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loquaciousquark · 4 years

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Talks Machina Highlights - Critical Role C2E111 (Redux! Oct. 13, 2020)

Gooooood evening good evening good evening, all! I started the VOD late for this recap and somehow the first four or so minutes of the show have a Twitch audio copyright claim, so I am reduced to only reading Brian's lips when he asks if we're on the internet. Hilariously, Marisha's background room is a comfy-looking blue/gold fabric wall with a ceramic colorful abstract lamp and a yellow silk scarf over the lampshade, and Taliesin's is an industrial looking games room in grey and black with multiple monitors, overhead speakers, and mysterious metal fixtures behind him. What a treasure this group is, honestly.

Tonight's guests: Marisha Ray & Taliesin Jaffe, discussing episodes 110 and 111 again. I wildly speculate once more about what might have caused their absence: jury duty? Sam appearing on The Masked Singer? Something to do with the animated show? One day, we’ll know, one day... (One day this “copyrighted audio” section will come back from the wars, too. Ugh!) Finally! The audio comes back to reveal Brian discussing the endless reality of digital meetings and Marisha talking about (I think) her glare-reducing glasses she’s wearing. Welcome to the New Age (welcome to the New Age, to the New Age).

Announcements: Marisha suggests checking out Dimension20, another live tabletop gaming group, which premieres live on Wednesdays at 4pm (CollegeHumor).

Brian immediately wants to know how they feel about the revelation that Molly is alive. Taliesin’s personal reaction: he “knows some things” he can’t talk about and is aware of several possibilities that might be going on, but had a sneaking suspicion that there would not be a body for them to find. He says it’s almost all there for anyone to see in past material. Marisha’s personal reaction: she just wants to know how she’s doing with her theories, & was trying to block Tal’s face out deliberately as she was going off on her theories in the last episode. Taliesin says he thought her ideas were pretty good!

Cad has no clue what to think - it’s like listening to your friends talk about Buffy. Marisha thought it was a 50/50 Molly would still be there, but Beau had no idea. Not that it mattered, because as soon as Matt went through with it the reveal still blew their minds. Tal laid out his plans for the character with Matt during Campaign One (towards the end) after they all got their VM tattoos.

It is a “horrifying and gross” thing to dig up a body, and Beau was pretty reluctant to do it. Tal, as Cad: “Sometimes dead’s better.” The moral quandary of trying to speak with a dead friend was very different here than the frequent occasions they used the spell in C1.

Taliesin says his poker face is very bad, so it’s easier for him to over-react and let it all play out. The only other player he can see very easily from his place in their current setup is Travis, and because he knows Travis doesn’t watch TM, tweet, or participate in social media, he admits he thoroughly enjoyed watching Travis freak out at his freaking out. He says he only knew about 20% of what Matt described at the end of that episode. He was picking things to mug to increase Travis’s surprise. I love this so much.

Taliesin provided the table left leg shake; Travis provided table right. Ha!

Beau is really accepting her role in the Cobalt Soul. It’s good when “as a person, you feel like you can settle into your calling. Sometimes you can do more from the inside than fighting from the outside.” It’s a mirrored but opposite path of Keyleth from C1; Beau felt like she was too good for her duty, while Keyleth thought she wasn’t good enough.

Caduceus is not a big believer in jumping to conclusions. He does have an idea/notion of the “city of the undead” and thinks all this necrotic energy must come from somewhere, and wonders if this is the “capital of anti-death.” He’s willing to believe whatever he sees. This is one of the few things that trigger a bit of loathing and disgust in him. It was terrifying that the Wildmother didn’t know anything.

Beau is pretty confident in her Charlie Day impression laying-out-the-research last episode. She enjoyed taking the things that were known & extrapolating around them; this is a huge facet of Marisha’s own personality and she really enjoys it, so she built a character this time that would allow that kind of puzzle-solving. It’s also why she repeatedly notes when Beau journals, so she can avoid metagaming. Trent’s mention of Vess Durogna’s tomb raiding was completely circumstantial, and the only reason she’d made the connection to the Tombtakers was because she’d recently reviewed those notes for a separate unannounced project. Sometimes she tries to make connections and Matt is like, “It was...just descriptive. Just flavor. The curtains were red...” and she has to discard a paragraph of notes. She feels like it’s still something they have to do because of “look at what he does! Look! It’s totally valid!”

Cosplay of the Week: @kitsunstudios with a gorgeous Caduceus with a very intricate silk vest.

Caduceus’s takedown of Trent! One of my favorite moments in the entirety of C2. Taliesin felt Trent was an asshole; Caduceus felt sorry for him because of how dumb he thought he was. Caduceus’s response was "this is the dumbest man I’ve ever met in my life. He’s so dumb! Is nobody going to tell this guy how dumb he is? Oh, they’re all freaked out. Somebody needs to tell this guy he’s an idiot before somebody gets hurt.” (Marisha: “Before?”) Tal says it was the product of several years of therapy and many drunk conversations with Whitney Moore. It was from a genuine place of concern from Caduceus. “How are you allowed to have this much power and be that dumb?”

Brian loved how funny it was to watch everyone tiptoe around Trent and then Caduceus bulldoze through the end of the meal.

Taliesin: “Damage doesn’t make you interesting or better. It’s not what makes you good. Character isn’t found in damage. Just recovery.”

Brian & Marisha commiserate going through the stage where believing surviving something automatically made you a stronger person, better for the pain; instead it just meant you had to pick up the pieces after. Marisha talks about how strength through survival may be true for some people, but it shouldn’t be considered a necessity. Taliesin talks about how he used to think he had to be miserable to write. Brian talks about how believing he liked reading and writing miserable things only limited him for years.

Marisha feels it’s a C2 theme that almost all the PCs have someone trying to handwave or take credit for their accomplishments or explain their pain as being for their own good (Trent, Beau’s dad, Obann). She thinks it’s interesting to see all the various ways people try to take credit for your work/delegitimize you as a person. She loves that RPGs allow you to explore these odd moralities in interesting ways. The only way to fight it is to have a sense of your own self-worth, which is a problem a lot of the M9 started with.

Caduceus likes everyone, and really likes people who appear to need role models (Eodwulf). “With the right friends and the right bar and the right attitude, I think he’d be okay. Come over here where it’s so much better. That seems like an exhausting friendship that you have there.”

Marisha loves the mix of personalities in the M9; Veth, Cad, & Jester were all “we kind of like them!” after the dinner, and she immediately made eye contact with Travis and they both shook their heads. She knows Beau has to go along with it for Caleb’s sake for now, but she & Fjord are pretty sus of Trent’s proteges.

Beau is less concerned about Artagan’s relationship to Jester because “he showed his ass--she’s less worried about Jester now because a little of the magic is gone.” It’s a little like becoming an adult and realizing your parents are also just adults & human. Caduceus wasn’t suspicious of the Traveler for a long time until they got to the island. Aside: Taliesin loves the pantheon in D&D. “The notion of attempting to apply common Western conceptions of religion to a world where you have a pantheon of interventionist gods as baseline makes no sense to me. Everyone admits that every other god is there and doing shit; it has more in common with ancient Rome than anything else.” Now that he knows it was a con, he feels the wind had been taken out of it. He does have a sense that Jester’s gotten back together with an ex: “I hope that I’m really happy for you.” They’re both interested to see how Jester navigates the new relationship.

My internet goes out, of course. I panic for a second, thinking I’ve lost everything above, but all is well! Thanks, Form History Control addon!

Marisha loved punching Artagan, but regretting rolling so poorly. “I miss violence.” Dani lets us know it’s been about four episodes since the last battle.

There’s no way the Cobalt Reserve doesn’t have a single document on the Eyes of Nine. Beau believes “there are no real secrets” because people are just bad at not writing things down. For there to be no information at all seems really suspicious for her.

Fanart of the Week: @oddalchemist on twitter with some awesome Beau conspiracy red-thread boards overlaid a distant shadowy Molly walking away.

Caduceus feels a little guilty for really enjoying his time right now with the M9 and not wanting to go home. He’s starting to suspect that he’s going to go home very different than when he left. “He has the softest problems. I don’t know if I want to move back in with Mom & Dad.”

Beau is trying to get comfortable with the idea of being happy. Jester is probably Beau’s first real best friend & one of the first healthy female friendships she’s ever had. As long as she still has Jester in her life, she doesn’t care. For Yasha... “At the end of the day, Beau is a lonely person and has always been a lonely person. And I think you kinda reach this point where once you’re not lonely anymore, you can kind of come out of the fog and realize that was horrible! And terrifying! And is even more terrifying now that I know what I could have, and I don’t want to go back to that. At the end of the day Beau doesn’t want to be lonely anymore. There’s always been that flirtation with Yasha, but everyone had to figure their own shit out. And now it feels like it’s coming out a little bit of that haze, maybe this actually could be...” There are a lot of ways they complement each other & are good-different from each other. Marisha believes people can be attracted to more than person at once.

Caduceus doesn’t think nature turned against him on Rumblecusp, it was just a reality of nature being dangerous and violent. “He has a complex relationship with nature.” He doesn’t expect special treatment.

Thoughts on the mansion: “Man, it’s nice to be seen.” Marisha: “I don’t know how I ended up becoming the Scanlan of this campaign, but I’m living for it.” It felt like an echo of “I’m better for having known you.” They compare Marisha taking specific notes on the campaign to Liam taking specific notes on people’s favorite tapestries, comics, etc.

They talk about missing theme parks and daydream a park version of the mansion in CritRoleLand. It’s lovely.

Taliesin never expected Divine Intervention to work; he just wanted to roll some dice. He’s still processing what he saw/heard. They all agree it was very useful in the Vokodo fight.

Vilya! Marisha: “Ah! Ah! Ah!” As a player, Marisha was so deep in Beau’s eyes she didn’t pick up it was Vilya at first (especially since Matt really emphasized they should not be looking for C1 NPCs). Marisha’s brain melted. She bawled her eyes out on the ride home after that episode. Right after it ended, Laura told Marisha “Keyleth finally gets her happy ending,” and it makes Marisha emotional again since Keyleth’s story ended so bittersweetly. She talks about the very real feelings of “just wanting them to be happy, though!” She went back and listened to all her old Keyleth playlists. Everyone was teary after the episode. “Everyone has these 100% real memories of being these characters and having these good times.”

And that’s that for that! Thanks for your patience, all, and is it Thursday yet?

#critical role #critical role spoilers #talks machina #talks machina spoilers #long post for ts

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laerrynseelie · 3 years

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shadowgast in "cowboy like me"

hello and welcome to another episode of Coco projects all of her issues onto Caleb Widogast and also cries about the Other Gay Purple Wizard™. this episode is sponsored by severe sleep deprivation and being in the airport at 6am, which is where I wrote most of this. but this is also something I've been yelling about for weeks, primarily at @theravenkingscourt and @dinah-lance, sponsored by taylor swift and emotions.

