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#feels nice to have grown up with them and see their stories end
alrightberries · 6 months
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i just finished watching the aot final movie and ngl i cried a bit
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joelsgreys · 24 days
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a safe haven l ten
Post Outbreak! Joel Miller x Female Reader
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series masterlist l previous chapter l next chapter
summary: After a long night, Joel and Ellie take you home.
warnings/tags: 18+ ONLY, MINORS DNI. (TW) THIS CHAPTER CONTAINS MENTIONS OF DOMESTIC VIOLENCE, MENTIONS OF AN INJURY SUSTAINED FROM AN ACT OF DOMESTIC VIOLENCE, PREGNANCY, CONVERSATIONS SURROUNDING PREGNANCY LOSS . PLEASE HEED THE WARNINGS. Ellie and reader are very close to each other, Joel deals with feelings of guilt, Joel and Maria make nice, Joel gives reader a bath and washes her hair, food consumption (i am just gonna apologize to my lactose intolerant folks right now, trust me i must pretend with you), both reader and Joel have some big feelings, reader mentions her deceased father, angst, soft and domestic Joel, fluff.
word count: 5k
a/n: i have not updated this series since october. :l i feel a a mixed bag of emotions updating after all this time, but most of all, i am grateful to know there are a couple of people out there who are still invested in this story. to anyone who has been waiting: truly, it means the world that you have shown me patience, support, and kindness. believe me, i am going to be seeing this story to the end, and it is all thanks to those who continue to show this lil story of mine a whole lotta love. special shoutout to the loveliest human @mrsmando who made me this beautiful mooodboard every single time i got stuck during this chapter, i looked at it and it gave me the boost of inspiration i needed. thank you mimi <33 this chapter is fairly tame, the next chapter is already in the works, and there are a couple of time jumps coming. overall, we are down to the last handful of chapters. let’s finish this story and give these two the ending they deserve, shall we?
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“What the hell is taking Tommy so fucking long?” Ellie whines. She’s sprawled out on the couch with her head in your lap, and her arm draped over her eyes. Her feet are hanging, dangling over the edge of the couch at an odd angle after you’d warned her not to get muck from her sneakers on the linen fabric. Despite Joel insisting over and over that she head on back to the house, she had stubbornly refused, not wanting to leave your side. “It’s been over two hours! He’s taking fucking forever, man. What’s the fucking hold up?”
Joel bites back a sigh, masking his own impatience. Or at least, he tries. He’s grown just as restless as the kid, if not more. Much like Ellie, he’s desperate. He’s itching to take you home already, almost too anxious to watch you take that first step over his threshold, and into your new life with him and with Ellie. He aches, aches, to get you settled into the place where you would be spending the remainder of your days with one another, where you would be safe, and loved in the way you deserved to be loved—the place where he would cherish and adore you until his final breath.
“Don’t know,” he answers, his voice sounding rougher, more gruff than usual. Reaching up, he scrubs his hand down the side of his face, adding tiredly, “He might be a while longer, kiddo. It could be another hour, could be more. Like I already told you, s’probably best if you just go on and head back to the house without us, alright?”
“No. I’m not walking out that fucking door unless she’s with me.” She pauses and pulls her arm away from her face for a moment, just long enough to throw a teeny glare his way. “Unless you’re both with me. The three of us go home together, or it’s no fucking deal. Got it?”
He shakes his head in utter exasperation.
“Ellie, we’ll be right here down the fuckin’ road—”
Her hand shoots out and she flips him off.
Just when he’s about to chastise her, he stops himself, clamping his mouth shut. It’s pointless.
Kid’s too goddamn hard headed for her own good, and Joel knows he’s just wasting his breath with her.
“I’m sure he’ll be back soon,” you reassure them both, weaving your fingers through her hair to scratch at her scalp in an effort to soothe her. “Right, Joel?”
He meets your exhausted, worn down gaze from where he’s standing across the room, and his heart lurches in his chest. As the guilt begins creeping in, he’s forced to look away. He can’t imagine the living hell you had been through over the last twenty four hours alone. And the worst part about it was the realization that last night, while he was fast asleep in bed just a couple of houses up the road, that fucking bastard had his belt wrapped around your throat.
Joel feels sick to his fucking stomach all over again.
Horrifying, vividly real images of you helplessly trapped underneath Luke scratching and clawing at the leather around your neck with trembling fingers, struggling to breathe oxygen into your burning lungs as he tugged it tighter and tighter through the buckle flash in his mind, a gruesome nightmare turned into reality.
Exactly how far had Luke taken it?
Until you had grown too weak to keep fighting?
Until you almost lost complete consciousness?
Until he noticed the life threatening to leave your eyes?
Is that when he had finally stopped pulling on the belt?
Joel shudders, a bitter taste climbing up his throat as it sinks in. He could have lost you—and his unborn child.
This shouldn’t have happened.
He shouldn’t have let you walk away that night.
This wouldn’t have happened if he hadn’t let you walk away from him that night.
“Joel,” you say his name, quiet and weary.
His head snaps back in your direction and he glances at you, almost missing the subtle shake of your head. It is a silent warning telling him not to go there, though you know by the tight clench of his jaw it’s too late for that.
Joel makes the futile attempt to hide it, but he sees it written all over your face—you know what he’s thinking because you know him like the back of your own hand, and you just know he’s placing all of the blame for what happened to you on his own shoulders.
But can you honestly fault him for that?
How can you expect him not to feel like he is somehow responsible for this? Just how the hell is he supposed to make himself believe he hadn’t failed you?
Joel promised—he had fucking promised you—that he wouldn’t let anything bad happen to you. He had sworn to keep you safe, made a vow to protect you from Luke, but here you are, your soft, delicate flesh marred with the painful evidence of yet another one of his failures.
And it was all because he had let you walk away on that fucking night.
He should have done something.
Even if it meant running the risk of you never speaking to him again—even if you never forgave him, spent the rest of your life angry and hating him for going against your wishes. He should have something.
“Joel—”
“Be right back,” he mutters, lightly shaking his head.
Shoving away from the doorframe he’s leaning against, Joel pivots on the heel of his boot and starts down the hallway. He walks into the kitchen where he finds Maria standing at the counter, tapping her fingers against the smooth, laminated oakwood as she waits for the coffee she’d offered him a few minutes ago to finish brewing. She’d offered to whip up a quick supper, but food was the last thing on everyone’s mind.
“Tommy’s been gone for a couple hours now. Girls are startin’ to get real tired of just sittin’ around waitin’ for him to come back,” he tells her, exhaling the sigh he’d held back in the living room. “What do you think could be keepin’ him so long?”
With her back still to him, Maria reminds him, “Well, he did mention he was going to round up the council and get them together for an emergency meeting.” She lets out a sigh that matches his own—it’s been a long night for her, too. When the last drop of dark roast drips into the glass pot, she carefully takes the pot by the plastic handle and pours the steaming coffee into a speckled, white and blue ceramic mug. “Do you take it with milk and sugar?”
“No thanks, that’s alright,” he declines as politely as he can.
“I also have cinnamon if you’d like?”
“Plain black’s just fine.” He gives her a nod of gratitude when she hands it to him. “Thank you. And I don’t just mean the coffee, but for, uh—for bandagin’ up my hand for me, too.” He clocks the brief look of surprise on her face and almost laughs. He doesn’t blame her for being taken aback, because truth be told, so is he. Since he’d met Maria, he had known she didn’t trust him as far as she could throw him. There was something of a mutual understanding between them, a silent agreement they had made to keep each other at arm’s length, to only interact when it was absolutely necessary.
Never did he think he would be standing in her kitchen, thanking her for patching up his hand, and for making him a cup of coffee out of the kindness of her heart.
His brother wouldn’t believe it.
“Don’t mention it.” Crossing her arms over her chest, she leans back against the counter. “How’s it feel, by the way?”
“S’fine,” he replies, shrugging. “Nothin’ I can’t handle.”
There’s a momentary silence. A taste of tension lingers over their heads, and he knows at one point or another, he’s going to have to address the affair, the very reason everything had unfolded in such a terrible manner.
Guess now’s as good a time as fuckin’ any, he thinks to himself with an inward sigh.
Joel lightly clears his throat. “Listen, since we’ve got a minute alone, just the two of us, I was wonderin’ if, uh—if we could talk ‘bout somethin’? If that’s alright?”
“Of course.” Maria gives him the floor.
“I know that she—” Pausing, he shuffles from the heel of one boot to the other, his ears burning hot. He had known it wouldn’t be an easy conversation to have, but he underestimated just how uncomfortable it would be, regardless of what she already knew. “I know she told you and Tommy all ‘bout us, and ‘bout our relationship. See, the thing is, the first time I saw her—”
Again, Joel stops, the burning sensation now radiating, spreading from his ears to his face and down his neck, flushing his skin a deep, deep shade of pink. Unable to meet his sister in law’s gaze, he glances down into his mug, as if he will somehow find the right words to say somewhere in the depths of his coffee.
“It was never my intention, y’know,” he finally says after a minute. “Goin’ after a married woman. I swear, I never meant to fall for her. I just fuckin’ did. I think I might’ve fallen for her long before I even met her,” he confesses. He feels himself darken to a shade of maroon under her curious stare. “And somehow, for reasons I ain’t all too sure I’ll ever understand, she fell for me too.”
Maria raises an eyebrow at him. “Look, I’m not judging you, Joel,” she assures him, shaking her head. “If that’s what you’re thinking. I’m not judging her, either.”
He looks up at her, blurting out, “You’re not?”
She moves her hands to cradle her swollen middle. “Do I wish you two had handled everything differently?” she answers her own query with a nod of her head. “Oh, I’m sure we all do. But I’ve known her for a long time now. I know the kind of woman she is. And I’m starting to see the kind of man you are.”
“And what kinda man is that, Maria?”
He waits without the slightest clue as to what she could possibly say.
“Since you came back to Jackson, I’ve chosen to keep my distance from you—but make no mistake, I’ve been watching you like a hawk since day one. Waiting for any signs of trouble. Waiting for you to fuck up. Waiting for you to give me a good reason to throw your ass out of this community because I didn’t trust you. Not after all the things I was told about you.”
He snorts. “You goin’ somewhere with this?”
“You are not who I thought you were,” Maria admits, smiling wryly. “I’ve gotten to see a different side of you. You pull your weight around here by doing your job and doing it well. You stay out of trouble—for the most part. And more importantly, I have seen the way that you’ve stepped up to be a father figure to Ellie. It takes a good man to do that, Joel.”
“Think that’s the nicest fuckin’ thing you’ve ever said to me,” he muses, setting his mug down on the counter. “I stepped up because I love her. I love them both. Those two, they’re the best parts of me. They’re the reasons I keep goin’ and now I’ve got another reason on the way.”
Maria smiles, but it vanishes as quickly as it appears.
Catching her hesitance, Joel asks, “What? What is it?”
“What comes next is not going to be easy,” she warns him, lowering her voice. Even with the living room a fair distance from the kitchen, she doesn’t want to run the risk of you overhearing her. “For as hard as we’re going to try to contain the fire, it will spread, and everyone in this town will find out about everything—including the affair. People are going to talk, and believe me, they’re going to have a whole lot to say about it, Joel.”
He can’t help but roll his eyes at her.
“Think I can handle some fuckin’ gossip, Maria.”
“I know you can. But I’m not sure if she can,” Maria tells him, quietly. “It worries me. She’s been through a lot in just one night alone. I don’t want her stressing anymore than she already has. She is in a very delicate stage of her pregnancy right now, Joel. If she’s not careful, she could have a miscarriage. She had one about two years ago when her father became sick—” Observing his lack of a reaction, she realizes, “You knew that already.”
“Yeah,” he sighs. He knows where she’s going with this. “I did. She told me ‘bout it.”
“It makes her chances of having another one higher—”
Joel doesn’t even allow himself to think of it happening to you again. “I get it,” he interjects, trying not to sound too curt. “I’ll make sure she takes it real easy, alright?”
Lifting a hand off her belly, she reaches out and takes a hold of his forearm, gripping it tightly.
“Promise me something, Joel. Promise me that you’ll look after her,” Maria pleads him, gently. “Please. After everything she’s been through—I need you to promise me that she’s going to be in good hands with you.”
He nods. Without thinking, he places his hand over hers in an unexpected token of affection and reassurance. “You have my word, Maria. I’ll take good care of her.”
She gives his arm a grateful squeeze, then glances over his shoulder at the clock on the wall. “It’s getting pretty late. We don’t know how much longer Tommy’s going to be with the council. Why don’t we just go ahead and call it a night?” she suggests. “We can all get together first thing in the morning at your place to talk about it.”
“Yeah, good idea,” he agrees. “She really needs to rest.”
Maria gives his arm another squeeze. 
“Go on then, Joel. Take your girls home.”
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“Finally!” Ellie exclaims with a dramatic flail of her arms as she shoves through the front door.
“Alright, kiddo. Get your behind upstairs and into the shower,” Joel instructs her, flipping on the lights in the foyer. “Y’smell like fuckin’ horse shit.”
She lifts the collar of her shirt to her nose, takes a whiff, and makes a face. “Yeah, I won’t argue with you there,” she mutters. She toes off her dirty sneakers and leaves them beside the door before dashing up the staircase, taking two steps at a time.
He shouts after her, “And don’t use up all the hot—”
“Yeah, yeah, I fucking know the rules, dude!”
Moments later, you both hear the shower going.
“Little shit,” he grumbles.
You exhale an amused huff through your nose.
Joel withdraws his arm from around your shoulders and reaches for your hand, lacing your fingers together. “C’mon, darlin’.” He guides you up the stairs and down the hallway into his bedroom where he switches on the light before proceeding to lead you over to his dresser. “I’ve got a bunch of shirts in this top drawer here,” he says. Dropping your hand, he pulls it open for you and gestures to it with a jut of his chin as he takes a step backwards, moving out of the way. “Go ahead and pick one to sleep in tonight. Want you to be comfortable, so help yourself to whichever one you want, sweet girl.”
Nodding, you begin to rummage through the drawer, unaware of the moment he slips away. You reach for a t-shirt, but then a plaid green flannel catches your eye. You pluck it from the drawer, running your fingers over the soft, warm fabric. “Is it alright if I wear—?” You turn around, stopping mid sentence when you realize he’s no longer standing behind you. Puzzled, you follow the sound of running water into the bathroom where you find him kneeling beside the tub. “Joel? What are you doing?”
“Runnin’ you a bath.”
You notice the bloodied bandage beside him on the tile floor. “Joel, are you serious?” you scold him. “Maria just patched your hand up for you.”
“S’okay, peach. I can rewrap it when we’re done.” Joel sticks his injured hand under the faucet to check the temperature, the cold water soothing his cuts. Once it turns warm, then hot, he pulls out his hand, waiting for the tub to fill halfway before shutting the faucet off and rising to his feet. “C’mere, sweetheart.” He rolls the sleeves of his shirt up to his forearms, then beckons for you with both of his hands. “Let’s get you washed up.”
You remain standing by the door. “Joel, you don’t have to do this for me.”
“I know.”
“I’m capable of washing myself—”
“Yeah, I know that too,” he says, chuckling. “S’only fair, darlin’. Don’t you think?”
That’s when it hits you—how this moment is mirroring that night you had cleaned Joel up after you and Ellie had brought him home from the clinic with an injured shoulder. He allowed you to take care of him, and now, he was looking to do the same for you. And all you had to do was let him.
“But your hand—”
“Will be just fine,” Joel persists, stubbornly. “It’s nothin’ but a few cuts and scrapes. C’mon—or else I’m gonna march right over there and get you myself, peach.”
Knowing Joel, you certainly wouldn’t put it past him to throw you over his should and carry you to the bathtub.
“Fine,” you relent with a small sigh of defeat.
Setting his shirt down on the sink, you slowly walk over towards him and whirl around, letting him help you out of your knitted cardigan. You finish undressing yourself, inhaling a deep breath as you muster up the courage to turn back around and face him—when you finally do, it feels like a punch to the gut to see the heartbreak in his dark brown eyes, the subtle tremble of his bottom lip. You don’t have to look at yourself in the mirror to know it looks about a hundred times worse when you’re not wearing clothes.
Keeping your arms down at your sides, you fight every urge to cover yourself up. You’ve never felt so fucking vulnerable.
Clearing his throat, Joel holds out his hand. “C’mere.”
You accept it, and he helps you into the tub.
“How’s the water? S’not too hot, is it?”
You shake your head and he leans forward, kissing your temple so sweetly, your eyes flutter closed.
He washes your hair first, then takes a clean washcloth, lathering it up with a bar of milk and honey soap—the same soap he would smell on your skin all those nights. Admittedly, Joel preferred castile soap, but switched it when he found himself missing you during those weeks you were apart from him, when he needed the comfort of your scent. He is gentle with you, so gentle, as if he’s afraid you’ll shatter into pieces in his hands.
As he lightly drags the washcloth up your back and around your neck, you stiffen, prompting him to freeze too. “Fuck. Baby, did I hurt you?” he asks, and you hear the slight panic in his tone.
“No,” you say quickly, desperately trying to swallow the lump rising in your throat. “No, you didn’t hurt me. It’s just—” Every overwhelming emotion slams into you all at once, and you can’t seem to figure out which one to feel first. Humiliation? Fear? Relief?
The water sloshes around you as you pull your legs up to your chest and wrap your arms around your knees, giving yourself permission to feel them all. Bowing your head, you begin to sob quietly, hoping that Ellie, who is just down the hallway, won’t hear you crying again.
Joel says nothing. Washcloth still clutched in his hand, he leans forward over the edge of the tub and wraps his arms around you, pulling you close, or at least, as close as the barrier between the two of you will allow him.
“Joel,” you choke, trying to push him off. “Stop it. Your clothes, they’re getting all wet.”
“Hush. Don’t fuckin’ care ‘bout my clothes,” he croaks, and for a second, you swear he’s about to cry too. But he doesn’t. He holds himself strong. Tugging you closer against his chest, he buries his nose into your soaking wet hair, whispering his reassurance. “You’re okay, baby. You’re safe, my sweet girl. I’ve got you, alright?”
He pulls back slightly, dipping his hand into the water, placing it on your lower belly.
You look down, your eyes glazing over his bruised and battered knuckles. Proof that Joel Miller really would do anything for you.
“I know you do,” you say, softly. “I know you’ve got me, Joel.”
A while later, you’re dried, dressed, and composed. You follow Joel out of the bathroom and back into his room, where he has you take a seat on the bed. Noticing you had missed a button on his flannel shirt, he does it for you. He plants a kiss on the top of your head and says, “Give me a minute while I change.”
He peels off his wet clothes, being careful so as not to further agitate his sore, injured hand. After changing into a pair of gray sweatpants and an old, faded black t-shirt, he turns around only to find you’re sitting in bed underneath the covers.
“Sorry,” you apologize with a nervous chuckle as you rest your back against the headboard. “It just looked so warm and cozy—and it smells like you. I couldn’t resist making myself comfortable.”
Joel pads over to the side of the bed. He leans over, planting one hand on either side of you as he dips his head and brushes his lips against yours. “Ain’t got no reason to apologize, baby,” he assures you in a gentle murmur. “This is your bed now too, peach. This is your room. This is your home. Alright?”
Home.
You’re home.
He touches the tip of his nose to yours, and then draws himself back up to full height. “There’s somethin’ that I’ve gotta take care of downstairs, peach. I won’t be too long,” he promises.
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It’s almost midnight. Joel goes about the kitchen and he prepares you the quickest meal that he can think of. He plates the sandwich he’d thrown together and pours a glass of cow’s milk—he’s always sure to keep a pint of it in the refrigerator to make the kid her oatmeal in the mornings.
He heads back upstairs, only to find that while he had been gone, Ellie had joined you, making herself a little too comfortable on his side of the bed. He stands there at the door, watching the two of you.
“Hey, so is it true babies can hear stuff while they’re in there?” Ellie questions you, curiously.
“Mhm,” you reply with a nod. “They can hear music, for example. Voices—”
“Voices?” She smushes her face into your stomach and he hears a muffled, “Hey, dude!”
You giggle. “Ellie, I think it’s still a little too early.”
“When do you think it’ll be able to hear me?”
“I’m not too sure. In a few months, maybe?”
Ellie lifts her head, humming. “You know, I bet there’s baby books in the library,” she tells you as she sits up. “I’ll have Dina help me look for one tommor—oh shit.” She stares at you with wide eyes. “Dina! How are you going to tell her and Talia about Luke?”
Joel grimaces. He hadn’t thought of that, either.
“I—I’m not too sure.”
“You have to fucking tell them. Dina has to know about him. She has to know what a piece of shit he is, and so does Talia.”
Sensing your discomfort, Joel steps into the bedroom and intervenes before she can say another word. “Ellie, get to bed. S’late.”
“But—”
“Don’t make me tell you again,” he warns her, sternly.
She huffs, rolling her eyes. “Fine.” She climbs off the bed and on her way out, she eyes the plate in his hand. “That chicken?”
“Turkey. And it ain’t for you, it’s for her. So scram, kid.”
“Couldn’t have made me one while you were at it, old man?”
“Ellie, if you don’t get outta here right now—”
“Alright!” Ellie holds her hands up. “I’m leaving. Jesus.”
She disappears, closing the door behind her.
“Pain in my ass,” Joel mumbles, shaking his head as he walks over and carefully perches himself beside you. He hands you the plate. “Here, darlin’.”
“Joel, I appreciate this, but I’m really not very hungry.”
“Maybe not, but y’gotta eat,” he insists. “Baby needs it.”
Thankfully, you accept it without further protest.
“I’ll have Ellie get your things tomorrow,” Joel states as you’re eating. “Maria can go along with her since she knows the house. They’ll get your clothes and whatever else you might need outta there.”
“My father’s belongings.” You accidentally talk through a mouthful of turkey and bread. Swallowing, you tell him, “I have some boxes of his stuff in the basement. But they’re way too heavy for either of them to carry.”
“I’ll take care of that for you.” He reaches up, wiping a breadcrumb from the corner of your mouth with his thumb. “I can ask Tommy to give me a hand. Don’t you worry, peach. We won’t leave your dad’s things behind, I swear it.”
Relieved, you shoot him a grateful look, then polish off the last few bites of your sandwich.
“Here,” he says, offering you the glass of milk. “Figured it’s good for you, and good for the baby. Y’know, since it’s got calcium and…stuff.” He shrugs sheepishly, no clue as to what he’s talking about. “Vitamins, right?”
Nodding, you grab the glass and take a reluctant sip.
“You hate milk,” Joel realizes, raising an eyebrow.
“I do,” you admit with a laugh. “But you’re right. It’s good for both me and the baby, so cheers.” And with that, you somehow force the entire glass down.
He sets the dishes aside on the nightstand, figuring he can take them downstairs first thing in the morning.
Without bothering to rebandage his hand like he’d told you he would, Joel turns off the lights and climbs into bed with you. “All those nights wishin’ I could bring you home,” he muses as you curl into his side. “Wantin’ nothin’ more than to hold you in my arms in this bed. In our bed.” His arm slips around your shoulders, a laugh rumbling through his chest. “Almost doesn’t feel real, darlin’.”
Tilting your head, you nuzzle your nose into the scruff of his beard, prompting him to laugh again. Then, he remembers his conversation with Maria, and his smile fades from his face, his lips pursing together.
You catch the sudden shift in his demeanor.
“Joel? What’s the matter?”
“M’fine, baby. It’s just—” He hesitates. “From this point forward, I need you to let me handle things.”
“What do you mean?”
“I don’t want you gettin’ all stressed out, alright? I don’t want to run the risk of you—” He’s unsure of how to say it.
“Of me losing the baby,” you finish for him, quietly.
Joel winces, knowing he was wandering into sensitive territory. “Yeah. I—I really don’t want that to happen.” He pauses. “Maria mentioned to me you’re in a delicate stage. When do you reckon you’ll stop—how long until you don’t gotta worry ‘bout it?”
“After twelve weeks, my risk isn’t as high. If I make it to the second trimester in six weeks, then my chances of having another miscarriage are lower.”
Though you speak calmly, he clocks your anxiousness.
You’re worried, and he’d be lying if he said he wasn’t fucking worried out of his mind too.
Being a father at his age wasn’t ideal, but he wanted this child. It was part of him, and more importantly, it was a part of you.
Joel squeezes your shoulders. “I only ask ‘cause I was thinkin’ that, y’know, once we get to that point, maybe I can go ahead and start buildin’ the baby’s crib.”
“You’re going to build the crib?”
He nods. “And the highchair too. I can even make you a diaper changin’ table if y’want one.”
“Joel.” You can’t help but chuckle. “Our worlds were just turned completely upside down. You just found out that I’m pregnant, and you’re already thinking about building furniture? Aren’t we getting a little ahead of ourselves?”
“Hey, those things take a whole ‘lotta time,” he says in defense of himself. “Besides, winter’s right around the corner and I don’t wanna be out in the garage freezin’ my fuckin’ ass off. If I can get a head start now, I can have them all done in the spring by the time the baby comes.”
You fall silent.
“What’s on your mind?”
“I’m really scared of losing it,” you confess. “When I first took that pregnancy test, I wanted nothing more for it to be negative. Now, I’m terrified I won’t make it past my first trimester again. I really don’t want to lose it. I want this baby, Joel.”
He turns his head, meeting your eyes in the silver light shining through the lace curtains over his window. “S’why you’ve gotta let me handle things, darlin’. Okay?”
“Okay.”
“C’mere, my sweet girl.” Joel presses his lips to yours, murmuring against them, “I love you.”
His declaration comes with natural ease.
And so does yours.
“I love you too, Joel.”
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overtail · 2 months
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ATLA Headcannons - Dating Them ˗ˏˋ ♡ ˎˊ˗
These are all MY headcannons, and you dont have to agree on them :3
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Aang ༄
-since you two are so young, it tends to be awkward at first
-hes very touchy, but he'll try his best not to show it
-he'd love to hug you by wrapping his arms around you waist and bringing you tight. the feeling of your cheek against his chest makes his stomach flutter
-if you're a non-bender, he'll be very protective towards you. if you were ever taken or lost, he'd behave just like when appa was stolen by the sand benders
-he spends most of his free time daydreaming about you
-'you've got, nice, uh, ears?'
-horrible at compliments
-you hear whenever he asks Sokka for crappy advice
-absolutely adores when your hair is down (fem)
-when it comes to liking guys, he prefers longer hair (masc)
-blushes when you ruffle his grown out hair
-he'll take you on rides on appa when you're feeling down
-'i'd love to try, but there's meat in the stew..'
-if you were a bender, he'd always be begging you to teach him moves and tactics even if you didnt know how to be an instructor
-loves skin to skin contact, and will press his bare chest against your back when sleeping
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Sokka 𖦹
-the BIGGEST nagger
-can't ever stop moving while sitting around the fire
-won't keep his lips off yours when you're alone
-will fall head over heels for an angsty teen boy (masc)
-especially mean to you when he likes you, and teases you while dating
-thinks your aggression is hot
-very protective of you, even if you're strong/a warrior
-'shit- i mean uhm.."
-cussing problem
-both of you guys are stupid together, so when you were thirsty and dehydrated in the desert, you both got high on cactus juice
-'heh.. you see that flying shark cat?'
-loves seeing you embrace your feminine side (fem)
-love language is cooking for you, even if he sucks
-crappy pick up lines work but just because you think his attempt is cute
-'did i hurt when you fell from heaven?'
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Zuko ☄
-not very open about his emotions in the beginning
-when he gets comfortable with you, he'll sometimes cry in your arms at night
-arm across your shoulders or around your waist CONSTANTLY.
-and when i mean constantly, i mean constantly.
-when hes fire lord, he'll have a designated room for whatever hobby you're passionate about
-'the greenhouse is just outside-' 'A GREENHOUSE?!'
-thinks stretch marks are the most beautiful thing
-can stare at your face for hours on end because hes so lost in your eyes
-loves doodling you in his notebooks
-if hes in an angry mood, he'll always have a soft spot for you
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Katara ≈
-jealous jealous jealous girl
-love splashing you with water just to bother you
-runs her fingers through your hair at night to calm both of you down
-embarrassed when you catch her singing
-she hates it when you leave a mess
-super cuddly when tired
-loves stupid nicknames
-'whatever you say, princess.' 'what did you just call me?'
-loves telling stories you've heard 1000 times over and over again
-SUPER big hugger
-will elbow you when she can sense you're annoying someone
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Toph ᨒ
-will always find a way to wind in an argument
-constantly using being blind as an excuse
-'i can't clean up the mess if i CAN'T SEE IT.'
-super giggly when you tell jokes, but only when its you
-jumps around with joy when she hears that you're gonna be joining the gaang on a mission
-hates when you hold her in your arms because she can't feel the floor
-women with deep voices make her weak in the knees (fem)
-unsurprisingly, fighting is one of her love languages -- she likes competing with her favorite people
-loves when you tell a story in detail, especially the juicy ones
-holds your hand whenever walking somewhere
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Suki ❀
-loves spending time outdoors (picnic dates, walks, exploring)
-she loves putting you in makeup because you look ridiculous (masc)
-very inexperienced when it comes to romance
-'why are you kissing my neck? That's not where my lips are..'
-loses things CONSTANTLY and always makes you help her look for it
-loves dancing with you
-pathological liar, but only when it comes to stories
-'one time, i saw the unaki eat a child.'
-listening to rain and cuddling in front of a window makes her feel so happy
-loves taking care of children with you, and looks forward to having kids
-loves your corny jokes
...
BONUS!!
Sexuality headcannons..
Aang: unlabeled
he just sorta loves who he loves
Sokka: Bisexual with a preference for women
Says hes a ladies man, but will fall for a boy from time to time (*cough cough* zukka)
Zuko: Gay
Im sorry ladies but just LOOK AT HIM.
Katara: Pansexual
I love kataang with my whole heart so i couldn't really see her with anyone else, but if Aang wasn't in the picture she'd date a few girls
Toph: Lesbian
like cmonnnnn
Suki: Straight
im sorry but im a sucker for strong straight females
548 notes · View notes
nexusnyx · 1 year
Text
keep close | part III
Joel Miller x F!Reader [8.3k] summary: Joel was never a man of religion—thinking about the enormity of everything was not for him, but he understood the concept. Devotion. An other-worldly comfort in something, or a place. Joel had never, on the other hand, experienced religion. As he lifts his touch from your hands to explore the rest of your body, Joel is blessed, and this is holy. The air around him sizzles with everything existing between you two. 📝 This is the final part of this little story, and I hope it meets the expectations. If you enjoy it, reblogs and comments make all the difference. warnings⚠️ mature content—explicit depictions of sex, so minors dni. | 🏷️ soft!joel (he is, deep, deep inside, okay?), bathing together, slow undressing, deep talks, first time, dirty talk, begging, fingering, guided orgasm (yes, Joel Miller does walk you through it), penetration (p in v).
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← part two | masterlist
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Joel wished he felt comfortable in his skin.
He remembers there was a time when he did. He used to have a lighter step, lighter touch, lighter eyes.
