I attempted to write an academic rivals to lovers trope for Trent but got lost within the plot at some point and itâs unsalvageable, so Iâm sososo sorry LMFAOOO
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normal people donât spiral every single night and feel rabid and irradiated stuck in their room standing doing nothing or sitting at the computer doing nothing feeling paralyzed not being ABLE to do anything until their brain âallowsâ them to go to bed im going to fuckingggggg shitt and shite
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Being Masc & Goth
This blog usually isn't fashion-focused, but I was thinking about alt fashion and how it's sometimes a struggle to figure out how to style things in a masc way if you're interested in darkalt fashion, but you don't want to go too casual or basic with it. So I thought I'd throw together some tips, link some DIYs, and maybe throw in a few moodboards.
I want to preface this with one thing: You do NOT have to adhere to traditional gender roles. Fuck anyone who tells you that you do. If you're a guy and you want to get into alt fashion don't let anyone tell you that you can't pull off a skirt or a dress or a strappy top. Literally the whole point of being alt is Doing Whatever The Hell You Want Forever.
However, not everyone feels comfortable in that (I made this post because I'm transmasc and sometimes the long gothic dresses make me dysphoric), and not everyone is safe to do that ( as much as it sucks ass, if you live in a conservative area sometimes it can be genuinely dangerous for guys to wear makeup and dresses in public, and your safety should always come first), so I thought I'd lay out some tips on how to dress alt and masc from my own experience. I'm still learning so feel free to leave your own advice in the replies or reblogs!
General Styling Tips:
- Jackets. Jackets, jackets, jackets. Something about a big jacket always seems to give an outfit a more masc energy, and adding a cool jacket to an outfit can be a great way to elevate it and add some extra visual interest. I like black blazers, leather jackets, and black denim jackets in particular, but vests (formal menswear ones or more casual denim or leather ones) can work well too, especially in hot weather.
- Any basic black pair of jeans will look 100x more alt if you loosely attach some chains to the pockets or belt loops. Also, pants with wider legs tend to look more masc than tighter fits. not sure why. Slacks can also be a really good and underrated option.
- If you want to find good headwear, cool sunglasses have never failed me. You may be able to take some inspiration from Ouji fashion as well, but that's just my personal taste.
- If you have a basic piece around, you can add pins, patches, safety pins, etc for a more casual look, or if you're going for something more formal, trims and lace details and embroidery can really add interest and elegance to it. (if you can't sew, you can order iron-on embroidered patches online or find them in craft stores that'll do the trick just fine.) This can take your pair of slacks or plain black blazer and turn it into a piece of formal gothic menswear you can make a staple of your wardrobe.
- Find inspiration in your favorite goth artists. There's a lot of really cool goth music out there and a lot of those bands get really innovative with their looks! Figure out what you like about their style and try incorporating a few things in, it's fun!
- If you have an alt wardrobe already but it just seems like something's missing or it could use some interest, try switching up the silhouettes or adding an extra layer! Seriously, don't be scared of playing with textures and sleeve shapes! I see a lot of dudes who just wear a band tee and a pair of jeans all the time, and there's absolutely nothing wrong with that, that can be a great look! But I think a lot of dudes just genuinely think that that's their only option and that everything else just "wasn't made for them" and that makes me a little sad. shred up some shirts and layer them, wear some bell sleeves, throw some extra safety pins or studs on, have fun! No one said masc fashion couldn't be fun.
Unisex/Masc DIY Videos I Found:
... And Some Inspiration!
[These are all goth music artists, I wrote the band/artist names in small text on the images that were not already watermarked for those who are curious]
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the way you bend, the way you break (c.bg)
so i did a poll for this a couple of days ago, and it had about 90% of you guys say that you guys wanted me to post this sub!beomgyu fic!!! sooooo⊠here it is. i am so embarrassed to post this but ill be fine omg, hereâs yall food!
MDNI OR YOU WILL BE BLOCKED.
smut warnings: sub!beomgyu x dom!femreader, pet name usage (good boy, puppy), reader gets called mommy, masturbation (m), handjob, piv, sex flashbacks, borderline mindbreak on beomgyuâs end i canât lie, dacryphilia/crying during sex, beomie so needy fr, nothing more i think.
word count: 1,197 i think. pretty sure
song i wrote this to:
smut is under the cut!
beomgyu just couldnât seem to help himself. his brain was working overtime. god⊠the thought of youânaked, sitting above him looking down at his shivering frameâfloods his mind. the blankets discarded to the sides of his bed does nothing to help his body stop feeling as if itâs on fire, his skin hot to the touch all over. his breathing becomes much heavier, nearly beginning to pant as he feels cock twitching in his pajama pants, slowly getting more hard and heavy the more he thinks about you.
you, oh my god.
an absolutely sinful memory plays back in his hazy mind of the last time you had your pretty hand wrapped gently around his swollen cock, letting him fuck up into your fist in such a desperate way that it was almost pathetic. âmy myâŠ. so needy my puppyâŠ.â he can hear you say so clearly, although itâs just his thoughts tormenting him.
he sighs heavily and whines. fuck, heâs so hard. it hurts. poor baby is so deep in thought that he can nearly feel it, closing his eyes, reliving it.
his vision was so fuzzy but he still managed to make out you looking so sinfully up at him, eyes half-lidded from the sight that is unfolding in front of you, tears pooling at the bottom of his glassy, empty, blown-out eyes. he was meer seconds from the tears building up so much that they down his pink blushed cheeks. you hum in approval when he realizes you noticed he was tearing up, earning a twitch from his poor cock.
âcry, puppyâŠâ
sniffles and pants seep into the atmosphere of the empty hotel room, he canât take this. his cock was throbbing. his shaky hands that were gripping at the hoodie he was wearing now started to make their way down to free his cock from the confines of his pants. he hisses at the contact, âp-please do somethingâŠâ
he wraps his long fingers around his length, slightly squeezing it, imagining your fingers were the ones around his cock instead. he subconsciously squeezes a bit tighter, but he doesnât think about how itâs because it feels a little bit more like how you grab his cock. god he remembers it too well. beomgyu begins moving his fist up and down his length at a slow and steady pace, cock jumping at his own ministrations. trapping his swollen bottom lip between his teeth, making it match the blush spreading across his cheeks.
heâs so overwhelmed, his mind wandering helplessly.
heâs now dizzy, flashing back to when you had him against the sofa. so gone, aching cock pressed up against your clothed cunt, your hips desperately grinding down to spread your wetness over his cock that was begging to be buried in you. âplease l-let me put my cock in you p-pleaseâŠâ beomgyu barely gets out. you laugh, heâs cute. his cock throbbing under your clit just felt too good. âso so so fucking good- aaaah-aah⊠like thatâŠâ
beomgyu begins to pump his leaking cock faster, his eyes rolling back. his hand subconsciously going up and down the whole length as the beads of his precum dribble down into the small space between his hand and his pulsating cock to make the glide a lot easier. âf-fuckâŠâ
he can feel his balls tightening as he remembers more from that same memory, and what it was like when you finally let him shove his cock into your warm, wet cunt after teasing him for so long. losing yourself in the way he gasped out your name weakly, but oh so prettily for you. your soaked velvety walls dragging against your babyâs cock so nicely. beomgyu letâs out a pained whimper at that thought, eyes rolling back and mouth falling open at the memory, spit glistening his bitten lips.
beomgyu can so clearly recall how you immediately started moaning when he was able to let you use his cock, hips noisily slamming down onto his. your hands grabbing at his arms as you try and grip onto his triceps, nails digging into his flesh, leaving deep imprints, making him hiss. using his hand he moves it up your chest to mindlessly grab onto your breasts.
you were getting increasingly wetter each time you lowered all the way onto him as your juices pooled down his cock, dripping onto the sofa at this point. you were âs-so f-fucking wetâŠâ and you could hear it. loud. and the sound only turned him into a braindead puppy, spurring him on to letting you use him as hard as you needed to cum. âfeels so g-good..â you growl out, youâre staring down at him in awe like heâs the prettiest boy in this world and heâs going to fucking lose it.
âf-fuck mommy⊠th-that spot feels so good.â beomgyu moans out just like he did with you. his fist matching that same hard and fast pace you were taking him at in that memory. but, fuck, it will never be as good as your tight cunt creaming all over your puppyâs cock when he hits that exact same gummy spot heâs imagining slamming his cock into right now.
fuuuuckâŠ. he can feel his orgasm coming. fast. hard. s-so hard. his brain is becoming mush. he starts to become a lot more desperate, whimpering so loud that anyone can hear, and throwing his head back as he lets his hips fuck into his fist, now decorated with his precum. he wishes it was your soaked pussy dripping down him instead.
he feels the euphoria of his orgasm get closer, hes pathetically gasping for breath, his large palms gripping the sheets that are now mangled around him, trying to ground himself as much as possible. âaaah fuck⊠âm so⊠close m-mommyâŠ.â his head pressing backwards into the pillows, his hair messily spread over his eyes, as your hips fuck back down onto his cock to use his swollen, leaking, dark red cockâ but itâs his fist, he remembers.
beomgyuâs eyes screw shut and his eyebrows knit together as he remembers the feeling of his mommy cumming on his cock, clenching so tightly. the way your legs close and quiver around his also trembling body. the way you become even tighter, cunt suffocating his overstimulated cock, milking out all of your pretty puppyâs cum into your cunt.
âg-god.â he shakily exhales again as he cums, hard. tears finally breaking free down his flushed cheeks and his cum shooting out wildly as he points his cock upwards to let it land on his hoodie, one of his favorite oversized ones that you let him borrow when he goes away, the last of the cum that he works out of his sensitive cock puddles around his shaft and down his hand.
âso messy puppyâŠ.â you hum, collecting the cum leaking out of you on your index and middle fingers and bring it to beomgyuâs mouth to clean it off. âgood boyâŠ.â
beomgyu shudders. he has to sit there for a second trying to control his uneven breathing.
fuck, he canât wait to see you soon.
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ă Camera Shy ă
â«: Automatic, Red Velvet // Movie Star, CIX // Color Me, JUNNY // Kitty Cat, KISS OF LIFE
âYouâve always tried to live an honest and responsible life; never spending money on anything ridiculous, scoffing at the things other people would be so willing to drop their paycheck on. But when life gets hard, youâre bound to give into your guilty pleasures, right?â
camboy!Beomgyu x fem!reader
Genre: f2l, smut, pw/minimal plotÂ
Word count: 14.4K (thereâs like three different smut scenes here)
Warnings: gyu has a thing for glasses idk donât question me, (mc wears glasses, not necessarily prescription), gyu is lowkey manipulative if u squint, slight possessiveness on his part? nothing toxic (i think), alcohol consumption, gyu has a tattoo..Â
smut warnings: gyu is a bit of a perv! mean dom!Beomgyu, sub!mc, masturbation (f&m), filmed sex, (consensual), dirty talk, degrading, use of toys (f&m rec.), exhibitionism, voyeurism technically, bit of a voice/hand kink? slight humiliation kink, mentions of safe words & subspace, mentions of squirting lmao, manhandling, spanking, pet names (princess, baby, etc.), fingering, multiple orgasms, overstimulation, marking, dry humping, handcuffing, biting, unprotected sex, dumbification, dacryphilia, creampie (lmk if i should add anything!)
Notes: lemme tell you. i wrote abt the tattoo before i stumbled upon that pic, when i tell you i was just ??? barely proof-read heehee. the thought of this au hit me like a that-so-raven vision, and I literally spent the whole day making sure I could finish this. enjoy bc i love camboy aus sm. (oh and pls, do me a favor and reblogâ i have an ominous feeling about whatâll happen to this fic once i post it.)
Beomgyu has always found the idea of his work a bit ridiculous.Â
Day by day, heâs a normal college studentâ he spends his early mornings in classes, taking all the morning slots everyone was always reluctant to enroll in before he went off to work; he was known as that cute server amongst the women that visited the restaurant he worked at, able to upsell and gain tips with ease as he quickly became a favorite amongst his coworkers.
He liked the attentionâ of course he did, he needed to in order to thrive in the field of his actual job, his hours at the restaurant nothing but a side hustle compared to the hundreds he could make of a single stream.
Those hundreds could always breach into the thousandsâ but those were on especially good days, like his annual Valentineâs Day stream he always held for his lonely, single viewers.Â
Beomgyu was quite the sweet talkerâ he got the practice from his day-to-day shifts, watching girls his age and older fawn at his words and flutter their eyes playfully. It was clear they enjoyed the attention just as much as he did, a cute smile on his face as he faked a shy laugh whenever they would compliment him.
Your hair looks really nice today. You smell amazing. Do you work out? You have a really nice voice.Â
He got that last compliment a lot.
âDo I?â he would purr, a sultry smile crawling on his face each time, like a practiced action as he would tilt his head teasinglyâ the reaction would be positive each time, without fail, and he would always end up with a collection of napkins with scrawled phone numbers every time he would clock outâ his coworkers would poke fun at him every time they watched him dump them all out apathetically.Â
You werenât into that one person? Dude, the lady at table seven was so fucking hot.
Beomgyu never really paid mind to their teasingâ he could care less for the men and women that tried to butter him up during his shifts, forced to act as though their shameless flirting didnât make his stomach twist unpleasantlyâ instead, he would be forced to smile, laughing sheepishly before he would slip away with one last comment.Â
âIâm flattered, reallyâ but, I have someone Iâm interested in.âÂ
That someone was youâ the pretty girl that sat across from him during his ten am lecture, finding himself spacing out every time and staring off into your direction; though you never seemed to notice, much too caught up in taking notes as he watched the way your brows would furrow, biting at your lip and adjusting your glasses as you remained focusedâ whether those glasses were for reading, blue light, prescription, or even decoration, he didnât careâ all he cared about was how unnecessarily attractive you looked in them.Â
He thought about you more than he liked to admitâ it was frustrating at first, his thoughts starting as nothing more than puppy love to something worseâ it was only after you piqued his interest that he began streaming more.Â
This was both a good and bad thing; good because, well, he began to climb the ranks of popularity and earn more, but bad because he would find himself thinking of you. Each. And every. Time.Â
âWish I could fuck you,â he would sigh out, his comments going too fast for him to keep up with as his eyes fluttered shut; leaning back against his headboard, he shifts, making sure everything but his lips remain out of frame before heâs back to closing his eyes, âwould you let me make you feel good? God, Iâd do anything just to feel you, taste youâŠâ
As far as his audience knows, heâs speaking to themâ the comments grow wild and tips flood in, all asking him to stop being a tease as they watch the way he palms himself through his sweatpants; grabbing at his length, stroking it slowly as he lets his imagination run wild.Â
Heâs not wearing boxers; Beomgyu knows it drives his viewers mad, able to see as a wet spot begins to form on the light material, his tip leaking furiously as his other hand tugs the hem of his sweater over his chestâ his vision is hazy as he reads the requests, laughing softly as he allows his fingers to trace along his chest absentmindedlyâ tracing over the muscle of his abdomen, circling his nipples slowly as he reads a comment under his breath.
Stop teasing and hurry up already !! >///<
The comment has him rolling his eyesâ yet his usual tippers begin to request the same thing, and his hand is slowly tugging at the tied strings of his pants as he smiles, mocking and mean as he bites his lip.Â
âHurry up? You want to command me while youâre over here throwing money at me like a whore? All just to watch me fuck myself, dreaming that it could be you?â
The comments start speeding up; itâs all a blur to him, but the sound of money coming in is enough to tell him that his usual audience is active again.
âPathetic,â he sighs, his voice deep and grumbly as he reads over the requests that come in with the money: yes, i wish it were me there⊠please, can we see your cock?
âDesperate little sluts,â Beomgyu hums, tugging his waistband down and allowing his cock to spring up; it smacks against his stomach, and though the people in his comments attempt to regain his attention with dirty words and useless requests, he knows itâs all because of youâ guiltily, he finds his thoughts straying the moment his hand wraps around his cock.Â
His streams have a certain formula to them; the more money, the better the show. Which is exactly why he ends up kneeling in front of the camera, fucking his cock into a clear flashlight as he listens to the sounds of tips coming in left and rightâ but his eyes remained shut, spilling enough filth to have his audience satisfied as he allows to let his imagination run wild.Â
In every stream, he cums to the thought of you; he has to bite his lip to not moan out your name like a pathetic bitch in heat, flooding his fleshlight with cum and continuing to fuck into it until his next orgasm.
In every stream, he finds himself thinking the same thought at least onceâ do you watch his streams?
»»»
The concept of camboys is ridiculous to you.
Why in the world would you spend all your money and emotions on a single person, when you can just go on Twitter and find the next best account that has yet to be suspended? Well, itâs not as though you find the idea of sex work appalling, but you donât think youâd ever feel good about yourself spending a hard-earned paycheck because you were horny.Â
Youâre not stupid; you know sex workers make bank, and you know that there are people in the world that love emptying out their bank accounts to such workers; whether itâs due to a kink or to feed into their parasocial relationship, youâre not sure.Â
You find that a good session on Twitter and your fingers usually does the trickâ maybe a toy or two, if you find yourself feeling that needy.Â
Todayâs session quickly becomes both disappointing and humbling; every account you try to look for has either been suspended or deleted, and every video you come across is something thatâs not to your taste or something youâve seen many, many times.Â
You feel weak as you come across the same account again; guiltypleasuresâ and heâs damn right, because youâre unable to resist the urge to click on his icon, feeling your thighs rub together with impatience as you sit back in bedâ scrolling through, youâre surprised to see that heâs posted another videoâ without a second thought, youâre watching it.Â
âFucking pathetic,â he sighs out, the familiar growled phrase making you gulp; you never found yourself to be too attracted to men who are extremely dominating and mean, but the man on your screen is somehow able to make it work as you find yourself getting wetter, âare you touching yourself right now? Donât you wish I was there with you?â
And shit, you think you know why heâs able to make you come back to him every time, even if heâs posted nothing new and youâre forced to rewatch old videos most of the time; maybe itâs because of his hands, delicate and thin as they wrap around his favorite pocket pussy, or maybe itâs the way he slowly fucks into the said toy; stretching it out, his tip poking out and oozing enough cum that you can hear the wet squelching sounds that come from every thrust.
Or maybe, itâs his voice, deep and breathy and addicting as he mumbles out filthy things like itâs the only thing he knew how to do; his lips are red and swollen as he groans, hissing through his teeth as you watch the way his hands tighten around his toy.Â
âShit, Iâd fuck you so good,â he sighs out, hips rutting into the toy in his hands as he laughs; his head tilts, and though youâre only able to see his lips, you know his eyes are teasing as he looks into the camera, âfuck you so that youâd never want anyone else but me.â
His thrusts are picking upâ you didnât even realize the moment you began touching yourself, embarrassing whimpers and breaths falling from your lips as you keep your eyes honed in on his motions; youâre close, so close, your ministration speeding up as you fight to keep your eyes open.Â
âYouâd be my good little cumdump, just for me to useâ right?â
The video ends shortly after.
God damn it! your mind screams, the sudden cut-off catching you so off guard that you completely ruined your orgasm; you feel insanely embarrassed by how frustrated you feel, not realizing how short the clip he posted was until now. Clicking away, you feel as though your mood is ruined as you read the contents of his tweet.Â
A small clip from the stream. Watch the rest here: https://âŠ..
Shit. Of course he would be a camboy. How did you not realize this sooner?
Honestly, if you sounded like that, you would be one tooâ and frustratingly enough, the brief cutoff is a damn good marketing strategy, because after a moment of thought, youâre clicking on the link.
You could just rewatch the videoâ you could also just go rewatch his previous videos, or even use your imagination to help you finishâ but the idea of doing so is much more unpleasant than usual. (And humiliating, because youâve found with horror that youâve begun to memorize how his previous, equally as short, clips go.)
Your resolve begins to weaken the moment you click on his pageâ because of course, everything costs moneyâ It costs to see his previous streams, costs to message him, and costs to get a fucking membership.Â
Who is paying for all this?!
You, apparentlyâ because after some serious, slightly horny-impaired thought, you decide that getting a low-tier membership wouldnât be too bad, right?
The cost is monthly (because of course it is, this website seems to want to charge you for just looking at his page) and you wince slightly as you watch your transaction go through.Â
Once you see the notification of your purchase pop up on your phone, you feel dreadfully sobered.Â
Because shit, being a low-tier subscriber only gets you a part of his most recent streamsâ about less than half of it, you noticeâ only able to get full access to streams prior to this month. Itâs enough for now, but you canât help but feel as though youâve become the very thing youâve despised as you lay back in your bed, staring at your ceiling for a moment before youâre sighing.
Youâre still horny.Â
»»»
You think you can get behind the whole camboy thing. One may say youâve been swayed, and quite honestly, you donât think you could dispel such claims at this point.
Because itâs been a few months, and youâve managed to stay through the whole thing. Youâre surprised that youâve begun to keep his streaming times in mind as you go about your day, ending your study sessions early or wondering if youâll get home from work in time to watch his streams.Â
You always do. Maybe itâs a deity above making sure you get your moneyâs worth, or maybe itâs the fact that guiltypleasures is a human too, with a normal life and better shit to do than sit in front of a camera and jerk off all day.Â
The idea of following in his footsteps has crossed your mind more often than you expected; anything would be better than being a hostess at this god-awful job you have, forced to sit through the way people take out their anger on you and proceed to flirt with the serversâ one of those servers being Beomgyu.
You were able to realize how popular Beomgyu was after your second shiftâ it didnât take a genius to figure out why as you were left to deal with the way women of your age and older (mostly older. So many older women.) would creep up to you shyly, putting up a front of innocence as they asked you is Beomgyu here today? Could we sit in his area, please?
Seeing him rack up tips after a busy shift is always enough to have you wondering if you should switch to being a serverâ but then you see the way the women are treated, your stomach flipping in disgust at the way men leer and comment at themâ youâve even seen Beomgyu get cursed at plenty of times as well, shivering at the jealous partners and the way theyâve been blacklisted for threatening him.Â
Tonight is one of those nights. Youâve clocked out, shrugging on your jacket and gathering your belongings when you see Beomgyu storm in through the employee entrance; you donât think youâve ever seen him angry, but the sight has your eyes widening as you watch the way he frowns at his uniform, cursing angrily under his breath as he approaches the break table you stand by.Â
âFuck,â he hisses, low and breathy and mean as he continues complaining, berating the customer that had the audacity to throw their drink at himâ but you, in your very depraved state, remain stuck on the way he sounds, his voice far too attractive for a person who is spouting out filth.
This feels familiar.Â
âHey, you okay?â you ask softly, feeling awkward as you mentally slap yourself for your train of thought; it seems as though Beomgyu hadnât even realized you were there, his head snapping up as he stares at you like a deer caught in headlightsâ his mood is immediately shifting as he sends you a sweet smile, acting as though his clothes arenât soaked as he waves you off causally.Â
âYeah. Just some ridiculous customers,â he says, laughing softly as he grabs at a pile of napkins on the table; you wince as you watch him scrub roughly at the stains, unable to stop yourself as you jump to his aide.Â
âHere, youâll only get the stains in deeper if you do that,â you say, taking the napkin from his hands as you begin to dab at his uniform without much thought; youâre much closer than you should be to someone youâve never really talked to, but you donât seem to realize it as Beomgyu practically forgets to breathe from your proximity.Â
Shit, how did he find himself in this situation? He might as well go back out and thank the jealous, âtough guyâ boyfriend that threw his drink at Beomgyu, because he feels as though every guilty fantasy is coming back to mind as he takes in your concentrated expression, your hand placed firmly on his chest for support as the other dabs at the stains in his uniform.Â
You smell so good. Even though youâve been in the restaurant just as long as him and have been around food this whole time, heâs still able to pick up on your scent with every shaky breath he takes.Â
Youâre wearing your glasses, too.