I will begin this dissertation with the song "cowboy like me" by Taylor Swift, from the album "evermore." those overlapping in the taylor swift and critical role fandoms have spent a long while yelling about how cowboy like me was MADE for shadowgast, and it is. here is my most recent annotation of the song lyrics (spoilers, obvs):

cowboy like me has many lines that have a direct, literal line to shadowgast, such as "the old men that I've swindled" == Ikithon, etc. but the things I want to highlight here are the themes it presents, and why I hold these boys so near and dear to my heart, and maybe why you do too. (also cc: @shadowgastweek)

many lines repeat but can have various, literal and metaphorical meanings. "eyes full of stars" can be about Rosohna, the dumancy floor of the tower, or ambition and power and desire. the fun thing about this is that they all connect together into a wonderful constellation of pain :) without Essek's ambition, the beacons wouldn't have gotten to the Cerberus Assembly, and they may have never met. without Caleb's ambition, he may have never been at the Solstryce Academy, ended up with a beacon, in Rosohna, or met Essek, or learned dunamancy, or have the floor of endless possibility. and much of this is put aside for the Nein and each other. "never thought I'd meet you here" indeed.

the bridge and third stanza of this song go SO. HARD. I have spent MONTHS yelling about the hanging gardens of babylon and no I will not stop. first of all, it's just a great fucking line. "now you hang from my lips / like the gardens of babylon" bitch are you FUCKING kidding me. the story of the gardens is that the queen missed her homeland, which had sprawling greenery, and so the king made her a garden that went around the palace and over roofs. (hey hey hey, gravity, xhorhaus, tower, you get it.) and I want to focus on the question on if the gardens actually exist. there are no surviving babylonian texts that mention the gardens, and no archaeological evidence that it ever existed. so it is a story that no one can confirm, or something completely obliterated by time and society. (or misattributed and was actually a different garden but shh it doesn't fit as well) for me, that's a strong allegory for the queer experience, and looking back at history and relationships. moreover, let's think about Caleb and Essek's interactions, and the fear of showing affection == being outed. studying together, talking close, forehead kisses. something that is not confirmed, or will be obliterated by their circumstances.

a theme that stands out from "cowboy like me" is this idea of wanting love. as a queer asian immigrant kid and a sociology student, the conditions of unconditional love is a concept that fascinates me. societally, unconditional love is talked about a lot, especially in relation to families, which we know if not always the case, and we fear it constantly. it’s hiding bad grades from your parents, or feeling like you need to prove yourself to earn love. it’s going to a pride parade and removing the stickers and face paint on the train home. it’s the fear of abandonment, of what if this is what makes it too much to love me. there was a post floating around (hehe, floating) about how both caleb and essek skirted around the ACTUAL worst things that they've done when asked about it. throughout the campaign, something that Caleb and Essek have gone through, not just with each other but the rest of the Nein, is hiding the unforgiveable things they’ve done because they think that will make them leave. and they take every unforgiveable thing, and they love them anyway. these things still happened, and that’s not okay, and they don’t dismiss it, and maybe, just maybe, if people can love them despite every unforgiveable thing, maybe they can let themselves be loved. maybe they can love themselves. and maybe, they can love, too.

the fear of love not being enough is also threaded through the song. in the case of shadowgast, it's the question of country, of war, political positions, familial desires, friends, location. (it's the question of if matthew mercer will let shadowgast be endgame goddammit.) in caleb's words, it's complicated. the Nein have defeated a lot "with the power of friendship," but what if it's not enough? what if they don't get Molly back, or they're corrupted by the eyes, or they can't get Veth back to her family? what if Trent gets Essek, or Caleb, or the Dynasty finds out, or Astrid and Eadwulf betray them, or they find their way back to old paths of power and ambition. what if love isn't enough?

"and the skeletons in both our closets / plotted hard to fuck this up" hurts me. taylor swift's bridges never miss. first of all, in closets, gay, obligatory pun, yada yada yada. it's also all the unforgiveable things they've done, war and Caleb's family, "important" but "not good" intentions, and all the people who threaten them now, ex. cerberus assembly, bisexual maelstrom, and the fact that Essek worked with the very people who abused and manipulated Caleb. all these previous fears are present in this line.

and when we see someone who is healing, who is loved, doesn't that give us hope? and isn't that present throughout critical role's history? we get to see full grown adults still enjoy a hobby, with a solid group of friends, tell us stories about growth. tell us healing is possible. Liam is Caleb and the Nein, showing this to us, Essek.

I will leave you with this. there is a theory that every relationship we have is a reflection of our relationship with our parents. every relationship is us trying to get that first relationship right, this time. this is fascinating to look at for each of the M9 (Beau and her aggression and strength and standing up against authority; Jester and her positivity and kindness and acceptance; Fjord needing to be strong and taking control), but of course I'm going to talk about Caleb. think of Caleb and Ikithon. think of Caleb and Veth. think of Caleb's need to prove he is good enough, not just in power and intelligence and ambition, but that he is good. that he is good enough. think of how his intelligence is his armor and his weapons, both literally and figuratively. at making sure Veth gets back to her family. of showing off for Essek, believing in Essek and in Essek's goodness. Essek being Caleb's foil is beautiful, but what if this is Caleb, making sure that this time, they survive.

#shadowgast #essek thelyss #caleb widogast #critical role spoilers #critical role #cr spoilers #cr #shadowgast week #i just have a lot of feelings about them and i project all my issues onto caleb #am i caleb or do i just want to date essek #both. both is good #maybe one day i'll talk about why 'tis the damn season is about the blumentrio #I have 7 songs currently in my shadowgast playlist

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eponymous-rose · 4 years

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Talks Machina Highlights - Critical Role C2E98 (March 10, 2020)

Be warned: there are spoilers for the most recent episode below!

Tonight’s guests are Ashley Johnson and Travis Willingham!

Announcements: On Monday at 7 PM Pacific, there will be a special Doom: Eternal one-shot! VOD will be on YouTube on Wednesday. We’re one week away from the release of the new campaign book, Explorer’s Guide to Wildemount!

Episode 98: Dark Waters

Stats! 124 days passed between the Nein’s voyages at sea. It’s been 77 days since Fjord’s pact was broken. Fjord took 40% of the damage taken by the Nein and the crew (Yasha took second-most at 21%).

What’s it like RPing dream sequences with Matt? Ashley: “It gives me the fear.” They both agree it’s a panic feeling first, and then you get excited to see where he’ll go. Travis: “All cognizant thought goes out the window.” Ashley feels like she rushes it sometimes to avoid keeping the attention on her too long, and Travis dreads the open-ended questions: “What do you do?”

This is the first time Travis has had to wait a week to find out if his character will be revived. “Aside from analyzing the fight, it’s been okay, just because we’ve got two dope-ass clerics who feel pretty strongly about Fjord, so I hope we’re in a good place.” He’s mostly concerned about the intangibles and what they don’t know. He didn’t know the orb was still in him---he thought it was destroyed or reset when he threw away the sword. He’s worried that if they try “the normal cleric stuff”, it’s not going to work. He does almost prefer fights that are just dropped on them out of nowhere, because the anticipation is often the most stressful part.

Ashley’s still not sure if she has the feathers or not, since that was in a dream. “Building the character, I didn’t know that would be a possibility for that to change.” It’ll have to come out in the game. “Outside of that, I think-- obviously there’s a lot of healing with the group, but I think in terms of Yasha’s relationship with the Storm Lord, she’s still figuring that out. It’s very tough love, which she’s getting the tough love from the Storm Lord and the familial and kindness and love from the Mighty Nein. So that combo is going to be really good for her to turn things around. I don’t think she’s ever really had a feeling of worthiness outside of maybe being loved by Zuala. So I don’t know what that looks like for her yet, but we’ll see. I think she doesn’t fully know what her purpose is yet.”

Did Travis anticipate a confrontation with Uk’otoa back on the sea? “No, I’m a fucking moron. I didn’t think of that at all! I don’t have anything the ol’ snea snake wants anymore.” Brian: “Yes you do!” Travis: “I didn’t know that!” Dani: “The dark seed of power in you the Wildmother saw?” Travis: “I thought it was metaphorical! Well, now that you say it like that...” He wasn’t upset at all. “More than anything I was just trying to plan my branch narrative for what was going to happen next. More than anything, it became clear that they had just massive intent to come and kill me. I mean, Matt played it beautifully, so even in moments where I was disappointed in myself, like forgetting that enemy characters can hold their turns.”

Cosplay of the Week: a dramatic cape-flaring Fjord! (Ming.of.mings, photo by Rsellos, makeup by Omglobnunu, all on Instagram)

Travis: “The thing that hit me the most was when it came over and it grabs Fjord’s body and starts to walk him off the side of the ship, I was like, Mercer, what the fuck, man! I’m already dead! Give me a second!” He notes that they haven’t done a resurrection ritual yet in this campaign, only revivifies. Losing the two death saves when getting stabbed while unconscious was the moment when he realized how significant the intent was here. Everyone notes how clutch the Counterspell was.

On Jester and Beau showing concern for Yasha’s wellbeing: “I think for a lot of people, sometimes accepting compliments makes you uncomfortable. I’m one of those people. It’s a weird thing for Yasha to hear, because even in her tribe it’s not like that was a normal way of communicating with each other. Only compliments she would have gotten about how she looks or her character as a person were from Zuala. I think, especially with Jester, she’s such an open character that has so much love to give, just bright-eyed and bushy-tailed, just refreshing to be around, they’re all teaching Yasha very, very positive ways to feel and accept that.”

They talk about the way the improvisation can lead to poetic parallels like Yasha and Fjord falling/rising. Ashley: “I feel like so much of that is Matt, and he’s such a masterful storytelling.” Travis: “It’s such a gift, too. He’s giving you something new in the story that you created, and so you have instant ownership of this thing he made just for you.” Ashley: “You just hope you can meet him where he’s at.”

On Yasha’s harp: “Music is a very huge part of my life. I’m using the harp as, yes, for self-care for her, but also I think music can be a form of therapy. There was a moment where I was like, man, it would be so fun to multiclass as a bard, but then I remembered my wisdom is so low... it wouldn’t work. And I actually had talked to Matt about it. There’s more that I want to explore with that, and I don’t quite know what it is yet. I think where it sits right now, it’s a form of therapy for her. I’d been wanting to give her positive things to do to try to pull her out of this place that she’s in, and I think it’s really helpful.”

Seeing the sword again: “I think more than anything, it just unsettled Fjord. There was nothing about that that was easy to adapt to: seeing the sword, and then seeing multiples of the sword, just wondering who is this, what do they have, do they have abilities, what am I missing, how much do I not know about it?” He was initially worried that it was Avantika come back to life.

Fan Art of the Week: Caleb, Caduceus, and Fjord during the fight! (CreativeBleu on Twitter)

On Yasha having a lot of run-ins with creepy people: “I think a lot of that is because of the way I rolled the character, I rolled really low for Yasha’s stats, which is a bummer. She’s very susceptible because of that to being swayed, as we have noticed with Obann and things that have happened in her past. That’s maybe something that she puts out there, where people pick up on that. There’s obviously still and probably will always be a bit of darkness in her. I think people like Icky-thong and Lord Sharpe and people like that can pick up on it. I wanted to play a character like that anyway, I wanted to play somebody with a little darkness in there. I do think it is a source of frustration for her, and that’s where a lot of the guilt comes from.”

Has piecing together Caleb’s past changed Fjord’s opinion of him? “No, not at all. Maybe it’s just me, but seeing how much pain Caleb carries with himself from his past-- if he was flippant about it, that might give him pause, but he’s so fucking tortured about it. He can’t harbor any ill-will or confusion about where his heart lies. He’s full of regret, there’s a real person in there. I think also Fjord is like, I don’t want to be defined by my past, it really, really sucked. Every day since Fjord started with the M9 has been continually the best days of his life, and I think the same is probably true of Caleb. There’s no judgment because that doesn’t help anything. He just want to observe, absorb, acknowledge. You’re making positive changes, and that’s everything. That’s heroic, despite what you think is monstrous. That’s not who I see.” Brian talks about how life can end “when you choose to be defined by your worst moment”. Travis: “People that chain themselves to their past obviously haven’t moved beyond that past, and that process looks different for everyone.” But he believes you should get to define who you are after you’ve moved past that.

On the few new lighthearted moments with Yasha: “I think it’s the comfortability of the people around her. I think it’s just getting more comfortable with everybody, and also it’s just... I don’t know. If I think of something that I think would be funny, I’ll probably say it, but try to keep it in whatever Yasha’s sense of humor would be.” She notes some similarities to Grog. “She’s absolutely a teddy bear on the inside. She sees so much beauty in the world. I love playing those contradictions. She’s always had a sense of humor.”

How does Fjord define being a “good man” now as opposed to the start of the campaign? Initially, it was Vandren: “tough love, not overly emotional, not really available in that way, but conveyed a strong sense of leadership, knows what he wants, is focused, driven, stalwart, dependable, a lot of those bullshit male ideas. Some have value and some are just misplaced. If you try to live up to the idea of somebody else, you’re often going to find yourself going down a path that doesn’t look very familiar. Fuck it, I’m going to be me and see what that is. He’s got the agency. Maybe you just try and be you and hope that’s a good man.”

