#feels like he's not enough

[dancingundermoonlight101]

-Orion Pax's Diary-

Is there a right way to love? Or is love subjective to the one experiencing it? It is not often me and Megaronus speak on the subject. He thinks it is something only those privileged enough to not worry about death are allowed to feel and pursue. But that doesn't mean we haven't talked about it.

I have heard, whether he knows it or not, the exact way he'd love. He'd not be shy on compliments. Megaronus would admire the one he loves from head to pede and say out loud how beautiful they'd be. Gorgeous. He'd admire their frame silently, too. His optics full of worship.

It has me thinking about the way I love him. I feel like I'm lacking. I know subjectively that Megatronus is a very attractive mech, yet that's not what I think about when I'm with him. I think on the way he makes me feel, how his presence draws me in, and how his words always capture my attention. He is a melody I'd never tire of hearing. A flawed painting that I'd never tire of seeing. But even so, do I truly love him if I can't even compliment his looks? It feels like a no-brainer in my processor. Megatronus is undeniably attractive. But I feel like since it's such an obvious thing that it would be alright to not mention it. Primus, why am I even thinking about this? Megatronus doesn't love me. But.. if we were to be together. Would this be the cause of some problems? Would he want to receive compliments but find none with me? I don't want that. I want Megatronus to always know how much I love him! But do I really love him? Well, the answer is yes. But what if it's just deep admiration? Sure, my spark aches to think him betrothed to another, and I might already be planning a lonely future for myself where he's already conjuxed, and I can't let go of these feelings. But what if they're just that? Daydreams? Could I be in love with how unattainable he is?

My reason for thinking this is how often dreams I'm having include me and Megaronus possibly being together. Megatronus confessed to me in one of them, yet I felt conflicted. I wanted to emediatly say yes, but another part of me felt speechless. I didn't want to accept, but I didn't want to deny either. Neither I nor him are ready for commitment. He himself has told me that. I wouldn't want to selfishly jump into a relationship that won't last. I want me and Megaronus to be together for a long, long time. But these dreams keep reminding me how I'm likely not going to want a relationship with him without that trust that I'm not just a spur of the moment choice.

It's foolish and an insult to Megatronus to think him so shallow. He would definitely put a lot of thought into his decision. But the anxiety in my spark can't help but think that I'm not going to be worthy of such thought. That if he were to confess to me, I would just be the easy option because of how much I want to be with him. It hurts. I have never felt such conflicting feelings inside me. Would others judge me? "Why love a mech you can't trust?" Or "If you don't want to be something with him right now, why still pursue him?"

I love him, and I do trust him. I just don't trust myself. Who would love and cherish the thoughts and ideas of a boring librarian like me? I'm not even that attractive, nor am I strong. He would definitely want to be with someone as strong as him. His equal. Megatronus has a mind like no other. I hope that, if I try hard enough, I can stand together with him. At least in that regard.

He challenges my thinking, my way of life. I love how he inspires change in me like no other. Perhaps I have tunnel vision, but I see no other future I'd rather have than one where me and him are together. There would never be a day I wouldn't thank Primus for letting me be lucky enough to be with him. Where I wouldn't try my best to let him know how much he is loved. How he is worthy of every achievement. I would comfort him, too, to the best of my abilities when something is wrong.

I just.. want to experience all the good and bad that life has to offer with him. Forever. It's just.. not the right time.

Will there ever be a right time?

#megop #transformers #angst #megatronus #orion pax #optimus prime #megatron #megatron x optimus prime #i love writing #I'm sleepy #had inspiration #I just love talking about love #it's a drug #my drug #Orion loves Megatronus a lot #he just worries. a lot. #feels like he's not enough #or just not Megatronus's type #transformers prime

[poorly-drawn-mdzs]

The math just adds up!

#dungeon meshi #falin touden #marcille donato #farcille #I always loved how chapter 27 ends with them both so bloody and 28 starts with them in the bath. #not just because of how iconic the bathtub moment is but because you know they had to scrap off so much gore first. #I think everyone in the party took a very long and methodical bath but Falin was basically *all* blood*. #Being covered in blood is one of those 'just girly things' that women deserve to stop being shamed about. #I just don't think Chilchuck is progressive enough. He probably made them take a bath first B*/ #Okay jestering aside I want to just highlight - #The magnitude of Marcille's joy at seeing her dearest friend again! Of holding her and sharing her presence in the same room! #Something about this reunion feels like a beautiful dream you are afraid of waking up from...