Beomgyuâs mind is wandering off to dangerous places; he knows he needs to get himself under control, because the danger of him popping a boner just from how close you are is a higher probability than heâd like to admit. It seems as though youâre snapping out of your trance the moment he clears his throat, your face growing hot and slightly horrified as you jump back; Beomgyu canât help the smile that tugs at his lips at the sight, finding your embarrassment oddly endearing.Â
âSorry, got carried away,â you say, smiling shakily as you take in the way Beomgyu practically beams at youâ always a sweet, nice guy, waving you off without a problem as he laughs softly.
âNo, it seems to have helped,â he says, and you canât help but notice how oddly charismatic he is even now, during this mundane interaction that has you stuttering over your words stupidlyâ but to be fair, how are you supposed to give him advice on how to get the stains out when heâs looking at you with the cutest god damn puppy eyes youâve ever seen, his brown eyes round and sparkly as he listens intently to every word you say?Â
âI wouldnât have thought to do that,â he smiles, his cheeks puffing up cutely and oh, is it weird that you want to coo at how cute he is and pinch his cheeksâŠ?Â
Definitely weird, you decide, letting out a soft laugh as he tells you that heâll try it as soon as he gets home.Â
âSpeaking of which, Iâll let you go; you probably donât want to be here longer than necessary,â Beomgyu is so kind and considerate even as you tell him itâs fine and that you didnât have any plans after work anyway.Â
âIâll let you get back to work,â you canât help the soft laugh that escapes you as Beomgyu asks you to wish him luck, the smile he sports coy as you follow his command without any hesitationâ you take this as your chance to leave before things get awkward, but a part of you itches to go back and talk to him more.Â
Beomgyuâs good, you realize as youâre exiting the building, a bewildered laugh escaping you as you realize that he managed to charm you just from that short interaction.Â
You get why heâs so popular.Â
»»»
Any plans to go to bed early and rest are immediately thrown out the minute your phone buzzes beside you.Â
You were just about to put your laptop awayâ just on the verge of falling asleep, until your eyes reluctantly drifted to read the words that take over your screenâ itâs a Twitter notification, the username making your eyes widen as youâre scrambling to unlock your phone and read the rest.Â
guiltypleasures
had a shitty shift today, let me take it out on you? https://âŠâŠ.
Oh. oh, oh lord⊠you can feel the exhaustion lifted off in an instant; suddenly, youâre wide awake, eyes widening as you quickly copy the link of his tweet into your browserâ while your mind scolds you for trying to stay up and possibly ruining your sleep schedule, the other, much more sinister part of it tells you that youâre paying for a reason.Â
The stream starts in five minutes.Â
While you wait anxiously in your room, your hands swiftly going to your nightstand to take out some toysâ your trusty vibrator and a dildo you recently bought, all because of himâ Beomgyu paces around his setup, gathering his own toys and changing into something that the viewers might like; today's ensemble is a bit more bothersome than usual, but he knows how much his viewers like when he dresses up and role plays a bit with them.Â
He was tired; today's shift took a toll on him, and heâd rather be fast asleep than putting on a streamâ but after looking at today's earnings, he couldnât help but feel unsatisfied with it all, deciding on impulse that he would put on a stream to make up for his lack of tipsâ instead, heâll earn tips in another way.Â
âHey,â he starts quietly, sitting back in his seat as he takes a glance at his monitor, making sure his face is out of frame. The viewer count rises and comments flood in no time, all of them freaking out about how good he looks in the suit he wears; the all-black ensemble feels stifling to him, but he knows taking it off will be worth it in the end.Â
Bad day today? Let us make you feel better :(Â
His top tippers are all begging for his attention, desperate and needy as always as they beg for him to get startedâ but he feels a lot more sluggish than usual, his gloved hands caressing his thighs slowly as he reads the comments out loud.Â
âYeah, todayâs shift wasnât that great,â he speaks, his voice deep and sultry as he allows a moment to pass, reading all the comments that beg for him to use them, âI only thought about you though. Just wanted to see you.â
There he goes againâ heâs no longer talking to his audience, but to you instead, closing his eyes and imagining a world where youâre in front of him, or even on the other side of this screen, one of the many faces that lusts over the way his cock begins to harden, the bulge becoming much more apparent as he lets his mind wander.
Unbeknownst to him, you are on the other side of your screen; a shy and flustered mess as you shift in your bed, watching the comments fly by as you wonder if you should join inâ not that you could, anyway, your low-tier subscription excluding you from doing such things, as ridiculous as it is.Â
Youâre practically devouring the man on your screen with your eyes; taking in the way heâs dressed, his pretty hands covered with leather gloves as he runs them slowly over his black trousers; stopping as they run back to his hips, a hand beginning to palm at his bulge as he spreads his legs a little wider in his chairâ today's setup is a bit different, along with his attitude as he seems to sweet talk the audience more than usual.Â
âSeeing you is the only good part of my day,â he sighed, his free hand trailing up his chest before it stops at his tieâ heâs tugging at it, loosening it and allowing it to hang around his neck as he continues, âCanât stop thinking about how much I want you, how Iâd fuck you until all you can remember is my name.â
The offer is tempting; you groan a little as you watch him begin to slide off his blazer, throwing it to the side before heâs unbuttoning his white shirtâ heâs making quick work to become undressed, you notice, untucking the material and undoing his belt as the sounds of it jingling ring out in the room.Â
Yet, no one knows his nameâ no one knows anything about him, except the tattoo that runs across his side as he slides off his shirt, the sharp, elegant lines running all along his ribs, trailing down to his hip bones and disappearing under his pantsâ the rest of him remaining a mystery as youâre left to lust over a nameless, faceless stranger.Â
Thatâs probably where the appeal comes from; youâre able to imagine anything about him, from what his face looks like to what he may do when the cameras are off; youâre free to mold him into the perfect fantasy, using him and projecting onto him as you watch him slowly unzip his pants, a hand slipping under as he begins to jerk himself off teasingly, slow as always as he waits for the requests to come inâ like clockwork, your eyes fall to the end of his tattoo, taking in the cute heart that rests by his hip bone, the ending of the elaborate piece that always has you wondering what itâd be like to see in person.Â
âHmm? You want more?â he says, tilting his head slightly as he smiles; itâs mocking as always, biting into his lip as he begins to roll his hips into his handâ making a show out of it, throwing his head back and letting out a breathy moan that has you shivering.
âHow about you show me just how much you want it,â he sighs out, smiling evilly as tips begin to come in left and right as a response; you find the way heâs able to manipulate the audience impressive, always able to get them to blow their money on him without hesitation.Â
He leans forward, towards the screen, and youâre able to admire his lips as he reads the comments, mouthing them as the lights cast a glow on his pretty, pouty mouth, his neck tempting and begging to be marked as you watch the way he displays it so teasingly.Â
âGood girl,â he laughs softly, your eyes flickering to the comment section for a moment; his top tipper has spent an egregious amount on him yet again, and you listen to the way he softly begins to fulfill her request, the rest of the audience momentarily disappearing as he begins to speak to her.Â
âAlways such an obedient thing for me, hmm? Tell me, what do you want to see?âÂ
His manipulation is seamless as he watches another tip flood in; all from the same person, the amount doubled in order to get his attention past all the others that blow a measly twenty on him, nothing compared to the three hundred that is highlighted in gold, the comment momentarily pinned for the man to read it.
I want you to fuck your favorite fleshlight and use a vibrator while you think of me. Can you moan my name please? Itâsâ
Her comment has your eyes widening for a second; itâs bold and demanding, and the idea of requesting such a thing from the camboy in front of you is daunting as you read her request over and overâ your face feels hot and youâre already taking off your sweatpants from how needy you are, wondering if the man on your screen will accept such a request.
The first two are nothing to himâ in fact, itâs more on the tamer side as he already finds himself reaching for the aforementioned toys.Â
The problem lies in the last request.Â
Heâs not one to moan names on a live stream; he usually saves it for personal requests he gets, the videos much more personal and calculated as he gets to take his time with themâ so for his top tipper to request such a thing on his livestream is a bit more difficult; especially when he spends this time thinking of you.Â
But then again, itâs three hundred dollars.Â
âOkay then, is that what you want? Hmm?â he teases softly, purring out her name at the end as he watches the way she tips him again; it has him laughing in amusement, sitting back in his chair before heâs crossing his arms over his chest, singing out her name with a soft lilt as he watches the way she continues to pour money at him like itâs nothing.Â
Soon enough, more requests come in; all with the same amount and request, hoping that theyâll be able to hear their names fall from his lips as he slowly begins to tug down his pants, raising his hips as heâs left in nothing but his underwear, the briefs straining painfully as his cock twitches, begging to be free.Â
âOne at a time,â he murmurs sweetly, patronizing as he mumbles that itâs her turn now, watching the way she seems to react with every purr of her name.Â
The sudden trend of requests makes his stream slightly difficult; heâs always found himself to be a lot more into them when heâs mentally moaning out your name, lips ghosting over the syllables every time heâs coming undone. Instead, heâs forced to moan out the name of a stranger as he begins to palm himself slowly, even though his mind thinks back to you and the small interaction you had today.Â
He feels his cock twitch at the mere thought. Itâs painfully hard and wonât stop leaking as he takes it out, not needing to use any lubricant as he begins stroking it slowly, hips jumping at the feeling of the leather against his skinâ and though his lips moan anotherâs name, his eyes remain closed, thinking about you.Â
You and your meek personality, always letting guests take out their anger on you before theyâre turning around and sucking up to Beomgyuâ heâs always had to resist the urge to fuck them up as a response, knowing that you think no one else notices your sullied mood and your crestfallen gaze every time they seem to get away with it.Â
Heâs never free to comfort you. Youâre both far too busy to be around each other for longer than a few minutes, and today was like a blessing as he caught you at just the right timeâ he would have stayed the rest of his shift back there talking to you, if only he hadnât been playing the part of a sweet, considerate guy.Â
He thinks back to how you felt against him. How, even though your actions were innocent and you were much more focused on taking out the stain of his uniform, he still felt the warmth of your hand against his chest, delicate and smaller than his as you leaned in close enough to allow himself to get a whiff of your sweet scent.
And those glasses.Â
He never thought he would find himself hung up on such an item, but the way they make your eyes look big and sparkly is practically enough to make him cum on the spot. Instead, he grabs a hold of his newest fleshlight, soft and tight, just how he imagines you would be.Â
Itâs perverted, but as he slides his cock into the tight sleeve, groaning slightly at how heâs barely able to push through, he imagines that itâs you. His mind begins to wonder what it would be like if you were above him right now, your thighs encasing his and your pussy leaking onto his cock as he fucked into you without abandon.Â
As he turns on his vibrator, running it along his balls and letting out pathetic moans, he imagines what it would be like to use it on you while he fucked you, imagining the way your tits would bounce and your eyes would squeeze shut as he made you cum until you were unable to hold yourself up.Â
On the other side of the screen, you imagine the same thing. Your legs are shaking and youâre fighting to keep your eyes open as you follow the pace heâs set, pressing your vibrator firmly against your clit and letting out weak whimpers at the sensation. You try to ignore the way he calls out the same name over and over, wondering instead what it would be like to hear your name from his lipsâ the sound is ringing throughout your mind the moment you imagine it, burying your face into your pillow as you increase the intensity of your toy.Â
âLet me fill you up, want you dripping with my cum,â he growls out, the sloppy sounds of his thrusts only spurring you on as your thighs close around your hand, hips grinding into your dildo as you sink your teeth into your lip ruthlesslyâ itâs almost enough to draw blood as you watch the way he cums into his toy, hips continuing to rut into the it even long after heâs come, a white ring forming at the base as he turns the vibrator off from the overstimulation.Â
â_â Shit,â Beomgyu almost slipped up for a second, proceeding to moan out his requested name repeatedly as a distraction.Â
And you know youâre imagining it, but youâre briefly coming undone after that, your pussy tightening against your dildo and your legs shaking as you run your vibrator along your clit, imagining that itâs him inside you, that heâs currently spilling his load in your cuntâ your mind swearing that you almost heard your name slip from his lips for a secondâ and it isnât until you recover from your orgasm, the sound of another name leaving his lips repeatedly making you come to, that you realize it was your brain playing trick on you to help you get off.Â
But you werenât imagining things.Â
Beomgyu hopes his audience didnât pick up on his small mistake, but heâs relieved to see that theyâre none the wiser as they continue to request to hear their name next.
âLetâs seeâŠâ he says, and youâre barely able to keep your eyes open as you watch the way he leans towards the camera again, reading requests off the monitor as he grinds his hips into his toy absentmindedly throughout it.
Heâs barely getting started.
In turn, so are you.Â
»»»
Beomgyu is the sweetest guy youâve ever met.Â
After your brief conversation at the restaurant, you quickly found yourself talking to him more often.Â
It turned into him sitting next to you during the one class you shared, your friendship growing stronger day by day as you got to know him better.Â
He acts like a puppy; heâs so sweet and kind, his voice soft and endearing every time he spoke to youâ and, like a stark contrast to the flirty and outgoing guy you saw during your shifts at the restaurant, he was very shy, ever the gentleman as he always treated you with nothing but kindness.Â
âGood morning,â Beomgyu hums, sitting in the seat next to yours before heâs placing down a cup of coffee, âI got this for you. I already finished mine, but I thought you might like some too.â
Sweet gestures like these were common with him; despite your insistence that he really didnât need to, he always did it anyway, ever the charming man as he sent you a cute smile that would have you unable to say no.Â
âHey, I heard youâre friends with Yeonjun?â you ask, reluctantly accepting the drink after he insisted that you didnât need to feel bad; your lips are curving into a small smile as you take a drink, stomach flipping at the realization that it was your usual orderâ youâre surprised he was able to remember it after the first time you got coffee together.Â
Beomgyu nods in confirmation. Youâre a bit surprised by his answer, unable to see the two be friends due to their contrasting personalities. You can tell that heâs curious as to why youâre asking as he pouts slightlyâ a habit he always does when heâs confusedâ and youâre quick to swallow down your drink and give him context.
âHeâs having a party this weekend. I was wondering if youâre going?â you say, and Beomgyu feels his stomach drop slightly; not because you were goingâ well, not entirely, at leastâ but because if you were going, youâd definitely end up seeing a different side of him. And after seeing how fond you are of his puppy-like behavior, he dreads seeing your reaction to a much more reckless side of him.
âI⊠think so,â he says sheepishly, wondering what kind of excuse he should make to not goâ but he pauses, seeing the way you pout at him, grabbing his arm desperately as you lean into him as you plead.
âYou should goâ pleeeasee? Yeonjunâs parties are super over the top and he always invites hella people, I donât wanna be there alone.âÂ
You have this man wrapped around your finger; with one look at your face, your gaze sweet and pleading as you cutely pout at him expectantly, he finds himself agreeing, unable to fight back a smile as he watches the way you cheer triumphantly, quieting down the moment the lecture starts.Â
Beomgyu will definitely have to be careful this weekendâ but seeing you will be worth it, even if heâs risking the chance of potentially changing the way youâll view him forever.Â
»»»
You have yet to see Beomgyu.Â
The party started hours ago, yet youâve only been present for a few as youâve already both greeted and lost Yeonjun, forced to mingle with people you barely know as you all hang out in his backyardâ because lord knows how packed and stuffy the place wouldâve been if he held it inside.Â
You currently find yourself playing cup pong, teaming with the girl in your communications class as you go against two strangersâ Yunjin is much friendlier and outgoing when sheâs drunk, cheering you on and yelling triumphantly with every ball you get inâ youâve barely had anything to drink as a result, and Yunjin is eager to fix that as she hands you a small shot cup; youâre hesitant at first, only accepting it after she explains that it isnât strong at all, the soju mixed in with other things as she tells you youâll barely feel it.Â
Itâs not that youâre a lightweight that would get drunk off one shot, but youâd rather not get shit-faced when you have yet to find Beomgyu; your eyes scan over the place once more after you take the shot, Yunjinâs cheers falling deaf onto your ears as you allow the team in front of you have their turn.Â
âDrinking already?â
Beomgyu has snuck up on you successfullyâ youâre flinching in surprise as you feel his hand fall gently on the small of your back, leaning in close so heâs properly able to speak to you over the music.Â
Beomgyu feels as though looking at you is a sin; heâs forcing himself to keep his eyes off you, listening to the way you ramble into his ear about how happy you are to see him, your head tilting back and exposing the column of your neck to him to get him to hear you.Â
âYouâre not wearing your glasses,â he comments, oddly hung up on it as he watches the way your smile only widens.
âYeah, didnât feel like it,â you say lightheartedly, leaning back against Beomgyu and finding comfort in the position that allows the two of you to speak over the booming music.
Unbeknownst to you, he takes this moment to drink in your appearance. The white, oversized button-up you wear is left completely open as it drapes over your figure, the light blue denim shorts entirely too tempting as they ride up your thighs, much too short to even cover you properlyâ but of course, thatâs the look you were going for, leaving your bottoms unbuttoned and folded down as you allow your bikini to peek throughâ the color is flattering on your skin, and Beomgyu wonders if heâll be strong enough to resist you, eyes flickering over to the pool thatâs filled with plenty of people as a distraction.Â
âYou wanna go in?â you ask, and Beomgyu realizes youâve followed his line of sight, shaking his head quickly in response. You laugh, turning around briefly as you listen to the sounds of Yunjin telling you that you have to drinkâ you freely down the shot in the plastic cup this time, much more at ease now that Beomgyu is aroundâ and turn back to him, pulling at his shirt slightly as you take in his attire.
âCome on, youâre definitely dressed for the part!âÂ
And that much was trueâ though he realized halfway through his drive here that doing so would not be a good idea, especially if he wanted to keep up this cute, innocent act of his.
âItâs too full right now,â he says, his excuse valid as you study the pool for a momentâ only to agree, turning back to the game as you tell Beomgyu to cheer for you with a cheeky smile.Â
It doesnât take much longer for you to get tipsyâ all because you made the mistake of trusting Yunjin to play properly during her turn, missing entirely and proceeding to get the two of you obliterated after she went against one of the guys on the opposite team (Jake, he later told you.)â but youâre quick to make sure to bring Beomgyu down with you, handing him every other shot you get as you tell him heâs now on your team.
What you donât seem to realize is that Beomgyu is not a lightweightâ far from it, watching with amusement as you slowly begin to get tipsy, your mouth loosening and your personality becoming much more outgoing after losing the game to Jake and his friendâ three times in a row.Â
âAgain?â you ask, laughing at the way Yunjin yells in agreementâ Beomgyu has to tug on your shirt to get you away, telling you that itâs definitely not a good idea to go again, especially with someone as uncoordinated as Yunjin.Â
âWhy didnât you play with me then?â you say, leaning against him as you smile up at him prettily; heâs leading you away from the table and towards the grass, over to where a small campfire is lit, plenty of chairs scattered about as the music becomes louder in this area.Â
âYou donât like games?â you ask him, stumbling to a stop and tugging at his shirt to stop with you, just so heâs able to hear you better. Coyly, you smile, your eyes twinkling mischievously as you lean in to speak to him quietly, âDonât you wanna play with me?âÂ
Your words are fairly innocentâ but your delivery is not, and it has Beomgyu sputtering in surprise as he wonders how he should respond to such a random advanceâ though he doesnât need to in the end, watching as you break character and laugh at your own antics, perking up immediately as you listen to the song thatâs playing.Â
âOh, I love this song!âÂ
Youâre dancing carelessly to the song without a second thought, pulling Beomgyu in and laughing at the way he seems reluctant to let loose; itâs probably the alcohol in your system thatâs making you act like such an idiot, leaning against him and smiling at the way he seems adamant to avoid your gaze.Â
âYou know, I just realized that weâre matching!â you laugh, tugging at the collar of his white button-up before youâre glancing down; itâs tucked neatly into his denim shorts, and your smile is only growing wider as you look back up at him, âwe look like a couple or something.â
Your words affect him much more than heâd like to admitâ but he has no time to dwell on it, eyes looking past you and at Yeonjun, who walks straight toward the two of you with a grin stuck on his face.Â
âHey, why didnât you tell me you were here?â Yeonjun yells, grabbing your attention as youâre turning to greet Yeonjun; youâre bubbly and seem to find everything funny as you giggle slightly, waving at him happily before youâre stepping away from Beomgyu.Â
âI couldnât find you,â Beomgyu mumbles, watching the way Yeonjun slings an arm around your shoulders casuallyâ he feels oddly angered at the sight, unsure why it irritates him so much to see the two of you act so close.Â
âDidnât know you two were friends,â Yeonjun says, and he watches as you begin to ramble about your history with Beomgyu with a small smileâ scanning your outfit, he frowns.Â
âYou havenât gotten in the pool yet?â Yeonjun asks, raising a brow at your entirely dry figure; you shake your head, which only makes him tilt his head in confusion, âI thought you said thatâs the only reason you were coming?â
âWell, I just havenât gotten the chance to,â you say sheepishly, the shy smile on your face quickly turning to one of confusion the moment Yeonjun hugs you; heâs got you tight, and youâre stumbling along with him as you begin questioning what heâs doing, your eyes widening the moment you peek over his shoulderâ youâre heading straight to the pool, the volume of your yells rising significantly as you begin to struggle against your friend, yelling at Beomgyu to come to your rescue.Â
(Itâs all for dramatic effect. Yeonjun laughs at the way you pretend to struggle against him, and he pretends he doesnât hear your laugh of joy the moment he falls over the edge, letting go of you in time and forcing the two of you into the water.)
Youâre pleasantly surprised to find that the water isnât freezing; you personally thank Yeonjunâs heating system as you come up for air, wiping at your face and adjusting your hair as you begin to splash Yeonjun, insulting him for being such a bully.Â
Your movements are immediately stopping the moment you spot Beomgyu at the edgeâ Yeonjun is quick to leave, sending you a small wink (the term âwinkâ used loosely) before heâs off to find his next targetâheâs taken his shoes off and he looks more than ready to jump in, and you canât help but laugh sweetly at his concern before you realize that you should probably take off your shoes as well.
âYou okay?â He asks you, watching the way you cringe as you take off your shoes, tossing them over the edge and leaving them to dry as you swim to where he stands.Â
âYeah, Iâm fine,â you smile, watching the way he seems hesitant to do anythingâ to get in or leave, youâre unsure. A second passes before an evil thought pops into your head, taking notice of your equally soaked clothes that remain stuck on your body.
âOh. Hey, could you hold this?â you begin, shedding off your shirt before youâre bundling it into a ball, holding out the fabric for himâ he crouches down, arm reaching out for your shirtâ and you seize your moment, both hands grabbing onto him and tugging as hard as you can.Â
And Beomgyu, in his unguarded state, falls in immediately.Â
The laugh you let out is pure evil as you watch him fall in, flailing for a second before heâs coming up for airâ and honestly, Beomgyu canât even be mad, at least not when youâre laughing so hard, your face lit up as you take in the way his hair is completely flat on his head.Â
âSorry. Couldnât help it,â you say, but you donât look sorry at all as you swim over to your shirt thatâs now sunk into the bottom of the pool. Youâre diving down to get it, quick to throw it over the edge and by your shoes before youâre tugging off your shorts. Youâre glancing back at Beomgyu, relieved to see he doesnât look angry at all, when you spot something peculiar.Â
âWoah, whatâs that?â you ask, approaching Beomgyu eagerly as heâs quick to follow your gaze. His cheeks are on fire and his hands are quick to fly onto his ribs, turning away from your curious hands and even more curious gaze as he stutters out an excuse.Â
âItâs nothing.â Thatâs probably one of the lamest things Beomgyu has ever said, and youâre not believing him for a second as your eyes widen at his sudden change in behavior.Â
âIs it a tattoo?â you ask, trying to get a peek through the cracks of his fingers; but the water makes everything blurry, unable to get the details of it before youâre humming appreciatively. âHmm. Thatâs coolâ I didnât know that was such a common spot to get tattooed.â
âIs it?â he asks, and suddenly, he doesnât seem to want to hide it anymore. Your curious gaze and awed compliments have him smiling, raising a brow as he feels himself become more confidentâ the idea that you of all people would judge him seems ridiculous now.