All his edges feel sharp now, even to him—silver like steel, or the hair that glinted at him from every reflection as a reminder of why, and up until some time ago, he'd kept up a good shell. An exoskeleton of great thickness that kept him going with minimum blows to the skin.
Until a while ago, he had no reason to try being anything other than this.
Being this kept him alive, but—it would also keep him away. From Ellie. From you.
He wanted to be close to you. Closer than he admitted to himself for a long time.
As close as physics would allow, and even then, it wouldn't be enough.
He thinks about all that as he puts Ellie to bed.
Not that he calls it that. Or, god forbid, you did.
Ellie claims to be grown enough to live all on her own if it came to be, and yet, she somehow always ended up 'awakening' sometime in the night. Joel lost count of how many late-night conversations with you had been interrupted by that sight: her short, teenage frame being outlined in the darkness standing stiff and awkward, right before she blurted, "I keep hearing... you know."
Their noises.
Ellie's nightmares were about their noises. One day, you simply got up, took a deep breath, and said, "C'mon, let's go back to bed, I think you need just need some company. We can talk, if you want. Or not.."
No one — not you, not Joel — called it 'putting her to bed' because Ellie was grown, and 'far from a kid' already, as she'd put it. She didn't need some grown person talking to her until she falls asleep. It's just nice, she said. It's just soothing, because according to Ellie, they — the grown-ups — have a tendency of forgetting the 'younger folk need some stimulating conversation too, man'.
How could someone not love this kid?
Joel watches her sleeping body for a few moments. He places and tucks the blankets around her to keep her warm, and closes the door on his way out.
He hated to admit how magnetic she was at the start. It was so difficult to accept the sharp wit and horrible jokes were simply her. A part of her, born embedded in her genes just like a lack of patience, or straight hair.
When Joel opens the door to the bathroom, he's greeted by steam.
The whole place is still covered in it despite the hour of dinner.
He sees you sitting in front of the bathtub, and proudly announces. "Miss I don't need a lullaby today asked me to tell her a story," his eyes feel yours on him as he takes off his jacket.
He hears the scoff. "She's been asking me that all week," you answer with a tone that says you're behind, old man, "And she even threw the 'make them good stories, too—I don't want any boring, pg-13 rated shit.'"
"The army teaches shitty manners," he takes off the flannel jacket too and starts unlacing his boots. "She woke me up with a wet finger in my ear once. D'you know how long it's fuckin' been since someone did that? Decades. It's been literal decades."
"I think you meant to say the army doesn't teach them any manners," you say. "And hey—at least that's kind. You, on the other hand—"
"Oh, here we go," he laughs.
"—you decide to wake people by saying their name. Announcing their name, in that deep, Odin-inspired vibrato that already gives them a heart attack, and then you just," you blow raspberries in the air. "Fuck off."
He laughs. Tries his best to keep the volume low because he knows better, but laughing and kicking off his boots feels amazing.
None of you have showered since the attack.
A week was a gross amount of time to spend without a washing rag and hot water rubbing every inch of your skin, but the poor unfortunate truth of living in an apocalyptical world remained almost natural now—it was not weird to happen. Just gross.
Cleaning yourselves to the best of your lonesome abilities when there are bruises littering almost every member of your body is also a challenging task.
He's done poorly in his, and he wished bashfulness still existed somewhere in his bones for him to feel sorry about it. Instead, Joel let his body fall back with only a layer or two of clothes left in him and laid on his back on the floor.
He says, "I can't believe I'm gonna shower," fully expecting some witty remark back.
A joke. A jab. Anything other than— "Joel."
A soft, single whisper. Joel's head whips in your direction, and he almost gets up in an electric shock—your curled-up position awakens his instincts of 'cradle, cover, protect'.
Scared. Had he made a mistake? Had he jumped the gun and done something too fast? Something wrong?
Before he can jump to any conclusions, you add. "I'm gonna say this in a single breath 'cause I'm feeling oddly stupid about it and the rational, intelligent parts of my brain that know this means absolutely nothing can't find a single argument back for the question then why the hell do I still feel like every inch of my skin is a part of my insides..." you breathe in deep, and lift your head, tilting your chin high. Your eyes make sure to meet his. "I—," you choke on it once, and Joel witnesses as the blush rises from your neck, painting like watercolor its way up your skin. "I never... did anything. Nothing that went beyond sad, pathetic displays of.. what I can only call 'making out'," you laugh, humorless. "God, I feel like a fucking idiot."
"You're not," he affirms. He might be failing faintish, and his body may be running hotter than the insides of a volcano, but he'll be fine. "You tell me anythin' you wanna tell me, and I'll listen. And if you want to—"
"Don't," you interrupt him. "Don't take it back," your eyes shine at him. Don't take back your offer because it would hurt. It would kill me. "Please."
Joel would do anything you asked. "I won't."
You smile. "Thank you," you say softly. After another deep breath, you go on. "I wanted to tell because... It's only fair you know. Considering—" you swallow visibly around the word, and his body mimics the action as if you and he are your own hive of two, "I've thought about this. A lot, Joel."
A lot, Joel.
"Jesus Christ," he exhales, feeling the air punched out of his chest. He looks away from the earnestness on your face.
"And whether it's because a first impression always stays or not, I don't know, but I'm gonna remember."
And so would he.
Joel gets up from the form, his body now released from the imaginary chains that kept him bound to his place as you said your peace, and makes his way up the step to where the bathtub is and you're sitting on the floor.
It hits him that he's kissed you, and you've kissed back, and Joel's free to do it again.
The thought is what makes him sit right back you, pulling you in direction of his chest. You go easily, and it melts him more than the prospect of hot water on his body sometime soon.
"I thought you'd be happy I opened my mouth instead of stewing on stuff and keepin' it to myself and, y'know," he saw above your shoulders the way your hands did movements all over the place, and he laughed on your neck. "Didn't think you'd be this cuddly, though."
Joel rubs the bottom of his face on your skin just for that comment, enjoying feeling you squirm. "You opening your mouth is never a problem," he bites back with amusement.
"Callin' me blabbermouth?"
"Callin' you straight spoken," he corrects. "Precise."
"Awn, shucks—thanks, man," the sarcasm in your voice makes him groan. He's surrounded by smartasses, and it pains him. The laughter is nice, though; Joel guesses there are worst things than spending winter locked in a mountain cabin with someone who makes him laugh at the end of the world.
Sure, he is bruised and so many things are not right with humankind, but—not here.
He won't think about that now.
It's not his weight, just for these moments.
When you're done laughing, your body sags inside his hold, melting like snow under the Sun. He drinks it all in. "I'm aware this will be good for wounds 'n all, but I hate that I know it's gonna hurt so much the first couple of minutes that it makes me want to postpone it. What's another week without a proper shower, right?"
"Hell."
"Yeah, but so will be submersing our bodies in this," you point at the tub.
"At least it's together?" Joel offers.
Your head resting on his chest tilts up until you can look at him properly, and he's always thankful for the opportunity of seeing you smile. "That was cheesy," you whisper.
Once more, Joel sighs. He's smiling, but—it sounded so damn cute. Cheesy, accused between the lips that formed that teasing smirk, that mouth that—
Joel hates missing things.
He writes down in his mind that he will never miss your mouth; he'll always have it. If he wants it, he'll take it, and so he does.
Your face is angled, waiting for a hand of his to cup it and guide it toward his lips.
Kissing you is better than most things Joel's mind still clung to as the ones worth living for.
His personal favorite, the sun hitting skin for the first time after a long winter—it felt like that, but better.
He felt a tingle in his spine when you melted on him, prompting him to kiss harder—Joel starts moving his lips on yours and is granted with you following his lead like in the kitchen; you open up so well for him. You follow the rhythm of his tongue, and it makes it feel easy when he knows that's far from the truth.
When he pulls back, Joel thinks about what you said.
I never did anything.
Joel has to take deep breaths. You open your eyes after another heartbeat, and he's burdened with the silly need to kiss your entire face, so he does.
First the lips again. Then the cheeks, and the nose next, and you start giggling when he moves to your forehead, whispering, "tickles, Joel," but he doesn't care. There are the temples, and finally the chin, and—he exhales, smiling content at himself.
He looks ahead to the tub. It's a soaking type, made of dark wood he's almost sure comes from the forest surrounding them right now. "You think we'll fit in there?" he asks.
He feels your head moving to look, too. "It's made to fit two adults, I think."
"Ellie said it was the best bath she's had since she left the school," he shares.
Your hum of approval makes him realize just how hard this task is going to be—pun not intended but well applied. "She really needed one."
"We all do," he scoffs. Reluctantly, Joel lets go of your body to get up and finish undressing. He sees the two wood buckets you used to heat up water for Ellie's bath are full again, so he asks. "You heated up more water? Why?"
You pierce him with a are you kidding me, look. "Joel."
"Yes?"
"We need a wash, rinse, and repeat. I don't know about you, but I feel gross. Disgusting. Crusty—"
"Okay, okay," he interrupts, bursting into laughter. "I got you. You can stop tryna seduce me," he says while standing up.
Even though there's steam, he knows your blush is from him. For him. "Wasn't trying to," you argue with no heat. Smiling.
Joel is so fucked. "Really? All that sweet-talking about how much you stink had no goal?"
Your response is only a roll of the eyes, and Joel starts unbuttoning his shirt. "Hmm. Could've sworn it got me here showering with ya."
"You offered," you laugh, and then—your gaze lifts, sees what Joel is doing, and lowers, twice more bashful than before. "There was no seducing involved."
He groans in response. "Nope. 'm pretty sure your mouth was on mine. That's seducing," he states. "Hey," he calls. Your eyes find his. "You can look, 'yknow? 's nothing you won't be seein' in a second." Joel would say 'it's nothing special' but he knows you well enough. You'd hate hearing it, you'd fight him on it, so he thinks on his words. "If you want to," he adds, because fucking hell.
You do look up.
The second he feels your gaze on him, Joel's lifetime insecurities reappear from the shadows, birthing all over again like a flair under his skin.
He's okay. 5"11' of scars covering inner demons always on a battlefield, veins of whiskey, and a chest that he swore up and down would die empty.
It feels hot now. Occupied.
The shirt comes off, then the white tank top that's more a rag than a piece of clothing by now, and he only musters enough courage to look at you again as he unbuckles his belt.
The permission didn't prepare him to see you staring.
Gazing, checking him out with eyes as thirsty and obvious as a starving person being presented with a plate of their favorite food.
Joel swallows thickly around the knot that forms in his throat.
He wants to say something, but instead, he just undresses.
He wouldn't know what to say.
Joel didn't want things for two decades. He wants so much now that he feels like his body could vibrate at a frequency that would break glass.
His pants fall on the floor, and Joel stands there only in his underwear.
You swallow visibly, too. Then you look up into his eyes and say, "Permission to share a weird thought?"
That got his curiosity. You two loved sharing weird thoughts — no judgment, that was the rule — and he sees you nodding.
You start undoing your clothes as well. "You know that feeling of being so comfortable around a person 'cause they make you feel like you can be yourself?"
"Yeah."
"I always had that with you," you say. Joel removes his underwear with a single motion and tries to push down the feeling of hotness climbing up his chest. "And... I don't know if it's post-apocalyptical shit or not, but, d'you feel like you have a hunger that could never be fulfilled, ever again?"
Joel sits back down while he waits. "I do," he answers. "About everything, right?"
"Yes!" your exclamation is earnest. You get it. "I'll never satisfy any of it," you conclude. "That same feeling—that despair that a decadent world creates in you... it made me look at you and think 'I wanna bury myself in him' because—it brought me comfort? I hope that's not a too weird thought, I don't wanna freak you out or anything, but..." you shrug. He sees you trying to gather the words, and waits. "I just always had this.... feeling, this thing where I looked at you, and you're so broad, and tall, and strong," you shiver, and Joel feels his body twitching in response, "I wanted to get under your skin. Just... make myself all cozy inside you. That's probably some weird, mother-issue kind of thing, but."
It makes him laugh.
Joel looks down at himself for a second because taking in what you said and watching more of your skin become visible made his throat dry and his hands itch. "Trust me," he says. "You're under my skin."
Despite already being naked, Joel feels he peeled off another layer just with those words.
"You ready to go in?" He doesn't check for how you took the confession. He'd never said anything close to it that if he thought about it too long or too hard, something inside him would burst. "It's gonna hurt."
It takes a second for you to answer, and he's already up and dipping his legs inside when you do. "Good to know."
Nothing more than a soft whisper, and it heats up his insides better than the water.
Joel hisses in pain as his body submerges. While he alone occupies a good portion of the tub, you'll fit. A tight fit. Another knot forms in his throat.
There's the faint sound of clothing pieces hitting the floor and when he looks to the side, you're like he is—naked.
Vulnerable.
Just like him, you do it in one go, submerging your body despite the pain of the still-throbbing wounds. Your face scrunches in pain, which is the only reason he can focus on something else other than your legs touching his underwater.
The rag used for bathing is hung on the tub—clean, dry, washed.
He picks it up as you throw some water on your shoulders, and thinks about how much of you he'd like to know still.
So he asks. "Can I start?" He'd never be able to focus on something else with your hands on his body—washcloth separating the touch or not.
"You—you're actually gonna—uhm. Bathe me?"
"That's the idea, yeah. Unless you don't want me—"
"I do!" you interrupt. "I just—I thought you were only gonna clean my wounds."
There's not much space to move around now that you two are sitting, but he can move.
"No," Joel dips the cloth in the water and grabs the soap bar outside the tub. "Can you turn around for me?" He needs to find his guts first. If you're facing him, Joel will just gaze. Desire. Distract himself. "Wanna start with your back."
"'kay."
When you turn, Joel's mind goes blank.
Here he is, sharing a tub with the one person who's made him feel more human than anything else, and all he can do is long for.
His worries as he walked to the bathroom involved discomfort or tension. There's none to be found, even in the silence.
Joel sees your hair all tied up and wished he was the one to do it. "Aren't you gonna wash your hair?" he asks, and his hands start to work.
"One thing at a time, don't you think?" you chuckle. "If I was gonna do that I'd have to heat up another bath."
"Just for the hair?"
"Just for the hair. Ask El, doing this shit nowadays is a nuisance."
"I'll take your word for it," he's careful with his hands. There aren't many open wounds on your body, only splashes of purple, green, yellow, and blue. A Monet painting. "Please tell me if I hurt you."
There's a moment of silence before you answer, "You couldn't." It's the softest he's ever heard your voice, and he hears the confidence and truth in it. You don't believe he could hurt you. You're a hundred percent right, of course, but hearing it still soothes him. "But I will," you add, turning your face around to give him a smile.
Instead of returning it, Joel leans forward and kisses the lips that continue to do it—every time you confess thoughts and feelings buried in you, Joel feels something stirring inside. Being born, maybe. Growing.
You lean back to the kiss, and suddenly, your back is touching his chest. Joel makes sure to keep his hips propped against the bathtub so this is about what he said more than what he wants, but this is now his favorite position.
When you pull back, Joel feels himself smiling.
Opening his eyes, he finds you staring.
"It'll hurt when I wash that knife wound," he remembers.
Your eyebrows pierce together, recalling the gash you have on your left side. "It'd hurt more if it were days ago?"
It's offered like leverage. He takes it. "Brave one," he states. So much braver and smarter than he'll ever be—someone who still has the courage to feel what she feels and say it.
Joel hopes it'll rub off on him.
"You're the brave one," you counter. "You know... I think you never told me about what you did before all this."
He frowns. "No?"
You shake your head. Joel adds more soap to the cloth and starts washing your arms, "I used to work construction."
"Did you like it?" your body is loose in his hold. Joel holds up one of your hands and washes it slowly, back and forth, like he'll do to every part of you.
"I did. I think there's something to be said about building a home. About building good structures, y'know?"
As he cleans your body and wounds, the questions keep on coming, and he keeps on delivering answers.
For your arms, you ask about his work, and who he worked with. Joel takes note of every scar you have on your body, curious as to whether they came before or after the outbreak.
When he moves to your back and chest, you ask him about what he used to enjoy. He talks about it—trips with his brother, barbecues with friends and family, a nice and peaceful week at a distant country somewhere where he barely speaks the language, but he can get to know different cultures and people.
Joel stops when he sees the tattoo of a date under your right boob, trying his hardest to ignore the desire to squeeze what's in front of him.
Not the time. Bathe first, feel it later.
"Whose birthday is it?" he asks, putting the tip of his finger on it.
You stay silent, so he keeps on moving. He slides his hand underwater to your leg, and palming its way down your thigh and calf, he grabs hold of your foot; he's analyzing for any wounds but finds none, so he starts washing your legs.
When the answer comes, Joel's hand stops for a moment.
"It was—," your choked-up voice pulls his eyes to your face, and the sorrow he finds there makes him ache. "Oh, god."
A choked-up laughter. No humor to it, and a thousand ghosts on your face tell him he's about to hear something that'll change him again.
"You don't have to—" he starts, but you raise a hand asking for silence, for give me a second, and he stops. As long as you want to.
"We never talked about the 26th," you state. He goes back to washing your legs, shaking his head. "Can I?"
"Yeah."
"I was—" you breathe in deep, and look at him again searching for something. "I never told this to anyone."
Joel nods. "I never talk about it, too."
"It doesn't help, does it?" Your eyes are red-rimmed, and Joel notices there's much about you he never figured out. You're younger than him by a lot, but you were there.
"No." Sirens, flares of green light, and the cracking cacophony of screams and shots still wake him up almost daily. "No, it doesn't."
"I miss talking about him," you whisper to him. A tear slides down your face, and it cuts him.
Who does she miss? "Who do you miss?"
He's moved onto the other leg when you answer. "I was at my best friend's house on the twenty-sixth. She was working double shifts at the hospital to pay for—," you stop.
Joel can only take so much. He pulls you close until your face is resting on his shoulder, and he feels his eyes stinging.
He gets that. Sometimes saying a name was too much.
It took months before you heard of Sarah, and her name was all you got until now.
"Take your time," he says.
"Caio needed new glasses." Your arms wrap around Joel's middle, and he knows you'll be staying in his arms until the tale's over.
"Caio," he repeats. Recalling the roman numbers, he adds. "January twenty-five."
"Yeah. He—Caio broke his on his solo mission to find fossils in my backyard—well, technically my dog Diana was responsible, but he always said 'don't blame her, Gumma, she only wants to kiss me', so we said it was his fault."
"Gumma? Who's Gumma?"
"I am," you laugh. "He couldn't say 'godmother when he was born, so he shortened it. He told everybody I was Gumma, his s-second mommy."
Joel tightens his hold on you, suddenly very aware that he's shaking.
"He was sick," you go on. "So no school for him that day. Which means I was there. I could work from home, so Milla always called me."
"Was it just her?"
You nod on his shoulder. Joel starts rubbing his hand all over your back and he could never tell if it was for your comfort or his.
Both, probably.
"We raised him, basically," you sniffle. "Milla and I lived on the same street. She was basically disowned for her teenage pregnancy, so I told her parents they were always shitty at their job, and that unlike them, I knew what family meant, and that we didn't need them. If she wouldn't, I might as well."
Joel smiles at that. "Sounds like you."
"We moved, worked shitty jobs, and lived together for the most part. My parents helped us with bills for the most part of the first years. When—when Caio turned eleven, my parents paid for the coolest party. And—I'll never forget it, 'cause it was the last one he had, so..."
Eleven.
Joel buries his face and tears on the curve of your neck.
"So on the twenty-sixth, I was at home with him all day. Fucking hell, how unfair is that? That I got all those hours with him and—" the way you burrow your face on his throat makes Joel wish he could make you live under his skin. Protected from everything. Even memories. "When everything started going wrong, Milla was still at the hospital. She called twenty-three minutes before all signals went out to tell me that something was wrong, very wrong and that she felt we needed to go somewhere safe. She said 'babe, I want you to think of nothing else but getting to safety, d'you hear me? Go to Mr. Nunqua's house, he has a safety bunker there—go, and take Caio. I'll find you there."
Joel listens to the rest of the tale with his heart in his hands.
You got there, but Mr. Nunqua was already infected.
He was the first person you killed. His wife was the second.
You managed to get both you and Caio to the bunker, safe and sound, but it wasn't enough.
It never is.
Caio being Infected was a crueler end than anything Joel's mind came up with.
"He realized it, Joel. He noticed something was wrong, and—"
It takes a few more moments before you can finish what he already expected. "He asked me to make the pain stop before he could hurt me. He said 'please don't let me hurt you, Gumma'."
Milla found you cradling his body in your arms hours later, and that was the last you two saw of each other.
He lets you take your time to feel better before he pulls your face back to look at it.
The pink cheeks and eyes hurt him, but when he kisses your face, your lips, all he can think is how proud he is of you.
"Can I do you now?" you ask, pulling your hand out of the water in a request for the cloth.
He hands it to you, and watches as you do the same routine as he did.
In return, he asks you all types of questions.
He thought it would be hard to concentrate with your hands on him, but they're so dainty and careful that Joel feels transcendental.
No one ever took care of him like this.
Even the lovers that he once showered with, it was never this intimate.
In the bruises where he hisses in pain, you kiss somewhere else in a soothing manner. His shoulder, the nape of his neck, his outreached arm.
When the question comes, Joel is waiting for it, but he's not ready.
You answer the question about the places you've been and he replies with, "Oh, Sarah always wanted to go there. India."
"Did she?"
It's such a simple answer.
It locks him up the same. His muscles become tense, and his head shakes almost on its own.
I can't do it. He wished to be strong like you but talking about her hurts. "It hurts to talk about her. I don't—I can't."
He expects a nod, or a change of subject.
What he gets instead is you cupping his face in his hands and looking at every inch of his face.
"I know it hurts," you state. Joel, for the first time, believes someone. We raised him. You know how it feels, you do. Which is why what comes next blindsides him. "But Joel—she's already gone. I never thought I was gonna be able to speak about him with someone who understood, but—here you are. We cant—are you going to let her be forgotten, too?"
Bullets hurt less.
His body reacts for him—the inhale is shaky, almost frail. Your words hit harder than shots, but that's okay, because your inquisitive mind and sharp tongue were a couple of the reasons why he went back for you.
It was needed.
"I—" you start. Stop. Joel looks up at you, breathing out the air stuck inside his lungs, and wills himself to breathe. "You know..." your voice is quiet. "I think higher... beings or whatever—that does exist, 'cause—" your laugh is humorless. "I would totally be dead because of my stupid mouth if my path had crossed with anyone else but you."
Now he gets the lack of humor—a sad statement, but never untrue. Not even a hyperbole. Joel nods, "I'd say it's because you say things that you shouldn't, but it's the opposite. And most people don't like that."
I'm not most people, he thinks.
Thank you for saying what you did, is left unsaid. He sees in your eyes that you heard it loud and clear.
"What I'm saying is... you don't have to be ready now, but—" when you lean, his eyes close on instinct, but the kiss lands on his cheek. Sweet. Saccharine. "Please know that you can. When you want to."
He nods.
After a deep breath, you look at all of him. "I think we're clean. Next round?"
The tub is emptied, filled up again, and Joel thinks about how right you are, and how often.
The second shower will be perfect. He's clean now, but when he sits back down on clean water, it feels different.
He groans, and you laugh in response. "I know, right?"
Joel liked it better when you were fitting your bodies against each other.
The water in the tub seems to carry the tension of what you two have been waiting for. Conducting the electricity in each other's thoughts.
"What now?" you ask.
Joel knows what now. "C'mere," he pats his chest.
Like a well-oiled machine, you spin around and fit yourself against him in a second.
This time, Joel pulls you close until you're basically on his lap.
"Now this," he answers. To feel. "I think I had a dream like this once when we were camping."
"What?!"
He likes how shock always makes you look at him, even if it means craning your neck in the worst positions. He laughs. "Yeah. It was a river instead of a cool tub in a forest cabin, though."
"There's no way you—" words are cut sharp, and your eyes widen. "You did! Oh my god, you actually did. You avoided looking at my face all day for two days after that, I thought I'd done something wrong!"
He takes the hit you land on his shoulder with a smile. "You did. You sunk a knife in the middle of an Infected's head and kept me from dying."
What else could he say?
Joel shrugs. "It was hot."
He likes how you can look shy even sitting on his lap, feeling all of his body. "You're crazy," you laugh, looking down.
"Mmm. And don't you forget it," he kisses your shoulder, and that's it—that's all both of you needed to wish for more.
Your hand comes to cover both of his, and Joel is giddy with excitement when you guide his hands from your middle to your breasts.
It's silent permission. An invite.
It's all he needs.
"Can I make you feel good?" he kisses right under your ear and nuzzles his nose right there, goosebumps rising on his skin in response to your full-body shiver.
The next touches are bathed in silence.
The only sounds in the room come from the water moving with each move of both your bodies, and the soft exhale that escapes your lips.
Joel doesn't think about how long it's been since—everything feels like a first time.
A rekindle of sorts.
The hands you guided to your boobs stay there for a few moments, getting a feel of their size, their softness, how perfect they feel in his hands.
Your head drops to his shoulder, chin tilted upwards, eyes closed.
Joel thinks he's dreaming.
The faint pain in some places of his body is the only indication he has of reality.
Nothing else matters when you say, "Joel," so softly, so pleading.
"I'm here," he kisses the words on your skin. Your cheeks, temples, your shoulders that are right there. "I'm here, darlin'."
In the soft moans you let out, Joel plants a flag to signal his way home now every time he's lost in darkness.
The moans are so earnest and shaky that Joel starts trembling when you do. His hands move to explore your belly, and he pins the wound on your side as a reminder for later—it'll scar. He wants to kiss it better. Will kiss it until he's satisfied.
When his hands reach your waist, he imagines you feel his heart racing faster.
He takes his time with it, not only because you deserve it, but because it feels good.
Playing with the hair on your pussy feels good because it makes you whimper. Touching the folds with the tip of his fingers gets your legs to open a little wider until they're spread apart. Joel moans at the gesture and is gifted with another shiver. "Like this?" he asks, doing it again.
Tracing his fingertips up and down the folds.
"Joel," you grind against him, reminding him that he's here, and he's aching, too.
When you do it, your ass finds his cock hard as a rock, and it snuggles to grind on him, giving him the first feel of friction.
With another moan, Joel's lips are sucking on your earlobe. "Tell me what I do that feels good," he states.
Then he dips his fingers inside.
"No one's touched you here before?" his middle finger dips right into the core, applying pressure but not touching.
Your moans vibrate on his chest. "N-no one but me."
"Yeah?" the mental image makes him even harder. Joel thought that wasn't even possible anymore. "Did you finger yourself a lot?"
You nod frantically, pushing your hips forward, seeking more of his touch.
"Did it feel this good?" he moves his middle and ring finger up until they find your clitoris, and he starts rubbing circles on it; he pinches it, measures it with his knuckles, plays with it.
Maybe that's why you don't answer.
He'll take your moans as a good sign. Your chest is panting, and Joel feels a little drunk. He hasn't been drunk in years—no whiskey available for regular people will do that anymore; too diluted, too fake.
Your heavy breathing and nails sinking on his forearms get his mind hazy.
Joel kisses, licks, then sucks on your neck. "Talk to me, darlin'. I wanna know. I need to know."
"Joel," you say, but too loud. He uses his other hand to pinch your nipple, and the whimper you let out makes him twitch against your back.
"No screaming." Not this time. "I'm waitin' on your answer."
"I don't remember the question," you whine.
"Did it feel this good?" he pushes only one finger inside, and your mouth opens wide. Joel might not make it—it's so fucking tight and all he can think about is burying himself in it. All of him.
"Nonononono, it didn't, it didn't," you mumble.
It's a slow process, opening you up.
All the time, Joel talks in your ear about how good you're doing. "Taking my fingers so well, look at ya," he sounds drunk if he pays close attention. Two fingers fit in too tight, so Joel takes his time until he feels you opening up.
There's the grinding that never stops—the more Joel pushes his fingers in and out of you, the more you move in sync with his hand, grinding back up against him with every push inside.
It's torture. He loves every second of it.
"I want more," you whine at some point.
Joel was so lost appreciating the view of your chest painted red that he missed when you whispered his name the first couple of times.
He checks it—buries his fingers up until his knuckles, massages the spots inside of you that make you curl your toes and pull your knees up higher.
"Please," you beg.
He likes the sound of it, but he'll leave that for later.
The third finger is easier than the second—Joel feels how slick you are. He knows water bodies are not the best places for penetration, but he values your comfort more than anything right now, and in here you're both warm. At ease.
When his name starts falling from your lips like a song, Joel knows it's coming.
His other hand keeps traveling through your body—grabbing at your neck, pinching the hardened nipples of your gorgeous tits, palming through your stomach.
If his lips left your skin for longer than a minute, Joel thinks it's too much. "Yeah, yeah, I know, darlin', it's climbing up, isn't it?" he thinks addiction can be so easy. Your whines are necessary now for him, no matter what. "I wanna see it so badly." His voice had never been this low. Hoarse like sandpaper, and so filled with lust. "You're all ready for me now, d'you feel it?"
All three fingers are buried until the knuckles. Scissoring them open, pumping them against your walls in search of that spot inside you that makes you shake—Joel can barely breathe.
"D'you want more than this? Hm? 'Cause I'm in heaven, darlin'," he tells you. "All I need is to see you let go now. I can't believe I'll be the lucky fucker that gets to see you fall apart."
"Joel, I want more—want all of it, please, please—"
"I'll give it to you, I will." He'd give you anything. "You can have anything you ask me, anythin'."
"Harder—please, please, please—oh! Fuck, like that, like that, Joel."
"You sound so good moaning my name I'm gonna fuckin' lose my mind," he growls. "Do it. Cum on my fingers. Cum for me."
Joel marveled with every shake of your body. He closed his eyes and kissed the part of yours that was the closest. Your legs clamped shut around his hand, thighs shaking. At least this time, you remembered to muffle your sounds on him.
In his neck, you bit down the whispers of his name. Whimpers. Ohs,
He waited for the impossible grip to ease before he thumbed a grazing touch over your clit—just to check; to feel.
"Want more," you kissed his neck, and there was no need for all that honey in your voice, really.
Joel drank it, anyway. Licked it clean from your lips, and drowned in the way you and the water seemed to wrap him in.
"We gotta get outta the water, baby," says Joel. "'s not a good idea we do it in here."
You stopped kissing his neck, your hips stopped their motion and the little look around you at the room makes Joel's stomach feel funny. He feels almost suffocated with this need to kiss all over the red on your face.
"Uhm—are we... here?"
Joel never thought he'd live to see the day you would avoid the word 'fuck', but he smiled at it. "No, darlin', we should get dry. Put our clothes on. We can finish this in the room, right?"
You lick your lips, and then his. You bite his bottom lip, sucking it into yours, and Joel is fucked.
He melts, too. All over you, on your fingertips caressing his cheeks, on your chest pressing against his, and on the depths of your eyes as you stare deeply into his.
"'kay," you whisper. "Let's go."
Joel helps you out and loves to watch the way you gravitate toward him. When you whisper, "Do we have to put on our clothes?"