[comradekatara]

i know that a lot of people take issue with the fact that pakku only agrees to teach katara because he realizes that she’s the granddaughter of the woman he tried to get with a bajillion years ago, but i actually see that moment of him realizing that kanna left to escape their marriage as a moment of self-reflection from him. like, imagine having to contend with the fact that your rancid vibes drove the love of your life away after having just publicly humiliated her fourteen year old granddaughter who was begat on the literal other side of the earth because how that’s far she went to escape him. sokka gets the moment of realizing “oh, men and woman are ontologically equal in their capacities, and divisions between genders are socially assigned and arbitrary,” but that isn’t really pakku’s deal at all. pakku’s deal is more like, “oh, my unyielding insistence on adhering to and imposing unjust patriarchal traditions actually makes me deeply unpleasant to be around and drives my loved ones away. maybe I should take a fucking chill pill perhaps.”

like, the fact that katara ultimately loses the fight and nothing she actually says or does persuades him is interesting, because it means that his reflection is internal, his moment of revelation not brought about by didactic moralizing, but through taking a long, hard look in the mirror, and realizing that being kind is more important than being right. and that’s why he seems to make an effort to be friendlier and more helpful, more so than making any effort to become a male feminist and fight for women’s rights. sokka, for example, initially has a narrow view of gender because his worldview is limited and then it expands, but pakku, by contrast, is literally a member of the white lotus; he is old and worldly, so he clearly already understands that their tribe’s traditions are not ontologically necessitated, but he nonetheless supports them because they benefit him. it is only when he learns that the love of his love literally escaped their tribe and left behind everything she ever knew just to avoid him that he decides to reevaluate his staunch insistence on clinging to his patriarchal values. and who wouldn’t. i mean, that’s gotta fucking hurt!

i know that katara’s fight against him does feel like a grand feminist moment as she fights for her ideals and her rights as a girl, and to her (and to us as the audience) it certainly does feel that way, but to pakku, his change of heart is one of realizing that he should probably stop being an asshole to every woman he’s ever met while he still has a few good years left. a core motif of katara’s arc is that she cannot actually preach her ideals and simply enlighten every asshole she meets, as much as she’d certainly like to; enlightenment comes from within. and so it is pakku’s regrets that motivate him to be kinder, because it’s never too late to change for the better. and that’s kind of beautiful actually.

#pakku #katara #sokka #(ish) #kanna #I feel like ive never really given pakku enough attention #im always kind of just like ‘L+ ratio + bowling pin ass head’ #but he is interesting. he is #thinking abt the nwt in general. is fascinating #I love it sm

[munsons-mutiny]

One of my favorite trope for Steddie is Steve hunting down Eddie when the kids join Hellfire and giving him a long list of dos and donts.

At first Eddie thinks he’s just being a prick, and worried he’s going to turn the nerds into freaks like him. Especially when he says not to mention drugs in front of Dustin.

But then he starts pulling out lists of monsters that can’t be in campaigns. And like what??? Why can’t he use demagorgons? They were gonna be in the next combat! He’s tempted to ignore the warnings, in fact he’s all set to, but something about Steve’s face when he was laying it all out haunts him. Something so deadly serious about it. So first he decides to test the waters to see if he’s full of shit.

When the session starts, he makes a throwaway comment, “you’re acting like there’s a mindflayer around the corner.”

All the kids freeze but Wheeler especially looks like he’s going to be sick. He even grabs at the bracelet around his wrist. The one he always said his best friend made him before he moved.

Eddie curses himself for even trying to test it out after that, and immediately bullshits the whole session so he can scrap any hint of demogorgans from the campaign.

After that session he drives straight to Harringtons house and demands they go over all the things he can’t include again, in detail, while he takes notes.

He doesn’t know what’s going on with these freshmen, but he knows trauma when he sees it and well he’d gotten attached to the gremlins.

When he leaves that night, he thinks Steve is looking at him with approval. Like he trusts him with their well-being now.