âWho else do you know that has a tattoo here?â youâre late to process the questionâ only because your eyes are widening as he admits that it is a tattoo, the words flying out of your mouth before you can truly process if itâs a good idea.Â
âI donât know. Iâve just seen it online, I guess.â Of course, this could mean many thingsâ but it means one thing to you, and youâre practically biting your tongue from the sheer terror that you inadvertently admitted to a guilty, secret pleasure of yours.
âOnline?â he asks, and you try to not look suspicious as you choose to simply remain quiet and nod.Â
âYeah, like on Pinterest and stuff,â you add, hoping that itâs enough to prove your innocence (to yourself) as you watch Beomgyu nod along to your words.Â
âArenât your clothes weighing you down?â you ask, eyeing the way heâs barely moved with a small smile, âor like, are you not wearing anything underneath?â
Most of the people here came with their swimsuits underneathâ some just opted to strip to their underwear, which is why you didnât feel alarmed to find people stripping their layers in order to jump into the pool.Â
Though, now that you think about it, you feel a bit bad for forcing Beomgyu to get in without much of a warning. Your concerns are quickly soothed, however, when Beomgyu shakes his head, hands coming up to unbutton his shirt before heâs laughing softly at your words.Â
âI was wearing my shorts underneath these,â he confesses, your eyes widening as you find yourself going silentâ because wow, was Beomgyu always this ripped?
You feel odd as you watch him strip, sliding off his shirt as most of his torso remains underwater; heâs slowly making his way to where you stand by the edge, and you can feel your heart stopping as you take in the look in his eyes.Â
Dark. Dangerous. Tempting. You think youâre imagining things as you look away, gulping heavily as you feel yourself sobering suddenly. Heâs throwing his shirt in the direction that your pile of clothes lie, and you feel oddly embarrassed by the way you have to look away as he strips his bottoms off as well.Â
Youâre only glancing back in time to see him hover out of the pool for a second, his upper body coming out of the water as he takes a moment to lay out both your clothing properly.Â
Holy shit.Â
Was it common for people to have the same tattoo? It surely was, right? Those are the only things that are going through your mind as you observe Beomgyuâs tattoo, taking in the familiarity of each line as your eyes drift down to his v-lineâ your eyes spot the small, perfect heart that rests right at his pubic bone.
Oh god. Oh god, oh god oh god, you think, trying your best to not lose your shit and melt in a puddle of horror and embarrassment as you realize that Beomgyu has the exact tattoo as guiltypleasures.
It had to be a popular tattoo. Or maybe it was a reference to something, or a drawing a tattoo artist put out to let other people useâ anything, it had to be anything else than the conclusion your mind was terrified of making, meeting Beomgyuâs gaze shyly as you realize that heâs caught you staring, hard.
âItâs pretty,â you breathe out, unsure you can trust your voice as you watch Beomgyu sink back into the pool, âIs it⊠a reference to something?â
Please say yes. Please say yes.
âThanks,â he starts, leaving you on edge as he takes a moment to inspect his tattooâ running his fingertips over it, tracing over the delicate lines in a way that has you gripping onto the edge of the pool, âand no, itâs not. I designed it myself.â
Youâre gonna pass out.
âReally?â you grit out, hoping he canât pick up on the tension of your voice as you smile, albeit forced, âLike, itâs one of a kind?â
âYup,â he grins, staring down at his tattoo with a proud look on his face, âOne of a kind. My tattoo artist didnât even post it, upon my request.â
Youâre gonna cry. Maybe youâll scream, or even sink into the pool and try to drown yourself.Â
Because Choi Beomgyu, your closest friend for the past few months and the man you may or may have not been beginning to crush on, is guiltypleasures, the man you lust after every night and fucking pay to watch.Â
You know they say that quiet guys are the freakiest, but this is too fucking much.Â
âThatâs so cool,â you say, sinking into the pool so the water is up to your mouth, hoping that you wonât blurt out any more stupidities as you stare off into the distance, attempting to let this new information settle in.Â
âHey, you okay?â he asks, and you hate how attentive Beomgyu has becomeâ even more because everything is starting to click, his husky and deep voice a replica of your stupid camboyâs, your body reacting involuntarily to the sound of it as you simply nod softly.Â
âMhmm,â you hum out, coming out of the water a bit so you can speak, âI think those drinks from earlier fucked up my stomachâ I should go home.â
âOh,â Beomgyu says, and you feel awful for the way heâs become confused at your sudden shift in mood, âAre you sure youâll be okay drivingâ?â
âI Ubered here,â you mumble, oddly embarrassed at your words, âcause I knew Iâd probably drink a lot.âÂ
âWell then let me take you home,â he insists, ever the gentleman as you try to say that he shouldnât, that he should just stay and enjoy the party.Â
âItâs dangerous to call an Uber at this hour though,â he continues, his stupid fucking puppy eyes taking a toll on your resolve as you bite your lip, âPlus, I only really came to this party because of you.â
God, what the hell was this behavior?! This innocent, shy, and sweet Beomgyu was a complete one-eightyâ scratch thatâ was an entirely different fucking person than the one that always talked down at you at night, spilling filth like it was in his nature and treating you like you were worthless.
It was a bit terrifying as you watched the way he remained entirely oblivious to the Earth-shattering realization, getting out of the pool and reaching out to help you out with a sweet smile.Â
After a second, you take it.Â
You feel so awkward as you gather your clothes; youâre jumpy and youâre sure Beomgyu has picked up on it as he eyes you from time to time, watching as you wring out your clothes as much as you can before youâre slipping on your shirt, your shorts left in your hand as you avoid Beomgyuâs eyes entirely.Â
âI have a few blankets in my carâ you should use those to keep yourself warm,â he says softly, looking back at you and frowning at the way you only nod with a tense smile.Â
Was he wrong about you? Were you lying when you reacted positively to his tattoo? Beomgyu has no idea why something as simple as a tattoo would change the way you treat him entirely, but heâs determined to get to the bottom of this as you enter his car, entirely stiff as you wrap one of his aforementioned blankets around yourself.Â
âHey, did something happen tonight?â He asks you halfway through his drive, licking his lips nervously as he watches the way you jump in your seat, not expecting his question at all as you remain silent for a second.
âUhm, no?â you say, though you seem unsure of your own answer as you wrap the blankets a little tighter around yourself, âIâm telling you, it was probably the drinksâ I didnât think my stomach would be so sensitive tonight.â
Your explanation is entirely plausible, but Beomgyu doesnât believe it as he watches the way you remain tense, his car slowing to a stop as the two of you wait at the stoplight in an awkward silence.Â
âYouâre lying,â Beomgyu says, deciding that itâs better to just be bold instead of tiptoeing around the subject, âIs it because of my tattoo?â
Your lips press together.Â
âIt is,â he says, and he feels an unexpected wave of disappointment and anger wash over him, âdid something that small put you off that much?â
âThatâs not it,â you say, your heart pounding against your chest and your body heating up as you realize that youâve upset himâ and greatly, because youâre able to see the way his brows knit together and his hand tightens on the steering wheel as he begins to drive again.Â
Did he think you were judging him? That you thought less of him because of such a small thing?Â
âThen what is it?â he insists, and youâre mortified to see that youâre stuck in traffic, victim to Beomgyuâs sharp gaze that demands answers, âCause youâve been acting weird since I showed it to you.â
âIâve seen it before,â you mutter quietly, sinking into your seat from the humiliation, âI recognized it. Your tattoo.â
Beomgyu pauses. Then he thinks of the many times heâs had his shirt ride up when heâs around you, from stretching to taking off his hoodie and having his undershirt get pulled up along with it.
âOkay?â
âLike. Online.â
Thatâs enough to leave him silent. Stupefied, even. One glance at you and your body language is enough to confirm that itâs exactly what heâs thinking, your posture so small that you look like you wish you could disappear.Â
âYouâveââ he swallows, wondering what else to say as traffic begins moving again, âlike⊠Twitterâ?â
âYour streams.âÂ
Fuck. Fuck, oh fuck, Beomgyu needs to get the fuck out of the car this instant, because his dick is already hardening and he can feel his brain short-circuiting at your wordsâ you watch his streams.Â
In your mind, you feel as though youâve completely dug a hole for yourselfâ Beomgyu is probably horrified at your confession, but itâs not as though you knew it was him, or that you had any malicious intent, or thatâ!
All Beomgyu can think of is how he shouldnât park the car in the middle of the road and fuck you stupid.Â
âDid you watch them a lot?â he asks you, his voice eerily quiet and stable, and oh no heâs interrogating you right now, this is the end for you.
âYeah,â you say, deciding to be completely transparent now that youâve decided to tell the truth, âIâm sorry.âÂ
Is it possible to come untouched like this? Beomgyu might just find out, because the way your voice is so meek and shy and guilty has him biting down on his lip, his mind growing foggier and his foot pressing down on the gas pedal a little harder as he begins to weave through lanes.Â
âYou were a subscriber then,â he says calmly, and you feel as though heâs trying to humiliate you on purpose as you nod your head in admittanceâ unbeknownst to you, thatâs exactly what heâs doing, enjoying the way heâs breaking you down from just a few questions with sick pleasure.Â
âHow much money did you spend on me then?â Youâre finding his line of questioning a bit odd at this point, but you refuse to look up from your lap as you find yourself answering anyways.Â
âI was just a low-tier subscriberâŠâ you say, and it feels even more humiliating to admit that you cheaped out on himâ what the hell was wrong with you?
âLow-tier? Not even a single tip?â he repeats, and you donât seem to register the way he pouts at you until itâs far too late.
Stopping at a red light, he grabs your chin, turning your face roughly so youâre looking at himâ and heâs back, the man behind the screen, except this time you can see the sheer pity that fills his gaze as he speaks to you as though youâre lower than him.
âHow are you gonna make it up to me now?â
»»»
God. Fuck. Are you dreaming? You think you might pass out.
âI know, I know I said I wouldnât stream tonightâ shouldnât you just be happy Iâm here?â
Your stomach is twisted in knots and you feel small as you attempt to take in everything properlyâ Beomgyuâs setup, the same room youâve seen countless times beforeâ youâre able to see it all, from his large computer monitors, his filming camera, to his grandiose bed and the insane amount of toys he keeps on standby.Â
You shift restlessly on your feet, entirely bare save for a shirt that Beomgyu let you borrowâ another white button-up, the very same one that he loved to wear when he dressed up, now hanging from your figure as he allowed the two of you to freshen up the moment you got to his home.Â
Nervously, you had left the shirt completely buttoned up; you watched from behind his camera as he continued to sweet talk his viewers, dressed comfortably in a sweater and sweats, his attire a complete contrast to your own.Â
âYouâre happy to see me? I donât believe you,â he smiles, and you feel as though youâre back to being a faceless member of his stream as you press your thighs together, able to hear the way notifications pop up on his computer, all of them signifying a new tip.Â
âYou know, todayâs a pretty special occasion actually,â he begins, pausing to see his comments and the reactions within them, âyouâre curious? Do you wanna try something new with me?â
Yes. Itâs the only thing he sees in his comments, and he lets out a soft laugh before heâs turning back to his camera.
Then, heâs looking past it.
âCome here, baby.â
You knew this was comingâ you agreed to this, for crying out loud, but you still feel as though your legs are made of jello as you hesitate, biting your lip before your eyes are widening nervously, the safe word the two of you established beforehand running through your mind like a mantra you mustnât forget.Â
âCome on, you donât want to keep them waiting, do you?â he asks, eyes flickering over to his screen, watching the way everyone seems to go haywire from his words, âSee? Theyâre curious, they want to see you.â
Youâre taking your first step towards the cameraâ then another, and another, until youâre walking past the setup, your back facing the camera as you make your way to where he sits at the edge of the bed, unsure of what to do as you remain frozen in front of him.
âWhat, are you nervous?â he asks, and heâs only able to let out a mean laugh the moment youâre nodding in response, unable to use your voice properlyâ thatâll change soon, he thinks, reaching for your hands and guiding them to his shoulders.Â
âDonât be,â he whispers, aiming for your thighs next as heâs tugging at them, pleased with the way you let him mold you to his desired position, your thighs on either side of his as you hover over him pathetically, âI know theyâll love you.â
Neither of your full faces can be seenâ but the audience can definitely see the way he captures your lips in a harsh kiss, filled with nothing but pure need as he finally gets to feel you properlyâ you feel as though youâre about to run out air when he finally pulls away, laughing as he feels the way you buttoned every single button of the shirt he gave you.Â
âNow why would you do that?â he whispers against your lips, and your fingers dig into his shoulders pathetically as you watch him rip it openâ the viewers are going wild at the sight, tipping ridiculous amounts of money just so they can get Beomgyu to see their requests; curiously your eyes drift to his monitor.
You practically collapse at the things you read on the screen.
Finger her. Eat her out. Use a vibrator on her, tie her up, breed her until she canât walk straight, use a dildo on herâÂ
The horror comes from the fact that Beomgyu is clearly considering doing all of it.
âWhat do you think baby?â he asks you, pressing his hand on the small of your back and forcing you to arch into him, your ass perking out and your cunt left to be entirely displayed as he trails his hand up your back, lifting your shirt along with it as he allows the viewers to get a good look at you.
âAnything that piques your interest?â he whispers, your head buried in his shoulder as you shake from the embarrassment of it all, âorâŠâ
You jolt at the way his hand lands a sharp smack on your ass. Heâs quick to soothe the area, smiling at the way he takes in the small whimper you let out, burying your face deeper into his shoulder and arching more in response. He lands another one, much more harsher than the last as his hand immediately drifts to your pussy, spreading you for the camera and watching the way you practically glisten under the light.Â
âShould I decide how I get to use you for myself?â
Heâs a bit surprised to find that youâre quick to nod at his second request, much too shy to even lift your head from where it rests as your fingers dig into his skin.Â
He smiles, his eyes drifting back to the monitor as he begins reading over their requests.Â
âHmm, are you shy, princess?â he asks, fingers trailing along your slit, feeling the way your hole flutters at the feeling, wanting nothing more than to feel him inside as you whine quietly, nodding at his words.
âBut youâre so fucking wet, and we havenât even done anything,â slowly, his fingers slip insideâ youâre both moaning at the feeling, and Beomgyu thinks that he might just be the one to cum as he feels the way you stretch around his fingers.Â
âGod, youâre so tight,â he groans, beginning to test out the waters by scissoring youâ spreading you out for the camera, watching over your shoulder as your arousal practically leaks out; he gulps, unable to keep his eyes away from the sight as he sighs.
âFeels so soft and warm,â he mutters, placing a kiss on your temple before heâs reaching for something off-screenâ the box of toys, you realize, forced to keep your face buried in his shoulder in an attempt to not show your face to his audience.Â
âJust like I thought you would be,â he says, smiling against your skin as he murmurs the words into your earâ just for you to hear, not for the thousands of people who are currently watching the stream.
âDo you know what I thought about every time I went live?â he asks, sitting up and shifting so that youâre back in position, shaking your head softly as you feel his fingers begin to circle your entrance.Â
âYou.â the stretch you suddenly feel has you moaning pathetically, the first sound the viewers are able to hear as the comments begin to fly pastâ your legs are shaking at the feeling of him slowly pushing the silicone dildo into your pussy, thick and long as you squeeze your eyes shut, feeling tears prick at your eyes from how full you feel.
âI thought of you. Every time.âÂ
Beomgyuâs eyes are dark as his hand grabs at your ass, spreading your cheeks and showing off the way the dildo begins disappearing into your tight cunt, your arousal already beginning to drip down the toy with every slow thrust of his.Â
âWished you were there every time I would stream. I thought about fucking you the way I would fuck my toys,â his thrusts begin speeding up; youâre a moaning mess against him as you push your ass back, showcasing yourself perfectly and pushing up against the toy that he continues to ram into youâ youâre jolting back into him with every thrust, your hands beginning to cramp with how hard youâre holding on to him.
âI would always moan your name too, did you ever notice?â
Your mind goes back to the time you thought you heard itâ and, unexpectedly, youâre coming undone, reaching your peak as you respond with a pathetic yesâŠ! The realization that it had all been real much more overwhelming than you thought.Â
Beomgyu continues to fuck the toy into you even long after youâre done coming; youâre a whimpering, crying mess against him, the stimulation making your mind muddled as you quietly attempt to get him to stop.Â
âHmm? What do you want baby?â he asks, lips trailing down your neck and to your shoulders, where he begins to slip off your shirt so that youâre more exposed. He remains fully clothed as he begins sucking bruises into your skin, following one of his requests to mark up your pretty skinâ his hair falls over his face, covering him momentarily as he begins drifting along your body carelessly.
Itâs too muchâ yet, itâs not enough to have you using your safe word, and the fact makes Beomgyu smile as he bottoms out the toy inside you, grinding it into your pathetic pussy as he watches the way a ring of your cum begins to form around the base.Â
âCome on, talk to me. Weâre waiting,â youâre hesitant to speakâ that much is clear, especially when you know how much traction this stream is currently getting, the sound of tips constant as you shake your head in defeat.Â
âNo? Okay then,â your shirt is being slipped off, leaving you naked as you wince slightly at the feeling of your garment being removed. Once again, Beomgyu is moving you around, and youâre facing the camera now as your legs are pried open by his own, the toy still stuffed inside you as you sit on Beomgyuâs lapâ right on his hard cock, whining softly as you feel him begin to hold your hips down, grinding into you for some release.Â
âDonât wanna use your words? Donât wanna say anything to me or the viewers?â he tries again, eyes narrowing at the way you remain disobedient and shake your head, laying back against him as you pant softly.
âYouâre not gonna thank our viewers for wanting me to please you, you fucking whore?â his hands are swift, and before you realize what heâs doing, your hands are cuffed behind your back, the fuzzy feeling reminding you of the cuffs he uses on himself sometimes.Â
âFine. You wanna be ungrateful, stay quiet?â every sound that leaves your lips is unsure and soft, barely able to reach the microphone of the camera as Beomgyu scoffs at you. âThen stay fucking quiet. I donât wanna hear a single word from you, understand?â
He doesnât let you respondâ of course he wouldnât let youâ but the way your mouth falls open suggests that you almost went against his command, the vibrator that he now pressed onto your clit making your legs shake with the sudden stimulation, threatening to close before Beomgyuâs own pried you back open swiftly.Â
âLook at you. Like a bitch in heat, only thinking about yourself,â he growls, his other hand beginning to thrust the toy back into you at a harsh pace, listening to the sounds of your arousal and the toy smacking against your skin with a satisfied groan, âDo you have any idea how many people wish they were in your place, wish they could be getting fucked stupid instead of having to sit and watch as I do it to you?â
He pauses. Then, he turns up the intensity of the vibrator with a cruel laugh.Â
âYou would fucking know,â he seethes, taking in the way you writhe against him pathetically, biting at your lip to keep quiet as your hands struggle behind your back, âshit, canât you hear how pathetic you sound? I bet you were a lot louder when you watched me, just another of my useless viewers that wish that I would fuck youâ that I would even fucking acknowledge you.â
Everything that happens next is all a blurâ your mind is foggy and youâre coming undone as you feel Beomgyu bite down on your neck, unable to hold back the pure keen of pleasure that rips through you, a string of unintelligible sounds flowing out of you desperately as you cream around the toy, feeling tears sting your eyes the moment Beomgyu decides to turn the intensity up again.
âTake it. I know you can,â he laughs purely because he knows that you have yet to use your safe word. Itâs even worse because heâs right, the overstimulation fogging your mind and making you melt in his arms, still able to trust him even if your mind isnât entirely there.
After a moment, the vibrator is turned offâ you can hear him toss it to the side before heâs pulling the dildo out of your aching cunt, your body twitching at the sudden feeling before your cum is oozing out, dripping all over Beomgyuâs sweats and onto his sheets as he merely laughs at you.Â
Youâre being turned around againâ you feel woozy as you cling to Beomgyu, barely capable of hovering over him as he simply looks up at you, his eyes holding that same, innocent puppy-like look that got you trapped in his clutches in the first place.
âI feel so stuffy,â he pouts, tilting his head up at you as you simply whine incoherently in response, âI know baby. Wonât you help me out?âÂ
It takes you a second to even register his request, your hands suddenly freed by him before you finally realize what he asked; your hands are slow and clumsy as you reach for the hem of his sweater, barely able to tug it up before heâs helping you outâ your hands land on his shoulders once more for stability, your gaze falling on his chest and trailing down curiously.Â
And there it is. The very tattoo that got you into this mess, though this time youâre free to gawk at it, not paying attention to the way Beomgyu realized he caught you staring until heâs grabbing your hand, placing it on his chest and trailing it down, allowing you to feel him up as he shudders slightly at the feeling.
Your fingers trace over the tattoo. All the way down, following every elaborate line until youâre stopped by the hem of his pants, hands immediately slipping under before youâre tugging them off, pulling off his boxers too as you feel him lift his hips, left just as bare as you before he smiles.Â
You feel his cock poking at your entrance, painfully hard as he begins to rub it against your slit; teasing you with the tip, looking over your shoulder to see what his viewers may be saying.Â
âWhat do you think?â He asks, pushing his tip into your cunt before heâs pulling back out. The action has you whining hopelessly, and Beomgyu has to take a second to recollect his resolve, pausing all movements in order to not come then and there.
âShould I fuck her? Does she deserve it?â He asks, looking over at you, cooing softly at the way your eyes remain glassy and fucked out, âDonât cry. You donât deserve to cry, not when youâve been so ungrateful to our viewers.â
A tip catches his attention, and heâs briefly scanning over the amount and request before heâs biting back a smile.
âSee? Even though you havenât said a word to them, they still want to see me fuck you,â he says, taking your hands off his shoulders and leaving you to wobble momentarily as he places your cuffs back on.Â
âArenât they the sweetest?â
Youâre barely able to process whatâs going onâ all you know is that your position changes within seconds, and your face is buried into the mattress while your ass is up in the air, your legs shaky as youâre barely able to hold yourself up; luckily for you, Beomgyu is there to help, hands grabbing onto your hips before heâs making you lean back.Â
His cock is poking at your entrance, and heâs already able to feel the way your cunt tries to suck him in as he passes his tip along your entrance, left entranced with the way you look under him, a complete, ruined mess as you quietly whine out to him, your voice muffled from where your face remained in his sheets.
Itâs cute, really, the way youâre able to focus so hard on keeping your face hiddenâ if you lifted your head now, every single viewer on his screen would be able to drink up your expression as he fucked youâ the thought irritates Beomgyu.
Heâll just have to make sure to fuck you until youâre too weak to move.Â
âGod, youâre such a brat,â he groans out, entering you slowly and feeling the way you clamp onto him dangerously; even with how wet you are, he finds it difficult to fuck you, gritting his teeth and taking a moment where he merely concentrates on not coming inside you then and there.Â
âStop fucking squeezing like thatâ ahâ shitâ,â it seems as though your pussy has him going stupid, unable to form a coherent sentence as he slowly pulls outâ the whine you let out is long and lethal, so desperate and carnal that Beomgyu finds himself losing control; tightening his hold on your hips, he begins to fuck into you without a care.