He wraps you in the towel instead of answering, and pulls you to his chest again. "Body warmth, remember?" Just for good measure, he puts the other one around him, collects all the clean clothes you had bought, and then looks at you.
"Hop on," he nudges your waist with his hands, and you get exactly what he means; your legs wrap around his middle and your arms stay firm around his neck. Joel holds you with a satisfied grunt, "atta girl."
The warmth of all of this has a price.
Joel knows it as he walks you to the room you two share, as he closes the door behind you both, as he lays your bodies on the joined mattresses, and pulls the winter blanket over your bodies.
It'd be more than a steep price.
Something on the figures of what he signed off when he took the job from Marlene—when he took Ellie out of her fingers.
Those dotted lines he signed with a blind eye. Unaware of what he was agreeing to until he Ellie's life faced danger and all the moments of every single awful joke she told, her smart jabs and the braveness in her bones to risk her life for him came back like a slap to the face, and Joel was crushed under the enormous weight of it all.
He accepted it, even if he still couldn't say it.
With you, it was almost the same.
He signed the dotted lines when he came back for you.
He couldn't know, wouldn't dream of knowing what he had signed up for until the time he ordered you to keep close and you answered with: "Always. El, you know it—between us."
Seven words, and Joel thought of nothing else for days.
Always.
For months, you never left his side.
Abided by his temper, shortness, curt words.
Spoke through his darkness and whiskey, reaching out to him the same way you did with Ellie—pulling from deep within the part of him that was still alive. Truly human.
When Joel touches all of you covered under a blanket, he wills his eyes to stay shut because if he opens them, they'll sting.
He feels too much, and it's never enough. The taste of your skin is sewn along with lines of fear, the acidic and familiar taste of I can't do it. I can't lose this. I can't lose you.
He kisses every inch.
Joel licks his name out off your lips every time they come out.
He nuzzles his face like an animal trying to imprint scent all over—from your neck all the way down to the inside of your thighs you'll have beard burns and it's okay, because you ask for them.
In the quiet, you two say so much.
Joel asked you, "you gotta keep quiet, baby, we can't be loud," and you listened, because you're so good. He says it, too. "So good, baby... you're so good," and listens to you reply with,
"You're so good, Joel. So good."
He soaks it all up until it's all mixed in his veins.
The price of hearing your sinful whisper in his ear is high. "Need you inside me," you brand in his skin. "Please, Joel?"
Joel would close his eyes and see those words—he wants to burn them behind his eyelids since they're so loud they erase everything else from his brain for a while.
He fingers you some more to double-check if you're ready and he has to talk, because, "You're so fuckin' wet, darlin', my god," he whispers in your ear, and your nails clawing at his back, digging into his skin tell him to hurry. "All this for me?"
"Please stop torturin' me," you whisper back, sounding like you're about to cry.
It's torture for both of you, so Joel lines up. He teases you with his cock, gliding his shaft between your lips, coating it in the slick that's dripping down your legs, and whispers, "You want it?"
"Joel," you growl at him.
Joel pushes in with a smile on his face and has his face scrunched in a silent smile when he slips inside. It's a tight fit at first, and Joel has to stop midway. He has to breathe.
"'m gonna go slow, 'kay?" He does. He pulls almost all the way out, and slowly pushes in again, feeling you tense around him, "Breathe, baby, you gotta breathe for me."
"Joel," you whisper. Around his cock, your cunt pulses, and he curses under his breath. You bury your whole face in his face and moan. "s big," you moan. "Feels so good."
He's only a man, you see—Joel's hands are supporting his weight on each side of your face, and they tremble.
He has to drop to his forearms and elbows, caging your body underneath his. "Breathe really deep for me, baby," he whispers, and you do it. "Close your eyes now, and relax."
The price of having you all to himself is one Joel never could afford, but one he'll spend each day of his life doing everything in his possession to pay.
His whole body shakes as you open up for him. It's a blossoming—Joel feels it around his cock the moment your body relaxes and you feel it.
Your legs wrap around him tighter.
"Move," you whisper.
So he does.
He's deeply in debt.
Joel gets lost in the feeling of how warm and tight you are around his cock, and it makes him drunk. It makes him feel like you're wrapped all around him, and Joel never fucked like this.
He could've gone a century without sex and he would remember;
Nothing felt like this.
No desire or lust or bodies aligning ever made him move this slowly, with this much pace; Joel's back must become a mural of claws being sharpened by the time you beg him to go faster, to push harder.
"'m not gonna break Joel, for fuck's sake, please," you beg as he kisses your lips and fucks you leisurely, and it registers.
Through the thick fog of everything that this is, he listens to it, and he gives it to you.
Joel has no idea how he lasts this long.
When you cum for him, it's not even because he's fucking you. He's more like imprinting the memory of your velvety touch all around him, pushing deep and hard as he caresses the sweat off your face, and he's telling you all that his lust-drunken mind is thinking off.
"Didn't think—could feel this good, darlin'." His pauses are his thrusts, and he wonders if you're listening to any of it, or is just lost on the sound of his voice. He knows you like it. "You like—the sound of my voice—don't you, baby? I know you do." Thurst—and deep, and fuck, "I'm—so fuckin' lucky—look at you—look at how good—god, you're gonna kill me, baby—"
He dies a little death when he feels you start shaking.
All you.
His name spills from your lips and your nails dig in deeper than ever before, and that's what does it, what drops the pin and makes the ball of knotted tension that kept him high burst—Joel has only the notion to pull out before he cums, but he cums so hard that he loses sense of everything for a moment or two.
Your hands are soothing his face when he comes back to it.
Joel feels like a whole person for just those hours with you in the dark.
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With you, he realized something—while Joel's skin may offer him little comfort, yours does.
The soothing peace that comes with feeling that again, comfort, makes Joel breathe out and close his eyes without his chest tied in one big knot for the first time since... it. He is alive. However that came to be, or why, he'll never know, but your words are a mantle of truth that can start bringing peace to his inner war of two continuous decades now—he can either keep living and burying everything: Existence, hopes, feelings, love, memories, her, her—Sarah;
or... he can live.
Joel wants to live. With Ellie, with you. He pulls you closer, and focuses one last second to hear the certain sound of Ellie's pencil furiously creating something on paper across the thin wall, and he sleeps.
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📝 So. I gave the old man some love and some peace (that he deserves) because I watched him lose yet another person this Sunday and I was hurt. What did you guys think? :)
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mysteryshoptls · 7 days
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SSR Silver - Platinum Jacket Vignette
"Happy 100th Anniversary"
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[Land of Dawning – National Museum of Art]
Silver: The National Art Museum of the Land of Dawning is much larger than I had expected…
Silver: I would like to properly peruse every single work of art here. It would be nice if I do not drowse off…
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???: This is a painting of a prince and princess dancing hand-in-hand in the castle hall… What a beautiful sight. I can certainly see why it would be a well-known painting.
Silver: I know this painting well. This same scene was depicted in a book I used to read all the time when I was a child.
Azul: Oh, hello, Silver-san. Are you partial to this particular tale?
Silver: That's correct. Among the piles of picture books my father would bring home to me from his travels, there was one that held this story.
Silver: I had grown to admire the prince, who would fend off his foes with his sword, that I had read it countless times.
Silver: There was a time I thought that perhaps I could develop a training regimen off of this scene, so I attempted to dance as he did.
Azul: Hmhm, so you looked to emulate the prince from the story.
Silver: Yeah, at the time, I believed that in order to grow even stronger, I would also need to learn how to dance.
Silver: I would prepare a dressed log as my partner and spin around in circles…
Silver: I would practice tirelessly while some forest critters would look on.
Azul: You used a log as your partner…? Well, I suppose that would train up your muscles.
Silver: True, it may have resulted in some actual muscle training. And well, it did provide me with an opportunity to improve my dancing.
Azul: Eh!? Dancing with the log did?
Silver: Ah, no. My father saw I was trying to dance, and asked a certain person to teach me properly…
Silver: That person said, "A fine opportunity for you both to learn to dance." My father and I ended up both receiving instruction.
Silver: It was only for one day, but it was a fantastic lesson.
Azul: I wouldn't think that only a single day of practice would allow you to increase your dancing ability…
Silver: Do you think so? I always believed that I had improved much thanks to that single day.
Silver: I ended up having a wonderful time while dancing, and during the middle of it all, all of us couldn't help but laugh and enjoy ourselves.
Silver: Before I had realized it, we were standing beneath a starry night sky. We were having such a good time that none of us had noticed how much time had flown by.
Azul: Hm. Well, they do say that enjoying something is the quickest way to improve yours skillset, so perhaps that is why.
Silver: Yeah. Toward the end, my father started to dance some moves I had never seen before, so we tried practicing that as well.
Silver: But it was a rather difficult dance, with footwork and headbanging too quick for the eyes to follow. We did our best to follow but to no avail.
Azul: Footwork and… headbanging? I feel as though that has drifted further and further away from the prince's dance you were initially studying.
Silver: Not at all. I am sure that training also contributed to improving my dance ability.
Silver: I truly did feel thankful that I had received the lessons that I did, when I attended the party on campus.
Silver: If there is ever another opportunity in the future, I would like to be able to dance with everyone.
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[Land of Dawning – National Museum of Art]
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Silver: This is a painting of the Sea Witch. I heard that she would help merpeople in need… However...
Azul: It is also said that she would grow to enormous size in order to reprimand any merfolk who broke their contracts.
Azul: That she would strictly admonish dishonest people in order to better them just shows yet another aspect of her overwhelming compassion.
Silver: The strictness is to help them improve… Ah, I understand now.
Silver: Azul… I would like to ask you one thing, but are you any good at alchemy?
Azul: Alchemy? Yes, I would say it is one of my best subjects. What about it?
Silver: To tell you the truth… I do not do well in alchemy.
Silver: I have a hard time staying awake, not only in the lecture portions of the class, but also during practical applications…
Silver: I've over-heated ingredients, burnt cauldrons, and caused numerous other concoction failures.
Silver: If this were to continue, it could result in a terrible accident one day.
Silver: That is why I try to take more care in this class than I do in others… But I only continue to fail.
Azul: …I see? Well, that sounds like quite a predicament! If you'd like, I would happily listen to your woes!
Silver: So you'll hear me out? This is about what happened in alchemy class last week.
Silver: That day, I was able to weigh out the ingredients, adjust the heat properly, and even concocted the potion to the textbook specifications.
Silver: The final result was exactly what was asked of me.
Silver: I was even proud of myself for receiving a "Good Boy" from Crewel-sensei… Or so I thought.
Azul: Hmm…? But that's not the whole story, I presume?
Silver: Right. When I opened my eyes, there was no potion in my hands.
Silver: Instead, Crewel-sensei was standing before me with a furious look. "I see the little mongrel has finally awoken." He said.
Azul: Ah. I think I see where this is going.
Silver: I had fallen asleep again. My successful potion was all a dream.
Silver: In actuality, it seems I had almost fallen head-first into the cauldron as soon as we were to begin concocting the potion.
Silver: Crewel-sensei had decided that it would be dangerous to allow me to continue and carried me back to my seat…
Silver: And I was sound asleep until class ended.
Azul: It seems your drowsiness is a much more formidable foe than I had understood it to be…
Azul: I will gladly see if I can find any way for me to help!
Silver: It's enough for me that you were hear to listen. This is all due to my own shortcomings.
Silver: I'll have to take better care in the future so I may repay Crewel-sensei for his sincere admonishment.
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[Land of Dawning – National Museum of Art]
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Azul: Oh, my. There's a painting of the Lord of the Underworld on display here.
Silver: If I recall correctly, he would often use a board game map to plan and explain his strategies to his forces.
Silver: I wonder if board games are truly a useful way to share information?
Azul: Perhaps he, like myself, would use those board games to inspire new ideas.
Silver: Inspire new ideas…?
Azul: Board games can quickly change situations from turn to turn, which in turn allows one to cultivate their adaptability.
Azul: Not only is that a useful skill for everyday troubles, but also for business management.
Silver: I see… So it is a type of training in its own right. I can understand why the Lord of the Underworld used it as well, now.
Azul: If it piques your interest, why not come and visit the Board Game Club sometime? You would always be welcome.
Silver: Is that so…? True, there are often times that I've had to make snap decisions while performing my guard duties. It may be wise to stop by for a visit.
Silver: I don't really have much experience with it, but are a majority of games played with two people like chess?
Azul: There are such games, yes, but… There are also many that allow for a larger group to enjoy themselves.
Azul: There are 3D puzzle games, in which you try to fit the pieces into a frame, or real estate trading games, in which you try to increase your assets...
Azul: I suppose an easy game that anyone could pick up would be one where you would roll a die and do whatever task given on the space you land on.
Silver: What sort of tasks would those be?
Azul: It could require them to imitate the person beside them, or drink horrible-tasting juice… My clubmates do seem to enjoy that sort of thing.
Silver: I see, so those sorts of board games exist.
Silver: That could be a viable method…
Azul: A method? For what?
Silver: I just thought that if we were to change the theme of those games, it could also be used for training purposes.
Silver: For example, if we were to have the player's tasks be "20 finger push-ups" or "100 squats."
Azul: …Are you serious?
Silver: Yeah. I often hear people say that they find it difficult to train individually.
Silver: However, if many people were to work together, I am sure they could enjoy their workout.
Silver: Whenever it rains, we in the Equestrian Club are limited in what activities we can perform.
Silver: On those days, we often resort to training individually.
Silver: So I thought that if we all played a board game together, we could enjoy that exercise together.
Azul: You've come up with such a harsh training regimen while keeping such a virtuous mindset… I find you're as cunning as they come, Silver-san.
Silver: Oh, right, when I finish the prototype, would you like to join…
Azul: Ah, pardon me. Look at the time…. I should be on my way!
Silver: I appreciate you staying to talk with me. Now, I think I'll head to the next exhibit… Ah!
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Silver: This is a painting of the Thorn Which after she transformed into a dragon… I've always wanted to see this artwork.
Silver: …This wasn't part of a dream, this really happened.
Silver: What overwhelming power… I must be diligent in my training so as to not falter before a foe that could be as mighty as her.
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Requested by @dida-books.
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seresinhangmanjake · 6 months
Text
The One I Want: Part 3.5 - Jake POV
Jake "Hangman" Seresin x Plus size!reader
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Summary: You’re new in town and some guy named Jake is about to be your roommate. Being skeptical of new people keeps you lonely and uninterested in any entanglements, but Jake is desperate to change that.
Warnings: This chapter is written in first-person (warning you now so don't come for me later if it bothers you pretty please) Judgment related to weight. Cursing. Fluff. Angst. Eventual smut (alluded to/or other). Self-esteem issues.
Note: These Jake POV chapters are not necessary to read to understand or follow with the rest of the story!
Words: 1115 (i told ya it'd be shorter)
The One I Want Masterlist
Jake:
“If she doesn’t end up going for you, send her my way,” Javy whispers so only I can hear. 
Turning sharply, I whack him upside the head. I tell myself it's mostly so Javy stops looking at you the way he is, but I know it’s also a way to release my frustration at realizing my brain is only the slightest bit faster than my instincts. My brain just barely held me back from instinctually snapping ‘mine’ the second you walked into the place and I saw the look on my friend’s face. But thankfully it did. Because you’re not mine. Not really. Not at all. 
You don’t notice the smack, and Nat and Bradley have seen the same interaction enough to know it’s not genuine. Although, this time I can’t fully say that it isn’t. Their eyes find you and you blush under all four pairs; mine included, of course, since I can’t seem to manage to keep them off of you anyway. I don’t try anymore. 
“H-Hi,” you say with a lick of nerves. 
The look on your face screams ‘too much; too many people; too many eyes’, and I would instantly feel like an ass if it weren’t for the fact that when you agreed to meet them, you seemed happy about it. After a month and a half, you were finally willing to learn more about my life, integrate yourself into my world, and I wasn’t going to let the opportunity pass me by. But seeing you now, in the aftermath of putting my excitement above your anxiety, the guilt creeps up on me. 
“It’s good to see you again,” Nat says, carefully wiping away the deer-in-headlights expression off your face. Your shoulders settle and, albeit tentatively, you smile. The same smile I thought I would’ve grown immune to by now, but no. It still kicks my heart into overdrive in a way no other has. 
And that’s the problem. That’s the thing not allowing me to surrender in my efforts to open you up to me. I just want more; crave it; each day contemplate how I can coax new pieces of you to the surface. 
There was a brief period in those first three days when I prayed that what I saw in you was merely a challenge. A beautiful woman who doesn’t want me is rare, as ridiculously vain as it is to say. But it’s the truth. I know the game of cat and mouse well. The playful back and forth that inevitably ends up with the woman in my bed. And damn, did I want to play. But what I had allowed myself to assume was a need to conquer grew into genuine interest. It grew so quickly, in such an all-consuming manner, that I didn’t know what to do with myself. 
I still don’t. 
Instead, I act on impulse, and that usually leaves me doing what I must, asking what I must, to get to know you. At times, successfully. Others, not so much. Never before has the phrase ‘one step forward, two steps back’ applied so heavily to my life. 
You ease yourself into the kitchen and Javy takes it upon himself to give you his name and wrap you up in a hug; muscled arms irritatingly just barely bigger than mine squeezing you tight. It’s returned, though much less enthusiastically. 
When his arms have been around you far too long for my liking, my fingers fist in the back of his shirt and tug until he releases you. 
“I’m Bradley,” my final friend—potentially my new best friend if Javy keeps his shit up—offers with a wave.
“It’s nice to meet you all,” you reply.
I feel my lips curve all on their own at the rising confidence in your voice. You entered, took a moment to adjust to the room and the people occupying it, and then found your footing. A familiar adapt-to-survive skill I am slowly learning you possess. 
My friends smile, then look at me. Which is fair, considering the silence filling the room is my fault. I told them not to ask you too many questions. Not to pry into your past. Not to be too curious about your plans while you’re in the area. I left them with nothing and nowhere to go.
“How was your morning,” I ask. 
“Good actually. I got a job.”
I stand a little straighter. “You did?” 
I know I'm coming off a little too eager at that information, but it’s the first indication you’ve given that says you intend to stick around for a while. So far, you’ve not made an effort to find friends, you haven’t bought yourself anything that can’t fit in a backpack, and, until now, hadn’t found a job. It was a developing pattern that kept me in a state of wondering if I’ll wake one morning to find you gone. But if you got yourself a job then that has to be a good sign of things to come. 
You nod. “It’s not much. Just cashier at the gift shop across from the beach, but at least I’ll be able to start paying you for last month's rent.”
“Oh, don’t worry about that. You don’t have to pay me,” I say. Because it’s true. Having you around, knowing I come home to someone every day, is enough. And the reality of it is, I don’t need the money. 
With a raised brow, Nat smirks, and I wonder if it’s too obvious. If I’m too obvious. 
“I’m paying you, Jake,” you state with an edge of harshness that has ‘two steps back’ repeating in my brain. And before I can think to argue with you, you’ve muttered something about taking a shower and have disappeared into your room. 
When I look back to the small group at the side, my brows dip in irritation. Nat is still smirking. Bradley is shaking his head. And Javy’s lips are pinched tight to hold in a laugh threatening to burst. 
I sigh as I lean my weight against the countertop of the kitchen island. “What?” 
“‘Oh, don’t worry. You don’t have to pay me,’” Bradley mocks in a voice much higher pitched than mine. 
“You’re making fun of me for being nice?”
“No, No,” he corrects, glancing between Nat and Javy before once again meeting the glare in my eyes. “It’s just interesting. It was only two months ago that you were expecting Brit to pay rent and she had your dick inside of her a few times a week. She never even got a discount, but this chick lives here for nothing.”
A beat passes. 
Then Javy’s laugh finally breaks free. 
---
tags: @wkndwlff @kmc1989 @sagittarius-flowerchild @dempy @rosiahills22 @oliviah-25 @xoxabs88xox @matisse556 @hardballoonlove @ssa-sadboi @lynnevanss @pono-pura-vida @tgmreader @amgluvsbooks @ravenhood2792 @djs8891 @shakespeareanwannabe @sailor-aviator @penguin876 @rogersbarnesxx @nani-kenobi @tgmavericklover @athenabarnes @elite4cekalyma @buckysteveloki-me @shelbycillian @kissmethric3 @fox-bee926 @hangmandruigandmav @waltermis @fandom-life-12 @a-serene-place-to-be @bruher @cehenyne @tngrace
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wolfiesmoon · 4 months
Text
Countless nights
Malleus x gn!reader
i felt like writing something super cute and lovey dovey and basic after listening to can't help falling in love by elvis presley so here we are lol😌🩷
this is nothing revolutionary that hasn't been done before just so much fluff you'll throw up a furball (made of fictional fluff) by the end
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There are many a night which he spends thinking of you.
Lilia had told him about it, a long long time ago. How your chest would tighten, how your face would become warm, how your heart would flutter when gazing at the person you're in love with. But he never imagined that it could feel this amazing, this freeing, this beautiful.
There are many moments he thinks of on these nights...
You run up behind him, yelling the silly little nickname he's grown to love hearing fall from your lips.
He turns around, grinning at the sound of your voice. Truly, you are a sight for sore eyes. Your little furry companion is with you, too, dozing off in your arms.
"It's so nice to see you in the hallways for once." you realise that you mostly see him in front of your dorm when he randomly shows up. Because of that, you kinda forgot that he's also a student at the school and takes classes as well.
"Likewise. It's always a pleasure to see you." He didn't say anything presumptious, so why are you making that excited face all of a sudden? Now he feels giddy.
A silence falls between you.
"Ahaha... Um... I actually have no idea what to talk about... I kinda just ran to you after seeing you..." you admitted awkwardly.
That is... very comforting to hear. All you need is the sight of him to want to be by his side. The warm feeling spreading across his body is very welcome.
He wants to hear you say that sentence over and over, but greed is not a good quality to bear, so he'll settle with hearing it only once.
"Then I suppose you wouldn't mind listening to me talk? Do you happen to be partial to gargoyles?" He takes the opportunity to talk about the passion no one seems to share with him. He's fully expecting you to say no and change the topic, and he wouldn't blame you at all in some regard. He's well aware most humans don't take interest in something as specific as gargoyles.
"I never really thought much about them before. But sure, tell me about it." you actually look really interested, waiting for him to start.
He smiles.
Oh, he just can't help falling in love with you.
.
"Did you hear about that new ice cream place that opened in town recently?"
When you asked him if he could spare 2 hours of his day just for the two of you yesterday, he was certainly not expecting you to open with this.
"Lilia told me you like ice cream, and I was pretty curious about the taste myself." you wonder to yourself if there's any funny flavours you wouldn't find in the human world. If so, you're definitely trying them out.
"So, uhhh... wanna go try it with me?"
You don't even realise how happy you've just made him. He has to hold back the wide smile that threatens to spread across his face.
"Hahaha, you're so strange... Though I certainly wouldn't mind." You seriously just want to... hang out with him? What a pleasant surprise, indeed. It makes his heart beat with excitement.
"Let's go!" you start running down the hill to get to town, excited to share ice cream with him.
.
"Aw man, it's almost impossible to choose." you're contemplating between three different flavours at the moment.
"Shall I choose for you, then?" Malleus suggests. He already picked the flavour he wants and is waiting for you to make your choice. Not that he's annoyed by that. The longer you take, the more minutes he can spend by your side. How greedy of him.
"Go ahead." you sigh defeatedly. You're truly thankful he can put an end to the awkward situation of you just staring between 3 different flavours for like, 2 whole minutes now. You're creating a line behind you, no doubt.
"You should get the strawberry flavour." Malleus recalled a story of Lilia's in which he told him that strawberries are a symbol of love in a country he visited. He feels a bit cheeky, sneaking a subtle hint in like this.
"Uh, sure! I'll have one scoop of strawberry!" you raised an eyebrow slightly at his satisfied smile. Why is he smiling now, of all times?
If he's happy, you're happy, you suppose.
The two of you decided to walk around town while eating the ice cream. It was a nice change of scenery.
You were telling Malleus about a funny potionology mishap you had with Grim and Ace today when someone bumped into you, making you lose grip of the ice cream.
It fell splat on the ground, making it no longer edible.
"Oh come on..." you looked down at the wasted ice cream sadly. It was really good, too.
"I can return it to its original form, do not worry." Malleus suggested, already about to do it when you gently grabbed his wrist. His eyes widened slightly and a strange tightness enveloped his chest.
"No need. Just hanging out with you is enough. Enjoy the ice cream for the both of us." you're really fine with just watching him. He seems very happy when eating ice cream, which you can't get enough of.
"...If you wish." he felt his whole being warming up at your sweet words.
Oh, he just can't help falling in love with you.
.
"Child of man. What is the meaning of this?" his expression darkens when he sees your fingers wrapped in bandages.
"Of wha- Oh, you mean my bandages? It's, uhhh, a bit embarrasing. And also a suprise." you hid your hands behind your back, not wanting him to worry about them too much.
"Tell me." he looked quite scary in this moment, almost like he was ready to kill. Is he really that worried over it? It kinda makes you feel giddy.
"It'll ruin the surprise, I'm just saying." you shifted your weight from one foot to the other. His terrifying gaze didn't falter however, so you gave up.
"Roses are really important symbols in Briar valley, so I've heard. So I kinda wanted to give you a hand-picked rose boquet for your birthday tommorow, but I was dumb and didn't use gloves to de-thorn the roses. So that's why my hands look like this." you still felt a little bad ruining the surprise, but giving Malleus peace of mind is much more important.
"Oh... So it was that, I see." Malleus still witheld a somewhat cold, scary expression. He can't stand to see you hurt, in any way. And knowing it was all for him makes him feel even worse.
Still... you wanted to make him happy so much that you willingly hurt yourself to see it happen. Warmth rushes to his face at the thought of you handing the boquet to him. That's quite a common way of confessing love among humans, is it not?
He can't wait for his birthday all of a sudden.
On these nights, he just can't help falling in love with you.
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cranberryjuice-posts · 4 months
Note
I saw your story about the blind reader and I thought one where the reader is deaf this time? I like the drama but if you prefer it could just be something with anguish and a happy ending
YIPPEE‼️‼️
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To be nothing with you
Pairings - Clarisse La rue x Fem! Daughter of Hecate! Deaf! Reader
An - am I writing this with reader being a Hecate kid bc I’m a Hecate kid yes and I will admit it every time 🏃‍♀️🏃‍♀️
An pt2 - sign Language isn’t communicated in full complete sentences so like “are you going to the doctors tomorrow” would be like “you, doctors, tomorrow?” But with certian words like “You” or “can” you could always spell out if it’s necessary, So that’s how I’m gonna be writing (I have immediate Family who’s deaf so I understand a lot Abt sign language)
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The breakup was for a good reason. You both just weren’t compatible. If that was the case how did you two always find yourselves drawn to eachother.
A perfect example would be tonight. You were sitting on the shore of the lake just taking in the scenery when you felt a familiar presence.
You looked to the side, finding the beautiful daughter of Ares beside you.
Clarisse made a few hand movements which you knew was sign language, she was asking ‘hearing aids?’. You nodded with a small smile, you always appreciated how she spent the time to learn sign language to communicate with you.
“Hey” clarisse leaned back on her hands.
“Hey?” You chuckled tilting your head in response. You had gone deaf a few years ago after an accident, being able to still hear with hearing aids was a blessing but without them you couldn’t hear a thing. “So.. what does the camp mean girl want with me hm? Trying to find a new kid to pick on” you teased lightly
Clarisse Rolled her eyes. “Yeah i came to bully one of the few Hecate kids in camp who I know damn well could curse me, I may be dumb—“
“You said it not me”
She gently shoved you making you laugh. “As i was saying, i May be dumb but I’m not that dumb— gods has anyone told you how annoying you are” she chuckled along side you.
“Yeah I’ve been informed” You grinned at her. It was nice with things like this, you knew clarisse always acted different around you which you didn’t mind. “So? What did you want”
Clarisse shrugged her shoulders “just wanted to see you”
There was a moment of silence, something you had grown to live with, the only sound near was the crashing of waves on the shore.
When you both were together, it hurt. Clarisse putting her pride before you, though you weren’t entirely innocent, any Time You argued you would take your hearing aids out for an entire day just to not talk to her.
You found yourself reaching out to clarisse, her following in suit. Your faces were close to the point you could feel her breath on your skin. You looked up at her soft brown eyes, it was like a silent agreement between you two.
She closed the gap by softly kissing you. Clarisse slid her hands down your waist and to your hips while gently grabbing your thighs. You found your hands trailing up her toned Arms and to her curly hair, locking your fingers in the hair while rubbing loving circles on her cheek.
It was always like this. You two would have a minute conversation before finding yourself making out with her.
You pulled away breathless from the kiss. clarisse shifted some before bringing her free hand up, softly tracing your lips. “You know.. your lips have always been the softest.” She admitted quietly. “Σ'αγαπώ” she whispered.
You closed your eyes not able to say the same, you knew If you did it would end badly just like last time. You sat up kissing her forehead. “See you soon ok”
You had done the math multiple times, but there was no solution. You two would never last.. if that was true then why did you feel like this
——
16 days.
That’s how many days you two avoided eachother.
Silena had confronted clarisse trying to tell her to talk to you but she couldn’t. Even when you showed up in her dreams she just couldn’t. She knew you loved her and herself on multiple occasions has been reminded how much she loves you.
But you just couldn’t work.
She promised herself that she wouldn’t put you through the hell of your relationship again, but now clarisse found herself breaking said Promise while standing in-front of the Hermes cabin thinking of a way to get your attention.
——
You were laying in your bed just looking up at the ceiling not being able to sleep. From the moonlight outside you saw a shadow moving at the window.
You walked over rubbing your eyes, once at the wall you saw clarisse standing outside. You opened the window and leaned out signing ‘grab hearing aids wait’.
She shook her head signing ‘no, wait’
You stopped confused you watched as the girl continued to sign, you smiled as it wasn’t the best and she messed up frequently but it was cute none the less.
‘We are not good together’ she started, you rolled your eyes and signed back ‘W O W, great start’
She gave you a sharp look before continuing ‘I love you, so please can we make it work’ clarisses face was calm, sweet and soft but you.. she knew the answer by your lack of movement.
‘No’ is all you signed back.. after a few moments you returned back to the windowsill with your hearing aids now in. “Clarisse we both know you won’t put me before trying to prove to your father that your the best”
“That’s—“
“The truth.” Your tone was flat. “We broke up for a reason, and we’re staying that way,.. go to your cabin, it’s late” you stepped back to close the window. She grabbed your hand stopping you. “Please.. it hurt when we were something but it’s worse to be nothing with you”
You softly took clarisses hand, kissing her scarred knuckles before pushing her hand out. “I’ll see you soon..”
You loved the daughter of ares and her the same to you. But you both loved other things before each-other.
