Show!Mat throwing a spear at Ishamael missing and hitting Rand
Show!Mat: D:
Book!Mat: …. Real smooth.
Show!Mat: oh, fuck off!
Book!Mat: jokes on you I don’t know what that means!
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The Wheel of Time character types:
The Dumb Puppy - aka - Serial Imprinter - aka - Won't Get A Single Break From Now Until the Final Heat Death of the Universe... Or After.
Tiny and Angry - aka - The Sleeping Berserk Button - aka - The One They're Not Gonna See Coming Until She Rips Out All Their Throats.
'If my middle name wasn't Spite it would be Fuck You' - aka - The Duck Mother to the Very Dumb Baby Ducks - aka - Will Spend at Least an Episode a Season Inside a Tragic Romance B-Plot - aka - Had The Braincell, Temper Made Her Lose It (she contains multitudes).
The Violent Sunshine Character - aka - Would Sucker Punch a God for a Homie She Met Two Hours Ago.
If Evil, Why Hot?
The word 'Nap' isn't in her vocabulary but it should be - aka - Can't Have 'One Nice Thing' for More Than Two and a Half Minutes - aka - Allergic to Feelings.
'There's a big sign that says Don't Touch The Red Button... I'm gonna touch the Red Button.' - aka - Who is This... Self Esteem You Speak Of? Never Heard of Them.
Voted Most Likely to be Adopted by a Hundred Random Strangers - aka - The Wolves Would Like Him to Get the Braincell but it Fell on the Ground and the Ground is Lava.
Doesn't Get Paid Enough for this Shit - aka - Clinging to the Last Braincell With the Tips of His Fingernails - aka - 'I can't believe I of all people am willing to have a single goddamn conversation here.'
'Fine I'll Do the Babysitting But You Owe Me So Much Booze' - aka - The Aunt That Once Forgot You In the Mall - aka - The Aunt That Gave You All the Safe Sex Tips and Traumatized You For Life - aka - The Aunt That Would Absolutely Bury a Body No Questions Asked.
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Rand after being chained to a giant wheel in his dreams by dominatrix Lanfear: I wish Mat and Perrin were here. They know how to talk to girls.
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Wot Characters and the Taylor Swift song I most associate with them and their favorite Era!(excluding Debut and Tortured Poets Department)
Rand: You’re on Your Own Kid, when asked he consistently says Speak Now
Mat: Cruel Summer, he insists he’s only really listened to Reputation-this is a lie- Midnights is his favorite album
Perrin: Paper Rings, the Lover Album is by and large his favorite- however Fearless is a close second- he just thinks the songs are pretty
Egwene: Wildest Dreams, she’s a Reputation girly first and foremost
Nynaeve: Treacherous, Folklore zero elaboration needed
Elayne: Mastermind, 1989 is her favorite album by far
Min: You Belong With Me, she’s a Red girly and was the one who got Mat to listen to Taylor’s entire discography
Avienda: Red, Avienda isn’t very familiar with all the eras but after Elayne showed her all the albums she picked Evermore
Faile: Stay Stay Stay, just like Egwene she’s a Reputation girly(secretly her favorite is Lover)
Tuon: You’re In Love, Tuon claims to not have any preference but catch her listening to Folklore on repeat
Morraine: The Lucky One, Evermore without a doubt
Siuan: Lavender Haze, she’s a fan of the classics and loves Fearless
Lan: I Know Places, his favorite album is folklore because it’s Nynaeve’s
Thom: Exile, he appreciates the storytelling of Folklore
Brynn: Epiphany, he does not know the names of the albums but he liked most of the songs on Red
Gawyn: Anti-Hero, he insists he doesn’t like Taylor Swift but the answer is 1989
Galad: Karma, without hesitation he says Midnights
Berelain: Slut!, this is a woman who listens to Red, A Lot
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thinking about soulmates in the wheel of time. i like to imagine couples from the past keep coming back to each other when they’re reincarnated. they see each other in the present timeline and they’re like oh. i remember you. but they don’t bc they don’t remember anything about their past lives. but a part of them is drawn to the other person. a part of them feels the warmth and familiarity of the other person. their eyes meet and the background fades and the world stops and they’re like yes. you. i know you. we’ve met before.
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