#stranger things #eddie munson #steve harrington #mike wheeler #lil bit of byler #just a hint #also I firmly believe there’s not enough Eddie and Mike content in this fandom #like Mike worshipped him too #styled himself after him #and arguably needs Eddie more than Dustin does since he’s already got Steve #idk why I just feel like if anyone can kill season 3 and 4 Mike it’s Eddie #bring back my sweet season 1 and 2 leader who puts his friends before everything else #steddie #mine

[reineydraws]

i dont have a caption for you lol i'll let shanks's heart eyes speak for themselves 🫶

(source)

#mishanks #akataka #dracule mihawk #hawkeyes mihawk #shanks #akagami no shanks #red haired shanks #one piece #one piece fanart #incorrect one piece quotes #op fanart #i have accidentally signed up for too much to draw as lesurely as i have been lol soz 🙏 #but i noticed my blog got taken off the mishanks tag's top blog list which clearly means i havent posted enough abt them recently LOL #comic #op comic #shanks: no u dont understand. he only calls me by my first name when he's feeling soft and he would never let anyone else touch his face #especially like that from behind! and first thing in the morning? anyone else would find themselves without a hand. #i call my angel all these lovely pet names and in return he lowers all his walls and i love him 🥰🥰🥰 #(mihawk on the side is feeling extremely exposed lol) #(but also fond 🥰 he loves him back so much too!!!)

[lokh]

fake dating au where shuro ends up pretending to go out with laios in order to secure his inheritance.... but is it really what he wants? a journey of romance and self discovery that ill never ever write

#i imagine some political intrigue too but frankly i dont know enough #not pictured: marcille and co losing their fucking minds becos laios what were u THINKING #shuro #nakamoto toshiro #laios touden #laishuro #dungeon meshi #dungeon meshi spoilers #art #maizuru #i imagine shuro also doesnt want to win his succession with something so. underhanded and untrue lmao. #and then when it DOES become true... well does he even want it really 😭 #i feel like hed still end up doing it but at least hes actually examined his own wants etc #delicious in dungeon

[notherpuppet]

Pajama Al

#hazbin hotel #alastor #everyone had pjs except Alastor #maybe he doesn’t sleep #he do be creepy like that so I wouldn’t be surprised #but I also feel like he is enough of a diva to have fancy pjs anyway #hazbin hotel fanart #my doods

[qiinamii]

i wouldn't have met you

#guess whats stuck in my head now #i actually havent caught onto any shows or series for several years and to follow up this one i think has been really pleasant #and painful #its been really nice to see closure for simon hes such an old man skrunkle #i dont even watch a lot of AT in the past but i do know enough to feel that pain like Man i almost forgot shows can be Worth it #fionna the human #fionna campbell #cake the cat #simon petrikov #and a tiny dash of #winter king #qiiarts #fionna and cake #adventure time

[lunarlivs]

here is harry as fun kids i found on pinterest :)

#he’s so #i literally have no words on how much i love this little fictional nugget #i feel so emotional over him #like #he #ah #MY BABY #MY CHILD #okay that’s enough #my fav one is the spidey glasses one #i’m also probs gonna do a marauders version of this bc this was just way too funnnnnnn #marauders #marauders era #fanart #marauders fanart #james potter #james potter fanart #harry potter #harry potter fanart #harry james potter #harry james potter fanart #my art

[thatpunnyperson]

According to NBC here in the US, the missing titanic sub has been found. As debris. Off the bow of the Titanic wreckage.

And it looks like the sub suffered what we all suspected, and what was undoubtedly the more merciful of the two options: a catastrophic implosion from the pressure.

Also, more info has come to light about the fishing trawler with the hundreds of migrants that sank cataclysmically off the coast of Greece, indicating that the greek coast guard knew about the vessel AND how much trouble the vessel was in, and were towing it at a speed that made it capsize, at which point they unhooked the tow line and watched the trawler sink without helping the passengers to safety. Despite a bunch of other ships trying to help as well throughout the whole ordeal.