——
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toastandjamie · 2 months
Text
Thinking about Mat’s first meeting with Olver. Just this twenty year old who’s so frustrated with responsibility that despite hating fighting goes into this situation looking for an excuse to hit someone. Then he sees that a kids involved, and he tries to diffuse the situation, he’s tired and just wants to solve this quickly so he can go back to the inn and get some sleep- then this full grown man threatens to kill a child, for the crime of roughing his horse. And Mat, Mat KNOWS what it’s like to be that kid, too curious for his own good and getting into trouble, but never NEVER has anyone threatened to hurt him over it. And Mat without any thought for potential repercussions breaks a dudes wrist and hits the other right between the legs. And then he threatens to have the lot of them run out of town by the Band because they had the audacity to say that Olver was “just a peasant child” as of that changed the situation for Mat, a horse traders son in fancy clothes. Because to Mat that’s all he is, a peasant in nice clothes. Then he’s trying to figure out what to do with Olver, since his parents are no where to he found, and Olver tells him not to talk about him like he isn’t there. And Mat ACKNOWLEDGES that, he apologizes and kneels down so they can be eye level. He doesn’t talk down to Olver, because he knows what it’s like to have other people make decisions for him. He is so keenly aware of his Olver feels, the frustration and rebelliousness that comes from being a child because he isn’t that far removed from it. Just three years ago he was still just a kid, older and a bit more mature than Olver perhaps, but still just a kid and one who hadn’t seen the horrors that ten year old Olver had seen. He acknowledges Olver’s feelings and talks to him like he’s anyone else, and redirects Olver’s stubbornness so skillfully. He’s just so good with kids in a way that not even just having two younger sisters can account for. He Gets It, the parts of him that others consider immature are what make him so good at communicating with Olver.
Then think about this from Olver’s perspective. He’s been alone for who knows how long, forced to flee his home, to bury his mother, and now all alone in some strange place. He was likely sleeping in the stables, and that was how he ended up trying to make friends with the Hunter of the Horns horse. Then this Hunter drags him out to the middle of the street, threatening to Jill him. Olver was brave about it but it must’ve been terrifying. Especially upon realizing that none of the other refugees would help. Then suddenly a man in nobles clothes, a strange hat and the coolest looking spear he’s probably ever seen intercedes on his behalf. A man Olver has never seen before, a foreigner no less, but here he is coming to rescue Olver like some gleemans hero. Then Olver sees Mat fight, while to Mat this was hardly even a struggle, a few cracks with the blunt of his spear and the ‘fight’ is over, but to Olver, Mat probably looked like a warder with how easily he handled two armed men presumably trained in using those swords they carry. We as an audience see Mat mainly through the eyes of people who don’t take him seriously, Mat himself included, so it’s easy to overlook just how badass Mat must seem to anyone else looking from the outside, especially a young angry boy who wants to fight the aiel who killed his father. We don’t know how Olver found out, or when, but imagine being Olver and hearing the most certainly exaggerated story of Mat “dueling” Couladin. Is it any wonder that Olver hero worships Mat? That inspite of what Olver perceived as Mat being hypocritical and foolish(or as Mat sees it trying to properly care for a child and be a good influence) he still considers Mat to be someone to emulate. Whether Olver sees Mat as more a mentor, brother or father figure he very clearly idolizes him. He wants to be like Mat, he wants Mat’s attention and praise because despite Mat being “no bloody hero” to this little boy he IS a hero, one worthy of any gleemans story
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Text
Being the youngest member of 141 (platonic)
Codename: Shark/Sharky
Age: 20
Part 2 part 3 part 4 part 5
Inspired by the many works of this concept! But most specifically @meatonfork and their grim stories!
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Being the youngest member of a task force of grown men who’ve stared death in the face around every day of their lives is an accomplishment in itself
Getting close with them though is an entirely different goal that you’ve somehow accomplished in your time at 141
Your kinda not sure how it happened
Like you were brought on as additional support on a mission of theirs. Unlike the others though you’d stood out
Partially due to your smaller stature cause of your young age compared to literally everyone else (even Gaz)
He’s the most hesitant of the bunch to get closer to you. Afraid that his presence will be like a curse that leads to your life being cut short.
But your stubborn though, like a shark refusing to give up on chasing its prey.
But your stubborn though, like a shark refusing to give up on chasing its prey.
But your stubborn though, like a shark refusing to give up on chasing its prey.
But your stubborn though, like a shark refusing to give up on chasing its prey.
But your stubborn though, like a shark refusing to give up on chasing its prey.
But your stubborn though, like a shark refusing to give up on chasing its prey.
But your stubborn though, like a shark refusing to give up on chasing its prey.
It starts with small improvements you could make in simple stuff like your stances. He sees it during some training and he takes the time to show you what to do.
He tries to leave it at that but you come to him asking for more help in other areas you thought you could do better in. A small smirk on your face as he agrees with a bit of a sigh.
You talk to him during these times. Never shutting up about something funny you saw on tiktok or some weird story.
He appreciates how you don’t ever really expect him to respond, just to silently listen to your ramblings. Knowing he preferred to listen rather than talk.
It’s nice. He begins to look forwards to your training sessions and also starts indulging in joking with you.
His sense of humour doesn’t scare you off, in fact you seem to make more fucked up jokes than he does.
“Damn that hits harder than my parents expectations” the moment after you say this an awkward silence fills the training room. Ghost staring down at you with an unreadable expression on his face, dark eyes peering down from behind his edgy mask. “Kid are you ok?” The moment he asks this your instant response is “no”
Is reallly fucking worried for your mental health. Like he’s constantly checking on you after missions and is the first to volunteer to be at your side if your experiencing something wrong
He’s seen allot of people older than you be permanently scarred by what they’ve seen and end up on dark paths. He’s attached now and refuses to let that happen to you
He hasn’t been on the internet in years so he has no fucking clue what a “vine” is or whatever the fuck is going on your “tick-tack” or whatever the hell that app was named.
But he bears it for your smile and giggles as you show him a video of a puppy
He won’t mention it but at some point he gets a tattoo of a small nurse shark circling his forearm.
A symbol of your impact on his life
If you steal a mask of his you’ll find one tailored to properly fit you a few days later slipped under your door with a small note
Calls you “kid, brat, and (when he’s feeling soft) Sharky or ankle biter”
On missions with you he tends to try and have you in eyesight unless it’s completely necessary not to
A subtle way of keeping his protective side in reign but also let you do what you do best
Be prepared if you get injured though cause he’s ripping and tearing whoever’s in his path to get to you.
Price on the other hand is also worried but isn’t afraid to get close. In fact, he goes out of his way to welcome you as best he can.
Every morning he greets you with a polite “hello” and “how’s your morning” before offering a cup of tea
Not coffee though. He says it’s bad for your health and your too young to start drinking that shit
You can’t fight him on this either, he goes full dad mode on your ass and places the coffee container somewhere you can’t reach
He often stays up late doing paperwork so if your restless you end up curled up in his office on one of the couches.
He talks about some old stories, snuffing out his cigar so you don’t breath in the smoke.
His voice is perfect to listen too and has an almost instant knock out affect on your sleepy mind
You’ll wake up in your room the next morning, one of his hats snug on your head.
He’s the only one who knows any background information of your upbringing and guards that unless you don’t really care. Even then he’s still very hush hush about your past.
He likes to give a lot of verbal affection.
Just telling you that “you did a good job!” or a “great work out there kiddo”.
Plus a pat on the back and ruffling of your hair to add onto the affection. Will also give hugs if your comfortable with them
Buy him a hat or mug with “ 1# dad/captain” and you’ll see him tear up slightly
“Surprise!!” You place down the small mug that had “worlds best dad captain” written on it, onto his desk. He goes silent, carefully taking it into his hands with a certain gentleness only reserved for moments such as this. “Thought you needed a new one” he still remains silent, staring down in Aw at the mug “thought it would also go good with the “women fear me, fish fear me, men turn their eyes away from me-“. You stop seeing as his eyes begin to gloss over slightly.
“Thanks kid” “no problem old man”
He’s always wanted kids but due to the profession he’s never had the chance to settle down. So getting something like that helps with his lingering feeling of longing and bitterness of knowing he’ll likely never fulfil that dream
But he’s has you now, along with the family he built with the others and that’s good enough for him.
As the youngest you abuse your youngest child privileges on him a shit ton with Gaz.
He just can’t stay mad lol
Unlike Ghost he’s a bit more adept to modern tech though social media has him a bit lost.
Show him all you want but he still won’t be able to comprehend why a dude screaming about something is funny
On missions he already knows Ghost is watching over you so he kinda lets him take the lead in being protective. Though if ghost isn’t there he definitely has either himself or whoever else is on the mission nearby
He also almost always makes sure for missions your paired up with at least one other person.
Soap is immediately becoming your buddy whether you like it or not
After that first interaction he kinda just mentally said to himself “aight this lil shit is sticking with me now” and went from there
Jokes. Holy shit does he have an arsenal of jokes that he tries out with you.
Once he finds your somewhat dark and weird sense of humour he sticks to it, learning what would make you laugh the hardest and feeling super accomplished in succeeding his task
Definitely makes aquatic jokes and tries to buy you sea themed souvenirs
Eventually you gift him a seahorse keychain and it now hangs from his belt. He buys you a shark one in return that you hang from your com.
He has some social media accounts but their relatively bare. He just doesn’t have the time to update them or when he’s not busy he forgets to post anything
You quickly change that and he ends up basically becoming a meme account to piss off ghost as you, him and Gaz team up in talking in slang that makes Ghost and Price so fucking confused.
You and Soap sit side by side with shit grinning faces as Ghost sits as still as a statue with the aura of annoyance. You whisper to Soap something which makes the Scottish man giggle and glance back at ghost. Personally it’s getting on ghost’s nerves but he knows if he asks his ears are gonna be assaulted by some ungodly array of words he was 100% sure wasn’t in the dictionary.
During leave he’s definitely inviting you over to stay with him back in his flat. It’s somewhat small but it’s cozy, definitely a nice stay as he takes you to a football game and gets somewhat rowdy while watching it.
He kinda has the suspicion that you might’ve not had the best home life considering your age in which you voluntarily enlisted. But he doesn’t ask incase of it being a sensitive topic.
Maybe he’s right, maybe he’s wrong but it’s an offer you occasionally take since it makes him more happy than you know
100% teaches you Scottish slang for fun
Is probably the one who calls you “Sharky” the most out of the group and is the one who insists that everyone calls you that
Price has banned him from teaching you on how to make bombs no matter how much either of you plead
That doesn’t stop him from showing you how to set them up though
And that unfortunately (for him and everyone else) also leads you to setting up better pranks due to the knowledge he taught you.
He gets the side eye from ghost every time he wakes up to find a new elaborate glitter tripwire you set up
Gaz needs a moment to warm up to you but once he does he’s joining in on the shenanigans
For the longest time he was the youngest so now he has a chance to be a role model/mentor to someone!
Gaz knows what it’s like to be the metaphorical baby of the team (he still kinda is) so he understands if your feeling overwhelmed by the other’s protective streaks
Will 100% be the only one to understand half the shit you say and be given the title of “shark translator”
“Gaz for the love of Christ please translate that”
“It basically means “I’d rather gouge my eye out with a rusty shit covered spoon than eat any more of the broccoli” honestly same”
“What the fuck”
That just gives him the excuse to make them think that what you said is a whole lot worse tho
He occasionally takes his hat and places it on your head to see it be way to big and obscure your eyesight
Don’t offer instant ramen to him cause he has ptsd from eating a shit ton of it when he was in high school
He has an Xbox 360 and a sega Saturn locked away in his room. He only lets people he trusts know of it’s existence let alone be able to play on it
Your one of the few
He does not judge if you talk to him for an hour about the most obscure piece of media, he’ll probably find it really interesting and end up down the rabbit hole of watching it.
Both of you send the creepy stories chain email to random people on base just to see what’ll happen
Like everyone he kinda assumes you probably came from a shit background. He doesn’t ask about it unless you bring it up, but he always reminds you that him and the team are there for you if you need a place to crash at or talk to
Gets pretty nervous about you on the battlefield cause of the fact your going up against men that are usually 2 times your size. But he doesn’t try to admit it since he remembers when the others felt the same about him.
Is probably the only one who doesn’t get worried about any self-deprivations humour but does kinda get worried about suicide jokes
As a joke y’all call everyone old and make jokes about getting Price a cane next Christmas (which results in about 20 sets if push ups)
He sends random low quality memes you sent to him at 3 am to Price to see if he’ll ask the next morning what “me and the boys at 3 am looking for beans” fucking means.
Like soap he encourages your shenanigans but if he thinks you might get hurt he’s stopping that shit
He carry’s around kids bandaids with characters on them for you as an inside joke
Overall their protective but they don’t overstep the comfort line.
You’ve grown on them like a parasite and now they refuse to cut you off, luckily for them you just seem to latch on even harder.
2K notes · View notes
bagdaddyb · 7 months
Note
Hi!! Oh my gosh seeing you posting again was such a huge joy and surprise for me I’m so glad to read your new work!!!
I was wondering if you could write a wanda maximoff x fem!reader ABO fic where either Wanda or reader are new to the team with a whole bunch of pining where they eventually figure out that they are each others mate? You can make either Wanda or reader alpha/omega!
It’s super okay if you aren’t feeling this request, either way I’m so excited to read more of the amazing work you share with us!!!
Hiiiii! So I got super carried away with this and I originally intended for this to be mean emo Wanda but sweet soft Wanda took over, I hope you enjoy! 💗
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Pairing: alphag!p Wanda x omega fem! spyReader
Warning: Sickeningly Sweet, 18+ MINOR DNI NSFW NSFW
AN: Wanda 🥰
You'd only been on the team for a year when the mess with Ultron happened. It all happened so fast, you could barely process everything happening around you before something new would arise. Sitting across from Natasha sipping coffee as you spied on the twin alphas you felt the most relaxed you had in weeks. Natasha kept glancing their way while your focus stayed on her, two people staring was more suspicious than one. You and the red head proved to be a good team over the past year. Two omega spies flying under everyones radar. The world still assumed the Black Widow a one woman show and no one would ever believe her to be an omega. The breeze felt nice on your back, bringing a hand up to tuck your hair behind your ear before looking down at your coffee.
"This has been a real shit show eh?"
Your voice held a familiar accent one you'd grown used to using under your many aliases. Natasha's eyes returned to you as she sipped her own drink.
"Not anymore than usual."
You hummed in response eyes wondering to the innocent civilians around you. Sipping your own cup you wonder if life would be better among them. Oblivious to the realities of the world to caught up in your own day to day menial task. The weight of this job seemed to weigh a bit heavier on your shoulders everyday, the question of wether the people you save amounts to the people you don't plaguing.
"S toboy vse v poryadke?" (Are you alright?)
The red head ask and you nod eyes returning to hers.
"Tired, it seems everytime we try to relax something detrimental in the world happens. I wonder what it would do without us."
A small chuckle escapes Natasha despite the truth in your words, her eyes shooting to the pair on her right once more. Though not a 'graduate' of the red room you hold your own tramatic story. Experimented on in the basement of Oscorp for years you'd been turned into a lab rat by the corpo bastards that owned the building. You'd escaped only three years ago, changed. Transformed into a human machiene, non-aging, ridiculously strong with a sirens song. You did the only thing you could and played the cards you were delt. Seducing mediocre alphas out of millions before any one even got a whiff of your existence but you could truly only thank Natasha for that. It wasn't until Natasha was taken down but the Black Widow kept striking that shield realized there was more than met the eye. It was Tony himself that went undercover to catch you and honestly had he not been an Avenger with intel he would of ended up caught himself. Another rich egotistical alpha who thought himself on top of the world. You didn't go down easy and spent a week in a cell before even uttering a word. In retrospect it all seems silly now you often think about how much time you wasted fighting the people who wanted nothing more than to help you. Eyes lifting to Natasha's face you can't help but feel greatful for the opportunity she's given you to help others like you.
"They're on the move."
You hum in acknowledgment before finishing off your drink mind finally wondering to the matter at hand. Your mission was recruitment nothing more. Ultron having been made unreasonably strong by the twins he somehow came to be in alliance with. You'd gained enough information merely listening in on their conversation, so you and Natasha retreated returning to the group in order to solidify your advances. Standing in time with Natasha you link your arm in hers smiling before chatting away about absolutely nothing in russian. Missing the way a certain alpha glanced your way when your scent drifted down wind. It only took twenty four hours for everything to go to shit almost a record breaker in your books. Ultron whineded up to be nothing after the male alpha was nere fatally injured the red headed woman taking care of him like clockwork. Luckily your team stood nearby able to quickly extract the alpha towards safety and medical attention. You worked efficiently getting him secured before moving to help the rest of your team fight off Ultron's bots and it isn't until the end when you stand with the support of Thor that you realize the red headed alpha had come with you. Returning to the compound there is tension on the quinjet. The group unsure what to do with the twin alphas who quite literally just tried to murder them and it causes you to roll your eyes.
"You could at least not talk about them as if they aren't right there."
You scold before moving towards the pair. The red head having been unmoving crouched over her unconscious brother.
"Privet." (Hello.)
You say making yourself known as you approach the alpha causing her to glance up at you.
"On dolzhen polnost'yu vyzdorovet'." (He should make a full recovery.)
You speak in a whisper trying to be soft.
"YA uveren, chto on ne khotel by, chtoby vy bespokoilis'." (I'm sure he wouldn't want you to worry.)
The woman merely returns her eyes to the unconscious man below her.
"Will you lock us up? Treat us once again like dogs?"
Your eyebrows raise and your posture straightens.
"No of course not, everyone deserves a second chance. You believed you were fighting for the right thing, there are many on this team who have been in a similar circumstance. Do not believe simply because we are labeled supergeroi that none of us have a dark past." (Superheroes)
With that you take your leave allowing the woman to be with her loved one. Upon returning to the compound you go into seclusion, you needed a break both mentally and physically. Just a few days where the world wasn't ending and it was entirely up to you to save it. Six days later you emerge slightly re-energized and fresh ready for the next catastrophe. The first place you visit is the gym already hearing Natasha's scolding on breaking your routine as you pass the common room you see the two twins on the couch alone. In this light you see them both clearly, while they hold the title twin they couldn't look more different. You study them both your eyes lingering on the red head. She was an attractive alpha, very attractive. You hear the tv playing but don't recognize the program they have on. Detouring into the room you catch their attention waving as you approach.
"Hello, I am rather embarrassed to say we never formally met. I am (Y/N) nice to meet you both."
You bow your head in greeting sending them a bright smile and both of them seem to freeze obviously caught off guard by your friendly approach. The male recovers first standing up before bowing his head back and sticking out his hand.
"Pietro, and that is my sestra Wanda."
You recognize his accent reaching to grip his hand in yours.
"A pleasure, I hope you two are adjusting well."
It isn't until then his sister jumps up a slight flush on her cheeks.
"It has been familiar, we are rather alienated but that is how it has always been."
You hum in response fighting back the disappointment in your expression.
"Don't fret, we are a group of antisocial extroverts forced to be in a group setting. Well expect for Tony but it just takes us all time to engage and meet new people, they will come around before long."
You finish with a smile.
"Have you two at least been taken care of? Food, water, lodging?"
They nod simultaneously and its enough for you.
"Good well I'm off to the gym, don't be strangers."
With that you leave not taking note of the full face flush on the woman's face.
"Kto-nibud' nashel svoyu sestru-omegu?" (Has someone found their omega sister?)
Pietro says in a teasing tone and Wanda punches him in the shoulder muttering at him to shut up. The moment you cross the threshold of the gym you flinch.
"Nu posmotrite, kto eto." (Well look who it is.)
"Can we skip past the part where you scold me so I can just apologize?"
You ask turning to meet Natasha's sharp gaze.
"Will your muscles magically regain their mass?"
"No."
You sigh accepting your defeat beginning to stretch as Natasha begins her speech on commitment. It is another four days before everyone finally comes around to the twins slotting them in as if theyed been there since the beginning just as they had you. Walking towards the gym you release a content sigh, a full ten days since the world seemed as though it'd collapse. What bliss. Quickly looking up your eyes fantically search for some wood unwilling to risk jinxing yourself.
"Dobroye utro." (Good morning.")
You hear from behind turning to be greeted by Wanda.
"Good morning indeed. Off for your morning cuppa are you?"
You ask and Wanda merely nods in response fighting back a yawn.
"Not a morning person?"
You ask with a smile walking beside Wanda.
"Not at all."
She says somewhat grumpily.
"Then what are you doing up at six a.m?"
You ask with a laugh and Wanda has to fight back a blush. She couldn't admit that she woke up at this time merely to see you every morning but what could she say.
"I like to cook but I'm not very good at it.... so I practice early before the others wake up."
The words spill out of her mouth quickly unable to think of anything better and you beam your white smile at her.
"Well how about tomorrow you sleep in till eight then I can help you learn, I am an amazing cook. I even know how to make some traditional dishes."
Wanda can't help the flush that comes to her face this time and it makes you feel a tingle inside.
"Okay."
The red head responds and you nod giving her arm a little reassuring squeeze as you come upon the kitchen.
"Good luck dorogoy." (Dear)
You say before continuing onto the gym and Wanda is sure her face matches her hair. Sure enough the next morning Wanda doesn't head towards the kitchen instead she spends the morning pacing her room anxiety ridden. You'd said for her to sleep in but how could she when you agreed to spend alone time with her. She couldn't tell Pietro and deal with his repeated teasing so she kept the information in slowly but surely having a meltdown. As she paced she played with her hair, bit her finger, twiddled her thumbs. God she couldn't do this. She'd literally been an experiment for Hydra and never felt this nervous in her life. The time passed quickly. To quickly. Right as she truly began to spiral there was a knock at her door, eyes shooting to the clock she realizes its already eight o'clock. Brushing off her clothes quickly before taking a few deep breaths and recuperating she opens her door. The moment her eyes land on you it all seems for naught, your hair is tied back. You wear tights and a tshirt covered by an apron. Your eyes spakle matched by your bright smile and Wanda feels herself melt a bit.
"I figured you'd meet me in the kukhnya." (Kitchen)
You say with a giggle and Wanda becomes a tomato realizing its not only eight but eight eleven.
"I'm sorry I slept in and lost all track of time."
You hum with a smile clearly not mad at all before turning to be on your way.
"All is fine I just didn't want to start without you."
Wanda follows behind you closing her door quickly. Her eyes wonder your body not being able to help staring at your ass.
"Ty slushayesh'?" (Are you listening?)
Wanda's eyes shoot up attention back on your voice.
"I asked what your favorite dish is."
"Oh um I love traditional pirozhki, my mother used to make them just slightly burnt at the edges. The taste reminds me of home."
You turn and smile softly her way.
"Perfect then that's what we will make, cooking can seem overwhelming but it isn't as scary as many think. I always recommend learning to cook for yourself first because it is much easier than cooking for others."
In the kitchen you gather the suppiles, you cooked often so the ingredients for this dish were easily found.
"I'll have you make the dough, it is all simply measurements so I'll do no more than verbal instructions."
You say as you prepare the area for Wanda.
"Here put this on, gotta protect your clothes and tie your hair back no one wants hair in their food."
Handing the apron to Wanda while standing by waiting. You bite your lip as you watch her. Running her fingers through silky red locks before pulling it up exposing her neck to you. She wore grey sweatpants and a baggy t. The sweatpants doing little to hide the member between her legs and you press your thighs together pleasurably. Wanda on the other hand was trying to think about how to see this lie through. She was an amazing cook, taking the responsibility of her brother from a young age. How was she going to play clueless. She should of at least said a dish she truly wasn't aware of how to make but when you asked her favortie food she couldn't help but answer honestly. You talked Wanda through the steps praising her for being a natural when the dough came out well. Leaving it to make the filling.
"What did your mom fill hers with? I do a simple meat and rice mixture since it goes along with my bulk."
Wanda nods along as she listens debating a moment before responding.
"Lets make them like yours, I've never had them any other way and I'd be eager to try."
You smile brightly at the alpha before nodding in response. Again you talk her through it always believing hands on with clear instruction was the best way to learn any skill. It gave the student mutiple ways to intake the information and made it harder to forget. Once the process is complete you help Wanda cut and stuff the dough, this part of the process being the longest and most tedious. You leave her to fry them as she likes since she'd mentioned her mom let them cook a bit longer and instead move to clean around her. Never a fan of a messy workspace. You hum as you clean, mindlessly really. It seems a tune that always floats around you. One Wanda is sure she's heard you hum before. By the time Wanda is done cooking you've cleaned the kitchen and are able to sit down and enjoy the meal with her. Of course the moment doesn't last and before either of you can even take a bite the smell of food draws in hungry Avengers.
"Mne vsegda nravitsya, kogda ty gotovish'." (I always love when you cook.)
Natasha says entering first, the smell of traditional food equivalent to a cat with its automatic feeder. Steve, Bruce, Tony, and Sam all slowly trickle in after stomachs growling audibly making you laugh.
"I suppose if I didn't cook every once in a while no one would eat around here hmmm?"
The group shares a laugh as they line up one by one to make plates.
"But in all honesty this meal is thanks to Wanda not me, I merely talked her through the steps."
Wanda can't hide the pink that dust her cheeks and all is going well until a certain twin walks in.
"Pirozhki! You always cook the best food sestra."
The blonde kisses his sisters head as he passes by and you can't help the eyebrow that raises in response.
"Always hmmm?"
You hum and Wanda is saved by the entrance of Thor who could of eaten the entire helping had he got here first.
"Mighty (Y/N) your meals are always most invigorating."
You smile at the God and try not laugh when you see his downcast face once he realizes he is the last one to show. Wiping your face after you finish you excuse yourself it was already nearing noon and you still hadn't even looked at the moutain of paperwork on your desk. Wanda watches you go. Over the next three weeks you and Wanda grow closer she begins training with you and Natasha in the mornings and you read with her sometimes in the afternoons, you don't question her about Pietro's comment after your cooking fiasco and Wanda never says anything about it because that woukd mean admitting to you that she was desperate to spend time with you.
"Soo?"
Natasha ask as the two of you jog around the gardens. It was early afternoon in fall, the cool winds combating your rising body heat making the jog enjoyable.
"Nothing."
"Yebat' will she ever make a move?" (Fuck)
You merely shrug.
"I don't know, I'll start showing signs of heat by the end of the week if that doesn't trigger her there's no hope."
Natasha laughs at that.
"Tak khochetsya al'fu, da?" (So eager for an alpha eh?)
"Not just any alpha, Wanda."
The week passes slowly and as the weekend gets closer your pheromones get stronger. The team knew your heat was approaching as they kept a calander for the Alphas so they could know when to distance, well everyone except Wanda apparently. Its Thursday night by the time she's had enough of your distance and decides to ask why you aren't at the table for dinner with the rest of the team.
"Where's (Y/N), I swear I haven't seen her all week."
Natasha sends a small smirk Wanda's way before Steve speaks up.
"Her heat is approaching so she is keeping extra distance for everyones saftey, she should come back around a week or so from today."
Pink hue coats Wanda's cheeks as the thought of you in heat takes over her mind and the pink only gets darker as her hard on begins to form in her pants. Her mind plummets into thoughts about your slick, and body. Thoughts about filling you with her seed and you being full with her pups causes her to be embarrassed by how hard she's become. If not for the table her bulge would be hard to miss. Wanda remains in a fog for the rest of dinner try as she might she couldn't get her mind off mating you and as everyone stands to part ways she remains seated making the excuse that she'd clean up the kitchen. Wanda strained painfully against her pants she could almost smell you now.
Rubbing your sides you walk towards the kitchen dinner should be over by now and you're starving. You need to get as many calories in as you can before you succumb to your heat tomorrow. The pain was slowly starting to set in and you'd be lying if you said you were looking foreward to the next seven days. You let out a groan as you turn the corner a sudden sharp pain stabbing your side. As you enter the threshold of the kitchen goosebumps rise on your skin the familiar smell of Wanda infultrating your nose before your eyes lock with the alphas. You're almost sure you see Wanda begin to tremble but you quickly begin to back away.
"I'm sorry I thought everyone would be gone by now."
You go to retreat from the kitchen and Wanda stands so quickly her chair falls behind her. In a second she's in your face grabbing you softly by the jaw making you look at her.
"Omega."
She whispers as she sniffs at you rubbing her nose against your cheek before falling to your scent gland.
"Mate."
She whispers again and you chirp. Your omega finally satisfied being acknowledged by your alpha. For a few minutes nothing happens, the two of you stand there relishing eachothers presence. You chirp at her as she lightly growls at you and you feel satisfied, whole even. Then you are painfully reminded of your situation causing you to sharply intake air and groan. Wanda growls louder at the noise of your distress and you whimper.
"It hurts."
Wanda's grip on your jaw becomes tighter, pushing you into the wall before pressing her own body against yours.
"Tell me where it hurts, I'll take care you shchenok." (Puppy)
You groan again, your heat suddenly over taking your senses as a result of having your mate so close. Your hands raise to grip Wanda's arms tightly, nails digging into her skin through the fabric of her shirt.
"Need you, please. Alpha. Mate."
Your words come out as little whimpers. Your panting, you don't know why but suddenly you can't get enough air for full breaths. So caught up in Wanda you don't even process you're about to be mated in the tower kitchen but honestly you don't care either. Wanda however does she feels territorial, primal even. She needs you to herself, needs privacy with you. She'd attack anyone who might see your bare body if she mated you here. Her room was on the other side of the compound, the alpha side far from the omegas and living area but your room was just down the hall. Wanda releases your jaw hands moving down your body till she reaches the back of your thigh. You bite your lip enjoying the electricity you felt from her touch. As she picks you up you wrap your legs around her torso tightly. Her hands against your thighs causing your sex to tingle. You wrap one hand around her neck before running the other through soft red hair. You return to chirping at her, the feeling of finding your mate an overwhelmingly happy one. You rub your cheek against hers softly and the alpha lightly growls in acknowledgment. You are consumed by Wanda's presence unable to focus on anything but her. When she lays you lightly on your bed you aren't even sure where you are, you just know you're there with her. Wanda bends over you, tucking her nose into your scent gland once more and growling loudly. She needs you, needs you marked, claimed. Needs everyone to know you belong to her.
"Mate."
The word is once again a whisper but you hear it all the same. The time to romantically strip you would have to be later gripping opposite sides of the loose shirt you wore the alpha literally tears the cloth off of you exposing your bra cladded torso to her. Your breathing speeds up the intimacy of the moment undeniable as you feel Wanda begin to run her lips down your body. It was like electric shock, the currents Wanda's touch sent through your body. She magiced your bra away completely exposing your upper half and growling as her soft lips wrapped around your nipple. You moan loudly in response, it felt good too good. You could get lost in this sensation alone.
"Mine."
Wanda growls against your skin before moving along to your other nipple. Your hands grip at Wanda through her clothes before you whimper.
"Need to feel you alpha."
