. He hummed. I waited. About ten text-sent pop sounds later, he jumped a bit and turned his eyes to me. “What?” he asked.

“I’m in love? That thing’s gonna get you killed you know, if you keep putting all your goddamn attention into it.”

James wasn’t having any of it. “You’re in love with who?”

“Whom,” I replied calmly. “With her.” I pointed to her as discreetly as I could manage.

James turned his head and let out a soft “whoa”.

I know. That’s what I felt several moments ago.

The thing about me that you have to know is, I’m a very calm person. You have to be if you want some degree of emotional privacy as a Metamorphmagus. You need to train yourself not to change your hair colour according to your favorite person in the vicinity. That’s very cute and all when you’re a baby. Still cute when you’re a kid, but once you step into teenage years, it becomes inconvenient when all you want is to “play it cool”, you know? And now I’m an adult, that’d be simply embarrassing.

I know my mum didn’t care about showing her emotional status for everyone not colourblind to see, according to hearsay from Harry or Ginny or Ron. But I’m not my mum. I’ve been told many times that my mum was a lot more chipper than me. I don’t know why they keep telling me that. Maybe they just want me to be happier by setting up a role model out of my late mother, as ridiculous as that sounds?

I sometimes think that even though I’m a Metamorphmagus like my mum, I’m more like my dad. Not that I know about him much, mind you, but a kid has a lot to think about when he’s an orphan yet at the same time he has thousands of family members. Have you seen the Weasleys? Honestly.

Anyway, I’m in love but I’m pretty sure that my expression didn’t change at all. Totally cool. This woman is gorgeous. Not in a super model way or something. She’s just so… I don’t know. I just can’t take my eyes off her. She’s different, like she knows a lot of things and has been to a lot of places, yet I can still picture her sitting next to the fireplace in the Burrow and drinking tea with a book on her lap. It’s unsettling, to be honest.

James is saying something.

I turned my eyes to him. “What did you just say?”

“She’s coming our way, mate.” James stuffed his phone in the back pocket of his jeans, seeming a little nervous, which is totally out of character for him.

She is coming our way. Yes she is. Suddenly I don’t know the purpose of my own hands anymore. Where should I put them? Why do I have them if I can’t come up with a comfortable place to put them? Do I look at her? Do I pretend that my phone buzzed? Do I pretend to have a stroke? Do I pretend to be high?

I don’t know what I'm doing and she’s in front of us. She might be in her 30s? I don’t know. I can’t breathe.

She opened her mouth.

“James? James Potter?”

What?

James visibly jumped. Chill, mate. She just said your name. It’s not like she screamed your name when she came.

Wait, what? What now?

“Yes, ma’am. I mean, My Lady. I mean, yes. Yes. I am. James Sirius Potter. James Potter. The Junior. Just James. I mean, yes. My pleasure. And you are?” James stuttered his way through it. I’m proud of him. I still can’t form a sentence.

She smiled. I’ve never seen such a smile before. It’s not sunshine or daisies or unicorns or rainbows. It’s a little warm and a little sad at the same time. It’s like that first moment when there’s a breeze and you realize that summer is ending soon, but it’s not unpleasant, especially if you’re a fan of autumn.

“I’m Hermione Granger. Glad to make your acquaintance, too.”

“Hermione Granger? You’re Hermione Granger? Oh my god. Oh my god. I’m such a fan. You fought next to my dad in the war, yeah? And your thesis on that new application of dragon blood is so inspiring!” James is beaming.

“Thank you.” She gave him another smile. “Are you taking me to Harry? Is that why you’re here? Harry said in the last letter that he was going to send you to welcome me, since he has this meeting that he can’t get out of.”

“Oh yes, definitely. Jeez, dad didn’t say that you’re so hot. What are you, 40 years old now?”

Way to go, James.

She didn’t take offence. “More or less.” And then she turned to me. She’s staring at me. “Teddy?” Her voice is somehow lower. She looks a lot younger at that moment, like a school girl.

I straightened. “You know me?”

She closed her eyes for a bit. “You were still very young when I left Britain,” she said. “No wonder you don’t remember me.”

And suddenly she’s hugging me. She’s tiny compared to me, but I still feel enveloped. Her hair smells nice. I don’t know that scent. I tentatively put my right hand on her back between her shoulder blades. I shouldn’t have done that, because now she’s hugging me harder. She’s so soft. I’m getting hard. This hug needs to stop. Right. Now.

She pulled back like she heard my thoughts. “Shall we?” That’s directed to James, who’s currently staring at me with a thoughtful look.

“Yes, this way, Hermione. May I call you Hermione?”

“Don’t be ridiculous. I’m practically your aunt."

We’re driving to James’s flat in Muggle London and then taking the floo. James is driving. Hermione takes the shotgun. I’m on the backseat. James struck up a conversation about her academic theory about something. I’m not listening. I’m just feeling her voice and thinking.