âSuch a good little pussy,â he grits out, watching the way your ass bounces against him with every thrust, âfuck, wish youâd let me fuck you soonerâ wouldâve made you mine, wouldnât be able to get enough of youâ god, fuckâ!âÂ
The way you tighten at his words is dangerous. Heâs cursing and talking down like he always does, but this time, itâs just for you. The very thought is enough to have you clenching around him again, mouth agape and drooling against his sheets as your sounds get louder.Â
Another tip rings throughâ the same person from before, repeating the only part of their previous request that Beomgyu has yet to fulfill.Â
Wonât she say thank you?
The words have him stuttering out a laugh, unable to help the way he moans in between. His thrusts slow, and heâs bottoming out inside you before his motions are nothing but a slow grind, rutting his hips into your aching pussy while he reaches for something off-screen.Â
Your whines and soft complaints at the sudden change of pace are briefâ because soon after a familiar buzzing sound is filling your ears, and before you can react, the same vibrator form before is pressed against your clit on the highest setting.Â
âGyuuuuuâŠ!â you whine out, long and desperate and incoherent as Beomgyu grabs at your cuffs, using them as leverage to make you slam back into him. His thrusts are brutal and the sound of skin against skin is enough rivalry to the buzzing of the toy as he begins to use the last of his energy to fuck you to your orgasm, watching as the chat buzzes with excitement from your sudden word.
What? Whatâd she say?? Was that his name? omg?!
âDo you think you deserve to come?â he sneers, his voice gruff as you shake your head, knowing damn well that you havenât been perfectly compliant to him like he wanted you to be, especially now that you may have just slipped up and let out a personal fact about him.
âExactly,â he continues, his thrusts toning down in speed, but not intensityâ he pulls out to the tip with every thrust, only to slam back into you and have you jolt forward from the harshness of his pace; the vibrator that was once relentless on your clit is now hovering mere centimeters from you, taunting you as all stimulation becomes insignificant to what it was before.
âMaybe, if youâre good for me, Iâll let you come,â he begins, watching the way you can only nod eagerly against the sheets, your hands struggling against your cuffsâ heâs holding your hand at the sight, fingers interlocking as he watches you grip onto his hand with both of yours tightly.
âWill you be good for me? Are you gonna listen to whatever the fuck I ask you to do?â he says, his voice hardening at the end as he looks at you expectantlyâ a second passes before youâre nodding again.Â
âMy viewers have been so patient with you. The only reason you got all this was because they wanted itâ if it were up to me, I wouldâve dumped my load in you already and left.âÂ
Thatâs a lieâ the biggest fucking lie Beomgyu has ever told, knowing damn well that he wouldâve done all this and more to you any day, entirely unprovoked. But he knows his viewers love it, and so do you, because your cunt squeezes him so tightly heâs afraid he might just come early.Â
âArenât you grateful they loved you so much? Hmm?â youâre barely registering his words anymore. But youâre nodding nonetheless, your thighs beginning to shake from the sheer pleasure of feeling Beomgyu rut into your cunt throughout all this.Â
âTell them thank you,â he says sweetly, not giving you enough time to speak before heâs back to fucking you wildly; his pace picking up, aiming for that specific spot that leaves you dumb and drooly as he places the vibrator back on your clitâ any chances of sounding sane are thrown out the window as he begins tugging on your cuffs, bouncing you back against him as the wet sounds of his thrusts ring out through the room.Â
âDid you hear meâ?â he asks, landing a smack to your ass before heâs soothing the area, slowing down so he can smack you again, âI said say thank you. Do you think youâre above us, pretty?â
Your first attempt to speak is a garbled mess.
âCome on, I know you can do better than that. Orâ do you just wanna be a cute little cumdump for meâ? Ah, let me use you every time I stream⊠donât need any fucking toys when I have my pretty doll for meâ rightâ?â His own sentences are becoming more incoherent the longer he fucks you, addicted to the way your pussy practically sucks him in deeper in response.Â
âTry again,â he growls, feeling his own orgasm approaching slowly, âshow me youâre not aâ shit, a fucking brat, and maybe Iâll let you⊠ugh, let you come.â
Beomgyu swore he got rid of his habit of rambling like this long ago. But, you seem to be able to bring it out of him, his calm and collected speeches crumbling like paper in his mind as he takes in the way both your arousals are smeared over skin and dripping down your thighs, forming a ring around Beomgyuâs cock as he feels his resolve beginning to crumbleâ he begins to fuck you carelessly, not able to think about anything else but reaching his high as he waits for your response.
âMmhâ! ugh⊠fuckâŠâ your voice is increasing in volume, the shy person from before long gone as you begin to chase your orgasm, much too afraid to lose it as you try to form a single, coherent thought.
âThankâŠ. thank youâŠâ you whine out, but itâs all too slurred and quiet and pathetic to Beomgyu as he growls out a sharp what? His hand pressing down on the small of your back as he glues your hands to your skin, forced to take the way he fucks you as you moan out uncontrollably.
âThank you..! Thank you thank you, oh, fuckâ!â holy shit, youâre full on crying right now, reduced to nothing but a mess of moans and tears as you ramble on repeatedly, only able to remember those limited words as you feel Beomgyu come inside youâ warm and deep, stilling for just a moment before heâs back to fucking you, his own moans becoming much more needy at the feeling of overstimulation.Â
âThank you thank you thank youuuu, fuck, fuck fuck mmhâ!â you feel stupid. Youâve definitely been fucked stupid, moaning out those stupid thank youâs like a prayer as you feel yourself slumping completely, a boneless, gooey mess as you rely on Beomgyu to hold you up.
He continues to fuck into you slowly, even after youâve gone entirely still; he thinks you mightâve passed out, but itâs only for a minute before he sees you shifting again, burying your head into the mattress as he hears the distant sound of you sniffling.Â
Beomgyu feels concerned for a second, ready to check up on you and end the stream before youâre grabbing his hand again; then youâre clenching around him, mumbling his name so sweetly while you try to press yourself against him.
Youâre straight up gone, he realizes, stilling for a moment and waiting for you to use your safe wordâ but you donât, and he sees you peeking subtly at his monitor before youâre burying your face back into his sheets.
âYou got a new tip.â
The words are barely audible to him, but heâs quick to glance at it upon your request; he almost chokes as he sees the five-hundred dollars that have been sent to him, his eyes reading over the request a few times before heâs looking back at you.
Could you try to make her squirt ?
âItâs five hundred dollars,â you mutter, and all Beomgyu can do is let out a bewildered laugh, leaning down to place a kiss on your shoulder before heâs whispering in your ear if youâre okay to continueâ the small nod you give him is enough to have his cock hardening inside you.Â
Fuck, heâs gonna give you the aftercare of the century after this.Â
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Know that I am going to get pretty serious here, as this post is about Punkflower. I am going to talk about the age situation, the blatant racism ABOUT this ship, and to also talk about the ship itself*. There is also some talk about the shippers/non-shippers + Punkflower antis in general.
[*nothing negative! just like.. discussing it as a whole, because everybody needs to be aware of some important things. the shippers, non-shippers/people on neutral ground, AND the haters/antis.]
There is a BIG wall of text incoming, but all of it is organized to its very best at what I could do!! I first wrote this in docs, I did my best to make it not a whole chaotic mess to read through. It's a big post, but there's a lot of spacing and some text is coloured, so it will be very easy to read.
This is a very detailed and THROUGH post, so it is slightly recommended to read on computer for the best viewing experience.
[It's not needed as you can still just read on your phone/etc, I do want you lovely people to have the best viewing experience possible.]
There will be an expand button, so I will not clog your feed and the tags.
TDLR;
Dear punkflower shippers,
your prayers have been ANSWERED. DO NOT WORRY ABOUT SHIPPING PUNKFLOWER NOW đ
punkflower shippers, do not live in fear no more, for I am here now.
Sincerely,Â
tumblr user: godunforgiving
Edited Note (06/21); FYI, I am muting this! Read the edit change log at the end of this post for more information. If you have any concerns or inquiries regarding this post, do not hesitate and feel free to DM me!
punkflower talk/analysis(?) + talking about Hobieâs age
This entire post is a discussion of various things, of my own thoughts and opinions! Some of the talk is about the posts + comments I have seen other people say about this ship [mainly questioning and worried ones.] All of the pieces of information that I knew were scattered, so I wanted to gather all of what I could find, and put it in a singular post for those still worrying.
[Also where others can actually just refer to this post and just read thru here first, instead of having to spend a lot of time going through the Punkflower tag to desperately find info!]
I would have gotten this finished and posted days ago, but you know, usual IRL things slowed me down, and I had to spend my day in the ER yesterday, lol.. Iâm okay as of now! Just have to take it easy, but I really did want to finish writing my ass off with this post, since I know itâs important to me and for many others out there.
Take your time to read through this, and please absolutely feel free to add any of your input/extra knowledge/anything that I should add onto this post. DMs can be the best, or just through the comments can suffice, because I can and will edit anything into this post [that is accurate aka there is backed up evidence/sources to go along with it.] If you do want to see something added here, just tell me and I'll see if I can manage!
I genuinely hope that this post can be helpful to you, as it will be helpful for me!
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Please know that; I will directly quote from many people, as all of them will be credited properly by being mentioned down below and leaving their username (that is linked back) with their respective quotes, because their own pieces of text really helped build this post! I cannot thank each person enough.
Do not be a piece of shit and go after or âwitch huntâ any of them. Respect their own privacy and being.
users mentioned (IOOA): @comfortingnightmare, @luvvnobo, @ghostspider-isms, @saltylemonade13, @artisan-is-bored, @bellamer, @uglynavel, @peachypea0ny (fyi, site is not allowing me to tag), @crownecromancer, @raspberryjars, @spideyzpoolsp, @hamiltonforpowerpoint
[If you are one of the mentioned people, and you want yourself to be removed or become anonymous, please let me know ASAP!]
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Notes:
If you are colourblind (some of the text is coloured fyi! colours used are blue, pink, and purple), or have difficulty reading text due to it being too small, or can't read the font, etc, please let me know! I can give you a google docs link of this entire post that is best suited for your needs. No, you will not be a burden to me. Your needs are very important, and I will want to assist with the best that I can do with that!
I, godunforgiving, am on a mix of a positive + neutral ground on the topic of shipping Punkflower. I absolutely adore the comic!Punkflower, and I am fond of ATSV!Punkflower with the way I view it. Reason why I said neutral, know that I am not against the ships by any means!! But I guess why I say that is because there wasnât a lot of canon media to consume [ATSV!Punkflower], and I want more [Also note that I have NOT seen the movie yet.] I donât usually âdoâ shipping when it comes to various franchises, I guess itâs mainly just not my thing? But I do know that Iâve come to like Punkflower.
I do not âdoâ discourses, nor do I intend to actively join them! This is my first time doing something like this / this being my first âdiscourseâ, yet I hope for it to be my last. I made this post with the pure intention to help the Punkflower shippers. Do know that!! I know that many people do not like the topic of discourses, but this one and the problems Iâve seen revolving around Punkflower, I just have to say something. Bc idk if anybody else is going to [with the way I did this post], considering the mess that occurred days ago, but someone has to and has to do it properly.
I am autistic, so I may process words + information differently, or even âincorrectlyâ. So if a sentence doesnât make sense, due to perhaps my misuse of grammar, etc, please do not hesitate to ask/reach out, and I can do my best to re-explain it to you.
Negative comments [and comments directly to this post where the person is actually spreading misinfo], will be deleted. Know that if you decide that you disagree with this post, then okay! I am not bothering you, just as I hope that you will revert to ignoring me, instead of hating on me. Please have the common decency to just be kind or even donât say anything at all, and carry on with your day.
If you have any concerns regarding this post, do not hesitate to reach out to me.
this post was originally inspired by a friend, then originally created for @feuille-morte, but it is finished for the rest of the punkflower fans, ily all. take care of yourselves!! anything for these cute silly little guys ok (and the entire punkflower nation)
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letâs get started with an introduction.
âwhat is Punkflower?â
Punkflower is a slash [aka queer] relationship between two black male teenagers, Hobie Brown and Miles Morales. Usually, it is perceived a romantic relationship, as some other people only see the pairing as a platonic duo and such. I do not know more forms of Punkflower, but I will use the 'main' two forms in this post. Comic![SG!]Punkflower [SG is Spider-Geddon, a comic series first released on Sept 2018], and Across the Spider-Verse aka ATSV!Punkflower.
Think of it as the same ships with the same characters, but in different fonts.
Comic!SG!Punkflower has existed for nearly 5 years now, likely first existing sometime in late 2018 to early-mid 2019. Both Miles and Hobie are very close in age in the comics, at around 16 to 17 years old. Away from Spider-Geddon(?), but still on the topic of comics, Hobie is still 16-17 in the comics.
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âpeople are saying Punkflower is a problematic ship!â
The main [and probably only] source of this misinformation, is from a clip that was cropped to be posted with the intention of spreading heavy misinformation (We will get into that next.) So, as far as I am aware, and know; Punkflower antis are throwing around p/do allegations, because they hate the ship and they are outraged with people enjoying it. This hate is clearly rooted with racism, and homophobia. So, no, Punkflower is not a minor x adult ship!
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âthe interview talk, what happened, and what is actually real?â
If youâve watched the interview, you can easily see that they were talking about the brainstorming process of developing Hobie's early ideas for his character. A director mentioned that in the early concept stage, Hobie was originally going to be 19-20 [This wasnât even our Hobie, but Prowler Hobie.]
A person cut a very small clip of the mentioned interview, and uploaded it, a clip that was EXTREMELY out of context.Â
The uploader cut out the part explaining that Hobieâs âoriginalâ age had changed as his character was being developed.
So from this, and no context given, a lot of people were instantly quick to hate; since it was on purpose to make the entire ship, AND those who enjoyed the ship, look extremely bad. What happened was not okay, yet this disgusting behaviour is at an attempt to be justified [and those people are trying to justify literal racism and homophobia.]
â19-20 thing that the directors mentioned were Hobieâs early designs ideas but those eventually changed as his character changed. Even one of the directors said its up to interpretation plus even his VA was all hinty towards Gwen and hobie so honestly its up to you what his age is" - comfortingnightmare
As soon as the clip came out, I had started to see a number of people saying that, apparently, Hobie looked like he was in his 20s to his 30s** (while also throwing subtle/discreet hits towards the Punkflower ship), but this was after the clip came out.
**Literally saw someone on Tumblr say that he looked like 28, and trying to shut down the idea of Hobie being a teenager. Like be completely serious with me right now..
Things donât quite add up here. This was because of WHAT Hobie only looked like, and now it just has to be racially motivated, as there are no solid explanations or reasonings for their behaviour and disgust. Those people just look bad [as they should.]
So, no, Hobie is not 19-20. Another director had confirmed that Hobieâs age is UP TO INTERPRETATION.
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[TLDR; The interview got taken completely out of context from a clip that made people start throwing SERIOUS accusations left and right.. Since more people actually later found out that the clip was taken out of context [instead of doing research], the situation died down, but people are walking on eggshells now. The haters were being desperate likely because Punkflower is a black queer/mlm relationship, since there is no solid explanation for this hating.]
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âSo.. what can we interpret Hobieâs age as?â
That is where I come in! I have many reasons that can help you decide what Hobie's age is to you. And those many reasons are speculated on Hobie's age being 16-17, as many users already guess that Hobie's age is equivalent to a teenager's age. I also believe this idea, as there are many things that already support this thought process.
[But if you like.. (god, I hope nobody does) go through this list and conclude that Hobie is 18+ and continue to ship that Hobie and 15 yr old Miles (or any of the minors).. GTFOH.]
1. Hobie Brown in other media (Iâm talking about the comics for instance) is commonly shown for Hobie to be a teenager at either 16 or 17 years old.
âHobie is in fact labeled as âbadmouthed teenagerâ since 2014 and is 16-17 in the comics and that just because he doesnt have a confirmed/canonical age in ATSV, hes still in the age range of a teenager (16-18)" - luvvnobo
2. Topic of the spider-bite.Â
ATSV!Hobie is likely to be 16-17 years old (18 at the latest), meaning that he would have been bit at the ages of 13-15. So IF Hobie was bit 3 years ago / at 14 years old, then he would be 16-17.
Realistically, this really could have happened, considering Hobieâs living conditions! [aka what led to Hobie getting bit by a radioactive spider in the comics.] If he indeed gets bit at 14 years old (like how Miles and Gwen got bit at that age for example), then either 16 or 17 yrs old.
Again, with how he lived; if he got bit at 13 = 15-16 years old in crrnt events of ATSV. [If you donât know of Hobieâs conditions, in the comics Iâm pretty sure he, like, basically lived on the streets as a homeless teenager]
âDuring the "Spider-Verse" storyline, the Earth-138 version of Spider-Man is revealed to be Hobart Brown, originally operating as Spider-Punk. He is a homeless teenager who was transformed by a spider that was irradiated as part of President Norman Osborn's toxic waste dumping.â - Spider-Punk: Wikipedia
The topic of the bite / needing to know if Hobie was (x) age when he got bit, isnât very serious, as he is already grouped with 3 kids.
3. It would be unlikely (and also weird) for a four man crew to be 3/4 teenagers and 1 adult;
WHILE ALSO implying that the mentioned âadultâ and one of the mentioned teenagers couldâve had something going on. [Even if nothing really happened (keyword = implying), and how Pavitr treated it in that way, implies that Hobie isnât that much older than the three.] [I would have kept this reason combined with the Spider bite topic aka reason No.2, since itâs actually referenced off of pastelnightgaleâs post, just that this paragraph alone is solid enough as a separate reason.]
4. Hobieâs mannerisms.
Note, I havenât seen the movie, but I have seen many clips. From those clips, heâs definitely a teenager at least, it made me feel like Hobie was 16 or 17 years old. Iâve asked two of my brothers; they said that he definitely was their age [both being 17.]
âmy two cents on the age debate is like. hobie doesnât have the vibes of an adult even if his age is up to âinterpretationâ. like iâm eighteen and bro has definitely gotta be younger than that. he makes my âstupid younger siblingâ sense go haywire." - ghostspider-isms
5. If you look up âhow old is hobie brownâ
You will already see many people speculating that Hobie is likely to be around the same age range as Miles and Gwen [if not a bit older.]
Again, Hobie is already 16-17 years old in the comics.Â
âin the spiderverse, we have seen that it is common for most spiders (gwen and miles specifically) to get bitten around 14. hobie states heâs been spider-man for three years, meaning heâs most likely 16-17." - artisan-is-bored
6. âLike if Hobie is really 19+ then why is it only a problem with Punkflower?? Wouldnât the whole love triangle thing be a problem????" - saltylemonade13
Yes. It would be a SERIOUS problem. It also would make the other ships [Chaipunk, others with minors in them] very problematic and illegal ships. But Hobie isn't 18+.
7. Ageing down process happening to various characters in Spider Verse, and Hobie non affected?
If Gwen and the other spiders are aged down in Spiderverse, then it doesnât make sense that Hobie was not aged down like the others.
8. Hobie literally hangs out around teenagers.
If an adult is constantly hanging out with other children, then that obviously would be the first problem. I wouldnât really need to keep talking any more about this one. Because if a 19-20 year old was spending a majority of his time around young teenagers, ages ranging 15 through 17, and not really with anybody else his age or above, then yes, thatâs already weird.
âitâs also implied that miles is jealous of gwen and hobie. why would the directors make a key plot point of the story be that hobie is a grown ass man hanging out with a bunch of teenagers? and that he might have a thing with one of them???" - artisan-is-bored
9. Genetics do not matter within age.
This is one of my most common quotes by now. Hobie is indeed very tall at almost 6 ft, yes. No, it does not mean that he is above 18+ years old. Hobie can be over 6 ft tall and still be 16-17 years old.
I have seen so many teenagers at drastically different heights, but still be the same age. Many of them being over 6 ft [180 cm], and still being in my age range, and having met a 5â10â 8th grader [aka 13 yrs old] years ago. Both of my previously-mentioned brothers are 6 ft and over 6 ft, yet they are only 17.
âpeople can look one age and be another." - artisan-is-bored
âhobieâs description as a character. hobie is a foul mouthed TEENAGER. that has been his description for the past five years." - artisan-is-bored
10. âhow do i tell them Punkflower has been a thing since 2018 or 2019 and they have interacted in the comics (they are close in age)" - luvvnobo
11. âHe has to be an adult, because he goes to pubs!!â Letâs be absolutely HONEST here.
âdude is BFFâs with the Riri of his universe, she can probably whip up a fake ID in no time and even if Riri isnât in the Spiderverse, he still gets around and knows people. heâs definitely cool with someone who makes fake IDâs." - bellamer
What bellamer said. To add onto this, a pub is different from a BAR as well.
If you look up âwhat is a pub vs barâ your first result will be this.
To also add, all bars in England arenât considered pubs.
âIf youâre 16 or under, you may be able to go to a pub (or premises primarily used to sell alcohol) if youâre accompanied by an adult. However, this isnât always the case. It can also depend on the specific conditions for that premises. Itâs illegal to give alcohol to children under 5." From the official GOV of the UK website
But literally, letâs be honest here, Hobie would already know at least one person who will help him get in a pub, if he cannot do so himself. If Hobie is constantly going to pubs, then that does not mean he is getting drinks 24/7 when he is there, unless stated otherwise. Pubs focus on serving food and to give drinks [upon request] to go along with the meal.
Before 1995, children under the age of 14 were NOT allowed in pubs in England and Wales. And Hobie is definitely by no means 14. He is likely 16, or 17. He can already drink, with adult supervision, at 16 in pubs. But we know that Hobie is no law-abiding Spider-man.
12. âHobie wouldnât be able to own his own place!â
âitâs a key part of hobieâs comic backstory that he used to be homeless. once again, the breaking the law point still stands. wouldnât be surprised if hobie bought an apartment with a fake ID, was squatting, or was staying in some sort equivalent of the community center that he used as his main groupâs operation headquarters in the comics.â - artisan-is-bored
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I do not think that another director/anybody who worked on the movie will come out and say that Hobie is actually 18+ at this point. I CAN be wrong in the future, but right now, he is not, and there are my reasons for why I strongly agree with the idea of Hobie being a teenager.
ALTHOUGH, even IF a director comes out and says that ATSV!Hobie is actually 18+, obviously all of the ATSV!ships with him and the other minors should STOP RIGHT NOW. But as of now [06/13/23 (when I first wrote this)], and from what we already know, I do not see anything wrong with ATSV!Punkflower and my views.
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The racism revolving Punkflower is disgusting.
Iâve seen a lot of people bashing Punkflower when the whole misinfo-hobie-being-19/20-situation occurred, but ONLY with Punkflower [from what Iâve seen.] I didnât see any of this happening to the other ships that Hobie is in / shipped with Gwen, and Pavitr.
I have not seen any, quite literally nobody, complaining about any other ship that isnât Punkflower, and itâs insanely overwhelming and confusing?? People donât complain when it comes to Hobie x Gwen, but if itâs with two queer black boys? Huge problem all of a sudden.