Wanda growls in response, her eyes glowing red as she magics away her own clothing her skin now pressing against yours. She moves back up your body mouth hovering close before she lays claim to your own. The kiss is magical, the locking of your lips causing what you could only descibe as bliss throughout your whole body. You felt like you were glowing arms and legs wrapping around the alpha tightly you were sure this must be heaven. Wanda began to grind against you through the fabric of your pants, your underwear gliding against your excessive amount of slick. You blush, embarrassed by how wet you truly are from so little foreplay but the feeling doesnt last long when Wanda growls above you. Wanda pulls your pants off your waist guiding them down your thighs just enough to expose your slick and shudders when the smell of you tingles her nostrils. She's overcome with the need to knot you, breed you as she makes her mark on your neck. But she also feels the feral need to take you, to have your slick dripping down her chin as she causes you to come apart on her tongue. Starting with the latter she pulls your pants off quickly. Breaking away from your lips to slowly kiss down your body. You take a long gasp of air eyes dialating as you watch Wanda work her way down. Your hips begin to twitch unable to stay still at the excitement of what was about to come. Wanda's hands move to firmly grip your waist holding you in place as she kisses your stomach moving lower and lower your stomach muscles flex, a wave of arousal flowing through you. When she reaches her destination her hands move to your thighs lifting them up to hold you wide open for her. You're leaking, literally and Wanda can't wait to have a taste. She dives in slurping up the excess before moving to your center. Sucking on your clit then tongue fucking you like a woman starved. Your slick quenches a thirst Wanda didn't even know she had tongue lapping at your clit before quickly moving towards your hole eager to drink up the slick as a result. It doesn't take long and under normal circumstances you're sure you would of been embarrassed but none of that matters when your muscles spasm. Back arching in the most intense orgasm you've ever experienced, your thighs shake, eyes shut, mouth open in a silent scream. Wanda doesn't stop eagerly drinking up your orgasm before wanting, no needing you to do that again. You whimper in overstimulation but don't stop your alpha, just as turned on by her need for you. You squirm against the red heads mouth a little towards her a little away, this time you last longer if only for your slight sensitivity causing time before the feeling was pleasurable again yet you cum all the same. Wanda moans loudly as you release into her mouth again. She could do this all day she's sure of it. But now as her precum begins to soak her boxers she knows its time. Lifting onto her knees between your legs red eyes glow as her pants disappear and through your haze you see her in all her glory. You reach down gripping her in your hand moaning at the size while she moans at the sensation. You pump her, an overwhelming feeling to suck her down your through the way she'd done you comes over you but Wanda quickly grabs your hand removing you from her.
"You're going to make me bust shchenok." (Puppy)
Wanda hesitates a second if only to allow her own incoming orgasm to subside, she needed to bury herself in you and it wouldn't look good for her if it ended just as quickly as it started. In the meantime she leans down over you meeting your lips in a hungry kiss the taste of you on her lips causing another wave of your own slick to pool between your legs. You push at her lower back willing her to enter you but she resist. Kissing you eagerly before breaking to kiss to move towards your scent gland, you pant quickly. Wanda's kiss having stolen all the air from your lungs.
"Mine."
Wanda whispers against you, hips beginning to grind against your slick in order to lubricate herself. You shudder in response.
"Yours alpha, take me. I want to be yours."
Wanda reaches down gripping herself in order to slowly slide into you. She's thick stretching you out in ways only she can, the burn sends waves through you and by the time she's completely sheathed you're a whimpering mess.
"Yebat' you're so tight." (Fuck)
She pulls out only to slam back into you, her pace is brutal, hips slamming against yours hitting a sweet spot you didn't even know you had repeatedly. Your moans are as loud as the sound of your wet slick sucking Wanda back in. You claw at her wanting her impossibly closer as she fucked you into next week.
"Holy fuck I'm cumming. Alpha. Alpha."
Your eyes roll back as you arch. The orgasm makes you see white and Wanda doesnt stop. You squirting fueling her ego.
"That's right shchenok. You love the way your alpha fucks you, love how deep I am in you. Look shchenok can you see me."
Wanda brings your gaze down the visible bulge in your stomach when the alpha bottoms out causing your stomach to tighten.
"I'm right here."
Wanda says as she pushes down on the bulge and you spasm again another light orgasm washing through you.
"Fuck I'm gonna fill you up, get you pregnant with my pup."
Wanda pumps into you harder, her knot slamming against your entrance as she nears her own release.
"Alpha. Alpha."
You whimper to fucked out to form any other words.
"You're gonna look so pretty swollen with my seed all mine."
You moan again as Wanda bends towards your scent gland the feel of her canines against your neck enough to almost send you over the edge. She sinks her teeth into you right as you hear a pop. Her knot having settled inside you easily combined with the blackout orgasm of your mating bite. When you come to Wanda is still knotted deep inside you. Nuzzling at your cheeks with a low growl. You chirp back to weak to do much else and Wanda hums.
"My mate, my omega."
10 months later.
You were exhausted, to say the least. A new born was a lot of work and a lot of lost sleep. Wanda wasn't here, literally dragged away for a debrief she was required to attend. If you were honest you didn't mind, she'd been slightly smothering you since you gave birth and while you loved her for it just because you gave birth didn't mean you were no longer a functioning adult. You'd been picking petty arguments since your third trimester which you always felt bad for. It was the hormones combined with being put on bedrest so you didn't get to do your job combined with sexual frustration since the doctor said it was no longer safe for intercourse. You sighed as you stepped out of the shower, now with the added insecurities about the changes in your body since pregnancy and child birth you weren't sure you even wanted Wanda to touch you. Ignoring the mirror you dry yourself before wrapping a towel around you. Exiting the bathroom right as your little baby boy woke up with soft cries. You coo at him lifting him out of his crib you lose your towel throwing it over the side in order to hold your baby against your bare chest. You were barely one month postpartum but glad to be past the part where you were in a sense literally wearing a human diaper. Your son instantly calms at the sound of your heart beat as you bounce him lightly moving to sit in your bed you lean against the headboard letting out slightly pained noises as you try and relax your overworked back. You cover your lower half with the blanket already feeling the chill of the room as you begin to hum at your son. You don't hear the door open to focused to the little boy in your arms, getting comfortable as you move him to breast feed. You hiss as he begins to work at your sore nipple but eventually relax becoming accustomed to the pain. You rub his little head of hair softly smiling at him a fullness in your heart only created by the birth of your child as Wanda makes her pressence known.
"You're so beautiful dorogaya." (Dearheart)
You bite back your own insecurities at her comment humming in response. Looking up you meet Wanda's piercing eyes before meeting her lips in a kiss.
"I mean it dorogaya or have you forgotten I can hear your thoughts."
You can't help but frown not used to not being able to keep secrets.
"But...."
"Ah ah ah no buts, you're even more beautiful now than the day we met. Pregnancy and childbirth has given you a glow nothing else can."
You sigh a familiar warmth filling your chest in response to Wanda's love.
"YA tebya lyublyu." (I love you)
You whisper your free hand coming to rub against Wanda's cheek.
"I ya lyublyu tebya. Forever and always." (And I love you)
323 notes · View notes
lucid-loves · 4 months
Text
Taste Like Venom ~ Simon "Ghost" Riley Part 6
Pairing: Ghost x assassin!reader (fem!reader, no use of y/n, callsign “Hex”)
Word Count: 4.8k
CW: angst, violence, blood, strong language, scars, enemies to lovers trope, slow burn, fluff, clear attraction and sexual tension, smut later on, reader POV and ghost POV, minors dni, Soap lives in this AU
Let me know if I missed any CWs.
Story Synopsis: After Makarov gets away once again, Laswell decides to force a favor from you, the world’s greatest assassin and best-kept secret. You are now expected to help the 141 with taking down Makarov in addition to playing nice with them. It’s hard to play nice when you have always worked alone. It doesn’t help that one of the team members, Ghost, gets curious about you in each interaction. 
Chapter Synopsis: Kate calls you with some news about the mole. Ghost stops by your room a couple hours before you are all meant to leave in order to spend some more private time with you. When everyone leaves to board the early train to Paris, he is still adamant about sticking to your side. 
Part 1 ~ Part 2 ~ Part 3 ~ Part 4 ~ Part 5 ~ Part 6 ~ Part 7 ~ Part 8 ~ Part 9 ~ Part 10
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Dinner went smoothly. A little awkward for you, but fine. You mainly just listened to the conversations, not feeling comfortable enough to include yourself just yet. The 141 respected your boundary, only cracking jokes and discussing things that showed off their personalities. Kyle was the most mellow out of the group, despite being the youngest. Soap was definitely the loudest, a jokester. At least he was confident. Price was level-headed but sharp. He wasn’t afraid to tease his team when the opportunity was just right.
And Ghost? You got to see a new side of him. One that was more open around his teammates. Considerate, but snarky every now and then. Dry, blunt, caring. The side you were already familiar with though was still there at dinner. The entire time during dinner, he secured himself right beside you, close to you. He didn’t seem all that happy when Kyle sat next to you on your other side too. Every so often, Ghost’s leg would brush against yours, the exuding heat making you shiver. He really ran warm.
At some point, you caught on that he was brushing his leg against yours on purpose. He did it every time Gaz ended up bumping your shoulder during a fit of chuckles, completely by accident. It didn’t bother you too much, having grown more comfortable around the men as time passed during dinner. 
However, it completely bothered Ghost. He knew that Kyle didn’t mean any harm. He most likely wasn’t realizing that he was doing it. Yet, it still bothered him. He’s the only one that wanted the privilege of touching you. By accident or on purpose. It scared him a little, the sinking feeling he got every time Gaz’s shoulder brushed against yours. The feeling of jealousy. He didn’t know that he was the jealous type. 
Once dinner was over, everyone retreated back to their bedrooms to try to get some rest in. Ghost lied in his bed, Soap having taken over the shower as soon as they got back to the room. He closed his eyes, trying to see if he could actually rest up. 
Simon has always struggled with sleep. Whenever he closed his eyes, he would see nightmares. Experiences that he has gone through that he wouldn’t even wish upon his enemies. The flashbacks were a bit more tolerable when his eyes were just resting. They were just images in his mind. It was when he actually fell asleep that his nightmares came to life. There have been plenty of moments where he would jump up in bed, clutching his chest and trying to get his panicked breathing under control. Sometimes his skin even twitched painful from where he would be stabbed, shot, or even bitten within his dreams. 
He’s always dreaded sleeping. However, this time, when he closed his eyes and took deep breaths, he didn’t see his past behind his eyelids. He saw you. You tossing him the book you’re letting him borrow, you starting the fire in the cabin, you listening intently to confidential conversations, you giving him a teasing smile with the sunset behind you. He even saw you on top of him, hips pressed against his and a knife to his chest. Before he knew it, he was imagining a replay of that entire situation, only this time, you were dressed in only your panties and t-shirt like the first day he met you. Your t-shirt would weigh down with gravity as you would straddle him. He would have been able to see your cleavage. The thin fabric of your underwear would drive him crazy too. It would make him want to just rip them to shreds just to see all of you without a barrier. 
All of these thoughts were involuntary, but Ghost was having a hard time trying to stop them once they started. It wasn’t until he heard the sound of the shower turning off that he opened his eyes back up to stop the dirty film in his mind. When he sat up and looked down, he cursed under his breath. Really? A fucking boner? Again? What were you doing to him? 
He got up and shifted his pants just as Soap came out of the bathroom, feeling refreshed and ready for some sleep. When he saw his lieutenant standing and putting on some boots, he raised his brow curiously. “You going somewhere, Lt?”
“Gonna walk around a little. Burn some extra energy.” He made up, hoping the excuse would be enough for Soap to drop it. Hopefully, Soap wouldn’t look too closely at him either. 
Johnny nodded and headed towards the room’s mini-fridge, helping himself to an ice cold water bottle. As Simon left, Soap didn’t notice the slight bulge in his pants. Although, he did notice the lieutenant walking a little differently. Not unlike the way most boys had to walk when they were trying to hide something they couldn’t control due to puberty. He held his breath to avoid laughing. Right up until the door was closed with a click. Soap never thought that he would see Ghost so down bad for anyone.
Simon headed up to the rooftops to get some alone time. He’s been meaning to find some more time to finish the book you lent him. Finding a comfortable spot leaning against the wall, he cracked open the book and began to read, a military-grade flashlight illuminating the words on the page.
~
The time ticked slowly through the night, having you wonder if time had actually stopped. There were still a couple of hours left before it was time to check-out, so you tried to fill the time as best as you could. You just stepped out of the shower, a long, warm one. You normally took quick showers that were lukewarm at best. When it was the hotel paying the hot water bill, however, you didn’t really care about how long your shower was or how hot the water rushed. 
It was heaven feeling the water pressure massage your tense muscles. The scent of clean steam and soap helped you relax as well. You weren’t one for the standard, generic soaps that most hotels provided. You preferred your own scents, your own soaps that you were accustomed to. The scents that helped you feel most comfortable in your own scarred skin.
By the time you turned off the shower, your fingertips had turned pruny and you were craving a cold beverage. Wrapping a towel around your frame, you stepped back out into the beverage to pick a fruit juice from the fridge. As you sipped, the phone on your desk started to vibrate. There was only one person in the world that could call you. If she was calling at this hour, it must’ve been important. 
“Kate.” You greeted nonchalantly. 
“Hex, how are you doing?” She started with small talk. She always started with some small talk with you before discussing the important matters. Usually it was because she had to butter you up so she could ask for a favor. 
Lucky for her, you didn’t mind it. “I’m fine. We’re making good progress with the mission. I’ve been getting to know the boys too. They’re not half bad.”
You could practically feel Kate beaming through the phone at your confession. She was incredibly excited for you. “That’s great to hear! I figured that you would get along with them better than anyone else. I told you they were good men.”
“Let’s not get ahead of ourselves just yet. There’s still a lot to do and a lot I don’t know. I haven’t given them my complete seal of approval yet.” You teased, a small smile gracing your own face as you imagined how happy Kate was. You couldn’t remember the last time you witnessed her smile.
She gave a warm laugh before clearing her throat. “John has told me about what he thinks of you as well as how you’ve been interacting with the team. It was a rocky start, but he told me that you had dinner with them tonight. Really, Hex. I think this is good for you. They’re good for you.”
“Anyway, talking about this isn’t the only reason why I called. I wanted to give you an update on our potential mole situation.” She continued, her tone shifting to proud and carefree to serious and grave.
You took a seat on your bed, preparing to hear the report. “And?”
Laswell paused for a while before releasing a shaky breath. “At the original checkpoint where you were supposed to pick up an armored vehicle, there was an ambush waiting. Makarov’s men. The vehicle wasn’t stolen, so there is no way that they were just there to steal military property. Their only reason for being there was to apprehend the 141.”
“So we have a mole situation after all.” You groaned. When it came to things like this, you hated being proven right. It wasn’t like you liked these kinds of things happening, waiting to brag like a child. This was serious.
“Your hunch was right and you have proven it. The only people that knew where the 141 was going and where they were supposed to be were me and Shepherd. Shepherd doesn’t suspect that I have been turning in false paperwork, but he has questioned me on where you guys were. I think in his panic, he bought my lie. He seemed spooked.” She elaborated in detail.
“Have you told the boys yet?” You inquired. From her tone, it sounded like she hadn't.
“Negative. I figured that you should break the news. Besides, I don’t have anything concrete yet. If tried in court, Shepherd could brush it off as a mere coincidence. Legally, I have to be careful with who I tell and how I say things. I’m going to keep digging on my end, see about getting something on record. You guys just keep going. Take down Makarov.” She decided, her determination clear in her decision. Kate wasn’t one to let these kinds of things brush under the rug. Her sense of justice was too strong for that, even if Shepherd was her superior.
You trusted her to get the job done. She was really risking her job with this one. The least you could do was play a little secretary for her. “Got it. Thanks, Kate. And be careful. If Shepherd is willing to release confidential information to Makarov for his own gain, who knows what else he may do to ensure that no one finds out.”
“Thanks for the warning, Hex, but I don’t think I have anything to worry about. I have an assassin on my side after all. The best in the world.” She claimed, her tone light again.
She wished you good night and hung up, leaving you to process the turn of events. It was going to be tough breaking the news to the team. You could imagine that they were going to get very angry when they finally do know. 
You got up from your bed to finally get changed. Just as you were picking out some underwear, there was a knock on your door. Without thinking much of it, you yelled out. “Come in.”
Ghost unlocked the door and waltzed right in only to see you in nothing but a fluffy towel. He reacted to his surprise with anger. “What the fuck, Hex? Why would you invite me in if you were still naked?!”
“A good soldier shouldn’t get distracted by nudity.” You reminded him with a casual shrug.
“Hex.” He simply warned with your call sign, his eyes roaming your body. He could see more scars covering you than before, your full arms, shoulders, and some chest now exposed to him. God, he wanted to trace every scar you had with his tongue. At the same time, he wanted to strangle you.
You rolled your eyes and scoffed, proceeding to prepare to finally get dressed. “If it really bothers you that much, then turn around for a minute. There are more important things to worry about right now.”
He grumbled curses under his breath. How dare you put him in such a dangerous situation! Either he turned around and admitted that it did bother him, or he watched you change. For him, it meant sacrificing some pride while the other meant sacrificing his cool. And he just recently calmed down his dirty thoughts of you too. 
To you, it really didn’t matter. He had already confessed that he cared about you as a teammate. He wanted you safe. What did you have to worry about in this situation? 
In the end, he opted to turn halfway around. He could still see you just out of the corner of his eye, but he tried to keep his gaze straight. Still though, he ached to see you. Even the blurry figure of you nude was such a fucking tease.
You dropped the towel and slipped on some underwear followed by a shirt with a different band on the front. Briefly, you looked over to Simon who stood with his arms crossed, clearly irritated. You contemplated putting on some pants for a moment before ultimately deciding against it. You preferred to be comfortable at night. When he heard you sitting down on the bed, he turned back around.
He didn’t know what drove him crazier. You completely nude, you in nothing but a towel, or you in pajamas that just left a little something to his imagination. How infuriatingly attractive.
“Might want to take a seat for what I’m about to tell you.” You gestured to the desk chair, waiting for him to take a seat. When he settled himself in, hands strategically placed in his lap, you began with your update.
“Kate just called. She said that Makarov’s men were planted at the original checkpoint, hoping to ambush you. Shepherd is definitely a mole given the circumstance, but she needs time to gather more evidence that would hold up in court.” You pulled the band-aid right off. Your bluntness was usually something that knocked people off their feet. Hence, the offer to sit.
Ghost sat in silence, feeling betrayed. He wasn’t surprised. Not in the slightest. Ever since Shepherd allowed Shadow Company to take over in Mexico, he’s never trusted him again. Soap and himself almost died from that incident. More than once too. When Shepherd disappeared afterward, Ghost thought he was a coward. Lucky though. If Shepherd stuck around, Simon would’ve most likely lost his shit on him if one of his teammates didn’t do it first. 
He clenched his fists, knuckles cracking menacingly. He could kill someone. Specifically Shepherd. All he could think about now was wrapping his hands around his neck and squeezing down as hard as he could. Hard enough to have his eyes pop out of his skull. “Fucking Shepherd. . .”
You weren’t surprised by his reaction. It was exactly how you expected to go. Anyone would be upset about this. Especially the 141. You’ve read those mission reports. You knew about what transpired in Mexico. However, you were worried that Simon was going to pop a blood vessel. You wanted to make sure that Laswell got back her down deposit on the hotel rooms too. 
Simon didn’t notice you getting up, his vision only seeing red. Once you softly touched his shoulder, though, all he could see was you. Your hair still damp, your eyes more warm, and your fresh scent flooding his senses. It calmed him down, his blood pressure going down. Yet, his heart didn’t slow. In fact, it seemed to quicken even more at your proximity to him. Your scars, your hint of cleavage, your thighs. You exposed so much on the surface. But he wanted to explore your depths.
He stood up from the chair, almost causing it to fall over from his force. Your quick step back wasn’t fast enough to escape Simon’s reach. In less than a second, he threw off his mask, grabbed your face, and smashed his lips against yours. He couldn’t fight his attraction to you anymore. He wanted everything from you and he wanted it now.
It startled to be kissed so suddenly. To be grabbed and pulled towards him. He should’ve known better by now. At first, you growled in protest, fight mode kicking in as your natural instinct. You haven’t yet registered what he exactly was doing. Hands gripped his firm shoulders tightly, prepared to push him away. Once your brain flashed with the image of his face, you finally melted. 
You only managed to see his face for a split second, but it was more than enough to know that he was devastatingly handsome. A strong jaw, light stubble, and a couple of scars that told a story. His lips were perfect too, just as you had imagined. Not only to see, but to kiss as well. Mostly soft, just a little rough, all sweet.
As soon as you relaxed, Simon wrapped his arms around your waist, pulling you closer to his chest and letting his hand roam your back. Instead of easing up, he just dived deeper, his kisses getting more passionate with each second. It was making you lightheaded, moans threatening to escape as you began to feel your brain go numb. He barely gave you time to breathe as he continued to deepen the kiss, his own senses becoming heightened to how you felt on his lips.
Without warning, his hands slipped underneath your shirt to feel your bare back, causing you to gasp and shiver. Simon took advantage of your shock and slipped his tongue into your mouth, his heart going wild with the sweetness of your warm taste. You let out an involuntary moan as he took over your mouth which was more than just music to Ghost’s ears. It was the sound of heaven on earth. And he wanted to replay it like a skipping record.
Your legs were getting weak with each swipe of his tongue, the fear of having your knees buckle taking over. While you tried to grab his attention by tapping his shoulders, he just ignored you. That, or he didn’t notice. He was too busy exploring every inch of your mouth. Licking, sucking, and even biting. You were trembling with pure pleasure at this point, something that he absolutely relished with all his being. He loved feeling each shudder go through you. He loved being able to trace it up your spine to only cause more quivering. It didn’t take much longer for you to begin feeling your panties get damp with your wetness. You were practically dripping already.
It wasn’t like Simon wasn’t affected either. Pressed up against you was his rock-hard erection. One that was impossible to hide or make excuses for. 
As soon as he bit your lip in a heated impulse, you pushed him back to catch your breath. Your chest heaved, trying to fill your lungs with air. He left you breathless. “Fucking hell, Simon! You’re gonna suffocate me! You gotta let a girl have some air.”
Jesus, you needed to sit down. Your legs were shaking like a newborn deer. If you didn’t take a seat, you may very well fall to the floor. While you caught your breath on the bed, Simon went to turn the lights off. While he didn’t mind showing you his face for a moment, he wanted to return to some of his comfort zone. He had a feeling that you would prefer the comfort of the dark too for what he was about to do to you.
As the lights went out, your eyes strained to adjust to the dark. Your stomach was flooded with butterflies, your heart raced, and your skin tingled. You could hear the rustle of clothing, Simon deciding that his shirt was no longer necessary. Through the dark with adjusted vision, you could see Simon approaching you once again. His whole torso was covered in scars as well. The tattoos covering his whole forearm probably camouflage even more. Besides that, his muscles were defined, his chest and abs revealed in all their glory. This wasn’t just the body of a man. This was the body of a soldier. 
You would be lying if you said you weren’t a little scared of what was most likely going to happen. It has been a very, very long time since you’ve been with anyone. Not since fooling around in high school and a little bit right after. “W-Wait, Simon-”
“I’m not waiting and I’m not sorry.” He cut you off, his voice gruff, unapologetic. His voice was closer than you thought, the deep vibration of his vocal chords going right through you. Before you could protest further, he pushed you down on the bed, towering over you with his ripped 6’3” frame. 
Instead of your lips, he went straight for your neck, quickly finding out just how sensitive you were there as he aggressively kissed it. Your back arched, torso pressing against his as he fulfilled his desires. You bit your lip, trying to mute any moan that may escape past your lips. When his hands went up your shirt to grope your breasts, you whimpered, voice shuttering. You weren’t used to this. This lack of control. This feeling of being consumed. But Christ, did it feel so good. Especially with Ghost. Regardless, you needed his attention in order to let him know what to expect if you were to go further. “S-Simon!”
The sound of you whimpering his name made him freeze. He daydreamed about that sound. Hearing it in real life had him reeling. It had his cock twitch in anticipation too. You really fucking turned him on, whether you knew it or not. As much as he wanted to keep going, he finally gave you a chance to speak up. Hopefully, this wouldn’t take long. “Hex?”
Ghost’s own breathlessness when he said your name made your heart skip a beat. You clenched your thighs together, feeling some slickness that ended up dripping from your weeping pussy. You needed to say your piece before it’s too late. “I. . . I haven’t done something like this in forever. . .”
You trailed off, wanting to say more but you couldn’t organize the thoughts that were scrambled in your head. He made you weak. Excited. As much as you wanted desperately to keep going, there was a small part of you that couldn’t ignore the fact that you were scared. You were scared to be so vulnerable again. More than you were now. You were just beginning to open up about your personality after all.
Simon swallowed hard, noticing your apprehension. He wanted to punch himself for rushing you. For pouncing on you like a wild animal in heat. He wasn’t sorry before, but he was definitely sorry now. It made his heart ache. “You don’t want to continue, do you?”
“It’s not that simple. If I’m being honest, I want more. Fuck, I want it all. I haven’t felt this fucking excited in years. I just. . . There’s something stopping me from giving all of myself away so suddenly. . .” You tried to explain, each word out of your mouth strained. Why couldn’t it be more simple? Why couldn’t you just say “fuck it” and have the night of your life?
Ghost was amazing. Sure, you two have fought. Your fights could cause earthquakes with how intense they got. At the same time, he was strong, confident, handsome, and alluring. He hasn’t minded that you have pressed a knife against him twice already. He hasn’t cared about you biting at him with each attempt of getting close to you. He’s been stubborn and patient with you. Most people would have been scared away by now. Most people would’ve left by now. 
Yet, you still didn’t trust him completely yet due to your fears. What was that fear though? Besides being afraid of being vulnerable, what else did you fear?
His hand landed on your cheek with much more gentleness than before. He helped guide your eyes to look at him. In the depths of the dark, you could still see his blues. Vibrant like a midnight blue full of stars. His gaze has softened too. 
Your breath caught in your throat as he looked at you with such tenderness. Such remorse for what he has done to you. His small smile, though, conveyed optimism. 
Jesus, you could cry. You were starting to fall for him. 
“It’s okay, Hex. I’m sorry for pushing for something you clearly weren’t ready for. I let my emotions get the better of me. The truth is, I find you irresistible. I didn’t kiss you because I needed relief from my anger over Shepherd. I kissed you because I’ve wanted to for a while now.” He explained with full transparency, something you deserved. He wasn’t ready to admit any deeper feelings that were growing within his heart. He couldn’t make complete sense of it yet. For now, we would keep those confusing feelings hidden, but he won’t hide his attraction any longer.
He got up off of you and rubbed the back of his neck, just now feeling slightly embarrassed for his actions. He couldn’t get the kiss out of his head just yet. Nor the sound of your moans or the softness of your breasts. Simon wouldn’t be able to forget any of that any time soon.
Slowly, you sat up, adjusting your shirt that was hiked up pretty high. “Thanks for understanding. I just need more time.”
Your hand was taken up in his, a little squeeze grabbing your attention again. “I promised you that we would take things slow. I broke that promise just now. Not again.”
Relief washed over you like a tidal wave. Finally, you could breathe easier. Being with him still did things to your head and heart. Something that you would address in solitude later. Right now, you still wanted him to be with you. “What did you originally knock on my door for?”
His shoulders fell as you slowly turned back into your calm state. He loved driving you crazy in more ways than one. However, he liked you calm too. It was something he fed off of along with your other emotions. “I finished the book you recommended. I came to talk about it.”
“Well, we still have time before we have to head out. Wanna talk about it now?”
~
The train station platform was deserted. Most people were still sleeping comfortably in their beds. 
Not the 141. Not Makarov’s weapon guys either. 
They haven’t noticed any of you as you dressed in civilian clothes. Even Simon switched his balaclava for a simpler face mask, complete with a lower skull print as part of his brand. The military luggage was swapped out for regular travel luggage as well. Truly, you all looked like tourists. Maybe even residents.
You had told the rest of them about your call with Kate discreetly during check-out. Now more than ever, they wanted to take Makarov down. It would most likely lead to Shepherd’s arrest as well. They were willing to do whatever it takes, even if it meant taking your fashion advice when it was time to wear civilian clothes. You guys were in Italy. American-styled casuals weren’t going to cut it.
Makarov’s men sat in the boxcar two up from yours. Price planned on sneaking into the luggage cart to find their shipment to place trackers on later during breakfast service.You would be on the lookout when he does. Ghost would be the one to place the trackers on the men. Gaz, and Soap would check to see if they worked through their laptops within the safety of their seats. 
As of now, you all sat in a car together, waiting patiently for your opportunities. You took the window seat, looking out at the platform that eventually began to slowly pass once the train started. Ghost was sat right next to you, ensuring that you could feel the warmth of his side against you. He would make sure that this would be his spot for the rest of the ride. 
-
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roses-for-readers · 5 months
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Hello, this is my first time requesting something and i was kinda nervous and i have a few ideas in mind.
But i was wondering if you can write an avatar x maleficent readeri don’t see many of these and i would like something different, and love your writing (if you can’t thats totally fine) thx
This was such a cute idea that I had immediately started it once I got this request! I kinda did a style of the movies still exists and it's not just a random occurrence in the universe. I cut this off to have a nice and fluff type ending but with the opportunity to do a part 2 with heavy angst. And if you want one with the second movie, like it's a growth from this one, just let me know.
Finding Home ~Avatar x Maleficent! Reader
Warnings: Small injuries and a miscommunication that almost causes a fight (Tsu'tey doesn't understand human friendship dynamics)
Masterlist
Being born with wings was definitely a surprise when everyone in the delivery room when I was born. Especially when I later began to grow horns with each passing month. I could only imagine everyone's surprise when they all found out I was exactly like the Disney character Maleficent. That the story wasn't as fictional as everyone had once thought.
Growing up I had idolized the movies of her, ecstatic that I was unique just like she was. Though their were difficulties with my uniqueness as I got older. It was harder to breathe normally compared to someone that had regular problems when I had come to be about 6.
Mom worked with the RDA as a researcher, so they were willing to take a look at me to see what might be wrong. They finally came to the conclusion it was because of the lack of natural forests with fresh air. This caused me to have to use a special inhaler at least 3 times a day. But it was also a discovery that changed my life because I got to meet Grace.
"You know, I'm going to a special place. A different planet that's supposed to have a lot of trees and all kinds of animals and flowers. I think it's just the place you need to truly thrive. Do you like that idea?"
That's what led me here 21 tear years later, technically 15 if cryosleep isn't counted. A botanical expert that would be working alongside Grace and the other members of the Avatar program.
During the safety briefing, I could feel everyone staring at me. But I had become used to it and just focused on the information that was being given to us. Feeling anxious to see Grace again after so long since I first and last saw her.
After the meeting was over, I got ushered along with a Norm and Jake to go and meet up with Grace. I had a small bounce in my step as I walked along with them, not even noticing the weird looks.
"I just gotta ask. What's with the wings and horn things? You like dressing up in them or something?"
"Jake!"
I chuckled softly at the question, casually looked over at the both of them as Jake just waits for an answer as Norm looks absolutely mortified. Stretching my back slightly, I lift one wing up to hang over his had for a second. Smirking at the look of pure awe on both of their faces. "That good enough for you?"