So a lot of people are dead, all because of regulations (and the lack thereof) regarding sea-faring vessels and rescue protocols. People shouldnt be allowed to make a business charging a ton of money for a ride on an uncertified, unsafe, un-seaworthy ship going deep into the ocean with no distress beacon or tether to the mothership. People also shouldnt be allowed to enact laws that criminalize the ferrying of refugees, which then force the refugees to hitch rides on fishing trawlers, and which also prevent people from helping those fishing trawlers full of refugees due to fear of legal consequences.

Hopefully BOTH of these events spark changes on an international scale in terms of what is legally allowed to be sailed, who is legally allowed to be the passengers, and what the rescue protocols are in the event of disaster for any seafaring vessel, illegal or not. It shouldnt be just the global 1% who get 24/7 search parties and remote-operated submersibles helping rescue them.

#the question of 'what do we owe to each other' can be answered simply with 'the dignity of retrieving our remains when we die' #another answer is 'the dignity of thinking about each other fellow humans with similar motivations and feelings' #also 'stopping someones potentially self-destructive behaviors just because theyre rich and want to feel special' #also i feel like humans have been sailing the seas long enough that it should be guaranteed that people will survive sea voyages #im very mad about specifically mediterranean maritime disasters because we have ancient writing saying they made it safe #sailing from Egypt to Greece was so old hat and safe that people legit took the ancient equivalent of cruises back and forth #cleopatra habitually sailed from alexandria to rome with a ton of ships and was fine #Nero tried to have his mother drowned at sea by orchestrating a dramatic shipwreck while she was our sailing AND SHE SURVIVED #and then swam to shore got back to rome and whooped his ass #fuckin pliny the elder tried to evacuate people from pompeii and the surrounding coast villages when vesuvius erupted #and he actually WAS able to rescue people #but he himself had an asthma attack from the fumes which led to a heart attack and he died on the beach #there is legit no excuse for that trawler of migrant refugees to have wrecked #negligence all around #anyway #oceangate

[chaos-bringer-13]

I've seen a lot of people writing Danny as a space ancient and Dan and Dani as ghosts with moon and sun cores, being sort of parts, versions of Danny and therefore weaker. Now, consider: Dan and Dani are both powerful ghosts with really cool cores and stuff but Danny is just some guy™

Dan, who came from an alternate timeline and is kind of from the future but also not, is Clockwork's apprentice and will eventually become an ancient of time. He probably only agreed to have some lessons with Clockwork to understand better what happened to him, but he enjoys his apprenticeship now.

Dani, with her love of travelling, loves seeing all the different places the world offers to her, and that includes space and different planets and maybe even parallel universes, and she accidentally ends up being an apprentice of the space ancient. For now she's probably a baby ancient of freedom or something like that, but she might become an ancient of space in the future.

We can also have something like Dan having a core of destruction or Dani being the Speed Force if you want it to be dcxdp, or any headcanon of yours about their cool powers.

And then there's Danny. And yeah, everyone knows that he's super powerful, but also he's just some guy.

It can go different routes. Does everyone know that Danny is just Danny? Or do they think that with siblings (well, technically a clone and an alternate version, but whatever) so powerful, he must be even stronger? Is Danny actually something terrifyingly eldritch and ancient and strong, almost a god, but he just doesn't know himself? Or is he just really some guy?

Now, because it's obvious that I have a dcxdp brainrot, have a regular "JL summons/meets a powerful ghost" but its Dan and Dani, and they keep mentioning their original/brother who won a fight against them at some point. The JL is very concerned about Dan and Dani's godlike powers, and they can't imagine what Danny is like. And then they meet him (in his human form), and it's just a young adult in casual clothes, very friendly and helpful, with no evident powers. Imagine the confusion. Imagine Dan and Dani, radiating power, in their eldritch ghost forms, admitting that fighting Danny for real is the dumbest thing to do and not even they would succeed... And then there's Danny is jeans and silly t-shirt, waving shyly.

