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photmath · 23 hours

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hello karo my love 😋

okay starting from the top before I let my feelings get me all riled up ☝🏼

love the mention of this photo of Jude with them, really enunciates how he is a part of the fam and it’s sweet!!

a nervous sputtering mess upon seeing Jude 🙃🙃🙃🙃 — “I’m really glad you’re home.” ughhhh I would’ve folded too

The laugh I snorted LMFAO — and beard mention cHXKDHKANANS !

The whole pizza exchange 🥹 just imagine my stomach fluttering with butterflies rn. Him bringing her an entire pizza of her fav! Swapped the napkin for a plate! AND A BACKWARDS CAP ugh Karo bravo 👏🏼 (special mention of “princess” 🫠🫠)

Loved the way he slipped in plans to take him to the mall next time, and then ofc her imagining the outing bc real #delulu

Tina. mmhm. Tina. mmmmhmm. sorry to the Tina’s out there but that is such a bitter name to me now, like you just knew “Tina” was going to be horrible.

Jude trying to stop her from getting up after he’s just found her again — but Tina. Mmmhmmm. Explicits are being thrown out in the air rn.

Genuinely jaw dropped and went “wtf” and then “karo how could you write this” bc HELLLO?? maaam what’s gotten into you >:(

…

Yeah and then that whole next paragraph mmhmm f that girl Tina. Still at a loss of words for *that* scene and it’s been a day. 😐

@ the cliffhanger! Karo when I catch you 🔪, “that wasn’t my bestfriend that night, that was the devil” bc the Karo I know, wouldn’t do this cksjwkcbnaak

On another note 🤓☝🏼 : you made me feel this upset and gobsmacked, you are so precious, and I always love your writing (even when the scene genuinely pisses me tf off). Didn’t even want to look at you, couldn’t even open up discord, nor think about carrots. Sigh—phenomenal writing, I’ve missed it, and as always, you inspire me to dust off my docs and finish writing. I loved your take on this trope and I cannot wait for part 2! 😋

sweet nothings - part 1

Jude Bellingham x Reader

summary: you've always had feelings for jude but never an idea on how to tell him. should you even tell him? before you can decide, someone else decides to spill the beans for you.

word count: 4.2k

warnings: language. angst. fluff. annoying characters. drinking.

a/n: brother's best friend, lets goooooooo!

You stared hard at the ceiling, hands neatly folded on your stomach as you lay flat on your bed. Your bed felt weird. It was a lot softer than what you remembered or maybe it had been a while since you had been back. Or you know, the problem wasn’t the bed.

You groaned in annoyance out loud for the millionth time this night, sitting up in your bed, your covers falling away from your body. You glared at the door that was doing its best to muffle the noises that were bleeding out from the living room downstairs. How loud could they possibly be that the noise was reaching you all the way up?

Clambering out of your bed, your eyes fell on the wall clock that was reading 1:15am, situated right above the picture of a very young you, your brother and Jude sitting on the steps right outside the kitchen, smiling toothily at the camera. You would have felt some warm feelings after glancing at the photograph, maybe it even cooling down your murderous rage but considering the hell of a long travel day you had had, the least you wanted right now was a peaceful, uneventful night of sleep.

Your steps were almost thunderous down the stairs, echoing well enough throughout the house that the game noises you had been hearing on full blast mere seconds ago, just vanished. You rounded around the corner, finding your brother sitting on the couch by himself, clutching the controller with a sheepish look on his face, “Too loud?”

“No, no,” You crossed your arms, your sleepless state making u lose any filters, voice dripping in sarcasm, “Not being loud enough, dare I say?”

“I’m sorry,” Marc apologized quickly, grappling around for the remote.

“I told him to lower the volume but he just doesn’t like listening to me.” A voice came from the far end of the room. Low-set, deep and almost velvety sounding at this late hour. You inhaled sharply through your nose, nails digging deeper in the flesh of your arm as you watched Jude emerge from the kitchen, a glass of water clutched in his hand.

You cursed inwardly, damning yourself at the reaction you always seem to have in Jude’s vicinity, him always catching you off guard despite having been around him so much. One could argue that you should be comfortable enough around him by now, no longer feeling like something was crawling on your skin whenever he would spare you a glance but here you were, acting like a school girl around her crush.

“Yeah yeah, my bad.” Marc waved his hand dismissively, finally lowering the volume on the TV before turning to you. “Happy?”