âLove how when it was Hobie and Gwen no one batted an eye but as soon as people started shipping two black males together all of a sudden everyoneâs disgusted and outragedâ - uglynavel
ânone of yâall had a problem w gwen and hobie, but when hobie started getting shipped with miles and pav? yâall got pissed. get your racist and homophobic head out of your ass. even if hobie IS an adult in the movie, that still doesnât mean that shipping him with miles in the comics suddenly isnât valid. newsflash, gwen is MUCH OLDER than hobie in his universe.â - artisan-is-bored
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Other quotes, that I wanted to point out, but I didnât sort them into a spot;
âThere are a lot more weird problems in the ATSV fandom, yet people are worried about Flowerpunk and whether Hobie is of age, or not. Those problems are full on grown ass people sexualizing Miles, Gwen, and likely more. Thereâs already stuff about Peter B. and Miles ship, and THAT is an active problem on hand. More people need to worry about all of that instead of a guy who has an up-to-interpretation age (but is strongly, likely, a 16-17 year old if not an adult.)â - peachypea0ny
âI canât even enjoy comic versions of punkflower without me being called a pedo or having multiple fucking comments telling me over and over that punkflower is a proship.â - uglynavel
âIâm sorry itâs just really not fucking fair what In THE ACTUAL MOVIE it can imply something between Gwen and Hobie but the SECOND people started shipping two black boys together then it became a huge fucking problem, hereâs the thing if Hobie is actually older and they never say that in the movie but imply something to the audience that him and a sixteen year old girl could possibly have something between them THEN THATS GROSS I DONT CARE HOW GOOD THE MOVIE IS! But Hobie is always, in other crossovers and his comics he is around 16, he has met Miles before in canon the shipâs not new, it was just small.â - crownecromancer (Edited to make sense, by me, godunforgiving.)
âpunkflower is originally a comic ship, its been around for ages before atsv, its normal for shippers to crossover into different areas where the same characters are. he doesnt have an age on his wiki and why would he be said to have a love triangle with gwen if he WAS 19/20, idk why ppl have such a problem with punkflower but not with hobie and gwen??â - raspberryjars
âthis is what happens when you believe in misinformation on the internet. no, there is no age gap, because hobie does not even have a canon age. if you watch the interview, instead of 10 seconds of it, he says it was early concepts of hobie. another director has confirmed his age is up to interpretation.. so. yall rlly need to stop with this, its weird asl. this whole thing was rooted in racism and homophobia, stop spreading misinformation I BEG.â - spideyzpoolsp
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Another disclaimer/notice;
PLEASE, PLEASE STOP BELIEVING IN EVERYTHING THAT YOU SEE!! EVEN IN TIKTOK OR TUMBLR!
IF itâs a piece of information that could be misinformation revolving around Punkflower or Hobie Brown, or anything, DO find out if it is real or fake asap!
Iâm using a method that I remember from my elementary school that was constantly talked about [canât believe Iâd bring it up in a post about a ship years later], however it really does pay out and work anywhere else tbh. The âStop, Think, Act methodâ.
STOP = Pause, if it distresses you; then take a breath to calm down, avoid doing anything on impulse aka don't do anything without thinking carefully beforehand.
THINK = Instead of the âwhat is the problem, what are the options, best path forward?â in the method itself, we will reuse this but change stuff up that can apply directly to this post. So after stopping and calming down, we will think carefully and review what we already KNOW. If itâs where the piece of information is easily seen/known as misinfo, then you are good. If the piece of misinfo is affecting something that we already know, then we move onto the next step.
ACT = âProceed with the best option. Act carefully, and revise if needed.â The best option forward from thinking, is to do research, and make sure that it is actually real, and not misinformation with lies laced within. IF it is indeed misinformation, then it is the best to alert others, with proof.
If you are thinking âBut why even mention that method??â The best example to use this method is with the age discourse blowup. A LOT of people believed in the misinformation very, very fast. What shouldâve happened is that the mentioned method shouldâve occurred early, to help prevent most of the freak out and its damages. But many users may not have thought of that, or even know the method, so it is okay. At least it calmed down a lot as of now, just that people are now likely afraid.
[Note; I am NOT blaming anybody!! I also freaked out a bit too, but I stuck to what I already knew, until I found more information. At first I heard âHobie is 19-20!!!!â I figured that it mustâve been misinfo through what I already knew, because adding all of what I knew and this uproar of info, it just didnât add up from what I alrd knew. but I still researched and did my homework!! Just that more people should naturally second-guess things that they are suspicious of and also be aware of that method and to apply it online, as it is already useful in real life!]
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Wrapping this post up, finally.
Itâs sad to see different Punkflower fans fight each other. But itâs also outrageous and annoying to see the plat!Punkflower shippers, who see Miles and Hobie strictly in a brotherly relationship, to throw the term â!ncest / pseudo-!ncestâ against the romantical Punkflower shippers.. Like holy shit, that doesnât make you any better. Can people, please, stop throwing serious accusations against other people so nonchalantly?
These accusations are SO serious and life changing, even if it's pointed at the wrong person. But people are just too ignorant to realize that unfortunately.
âYou see him (Hobie) as 19/20 whoâs a big brother to the other spiders? Cool! You see him as 16/17 rebel teen amazing!â - hamiltonforpowerpoint
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End post.
Reblogs, likes, and comments of your own opinions of this post are so welcome!
Again, ily all and take care of yourselves!!
and again, if anything you think that should be added onto the post, let me know! have a great day everybody
A friend asked whatâs up with the discourse, asked me to make a post, after hours of research - I absolutely fucking DELIVERED. Love you guys.
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Edit #1 (06/15); had to reformat some things since it just looked broken to me! Using the editor on mobile is a PAIN.. 0/10.
Edit #2 (06/16); an edit update! I rewrote some things (to hope to make the post sound more better), added some stuff in the notes section and some throughout the post itself, updated the crediting so the quotes used are credited and linked back to hell!!!! bc crediting others is awesome! and the post is also def over 4.2k words lol
Edit #3 (06/17); An anon told me that I was âmisusingâ the 'proship' term, so I edited the post. Proshitters can go to hell for all I care. To clarify, I am talking about problematic shippers.
Edit #4 (06/19); oh my god 600+ notes?? i hope all of you are having an EXCELLENT month okay.. i love you guys <3 /plat
Edit #5 (06/21); I am muting this! I saw some people reply to this post, but I just do not have the ability to respond to them (Selective mutism), I did write âdraftsâ to them, but I do not feel like polishing it and responding. Just busy with other things, honestly! I may end up responding some time later, so yeah. If you have any concerns or inquiries regarding this post, do not hesitate and feel free to DM me!
Every once a few weeks I may check up on this post as well, until I stop altogether.
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AITA for telling my her ex I read her poetry?
I (F19) dated my ex (F18, Lacy) for about 9 months. I broke up with her because she had a lot of issues I just didn't know how to deal with and I also fell in love with my best friend (NB19, Alex, he/his pronouns), so I decided it was the best course of action. I broke up with Lacy on January of 2023 and started dating Alex in February.
Around this time, I found an Instagram account that posted poetry. There was nothing that could identify the author, but the poetry was really good so I started to follow them. With time, however, the poems started to look... familiar. Not the writing style, but some situations on them, for example: one of them said something like "your brother's night sky truck that took us to the stars" (my older brother has a dark blue truck he would lend me so I could take Lacy on dates) and another said "that old guitar you had that you never learned to play like you played me" (I have an old guitar I inherited from my father and I indeed never learned how to play it). These are only two examples, but I found many others that convinced me that account belonged to Lacy.
I know I should have left it alone the second I realized the account belonged to her, but it was so flattering to see she wrote all of that about me. I didn't tell anyone, not my friends or Alex, but I kept following the account and reading Lacy's poetry. I think my feelings for her started to rekindle after that, because no one ever wrote about me like that and, as months passed, she kept writing about me. She never got over me.
My relationship with Alex also started to have problems during this time. He got a job at an ice cream parlour and he started a D&D campain with his friends, which means we started to spend less and less time together. He didn't seem to be as interested in me as he was during our first months of relationship, and I feel like he's taking me for granted. Lately, more specifically since December, we started to fight a lot over small things too.
We went to a New Year's party one of our friends was hosting and Lacy was there too. That enough was reason for Alex to start complaining, since he has a lot of feelings of jealousy regarding her. We ended up having a fight because he thought I knew she'd be there, which I didn't, and he went to stay with our friends, avoiding me the whole night.
It was New Year's eve and I had just fought with my partner, who was monopolizing all of our friends and leaving me by myself, so I started to drink. I know that wasn't a good idea, but I was angry and frustrated and I thought that would help. It didn't, I just got super drunk.
Since my filter disappears when I'm drunk, I went after Lacy and told her her poetry was really good. At first she was confused, so I said I found her poetry account and her poems were amazing, and I was flattered she still thought about me like that, because I didn't think anyone else ever saw me in such a beautiful way.
After that, the panic in her eyes became clear. She started to cry, not full on sobbing but some tears rolled down her face and she didn't answer me, just left. Alex saw the interaction and came to ask me what happened. I ended up telling him about Lacy's poetry account, we fought again and I decided to go home. In that same night, I searched for the poetry account and it was deleted.
This whole situation didn't leave my head since it happened and I don't know what to think. Alex has also been avoiding me and I don't understand why everyone seems to be against me. Lacy blocked me everywhere and I'm beginning to think leaving her for Alex was a huge mistake. It was also never my intention to make Lacy feel like she had to delete her account.
AITA for telling her I knew about the poetry account?
What are these acronyms?
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the day/night we met ; henry cavill
PAIRING â Henry Cavill x Reader (fem)
SUMMARY â On your wedding day, your Maid of Honor prepares a special gift to which you and Henry have distinct responses.
WORDS â 1,8k
TW â nothing really just a lot of fluff, emotions (I cried a bit writing it), Henry in a suit đ.
A/N â Hi! I'm not dead, just quit the most toxic job ever so I'm getting back here lol Here's a short but very dear fic to me that I wrote last year but never posted. I'm so happy to finally post this! This story has been in my head for two years now and it came out better than I thought.
Song insp.: Eu Me Lembro by Clarice FalcĂŁo feat. Silva
â đžđđđđđđđđđ
âALRIGHT,â YOUR MAID OF HONOR smiles, carefully wiping her tears with a napkin. âAfter making you cry and potentially ruining some makeup,â The room laughs. âIâve prepared something different to end this on a high note.â
This is one of the dearest moments of your life: your wedding. Youâre marrying your soulmate. Your heart could burst with love and happiness whenever.
Everythingâs perfect, from your dress to the lights of the venue. Henry â your newly proclaimed spouse â has an arm around you as you listen to your family and friends' speeches about you and your love.
You found it strange when your Maid of Honor wasnât the first to speak, but it seems she has a reason for it. Immediately, you feel anxious, but in a good way.
âWhen these two told me they were getting married, I knew I wanted to do something special for them,â Your best friend starts. âI just didnât know what, but I knew it had to be something remarkable, something for them to look back and have a good laugh,â She looks at the both of you with tears in her eyes, chuckling.
You also wipe tears off your eyes, smiling back at her, and Henry tightens his embrace around you.
âSo I sat down with these two, separately, and started to ask a few questions,â She smiles and wiggles her eyebrows, which is an expression you know very well.
âOh my,â You think. âWhat is she up to?â
âThings started to get really interesting from the start, and I decided to make a video out of it,â Your best friend winks at you. âWithout further ado, enjoy it.â
With a pleasant smile, she sits down. The attention turns to the screens set around the venue.
You remember sitting with your Maid of Honor to chat about your relationship. You didnât really understand why she wanted to do that. However, it always has been effortless talking about Henry, and you brushed it off as having something to do with the wedding.
You recall having a great time answering her questions â drinks might have been involved beforehand, but the whole process was surprisingly professional.
Your friendâs face pops up on the screen as she introduces herself. âIn this little video, I wanted to talk about our lovely coupleâs amazing and fun story, especially the day they met,â She explains. âNewlyweds, I love you very much, and I hope you like this little something I put together for you.â
She blows a kiss and waves. Then in fancy lettering, âA love storyâ is scribbled on the top-left corner of the screen, and âA story of loveâ on the bottom right corner. You wonder why both phrases â which convey the same thing â are on the video, but the thought quickly slips your mind when your smiling face appears on the screen.
âState your name and occupation, please,â Your friend prompts on the video, but sheâs out of the shot.
You roll your eyes amusedly. âWhatâs this, a trial? Iâm innocent, your honor!â You giggle, making everybody at the venue laugh.
You answer the question anyway, and your name also appears written on the video.
âFor the purpose of⊠this, Iâm the bride?â It sounds like a question, and you make a face, unsure of yourself.
She never explained what the video was for, in your defense.
Right after you, Henry appears. âIâm Henry, and I am the lucky groom,â He smiles brightly, looking as handsome as always.
âSo, tell me, how did you meet Henry?â Your friend asks, and your smile is instant as you remember that exact day as if it was yesterday. âHow did you meet Y/N?â She asks him in the next scene, and his reaction is the same.
âI was hosting a brunch,â You start, your eyes unfocused as the vivid memory plays in your mind. âAnd it was morning when Henry arrived.â
When he reapers, you can tell itâll cut back and forth between you. âI was throwing a party, and she was the one that came around. I think it was three in the afternoon,â Henry replies, quite differently from you.
You scoff mockingly, looking at him by your side. He chuckles, brushing it off with a shoulder tic before you turn back to the screen.
âAnd I said: âHi, come on in, make yourself at home,â You know, something of the sorts,â You shrug off.
Your betrothed chuckles in the video, scratching his chin in thought. âI was the one that said hello, but she didnât hear.â
His comment makes the venue erupt in laughter. You meet Henryâs loving gaze again and squeeze his hand, making him bring yours up to press a kiss on your knuckles.
If your shared story had different and entertaining versions until now, itâd just get better!
After being asked about first impressions of one another, he replies: âShe thought I was hilarious,â He says with such confidence that is endearing.
In your turn, you laugh and cover your mouth as if what you are about to say itâs an embarrassing secret.
âOh my god, he wouldnât stop talking! Like a lot!â You emphasize. âAnd I pretended to laugh the entire time,â You say very sheepishly before throwing your head back in laughter again. âThatâs terrible. I feel like I need to apologize,â You add after your fit.
âOh, I just remembered something,â He suddenly announces, and his smile is wide as the memory toy around in his head. âHer blouse was inside out,â He chuckles, eyes focused on a spot. âSheâs so adorable and such a goof, isnât she?â He looks back at the camera.
âHe loved the way I was dressed,â You giggle, visibly shivering as you physically remember the feeling of him truly looking at you for the first time.
Your friend asks another question, changing the subject slightly, but Henry shakes his head.
âYeah, the party was great! Everybody was having a good time, but I only remember searching for her when she wasnât near me. Trying to get another look, you know?â He says.
In turn, you scoff. âNo one was dancing! I donât remember who was taking care of the music, but it was terrible!â Your genuine response makes the room fills with laughter another time. âAt least everyone had a drink in hand and ate something.â
âOh, yes. The food was wonderful. Everything homemade,â Your partner assures with a proud nod naively.
âI bought everything off Tesco,â You rushedly confess, throwing your head back in laughter again.
Back to the present moment, youâre wiping the new tears from the corners of your eyes due to laughter. You love the good energy around the room as your guests and yourself enjoy the video your Maid of Honor made.
Now you understand both phases in the beginning, and although you and Henry have very distinct versions of the day you met, you love both of them and the feelings they bring you.
However, something changes in the next second of the video. For the first time, on a split-screen, you two appear together.
âWhen I saw him, I knew it (When I saw her, I knew it),â You both say simultaneously. âShe (He) was the person Iâd spend the rest of my life with,â You continue.
Glancing at him, youâre surprised to see heâs already looking at you. Then you exchange a knowing look. It seems like you got on the same page in this part of the video.
âAnd thatâs how I realized that life put him (her) in my life,â You say in unison. âOn that Tuesday (Thursday) of September (December),â Your responses overlap with each other, drawing amused reactions from people.
âThatâs why I remember everything, of every second,â Both of you state, which is downright ironic at this point. âAsk me anything that I remember.â
âI remember,â You proudly declare with a grin but, this time, by yourself.
And so does Henry. âI remember,â He nods with a beam.
The video ends there, and the room erupts in applause, whistles, and hollered praises.
Words couldnât describe the dazzling feelings youâre experiencing if you wanted to. You canât be more grateful to your friend for this treat either. And, of course, the man you now get to call your husband.
The spotlight of attention returns to you as youâre exchanging the most enamored gaze ever. Henry leans in and presses his lips to your forehead, making you close your eyes. Slowly, you allow all those remarkable sensations to wash over you.
When you reopen your eyes, you smile at him before looking at your Maid of Honor. âThank you so much for this extremely thoughtful gift. We both loved it a lot.â
Henry confirms with a head gesture.
âWords wonât do justice to how much youâre special to me. Iâm just so grateful I get to share such a special and meaningful moment of my life, like this one, with you,â Your voice cracks at the end, and you smile, trying to hold your tears at bay as you can see sheâs doing the same. âSo I canât thank you enough.â
As the room gets loud with another round of applause and cheers, she smiles, mouthing an âI love you tooâ to you. Wiping your tears carefully one more time, you chuckle.
âAlthough, I only have one question,â You announce, making the room pipe down. âWas my blouse really inside out?â You giggle as you look back at Henry.
Your husband starts to laugh. âYeah,â He confirms bashfully. âYeah, it was,â He nods as your guests join you in laughter.
âOh, God. I canât believe it,â You shake your head in embarrassment. âI also would like to point out that my husband clearly has a lot of experience with interviews,â You remark, addressing the room. âI feel kinda bad after saying I was pretending to laugh at his jokes when heâs all loving and caring,â You rejoin your friends and family in fun.
âI do tell bad jokes,â Henry concedes in your defense. âI love how genuine you are, and youâre loving and caring to me, too,â You nearly melt at his famous Hollywood-star smile.
The sound of âawwâsâ fills the room. âYou see what Iâm dealing with?â You joke, making everybody chuckle.
You give him a chaste but affectionate peck on the lips. Your wedding coordinator decides itâs time for the first dance to open the floor to make your guests burn some energy after the buffet.
And so, feeling the most secure and happy while pressed against your husbandâs chest with his arms around you, you swing slowly. By sharing the same air, the same space, and the same feelings, you canât think of anything better.
It all started on a Tuesday morning in September for you. But for him, it was a Thursday afternoon in December. Now, it is a Saturday evening in November that youâll never forget.
You will remember. Everything. Of every second.
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Feel free to ignore this, but I saw you want Miguel requests soooo.
Platonic Miguel x teen spider reader. Preferably gn. And like, he sees his daughter in the reader or smth, idk how to explain it, but I think it would be cute to see it
ONGOSH THANK YOU I absolutely love this<33 I wrote this on my phone but Im honestly so hyped up I love father figure!miguel. I hope you donât mind but Iâm doing this in the form of headcanons.
Miguel OâHara x teen!spider!Reader
-okay so your obviously one of the only people Miguel loves tolerates.
-your universe isnât âhomeâ to you, Miguel is. Heâs like the father you never had and at first, the both of you absolutely detested one and other. In fact, Jessica was the one who convinced him to recruit you, way before Gwen or even Peter came into the picture.
-at first, he was stand-offish and a total dickhead to you, but slowly warmed up and began to humour you. Heâd smirk at your horrible jokes and pretend to roll his eyes when you teased him.
-in fact, when you first laughed your ass off at one of his remarks, something in him knew that heâd do anything to protect you.
-he already lost one daughter, he wasnât losing you.
-In all honesty, your relationship is very similar to Joel and Ellie from the Last of Us.
-you have inside jokes that even Lyla doesnât understand, and sheâs an AI.
-It takes all his strength to not snort when you make faces behind someoneâs back, he knows you do it to make him laugh.
-he gives you tips on how to take care of yourself.
-a whole bottle of baby powder suddenly appears in your room in spider society. He says he knows nothing.
-lyla shows you the camera footage of him placing it on your bedside table.
-heâs close to tears when you specially make him empanadas. Heâd been in a bad mood and when he went to his desk, there was a plate of empanadas with a post it note from you.
- âdont waste them I spent like two hoursmaking them for youâ
-he scarfs them down of course.
-like all fathers, he can be strict sometimes, especially because youâre a kid. He doesnât want you getting hurt. If youâre hurt he helps patch you up himself.
-âyou fucking crazy? What were you thinking, trying to catch a car instead of dodging it?â
-your arguments are shushed by him shoving a spoon of soup into your mouth.
-âdonât waste it.â He says, âI spent some time making it while you were asleep.â
-he canât pinpoint an exact moment from when he started seeing you as his daughter, but itâs probably from the time he got super protective around hobie.
-ainât no kid coming near his daughter.
-almost snarls when hobie jokingly flirts with you.
-he subtly pushes hobie away when the guy walks behind you.
-youâre the only person other than lyla who can snark him and get away with it without an insult being jabbed at you.
-heâs hugged you a total of two times.
-the first was when you almost died, the second was when he almost died and you freaked out.
-youâd already lost your family, you could not lose him too.
âMiguel, get up.â You tearfully say to his sleeping form, âI canât do this without you.â
-when heâd stirred, the first thing he saw was your shocked face and then you tackled him.
-he loves you. Like, a whole lot.
-he smiles at you when you walk around in his office, rambling about random stuff. Heâs glad that youâre comfortable enough around him to stop masking your personality.
-his jokes are LAME. Like dad jokes are his jam and theyâre just so bad.
-âwhy do sharks live in salt water? because pepper water makes them sneeze.â âMiguel PLEASE-â
-did I mention heâd probably die for you? Like fuck the universe(s) heâs not losing his baby daughter again.
-OOO IMAGINE THE BOTH OF YOU AS DRACULA AND MAVIS
-itâs weird but itâs funny.
-Gwen loses her shit when she sees you sitting next to him with your head on his shoulder.
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HATE YOU LOVINGLY | LN4 (pt2)
( you hate him just as he hates you. but maybe it's just his way to show he fell hard for you. )
warning : jealousy, slight angst, fluff
note : i spent my whole evening writing this but it's worth it. also wrote once again more than 5k words i surprised myself because even in french i don't write that much
word count : 5.1k
âł part 1
!! english is not my first language !!
this season's debut is tough for you. being a new f1 presenter is not as amazing as it looks. of course it's a wonderful job, you couldn't have dreamed better because it's the job you so wanted. you're very passionate about it, but it requires a lot of work and to be honest you're feeling a bit tired since some weeks now.
but the thing that disturbs you and makes you really tense is when you interview lando. actually just lando. of course you still don't like him, but you're sure you don't hate him anymore. you thought you would never say this but you definitely started to appreciate him. because of the post race interviews.
you mostly interview the mclaren drivers. it means that you can share some time with your best friend oscar but it also means you have to face lando. and when it happens it's the most stressful and strained moment. because you can't fully concentrate yourself on the questions.
it's the way he looks at you with this intense gaze, which makes you burn inside of your body. his distracting look always finish to fall on your lips at one point of the interview. it makes you go crazy. he would stare a bit at them before looking you in the eyes like nothing happened.
but to revenge on him you would ask him the most tough questions. about the race, about qualifying. you somehow always manage to prick his weaknesses by asking questions whose answers are almost impossible to find. and he always scoff, he lets a laugh out because he perfectly understands what you always try to do.
and fans notice it. they notice the way you two interact on camera. they'd say both of you look like are going to murder each other with the difficult questions from you and the sassy comments and answers from lando. but if they really analyze the situations, they can caught and feel a link between you. a special link which connects you. they notice lando's wandering eyes on your lips and the way you look at him. and laugh at his jokes.
it seems like you try so hard to show everyone you hate each other but it ends up watching two fools being secretly in love.
but you're still sure lando hates you and he's thinking the same for you.
now the australian grand prix will take place this sunday, and today it is thursday. which means conferences and media duties. the mclaren media team has planned a new sort of video. they want to try different types of content for both the drivers this year. and they organized a video with lando and you as guests. the idea of the video is to make lando choose an outfit for you and you'll try it. it can be a good way to show mclaren's fans your relationship and also lando's style and taste.