"Holy shit," Jake softly laughed out as he stared at them for a few more seconds before shaking his head. "Now I've seen it all."
"No, I don't think you have yet." I look ahead as we get to the control center of the Avatar program. A smile spreading across my face as I take in all the technology around us, focusing mostly on the screens that were playing overhead.
The sound of one of the pods opening drew my attention away to across the room. A genuine smile coming across my face as I saw her sitting up from the machine, Dr. Grace Augustine.
Grace spoke to some of the other researchers before she turned to look at all of us. I had to keep myself from jumping in to hug her when she turned her focus to me.
Taking in my appearance, she had a small grin as she reached out and affectionately cupped my chin. "Look at how much you've grown. I don't even recognize that little kid that used to carry around a stuffed Maleficent toy like it was a part of you. I'm glad you got to join the program, (Y/n)."
"Thank you, Dr. Augustine," I bashfully reply, feeling ecstatic that she even remembered my name from one interaction years ago. "I'm grateful for the opportunity to be here and working alongside you."
"Always the modest one. That's one of the things I admired about you." She playfully shook my head before finally letting go. Her face becoming a little more stern as she looked at Jake and Norm. Speaking a little more firmly with them.
Letting her words fade into the background, I look back over at all monitors that sit in the center of the room. Marveling at the images that were showing up along with the graphs and how quickly they changed every few seconds.
"They update in real time, you know." I turn my head over to see a guy with glasses standing there with a smile. Pointing up at one of the screens, he continues, "The graphs and the numbers. They help us monitor the vitals of everyone while they are in the pods."
I let out a small 'oh' in understanding as I look back at the monitors for a couple more moment before looking back at him. Holding my hand out, I begin to introduce myself, "I'm (Y/n)."
"I heard," he chuckled out as he took hold of my hand. "My name's Max. I help track the vitals of everyone. And I'm sure everyone heard your name earlier. Grace has never been that nice to anyone before, except for the children."
"Children?" I give him a questioning look as I drop his hand. "They have children here on the base?"
"No, the Na'vi children. Oh, I bet that they are going to love you when they get a look at you." Max's eyes widen when he realized what he had said. Opening and closing his mouth as he tries to find something else to say.
"(Y/n), follow me. Time for a little academic show around." Grace calls out as she begins to head out the door with the men close behind.
Turning back to look at Max one last time, I raise my hand with another smile as I walk away. "I hope your right about that."
I lightly jog to catch up with the group as Grace leads us through the series of hallways until she pushes open a set of doors. When we enter, the first thing I noticed was the dim lighting and blue tint that almost glowed around us. The second thing was the glass tubes that held our Avatars.
Grace placed a hand on my shoulder before leading me to a specific pod off towards the back of the room. Speaking softly when we get closer, "It will take a little longer for you to get your Avatar than the others. It decided to pick up a few extra strands in your DNA that we used."
I stare in awe as I stand in front of the tank, noticing what she had meant. There laid a Na'vi body with features just like mine. Along with a small set of horns and wings that were still developing to fit the rest of the body. Stepping closer, I set my hand on the glass as I smile down at the body. "It's beautiful."
Grace stood beside me with one arm around my shoulders as she put her other hand on the glass with me. "Just like you."
While I didn't have the Avatar body, Grace still let me tag along during the research expeditions. Just as long as I promised to keep my inhaler on my person and my mask stayed on at all times if I didn't need to use it. Just because she wanted to test out the theory of me potentially being able to breathe the air here slowly and in a controlled environment.
We were carefully walking through the forest to a spot where Grace had decided to get some new samples from earlier. There wasn't much talk as we took in the sight of living plants in front of us. Or at least me and Norm were mostly focused on them.
"So, are you able to fly with your wing? Or do they not work for that?" I turn my head up to see Jake staring back at with a confused look on his face.
"I can, but not very well. There weren't many places that I could do something like that back on Earth," I casually explain to him before looking around back around at the area around us.
Grace kneels to the ground around some roots in a tree as she begins to get the equipment ready with Norm as she guides him on what to look for with the images that showed on the screen. I tried to pay attention as I looked down, but I saw Jake walk away out of the corner of my eye.
Following after him, I see him interacting with a different kind of plant. The moment he touched it, it retracted towards the ground as a defense mechanism. I smiled as I watched him do it again with the same result. We both laughed slightly until all of them went to the ground to reveal a small group of the native animals.
We both hold our breaths as one of them gets closer to us. Grace comes running over with Norm as she calls out to Jake. "Don't move. It's only a defense tactic. Just stand your ground."
I watched as he stared down the creature until I felt the hair on the back of my neck stand up. Slowly turning my head around and up, I saw a different animal with sharp fangs staring down at me. I held my breath out of fear as it looked over at Jake and let out a low growl. Jumping over the both of us, it stared down at Jake as he took a step back.
"What do I do with this one?" Jake called over to Grace as he locked eyes with the predator in front of us.
It let out another low growl when Grace called back, "Definitely run!"
I barely processed the fact that Jake had turned around to start running. I let out a small scream as he lifted me over his shoulder. I held onto his shoulder as I helplessly watched as the creature chase after us through the dense forest.
Suddenly Jake came to a halt which caused me to look over to see we had gotten to a cliff edge near a waterfall. "What are you doing?! Go!"
"Can you swim?!"
"Fucking jump!" I apparently didn't have to tell him a second time when a deafening roar sounded through the trees. He pulled me down to his chest and jumped down as he stiffened his body. I wrapped my wings tightly around us right before we hit the surface.
Water rushed past us for a few seconds before Jake began to swim upward. Pushing away from him to start swimming myself, we raise our heads over the surface. Jake gasped for air as we both look to see the creature slowly walk back into the forest.
I let out a small sigh as we swim over to the shore and check for any injuries. I glare at Jake after making sure I was fine from the fall. My voice laced with a subtle anger when I say, "'Can you swim'?"
Jake looks at him as he raises a hand as he backs away. "I was trying to make sure you would be safe if we-"
"Can you swim!? Can you fucking swim!? That's the first thing you thought of!? Not, 'is your mask waterproof' or 'is the thing catching up'! You could have thrown me and I would have flown down while you jumped if you were that worried! But 'can you swim' was all you could think of!?"
"You know," Jake began talking as he turned around and started to walk through the forest, "you are very angry for someone that looks like a Disney character."
"She was a villain to begin with anyways. Maybe you should watch your back Sully." I continue to glare at his back as I walk behind him deeper into the forest.
He looks over his shoulder with a smile as he takes in my disheveled appearance. Trying his hardest to hold in his laughter as he shrugged. "Grace wouldn't let you."
"Grace isn't here," I whisper to myself as we continue to walk. I hear noises of unknown animals from deep in the forest. Despite being mad at Jake, I quicken my pace to be walking beside him. Looking up at the trees, a strange feeling coming over my body as I scan the leaves overhead. "Jake..."
"I know," he mumbled as he carefully scans the trees as well. Reaching a hand out, he gently takes hold of my arm and pulls me to his side. "I feel the eyes too."
"Where are they? What are they?" I hold onto his arm as I start to breathe a little erratically. Using my free hand to rub at my chest as I begin to cough.
"Hey, hey. Calm down there. We'll be okay." Jake looks down at me as he stops walking. Kneeling down a little as his hand goes to my soaked bag. "You need your inhaler 3 times a day, right? You haven't used it since breakfast. Let's get it out and take a deep breath. Can you get it out?"
I nod my head as I let him take the bag off my shoulder. Trying to take a few shaky breaths as I begin to rummage through everything that I had packed. Quickly grabbing hold of the inhaler the moment I uncover it from under everything else. Pulling it out as I shake it lightly as I look at Jake. He gives a small nod, which help my nerves as I bring my free hand to my mask. Pulling it up just enough, I bring my inhaler up to my mouth and take a deep breath. Pulling it away almost immediately to secure my mask back into place with a deep breath.
Jake rubs my shoulder as he waits for me to catch my breath. Giving me an encouraging nod as holds my bag open as I put my inhaler back inside. "There we go. Come one, we need to keep moving. It's going to be night in a few hours and we need to find a place to spend the night."
I nod my head again as I look back at the trees above. Taking my bag back from him and securing it on my shoulder before we began to get on our way once again.
The sun had went down just a little over an hour ago. The sounds of multiple animals circling around us was all that I could hear as Jake began to sharpen a stick. I anxiously look around the trees to try and find where the animals might come from, but they just kept circling around just past our line of sight.
"(Y/n), look at me," Jake speaks in a slightly stern voice as he grabs my arm. As I look at him, I see the fear in his eyes at the situation. But he keeps his composure as he keeps talking as if he wasn't to begin with. "If anything happens, if I tell you to run, you forget about me and get out of here. You fly up and get into a tree until morning when Grace will come back and find you. You look after yourself and I know that you'll be fine. Do you understand?"
I quickly nod my head to show that I understood. I was going to say something to him, something about how it wouldn't have to come to that, but the words stopped short as the bushes right beside us rustle. I can't even fully comprehend it before Jake began to push me away in the opposite direction as we started running again.
We didn't run for long until the animals began to circle us in. I ended up with my back pressed against a tree as the dog like creatures snapped their teeth at Jake. I shut my eyes as soon as he begins to fight off the creatures. I didn't want to watch if he potentially had to kill a few of them before they hopefully ran off somewhere else.
Just as soon as everything got crazy, everything went quiet. I hesitantly opened my eyes to see Jake on the ground as a Na'vi woman kneels down to one of the creatures. Though I couldn't quite make out what she was saying, I could tell she was mumbling a prayer for the creature. That act alone made me look down and away from her, remembering how Grace told us of how sacred life was to the people.
Jake apparently wasn't informed of that or didn't remember as he tried to get closer to her, reaching out and touching her shoulder as he repeatedly tried to thank her. I had to keep from laughing as she swung her bow and hit Jake right in the face. I didn't do that good of a job as she looked over at me with a small hiss before turning around and running into the forest.
Jake quickly got off the ground and followed after her. I didn't even have the chance to protest as he called out from over his shoulder. "Come on (Y/n)."
I quickly made sure my bag was still closed, I ran after the both of them. Though it was a little harder considering that they were larger and more physically equipped to be jumping around the limbs of the trees.
"Hey, wait up!" Jake called out to the Na'vi as we got to a tree that was decently high up from the ground. He had just caught up to her when she turned around to face him.
"Away. Both of you," she spoke in a quiet tone, but the disdain was evident as she looked between the both of us. Getting so close in Jake's space that he took a step back and almost slipped. I held my breath as I watched Jake try to reason with her, even blocking me from her view by steeping to the side just slightly.
I tried to keep focused on the situation, but something moved closer to us out of the corner of my eye. Turning my head out of fear that another creature had followed us. But to my surprise there were small plant like things floating in the air. Slowly getting closer to us before most of them began to land on Jake. A hand full of them remained floating in the air nearby. Hesitantly, I reach a hand out to them, watching in awe as it slowly landed on my open palm. I laughed softly as it gently tickled my skin while the others continued to float around us.
After a few moments, they began to float away from us. I turned towards Jake with a huge grin at what had just happened. My gaze quickly turns curious as I see the Na'vi looking at us both in awe as well.
She looked between me and Jake before she beckoned us with a wave of her hand. "Follow me. Come now."
Jake looked like he wanted to protest her sudden change in heart, but I lightly pushed against his back to get him to follow her. With a sigh, Jake quickly began to chase after her with me following close behind.
We continue running across the tree limbs that seem to stretch on for eternity. Anxiety and anticipation coursing through my veins as the three of us go deeper into the forest.
"Where are we even-" Jake stops in the middle of his question as something comes in contact with his legs. I watch in horror as he violently falls down to the forest floor.
"Jake!" I call out as I lean over to see if he was injured. But I was forced to stop short as something wrapped around my chest. Throwing me off balance as I fall down to the ground as well, landing just a few feet from Jake. The impact leaves me disoriented as my head hits just lightly against a rock that was barely uncovered from the dirt.
I blink away the blur that comes into my vision as yelling sounds from almost every direction. A pair of hands lifts me up before one removes itself. My body tensing up entirely as I feel a sharp, cold blade carefully press right in between my shoulder blades.
Glancing over at Jake, I see he was in a similar situation with a knife pressed against his neck as they held him by his queue. But my attention quickly shifts again when the Na'vi who seems to be the leader of our ambush committee comes forward. He jumped down from his mount as he began to stalk over to Jake.
When he got just a few feet from Jake, the woman jumped down from the branch. Effectively blocking his path as the two of them began to argue between the two of them. I wasn't able to catch most of what they were saying due to how my head was throbbing due to the fall. What I could tell was that he wasn't happy with our presence and she mentioned something that involved their Tsahik.
The conversation came to a quick halt as the leader got back onto the horse like creature. He gave a short order to the rest of the group, which caused the Na'vi that were holding us to pull us to our feet. The sudden movement caused my head to spin so much that my stomach churned. I kneeled back to the ground before lifting up my mask, throwing up what little content I had in my stomach. Barely having enough time to secure my mask back on before the Na'vi begin to force me to my feet once again.
"Kehe!" The tugging on my arms stops when the woman calls out to them. They quickly let go of me when she pushes them away. She gently grabs my face with a small frown as she turns it to the side. Her voice is soft as she ghosts her fingers over a spot on the side of my head. "You are hurt. Let me help you to Hometree. You will get treated once we are there."
I don't stop her when she awkwardly wraps her arms around my body. Being tentative not to touch at the base of my wings too much as she lifts me up. I close my eyes with a small sigh as I slowly grasp at her words. My voice hardly a whisper when I ask, "We're going to Hometree?"
She shushes me as she begins to run with the rest of the group. I hold onto her with a small whine from the motions, even if I wasn't seeing the sights that were passing us by.
Before long, the movements came to a stop as soft murmuring echoed around us. I open my eyes to see that we had finally made it to the Hometree of the Omatikayan people. Many of them gathered around as the group came to the center.
I gently get set down near Jake, leaning into his side as I sway just slightly on my feet. I take another breath as I hear a conversation happening between the woman and another member of the clan. Making out just bits of what each of them were saying in the broken haze of focus that I had.
"What is he saying?" Jake's voice sounds out like a sore thumb when he asks the question. Though I couldn't tell if he was asking me solely or if it extended to the woman as well.
"My father is deciding on whether to kill you both or not." I frown at the blunt explanation she gave at the question. I barely even had time to register that information when I felt Jake move slightly before yelling sounded and I got jostled around.
My eyes immediately shot open at the motion as my wings stretched out in a defensive manner. This had caused more yelling as Jake pulled me closer to his side. But all the noise stopped when another voice calls out for silence. Everyone shifts their gaze over to see the Tsahik stepping into the center of the circle.
I blink away at the dizziness that I feel when she stands in front of us. Taking a deep breath, I bring my hand up to my forehead as I do my best to greet her without messing up the pronunciation.
When I lifted my gaze back up to her, she had a small grin on her face. "I see you were taught some of our ways. Though I see that you might not know the language."
I look at her confused at what she had just said. Looking up at Jake, I speak in a soft voice, "I swear that I pronounced it right."
"You didn't say anything," Jake told me with a concerned expression.
I blink at him a couple of times before I pointed at him with a serious look. "I believe I have a concussion."
"You believe? What gave you that impression?" The sarcasm dripped from his voice as he looked back up at the Tsahik. My face scrunched up slightly before I looked back at her as well.
She slowly took out a knife that had been resting in her neckwear. She quickly stepped towards Jake as she stabbed into his chest. I cringed as she licked away the small bit of blood that was on it. She looked at Jake with a curious expression before she looked down at me again.
She was about to do the same thing until the younger Na'vi, presumably her daughter with what I was gathering, stopped her before the knife hit my chest. She gently took my hand and pointed to the center of my palm. "One touched here."
The Tsahik seemed slightly intrigued by the statement, but she didn't say anything. She gently poked her knife just enough to collect a small bit of blood on the tip before licking it way with a thoughtful look. She looked between us once more before she addressed the crowd. "The Dreamwalker and the... human, shall stay with us. They will learn of our ways and what it means to be Na'vi. We shall all watch them as they learn."
Multiple reactions sound through the crowd at the choice their Tsahik had made, but she didn't pay them any mind. Instead, she turned to her daughter while saying, "Take him to get out of his demon clothes. I will tend to the child."
"I'm in my 20s. I'm not a child," I spoke up at the comment about my age. I knew that compared to their size I probably wouldn't been seen as a full adult to them. But I had been expecting to be acknowledged as more than an adolescent.
Jake gave me a light pat on the shoulder before he reached into my bag and started rummaging around. "Let's get your head working right first before you argue how old you are. But you're going to use your inhaler first before you get out of my sight again."
I let out a sigh as he pulled my inhaler out and placed it in my hand. Nodding my head at his statement, I took a deep breath before lifting my mask back up and taking a couple of puffs of the medicine. I blink back my dizziness when I put my mask back into place.
Jake takes my inhaler from my hand and puts it back in my bag for me. He tilts my head up slightly so I look him in the eyes as he speaks again. "You do what she says so you get better. And don't fall asleep for at least a couple of hours so we make sure your actually okay."
"Yes, mother," I snark at him as the Tsahik gently grabbed my arm and began pulling me up the steps that they had for the tree. I was mostly nudged up the tree by her until she guided me into a small platform that was suspended between the branches. She guided me to sit down on what seemed to be a woven blanket. She moved around and collected a few plants and a small bowl before she began to grind them into a paste.
She never looked up from her task as she spoke to me in a soft tone. "You are not entirely human."
I shake my head with a bashful grin as I watch her mix the plants together. Leaning forward slightly as I try to get a better look at her process. "Everyone thinks that I have fairy blood or something. None of the scientists could really agree on one theory about my condition. Just that I had a mutation somewhere in my family tree or such."
"You used a human thing earlier. What is its purpose to you?" She continued speaking as she grabbed my chin to turn my head. Gently rubbing the paste against where I had hit my head.
I closed my eyes with a small sigh, enjoying the cool feeling on my skin. Humming softly as I think of how to explain it to her. "It's a medicine thing. I use it so I can breathe normal enough to go on day to day. A lot of humans have the same thing. I just have an extra special condition."
"You can't breathe your own air." Based on her tone, I knew she was making a statement and not asking. I opened my eyes as she removed her hands from my body. Watching as she went over to grab a few bandages and a small bowl like container.
I shook my head as she sat down next to me again. Watching as she applied a bit more of the paste to the bandages. "No. That's part of why I'm here. Grace had thought I could maybe breath the air here with the forests. But that was before everyone knew the air here was toxic to humans. But she still wants to see if I can handle. Grace wants to do a few test before we fully see if I can."
As I finished my explanation, she began to carefully wrap the bandages around my head. When she was done with that, she then grabbed the container and held it out to me. "Drink this. It will help with the pain and let you rest well through the night."
I wanted to argue that I shouldn't go to sleep anytime soon, but I stopped myself when she gave me a stern look. I took a few quick drinks as I repeatedly took my mask off so I could drink however much she saw fit. When all the liquid was gone, she finally took it from me with a small nod. Almost immediately after I put my mask back on for the last time, she began to guide me to lay down on the blanket.
I watch her walk around he area, organizing things as she went. My eyes started to flutter shut with passing second that I watched her before speaking up just slightly in the quiet space, "My name's (Y/n)."
I thought I saw her smile a little as she continued to move things around on a shelf. I heard her voice speak out one last time before I went to sleep. "You may call me Mo'at, (Y/n)."
I begin to wake up to sound of hushed giggles filtering in and out of my consciousness. With a small groan, I opened my eyes to see a group of children standing over me. As soon as they see me wake up, they let out small shrieks before running off towards the bottom of the tree. Effectively dodging Mo'at as she comes into the area with a small basket.
She smiles as the children run by before she comes back over to me and sits down. Immediately lifting me up into an upright position as she begins to undo the bandages on my head. "I see the children have already taken an interest in you."
I smile at her before glancing over at the stairs that lead down. "I guess they do. I'm just glad they aren't terrified of how I look."
"They are young. Your world makes them curious and they have never seen one of your people with your... characteristics."
I laugh softly at the last part of what she said. Looking back at Mo'at, I saw she had set aside the bandages that she put on my head last night. My gaze becoming a bit more serious as I noticed a small bit of blood had soaked into it.
"You are fine. The worst that might happen is a small scar," her voice was firm but gentle when she reassured me. Taking a few new bandages from her basket before rewrapping my head in a slightly more snug way than last night. When she was done, she gave my head a small pat before pushing the basket towards me. I noticed that it had a small arrangement of foods in it as she stood back up and moved over to a shelf. "Take the mask off so you eat. It's not of use to you if you can breathe the air."
"But we don't know if I can breathe the air. Grace hasn't done the test to see if I could." I quickly try to remind her that it was only a theory that I could live without the mask on Pandora. That I couldn't know for certain if it would possibly to even do it for even a short period of time.
"You seemed to do just fine with it being broken while you slept." My breath caught in my throat as I took in her sudden revelation.
I frantically grabbed the small oxygen tank to see that the capacity was at zero. Frantically taking off the mask, my gaze immediately fell on a small bit of glass that had broken off and leaving a small, but still noticeable, hole. I take a few small breaths to see if anything seemed off, but it all was normal as I kept taking deep breaths.
"I'm not dead," I utter in disbelief as I look back at her in confusion. My mouth hanging open as I try to piece together how that could have worked. "But... how?"
"I believe you had said something about 'fairy blood' last night. Or did you not really mean that when you told me?" Mo'at had a playful grin on her face as she glanced back over at me.
"I'm going to be perfectly honest here, after I fell off that branch last night, I don't remember much of anything. It's all a blur besides from getting here, your daughter Neytiri, and a very grumpy man who shouted a lot."
"Tsu'tey. That is the man you remember. Now eat," she spoke firmly once again before taking a few bottles from the shelf and setting down not to far from me.
I shuffled a little closer to the basket and pick out some of the fruit that was there. Taking small bites as I watch her work on refilling the herbs that she had begun to get low on. We just sat together in silence as she did her work. Occasionally, I would interrupt her work to offer her a piece of fruit that she would take with a ghost of a smile.
Our attention is soon drawn to the entrance when Jake and Neytiri come walking in. I bit back a laugh as I take in the sight of Jake, dressed in the traditional clothing and covered in mud with a few cuts here and there.
Jake immediately stops in his tracks when he looks at me with wide eyes. "Where's your mask at?!"
"It's broken." I give him a small shrug before I look over at Neytiri. Watching as she went over to her mother and motioned for Jake to come closer and sit.
"What do you mean it's broken?! How are you not dead?!" He continued standing there in disbelief. Completely ignoring the small glare Neytiri was giving him.
"I'm special or something like that." I grab another few pieces of fruit from the basket and hold my hand out for Mo'at and Neytiri. Mo'at takes a piece before Neytiri does the same with a small nod of her head.
Jake just continues to stare in disbelief as he moves over to sit down. I pass him a piece of fruit before giving him a small pat on his shoulder.
"I see he is learning well," Mo'at comments as she passes some herbs over to Neytiri.
"He's a skxawng," she responded before she crushed the leaves into small flakes before moving to rub it into his cuts.
"What does that mean?" Jake looks at Neytiri, hoping she would explain. When she ignored him, Jake looked over to me with a confused look.
"It means you're an idiot." I give Jake a smug grin when I answer his question. Eating another piece of fruit before I glance over at the entrance. Tensing up when I see the Olo'eyktan and the man known as Tsu'tey walking towards us. Lowering my gaze, I lean towards Jake and whisper to him, "Now, try not to be an idiot and keep your mouth shut when they walk in."
Jake rolls his eyes before looking at the two warriors as they walked into the area. I glance up at the two with a small frown on my face. They both look at me and Jake for a second with guarded looks on their face. The Olo'eyktan soon shifts his gaze over to Mo'at with a knowing look on his face as he tilts his head slightly towards the entrance. She nods her head in return before standing up. Mo'at affectionately brushes some hair out of Neytiri's face with a smile. Then she turned to me and softly pats my head before walking down the tree with her mate.
Once they leave, I look back at Tsu'tey to see him already giving me a small glare. I give him an awkward smile which only makes him scowl even more. "Demon," was all he said before looking back at Jake with an even deeper scowl.
"Hey there buddy boy," Jake playfully quips back as he begins trying to wipe off some of the mud on his chest with his bare hands. Though he didn't do much other than just smear the mud around as he smiled like an idiot.
"Accident," he continued to scowl as he looked Jake over. Clearly unammused by Jake's joking attitude.
"Aw. I think he likes you Jake. You should give him a big hug to become friends." I have a grin on my face as I look between the two men. Taking notice of how Neytiri looked shocked by my suggestion one time as I glanced towards Jake.
"He raises a hand towards me, I will cut him," Tsu'tey speaks in a menacing way as he glared at me.
"I know," I laugh a little as I stare straight back at him. Biting my lip as I try not to grin like an idiot at the shocked look on Tsu'tey's face.
"Okay, (Y/n). Reel in the manic for a minute. I think you're freaking them out with your humanly sense of humor." Jake slightly pushes my head in order to bring me back to the moment.
I roll my eyes with a small pout before picking up another piece of fruit from the forgotten basket. Popping it in my mouth and slowly chewing. Looking at the woven floor as I finally mumble something pointed towards Jake, "Virgin."
"What did it call me?!" My eyes widen as Tsu'tey reaches down and grabbed ahold of the front of my shirt. A small scream coming out of my mouth as Jake and Neytiri both shoot up from their spots. Both trying their hardest to get between us and remove me from his grasp.
It had been a little over a month since Jake and I had gotten to Hometree. He had been training hard as a warrior while I learned more about the plant life from the clan healers. Everything was going well for us as time went on, despite the bad start that I had with Tsu'tey. Though he seemed to be convinced that I was in fact talking about Jake and not him after I explained a few human customs that were common among friends.
Jake even had enough approval within the clan that he was able to get Grace to be able to visit. She was shocked about the fact that I hadn't been wearing my mask since we had gotten there. But she was very happy that I was thriving in the environment like she had always wanted for me. She even told me that in another month, I might finally have a viable Avatar to use if I still wanted it even though I apparently could live without it.
But living amongst the Na'vi didn't mean that everything from my life before them stopped. Especially with my unique genetic makeup.
I went over to Jake as he ate breakfast with Neytiri and Tsu'tey. He looked over at me with a smile as I nervously sat down near the group. "Well good morning. You normally don't come and join our group until it's around time for lunch."
I fidget with my fingers as I look at the group, glancing at everyone until I focus on Jake again. "I need your help with something. And I'm only asking because your a good friend and I have to do this today."
Jake's expression becomes serious as he looks over at Neytiri and Tsu'tey. They both appear confused as well when they look at me for an explanation.
I look down at the ground as I bite my lip. My face heating up as I quickly tell them what was wrong. "I'm molting."
"That's it?" Jake seems in disbelief at what I told him. He even laughed a little as he leaned closer to try and get me to look at him again. "That's not too big of a deal. I'm sure you'll be okay."
I glare up at him as I stare him down. Taking a deep breath as I begin to further explain to him the situation. "It is a big deal. I can molt for multiple days sometimes, but I need to get as much taken care of the first day. If not, I could get infections and intense back pains that could last for months. And that's on top of the pain I can normally feel due to having wings."
The smile on his face faded away as I kept talking. His eyes becoming apologetic as he let's out a sigh. "I didn't know it was that big of a deal. Are you sure it has to be today?"
"I'm very sure. Once when I was in high school, I waited two days because I had to focus on studying for some stupid geometry final. When I finally got it taken care of, over half my feathers were gone, molted and perfectly healthy ones. It took months for them all to grow back and I couldn't even sit up in my bed without having someone help me for weeks."
Jake nods his head a little with a serious look in his eyes. "Tell me what you need help with."
"Thank you," I softly mumble as I sit with my back facing him. Slightly spreading my wings for him to have an easier time with helping me. I take a deep breath as I begin to lightly guide my fingers through the feathers. "You just basically brush them with your fingers and let the bad ones fall out. If there are any that are loose but not coming out yet, leave them be. They probably just need a little time to be ready."
It took a few moments, but I finally felt Jake start to work on the back of my wings. I could tell he was hesitant to do it because he didn't want to cause me any pain. As the time went on and I didn't tell him that it was hurting, he began to get a little more confident with each movement.
There was a decent amount of feathers laying around me when I took a small break to look around. Stopping my gaze when I noticed a group of children looking over at me from around a corner a little ways from us. Most of them a little older with what seemed to be their younger siblings. They kept pointing as they whispered to one another. But one little girl stood out as she just stared in awe while looking between the pile of feather and my face.
I smiled a little as I reached my hand out, gesturing for her to come closer. She seemed a little taken aback by my action, but soon smiled as she quickly walked over. She immediately sat down beside me, leaning against my body as she excitedly reached a hand up to touch one of my horns.
"Aen'ya!" Neytiri trys to scold the girl, but I raise my hand to let her know it was fine. Neytiri looked at me with a sympathetic like look. "She is very trusting. But she also still needs to learn to keep her space."
"She's okay. Kids back on Earth would do the same thing. I'm just glad one of the children is doing something other than just pointing from a distance." I smile at Aen'ya as I speak, happy to be a part of her child like excitement. I gently take her hand and she looks spooked by the contact. But she keeps smiling as I move her to sit on one of my legs and hand her some of my discarded feathers.
As she takes them out of my hand, I look back at the small group to see them all looking back in awe. I wave my hand at them to come join as Aen'ya starts to randomly place feathers into my hair. A few of them start to laugh as the excitedly push each other closer as a couple others run off in the opposite direction.
Soon the group comes and sits down closer by as they lightly reach out and touch my wings. They are extra gentle as they laugh with each little handful of fluff they managed to pull out. By the time they have their own little piles, the others that had run off return with their arms full of strings and a couple of baskets full of other little supplies to do whatever they had planned. Passing everything around as a few of them began to hold up a combination of beads they had to my skin with little giggles.
"Wow. You look like you got dragged into a second grade art class," Jake lightly snickered as he leaned back into his original spot once the kids took over for him to get a couple more feathers.
I make a face at him which causes the children to start laughing. But the seem to take his words as an invitation, because a couple of them grab his arms and pull him to sit on the ground. A couple even go the extra mile and do the same thing with Neytiri and Tsu'tey. Neytiri seemed happy with it as she began to help them with what they each were making. Tsu'tey most just sat there with a soft scowl on his face, but he would pay attention to any of the children if they held up something for him to look over.
We all just sit there laughing with one another as the children continue to work on their projects. But soon one of the boys grabs my arm to hold it still as two girls begin tying something around my bicep. I look at it confused until I realized that they had made me an accessory with beads and a couple of my feathers hanging down. Then a few others do the same thing as they tie an anklet on me with wide grins.
I take a look at both pieces of jewelry to see just how uniquely beautiful they were. Smiling as I open my arms out to pull each of them into a hug as a thank you. They all laugh as they begin to lean into my arms for one big hug.
A warm feeling came into my chest as I just held all the children close to me. Staring at each of them as a sense of peace washes over me. Similar to the feeling I had when I watched the movies when I was young. The feeling that I had finally found the place that I truly belong.