You rolled your eyes at him, trying to ignore Jude’s set gaze on you. “Would have spared me the trip downstairs, asshole if you had done that ten minutes ago.” Not being able to help yourself, your eyes relented, darting over to Jude, whose smile wiped out any moisture from your mouth.

“Hi.” He gently said.

“Hey.”

Water. You definitely needed water.

Avoiding crossing paths with Jude, you took the way around the couch towards the kitchen, almost scampering away from him. You scolded yourself harshly as you reached into the cabinet containing all the glassware. You were aware that he would be spending the night at your parents’ house, biting back all groans and protests when Marc had told you. You were under no delusions that you could escape Jude’s presence now that you were back home, but to have to run into him the first day back? No thanks.

You had scurried into your room quickly after dinner, blaming the long flight (although true) for the reason for your exhaustion and turning in early. You needed a day before you absolutely had to see Jude. Despite hoping that the distance would help calm your feelings towards him, you weren’t so sure about that now.

You sipped the ice cold water, a buzzing sensation under the soles of your feet as you heard shuffling getting closer to the kitchen. You braced yourself as Jude walked in, seemingly not taking the hint that you didn’t want to talk to him. He smiled at you again, your stomach feeling funny at that, as he placed his now empty glass at the counter separating you two.

“Sorry about the noise,” Jude broke the silence, scratching the back of his neck, “I did honestly tell him to keep it down.”

“Don’t worry about it,” You waved him off, stupidly with the hand in which you were holding the glass, the cold water droplets jumping onto your hand. “I just thought that he’d give me at least a day before pulling his usual shit.”

Silence. You shifted your toes, biting your lip as you tried to think of an excuse to go back upstairs, regretting your thirst. You could have waited till the morning; it’s not like you were dying of dehydration.

“Sorry I couldn’t come to pick you up at the airport,” Jude offered, stuffing his hands into the pockets of his sweats.

“Why?” You blurted out, “Can you drive now?”

Jude’s lips shot up in a smile, the edges of his eyes crinkling, “Ah, still no.”

“Then why would you have come?” You said in a blunt tone, blinking in question.

“I…” He looked at a loss of words, scratching the patch of hair on his skin. That was new. “I don’t know? Uber? Could have come with your brother.”

“Oh.” You set down your glass, no longer feeling thirsty, feeling a bit embarrassed. “You uh, grew a beard.”

Jude hummed in question, hand shooting up to scratch at it again, “Oh yeah I’ve been growing it out for a while now. Guess you weren’t around to see that.”

It seemed there was a lot you had not been around to see. He’d gotten a bit more taller than what you remembered last, his biceps now practically the size of your head with how snug they were against the material of his sweater. Thighs too? God, what was happening? Jude was always good looking but it seemed that he had gone through a second puberty, his beautiful features sitting more contently on his face, the long lanky boy that you pined after long gone and now standing in his place was this self-assured, handsome man.

He mistook your silence for something else, offering you a comforting smile, “Well you’re back now so you won’t be missing out on anything. If you’re planning to stay, that is?”

You let out a breathy laugh, in a joking tone almost, “Yeah don’t worry, I’m not going anywhere.”

“That’s great.” Jude’s smile was broad, leaning casually against the counter towards you, “I have to tell you though it was absolutely horrendous being around your brother this much without you around. Do you know how annoying he is? It’s a miracle I’ve lasted this long. I can’t believe how much you keep him in line.”

“Wow,” You playfully rolled your eyes at him, “And to think you two would groan so much whenever I wanted to tag along for ice cream back in the day.”

“Hey,” He quickly defended himself, putting his hand up in surrender, “That was all Marc. I actually really liked having you around.”

Your heart skipped a beat.

“Who else would actually shove a whole ice cream cone in his face?”

Your face warmed at the memory, laughter escaping your lips as you remembered the incident. There wasn’t much to it. He was just complaining loudly about you being there and you had simply shoved your soft serve in his face without skipping a beat and had placed an order for another as though nothing had happened. Jude’s boisterous laughter was still echoing in your brain.

The atmosphere in the kitchen had changed, going from awkward and hesitant to warm and comfortable. This was nice, this you could do. But as you saw the crinkle in his eyes, cheeks round from his laugh, you swore that your knees were melting. You tore your eyes away from his face, focusing your attention on your abandoned glass. “I uh, should get some sleep.”

He nodded, drumming his fingers on his thigh, voice so soft and sweet when he says, “I’ll make sure Marc doesn’t disturb your sleep.”