#critical role #critical role spoilers #talks machina #talks machina spoilers #long text post

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ginkasei · 5 years

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the mighty neineagram playlist

one - fjord stone  i want to sing a song worth singing,  i’ll write an anthem worth repeating.  i want to feel the transformation,  the melody of reformation. but the list goes on forever,  of all the ways i could be better, in my mind.  as if i could earn God’s favor given time,  or at least “congratulations”… now, i have learned my lesson;  the price of this so-called perfection is everything.  i’ve spent my whole life searching desperately  to find out that grace requires nothing of me. i’ll hold it all more loosely,  and yet somehow much more dearly,  ‘cause i’ve spent my whole life searching desperately  to find out that grace requires nothing. grace requires nothing of me.  ~ two - jester lavorre  tell me, is something wrong? if something’s wrong  you can count on me.  you know i’ll take my heart clean apart, if it helps yours beat. it’s okay if you can’t find the words,  let me take your coat  and this weight off of your shoulders. i know exactly how the rule goes:  put my mask on first.  no, i don’t want to talk about myself-  tell me where it hurts. i just want to build you up, build you up  ’til you’re good as new  and maybe one day i will get around to fixing myself too. and i just want to love you, to love you, to love you well.  i just want to learn how, somehow, to be loved myself.  ~ three - caleb widogast  maybe i’ve done enough,  and your golden child grew up.  maybe this trophy isn’t real love-  and with or without it, i’m good enough. for the first time i see an image of  my brokenness utterly worthy of love.  maybe i’ve done enough. i finally see myself.  through the eyes of no one else.  it’s so exhausting on this silver screen  where i play the role of anyone but me. i finally see myself.  unabridged and overwhelmed,  a mess of a story i’m ashamed to tell,  but i’m slowly learning how to break this spell.  and i finally see myself. i only want what’s real-  i set aside the highlight reel,  and leave my greatest failures on display*  (*worthy of love anyway)  ~ four - caduceus clay  as if God hid the building blocks  of every beautiful thing in this game of hide and seek  i can’t help but think that ordinary has swallowed the key bodies fashioned out of dirt and dust  for a moment we get to be glorious  ice sculptures adorned in light  sand castles built tall in between the tides one day i’ll wear it all on my sleeve  the insignificant with the sacred unique this blurry photograph is proof  of what i’m not sure but it feels like truth flashlight in hand determined to find  authenticity only poetry could even begin to try to describe  ~ six - nott the brave  i had the most vivid dream…  my feet had left the ground,  i was floating to heaven  but i could only look down. my mind was heavy,  running ragged with worst case scenarios,  emergency exits and the distance below.  i woke up so worried that the angels let go. oh God i’m so tired  of being afraid. is that courage or faith  to show up everyday?  to trust that there will be light  always waiting behind  even the darkest of nights and no matter what,  somehow we’ll be okay.  don’t be afraid.  ~ seven - mollymauk tealeaf  how nice it’d be if we could try everything.  i’m serious, let’s make a list and just begin.  “what about danger?” so what. “what about risk?”  let’s climb this mountain before we cross that bridge! how wonderful to see a smile on your face.  it costs farewell tears for a welcome-home parade.  a secret handshake between me and my one life:  i’ll find the silver lining no matter what the price. let me tell you another secret of the trade-  it feels like sinking when i’m standing in one place.  so i look to the future and i book another flight.  when everything feels heavy, i’ve learned to travel light. but i want to be here.  truly. be. here.  to watch the ones that i love bloom.  and i want to make room  to love them through and through and through.  and through the slow and barren seasons too. and i’m ready, God i’m ready, oh i’m ready,  restless and hungry, but i’m ready  for whatever comes next.  ~ eight - beauregard lionett  i was just a kid who grew up strong enough  to pick this armor up  and suddenly it fit. now you won’t see all that i have to lose  and all i’ve lost in the fight to protect it.  i won’t let you in. i swore never again-  i can’t afford, no, i refuse to be rejected. when i see fragile things, helpless things, broken things,  i see the familiar.  i was little, i was weak, i was perfect too,  now i’m a broken mirror. i’m standing guard, i’m falling apart  and all i want is to trust you.  show me how to lay my sword down  for long enough to let you through. for the innocent, for the vulnerable,  i’ll show up on the front lines with a purpose.  and i’ll give all i have, i’ll give my blood, i’ll give my sweat-  an ocean of tears will spill for what is broken.  i’m shattered porcelain, glued back together again,  invincible like i’ve never been.  ~

nine - yasha nydoorin  still, i check my vital signs.  choked up, i realize  i’ve been less than half myself  for more than half my life. so please show me what to do  to restart this heart of mine.  how do i forgive myself  for losing so much time? wake up.  roll up your sleeves.  there’s a chain reaction  in your heart,  muscle memory  remembering who you are. stand up.  fall in love again and again and again.  wage war on gravity.  there’s so much  worth fighting for,  you’ll see. to know and love ourselves and others well  is the most difficult and meaningful  work we’ll ever do.  ~

#critical role #cr #crit role #the mighty nein #m9 #cr playlist #btw these are just my lowkey headcanons for their types without repeating and also without knowing a ton of backstory lmao #my stuff #fav o mine

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earthtoerica · 5 years

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The Mighty Nein: Enneagram

So this is a post I didn’t think I would be making, but because I am a big fan of Sleeping At Last’s songs centered around the Enneagram Test, and I love Critical Role, I thought why not combine the two and see which member of the Mighty Nein resonates the most with each song. ( And if you haven’t listened to Sleeping at Last before you absolutely should because their music is so calming and thought-provoking!)

Has this been done before? Perhaps, but I haven’t seen it and thought I’d try my take on it. Here goes nothing!

The List:

One- Beau

Two- Nott

Three- Fjord

Four- Caleb

Five- NPCs + Guest’s Characters

Six- Caduceus

Seven- Jester

Eight- Yasha

Nine- Molly

And here’s why:

One - Beau: “hold on for a minute because I believe that we can fix this over time” “The list goes on forever, with the ways I could be better in my mind” “As if I could earn God’s favor over time, or at least congratulations.”

In times of desperation, Beau will often if not always step up to steer the M9 in the right direction. Though she may push down her emotions to make sure the group can keep going, she appears to have the mindset that anything can be fixed given enough time, or at least changed for the better. That being said, she has stated herself that she thinks she is an asshole, someone who could always improve for the better given the bad things she has done in the past and the fact that she considers herself to be a screw up. But in reality, she is one of the most selfless members of the Mighty Nein, risking life and limb to keep the people she loves safe.

I also think this song relates to Beau the most because she is often questioning her purpose and why she is unworthy of divine support or special abilities. She wonders why she is the only one without powers, striving to earn the favor of the gods, but unsure of what that really means. I hope that over time Beau will come to realize her strength and abilities as a monk and her loyalty and love as a person are what make her special, and that she is as worthy of divine support as anyone else.

Two - Nott: “You know I’ll take my heart clean apart if it helps yours beat” “I know exactly how the rule goes, put my mask on first. No I don’t want to talk about myself tell me where it hurts” “I just want to build you up, build you up, till you’re good as new, and maybe one day I will get around, to fixing myself too.”

When I first thought about making a post like this, I knew immediately that to me Nott resonated completely with the song Two. Choosing to put herself in the line of fire for her loved ones no matter what that might mean for her safety, because as long as the others are safe that is all the matters to her. I mean, literally the line about putting on a mask made me think of Nott automatically, whether it be her doll’s mask or a metaphorical one, to keep others out and her own feelings in. Before we knew about Nott’s backstory she would always deflect away from talking about herself to make sure the people around her were okay.

And that is what I think is a major part of Nott’s character and something that makes me resonate her so easily with this song. That Nott is unwilling to address her own problems and emotions because they are too confusing, conflicting and stressful, so she would rather check in with the other members of the Mighty Nein, to help fix their problems and help them to achieve their goals like she has promised to do for Caleb, believing that maybe one day down the line after helping the others she may finally conquer her own problems as well.

Three - Fjord: “Maybe I’ve done enough, finally catching up, for the first time I see an image of my brokenness utterly worthy of love” “I finally see myself, unabridged and overwhelmed, a mess of a story I’m ashamed to tell, but I’m slowly learning how to break this spell” “I only want what’s real, I set aside the highlight reel, and leave my greatest failures on display with an asterisk, worthy of love anyway.”

Fjord is such an interesting character to me, and someone that I really hope can come to accept himself for who he is, and understand that the rest of the Mighty Nein love and respect him, his role in the group cemented. After recent events in these past few episodes, Fjord is on his way to knowing that the M9 truly care about him, willing to risk their lives to come back for him just like they did with the Iron Shepherds. Fjord is starting to realize that he is important to these people, and that they care about him just as much as he cares about them, something he has never experienced before. For the first time in his life, Fjord is experiencing what it is like to have a family, people that want to help you succeed and accept you despite your failures.

Though he struggles with sharing the parts of his past he is ashamed of, Fjord has even stated to Caleb that given time, he will share these things he dislikes about himself, allowing support and forgiveness in. He is on his way to understanding that no matter his shortcomings, what his patron may say or do, the Mighty Nein care about him and would never consider him useless, for he means to much to them, something he may one day come to recognize and use as a source of strength, Go Fjord!

Four - Caleb: “Bodies fashioned out of dirt and dust for a moment we get to be glorious” “Maybe I’m hiding behind metaphor, maybe my heart needs to break to be sure, one day I’ll wear it all on my sleeve, the insignificant with the sacred unique” “What if we already are, who we’ve been dying to become, in certain light I can plainly see, a reflection of magnificence hidden in you, maybe even in me.”

Caleb is such a hard character to determine where his character arc is going to go. All I can speak on is where he appears to be now. I think this song is reflective of Caleb for several reasons. He himself was fashioned out of dirt and dust, chosen to come from a small town to the Soltryce Academy to be a wizard because he had special magic abilities. Though that experience was harrowing and lead him to tragedy, in that time he came to recognize that he was remarkable and considered special at a young age for everything he could do. But after the events of his past that he would give anything to change, he has closed himself off to others, only recently opening up due to necessity and the desire to help Nott.

Perhaps he will someday be completely open with all members of the Mighty Nein, discussing anything and everything about himself and what he wants to further achieve his goals. Even Beau has commented on his ability to ask for help after he started opening up, questioning him on how it could be so easy and he said it just is. He has recognized how easy it can be to rely on others but worries that in doing so he is putting the ones he cares about in danger and straying farther away from what he truly wants. And that has been stated to be one of Caleb’s biggest fears, that as he and the M9 grow as people, doing good for the people around them as much as possible and trying to leave places better than they found them, that he might one day feel like he can’t do what he has been working so hard to achieve because he cares about these people too much. That he might come to see himself in a better light as someone that can move forward and let go of the past, something he currently could never do. We will definitely see what will happen to dear Caleb Widowgast, but I’m excited to find out!

Five - NPCs + Guest Characters: “It feels like an out of body experience, but something gets lost from a safe distance and now I can’t put my mind to rest and I can’t help but second guess” “I’m hypnotized by this anomaly, such strange uncharted territory” “My armor falls apart, as if I could let myself be seen, even deeply known, like I was already brave enough to let go.”

It was really difficult for me to determine who related the most heavily to Five. And after a lot of thought and consideration I realized that even though in total there are and always will be eight members of the Mighty Nein, the ninth member is made up of everyone that has not only helped the M9 throughout their journeys, but also everyone that the Mighty Nein has helped as well. Thus I related Five to the many NPCs Matt has created and the wonderful guest characters like Keg, Nila, Shakaste, Twiggy, Calianna, and even Spurt. Meeting the Mighty Nein and dealing with their crazy antics and ideas can be an almost out of body experience, trying to fit oneself into their exhilarating lifestyle might seem almost impossible. Their vibrant and excitable atmosphere would make anyone question how qualified the M9 are for any job, but their determined attitude and desire to do good for others would draw anyone in to help or seek help from them as well.