"y/n will arrive in a few minutes" stephanie, who oversees media and PR functions for mclaren, informs lando that you'll be here soon. the curly haired just nods and fixes his hoodie's sleeve. his expression is impassive, nobody can't tell what emotion he's feeling right now. however, some of the members are aware of the complex relationship between you and lando so they profoundly hope the video will not be a mess.
you guys just need to cooperate and fake it, fake your emotions only for the video. because it is your jobs.
lando laughs with the makeup artist who is adjusting his makeup. he lifts up his eyes and then he sees you walk in the room. you smile and greet the staff, waving your hand to some acquaintances. and in this moment he daydreams. he stops himself on you. your smile, the way you act with people around you with the kindest words and purest actions. he's mesmerized by you. and he hates it.
you make everything so difficult for him. why do he constantly have this problem ? this need to keep an eye on you, to lay eyes on you at least once a day. to be sure you're present and if you're not then he's always questioning himself, he thinks about you. why he's so attracted by you ? he thinks that he always hated you, that he was sure that this curiosity he had for you at the beginning had turned into hatred. but ultimately maybe he was lying to himself.
he only wanted to protect himself from his lack of self-confidence from trying to approach you without any result, and he decided to bury his true feelings under a shell. he created this false illusion of hatred so as not to hurt his ego, not to remind him that he is completely in love with you. because deep down he always saw you as an inaccessible woman and he always wondered how a guy like him could say a word to a woman like you.
he was too insecure and you seemed to avoid and ignore him, so it hurt him because he wanted to exist in your eyes. and that's why he started to hate you. but this feeling of hatred is simply wrong. it's an excuse to hide his feelings towards you. but he realizes that. he doesn't deny it anymore, he knows how fucking bad he's in love with you.
"lando ? you're still with us ?" your voice rings in lando's ears and he comes back to reality. you're standing next to him, and the staff is ready to start the video. "yeah sorry. i'm ready" he says and gives you a decided look. stephanie checks everything. she adjusts the little details to make everything look perfect. but she frowns when her eyes fall on you. "can you please try to be more relaxed and act like you're actually like each other ?"
she walks quickly over you and put her hands on your shoulders "you need to be closer to him, the framing looks horrible on the camera" she says while moving your position. your feet walk by themselves and you're so close to lando now, your shoulders almost touch together. you have never been so close to him. you can even smell his cologne.
he looks a bit uncomfortable now, he shifts his position and clear his throat. he can also smell your perfume too and he's completely hypnotized by it. and by the closeness of your body. stephanie take a look on the camera and she thumbs up. "perfect !! now we can start the recording. please no noise!" she sits on her chair and gives you the signal.
you inhale deeply. it's going to be funny right ?
"hello everyone !! today we are here with the driver lando norris and we're going to play a little game together" you smile to the camera and then turn around to talk to the driver next to you. he does the same and when your looks meet, his heart starts to beat faster. you continue to speak and explain the game but he doesn't listen, he's stuck on your hand on his shoulder. you have never touch him before, because if you dare brush him you know he'll be so pissed off. and you either don't want to graze his skin.
but it's all for the work, so you have to do it and to obviously fake it.
lando doesn't want to show you and people that he's surprised by the touch and that he actually likes it. so to shield himself he keeps a straight face and glare at your hand before taking a step back. you would be lying if you said he hurts you with this sudden move. but what, you also need to fake your hatred towards him. so you react like nothing happened despite the way your heart pangs.
"so are you ready to choose me an outfit ?" you ask to the driver and he doesn't ever bother to look you in the eyes. "yes, i think i'll do a great job". you try to hold back a roll eyes and you smile while nodding. but stephanie claps and sighs "no it's so bad. i know you two can't barely stand each other but you guys need to grow up and understand that you need to work together. it looks like you're going to fight. please be serious and mature and make an effort to show that you are at least close"
you sigh and nod to agree with her because you know she's right. you can't act like this in front of the camera and millions of people. "we're sorry. we're going to fix this problem and do our best" "who "we"?" lando says and shoot a black look to you. you bite your cheek from the inside and roll your eyes. now you're getting annoyed. "shut your mouth and stop being stupid. do your job." you murmur to him with frowning brows.
"don't talk to me like that. we're not friends and we'll never be" he adds. he says that to look pissed off, but the truth is that he hopes you'll never be friends. because instead he hopes you'll be his girlfriend. "i ask no more" you scoff and you sound genuinely honest and sincere. which twist his heart and feelings. wouldnât he have said that ? now he starts regretting what he have said. do you really want him to remain your enemy?
he can't argue back because the recording is taking up again. the recording is going pleasantly well and it surprises the staff as much as you two. lando seems to choose with precision and care your outfit. he does his best to match the clothes and he picks up the best items. and it feels like he's doing it not on purpose, but sincerely. it feels like he truly wants to see you well dressed and it kinda disturbs you.
you go change yourself into the outfit. and it's really beautiful. the clothes match perfectly and you can't lie, he did a good job. you found yourself admiring your reflection in the mirror. you're wearing an outfit chosen by your enemy - no wait by the man you secretly love, and you like it a bit too much.
it's time for the outfit reveals. the camera still records and you're hidden behind a curtain. "okay lando are you ready to see the final result ?" you ask a bit excited about it. "yes show me" he only replies. you pull the curtain and lando's eyes immediately land on you. ohh.
wow. he stopped to breathe. he stopped to talk. is it legal to be this pretty? no because you're taking his breath away and it's not good at all. the outfit fits you perfectly, and he's even more proud because he was the one to choose it. but seriously, he sincerely thinks you look gorgeous that he doesn't even realize you were talking to him. "so how do i look ?" you ask with a smile.
he's flustered. he starts to blush so hard and he rapidly looks away. he tries to say something but he stutters so much over his words. you're making him loose all his senses. he doesn't even know how to talk anymore. "y-you look... i mean it looks good". he pulls himself together and names the outfit rather than you because he doesn't want to admit that you are incredibly beautiful.
"yes i agree with you, it definitely looks good" you reply and smile to him. but not a fake smile like you'd usually do. no, it's a sincere smile, the one smile he loves seeing. he blushes even more and he clear his throat. some staff members notice how lando looks destabilized by you and they laugh. he is unmasked. but you see he's starting to get embarrassed and you decide to end the video now.
"you were perfect, thanks for your hard work" stephanie says and the others members thanks you too. the record stops and you rush to go get changed. you don't even glance at lando, you just look like you can't wait to leave the room and the driver. and the curly haired feels a little disappointed. for the first time he really wanted to talk to you and say a few words to you.
he hesitates to follow you. it would be weird if he suddenly come and talk to you when you can't even look at each other properly.
but he doesn't care. he wants to be confident. he rushes to follow you and before you could walk away from him he grabs your wrist. your second touch. it gives him shivers. and you too because he notices how your skin reacted to the sudden touch. wait, do you feel the same as him ?
"what ?" your frown and glare at him. he removes his hand from your wrist and looks away. he wants to speak but his words are running away. why he's like that around you ? "huh... i just wanted to say that you are actually... really pretty in this outfit" he says and blushes so so hard. you stop yourself. are you dreaming ? is this even real ?
is it really lando ? it's not a false lando norris right ? you blink, and he can clearly tell you're surprised. like very surprised. which is stressful because he starts to regret what he have said. he is sure that you will take his compliment badly and that he will be able to go fuck himself. but no. it's not your reaction. "oh... thank you lando. i guess ?" you stutter a bit, you don't even know how to react at this point.
your reaction make him laugh softly and for the first time since you met, a positive interaction took place between you. it's like a dream, it can't be real. you thought you couldn't have a good talk with him. you genuinely thought you and him couldn't make it together. but it seems for once that you are able to do it.
"let me change myself now please" you say because you're too flustered to stay with him right now. it's kinda awkward though. "oh yes sorry" he only replies and walk away without anything else.
now this one was truly surprising. first you managed to work perfectly well together and then he complimented you ? something is off. he couldn't have change in a day no ? it's just so strange. but yet you don't complain. you're happy about your interactions today. because it finally seems that you both can now try to be more friends and to know how each other.
-
two months passed since that day. and surprisingly everything was getting better with lando. now you great each other every day, the post race interviews are definitely entertaining and you both enjoy them now. he's making jokes sometimes when he's around you and he's always excited to record new content with you. your relationship really improved these past months.
and lando is still so fucking in love with you. he fell even harder for you since you started to interact more with him. now he only has eyes for you, you're the only girl he thinks about, the only girl he wants so bad. and you feel the same too. your love for lando doubled and the only thing you wish for is to be with him. to be his girlfriend. just as he wants to be your boyfriend.
today you need to attend a gala. most of the drivers will be there and lot of your colleagues and others presenters will be there too. it's an important event so you need to dress well and of course you must attend it. you finish your hairstyle and spray perfume on your neck. you're ready.
you make it to the place and you're welcomed by a huge crowd of people and fans. a lot of them try to reach out the drivers. every drivers and presenters are on the huge red carpet. there are many cameras and journalists too. it is very vibrant, very lively. flash come from everywhere and you try to find faces you know. and then you find your best friend.
you rush to oscar. he spots you too and he walks towards you. "y/n ! you took a long time to come" he says and hugs you. you wrap your arms around him too and pull back after. "sorry, there was traffic" you reply. he looks good. he wears a suit with a tie and it looks perfect on him. because he's not the kind of man to pull out costume. so seeing the boy you grew up with in this outfit is shocking. it makes you wonder if his teammate is wearing the same as him ?
lando finishes his interview. he gives a small smile to the journalist and joins carlos and charles over there. he's scanning the crowd. he's looking around. he recognizes some f1 presenters and he wonders if you are here too. he wants to see you. he wants to talk to you. but the only person he sees is his old teammate daniel walking to the group of drivers.
"hello guys. how you all feeling ?" he asks and shows his best smile. "good. though i'm tired of these infinite interviews" charles jokes but the boys all know there's some kind of honesty about it. "long time not see" daniel says as he pats lando's shoulder. "c'mon man you played games with me this morning" he rolls his eyes but grin. daniel laughs and wink at him.
a gap settles between the two but it is filled by the voices of the ferrari drivers. and then daniel speak again. "she's pretty" he only says. lando frowns and turns his head to look at his friend. "what ?" "the woman there. she's really pretty. i think she's a presenter. i often see her the paddock" daniel says and a silly smile take place on his face. lando follows daniel's gaze and his look falls on the one only girl he hoped his friend wasn't talking about.
you.
you're laughing so hard with his teammate that you almost trip and you have to hang on to oscar to avoid falling. and yes, indeed you are beautiful tonight. not that you aren't every day because he could literally spend the whole day admiring you but this long black dress which perfectly highlights your body has a lot of effect on him. but he knows he's not the only one you have an effect on. his jaw clench. no, his friend can't be interested in you. he does not have the right. lando was here first, he's the one for you not daniel. he needs to do something. he needs to keep daniel away from you.
"hah, there's much better mate... like this one girl over here, she's prettier by far." lando says in a nonchalant tone, and he points to a brunette who is also one of your colleagues. lie. it's a lie but he needs to do it. "really ? i prefer my girl. but i didn't know you had your eye on this brunette. good to know boy" daniel gives a wink to lando.
my girl ? did he really called you my girl ? jealousy fills lando now. daniel can't allow himself to call you like that. he does not have the right. only lando can call you my girl. you're his girl. well not really actually but still in his eyes you're his precious and favorite girl. he needs to try something else. "no that's not what i meant" "don't worry lando i'll try to get her number for you" he adds with an implicit smile.
the situation gets worse. it's not good at all. "no but i know her and i already know you won't like her. her name is y/n. you know she's horrible and she is like super super annoying. plus she has a terrible sense of humor. doesn't match with you." he ramble about you like you are the most mean person on earth. daniel looks confused but his eyes suddenly sparks. "oh it's the one girl you hate right ?" he asks.
lando hates his behavior now but he needs to save his opportunity. "yes that's her. i wish she could stop existing" he jokes but he's genuinely shocked by his own words. he wants to slap himself. how he hates himself for talking about you like that. he doesn't deserve you at all. "you know what i'm gonna talk to her"
and without realizing it, he sees daniel walking to you. lando's heart skipped a beat. no no no. it can't happen. you're his girl. you don't need daniel. jealousy is running in his blood and he swears he have never been this jealous over someone. he doesn't want to see you talk to an other man than him. he doesn't want to see you laugh with his old teammate because he perfectly knows you love his humor. no you can't give your attention to daniel. it is lando first.
"hello y/n !" daniel greets you with his white teeth smile. you stop talking with oscar and mirror his smile. lando rushes over and joins you. now there are three boys surrounding you. "hello daniel. hi lando !" you say and your smile widen when you look at the mclaren driver. his heart melt from your reaction, he notices how your eyes sparks when you look at him. "you look beautiful" daniel says then he adds "but lando thinks this woman over here his prettier than you. i think he might have a crush on her. but don't worry i'm here for you y/n".
lando sees red now. why daniel said that ? it's fucking bullshit, you're the absolutely only woman he has eyes for. he almost yells at his friend but he pulls himself together. he just hopes you won't listen to his bullshit. he's really pissed of now. you feel strange. like your heart painfully pangs. because you think now that lando already has an other girl in his mind. and it hurts. you thought you were somehow different for him. but you guess not. you try to change the topic because you're getting upset and sad. "wait how do you know my name ?" you frown confused and daniel laughs softly. "lando told me about you" he replies.
your gaze shift on lando. he talked about you to daniel ? it must have been positive then. you show your best smile to him and you can't help but giggle a little. but lando looks impassive, he doesn't even smile to you back. no, he's glaring at you. just like before. just like two months ago when he was hating on you. you don't understand. "oh and what did he say about me ?" you ask curiously.
daniel pats his friend's shoulder with a desolate look. of course it is part of the joke. "well he told me you're the most horrible and annoying person to ever exist. oh he actually said he wish you could stop existing but he was joking about that." daniel laughs but you are not. what ? is that true ? "excuse me... he really said that ? did he actually mean it ?" you ask to be sure.
lando knows he's in shit. he fucked up. he wants to say something but daniel cuts him off. "i think so because he literally said he hates you. but i think you already know that don't you ?"
daniel wasn't doing it on purpose at all. he knows that you both hate each other, which is why he allows himself to joke about your relationship. but he doesn't know that you've gotten a lot closer lately. lando didn't tell him about his feelings for you because he didn't want to show that he loves you. he kept pretending to hate you when he was with daniel and now this is what shit he's in.
"i... sorry i thought we got along well? that our relationship was better..." you look at the driver you love. he shows no expression.
so is he really like that? a big asshole to the end. you felt that he had changed, that he was starting to like you but in the end he is still the same idiot as before. he played with your feelings. and your whole being hurts. your heart pang so hard. "well if you believed it then maybe i should become an actor then" he scoffs and look at you up and down.
what is he doing? his behavior is truly shit and pathetic. he is losing the girl of his dreams because of himself. he is destroying the only person important to him. the only woman he wants to chase. he's so fucking bad he can't even take off this hateful role in front of daniel because he doesn't want to show that he fell in love with the girl he was supposed to hate. he's such a terrible asshole.
oscar doesn't understand either. because unlike daniel he knows lando's feelings towards you. he knows that his teammate is madly in love with you. so why this behavior? why is he doing all this? why is he hurting his best friend ? he looks at lando with a confused and angry gaze. "i'm sorry i need to get some water" you're about to cry in pain. you disappear quickly because you don't want to stay another second next to him. you have never felt like this before. you feel shit for believing in him. now he broke you in pieces.
daniel doesn't understand either what is happening. but some journalists are calling him for an interview and he excuses himself, saying he'll be back soon. now there's lando and oscar who remain together. "fuck" the curly haired curses. "fuck fuck fuck. shit. fucking shit. i fucked up everything" he curses more. oscar sigh and runs a hand in his hair. "indeed you did yes". his teammate looks like he's about to burst into tears. he knows he really did you wrong and shitty.
"see what you have lost" oscar says and shrugs. but him too is pissed off, he's mad at lando because this guy literally hurts in the most painful way his best friend. "why did you do that ? why did you mess up everything? i thought you really loved her!!â "because i do !! i do love her, she's my everything. she's the only person i care about. she's the only one i think about and she's making me loose my mind and i don't see my life without her oscar. for fuck sake i'm so in love with her and i know i don't deserve her"
lando goes around in circles. he's getting tired of it. "you really disappointed me you know. but it makes me feel sorry to see you in this state, so even if i don't like it, go chase after her" oscar pushes his teammate in your direction. he doesn't want to see lando desperate like this. he knows you love him and that lando loves you too. he can't stand seeing you two suffer when you're literally fighting for each other.
lando finds you in a hidden spot. you let a sob out of your mouth and it breaks his heart. his whole being even. he sees tears falling down on your cheeks and he curses at himself for being the reason of them. he carefully approaches you but you notice him. you're about to walk away but he grabs your wrist before you could run. "y/n"
"no. go away. i don't want to be near you" you bluntly pull back your hand from his grab. "no please y/n listen to me" he tries once again. you scoff and roll your eyes. he thinks it works like that ? "what ? i don't want to listen to you." you struggle to not yell at him. "i didn't intend to say theses things you have to trust me"
he digs himself in deeper. "oh what, now i need to trust you like i used to trust you when i thought you liked me ? you're shit lando" you start to walk away but he stops you once again. "leave me. i don't want to hear your excuses" you try to release his hand from your arm but he doesn't let you go. "no. listen to me. i don't even know why i acted like that and you don't realize how much i hate myself right now. this is not what i wanted to do. this is not what i want"
new tears fall on your face but you don't care at this point. you don't even have the energy to argue back. you can't stop crying. "so what do you want then ?"
"you" he answers without hesitation.
oh. you didn't expect this answer. his other hand grab gently your arm and he takes advantage of your lack of reaction to pull you into his arms. "now really listen" he starts and wipe a tear from your cheek. "i know i'm a piece of shit that don't deserve you. i don't even deserve to talk to you. i'm really a dick because i hurt you so bad and trust me it truly breaks my heart because i'm the man who broke your heart when i was supposed to take care of it"
"i never hated you. never. i was always attracted to you and i know i fell in love with you since the first time i laid eyes on you. every single day i begged to have a chance to talk to you. but i wasn't confident enough and i preferred to act like i hated you when all i wanted was to beg you to give me just a chance" he feels your body relaxes and he pulls you even closer. you can fell his breath on your neck.
"you're not even a little annoying. you are the complete opposite of horrible, you are the kindest and most caring person i know. i want to slap myself for saying i wish you didn't exist. because it's a fucking lie. i can't live without your existence. i can't imagine my future without you. you're taking my breath away and you never leave my mind and thoughts. i know you're the love of my life and i waited for you this long. and i'll never let you go now that i found you." he finishes in a sob and you hide your face in the crook of his neck.
"lando..." you hum. "shhh don't talk. it'll be alright baby" he murmurs against your ear. he strokes your hair with one hand and your back with the other. he places a soft kiss on your head. "i fell very hard for you baby. i'm so in love with you. i'll never stop loving you i promise" he says and you just nod. "i love you so much too lan" you simply answer.
"and that one brunette girl daniel talked about ?" you ask with watery eyes. he laughs softly and cup your face "oh babe i don't even remember who she is. but don't worry love i only have eyes for you" he says and you simply smile widely. "i hope so".
he smiles too and look at your lips. "now kiss baby" he says in a whisper and leans in to kiss you tenderly. the kiss is so sweet and gentle, his lips moving perfectly against yours. he's delighted and he softly bites your bottom lip. you pull back and peck his nose. "so do you love me or do you hate me ?" you ask as he wipes away your last tears. he smiles bright and think before speaking again. "i think i hate you lovingly".
and his lips meet once again yours in a passionate kiss...
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Dec âź 12 âź 2024 â update
Part of me hates doing these mostly because it's a whole lotta nothing and me just repeating everything I said the last update (lol) but I do like doing it because I like keeping people updated, even if it's a non-update. I may sound like a broken record (pun not intended) but I know a lot of people don't catch my updates every time so it's nice to just keep people informed yk yk
âź â Part 2 + rewrite
Fun fact: I had written an entire essay about my excitement for the rewrite and chapter 3 and beyond but it got too long!
It boiled down to me wondering why I'm so excited for this rewrite and realizing it's because I feel comfortable enough to approach it with complete creative freedom. I wrote the first iteration of the demo with the constant worries swimming in my head like "I hope people understand what I'm trying to say here" and "I hope this situation is being read the way I intended for it to be read." And I think I sort of had those thoughts tenfold while writing Part 2. If you paid attention, you can probably see where I was trying to shut down certain discussions in the narrative lmao
Recently I had a tiny epiphany and reminded myself that it's not always about what I intend to write, but what is being understood by each reader. And yes this is basic writing 101 but let me have this moment of clarity okay. Embracing that means I can proceed with Infamous without holding back and sticking to my guns in regards to what I want for this story aka I'm just going to write what I write and like....not worry about the rest you feel (while of course integrating the common critiques and suggestions and improving on the things Infamous falls short inâI am not Shakespeare lmao)
ANYWAY my point is that I'm excited to fix up the demo !!! and just go back to it with complete confidence in myself and write whatever the heck feels right to me (and write the rest of the story lolol) and return with a better story than I have now for everyone!!
âź â December will be for
planning what I'm going to improve and squeezing that in a reworked outline so it can flow much better narratively.
Outlining Chapter 3 and hopefully have the bare bones first draft drafted up which is mostly just be writing blocks of descriptions
I'm not sure I'll have anything substantial to justify looking for beta testers so soon yet but maybe!
work on my spice writing babey writing/reading spice makes me actually physically recoil but im determined to get better! which reminds me to finish the 6k follower gifts!
And also take a small breather because I am moving!
âź â Patreon
I've already mentioned this on Patreon and a few times on here, but I do want to reiterate that Patreon content is coming out in bulk this month, in case anyone was wondering why I'm not posting as frequently. The content is still the same in terms of the quantity, it just won't be released every few days! thank you guys for being understanding of that <3
âź â
My activity has is decreasing little by little due to my move but I do read every question and try to at least answer one question a day. I get quite a few mentions lately so I have to sort through those since I do get tagged in things, but I miss them due to my notifications. Usually I hope for the best and hope tracking the tag puts it on my dashboard <3 im not ignoring anyone!
That's all for now! Hope everyone has a happy December and Happy Holidays!
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i can request Meangirl!lottie? I think she would be sooo mean, I think she would love overstimulation! I love your posts!!!
Lottie Matthews x F!reader
Warnings: oral, desagration kink, strap referred to as dick, DUBCON, no aftercare, corruption kink? lottie blackmails you about your videos! recorded sex
A/n:I wrote this while eating a whole oreo egg, and I was listening gee , sorry anon I forgot about overstimulation:((( this has been rotting for months...
Lottie didn't know what it was about you...but you were different from the others, she doesn't know if it was because your eyes didn't shine when she passed in the hallway or if it was because you looked hotter than she would like to admit
at first it was just a "revolt" because when she "accidentally" dropped her food during break time and she got suspended, it was the first time that a stupid, nerdy person wasn't intimidated by the rich, intelligent queen bee of the school.
I mean, not that smart, otherwise she wouldn't need to be talking to the director for the 10th time, and this time it wasn't because she was caught intimidating the newbies
" Charlotte, you know that your father pays a lot for this tuition, I'm going to give you extra classes, But that's not enough, you'll have help from someone in your class. and I know the right person for that."
when lottie saw you she could feel all her blood boiling, she didn't know, you were too stupid and you were a bitch to her, she could shut you up with anything, if it would make you stop talking back to her criticisms
and she knew what she was going to do when she called you to her house on the weekend, apologizing via text about all the unrepentant threats (she didn't regret it )and saying he was going to make it a girls' night, when her parents were working all week and you even brought pajamas in your backpack, the stupid one was you who really thought that jackie and natalie were going to a slumber party, you were automatically forgiven when lottie saw how your breasts showed and she knew the water with medicine had worked , she saw how your face turned red, how you rubbed your thighs together as you tried to focus on duty
lottie comes close to you and places a hand on your thigh and leaves it there, she can feel yours eyes narrow, she feels you look visibly tense while look at the notebook, but you continues trying to speak "so you divide what m-multiplied...and"
"you seem tense darling...are you a virgin or something?." she says in a visibly mocking tone and continues "sorry, it must be embarrassing" lottie can feel you visibly trying to leave as your body say you to continue.
lottie lowers her hand to your clothed pussy and feels you moving away "w-what are you doing!"