You felt your stomach tumble again, eyes trained on the ground as you moved past him, inhaling his cologne and narrowly avoiding his shoulder as you made to exit the kitchen. But before you could cross the threshold, you found yourself halting at the gentle whisper of your name. You turned around to see Jude fully facing you, hands shoved deep into the pockets of his sweats, head tilted slightly to his left, an unreadable expression swimming in his eyes.

“Yeah Jude?”

“I’m really glad you’re home.”

The house was quiet now, almost fooling you into thinking that there was no one else besides you. You sighed, lying in the same position that you had been before your little trip downstairs, his words playing like a broken record in your head. I’m really glad you’re home. It was hard to fight off the smile that was adorning your lips, an almost wistful sigh escaping your lips.

You clasped your cheeks in your hands, feeling how warm your face had become. God what a way to be welcomed back home. “Okay God, I really need to get some sleep.” You tossed in your bed, turning to your side, eyes flickering to the photograph making you smile once again. You felt sleep take a grip of you, sparing one last glance at the gentle glow of light from underneath the door, feeling a strange comfort at the knowledge that Jude was just beyond it.

---

You sipped your coffee, delighting in its sweet taste coating your tongue. You had finally made it out of the house after going through the dreaded task of unpacking. You would have left your damn suitcase as it is if it were up to you but Sophie had threatened to cancel plans if you didn’t, demanding a picture of your empty baggage when you had texted her.

You were so happy to be home, back with your most longest and dearest friend ever, relieved that time and distance both had not changed your relationship with her. Back at your usual café, in your usual spot with your usual order of two iced lattes and a slice of carrot cake, you had never felt more at home.

You two had been here a while now, coffees half-finished and cake all gone, nothing but crumbs left to be picked off. Sophie had debriefed you about her life, her unsuccessful romances, academia and a very adorable update on her life as a new aunt. Sophie was rather quick to the point, asking the question to which she was dying to know the answer to since your return.

“So,” Sophie smirked, “Run into Jude yet?”

You groaned, lightly tapping your forehead against the table.

“I’ll take that as a yes,” She laughed, pushing your shoulder. “And?”

You straightened up, sighing. “And he’s still as cute as ever. Actually no scratch that. He’s hot now so that’s great.” You nervously played your straw, swirling your coffee around. “I thought that maybe I had created this false image of him in my head and the distance would help me snap out of it but nope! No false images were created.”

Sophie chuckled at your state, “If anything I feel like it got doubled. Still no plans on telling him though?”

You scrunched your nose at her, “And say what? Hey Jude, I know you’re my brother’s best friend and we’ve practically grown up together but I love you! Thanks bye!”

“Wouldn’t hurt,” She shrugged. “No but seriously.”

You sighed, staring at your coffee. “I don’t know, Soph. I’ve had these feelings for so long now that it almost seems a bit ridiculous to tell him at this point. I feel like…I feel like I’ve missed my chance.”

“Oh please,” She rolled her eyes, “The only time its too late is when he’s said his ‘I dos’ and even then there’s the option of divorce.”

“Sophie!” You scolded her.

She threw her hands up in defense, “I’m just saying that last I checked, he’s single so…it wouldn’t be the worst thing in the world. If you’re worried about your brother, then I don’t think you should worry about him. you know he wouldn’t disapprove as long as you’re happy.”

You hummed in agreement, tracing the condensation on your glass. “Yeah you’re right, I’ll uh think about it.”

“Great!” Sophie beamed at you. “Ugh I’m still craving something sweet, let me get one more slice of cake, hold on.”

---

You were standing with your back pressed up against the living room wall, smiling so wide that your cheeks hurt as you listened intently to Aimee and Sarah’s funny barbecue incident that you had missed during your time away. You were really glad to meet Aimee again, always enjoying the company of your brother’s girlfriend since the two had known each other from their school days. You laughed hard at Sara’s joke, careful not to send any drinks that were clutched in their hands down on the floor.

The music wasn’t blaring, thank god, like it used to whenever Marc would throw a party back in the day. Instead it was at a nice volume, loud enough to enjoy but not so loud that everyone had to yell over it. You recognized most of the people from either around the neighbourhood or from Marc’s university, all of them recognizing you in an instant and then having to play a quick game of catch-up with everyone. It all felt pretty close to whenever you would meet one of your mom’s friend and they’d all say “You’ve grown so much!”