~~~
Hi everyone! I hope you enjoyed this little installment. I'm glad for my first request and I'm going to start working on a few other add ons for Silent Treatment and Aggressive Caregiver (I need a masterlist at some point). But have a good day and remember; We are bad bitches, and bad bitches follow boycotting to the fullest. Don't actively give any money to Disney for anything. We're smart and kind people who were raised on revolutions that Disney wrote. I'm sure we can pirate movies from someplace or have the DVDs for the movies. Do your part as best you can. I love you all and stay happy for the year to come.
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elyvorg · 3 months
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Kieran Part Bonus: I AM SO PROUD OF MY BOY
And now for my really actually final analysis post about Kieran, covering both the epilogue and also his scenes in the League Club room once you’ve finished that. Somehow both of these relatively short pieces of content still managed to be packed with delightful nuance showcasing both how Kieran’s still struggling with his issues and yet also how much he’s grown since his main arc. They are absolutely lovely and fill me with so many warm happy feelings about my boy.
Honestly, it’s remarkable, not just from a Pokémon-writing perspective but as a piece of fiction in general, to have this kind of satisfying follow-up for a character arc. Usually once a character’s arc reaches a resolution, their story just ends there, and we don’t get to see more of how they’re processing what they’ve been through and learning to grow further in the aftermath. So it’s a really wonderful breath of fresh air to get to see something like that for once here with Kieran! The Pokémon writers absolutely did not have to make the epilogue and postgame content focused on showcasing this, and yet they did. I am, once again, pleasantly boggled by how much they cared about doing Kieran’s story justice. Just, wowzers, man. There really is no more appropriate word for my amazement than that.
(This is an epilogue, if you will, to my previous two analysis posts discussing Kieran’s character arc in The Teal Mask and The Indigo Disk! Reading those before this is probably recommended.)
Before even getting into things that are strictly from the epilogue itself, can I just say: I really love that Kieran took a mental health break from Blueberry Academy to give him some time to process things? (Okay, the game only calls it a “break”, but let’s be real, it is for his mental health, and this is Good.) It just makes me very happy that the writing acknowledged that he’d probably need something like that after what he’s been through instead of going straight back to business as normal at school – and in an in-story sense, it’s lovely that Kieran realised he needed this and didn’t try and force himself to just keep going as if nothing had happened. He’s starting to learn to take care of himself and not push himself way too hard!
Making new friends
The first lovely sign of Kieran’s growth that we see in the epilogue is that, not only does he want to catch up with you, he also wants to meet your friends from Paldea! He must have spent some time during his break thinking about the fact that you mentioned you had friends from there.
And the thing is, with Kieran’s insecurities, it would have been so easy for him to slip into a mindset of “your friends are probably way cooler than me, why would you need me”. But instead of letting himself get caught up in that jealousy spiral again, he fought against it and did the healthy thing of asking to meet them himself. Hopefully he can become friends with them too and then he’ll have nothing to feel jealous about! He outright says when he meets them, “Any friend of [yours] is a friend of mine!” Look at him go. (Arven should take notes on how not to act insecure about one’s best friend having other friends, because damn, Kieran’s managing to be more well-adjusted than him now.)
All this is also just a sign that Kieran’s hoping to try and make more friends in general. He’s such an introvert that he must have figured that’d be easier for him to do with people for whom he has a mutual friend to get to know them through. Plus, if they’re your friends, then he already has a guarantee that they’ll be good and nice people. Way more manageable for him than trying to approach complete randos.
And really, it’s such a huge remarkable thing for Kieran that he is trying to make friends now. Friends, plural! This is the kid who used to be so lonely and shunned by others that his big dream was to one day be like the ogre who, according to him, doesn’t care that it’s all alone. And maybe then, if he managed that, he’d be able to befriend the ogre – just that one other person who is also alone and outcast. It never even crossed his mind to try and imagine that one day he could be confident and worthy enough to just… have some human friends. That wasn’t even an option in his head – it was “learn to not care that he’s alone” or nothing.
And yet look at Kieran now, actively reaching out to try and make new friends! I am so proud of him.
Learning to ask for help
Soon after you meet up with Kieran, it becomes apparent that something is Very Wrong with his sister. According to Kieran’s account, it was shortly after he sent you the letter that Carmine became possessed, so it’s not that the letter was secretly a call for help in which he couldn’t bring himself to admit the actual problem.
And even now that you’re here… Kieran wasn’t going to tell you about this problem at all until Carmine happened to wander up and start mochi-dancing in front of you. He tries to play the whole thing off like it’s totally normal and she’s definitely just… excited to see you???, even though he has to know that doesn’t make any sense at all. On some level this is just because it’s really scary to admit to himself that something is very wrong and he doesn’t have a clue how to fix it. But it’s also because… he still doesn’t feel like he has the right to ask you and your friends for help.
This is one of the ways in which Kieran’s issues and low sense of self-worth from before are still lingering and have not just been magically, instantly fixed. While he may be making a conscious effort to fight through his insecurities to try and make more friends, he hasn’t started consciously tackling everything that was holding him back just yet. It seems like he imagines that asking your friends for help, these people he’s only just met, would just make him a burden on them and maybe spoil any chance he had of actually becoming their friend himself. (Although, even if you’d come to visit him alone, I suspect he’d still struggle to ask even just you for help, simply due to his old ingrained mindset that he’s not worthy enough to deserve it.)
Happily for Kieran, your friends are all good people who instantly unthinkingly offer to help without him even needing to ask them! Kieran’s sheer surprise and gratitude when this happens is so telling about his insecurities for why he didn’t feel he could ask, but it’s also lovely to see him starting to realise that his instinctive way of thinking about this is mistaken. Welcome to having friends, Kieran, this is how it works actually! Most people are good and will be happy to help out a friend in need! It’s okay to need help sometimes!
There’s another very innocuous line that I find interestingly telling about Kieran’s mindset regarding this. When you’re all at the community centre wanting to use the TV, Kieran laments that it’s stuck playing the tourism ad because the caretaker hid the remote, so Arven immediately suggests you all look for it. And Kieran reacts, in surprise, “Why didn’t I think of that?” It reads as largely rhetorical, but… it’s a good question.
Why didn’t Kieran think of just trying to find the remote? Because he’s spent so long stuck in a mindset where, if things are bad for him, it’s just what he deserves for being weak and there’s nothing he can do about it. His response to his problems during the main storyline was to completely separately fixate on making himself Stronger so that, in theory, problems would just stop happening to him entirely. It never occurred to him to try and just face and deal with his problems directly – at least not until the climactic battle with Terapagos, which was the first time he ever found the courage to take such an approach – so the notion to do so still isn’t quite habitual in his mind just yet.
Hopefully Kieran asking why he didn’t think of that wasn’t quite so rhetorical, and he was reflecting on it himself a little when he said it. He ought to realise that actually, taking action to directly solve his problems is a good thing and something he should strive to do more! He has already begun to do so in some ways by reaching out in an attempt to make more friends, at least.
Solving the problem
Kieran sure does get a lot more practice at Directly Solving Problems thanks to the events that go on to occur that night, doesn’t he. I love that the epilogue’s plot, while ostensibly just there to give players an opportunity to catch Pecharunt, is also a narrative that exists to let Kieran get to be a hero alongside you.
It’s somewhat low key, but Kieran definitely gets pretty freaked out about everything that’s happening. Which is really perfectly reasonable – though the effects of the possession are incredibly silly, it’s still got to be genuinely frightening to see people he knows getting controlled against their will by some unknown force, especially when this includes his own family. (One detail I love is that the game uses that lack of a highlight in his eyes during certain lines to communicate the fear he's feeling and trying not-so-successfully to hide; it’s a small thing, but it works so well.)
Once you’ve fought off his possessed grandparents, Kieran starts to panic, convinced it’s only a matter of time before it gets him (even though the evidence of how exactly the possession occurs is right there if he’d just stop to think about it for a moment). On some level, he must still have this sense that, if it can get all these people he looks up to, surely it’ll get him too who’s so much weaker than them. His inferiority complex is still there and affecting him, especially in this stressful situation.
Good thing Kieran has you by his side, the strongest coolest friend ever whom he knows he can rely on! If you hadn’t been there to reassure him and snap him out of it, he really might have lost himself to his panic. Or he might have just not even tried to battle the possessed people and do something about all of this in the first place – see the earlier point about how him facing problems directly is still not instinctive to him. He’s able to do so here, but a lot of that is probably thanks to being able to follow your lead. Still, this is bound to help him get better at doing so on his own in future!
Kieran’s also still a bit too liable to feel like things are his fault even when they really aren’t. He blames himself for not warning Arven and Penny about the mochi in time, even though he was literally about to do so when Pecharunt showed up and sniped mochi directly into their mouths. That can’t be called Kieran’s fault at all! He tried! (And, hey, it’s not like you made any attempt to warn them either.) But he still feels responsible for it anyway.
And he’s also still rather defeatist when it comes to facing Strong Opponents in battle. Kieran couldn’t defeat Nemona earlier in the day, so when it comes down to facing off against her in order to get to Pecharunt, he just feels like he can’t do it, end of. Really, that’s not necessarily the case – since this is an emergency and not a friendly battle for sport, there’s no reason you have to beat Nemona in a fair 6-on-6. Anything to get past her will do; the two of you could have taken her on in a 12-on-6 double battle, perhaps! Kieran did not need to momentarily feel useless in this situation, but he did, because not being able to win against someone still equates in his mind to being No Good At All. Kieran, nooo.
Happily, the narrative provides Kieran with something else to do with himself while you fight Nemona so that he is very decidedly not useless in the slightest – fighting off the entire town’s worth of people behind you??? That is equally as necessary as taking down Nemona, something without which you’d never have managed to get to Pecharunt, and it must take some incredible battling skill to be able to hold off that many opponents at once. Like, dang, Kieran. I really hope he’s able to reflect on this in the aftermath and realise how incredibly strong and cool that was of him, because it was.
(He was holding his own one-against-many, just like he always admired Ogerpon for doing!)
Kieran’s fear and pessimism also show through just a tiny bit as you’re fighting Pecharunt at the end, when he reacts to the fact that you were able to damage it. Apparently he was afraid that this thing would be completely invulnerable and it just wouldn’t be possible for even someone as amazing as you to beat it and stop the curse. Yikes, that must have been a scary thought. But still, it all worked out in the end! Kieran’s learning that even when things are scary and feel overwhelming, by facing up to them and doing his best, it’ll usually turn out okay! Especially because he’s not alone and has friends by his side to support him now.
And, hey, one way or another, it seems like the events of the epilogue did help give Kieran that last little push he needed to decide to go back to Blueberry Academy! I imagine he was already thinking about doing so – he is actually a very stubborn and determined person at his core, so I don’t think he could ever have been considering just giving up on it – but all of this probably helped give him the confidence to make that leap. The thought of apologising to everyone for how he acted must still be incredibly daunting – but, he’s begun to realise that he can face scary things!
His old Kitakami team
During the epilogue’s battles, I was absolutely delighted to see Kieran send out Poliwrath, one of the Pokémon he used in Teal Mask but not in Indigo Disk – because this is proof that he’s been reconnecting with the Pokémon friends he left behind back then! As it turns out, the rest of his team for these multi battles is the same as his Champion team, with only the Polis switched, but even so, Poliwrath’s presence is enough to be a promising sign for all of his old Pokémon friends.
And this gets further confirmed by his dialogue with Arven in the clubroom! Arven asks Kieran which of his Pokémon he’s closest to, and he mentions his Hydrapple (which has been with him since it was an Applin), his Poliwrath and Politoed, his Yanmega, and his Furret! This accounts for all of the Pokémon Kieran had in his Teal Mask battles up to the third one, after which he started to fixate hard on getting stronger to prove himself to you, so these are likely all of the Pokémon that were friends of his from the start. And he still considers them friends now, which means he reconnected with them all and apologised as necessary for any leaving them behind/thinking they were weak/etc that he might have done! Yes good, Justice For Furret was had, I could not be happier.
(Okay, we never saw the second Poli back then, but the way he talks about both Polis together suggests they’re a pair, so I imagine they were both his friends back then, too. He also never used Applin against you before evolving it into Dipplin – which is fair, Applin is very not good in battles – so the lack of us seeing another Poliwag/whirl is probably because he felt he needed to use a diverse team that didn’t have two of the same species. He doesn’t have to battle with all of his Pokémon for them to still be his friends, after all! He still doesn’t battle with most of them now in the clubroom battles either, which use his same Champion team, but that doesn’t stop them from being his precious pals!)
(On the other hand, since there is no sign nor mention of them in the postgame, I suspect that, like Cramorant before them, his Gliscor, Shiftry and Probopass from the final Kitakami battle got released. Kieran would have only had them for like a day or two during the events of Teal Mask, since he only caught them after he fixated on getting stronger, so I doubt he’d grown very attached to them during that time. Still, that’s okay, because hey, he did make them stronger, which is probably all they ever expected from him when they joined his team.)
Nemona is Good
One extremely delightful aspect of the epilogue and beyond is Kieran’s interactions with Nemona. It turns out that her outlook on battling is exactly the kind of thing Kieran needed to help regain a healthier view on it himself!
His feelings about his own battling skills are still very all-or-nothing at the beginning of the epilogue. When Nemona excitedly declares that she’s heard he’s really good at battling, Kieran’s pretty dismissive of that idea. He couldn’t beat you, therefore that means he’s Not Good At It, right? (Kieran, no.) He also says that Nemona “destroyed” him once they’ve battled – but based on the fact that she has nothing but praise for how good he is, I very strongly suspect that he actually gave her a really tough fight, and he only framed it that negatively because losing at all still makes his inferiority complex blow things way out of proportion.
Happily, delightfully, Nemona tells Kieran exactly what he has always needed to hear this whole time, which is that it shouldn’t matter whether you win or lose, because battles are fun either way! And with a moment to reflect on that, he agrees… yeah, they are, he had a lot of fun!
We’d heard from Drayton that Kieran was always a kid who’d deeply enjoyed battling, from the very beginning. But it seems that somewhere along the way he’d stopped loving it so much, at least when he’s the one battling - probably because he’d often lose, which would trigger his inferiority complex and make him feel bad. We only saw a small glimpse of his passion for battling ourselves at the beginning of Teal Mask, mostly when he watched you battle his sister, and a little bit in his own early battles with you, but he still felt bad over losing, poor kid.
But with Nemona’s help, Kieran’s been able to remember just how much he always loved battling and can just enjoy himself with it again! In your clubroom battles with him, he has a line just before he Terastallises where he says “these feelings never change” – and though he doesn’t specify what feelings he’s talking about, the one thing about Kieran that has never changed this entire time, even if he sort of lost sight of it for a while along the way, is the thrill he gets from battling! He also says in another line that he’s “having a blast” – which is phrasing that Nemona uses that Kieran never has before, so apparently he picked that up from her? Aww. I am so glad he could meet her; she is exactly the breath of battle-loving fresh air he always needed.
Kieran’s clubroom conversation with Nemona is also very good and helps him let go of his all-or-nothing mindset a little more. Nemona praises him for how quickly he climbed the ranks of the BB League, which he insists is meaningless because he pushed himself unhealthily hard and then still couldn’t beat you in the end. But Nemona helps him reframe it and think of it as: he was incredibly dedicated, and it must mean he really loves Pokémon and battling, which is true! This has to help Kieran view his training arc in a more positive light instead of focusing on the negative aspects like his toxic obsession and lack of self-care. Hopefully if/when he starts training hard again, he’ll be able to feel better about it and not associate it with all the bad things, thanks to Nemona! (But also, Kieran, please remember to not neglect self-care again, that was bad. I imagine he has indeed got the message about that, since the way he talks about that aspect in this conversation seems tinged with regret.)
Carmine is Trying
Another thing we see in the epilogue – admittedly only a small glimpse near the end, but it’s something – is that Kieran’s relationship with his sister seems to have gotten a little bit healthier? They each make equal-opportunity Sibling Banter jabs at each other, and Kieran doesn’t slump and shrink and look so defeated when she bites back against one of his. There’s probably still some ways to go here on their dynamic becoming completely truly healthy, but it’s definitely progress from before, which is good to see.
I think Carmine really must have reflected on her role in Kieran’s breakdown and is trying in her own fumbling awkward way to do better by him now. A delightful sign of this is one of her scenes in the clubroom, in which she resolves to be less protective of Kieran, even if it’ll make her lonelier without him around as much. That’s exactly what she needs to do! After all, this whole thing started because Carmine couldn’t bear to let her brother endure even the tiniest amount of badfeels that would have come from learning he happened to miss out on meeting the ogre. Carmine has realised on some level that she needs to have more faith in Kieran and his ability to endure and get through stuff on his own, rather than trying too hard to protect him from everything ever, which just results in coddling him and stifling his possibility for growth. She still does want to look out for him from a distance and be able to help if he really does need it, but she’s trying not to overdo it any more. Yes good, I am proud of her too.
Reconciling with his schoolmates
I said already in the Indigo Disk post that it’s incredibly brave of Kieran to resolve to apologise to everyone he hurt and make amends, and this is still true. That has to have been so scary, but he went and did it anyway! It seems he even apologised to the people who cared about him, such as his sister and Amarys, for worrying them with his behaviour – which also means he has managed to comprehend the fact that people cared about him, even back then when he was at his most unlikeable.
And by the sounds of what he says in his clubroom scenes, most people took his apologies well and are talking to him like normal now, which has to have been such a relief. It means a lot that Kieran wasn’t expecting anything of the sort and apologised anyway despite expecting backlash, simply because it was the right thing to do – but hey, most people are nice and can probably tell he was decidedly Not Himself during that time and are willing to put the past behind them! Social interaction isn’t quite as scary as he’d used to think, it turns out!
Even then, some things are still a bit weird, and with how far-reaching his impact as Champion was, Kieran’s bound to keep having to deal with this for a while. There must keep being more people he was a jerk to that he still hasn’t apologised to yet, people being intimidated by him because they don’t realise he’s changed, constant reminders of some of the hurtful things he said and did back then. Making amends is going to be a pretty long-term thing, but Kieran is putting in the effort to do so all the same, because it’s the right thing to do, and he is so brave.
Someone who is making this harder than it needs to be is Drayton, because of freaking course he is. He still insists on rubbing in the “ex-Champ” thing, even though Kieran has made it clear he does not appreciate being called that (of course, he no longer minds that he’s not Champion any more, but the fact that Drayton insists on constantly reminding him of his past self has to sting). On the one hand, Drayton is still concerned about Kieran in his own way, because he does effectively ask if Kieran’s eating better meals now, but on the other hand their entire clubroom interaction features him deliberately dodging Kieran’s genuine attempts to just engage with him in an effort to make amends, and, geez. This is exactly what he wanted from Kieran all along, and yet he is somehow still not satisfied. Seriously, Drayton.
At least Drayton is the only one of the Elite Four to be like this, and the others seem to be on good terms with Kieran now! Look at Lacey insisting that the past is in the past when Kieran acts confused that she’d want to help him after he was such a jerk to her. (Someone needs to take notes there, Drayton.) And it seems like Kieran’s got another good friend in Crispin, who’s in the same class as him! Our boy is making so many new friends and it is wonderful.
Of course, his insecurities are still around, and he’s still a little too liable to assume he’s doing something Wrong in social situations, as we see in a couple of his clubroom interactions. That one with Arven about his Pokémon is an example, as Arven phrased things as if he expected Kieran to have just one single closest Pokémon buddy, and Kieran seemed to feel bad that he actually had multiple candidates and couldn’t pick – but happily, Arven reassured him that it’s cool to not be able to choose, too! And in Kieran’s interaction with Crispin, he reflexively apologises for not having watched the latest episode of a show, but Crispin calls him out on the apology, and Kieran is able to question himself as to why he apologised and conclude that he didn’t need to, because it’s not like Crispin’s going to mind.
He is learning! He does not need to feel like he has to perfectly match his conversation partner’s expectations in order to be their friend! Kieran’s approach to his own issues has become so healthy and filled with self-reflection and growth, and I am so proud of him.
Friendship with you
Kieran is also able to be a whole lot healthier about his friendship with you, now that you’re properly friends again after everything! Possibly my favourite completely innocuous line in the epilogue is when he casually mentions that you and he became friends during the school trip to Kitakami. This is actually huge, because Kieran had spent so long utterly convinced that you couldn’t possibly have meant it when you called him a friend back then, not after the lie and all of his issues about being too weak to deserve it. But now, he’s been able to reflect on that and realise… of course you meant it. Of course you always wanted to be his friend, right from the very beginning! It wasn’t on purpose of you that he got left out of meeting Ogerpon at all, because you’re a good person and you wouldn’t do something like that, and he never actually deserved that after all.
(Perhaps sometime during his break, he had a proper talk with his sister about what happened and why she lied, and Carmine finally got to fully express that you and she never meant to hurt him and shun him with that.)
Kieran is still not over his idolisation of you, mind you. He reacts to you being the one to find the TV remote of all completely mundane things with “Wowzers! ‘Course you found it first!” – which, really isn’t a wowzers or an of course? Your magical protagonist powers do not and should not extend to this, and yet they still do in Kieran’s head. But even though he still views you this way, Kieran is so much healthier about it now. He’s no longer bitter and jealous and beating himself up for not being as perfect as he thinks you are, since nobody is (not even you, not really) – instead, he’s just so incredibly thrilled that he actually gets to be friends with someone so cool!
I really love that the devs went and gave Kieran a new losing animation for his clubroom battles, too. His previous ones always had him being varying levels of upset about losing, but not any more! He just stares in wide-eyed awe at your amazingness, and then breaks into a big smile and thanks you for the battle, because he still had great fun even though he lost! And he’s able to freely admit that he looks up to you because you’re so strong, or, in an optional line in the epilogue, he admits that he’s jealous that your friends are all really good people. He still has those feelings, but he’s able to healthily express them now without letting them twist him into something harmful.
It seems like he’s still a little insecure about if he deserves to be friends with you, though, based on a few small things. When he asks you for a trade in the clubroom, he appears hesitant to ask, as if he’s not sure he has the right to, and if you say no – even though there’s every chance this is just because you want some time to decide on an appropriately special Pokémon to give him – he slumps, probably having had his sensitivity to rejection triggered. And even once you’ve traded, he can later ask if you’re absolutely sure he can really keep the Pokémon you traded him, because he can’t quite believe he could get to have such a cool gift from you of all people. Aww, Kieran. Hopefully his hypothetical future interactions with you will help squash this insecurity of his further, because he deserves to feel comfortable in his friendship with his best friend!!!
Ogerpon
Another seemingly-innocuous but extremely good line in the clubroom is that Kieran can ask you if Ogerpon’s doing well and say that he thinks she’ll be pretty happy with you. He says this in a completely casual way, with no hint of bitterness – which tells us that he’s no longer jealous that you caught Ogerpon! It makes sense that he wouldn’t be, because he doesn’t need her acknowledgement any more like he used to think he did in order to feel worth something. He’s already got acknowledgement and self-worth and happiness now for so many other reasons, after all! So he can just be selflessly happy for Ogerpon that she’s found a trainer she can feel safe and happy with too, without being irrationally preoccupied over what she thinks of him.
It is interesting to see in this dialogue that Kieran initially calls her “the ogre” before correcting himself to “Ogerpon” – apparently, he’s only quite recently made an effort to shift what he calls her in his head. It’s true that in his reaction to her in the Champion battle, he did indeed just call her “the ogre”. It’d make sense that he didn’t actually work to shift his mental idea of what to call her during his Indigo Disk arc, despite knowing her species name, because the name “Ogerpon” likely brought back too many painful reminders of everything that happened in Kitakami. It was probably easier for him to just stick with “the ogre” and try to forget anything had changed. But he’s okay with what happened now!
And maybe Kieran trying to make a habit of using her name now is a sign that he’s started to realise that Ogerpon is her own individual who’s not quite the same as the mental image he always had of what “the ogre” was like? Maybe. It’s hard to be sure. Unfortunately the epilogue/postgame can’t do much with Ogerpon because it’s always optional for her to be on your team or even in your game at all (since you could in theory have released her or traded her away). But we can at least hypothetically imagine that in Kieran’s continued interactions with you, he’ll get the chance to hang out with Ogerpon a little and come to understand her better. It certainly seems now that he’d be able to hang out with both you and her without feeling uncomfortably jealous, which is a good start! (And Terapagos is on the list of ‘people’ he owes an apology to, so let’s imagine he gets a chance to do that, too.)
Moving forward
The “climax”, such as there is one, of Kieran’s mini-arc of scenes in the clubroom is him excitedly telling you that he’s had the BB League drop him from their rankings. Although your character seems a little bewildered by it (they are still a bit of a social dumbass), this is in fact an extremely good thing for Kieran! He’s taking a step back from the competitive side of things for the sake of his mental health, so that he can untangle himself from the toxically-obsessive mindset that he was in back when he was only focused on winning! Look at Kieran doing all this good self-reflection and self-care, it is so lovely to see. He doesn’t even seem to view this as any sign of him failing, either – he’s just comfortably acknowledging that he needs to do this for now for his own sake and there’s no shame in that.
Kieran seems pretty sure that he is going to want to get back into competing once he’s cleared his head a bit, but he’s already so much more casual and healthy about it! He says he’s going to shoot for the Champion title again, and even if you respond with a friendly taunt of “You still won’t beat me!”, he takes it so well. He’s genuinely okay now with the thought that he might never quite be good enough to beat you – he just wants to have fun trying. Look at how far he’s come!
In the meantime, while he sorts his head out, he just wants to spend time with his Pokémon (who mean a lot to him as far more than just sources of battling strength!) and his human friends (whom he has so many of now???) and figure out what he really wants to do with himself from here. Good for him!
Kieran’s still just a kid, and seeing him already learn how to grow from his mistakes and face up to his lingering issues and be just so emotionally healthy about things now is such a promising sign for wherever he’s going to end up in future. I love that the epilogue and these postgame clubroom scenes put so much effort into showing us this about Kieran now, reassuring us that he really is going to be okay. I truly could not be more proud of or happy for my boy.
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Thoughts on the Batch's Ending
Ooookay. This is going to be a long one. (Little note from Steph who just finished writing this: it’s nearly 3000 words…)
Tagging @saturn-sends-hugs @inkstainedhandswithrings and @eriexplosion because I value their thoughts (but I'm also not demanding that you read 3000 words of waffle)
I’ve had a lot of thoughts about the finale of The Bad Batch and honestly, my mind is a bit of a mess right now. One of the things I just want to try and tackle is how I feel about the ending of each Batch member individually, because while I can look at it and say “The Batch got a happy ending!”, I feel like that doesn’t really give me much of an idea of whether or not each character got an ending that I feel is fitting for their story arc.
So, this post is basically just going to be me unpicking the ending for each of the Batchers and working out how I feel about it (aka me trying to unscramble the mass load of thoughts going on in my head right now). 
Omega
Overall, I’m very happy with where Omega ended up. When you look back on how she was when we first met her, you realise just how much she has grown over the last few seasons. She didn’t just learn to be a part of the squad, she also learned how to look after herself. It isn’t just a development of her skillset, it’s also a growth in maturity, which allows her to have a clearer head and more rational decisions in the field. While Omega trusted her brothers to come and rescue her, she didn’t just sit around and wait for them, she hatched her own plan to not only get her and the other children out, but also help the Batch when they arrive at Tantiss.
Like Echo, she strongly believes in helping people and I love that that has carried through into her ending. While it would have been nice for her to live a quiet life, free of any more troubles, it makes complete sense for her to want to join the Rebellion. And I think it was at a good time as well. Omega got to spend the rest of her childhood being raised in a more peaceful, safe environment, before making the decision a few years down the line to go her own way. This is her leaving the nest and I think it was tackled incredibly well. You can see how she has taken on attributes from all of her brothers, and judging by her style choice, Phee as well. We see Omega using the support of her brothers to carve her own path and I love that.
Personally, I can’t really see a more fitting development in her story than this. And I’m reluctant to actually call it an ending because for her, this feels more like the beginning of a new chapter. I honestly wouldn’t be surprised if we saw her again later down the road.
Hunter
Now those who follow me may be aware that Hunter was never my favourite member of the Batch. I didn’t dislike him, but I never really connected with him in the same way that I connected with all of the other characters. Saying that, it doesn’t mean I haven’t given a lot of thought to him and his character.
Hunter always had a lot on his shoulders. He was the leader of the Batch and that meant keeping a rag-tag group of defective clones in line, but it also left him with the belief that if anything were to happen to his squad, it would be his responsibility. So, with Crosshair and Omega stuck with the Empire, and Tech dead, Hunter had a lot to carry. At the beginning of Season 3 we saw that he had become more reckless and irrational, not really thinking about plans and wanting to jump straight into things. It was Wrecker who had to step in and make sure Hunter didn’t do anything stupid. Hunter felt like he lost control and that took a lot out of him, especially since this is something I think he could feel creeping up on him throughout Season 2, even if he tried to fight it. The Batch had started to make decisions without him, and Omega was forming close attachments to other people, which was digging a knife into Hunter’s fear of losing his squad. So S3 saw him trying everything he could to reunite the Batch, because he couldn’t bear to lose anyone else.
And he achieved that. But what I also deeply appreciate is that we see Hunter accepting that Omega wants to go her own way. This was something he didn’t want happening for a long time, but once he accepted that she was capable of looking after herself, and once he accepted that he could never keep her tied in place forever, he supported Omega in her decision to join the Rebellion. Yes, he will always worry about her. He even tells her that she will always be their kid. But he knows that it’s time for her to carve her own path, and that means for him, finally letting go and accepting that Clone Force 99 will never be what it once was. 
Wrecker
Wrecker is an interesting one for me because he’s one of the few characters where I can’t really see a big step for his character in the final episode. For many of the others there is some form of acceptance, or big step in their lives, but for Wrecker I don’t really see that. And unfortunately, I think that comes from Wrecker never really being the focus of any strong character development throughout the history of the show. That’s not to say there wasn’t any growth at all, but when we look at how far everyone else has come in their stories, Wrecker always feels like he never got the same treatment in this show. The biggest growth I saw was when he stepped in to help Hunter when he could see the sergeant was spiralling.
So, while I’m happy he lived and has gone on to enjoy a longer, more peaceful life than we ever expected for the Batch, it makes me sad that we never really saw anything big for Wrecker in this ending. No big acceptance, no huge sacrifice. We don’t even get to see him say goodbye to Omega when she leaves. I love that Wrecker got a happy ending, but I always wish that we had gotten the opportunity to see more of a character arc with him over the course of the entire show.
Crosshair
I accepted a while ago that if any of the Batch members were to survive, Crosshair would be one of them because I didn’t expect the writers to kill him off after everything that he had been through. And thankfully they didn’t! I love that after everything, Crosshair has managed to find peace. Maybe not completely, but enough that he has the chance to live a life that doesn’t involve him being a soldier. 