It’s not a secret that Harry and Ron have a third best friend. They talk about her. Not a lot, but they’re not keeping her a secret from us kids. We’ve all been curious once, but the moment we got a textbook she wrote, the curiosity disappeared. You don't really get curious about your textbook writer. No one does. We all tend to avoid them. So all we know is that she’s their best friend, she fought in the war, and she left for academic achievements. Nice and easy.

Come to think of it, why hasn't she come back to visit? Ever? If she’s such a good friend of Harry and Ron’s?

James is enamoured. He might have a crush on her. I can tell. What about her? I can’t see her face on the backseat. Well, a little. I can see her left ear, partly obscured by her hair. It’s pale and delicate. I want to touch it. I want to lick it. I’m being weird. Her neck is there for me to observe, too. I know if she turns around this moment and sees me, I might as well kiss my chance with her goodbye. This is so creepy, staring at that little patch of skin like a serial killer or… skin… fanatic.

James saved me from myself. “Are you coming with us, Teddy?”

I turned my eyes to him. “Sure. Why not?”

He has this meaningful little evil smile in his eyes in the rear mirror. “I thought you had a date with a certain blonde?”

“It’s not a date. It’s just a drink.”

“So? Are you going or not?”

“I can cancel.”

James whistled. I know what’s on his mind. He’s such a child.

“Are you single, James?” Hermione asked.

James suddenly tensed. “Ah, no?”

Hermione laughed. “Is that a question?”

James chuckled nervously. “Hey, Hermione, are you obligated to tell my parents everything regarding to me? Like, real-aunt stuff?”

I guess that’s the problem when you have parents. You love them. They love you. But somehow you just cannot be the people who know each other the most.

I’m a little surprised that Hermione actually thought about it for a bit. I can tell James is surprised too. People all give quick answers when they’re asked about this. Angelina will say “you bet your ass I will tell Ginny everything kids”. George will say “nah dude this is between you and me, pranksters’ honour”. But Hermione, she’s thinking about it like she’s not sure.

After a moment, she said, “I guess it depends.”

James is a little miffed. “Depends on what?”

She shrugged. “On whether or not it’s necessary to tell them?”

“How do you decide that?” I asked. I didn’t realise that I was already leaning forward and ready to participate.

She turned around and looked at me. “Well, I guess if James’s secret might put him in grave danger, then I should tell Harry about it. Otherwise I’m a pretty good secret keeper.” She paused for a moment, added, “What about you, Teddy? Do you tell Harry everything about James?”

I don’t know why, but her words warmed me in an unexpected way, like in her way of asking, she put me in the same level as her - adult, independent, guardian of that big child sitting in the driver’s seat. It means that she doesn’t see me as a child; instead, she sees me as a partner in crime in this car if James spills one of his secrets, and that pleases me enormously.

I looked into her eyes and said, “I’m the best secret keeper in the world.”

She shivered. Maybe. Maybe it’s just a trick of light and shadows and the speeding scenery outside the window. She didn’t look away though. I didn’t look away either. One moment passed and then we missed our opportunity to look away without being awkward or weird, so we have to keep looking at each other. I can’t control myself that well. I looked down to her lips for a split second, but she caught me. I can tell.

Damn it.

She silently turned around completely. James glared at me for a bit. Merlin, give me a break.

“So,” James said, “if I tell you something about my love life you wouldn’t tell my parents?”

Her voice is steady. “No. Unless your girlfriend plans to kill you.”

“That’s not as far-fetched as you would imagine,” James laughed a bit.

She’s totally relaxed now. “So you have one? Girlfriend?”

James hummed.

“And Harry doesn’t know?”

James hummed again.

She laughed a bit. “Okay. I won’t tell him, but I want a full report.”

James laughed along. “You need to win my trust first.”

She might murmured something like “Harry Potter’s fucking son”. I’m sure I heard wrong.

It’s pretty uneventful after that. We flooed to the Ministry, sat outside Harry’s office, and waited for him to end whatever’s going on in there. An assistant Auror, Kris, said that Auror Potter knew we’d arrived and he’d meet us as soon as possible. It’s interesting, the Auror Office. Everyone’s constantly on the move. Only one or two are sitting at their desks and chewing their quills. I’m guessing case closing report.

Hermione sits between me and James. James is on his phone again. He’s been on his phone ever since Malfoy Industries invented a method to make Muggle devices work normally in magical environments, which means five years ago. I think. Harry threatened to reducto that thing once, but he never did. I guess for a man like Harry, the more ways to find his family at any given time, the better.

She wasn’t doing anything, just watching the office and taking it all in. She’s been away for quite some time, after all. I can feel her beside me even when I’m not looking at her. I don’t feel warmth or smell her scent or something like that. No. I just feel her presence.

And then someone said, in a weak voice, “Merlin’s balls. Hermione.”

I looked up, and there’s Ron. He’s pale as a corpse.

Hermione stood up and said calmly, “Hi, Ron.”

And then he’s kissing her. And my blood turned to ice in my veins.

#Teddy Lupin #Hermione Granger #hprarepairnet #this is seriously fluff #no one's dead #yet #fairestoftherare

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