You felt your stomach grumble a bit, suddenly feeling hungry when you noticed that you had decided to unwittingly skip lunch by making a long trip to the bookstore where you had perused every shelf without any regards to your needs saying that you’d just have an early dinner. You waited patiently for the girls to finish their story, squeezed both of their hands as you excused yourself.

There had to be pizza at this party; there was always pizza at these parties.

The scent of food was wafting from the kitchen, beckoning you closer as you spotted the stacked pizza boxes on the marble counter. Sighing in relief, you grabbed yourself a napkin before lifting the top of the box to peer inside it. A single slice of cheese pizza was all that remained. It looked cold and cheese wasn’t really your favourite but with how hungry you were, you didn’t care.

You reached out to take it but before you could, you felt someone nudge you away by their hip, shutting the lid of the box quickly, losing the sight of your salvation. “Come on,” You groaned, “I was gonna eat that.”

You turned to your right to find Jude standing there in all his glory, sporting a loose black sweater, sleeves pushed up to his elbows atop beige pants, the hat on his head turned backwards and the most gorgeous smile you had ever seen. “Relax, princess,” He teased causing heat to ride up your neck. Jude reached over to stack of boxes on the dining table that you had missed on your way in, pulling out the second one from the bottom. He opened it, warm air greeting your face as you saw a whole pizza topped with mushrooms and pepperoni. Your favourite.

Your mouth salivated at the sight, not even noticing when Jude switched out the napkin in your hand for a paper plate, plopping the biggest slice on it. He tapped your hand to break you out of your trance, motioning you to eat, putting the box to side away from the others. Jude raised his eyebrows, watching you scarf down the slice in silence.

“So,” He began, watching you reach for another, “Did you not eat for like the past…five days or something?”

You shot him a glare, a task difficult when your cheeks are filled with food so at best it felt like a chipmunk was threatening him. “Can’t I eat?”

“No no, you can,” Jude eyed the slice that was quickly disappearing, “This seems a bit concerning.”

“Well if you must know,” You managed to garble out with your mouth full, “I accidentally skipped lunch today.”

“How does one accidentally skip lunch?” He laughed.

You just shrugged at him. “Had to buy a bunch of stuff.”

“Oh,” Jude drawled dramatically as though suddenly he had uncovered the secrets of the universe, “So the princess was out shopping?”

You rolled your eyes at him, smacking his bicep and ignoring how you felt it flex under your fingers as he grinned at you cheekily. “Tell you what,” Jude chuckled, “Take me with you next time and I’ll make sure there are no accidents.”

You turned your head away hoping he didn’t notice the change in colour in your cheeks, choosing to take another bite instead of saying something stupid. You pictured it, hand around his elbow as the two of walked from store to store, pointing at things you liked and him helping you pick things out. You pictured him carrying his bags for you, stopping at a cute café to pick a bite, taking inventory of both your shopping and your day.

You snapped out of your thoughts when you felt Jude press into your side, leaning back against the marble, noticing a girl was now standing in front of you two, one hand on her hip and one clutched around her drink. You couldn’t recall her name, faintly recognizing her from around. Wasn’t she a friend of a friend?

“Hey Tina,” Jude said, body language tense next to you.

Tina! Of course. You recognized that name but nothing pleasant came to mind. If you wracked your brain right you remembered that she was the friend of a friend of a friend of Marc’s who hung around, you suspected, for Jude. You never liked her and that sentiment was shared by her communicating it with dirty looks, eyeing you up and down with a sneer on her face. She made you feel small; you didn’t know why but she did. Maybe it was because you thought she had an actual chance with Jude or that he would only see her type of girls. Not that there was something wrong with girls like her. You just weren’t them.

“Hey Jude,” Tina greeted in a sweet voice, “You looked awfully bored so I thought I’d come and rescue you.”

You didn’t know if you should say hi, Tina clearly adamant on ignoring you. Your plate was empty, hunger satiated and you felt like someone had slapped you across the face. Her sneering tone despite its sweetness, made you inch off from Jude and not notice how he tried to press closer to you as you distanced yourself. You trashed the paper plate and turned towards the bathroom off the living room to wash the grease off your fingers.

You let out an irritated sigh, soap bubbling between your palms. You hated feeling like this, small and belittled. You weren’t a little kid, a full grown ass person who couldn’t be pushed around like this. But you were always a bit sensitive when it came to matters of the heart, especially since that meant Jude. Your dates and exes would always end up being compared with him with you feeling immense guilt knowing that it was not their fault you would do it. You sighed again. I really need to get over this.