" Shut your fucking mouth and enjoy, I know you want this.." she murmurs without looking into your eyes and rubs her pussy while putting her face on your neck and bites " you are very ungrateful...I know your nerdy friends want this...that's why you were staring at my ass while I was training, right?..." she asks a rhetorical question
and you weren't looking at her ass...god you have respect! "w-what?...n-no...never" you let out a shaky sentence as you feel her roll her eyes "liar" she drops her hand down your panties "jesus...you're really wet" she lets out a loud laugh as she feels you squeeze the nothing "fucking whore" she growls without pity at you as she collects your wetness from your entrance to your clit
she feels you moving away and bites your neck "if you leave..I'll tell everyone that you're a pervert" Your friends will love seeing this...you know.." Tears well up in your eyes, wide with fear as you feel Lottie try to stick a finger inside you. she raises an eyebrow "oh...you're a virgin!" she laughs as she sticks her finger faster than she should, in your little hole "stop...lottie...i-im..." you stumble over your words as you feel your damn legs shake unconsciously with pleasure..betraying your mind âIâm s-sorry...Sorry" You mutter pleas of pain as you try to move away from her and she simply ignores while sinking her fingers deeper inside your sticky walls
You like this right? to be used...who knew..." then as if gods had heard you she finally removes her fingers with the excuse that it was her turn to gain pleasure and I put her fingers with your excitement in your mouth and make you suck
she looks at you and forces you to kneel in front of her, while she not-so-subtly points her phone camera at you " you know what to do, little bitch" and without waiting her put your face in her pussy, god her smell was so good and in a minute you were smearing yourself, alternating between sucking her clit and her entrance, You didn't know why you were doing this, your mind was hazy with pleasure without your permission and she was more vocal than you thought, she puts her hand on the back of your neck, you couldn't breathe as she smothered you with her pussy "oh shit..yes..." she moans as she raises her hips to your mouth, trying impossibly to have more pleasure
You could feel tears welling up in your eyes as you struggled to breathe, and you could feel the burning in the back of your neck, from Lottie's nails.
how much more you alternated between sucking on her entrance and her clit you could feel her body getting tense and her moans getting louder with each movement of her hips and then you are trapped between her thighs, your ears ringing with the force that She squeezes your head and you can taste her on your tongue, pulling away from her you feel filthy when you see the phone still recording you, and Lottie with messy hair, panting and looking at you
she licks the drool that was dripping and an arrogant smile drips on her lips "I've never seen a virgin like you..." she murmurs then realizes that she was too kind "you're a whore" she stands up and looks at You "take off your clothes" and you can feel the shame rising in your veins, would this really be your first time? what a shame, you think when you say it before you think "no" you blurt it out accidentally
Lottie's eyes narrow, her smile fading. "Don't push me," she warns, her voice low and dangerous. "You know what will happen if you do." She steps closer, her breath hot against your face. "I'm not a woman you want to make an enemy of."
She grabs your chin, forcing you to look into her eyes. "You have two choices," she says coldly. "You can either do what I say and keep your mouth shut, or I can make your life a living hell. It's really up to you."
You feel a lump forming in your throat, tears pricking at the corners of your eyes. You don't want to do this, but you also don't want to face the consequences of defying her. Lottie releases your chin, stepping back. "Make up your mind," she says, her voice hard. "The clock is ticking."
You swallow hard, looking away. You know what you have to do. You can't afford to make her angry.
With a heavy heart, you nod reluctantly. There's no other choice. And so, you allow Lottie to take control once more, submitting to her demands in fear and desperation. She smiles wickedly, her eyes gleaming with victory. She pulls you into her arms, kissing you fiercely
she undresses you, her touch rough and demanding. You try to pull away, but she only grips tighter, reminding you of her threats. The guilt and shame consume you, but her promises of revenge hang over you
lottie tilts her head forward and sees how transparent your panties are with excitement
Lottie chuckles, her fingers teasing the damp fabric before slowly pulling it aside. Her gaze lingers on your wet slit, a satisfied hum escaping her lips. "You're already ready for me," she says, letting her fingertips trace along your folds gently, causing you to tremble underneath her touch. "But I want more than just that." She reaches down and grabs a bottle of lube from the nightstand, squirting some onto her fingers before guiding them inside you.
Her movements are slow and deliberate, stretching you open as she adds another finger, then another. Your breath hitches with each thrust, your body responding eagerly to her command " I thought you didn't want this..." she murmurs teasingly, while inevitably groan when see how much you squeeze her fingers " I think that shouldn't be enough for a greedy little slut like you"
Lottie smirks, spreading her fingers wide within you. The sensation sends a jolt of pleasure through your core, your hips rocking up into her hand. "That's right, let me have you." She whispers, increasing her pace until you're moaning softly, your nails digging into her shoulders.
As she continues to finger you, she pulls out her strap-on, slicking it generously with lube. "Are you ready for this?" She asks, her voice thick with desire as she positions herself above you."w-wait.." you mumble when you see it was bigger than you thought, it wouldn't fit. With one smooth motion, she slides into you, filling you completely. You cry out, your legs wrapping around her waist as she begins to move, setting a steady rhythm.
The camera captures every moan, every thrust, every moment of pure bliss. "Look at yourself, so perfect and wet for me." Lottie murmurs, reaching up to pinch your nipples, you could feel yourself squeezing her without your will, your stomach was burning and you felt so full it was strange, you shouldn't be enjoying this, it was wrong, you raise both your arms and try to pull her away from you
No, don't hold back," Lottie growls, her pace picking up as she feels your inner walls gripping her cock. "Let go, bitch. Let me hear you scream my name." Each thrust is harder now, your cries becoming louder and more desperate. The camera captures every twitch, every shiver that races through your body.
And then, just as you're about to reach your breaking point, Lottie changes tactics. She pulls out abruptly, causing you to whine in protest. But there's no time to complain as she quickly flips you onto your knees, guiding you onto her cock once again. "Come on," she orders, slapping your ass gently. "Show them what they came for."
You obey, bouncing on her cock while still gasping for air. The new angle hits nerves you didn't know existed "f-fuck...s-shit!" you murmur shakily feeling your walls burning.
Yeah, that's it, scream for me, babe!" Lottie encourages, thrusting deeper into you. "Let everyone know how fucked I've made you, how hard I'm stretching that tight little pussy of yours." She grips your hips tightly, fucking you relentlessly. Each thrust causes your body to rock on the bed as she takes full control. "You're mine now, aren't you? My virgin whore who loves nothing more than my big cock shoved inside her."
She takes a look at your red and swollen clit "There we go," she coos, rubbing circles around your sensitive nub. Your hips buck wildly beneath her, your moans muffled by their kiss. She picks up the pace, keeping one eye on the camera even as she focuses on pleasuring you.
"Oh fuck! Stop...stop stop..." You cry out, your climax crashin over you like a tidal wave. Lottie continues to play with your clit, milking every last drop of pleasure from your bod, You close your legs unconsciously when it becomes too sensitive and she immediately moves away, slapping your thigh for you to open it again.
"Keep those legs spread," she instructs, rubbing the head of her toy against your entrance. "We're not quite done yet." You nod, trying to catch your breath as she enters you once more, this time at a slower pace. Her free hand finds its way to your clit, rubbing it slowly at first, then picking up speed as you beg for more.
Every movement is captured on camera, the sound of your gasps echoing in the room. Lottie thrusts harder
Lottie's breath catches at your enthusiasm, her cock twitching within you. "Like that, baby?" She says, thrusting harder, faster. "You love being taken like this, don't you? Wanting more of my cock?"
The sound of flesh hitting flesh fills the room as she pounds into you, her body moving in perfect synchronization with yours. She can feel you getting closer to climax, and it spurs her on.
"Cry for me, baby," She hisses, her voice thick with lust. "Tell me you love my cock, that you can't live without it inside you."
Soon enough, your entire body is shaking under her, your cries growing louder. She knows your climax is near; she can feel it in the way you grip the sheets, your inner muscles clenching around her cock. And then, just as she predicted, you explode, crying out her name.
Lottie feels her own release building up, her clit slapping with just the right pressure against the strap, and her old orgasm only helping her more
your walls milking her cock mercilessly. "God, you're tight," She moans, burying herself deeper inside you. "Take it, take all of it!"
Your hips jerk wildly, your back arching off the bed as you reach your climax. Lottie keeps up the pace, drawing out every last drop of pleasure from you. The room is filled with the sounds of your moans and the clicking of the camera, capturing every twitch and spasm.
lottie walks away from you, panting and you feel an emptiness inside you, you hear another click from the camera then she stops the video and throws her phone on the floor, taking off her strap and placing it anywhere in the room, leaving you destroyed on the bed
"I'm already done with you, I hope you don't tell anyone this...or you already know"
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hey there!
please don't take this the wrong way, because i'm genuinely just asking. i've seen your criticism of aang and kataang appear on my dash from time to time, and it just got me wondering: how can you enjoy the show?
i understand that you feel passionate about katara, and i suppose about the entire story, but. aang is like on screen 90% of the time, and he gets his happy ending too (as happy as it can be, of course, with having his entire culture and people on the brink of non-existence). how do you reconcile your love for the show with your dislike for its main character and how the narrative rewards him?
and once again, please understand that i'm not attacking. i'm just curious to see at what point does someone stop being a fan and start being simply critical of a certain media, if you know what i mean.
thank you for answering if you do, and cheers!:)
I just donât pay attention to him very much. Even in the finale, Zukoâs ending and story stands out more to me. Him standing before the crowd in his sparkling crown, announcing that he wants to bring in a new era of love and peace, thatâs powerful to me. Watching Zuko go from an abused boy who thinks his only worth comes from accomplishing an impossible task in his desperation to appease his abuser, to a literal king taking back his power and using it for good, is a powerful story.
As for Katara, to me, her true ending is the Agni Kai. I wrote a whole post about it. That is the culmination of her arc, where she is able to display her power and use it to overthrow the regime that sheâd grown up being terrorized by. And then after Zuko was nearly killed, Katara was able to save his life just like he saved hers. The way their stories intertwined was beautiful, and it was a beautiful conclusion to Kataraâs story, watching her not have to feel helpless for once and bringing the change sheâd always dreamed of.
As you can probably tell, these are my favorite characters so I was satisfied by their endings. To be honest on my rewatch, I usually kind of just skim the Aang vs. Ozai fight because itâs just an anime battle. The characters hadnât even met prior to the fight, so the emotional depth is lacking compared to the Final Agni Kai.
As for the balcony scene? I donât watch it. And I think it says a lot that by simply not watching it, nothing is lost. It adds nothing to either character and only serves to give Aang a reward. Before that moment, nothing about the finale suggested Katara wanted that at all. Neither character played a significant role in the otherâs finale arc. There was absolutely no narrative significance between them.
But there was for Zuko and Katara.
To me, Katara ended the story as a heroine and warrior, not a love interest. With Zuko, that was her ending. So thatâs the real ending to me, because thatâs what her character means to me.
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it's all me, just don't go
pairing. itoshi rin x gn!reader
genre. post-argument, hurt/comfort this time (^o^) | fluff too actually (?)
warnings. swearing, and probably a lil ooc rin .. well he's a bit of a loser here (i like loser men) this is also not proofread basically wrote it on a whim T_T i also listened to "afterglow" by taylor swift while writing hehe so it's a bit inspired to that
note. it's the part 2 of this | i'm supposed to be figuring this whole platform out but instead made a part 2 of the rin fic bec he got me in chokehold istg
before you could make up your mind, you felt the door knob twisting, startling you. you froze, heart pounding against your chest. as the door swung open, it revealed a distraught rin hastily trying to wear his coat.
your eyes locked with his, and for a moment, you were both suspended in time.
itoshi rin was not known for being a man of many words, but for you, he rehearsed every possible apology he could think of as heâll search for you in every street around. he wouldâve apologized a hundred times over if it meant you would return home to him. if youâre not ready to come home with him, heâll leave you alone. heâll leave the apartment, if it means youâll stay where he knows youâre safe. heâll tell you heâll be good for you. fuck, heâll be the best for you. he would have changed his ways, toned down his ego, anything to prove his love to you. heâll tell you anything, just please, for the love of whatever divine forces watching over him, please come home.
he prepared a lot to say, a lot to make up for. he never prepared for a staring contest with you right now. rinâs hands ached to hold you. he wants â needs to fucking hold you so close, feel your warmth and know that you were still his. but every thought and intention he had practiced vanished in the face of your presence, leaving him at a loss for words.
rin saw the hurt in your eyes, and he couldn't help but feel a twinge of guilt in his chest. he had hurt you, and seeing the pain written so plainly on your face made him ache inside.
but the hurt in you was no longer remnants of the argument you had, it was because of your lover standing in front of you right now.
as rinâs eyes met yours, you noticed that his eyes were slightly red-rimmed and there was a streak of dried tears in his cheeks. at the realization that rin had been crying, you felt your heart lay down in pieces. you knew how rinâs mind tends to jump into the brinks of overthinking. he mustâve thought youâre never coming back, hence him leaving the apartment and going after you.
the sight of him was far from what the world thought about itoshi rin. this was no egoist.Â
no, this was a man, vulnerable and afraid, his heart laid bare for you to see.Â
and in that moment, you knew, no longer a shred of doubt clouding your mind, that you definitely seen past beyond his walls.
you wasted no time breaking the suffocating silence that enveloped you both, your voice low and small as you uttered a timid âhi.â you couldn't bear to look into rin's eyes, instead opting to cast your gaze downward as you tried to form coherent sentences. âi'm sorry for leaving,â you managed to say, your words strained with regret. âi just needed some fresh air, and i thought maybe you wanted some time alone. i'm sorryââ
before you could continue, rin's towering frame engulfed you in a tight embrace. you felt his arms wrap around you protectively, and you couldn't help but lean into him. "you have nothing to apologize for, it was on me," rin murmured, his voice soft and laced with guilt. he wondered why the hell were you even apologizing when you had done nothing wrong but love him, despite being a huge asshole.
you were about to reply, but rin beat you to it, his words tumbling out in a jumbled mess. "i'm so fucking sorry, baby. i didn't mean any of the shit i told you. i'm sorry i hurt you. i lashed out at you for things you never did, and i took it out on you because i was scared over something so fucking lukewarm." you could hear the sniffling between his words, but you didn't mention it, instead burying your face further into his chest as he held you tighter.
rin's grip on you intensified, as if he was afraid he'd lose you if he let go. he took your silence as a cue to cradle your face in his palms and press your foreheads together, his warm breath fanning across your face.
âiâm sorry. iâll be good to you, y/n. just please, donât leave..â me. rin couldn't bring himself to say it, the mere thought of losing you driving him to the brink of madness.
he closed his eyes, unwilling to see your face and see a trace of rejection or any thought of you leaving him. for a moment, it felt like rin couldn't even breathe. the silence between you was again suffocating, and he knew he needed to hear something, anything. "please, y/n. say something," he implored, desperation evident in his tone.
âopen your eyes, rinnieâ at the sound of his nickname rolling off your lips, he hesitantly opened his eyes to look at you.Â
glad he did, because youâre smiling.Â
it took one smile. one fucking smile from you, and itoshi rin felt he can breathe again.Â
âwill you let me let you go?âÂ
âfuck no.â
you let out a small chuckle at the speed of his answer, all with his familiar snarky voice. you placed your hands in his cheeks and you can see the relief wash over rin's face at the gesture.Â
he looks at you as if you're his lifeline, and in this moment, you are.
âyou better not. because iâm not going anywhere, rin.â you say, your voice filled with conviction.
âi'm never letting you go,â he whispers, his eyes still locked onto yours.
you both stay like that, wrapped in each other's arms, basking in the warmth of your embrace. for the first time in a while, everything feels right.
tomorrow, you know there will be more apologies and a lot of talking. tomorrow, both of you will try harder to be better for each other. and tomorrow, hand in hand, you and rin will face whatever lies ahead.
but tonight, both of you will let your fragile hearts hold on to each other and your frantic minds to be at peace in each otherâs arms. tonight, itoshi rin will spend every second convincing himself that youâre his to love and here to stay. tonight, he will love you better.
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unconventional methods - chapter 1
Summary: Bucky Barnes has a big problem: he is too anxious to date and too old school to enjoy porn. But he needs some kind of relief, and he needs it right now.
After getting an accidental boner during a mission, Natasha suggests him an application that seems to be exactly what he needs.
Will your content solve the problem for him? Or will it create new problems?
Pairing: Bucky Barnes x Female Reader (SHIELD Agent Bucky Barnes x Adult Content Creator Reader)
Word Count: 5.7K
Warnings: 18+ NSFW MINORS DNI, sex deprivation, adult content creation, sexy lingerie, sexy photos and videos, male masturbation, self-doubt, overthinking, flirting, sexting, sending explicit content to each other, pet names, mutual masturbation, jealousy, feeling possessive (nothing toxic), hiding the real identity, no mention of y/n.
A/N: This was such a random idea but as I started to think about it, more details came to me. After a point, it became impossible not to write.
In this story, Bunny is the reader but we view most of the story from Buckyâs side so thereâs no use of you during the story. We donât know what the reader is up to, how she feels about stuff. Only as much as Bucky knows or sees. Thatâs why the reader is mentioned as she mostly.
>> indicates incoming messages and << indicates outgoing messages in this story.
This story is not exactly how it seems but I donât want to spoil it by revealing things too soon. Just stick around, if you wanna know how things will turn out to be.
Again, a big thank you to @notafunkiller for helping me every step of the way. She helped me the moment I felt stuck or something felt off, beta read the whole story and turned this into a readable piece. Thanking her wonât be enough. I would literally add her as a co-writer if that was possible on Tumblr.
All work is mine, please do not repost or translate without my permission.
Every like, comment and reblog is highly appreciated. Donât hesitate to message me or send me a question regarding the stories I write. I would love to talk about it and no, it would never bother me as long as itâs not a hate comment. They are never welcome.
Read more tag starts after the first paragraph of the story.
Bucky wasnât sure if he should do this. He looked at the paper Natasha handed him and then back at the screen again. The internet browser was open for a while, but he couldnât decide what to do. It felt weird to be in this position. It didnât feel right⊠but why was it wrong again? She was sharing her own content: whatever she was comfortable with. They were all there for people to see if they wanted to, right? He took a deep breath, started to type the link Natasha wrote down for him, and pushed enter quickly before he changed his mind.
The page loaded quickly, but all he could see was her profile picture and the header. There was a huge subscribe button and under it, he could see how many posts she had, different subscription options, etc. He scrolled back up to look at her photos. They were not clickable, but her profile picture was her in blue lingerie and cute bunny ears, which made him smile for a second. Then he looked at the header. She was on all fours, staring directly into the camera. It was a different look. Not that âIâm trying to look sexyâ look that usually turned him off when it came to porn. It felt genuine somehow. How genuine it could be under these circumstancesâŠ
He looked at her profile picture for a while, thinking what could go wrong? A lot of people were doing this, weren't they? Some people were making money, some were paying for it. It wasn't that different from buying a dirty magazine. No, actually this was better because she had all the creative control over her own content. She was the one putting it out there. If that was not consent, then what was? He quickly created an account for himself, using a new email account like Natasha suggested. He didnât need anyone to find out about this.
The next part felt like falling into a rabbit hole because dear god⊠She looked gorgeous! She had some free content that didnât show much. Different poses in different lingerie. The photos were serving their purpose, making you want to subscribe and see more⊠of her. So he kept looking for a while.
There was something about her that made her so much more attractive, but he couldnât put his finger on it. He clicked next, looking at her pic in front of the mirror, with her legs wide open, but not actually showing anything. The slight smile on her face was warm and inviting. He knew he had no other option than to subscribe and see all of her content. He needed to see more.
The process didn't take long. After unlocking the special content, he just stared at the screen. How can she be real? He palmed his face, feeling nervous like he was on a first date with this attractive woman. He knew he wasn't. She was way out of his league, but he still felt nervous and intrigued while checking out all the content. There were so many different options and he didnât know where to start.
At first, he decided to go slow and just check a couple of nude photos. The pics were in order, showing her getting rid of one piece of clothing with each new shot. It started with her fully dressed, looking super sexy: short skirt, modest cleavage, looking all cute. First, the skirt was gone, then her top, and she was left standing in her pastel pink lingerie that covered her chest completely, but it was lacy and see-through. It was fitting her like it was custom-made. He couldnât stop himself and kept swiping, finding different concepts. His cock was pressed against his pants, aching for attention as he was unable to look away.
After spending god knows how long on her profile, Bucky finally couldnât take it anymore. This was the point of all this, wasnât it? Creating the need at the right time to please himself, so he wouldnât get random erections during the missions⊠He unzipped himself and finally freed his cock. Still, his hands didnât go there directly. He kept looking at her profile, discovering other features: like videos she uploaded while getting off!
âDear godâŠâ He gulped after seeing the thumbnail. She had a dildo in her hand. There was no way he was not going to click on this. No way!
He watched her taking her sweet time, teasing herself and, of course, the viewers, then getting really wet and adding lube on top of it before she pushed the dildo inside. The moan she let out sent a powerful jolt through his whole body. It was so beautiful and felt so fucking authentic, nothing like those fake, unrealistic porn moans. They were always a huge turn-off. This, on the other hand, was too much to handle. His cock was dripping so much precum, begging him for some attention. He couldnât remember the last time he was this turned on. Either it never happened or it was so long ago, it doesnât matter anymore.
He finally reached for the lube, poured a generous amount into his flesh hand, and quickly grabbed his cock.Â
âFuck.â It felt so sensitive. Like he had been edged for the last hour. Maybe he had been⊠after all the content he went through.
His fingers were loose, moving up and down slowly while the most beautiful girl he ever laid eyes on was pleasing herself on the screen. He didnât want this to end too soon. He wanted to take his sweet time and maybe imagine she was the one doing this to him. That was a nice image: her between his legs, looking up at him with those big eyes while she moved her hand up and down slowly, torturing him, not letting him come until she said so.
His breath shuttered at the thought, his fingers moving faster than before, like they have their own mind. His cock was grateful, but no, he didnât want to come before the video was done. Somehow it felt like disappointing your date during your first sex.
Luckily, she started to shatter, moaning as she came on the dildo she was riding. And the noises she made immediately sent him over the edge.Â
âF-f-fuck,â he slurred as he started to come. It felt good, really good. He lost himself in pleasure and kept stroking until he emptied himself. Until he felt that overstimulation creeping in. That was when he noticed he closed his eyes. When he opened them back up, the video was done and the black screen with a play again button welcomed him.Â
Disappointment washed over him. She wasn't there with him. Even if he came before the video was done, she wouldnât know. There was no one to disappoint. He was alone in his bedroom, jerking off to a computer screen, but in his defense, the girl was hot. Really hot.
He took a deep breath, letting himself enjoy the afterglow. That was the point of all this: enjoying small stuff like satisfaction without going through the tedious process of meeting new people. He reached for the wet wipes and cleaned himself quickly. As he clicked the exit button on the video, he saw another one. It must be old because she looked a bit younger, and her hair was a little lighter. Also, it looked like a short one so he clicked on it.