The line about letting oneself be seen in this song I think relates heavily to these characters because they are created to be interacted with, to learn something from them, or to be of aid to the M9 in their travels. But when the Mighty Nein take that extra step to learn more about a shopkeeper, to assist someone in need on the street, or to gain the assistance of a fellow traveler to achieve their goals, they are taking the time to learn about a stranger, to understand them on a personal level, treating them as if they already are a part of the M9 in many cases, which is something I love about this rag tag group of adventurers. And something that any NPC would love to, as long as the M9 aren't too nosy.

Six - Caduceus: “What would it feel like to put this baggage down, if I’m being honest I’m not sure I know how” “I want to believe, no I choose to believe, that I was made to become a sanctuary. Fear won’t go away, but I can keep it at bay” “Is that courage or faith to show up everyday, trust that there will be light always waiting behind even the darkest of nights, and no matter what somehow we’ll be okay.”

The fact that we know next to nothing about Caduceus destroys me a bit more each day until we do, but he is such a wonderful character and so important to maintaining hope in the Mighty Nein, but also keeping their sanity. I don’t think it’s that Caduceus is unwilling to share his past with the Mighty Nein, I believe it’s primarily because no one ever really asks him about himself, and he doesn’t have experience in people choosing to ask him how he is instead of the other way around. It had been said that Caduceus would tell people almost anything if they simply asked, but most people are more focused on their own problems than the problems of others. Caduceus is someone who works to keep the peace, to drive people towards their destinies and to prove that hope and purpose can be found even in the darkest of moments.

He is a sanctuary for the members of the Mighty Nein, someone they can turn to who will speak without judgement, providing honest advice and ideas about what might be the next step to furthering one’s path, while continually promising that all things and people have purpose. At first Caduceus was hesitant to continue traveling with the Mighty Nein, as their choices and actions did not align well with Caduceus’ goals to save his home. But over time, and with continued faith in the Wildmother showing him his path, Caduceus is willing to get up everyday and support the people he cares about, pushing himself further and further towards his goals no matter the obstacle.

Seven - Jester: “How wonderful, to see a smile on your face, it costs farewell tears for a welcome-home parade. A secret handshake and my one life, I find a silver lining no matter what the price” “Let me tell you another secret of the trade, it feels like sinking when I’m standing in one place” “I want to be here, truly be here, to watch the ones that I love bloom, and I want to make room to love them through and through and through and through the slow and barren seasons too. I feel hope, deep in my bones, that tomorrow will be beautiful.”

In my eyes, Jester is one of the strongest members of the Mighty Nein. Whether you think of it as strong as in strength, emotionally, or what have you, she always sees the best in people, constantly working to make the people she loves and anyone she can smile and feel better no matter how much she may be hurting inside. And though it hurt her to have to leave her mother in Nicodranas to go see the world, she knows that in doing so she can always return, to receive a hug, to tell stories, and to show love to her mother and be loved in return. However, despite the circumstances that led to Jester having to leave her home and travel, it was inevitably time for her to face the world. She had spent so much of her life stuck up in her bedroom to not have the opportunity to experience anything and everything possible.

That is why I relate the line “it feels like sinking when I’m standing in one place” to Jester because she is always excited to travel to new places with her friends, to have more adventures to tell her mother about and provide her with more opportunities to search for her father in the process. (Still waiting for that interaction if it ever happens by the way). What I admire the most about Jester and what is so strong about her character is her undying love and faith in her companions. She wants nothing more than to help the people she loves and to make them happy. She wants the M9 to be able to let go of the problems of their past or to face them head on so that they can grow and live their lives to the fullest with all the time they have. She believes so strongly in the people around her, in the Traveler, and in what they can do to help others that she knows no matter the strife, no matter what challenges they face, things can always be better tomorrow, as long as they stick together and face the world with a smile and hope.

Eight - Yasha: “Now you won’t see all that I have to lose, and all that I’ve lost in the fight to protect it. I won't let you in, I swore never again, I can't afford no I refuse to be rejected” “I want to break these bones till they are better, I want to break them right and feel alive you were wrong, you were wrong, you were wrong my healing needed more than time” “I’m standing guard, I’m falling apart, and all I want is to trust you. Show me how, to lay my sword down for long enough to let you through.”

Talking about Yasha hurts my heart, but when I heard this song I thought of her automatically. Time and time again in the process of trying to protect the ones she loves, all she has done is lose them. After the second time she has not been the same, weary of letting people get close for fear of hurting them because of who she is and all she doesn’t know about herself. For her, it takes more than time to heal wounds, it takes understanding and forgiveness she does not believe she deserves but she truly needs. Despite the awkward, slightly off-putting demeanor she may present to others, Yasha cares about the Mighty Nein more than she would like, and wants nothing more than to protect them from any and all danger, and from herself.

She wants to let people in, which is why she shared as much as she did about her past and her wife. We have seen how emotional it makes her to hear that the M9 love her and want her to be safe. But Yasha needs answers, about who she is, who she was, why the Stormlord chose her, and what her future path might look like. Though she loves the Mighty Nein and wants to be with them and help on their journeys, the fear of losing them may lead to dire situations and the possibility that in finding the answers she seeks she may be separating herself further and further from the ones she cares about the most. (Yasha I love you all I can say is oof).

Nine (nein) - Molly: “Who am I to say what any of this means, I have been sleepwalking since I was fourteen. Now as I write my song, I retrace my steps, honestly its easier to let myself forget” “It looks like empathy to understand all sides, but I'm just trying to find myself through someone else’s eyes. So show me what to do, to restart this heart of mine, how do I forgive myself for losing so much time?” “A little at a time, I feel more alive, I let the scale tip and feel all of it, it’s uncomfortable but right, and we were born to try to see each other through, to know and love ourselves and others well is the most difficult and meaningful work we’ll ever do.”

I mean really, there was no other way to close this out. (Spoilers ahead, kids, because you never know how far someone has seen). Considered the most short-lived, and one of the most impactful members of the Mighty Nein, Mollymauk was someone I always wanted to know more about, but never got the chance. When Molly dug himself out of the ground he did not want to know whose name was attached to his body before, because sometimes it’s easier to forget to make it your own. This is evidently clear by the many tattoos that covered his body, and the fact that he openly stated that this body was his and his alone. No one else is in control of it, he makes the decisions, and no one else can have a say in who he is and who he will be. Though he may have been stern and cold towards others at times, he always looked at all sides of a problem or conflict, and used all information available to make an opinion on what was right and just, one of his many famous lines being “we only steal from grumpy people”. Molly was always confident in who he was, but there were things he was missing because he didn't have a past to look back on. I just wish he could have had the time to find out.

The final lines of the song are what I relate so strongly to Molly, that “to know and love ourselves and others well is the most difficult and meaningful work we’ll ever do” feels almost like his motto and the strongest impact his life and death had on the Mighty Nein. After his passing it became Beau’s personal mission, and a mission she pushed onto the Mighty Nein, to leave every place they visit better than they found it, something Molly instilled on her that had a lasting impact. So far, the Mighty Nein have been somewhat successful in fulfilling this goal, but it continues to be a driving force in everything they do, working to help others and make the world a better place for all those who inhabit it and those they have lost in the journey to make it a reality. Thank you for having been such a driving force in bringing the Mighty Nein together Molly, you were right, they really were a group of people in need of a good time and you gave it to them. Rest well.

So that’s everything! I’m sorry this was such a long post but I’ve been thinking about it for so long and I love Critical Role and its characters so much that I felt it was time to share my thoughts on why I relate the Mighty Nein so much to these songs. As I’ve said, if you haven’t I highly suggest checking out Sleeping at Last, they are fantastic and their songs are just as impactful and meaningful as the Mighty Nein themselves!

Thank you for taking the time to read this, and here’s to another wonderful Thursday. Remember, don't forget to love each other!

#Critical Role #the mighty nein #cr spoilers #sleeping at last #enneagram

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eponymous-rose · 4 years

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Talks Machina Highlights - Critical Role C2E92 (Jan. 28, 2020)

This week’s guests are Laura Bailey and Marisha Ray!

Announcements: At 4 PM Pacific on February 4, season 2 of All Work No Play premieres! Pre-sale tickets for autographs and photo ops for C2E2 are available now via Epic Photo Ops! Lots of “super-secret but majorly exciting announcements” to come this week on the website!

Episode 92: Home Is Where the Heart Is

Stats for this episode: it has been 69 episodes, 6 levels, and 212 Exandrian days since the Nein last saw the reformed bandits. The Nein haven’t killed anyone since episode 86, a campaign 2 record (Laura: “I know, I’m aching!”). Jester cast her 50th Guidance spell this episode (on herself), and it’s been 50 Exandrian days since the Nein last partook of a bottle of Lionett wine together in Trostenwald.

On initial expectations vs. reality for their characters’ fathers: Laura: “I had no notion of what he was going to be. I literally wrote that he wooed my mom, that he wore lots of rings on his fingers, and that he went off to get his place ready to come meet him, and that was all.” She notes that she knew Jester was half-water genasi, but she wasn’t there the first time they met the Gentleman to ask any leading questions. Marisha: “I had this struggling panic for a while. I didn’t know how he was going to play him. There was a strong possibility in my head that my parents were great, and were just like, ‘We were trying so hard, we’re so sorry.’ It was pretty crazy the way he actually played it. And it did feel like, he sucks, yeah, okay, no.”

On Fjord’s heart-to-heart with Beau: “I felt like Beau and Fjord had good pirate-ship bonding time. It’s been a bit since Beau and Fjord checked in, so that was a cool Fjord-Beau moment that was nice to have, like, we’re still bros, it’s great.”

Jester just wanted to make Beau feel better, especially as she realized that she’d been a little oblivious in cheering about how great her dad was: “It was so crazy, the minute we got there and you reverted back to the initial Beau, the first Beau that we met, and then even further past that. It just killed Jester to see that.” Marisha notes that the moment when Jester pulled Beau aside, she was about to lose it: “I tried to work Beau in a direction of growth, and getting to a point where she’s not angry and snappy and just fucking lashing out at people. So Beau’s going to try to keep her cool, and then I was literally sucking in the air, and you were like, ‘Come here,’ and that was just enough to get the reset button and the calm. She’s not in a place to forgive her parents, but Jester talking about the poison of holding on to all of that was kind of what, I was like, okay. I can use this in that moment to not have to make it about forgiving my parents right now, or ever, but to be able to start to heal and separate from that and that past. And for Beau to forgive herself.” Laura, after the game, was worried that it came across as Jester trying to get Beau to forgive her dad, and Beau notes that not seeing even a fraction of the effort the Gentleman has put forward kind of wiped that possibility out.

Beau’s grown a lot since she was last home. “The Mighty Nein has helped Beau trust in other people around her and come out of her shell and learn how to control her outbursts and her blaming other people and her anger. That’s so far from the Beau that was in that house.” Marisha was actually startled at herself when Beau snapped at Nott over the horse. “It was immediately all those bad thoughts were coming back, so it felt like Beau was on the verge of reverting.” Laura: “Nothing makes you fucking regress to your childhood mannerisms and behaviors faster than going home.”

Jester believes that “love is stronger than anything else”. She knows her parents still love each other, so “any of those other crazy things, they can work through.”

On whether Beau’s dad is really worried about her: “I think he cares to the extent that anyone cares about anyone’s general safety. I think he’s concerned about himself first, and what he has, and then I think he’s concerned about Beau next, after that. But I don’t know, maybe I’m being incredibly harsh. But there is, to this point, that element of what’s the twist.” Laura notes that she got a really high insight check on Beau’s dad. “There’s a reason that I was like, maybe give him open ears” at that moment.

Cosplay of the Week: a very detailed Molly! (GalacticLeah, photo by Fricbergsean)

On potentially leaving the Lionetts destitute if they destroy the hag, Laura and Marisha say, in unison: “Fuck the Lionetts.” They note that they’ve got the resources to make sure T.J. will be fine, and that’s all that really matters.