You stepped back out with your hands now dry, a bout of laughter coming from the back lawn getting your attention. You slid out the doors, noticing Marc, Aimee and a couple of others lounging on the outdoor sofas. Seeing a spot empty, you plopped down on the seat. You joined in on the conversation here and there, interjecting with a joke at the right moments, so absorbed that you didn’t notice Jude pulling a chair next to you.

“Can’t believe you just left me,” He huffed in a low voice just for you to hear.

Your eyes snapped to his, words vanishing from your mouth when you realized how close he was. Did he just materialize out of thin air? You felt your gaze dip to his lips, looking so pink and soft, mesmerized into almost leaning in and feeling them against your own. You swallowed thickly, eyes averting to your clasped hands in your lap. “I thought I should give you some space with your fans.” You hoped that it came out more teasing and less bitter.

Jude hummed, adjusting the hat on his head, “Well there was only one of her so ‘fans’ is an exaggeration.”

It was your turn to huff, folding your arms over your chest defensively and looking away from him. “Yeah whatever.”

He laughed at your state, almost comical with how you were turned away from him. “Hey come on,” He tugged your shirt, getting you to turn back, his hand squeezing your elbow in comfort, “I’m just kidding.”

You fought the smile that was threatening to spill on your lips, taking delight that he was here sitting next to you, hand still on your elbow. You relaxed in your seat, trying to focus back on the group conversation but Jude’s fingers were distracting you, their warmth radiating through your shirt.

“Are you col-?”

“There you are!” Tina’s shrill voice came over your shoulder, advancing quick to Jude’s side. You felt yourself deflate, sinking in the back of your seat even deeper, Jude’s hand leaving their place from their hold on you. “I guess I didn’t do a good job of saving you.”

You felt her throw a dirty look your way. Oh great, this again. Now you really had to zone Jude out with Tina doing her best to engage him in conversation, her nails scraping against his cheek to turn his face towards hers.

You needed a drink.

You got up from your seat, beginning to walk away to the little drinks station next to the doors leading back inside when Jude halted you by gently gripping your wrist. He raised his eyebrow at you, “Where to?”

“Just getting a drink.” You shook your wrist out of his grasp and went over to the array of drinks, settling for an orange soda, not in the mood for drinking anything that would lower your inhibitions.

You turned around to see Tina watching you, her eyes narrowed in thought. “You know,” She loudly announced, halting all conversation. “I’ve always admired your resilience.”

You stilled, not knowing where this was going.

“I don’t know if its resilience though or just plain stupidity,” Tina spat out. “Always following around like a sick puppy, sticking close, a little too close perhaps. Never having the guts to say what you want.”

What the fuck?

Tina let out a laugh, more cruel than joyous, “Do you think he’ll eventually take pity on you and fuck you as a favour?”

There was a ringing noise in your ear, your entire body stilling. You saw Marc’s and Aimee’s expression get ugly out of the corner of your eye, shooting glares at Tina. Jude was now looking at her with disgust, shifting his body away from hers, “What the hell?”

“Do you know she has a thing for you?” She whipped her head to Jude, eyes growing to the size of saucers, almost looking like a lunatic. “She’s been eyeing you ever since she had eyes. All needy and pathetic. You’d think she’d be able to take a hint.” She was talking fast now, filled with scoffs and eye rolls. “Fucking borderline harassment at this point with the way she drools over him. What she thinks she has a free pass just because he happens to be great pals with her brother? Puh-lease! She needs to snap out of her looney phase and accept that he doesn’t like you back despite your pitiful pining! He doesn’t care about you.”

You wished you had the ability, the sense and the grace to simply dismiss it with a laugh, or maybe even a snap to shut her up, not letting a single word of her affect you. But you didn't, standing there shell-shocked, every word of hers hitting you like a tonne of bricks.

You were frozen on your spot, breathing erratically as though someone had sucker out all the oxygen from the air. It felt like someone had taken a knife and split out your guts in the open. your vision got blurry, trying to blink away the tears as you slammed your drink down on the table, not caring as half of the content sloshed out, dampening the cloth.

And you ran. Ran away from everyone, ignoring your name being called, ignoring the commotion that had erupted behind you, not being able to hear a word with the loud ringing in your ears. Ran back into the house and into your room, shutting the door with such force that it almost created a shock wave.

another fic another bechdel test failed<3

#te karo ❤️#< it isn’t enough I love you fr #fic rec #jude bellingham x reader #em.writes

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