Throughout S2 and S3 we saw Crosshair come to terms with the fact that he was disposable to the Empire and that they didn’t care about him as much as he had made himself believe. And one of the things Crosshair fought with the most was his own identity as a soldier. For so long, he believed that that was all he was, all he could be, so that’s why it has been so amazing finally seeing Crosshair acknowledge that he doesn’t need to be a soldier to still live a life he deserves; his purpose is and always has been more than that.
Saying that, I want to address the hand thing because I am still unsure of where I sit with it. Following his escape from Tantiss, we see Crosshair has developed hand tremors as a result of his PTSD, and a decent chunk of the season has been dedicated to him learning how to live with them. The biggest reason for this affecting Crosshair so much was that it impacted his ability to be a sniper, which is what Crosshair believed to be his main purpose: he didn’t know what to do without the ability to use his hand. And we were given some incredibly sweet scenes between him and Omega as she helped him work out the best way to manage the tremors, for example, them meditating together.
But then that brings me onto my main issue, which is, why remove the hand? One of the reasons I keep seeing is that it removes Crosshair’s ability to be a sniper, but we had already seen that. That’s the issue that the tremors were causing. Crosshair had already been struggling with that ability as a result of what happened to him on Tantiss, so cutting his hand off as a way of preventing his sniping ability seems a bit unnecessary. Now admittedly, the soldier who cut his hand off didn’t know that he had hand tremors, so logistically it makes sense, but as a story tool it seems a bit bizarre to me. Personally, I think it would’ve been more interesting to pursue the idea of Crosshair learning to manage his tremors through meditation etc. and adapting to a life that has less of a focus on sniping. 
Another reason I have seen for the hand is that it symbolises Crosshair finally becoming free from the Empire and what they did to him on Tantiss. Him no longer having the tremors indicates that he is no longer burdened by the Empire and his time there. But that doesn’t really work for me either. For one, Crosshair will never truly be separated from what happened to him there; even if he lost the shaking, he would still have a number of psychological issues as a result of what he went though, so I can’t see it as a way of symbolising a true separation. Which is once again why I think that following the story beat of him managing the tremors would have been a more interesting path for them to go down with his character.
Saying that, I’m still happy with where Crosshair’s story went. He is arguably the most complex character in the Batch and I’m so glad we have been able to see him develop the way he has. Him living a long, quiet life is something that I’m happy he has gotten, and I truly don’t think that him dying would have brought nearly as satisfying a conclusion as Crosshair finally finding a new place in the world.
Tech
Oh boy… this is going to be an interesting chunk of this essay. So errm… it turns out Tech is actually dead, which is… kinda shit. 
Back when we saw him fall at the end of S2, I said that one of the reasons that I didn’t believe that Tech was really dead was because if he was, I would’ve found the writing kinda cheap. I said repeatedly throughout that season that I didn’t want all of his character development to simply be an emotional manipulation tactic to make us even more sad when he died… which is what it turned out to be. It doesn’t surprise me that Tech sacrificed himself, but it makes me mad that ultimately his death never really had any real impact on anything. I mean, they hardly even addressed it in the final season!
I get that animated Star Wars is known for rarely addressing characters after their deaths, but The Clone Wars focuses on so many characters that if we gave that much attention to every character that died, then we would never progress the plot. However, unlike TCW, The Bad Batch primarily focuses on a smaller group of clones and therefore not only has the space to explore the impacts that death would have on the squad, but really should find it a necessary part of the storytelling. The lack of attention given to Tech throughout this season has been beyond frustrating to me. He deserved better.
And I can’t write a section about Tech’s ending without addressing the CX-2 situation. Were we all delusional for believing that Tech was alive? No. Now before people come at me for saying that, I want to explain why that is the conclusion I have come to. You would have every right to label us delusional if there was absolutely no proof behind the claims that we made, but when the writers give us a character that both speaks and acts like Tech, what did they expect us to think? There were too many parallels between Tech and CX-2 for it to be coincidental and I still stand by the fact that we had reason to believe that they were the same person.
Now, looking at the other CX soldiers we see in the finale, they all seem to parallel the OG members of the Batch: there’s a larger one who primarily focuses on hand-to-hand combat, someone who favours blades, a sniper, and a more tech-savvy one. And I’m sure there is a reason for that, symbolically or practically, but if the fact that they all resemble the Batch is important, then why was so much focus put primarily on CX-2? There was no way we weren’t going to think that they would reveal him to be Tech.
Overall, I’m annoyed. Tech was such a brilliant character and I am so frustrated that not only did he get a death that I felt was kind of cheap, but he didn’t get nearly the respect he should have been given in the final season. Now, I’m not using this as a way to bash the writers, and I definitely don’t think that anyone should use it as an excuse to be bullies, but unfortunately, I can’t be satisfied with the way Tech’s story ended, and I’m not sure I ever will.
Echo
Last but certainly not least, Echo. To say that Echo means a lot to me is an understatement, and I was genuinely terrified that I might have to say goodbye to one of my comfort characters. But thankfully, our boy made it!
Following Season 1, we all wanted for Echo to get some more development. It never felt like he had truly been used to his full potential. And thankfully, Season 2 began to give us that. Yes, we ended up saying goodbye to Echo for half a season, but we saw some incredible growth in his character, and him choosing to join the rebellion made too much sense not to happen. Unfortunately, this also meant that we didn’t get to see Echo for the majority of the final season, but I am beyond grateful that what they gave us in these last few episodes has been some of the best Echo content that we have ever seen. Watching him grow and find where he belongs has been a pleasure to watch, He really is an ARC trooper through and through. Particularly in these last few episodes, seeing how much he has grown to be like Fives, and watching him carry on his brother’s legacy, has been so incredible, No matter what anyone says, I believe that he truly is one of the greatest, and most important characters that we’ve ever gotten out of animated Star Wars.
However, I do have one gripe with Echo’s ending, and it’s the fact that it doesn’t actually feel like a conclusion. If anything, I have more questions about Echo now than I did before the last episode. Echo going to the Rebellion is an absolute given; he still has stuff to help Rex with. But the fact that there is absolutely no mention of him in the epilogue has just made me wonder where he is. Omega mentions Crosshair and Wrecker, and we only see Hunter, so we know that Echo isn’t with them. But we also know that at that point in the story, Echo also isn’t with Rex (assuming we’re in Rebels era). So where is he? What is he doing? Is he actually dead at that point??? I really hope we see more of Echo in the future because if this really is the last time we see his character, it’s too open ended for me to really be satisfied with it.
But if I’m being honest, I really don’t think that this is the last time that we are going to see him. And especially with Omega joining the Rebellion, I wouldn’t be surprised if we saw another clone-centric show following these characters in the future.
Concluding Thoughts
All in all, my thoughts are still a bit jumbled. I still don’t know how I truly feel about everything, but hopefully this post at least gives some insight into how I think each character’s endings were handled. Will I change my mind at some point? Probably. But for now, this is where I stand.
At its core, I think the ending we got makes sense for a lot of the characters, and I’m glad that they didn’t all just die at the end. Sure, there are choices that I’m not happy with, but seeing that some of the Batch go on to live long lives is something that I’m very happy to see. It doesn’t happen enough in animated SW, so I’m glad we got to experience it.
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enihk-writes · 6 months
Text
[hard to recall]
part of the [architect!reader] series can be read together with the other fics or as a standalone
pairing: pbss!chung myung x gn!they/them!reader
will be alternating povs from pbss!chung myung and mhdd!chung myung
summary: a hundred years and a few remnants later
word count: 5.50k
author's note: i got very demotivated towards the end but the og plot was supposed to be reader comes back from work to see mt hua in shambles and they tear down all the buildings they built just to secure funds and that's why the current sect looks so bare, and it's heartbreaking because reader is an architect and this was their life's hard work and cm knows that too and he realised there was virtually nothing left of that could remind him of them, like they put their soul into these structures and now it's gone type of thing,, and in the chaos of the aftermath when there was no one to lead the sect as the remaining elder they have to do it and everyone knows they tried their best and that they died miserable,, cm was supposed to find this out bit by bit through hyun jong and the other current elders... BUT like i said, i got suuuuuper demotivated towards the end because of writer's block so i scrapped the og idea... maybe i might come back to try writing it, but not in this story rn...
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what does it mean to be loved?
what does it take to be loved?
power? fame? money? or was it a good heart?
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they've always had a good head on their shoulders. some have said that it was a little too good. poised steady and head held high no matter the situation, had they been able to carry a sword like he, who knows what they could have accomplished?
but alas, they were not destined for such things.
the natural state of their qi clashed with the martial arts of mount hua. like water on fire, and it had left them weaker after each training session. they were lucky, having discovered this flaw early, or else they might have suffered more down the line.
talent is something you nurture to bloom.
he looks at them, eyebrows raised in questioning.
i'm going off to see what else i can do.
and just like that, they left. nothing much changed in his life. though, sometimes, he does feel as though it wasn't as noisy as it should have been. it's almost like there was a hard-to-ignore scratch on a perfectly polished marble.
the food tasted more bland now that they weren't watching over the cooks with an iron fist. the clothes didn't feel as crisp now, since the ones on duty these days didn't leave it out in the sun for as long as they used to. and dust was now left to collect in corners until it became too much to ignore, it wasn't like that when they were here — they would have gone down on their hands and knees to clean those annoying places obsessively.
he also might have missed that there was someone who talked to him like a peer, an actual peer, over most of the others who either talked to him like a child, their unreliable junior, someone to be feared and respected. it's nice to have someone your age to talk to, and he never really thought he needed that sort of companionship until they were gone.
well, he doesn't mind waiting. he was a pretty hard worker too, and wouldn't it be a little embarrassing for him if he had nothing to show for when they came back?
three years flew by so quickly, and he walks up to the front gates one unassuming day to find them reaching over to knock on the door.
he was a little shocked.
well, not shocked in the ah sense. but in the ahhhhh sense.
when they stood next to each other side-by-side, his mood went a little sour when he sees that they were still not much different in their height. he was hoping that he had grown more then they did.
welcome back.
mmh, i'm home~
he didn't ask about what they've been up to in the past three years while they were wandering across the country.
the elders seemed pleased when they all walked out of that long meeting, the elder in charge of the finance hall in particular looked a little happier than when he walked into the room.
huh. he would be lying if he said that this didn't make him wonder what happened to them in the past three years.
still, he kept his mouth shut, preferring to watch from the sidelines instead. grinning at them when they walked over in his direction, slinging an arm over their shoulders, annoying them like they hadn't ever left home.
dinnertime was noisy, the table where they sat was swarming with so many other disciples — all wanting to hear of their stories of the outside world. chung myung can't blame the others much, most of them weren't allowed to leave the sect grounds until they reached a certain age.
oh, him? he didn't get permission either, he just does it because he never cared about the rules. and it was this mindset that had all his seniors and other elders of the sect rubbing their temples in exasperation.
he watched from across the dining hall, chin propped in his hand, as the littlest ones tried to garner their attention by pawing at their thigh with small and chubby hands.
they laughed at the children's antics, carrying the youngest up from the ground, resting her on their lap as she was lulled to sleep against their chest. for a moment, they caught chung myung's gaze, looking at each other through the gaps between the crowd of people. they smile shyly at him, looking away when one of the older sect sisters asks them something.
chung myung's lips pull into a thin line, looking down at his half-empty plate of food awkwardly.
he wasn't sure why he wished for a moment that they were the only ones there in the dining hall then. maybe he wasn't used to having to share them with anyone, it was always just the two of them. with how chung myung was so quick to pick fights, nobody his age wanted to hang around him. only they had the patience to even try. and because of that, they slowly lost their friends — because if anybody wanted to be friends with chung myung, that person surely had something wrong with them.
he felt bad. knowing that he was the reason why nobody wanted to associate with them was a shitty feeling. he tried to chase them away in the beginning, never resorting to hurting them but he wasn't ever nice to them either.
go away!
nuh-uh!
that was always the way they greeted each other back then. he would hide from them in the tallest cupboards in the kitchen or in the trees or even the rooftops but they must have learnt something from his chung mun sa-hyung with how they still caught him each time effortlessly.
right.
this is how it's supposed to be. seeing them surrounded by so many people, all looking at them in awe and wonder. this was how they should have lived all this time.
the usual appetite he had vanished. pushing the food away, chung myung gets up to leave, slipping away into the cold night and away from the action.
white puffs of air float upwards at each exhale, gravel crunched under his feet as he drags them to bring him back to his room. he doesn't make it far though — there was a pitter-patter of light footsteps coming his way. he sighs and chuckles to himself.
he would know that sound of footsteps anywhere.
looking over his shoulder, he sees that the toddler sleeping soundly in their arms. it was amazing, how they managed to carry the child running without waking her up from all that shaking. he wonders for a moment if...
chung myung-ah.
he tilts his head.
let's put her to bed. she must be tired from staying awake for so long, poor baby.
he listens to them coo softly over the little girl's nose scrunching up from the cold. chung myung curiously pokes at the mounds of fat stored on the child's cheeks, snickering when the kid frowns in their sleep, grunting in protest.
they gasp and slaps his hand away.
hey! don't do that!
they whisper-yell, cradling the fussing baby's head closer to their chest, shushing her cries. rocking their arms, hoping the child would go back to sleep, which she thankfully did.
chung myung only looks away from their accusatory gaze.
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there used to be a nursery a little aways from the main dorms.
it wasn't there anymore. much like most of the buildings that used to stand here in mount hua back in its heyday.
it was just one of the many little things that had been torn down from trying to salvage sellable materials. that was nothing more than a product of time, and the actions taken by a sect struggling to feed the mouths living there.
it's been a hundred years, after all.
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why would you do something this pointless?
chung myung couldn't understand them. he leans against the wall with his arms crossed, talking to them through their window, with him on the outside as they were drawing out lines on a parchment paper by candlelight.
hm... but i don't think it's pointless though?
they state simply, not once looking up from their work. feeling neglected, chung myung whines a little. they were finally back after a good few years and now that he wanted to spend time with them, they're too busy? please look at me. he wants to say, beg even.
you're awfully clingy these days.
he hears their breathy chuckle. and the corners of their eyes crinkle up, lips barely hiding that wide toothy smile he'd missed seeing. though, it looked less childish than he last remembered. that's right. they're both grown up now, they're both adults now.
he wishes that they could be kids forever.
mostly because kids don't think too hard or dwell too long on things that hurt their brains. and whatever new winds that have begun to sail on the ship since they've returned to mount hua, was bringing them to a different destination than he thought they'd end up. he wasn't going to gamble on the possibility that they might have taken notice of this subtle change like he did too. all these thoughts hurt his head.
he listens to the sounds of the calligraphy brush dragged across the paper, tingles travelling up to his brain. it was late, he should be back in bed... but...
ahh...hnn...
chung myung yawns, not bothering to be polite around someone he's known his whole life. he hears them giggle again, but this time, they set their brush aside. leaning across the table, their fingers fiddled with something, soft clanks of wood bumped into each other for a moment before the window was finally thrown open.
come inside.
they call out to him with that same soft smile.
woah there! you shouldn't be inviting a man into your private quarters so easily like this! what if he misunderstands something... this is so intimate you know...
he gasps dramatically, even if this wasn't his first time in their room, this was his first time in their room as an adult. it was very much a significant thing to him.
they laugh again.
...you jest. we're friends, what's there to misunderstand?
ah. of course. they were only friends. nothing more, nothing less. what was there to get confused about?
he wordlessly climbs in through their window. taking off his boots before putting his foot down on their pristine floorboards. it's hard to forget about that time they scolded his ear off for dirtying the floor they had freshly cleaned.
you still remember to take your shoes off huh?
they mumble quietly.
you don't have to do that anymore though. i'm not as nit-picky as i used to be. i can always clean it up again.
he thinks they've certainly changed quite a bit.
his thoughts wander more, but his gaze never once leaving the drawings that came into being on the paper. thin and thick lines that formed into what he recognised as the entire scale layout of the current mount hua seen from above. he marvels at their small drawings of furniture in each of the miniature rooms.
he moves to stand behind them, eventually sitting on their bed after changing into the spare set of sleeping attire they've kept in their wardrobe just for him.
as the night wore on, he finally succumbs to his tired state, burrowing under the covers of their bed. he calls out to them to go to bed too, but it seems they've chosen to ignore him in favour of their work. he didn't have half the mind to try again — not when they had that look in their eye. it was almost like a possession, some innate obsession that they'd somehow unearthed within themselves in the three years they were gone.
he doesn't remember them ever being like that. if anything, they were the most laid-back person he's ever known. with no particular ambition, no wants beyond what they needed... not much plans for their future. he didn't know what happened to them before they decided to leave, he still hasn't asked them about what happened in the time they were away. they've changed, and deep down he feels a little bitter for getting left behind, falling asleep with those thoughts running in his mind.
the next time he woke up, it was the beginning of daybreak. the room was still dark even with the sky slowly turning into a pale violet. he felt the covers lift and they climbed into bed as quietly as they could, not realising chung myung was very much awake.
ah!
they gasp, startled by the red of his irises staring right at them from under the blanket's dark shadows.
you scared me...
they mumble and whine tiredly, falling into his chest, his outstretched arms circling their waist, pulling them closer.
m'sorry...
his lips ghost on the crown of their head, a hand hesitates to cradle the back of their neck. what if that was too much? sure, they've huddled together under the covers on cold mornings like this countless times before... but they were younger then. now, things have changed. but maybe it's more him than they, or it was both.
he could think about that later. right now, he feels so warm and relaxed he feels himself drifting back to sleep again.
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that day when he had dug into the ground to find the secret vault for the ledgers, he just barely missed the pile of scrolls sitting on the bottom of the bookcase.
he got curious, opened them and saw a set of familiar drawings.
the lines were faded from a vibrant black to a faint grey and the parchment had also turned a little yellow on the edges. his fingers traced over the writing at the corner of the paper. it was a signature of that person's name. he tries and fails to remember the way their hands held onto that brush they'd often used.
it's been a hundred years, after all.
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recently, the elders have been discussing about what to do with some of the main halls.
you see, they've neglected the management of the buildings in favour of setting aside the budget for other matters like investing in expanding the local businesses or other miscellaneous affairs. they'd figured there wasn't really a need to keep up with building maintenance, not when these halls have been standing well and good for the past few centuries.
though the main issue now was that there was a wee bit of a nothing-too-serious case of termite infestation going on in the wooden frames on a select few of the said buildings. ugh, more work everyone around.
oh! but it's not for chung myung though!
he remained blissfully unaware about the current plight of a certain person until he comes across them slumped against the outer walls of the back gates, head in their hands.
hey...
there was a slight hesitation in his voice.
hm?
they look up to meet his worried gaze with a confused, sheepish smile. loud growling of their stomach interrupting the moment.
he feels his irritation grow. seriously! they were old enough to take care of their own needs! no sane person would choose to ignore those needs to keep on working!
nausea hits them hard when chung myung pulls them to their feet, the world around them spins as their knees grow weak and buckle. thank god for his reflexes, catching them before they fall to the ground — but now what?
he does what chung myung does best.
throwing the poor and sick, now his supposed patient, over his shoulder like a sack of rice.
they don't even bother fighting back instead, they fade in and out of the intense feeling of wanting to throw up on chung myung or passing out — wondering to themselves if this guy was genuinely trying to put them to an early grave.
put me down...
nuh-uh. you need to eat.
they groan in exasperation.
and they passed out soon after.
in the days following that fainting scare, everyone agrees to take a step back. probably feeling guilty that they were driving one of their own like a workhorse. but that isn't enough to stop someone who's a known workaholic. chung myung doesn't remember them being like this before.
though a friend was a friend, and he shoves down the ugly feeling slowly brewing in the pit of his gut to take care of them. he was dependable when he wanted to be. just don't expect it to happen every time.
he knew the corners of the sect they liked to be, and in each of those corners, he'd put down his clumsily made step-stools — uneven and shaky, made from scrap pieces of branches and logs he found. it wasn't the best workmanship in the world, though they were delighted that he did this for them nonetheless.
not long after, there was a second, more polished and well-made stool that stood next to each and every one of those misshapen ones. and in the duo's later years, a third one was added to the lineup.
it was a common sight for the younger disciples to see two of their elders and another guy hunched over, roasting water chestnuts by the back gate like a bunch of delinquents until sect leader chung mun would drag their two elders by the collar as the third person trailed behind sheepishly.
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the back gates once made out of brick and stone had been torn down with only a low fragmented outline left behind. chung myung walks around that area until he stumbles on a mound of dirt by a wall still standing.
curiously, he kicks off the top layers of soil, revealing a splintered and rotting piece of wood. the more he unearths, the more the mound begins to take the shape of three step-stools.
his mouth waters at the smell of roasted chestnuts wafting from the kitchen. he hasn't had that in a while.
it's been a hundred years, after all.
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loud banging noises from dawn till midday were the norm this past week.
almost everyone bit their tongues from complaining. it was a necessary process, after all. even the elders held back from commenting on the ruckus. of course they did, this whole mess was their fault! who asked them to neglect building maintenance!
they were perched on a bamboo scaffolding, mumbling curses under their breath. straining to pull out rotted wood, trying not to squirm at the disgusting look of wet mold. cleaning out the gaping holes and filling them out one by one was a cheapskate way really — but what the elders ask for, they had to deliver. no matter how tiresome the job was, they have to prove themselves.
somewhere in the back of their mind, a voice was always condemning them. telling them over and over on repeat how useless they were, not being able to pick up on the basic skill of using a sword in a martial arts sect. the odd one out, the nail that stuck out, the stubborn thorn that got on the soles of one's foot. all descriptors that applied to them. their master, a man whose name they didn't want to speak of, was a cruel one. they always felt like a freeloader, taking and taking like a parasite, his words, what use did they have other than being another mouth the sect had to feed?
just as the rest of the world faded into a blur, a familiar voice cuts through the fog of their spiralling thoughts.
he calls out to them, face red from a combination of alcohol, running away from the seniors and the heat of summer. he clamours up the scaffolding with a small basket and a bottle of wine, trying to hide himself from view.
you aren't expecting me to hide you from our seniors... are you?
chung myung laughs nervously.
i'm not going to lie to someone to cover your ass.
urgh... you sound like those shaolin monks talking about the five virtues of righteousness...
they were about to snap back when a flurry of footsteps came their way — chung myung retreats further into the shadows, stilling from making any more noise. they glance over at him, before turning over to continue with their work.
a few of the junior brothers stop at the foot of the scaffolding, panting a little. the boys look up to their senior, nudging amongst themselves to ask the whereabouts of their other runaway senior.
uh, senior... have you seen...
the timid voice of the junior was interrupted by the loud banging of the hammer against the wood. and every time there seemed to be an opening, the banging quickly resumed again.
the boys decided to just give up and report to the elders that they'd lost track of their runaway senior. grumbling amongst themselves about how they've wasted their time.
chung myung remained in his spot, only coming out when the coast was completely clear. all while they were still hard at work, pulling out the wood, and filling out the holes.
he reached into the basket, plucking out a kumquat from the bunch. he blows the dust off it and wipes it clean before nudging the fruit to the other's lips.
open your mouth... ahhh...
the kumquats were just as sweet and tart as expected. they chew on it thoughtfully, gathering the seeds under their tongue to spit it out. chung myung's hand moves to hover under their chin, and they raise an eyebrow in question.
you can spit the seeds on my hand.
ew. that's so disgusting. what are you? a pervert?
the man looks at them indignantly. urgh, they were so rude! it's even worse than when they first left mount hua! to have believed life outside shaanxi would have changed this block-head potty-mouthed person was a pipe dream after all!
you... you're cussing me out, aren't you?
chung myung shakes his head quickly, knowing they weren't above tattling to their elders if he pissed them off. he's known this first-hand since childhood, and it doesn't seem like things were going to change in adulthood either.
you can buy my silence with some of those mooncakes you have or with the mandarin oranges in the basket.
he sucks in a breath. they were asking for his favourite mooncakes... they were so cruel... evil, evil bastard! what friend? this was clearly the devil in disguise, maybe he should have brought talismans to test that theory...
oi.
he grumbles in defeat, getting to work by diligently peeling the skin off the mandarin oranges, splitting the fruit into its little segments, and feeding it to them piece by piece with slices of mooncake in-between each fruit to cleanse their palate.
mmh... our chung myungie can be such a good boy too eh~
shut up!
they cackle and drown out his insults with the loud banging.
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the sect had been gifted a few carts of mandrin oranges by the merchant guild. chun myung had taken a few to snack on in his free time, and as he peels the skin off the fruit, he thinks about how nice it'd be to have someone to share these little slices with.
he bites on a piece.
it was sweet, but not like he remembered. and there was also a bitter aftertaste that left him feeling emptier than before.
it's been a hundred years, after all.
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war was such a devastating thing.
beyond the obvious loss of lives, there was also the grief gained from seeing someone who is still alive and kicking lose all that made them... them.
chung myung hasn't been himself in a long, long time. he barely remembers through the haze of liquor-induced stupor the type of person he used to be before this endless bloodshed. he smiled less, got agitated more often, and even for someone who had always seemed to attract wayward troublemakers this was all too much. he wonders what went wrong, did that person also notice something was wrong with him?
no. that person surely noticed. they were an architect for god's sake — being observant was part of their job description. he wanted to ask them why they hadn't been so hard on him like everyone else. the tension hanging in the air had made the sa-hyungs lash out at him, he somehow became the scapegoat that took on the blame for the smallest errors. not that he minded, he understood they didn't mean it, but it doesn't make it any less hurtful.
myung-ah.
he looks up, eyes clouded over and dazed. a vaguely familiar figure makes their way towards him, talking with someone, presumably the tavern owner, in hushed voices before a hand caresses his head gently. chung myung leaned into the touch, it was as comforting as it always was. he hasn't been seeing them as often as he'd like these days... he frowns at the realisation.
myung-ah. let's go home.
he groans as he feels them lean him against their shoulder. he's been told he smells like plum blossoms, most of the other swordsmen that practised the plum blossom divine arts did too — but they didn't, and he becomes curious about what they smell like. nuzzling his nose into the side of their head, he catches a whiff of what could only be described as laundry left under the sun.
this person... how was it possible for someone to be this comforting in every aspect of their being? it doesn't make sense, they were human were they not? how was someone able to have such a clear mind at all times? even chung mun sa-hyung slipped up once in a while, losing his patience, just like he did earlier today when he chastised chung myung for not taking things as seriously as he should have been.
do you... do you also think i haven't been doing my best?
he mumbles under his breath, voice strained and cracking just a little. he felt his stomach drop, out of nervousness or dread, he wasn't sure. maybe it was even both.
the two stop walking. they were at the foot of the steps leading up to the front gates. he looks at them, afraid to hear what their answer would be. he tries to laugh off his question, peeling himself off them and was just starting to go up the steps when he feels their hand grip at the back of his uniform.
they pull him back towards them and hesitantly pushed him to sit. chung myung watched the expressions on their face morph through the gaps of his hair hanging over his eyes. he was the most terrified he had ever been in his life — ever since he'd come to terms with the fact that he saw the person standing before him as someone more than a family or a friend, any prospect of them thinking of him in a negative light was enough to have him running with his tail between his legs.
he dare not say he was in love with them. not when he held so much unresolved resentment towards them for leaving him behind. he wished, still to this day that they hadn't gone off to find what they were good at. they should have stayed within the walls of the sect, they should have stayed here with him, where they would have never bloomed their talents and made everyone want to take them away from him. they could have been all his if they stayed, and he could have held them as close as he wanted, envelop them with his whole being. his love, all his, his, his.
chung myung-ah.
he tried not to make a face.
our chung myung works hard in his own way. i don't know about the others, but i do. i know you have your own ways of working hard.
they brushed his hair back, tucking some strands behind his ear. he hated it. he hated how it made him melt under their fingertips, hated how even after all these years he didn't have the courage to admit to something this simple.
they didn't know all of him. if they did would they still touch him this tenderly?
his hands find their waist, and then their hips. musing at the way their pupils dilated and shook, he tugged them towards him. they stumble over their feet, falling into his chest. there was a stupid grin plastered all over his face as the other tried to get up from the embarrassing position. his arms circle around them, pulling them in once more, setting them on his lap.
...you're drunk. you know that right?
they push away his face that had been inching closer. he holds their hand covering his mouth, pressing his lips against the inside of their palm — kissing it once, twice, a few more times until he felt satisfied, before moving their hand to rest on his cheek. he rubs his sand-papery jaw against their smooth palm, the tip of his nose tracing their wrist, thumb pulling down the long black bracer so his lips could reach the thumping vein lying under the thin layer of skin.
their breath hitches as his teeth grazes over their wrist, he ponders for a moment before biting down on the flesh. hard enough that they wince, whimpering softly, but not enough to draw up blood. they feel the back of their ears grow heated, not really wanting to find out whether it was from embarrassment or arousal. hitting at his shoulder with their free hand, they chide him for doing something so indecent out in the open, where anyone could see.
do you hate it?
that's not the point!
but... you don't hate this... right?
they turn away from his prying gaze. he wasn't wrong, they didn't hate that he was doing this. it's just... what if...
chung myung clicks his tongue. with a snap of his fingers, the alcohol in his system leaves completely in a translucent haze. he scoffs at the way their nose crinkled in disgust from the overpowering smell. he cradles their face into his chest, saving them from their little predicament. now sober, he agrees that he had been a little too carried away, so he digs his heels to the ground and kicks off into the air — still carrying them in his arms, jumping on rooftops until he reached the front of his private residence.
he refused to let them down even as he walked inside, despite their balled fist thumping on his shoulder. using that same scolding tone, still said in a soft voice, not once raising it in annoyance or anger.
with wide strides and feet falling heavily on the wooden floorboards, he locks every door and window in the residence — just in case someone becomes too nosy. tense body only relaxing in an exhale when they were both in the privacy of his bedroom. setting them down on the soft covers, he kneels at their feet, resting his chin lightly on the plush of their thigh, mumbling about how sorry he was for the roughness earlier.
it's okay.
their hands work their way through his hair, nails scratching lightly at his scalp, cupping his cheek and turning his face up towards them.
chung myung was a beautiful man.
he knows it, but their look of quiet admiration made the blood rush to his face. he wasn't used to seeing someone look at him so lovingly, not when men and women would throw themselves on him from the lust they felt, not when most people closest to him always had a furrow on their brow from the antics he pulled. this was so new to him, he didn't dare move, lest it broke this tender moment.
have they ever looked at anyone like this?
probably not, he thinks, closing his eyes to savour the smooth pad of their thumb drawing circles on his cheek. smile tugging up the side corner of his mouth as the scent of the sun grows a little closer, their lips brushing over the hard lines on his face, his sun-kissed skin.
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he doesn't have a lot of joys in this second life.
though there was one that everyone around him seemed to have picked up on. it was strange that someone as seemingly money-hungry as he was found content in the simplest things — his bedding washed in plum-blossom-scented soap, freshly dried to a crisp under the blazing sun.
what the others don't see was how behind the closed doors of his sleeping quarters he would hold onto the sheets so tightly in his grip his knuckles turned white. burrowing his face into the fabric, he breathed in deeply, trying to recall the face of his sun.
a hazy figure, a blurry visage.
it's been a hundred years, after all.
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