Has Jester forgiven her father? “I don’t think Jester’s angry at him. She’s very empathetic. She’s very good at going, okay, I see it from your side. And I think she was afraid more that something bad had happened to him. Obviously, if he could have returned, he would have, because he loved her mother so much. So I don’t think she’s angry at him. I don’t think, necessarily, she doesn’t think he’s perfect, but she’s making the best of the situation. I think she’s just happy that he’s around. Make up for lost time.”

Brian asks about how different it is to be supportive of each other and exploring backstories in this campaign versus with the last campaign’s more archetypal characters. Marisha: “It feels like the campaign has been very muddy and not black-and-white. The same for every person’s individual backstory issues.” She notes that there’s a lot more ambiguity. Laura: “Vex wasn’t empathetic. She was sympathetic sometimes, but sometimes when Keyleth was going through something, Vex was like, come on, get your shit together.” Brian notes just how different everyone’s characters are this time around. “It’s awesome!”

Laura notes that TJ ran up to Beau and called her sister, which means that they’ve been talking about her consistently for him to recognize her. “So there is a level there.” Marisha notes that Beau has very mixed feelings about her mom, too. “She’d never offer support, or want to challenge Thoreau.” So now she’s wondering if her mom has been quietly talking her up to TJ, or if it’s both of them.

Fan Art of the week: Beau and TJ! (by ItsMalenyLopez)

Jester’s perspective on the Gentleman’s partners: “You can sleep with people, but don’t form a fucking relationship with them. That’s the difference.”

Marisha, on working with difficult topics on the show: “The audience goes away in the moment. Yes, it’s hard, yes, it’s cathartic, and yes, it’s something on a whole other level. It’s why roleplaying games are so fucking awesome, because they allow you to do that.” Marisha notes that she has a great relationship with her own parents, but getting to explore is interesting. “It’s hard to describe.” Laura: “There’s a safety there, to be able to dive into these places.” Marisha: “With all of these issues, these issues are skinned, but the root of them are often very relatable issues that everyone goes through. So there is a certain amount of catharsis to that. So while I personally had a good relationship with my parents, I’m accustomed to feeling shut out, feeling misunderstood, going through psychological abuse, all of those things. And, of course, everyone knows someone who has probably experienced those things first-hand, so you can get a sense of understanding in some ways, but there’s layers of everything that you’re doing that can totally think back to things that were from your life.” Laura: “I think that RPGs are so great for just humanity in general, because it really makes you see things from another person’s perspective.” Marisha: “It takes time. I don’t recommend anybody try to do something like this out of the gate with your first game.” Laura: “No, I mean, we’ve been playing this game together as a family now for eight years. And we’re just now getting to stuff like this. All that time of building trust and being able to know, okay, if I go to these levels, I’m going to have the support of the people around me.” Marisha: “The whole thing is a trust fall.”

Jester’s opinion on the M9′s worry about the Traveler’s cultishness? “Well-meaning but paranoid.” Before leaving the Lavish Chateau, she barely told anyone about the Traveler, and they all just accepted him as her imaginary friend. “She knows he’s godly. She knows how powerful he is. There is a little bit of ‘Oh, that’s weird,’ seeing how other gods deal with their... constituents?” Laura notes that she has absolutely no idea what Traveler-Con is going to be like.

Beau has always been aware that her tattoo has the jade/tarot connections with her father as well. “That’s why Beau was so salty with Molly when he was trying to tell fortunes from the beginning. It’s all layered. Didn’t intend for it, but jade just happened to be the one that boosts wisdom.”

Marisha and Laura both note that defeating more traditional enemies can be easily resolved in a way that can be used to block out the things that are really bothering you. Family issues, on the other hand, usually don’t have a simple resolution.

#talks machina #talks machina spoilers #critical role #critical role spoilers #long text post

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eponymous-rose · 4 years

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Talks Machina Highlights - Critical Role C2E95 (February 18, 2020)

Tonight’s guests are Matt Mercer and... Matt Mercer!

Announcements: Cinderbrush: A Monsterhearts Story, the Valentine’s Day one-shot, is available on the YT channel! A new episode of All Work No Play aired today with a ghost-hunting episode featuring Laura Bailey---Twitch VOD available now, up on YT on Thursday! There are still some tickets available for autographs and pictures at C2E2!

Episode 95: Blessing in Disguise

Stats for this week’s episode: Guidance has been cast 100 times, and Polymorph has now been cast 50 times. Matt is 63 NPCs away from 1,000 in campaign 2.

Matt wasn’t sure what to expect of the group’s offerings for the hag. “I didn’t expect the scale of some of the things that were being offered. I was kind of surprised by Nott’s immediate considering of furthering the war.” He notes that it makes sense with her character. “Knowing where Beau’s arc has gone, it was really interesting to have her be willing to give up the things that were important to her.” Given how much would have had to be sacrificed, Matt honestly thought it was going to end in blows.

Matt’s thought process on Jester’s whole exchange with the hag: Matt notes that even if Jester had tried to regrow her hands, it wouldn’t have worked due to the curse, so he was mentally working through the possible ways she could resolve this, and he was thinking about how to make sure she’ll still be able to have fun with the game. He couldn’t read whether she was genuine about the self-sacrifice or was gearing up for a fight. In Matt’s mind, taking the cupcake was the last thing the hag needed to win Jester over and lock the deal in, so it made sense that she’d be easily persuaded. He was definitely suspicious but wasn’t sure if she was just going to call in her friends or attack or what. The specific way Jester worded the Modify Memory wasn’t too dramatically opposed to the hag’s nature, so she was just confused. “Ended up just being really proud. You didn’t only trick the NPC, you tricked me, which I relish.”

Matt was considering Artagan as feeling a little overwhelmed. “Jester definitely represents his most important confidant.” He was planning for him to reveal it either at or just before Travelercon, but that show of cleverness with the hag was something that Artagan would take as “okay, maybe she can help me beyond what I’ve already asked of her.” Matt loves getting to play a character with such an inherently chaotic nature who’s looking at the world as his personal playground.

Matt enjoyed all the correct guesses about Artagan. “It makes me excited that people are following along so closely and are picking up the threads that I’m dropping. It means that I’m not doing a terrible job about laying down the tracks. Sometimes the surprise isn’t the joy of telling a good story, sometimes it’s about rewarding people for following along and figuring it out.” He also notes that you can still add additional twists along the way.

Matt enjoyed getting to play Artagan off a different set of characters’ perspectives. He also liked that it hit home to the players that the decisions they make in one campaign can impact what happens later.

Cosplay of the Week: Vex in the snow! (Casualty_Cosplay on Instagram, photo by Emma_Metcalf10 on Instagram)

Matt’s push against using C1 connections in the group’s C2 characters was more about avoiding direct connections to C1 that would make it feel like C2 was just a continuation instead of its own story. Artagan felt distant enough and only situationally involved with the first campaign---Vox Machina were his origin story, but he didn’t bring Vox Machina into C2′s narrative. The timing of the Artagan reveal was dependent on Jester’s interactions with him: how many questions she asked, how often he was or wasn’t absent. Matt planned Travelercon to be probably the latest possible moment for the reveal.

Matt consciously keeps the world and the NPCs’ plots going regardless of what the players are doing. He can’t plan too much because he doesn’t want to push the players too much, but he tries to think of a few “possible loose assumptions” and plan around those to avoid being completely blindsided (or at least attempt to avoid it).

Who stands out as Matt’s most-loved/identify-with-the-most NPCs so far in this campaign? “I mean, Allura, but that’s both campaigns, that’s not fair. I would say, early in, probably Watchmaster Bryce.” Also Yeza, who’s becoming more like Matt as he gets more development. “Elements of Essek. Essek’s a delightfully complicated character.” He got much more involved in the story than Matt was expecting.

Matt’s poker face dropped during the discussion of Thoreau’s exchange with the hag being living in dread: he was so pleased that he’d set that up well enough for the players to figure it out.

“As an entity that comes from the Feywild and has existed in a space that is a similar sphere as Melora, the Wildmother, but does not necessarily subscribe to the idea that this one entity should represent all elements of nature, and, in a sense, his existence is a mockery of religious faith, he could sense that in [Fjord and Cad] and felt uncomfortably close to his zone of faith and influence. It was less that he was bothered by them, but more that they stood out because they represented things in similar spheres that he didn’t necessarily agree with.”

On dealing with the morality of a purely chaotic character. “I’ve known people like that.” While he doesn’t personally feel a kinship with that notion of chaos, he can see the appeal. “I definitely don’t agree with it, but it’s a fascinating place to mentally live within a character. And then taking a character who’s always lived that way and giving them responsibility.”

Fan Art of the Week: Jester and Artagan! (by ChryseusWitch on Twitter)

Artagan’s willingness to show his face was partly because he didn’t give a shit about the rest of the Nein aside from how they’re important to Jester, but also because of Jester’s supportive stance. “Right now, he’s more invested in them as utility, and he pretty much said that."

On repeatedly messing with Taliesin’s characters’ families: “Look. I work with what I’m given. When your party of characters hands you largely tragic backstories revolving around their parents, I’m not going to deny that. I just have to find a creative way to bring it into the narrative that hasn’t been explored in the story thus far.” He had to come up with a narrative reason for why they never returned but was more complicated than just “they died”. He hadn’t even thought of the Stone family connection until he’d planned the rest of it out.

Matt hadn’t made the connection between CR’s dramatic rise and Artagan’s panic over sudden additional responsibilities. “Maybe subconsciously? It’s all so weird. I can see definitely the threads between them, that seems similar.” He and the rest of the crew are willing to try to take on the weight of that responsibility, whereas Artagan is in a panic and trying to escape it.

#critical role #critical role spoilers #talks machina #talks machina spoilers #long text post

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loquaciousquark · 4 years

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Talks Machina Highlights - Critical Role C2E91 (Jan. 21, 2020)

Good evening, everyone! Sorry about missing last week; @eponymous-rose was out of town and I had some other commitments. Regardless, here we are! Brian is looking handsome and cold, as are Sam & Travis on the couch. Everyone is wearing coats. Is the heat broken?

That said, tonight’s guests are Travis Willingham & Sam Riegel.

Brian starts us off asking Sam if he’s remaking the Wire in Beverly Hills. Sam basically embodies that hello fellow kids meme tonight in a hand-knitted beanie from his wife, a bomber jacket, a yellow tee, and skinny jeans. They quickly photoshop in smoke trailing out of his mouth. We’re just a few minutes in and this is off the rails already.

Announcements: The next issue (#5) of Vox Machina comics comes out Wednesday, Feb. 19! It’s also available online at Dark Horse Digital and Comixology. And that’s it! Huh.

Episode 91: Stone to Clay

Brian tells us this is the first time ever to have Sam & Travis alone on Talks. I’m stunned and so are they. Sam says, “between me, Brian, Dani, and Travis right now, there’s four tens on this show right now.”

We’re already into questions less than ten minutes into the show. Truly this is a remarkable night.

63 in game days and 21 episodes passed between Caduceus’s first mention of Stone (episode 71) and Fjord connecting the dots. Travis blames the internet connection and his really bad ADHD night, as that was the night he and Laura remoted in from the hotel.

Brian tells us that when Ashley used to skype in, she could only see Matt & couldn’t see or really hear anyone else.

Travis says there was a huge delay for him between mouths moving and the audio coming through, and then that audio was pretty distorted. Laura could handle it okay, but Travis just heard a jumble and couldn’t parse it.

Sam took a CBD bath the other day and found it exactly as relaxing as a normal bath. Sam & Travis commiserate about taking baths only to have their knees pop out of the water. Tall people problems smh

Caleb & Nott completed the spell in less than a week, including dealing with the Angel of Irons & brokering peace treaties. Travis though the laughter was going to be Helas.

Travis says he definitely didn’t hear the name the first time (he remembered dust but not stone from the lava pits). “Look! Yes! No, I was not listening before! Thursday nights are my times to enjoy my friends and food! Marisha is an amazing note-taker; why would I ever take my own? This is how I got through college!”