âHey. Thank you so much for subscribing.â This was the first time he heard her voice. It was soft and calm. âI know this isnât conventional, but I enjoy sharing content like this. Donât judge me if you donât wanna be judged, okay?â She winked and god, it was adorable. âI'll try to share new content every Wednesday. I hope to see you here. Feel free to message me if you like. Take care.â
If he hadnât come thirty seconds ago, he would have gotten hard again after hearing her voice. He was glad even the super soldier serum had some limits. Before his body could recover from his intense orgasm, he closed the window and decided to go take a shower.
-------
The next week passed in a blur. There were missions, briefings, and someoneâs birthday⊠He didnât care whose. It was not someone from the main team, that was all he knew. He was eating his cake in the corner, minding his own business when Natasha sat next to him.
âHey.â She tried to sound as casual as possible.
âHey.â
âYou look better.â
Bucky looked at her confused.
âDoes that supposed to be a compliment, Romanoff?â
âItâs a simple statement, Barnes. It looks like you took my advice and gave yourself a break.â Bucky averted his gaze from her. âNo accidental erections during missions, congrats.â
âIt was one time, Natasha. One time. When will you let it go?â
âWhenever you tell me about your⊠experience.â
âMy experience?â He looked back at her, with the same confused expression all over again.
âI wanna know if you liked her or not. I donât need details.â
âWhy do you care so much about it? Sheâs just a random girl.â He lied to her. She wasnât. At least not to him. He had been checking her account anytime he got a chance. This whole week, he had been masturbating more than he ever did before. Sometimes even the thought of her was turning him on so randomly, he was starting to get worried, but at the same time, he couldnât stop himself from checking for updates.
She was sharing content very regularly. Sometimes they were new photoshoots, and sometimes just random cute photos in pajamas. He didnât know which content he was looking forward to the most. All he knew was he loved how genuine it felt she was.
âIâm just noisy. So tell meâŠâ
âYes, Natasha, I like her. Sheâs cute and hot, exactly what I was looking for. What do you want, a thank you?â
Bucky really had no idea how Natasha managed to hit the bull's eye when she suggested this girl to him. She was absolutely his type, so he could say thank you for this, but nothing more.
âI wouldnât mind.â
âThank you.â It was Natashaâs turn to feel confused because in all the time they spent together with Barnes, he never once thanked her. This was a first.
âWow. You really like her.â She sounded proud of herself.
âHey, Buck!â The moment Bucky heard Samâs voice, he jumped off the couch. He didnât want to spend another minute talking about his irrational crush with Natasha. It was pointless.
-------
As the time passed, Bucky felt like he was addicted to her content. He was checking his phone much more often than before, just to see if she shared something. He didnât notice it until Sam pointed it out and asked if he got a girlfriend or something. He quickly denied that possibility, finding a lame excuse. He wasnât sure if Sam bought it or not, but he definitely needed to check his phone less often.Â
When he came back home, he felt so tired. The whole day was full of meetings and he let himself be consumed by the details just not to think about her. It was Wednesday, which meant new content, yet he still tried to stay away from his phone.Â
He literally consumed every content she ever shared. There was no photo or video on her profile he didn't see. There were some he masturbated to more than once. He just wanted to take a step back and if he could manage this, he would feel less of a creep. The problem was he was home and he had nothing to do.
He tried to distract himself with food at first, and it only worked for 15 minutes. Then he took a shower, which took even less. Watching television didnât even last more than 5 minutes, so he decided to go to sleep, but his mind kept wandering to her. He wanted to know what she shared and how she looked. Finally, he gave in and opened her profile⊠to see nothing. Since yesterday she shared literally nothing. That was so unlike her. She shared something every day and she never missed Wednesdays. He didnât care about the lack of new content. It worried him that he doesnât know if she was alright. Why wouldnât she be? Maybe she was busy. He tried to calm himself down but falling asleep was impossible.
Then he made a promise to himself: if she won't share anything by noon the next day, he would message her. That thought calmed him down a little.
-------
The next day, Bucky forgot that he was trying to avoid checking his phone in public. His body was at work, but his mind was stuck on⊠her. He kept looking at her profile to see something, anything to assure himself youâre alright, but there was literally nothing. Complete silence. When it was finally noon, he had no patience left. Normally, he wouldnât even consider sending a message, but he was just worried. And it didnât occur to him that it was not his place to be concerned about this woman.Â
He opened her profile and clicked on the direct messages feature. His mind was completely blank. He had no idea what to say, looking at the screen for a couple of seconds as he trying to collect his thoughts.
âHey.â Thatâs all he could come up with. How to say you are worried about someone who has no idea you even exist? It was ridiculous, but there was no way he could just wait and do nothing. âIâm sorry for bothering you. I hope you are alright. You have been absent lately. It could be something totally personal, I know that, but you never miss Wednesdays. So I wanted to check in to see if you are fine. I really hope you are.â
He took a deep breath after he pressed send. It was a long shot for sure. He didnât really expect an answer. Maybe a seen. And that would be more than enough.
-------
An unfamiliar chime got Buckyâs attention. It surely came from his phone, but he never heard that sound before. When he took his phone out and saw the notification, his heart skipped a beat, just for a second. It was a message from her. The nervous feeling spread through his body like poison, sweat pooling on his forehead before he even clicked on it.
>> Hey, handsome. Thank you for checking in. I have been a bit busy and sick at the same time. Not the best combo. Sorry for missing the content day. I will make it up next Wednesday.
Bucky looked at the message, a bit confused. He wasnât interested when the new content was gonna drop. He just wanted to know if she was okay. Being busy and sick at the same time didnât look so. Content should have been the last thing she should be worried about.
<< Iâm not worried about the content, darling. I just wanted to make sure you were okay.
He definitely didnât expect her to respond this quickly, it didnât even take a minute.
>> Really? I thought youâd miss me.
She was talking like she knew him personally. Like they have chatted before. It was weird and comforting at the same time.
<< I did miss seeing your cute little face, Iâm not gonna lie, but I didnât message you for that. Content can wait until you feel better.
>> My cute little face is a little bit unpresentable and I appreciate your concern. Itâs refreshing to see someone actually cares how I am feeling instead of why I did not share anything lately.
<< Iâm sure your cute little face is still the cutest thing on the face of the earth. I wouldnât worry about being presentable.
>> Get ready for a jumpscare.Â
He had no idea what that meant, but the text was followed by a selfie: her, in bed, looking rather exhausted, with a messy bun, cute pajamas, and a cup of tea in her hand. Bucky quickly googled what jumpscare means and came back to the messaging screen.
<< You clearly donât know what jumpscare means. It would be me, in a dark hallway or an alley. Thatâs real jumpscare. This is a cute lady who needs a bit of time to recover.
>> First darling, now cute lady. Are you sure you arenât 60 years old?
<< Why, do you have an age limit?
>> For my content? No.
<< And for other stuff?
>> The answer is still no, but are you?
<< 60? No. Iâm 107.
>> How do you know how to use the app at 107?Â
That question made Bucky laugh a little, but he chose to be honest.
<< If I donât know something I just google it.
>> Shouldn't you be semi-dead at 107?
<< I should be fully dead yet Iâm still here.
>> Your profile says 33. Why are you lying handsome?
<< Believe me, my body and soul are older than 33.
>> I kinda believe that because you are talking differently.
<< Is it why you are answering my messages?
>> That and I feel a bit lonely. Your message sounded cute. I usually end the conversation before it gets too far.
<< Whatâs too far for you?
>> When they start demanding private pictures or try to sext.
Bucky had to google once again what sext means, just to be sure, and it was exactly what he thought it would be.
<< But you sent them to me.
>> Just one picture. A sick selfie and you didnât ask for it. I thought it would turn you off really badly and you would say take care and end the convo.
<< I still think you look cute.
>> I am starting to believe you might be cute as well.
-------
Bucky had no idea how things got this far with her. After that message, they were literally sending texting each other daily. Just checking in, asking random stuff, or getting to know each other. It was not the same every day. Sometimes it was just a couple of messages and dead silence. Sometimes they communicated all day, non-stop, but Bucky didnât mind. He didnât mind not talking to her every day. Knowing that she was okay gave him a bit of peace. Just a good morning or a good night message was enough to ease his anxiety.Â
>> Good morning, handsome.
That was the text he woke up to, that made him smile almost all day. Every time he remembered her calling him handsome or taking time to send a message to him, it made him happy. It made him feel different than others. He knew that was not the case. Maybe she kept talking to him because he didnât make her uncomfortable. Maybe she talked to others too. He had no idea, but whenever he thought about her messaging someone else, he felt a faint pain in his stomach. He knew this feeling was irrational, so he avoidedto think about it as much as possible.
<< Good morning, bunny.
<< Is your favorite color pink?
He randomly asked as he had been doing all week. The question came to him because he noticed she wore that color a lot.
>> No, itâs light blue. Why?
<< You wear pink a lot, thatâs why I asked.
>> Thatâs what they like. Most men still think blue is a manly color.
<< You look divine in blue. Itâs their loss really.
Her answer was a picture of her in blue lingerie. It surprised him because that photo was not on her profile. He remembered seeing this set, but not this exact photo. He kept looking at the pic for much longer than he should have. Another message woke him up from his trance.
<< I take that as you like it.
>> This photo is not on your profile.
<< No, itâs not.
>> But you feel fine sending it to me.
<< You said I look divine in blue.Â
>> You do. Iâm just surprised you sent me a photo you didnât share before. Iâm glad you feel comfortable.
<< Iâm pretty comfortable talking to you. Otherwise, I wouldnât talk to someone whose name I donât know.
>> I donât know your name either, bunny.
<< You are a smart man. Most assume this is my real name.
>> Using your real name would be an unnecessary risk.
<< Is that why you donât call me Viv?
>> Maybe. I wasnât doing it on purpose. Why are you calling me handsome?
<< I donât know, I never really thought about it.
>> Yeah, exactly. You donât know what I look like but you are calling me handsome.
<< I would love to see what you look like, but I donât wanna make you feel uncomfortable.
>> Iâm sure what you are imagining is much better than the reality, bunny.
<< Why do you call me bunny?
>> Because of your profile photo. The bunny ears. You look really cute.
-------
Bucky was in the middle of debriefing. After a really long mission, he was finally back in New York. He wondered if Bunny messaged him. That was what heâd been calling her in his mind for a while and suddenly, he realized it might be too weird. Was he getting too creepy? Too comfortable? They didnât even know each other properly. The last time they talked, she asked him why he didnât use Viv. Maybe that was a signal for him to go for the fake name instead of his nickname.
âBarnes.â Furyâs voice brought him back to reality.
âSorry, what did you say?â
âI asked if you want to add anything else.â His voice was firm.
âNo, no. Romanoff covered it well.â
âGood. Rest for a couple of days. We will be going back to finish what we started.â
When Bucky finally reached out for his phone, Natasha was smiling in the corner.
âDoes he have a secret girlfriend?â Sam asked.
âMaybe. I have no idea.â She lied.
-------
>> Good morning, old man.
>> Busy day?
>> I got a funny story to tell you, but you arenât around.
>> Please tell me I didnât offend you with the nickname.
>> I am messaging you a lot, arenât I? I should leave you alone.
>> Iâm sorryâŠ
Buckyâs heart was racing as he read the messages. He shouldâve warned her about not being online for a while. Instead, she thought she did something wrong. He looked at the message screen, trying tocome up with a good response to assure her that he wasnât offended. He was an old man after all. What was there to get offended?
<< Hey. Iâm sorry. I was away for work. There was no signal. I did not see your messages before.Â
<< Just know that you never bother me. You can message me as much as you want. Whenever you want and I will answer when I can.
<< And you know I should be the one to worry if Iâm bothering you or creeping you out. Not you.
<< If you still wanna tell me that funny story, Iâm here to listen, Viv.
Bucky wasnât sure if she would reply. After all, she didnât get a message from him for a while. Maybe heâd already lost his chance⊠But then his phone chimed.
>> Viv? Where did Bunny go?
>> đ°
<< You want me to call you Bunny?
>> I got used to it.
<< Okay, Bunny. If thatâs what you want.
This made him feel better. Maybe he was just overthinking. She didnât seem to mind half of the things he was thinking about.
<< Should I get used to being called old man?
>> Does it bother you?
<< It doesnât. I am an old man.
>> You are 33 if you didnât lie while creating your profile.
<< Biologically, yes.
>> But you feel older, so you donât mind.
>> Iâm glad you are back.
<< Iâm sorry that I didnât warn you about work.
>> Itâs okay. You donât owe me anything.
That last message broke his heart. He knew she was right. He didnât owe her anything, but that wasnât the reason why he was explaining himself. He was doing it because he wanted to, and a small part of him wanted to owe her an explanation. He also wanted her to owe him an explanation. Yet he knew that wasnât the case.
<< Is that how you feel?
>> Isnât that how I should feel? I donât know who you are. I donât even know what you look like. I just know I like talking to you. If thatâs the only thing you are willing to do, then itâs fine by me. I mean you could be married or engaged and I wouldnât know. So itâs fine, you donât have to explain yourself.
Bucky looked at the message for a while, digesting what she was saying. She was right. She had no information about who he was while he had access to her all of her content and now private messages. She was completely exposed, and he didnât even share his name with her. Why would she trust him? Why would she owe him any explanation at all?
<< Itâs James.
>> Nice to meet you, James đ°
>> You have such a beautiful name.Â
-------
After he shared his name with her, something changed between them. Something subtle, but it meant a lot to Bucky. It felt like she was more open, and more curious now.Â
>> What are you wearing?
Bunnyâs question caught him off guard. He looked at himself in panic. He was sitting on the floor, only with his boxers on, so there was no way he could tell her the truth.
<< Pajamas, you?
>> What kind of pajamas? Iâm guessing old man pajamas butâŠI never saw an old man in old-school pajamas. Maybe you can show me.
Shit, shit, shit.
Lying to her was a huge mistake. He had no pajamas to put on. He only had a couple of pants, and henleys, and maybe three jackets. Natasha always made fun of him for wearing the same stuff over and over again. She was trying to hit a nerve so he would go buy something new, but it didnât work, of course. Now, he wished it did.
He started to panic a little, looking around to find a solution. I could cover my body, a voice in his head said. And thatâs what he did. He laid down, covered himself with his blanket, and took the picture. His face wasnât in the frame, just the tip of his chin. Since he shaved this morning, his dimple was showing. He used his vibranium hand to take the selfie, and in this way, it looked like a normal photo.
It was too late when he noticed the fact that he laying on the floor, not in bed was visible. He cursed to himself while waiting for her answer. There was no way she wasnât going to comment about the absence of the bed. No way.
>>Â I am not seeing any pajamas or your body, old man. It is that bad?
Bucky took a breath of relief. Maybe she did not even notice. After all, she wanted to see him. Maybe she didnât even pay attention to his surroundings.
Or maybe she just didnât want to make him uncomfortable. That thought changed his mind. He literally saw every part of her body. Sending a picture back in his boxers shouldnât be a big deal, right? He stood up and extended his vibranium arm. The new selfie was quite similar except this time he was showing a lot of skin. Starting from the tip of his chin, he showed his upper body only. He looked at the photo before sending it: upper body and black boxers. No bare legs and no face.
>> I see no pajamas. And this body doesn't belong to an old man at all. Are you lying to me, James?đ€š
He might have made a mistake by sending this picture. There was no way he could prove to her this is actually him. Especially after all that old man talk. While he was thinking about what heâs gonna do next, he got another message.
>> Cat got your tongue?
<< A bunny did actually.
>> You look good, James. Really good, but you donât seem excited.
Her response confused him.Â
<< Excited?
>> Maybe you need a photo to get excited.
Before he could ask what that means, she sent him a pic of her. Definitely not professionally taken. Itâs her in front of the mirror, wearing only shorts and covering her naked breasts with one of her hands while taking the picture with the other.Â
>> Hope this helps.
>> But if you wanna see more, you gotta share more.
<< You're very beautiful, bunny, but I hope you know this was not my intention. I was waiting for you to tell me that funny story.
Her response was another photo: a close up on her covered breasts. She looked like she was about to drop her hand and reveal it like he did not see them before.
>> I know.
>> So does this mean you're not excited? I was trying something hereâŠ
>> I can tell you the story if thatâs what youâd rather do.
âFuckâŠâ Bucky cursed out loud. He was really good at this before. Flirting and finding the best possible response were easy back in the 40s, but it didnât feel like that anymore. He was constantly worried about doing something wrong or creeping her out. He wanted to hear the story, but he really wanted to see her breasts too.
<< What do I have to do to see more?
>> Iâve just told you. Share more to get more.
Oh, so she wanted more photos of him, and he literally had no idea how to take flattering pictures.
>> Maybe start by showing me if the photos worked or not.
He looked down at himself and saw his rock-hard cock. How is he supposed to show her? Maybe I should mimic her photos. He touched the outline of his dick, making it a little more visible before taking a picture.
<< Is it clear enough?
>> Oh, you got really excited, didnât you Jamie?
>> Not an old man after all.
He loudly groaned when he saw what she called him. Jamie. God! He felt a jolt of arousal the moment he read the nickname. He was sure he got even a little harder if thatâs possible.Â
Before he could find an answer, Bunny sent him another photo. This time her palm was stretched on her breasts, fingers not hiding much anymore, but still, her tits werenât completely visible. Yet he could see how erect her nipple was. He already had a lot of dirty thoughts: like taking her nipple into his mouth and torturing her before giving in. He just didnât know if he should voice them or not.
<< Oh, that nippleâŠ
>> What about it?
<< You wanna hear what I am thinking about?
>> Well, since Iâm trying to tempt you here⊠What do you think?
<< Fuck, Bunny. You have no idea what you are doing to me.
>> I am dying to hear it though.
Instead of telling her, Bucky decided to show her. He tried to position himself in front of the camera and take a good photo of his erection. He tried a couple of different angles, but it was a dick after all. Nothing he tried seemed to make it seem more appealing in his view. When he finally sent the picture, he added a small text.
<< How about I show you instead?
>> Oh my god!
>> You were hiding that from me all this time?
>> Damn, I feel robbed.
<< Does this mean you like it, doll?
>> Oh, thatâs new.
>> And I like it.
>> Maybe even better than Bunny.
>> And yes, I am actually drooling right now even with that horrible angle.Â
<< Horrible angle? How should I do this then? I never...
>> Do you want me to teach you, old man? Because I can.
<< Iâm always open to learning new stuff. Thatâs the only thing you can always rely on.
>> Ohh, I love that. Open-minded, doesnât mind taking criticism, no fragile masculinity. All very hot.Â
>> Try taking a picture in front of the mirror maybe. Donât take the picture from above or too down. Try to use eye level if you arenât particularly doing something. That works better.
Using a mirror wasnât a good idea for him. He could imagine the photos looking better like that, but there was no way he could hide his metal arm.
So instead of positionin his camera above, he tried to level it down, showing his full length and thickness. A photo didnât seem to work so he decided to record a short video of him playing with himself: his flesh hand going up and down slowly on his full length. He couldnât help but let a low moan when his hand brushed against the head. Fuck, imagining her seeing this⊠The idea turned him on even more. He got so excited that he forgot to check the video before sending it.
>> Fuck, James.
>> Fuck fuck fuck.
>> Your voice is so fucking hot.
>> And you are so aroused. Is it all for me?
<< Itâs all for you, doll.
<< This is what you do to me. All the time.Â
<< God, I wish you were here.
Bunny or Doll, he had no idea which one suits her better, sent a video as the response: her fingers, two of them, going in and out inside her. She was going pretty fast, indicating she had been doing this for a while, and there was a faint moaning in the background, which Bucky couldnât get enough of. He watched the video twice before answering.
>> You are gonna be the death of me.
>> Are those fingers enough? Do you want a third one or maybe you would rather have a big dildo inside?
<< I would rather have you inside me.
After this point, everything felt like a blur. Things got out of hand, they kept exchanging photos and videos until they both got pretty powerful orgasms. Yet James found himself wanting more. So much more than she probably wanted to offer.
>>> Next Chapter
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I donât think most non-Jews understand how disappointed we are in the left right now. How completely abandoned weâve become. How our contributions to progress for other groups have been erased or disavowed or hidden. How the actual tangible things that Jews have contributed to black rights and civil rights are being ignored. How weâre being told we contribute and have contributed nothing.
How we are being told that the world has been kind to us when it never has. As if my mom didnât grow up getting called a Kike and getting beat up for being Jewish. How I thought I had friends until I caught them saying âxyz was beautiful until Jews showed up.â How people told me I was pretty âfor a Jew.â How I grew up hearing stories about bombs being set off in Israel in buses and markets. How I couldnât even go two weeks without hearing that and how nobody cared and somehow, every time that happened, the whole world became more hostile to me for some reason.
I just donât understand. I donât understand what leftists are doing. Or why. I hate that I have to sayâof course, I support a free and self determined Palestine (which I truly do)âin order for you to decide Iâm worthy of care and support.
We showed up for you. All of you. And the entire movement is abandoning us at best or targeting us at worst. Celebrating our deaths. Saying we deserved it. How are we supposed to trust you ever again? How are we supposed to feel safe ever again?
A very few select people who are in my life have taken the chance to actually learn about and dismantle their own unconscious antisemitism during this time. And Iâm eternally grateful for them. But most people havenât reached out at all. Most people are still sharing hateful things that could get me hurt and they donât care. Most people Reblogging my posts are still Jews. Because we are alone. And it sucks. You need to be as loud about antisemitism as you are about Palestine or youâre an antisemite (unless youâre Arab/Muslim/PalestinianâI totally get that these groups are also doing damage control in their own communities just like Jews are).
But we are all in tremendous pain right now.
This moment will pass. And when it does, I will remember how many people let me down. I will remember that when I needed support more than Iâve ever needed it in my life, people fucking vanished. They pretended violence against my people wasnât happening. They ignored and rewrote the history of Israel to suit their own narratives.
You donât know what it feels like to be hated this much for opposite things. PoC hate us for being too white. White supremacists hate us for not being white enough. Europeans hate us for being middle eastern. Middle easterners hate us for being western/European. Everyone hates us for being settlers but continually kicks us out of their countries so that we have to settle somewhere else.
I saw a post going around from a Black person who said that the reason he and his fellow black activists go protest for Palestinians instead of fighting antisemitism (as if itâs a binary, which itâs not) is that Jews donât show up. Muslims and Palestinians do. And honestly? Fuck that guy. Heather Heyer died standing shoulder to shoulder against racism in 2017. [CORRECTION: When I first wrote this post I was under the impression that Heather Heyer was Jewish. I want to correct to avoid spreading misinfo. She was just the first (and incorrect) Jewish civil rights activist I thought of. However there are plenty of other actual Jewish civil rights activists to choose from. If you have reblogged this post from me, please feel free to add a link to the permalink version of this post with my correction to your reblog.]I have devoted substantial time and effort and money that I donât even get paid a lot of because I donât get paid a living wage. I have continually reached out to PoC people in my life of all religions to ask how they are doing and what I could be doing to help moreâboth for them personally and how they would best like me to help their community. I have elevated their voices at every opportunity. And not one person I checked in with has done the same for me or for my community.
And itâs bone chilling. Itâs awful. And itâs even worse knowing that when itâs over, people will want to go back to normal. They wonât apologize. They wonât self reflect. Theyâll just live their lives, maybe a little more aware of how much they hate us and completely indifferent to the harm theyâve caused us. How disposable they made us feel. And the thing isâŠitâs not hard for you to know. You just have to ask.
Too many people are cowards. Too many people care about looking good than actually learning something or making the world better. And to those people: you should be ashamed of yourself.
I donât have any hate in my heart. Truly. Not a drop for any group of people. But I have a tremendous lack of trust that anyone would actually lift a finger to keep me safe.
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