#DO YOU SEE MY VISION #please #I'm not getting enough sleep #my brain is obsessed with weird stuff #I want Sam who barely looks human because she's one with nature #I want Tucker who looks regal and dangerous in his pharaoh clothes #I want Dan look like he can destruct the Earth with a wave of his hand #I want Dani who is everything there is in the world and you feel it in your bones #I want Jazz who sees your soul and your mind and you know it and there's nowhere to run #I want JL to meet all of them before meeting Danny #I want all of them to admit in their different ways that Danny is the greatest of them #I want JL to be VERY worried about meeting Danny #and then I want Danny to be as normal and friendly as possible #and I want him to treat all those eldritch creatures (his family and friends) as they're regular humans and nothing is weird about them #just hugs and love and praises #because it would cause so much confusion #this is NOT ghost king Danny #unless it is but he doesn't know (and either no one knows or no one told him because it's funnier this way and he's super oblivious) #dpxdc #dcxdp #dp x dc #dc x dp #DPxDC #DCxDP #danny phantom #isn't a crossover if you don't want it to be #could be any crossover if you do want it to be

[snowberryc]

When you remember that paintings can talk in TWST:

You can't forget about Rosalia from Cater's vignette, she's lonely too.

#twisted wonderland #twst imagines #twst malleus #malleus draconia #twst shitpost #art #twst #disney twisted wonderland #twst art #twst grim #can you imagine the great seven just talking to crowley about how he should look after the prefect better #i feel like malleus would just throw tea parties for people who get rejected or not invited to parties like himself #malleus x yuu #yuu is crowleys adopted child but crowley is a very bad father #twst yuu #twst rosalia bc cater doesnt appreciate her enough

[steveharirngton]

♡ my DREAMBOY ♡

#can you tell im obsessed? #this interview made me love him even more like if thats even possible #dreamboy was so out of it and i FEEL the same 🤣 #anyways i love him #he should read me a book #if i say it enough it will happen maybe #joe keery #steve harrington #djo #gator tillman #lockscreens #? #sean lockwood #baron lamram #walter mckey #joekeeryedit #steveharringtonedit

[potassiumprincess]

i think marinette is worse at resting when she's sick but adrien is worse at sitting things out if he's injured. i have no explanation, these are just the vibes

#ml #marinette dupain cheng #adrien agreste #okay i lied i do have justifications #adrien probably just. would love being taken care of if he's sick #it's maybe something his mom used to do but not ENOUGH #and marinette would absolutely spoil him #but marinette is all I AM FINE IT IS JUST A COLD I AM FINE meanwhile she nearly falls off a rooftop in a dizzy spell #but adrien hate being kept away from ppl he loves. hates not being able to protect them. and an injury is more long-term and isolating #meanwhile...idk marinette feels to me like an injurt would leave her more defeated. she'd feel like she failed somehow #like she is SUPPOSED to be ladybug she is SUPPOSED to keep herself together to keep the city safe #so i think that would take a lot of her energy she'd be frustrated about it yes but also sort of...admit defeat #adrien would find ways to cheer her up though 🥺

[somegrumpynerd]

Thinking about how Nightmare has 4 mortals and 3 of them are so so bad at taking care of themselves

#UTDR #UTMV #My Art #Truce au #Killer Sans #Dust Sans #Cross Sans #Horror Sans #Nightmare Sans #''I don't feel like drawing a bunch I'll just do a quick silly doodle'' sits up until 1am finishing this #But this is about their bad habits not mine so #Killer and Cross are the worst offenders for sleep but they're pretty managable #Dust is the worst for food but Horror can coax him into enough food to get by #Horror was - for a short time when he first joined - Nightmare's clear favourite #Because he would actually ASK for things when he needed them #(Not that his joining didn't have problems of it's own but y'know #Nightmare was starting to expect it at this point) #I should ramble for 10 pages about the boys joining the gang someday #Not now cause I'm going to bed but y'know #Anyway goodnight gang!

[skullism]

rereading aftg and realising just how oblivious neil was is truly hilarious

just a few pages ago renee told neil andrew is gay and neil literally had to lie down to process it, now he's admitting he watches andrew at the gym and is impressed by how much he lifts??? dude. you are down SO bad

#oblivious idiot. I love him #aftg #all for the game #neil josten #andrew minyard #andreil #also I feel like some ppl really gloss over how much upper body strength andrew has #his racquet is HUGE and heavy as hell #and he lifts enough to impress neil (the guy who literally never compliments/praises anyone) #plus he eats so much sugar and seemingly couldn't care less about maintaining a proper athlete's diet #andrew is jacked. andrew is beefy #and neil loves it #finch.txt