Sam says he keeps a mission checklist in his head and has for ages. He has a page in his notebook labeled “To Do” that includes things like visiting Kiri or Shakaste, in case they have downtime and need ideas.

Travis asks if he continues writing in his (apparently) very small handwriting, and Sam says he has to leave room for Laura to draw all her dicks. They all marvel that she is actually a very good artist.

Travis honestly still thinks the Stone name is a huge coincidence, especially since Taliesin didn’t have access to Fjord’s last name when he created Caduceus’s last name and backstory. Sam challenges Travis that even if that were true, doesn’t he think Matt will find a way to tie it together?

Travis says Fjord doesn’t want anything to do with the last name and it’s not even his real name. He’s not convinced this isn’t a coincidence.

Travis did a lot of research into orphanage naming conventions when coming up with Stone. He does have a backstory as to how the orphanage manager picked Stone as his name.

Travis thinks Matt would have emphasized the Stone name more sooner if it had been a true connection and not coincidence.

Brian: “He does like to take credit for coincidences, doesn’t he?”

Nott didn’t think there was a catch in the ritual; Sam was more surprised they were allowed to achieve the milestone at all. He was shocked it happened so soon in the story and that the spell is relatively easy to cast.

He didn’t know it would fail, but there was a moment when he wasn’t sure if he wanted to go through with it. Travis agrees everyone was shocked when it didn’t work.

Fjord’s current stance on faith and destiny hasn’t changed since the last time he discussed it. Faith is a slow thing for Fjord and he really does think the name is a coincidence.

Sam as a player is excited to see what comes next for Nott; “if she had been transformed into Veth at that moment, I would have been excited to see what comes next. The fact that it’s still Nott makes me excited too. I’m excited to see more of Nott since she’s the best character in the M9.” He also confesses he was a bit relieved, in part because it’s delayed the inevitable. At some point she must decide if she is going to stay or go with the M9.

Cosplay of the Week: @kajicosplays on instagram of a lovely lady Percy. Brian: “Isn’t it fun when Taliesin’s characters live?”

Deep down, Nott knows she will do the transformation at some point, but at that last moment where she had to make a decision she had to check in with herself to make sure she was ready. Sam Riegel as a D&D player also knows that you have to trust your DM and make choices.

Brian misreads the word “ribbing.” Sam teaches Travis what rimming is. We all learn a lot about each other.

Sam thinks Fjord can realize when the time comes to set jokes aside. He thinks Fjord was very respectful. Travis has honestly forgotten that the conversation took place.

Travis has Dani answer from Fjord’s perspective. It’s actually pretty insightful, talking about how Fjord recognized someone hesitant to give up these newfound powers that have become intrinsically tied to self-worth.

Fjord has always been loyal, and Travis sees his protectiveness of the M9 as a logical extension of this.

Right now, he has found some agency & self-direction and is hopeful to share that sense with everyone else (he especially mentions Yasha).

Sam & Travis start quoting from Half-Baked. This is chaos.

Nott does want to stay with the M9, but she also wants to go home for sure, both of those things. The kiss with Caleb wasn’t necessarily a goodbye; it felt like the closing of a chapter. It felt like something to mark the end of the experience.

Now they’re quoting Beverly Hills Cop. Oh, boy.

“You look like you wrote Pitch Perfect.” When did this turn into a roast?

Fjord has no memories earlier than the orphanage (The Driftwood Asylum). There were a couple dozen kids there aside from him; Travis thinks some of them might have been named Stone. It also operated as a small child-labor workshop for carpentry & woodshop stuff. “It was a terrible place all around.” He has no images of parents or being dropped off.

Sam thought the Nott transformation would be more endgame, though he feels it makes sense that it’s not. “While Nott transforming into Veth was my original goal, what’s great about these long games is that your goals can change two or three times before the end. Now I can explore all these other things: does she want to go back and be a housewife? How does she rectify her obligations to her husband and child to the life that she’s made with the M9? It’s so exciting and interesting.”

Brian asks a hypothetical: if she could transform back but lose all Nott’s memories, would she do it? Sam: “Oh, that’s tough. I don’t know.”

Fanart of the Week: a lovely piece by @pen_draws with everyone in the hot tub.

Travis is very trepidatious about returning to the open ocean after rejecting Uk’otoa. He wants to make sure the third temple is sealed. It feels like it would be too easy for someone not to come and try to collect the job he left half-finished. He also wants to go back to Darktow.

Sam doesn’t know if Nott is still in love with Yeza, although she definitely still loves him. He’s playing with the idea of a high school sweetheart being exposed to the world and then going back home. But Yeza’s amazing, a great guy, perfect. “I guess we’ll find out when/if she turns back into Veth.” Sam feels guilty talking about him. “He’s a fictional character and I feel guilty that he might be watching the show.”

Neither Nott nor Fjord trust Essek. Travis: “He just went from being cold and aloof to being really warm. I know there’s been time and he’s lived an isolated life, but...time will show if he’s being genuine. All of our haunches were up. All of us were on level five alert.” He’s being so helpful that Travis doesn’t trust Mercer with him.

Fjord never ever considered becoming a paladin of the Traveler. “No. Fuck no!” The Wildmother reached out and directly intervened to save him. Travis gets super creepy bad vibes from the Traveler’s relationship with Jester (Sam agrees).

Nott feels more pressure when her own problems become the focus. It’s hard for her to open up and talk about her feelings. She’d rather pick up on other people’s problems. Sam also acknowledges it’s more pressure on him (and anyone) as a player when the whole table is looking at you.

And that’s that! Is it Thursday yet?

#critical role #critical role spoilers #talks machina #talks machina spoilers #long post for ts

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eponymous-rose · 4 years

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Talks Machina Highlights - Critical Role C2E93 (February 4, 2020)

This week’s guests are Ashley Johnson and Taliesin Jaffe!

Announcement: Thursday, February 27′s episode in Chicago will be an in-canon live episode! VIP tickets go on sale tomorrow at 10 AM Central, and regular tickets will be on sale February 6 at 10 AM Central as well. The World of Critical Role, the new nonfiction book, is available for preorder now! All Work No Play season 2 is upon us: VOD for episode one is available now, up on YouTube on Thursday!

Episode 93: Misery Loves Company (which is SUCH a good title)

Stats for this week’s episode: this is the first episode where Caduceus and Jester have both cast Spirit Guardians in the same battle. Yasha has collected six floral pieces and a scrap of the Laughing Hand’s cloak since we met her. Jester purchased the Dust of Deliciousness from Pumat 62 episodes ago, or 186 Exandrian days. (That’s 22 days longer than Jester has had Sprinkle.)

Reactions to the cupcake moment? Neither of them had any idea Jester had something up her sleeve; they both bought it right up to the end. Taliesin thought the hand offer was just another self-sacrificial one-up, and Ashley knew it was too extreme but was still worried because of Jester’s impulsiveness. Ashley mentions how cool it was that Jester used Modify Memory in such a positive way.

Taliesin was trying to think of something that would be “appropriately sad enough” to offer to appease Matt. “Clay was thinking of offering to never go home again. So still save everything, but just be like, I agree that once it’s up it’s fine.”

Ashley on making a deal to bring Zuala back to life: “I love how everyone assumes I was thinking of Zuala.” Not making the deal was a moment of growth for Yasha, “but I think bringing back--- she’s lost a lot of people, and so I think it’s constantly on her mind, of maybe life wouldn’t be so hard or so bad if I could have some of these people I love back. Where we see some of the growth in Yasha was that she was able to put some of that aside, knowing they were there for Nott.”

Taliesin is asked whether Percy’s yelling in the back of his head during scenes like this: “There was no good way out of this problem, so I didn’t have [Percy] screaming at me that there was an obvious or easy solution.”

Ashley on Yasha’s offer getting rejected because Yasha was already too miserable: “I think, weirdly, there was some comfort in that, of knowing that maybe it couldn’t get any worse. I think it was almost good for her to hear that: you’re the bottom of the barrel right now. I do think she’s slowly finding happiness with her friends and slowly getting comfortable with those relationships again.” She highlights Caleb as “a companion in misery”. She’s growing and becoming more comfortable. “It’s a really good group of people, and they all do genuinely love each other, and I think this past game kind of showed that to her.”

On Nott’s deal, Taliesin: “Ahh, we wouldn’t have let that happen.” Ashley: “I have some thoughts on that.” Taliesin: “Yeah, that’s some RP stuff that may come up later. I do understand and respect how Sam plays Nott, as hyper-volatile, as part of the goblinization of Nott is to make her inappropriately emotionally volatile towards things.”

There’s a brief foray into the legality of ferrets as pets in the state of California, as you do. Kindergarten Cop and Bunnicula are cited.

Ashley: “I don’t know how invested Yasha is necessarily in this war. Because of how she grew up and was raised, there’s other things to her that are more important.” Taliesin: “Clay thinks Nott needs therapy.”

Cosplay of the Week: an amazing Grog! (DressedUpMegs on Instagram, photo by LMShoots)

On Clay’s reaction to the hag: “He’s not a fan” of someone dealing in the changing of fate. He would have been okay with having to kill her if it came down to it. “It’s not necromancy, but it’s next-door to it.” But he was trying to take his cues from everyone else. “She was fuckin’ scary. Too many elbows.”

Matt told Brian after the session that he would have cliffhangered the fight if it had come to that, since it was likely to be a substantial endeavor. (Matt posted a picture of the map on Twitter!)

It was tough for Yasha to resist the urge to just jump in and attack the hag while they were one-on-one. “I’m not at the point yet to make an executive decision for the whole party, but whew, me, I was ready to kill her the second I walked in. I think Yasha was ready to go, but I think also it showed growth as well that she didn’t do it and walked out the door.”

Caduceus interpreted the “less intensity” statement Matt made when he asked about his family at the menagerie was that not everyone’s there yet. Caduceus was also embarrassed that he had to ask; he saw it as a sign of cowardice and a moment of weakness.

Yasha’s thoughts on Beau’s offer: “Yasha wasn’t about to let that happen after she finally just got back with the group. I was like, yeah, you’re not about to leave once I just got back to you. I didn’t necessarily see it as one-upping each other, but I think all of us were saying, no, I’m not going to let you do that, I’ll do something.”

Marisha tries to sneak out stealthily and Henry barks at her, forcing a cameo!

Marisha: “It makes super sense in Beau’s headspace where she is, and Beau likes controlling situations. Beau’s in a bit of a fucked-up headspace. Parents, man.”

On Jester leaning into the more serious side of the Trickery domain versus the small pranks, Taliesin: “I feel like it’s all a grand scheme, personally.” Ashley: “We don’t fully know what happened in there yet. It’s so hard not to be impressed by it.” Taliesin: “So hard not to be impressed.” They’re both pretty sure there will be consequences that Matt will spring on them in forty or so episodes...

Fan Art of the Week: Jester and the hag! (CaitMayArt on Twitter)

What was it like seeing the Traveler in physical form? Ashley: “Mixed feelings about that, for sure. I think Yasha’s very-- the relationship that Jester has with the Traveler is very intriguing to Yasha because there’s an intimacy and a closeness there that she finds very strange. But also thinks the Traveler is-- something’s up.” Taliesin: “It’s a little weird, man. Little weird.”

Why did Yasha ask Caleb about who he loves? “I think she asked him because she cares about him a lot, and I think they’ve obviously both had this weird connection of recognizing they’ve both been through things that are tough. Tough is obviously putting it lightly. What I’ve noticed in playing the game, and in the RP that seems to pop up, is that-- I don’t mean this to sound, I don’t know. She definitely cares a lot for these people, and about their well-being. And I think there’s something in her that knows how suffering feels, and seeing someone else dealing with it is too hard for her. With Caleb, she really cares about him, and sees he cares about someone, at least how I’ve taken it-- whether or not we mean the same person is interesting, because Liam and I haven’t even talked about this. But I think it’s one of those things where she knows what she’d been through with Zuala. I’m trying to figure out how to dance around this. She said it because she cares about him and wants him to be happy. It came out of care and wanting something good for him.”

Does Cad feel like his plans are getting overridden by the group? “I think ‘plans’ is a bold word. No, he’s not bothered by that. He’s got no particular problem with action or inaction. Percy would dwell on something like that. Clay doesn’t really-- he’s perfectly content to be like, oh, someone else had an idea, okay. He’s perfectly fine if other people have a thing to do, then, yeah, he has no ego about it.”

#critical role #critical role spoilers #long text post #talks machina #talks machina spoilers

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loquaciousquark · 5 years

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Talks Machina Highlights - Critical Role C2E42 (November 20, 2018)

Dani was actually goofing around quite a bit here, but this still makes me think of some glorious 90s band, so I’m keeping it.

Anyway! The inimitable @eponymous-rose has done more than her share of recaps lately, so here I am picking up where I’ve been slacking off. Tonight’s guests are Marisha Ray and Laura Bailey (with special guest appearance from Ronin! Awwww), so I can hardly wait. We’re discussing Episode 42: A Hole in the Plan.

Tonight’s announcements: Brian is bursting with an announcement he’s not allowed to reveal for another six months. His favorite guess: something about him stealing all the money from the company and moving to an island, but that’s actually his long game, not the short one.

Throughout November, they’re raising money for Operation Supply Drop, Travis’s favorite charity, which supports both active and retired military.

No episode of Critical Role this week due to Thanksgiving. There will also be no episode of Talks Machina next Tuesday; instead, they’ll be airing Sam’s Fireside Chat! This was a reward from the Critter donations to the Pablove Foundation.

Critical Role hoodies are back in the store; the print is very similar to the original with a bit more embellishment on the text on the back.

“Honey Heist 3: Tova’s Honies” airs this Friday at 7pm Pacific! Marisha: “It was bear-nanas.” Laura: “Oh, no.”

CR Stats: Jester has cast Blessing of the Trickster 31 times; 15 of those times were on Nott. Jester technically won her bar brawl with Sorris! She dealt 16 points of damage to his 15. Beau continues to have the most natural 20s with 49. She also has the most natural 1s, womp womp. Marisha: “Well, I roll a lot, you know?” Brian: “Well, your husband is also a tyrant and not to be messed with.” Marisha says she thinks Gil’s die is cursed and everyone gasps. How dare.

Does Brian feel the pressure of following Dani, who was such an excellent host last week? No; when he went through the potential list of fill-ins, the only one that made sense was Dani.

Marisha sees Darktow as a super-abusive socialist society, which does not sit well with Beau. It’s a silk trap.

Jester’s conversation with Caleb was triggered by Fjord’s kiss, especially with her wondering if it really meant anything to either of them. Laura thinks of her high school crushes and how hard you crushed & how devastated you were at every perceived slight; Jester only has the view of romance through her mother, which means physical affection is very different from emotional affection in her mind. On Brian’s asking, Laura’s high school crush was Han Solo. When Laura’s sister was 12, she paid her $15 to paint Han and Leia in a dip kiss, which she still has framed in her current house. I’m dying, this is adorable.

Beau doesn’t exactly trust that Fjord is going to do the right thing, but him sleeping with Avantika doesn’t trigger her red flags in terms of “looking out for each other, keeping each other in check.” She’s looking more for them bullying someone when they don’t need to, being violent when it’s not necessary. “Pursuing power to endless depths and fucking hot pirates, that’s fine with Beau. She just doesn’t want to kill children.” Brian marvels at how this fits into Jester & Caleb’s conversation about killing people from the most recent episode.

Jester can tell Caleb is tortured, and more than anything she wants people not to be sad around her. She just wants desperately for him to be happy.

Marisha has thought a ton about what Beau would have said if Jester had come to her first about the kiss, especially since it was Jester’s first kiss (Marisha assumes, and Jester answers in an adorably non-committal not-not-a-negative). Beau would have been game for it. She doesn’t know if Beau would have given good advice, but she would have tried her best.

Brian spills that Mary’s character’s CHA in their home game is 6. They discuss Nott’s score of 5 and enjoy themselves mightily at both of their expenses.

GIF of the Week! By @ropadoper, it’s Liam casting Reduce and then the Wall of Fire at the end of the episode, both of which involve Marisha falling out of her chair to the floor in reaction so that only her forehead is visible. Everyone is being so cute this episode I can hardly stand it.

As a reminder, an international shipping facility has been created in the UK. Laura asides to tell Travis the keys are in the diaper bag. Literally everyone is in the studio tonight except Sam, EVEN ASHLEY.

Jester thinks the Traveler always gives very good advice, but his suggestion to trick Fjord was the first time ever she felt a little hesitation to follow his advice. Brian: “Is that because he’s never been wrong or because she’s never been allowed to disagree?” Laura says it’s always been amazing advice so far, much more a best-friend relationship, but this was the first time she didn’t want to take his suggestion wholesale because she wasn’t sure it’s how she wanted to get Fjord to like her. Marisha really likes the dynamic of finding out your childhood best friend is a god.

Beau finds herself still being careful with her walls--Marisha imagines Beau was put in a lot of, like, pageant dresses as a kid--so when Jester commented on her hair and then laughed, she felt a little of that “wait, what, do you actually care? Do I look like shit?” Laura says she laughed, not Jester, because it was the most random thing to compliment Beau on.

Beau’s haircut came into being because it was cool & because Marisha wishes she were brave enough to try an undercut.

Brian’s convinced Fjord’s got gills. Dani: “What do you think Fjord is?” Brian: “Obviously a water man. Water genasi. What are water genasi?”

Beau wasn’t surprised Allison rejected her; she’s used to it. Ack. She was looking for an ally against Avantika, Big Brother style. “Instead she just shat in an alleyway with Nott.”

Laura’s not perturbed the Traveler hasn’t mentioned Fjord’s god; he doesn’t really talk about/care about other gods or patrons. Brian suggests he’s actually the Dongfather in disguise. This show’s collective mental age is smaller than Pike, haha.

Beau felt like such an interloper when Sam asked her to help with Fluffernutter, like the best friend trying to be in on a joke without really knowing what’s going on. Marisha also takes a moment to praise Laura for her Jester over the last few episodes; she’s digging into the metaphorical popcorn every time Jester & Nott start going off. (Me too, bud.) Jester’s description of the insect carrying a piece of bread is one of her favorite D&D moments ever. Both Marisha & Laura are agog at how many little plans they’ve tried have gone disastrous and then circled back around to being mostly okay again.

Beau was a little hurt when she wasn’t asked to help break into the captain’s quarters, since that’s her specialty, but it was eased by being able to help with her knowledge anyway. However, she knew since she didn’t have any magic, she had no escape plan aside from jumping off the boat. She laughs that that’s what they ended up doing anyway.

Jester views sex as a transaction, which is why she’s not particularly bothered by Fjord sleeping with Avantika.

Fanart of the Week: @jdillustrates, with a lovely portrait of Caduceus.

Jester’s warring between the logical part of her brain (he was saving her life) and the romantic part of her brain (did he want to kiss me, though?).

There are reasons Beau learned Deep Speech--not as complicated as most people think--that will be revealed eventually. “Nerdy reasons, not because she was kidnapped and turned into a cultist.”

Fjord/Avantika does make her jealous, but it’s also serving a purpose. Laura compares it to telling the high school crush to go hang out with a best friend, only to have them start dating.

Marisha doesn’t feel like Beau’s plans were overly shot down this episode--it’s something she hadn’t even noticed until this question. Marisha feels like it’s so much of a group effort with everyone trying to get to the right plan that it’s hard to pick out who contributed what part of which plan.

Brief interlude to examine a portrait of Brian that looks like George Michael.

In re: the Molly disguise: Beau felt like there was just a wall of regret walking towards her, because it was the friend she let die and the one-night stand. Beau never felt it was actually Molly, though. Jester picked Molly because when Nott said “Keg,” she instantly associated it with “someone who is really cool--who’s also super cool?” Everyone commiserates over how into the night’s shenanigans Molly would have been.

Beau was frustrated while being detained, but she also knew it was going to happen, so it wasn’t a huge issue. She felt like that was where the challenge began for her--anything to get the guard away from what was going on.

Another brief interlude where everyone experiments with how to make power vaginas with their hands. “This is the car salesman power vagina.” I feel like wherever the rails are for this show, they’re so far gone they might as well be little stars in the sky.

Laura thinks Jester’s reaction to Caleb’s backstory would be much different than Caleb imagines it. Both Laura & Marisha talk about how Caleb’s convinced the moment people realize, they’re gone; there’s also the complication that Beau’s “comforting” is not actually that comforting. “She’d say, ‘you know, they won’t care,’” (which Marisha points out, Caleb would respond--how could someone not care about this?) when what she means is, “They love you and won’t abandon you over this.”

Laura and Marisha are both pumped about Caleb’s Wall of Fire--the walk to the dock was like “getting called to the principal’s office, except the principal is going to kill you.” Laura’s immediate reaction was regret she’d tossed the gems, but she loved his decision since she was panicking IRL & her heart was legit pounding. They also both get super enthusiastic bashing Nott’s plan to dump the haversack in an alley. “It’s bright pink! Someone would have definitely seen it!”

Marisha really misses Professor Thaddeus, but is convinced she’ll never see him again. Dani: “He’s your Nymeria, your Arya.” Marisha, tearfully: “He’s gonna come with his flock of owls and gouge out everyone’s eyes but ours.”

Laura’s convinced Sprinkle is magic, since he definitely should be dead twice over.

Quebec is for Lovers: After Dark edition

Neither Laura nor Marisha are cooking this year. Laura & Travis have no Thanksgiving plans at all this year. My gosh, if they were here my parents would be stuffing them full of turkey yesterday, even though they have no idea who they are.

Brian teases Max over messing with Trinket & carrying him back and forth in his car. Dani wants one TM where Brian isn’t mean to Max. Max, offscreen: “I’m FINE. I’m GOOD.” Marisha laughs that Max was okay with Brian’s teasing but shooting daggers at the TDs laughing.

Brian gives Dani an A for amazing and adorable, but not asshole.

Dani ships Percy/Vex, Keyleth/Vax, and Fjord/Jester. Close after is Kima/Allura & Caleb/Jester. She would be surprised if it happened, but wouldn’t object. Marisha asks, as a shipper, what does Dani look for in a quality ship. Dani likes clear feelings with clear reciprocation, canon connections; she doesn’t ship a ton of subtexty stuff.

Laura has been relistening to Vex’s playlists & crying. Both she & Marisha really miss Vex & Keyleth. Liam texted Laura the other day a fanvid of Vex & Vax that made her cry.

Marisha gets emotional seeing fanart of older Keyleth because it means that she’s living on & being happy. Noelle also came up & thanked Marisha for giving Tova a purpose after the latest Honey Heist, and everyone talks about how many hours they’ve spent creating and living in these people.

Marisha can’t listen to Tokyo Sunrise by LP anymore because it instantly makes her cry.

Beau is not a mindflayer. Everyone’s convinced, Marisha.

If Laura had Jester’s paint set, she’d draw home improvements. She’d draw a door for her bathroom into Ronin’s nursery. Marisha would draw more producers--”Not to undermine the ones I have! We’re so overworked!”

Brian looks to Max for the time left, only to have missed Dani literally just giving him the signal.

Brian starts to say he’ll see us next week, but Dani tells him not to confuse us since there’s no TM next week. Brian: “We’ll see you next week this Thursday Critical Role on youtube.com, Logan Paul guest starring, along with Paul Rudd, Rudney Dangerfield...”

Max, as the sound fades: “Okay, please...”

And that’s it for tonight. See you next time, everyone!

#critical role #critical role spoilers #talks machina #talks machina spoilers #long post for ts

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loquaciousquark · 6 years

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Talks Machina Highlights - Critical Role C2E18 (May 15, 2018)

@eponymous-rose is out tonight, so here I am instead, tiny-footed in her enormous...shoes? This metaphor’s escaped me.

Preshow is the crew filling a whiteboard with chat-directed drawings. It includes Mollymauk covered in pyramids, Jester’s lollipop, and Caleb on fire. You know, as it happens. Liam smiles very convincingly next to it.

Anyway, tonight’s guests are Liam and Sam, who arrives late and brings his Emmy. This fool.

Tonight’s announcements: new website! Critrole.com. It’ll have updates, news, events, and Sam suggests a daily vlog from BWF. The hardcover version of VM Origins will have its launch date announced this Thursday morning on said website. Liam pulls out a copy of the thing and it looks great. Also, everyone except Liam will be participating in the Stream of Many Eyes livestream in LA June 1-3, which will include multiple live D&D games. More information and tickets here.

Crit Role Stats! Nott currently has the most kills of the MN with 16. Her HDYWTDT on the hill giant puts her at 5, tied with Molly for the most.

Caleb has cast the most spells of the group with 146. The next closest is Jester with 100. Liam: “It’s that ritual casting, yo.” However, Jester’s cast a larger variety of spells (22 to Caleb’s 20). This doesn’t include the Wand of Smiles (Caleb: 1, Jester: 4).

Sam is still stuck in character creation in Pillars of Eternity. Liam calls BS since he asked how to walk, but Sam reminds him you walk before going into the CC. He’s spent an hour and a half making a Cipher. BWF made Pike, but picked the wrong voice. Liam suggests picking Grog’s voice in his remake. Liam played the opening nine times and eventually had to reinstall the whole thing to unlock the VM portraits. Sam has a traumatic realization that he has the same problem & will have to reinstall as well.

Caleb is strongly regretting entering the Victory Pit due to the exposure it’s gotten them. He didn’t think there would be any bigwigs this far out, but he was “shocked” to find he was mistaken.

Nott isn’t happy with the notoriety either, but she’s conflicted; “she enjoys the supportive glances of her comrades, her teammates, but every once in a while is reminded other people are watching too.” Both agree the afterparty went badly.

Re: the Trent namedrop, Liam: “I can’t believe he’s here, this far out... I didn’t take in a lot of what happened for the next twenty minutes.”

During a discussion of distractions during an episode, Sam talks about how he and Laura were drawing a shared picture last episode whose arms and legs became dicks over the course of the episode.

Nott was surprised to find she was of value to the team during the hill giant fight. She’s still getting used to her abilities, but being so small and taking down something that big was a confidence boost. “She’s super jittery and nervous about everything and she drinks to compensate. I think this is going well for her, helping the team.”

Frumpkin happened post-asylum, so there was no danger of Trent recognizing him. Liam: “He was tapped for school at 15, meets Ikathon at 16 & goes with Astrid & Aeowulf, goes home for the first event with his parents about a year later, burns the house at age 17, and then was in the asylum until age 28. He ran and was totally alone when he got out; the first step was a cat, the second step was a goblin, and the next step was a group.” Sam: “Your guy was institutionalized for over a decade? I should reconsider who I travel with...”

Nott doesn’t necessarily believe Yasha is a spy, but she doesn’t know why she keeps disappearing or what she’s doing. She doesn’t even know what Yasha is, just that she’s super powerful and scary.

GIF of the week: @trisail. It’s the Trent reveal moment with overlays of Caleb shorting out. Heh.

Lengthy discussion about the “leave the table” moment. Liam found the scene super satisfying as it played out and doesn’t regret it. However, it’s a game for his friends first and foremost, and the primary purpose must be to entertain his friends and make them laugh and gasp, and this way robbed them of their reactions. He doesn’t think there would have been an issue with them being at the table--they’re all respectful audience members, and they’ve all been present before at other reveals. Plus, his story is very complicated, so “what am I gonna do? Spill it out all over again for Fjord, for Jester? It just didn’t seem feasible.” Caleb’s story has been in Liam’s head for a long time, so he was glad to get it out. Liam got the most responses on Twitter ever after his first tweet that he’d told his friends to go back and watch.

None of the other cast members aside from Ashley & BWF have watched the Caleb scene yet. Ashley found it pretty crazy and “a lot.”

Liam reminisces about seeing Vex’s heartbreak at Percy’s death and Grog’s privy conversation with the sword, even though he wasn’t part of those scenes, and wishes he hadn’t excluded his friends from his reveal. “I didn’t get a cat o’nine tails out of Taliesin’s closet and flagellate myself, but...a small course correction.”

Caleb’s reveal clarified some things about how Nott views Caleb; neither Sam nor Nott are dumb, and they both knew that he was suffering from something terrible. This just confirmed that & fleshes out the details. Nott’s views of Caleb’s victimhood, and her wishes that he no longer have to suffer, have not changed.

Liam points out that the intimacy of the show has changed over time, allowing them to pursue deeper conversations between characters instead of just the wacky hijinks they started with. As an example, he points out the difference between the first Liam/Keyleth scene where people hid behind hats vs. later Percy/Vex scenes where everyone was respectful and quiet. Sam enjoys that they can now have fun-fun (getting out of tricky situations and fighting together) alongside adult-fun (deep conversations and new relationships). BWF points out they’ve spent more time with these characters already than a full 5-season primetime show.

Sam became addicted to playing D&D precisely because of the level of depth you could reach with these characters, which you can’t achieve anywhere else.

In the thirty minutes before the Caleb conversation, Liam was wildly conflicted about what he was going to do (reveal everything, reveal only parts, lie). At the same time, “it’s killing [Caleb] to keep it all bottled up,” and even though Caleb’s really smart, he’s not a mastermind, and it may have still been too soon. However, Liam was also ready to stir the pot--he’s getting antsy that so many backstories haven’t been revealed, even though they’re theoretically a sixth of the way through the show. He also points out that Caleb has achieved his goal of finally getting into the library, so there’s nothing keeping him from leaving at any time. “That’s Caleb talking, not Liam.”

Laura & Travis interrupt to Facetime in & pretend they meant to call BWF’s mom for Mother’s Day. It’s pretty darn funny, and they confirm they totally watch this show from home when they’re not on it. Nerds.

Sam also takes a moment to loudly, angrily remonstrate Laura & Travis for taking pho home to eat. “You do not take pho home to eat. You eat it at the restaurant. It does not travel.” Discussing Sam’s food snobbery, Liam reminisces about how proud he was of some homemade blueberry pancakes he made after his kids were born. He shared a picture of them with Sam, who then sent back a picture of pancakes Sam’s wife made that “looked like something out of a magazine, there were raspberries, and everyone was like OHHHH, OHHHH, and I was alone and tired in my kitchen.” Sam: “I’m the worst person.”

Sam had guessed that Caleb’s backstory had something to do with fire, but had thought maybe he’d accidentally hurt/killed someone. “It’s pretty bad to accidentally hurt someone with fire. It’s super bad to intentionally kill someone with fire who is related to you.”

Caleb has no idea what happened to the other two children. The last thing he remembers before hospitalization was the house. Liam still thinks of Caleb as young since he’s essentially lost eleven years.

Sam asked Liam why he wanted to play someone so dark after Vax instead of someone more lighthearted. Liam’s just attracted to these kinds of stories; “this is what I want to do with my spare time.” He’s fine with other people being jovial instead of him.

Fanart of the Week: This gorgeous thing by Wesley Griffith. Apparently, Travis said this is his favorite representation of Fjord so far.

Nott doesn’t think she can do powerful magic; she’s just excited to be able to do small things. Liam’s dying to know Nott’s backstory: “She’s like a little bag of knives who’s hyperintelligent and drunk.”

Sam pauses to plug a new organization, Nerds Vote, a nonpartisan encouragement to register to vote.

In re: Beau’s reaction to Caleb’s reveal, Liam discusses his other options. He thinks Fjord is very intelligent but an unknown who might be evil. Jester he thinks would be the most likely to be repulsed or run away. Yasha’s her own kind of stranger who always leaves. Molly’s a 24/7 party animal that’s wildly different from Caleb. He feels Beau was the best choice; Beau had something he wanted anyway (and had shared a secret with him) so he didn’t have second thoughts acceding to her request.

Even though Nott has forgiven him, Caleb’s not looking to be forgiven or have anyone pat him on the back. He doesn’t believe “it’s going to be okay or it’s not his fault.” He knows he’s absolutely to blame and there’s a massive degree of self-loathing, so Liam feels Beau was the absolute perfect person to tell since she was going to be dry, pragmatic, and real. “No fluff, all...elbow-corners.” He didn’t want someone to coddle him and she was the perfect person for that.

He recognizes that they’re both Empire kids and share that history. Caleb also has been paying attention to everyone, and he feels Beau is clearly not happy with the Empire regardless of what she says, which aligns with Caleb’s feelings as well. Liam thinks it was a great choice to break it to her first, & he feels it wouldn’t have been fair to exclude Nott if he were to finally spit it out.

Nott’s not concealing anything from anyone about her backstory; it’s just that no one’s asked. Caleb never asked about anyone’s backstory because he didn’t want return questions.

Sam likes Liam’s story choices and calls them brave.

The original idea for Caleb stretches back so far that Liam thought of the name Astrid even before Matt introduced Pike’s cousin, Astrid. When they started discussing character creation for the new campaign, Matt okayed repeating the name. The German accent came much later in character creation (i.e. after the development of backstory). To Liam, Caleb’s backstory reads more like KGB or Pet Murderer over Hitler Youth, since as far as he knows it was only the three children involved, not an army.

Of the choices available to the group, Sam most wants to go back to the Gentleman. Liam wonders if Pumat has skeletons in his closet. (How many closets does Pumat have, I wonder?)

Sam segues into his difficulty remembering the difference between the Soltryce Academy and the Cerberus Assembly since they both have “C-A” sounding names. Liam: “Look, folks, he can either be really funny, or he can know the details.” Sam: “And that’s... where Ikathon is? And then there are the Halls of Erudition? There are too many things!” I have never identified more with him than this moment right here.

I have a brief, violent heart attack when an accidental keypress navigates me away from this page and I think I’ve lost it all. False alarm, please reduce heart rate to under 100bpm.

After Dark: Emmy and a lovely mace for Pike Edition

Liam elucidates the difference between a mace and a morningstar. Sam just about knocks his Emmy off the shelf getting the aforementioned mace for demonstration.

Sam’s asked which 90s Disney Afternoon show his character would like best. Sam: Darkwing Duck, Talespin, Gummy Bears, Fraggle Rock. Liam: Duck Tales.

Does Nott regret saying she’s Caleb’s mother after knowing what he did to his last mom? Sam: “Oh, wow. I didn’t even think about that.” Liam: “How could you not? I’ve been thinking about it for weeks!” Sam: “Well, it’s not like he’s a Terminator-style hunter of only mothers...” Finally--no, it hasn’t crossed Nott’s mind, but Sam will inform her soon.

The ultimate food sin for Sam--transporting pho is pretty high on his list, but he decides on ten-dollar wine. (Two-buck chuck, you know what you’re getting, swillwater flavored like wine; ten-dollar wine is actual wine that is terrible.) He recommends splurging for the fourteen-dollar wine. Sam loves cheap Chinese but Panda Express doesn’t count as Chinese. “No good Chinese restaurant ever advertises, ever.” Salted vs. unsalted butter is also a big thing. This is all because of Sam’s wife, he says; Liam points out that a year after they first met, when Sam moved to LA, Liam went over to Sam & Sam’s wife’s terrible apartment where they made very fancy salmon wrapped in that clear waxy rice paper stuff I can’t remember the expensive name for.

Caleb had very little left offensively in the hill giant fight. All he had was Sleep and Shield and a weak cantrip, so all he could do was gamble and guess on the timing. When he first cast it, Sam told Laura it was a big mistake.

A viewer question tries to goad Liam & Sam into a tickle fight. Liam threatens BWF with the mace instead.

Sam agrees to grow a small beard for Liam’s birthday, a little “chin music.”

And that’s all for the night! Is it Thursday yet?

#critical role #critical role spoilers #talks machina #talks machina spoilers #brian wayne foster #liam o'brien #sam riegel #long post for ts

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